# Need a woman's opinion.



## jlcrome (Nov 5, 2017)

Me and my has been seperated for 5 weeks now. She moved out I'm still at the house. From time to time I kinda snoop on one of the tablets from my guess it has the same google account, her facebook etcs. I do that not to be a bad guy just to get a heads up on how to interact with her for reconciliation. Ok now to the good part. I check her facebook search bar and she types in this guys name in let's just say john doe. Well from the search history it shows she looked for him 2-3 times a day and probably the last month 27 days shows her searching him. Last 4 months not as much probably every other day she search him. She claims it's just a friend and I personally can't find any other red flags but I know they probably talked on the phone. So from my math she searches this guy about 85-90% of the time in the past month on facebook. Is this just an infatuation or more to it? I like to know the girl code on this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There is no "girl code". 

The only one who knows what's going on with your wife is your wife.

I can take a guess.. if she is searching him on Facebook, she is checking up on him.. .meaning that she does not have normal contact with him. After all, if she was in normal contact, she would not need to secretly search for him on Facebook.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Woman here.

No, this man is not just a friend.


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## xMadame (Sep 1, 2016)

Yup. SHE (please ignore caps, my tablet is being weird) DOES not have normal contact with this guy and she is checking up on him. Guy is probably married and/or SHE DOES not trust him. 

This will not end pretty.

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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

She's checking up on him to continue her connection. As one post mentioned, he is probably married or has a girlfriend.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

I think people are jumping the gun here, lol.
The person I creep the most changes.
Maybe an ex got married and I'm stalking him for now because i want to see if my wedding was better, lol.
Maybe my OK friend put on a ton of weight... Or lost a lot of weight and I want to be the evil ***** that I am and compare myself.
FB is a superficial viewing platform.
I straight up would not read into this.
But TAM automatically thinkt hey've checked out or are cheating. 
It's insane.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

She probably not in contact or just started contact and looking to see what he has to say. Sometimes when people 'move on'. They actually go backwards, it maybe and old flame that she wants to see what's up with him. I once tried finding my ex-fiancée. But as the previous poster said is was actually because I am happily married and wanted to check, and yeah feel smug if his was ****. LOL

However with your separation more like fondly looking back. Or could be a new meet that she is thinking about. 

Also note on FB you don't have to search for your friends. They are on your home page or under your friends tab. Therefore if she was 'close' she'd just friend him.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Btw are you only looking for the FB perspective or advice on reconciliation?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I think people are jumping the gun here, lol.
> The person I creep the most changes.
> Maybe an ex got married and I'm stalking him for now because i want to see if my wedding was better, lol.
> Maybe my OK friend put on a ton of weight... Or lost a lot of weight and I want to be the evil ***** that I am and compare myself.
> ...


Not insane at all. Maybe I would buy your theory about checking up on wedding photos or a fat friend IF she had only checked 2-3 times. But 27 times in 30 days??

Not likely.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

I agree with @UnicornCupcake and @anastasia6. It could just be wishful thinking on her part. 

I guess the bigger question is what exactly is the purpose of your separation, and was it planned (temporary for specific period no dating other period, m.c.) or a "let's play it by ear" type of thing? Is the end goal divorce?

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## David51 (Sep 12, 2017)

There is someone I search for often like once every month. I am looking for a picture of her face as it has been many years since I have seen her. (Just curious here). I am happily married not a stalker, lonely, or any other negative thing other than I’d like to lose a few lbs. and I need a haircut.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

I'm CONSTANTLY stalking my old best friend. She kind of disappeared and I want to know where she is, lol. I have a lot of time at work and i'm on the computer so ehhh why not. By TAM standards I'm probably a lesbian, lol.


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

Not a woman, but it sounds like she separated because "she needed space" (A.K.A bang a bunch of Chad's from her past without you prodding her). So now she's on FB looking to hook up with an old flame that laid pipe real good. Sounds like you married an alpha widow my friend. Sorry you have to deal with this.


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## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

Sometimes checking on someone turns into a habit like watching a soap opera. Could be innocent voyeurism. Could be she is curious. As other posters have said, if she is in contact with him in the real world, there is no need to check him repeatedly on facebook.

having said all that, I will add that imo if this is what you do at the beginning of a reconciliation, you need to re-think how you are going about things.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I recommend logging out of her FB account and not look at what she is doing.

Are you married? If so, get moving on the divorce.

If not married? Than just move on.


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## GraceyA (Nov 21, 2017)

IMO, She was just probably curious about him. Agree with other posters that she doesn't have normal contact with him or else she wouldn't keep on searching him on facebook.


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

If she's seeing him and he's married, she could very well be "checking up" on he BF on Facebook. I think people underestimate how infatuated people get at the start of an affair. If he's single she could be looking if he's with other women, if he's married he could be looking at what him and his wife are doing.

I don't think looking at his FB profile means there's no contact.


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## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

Do not believe the hype! She is interested in him. She has a crush, or the two of them are flirting and about to embark on a new sexual "friendship." I know this because this was how I discovered who my husband was having an affair with - he searched for her profile on FB something like 8 times in 10 days before she invited him over at 2 am (he was working OT shift that ended early) and he screwed her. I believe your wife most likely has his phone number and is already texting him. If you two are trying to work it out, she should be concentrating on you, not a new male friend. And she should be Facebook stalking you to see what you are doing. Your wife is stalking him, looking for new pictures, seeing if he posted anything new like an article, quiz, joke, etc so she can get a glimpse of who he is as a person, what he is interested in, his moods, and so forth. She wants to know him. If she hasn't had a sexual encounter with him, it's only a matter of time. I could be wrong, but if I look someone up that much, it would be because I am interested. But that's just my opinion. Good luck.


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