# Me again



## interesting (Oct 27, 2014)

Yes….It is me again……..please don't judge me….I am still with Dan. JUst so hard to let go….but how do you, or do you, have you, got over an affair. I would only like to hear from those people who have been cheated on and have gotten over it.


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## Welsh15 (Feb 24, 2014)

interesting said:


> Yes….It is me again……..please don't judge me….I am still with Dan. JUst so hard to let go….but how do you, or do you, have you, got over an affair. I would only like to hear from those people who have been cheated on and have gotten over it.


I don't think anyone ever gets over it, they only learn to deal with it. Not sure who originally posted this but they are words of wisdom for me, 18 months out from DD and still in R.

Re: List of What BS go through
________________________________________

All WSs and BSs should read this...this all is very true
it's the little triggers, little stabs that will be there even 5 years from now, or 10, or 20. 

It's the disbelief BS feels and will always feel, never quite understanding how WS could have done that. 
But WS did.

WS may have said over and over that they have told the full truth and BS might have decided to believe them. But BS always knows that WS has told them as much truth as WS thought was necessary, not the 100% truth that BS thought was necessary. WS will NEVER reveal what they were really thinking at the time. BS will be left with nagging doubts FOREVER, powerless to do anything about it because BS wasn't there or wasn't inside WS's head.
That is the hardest thing to live with. 

EA or PA. A month or a year. Sex once or a hundred times. One lie or fifty. It doesn't matter. All the damage was done in the moment that WS took that step. It destroyed what was, and what will never be the same again no matter what WS does. 
That time is gone. 

BS thought WS was someone they could trust with their life, their best friend in the world, their confidant, someone who would always stand by them. 
That's what BS thought, and BS was wrong, so wrong. 

BS sometimes remembers what it was like when there wasn't that little cloud overhead. 
And feels a pang as they think of when the sky was blue.

BS would have never chosen this for themselves. Yet somehow they found themselves in it. 

Now it's Plan B. And it will always be Plan B. 

R is the Plan B version of marriage. 

It might be a strange thing to say, but so grievous is the wound of betrayal that had WS died, the pain would be easier. The sadness would be a different kind of sadness. 
A more tolerable kind of sadness.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

Welsh15 said:


> I don't think anyone ever gets over it, they only learn to deal with it. Not sure who originally posted this but they are words of wisdom for me, 18 months out from DD and still in R.
> 
> Re: List of What BS go through
> ________________________________________
> ...


Wow, This says it all.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Welsh15 said:


> I don't think anyone ever gets over it, they only learn to deal with it. Not sure who originally posted this but they are words of wisdom for me, 18 months out from DD and still in R.
> 
> Re: List of What BS go through
> ________________________________________
> ...


All of the above.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

It takes time and work on both sides.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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