# To See her is to Hurt



## dan4120 (Aug 9, 2012)

Why is it when I talk to or see my wife (who I am separated from and waiting to finalize divorce) make me crazy. I can't focus when she contacts me, oh and by the way she wants to "Be my friend". Why does she wield power over me, I lose control? I cannot seem to understand that, and she is the one that left. I go through so many emotions and I feel like I will never get through. Take for instance, this morning she calls me up and mind you I haven't talked or seen her in 10 days, I am never want to talk to her again, bu she received some of my mail and calls my work phone because I blocked her on my cell and wants me to come get the mail. I go down and get the mail and she says "Are you going to say HI?" I said "No, not really" and walked out. I wanted to say HI so badly though, I wanted to hear her speak and now I am left trying not to indulge her though. It has been 2 months and I feel as if I will never get rid of her. What should I do? 

www.workingthroughthecrap.com


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## spun (Jul 2, 2012)

dan4120 said:


> Why is it when I talk to or see my wife (who I am separated from and waiting to finalize divorce) make me crazy. I can't focus when she contacts me, oh and by the way she wants to "Be my friend". Why does she wield power over me, I lose control? I cannot seem to understand that, and she is the one that left. I go through so many emotions and I feel like I will never get through. Take for instance, this morning she calls me up and mind you I haven't talked or seen her in 10 days, I am never want to talk to her again, bu she received some of my mail and calls my work phone because I blocked her on my cell and wants me to come get the mail. I go down and get the mail and she says "Are you going to say HI?" I said "No, not really" and walked out. I wanted to say HI so badly though, I wanted to hear her speak and now I am left trying not to indulge her though. It has been 2 months and I feel as if I will never get rid of her. What should I do?
> 
> www.workingthroughthecrap.com


Wanting to be "your friend" is all about her relieving her guilt.

The sooner you sever all ties completely, the sooner you will be better. She will feed off of your emotions.

Refuse to engage with her over anything other than business.

Take it from the guy writing this. You will remain "hooked" until you cut all emotionally charged contact.

Go to the post office and fill out a change of address form--that will solve that problem.


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

I feel your pain. I have about 3 weeks left before I close on my new house and leave my current one. I have to see my wife every day. Worse yet every night she goes out and sits in her vehicle in the garage and talks to the other guy. I tell myself everyday not to let it get to me, but every time I see her I want to break down and every time she talks to that guy I want to scream. Worse yet every once in awhile I send her a email or say something. I can't stop pleading for her to reverse course. I know it doesn't help, but I just can't stop.


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