# Some reflections...



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Another day off from teaching due to weather in KC, was ready to go to work, too late to go back to sleep (well try to sleep)....so I thought I would reflect some on what I've learned since the wife and I have been separated for 3 months...maybe others can add to the list:

--alcohol is a cruel mistress, blinds you, numbs you...and makes you feel like chit in the morning...

--there is a direct correlation, the more you cry, the less sleep you are going to get...

--no matter how much space you take up in a bed, it is still half empty...

--it's tough giving them space when all you want to do is hold them...

--when giving them space, living in limbo, not knowing what is going on, makes you cry more/less sleep...

--take care of the small stuff, say thanks...help with chores, hold hands, give hugs...if you can't do that, the big stuff will eat you alive...

--beer taste good when the bed is half empty, but it doesn't help fill the bed...

--beer just tastes good which is partly why I'm crying, not sleeping in a half empty bed and in a position to make this list...

--love isn't a light switch you turn on or off, from what I've learned, it is a choice...and I choose to love her until I have done everything possible to win her back...only then, if it does/doesn't work, will I be able to live with myself...

--mirrors remind us of who we are, not what we've been...I'm working hard to like what I see...

--sleep is way over rated...but you can't ever get enough of it...

--working out/exercise is a great way to get rid of stress and teach yourself discipline...

--reading, reading, reading...it makes a mind healthier...

--Kids can help heal you more than anything beyond having your loved one back home...God Blessed me with three greatones!

--I've learned I need to learn how to pray, to pray more often, and to ask for forgiveness...

--getting forgiveness doesn't mean they forget...

--beer does help you forget, but not in a good way...

--saying "I love you" means so much more than just that...but actions communicate so much more...

--after 3 months, there is still hope and faith that things can get better, that a 50 year old man can still mature...and I'll be okay, no matter what!


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## Shorty619 (Dec 15, 2010)

I think your very last few words are the most important of your entire list.....you WILL be ok no matter what.


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## hopemom (Dec 22, 2010)

I love what you said about love being a light switch, my 52 year old husband says I don't love you any more, but I say, try. Do all the things someone who is in love would do before you give up and walk away. We are worth saving and working for. He isn't really willing to do that yet, but he is still in the house and we are getting along ok


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## troy (Jan 30, 2011)

I have had many dates with the bottle. It does help me forget, but the next day its worse.

All I have left is hope also. The wife has checked out and refuses to give me another chance. 

The worst part of my day is when I go to bed alone, knowing she is downstairs alone in another bed. Sometimes I just want to get up and go in her bed and just give her a big hug, but I know that would be a huge mistake.

I have been going through this about a year now and I know now that I will be okay too. This site helps allot.


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