# do u think after getting my divorce , will i be with someone else and find my soulmat



## jennifer22009 (Sep 19, 2009)

i am scared !!


before i get marry i was scared to get marry because i hate divorce , and in the same time i blame myself because , my husband is a faithfull one and he is a very nice person , but he couldnt stand me when i was a little stressed ! yes i know i have done some mistakes like trying to make things complicated , but i had my own reason wich i dont think i will have the ability to write it here , it is so detailes i am just talking in general , i am a nice person too , i did understand him when he have any material problem , i never said to him anything wich makes him feel that he is guilty about it , because i love him ; 
we still divorce yet , but he will soon 
the bad things wich hurt me a lot is that 
we met one month he get married and he went to his home country to make my visa application process and everything was fine 
as soon as he travelled ; i started to get angry quick because he asked me to be online everyday , from the time he come from work untill the time he go back to work in the morning wich makes me feel tired being next to the pc 10 HOURS everday it is a lot i sleep while i am connecting with him and he too , so taht he can see me sleeping deeply and me too ! 
i dont know what isthe things pushed me to get angry quick and start to creat problems with no a specific reason 
is it because i had that kind of routine after being stop fromwork as he asked me 
or because i really dont do anything and my visa went very late wich i was waiting around 10 months and still didnt get yet again 
and the visa has 80 % cause of our divorce because , if the vsa comes quick , he wont arrive to that level or relation way 
but the way of our relation procedures was very very difficult 
because i marriedhim but i still didnt enjoy living with him peacely 
we were waiting for the visa but unfrotunately now h cancell it 
because i use to fight with him everyday 

i know that he dosnt cheat on me , even his mother tell me that , but i dont know why as soon as he come online i start to find fights and accuse him and many ideas start to get into my mind of doubt 
and i know very well that he dosnt cheat on me 
anyway i useto ask him to divorce me , but if fact i never meant it i just say it to scared him ; 
but i was shoked when he said that he cant be patient anymore cause he forgive me a lot and he said that everytime i do appolizige i just do the same things again 
so he said he will divorce me 
that is why now i feel like i am lost 
and life dosnt mean anything for me now 

do y think one day i can be with someone else who i might be happy with him 
who knows??!!
i am scared


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