# Advice for lack of passion



## TheDude135 (Jan 20, 2017)

*Wife lacking passion*

My wife and I have been married for 2.5 years (together for 6), are ~30 years old, and have a very deep and meaningful relationship on many levels. We spend lots of time together and truly enjoy each other's company. We recently bought a house and both have great jobs we enjoy. Our lives are very secure and happy, but I feel as if the passion has left. My wife recently told me she loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me forever; however, she has not been feeling sexually attracted to me for some time. I know that pain during sex has been a significant problem for her over the past couple years and she has been to numerous doctors, none of which have been able to provide any insight. Sex is not enjoyable for her as it is for me. We are continuing to search for solutions to the pain as she is really upset and feels “broken.”

What concerns me is that she has also has been having intense crushes, vivid dreams, and desires for an old friend and her boss over the past six months. I am starting to think her lack of passions for me is not entirely from the pain as she continues to have desires directed elsewhere. Is it something I did/did not do? She tells me she does not want to have these crushes and you cannot control what your mind is attracted to, but I am becoming very concerned about our relationship. I have no doubt in my mind she would never act on her feelings towards these other men, but it is very difficult for me to hear this when out passion is low. We have discussed these issues to death, but I have not felt we have been able to come to a resolution where either of us feels good about it. My wife is also seeing a therapist for learning how to open about her feelings as talking about these topics does not come easily to her. From a young age, she was forced to internalize her emotions for protection due to a broken household, and truly opening up to someone else is a challenge for her. Her mother is also going through a fight with cancer which also weighs heavily on her and been a major source of stress over the past year.

I need advice and would love to hear from anyone here if you have experienced something similar. What can I do to help her? What can I do to help us? I continue to love and support her unconditionally, but I am not feeling confident in the outcome so far. Thank you all in advance!


----------



## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

@TheDude135

Don't put up with this. This is a mind game a lot of women play. A **** test if you will. Most of the time they don't even realize they are doing it. It's an emotionally driven thing. Often when a person knows they can mess with you they do. She needs to know you won't put us with this. They marriage is on the line.

It sucks that she had a broken home and all that but you are not her therapist. You are her husband. She needs to do her part.

Maybe this is you. 



 It might not be.

Usually I don't subscribe to the Beta/Alpha distinction but this guy has some good points.


----------



## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

TheDude135 said:


> What concerns me is that she has also has been having intense crushes, vivid dreams, and desires for an old friend and her boss over the past six months.


How do you know this? Has she come right out to tell you that she's had these crushes, dreams and desires? If my wife told me she had a crush on one of her old boyfriends, while we are married, I would be devastated. She's thinking the grass is greener on the other side and it really isn't.

You might want to lay down a statement to her and let it sink into her head: If she ever acts on any of these feelings she needs to come and tell you about it immediately. To not do so would show an extreme amount of disrespect for the person she says she wants to be with for the rest of her life. And if that ever happens, then you can decide whether you want to work things out and whether you can ever trust her again. 

It almost sounds like she's going through a mid-life crisis but 30-something is too young for that.


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Read No More Mr Nice Guy. See link for free copy. https://archive.org/details/RobertGloverNoMoreMrNiceGuy

Also get a copy of Married Man's Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay. Get it today.

1) In my personal experience, the thought of other men will DEFINITELY reduce her passion for you. No doubt. No doubt. No doubt. 

2) If you think she will NEVER act on her feelings for others, you are a fool. EVERY guy says that about their wife, until they discover they are cheating. It is a REAL risk and you should treat it as such. If she had a clean path to bang her old friend and old boss, she would. 

3) Tell us more about the pain during sex. BTDT.

You have two problems. The physical and the emotional. They might be related.

About her pain, she might be too dry (no sexual attraction to you) and too uptight and thus too tight. This will cause pain.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here are some books that will help the two of you revive the passion in your relationship.


*Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence* by Esther Perel

And then 

"His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters" by Dr. Harley


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Wife lacking passion*



TheDude135 said:


> My wife and I have been married for 2.5 years (together for 6), are ~30 years old, and have a very deep and meaningful relationship on many levels. We spend lots of time together and truly enjoy each other's company. .....
> 
> .....Our lives are very secure and happy,* but I feel as if the passion has left.* My wife recently told me she loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me forever; however, *she has not been feeling sexually attracted to me for some time.* ...
> 
> ...


Have you ever thought about writing a soap opera script?

Seriously that is a lot on your plate. May I make a few suggestions.

1. Trust your instinct. If the passion is ending after 2.5 years of marriage, you are headed for some serious hard times. Yes, she has lots of reason, but the two of your are suppose to be an intimate couple.​
2. As to sex being painful. She is working with a doctor, which is good, but have her find a specialist. Also she is working with a therapist on feelings and communication, have the two of you go to a sex therapist. She may have vaginal pain, she may feel broken, she may feel that her mother's cancer is too much for her to handle, but really, there is a lot of sex and intimacy and bonding behaviors that a husband and wife can share without penis in vagina intercourse. 

PIV is not the only sex act that can bond two people together. Find something else that the two of you can enjoy until her painful intercourse thing can be resolved or until you have found something you both really really enjoy. There is role playing, there are foot fetishes, HJ's, BJ's, Cunnilingus, titty-f's, erotic spanking, bondage, mutual masturbation, sex toys, prostate massage, anal, ................ You are not limited to painful PIV unless you want to be. A sex therapist can help you with options and give her encouragement.

Finding an alternative and feeling sexy again may be an important part in her feeling sexy with you and not feeling broken​
3. Now as to her having vivid dreams and crushes. Trust your instinct, it is not good. However, it may not be as bad as you fear. 

If she feels broken and unsexy, because she doesn't have any way to have enjoyable sex with her husband she may have dreams/fantasies that she is sexy with others. Not good, but understandable. She may even flirt with others who flirt back as a way of feeling like a non-broken sexual being. In doing so she may understand that she is not going to follow-through because she knows intercourse is painful, but she likes the attention and isn't going to tell the other person the reality of the situation. Whatever is going on is not healthy for your marriage. 

Again, my suggestion is drop the therapist unless it is to really help her deal with the things she feels about her mother and have the two of you go to a sex therapist.​
Your marriage is in the early stages of crisis and you need professional help.


----------



## Relationship Teacher (Jan 3, 2016)

TheDude135 said:


> My wife and I have been married for 2.5 years (together for 6), are ~30 years old, and have a very deep and meaningful relationship on many levels. We spend lots of time together and truly enjoy each other's company. We recently bought a house and both have great jobs we enjoy. Our lives are very secure and happy, but I feel as if the passion has left. My wife recently told me she loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me forever; however, she has not been feeling sexually attracted to me for some time. I know that pain during sex has been a significant problem for her over the past couple years and she has been to numerous doctors, none of which have been able to provide any insight. Sex is not enjoyable for her as it is for me. We are continuing to search for solutions to the pain as she is really upset and feels “broken.”
> 
> What concerns me is that she has also has been having intense crushes, vivid dreams, and desires for an old friend and her boss over the past six months. I am starting to think her lack of passions for me is not entirely from the pain as she continues to have desires directed elsewhere. Is it something I did/did not do? She tells me she does not want to have these crushes and you cannot control what your mind is attracted to, but I am becoming very concerned about our relationship. I have no doubt in my mind she would never act on her feelings towards these other men, but it is very difficult for me to hear this when out passion is low. We have discussed these issues to death, but I have not felt we have been able to come to a resolution where either of us feels good about it. My wife is also seeing a therapist for learning how to open about her feelings as talking about these topics does not come easily to her. From a young age, she was forced to internalize her emotions for protection due to a broken household, and truly opening up to someone else is a challenge for her. Her mother is also going through a fight with cancer which also weighs heavily on her and been a major source of stress over the past year.
> 
> I need advice and would love to hear from anyone here if you have experienced something similar. What can I do to help her? What can I do to help us? I continue to love and support her unconditionally, but I am not feeling confident in the outcome so far. Thank you all in advance!


Sexual arousal is different than sexual desire. She is going to therapy but I see no evidence of a proper approach to tackling this concern.
@EunuchMonk advice is absurd. Resolving sexual dysfunction requires understanding and participation from the partner (you) to enable beneficial change. Misinformed partners often doom the possibility of restoring a healthy sex life.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: Wife lacking passion*

TheDude135,

I merged your two threads into this one. You will get better responses with only one thread on a topic.


----------



## TheDude135 (Jan 20, 2017)

Thank you all so much! You have certainly made me feel like I am not alone. I will try to tackle some of the points that really struck with me:

1. I know about the crushes because I read her journal which she keeps very close to her. I know I betrayed her trust and this a very big sticking point in our relationship, but I knew something was going one and was concerned about her. I felt this was the only way to see what might be going on in her mind as she did not want to talk about it. As of me finding this out, she has been very open about her thoughts. I have to believe she would never act on these desires as that is what she tells me firmly. I will trust her about this until proven otherwise. 

2. I also feel that crushes can be harmless, but I don't know about these. One is for a long time friend who she has not seen in over 10 years, with the exception of a recent high school reunion. She had always had feelings for this man, and never got the resolution I feel she needed. To me, it is that childhood crush that you always wonder, "what could have happened?" The other crush with her boss developed around the time her mom was diagnosed with cancer. I think this may have happened as a result of the stress, was a distraction from work, and something to look forward to when in the office. She is very embarrassed about this and says her boss has no idea, so I have to believe there is no mutual flirting.

3. I believe the pain during sex is both physical and potentially emotional. She has seen multiple specialists about it and even gone through various treatments to address the physical component including physical therapy. I cannot say whether these treatments were not addressing the root of the problem; however, no one has yet to provide a good solution. As such, we have resorted to other activities that are non-intercourse. We certainly have passionate times while we are together, but I feel as if the moment is fleeting and is sometimes forced by my wife's to appease me. As none of the physical treatments have worked, I have to think this issue may be more emotional than physical, although I really have no idea. With the mix of everything else, I am truly lost...

4. As far as I know, the therapist she is seeing is to discuss issues with her mother. I have told that if she wants to talk about our marriage in therapy, I would prefer to be present so we can tackle it together. We have also purchased and read some of the recommended books, which we both found very interesting and informative. That said, I do not feel like we are where we need to be yet. The reading will continue. 

5. We had a long conversation last night where I told her I need her to come clean with me and tell me all that is bothering her. We have set a weekend aside next month to get away to a local cabin and focus on us. I really hope this time together will allow her to open up to me and really tell me what is going on. Depending on how this conversation goes, I may suggest we see a therapist sooner rather than later as I cannot suppress these feelings and want to nip it in the bud.

This really could be a soap opera and with all the moving parts, I don't know what is related, and what is not. As someone put it, it has been devastating, but I am trying to take this as a challenge to make our marriage even stronger. Thank you all again. Please continue with the thoughts if you any more. This has been very helpful.


----------



## Relationship Teacher (Jan 3, 2016)

TheDude135 said:


> 3. I believe the pain during sex is both physical and potentially emotional. She has seen multiple specialists about it and even gone through various treatments to address the physical component including physical therapy. I cannot say whether these treatments were not addressing the root of the problem; however, no one has yet to provide a good solution. As such, we have resorted to other activities that are non-intercourse. We certainly have passionate times while we are together, but I feel as if the moment is fleeting and is sometimes forced by my wife's to appease me. As none of the physical treatments have worked, I have to think this issue may be more emotional than physical, although I really have no idea. With the mix of everything else, I am truly lost...


I have no answer as to why "she" was seeing specialists instead of "we". It is standard to include the partner to increase the benefits and prevent relapse. Additionally, a broad approach is employed to ensure low relapse rates.

We typically attack sexual dysfunction from three routes, *Psychological*, *Biological *and *Social*, with them often being determined by multiple factors. Many individuals assume there is a dysfunction when there is not one. It seems that arousal is the predominant dysfunction here. For this particular dysfunction, remediation has come from something as simple as adding lubrication to the script, as one example.


----------



## TheDude135 (Jan 20, 2017)

I wish to respect my wife's privacy for the details of her pain, but lube alone does not solve it. We have tried various types and they seem to only somewhat help. I agree arousal may be an issue and that "we" should tackle the sexual dysfunction together. I think I am trying to piece this all together, when in reality somethings may be related, and other not so much.


----------



## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

The crush over the boss is silly, I agree. Like was said previously, it's likely an attempt at feeling sexy again and having this boss of hers in the workplace is something to look forward to each day. Is her boss married? This crush is likely just about sex. Resolving the pain during intercourse issues with her should lessen this crush or make it go away, at least in my opinion.

As for the past boyfriend, that to me is a more dangerous situation. Always wondering "what-if" is normal, but constantly thinking about it is not. If this crush is consuming her, it's likely just a matter of time before she contacts this guy on Facebook or through text or email or something and they start talking. Then it gets really real. Unfortunately, I don't know what the answer to this crush is. It's not like you can tell her to just put it out of her mind. I think counseling/therapy would really help. She needs to realize the wonderful qualities she has in you and what she would be losing if she chose to throw it all away on this flight of fancy. Once she truly appreciates you again there's no way she would risk throwing it all away.


----------



## TheDude135 (Jan 20, 2017)

She is also struggling with body image (although in my mind she does not need to!) and is very driven to succeed in a male dominated industry. I agree the crush on her boss might be just about feeling sexy again and feeling control in her career. Her boss is single and only 5 years older, but I really trust her this is just a fleeting crush she hopes will go away. She told me the other night that her boss has no idea about the crush and she would be completely embarrassed if he ever found out.

With regards to her other friend, she never dated this guy but had feelings for him since she was in high school. As far as I know, he had never had a thing for her in all these years, and still does not. They had gone 5+ years without contacting each other, but the high school reunion this past fall definitely stirred up old emotions. 

I hope our weekend trip will allow her the opportunity to open up to me and have an honest conversation as I know we both love each other unconditionally and want to support each other through this tough time. As she told me last night, 2016 was the worst year of her life primarily driven by her mother who continues to fight for her life.

Once again, thank you CanadaDry. Your comments so far have been very comforting.


----------



## Relationship Teacher (Jan 3, 2016)

TheDude135 said:


> She is also struggling with body image (although in my mind she does not need to!) .


That is a huge factor, alone. A critical element will be cognitive restructuring.


----------



## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

*Re: Wife lacking passion*

Only scanned thread so this might have been said. Without arousal, a woman can feel pain because she hasn't elongated sufficiently to accommodate you. Arousal will be hampered by stress or thinking about someone else. Focus on a vibrator or something to arouse before penetration

She could also have a curve (my W does) so different positions can make a huge difference. My left leg outside but right leg inside (scissors) makes a huge difference vs missionary. Things like that


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ulyssesheart (Jan 7, 2017)

Relationship Teacher said:


> Sexual arousal is different than sexual desire.


Unfortunately, she is suffering from both----->according to OP.

A doubler, with no expectation of any near term "wham-bam". Two thick layers to peel back.To peel back, so as to reveal the "No Nookie" cause, the No Nookie clause written in small print and in female hieroglyphics.

In actuality, she does have "stated" desire, just not for the husband. This pain may or may not be physical. It could be emotional.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

From the Mayo Clinic


*Entry pain*

Pain during penetration may be associated with a range of factors, including:

Insufficient lubrication. This is often the result of not enough foreplay. Insufficient lubrication is also commonly caused by a drop in estrogen levels after menopause, after childbirth or during breast-feeding.

Certain medications are known to inhibit desire or arousal, which can decrease lubrication and make sex painful. These include antidepressants, high blood pressure medications, sedatives, antihistamines and certain birth control pills.

Injury, trauma or irritation. This includes injury or irritation from an accident, pelvic surgery, female circumcision or a cut made during childbirth to enlarge the birth canal (episiotomy).
Inflammation, infection or skin disorder. An infection in your genital area or urinary tract can cause painful intercourse. Eczema or other skin problems in your genital area also can be the problem.
Vaginismus. Involuntary spasms of the muscles of the vaginal wall (vaginismus) can make attempts at penetration very painful.
Congenital abnormality. A problem present at birth, such as the absence of a fully-formed vagina (vaginal agenesis) or development of a membrane that blocks the vaginal opening (imperforate hymen), could be the underlying cause of dyspareunia.

*Deep pain*

Deep pain usually occurs with deep penetration and may be more pronounced with certain positions. Causes include:

Certain illnesses and conditions. The list includes endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, uterine prolapse, retroverted uterus, uterine fibroids, cystitis, irritable bowel syndrome, hemorrhoids and ovarian cysts.
Surgeries or medical treatments. Scarring from pelvic surgery, including hysterectomy, can sometimes cause painful intercourse. Medical treatments for cancer, such as radiation and chemotherapy, can cause changes that make sex painful.
Emotional factors

*Emotions are deeply intertwined with sexual activity and may play a role in any type of sexual pain. *Emotional factors include:

Psychological problems. Anxiety, depression, concerns about your physical appearance, fear of intimacy or relationship problems can contribute to a low level of arousal and a resulting discomfort or pain.
Stress. Your pelvic floor muscles tend to tighten in response to stress in your life. This can contribute to pain during intercourse.
History of sexual abuse. Most women with dyspareunia don't have a history of sexual abuse, but if you have been abused, it may play a role.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell whether psychological factors are associated with dyspareunia. Initial pain can lead to fear of recurring pain, making it difficult to relax, which can lead to more pain. As with any pain in your body, you might start avoiding the activities that you associate with the pain.


----------



## MartinBeck (Jan 19, 2017)

She's not attracted to you. You only unfortunately have the standard options: 
-Leave.
-Stay and be unhappy.
-Stay and be unhappy and cheat on her to get your sexual needs met outside the marriage.
-Ask her to open the relationship so you can get your sexual needs met elsewhere with her permission.
-Or, run a self-improvement plan to make yourself a more attractive man ("run the MAP") and see if you can increase her attraction to you and see if that improves things. This may or may not work.

I highly encourage you to run a self-improvement plan and be the most attractive person you can be, to see if she responds before taking steps towards leaving her. Don't stay and continue to be unhappy and be in a relationship with a woman who is not interested in you. Be aware though that fundamentally you can only change yourself and change your interactions with her, you can't change her.


Read Athol Kay. If you've gotten lazy and overweight and complacent then focus on getting in shape, dressing better, and being more confident and assertive dealing with her outside the bedroom. 

Start with taking leadership on meals and activities. Tell her on Thursday that you've made diner reservations for Friday at that new restaurant you heard about. When she pushes back and on Friday starts complaining that her stomach isn't right, etc, and pushing back and saying she doesn't feel like going out, go without her (you don't have to go out to nice place by yourself, maybe just go see a movie by yourself or whatever) and leave her at home. 

Start back up doing the the martial art classes or the bike rides or whatever activities you used to do before you met her and early on when you were dating that you stopped doing over the course of the marriage. Invite her to join you and go without her when she says no. 

Be a leader and be confident. Do interesting things and go to interesting places and Insist that you are going to have a fun and interesting life and she's welcome to join you if she wants. 

Lift weights, cut way way down on the booze, eat healthy, and lift more weights. Get in really good shape with a focus on loosing your gut and building up muscle mass.

Remember the bedroom comes last. 

*Only* after a few months of your self-improvement program, then start focusing on sex. Start by flirting with her when you both know know timing isn't going to let it get anywhere so she is less threatened that it will lead to sexual activity. Send flirty texts. Responsive desire women need some time to warm up, so don't initiate sex when she's not expecting it - send a text in the afternoon that you're thinking of how she looked in the shower that morning , etc, to give her a heads up that it's sexy time later that day. 

Start asking for what you want and propose alternatives to PIV -"tonight I'm going to tie you up and get you off with your vibrator and then come on your tits" or whatever is interesting to you as an alternative to PIV. When you do have sexual activities, make sure you're wanting her up first with massages, foot rubs etc if she wants or asks for that, and incorporate a vibrator into your activities and ensure she frequently orgasms.

After a few months of you working extremely hard to make yourself attractive and interesting, have a conversation with her about your sexual expectations in the marriage. Tell her that you understand she has medical issues but that she needs to be aggressively working to resolve them and that you have expectations of frequent and enthusiastic sexual activities within the limitations of her medical conditions. Ask her to read "His needs her needs". The conversation is that you have reasonable expectations around frequency and activities and that she needs to up her level of effort in the marriage and start to work harder to meet your needs. State your requirements around frequency and the non-PIV activities that need to be on the table. State that you have reasonable needs and reasonable expectations that need to be met and don't back down from that.

If after several months of serious hard work of self-improvement on your part, you get nothing but pushback and resistance, and especially if there is a refusal to even have a conversation about expectations (or her breaking down and crying as an evasive move to avoid the conversation), then you have your answer and you know she is never going to be attracted to you and meet your needs. 

And of course whatever you do DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT until this is resolved to your satisfaction.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

*Re: Wife lacking passion*

Dude,
I've read your thread and a couple things jump out at me. 

1. You claim to want true transparency and yet, the way you are responding to your wife is certain to shut her down. 
2. You self describe having this deep connection but she's keeping all these secrets from you, and you are violating her privacy 
3. She has largely (maybe totally) lost her sexual desire for you 

The real issue isn't so much her desire for her boss as it is the combo of that with her lack of desire for you. 

Thing is, there isn't a 'complaint form letter' works for desire. Just strength, the real thing. That - is hot. Saying one thing and doing another is weak and turn offish. Your doing a lot of that in this thread, so likely in real life as well. 





TheDude135 said:


> My wife and I have been married for 2.5 years (together for 6), are ~30 years old, and have a very deep and meaningful relationship on many levels. We spend lots of time together and truly enjoy each other's company. We recently bought a house and both have great jobs we enjoy. Our lives are very secure and happy, but I feel as if the passion has left. My wife recently told me she loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me forever; however, she has not been feeling sexually attracted to me for some time. I know that pain during sex has been a significant problem for her over the past couple years and she has been to numerous doctors, none of which have been able to provide any insight. Sex is not enjoyable for her as it is for me. We are continuing to search for solutions to the pain as she is really upset and feels “broken.”
> 
> What concerns me is that she has also has been having intense crushes, vivid dreams, and desires for an old friend and her boss over the past six months. I am starting to think her lack of passions for me is not entirely from the pain as she continues to have desires directed elsewhere. Is it something I did/did not do? She tells me she does not want to have these crushes and you cannot control what your mind is attracted to, but I am becoming very concerned about our relationship. I have no doubt in my mind she would never act on her feelings towards these other men, but it is very difficult for me to hear this when out passion is low. We have discussed these issues to death, but I have not felt we have been able to come to a resolution where either of us feels good about it. My wife is also seeing a therapist for learning how to open about her feelings as talking about these topics does not come easily to her. From a young age, she was forced to internalize her emotions for protection due to a broken household, and truly opening up to someone else is a challenge for her. Her mother is also going through a fight with cancer which also weighs heavily on her and been a major source of stress over the past year.
> 
> I need advice and would love to hear from anyone here if you have experienced something similar. What can I do to help her? What can I do to help us? I continue to love and support her unconditionally, but I am not feeling confident in the outcome so far. Thank you all in advance!


----------



## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

*Re: Wife lacking passion*

I agree with the above poster. 
You say you have a deep and meaningful relationship but I just don't see that. So do you guys have sex at all? Are you affectionate towards one another, does she initiate physical affection? It seems she is opening up to her journal and she has a whole other side that she is keeping from you.

I hate this Luke warm sh*t. She needs to be in it to win it with you and dedicated to making the marriage happy and healthy. These crushes are stupid, everyone has crushes and fantasies about other people but it's not taken seriously. For her to actually journal about it to me means it's a bigger more important thing in her life that she isn't letting on.

No one wants to feel second best, or not good enough, or like they are settling. You makes me feel like she is settling for you and that is not ok. I feel like she is not coming clean about everything. I need more information but I am very suspicious of her. Why IC and not marriage counseling? She sounds kind of selfish.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Have the both of you solicited or ever started couples sexual therapy or marriage counseling?

Was just wondering*


----------



## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

I can't believe this she's already cheated I'm telling you right now and only came to this conclusion. She's done with you OK. She's already had an affair and still having one. I'm telling you right now.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Wow. Your wife is telling you loud and clear that she does not want/desire you, and you just are refusing to get the message. She is practically shouting it from the rooftops. Any pain she experiences with sex is because she has zero desire for you. I can almost guarantee you that if she had a chance to bang the boss she has such a crush on (or that she has ALREADY banged) that there wouldnt be one second of pain for her. 

I posted advice in your other thread about not communicating with your spouse, and that advice still stands. Except now, I think it may be too late, I think she has probably already crossed that line.


----------

