# okay i'm just going to say it.



## kitkateybug (Jun 9, 2012)

I can't have an orgasm. I've had sex with four guys in my life since age nineteen and the one orgasm I've had was with guy #2 seven or eight years ago. Husband and I have sex often enough to keep him satisfied, he enjoys it more than I do. Sometimes he feels bad he can't do for me what I do for him but the lack of bedroom skill does not make me upset. That's it now.


----------



## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

What is it that seems to prevent your next orgasm? Do you think it is in mind, i.e., too stressed or can't relax enough, or what is different about how your hubby stimulates you during sex, compared with guy #2?

What have you tried to reach it again? I believe you can get there again, but it will take some work.


----------



## kitkateybug (Jun 9, 2012)

I'm sure we both have to understand this sexy stuff more. Husband was a virgin coming into our relationship. Having sex once or twice with three other guys sure as hell didn't teach me anything. But I don't think I tried to learn. My small lack of sex drive doesn't help the problem here and neither do these books, or this growing baby bump for the rest of the year. I am glad I can still keep him happy in the bedroom though. This is mainly my annoyance, not a marriage problem.


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

IDK. I feel your pain. I only get the big "O" maybe twice a year. And that only started happening since I hit 30. Before that in my 20's....I can't think of but a few times it happened. 

I had to learn what the feeling was like when I was close. Has your husband touched you during intercourse??? Try that way if you can o from stimulation, pay attention to the feeling from within. Where does the build up come from, see if he can get you close then see if you can make it a go from there. 

Also a pillow under your butt does help. A firm pillow. Check out sex furniture. Or just but extra pillows just for sex.


----------



## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Is your husband open to vibrators? I can only O with a Hitachi Magic Wand. I wish I could O with a partner; have tried EVERYTHING for years but no such luck.


----------



## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Hitachi Magic Wand. It will do the trick.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

can you give your self an orgasm?

once you learn how to give your self one then teach him or show him how to give you one.

sounds like fun home work to me. if you make it fun and exciting its a win win for everybody.

search the web on how to give a woman a orgasm lots of info out there.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As chillymorn asked... Do you know what you need to do to make YOURSELF orgasm? Do you communicate to him what feels good? Can the two of you talk about sex openly?

What does he try, as far as helping you orgasm? Oral sex, fingers, a toy? Look for a book called "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner. It sounds like your husband would like to help, but doesn't know what to do. 

C


----------



## GinnyTonia (Jul 31, 2012)

FWIW, I come about 90% of the time I have PIV sex. However, 100% of my orgasms are from self-stimulation. The only other way is from receiving oral, but my point is that you need to work on this alone for a while, and when you accomplish it, your O's are up to you and you alone. Obviously, teaching your H how you like it is part of that. 

Here's what I suggest:
Spend an afternoon daydreaming about things you find erotic. Use your fingers (and some lube or spit) to slowly, gently caress, rub, and wiggle the different parts of your va-jay-jay. When you start to feel that good, special feeling, keep doing THAT. Don't rush and don't have ANY expectations. 

If you can do this to fruition and you give yourself an orgasm, then do it a few times more until you get the hang of it. When you do, you can start trying it while having sex with your husband. 

If you can't, (and I suggest you try at least few times before giving up), then buy the toy and proceed with the same plan. 

Good luck honey! 

P.S. pregnant O's are intense! (In a good way)


----------



## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

2 words: silver bullet


----------



## Pinkme (Oct 15, 2012)

Google Jason Julious, he has done wonders for H and I. H has found my vaginal G spot with JJ guidance. He has a host of You Tube videos and articles that you can read.


----------



## frankd (Feb 22, 2012)

My wife has never had an orgasm. I've tried to take care of her, but she always stops me and says it's okay, she doesn't need it.

I've discovered that although I care very much and I honestly tried, I really didn't know what I was doing. 
My wife will NOT discuss it, she's just too shy. 
So I resolved to learn as much theory as I could and apply it bit by bit, making careful assumptions and being extra vigilant for signals that might offer guidance. 
Joining these marriage boards has helped a lot. Look through some of the posts right here on this site. 
If you and your husband can talk openly about sex, then you're halfway there. 
Baby bump or not, you're still a sexual being and gosh darn it, it feels good!
How about starting over? Pretend you're discovering each other for the first time?


----------



## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

Pinkme said:


> Google Jason Julious, he has done wonders for H and I. H has found my vaginal G spot with JJ guidance. He has a host of You Tube videos and articles that you can read.


That guy is a beast! Jason Julius is the man, he has a thing out called the "Female Blueprint". He shows you different techniques on how to please a woman. I always wanted to learn how to make my W squirt. I know the technique but I haven't tried it out on her yet and JJ is very descriptive. He even adds like a fake so a man can see how to do everything properly. I told a friend of mine about it who was trying to do more with his GF and he said JJ has taught him so many new things. G-Spot, A-Spot, U-Spot, even how to make a woman climax out of her anus! I was like wow, thats possible? Check him out if you two are serious.


----------



## justbidingtime (Sep 25, 2012)

Simple questions not asked yet or answered.... 

Have you tried to give yourself an orgasm? 

Have you felt close to one ever?

Has he worked to try and get you there? Has he read any books?

Has he used his fingers down there????

And most important....... ORAL!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

For me, ORAL giving and receiving, are the ultimate gift you can each give each other!


----------



## Tennisbumtony (Oct 27, 2012)

I would agree that for my wife its oral and clitoris stimulation. Another one that works for us is when she is on top and I rub her clitoris. Tried that?


----------

