# The Dos and Don’ts of Parenting a Disabled Child



## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

Being a parent is never easy, but parenting a disabled child comes with a unique set of challenges. Not only do you have to provide specialized care at home, but you also need to make sure that your child’s needs are met at school and in other aspects of his life. There is no blueprint for this type of parenting, unfortunately, but here are some simple dos and don’ts to get you started. 

*1. DO Take Advantage of Helpful Resources*

If you are the parent of a disabled child, know that you are not alone – about 1 in 5 Americans has a disability. As a parent, it is always your priority to make sure that your child’s needs are met but, in order to be able to do that, sometimes you need a little bit of help. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family members and consider joining a support group for parents of disabled children so you can at least talk to some people who have shared experiences. 

*2. DON’T Assume Your Child is Like Other Children* 

Disability aside, every child is unique when it comes to things like personality, learning style, and interests. In order to help your child as much as you can, you need to know and understand him – this means spending as much time together as possible and trying different things to see what works and what doesn’t. You should also encourage your child to spend time with other children who have disabilities, so he can make a connection with children who are like him.

*3. DO Work with Your Child’s School *

Whether your child is attending a regular school or a school for students with special needs, you’ll need to work closely with the principal, his teachers, and the rest of his support team to make sure his needs are met. Depending what kind of disability your child has, he may need additional assistance completing school work or simply getting around the school. Making sure that your child has the resources and help he needs to be successful in school is very important. 

*4. DON’T Forget to Talk to Your Child*

While it is often true that “parents know best,” there will certainly be times when your child knows himself and his own needs better than you do. Up to a certain age, your child will be dependent on you to make sure that his needs are met, but as he gets older those needs are going to change and your child will be able to articulate them himself. In the midst of making arrangements with your child’s school, be sure to include your child in the conversation so he feels more in control of his own education and his own life. 

*5. DO Make Your Child Feel Loved and Accepted*

As difficult as it may be to parent a child who has a disability, it is that much harder for your child who actually has to live with the disability. Every parent loves their children, but it is especially important for you to make sure that your child feels loved and accepted. Being disabled can be frustrating and there will be times when your child gets down on himself. During those times, you should be there to help your child see what makes him special and different from other children in a good way. 

Unfortunately, there is no handbook that teaches you how to be a loving and effective parent to a disabled child – every situation is unique. The best thing you can do is be an advocate for your child and, once he is old enough, include him in decisions that affect his life. Best of luck!

~ VS Glen, Community Support


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