# need some advice



## lost n confused (May 4, 2010)

my husband and i have been married for almost 3 years and together for about 7 years he is really into sports and plays ball alot he works late 2 days a week and plays ball 2 times as well as alot of weekends we have a 4 year old son and i feel he needs to spend more time with us. i finally got so fed up i left for one night to calm down and try to get him to wake up well i guess that was the wrong thing to do he is mad i left but i felt it better to get away for a night he now says he doesnt know if he wants to try to make it work because alot of damage has been done and we have both been unhappy for a long time. i feel like i shouldnt have to wait for him to think about if he wants to be with me my thinking is if he need time to think about it he wont ever want to we had a long discussion and decided to try to both change and be honest, that same night he fell asleep on the couch "on accident" when i woke him he yelled and then went right back to sleeping. should i just give up or let him have more time, i dont want to wait to long and let him think he can do what he wants and i will be waiting.


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## NoNameGiven (May 9, 2010)

I read in a forum something that might be helpful to you...I hope I can remember how to state it. Men are so different from women because women would rather know now and men need time to contemplate decisions. I know it is hard to wait and he should know, but this is a life altering decision that needs time. Be patient and try to sit down and talk. Someone told me that my husband and I need to sit down and have a "good" talk not one that will end up with us blaming each other but one that will help set perimeters and expectations of each other. Put aside anger and try to figure out why you are not getting along.

It sounds like he has an outlet. Do you? You should set aside as much time for yourself as he sets aside for himself. If he is busy for four days a week then give him your son for at least one day and you go out and do something away from them. This will give him time with his son and you time to focus on you. 
Also, can you and your son go to his games as a family thing. It might take a large amount of effort by you but at least you would have family time.

I hope this helps a little.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Go to Help for Men, Mentor for Men, Men's Groups, Relationship Advice, Life Coach and buy the book there called Hold Onto Your N.U.T.S. It's an easy read. Read it together. It will explain to your husband (and you) how he CAN have his fun but still be a responsible husband and father, and thus get everything he wants in life. It's an awesome book, very cheap, quick read. Well worth it.

You might also turn him onto that website.


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