# When did you stop thinking about the future



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

So I'm just wondering for people who have been down this road, how long into the divorce process did it take you to stop thinking about the future in terms of what if? Wondering what it will be like when you run into your ex with another man, thinking about your ex having sex with another man, things like that?
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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hm... I never had any of those thoughts through my divorce. By the time I filed it was so over. I had found out about his years of cheating with many women. I just stopped thinking about him.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

it's tought because she gave me the whole "I love you not in love with you line", said their was no one else. Then she said that she is talking with this other guy as just friends, he went through a divorce, yada yada. His kids are the same age as our kids, etc. Well she doesn't know that I discovered evidence of an EA, it might have even progressed to a PA. I'm doing the 180, only contact me with regards to the kids, divorce, finances, etc. I think it's working because she is trying to live in both worlds, she still tries to talk to me like we are husband/wife. I told her this morning no more doing that. She sees me pulling away and it scares her. She is trying to test me to see if I will come back to her, but I'm not. But the crappy thing is I still think about what does this guy she is talking to have that I don't. Why did she do this? All that stuff.
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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What he has is that he is new.. new is exciting. Plus he does not have to fill all of the husband duties like you do. So he only has to meet a few of her needs to make her feel drunk on happy. As the pressure of real life settlings on the affair, it will most likely end. Think about that. When each of them are faced with having to fill all of the other's needs they will fail. It's almost 100% that the affair will end, sooner than later.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

i guess it just pisses me off because this guy has been down the divorce path himself with two kids, so you would think maybe he would at least be hands off. My wife said that she loves so much, that it hurts her that she is hurting me, all that other BS that I wanted to believe at first. Yeah right, if you loved me you would've gone to marriage counseling to figure this out with me. If you didn't want to hurt me you would at least wait until we are divorced before you started this affair. I guess I'm just pining for the life I had, being able to see my kids all the time, things like that.
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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Oh it sucks.. big time.


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