# I made a big mistake.....



## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

An hour after we left the courthouse after our divorce hearing this past Tuesday, I stupidly texted my STBXW that I still love her. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I sent it, but of course I can't un-do it.

I had been doing so well with NC, I was stoic during the hearing, and then got emotional and texted her. I guess not much else to do but not repeat the same mistake and keep NC. 

I hate that she now probably thinks she has control over me. I love her, but that doesn't mean that I can or want to R. I will never ask for it, and if she ever does, I honestly doubt that I could do it. 

She's been telling me over the past several weeks that she made a mistake leaving me and still loves me, and I guess I allowed that to mess with me.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Man, you're only human.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_Man, you're only human._


It sucks being human sometimes. So much work, thanks for the kind words.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If she responds or brings it up, you follow up with ", but I'm not changing my mind about moving on"


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> If she responds or brings it up, you follow up with ", but I'm not changing my mind about moving on"


Please don't beat yourself up it was an emotional day for you.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> An hour after we left the courthouse after our divorce hearing this past Tuesday, I stupidly texted my STBXW that I still love her. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I sent it, but of course I can't un-do it.
> 
> I had been doing so well with NC, I was stoic during the hearing, and then got emotional and texted her. I guess not much else to do but not repeat the same mistake and keep NC.
> 
> ...


I dont think it was a mistake. It was an expression of your heart! She has to know that deep down you love her. Loving her in some way will always be there since you have a child together. Loving her and wanting to be back in the misery you were in, another story. If she ever mentions it, which I doubt she will just tell her that what your heart felt at the moment but once you thought about it your heart decided it didnt want to go back to the hell it was in before.

Dont beat yourself up over it!!  BTW, I was just thinking about you today and wondering if you had been to court yet.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Hey, you're human. You will always love who she WAS. You simply expressed your emotions. If you ever have conversations via text, try this "I loveD you"


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## remorseful strayer (Nov 13, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> An hour after we left the courthouse after our divorce hearing this past Tuesday, I stupidly texted my STBXW that I still love her. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I sent it, but of course I can't un-do it.
> 
> I had been doing so well with NC, I was stoic during the hearing, and then got emotional and texted her. I guess not much else to do but not repeat the same mistake and keep NC.
> 
> ...


She already knows you love her. That does not mean you are willing to put up with a toxic relationship with her, unless she makes some very real changes. And maybe even not if she does change.

I don't think it makes you look weak. So you admitted that you love her. It may even make her feel terrible.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Main
*YOU* didn't make a mistake. Not at all. 

*SHE* did.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Thanks everyone. Your comments lifted my spirits on a day that I'm struggling a bit.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Proverbs 14:1


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_Proverbs 14:1_


My stbxw is as far from wise as one can get. The temptation is to quote it too her, but what's the point?


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

i understand 600%


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

I wouldn’t worry about the text, I’ve done worse.

As long as you just let it go you are ok, hell you probably screwed with her head some since you left her hanging from it (she is probably thinking you will pursue her now and wonder why you are still quiet).

If she ever asked about it, ignore her or tell her it was a mistake. No biggie.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You did not want the divorce, did you? You still love your wife?

So... why should she not know that?

Why should she not know that she hurt the man who loved her and who still loves her?

*You made no mistake. none whatsoever!*


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