# Seeing my Daughter after 2 years (help)



## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

My daughter and I were best buddies. Nothing was tighter in my life. When my wife left me 2.5 years ago, she brainwashed my daughter, telling her horror stories about me so my daughter didnt want anything to do with me until now.
She invited me to a play and we just held each other for 30minutes after. Her birthday is next month and we are planning on doing something next week but Im scared to death. I dont know what to say or do. Before she left, we still snuggled and watched movies. 
I want so much to buy her things bc I loved spoiling her but Im sure if I do now it will come off as buying HER.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How old is she?

C


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## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

17 next month


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

Rep, 

My daughter is younger so take this with a grain of salt (but I do teach your daughter's age students so I know a lot of them and some issues they have gone through). Your daughter would absolutely love it if she gets a chance to learn about you and more important, for you to take the time to ask questions and learn about her. She doesn't want things.....She wants to know that her dad loves her and cares about her and is interested in what she does, thinks, and feels. 

Worst mistake you can make with kids that age is to try to tell them what to do. Listen and ask what she thinks she should do and the rest will take care of itself. 

I wish you luck. I bet you are as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs but you just have to be yourself. Your daughter will begin forming her own opinions on what happened. Let that take its course.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I had a lunch last year with a nephew of mine who is 17. I'm 63.

I've only seen him a few times in his life so it's not like we are close. But I was in his town taking care of his dad who had just had surgery. So since I was there I wanted to spend some time with my nephew. I guess he thought he was going to have a really boring time. He tried so hard to get out of that lunch but I sort of made him go. 


What I did was to ask him about himself. What he's been up to. He was already in college so I asked about his schooling, his ambitions, etc. A one hour lunch turned into two hours.

Aftwards he kept telling every one what a good time he had.. he was surprised I think.

I think that right now the key with your daughter is similar... talk to her about what she's been doing and what she wants to do. If there is something you can help her with offer to help. Find out who she has grown into and catch up on all you have missed over the last few years. She will think you are brilliant and know that you love her.

Focus on her and you will no longer be nervous.

On the topic of buying her things. Find out what she needs. Is she still in high school? Maybe offer to take her shopping for a couple of spring/summer outfits. 

If she's heading off to college in the fall... offer to get her somethings for her dorm room (if she'll be in a dorm)


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