# Hypothetical Standpoint- The Physiological and Psychological Differences in Sex



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Strictly from a hypothetical standpoint, and in your estimation, what would be the driving primary differences in consensual sex, from both a physiological as well as a psychological standpoint between say, (1) a loving married sexually fulfilled couple, (2) a sexually unfulfilled married couple and (3) a couple that is engaged in an adulterous relationship?

I know that this has the potential to get pretty deep, but the debate could certainly get lively.

*


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I would say in case 2 either one or both partners erects a wall to shut out his/her spouse from the standpoint of intimacy. Even in this case there can be differences between couples with sexually unfulfilled lives that can range from feeling zero attraction to your spouse to feeling tons of attraction BUT... some emotional/mental/psychological hang up prevents you from giving yourself over completely to your partner.

The variations upon the cases among the 3 situations you outline can be innumerable to the point that I don't believe there would be a universal explanation to describe them all effectively IMHO.

But I will say that all 3 do converge upon the single most important sexual organ we all possess - the mind. Our minds are what dictate how fulfilling or unfulfilling our sexual relationships can be for many many cases. The common idea about why taboo sex is so hot is because it's TABOO. People get off on the risque, naughty, etc. I think what makes it hot for the mind is that you know that someone is making a conscious decision to have sex with YOU after reviewing the consequences, and you feel excited because this person chooses YOU. But this feeling of being taboo, naughty, and "wrong" can occur easily enough between happily married couples or married couples engaging in trysts with other people. 

It all depends on how well your spouse or affair partner reaches your mind.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

According to the women on that old cool's site, affair sex is the winner hands down. I can see how that would be, because of the anticipation factor, the sneaking around, the delayed gratification.

That's how romantic courtly love got started anyway: young knights sneaking around the castle trying to get inside their lord's old lady.


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## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *Strictly from a hypothetical standpoint, and in your estimation, what would be the driving primary differences in consensual sex, from both a physiological as well as a psychological standpoint between say, (1) a loving married sexually fulfilled couple, (2) a sexually unfulfilled married couple and (3) a couple that is engaged in an adulterous relationship?
> 
> I know that this has the potential to get pretty deep, but the debate could certainly get lively.
> 
> *


I don't understand the question.

T


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> According to the women on that old cool's site, affair sex is the winner hands down. I can see how that would be, because of the anticipation factor, the sneaking around, the delayed gratification.


:iagree:

That DC site was definitely very educational, and gave us a window into the thought processes of cheaters and their affair sex.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Tony55 said:


> I don't understand the question.
> 
> T


I think the question is about the differences between


Regular married sex
Sexless marriage (or rare, infrequent duty sex)
Affair sex

By many accounts, and I'm referencing the DC site, Affair Sex is the hottest because of the factors Machiavelli cited, namely, the sneaking around, the anticipation (sexting, texting, emailing, phone calls), the effort to hide the A from their spouses, etc. The affair itself makes affair sex so intense. Then when the A is out in the open and one or the other APs leave their spouse to be with their AP, it becomes regular married sex because the affair factor is gone.

There's also sh!tty, boring, duty sex. It just plain sucks. But some would rather have that once in a blue moon duty sex to none at all.


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## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> I think the question is about the differences between
> 
> 
> Regular married sex
> ...


Oh that's easy:


A loving married sexually fulfilled couple = *good wine*
A sexually unfulfilled married couple = *bad wine*
A couple that is engaged in an adulterous relationship = *crack*

T


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Tony55 said:


> Oh that's easy:
> 
> 
> A loving married sexually fulfilled couple = *good wine*
> ...


Good analogy.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Tony55 said:


> Oh that's easy:
> 
> 
> A loving married sexually fulfilled couple = *good wine*
> ...


:iagree:


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> (1) *a loving married sexually fulfilled couple, (2) a sexually unfulfilled married couple and (3) a couple that is engaged in an adulterous relationship?
> *


 1- Contentment
2- Resentment
3- Excitement


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Tony55 said:


> Oh that's easy:
> 
> 
> A loving married sexually fulfilled couple = *good wine*
> ...


Tony wins the thread.


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