# Trying to make sense of it all



## Hurt Wife (Jun 2, 2012)

I'm new to posting, its not something I've done before but I find myself in needing of some advice other than the usual things you get from family and friends who don't really understand how you are feeling.

My husband has decided he doesn't want to be here, hes said he thinks it is over but doesn't know what he wants. He has said he doesn't want a divorce but us being together isn't working. For months we have been arguing and bickering and a void has developed between us. He says I've changed since I was hit by a car 4 years ago just days after we were married and I don't disagree with this. I did, I became very self consious and didn't want him to touch me because I hated the way I look as I was left with quite a bit of scarring and also put on weight because I was unable to exercise. However he stopped talking to me and trying to help me around the begining of the year. I guess I pushed him away. However I now find out he has been texting a girl over 50 times a day for the last 5 month and recently been over at hers when he said he was with male friends. He had her number under a male friends and also said he was texting friends. I did some diging behind his back as he wouldn't fess up and found out it was a girl. He now says nothing physical has happened between them but I don't know what to believe. I guess I can't decided if this has been my fault.

I am also trying to figure out where I go from here as was have a 5 year old boy, and I feel we need to stay friend on some level for him but I am so torn. I wan't him to go but I also want him here as I still Love him deeply. I also need him to help with childcare so I can contiue to work in order to support my son, which he says he will do. We can still talk and I am trying to stay strong, although I live in the hope he will come back to me, am I just living in a fantasy world? 

He says he just wants to be on his own right now. He won't say its permanent and I am not fully sure I understand where I stand. This has all happend in the last 2 weeks so its all still new and fresh. Any help or advice on which way I should go would be a godsend right now as I feel completly lost.


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