# Three kinds of men. Only one type will have a long term, successful marriage



## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

There are three kinds of men

1. Those that meet only the companionship needs of women 
2. Those that meet only the primal needs of women
3. Those that meet both 

#1 Will ultimately bore his wife all the way to divorce court 
#2 Will ultimately neglect his wife all the way to divorce court
#3 Will have a long successful marriage unless ...

He or his wife has unresolved issues having little to do with the marriage such as substance abuse, mental illness, intolerable eccentricities or weak morals

Reading thru largely repetitious posts about a busted relationship, its rather easy to pin point either 1 or 2 or both is now missing. Then its a matter of recommending the well known solutions for one or the other.

Then the unresolved issues throw in a monkey wrench to the well worn plan to fix 1 or 2 or both. 

Enjoy


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I think it's a constant work-in-progress to find that happy balance.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

From my perspective that is actually a very concise and accurate summary. I definitely relate to #1 - hey whatdyaknow I'm #1 for once!


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## stayathomemomandwife (Jul 25, 2011)

I've had the complete package before so I know it exists and how wonderful it is. However, that's not who I'm with. Now... to accept? try to change? get out? hmmm.....


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

stayathomemomandwife said:


> I've had the complete package before so I know it exists and how wonderful it is. However, that's not who I'm with. Now... to accept? try to change? get out? hmmm.....


Time for growth. Time to reevaluate. Time to improve. Time to accept Life and decide if it's what you want.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

YupItsMe said:


> There are three kinds of men
> 
> 1. Those that meet only the companionship needs of women
> 2. Those that meet only the primal needs of women
> ...


Exactly. If you are a man and your marriage is busted its 1 or 2 unless your wife is nuts. 

Figure it out and get busy fixing it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Nonsense and balderdash. My wife I know essentially doesn't like me in any way. Would she ever divorce me? Never. Not in a million years. Why? 1) that would require to own a problem and do something about it. 2) it would reduce enormously the things that make her miserable.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Nonsense and balderdash. My wife I know essentially doesn't like me in any way. Would she ever divorce me? Never. Not in a million years. Why? 1) that would require to own a problem and do something about it. 2) it would reduce enormously the things that make her miserable.


Hence the exceptions and qualifiers you failed to take to heart


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

But to Runs point, there are also different types of women.

Men don't exist in a vacuum.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Hmmm...seems like once again, it is up to the MAN to make the marriage work and do the heavy lifting. Once again, if the wife is unhappy or leaves, it is all the MAN's fault.


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## Triumph (Oct 8, 2011)

Deffinately a Type 2 kinda guy.

If my wife had a penis, Id say she was a Type 1 guy.

That equals 3, right?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

It's an oversimplication, and by doing that you don't get to real understanding
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wheels65 (Jul 17, 2011)

You can't simply lump all people/men/women/marriages into 3 categories...that's illogical and not all people have the same needs or degrees of needs.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> But to Runs point, there are also different types of women.
> 
> Men don't exist in a vacuum.


If you dont meet the companionship and primal needs of whatever type of woman you are in a relationship with, your relationship will noticeably diminish over time to reflect the missing need. 

The stated premise is not effected by the type of woman that is not having her needs met unless she meets one of the disaqualifiers mentioned by the OP.

If you fail as a man to meet one of those two needs its not going to last regardless of the type of woman you are with.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

F-102 said:


> Hmmm...seems like once again, it is up to the MAN to make the marriage work and do the heavy lifting. Once again, if the wife is unhappy or leaves, it is all the MAN's fault.


No you are reading your baggage into the view expressed. 

It is the mans fault if he does not meet the companionship or primal needs of his wife. If he does, it can work over the long haul. If not, it cant.

That is not to say its a mans fault always. It is only to say it is a mans fault if he fails in those two ways. Women need both or their interest will fade over time. 

This is not a discussion about what is required of a woman. Thats a different topic.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

Wheels65 said:


> You can't simply lump all people/men/women/marriages into 3 categories...that's illogical and not all people have the same needs or degrees of needs.


First, the OP offered several exceptions in the case of mental illness for example. 

Secondly, where is the claim there are not different types of need and degrees of needs? Yes agreed and like the OP says, if you dont meet them regardless of what they are and their degree, youre toast over time. 

Here are three all inclusive categories to disprove your point that it is illogical to group all blankety blanks into three categories

1. Married with young children
2. Married with grown childrren 
3. Married with no children

There are no other groups you could add. That covers all the possibilities. 

Who is being illogical?


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> It's an oversimplication, and by doing that you don't get to real understanding
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


With complexity we have understanding and with simplification we have confusion?

Ever taken Myers Briggs test? That right there is the difference between a Sensor and an Intuitor. 

Its fascinating to say the least understanding would be rejected because its too simple. It must be complex to be valid why?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I don't want to come across like a nutcase but I'm not convinced my wife has any need of companionship or 'primal' needs either. I know I don't or nearly don't.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

How many types of women are there?

Hoping a man answers - otherwise - all remaining space on this board may get used up.

Don't many women settle for a type 1 or type 2?

I think its great that such a few people have figured all these secrets out. I just feel sorry for the 3 billion (or whatever) remaining people on this planet who are still in the dark...


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## LuvMyH (Nov 11, 2009)

What is the definition of a "successful" relationship? I think it's subjective. Some last a lifetime but outsiders might not consider them "successful". I think any of these three types of men are capable of having a " successful" relationship with a woman who is compatible with that type of man.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

LuvMyH said:


> What is the definition of a "successful" relationship? I think it's subjective. Some last a lifetime but outsiders might not consider them "successful". I think any of these three types of men are capable of having a " successful" relationship with a woman who is compatible with that type of man.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Talk about starting with the basics. 

Definition of a successful marriage: A marriage where both spouses are fully loved, fulfilled, satisfied, happy, wish and expect to continue and can not and do not imagine life with out their spouse.

If you think a man that does not meet his wifes needs can have a long term successful marriage I can not take you seriously.

Compatitble with someone that doesnt meet your needs? Good grief. This is getting sad. It defies common sense. That would be the opposite of the dictionary meaning of compatible dont you think?


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

NoIssues said:


> Talk about starting with the basics.
> 
> Definition of a successful marriage: A marriage where both spouses are fully loved, fulfilled, satisfied, happy, wish and expect to continue and can not and do not imagine life with out their spouse.
> 
> ...


What percent of the time does it have to meet these requirements? No marriage is happy ALL the time.

Most people at SOME POINT imagine a life without their spouse. Most will daydream at some point about how the grass "may" be greener. How many daydreams per week to keep is in the "happy" range?


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## LuvMyH (Nov 11, 2009)

What I am saying is that not all women expect all of their needs to be fulfilled by their partner. Some may place much greater emphasis on one or the other and be happy with that need being met. To me, the thought of requiring your spouse to fulfill all of your needs reeks of entitlement. To others, entitlement isn't a bad word and they would settle for nothing less. To each, their own. 

I am close to the middle child of a large family. I don't require everything going my way in order to be happy. I adapt easily. My husband was an only child and is more high maintenance, in that sense. For the most part, we balance each other out. There are all kinds of factors that affect our relationships. I just think that this notion of expecting your spouse to meet all of your needs is the cause of alot of divorces. I pick what's important to me and work on that. I don't sweat stuff that isn't a priority to me. 

Some women are perfectly happy with companionship and don't give a second thought to lust. Some are the opposite. Some have needs that aren't related to either of those. Many still have life long happy relationships. And yes, I think you can be compatible with someone even if they don't meet all of your needs. It's just my opinion and you don't have to agree with it, but I will still take you seriously because I know you're entitled to your opinion and I'm pretty open minded. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

I don't believe that you can narrow a man or woman down to three things. But If I had to.

women.

1. Overly selfish. Walk all over their husband.

2. Overly giving. Get walked all over by their husband.

3. Balanced. Know how to give and take equally. Know how to give and recieve love equally.

When woman #3 is with man #3, they will have a long happy marriage.

assuming the addictions are not clouding the marriage?

Respecfully,

RDJ


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

RDJ said:


> I don't believe that you can narrow a man or woman down to three things. But If I had to.
> 
> women.
> 
> ...


Looks good to me.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

LuvMyH said:


> What I am saying is that not all women expect all of their needs to be fulfilled by their partner.
> 
> _*Who said anything about ALL? No one.*_
> 
> ...


Uh huh


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

YupItsMe said:


> There are three kinds of men
> 
> 1. Those that meet only the companionship needs of women
> 2. Those that meet only the primal needs of women
> ...



This could be said in reverse. Men have both those needs also. So whats the point of thread? These needs also change over time without warning to the other spouse. Could it be that both parties need to realize that an LTR is work and will die if not continually focused on by both parties? The most successful marriages have mutual respect and the desire to make your partner happy and comfortable in the relationship.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

Kobo said:


> Could it be that both parties need to realize that an LTR is work and will die if not continually focused on by both parties? The most successful marriages have mutual respect and the desire to make your partner happy and comfortable in the relationship.


Agreed. :smthumbup: 

It seems to me most nondysfunctional adults can get along fine in marriage for a few years, perhaps three, then the little irritants start to get some real footing but they dont do any real damage for a few more years. 

At about the five year mark all the little annoyance residue better have a mechanism to get itself flushed out or frustration starts getting built up to an unmanageable level. 

It also seems the patience starts to run real lean after several years of not getting the needed amount and type of passion and companionship. 

There seems to be a critical mass of resentment and frustration which can not be tolerated. Everyone has their own unique amount of neglect they can tolerate. If it comes to that before a resolution gets worked out, the marriage is over. Its too late. 

Barring the critical mass being reach and dysfunctional behavior, a turnaround is achievable and the methods rather well known. Its either the critical mass of frustration and resentment or the dysfunction that seems to kill the possibility of saving a marriage.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

F-102 said:


> Hmmm...seems like once again, it is up to the MAN to make the marriage work and do the heavy lifting. Once again, if the wife is unhappy or leaves, it is all the MAN's fault.


Yep, that's the way it is and always has been, and I am finally beginning to accept that.


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## Smiley90 (Sep 13, 2011)

People are complex beings & when you put 2 of us together that only makes things more complex! Every person has their own individual needs, desires, & personalities. Each person also experiences a variety of situations in different environments & adjust so in a way they see fit. So that in turn, makes it extremely hard to say he/she fits in a specific category. It all depends on a numerous amount of factors. However, I do believe that a couple experiencing a problem(s) can break it down & at the bottom they will find a simple category they can place the problem in, not the person in. * A man/woman who meets the companionship needs of their partner is also meeting the primal needs of their partner*. Not vice versa. Personally speaking, at one time or another my husband has been the type 1,type 2, and type 3. Hell, type 4,5,6,7 & so on..but it's only at times, not permanently & because of that we are still together. & In his defense, I'm sure I've been a few of those "types" at times.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Lon said:


> hey whatdyaknow I'm #1 for once!


:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:


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## Wheels65 (Jul 17, 2011)

NoIssues said:


> First, the OP offered several exceptions in the case of mental illness for example.
> 
> Secondly, where is the claim there are not different types of need and degrees of needs? Yes agreed and like the OP says, if you dont meet them regardless of what they are and their degree, youre toast over time.
> 
> ...


That list can be expanded without doubt, I'm not a fan of absolutes but am of different perspectives and dynamics...not to thread jack or be a jerk...but 

Married with pending adoptive children
Married with deceased children
Married with emancipated children


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

SO WHAT ABOUT THE ADDICTION COMPONENT? I'm hearing from some men here that women need this, they need that, it's up to the man to provide whatever ...

I am a woman who was married to an alcoholic. If I had given any more or any longer, I would have been in the psycho ward for codependents. His contribution? Zip. Zilch. Nada. Oh, yeah, he wanted LOTS of sex. Semi-sober sex, drunken sex, vidoetaped sex, online porn sex ... blah, blah, blah.

I expected a basic good guy who enjoyed some of the same things I did. And our sex life was HOT. Until the booze took away the man I met. Red flags? Yeah, a few. But very, very few.

Then the day after the wedding, I looked at this man and thought, "WTF??? WHO IS THIS PERSON?!?" And that was after almost two years of dating - just being friends - with no hint that I married a pit which no amount of alcohol could fill.

So what about those of us who stumble into a marriage with someone who goes down a into seemingly endless bottom of addiction, abuse, or mental illness?

Sorry for the rant.


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## jzzzzzzz (Nov 5, 2011)

YupItsMe said:


> There are three kinds of men
> 
> 1. Those that meet only the companionship needs of women
> 2. Those that meet only the primal needs of women
> ...


I DISAGREE. its crazy but there are infinite types of men with different motives when it comes to infinite types women. and relationships.

get a good guy and If you waste his time too much he will want to get away from you. all Men like to see progress. If he works hard and makes alot of money dont get jealous but brag to everyone how successful he his. Boost his self worth and he will feel too good for other girls.

Never blame him for catching others Attention. And by all means cook for him and his friends like a master chef. This adds tremendous value to you as most women no longer run a kitchen unless they are 90 years old from when girls could do home economics stuff. 

Shop without him go with a gay guy or normal girl... no man wants to see you buying things that he thinks you do not need. And this will give him time to work on his own projects. And he will have the needed "i miss you time"

Some routine weekly dinners out are good. Or things he can depend on doing fun with you. Some like church. And others like a movie. but dont try and overkill this idea.


If he is still a gross cheating DF post a review on Partner Facts and get a better guy.


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