# Am I overreacting????



## WantstobeHappy (Jan 26, 2009)

My BF and I have been together for 6 yrs. I have 2 boys one of which is special needs. He is not the biological father but has been a father figure to my boys. We have always had bumps in our relationship. There was always a fight about something, but we managed to stay together this long. The fights in the beginning were about him going out to the bars with his friends. Every time that he went out "with the guys" I would end up hearing a story about my BF trying to attract girls to their table "for his friends". He has taken trips to Mexico with his buddies and again stories would come up and entail him swimming in the ocean in his undies with his friends and girls they met down there. He could've gone back to his room but instead wanted to interact with the women. My BF has also disrespected me with strippers at bachelor's parties, and his justification would be "but it was a bachelor party". He no longer does these things, but it has created the insecure person that I am today. During our 6 year venture when we would fight heavily he would say "its over, I'm done" and pack a back and leave for a few days or even a week. When the anger was gone he would come back home. Of course I let him because I loved him and couldn't fathom the thought of my life w/out him in it. After he would come home I would ask about him going out, and talking to other girls or even being intimate with one and the answer was always the same. NO. He did tell me that when he gets mad like that and needs time away to calm down, that if I had done anything with another male in the time that we were apart, he doesn't think he could come back. So of course I then ask him "why do u say it's over then?" It has happened a few times, about 2 yr ago when it happened, I checked his email. (I know bad idea) well my advice don't go searching for something unless u are prepared for what u might find. I found emails to a craigslist ad for personal erotic ads. He had propositioned a couple girls for company, sex and anything that would get him over me. I was devastated. My own fault for checking up on him but still devastated. Okay onto my current situation. 3 weeks ago, my bubble finally burst, I was under so much stress due to my son being sick, other family drama, and just a general all around mad at the world attitude. Instead of turning to my BF I turned on him. I was yelling at him all the time and our little arguments turned into big arguments. He got fed up and again said "i'm done" and packed a bag and left. We worked thru our problems, I went to his work apologized cuz I knew I had messsed up by the way that I was talking to him. But I did also tell him that he needed to try and talk to me and not leave like that. Well he was gone for a week and then came home and we have been great ever since.He has been home for a week and a half. Well yesterday, his phone rang and he answered it and when he figured out who it was he started laughing on the phone. He laughs when he is uncomfortable. The laugh isn't normal. He was sitting right next to me and I heard a "yeah" and "no" and then he said "hello" and then hung up. No bye or yeah I will talk to u later. I was curious and he got really quiet and refused to tell me who was on the phone. I did push, normally I wouldn't even ask. Finally he told me it was some "chick". When I pushed further, I got the story. I guess on one of the nights that he was not home he went to the movies, and when he came out there was a note on his car that read "I think your cute, call me". He said that he didn't want to call, because he was missing me. But the very next day he called her. They talked for about a half hour and then hung up. 2 days later I went to his work to apologized to him for what I had done. He told me that actions speak louder than words, and he looked really sad as I drove away. Well now I find out that he texted her that night and asked her out for coffee. He is seeing a therapist and that the DR told him that he had nothing to lose to go out just for coffee, but that he shouldn't go out on a date, cuz he wasn't ready for that. Well they never made it to coffee cuz she couldn't make it. But then she asked him to a movie on the weekend, but he had plans and couldn't go. Well when I went to his work again to fight for him, I convinced him to come home. He said he deleted her number out of him phone after he texted her with we were getting back together and that he couldn't talk to her anymore. She told him "good luck and I wish u well" Well my question is if she did in fact say that then why is she calling. Also I feel very hurt and betrayed by this. I told him that I understand he can't stop her from calling, but that fact that he called her in the first place. And that he even asked her out for coffee....If he was so hurt and missing me, then why is he asking another woman out? He said it wasn't like that and I'm making more out of it than it really was. Also, when he came home we had the most amazing sex, it was great. 2 days later I ended up with a UTI. At first I didn't think anything of it. Now I don't know. I specifically asked him about other girls when he came home and he said no. I feel that he lied to me. He said he didn't tell me because it was none of my busn and that it wasn't a big deal. Any advice is appreciated, I know this is long but I had to give you some sort of history.....


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