# Problems with Interfaith marriage need advise



## marriedinchrist

I have been married for 11 years now and my hubby family is Jehovah Witness where I am not I am a Christian just not a Jehovah Witness. Well, since I became married his family has been trying to get me to convert to the JW faith with no sucess. My sister in law has made the attempt to dictate to me on my wedding day not to get married in my own house, she has made comments over the past 11 years on several occassion about my faith, and my mother in law has even joined in with the rest of the family, so I feel like the family joke whenever they are all together in the same room. Now I know that often times my husband has been present when these things has taken place and I have often heard his mother over the phone with him trying to convince him to not attend church with us and to lealve the church and go back to the Kingdom Hall (the JW church) so that he dosnt get disfellowship where he will loose contact with his JW family. Well, over the years she has became ill and cannot continue to practice in her JW faith due to the fact she must adhere to certain laws like no blood transfusions, and she has to do dialysis in which they consider a blood transfusion, she also has to attend a certain amount of meetings and go to certain amount of door to door recruiting others into the JW and of course she cant due to her illness, no one from the JW has come to see her and none of them will help her. She has a sister who still attends but upon bringing here a few years back her own sister and daughter sat her in the back of the hall and acted as if they were ashamed of her even being there. Now they have been calling my spouse over the past 5 years to convince him to come to live with them to take care of her, never mind the fact he has a family :scratchhead: he was told to bring us too. Now we relocated 7 to 8 hours away, and he would drag us out to them every weekend, we lost the roof over our head and for the past 3 years I got maybe 4 hours of sleep over the weekend traveling back and forth, each time they have never called on my husband sister to do anything she would come to visit maybe 1 or 2 a year and not lift a finger to help, when I was traveling back and forth, there was comments that I dont help my husband, that I am not worth anything, and when I would go to church they would laugh in my face and look for my husband to stay there with them. For 3 of these years my husband would never attend church with his family in front of his mother only when she wasnt present. Now I was not happy in the place we were at, and I wanted to relocated to get a better start for all of us, no place would due it was always an excuse, I can find work in this place I dont know if that job transfer will due, I was in school and needed to move to have a better chance of getting into nursing school. So I said to him what about the state your mom and dad is in, and of course no problem he agreeded. So, we pack our things and moved there, on the way down, he asked his dad for 60 bucks, and in front of my face while I was sitting there his dad said to him your wife dont help you you need to go see her. I did not response and neither did he. We then came there and ended up staying with them, my husband was on FMLA with his job and I was in school, receiving financial aid, and I tell you it was a nightmare, his dad would have us get up at 5.00 am to work around the house. It was like living with a drill sgt, to the point were I was kicked out my classes and could not get anything done nor could my husband find work, we were personal slaves. I talked to my husband about it and he would not stand up to them, so I found a way to pack my things and I lefted, I took my daughter and myself and I told him he could come or stay if he wanted to, needless to say he came. One year later it took us 3 months of living in hotels and sleeping with strangers to get on our feet and low and behold what happens his mom gets sick again and he packs up the house, his wife and kids and runs to the rescue, I lost my job, my home, and I am now spending 100.00 a week in gas taking my daughter to school and him to work, everyday I sleep in my car for 2 hours waiting for my daughter school to open, her day starts at 4am in the morning and ends at about 7pm. Now his sister comes to visit this time she stayed for 1.5 months, not once did she offer to help us, in fact my husband asked her for help and she refused. Here we are living in the streets almost, dragging our daughter around at 4am in the morning for over 12 hours a day, to take care of her mother and we would walk in the room and there was times she would not even speak. My husband dad was crying telling my husband he need help and she would not help him either, I ended up running around town for nursing homes, with no help, running back and forth to the hospital with no help. He asked my husband to move in with him because he did not want to be alone, and once again my husband comes to me, what do you think- I said I dont think that would be a good idea, and I told him why, then I lost my job because I worked 12 hours shifts and could not get any sleep from running back and forth with no help. My husband sister was due to leave town today and she comes to the house once, in 1.5 months and irons some clothes drops them at the nursing home and without saying anything to her brother she said goodbye to me and goes to walk out of the house. Not once did my father inlaw say anything to either one of them, he just looked at his son and went upstairs and said I am going to bed now. I have asked my husband over and over did he want to take to his sister about why she would do such a thing to him and he appears to be very angry and said no I dont care. I believe he is angry but I really think he is more hurt. 

What should I do? I cant bring myself to talk to her ever again not when you treat my husband like this. Nor, can I understand why and how his parents would put one sibling over the other.


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## preso

I don't know but since this thread is about spirituality and relationships......... I will tell you what I understand.
Your supposed to marry someone of the same faith, that your equally yoked with if your a Christian.
That is what I understand what the bible says about finding someone your yoked with to marry...

but if your not yoked, your supposed to stay with them anyway. says you'll have a hard time but your supposed to stay married and continue with your faith.

With his parents, they may do this and put one sibling above another because they believe the favored sibling has followed their instructions of pleased them in ways you may not be aware of.
I'm not saying what they believe is right or wrong...
but it is what they believe and live by.

You are welcome to do the same, your choices are up to you, just as theirs are up to them.


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## marriedinchrist

preso said:


> I don't know but since this thread is about spirituality and relationships......... I will tell you what I understand.
> Your supposed to marry someone of the same faith, that your equally yoked with if your a Christian.
> That is what I understand what the bible says about finding someone your yoked with to marry...
> 
> but if your not yoked, your supposed to stay with them anyway. says you'll have a hard time but your supposed to stay married and continue with your faith.
> 
> With his parents, they may do this and put one sibling above another because they believe the favored sibling has followed their instructions of pleased them in ways you may not be aware of.
> I'm not saying what they believe is right or wrong...
> but it is what they believe and live by.
> 
> You are welcome to do the same, your choices are up to you, just as theirs are up to them.



When I got married I was under the impression that I was marrying someone who was christian. The bible states we all all one in Christ, and even though my mother was Methodist and my dad was Baptist, it was never a issue in my household while growing up so, we never had nor have I seen such strife in different denominations before now. When the bible speaks of unequally yoke it speaks of thoese who do not believe in Christ, so I did not understand. My husband goes to church and we worship of the same faith, but it seems to me that he is having a hard time and they are putting one in front of the other because of the fact he married someone other than a JW. That to me is sad, he hurts so much behind this and he has not stated this to be the problem but it sure seems that way to me. I dont know what I would do in if I was in thoes shoes, were my family would disown me and misuse me because I go to church with my wife and kids. I also should mention that he was not attending the JW church nor was active for 16 years before we even met and it was not a problem then so what is the problem now? I am a Christian and I do worship Christ my bible tells me that marriage is sacrect in Gods eyes, and that no man should involve themselves in someone elses marriage, so why would you put one sibling in front of another sibling because that sibling has the same denomination you raised her in and the other dosnt, he still worships God. Also the bible said for this reason will a Man leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, not his sister. 
I know you are saying you dont agree I was I guess looking for a better way of doing things. I will and I am going to do what I have to do, it just really is sad to see his family hurt him over something like this. Especially, when her own husband is not a JW and is hurt by the fact they have not came to see her not once.


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## preso

I am very familair with JW and in that religion, you are sealed to another JW... you can't even marry in the JW church unless your a JW.
In the JW religion you are disowned by the church if you marry a non JW.
You should know that. I am not a JW but my brother married one
and they were exiled from the church. In that religion they have very strict rules, dietary as well as other rules. 
I've been to the temple ( outside the temple as non JW are not allowed in) and read all about them.

It is it's own religion, much like a cult.


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## preso

marriedinchrist said:


> I am a Christian and I do worship Christ my bible tells me that marriage is sacrect in Gods eyes, and that no man should involve themselves in someone elses marriage, so why would you put one sibling in front of another sibling .



Even God had favorites, of his children he favored Solomon above many others.
If God can have favorite children, there is no reason human people can't.


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## marriedinchrist

preso said:


> Even God had favorites, of his children he favored Solomon above many others.
> If God can have favorite children, there is no reason human people can't.


I cant say I agree with that completely, the bible states the God is no respecter of persons, so I am sorry I cant say that is so. 
I have had people tell me that JW is a cult, but I dont want to bring that type of attitude into my marriage. I am not saying you are incorrect I am saying, I would hate to do that. If you have a family member who is married into a JW family is your family member a JW as well? How do they treat you as being a non JW? Is it anything like what is happening here? 

I was told by my JW family that they are Christians as well, so I try to give them the benefit of the doubt.


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## preso

marriedinchrist said:


> If you have a family member who is married into a JW family is your family member a JW as well? How do they treat you as being a non JW? Is it anything like what is happening here?
> 
> .



My family member who married a JW was not a JW
therefore, not honored by the JW. They are not allowed in the church where they live, in salt lake city ( the big temple).

They are now divorced and I don't keep in touch with either of them due to the fact both have severe substance abuse and responsibility issues.
The children they had were abandon by them and taken in by JW couple, who raised them to be JW.
I do not prescribe to that faith.... but I do know about it.

~~~~~~~~~

I don't know what your asking exactly about your situation but you want your in laws to treat you the same as their other adult children... right?


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## marriedinchrist

preso said:


> My family member who married a JW was not a JW
> therefore, not honored by the JW. They are not allowed in the church where they live, in salt lake city ( the big temple).
> 
> They are now divorced and I don't keep in touch with either of them due to the fact both have severe substance abuse and responsibility issues.
> The children they had were abandon by them and taken in by JW couple, who raised them to be JW.
> I do not prescribe to that faith.... but I do know about it.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~
> 
> I don't know what your asking exactly about your situation but you want your in laws to treat you the same as their other adult children... right?


to be honest with you, I wasnt sure exactly what to hope for at this point, but that question kind of put another one in my mind and heart. They really cant treat me like their other adult children because I am not like them. However, I guess I cant change them no more than they can change me, it is just extermely sad to see a child castout of a family for worshipping Christ. I guess the only thing to do is just pray that God will is done and to move on. If all of this has taken place in your family member life I certainly dont want that in minds, and it is not to say that it will eventually turn to that, it is just that everyone is telling me this is a cult and it seems like one, at any case it is something I do not feel the need to prescribe to as well. I just never know a religion that is suppose to display God can cause so much strife and hurt to one of there own children, God is love not hate


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## preso

If he and his family is JW and your not....

didn't you know that would happen?

hey... latter day saints has its own beliefs and rules. They are not 
the same as non JW christians.

maybe thats why his family is trying to get you to convert
?
because as a non JW you can't even learn the secret handshake !!!


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## preso

What Do Mormons Believe


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## preso

Truth About Mormonism, Mormons, Mormon



http://www.exmormon.net/nice2.html
This is from an ex-mormon. I will have to say I feel LDS is more of a cult and in no way Christian. Apparently, you were under another assumption.
???


here's more:http://www.mrm.org/god-of-mormonism


if you do not convert to LDS teachings you are and will always be exiled from the church and those LDS who believe they are
the one and true church.


That is most likely why inlaws hound you to convert.

Even if you do, it will be a long process. They will not just open their doors to you because you say you want to convert.


I see LDS as a cult, the stuff they believe is crazy to me and goes against bible teachings, like the fact they believe:

Jesus is the brother of the devil, not his creator.


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## Corpuswife

If your H won't stand up to this father, then you know what your choices will be. 

I would consider separating and doing what is best for you and your daughter. I'm not sure if you work or can afford to separate, but living under these conditions is very unhealthy. 

I understand and commend your H for helping his Dad. However, to put his father in front of his wife isn't the right thing to do either.


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## confusedgirl1980

this is a difficult and frustrating situation. Some descisions need to be made about whats in his family's best interest... That family is you, your husband and child. That should be your H first priority.
As far as his siblings and parents go, they will recieve your H help as it is available. It sounds like respect is seriously lacking and his siblings and parents need to learn respect to everyone involved.
I understand that elders have certain expectations of their kids. (My grandfather treats his kids like crap making them feel guilty for not helping him but they help him everyday.) You can't control how people interpret situations. You do the best you can. Your H needs to tend to his wife and child first. Then offer what HE CAN as assistance to his folks. They take his help or they don't thats up to them.


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## CaliRN

preso said:


> I am very familair with JW and in that religion, you are sealed to another JW... you can't even marry in the JW church unless your a JW.
> In the JW religion you are disowned by the church if you marry a non JW.
> You should know that. I am not a JW but my brother married one
> and they were exiled from the church. In that religion they have very strict rules, dietary as well as other rules.
> I've been to the temple ( outside the temple as non JW are not allowed in) and read all about them.
> 
> It is it's own religion, much like a cult.


in the JW faith u are not disowned if u marry someone who is not a JW, but if u had sex with that person prior to marriage then ur disfellowshipped
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CaliRN

People hear have to do some research because there alot of confusion between LDS and JW faith, there not the same, LDS marry in temples
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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