# I feel like a fool



## sparkle4 (Jun 12, 2010)

My husband just moved out we have been having problems for a few months. For years our sex life has been once a month until a few months ago we started having sex a couple of times a week it was one of the only things going good in our relationship. It just hit me today why. I thought it was because he had been working on his porn addiction and making an effort to fix things. I started thinking today about things he has said to me over the past few weeks and I think I got it now.

He plays hacky sack with a group of young people for hours at night there is a girl there that he has told me about. The whole story is posted somewhere on these boards. He told me how the other guys who play flirt big time with the girls and the girls flirt back making sexual commont like tit shot, or the girls will act like they are licking the hacky sack they have even kissed each other just to get a rise out of the guys, while hubby says he does not act like that and the other guys tell him now that he is separtated he cant hide behind his marriage anymore. My husband tells me way to much. 

So thats what all of the sex is about he plays with them they get him all worked up and he comes home to me. He has told me before that he lusts for one girl and that they have been spending time togeather but they are just friends, he does not think she feels like that towards him. 

I feel sick to my stomach, how could I not have known it was more. 

We have our first theraphy appt in a hour. He has already told me he will not stop being friends with her because they are just friends and nothing has happened and he will not let anything happen. Today at this moment I cant deal with him playing with this group anymore I wonder if they would say stuff like that to him if I was there. I dont think so.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

You do realize he is only being friends with her until he gets in her panties, right?..you do realize this?...not to judge, but we have all been fools in here in one way or another,maybe I should say fooled, a fool lets it happen more than once IMO..he is already going into therapy with a preconceived notion how he's going to treat it, you can go a few times and see if it helps:scratchhead:, then if you still let him use you, well.....


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## sparkle4 (Jun 12, 2010)

Our apt went ok, he said he is on the fence about whether or not he wants to fix our marriage. We focused the session on my issues. My jealousy, lack of respect for him and my weight. When asked what I thought I could do differently those are the things I said I know I need to work on. I also said I want him to spend more time with me and stop spending so much time with those people playing hacky sack or at least no one on one time with that girl. He would not agree, he said he has not cheated on me and he really enjoys spending time with them.  When he was asked what he needed to work on he said he feels like he has done everything he can and put a lot of effort into changing right before he moved out. I did not say what I figured out about his effort to change our sex life. I got a feeling the therapist was trying to stay away from topics that might push hubby too far. He spent 2 hrs with us his next apt cancelled. I thought that was great we really needed it. 

We seemed to get along ok, he at least was not so snotty to me, until late last night I called him and he is back to being mad at me and being snotty, must be cause he was up at the club hanging with the ho's


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