# Feeling Used!



## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

Wondering will the feeling that when he is with me Is he thinking of the ow ever go away? I feel since I found out about his EA that everytime he kisses me, makes love to me, taking me out is he thinking of HER. I wonder if everything in his life were the same and he could just switch me out for her.What he would do. He talks about fixing our marriage and all the things we have together(house,cars,etc.) Most things are in my name and I had before we were married so if he left he would have to give up most of the things.Is that why he is really staying because he doesn't want to start over. I have asked and he says he loves me and wants our marriage to work out. My thinking is if you really loved me you would have never cheated on me.


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Normal thoughts - but if you want this to work you need to start working on controlling them or it will be a self fulfilled prophecy.

Are you in counseling? If so you should be bringing these thoughts and concerns up there for discussion.

If not - schedule an appointment...


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## chuckf75 (Sep 6, 2009)

I understand your feelings, my wife had an affair a couple of months ago and although we have been making up great sometimes I wonder about them together. An EA is often just a fantasy about what could be. They ususally don't really know the person and it is all the "honeymoon stage". I cheated on my ex-wife but it was all about sex, with an EA I have had no expereince so am not sure. I always loved my wife even when I cheated.


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## foolz1 (Sep 5, 2009)

chuckf75 said:


> I always loved my wife even when I cheated.


I always marvel at how the actions of cheaters equate with love. :scratchhead:


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## dav (Sep 28, 2009)

yes tbh i think if you truly love someone you would not cheat - ive heard all the excuses about depression and boredom but when you have someone faithful that actually does do all the household jobs for you and buys you things and tells you youre lovely etc and are besotted and then they still cheat then it cannot be love. (In my opinion)


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## Calypso (May 11, 2009)

It took me almost a year to stop thinking like that. It was really bad at first I would ask him if he was thinking of her. He would always say no which helped. I told him I would ask what ever I needed to ask to help heal the hurt. So far he has been great with the Q & A sessions. But it will get better with time how much time depends on you.


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