# How to handle tax time



## iaschneider5 (Oct 5, 2019)

So I do have another tread that's a bit long so figured for this question id just ask separately. Its tax time and I have taxes to file. Last year i did too just not as much. My ex claimed all 3 kids without talking to me and of course spent even dime. This year after speaking with my lawyer she suggested me take 2 and my ex have one plus her new kid. Or to benefit us both we file together and a tax professional said the same thing but he also said most of the time nobody can agree on terms. 
Anywho If I file with all 3 kid which id love to do since she did it last year id do alright but but might get a bit of backlash come court time but I suppose she will also for last year. 

If I only do 2 I loose more than just the tax credit because of however it works. So bottom line i lose 3k 1500 for the child and an extra 1500 because of how the credit works with what income it is etc. To me thats a big number at the moment. 

So do I just claim the 3 and idk say I thought I only did 2 or whatever and just accept whatever happens or do I try work it out with my ex and file together which could potentially benefit us both or just file the 2 and lose out on an extra 3k.

Any advice would be appreciated.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

If you are divorced this should be spelled out. If you are not divorced, then make sure this is solved when you go to court. Some people are just petty. Long term get yourself in a position where you don't give two craps about $1500. That's the real solution.


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## iaschneider5 (Oct 5, 2019)

Al_Bundy said:


> If you are divorced this should be spelled out. If you are not divorced, then make sure this is solved when you go to court. Some people are just petty. Long term get yourself in a position where you don't give two craps about $1500. That's the real solution.


Not done yet but hopefully should have a date soon. If I don't figure out what to do before my ex gets her w2 because she will just file with all 3 again as quick as she can. Trying to work it out based on what my lawyer said but ya know only works if both participate. 

Thats the goal, I was there at one point now not so much.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I would have YOUR lawyer write EXPLICITLY to HER lawyer that she is NOT to take ALL three kids on the taxes and that you both need to work it out.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Violently. That's how you handle tax time.
Honestly, any shared deductions should be handled in the most advantageous way and the return should be used on the children's needs. It doesn't make sense for just one spouse to get all the deductions, if it is better to share them..


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## iaschneider5 (Oct 5, 2019)

jlg07 said:


> I would have YOUR lawyer write EXPLICITLY to HER lawyer that she is NOT to take ALL three kids on the taxes and that you both need to work it out.


I was planning on having my lawyer talk to hers also. My lawyer says I should at least get 2 if I don't get a response from my ex today when I reach out again i will just do it anyway. Shoot maybe ill just do all 3 and see what happens I need the money. It will be spent on propter taxes and a new water treatment system for my house. Very hard water here but once that's done i have a system for drinking water that goes under the sink that will have its own spout and will connect to the fridge for water and ice. Currently using a water cooler ad gallons for our water needs for cooking and drinking due to the hard water. 



jonty30 said:


> Violently. That's how you handle tax time.
> Honestly, any shared deductions should be handled in the most advantageous way and the return should be used on the children's needs. It doesn't make sense for just one spouse to get all the deductions, if it is better to share them..


Believe me I was just gonna claim all 3 and be done with it and not care and I still might! The tax guy I spoke with said whoever does it first wins and it really doesn't matter. Court might though. I plan on spending the money on the taxes for the house and the water treatment and whatever is left will go into savings. My ex on the other hand wasted both last years and the years before totaling somewhere between 26-30k on nothing. She has nothing to show for it besides an apartment she hasn't paid for since the summer, an suv that will be in repo in 30 days which has now caused both our bank accounts to be locked because of it since I'm on the loan still smh! 

2019 had my name on it I should have gotten half she kept it and spent it all. The following year she filed separate with all 3 kids and didn't tell me until after it was done


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

If you've been supporting the kids financially all year, and sounds like yes, take all three after you advise your lawyer what your logic is.

Simple.


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## iaschneider5 (Oct 5, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> If you've been supporting the kids financially all year, and sounds like yes, take all three after you advise your lawyer what your logic is.
> 
> Simple.


Ehh yes and no. I take care of my bills, food etc buy some clothes shoes school stuff for them whatever it is. She does it at her house plus her mom buys a lot of stuff. if its a school related thing or something we need t get for them we do try discuss it and split doesn't aways go nice and smooth. She does buy a lot of stuff that I wouldn't say is needed then goes "I bought this or that and you don't offer anything towards it" First she doesn't tell me about it and second its her mom doing it most of the time. 
I take care of my stuff bills are paid food is on the table and I'm not at risk for losing my house like sh his with her apartment. 

ill most likely just do the 2 even tough id love to do the 3 just to piss her off as there really isn't much else I can do.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

iaschneider5 said:


> Ehh yes and no. I take care of my bills, food etc buy some clothes shoes school stuff for them whatever it is. She does it at her house plus her mom buys a lot of stuff. if its a school related thing or something we need t get for them we do try discuss it and split doesn't aways go nice and smooth. She does buy a lot of stuff that I wouldn't say is needed then goes "I bought this or that and you don't offer anything towards it" First she doesn't tell me about it and second its her mom doing it most of the time.
> I take care of my stuff bills are paid food is on the table and I'm not at risk for losing my house like sh his with her apartment.
> 
> ill most likely just do the 2 even tough id love to do the 3 just to piss her off as there really isn't much else I can do.


I can dig it. Do what's logical to you, it sounds like a reasonable plan.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

iaschneider5 said:


> Not done yet but hopefully should have a date soon. If I don't figure out what to do before my ex gets her w2 because she will just file with all 3 again as quick as she can. Trying to work it out based on what my lawyer said but ya know only works if both participate.
> 
> Thats the goal, I was there at one point now not so much.


I totally get the financial aspect of it and also the moral aspect of it. You very well might be 1000% in the right. The issue here is the IRS. I try to avoid them (legally) as much as possible. You already have one court battle with her coming up, be careful not to add Tax Court to that. 

Right now she has no incentive to be nice, all she sees is that money. She's probably the type that later on when she wants something she'll try to guilt you into it because "it's for the kids". Don't fall for it, just remind her she should have saved the refund.

Also, if she's the type of person who gets her refund and then is broke a month or two later then she will get hers because people like that never get ahead. Especially when you get back on your feet and are doing better than ever.


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## iaschneider5 (Oct 5, 2019)

Al_Bundy said:


> I totally get the financial aspect of it and also the moral aspect of it. You very well might be 1000% in the right. The issue here is the IRS. I try to avoid them (legally) as much as possible. You already have one court battle with her coming up, be careful not to add Tax Court to that.
> 
> Right now she has no incentive to be nice, all she sees is that money. She's probably the type that later on when she wants something she'll try to guilt you into it because "it's for the kids". Don't fall for it, just remind her she should have saved the refund.
> 
> Also, if she's the type of person who gets her refund and then is broke a month or two later then she will get hers because people like that never get ahead. Especially when you get back on your feet and are doing better than ever.



I'm just trying to be as civil as possible mainly so when court comes I can prove she's he one being uncivil. 
I might just do all 3 all I gotta do is click file and its over, Ill get an extra 3k vs just claiming 2 and put all the money into my house so bankruptcy court can't take it from me haha. 

She has done the "its for the kids" a lot smh and yup! I mean she blew through her salary, 2 tax returns, stimulus, our savings, child support from new baby daddy, the early child tax credits and has nothing. When I got her bank statements the ended jan31st 2021 she had $700 to her name. She did get another tax return but stopped working shortly after. in the first 18 months after leaving me its around 75k between that and credit cards might even be bit more. 

Now git some news today from lawyer and gonna update my other tread for anyone that is interested.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Al_Bundy said:


> If you are divorced this should be spelled out. If you are not divorced, then make sure this is solved when you go to court. Some people are just petty. Long term get yourself in a position where you don't give two craps about $1500. That's the real solution.


This x1000.
Understand that freedom costs.
People gave their lives for freedom.
It is just your bank account that is taking the assault.
Tell your self over and over that "Getting rid of crazy is priceless."


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## edsaqwer (12 mo ago)

Of course, everything should be made as profitable as possible for children, and the refund should be used for the benefit of children. In this case, it is not necessary to take full responsibility for the payment of all deductions in favor of the spouse. On the other hand, if you want to take your children to yourself in the future, then you must prove to the court that children will be better and more comfortable with you (of course, this should be done because of love for children, and not because of hatred for your husband). To do this, I advise you to create paystubs in order to present documents in court in the future that your financial situation is better, that children will be better off with you. But I repeat once again, it should be only for the sake of the children. And don't deprive their father of time with them. Good luck to you!


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## bygone (11 mo ago)

The only thing that interests me in your writings must be your personal development, the greatest favor your wife has done for you.You should re-read your first post.

your wife was the same from the beginning to the end of the relationship,

You were the not self-respecting husband who covered everything your wife did and lived with no expectations other than having her by your side.

If your wife hadn't left you, you'd be living forgiving of her relationships.

You had to see her personality during the divorce phase. You had to improve yourself.

I hope for the rest of your life you will act by seeing what you need to see, without lying to yourself.


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