# What makes a man sexy?



## Totally T

I'm curious. Fire away.


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## Beach123

His attitude!


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## Diana7

You may find its a different answer from everyone. Also you cant always put that chemistry and attraction into words. Its there or it isnt. 
I find that a man's character and integrity makes him more or less attractive. His values and standards. If he is prepared to go against the flow of the way others may live to keep his own values. A man who has self control and decency.


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## Anastasia6

Man Chores like fixing my stove. or such always gets me hot.
Regular chores. I really want sex after a nice breakfast.
Dishes.
Washing my back and butt, soapy and really making sure they are clean

But my love language is acts of service. 

It's one of the reasons I laugh when men tell other men dishes won't get you jack to go to the gym.
When my husband was running triathlons he got less action than he does now 100 pounds heavier. 
I was lonely when he spent 4 hours a day training. No matter how good he looked.

All goes back to What is her love language and what else is going on. If you let resentment build for 20 years, no dishes won't do it. But if you are in a good marriage and you love language is acts of service then..... it's hot.


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## Luckylucky

I just love when my husband goes all shy and embarrassed, it reminds me of when we first met.


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## Totally T

Luckylucky said:


> I just love when my husband goes all shy and embarrassed, it reminds me of when we first met.


This is fun.


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## Prodigal

What makes a man "sexy" is highly subjective. I thought my brainy, rather geeky husband was sexy as hell. Quiet intellectual to the outside world, freak in the bedroom.


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## Openminded

Confidence — and lots of it.


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## ccpowerslave

Anastasia6 said:


> It's one of the reasons I laugh when men tell other men dishes won't get you jack...


The reason for this is because the AFC (average frustrated chump) thinks of it in terms of a covert contract transaction. If I do X then I get Y; only they’re the only one that knows about the contract. The next step is they go sulk about it or wonder why their transaction didn’t work. Maybe it will work next time...(it won’t)


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## Anastasia6

ccpowerslave said:


> The reason for this is because the AFC (average frustrated chump) thinks of it in terms of a covert contract transaction. If I do X then I get Y; only they’re the only one that knows about the contract. The next step is they go sulk about it or wonder why their transaction didn’t work. Maybe it will work next time...(it won’t)


I agree that the covert contract stuff is garbage. And they don't seem to realize the years of not doing their share around the house change the relationship. They became one more thing to check off the list, after cleaning up after them. 

But a true life partner... sexy.


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## ccpowerslave

Anastasia6 said:


> But a true life partner... sexy.


I cleaned my wife’s toilet the other day. I used it and was like whoa it needs to be cleaned. So I spent time really cleaning it until it was gleaming. She went and used it later that day and said nothing (used it a couple times).

The next day about halfway through after using it again a couple times she says, “Hey did you clean my toilet?”

Take home: cleaning toilet not sexy.


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## DownByTheRiver

I agree attitude and confidence are what makes a man sexy. I mean, even if a guy isn't all that physically attractive, if he's still got that swagger like he knows he's hot, at the very least it will make me curious to see what he's about. I do fall for good looks though, but not conventional ones. Long haired rocker ones.

I don't like hesitance at all, not once you're face to face. On top of all that, if they are literate and charming and like to talk about something besides me and them, that's when I start swooning.

One guy I fell hard for, it kind of started when he sat down at the hangout bar and was just real talkative. We talked about a certain band and then astral projection. Then he came into the record store where I worked and where I met him when I wasn't there and then ran into him out at the same hangout and he handcuffed me to him with toy plastic handcuffs and said they came in real handy if someone was trying to leave. Later we stood outside the door and watched the rain. Most people hated how much he talked (and it worked my nerves the last time I saw him in more recent years too), but it was great at the time. He was not the most confident guy, but he was good at faking it at least and genuinely well versed. He's the one who ended up that he had ED and kept me miserable for 3 years.

One guy I fell hard for and never unfell was very good looking and we'd run into one another at bars when I was quite young. First time I saw him, he came into a hippie bar where I worked days just holding the fort down and borrowed a nickel for the phone, wearing a leather American flag jacket. This guy was stunning looking and had style always, though that's the last time I ever saw him in that jacket.

I was leery of someone so good looking and trying to not just go wiggy over him, but one night I walked in (we both played pool at this one place), and he's bent over the pool table about to take a shot and I'm in his line of vision -- and he has this black hat on, dipped over one eye and his blue eye staring up at me from underneath leaned over the cue. That was it. Any guy who could come into that grungy bar glammed out in a hat, where no one wore anything besides scrubby jeans and not get the crap beat out of himself had some serious attitude. From that night on, anytime we ran into each other, he kissed my hand. (Men always find that totally obnoxious, but it was our thing, even if we were both with other people.)

Decades of lust to follow with a guy who wasn't any more domestic than I was, so it was always just intermittent.

When I "reuned" with him after 25 years, I told him about that night with him leaning over the pool table in that black hat, and he said, "It was brown, but in my mind, it was supposed to be black, so I'm glad you saw it black." Other than that, he claims to have very few memories from back in the day due to a lot of living and some physical trauma. He was no worse for wear, except he had a beard and I don't like those, but from the neck down, ooolala and still with the attitude.


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## joannacroc

Intelligence, a sense of humor. Someone who makes you feel seen and heard.


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## Adelais

I second that. But he also has to be handsome, well groomed, fit and clean.


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## Mr.Married

A Big... Fat... Thick.. Ready to Use..............checkbook!!!


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## heartsbeating

Vibe. Grace. Character. Being grounded. Conviction. Yummy forearms. An unknowing swagger. Laughter and goofiness. Presence that indicates he could handle this.


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## heartsbeating

Oh and... a BIG music collection.


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## ccpowerslave

heartsbeating said:


> Oh and... a BIG music collection.


Depth across genres or would it still be sexy to have 1000 albums from one genre?


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## Blondilocks

DownByTheRiver said:


> When I "reuned" with him after 25 years, I told him about that night with him leaning over the pool table in that black hat, and he said, It was brown, but in my mind, it was supposed to be black, so I'm glad you saw it black.


Did he remember what you were wearing? Men who remember what they were wearing 25 years ago just don't do it for me. It's a little too (what is the word I'm looking for?) sissyish.

Confidence is the name of the game. True self confidence - not some affectation acquired after reading a book on how to game women.


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## lucy999

ccpowerslave said:


> I cleaned my wife’s toilet the other day. I used it and was like whoa it needs to be cleaned. So I spent time really cleaning it until it was gleaming. She went and used it later that day and said nothing (used it a couple times).
> 
> The next day about halfway through after using it again a couple times she says, “Hey did you clean my toilet?”
> 
> Take home: cleaning toilet not sexy.


Your wife's LL isn't acts of service then. Find out what it is and proceed from there.

My LL is acts of service. If you were my H and cleaned my toilet, you would've gotten some action. 

I find it incredibly sexy when my husband takes initiative. Yes, even if it's to clean my toilet. It's not the actual act per se; it's that he takes charge and gets things done.


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## ccpowerslave

Yeah I did it because the toilet was gross not because I was trying to get some. Just thought it was funny that something big to me she didn’t even notice.

I think like me her LL is spread all over the map, my two biggest are physical and words of affirmation.


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## lucy999

ccpowerslave said:


> Yeah I did it because the toilet was gross not because I was trying to get some.


I know.


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## Rowan

ccpowerslave said:


> I cleaned my wife’s toilet the other day. I used it and was like whoa it needs to be cleaned. So I spent time really cleaning it until it was gleaming. She went and used it later that day and said nothing (used it a couple times).
> 
> The next day about halfway through after using it again a couple times she says, “Hey did you clean my toilet?”
> 
> *Take home: cleaning toilet not sexy.*



Cleaning does not, in fact, instantaneously turn most women on. Never cleaning on the apparent assumption that the magical house elves (or, more realistically, your wife) will just happily do it all, though, eventually turns most women *off*. 

So, no, cleaning the toilet isn't inherently sexy. Never cleaning a toilet - or doing much of anything else around the house - is, in the long term, inherently *un-sexy*. 

I think far too many guys miss the distinction there.


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## Blondilocks

ccpowerslave said:


> Yeah I did it because the toilet was gross not because I was trying to get some. *Just thought it was funny that something big to me she didn’t even notice.*
> 
> I think like me her LL is spread all over the map, my two biggest are physical and words of affirmation.


I think you're missing a clue here. If it was big to her, the toilet wouldn't have gotten so dirty. Look at what is big to her.


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## joannacroc

As far as acts of service, if someone makes me a cup of coffee in the morning, opens the door for me when I have my hands full, or helps me carry the groceries in, that is sexy because it has shown they care about me. So...courtesy, I guess? I hate cleaning and do it out of necessity, so while I appreciate a guy cleaning, I wouldn't say it's sexy necessarily. I'm sure it varies a lot depending on the person.


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## Married_in_michigan

so..not to hijack this thread, but my wife often talks about how "hairy men" are attractive to her (physically). She always pushes me for growing out my beard and keeping my body hairy. The thing is....I do think she finds that sexy on some men, but not every man carries that look well, and I don't think I do. My point...I think attributes that any given women finds sexy may be specific to the individual as well, especially physical attributes.


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## jlg07

My wife likes facial hair, and I had never grown a beard or moustache until we started dating.
She mentioned it, I tried it, and I've had facial hair of one sort or another since...
I don't mind NOT shaving, and she likes it so.....


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## TJW

Mr.Married said:


> A Big... Fat... Thick.. Ready to Use..............checkbook!!!


Definition of a financial genius:
Any guy who can make more than his wife can spend.

I, unfortunately, lack this, and all aforementioned attributes.


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## DownByTheRiver

Blondilocks said:


> Did he remember what you were wearing? Men who remember what they were wearing 25 years ago just don't do it for me. It's a little too (what is the word I'm looking for?) sissyish.
> 
> Confidence is the name of the game. True self confidence - not some affectation acquired after reading a book on how to game women.


Didn't ask. He was a peacock. I like peacocks just fine. Different strokes. The way he recreated himself was inspiring. He was one of the most attractive men I've ever met, partly genes, partly presentation.


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## DownByTheRiver

lucy999 said:


> Your wife's LL isn't acts of service then. Find out what it is and proceed from there.
> 
> My LL is acts of service. If you were my H and cleaned my toilet, you would've gotten some action.
> 
> I find it incredibly sexy when my husband takes initiative. Yes, even if it's to clean my toilet. It's not the actual act per se; it's that he takes charge and gets things done.


I like acts of service too, mainly because I grew up kind of rural where people learned to do things for themselves, but then when I moved to the big city, none of the guys in my music crowd were handy like that, so I never got the benefit of that. I was handier than they were for the most part. There was one who would have gotten something done if we'd been in a committed relationship, but he probably would not have done it himself.


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## DownByTheRiver

Married_in_michigan said:


> so..not to hijack this thread, but my wife often talks about how "hairy men" are attractive to her (physically). She always pushes me for growing out my beard and keeping my body hairy. The thing is....I do think she finds that sexy on some men, but not every man carries that look well, and I don't think I do. My point...I think attributes that any given women finds sexy may be specific to the individual as well, especially physical attributes.


They really are. I'd rather have the only hair on a man be long and on his head. But there's all types, and that's a good thing, so we are not all attracted to the same type . I literally, during younger dating years, didn't even SEE men with beards. They were instantly overlooked. I remember this handsome bartender in the city I moved to said he'd been in the same party as me in my old state and I didn't remember him at all and just told him I'd have remembered him, and he kept bringing it up and finally turns out he had a beard then. So you couldn't even see his best asset, his handsome face. So I didn't even notice him at all.


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## DownByTheRiver

TJW said:


> Definition of a financial genius:
> Any guy who can make more than his wife can spend.
> 
> I, unfortunately, lack this, and all aforementioned attributes.


You are not alone!


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## Personal

His derring-do!


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## thefam

I was going to answer but all my answers are extremely shallow.


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## Totally T

thefam said:


> I was going to answer but all my answers are extremely shallow.


Ladies, I made this post since it's VERY obvious what makes a woman sexy, but not so much what makes a man sexy. You're talking intangibles here, not lingerie! LOL


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## ccpowerslave

I was kind of hoping that there would be more superficial stuff.


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## thefam

The Mighty Fred said:


> Ladies, I made this post since it's VERY obvious what makes a woman sexy, but not so much what makes a man sexy. You're talking intangibles here, not lingerie! LOL


What so OBVIOUSLY makes a woman sexy? Shallow stuff or the intangibles?


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## thefam

ccpowerslave said:


> I was kind of hoping that there would be more superficial stuff.


Well, here's my superficialities:

1. Dimples
2. Broad back
3. Nice forearms (but not overly buff)
4. Flat stomach
5. Naturally wide smile
6. Nice thighs and calves
7. Being tall enough that I have to look up at him (I'm 5'3 so that's pretty easy)

My H has all of these except # 3 (I prefer his leaner look but he is overdoing it with the lifting) and #8 (he has nice thighs but tweety-bird calves). Doesn't matter. I love him to the moon and back!


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## ccpowerslave

1, 5, 7 are immutable the rest can be worked on so not a bad ratio.


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## thefam

ccpowerslave said:


> 1, 5, 7 are immutable the rest can be worked on so not a bad ratio.


Well he has worked on #6. all of his adult life and the best he can get is a tiny bit of bulk with definition, but so out of proportion to his upper legs and thighs. I tell him God gave him those skinny legs to keep him humble!

He ain't listening to me regarding the lean look. He wants the more buff look and that's that.


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## ccpowerslave

thefam said:


> He ain't listening to me regarding the lean look. He wants the more buff look and that's that.


My wife is the opposite. If I get too lean like trying to get down to fighting weight (I am tall so for me 205lbs) she doesn’t like it; even at 225 she will complain about my hip bones. I have been trying to listen to her and have been lifting heavier and eating slightly more.


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## Totally T

I've always been complimented on my legs. I was once out running and a carful of teenage girls slowed and catcalled.


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## DownByTheRiver

The Mighty Fred said:


> I've always been complimented on my legs. I was once out running and a carful of teenage girls slowed and catcalled.


All right!

I was eating Mexican food alone one day and had my head down you know eating, and I see this great pair of legs getting ready to run by me and just was startled by it. What's embarrassing is he saw my reaction and then I keep running into him at this place and he's nice and smiles. He's definitely a cowboy. I think he even has a hat on, but it's hard for me to look up past his hips and legs. his face is not really good looking but it's real direct and frank looking and I like that too. He saw me having a lust attack on him. He was half my age of course. Man does he have a set of legs on him.


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## ccpowerslave

One time a fitness model type was at my boxing gym. I was doing speed bag and she told my coach my legs looked strong. I felt good for about 20 seconds.


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## heartsbeating

ccpowerslave said:


> Depth across genres or would it still be sexy to have 1000 albums from one genre?


Good question - and either way!


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## Livvie

Hair.

Chest hair, too.


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## Totally T

You know it's bizarre:

Women LOVE adulation and admiration and compliments, if given in a safe fashion, especially by men they at least like. BUT THEY hardly ever give compliments.

Why is this?



(recognize, ladies, that men are squeamish now about giving compliments since feminists scream in your face if you do. It really happens, and once burned, a guy says ef-it to all that. Your loss).


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## aine

Strength of character esp integrity
sense of humour
tenderness at right moments
broad shoulders, strong arms


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## Not

The Mighty Fred said:


> You know it's bizarre:
> 
> Women LOVE adulation and admiration and compliments, if given in a safe fashion, especially by men they at least like. BUT THEY hardly ever give compliments.
> 
> Why is this?
> 
> 
> 
> (recognize, ladies, that men are squeamish now about giving compliments since feminists scream in your face if you do. It really happens, and once burned, a guy says ef-it to all that. Your loss).



My BF gets squeamish with compliments and struggles with how to respond yet showers me with them and expects me to "just take it" because he'll never stop, he says. The hypocrisy is endearing lol!


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## Rowan

The Mighty Fred said:


> You know it's bizarre:
> 
> Women LOVE adulation and admiration and compliments, if given in a safe fashion, especially by men they at least like. BUT THEY hardly ever give compliments.
> 
> Why is this?
> 
> (recognize, ladies, that men are squeamish now about giving compliments since feminists scream in your face if you do. It really happens, and once burned, a guy says ef-it to all that. Your loss).


I think most people, men and women, enjoy admiration. How much is highly dependent on the individual. Some people want and enjoy lots of compliments, while others don't. Some folks like compliments from strangers, while others prefer them from the people who matter to them. 

I'm actually pretty uncomfortable receiving compliments. And I am _super _skittish about receiving them from men I'm not in a relationship with. But I accept them from my fella good naturedly, even if they do make me uncomfortable. I think it's because I trust that he means them and they've never come with any sort of manipulation or back-handedness involved. 

I am more comfortable giving compliments to others. I also compliment SO frequently. On all sorts of things, though, not just his looks.


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## Ms. Hawaii

Money. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## GC1234

His hair... quiet low/key guys...


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## ConanHub

The Mighty Fred said:


> I'm curious. Fire away.


Insight.

Muscles, good shoulder/hip ratio and charm don't hurt either but insight into the human condition with a specialization in the female perspective really hits the spot.

Real confidence in your abilities and keeping good priorities are fairly essential as well.


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## ConanHub

Anastasia6 said:


> Man Chores like fixing my stove. or such always gets me hot.
> Regular chores. I really want sex after a nice breakfast.
> Dishes.
> Washing my back and butt, soapy and really making sure they are clean
> 
> But my love language is acts of service.
> 
> It's one of the reasons I laugh when men tell other men dishes won't get you jack to go to the gym.
> When my husband was running triathlons he got less action than he does now 100 pounds heavier.
> I was lonely when he spent 4 hours a day training. No matter how good he looked.
> 
> All goes back to What is her love language and what else is going on. If you let resentment build for 20 years, no dishes won't do it. But if you are in a good marriage and you love language is acts of service then..... it's hot.


I love your response because it is individually you.

I will say that it doesn't inspire sexual attraction for a lot of women but your situation is uniquely yours.

Many don't get the individuality of the person they are with.

Mrs. Conan needs certain traits that don't reflect my physical appearance but it is undeniable that my shoulders and chest absolutely stir her primal fires.

I'm not one to reduce the importance of character and individual love languages but physicality doesn't hurt the equation. Quite the opposite in my experience.😊


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## ConanHub

Ms. Hawaii said:


> Money.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Good Lord!

I love your purity!😊

I can't nail down why I love your post so much right now but I will endeavour to explore my reasons.

I'm in the middle of a triple shot single malt scotch so my higher functions are slightly impaired but I love your response!😉


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## AandM

Money.😂


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## Totally T

Its interesting chores get mentioned. How's a guy to know of all things this could be sexy. Here I'm finishing up a custom fitted chopping table in the kitchen for me wife. But I think she likes to see me sweaty after playing a lot of tennis.


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## DownByTheRiver

The Mighty Fred said:


> You know it's bizarre:
> 
> Women LOVE adulation and admiration and compliments, if given in a safe fashion, especially by men they at least like. BUT THEY hardly ever give compliments.
> 
> Why is this?
> 
> 
> 
> (recognize, ladies, that men are squeamish now about giving compliments since feminists scream in your face if you do. It really happens, and once burned, a guy says ef-it to all that. Your loss).


some women dislike compliments because usually they're strictly about their physical looks and it gets old and there's usually ulterior motive behind it. 

I've certainly complimented men before but I don't just go straight for telling him how good looking they are or something like that. Might tell them I like their outfits or more likely some talent they have.


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## Ms. Hawaii

AandM said:


> Money.


Hard work/ambition is sexy! 

Lol I was drinking wine when I posted.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Totally T

Ms. Hawaii said:


> Hard work/ambition is sexy!
> 
> Lol I was drinking wine when I posted.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I agree. The most successful businessmen have enthusiasm and can get others to join in the enterprise at hand. People respond to that. To some extent you see this in commercial real estate. . . almost have to convince people that "if you built it, they will come."


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## ConanHub

Ms. Hawaii said:


> Hard work/ambition is sexy!
> 
> Lol I was drinking wine when I posted.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


You are accurate. While I'm not an evolutionary thinker, I found this insightful.


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## ccpowerslave

I used to drive an expensive sports car and I had a lady hit on me when she was with her boyfriend. May be something to it. After a couple generations of it I switched to expensive watches they fly much more under the radar.


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## Luckylucky

Something I find really sexy is modesty. I don’t like a rooster flashing his colourful feathers. 

Rich or poor, I like a man who doesn’t need to tell me or show me his worth. Makes me swoon! If he’s chopping up a block of wood and hoping he’s got an audience, or flashing a shiny toy and checking to see who’s noticing, that’s a real turn off. I like a man who’s so comfortable in his own skin he doesn’t even think about how he appears. So sexy! 

I love forearms and a hairy chest peeping out a little bit. I also love a good dad-bod.


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## Totally T

Watches are interesting. I have low end Swiss because I know I'd kicked myself if I dinged them up too badly building a chopping table for my wife or fixing something. I know how to do a lot of things and my wrists and hands really travel.


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## Rowan

ccpowerslave said:


> I used to drive an expensive sports car and I had a lady hit on me when she was with her boyfriend. May be something to it. After a couple generations of it I switched to expensive watches they fly much more under the radar.



SO is also a watch guy. I collect vintage jewelry and introduced him to the joys of fine vintage watches. And, yes, it's an under-the-radar hobby. A pristine vintage Omega is something that takes some care and deliberation to own and that will likely never even be noticed by most people. But the estate jewelers in our area just love to see us come in....😄


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## old barmaid

ConanHub said:


> Good Lord!
> 
> I love your purity!😊
> 
> I can't nail down why I love your post so much right now but I will endeavour to explore my reasons.
> 
> I'm in the middle of a triple shot single malt scotch so my higher functions are slightly impaired but I love your response!😉


Nothing like a good single scotch 😉


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## Corgi Mum

I'll be an outlier here and say voice. The right low-timbred almost gravelly voice can make even an unattractive man sexy.

Forearms 🤪

The ability to spell correctly and use proper grammar also scores points with me. My age is showing.


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## TexasMom1216

The ability to post pictures of zombie cats. 😉


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## farsidejunky

TexasMom1216 said:


> The ability to post pictures of zombie cats.


Suck up.



Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## Debbiere

A man is made sexy by his self-confidence and desire to satisfy not only himself, but also his woman.


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## plastow

Totally T said:


> I'm curious. Fire away.


it seems to me most women find bad boys attractive ive no idea why its just something ive noted


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## plastow

Totally T said:


> I'm curious. Fire away.


money defo makes women find a guy attractive,any guy


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## Rubix Cubed

Almost 2 years into this thread and I've got the music collection covered.

p.s. I just ordered some Popeye forearms from Amazon.


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## GC1234

Totally T said:


> I'm curious. Fire away.


I like a tall, low key guy. Shy at first, but then opens up. Someone who likes to do dinners, movies at home, and where we can hang out with mutual friends. Somebody who is serious, but can occasionally drink and have a good time. Someone who can introduce me to new things, but not be pushy.


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