# Scared- A passionless life



## Polarbear214 (Apr 28, 2015)

I'm married about 1 1/2 year and I knew at the day standing at the alter it was a mistake. I just hoped things would change, and my feelings would change. I have been living a fake life for these years, and I just can't take it any more. My wife's family is amazing and she has been loving to me. She has been the only one to ever raise me up. But I can't help that I have no physical attraction to her. I try and control my urges but eventually end up having sex with other women. I even cheated with her once. 

Now after a few months, we have been seeing a couples therapist. She wants to start a family. I would like to start a family too, but not with her. She's probably at least 70 lbs overweight and a very lazy person. She doesn't exercise much and doesn't do much around the house. All the kinds of things that I really despise, yet being the dummy I managed to marry her anyway. It's come to the point where I can't kick the can down the road anymore. Last night she wanted to have unprotected sex....I couldn't do it and eventually when she pried I told her she needs to lose some weight. No it wasn't said the best way, but I've been hinting at this for several years now. I just can't bear the thought of having a child with her and having this marriage fall apart. I couldn't live with myself if this happened. I feel so lost and lonely. I know what I have to finally do...would like to get some advice as I don't have anyone to go to about this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You say that you have been married 1.5 years. But you have been telling her for several years that she needs to lose weight. So how long have the two of you been together? 



> But I can't help that I have no physical attraction to her. I try and control my urges but eventually end up having sex with other women. I even cheated with her once.


This also sounds contradictory, so could you clarify? It sounds like you have had sex with several women outside your marriage.. then you say that you cheated once.. only once. I'm sure it's just not stated right. 

So divorce her. She deserves someone who can really love her. You were wrong to marry her.

You also deserve someone who you want to be married to. 

You would both me better off divorced. Now is the time.. before she gets pregnant and you two bring a child into this mess of a marriage.

Does she even have a clue that you dislike her so much?


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Polarbear214 said:


> I'm married about 1 1/2 year and I knew at the day standing at the alter it was a mistake. I just hoped things would change, and my feelings would change. I have been living a fake life for these years, and I just can't take it any more. My wife's family is amazing and she has been loving to me. She has been the only one to ever raise me up. But I can't help that I have no physical attraction to her. I try and control my urges but eventually end up having sex with other women. I even cheated with her once.
> 
> Now after a few months, we have been seeing a couples therapist. She wants to start a family. I would like to start a family too, but not with her. She's probably at least 70 lbs overweight and a very lazy person. She doesn't exercise much and doesn't do much around the house. All the kinds of things that I really despise, yet being the dummy I managed to marry her anyway. It's come to the point where I can't kick the can down the road anymore. Last night she wanted to have unprotected sex....I couldn't do it and eventually when she pried I told her she needs to lose some weight. No it wasn't said the best way, but I've been hinting at this for several years now. I just can't bear the thought of having a child with her and having this marriage fall apart. I couldn't live with myself if this happened. I feel so lost and lonely. I know what I have to finally do...would like to get some advice as I don't have anyone to go to about this.


Ahhhhh...so you cheated with her and then married her?
Not exactly a firm foundation to build a marriage on.

I dont like to be cut and dry but you two need to seperate before children enter the picture.

Then you need to start working on yourself and try to discover why you cant keep it in your pants.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Please leave her so she can find a halfway decent guy. Then you'll be free to fvck whatever cheap hoe you want.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Please leave her so she can find a halfway decent guy. Then you'll be free to fvck whatever cheap hoe you want.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree: Do this sooner than later. Do not waste any more of her time and life.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> Please leave her so she can find a halfway decent guy. Then you'll be free to fvck whatever cheap hoe you want.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He may deserve it, but this is extremely unhelpful.


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## Pleaser44 (May 5, 2015)

PolarBear: My husband and I have been together for almost 20yrs. Married now for 10, had a separation in there for 2.5yrs. Today, we are discussing seperation AGAIN  My husband INSISTS it's the medication he is on that affects him with id. this is EXTREMELY difficult on me and take it personally. Believe it or not, your wife KNOWS how you are feeling. she may not voice it as she is in denial. Take the higher ground and gently tell her that you are ready to part ways. As hard as it is, at least you can walk away with your head held high and you can both move on.
Good luck!


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