# Guys, help me understand this.



## gameon329 (Jun 29, 2016)

Dear sirs,

I asked my husband(via text) to answer this question after he arrive back home from work. Meaning, i gave him some time if he wants to think of his answer first.

The question was:

If you get satifying sex (quantity and quality), will you stop seeking porn (pic/video)? I won't cry, scream or treat you unkindly. I just want to know.

he reaplied my text saying he is tired of this. He is tired to answer. I asked why and he said he got to go do some work.

I replied he can answer it after work, after he had some rest at home. No reply at all. Not even an OK.


Does this mean he won't stop porn?
----

background story : skip if you wish.

Married for almost five years. Two young children: 4 and 1 yo

I caught him on porn third time recently. First and second time i forgave and move on quickly. But we never got to an agreement/solution. He knew it is wrong (according to our religion) and it hurts me (I feel betrayed. i dont need you to explain why porn is ok).

Now for the third time, i decided i can't accept this behavior in my marriage. ive told him dont ever think i will tolerate this behavior, dont ever think i wont dare to leave this marriage.

Yesterday we argued again and it becoming real clear that he wont budge on stopping porn. He reasoned that it is just pixels, he has right to masturbate, the women have no meaning to him , he has urges and i can't be there for him all the time. 

Yesterday he even seemed like not bothered if we are divorced because of this. he used the word "divorced" first, not me.

(he said if i ever told anyone again about any of our marriage issues, he'll divorced me. i made a mistake of telling his mum he watched porn recently)

The talk was started by me. I told him i feel betrayed (he cut my off here by stating the above statement) and my trust for him is broken. But im willing to give this relationship a chance. But there is a condition: read 4 articles and tell me what he gotten out of them.

He did. 

So, just now today, i thought i could do my part to help him stop porn... but what can you tell me, guys, based on what you have read? 

Am i blind?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Question.....is it a particular type of porn he is watching?


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

He isn't going to change. He isn't going to all of the sudden want to stop because he finds it wrong. He is just going to hide it better, and when you make someone hide something better, they learn to hide a lot of things better.

You have to determine what road you want to go down. Trying to make your husband stop doing something he most likely won't stop doing and then start hiding it better, or move on with your life...or, just deal with it, forsake god and become a heathen...


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

This isn't about porn. At the very least, it's about understanding...maybe about tolerance, perhaps your own sexual values or even your sexual relationship.

Two things stand out:

1) Txting isn't the best way to address something that's important. 

Better to wait and give it the proper attention and time it apparently deserves by waiting until you can have a quiet, face to face conversation.

2) If you back yourself into a corner here by placing your religious beliefs over his behavior then you might not like the outcome. 

Is it worth ending your marriage? I'm not at all supporting his behavior, but neither would I support your inflexibility. Marriage is about compromise. You have to decide what is tolerable or not, but I'd encourage you to look at the larger picture which is the actual quality of the relationship itself as well as your willingness to potentially change that over any one particular issue.

To answer your final question, I do not think you're "blind", but I do think you're a bit myopic for looking at this without appreciating the detail to fully understand what it is you're so bothered by.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

@Unicus is right on #1 above. I hate to get those type of texts (not porn related) when at work. That just makes him defensive and pi$$ed. 

But yes, it is about the porn. He is addicted to it as much as he would be addicted to another woman. You have to decide whether or not you are going to accept that. Unlike an affair, there is no "exposure" to break the fog, unless you want to tell friends that he watches porn, to which they will say "So what. All guys do."


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> @Unicus is right on #1 above. I hate to get those type of texts (not porn related) when at work. That just makes him defensive and pi$$ed.
> 
> But yes, it is about the porn. He is addicted to it as much as he would be addicted to another woman. You have to decide whether or not you are going to accept that. Unlike an affair, there is no "exposure" to break the fog, unless you want to tell friends that he watches porn, to which they will say "So what. All guys do."


Methinks Unicus is right on #1 AND #2 above, as well...:grin2:

It's not best to project your own values onto another's situation, there's absolutely no indication whatsoever that the husband's frequency of porn falls into the"Out of control" category, nor could it be even remotely compared to an "Addiction" (?) to another, live woman...that's both unnecessarily scary and inaccurate. 

By doing so, rather than help the OP get out of the cul de sac she's so tightly squeezed herself into, your support here make it more likely she'll feel vindicated, which potentially increases both the acrimony and his continuing to use the "D" word. Is that wise?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I'd say the problem is yours, OP, not your husband's. If he isn't neglecting you in favor or porn, and your sex life is good, then there isn't a problem, other than perhaps your attitudes towards porn. You can make an issue of it, but he doesn't want to cave in to what he sees as unreasonable and controlling demands, so you may lose him if you keep pushing it.

Relationships work best when you can accept your partner as they are. You can ask them to change, but it has to be their choice. If it's something that's a deal-breaker issue for you, then so be it.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

gameon329 said:


> Dear sirs,
> 
> I asked my husband(via text) to answer this question after he arrive back home from work. Meaning, i gave him some time if he wants to think of his answer first.
> 
> ...


Your husband has chosen porn over your marriage and your shared religious beliefs. Combined with the lack of response to your concerns and you have a situation that doesn't look good. 





gameon329 said:


> background story : skip if you wish.
> 
> Married for almost five years. Two young children: 4 and 1 yo
> 
> ...


I don't think you are blind but I do think you've closed your eyes to the facts. 

He's made porn a priority over your marriage. Additionally, he's gone so far as to break the covenants of his faith to partake in it. Bluntly speaking, porn is both a new mistress that he chooses to coddle and spoil, and his new God to worship. He won't address your concerns because he knows it'll mean limiting his time with both. 

The fact that he's threatened divorce over discussing your concerns tells me that you have absolutely zero chance of changing his ideas on the subject. It's now up to you to decide whether you want to live in a relationship with someone who treats you like the lowest priority in his life.


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## KJ_Simmons (Jan 12, 2016)

I could chime in, but I don't think I'd be able to convey my message as tactful as Unicus. Well said sir.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Unicus said:


> It's not best to project your own values onto another's situation, there's *absolutely no indication whatsoever that the husband's frequency of porn falls into the"Out of control" category,* nor could it be even remotely compared to an "Addiction" (?) to another, live woman...that's both unnecessarily scary and inaccurate.


"it becoming real clear that he wont budge on stopping porn" is a strong indicator of addiction.

I am not projecting. I don't do porn, nor have any religious or moral issues related to it. 

As for "nor could it be even remotely compared to an "Addiction" (?) to another, live woman...that's both unnecessarily scary and inaccurate.", you are dead wrong. It happens. I suggest you read Andy101's thread. Scary yes, inaccurate, unfortunately not.



Unicus said:


> By doing so, rather than help the OP get out of the cul de sac she's so tightly squeezed herself into, your support here make it more likely she'll feel vindicated, which potentially increases both the acrimony and his continuing to use the "D" word. Is that wise?


If this is a deal breaker, then OP has the right to pursue her options. Since you are not woman, you do not know how a woman would respond to this situation. Read what @Lila just posted. Read Andy101's story.


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> "it becoming real clear that he wont budge on stopping porn" is a strong indicator of addiction.
> 
> I am not projecting. I don't do porn, nor have any religious or moral issues related to it.
> 
> As for "nor could it be even remotely compared to an "Addiction" (?) to another, live woman...that's both unnecessarily scary and inaccurate.", you are dead wrong. It happens. I suggest you read Andy101's thread. Scary yes, inaccurate, unfortunately not.


You are projecting if you use your own experience to pass judgement on another situation that has nothing to do with you. 

You migth disagree with me, and you are clearly entitled to do so and for whatever reason or based on whatever understanding or misunderstanding of the situation at hand or my comments about them, but you are not entitled to say I (or anyone, ftm) is "Dead wrong" based totally on your own opinion. It is that use of hyperbole and extreme prejudice coupled with a totally undeserved sense of your own wisdom and entitlement that gets folks into the problems with other people in their lives that we see here.

Other than that, Methinks Unicus is correct here on both original points, #1 and #2...0, and he hopes he doesn't have to comment on Lila's revealing diatribe....


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

If you want him to stop watching porn, then find out what he's looking at & see what options you can have instead of it. 

Why should he give up something (in his mind) when there is nothing in return but nagging by you? 

You've added humiliation on him by telling his mother. 
That was wrong of you. 
Then you threaten him via text at work? 

He's says he's tired off your behaviour. 
Men respond to kindness & consideration. You would have gotten him to stop in the past by being nice & trying to understand why he looks at it. 

But now that you've scolded him, he may no longer trust you. 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Hi OP! I have to agree with the rest of the other posters. You're making a big deal out of nothing. Instead of getting upset about it find out what he is watching and maybe you can help him achieve a fantasy of his.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> "it becoming real clear that he wont budge on stopping porn" is a strong indicator of addiction.


Remotely possible, but I completely disagree. I think he is only establishing his boundaries in not letting someone else control his mind and body.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@gameon329

Something I didn't mention in my post but I think you should hear. Do not let anyone tell you to that you're making a big deal out of nothing or nagging him about senseless stuff. If this is an important concern to you, then it IS a big deal and he should be working with you to address it. 

Recognize that you cannot control your husband but you can control what you allow into your life. Make sure that when you speak to him, you state your position and state it clearly. Make it a boundary in the marriage. Note that boundaries are not ultimatums - they are about what you will or will not accept in YOUR life. Once you've established the boundaries, then it's up to your husband to respect those boundaries or move on. 

Read Boundaries in Marriage by henry cloud and john townsend for more information on establishing those.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Agreed with many others... never, ever get into important relationship discussions over text.

What is your faith (and denomination) so I may understand leveled cause and effect of lust? I only ask because many denominations see things differently.

I believe the type of porn does leave bread crumbs to what the individual is looking for to be supplemented in a relationship... anything from body type, to positions or act a spouse will not participate in, to simply seeing another individual fully aroused and inviting, enjoying the visual excitement and encouraging a virtual participation that is not felt in the home.

That he has said outright "I don't care if you don't like it, I am going to do it anyway" shares that he doesn't have much faith in being able to have a more honest conversation, I am sure he knows neither family nor faith is going to rally behind him, and he is already mentally shamed by both. There also may be other things in the way but will not come out until counseling/therapy is approached. 

If you encouraged him to share with a non-faith affiliated counselor would he go? There would be an open, nonjudgemental place he could determine why he would place such a priority to it. Thing is... while he is there, you must give him the freedom to navigate without additional judgement and with total privacy, he doesn't have to share with you what he isn't ready to share... and you not share with family.

Understanding desire is a tough gig... but worth the effort to take control of and not the other way around.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Lila's post gives an appropriate way to handle the situation. You may not get an outcome you want, but you will keep you values and self-respect, and he'll keep his.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Unicus said:


> You are projecting if you use your own experience to pass judgement on another situation that has nothing to do with you.
> 
> You migth disagree with me, and you are clearly entitled to do so and for whatever reason or based on whatever understanding or misunderstanding of the situation at hand or my comments about them, but you are not entitled to say I (or anyone, ftm) is "Dead wrong" based totally on your own opinion. It is that use of hyperbole and extreme prejudice coupled with a totally undeserved sense of your own wisdom and entitlement that gets folks into the problems with other people in their lives that we see here.
> 
> Other than that, Methinks Unicus is correct here on both original points, #1 and #2...0, and he hopes he doesn't have to comment on Lila's revealing diatribe....


Bickering will get us both banned. My initial comment was that I agree with you on #1, for the benefit of OP to know another poster agrees with same. 

There is no reason to continually disagree and post back to every poster who does not share your believes. That is a sure way to get banned and Elegirl has already issued a warning. 

You state advice in absolutes. There are no absolutes. And to avoid a ban, I will direct the rest of the post to OP.

OP, you will get differing opinions and advice in this thread. Never follow any advice blindly. If you need clarification, ask the general group or a specific poster. If you find some advice particularly attractive, or confusing, I suggest you ask that poster what their personal experience is. You will find many people offering advice based on little to no knowledge, and who just like to pretend they know something on the subject or just spout out general but useless advice, while others may have gone through your exact situation.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Married but Happy said:


> Remotely possible, but I completely disagree. I think he is only establishing his boundaries in not letting someone else control his mind and body.


Ok. But many alcoholics use the same excuse.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Porn use is something that really needs to be discussed prior to marriage. If he was hiding his porn habit, then by all means be pissed. Now you have to decide, can he stop? will he stop? can you live with it if he doesn't stop? what recourse will you pursue if he doesn't stop and you can't live with it?

My personal view is there is nothing wrong with viewing images of pretty women and getting turned on. Viewing of 'responsibly' made porn can be fun as well. By responsibly made, I mean stuff that is main stream. Filmed in the USA or Canada, with documented actors and actresses. The internet porn industry can be pretty scuzy and you don't want to support that. 

I like it when I view it with my woman. We get worked up, we laugh (because, yes, much of it is corny and low budget) and it adds some spice and variety to our sex life. I think that variety is important to male libido, and porn (or at least erotic images) is a good safe way to have that in your sex life.

Now, if he is hiding his porn use, and his masturbation habit is interfering with a healthy and happy sex life with you. Then he has a problem and needs help. Just realize he has to want to stop. You can't make him. All you can do is decide what to do if he won't.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> OP, you will get differing opinions and advice in this thread. Never follow any advice blindly. If you need clarification, ask the general group or a specific poster. If you find some advice particularly attractive, or confusing, I suggest you ask that poster what their personal experience is. You will find many people offering advice based on little to no knowledge, and who just like to pretend they know something on the subject or just spout out general but useless advice, while others may have gone through your exact situation.


+1

But also never doubt the power of the right word at the right time... as general as it may be, sometimes alignment is critical for the proper picture to be not just fully seen, but understood.


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

Lila said:


> Something I didn't mention in my post but I think you should hear. Do not let anyone tell you to that you're making a big deal out of nothing or nagging him about senseless stuff. If this is an important concern to you, then it IS a big deal and he should be working with you to address it.
> 
> Recognize that you cannot control your husband but you can control what you allow into your life. Make sure that when you speak to him, you state your position and state it clearly. Make it a boundary in the marriage. Note that boundaries are not ultimatums - they are about what you will or will not accept in YOUR life. Once you've established the boundaries, then it's up to your husband to respect those boundaries or move on.
> 
> Read Boundaries in Marriage by henry cloud and john townsend for more information on establishing those.


..I was so hoping not to go here with you, but you just keep responding with self righteous dogma that does nothing to help resolve what is becoming a serious threat to their marriage.

The issue isn't so much "Boundaries", as it is expectations and tolerance..especially when those expectations aren't met. His viewing porn is not in her life..if anything, she has inserted it there.

There are real questions here about values and morals and expectations, but the other issue that you're incomprehensibly dismissing is HOW they negotiate those situations that do not live up to her expectations. You're simply supporting her "Standing her ground"... substituting some contradictory psychobabble about not using ultimatums yet setting boundaries. What she really needs isn't your over identifying with her self justified inflexibility in addressing conflict or missed expectations, but rather the tools to understand what the real issues are, how to manage her own dashed expectations, and more successfully negotiate a solution other than conflict or divorce.

Dogma might feel good, but unfortunately it often prevents folks from actually working on real world issues in ways that preserves the actual values inherent behind the beloved dogma, a fact you obviously have (and continue to) miss.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

I like how men or women get married and they have to cut off certain things they have done before they met there SO.


Most likely OP your husband didn't start watching porn yesterday, but he has been watching it since he was a teenagerand before you met.

Majority of men like watching porn they release the stored up energy and go about thre day. 

I believe your husband is telling you the truth that he is releasing himself when you're not around.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Dogma has a powerful influence and cannot be discounted in the solution if present... if faith is to be lived, it must be respected and factor into the solution for success.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I view porn as a form of masturbation aid, basically a form of sex toy. 

I think porn is OK if it does not interfere with ones sex life with a partner, and a problem if it does. So if he is generally happy to be sexual with his partner, I do not see porn as a big problem. If porn usage is causing him to want unreasonable things in bed, that is also a problem. 


Arguments over this can be very troublesome because porn means such different things to different people. 

To her, porn probably looks like him interacting with other women. Maybe it is degrading gross, she worries about being compared to the women in porn. She doesn't understand why he wants it when he has her. Why does he think it is more important than she is


To him, porn is probably just an extension of masturbation, his own private business. He probably feels that she has no more right to tell him not to use porn, than he does to tell her not to masturbate. It is not a substitute or in competition with her, is is just a quick stress reliever.


The furthest I think is reasonable to go with disallowing porn is a "right of first refusal". He agrees that when he is interested in looking at porn, he gets to ask her for sexual activity instead, and only watch if she turns him down. If he just wants quick release she provides that. 

I'd put the same limit on her using a vibrator - if it bothers him, then its OK to ask her not to, but he needs to be ready to to give her oral or whatever she prefers whenever she wants to get off. (again with not requirement for a long session).

I think its easier though if he just limits his porn use so that it doesn't interfere with their sex life, and if by bad luck he has had an O to recently to have PIV sex with her when she wants it, he always provides something else.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Unicus said:


> ..*I was so hoping not to go here with you, but you just keep responding with self righteous dogma that does nothing to help resolve what is becoming a serious threat to their marriage.*


I think it's time for you to take your own advice. 



Unicus said:


> *You migth disagree with me, and you are clearly entitled to do so and for whatever reason or based on whatever understanding or misunderstanding of the situation at hand or my comments about them, but you are not entitled to say I (or anyone, ftm) is "Dead wrong" based totally on your own opinion. * It is that use of hyperbole and extreme prejudice coupled with a totally undeserved sense of your own wisdom and entitlement that gets folks into the problems with other people in their lives that we see here..



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Unicus said:


> The issue isn't so much "Boundaries", as it is expectations and tolerance..especially when those expectations aren't met. His viewing porn is not in her life..if anything, she has inserted it there.
> 
> There are real questions here about values and morals and expectations, but the other issue that you're incomprehensibly dismissing is HOW they negotiate those situations that do not live up to her expectations. *You're simply supporting her "Standing her ground"... substituting some contradictory psychobabble about not using ultimatums yet setting boundaries.* What she really needs isn't your over identifying with her self justified inflexibility in addressing conflict or missed expectations, but rather the tools to understand what the real issues are, how to manage her own dashed expectations, and more successfully negotiate a solution other than conflict or divorce.
> 
> Dogma might feel good, but unfortunately it often prevents folks from actually working on real world issues in ways that preserves the actual values inherent behind the beloved dogma, a fact you obviously have (and continue to) miss.


Boundaries may sound like psychobabble to you but they are in fact rather common. You are advocating the OP to set-aside her religious convictions, accept her husband's porn as 'okay' when she feels anything but, and just rugsweep her feelings in order for her to keep her marriage to a man who has shown to not give a damn about her concerns. This is classic doormat advice. 

You continue to advice men and women on TAM to be doormats, that's your prerogative, but I prefer to empower them with boundaries. Seek to understand - Sure. Accept behaviors and actions that go against one's personal values and religious beliefs - Absolutely not.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Are you willing to end your marriage over this?

That is the ultimate question you have to answer for yourself. If you can't stand his porn use, and there's no reason you should be required to do so, and if he won't stop, and there's no reason he should be required to do so, then you're left with but a single option.

As they say, choose your battles. Just be very careful in thinking that you will find another mate who meets all of your husband's current marriage criteria plus no porn use. You may be in for a long, frustrating, and agonizing search. Which is, of course, your right.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

After reading the original post, I am of the opinion that the OP is a control freak. I don't mean that her concerns don't have merit, just that she is trying to "control" his behavior instead of trying to "change" his behavior.

First, you never text something that is confrontational and needs to be openly discussed in person and at home. His first reaction was likely defensive, setting up the conversation as a confrontation instead of a "talk" between two adults.

Secondly, she is asking if she were to give him satisfying sex (both in quality and quantity), would he stop looking at porn. That tells me that she hasn't been doing this all along. Why? Does she have sexual hang ups that prevent her from being the woman she needs to be (within reason, of course) for her husband? If she hasn't been taking "care" of her husband when he needs (need and want are interchangeable here) it, she needs to read what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7.

Thirdly, she told his mother about it? Wow. That is another red flag to her being a "control freak". She humiliated him by doing that. He is in full defensive mode now because, in his mind, his wife betrayed him.

I agree that porn is definitely a sin. It is also a forgivable sin. I think, as a wife, if she wants to save the marriage (divorce can also be a sin if for the wrong reasons) she should cease trying to "control" him, and work more toward trying to get him to change. You will never change somebody by controlling them. That just makes them even more defensive. He has an addiction, in my opinion, and the only way to get him to change is to get him to actually admit there's a problem. More importantly, HIS sin is not HER sin, and if she really cares about his salvation she will work toward resolution of the problem, provided he will, too.

The OP asked, "Am I blind?" The answer is yes. She is blinded by rage, and not understanding that he has an addiction. No amount of her controlling his behavior will change his behavior. That's something only he can do. Ultimatums don't address the root of the problem, and ordinarily don't work in permanence when addiction is involved.

Does she truly trust God to help them through this? Is it just her that has had their trust broken? No. If she wants to save the marriage and her family, she needs to cede control over to her faith, pray, and be there for him. In order for him to stop porn, she will have to rebuild the trust, he will have to admit to the problem, and they will have to address it together, likely through counseling. If none of this works, she can leave as she wishes. In a non-Christian world she can leave for any reason.

I may get blasted, but that is my $.02


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

Lila said:


> I think it's time for you to take your own advice.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I advise men and women to listen to each other and resolve their differences. I am not advocating the OP in this situation (or any other) to set aside anything, but rather to look at the situation in ways that gets around their self imposed emotional road blocks. You're confusing my approach with your own. You use "Inflexibility" with "Boundaries" interchangeably. They're not. There's a time for limit setting, and then there's a time for discussion. I'm not saying she (or anyone else) should accept behavior they are uncomfortable with or find unacceptable, but rather this difference should result in dialogue rather than limit setting, especially since the stated goal of the OP was de escalation. Your approach, wrapped up as it is in false self righteousness, almost guarantees an escalation or worse.

It's regrettable you cannot see all this. Hopefully, the OP can and as has been said, make a determination not based on advice that provides vindication but resolution.


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## gameon329 (Jun 29, 2016)

Thank you everyone.

After reading all of your comments and advices and after a good long cry(of feeling betrayed and fear of uncertainty), i'm wiser now.

My husband and i are opposites at almost anything: opinions, attitudes, personality etc. I'm the sensitive and tactful one and he is the blunt and carefree one. 

So it makes sense how he doesn't get it how i could feel betrayed by him watching pixelated meaningless women . He does care about me, just not so much in this issue... must be due to his life long old habit of watching porn. Addiction? Maybe it is addiction doing the talking here.



Like two of you said, i realized this porn case is like any other differing opinions. Gotta agree to disagree. Seeing how he doesnt perceived it as betraying me, lessen my hurt. He is doing it for himself, not to hurt me..

Nonetheless, we both agreed it is wrong morally to see naked women/men who are not our spouses. He agreed to try to stop and to try until he is permanently porn free.

It's just the uncertainty of when and will he succeed that is hurting me, the fear of continuos betrayal (since he doesnt want to do research on porn addiction and ways to avoid porn) Like one of you said, i can only nudge him to where i want him to go but ultimately it is his journey. I can only be there and give loving nudges.

I am not perfect and yes i made a mistake of telling his mum and just recently, my mum and sister. Was i controlling? I didnt intent to control but felt trapped and emotional which might made me behave in a "controlling manner". Shall mentally prepare a different response in case a similar situation appear.

I also realized i got a lot to learn in the sex quality control and man-caring area. To be fair, i had two very dependent children and i was always tired. My near goal is to be my most attractive self ...this hit me just after i read through marriedmansexlife blog.

Thank you all. I really appreciated it. We almost seperated/divorced. Reading your comments has helped me think with my head more.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

To answer your original question, if my wife offered up more sex, yes I would give up porn. I only use it as a masturbation aid and nothing else. I equate it to a woman using a vibrator. It helps get me to where I want to be. I don't look at any porn actress and long for her. I only want my wife.


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