# Affair, Half-Siblings, and Divorce



## Elyse3 (Jan 22, 2021)

After almost 21 years together, and 11 years married, I have finally decided to file for divorce because of my stbx’s affair. The affair began in early 2017, I found out in March 2018 and that she was expecting (stayed with him), but then found out in August 2019 that he was still in a relationship with her so I left. She got pregnant again and gave birth this past August. He continues to tell me that he wants to have a life with me but continues the relationship with her. He was living with her and all her children (2 from her previous marriage and the 2 with him) around our kids. He continues to deny being with her and having her around our children (ages boy-9 with Autism, girls 7 & 4) and they still do not know those children are their 1/2 siblings. 

Now I don’t know how to approach the whole situation with my children. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

"The problem is all inside your head"
She said to me
"The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover"

She said, "It's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover" 

*50 Ways to Leave Your Lover *
* Paul Simon*


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Elyse3 said:


> After almost 21 years together, and 11 years married, I have finally decided to file for divorce because of my stbx’s affair. The affair began in early 2017, I found out in March 2018 and that she was expecting (stayed with him), but then found out in August 2019 that he was still in a relationship with her so I left. She got pregnant again and gave birth this past August. He continues to tell me that he wants to have a life with me but continues the relationship with her. He was living with her and all her children (2 from her previous marriage and the 2 with him) around our kids. He continues to deny being with her and having her around our children (ages boy-9 with Autism, girls 7 & 4) and they still do not know those children are their 1/2 siblings.
> 
> Now I don’t know how to approach the whole situation with my children. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.



Who is paying for all these kids, does he give her child support?


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## Elyse3 (Jan 22, 2021)

QuietRiot said:


> Who is paying for all these kids, does he give her child support?


Not sure how this applies to my question...but he pays both of us child support. She also gets some support from her ex-husband for her kids with him.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Elyse3 said:


> Not sure how this applies to my question...but he pays both of us child support. She also gets some support from her ex-husband for her kids with him.


Because those kids are in your kids life forever. And it seems like you want him in your life he is just too much of a jerk to make a decision. He put you all into a nice mess.

As for what to tell your kids? Well... being that they have two more siblings in the world and you cannot keep them out of your kids lives... I’d tell them the truth. (And try to live as far away as possible from that mess)


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