# Opened a bank account in my name and W freaked out.



## mjinnc (Apr 4, 2010)

My wife and I have been married 5 years, but we were both older (late 30's) when we married. We both had managed our own finances up until we got married. After we married my wife took over the day to day bills, budget, etc. She likes doing that and I don't. So it's it's worked out well, but she tends to get a little crazy about knowing all our financial details. This morning I told her that I had opened a new bank account (that gave us a better interest rate and some diversity). Her first response was "Why didn't you ask me", her second was "Is it in both our names", third was "Are you planning on adding money and running off".

Admittedly, the account was in just my name (most all our accounts are joint, but this was a new account and honestly I sometimes just don't think things through). Anyway, I don't know how to take the comments and insinuation that she doesn't trust me. I have no problem adding her to the account, but she started the accusations before even asking if I could do that. She has access to "all" our accounts and could wipe us out and walk anytime. It really hurt that her first thought is the only reason I would "dare" insult her by getting an account in my name is I want to "steal" her money. 

Is this a control issue, or a deeper trust issue. Or am I just a total ass for not thinking ahead and making it a joint account.


----------



## del88 (Mar 24, 2010)

I personally think it would have been better to discuss the reasons for opening the new account and making it a joint account. It's hard to say her suspicion is irrational because of the fact you didn't discuss it with her in advance, and because all of your other accounts were joint accounts. 

I would put your wife of the account immediately and do something really nice for her to show her your sorry, and hopefully, it will all blow over.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If I hadn't married til late 30's and my husband opened another accout, I, too, would suspect him of seeking a 'way out' in case things don't work out.

Sorry, but you are married now. You have to understand that making separate decisions is detrimental to a MARRIAGE. I know it's hard to break old habits, but that's what you have to do if you want to share a life with another person.


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

:iagree: Yep, I have a separate account in my own name and so does my husband. We also have a joint account and we both bank at the same bank and have access to all the accounts through the bank website. We also split the bills. It's been like this since before we were married so it's no big deal. 

I think the red flag to your wife is that you want ahead suddenly, out of the blue and established a separate account in your name only at a separate bank without even discussing it with her. That'd get me worried too. 

I'd take the above advice and make it joint, apologize and if you haven't done so already, consider giving yourselves an allowance and EACH getting a separate account so you each have your own money to do with as you please. I think this is very important to have.


----------



## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

ING had this special on their Orange Savings account and I was interested and almost opened an account but I ran the idea through to husband and he didn't see any reason to open another account but didn't say one way or another if I could or couldn't. He just gave me his opinion. I thought it over and almost opened it but then I didn't want to link our current ck acct to another acct elsewhere so I decided not to do it. 

My point is, it would have been best if you had talked it over with her and heard her opinion. Isn't that what a spouse is there for? Two minds are better than one.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

She sounds like a control freak 

If you were going to save money to run away with later you wouldn't have told her about it. 

I think its reasonable to say this is MY account to do with what I want. as long as you contribute properly to the every day living expences.

when some accuses you of saving money to run away with It would make me suspicious of them!

whats next you better not have any money hidden in your sock drawer.


----------

