# Confused Optimist



## Ksomm (Dec 13, 2019)

I am mother of 3 and newly (3 years) mom to another.... her mother has passed away so I am “mom” but she has gone through a lot and is combative towards me so I am In limbo of loving a child who does not want to love me (she loves being loved but hates the “mothering” part). Dating her father was wonderful, he showed me what love was supposed to feel like but since married, he pulls away more and more each day. I am Sunny, funny and am mostly happy with my life but, also becoming more and more confused as it is not being returned.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long did you date him before you married him? And how long have you been married to him?

How old is his daughter?

It's very hard to deal with a child who does not want you in their lives. I am the step mother of a girl who was like this. Her mother had abandoned her and her brother. She wan angry about her mother. Angry about me. Just angry.

I think that the best you can do is just treat her as best you can and don't expect a lot back from her, at least not at this point.

When my step daughter was about 23 she apologized to me for the way she was as a child and told me that she loves me for sticking by her no matter what.

You might want to try some counseling for your step daughter. The death of a mother is very hard for a child to deal with.

Your issues with your husband are another issue that I'm sure is hard to deal with. Do you think that the problems with his daughter are causing a wedge between you two?


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