# Can No Contact Separation Work?



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Wife just signed a 6 month lease yesterday. We've got the big furniture moved in. I was hoping she would stay there tonight, to get this thing started, but she's concerned about the new paint smell.

Wife had two EAs - one is still going on.

Under normal circumstances - with no other people involved, can a separation truly help?

Of course I won't know much about her contact with her "friend" while she's gone, so that complicates things and makes me think this is just her way of getting one foot out the door.

Even so, I intend to take this seriously and honor our agreements. I'm still trying.

Can this work?


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## jeepmanw518 (Nov 30, 2009)

My wife walked away while I was on training for the Army.

It has made the days easier for me to handle. i was calling my wife everyday. that was bad. my therapist (marriage counselor) said i needed to stop chasing after her or i will lose her for sure.

what would make a cop stop chasing a speeder on the freeway?

I think my wife had or has an emotional affair. she told me she never cheated so i believe her. but she said she flirted to make her self feel better. 

I finally took her picture off my wallpaper on my phone and that has helped alot. 

by not interacting everyday with my wife she may forget about some of the more recent things that i have done to upset her. 

the longer i keep out of contact the more likely she will or could remember the good times.

I hope that helps.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Yes it can work but there are no guarantees.

It will allow you to gain sanity and work on yourself. 

It will allow her to gain perspective and work on herself.

The problem lies that rarely are two people on the same page. Many times there is one that wants the marriage to work and the other is complacent.

I believe this will allow things to come to a "head" quicker rather than a prolonged crisis. 

I've been separated for 4 months...about 3 months no contact.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Thanks. We've agreed to continue weekly therapy - at least I think we have. Its going to be very hard to have NO contact because we have two young children.

But - as of tonight - she is officially an apartment dweller for at least 6 months and I'm at home with my two girls - right where we all belong as far as I'm concerned.

And I feel fine...except for the dog biting the 7 year old while playing with his squeaky. No blood - just drama.


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## betrayed81 (Dec 11, 2009)

i say divorce period if u go that long with out contact might as well hang it up but good luck


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## karajh (Jul 25, 2009)

I am with Betrayed on this one.. it will be better to just cut your ties and move on.. I did the limbo thing for 7 months and I am so much happier now that I have made the decision to move on!


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