# Is this really my life? Or a bad movie ;-(



## evondavis1 (Nov 29, 2012)

I think I might have you all beat with my story! I was with my ex for 7 years. We have a 3 year sold son, lived together, owned a business together, shared everything. Basically we were married without the paperwork. Granted our relationship, just like everyone else's had it's fair share of ups and downs. So about 3 months ago, I had told him I had enough. We were together for 7 years, and not once did he want to talk about marriage and commitment, he always said it was a stupid peice of paper. I made him leave 3 months ago because I knew he was not happy with me, or even with our life. He was always talking to ex's, even though I asked him to stop many times. He was always blowing me and our son off at the last minute. According to him, he checked out of the relationship 5 years ago. So guess what he did - one week later he found a GF who is 13 years younger. ( I am 36 and he is 37). He kept this from me until everyone started to find out on Facebook (the devil's website). Then after 6 weeks, they took off and eloped to Vegas! WOW!! I begged this man for 7 years to give me what he gave her in 6 weeks!!



I am devastated, but I wake every morning and take care of my son. I am in the process of dissolving the company that we have owned together for the last 6 years.


What I don't understand, how can you get married to someone, after 6 weeks, and he doesn't even have a job or place to live? She also lives 3 hours away, and they travel back and forth to see each other. He told me he won't move up to her because of our son. However, I think he should just disappear. He has even had then nerve to ask me to be his friend over and over again for the last 3 months. I really think he lost his mind. A friend wouldn't get married behind your back. A friend wouldn't treat you badly and then tell you that you are the worst GF in the world and that I ruined everything for thim. 


Everyone told me he did it to spite me. I say he probably just found his match and she's just as crazy as he is.


I hope that one day I can get through this. I am so depressed, and after 3 months I still cry. How could he do this??? 

So here is an update. My ex called me last weekend to “rehash” and “get closure” as he said. We went down memory lane and the demise of the relationship for 90 minutes. Still everything is my fault according to him, but I know my truth. I don’t have to defend myself, but I feel like I have to with him always! So towards the end of the conversation, he tell me his new wife is pregnant!!! ***!!!
Mind you, they met less than 4 months ago, 1 week after we broke up. Married her 6 weeks later, and now she is “accidentally” pregnant, and this is still my fault because I kicked him out. I told him he should have been a man and made me happy, but instead he took off on this downward spiral of a life.
The wife is 24, 13 years younger than my ex. A Russian immigrant here in the US on a student VISA. Now the ex is broke, no job because we are dissolving the company we own together, lives with his sister, his wife lives in another state, 3 hours away. No car insurance, no health insurance, not a pot to piss in. Who makes these terrible choices? Yet, it is still my fault because I kicked him out.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Obviously he is driven by a need to be in control. He kept you jumping through hoops with his criticism and on the hook with the baby, until you figured out that it was just a game. Now he has someone else to play the game. He can make out like he's a good guy, married to this younger woman to give her citizenship, and continue to scre* around like he's probably been doing all along. Since she's pregnant she'll probably get all kinds of benefits, which he can use too. What a racket.

Don't worry, you didn't lose anything. It never existed anywhere except as potential in your own imagination. Now you are free to have the real thing.


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## evondavis1 (Nov 29, 2012)

[/QUOTE]
Don't worry, you didn't lose anything. It never existed anywhere except as potential in your own imagination. Now you are free to have the real thing.[/QUOTE]

Oh my gosh, thank you..you are so right. It was my own imagination, pretending and hoping to have a "family" This is what kills me the most, my son, and what this man has done to both of us.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Don't worry, you didn't lose anything. It never existed anywhere except as potential in your own imagination. Now you are free to have the real thing.[/QUOTE]

Oh my gosh, thank you..you are so right. It was my own imagination, pretending and hoping to have a "family" This is what kills me the most, my son, and what this man has done to both of us.[/QUOTE]

Your best assets and traits are always the ones that can be used against you as your Achille's Heel. Don't give up on your dreams! But do protect them in future.

I too have learned from experience. It happens to a lot of people. Some of them are still trapped chasing that carrot on a string. (A sort of phallic reference to be honest, lol.) But, we are free to be chasing after what it is that is real. Treasure your freedom, and don't be fooled into thinking that appearances are always true. People with relationships that you think are what you dream of, sometimes are in the same kind of situations. Know what you know, and follow what your instincts tell you in future. You spoke up for yourself, and you chased off the impostor. Keep speaking up for yourself. The guy who acknowledges your needs and actually meets you halfway or more is the keeper.


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