# Kids being split how do I deal with visits



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Basically my oldest will be with me and the youngest with my wife.

My oldest does not want to be with the OM my wife is or has moved in. Nutshell she did many things in plain sight and the oldest was smart enough to put 2 and 2 together. He knew things I didn't know about and that bothered him because he basically had to just not tell me about it. For example I caught my wife with a secret / burner phone and when we were suppose to be working past it, my son knew she had yet another smaller phone that I did not know about. This all came out in therapy. 

So since I am going to be having my other son every other weekend and on Weds when she works late. 

I will assume my wife will have my oldest the other weekends, but where can she go since he will not go to her apartment with the OM there. If she tries to ambush my son it will be a bad moment for her and the OM. My son will call me. I will express to my wife about not trying to do such foolish things, but she is a bit thickheaded and still in that *"infidelity fog"*.

I was thinking of just offering her to come to my home and I would just go to my mothers who lives right down stairs. Or I would try to set up dates ( with other women ) or something while the EX is at the home. 

Of course I could tell her to just tell the OM to GTFO of the apartment. 

I really do not want to be nice in anyway to my EX but I'm doing it for my son, not her.

So trying to get some real input on this from the TAM folks.


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