# Tired of being the one "reaching out"?



## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

it seems to me that I'm always the one making the first move- text, call, plans, etc. wife, friends, family, pretty much all the same. I'd love to get a text first from the Mrs saying how much she wants to rip my clothes off (ha!)or buddies telling me they have tickets to the big game/new movie, and one has my name on it. heck, even a text from a friend just saying "hey" would be nice some times. Is this pretty typical in other guys lives too? sometimes I feel like I'm living in a void. I'm the one who reaches out/makes the plans/touches base in almost every case, and being frustrated by it makes me feel like no one actually gives a damn unless they need something.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

soulsearch said:


> it seems to me that I'm always the one making the first move- text, call, plans, etc. wife, friends, family, pretty much all the same. I'd love to get a text first from the Mrs saying how much she wants to rip my clothes off (ha!)or buddies telling me they have tickets to the big game/new movie, and one has my name on it. heck, even a text from a friend just saying "hey" would be nice some times. Is this pretty typical in other guys lives too? sometimes I feel like I'm living in a void. I'm the one who reaches out/makes the plans/touches base in almost every case, and being frustrated by it makes me feel like no one actually gives a damn unless they need something.


For what it's worth, the Mrs. doesn't ever text me unless she needs something ... money, pickup something, something related to my daughters. I've tried sexting her ... no response.


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## jayde (Jun 17, 2011)

Pretty much the same for me. W will go thru periods of being really nice (for some reason), but for the most part I send the first txt, call etc. And if I txt "Have a great day!" the reply is often 'u2'


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> For what it's worth, the Mrs. doesn't ever text me unless she needs something ... money, pickup something, something related to my daughters. I've tried sexting her ... no response.


Come to think of it ... the only person who texts me just to say hi is my daughter. Everybody else texts me only when they need something from me. Oh well.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I gave my best friend of many years the deep six because it was always ME who had to coax him to call, it was always ME who made the first move.

And it happens in my M, too. I'm the one who always has to make the first move. I'm always the one who has to "schedule" sex. I'm the one who always touches her first...and gets no response.


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

*Re: Re: Tired of being the one "reaching out"?*



jayde said:


> Pretty much the same for me. W will go thru periods of being really nice (for some reason), but for the most part I send the first txt, call etc. And if I txt "Have a great day!" the reply is often 'u2'


I love the response: "k" as well.

sometimes I just stop texting.... then, of course, I get the whole "how come you stopped" inquiry.


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## Enamored (Dec 25, 2009)

Touched a chord, it seems...:lol:


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

I feel that way with friends too. There was a period were I made a lot of effort to organize fun for people, and I found it was not reciprocated. So I stopped. I think it's probably me, in that I'm not easy to be around, or something. I don't really know. I've accepted it, so will organize fun occasionally when I want it, but don't expect anything in return.

My wife is great around sending texts and being sweet.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

I also realised a while ago that I was the one contacting/visiting friends. 

It does leave a person wondering if those people are in fact your friend especially when they don't reach out when you decide to stop reaching out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I find that true for me with the wife. She rarely ever would initiate a call or text. And when she does it's about something for the kids.

Friends is the opposite. I never really organize anything. I've become a bit of a recluse that way.


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## Majestic Starman (Nov 24, 2013)

I've lost more than a few friendships because it was a one-way effort. It's maddening, especially in the case where you see the other party making effort with others. Sometimes feels that way in some aspects of my marriage.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Pretty much the same here. Wife only texts me to share her feelings or tell me to do something. Can't remember the last time I got a sexy text from her. My friends I don't understand either. When I initiate we seem to have a good time hanging out but they never initiate. Lucky for me I am introvert and would rather spend an evening knocking back a few homebrews and playing Mindcraft then go out.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Tell her


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## soulpotato (Jan 22, 2013)

I'm female, but I REALLY relate. I'm often the initiator in my interactions with others. I drive it all. If I stopped, that would be it, lol!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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