# newlywed, seperated, now he wants me back??



## Chuckyegg (Dec 16, 2011)

Help? i dont know what to do
Ill try and keep this brief! its a long and complicated story..
me and my partner got married after 6 years together, we were best friends. a couple of months before our wedding he started going running with one of his friends girlfriends. this wasnt a problem i sort of knew her, she was in a long term relationship with his friend and all was fine. their facebook chats got flirty after a couple weeks and people regularly asked me about it. i tried to ignore it but it was getting hard especially with the wedding up coming. She and her then BF (my new husbands friend) split up an hour after our wedding ceremony and it ruined our day, after the wedding her and my husband got closer, him claiming she needed support because all of the friends they shared had turned against her because of what happened at our wedding and he was her only friend. it got worse and worse and I asked him what was going on as he was seeing her more and more and i started not to excist. he got angry and called me a bore and a moron. a couple of times i tried to talk to him but he wasnt interested, eventually he became so horrible i asked him to move out (we lived with my parents so we could save for a house) it took about 3 weeks to find somewhere to live (meanwhile still living at my parents house), i eventually found out all their friends had disowned both of them because of their behaviour and that they were thinking of moving in together as she 'had' to leave the house she had shared with her ex long term partner and he had to leave here. even tho he was still living in my parents house with me (he slept on the sofa) we were just ships in the night, not speaking, we couldnt even look at each other. Her ex boyfriend calls me to say its all come out and 'they've' admitted it, they have been 'seeing' each other for about 2 weeks but not slept together. my husband doesnt know ive had the call so i wait for him to tell me, i want to hear it from him. he doesnt, a few days pass and he still doesnt tell me anything (he has said throughout he hasnt cheated never would, they are just friends) i call her ex bf to question it. he then tells me when HE spoke to my husband he denied they were seeing each other but she says its true. so when he called me before to say THEY have admitted it, THEY hadn't, she had. so i was waiting for a confession that was never going to happen if he hadnt confessed to him, i just got the feeling that when he called me before he made it sound like my husband had admitted all, and now was saying he hadnt. 
anyway they eventually moved in together as 'friends' according to him, i had contact with him every couple of days if he had post to collect or another moving box. i am still in contact with her ex and their friends who tell me she has told them they are officially together, sharing a bed and being a couple... i ask him and he denies it. he says they have separate rooms, and that they barely speak because they've ruined both their lives. after about a month of living apart he calls me in tears saying how sorry he is that he put his friendship with her above our marriage and that he wants to try again with us. this came as a shock to me as as far as i had heard they were a couple. he said everything i had heard from his ex friends was rubbish and they are just trying to turn me against him. we've seen and talked alot since, and i think he is serious about working on our marriage... but im so confused why is she saying these things and he's saying they arent true..? just dont know what to do, i want to try again but need to know if they were seeing each other or if she was lying! or if (even tho its unlikely) his friends were lying?! :scratchhead: 
what the hell do i do, so much has happened and i dont know who is lying and who isnt, i said to my husband i want to hear it from her if they arent doing anything but he says she wont speak to me?!? and can we work on our marriage when he still lives with her???? he cant come back here its too soon and up in the air for me to let him back in my life like that. he says he is trying to move out of the house they are renting but money is tight.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Why won't she talk to you?

He is playing you here. Don't be naive. Did he not realize that he was putting the friendship over your marriage when he moved in with her.

Yes, they did have sex, for one month. Base your decisions on this assumption. Try to talk to her.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> Why won't she talk to you?
> 
> He is playing you here. Don't be naive. Did he not realize that he was putting the friendship over your marriage when he moved in with her.
> 
> Yes, they did have sex, for one month. Base your decisions on this assumption. Try to talk to her.


:iagree:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Do you know how to find her without getting your husband involved? Go to her place of work and ask her to have a cup of coffee with you and talk? 

Or go to the place they live when he is not there. See the apartment. Are there two bedrooms? Or is it clear that they share a bed?

If he cared for you he'd be out of her place in a moment's time.


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