# i dont know why



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I got the taxes done today, realized it was the last time as a married couple, not sure whybut it made me sad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

Keep a positive outlook and think of it as a new beginning and a chance to find someone who will treat u as u should be treated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> I got the taxes done today, realized it was the last time as a married couple, not sure whybut it made me sad.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It makes you sad because you're going to have to split the return with the scuzzy ho. That's why it makes you sad. C'mon!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

That would make me sad too.

It's the little things that will trigger some tears.  Wish you well.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

That brings up a good question-being that stbxh and I will have been married for most of 2012 (if he files in June like he's indicating he will) will we still need to file a joint return next year? Just wondering.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

I just did the same thing and was sad too. I did give her half of the return which she has already burned through on frivolous stuff btw.

Anyway, I totally understand. Every time I get the mail and see something with her name I feel sad too.


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

justabovewater said:


> That brings up a good question-being that stbxh and I will have been married for most of 2012 (if he files in June like he's indicating he will) will we still need to file a joint return next year? Just wondering.


He does not have the choice, that will be agreed upon by the 2 of you
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

justabovewater said:


> That brings up a good question-being that stbxh and I will have been married for most of 2012 (if he files in June like he's indicating he will) will we still need to file a joint return next year? Just wondering.


If you both agree to file a joint return then you'll file a joint return, if one or neither of you doesn't want to file jointly then you'll file separately.

I was paying temporary support for years before my divorce was final and I got to write off the spousal support payments plus I wanted to be as disconnected from my exspouse as much as possible as soon as possible so it was "married filing separately" for the years prior to my divorce. Conflict was high, communication was sparse to nonexistent and she didn't even realize I was filing separately and she failed to file a tax return for at least one or maybe two years. I found that rather amusing.


Your mileage may vary.


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

You are sad because it is another 1st. This will happen all along the way until there are no more first times. I am 10 days from being completely done with the "firsts" as it will be officially 1 year divorced. I'm already seeing some things that are happening again and I'm getting the mindset of "been there, done that." Went through first Christmas, first birthdays, first everything. Nothing left. Now that I have those under my belt I have no excuses for hanging on to the sadness anymore. It's all on me now. 

One of the things I started doing was every time I felt that way I made sure to make the occasion memorable in some other way. At Christmas my child and I cut down a tree together and made our own decorations. I never would have done that before. True, it ended up being the ugliest damn tree I've ever seen before in my life but it was ours and we had an awesome time making it. Next Christmas I will remember that ugly, a$$ tree and not think so much about not being an entire family unit as much. 

Baby steps.


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

Good attitude Paradise, and good advise.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Same here, Proud. It was an odd feeling, but as Paradise mentioned, it's just one of the firsts. 

Things like this may cause you to backslide. I have been having my share of those lately, but have been keeping emotions to myself and not contacting her. All you can do is hang on. There will be more of those moments.

All you can do is focus on yourself and live the best life you can... and this will attract the people you want in your life. At least that's my mindset.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Hey all,
Thanks for the good advice. I have noticed that my backslides are not as tough as they used to, the roller coaster rides are not as long. Truth is setting in a little more, as scary as it is. It is funny as the court date looms (sometime in May) I used to get so scared, now I'm just feeling I just want it over with. I don't want to be in limbo anymore, married but not really. I'm also looking forward to moving to my more permanent residence in June. I think the combination of both of these things will help me move forward. On a positive note, i had to go shopping today for work clothes as I've lost so much weight, and I picked up pants that are three sizes smaller than what I was wearing, that made me feel good. I had a therapy appointment today, and just being able to realize and admit that the old wife is gone, and this new wife SUCKS! Even if she were to beg for reconciliation, I wouldn't be able to do it, I can't trust her anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Paradise said:


> You are sad because it is another 1st. This will happen all along the way until there are no more first times. I am 10 days from being completely done with the "firsts" as it will be officially 1 year divorced. I'm already seeing some things that are happening again and I'm getting the mindset of "been there, done that." Went through first Christmas, first birthdays, first everything. Nothing left. Now that I have those under my belt I have no excuses for hanging on to the sadness anymore. It's all on me now.
> 
> One of the things I started doing was every time I felt that way I made sure to make the occasion memorable in some other way. At Christmas my child and I cut down a tree together and made our own decorations. I never would have done that before. True, it ended up being the ugliest damn tree I've ever seen before in my life but it was ours and we had an awesome time making it. Next Christmas I will remember that ugly, a$$ tree and not think so much about not being an entire family unit as much.
> 
> Baby steps.


Thanks for making me smile with the tree. I like that idea ....good for you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Hey all,
> Thanks for the good advice. I have noticed that my backslides are not as tough as they used to, the roller coaster rides are not as long. Truth is setting in a little more, as scary as it is. It is funny as the court date looms (sometime in May) I used to get so scared, now I'm just feeling I just want it over with. I don't want to be in limbo anymore, married but not really. I'm also looking forward to moving to my more permanent residence in June. I think the combination of both of these things will help me move forward. On a positive note, i had to go shopping today for work clothes as I've lost so much weight, and I picked up pants that are three sizes smaller than what I was wearing, that made me feel good. I had a therapy appointment today, and just being able to realize and admit that the old wife is gone, and this new wife SUCKS! Even if she were to beg for reconciliation, I wouldn't be able to do it, I can't trust her anymore.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Congrats on the weight loss! Way to go.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

Keep up the good work, Proud!


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## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

you sound good, proud! happy for ya


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Even if she were to beg for reconciliation, I wouldn't be able to do it, I can't trust her anymore.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE
> 
> I want some of that!! I say it but I don't believe me.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Hey all,
> Thanks for the good advice. I have noticed that my backslides are not as tough as they used to, the roller coaster rides are not as long. Truth is setting in a little more, as scary as it is. It is funny as the court date looms (sometime in May) I used to get so scared, now I'm just feeling I just want it over with. I don't want to be in limbo anymore, married but not really. I'm also looking forward to moving to my more permanent residence in June. I think the combination of both of these things will help me move forward. On a positive note, i had to go shopping today for work clothes as I've lost so much weight, and I picked up pants that are three sizes smaller than what I was wearing, that made me feel good. I had a therapy appointment today, and just being able to realize and admit that the old wife is gone, and this new wife SUCKS! *Even if she were to beg for reconciliation, I wouldn't be able to do it, I can't trust her anymore.*_Posted via Mobile Device_


I can say ditto to most of this for me too! Congrats on weight loss!!  
I can't trust my H either, but if he begged and showed remorse and offered some grand gestures I'd give him one more shot at my hot self  lol 
BUT my kids are telling me to FILE and are DONE with him and our problems, so it's less and less likely that it will happen.


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