# So tired of trying.



## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

I'm so tired of trying to get pregnant. I just want to be pregnant already. This whole process is frustrating. I'm so depressed over this right now...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## time2heal (Jun 13, 2012)

I'm with you there. Not to mention the emotional ups and downs. 

I mean, trying is fun. but not being successful month after month is emotionally exhausting. 

Then, there are those people who can't avoid getting pregnant. Birth Control, nothing, works for them.

A year or two ago, I looked down on those people, thinking they must not know how to use a condom, or how to take their birth control right if they got pregnant while using/on it.

Now I look at those people and hate them. I'm so freaking jealous, and I eat a slice of humble pie as I think that maybe the fact that I was able to avoid having children for so long didn't have as much to do with my knowledge of how to properly use birth control devices, as it did my lack of ability to make babies. 

For those of you who can say, "my husband just looks at me and I get pregnant" or "I just think about having a baby and I get pregnant" shut up, I don't want to hear it.


----------



## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

I can't even say there are any emotional ups. It's all downs and depression. There is literally no hope left in my body. I have emotionally given up, and don't even know why I bother thinkg about it. Every thought I have about pregnancy at this point is negative. I want a baby more than anything, as does my husband.

It has gotten to the point where trying isn't even fun anymore. We don't even refer to it as trying, it's just sex. 

I see the longer that this goes on with me, the more negative I am towards those who have unwanted pregnancy, and I've come to resent them. My high school best friend and I started trying to get pregnant at the same time. I have seen her three year old daughter 3 times, and have never met her one year old son. We drifted so far apart because of my struggles(more her pulling away). 

I know my ability to not have children prior to marriage was due to my knowledge and proper use of birth control. I simply had a miscarriage, and a horrible OB/GYN who screwed up my body. 

I'm so tired of hearing things like "when the time is right" or "relax, it will happen". Who are they to say the time isn't right, and relaxing isn't a cure all of infertility. Even worse is "God will give you a baby if you are meant to be a mother, just be patient". Do you really think that I would be that bad of a mother that God is preventing me from having a child? If that's the case, why does God give babies to women who are only going to abort them? 

I have become such a negative person over this, and went from being a Christian woman, to being so full of doubt, I avoid the subject of religion as much as humanly possible. How am I supposed to have faith in God, when he is keeping me from having the most wonderful gift I could ever recieve, yet giving it to people who don't want or deserve it?


----------



## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

*hugs* I am so sorry, dears.


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

It can be so disappointing and frustrating to try so actively. Make sure you are finding ways to get your mind off of the situation sometimes because stress is not going to help, either. All that negativity is not going to be helpful. It's good that you're venting about it. Remember, that all you can do is follow the steps the best way you know how and then let it be.

Have you tried consulting a fertility expert? Why not just take the focus off of the outcome for a while and instead of trying for a baby, just try to have as much romance and sex as possible and try to make it fun. Maybe it will sneak up on you when you least expect it, but, you're putting so much pressure on yourself and that can't be good for you.

Get a massage. Have a spa day. Go on a little mini-vacation together. Do something fun to tone down the stress!


----------



## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

I have fertility problems and have been seeking treatments. Unfortunately it isn't going to just happen on it's own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Tikii said:


> It has gotten to the point where trying isn't even fun anymore. We don't even refer to it as trying, it's just sex.


Can you stop trying and just take a break from it for a while? Not so you can "relax" and magically get pregnant, but so you can reconnect with your husband, and maybe clear your mind a little to gain some perspective.

This has to be be putting a strain on your relationship and marriage, and even if you and your husband are holding it together, it can't hurt to take some time to focus on each or on something other rather than on pregnancy. 

Bring some fun and joy back into your bedroom and your life, refresh, recharge, and then give some thought to your next steps.


----------



## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

Our relationship is just fine. We've taken "breaks" and they are no different than when we do try. This causes no strain on our relationship at all. Sure I'm frustrated but I don't take it out on my husband. We have an amazing sex life. It isn't one or the other. Our marriage is thriving while trying to get pregnant.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

