# Wont give me my things.



## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

so today I went to her work and had her sign papers to get her off my insurance. I asked if I would be able to get my things soon (I have been out a week and she still wont give me my clothes....) and she said no, instead of the soon she usually says. Her dad is controlling everything. We agreed to just split everything and move on, but she got him involved and he is pissed(she has been telling him lies about me and the "bad" things I do for over a year.) I think he is going to try to take everything from me. but to be honest, we dont have any money and it will cost him more in legal fees and a lawyer than it what I will lose just going with it. we have $1800 in debt, and a tv I think she wants. but she is still refusing to talk to me. I am willing to share and give it back just to make this end. but she wont tell me what she wants. I was willing to play nice and just end it, but she is playing dirty and I dont want to be nice anymore. I have a legal consultation appointment set for tomorrow. Maybe I will be able to find out how to get my clothes back...?? any advice with anything else I should be doing


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Get a police escort to go with you to the house so you can get your things.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

if that is an option---I like that girl's answer.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

Do you own or rent? Whose name is on the home? If your name is on it, she can not deny you access without a court order. That is my understanding anyway. At least in TN, I couldn't kick my wife out because it is half her house. If it's half your house, you have every legal right to get in there. She may even be in violation of some law by changing the locks, etc. I agree on the police escort. If it is half your house, they should be more than willing to do that.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Even if it's not your house, it's still YOUR THINGS.

I dealt with this crap from a roommate. I had to go to the police. I wanted my stuff.


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## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

Her grandma owns it. We just rented it. That's my problem. Her dad is the "landlord". I called the police to see what the best way to do it was, and they said they legally they can keep me locked out.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

But they have to give you your things-- clothes, personal stuff, etc.

Or, just walk away from it all and tell her to go Eff herself.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

The best thing you can do is already being...lawyer up brother and handle it in court.


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## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

The only problem is I have no money. her dad is pissed he spent so much on the wedding, it being only a year and a half ago. I mean honestly, I think she wants what I have. tv, playstation. and I would just give them to her to make this end. its not worth. but she is being a huge jerk about it all since her dad started controlling her. so I am thinking maybe I will just let them get a lawyer, so they can spend even more money just to get what I am already willing to give them. If they would just talk to me, they could be saving a ton of money.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

barnot said:


> so today I went to her work and had her sign papers to get her off my insurance. I asked if I would be able to get my things soon (I have been out a week and she still wont give me my clothes....) and she said no, instead of the soon she usually says. Her dad is controlling everything. We agreed to just split everything and move on, but she got him involved and he is pissed(she has been telling him lies about me and the "bad" things I do for over a year.) I think he is going to try to take everything from me. but to be honest, we dont have any money and it will cost him more in legal fees and a lawyer than it what I will lose just going with it. we have $1800 in debt, and a tv I think she wants. but she is still refusing to talk to me. I am willing to share and give it back just to make this end. but she wont tell me what she wants. I was willing to play nice and just end it, but she is playing dirty and I dont want to be nice anymore. I have a legal consultation appointment set for tomorrow. Maybe I will be able to find out how to get my clothes back...?? any advice with anything else I should be doing


I don't think that it is legal for him (her dad) to keep you out if you are actually "renters" unless he is letting you stay there for free.

Even renters have rights, I am assuming in your case, you do not have a rental agreement or this would be a slam dunk if you have been making timely payments to him.

Also, even if you do not have a formal rental agreement, if he is accepting payment from you or both of you, he can possibly get into serious legal trouble with that. And also, in our state we have common law marriage laws (just in case you are not married and have been living together for more than 6 months (in our state)). If you are married than depending on where you live you could be entitled to 50/50 property, which again means she is violating law.

UNLESS I AM MISSING SOMETHING, YOUR LEGAL COUNSEL IS GOING TO GET A WOODY ON THIS ONE. HE IS GOING TO HAVE $$ SIGNS FOR EYEBALLS. GO SEE HIM AS FAST AS YOU CAN.


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## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

brighterlight said:


> I don't think that it is legal for him (her dad) to keep you out if you are actually "renters" unless he is letting you stay there for free.
> 
> Even renters have rights, I am assuming in your case, you do not have a rental agreement or this would be a slam dunk if you have been making timely payments to him.
> 
> ...



When I called the police and asked they said there is nothing that can be done since its a private house. I am... er was paying rent and there is no contract. I am hoping the police were wrong, but I will find out tomorrow when I meet the lawyer. I don't really think I can afford a lawyer, but my work covers a free consultation so i will see what I can and cant do. 

I really dont have anything she can take from me other than our shared debt. which isn't even that much. she is just going to waste her time and money by getting a lawyer.... even though her dad is paying for it... Last night I took a walk with my mom and talk, and the way my wife was acting today definitely opened my eyes. before I missed her and wanted her back. now I am just fed up and done. TAM has really helped me. Whenever I need someone to vent or talk to, you guys are here. Thank you!!


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

barnot said:


> When I called the police and asked they said there is nothing that can be done since its a private house. I am... er was paying rent and there is no contract. I am hoping the police were wrong, but I will find out tomorrow when I meet the lawyer. I don't really think I can afford a lawyer, but my work covers a free consultation so i will see what I can and cant do.
> 
> I really dont have anything she can take from me other than our shared debt. which isn't even that much. she is just going to waste her time and money by getting a lawyer.... even though her dad is paying for it... Last night I took a walk with my mom and talk, and the way my wife was acting today definitely opened my eyes. before I missed her and wanted her back. now I am just fed up and done. TAM has really helped me. Whenever I need someone to vent or talk to, you guys are here. Thank you!!


Yip, we are here anytime. Also, just wondering if you paid him in cash or check. If you have checks, you might be in good shape, if cash, well, it's your word against his that you were paying him. Also, I still would remember to ask the legal counsel about common law statutes in your state. It just doesn't seem reasonable to me that anyone would be allowed to keep your belongings. Comman law, makes a huge difference in some states.


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## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

I did use checks, I will remember to bring that up tomorrow when i am talking with him


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## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

I am having the same problem, but my husband lives 1000+ miles away and actually will not even tell me what state he's living in right now since he moved since we separated. I have been living out of a suitcase for over five months--he has all my clothes, my son's toys and baby furniture, etc. I am just going to have to wait until our divorce is finalized and ask the judge to make him return my things. Sucks. Hopefully your lawyer has some good news for you tomorrow and the police will help you.


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## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

He said there is nothing I can do except include that I want all my things in the divorce agreement. If I go over there I can get arrested for burglery


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

That's ridiculous.

Sorry your stbxw is such a beyotch.


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

barnot said:


> He said there is nothing I can do except include that I want all my things in the divorce agreement. If I go over there I can get arrested for burglery


You'll have to wait this out for court. Get the agreement written up and you will likely get 30 days to get your stuff. If she damages anything, take her to small claims court. Fight. Show her she's not getting your stuff and if she decides to be a pain, you'll make her pay.

OTOH, there's something to be said for walking away. She and her Dad sound like freaks.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Tally up the value and sue her for the value of your possessions. It probably costs about $100 to file in small claims court which is generally good up to $5,000 in damages. If she doesn't appear she loses automatically. Then grab a sheriff's deputy to come to the house and literally repossess everything you can lay your hands on.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

besides the lawyer have you taken the time to sit down and look at tenit-lanlord rights in your state, Granted there is no contract but i strongly suggest you do your own research, looking up your rights in different way with different seniros.

Please sit down and look into some way to get a court order as soon as possibly, sometime you have to talk to different folk of the same orginzation, like asking another cop again about getting your stuff.

Try looking up and see if you can get some legal aid from the state.

I'm just saying if you do the foot work you maybe able to find away to get your stuff sooner then later.


Think out side the box here, call up some hotlines and see if you can get some direction and things like this.


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