# A Close Coworker Committed Suicide



## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

So where to begin?

I work in a Gym and one of the trainers committed suicide. He was a good person but the loss of his long term girlfriend who died from cancer was too much to bear. We use to talk all the time. He killed himself, with a gun, in a park. He did it because he wanted to be with his girlfriend. All I hope is that he is able to see her. My boss tried to get him help he was seeing a therapist. I thought he was getting better. I guess I was wrong. 

-Thanks

K.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I'm sorry that happened, Unfortunately some people don't get the help they are offered and see no way out. Does your employer have a EPA? (Employee Assistance program)? 

Maybe talk to your boss about bringing in a grief counselor for a few hours.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I'm so sorry to read this...how very sad.
(((hugs)))


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Honestly I don't want to talk to a grief counselor and I'm not sure if he has one. My boss is out the country. So he really cant do much. Everyone knows some of his clients pitched in to pay for his funeral. One of our clients was a therapist. He was seeing her and now because he has no family she has to identify the body. Wow.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

waiwera said:


> I'm so sorry to read this...how very sad.
> (((hugs)))


Thanks waiwera. Thank you.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

So sorry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

So sad.....my sympathies...


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear it...he must have been in a very dark place to have done that. Poor guy.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

krismimo said:


> Honestly I don't want to talk to a grief counselor and I'm not sure if he has one. My boss is out the country. So he really cant do much. Everyone knows some of his clients pitched in to pay for his funeral. One of our clients was a therapist. He was seeing her and now because he has no family she has to identify the body. Wow.


We had an employee shot by her boyfriend. We brought in a grief counselor and had her in a office, the employees who wanted to see her could. It seems to have helped. Just putting it out there as we do spend many hours with our coworkers and form friendship with them. Again, I'm sorry that happened.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

mablenc said:


> We had an employee shot by her boyfriend. We brought in a grief counselor and had her in a office, the employees who wanted to see her could. It seems to have helped. Just putting it out there as we do spend many hours with our coworkers and form friendship with them. Again, I'm sorry that happened.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks, it was a wonderful suggestion though.


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## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

My condolences to you and your coworkers.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Thanks movealong.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

I just needed to get this out my system somehow. It feels weird to talk about it here. But I feel it is the only place where I can talk about this and feel "safe".


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

I found the article of where it happened. I think I know where it is. I just feel sort of numb.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

krismimo said:


> So where to begin?
> 
> I work in a Gym and one of the trainers committed suicide. He was a good person but the loss of his long term girlfriend who died from cancer was too much to bear. We use to talk all the time. He killed himself, with a gun, in a park. He did it because he wanted to be with his girlfriend. All I hope is that he is able to see her. My boss tried to get him help he was seeing a therapist. I thought he was getting better. I guess I was wrong.
> 
> ...


Sorry to hear this just realize that you did everything you could and don't think about the what if's. There was a troubled man I knew. He was schizophrenic and due to his mental health was estranged from his wife and child. He killed himself not to long after we had a conversation where he asked me where i lived. I wouldn't tell him. I did it because my wife was uncomfortable about our friendship from her past. I felt profound guilt for awhile but eventually got over it. I talked to his sister and mother and was able to tell her that her son was doing better and that he wasn't alone. I will never forget him but, I can't take the blame for his actions. Make sure you do the same. again I am sorry for your loss.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

badbane said:


> Sorry to hear this just realize that you did everything you could and don't think about the what if's. There was a troubled man I knew. He was schizophrenic and due to his mental health was estranged from his wife and child. He killed himself not to long after we had a conversation where he asked me where i lived. I wouldn't tell him. I did it because my wife was uncomfortable about our friendship from her past. I felt profound guilt for awhile but eventually got over it. I talked to his sister and mother and was able to tell her that her son was doing better and that he wasn't alone. I will never forget him but, I can't take the blame for his actions. Make sure you do the same. again I am sorry for your loss.


Thank you so much that really does help a lot.


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## Fleur de Cactus (Apr 6, 2013)

My deepest sympathies go to you and your team at work. It is traumatizing when such thing happens to someone you know. you want to rewind the event like a the tape and start over, bse you blame yourself that maybe you did not help enough and you want to start and do what you did not do. Hope you will find strength and courage to cope and heal. Hugs


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

So tragic and sad. I'm very sorry.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

thank you very much for responding I know it is not about marriage or something that deals with cheating, sex etc. thank you everyone so much for your thoughts and prayers please understand that this is not easy for me to talk about I don't open up so to speak. I just want to thank you all for your kind words.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Still in shock about everything but coming to terms with it day by day today and and tuesday will be the most difficult he usually comes in during my shift. It sucks but today is a little bit better.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Take care of yourself. Last year one of my coworkers had a stroke at work four feet away from me. It was horrible watching it and not being able to help. 
It took twenty minutes for the medics to get there. 
She died the next day. 
They did bring in a grief counselor a x I talked to her. It helped because she said we spend more time with our coworkers than our family at times. 
She reminded me to let myself grieve and we talked through some things that bothered me about it. 
It was really hard. It took months to get over the shock. 
Im so sorry.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

krismimo said:


> Still in shock about everything but coming to terms with it day by day today and and tuesday will be the most difficult he usually comes in during my shift. It sucks but today is a little bit better.


Feel free to vent here, we're here for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Thank you Diwali, thank you mablenc.

I think I feel confused, part of me is angry that he did this and part of me understands (as crazy as it sounds) why he did that. I think right now is finding the balance between what he did and how to cope with it.

Diwali that is so interesting you mentioned that about someone having a stroke at your work place. That happened to me at my last job. A guy had a stroke he fell to the ground I called 911 and it took them to damn long to get there. I remember seeing his feet on the ground twitching. It was awful. he died a day or two later.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

It is hard to understand why people commit suicide. It's normal to be angry. 
Part of me was angry at my coworker because she was 67 and had a heart condition and diabetes and high BP and never told any of us.
She had been not sticking to her diet at all and eating junk food. It just made me mad that she did that even though it was irrational.


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## tdwal (Jul 28, 2012)

I had a fellow manager come to me when his young second wife left him. He divorced his LTR first wife and the replacement cheated on him. I tried to console him and worked hard to get help from HR and other of his close friends. I didn't know what to say to him but at the time I didn't know he was contemplating suicide. He did a few days later. Very hard to get through the guilt of not being able to help him. Just remember, you were not the cause and if you were able to give him any relief at all you did a good thing. It is very sad.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

tdwal said:


> I had a fellow manager come to me when his young second wife left him. He divorced his LTR first wife and the replacement cheated on him. I tried to console him and worked hard to get help from HR and other of his close friends. I didn't know what to say to him but at the time I didn't know he was contemplating suicide. He did a few days later. Very hard to get through the guilt of not being able to help him. Just remember, you were not the cause and if you were able to give him any relief at all you did a good thing. It is very sad.


Thanks for sharing it helps. It really does. I know I don't blame myself. I just feel betrayed we talked a lot I knew who is girlfriend was. I knew he had no family, he was the only child and the only family he had had passed away. I get it I sympathize. It wasn't to him just some gf she was the love of his life. The "one" that was it. I already felt bad that his one and true love died in front of him but to also have him kill himself because he wanted so badly to be with her. 

I'm not going to lie I don't know what I do if I lost my husband or someone close to me like my family which also includes my friends. I get it, I'm just sad that he is no longer here and he took desperate measures to be with her. And the really sad thing about it is. This is not something she would have wanted. That is the most heart wrenching thing about this whole f**** up situation.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Poor guy. It's really a selfish act. They don't care how it makes other people feel.


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