# My saga



## separate (Mar 6, 2011)

Here's my story:

Back in the fall my x started becoming paranoid about different things. His paranoia soon was pointed in my direction and I was accused of cheating. Not satisfied with my reassurance that he was wrong, he started hacking all my email accounts and reading my online journal. While he never found anything to let him believe I cheated, what he did read in my journal hurt him. I used that blog from 1999-2008ish as a source of venting and it bothered him that I confided in "strangers" about our problems from back then. 

He started keeping phone logs and trying to friend old friends of mine so he could spy. He also stayed home from work on at least one occasion so he could lurk in the basement and spy on me. One time when I was trying to leave the house he jumped out behind the car to try to stop me, then proceeded to let all the air out of the tires. I drove to the end of the subdivision and tried to call for help only to find out he had my cell phone cut off.

In late December I had to have emergency surgery. While I was in the hospital he told me he was getting the room ready for me and building shelves in the closets. What I didn't realize was that he was using that as an excuse to access my private boxes that contained old diaries from before we met (before the computer age, lol). Reading about old loves and relationships bothered him and brought our even more paranoia. 

Then things got even weirder. He became very distant and the Thursday before Valentines Day I found out he had moved his direct deposit to a secret/separate account he created, locking me out of the money. I've been a stay at home mom to a 7 year old little girl. 

He was basically trying to control every aspect of my life. That day we decided we needed a breather. I went to my parents and because he had the car my daughter stayed with him that night so she could get to school. Oh yeah, we have one "working" car...he has an old chevy that he drives on occasion but I dont know how to drive. 

I returned that Monday to find he had changed the locks on the doors. Now I had no money, no car and was locked out of my own house. I managed to get him to agree to letting me have my daughter and the working car on Sunday through Thursday (the days he works) and he would take both from Thursday through Saturday and drive the Chevy to work. 

This worked for about 2 weeks. Last Wednesday he texted me telling me he needed the car for the next 2 weeks. I had a job interview, a doctors apt and also the need to be able to take my daughter to and from school so I told him it wasn't going to work and that he needed to adhere to the schedule we agreed upon. This wasn't good enough so he snuck over that night and basically stole the car leaving me with no way to get my daughter to school.

Now I was nervous. With all this erratic behavior, combined with the fact that he just got a bunch of money from our joint tax return and from stocks from work (about $20,000 which he gave me nothing) I was scared he was going to leave with my daughter and not return. While we were separated he rekindled a relationship with a 15 year old boy who might be his son and who lives out of state. I saw a post on Facebook about him wanting to visit him. The fact that he needed the car all of a sudden made me scared. When he tried to pick up my daughter that Thursday I refused. I spoke to a legal aid lawyer and she said I didn't have to give her back if I felt worried. 

So here I am . I tried so many times this weekend to get him to talk to me. He's too busy playing the wounded spouse and accusing me of not giving our daughter back out of spite for him taking the car. No, it's out of FEAR from him taking the car and not honoring our agreement to the point of being sneaky and not taking no for an answer. His sister keeps posting awful libelous things about me on facebook and when I explain to him my fears he tells me Im just using our daughter as a pawn. 

I just feel awful. I want my daughter to see him but I'm scared. When I dropped her off at school on Friday (my brother stayed the night to drive us) I took her picture in case I needed a current photo for the news  How should a person live in this kind of fear. When we got there to pick her up his car was in the parking lot! We managed to check her out while he was in talking to the principal but I can't tell you the kind of fear I'm living with. And the laws are only good *after* a crime is committed. 

Anyhow, that's my saga. If only my x would talk to me and stop accusing me of things I didn't do. The anger he's currently walking around with is as if I cheated on him (which I hadn't) and that it happened today! It makes no sense. Nothing does.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Your husband probably has a mental health issue. Has he seen someone for this?

Can you talk to his parents or siblings about this situation?


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I would see a lawyer ASAP. He sounds very unstable. Also see if when he is gone you can get into the house and get proof of money and assets, you do not want to be left with nothing for you and your daughter.


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