# GF kicked me out of apartment, wants to meet for key turn-in



## talkitout (Feb 21, 2012)

Need some advice, thanks for reading in advance. GF of 4 years broke up with me, went to stay with her mom while I move out of her apartment. She said we have nothing more to say to one another. She has had zero communication with me for 3 weeks, meanwhile ignoring my attempts to talk. Now that I am moving out she has texted me telling me she wants to meet me at the apartment so I can give her the keys. Why is she insistent we meet when she hasn't wanted to hear from me or see me in 3 weeks? Can't I just leave the keys on kitchen counter, or in the leasing office? How can this possibly end well for me if I meet with her? Any possible ulterior motive?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

She's calling the shots and won't speak to you. 

Did she even tell you why she did this?

While there might not be any alterior motives, I think it's not wise for you to meet her alone in the apartment.

If you really want to talk to her, tell her that you will meet her in a public place like a restaurant.

Otherwise set a time to meet her a the apartment. But instead of being here leave the key and a note. Just say that due to her behavior of refusing to acknowledge your existance for all this time you do not think it wise to meet her in private. And just do not be there.

Then follow the 180 in my signature block below should she try to contact you.

Did one of you cheat? What's her issues?


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## talkitout (Feb 21, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> She's calling the shots and won't speak to you.
> 
> Did she even tell you why she did this?


Not really. Other than a lot of small things have added up. She has said a few times in the recent past that she doesn't love me anymore.




EleGirl said:


> If you really want to talk to her, tell her that you will meet her in a public place like a restaurant.


She wouldn't meet me in public. She could care less about my existence and is very selfish. Her coping mechanism is to avoid anything that makes her feel bad about herself. The truth hurts her.



EleGirl said:


> Did one of you cheat? What's her issues?


I have not cheated, can't speak on her behalf. I do have a short temper at times and am a bit snappy due to a stressful job and sleep deprivation. Her issues, feels unappreciated, blames me for not feeling good about herself anymore.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

TIO, is your name on the lease at all? If so turn in your key to landlord and have your name released from tenancy records also ask to have your share of damage deposit returned. Also, since it is your home, if you had never agreed to move out she can't make you, and depending on your jurisdiction, since you are common law you each are entitled to half of the "marital" assets.

But it seems from your tone that you are simply accepting that its over and just want to move on which is perfectly fine if that's what you want to do. I would CYA and not put yourself in a place where you are in close quarters alone with her, she could very well be setting you up... either just mail her the key or else ask someone to deliver it on your behalf. Good Luck!


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## talkitout (Feb 21, 2012)

Lon said:


> TIO, is your name on the lease at all? If so turn in your key to landlord and have your name released from tenancy records also ask to have your share of damage deposit returned. Also, since it is your home, if you had never agreed to move out she can't make you, and depending on your jurisdiction, since you are common law you each are entitled to half of the "marital" assets.
> 
> But it seems from your tone that you are simply accepting that its over and just want to move on which is perfectly fine if that's what you want to do. I would CYA and not put yourself in a place where you are in close quarters alone with her, she could very well be setting you up... either just mail her the key or else ask someone to deliver it on your behalf. Good Luck!


My name is not on lease.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

So what then do YOU want? if she is done with relationship there really isn't anything you can do to change her mind. But whether or not you want it to be over you still have your rights and she can't dictate you around any more because she has asked to be released from the role of being someone you care about. Not really sure what anyone else on here can tell you, other than try to find something good about having your independence from her problems. Be selfish, it is the only way to get what you want and even are entitled to sometimes, it is not always such a bad thing either.


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## talkitout (Feb 21, 2012)

Lon said:


> So what then do YOU want? if she is done with relationship there really isn't anything you can do to change her mind. But whether or not you want it to be over you still have your rights and she can't dictate you around any more because she has asked to be released from the role of being someone you care about. Not really sure what anyone else on here can tell you, other than try to find something good about having your independence from her problems. Be selfish, it is the only way to get what you want and even are entitled to sometimes, it is not always such a bad thing either.


Just curious why the no contact, the insistence to meet when I could easily leave key in apt and lock up behind me.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Leave the key and go.

No good will come of meeting her especially if she`s insistent on it.

Don`t give her what she wants.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Oh, you should give her a key.
But you should DEFINITELY arrange for and pay a locksmith to change the locks and to give her a NEW key, one that YOU DO NOT HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO COPY. 
IMO, this sounds like an unstable person and she doesn't know which end is up. CYA. That's the advice I would give to a friend. I don't know what's going on between the two of you but I know enough to say that what is turning in a key going to do? Big deal, you could have copied it. The key is a SMOKESCREEN for something. Don't go there. Literally and figurative. Arrange to have the locks changed and walk away. You should NOT be holding a key to that apartment. Before you hem and haw about the cost involved, consider this. What will happen if this woman/girl gets into some kind of serious trouble? In her apartment? Guess who is going to be the first suspect? The guy she kicked out. Make sure you document everything, if you have an attorney, this is something you would discuss with them. Prevention is worth an ounce of 'cure', in this case the cure will hurt, the risk is very great for some kind of trouble. She's already demonstrated that. I am a little paranoid, sure, but if you use debit cards and make sure you have alibis for your time for the next few months, that would be a good idea.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Leave the key at the leasing office and text her that it is there waiting for her.

She's not worth your time.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Text her back telling her your leaving the keys in the office. 

Sorry about the breakup. 

You don't need to meet her. You could also mail them to her if you didn't want to meet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

you're going to have to cya on this one. she seems screwed up in the head, could be setting you up for something. hand the keys to the landlord only,and if possible have him do a tour of the place with you, to see the shape it's in when you left.


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