# Blow job all of a sudden



## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

My wife had an affair 3 years ago. We reconciled and things are seemingly back to "normal".

I still stay vigilant and that's something that will probably never leave me. That being said, something weird happened.

My wife hasn't given me a blow job in years. I used to get them all the time while we were dating but theyes didn't happen much after marriage. About 2 weeks ago she shocked me when she gave me one out of the blue. For about a week, she went crazy and seemed to love it, wanting to give me one almost daily. Then, she just stopped doing it just as quickly as she started. She seemed to lose all interest in it.

Now obviously, anytime unusual things happen, I start thinking. Was there something behind this?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

How did you respond to her blowjobs? Did you attempt to give her the same? Did you say thank you and continue on with your day?


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

Took them, loved them, but she didn't want oral in return.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Hawk,

Not exactly normal behavior. A woman, or man for that matter, does not out of the clear blue sky for no reason, go bonkers performing a new sex act, and then stop for NO REASON. Now that reason can be a bunch of things that are not her cheating again, BUT I believe new sex acts are one of the signs that your spouse MAY be cheating .

I would not put my head in the sand if I were you and I surely would have a frank conversation with her and not accept any bull **** explanation.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Definitely suspicious, OP. I believe your antennas should be up because of this. As you know this behaviour may (notice I said may) mean that there is some secret life going on. This unusual, out-of-the-blue behaviour could mean that so you should do some investigating: phones, emails, social media, the whole nine. See if anything is amiss.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Strange behavior, indeed!

Perhaps there's some ulterior motive!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

hawx20 said:


> Took them, loved them, but she didn't want oral in return.


Maybe oral in return wasn't the reciprocation she needed? Maybe she was hoping you would give her some orgasms at a later point?

Maybe you should have stopped the blowjob prior to completion so that she could enjoy your erection elsewhere? How soon can you get it up again? 

Maybe she just needed you to know she finds you sexually attractive? Maybe she stopped because giving you blow jobs wasn't as meaningful to her as she thought they would be, or hoped they would be?

Maybe...you should ask her?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I stoped giving blowjobs because I wanted that erection elsewhere. I am into starting things with a BJ but ending things with a BJ. Oral for me a great, but not as great as having that erection inside me. I'm greedy that way. Since my H needs several hours to get another erection, and circumstances usually preclude a second erection within the same 24 hour peiriod, blow jibs to completion means I don't get what I want.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I stoped giving blowjobs because I wanted that erection elsewhere. I am into starting things with a BJ but ending things with a BJ. Oral for me a great, but not as great as having that erection inside me. I'm greedy that way. Since my H needs several hours to get another erection, and circumstances usually preclude a second erection within the same 24 hour peiriod, blow jibs to completion means I don't get what I want.


I don't think that she what's going on here AP. There's no evidence pointing to her liking or even being willing to start sex with oral as a warm up, and In fact hawk makes the point that she hasn't done it at all for years. Something triggered this other than a desire for PiV. You're totally correct though, his first response should be to ask her what's up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

I usually do stop her to have sex. Most of the time she wanted to do the bj to completion.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

There probably was something behind it, but the question is what?

You have no idea the crazy things said on the internet. For all you know, someone told her that BJ's motivate men to paint the garage and she gave it a try.


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

Well she has been wanting to fix the house up. Like I said, I've been pretty vigilant. I have access to all her accounts, her cell, everything. Haven't found the slightest thing. Even have tracked her iPhone when she has gone with friends. 

I'm a techie and she's the least tech person ever so she's not getting anything past me there. 

Sex itself hasn't changed in terms of what we do and how often we do it. It's just that brief period of blowjobs.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

hawx20 said:


> *Well she has been wanting to fix the house up. * Like I said, I've been pretty vigilant. I have access to all her accounts, her cell, everything. Haven't found the slightest thing. Even have tracked her iPhone when she has gone with friends.
> 
> I'm a techie and she's the least tech person ever so she's not getting anything past me there.
> 
> Sex itself hasn't changed in terms of what we do and how often we do it. It's just that brief period of blowjobs.


bingo!


The first thing my H would ask was, how much did you spend.


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

Well thats usually my first question too


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

hawx20 said:


> Well she has been wanting to fix the house up. Like I said, I've been pretty vigilant. I have access to all her accounts, her cell, everything. Haven't found the slightest thing. Even have tracked her iPhone when she has gone with friends.
> 
> I'm a techie and she's the least tech person ever so she's not getting anything past me there.
> 
> Sex itself hasn't changed in terms of what we do and how often we do it. It's just that brief period of blowjobs.


Maybe she wants the house fixed up (although if that was the reason behind the BJs I would think they would still be coming your way). Maybe she is hoping these acts with have you rethink how vigilant you are with the other stuff. IDK, definitely ask, but seems odd.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

hawx20 said:


> Took them, loved them, but she didn't want oral in return.


Perhaps a friend of hers is likely going through some unbelievable chaos and heartache due to marital problems. Meanwhile here are the two of you getting along fine and working on making your home better. This in turn might make her feel very grateful towards you! 

Anytime drama spills over from our friends and family's marriages, my wife takes a look at where we are and becomes rather appreciative.

So it is possible that nothing changed and the something going on is happening outside your relationship to other people.

Badsanta


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

badsanta said:


> Perhaps a friend of hers is likely going through some unbelievable chaos and heartache due to marital problems. Meanwhile here are the two of you getting along fine and working on making your home better. This in turn might make her feel very grateful towards you!
> 
> Anytime drama spills over from our friends and family's marriages, my wife takes a look at where we are and becomes rather appreciative.
> 
> ...


Also possible she was talking to a friend or on a forum and BJ' were mentioned, reminding her that she hasn't given one in a while and she decided to make up for it all in a week.

Could also be something as simple as she had an erotic dream that inspired her.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Hawx,

Time to have a blunt discussion with her and TRUST your "gut" on the explanation. I'm not buying she wants the garage or house painted and or the shoppping unless she has done that in the past. Now if she's reading some idiotic magazine like Cosmo they could suggest something this stupid.

Hawx, women having sex with another man very often do sex acts that they have never done with hubby in order to keep the ego kibbles coming. its the price paid for the emotional connection. You have been "whacked" once or otherwise maybe this would not be so suspicious. if she really hated doing it that should have been obvious to you unless you are in a coma or she belongs in Hollywood or is such a good actress she belongs in porn. But one thing we know now. If she is having sex with another man she just took away the old "she did things with him that she never did with me". That box is now checked.

Maybe you should suggest a "sex therapist' rather than confront about cheating to see what her reaction is. There MUST be some explanation unless she was so miserable doing it that it was obvious.

And lastly, you being technologically superior does not mean crap. if she works and the OM is at work she does not need any electronics to talk to him and you most likely will never get the passwords to work devices. if, and notice i say IF, there is an OM, do not assume he is not your equal on technology and if he is an experienced adulterer that may be true. She can leave her I phone in one place and be in another so i would not bet the ranch on that one, and i would be looking for a "burner" phone if she has any idea that you are a little suspicious.

Like i said, if she had no history of betraying you I might not be as concerned. but you are correct that this behavior is UNUSUAL and CONFUSING at best.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Could she have watched some porn and wanted to try out some things she saw?


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

I took it as she tried it and maybe forgot that feeling when you satisfy your spouse like that.

When she cheated, the signs were there. I even asked if she was screwing the guy she had the affair with out of anger.

The signs aren't there this time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> There probably was something behind it, but the question is what?
> 
> You have no idea the crazy things said on the internet. For all you know, someone told her that BJ's motivate men to *paint the garage* and she gave it a try.


*Or, you get the BJ and she gets to paint the town red.....with her lipstick!*

........................................................................................................................................................................

Yes, this could be something she heard. Me? I think she is trying to spice up the sex part in the marriage. Get you more motivated and interested. Make sure you initiate more...I would.
.........................................................................................................................................................................

This is speculation on all our parts. Just remain alert. Keep an eye on her electronics, communications, any unexplained absences.

It may be nothing....wait, I take that back. What a pleasant *surprise* it was.

Keep the pleasant fresh in your memory and the *surprise* in the back of your detective mind.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Things like this are another reason I do not generally support reconciliation.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> There probably was something behind it, but the question is what?
> 
> You have no idea the crazy things said on the internet. For all you know, someone told her that BJ's motivate men to paint the garage and she gave it a try.


*I simply cannot argue about the fact that sometimes, the garage actually does get painted; but about the only thing that really ends up getting painted are someone's tonsils!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Just ask her, for goodness sake!

Then be sure to update us because this one is a cliffhanger. 

(Insert popcorn eating emoji)


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Just ask her, for goodness sake!
> 
> Then be sure to update us because this one is a cliffhanger.
> 
> (Insert popcorn eating emoji)


All that is going to do is piss her off. 

I think he needs to do some very discreet sleuthing first. 

I dunno...women are slaves to their passions. And they live inside their own heads. She could have just had the itch to suck some pickle...it happens. I can never predict what a woman will do because she cannot predict it herself.

Goddamned infuriating complex goofy creatures....


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Dang! Does this mean I shouldn't do any fixing around the house for a while so I can get a BJ?:scratchhead:

Maybe I've been going about it all wrong...:|

We have sex often, but BJs are not in the equation. I perform oral on her often but it is never reciprocated.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > Just ask her, for goodness sake!
> ...


I thought he already has. He said everything is coming up clean.

If she just had the sudden urge to go down on him, she will likely very easily say this and she won't seem sketchy about it at all. And why would it piss her off?

If she says something really sketchy and seems guilty, it could still be a red herring but it would be worth more sleuthing.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Well when I had a sex drive increase (mid life hormonal surge)..... I suddenly went CRAZY for BJ's... couldn't get enough.. I was touching him / sucking so much I thought I'd make him numb.. Yes this sounds crazy... he couldn't get enough erections for me... there was no other man, no infidelity..... but I did want to watch porn all of a sudden... it became like "electric" to me... I even rented it.. though I wanted MINE too.. giving him one , then not getting an "O" myself would have ticked me off.. so in that respect.. I wouldn't understand her..

Just another explanation I am providing here... but ya know.. it's hard to tell.. you mentioned something about fixing the house up.. maybe she is thinking... "give him oral favors, some buttering up, then he will allow me what I want -on the house".... 

Without the communication.. her sharing her sudden erotic euphoria with you...it's a mystery.. I can see why it would be very concerning to you -given her cheating..

I was very OPEN with my husband to everything I was feeling, experiencing.. wanted to do to him.. he never had to wonder...


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I thought he already has. He said everything is coming up clean.
> 
> If she just had the sudden urge to go down on him, she will likely very easily say this and she won't seem sketchy about it at all. And why would it piss her off?
> 
> If she says something really sketchy and seems guilty, it could still be a red herring but it would be worth more sleuthing.


I dunno. She'll probably accuse him of being "controlling" and "insecure"....the go-to defense every time a husband or boyfriend asks for accountability.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Why don't you ask her why she abruptly stopped?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > I thought he already has. He said everything is coming up clean.
> ...


Well that's a big red flag then. But how will he know that unless he asks?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I was very OPEN with my husband to everything I was feeling, experiencing.. wanted to do to him.. *he never had to wonder*...


And he never had to wander.

Or wand another her.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

I, too, would wonder what's up if this happened to me, but then again, this is the lot in life some of us have been given. OP been's cheated on before, so everything imaginable can be a red flag, and that sucks. My ex wife cheated on me, and she went through a brief period where she couldn't get enough, either. No red flags for me at the time, but in hindsight...

And because of that, my guard is always up with these sorts of things, and that SUCKS. If my wife were to do this all of a sudden, I'd be questioning it, and I wouldn't want to, but that's life.

On the flip side, my ex wife would often get turned on by external sources (a romantic movie for example) and I'd reap the benefits of that. Even dreams on occasion. It happens, and it can certainly happen with no ulterior motive (other than being horny).

But you know your wife - we don't. As you said, you're a techie and she's not, so if there's something amiss, you'd have found it. In this day and age, there are records and data trails of everything, even the home phone. It's damn near impossible to do something sketchy without there being some sort of record of it, somewhere. Really the only way people can do these sorts of things would be at the workplace, where there's no need for electronic communication or phone calls or what have you. An office quickie in the car or the bathroom, or a quick trip home at lunch, for example. But then there's usually many people around, and people talk. What I'm saying is that it IS possible to engage in sketchy behaviour without leaving a trail, but it's less likely these days.

I don't know, man. My mind would be racing, but that's just me. I also got BJ's back in the day, and they simply don't happen any more. If my wife went nuts for a week with that, I couldn't help but think something's up, because it just doesn't happen. My wife doesn't have a cell phone, checks email once a week, and her laptop is right next to mine and we have each other's passwords. My mind would be going to her workplace. Not hard to get a little side action at lunch if you really wanted to.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I'm thinking it was some kind of challenge - like that ice bucket challenge that went around the internet.

Some women on some message board or in some chat room challenged each other to give their husband's BJs when they least expected it. :wink2:


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm thinking it was some kind of challenge - like that ice bucket challenge that went around the internet.
> 
> Some women on some message board or in some chat room challenged each other to give their husband's BJs when they least expected it. :wink2:


Could be that. Could have been a s*** test (see if he reciprocates? see if he becomes more helpful around the house? puts his dirty clothes in the laundry?)

I know I've already replied, but I'm still thinking about this one. The reasons why she did it could be complicated or really, really simple (she wanted to). It could have been a test. She could have decided she wants to try it out and see if it's something she'd be willing to do regularly. It could have been a challenge from her friends, or she found out her friend does this to her husband regularly and she felt bad. It could have been hormones.

Whether you question her about it or not is up in the air. If you do, you run the risk of it never happening again. Same if you don't acknowledge it. Only you know your wife.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Unless you find other red flags, best just be vigilant and keep your mouth shut.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Watch for a similar pattern in about a month...


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Link? >



She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm thinking it was some kind of challenge - like that ice bucket challenge that went around the internet.
> 
> Some women on some message board or in some chat room challenged each other to give their husband's BJs when they least expected it. :wink2:


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> Watch for a similar pattern in about a month...


I like this. 

Your statement/insight leads me down two roads, both good explanatory possibilities.

One road has a street sign written out as follows: - C3032 H4316 O780 N780 S8 Fe4 Tempus

The other street sign reads: Lunae Cyclica
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Another street well-traveled by many: Le Rue Porn

She may have taken a pixely virtual lover. One who changes shape as fast as a Mouse can travel and a click can trap. 

As men do....women can and do.


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## Tino (Nov 15, 2016)

straightshooter said:


> Hawk,
> 
> Not exactly normal behavior. A woman, or man for that matter, does not out of the clear blue sky for no reason, go bonkers performing a new sex act, and then stop for NO REASON. Now that reason can be a bunch of things that are not her cheating again, BUT I believe new sex acts are one of the signs that your spouse MAY be cheating .
> 
> I would not put my head in the sand if I were you and I surely would have a frank conversation with her and not accept any bull **** explanation.


It wasn't a new act for her she just didn't perform them in a while


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> I like this.
> 
> Your statement/insight leads me down two roads, both good explanatory possibilities.
> 
> ...


While I have doubts about your theory, I do enjoy deciphering your posts. :thumbup:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I wish I had a blowjob all of a sudden.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

hawx20 said:


> My wife hasn't given me a blow job in years. I used to get them all the time while we were dating but theyes didn't happen much after marriage. About 2 weeks ago she shocked me when she gave me one out of the blue. For about a week, she went crazy and seemed to love it, wanting to give me one almost daily. Then, she just stopped doing it just as quickly as she started. She seemed to lose all interest in it.


Start the investigation Magnum P.I. Obviously, another man has peaked her interest.

She probably wanted to make sure she wasn't rusty and was using you as a practice dummy.

I don't know how you guys play warden. It's SO much easier to just replace them. Anyway...

Welcome to hell.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> I wish I had a blowjob all of a sudden.


Learn yoga?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

BetrayedDad said:


> Start the investigation Magnum P.I. Obviously, another man has peaked her interest.
> 
> She probably wanted to make sure she wasn't rusty and was *using you as a practice dummy.
> *
> ...


Read the THE BOLDED ABOVE !

Astute knife jab, BD.

*No one should ever say that I am too harsh*. Gawd that is a low blow. Could be true !! :-{


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

BetrayedDad said:


> Learn yoga?


Yeah...I could learn to shove my head up my own ass like you can! :ezpi_wink1:


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Yeah...I could learn to shove my head up my own ass like you can! :ezpi_wink1:


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Reasons a woman would suddenly give sexual interest and then stop.

1. Experienced doubt that her husband still loved her, and then was reassured.
2. Had a dream that caused above doubt.
3. Read something about blowjobs and recalled she had allowed her skills to get rusty. Then was reassured they were not.
4. Felt guilt. And this is what you suspicious people keep projecting. Guilt could be anything, about spending, about neglecting, about feeling a lack of love, about a slight, about having said something bad about her husband, about having even disrespectful toward husband or his career or his family or his skills in fixing the leaky faucet. Guilt can be something totally irrational, or it could be completely linear.
5. Wanted to reassure her husband through what she assumed was a difficult time but then realized it wasn't actually affecting him. 
6. Went through an upsurge in estrogen and oxytocin causing her to seek a sexual outlet and desire to be loving but then stopped once she no longer felt the need to be so loving.

From my POV, and the women friends I know in real life, going above and beyond with BJ's is a calculated avenue to lessen his anxiety and or smooth the way for a favor request. "So it's okay if my mother moves in with us for a few months before she moves to Florida?"

A well blown man doesn't say no very easily.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Yes absolutely, also known as bait-n-switch LOL:grin2:




Anon Pink said:


> Reasons a woman would suddenly give sexual interest and then stop.
> 
> 1. Experienced doubt that her husband still loved her, and then was reassured.
> 2. Had a dream that caused above doubt.
> ...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

No bait and switch. 

I have a friend who has an incredible need to wow. Not just admiration but wow. Her BJ's are a performance to wow.

I have a need to feel loved and desired. My BJ's are in response to that need being met in the ways that are meaningful to me.

I have another friend whose husband whines like a little girl if he doesn't get a BJ in return for some gift he gives. Her BJ's are a thank you, keep it coming, now go sit on your side of the bed. Her husband does not excite her but she still loves him.

Point is, no one can say if OP was baited, or if OP has failed.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Now now, reread those last two paragraphs starting with 'From my POV' and think about it again.

But I do agree in the case of the OP, who knows.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> From my POV, and the women friends I know in real life, going above and beyond with BJ's is a calculated avenue to lessen his anxiety and or smooth the way for a favor request. "So it's okay if my mother moves in with us for a few months before she moves to Florida?"


Nah, some of us just enjoy giving BJ's because it turns us on.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm thinking it was some kind of challenge - like that ice bucket challenge that went around the internet.
> 
> Some women on some message board or in some chat room challenged each other to give their husband's BJs when they least expected it. :wink2:


LOL!! That's funny... 
Maybe!


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Anon Pink said:


> Reasons a woman would suddenly give sexual interest and then stop.
> 
> 1. Experienced doubt that her husband still loved her, and then was reassured.
> 2. Had a dream that caused above doubt.
> ...


I couldn't like this any more.

I have absolutely no problem with those few TAM'ers who immediately jump to PI's and checking her phone and all that - I get it (been there, got the tshirt). And it doesn't help that OP's wife has cheated in the past - I get that, too.

But a little critical thinking goes a long way. Not the benefit of the doubt, just critical thinking.

All of those reasons above are just as potentially valid as the worst case scenario. And while having been cheated on in the past it's certainly wise to be vigilant, it's a long road that's nearly impossible to find your way back from once you venture along it.

My ex wife cheated on me, and ultimately left for an OM. I started out my current relationship/marriage being overly vigilant, too. It got me nothing but strife. My eyes are still open, but there's a balance to be had, lest one goes crazy.

At some point, it becomes nothing more than pride. "I'm never going to let THAT happen again" turns into a lifelong quest to ensure it doesn't, meanwhile everything passes you by. At some point, you have to let go and trust again. Perhaps not the way you once were capable of (I'll never be able to), but certainly not to the point where you're questioning every move your partner makes.

Also, FWIW, there's almost always ulterior motives behind everything. But they're not always the worst-case-scenario (see above quoted post).


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

I normally don't post here, but to the op...

You say you remain vigilant, understandably, and yet since reconciling things have been working very nicely. 

Perhaps there's nothing nefarious at all about her sudden behavior. She could be having thoughts of guilt and memories of the way things were between you and her long ago. She may have things on her mind she's trying to cope with. 

In the abscence of any other facts that might suggest otherwise I don't see why you should to jump into any 'detective mode'. Wouldn't the next step between a husband and wife be to talk? It seems like an opportunity to learn more of what's in her mind and you to share your feelings. Wouldn't that also be an opportunity for growth?

Just my two cents worth.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Reasons a woman would suddenly give sexual interest and then stop.
> 
> 1. Experienced doubt that her husband still loved her, and then was reassured.
> 2. Had a dream that caused above doubt.
> ...


Wife has only given me one BJ (and this was not long after we met) so if she were to give me one now, I'd have to ask "How much did you give your sister"?. Hell, she went out of town for a week with friends and didn't even think about having some nookie before she left (I thought about it and was going to mention it, but she preempted me by letting me know how tired she was and how bad her head hurt).


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## pushing50 (Aug 5, 2010)

bandit.45 said:


> I wish I had a blowjob all of a sudden.


...or ever.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> No bait and switch.
> 
> I have a friend who has an incredible need to wow. Not just admiration but wow. Her BJ's are a performance to wow.
> 
> ...


Not to be mean but the above just makes me sad. Well I guess yours does the least. Because it makes sense at least. And feels like love. The other two? Sad.


Red Sonja said:


> Nah, some of us just enjoy giving BJ's because it turns us on.


I hope more women think like this. Because this is why I go down on my wife. It turns me on. I can easily make her cum this way and I love making her feel good like that.


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## xxxSHxYZxxx (Apr 1, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I stoped giving blowjobs because I wanted that erection elsewhere. I am into starting things with a BJ but ending things with a BJ. Oral for me a great, but not as great as having that erection inside me. I'm greedy that way. Since my H needs several hours to get another erection, and circumstances usually preclude a second erection within the same 24 hour peiriod, blow jibs to completion means I don't get what I want.


That is selfish. What's wrong with giving a blow job just because? 

Sent from my SM-G928T using Tapatalk


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Red Sonja said:


> Nah, some of us just enjoy giving BJ's because it turns us on.





Middle of Everything said:


> I hope more women think like this. Because this is why I go down on my wife. It turns me on. I can easily make her cum this way and I love making her feel good like that.





xxxSHxYZxxx said:


> That is selfish. What's wrong with giving a blow job just because?



:iagree:


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

Red Sonja said:


> Nah, some of us just enjoy giving BJ's because it turns us on.




Good to know some females love giving blowjobs to turn then on 


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

red sonja said:


> nah, some of us just enjoy giving bj's because it turns us on.


..🚿 
🚶🏻


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

notmyrealname4 said:


> Quote:
> Originally Posted by Red Sonja View Post
> Nah, some of us just enjoy giving BJ's because it turns us on.
> Quote:
> ...


I agree with all of this, too (though not to the point where it truly upsets me!) I just think the whole notion of doing or not doing sexual things for your partner is blown out of proportion. As is commonplace with sex and sexuality.

I can't think of another subject in the realm of marriage/relationships that people draw such a hard line on. It's all black and white, all the time.

It's hard to explain what oral sex means to many men, and it's one of those things that many women don't 'get'. For most of us, it's waaay more than just getting off. For me, it shows that my partner is thinking of me, the same I would think of her desire for a, say, long, loving, non-sexual massage (something many of us guys ruin by turning into a sexual thing).

If my wife has to routinely ask for a massage, it doesn't mean the same to her. If I respond in the affirmative but am clearly reluctant to do so, or put conditions on it (it'll be quick, my hands hurt, I have to get up early in the morning), it doesn't mean the same to her. If I do it, but it's clear I'm not into it and I'm going through the motions, it doesn't mean the same to her.

However, if I happily volunteer to give her a massage, and I put some effort into it, it means the world to her. It really does. It's not the massage that's the point, it's that I voluntarily did it and put some effort into it, for her sake. The nice massage is the bonus. It's the knowledge that I WANTED to do it that makes it what it is.

The other thing I've picked up on over the years is that oral sex is a very different subject between the two sexes. For many/most women, oral sex alone is not particularly desirable. It's like an appetizer of sorts. The real desire is for PIV. So women view the subject in their own way, not through the eyes of the typical man. Recognizing the differing viewpoints on the subject, rather than viewing it solely from your own, is key to a healthy and mutually gratifying sex life, IMO.

It's also worth noting that many women don't particularly enjoy being the only one satisfied, for whatever reason. My wife is totally like this. I appreciate it, but there are times where I absolutely don't mind that she's the only one satisfied. It's like a failure on her part or something.

Furthermore, and this could be contentious, is that both women AND men most certainly do act one way prior to marriage/LTR, and once they've 'locked down' a partner (ostensibly for life) no longer feel the need to continue acting that way. I'm not saying it's always a conscious decision, either - it's not.

The best marriages and relationships are the ones where you do the same things you did for/with your partner in the early days, for the same reasons. I hate the term 'bait and switch', but it's apt. So with the example of BJ's - it's not necessarily an expectation that they will continue for the duration of the relationship simply for the sake of getting BJ's, but more the expectation that your partner will always think the effort (or YOU) are worth it for the duration of the relationship. At one point in time, he/she did certain things to make you happy, to show that THEY are a worthy partner, that they are thinking of you, etc etc etc. We all do this, to a certain extent, and many of us eventually get away from doing those things. I'm sure I'm guilty of it, too.

So at one point, our partners thought us worthy of 'x, y or z', and now they no longer do. It's not so much the fact that (BJ's for example) no longer occur, it's the underlying feeling that our partners no longer feel it (or we) are worth it, or that the return isn't worth the effort. That's a sad way of thinking, IMO.

A little selflessness goes a long way.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

alexm said:


> It's hard to explain what oral sex means to many men, and it's one of those things that many women don't 'get'. For most of us, it's waaay more than just getting off. For me, it shows that my partner is thinking of me, the same I would think of her desire for a, say, long, loving, non-sexual massage (something many of us guys ruin by turning into a sexual thing).


This is all about givers and takers.

Givers think about the happiness of their partner.

Takers think about their own happiness.

Takers and givers usually find a way to meet each other. Takers marrying takers is a mess and givers marrying givers tends to lack passion and be boring.

Takers want partners for their own happiness. If giving is required to acquire a partner, they'll give. Once they have the partner, giving is no longer a priority (and this isn't usually conscious).

Givers don't stop giving once they've acquired a partner, it's their nature.

Expecting the taker to just give because that's how the giver would behave is the road to resentment.

The best way to deal with this imbalance is for the giver to make sure that the taker knows that the giver has no intention of giving forever with no reciprocation.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

The OP certainly should be worried. I think he should start full blown dark recognizance. Something caused this and he needs to find out what it was,


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

jb02157 said:


> The OP certainly should be worried. I think he should start full blown dark recognizance. Something caused this and he needs to find out what it was,


Nah, I think She'sStillGotIt got it......



She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm thinking it was some kind of challenge - like that ice bucket challenge that went around the internet.
> 
> Some women on some message board or in some chat room challenged each other to give their husband's BJs when they least expected it. :wink2:


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

IndianApple said:


> Good to know some females love giving blowjobs to turn then on
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


You know what's interesting about my wife? About half the time she gives me oral (as foreplay), I have to pry her off of me. A few weeks ago, I couldn't, and it was too late, and she was fine with it. Pleased, actually. 

For somebody who once told me she "hates" it, it's very confusing!


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Why does everyone jump to the conclusion something must be wrong if something has changed? Not all changes are BAD. I've been WANTING to give my husband more BJ's lately, but I seem to be shy on how to approach them randomly. I'm afraid he'll either think something is up with me and I'll get the third degree. Truth is, I feel like he should be rewarded witha blow job every now and then, lol. It's legit that simple. I try to condition blow jobs with good behaviour or blow jobs if he's done something to really please me. Also, I just want to suck a **** now and then.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> Why does everyone jump to the conclusion something must be wrong if something has changed? Not all changes are BAD. I've been WANTING to give my husband more BJ's lately, but I seem to be shy on how to approach them randomly. I'm afraid he'll either think something is up with me and I'll get the third degree. Truth is, I feel like he should be rewarded witha blow job every now and then, lol. It's legit that simple. I try to condition blow jobs with good behaviour or blow jobs if he's done something to really please me. Also, I just want to suck a **** now and then.




I wish if i have had a female in my life like you .... whoa !!!!! This feeling of urs is sooooooooooo awesome 


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

@hawx20 how are things going are you still being blessed?


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I try to condition blow jobs with good behaviour or blow jobs if he's done something to really please me.


I couldn't decide which image I liked better so I used both.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

browser said:


> I couldn't decide which image I liked better so I used both.


Sums up my approach pretty accurately! That's why I chose the word "condition," . Hate it or love it - it works. Works on women, too. But obviously BJs are replaced with something else... $$$ <3 <3 <3


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I try to condition blow jobs with good behaviour or blow jobs if he's done something to really please me.


Sex as a reward? Do you withhold sex for bad behavior?


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Chris Taylor said:


> Sex as a reward? Do you withhold sex for bad behavior?


I don't see sex as a reward being okay.

But I can see not having sex with an a$$hole or someone who doesn't care about your needs.

So, as a "reward" for a good relationship? Maybe.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Chris Taylor said:


> Sex as a reward? Do you withhold sex for bad behavior?


No no. Conditioning is positive reinforcement only, lol. I don't with hold if I'm angry or sad or whatever. And I don't do it specifically because he's done something "good". I'm just more likely to WANT to do it so therefore it gets done.

Trust me, your wives do it, too. They may just not be aware they're "conditioning" you, but my guess if you pay attention you'll notice a this-begets-that type of dynamic.
Clean the kitchen and make her dinner and tell me if you get laid and she looks like she enjoys it more. Seriously. Do it. I'm curious.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> No no. Conditioning is positive reinforcement only, lol. .


What does he get if he remembers to take out the garbage?


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

browser said:


> What does he get if he remembers to take out the garbage?


Respect. That's not blow job worthy. Finishing an entire basement is.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> Respect. That's not blow job worthy. Finishing an entire basement is.




Truly agree with UnicornCupCake 


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

hawx20 said:


> Now obviously, anytime unusual things happen, I start thinking. Was there something behind this?


if i were cynical, i would guess she is a submissive, and her Dom ordered her to do it for 2 weeks, then told her to cut you off from sex again. To show his dominance


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

I would suspect she is feeling guilty about something.

Check for a Burner phone.

If she knows you have access to her electronics she is not exactly going to leave a trail for you.

I would VAR her Car and see what that uncovers.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

UnicornCupcake said:


> Sums up my approach pretty accurately! That's why I chose the word "condition," . Hate it or love it - it works. Works on women, too. But obviously BJs are replaced with something else... $$$ <3 <3 <3


LOL. Who would put up with this passive aggressive behavior? Plenty of women LOVE bjs. 

Literally beg to do it. Why negotiate something you can get for free from someone else?


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

Instead of all the speculation, why not just ask point blank, "Where is this coming from?"

The OP's reservations are well-founded and justified; once bitten, twice shy. 

Heck, if my wife, who has never strayed, all of a sudden wanted to blow me like the pit of Lazarus was in my loins, I'd wonder what the deal is. You can't inexplicably change a long-standing status quo and not expect questions to be asked.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Are all these blow jobs a way of keeping the op away from her vagina?


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> Are all these blow jobs a way of keeping the op away from her vagina?


I don't know, to me that sounds like throwing $100 bills at a homeless person so they'll stop begging you for spare change.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Any Follow up to this?


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## spiritualconnection (Oct 14, 2011)

My gut says she feels guilty for something. She has cheated again and is performing these acts in a way to cleanse her conscious.


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