# Anybody experienced this? It's long :(



## Kcrat (Mar 18, 2011)

Hey everyone. I have not been on in a while, and hope this finds everyone well, and finding peace and happiness in their lives. Well, I have been doing better and better about NC! It's freeing and liberating and I'm doing much better. Well...........most of the time. I can now sometimes see my H, text, or talk without incident, but sometimes it turns to "relationship talk." When he says stuff about his life, etc., I want to know more, to understand, and ultimately understand what went wrong, and quite frankly if he has regrets, remorse, etc. 

New problem today........My father (another talk show all together) has tried to ignore "The elephant in the room." He has pretty much ignored me, not been there for me, is embarrassed and worried about HIS reputation if we divorce, and is telling me it's going to be awful. He's saying he can't/won't help me financially ( HE IS A VERY SUCCESSFUL MAN AND..... I NEVER ASKED!!!! ) He is basically blaming ME for all the horrific things my husband has done, and talking about how I basically screwed my life up, never went to law school, or landed a "good man." When we got pregnant 23 years ago, (unwed) he was just like this! Worried about himself and not me. There were other cruel things said growing up that I will not go into, but I am still reeling from it as an adult. The bottom line, is that he (My father) has been pressuring me to "work things out" with my H because it would be better for all of us. I really just think my dad does not want to have to worry about me financially, or have any "new" responsibility. I think he worries I will ask for help and be a burden to him. I finally mustered the courage up to tell my H that my father would like very much to see us work it out, and my husband once again, stated clearly, he was not interested. I don't really want my H back, but still mentioned this to him. Once again, I felt rejected, humiliated, ended up in a puddle, and can't focus on my work, etc. My father read some emails I sent to my mom (Not like him at all, truly ) of things I said about the way he treats me. He called, and we "got into it." Now the whole family is upset. We have actually done pretty well up until now. Our family does not really fight/argue much anymore until today! Have any of you experienced utter turmoil in the entire family over a breakup/separation/divorce? It is amazing what one man's terrible choices can do to an ENTIRE FAMILY! When will this madness end. I am serious. We have kids, and I know I will still have to deal with my husband, see him, talk to him, etc. We HAVE NOT EVEN FILED YET! I know the hell as not even REALLY begun! All comments will be deeply appreciated


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I'm fairly new to this site so I apologize for not knowing the whole circumstance surrounding your story.

When your father says that working things out with your H will be "better for everyone" what he really means it will be easier on him. He clearly isn't thinking about you or your happiness, he is worried about his own self image.

This isn't the old days where divorce is unheard of, in fact it seems to be more common than marriage itself.

Like I said, I don't know your situation to know if you are trying to work on things or what even happened, but if you can, try not to let your father get you down. It isn't about you at all, it's about him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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