# Pregnant and confused



## tulips429 (Oct 7, 2010)

I really need a very good advise, pls help me!! I am 3 months pregnant but its outside my marriage. The guy I am seeing is also married and to make it more complicated, the wife is also pregnant. When we started with the relationship, we didnt know that his wife was pregnant. He said he has no love for his wife anymore and to be honest he didnt want a baby with her. He knew she wasnt ready to have one but since the inlaw keeps insisting for her to have a baby soon, he was forced to have sex with her one night not knowing she was fertile. He said he wanted to have a baby with me, not with her. We agreed that no matter what we will stick it out and figure out whats the best thing to do. Lately they've been fighting like crazy and he will find ways just to start an argument, this way maybe she'll initiate the break-up. He doesnt even wear his wedding ring anymore even during their anniversary last month. He said he wants out but he doesnt know when and how to leave his wife since she is pregnant. He's not happy anymore with her and for now he is just staying because of her delicate condition. As for me i am planning to talk to my husband but i dont know how to say it either. We both know that we are the ones meant for each other. I know this is crazy but we need some words of wisdom.


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

You are cheating on your spouse, he is cheating on his. Both of you are lying to your spouses. You believe that starting a relationship based on lies is the foundation for a good relationship? You believe that your vows mean nothing, if something else comes along. 

What makes you think this will not happen the instant you both start your new relationship - and the inevitable disagreements come about? What happens if he gets in a fight with you? Won't you suspect he is starting a fight to end your relationship? 

What kind of a man starts a fight with a pregnant woman so that she will get so emotionally upset that she will leave him? Is that a HEALTHY individual? 

He was forced to have sex with her? What, she held a gun to his head - and that turned him on? BS! He WANTED to have sex, he did it with his own wife, not you!

You ask for words of wisdom. Ok. End your affair, turn back to your marriage, admit you cheated, face the music, and improve yourself so that you don't spend you time as a liar. 

Unfortunately, I suspect it isn't _wisdom_ you seek. It seems you want consensus, not wisdom (the knowledge of how to do the right thing). *That is, if you are a real person! *

It's much better to be honest, and live by your commitments than it is to cheat, lie, and hate. Your choice, my dear. I am _more_ than willing to help you work on your marriage. I am not willing to aid someone to destroy two marriages, and a child's life for a fleeting fantasy!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

429,
Have you talked to the other mans wife. I recommend that you discuss this issue with her (women to women) before you confront your husband, This way you can be the honesty person and be as truthful as the person you want to be. You sound like someone who has alot of honor and respects the truth. So please be true to your self and and confront the other wife in figuring out the honorable thing that makes you true to your self and honors your family and his. Remember you are the better person, so come out and show everyone that you are that special person who can be honest and make sence of all this.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Words of wisdom?

A man who goes to bed with itchy butt, wakes up with smelly finger.
A woman who farts in church, sits in own pew.


I dunno what else to tell ya tulips249. Honestly, with some of these posts running around, they just seem too bizarre to be real IMO. If yours is real, you messed up big time. Tell your husband and either divorce him and move in with the "Mr. Right now" for. Or, work with your husband who you actually cared enough at one point to marry, and end all contact with "Mr. Right now". Only real options you gave yourself here.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Words of sarcasim


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## Sadara (Jul 27, 2010)

Shame on you.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Please clarify: are you and your H "meant for each other", or did you convince yourself that the scumbag who wants to dump his pregnant wife and makes up a BS story about how he was "forced" to get her pregnant, is really a great guy?
Sounds like this scumbag sold you a bill of goods.
Wanted to really have a baby with you, indeed!


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

> Your choice, my dear. I am more than willing to help you work on your marriage. I am not willing to aid someone to destroy two marriages, and a child's life for a fleeting fantasy!


I'm sorry. I just joined and probably should post in a less confrontation thread. But I just felt the need to correct the above count; *two childrens' lives*. There is just so much wrong with this tale.

fwiw, I am past middle-aged and recently widowed. Not a troll.


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

Pam said:


> I'm sorry. I just joined and probably should post in a less confrontation thread. But I just felt the need to correct the above count; *two childrens' lives*. There is just so much wrong with this tale.
> 
> fwiw, I am past middle-aged and recently widowed. Not a troll.


LOL you don't sound 'trollish'...

And thank you for catching the other child. Not sure how I missed it, but I did! 

TWO children who's lives are being ruined by horrible actions.


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## Wallflower (Oct 18, 2010)

I suspect he is lying to you to tell you what he thinks you want to hear. Or you are lying to yourself. He didn't make any marriage vows with you, he did with his wife (- as you did with your husband.) He didn't make you any legally binding promises. You had better start telling the truth, and see if your husband will forgive you and accept this other man's child - because your lover will probably not leave his wife and child, even if he makes her miserable. So you will be on your own with a child to bring up alone unless you can persuade your husband that you are worth it.


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