# I left her, realized it was me the whole time...Now she wont take me back...HELP!



## Clayton (Dec 24, 2012)

1st post

My W and I have been married for 3 years and we completely worshipped each other during our dating, and 1st year of M. Things started to go downhill around year 2. I complained that she was never on "my team," when it came to raising our children. She has a daughter from previous, and I have a son from a previous M. When my son comes over it seemed like team 1 and team2. She became increasingly distant and even began sleeping on the couch, became disinterested in sex with me, stopped doing things around the house etc.... I begged and pleaded for her to re-engage, and be my wife, and be on my team. She had trust issues with me because I lied about an addiction I had at the time. I went as far as to write down the things we needed to work on, or what I thought we needed to work on. She would change for a week or 2, and just go back to being her old self, so I left. I moved out and in with a male friend of mine. We were still married but I was divorced in my mind. She begged me to come home daily and harassed me about my nightly whereabouts because I was drinking heavily and going out just as much. I refused and even did things to cement our split in her heart.She tried for about a month to get me to come home. I had a moment one day, like someone turned the lights on, and I was able to understand why she was acting like she was when we were living together. It was ME the whole time!!!! I didnt go to work until noon and got off at the earliest 9 pm. She went to work at 7am while I was still asleep, and also got our daughter ready and off to school before I woke. When I was at work I would gripe at her for calling me or texting, because I needed to concentrate on my work. My boss would say things like,"You gotta tell that woman not to mess with you while you're at work. You CAN NOT have distractions like her while you are here!" I respected my boss' ability so much that I pushed my wife and kids away in favor for my career. I rationalized it all saying," Without my career, we wont have any stuff to enjoy so dont complain about how much I work!" So after she accepted the split and started to leave me alone I had this epiphany. Now the roles have been reversed. I'm begging her, I'm changing things about myself, stopped other "friendships," and doing everything I can think of to get my best friend back. I'm physically sick, and emotionally exhausted. I cant sleep, and everything I see, smell, taste, and touch reminds me of her. She says she doesnt know if she loves me anymore, and actually says,"I don't know," to everything I ask her. She gets so angry if I question her actions and whereabouts and "friendships." She has become so detached that i almost dont recognize her anymore. She was blocked from all of my social media sites;however, is able to track my every move, but says she doesnt care. Please someone help me. I dont know what steps to take to convince her to give me a chance like I had given to her numerous times while we were together. Im lost without her and need some advice.


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