# Legalities...help please!



## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

In July of last year we both signed off on a separation agreement. In it we stated that she would not go after any child support now or in the future, and I would not touch her pension, now or in the future. Her terms and conditions, not mine. I still pay for the odd dinner and clothes for my stepson. I have offered to contribute more off the books, but she says "it's not your responsibility any more"...I've even offered to open a bank account in his name, and she doesn't want me to...like she doesn't want me involved in financial doings at all.

Here's my worry. The house isn't selling. I'm no longer attached to it. At all. We are not divorced yet. She can proceed on that. I am not paying the 500.00. She can.

Someone told me that the separation agreement can be altered if taken to court and one of the parties has a drastic financial change...as is her situation. Would the judge not ask for the price of the house to lowered so it can sell before any amendments can be made to the agreement? ...before she approaches me to begin paying support, which in turn I can retaliate with taking her pension.

These are my step children...I would only be accountable for 2 of three...the 16 yr old and the daughter who is in college ( 21 ). the other lives on his own and is 19. She did not allow me to help with the kids' needs when we were married, despite my attempts, and I never received tax breaks as she claimed them...we filed separately each year even though we were married. Again, her choice.

Is it likely she will take the offensive here, and does anyone think it will proceed and be successful if she does?

I'm in Ontario, Canada.


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Here in the states unless you legally adopt them you really don't have to pay bearing some exceptions..

It seems she went out of the way to separate them from you financially. I don't see how she could now turn it around.. 

I mean just in those few sentences you posted it seems clear you were married to her but they were not your kids to support in many ways.. But I don't know Canada law either.. 

The short time of support she will get just does not equal her losing part of her pension for the rest of her life.. But then again some people are short sighted.. But in the end lawyers will just call it a wash or the judge will..


----------



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Usually, and it does depend on your state's laws, a properly executed separation agreement is enforced just like a contract. The modification for financial hardship more often come up in a divorce decree for support obligations, not for property distributions. I'd be surprised if you had a legally enforceable obligation to support step-children but it obviously depends on your state law. If there is any legal obligation to enforce a support obligation for the step-children, she can't swap it out for her pension. If it worked that way parents would be trying to get out of child support obligations all the time.

Blended Family Moments: Stepparents May Be Legally Required To Financially Support Step-children
Discusses 20 different states that can recognize an obligation for support by a step-parent under certain circumstances.


----------



## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

*I'd be surprised if you had a legally enforceable obligation to support step-children but it obviously depends on your state law. If there is any legal obligation to enforce a support obligation for the step-children, she can't swap it out for her pension. If it worked that way parents would be trying to get out of child support obligations all the time.
*

Here in Ontario, Canada, we ARE obligated to pay for the stepchildren just as if they were biological children...I addressed that with a lawyer about a year ago before this agreement was even drafted. I wouldn't necessarily be "swapping" so to speak, but I would counter with that angle of getting her pension should she decide to make the offensive move. We have kept this out of court thus far...only a small fee to pay the lawyer to go over the agreement and sign it...I paid that.


----------



## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

CHILD SUPPORT OBLIGATIONS OF A SPOUSE WHO STANDS IN PLACE OF A PARENT - Ontario

Spousal and family relationships of varying permanence, and blended families, have become more common in Canadian society in recent years. *A person who acts as a parent to the children of his or her spouse may have a legal obligation to support those step-children after the relationship with the spouse ends. [1]

Currently, the federal Divorce Act defines a child of the marriage (a child eligible to receive child support) as a child of two spouses or former spouses, and includes "any child of whom one is the parent and for whom the other stands in the place of a parent."
* Most provinces and territories have adopted a similar definition in their own legislation or have defined child as "a child in relation to whom a person has demonstrated a settled intention to treat as a child of his or her family." Recently, the Supreme Court of Canada decided that it is not in step-children's best interests for a person to leave a relationship, in which he or she has assumed the role of a parent, in order to avoid paying child support.

Once a step-parent relationship has been established, the obligations of that step-parent towards the children are similar to those of the natural parents. The process for determining the child support amount when there are step-parents is not set out clearly in federal, provincial or territorial legislation. The Federal Child Support Guidelines, for example, currently allow judges to set a child support amount they consider appropriate. When making this decision, judges must take into account the amount set out in the child support tables and the legal duty of any parent other than the step-parent to support the children.


----------



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Oops, sorry about the presumption you were down here.

If she doesn't get child support would she qualify for public assistance? Short of that, I think there's a "unconscionable circumstances" standard she has to meet to get a modification, but I have no idea how that's actually applied by the court's up there. 

Down here she would not have been permitted to forgo child support in exchange for keeping her pension. It would be considered an unenforceable agreement.


----------



## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

*If she doesn't get child support would she qualify for public assistance?*

No...she clears about 40K a year.


In fact I did not leave the marriage, and insisted on reconciliation via counseling, but she refused. She dismantled the marriage, and presented the terms of a buyout, giving me 20K, and paying off a loan of 25K now attached to the mortgage which is no longer in my name. I accepted with a gamble that the house wouldn't sell. Low and behold, a year later it hasn't and there's a possibility that her profit may be under 20K or lower should she keep reducing the price to sell it. 

I DID NOT claim any portion of their expenses while living there...again, her choice...the child support vs. the pension may closely be equalized...just a guess though


----------



## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

Am American, not Canadian but regarding children, provisions regarding custody, support and visitation are always modifiable by the Court, regardless of the parties prior agreement, if there has been a change in circumstances.


----------



## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

*if there has been a change in circumstances. *

The same applies here. The only change is that the house isn't selling at her asking price, and her daughter is home from college as another mouth to feed, etc., even though she's 21. There has been no job loss, or accident, or traumatic event at all. Her income hasn't dropped or changed either...


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Is the biological father paying child support? He is first in line to pay before you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Its doubtful a judge would order a lower asking price. People are free to make lower offers. If offers have been refused its a different matter.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

The bio dad is on disability and pays 90.00 a month. Deemed unable to work due to stress caused by his divorce with her!


----------



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

deg20 said:


> The bio dad is on disability and pays 90.00 a month. Deemed unable to work due to stress caused by his divorce with her!


I see. She's a repeat offender.

Seriously, I'm still concerned about the validity of the initial waiver of child support. But you say an attorney signed off on it, so ok. But here property division and support obligations are separate and independent determinations. There are times when the marital home is awarded as part of an in-kind child support, and yes, the separate property of each part is considered in determining what is equitable. But a decrease in the value of her separate property, is unrelated to a change in circumstances for child support. That kind of change in circumstances is almost always employment related, or some increased expenses of the child.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long have you been married to her?


----------



## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

*That kind of change in circumstances is almost always employment related, or some increased expenses of the child*

There is no change in her income. Only change is she has her daughter home for the summer from college so expenses are a little higher...

Married for 9 years, EleGirl


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Get the divorce over and done already. It's well worth $500 to get this harpy out of your life for good, and the fact that you've not moved forward w/ the divorce says nothing more than you're still hanging onto a desperate, foolish hope that she may come back to you. WHY WOULD YOU WANT HER BACK AT ALL?

Again, get the divorce over and done with and then cut all of them out of your life for good.


----------



## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Get the divorce over and done already. It's well worth $500 to get this harpy out of your life for good, and the fact that you've not moved forward w/ the divorce says nothing more than you're still hanging onto a desperate, foolish hope that she may come back to you. WHY WOULD YOU WANT HER BACK AT ALL?
> 
> Again, get the divorce over and done with and then cut all of them out of your life for good.


e only reason I haven't progressed with the divorce...and no, I don't EVER want her back...is because I'm still on her dental, eyes, and drug benefits...100%...this applies until we are divorced. I am currently searching for a plan to call my own so I can get off hers...one that reaps the same or close to 100% coverage.


----------

