# Sooo...It's Been a Long Time



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

So...Regret and I went on our family vacation to the beach. It was pretty awesome, except for getting banned and not being able to reply to people in need - which I probably shouldn't have been doing on vacation anyway, but that's just me. Helping people helps me. I want to apologize to ChrisH and all the mods of TAM for getting out of line and I'd like to apologize to Badblood for any kind of provoking posts I made toward him. 

That said, a lot of crap has gone on in my life over the past three weeks.

While on vacation, Regret and I had a lot of alone time to chat about things and we took advantage of it every night. We took advantage of being on vacation every night, too!!  However, something happened as she and I talked down at the beach. I asked her a question out of the blue, something I had never asked her before (it was literally just asking if he said something). She confirmed what I asked. In all honesty, that didn't bug me. What bugged me was that I had asked like hundreds of times if he has ever said anything to her in bed...ie, pillow talk crap. She always said that he was kind of quiet.

Well...it seems he was but he wasn't. I know it's trivial to some and I can even see it as trivial, but that is not the point. The point is I ASKED!! I was told otherwise with the addendum that my questions triggered her memories. I don't like that. It's not my job to trigger Regret's memories of HER affair. She knows...we know...she doesn't really need me to trigger her. She knows this stuff cold. She knows what was said and what was done.

So, my Spider senses began to tingle mid-vacation and I asked her some questions I had been asking since March. All were met with the "You know everything" statement. I admit to asking a large blanket question like "Is there anything you haven't told me about your affair," but I think that's a viable question for someone like me...someone who needs the details to move past this. It doesn't work for everyone and for some I would say you're better off not knowing. But that's not me.

My senses didn't stop there...they came home with me. I had been asking her about the length of time she spent with him each time and things just didn't add up. I just felt like something was missing. On Thursday 8/30, I had to take a friend to a doctor's appointment cuz he can't drive. When I woke up, I looked at Regret and told her that today was it. She had 5 hours to come up with a full explanation as to the timeline of her meetings and if sh-t didn't add up, I would be gone. Yes, I did say that once before...actually almost a month previously. She said she would.

As I sat in the doctor's office, my phone buzzed with her email of the timeline. I read it and it was very thorough, if not graphic enough for me to fully understand what happened and when. I was actually relieved about it. Yes, horrible things for a husband to read about, but it helped me.

Until I got home.

She was on our deck for a smoke break, and I sat out there and thanked her for giving me the information I needed. She looked up at me and my Spider senses screamed at me. All I could do was look at her. I'm sure it was probably a bit intimidating. I stood up and told her I was gonna grab my Skoal and that she had 2 minutes to make sure that everything in that timeline was absolutely correct and nothing else was hidden. She said okay.

When I walked back out to the deck, I could see it in her body language. There was more. Again...when I say more, I'm not talking about other OM's or anything like that...I'm talking about sex stuff...the details. The stuff that most IC's and MC's say don't need to be shared.

Regret told me there were two things she hadn't admitted to me. I looked deep into her soul through her eyes. I searched and said, "are you sure it's only two?" Then she hung her head a bit and said there were three. I kind of laughed, believe it or not and said, "Let's make it five things..or ten!" She laughed back and said it was just the three. So, I listened to her admit what she had been holding back. Honestly, they weren't deal breakers. The lying was. All was fine until 15 minutes later something else trickled out and then 30 minutes after that the "final" thing trickled out.

I admitted to her that I had spoken to a friend who's an attorney at my golf league. I had gotten advice on my rights and whatnot. I told her his name and said she could expect to hear from him.

And I walked away. I was overcome. Like severely.

I can tell you that for 5 minutes I blacked out and only remember snippets. Regret told me later on that I said some pretty mean things to her. Called her some pretty harsh and choice names, too.

I kind of remember coming to laying in the grass of our back yard and Regret holding me and crying. I had punched the living hell out of my shed a few times (poor inannimate object) and had paint chips embedded in my skin. She was pulling them out with clippers or something. 

It was a pretty rough go.

But something changed. Since March, my Spider senses have always tingled at me. They've always told me there's something she's not telling me. I even joked with the Ricky Ricardo voice that she's "got some 'splainin to do..."

As I write this 4 days after that day, I don't have that feeling. And it's been a long, long time that I've not had it. I hope, when it comes to Regret and her affair, that I don't feel them any more.

Thank you to everyone who wrote in B1's 'Reconciliation' thread during my stay at banned camp. Thank you for showing support for Regret and I as we went through such a crappy couple days. And thank you to those who reached out to me via email...you know who you are. Your internet based friendship with me has exceeded anything I could ever have asked for. TAM is great. It's just in my emails, I can actually say the word ****!

Fast forward to today, 9/10...and I have a 2 week long series of classes for professional development. It's good for remembering stuff I've learned, but also for giving insight to things I haven't worked on yet. The bad thing is the location. See, back on March 6th when I caught Regret, I told you guys that I found out from an email of a hotel receipt. Well...the damn hotel where they met up just happens to be at the same exit as our central branch for work about 30 miles from home. Total coincidence as I didn't have the job back then, but just crappy that now...for 2 f'ng weeks, I get to drive by this awesomely major trigger. Today was the first day. Here I am 6 months out from Dday and I actually had an issue with some mind movies. Short ones, yes. But still painful.

So, for the next 2 weeks I might at times be on edge a bit. I immediately sent Regret a text telling her of my trigger just so I could deal with it and get it out of my head. Lucky for me though, the office is like 5 miles from there, so I was in class and networking and that got my mind off of things.

Til I had to come home. Geesh. Kinda sucky.

But I'm back. We're still working at it. All in all...I'm feeling pretty good.


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## SoulStorm (Jul 17, 2012)

Welcome back Dig, I wondered where you went to 

Glad to see you back from banned camp.

Trickle Truth...It is awful.
The one thing that waywards don't understand right away is that they are not helping the BS by keeping information hidden.

It makes it worse and can set reconciliation back to day 1.

It is out of fear that waywards do this. If I tell him/her this..they are really going to leave me.

What is overlooked is, it is not the information that will get you to leave..it is the lying and withholding information that will make you leave.

I am a bit surprised as I thought Regret would or should have known this.
As much reading and commenting as she has done..she knew/knows that TT kills.

You have great Spidey Senses..or you just plain know your wife.

Lesson to anyone reading;

It is not the affair that necessarily kills the marriage in the end. it is the lying and omission of details that will.
Because until the whole truth comes out..you are still a liar.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

SoulStorm said:


> Welcome back Dig, I wondered where you went to
> 
> Glad to see you back from banned camp.
> 
> ...


Yes...yes...yes!! It's the lying. At least, that's the case for me. Seriously people...we're talking about tiny details of the sex part of the affair. Nothing major! But Regret, for whatever reason, thought they would be deal breakers and therefore withheld the honest answers.

As of today...my Spider senses are quiet.

And that makes me happy.


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

Hey Dig -- Welcome back.

Can you get off an exit earlier and take the back roads to your conference. Changing your route for 9 days, if you can, may help.

Just something to consider.

I think Regret learned a valuable lesson when the incident with the TT happened.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

jh52 said:


> Hey Dig -- Welcome back.
> 
> Can you get off an exit earlier and tke the back roads to your conference. Changing your route for 9 days, if you can, may help.
> 
> Just something to consider.


Thanks JH!

Unfortunately, no. The exit prior drives me directly by the entrance to the hotel. The exit after brings me about 8 miles further and deep into heavy traffic. It would add close to 20 minutes.

Reality is this: Class begins at 9am. My kids get on the bus at my house at 9am. I stay with my kids and the office gets that. I've made that a non-negotiable part of my employment. Family First. Period. That said, it takes about half an hour to get there and adding any extra time for my avoidance just wouldn't work.

Thank you for the thoughts. I'm just gonna have to deal with this.

Funny side story though!! You guys will really like this one. So, a couple weeks ago Regret's counselor gave her the name of a good IC for me to see. Unfortunately, the guy's name just happens to be the same as the xOM. AND his office is off the exit we're talking about. LMAO. Regret told her - yeah...that's not gonna work for Dig!! :rofl:


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

"Funny side story though!! You guys will really like this one. So, a couple weeks ago Regret's counselor gave her the name of a good IC for me to see. Unfortunately, the guy's name just happens to be the same as the xOM. AND his office is off the exit we're talking about. LMAO. Regret told her - yeah...that's not gonna work for Dig!! "

No [email protected] way !!! What are the chances of that. Time for you and Regret to buy a lottery ticket.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Welcome back, Dig!

By the way, eventually that hotel will not trigger you any more.

And I speak from my own personal experience in things that used to be a trigger which now do not bother me at all.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

jh52 said:


> "Funny side story though!! You guys will really like this one. So, a couple weeks ago Regret's counselor gave her the name of a good IC for me to see. Unfortunately, the guy's name just happens to be the same as the xOM. AND his office is off the exit we're talking about. LMAO. Regret told her - yeah...that's not gonna work for Dig!! "
> 
> No [email protected] way !!! What are the chances of that. Time for you and Regret to buy a lottery ticket.


Dude...I kid you not, when Regret told me I sat there stunned for a second. Then, I laughed my a$$ off. I said, "Are you f'ng kidding me?" She laughed back and told me that she just told the lady, "Yeah, that's not gonna work for Dig". F'ng Classic!!



MattMatt said:


> Welcome back, Dig!
> 
> By the way, eventually that hotel will not trigger you any more.
> 
> And I speak from my own personal experience in things that used to be a trigger which now do not bother me at all.


Thanks, Matt. I agree. It will stop triggering me. I only know this cuz there's another place where they met that I drive by all the time and rarely give it a second thought any more. I think it's just new crap. But I'm okay. I honestly wasn't ready for the couple mind movies though. That was kind of from outta nowhere!


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## B1 (Jun 14, 2012)

so glad you two worked through those issues. hope its all out there now. also glad you didn't break your hand....I thought I did break mine on dday. 

hey we picked up chips and beer were celebrating your release from band camp 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Exsquid (Jul 31, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Yes...yes...yes!! It's the lying. At least, that's the case for me. Seriously people...we're talking about tiny details of the sex part of the affair. Nothing major! But Regret, for whatever reason, thought they would be deal breakers and therefore withheld the honest answers.



I feel the exact same way! Lying and/or withholding is the worst part for me.

My spider is on overdrive still. lol I think I'm in for some rough times ahead


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

I get it man. A lie...ANY LIE hurts like hell. Hopefully honesty is the word of the day in the Dig household.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

betrayed1 said:


> so glad you two worked through those issues. hope its all out there now. also glad you didn't break your hand....I thought I did break mine on dday.
> 
> hey we picked up chips and beer were celebrating your release from band camp
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Dorito's!!!!



Exsquid said:


> I feel the exact same way! Lying and/or withholding is the worst part for me.
> 
> My spider is on overdrive still. lol I think I'm in for some rough times ahead


Be strong. Know your limitations. Don't let your anger take over your true self, though. Ever.



joe kidd said:


> I get it man. A lie...ANY LIE hurts like hell. Hopefully honesty is the word of the day in the Dig household.


It's the word of our lives, Kidd!! The way it should be. No lies. Not even little secrets or anything. It just ain't healthy. Get it all out there. Let us heal. Things will be soooo much easier that way. :smthumbup:


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Welcome back, man! You were missed.
Glad to see you are hangin in there.


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## TroubledSexLife (Aug 23, 2012)

Dig,

I hate to say this but I strongly advise you to leave her. When a woman has an affair, she is in love with her AP. Regret had an affair for 5 years? You honestly think she developed NO FEELINGS for the OM? She risked EVERYTHING for years to be with him. She did not love you then. 

Perhaps, it is possible that she did not love the OM but what kind of a woman uses sex as a coping mechanism? One of very low character and questionable ethics.

I also frequented doccool for a little while and noticed an interesting poll on the site. Some women who claimed to love their husbands but still having an affair stated that after DDAY, they would pick their husband, treat him nicely, and then later restart the affair secretly/underground.

Finally, did you ever talk to OMW and get details from her? Or polygraph Regret? There might be some hidden information still being withheld. After all, she had lied for 5 years.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

#1--that night I was afraid for you; glad you two survived it. 

#2--welcome back from "banned" camp!


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Not a problem, Somedaydig. I bear no grudges, never have, never will.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

What were the 3 things she admitted to? If its private you don't have to say.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

TroubledSexLife said:


> Dig,
> 
> I hate to say this but I strongly advise you to leave her. When a woman has an affair, she is in love with her AP. Regret had an affair for 5 years? You honestly think she developed NO FEELINGS for the OM? She risked EVERYTHING for years to be with him. She did not love you then.
> 
> ...


I had an awesomely, smarmy commentary and reply. I think I'll tell you instead to maybe just read our entire back story.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

ubercoolpanda said:


> What were the 3 things she admitted to? If its private you don't have to say.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




Private things. They were small details of a sexual nature.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

saying small and sex in the same sentence gives me a complex


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> saying small and sex in the same sentence gives me a complex


It would for me too, AR. Luckily, this topic revolved around the xom!! LMAO
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cpacan (Jan 2, 2012)

Welcome back, Dig - missed you, and your self ironic straight forwardness around.

Glad you are both good


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Affaircare said:


> #1--that night I was afraid for you; glad you two survived it.
> 
> #2--welcome back from "banned" camp!


Yeah, that night was pretty rough. Thanks for your support for Regret and me!


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

cpacan said:


> Welcome back, Dig - missed you, and your self ironic straight forwardness around.
> 
> Glad you are both good


Thanks CC. I try to be straight forward...just next time, I'll make sure it's within the guidelines! :smthumbup:


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Having been banned, myself, it isn't the end of life, as we know it. It just makes us a little more circumspect in our posts. Actually except for the different decisons we made, Somedaydig's and my situation hare remarkably similar. I, too , trigger whenever I passed the Hotel that I caught my ex-wife and her OP (other pervert) playing their games in. The odd thing is, that the name of the Hotel is one that is prevelant in my family. So anytime I see so-and-so, or any of the other cousins having that last name, I would involuntarily trigger. Which really sucks at family gatherings. The other obvious difference is that Regret is , of course, sane, while My ex was a nut-case........and, no.....my family's last name isn't Ramada.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

This is my cousin, "Motel 6"


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

O. M. G. !!!  Badblood is a HILTON!!










:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Affaircare said:


> O. M. G. !!!  Badblood is a HILTON!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That's not even funny, AC Although Paris seems to have the same oral skills as my ex-wife.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

Glad you're back, Babe! I love you!


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Dig do you agree that sooner or later like most IC/MC say you will need to let Regret off the hook ?? I know that time does help tremendously in these cases I was just curious as to your thoughts on that issue I mean after awhile it really isnt fair to keep threating the Big D anyway thats what my IC told me was to stop threatening her with D this was after a full disclosure of events and what not and I am glad yall are back keep up the good work Brah


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

In_The_Wind said:


> Dig do you agree that sooner or later like most IC/MC say you will need to let Regret off the hook ?? I know that time does help tremendously in these cases I was just curious as to your thoughts on that issue I mean after awhile it really isnt fair to keep threating the Big D anyway thats what my IC told me was to stop threatening her with D this was after a full disclosure of events and what not and I am glad yall are back keep up the good work Brah


I agree, man that there will come a point when I "let her off the hook". I honestly can't tell you when that will be. I've asked my questions for a reason and that has helped me move through this crap. As I said, asking details ain't for everyone. Funny thing for me is, after she tells me something I can literally let it go. Regret can even vouch for me that unless it is something very troubling, I haven't really brought up any of the details to throw in her face.

While I haven't really threatened divorce...well, not in so many words...I never thought that would be a good barter point, IMO for us.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

i just curious when the wife and i were going through our issues and she had a revenge affair on me i would threaten her all the time and i didnt realize how often i did it until the mc mentioned it to me and made me promise that i would nt say it, i would get mad and well you goofy B i am going to divorce your ass or something along those lines then i would storm out and go riding or something its funny now but then i would get so worked up anyway i had to start a one day at time thing and to stay and try to work through stuff versus running off pissed if that makes sense its been a few years that i havent had to say it now i did learn that doing the opposite of what i normally would do seemed to work crazy huh


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

So...you're kind of like George Costanza. Everything that your gut tells you to do, just do the opposite!! LOL


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

SomedayDig said:


> So...you're kind of like George Costanza. Everything that your gut tells you to do, just do the opposite!! LOL


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

yes first thought wrong lol


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

"Hi...my name is George. I'm unemployed and live with my parents."
Flattering look from female.
"Well, hello George..."

LMAO!!


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Dig I know that your greatest wish would be to have a nice long stretch where the A doesn't come up at all. It will come man and with it the urge to hold it over her head will go.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Kidd...the good news is that 8/30 eruption was the last time we really talked about the affair until yesterday. Admittedly, I believe it was being triggered from having to drive by that f'ng hotel. It was a good run and I look forward to longer and longer stretches.

And thank you to both you and ITW for using the term "hold it over her head". See, I've always just thought of it as I'm angry over the crap, but using the wording you guys used gives me a little different perspective. A paradigm shift if you will. I appreciate that.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

SomedayDig said:


> I agree, man that there will come a point when I "let her off the hook". I honestly can't tell you when that will be. I've asked my questions for a reason and that has helped me move through this crap. As I said, asking details ain't for everyone. Funny thing for me is, after she tells me something I can literally let it go. Regret can even vouch for me that unless it is something very troubling, I haven't really brought up any of the details to throw in her face.
> 
> While I haven't really threatened divorce...well, not in so many words...I never thought that would be a good barter point, IMO for us.


"Let her off the Hook"? Why would you do that Somedaydig? I've heard both you and B1 say similar things, and I always wonder why? What part of your R would you consider as being punishment? Or, on the other hand, what part of her wedding vows can you "cut her some slack", about? Complete transparency, total honesty, total NC with the OM, earned trust, and putting your interests first, are nothing more or less than the vows she took when you got married. It would seem to me that Empty Inside and Regret, if they are truly remorseful spouses,would object very strongly to being "let off the Hook". I think that we sometimes get the idea , that at some point in time, the affair will be consigned to the "past", and the marriage will return to..........what? What it was, Pre-affair? Not going to happen. I really feel that being"on the hook", for each other, is the healthiest way for Both partners to be , after the affair.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

the comment letting her off the hook was in regards to his anger or resentment towards regret I mean sooner or later you have to let folks off the hook or you will be full of anger. Anger causes all kinds of issues both mentally and physically so you believe that 5 years down the road he should still be angry and upset at her ?? I would tend to thank the healthy choice would be deal with his issues let her deal with hers etc for example my ex wife who i divorced in 1995was a serial cheater should i still be pissed off at her hell i dont even allow her room in my head nowadays


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

In_The_Wind said:


> the comment letting her off the hook was in regards to his anger or resentment towards regret I mean sooner or later you have to let folks off the hook or you will be full of anger. Anger causes all kinds of issues both mentally and physically so you believe that 5 years down the road he should still be angry and upset at her ?? I would tend to thank the healthy choice would be deal with his issues let her deal with hers etc for example my ex wife who i divorced in 1995was a serial cheater should i still be pissed off at her hell i dont even allow her room in my head nowadays


The difference is the Somedaydig is still with his wife, and we divorced ours. It's easier to let go of anger , when the object of that anger isn't sleeping next to you. Perhaps that was his meaning, but I think that anger and resentment can be channeled into caution and watchfulness. If my ex-wife were still, "on the hook", that would mean that she is still trying to repair the damage she did, and isn't letting her guard down, or continuing to make bad choices.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

By the way...I'm a little nervous tonight. See, since Dday, the only counseling I had was with our MC for about 5 sessions. I honestly wasn't getting much out of it as the focus was on the marriage now. Today. It was about what to do about our marriage in the here and now and didn't really face the infidelity issue. So, I decided she wasn't adept or properly trained in such a specialized area of marital counseling. She's good cuz Regret has gotten a lot from her as an IC.

Anyways, I have my first IC tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about it. I think I'm nervous cuz I'm gonna have to relive the story again, but in extreme detail with my feelings of anger, sadness and all that other crap.

I know it's what I need. I'm just nervous.

And then Friday I have a full blown physical with a doc. I haven't had one in a decade. Yeah, I had to get one every 6 months as a pilot, but that was nothing more than blood pressure and EKG. Nothing really heavy. I'm thinking about asking about anti-depressant meds. In 6 months, the only meds I've had are my friend John Daniels and his Russian friend Sobieski.

EDIT: Oh...and Regret and I have an appointment to meet with a specialized MC next month. We've been waiting for almost 2 months because the counselor is on a sabbatical writing a book on infidelity. At least then WE might get some good coping tools and get down to some questions from her about US and the reconciliation.


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> By the way...I'm a little nervous tonight. See, since Dday, the only counseling I had was with our MC for about 5 sessions. I honestly wasn't getting much out of it as the focus was on the marriage now. Today. It was about what to do about our marriage in the here and now and didn't really face the infidelity issue. So, I decided she wasn't adept or properly trained in such a specialized area of marital counseling. She's good cuz Regret has gotten a lot from her as an IC.
> 
> Anyways, I have my first IC tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about it. I think I'm nervous cuz I'm gonna have to relive the story again, but in extreme detail with my feelings of anger, sadness and all that other crap.
> 
> ...


Dig -- my suggestion would be to push back the IC. The reason I say that is because when I was in IC -- I walked out of the sessions physically and emotionally drained. Not sure how well I would have done with a physical exam the next day.

Just my 2 cents.


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## cpacan (Jan 2, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> By the way...I'm a little nervous tonight. See, since Dday, the only counseling I had was with our MC for about 5 sessions. I honestly wasn't getting much out of it as the focus was on the marriage now. Today. It was about what to do about our marriage in the here and now and didn't really face the infidelity issue. So, I decided she wasn't adept or properly trained in such a specialized area of marital counseling. She's good cuz Regret has gotten a lot from her as an IC.
> 
> Anyways, I have my first IC tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about it. I think I'm nervous cuz I'm gonna have to relive the story again, but in extreme detail with my feelings of anger, sadness and all that other crap.
> 
> ...


You will do good in IC. The first session or two, yeah, you may have to relive it because you need to fill in the IC on your story.

But from there, I think that you will benefit, because your thoughts will be challenged differently than you probably are used to. It may give you some different perspectives. And from what I have seen from you, you are a reflective guy, so my guess is, it will do you good (assuming it's a good therapist/psych.)

Good luck.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Jh...I just wanted to let you know I did think about your comment and how I might feel after an IC session. I decided to keep the appointment and I'm happy I did.

The guy is great. I think we're a good fit. First thing he said was, "If you feel like swearing, let it fly!" LOL I was immediately like F yeah! And I'll tell ya what. I feel better right now. A lot of what he had to say, even though this was just a first session, made sense. I even liked his stance on the details of the affair. He said, "It's the last thing we wanna know and the first thing we ask." The counsel he gave me on it was to ask if I knew enough and I said yes. He was happy to hear that, but he did say that he'd be there for me to ask how best to get any further details and help me work through them.

It was good.


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## B1 (Jun 14, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Jh...I just wanted to let you know I did think about your comment and how I might feel after an IC session. I decided to keep the appointment and I'm happy I did.
> 
> The guy is great. I think we're a good fit. First thing he said was, "If you feel like swearing, let it fly!" LOL I was immediately like F yeah! And I'll tell ya what. I feel better right now. A lot of what he had to say, even though this was just a first session, made sense. I even liked his stance on the details of the affair. He said, "It's the last thing we wanna know and the first thing we ask." The counsel he gave me on it was to ask if I knew enough and I said yes. He was happy to hear that, but he did say that he'd be there for me to ask how best to get any further details and help me work through them.
> 
> It was good.


Dig, so glad to hear you liked the therapist and the session. This should really help both of you in the healing process.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Too bad he didn't have any availability tomorrow. I have my physical at 11am and don't have my class tomorrow. Unfortunately, he's booked for next week already, but has me on his call list in case of a cancellation. 

I have an appointment scheduled for the following week, though cuz I'll pretty much be finished with classes and will have my days open again.

I can definitely feel that it's gonna be good for me AND for Regret.


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Jh...I just wanted to let you know I did think about your comment and how I might feel after an IC session. I decided to keep the appointment and I'm happy I did.
> 
> The guy is great. I think we're a good fit. First thing he said was, "If you feel like swearing, let it fly!" LOL I was immediately like F yeah! And I'll tell ya what. I feel better right now. A lot of what he had to say, even though this was just a first session, made sense. I even liked his stance on the details of the affair. He said, "It's the last thing we wanna know and the first thing we ask." The counsel he gave me on it was to ask if I knew enough and I said yes. He was happy to hear that, but he did say that he'd be there for me to ask how best to get any further details and help me work through them.
> 
> It was good.


I glad it was a good session and even better that your counselor is someone familiar with your type of situation and lets you do anything --- scream, swear, yell,vent,etc. It's your time and you Dig have earned it.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Thanks jh...it's definitely my time, man. I know this cuz I won a best ball golf tournament today. $80!! 

Seriously, yes...I actually chose him because he specializes in infidelity cases. All the others I was referred to didn't really. They were family oriented but not specialized.


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