# I just wish he will divorce me.



## Findinganswer (Oct 3, 2012)

I so regret of meeting him, marrying him. If only time can let me go back to the past, let me find out what love really is.

I have known him for 15 years, married for 13 years, I have not been happy for the past few years and always wonder why I am so. Now that my kids are more independent, I found out the answer why.

I have been busy with my kids (9 and 6 now) for the past few years, I have made myself so occupied to my kids, to this family since my mom sudden death 11 years ago. After mom died, i quickly made myself pregnant thought if not he is getting too old to be a father ( he was 41 then) , when the 2nd one was born, instead of saying something beautiful, he said," the 1st miscarriage could have been a boy". That hurt my feeling so bad, I had a miscarriage because I wasn't fit to get pregnant as I was still grieving for my mom's death, for him, instead of being consoling and encouraging, saying these to me. 


I am just a typical woman, I love attentions, flowers,gifts etc, but I didn't receive more than 10 gifts for the past 15 years that we have been together. No surprise romantic phone calls, nor surprise birthday gifts. I am an attractive woman, men turn their heads when I walk into stores or malls, but this man of mine never say " you are beautiful", NEVER, not even on our wedding day. I always thought I probably don't look good enough for him. This has made me starting to enjoy other man's compliments.
There is no harmony inside the bedroom either, then I start to think this man just want to get into my pant from the 1st day we met.
I have married a roommate instead of having a husband. There is no romantic moment what so ever, I tried to be the one initiating the romance, but he didn't get the clue. Why did I marry a dork? I don't see a point for me to teach this man to be romantic, the thought of it give me goosebumps.

I start to wish he is having an affair outside just so that this will be a good excuse for me to leave him. Well , a boring man like him, I doubt it if there will be any woman out there will have interest in him. He is 15 years older and yet don't know how to treat a woman, if I leave him now, I don't know what would happen to him. 
I just lost my dad 2 weeks ago, I didn't get a supportive hug nor shoulder to cry on from him either , I come to the point of giving up. If not because of my daughters, I would have long gone by now.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Why is it his responsibility to act according to your wants? You speak very disrespectfully of him, so no wonder you can't feel any love for him, why do you need him to be the one to do something destructive in order to have an excuse? You have all the justification to end the marriage that you need: you are not willing or able to love him, so do yourselves both a favor and file for divorce.

Realize I'm all pro-marriage but it only begins when there are two spouses who want to be married - and even though he is not currently meeting your needs he very likely wants the marriage for whatever it represents to him, so this will probably be devastating for him but in time he will be better for it and very likely will find someone wonderful who is more compatible once his scars heal over and he learns to accept himself again. If you were honest with him about not loving him than maybe he'd do what you wish and divorce you?


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## Targ (Dec 13, 2012)

If he is really as bad and disinterested in the marriage as you say, why not just talk to him about it. He might just surprise you and agree to a divorce.


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## chicagocat (Jan 22, 2013)

you are grieving, I am sorry for your loss. Your resentments are your problem. Your marriage is a commitment, not an entitlement. Love is patient, kind and giving.


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