# Husbands fantasizing during sex



## Mr Vanilla (Nov 14, 2018)

How do women feel if their husband is fantasizing about other women during sex? Some women might be aware of this while others might be oblivious.

I personally indulge in fantasies quite often and while she may have her suspicions she does not ask. She does, after all, reap the benefits !
Religious conservatives may condemn me as an adulterer but I will take that on the chin with a smile.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

She's probably having fantasies of her own in her mind. Cucking you, BBC, lesbian, MMF threesomes, gang bangs, her boss, who knows?


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

thunderchad said:


> She's probably having fantasies of her own in her mind. Cucking you, BBC, lesbian, MMF threesomes, gang bangs, her boss, who knows?


My wife finally admits she has fantasies but won’t share them with me. Kinda fun to wonder about.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Mr Vanilla said:


> How do women feel if their husband is fantasizing about other women during sex? Some women might be aware of this while others might be oblivious.
> 
> I personally indulge in fantasies quite often and while she may have her suspicions she does not ask. She does, after all, reap the benefits !
> Religious conservatives may condemn me as an adulterer *but I will take that on the chin with a smile.*


....and so will she.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

thunderchad said:


> Do you want to wear a cage and watch in the corner? It seems to be a new trend here.


Lmao! Um, no, not on my radar. But if that’s your desire, good luck with it!


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

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## OddOne (Sep 27, 2018)

OnTheFly said:


> ....and so will she.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

She is already nailing Aquaman don’t you worry 👍


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Mr Vanilla said:


> How do women feel if their husband is fantasizing about other women during sex? Some women might be aware of this while others might be oblivious.
> 
> I personally indulge in fantasies quite often and while she may have her suspicions she does not ask. She does, after all, reap the benefits !
> Religious conservatives may condemn me as an adulterer but I will take that on the chin with a smile.


No they’d never be oblivious, a woman always knows. (And I’m afraid that sort of performance would be sub-standard) 

After the initial shock and tears and pain… they’d be heartbroken and feel less than. 

But they’d soon eventually be thinking about firemen, police with cuffs and maybe a soccer team. Because if you think they’re reaping the rewards that sort of half effort, you better look like Jason Statham, or Brad Pitt or a Hemsworth. 

Be into her. Be there, not elsewhere. We know the difference and believe me it will affect your performance. Nobody wants to sleep with the pimply guy who’s got boxes of porn. 😉 

Cheers!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

women who fantasize, probably fantasize when having sex. not always, but some of the time.

but there ARE women who never fantasize....its just not how their brain works.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Don't mean to brag but my wife is hot enough that I never felt like I wanted to fantasize about someone else.I do like seeing her in different outfits though and sometimes I like her with he reading glasses on. lol


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

CatholicDad said:


> Don't mean to brag but my wife is hot enough that I never felt like I wanted to fantasize about someone else.I do like seeing her in different outfits though and sometimes I like her with he reading glasses on. lol


Go Diana 😍!!!!!


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Mr.Married said:


> Go Diana 😍!!!!!


They are across the pond from each other.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Go Diana 😍!!!!!


Ok, that joke was perfect.


As for me, my wife actually ticks off all the boxes of my preferences of physical attractiveness in a woman. I like'em curvy with big natural boobs. My wife has this in spades. If she is naked in front of me, then I'm good to go. I'm a simple man and enjoy the simple things in life.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Ok, that joke was perfect.
> 
> 
> As for me, my wife actually ticks off all the boxes of my preferences of physical attractiveness in a woman. I like'em curvy with big natural boobs. My wife has this in spades. If she is naked in front of me, then I'm good to go. I'm a simple man and enjoy the simple things in life.


At last we know why you are not divorcing her...


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

thunderchad said:


> She's probably having fantasies of her own in her mind. Cucking you, BBC, lesbian, MMF threesomes, gang bangs, her boss, who knows?


This is more accurately descriptive, more sad, than funny.

Don't ask, don't tell, don't show it.

In the honeymoon phase of a marriage this is likely less of an occurrence.
After decades of marriage, who knows, and who would dare admit it?

Reality is often ugly when the covers are pulled off.

It is very hard to keep the romance flame burning when family life is going every which way, mostly running amok.

In those quiet times, many often look away, and look outside the window for comfort.


_Lilith-_


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

OP, what would possibly be the point in telling your wife that you have to think about other women to get excited? What purpose could that possibly serve other than to hurt and humiliate her? What someone does in their head is private, and on an intellectual level we all realize that we age over time and aren't enough. Why would you want to tell your wife that you can't get excited without pretending she's someone else?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Mr Vanilla said:


> She does, after all, reap the benefits !


This never fails to make me laugh. Oh, Arrogance, thy name is man.

It is also an oft used excuse for viewing porn.

Get over yourself, already! You ain't all that.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> It is also an oft used excuse for viewing porn.


It's also used as an excuse for lap dances and picking up women at bars. "I was so turned on by someone else, then I turned off all the lights, shut my eyes real tight and pretended she was someone else! HUSBAND OF THE YEAR!"


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

It’s probably best if you don’t scream out her best friends name …. or her mother’s 😬


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

I find the original post to be a very odd humble brag. Like he's the only one who's ever done this and is so very proud of it. Very strange that someone would be near giddy about doing something that hurts his wife.

Hopefully, he won't be back soon complaining that his wife no longer wants to touch him. 

Spoiler alert, OP: she knows.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

theloveofmylife said:


> Hopefully, he won't be back soon complaining that his wife no longer wants to touch him.


You are nicer than I am. His wife deserves better than to be his "Plan B."


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

theloveofmylife said:


> I find the original post to be a very odd humble brag. Like he's the only one who's ever done this and is so very proud of it. Very strange that someone would be near giddy about doing something that hurts his wife.
> 
> Hopefully, he won't be back soon complaining that his wife no longer wants to touch him.
> 
> Spoiler alert, OP: she knows.


Maybe he doesn’t know that what she really wants is for him to wear a Biden mask. 😅

All joking aside the original post is pretty strange like you say 😕


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

I never fantasized about any other woman but my wife. Even when I watch porn I only fantasize about her.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Oh I fantasize alright, that it just gets done with and I can move on with my life. >.< 

I'm secure enough with myself it wouldn't bother me and if women out there think their men haven't thought of another while in the act they are naïve. That's human nature, NOW, are they playing it out or pushing it away? That's the interesting part I think.


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## TonyM (Jan 5, 2021)

Mr Vanilla said:


> How do women feel if their husband is fantasizing about other women during sex? Some women might be aware of this while others might be oblivious.
> 
> I personally indulge in fantasies quite often and while she may have her suspicions she does not ask. She does, after all, reap the benefits !
> Religious conservatives may condemn me as an adulterer but I will take that on the chin with a smile.


If I understand correctly, you are fantasizing about other women during sex with your wife, right? I feel it is partly natural since males are driven physically as opposed to women being more emotionally driven. Most men love to look at the female body and thinking of a coworker, friend, etc. in that manner can be exciting. I've been there many times myself and I'm going on 26 years of marriage and we have a very strong sex life. I feel the problem is when you are focusing on these fantasies more than on your wife and her pleasure. 
Have you tried discussing the issue with your wife? Many would be highly jealous and wonder why you would do such a thing and they won't understand why it happens. Some others may admit doing it also. You can have those fantasies while also focusing on your wife and her needs. Make sure to say your wife's name during sex. Tell her how much she pleases you. If she is pleased then I'm pretty sure you'll end up pleased as well. So, fantasize all you want but make your wife the star and center of attention.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> This never fails to make me laugh. Oh, Arrogance, thy name is man.
> 
> It is also an oft used excuse for viewing porn.
> 
> Get over yourself, already! You ain't all that.


I somehow missed this solid gold post from yesterday. Thought Blondi was going soft after the very nice post she said to me the other day. 

Nope. Blondi still Blondi. 😂


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

LATERILUS79 said:


> I somehow missed this solid gold post from yesterday. Thought Blondi was going soft after the very nice post she said to me the other day.
> 
> Nope. Blondi still Blondi. 😂


'Til death do us part.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Republicans sexually frustrated, actually want to date her


It turns out there’s a reason Republicans are hostile to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: They want her to be their bae.




www.washingtontimes.com






so fess up, any consvatives fantasize about AOC?
or is she just delusional?


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## Korolover (11 mo ago)

Mr Vanilla said:


> How do women feel if their husband is fantasizing about other women during sex? Some women might be aware of this while others might be oblivious.
> 
> I personally indulge in fantasies quite often and while she may have her suspicions she does not ask. She does, after all, reap the benefits !
> Religious conservatives may condemn me as an adulterer but I will take that on the chin with a smile.


Man I only fantasise about my own wife even when I’m masterbating. Yes we do together fantasise about stuff but it’s never other girls abs other guys. Work on your relationship. Build it up. Also do not fall for Thos feminist **** , spank her be a man. You’ll be better off with your wife than thinking of anyone else


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## Korolover (11 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> It’s probably best if you don’t scream out her best friends name …. or her mother’s 😬


I always only think about my wife . Although she herself has suggested many a times a few of her friends . I still think of my Wife mostly ( like 75💯After she mentions someone else


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Bugbug said:


> I always only think about my wife . Although she herself has suggested many a times a few of her friends . I still think of my Wife mostly ( like 75💯After she mentions someone else


your wife wants you to fantasize about sex with her female friends???

Woo Hoo, sounds like time for some serious role play!


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

Talker67 said:


> Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Republicans sexually frustrated, actually want to date her
> 
> 
> It turns out there’s a reason Republicans are hostile to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: They want her to be their bae.
> ...


She is attractive enough but she would have to agree to never speak a word or make the googly eyes she is famous for, yes even in a fantasy!


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Republicans sexually frustrated, actually want to date her
> 
> 
> It turns out there’s a reason Republicans are hostile to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: They want her to be their bae.
> ...


During her college days she was pretty enough. 
But she went through leftist camp for feminists.


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## aaarghdub (Jul 15, 2017)

A lot of people here saying they fantasize about their own spouse during sex and I’m in that camp as well. 

I would offer the notion that a lot of men are like this but women are conditioned to think this is a bunch of bunk. Along the lines of “well you’re only saying that ‘cause you have too.” But that being said, while it is natural for guys to checkout a coworker or girl at the gym and momentarily fantasize about it, a lot women just don’t believe their husbands are attracted to them. If you are fantasizing about another women during sex, there’s something else nefarious going on.

TBH a lot of husbands are probably fantasizing about a more sexually aggressive version of their wife (I.e. more dirty talk, them getting off on you getting off, loving oral, what they used to do, etc).


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## Korolover (11 mo ago)

Talker67 said:


> your wife wants you to fantasize about sex with her female friends???
> 
> Woo Hoo, sounds like time for some serious role play!


Oh we’ve had plenty of that . Will share details . Not here though


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## Korolover (11 mo ago)

aaarghdub said:


> A lot of people here saying they fantasize about their own spouse during sex and I’m in that camp as well.
> 
> I would offer the notion that a lot of men are like this but women are conditioned to think this is a bunch of bunk. Along the lines of “well you’re only saying that ‘cause you have too.” But that being said, while it is natural for guys to checkout a coworker or girl at the gym and momentarily fantasize about it, a lot women just don’t believe their husbands are attracted to them. If you are fantasizing about another women during sex, there’s something else nefarious going on.
> 
> TBH a lot of husbands are probably fantasizing about a more sexually aggressive version of their wife (I.e. more dirty talk, them getting off on you getting off, loving oral, what they used to do, etc).


To be honest I’m just thinking about my wife the wah she is but Ure absolutely right . A more aggressive porn actress version of her is sometimes nice but it’s it’s her


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

so if you only fantasize about your wife....
what happens if you fantasize your wife as a cosplay figure? i.e. she is transformed into someone entirely new, no longer your wife. 

is that technically still "only fantasizing about my wife"?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Always Learning said:


> She is attractive enough but she would have to agree to never speak a word or make the googly eyes she is famous for, yes even in a fantasy!


technology to the rescue


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## Korolover (11 mo ago)

Talker67 said:


> so if you only fantasize about your wife....
> what happens if you fantasize your wife as a cosplay figure? i.e. she is transformed into someone entirely new, no longer your wife.
> 
> is that technically still "only fantasizing about my wife"?


Yes slight variation but that’s still my wife not some co worker or a road side hooker


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

Talker67 said:


> technology to the rescue
> 
> View attachment 83846


what about the googly eyes


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

aaarghdub said:


> A lot of people here saying they fantasize about their own spouse during sex and I’m in that camp as well.
> 
> I would offer the notion that a lot of men are like this but women are conditioned to think this is a bunch of bunk. Along the lines of “well you’re only saying that ‘cause you have too.” But that being said, while it is natural for guys to checkout a coworker or girl at the gym and momentarily fantasize about it, a lot women just don’t believe their husbands are attracted to them. If you are fantasizing about another women during sex, there’s something else nefarious going on.
> 
> TBH a lot of husbands are probably fantasizing about a more sexually aggressive version of their wife (I.e. more dirty talk, them getting off on you getting off, loving oral, what they used to do, etc).


Or when she was younger and more firm.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> Or when she was younger and more firm.


Just FYI, this isn’t better.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Just FYI, this isn’t better.


I understand that. However, he's still fantasizing about his wife and not the neighbour.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> Or when she was younger and more firm.


I can see this, especially if the husband is just as firm as when he was young.... just as firm... everywhere.


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## Bea22 (9 mo ago)

I could never understand how someone can fantasize about anyone else while having sex. I've always wanted to beforehand and then during I'm so into it with my husband that I focus on him and I forget to fantasize ✌😏🤣 never done it. And I'm really honest as ****.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Fantasies, they take you somewhere.
Somewhere away from the action.

The action is in the physical realm, not in the fantasy.
Can you really feel a fantasy?

Those strokes are felt.
Felt, and velvet, not imagined.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Talker67 said:


> Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Republicans sexually frustrated, actually want to date her
> 
> 
> It turns out there’s a reason Republicans are hostile to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: They want her to be their bae.
> ...


She is very delusional. 🤢🤮


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> She is very delusional. 🤢🤮


Yeah. Eww.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Yeah. Eww.


I don’t even know what you’re responding to but I grateful to not have seen it. 😍


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Communism isn’t attractive.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Always Learning said:


> what about the googly eyes
> 
> View attachment 83847


What is bug eyed psycho hose beast for a $100 Alex.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Mr Vanilla said:


> How do women feel if their husband is fantasizing about other women during sex?


The rational side of me would feel there's a disconnect between us and would look for the solution to the problem.

The irrational side of me would want to accidentally shout his best friend's name repeatedly while climaxing.


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## weysally (Sep 7, 2020)

OnTheFly said:


> ....and so will she.


my husband use to say things like, he wished he had more hands to caress me with, these remarks eventually led to us having MFMs, I of course get full benefit from them, and my husband who is a voyeur gets what he wants, a certain amount of power, and his obsession of seeing me enjoying sex


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## weysally (Sep 7, 2020)

Bea22 said:


> I could never understand how someone can fantasize about anyone else while having sex. I've always wanted to beforehand and then during I'm so into it with my husband that I focus on him and I forget to fantasize ✌😏🤣 never done it. And I'm really honest as ****.


my husband mentioned things during foreplay, which we now both benefit from but never during actual sex,


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

weysally said:


> my husband use to say things like, he wished he had more hands to caress me with, these remarks eventually led to us having MFMs, I of course get full benefit from them, and my husband who is a voyeur gets what he wants, a certain amount of power, and his obsession of seeing me enjoying sex


I often whisper during foreplay scenes of our sexual enjoyment with others. Not in real life yet, but as my wife says “never say never.”


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Wow. I’m actually stunned by some of these responses. If I were to find out my SO was fantasizing about another woman while he was inside me, adios you effing pig. I’d drop his ass in two seconds flat.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Not said:


> Wow. I’m actually stunned by some of these responses. If I were to find out my SO was fantasizing about another woman while he was inside me, adios you effing pig. I’d drop his ass in two seconds flat.


A fantasy has never crossed your mind while having fun? Not once?


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Longtime Hubby said:


> A fantasy has never crossed your mind while having fun? Not once?


All of my fantasies involve the person I’m with. Never ever something so demeaning as that. But I am also the type who would never bring a third-party into the bedroom, not even in my head.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Not said:


> All of my fantasies involve the person I’m with. Never ever something so demeaning as that. But I am also the type who would never bring a third-party into the bedroom, not even in my head.


Fair enough. To each their own, as the saying goes. We enjoy some fantasy chat to spice things up. We look at that like a sex toy, adds to experience, our enjoyment. Of course, not everyone’s cup of tea.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Not said:


> Wow. I’m actually stunned by some of these responses. If I were to find out my SO was fantasizing about another woman while he was inside me, adios you effing pig. I’d drop his ass in two seconds flat.


Fair enough but I am guessing he has. Its a guy thing.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Fair enough but I am guessing he has. Its a guy thing.


No doubt all guys do it. If deny, it’s a lie


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> No doubt all guys do it. If deny, it’s a lie


Hell, I am pretty sure my wife does it. Thats why her eyes are closed when she is having an orgasm


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Hell, I am pretty sure my wife does it. Thats why her eyes are closed when she is having an orgasm


Exactly. I’ve asked. She never tells me or says she has none. Um, okay, lol. I’d love to hear her name someone we know.


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## weysally (Sep 7, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Hell, I am pretty sure my wife does it. Thats why her eyes are closed when she is having an orgasm


my husband says that my eyes close every time I have an orgasm, and I don't need to have fantasies , we do it for real


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

weysally said:


> my husband says that my eyes close every time I have an orgasm, and I don't need to have fantasies , we do it for real


Real is good. Fantasies help us at times


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## weysally (Sep 7, 2020)

there are a lot of couples that role play, maybe good, but isn't that just a step away from going for real,


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

It’s close


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

jonty30 said:


> Or when she was younger and more firm.


I guess your ascending member is still as firm as it was in your twenties, good for you you!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

To be really frank, all y'all thinking on and fantasizing of other women when you are giving it to your wifey. Your wifey aint no sperm dump.
I dare you to tell wifey what you fantasizing about and see if the fantasy lasts long, I bet you will be soon looking for another.
Doing somthing that hurts your wifey is not right and you think she don't know, yeah she knows, wifey's have super cool antennae to sniff out all y'alls ********.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

aine said:


> I guess your ascending member is still as firm as it was in your twenties, good for you you!


I'm only saying that men will often remember their young wives while being intimate.


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## weysally (Sep 7, 2020)

I totally disagree with this, I think a lot of young and old men think a lot about their wives,


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

jonty30 said:


> I'm only saying that men will often remember their young wives while being intimate.


the same way the wife is thinking of your once young firm torso (not the beer belly and wrinkly skin), the strong toned arms and the much firmer manhood. I know, I know, wives also have their own thoughts.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

aine said:


> the same way the wife is thinking of your once young firm torso (not the beer belly and wrinkly skin), the strong toned arms and the much firmer manhood. I know, I know, wives also have their own thoughts.


Exactly! My wife never says whom is on her mind, but has said she does fantasize at times. We ALL do.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Not said:


> Wow. I’m actually stunned by some of these responses. If I were to find out my SO was fantasizing about another woman while he was inside me, adios you effing pig. I’d drop his ass in two seconds flat.


Same with my wife.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Just whisper ideas, no problem. Everyone is different. To each their own


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Republicans sexually frustrated, actually want to date her
> 
> 
> It turns out there’s a reason Republicans are hostile to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: They want her to be their bae.
> ...


They are called nightmares. And yes she is delusional and frightening.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Fair enough but I am guessing he has. Its a guy thing.


Not every guy


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> Not every guy


Vast majority


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Vast majority


I’d like to see a poll on that versus you speaking for every guy out there.

But, I do get it, everyone is different. Where I see a total lack of empathy and caring on the males part, other women may not. But I see that as a lack of something vital, relationship wise, in her as well. It could even be deep insecurity. She’s too afraid to speak up because she doesn’t want to be seen as less than in some way in her man’s eyes. Which would be terribly sad.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Vast majority


My head has no room for any fantasy while looking down (or up) at my wife while we are together. Sometimes it’s almost like when were first together in the backseat of my car. Or when working overtime to make babies. Or on a vacation. No room in my mind for others.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Not said:


> I’d like to see a poll on that versus you speaking for every guy out there.
> 
> But, I do get it, everyone is different. Where I see a total lack of empathy and caring on the males part, other women may not. But I see that as a lack of something vital, relationship wise, in her as well. It could even be deep insecurity. She’s too afraid to speak up because she doesn’t want to be seen as less than in some way in her man’s eyes. Which would be terribly sad.


Not speaking for anyone. However, I do think people fantasize.there is no harm in it.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> My head has no room for any fantasy while looking down (or up) at my wife while we are together. Sometimes it’s almost like when were first together in the backseat of my car. Or when working overtime to make babies. Or on a vacation. No room in my mind for others.


That’s fine. I don’t judge anyone. Just saying some fantasize, my wife and i find it spices up our love life. To each their own.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Not speaking for anyone. However, I do think people fantasize.there is no harm in it.


My last BF of 18 months used to get upset with me when I couldn’t come up with much as far as fantasies go but I was totally happy with HIM. We were very experimental, as a matter of fact I won’t even post about some of the stuff we did lol! But those weren’t really fantasies, or things that I thought about all the time or even things that got my engine revving when I was away from him. But thinking about him always got me fired up.

I fantasize when I’m single but don’t need fantasies when I’m with someone because the real deal is what I really want, it’s why I fantasize when I’m single. It holds me over so to speak.

Maybe this will shed a little light, at least on one female mind.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> No doubt all guys do it. If deny, it’s a lie


Unless you know every guy you can't possibly know that.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Unless you know every guy you can't possibly know that.


What’s really important isn’t that they have private thoughts but that they enjoy making their partner feel less than by talking about it. You really have to wonder about someone who enjoys making their wife feel bad about herself.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Well, I also think it depends on your own sexual experience. If you have only had sex with one or two people in your whole life, than maybe you don't fantasize about others based on your limited experience.

But if you have had numerous partners, you may not be able to help it.

I'll be honest and say I do. For example, my wife never orgasms from intercourse yet when I was single, I dated a woman who would do so after less than 5 minutes of it. And she would go numerous times. So when I am having sex with my wife, I sometimes can't help but think of that other woman from my past and why my wife can't do that (yeah I know, thats a whole different thread)

Is it wrong...maybe? But I would agree with Longtime Hubby and say MANY (OK maybe not ALL) guys have had thoughts of their previous partners in mind during sex. You just can't help it.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> What’s really important isn’t that they have private thoughts but that they enjoy making their partner feel less than by talking about it. You really have to wonder about someone who enjoys making their wife feel bad about herself.


I agree but of course there is a difference between THINKING of another person and actually TELLING your spouse about it.

I know MANY women who have told their husbands they wished they made as much money as so and so or some other guy. Isn't that just as bad as they actually TOLD their husband that instead of just keeping it to themselves?


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I agree but of course there is a difference between THINKING of another person and actually TELLING your spouse about it.
> 
> I know MANY women who have told their husbands they wished they made as much money as so and so or some other guy. Isn't that just as bad as they actually TOLD their husband that instead of just keeping it to themselves?


No it’s not as bad, money is an inaminate object. Sex with your spouse is not the same thing at all. And this idea that all women want is $$$ us bs


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I agree but of course there is a difference between THINKING of another person and actually TELLING your spouse about it.
> 
> I know MANY women who have told their husbands they wished they made as much money as so and so or some other guy. Isn't that just as bad as they actually TOLD their husband that instead of just keeping it to themselves?


Yes. That is really mean. I do not understand what people think being mean is going to accomplish. Besides, if you want your husband to fantasize about other women during sex, telling him he’s inadequate compared to so-and-so is a foolproof way to do it.

Also, if your wife is only with you for money you should make some changes. Find a woman with a job and a life of her own that you don’t have to care for like a child.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> *If you have only had sex with one* or two people in your whole life, than maybe you don't fantasize about others based on your limited experience.


You have hit on something there. I am operating from a sample of one. So IF I had fantasies they would be about other times with my one and only. Which, as mentioned I do often think back about our other times together. So totally consistent. Guess am one of "ALL" guys after all lol.

You on the other hand had experience with another before your present wife who readily came easily and often as contrasted to your present wife who you have a problematic sexual relationship with ( believe you mentioned elsewhere was like having a second job ). So it isn't unusual that while working your second job you dream about the easy fun times you once had with your old gf.



FloridaGuy1 said:


> *Is it wrong*...maybe? But I would agree with Longtime Hubby and say MANY (OK maybe not ALL) guys have had thoughts of their previous partners in mind during sex. You just can't help it.


Why would it be wrong? People are all different. Heck while you are daydreaming about miss easy come, your wife may be dreaming about "The Rock". Neither of you mean any harm, you just have good imaginations. Neither of you can help it.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Unless you know every guy you can't possibly know that.


I’m Oz. All knowing and powerful. Lol.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I agree but of course there is a difference between THINKING of another person and actually TELLING your spouse about it.
> 
> I know MANY women who have told their husbands they wished they made as much money as so and so or some other guy. Isn't that just as bad as they actually TOLD their husband that instead of just keeping it to themselves?


Ding ding ding. Yeah, I really don’t get all the hubbub about this, or really the point of the thread in the first place for that matter.

I think most guys sometimes fantasize about a different situation / person when having sex with their spouse or LTR (women may too, don’t know). 
I see no harm, as long as you’re not stupid enough to announce it to your partner. That’s hurtful and stupid. 

Caveat- if you’re CONSTANTLY fantasizing about someone else, then you’re not being sexually present with your wife and you’re undermining your sexual intimacy with your wife. 
So… a little fantasizing while in the act is not a big deal, just don’t do it all the time and don’t tell her (or him, if you’re a wife who fantasizes) about it. This seems kind of common sense to me.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

To me something that’s no bigge is something you can disclose. If you pretend you’re having sex with a coworker, that’s not innocent in my
book. A celeb? Different. Someone you know and see daily is not right.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Not said:


> My last BF of 18 months used to get upset with me when I couldn’t come up with much as far as fantasies go but I was totally happy with HIM. We were very experimental, as a matter of fact I won’t even post about some of the stuff we did lol! But those weren’t really fantasies, or things that I thought about all the time or even things that got my engine revving when I was away from him. But thinking about him always got me fired up.
> 
> I fantasize when I’m single but don’t need fantasies when I’m with someone because the real deal is what I really want, it’s why I fantasize when I’m single. It holds me over so to speak.
> 
> Maybe this will shed a little light, at least on one female mind.


Thank you for female angle


----------



## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

snowbum said:


> To me something that’s no bigge is something you can disclose. If you pretend you’re having sex with a coworker, that’s not innocent in my
> book. A celeb? Different. Someone you know and see daily is not right.


How is it wrong if it makes your propeller spin? You’re not doing it for real.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

DudeInProgress said:


> Ding ding ding. Yeah, I really don’t get all the hubbub about this, or really the point of the thread in the first place for that matter.
> 
> I think most guys sometimes fantasize about a different situation / person when having sex with their spouse or LTR (women may too, don’t know).
> I see no harm, as long as you’re not stupid enough to announce it to your partner. That’s hurtful and stupid.
> ...


What if SO enjoys hearing it? Turns on both of us, exploring fantasies on foreplay. She’s told me she likes it.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> How is it wrong if it makes your propeller spin? You’re not doing it for real.


Because you’re hearts elsewhere, you’d do the person if you could. It’s not right to want to hang someone you know in person other than your so. You’d be ok with your partner wishing she was banging her hotter coworker? Really? That’s cool?


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Your so loves hearing you want to F another woman😶 ok


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

snowbum said:


> No it’s not as bad, money is an inaminate object. Sex with your spouse is not the same thing at all. And this idea that all women want is $$$ us bs


I respectfully disagree as a man who lost his first marriage based on the words of my ex "You just don't make enough money".


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I respectfully disagree as a man who lost his first marriage based on the words of my ex "You just don't make enough money".


you were dealing with someone with flawed character dh and I have been broke. $20 to our name and seen 6 figures. What I love is him. If we had to exist on much less, I’d be happy to do so with him.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> What if SO enjoys hearing it? Turns on both of us, exploring fantasies on foreplay. She’s told me she likes it.


Then I would suggest you’re the exception and that most folks don’t really want to hear about the other people their spouse is thinking about during sex. If it works for you, cool. 

I would also suggest that there’s a big difference between a mutual roleplay fantasy and “by the way, I was imagining the chick I met at the gym today while we were having sex just now…”


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

snowbum said:


> you were dealing with someone with flawed character dh and I have been broke. $20 to our name and seen 6 figures. What I love is him. If we had to exist on much less, I’d be happy to do so with him.


I don't disagree but to hear that after 20 years together it impacts you hence my previous statement that said hearing the money angle to me is EXACTLY the same as hearing someone fantasizing about another for sex.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't disagree but to hear that after 20 years together it impacts you hence my previous statement that said hearing the money angle to me is EXACTLY the same as hearing someone fantasizing about another for sex.


And as an FYI I’ve worked all but 2 years of our marriage you misread me. I didn’t blame or begrudge my husband. I love him rich or poor. Never expect gifts or hound him. My point was I never loved him more based on money, my point was he is my person and I want him. Wax it tough at times? Yes, never desired or coveted any one else which is what squeezing eyes and getting of to a mythical person is.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

snowbum said:


> And as an FYI I’ve worked all but 2 years of our marriage you misread me. I didn’t blame or begrudge my husband. I love him rich or poor. Never expect gifts or hound him. My point was I never loved him more based on money, my point was he is my person and I want him. Wax it tough at times? Yes, never desired or coveted any one else which is what squeezing eyes and getting of to a mythical person is.


fyi, we were broke more recently do yo health issues but got through it, I didn’t stick with him hoping for $


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DudeInProgress said:


> Then I would suggest you’re the exception and that most folks don’t really want to hear about the other people their spouse is thinking about during sex. If it works for you, cool.
> 
> I would also suggest that there’s a big difference between a mutual roleplay fantasy and “by the way, I was imagining the chick I met at the gym today while we were having sex just now…”


I don't know as there is a percentage of the male population that entertains wife sharing and things like that. Google it and it might surprise you. So I wouldn't say that Longtime Hubby is an exception maybe just not "mainstream"?


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

snowbum said:


> And as an FYI I’ve worked all but 2 years of our marriage you misread me. I didn’t blame or begrudge my husband. I love him rich or poor. Never expect gifts or hound him. My point was I never loved him more based on money, my point was he is my person and I want him. Wax it tough at times? Yes, never desired or coveted any one else which is what squeezing eyes and getting of to a mythical person is.


I meant my wife telling me I didn't make enough money after 20 years and bailing out on me.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't know as there is a percentage of the male population that entertains wife sharing and things like that. Google it and it might surprise you. So I wouldn't say that Longtime Hubby is an exception maybe just not "mainstream"?


I am well aware that there are plenty of wife-sharing cuckold types out there, but I still believe it’s a small minority of the population. 

That’s not to suggest that Longtime Hubby’s enjoyment of sharing fantasies is in any way similar to those dudes.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

snowbum said:


> Because you’re hearts elsewhere, you’d do the person if you could. It’s not right to want to hang someone you know in person other than your so. You’d be ok with your partner wishing she was banging her hotter coworker? Really? That’s cool?


It’s just fantasy. Neither one of us would do it in RL. Stop preaching,Rev


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

DudeInProgress said:


> Then I would suggest you’re the exception and that most folks don’t really want to hear about the other people their spouse is thinking about during sex. If it works for you, cool.
> 
> I would also suggest that there’s a big difference between a mutual roleplay fantasy and “by the way, I was imagining the chick I met at the gym today while we were having sex just now…”


Correct. Thanks


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Well, I also think it depends on your own sexual experience. If you have only had sex with one or two people in your whole life, than maybe you don't fantasize about others based on your limited experience.
> 
> But if you have had numerous partners, you may not be able to help it.
> 
> ...


You can help it but maybe you choose not to.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't disagree but to hear that after 20 years together it impacts you hence my previous statement that said hearing the money angle to me is EXACTLY the same as hearing someone fantasizing about another for sex.


For me it wouldn't be the same at all.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

snowbum said:


> Your so loves hearing you want to F another woman😶 ok


Yeah I’m with you. I’m not sure “man I wish you were someone else, she’s so much better than you, I have to pretend you’re her to get off” is as hot as these guys think it is.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Yeah I’m with you. I’m not sure “man I wish you were someone else, she’s so much better than you, I have to pretend you’re her to get off” is as hot as these guys think it is.


I never pretend that. We talk about hot scenes that include us with others. We enjoy it. I don’t judge people. Whatever floats your boat is cool with me. And vice versa


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> You can help it but maybe you choose not to.


OR....I chose not to let others dictate what I think about. Cause thats what they are, just thoughts.


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## weysally (Sep 7, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> You can help it but maybe you choose not to.


I only really have one fantasy, and that isn't quite right either, I often think about my BF when we were in school. we nearly had sex but where discovered, we never did but I often wonder what may have happened if we had,


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

weysally said:


> I only really have one fantasy, and that isn't quite right either, I often think about my BF when we were in school. we nearly had sex but where discovered, we never did but I often wonder what may have happened if we had,


May have changed your life.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Fair enough but I am guessing he has. Its a guy thing.


Not this guys thing. I agree with her. If my wife were fantasizing about another dude being me....next!


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> Not this guys thing. I agree with her. If my wife were fantasizing about another dude being me....next!


I’m sure mine fantasizes about other men. Hey if it helps get her to climax, no harm no foul


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> No doubt all guys do it. If deny, it’s a lie


BS! That is said by men making excuses for not controlling their thoughts. Wife and I are all in together. No eyes closed. Unless you count the multiple times her eyes roll back in her head while she is riding the roller coaster of orgasms. Yes ma'am you are welcome.😁


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> BS! That is said by men making excuses for not controlling their thoughts. Wife and I are all in together. No eyes closed. Unless you count the multiple times her eyes roll back in her head while she is riding the roller coaster of orgasms. Yes ma'am you are welcome.😁


Good for you. Most close their eyes when really into it. To each their own. Mine are rolling after your multi orgasm boasting.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Not speaking for anyone. However, I do think people fantasize.there is no harm in it.


When not with my wife, I do fantasize about my wife. 

Fantasizing about others is just a step closer to acting on it. Bible says if you lust after another in your heart you have committed adultry same as the physical act in eyes of God.

Reason you are to take all thoughts captive so they do not control you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Well, I also think it depends on your own sexual experience. If you have only had sex with one or two people in your whole life, than maybe you don't fantasize about others based on your limited experience.
> 
> But if you have had numerous partners, you may not be able to help it.
> 
> ...


Thinking about someone from past in that way, is different than closing you eyes and fantasizing that your wife is actually the ex you are screwing.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Good for you. Most close their eyes when really into it. To each their own. Mine are rolling after your multi orgasm boasting.


This is a thing for me too, my eyes are always open.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is a thing for me too, my eyes are always open.


Hmm, I guess mine are open 75 or 80% during.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> When not with my wife, I do fantasize about my wife.
> 
> Fantasizing about others is just a step closer to acting on it. Bible says if you lust after another in your heart you have committed adultry same as the physical act in eyes of God.
> 
> Reason you are to take all thoughts captive so they do not control you.


Then the Hades City Council better approve plans for a huge new subdivision using that logic. It’s not in my heart. In my mind. I’d never cheat on her. Sheesh


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't disagree but to hear that after 20 years together it impacts you hence my previous statement that said hearing the money angle to me is EXACTLY the same as hearing someone fantasizing about another for sex.


They both make it clear that the spouse/SO is not enough, whatever that capacity is.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Then the Hades City Council better approve plans for a huge new subdivision using that logic. It’s not in my heart. In my mind. I’d never cheat on her. Sheesh


Hell expands daily!


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Then the Hades City Council better approve plans for a huge new subdivision using that logic. It’s not in my heart. In my mind. I’d never cheat on her. Sheesh


If one is fantasizing about sex with ex, co-worker, chick next door, hottie at the gym or whatever it is in the heart, otherwise one would not want to fantasize about others.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> If one is fantasizing about sex with ex, co-worker, chick next door, hottie at the gym or whatever it is in the heart, otherwise one would not want to fantasize about others.


We agree to disagree. It’s in your mind. The heart is busy enough keeping the engine running. You’ve never had a fantasy? Only person ever!


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Good for you. Most close their eyes when really into it. To each their own. Mine are rolling after your multi orgasm boasting.


W
My wife is quickly multi with PIV. Bonus for us. She likes to see the muscles in my arms/chest while having sex, it makes her even more turned on.


----------



## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> W
> My wife is quickly multi with PIV. Bonus for us. She likes to see the muscles in my arms/chest while having sex, it makes her even more turned on.


We’re happy for ya!


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> We agree to disagree. It’s in your mind. The heart is busy enough keeping the engine running. You’ve never had a fantasy? Only person ever!


Only with my wife since meeting her. When a teen, sure! Several girls. I thought Lita Ford was 🔥. Several PB centerfolds. Then met my wife and she looked like one of the PB Girls of the Big 12. Ohio State girl. Would have believed it but wife was a Texas filly and did not go to college. But she had a twin in Ohio back then. 

Since then, my fantasies are all my wife and me. She also wants to do whatever I want to please me...why would I need to think of any one else?😋 She knows what I want before I even ask. Only twins are more connected mentally.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> Only with my wife since meeting her. When a teen, sure! Several girls. I thought Lita Ford was 🔥. Several PB centerfolds. Then met my wife and she looked like one of the PB Girls of the Big 12. Ohio State girl. Would have believed it but wife was a Texas filly and did not go to college. But she had a twin in Ohio back then.
> 
> Since then, my fantasies are all my wife and me. She also wants to do whatever I want to please me...why would I need to think of any one else?😋 She knows what I want before I even ask. Only twins are more connected mentally.


Whatever works!


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Not this guys thing. I agree with her. If my wife were fantasizing about another dude being me....next!


We're all different but at the end of the day you really don't know what your spouse is thinking.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> BS! That is said by men making excuses for not controlling their thoughts. Wife and I are all in together. No eyes closed. Unless you count the multiple times her eyes roll back in her head while she is riding the roller coaster of orgasms. Yes ma'am you are welcome.😁


Controlling your thoughts sound very Orwellian to me.

Have you never thought of punching someone in the face who really pissed you off? Is that not the same thing? You THINK about it but would never do it.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Thinking about someone from past in that way, is different than closing you eyes and fantasizing that your wife is actually the ex you are screwing.


I don't disagree but now we are dissecting about WHAT thoughts come into your mind during sex...and does it matter if my eyes are open or closed?


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Only with my wife since meeting her. When a teen, sure! Several girls. I thought Lita Ford was 🔥. Several PB centerfolds. Then met my wife and she looked like one of the PB Girls of the Big 12. Ohio State girl. Would have believed it but wife was a Texas filly and did not go to college. But she had a twin in Ohio back then.
> 
> Since then, my fantasies are all my wife and me. She also wants to do whatever I want to please me...why would I need to think of any one else?😋 She knows what I want before I even ask. Only twins are more connected mentally.


Of course...and if my wife wanted sex more often, I wouldn't masturbate.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> When not with my wife, I do fantasize about my wife.
> 
> Fantasizing about others is just a step closer to acting on it. Bible says if you lust after another in your heart you have committed adultry same as the physical act in eyes of God.
> 
> Reason you are to take all thoughts captive so they do not control you.


But once again as some others mention here occasionally, is that not implementing a religious belief into the act? As a lifelong Catholic I am not disagreeing but what if a person is an atheist? Are they able to think about someone else? Not being a smart ass just asking the rhetorical question.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't disagree but now we are dissecting about WHAT thoughts come into your mind during sex...and does it matter if my eyes are open or closed?


I think you admitted that when you are in the act of sex with your wife, you fantasize about other women who were more exciting to be with than she is.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Only with my wife since meeting her. When a teen, sure! Several girls. I thought Lita Ford was 🔥. Several PB centerfolds. Then met my wife and she looked like one of the PB Girls of the Big 12. Ohio State girl. Would have believed it but wife was a Texas filly and did not go to college. But she had a twin in Ohio back then.
> 
> Since then, my fantasies are all my wife and me. She also wants to do whatever I want to please me...why would I need to think of any one else?😋 She knows what I want before I even ask. Only twins are more connected mentally.


I thought the very same thing about my ex many years ago. They out of the blue she up and bolted after 20 years.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> I think you admitted that when you are in the act of sex with your wife, you fantasize about other women who were more exciting to be with than she is.


Oh I may have and I make no reservations about it. And honestly I believe she does too as her eyes are closed 95% of the time we are having sex...if the eyes open or closed is an accurate gauge to measure by.

I am just not one to believe what one is thinking plays a role in how one acts.

I want to punch my boss in the face on a daily basis and yet after 11 years never have.


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Wishing you were with another person you know is pretty sad. Disrespectful but that’s me.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

snowbum said:


> Wishing you were with another person you know is pretty sad. Disrespectful but that’s me.


And we are all different and thats what makes the world so great.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Oh I may have and I make no reservations about it. And honestly I believe she does too as her eyes are closed 95% of the time we are having sex...if the eyes open or closed is an accurate gauge to measure by.
> 
> I am just not one to believe what one is thinking plays a role in how one acts.
> 
> I want to punch my boss in the face on a daily basis and yet after 11 years never have.


Well, let me ask you this...did you fantasize about other women when you were with that orgasmic girlfriend? Also, WHY didn't you marry that woman if she was so sexually pleasing to you?

And do you close YOUR eyes when you are thinking about other women during sex with your wife?



FloridaGuy1 said:


> I am just not one to believe what one is thinking plays a role in how one acts.
> 
> I want to punch my boss in the face on a daily basis and yet after 11 years never have.


You believe that someone shouldn't be threatened by a memory of someone better sexually...or feel bad that they are a disappointment to the person they are sharing their body with? Really?? 

Hmm...the Retroactive Jealousy guys would beg to differ with you...


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't disagree but now we are dissecting about WHAT thoughts come into your mind during sex...and does it matter if my eyes are open or closed?


You mean thinking about "well she was different in such and such way"? Oh heck no. I am concentrated on the task at hand. A thought like that crossing my mind would be long after the act, like thinking about our activities and then thinking wonder why ex liked something this way or that as opposed to spouse. But not in the middle of sex.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> But once again as some others mention here occasionally, is that not implementing a religious belief into the act? As a lifelong Catholic I am not disagreeing but what if a person is an atheist? Are they able to think about someone else? Not being a smart ass just asking the rhetorical question.


As a human, we are all able to think of another, but as a Christian I am instructed to take those thoughts captive so they do not control me and cause me to sin. Also as a Christian I believe the atheist has much bigger issues to deal with than fantasizing about someone else.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> Well, let me ask you this...did you fantasize about other women when you were with that orgasmic girlfriend? Also, WHY didn't you marry that woman if she was so sexually pleasing to you?


Well probably not as she was really into sex. But it was also around 12 years ago and I never really thought about "thinking of others" until this thread. And while I was single, she was still married to someone else.



LisaDiane said:


> And do you close YOUR eyes when you are thinking about other women during sex with your wife?


I don't close my eyes at all when having sex as I like to see whats going on AND thats how I know she always closes hers. 



LisaDiane said:


> You believe that someone shouldn't be threatened by a memory of someone better sexually...or feel bad that they are a disappointment to the person they are sharing their body with? Really??
> 
> Hmm...the Retroactive Jealousy guys would beg to differ with you...


I don't believe anyone should be threatened by what someone else thinks.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> As a human, we are all able to think of another, but as a Christian I am instructed to take those thoughts captive so they do not control me and cause me to sin. Also as a Christian I believe the atheist has much bigger issues to deal with than fantasizing about someone else.


Exactly but as an atheist, they are not worried about that as if the don't believe, how can they fear it?

My point is, how much do what we think really matter to others and if we don't act upon those thoughts, why do others get to have a say in what we are thinking?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

snowbum said:


> Wishing you were with another person you know is pretty sad. Disrespectful but that’s me.


I would feel it disrespects your partner if wishing for anyone, not just someone you know.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> I would feel it disrespects your partner if wishing for anyone, not just someone you know.


It's not wishing. It's fantasy. big difference. Sometimes people need an extra boost to get where they want to finish. And if that means they fantasize, what's the big deal? I mean, really? If it spices up things, why not? it's not dissing anyone. Trust me, the person you are with, when eyes are closed, they won't tell you this, but there's a good chance they are thinking of a movie star, a singer, a person at work or down the block. And it's just thoughts. I really hate when people get so judgmental here.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

My wife and I really don't close our eyes, we like to look at each other. I hear where you are coming from, I just think it is sad that someone would need that, whether it is wishing or fantasizing about someone other than spouse. 

It would be "no big deal" to you if your wife said she had to get off with you by fantasizing about riding Bob that lives across the street?
It would tell me that my marriage has run it's course as I am no longer enough for her, and I refuse to be a surrogate penis while she is screwing other dude mentally.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> My wife and I really don't close our eyes, we like to look at each other. I hear where you are coming from, I just think it is sad that someone would need that, whether it is wishing or fantasizing about someone other than spouse.
> 
> It would be "no big deal" to you if your wife said she had to get off with you by fantasizing about riding Bob that lives across the street?
> It would tell me that my marriage has run it's course as I am no longer enough for her, and I refuse to be a surrogate penis while she is screwing other dude mentally.


It would NOT be a big deal if she told me she thought about “riding Bob (who) lives across the street.” Honestly. Why? Once again - sigh- it’s a fantasy that helps her get off. I would not be offended or feel threatened because we have a strong marriage. 

We both get off to a fantasy about us with a couple we know from church. It’s extremely sexy. Very detailed. Swapping. BI fun too. 99 % sure it won’t happen in RL. Talk of it does not have me or her calling an attorney. I’m secure as a man to know she is with me physically. Mentally with another? No biggie

My eyes are open unless closed if I need to hit a fantasy to cum. Her eyes usually closed. She never reveals what or whom is on her mind. That’s cool. Happy to help her climax.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't close my eyes at all when having sex as I like to see whats going on AND thats how I know she always closes hers.


If you fantasize about other women while your eyes are OPEN, then why do you think her eyes being closed is how she fantasizes?

Closing our eyes at a point of intense pleasure doesn't mean that we are spinning a story in our minds. It's often a reaction to things feeling so good, like moaning or arching our bodies. It's a sign that our bodies are taking over, and we aren't concentrating on anything in our minds.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> If you fantasize about other women while your eyes are OPEN, then why do you think her eyes being closed is how she fantasizes?
> 
> Closing our eyes at a point of intense pleasure doesn't mean that we are spinning a story in our minds. It's often a reaction to things feeling so good, like moaning or arching our bodies. It's a sign that our bodies are taking over, and we aren't concentrating on anything in our minds.


Mmmmm


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> If you fantasize about other women while your eyes are OPEN, then why do you think her eyes being closed is how she fantasizes?
> 
> Closing our eyes at a point of intense pleasure doesn't mean that we are spinning a story in our minds. It's often a reaction to things feeling so good, like moaning or arching our bodies. It's a sign that our bodies are taking over, and we aren't concentrating on anything in our minds.


So now would it be wrong if I fantasized about *THIS *the next time I am having sex...and does it matter if my eyes are open or closed?


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Mmmmm





FloridaGuy1 said:


> So now would it be wrong if I fantasized about *THIS *the next time I am having sex...and does it matter if my eyes are open or closed?


Oh UGH!!!! I give up!!! Lol!!


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Oh UGH!!!! I give up!!! Lol!!


Okay, Florida Guy, looks like you and I have to meet up with LisaDiane! Trifecta


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Okay, Florida Guy, looks like you and I have to meet up with LisaDiane! Trifecta


Well, now I know I must have won the argument!!!


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Well, now I know I must have won the argument!!!


You win both of us


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> It would NOT be a big deal if she told me she thought about “riding Bob (who) lives across the street.” Honestly. Why? Once again - sigh- it’s a fantasy that helps her get off. I would not be offended or feel threatened because we have a strong marriage.
> 
> We both get off to a fantasy about us with a couple we know from church. It’s extremely sexy. Very detailed. Swapping. BI fun too. 99 % sure it won’t happen in RL. Talk of it does not have me or her calling an attorney. I’m secure as a man to know she is with me physically. Mentally with another? No biggie
> 
> My eyes are open unless closed if I need to hit a fantasy to cum. Her eyes usually closed. She never reveals what or whom is on her mind. That’s cool. Happy to help her climax.


A couple from church? You attend church? I will be praying for you.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> A couple from church? You attend church? I will be praying for you.


Does it matter in your view? Church. Grocery store. Gym. It’s all evil to think of others, right?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Does it matter in your view? Church. Grocery store. Gym. It’s all evil to think of others, right?


Not at all, it is equally sinful to fantasize about committing adultry with someone else's spouse no matter where you do it.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> Not at all, it is equally sinful to fantasize about committing adultry with someone else's spouse no matter where you do it.


It’s called being human. Nobody is perfect


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## weysally (Sep 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> A couple from church? You attend church? I will be praying for you.


don't pray for them, just get their phone number and give them a call


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

weysally said:


> don't pray for them, just get their phone number and give them a call


I like that.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> It’s called being human. Nobody is perfect


Difference between being perfect and openly being good with something one is doing.

You said earlier nothing is wrong with doing this, now it is a mistake and we all make mistakes, no one is perfect? 

If nothing is wrong with it then tell the couple at church you and wife fantasize about sex with them, I'm sure they would like to know. After all as said earlier, everybody does it. 

Don't think it is issue, ask your pastor about it and see what he says.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> Difference between being perfect and openly being good with something one is doing.
> 
> You said earlier nothing is wrong with doing this, now it is a mistake and we all make mistakes, no one is perfect?
> 
> ...


Who made you Pope? When did i say “mistake”? Did not


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

We have invited them to dinner. Who knows? Maybe they feel the same? May be very interesting


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> .


John 8:7


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Who made you Pope? When did i say “mistake”? Did not


You said nobody is perfect...the implication would be we all make mistakes. I was in error to think you were implying that.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> You said nobody is perfect...the implication would be we all make mistakes. I was in error to think you were implying that.


Thank you


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Who made you Pope? When did i say “mistake”? Did not





Rus47 said:


> Indeed. We first need to remove beam from our own eye.


Exactly but if one does not see something as sin, why quote a verse that implies it is sin and another should not call me on it and look at their own sin first.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Verses that would apply to this topic would be

Romans 14:12-14
James 5:19-20


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## eyeamnicegirl (Dec 31, 2019)

OK.. I sometimes have fantasies that go something like "I wonder what it would be like to *___*" with the blank being filled in by an particular activity with a generic person, a generic activity with a specific person, or a specific activity with a specific person. However, when I am actually engaged in a sexual activity with a specific person (husband these days, guys I was dating in years gone by), I never once fanaticized about someone else. Fantasies for me always happen during idle times (you know, that old saying about idle hands is the devil's workshop?).


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Zombie cat?


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

346745 said:


> My wife finally admits she has fantasies but won’t share them with me. Kinda fun to wonder about.


my wife must be related to your wife. She finally admitted she does have fantasies in bed, but she will not share them. Yes, I do wonder what or who is on her mind. She ain't saying. But does offer an idea or two when I want to have hot pillow talk. It is inspiring for both of us. She likes scenes set in places we have been like on vacation, etc.


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