# Not sure what to do.. advice needed.



## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

I will do my best to explain this but I am sure to leave out some important info but here goes.

1.Married young and been together 20+ years
2.Have 2 children one younger and one adult living with us

She had an EA (short term as far as I know around 2 month)about a year and a half ago but she doesn't think it was anything other than talking. Denied, lied, and tried everything to cover it up. I had to dig and dig to uncover the phone calls (hours), emails, texts(100's even while at work) FB chat, etc. Never got physical as far as I know.
I totally made this worse by acting like a complete a--. Called her every name in the book, verbally abusive but not physically. 

3 months later I made the mistake of a casual encounter (no intercourse) but still enough (hand job)that it made me feel guilty so I told her. Of course she went ballistic..
I think maybe I did it to get even or to cause her the pain that she had caused me. I know it's not right but that is what I think.

Fast forward to now.... we are having issues communicating, fighting about adult child in house, financial issues, etc.

She just wants to sleep all day, does not want to go anywhere with me or the kids, sex is there but if she does not want it then it is a "no". She has never been aggressive in the bedroom. She never touches me or initiates sex, never kisses with an open mouth and just really wants to get a quickie most of the time. I am out of town alot and when I get home she avoids sex the first night I am home or we are together. ??
There is never dinner ready, she has not cooked in over a month. She does most of the laundry though and keeps a tidy house.

We did attend 2 counseling sessions about a year ago. 
This long labor day weekend, I have been home since Thursday. 
She has barely talked to me and balled up in this shell, been really *****y and just tried to avoid me.
Honestly not sure how much longer this can go on! Need advice.. HELP.


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

Ask your wife to get screened for depression. Something is going on and it needs to come out. If you can't communicate together about it, then counseling is in order. Take your time and interview several counselors to find the best fit.


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