# Young,married,ready to break down



## georgia_girl (Feb 24, 2012)

Hey ya'll. So, I've been struggling the past two years and I need other peoples opinion besides my families. This is going to be a long story but please help me out. 
I got pregnant right after I turned 18(i'm 20 now) I got pregnant with my son almost a month after I met his dad. Three months after that he took me to walmart, told me to pick out a ring and then just handed it to me(such a romantic, chyeah right) well, that evening, he got drunk and called his ex gf of 3 years crying about proposing to me(if you can call it that) and told her that he just wanted them both to be happy.Wtf right? Well she told him she still loved him and everything and I found her number in his cell under a different name a few months ago. He has always cussed me out, yelled at me, etc when he gets mad or doesn't get his way(he's 23) I remember right before I had my son, my husbands mom told him that I needed to suck it up then she went into the waiting room to talk crap about me. The next morning, my mom, me, my son and his mom were in my hospital room. His mom was holding my son and my mom went to wash her hands so she could hold him. His mom went outside to "smoke" and about an hour later(she still hadn't returned) my husband called me on the hospital room phone cussing and yelling at me telling me that we better let his mom hold his son, blah blah blah.. because she had apparantly went outside, called him and asked him if she could hold my son when he got back because we wouldn't let her. Oh, and I also had a spinal headache(from where I lost too much spinal fluid from my epidurals) I would always go to my moms house and i'd have bruises on my arms from where he jerked me up by my arms when I said something to make him mad. The most recent thing he's done is taking my car title. It was supposed to come in the mail back in November and never did. I asked him about it and he swore to me that it hadn't came. Well, I went to his parents house one day and saw a junk letter with my name on it in their mail stack so I got it and flipped through the rest of their mail basket to see if there was anything in my name in there. I found a copy of my original title in there. I called the court house and told them and they said he must have my title somewhere. I have no idea why him and his mom would want my car title. I played dumb and asked him if he thought someone would go through our mailbox and that the tag office was putting a flag up on their computer about my title and some more things to freak him out. Then, he says well something came in the mail for you yesterday from the DMV. I'll check it when I get home.(I was visiting my parents a few hrs away at the time) It was my title. It just "magically" appeared. We live three hours away from my whole family. I just want to go home and be with the people that I know love me and my son unconditionally and would never lie to us. Opinions please!!


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## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

I would do just that, go home and be with your family that loves and supports you. This guy is not only physically abusive, which in itself is enough for you to get the heck out of there, I wouldn't wait for it to escalate into something bigger and more permanent, but mentally and emotionally as well...

You need to be where you and your son are safe and you can focus your time and attention on him....There are just a gazillion red flags and I'm sure we don't even know half of it....


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## georgia_girl (Feb 24, 2012)

Thank you so much for your reply. You're right, what I wrote in the thread is only touching the surface of everything. Also, he took all of our income tax money & bought himself some new"big boy" tires for his truck($800) and other "man toys" and gave me $38 to buy myself some new jeans. He called defax(childrens services) on me and my family earlier in the year when I left him. He told them I was on drugs(I've never even smoked mj muchless anything else) and told me that my parents would never be happy because they are poor. It's true that they aren't rich but that never mattered to me. He also told me that since I had our son, nobody would ever want me. That I was disgusting(stretch marks) right after I had our son, I was so depressed. I stopped eating and lost so much weight. He told me I was nasty then too. He called me"butterfly hips" He is nice some of the time but I can't do anything or he gets mad. Sorry i'm ranting so much but i've never been able to just speak out about all of this without a filter.


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## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

Yeah idk nobody deserves to be treated that way by anyone...just sounds like he has a lot of anger issues maybe??? Has he ever tried counseling or is that something that is a def no for him? I know a lot of people, men in particular, aren't as open to counseling...they think it's admitting that there is something wrong with them when in reality sometimes we all just may need some help...

Don't worry about your stretch marks, kinda happens when your stomach gets ginormous from having another human being in there haha Someone in this world will love you just the way you are...If you are happy with you, that's all that matters


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## georgia_girl (Feb 24, 2012)

I'm not sure counseling would help him. he's so set in his ways. I did try to get him to go with me once(i've never been either) but he said we didn't need it because there is "nothing" wrong with our relationship. Seriously?! geeze. Everything is wrong with it. When I imagine myself spending the rest of my life with him the way he is now, makes me want to run as far away as I can. ha ha. I feel pretty as long as he's not around but if he is, I feel bad about myself. When I fix myself up really nice for him, he always asks "who did you dress up for like that?" and "why did you put on so much perfume? shew" i'm at home visiting my family now and I don't want to go back! ughh


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree that you should move back with your parents. Your husband is abusive. No one should live in the situation you are living in.

Are you a SAHM? 

Do the two of you have a joint checking/savings account?

Since he's been calling child protective services you might want to get some help from a abused woman's center. They can provide you with counseling and perhaps even help you find an attorney for a divorce.

One thing they might be able to help you with is to establish that he is indeed abusing you and how to handle it legally.

If you stay longer and he does anything to hurt you, throw things, etc, call the police and ask for a restraining order to remove him from the home. This will do more to establish his physical abuse.

You need an exit plan if you don't think you can just get in your car and drive to you mom's.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

georgia_girl said:


> I'm not sure counseling would help him. he's so set in his ways. I did try to get him to go with me once(i've never been either) but he said we didn't need it because there is "nothing" wrong with our relationship. Seriously?! geeze. Everything is wrong with it. When I imagine myself spending the rest of my life with him the way he is now, makes me want to run as far away as I can. ha ha. I feel pretty as long as he's not around but if he is, I feel bad about myself. When I fix myself up really nice for him, he always asks "who did you dress up for like that?" and "why did you put on so much perfume? shew" i'm at home visiting my family now and I don't want to go back! ughh


How long were you going to visit your parents? Is your child with you? Why not go see an attorney tomorrow about filing divorce and get it started? So to an abused woman's center as well and ask for help.

And get a retraining order against your husband. 

Has he ever hurt your child?

Now might just be the right time to do this.


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## georgia_girl (Feb 24, 2012)

What is an SAHM? No, we don't have a joint checking. I do have my son with me and we are supposed to be going back Saturday. He's never hurt my son. He won't change a dirty diaper or help me out with anything. My son and I were playing in the floor the other night and he was laughing so hard because we were having fun and my husband starts yelling at us and told our son to be quiet or he was going to bed because he couldn't hear the tv. (Our son is only 14 months old) I'm also not sure which state we would have to file in. I usually come home every other week and my license and everything is still in GA and we used to live here until he got mad at my mom and moved us there.


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