# I saw the OW!!!!



## loveless25 (Jan 5, 2011)

i dont know what to think. I found her by accident on fb i was looking thru my sisters friends and one of her friends is from the area my bf was cheating and there she was all i had was a first name. The total opposite of me. somethings we have in commom. its so sick and i said "oh look i found your girlfriend" and he got that look on his face and asked why i was "bothering" her. I said "is that really her?" and he said "yes". I was so shocked. My self esteem just went down... I think that or I thought I was ok looking. Ive had 3 kids and she doesnt have any. He said she was bad at everything and that he was drunk. Idk what to do or how to feel. I feel self concious about myself now. I dont want him to touch me or look at me. He told me to leave her alone. He said not to dig up old stuff. that woman put me through hell with him! she endangered my health and my son. I think I deserve to know why. I want tro contact her and ask her why she did this to me. she knew I was pregnant and she still kept contacting him. they both hurt me and I still dont have any answers from them. should i contact her or leave her alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

Leave it alone...no good will come of this.trust me! if she cared about hurting you or endangering you...she wouldn't be the OW.So nothing will come of confronting her with your pain and anger.
she may derive some sick satisfaction knowing that she had the power to hurt you like this with your bf...so don't give her that power.
your bf should be providing you with the answers you need if he is able to do so...don't go looking for answers from the OW. You'll end up more frustrated and hurt.


----------



## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

She kept contacting him because he kept responding to her. You'd be best to get answers from him and then drop it.


----------



## loveless25 (Jan 5, 2011)

Thanks for the replies...Im sure she would like to hurt me some more if I contacted her. I asked him questions but he wont tell me. He just says he blacked it out and doesnt remember. which I dont believe. I feel like hes always trying to protect her like he still cares about her. It makes me sick and I resent him more than ever.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

Maybe he's trying to protect YOU bc he cares about YOU? 

Not giving you the information doesn't automatically mean he is protecting her or cares for her.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Don't message her.
Dump him and move on with your life.


----------



## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Dump him and move on with your life.


well...there's that too

when deciding on whether or not to dump him...think about the Dane Cook skit...

"Girls will think of any excuse to stay in a relationship. she could be talking to her girlfriends and they'll say, "Dump him Karen he's a d**chebag.just dump him." to which she'll reply, "I can't sally it's not the simple. My CD's are in his truck. It's gonna take at least 3-5years more of abuse before I can break up with him and get my CD's"

Or "It has been a month and I know I don't even like this person. But I'm gonna stay for another 5 years or so and end this thing violently"


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

when I looked up my exh's ow, he was the same way. I had emailed her and asked her to leave my H alone. She, of course, called him right away to say that I had mailed her and he wanted to know why I was bothering her. Uhhh, excuse me?? Me? Bothering her??? She's interfering in my marriage!!!! She's bothering me! There is another thread on here some where I would recommend you reading about our spouses and how they affair down, meaning that the OW is typically less than what we are. Like in my situation, I have a bachelor's degree, a job that I really like, I maintain my own home and I am honest and devoted to the one I am with, the ow my ex left me for is a suicidal pill popping drunk who lives at home with ma n pa. (she uses suicide attempts for attention) she is currently playing my ex and another guy against each other like it''s some game. She's sleeping with both of them and then tells the other what she did to make the other jealous and then they fight even harder for her affection. I dont get what the prize of her is all about.


----------



## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> when I looked up my exh's ow, he was the same way. I had emailed her and asked her to leave my H alone. She, of course, called him right away to say that I had mailed her and he wanted to know why I was bothering her. Uhhh, excuse me?? Me? Bothering her??? She's interfering in my marriage!!!! She's bothering me!


 YES YES I did the same thing via text and she IMMEDIATELY went crying to my husband that I was threatening her! My DH said the same thing yours did!!


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Craggy456 said:


> YES YES I did the same thing via text and she IMMEDIATELY went crying to my husband that I was threatening her! My DH said the same thing yours did!!


I do believe there is a thread on here somewhere, but I dont know what it's titled, where it talks about "the script" of the DS and the OP. They will follow basically the same script as every other DS and OP out there. You will probably notice many similarities in your own situation compared to others on here.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I'd probably have some choice things to say to the 'ho what stole my man from me when I was carrying his child. I wouldn't care what her reaction would be but I'd definitely let her have it. I mean as soon as he started coming in, on, over, around or near someone else he kind of gives up the 'right' to so much as imagine he can tell you what to do. 

Do whatever you like. Contact the cumdumpster or not. Your call. But don't worry about his or her annoyance.


----------



## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

Yes-I texted poss OW and now I'm known as the "crazy wife" at my H's job. I will be honest. Part of me felt better that I had called her a** out on her game and that I knew that she was flirting with my h so he would do her work for her. She also hasn't texted him since. Part of me felt worse though-she refused to even act like she knew what I was talking about (after citing pix, files I knew about b/t the 2)which made me angrier.

I am terrified about running into her in person. I don't want to go to jail but I am scared of what I will do. My h and I are working on everything so I don't want to do anything to mess it up but she has done so much to hurt me and my h. And the worse is when my H says "she didn't do anything wrong." Really? Talking all day long about how you are a Christian and believe in morals..blah blah then purposely try to break up several marriages in your office. Nothing wrong with that-I guess...


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

LOL---what did you say to her 1980?


----------



## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> LOL---what did you say to her 1980?


LOL Here's the play by play:

Me: I don't appreciate the behavior b/t you and my H

Her : Who is this?

Me: I'm blah blahs wife

Her: I work with him at blah (no ****!!) and I don't date people I worl with

Me: Why does he have pix of you on his phone, tons of texts, files..

Her: I am sorry you feel that way

Me: I don't find that behavior very Christian..

Then I get several threats to my life from men from numbers I didn't recognize. They were dumb enough to leave them on my voicemail. One was apparently her LTR BF...I archived them in case there is anymore contact from her-I am calling the police.


----------



## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I do believe there is a thread on here somewhere, but I dont know what it's titled, where it talks about "the script" of the DS and the OP. They will follow basically the same script as every other DS and OP out there. You will probably notice many similarities in your own situation compared to others on here.


What is it with that huh. It's the same here. I have 1 kids with my husband she has 4. And believe me she looks as if she has has more. I keep fit, barley drink while she not only appears to drink like a fish she also pops pills and does drugs. Which ever the on is u shove up ur damn nose. Lives at home with parents who think she is the framin world smh and will sleep with just about anyone. She is ugly as heck. Really she looks like a over weight sad snoopy. It really bothered me for a while. And while it no longer messes with my self-esteem I still look at this chick and wonder WTF was he thinking. I have even asked him and of course it's: I don't know cause I'd so beautiful and blah blah freaking blah. So I just put mode in to myself for me!! Which drives him crazy cause men notice more. Put her out of I'd head easier said than done. They Wk together so I still have to see what he was so sprung over but if you can, TRY to get pass that part. It will consume you. I have enough about his affair consuming me. The fact that he choose to have an affair with a mudd **** is on him not me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

Sorry typing from phone
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

*Her: I am sorry you feel that way*

Eh? You told her a fact, not a feeling or an opinion.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Mrs1980 said:


> Me: Why does he have pix of you on his phone, tons of texts, files..
> 
> Her: I am sorry you feel that way


What a hag. Seriously.


----------



## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> What a hag. Seriously.


My fav part is that she doesn't date people she works with...How about (esp since she is so Christian and moralistic) stating that she doesn't date or even flirt with for that matter-married men?

All the men in my h's office talk about how dumb she is...but that doesn't stop them from flirting, doing her work and even f'ing her...


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah the OW in my case was very 'Christian" and loved God so much and had all these scriptures all over her internet pages. Even had/has a long-time boyf. She had something on a webpage saying"I am a good friend and very loyal. I always want to help people and not hurt them."


----------



## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Yeah the OW in my case was very 'Christian" and loved God so much and had all these scriptures all over her internet pages. Even had/has a long-time boyf. She had something on a webpage saying"I am a good friend and very loyal. I always want to help people and not hurt them."


Jelly-I swear we have to have the same OW! What general area of the country do you live in (North, Midwest, ect). It's too similiar!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Well she doesn't work with H and I've never spoken with her but I did message her on two diff sites & she never checked either message. When I got divorced (2 months ago) I deleted the messages to her because I figure, if he wants to be with her and wait for her to dump her boyf then great. Also, nothing changes the fact that he slept with her. It's done. I do want to tell her though that I hope she marries one day and her husband does exactly what mine did.

My exH is a very jealous man so I know even if they do end up together, he will never ever let it go that she cheatd on her boyf with him AND the fact she had no prob sleeping with a married man a few times. He is the king of double standards and will always hold that over her head.

I still hurt though when I think about it. I wish I never knew about it to be honest with you. I would have been so happy divorcing and never knowing.

It's my sincerest wish that the same exact thing happens to her one day. I never had a jealous bone in my body until I found out the truth. 

In my story, we both cheated and when I remember what he did it makes me happy in a way he has to deal with triggers too. Idk if I'd call it a "revenge" since I detest I went that route and would never again but in a way, it gives me a teensy bit of satisfaction knowing he has to deal with the same thing now that I do.


----------



## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> *Her: I am sorry you feel that way*
> 
> Eh? You told her a fact, not a feeling or an opinion.


Sounds like she might work in customer service. I spent about 7 years dealing only with escalated customers, and that was a phrase that was drilled into our heads. It allows for an "apology" without accepting ownership of nor responsibility for the problem itself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

sexuallyfustrated said:


> What is it with that huh. It's the same here. I have 1 kids with my husband she has 4. And believe me she looks as if she has has more. I keep fit, barley drink while she not only appears to drink like a fish she also pops pills and does drugs. Which ever the on is u shove up ur damn nose. Lives at home with parents who think she is the framin world smh and will sleep with just about anyone. She is ugly as heck. Really she looks like a over weight sad snoopy. It really bothered me for a while. And while it no longer messes with my self-esteem I still look at this chick and wonder WTF was he thinking. I have even asked him and of course it's: I don't know cause I'd so beautiful and blah blah freaking blah. So I just put mode in to myself for me!! Which drives him crazy cause men notice more. Put her out of I'd head easier said than done. They Wk together so I still have to see what he was so sprung over but if you can, TRY to get pass that part. It will consume you. I have enough about his affair consuming me. The fact that he choose to have an affair with a mudd **** is on him not me
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes, it's all very similar. The ow in my exH's life is very much overweight, well over 200 lbs, she's 28 but lives at home with her parents, she has 2 kids, she drinks (dont know if she does illegal drugs) but she pops over the counter pills when she drinks because she will whine n cry and use the alcohol and pills as a means for attention *I'm just going to drink and take pills til I'm dead cuz nobody loves me, waaaaaaahhhh* (I know this about her because she aint smart enough to make her online social networking life private) She's about as pretty as a blobfish http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7niSCkONG5c/SJrkFe-htCI/AAAAAAAAAyU/zPsvQ5deEbU/s400/blobfish.jpg


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Grayson said:


> Sounds like she might work in customer service. I spent about 7 years dealing only with escalated customers, and that was a phrase that was drilled into our heads. It allows for an "apology" without accepting ownership of nor responsibility for the problem itself.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am terribly unable to help you.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> (I know this about her because she aint smart enough to make her online social networking life private) She's about as pretty as a blobfish http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7niSCkONG5c/SJrkFe-htCI/AAAAAAAAAyU/zPsvQ5deEbU/s400/blobfish.jpg


Haha. Great pic, Apple.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> when I looked up my exh's ow, he was the same way. I had emailed her and asked her to leave my H alone. She, of course, called him right away to say that I had mailed her and he wanted to know why I was bothering her. Uhhh, excuse me?? Me? Bothering her??? She's interfering in my marriage!!!! She's bothering me! There is another thread on here some where I would recommend you reading about our spouses and how they affair down, meaning that the OW is typically less than what we are. Like in my situation, I have a bachelor's degree, a job that I really like, I maintain my own home and I am honest and devoted to the one I am with, the ow my ex left me for is a suicidal pill popping drunk who lives at home with ma n pa. (she uses suicide attempts for attention) she is currently playing my ex and another guy against each other like it''s some game. She's sleeping with both of them and then tells the other what she did to make the other jealous and then they fight even harder for her affection. I dont get what the prize of her is all about.


It always amazes me that a woman gets involved with a married man, screws him, plots and schemes to take him away from his wife, screws him some more often times in the marital bed, actively participates in lying, gaslighting and mocking the wife, plans a future and wants to erradicate the wife from the marriage, yet when found out and the wife comes out guns a' blazin, they act like the wife should take the high road and leave the grieving OW alone. 
Planet Delusional is where they all come from.


----------



## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> It always amazes me that a woman gets involved with a married man, screws him, plots and schemes to take him away from his wife, screws him some more often times in the marital bed, actively participates in lying, gaslighting and mocking the wife, plans a future and wants to erradicate the wife from the marriage, yet when found out and the wife comes out guns a' blazin, they act like the wife should take the high road and leave the grieving OW alone.
> Planet Delusional is where they all come from.


:iagree:


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> It always amazes me that a woman gets involved with a married man, screws him, plots and schemes to take him away from his wife, screws him some more often times in the marital bed, actively participates in lying, gaslighting and mocking the wife, plans a future and wants to erradicate the wife from the marriage, yet when found out and the wife comes out guns a' blazin, they act like the wife should take the high road and leave the grieving OW alone.
> Planet Delusional is where they all come from.


LOL @ Planet Delusional. Isn't it funny how 'they' are the victims because of the crazy wife?


----------



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> LOL @ Planet Delusional. Isn't it funny how 'they' are the victims because of the crazy wife?


Oh yeah. When my friend spent 4 days in the hospital after finding out the depths of her husband's betrayal, the OW was saying she is such a drama queen and doing this solely for attention. My friend couldn't breathe, eat, even keep down water but it was all an act. Yet when the OW "attempted" suicide and was triaged for an hour and sent home she is up in arms about how DARE my friend keep her lover away from her. Like I said, delusional and pathetic.


----------



## loveless25 (Jan 5, 2011)

thank you for all the replys! I feel better. For 1 i never had an std n she had chlamydia. she lives with her parents, shes an alcoholic, and a drug addict. Thats about all I know. I dont think I want to know anymore. She is worthless.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's amazing what you witness when you leave your gun at home.


----------



## loveless25 (Jan 5, 2011)

lol i would love to cuss her ass out n throw him off with her... i know where she lives right across his brother!!! whom he just had to visit every weekend! ugh its so disgusting. im just holding back. ive found out so much on my own within these past 2 days. "dont bother her, leave it alone, forget about her, and I DONT REMEMBER! is all i hear! makes me wana slap him but i just leave it alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

Nope, dear.
You+lawyer+6months=a better life. Burn some rubber.


----------

