# A little skeptical about this MC thing



## roostr

This is a first time experiencing any kind of counseling so I don't really understand how it should work. So, I went first, told my story, wife was in a long term affair and I busted her. Next, which was almost 3 weeks later, wife went, told her story. Next appointment is almost 2 weeks away with both of us together. 

Shouldn't the frequency be a little closer in regards to appointments? At this rate R will take 5 years if it even happens.

After I went first, wife drilled me as to what I said, I didn't care, I told her as she already knows pretty much the whole story because she was the star in the story. So she went, I figured I'd poke around and ask what was said by the counselor as far as our situation goes, wife told me counselor said I (me) need to change lol. 

I would hope that there is a much better view of the situation and obviously I will give this counseling thing a chance. But if this is any indication of how things are going to go it might be counter productive to saving our marriage. I will proceed with an open mind but is this typical of how counseling goes?


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## TryingandFrustrated

I think you are thinking on the right track. Give it a shot and be open minded once the 2 of you start your joint sessions. I'd ask the counselor next time you meet if he/she is that booked where you won't get a regular weekly time slot, or what his/her plan is. What I learned from our MC is that you need to first work on changing and healing yourselves in a way that is good for you before you can work on fixing the marriage. We have been going for a year and are hopefully near the end of our counseling. It would have been quicker if I'd have seen this in the beginning, or middle even and not be as worried about fighting for our marriage every/every other session instead on what the counselor was trying to get us to do. It also didn't help that I'm married to a therapist (although in a different field), so she had an idea of what she wanted to accomplish and how which I think slowed down the whole therapy process.


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