# Depression and jealousy is pushing away the love of my life...



## Dollface<3 (Mar 18, 2012)

Ive never used one of these so im just going to vent i guess...

My boyfriend and mines relationship is confusing to most haha i dated him 4 years ago but broke up, he went out with my friend, but me and him could never be seperated. there has never been a time in my life he has not been there for me, and vise versa, he has always simply been my other half. my longest and strongest best friend. but he dated my friend for 3 years (they had a bad relatinship) and he finally confessed to me he still loved me. so he left her, and promised me the world. But it only lasted 2 months because it was terribly difficult and the drama of the whole thing was ruining our relationships and lives, so he leaves me to try it again with her. Ive never been so depressed and heartbroken in my life... not only did my best friend betray me because it was to hard for him but i had fallin so hard at the same time for him that he shreaded my heart. but he couldnt be with her because he loved me. and decided he was going to treat me the right way and how i deserved and came back months later. now thats a ****ty thing to do really, but this man is the nicest most caring person i have every met. and you couldnt know the story and the love because your not us. but not we have been together 5 months sense than and i have never been so in love and happy. but ever sense i was little ive always suffered from mental issues: anxiety, depression. but this past 2 months have been the worse its ever been. ive pushed myself away from all my old friends but him( i just dont want to talk to them...idk) but this has made me feel so lonely, and my boyfriend is an amazing man who has lots of good friends he like to hang with. well i find myself gettig jealous over them... i feel like he spends more of his time with his friends than me. but the worst part...is its all in my head. he treats me better than ive ever been treated always making me feel loved and special. this is the man i want to marry. he even incorporates me in with his friends to make me feel better, lets me hang with them and its amazing we all get along. but in my head and depression i feel so alone because he is my love and best friend and the only person i really have to talk too. in a day...i prob only talk to him and my family i live with. but he has me and alot of other people to keep his company. i feel like my depression is becoming so deep that im drowning myself in our relationship, when i should be out having friends and being independent too. i feel like if im left alone for 2 hours i start to tear down the perfect walls of our relationship. Its all because im lonely and unhappy with myself. I hate myself fo how i think, act, and am. ive become so sickened with myself that i look at this wonderful relsatoinship i have with my best friend and i feel incomplete in it. My sadness is ruining something amazing and i dont know how to fix me...


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

dont want to sound up myself but this sounded like my wife, she has depression.

We split up 2 months ago after 1 and a half years marriage and being together for 5 years. People cant believe it. I know i treat her good etc and am caring. But she just started to treat my like ceap for the last 9 months.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Tell your parents what is going on. Are you taking any medication for depression? It sounds like you might need it. I've been on it 94 a d it saved my life. I was 23 and I still regret all the time in my youth I wasted on depression. Don't waste your young life on feeling like this when you could be getting better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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