# Slander/Libel



## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

So I lost my temper and posted that the OW was a home wrecker who cheats on her husband and with a married man on her Facebook page that she has for a direct marketing company. That is all I said and I deleted within two minutes. Now she is trying to threaten me with slander. It is the truth, and it was deleted. Now I know once it is out there, it is out there. However she says (not sure if it is true) that post go directly to her company, and her boss is a very wealthy woman. Can I be sued when this is the truth and they both admitted to it?


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

It is her personal page where she sells lingerie and sex toys....imagine that.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

I'm no lawyer... But isn't the truth on your side in these cases? She would have to prove what you wrote was untrue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

The both admitted to each spouse that they were having this affair. My husbands coworkers saw her meeting him in another state where he was working, and she stayed with them at the hotel.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

If it's true it's not slander.

Lol bout the lingerie and sex toys.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Anyone can be served by a lawyer, for any reason. They still have to prove it.

An acquaintances' blog/opinion site gets served at least twice a year, mostly for threatening legal action and cease and desist orders. He actually laughs at the lawyer and tells them he will see them in court. It never makes it that far.

Lawyers have an awesome language arsenal that tries to scare the bejeezus out if people to get their way.

If it's the truth, it's not slander or libel.


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## owl6118 (Jan 30, 2014)

bookwrmmom said:


> Can I be sued when this is the truth and they both admitted to it?


It's a two-part answer.

Yes, you can be sued--becuase anyone can be sued for anything, and forced to defend the case in court.

Can you be successfully sued--i.e., would they win the case at law? Almost certainly not. Truth is an absolute defense in torts for defamation.

But fair or not, you need to be aware of the risk that you could, potentially, have to defend the case were it to happen, with the costs that that entails.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

See YOUR lawyer but if its true its true. In NC infidelity does matter and your lawyer may get some advantages because of it.

Slander means a lie.

I like your style... except I wish you woulda left it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So do you think anyone else saw the post on the FB? Did anyone "like" it? Lol


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

The burden of proof rests with the OW, and she would have to prove malicious intent. And I don't think that any lawyer would touch this with a 10-foot pole.


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

No i don't think anyone saw it, it was literally 2 minutes and in the wee hours of the morning. Now she says that every post goes to her company but I dont believe that because I have a page set up for our gov't office and nothing anyone else posts goes to anyone but me. She is trying to scare me, she made the mistake of thinking she was smarter then me. She also scared because I told skank that I would publish an ad in the local papers in her area telling exactly what kind of person she is. 
I am tired of being toyed with. I do think that for the coming weeks that the affair is over. Her husband is a police officer and knows that my husband will be working there for 8 weeks. He knows the make and model of my husbands personal vehicle, work vehicle, where he is working, the company he works for....all of it. 
He called my husband this morning. So I do believe that for this trip to TX the affair is over. Now whether it stays that way, only time will tell. I also told my husband some real hard truths, some that he doesn't want to believe but he knows are true. She is screwing her hubby every time my husband leaves. She is screwing her hubby in the bed he purchased and put in her apartment. She told her husband humiliating things about mine sexually. Things he knows could have only come from her. He is still not sure who is telling the truth, but I know deep down in his heart he knows that I am the one telling him the truth. He just has to have the time to realize it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

bookwrmmom said:


> *No i don't think anyone saw it*, it was literally 2 minutes and in the wee hours of the morning.


Darn.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I bet she's bluffing. "I'm going to tell my boss." is not much different than, "I'm gonna tell MOM!" 

So long as you told the truth, and didn't embellish it, she can't argue that it was libel. I wouldn't do it again though or she can get you for harassment.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It's not slander if it's true - AND you can _prove it _if challenged in court. I believe the burden is on you to prove your assertion, and if you can't, you may be liable for any damage it does to her reputation and livelihood.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm an admin on a few FB group pages, and I get a notification via email on every post that goes on them due to the way things are set up. You could delete the post, but the email will already be out. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

She is probably all talk. 

She was just lashing out. 

Maybe now she'll mind her panties and stop sleeping with peoples' husbands?

I doubt (I think) taht she would want to interrupt her life/marriage to pursue something in court re: a facebook status that said something that was true. She'd have to answer, publicly (public records) in a court of law that yes, she did sleep with your husband and the cost-risk isn't worth it. She'd have everyone at work knowing about it, her personal life, public court records. It would mean more public exposure of her affair and most people would not want that.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> It's not slander if it's true - AND you can _prove it _if challenged in court. I believe the burden is on you to prove your assertion, and if you can't, you may be liable for any damage it does to her reputation and livelihood.


That is true. The onus is on the defendant to prove that their statements were true. The court assumes that all defaming statements are libelous, but the truth is a defense. If she sues you - and I'd be surprised if she did; so long as you could prove that what you said was true and not an exaggeration, she would lose. I'm sure she knows this and was bluffing.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If your post does cause her work problems, then she has nothing to lose by suing you, especially if she thinks you don't have admissible or solid evidence to back your statement. That can get tricky. You'd need emails or texts that clearly say she DID have sex with your husband, or a witness to the fact that they did. Circumstantial evidence is probably not sufficient - and can be dismissed as inconclusive or fantasy, not action. Unless you or someone you know caught them in the act, or she or your husband will testify to it (yeah, right!), you probably don't have proof.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

But her on Cheaterville and use FB to contact her friends. Her business, you should describe in the post, guarantees a huge number of hits and comments. This will utterly blow her little man in the boat out of the water and into the sky.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Name her as the OW in your divorce documents. That would help prove its not slander.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I would threaten back and say "go ahead, prove it's untrue. And while doing so you will bring this sordid little tale to the attention of a whole lot more people than what saw it on your sl*tty Facebook page".


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

I am so completely exhausted by this. I don't eat, I don't sleep, and I am suffering from anxiety. I know I have to get a grip, and take care of myself and I am trying. Today I can barely focus vision wise and I am pretty sure it is exhaustion. I have lost 14 pounds since 2/15/14 when the bomb was dropped on me. Of course at that time I didn't know there was anyone else. Of course he lied about that. 
I hate that this is consuming my life and my health.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

You should let her know that if she tried to control her urges and keep her pants from falling down for other men, she wouldn't be having this problem. She had the affair, she now owns the consequences of it. Maybe she'll think a little harder next time.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

bookwrmmom said:


> I am so completely exhausted by this. I don't eat, I don't sleep, and I am suffering from anxiety. I know I have to get a grip, and take care of myself and I am trying. Today I can barely focus vision wise and I am pretty sure it is exhaustion. I have lost 14 pounds since 2/15/14 when the bomb was dropped on me. Of course at that time I didn't know there was anyone else. Of course he lied about that.
> I hate that this is consuming my life and my health.


You have suffered/are suffering from emotional trauma - you bet it has a physical effect on you. It will ease up...but in the meantime, you need to function. I would highly suggest going to see your doctor and getting some short term meds, perhaps something to help you sleep and something for the acute anxiety. 

Your doc will likely give you a short course of Ativan or Xanax - take it. The first few weeks after dday I couldn't sleep at all. I took sleeping pills for a bit and when things evened out a bit I stopped. No shame in taking medication when it's absolutely warranted - and it is right now dear.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Actually guys the burden of proof would lay on the OP considering she made the claim.

The OW's stance is that it didn't happen and you can't prove a negative.

If it went to a lawsuit the OP would have to provide evidence it wasn't a lie (slander)

If the OP can provide this evidence and the OW knows it then this is all just hot air.

No decent lawyer would waste his time with a domestic dispute around an obvious false claim of slander.


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

I am on Ativan as needed but trying to take it ONLY when it is severe. I don't want to become dependent. i know right now my vision is blurred, and i am trying to get an appt today.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The libel thing is really not worth worrying about, whether you have proof or not. It's unlikely her work would care much about a deleted post on FB, so it's not likely to create problems for her. In that case, it would be to her disadvantage to pursue it, as it would open her actions to scrutiny by the very people she doesn't want to involve.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

End all contact and tell her to speak with your lawyer. Most people THINK they understand libel/slander, but a large majority do not.

I am a mod on another website and we used to average about 20-30 cease and desist libel complaints a year. Only one was sort of successful and that never went to court. You worry when you get served with actual court documents, not when some angry idiot sends you a letter. Yes, we even received threats from actual lawyers that turned out to be nothing.

Basically, it is a quick threat that makes you take something unwanted or embarrassing off the internet.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

She is blowing smoke. She doesn't know what she is talking about. It is not slander. It would be libel. And does the twit realise that if she does sue you all of the allegations would be revealed in open court?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Ok, some of this is possible, some is off base. Most likely we are dealing with "libel" since it is written. Slander is spoken. In either case its defamation of character. 
Here's the thing. Defamation cases tend to be difficult for the Plaintiff to win, and damage awards are usually small. As a result, it's going to hard for this woman to find an attorney to be willing to take it on as a contingent fee basis. Likely the the cost to her in litigating will exceed any possible recovery.
Even if she has a standing to sue ( the notion you can sue anybody for anything is crap) what is she going to claim--"I was fuc-ing everybody in town and it damaged my reputation when bookwrmmom spilled the beans". 
I'm disappointed you didn't leave it up.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Agree with lots of the other posters that she is not even smart enough to threaten the correct charge of "libel" and not "slander" which shows how much she knows and has looked into it. If anything she should have used the threat of defamation of character to avoid the confusion she created.

I wish there was a tort for the threatening of lawsuits, as maybe that would stop these shenanigans altogether?


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## cool12 (Nov 17, 2013)

you really need to take care of yourself.
i know you don't want to eat but you have to. if you can't sleep go get some OTC sleep aids. this is a battle you need to be healthy for.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Libel is written/slander is verbal. If you stick to the facts you are fine either way. Everyone threatens this lawsuit in divorce or affair exposure. It goes nowhere and is useless. Some may actually try but the very moment a jury hears divorce or affair they have pretty much made up there mind.

Libel/slander cases have jurys and is different than divorce. Its an idle threat and do you really think a person wants to go into court to defend that they are a cheater? The person suing you would also have to prove they suffered a hardship money wise, say they lost a job because of what was said. If they have not suffered a hardship they have nothing to win in a suit.

No one is going to sue anyone. Stick with the facts and you are fine.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

I didn't read all the comments and probably people said smarter things first. If it's truth, it's not libel, slander, or defamation. Full stop. Second question, what are her damages? Fer crissakes, all the drama. Sue her ass for intentional infliction of emotional distress.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

Harken Banks said:


> I didn't read all the comments and probably people said smarter things first. If it's truth, it's not libel, slander, or defamation. Full stop. Second question, what are her damages? Fer crissakes, all the drama. Sue her ass for intentional infliction of emotional distress.


Yep.. this; If the verifiable truth isn't enough to have it thrown out on it's own, a big part of any civil case is being able to prove financial damages as a direct result. Good luck with that.. if so, it also opens a countersuit potential of mental distress and financial damages in the form of a divorce and attorney's fees. Big ole can of worms.

So don't worry about it.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Libel Vs Slander

*Slander* involves the oral "publication" of a defamatory remark that is heard by another, which injures the subject's reputation or character. 

*Libel*, on the other hand, is the written "publication" of a defamatory remark that has the tendency to injure another's reputation or character.

The elements of a defamation suit; whether slander or libel, are:

1. A defamatory statement;

2. Published to a third party;

3. Which the speaker knew or should have known was false;

4. That causes injury to the subject of the communication

[Looking at those elements, you did make a non-complimentary remark but was it a defamatory statement. You did publish it to a third party. And it may or may not have caused her injury (did she lose her job? or get reprimanded?) HOWEVER...the statement is TRUE.]

In a legal case, the defendant doesn't have to prove that the statements made are true; instead the plaintiff (that would be her) has to prove that the defamatory statements made against her are false. In other words, the burden of proof is on the plaintiff. Also, in both a slander and libel case the plaintiff needs to prove that the statement was published by the defendant (and not someone else). 

In a libel case, the common law is that the publication of defamatory statements in a transmittable, affixed form that is capable of widespread and simple dissemination will certainly cause damage and therefore damage to one's reputation or character is enough for a court to impose damages. 

A slander case is different. The common law requires that the plaintiff prove, not only damage to his/her reputation, but also financial damage. So if she went this route, she'd have to prove she lost her job or money somehow.

Is defamation on the internet libel or slander? Well there have been cases where the court has awarded damages from internet defamation, but they were for actions like "posting more than 14,000 defamatory messages on over 100 different websites" and "posting numerous comments on message boards." You posted ONCE and removed it within 120 seconds. 

So she can threaten you all she wants, but in order to WIN, she would have to prove that what you posted was false; she'd have to prove you posted it (and not her husband or someone else who's pissed at her); and she'd have to prove that she lost some money somewhere directly because of that posted comment. 

I don't see it. She's blowing hot air, and if it were me, I'd tell her "Go ahead and try it--let's drag all the proof of your adultery into a court of law so the evidence is public knowledge. I love that idea." Then again, I'm feisty.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Bookworm, in order to get the upper hand on a person like this, who knows how to push your buttons, you need more sedatives than her. Every time she makes trouble for you, invest some of your time in something that's important to you and will deliver positive results into your life. After a while you will see that she is wasting her life trying to be right while you are enjoying yours. 

What you did is probably defensible as (1) you were provoked (2) you were sleep deprived as a result of anxiety and not in your right mind - getting a dx and some sedatives will show that you did something to address your actions and to prevent them from happening again, in case anyone should need to know, i.e. judge... and (3) any company knows that they need to screen any posts from the public. Not doing so is opening themselves up to any nutcase who wants to post something on their page. (See #2.) 

What I learned from my experience with crazy-causing b*tches is that if you are nuts (even for a short period of time) and don't mind accepting that you were pushed by crazy-makers into actually being crazed for a bit, you can and will get away with some stuff that you ordinarily could not. But there is a window of opportunity, because now she is on guard for this, and having been the provoker, she will now become the "victim" and say you made up the story, that you were the cheater, etc. etc. etc. 

You need to calm down and stay in control or you will cause more damage to your own life than anyone else has done, ever.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

If I were you I would repost it, add some more details, then email her back and say _*take your best shot*_.

Then inform her that if she does choose to sue you will have all her personal and work emails and text messages subpoenaed for evidence. Furthermore (as stated above by Harkin) you will in turn counter-sue her for intentional infliction of emotional distress, or if your state allows it, alienation of affection.

You do these two things and I promise you that you wouldn't be able to pull a straight pin out of her ass with a John Deere tractor.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

*Re: Re: Slander/Libel*



Harken Banks said:


> I didn't read all the comments and probably people said smarter things first. If it's truth, it's not libel, slander, or defamation. Full stop. Second question, what are her damages? Fer crissakes, all the drama. Sue her ass for intentional infliction of emotional distress.


And name her as the OW in the divorce. She wants to go the legal route, you do it too. Even if you are in a no fault state. DO IT!


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

3putt said:


> If I were you I would repost it, add some more details, then email her back and say _*take your best shot*_.
> 
> Then inform her that if she does choose to sue you will have all her personal and work emails and text messages subpoenaed for evidence. Furthermore (as stated above by Harkin) you will in turn counter-sue her for intentional infliction of emotional distress, or if your state allows it, alienation of affection.
> 
> *You do these two things and I promise you that you wouldn't be able to pull a straight pin out of her ass with a John Deere tractor.*



Thxxxxxxxxxx! That Bronx cheer goes to the idiot woman who's been threatening to sue you for "speaking" the truth. That last quote paints an hilarious mental picture. Stay strong. Don't worry about this pos causing you any trouble. She doesn't have a case. If she's stupid enough to actually take you to court, she'll lose, then you can sue her for court costs. :rofl:


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

3putt said:


> If I were you I would repost it, add some more details, then email her back and say _*take your best shot*_.
> 
> Then inform her that if she does choose to sue you will have all her personal and work emails and text messages subpoenaed for evidence. Furthermore (as stated above by Harkin) you will in turn counter-sue her for intentional infliction of emotional distress, or if your state allows it, alienation of affection.
> 
> You do these two things and I promise you that you wouldn't be able to pull a straight pin out of her ass with a John Deere tractor.


3putt that was so awesome, had I been taking a sip of my drink it would have come back out! LOVE it.

So the good news my friends is that I did carry my butt to my wonderful Dr. I explained that I was at my breaking point due to NO sleep to speak of...like an hour or 2 a night. Well she told me to take 2 of my atavan at bedtime, and it did the trick. I still woke up a couple of time, but I was able to drift back off. A few more days of that and I will be functioning better.
Yeah the OW can kiss my a$$, I am the injured party and they both have admitted it to each spouse....so yeah take me to court. I will make sure everyone knows just what she is. A homewrecker that also sells sextoys and lingerie for a living. Skank :rofl:


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## cool12 (Nov 17, 2013)

glad you're getting some help. 

do you know if your WH used a condom with this skank?
you might need it make another dr appt if not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

So there are a couple of real truths that I have been able to pick up out of this situation. One is that he truly didn't have sex with her until he left me. Also since her and her husband are trying to work things out and she is still having sex with her husband she said that they always used protection. Not that I believe her as far as I can throw her. I do however know that the 1st real opportunity he had to do the deed was after he left me. See she is a couple thousand miles away.
So when he tells me that I don't have to worry about STD's the only reason I know this is true is because of his availability in reaching the skank.


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