# X's On Facebook



## Mr. Romeo (May 11, 2011)

I'm male and in a serious relationship. However I still maintain a connection with ex-lovers, now only as friends, as Facebook friends. My girlfriend however becomes hurt when she sees that I am in touch via facebook even though it is truly innocent (i.e. - made a comment about an x's dog today.) Do most people feel it wrong to have any sort of connection to x's that are now still friends? I feel a like cutting people from my life is wrong. What are your points of view? (and please specify if you are male or female, and what your orientation is...thank you).


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## Latigo (Apr 27, 2011)

It is all about what is acceptable within the context of your relationship. I woudn't let my wife add exes and I wouldn't do it either.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Get rid of fb now and avoid the whole thing!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Wow, look into my story and you'll see that it's not a good idea. I never thought in a million years it would be a problem for my husband to have ex's on his facebook. But he's now left me for one that lives 2500 miles away. So, NOT A GOOD IDEA. Rob774 had posted a great post on why it's a bad idea. Just search for facebook in the search function and you'll find lots of posts.


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## lam4391 (Apr 16, 2011)

I would be upset if my husband had ANY contact with ex's that is a definite no no in our book. IMO No you shouldnt have any contact with ex's esp if it is hurting your current GF


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

sounds like your leaving the door open for a booty call.


whats more important your x's on face book or your current relationship.

time to make a decision.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Never have spent much time on facebook. I know my ex-husband has a fb page, but I would not send him a friend request nor do I believe he would me. We will have to remain in contact with each other due to our son still being rather young. 

On the other hand, I have become friends with one of the guys I’ve dated since my divorce. He has been there, even just as a friend, when I really needed it. I will not cut ties with my friend because of another man’s jealousy. During one of those "What was I thinking" moments, I also dated my farrier just a little after we were both divorced. I have known him for several years. He had been shoeing my horses for 10 years before I had to get rid of them after the divorce. And when I am in a position to get horses again, I will definitely have him shoe my horses. No exaggeration, he is one of the best around.

Those who know me well also realize when the relationship door closes, there is no going back into the relationship for me. I can be friends, but anything more is too awkward for me. If I were confident a guy whom I was seeing felt that same way, then I wouldn’t have problems if he kept in contact with an Ex.


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## AFW8 (Oct 24, 2010)

I'm a female and i have a fb and my husband does not. I don't have any exes on my friends list just because i don't have a reason for keeping them in my life. They are your exes for a reason and if your gf doesn't like it, then I also think it's time to make a decision wether if having contact with these exes is more important than making your gf feel comfortable.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

I dunno why everyone flips out over this FB thing. Its as if people never saw, or couldnt contact an X before the internet

That said, it all depends on the nature of the past relationship, I have HS XGFs on mine, that I talk to once in while. They have familys now, I havent seen most of them in 20 years! I might aswell be talking to my brothe , theres mutually no desire whatsoever to hook up , its just a hometown, childhood friend thing.

Now if it was a former, adult LTR, then that should probably not be someone you still are regularly talking to on FB, if your married.


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

I agree with majority in this case whats more important making your exgirlfriend feel happy and loved because she is on your facebook or making you current girlfriend feel happy and loved because you got rid of them. This is a test of your relationship if you can not get rid of them by your own free will then you WILL end up having other problems in your relationship because you are putting someone elses needs (besides yourself) over your partners needs. Her needs are more important then anyone elses besides yourself.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

If you won't give up exes on fb for her, don't marry her. You aren't that into her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JeffX (Oct 13, 2010)

She should have more trust in you. And I don't think you're looking for booty calls or keeping that option open. Unless you were flirting with these women, then I don't see a problem with it. For me, there is a reason those women are in the past. And that is where they will stay. 

And even without FB, you can still find people fairly easy if you want to.


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## nynaeve3 (Apr 12, 2011)

lam4391 said:


> IMO No you shouldnt have any contact with ex's esp if it is hurting your current GF


I think that's important, because surely it should be a case of putting your current partner first and before any previous partners, particularly if you aren't in contact with them outside of FB and have added them "just because" so having them on there or not will make no difference (I'm not assuming this is your case, I guess I've moved on to more general territory and using the royal "you").


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## boxer (Apr 30, 2011)

It must not be a very serious relationship if you are having cyber contact with your exes. 

This board is a good example of women treating men badly, but in some cases men treat women badly too. If your relationship is serious, you should be cutting your exes off and expecting your woman to do the same. Otherwise you may as well just be single.


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## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

Mr. Romeo said:


> I'm male and in a serious relationship. However I still maintain a connection with ex-lovers, now only as friends, as Facebook friends. My girlfriend however becomes hurt when she sees that I am in touch via facebook even though it is truly innocent (i.e. - made a comment about an x's dog today.) Do most people feel it wrong to have any sort of connection to x's that are now still friends? I feel a like cutting people from my life is wrong. What are your points of view? (and please specify if you are male or female, and what your orientation is...thank you).


Putting the Facebook thing aside for a minute....I think the real issue in your situation is that you GF doesn't have complete trust in you - yet. 

So if I was you I'd be asking myself "What part do I play in her not trusting me completely? Do I behave in a way that leaves absolutely no room for doubting my trustworthiness? Am I reliable and honest with her?".

If you know that she has no reason to doubt your trustworthiness (because you're sincere in your honesty and openess) then the issue is with her....she has trust issues. 

If you truly love her and are serious to the point of wanting to spend the rest of your lives together then you will do what you can to prove to her that you are not the person who has harmed her trust in others. You are you - someone who deserves her trust....because you are earning it.

Eventhough I personally don't have ex's on any online friends list (no need for them) - I think that in your situation, removing your ex's from yours right now could be simply playing in to the symptoms of your GF's trust issue. Deleting your ex's is not proving you are trustworthy....all it's saying is "I'm playing along with you to make you happy". It will appease her for a short while....until the next thing comes up - perhaps next time it will be something to do with txt messaging or email etc.

Of course you want your GF to feel happy and secure with you, and of course you should do what you can to bring that about for her....but I just think that unless she faces her own demons then nothing you do will ever be enough in the end.

Better to slay the dragon then keep having to fight it's hatchlings.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

If you can't put your current relationship above such things, and don't care to make her comfortable, then it won't work.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

LonelyNLost said:


> * Rob774 had posted a great post on why it's a bad idea. * Just search for facebook in the search function and you'll find lots of posts.


Thanks for the nod, i get excited when i see threads of FB.



lam4391 said:


> I would be upset if my husband had ANY contact with ex's that is a definite no no in our book. IMO No you shouldnt have any contact with ex's esp if it is hurting your current GF


I couldn't of said this any better!!! :smthumbup:



franklinfx said:


> I dunno why everyone flips out over this FB thing. Its as if people never saw, or couldnt contact an X before the internet
> 
> That said, it all depends on the nature of the past relationship, I have HS XGFs on mine, that I talk to once in while. They have familys now, I havent seen most of them in 20 years! I might aswell be talking to my brothe , theres mutually no desire whatsoever to hook up , its just a hometown, childhood friend thing.
> 
> Now if it was a former, adult LTR, then that should probably not be someone you still are regularly talking to on FB, if your married.


Your situation... the boundaries are clear and cut. So people like you won't have a problem.



Syrum said:


> If you can't put your current relationship above such things, and don't care to make her comfortable, then it won't work.


This! She feels this strongly about it, its of little sacrifice to you to give her the win on this.

As i've mentioned countless times before on this board. I think that having Ex's as friends on FB are a big NO-NO! I don't have it and niether does my wife. @FranfklinFX - people say its, just a tool, they are correct in that regards, but its a tool that puts you in DIRECT communication to people you used to intimate with. Before FB, you be lucky if you had 1 random encounter with you Ex for the rest of your entire life. Now these Ex's are a Instant Message away. 

As a married man, you don't need to be in close contact with your college ex-girlfriend... who just happened to be a screamer. The reason why you aren't with her starts to become blurred, because all you can remember is how much of a turn on it was to turn her on. As a married girl, you don't need to be in close contact with the guy who had a **** the girth of a beer can. You start to forget how much a douche bag he was, remembering only that he'd beat it up to the point where you pulled all the sheets off the bed. The good times... are what we end up remembering, when we friend Exs on FB. Some of these Exs are married, some others keep their distance. But all it takes is one, that one that you never completely got over, and if you are going through something with your current lover, you'll find yourself vulnerable to the whims of this person. THat's why you have to respect proper boundaries while in a relationship, and while you are with somebody, people you were once intimate with should not close to you, its just a bad idea all around.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

FB is evil 

I used to have an account and so did H. We didn't add ex's from any time in our lives because in our opinion that was just setting us up to fall into that 'remember the good ole days' trap. 

The past always looks glossed over and rosy. You forget why the person is an ex when you're online and it's SO easy to look at them and think what if...even if you're totally happy with your current spouse/significant other.


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## Edge (Mar 30, 2011)

I have a FB and my wife does not. I had several girls I had dated on there as I had added them while seeing them and just never deleted them. Didn't really think about it much. Then the other day I was on there and wife was with me. She was asking how I knew certain people and when I mentioned I had dated the one girl she was not mad but definitely not happy. I think her exact words were "delete her". I now have no one on there I have ever dated. It was not a big loss as honestly I did not talk to them anyway and it made her happy. After that I went through and down sized my friend list. I have barely 100 people on there now. FB is a big factor in divorces now. I don't want it to affect my marriage in any way.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Edge said:


> I have a FB and my wife does not. I had several girls I had dated on there as I had added them while seeing them and just never deleted them. Didn't really think about it much. Then the other day I was on there and wife was with me. She was asking how I knew certain people and when I mentioned I had dated the one girl she was not mad but definitely not happy. I think her exact words were "delete her". I now have no one on there I have ever dated. It was not a big loss as honestly I did not talk to them anyway and it made her happy. After that I went through and down sized my friend list. I have barely 100 people on there now. FB is a big factor in divorces now. I don't want it to affect my marriage in any way.


You made a wise decision, see it just threatens people to know that ex came be so close to you in a moment's notice. We post the drama of our lives in our FB status, and our EX reads it. Next thing you know that ex is in your ear, saying EVERYTHING you want to hear.


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## Crftlot490 (May 13, 2011)

I would have to say I agree that it is a slightly inappropriate gesture. It is no reason for your girlfriend to feel threatened or insanely jealous, but people's reasons for keeping in contact with old exes always seemed very weak to me. They always claim that it's innocent or that it's "nothing," but if it was really "nothing" then it shouldn't be that difficult to just let go and let the past be the past. Ex's are Ex's for good reasons. Once you have been with someone romantically and decide it would not work out for the two of you, it is often best to just go your separate ways and move on instead of trying to complicate everything by assuming that because the relationship didn't end in bitter hatred, that it's ok to remain "buddies." This is usually a very bad move when one or both parties also has another new significant other. It creates problems because most of the contact is often inappropriate. I don't see any legitimate reason for keeping up with an ex of any kind unless it's on a professional, business, or formal level, or unless you have children or some other family ties or obligations with that person. Otherwise, it's usually wise to just let it go. If your girlfriend has genuine concerns, hear her out. I am not accusing you of anything and am sure you mean no harm whatsoever, but if it makes her feel uncomfortable, that should be more important to you. The whole "flirty" friendly, fun deal with exes is really funky and suspicious looking about 99% of the time. Of course you have the right to have whatever friends you want on facebook without her arousing suspicions, but would you like her keeping contact with her old boyfriends unnecessarily? Would you answer, "Yes" to that question just for the sake of argument or to justify your own situation, or would you genuinely have a problem with it? If you are like alot of men, you would have a problem with your wife or gf doing something that you yourself participate in lol, so ask yourself that honestly, and I really hope everything works out for the two of you.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Rob774 said:


> Thanks for the nod, i get excited when i see threads of FB.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Im sorry I dont buy this logic, what about people seeing their baby momma and daddys, every week? I understand thats necessary but if just being in contact with an EX meant you were gonna have sex with them again, wed be doing the nasty every time we pick the kids up. I think FB is just a scapegoat for people who wanna cheat, theyre gonna cheat with or without FB, if not with an ex on FB, it would be on some raunchy dating site or craigslist. Its like saying if people dont have guns theyll be no more murders.


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## andy32m (Jan 27, 2011)

I am sorry but is facebook really a fight worth having in your current relationship? If it is, then the relationship must not be that important. My wife "found" and "reconnected" with an ex on facebook and I told her I wasn't comfortable with it. She told me there was nothing to it and it was harmless. Her constant chatting with this guy really made me upset and I told her to stop and delete him. Well, she said "she wouldn't be in a relationship in which someone told her who she could and couldn't talk to."

Needless to say, they developed an emotional affair and now we are getting a divorce. 

Whether you think it is harmless or not, respect the person you are currently committed to, because that is going to be a more fruitful relationship than "keeping up" with old exes.


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

Wow looks like a lot of insecure people who don't trust their spouses are telling you to cut off your FB. I could not disagree more! I can personally say I am friends with almost all of my ex's and if my husband didn't want to "put up" with that he would be my ex too.  I would never be unfaithful to him and I think it's a sign of MATURITY not a red flag for infidelity if someone can have a platonic friendship with someone after they have dated them. I would say "here's my passwords", show her you have had no flirtatious or sexually charged email or comment exchanges. That may ease her mind about the scenario but really... I personally think it's ridiculous. Although in my M we have passwords saved and automatically load on our emails and profiles because we know we aren't hiding anything. So maybe that kind of thing would help. Good luck to you and don't listen to the insecure haters, you have a right to be friends with who you want!


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

andy32m said:


> I am sorry but is facebook really a fight worth having in your current relationship? If it is, then the relationship must not be that important. My wife "found" and "reconnected" with an ex on facebook and I told her I wasn't comfortable with it. She told me there was nothing to it and it was harmless. Her constant chatting with this guy really made me upset and I told her to stop and delete him. Well, she said "she wouldn't be in a relationship in which someone told her who she could and couldn't talk to."
> 
> Needless to say, they developed an emotional affair and now we are getting a divorce.


That's not needless to say at all! I would say the same thing to my H if he tried to control who I communicated with and I would also *never *cheat on him. Women may be more likely to cheat on you if you're not meeting their emotional needs, in your case it sounds like you did not trust her. Doesn't make her right for doing it, affairs are never okay, but I'll bet it wasn't the connection with the ex that lured her to do it but that you were forbidding it and being distrusting and controlling.


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

Crftlot490 said:


> I would have to say I agree that it is a slightly inappropriate gesture. It is no reason for your girlfriend to feel threatened or insanely jealous, but people's reasons for keeping in contact with old exes always seemed very weak to me. They always claim that it's innocent or that it's "nothing," but if it was really "nothing" then it shouldn't be that difficult to just let go and let the past be the past. Ex's are Ex's for good reasons. Once you have been with someone romantically and decide it would not work out for the two of you, it is often best to just go your separate ways and move on instead of trying to complicate everything by assuming that because the relationship didn't end in bitter hatred, that it's ok to remain "buddies." This is usually a very bad move when one or both parties also has another new significant other. It creates problems because most of the contact is often inappropriate. I don't see any legitimate reason for keeping up with an ex of any kind unless it's on a professional, business, or formal level, or unless you have children or some other family ties or obligations with that person. Otherwise, it's usually wise to just let it go. If your girlfriend has genuine concerns, hear her out. I am not accusing you of anything and am sure you mean no harm whatsoever, but if it makes her feel uncomfortable, that should be more important to you. The whole "flirty" friendly, fun deal with exes is really funky and suspicious looking about 99% of the time. Of course you have the right to have whatever friends you want on facebook without her arousing suspicions, but would you like her keeping contact with her old boyfriends unnecessarily? Would you answer, "Yes" to that question just for the sake of argument or to justify your own situation, or would you genuinely have a problem with it? If you are like alot of men, you would have a problem with your wife or gf doing something that you yourself participate in lol, so ask yourself that honestly, and I really hope everything works out for the two of you.




I am very genuinely FRIENDS, with no romantic feeling AT ALL, with several of my ex boyfriends from the past.


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

surfergirl said:


> Putting the Facebook thing aside for a minute....I think the real issue in your situation is that you GF doesn't have complete trust in you - yet.
> 
> So if I was you I'd be asking myself "What part do I play in her not trusting me completely? Do I behave in a way that leaves absolutely no room for doubting my trustworthiness? Am I reliable and honest with her?".
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## Latigo (Apr 27, 2011)

I don't think there are any hard rules about this, which is why I mentioned context in my first post. That being said, in the context of my marriage, I don't put up with it. It isn't about trust. For me it is about respect. I find it very disrespectful if my wife were to add exes, im with guys, or even gaming one on one with other guys. That amounts to stealing from me. Their a certain rare situations where I'm cool, but generally no. If another couple are ok with it...more power to them. I have a wife that understands that I have a problem with those kinds of things. It wasn't a big deal for her to let certain activities go or to not start them in the first place.


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

Latigo said:


> I don't think there are any hard rules about this, which is why I mentioned context in my first post. That being said, in the context of my marriage, I don't put up with it. It isn't about trust. For me it is about respect. I find it very disrespectful if my wife were to add exes, im with guys, or even gaming one on one with other guys. That amounts to stealing from me. Their a certain rare situations where I'm cool, but generally no. If another couple are ok with it...more power to them. I have a wife that understands that I have a problem with those kinds of things. It wasn't a big deal for her to let certain activities go or to not start them in the first place.


"That amounts to stealing from me"- your wife is not your possession! I feel sorry for her if she has such poor self esteem that she has no problem being with a man who views her as something he owns or who needs to control her behavior. That's very sad.


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## VLR (May 15, 2011)

You do not have a Facebook issue IMO

a) What do you want your relationship with your girlfriend to be and where do you want it to go? If she is simply your "Current girlfriend" until someone better comes along, then she needs to deal or move on.

b) If/ when you do want a relationship that will survive, you have to decide what you are willing to do and what you are willing to give up in order to cultivate trust. The issue of exes on FB is a trust issue. Either you find someone who trusts you enough even with your exes on FB or you decide you are willing to do what it takes to demonstrate trustworthiness beyond question.


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## boxer (Apr 30, 2011)

This is silly. People with "serious relationships" don't chat up old ex girlfriends every day. 

The OP would be better if he quit lying to himself, let the girl he is leading on go free, and just be single. There is nothing wrong with flirting and keeping in touch with exes, but you shouldn't lie to yourself and others, or pretend to be monogamous. You're not monogamous if you are keeping all your old steadies on standby.


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## Latigo (Apr 27, 2011)

AvaTara539 said:


> "That amounts to stealing from me"- your wife is not your possession! I feel sorry for her if she has such poor self esteem that she has no problem being with a man who views her as something he owns or who needs to control her behavior. That's very sad.


 "your wife is not your possession!"
True enough. As such, she has the right to exit the relationship whenever the afore mentioned activities become more important than me.

"she has such poor self esteem that she has no problem being with a man who views her as something he owns or who needs to control her behavior"
I would counter that she has A LOT of self esteem. She showed me that she doesn't need to IM, chat,text, add exes, flirt with, or gaming with other men to stroke her ego. That she was willing to take what I wanted into consideration. That's CLASS...that's SELF ESTEEM. :smthumbup: In fact, it is her confidence and self esteem that draw men to her. Once again, I can admit that these are value judgements on my part. But, I insist upon them. 

This isn't the first time I have gotten a reaction like this when writing about this issue. In fact, someone tells me that she is not my "possession" everytime! I wonder why such a strong reaction when a) I clearly say that what works for us may not work for other people, and I respect those who chose to live differently, and b), it isn't like she has NO choice in the matter. This is an educated woman who is making a consciouss decision.
Lastly, rather than low self esteem, I move that it is our relationship and our life together that were the major influences in her decision when these subjects were brought up. I am very liberal in most other apects of our life. In fact the freedoms my wife has, and the privileges I provide often make her the envy of her social circle. It is just this one issue that I have put the kibosh on! Also, it may appear that this is all one sided. Not so. If I told you some of the things she has "MADE" me give up :rofl: you'd realize that I can sacrifice and compromise with the best of 'em!


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

franklinfx said:


> Im sorry I dont buy this logic, *what about people seeing their baby momma and daddys, every week?* I understand thats necessary but if just being in contact with an EX meant you were gonna have sex with them again, wed be doing the nasty every time we pick the kids up. I think FB is just a scapegoat for people who wanna cheat, theyre gonna cheat with or without FB, if not with an ex on FB, it would be on some raunchy dating site or craigslist. Its like saying if people dont have guns theyll be no more murders.


Not the same thing. Because that situation is unique. 99% never lose continued contact with your baby-momma's for obvious reasons. People dont' go onto FB looking to cheat, but it happens when they let their guard down and aren't careful. Some of you are speaking on personal bias, "I wouldn't dare..." Well that's good for you, there are alot of people who are daring.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

andy32m said:


> I am sorry but is facebook really a fight worth having in your current relationship? If it is, then the relationship must not be that important. My wife "found" and "reconnected" with an ex on facebook and I told her I wasn't comfortable with it. She told me there was nothing to it and it was harmless. Her constant chatting with this guy really made me upset and I told her to stop and delete him. Well, she said "she wouldn't be in a relationship in which someone told her who she could and couldn't talk to."
> 
> Needless to say, they developed an emotional affair and now we are getting a divorce.
> 
> Whether you think it is harmless or not, respect the person you are currently committed to, because that is going to be a more fruitful relationship than "keeping up" with old exes.


Wow, you could be my twin! We are in the exact same situation. My husband even made it about me having a trust issue after a past EA. But I tried to trust him, and I basically just sat idle while their relationship became deeper. I heard the exact same line. It spelled disaster. Now he's walking around acting like he's just moving on and it happens to be with HER. Uh, yeah, you haven't even been out of the house 2 months and she lives 2500 miles away. 

Bottom line...are the exes as friends more important than your significant other? That's what it boils down to. 




AvaTara539 said:


> That's not needless to say at all! I would say the same thing to my H if he tried to control who I communicated with and I would also *never *cheat on him. Women may be more likely to cheat on you if you're not meeting their emotional needs, in your case it sounds like you did not trust her. Doesn't make her right for doing it, affairs are never okay, but I'll bet it wasn't the connection with the ex that lured her to do it but that you were forbidding it and being distrusting and controlling.


This self-entitled selfish attitude is exactly what ends up being the issue. Some people have boundaries they won't cross, but everyone has moments of weakness. Never say never! Sounds to me like he trusted her, but she used that trust to do something inappropriate and selfish, in true cheater fashion. And you're basically saying he thrust her into the arms of the other man. What a load of BS. Him telling her that he's uncomfortable and asking her to cut contact is not what causes her to reconnect with the ex. The ex was already an issue, and she used it to justify her actions. Yes, there were unfulfilled needs, but if you are married, you owe it to your partner to communicate that instead of stepping outside the marriage.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

AvaTara539 said:


> Wow looks like a lot of insecure people who don't trust their spouses are telling you to cut off your FB. I could not disagree more! I can personally say I am friends with almost all of my ex's and if my husband didn't want to "put up" with that he would be my ex too.  I would never be unfaithful to him and I think it's a sign of MATURITY not a red flag for infidelity if someone can have a platonic friendship with someone after they have dated them. I would say "here's my passwords", show her you have had no flirtatious or sexually charged email or comment exchanges. That may ease her mind about the scenario but really... I personally think it's ridiculous. Although in my M we have passwords saved and automatically load on our emails and profiles because we know we aren't hiding anything. So maybe that kind of thing would help. Good luck to you and don't listen to the insecure haters, you have a right to be friends with who you want!


So if your husband approaced you and said, he's uncomfortable with your Ex's on FB... u'd divorce. Wow, no wonder your stance is like this, and i'm not shocked you have EX's on FB either. Snippy comebacks seem the be the MO for people who don't have an issue with this. 

It has nothing to do with being insecure. Google "Facebook Ruins Marriages." Do you think people are making this stuff up??? I am sure their are people who might have cheated anyway without FB. But FB made it alot easier for people who were weak during a moment, to have an affair. U seem pretty proud of the fact you have all your Exs on FB. Why do you need to keep in contact with guys you were once intimate with? To me, its all about boundaries, and being that close to people like this is palying a dangerous game.


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## Crftlot490 (May 13, 2011)

AvaTara539 said:


> I am very genuinely FRIENDS, with no romantic feeling AT ALL, with several of my ex boyfriends from the past.


Well, that's nice--there's always "exceptions" to the rules--doesn't make it a good idea to go befriending ex's when you've remarried. You must be the ONE woman on earth who can put emotions aside and think logically when it comes to past relationships....smh...I think people exaggerate things like this for the sake of argument. Your situation doesn't validate or excuse the inappropriateness of that behavior. It's just disrespectful to a spouse as a married person, and that relationship should be more important than all others.


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## Crftlot490 (May 13, 2011)

Rob774 said:


> So if your husband approaced you and said, he's uncomfortable with your Ex's on FB... u'd divorce. Wow, no wonder your stance is like this, and i'm not shocked you have EX's on FB either. Snippy comebacks seem the be the MO for people who don't have an issue with this.
> 
> It has nothing to do with being insecure. Google "Facebook Ruins Marriages." Do you think people are making this stuff up??? I am sure their are people who might have cheated anyway without FB. But FB made it alot easier for people who were weak during a moment, to have an affair. U seem pretty proud of the fact you have all your Exs on FB. Why do you need to keep in contact with guys you were once intimate with? To me, its all about boundaries, and being that close to people like this is palying a dangerous game.


:iagree: My sentiments exactly.


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