# Always the go between



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

My DD is home for the holidays from college. She has been stressed over the last semester as she had many assignments, research projects, exams etc. She has put on a bit of weight, (not much IMO) and we noticed she is fond of partying (though we weren't much different when university students). 
However, my H has a bee in his bonnet about her gaining weight and drinking. He nags ME about it and insists I MUST speak to her. I don't see it as a problem, just something she has to figure out, she is passing her exams, studying, etc. Yes, she goes out with friends, and she can drink quite a bit and still be sober. 
So we fought last night because i feel he is over the top about this, expects me to do his dirty work and is likely to crush her self esteem (she hates that she has put on weight). But she is sporty so I know she can lose it. (Incidentally we are from different cultures so parenting has always been a bone of contention).
Now he has the hump with me and says no-one listens to him, that I don't and neither does the kids. In truth the kids come to me and complain about his unreasonable behaviour and I am stuck in the middle trying to get him to be more reasonable and them to respect their father. When they went off to study we fought less because most of our fights are centred on them, now they are home, it's happening again.
last night I told him if he has an issue, take it up with her (she is 20) and stop asking me to be the go between, I've been there done that and it's not happening anymore. Of course, I am the bad person, I cannot communicate, I don't listen to him, etc. Now he is not speaking to me and all of this is nothing to do with me. My son has only been back for a week, same thing happened and I had to tell my son to humour the father (my son is a very direct person) just to have peace.
I have a good relationship with my kids, and so does my H when he is not griping about something.

So bloody fed up :frown2:


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