# lonely :(



## thegreenfairy (Jan 2, 2014)

hey all

my marriage has now come to a silent end i feel,after talking until im blue in the face about how we both need to make it work it seems my husband has proven he is never going to ever support me in anything.
Ive been having terrible problems with my business and he never comes to solicitors appointments with me or helps me with anything,yet expects me to be all nice and friendly when we are at home together.
I recently had a horrendous experiance with a medical professional who performed an internal scan,basically after making many innapropriate comments i returned home bawling my eyes out and very upset and after telling my husband what had happened he dident show me any kind of comfort at all and went out to one of his friends houses to spend a few hours working out and smoking pot.
How can someone change in such a way? to go from making you feel like the most imporant person on earth? dont make sense


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

Do you have more info?

Kids?
How long married?
Turning points in marriage?

Thing is, YOU can never change a person. They can only change themselves. 

If your husband is at friends house smoking pot and not at home with family then it's time to get a fire lit under is arse with divorce papers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

You're going to have to show him in whatever way necessary that there are things you need that he's not giving you. Until he understands that you are about to lose your love for him, he may just be oblivious to what he's doing that is hurting you. That's just how we men can be sometimes. Does your husband love you? If so, he'll make things right with you if given the chance, after seeing that he may lose you if he doesn't-- at least I would, anyway. You DO need to be nice and friendly when you're at home-- otherwise how can you expect him to react to you? People are human after all. They're going to respond to good treatment one way, another to bad treatment. I can tell you for sure that people can change! My wife stopped loving me completely. There's no reason it can't go the other way, if a person wants to!
Good luck.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I hate to be a Debbie downer here, but is there a possibility that he knows exactly what he's doing. Perhaps he's pushing you away because he doesn't have the strength to leave? Obviously, this is pure speculation on my part.


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## thegreenfairy (Jan 2, 2014)

its a long story really...ive posted in here before....our marriage kind of changed after my husband developed an illness....which is absolutely fine now but at the time he lost his job which was horrible but i stepped up...paid the mortgage...got 20k in debt to keep us going,gave up my own life to support his and all was well....then he got a job,or should i say i got it for him and had to work late evenings...i spent a lot of time on my own...and at weekends he preferred to be with his friends even tho they spoke badly about me and hurt my feelings.....i became ill twice quite badly and had no support in any way....we have had 3 conversations about the state of things and each time he cried and insisted he wanted the marriage to continue and i agreed that we both need to try...not just one person anymore....he dident want children so that was another thing i gave up for him...nothing has changed at all and when anything seems to happen to me,for instance theres a chance i might lose my business he never shows any worry or concern....when things were bad for him i dident eat or hardly slept with the worry for him...just a shame it hasent worked both ways


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## thegreenfairy (Jan 2, 2014)

also sorry we been married 6 years,together 12...i was 18 when we got together and he was 32...things were great and he totally doted on me...spoiled me in every way and even when we got married he made me feel happy and safe and contented....hes never been the passionate sort but he was quite soft hearted and good natured....and now theres money gifts that have been kept from me when ive been in tears because i havent had the money to fill my car..


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## Arendt (Mar 25, 2013)

Have you considered making plans to leave him? There are women here who could tell you what you need to do and think about.

He's not going to change. When you separate, he'll probably chase and cry, and beg and plead. He'll even make a few surface changes that won't last. You are still young. No need to spend your 30s being put down by this man and his friends. Because you are young and have no kids, you'll meet somebody more suitable.

Are you in IC? 

The book, Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie might be good for you to read.


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