# Caught with Cialis



## RedBubba (Nov 8, 2014)

I had a issue with some mild ED a while back. Really bothered me and it happened several times. Talked to my DR. about it and he gave me samples of Levitra. It worked but didnt make me feel so well. Told my wife about it after trying it a few times and she was upset. Said it was like making love to a chemical. I tried to explain it to her but she didnt buy it.

So I gave it up for a while and tried to find a supplement instead to help. GNC had a good one that did the trick but they discontinued it. A guy at work told me about Liquid Cialis from a research company on line. I tried and it worked great. My wife found out about it and said it was like making love to frankenstien. She said it was a steroid. Cause she looked it up on the net and many body builders use it and it says on the bottle not for human consumption. Now Im in the dog house. She doesnt understand and doesnt think I need it. I told her I dont want to disappoint her and how embarressing it is but she still thinks it is creepy.

Dont know how to handle this.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

where to even start with this, beyond asking your wife to get a new attitude?!

firstly, millions of men suffer from chronic ED, millions of others, I would even hazard the vast majority of men have occasional bouts of ED. You'd be surprised, go on a generic ED forum and there's lots of even young men (20's) looking for answers.

The Darn things don't always work on command!!!!

Hence, millions of men use supplements and the popular drugs (viagra, cialis, levitra, et) are a Godsend to millions of couple who can as a result have a fulfilling sex life which is at the heart of a marriage.

Next time she gets a headache or uses other drugs for whatever reason you can say_____________ (never mind, you get the point).


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Your wife is talking from pure emotion and a total lack of understanding.

1. She needs to fully comprehend how much you desire her. This is evidently missing in her understanding. This is on you. Being able to produce a boner for her cannot be the only way she knows you desire her, so get to work on using your words and not just your actions. (Don't EVEN try to tell us how you say nice things all the time, it doesn't matter because obviously she has come to see your boner as THE definitive proof of desire, and that's on you!)

2. She need to understand sexuality better and the mechanics of an erection. She needs to understand all the possible causes of ED, medically, and she needs to understand the psychological causes of ED. You must explain to her how a lack of confidence in getting an erection can effect the erection and this is a snowballing effect. The more you worry about your penis working, the less likely it will work. And she needs to understand this worrying effect has ZERO to do with your desire for her. This is on you to educate her.

Lastly, stop buying this crap off the internet! There is a reason the FDA does its job and that is to protect consumers from harmful substances. Get a real rx for Cialis.


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## AlphaTrophyHusband (Nov 25, 2014)

RedBubba said:


> I had a issue with some mild ED a while back. Really bothered me and it happened several times. Talked to my DR. about it and he gave me samples of Levitra. It worked but didnt make me feel so well. Told my wife about it after trying it a few times and she was upset. Said it was like making love to a chemical. I tried to explain it to her but she didnt buy it.
> 
> So I gave it up for a while and tried to find a supplement instead to help. GNC had a good one that did the trick but they discontinued it. A guy at work told me about Liquid Cialis from a research company on line. I tried and it worked great. My wife found out about it and said it was like making love to frankenstien. She said it was a steroid. Cause she looked it up on the net and many body builders use it and it says on the bottle not for human consumption. Now Im in the dog house. She doesnt understand and doesnt think I need it. I told her I dont want to disappoint her and how embarressing it is but she still thinks it is creepy.
> 
> Dont know how to handle this.


Well buddy!

I'd do the research to figuring how to use the ED med to bridge the gap, IE so that you don't need it!

You may have to hide them if she's going to get so mad if your confidence needs that extra assistance.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Your wife is talking from pure emotion and a total lack of understanding.
> 
> *1. She needs to fully comprehend how much you desire her. This is evidently missing in her understanding. This is on you. Being able to produce a boner for her cannot be the only way she knows you desire her, so get to work on using your words and not just your actions. (Don't EVEN try to tell us how you say nice things all the time, it doesn't matter because obviously she has come to see your boner as THE definitive proof of desire, and that's on you!)*
> 
> ...


I do disagree with this in large part. Regardless of words and other actions as a show of desire and love, the lack of erection for many women will call into question everything else, and that is on her if she fails to accept it.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I suppose she never needs lube, and is always wet for you - and always will be? And she's always in the mood and never uses alcohol to help? Of course vibrators would be totally frankend!ckish, so I suppose she never uses one.


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## AlphaTrophyHusband (Nov 25, 2014)

I was just curious, is she always ready to go so you can bang her or get sex action when you want or is there something always in the way, rejections, schedules, etc?

I find that when I can get it when I want the penis erects very easily and strongly, I simply get the desire and go do it.

However when it's alot of rules, conditions, stress, timing of it and it gets delayed, rejection, my mind kinda gets trained where I don't want it as much and the penis will not erect easily and not very strongly.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> I suppose she never needs lube, and is always wet for you - and always will be? And she's always in the mood and never uses alcohol to help? Of course vibrators would be totally frankend!ckish, so I suppose she never uses one.


And this is starting to get to the root of the issue...sexual stereotypes. It is readily accepted that women need more warm up time, may not always be wet, need the extra stimulation...whereas men are always horny, and get hard with a shift in the breeze.

Many of the women here at TAM being the exception, I would bet that most women, or men for that matter, have no clue about what Viagra and other ED drugs actually do beyond them being "hard-on" pills. The guy takes it and gets hard, what else is there to know? The fact that the base attraction, and receptiveness to arousal have to be there, else the drugs won't do a damn thing is lost in the mix.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I'm all for using the meds if you need them, but ordering them off the internet?! 

Many of those companies are bogus and the meds are fake. Who knows what's in them, especially if it says "not for human consumption"...

Most of them are produced overseas and contain mercury, lead, or worse.

Get the real deal from your doc...

P.S. I think your wife is being very unreasonable.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> I'm all for using the meds if you need them, but ordering them off the internet?!
> 
> Many of those companies are bogus and the meds are fake. Who knows what's in them, especially if it says "not for human consumption"...
> 
> ...


I am not sure if unreasonable is the correct term. I think she is reacting purely on emotion that is likely rooted in ignorance of what the issue actually is, and what the drug actually does.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

EVERY erection any man has ever had has been a result of a chemical reaction that takes place in his body.

Basically the body makes NO (nitrous oxide) which causes the muscles around the blood supply to the penis to relax and to allow more blood to flow into the penis. 

Here is a quote from another source...

*"How does Cialis work?

Cialis does not cause a man to be sexually aroused. Cialis will only be effective if a man is mentally sexually aroused. To understand how Cialis works you need to understand the mechanics of how a man gets an erection. When a man is sexually stimulated, the nervous system in the erectile tissue of your penis releases nitric oxide (NO). The nitric oxide stimulates an enzyme that produces a 'messenger' called cyclic guanosine monophosphate (cGMP). The cGMP relaxes the smooth muscle cells. One result of this is that the arteries in the penis dilate and the blood can flow into the penis more easily. Another result is that the erectile tissue itself fills with blood. Both of these processes result in an erection. Cialis works by maintaining the level of cGMP in the smooth muscle cells. If you are not mentally sexually aroused, your brain will not stimulate the release of any nitric oxide and you will not produce increased levels of cGMP."*

Note that the man has to be SEXUALLY AROUSED...

If he is not aroused Cialis is not going to work.

But EVERY erection is a chemical process.

There is nothing FRANKENSTEIN about it. 
Even arousal is stimulated by testosterone. Hell, almost everything that happens in our body is a result of or influenced by a chemical reaction. Even ROMANTIC feelings are a result of chemical reactions. In essence we are all walking Frankensteins.

As we age our bodies don't respond as well to these chemical processes. This is in fact why we age and why we eventually die.

Cialis is just helping your body do what it used to do better. 

And cialis is not a steroid.

The way to handle this is to relax and try to learn as much as you both can learn about this.

There are other more natural choices that might help you. There is a book called "The Hardness Factor" by Dr. Steven Lamm that has a lot of good info. If you want good sexual health then you should try this book.

I understand what your wife is feeling, but if she is smart she will recognize that maybe she does not know enough about this.

I encourage you and her to get more information.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Your wife is talking from pure emotion and a total lack of understanding.
> 
> 1. She needs to fully comprehend how much you desire her. This is evidently missing in her understanding. This is on you. Being able to produce a boner for her cannot be the only way she knows you desire her, so get to work on using your words and not just your actions. (Don't EVEN try to tell us how you say nice things all the time, it doesn't matter because obviously she has come to see your boner as THE definitive proof of desire, and that's on you!)
> 
> ...


It's on OP too make her feel his desire while she's calling him a defective roid monster? Smh

His wife is being beyond disrespectful imo.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

I wanted to follow up on the idea that Cialis might be a steroid.

I can see that the "liquid" cialis is very popular on body building sites, and seeing as how steroids are mentioned every other post I can see where someone might think that makes Cialis a steroid. But these body builders are only talking about using Cialis to help them get erections, not bigger muscles, and like most body builders they want to mess with what supplements they are taking and a "liquid" cialis might work better.

But I am pretty confident it is not a STEROID.

p.s. Not sure what your wife is looking at because if Cialis is not fit for human consumption then my doctor should not have given me any free samples...


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

RedBubba--you should not feel like you've been "caught" with anything. You've done nothing beyond trying to find a way to improve intimacy with your wife.

You've done nothing wrong here. Nothing.

My wife's said a few hurtful things to me in the past, but if she ever called me a Frankenstein, there would be some serious fireworks.


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

Damn...Cialis is not a steroid at all. Body builders use cialis because some of the body building compounds are very suppressive to testosterone and cause ED problems.

The "not for human comsumption" is how it is justified as a research compound. The stuff from reputable research companies are quite good. Some will even provide Mass Spec reports to show how pure their stuff is. PM me and I can get you names of two very good research companies to use.

Your wife needs education and to stop listening to media reports that don't have a clue.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

bbdad said:


> Damn...Cialis is not a steroid at all. Body builders use cialis because some of the body building compounds are very suppressive to testosterone and cause ED problems.
> 
> The "not for human comsumption" is how it is justified as a research compound. The stuff from reputable research companies are quite good. Some will even provide Mass Spec reports to show how pure their stuff is. PM me and I can get you names of two very good research companies to use.
> 
> Your wife needs education and to stop listening to media reports that don't have a clue.


from charles atlas himself. that settles that as far as i'm concerned.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Ignore her need for reassurance at your peril. BTDT!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Ignore her need for reassurance at your peril. BTDT!


Educating her on the facts in a kind gentle manner IS reassurance. It is up to her to feel reassured or not.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Reassurance? In the face of name-calling? There's a time and a place for reassurance, and it's not while your wife is kicking you in the balls.


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## RedBubba (Nov 8, 2014)

I do more than say nice things. I like to express a lot of hugs, kisses along with how I find her sexy and so on. My wife had a father who was a monster with most all his daughters. So I have to tred lightly. I reassure her the best I know how but she rejects alot of it.

My DR just felt I needed a confidence boost. So he gave me sample Levitra. The stuff I got on the net was suppose to have the same ingredients as Cialis. This was the main problem she had, the stuff from the internet and getting wrong info about it.

I tried to educate her but she keep saying do I think she is retarded and didnt understand what she read. So I have to think of another approach.

I was using this stuff to much and needed to see what was mental and what was physical. It was just great not to worry about it. Now I dont know how I am going to do and I dont believe she is going to be to supportive anytime soon. 

As far as the issue of us getting together it does have to be planned carefully and usually is late at night when the family is asleep. Small house and all dont help much. 


If only I hadn't left that bottle out last night.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

"This was the main problem she had, the stuff from the internet and getting wrong info about it." RedBubba

well if her main problem is because it's internet junk and she thinks it's steroids then the problem maybe isn't as bad as I was thinking before. It sounded like she was dead set against ANY aids, legit or not.

Could you clarify for us? If she's just hung up on the internet stuff, why not use the 'real' thing from a sawbones?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Or maybe you can even have the sawbones explain it to her by email or otherwise that this stuff is NOT steroids!


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## RedBubba (Nov 8, 2014)

She really don't care for the script stuff either like I said about the Levitra. But like AP said she really thought buying this stuff from the Internet is stupid and I was doing it without her knowledge.

We talked a bit more about it tonight and she said she was mainly grossed out by the steroid forums where they were talking about this liquid cialis. She still thinks it is a steroid but I told her I could show her it wasn't but she said she didn't care.

She wants me to try and eat right and get healthier to help with my issue and stop worrying about it. So it sounds like she is willing to work with me on it and if all else fails I can stress I need some help.


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## RedBubba (Nov 8, 2014)

By the way. You TAM folks have really great feedback and I really appreciate it. I really have a hard time sorting some of this stuff out in my head and this is a great outlet here at TAM.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Red,

I'm wondering how old you are and what else you are dealing with physically.

Stress and working too much can also be very hard on your hard on. (I didn't really mean to say that - )


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

RedBubba, your wife's concerns about ordering meds on the internet are valid. The way she speaks to you about them are not. "Do you think I'm retarded", etc...

Does she speak to you this way about other things?


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## Hammond_B3 (Oct 31, 2014)

I do not get your wife's attitude at all. My wife is exceptionally HD and I now suffer from ED. I take Cialis daily mostly to keep up with her. Yes, I have the desire but as they say, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak". She knows that I take Cialis mostly for her and greatly appreciates me for it. There are times in our lives when we need help from medication.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Does she speak to you this way about other things?


I, too, am concerned.

But from your other thread and your other posts I think this might be the dynamic in your relationship. You are not going to change her. You will have to change yourself.

And I think you should try. Being a little more Alpha with her will help your relationship and it might even help your johnson.


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## RedBubba (Nov 8, 2014)

I am 53 sjim. I do have a mild thyroid problem. I bring home stress from the job occasionally. We will be married 24 yrs in December. So no I can't change her. We normally get along well Fuzzy but if she believes she is right in something she will defend it when challenged. But in this I know my stuff so she is wrong. She is usually right about stuff 99% of the time. She is very strong minded and I am a bit insecure about myself.

Hammond I believe we will have to go the whole route before she is convinced of my need for help. I need to know for sure myself also. My wife is not high drive but she never rejects me unless three is an issue between us. So I guess she is medium drive.

SJim when I am a little more Alpha with her she does seem to appreciate it more. She gets annoyed when I am to passive so I need to work on this more in a nice way.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

53 also. No health problems.

That book I mentioned has a lot of good info about diet and exercise.

There are also natural supplements that are for the body in general but benefit the sex drive and mechanics.

You can be Alpha and still be kind. In fact, as you have noted, that is what she wants. It makes a woman feel good to know that her man is strong and capable. I don't buy the weak husband, strong wife thing that the media tries to sell us... (but that is a whole 'nother thread)

The best thing you are doing right now is being engaged, and I mean here at TAM. You respond to posts. Nothing more frustrating than an OP who disappears.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Reassurance? In the face of name-calling? There's a time and a place for reassurance, and it's not while your wife is kicking you in the balls.


Yes, reassurance on several fronts.

1. That he's not medicating a problem that is best treated by diet and exercise. She knows him a hell of a lot better than we do and if she suggested he try diet and exercise first, my guess is OP could probably benefit by getting in shape and she KNOWS this.



ReBubba said:


> She wants me to try and eat right and get healthier to help with my issue and stop worrying about it. So it sounds like she is willing to work with me on it and if all else fails I can stress I need some help.


2. Ensuring that he is not harming himself by buying junk off the internet.

3. Reassuring that his ED has nothing to do with his desire for her.



RedBubba said:


> I do more than say nice things. I like to express a lot of hugs, kisses along with how I find her sexy and so on.


Now how did I know he was going to say that he does say lovely things to her? Because it has been my direct experience with my own husband that he thinks he is complimenting me when actually he is just being polite. And no I won't explain this more because it will end up a thread Jack and because this is no longer an issue in my marriage.

I see nothing in OP's comments that resemble kicking him in the balls.



> Said it was like making love to a chemical.





> said it was like making love to frankenstien.





> tried to educate her but she keep saying do I think she is retarded and didnt understand what she read.


RedBubba, I neglected to pat you on the back for taking care of this issue right from the get go instead of hiding it and pretending you don't actually want sex or ignoring the fact that you sometimes have erection difficulty. That is fantastic! I've seen many a thread here from women who's husbands have ED but refuse to do anything about it due to embarrassment. So well done on that!

However, it would have been best to talk with your wife about it, both of you sharing your fears and concerns together, and both of your growing your understanding of EDT and the various treatments together.

I would be livid if I found out my husband purchased Cialis or the like over the Internet!


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## RedBubba (Nov 8, 2014)

Thx SJim. My local library has that book.

Anon Pink, Not sure what yur saying about the reassurance thing and what I was doing and saying to my wife was somehow wrong. And I know reassurance is more than that. Can you give me the post where you get into that more so I can see where you are coming from?

And Happy Thanksgiving!


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