# Scared Over Wife’s Anger



## FlyBoyJ (Mar 13, 2018)

So I’m at a loss about what is happening with my wife. We’ve been married a year, together for eight. A few weeks ago she broke her finger and wasn’t put in a splint she’s supposed to wear 24/7 for 6-8 weeks. She’s very stubborn and keeps taking it off. Of course every time she has it off she moves her broken finger or hits it on something and winces in pain. I keep telling her she needs to keep it on and wear it all the time. I’m not trying to be a nag but just trying to make sure when heals properly. So yesterday she has it off yet again and when I say to her “honey you really shouldn’t be taking off your splint”, she explodes. She started going off like a crazy person and saying I only wanted her to wear it because it was a turn on for me. I explained I only cared and wanted her to follow doctor’s orders and heal. It’s not the first irrational explosion for her either. I’m honestly at a loss.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

*Re: Scared Over Wife’s Anger*



FlyBoyJ said:


> She started going off like a crazy person and saying I only wanted her to wear it because it was a turn on for me.


What makes her say that?



FlyBoyJ said:


> It’s not the first irrational explosion for her either. I’m honestly at a loss.


What are some other examples of herirrational explosions?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

You said it once, that shows concern. She's an adult woman that makes her own choices. Don't be her dad. 

BTW, once the yelling starts the conversation is over. Period. 

Anything else? Sounds like there must be...


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Weird that she'd say it' a turn on for you. Is it? Personally, I would stop nagging her. If she wants to take her splint off, that's her choice. It will just take longer for it to heal, and as long as she's okay with that, there's not really a need for you to worry about it.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Tell her that Darwinism is alive and well, and that when she demonstrates herself unsuitable as a mate, it's actually the opposite of a turn-on.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Then stop nagging her like her father.

She's a big girl who can decide if she wants to wear her splint.


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## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

Bat **** Crazy never gets better. (Unlike a properly splinted finger.)

Look into the future, if she's like this now...what comes next?

Remember Lorena Bobbitt? (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_and_Lorena_Bobbitt)

If you see her eyeing things with sharp edges, be afraid...be very afraid.

Divorce is cheaper, and less painful, than reconstructive surgery.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Before the pain, before the accident, before the splint...

Where did she put that finger, what does/did she use if for?

Just curious. Just 'ein bisschen' prurient.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Scared Over Wife’s Anger*



lifeistooshort said:


> Then stop nagging her like her father.
> 
> She's a big girl who can decide if she wants to wear her splint.


:iagree:

One of the lessons of marriage I had to learn is that sometimes my wife wants advice and sometimes she just wants empathy and emotional support. 

We are not the parent of our spouse, they get to make stupid decisions, just as our teenage children do. As long as it isn't life threatening, you ultimately need to let them live their life.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I reconsidered my last post.

She thinks you get off on her being in pain, seeing the splint reminds you of her condition. 
Nonsense, but she apparently hates being babied. 

Hates being crippled, even slightly so.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

You are not her parent, stop telling her what to do. It’s her own ignorance for not following what the doctor tells her to do.

That being said, she flipped off the deep end for a stupid reason. Hope this is a one and done behavior!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

*Re: Scared Over Wife’s Anger*



Young at Heart said:


> :iagree:
> 
> One of the lessons of marriage I had to learn is that sometimes my wife wants advice and sometimes she just wants empathy and emotional support.
> 
> We are not the parent of our spouse, they get to make stupid decisions, just as our teenage children do. As long as it isn't life threatening, you ultimately need to let them live their life.


I broke my hand once and cut the cast off three weeks early because I didn't like it. 

I'm trying to imagine my reaction if my then husband had nagged me about it. 

I'm thinking not good.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

That wasn't irrational. It was warranted because she didn't marry her father or her doctor. But I also can't help thinking there was something you said at some point to make her think you do or might think there's something sexy about it. Either you said it to her about her or said it about someone else. If you were like watching TV and mentioned that you like some woman in a finger splint or a leg cast or whatever. She didn't come up with that out of the blue. She had a reason to think it.


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## musiclover (Apr 26, 2017)

How many times have you told her to put the splint on? Stop telling her, she's an adult.. you tell her once and that's it. She wants to keep hurting her finger let her.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Would you have told a coworker? What about your tone of voice with your super at work if it was him doing the same thing?

What makes you think you should be bossing her around even that first time? 

I do boss my wife around, but I am very aware how it works. And how it sounds. And it’s always very calculated when I do it.

It does not sound like you two have that sort of relationship.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

*Re: Scared Over Wife’s Anger*

If my wife broke a finger and removed the splint, I might say something about it once, maaaaaaaybe twice. Other than that, she's a big girl, and if she bangs it on something and it hurts because she's not wearing that splint, I won't be falling over myself to run to her aid. To the extent that you (presumably) don't enjoy it when she nags you, she pretty obviously doesn't like it when you nag at her.


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## FlyBoyJ (Mar 13, 2018)

I guess I was looking at it as knowing she's very stubborn and just trying to encourage her to do the right thing. I likened it to encouraging her to stick to her diet as she always asks me to do. It wasn't trying to be controlling or be her parent, it was because I care deeply for her well-being and don't want to see her with permanent problems simply for being stubborn.

I always acted out of caring, but I guess from the reactions to my post, it could be perceived as being bossy. =(


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

FlyBoyJ said:


> I guess I was looking at it as knowing she's very stubborn and just trying to encourage her to do the right thing. I likened it to encouraging her to stick to her diet as she always asks me to do. It wasn't trying to be controlling or be her parent, it was because I care deeply for her well-being and don't want to see her with permanent problems simply for being stubborn.
> 
> I always acted out of caring, but I guess from the reactions to my post, it could be perceived as being bossy. =(


No wonder she snapped. You are pestering her about what she eats and the splint. I would evisarate you. I believe you are coming from a place of caring, but stop. I can’t speak for your wife, but if I ask my husband to help me stick to a diet, I mean don’t suggest we go get fried chicken for dinner or bring home ice cream, not moniter and comment on everything that I eat. But how would he know that? He wouldn’t. And the truth is I may have actually wanted him to moniter/comment until it became a reality and said **** that. That is the fun of human interaction and marriage. 

You evaded the questions on why your wife would say it is a turn on for you for her to have the splint on. That is an odd and specific thing for her to say. My guess, without having anything to base this on, is that she feels hen pecked by you - about the splint, about food. And she feels you get off on controlling her, not the splint itself (which is way weird). 

She is a grown-ass woman. Stop suggesting. 

Does she have a mom? If so, she has two people telling her that she is doing everything wrong. Stop it! I am very stubborn - but I get there.


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