# Couples splitting at social events



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

DH and I noticed at a social event recently most of the other couples we knew split from each other practically the entire night. I didn't see one couple hugging or kissing either. Now I understand public displays of affection aren't everyone's cup of tea, but some of them hardly said one word to each other, always off talking to other people, milling in different groups.

I asked my mother if she thought this a little strange and she said she thought it very normal, that you see your partner all the time, why would you want to hang out with them while you are at a social event.

I like DH being near me for a majority of the time. Maybe he's like a big security blanket for me. Maybe everyone else feels more secure in the big wide world than I do I'm starting to think.


----------



## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

More normal I would think would be for couples to split and reconnect several times throughout the evening.


----------



## ExiledBayStater (Feb 16, 2013)

It depends on the event.

If there are mutual friends there, it seems natural to split.

If I'm there for her benefit and don't really want to be there, I expect her to keep me company. If I am dragging her somewhere, she can expect me to keep her company.


----------



## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Yea. Don't like it when my wife goes around talking to other people, but I'm getting over it. You see I'm very insecure and needy, but I'm working on it.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

If we go to a function where I don't know anyone else then I like for him to stay with me until I get into a conversation with new people. Apart from that we tend to go and chat to others, reconnect at times and then off again. 
Personally the idea when out socialising is to be talking to other people that you don't see often. I know my partner is there, we steal a smile across the room, we reconnect and have a kiss and cuddle then we socialise with others again.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

breeze said:


> I asked my mother if she thought this a little strange and she said she thought it very normal, that you see your partner all the time, why would you want to hang out with them while you are at a social event.


In the words of Chris Rock ''Stop telling me the same sh!t over and over again! Why don't you go out and get kidnapped, have some new sh!t happen to you!''

Splitting at social events gives us something new to talk about on the way home lol.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

It depends on the social event though. Party with friends... where we know the majority of the people, we'll split but still pay attention to one another through glances, getting each other food/drink that kind of thing. 

Work functions we'd tend to stay together. If it's an occasion where I don't know anyone, I'll stay near him to begin with but end up mingling somewhat after introductions are made. If it's an occasion whereby he doesn't know anyone, he's usually quicker to get in the mix than me. Then again, he's a great conversationalist. And it does make for conversation between us on the way home.


----------



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

It's been a while since we've been to larger social gatherings. Now DH and I have moved back to where I grew up, we're trying to participate in things organised by the school the kids are going to etc. Good way to get to meet new people.

Previously we lived in a small town, and generally had small gatherings where we all just hung out together, no point in breaking off into smaller groups when there's so few people to start with.

Hopefully it won't take too long to make some good friendships where I can feel comfortable without DH around, but it takes me a very long time to develop friendships.

I sort of felt out of place amongst all these people who were happy to spend the entire night doing their own thing, but I imagine I'll get used to it!


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

When we go out to social functions together , we tend to stick with each other most of the times especially if the crowd is not a " familiar "crowd.
If it's somewhere where everyone knows us we might separate for a little but always reconnect during the function.
Sometimes if I meet someone and we begin to chat, I almost always introduce them to my wife because she isn't too far in the crowd and vice versa. This applies whether that person is male or female.

I think it's the respectful thing to do.

If we attend a function together , it's because we want to be seen together , and enjoy the evening together , with other people.

There are lots of other times when either one of us go out solo or with our separate groups of friends , and still have fun anyway.

But that's just how we do it.
Never had a problem with that arrangement .


----------



## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Never thought about this before, I guess we usually end up separate. As the party moves along we end up crossing paths several times and we always leave together....


----------



## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

I gave a party a while back at which couples were all seated separately. It meant that people had to mix and you didn't get the little cliques hanging together in different corners. Worked a treat and everyone said they really enjoyed it, though some had been taken aback at first.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

If we have a party at our house...(or a friends house -depending)....we may be separated throughout the evening running into each other.....till things wind down with lessor people....his catching up with guy friends while I congregate with the women somewhere... pretty typical..

But out & about....if we don't know the people real well...work related events, a wedding...anything like this.. we are right there with each generally...if one of us was gone too long...we'd go looking to find who they ran into at the cookie table or something.....



> *Breeze said:** I like DH being near me for a majority of the time. Maybe he's like a big security blanket for me.*


I like that.. I feel this way too. ..our husband's by our side is our comfort...nothing wrong with that.


----------



## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

I think it should be a healthy balance of both, with each other and apart from each other. What exactly is a healthy balance? I'm not sure exactly, but it's not a good idea to be apart the entire evening. A lot of bonding can occur with the opposite sex during the course of an evening. 

Of course, being together the entire party can be smothering, and might get somewhat stale. It's one of those situations where you should use your best judgment, but just don't leave your spouse out there untethered too long.


----------



## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

The the OP, sounds like a very secure couple.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It depends on the event. If we both know people, we circulate independently. If one of us doesn't, we stick together. In the event that we're circulating independently, we would gravitate back to one another every so often, to 'compare notes' and a hand squeeze.


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

My parents nearly always split up at parties. That's just how they are. People my dad likes to talk to aren't my mom's cup of tea and vice versa. 

My husband and I tend to circulate independently if it's family or friends we know well. We have subtle secret signals if we want the other person to rescue us from someone. If it's a party with people we don't know well, we tend to be a unit. I like having him by my side at some parties just because he'd be the most interesting person there for me to talk to.


----------



## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

breeze said:


> DH and I noticed at a social event recently most of the other couples we knew split from each other practically the entire night. I didn't see one couple hugging or kissing either. Now I understand public displays of affection aren't everyone's cup of tea, but some of them hardly said one word to each other, always off talking to other people, milling in different groups.
> 
> I asked my mother if she thought this a little strange and she said she thought it very normal, that you see your partner all the time, why would you want to hang out with them while you are at a social event.
> 
> I like DH being near me for a majority of the time. Maybe he's like a big security blanket for me. Maybe everyone else feels more secure in the big wide world than I do I'm starting to think.


Whatever makes you and your husband happy.  It sounds like you understand that all couples are different.

My husband and I tend to split up at parties because we don't need to be hanging off each other all the time. I like to mingle when we go out and I feel secure without my husband beside me. What can I say? I was a very independent person before marriage and I like to maintain some of that now that I am a wife.


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

It's funny. When we go to parties and such, we tend to be more affectionate, not less.

Since so much of our time is spent apart, we make the most of together time. At least that is how I look at it. Maybe my wife is insecure with strangers and sticks around me.

Different things happen to us all the time because of my work so we ALWAYS have stuff to talk about together.

Going to socialize this month. We'll see what happens.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I love to mingle - him not so much. We tend to only socialize with people that we know. Even at weddings, it's always a friend of the family or a family member so there's a group of people that he knows so he'll stay with them. I'm pretty extroverted so I'll go out of the scope of our clique and talk to complete strangers throughout the night but I always come back. He usually only socializes with the people he directly knows. 

Even when we're having a smaller party up at the cottage or at his parents' house with friends and family members, he's always in and out of the group. I think he's a little more introverted and needs short breaks at social events to be alone and decompress so he'll go fish off the dock when people are by the fire and then come back, go tinker with tools or do a quick repair, cook something and then come back and tell stories. He's very social and can be talkative but it's in bursts lol.

We always find our way back to each other alone several times throughout the evening just to check in with how we're doing/talk about something that just happened etc. but I don't stay by his side all night long.


----------



## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

If the social event is with a group of people that you both know well then I think it is natural for couples to each spend time with those within the group that they have the closest friendships.

As an example we went to a BBQ / Garden party on Saturday hosted by long term friends, about 40 people (from babies to their 80's) all of whom know each other. As families and couples arrived they soon split into groups, half a dozen guys at the grill (listening to the football), a group of mums with under 5's in the summer house (where the little kid’s toys were), older kid’s in the play area, teenage kids in the den on the games machine, the "oldies" sitting on the patio enjoying the sunshine. 

People did move between groups and we all had a lovely afternoon but I spent little time with my wife. All Good.


----------

