# Wife never initiates



## Fight4IT (Aug 9, 2012)

Hello All 
I am a married man of 8 yrs. Its a bit strange right now (i have a post in the infidelity section you may want to read..please) but I still am in Love with my wife. I find her attractive even though she doesnt think she is. I still want to have sex/make love to her.
We have 2 kids and i understand female hormones change after that but our sex life was great before. Now the only way we do it is if I initiate it. Usually after a back-rub and shes half asleep. She wakes up and seems to enjoy it but she never makes the first move. I seriously think if I went monk and didnt try anything we'd go months. Whats the problem. 

She always gets off, I see to that. I am very good with my hands and mouth and she usually O's multiple times be for I do. Another thing is she never performs oral on me. The last time she did I pretty much put it in her mouth and it only lasted about 2 min if that before she stopped. I want her to want to return the favor because I love giving her oral.. My favorite thing to do to/for her. 

The only other strange thing about our current sex life is she's very vocal about what she wants during but is almost embarrassed to talk about stuff outside of the bed. I bought her a toy and she hated the idea when i gave it to her.. but when I use it she really likes it. Maybe I just need to be more vocal about what i want in bed.. I just afraid if I stop in bed and tell her its her turn to please me it will be over and I be left hanging so to speak. 

Im 33 and she's 35 so its not like we're past our sexual prime.. I dont know..:scratchhead:


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## Fight4IT (Aug 9, 2012)

WOW ! nobody has anything to say. :scratchhead:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Fight4IT said:


> WOW ! nobody has anything to say. :scratchhead:


Well, what's your question? Countless threads have been started in here about wives not initiating sex, and husbands not being satisfied with their sex lives. And vice versa, for that matter. There's no "magic path" to fixing the problems. But you could start with the "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "Married Men's Sex Guide" threads in the men's forum.

Doesn't help that you started your thread in the middle of the night (US/Canada time)...

C


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Btw... You really should include a link to your thread in the infidelity forum in this thread. Odds are much better at improving your sex life if you can get her to reinvest emotionally in the marriage. If she's checking out because she's connecting with someone else (physically or emotionally), the best you'll get is guilty or "here's some sex, now go away" sex from her.

C


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

""here's some sex, now go away" sex from her."

Well I am getting that


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Your wife is getting her sexual needs met through her affairs and fliritng with men on the internet. She does not see you as sexual or need you to meet her sexual needs. Women's sexual needs don't revolve around orgasms. Her's revolve around secret flirting and men blowing smoke up her ass.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Hicks said:


> Your wife is getting her sexual needs met through her affairs and fliritng with men on the internet. She does not see you as sexual or need you to meet her sexual needs. Women's sexual needs don't revolve around orgasms. Her's revolve around secret flirting and men blowing smoke up her ass.


This.

You sound like you are married to my ex.

I always got her off, at least oncce, everytime, and I'd estimate about 95% of each sexual episode was solely about her. I couldn't even get a dry hand job or 69 from her when I'd go down on her and I'd HAVE to go down on her EVERY time.

It was because she was getting what she really wanted (smoke up her ass) from all these online men, some of which I think turned physical.

She didn't want sex, she wanted to be told that she's beautiful awesome, etc., just not by me. It meant more coming from random strangers.

I think the reason why waas because I was supposed to tell her that, so it didn't mean anything. To convince some random dude from the internet that she was hot though was like an acheivement.

You better get her to cut off the online crap or there's no winning this one.


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