# Women’s “house clothes”



## Girl_power

What do you think about your partners lounge wear? 

I have a friend that was complaining about the fact that he sees all these beautiful women dressed up to and from work, (he lives in a big city) and when he gets home he sees his beautiful wife.... in pajamas, with no makeup and hair pulled back and he feels... disappointed. 

For the record, his wife is a lawyer and dresses up nice. But when she is home, she instantly gets more comfortable. 

Is this a sort of bait and switch? Is this giving other people the best of you but not your partner? Or is this normal.


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## Blondilocks

deleted


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## Divinely Favored

Sometimes i felt all she was offering me was the left over crumbs. The other people were more important to her and she would bathe, perfume and dress up for coworkers and public. (Sales) But i was not important enough to do that for. 

There were times years ago that we would go to bed at night and she had not taken a bath (morning bather)so she would not let me go down on her. I wanted to say then get your azz in the shower! I would shower, shave and brush and she gave me the days scraps of her.


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## Girl_power

I would like to hear men’s opinions, as they may differ from ours.


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## Blondilocks

Girl_power said:


> I would like to hear men’s opinions, as they may differ from ours.


Ah, that's why you put it in the Men's Clubhouse. Got it.


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## As'laDain

Girl_power said:


> What do you think about your partners lounge wear?
> 
> I have a friend that was complaining about the fact that he sees all these beautiful women dressed up to and from work, (he lives in a big city) and when he gets home he sees his beautiful wife.... in pajamas, with no makeup and hair pulled back and he feels... disappointed.
> 
> For the record, his wife is a lawyer and dresses up nice. But when she is home, she instantly gets more comfortable.
> 
> Is this a sort of bait and switch? Is this giving other people the best of you but not your partner? Or is this normal.


I think he is just being picky. Then again, I don't like makeup and I think one of the sexiest outfits a woman can wear is a t shirt and panties. Maybe a pair of shorts if there are little ones running about. 

But even full pajama bottoms are still sexy to me... 

Maybe I just find my wife sexy because I love her? I don't know...


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## As'laDain

I'm very demisexual, so attraction has more to do with what is going on between my ears than what I see. 

That said, I still find my wife to be sexy as can be regardless of what she is wearing.


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## Annoyed_Hubby

Not disappointed. we both immediately get into comfy clothes as soon as we get home. If we’re only out for a bit we both will save our clothes to wear again plus the dressier clothes feel germ ridden so it makes practical sense to remove them. My wife is never sloppy though and actually always looks feminine and nice even when we’re home working. I’m super jealous though so I could see my blood pressure going up if she were dressed to kill and around men all day... thankfully my wife isn’t in sales... But still, I wouldn’t expect her to lounge/work around the house in her best stuff. This stuff is about making a good first impression and we’re way beyond first impressions. I sure do love the rare sexy dress up that she does just for me when we go out together. She’ll wear her bikini when it’s just us on our boat- no one else gets to see what I see... that’s enough for me.


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## ConanHub

I have never been bothered by Mrs C looking like dynamite while out doing anything with other people but she has also never put me secondary to anyone or anything.

I also enjoy her prancing around in pajamas or a t shirt and panties with her hair totally unrestrained and no one else gets that.😉


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## Diana7

Girl_power said:


> What do you think about your partners lounge wear?
> 
> I have a friend that was complaining about the fact that he sees all these beautiful women dressed up to and from work, (he lives in a big city) and when he gets home he sees his beautiful wife.... in pajamas, with no makeup and hair pulled back and he feels... disappointed.
> 
> For the record, his wife is a lawyer and dresses up nice. But when she is home, she instantly gets more comfortable.
> 
> Is this a sort of bait and switch? Is this giving other people the best of you but not your partner? Or is this normal.


Good grief, his wife has to dress up for work and when she is at home she wants be comfortable and relaxed. She wants to be herself. Just as he does probably as well. Or does he walk about in his three piece suit in the evenings and at weekends at home? I doubt it very much.
Not sure what is wrong with not wearing make up and having a pony tail? I think women look far more feminine and attractive without make up anyway and ponytails are cute.I know men who don't like make up either.
Definately not bait and switch. I am sure if he took her out somewhere nice she would dress differently if thats what he wants. Maybe he needs to take less notice of what other women wear and concentrate on his wife more.


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## minimalME




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## Blondilocks

minimalME said:


> View attachment 71561


mM, she doesn't want to hear from us girls because, you know, we're just _girls_.


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## Girl_power

Diana7 said:


> Good grief, his wife has to dress up for work and when she is at home she wants be comfortable and relaxed. She wants to be herself. Just as he does probably as well. Or does he walk about in his three piece suit in the evenings and at weekends at home? I doubt it.
> Not sure what is wrong with not wearing make up and having a pony tail? I think women look far more feminine and attractive without make up anyway and ponytails are cute.
> Definately not bait and switch. I am sure if he took her out somewhere nice she would dress differently.


I get what your saying. But personally I don’t want my partner to wear sweatpants and tshirts all day. Being comfortable is fine. But in a long term sexual relationship, I don’t think you should be TOO comfortable. 

I just find it weird to get dressed up, go to work, then come home and wash off your makeup and put on sweats right away. It’s almost kind of rude, or disrespectful or I don’t know...


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## minimalME

😂



Blondilocks said:


> mM, she doesn't want to hear from us girls because, you know, we're just _girls_.


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## Girl_power

I also think people can look good and not dressed up. But it still takes effort. 
Oversized sweats, no makeup, and a pony tail is... lazy no effort. It’s fine for bedtime, or getting ready for bed but not for hanging out at noon with your partner. Just my opinion. Everyone once in a while is fine.


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## ConanHub

Girl_power said:


> I also think people can look good and not dressed up. But it still takes effort.
> Oversized sweats, no makeup, and a pony tail is... lazy no effort. It’s fine for bedtime, or getting ready for bed but not for hanging out at noon with your partner. Just my opinion. Everyone once in a while is fine.


I get what you're saying.

We don't get into lounge mode every time we aren't working or out with others.

We try to look good for each other almost every day as well.


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## Girl_power

Blondilocks said:


> mM, she doesn't want to hear from us girls because, you know, we're just _girls_.


Hahaha. I think we all know what our opinion is about being comfortable in our home.


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## bobert

I don't see that as giving other people your best. It's just what is expected at work. She _could_ show up to work in pajamas, but she'd be fired, so that's not an option. Certain apparel is just as important as showing up on time. It's part of her job. When she gets home she wants to relax and be comfortable. If they have pets, she wouldn't want to get pet hair all over her nice clothes either. Unless the wife goes on dates looking like a slob, the husband needs to loosen up. If he doesn't get to see her dressed up enough, then he needs to start taking her out more. 

My wife (nurse) went to work in scrubs, no jewelry, minimal makeup, hair pulled back, comfy shoes, etc. When she came home she changed into leggings and a t-shirt. If I wanted to see her all dressed up I'd have to take her out. So does this guy. 

If this woman is changing into a boxy, unflattering t-shirt and flannel PJ pants with penguins or cats all over them, then yeah, she could at least find comfy clothes that flatter her body and aren't an eyesore. Women can be comfortable without looking like a mess.


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## Diana7

Girl_power said:


> I get what your saying. But personally I don’t want my partner to wear sweatpants and tshirts all day. Being comfortable is fine. But in a long term sexual relationship, I don’t think you should be TOO comfortable.
> 
> I just find it weird to get dressed up, go to work, then come home and wash off your makeup and put on sweats right away. It’s almost kind of rude, or disrespectful or I don’t know...


Do you wear your suit all weekend? All evening?


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## Diana7

Girl_power said:


> I also think people can look good and not dressed up. But it still takes effort.
> Oversized sweats, no makeup, and a pony tail is... lazy no effort. It’s fine for bedtime, or getting ready for bed but not for hanging out at noon with your partner. Just my opinion. Everyone once in a while is fine.


I dont wear sweats, and I never wear make up anyway. I am not sure oversized sweats were mentioned it was pyjama bottoms I think. Also it was after work and not at midday. I doubt she would wear PJ's all day at weekends.


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## Girl_power

Diana7 said:


> Do you wear your suit all weekend? All evening?


I’m a girl and I am a nurse.


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## Diana7

Girl_power said:


> I’m a girl and I am a nurse.


Sorry I was wanting to ask the men. The husbands who complain about their wives doing this.


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## Mr The Other

Girl_power said:


> What do you think about your partners lounge wear?
> 
> I have a friend that was complaining about the fact that he sees all these beautiful women dressed up to and from work, (he lives in a big city) and when he gets home he sees his beautiful wife.... in pajamas, with no makeup and hair pulled back and he feels... disappointed.
> 
> For the record, his wife is a lawyer and dresses up nice. But when she is home, she instantly gets more comfortable.
> 
> Is this a sort of bait and switch? Is this giving other people the best of you but not your partner? Or is this normal.


It seems like a nonsense complaint.
Women at work are typically great. In my field, they were in a mans world and tended to play by those roles. If they needed help, they would tyically ask you and be grateful. Your ego would be boosted. You would be cultivated as an ally.
If you were having a hard time, they might ask and sympathise. 
They will seem perfect. 
But, they do home too and give their man a hard time for not knowing the things that they forgot to tell him.

Equally, women will see all these charming men at work. Smart capable people in their element, then they come home to a man with stains on his undies. 

We should not compare work and home. Home is far, far better.


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## Mr The Other

Diana7 said:


> Sorry I was wanting to ask the men. The husbands who complain about their wives doing this.


This might be naive, but...it is men who are used to seeing women first thing in the morning. We see women in their natural state even more than vice versa (men rarely wearing makeup).
I would hope few men have an issue.


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## Married but Happy

We both dress for comfort at home, but not baggy sweats and such. Usually it's something with easy access, because, well, foreplay is fun and usually leads to more fun! If I want her in something sexier, she'll usually wear it if I pick it out - and vice versa.


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## ABHale

I love women in their real look.

The guy you talk about has some serious issues if that is what he is upset about.


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## ABHale

Girl_power said:


> I’m a girl and I am a nurse.


Thanks for what you do. I had a couple nurses work on me over the past month. You girls rock!!! And don’t have enough help.


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## ABHale

I think getting comfortable is normal. I wouldn’t call it a bait and switch.


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## Livvie

ABHale said:


> I think getting comfortable is normal. I wouldn’t call it a bait and switch.


Me too. Who stays dressed up in work clothes after they get home from work? Truly, no one I know. No one.

The bra is the first thing to go.


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## Andy1001

The first few times I met my wife she was always wearing tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt. To this day that is my favorite outfit on her. 
Unless she wears yoga pants and then all bets are off😜


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## frusdil

Livvie said:


> The bra is the first thing to go.


Damn straight! When the bra comes off, the day is O.V.E.R! Lol!

I wear nice things when I go out, hair done and makeup on, but when I get home I'll get changed, because we have dogs, and I like to cuddle them. i don't want dog hair and slobber on my good clothes. But my hair's still done and makeup's still on.

There are days when I'll just shower and not bother with hair and makeup, but it doesn't seem to bother my husband.


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## Andy1001

frusdil said:


> Damn straight! When the bra comes off, the day is O.V.E.R! Lol!
> 
> I wear nice things when I go out, hair done and makeup on, but when I get home I'll get changed, because we have dogs, and I like to cuddle them. i don't want dog hair and slobber on my good clothes. But my hair's still done and makeup's still on.
> 
> There are days when I'll just shower and not bother with hair and makeup, but it doesn't seem to bother my husband.


I have to agree with you, I don’t understand men who seem to need their wives or girlfriends to be done up to the nines or else they feel disrespected. My wife has worked in gyms all her life, is she supposed to well full makeup while she’s working?
And if she did who is she wearing it for?


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## Annoyed_Hubby

My wife’s comfy home attire is sexy in my opinion- soft shorts filled in the right places or a dressy t-shirt (maybe T-shirt isn’t the right word- not a men’s t-shirt) that is lower cut but barely cleavage revealing (despite my age I still get a silly thrill looking down her shirt).. so I don’t characterize her home attire as unflattering despite my wife believing that it is. It’s just all different “seasons” and I actually like them all. I’m probably too easy to please.

Of course, all I wear at home in the summer is athletic shorts and T-shirts. My wife seems happy when I’m behind on my laundry and the tighter shirts come out- so she isn’t complaining about my sloppiness at least.


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## Enigma32

Get a woman that looks hot when she doesn't have to paint on a bunch of makeup or wear specific outfits. Problem solved.


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## SpinyNorman

Echoing most of the men here who say it isn't a problem. I dislike perfume and most women look better w/o makeup.


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## Girl_power

I’m glad to hear men’s perspectives being so positive! I would have thought differently. Maybe I’m being negative but I think men on TAM are nicer then the general public. (Same for the women on here).

I think what bothered my friend was that his wife put lots of effort into her look for work, then as soon as she came home, hair is up, makeup is off, and she’s in pajamas. I think it’s more than changing into comfy clothes, I think it’s the effort that it takes her to do her makeup and do her hair etc. effort in my opinion reflects a sort of interest, and she put effort in to reverse her earlier effort kind of thing.


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## ABHale

Most women put in a lot of effort for work. I can really understand this with her being a lawyer. She has to look professional and squared away for her job. She has to look the part so to say.

My wife and the people she works with, mostly women, look forward to Friday. They dress casual on Fridays and during the summer when the students are not on campus.


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## Mr. Nail

Diana7 said:


> Sorry I was wanting to ask the men. The husbands who complain about their wives doing this.


Do I wear a suit on weekends. Well on sundays, I've been known to wear a suit. I usually don't wear a suit in the cabinet shop. I have been known to bring sawdust home. Mrs Nail claims to like the smell of man glitter. Lately on saturday morning, I pull on a pair of shorts sandals and sunscreen and take a kayak to a lake. I've never worn a suit and tie in a kayak. 
Mrs Nail has a work uniform. She doesn't wear it at home. She doesn't own sweats. Lots and lots of leggings. She always had good legs.


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## Enigma32

Girl_power said:


> I think what bothered my friend was that his wife put lots of effort into her look for work, then as soon as she came home, hair is up, makeup is off, and she’s in pajamas. I think it’s more than changing into comfy clothes, I think it’s the effort that it takes her to do her makeup and do her hair etc. effort in my opinion reflects a sort of interest, and she put effort in to reverse her earlier effort kind of thing.


I will say this much, some ladies really do need to put in the effort to look decent. Maybe this guy's wife is one of those women who only looks good dressed up with a ton of makeup on. It's also possible that she never puts in any effort to look decent for him, which is why he is starting to become resentful over how much effort she puts into looking good for work. My GF likes to hang around in just a pair of shorts and a t shirt, and she never wears makeup anyway, but I think she looks hot like this! She also has outfits she likes to wear just so she can look even better for me sometimes.


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## DownButNotOut

I wonder if your friend's complaint is really about her clothes/makeup. As they say, the toaster fight is never about the toaster.

Could he be using his complaint about her clothes as a stand in for other things? Like a general feeling of being taken for granted? Or feeling she is on autopilot in their relationship?

Because, I agree with several men here. Casual clothes can be pretty sexy.


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## Talker67

if there are no kids around, i am all for lacy lingerie and high heels as the PREFERRED garb


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## bobsmith

Man here, personally I enjoy when a woman dresses down! I think some women go to a level of "false advertising" in public but that is JMO. Been through 2 LTRs and cannot ever recall a time when I felt disappointed to see them. I never asked them to wear anything special but I do recall with my 1st ex, I mentioned that I LOVED her to be without a bra. I think she was in her own head about her breasts, but she didn't know I had a thing for them. 

My second ex usually wore very tight short shorts around the house. Nothing I like more. I recall having a talk with her because she was naturally stunning, and I actually liked her look less when she slathered stuff all over her face. Like her skin was near flawless, but she would put this cakey stuff all over it. She was a cosmetologist so knew how to get done up right, but I think it can go too far. 

I did get stories/questions from my 2nd ex if she was to my liking around the house because apparently her friends complained that their men wanted them very dolled up at all times. 

I told both of them, I don't fall in love with someone when dolled up for a night on the town. I fall in love with the woman in PJs when they first get out of bed. I think dudes that need fake nails, fake eye lashes, and troweled makeup to be attracted to them are falling for a fake image. I specifically look at women with less.


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## database2

Interesting post especially from a women. In my worst moments I do think it is a bait-and-switch, when my wife and I were dating she was immaculate and always dressing up beautifully. Now, she wears jeans and tshirt, puts her hair in a pony tail and doesn't wear makeup.
I don't need her to do it every day, but what makes me sad is that when she does put in the effort she is honestly the most stunning person. My jaw drops, and I'm instantly transported back to my 20s. When she is putting in no effort, I don't find her that attractive, and find myself getting bitter when I see those beautiful women out and about. And yes I have also noticed that when we go out, she will put makeup on for others but not for me.

I can see it from the perspective of she put in the huge effort when we dating as she was in a position of uncertaintly. If she suddenly stopped caring for her appearance, it would have pushed me away. When we got married, her position was now safe, so her putting in no effort was an expression of how safe and secure she is. So that's not quite a bait-and-switch, since that kind of assumes she was intending to trick this way. What upsets me the most is that her lack of effort is symptomatic of the way she views priorities. She knows how she looks is important to me (I use positive reinforcement, so when she is dressed nicely I make sure to compliment her), but she just doesn't care enough about what is important to me for her to do it. She'd rather put in zero effort, than the extra 30 mins it takes it look gorgeous. I don't really see it as laziness, but rather a kind of selfishness.

I've stopped my subtle strategy of trying to use the positive reinforcement hoping it'll stick, and merely ask her outright to put on a dress and put on some makeup for me on date-night. I don't think it's that much of an ask, it's one night a week. I'd rather she just do it because she cares about impressing me and making me happy, but ultimately it did occur to me that the effect is somewhat similar if I'm just fully explicit about it. Knowing nothing about makeup, it feels odd to say "please can you put some mascara on for me?" somewhat out of the blue. She agrees to do it.

I know I'm not perfect either, but I do think one of the main qualities that made me attractive to her when we were dating is basically consistent (e.g. I was high earning back then, and am still high earning now - my wife does not need to work).


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## Girl_power

I think that it’s impossible to look our best all the time. It’s too much pressure, and it isnt realistic. But I understand looks matter, especially in a LTR.

I think there is a happy medium. In my opinion sweat pants, hair up, and no makeup is not enough. And full blown dolled up is too much. I think we can put together comfy outfits that don’t look dumpy when we are hanging at home. And yes, sometimes no makeup is fine. Sometimes a little mascara is ok too.


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## Gomezaddams51

I see nothing wrong with a woman wearing baggy sweats and a frumpy loose t-shirt. When they are loose they are easier to get off. With no kids I think running around naked is about as relaxed as you can get. As long s she is still screwing your brains out, don't worry about it. If you want her dressed up, made a date and take her out somewhere fancy.


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## Girl_power

What I have read ... typically from Esther Perel... one of the difficulties with maintaining desire in a LTR is the lack of novelty. So I think monotony no matter how you slice it is not good. 

I’ve notice that my previous long term partners always noticed and I could tell liked when I did something new. Whether it be, a nice new outfit, or a different hairstyle, or even different underwear.


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## UndecidedinNY

If he wants his wife to dress nice, he can take her out for dates and I'm sure she won't wear her pajamas. Those other women? They ALL get into comfy clothes when they get home. No one wears work clothes at home while cleaning and taking care of their kids and watching TV.


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## database2

Girl_power, I think you're right about the novelty element.

UndecidedinNY, I've often wondered if marriages should be more transactional. I take you out on the town, in return I get to see you in your full "come hither" appearance. I read an account from a guy once who struck a deal with his wife that whenever he would do X,Y,Z chores in return he would receive sexual interaction. Both agreed and were happy it was a "fair trade". Seems kind of counter to the idealism of marriage, which we try to serve our other half, but I found his account fascinating. I do think a lot of marriage conflict comes from expectations being unmet.


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## Girl_power

database2 said:


> Girl_power, I think you're right about the novelty element.
> 
> UndecidedinNY, I've often wondered if marriages should be more transactional. I take you out on the town, in return I get to see you in your full "come hither" appearance. I read an account from a guy once who struck a deal with his wife that whenever he would do X,Y,Z chores in return he would receive sexual interaction. Both agreed and were happy it was a "fair trade". Seems kind of counter to the idealism of marriage, which we try to serve our other half, but I found his account fascinating. I do think a lot of marriage conflict comes from expectations being unmet.


In my marriage we had a deal like that. It was I’ll make a point to fulfill you sexually and you make a point to fulfill me romantically. Although it didn’t work in my marriage, I still think this is a good thing to try to do.


I think the key is to have a sort of understanding without it being this over talked about thing, because that kills the sentiment. 

I also think that we need to lay out what is important to us. For me, feeling loved is always an issue. So how do I feel loved? And I list out a bunch of things so hopefully the guy can get a sense of who I am, and how I tick. And then the guy has their turn.

This sounds easy but for some reason hasn’t worked for me. I run into low effort guys to often.


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## Girl_power

And that’s where I was kind of getting at with this post. Although it is superficial, I do think it’s important to look nice for your partner, even when at home doing nothing. I don’t mean full out glam, but put together in comfy clothes. 

Little things show effort. And I don’t know about other people but effort makes me feel important and loved and like I am valued.


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## heartsbeating

Girl_power said:


> But I understand looks matter, especially in a LTR.


I feel better when I make an effort, but I think a loving LTR transcends the more superficial. I don’t mean that equates to not making an effort but ... well...


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## notmyjamie

I'm not a man but I can answer for my boyfriend. He loves me in my scrubs, like LOVES it. Unfortunately for him, I don't wear them home anymore due to Covid. He misses seeing me in them. 

He, himself, is all about comfort though so when he sees me hanging out, watching tv, cuddling or whatever he wants me to look comfortable. He will tell me to change into something comfortable if I'm in jeans for example. He doesn't care if it's pajama bottoms or yoga pants he just wants to relax and snuggle up and can't do that if he thinks I'm uncomfortable. When we go out however, he likes it if I dress up a little, wear a dress or skirt for example. To him it's the best of both worlds, comfy at home but still gets to see me dressed up. When I dress up to go out, he thinks of it as I'm dressing up for him, not for the people we'll see while we're out. 

As for makeup, I really don't know if he would prefer that I wear it because I never have around him. When I first started staying over his house he'd say "I need to get you a vanity or something so you have a place to get ready in the morning" and I kept saying I didn't need it. Finally after about the 5th time I said "I don't need it because I don't wear a lot of makeup!" and he stopped and thought about it and said "you're right...you get ready in the morning faster than any woman I've ever known" and he loves that. He was trained by his exwife to think all woman need tons of time and wear tons of makeup. I don't and he loves it. 

I guess the point is that not all men are the same. In the case of OP's friend, the point is that he needs to communicate his feelings to his wife. Ask her to wear yoga pants and a fitted top instead and to maybe leave the makeup on until bedtime. But, he also needs to realize that her work attire, makeup, hair, etc is all just her "on" for work. It's not the real her. He gets the real her and that's something special that nobody else gets. Maybe that different perspective would help. He should buy her some yoga pants or legging and tell her they're for her to be comfortable around the house.


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## JamesW1987

@JamesW1987 MODERATION NOTE:

This is an English language forum. Please use the English language on the forum.


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## EleGirl

JamesW1987 said:


> Я люблю свою дружину навіть у піжамі


Translated from Ukrainian - "I love my wife even in my pajamas"


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## heartsbeating

I’ll chime in again, that I wore makeup the other day (I’m a makeup kinda gal), and Batman commented that I looked pretty. And day before that, I wasn’t wearing makeup and he commented similarly and I know he likes when I’m without makeup too.

As for what he wears around the house, typically tshirts or casual button down shirt with sleeves rolled up and jeans. I’ve gotten him tshirts from RedBubble; different print designs or bands, or he wears Ben Sherman shirts. I’ve not seen him look slothful - still comfortable though, or lounging in pjs at night. If he was dressing for going out to work, it’d be jeans, dressier buttoned shirt and blazer.


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## DownByTheRiver

I'm all for comfort around the house, of course, but when I was young and dating or living with someone, I had comfortable sexy outfits. I was big on vintage lingerie. My favorite was a black slip with a sweetheart neckline and a fluted 6-in hem. It was very comfortable and very sexy. I also had a negligee that served me well for years that was just a sleeveless full length burgundy with a v or something on it. I mean you don't have to put on sweats to be comfortable. You can choose something like a slip or a negligee. They have such cute little shorts now. of course all this looks better on I suppose younger more fit people. But there are still pretty lounge clothes you can get no matter what size.

In my late 30s I had the most gorgeous thin robe that looked like something medieval. It's so pretty I've just kept it so I can look at it every now and then. I even wore it open out over rock clothes a couple of times. Care enough to find something comfortable but beautiful.


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## Rob_1

My dream, and only a dream is for me to have my wife naked around the house all the time. Her dream is to be wrapped up like a tamale.


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## DownByTheRiver

You would get tired of it eventually.


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## heartsbeating

DownByTheRiver said:


> You would get tired of it eventually.


Haha ...and then the clothes back on would provide some mystery.


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## Enigma32

DownByTheRiver said:


> You would get tired of it eventually.


You have a lot to learn about men still I think


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## DownByTheRiver

Well I think it would take a while. But you just get used to it like nudists do. If they're nude all the time while doing chores and cleaning the toilet and laying like a blob in a recliner watching TV, it no longer means sex.


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## Girl_power

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'm all for comfort around the house, of course, but when I was young and dating or living with someone, I had comfortable sexy outfits. I was big on vintage lingerie. My favorite was a black slip with a sweetheart neckline and a fluted 6-in hem. It was very comfortable and very sexy. I also had a negligee that served me well for years that was just a sleeveless full length burgundy with a v or something on it. I mean you don't have to put on sweats to be comfortable. You can choose something like a slip or a negligee. They have such cute little shorts now. of course all this looks better on I suppose younger more fit people. But there are still pretty lounge clothes you can get no matter what size.
> 
> In my late 30s I had the most gorgeous thin robe that looked like something medieval. It's so pretty I've just kept it so I can look at it every now and then. I even wore it open out over rock clothes a couple of times. Care enough to find something comfortable but beautiful.


I love vintage lingerie too. Not that I wear it a lot, but I love it.


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## Married but Happy

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well I think it would take a while. But you just get used to it like nudists do. If they're nude all the time while doing chores and cleaning the toilet and laying like a blob in a recliner watching TV, it no longer means sex.


Habituation breeds indifference.


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## Enigma32

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well I think it would take a while. But you just get used to it like nudists do. If they're nude all the time while doing chores and cleaning the toilet and laying like a blob in a recliner watching TV, it no longer means sex.


I guess if my GF is naked plunging toilets vigorously with toilet water splashing all around her, maybe then I won't think she's hot.


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## Talker67

Girl_power said:


> What do you think about your partners lounge wear?
> 
> I have a friend that was complaining about the fact that he sees all these beautiful women dressed up to and from work, (he lives in a big city) and when he gets home he sees his beautiful wife.... in pajamas, with no makeup and hair pulled back and he feels... disappointed.


yep, that is just sheer laziness. And it can really throw a monkey wrench into the marriage...if he feels she is not even TRYING to be sexy for him.

but you have to ask, how does HE dress for his wife? it cuts both ways.

there is not reason she can not wear a short skirt and revealing blouse at home! they can be very comfy too....and he will appreciate the effort!


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## Skiguy31

My wife has an amazing job but loves to dress comfy at night. No problem with that. I just always bust her chops letting here know that I'd like her in even less


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## Rob_1

Eu naturel works for me.


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## Cromer

Maybe TMI, but at home, we mostly don't wear clothes. She does have a favorite fluffy robe and long t-shirt and I find it sexy. She's always much colder than I am no matter where we are, whether at home, in a hotel, or outside.

If it is cold (only a few months where we live) we'll wear long shirts around the house but we don't wear clothes most of the time. This includes outside, we are in a rural area on a large property that's gated. When I walk into the house after working the property for a few hours, and my wife is dressed sexy which she LOVES to do for me, I know what that means. Jumping on me while I'm sweaty is a thing for her. My ex wouldn't have anything to do with me when I was sweaty, but my wife is a freak about it. Frankly, sex with her is at a whole different level when I'm covered in sweat even though she hates being sweaty herself.

We are always naked at our pool. Mostly we're naked unless we are expecting company and our kids know to call before coming over here. We have sheets for our comfy chairs in case we get cold while gaming or watching TV, but we are mostly in the buff at home. Retired Life. One big benefit is I often find myself on the end of a sexual favor at random times. Naked for the win!

Edited: Just realized this is an older thread. But still a fun topic.


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## Talker67

Girl_power said:


> What do you think about your partners lounge wear?
> 
> I have a friend that was complaining about the fact that he sees all these beautiful women dressed up to and from work, (he lives in a big city) and when he gets home he sees his beautiful wife.... in pajamas, with no makeup and hair pulled back and he feels... disappointed.
> 
> For the record, his wife is a lawyer and dresses up nice. But when she is home, she instantly gets more comfortable.
> 
> Is this a sort of bait and switch? Is this giving other people the best of you but not your partner? Or is this normal.


it is a real turn off. especially knowing your wife/gf is dolling up for everyone else she sees during the day BUT you!


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## DownByTheRiver

Diana7 said:


> Good grief, his wife has to dress up for work and when she is at home she wants be comfortable and relaxed. She wants to be herself. Just as he does probably as well. Or does he walk about in his three piece suit in the evenings and at weekends at home? I doubt it very much.
> Not sure what is wrong with not wearing make up and having a pony tail? I think women look far more feminine and attractive without make up anyway and ponytails are cute.I know men who don't like make up either.
> Definately not bait and switch. I am sure if he took her out somewhere nice she would dress differently if thats what he wants. Maybe he needs to take less notice of what other women wear and concentrate on his wife more.


Yeah. Sometimes I think these problems arise when the couple has stopped dressing up and going out. You need to do that every now and then so you can see each other looking good.


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## Divinely Favored

Cromer said:


> Maybe TMI, but at home, we mostly don't wear clothes. She does have a favorite fluffy robe and long t-shirt and I find it sexy. She's always much colder than I am no matter where we are, whether at home, in a hotel, or outside.
> 
> If it is cold (only a few months where we live) we'll wear long shirts around the house but we don't wear clothes most of the time. This includes outside, we are in a rural area on a large property that's gated. When I walk into the house after working the property for a few hours, and my wife is dressed sexy which she LOVES to do for me, I know what that means. Jumping on me while I'm sweaty is a thing for her. My ex wouldn't have anything to do with me when I was sweaty, but my wife is a freak about it. Frankly, sex with her is at a whole different level when I'm covered in sweat even though she hates being sweaty herself.
> 
> We are always naked at our pool. Mostly we're naked unless we are expecting company and our kids know to call before coming over here. We have sheets for our comfy chairs in case we get cold while gaming or watching TV, but we are mostly in the buff at home. Retired Life. One big benefit is I often find myself on the end of a sexual favor at random times. Naked for the win!
> 
> Edited: Just realized this is an older thread. But still a fun topic.


Youngest will be going to college in 1.5 yrs. Will be nice to not have to clothe ourselves when we get out of bed. Will be 50 on Thursday and retired by this day next month. Wife is very excited Daddy will be home all day and not just 6p-6a.


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## thunderchad

My wife has a professional job so she dresses nice most days. If she wants to be more comfy she'll just take her clothes off and walk around in her bra and thong or just completely naked. Every now and then she'll wear some sexier pajamas. I think a wife should try to look pretty/sexy for her man as often as possible. Men are visual creatures.

It is also about setting expectations and communication. I told her early on I didn't find frumpy clothing or most loungewear attractive.


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## joannacroc

Guess it's probably also about communication - if he really wants her to dress sexy and she is set in her ways, a nice silky robe would be a good replacement - it's comfy but not frumpy. If you have kids it is a lot different because you can't be swanning around the house in a neglige in front of your kids. I would not want to be with someone who expected me to dress up all the time. Had a boyfriend once who would get annoyed that I was a jeans and t shirt gal but then would wear dresses and heels out to dinner to a nice restaurant but not day to day. If you find your perfect partner, hopefully you'd see eye to eye on that. I just am not a high maintenance person. I like getting my hair done but I have never been someone who puts makeup on for staying at home.


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## DownByTheRiver

joannacroc said:


> Guess it's probably also about communication - if he really wants her to dress sexy and she is set in her ways, a nice silky robe would be a good replacement - it's comfy but not frumpy. If you have kids it is a lot different because you can't be swanning around the house in a neglige in front of your kids. I would not want to be with someone who expected me to dress up all the time. Had a boyfriend once who would get annoyed that I was a jeans and t shirt gal but then would wear dresses and heels out to dinner to a nice restaurant but not day to day. If you find your perfect partner, hopefully you'd see eye to eye on that. I just am not a high maintenance person. I like getting my hair done but I have never been someone who puts makeup on for staying at home.


Sounds like your boyfriend wanted someone more like June Cleaver. Now don't get me wrong, I love June Cleaver, but in reality even 50s housewives weren't dressing up in cutesy dresses while they made dinner and did their housework. More like a housecoat or some of those lovely polyester knit pants.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Divinely Favored said:


> Youngest will be going to college in 1.5 yrs. Will be nice to not have to clothe ourselves when we get out of bed. Will be 50 on Thursday and retired by this day next month. Wife is very excited Daddy will be home all day and not just 6p-6a.


Good for you! Outstanding to hear on the retirement. 

DW and I are empty nesters. Clothing definitely is optional, and nekkid is prevalent, as short nightgowns and no panties. You'll enjoy the house to yourselves. 👍👍👍


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## aaarghdub

My wife wears semi-professional clothes to work but has always dresses to be invisible or not stand out. Even when we go out it’s same thing: she wants to be invisible. I’ve told her before she dresses like her confidence level (which very low). For guys, it’s a double bind. She doesn’t wanna be noticed but I have become gay and not notice any other woman who does dress confidently.

She also does this weird thing that makes me chuckle where at night she’ll swap whatever shirt she’s wearing for a t-shirt and slacks/jeans for baggy sweats for dinner and TV time. Then later on during a TV break, she’ll swap t-shirt for wife beater. Weekend mornings, she’ll go half way and swap tank top for a workout top and same baggy sweats then swap to workout shorts or leggings right before the work out. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## plastow

Girl_power said:


> What do you think about your partners lounge wear?
> 
> I have a friend that was complaining about the fact that he sees all these beautiful women dressed up to and from work, (he lives in a big city) and when he gets home he sees his beautiful wife.... in pajamas, with no makeup and hair pulled back and he feels... disappointed.
> 
> For the record, his wife is a lawyer and dresses up nice. But when she is home, she instantly gets more comfortable.
> 
> Is this a sort of bait and switch? Is this giving other people the best of you but not your partner? Or is this normal.


very good point


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## The Narcissist's Wife

Divinely Favored said:


> Sometimes i felt all she was offering me was the left over crumbs. The other people were more important to her and she would bathe, perfume and dress up for coworkers and public. (Sales) But i was not important enough to do that for.
> 
> There were times years ago that we would go to bed at night and she had not taken a bath (morning bather)so she would not let me go down on her. I wanted to say then get your azz in the shower! I would shower, shave and brush and she gave me the days scraps of her.


I too feel this way about H sometimes. He gets nicely done up for work, cologne, personal hygiene, etc.


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## Northern.Guy

I love seeing my wife in casual wear. If she isn’t going anywhere, pj pants and a t shirt, no bra is beautiful. She always looks amazing.


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## Corgi Mum

Talker67 said:


> it is a real turn off. especially knowing your wife/gf is dolling up for everyone else she sees during the day BUT you!


Maybe that's part of the problem, ascribing motivation for someone else "dolling up".

I don't dress for other people, I dress in order to comply with my office's dress code. No perfume because we're a scent-free office but what little makeup I wear stays on until just before bedtime. But, yeah, with pets in the home I ditch my professional attire right after work and run around in yoga pants or workout leggings. Since I'm usually out in the yard several times over the course of the evening (with dogs, clearing snow, working in garden, etc) I do need to be decently covered, can't be traipsing around out there on display in a flimsy robe or undies. Nor am I going to do multiple wardrobe changes in a 4 - 5 hour timespan.


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## RandomDude

Was about to make another thread but realised this one got necroed, and a good topic.



DownByTheRiver said:


> Well I think it would take a while. But you just get used to it like nudists do. If they're nude all the time while doing chores and cleaning the toilet and laying like a blob in a recliner watching TV, it no longer means sex.





Married but Happy said:


> Habituation breeds indifference.


Yes.



Divinely Favored said:


> Sometimes i felt all she was offering me was the left over crumbs. The other people were more important to her and she would bathe, perfume and dress up for coworkers and public. (Sales) But i was not important enough to do that for.


Yes.

😞 Sometimes I wonder if I am really LD, or women in my life just never bother with seducing me after a while and instead falls back on demanding sex because it's easier.


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## loblawbobblog

To be honest, it bugs the crap out of me when my wife gets into pajamas after dinner and spends the rest of the evening in them. I don't bug her about it because it seems petty, but to me it feels like giving up on the rest of our waking hours that day. The only real together time we have is in the evening after dinner, I'd like to see maybe a little respect for that? I don't strip down to boxers as soon as the dishes are done.


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## TexasMom1216

The only reason my husband ever has pants on is because he hasn’t thought about taking them off yet. Most days he’s down to his skivvies within an hour of getting home. 😂😂😂🤣


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## so_sweet

I havent read all of the posts...I love pajamas! But, cute ones. I prefer PJ shorts. But, maybe I should mention I don't think I look sloppy and my hair and make-up is done from being dressed properly during the day. There's some really cute PJs out there, like shorter shorts with a top or a cute sleep shirt.


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## Personal

loblawbobblog said:


> To be honest, it bugs the crap out of me when my wife gets into pajamas after dinner and spends the rest of the evening in them. I don't bug her about it because it seems petty, but to me it feels like giving up on the rest of our waking hours that day. The only real together time we have is in the evening after dinner, I'd like to see maybe a little respect for that? I don't strip down to boxers as soon as the dishes are done.


My wife with rare exception stays dressed in her daytime outfit. Then she will either let me undress her for play, or she will simply take off all of her clothes herself when she's about to get into bed (since she mostly sleeps completely naked).

That said, if you would like her to stop doing what you don't like, you have a far better chance of getting what you would like by speaking up about it.


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## Supermoon

I have always dressed throughout the day the same way I did while dating my H. I dont put pjs on until I climb into bed. I even put on a bit of makeup and do my hair before he comes home from work! I want him to look at me every day and see the effort I put in for him. He's the only person in the world I need to impress!


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## so_sweet

Supermoon said:


> I have always dressed throughout the day the same way I did while dating my H. I dont put pjs on until I climb into bed. I even put on a bit of makeup and do my hair before he comes home from work! I want him to look at me every day and see the effort I put in for him. He's the only person in the world I need to impress!


That's really sweet and I'm happy for you. 

Someone like me needs to impress other people besides my husband as I have to show up to client and prospective client meetings dressed to impress. I can't sit across a desk from a client dressed in a beautiful business suit looking any less put together than her.

At home, I can wait to kick off my heels, unzip my skirt and get into comfy clothes, like some joggers and a top or some cute pajama shorts and tank top.

Also, I'm usually picky about what the outfits and pajamas I wear look like. I guess my hubby likes me in anything I wear as he has complimented me when I'm wearing my joggers and PJs!


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## ccpowerslave

My wife has been wearing a long sleeve Dagemajean? sleep shirt this trip and it is completely form fitting. My review is boing/10. Technically it qualifies as PJs.


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## DownByTheRiver

ccpowerslave said:


> My wife has been wearing a long sleeve Dagemajean? sleep shirt this trip and it is completely form fitting. My review is boing/10. Technically it qualifies as PJs.


Just looked those up, and they do look comfy and loungey!


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## Supermoon

so_sweet said:


> That's really sweet and I'm happy for you.
> 
> Someone like me needs to impress other people besides my husband as I have to show up to client and prospective client meetings dressed to impress. I can't sit across a desk from a client dressed in a beautiful business suit looking any less put together than her.
> 
> At home, I can wait to kick off my heels, unzip my skirt and get into comfy clothes, like some joggers and a top or some cute pajama shorts and tank top.
> 
> Also, I'm usually picky about what the outfits and pajamas I wear look like. I guess my hubby likes me in anything I wear as he has complimented me when I'm wearing my joggers and PJs!


I think we all do things differently and thats okay! I dont think my hubs actually cares what im wearing, as long as im showing him affection  I work from home though, so gives me something to dress up for!


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## so_sweet

Supermoon said:


> I think we all do things differently and thats okay! I dont think my hubs actually cares what im wearing, as long as im showing him affection  I work from home though, so gives me something to dress up for!


That sounds really nice!  

I work from home now but still have to venture out for meetings.


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## DownByTheRiver

I mean with some exceptions it's pretty easy to get a woman to dress up if the man will also dress up and take her some place that requires being dressed up.


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