# Sexless marriage - husband's small & buried penis



## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

My husband is overweight and has a extremely small penis, and I'm not sure how to proceed in this marriage. We've been married 5.5 years and together for 10. We had a period of separation about 2 years ago, but I ended up agreeing to reconcile because I hated the idea of starting over. Additionally the friendship that we have has always been really good, and he is a kind/positive person, so I decided to just try. 

Well I posted last summer about lack of attraction to my husband. At the time, I didn't mention the buried penis thing because I did not know there was a name for it. Since then I have come to realize that this is what he has. He is 380-390 lbs, and has a small penis (very thin and about 3 in when erect), that is also buried. I'll try to post a link to it if that is allowed. Otherwise you can do a quick google search to see an example.

We have had sex maybe 1 time this year, and that was because I gave in because he made me feel bad about not giving him sex. Because of this hidden/buried penis issue, there are very unpleasant smells in his genital area--even after showering. Also, I can barely feel anything when we is inside me, so I don't truly get any pleasure from the sex. As you can guess, this negatively impacts the overall intimacy we have (or lack thereof).

His weight compounded by the penis issue make me contemplate leaving. I love(d) sex and can't imagine having sex only a handful of times for years to come. We are both 33 years old, so I would think we should be having more sex than this. 

Is this an issue worth leaving a marriage? 


Sometimes one part of me feels it should not be a deal breaker. Then another part of me feels that I want to experience intimacy and pleasure in a marriage or committed relationship, and I doubt that I'll get it from him.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Was he that much overweight when you met?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

You need to really tell your husband how you feel and give him a chance to respond. I have found that it takes two to make and destroy a marriage. When I was in a sex starved marriage, I was part of the problem. I cured myself and that served as an example that allowed my wife to bring change into her life.

Good luck to you.

And yes, sex and the associated bonding and closeness is an important part of what is called the marriage relationship. Other things can substitute, but not ever replace some form of sex. So I would leave a marriage if love, sex, closeness were not present.


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

He was approx 250, so since then he has gained approx 150


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

Young at Heart said:


> You need to really tell your husband how you feel and give him a chance to respond. I have found that it takes two to make and destroy a marriage. When I was in a sex starved marriage, I was part of the problem. I cured myself and that served as an example that allowed my wife to bring change into her life.
> 
> Good luck to you.
> 
> And yes, sex and the associated bonding and closeness is an important part of what is called the marriage relationship. Other things can substitute, but not ever replace some form of sex. So I would leave a marriage if love, sex, closeness were not present.


Thank you for the well wishes. I have expressed this to him many times. All of it... And it's gotten not one bit better


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

I am thinking I probably could have just bumped my thread from last summer. I just re-read it and didn't realize that it is almost verbatim. Sigh..

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/#/forumsite/20516/topics/207010?page=1


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Unfortunately, he needs to be motivated himself. You can be sweet and understanding, or direct as much as possible, people with issues like to ignore it until it reaches crisis level.

You can do small things for yourself. Only cook meals that are healthy. If he wants otherwise, let him cook or go find his own food. Be in control of grocery shopping and watch what you buy. If it is not there, he will either have to go get it, or he will eat what is around.

If he persists, you will be forced to take action. Do not feel guilty if it comes to leaving, you simply have a difference in lifestyle than he does. Perhaps leaving him will be best if things do not turn out. If he does not want to be alone, he will have to lose some weight most likely if he wants a partner again. If he does not want to lose the marriage, you will see how motivated he is. Does he want the marriage enough to change, because when he neglects himself, he neglects the marriage as well. You really cannot change what you find attractive.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

33 is too young to stare down a sexless marriage. I have many of the problems your husband has. My penis shrunk due to hormone imbalance. I don't have the buried with associated smell, but it isn't the penis she married me with. I suspect that 2 things have made this work. One her drive is reactive so she doesn't notice what she is missing. And second we introduced toys into our sex life so I could ensure that she was getting satisfaction when she wants. Our lovemaking is not traditional PIV at least half the time. 

Sex is not the only issue, you will also likely be a young widow. His health and energy will not be equal to yours. If I was 33, I'd be fixing something, no mater what it takes.
MN


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

How much do you weigh? Just curious....I mean, are you both obese? Could losing weight be a gift you give to each other?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

it'sme...I think you're done. You just have to own it and move on. Not that it is ever that easy, but the psychological part has to happen first.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

I really like these replies that occur on these threads when it is the man who is the one presenting "all" the problems. I'm fairly certain if it was the OP who had become obese over the years after marriage and her husband had managed to remain fit, most here would be insisting that he show more compassion than he is getting.
For better or worse shouldn't go into the trash just because the road starts getting a little bumpy.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

I am a male who is out of shape and has a tiny penis. Married 22 years. I wish my wife had been honest with me 15 years ago. Could have saved both of us much heartache. Do both of you a favor and be honest with him. Maybe he will whip himself into shape. Nothing he can do to grow his penis but things he can do to bring you pleasure in other ways. Maybe it will work for both of you. Maybe not. But if not, you will end it before it becomes a life sentence. Trust me, it does not get better with time. It gets worse. With less time left to benefit from moving on.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Forget about his "small and buried penis" and concentrate on his enlarged and artery clogged heart which is the product of his lifestyle choices. He's a hair's breath away from having a killer heart attack.

You worry if you leave him that you will be starting all over, well guess what? If he dies in the coming years, you will be starting over. So what's the point of staying married to a man who thinks so little of himself that he has been slowly killing himself with food?


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

SecondTime'Round said:


> How much do you weigh? Just curious....I mean, are you both obese? Could losing weight be a gift you give to each other?


It's no problem. I am about 145-150 lbs and 5'2. So I have 15 or so pounds that I'm actively working to lose. I track my eating in myfitnesspal and work out 3-5 days a week. I have encouraged him to go work out (he paid for a 12-month gym membership but rarely goes), I tried to get him to track his food at the very least and he doesnt. I also suggest us going work out together when our schedules align. He'll do that sometimes but its very rare that it works out we are able to go together. So he would need to be able to push himself to do it whether I'm with him or not with him.


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> it'sme...I think you're done. You just have to own it and move on. Not that it is ever that easy, but the psychological part has to happen first.


The psychological part is so hard. I hear you though..


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

I have been watching the TLC tv show, my 600 lbs life because I enjoyed seeing how people from a hopeless situation finds the strength to change their lives. It's very inspiring. Your husband has a compulsive overeating condition. He's probably very depressed and is using food as a coping mechanism and this condition is fatal. Encourage him to find a local OA support group (OA-overeaters anonymous). There's a website he can use to find a local chapter. If you have medical insurance look into gastric bypass to improve overall health. Talk to him about wanting a partner and not a dependent. I remember reading somewhere that for every 10 lbs of weight loss, men gain an 1" to their penis. You might have to stop being an enabler by not giving him the food that he likes.


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

hookares said:


> I really like these replies that occur on these threads when it is the man who is the one presenting "all" the problems. I'm fairly certain if it was the OP who had become obese over the years after marriage and her husband had managed to remain fit, most here would be insisting that he show more compassion than he is getting.
> For better or worse shouldn't go into the trash just because the road starts getting a little bumpy.


Yes the double standard in these types of scenarios tends to pop up. But I think there is a reason for that. Biologically, women have more fat stores in their bodies than men, so you see women gain weight sometimes easier than men. Add to that the weight of pregnancy...10s of pounds of extra weight on the body. And lets not mention multiple pregnancies. So all that to say, I think a woman may have more of an 'excuse' so to speak. 

I just want to point out as a disclaimer.. I am specifically disappointed that he won't do anything about improving his health and our sex life. It is not the weight itself, but the fact that he is now about 400 lbs but taking no steps to go down the scale instead of up.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

itsmeokay said:


> The psychological part is so hard. I hear you though..


And by "move on"...I just mean move on to the next logical step.

Which I assume would be telling him you just can't see yourself with him in the future, and begin deciding how to separate. This is a long process though, if you still need to give him time, or give him an ultimatum, or whatever you need to do in order to assure yourself later that you tried everything you could think of and even others could think of.

But in the end...the likelihood of him losing and keeping off over 100 pounds is very small and would take so much more of your life just waiting and waiting. It is true he is slowly killing himself with food, and it isn't fair that you have to feel shallow about this. Even the penis thing can be worked with, but his death wish cannot. 

So what do you think the next logical step is?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

hookares said:


> I really like these replies that occur on these threads when it is the man who is the one presenting "all" the problems. I'm fairly certain if it was the OP who had become obese over the years after marriage and her husband had managed to remain fit, most here would be insisting that he show more compassion than he is getting.
> For better or worse shouldn't go into the trash just because the road starts getting a little bumpy.


Well if you are talking to me, I absolutely would tell a man in a sexless marriage the same thing about an obese wife who had a death wish, that he should own up to it that he cannot do anything to "save" her.

The road is not just a little bumpy for someone who is over 100 pounds overweight, and this doesn't happen quickly either.

This wife does have compassion for her husband. But what good will that do her? Just because she's done doesn't mean she doesn't love him or have compassion. She's just reached the point of hopelessness, which is what everyone who loves someone who has a death wish (including other addictions, I'm assuming there is a food addition involved here) eventually you have to let them go in order to save your own life.

This husband has chosen his life to be this way, his wife had no choice and would have chosen otherwise if she could have.


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

Thanks for sharing Holding.

Are you and your wife still together, if you don't mind me asking? And did you two find ways to have a satisfying sex life for both?



Holdingontoit said:


> I am a male who is out of shape and has a tiny penis. Married 22 years. I wish my wife had been honest with me 15 years ago. Could have saved both of us much heartache. Do both of you a favor and be honest with him. Maybe he will whip himself into shape. Nothing he can do to grow his penis but things he can do to bring you pleasure in other ways. Maybe it will work for both of you. Maybe not. But if not, you will end it before it becomes a life sentence. Trust me, it does not get better with time. It gets worse. With less time left to benefit from moving on.


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> So what do you think the next logical step is?


Well about a week ago we talked about things, and I expressed to him that with the extra weight it causes really strong odors down there and fat pad etc, etc, and that I think we could have more enjoyable sex once he loses weight. He responded by saying it'll take him somewhere near 2 years to lose all the weight and get to his goal weight. He sees it as unacheivable and so is like "why bother". I told him that I am not asking him to FIRST lose like 100, and THEN we'll have more sex, but that even in the process of him gradually losing that it should naturally make things better and we would slowly starting having it more. And then he said he basically wanted an agreement on that, otherwise he doesn't see the point lol. In other words, if he can't get a promise that we'll have sex with incremental weight loss, then he won't bother.

So the short answer is, as a next step, I suppose we'll go that route for a time and then see how things shake out from there.


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## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

Dogbert said:


> Forget about his "small and buried penis" and concentrate on his enlarged and artery clogged heart which is the product of his lifestyle choices. He's a hair's breath away from having a killer heart attack.
> 
> You worry if you leave him that you will be starting all over, well guess what? If he dies in the coming years, you will be starting over. So what's the point of staying married to a man who thinks so little of himself that he has been slowly killing himself with food?


I definitely hear you. From his perspective, his obesity is "hereditary". Honestly I know that some of the people in his family are what he calls "big", and I didn't so much mind. But at that time I had no idea that he would put on an extra 150 lbs and that it would result in an awkward sex life. A large part of this is my own fault for not considering everything before we got married.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

The process of fat loss should be a gradual one so that the new and healthier lifestyles choices permanently replace the bad ones. Also, too fast the weight loss and he will have to deal with a lot of loose skin which may require plastic surgery. His health and consequently the health of the marriage should be his primary motivating factors.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> Why don't you just shorten the process and tell him you're going to help him lose 145-150 pounds in a week and *ditch his lard azz*? Face it, you're never going to be happy with this *indolent behavior* and he's never going to give more than lip service to making you happy. If he really gave a crap about you, he give it more effort than a shoulder shrug. He's giving you the ILBNETGOMLA (I love you but not enough to get *off my lazy azz)*
> *Find you a man with the wherewithal* to make you a priority rather than food. (and puts some serious effort into personal hygiene)


What is the point of the name calling and direct insults of her husband? She doesn't hate him, why do you seem to? :scratchhead:


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

hookares said:


> I really like these replies that occur on these threads when it is the man who is the one presenting "all" the problems. I'm fairly certain if it was the OP who had become obese over the years after marriage and her husband had managed to remain fit, most here would be insisting that he show more compassion than he is getting.
> For better or worse shouldn't go into the trash just because the road starts getting a little bumpy.


Not true at all. There have been several threads in which the sexless husband of an obese wife writes about his troubles and the response is always, she has to get healthy first. Then we tell the husband to stop pvssyfooting around the obesity issue and make his boundaries firm. Boundaries meaning "I won't stay married to a person who is slowly killing themselves and at the same time expects me to watch this happen."

For better or worse does not include a willful for worse, worser, worstest, and then death.

ETA: here is the most recent thread involving a sexless marriage, an obese wife and a husband who is far too passive to actually have an effect on his own happiness.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/251737-no-longer-able-cope.html


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

itsmeokay said:


> He responded by saying it'll take him somewhere near 2 years to lose all the weight and get to his goal weight. He sees it as unacheivable and so is like "why bother".


You need to tell him that the amount of time it'd take him to get to a weight/size at which it greatly improves his and your sex life would not be nearly as long. Goal weight, perhaps, but not a weight at which sex is again possible.

My wife lost close to 80lbs in less than a year, as an example. After her last pregnancy, and subsequent change in job (went from being active at work to a desk job while pregnant and for some time afterwards) she gained a lot of weight.

She achieved this goal by changing her eating habits, and that's all. No gym membership, no running, no weights. Just eating less, and better.

The first few months, there was a dramatic change, then the weight loss levelled off, but continued. You need to tell your husband this, as it's hugely motivational to visibly SEE the weight loss, even after a few weeks. My wife went into this change thinking it'd be slow and difficult, and she wouldn't see any change for a long time, but that wasn't the case. It was near immediate. And THAT'S what motivated her to continue along with it.

When somebody is obese, as your husband is (and yes, my wife was as well), the initial weight loss is dramatic and very visible, very quickly. Whereas in your case, you are looking to lose 15lbs or so, which is a very small amount of weight, and frankly, small enough that it would be barely noticeable, and take a seemingly longer time to lose.

But I suspect that the larger one is, the less likely they are to have the confidence to make a change like that. I think people can get to a point where they, like your husband, say "what's the point?", or they simply don't care anymore.

TBH, if I was your husband, and my wife told me that, not only was sex with him unfulfilling because of my weight and size, but that the strong odors coming from "down there" were impacting her ability to be intimate with me, that'd be motivation enough to make a change.

However, as was alluded to earlier in this thread, dealing with people who have addictions is usually a losing battle - at least for a while, and usually for good. The bottom line is that addictions, of any kind, trump everything else, including one's spouse, family, children, jobs, etc.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Insulting, presumptuous, mean-spirited but correct. This guys massive weight gain, uncleanliness, and lack of willingness to do anything about this "voluntary" problem , is selfish, shows a sense of entitlement, lack of concern and empathy for his wife. Sorry but I'm not among the the group to recommend just keep talking, making excuses, looking for sources outside on him that causes the problem, etc.
Them him to go on a diet, hit the gym or hit the road, is my advice. Why spend your life with someone who's not motivated to look out for you and make you needs a priority over feeding.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

OP, I may have missed it somewhere... but regarding the buried penis issue, was he born with this (congenital) or is it a result of all the excess fat?

If it's the latter, losing weight would help immensely to help the penis come out of hiding. Also, liposuction can be used in conjunction with weight loss, but that procedure would have to wait until he gets most of the weight off.

If it's congenital, there are surgical options to help treat the condition.

But I agree with others, either way, refusal to lose the weight and try to improve the situation would be on my list of "deal breakers." It sounds like you already had a conversation about all this, so he needs to get on board. His actions will tell you a lot about how committed he is to your marriage.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> Insulting, presumptuous, mean-spirited but correct. This guys massive weight gain, uncleanliness, and lack of willingness to do anything about this "voluntary" problem , is selfish, shows a sense of entitlement, lack of concern and empathy for his wife. Sorry but I'm not among the the group to recommend just keep talking, making excuses, looking for sources outside on him that causes the problem, etc.
> Them him to go on a diet, hit the gym or hit the road, is my advice. Why spend your life with someone who's not motivated to look out for you and make you needs a priority over feeding.


In case you didn't read the other posts, no one here has suggested that the wife "just keeping talking". We have actually recommended she leave him (or get ready to). Yet we didn't have to insult him or name call in order to say it.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> OP, I may have missed it somewhere... but regarding the buried penis issue, was he born with this (congenital) or is it a result of all the excess fat?
> 
> If it's the latter, losing weight would help immensely to help the penis come out of hiding. Also, liposuction can be used in conjunction with weight loss, but that procedure would have to wait until he gets most of the weight off.
> 
> ...


Nothing grows in the shade.


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## OLDERMARRIEDCOUPLE (Mar 13, 2015)

Don't know if this will help, but tell your spouse this story.
My son was overweight. He is 6'2" and got up to about 415 lbs.
He has lost down to 224 lbs and has kept it off for many years.
It did take him a little over 1 year to do this. Please understand that he adjusted his diet, intake, and works out regularly. 
It can be done.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

I think it's likely that the "3inch" issue has greatly contributed to the excess weight and his lack of effort to address that which he can do something to correct. Poor self esteem can be a "killer", as well.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

hookares said:


> I think it's likely that the "3inch" issue has greatly contributed to the excess weight and his lack of effort to address that which he can do something to correct. Poor self esteem can be a "killer", as well.


I think the 3 inch issue is likely caused in large part (no pun intended) by his obesity. His excess weight is "diverting" tissue to his stomach that would more than likely be naturally located a little lower. In other words skin that would have contributed to penis size has instead added to the size of his belly. Furthermore the excess weight has very likely affected blood flow to his penis and this has also probably contributed to the problem. Point is that the weight must come off before anything will improve. OP, is there any way you can "gently" tell him that his penis size will increase as his belly decreases? Some men are very touchy about their size. Maybe that in and of itself will motivate him.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> OP, I may have missed it somewhere... but regarding the buried penis issue, was he born with this (congenital) or is it a result of all the excess fat?
> 
> If it's the latter, losing weight would help immensely to help the penis come out of hiding. Also, liposuction can be used in conjunction with weight loss, but that procedure would have to wait until he gets most of the weight off.
> 
> ...


yes, absolutely! there are medical solutions. your husband is a prime candidate for this. his obesity if genetic. Usual methods of weight loss are less effective for these types and probably more frustrating for these people than the rest of 'us'.

There are clinics that specialize in nothing but this. If surgery is a viable option, they can give a referral. If he has medical insurance, I bet they will cover this.

in my opinion, since you love him, insist that he get to a medical weight loss clinic.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Yet we didn't have to insult him or name call in order to say it.


Perhaps I was a little rough on the old boy. I've always been the type that would rather be hurt by the cold hard facts of the way folks see me, and able to correct the situation if possible and interested, than be comforted by somebody's euphemisms. 
You said my comments were insulting and I see where your coming from. Besides, Itsmeokay already knows the score and what to do so I'll delete the post and back off.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Only answer is for him to get in shape.

No one has to put up with someone who just wants to slowly kill.themselves, not to mention the difficulty in having sex.

I wouldn't ever stop loving Mrs. Conan but if she got obese I would get an intervention.

There is also no way I would "dig" through flesh just to find hidden genitals to be intimate.

Much "bigger" issues than sex going on here. Your H needs to lose weight to live.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jeanie Geaves (Aug 23, 2017)

Holdingontoit said:


> I am a male who is out of shape and has a tiny penis. Married 22 years. I wish my wife had been honest with me 15 years ago. Could have saved both of us much heartache.


 You wished your wife had been HONEST?? Are you blind? Or did you not care about your appearance like my husband? He is very obese and also has a small penis. He is 5ft 10ins and was 168 lb when we marred 32 yrs ago, he is now 252 lb and he looks a terrible mess and he knows. He eats crisps, bread,biscuits all the time and huge portions at meal times and he doesn't care. Also his personality has changed towards me, from a loving,pleasant husband to a sometimes nasty, arrogant, sarcastic man. His face is now horrible to say, ugly and his neck huge like a buffer-lo, this makes him snore like a diner-saw so we can't sleep together anymore, he squashes all the furniture. The doctors had a go at him I've done my best being pleasant about it. He says he'll do something about it next week, next month, New Year, after birthday and so on but never does. Even the diabetics, cholesterol and heart failure in his dads side of the family from the age of 50 doesn't scare him because he says he's like his Mum. I know this will result in a heart attack before he does anything, then he could be dead or even disabled. He's 53 btw, I'm 58 5ft 7ins 148 lb and it's no plain sailing keeping the weight off believe me I have to diet every now and again. I'm at the end of my tether with him to be honest.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> Not true at all. There have been several threads in which the sexless husband of an obese wife writes about his troubles and the response is always, she has to get healthy first. Then we tell the husband to stop pvssyfooting around the obesity issue and make his boundaries firm. Boundaries meaning "I won't stay married to a person who is slowly killing themselves and at the same time expects me to watch this happen."
> 
> For better or worse does not include a willful for worse, worser, worstest, and then death.
> 
> ...


not true at all!

lol OK

I would bet my left nut that men who complain about their wifes weight get the theres more to marriage than sex and she had babies you should be more understanding.

than the opposite. but thats just my personal experience 

But I think both people are under obligation to stay attractive to each other. or suffer the consequences. 



op

lose weight to get more sex....pretty good incentive for most guys.

or you could go the way of feed him till he dies approach. buy some life insurance now!>


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Jeanie Geaves said:


> You wished your wife had been HONEST?? Are you blind? Or did you not care about your appearance like my husband?


I am 5'9". Weighed 170 on our wedding day 25 years ago and fluctuate between 177 and 180 now. Not hugely fat. Just out of shape. Wish my wife had been honest that she never found me attractive in the first place.

If you H gained 75 pounds since you got married, I can see how that might affect your desire for him. My wife gained 65 pounds while pregnant with second child. Did not take it off for 12 years. I still found her attractive but I understand not everyone reacts that way. These days she is within 10 - 15 pounds of what she weighed when we met but I don't find her nearly as attractive because now I know she has no desire for me.

If you love your H, push him to lose the weight. I thought I was being supportive of my wife by not complaining when she was heavy but in the long run would have been better if I had pushed her more. Your H can't make his penis bigger but he can make his belly smaller. Might require medical intervention or even surgery. No reason he should be carrying around 75 pounds of extra fat. As others have said, make it an issue of his health and being alive to be with you in the future.

Sounds like he is unhappy with himself. Telling him he has lots to live for may not work with him. Tell him he should want to stick around so he can annoy you for the rest of your life. Good luck.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

At his weight, he is well on the way to a heart attack and early death. I was 325 and 5'10", heart disease and diabetes showed up in my 40's. Also, at that weight, I had a 4" penis. When I got my diabetes under control, and spent 10-15 years losing the weight, something miraculous occurred, I found another 2.5" buried. (Turns out that I was a "grower" rather than a "show-er"). My wife says that I have given her a new man (I have definitely given her a new lover-with a much bigger co(k.)

Get him into Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem anything to get that fat off. Everything else is doable afterward.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

He should have weight loss surgery so he has a tool built into his body to help him lose it permanently. Thru diet and exercise the chances of him losing it and keeping it off are close to non-existent, especially with his attitude. A dude that big, maybe the one called Duodenal Switch that allows for more normal eating, and better long term success for people that are SMO.

I know it's a zombie thread, but others may benefit.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Nice zombie thread.

Might as well add some thoughts before it is closed down by the moderators.

I remember listening to a woman talk show once where the host was talking about how hard it is to get a husband to loose weight.

A woman called in and said, no, it was very easy for her to get her husband to loose a lot of weight., She just motivated him. She explained that as his wife of many years she knows him very well and knows what he likes, what he doesn't like, what will get him off the sofa, what foods will cause him to over eat, etc.

She said she talked to him, got him to agree to a diet. Then she changed what foods were in the house and worked with him to limit what foods he would get outside the house. She said the main motivation was that she told him that for every 5 pounds he lost, he could buy her an outfit, any outfit he wanted and she would wear it for him the the bedroom when they had sex.

Obviously a guy with a buried micro penis and is morbidly obese, might not be motivated by sex, but then again, the point is that the wife probably knows what motivates the husband outside of food. Maybe tickets to a sporting event, a guided fishing trip or some other "non-food reward" could motivate him to loose weight.

I do agree that the guy needs to pull himself together and decide to change himself, otherwise it is probably a hopeless situation. Actually, as overweight as he is, even if he lost weight down to an ideal weight he would probably have so much loose skin that he would either need cosmetic surgery or the wife might still find his body too gross for her. 

The story is a good reminder that we all need to take care of ourself both for ourself and for our family.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

*OP is long gone. Thread locked.*


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