# Broken



## Ealae71 (21 d ago)

Hi my name is Ealae, I am new here. I came across this site after going through others and I found it very interesting in reading the post. It's good to know that I am not the only one going through this. I was hoping to get some insights on how to navigate the waters on what I am going through. I have recently gotten the news that my wife no longer wants to be in the marriage any more. Yes I have heard it before, but didnt take head. She has filed for divorce a few times, but I didn't sign them the first time, but I did this time with stipulations that I didn't follow through on. She has the complete copy, but hasn't signed them yet. She keeps hanging them over my head as a manipulation tactic I think for me to change, which she continues to say I wont. She says she is not getting what she wants, but I don't know what that means at this point. We have been through a lot over these 17 years (12 years married) and I try to make her happy, but it's only temporary and where back to square one. We are still living together, but now she wants me to move out cause she says she wants to be by herself, she has even offered to help me pay for for the move.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Ealae71 said:


> Hi my name is Ealae, I am new here. I came across this site after going through others and I found it very interesting in reading the post. It's good to know that I am not the only one going through this. I was hoping to get some insights on how to navigate the waters on what I am going through. I have recently gotten the news that my wife no longer wants to be in the marriage any more. Yes I have heard it before, but didnt take head. She has filed for divorce a few times, but I didn't sign them the first time, but I did this time with stipulations that I didn't follow through on. She has the complete copy, but hasn't signed them yet. She keeps hanging them over my head as a manipulation tactic I think for me to change, which she continues to say I wont. She says she is not getting what she wants, but I don't know what that means at this point. We have been through a lot over these 17 years (12 years married) and I try to make her happy, but it's only temporary and where back to square one. We are still living together, but now she wants me to move out cause she says she wants to be by herself, she has even offered to help me pay for for the move.


How old are you both?

Time and time again she files for divorce, or threatens to file, if you don't change. And you don’t take heed.

So what is that about? What has made her unhappy enough to file for divorce?

Why do you keep begging to stay if she wants out of the marriage?

Do you have kids?


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## Ealae (21 d ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> How old are you both?
> 
> Time and time again she files for divorce, or threatens to file, if you don't change. And you don’t take heed.
> 
> ...


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## Ealae (21 d ago)

Well I myself am 51 and she is 41. I have made many changes in the past, but I feel its just for her. My thing is she doesn't want me to drink and I have cut back on that a lot, but I have used it to get away which is only temporary and it never works cause life and problems never ends. I don't look it as begging at all, I just know what I have in my life that's worth fighting for. No we don't have kids together.


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## Ealae (21 d ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> How old are you both?
> 
> Time and time again she files for divorce, or threatens to file, if you don't change. And you don’t take heed.
> 
> ...





BeyondRepair007 said:


> How old are you both?
> 
> Time and time again she files for divorce, or threatens to file, if you don't change. And you don’t take heed.
> 
> ...


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## lmucamac (5 mo ago)

If she wants you to stop drinking then stop. It’s that simple.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Ealae said:


> Well I myself am 51 and she is 41. I have made many changes in the past, but I feel its just for her. My thing is she doesn't want me to drink and I have cut back on that a lot, but I have used it to get away which is only temporary and it never works cause life and problems never ends. I don't look it as begging at all, I just know what I have in my life that's worth fighting for. No we don't have kids together.


Not wanting to be with someone who uses alcohol to cope with life and problems is a legitimate thing and her perogative. 
To be with someone who drinks vs being on her own is her choice. 

To be able to drink when you want for whatever reason you want or try to remain with someone who doesn't want to be with a drinker is your choice.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Ealae said:


> Well I myself am 51 and she is 41. I have made many changes in the past, but I feel its just for her. My thing is she doesn't want me to drink and I have cut back on that a lot, but I have used it to get away which is only temporary and it never works cause life and problems never ends. I don't look it as begging at all, I just know what I have in my life that's worth fighting for. No we don't have kids together.


Is drinking the only problem? Why haven't you done what she asked? Do you think it's an unreasonable request?

You said you “..._know what I have in my life that's worth fighting for_.” so what's the problem? Why won't you fight for this?

It sounds like you need to make a choice. Your wife or your bottle. Let one of them go.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Time to choose, drinking as a means to escape
Is a problem you just admitted yourself. What are you trying to escape from?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Maybe you should look into why it's so hard for you to stop drinking? What dose the drinking provide for you?


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