# Emotion and sex



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

After 50 years with one woman, I have come to a conclusion, women have almost no emotional attachment to sex....They may like sex, they may have mind blowing orgasms, they may talk for hours about wonderful sexual adventures, but as will Geer said in a Jeremiah Johnson..."I never could find no tracks on a woman's heart"....Just me, just her, or is it true?

Rest of quote...a woman's breast is the hardest rock that the Almighty ever made on this earth and I could find no track upon it...


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Everybody's different.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> After 50 years with one woman, I have come to a conclusion, women have almost no emotional attachment to sex....They may like sex, they may have mind blowing orgasms, they may talk for hours about wonderful sexual adventures, but as will Geer said in a Jeremiah Johnson..."I never could find no tracks on a woman's heart"....Just me, just her, or is it true?


I would suggest that your experience with one woman tells you a lot about that one woman, but not women.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

my experience has been for some there is great emotional attachment; for others not so much but that is admittedly a small and skewed sample. for anything meaningful on this would have to be from the psychologists or sociologists and an unbiased study of attitudes. probably something already exists that has measured that.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I would suggest that your experience with one woman tells you a lot about that one woman, but not women.


I am not saying there is no emotional attachment to ME....She is a very emotional woman, and we are very close, but when it comes to our sex life, I am much more emotional about it than she....I can recall a previous event, that leaves me all mushy, and when I mention it to her, it seems to mean no more than a really good backrub....


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

But again, you are describing one woman, not women.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Woodchuck said:


> After 50 years with one woman, I have come to a conclusion, women have almost no emotional attachment to sex....They may like sex, they may have mind blowing orgasms, they may talk for hours about wonderful sexual adventures, but as will Geer said in a Jeremiah Johnson..."I never could find no tracks on a woman's heart"....Just me, just her, or is it true?
> 
> Rest of quote...a woman's breast is the hardest rock that the Almighty ever made on this earth and I could find no track upon it...


1. just because you don't get the sence from your wife that she has an emotional attachment to sex doesn't mean that she actually doesn't, or that the rest of woman kind doesn't.

2. what is it that you are looking for from her? To curl up in your arms weeping with love after a giant O? Because I love my wife, and we love sex, and that only happens on Sundays. The rest of the week we're both like 'who's gonna make the kids go back to sleep?'


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

marduk said:


> 1. just because you don't get the sence from your wife that she has an emotional attachment to sex doesn't mean that she actually doesn't, or that the rest of woman kind doesn't.
> 
> 2. what is it that you are looking for from her? To curl up in your arms weeping with love after a giant O? Because I love my wife, and we love sex, and that only happens on Sundays. The rest of the week we're both like 'who's gonna make the kids go back to sleep?'


I am talking about a woman who will tear up over trading an old car, but when I was due to have surgery that could have left me impotent, she was like "Oh well"...


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Woodchuck said:


> I am talking about a woman who will tear up over trading an old car, but when I was due to have surgery that could have left me impotent, she was like "Oh well"...


Sounds insensitive.

I hope you let her know that.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> I am talking about a woman who will tear up over trading an old car, but when I was due to have surgery that could have left me impotent, she was like "Oh well"...


I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know your whole story but you have my empathy.

However, please don't make the mistake of assuming most women are like your wife.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

So get her in the back seat of that old car for some hanky panky. 
But seriously, it sounds like sex is not a big deal for her emotionally and is more so for you. People are different. End of story. 
If you are asking why she may be that way, who knows? Or are you asking for advice how to change her attitude?
Your original statement about "all women" being like your wife can hardly be made based on experience with one woman.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know your whole story but you have my empathy.
> 
> However, please don't make the mistake of assuming most women are like your wife.


Don't get me wrong, she is a wonderful wife and mother. I would not have had the success I had in life without her. It is just this one quirk that I have no explanation for....I could be much worse off, and I know it...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Is she not similarly cold and emotionless (say, if they are hurt or need medical assistance like in your example) to the kids?


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

marduk said:


> Sounds insensitive.
> 
> I hope you let her know that.


I did bring it up, I must say that in most cases she is a very sensitive person......I am not what you would call a macho type, but She has always had the impression I was invulnerable...


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Is she not similarly cold and emotionless (say, if they are hurt or need medical assistance like in your example) to the kids?


Quite the contrary....I am the one that mops up the blood and hands out band aids....She is really upset by pain and suffering...I am confident I could deliver a baby or remove an appendix...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

What do you mean by saying she is a good wife and mother? Can you describe what is good about her in those roles?


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

Woodchuck said:


> After 50 years with one woman, I have come to a conclusion, women have almost no emotional attachment to sex....They may like sex, they may have mind blowing orgasms, they may talk for hours about wonderful sexual adventures, but as will Geer said in a Jeremiah Johnson..."I never could find no tracks on a woman's heart"....Just me, just her, or is it true?
> 
> Rest of quote...a woman's breast is the hardest rock that the Almighty ever made on this earth and I could find no track upon it...


Fifty years with one woman isn't really a case study that is generalizeable. It just tells you a lot about that one woman.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> After 50 years with one woman, I have come to a conclusion, women have almost no emotional attachment to sex....


In my experience, some do, some don't. Ex did not - nor to me. This one does - and is emotionally attached to me. Is that the difference? Perhaps. But I think this wife is attached to good sex _and also happens to be _attached to me.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> I am talking about a woman who will tear up over trading an old car, but when I was due to have surgery that could have left me impotent, she was like "Oh well"...


Are you sure she was expressing apathy? Or was she perhaps expressing that she didn't want you worrying about her, focusing on getting well, and that she'd still love you no matter what?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Great example of why a lot of the advice given here and elsewhere about the whole of either gender is invalid. There is a lot written here by men about women, what they want and what to do in order to get her to do what you want. These huge generalisations are unfounded and futile.

Best thing is to know YOUR partner as an individual not just as a member of their gender.

FWIW I do not have an emotional connection with sex, sure I love it and do it often but it is a physical thing not an emotional one. The whole "men need sex to feel love and women need love to have sex" is a crock of rubbish IMHO.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

On the other hand, Woodchuck, I don't think there are any other married couples on this site that have made it 48 years.
I for one want to read every single one of your posts because I believe it will give me insight into my possible future.

Keep posting and congratulations on 48 years. You da man!


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

UMP said:


> On the other hand, Woodchuck, I don't think there are any other married couples on this site that have made it 48 years.
> I for one want to read every single one of your posts because I believe it will give me insight into my possible future.
> 
> Keep posting and congratulations on 48 years. You da man!


Actually, it will be 50 Feb. 2nd...If you read all my threads, be prepared for a wild ride.....We had a MAJOR issue a couple of years ago when she decided withholding sex was an appropriate way to address resentments...

The sad part is she really cut back on sex for a couple of years, and when she came around, had health issues that caused her orgasms to go from 100% of the time to 5% She regrets wasting those years...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I've only been with one man , we haven't reached the years you have...but speaking for myself (as true....women are just not all the same- just as men are not either)

I have always always always attached deep emotion with the sexual... my husband won't even call it sex.. to him it's all "making Love".. I've always felt this from him.. I know it's why we've lasted.. 



> *Holland said:* FWIW I do not have an emotional connection with sex, sure I love it and do it often but it is a physical thing not an emotional one. *The whole "men need sex to feel love and women need love to have sex" is a crock of rubbish IMHO*.


 but it's not rubbish ... this is completely true for some of us...

Oh sure....physically I could "get off" with other men... feel the erotic surge through my body... but I wouldn't be emotionally satisfied , fulfilled -without the emotional aspect attached.... I have a need to lay in his arms in the after glow.. be open , vulnerable.. feel deeply wanted , loved.. 

Yeah I guess I need a lot ... I also needed a man who understood this & valued it.. 

I get that other women are not all wired like this (I often feel the weird woman out here on this forum)..but it's still not something I can relate to ... just like they do not understand why this is so meaningful to some of us.. or men like mine..


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