# Depressed for a year...



## sicklikelove (Oct 13, 2009)

Hi all,
I'm a 23 year old wife and this is my story...

Since my son was born last year, I've chosen to be a stay-at-
home mom and focus on my child and finishing my bachelor's degree via online courses. However, this plan backfired as now I don't have a social life at all what-so-ever, no close friends and I've become dependent on my husband emotionally and financially. To make matters worse, I've been dealing with major depression most of my life which I've only ever been treated for it recently. I was prescribed anti-depressants about a week ago and I will be seeing a psychiatrist starting in November. My husband isn't perfect either of course; he has become physical with me a few times while he was intoxicated...nothing too bad where I feared for my life but I did ask him to stop drinking. Since then, we have had no physical altercations. He is a sergeant in the Marine Corp and tends to take a militant approach to our relationship. We fight primarily about stupid, little things that really aren't even worth fighting about.

I really hope being on antidepressants will help me reclaim my self esteem, emotional independence and get out of this rut I've been in lately. My husand still loves me, and I him, but we've agreed to separate for a while. Neither of us wants to give up on our marriage after only a year and half but we don't know how to change. We are both strong, dominant personalities and this quality makes it hard for us to compromise. He is also very stubborn and I'm usually quite pessimistic. Can we save our marriage? Is it even worth saving? How effective and helpful will my antidepressants be? Can a couple who argues on a regular basis stay together for the long term?

I realize we have a lot of relationship dilemmas, but we both want to avoid divorce, especially since we have a son. We were madly in love in the beginning and I just want us to have that again? Is any of this possible?

Any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

you're going through a big transition and it may just take time to adjust. dont rely solely on anti-depressants to give you a quick fix. you have to do something about your life to feel better. 

there's a great book called Feeling Good by David Burns. I also suffer from depression but this book really helped me. it was the first time i felt like anyone had something useful to tell me. 

if you are isolated in your home alone with just your son, of course you are going to be depressed. you'll have to get out and make friends. you might consider taking a few classes at a campus, going to a volunteer group, or joining a church or something. you need to do something. your marriage is not the problem. you're just miserable and that's the problem.


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## mr.niceguy (Oct 17, 2009)

There is no specific answer on what you need to do for depression. I have suffered from depression most of my life and have attempted suicide multiple times since the age of 8. I was not diagnosed until I was 24 and having troubles with my wife. There is no quick fix but meds can help but could take months to get the correct mix or dosages. 

Also recently my wife and I had our first child (29 days old today) I was concerned about me having trouble but both my wife and I go to the parent connection meetings through our hospital. I enjoy the time with the other parents and I find myself looking forward to it every week. There are many great programs out there just to be active with others. You will also find that so many others are on meds for similar reasons. I am very open about my situation because it makes others feel comfortable. I have been through a lot at 27 years old and want others to know it is ok and it is how you treat others that matters.


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## Kerry36 (Oct 21, 2009)

sicklikelove said:


> Hi all,
> I'm a 23 year old wife and this is my story...
> 
> Since my son was born last year, I've chosen to be a stay-at-
> ...


I really appreciate you for thinking about your son which is lacking in many parents now a days."Where there is a will their is a way" so you are the right person to settle your issue.Iam sure you will take a right decision.
All the very best my dear..


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