# Should I Let it Go to Divorce by Default?



## Zhus (11 mo ago)

Hi Everyone,

I need help asap. My husband and I are currently separated and I moved out of the US a few months back. He filed for divorce in Massachusetts court in Nov and I just got served the divorce summon. I am considering not replying to the petition and letting it go to default to save myself from further abuse, trauma and humiliation during hearings. We don't have children or shared property and in the Divorce Summon it says "irretrievable breakdown of the marriage". Is this a wise decision or should I answer asap. I don't want to hire lawyers and make my life more messy than it already is.
Please help!


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Zhus said:


> Hi Everyone,
> 
> I need help asap. My husband and I are currently separated and I moved out of the US a few months back. He filed for divorce in Massachusetts court on Nov 2, 2022 and I just got served the divorce summon. I am considering not replying to the petition and letting it go to default to save myself from further abuse, trauma and humiliation during hearings. We don't have children or shared property and in the Divorce Summon it says "irretrievable breakdown of the marriage". Is this a wise decision or should I answer asap. I don't want to hire lawyers and make my life more messy than it already is.
> Please help!


if I was you if you don't have kids and don't have shared property/ bank loans I WOULD DO LIKE YOU BUT HAVING 
seen others like you get landed with shared costs or bills that sour husbands with a chip make to get the most out of the woman i would contact a legal team player that is used to dealing with divorce explain to him what you want and let him do it it will cost you some but could be cheaper that no one in your corner and getting landed with hidden bills


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## Zhus (11 mo ago)

frenchpaddy said:


> if I was you if you don't have kids and don't have shared property/ bank loans I WOULD DO LIKE YOU BUT HAVING
> seen others like you get landed with shared costs or bills that sour husbands with a chip make to get the most out of the woman i would contact a legal team player that is used to dealing with divorce explain to him what you want and let him do it it will cost you some but could be cheaper that no one in your corner and getting landed with hidden bills


Thank you so much for your response. Yes, that's the thing, his behavior is very unpredictable. I sometimes think I made the mistake of marrying a psychopath. From emotional, psychological and financial abuse to stealing my belongings and now litigations, this man just keeps putting me through the worst.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Sounds like it would be best to go along with the divorce to get him out of your life asap. It's hard to see what would be gained by delaying it. Get legal advise as well


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

If you guys don't have any shard bills, or do have shared bills that you might be fine to be stuck with because it makes it easier to just deal with a monthly payment vs dealing with his trauma - just do it. I divorced my first husband - we got a dissolution in the same manner. He didn't hold up on his end of the 'bargain' for what we were supposed to be splitting so I just filed for bankruptcy instead. It cost me $900 in total and took me 1.5 years to get my credit scores back to something decent and it was well worth it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

In a default divorce, the petitioner is normally granted what has been asked for in the petition for dissolution. If you’re okay with that then I’m not sure what benefit there is to respond (however, I’m not familiar with Massachusetts divorce law so maybe a quick Google question about that would be helpful).


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