# 20 reasons



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

A list of reasons why I am leaving him 
1. He has been unfaithful in the past and is now currently being unfaithful. 
2. He has lied repeatedly to me. 
3. He has broken our marriage vows 
4. He has shown no true remorse or regret 
5. He has betrayed my trust 
6. He insults my intelligence 
7. He does not care about my needs 
8. He makes no effort for my needs 
9. He is not a good example of what a man, husband and father should be 
10. He blames others for his actions. He takes no self-responsibility. 
11. He is manipulative 
12. He is deceptive 
13. He has emotionally abused me 
14. He neglects my need for conversation 
15. He puts objects (phone, games) before me. 
16. He puts other women before me. 
17. He has betrayed our children by betraying me. 
18. He takes me for granted 
19. He makes no initiative to keep our marriage strong 
20. He very rarely ever compliments me.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

a few of them are enough reason by themselves.

that is quite a list you let him get away with at least for some time.

i think you should be able to find someone that is better than that if you so choose.

good luck to you.


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Girl if you want to save this, then save it, if you are done be done, but don't make a decision out of emotion, if you know he is being unfaithful, which following your other threads, I know you do, make him leave, it's quite possible that this can be saved, but you need to think of YOU and your beautiful children, for instance, if I find anything in our cell call logs around april 10th, he is gonna have to leave, until he commits....in my case I won't be the one to call it quits, he is the one that is gonna get the ball rolling.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Apple, do not leave the marital home (from a legal and practical standp;oint it would be no good).

Also, stick to one thread. You have about 10 going on at the same time


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans, is it easier for others to follow one thread? I guess I didnt want to confuse threads by having several topics in one.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

At 6pm (it is now 11:15pm my time)he went to the ER because his daughter (my step) had an accident. She is ok. About 45 minutes ago I called him. he said they were done at the ER but he had work issues to deal with. And that was going to drive around and talk on the phone to get the issues sorted. Ok, but why drive around? Why not just come home and make the call from home?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Jellybeans, is it easier for others to follow one thread?


Yes. It makes it much easier to follow the story.

Glad to hear daughter is ok. He prob had to drive around in his car and "make calls" so he could call OW.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Yes. It makes it much easier to follow the story.
> 
> Glad to hear daughter is ok. He prob had to drive around in his car and "make calls" so he could call OW.


Yeah, that's what I figured too. When I asked him why he didn't just come home and make the call (saying we live only 10 minutes from the hospital but it took him an hour and a half before he got home) he simply said "I didn't think about it."


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Lies.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Aren't the first 4 or 5 the same thing? What do I know I am a dumb male.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

if he is putting anybody else or anything else ahead of you, not good..cheating, not good...not careing for you or loving you like a spouse is supposed to, not good...

if you think the balance of feelings is more on your part than his, let him be on his way...

thats what it sounds like to me...like he just dosent care at all, and prob., never did. and from your list..i would say 10, 11, & 12 are red flags of something i would not want any part of...

and he just dosent sound like a all around nice person...why would you be with someone who is mean and cruel to you on a daily basis??

your children are learning what a husband should be like by watching him...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah #10 and #4 are really bad, IMO. #10 is basically my ex in a nutshell. He always said I "made" him do everything. Including breaking stuff. Come on, now!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I have been doing some more thinking. I am the type of person who likes to be organized. I like to have things in order and maybe that's one reason why I am stressing so bad right now is that everything in my life has become chaos! I have decided to take back control. I am making myself a plan. On monday, I will be calling a lawyer to talk about my options. Now mind you, as of right now, my husband has no idea I am planning on leaving. I want to be able to make sure that the kids and I are secure before I walk away. I'm going to have a funeral for my marraige. My marriage was something I loved very much but it died. I must accept that. I will grieve my marriage. I will miss my marriage but I will walk on. I am going to bury our wedding rings. I will place them in a small box and bury them, place flowers on the grave, sit down and have a good, hard cry. Then I will focus on healing. I will quit my husband the same way I quit smoking--cold turkey. Quitting smoking cold turkey was very hard but I am very happy I did it. Yes, I had cravings, yes I was tempted many times to smoke but I held strong and now, one and a half years later, my life is 1 million % better without a cigarette. As long as I can stay strong and resist anything he tells me, in time, my life will get better again. This will be a long and often times very trying road but I have faith and I believe God will be there with me.


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