# Family medical insurance



## Freegirl777 (12 mo ago)

Hello
I am carrying my husband on my medical insurance because he had heart surgery last May. He is working full time again but is not making the money he did before. He of course needed to reduce his stress and I support him on this. My problem is that his job is not guaranteed from month to month so he is on my insurance to make sure he can always get his heart medication and diabetes medication. It is super expensive to carry him. With his lower income and medical insurance, we are making $1600 a month less than before. I am trying to get a part time job to make ends meet, but I am worried that I won’t be able to keep it up as I have medical issues as well. We are both in our 40’s. I am bitter as well as he has always refused to carry me on his insurance because it was too expensive for him. I am a very sensitive and empathetic woman and he admits that he has little to no compassion. He has finally gotten life insurance right before he got sick with his heart. It is enough to bury him and that’s it. Meanwhile, he screams at me if there is not enough in the bank account to pay my life insurance that is $38 a month. $250,000 pay out at my death. I feel guilty for complaining as I should be grateful for the fact the he didn’t die, but there are times I don’t have money for gas and food. When he was not on my insurance, I had enough for me and to buy groceries and necessities for the house and family. I have tried for years to leave him, but he has financially crippled me and begs me to forgive him and give him another chance. He has worn me down so much, I can’t fight anymore. Please be kind with comments. Thank you for reading.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

If you don’t love him and you don’t want to be with him you should leave and ignore what he does to try and keep you around.

As a traditional kind of guy, I view it as one of the primary things I need to do in my life to make sure my wife is taken care of financially; so I do. I can’t even imagine a world where I was putting financial burden on my wife and sitting around being ok with it.


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## Crihitofer (2 mo ago)

I sympathize with you, and I think that you are not obliged to do for your husband what he once refused to do for you. First of all, you should think about yourself and your well-being


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

I can feel your frustration. Sounds like your husband probably doesn't. How do you think it would go if you discussed all this with him, if you haven't already? Do you really have much choice except to carry him? What would he do without coverage?

The whole concept behind your arrangement is odd to me. We comingle all our resources. My wife happens to carry our insurance too, but that is because our contribution is less with her employer for the same coverage. As for life insurance, it should be proportional to the income of the person covered. I have a bigger paycheck, so my coverage is higher. I know it isn't uncommon for married couples to keep separate finances, but what is the reason you aren't a team in all aspects of you relationship, including finances?

Last question, I promise, lol. You say you've tried to leave him for years. Is this just about finances or are there other issues?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Zombie Cat says "Let's not!"


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