# Baby on the Way, Hubby out the Door?



## Jenifer 74 (Nov 15, 2008)

Background: I'm new here, just found this site, but I’m 34, DH is 38, married 18 months (together 6 yrs), 2nd marriage for both, each have one son from prev marriage. Mine is 8, his is 10

I was told in 2001 that I could never have children, well surprise, I’m now 5 mos pregnant! We were both shocked at first. It got a little better and we were making plans. Well, about a month ago DH started withdrawing from me, not talking, avoiding me, all that stuff. He said that he was really freaked out about this baby and not sure that he can handle being a father again. His words, “You might look up and see skid marks.” Well, over the last week, we’ve talked a lot and things were really getting better between us. We were getting closer at least, although he’s still “freaked out” about it. I told him he better get used to it because whether he stays or goes, he’s still going to be a father to this baby. DUH!

Well, last night I got our cell bill and I found numerous (daily) calls and texts (150) since 10/16 to a # I don’t know. I called him at work to ask him who it was. He told me it was a new woman at his work in the marketing dept. They have become friends, blah blah. 

When he got home he told me that he LIED about who she was. She is actually a woman that he met at the bowling alley. She is on a team that he subs for occasionally. He swears that they are just friends and there is nothing going on. They’ve just both been going through a lot with their relationships (she has a bf, not married) so he’s been talking to her about OUR relationship. INSTEAD of talking to ME! We talked about it a lot last night and I told him I really wanted to understand this new friendship and I don’t want to pick his friends, but he hurt me by going about it the wrong way. I told him that I wanted to be able to accept it, but I would have to meet her and have full disclosure. 

Well this morning, we went to OB appt and then to get my car inspected. While we were at the inspection place, his phone vibrated (she texted him) he waited a while and then went into the public restroom and checked it and texted her back.I know this for a fact because I am reduced to checking our wireless online acct hourly. I called him and asked him WHY DID YOU HIDE IT? AGAIN!!! No answer, only defensiveness and anger. He said that he texted her to ask if we could meet. I told him that he could not continue this relationship with her and still be with me. I just can’t handle it and the trust is broken. He said I’m crazy, hormonal, and overreacting. Honestly, I am extremely hormonal, but am I over reacting? Also, this morning he told me, “If you tell me I can’t be friends with her or bowl anymore, that will be a huge push out the door.” That’s just outright manipulation. I am so messed up inside and don’t know what to do. I’ve been praying a lot, and I know that whatever happens my kids and I will be fine. Any advice would be appreciated. Am I overreacting?


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

No, it is oviously a relationship he hide for good reason. It is a sure thing that you are uncomfortable with it and if he would chose his "friendship" over a wife and baby that says volumes more.

I don't believe that you should chose his friends but if he has a friend that hurts the marriage, that he wastes his emotional strength with instead of using it it for you, than I believe you do have the right to ask him to cut ties with her.

draconis


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