# Im lost



## Inhelp (Jul 27, 2013)

My wife cheated on me with two guys at the same time! A few weeks ago she went to the bar with her friend (a friend that I have never gotten along with). While they were there Her friend told her that I tried to kiss her once 2 years ago which is not true.
So my wife claims that she was mad at me because of this story and proceeded to go down the street to a dance club.She says she didn't go looking for guys she just didn't turn them away. I got home around 12:30 am and finding that she was not home tried calling several times with no answer. She ended up walking back to her friends house with one guy while her friend drove the other guy back to her place. She claims that after a little while of hanging out she decided to lay down on her friends bed. A few minutes later the guy she walked back there with came in and they started fooling around, then the other guy came in and had his way with her first. She has lied from day one abut anything. I showed her video of her at a store with the one guy and she still denied it. Then she walked over to the cabinet and drank a bottle of sleeping pills! It wasn't until later that night in the hospital that she admitted she had done anything. Then it took another day for her to admit that she did the other guy. I don't now what to do. I love my wife with all of my heart. Ive asked if she said no at any point and she did not. She says she told them to were condoms. which means she was aware. Sorry if this is a little scattered.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

The biggest problem is that your wife naturally believed a made up story that your friend told her, rather than checking with you first.

Well ok, screwing 2 guys on the same night might also be the biggest problem. 

Then again, attempted suicide scores relatively high on the biggest problem list too.

She continues to lie to you in the face of indisputable evidence. The continued deception is also a big problem but probably not as big as the other three. 

At least she told them to wear condoms. Sorry just trying to find something positive about your story.

If it was me, I'd walk.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

She told them to wear condoms? 

Don't know if I would believe that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

This is such a terrible story. Why would she immediately believe what a so-called friend tell you and then go have sex with 2 guys she meets at a bar? Just because she said use a condom does not mean that they did. You both need to get tested for STD's.

She has a great many problems that is beyond your scope of dealing with. When she gets better it will be important for you to look at your various options.

I question whether this is her first time engaging in this type of behavior. Somebody tells her that her husband tried to kiss her 2 years ago and immediately she go to look for sex with 2 different guys at the same time? I question her history. It does not make sense and you know it. It sounds like that this is the first time she got caught.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

I'm a little confused. You tell a story about your wife doing two guys in the same night at her toxic friend's house a few weeks ago. It sounds like a one-time occurrence, and it sounds like when you confronted, she lied about the circumstances initially until you showed her what proof you had. It also sounds like she then tried to kill herself. Why? Shame? Guilt? Fear of losing you?

My confusion is about when you say "She has lied from day one abut anything." Do you mean about this incident, or have there been others?

How often does she go out with this friend? Why would the friend tell her you did that? And why now? What did your wife say when you told her that her friend was lying about it? Does the friend confirm your wife's story? Does the friend now admit to your wife that she lied about you? What is your relationship like with your wife's friend?

How did you catch your wife? Were these guys strangers they met in a bar?


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> How often does she go out with this friend? Why would the friend tell her you did that? And why now? What did your wife say when you told her that her friend was lying about it? Does the friend confirm your wife's story? Does the friend now admit to your wife that she lied about you? What is your relationship like with your wife's friend?
> 
> How did you catch your wife? Were these guys strangers they met in a bar?


How did he get a video of her in a store with a guy?


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Inhelp, all I can say is when you have a wife running around to bars and dance clubs, picking up guys and doing two at the time, you've got a real mess on your hands my man. Calling it "cheating" is an outrageous understatement.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Have you been tested for stds?


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

Do you have children? If not I would have to think very seriously about this one cowboy. She knew she was going to do the one guy when they left the bar. This so called friend egged this on and got off on her disrespecting you like this. I think as a minimum you need to send her off for now to decide what you want to do. In the mean time get an STD test for you (I don't believe the condoms). Go see an attorney and find out your legal position. You don't have to file, but you need to know your rights and she needs to know that this is a die on the sword issue.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Keep in mind that she apparently told them to wear condoms, which is an interesting response. She didn't say that they wore condoms.

C


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## Inhelp (Jul 27, 2013)

Thanks for the responses. Ill try and fill in the rest of the story here. This "friend" and I do my get along and it's no secret. She is a neighbor and only tolerated because of this. My wife and I had gotten in a fight about something stupid that I can't even recall now 2 weeks prior and the neighbor new that and tried taking her into leaving me then. This was the first day that they were together since then. I think that she told her the story of me to get her to want to leave. She lied about everything from the day she came home up to when I found out about the story . She even went as far walking over to the neighbors with me to confront her and denied everything. Basicly it turned into each one saying the other was lying. Then when I showed her the tape she claimed she didn't remember anything of that night at all. Oh yeah I found out about this because this neighbor told my 15 year old daughter! And I got the tape because I know the shop owner. I have grilled her and grilled her numerous times in the last few days. Asking more then I even want to know. I see Shame in her eyes but I don't know if it is sincer. I already had trust issues because of a past gambling problem so now I can't believe anything.I havnt been tested yet but I will. When I asked her if she had she did no because she wasn't worried about it because of the condoms.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As others have said, don't trust the condoms. She (from your words) didn't even say they were used, just that she asked them to use them. Big difference. And condoms often aren't used for oral sex, but STD's can be passed that way easily.

And you're likely only seeing the tip of the iceberg... You may want to consider a polygraph.

C


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Well, your wife doesn't seem to have any respect for you whatsoever. I mean, she does a couple of guys in the same night.

Not the type of woman I'd want to live with.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

If she did two guys at once you have bigger issues than just cheating.

Not her first rodeo IMHO.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Get out!


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Quit.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

some acts are too damaging, too extreme, to be repairable. Your wife's action doesn't say much about her, does it?

give your wife and her friend, your neighbor, their wish. divorce her.

Then tell the neighbor's husband that his wife fvcked your wife. (just kidding. maybe?)


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

She's lying about the whole thing, the whole you kissed the neighbor story was pulled out of her behind. She got caught and had of improvise too late to go back and too much of a coward to own up. 

i would think the natural reaction to hearing a story like your spouse tried to kiss me, is to go flying to confront your spouse, not sit in a bar and plot and proceed to cheat. 

Start reading here:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/32002-welcome-tam-cwi-newbies-please-read.html
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ironman (Feb 6, 2013)

This woman is crazy. Leave her.

Seriously, what kind of a self-respecting woman sleeps with 2 guys in one night based on some hear-say "attempted" kiss regarding her husband?

Think about that ... revenge for an "attempted kiss" == I guess I'll sleep with 2 dudes. Wow .. all I can say is wow.

Get out.

PS: Like everyone says, she's probably lying as to her excuses ... I'm not sure which is worse though.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

She may have been looking for a threesome and she did it. She made a story for that.

Who carry condoms with them always. from where they got the condoms? who brought it? her story of condom is unbelievable.Get tested for STDs.

There is a lot than you think.....


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## JR&JR (Jun 30, 2013)

Putting myself in your shoes, I don't think that I could ever trust her again and a marriage without trust isn't much of a marriage. I'd rather be single with a chance to be happy than married and miserable. Unless you believe that you can forgive her and trust that it won't happen again, you need to file. That's what I would do.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

How can you say you love her---maybe you loved the woman who USED to be your wife---this present model AIN'T YOUR WIFE

She believes a statement from your toxic neighbor---even as they go to a meatmarket---then she does it KNOWINGLY/WILLINGLY/HAPPILY with 2 GUYS

How do you love someone who does that kind of sh*t

Do the 2 of you normally go your separate ways---you were out somewhere without her, and she was out shopping for a man/men to have sex with----JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY---DO EITHER OF YOU KNOW THE DEFINITION OF MGE.

Her doing the sleeping pills is BS----she is manipulating you----If you decide to D---and it sounds like that is not on your mind at all----

So if you wanna R---this woman who just did 2 guys at once----(that should be great for visions the rest of your life)---anyway if you wanna stay with her---you have to be hard as nails about this---she has to know just cuz you have an argument---she just does not go and believe what others say about you---and then go looking for men

Your so called wife is seriously screwed up---she needs IC, before you decide anything----just take your time on this one---cuz what she did to you---MAY NEVER GO AWAY-----and looking at her will trigger you again and again and again


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I got a feeling that she's been around the block affair wise before. Why couldn't she go lie down on the couch? Why the bed? Where was the other woman? Did she sit and watch? It's one thing if she was drunk and had a fling but she had a semi gangbang. That's a hard core woman you got there partner! No respect not only for you but herself. And for what? Her girlfriend said you kissed her? Most people would go home and confront their spouse first and get to the bottom of it, but to go with two guys and take them both on for justification without verifying if there was a kiss is a flat out lie. Friend. The woman you once loved isn't the same one who came home after her little orgy. Pack her stuff up and get her the hell out of that house. Let her move in with her bimbo friend and then the both of them can take on the neighborhood.


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## dc366 (May 25, 2011)

What are you doing? Stop being a puppy dog. You are in denial. Quit asking her for confirming the facts. Go with your instincts. By talking to her you are giving her attention; in other words you are conveying "I'm like a puppy.. No matter what you do even if your mouth lands on other d I c k s, I will still be there for you". By doing so you are losing all respect; she can now rationalize what she did as normal.

Stop talking to her. Do not make any eye contact. Do not act upset or angry. Go to the bars talk to other women. Sleep with 10 other woman even if you have to pay for it. You need to show that she is replaceable otherwise she will think you are a wuss.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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