# Looking for Working advice for non paying spouse on child support



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Here is the issue.. 

My Ex wife has been working about 10 hours a week as a dental hygienist for the past 2 years since our divorce.. 

She did take a board of education job as a para for a few months, but quit it after I served her with papers for child support.. 

I currently get paid 200 a month.. 

She has not worked anything else on the books since that time.. 

I also am speculating that she has received a pay raise at her work but is getting it again off the books.. 

In 2012 she was making 40 an hour.. I know she gets a raise every year or at least every 2 years.. It's been 3 years.. She been at that job for 17 years since we had been together.. 

I also think she might be working more hours but again is getting paid cash instead..

I intend on bringing all of this up in court.. But speculation is a bit rough.. 

But over all my claim is she is not working to not pay child support..


So with all of this being said, has anyone had some success with this stuff.. Meaning getting the ex spouse to work more or pay more..

I am sorry in advance for many of the men here as I know this is a sore subject for many as I have a friend who gets raked over the coals by his ex wife any chance she gets and he is living in his moms basement because of his divorce..

If it is worth anything. I am looking to get 1000 a month out of her and that is it.. So its another 800 a month I am asking.. I don't want her to be broke or living in a shoebox.. I don't want her working the rest of her life to pay child support. I believe 1000 a month is decent if not fair and very low for living here in NYC and it would allow her to live a decent life style without over burdening her.. 

So if anyone has any insight either way thank you in advance..


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Have you contacted your lawyer?


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Imputing Income When Determining Child Support | Divorce: New York

This talks about imputing income in New York for child support.

I got the ex to sign an agreement for child support that imputed income to him. At the time he had been voluntarily unemployed for a few years. I reminded him, correctly, that the last two jobs he held were for more than the amount being imputed in the agreement. If he were to go to court, the court would look at his education, his prior employment. and the reasons for his current unemployment. He quit his last job and prior to our separation went to great lengths to lie to me about trying to find other work. (He was finding OWs instead). He caved, signed and moved out of state.

I could not force him to work. But once the agreement was signed the support starts to run. He can then find a job, or go to court and face contempt charged for non-support. He is in arrears, and pays only enough to avoid contempt. I went through social services and about the only thing they will do for enforcement is take his tax refund. It would help, but last year he didn't file. We'll see about this year.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

How many kids do you have?

Edit: No matter how many kids you have. If she's still making $40 x 40 hours a week, $1000 is only about 16% which is low by any state's standard for 1 child...Reasonable request.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

@Pluto

Thanks for the link.. I used that website before and I am looking to use other cases from that site which I read up on related to quitting your job to not pay..
@snerg

I did, He pointed me in the right direction related to what to say.. He does right by me and doesn't charge me. He feels I should go in alone as it looks better...
@Ceegee

I have 2 boys.. 
I agree it is low but I also feel the pendulum swings both ways.. I don't ever see her having custody of the boys since she actually gave up physical custody of our youngest last year and she hasn't spoken to our oldest since she left.. 

But karma is a b!tch..

Plus I always want to do right by her regardless.. I never want her to say sh!t about anything.. I want her to alway understand even when she was down and I could punch her in the face, that I didn't...

She lost her kids and ruined not only my life but our kids and family.. Her life sucks balls as well, I am pretty sure she just stuck with this guy forever or until she finds someone else to latch onto.. 

But she always has to look back and know deep down I never screwed her.. Even if she wants to pretend I did.. 

Money wise I am doing ok..

It would be good emergency money for sure.. 

My son has a trip in 2016 with his school, it's going to cost me around 4k.. I would rather use my money for house stuff and her money for things like this..

The judge first awarded me 1350 based on 37 hour work week and then went back on the decision. So I am redoing paperwork again to start the process over because the judge retired and I had to get a new judge.. Nutshell the judge was closing out cases before she left not to leave things laying around for another judge to deal with.. 

After doing some math.. of 25% and then 17% for 5 years.. I came up with $ 188,000.. If she only pays me $ 1,000 a month until my youngest is 22 ( he is 10 now ).. She saves $44,000..

Plus I wouldn't ask her for anything else beyond that.. No money for clothes, trips or doctor bills.. Mind you my youngest is going to need braces and a bite guard because he grinds his teeth.. 

Otherwise I will eventually have to move to a place where my dollar will stretch a bit further and where I can have a better home for them.. 

This is what at least I want to bring up to the courts and make it clear of what the future might be if she doesn't help out.. This way I will have laid out the ground work with her and the courts.. 

I am hoping that the courts will then or can then say basically we gave you enough chances to help out so he didn't have to leave but you didn't..


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

My xW has pulled this twice. The last time they told her that she would go to jail if she did not pay. Well that day has come. She quit paying and it looks like they are proceeding with pushing towards jail time. Sadly you just have to follow the laws of your state and slowly push forward. In case she ran off with another loser so she is in and out of the state weekly so it will be very difficult for them to track her down. 

Sorry your going through this but sadly we don't have better laws for protecting the children. 

Clay


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

HTH, I know you are more interested in imputing income, but does she have a pension/401K. More and more the courts are allowing a QDRO to secure child support obligations, even arrears. Of course mine cashed his out, so I can't go after that, but it might be something you can suggest to the court to secure an increase in support if the asset is available.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Pluto, sadly she doesn't have anything..

Went into court today and she requested a court appointed attorney.. But what she didn't get is that the courts realize she makes good money so they won't appoint her one.. They pointed her in a direction to find an attorney though for a lower cost.. 

They adjourned the case until August.. 

I called my lawyer and explained.. His thoughts are she realizes that there is just not much she can do anymore.. He tells me the good thing is a *( Good )* lawyer will now make it clear to her that she just doesn't have many options left.. He says don't be surprised if she calls or the lawyer reaches out to you to make a deal.. He told me don't do it and let the judge make the decision. 

The interesting thing is to see how she ran through 55k I gave her in the settlement.. She left debt free and with 55k and a truck valued at 10k.. Her share of the debt was 135k to 145k, I don't remember at this time. So in a essence, she walked away with over 200k.. I wish someone could give me a reset button like that.. 

Part of me does feel bad regardless.. I just don't know why I feel this way, when I know I shouldn't.. In my mind I know I won and I feel like I am sort of kicking her when she is down.. I think its just the man thing in me as I feel like I am beating up on a woman.. 

But regardless I am going to let the chips fall where they may. 
@clay
Sorry to hear that Clay.. I just don't get how people become like this..


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

I know why and its ok.


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