# don't know what else to do!!!!



## mamifelger30 (Sep 16, 2013)

My narsisstic husband claims he filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. I haven't been served yet. I GAVE everything in this marriage and he wants me to leave with nothing. Gave yo my only car to get a new one . He says everything is his from his hard earned money. Forgetting I have two boys. He's been staying at his boys House and only times he comes here is when his roommate needs space. Not because he waBue kids... We live on base and he has truck money etc...I'dpot restraining order but because of the abuse n destruction he does to the home the moment I tell him the foul **** that.He plays. He says the consummation of our son was a mistake but says he doesn't regret him. Says he loved him when he was born! Now it mashes sense how he contributed to nothing during my PREGNANCY. He desires me sexually more now then when we were married... Only plays.husband n farther of the year when it's CONVIENANT for him. I've put up with abuse forgiven his betrayals. The one time I ask him please change let's work on our marriage he says b goodbye like I'm trash . I'm like do I stay at my home don't give him the luxury he wants... Or go to my parent's with nothing And try to take the truck since its communitable property. I'm at a lost. I just can't live like this anymore him in n out house.... Pretending be nice using kids n me... When things going perfect happy I do everything still says sane answer no family. I'm like okay then why are you making my life he'll. Every attempt I make to move forward he has lawyers call me say I cannot sell things etc etc. But he tries to act like he owns me... Please help I'm lost I dint even know who I am anymore
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## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

There are resources for military personnel including spouses. Try military one source for things like tax help, counseling and support and free legal advice. He is active duty right?? He will be standing tall in front of his CO if he does not fulfill his responsibilities. His pay will be garnished for sure. Time for you to act. Children are your number 1 priority now.

V/R 
SOS


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Go right away to the military spousal support. Tell them he is harassing you and you don't want him in your house. 

Also the local abused women's shelter will do counseling and help you with legal advice. You need legal advice right away, don't wait. 

He's having his cake and eating it too. You and your kids don't deserve this horrible treatment. 

You have to accept that his behavior is abusive and cruel, and protect yourself.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

If you haven’t been served yet he most likely didn’t file anything. All you need to do is go on a computer and look up on the court system and see if he has. Once divorce is filed there is only a certain amount of time that the other party has to be served and its usually only a couple of days but does vary from state to state. 

I seriously doubt he is having lawyers calling you telling you that you cant sell this or that, these are most likely buddies of his doing it. Lawyers just don’t do that especially if you havent been formally served papers. First find out for yourself if he has filed or not. That is pretty easy to do and don’t bother asking him since you wont get the real answer. Second find yourself an attorney and start the wheels rolling to protect yourself. 

This sounds more like he is just playing a game and using you more than anything else right now.


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## mamifelger30 (Sep 16, 2013)

Thanks everyone. Yes that's the thing thog if I leave he wants keep everythinging I GAVE up my only car for us to get a brand new one. I told him you have the motorcycle let me have truck he says f no. I would be leaving with only clothes in my back. He wants the luxury of keeping big house n everything n me struggling. And AThen what. I haven't been served but yet he won't let me sell furniture nothing. I don't know what best thing to do. I hate how he does this push pull game leaving me dwell guilty that's it, all my fault . He left me for other women before.... I rim him back I left him last year forUBE starting me now gee wants nothing to do with me.... Maybe he still loves her. Who knows she was once a birch A w evil women now there best friends abd I'm the evil one !!!! Why does he do this to me n the kids. I try move fwd abd he either mashes me feel bad or hopeful about us=honcho;8497689]If you haven’t been served yet he most likely didn’t file anything. All you need to do is go on a computer and look up on the court system and see if he has. Once divorce is filed there is only a certain amount of time that the other party has to be served and its usually only a couple of days but does vary from state to state. 

I seriously doubt he is having lawyers calling you telling you that you cant sell this or that, these are most likely buddies of his doing it. Lawyers just don’t do that especially if you havent been formally served papers. First find out for yourself if he has filed or not. That is pretty easy to do and don’t bother asking him since you wont get the real answer. Second find yourself an attorney and start the wheels rolling to protect yourself. 

This sounds more like he is just playing a game and using you more than anything else right now.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

You said you live on post?

Go to the JAG office. Provide them the lawyer's contact info. If he's filed, BAH is yours. His command should be notified by JAG and they will give him a unit Commander's order of No Contact and Stay Away. This means he pays for the housing. You live in it. He can't come around. 

This should also engage his command so they can ensure he either sh1ts or gets off the pot so you can get things freed up.

The truck and bike, and everything else, is most likely community property. That means you are both equally eligible for both it's gains and it's costs. 

You should start looking for your own lawyer. Worst case is you file.


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

People here have been giving you good suggestions. It is up to you to now follow them. Also contact his chain of command and tell them what is going on. As long as he is in the military he will be forced to pay child support. You do not have to try and do this alone.


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