# Find My Phone says different to where wife claimed she was.



## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Just wanting to know how i can track the last locations from my wifes Iphone.

A few things have raised my red flags. She has been getting stuck into me a lot lately, then today she claimed she was going to the gym then rang to say she couldnt find parking so was meeting a friend that works close by.

For the record said friend does work very near but only has half hour lunch break. 

When i didnt hear from her i used find my Iphone. It said that she was at a local bar. I rang her and she claimed she was shopping at the nearby shopping centre.

She was there for 1 and half hours. I have screen shots and have emailed them to a private account.

My question is how can i access her last locations from her phone. I know it can be done.

I will be placing a VAR in her car tonight when i get home. I want to have my ducks in a row before confronting.

If i confront now she can explain that she lied cause she didnt want me to think she's an alcoholic insert bu...llsh...it excuse here____________.

Before people start i want to do this right then catch her. If she has violated trust this time she wont know what's hit her.

Pretty hurt right now.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

On her iPhone go to Settings>Privacy>Location Services>System Services>Frequent Locations

It should list all the locations her phone has been at and the times.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sure sorry. Can't fully recall your tale but seem to remember she either cheated or crossed a serious boundary a while back.

Just giving moral support. I'm not a tech dude.

To your success brother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

How to View the Location History of Your iPhone - iClarified

Also, do you use an iPhone as well? If so, do you have your account and her account linked via iTunes' "Family Share" feature? If so, you can view her phone's location by logging into iCloud or FMI using _your_ account, or by friending her using the "Find My Friends" app (which is a tad less accurate than FMI). Also, if you friend her via FMF, the request will need to be approved (either by her or you, w/ her phone in hand).

I've mentioned all of ^this^ because it will eliminate the notification emails that are normally sent to the email addresses linked to her account when you log into _her_ iCloud account. So, if you don't have any of ^that^ configured, make sure that you're intercepting those emails.

Sorry man. 

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> On her iPhone go to Settings>Privacy>Location Services>System Services>Frequent Locations
> 
> It should list all the locations her phone has been at and the times.


Thanks Soccer Mum.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> How to View the Location History of Your iPhone - iClarified
> 
> Also, do you use an iPhone as well? If so, do you have your account and her account linked via iTunes' "Family Share" feature? If so, you can view her phone's location by logging into iCloud or FMI using _your_ account, or by friending her using the "Find My Friends" app (which is a tad less accurate than FMI). Also, if you friend her via FMF, the request will need to be approved (either by her or you, w/ her phone in hand).
> 
> ...


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

She said she went shopping?
Same story she used when she went out on a date with another man!!!

Find my phone is very accurate now than a few years ago. 

I suggest you act normal and try to get into her phone or look for a burner!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Did she ever find out about the VAR that you used years ago?

And do you have the password to the email address linked to the iCloud account?

If it's not an icloud.com email address, the password may be different than the password used for the iCloud account itself.

Either way, do yourself a favor and configure a filter or rule to handle the emails as they come in. You'll need the email address used to send the emails to do that (it should be something like [email protected]e.com). And beware... the address may change from time to time.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Gus i dont believe she ever worked that one out. Will be using the same VAR. Have just finished charging the batteries. Will insert in car tonight before she goes to the gym. We dont have allocated cars we take first one out of driveway. She will leave for the gym not long after i get home so she should be taking the one i drove to work today.

If she did meet up with someone today im guessing they wont be able to resisit not talking in the car as she cant communicate at the moment as she just picked up the kids from school and my girls will tell me a boy rang her.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Step #1 - Have thread moved to Private.

Step #2 - Dust off that VAR.

(And don't forget about the email stuff.)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Sportsfan,

Sorry to hear that you are back having to deal with this garbage.

I remember you previous thread....but I can't recall the final resolution.

Did you ever get her to admit the PA with 'date' boy and what the full extent of her interaction with the 'playdate' dad was?

I remember being concerned when you were posting that she was not giving you the full story.....and IMO a R will NEVER work if the WS is continuing to hide and deceive.....its a continuation of the wayward behavior to not confess all.

I ask because if you never got the FULL truth and just decided to try and move forward....then she thinks that to some extent she got away with it.....and that might be why she feels things are calm enough now to get back up to her old wayward ways.


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## Hantei (Feb 23, 2016)

Mate, you have been posting in my thread and now I'm posting in yours, how twisted is that?

3 moths ago I'd dismissed the signs, now...

I wish you to figure out what is the right thing for you to do then just follow the plan.




Dyokemm said:


> Sportsfan,
> 
> Sorry to hear that you are back having to deal with this garbage.
> 
> ...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

All I can do is offer you moral support. But well, here it is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

You need to first decide on the outcome you want to go after. You already know she lied. And it was a very calculated lie and set-up to go to that place. You don't need much more evidence as you already know the events.

Tell her someone saw her there. Since you know she was there don't back down no matter what story she tells you.

Do you have the passcode to her phone? Get Dr Fone Wondershare. All you need is to do a backup with her phone but you'll need her passcode as iTunes will ask you for it and then it takes about 5-8 minutes for the backup but all depends on how many pictures she has on the phone. Once you have the backup file you can then wait to look at all the messages, it will show her contacts, websites visited, who she called and when (and if outgoing or incoming). it will even show deleted imessages


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

@hantaei he has gone down that road before, i believe twice. I believe his last post from quite awhile agp she was out the door or shape up and she was begging to stay. This post seems to indicate a faise R. Something for you to consider. Might be well worth reading his past post for both him and you.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

Yup, sucks when people get stuck in the situation OP is in. Heart and head going different directions. 

OP, you already know the answer. If you really want this to get the best way possible given the past here's how I'd handle it.

I would have everything lined up at home. All her stuff packed and in the garage on a day she leaves for work.

As soon as the movers have all her stuff boxed I would text her. Make sure you have the VAR in her car.

"Dear, do you remember when you lied to me about going to a friends house but instead you went to a bar? Well now it's my turn to do something unexpected. I filed for divorce from you and your things are packed and waiting for you in the garage. I want you out of my life".

It will be the most liberating thing you can do and it puts you totally in the drivers seat. Plus you'll get the whole play by play on the VAR. She'll be in a state of panic because from that moment on she no longer has the power. 

I know you're hurting but you need to get in front of this. File for divorce as part of the confront. 

Good luck.



JohnA said:


> @hantaei he has gone down that road before, i believe twice. I believe his last post from quite awhile agp she was out the door or shape up and she was begging to stay. This post seems to indicate a faise R. Something for you to consider. Might be well worth reading his past post for both him and you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Well, so long as the results are accurate.

I remember my wife and I laughing because although we were sat together in a pub having a meal our phones said that my wife was in a shop in a different street and that I was in the street outside the pub, a substantial distance, as it is a large pub.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Fair enough MattMatt. Hey a BS allowed to change their mind and file, and that is fair. Even if the WS is trying. I get a WS had honest issues to one degree or another but it's the adultery that is not fair, not saying I regret it is not going to work. 

Sports fan are you ready to drop the mike like weltschmerz? 

Dropping the mike (I dud not write, posted by another)*


Do it for you. Trust me, at some point you are going to wish that you had that moment to just call her out on her cheating. I mean a simple opener like, "Since you felt guilty about the things you did with the true love of your life while we were married, I want to set you free."*

I am a fan of "dropping the mike". A euphemism here for saying all that needs to be said. A quick, cool, and calculated confrontation followed by a plan of action is the most devastating thing you can do. AFTER YOU HAVE HIRED THE LAWYER and followed their advice on locking down finances, etc.*

If you are allowed to separate the money early, get what ever keepsakes you want ready to take, get credit cards separated and no longer joint obligations so she can rack up debt, etc., do it. She will go for the credit cards to hire a lawyer and they need to be cancelled. That can happen in a day or two before you drop the bomb. Same with bank accounts, and lines of credit. Then Drop the mike.

Seriously, with the confrontation she is shocked at discovery, with the divorce filed she is rocked with immediate consequences, and with none of your money to use against you, she is already in the losing position. If she has her own money, fine. She just can't use yours against you. That is how the "mike is dropped"

Hat tip to @farside ?*


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## mcquestion (Jan 8, 2016)

Sports Fan said:


> Just wanting to know how i can track the last locations from my wifes Iphone.
> 
> 
> She was there for 1 and half hours. I have screen shots and have emailed them to a private account.


when I was trying to figure out my wife’s shenanigans, I checked her find my friend location when she should have been going to work. 

It showed her in a residential area….but like in someone’s backyard, well away from the houses, for almost an hour. Very weird (it was cold day). 

But, I had a VAR in her car, and it proved she was driving work at that time, on a work conference call. Somehow the iphone picked a weird location and stuck there.

I've seen similar thing happen, so the location system isn't 100%.

but yeah, time to monitor.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

Yup, at this point he needs to line himself to get the best advantage he can.

OP, it will liberating when you call her out and the say, "Oh by the way I'm divorcing you, BUH-BYE".

Using tsunami tactics as John described is exactly what you need to do.



JohnA said:


> Fair enough MattMatt. Hey a BS allowed to change their mind and file, and that is fair. Even if the WS is trying. I get a WS had honest issues to one degree or another but it's the adultery that is not fair, not saying I regret it is not going to work.
> 
> Sports fan are you ready to drop the mike like weltschmerz?
> 
> ...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The problem is not "once a cheater, always a cheater."

The problem is: "Once a cheater, always a suspected cheater."

It is like an idiot I once met who was illiterate and who tattooed his name on his forehead. By using a mirror to do the job, copied from a piece of paper that someone else had written his name on for him.

This means that, forever, he will be known as someone who is illiterate and an idiot, at that.

Your wife might as well have tattooed "cheater" on her forehead, because every time she is apparently somewhere other than she should be or said she was, or whenever she is late, you think: "Is she cheating, again?"


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Again, the same thing I've been harping on, just because you "take them back" doesn't mean they have anything left for you. If she's running on a low romantic tank, she going to looking for somewhere to have it filled. (and it likely won't be at your station)


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Does she know that you have the Find my iPhone app on her phone? If so, she’d be pretty stupid to go somewhere else than where she said she was. 

I know that app is on my phone. But I generally don’t go anywhere I don’t say I’m going. Yesterday I went to Menards which is where my husband knew I was going. Menards didn’t have what I wanted so I traveled about 3 miles to Wal-Mart. In what is becoming pretty much second nature, I had sent J a text that said “Menards didn’t have the starters – I’m running to Wal-Mart, do you remember where we saw them last time we were there?” Had I not sent him that text and he checked FMI he may have thought I was “up to something”, but then again in our town where Menards and Wal-Mart are located there really isn’t anything else but sit down restaurants and other shops like Target, Home Depot, Lowes, Best Buy. Nothing like a bar or even houses to raise any kind of red flag I’d suppose.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> *Does she know that you have the Find my iPhone app on her phone?* If so, she’d be pretty stupid to go somewhere else than where she said she was.
> 
> I know that app is on my phone. But I generally don’t go anywhere I don’t say I’m going. Yesterday I went to Menards which is where my husband knew I was going. Menards didn’t have what I wanted so I traveled about 3 miles to Wal-Mart. In what is becoming pretty much second nature, I had sent J a text that said “Menards didn’t have the starters – I’m running to Wal-Mart, do you remember where we saw them last time we were there?” Had I not sent him that text and he checked FMI he may have thought I was “up to something”, but then again in our town where Menards and Wal-Mart are located there really isn’t anything else but sit down restaurants and other shops like Target, Home Depot, Lowes, Best Buy. Nothing like a bar or even houses to raise any kind of red flag I’d suppose.


I could be wrong, but I don't believe the app has to be on the device that you're looking to track in order to locate it using FMI.

Not so w/ the FMF app, though.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> I could be wrong, but I don't believe the app has to be on the device that you're looking to track in order to locate it using FMI.
> 
> Not so w/ the FMF app, though.


Oh I thought Find my iPhone had to be on the actual phone that you were trying to track. I have no idea. Don't know much about the app other than that it is on my phone and I came home one time and my husband had the locator open on his phone, tracking where I was. I assumed it was "attached" to my phone, giving out a signal back to his phone as to where I was. 

Otherwise - I'm not too tech savvy LOL.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

I DO know though that the location services on iPhones don’t always work. I ask Siri for directions all the time because I’m geographically challenged. I can’t count the times it’s told me I was at my destination when I was really about a mile away. One particular friends house had Siri telling me I had arrived, when I was literally in the street next to someone elses backyard at least a half mile away. It took me an extra half hour and lots of turn arounds for me to actually finally figure out where I was going.

Could be a similar issue, same as @MattMatt said. Hopefully that’s all it is!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> I DO know though that the location services on iPhones don’t always work. I ask Siri for directions all the time because I’m geographically challenged. I can’t count the times it’s told me I was at my destination when I was really about a mile away. One particular friends house had Siri telling me I had arrived, when I was literally in the street next to someone elses backyard at least a half mile away. It took me an extra half hour and lots of turn arounds for me to actually finally figure out where I was going.
> 
> Could be a similar issue, same as @MattMatt said. Hopefully that’s all it is!


There are times when it's off a bit (sometimes quite a bit more), and even for a semi-extended period of time (i.e. 10-30 minutes or more).

Seems to affect FMF more so than FMI. I'm sure that there's an "under the hood" reason for this, but I have no direct insight into that.

That said, when you think about everything that has to be in place in order for triangulation to work, it makes sense that you'd see an anomaly every now and then. When this happens, I'd say 9 time out of 10 that it's probably an issue w/ one of the carrier towers, an antenna on the tower, etc.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

There is a Find iPhone app that is preinstalled on iOS 9 and can not be deleted. Early versions it was a separate download. It let's you see devices using your Apple ID. IIRC one can also see devices on a website with the correct password.

Find My Friends is separate app and download. Normally it allows one to openly share one's location with "Friends" you select.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

@Sports Fan

DUMP HER MAN.....

How long you going to play Magnum PI for?

How long are you going to be codependent on this liar?

When are you going to accept that this is a one sided relationship?

Who cares where she's been? Who cares who she's with or what she's doing?

DUMP HER AND BE DONE WITH IT. 

You will NEVER be able to trust her and she has NO respect for you.

STOP being a her FOOL and start healing. Time to put your big boy pants on bucko.

File for divorce NOW! Free yourself from your self imposed purgatory.

DUMP HER!


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I have had a few times when my location was not correct on my phone. It does happen. Can't say I recall it lasting an hour and a half though. 

The odds that it placed her at a bar in error for that length of time. Slim I would think. 

Does she pay for things with a credit card? You may be able to see a charge from the shopping center or bar online if you have access to a joint credit card. 

Definitely put a var in the car. You have already tipped her off so she will be careful but may be discussing that you almost caught her with someone.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Yeah, I remember your story SF. Reread the original OP to make sure. I was hoping everything was cool. I hope this is just some simple stuff and a slight overreaction because of her previous "everything but the smoking gun" line of behavior. Don't need another "wife plays games" thread like Tador's recent revelation.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

My husband, two older kids and I have each other as friends on the FMF app. Most of the time it is spot on. It's not going to give you an exact address but give you a general area. If the OP's wife says she's at the gym but she's at the restaurant next door, it's not going to help him.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I'm having a hard time with the "no parking at the gym" excuse.


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## sparrow555 (Jun 27, 2015)

After looking at the last thread..


Do you enjoy the chase and catching her in lies more than your sanity ?


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

soccermom2three said:


> I'm having a hard time with the "no parking at the gym" excuse.


I used to go to the local Y. The gym is MASSIVE, with a massive parking lot. BUT, they also have swim lessons there, basketball teams practice there, they have an adult volleyball league, a daycare and also community events there. I've gone there several times where there literally isn't a parking spot in the place. And due to where it is located, there aren't other parking lots that you can park in and walk over. Although, if I drove around enough I could usually find SOMEONE coming out of the building leaving so that I could take their parking spot. But sometimes that took 10-15 minutes because there would be other people pulling in the parking lot looking for a space too and I wasn't always the only one "stalking" a parking spot.

BUT, in the many, many years I belonged there, I only left due to frustration of not finding a parking spot once, possibly twice. Other times I would go tanning down the road and then come back in hopes that it had gotten less busy and a spot had opened up. 

I find the excuse flimsy only for the fact that most people that go to the gym regularly usually let NOTHING stand in their way of their workout.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

BetrayedDad said:


> DUMP HER MAN.....
> 
> How long you going to play Magnum PI for?
> 
> How long are you going to be codependent on this liar?


If you notice, some guys have a lower bar than others about a bearable, let alone a satisfying, marriage. With some if they can keep her around and her britches up because she knows he's constantly monitoring her activities, its good enough.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> There are times when it's off a bit (sometimes quite a bit more), and even for a semi-extended period of time (i.e. 10-30 minutes or more).
> 
> Seems to affect FMF more so than FMI. I'm sure that there's an "under the hood" reason for this, but I have no direct insight into that.
> 
> That said, when you think about everything that has to be in place in order for triangulation to work, it makes sense that you'd see an anomaly every now and then. When this happens, I'd say 9 time out of 10 that it's probably an issue w/ one of the carrier towers, an antenna on the tower, etc.


Tower problem! Yes. That'd do it!

I recall a time when the local tower was out after a storm and the mobile phone / cell phones were trying to pick up signal from a tower that was quite distant. 

Messed up several features, including GPS, etc.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Brief update. So i got home and played it cool. She had already left for the Gym so wasnt able to install VAR in her car. Will do that tonight.

I did get a hold of her phone for 5 minutes this morning. Frequent locations had not showed up yesterdays results and yes it was turned on.

I have confirmed that she did meet up with supposed friend for half hour, she bought a pair of earings at 12,30pm as per bank statement, then 1.15pm until 2.45pm is the times in questions.

At this stage it would seem that she met someone by chance in the shopping centre that she knew after friend had gone back to work then they took off for a drink. Why would she lie? I only have one condition she knows wont be tolerated. Male friends. She can buy, and go out wherever she likes, just no males. I'm gathering she ran into a male friend that she knew at the shopping centre then they took off for a drink. Its the only logical explanation for her telling me she was shopping when quite clearly she wasnt. 

Time will tell. Patiently monitoring. Am also looking into purchasing Dr Phone Wondershare. Gus could you pm me how it works.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Sports Fan said:


> Brief update. So i got home and played it cool. She had already left for the Gym so wasnt able to install VAR in her car. Will do that tonight.
> 
> I did get a hold of her phone for 5 minutes this morning. Frequent locations had not showed up yesterdays results and yes it was turned on.
> 
> ...


I feel bad for you. It must really suck to not be able to trust the one person you dedicate your life to. Is it really worth it?


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

TX-SC said:


> I feel bad for you. It must really suck to not be able to trust the one person you dedicate your life to. Is it really worth it?


Yes sucks big time. It is worth gathering proof, as i have young children and wont be made the scape goat if i find decieving behavour and i initiate divorce.

Cheaters have a habbit of blaming their spouse and creating lies to family and friends.

If i have proof i will do exposure so she cant lie. She just rang as i was typing. Apparantly she bought me an expensive gift


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Sports Fan said:


> Cheaters have a habbit of blaming their spouse and creating lies to family and friends.
> 
> *Absolutely true*
> 
> If i have proof i will do exposure so she cant lie. She just rang as i was typing. Apparantly *she bought me an expensive gift*


To ease her guilt perhaps... See if she throws some extra sex your way in the very near future as well.


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

How far is the shopping center from the bar?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

Can you check your own phone location using fMI? If you can, go to the bar and check from there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Tobyboy said:


> How far is the shopping center from the bar?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


5 minute walk


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Tobyboy said:


> Can you check your own phone location using fMI? If you can, go to the bar and check from there.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Will do. Must say i checked location yesterday when i knew she would be picking up the kids from school. Bang on accurate.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Were you tracking her location as she was entering or leaving the bar/shopping center?

When you suspect that FMI may be reporting a false location, take note of any movement before and after.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Were you tracking her location as she was entering or leaving the bar/shopping center?
> 
> When you suspect that FMI may be reporting a false location, take note of any movement before and after.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Gus took several screen shots of location over the time period. For the most part she was located at the bar then at a restuarant near the bar for 25 minutes. After that she picked up the kids from school and have screen shots of that too.

Am really interested in how Dr Phone Wondershare works if you can help via PM. Thanks


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Sports Fan said:


> Gus took several screen shots of location over the time period. For the most part she was located at the bar then at a restuarant near the bar for 25 minutes. After that she picked up the kids from school and have screen shots of that too.
> 
> Am really interested in how Dr Phone Wondershare works if you can help via PM. Thanks


If you can recover her deleted texts that'll tell you what you need. Have you checked your phone bill online?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Sports Fan said:


> Gus took several screen shots of location over the time period. For the most part she was located at the bar then at a restuarant near the bar for 25 minutes. After that she picked up the kids from school and have screen shots of that too.
> 
> Am really interested in how Dr Phone Wondershare works if you can help via PM. Thanks


Look through the "Standard Evidence Post" thread here in CWI for any of my posts that mention "WDF", "Wondershare", or "Dr. Fone" as relates to an iPhone.

If you don't find anything of value I'll put something together, but it will take a while.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Does your wife have snapchat or something similar to that loaded on her phone?

Get the VAR in place as planned.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

workindad said:


> Does your wife have snapchat or something similar to that loaded on her phone?


WDF will recover from some of those apps.

iPhone Backup Extractor, as I recall, gets even more, but parsing through some of the data can be a challenge.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Are you seriously going to do this again?

SF, how many times does she have to be less than truthful for you to end this?

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

The investigating and policing will eventually get so exhausting and emotionally draining that you finally will have enough of it and go to the next phase -- ACTING on the evidence.

Good luck to you.

A cheating wife, such as my ex was, can get really clever about hiding their tracks.

She would go to the mall on a Wednesday and buy stuff to use as a cover on Saturday. She would leave the packages in her car, me not even knowing she had been to the mall. then on Saturday announce she is going shopping and leave for hours, me home with the kids.

Then she would go screw the jerk and be gone for hours. 

When she would get home? she would have the requisite shopping bags from the "mall trip."

She revealed this sneaky trick years after the fact.

Your wife sounds like she relies on the garden-variety gaslighting techniques of denial and attack you for even thinking she is off doing anything.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Not trying to thread-jack, but you say that if she had run into a female friend and then went to the bar for a drink or two....that's ok.....but you say then she went to pick up the kids? 

Along with whatever other issues are going on, who she was with, where she was - are you not bothered by the fact that she was possibly drinking prior to driving your children around?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LosingHim said:


> Not trying to thread-jack, but you say that if she had run into a female friend and then went to the bar for a drink or two....that's ok.....but you say then she went to pick up the kids?
> 
> Along with whatever other issues are going on, who she was with, where she was - are you not bothered by the fact that she was possibly drinking prior to driving your children around?


That shows a lack of thinking and an inability to function properly as an adult.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Or alcoholism


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

LosingHim said:


> Not trying to thread-jack, but you say that if she had run into a female friend and then went to the bar for a drink or two....that's ok.....but you say then she went to pick up the kids?
> 
> Along with whatever other issues are going on, who she was with, where she was - are you not bothered by the fact that she was possibly drinking prior to driving your children around?





MattMatt said:


> That shows a lack of thinking and an inability to function properly as an adult.


Or alcoholism


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

michzz said:


> Or alcoholism




From a drink or 2 to alcoholism? Drama much? Good lord.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

michzz said:


> Or alcoholism





Elizabeth001 said:


> From a drink or 2 to alcoholism? Drama much? Good lord.





MattMatt said:


> That shows a lack of thinking and an inability to function properly as an adult.





LosingHim said:


> Not trying to thread-jack, but you say that if she had run into a female friend and then went to the bar for a drink or two....that's ok.....but you say then she went to pick up the kids?
> 
> Along with whatever other issues are going on, who she was with, where she was - are you not bothered by the fact that she was possibly drinking prior to driving your children around?


Nope, not the drink or two as evidence. That plus deciding to drive to pick up the kids AFTER "could be" a sign of reduced judgment based on drinking.


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## z_man (Nov 1, 2013)

michzz said:


> A cheating wife, such as my ex was, can get really clever about hiding their tracks.
> 
> She would go to the mall on a Wednesday and buy stuff to use as a cover on Saturday. She would leave the packages in her car, me not even knowing she had been to the mall. then on Saturday announce she is going shopping and leave for hours, me home with the kids.
> 
> ...


Holy Fvck! Learn something new everyday.

Only way to combat that is access to credit card and banking statements.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

michzz said:


> The investigating and policing will eventually get so exhausting and emotionally draining that you finally will have enough of it and go to the next phase -- ACTING on the evidence.
> 
> Good luck to you.
> 
> ...





z_man said:


> Holy Fvck! Learn something new everyday.
> 
> Only way to combat that is access to credit card and banking statements.


She would use cash, get rid of receipts.

Best course was to just get away from her. The multiple threads of deception and disrespect are not worth staying with such a person.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> Not trying to thread-jack, but you say that if she had run into a female friend and then went to the bar for a drink or two....that's ok.....but you say then she went to pick up the kids?
> 
> Along with whatever other issues are going on, who she was with, where she was - are you not bothered by the fact that she was possibly drinking prior to driving your children around?


Of course it bothers me. Unfortunately when posting on a thread it does not usually cover every feeling we feel.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> If you can recover her deleted texts that'll tell you what you need. Have you checked your phone bill online?


Her phone is in her name so i dont have access to her online bill


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Sports Fan said:


> Her phone is in her name so i dont have access to her online bill


How nice. Does she keep passwords In a file anywhere?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Sports Fan said:


> Her phone is in her name so i dont have access to her online bill


I realize that hindsight is nearly always 20/20, and I'm not necessarily looking to kick you while you're down, but dude...

...that should've been at the very top of your list of demands during your last turn w/ all this crap.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> I realize that hindsight is nearly always 20/20, and I'm not necessarily looking to kick you while you're down, but dude...
> 
> ...that should've been at the very top of your list of demands during your last turn w/ all this crap.


Gus i didn't make a big deal of it cause i had webwatcher on it. However im not totally happy with that program.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

K I can be an insensitive pr1ck, or alpha at times, or whatever... but I would block her path, say "sorry hon, I'm triggering but it's not your fault, but I need to see your phone and know what our been up to."

No explanations needed.

If there was a prior A, then WW has to accept that you will have issues from time to time and sh should freely accommodate them. Particularly if you preface it with the notion that it's just a trigger and nothing more.

Then if it's locked - just ask for the password. If she won't provide it, then you're done.

Sorry to be so black and white but a marriage means going out of your way to make your spouse feel safe. Otherwise recognize you don't have a marriage worth saving.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Have you considered canceling credit cards, all but one, so you can track that one?


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

Sports Fan said:


> Just wanting to know how i can track the last locations from my wifes Iphone.
> 
> A few things have raised my red flags. *She has been getting stuck into me a lot lately,* then today she claimed she was going to the gym then rang to say she couldnt find parking so was meeting a friend that works close by.


I dunno Sports Fan. Not the only red flag, as above. 
Seems like so many different changes of plan in a short time. I wouldn't bother meeting a friend if friend only had half hour lunch. Why not go straight to the shopping centre. Don't like her buying you something 'expensive' either. 

Also you can get a lot of info with Dr Fone, iPhone extractor etc from her backup on iTunes. Including locations I think & deleted messages. Does she back up often? When you do a backup, it overwrites the previous one. So I used to copy the backup and paste it elsewhere so I had all backups. Then when you use Dr Fone etc, you got to rename the new one and rename the old one back as backup to extract data as that's how Dr Fone recognises it. As far as I can remember. Been a while. 

Don't know your story. Will read it. I'd spend some time evidence gathering for proper confront - patience required & get a free legal consult. And get your head around financials, custody etc to get an idea of what the upshot would be if you D. 

Tough when you have young kids, how many? how old?


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

turnera said:


> Have you considered canceling credit cards, all but one, so you can track that one?


Turnea we only have the one Joint account that i deposit money into as she is a stay at home. 

I have my own Credit Cards etc without her added to them. 

The only account we share is the joint one. If i find out something sinister i wont hesitate to take the money from the joint account.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

********** said:


> I dunno Sports Fan. Not the only red flag, as above.
> Seems like so many different changes of plan in a short time. I wouldn't bother meeting a friend if friend only had half hour lunch. Why not go straight to the shopping centre. Don't like her buying you something 'expensive' either.
> 
> Also you can get a lot of info with Dr Fone, iPhone extractor etc from her backup on iTunes. Including locations I think & deleted messages. Does she back up often? When you do a backup, it overwrites the previous one. So I used to copy the backup and paste it elsewhere so I had all backups. Then when you use Dr Fone etc, you got to rename the new one and rename the old one back as backup to extract data as that's how Dr Fone recognises it. As far as I can remember. Been a while.
> ...


Thanks for the advice. Very sound and appreciated. Twin girls. Yes it is very tough and i will be patient and thorough with evidence gathering.

I want to ensure that she has no room to make me the scape goat to friends and family if i discover anything that will prompt me to seperate.

Truth be said i am growing very tired of her childshish tantrums and never taking responsbility for things.

My wife has had it very easy up until now. She is a stay at home and i pay for everything. I dont care if she goes out with the girls, what she buys etc. I only have one condition. No friends of the opposite sex.

If i find out she has violated that condition it will be over.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

TheTruthHurts said:


> If there was a prior A, then WW has to accept that you will have issues from time to time and sh should freely accommodate them. Particularly if you preface it with the notion that it's just a trigger and nothing more.


It's one of those times I can't contain myself so I'm going to go ahead and say it. It's almost unbelievable how some men, and especially betrayed husbands, are such puzzys they let their wives get away with secret passwords, refusing to reveal phone usage, etc., etc., even after they been stabbed in the back time and time again. 
When a previous cheating spouse is in reconciliation, they give up the "cloaked in secrecy" and privacy horse shyt. If the BS don't have the juice to enforce opening the books to examination, maybe they need to just accept their cowardliness and weakness and shut up about it.


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

Sports Fan said:


> Thanks for the advice. Very sound and appreciated. Twin girls. Yes it is very tough and i will be patient and thorough with evidence gathering.
> 
> I want to ensure that she has no room to make me the scape goat to friends and family if i discover anything that will prompt me to seperate.
> 
> ...


All you have to do is get into her phone account. The phone that you pay for!!! 

Get the account number/phone number and change the password. 

Does she have "cheating" apps on her phone?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Tobyboy said:


> All you have to do is get into her phone account. The phone that you pay for!!!
> 
> Get the account number/phone number and change the password.
> 
> ...


Her phone bill gets emailed. Next chance i get i will search for the email on her phone then email it to myself


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Sports Fan said:


> Her phone bill gets emailed. Next chance i get i will search for the email on her phone then email it to myself


Do you not have the password to the e-mail account? If not, that's a problem that should've been resolved during your last turn w/ this crap.

Not having the password will also hamper your attempts at sleuthing.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

No password needed when going through her Iphone. I have her phone code. A product of last time


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Sports Fan said:


> No password needed when going through her Iphone. I have her phone code. A product of last time


Dude. Come on...

Unless you're able to somehow magically gain _physical access_ to her phone while you're at work and she's at home (or literally anywhere else that means that her phone isn't within arm's reach of you at any given moment), that's worth basically nothing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

Here........Relytec.com
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Tobyboy said:


> Here........Relytec.com
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

I read your previous thread briefly. 
- happened fast with OM. You not there, she comes home with phone no & next thing 1st date. 
- wasn't she wearing her wedding ring, why did he ask if she was married? 
- playdate guy - stayed ALL day - waiting for your parents to leave to get time alone with her?
- she made sure you WEREN"T there & broke the 'no being alone with men' rule.

I think she needs lots of male attention & jumps on opportunities. BS have strong narcissistic streak. She's attractive? gets men's attention? or a flirt & puts out? 

Why don't you have full access to all her phone, passwords etc after last time?
No need for snooping. Tell her you're triggered by her getting stuck into you & you want passwords to see emails, texts etc so you feel OK. If answer is no then it's time for D. 

BTW, meeting single Dad behind your back means it was false R, up to that time anyway. 

Why is she not working now? She was in your first thread. Gives her lots of opportunity. 

Maybe nothing going on. Just the drudgery of R, though in your case it may be false R. Sorry!


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

********** said:


> Why is she not working now? She was in your first thread. Gives her lots of opportunity.


As if that would matter. If she was working she would have as much opportunities to start an affair as being a SAHM. Co-workers, customers, clients, bosses and there she could just as easily conceal it, working late, lunch break, going to "work" when in reality she has taken the day off etc.

If someone wants to cheat he/she will take any opportunity that presents itself.


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

rzmpf said:


> As if that would matter. If she was working she would have as much opportunities to start an affair as being a SAHM. Co-workers, customers, clients, bosses and there she could just as easily conceal it, working late, lunch break, going to "work" when in reality she has taken the day off etc.
> 
> If someone wants to cheat he/she will take any opportunity that presents itself.


True LOL @rzmpf. EAs break out easily at workplaces, my ex had one. My thinking was that he wouldn't need Find my Phone to know where she is. But you're right. WS will go to great lengths for the fix.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Quick update.

So last night i was sure i would catch my wife dead to rights lying. She rang me whilst i was on my way home from work. She stated that she would be going to the gym then she will be late home as she intended to go shopping.

I really thought bingo got you. I played it off cool wished her well in her gym class etc etc. I waited 45 minutes then activated find my iphone. It was giving me an address different to the gym a whole street away. I proceeded to the address an office building and waited there 45 minutes. The app was showing her location there throughout.

When it was time for her class to finish i made my way to the gym and waited at the entrance. I was ready for confrontation and to end the marriage right there once i had caught her not being there.

To my great surprise she was at the gym and the Iphone App was completely off. Even as i noticed her walking out of the gym i again activated the app which showed her at the wrong address.

Now i am in doubt as to how guilty she is of lying of whereabouts on Monday. I am aware that it is still possible that Monday's destination on the APP was accurate but it has left me with more reason to allow for the possibility that the app is not that accurate.

It has highlighted one thing though. Whether innocent or not once a cheater breaks trust it is gone for good.

I will be listening to the VAR later. I will keep discreetly monitoring the situation.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Sports Fan said:


> Quick update.
> 
> So last night i was sure i would catch my wife dead to rights lying. She rang me whilst i was on my way home from work. She stated that she would be going to the gym then she will be late home as she intended to go shopping.
> 
> ...


The next time you are having sex, discretely hide a Garmin GPS inside her. They are more accurate 

Of course I'm just joking. I'm not making light of this. I am actually quite happy that you found what you did. I'm hoping this all ends up being just a bad IPhone tracking issue and NOT cheating. I want this to, for once, be a happy resolution on this board.


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Terrible you have to resort to this BUT time will tell one way or the other

Question is

How much time can you keep this up.... or have too


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Sports Fan said:


> Quick update.
> 
> So last night i was sure i would catch my wife dead to rights lying. She rang me whilst i was on my way home from work. She stated that she would be going to the gym then she will be late home as she intended to go shopping.
> 
> ...


If I recall the details correctly, you now have no evidence that she's cheating at all. None.

You have to be more than careful. What if she is, in fact, innocent of the things you think she might be doing? You could be destroying your own marriage over nothing.

There's nothing wrong with sticking a VAR in her car. But be very very careful how you talk to her. And be prepared to give it all up if the VAR shows nothing.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

sidney2718 said:


> If I recall the details correctly, you now have no evidence that she's cheating at all. None.
> 
> You have to be more than careful. What if she is, in fact, innocent of the things you think she might be doing? You could be destroying your own marriage over nothing.
> 
> There's nothing wrong with sticking a VAR in her car. But be very very careful how you talk to her. And be prepared to give it all up if the VAR shows nothing.


Unfortunately due to her previous deception i triggered when find my iphone showed up different to what she stated.

However your advice is general is very wise and appreciated. Thank you


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Monitor a bit more, but if nothing shows up, it's time to be honest and really be all in or out if the marriage.

If you're in, fess up. I don't mean about spying - I mean about triggering. Figure out how to convey completely destroyed this makes you. Find a book or recourse that explains the toll this is taking in you.

Then ask her if she is in or out. That simple. If she's out - be glad she's honest. Then move on. If she's in, then it's on her to help rebuild your trust and to provide safety when you trigger. That means complete transparency - phone, email, etc.

Good luck


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## MenMarsWomenVenus (Nov 16, 2015)

These *****s all cheat, my wife probably did for years and left me almost losing my mind she was that good.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

How tiring, SF.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I hope things work out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

farsidejunky said:


> How tiring, SF.
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


Agreed.

This is no way for anyone to live a life. Life is too short to play parole officer to a spouse. I would rather live the remainder of my life with a good woman I can trust.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

bandit.45 said:


> Agreed.
> 
> This is no way for anyone to live a life. Life is too short to play parole officer to a spouse. I would rather live the remainder of my life with a good woman I can trust.


That!

And a good women you can thrust.


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

I like trussing a good women


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