# 20 years of abuse and control



## hollymarie (May 26, 2009)

what to do ,what to do I am scared...... however, My sanity,health and happiness is at a big risk... I feel there has to be a change... there is no communication AT ALL,,,, I can not talk to him he is a screamer.... I have been married my entire life. except for seven years and I was raising two boys alone with goals and dreams. Thats all gone now. and I can't seem to escape the depression, sadness and am not allowed any emotions with this husband of mine, Some-one please talk to me! I love him ,,,, but I no longer want to see him . Since we got together we have our own business and have been togather every day . he wont even leave for a minute. we stay in seperate rooms during the day and haven;t had an intimate relationship in a long long time years. But we sleep together. He
screams profanities at me in the middle of the night. and at 6am
he is ranting and raving and cursing trying to push my buttons.
I just want away Absence makes the heart grow fonder maybee I dont know .... want to seperate but he says its Divorce or nothing.... Please Respond


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## Screwed (May 26, 2009)

You really do need to get a divorce. This is not healthy and no one deserves to be screamed at. If you do not get out of this relationship you will suffer a slow death with all the fighting involved. Fighting like this can lead to coronary heart problems and a early death.


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## Sprite (Nov 3, 2008)

I feel for you. Although my husband didnt scream profanities at me, we had a lack of communication, respect, trust. It sounds to me like the relationship has become "comfortable" and you find yourself not living.,.but just coasting through life one day at a time.

YOU have to ask yourself, do you REALLY love him? or do you love the idea of the safeness the relationship brings? What makes him scream at you? Have you confronted him about this?

I know what you mean about the "divorce or nothing" part. Myhusband pulled the same thing on me when i mentioned a seperation to him. We never did get seperated tho. His thinking is that we wouldnt be able to work things out if we were living in different households. Which kind of makes sense NOW, but at the time it only pissed me off. He knew I was a stronger person than I believed myself to be, and he didn't want me to figure that out. He felt that if we did seperate, we would have been done...he didnt want that to happen, so he told me I would have to kick him out basically. Maybe he wants to work things out too.

I am in a 20 year marriage and have been controlled and mentally/emotionally abused for years...but, IF you do love him, there is still hope. It can be turned around IF HE is willing to work at it too. Do you know if he is willing?


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