# Long term separation...can you get back together?



## EnlightenMe (Dec 15, 2009)

I'm a 29 yr old woman that got married when I was 22. Our marriage was great until I was 25. We always had a different relationship to begin with because we each allowed the other to see other people or "open relationship" though that was only in theory until after we got married. I'll try to keep this simple and basic. Due to issues with a broken promise our relationship started to decline and finally exploded one night at a party where I made the mistake of sleeping with someone else. My husband and I had got in a fight that had him leaving me behind, where no one would take me home and I didnt have the money for a cab, and was entirely to messed up on alcohol, weed, and my first dealings with coke. Needless to say when I told him what happened the next day he freaked out. Had me leave for 5 days to decide if he wanted to work things out. When he decided he did it was then an emotional battle for the next 3 mo. I was uninvited to Christmas with his family and he left with our only car so I couldn't go to my own family. From there our relationship never got back on track and the next 2 yrs were a blur of fights and problems that led to my decision, supported by him and my family, to move out of state so that both he and I could get our heads on straight. It's been very good for me. I've matured and figured exactly what I want. The problem now is that he's in a relationship, I've had 2 boyfriends, and no matter that at least I would like to reconsile I wouldn't know where to start and even if its possible. 

So basically I'm looking for guidance. I would be happy to fill in any blanks if that would help on making an opinion. Or if anyone knows any stories of this sort of thing I would like to read them.


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

Has your Ex expressed any desire in reconciling and getting back together? If not, and he's committed to his current relationship, then it may not be possible.

On the other hand, you could send him a note/e-mail telling him your feelings to determine if he'd be open to meeting for dinner sometime and then see how he responds.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Out of curiousity, why now? 

What is, or isn't going on in your life that you want to return to your marriage?

If a 'do-over' is your goal, I wouldn't even entertain proposing it if he is in a relationship. Which begs the next question; given that you have both moved on, except for legally divorcing, why would you want to re-establish your marriage and what do you imagine that looking like?


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