# General question for the ladies from a guy



## helpmeunderstand (Dec 22, 2009)

Ladies, Right now I am going through a rough patch with my wife of 14 years and It got me thinking. Do you women find us guys as complicated and hard to understand as some of us guys find some women? I being a guy think us guys are are pretty simple uncomplicated and relatively easy to please, but is that just because I'm a guy? Are we sometimes as baffling to you as you are to us? I know I am generalizing here, but I am interested in a woman's perspective on this. So ladies tell me, are we simple to understand and please or am I full of BS?


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

I think that goes both ways, I think guys are not as open about their feelings so women try to guess a lot as to what you really are thinking and saying, I think from experience if men spoke my candidly it would be easier. Just my opinion but guys seem to be happy just living on the surface of life. It seems to be alright with them. My husband is like this, I find it frustrating at times.


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## helpmeunderstand (Dec 22, 2009)

> I think from experience if men spoke my candidly it would be easier. Just my opinion but guys seem to be happy just living on the surface of life. It seems to be alright with them. My husband is like this, I find it frustrating at times.


Jessi, that's and impressive insight and I would agree. I think with guys that for them to open up and express their feelings they have to be very comfortable (even more so with women). I know quite a few men that have shut down in their emotional relationship because its just easier and from an outside perspective that may look like they are just "Living life on the surface". 

Maybe we males are not as simple as we seam?


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Men are not complicated. It's just that the average woman doesn't think like a man, so a man's way of thinking is foreign to us. It seems backwards and just plain wrong.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

We are all just people regardless of our sex. We do not always know exactly what we want/think/need/feel. We have been acculturated so women are more comfortable talking about these things IN THE PROCESS of figuring out what is "true" at the bottom. Men often mistake this talking for a statement on what "is," and then get confused b/c an hour or day later, what "is" is something else. But since the talking is part of a process, that makes sense to us women that things will change.

As a generalization, men have been acculturated to stay quiet about feelings, so their process is silent and internalized. I suspect a lot of guys won't say anything until they believe they are sure of what they are thinking/feeling, etc. But, since they are human, those things they are "sure" of can change too. Hence, more confusion. 

None of this is fixed in stone and every person is an individual, which means we can each be anywhere on the spectrum from talkative to quiet--some men talk more than some women, for example, and some women stay silent while working things out for themselves. 

So of course we are all confused!!  BTW, I'd never assume any individual is uncomplicated. Nor would I assume that what they say is unchangeable. Safer bets, in my opinion. Let people be people!


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