# She does not care about the kids



## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

About 17 months ago my ex out of the blue one day left the state with my 3 children without telling me. 
There were no warning signs, we were married 18 years at that time and I was still very much in love with her.
For the first 2 weeks I had no idea where she had gone with the children, she would not answer my calls or call me back.
I was devastated and could not sleep fearing the worst, as any concerned parent would be.
Finally she contacted me and let me know what state they had moved to permanently. I attempted to reason with her over the phone but that did not seem to work nor would she tell me why she left.
She did not allow me to speak to my kids for over a month and once I did speak to them it was less than a minute each on speaker phone.
2 months after she left she said she would "allow" me access to my children if I were to come visit them. I drove to them and stayed for a week in a city near by (she did not want me to come to the town or even county they were staying at), the kids were so happy and relieved that I came to visit, during the visit she was all over me wanting to have sex daily. On the last night I was visiting I pleaded with her to return with the kids to our home state but she refused. She explained that she loved it here and had no desire in ever returning, she told me that if I were to close down my business and move to her new home state then she would continue to "allow" me access to the kids as long as I did not become involved with another woman.

I drove home filled with anguish leaving my kids behind, all the kids had asked to go home with me but she threatened that if I were to try and take them that she would call the police on me.

In the following 4 months we had many arguments over the phone and I became suspicious that she might be involved with another man. I hired a private investigator and within a week it appeared that she was seeing someone on daily basis but the investigator could not verify if there was an intimate relationship or just friendship.

During the 4 months following her leaving I had visited her and the kids 3 more times, each time driving more than 16 hours and staying a week at resorts to entertain the children who were living with her and her mother in a 800 square foot trailer with 5 dogs.

One day she called me and asked me to come get our 14 year old daughter because she can no longer deal with her. 
When I arrived to pick up my daughter she asked me for a divorce and told me that if I were not going to move to live in a city near by she was going to seek sole custody of the children and only allow me very limited access to the kids. 
My 2 younger children cried, begged and pleaded for me to take them but again she threatened me with the police, and since we were in a southern state with racist issues and since I was an outsider I felt it best that I not start something that could work against me in the long run.
Upon my return to my home state I contacted one of the best father's rights attorneys in the United States and setup a meeting.
I was told she was breaking the law in our state by removing the children without my consent and that I had every right to get a judge to order her returning the 2 remaining kids.

I spent the next 2 weeks trying to reason with her to no avail.

I was running out of time as I did not want jurisdiction to change to the state where she was living, after 6 months of her leaving I would have had to go to court in her state and that would have not worked well at all in the children's favor.
I hired the attorney and within 3 days we were in front a judge who issued an order of protection for the children against her and an order to my wife to surrender the children, ordering any and all law enforcement agencies to comply.
I drove again and after 3 days of dealing with the idiots in her county sheriff's department and getting the State Attorney General involved they finally made her give me the kids back and I drove them home.
The kids were so happy to leave and be home.
She showed up to the first hearing, the judge questioned her for over 2 hours to try and figure out why she moved like this, he asked her if I was abusive in any way, did I not provide for her and the children and all her answers were in my favor. The judge granted me custody of the children, refused her request for alimony or support. 
Outside the court house I told her I would move out and she could live with the children here at home if she wished, I just wanted to be able to see my children all the time. 

My intent was never to deprive her of the kids but I was not going to be deprived of them either. 

Since then she never came back to court, the divorce is final, she got no alimony and I have been granted sole custody of the children.

She never calls the kids, my youngest is 5 years old and he misses her at times. I have given her full access to the kids but she never comes to visit, the last time she saw them was 8 months ago the day after the first hearing.

I am still financially supporting her as she has not been able to keep a job and have been evicted several times. Her car broke down and I bought her another car to help her out. I still love her and think of her every day. Everytime I look at one of our kids I think of her. 

She finally told me a few weeks ago why she left, she said that she suspected that my business partner who happens to be a woman was my other woman.
I told her it was not true at all, my partner have been a great friend for years and during this whole mess, she was there for me and my kids and helped me out to no end.

I still want her back, I realize I am foolish for saying this but I still love her and cannot seem to be able to get over her.

She was a great mother to my kids till the day she moved them out of our beautiful home into that god forsaken town 1100 miles away.

I am here to vent folks, I have no relatives in the state and find it difficult to talk about this with my friends.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Stop funding her and let her find her own way. She went on a whim and assumed that you were having an affair and not only punished you but the kids.

She needs help granted but after what she did, the last thing you want to do is trust her in any way. 

She used your kids as a weapon which is really low and unacceptable and now that you have your children, your job is to provide them with the stability that they need and she needs to get a job, get help and if you want her in the kids life, prove that she can be honest with you and them and be the mother that she was supposed to be.

Until she can do that, then keep your guard up and stop babying her. She needs to grow up, take care of herself and start acting like and adult and a parent.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

I have tried to cut her off but then she calls and cries and tells me how her mother had kicked her out. She's had 4 jobs so far and got fired within 3 weeks each time. She always wanted to be a house wife and never learned any skills. It's hard to just turn my back on her after all these years but I made a decision few days ago to cut her off. I arrived at the conclusion. that if she has no mercy on her children then she does not deserve mercy. 
I hear about how she is out partying all the time with her new friends while I am here taking care of the children and working 60+ hours a week paying over 3 grand a month for a nanny to help me with the kids so I can keep my business running.
I spend a lot of quality time on the weekends with the kids and they seem very content without her, it really bothers me how they seem indifferent towards her absence.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

IF she does come back don't ever make the mistake of giving her the house and the kids. That would be very bad mentally for them. 

If she returns then SHE finds an apartment and gets some access to the kids but you keep them the majority of the time. 

She needs counseling, it sounds like she is in a free fall mentally.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

After she told you why she left, did you tell her that you would take her back? I'm just curious.

Since she seems to have abandoned the children, I think that just cutting her off is about all you can do.

My second husband's ex did something similar, in that she just walked away and left the children with him. (he was not cheating, she was) .

It was a year before she even really asked to see them. He got full custody. She did eventually get to have them for Christmas holiday and for 4 weeks in the summer. Other than that in the 15 years that I raised her children she came to visit them only 3 times for about a week each.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

You are right she does need professional help but she won't seek it. I doubt she will return I think she is looking for the right new fool who will carry her financially for the rest of her life. When the child support came up in court I told the judge I didn't want any and he lectured me that she must be held responsible for her children. The problem for me is she would end up in jail for not paying it and I don't want that for my kids mom.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

EleGirl I have never told her she was not welcome back, rather the opposite, I do want her in the kids lives. I have no issues sharing them with her if she returns but I have no desire of living with her at this point. The biggest hurdle in her coming is our 2 older kids want nothing to do with her, they don't even want to see her this summer.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Then just cut her off and let it go.

She probably cannot see the children if you don't finance it.

I don't get how she can do this. But I know that some people do.

You need to get on with your life and do well.

My real concern here? How are you doing? Do you have any social life? I don't necessarily mean are you dating. But do you have an active life with a good social group?


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

I definitely agree with what everybody's saying, you don't just leave on a whim, move to another state and essentially kidnap the kids. That's totally effed up. You got sole custody, now they're all yours and you're their father. She abandoned them. Completely. She does not deserve your financial help or anything else from you. I get that you love her, and probably will for a long time, myself and I'm sure everybody else on here have been hurt one way or the other by our exes but still love them and/or who they used to be. Your wife is gone. No sane person would spend that much time not seeing their kids, she needs some serious help, and you need to move on my friend. IMO be happy that your kids seem okay. They may need some help later on so be open and read for it, but for now, if they're genuinely happy, leave it at that. When kids are involved, we as parents have to take every freakin chance we can to see our kids happiness. Make them your concern, and forget about their Mom. She left on her own accord, accusing you of something she didn't even talk to you about, and took them miles and miles away. No spouse/parent deserves to have their partner do that. No child deserves to have a walkaway parent. This is yours. Make your children proud, help them be happy, and move on.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

No I don't have a life outside of work and the children. I have not seen any of my friends for months, there is just no time for me anymore, the kids are paramount, bad enough their mom abandoned them I am trying to fill the gap for them the best I can. If they are happy that's all that matters.


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

forthekids64 said:


> If they are happy that's all that matters.


Yes, yes and yes. However there is an exception. You're a full time Dad now. I'm learning that yes, you need to focus on your kids, hardcore, make sure they have a good and happy life. However, don't forget about yourself. Right now I can see my stbxw taking herself far above our kids as a priority, so don't do that. But you can't forget about taking care of yourself. YEs schedules are busy, no you don't need to go out every night, but find some sort of support group or church where you can get a babysitter if you don't have family or friends nearby who can help. You need time for yourself, otherwise you won't be the best Dad you can be for your kids.


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

This also may have been a long time coming, maybe something you were completely unaware of. See too many stories on here about how the wives just left "out of the blue", but a lot of times they think about it more and realize it was probably in the works for quite a while unfortunately. 

The whole moving to another state with the kids and not telling you? That's obviously too far, but when you really sit down and think about it, do you think there was any hints you can think of or maybe something you can think of now but may have missed before?

I can imagine working those long hours you may not have been as present for your marriage as you would've liked to be (def not making excuses for her behavior, but maybe that had something to do with it)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

forthekids64 said:


> No I don't have a life outside of work and the children. I have not seen any of my friends for months, there is just no time for me anymore, the kids are paramount, bad enough their mom abandoned them I am trying to fill the gap for them the best I can. If they are happy that's all that matters.


I get the full time single parent thing. I've been through it. But you have to start doing things. Thankfully there are things you can do with your children in tow. 

Get on Find your people - Meetup and find things in your area that you enjoy doing... take the children with you. You children will love it and you can start getting out and meeting people.

Do any of your friends have children? I used go with friend to places like the children's museum, we'd go out to lunch and dinner, etc. Dad's afternoon out sounds like a lot of fun. You can talk to your friends while all kids have fun together.

What are the events in your area for kids? Ask other dads you know to go with you and take their kids.

A good place to find friends who are in your save situation is Parents Without Partners There is a chapter in most places. They have a lot of events where you can take your children. 

Get out and start living more, even if it's with your kids in tow. You will become Mr. Cool Dad. Your kids will love it. You will be a lot happier.


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

Plus, if and when you're interested in potentially meeting other women, it never hurts to look like super dad with your kids in tow


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

I am having a great time with me kids. We do something every weekend, they are all doing great in school and are truly happy with being home. This is the only home they know and want. Naturally I have needs as a man, I am fit and would love to have a life but I am not ready to meet.women and complicating my life further at this point. This summer is going to be great for all 4 of us, we are going to.the west coast to visit with my family and in early August going to England for 2 weeks. I just hope in time I can get her out of my mind totally.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

You should have listened to the judge. The man has seen this time in and time out in his court room.

Maybe if she would stop partying all the time, she could hold down a job and be a productive person.

By letting her walk away unscathed, you haven't helped her in any way. She's a grown woman and needs to support her children and until she's force to face her demons and responsibilities, she'll never learn.

Stop feeling sorry for her. When you get that urge, just remember the day you came home and your family was gone with out a trace and what you had to go through just to see your children. 

She caused it. She abandoned you over a something that wasn't true and look what you had to do to get them back. She caused it. Just remember that when you decide to feel sorry for you and remember she sure as hell didn't feel anything for you or your feelings.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

You are right 6301, she is a hateful woman who does not deserve my love or sympathy. Your post brought back the anger in me when I came home and she had abducted our kids. The 2 weeks of agony not knowing where they were, calling every hospital and police department daily to make sure nothing happened to them. She is a wicked heartless person. Tonight when I went to put my 5 year old boy to bed he told me he loved me with all his heart and that I was the best daddy in the whole world. He put his head on my chest and fell asleep. It is the greatest feeling in the world.
I remember her telling me after she moved away that I had no rights to the children, since she is the woman and she is the one who carried them for 9 months and gave birth to them then breast fed them for 2 years each. That I was just the sperm donor and no court in the land would side up with me. She demanded that I give her money, and secure her a home in her new state so her and the kids could live there and that I could see them when it was convenient for her. 
The fact that I was in their lives every single day since they were born and was very close to them even though I worked many hours, yes I had to go to work to provide, we were a single income family and I was doing my duty taking care of her and our kids financially, to her that was nothing compared to the sacrifices she made.
I hope I can maintain how I am feeling right now, I hope I don't get up in the morning missing her, what is wrong with me? How can I miss such a hateful person? A woman who wants nothing but misery for me and our children.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You are normal. For some time your feelings will be up and down.

Her attitude about you owing her, being a sperm donor, etc. is just nonsense. It sounds like the kind of things a person would say when their entire goal is to hurt the other person. People do awful things to get revenge for whatever wrong doing that is real or imagined.

You say that she thought you were having an affair. How did she get that idea. it sounds to me like she was angry about the affair (imagined) so she lashed out by moving and taking the children. Then when you denied the affair she had backed herself into a corner and so is stuck there now.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

She never bothered to ask or even talk about it with me. Even though I denied the affair, she said me working with another woman is equal to being in an affair, huh???? I think my partner was just an excuse for her to leave, maybe she fell out of love with me, maybe she needed a change and didn't want to just the leave the kids behind. I can't figure her out for the life of me. She is like someone I don't know, I just can't believe how vicious she has become. From time to time she calls me and still demands that I b give her the kids back.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

forthekids64 said:


> She never bothered to ask or even talk about it with me. Even though I denied the affair, she said me working with another woman is equal to being in an affair, huh???? I think my partner was just an excuse for her to leave, maybe she fell out of love with me, maybe she needed a change and didn't want to just the leave the kids behind. I can't figure her out for the life of me. She is like someone I don't know, I just can't believe how vicious she has become. From time to time she calls me and still demands that I b give her the kids back.


How many hours a week did you work?

How many people work at your business? Is it just you and your partner? Did you spend more hours at work with your partner around then you did with your wife in a day? 

A lot of people would have a problem with their spouse working very closely with a person of the opposite sex. It’s a topic here on TAM often.

For some reason your wife was jealous of the time you spent working with your partner. It’s too bad that she did not talk with you before she decided to leave. 

I’m not attacking you in any way with the following, but only making an observation. You denying the affair means nothing. You see most people who cheat deny their affair when asked. Usually the betrayed spouse has to become a quite the spy to get proof of an affair. Denying an affair is not proof that an affair is not going on.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

I have worked 60 hours a week since before we had kids. My partner and I work 80 miles apart in 2 different offices. I rarely saw her, maybe once a month and it was always during business hours in the presence of our employees. She is jealous of the partnership because the partner is a woman. Silly really but I don't believe that is the real reason she left.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Is she still out of town?


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

Yes she only came back for the first hearing hoping for alimony. Not seen her kids since September.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

Our older son's bday came and went. No card, no gift and no call to wish him a happy birthday. He said nothing all day, he had a big day with lots of friends and gifts. In the evening he asked me if we.missed a call from mom. He looked so disapointed to find out she never even called. Some kind of a ***** huh?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

forthekids64 said:


> Our older son's bday came and went. No card, no gift and no call to wish him a happy birthday. He said nothing all day, he had a big day with lots of friends and gifts. In the evening he asked me if we.missed a call from mom. He looked so disapointed to find out she never even called. Some kind of a ***** huh?


Yes it's messed up. My step kids went through this when their mother walked out. I have nephews whose fathers did this. Sadly it's more common for a parent to just walk out on their kids and have little to no contact with them.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> I hope I don't get up in the morning missing her, what is wrong with me? How can I miss such a hateful person? A woman who wants nothing but misery for me and our children


I am no PHD but my guess is that you wanting her is your mixed up emotions that remembers the good times you had with her. In addition, you may think that her coming back will fix some of the pains. She cannot fix any pains and you maybe living in a hurt emotion fantasy world. I hope you do not t take that as a slam on you because many of us have had the same feelings. You are a very good man as evidenced by your actions and the fact that your children are very fond of you and very close to you. That says a LOT!!!

Your wife may have been a decent woman at one time but her actions that you have described prove that she isn’t a decent woman at all. *She has sacrificed her own children for her own selfishness and that is a HUGE black mark on her character that will never go away. *

In addition to what she has done to you she has been fired from her job many times and has never held a job for even one month. She cannot even get along with her mother and thinks that going out to party with her friends is her prefered life.

You wife does not even have concern for your oldest son on his birthday and probably not much concern for the rest of her children. *Your ex-wife is a molester your children’s emotions and she is very deep into selfishness and has a degrading character*.


I hope that you do not take these facts and as a reflection on you because you have proven with your actions that you are the opposite of your wife. Your ex-wife is a very broken woman and I would be very careful as to how much time you allow her with her children. I understand that the children may want their mother but be very careful. Watch closely and if she is a positive or even a neutral you can not be too concerned. However, if she is negative with the children then do every thing to cut her out; you cannot allow your children to be damaged any more by her


She may some day get better as many do. Sometimes the reason they get better is because they think that a change will be good for them without much concern for anyone lease. She may even get remorseful for what she has done and want to come back to you. That fact that you are successful and a good provider will also be a reason that she will want you. *As far as deep committed love she has proven that she does not have that.*

I know that your children are your whole word and that you will not let her harm them again. You are a very good man!

*I hope that your wife gets better but you need to look at the facts so that you do not get weak and desire her and then compromise*


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

*Re: Re: She does not care about the kids*



Mr Blunt said:


> I am no PHD but my guess is that you wanting her is your mixed up emotions that remembers the good times you had with her. In addition, you may think that her coming back will fix some of the pains. She cannot fix any pains and you maybe living in a hurt emotion fantasy world. I hope you do not t take that as a slam on you because many of us have had the same feelings. You are a very good man as evidenced by your actions and the fact that your children are very fond of you and very close to you. That says a LOT!!!
> 
> Your wife may have been a decent woman at one time but her actions that you have described prove that she isn’t a decent woman at all. *She has sacrificed her own children for her own selfishness and that is a HUGE black mark on her character that will never go away. *
> 
> ...


I cannot imagine deliberately neglecting one of my kids on their birthday. You are right though, she is a very selfish self centered woman. I have arrived at the conclusion that she's been broken from day one. I was just a.fool all these years not to see it and once the kids came along all I wanted was to preserve my family. She had other plans. I can comfortably say as a man I am over her I just feel terrible that my children ended up with a mother like this


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Your wife is mentally ill and should not be trusted with her children. 

Love or no love, please put your kids first. 

My mother was/is mentally ill and did this type of thing often. As a child it was terrifying. I beg of you to hire an attorney and get sole custody and only agree to supervised visits if she agrees to mental help. 

There is a reason your children are indifferent. Your wife is making their life hell and they are afraid. 

My dad protected me from my nutty mother and it literally saved my life. 

Please.... Separate your love for your wife for the sake of your children. They are two separate issues.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

*Re: Re: She does not care about the kids*



Rugs said:


> Your wife is mentally ill and should not be trusted with her children.
> 
> Love or no love, please put your kids first.
> 
> ...


You are right she is insane. I already have sole custody of the children and she won't be able to hurt them. 
This morning she called asking to speak to her son, she said she was too busy and forgot his birthday. I told her he was not available. She began screaming at me down the phone accusing me of alienating her. She then started sending me all kinds of threatening messages and nonsense.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

When does the insanity end? How do you give birth to 3 kids and not love them? If you love them, what kind of love is it?

After 14 months of her not seeing the children, due to her own choice, she asked me to bring them to visit her in Texas. I asked the kids and the 2 older ones did not want to see her, the 6 year old was eager to see her.
I talked my 2 older kids into going, I felt it would be good for them to see their mom and maybe they can get some feeling back for her.
She had insisted that we pick her up at some Gas Station because her mobile home is a mess and did not want us to see it. I found that to be a strange request but I agreed. We flew into town and had a rent-a-car waiting for us. We picked her up at the Gas station. 
The kids were reluctant to hug her, even my youngest boy who had been asking to see her seemed unsure once she was right in front of him.

When I saw her after 14 months, I honestly didn't know what to think or feel, on the flight, I was fantasizing about the times when we were younger and so in love, part of my stupid mind wanted to capture those moments again. Looking at her and getting a hug and a kiss felt like I was being mauled by a complete stranger and it felt very uncomfortable.
We got a nice hotel with a 2 bedroom suit, from the time we arrived at the Hotel she was all over me, in a creepy way, my oldest son was looking very uncomfortable. I did all I could to remain positive and pleasant, I wanted the kids to have a good visit. On the first night, I had gone to bed in the room with my boys and she slept in the other room with our daughter. Around 3 am, she crawled in bed with me and was naked. She tried really hard to get things going, and even though I was aroused I felt it would be wrong at this stage to doing anything with her so I softly declined. She said she understood and went back to her own room.

The next day we went out to Museums and did some shopping, later when the kids went to bed, me and her sat outside on the Balcony to enjoy the stars and the beautiful weather. She asked me about what was going on in my life and I was very careful not to discuss my private matters with her and kept the conversation mostly about the kids and work.
All of a sudden she starts asking me to help her out and that she needed to borrow $2000 to start a business since she had recently lost her job.
I told her that I would prefer not to involve money in our relationship as it only brings anguish to both of us, I told her I would prefer for us to be good friends and not bring money into it. She was not pleased with my answer, then she said she had something she wanted to tell me but wanted to tell me in person.
She asked me if I was familiar with S&M, I told her that I was but never participated in it. Oh you don't know what you are missing, she says, I am now becoming an advanced Slave and working on my 2nd Master.
I asked her to stop, I told her that it was nothing that I wanted to hear about and that its not appropriate for us at this point to be discussing our sex lives.
She proceeded to tell me more, how the lashings can take 2 to 3 hours followed by intense anal sex and absolute humiliation and control, that it was her consistent fantasy since she was 15 years old. I could not take more of her story telling and I went to bed.
In the morning I woke up feeling very uneasy, feeling angry and betrayed. She was still asleep, I went to the lobby and had some coffee and tried distracting myself by reading the news paper.
Later at breakfast, she kept trying to play footsie with me under the table. I was disgusted to be sitting with her and having breakfast. All I wanted to do was to fly home and end this nightmare. I was very upset, why did she need to tell me all this? I never asked her about her romance or sex life, I really didn't want to know. I took my older son to the store to pick a few items and she stayed with 2 other kids at the Hotel Pool. While shopping she sent me a message asking if I was angry with her. I did not respond because I did not want to give her room to start an argument. Then she sent me more messages bragging about the size of her master's penis and how he has her tied up in certain positions for hours but she made sure and told me that she had no feelings for him and that they never kiss or make love.

I went back to the Hotel dreading having to see her again, I swallowed my pride kept my mouth shut, I don't love her anymore, I have moved on but it still bothered the hell out of me. This was going to be our last evening and we were to drop her off in the morning at the gas station so we can then head to airport and catch our flight home. That evening she came up to me and lifted her dress and showed me the inside of her left thigh, it had my name tattooed right next to her privates. She already had 2 tattoos with my name on her body, but she got this one supposedly a month ago.

She told me she loved me very deeply and that I am the only man she can ever love. She tried again that night to crawl into bed with me to make love but I did not go for it. 

In the morning my youngest boy struggled really bad parting with his mother again but I was able to comfort him on the flight home.

We arrived home, this was yesterday. She sent me a text message saying that she is going to be with her hung master tonight, she asked if I wanted to see pictures of them going at it. I thanked her and declined, she never asked me how the kids did on the flight or anything.

I am hurting bad tonight, I have a gorgeous very loving new woman in my life now but I am hurting bad folks.



ps I decided to block her # from my smartphone but texts are still coming through.


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## justastatistic (May 16, 2014)

Oh c'mon mods, this isn't a troll????


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

How is this a troll exactly? I am going through a bad experience and I post about it, makes me a troll?


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## abart (Aug 5, 2014)

she is bloody crazy


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

Today, a few day after my kids and I returned from the nightmare visit, she texts me apologizing for her actions, saying that everything she told me regarding S&M and sex were all lies, she only wanted to get me to react :scratchhead:

>>Hi, I can't seem to reach you on the phone
>>Are you still mad at me?
>>I am very sorry for all the horrible things I said
>>You should know me better I couldn't do those things
>>I only wanted to get a reaction I want you to love me again
>>I am so sorry please call me

I didn't know what to think or how to respond, I just wished she would vanish and never contact me ever again.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Re: She does not care about the kids*



forthekids64 said:


> Today, a few day after my kids and I returned from the nightmare visit, she texts me apologizing for her actions, saying that everything she told me regarding S&M and sex were all lies, she only wanted to get me to react :scratchhead:
> 
> >>Hi, I can't seem to reach you on the phone
> >>Are you still mad at me?
> ...


BSC.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

BSC?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Bat Sh!t Crazy. Did she show you the tattoo or just tell you about it? Either way, very strange. Sorry you are in this situation, brother, but it had to be better than living with her.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Heavy story to share.

She is deep in the psychic torment of a disordered person.

The S&M story must be true if anything is true. You couldn't make it up.

If she wanted to fix her life, she would move closer to you and get a job and see her children regularly.

She isn't going to survive.


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## leon1 (Sep 3, 2014)

Do you have to stay in contact with her for the kids sake ,and im sure there are apps you can use to block her texts .


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

leon1 said:


> Do you have to stay in contact with her for the kids sake ,and im sure there are apps you can use to block her texts .


No, I am not required to have any contact with her, due to her abducting the children in 2013 & previous mental health issues, the Court gave me Sole Custody with full control over visitation. I don't even have to let her see the kids, I am still sympathetic with her being a mother and in some pathetic way I still feel sorry for her. However at this point I am thinking long and hard about completely stopping her from contacting the kids, how do I know what she might say to them, after all, it seems the only thing occupying her mind is finding ways to hurt me.

@Long Walk, I agree man, I am sure there is truth to the story, she may have exaggerated to try and burn me especially with the Anal Sex bit, since that was a sore topic when we were together. At that time she would always tell me how much she wanted it but always refused to do it with me because it was too painful. Sharing my story here is the only relief I have, I simply can't tell my friends and family what is going on, I thank god she is living 1300 miles away, at least none the people I care about are being effected by her insanity. As far as fixing her life, I doubt that will happen, I dread the day I get the phone call that she was found dead due to an over dose or suicide.

@Farsidejunky, yes she lifted her skirt and showed me the tattoo and you are right I am better off without her.


The worst part in all this is watching someone I deeply loved at one point and still care about now completely destroy themselves and trying to destroy me and her kids in the process.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Kids need their mother. Do not deny them contact.

Do you have contact with your former in-laws? You should tell them about the situation, minus the sex stuff. Just say that she needs health care.

I can understand that you don't want her around. Mentally ill people become homeless and die outside. That's what happens in reality.

If you could find some halfway house in your community, it might be possible for her to move home.

My brother, who died of schizophrenia, got a really nice apartment through a program. He managed to work for quite a few years before he went off meds and never made it back.

If you tell your ex that you are never going be together again but you want to see her get on her feet, that would be a big and risky step. You could request that she get a psychiatric evaluation.


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## leon1 (Sep 3, 2014)

You should set new rules with her , tell her she can only call or text you if it is to do with the kids .Sounds like she was telling the truth about her sexlife but telling you didnt work out the way she wanted, so now she is trying to play it off as lies .


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

LongWalk said:


> Kids need their mother. Do not deny them contact.
> 
> Do you have contact with your former in-laws? You should tell them about the situation, minus the sex stuff. Just say that she needs health care.
> 
> ...


She does not need a halfway house, she can move right back into our house, I never sold it, my kids and I live in a different house now. Her car is still here and I keep it maintained and I would provide for her, my only condition is continuous psychiatric treatment and sticking to medication. When she was on med, she did very well, the drama stopped and it was easy to reason with her. She is telling me that S&M is treatment for her condition per the guy she is doing it with! WTF!!! 
She is an only child, her father is dead, her mother is more psychotic and hated me before she met me, her mother is the one who told her to get off the medications in the first place, she is responsible for the majority of our problems. Her mother, her aunt and cousins are uneducated trashy type of people who are all heavy drug and alcohol abusers. I have no way to go when it comes to her family, the only person that was reasonable passed away.

The kids need their mother when she is on her medications and is willing to be here for them, they don't need an insane person who keeps coming in and out of their lives when she feel like it, they deserve to have a good stable life, in her current condition, her presence is unhealthy for the kids.


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## forthekids64 (Jun 1, 2014)

leon1 said:


> You should set new rules with her , tell her she can only call or text you if it is to do with the kids .Sounds like she was telling the truth about her sexlife but telling you didnt work out the way she wanted, so now she is trying to play it off as lies .


What could she have possibly wanted from telling me her sexlife details?

I have set new rules for her, no more contact at all until she proves to me she is being treated for her mental illness.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

What is her diagnosis?

Read Honcho's thread.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> I have set new rules for her, no more contact at all until she proves to me she is being treated for her mental illness.


Great rule!!! You are a very responsible and rational thinking man.
If I were you, I would have to see a great improvement with her treatment for A VERY LONG TIME before I would put my children’s emotional well being in her hands!

*Your 100% responsibly is to make sure your children do not get harmed by this woman.* No mother is better than a very damaging mother.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Ok, this is not a constructive post but OP takes the cake for being the most naive and gullible guy I've seen on this site. And that is saying a lot. 

OP, don't be so naive and stupid, ok ?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

And it is more damaging to your kids to introduce the mother back again when they seem to be adjusting. Take them to a child therapist and take their advice on how to deal with the mother.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Nothing to advise, just sorry you are having a tough time.


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