# bloodtastrophy



## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Hey all. 
So i have been having a issue with menstrual bleeding. It jas become a huge problem since December i have probably been 13 days free of bleeding. The gynecologist figures it is a hormal imbalance so we tried the depo shot to see if it would help wIth the bleeding. NOPE!! 
Anyway, my problem is that i have had sex 3 times since December. My partner gets grossed out and doesnt want to havr sex. It makes me feel ashamed and rejected. 
The times that we did have sex i felt they lacked so much connection. Lost really. I didnt quite know what to think of it. So, we dont touch hardly anymore, sleep close or kiss hardly. I dont know what to do. 
He says he is worried about whats going on, but doesnt care how i feel dosconnected, he just makes a comment about how i not the only one suffering. 
Not sure how to get around this...or with it or whatever...


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Have you seen a hormone specialist? They are more educated in the area of hormonal imbalance. See your primary doctor to find out if he or she can recommend one.

Is he having trouble getting over the mental image? Can you do other things to increase intimacy? Have you both have a frank conversation where the two of you do not have to operate on eggshells?

Do not feel ashamed, it is something you have no control over and should not be ashamed of. He is the one with that issue, and if he cannot get over it, or work on it, well, perhaps he is no longer the person you can be with. But, I would go see a specialist if the symptoms do not alleviate somewhat.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

I found I had to take the Birth Control Pill to get my bleeding under control. 

Definitely get to a specialist though. 

As for you H. No advice. But I would be hurt if I were in your shoes.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

You need a strong dose of ORAL progesterone. Depo-Provera is not the right treatment for your problem. Oral progesterone will stop the bleeding in just a few HOURS. Literally. You take it hourly until the bleeding stops--usually stops within 4 hours.

I have dealt with this very problem for years due to peri-menopause issues.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> You need a strong dose of ORAL progesterone. Depo-Provera is not the right treatment for your problem. Oral progesterone will stop the bleeding in just a few HOURS. Literally. You take it hourly until the bleeding stops--usually stops within 4 hours.
> 
> I have dealt with this very problem for years due to peri-menopause issues.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good advice from someone who is been there.

FYI, I cannot take any birth control pills because every one I've tried makes me bleed continuously. Very annoying.

How old are you? If you're finished having children, you could consider an ablation.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Has your GYN has ordered an ultrasound to check for uterine fibroids? Or have you talked about a hystoscopy and a possible D&C?

Isn't it funny all the medical advice here and not one of us a doctor? :lol:

Your partner's squeamishness about menstrual blood seems immature to me. Assuming he's over the age of 25 I should think he would have had enough exposure to this harmless fluid and also enough exposure to the fantastic place it comes from so that the squeamishness he feels gets over ridden by the fantasticness!

Him not touching you much is a natural progression of not wanting sex. If someone doesn't want sex they're going to avoid touching so that no one starts to think about sex. They're not going to make out or do any heavy petting because that might make them really want sex. As time drags on, they will physically distance themselves even more to avoid the appearance of wanting sex.

Talk to him and be very honest about how rejected you feel. 

At the very least you two could come up with an agreement on how to be physically affectionate while knowing where each of you would draw the line in order to not become too aroused. This would be to honor (humor) is squeamishness.

At the very best you might be able to come up with ways to have sex and him not getting grossed out by a bit of blood.

You could have sex in the shower. If you get in first, take the shower head and rinse out your Vag really really well. Then he gets in, or he was turned away while you rinsed so he doesn't have to see any. If the timing is right, you may be able to have sex without any additional blood appearing for maybe 10-15 minutes.

He could wear latex gloves and a condom, you could lay down a red towel, and everything is fine.

You two could get all hot and heavy with out him touching your bottom area. Instead you both masturbate together.

By talking and discussing you can solve this.

I think men who are squeamish about menstral blood are pvssies themselves. Blood will not hurt you and it washes off entirely.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

peacem said:


> . But sex has got better for me as we have learned to do different things which is very much centered around foreplay (*and bj's for him*). Perhaps talk to you H and see what he would like.


Stop this now!

If your man isn't giving to you, you do NOT give to him. PERIOD!


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Isn't it funny all the medical advice here and not one of us a doctor? :lol:


But Anon, I was MARRIED to a doctor (that's gotta count for something, right?!) 

Kind of like, "I'm not a doctor, but I PLAY one on TV."

:rofl:

(Btw, I agree that his reaction to her very real medical issue is immaturish.)


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Stop this now!
> 
> If your man isn't giving to you, you do NOT give to him. PERIOD!


???? Does not seem one side to me...



> But sex has got better for me as we have learned to do different things which is very much centered around foreplay


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

anonmd said:


> ???? Does not seem one side to me...


How can her giving BJ's while this guy won't touch her lady parts because some red fluid might get on him seem balanced?


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Has your GYN has ordered an ultrasound to check for uterine fibroids? Or have you talked about a hystoscopy and a possible D&C?
> 
> Isn't it funny all the medical advice here and not one of us a doctor? :lol:
> 
> ...



What you talking about Anon? This is the 21th century, we all are doctors under the Google Act of 2015.

Time to bring on the leeches for a good ole bleeding. As a witch doctor, I will give her a shrunken chicken head to chase away all the evil spirits, do the Lambada to invoke the spirits of passion, and throw a cream pie in her partner's face for fun.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Mr.Fisty said:


> What you talking about Anon? This is the 21th century, we all are doctors under the Google Act of 2015.
> 
> Time to bring on the leeches for a good ole bleeding. As a witch doctor, I will give her a shrunken chicken head to chase away all the evil spirits, do the Lambada to invoke the spirits of passion, and throw a cream pie in her partner's face for fun.


Totally agree with the pie in face. But maybe red velvet cake would be better?


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

anonmd said:


> ???? Does not seem one side to me...


I suppose I could be totally confused, that was Peacem's comment not the OP. I'm assuming Peacem is a female commenting on her experiences. Maybe not, her/his profile doesn't say anything but "undisclosed". Foreplay generally includes touching her lady parts in some manner.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

anonmd said:


> I suppose I could be totally confused, *that was Peacem's comment not the OP*. I'm assuming Peacem is a female commenting on her experiences. Maybe not, her/his profile doesn't say anything but "undisclosed". Foreplay generally includes touching her lady parts in some manner.


Opps! You're right.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
Clearly the OP should get medical advice from actual doctors....

As far as sex - ideally it wouldn't matter to him. Some people though may have specific hang-ups that the can't control. If the sight of blood really bothers him at a deep level, there maybe nothing he can do about it.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> Clearly the OP should get medical advice from actual doctors....


I agree, but her doctor doesn't seem to be doing a bang-up job thus far.

Cycles that "don't end" -- heavy, ongoing bleeding -- is quite common in peri-menopausal women. OP should rule out fibroids, endometriosis, etc. but her doc already gave her Depo-Provera (which wouldn't be given if those conditions are present) so IMHO her doc is overlooking a very common treatment (oral progesterone -- very high dose) for a very common problem.

One only has to read these reviews Depo-Provera for abnormal bleeding or other similar ones to know that her doc is barking up the wrong tree. And OP is suffering, likely needlessly.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Yes, the OP needs to see a competent doctor. I agree that that can be difficult to find.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> Clearly the OP should get medical advice from actual doctors....
> 
> As far as sex - ideally it wouldn't matter to him. Some people though may have specific hang-ups that the can't control. If the sight of blood really bothers him at a deep level, there maybe nothing he can do about it.


I was thinking the same thing. There are guys who faint at the sight of a needle and silently freak out when the blood flows from any part of the body. If the OP's husband is one of those, what is she going to do?


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Perhaps she should see another doctor to get another opinion.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

peacem said:


> You have some good advice here. Just to add - bleeding should not stop sex. There are plenty of things you can do for each other that are highly erotic and intimate without a sign of any blood. Not necessarily PIV if it is something your H can't abide but there is nothing wrong with your clit, breasts, nipples (using vibes), bj's, hj's, mutual masturbation. Showering together can make it less messy.
> 
> P.S I am perimenopausal and have gone from light bleeding to heavy, prolonged bleeding which are more frequent. But sex has got better for me as we have learned to do different things which is very much centered around foreplay (and bj's for him). Perhaps talk to you H and see what he would like.


Good things to do while the doctors investigate the real problem. We do these sorts of things during my wife's period.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> Has your GYN has ordered an ultrasound to check for uterine fibroids? Or have you talked about a hystoscopy and a possible D&C?
> 
> Isn't it funny all the medical advice here and not one of us a doctor? :lol:
> 
> ...


Anon, for some the sight of blood is not just squeamishness. I know someone who wanted to be a doctor and was in med school when they discovered they couldn't deal with the sight of it. In addition there are many who have had traumatic experiences associated with profusive bloood and have reactions similar to PTSD.

I don't know if the OPs husband is one of these or not but I don't think you know either. Calling him an immature pvssie is out of line.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I actually have that reaction. I very close to pass out at the site of a needle being used. I'm not *afraid*, I go for regular flu shots with no problem at all - but for some reason a very deep part of my brain reacts very badly to seeing a needle being used.

Blood also bothers me, though not nearly as much.

I'm happy to jump off a thousand meter cliff with a parapent, but I couldn't stick a needle in my arm for anything. 




VermisciousKnid said:


> I was thinking the same thing. There are guys who faint at the sight of a needle and silently freak out when the blood flows from any part of the body. If the OP's husband is one of those, what is she going to do?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

meson said:


> Anon, for some the sight of blood is not just squeamishness. I know someone who wanted to be a doctor and was in med school when they discovered they couldn't deal with the sight of it. In addition there are many who have had traumatic experiences associated with profusive bloood and have reactions similar to PTSD.
> 
> I don't know if the OPs husband is one of these or not but I don't think you know either. Calling him an immature pvssie is out of line.


Maybe I'm wrong but I would expect the OP to include that little tid-bit because it's kind of important.

Yes, I get that men who are phobic about blood might get that way. My own father in law used to tell the story I taking his 6 year old daughter to the doctor to have stitches removed and once the doc pulled off the bandage my FIL fainted dead away.

Funny though, I've never heard of a woman being phobic about blood. Which reinforces the fact that exposure and not avoidance is how to deal with phobias that interrupt your life.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

peacem said:


> Why?  Do you mean oral? Having a H with ED means there are several evenings and mornings during the week in which it is very one sided, inasmuch as the only pleasure he gets is pleasuring me (and yes that sometimes involves oral sex and vibes). During menstruation sometimes this is when I give back. This time last year menstruation in our marriage was called 'closed for maintenance'. Now things are considerably different, and considerably better. Since my body has changed we need to think outside the box and we have both found a compromise - I no longer dread that time of the month, life carries on, business as usual (but with a few variations).


Sorry sorry, I was confused and misattributed your post to the OP. I thought about deleting my post in which I quoted you, but then realized anonmd's post would then be quoting a deleted post...I didn't know which way to go so I just left it.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Thank you all!! 
I actually had a paragaurd in place for three years after inhad my daughter. I bleed for three weeks every month after i had it inserted.
Until december when i was just bleeding heavily everyday for the month and in january i made an appointment to my gynecologist. She said we needed to remove it and that it was probably a reason for my consistant bleeding i had so much pain all the time from this thing, and i had pains that would radiate from my right ovary to my right kidney.

I wxpressed that i thought this was a problem to her and she didnt seem to worried. So we started to speak about my birth control options as i do not want another child. I told her how i feel irritable and my body doesnt feel right how i have noght sweats and insomnia, i had actually went to my family doctor before i came to the gyno because i have a nodule on my thyroid. I thought i was suffering from thyroid problems and the doctor also said i had amajority of thyroid symptoms so he checked my levels and my hemoglobin and my vitamin b levels and they all came back fine....

So i made an appointment to her and thats how i got the depo shot because she says the irregular bleeding isnt normal especially not for my age. I am 26. 
I started my period when I was 9 years old.
They have always been incredibly heavy and i would vomit from severe pain. Then agter i jad my first child this is exactly what my pain felt like was being in labor. 

I javr told the damn gynecologist about this whenni was younger but it didnt seem abnormal because i had my pwriods on time every month and each lasted for 9 days or more and very rarely under 7 days. 
And in the winter months i would sometimes have two periods a month.

I feel like something is wrong and the pains in the right ovary area and my back to me suggest fibroids. 
I do have alot of fibroid cysts in both of my breasts. 
I have an appointment the 15th to get another depo shot, but i think instead I am going to come of birth controland request and ultrasound and some blood work. 

Now as far as my partner and i go....he doesnt like blood at all coming out of me him or anything else. He doesnt even do well with pee or poo from our child dog or whatever has bowls haha.

It does make me feel bad about myself as if i am not clean enough for him. I constantly bring up this problem becausr its making me feel sick and am having alot of horny pains haha. 
We've had sex three times since all this shet started and im just about to say the hell with him and when i do get better just not even have sex with him. 
I was taking care of him sexually and i quit because he is so dang Selfish. Why am i evenakong sure he is happy and frustration free when he could care less about me? 
Hes a guy for crying out loud. The body produces fluids and as i could care less he is the opposite. He wont even try anal. He would rarely ever go down on me. I mean i am willing to do anything with him that doesnt involve other people you know....
Whu am i being punsihed for being with someone who is so opposite of me. It just dosgusts me how freely and goving inhavr been and i just suffer because he is juat a selfish jerk.

Ooooo!!!!


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Lila, that is really neat. I had no clue such things were invented! But thats neato.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

I asked him today if he thought i would gross him out if I just kept a tampon in and he said he didnt think so. 
He said well maybe we can try the shower.
I have had sex in the shower with hkm plenty of times and it wasnt because i really just wanted to. The water is not lube!! And it doesnt feel great when its going in me with him. Ive told him this.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bkaydezz said:


> I asked him today if he thought i would gross him out if I just kept a tampon in and he said he didnt think so.
> He said well maybe we can try the shower.
> I have had sex in the shower with hkm plenty of times and it wasnt because i really just wanted to. The water is not lube!! And it doesnt feel great when its going in me with him. Ive told him this.


Nope, water rinses your natural secretions away, so not a lubricant. But guess what works great? Blood!!!!! 

I am so sorry for your uterine troubles. That's just horrible! You poor thing!

Have you ever had an ultrasound of your ovaries and uterus? 

At 26 you are waaaaay too young to be suffering with perimenopause type symptoms. Although, some women do go into premature menopause.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. If your GYN is content with things but you're not, find another doctor who will listen to you and help you achieve the health results you want. If you were my daughter suffering like this, I'd have already dragged you to several specialists!

Bleeding 3 weeks out of the month...hell NO!


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

I am going to ask for an ultrasound at my next appointment. This just isnt normal. 
There are so many different things that it could be from what ive read. 

Either way, i am going to get it talen care of. In the mean tkme its just ruining my sex life lol

Thank you Anon.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bkaydezz said:


> I am going to ask for an ultrasound at my next appointment. This just isnt normal.
> There are so many different things that it could be from what ive read.
> 
> Either way, i am going to get it talen care of. In the mean tkme its just ruining my sex life lol
> ...


Good for you!

So you've never had an ultrasound of your uterus and ovaries? And you got your first period at 9? And from the beginning your period was long and heavy? And no one did an ultrasound?

How tall are you?

Beginning puberty so young is something that could have and SHOULD have been halted! My oldest daughter's Breasts began to develop in 2nd grade and I took her straight to the doctor because puberty at that age just complicates social development. Development follows a pattern. Boobs, Pubes, Pits, then Pads. I was not willing to allow her to be wearing a bra and having her period when she was still playing with dolls! Luckily her early breast growth did not continue through the pattern and it stopped on its own.

I say all of that because it appears you began puberty far too young, precocious development, and have grown up thinking all of that was normal and there was nothing that could be done, just the roll of the dice. But a 4th grader should NOT be menstruating and it could have been held off for another 2-3 years HAD doctors done further testing.

I know it's pretty common among African American girls, especially if they are overweight, to begin developing early. But common doesn't always mean normal and certainly doesn't mean healthy. I personally think pediatricians should be doing more to halt this early development because it interfers with social development. 

I hope this has given you a "pep talk" to not accept the doc trying to tell you it's all normal and nothing's wrong And there is nothing they can do. If you have insurance that allows you to see a specialist without a referral, I would simply go see a different GYN and not an OB/GYN. If there are teaching hospitals near you, research their GYN department and find a doc who specializes in menopause.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

I am right under 5'3. 

The only time ive had an ultrasoubd was when i was pregnant and she said during that time my ovaries looked very healthy. Had a healthy pregnancy too.

The first time i ever got a pap smear was when i was 16. 

I grew up in a home that didnt worry to much unless you were dying haha. Sad but true. 

It just seems everything started going awry when i had that paragaurd in place. 

Also after it was taken out i had this really infectious smell with the bleeding for a couple of weeks. I thought maybe it was old blood. 

Do you think it would be wise to get another depo provera shot? I am uncertain about it.
As it didnt do what it should have as the gynecologist indicated. 
Hell, im not having sex anyhow, maybe it would be better not to take it. Haha!! 

But whenni very first started my period young it was a steady flow and every year from there seemed to get heavier and heavier. Its just amazing how the human body works and doesnt. 

Oh boy.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

bkaydezz said:


> Hey all.
> So i have been having a issue with menstrual bleeding. It jas become a huge problem since December i have probably been 13 days free of bleeding. The gynecologist figures it is a hormal imbalance so we tried the depo shot to see if it would help wIth the bleeding. NOPE!!
> Anyway, my problem is that i have had sex 3 times since December. My partner gets grossed out and doesnt want to havr sex. It makes me feel ashamed and rejected.
> The times that we did have sex i felt they lacked so much connection. Lost really. I didnt quite know what to think of it. So, we dont touch hardly anymore, sleep close or kiss hardly. I dont know what to do.
> ...



Very explicit. Read at your own risk.....







I had awful bleeding. Two to three and a half weeks out of the month. And so heavy that I had to use female incontinence protection rather then feminine hygiene products. Talk about gross. Docs were hesitant to do anything surgical, because well surgery is surgery. We tried every hormonal BC known to man. I finally got my uterus out. I had fibroids growing on my pollups and every damn thing on the walls of my uterus.

I am thankful every day to be rid of it! I am older though, past child bearing years.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Oh man!! 
I am glad you dont suffer from that anymore.
I bet you are happy to be rid of it. 

Thankfully it wasn't anything more than that and they decided to help you.


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