# Is there hope?



## 503sfguy (Oct 15, 2009)

I found out that my wife had an EA with a co worker about a 2 months ago. I lost it and told her to leave. There have been a lot of horrible things said since then. We have a 4 year old daughter who is having a hard time coping with the fact that we are separated. I have asked her to come back but she doesn't want to. She is staying with a girlfriend who hates me. Unfortunately my wife does not know how to drive and makes very little money. I am concerned that the cards are staked against her and that she and my child are headed for tough times. She says that she is not with this co worker but from phone records it seems that she is with him when she does not have our child. She says that she is going to rent an apartment but has been denied because she does not make enough money. She actually asked me to cosign. I am having a tough time, one being concerned for the well being of our child and for my wife. She really is not taking care of a our child, she has to wake up at 530 and leave by 6 to get to work on time via bus. So her friend is dressing feeding and getting our child to school and picking her up in the pm. It just seems selfish and the fact is she is not parenting. She is only with our child from 430 to 930 in the evening. I dont know if this more of a rant. I want her to come back, and come to her senses. That she cannot do this alone. I want to work on our issues but she refuses. It is so tough to give up with out even trying to resolve our problems. Communication and control issues are a big problem in our relationship. I want to do the work but she doesn't. How long do I hold on to hope for the future?


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Take your child and leave.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Yeah. Why is this a question?

Honestly men, stop acting like children are the wife's responsibility. Stop putting it on someone else. 

FA said it straight up.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I'm starting to think that what I hear is "my wife is the babysitter and I can't make it without a full-time babysitter." 

MEN : DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN IF THAT'S WHAT YOU ExPECT. Your wife could get hit by a bus at any time and you're the only one left. Divorce is actually more likely. You have a 50% chance of that and I can't imagine how low the bus thing is. 

IF YOU CANNOT IMAGINE RAISING A CHILD BY YOURSELF, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.


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## 503sfguy (Oct 15, 2009)

Hmmm I guess I didn't mention that my W and I are currently sharing custody of our child. I am up holding my responsibilties as a parent it just doesnt seem like she is. I dont think i mentioned anything about the bus being a low thing rather that it is not possible for her to drop our child of at pre school and make it to work on time. I was looking for words of encouragement. Advise maybe, I guess I did not explain myself well enough.


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## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

You cannot make your wife do anything she does not want to do. My question is why did you allow your child to leave the marital home? Why is her friend doing what you should be doing? Wake up and bring your daughter home, I am sure you are a good dad do not take offense with me. But instead of being a good dad put on the cape and become superdad! One more thing DO NOT COSIGN for anything the nj asks!


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