# First meeting with online dating - overnight?



## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

I know that what I'm doing to be here is going against most all advice I've read. And I know this isn't really about an existing marriage. But here goes...

I've met a great lady (or seems to be) on a dating site and we've hit it off very, very well. I'm 55, just divorced for the second time from a long distance marriage that was "over" about a year ago. She's a couple years younger, been divorced twice as well, the second coming about 2 years or so ago. 

We've been talking daily for about 3 weeks now and she has booked a flight to my location for the weekend, to stay at my home. She's not asked about seperate bed arrangements so I have no choice but assume we'd be sleeping together. Our conversations haven't gone deep into sexual subjects but from them I believe our sex drives are similar. She says "no pressure, lets just have fun". 

From our conversations, I feel we have a great deal in common, have many similar interests, actually come from within 30 miles or so at birth, and seem to want the same things in the future. Everything seems to click up to this point so well that it's almost "scary". The telephone conversation chemistry I'm feeling is extremely good. I'm looking forward to meeting her as she, at this point, seems like the "soul mate" I've been looking for. 

We've agreed to take things as they come, not to rush anything. I'm sure you would say that our actions aren't matching that. I'd welcome comments...


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## Samayouchan (Jun 1, 2012)

=D

As a lady who met her husband on an MMORPG (massive multiplayer online role playing game) I TOTALLY understand what you're feeling. 

My husband (then just 'friend but wanna date' relationship) visited me the first time the best advice I could give is BE yourself. BE that person she fell in love with over the internet. My first meeting with my husband i was a bit nervous, but thats expected meeting anyone for the first time in real life. If you try to make yourself more than what you presented to her online, she'll take notice. TRUST me be yourself and you'll not regret it!


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## Samayouchan (Jun 1, 2012)

ALSO! just because she wants to have a good time doesnt = i wanna have sex. LOL. You can snuggle in the same bed and enjoy each other's company without going straight to sex. =) now if she brings it out, you need to be prepared as far as what you want from the upcoming 'weekend fun'. Do what feels right ^-^


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

I do hope it all works out for you but I must caution you that chemistry over the phone, email, etc. is not the same as face to face.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Emerald said:


> I do hope it all works out for you but I must caution you that chemistry over the phone, email, etc. is not the same as face to face.


Couldnt agree more.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I'd come right out and ask her what her expectations are regarding sleeping arrangements. If you don't have a spare bedroom, let her know. You could also ask her if she would be more comfortable at a hotel.

I'd also hide your valuables


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Things that go up fast, come down fast!

You say she is a "great lady" but you really don't know that. Yet.

I'd prepare a nice bed in a guest bedroom. If you don't she might think that you're presumptive and that will work against you.

Now when she arrives, and she wants to jump you, then jump her if you'd like, THEN convert this new budding relationship from "possible mate" to "party girl". 

Pursue a possible mate for a long lasting meaningful relationship, and don't sleep with her until several more dates. Pursue a party girl for just fun times, and know that they do have their place in our society. I don't judge against them, really. I had fun with several party girls before I met my awesome wife. Wife and I didn't do the deed until several weeks, several dates later...we both took it slow intentionally, savoring the times we talked and got to know each other.

BUT, never, ever treat a party girl like a keeper. They are different.

Never confuse the two. Any woman that jumps in the sack so fast, and not really knowing each other is not a woman worth respecting, or pursuing as a keeper.

Just my 2 cents.

Either way, have fun in or out of the sack 

Keep your wits about you and perspective too.

You're 55 and too old to create another relationship that will not sustain you until your dying day.

Party with a party girl and have great fun, but no more.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Emerald said:


> I do hope it all works out for you but I must caution you that chemistry over the phone, email, etc. is not the same as face to face.


Agree....but any chemistry is a good start. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Only 3 weeks...never met in person...I wouldn't trust her enough for a weekend overnight. She might be a total nutjob, or this might be a scam.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

All of the above. I would also do a quick background check on her. Most arrest records can be found online now. You can always phone her local county's sheriff's office.

AND have condoms available. Just to be safe.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Hey, maybe she wants to harvest a kidney!!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

off the crazy train. said:


> *We've been talking daily for about 3 weeks *now and she has booked a flight to my location for the weekend, to stay at my home.





off the crazy train. said:


> *I'm looking forward to meeting her as she, at this point, seems like the "soul mate" I've been looking for. *


:slap::slap::slap:

You have never met this woman before. This woman could be a man. Or a mass murderer. Or a con artist. Or anything.

It's advisable to meet "people from the internet" in a public place at you fist meeting, to chat over coffee or the like, and see how it goes.

It is crazy to invite osmeone you have never met before to spend time at your home and be thinking that after 3 weeks this is your "soulmate" -- especially after you just got a divorce.

Look, you are going to do what you want but if I were you, please be careful. And be safe.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> I'd come right out and ask her what her expectations are regarding sleeping arrangements. If you don't have a spare bedroom, let her know. You could also ask her if she would be more comfortable at a hotel.
> 
> I'd also hide your valuables


YES! Because spoiling the mood and chemistry is what ALL the ladies love.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> YES! Because spoiling the mood and chemistry is what ALL the ladies love.


Gee, I dunno WorkingOnMe....he could buy a box of multi-colored condoms and flash them in her face, asking her to pick her favorite color...what better way to break the ice, and besides, a true soul-mate that she is would perceive this as the most romantic thing a man could do for a woman....just saying lol


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> :slap::slap::slap:
> 
> You have never met this woman before. This woman could be a man. Or a mass murderer. Or a con artist. Or anything.
> 
> ...


Whilest single, I tended to avoid those "soulmate" types...some people are addicted to "love", "romance"...oh well...LOL


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I agree with ChrisTaylor. If hew ants to knwo about sleeping arrangements ahead of time, he should just ask.

And ITA about the "hiding valuables." OP does not know this woman AT ALL. 

I personally wouldn't have a stranger at my house that I've never met before. No way, man.

OP's name/handle on TAM is funny. Because obviously... lol



WalterWhite said:


> Whilest single, I tended to avoid those "soulmate" types...some people are addicted to "love", "romance"...oh well...LOL


Yep! I would run away from any man proclaiming he loves me or thinks I'm his soulmate so soon in a relationship. There is no way he even knows me that well to know anything about it.

Huge red flag, IMO.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> It's advisable to meet "people from the internet" in a public place at you fist meeting,


Fist? He's already advanced to fisting? OP needs to slow it down.

(ducks and runs for cover before Jellybeans reads this)


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

I've done some google searches on her. She works an IT job involving security so she knows how to "hide" or protect herself. But I know enough to know she is a real person with a real family, etc (dad and son nearby). We email during the day from work email addresses as well as talk in the evening on the phone. She has a "Linkedin" profile and works for a real company as far as I can tell.

I know that phone chemistry doesn't always translate to in-person. We both agreed about that. But if that initial chemistry isn't there, I don't think in most cases it is there to build on either. As far as my "soulmate" comment, I guess how I view that is how often at this point we've each made comments about specific subjects that make one go "wow", that's exactly how I feel about that. Things that someone just can't make up to pander or make it seem to be something more than it really is. Similar stated goals or visions for where we want to go or do in life. What is attracting me is there is far more common ground than I've ever had going into any of my previous relationships. Lifestyle, hobbies or shared interests, etc. 

I view myself as someone with a pretty decent judge of character and wouldn't get to this point if I felt unsafe or felt she was a scammer. I know about them, no personal experience beyond emailing them but am confident I could pick one out.

I'm a guy that's into cars. My "valuables" aren't something that are easily carried off... especially flying in and out. I think we're both exposing ourselves - and look at it as "nothing ventured, nothing gained". I mean, she is flying to stay with someone she's never met at a place that is mostly unfamiliar. She's been in the area before but before we met online. She is depending on me for transportation to and from the airport although I know she could easily rent a car.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

You have only known her for three weeks online. I think you should get a room because this is her first visit. You having a stranger in your home quickly. I am not so quick to invite someone into my home. You are taking a big change with this lady. I wish you good luck with her. But you do need to be careful who you invite into your home. It is all kind of crazy online and sometimes next door . Also you might think about what you want from her too. What are you looking for a mate or a sex buddy?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

thunderstruck said:


> Fist? He's already advanced to fisting? OP needs to slow it down.
> 
> (ducks and runs for cover before Jellybeans reads this)


:rofl: Hahaha. 

Freaking misspellings! 

CrazyTrain--like I said, you're going to do what you want. So all we can do is wish you luck and tell you to please be careful because you do not know this woman. Be safe.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

off the crazy train. said:


> I'm looking forward to meeting her as she, at this point, seems like the "soul mate" I've been looking for...


yeah, I missed this on my first read.

Soul Mate. Dude. Get a grip.

There is a vast.. a *vast* differente between a soul mate and someone you are hitting it off with after a few weeks of remote chat and talk. Seriouly. I may not worry about the scam angle too much - but I think you should temper your expectations here a bit. Just a quick question since I think I missed it and Im curious now - how old are you?

back on the crazy train.


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

From her dating profile and mine both, we are each looking for a long term relationship with "chemistry". Maybe that sounds crazy to some extent but we both feel it is something that is important to have long term along with at the beginning. There has to be that attraction and then later on settle into the shared common interests, hobbies, lifestyle, values, etc. We both want the chemistry to remain long term, is that too much to ask for?

As I mentioned, I know of our shared roots, each coming from rural midwest families and understand that is far different from more urban or large city backgrounds. I think we have a common foundation from what I know so far and would compliment each other very well long term. We both want the "whole thing" as we've both made mistakes in the past or had relationships that didn't work the way we thought they should. 

We've talked about much of all that and I am always looking for "red flags" at the same time. I'm not going into anything blind, I don't feel. (Even though I'm sure others may not agree). This isn't the first time in the big world for either of us. 

The reservations some have expressed are the same I have and why I started this thread. At the same time, when she is taking the effort to come to my location to meet me and see how I live as this is where she would live if it all works... it's something that needs to be done to know if the relationship is going to progress to something more serious. I feel like I'm the one holding the cards.

I do appreciate all the comments on my situation and will take all of them into consideration.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Forgot to ask...

I know you see her on LinkedIn, talk on the phone, etc... Are you sure she isn't married?

Head over to the infidelity forum and read about wives taking trips and talking to their lovers on the phone.


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

@ tutnera (and everyone else). But addressing the issues brought up there... 

My first marriage was 25 years long that ended with her being a BPD (borderline personality disorder - look it up and understand what it is). The second one I lived with for over 2 years and then married. Yes, I shouldn't have married as I couldn't be happy living where she now lives and she wouldn't come back to where I live. It has been over for a year but the legal part just recently. 

The second divorce was all done Pro Se, no lawyers required, cost me all of $100 for the filing fee and my time. 

And yes, I do have professionals I see on a regular basis as a safe outlet to talk about issues in my life. After living with a BPD and keeping my sanity, I think I know how to take care of my self and to seek help if I need it. 

I've learned a lot about myself and what I want out of life and the kind of partner I want to share it with along the way over the past 35 years. And the person coming to see me fits that like a glove from what I can see. And I'm a good match to what she's expressed that she's looking for too. 

But you are entitled to your opinion based on the information I have posted. That is why I posted, so I do thank you for your inputs!


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

@ Chris Taylor, 

What I know about her living arrangements gives me satisfaction that it isn't the case. I haven't spoken to her son personally but he was in the background while I was on a "speaker phone" conversation. I doubt he would be supportive of his mom having a relationship and coming to see me if she was still married. 

Sometimes I think you have to have a basic trust and yet verify what the other person is saying. I've been doing that all along as I go in this. Yet watching and seeing if what she says matches up with what else I've found out. 

And looking for "red flags" other than the one I've created this thread about. I don't know that it is a red flag. I just think it's two people that want to meet and this works out for both of us - even though I think she is the one with the greater gamble. It was her offer and she had considered driving like 9-10 hours each way a week ago and then staying an entire week. She was talked out of that by her son and dad for various reasons - all legitimate as far as I was concerned. Then the airline offered a round trip ticket for less than it would have cost to drive and we are where we are.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

OK. So her son and dad are OK with this woman traveling and sleeping with a guy she has never met in person and only knows on-line? Sounds weird.

But it's your relationship. I know you feel you have done a lot of checking on this but I just get a really bad feeling about the whole thing. If she wants kinky play and wants to tie you up in bed, do us a favor and pass on that.

"Crazy Train was found bound and gagged and his house ransacked. Film at 11."


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

off the crazy train. said:


> From her dating profile and mine both, we are each looking for a long term relationship with "chemistry". Maybe that sounds crazy to some extent but we both feel it is something that is important to have long term along with at the beginning. There has to be that attraction and then later on settle into the shared common interests, hobbies, lifestyle, values, etc. We both want the chemistry to remain long term, *is that too much to ask for*?


At 3 weeks of an "internet/phone" relationship, yes. 



off the crazy train. said:


> The second divorce was all done Pro Se, no lawyers required, cost me all of $100 for the filing fee and my time.


I'm jealous. Seriously. Every divorce should be so easy! 



off the crazy train. said:


> Sometimes I think you have to have a basic trust and yet verify what the other person is saying.


Basic trust, yes. Blind trust, hell no.

We are just telling you to be CAREFUL, ok? We want you to be ok!


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

@ Jellybeans 

Yes, it would have nice if the first divorce was that easy. But I don't live in a "community property" state - by choice. I was able to retain most of what I brought into the first divorce but had to assume most of the debt the "crazy train" ran up. Yes, that is where my handle comes from. I'm off the crazy train that living with a BPD person is. 

With the second divorce, there was nothing to settle after we'd split up what little property she wanted from what I had in a storage unit I'd rented when I thought I was moving there. Neither of us wanted to spend money for lawyers and in my state you can download forms that are "fill in the blanks". Again, I'm not in a community property state so I keep everything I come into the marriage with for the most part. Nothing too difficult for someone of at least average intelligence. 

I don't think I have "blind trust" in what is going on here. Why else did I start this thread? To have inputs on things from different perspectives... to address issues that need addressed for my safety or hers. Yet to have a good meeting between two people contemplating a long term relationship that meets both of their goals and or wants in life.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

I hope this works out for you! People are meeting up all of the time over the internet. I met my H on Match.

The problem I see here is that your hopes are too high. Have you skyped with her & if not, why not? What site did you meet her on?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Have fun. Be careful.

It's called taking a leap of faith.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Good luck with your date! 

I met my husband from a blind date. I was at his house the first or second date to talk after. We also spent a mini weekend vacation together before we were engaged just a couple months after meeting. We slept in the same bed and our clothes never came off. He paid for everything also. It was a very memorable trip for sure.

I would not spend the night the first date. If I were from out of town, I'd get a hotel.


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

@ Emerald. 

I'm trying to keep my expectations and hopes from being too high. It's part of why I started this thread too. To help me stay "grounded". 

But it's really hard when we talk and everything just seems to click like nothing I've ever experienced before. I'm talking about the simple down to earth stuff that is clicking along with the larger parts. I mean, you can pick up kinds of things during conversations; about each other's lifestyles, if you listen carefully. 

I'm more realistic than that to know any relationship requires lots of work to keep it going and that what seems so good now may not carry over in person. No, we haven't done skype or anything like that because we both are busy in other ways in our own lives as well. If the meeting goes well, I'm sure we'll use that type of thing in the future.

At the same time, what good is anything in this world if you can't hope and dream, even a little? And after a couple failed relationships on both sides, to still have the positive outlook that this one could be the one we both have been looking for. 

I believe in fate and that all things happen for a reason. That we all are a path in life pre-determined by a higher power. Sure, we have some inputs on what happens based on decisions we make but still even that I think is from above. I've been asking and praying for the right person to come into my life for some time. So now when this person shows up that everything seems to fit, what am I to think? I have to see where it goes, I know that, while keeping an eye on the big picture and protecting myself. We met on POF.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Three weeks isn't very long. 

No matter how great the connection, it will wear off in time. Most every relationship looks great in the beginning. Both people are trying to hide their short comings and exaggerate their qualities.

I truly hope this is your 'soul mate', but be careful. Protect your heart. You have a long way to go before you truly know each other.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

off the crazy train. said:


> @ Emerald.
> 
> I'm trying to keep my expectations and hopes from being too high. It's part of why I started this thread too. To help me stay "grounded".
> 
> ...


I am sending you positive vibes that it all works out for you! Let us know how it goes.

psss...if this doesn't work out...next time before you get emotionally involved prior to the face-to-face meeting....skype - nobody is that busy...it only takes a few minutes!


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

Emerald said:


> I am sending you positive vibes that it all works out for you! Let us know how it goes.
> 
> psss...if this doesn't work out...next time before you get emotionally involved prior to the face-to-face meeting....skype - nobody is that busy...it only takes a few minutes!


Thank you for the positive vibes!

Yes, but as I understand it, you both need to have video capability and I have a cam but have never hooked it up. I don't think she has one... And I do think she would have told me if she did based on what her job is. It's just been far easier to talk on the phone when it happens.


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## OldSoulNZ (Sep 26, 2012)

Just to help you keep grounded, here's a cautionary tale... 

I did the online dating thing for a while (when I was single obviously) and found that physical chemistry is not all that common, even when someone ticks all the boxes. 

I spent some months in Canada and connected with someone from my home town in NZ while I was there. Phone, long emails, saw photos. Over the space of three or four months, we hit it off in every way and I had high expectations of our first real meeting. So much so I said something along the lines that he'd have to be really unattractive for me not to want to date him when I got home, after all we got on so well and he looked nice in his photos. Doh!

Fast forward to our first date. He wasn't particularly unattractive but I didn't fancy him one iota. I can't describe it, but physically he just didn't do it for me. I hurt the poor guy and I'm sorry for that, but there was no point in having a physical relationship with someone with whom I had no chemistry.

All I can suggest is to have a Plan B, like having the guest room ready, in case you or the lady hit the same road block.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

You have never really seen each other. I just want to wish you goodluck. Let's us know how it goes..:smthumbup:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Definitely hide valuables.

I wouldn't have someone stay the night. Not on the first meeting. But...eh...my husband was staying the night on date 3.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I have a very simple rule about online dating ... A date.

I had a 'correspondence' relationship with someone while traveling for business. We exchanged a number of emails and then a series of long phone calls over a 3 week period prior to meeting her.

Basically we established rapport prior to meeting one another despite having photos.

We finally met, and 50 minutes later that was the end of that.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

off the crazy train. said:


> Thank you for the positive vibes!
> 
> Yes, but as I understand it, you both need to have video capability and I have a cam but have never hooked it up. I don't think she has one... And I do think she would have told me if she did based on what her job is. It's just been far easier to talk on the phone when it happens.


She's in IT... I bet she has a web cam.

Sorry if I missed it, but have you seen pictures of her?

Also, I know she could have driven, but is she coming from another country?


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

I hope he comes back and tell us if everything went ok :smthumbup:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Deejo said:


> I had a 'correspondence' relationship with someone while traveling for business. We exchanged a number of emails and then a series of long phone calls over a 3 week period prior to meeting her.
> 
> Basically we established rapport prior to meeting one another despite having photos.
> 
> *We finally met, and 50 minutes later that was the end of that.*


Ha!


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

Ok, I'm still alive and "digesting" an incredible weekend with a wonderful lady. We have tons in common, had an awesome time together both inside my home and outside in my local area. 

We packed a lot into the past couple days. It's going to take a little while to comprehend it all but it all worked out better than we both had even dreamed that it could. 

@ Chris Taylor, no I hadn't even seen a good picture of her before I picked her up at the airport. I was pleasantly surprised! 

I'd met a lady about 6 months ago that held back on things and I never saw a picture of my ex before our first meeting so I've been down that road before. I try not to judge a book by the cover. This lady has a good mix - very good looking and brains besides!


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> :slap::slap::slap:
> 
> You have never met this woman before. This woman could be a man. Or a mass murderer. Or a con artist. Or anything.
> 
> ...


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :slap: :slap: :slap:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Looks like I'm too late for the crazy train party, but I'm glad it went well. So now what?


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

southern wife said:


> Looks like I'm too late for the crazy train party, but I'm glad it went well. So now what?


We both go back to our "respective corners" and think about what happened over the past two days. We've both agreed to take things slow and see where it all goes. But I'm thinking that I will go visit her over Thanksgiving and meet her dad, adult son and some of her friends. And likely would have her to meet some of my siblings that live close by to where she lives as well as spend time together... She's good with that plan when we discussed what the future may hold.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Great to hear it.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

off the crazy train. said:


> We both go back to our "respective corners" and think about what happened over the past two days. We've both agreed to take things slow and see where it all goes. But I'm thinking that I will go visit her over Thanksgiving and meet her dad, adult son and some of her friends. And likely would have her to meet some of my siblings that live close by to where she lives as well as spend time together... She's good with that plan when we discussed what the future may hold.


So, do tell about the sleeping arrangements at your house: together or separate? Inquiring minds want to know!


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

We slept together. The first night was a bit awkward as we figured out which side of the bed was better for each other, how much clothes to wear (I normally sleep ONLY with a t-shirt) and was too warm that way and the initial part of the weekend.

I didn't want to "jump" into sex as while it is very important but I didn't and don't want the relationship to be "just about that". That part came during the next day when we were both ready for that step. It was just as good as every other part of the weekend. Based on the comments she made, she was very happy about how that was as well. 

We both slept very well together the second night. The last night was also good but we had to get up early so she could catch the flight back home this morning.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

off the crazy train. said:


> We slept together. The first night was a bit awkward as we figured out which side of the bed was better for each other, how much clothes to wear (I normally sleep ONLY with a t-shirt) and was too warm that way and the initial part of the weekend.
> 
> I didn't want to "jump" into sex as it is very important but I didn't and don't want the relationship to be "just about that". That part came during the next day when we were both ready for that step. It was just as good as every other part of the weekend. Based on the comments she made, she was very happy about how that was as well.
> 
> We both slept very well together the second night. The last night was also good but we had to get up early so she could catch the flight back home this morning.


Thank you for answering. I hope you didn't mind my prying. Was just curious and nothing more.  Glad it went VERY well!! :smthumbup:


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

I'm happy to hear you had a great time!

I cannot believe you didn't swap pics before meeting! Curious as to why not.....


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## off the crazy train. (Nov 1, 2011)

Emerald said:


> I'm happy to hear you had a great time!
> 
> I cannot believe you didn't swap pics before meeting! Curious as to why not.....


She saw my pics from the dating site and I sent her a couple more. She is one of those women that is quite camera shy - so I didn't push it. I took a chance and am very happy with the results. 

As I mentioned in another post, my second ex didn't give me a picture before we met and I met another person over the internet that I didn't see a picture of prior to meeting either. Neither of those were "ugly" but weren't drop dead gorgeous either. But it wasn't because of how they looked that things didn't work out. 

This lady isn't "barbie" either but I am quite satisfied with how she looks. And she is good looking for someone our age. Just as important is how she cares about herself. That is important to me as well (eating right, exercises, not smoking, no heavy drinking, etc) - to me, she has to "love herself first" before she can love someone else... I had a positive sense of how she was and just went with my gut!


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