# Does he really want to see me naked?



## karma*girl

Hi guys! I'm a new girl visiting~ I've been reading posts for a few months now & decided it's time I ask my question.
Btw- I respect & appreciate the level of intelligence & candor that is shared here by all 
I understand that it is very important for a man to view his wife naked in all her glory..
From what I hear, it feeds a man emotionally as well as physically, etc..
I am married to a great guy & have great relationship, but my body-image is not so awesome..so it's essentially MY issue, not his.
FYI- I am petite, fit, healthy- sounds good except, my boobs are very small after nursing for a combined 4 years+ and after 3 kids, my stomach is a mess- add c-section scars & it isn't the most 
attractive thing.

My question is, is it possible that he actually wants to see me naked anyway? 
I'll grab a towel & cover up if he comes in the bathroom & he asks why..
I say, trust me you don't really WANT/ need to see~ yes, that is the body image issues talking & but no I have not been to counseling about it. 
So, I'm genuinely asking- why would a man want to see even of it isn't good? Could you still be turned on?
Our sex life is great however because I do have the ability to let the insecurities go for a time, as long as too much isn't exposed, but if I could just quit worrying about it, it could be phenomenal.
He doesn't complain or make any negative comments because he knows it's a very touchy issue for me.
So that's it. I just don't want to disappoint him.
Thank you for listening! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma

Yes, he wants to see you nude.

You may think you look bad but I`m telling you he most likely doesn`t agree with you.

My wife is very petite, c-section scar, breasts that seem to inflate and deflate depending on time of the month, eating habits..whatever.
All these things bother her.

I think she`s a goddess.
If she hid her body from me it would seriously irritate me to no end.

I can`t explain the pleasure having access to her body gives me.
It`s not simply physical.


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## Browncoat

My wife has had 4 children, all of them naturally... her stomach isn't the same flat tummy it was when I married her. It has it's wrinkles and little ripples and bumps. You know what though, I still kiss it and caress it all the time (and enjoy every second of that). I still find her whole body sexy.

If she acted self conscience about her stomach it would turn me off. I like the fact that she's comfortable with her body (flaws and all). If she was nervous/worried, I would be nervous/worried about hurting her feelings... it would just make a big issue where there didn't need to be one at all.

I bet he wants you just as you are. Just relax and enjoy your husband, because I bet he's enjoying every part of you.


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## nice777guy

I will never understand the filters through which women see themselves.

Conduct an experiment.

Three nights a week, walk around the bedroom totally naked. Then - three nights with a long shirt and granny panties. Alternate - three and three.

Keep track of how often he initiates sex - or touches you - or compliments you.

Or - you can take our word for it - he wants to see you naked!!!


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## PBear

What they said. It's your body (with all the imperfections), and he loves you. The two things go together.

C


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## karma*girl

U guys brought tears to my eyes, seriously. 
Wow. It is so refreshing & almost unbelievable that I could be hiding out for no reason.
I definitely see the part about, if I am uncomfortable, he would be. I can tell he doesn't want to make me more self-conscious, so he tries to be careful.
If I just say f*** it, & walk around nude as could be, you think he'd actually like that? That is something I'll need to pound into my brain!
Confidence is very sexy~ I could see how if I put off a better vibe, it would make a difference..
In myself first, then him..
ahhh, thank you!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nachopenguin

I understand you karma*girl and have the same issues with myself. I'm not petite and can never understand why my husband would want to look at me. Thanks for this post and all the responses to it.


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## karma*girl

Absolutely! I know there are some women out there who share my concerns.
I love allowing light to be shed onto subjects that I sometimes feel too embarrassed to talk about.
So enlightening & helpful!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash.

I like the Jeff Foxworthy line where he says men are thinking "I want a beer and I want to see something naked". And that something for the majority of men is their wives.

I used to have a bad body image until I started to look around. I began to think I look pretty darn good for a middle aged hag. LOL So what you might want to do is focus on what you like about your body instead of your flaws. Every woman has flaws and every woman has assets. Focus on the later and the other won't matter.


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## Entropy3000

tacoma said:


> Yes, he wants to see you nude.
> 
> You may think you look bad but I`m telling you he most likely doesn`t agree with you.
> 
> My wife is very petite, c-section scar, breasts that seem to inflate and deflate depending on time of the month, eating habits..whatever.
> All these things bother her.
> 
> I think she`s a goddess.
> If she hid her body from me it would seriously irritate me to no end.
> 
> I can`t explain the pleasure having access to her body gives me.
> It`s not simply physical.


This. Do not deprive your husband of seeing your body. He wants to see you.


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## karma*girl

Hearing how men really feel, is tremendously encouraging! 
In response to Nice777..the filters we sometimes see ourselves through are often so debilitating, they hold us back, if we let them.
Media, porn, etc...makes us feel like if we aren't at that level, somehow we are sub-par, physically at least.
The fact that men check out other women, watch porn, things like that- I think those things make it hard for a girl like me to feel I measure up.
My hubby has done all this, although not in excess or in a way that was deliberately hurtful. It's just happens. 
But, it also makes me less likely to want to be sexual with him.. because a self-conscious girl doesn't feel all that sexy~however I realize it's not up to him to make me confident- that's an inside job.
BUT- knowing that most of what holds me back is ME, makes it so much easier to feel comfortable just being myself & not stressing about what he's going to think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Browncoat

Think of your beauty like a work of art:










If I get up close to the painting I may see some flaws. Perhaps a brush stroke here and there that wasn't done right. Perhaps some places the paint is laid on too thick. But the beauty of that painting isn't the slightest bit diminished by any perceived imperfections. I hardly even notice the perceived imperfections. It is beautiful, just as it is.

It's the same way with me when I look at my wife's body, as I'm sure it's the same for your husband. She is beautiful, just as she is.


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## Tall Average Guy

My wife went through three C-sections to have our kids. Her stomach is nothing like it was or what she wants it to be. And yet it is so very sexy to me. It is a constant reminder of her gift to me of our children - what she went through so that we could have our three wonderful kids. It is a part of her and our life together, and makes her that much more attractive to me.


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## that_girl

Yep. he wants to see you naked. 

I have stretch marks from my second pregnancy and oh well. It's my body and it's what I have to work with. Why should he think it's gross? HIS CHILD was in my body. 

He loves to see me naked. Always trying to sneak a peek.


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## karma*girl

that_girl,

Thank you! I admire your POV~ I'm getting closer to where you stand! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mistys dad

I'll give you the other side of the equation. Most everybody agrees that he wants to see you "as is" and they are correct.

By thinking in your mind that he doesn't want to see you, you will project on him your insecurities. That can make a man feel lower than dirt.

My wife has her body issues. I don't see it that way. 

One of the biggest issues we have in our relationship is that I feel guilty asking her to be open like that. Not because I have an issue with her being naked. But because asking her causes all her anxieties to surface. 

No explanation or assurance from me will ever convince her that, yes, I do want to see you naked.....and other things.


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## Shaggy

What you don't understand is that he can't see any flaws, he just sees you the woman he wants.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

Join him in the shower soon  He won't object. Promise.


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## karma*girl

I love this line of thinking- that a perceived flaw could be sexy because of the way it reminds you of the life you've made together, (& what she went through to bring your children into the world.)
As for c-sections? Oh do I know what she went through! You are all so encouraging & give me excellent reminders of why I need to chill out! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

my wife breast feed both out children and is somewhat saggy as she says but I actually find them sexier now than before.

and yes men(at least me) want to see everything.

when you bend over naked we want to see it Hell we want to see everything all the time!!!!!!!!!!! not only see we want to touch ,taste and enjoy!


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## Mistys dad

Sext him a picture.

Wait ten (or less) seconds.

Read his responce. 

Case closed.


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## karma*girl

..& I never imagined it would project onto him & make him feel like dirt or bad in any way! On the contrary, I assumed, (yep, I'm learning it's bad to assume,)
I was protecting him from me. I always believed that if I don't want to see me in the mirror, he won't either..I need to grow some & drop the damn towel, per LadyFrog's suggestion...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

Hahaha...I already love you guys..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

chillymorn said:


> my wife breast feed both out children and is somewhat saggy as she says but I actually find them sexier now than before.
> 
> and yes men(at least me) want to see everything.
> 
> when you bend over naked we want to see it Hell we want to see everything all the time!!!!!!!!!!! not only see we want to touch ,taste and enjoy!


OMG! MY husband said the same thing. I breast fed both of my children so my breasts aren't perky. HOWEVER, hubs tells me all the time how much he loves them because they are big and squishy and soft :smthumbup:

Imperfections don't need to be thought of as flaws.


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## nice777guy

karma*girl said:


> Hahaha...I already love you guys..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Be careful - some of us are real pervs!!!


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## karma*girl

..then I'm in good company! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

..I like that idea..imperfections do not need to be thought of as flaws, thank you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

Uh-oh..ha! no qualms..I can easily admit when I'm wrong
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

karma*girl said:


> Uh-oh..ha! no qualms..I can easily admit when I'm wrong
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


sexy is an attitude. act sexy:smthumbup: and you will be sexy.

be warned sometimes you might do something sexy and he will scratch his head and say really and then you can both laugh at it and try something else.


fun and platfull that were its at.if you can't let your guard down with your husband or wife then thats a shame.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> It is so refreshing & almost unbelievable that I could be hiding out for no reason.


if he loves you, then i promise you that you are.


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## Dollystanford

get your body OUT woman

hell, none of us are VS models


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

nachopenguin said:


> I understand you karma*girl and have the same issues with myself. I'm not petite and can never understand why my husband would want to look at me. Thanks for this post and all the responses to it.


you should also take notes.

you DONT have to be petite to be beautiful and sexy


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> I need to grow some


lol, dont do that, then he might change his mind :rofl:


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

that_girl said:


> Imperfections don't need to be thought of as flaws.


who says it imperfections? :scratchhead:

the media?
porn?

fvck them.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

Dollystanford said:


> get your body OUT woman
> 
> hell, none of us are VS models


except you my dear


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## waiwera

Why not start showering together (maybe being naked somewhere it's the norm to be naked will feel more comfortable for you?)...soap each other up, rinse, dry each other off, oil each other up.

He doesn't see the little lumps and bumps...he just sees the whole package.

The more often your naked with him the easier it will get... 

I'm sure your H will appreciate all your efforts


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## Browncoat

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> fvck


Is that latin for something? 


Seriously though, I agree with Dean. My wife is more beautiful now after ~15 years than she was the day I married her.

I am also far more in love, and it's a more rich and deep love as well.


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## arbitrator

Trust me, Karma Girl: If he's any kind of man with a loving heart and a healthy sex drive, then he is definitely going to want to see you, no matter how you look. And you can take that to the bank!

I just wish that I could be in that same position again, but hopefully, there will be time for that after the divorce is finalized.

Take care of your hubby; and rest assured that he adores you!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

walk up to him, drop your towel, then cum...tell us what he thought when he is done sexing you.


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## Dollystanford

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> except you my dear


ha ha hardly!

but I've never been ashamed of my body and never would be - f*ck it, it's ME

if you don't like it get lost


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## arbitrator

Browncoat said:


> Is that latin for something?
> 
> 
> Seriously though, I agree with Dean. My wife is more beautiful now after ~15 years than she was the day I married her.
> 
> I am also far more in love, and it's a more rich and deep love as well.


I truly miss growing older with a spouse. That's how I always pictured that it should be. In fact, the older you become in each others presence, the more complete you should end up being, much in the same way that God so planned and ordained it! You guys are truly the lucky ones that I greatly envy~ just continue to keep loving each other forever!


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## chillymorn

well if he don't want to see ya....I'll take a look.


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## Dollystanford

oh chillymorn you do make me laugh


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

Dollystanford said:


> ha ha hardly!
> 
> but I've never been ashamed of my body and never would be - f*ck it, it's ME
> 
> if you don't like it get lost


thats right. thats the attitude needed.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

chillymorn said:


> well if he don't want to see ya....I'll take a look.


lmfao


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## chillymorn

I'll bet he'd love to watch you masterbate......he might even learn your favorite moves!!!!!!!


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## karma*girl

I am so glad I decided to write here~ 
You all are awesome 
We showered together about 2 months ago- it went very..ahem...well & he thanked me for inviting him in with me..
I thought it was interesting that he thanked me..that made an impression on me, so ever since I've wondered about what he thought of me initiating that.
I'm getting better at processing what he says to be honest, but it's taking practice to believe that he's meaning what he's saying.."you're sexy, hot, etc.."
I only partially believed him, but lately I've been just going with it & trusting. Again, not because he's been untrustworthy, just my personal issues that try to take over & tell me he can't possibly be serious! That sounds so bad! 
It's been steadily improving though & being on here is REALLY helping as well! 
(Not to mention the inner work I've been doing to gain a healthier perspective regarding myself.) 
Thank you!!!!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

Oh & yes, he eats that up...no pun intended
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

Hahahaha, nice! True- I do love my ass & dare I say, my nipples :O
Good nipples count for something, right?? 8-P
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

karma*girl said:


> Hahahaha, nice! True- I do love my ass & dare I say, my nipples :O
> Good nipples count for something, right?? 8-P
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


now I really want to see! just joking. not because I don't want to see! but I'm married ohhhhhh the imagine:smthumbup:


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> We showered together about 2 months ago- it went very..ahem...well & he thanked me for inviting him in with me..
> I thought it was interesting that he thanked me..that made an impression on me, so ever since I've wondered about what he thought of me initiating that.


he thanked you because he appreciated ityou wonder what he thought of it?
he did thank you for it. sounds like he enjoyed it. im sure he did.
he probably knows your false impression of you own body so hes not pushed for it again thinking maybe you were uncomfortable with the shower.
hes probably waiting for you and hoping you will do it again...like yesterday


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## Hank567

I know you've had your question answered multiple times already, but I wanted to chime in with one more.

Yes. 100% yes.


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## SoWhat

To tag along:

YESYESYESYES.

No, seriously: YES.


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## nxs450

You sound a lot like my wife. I'm sure my wife is older then you if you just had 3 kids. She is 43, petite, had a C section (bikini cut), and has the same insecurities about her body sometimes. 

I just imagined myself when we are getting ready to make love. I let myself take the time to get in that actual state of mind, so I could truly have the sensations. I don't notice the things she worries about. 
When I look at her I see her soft skin, her curves that flow right into her back side, her hard nipples, the soft texture of the bottom of her feet, her hair down her back, the sexy smirk out the side of her mouth, and a sparkle in her eye, which sends goose bumps up the middle of my back, and makes me throb, and I can imagine exactly what she is going to feel, taste, and smell like when she reaches me. 
Honestly I closed my eyes and pictured it now. You need to know that us guy's are not just looking at one part of you. We see the complete you when we look at you in the moment.

I'm sure your husband feels the same things. It's the way us guy's are wired, when were in that trance of what is building, and what is to follow.

I was honest, and it took some serious focusing, but it worked. Now let your insecurities go and think of him in the monent as well, and you both should totaly be into each other. Complete bliss. 
Enjoy!


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## Hurra

My wife is self conscious about her body and will not show herself in the nude. She also thinks she is not attractive which is utter nonsense. She has a great figure, we have no kids. When we do have sex which is infrequent, its in the dark. Shes uncomfortable with daytime sex. This affects me quite negatively. After years of going through this, I dont want to have sex with her under her conditions. I give her hints i want to see her naked but she doesn't get it. Before marriage it wasnt this bad and she was trying to get over her insecurities but abandoned that post marriage. 

My advice is to get over this because it is likely doing damage to your marriage. Like others have said, he wants to see you naked.


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## chillymorn

on the flip side make sure to let him know you like the wat his body looks. compliment his MANhood. tell him its just right and you love handling it.

what goes around cums around!!!!!


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## RandomDude

Erm... I prefer wifey with clothes on, so I can take them off


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## COguy

I didn't read any of the responses, but yes it is not only possible but probable.

My wife is so sexy but she has a horrible body image and always wants to cover up.

If your husband wants to see you naked, it's because he likes it.

This can be explained best by Tim Allen:

"Men go up to a mirror, find an angle that looks good, and walk out of the house. Women have 100 mirrors pointing at them from all different directions, analyze themselves from every view point, and have to look good from all directions before they can feel good about leaving the house."

Basically, if a guy thinks you look pretty, you'll turn him on, even if you have unflattering features. Your own body image makes you think that everything has to be perfect to be attractive. It's just not true.

Do your husband a favor and just start trusting him when he tells you you look good. That constant self-deprecation is annoying and way more unattractive than any stretch mark or scar.


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## heartsbeating

karma*girl said:


> Hi guys! I'm a new girl visiting~ I've been reading posts for a few months now & decided it's time I ask my question.
> Btw- I respect & appreciate the level of intelligence & candor that is shared here by all
> I understand that it is very important for a man to view his wife naked in all her glory..
> From what I hear, it feeds a man emotionally as well as physically, etc..
> I am married to a great guy & have great relationship, but my body-image is not so awesome..so it's essentially MY issue, not his.
> FYI- I am petite, fit, healthy- sounds good except, my boobs are very small after nursing for a combined 4 years+ and after 3 kids, my stomach is a mess- add c-section scars & it isn't the most
> attractive thing.
> 
> My question is, is it possible that he actually wants to see me naked anyway?
> I'll grab a towel & cover up if he comes in the bathroom & he asks why..
> I say, trust me you don't really WANT/ need to see~ yes, that is the body image issues talking & but no I have not been to counseling about it.
> So, I'm genuinely asking- why would a man want to see even of it isn't good? Could you still be turned on?
> Our sex life is great however because I do have the ability to let the insecurities go for a time, as long as too much isn't exposed, but if I could just quit worrying about it, it could be phenomenal.
> He doesn't complain or make any negative comments because he knows it's a very touchy issue for me.
> So that's it. I just don't want to disappoint him.
> Thank you for listening!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You sound like a little hotty. Smile, it's okay to feel that you are.

Question time! ...how he has responded when you throw out those types of comments "trust me you don't really want to see"? 

Your man gets to see all the different sides to you. Your insecurities and your bravery. I wonder if you would be brave enough to have a night focusing on your body... Candlelight, be naked, and have him kiss and caress your belly. It doesn't need to lead to sex, and dont be surprised if you cry, but I wonder if this might be something that could help you slowly become more comfortable with him. What do you think?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OldGirl

karma*girl said:


> Absolutely! I know there are some women out there who share my concerns.
> I love allowing light to be shed onto subjects that I sometimes feel too embarrassed to talk about.
> So enlightening & helpful!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think there are a lot of women out there who share your concerns (Wish I could be Dolly for a day; oh to have that kind of confidence!) 

This thread is great - I'm committing it to memory


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## karma*girl

That is true- I've always felt like everything must look perfect or close to it, in order to be considered attractive. (I am an obvious perfectionist.)
I never even imagined that he wouldn't zero in on the things I don't like. It's amazing to think he might actually enjoy the whole package.
The thought of just standing there, naked, before him & allowing him to look at & touch me, first off absolutely scares me, then, as I get more used to the idea, I probably would become really emotional. But I'd feel relieved, like wow, he's not running away/cringing/losing his boner, lol!

When I tell him he doesn't want to see this anyways, he doesn't really say anything..he doesn't like to push the issue..it would be awesome if he did because then I might think he DOES really want to see me anyway- but he won't pressure me at all, so it's kind of both good/bad.
I was 18 when we had my oldest daughter & I just turned 34. So it's been a very long time since I've been comfortable in my own skin.

My biggest problem is that as soon as I feel my courage building, I'll start the comparison game- there are so many gorgeous bodies out there & I wind up feeling sorry for my H that he has to be 'stuck' with this one. I've said I have trouble believing him- although I don't say to him I don't believe what he's saying, I feel as if he is being nice because he has to be- he's my husband

Everything being said by all the incredible guys/girls here is REALLLLY opening my eyes. I know you all are not here to lie or sugar coat~
I know it's silly, but it helps me believe my H so much more..(which I KNOW I should anyways..)
I love all of your thoughts & true feelings on this & appreciate them very much!
It's all very eye-opening & possibly life-changing for me..& us! (-:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mistys dad

I have always told my wife this.

"If you could live with my brain for 10 seconds, you would never have another issue with what you think I feel"


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## Randy52

He absolutely wants to see you naked!!! I can honestly say that seeing my naked wife every morning is the most beautiful sight I see all day. And, those stretch marks, scars, etc that you perceive to be "flaws" are quite sexy to most men.


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## LovesHerMan

Tell that chattering monkey in your head to take a hike! Resolve to no longer listen to him. It is folly to compare yourself to others. There is always someone prettier, richer, more whatever it is that you want. Do you look at your husband's flaws so critically? No, you love him for who he is. Let him love you for who you are. There is only 1 you. Do not devalue yourself by being a perfectionist.


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## karma*girl

God- that's awesome- how I WISH I knew what he thought- 
I'm getting a much better, clearer, less skewed idea of what it may be, thanks to you & the others!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans

People ask silly questions on TAM.

"Does my husband really want to see me naked?"

Seriously?


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## Mistys dad

karma*girl said:


> God- that's awesome- how I WISH I knew what he thought-
> I'm getting a much better, clearer, less skewed idea of what it may be, thanks to you & the others!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He is telling you what he thinks.

You need to put you "believe him" ears on.


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## karma*girl

I've been thinking about that- listening to believe- I'm working on that big-time.. He seems much more at ease & seems to enjoy complimenting me more..
I notice him watching my reaction to what he says..he's in tune, for sure.
And yea, it IS a pesky a** monkey that needs to get lost, jeeez!
There is only One me & I'm pretty cool in loads of ways.
I need to remember that! It never occurred to me that he could think of my cringe-points as not a big deal.
He has said things like I don't even notice, care, etc...but I never could believe him.
>>>I'm reaching a turning point
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COguy

karma*girl said:


> I've been thinking about that- listening to believe- I'm working on that big-time.. He seems much more at ease & seems to enjoy complimenting me more..
> I notice him watching my reaction to what he says..he's in tune, for sure.
> And yea, it IS a pesky a** monkey that needs to get lost, jeeez!
> There is only One me & I'm pretty cool in loads of ways.
> I need to remember that! It never occurred to me that he could think of my cringe-points as not a big deal.
> He has said things like I don't even notice, care, etc...but I never could believe him.
> >>>I'm reaching a turning point
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Awesome! When you figure it out, please talk to my wife. So hot, yet she's always covering up and talking about how gross she is.


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## karma*girl

Heartsbeating, thank you so much..I'm at the gym right now, doing cardio & tearing up, lol! Wow! That is a wonderful story you shared, I am touched!! I'm very much like you & will be a goofball when I'm not thinking about it- that's my nature as well. It's when I start thinking too much that I retreat. My H says to quit thinking so much! 
I know it would be a major emotional release for me to confirm that he's all good with me. I'm also working on myself from the inside out- the self-worth part.
I don't have a troubled past - I've just developed my own body image thing on my own. 
But I'm slowly coming out of it..being here has helped me even further, to realize how it's all in my head & to be accepting of myself, insecurities & all
...sigh..thank you, thank you!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

COguy- ugh- I know how your wife feels. Not that it's valid, but in her head it is-
wish she & I could talk..we could encourage eachother- I love that you see her as hot~It's so interesting- that gap between what you see & what she sees- girls see details, guys, the bigger picture..it can really stink.
She is probably like me- I don't understand what people are looking at when they look- I always look behind me, lol!
I'm decent looking, but wish I saw what others did.
We see ourselves through completely different filters...work in progress..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane

Oh, karma girl, I struggle with this, too. I've probably lost hundreds of pounds in my lifetime, but it's the same 10 pounds I keep gaining and losing. And it makes me feel unattractive and unsexy, despite my guy telling me that I'm sexy and hot. It's really hard to let it go and relax and enjoy instead of feeling self-conscious about it.

I will say, though, in those times when I can let it go, it's such a wonderful feeling. 

I don't have any good advice - just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel.


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## karma*girl

norajane, thank you for your understanding It feels very comforting to know I am not alone in my struggle!
U should stick around here for a while- it's been amazingly eye-opening- so helpful in regard to seeing ourselves without the false illusions.
Best of luck to you!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

Ok any of you self conisious ladies need my opinion you can email me your naked photos and I will ease you insecurities.

its a tough jobs but i'm willing to take one for the team.


----------



## reset button

Tall Average Guy said:


> My wife went through three C-sections to have our kids. Her stomach is nothing like it was or what she wants it to be. And yet it is so very sexy to me. It is a constant reminder of her gift to me of our children - what she went through so that we could have our three wonderful kids. It is a part of her and our life together, and makes her that much more attractive to me.


I don't have C section scars but extra weight and a stretched belly from our 9.5 lb son!

My husband says the same... he doesn't mind the flaws because they are a reminder to him of our children. Don't worry so much and appreciate the hubby you have, you got a good one like me. I walk around naked in front of him all the time because he likes it and deserves it because he treats me like a queen.


----------



## tacoma

Mistys dad said:


> I have always told my wife this.
> 
> "If you could live with my brain for 10 seconds, you would never have another issue with what you think I feel"


I`ve said this as well when my wife was depreciating herself.

"If we could switch places for just one night you`d never question my desire for you again."

I don`t think they can understand it really.


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## karma*girl

reset- you are amazing- 9.5lbs! It's amazing how our female bodies work & can actually grow people & nourish them, inside & outside of our bodies- I still am amazed at the thought!
No matter how many kids I have or how common it is, it's so miraculous. So to look at my body & appreciate it for how it's worked so well is another good way of looking at it.

chillymorn, you're pretty smooth aren't you??  lol! Nice try!

It also surprises me to hear how guys still think of their women as sexy, although their women may act otherwise.
Once these ladies get 'up to speed' with how you're really thinking, and they begin to feel sexy/act sexy, etc...
I imagine that would turn up the attraction level, right?
Because I'm working on this...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

karma*girl said:


> reset- you are amazing- 9.5lbs! It's amazing how our female bodies work & can actually grow people & nourish them, inside & outside of our bodies- I still am amazed at the thought!
> No matter how many kids I have or how common it is, it's so miraculous. So to look at my body & appreciate it for how it's worked so well is another good way of looking at it.
> 
> chillymorn, you're pretty smooth aren't you??  lol! Nice try!
> 
> It also surprises me to hear how guys still think of their women as sexy, although their women may act otherwise.
> Once these ladies get 'up to speed' with how you're really thinking, and they begin to feel sexy/act sexy, etc...
> I imagine that would turn up the attraction level, right?
> Because I'm working on this...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


na not really just a perv! but I accept myself as I am.:smthumbup:


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## karma*girl

Misty's dad & tacoma- I love that you say that to your wives~ even if you think she doesn't understand that it's true, it's sooo important to keep it up.
Somewhere they're internalizing it & it's helping them, though it may not appear that way. 
Women hear so often how visual men are, so you can imagine my concern when I know I don't appear the way he would hand- pick if he could.
It makes it really hard to relax, knowing what you see is important to you.. So when it's less than ideal, we hideaway..although this is not what we really WANT to do.
We WANT to rip our clothes off (& yours) & dance around, jump you as often as possible..(well, I do anyway & NOT fear you're going to be thinking - 'Ick!'
Ha!! Sounds nuts but it's always what keeps me from being my true self~ 
I think I'm learning that my view is more of an illusion than reality..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

..chillymorn- I could learn a thing or 2 from you! ...
except the perv-part- Believe it or not, I've already got that down
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## nachopenguin

This thread is a chubby, self-conscious wife's dream come true.


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## karma*girl

haha...I was hoping others would benefit too! I've been wanting to ask for so long- very glad I did
The best part is knowing noone has any reason to fake the comments here- it's all honest, as far as I can tell.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

nachopenguin said:


> This thread is a chubby, self-conscious wife's dream come true.


attitude is everything.

way back long ago I dated the cutiest chubby girl who was so self conifident and sexy. she was freaking HOT. freckels and big brown eyes.

maybe too much info but I sometimes rub one out thinking back about her. and that was 20 yrs ago.


by all means this dose not mean to not take care of your self. by be realistic also.


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## nice777guy

Confidence and enthusiasm! Very sexy!!!


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## Jeff/BC

karma*girl said:


> I need to remember that! It never occurred to me that he could think of my cringe-points as not a big deal.
> He has said things like I don't even notice, care, etc...but I never could believe him.


Two points:

FIRST: Carol is a 58 year old woman not a 21 year old swimsuit model. If my brain worked that way, it'd be easy for me to see a gajillion "cringe points". But that's not what my eyes see. My eyes see the sexiest woman in the world... or at least the sexiest one I've ever met. At least my visual sexuality is a lot more complicated than some measurements could ever hope to capture. Love changes a lot.

SECOND: Let's talk your husband. Really, seriously, and objectively, is he Brad Pitt? Does he have a chiselled physique and washboard abs and expensive silk suits to drape it all in? I'm guessing probably not which means your eyes are willing to be pretty subjective when you look at him. Why shouldn't he be the same?


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## norajane

> SECOND: Let's talk your husband. Really, seriously, and objectively, is he Brad Pitt? Does he have a chiselled physique and washboard abs and expensive silk suits to drape it all in? I'm guessing probably not which means your eyes are willing to be pretty subjective when you look at him. Why shouldn't he be the same?


Because we hear over and over how visual men are. As women, we _know _ from puberty that our physical appearance is HUGE in attracting men. So when we don't "measure up" in any way to the ideal, we cannot help but feel anxious.


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## karma*girl

^ this. Unfortunately too true. Then, we wind up feeling the opposite of what our guys want us to feel..because we don't look much like what guys drool over, it's a confusing message..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

Jeff- You're right! I should accept that my H views me with the same loving eyes I view him through.
He is very attractive though- and yes, I let him know! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma

norajane said:


> Because we hear over and over how visual men are. As women, we _know _ from puberty that our physical appearance is HUGE in attracting men. So when we don't "measure up" in any way to the ideal, we cannot help but feel anxious.


Perfectly understandable BUT..

I was a player before marriage, got more than my fair share of female attention.

I often passed over the sexy model type for the cute chubby chick with the confident bubbly, dare I say, "****y" attitude and soft curves that never ended.

Experience told me I`d have more fun, in bed and out of it.

Granted I think I`m a bit different than the average guy concerning what attracts me but I can`t be alone.

I`ve desired many girls whose body image is outside what our culture states is desirable and more than enjoyed myself by getting lost in those "imperfect" yet beautiful bodies.

The problem women with poor body image is that they think in absolutes concerning whats desirable for a man and whats not.

It`s true many of my wifes "imperfections" are what attract me to her.
It sounds so loving and intimate to say my wifes c-section scar reminds me of what she`s given me and is attractive to me.

The truth is it`s not just "loving and intimate", it`s also primal and makes me hard for her.

My wife is taking a nap lying on her belly in the nude with nothing covering her right beside me as I type this.

Does she look like Angelina Jolie?
Hell no.
Has Angelina Jolie ever gotten me as excited as she does regularly just looking at her?
Hell no!!

I know who I`d be on top of if they were both here offering it to me right now and it isn`t the cultural sex symbol.


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## COguy

Yes men are "visual", it doesn't mean we are picky.

Just like boobs. Men like boobs, so women run around to the plastic surgeons thinking that big boobs are what everyone wants to see.

No..... Guys like boobs. Big ones, small ones, medium ones.

Guys like naked women. They don't have to be perfect, just naked.

Your husband thinks you're hot, don't argue with him.


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## Mistys dad

Yes, men are visual.

But, we are also territorial.

We like to look at what we captured.


----------



## tacoma

COguy said:


> Yes men are "visual", it doesn't mean we are picky.
> 
> Just like boobs. Men like boobs, so women run around to the plastic surgeons thinking that big boobs are what everyone wants to see.
> 
> No..... Guys like boobs. Big ones, small ones, medium ones.
> 
> Guys like naked women. They don't have to be perfect, just naked.
> 
> Your husband thinks you're hot, don't argue with him.


So true


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## nice777guy

You can find beauty in any woman. No woman is perfect in every way - and no woman is IMPERFECT in every way.

If you still feel self-conscious - then accentuate YOUR positives! 

Go buy some lingerie that you feel comfortable in.

Even better - tell HIM to go buy you some lingerie! 

Then - when he comes home with the skimpiest thing he could find - you'll get even more confirmation that he doesn't want you covered up!


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## nice777guy

The first time I ever tried buying lingerie - my Ex returned it - came back with way more "cloth" and "material" than I had originally bought!!!

Some "crap" about "comfort"!!!


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## tacoma

nice777guy said:


> The first time I ever tried buying lingerie - my Ex returned it - came back with way more "cloth" and "material" than I had originally bought!!!
> 
> Some "crap" about "comfort"!!!


Did you tell her she was missing the whole damn point of lingerie?

Comfort is sweats and a t-shirt.


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## Jeff/BC

norajane said:


> Because we hear over and over how visual men are. As women, we _know _ from puberty that our physical appearance is HUGE in attracting men. So when we don't "measure up" in any way to the ideal, we cannot help but feel anxious.


... and men hear that the size of their wallet is what attracts women. Insecurity is, of course, always a thing on both sides of the gender line. That doesn't make it a good idea.


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## nice777guy

tacoma said:


> Did you tell her she was missing the whole damn point of lingerie?
> 
> Comfort is sweats and a t-shirt.


I should have! Really. But that was a long time ago!


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## karma*girl

Wow! Once again, some very interesting insight! Thank you- you all are sharing priceless info here, IMO!
One time I was talking about the cellulite I have, which isn't too much, but there's some.
My H said, 'who cares, if it feels good, I don't care how it looks!'
I guess he was serious! :O
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## This is me

I think the fact the eyesight starts to go as we age is another way mother nature allows us to see each others aging bodies with its old flaws as easier to accept.


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## karma*girl

..great theory!  
I just wish my H would look at me with crossed eyes or something because his eyes are still seeing clearly! :O 
J/k- gotta get over it! Grrrr....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelygirl

karma*girl said:


> I'll grab a towel & cover up if he comes in the bathroom & he asks why..


He has seen you naked plenty of times while you were having sex so what's the point in covering yourself up anyway?
He knows your body shape perfectly.


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## karma*girl

When I'm laying down, things...umm..look less 'loose' I guess, I don't know- we r so close in bed, he doesn't get a full view of anything--unless his face is in my crotch, THAT I don't mind at all, haha! 
I know though- he was watching me change into pj's & I turned around quick & said hey, why are staring??
He said because, you're changing in front of me! I don't mind him seeing my backside all he wants, it's the front that I shy away from.
He honestly has not seen that part of me in forever, unless he's WAY up close, like mouth on me close
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> When I'm laying down, things...umm..look less 'loose' I guess, I don't know- we r so close in bed, he doesn't get a full view of anything--unless his face is in my crotch, THAT I don't mind at all, haha!
> I know though- he was watching me change into pj's & I turned around quick & said hey, why are staring??
> He said because, you're changing in front of me! I don't mind him seeing my backside all he wants, it's the front that I shy away from.
> He honestly has not seen that part of me in forever, unless he's WAY up close, like mouth on me close
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


give him a good look.
im sure he will appreciate it. hes been asking, right?


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## karma*girl

I want to! Yikes! He hasn't been specifically asking..but at random times he'll make small comments.. But never just asks. 
It seems like he doesn't want to put me in an uncomfortable position, or get uncomfortable himself.
Guys-- how should I go about it without it seeming contrived- how would it be welll received?
Honestly what do u think will go through his mind? Whew- that FREAKS me out!
But I want to be open with him...
Thank you!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

Just get over it. I'm not being flippant  Just get over it! This will be the best you will look (without working out and doing all that) for the rest of your life. You will get older and wiser  So enjoy your young body now! ENJOY IT! Let your husband enjoy it


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## karma*girl

I know, I NEED to!!  Thank you...I certainly am not getting any younger! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nxs450

Something me and my wife almost always do is light a bunch of the little tea light candles all over the room. It makes for a real dramatic affect. It really helps set the mood and the light is low enough that small flaws don't stand out near as much, even if you was looking for them.

You can buy a box of 12 pretty cheap, and then buy a few rolls of extra tea light candles. Very nice!

Another thing you can do is use red light bulbs for lighting. Not to be tacky but I heard there is a reason they use them in certian places. They are suppose to create a dramatic effect as well, hide flaws, blemishes, ect. I might give this a try some time.


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## Mistys dad

karma*girl said:


> I want to! Yikes! He hasn't been specifically asking..but at random times he'll make small comments.. But never just asks.
> It seems like he doesn't want to put me in an uncomfortable position, or get uncomfortable himself.
> Guys-- how should I go about it without it seeming contrived- how would it be welll received?
> Honestly what do u think will go through his mind? Whew- that FREAKS me out!
> But I want to be open with him...
> Thank you!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Knock back a 1/2 a bottle of wine.:absolut:

Say "Hey can you come in here, I want to show you something":moon:

How will it be recieved? Read this thread.:FIREdevil:

What will go through his mind? Read this thread.:FIREdevil:

Will he think it is contrived? So what.:woohoo:


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## karma*girl

Yep, I considered indulging in a couple glasses before I shed my layers before him..
That way, I'll be relaxed enough to not care but sober enough to remember his reaction..so I can hopefully be brave again the next time with no alcohol involved..
(Candlelight is very forgiving, I might go with that too..) 
I need to just re-read all of the encouragement here to keep moving forward!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Yep, I considered indulging in a couple glasses before I shed my layers before him..
> That way, I'll be relaxed enough to not care but sober enough to remember his reaction..so I can hopefully be brave again the next time with no alcohol involved..
> (Candlelight is very forgiving, I might go with that too..)
> I need to just re-read all of the encouragement here to keep moving forward!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


yes, i agree with what was stated earlier about candles.
if youre not quite sure yet, use candles and a nighty and with just candle light, let the nighty slip off your shoulders slowly and seductively.


----------



## bubbly girl

After many years of self loathing I have finally come to accept my body. I exercise and watch what I eat so I do try to look my best. It's far from perfect IMO, and I still have some weight to lose, but my husband seems very happy with it. I think I look pretty darn good for my age (close to 40).

Confidence plays a huge part in sexiness. My husband said that when I used to put myself down about how I looked, it was the biggest turn off. Now that I gladly let him see and touch everything, he's happier and hornier than ever! LOL


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

bubbly girl said:


> After many years of self loathing I have finally come to accept my body. I exercise and watch what I eat so I do try to look my best. It's far from perfect IMO, and I still have some weight to lose, but my husband seems very happy with it. I think I look pretty darn good for my age (close to 40).
> 
> Confidence plays a huge part in sexiness. My husband said that when I used to put myself down about how I looked, it was the biggest turn off. Now that I gladly let him see and touch everything, he's happier and hornier than ever! LOL


exactly


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## that_girl

Now I can't wait to get naked tonight. Ima start when he gets home. He loves watching my 'magic' trick. Pulling a bra from my dress LOLOL


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## karma*girl

Haha!! Nice I know, it's really getting me in the mood too 
I love it! Have FUNNNN
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Haha!! Nice I know, it's really getting me in the mood too
> I love it! Have FUNNNN
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


dammit, you have fun too!


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## karma*girl

Yessir Thank you!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Yessir Thank you!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shinobi

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shinobi

Just to add my bit, my wife doesnt appreciate herself as much as I appreciate her, and I cant get enough of her nakedness. She has put on a little weight since we first met and I love her figure more so with curves, which is what she has, but I feel her best part is her extensive stretch marks on her tummy, from child birth and they make her unique, they also feel so soft and to me just sexy. Mind what she calls her lack of a bum is a long way from the mark, its the best part of her, and altogether I could spend the day gazing at her for sure if she would let me of course lol!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

I appreciate what everyone offers up here, the more the better! So thank you!
Your wife is so lucky to have a man like you..as are all the wives of the men who have contributed here.
It still amazes me after reading so many positive posts, that my H might actually be attracted to me like this- I know that seems dense after all the awesome posts, but 15 yrs. of thinking one way will take a bit of time to reverse
It's been so long that I have not been able to be comfortable naked that when I do throw caution to the wind, he's probably going to wonder what the heck is up with me- it could totally be painfully awkward..hoping when the time is right, he takes it okay!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COguy

karma*girl said:


> I appreciate what everyone offers up here, the more the better! So thank you!
> Your wife is so lucky to have a man like you..as are all the wives of the men who have contributed here.
> It still amazes me after reading so many positive posts, that my H might actually be attracted to me like this- I know that seems dense after all the awesome posts, but 15 yrs. of thinking one way will take a bit of time to reverse
> It's been so long that I have not been able to be comfortable naked that when I do throw caution to the wind, he's probably going to wonder what the heck is up with me- it could totally be painfully awkward..hoping when the time is right, he takes it okay!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The times my wife has just let loose and let her seuxality take over, were awesome. Your hubby is in for a treat.


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## karma*girl

COguy- if you don't mind, what does your wife say she doesn't like about her body? 
How do you try & make her feel better? One thing that bothers me is that my H very rarely talks about it, even in terms of encouragement. 
So there's this 'empty space' for me to go ahead & imagine what he might be thinking...or what he would think if I was to go all out.
(I need to stop caring so much about what he thinks!)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ocotillo

"Besotted" is a word my wife uses to describe me. When we're both 90, I'll still think she's beautiful.


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## karma*girl

Then she must be an amazing woman~ you both are so lucky!
I wish I could confidently say my H feels the same about me..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## COguy

karma*girl said:


> COguy- if you don't mind, what does your wife say she doesn't like about her body?
> How do you try & make her feel better? One thing that bothers me is that my H very rarely talks about it, even in terms of encouragement.
> So there's this 'empty space' for me to go ahead & imagine what he might be thinking...or what he would think if I was to go all out.
> (I need to stop caring so much about what he thinks!)
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She says how fat and disgusting she is. How her skin is stretched out and flabby and disgusting. I tell her she's hot and beautiful and I love her body, and she tells me i'm just desperate or weird or saying it because I have to.

I think her body type is perfect. just the right anoint of curves, great body. Her stretch marks I never think about unless she is jiggling or pulling at them. She totally turns me on. I wish she would just accept my comments at face value. I love seeing her naked.


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## karma*girl

Yea..I can totally relate to her, thank you for sharing that.
There is just no reason for us to think it can be in any way attractive. I say the same thing- you want me because you can't (morally) have anyone else, not because you'd choose me. It's not a very nice way to be to ourselves. But we really believe it, we aren't playing attention games.
I can't even imagine what it would take to believe him should he ever say I am desirable to him after he sees the full frontal.
Unfortunately society bombards us with a ridiculous amount of info basically saying that what we've become, is in NO way desirable..(of course how we relate to it is our choice, I suppose.)
At the same time, it is so important for the men in our lives to be reassuring & encouraging, like you are-even if we don't seem to acknowledge it, we do & we need to hear the good stuff to counter the negative self-talk that is pretty much always going. You are good to her, keep being persistent in what you say.
If you didn't, it leaves things up for interpretation which is where I am at in a way.
It sucks really bad that looks alone have a way of depressing the hell out of a person, even when you know you are a great person in so many other ways.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COguy

Well since women such as yourself have some big mental block in accepting their husband's comments at face value, allow me to be your husband's advocate. You are hot. You turn him on. You give him a giant boner. He loves seeing you naked. He loves watching your sexy body.

Knock it off with the ugly talk and just rock his world. Give him the gift of your unfettered naked body. As much as possible.


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## karma*girl

Hahaha...thank you I love giving him a giant boner! 
Trust me I am really working on getting over it-
I WISH with everything I have that I could see myself the way a man could/would/does..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Template

COguy said:


> She says how fat and disgusting she is. How her skin is stretched out and flabby and disgusting. I tell her she's hot and beautiful and I love her body, and she tells me i'm just desperate or weird or saying it because I have to.
> 
> I think her body type is perfect. just the right anoint of curves, great body. Her stretch marks I never think about unless she is jiggling or pulling at them. She totally turns me on. I wish she would just accept my comments at face value. I love seeing her naked.


I feel exactly as your wife does, exactly.


I see what my H looks at and it is not women who look like me.
I see his posters, calendars, and magazines, and the women in them do not look like me.
I see who he does the head snap for in the mall, and those women do not look like me, either.
I know he thinks I am overweight, so why would I want to inflict that unsightliness on him? It is painful for me to know what I look like and what I looked like 40 years ago. Why would he want to see me naked even though I am not of the appearance he finds ideal and arousing.


Being a woman married 40 years, I have a long history of what he finds physically attractive. Being 60, I no longer represent those things. It is like I am a Ford and he would prefer a Jaguar. He can't afford the Jag, so he is stuck with the old, reliable Ford. Doesn't help to know that he still covets the Jag, either.

It is just hard for women. We are told over and over that that men are hardwired to be attracted to a certain appearance and hip to waist ratio in women. Actresses and models meet that requirement, as do a lot of young women looking to attract a mate. As we age, we look less and less like what men are hardwired to want. I don't see my H looking longingly at Kathy Bates, but he would sure do the head snap for Zoe Dechanel. It is very confusing and frustrating for women. And yet, we are supposed to believe you think we are beautiful naked even if we are a bit overweight or out of shape.


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## livnlearn

Template said:


> As we age, we look less and less like what men are hardwired to want. I don't see my H looking longingly at Kathy Bates, but he would sure do the head snap for Zoe Dechanel. It is very confusing and frustrating for women. And yet, we are supposed to believe you think we are beautiful naked even if we are a bit overweight or out of shape.


take a look at your husband. I seriously doubt he looks like the young studs in the Abercrombie ads. Advertising is what it is... youth and beauty sells. Still, you don't find too many men lamenting the fact that their stomachs are jiggly and their balls are 3 inches lower then they were when they were 10 years ago. Studies show that men pretty consistently think they are better looking then they are, and women pretty consistently think they are worse. We really are our own worst enemies.


----------



## ocotillo

Template said:


> We are told over and over that that men are hardwired to be attracted to a certain appearance and hip to waist ratio in women.


I think it's probably a mistake to take a static view of men's perceptions. Our tastes change as we grow and mature.

It's not that we don't still think the Western stereotypical ideal of beauty is attractive; We grow to appreciate a much broader range of beauty.

We wife says the same things you do. I'll watch _Dancing With The Stars_ with her (Her idea, not mine) and she'll say, "How can you watch {Insert Name} dance and still think I'm pretty?" 

There's not much I can say that will convince her that I've loved every stage of her life and that she's more beautiful to me than anyone. --Her skepticism doesn't change the fact that it's true.


----------



## karma*girl

Why DO men care so much less (or seem to) about their appearance?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mistys dad

Because we didn't grow up with toys that told us a 44 inch bust and a 26 inch waist was an ideal.

But don't worry, Hollywood and the advertising business is quickly convincing boys that they are terminally ugly as well.


----------



## ocotillo

karma*girl said:


> Why DO men care so much less (or seem to) about their appearance?


Girls and women are acculturated to internalize an observer's perspective as a primary view of their physical selves. (Fredrickson, 1997) That in a nutshell, is objectification theory.


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## chillymorn

dose my but look big in these cammo pants?


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## karma*girl

..meaning we learn to objectify ourselves? Because that makes sense to me.
If 'they' (society, others) think we're pretty we must be, or the reverse...we see it as others do. 
If so, then, why can't we see ourselves through our husband's eyes? Has the damage already been done?
Will all the positive things they say about us EVER seem true? 
I want to KNOW how to reach that point.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

chillymorn- big AND sexy 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COguy

Template, your words make me feel for you.

I can't describe it. I can't rationalize it. I don't understand how it works. I just know that to us, our women are sexy. The feel of my wife's skin. The look of her body when she's getting dressed and doesn't know I'm watching. The way she feels when we're making love.

The last thing on my mind is, "ugh, she could really tighten those thighs."

A prettier girl may come along, but I'd pick my wife over her any day. Your husband feels the same.

It would be my wildest dream come true if I walked into the house and she was standing there naked. The sexiest thing you can do for a man is let him know that your desire to make love to him and give yourself to any and all pleasure that you may want to experience trumps any self-concious thoughts you hold.

Like the other night, I was pleasing my wife, and I know she is completely grossed out by her own juices, but she sucked my tongue after I did it and it was the sexiest thing she has ever done in 8 years. Like the raw passion completely surpassed any of her pre-conceived notions or hangups.

Why women waste the best years of their life worrying about how their husband SHOULD think about them is a mystery to me. I say, if your husband thinks your hot, who cares what anyone else thinks? Give him the goods!


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## Toffer

YES, YES, YES, a thousand times YES!

I love to see my wife naked! She's had three kids and has a number of the same issues you raised but she knows I love her for who she is and not what she looks like.


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## reset button

Does anyone remember the episode of "Everybody loves Raymond" where Ray thinks Debra got a boob job while he was out of town, but she didn't. She was mad when he got excited thinking of bigger boobies (she had socks in her bra).

He tells her he loves her either way, and she tells him the same, even with his flaws and he is surprised to hear she thinks he has flaws. HEHE

She tells him it doesn't matter because she sees him as a husband, father and loves him, finds him sexy, wouldnt change him etcc....

And he thinks about it for a minute and tells her " Thanks hun but screw that I wanna be a hottie!"

Thats kinda how I feel, I am SOOO GLAD my husband accepts me for who I am and I him (we are no longer shy about nakedness). But, sometimes, you just want to be a hottie, not to get attention, but just so other people can say "Wow she looks great for her age" (male or female people mind you) or think "That 'hubs' is a lucky man" You know as a fellow perfectionist you feel like you are no longer the "best version" of yourself and sometimes that is just a hard pill to swallow. 

I was once like you but I have moved past it. I am doing well it and I work out and eat well. (wear a size 10 so its not like I am obese but was a size 6 BK -before kids)

Karma - you can believe your husband without him even saying a word. Try this, when he gets out of shower join him in the bathroom with only a nightie on and when he is looking, just slip it off so he has a full frontal view, then approach him and give him a long kiss. Just a kiss. I will guarantee you that another part of his body will tell you immediately how he feels about you naked!:smthumbup:


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Has the damage already been done?
> Will all the positive things they say about us EVER seem true?


unfortunately, the media starts the damage from the t!me you are very little girls.


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## livnlearn

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> unfortunately, the media starts the damage from the t!me you are very little girls.


yeah, my average sized 10 yr. old daughter talks about how her thighs look fat in her shorts. Sad.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

livnlearn said:


> yeah, my average sized 10 yr. old daughter talks about how her thighs look fat in her shorts. Sad.


it is very sad.
it good for them to be aware enough to be healthy but all this [email protected] the media jams down your throat is sickening.


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## karma*girl

It's horrible- I have 2 daughters & I'm trying my very, very best to impress upon them of their worthiness, apart from physicalities.
I don't talk negative about myself ever in front of them- or if something comes to light, I just point out how I love myself anyway & that I am really strong & capable regardless of what I look like.
(I should internalize these things myself!)
I am a size 4, so my issue is feeling too skinny, although, I eat healthy, workout an average amount, etc..
I WISH I had some extra weight!! 
Reset- being a perfectionist messes everything up! I loved your comment, thank you!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsOldNews

Maybe a playful game of strip poker. It'll be really obvious how much he wants to see you naked when he's trying his hardest to win and get your clothes off as fast as possible


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## karma*girl

Haha...sounds like a blast! We are poker pros too, we could have some fun with that!
But the more I think about it, the more I need to figure out how to GET HIM to be okay with it- what I mean is, he's spent so long trying to avoid my 'sensitive areas'
that I need to figure out how to convince him that I am okay, so he can be okay too!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Haha...sounds like a blast! We are poker pros too, we could have some fun with that!
> But the more I think about it, the more I need to figure out how to GET HIM to be okay with it- what I mean is, he's spent so long trying to avoid my 'sensitive areas'
> that I need to figure out how to convince him that I am okay, so he can be okay too!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i think if you do it and show enthusiasm and eagerness and ACT like it does not bother you, it will show him youre ok with it.


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## karma*girl

I was thinking about which way I should do it- come out & ask how he feels about seeing me totally naked, haha..sounds so funny..
Or, just do it..as if I'm not worried about it. I am leaning toward the latter because it will appear to be more natural, less planned.
I want it to be as non-awkward as possible!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

I took my daughter to the doctor so HE could tell her that she was proportioned, healthy and of good weight. She didn't believe me. lol. Said, "You have to say I'm pretty-- you're my mom" 

Then she was told again by her PE teacher this year that her BMI and weight is in the healthy range. She felt better. 

I'm just a stupid mom. I don't know anything. lolll.


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## that_girl

karma*girl said:


> I was thinking about which way I should do it- come out & ask how he feels about seeing me totally naked, haha..sounds so funny..
> Or, just do it..as if I'm not worried about it. I am leaning toward the latter because it will appear to be more natural, less planned.
> I want it to be as non-awkward as possible!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Just walk out naked through the livingroom into the kitchen to get some water.  LOL!


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## Badsmit

If he loves you and is a real guy...HELL YES. Earning a good woman’s love is the best gift a guy can give himself and seeing her totally nude has no equals. If he sneaks in the room for some mundane task as you are exiting the shower he is trying to sneak a peak... give him a show and walk pass (Bump) him, like it was accident and see how he responds.. If you relationship is good and he is faithful.. he will see the mother of his children and the women he fell in love with and want to jump you bones.......Guys are visual creature that mixed with love.......there wives/woman’s body is simple perfection......:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## karma*girl

..you're a good mom, that's a really good idea to get a doc's opinion to show her the truth!
Yea, I might just do that...walk past him like hey babe, just getting some water, HEHE~ like it's no biggie! ...woohoo! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

will you hurry up already!! 

im getting impatient and im not even the one getting a peek


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## karma*girl

Badsmit- I like your suggestion too..I love the support I am
getting here, thank you!..my H is a good man, faithful, loving & I HOPE he'll receive me as well as everyone 
has suggested! And he DOES come in for little random things after I shower, when I'm all wet & drippy, ha!
I notice because I'm always grasping at a falling towel, wondering if he saw much? .ahhh! :O lol!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

Dammmmnnn, 2nd_ t!me!!
Keep your pants on, boy! I'm gearing up, this takes COURAGE!
I promise to give a play-by-play after the deed
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Dammmmnnn, 2nd_ t!me!!
> Keep your pants on, boy! I'm gearing up, this takes COURAGE!
> I promise to give a play-by-play after the deed
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


lol
i am certainly teasing you karma*girl.
you should take whatever t!me you need to feel comfortable so hubby will get the feeling that you are doing it because you want to and not forcing it.


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## tacoma

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> it is very sad.
> it good for them to be aware enough to be healthy but all this [email protected] the media jams down your throat is sickening.


It`s not just the media.

Have you seen the BMI recommendations the FDA put out?

Unreal expectations.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

tacoma said:


> It`s not just the media.
> 
> Have you seen the BMI recommendations the FDA put out?
> 
> Unreal expectations.


yes, ive seen that [email protected]

im 6', 215lbs and it says im over weight lol
hate to know what they thought of me if i actually had some muscular build...obese?


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## tacoma

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> yes, ive seen that [email protected]
> 
> im 6', 215lbs and it says im over weight lol
> hate to know what they thought of me if i actually had some muscular build...obese?


Yeah it seems their numbers are based upon the falsity that all Americans are comprised of bones organs and fat.

I`m 5'9" 175 and the FDA BMI charts say I`m overweight.

I`m trying to gain 5-10 pounds more muscle.

lol.


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## karma*girl

2nd_t!me- I know, me too!  I'm working up to it though- yep, at my own pace..we'll see how long this takes!

tacoma- the FDA is often a complete joke, you're right- unreal.. the sad part is, people look to it & rely on it~ no research or inquiries of their own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nxs450

karma*girl said:


> Haha...sounds like a blast! We are poker pros too, we could have some fun with that!
> But the more I think about it, the more I need to figure out how to GET HIM to be okay with it- what I mean is, he's spent so long trying to avoid my 'sensitive areas'
> that I need to figure out how to convince him that I am okay, so he can be okay too!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Just start talking to him about the insecurities you had, and how you ar feeling comfortable with things now. See! Things are allready getting better. Let him know since you have been avoiding things for so long, your now excited about flaunting your sexy body in front of him, and your ready to experiance new things! I guarantee his imagination will start running wild.


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## karma*girl

Yes, things are seriously getting better! Thank you! My POV has been shifting for a while, and all of you have encouraged that even further  
I can't imagine his reaction when I casually tell him how I'm feeling..
or when I drop the towel after the shower, while he's right there- he's going to be so confused, ha!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

tacoma said:


> Yeah it seems their numbers are based upon the falsity that all Americans are comprised of bones organs and fat.
> 
> I`m 5'9" 175 and the FDA BMI charts say I`m overweight.
> 
> I`m trying to gain 5-10 pounds more muscle.
> 
> lol.


some researcher figured out the if it was an epicdemic then more money would be availible to study it so they changed the criterior of what obese is.

I'm 5'10'' 181 lbs and have 8% body fat (just got measured yesterday) accordining to the charts I'm on the cusp of obease.


muscel weighs more than fat.


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## karma*girl

8% body fat & you qualify as obese? Jeez.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Goldmember357

Not at all if you love her

I do not have a perfect body and my wife feels self conscious at times but i think she looks fine and beautiful. I appreciate her body and love the way she looks as you age you go down in looks its only natural. Why would i think any less of the woman i love just cause her boobs are not the same or she gained a little weight?

its not like she gained tons and tons of weight.


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## Goldmember357

tacoma said:


> Yeah it seems their numbers are based upon the falsity that all Americans are comprised of bones organs and fat.
> 
> I`m 5'9" 175 and the FDA BMI charts say I`m overweight.
> 
> I`m trying to gain 5-10 pounds more muscle.
> 
> lol.


DONT USE BMI

BMI Is scientifically incorrect and the Medical community does not use BMI at all its inaccurate and a joke.

You need a total body composition done


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## karma*girl

Great Advice! I get super self-conscious about my really small boobies, but as stated before- I guess small is good too?
That's a new thought to me, but I like it! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Great Advice! I get super self-conscious about my really small boobies, but as stated before- I guess small is good too?
> That's a new thought to me, but I like it!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:smthumbup:

lol, boobies, how cute


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## karma*girl

Haha...yep, that's how I refer to mine! ;D
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Haha...yep, that's how I refer to mine! ;D
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


well, i like boobies, bewbbies, or anything else someone wants too call them.

p.s.
nothing wrong with smallies either.


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## tacoma

Goldmember357 said:


> DONT USE BMI
> 
> BMI Is scientifically incorrect and the Medical community does not use BMI at all its inaccurate and a joke.
> 
> You need a total body composition done


Oh I know.

I had a composition done by a trainer last year (BIA), I`m in good shape not as good as Chilly but good none the less.


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## tacoma

karma*girl said:


> Great Advice! I get super self-conscious about my really small boobies, but as stated before- I guess small is good too?
> That's a new thought to me, but I like it!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This pisses me off too.

The culture has gotten so bad about female body image that females no longer even believe their men when they tell them they love their breasts.
They don`t believe them because they`ve been told men only like HUGE tatas which is absolutely untrue.

Men do like large breasts..... and small breasts, and mid-sized breasts and just breasts in general.
Sure you`ll get guys with fetishes but by and large we just like breasts.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

tacoma said:


> This pisses me off too.
> 
> The culture has gotten so bad about female body image that females no longer even believe their men when they tell them they love their breasts.
> They don`t believe them because they`ve been told men only like HUGE tatas which is absolutely untrue.
> 
> Men do like large breasts..... and small breasts, and mid-sized breasts and just breasts in general.
> Sure you`ll get guys with fetishes but by and large we just like breasts.


too true my friend, too true


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## karma*girl

Thank you soooo much.. Your comment is such confidence booster!
This morning I allowed myself to stand in the bathroom, ALL bare, foing my hair, as I knew my husband was coming up the stairs
& would come right in our bedroom/bathroom...he walked in, looked me up & down & said enthusiastically, "WHOA MAMA!!... Nice!"
I followed him out to greet him & he grabbed me & hugged me from the back & flipped me around to hug me from the front, all the while sporting a big, goofy grin 
He seemed happily surprised that I was just being open~ its SOOO relieving
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karma*girl

*excuse the lovely typos! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Browncoat

tacoma said:


> This pisses me off too.
> 
> The culture has gotten so bad about female body image that females no longer even believe their men when they tell them they love their breasts.
> They don`t believe them because they`ve been told men only like HUGE tatas which is absolutely untrue.
> 
> Men do like large breasts..... and small breasts, and mid-sized breasts and just breasts in general.
> Sure you`ll get guys with fetishes but by and large we just like breasts.


Yep exactly. I've always appreciated my wife's more athletic build.

In my more crass college years we used to joke around that "breasts larger than a handful was more than you can handle".  I know dumb pun... but yeah a lot of my college buddies and I preferred medium to smaller chested women.


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## COguy

karma*girl said:


> Thank you soooo much.. Your comment is such confidence booster!
> This morning I allowed myself to stand in the bathroom, ALL bare, foing my hair, as I knew my husband was coming up the stairs
> & would come right in our bedroom/bathroom...he walked in, looked me up & down & said enthusiastically, "WHOA MAMA!!... Nice!"
> I followed him out to greet him & he grabbed me & hugged me from the back & flipped me around to hug me from the front, all the while sporting a big, goofy grin
> He seemed happily surprised that I was just being open~ its SOOO relieving
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Awesome. Lucky guy....


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## reset button

Yeeeaaa..... awesome. I am so happy for both of you.
Next time you have the urge to cover up just think about that big grin on his face.:smthumbup:


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> Thank you soooo much.. Your comment is such confidence booster!
> This morning I allowed myself to stand in the bathroom, ALL bare, foing my hair, as I knew my husband was coming up the stairs
> & would come right in our bedroom/bathroom...he walked in, looked me up & down & said enthusiastically, "WHOA MAMA!!... Nice!"
> I followed him out to greet him & he grabbed me & hugged me from the back & flipped me around to hug me from the front, all the while sporting a big, goofy grin
> He seemed happily surprised that I was just being open~ its SOOO relieving
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


very cool karma*girl :smthumbup:

worried yourself all this t!me over nothing.
glad for you, and hubby


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## karma*girl

It's SOO cool, thank you!!! 
I'm actually looking forward to jumping him later today- 
..my feelings have shifted from anxiousness... to horniness, lol! 
I'm sure I'll be delving into your minds again soon..I love to be enlightened XO
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

karma*girl said:


> It's SOO cool, thank you!!!
> I'm actually looking forward to jumping him later today-
> ..my feelings have shifted from anxiousness... to horniness, lol!
> I'm sure I'll be delving into your minds again soon..I love to be enlightened XO
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*sniff*
*sniff*
so proud of you
*sniff*
we have raised you into a fine young woman fit for her man now.

enjoy the beginning of your awesome new sexual self karma*girl


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## karma*girl

Lol Thank you, kind sir, thank you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WillK

Hey there KG if you're still following this.. I just thought I'd see what you started off asking when you joined here.

I read the first and last pages, and it sounded like the story has a happy ending. (pun intended) But unless it's on the pages in between, I wanted to expand on a point about the man's perspective on this.

My wife has small breasts, they're fun because they stimulate her so much. That's not my point though.

I'd be sad if my wife withheld my visual stimulation. He's with you and he is turned on by you. What more validation would one need? Sharing with him is a gift to him. He'll enjoy it when you do and miss it when you don't.


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## arbitrator

Let me just say that I greatly miss visually getting to see a naked woman, more especially one that I truly love and care about; and one that feels the same about me!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

arbitrator said:


> Let me just say that I greatly miss visually getting to see a naked woman, more especially one that I truly love and care about; and one that feels the same about me!


yup :/


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## geek down

I think that if you start walking around naked and see the way he looks at you, you will not only improve your self-image, but find yourself being more physical with him..

seeing your SO in just their skin is such a good thing.. I WISH my STBXW did that more..But her body issues caused us to stop having sex, stop doing anything like that and she would cover up with layers and make herself look so unflattering when she really had a great body..scars and all..she still turned me on


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## arbitrator

geek down said:


> I think that if you start walking around naked and see the way he looks at you, you will not only improve your self-image, but find yourself being more physical with him..
> 
> seeing your SO in just their skin is such a good thing.. I WISH my STBXW did that more..But her body issues caused us to stop having sex, stop doing anything like that and she would cover up with layers and make herself look so unflattering when she really had a great body..scars and all..she still turned me on


Geeky: I feel exactly the same way! I've always thought that a woman's body, more especially the one that I dearly loved, while over the course of time just kept looking better and better with each passing day~ kind of like the aging and the enhanced palatability of an extremely fine wine!


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## karma*girl

Yes, hi! I still check in from time to ..so although our sex life was/is great, I wanted to loosen up more.
You know what, reminders like this from you & the others still encourage me & get me going

I have this mad desire & sometimes my reflection stops me in my tracks.. but knowing how you guys feel about it..I feel such a weight lifted off of me.
I never thought of the visual of my naked body as a gift. 
Now, what I can do with it, THAT'S a gift, lol!  

But really, I do see that my response to him will turn him on more, then that turns me on more...and it's a lovely non-vicious cycle..
regardless of what I look like..

I have started running around the house naked, haha! And just being naked in general, doing my make-up, hair, etc..has gotten me much more comfortable with my body.
My next step is taking my shirt ALL the way off in the daylight as I twist & bend into our funky positions we like to tangle up in..
I kind of mentally freak out when my stomach bulges out & folds over & wrinkles, etc..& my boobs disappear in some positions which I also have a hard time reconciling with.
I wonder what it would be like to be flawless & have no thoughts at all about it.
I can't even imagine! :O
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## geek down

arbitrator said:


> Geeky: I feel exactly the same way! I've always thought that a woman's body, more especially the one that I dearly loved, while over the course of time just kept looking better and better with each passing day~ kind of like the aging and the enhanced palatability of an extremely fine wine!


Bingo...Its like a physical aspect to your emotional attachment to her..


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## karma*girl

That is beautiful..I love it. Thank God! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

if your husband is any kind of husband, your body *IS* flawless to him


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## arbitrator

geek down said:


> Bingo...Its like a physical aspect to your emotional attachment to her..


The sad thing is that I still find myself greatly missing all of the loving things of my past relationship when unselfish love just flowed freely on a two way stream and things were beyond good.

But I do not miss at all what that misappropriated love fastly turned into!

Let me choose to remember only the good, and use the bad only to toast the past!


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## SimplyAmorous

Just another Mother chiming in... Don't make the mistakes I did in my marriage...

I've had 6 kids, used to feel just like you for 19 long yrs, I was always hiding behind Eve's leaf for goodness sakes.. wanted the lights out to have sex, it was retarted. I had many inhibitions. 

My C-section scar was cut 6 times, I hate my stomach, he calls it the Loves scars of our children. YES ....*your husband wants to see you naked !! Really he does ! *- I am so angry with myself for looking at life like that -for all of those years, I feel we missed so much , so much of the sexual freedom that could have been. And me loving myself in that way. Accepting myself. 

Trust your husband in what he says ! I think you are getting it -by reading the replies in this thread... I only read the 1st page & some of this last page. Not sure what all I missed.


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## Lon

karma*girl said:


> ...My next step is taking my shirt ALL the way off in the daylight as I twist & bend into our funky positions we like to tangle up in..
> I kind of mentally freak out when my stomach bulges out & folds over & wrinkles, etc..& my boobs disappear in some positions which I also have a hard time reconciling with.


Just the act of twisting and bending into funky positions easily trumps whatever bulges and folds your skin do - in fact it can enhance the effect for your H!



> I wonder what it would be like to be flawless & have no thoughts at all about it.
> I can't even imagine! :O
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Being "flawless" and having no thoughts about it are two entirely separate issues. Nobody is flawless, but even those you are inferring with supermodel bodies most certainly worry about it all the time. Meanwhile a few really confident women of all different body types are able to not think about their body all the time even without all their flaws.

One thing I will say about my ex W, her body was by no means flawless to me, I would have liked it to be more of this and less of that, and so did she I'm sure, but it it was only a small part of who she was, and wow did I love when she was naked, just being comfortable in her skin around me was deeply satisfying to me. It gave us both confidence and was the sexy upward spiral you talked about.

Towards the end she had lost attraction to me, and when she was getting ready she would close the door, or hide herself behind a towel, or run past quickly so I couldn't peak, she said it made her uncomfortable and feel degraded to look at her when she didn't want me to see her naked. It was sad and frustrating for me for that to happen.


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## geek down

arbitrator said:


> The sad thing is that I still find myself greatly missing all of the loving things of my past relationship when unselfish love just flowed freely on a two way stream and things were beyond good.
> 
> But I do not miss at all what that misappropriated love fastly turned into!
> 
> Let me choose to remember only the good, and use the bad only to toast the past!


When we first moved in, we 'christened' every part of every room..Now I just walk from room to room and look at all the old memories...

then I remember we also had a major fight in all the same places..


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## Zippy the chimp

I have told my wife those marks and bumps or whatever are part of life our life we have 4 beautiful kids, I know she wouldn't want to give up any of them just to not have a few marks on her body. All the marks, scars, the little extra weight they are all part of living your life and your husband has committed to spending his life with you no matter what changes happen to your body because he loves you.


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## The_Swan

It is so very difficult to conquer that demon. 
Us women are constantly bombarded with Photoshopped images of an unobtainable standard. 
That has made us so self-judgmental that we have a hard time appreciating what we have and seeing the beauty we possess. 

Early on in our marriage, I expressed doubt that my husband thought I was sexy. 
He told me that it was one of the most hurtful things I could tell him. 
Ever since that moment, I've worked on accepting myself. 
Granted, it's not always easy and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be doubt-free about my body. 

My husband compliments my body all the time and I believe him.
I'm not afraid to parade around in panties and sexy lingerie, either. 

Keep going with the exercise, Karma Girl. 
Even if you never look "perfect" exercise is one of the best medicines out there for lack of confidence and stress. 
I find that when little stresses build up, they distort my thinking and I'll turn that lens onto myself. 

Exercise is a form of self-preservation. :smthumbup:


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## Runs like Dog

Nope.


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## chillymorn

a bottle of wine and some naked twister.

now thats a fun time!


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## OneLoveXo

So yesterday I was changing my shirt and was full naked for a second, and my bf was looking at me through the mirror and was "mmmmm", instead of puting my shirt back on I remembered this thread and decided not to put it back on, my bf really loved it and couldn't stay away from my body-no matter what opinion I have of it. Needles to say that followed with some incredible foreplay and sex


----------



## OneLoveXo

arbitrator said:


> Geeky: I feel exactly the same way! I've always thought that a woman's body, more especially the one that I dearly loved, while over the course of time just kept looking better and better with each passing day~ kind of like the aging and the enhanced palatability of an extremely fine wine!


For you gentleman whose ladies won't sleep with you or won't reveal themselves because of self image issues, do something to really show her just how much you are attracted to her, rip her clothes off and tell her you can't stand not seeing her naked because of how much you love her body. Don't just say "mmM" and small comments, make them BIG and LOUD.

The more you tell and show them just how much you love their bodies the more they will believe it.

My bf has told many times he finds me extremely sexy and stuff, but I wish he would have shown it by ripping my clothes off or something, and just not giving me control of covering up. Just take those clothes off of them, if she is not convinced the first time she will soon.

But you've to REALLY REALLY show it. Women needs to see it in a big way. Bring her flowers, make her dinner, and than rip her clothes off and have sex, and take some time to tell her exactly how much you love her body.

Do that once in a while and I will doubt she will want to cover up so much. I think most women don't believe it because men say it so quietly and in small hints/sentences. A woman needs an explosion sometimes to get it  If my bf did that I wouldn't have any choice but believe it!


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## karma*girl

Thanks everyone..I love everyone's stories & input- this is one thread I really enjoy on a regular basis! I also love how others can visit it for their own inspiration..
I still say, the more insight, the merrier- it's so interesting to know what people REALLY think on tbis subject.

Up until I wrote this, I honestly did not believe *for a second* that my husband was being honest about thinking I am sexy- I just COULD NOT believe him. I figured he Had to say those things because he's my husband.. never imagined he could actually be thinking it. (honestly, I feel sooo sexy, but feel I don't 'look' sexy..)

But reading what others really think & knowing there is no need for hiding the truth here, it really opened my eyes...and then it was like a brick hitting me in the head. 
I began thinking in a totally new way & it's been a mind-blower, ha!
Although, I have my crappy days, I am generally way more happy about myself & not so concerned about how he's going to feel seeing me in the flesh..
I still leave my shirt on..cannot muster the courage yet...ahhhh..
I envy you, OneLove!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## karma*girl

...in response to your second comment, YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

I could not agree more! I wish my H would do that, but I know he doesn't want me to feel uncomfortable or cross any boundaries- I respect that, but in this case, of he'd just pull off my shirt & really show me he WANTS me butt-naked, I'd definitely be uncomfortable, but it would only last a little while, like ripping off a band-aid! Lol!

Touch me, caress me, kiss me all over the bits you know I'm shy about- he totally has all the power to pull me out of my shell.
Now, how do I get him to do that?? I can't tell him to, then I won't know if he really wants to, because it was my idea.
If that sort of show of determination & reassurance was repeated again & again- the message would be loud & clear & I'd be ALLLL over him, just me & this naked body
GREAT ADVICE!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## arbitrator

OneLoveXo said:


> For you gentleman whose ladies won't sleep with you or won't reveal themselves because of self image issues, do something to really show her just how much you are attracted to her, rip her clothes off and tell her you can't stand not seeing her naked because of how much you love her body. Don't just say "mmM" and small comments, make them BIG and LOUD.
> 
> The more you tell and show them just how much you love their bodies the more they will believe it.
> 
> My bf has told many times he finds me extremely sexy and stuff, but I wish he would have shown it by ripping my clothes off or something, and just not giving me control of covering up. Just take those clothes off of them, if she is not convinced the first time she will soon.
> 
> But you've to REALLY REALLY show it. Women needs to see it in a big way. Bring her flowers, make her dinner, and than rip her clothes off and have sex, and take some time to tell her exactly how much you love her body.
> 
> Do that once in a while and I will doubt she will want to cover up so much. I think most women don't believe it because men say it so quietly and in small hints/sentences. A woman needs an explosion sometimes to get it  If my bf did that I wouldn't have any choice but believe it!


While what you say is totally something that I would subscribe to and believe in, I can't help but have flashbacks and bad memories of catching hell for the good things that I thought that I have done. To wit: All from the same woman.

*Buy flowers* "They're too expensive, we can't afford them," or "Such a small bouquet." 

*Make Dinner for her* "You know I don't like spicy food, and you know I have acid reflux." Now this is the same woman who can knock back a fajita platter at a restaurant with nary a problem.

*Take her to Dinner* "We don't have the money to eat out,"
or "I don't like the restaurants you pick."

*Tell her She's Beautiful!* "I don't believe you. You're just saying that to get what you want," or "Well, it's a little late now, I'm not in the mood!"

*Make A Pass/ Rip her Clothes Off* "I'm not in the mood," or "You had your chance and you blew it," "Trying to satisfy yourself at my expense, I see!"

*Do work for her* "Glad to see that you took the initiative to do a little work, but it's not nearly enough," or "While I appreciate what you did, it was not really a high priority item with me," or "I could have done a much better job all by myself," or "The next time you start a job, let me know. Maybe I don't want it done!"

*Gifts for Her* "We can't afford it," or "I don't like the lingeree that you pick out," or "I have that already!"

Now wouldn't it be safe to assume that with all of these objections being issued on her part, that it might just take a little bit of an edge off of the romantic side of your life? 

It was richly just a situation of "damned if you do, and damned if you don't!"


----------



## SimplyAmorous

Artibrator..... some wives would kill for all those things you just listed.... sounds you had spoiled her rotten, I think one of the greatest hinderances to marriage is a lack of Gratitude and thankfulness for the little things. Shame shame, will we ever learn. I complained some in my early marraige too .. some of us need a "gutter" experience to see the light.


----------



## arbitrator

SimplyAmorous said:


> Artibrator..... some wives would kill for all those things you just listed.... sounds you had spoiled her rotten, I think one of the greatest hinderances to marriage is a lack of Gratitude and thankfulness for the little things. Shame shame, will we ever learn. I complained some in my early marraige too .. some of us need a "gutter" experience to see the light.


Simply: She is a very attractive woman of notable wealth. Initially in the relationship, she didn't or refused to show it, but as time progressed, she fervently played the "rich me, poor you" card with frequency. Her extended family, conversely was not that way. Only her!

Her stereotype is that if you gave her a $50 Dollar bill, she'd whine and complain that it wasn't a $100!


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## karma*girl

It sounds like she did not know a good thing when she had it~ you're right, all of those things do nothing for the romance in a relationship~
You are not to blame..she was unfortunately too self-centered to appreciate a good man.
(I think OneLove's point was geared more toward men who have self-conscious wives & how to help open them up to being happily naked in their presence.)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## stoney1215

karma*girl said:


> Hi guys! I'm a new girl visiting~ I've been reading posts for a few months now & decided it's time I ask my question.
> Btw- I respect & appreciate the level of intelligence & candor that is shared here by all
> I understand that it is very important for a man to view his wife naked in all her glory..
> From what I hear, it feeds a man emotionally as well as physically, etc..
> I am married to a great guy & have great relationship, but my body-image is not so awesome..so it's essentially MY issue, not his.
> FYI- I am petite, fit, healthy- sounds good except, my boobs are very small after nursing for a combined 4 years+ and after 3 kids, my stomach is a mess- add c-section scars & it isn't the most
> attractive thing.
> 
> My question is, is it possible that he actually wants to see me naked anyway?
> I'll grab a towel & cover up if he comes in the bathroom & he asks why..
> I say, trust me you don't really WANT/ need to see~ yes, that is the body image issues talking & but no I have not been to counseling about it.
> So, I'm genuinely asking- why would a man want to see even of it isn't good? Could you still be turned on?
> Our sex life is great however because I do have the ability to let the insecurities go for a time, as long as too much isn't exposed, but if I could just quit worrying about it, it could be phenomenal.
> He doesn't complain or make any negative comments because he knows it's a very touchy issue for me.
> So that's it. I just don't want to disappoint him.
> Thank you for listening!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



what does he look like ? would you still find him attractive if the situations were reversed ? if he was the one with the scars from your kids , with the small , or their equivelent , boobs from nursing ? could you still find him attractive with him looking like that ? is it possible for you ? 

i would assume that you said without hesitation of course i could and would still find him attractive and want to see him naked . if that is the case is it really so hard to believe that he feels the same as you do ? 

we are all our own worse critics . our percieved flaws stand out to us like shining beacons . luckily our partners have their own eyes and see what they see and what they like for themselves . 

of course he wants to see you naked ! you are his wife , his partner , the mother of his children , and he thinks you are beautiful . flaws and all . and that should put a smile on your face . so trust your husband , give him the beautiful , naked wife he desires .


----------



## stoney1215

nachopenguin said:


> I understand you karma*girl and have the same issues with myself. I'm not petite and can never understand why my husband would want to look at me. Thanks for this post and all the responses to it.


isnt it obvious ? your husband isnt into petite girls . ever heard of chubby chasers ? my brother , and my son are both chubby chasers . 

but more than anything ..... your husband wants YOU . he is attracted to YOU . he finds YOU attractive and desireable . 

and last but not least ...... beauty is in the eye of the beholder . and you my dear are the beholder of his eye ........


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## stoney1215

karma*girl said:


> Hearing how men really feel, is tremendously encouraging!
> In response to Nice777..the filters we sometimes see ourselves through are often so debilitating, they hold us back, if we let them.
> Media, porn, etc...makes us feel like if we aren't at that level, somehow we are sub-par, physically at least.
> The fact that men check out other women, watch porn, things like that- I think those things make it hard for a girl like me to feel I measure up.
> My hubby has done all this, although not in excess or in a way that was deliberately hurtful. It's just happens.
> But, it also makes me less likely to want to be sexual with him.. because a self-conscious girl doesn't feel all that sexy~however I realize it's not up to him to make me confident- that's an inside job.
> BUT- knowing that most of what holds me back is ME, makes it so much easier to feel comfortable just being myself & not stressing about what he's going to think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



women look at other men too !!!!! maybe not as often or as blatantly as men , but you do look . im sure if you had more to look at you would look more . 

you are not competing with the girls , porn stars , actresses , or odels that we men drool over on a daily basis any more than we are competing against brad pit , george clooney , singers,actors, models , or even the hot teacher at your kids school . 

we all have eyes , and they still work , even after we are married . 

some people have been blessed with beauty , and great bodies . the rest of us are normal people . and that counts for 99% of us .


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## stoney1215

karma*girl said:


> It's horrible- I have 2 daughters & I'm trying my very, very best to impress upon them of their worthiness, apart from physicalities.
> I don't talk negative about myself ever in front of them- or if something comes to light, I just point out how I love myself anyway & that I am really strong & capable regardless of what I look like.
> (I should internalize these things myself!)
> I am a size 4, so my issue is feeling too skinny, although, I eat healthy, workout an average amount, etc..
> I WISH I had some extra weight!!
> Reset- being a perfectionist messes everything up! I loved your comment, thank you!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



i think it is much better to be realistic about it . am i as good looking as BRAD PITT ? absolutely not . is my body as sexy as MARK WAHLBERG ? not even remotely . BRAT PITT is one of the best looking men ever . i am no where near . MARK WAHLBERG has an amazing body . i have no where near . models are on the cover of magazines because they are better looking or have better bodies than the rest of us . if we all looked like that they would put some fat ugly people on magazines and call them beautiful . everyone except the ones you see on the cover of magazines is what normal and beautiful is . and thats what i am normal and beautiful . and so are you . if you werent you would be on the cover of the magazine .


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## stoney1215

karma*girl said:


> It's SOO cool, thank you!!!
> I'm actually looking forward to jumping him later today-
> ..my feelings have shifted from anxiousness... to horniness, lol!
> I'm sure I'll be delving into your minds again soon..I love to be enlightened XO
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




oh by the way those beautiful women on magazines that give you the complex . you are too skinny at a size 4 and they are generally a 0 or a 2 . so if you are too skinny what would you consider them to be ?


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## Santa

Yes!! He really wants to see you naked!!! As much as possible!!! So stop worrying and posted and get naked when he comes home!!


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## Riverside MFT

karma*girl
Thank you for starting this thread. In my marriage counseling practice in Southern California, I often try to explain to wives that their husbands love to see them completely naked, imperfections and all. They don't see the imperfections, they see the woman they love. Thank you, Thank you for this thread. I have already started refering other women here for a perspective on what their husband might think of them.


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## MooseAndSquirrel

Yes, yes, yes. Naked is good! When I look at the woman I love, I see the perfections, I don't notice imperfections.


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## karma*girl

I am still thoroughly enjoying the comments here~ they are a continual source of encouragement for me & hopefully for many other women who feel like I do.

It's SOO good to know that my issue could possibly bring better awareness to others..(& shed new light on these issues we face.)

Now, I am at the point where I believe my husband when he says he WANTS to see me in the nude, however I still haven't been able to understand it.

The 'why' part stumps me- mentally I think I know, but on a heart level, I get tripped up. 

My mind just repeats, why on earth would you want to? It's hard for me to 'get it.'

However, this thread has guided me so much closer to where I need to be..thank you!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sandc

You're the most beautiful woman in the world when you are the only naked woman in the room. Can't remember who said that but it is so true.


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## Mime

karma*girl said:


> .................
> Confidence is very sexy~


*Bingo!*


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## karma*girl

I love that you still enjoy her nakedness~ that's encouraging!
See, I can show loads of outward confidence in the bedroom, but inside, the fears of what I'm looking like come in spurts..
I'm thinking- "yikes, hope he's not grossed out here...ahhh!!" "okay shut up, relax, enjoy him! Let him enjoy you!"
Then I focus back in the moment- 
(After babies, things are not all tight & smooth as before, so it's hard at times to feel totally free..)
I'm working on getting over it, still...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vanguard

Yes. He wants to see you naked.


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## badbane

Just read the OP and my dear child. If you have female parts. He will want to see them. The more often the better. Regardless of scars or whatever. There is a life time of love on your body. Scars are just a part of it. No one is perfect not even the women in the magazines. Just watch what goes into a glamour magazine shot. There is a reason photo shop costs nearly $500 bucks. 

It is also a sign of confidence to your man. My wife has self esteem issues but she never looks hotter than when she is standing tall. Heck one day she come out in all her glory and I didn't realize that my mouth was open. She just said what. (she is rare walks around fully naked) I really did say anything but I know what we did.


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## bubbly girl

Karma*girl, I was self conscious like you, and come to find out THAT was what was turning my husband off. He found it insulting that he would compliment my body, tell me I'm sexy and I would scoff at it. 

Confidence counts for a whole lot when it comes to sexiness. I now believe my husband when he tells me I'm sexy. It's evident that I turn him on. He can't exactly hide his arousal. LOL

Sex is soooo much better now that I'm not self conscious naked around my husband. He can look at me and touch me anywhere he wants.


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## MattMatt

Seeing my wife naked is good. But holding her naked body against mine? Even better!


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## ocotillo

I stumbled across something today that I thought fit this thread.

Julia Child (From The French Chef) was a helluva cook, but a supermodel she was not.

That didn't matter to Paul Child even a little bit. He absolutely adored Julia. 

To give you some idea, here's an excerpt from a birthday card he sent on her 49th birthday:


"..Whose sweetly rounded bottom and whose legs,
Whose gracious face, whose nature temperate 
Are only equaled by her scrambled eggs."​



Lets hear it for true love...


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## F-102

I don't necessarily want to see my wife NAKED.

But I sure DO want to see MY WIFE naked.


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## karma*girl

^^^ I like that..because she's YOUR WIFE, you want to see her naked. 
I would not have understood this in the past, but after learning how husbands think, I get it.

Ocotillo- thanks for the addition to this most wonderful thread...my favorite & I must say it's highly responsible for my letting loose sexually & becoming more adventurous & less worried about how I look naked. The wise words shared here have seriously helped me overcome most of my self-consciousness.
It still hits on occasion but I'm better at ignoring it now.
...and when I am successful at focusing on my confident side, let's just say we both benefit in a big way
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Goldmember357

its called love. Even in marriages that will fail because its not a "true love" as in there is not passion, intimacy, and commitment. As long as their is intimacy you are good in the attraction department. 

trust me he wants to see you naked.


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## 40isthenew20

My wife is similar and covers up in front of me. She may have had some difficulty getting back to where she was before giving birth twice (and a c-section scar on one of tem), but I adore her body any way it is and love to see her nude. 

She feels 'fat' and out of shape, even though she is not that at all and carried a large baby (same a the c-section one), so, sure, there's some stretched out skin in her abdominal area. But I don't mind one bit and find her sexy. 

I love her and even though I would find her hot just for that reason alone, I also find her physically attractive, as well.


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## [email protected]

My wife has similar issues, and I love seeing her naked. Of course she thinks otherwise, after having 2 kids. I agree with some of the other posts, she had our children, and she should be praised for it, not feel bad.


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## oldgeezer

karma*girl said:


> FYI- I am petite, fit, healthy- sounds good except, my boobs are very small after nursing for a combined 4 years+ and after 3 kids, my stomach is a mess- add c-section scars & it isn't the most
> attractive thing.
> 
> My question is, is it possible that he actually wants to see me naked anyway?
> I'll grab a towel & cover up if he comes in the bathroom & he asks why..
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I can't speak for all men, but covering up means you're "hiding" from him. I don't know exactly how to explain, but in a relationship, trusting goes hand in hand with naked. Yeah, if she loves me she'll show me her "bits". Seems really simplistic, I know, but that's how I, and I know a few others, see it. You think it's about putting on a show for him to see all the beauty, and you're worried about the flaws. He just wants you to to be open and trust him to let him see you. 

My wife is no longer that slim waist-ed chick with the incredibly cute butt she had when when we got married decades ago, and health issues have made her put on a lot of weight she has made herculean efforts to lose. But if she'll still take off her clothes and be naked around me, it means she still accepts me - and damn, if that isn't the sexiest thing a woman can do! Now, perhaps when you're 80, that just might not be what he wants to see, but by then, one would hope the security of decades of trust and love makes that a moot point. 

Please, don't show your man he's no longer accepted by you, and you reject him by covering up and hiding from him. Once upon a time, you thought "Showing" him something was hot and he knew he "had" you when you would. Don't withdraw it, he'll feel like he's lost you, like you're shutting him out.


----------



## hookares

karma*girl said:


> Hi guys! I'm a new girl visiting~ I've been reading posts for a few months now & decided it's time I ask my question.
> Btw- I respect & appreciate the level of intelligence & candor that is shared here by all
> I understand that it is very important for a man to view his wife naked in all her glory..
> From what I hear, it feeds a man emotionally as well as physically, etc..
> I am married to a great guy & have great relationship, but my body-image is not so awesome..so it's essentially MY issue, not his.
> FYI- I am petite, fit, healthy- sounds good except, my boobs are very small after nursing for a combined 4 years+ and after 3 kids, my stomach is a mess- add c-section scars & it isn't the most
> attractive thing.
> 
> My question is, is it possible that he actually wants to see me naked anyway?
> I'll grab a towel & cover up if he comes in the bathroom & he asks why..
> I say, trust me you don't really WANT/ need to see~ yes, that is the body image issues talking & but no I have not been to counseling about it.
> So, I'm genuinely asking- why would a man want to see even of it isn't good? Could you still be turned on?
> Our sex life is great however because I do have the ability to let the insecurities go for a time, as long as too much isn't exposed, but if I could just quit worrying about it, it could be phenomenal.
> He doesn't complain or make any negative comments because he knows it's a very touchy issue for me.
> So that's it. I just don't want to disappoint him.
> Thank you for listening!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Does he really want to see you naked?
In a word, YES!


----------



## karma*girl

Thank you, that really hits home & you explained it so nicely..
It's a double-edged sword sometimes for me because if I don't get comfortable being naked in front of him, he'll feel possibly rejected- I DO NOT want that at all-on the flip-side, doing so, feels like nails down a chalk board to me & everytime, I have huge fear that I will be the one being rejected, even if that isn't logical ..although I admit it has gotten much better for me...I go back & forth, depending on how I'm feeling. 
He hasn't been in a sexual mood lately due to too much on his plate & although I totally understand, these are the times I am less likely to put myself out there for him. I still WANT him but I am right now at the mercy of his drive, sigh.....
So, in turn, I feel way less motivated to expose myself completely.
Maybe that's not the right thing to do, but it's what feels safe.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WyshIknew

I love seeing my wife naked, I love seeing her walking around in her panties (especially if they are nice)

I love watching her in the bedroom putting her bra on sometimes in the morning, she does this cute thing of sort of leaning forward and popping her breasts into her bra.
I love lifting up the sheets in bed when it is daylight and gazing at her body.

So yes he loves looking at you naked if he is anything like me with my wife and probably does so with lust, awe and love.


----------



## Anonymous07

karma*girl said:


> Hi guys! I'm a new girl visiting~ I've been reading posts for a few months now & decided it's time I ask my question.
> Btw- I respect & appreciate the level of intelligence & candor that is shared here by all
> I understand that it is very important for a man to view his wife naked in all her glory..
> From what I hear, it feeds a man emotionally as well as physically, etc..
> I am married to a great guy & have great relationship, but my body-image is not so awesome..so it's essentially MY issue, not his.
> FYI- I am petite, fit, healthy- sounds good except, my boobs are very small after nursing for a combined 4 years+ and after 3 kids, my stomach is a mess- add c-section scars & it isn't the most
> attractive thing.
> 
> My question is, is it possible that he actually wants to see me naked anyway?
> I'll grab a towel & cover up if he comes in the bathroom & he asks why..
> I say, trust me you don't really WANT/ need to see~ yes, that is the body image issues talking & but no I have not been to counseling about it.
> So, I'm genuinely asking- why would a man want to see even of it isn't good? Could you still be turned on?
> Our sex life is great however because I do have the ability to let the insecurities go for a time, as long as too much isn't exposed, but if I could just quit worrying about it, it could be phenomenal.
> He doesn't complain or make any negative comments because he knows it's a very touchy issue for me.
> So that's it. I just don't want to disappoint him.
> Thank you for listening!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As a short answer, Yes. 

You need to change the way you view your body, as you are only hurting yourself by those feelings. I wish I had a good reason for all of my scars like you do from having children. I have multiple scars from surgeries and injuries. They are not "pretty" to look at, but I know my husband loves my body. He likes to trace the scar with his finger and tells me how beautiful I am all the time. Confidence is sexy and holding back on your husband won't help you or him. You have created children with your body and should never be ashamed of how it looks. Let go of the negativity and move forward. 



tacoma said:


> Yes, he wants to see you nude.
> 
> You may think you look bad but I`m telling you he most likely doesn`t agree with you.
> 
> My wife is very petite, c-section scar, breasts that seem to inflate and deflate depending on time of the month, eating habits..whatever.
> All these things bother her.
> 
> I think she`s a goddess.
> If she hid her body from me it would seriously irritate me to no end.
> 
> I can`t explain the pleasure having access to her body gives me.
> It`s not simply physical.


:iagree:


----------



## karma*girl

I know I need to permanently ditch the negativity about myself...I am doing better, but if I am being honest, the feelings still come up.
I WISH I could be as confident as I am when I have had a few drinks..I still think about it but don't care.
I know being confident is the key- sometimes it's hard when you feel you have little to be confident about- idk- today's a hard day.
...Usually I feel more positive, except today, not really :O
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## oldgeezer

karma*girl said:


> It's a double-edged sword sometimes for me because if I don't get comfortable being naked in front of him, he'll feel possibly rejected- I DO NOT want that at all-on the flip-side, doing so, feels like nails down a chalk board to me & everytime, I have huge fear that I will be the one being rejected, even if that isn't logical ..although I admit it has gotten much better for me...I go back & forth, depending on how I'm feeling.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Who said feelings are logical? That's why God gave us a brain with two halves, one to feel with, and one to override those feelings with judgment. 

First of all... Know this: If your husband EVER says "cover up, I don't want see that..." THEN you have something to worry about, and it isn't your appearance, AT ALL. It's an active animosity. 

Until such point, cover up if you want, and let HIM pull off the towel. Teach him he has the freedom to do so by flirtingly daring him to do so. It might take a few times, because he's concerned you'll be uptight. But once he learns by experience ( telling him is no use at all, you gotta go through it a few times, us men are slow learners like you can't imagine..) it's safe, he'll do it when he wants and you know he absolutely will not reject, because he already knows what he's going to see, and you know it, too, and he gets the fun of being a little naughty. And, if he's really not in the mood, you aren't being rejected, he's just not into it at the moment. 

If he does yank off the towel or peel the robe, squish up against him and give him a big sloppy kiss on the lips with a big hug. 

Hell, that might change him from a LD to an HD. 

Again, it's not the imperfections, it's the ... how do I say it... reveling in each other's intimacy that matters. Might be the wrong way to say it. It might be stated better as "being inside each other's vulnerable zone", and that's the sexiest thing there is - by far - including the most provocative pose by Miss (insert month here).


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## karma*girl

Luckily, he never says to cover up, but I conjure the image up & imagine he would...I know, I'm lame.

I think a lot of it is that he does not want to make me uncomfortable, so he allows me my privacy.

BUT if he insisted on seeing me & reassured me he WANTS to & is still attracted to me, I'd think, 'to hell with my insecurities, if he's fine, I'm fine.'

However, he doesn't ever come close to trying to take my shirt off...in the light, at least...which reinforced that he doesn't want to see me.

I love to be vulnerable for him, but it feels like I'm kind of stuck & can't really be.

But you're right- being in that vulnerable place, together, is a very sweet spot!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TopazGal

you know.....I have major self image problems and would hide all the time.....but over the past 3 years I would say I said screw it.....I am naked whenever I can be.....I have had 3 kids naturally....I have had a hysterectomy the davinci style leaving scars on my stomach.....but you know what...he loves me right....or he would not be with me!!! I really have a problem with my boobs.....they are ski slopes.....have wonderful Ni**les tho.....but still ski slopes so oh well we all have flaws and if the kids are in bed.....I walk around in the buff all get out!! LOL


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## karma*girl

^^ Lol I admire your ability to say screw it, and just be comfortable in your skin. 
Sounds like your hubby appreciates that too! I just wish I didn't have it SOOOO engrained in my head that I need to be extremely attractive in order to be worthy of feeling that level of comfort.
I hate that & it goes totally against what I know in my heart. But my damn head is in constant competition & often convinces me to be careful & cautious of letting down my guard.
It's such a detriment to my whole-self.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WasDecimated

I always loved seeing my STBXW naked. 

After 3 children, she had body issues as well. She would complain about stretch marks, weight gain, c-section scar, sagging here and there...etc. The truth is, I loved her. I loved the way she looked in every respect. Any perceived imperfection that bothered her meant something to me. They represented life experiences that we shared together. That's what made them beautiful! In no way did they make me want her less. In fact it was the opposite...I wanted her more.

Cover up if it makes you feel better but you will be denying your husband your true beauty.


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## TopazGal

karma*girl said:


> ^^ Lol I admire your ability to say screw it, and just be comfortable in your skin.
> Sounds like your hubby appreciates that too! I just wish I didn't have it SOOOO engrained in my head that I need to be extremely attractive in order to be worthy of feeling that level of comfort.
> I hate that & it goes totally against what I know in my heart. But my damn head is in constant competition & often convinces me to be careful & cautious of letting down my guard.
> It's such a detriment to my whole-self.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


dont forget it took me a long time to get there.....but we are married and he tells me I am beautiful....and that he wants me so hey ok then......and if he gets to be free and walk around naked so do i :smthumbup: I am sure you are way prettier than i am and have a way prettier body........so please give it a try....go for it.....be happy .....


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## karma*girl

Oh, I don't know about that..I'm sure you are beautiful- especially to have the confidence to be bare! I think the confidence makes you sexy/beautiful!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COguy

karma*girl said:


> Oh, I don't know about that..I'm sure you are beautiful- especially to have the confidence to be bare! I think the confidence makes you sexy/beautiful!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sure you both are beautiful. Now shut up and get naked.


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## OldGirl

COguy said:


> I'm sure you both are beautiful. Now shut up and get naked.


:rofl:


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## karma*girl

okay, okay, jeez. 

I'm beautiful, sexy, amazing & should get naked as much as possible in front of my husband in full on light, jump his bones & ride him into the sunset~(because I think that's all he cares about anyway...)

Well, that & sports! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COguy

karma*girl said:


> okay, okay, jeez.
> 
> I'm beautiful, sexy, amazing & should get naked as much as possible in front of my husband in full on light, jump his bones & ride him into the sunset~(because I think that's all he cares about anyway...)
> 
> Well, that & sports!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Show your husband what you just wrote and see what he does. I bet his eyes light up like lightbulbs and he gets all giggly.


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## karma*girl

I should, huh? 

...here, let me pour myself a couple glasses of red, then it's game On! Haha!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COguy

karma*girl said:


> I should, huh?
> 
> ...here, let me pour myself a couple glasses of red, then it's game On! Haha!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No screw that, do it sober. You need fresh mind for this experiment.


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## karma*girl

I know. You're right.

It's seriously so embarrassing though! Ugh!!!! :|

Imagine your balls were deflated & your weiner was the size of a 12 year olds, then try to be confident in front of a woman..

But I know- shut the heck up & just do it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COguy

karma*girl said:


> I know. You're right.
> 
> It's seriously so embarrassing though! Ugh!!!! :|
> 
> Imagine your balls were deflated & your weiner was the size of a 12 year olds, then try to be confident in front of a woman..
> 
> But I know- shut the heck up & just do it!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Happened. Skinny dipping last weekend in the freezing cold SC river. You just gotta roll with it. I wouldn't tell you to do it if I wasn't 100% confident in your husband's response.


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## karma*girl

Hahaha...Ooh, that sounds fun ..but at least it wasn't permanent!! 

Okay- your confidence is helping push me..I have been better, but fall backwards at times.

So- alright, alright. I'm gonna do it tonight...or tomorrow & I'll report back
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VenturaCaliGuy

Ok, mind you I am unfortunately ending a long term relationship but I still have my opinions on this. I absolutely loved to see my girlfriend (or ex now) naked. She has irregular boobs (one is much bigger and the other almost doesn’t exist) and she has a stomach from 2 child births. She is uncomfortable with herself image but I love it when she’s naked. Even more so when the room is lite because I can look at her beautiful body and glamor and ogle over it with amazement that I get to enjoy her. Try your hardest to let him see you naked because I assure you he is in love with your body no matter how many kids or scars. Those are the imperfect things that make your body perfect to him.


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## richie33

As much as I tell me wife I don't see what she sees, she doesn't really believe me. We have had two children in two years. To me her body is better now than ever. I love everything about her ( except the insecurities). I love what's on the outside and what's on the inside. I go crazy when she walks around in bra and panty.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oldgeezer

karma*girl said:


> However, he doesn't ever come close to trying to take my shirt off...in the light, at least...which reinforced that he doesn't want to see me.
> 
> I love to be vulnerable for him, but it feels like I'm kind of stuck & can't really be.
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, what have you been teaching him? That you aren't ok with being naked, so, you've enforced the boundary that says it's only up to you, not him. 

Now, if that boundary is where you want it, stop complaining. Us men are a lot like Pavlov's dogs. It takes repetition and reinforcement to unlearn something we've had to learn. He isn't bringing it up and he isn't doing anything, because you have been teaching him for (insert number of years) you aren't going there. How's he supposed to know that your hesitation is your own fears, not a boundary HE isn't supposed to cross?


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## 99RedBalloons

Guys like to see anything naked. If you have at least 1 leg, 1 hand, a head and a butt then the guy will automatically love seeing you nude. It's just the way they are wired. I'm not sure what the right word to use is.... they are not very picky.


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## frankd

My wife often asks "why in the world would you want to see me naked?"
I can't explain because I'm speechless. Why am I speechless you ask?
Here's the scenario: she's showering, and I gaze at her through the foggy glass (oh yes, a good long time) but she can't see me. There is extensive drooling involved.*
Then I do whatever I'm doing, but time it perfectly so I'm there as soon as she comes out and I pounce!
No part of that beautiful body goes untouched or unkissed - oh yes, I'm talking everywhere!*
In addition to all the exposed parts, also all the secret spots as well!
And my attention is not diminished on the cesarean scar, nor the tummy or any other part that's been mentioned throughout this thread. *
At this point she asks me the question at the beginning of this reply.*
I can't answer, because I'm speechless.*
Repeat, repeat, repeat the above as often as possible. Even after 22 years, I'll never get tired of it.*
I love her, all of her. And I love to look at her, all of her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wazza

99RedBalloons said:


> Guys like to see anything naked. If you have at least 1 leg, 1 hand, a head and a butt then the guy will automatically love seeing you nude. It's just the way they are wired. I'm not sure what the right word to use is.... they are not very picky.


LOL....only partly true, and doesn't in any way describe how I feel about my wife naked.

It's her, my life partner. She's beautiful just as she is.


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## stoney1215

karma*girl said:


> Hearing how men really feel, is tremendously encouraging!
> In response to Nice777..the filters we sometimes see ourselves through are often so debilitating, they hold us back, if we let them.
> Media, porn, etc...makes us feel like if we aren't at that level, somehow we are sub-par, physically at least.
> The fact that men check out other women, watch porn, things like that- I think those things make it hard for a girl like me to feel I measure up.
> My hubby has done all this, although not in excess or in a way that was deliberately hurtful. It's just happens.
> But, it also makes me less likely to want to be sexual with him.. because a self-conscious girl doesn't feel all that sexy~however I realize it's not up to him to make me confident- that's an inside job.
> BUT- knowing that most of what holds me back is ME, makes it so much easier to feel comfortable just being myself & not stressing about what he's going to think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i can not understand why women compare themselves to movie stars and the women on magazine covers . those women are on magazine covers because they look the way they do . they are models . they look so good that people pay them to look at them and take their picture . everyone else in the world is not a model . we are the normal looking people . if everyone looked like the people on magazine covers than that would be normal and the people on the magazine would look like everyone does now . a little fat a little out of shape and wearing a size 10 . men dont look at brad pit and say dam he is great looking with 6 pack abs i dont measure up to him so my wife doesnt think i look good . we see brad pit and go dam brad pit how does he get to look like that and get to be rich too . then we look at the guys we see at the market or our friends and say i look pretty good compared to most guys my age . also if you can look at your husbands hairy back and plumbers crack and nose hair and still find him attractive why would you think that he doesnt look at your scars that gave him his kids , and your boobs that he gets to see naked every day and your jiggly but that he grabs every chance he gets and find you attractive ?


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## arbitrator

In a way, "personality" is clothing in a way. Greatly depending upon the mesh of her, as well as my personality, and a given affinity for the potential of love and exclusivity, I really don't know if I would be anywhere near ready to see her _sans_ clothing, without the inclusion of those circumstances!


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## ATX Lady

Is this post still active? Anyone still around? I have a question, what is the age in general... Do we have any 60 year olds out there?


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## Young at Heart

ATX Lady said:


> Is this post still active? Anyone still around? I have a question, what is the age in general... Do we have any 60 year olds out there?


Dear ATX Lady, this is a zombie thread, so you might be better off starting a new thread in the Sex in Marriage Focused topic area. Alternately maybe a moderator will start with you question and the title and create a new thread.

I am 68 years old man and love to see my 68 year old wife naked. She doesn't like me looking at her naked body, but yes, I like her naked body as we have been married for over 46 years. She is the love of my life, the woman I have shared so much with. All of the scars, pounds of extra weight, and sag of gravity are part of the history we have shared with each other.

If you question is: do men like to look at women who are 60 and over naked? The answer is yes.

In fact there is lots of porn out there about "mature women" "Grannies" etc. Not every guy wants to see naked 25year olds. Google grannie porn and have a look many of the women are old wrinkled, overweight, grey haired, etc.


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## Suspect

The husbands here sound so loving towards their wife's. Many women have insecurities, that being said some of those not posting or not being fully honest will not admit that some of these insecurities can be contributed to the behavior of their husband. 

Such as telling their wife they are beautiful and then finds out they are secretly looking at photos of other women naked that have been airbrushed and made unrealistic. This puts a huge voice in a woman's head and heart.


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