# Husband Hates My Work Choices



## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

Hello, I’m new here and I'm hoping some of you can shed some light on this subject. I’m open to advice, thoughts, and inquiries. 

This is a little personal, talking about money.. My husband and I have been together for 9 years and he never seems to be satisfied with my choice of where I work, what jobs I look into, my career status, and my goals in pursuing a better career. He says I need an adult job. Sometimes he’d want to meet me down the road between our companies for lunch. My workplace at the time only allowed a 30 min. Limit lunch. He’d respond with, “You can have an hour or longer lunch period with a salary paying job, you know.”

I’ve never had an official salary-paying job.. just the usual hourly. I haven’t been in school for nearly 5 years, my background for educational-matters is at a stand-by with no degree, so sometimes I feel it would be a lot harder to achieve a big-girl job without those things....common sense.

My husband says you don’t always need a degree to get other jobs within certain categories. He says I can easily find a job that will teach me the skills on the spot. I feel they won’t have the time or money to train me in most offices. Anyway. Sorry for the long read..It’s been dragging on me. Let me try to break it down:


1.) We moved in together in 2014, finally. I quit my first 2-year-long job from a fast food franchise to make more money for our apartment.


2.) Kept job-hopping every 6 months for a 30 cent increase to my part of the income. (To me this personally looks bad on a resume/for reference)


3.) Any wage offered lower than my new set standard? Forget it.


4.) Married. Finally stuck with a job for nearly three years, earned bonuses, used PTO, earned three raises, worked OT for 3 weeks straight (one Friday was 16 hours), was promoted twice...husband kept asking me to get another raise before I quit my job because I wasn’t happy there anymore personally (hostile environment, micro-management, etc.)


5.) Husband has told me I’m too sentimental for people (coworkers and management) and that holds me back from usually quitting which doesn’t allow me to advance in other fantastic opportunities. Says corporates and higher-ups don’t care if you quit, they just hire someone new instantly anyway. Depending on the workplace and my relationship with a team, I hate to leave people hanging with short notice. It feels sudden and rude—especially to busy, small, staff numbers.


6.) Late 2017. We’ve moved to a major city for Husband’s new job. The minimum wage here I believe is $15.00. He Insists I find $20.00/Hr work, Full-Time. Says I need to demand it and mark it on applications. Got upset once when I asked for $16.00 hourly— a Supervisor position with a well-known retail company. Those discussions threw that job opportunity out the door even after a wonderful interview.


7.) Husband suggested some IT jobs to look into and start setting up multiple careers in that field. Suggests I look in surrounding cities and try not to work downtown because of traffic, crime rate, etc. Seems concerned everytime I’ve searched jobs near metro areas.


8.) Husband was disappointed that I’ve been looking into factory/warehouse work. Things felt tense and awkward last night when I fessed’ I have an interview. I got emotional because we need some sort of money even if it’s not ideal.


9.) Has stated, “Well, as long as it’s not a permanent thing,” with newly recent interviews and pushed this a lot in the beginning of my 3-Year-Span workplace before I just flat out ignored that annoyance.


10.) Bonus: Although I feel this is all bark and no bite, I’ve heard, “Go into their office tomorrow demanding a dollar raise or you’ll quit right on the spot. Easy. They need you more than you need them and they won’t let you go (<-I object this and won’t play Russian Roulette with my boss at work.).”

I haven’t worked in 4 months and I’m starting to stress out, financially...

I try to keep an open mind and see where he’s coming from. He says he just wants the best for me and that I have so much potential...that if I really put myself to it I can find an adult job. But because I seek employment all around just to suffice, I’ve been wasting time and have lost over 20 big job opportunities. I agree I would never want to work low-paying jobs again or food service but I told him I look into the IT jobs everyday, read articles, spruce up my resume and cover letters every. damn. day. I try. I don’t understand. He really is a great husband and I’m sorry if this is coming off bad but sometimes I don’t know how to make him happy. I got emotional last night because of all of it. :crying:
I don’t know what to do about my work situation in my marriage.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Your H is a micro-manager concerning your jobs and probably everything else. Did you H marry you for a check that you would bring home every week? If so, you need to re-evaluate the marriage. Other than that, your H idea of supporting your career choices sucks. That simple. Your H should support whatever job you may land. If you are not content with the job your H should support the move to something else. Not dictate it. 

Other than that, work where it makes you happy.


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## MidnightBlue (Nov 20, 2017)

What is an “adult job”? Does he mean more career type jobs? Benefits and all that? 

I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt since you said he’s a great husband because from my standpoint, he seems a little pushy and snobbish. I know my husband can get pretty gung ho about a subject and comes across as pushy and aggressive when, in reality, he’s passionate about it and wants me to see his point. 

Are you interested in an IT job? If so, continue to look into it and apply to all companies you can. You can even apply to ones that aren’t currently hiring. They will eventually hire and you want your resume in first. If not, you need to FIRMLY tell him to back off of the subject and then refuse to engage him further on it. 

In the meantime, find a job. You can upgrade later, if need be, but some pay is better than no pay and a currently employed applicant looks better than a long term unemployed one.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

Yeswecan said:


> Your H is a micro-manager concerning your jobs and probably everything else. Did you H marry you for a check that you would bring home every week? If so, you need to re-evaluate the marriage. Other than that, your H idea of supporting your career choices sucks. That simple. Your H should support whatever job you may land. If you are not content with the job your H should support the move to something else. Not dictate it.
> 
> Other than that, work where it makes you happy.


Sorry, I hope I'm replying correctly to this. It's been YEARS since I've used a discussion-forum. :angel3:
But thank you for the response!

Hmm, I'm trying to reflect some things. Last night we've had three discussions about the warehouse-facility I feel would be a great fit for me. My 3-yr. job that I quit before we moved away was a warehouse and not to toot my own horn, I was great at it. It was a very laborious job. I worked in -11 degree weather outside for 2 hours once and my no-chains, 2X, box truck got stuck in NW Snowmegeddon 17' twice that day so it was hard work. My 5'3" 125Lb body was promoted the Assistant Manager and I ran circles around 10 men that came and went that weren't happy there...even if I wasn't happy either for my last year there. My experience and qualifications stuns industrial higher-ups. But basically that's a bit of my background and since I've quit my H says I should focus more on my brain than my physicality for workloads. 

I was really happy and determined to become a supervisor for that warehouse when I first started out as a Material Handler. I seriously was happy at that time. My H however still said the usual comments, nitpicking I leave. My MIL one time told him to butt-out and let me be happy with my job at a family gathering. He got fussy, as he always does when his parents tell him what's up.

I'm just confused because the first time I told him about the new interview yesterday, he texted me saying "Do what makes you happy, love. <3" But then I get a little talkin'-to twice about my priorities when he gets home. :|

This is hard for me to explain to anyone sometimes because I don't want family and friends to think H is a jerk or an ass because he truly does do some wonderful things for me outside of our work-complications. I love the random snacks he brings me without asking for food when I'm hanging out watching TV or the little back-scratches at night when I can't sleep. He does go out of his way sometimes.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

MidnightBlue said:


> What is an “adult job”? Does he mean more career type jobs? Benefits and all that?
> 
> I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt since you said he’s a great husband because from my standpoint, he seems a little pushy and snobbish. I know my husband can get pretty gung ho about a subject and comes across as pushy and aggressive when, in reality, he’s passionate about it and wants me to see his point.
> 
> ...


Honestly, I've never understood the whole "Adult Job" term either. It's almost offensive personally because I think every job is a grown-up, responsible thing to do and at least it's a job, right? It's been such an over-used term in my household that if I even hear it used from strangers on the street, someone on FB say they've graduated and upgraded to an "Adult Job", or some YouTube personality say it-- I just cringe with resentment.

I think he's very passionate about it. See, my husband doesn't have a degree but has managed to teach and train himself alone in the last 5 years Software Developing, Coding, Testing, Computer Languages, Quality Assurance, all that jazz. He's made professional connections that have taught him even more when they hired on for his first IT job in our last-lived ever-growing city. He's just extremely passionate that everyone can push themselves further in the workforce if they try. To be honest, my brain just doesn't always work that way. I can say for a fact that I am definitely not book-smart and he's far more intelligent than I am.. and that's a problem for us because from what he says, "You just give up and settle." I don't even know where to begin with IT! I've been looking into some resources but again, it takes me multiple times reading information for it to process. I am interested in a lot more of the artistic side of technology, naturally; yet I lack the skills for a graphic designer or UX/UI Designer. That's the thing I've been looking into the most. My artwork is old fashioned and on paper or canvas, not the computer. But I'm sure it's something I'd be good at. My husband telling me last night that "because I've settled for another warehouse job and wasted my unemployment time when I could be learning UX and I'll never get back to it because another laborious job will leave me too exhausted to learn--and that I have displayed continuous patterns of this before", has truly ignited some angry-motivation in me to show him up. I will work and learn both if I have to. :corkysm60:


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## MidnightBlue (Nov 20, 2017)

Tell him that you are NOT interested in IT, are NOT going to work in IT, and WON’T be sucked into another conversation about it. Every time he brings us up, become suddenly deaf and mute. Don’t argue with him about it; if he’s the gung ho type, he’ll just see your protests as debate fodder. 

Not everyone is cut out for a desk job.


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

Your husband seems to expect for you to be like him, going out and actively seeking new skills and pulling himself up. It’s not a bad thing, he is trying to motivate you but his delivery is horrible. He ought to motivate you just as you ought to motivate him. He needs to understand that you are not him. Given where you described you are at, you really ought to find your niche in the work force. If you like restaurant or retail work, work towards management if you can. Maybe try and go back to school, find a job that’ll pay for your education if possible. When I married my wife she wasn’t done with school, and I supported her to graduate. She stayed home to have babies for seven years, then started working only to find she didn’t like it and I supported her through grad school. She is now more educated than I am, yet makes 1/4 of what I do because she works doing what she loves, her internal motivation is not money, it doesn’t have to be because I assumed the role of provider, she works hard and makes a huge difference in lots of people’s lives but doesn’t get paid all that well for someone with her education but she loves it. She’s always thanked me for being a good provider and for allowing her to follow her passion, she knows how lucky she is to be able to live as she does. What I am getting at is to follow your passion. What do you like to do? What are the barriers of entry to getting to where you want to be? Will your husband accept being the breadwinner and you being the helper in the marriage, or does he expect you both earn equal or comparible salaries? Honestly, I expected my wife to earn comparably, but she in her own way made me feel proud of her and her accomplishments while taking the lead financially. We do very well, but I know men in my salary range whose wives make the same or more and they live very lavishly and sometimes I feel like we could have that, too. But, I remember that she is happy and does what she loves and it’s important work and that I have chosen to be the provider for her and the family and she helps. 
Sounds like you two need to figure this out for yourselves. Good luck. Whatever you do be the best at it, and go as far as you can in that field, that’s my suggestion, from a 40 year old son of immigrants who is a VP and partner of a professional firm who worked his way up from nothing.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

MidnightBlue said:


> Tell him that you are NOT interested in IT, are NOT going to work in IT, and WON’T be sucked into another conversation about it. Every time he brings us up, become suddenly deaf and mute. Don’t argue with him about it; if he’s the gung ho type, he’ll just see your protests as debate fodder.


I am not sure how to avoid or run circles around this sort of conversation. When he gets home it's the usual:
-I'm cooking and cleaning as I go. I greet him as he walks in the door.
-He takes a moment to set down his bags and coat. Leaves the room to go wash his face or relax. We don't talk much when he comes home immediately. If my husband comes in quietly or mumbles a hello, I'll respond but I'll wait till he's more relaxed and chipper for conversation. If he comes in giddy, yelling "Hey Baby!" and greets our cats lovingly, then it's a better day for talking.
-He'll linger around the kitchen for snacks or organizing the counter-space, asking how my day went. I'll respond with whatever BUT job-talk.
-Eventually he'll either ask at the counter or when we're sitting down to eat what jobs I've found for the day. I've skirted around my answers to not say too much. I respond with 3-4, some being technical, some just random (Ex: Banquet Hall Production Supervisor).
-Sometimes the conversation digs deeper. Sometimes he just silently nods his head and pries further. Sometimes I get vague answers when I try to talk about him. Sometimes he just mentions his day after that whether glum or giddy so it really all depends.

I'm just really unsure of how to avoid this conversation at such an intimate time of the day (dining and seeing each other the first time in over 9 hours).


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Find a job you like, and tell him to buzz off with his “career counseling”. I would find it extremely insulting that he thinks he knows what is best for YOU.

You are allowing his constant harping by continuing to have these discussions with him. From now on, simply refuse to talk about job hunting, wages, careers, etc. and only discuss how your day went, once you’re back to work.


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## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

One of my daughters has been waitressing for a year - low pay and no benefits. She is a college grad, incredible writer, super creative, fluent in a second language. She just recently took what you would consider an adult job. Full time, living wage, using her education, full benefits. Office environment. The child is miserable. She is going to go back to waitressing. She loves the interaction with the people and she is good at it. Not sure how she is going to pay rent, but that's another thread.

The point is this: what your husband is considering a good job (an adult job), is not necessarily a good job for you. "The best" that he says he wants for you is HIS perception of what is good for you, not yours. Unfortunately, I think you have to evaluate whether he wants to be with you for your income potential or to share your life and watch you thrive by your own definition of the word.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your husband has suggested an IT job? What training/education do you have in IT?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

MidnightBlue said:


> Tell him that you are NOT interested in IT, are NOT going to work in IT, and WON’T be sucked into another conversation about it. Every time he brings us up, become suddenly deaf and mute. Don’t argue with him about it; if he’s the gung ho type, he’ll just see your protests as debate fodder.
> 
> Not everyone is cut out for a desk job.


Unless you can paint the Mona Lisa with Macpaint most IT jobs require a degree, and a lot of UX/UI jobs require more. 

Invest in yourself first then find a 'big girl' job. I run the UX lab in my company and most of the staff is engineer or designer types.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Maybe what your husband is trying to convey is he would prefer to have a partner that is more on his level in what they bring to the table in terms of self-motivation/career choices/earning potential. He may have married the wrong woman for that.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

90s SongBird said:


> Sorry, I hope I'm replying correctly to this. It's been YEARS since I've used a discussion-forum. :angel3:
> But thank you for the response!
> 
> Hmm, I'm trying to reflect some things. Last night we've had three discussions about the warehouse-facility I feel would be a great fit for me. My 3-yr. job that I quit before we moved away was a warehouse and not to toot my own horn, I was great at it. It was a very laborious job. I worked in -11 degree weather outside for 2 hours once and my no-chains, 2X, box truck got stuck in NW Snowmegeddon 17' twice that day so it was hard work. My 5'3" 125Lb body was promoted the Assistant Manager and I ran circles around 10 men that came and went that weren't happy there...even if I wasn't happy either for my last year there. My experience and qualifications stuns industrial higher-ups. But basically that's a bit of my background and since I've quit my H says I should focus more on my brain than my physicality for workloads.
> ...


Let me let you in on a little secret. I was much more happy as a ditch digger jockeying for my six pack and full tank of gas pay than I ever was working in management making gobs of cash. And it is true, if you love the job you have, you will never work a day in your life. 

Select the job that suits you and not your H. After all, you are the one needing to report to that job daily.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Your husband has suggested an IT job? What training/education do you have in IT?


Yeah, IT. No one is doing that.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

happy as a clam said:


> Find a job you like, and tell him to buzz off with his “career counseling”. I would find it extremely insulting that he thinks he knows what is best for YOU.


I have been insulted by this but I truly do wonder if he is trying to mean well. Maybe as another user has stated, he would love to see me improve BUT doesn't know how to deliver that sort of guidance and support.

Before we moved to this major city, 7-8 hours away over state borders from all of our friends and family so we're alone, we sat together to come up with a budget after we sold our first house. Maybe we didn't think it through correctly or conduct enough research for the COL/Wages here. Our apartment's rent has made people choke up at the expense... :/
I've even sat outside on my balcony once and overheard a woman walking by, peering up at the building, that she would have to be living off eating ramen in order to live here.
My grandfather has this funny saying for family members with "exquisite" desires: You're just living on a beer-can budget with champagne-fantasies.
I think it's one of the most eye-opening statements I've ever heard him say towards other people (not me) but I've definitely applied it to my husband once or twice in an argument over costly things.

So basically I think as we improve and adjust to these living situations, the demand for a higher income comes to play each and every time; which is nearly impossible with my background. This has been our third move since living together on top of other budget categories (i.e. food, utilites, entertainment, etc.)


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Am I correct that you don't have a job now? I suggest you get a job first and then see if he lays off. Without a job it's really easy for him to criticize you and you really have no recourse. You being unemployed probably just amplifies his fears right now. Find something steady that you can at least live with for now.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> Your husband has suggested an IT job? What training/education do you have in IT?


Absolutely 0.  :scratchhead:

I mean, I think that's a foretell sign if I was hoping I clicked the correct reply button to the first response on this thread :laugh:
I basically have not seen or worked with any coding since 2009 when Myspace died and profile-page-layouts became obsolete for social media. I'm impressed with the simple familiarity of [] & [/] when replying to you guys!
I'm 26 and have a better time opening apps on a smartphone than sitting at a desktop/laptop computer anymore--which to me is kinda embarrassing, sure.

As I've said though, I'm willing to try and learn.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

Bananapeel said:


> Maybe what your husband is trying to convey is he would prefer to have a partner that is more on his level in what they bring to the table in terms of self-motivation/career choices/earning potential. He may have married the wrong woman for that.


Well I surely hope not. We have been together since 2009, 17 Years Old and a HS couple.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

> Unless you can paint the Mona Lisa with Macpaint most IT jobs require a degree, and a lot of UX/UI jobs require more.
> 
> Invest in yourself first then find a 'big girl' job. I run the UX lab in my company and most of the staff is engineer or designer types.


Well dang. I think I got some mean talent with MS Paint. :lmao:
In all seriousness though, thank you for the advice and hope all goes well with your team. Sounds incredible.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

Maybe it’s me who’s being immature about improving my education and profession... I’ve always had people barking up my tree to get a degree, whether it was my parents, one of my best friends, or my husband. Sometimes it’s annoying but maybe I’m really not seeing this right...
Timing and money never seems to be right and there’s the pressure of aging when you see people moving on before the age of 25.


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## 90s SongBird (Jan 4, 2018)

sokillme said:


> Am I correct that you don't have a job now? I suggest you get a job first and then see if he lays off. Without a job it's really easy for him to criticize you and you really have no recourse. You being unemployed probably just amplifies his fears right now. Find something steady that you can at least live with for now.


Yeah I kinda prompted him with something like that when he seemed disappointed I was shooting for a job, if anything A JOB, outside his field. I can’t afford to be unemployed anymore and I’m simply going mad from it. I’ve told him once I get a job I will aim for continuous improvement in the job field (yet I’m still reluctant to just keep quitting on my way up)


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## Parttimehippie (Dec 23, 2017)

90s SongBird said:


> Maybe it’s me who’s being immature about improving my education and profession... I’ve always had people barking up my tree to get a degree, whether it was my parents, one of my best friends, or my husband. Sometimes it’s annoying but maybe I’m really not seeing this right...
> Timing and money never seems to be right and there’s the pressure of aging when you see people moving on before the age of 25.


A college degree will do you absolutely no good unless it's something you love AND will prepare you for an in-demand field. I attended college for the first time at age 30 and met many returning students whose degrees took them nowhere in life. IT is a very good field, but if it doesn't excite you, you won't thrive. 
I also saw that you kicked butt in a physical job. Have you ever considered trade school? Working with your hands can very rewarding! I always see jobs for welders, electricians, and heavy equipment operators. Sometimes you need something that challenges both mind and body.
You are young with lots of time to figure it out. Plus, a variety of jobs gives you a variety of experience! 
While you're searching, tell your husband to bug off (as nicely as you can of course!). Not everyone has a career in mind right out of high school. 
Good Luck!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Is it money that he is concerned about, or the feeling that you aren't living up to your potential?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

90s SongBird said:


> Absolutely 0.  :scratchhead:
> 
> I mean, I think that's a foretell sign if I was hoping I clicked the correct reply button to the first response on this thread :laugh:
> I basically have not seen or worked with any coding since 2009 when Myspace died and profile-page-layouts became obsolete for social media. I'm impressed with the simple familiarity of [] & [/] when replying to you guys!
> ...


I'm a software engineer. I can tell you that IT is about a lot more than Myspace profile page layouts... A LOT MORE.

What does your husband do for a living that he thinks you are anywhere near qualified for any kind of IT job? I'm asking because this does not seem rational at all.

Does he put you down for other things not related to your work?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

90s SongBird said:


> Yeah I kinda prompted him with something like that when he seemed disappointed I was shooting for a job, if anything A JOB, outside his field. I can’t afford to be unemployed anymore and I’m simply going mad from it. I’ve told him once I get a job I will aim for continuous improvement in the job field (yet I’m still reluctant to just keep quitting on my way up)


Future employers will look at how long you have been on your previous jobs. When we interviewed job candidates, we would not even consider someone who jumps around a lot. If they are going to jump ship right after learning the job, we wasted our money training them.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Future employers will look at how long you have been on your previous jobs. When we interviewed job candidates, we would not even consider someone who jumps around a lot. If they are going to jump ship right after learning the job, we wasted our money training them.


Yep. Exactly! I won't even bother with someone that isn't capable of staying in 1 place for more than 2 years. For me, it's a red flag of other potential issues such as unable to get along with people, incompetent, hard to please, etc.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

90s SongBird said:


> Well I surely hope not. We have been together since 2009, 17 Years Old and a HS couple.


People's needs and desires change a lot as they age. What he valued when you were 17 might be different than what he values now and they will be different than what he values 10 years from now. You two have the option of growing together or growing apart and it's up to you two as a couple to decide what it is that you want. People in their teens are usually focused mostly on finding someone that is sexually available and attractive. Now that you are in your mid-20's he might be thinking about a person that could provide more financially towards a family and other grown-up expenses, but you'd have to talk with him to figure this out. I'd bet that if he was currently single and met someone like you at your current age/career/education level that he wouldn't be interested in dating them and would prefer someone that is closer to him professionally/educationally. It sounds like he isn't the best communicator but has good intentions so you should have a heart to heart with him and see what it is he wants and whether you two can reach a mutually satisfying compromise.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

@90s SongBird, my personal opinion is that your husband needs to back the hell off. If he has a great job with great pay that he's happy with and enjoys going to, then that's fantastic, and he should concentrate on that. Encouragement is a really good thing to give a spouse, but he seems to be taking it to the extreme if you're getting emotional over telling him you have an interview. Having an interview is a great accomplishment, especially in this day and age!

So, your husband wants you to find work that pleases him, but he puts limits on where you can look for that work. Where I live, the higher paying jobs are naturally downtown. In my opinion, here's what you need to do: take control of your own career decisions. Find yourself a job that you enjoy going to, even if the pay isn't idea. If you enjoy the work, you'll be inclined to keep going and working hard to work yourself up the ladder. Even if it's a job in the service industry. Hell, I know a man my sister went to school with who started working at McDonalds as a teenager. He's now 48 and runs more than 1 McDonalds restaurant. He gets a great wage, loads of time off and has work-life balance. This can be done, even if it's not a fancy office job.

No one, not even your husband has the right to tell you how you should be living your life and making decisions on your career. You need to take that control back. You could say something like, "Husband's name, I really appreciate that you're so concerned about my well-being and finding a job that's suitable to me, but I feel like I need to make this decision on my own, so please back off and give me the space to do so."


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Seems to me that your husband expected his wife to be earning a certain amount because he expected his life to be a certain way. YOu have not lived up to his expectations. He had a vision of where he should be living and what his lifestyle would be. YOU have fallen short o f his vision because of your earning potential.

He wanted an educated wife with the fancy office job. Not the warehouse worker. Thats is why he is not supporting you on this new job search.

I know for a fact that our UPS man makes 6 figures because he asked me to look over 401k plan investment for him and I saw what he makes. So, working warehouse can make a very good living. I know people who repair ac's who make 6 figures. So, maybe you should look into a skill training program and go from there.

Not everyone is suited or want an office job. Your husband needs to realize that. 

I wish you luck in finding yourself and what you want to do. Only you can make you happy and fulfilled. Most people don't get to do what they love. They work because they have to. Money earned is money earned.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Do you guys make enough money for you to go and get a degree in something? See how he feels about your 'adult' job when you tell him you want to go to school to get that job.

I cant fully blame him though. My wife has huge potential and is 'too nice' to charge her clients what she should. Shes charging 50% less than anyone else in the field and is about 150% better with her final results. She has so many people coming to her that she is stressing about finding enough time.... She is under valuing herself. Could your husband feel you are doing the same?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

tropicalbeachiwish said:


> Yep. Exactly! I won't even bother with someone that isn't capable of staying in 1 place for more than 2 years. For me, it's a red flag of other potential issues such as unable to get along with people, incompetent, hard to please, etc.


Not if you work contract IT...


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## cma62 (Jul 31, 2010)

Sounds like your husband wants you to keep up with him regarding salary and career choices.

You need to have confidence in your own convictions and remind him your are his wife....not his child.

You are obviously a valuable employee to be offered a step up from your starting position.

Do the job that makes you happy and fulfilled......not just to keep him from grumbling.

Sounds like your H has had union jobs all his life by him telling you to go into interviews and demand such and such.....just doesn’t go over well in most workplaces.


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