# Successful 180 - looking for other experiences



## Finconsult079526 (Sep 26, 2011)

Last night I spoke with my spouse. She moved out a month ago. We were discussing a conversation I had with her mom (a very good one) and one she had (didn't go well). When I made an observation about her relationship with her mom and past conversations that didn't go well she flipped out and told me "DONT TELL ME HOW TO TALK TO MY MOM!" I was calm, asked her if she was done, and we ended the call. I was pissed!! I texted my IC and said I felt like telling her not to call me until she apologized. About 30 mins. later she sent me 2 txt apologizing. I did not reply. This morning she called me and apologized again. I told her I hadn't even thought about it. I did so convincingly. She kept apologizing. 

I have decided to keep up with the 180. I do not call her or txt. When she calls I never answer right away. Same with texts. 

Does anyone else have some positive 180 outcomes that they wish to share. I'd like to refine it so I told come off as uncaring just that I am happy go lucky and moving on with my life without her. I would really appreciate any input.


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Nicely done!

Yeah, I've experienced many positives from 180. Of course, I had ignore almost 2 weeks of nasty texts and emails before she finally said, "sorry, guess I misunderstood".

Now she texts me friendly stuff regularly, some of which I respond to. She also has vaguely invited me to do things lately, "I heard they still have tickets for X...". Me: "Yeah? Are you gonna go?". 

And the "friendly" texts keep coming. No matter the outcome, beats the heck out of arguing and anger. Hard to stand back and wait while doing what you're doing, but when that bit of respect comes your way it's worth it.

The calm indifference is a powerful thing. Keep it up, and good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Finconsult079526 (Sep 26, 2011)

How long were you seperated???


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

We've been separated for 5 1/2 weeks now...after finding the mother lode of evidence that she'd been lying to my face for weeks about suspicions I had, I left without a word, leaving a note, some of the proof and divorce papers on the table. Went dark for two weeks...really pi**ed her off, esp after I exposed it to OMW. Ignored tons of hateful texts, etc and finally replied to a few that were more calm. Been totally 180 with her and now she's softening up...though still can't face the situation and talk about what she did. Either way, I know she respects me 1000% more than she did in recent months, for grabbing my b*lls from her purse and running the show MY way. I have 1000% more respect for myself as well.

Still sucks though, but 180 has made me stronger, and clearly is doing the same for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Finconsult079526 said:


> Does anyone else have some positive 180 outcomes that they wish to share. I'd like to refine it so I told come off as uncaring just that I am happy go lucky and moving on with my life without her. I would really appreciate any input.


It is not uncaring to let her go her own way and move on with your life. You are being respectful of her decision. Among other things, the 180 keeps you from making things worse since it is not at all clear whether anything you do will work for or against your goals. 

Although it worked for me, there are no guarantees. The less contact, the better. I wouldn't answer at all unless is concerns money or children


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I did the 180 and it was both successful and a failure. Sucessful in the I put myself in a better position, however major fail for trying to show the bastid that I was ready to move on,so he better come back and get me before I go. It reads like your W, might be at your door with a trench coat and a rose between her teeth ;o) Good luck to you.


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

At first I found the 180 being so right for me , I was so angry at that time too , fighting with my feelings , having to deal with all the BS I was left with . Its been over 2 months now since my stbxw left and as the time is passing by I am starting to see myself for who I am ,and I know that not all of the tips in 180 are for me , but the once that are , are working wonders I tell you , at the begining of separation everytime my stbxw would text me ( usually nasty and rude texts) I would jump right in and start arguing and fighting with her and at the end of each "conversation" there was nothing ,like really no point made by her or me , so as I am "growing up" and starting to accept the sitiuation with more poise I learned how to talk to her , 75% of the time she starts her conversations with me by demanding , asking if I took her stuff , calling me names if she doesnt hear from me what she would want etc... but thats all good because then I am in control not her :smthumbup: and then I just stop texting back even though she keeps on pumping those texts like a retard , after a while she stops , then an hour later or so I usually get a nicer message for example "can you pick up your son from school tomorrow ?" 
So that aspect of 180 has helped me to control myself and bite my tong when I have to instead of showing my frustrations , saying that I am starting to get used to it and honestly it makes my self confidence sore higher and higher with every little batle I win :smthumbup:
Life goes on !!!


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