# Too much TAM?



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

My wife just SMSed me wondering what I was doing and I'm at home typing sh-t on TAM lol

She told me that I spend too much time on here but pffft, whatever. What you think? I'm thankful at least that she's no longer coming on and reading my threads (she knows she'll have a hell to deal with if she ever does - she'll lose the trust she busted her ass for years to establish)

Personally it's my venting/advice zone. I don't like to get my mates in RL involved as it causes problems as my wife and I's social circle is united (we don't befriend anyone that one of us has a problem with). But I spend too much time on here? Bah!


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Considering I've here a much shorter time than you, and 2x plus as many posts  ............I'd say you're ok!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

I don't know, how much time do you spend on here? Personally, I'd like to stop, but I fricken can't! I log on during the week, and usually keep it running in the background, just for something to do. I need a(nother) new hobby...


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> I don't know, how much time do you spend on here? Personally, I'd like to stop, but I fricken can't! I log on during the week, and usually keep it running in the background, just for something to do. I need a(nother) new hobby...


:iagree: I feel the same way.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

I agree with RD, tho, a good place to get it all out and vent. There are a lot of things I'd never talk about with a friend, especially the sex stuff. Plus I love a good debate every now and then.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

All of us that post on TAM emotionaly invest in our posts and ideas. It is easy for it to begin to take too much of our available emotional energy. If it is to the point where your spouse notices it, then perhaps it is too much. 

I made a jest a long time ago about having an EA with TAM. Now I see that it could really be the case... Even though I am an infrequent poster, I think I spend too much time on it at times.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

yeah my W said something similar, I had lurked for couple of years starting in 2007/2008, didn't join till 2010 and I have to say TAM helped me D my ex in 2008. I told my current W that because of TAM I was able to selectively choose a great W.....that eased her a little bit :smthumbup:

one day soon i will tell my story, it is definitely one for the books.....i'm in a very good place now and TAM had a lot to do with that.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

I've certainly learned a lot from all of you!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I can give up TAM whenever I wish

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

It ebbs and flows with me. Sometimes I'm here a lot, and then I'll just drop off.

Honestly it becomes too much TAM for me when I just can't take the misery, and overall pessimistic view of marriage, that a lot of this board adopts. It begins to leak into my own happy marriage sometimes, and I begin wondering if there is truly something wrong with us. I got into a deep discussion with my wife last night based off a topic posted here, and she runs to my sister and says "that blog is going to destroy our marriage!" :rofl:.

For my own sanity, sometimes I've got to step off TAM!


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Ask your wife if you've been a better husband since coming on here than before? 

If she says yes.....Well then there you go.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My husband isn't thrilled that I'm on here a lot either. He acknowledges that I'm a better wife because of it however I need to be doing other things besides wasting so much time here. 

My marriage is fixed so TAM serves no purpose for me. I'm just addicted. LOL


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> My marriage is fixed so TAM serves no purpose for me. I'm just addicted. LOL


See, that was news to me when I first came here. I found TAM by looking up something to do with sex in marriage, not a problem, but some views. I've always loved discussing marriage, relationships, love, sex, the whole nine yards, so I thought I'd hit the jackpot.

It wasn't until I was here for a bit that I realized most people come to this forum because they have troubled marriages. Silly me took the name "talk about marriage" a bit to literally, and assumed many others were here because they just loved discussing the institution of marriage, and all the many intricacies contained therein. 

I soon got the message when I noticed that the few threads I posted about asking people to talk about what they love about their spouses, and marriage, produced little more than crickets before dropping like stones. :rofl:


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

I suspect that TAM just might be a little addiction for me. 
But my goodness, how it has helped.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

jaquen said:


> See, that was news to me when I first came here. I found TAM by looking up something to do with sex in marriage, not a problem, but some views. I've always loved discussing marriage, relationships, love, sex, the whole nine yards, so I thought I'd hit the jackpot.
> 
> It wasn't until I was here for a bit that I realized most people come to this forum because they have troubled marriages. Silly me took the name "talk about marriage" a bit to literally, and assumed many others were here because they just loved discussing the institution of marriage, and all the many intricacies contained therein.
> 
> I soon got the message when I noticed that the few threads I posted about asking people to talk about what they love about their spouses, and marriage, produced little more than crickets before dropping like stones. :rofl:


I had this same experience. I initially thought this place was for talking about our experiences and how to maintain good marriages thought the years, and thought maybe I could learn some things.

And then I got sucked into everyone's problems. 

I still learn a lot, but I'm wondering if there's a forum out there that's more about keeping good marriages going.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

norajane said:


> I had this same experience. I initially thought this place was for talking about our experiences and how to maintain good marriages thought the years, and thought maybe I could learn some things.
> 
> And then I got sucked into everyone's problems.
> 
> I still learn a lot, but I'm wondering if there's a forum out there that's more about keeping good marriages going.


I've only been here a short while, was thinking about 20th coming up. On 2 occasions I've almost created problems that we didn't have.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

My husband is not so thrilled that I am on here, but I feel like it's helped me and us. We've been struggling, but it's been getting better. I know he just doesn't like our issues out in the public, but I feel like it's better done here, anonymously, than me talking to someone else about it. If I had kept it all just to myself, I would have gone crazy.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

i do my best to turn everything off in the evening.tv,computer,and phone. 
sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.but i try


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I'm addicted too, we are all hopeless and lost .. OK, here is the deal, I recall hearing if you do something consistently for 17 days straight....go on a TAM diet...and throw yourself into something else for 17 long days...that it becomes a *new habit*.

I have thought about trying this a # of times... but too Unmotivated to accually go through with it. 

I used to watch Tv alot during the day, soaps, movies, Dr Phil, Dr Oz.... then I was on a Talk radio kick... At one time I watched the news obsessively ...I go through these phases....I've always enjoyed various forums though during all of that...but this is by far my worst addiction to a silly forum. Nice to know we're not alone anyway.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Heh, wifey reckons I start thinking too much when I come on here. Erm no woman... this is where I VENT my problems lest she'll be coping with the lot and whatever comes to my head.

She says she prefers it when I speak my mind. Yeah right... if I'm confident she can handle it sure, but no. We have improved alot however since TAM, despite a number of serious dramas (which HAD to happen for things to get better).

She should leave me alone lol


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## TroubledSexLife (Aug 23, 2012)

You can never have too much TAM.


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## dixieangel (Jun 28, 2012)

I came here to get some validation for my feelings about an issue causing me a lot of pain that I can't just talk to anyone about. I got that validation. Needless to say, my husband is angry and says it is a waste of time for me and is "adding fuel to your fire" and that people here are miserable and advice is being given by people who shouldn't be giving it. 

I enjoy reading the threads..and it is a little escape for me.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

And let's face it...who amongst us hasn't read a few crazy or awful threads and been grateful for their own H/W?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I'm addicted too, we are all hopeless and lost .. OK, here is the deal, I recall hearing if you do something consistently for 17 days straight....go on a TAM diet...and throw yourself into something else for 17 long days...that it becomes a *new habit*.
> 
> I have thought about trying this a # of times... but too Unmotivated to accually go through with it.


Just before I went to sleep last night I made a pact with myself... no TAM this morning... 

However, I made my coffee.. kids still weren't up, so I sat in silence, drinking my coffee, thinking... Then I noticed my phone... so I picked it up, read the news on it.. checked out some princess stuff on eBay for my little girl.. and the kids still weren't up . Sooooo.. I clicked on the TAM... So much for 17 days.. couldn't make it 17 hours


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> My wife just SMSed me wondering what I was doing and I'm at home typing sh-t on TAM lol
> 
> She told me that I spend too much time on here but pffft, whatever. What you think? I'm thankful at least that she's no longer coming on and reading my threads (she knows she'll have a hell to deal with if she ever does - she'll lose the trust she busted her ass for years to establish)
> 
> Personally it's my venting/advice zone. I don't like to get my mates in RL involved as it causes problems as my wife and I's social circle is united (we don't befriend anyone that one of us has a problem with). But I spend too much time on here? Bah!


Too much time on here?? Not as much as you used to, I don't think. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Cherry said:


> Just before I went to sleep last night I made a pact with myself... no TAM this morning...
> 
> However, I made my coffee.. kids still weren't up, so I sat in silence, drinking my coffee, thinking... Then I noticed my phone... so I picked it up, read the news on it.. checked out some princess stuff on eBay for my little girl.. and the kids still weren't up . Sooooo.. I clicked on the TAM... So much for 17 days.. couldn't make it 17 hours


The longest I've made it so far is a few days. The only way I ever got off TAM for any length of time was last summer when I had my husband block me from this site with a PASSWORD that only he knew.

That worked until I had him put me back on after 6 months. Within no time I was back hooked again. I'd have him block me again if he wasn't about to leave for 11 weeks.


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## TopazGal (Sep 9, 2012)

ha i have only been on a couple of days and love it......I have learned a lot already that I needed to learn.....


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

you should try freebasing TAM, it's so intense


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I meant to post this in this thread yesterday but somehow I posted in the wrong thread-

before and after shot of TAM users
https://www.google.com/search?q=bef...eEoTg0QH8z4CYBg&ved=0CCgQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=625


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> And let's face it...who amongst us hasn't read a few crazy or awful threads and been grateful for their own H/W?


TAM _constantly_ reminds to be grateful for my wife, and what we have. I mean I already stayed in a place of gratitude for her, but TAM definitely inspires me to embrace that gratitude more regularly.


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## WalkingInLight (Aug 14, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> My wife just SMSed me wondering what I was doing and I'm at home typing sh-t on TAM lol
> 
> She told me that I spend too much time on here but pffft, whatever. What you think? I'm thankful at least that she's no longer coming on and reading my threads (she knows she'll have a hell to deal with if she ever does - she'll lose the trust she busted her ass for years to establish)
> 
> Personally it's my venting/advice zone. I don't like to get my mates in RL involved as it causes problems as my wife and I's social circle is united (we don't befriend anyone that one of us has a problem with). But I spend too much time on here? Bah!


TAM is a great place at the start when looking for help, but if you spend too much time on here, you can end up taking on other people's problems. Well, that's been my reality anyway.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well, hearing about sexless marriages does make me a bit more docile compared to the past...

"FFS woman, NO!"
*Rape*
"Help TAM! my wife is fking INSANE"


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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