# Alpha vs. Beta Male



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Here is an interesting summary of the difference between an alpha and beta male. I am not really a huge fan of these labels since most if not all men I would guess have some combination of the two. Thoughts, anything you would add to or subtract from the list.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
It appears they have defined alpha as "everything good" and beta as "everything bad". That doesn't seem to match the conventional definition dealing with competitiveness etc. 

I can't find a lot of good references, I suspect because the entire idea isn't taken that seriously by psychologists. 
there is a little at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory but it lists it as mostly discredited. 

I've seen some people as describing it as:
alpha: wants to win the game
beta: wants to enjoy the game.

You could try to say that Alphas lead and Betas follow - but would you describe politicians as alpha, and the soldiers that they send to die in war at betas? I think that fits the definition.

In any case, I don't think the concept applies well to humans.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I don't know where you got that but as a self identified Beta, It's not even close.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> I don't know where you got that but as a self identified Beta, It's not even close.


Someone posted it on my FB feed


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> It appears they have defined alpha as "everything good" and beta as "everything bad". That doesn't seem to match the conventional definition dealing with competitiveness etc.
> 
> I can't find a lot of good references, I suspect because the entire idea isn't taken that seriously by psychologists.
> ...


Agreed, I think that picture is posting the absolute extremes of alpha and beta, and as you mentioned basically drawing a line stating alpha is good and beta is bad.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

that is not what I consider the split. Beta =/= bad. Alpha =/= good. There are good and bad traits to both beta and alpha.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Both alpha and beta traits are needed in relationships, just at different times. Taking your spouse on a spontaneous date when they get home from work is very alpha, but cleaning up the dishes before they get home so they aren't stressed/rushed is beta. Both are good at the appropriate times.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Its more than just extremems.

It lists alphas as "cooperating with women" and betas as "competing with women". 

But by all the standard definitions, alphs are competitive, betas not.


Its just a collection of positive and negative traits, then applying labels that have an entirely different meaning.



EllisRedding said:


> Agreed, I think that picture is posting the absolute extremes of alpha and beta, and as you mentioned basically drawing a line stating alpha is good and beta is bad.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Bananapeel said:


> Both alpha and beta traits are needed in relationships, just at different times. Taking your spouse on a spontaneous date when they get home from work is very alpha, but cleaning up the dishes before they get home so they aren't stressed/rushed is beta. Both are good at the appropriate times.


Agreed, I think a balance is needed. Also, it will depend on the SO as to what balance is desirable. Some might want a person who is more heavily skewed towards Alpha, some might want someone more on the Beta side, and some might want someone who has a good balance. The problem with lists like this is it tries to fit these qualities into everyone regardless of their situation (aside from also making alpha = good and beta = bad)


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Interesting responses on the FB post ...


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
WE can also re-write this:

Alpha: Selfish. Demanding. Puts self before others. Jumps at opportunities. Sacrifices others to get personal power. Uses women.

Beta: Giving, helpful. Puts others before self. Loyal to friends and coworkers. Works for the common good. Loves women.


This is no more (or less) true than the original.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

More accurate headings would be Mature Alpha Male and Immature Alpha Male. 

It seems to be written by an alpha.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Actually I think the more appropriate terms would have been simple Mature Male vs Immature Male. Leave the alpha and the beta crap out of the equation and it starts to make sense. I know I was an immature man for many years, I am just now starting to mature as a 54 year old man.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> More accurate headings would be Mature Alpha Male and Immature Alpha Male.
> 
> It seems to be written by an alpha.


Or more likely written by someone who is desperate to prove to the world they are an alpha ...


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> Interesting responses on the FB post ...


Interesting how it's almost split along gender lines as to who likes this and who doesn't.

My favorite post--If you're claiming to be an Alpha, you're probably just a confused Beta.


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## Joey2k (Oct 3, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> *Interesting how it's almost split along gender lines as to who likes this and who doesn't.*
> 
> My favorite post--If you're claiming to be an Alpha, you're probably just a confused Beta.


I noticed that too. It makes me wonder if it's even possible to be liked and respected by both men and women. The qualities that women seem to be drawn to (coc ky, arrogant, pushy, aggressive) are qualities that will make most other men dislike you.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Joey2k said:


> I noticed that too. It makes me wonder if it's even possible to be liked and respected by both men and women. The qualities that women seem to be drawn to (coc ky, arrogant, pushy, aggressive) are qualities that will make most other men dislike you.


It felt to me that women in the facebook feed were reacting more toward the list of traits and accepting that those traits were "alpha" rather than "good". I don't find fault with them being attracted toward those particular traits, because they really are desirable traits. They're just being mislabeled in this post. I think the men posting were probably more familiar with the traditionally accepted views of what alpha/beta really mean and they were taking issue with the post based on that.

As far as can you be liked and respected by both men and women--yes. But liked and respected doesn't always = attraction.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

The list is flawed both in the set up of linking Alpha with mature and beta with immature. Beyond that the listed traits are one person's opinion and makes little sense to me.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

EllisRedding said:


> Here is an interesting summary of the difference between an alpha and beta male. I am not really a huge fan of these labels since most if not all men I would guess have some combination of the two. Thoughts, anything you would add to or subtract from the list.


That pic is hilarious.

Both of them.


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

Its watermarked with GoAskSuzie.com Checked it out, looks like another pathetic reconciliation and recovery industry website.

Front page tag lines "Recapture the love", "Don't let one mistake ruin everything", and "Their is a way to forgive the unforgivable". Apparently Suzie is the leading expert in infidelity recovery. Didn't even know about her until now.

Think I'll pass on her/their opinions.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Agreed with the others on this thread that those aren't traits of alpha or beta men, they are just positive traits on the left and negative traits on the right, with false labels on the top.

The list on the left is one that I would consider are traits of an "integrated man" (combining the alpha and beta traits together in the most generally successful way), the list on the right is that of a "disintegrated male" (trying to use his flawed understanding of beta and alpha traits in the most UNsuccessful ways). I think of an "integrated man" as one who has achieved a consistent level of self-actualization, to put it in other terms.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

alpha for humans is totally situational. 

the manager at the local diner is alpha in the diner. outside of the diner, he may or may not be.

captain of the high school football team is alpha. when he joins the college team he may or may not be.

hard to say there are any constant qualities other than you are the dominant guy in a particular social setting at a particular time.

beta is just everybody other than the dominant guy.


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