# Lost and Confused??



## Janet (Feb 14, 2009)

?


----------



## T-Dub (Feb 2, 2009)

Dealing with death is difficult. Perhaps he was not aware how serious the cancer was, was the family prepared for it, his family. You are part of his support group and he is pushing you away and your wonderfull baby. I am not helping much, but trying> this really sucks, i need to read your post several times.


----------



## Janet (Feb 14, 2009)

I am new to this site as well as this situation. I have been with my husband for 13 years and married 5 of those years. My story is long but to sum it up I truely have been there for my husband from day one, whatever he needed whether it was support, material things, you name it I managed to make it happen for him. We loved each other alot and had alot of fun. To jump to the present we had our first child in July, my husbands mother whom he was extremely close to died in Aug. 2008 pretty suddenly from cancer, the economy did a number on his business and money is tight (like everyone else). In Oct. of 2008 my husband had been hard to be around...no patients with the baby at all and just didn't appear happy.. he thought he needed to leave so he did and was back home in 2 days because he felt whatever he was going through he needed to be with his family. Well he has been up and down ALOT since then and at times verbally abusive to point where I just cry and wanted out. After many bad nights and at times him coming home in the middle of night I did print out divorce papers to scare him and realize that this has become no joke. He flipped out and it just got worse... he did not want a divorce so I said okay but nothing changed. I asked him if he wanted this marriage and he said he need time to deal with himself and wanted to leave again. Let me be clear that as months progressed he has adjusted to fatherhood and he is a good father and loves his child so much. Its actually the only time I see joy in his face. So he left but this time he has gotten an apartment, some furniture and his own checking account..all within the last 5 weeks. I am devasted. All of asudden I don't qualify?? The fights which I must say I contributed to have gotten so bad but he said that we could never come back from this. We had a good marriage and he agreed. He is devasted by his moms death but I thinks more then that and now I feel like I pushed him further away. My anger is intense. He left me with a small baby, a huge mortgage and a ton of debt...of course I'm mad. I work 2 full time jobs to try and save our house andn credit. Also, I offered to pay his bills for him when he gives me money because I don't want to see him fail. I know financially he will be responsible to pay me but it can't compare to the responsbility he left me with. but thats not what I care about. I want my family and I think he is not coming back but better yet if he did could I take him back? I do hope in time he regrets this decision. Its so sudden and I'm 99% sure its not another women. I'm actually pretty confident. He says he is scared of divorce but yet says he its just gotten so bad but of course its got bad..you just left. Thats pretty much my story...lots more details but that is the basic. Do you think he will regret this? Or realize and want to come back? I have since come to terms with the fact that he isn't coming back will never understand why..my family is lost and once our friends find out they will be just as lost. Can you relate or have any insight?


----------

