# Men, how soon do you go down on new partner?



## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I've been seeing a guy for a while (we are exclusive and just started having sex). Technically we've only done it once.

I may be borrowing trouble, but most of the other guys I've been with have given me oral very early, usually before we got around to intercourse. This one didn't, and I'm worrying that that might mean he's not into doing it (which would be a huge problem for me).

Yes, I'm just as into giving oral - I've just always had the guy do it first so that seems 'right' to me somehow. 

How early do you do this with new partners?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> I've been seeing a guy for a while (we are exclusive and just started having sex). Technically we've only done it once.
> 
> I may be borrowing trouble, but most of the other guys I've been with have given me oral very early, usually before we got around to intercourse. This one didn't, and I'm worrying that that might mean he's not into doing it (which would be a huge problem for me).
> 
> ...


Some won't do it. And some will not go out of their routine to please you. Nothing you can do to change it.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Some won't do it. And some will not go out of their routine to please you. Nothing you can do to change it.


Yes, I'm aware of that, but what I was asking was, for those who DO enjoy it, when in the relationship do you first go down? Before intercourse, after? Do you wait for her to do it first? Etc.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

My experience is that is usually happens before the deed. 

Yaaaaay!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

About 15 minutes

After the first hello

I'd have to say that my SO gets oral virtually every time we have sex. Maybe not to completion, but at least some. And it's been that way since even before our first time. I very clearly remember a makeout session in her SUV, when we drove each other crazy without letting anyone cum. That was almost 3 years ago. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I went down on my STBW about an hour into our second date, and less than 10 minutes before PIV. I would have loved to play longer, but she O'd really quickly and wanted me inside. Who was I to argue  I had gone down on her several times before she returned the favor.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Do ya'll think that the fact that he did not go down before we had PIV (after months of long distance build up and a long make-out session) is a sign that he doesn't like to do it?


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

On my first physical encounter...she loved it!


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## MicroStorm (Aug 10, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> Do ya'll think that the fact that he did not go down before we had PIV (after months of long distance build up and a long make-out session) is a sign that he doesn't like to do it?


Maybe, maybe not. Some guys just don't like doing this, just as some women don't like giving oral either. Maybe he's just shy and doesn't know how to approach the topic. You've only been sexual one time, so perhaps you're jumping the gun. Have you asked him about this? Have you blown him yet?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Ultimately, he is the only one who can answer this, so you really should ask him, and talk about it. Really, you should have talked about these kinds of things before you got into this position. Maybe not flat out asked him before, but there should have been conversations that would clue you in a bit on his attitudes towards sex. If you can let him put his penis inside you, surely you can talk about this?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> Yes, I'm aware of that, but what I was asking was, for those who DO enjoy it, when in the relationship do you first go down? Before intercourse, after? Do you wait for her to do it first? Etc.


Usually before. In a session I'm going to make sure she orgasms and it's usually oral.

I don't want to do it first all the time either, like to switch it up.

It feels good when your partner wants to rip your clothes off and ravish you in their mouth.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I realize some guys aren't into giving oral, and that's their perogative of course, but it would be a deal-breaker for me. After being with men who LOVE doing it and were damn good at it, I'm not willing to be in a relationship without that.

I've thought about just getting around the topic on the phone somehow. I wouldn't want us to waste each others' time if it turns out we're not sexually compatible.

I haven't gone down on him yet either, like I said I guess I'm used to the guy taking the lead at first.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> I realize some guys aren't into giving oral, and that's their perogative of course, but it would be a deal-breaker for me. After being with men who LOVE doing it and were damn good at it, I'm not willing to be in a relationship without that.
> 
> I've thought about just getting around the topic on the phone somehow. I wouldn't want us to waste each others' time if it turns out we're not sexually compatible.
> 
> I haven't gone down on him yet either, like I said I guess I'm used to the guy taking the lead at first.


I wouldn't go without it either if I were you. Sometimes just do like I said, show your hunger for him by stripping him down and taking him, or close to wake up time, it'll make him feel great and not like he always has to initiate.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I would say it's definitely not a good sign. Sorry bout your luck. :-(

But you could try sexting him, and see where he goes. So to speak...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Ultimately, he is the only one who can answer this, so you really should ask him, and talk about it. Really, you should have talked about these kinds of things before you got into this position. Maybe not flat out asked him before, but there should have been conversations that would clue you in a bit on his attitudes towards sex. If you can let him put his penis inside you, surely you can talk about this?


Honestly it NEVER OCCURRED to me that this might be an issue, I guess because I've never encountered it before, and this guy seemed very attracted to me and very HD/sexual.

Now I'm wishing we had talked more about sex earlier, but I wanted to wait to get to know him before going there. Any advice on how to approach the topic on the phone without making him feel weird? (Supposed to spend this coming weekend with him but will be talking tomorrow night).


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Is it possible his previous relationship partner prohibited oral and he has generalized that to you as well?

"Hey new boyfriend with whom I've already had sex. Question fer ya! What's your favorite part of oral sex play?"

"Well new girlfriend who is so goddamned hot my d,ck hasn't stopped thinking about ya, I love it when a woman teases me for hours."

"Oh silly boyfriend, I was talking about going down on a woman!"

"Euuuw, who does that?"

"Check please?"


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> My experience is that is usually happens before the deed.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


My experience also...its pretty much mandatory for me.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Me ... I would do that before PIV if she let me but when I was younger (teens, early 20's) that wouldn't have been the case. I was stupid, lol.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I wouldn't be too worried yet - I would wait and see what happens over this weekend. As you said, you didn't do oral on him either - maybe he's thinking the same thing right now. 

I only had one boyfriend who was into oral - and we never ended up having sex (we were both virgins still.) All the other men ive been with including my husband were not oral guys. In fact because that is all ive known I assume all men don't care for it.

I don't want to be single BUT if I did find myself dating ever again I would give a 3rd degree interrogation. In my 20's I was all - do you want kids someday? What do you plan to do with your life and are you finishing school? Now I would be like - before our meal gets here would you mind looking over this checklist of sexual acts and circle the ones you are definite no on. I would like to try your oral skills before we start dating per se. Just review my list of requests and tell me what you think.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

It certainly could be that he was blockaded from going down there by the previous SO. Or, he may be trying to put his best foot forward and not make you think he's too adventurous (i.e. doesn't want to scare you off by flying his freak flag).

I've been married a long time, but as I recall I normally did it along with first time sex at least long enough to warm the kitty up. At this point in my life oral being off the table either way (giving or receiving) would be a deal breaker with a new partner. I've thought about this a lot and if I was with a new partner who didn't give the first time we had sex I'd probably go for seconds on the next date. But if oral still didn't happen by the second time we had sex I'd have to break it off. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't absolutely love doing it. And I definitely don't want to be with someone who I have to nag for it.


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## Waits4Mr.Right (Oct 29, 2011)

:scratchhead:I've been wondering the very same thing. Been seeing this guy and we have had sex 3 times. He gets off obviously but I don't. I haven't orgasmed and we've never gone down town on each other neither. How do i get the ball rolling? We are also 24 years apart, i wonder if maybe in his day it was no big deal?


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> It certainly could be that he was blockaded from going down there by the previous SO. Or, he may be trying to put his best foot forward and not make you think he's too adventurous (i.e. doesn't want to scare you off by flying his freak flag).
> 
> I've been married a long time, but as I recall I normally did it along with first time sex at least long enough to warm the kitty up. At this point in my life oral being off the table either way (giving or receiving) would be a deal breaker with a new partner. I've thought about this a lot and if I was with a new partner who didn't give the first time we had sex I'd probably go for seconds on the next date. But if oral still didn't happen by the second time we had sex I'd have to break it off. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't absolutely love doing it. And I definitely don't want to be with someone who I have to nag for it.


I feel the same way- I guess that's why I assumed he, as the sexual aggressor in the relationship, would just go ahead and do it, without me having to ask or bring it up. 

If I have to negotiate for it or make him feel like he has to reciprocate because I do it for him, honestly my interest level is going to go way down.

We are both in our early forties and previously married so- definitely not a case of an intimidated inexperienced guy.

He did remark once that sexually we'd 'barely scratched the surface' which I thought was a good sign.

This weekend will be make or break.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I love this thread!!!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

The fact that it makes you feel awkward thinking of how to discuss it is something you should work on. Really, you have to be able to completely come right out and talk about something that important (to you) with no reservation. It should not bring fear up inside of you to have to talk about it.

I know that many people do have those types of fears when being faced with "difficult topics"...but sex should never be a "difficult topic" in a new relationship. It is still new! You need to verbally navigate your new surroundings with NO anxiety. This is *your* sex life, not some "private" taboo discussion about someone else.

So the next time you're on the phone with him (or just call him now) you talk about how you liked this, that and the other...and how you can't wait for some other fun things too like "oral for both of us"! If he jumps in with "yeah I can't wait, too!" you make SURE by saying "oh good...so you think you're pretty good at it, eh?" Then REALLY listen. He will tell you all you need to know. A confident attitude is obvious in this realm. A wavering of any kind is a total tell.

So if he's confident...no worries, I"m sure you'll get it good.

If he wavers...give him a chance anyway to test him out, but if it isn't there, you have to consider moving on.

Things that are deal breakers should not be hard to discuss for you, for you are your own agent in this, and you need to have no fear in brokering your own deal.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I'm with FW, it should not be a difficult discussion to have, if it is then that would concern me especially at your ages.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> The fact that it makes you feel awkward thinking of how to discuss it is something you should work on. Really, you have to be able to completely come right out and talk about something that important (to you) with no reservation. It should not bring fear up inside of you to have to talk about it.
> 
> I know that many people do have those types of fears when being faced with "difficult topics"...but sex should never be a "difficult topic" in a new relationship. It is still new! You need to verbally navigate your new surroundings with NO anxiety. This is *your* sex life, not some "private" taboo discussion about someone else.
> 
> ...


I would agree with this. Especially since you're doing a weekend away with him. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

When I was dating around, I hated going down on girls. I never would because I dated around, going through women = so it grossed me out. I wasn't putting my mouth in something that could possibly be infected or w/e the reasoning is. However, when I got into a long term relationship - I would start doing it for that girl and that's what differed her from the others, sexually. I wouldn't do it until I was ready to and finally - the buildup of her wanting it - it was like the minute I put my tongue there - O.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

FWIW, I was the same, wise. Neither gave nor received from any casual partner. Didn't want to. Reserved for top shelf only.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

When sex is in the picture the first thing I go for is the V



> FWIW, I was the same, wise. Neither gave nor received from any casual partner. Didn't want to. Reserved for top shelf only.


Some past NSAs were stinky/dirty too =/

There's the sweet aroma and then there's the foul... worse during periods! Bleh
I was still forced to go down on my wife during her times though... hell I hope she's changed since seperation/reconciliation


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Wise, I thought I was the only one who felt that way.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

My husbands story is that his college girlfriend was not very clean and demanded oral regularly. And there was something about crabs as well, I cant remember when that happened in their relationship.

I don't know, I certainly sympathize - but seriously. Why should I have to suffer for her poor hygeine. 

Ive never varified his story. I do know this woman, though, she gave him a good review as far as boyfriends go when we were newly dating. Every time I see her I just picture 70's porno bush and all that.

This is quite irrelevant to the topic at hand, I'm just putting off housework.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

pink_lady said:


> Do ya'll think that the fact that he did not go down before we had PIV (after months of long distance build up and a long make-out session) is a sign that he doesn't like to do it?



Yes, absolutely.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> The fact that it makes you feel awkward thinking of how to discuss it is something you should work on. Really, you have to be able to completely come right out and talk about something that important (to you) with no reservation. It should not bring fear up inside of you to have to talk about it.


:iagree:

I would have had a conversation about likes and dislikes before I had sex with someone.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Go for it! Go down town ASAP and worry about the fall out later (unintentional ugly pun). You'll find out quicker about likes and dislikes that way. Mind you, don't get pushy and all that, have some sensitivity to the body language.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Scarlett, that was the best post of the day.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> :scratchhead:I've been wondering the very same thing. Been seeing this guy and we have had sex 3 times. He gets off obviously but I don't. I haven't orgasmed and we've never gone down town on each other neither. How do i get the ball rolling? We are also 24 years apart, i wonder if maybe in his day it was no big deal?


Ummm, he might like to consider your needs at some point - seems a tad selfish to me. Gee how could he be so ignorant. It's more than half the fun seeing the look of contentment on your partners face. Some men! A sit down may be required.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*With me, oral is always precursory to the initial coital act! It just seems so much more natural that way!

And if she "arbitrarily" sits on my face, so much the better! But I would know that she was "clean" first, just as she should know the same thing about me!*


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Pink Lady - I have been married for 20 years. My wife has never given me oral....she hasnt even kissed me anywhere below the belly button. She thinks oral (giving) is replusive...though she enjoys receiving.
Which I have stopped doing. Whilst I enjoy giving I used to do it because she loved it....cuts both ways.
Its a real issue for me and I wish I had been more decisive 20 years ago.

If giving oral isn't his thing and it is for you, get out before you are in too deep.....please.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

If I went down on a woman (either early in a relationship or later) and she was regularly "not yummy", it would be over pretty quick. Might as well find out about it sooner than later. 

C


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## Chris.m (May 15, 2013)

Is it just me, or is this a marriage forum? Just saying. There are other places for you to ask random sex questions, this one is for married people.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Chris.m said:


> Is it just me, or is this a marriage forum? Just saying. There are other places for you to ask random sex questions, this one is for married people.


Pink lady has been here for a long time. Back when she was married she came here to find a way to make that relationship better. In the course of that mission, she became a member of the TAM family and as such is always welcome to voice her thoughts and questions. 

Yes this is a marriage forum, but it is also a relationship forum.

BTW, who appointed you the arbiter of posting worthiness?


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

pink_lady said:


> Yes, I'm aware of that, but what I was asking was, for those who DO enjoy it, when in the relationship do you first go down? Before intercourse, after? Do you wait for her to do it first? Etc.


Before intercourse. And I would go first. But I've always liked to even though I suck at it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

sinnister said:


> Before intercourse. And I would go first. But I've always liked to even though I suck at it.


You can't suck at something you enjoy doing. Truth.

Technique is good to have, but enthusiasm is everything you need.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Oh the fun of trying to find out each others sexuality without talking to each other first? Sounds like you need to just open up and ask how he feels about things. I play a few question game and the response is turn on or turn off? its a great way to get to know someone limits.


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## Kaci (Mar 11, 2013)

[QUOTEMissScarlett;5521209]I wouldn't be too worried yet - I .

I don't want to be single BUT if I did find myself dating ever again I would give a 3rd degree interrogation. In my 20's I was all - do you want kids someday? What do you plan to do with your life and are you finishing school? Now I would be like - before our meal gets here would you mind looking over this checklist of sexual acts and circle the ones you are definite no on. I would like to try your oral skills before we start dating per se. Just review my list of requests and tell me what you think.[/QUOTE]

:rofl:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Anon Pink said:


> You can't suck at something you enjoy doing. Truth.
> 
> Technique is good to have, but enthusiasm is everything you need.


I golf enthusiastically, but I still suck at it... Just saying 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

There are tutorials on line. Plenty of them. If you are not averse to that kind of thing since some of them are pretty much porn. Educational porn, of course. Porn with a purpose.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

PBear said:


> I golf enthusiastically, but I still suck at it... Just saying
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


But the golf club and ball can't tell whether you like it or hate it.

A woman can!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I can't add much in the way of advice on this one.Only perspective from my situation.
DH begged to go down from the start.I made him wait bc I wasn't ready for that.It's more intimate to me than intercourse.

He had been turned down and shot down when it came to oral from all previous partners.I'm probably the 2nd one to let him do it.

He might be waiting for permission from you...


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I am thinking that maybe I should change my technique and it should be 30 secs after the first introduction. Hi I am John, Would you mind stepping into this other room for a minute. LOL


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

It's funny...I always knew oral was one of those things that women enjoyed, especially if their man is good at it. Side note about oral...I have heard plenty of women express that there is such a thing as bad oral, but still operate under the thoughts that any bj is a good bj...I digress...

With my STBW, as I said earlier, I went down on her really early, before the first PIV, and she STILL brings that time up from time to time. She was quite surprised at the time that I even went there, thought I had a lot of balls doing it because if I did it and sucked, it would have been worse than not doing it all. She likely would have lost a lot of physical attraction. She almost stopped me because she initially didn't want me to be fighting a losing battle and lose confidence because she had always had extreme difficulty O'ing with oral. She decided to give me a chance and was even more surprised when she O'ed within minutes. She half jokingly, half seriously tells me from time to time that right then was when she decided I was a keeper and she wasn't going to let me get away.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> She decided to give me a chance and was even more surprised when she O'ed within minutes. She half jokingly, half seriously tells me from time to time that right then was when she decided I was a keeper and she wasn't going to let me get away.


Well duh!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Well duh!


Well, she has admitted that it created somewhat of an internal conflict for her. It was pretty obvious to her from the start that that wasn't the first time I'd done that. Part of her wanted to know more about how I learned and another part didn't even want to think about it. Almost a slight bit of RJ maybe?

It had a pretty big emotional impact on her as well as physical. I don't think it was so much that I have any special or amazing skills as much as it is we are just that in tune and sexually compatible. She claims it's both equally


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## Code-Welder (Dec 17, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> Yes, I'm aware of that, but what I was asking was, for those who DO enjoy it, when in the relationship do you first go down? Before intercourse, after? Do you wait for her to do it first? Etc.


Were you fresh down there when you had sex? Also did you preform oral on him that time? Some men will wait a couple times, oral in many ways is more personal than PIV.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Code-Welder said:


> Were you fresh down there when you had sex? Also did you preform oral on him that time? Some men will wait a couple times, oral in many ways is more personal than PIV.


I was on a date with a long-distance new boyfriend ready to do it the first time. So yes, of course I was 'fresh'. I'm a healthy size 6 and a vegan. I am also smooth as a baby's butt thanks to Brazilian laser hair removal  But since he didn't get his face anywhere near there, how would he know if I wasn't?

Maybe being with a man for years who constantly told me how good I tasted and couldn't get enough of my kitty (whether I had just showered made no difference) spoiled me in this respect.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*If I ever felt spontaneously moved toward the bedroom, then I skip the small talk and just let nature take it's course.

Otherwise, I would hope that sometime during the precursory non-sexual part of the relationship, however long that might last; whether it was either through talking, texting, IMing, or whatnot, that I'd get some semblance of a clue as to what my lady would like sexually for herself as well as for me! 

And if her likes/dislikes/indifferences failed to meet mine and vice-versa, then it would give either of us the option of "opting out" and just moving on along to more hospitable endeavors!*


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

sinnister said:


> Before intercourse. And I would go first. But I've always liked to even though I suck at it.


Sounds like you are being too hard on yourself- imo it's up to the woman to communicate what she likes orally. We are all different and there is no other way for you to know.

My STBXH (I live in a state where I have to be separated a full year before I can file for divorce) was passive aggressive as all get out, including in bed, but even he went down on me the first time we were together, and I let him know exactly what I wanted during ("no pointy tongue- flat- think ice cream cone" "there's no one perfect spot- just pick one and stay there"). I don't think giving me oral was his favorite thing, but he came to like having the ability to make me scream my head off.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

I don't think that bringing it up on the phone as such is the best of ideas.

However you could lay the ground work by saying that you want to have a really long, languorous session with as many different bits of foreplay as you can both think of.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

While I think that oral should come naturally so someone who is highly sexual, please don't be upset at him for not reading your mind.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I haven't had a new partner in 33 years, but I would do it every day if she would let me. I know off topic.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> Yes, I'm aware of that, but what I was asking was, for those who DO enjoy it, when in the relationship do you first go down? Before intercourse, after? Do you wait for her to do it first? Etc.


Before I got married and was dating, I never really had a time table for going down on a woman. If the moment felt right, I went ahead and did it, however it was always before we had intercourse for the first time. There were a couple of rare occasions where women didn't care for oral, which I thought was odd, especially in this day and age.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

MissScarlett said:


> I wouldn't be too worried yet - I would wait and see what happens over this weekend. As you said, you didn't do oral on him either - maybe he's thinking the same thing right now.
> 
> I only had one boyfriend who was into oral - and we never ended up having sex (we were both virgins still.) All the other men ive been with including my husband were not oral guys. In fact because that is all ive known I assume all men don't care for it.
> 
> I don't want to be single BUT if I did find myself dating ever again I would give a 3rd degree interrogation. In my 20's I was all - do you want kids someday? What do you plan to do with your life and are you finishing school? Now I would be like - before our meal gets here would you mind looking over this checklist of sexual acts and circle the ones you are definite no on. I would like to try your oral skills before we start dating per se. Just review my list of requests and tell me what you think.


Well I am one guy that loves giving oral. I love everything about the vajayjay. Smell, taste, wetness. I loved it when my wife would be close to climax and she would grab my head and press down hard, convulsing against my tongue. Huge turn on. I'm weird like that.

If a women gave me a checklist like that ... I think I would fall in love, lol.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

coupdegrace said:


> pink_lady said:
> 
> 
> > Yes, I'm aware of that, but what I was asking was, for those who DO enjoy it, when in the relationship do you first go down? Before intercourse, after? Do you wait for her to do it first? Etc.
> ...


I think it would be a big problem for me if she didn't care for oral. That would be a dealbreaker for me, I think.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

ClimbingTheWalls said:


> I don't think that bringing it up on the phone as such is the best of ideas.
> 
> However you could lay the ground work by saying that you want to have a really long, languorous session with as many different bits of foreplay as you can both think of.


Climbing can you elaborate? Why not bring it up on the phone?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Well I am one guy that loves giving oral. I love everything about the vajayjay. Smell, taste, wetness.


 What about the tightness and muscular response?



JustSomeGuyWho said:


> I loved it when my wife would be close to climax and she would grab my head and press down hard, convulsing against my tongue. Huge turn on. I'm weird like that.
> 
> If a women gave me a checklist like that ... I think I would fall in love, lol.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

*Re: Re: Men, how soon do you go down on new partner?*



ScarletBegonias said:


> I can't add much in the way of advice on this one.Only perspective from my situation.
> DH begged to go down from the start.I made him wait bc I wasn't ready for that.It's more intimate to me than intercourse.
> 
> He had been turned down and shot down when it came to oral from all previous partners.I'm probably the 2nd one to let him do it.
> ...


the difference being, that in your case, you said b begged you to go down, this guy didn't say anything to her. 

for me, sexual talk always preceded encounters, so you have a good idea of what they are into.

oral usually happened before actual sex, and most definitely at the time of. if I'm ever in the game again, damn straight there is going to be some serious discussion about sexuality, and keen observation. I've learned WAY to much to be caught flat footed again.

ah, the naivety of youth.... I'm glad I'll never have to go through it again!


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

I agree with sam, I think he's got it in him, you just need to coax it out


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> Climbing can you elaborate? Why not bring it up on the phone?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think phone is fine. Just ask him how he feels about oral sex. If he's into it, he won't have any trouble talking about it.


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## dontbeused (Nov 15, 2013)

It should be the after dinner mint of every successful first date IMO.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Oral is for top-shelf, as was posted earlier. I wouldn't go down on someone who i was just "hanging out with" per se. And I absolutely LOVE going down on my woman! Unfortaunately for me at this juncture, I'm with someone who thinks it's gross, so she's willing to do it because I want to. Which is a turn off... 

Did I mention I LOVE going down on my woman? Seriously, it would be a deal breaker if I had this to do over (OK her cheating would be, but this would be the second thing).


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

So anyway, I'd ask him about it next time you talk to him. Not text or email, just talking. Listen to his response time, his voice; you'll be able to pick it up easily whether or not his response is what you're looking for.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

pink_lady said:


> I haven't gone down on him yet either, like I said I guess I'm used to the guy taking the lead at first.


Wait? What? Huh? Maybe HE'S posting somewhere "Girls, how soon do you go down on your new partner?"

And...."..if she doesn't like doing that it's a deal breaker for me."


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

I am so oral it borderlines on a fetish. I don't really care if my wife gives me a BJ, but it's rare that I don't spend quite a bit of time on her. I have always been this way. I didn't have a big number of patners before marriage, but I really enjoyed every moment doting on them "down there". It was the first thing we did sexually with any of them.

That said, if any of them had told me that not going down on them was a deal breaker then I probably would have walked away from the relationship. Obviously it's not because I wouldn't, since I crave it. I have always believed that relationships are about give and take. Sex is about finding ways to please and satisfy each other. Some things are negotiated. Some things my wife's enthusiasm makes me want to do. Some things I do because I love her. Some things develop over time. A partner telling me "Do this, or hit the hiway" clearly tells me that she's more concerned about herself and instant gratification thatn she is about developing a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship. That would be the deal breaker for me.

Sex is great. Oral sex practically makes me high. Having been through sexual dry spells, health problems, money problems and kid problems, I would definately put finding a woman who understands what relationships are about far over and above a woman who put any given sex act first and foremost on the list of qualities that she wants in a man. I suppose if I was just looking for a FWB or not really looking for any kind of commitment, I might look at it differently.

Just my $.02


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

pplwatching said:


> I am so oral it borderlines on a fetish. I don't really care if my wife gives me a BJ, but it's rare that I don't spend quite a bit of time on her. I have always been this way. I didn't have a big number of patners before marriage, but I really enjoyed every moment doting on them "down there". It was the first thing we did sexually with any of them.
> 
> *That said, if any of them had told me that not going down on them was a deal breaker then I probably would have walked away from the relationship. Obviously it's not because I wouldn't, since I crave it. I have always believed that relationships are about give and take. Sex is about finding ways to please and satisfy each other.* Some things are negotiated. Some things my wife's enthusiasm makes me want to do. Some things I do because I love her. Some things develop over time. A partner telling me "Do this, or hit the hiway" clearly tells me that she's more concerned about herself and instant gratification thatn she is about developing a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship. That would be the deal breaker for me.
> 
> ...


Please keep in mind that many, many, many women can never, ever, ever have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. So if oral sex is a deal-breaker for her, it's not always simply a preference, but a requirement if she wants an orgasm. Yes, she can use a vibrator or her hand, or his hand, but agreeing to a lifetime of only vibrator or hand is not likely to be acceptable.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Nothing beats the smell of a healthy pvssy. When you first get to work with the tongue the brain is already getting high. Licks one and two can have a slight taste of urine, but it disappears at once, and strangely enough it is not disgusting.

Also, I don't care if a woman is clean shaven. Actually the hair is nice even if it isn't in fashion anymore. Cute cotton panties are nicer than any frilly underwear.

re: your date
There is no need for a lot of clinical discussion. Start making out and then whisper that you what him to meet a friend of yours. Just say someone who you discuss all your important decisions. And with that then gentlly guide his head down to be introduced.


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

I can't remember exactly how long into our sexual relationship we started with oral, but I know it wasn't terribly soon, although we were having PIV sex from the get go. 

To me, oral is more intimate--both to give to to receive. (He says it's the same for him--he wouldn't dive in until he felt comfortable with the relationship.) Over the years, our sex life has evolved to include just about every act you can imagine. 

He is EXTREMELY oral and will give it to me unsolicited and unreciprocated. I'm the same--love giving him BJ's. 

I'm not sure we could have answered the question "will oral be a big part of sex for us?" when we first started sleeping together. I think so much depends on the dynamic between two people. Maybe I'd hate giving BJ's if I was with someone else? Maybe I'd hate getting oral from someone else?

To me, likes and dislikes in sex is more than what feels good to me physically--it's what I like with a particular partner. 

At least I think that's how it would be with me . . . having been with the same man for 24 years makes this all conjecture.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

pplwatching said:


> I am so oral it borderlines on a fetish. I don't really care if my wife gives me a BJ, but it's rare that I don't spend quite a bit of time on her. I have always been this way. I didn't have a big number of patners before marriage, but I really enjoyed every moment doting on them "down there". It was the first thing we did sexually with any of them.
> 
> That said, if any of them had told me that not going down on them was a deal breaker then I probably would have walked away from the relationship. Obviously it's not because I wouldn't, since I crave it. I have always believed that relationships are about give and take. Sex is about finding ways to please and satisfy each other. Some things are negotiated. Some things my wife's enthusiasm makes me want to do. Some things I do because I love her. Some things develop over time. A partner telling me "Do this, or hit the hiway" clearly tells me that she's more concerned about herself and instant gratification thatn she is about developing a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship. That would be the deal breaker for me.
> 
> ...


First, obviously I have absolutely no interest in trying to 'force' a guy into performing any sexual acts with me. Because that would make it SO much fun for me? Yeah, no.

Second, it's about a lot more than the physical act itself. (Just because I care about oral sex from a partner does not mean that is the only thing I care about in a relationship. That doesn't even make any sense. :scratchhead 

It's about choosing someone for a partner who _accepts_ and _likes_ my body- all of it. If he looks at my most private of areas and says 'ooh, ick, don't wanna smell/taste that- even though it gives you intense pleasure' I'm sorry but yes, that is a dealbreaker for me. I would imagine it's the same for many other women, and for many men.

I consider oral a totally mainstream component of sex. For some I guess it's an 'extra' but I don't happen to be one of them. And that's okay. 

I don't think I'd be doing the man a favor by staying with him though a major sexual compatibility issue exists between us. We'd end up resenting each other and that would not lead to a mutually satisfying relationship.

I would respectfully tell him that our needs don't quite match up- so we would each be free to find a partner who is a better fit.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

pink_lady said:


> Do ya'll think that the fact that he did not go down before we had PIV (after months of long distance build up and a long make-out session) is a sign that he doesn't like to do it?


Just talk to him about it. Communicate.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I personally am a big fan of a man going downstairs. 
It would absolutely be a sexual dealbreaker for me if a man I was with didn't want to do it.
No, thanks. 
I know that some women are not a fan of it at all and I respect that, but I can't relate to it.

Luckily, I have been truly blessed in my life that the romantic partners I have had have all been major vagina worshipers.

Winning!

:smthumbup:


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

norajane said:


> Please keep in mind that many, many, many women can never, ever, ever have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. So if oral sex is a deal-breaker for her, it's not always simply a preference, but a requirement if she wants an orgasm. Yes, she can use a vibrator or her hand, or his hand, but agreeing to a lifetime of only vibrator or hand is not likely to be acceptable.


In a healthy relationship there is discussion and comprimise. It is one thing if a man categorically says "no dice" and won't work towards healthy and mutually enjoyable sex life. That's selfish and its reasonable to find another lover.. It is another thing entirely to say "I love this and its important to me" and ask him to make a commitment to make an effort and maybe even learn together how to make it mutually fun and enjoyable. To simply say at the very beginning of the relationship "No oral , get out." definately isn't in the spiritof building a great relationship together. But tthat's obviously just my opinion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Well yeah, there are a lot of great guys who wont give oral. But if you know its important to you and necessary for your sexual satisfaction there is not a lot of reason to get serious with someone who wont. 

These people are divorced and in their 40's - there's no reason to beat around the bush (so to speak.)


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Crazy idea here, but any reason you can't take the initiative and go down on him first? It sounds bit like an entitlement attitude that you just expect him to go first.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

pplwatching said:


> In a healthy relationship there is discussion and comprimise. It is one thing if a man categorically says "no dice" and won't work towards healthy and mutually enjoyable sex life. That's selfish and its reasonable to find another lover.. It is another thing entirely to say "I love this and its important to me" and ask him to make a commitment to make an effort and maybe even learn together how to make it mutually fun and enjoyable. To simply say at the very beginning of the relationship "No oral , get out." definately isn't in the spiritof building a great relationship together. But tthat's obviously just my opinion.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I wouldn't be with someone who wouldn't let me give her oral. In fact, I was in the initial stages of a long distance relationship with someone, and it came up that due to past sexual abuse, receiving oral sex was a no-go for her. I knew that based on that, the odds of us having a mutually satisfying sex life were very very slim, so that was the end of it. And I while I am very sorry for the abuse she suffered, I don't regret my decision. 

Good sex is only one component of a great relationship, but it's a very important component. Really, it's like someone who really really wants kids getting involved with someone who's been not able to have kids. Yeah, it's only part of the complete relationship. But especially in the early phases of the relationship, why compromise so heavily. Especially when you're not asking for anything outrageous.

And yes, I know you're not saying you're against oral sex or anything. But there's nothing wrong (to me) about knowing what floats your boat and trying to find it. I think another thread talks about "lots of other hats to try on". After all, we're not talking about trying to save a 20 year marriage. 

C


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## Rebfjecca (Nov 16, 2013)

orgasms and it's usually oral.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

I agree with the people who say that oral sex is a more intimate act, and therefore something they wait a bit before doing. 

Additionally, there are a surprisingly large number of women who are against oral sex of any kind, so perhaps he has been with women who felt the same way. Regardless, I think a discussion about this topic is in order.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

When he said he felt you'd both barely scratched the surface sexually, did you take that cue to open conversation? Have you gone down on him yet? I agree with the others about communication being the thing that seems lacking at the moment.

And I also understand the need to have a man that's enthusiastic to go down south. We've had our moments to work through over the years but getting acquainted orally including 69, was something we enjoyed before having intercourse. It would be high on my sexual-list too. Not only because of the power it has to drive me wild..! but also as you said, it's about accepting and loving my body. And I find that incredibly sexy.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> Climbing can you elaborate? Why not bring it up on the phone?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think that bringing it up on the phone specifically might make it into a problem issue, unless you are VERY careful to make sure it does not come across as disappointment with the last session.

Now, if you happen to have a steamy conversation where you are getting yourselves all excited in anticipation of the next meeting then by all means start talking about oral sex and all the things you want to do to him and him to you. Then you can gauge his reaction both to the suggestion on the phone and his subsequent behaviour.

If I had had a couple of sex sessions with a new man and then on the phone he said very matter of factly that I had not given him a BJ yet and would I please do so next time it would really take the edge off for me. I happen to like giving BJs very much, so that situation would be unlikely to arise, but I also like to surprise my partner so being asked to do something (which I may fully have intended to do) would probably take something away from the experience for me.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I know that I'm about as open-minded as they come, but a woman who wouldn't agree to receiving or giving oral, would pretty much be a virtual deal-breaker for me.

And I would sincerely hope that they would feel the very same way!*


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I hope Pink Lady has had a great weekend and will come back and report!


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## Waits4Mr.Right (Oct 29, 2011)

So I'm thinking, based on some of the posts on here that maybe I just need to be the one to go down 1st and see what his reaction is? Seems like I'm introducing new things to him that he's never dealt w/ before. 1, I'm the youngest he's ever dated, and 2, I'm the 1st girl he's been w/ to have pierced nipples. He says it's something he'll have to get use to.  .....In the sex department, I have to admit I'm very naive. I didn't even know what an "O" was. Now that I do, I make sure I get mine regularly....w/ Bob (battery operated boyfriend). I don't "o" with the guy I'm seeing b/c of no stimulation down there. I'm shy, so I don't know how to bring up the subject...He may feel hurt that i wasn't honest with him but what do I say?? Also I guess I would feel a little embarrassed for having an "O" and making a mess? Currently, I do it in the shower where clean up is a breeze....I guess I have a few issues. Any suggestion would help. Thanks!


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## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> You can't suck at something you enjoy doing. Truth.
> 
> Technique is good to have, but enthusiasm is everything you need.


Sucking is good (for both men and women)...


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> So I'm thinking, based on some of the posts on here that maybe I just need to be the one to go down 1st and see what his reaction is? Seems like I'm introducing new things to him that he's never dealt w/ before. 1, I'm the youngest he's ever dated, and 2, I'm the 1st girl he's been w/ to have pierced nipples. He says it's something he'll have to get use to.  .....In the sex department, I have to admit I'm very naive. I didn't even know what an "O" was. Now that I do, I make sure I get mine regularly....w/ Bob (battery operated boyfriend). I don't "o" with the guy I'm seeing b/c of no stimulation down there. I'm shy, so I don't know how to bring up the subject...He may feel hurt that i wasn't honest with him but what do I say?? Also I guess I would feel a little embarrassed for having an "O" and making a mess? Currently, I do it in the shower where clean up is a breeze....I guess I have a few issues. Any suggestion would help. Thanks!


I'm learning this lesson way too late in life. There are no positives to keeping your sexual needs inside. Perhaps a lot of us women are concerned that we will bruise the male ego when we say we aren't getting off. And perhaps it does bruise the male ego. If a man isn't showing any effort to pleasure you he is either ignorant or a selfish ass and neither should continue to pass.

(I acknowledge there are a variety of situations in which men would love to get their lady off and cant for whatever reason - I am not talking about you. I am talking about men that don't try or don't seem to care.)

Its totally awkward to bring this topic up if you are with someone who doesn't ask questions or ask for feedback. However - there is no benefit in putting it off. None.

Miss Scarlett is feeling harsh today because she needs to get off herself and implied on the way to Target that her husband was a selfish ass. Hmph.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

To all the partners of wives/girlfriends on here who have said 'I love giving him bj's...' I am as jealous as hell.

I'm off into the forest to sulk and eat worms!


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

sinnister said:


> Before intercourse. And I would go first. But I've always liked to even though I suck at it.


I haven't read the rest of this thread yet, so somebody may have already said what I'm about to, but...

What works for one person doesn't always work for another. I'm not a woman, but I'm not so sure you can "suck" at oral sex. (unless you're doing raspberries down there...) Each woman will like it a different way (in my experience), and the next woman you do this for might have her mind blown and think it's the best oral she's ever had.

My ex wife got absolutely nothing out my "skills", and would often just pull my head up. Granted, there were other issues there, but oral tended to just be a way to lubricate her before piv, rather than anything that actually turned her on. My current wife will usually O at least once, and usually 2-3 times before piv, where she'll have another 1-3 O's.

Besides, it's 99% listening to your partner. Ask outright, listen, or at least read the signs. If you truly do suck at it, it's because you're not listening/paying attention.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

pink_lady said:


> How early do you do this with new partners?


My husband did not venture there until after we were married...it is one of his favorite things to do. I wasn't comfortable back then, but have come around.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> So I'm thinking, based on some of the posts on here that maybe I just need to be the one to go down 1st and see what his reaction is?


Just do it. 

I mean, it's only fair if you want him to go down on you.

Equality!


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

Usually, I go down on a new partner on the first time that we have sex. I am not a huge fan of receiving oral but if they want to, then that's fine. However, I am a bit assertive and like to use my tongue for all it is worth.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

So, I opted to see what happened this weekend. Not that I'm afraid to talk to him about it- I'm actually very vocal about what I like- but as I mentioned I've never been in this particular situation before - and I wanted to find out if oral was something he actually liked to do, not felt like he _had_ to do.

At dinner he said 'you're going to be my dessert' and I though, okay, this is going to be good...

But when things got going he made no moves in that direction. He then had issues getting an erection (and he was quite critical of me, basically telling me it was my fault). I offered him oral and he said 'no thanks, I got this'. Uh...okay?

Later I asked why he wasn't interested in oral and he said something about not being clean enough.

We managed sex the next day, but no indication that my O was a goal of his. Foreplay was perfunctory and consisted of him doing manual stimulation just long enough to get me lubricated for entry- when he finished he immediately fell asleep. This was the second time we've slept together.

At the time I didn't ask for additional stimulation because I was not enjoying being with him and knew even if he did something 'extra' for me it wouldn't lead to a climax anyway- I was basically just waiting for it to be over at that point .

We will not be seeing each other again, not just due to the sexual incompatibility but other issues that became clear during the weekend. 

What I've taken from this is that I need to find out what a potential bf is into earlier, so as not to waste his and/or my time.

However, my issue with this has been that I just read 'Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady' and read some posts here from guys who would not be serious about a woman who'd had too many partners or had sex with them too soon (and that's not my nature anyway- I need to know someone first). So asking, 'hey, do you love to lick pvssy?' upon meeting a guy doesn't seem to fit into that, if that makes sense.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Well at least you found out before you wasted more time. I much rather give pleasure than receive it. I want a woman grabbing the bed sheets and become religious when I am heading south. I am not done till she is kicking me away yelling enough already enough! Then I am smiling.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*In my younger college years, I was scared to death to "go South" because of the possibility of rejection and whatnot and only performed the precursory PIV after heavy frat-house make out sessions! In time, I fastly learned that I was missing the absolute best of what life had to offer!

And I hold to that to this very day!*


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> However, my issue with this has been that I just read 'Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady' and read some posts here from guys who would not be serious about a woman who'd had too many partners or had sex with them too soon (and that's not my nature anyway- I need to know someone first). So asking, 'hey, do you love to lick pvssy?' upon meeting a guy doesn't seem to fit into that, if that makes sense.


Me - I wouldn't care how many partners you had. It's what you do with me that makes the difference.

I also don't have hang ups about too soon sex. Please, we're adults. Sex is a good thing.

Ask away. You won't know unless you ask. It's better to find out right away if they are shy or open about sex as well.

I did that with my SO (I asked if she knew how to cum, because faking it was not an option, as well as other questions)

I would say "here's the deal. I like oral. I like to give. I like to receive. In fact I expect to receive. It's real important part of my sexual enjoyment"

cut right to the chase.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Onward and upward!


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Better to find out sooner than later. 
At least you get to keep fishing till the right one bites (no pun -- ouch!).


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

*Re: Re: Men, how soon do you go down on new partner?*



pink_lady said:


> So, I opted to see what happened this weekend. Not that I'm afraid to talk to him about it- I'm actually very vocal about what I like- but as I mentioned I've never been in this particular situation before - and I wanted to find out if oral was something he actually liked to do, not felt like he _had_ to do.
> 
> At dinner he said 'you're going to be my dessert' and I though, okay, this is going to be good...
> 
> ...


you are right, it's a double edged sword. you never REALLY know what someone is like until you are actually doing the deed. the only good indicators that I had ever found are if someone is very touchy, and sensory oriented, they made better lovers.

communication is absolute must.

I wouldn't stress too much on partner count. if someone is a sexually oriented person, they probably are going to understand you having been with multiple partners. if sexuality is very important to you, look for someone who is sexual.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

pink_lady said:


> At dinner he said 'you're going to be my dessert' and I though, okay, this is going to be good...
> 
> But when things got going he made no moves in that direction. He then had issues getting an erection (and he was quite critical of me, basically telling me it was my fault). I offered him oral and he said 'no thanks, I got this'. Uh...okay?
> 
> Later I asked why he wasn't interested in oral and he said something about not being clean enough.


Yuck. So glad you aren't seeing this guy again. He sounds like a jerk. 

As far as dating goes and in the future, get to know a guy first, his character, then find out who/who he is in bed if you are referencing that book.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Yuck. So glad you aren't seeing this guy again. He sounds like a jerk.
> 
> As far as dating goes and in the future, get to know a guy first, his character, then find out who/who he is in bed if you are referencing that book.


Yeah, lol. He really did turn out to be a jerk. I did put off sex with him for quite a while- wishful thinking that it would go well.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

We'll damn! I was hoping to read about fireworks at least in the sack.

NEXT!!!


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Sorry things didn't work out. I was hoping it was going to be a good weekend!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> We'll damn! I was hoping to read about fireworks at least in the sack.
> 
> NEXT!!!


Me too....we need juicy details.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I Notice The Details said:


> Me too....we need juicy details.


But there were no juices flowing. It seems he was a wam bam fall asleep man.

Clearly, he is NOT a TAM man!


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Sometimes first time we had sex, other times not till the 2nd or 3rd time (it just depends on the mood/timing). I mean I LOVE ORAL

but I have not done oral on hook up's/one night stands 

I once had a girlfriend who was extremely inexperienced the first time we did anything sexual was when I fingered her I would of gone down on her, but I thought it might be "too soon" for her. A guy who is not wanting to pressure a girl might be more relaxed, perhaps because he was accused by women of being "too pushy". 

I know I got that once and it kind of f#cked me up and made me doubt myself. So id typically wait to do oral once they gave me oral or we had sex.


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## daSaint (Sep 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> We'll damn! I was hoping to read about fireworks at least in the sack.
> 
> NEXT!!!


Arrrggghhh!!!!....you hacked into my mind!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daSaint (Sep 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Clearly, he is NOT a TAM man!


That statement got me rolling on the floor with laughter! Clearly, TAM has a pretty high standard, and (Lord have mercy) its so high, yet soooo sweet too!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> So, I opted to see what happened this weekend. Not that I'm afraid to talk to him about it- I'm actually very vocal about what I like- but as I mentioned I've never been in this particular situation before - and I wanted to find out if oral was something he actually liked to do, not felt like he _had_ to do.
> 
> At dinner he said 'you're going to be my dessert' and I though, okay, this is going to be good...
> 
> ...


Uggh..too bad it came to this. This reminded me of one of the sex conversations my STBW and I had before we started dating. We had already gotten the basics out of the way...frequency, positions, likes, dislikes, and yes, we talked about oral too. When we got into the partner count, it was obvious that there was a huge discrepency, but she said point blank that part of why she wanted to talk about sex so bluntly was that she was not willing to up her count just to find out if we were compatible...you may want to think about taking a page out of her playbook in the future...


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I remember going down on my wife the first time we had sex. She told me she never had anyone do that too her before. I thought she was the most beautiful thing I ever laid eyes on and she was having sex with me and there was no way I was not going to show her I wanted to please her in every way I could! I was not sure how I was going to go about pleasing her but I was dam sure that what I didn't know I was going to make up in enthusiasm. Well some way some how I had her grabbing the sheets and having her praying to the man upstairs. She came once hard but I didnt stop I continued to feast till she was telling me she had enough. I wanted to make sure she knew that no other would love that thing as much as I did that night. She has been comming back for more for 29 years so I am going to say it worked!


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

you should go down whenever you feel comfortable... just not immediately after eating spicy food! =-)


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Uggh..too bad it came to this. This reminded me of one of the sex conversations my STBW and I had before we started dating. We had already gotten the basics out of the way...frequency, positions, likes, dislikes, and yes, we talked about oral too. When we got into the partner count, it was obvious that there was a huge discrepency, but she said point blank that part of why she wanted to talk about sex so bluntly was that she was not willing to up her count just to find out if we were compatible...you may want to think about taking a page out of her playbook in the future...


I like her approach!


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

doubletrouble said:


> Oral is for top-shelf, as was posted earlier. I wouldn't go down on someone who i was just "hanging out with" per se.


I've never slept with someone I wasn't 'in a relationship' with. Except once when I had a one night stand with a guy friend (full moon and lots of tequila). 

For me I have to know and be very attracted to a man to want to sleep with him. If I'm into him enough for intercourse, I'm into all of it.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

I kinda agree with Pink Lady and her above post. 
She had a one night stand, as I have and as I'm sure many other people have....very often they are purely for sexual relief. Very mechanical.

Sex is SOOOOO much better if you atleast 'like' the other person. Atleast some emotional bond there as well...

Glad I have a good memory!


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## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

I think oral sex is more intimate than an intercourse.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

That's a bummer PL, I thought "you were my dessert" was going to include some juicy details.


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## Jambri (Mar 19, 2013)

As soon as I possibly could! To me there is nothing hotter than going down on a girl...I love it! I'd rather do that than get a bj or even have intercourse <3


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I go down to her triangle as soon as she is comfortable enough to take these off....


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## Aule (Aug 20, 2012)

As soon as we both take a shower together.


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## HardLanden (Oct 31, 2013)

While the panties are still in the upward part of the arc they follow on their way to the floor.


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