# Is internet flirting too much?



## theBlameGame (May 6, 2009)

Ok, I've always been funned of going online and talking to people. Just because it's interesting. 

One time I was logged in on an internet chatroom and met a couple of nice people(both men and women). We all joked laughed and actually shared some interesting stories. Though we all haven't met each other in person because we are from different countries, we all know a bit about each other. They know that I'm in the US, *Married*, 24 and ETC. Now, one of the chatters(a man of course) decided to initiate a voice conversation with me. Which I willingly accepted. I found it alright because all it is just talking. Yes, there was alot of joking around and Yes, i did enjoy it. 

Now, when i told my friends about this they told me to stop it because its like cheating on my H. I strongly disagree because I am not having an affair with anybody physically nor emotionally. All I am is interacting with different people online.

What do you guys think?:scratchhead:


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## pairofduces (Dec 28, 2008)

Yes. This is stuff you should be doing with your husband - not other men.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

From what you described, it doesn't sound like too much, but it can lead to more. Most affairs (online or real life, emotional and physical) start innocently. I have a lot of experience with online flirting and what got me to stop was the guilt, anxiety I felt. It felt so addicted to the attention. Even though I told my husband about the flirting site and some of the men I enjoy interacting with, I still felt it was unhealthy for me to continue. On the other hand if you can truly say this is a platonic relationship and hubby feels he can eagerly participate with you in all your chats, then I see no harm. Online is a great way to meet diverse friends.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Answer these questions. Would you have a problem with your husband doing it? And would you be comfortable with your husband listening in to your conversation?


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## SaxonMan (Apr 1, 2009)

It's a rocky, rocky road. In my opinion, it's just not worth it. There are enough problems that will arise naturally without adding potential ones such as these.

I'm not saying that what you're doing isn't innocent, it's just that my experience with anything that COULD lead to cheating of any kind, the way to stay true to yourself - and your partner - is to "nip it in the bud" instantly. This is the bud stage. Go get your gardening scissors.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

You call it flirting, so what do you want out of it? I would never refer to my online chats as flirting. 

If I am online with someone, the talk should not be sexual or intimate (emotionally) in anyway--that's a clear boundary you don't cross if married. But other than that, I see no harm. It is a great way to meet people and learn about life all around the world.


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## theBlameGame (May 6, 2009)

Everything that was posted here has been helpul to me. Would I mind if my husband listened in on the conversation I won't mind at all. I know it won't interest him at all though. As for the question about would I have a problem if my husband did the same thing? I won't at all we are both really loyal people who's never had a cheating problem.

My h doesn't know what I'm doing just because we often let each other be. We just have this certain understanding that we will be together no matter what and cheating is just never gonna happen. 

Yeah, nipping it on the bud is the right thing to do and I always do that when someone is crossing the line. I don't want anything more that just a decent conversation and some flaterry. Hehehe


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## SaxonMan (Apr 1, 2009)

Hope you don't mind me saying, but I was liking your post until I got to this bit:


> I don't want anything more that just a decent conversation and some *flaterry*. Hehehe


In my opinion, you SHOULD NOT be getting flattery from males online. That puts it squarely back down that "rocky road".

Just saying...


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## Private Eye Wife (May 8, 2009)

I HAD a friend who BECAME so comfortable with an online "friend" that she cheated on her H after meeting the man. She became reliant on him daily & eventually they became lovers. After her marriage ended, he also dropped her.


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## theBlameGame (May 6, 2009)

Sax sorry about that last sentence. Once I read that line again, I went "shux!". I think I sent the wrong message when i said that I like the "flattery". Hmmm....how could I say this in a much better sense and wording.

I meant I just like it when I find people who "understands" me and actually feel the same way I do. Also, I feel really good when people tell me "you're pretty" or "you're so nice" or even "he's lucky to have you" online. I know they don't know me entirely but it feels good to be admired like that. Besides, those kind words doesn't only come from men. I get praises from nice women I meet online as well. 

Honestly so far even when I chat online all I really talk about is my marriage, my husband and my cakes(yeah i make cakes). There are only a few times when the conversations went from my husband to "I wish I had a girl like you..." kind of a conversation. Then that's when I start nipping! haha

The way I feel about it is that this online chat is really just a pass time. Just for fun kind of a thing..now is that bad?


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

Keep in mind that there are lots of predators that would say anything to get you to fall for them. It may seem fun and flattering, but these same flirty men are saying the same lines to dozens of women online every day.


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## theBlameGame (May 6, 2009)

:iagree:

I definitely agree with you on that Sensitive. That's why it's like nothing to me. I enjoy it at that moment but I know I don't long for people at all. I just go back for fun

Btw, Thanks guys for replying!


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Trust me no one starts an affair by thinking they are going to have an affair. They start by chatting with someone that shows them the attention they are looking for. An alcoholic doesnt start out with more than just a dink that makes him feel good.

I had an affair that began from chatting on line. I said the same things you did no harm no problems. You have taken step one towards harming your marriage. How far do you want to go down that path?

Beware Dorthy!!!


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## cowboyfan (Nov 15, 2009)

It sounds like you've already gotten a lot of good advice, but I'll add that my wife and I are currently 'recovering' from a harmless online friendship that turned into something much more. Be careful, talk to your husband about ALL of your online activity and make sure he understands why you're doing it, etc. If he's okay with it, have fun, but if he's anything like me I doubt he will be.


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