# Revenge !!



## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

OK heres my story.Been married for 10 years,together for 12.Our marriage has had its ups and downs as any marriage does.My wife had one affair about 5 years ago with an ex she hooked up with on face book it lasted about 6 months.He eventually moved out of state and dumped her like a piece of trash.I know she went physical with him but i also suspect there were others.Going through her face book messages she was messaging every ex boyfriend and guy friend she ever had.she says she just wanted to "catch up" and was "curious to how their lives turned out" ok innocent enough but why did she have to include her phone number with every message? i mean married women aren't supposed to send their number to multiple men over the internet right? Im talking at least 10 different guys she sent her phone number to.Some were ex boyfriends some were just friends or so she says.Going through her mobile phone she had guys numbers under fake names for example "pete" would be listed as "amber" and so on.I became quite the detective over the course of this madness.I made the mistake of confronting too soon out of anger and she deleted everything face book messages,phone numbers,text messages so i only have proof of the one affair and she wont admit to anything other than what i can prove.

went to three different marriage counsellors and they all had the same script..Move on,forgive and forget,move forward,its in the past.Totally sided with her and made me out to be the crazy one for not "getting over it". Long story short i decided to stay and reconcile because we have a 4 year old boy together (yes had a paternity test done and he is my child).I have an older child from a previous marriage and i didn't want to re live the years of family court,child support,weekend visits,etc . Also for financial reasons if i leave now i would literally lose everything my first wife already gets almost half my paycheck so i would literally be screwed.

5 years later and it still haunts me every day.I have my good days and my bad days.I have nightmares and hold a lot of resentment towards my wife.Were basically civil to each other and co exist.I go through the motions like a robot.I told her ill never love her as my wife again and she's more like a friend or room mate at this point. My main problem is that i know she's still not telling me the whole story and never will and i'm forbidden to talk about it.Im not seeing any real remorse on her part she just tells me what i want to hear to get me to shut up.I do still sleep with her once in a while when i get horny (hey why not) figured i'd throw that in there.

Ok about me.. i'm 41,in great shape,and am a pretty damn good looking guy or so i've been told.I have a job where i meet attractive women everyday.I get at least 3 phone numbers a week without even trying.I've slept with a'lot of women this past couple of years. its become almost an addiction to me fueled by revenge and anger towards my wife,coupled with a huge male ego and crushed pride.I tell any women that i hook up with that i'm in a bad marriage and i'm just looking for a sexual thing and most of them are more than fine with that.Also the last 2 women i slept with were MARRIED.Im not saying what i'm doing is right just want some thoughts and feedback,I guess as the old saying goes..if you cant beat em...join em


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

You might have got some sympathy with a single revenge affair, but as a serial cheater you'll get nearly none. 


> .I tell any women that i hook up with that i'm in a bad marriage and i'm just looking for a sexual thing and most of them are more than fine with that.


This is called blame shifting. There are people here whose spouses said the exact same thing, ruined friendships and even took out fake restraining orders to keep up the charade. At this point, you are contributing to the bad marriage. Get a divorce because this is long past "revenge," "pride" and crushed male ego.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

agreed..but judging by the mountain of evidence wouldn't you say that my wife was a "serial cheater" as well? Isn't whats good for the goose good for the gander ? Not looking for sympathy.


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## rrrbbbttt (Apr 6, 2011)

Never understood why people play Russian Roulette, always hurts the children and others that are left behind.


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## helolover (Aug 24, 2012)

So who exactly are you exacting revenge on? Your wife? Does she know you're cheating? If not, how are you exacting revenge? 

This seems counterproductive to your self-improvement. 

You're wasting time caught in a shyte-storm. A self-imposed shyte storm. 

Step out of this BS. You don't have to forget. You don't have to forgive. Just move foward. The marriage is over. You deserve better.

HL


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

No feelings for the betrayed husbands of the married women?


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

joseph242;9846194
My main problem is that i know she's still not telling me the whole story and never will and i'm forbidden to talk about it.
[/QUOTE said:


> There's the reason why you life is in turmoil. I quote "I'M FORBIDDEN TO TALK ABOUT IT."
> 
> That said it all right there. She cheats, you know she did, she knows she did, you are pretty sure that there was more than one guy and she no doubt has been with multiple guys and wont fess up and YOUR FORBIDDEN TO TALK ABOUT IT.
> 
> ...


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

There's a bridge in this story somewhere.........


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

sounds like you deserve each other.

enjoy.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

TBT said:


> No feelings for the betrayed husbands of the married women?


Yeah I feel horrible for the husbands of the married women who cheat after all I'm one of them !! I was a loving ,faithful husband before she destroyed our marriage.. Wanna talk about "blame shifting" how about how it was my fault that she cheated because I was working too much and didn't pay attention to her meanwhile her "jobless wonder" ex was there for her.. Believe me if I could financially do so and we didn't have a child I'd be long gone but I'm trapped .. We basically get along and co exist as long as im a good little bltch and keep my mouth shut so this is how I cope with it .. I told her the only way to save our marriage is to tell me the whole truth so I can get closure .. That ain't never gonna happen .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

How exactly does sleeping with another mans wife classify as revenge in your case? You sound worse than your wife. 

Maybe one of the bh will seek revenge upon you. Has that thought ever crossed your mind.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> agreed..but judging by the mountain of evidence wouldn't you say that my wife was a "serial cheater" as well? Isn't whats good for the goose good for the gander ? Not looking for sympathy.


It sounds like you found what there was to find. So no, I would not automatically say that she's a serial cheater. 

You are though by your own admission. 

You are also more than even now. One of these days she's going to find out and she's going to dump you most likely.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

workindad said:


> How exactly does sleeping with another mans wife classify as revenge in your case? You sound worse than your wife.
> 
> Maybe one of the bh will seek revenge upon you. Has that thought ever crossed your mind.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sure it has if they get caught .. Lol .. Brother I got news for you THEY ALL CHEAT !! Look at the thousands of threads on here and those are only the ones that get caught !! How many get away with it probably. 99% .. Never said what I'm doing is right by any means but it's how I cope .. Like I said if you can't beat em... Join em.. I'm done being a door mat
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> It sounds like you found what there was to find. So no, I would not automatically say that she's a serial cheater.
> 
> You are though by your own admission.
> 
> You are also more than even now. One of these days she's going to find out and she's going to dump you most likely.


Funny then why did she go and delete everything if she had nothing more to hide. ?? Why was she sending her phone number to multiple men over the internet?why were guys names listed under fake girls contacts ? She admitted to one but there were more . Where there's smoke there's usually fire ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TBT said:


> No feelings for the betrayed husbands of the married women?





joseph242 said:


> Yeah I feel horrible for the husbands of the married women who cheat after all I'm one of them !!
> 
> I was a loving ,faithful husband before she destroyed our marriage..


So you go out and help destroy the marriages of other men? That’s your solution to your own anger? I doubt that you feel awful for these men since you are cheating with their wives. You are actively hurting the men married to these women.



joseph242 said:


> Wanna talk about "blame shifting" how about how it was my fault that she cheated because I was working too much and didn't pay attention to her meanwhile her "jobless wonder" ex was there for her.. Believe me if I could financially do so and we didn't have a child I'd be long gone but I'm trapped .. We basically get along and co exist as long as im a good little bltch and keep my mouth shut so this is how I cope with it .. I told her the only way to save our marriage is to tell me the whole truth so I can get closure .. That ain't never gonna happen .


For all you know she has told you the truth. But that does not matter now because you have become at least as bad as she or worse. In order to save your marriage you would have to tell her the truth of what you have been doing as well.

Why not tell your wife to get a job and start moving on with your life? The longer you stay married to a woman who is dependent on you, the more trapped you become.

What a sorry way to live your life.


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

I feel sorry for your children. If you truly believe that your behavior and your wife's will not affect them, you are wrong.


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## Suspecting2014 (Jun 11, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> OK heres my story.Been married for 10 years,together for 12.Our marriage has had its ups and downs as any marriage does.My wife had one affair about 5 years ago with an ex she hooked up with on face book it lasted about 6 months.He eventually moved out of state and dumped her like a piece of trash.I know she went physical with him but i also suspect there were others.Going through her face book messages she was messaging every ex boyfriend and guy friend she ever had.she says she just wanted to "catch up" and was "curious to how their lives turned out" ok innocent enough but why did she have to include her phone number with every message? i mean married women aren't supposed to send their number to multiple men over the internet right? Im talking at least 10 different guys she sent her phone number to.Some were ex boyfriends some were just friends or so she says.Going through her mobile phone she had guys numbers under fake names for example "pete" would be listed as "amber" and so on.I became quite the detective over the course of this madness.I made the mistake of confronting too soon out of anger and she deleted everything face book messages,phone numbers,text messages so i only have proof of the one affair and she wont admit to anything other than what i can prove.
> 
> went to three different marriage counsellors and they all had the same script..Move on,forgive and forget,move forward,its in the past.Totally sided with her and made me out to be the crazy one for not "getting over it". Long story short i decided to stay and reconcile because we have a 4 year old boy together (yes had a paternity test done and he is my child).I have an older child from a previous marriage and i didn't want to re live the years of family court,child support,weekend visits,etc . Also for financial reasons if i leave now i would literally lose everything my first wife already gets almost half my paycheck so i would literally be screwed.
> 
> ...


Does she know u r cheating? Is she ok with it? Is she cheating? 
Do un care if she is cheating? 
Why dont u get an open marriage?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

You stayed purely for financial reasons, and so you wouldn't lose time with your son. Instead, what you are doing is teaching your son to be a terrible man, and making the financial problems ten times worse when the marriage finally does implode.

I feel terrible for your children, and for the families of the married women whose lives you are helping ruin.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> So you go out and help destroy the marriages of other men? That’s your solution to your own anger? I doubt that you feel awful for these men since you are cheating with their wives. You are actively hurting the men married to these women.
> 
> 
> For all you know she has told you the truth. But that does not matter now because you have become at least as bad as she or worse. In order to save your marriage you would have to tell her the truth of what you have been doing as well.
> ...


I agree it is a sorry way to live and not proud of it .. I don't go around chasing women they approach me .. I don't just sleep with married women .The last one was married and said she loves her husband and he's her best friend but she's not physically attracted to him anymore .. IM not the bad guy here my wife was cheating for years before I ever thought about it .. Trust me I would love to be single again.. I can't afford to leave .. My 1st wife already gets half of my paycheck .. I'd literally be homeless and working 70 hours a week no thanks ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> You stayed purely for financial reasons, and so you wouldn't lose time with your son. Instead, what you are doing is teaching your son to be a terrible man, and making the financial problems ten times worse when the marriage finally does implode.
> 
> I feel terrible for your children, and for the families of the married women whose lives you are helping ruin.


Good point I agree with you on the first part .. However I had 2 one night stands with 2 different married women .. if they were hell bent on cheating they were gonna do it anyways with me or with someone else .. THEY ALL CHEAT GUYS !! WHY ARE WE ALL HERE ???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Funny then why did she go and delete everything if she had nothing more to hide. ?? Why was she sending her phone number to multiple men over the internet?why were guys names listed under fake girls contacts ? She admitted to one but there were more . Where there's smoke there's usually fire ..


Well you were not smart enough to keep your cool and find out what was going on. So now you only have your imagination.

How many guys were there? How many of them live anywhere near where you live?

When I caught my husband cheating with several women I played it cool and did not confront him until I had most of the details about what he was doing. I even was able to get in contact with every one of the women and talk to them. Only then did I let him know that I knew what he was doing. 

He would only admit to things after I found them. So I finally told him that I will just assume the worst with every case and go forward with that belief. In a way that's what you have done.

How many of those men your wife contacted lived anywhere near you? 

You have also decided to extract revenge by being worse than your wife. It's funny to think that it's revenge because she does not even know you are doing it.

What I also find funny is that you say that you ignored your wife because you were so busy working. But now you have all the time in the world to run around and cheat on her. So apparently you had time for your wife.. you just chose to ignore her.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Well you were not smart enough to keep your cool and find out what was going on. So now you only have your imagination.
> 
> How many guys were there? How many of them live anywhere near where you live?
> 
> ...


Not exactly .. Back then I was helping a friend start a company and was working 90 hours a week .. I would work and sleep so we could save enough to buy a house. Funny how her jobless ex who just had gotten out of prison mind you was there for her how nice of him.. I have a job now where I work less 60 + hours a week so not so tired .. I really don't know how many guys she screwed I'll never know ..all I know is that she sent her phone number to at least 10 different guys and slept with one for 6 months .. But ok I guess it's all my fault talk about blame shifting .. I did tell her that I cheated all she said was "yeah I kinda figured you would ".. I really don't think she cares .. She is a very passive person and shows little emotion 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old is your child with your ex? How long were you married to your x?


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> How old is your child with your ex? How long were you married to your x?


I have a 20 year old son with my ex who I'm still paying child support to I was with her for 3 years.. I have a 4 year old son with my current wife ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Good point I agree with you on the first part .. However I had 2 one night stands with 2 different married women .. if they were hell bent on cheating they were gonna do it anyways with me or with someone else .. THEY ALL CHEAT GUYS !! WHY ARE WE ALL HERE ???


No, all women do not cheat. The numbers for men and women who cheat are below 50%, with men cheating at a slightly higher rate than women do.

There are women here too with husbands who cheat. It's not all men who are here. Get a grip already.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> I have a 20 year old son with my ex who I'm still paying child support to I was with her for 3 years.. I have a 4 year old son with my current wife ..


Why are you still paying child support for a 20 year old? That's very unusual. why is your child support 50% of your income. That's also does not fit the child support table for any state.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

I don't know how to say this without earning a Ban, but I'm going to attempt it. Normally I'm OK with Revenge Affairs and in in your case I would actually support it; your wife deserves it. However, having the Revenge Affairs with married women and inflicting the same pain you went through on other Betrayed Spouses makes you a special kind of Reprehensible Individual. I don't have words that can be used here to describe my disgust. 

Why don't you just get divorced and save everyone a lot of trouble.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> No, all women do not cheat. The numbers for men and women who cheat are below 50%, with men cheating at a slightly higher rate than women do.
> 
> There are women here too with husbands who cheat. It's not all men who are here. Get a grip already.


Oh PLEASE ... Where do they come up with those numbers my god !! Those are only the ones who admit it .. I'm gonna say 90% of all people cheat men and women to be fair .. And I bet most would if they were given the chance .. Ask yourselves this everybody ... How many of you on here whining and crying about being cheated on have done it yourselves ??? Yeah exactly .. Let's all get honest here ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> I don't know how to say this without earning a Ban, but I'm going to attempt it. Normally I'm OK with Revenge Affairs and in in your case I would actually support it; your wife deserves it. However, having the Revenge Affairs with married women and inflicting the same pain you went through on other Betrayed Spouses makes you a special kind of Reprehensible Individual. I don't have words that can be used here to describe my disgust.
> 
> Why don't you just get divorced and save everyone a lot of trouble.


Ok fair enough .. What if some super hot married chick approached you and said she wanted a purely sexual one time thing with you and you been through what I have which I'm pretty sure you have if you're on here .. Would you do it ? I'm not ruining anyone's life they approach me ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> IM not the bad guy here my wife was cheating for years before I ever thought about it ..


Yes, you are the bad guy here. Doesn't matter if the married woman chased you.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Ok fair enough .. What if some super hot married chick approached you and said she wanted a purely sexual one time thing with you and you been through what I have which I'm pretty sure you have if you're on here .. Would you do it ? I'm not ruining anyone's life they approach me ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm not "built that way".


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Why are you still paying child support for a 20 year old? That's very unusual. why is your child support 50% of your income. That's also does not fit the child support table for any state.


In my state it 21 no matter what .. They base it on 17% of your income but that's before taxes so it's really like 25 % .. I went a little overboard with half but it's still a lot of money and I couldn't afford to support 2 family's and myself .. I'd literally be homeless
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Yes, you are the bad guy here. Doesn't matter if the married woman chased you.


If you were approached by a super hot married woman who wanted a one night stand you wouldn't do it ? Then that probably puts you in the 1% of men who wouldn't .. I guess all you guys are morally superior to me ..my wife didn't think twice about doing it to me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> If you were approached by a super hot married woman who wanted a one night stand you wouldn't do it ? Then that probably puts you in the 1% of men who wouldn't .. I guess all you guys are morally superior to me ..my wife didn't think twice about doing it to me
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Is this your passive aggressive Red Herring way of saying this was untrue?


> just want some thoughts and feedback


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> If you were approached by a super hot married woman who wanted a one night stand you wouldn't do it ? Then that probably puts you in the 1% of men who wouldn't .. I guess all you guys are morally superior to me ..my wife didn't think twice about doing it to me
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


BTDT, except she wasn't married, but divorced. I was offered and I turned her down. My dad was a serial cheater and I'd already been cheated on by my first wife.

I refuse to become the POSOM I despise.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> In my state it 21 no matter what .. They base it on 17% of your income but that's before taxes so it's really like 25 % .. I went a little overboard with half but it's still a lot of money and I couldn't afford to support 2 family's and myself .. I'd literally be homeless


What is your state?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> In my state it 21 no matter what .. They base it on 17% of your income but that's before taxes so it's really like 25 % .. I went a little overboard with half but it's still a lot of money and I couldn't afford to support 2 family's and myself .. I'd literally be homeless
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So you live in either the District of Columbia, Mississippi, New York, or Puerto Rico.

Termination of Child Support- Age of Majority


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> If you were approached by a super hot married woman who wanted a one night stand you wouldn't do it ? Then that probably puts you in the 1% of men who wouldn't .. I guess all you guys are morally superior to me ..my wife didn't think twice about doing it to me


Since you have women approaching you all the time for sex you must have had them doing this all along. I guess you were not turning them down either... before you found out that your wife cheated.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

Maybe the married woman's husband you are bragging about will exact revenge on you. We can only hope.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Since you have women approaching you all the time for sex you must have had them doing this all along. I guess you were not turning them down either... before you found out that your wife cheated.


She cheated before I did .. I never even thought about it before I found out she did .. I even stayed faithful for a while after I found out .. Went to marriage counseling and got nowhere .. I started a new job where I meet a lot of women every day . I know I said it's for revenge but at the end of the day I know it's wrong and it doesn't feel any better ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

X-Betaman said:


> Maybe the married woman's husband you are bragging about will exact revenge on you. We can only hope.


Yeah funny man .. I'm sure I'm not the only guy she's chased after and you would have done the same I'm sure .. Also where was I bragging about it ?boy I guess I've found the holier than thou club !! Maybe I'll just go back to being a spineless little bltch and do nothing about it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> In my state it 21 no matter what .. They base it on 17% of your income but that's before taxes so it's really like 25 % .. I went a little overboard with half but it's still a lot of money and I couldn't afford to support 2 family's and myself .. I'd literally be homeless
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Your paying child support from your first marriage for another year then that obligation will be done. You will no longer be supporting 2 households as you say. 

Are you planning on filing for divorce then?


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Op, 

My hubs ow had just gone through her hubbby cheating on her, when they cheated on me. That was one of the hardest things to deal with as she knew what it felt like, and he, hubby was there for her.

Whatever you want to do is your call, but just dont hook up with married, bc you do know what it feels like, pretty shi**y,huh? 

~sammy


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> She cheated before I did .. I never even thought about it before I found out she did .. I even stayed faithful for a while after I found out .. Went to marriage counseling and got nowhere .. I started a new job where I meet a lot of women every day . I know I said it's for revenge but at the end of the day I know it's wrong and it doesn't feel any better ..


She might have cheated before you. But you took her back. And then you chose to cheat. So you are really not any better than your wife. It also sounds like the amount you are cheating to far more than anything she did.

You have some choices now....

continue as you are. It's a pretty sad way to live.

Stop and try to make your marriage work. Tell your wife what you have been up to and the two of you find a way to fix your marriage. Believe it or not it's possible.

or divorce. Child support for your older child will be done in a year. So divorce, fight for 50% custody and move on.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> She cheated before I did .. I never even thought about it before I found out she did .. I even stayed faithful for a while after I found out .. Went to marriage counseling and got nowhere


This is where you divorce not ruin another person's marriage.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

So you are only staying for your child? Then why are you working 60+ hours a week and spending even more time bedding other women? If your child was so important to you wouldn't you be finding a way to be home more and spend less time in motel rooms?


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

If I understand your timeline correctly You got your wife pregnant about 3 months after you found out she was cheating on you. Is that correct?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

You and your wife are both amoral boneheads. 

I feel so sorry for that kid. You are setting him up for a life of misery and you and that worthless wife of yours don't even seem to give a rat's ass.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bfree said:


> So you are only staying for your child? Then why are you working 60+ hours a week and spending even more time bedding other women? If your child was so important to you wouldn't you be finding a way to be home more and spend less time in motel rooms?


He's not staying for his child. He's staying so he won't have to pay child support.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Yeah funny man .. I'm sure I'm not the only guy she's chased after and you would have done the same I'm sure .. Also where was I bragging about it ?boy I guess I've found the holier than thou club !! Maybe I'll just go back to being a spineless little bltch and do nothing about it


Cheating just makes you as wrong as your wife. It's not doing something about your failed marriage. It's just using it as an excuse to behave very badly.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Oh PLEASE ... Where do they come up with those numbers my god !! Those are only the ones who admit it .. I'm gonna say 90% of all people cheat men and women to be fair .. And I bet most would if they were given the chance .. Ask yourselves this everybody ... How many of you on here whining and crying about being cheated on have done it yourselves ??? Yeah exactly .. Let's all get honest here ..


You are wrong with what you think the % of cheating is.

But... let's assume for a minute that you are right. if 90% of the people cheat then that means that you believe that most people cheat. So why does it bother you if you wife cheats since that's what you think that most people do?


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## user_zero (Aug 30, 2013)

I read every post of OP. and I'm wondering why he's here. I mean what's the point of this thread. he's using his own child as an excuse of being married to his wife. he's using his wife's behavior as an excuse for screwing with other people's lives. and every single post of his is written in a way that gets the most emotional reaction from other posters.

I'm not accusing anyone. I'm just saying what I'm seeing.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

So you are not the bad guy and women just come up to you and you bed them.

I have had women come up to me for sex and I never went there. And yeas my wife cheated on me.

Most of the guys I have known in the Army and in other areas of life just don't go there.

I agree with Bandit, you are both boneheads and your kids will turn out the same.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

“Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.” 
― St. Augustine of Hippo





.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

bfree said:


> So you are only staying for your child? Then why are you working 60+ hours a week and spending even more time bedding other women? If your child was so important to you wouldn't you be finding a way to be home more and spend less time in motel rooms?


OK maybe I'm being misunderstood .. Over the past. 2 years I've maybe been with 4 women . Had 2 one night stands and 2 girls that I would maybe see once every couple of weeks . It not like I'm out screwing a different girl every night in a hotel room ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> She might have cheated before you. But you took her back. And then you chose to cheat. So you are really not any better than your wife. It also sounds like the amount you are cheating to far more than anything she did.
> 
> You have some choices now....
> 
> ...


I plan on stopping this behavior your right it is a horrible way of life . I thought it would make me feel better but it doesn't .. I would like to ultimately see the marriage work I just wish I wasn't forbidden to bring up the past because it eats me alive every day .. My wife is the ultimate rug sweeper .. I'm sure she knows what I'm doing but she would rather not confront it.. Just like she won't confront what she did ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

honcho said:


> Your paying child support from your first marriage for another year then that obligation will be done. You will no longer be supporting 2 households as you say.
> 
> Are you planning on filing for divorce then?


Yes that is a good possibility ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

workindad said:


> If I understand your timeline correctly You got your wife pregnant about 3 months after you found out she was cheating on you. Is that correct?


She had her affair with her prison boy ex .. Spring/summer of 2009 . I found out much later by accident via facebook/text messages.. Had paternity test done and he is my child but I'm sure that could have gone either way .. She chilled out when she was pregnant then was once again trolling for men on the internet in 2011 ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

user_zero said:


> I read every post of OP. and I'm wondering why he's here. I mean what's the point of this thread. he's using his own child as an excuse of being married to his wife. he's using his wife's behavior as an excuse for screwing with other people's lives. and every single post of his is written in a way that gets the most emotional reaction from other posters.
> 
> I'm not accusing anyone. I'm just saying what I'm seeing.


Originally just wanted to get some input on revenge affairs especially from the men here .. I figured I would get a better response . I mean were all here because we got screwed over right ? Our spouses ripped our marriages,family's, and hearts into pieces and show no remorse well at least my wife doesn't . I realize now that it's spiraled out of control . It was just my way of dealing with the situation .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> You are wrong with what you think the % of cheating is.
> 
> But... let's assume for a minute that you are right. if 90% of the people cheat then that means that you believe that most people cheat. So why does it bother you if you wife cheats since that's what you think that most people do?


I never thought that way before but after this experience I think differently .. She told me that "she was so against cheating" and it represents everything she's against .. And then she does it .. She would NEVER do that to me .. And then I see married women hitting on me constantly I've slept with 2 but probably could have slept with 10 if I wanted .. So that's just my experience with married women .. This experience has changed me and my whole outlook on life and people in general .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## user_zero (Aug 30, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Originally just wanted to get some input on revenge affairs especially from the men here .. I figured I would get a better response . I mean were all here because we got screwed over right ? Our spouses ripped our marriages,family's, and hearts into pieces and show no remorse well at least my wife doesn't . I realize now that it's spiraled out of control . It was just my way of dealing with the situation .
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


you know the funny/sad thing is that what you describe about your wife is actually is description of yourself. YOU are screwing people. YOU are ripping marriages, families , hearts. and as far I (and every one else) can tell you have no real remorse for it. in fact YOU are even a bigger "ultimate rug sweeper" compare to your wife.

I hope you don't take offense at this. there is an extreme sense of immaturity in your posts, in the way you're "handling" your "situation". there is a book named "little prince : The Problem of the Puer Aeternus" by "Dr Marie-Louise von Franz" that I recommend to you. what has been described there fits you word by word.

talk with a psychiatrist , therapist , ... or whatever you can get your hands on. the way you're dealing with your situation isn't healthy or human by any stretch of standards.

Good Luck


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> I never thought that way before but after this experience I think differently .. She told me that "she was so against cheating" and it represents everything she's against .. And then she does it .. She would NEVER do that to me .. And then I see married women hitting on me constantly I've slept with 2 but probably could have slept with 10 if I wanted .. So that's just my experience with married women .. This experience has changed me and my whole outlook on life and people in general .


Yea, well my husbands also swore that they would never cheat. That did not stop them. People often do not realize what they are capable of until they are faced with whatever throws them over the edge. 

Before this whole thing happened, how many married women were hitting on you? We tend to find what we are looking for when it comes to stuff like this. People who are looking to hook up put out a vibe. 70% of human communication is non-verbal.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Just want to comment then I'm out.

The worst person is the one who knowingly inflicts the same pain that was inflicted on him towards somebody else.

Your wife cheated and broke your heart. Now you're cheating and destroying not one but two or three men's hearts.

That's all.


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Oh PLEASE ... .. Ask yourselves this everybody ... How many of you on here whining and crying about being cheated on have done it yourselves ??? Yeah exactly .. Let's all get honest here ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


FKsakes !

I like many many others have no need to ask myself. When I was with mystbx I was never on the lookout for revenge affairs sex etc etc just completely dismayed and destroyed by realizing the person I gave 15 yrs of my life to was not the person I thought.

The last thing I thought of was taking it out on 'woman' globally or other 'husbands' globally

You have some serious issues if you think that 

a/ that sorts your life out and 
b/ that everyone is thinking like you 

:scratchhead:


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Originally just wanted to get some input on revenge affairs especially from the men here .. *I figured I would get a better response *. I mean were all here because we got screwed over right ? Our spouses ripped our marriages,family's, and hearts into pieces and show no remorse well at least my wife doesn't . I realize now that it's spiraled out of control . It was just my way of dealing with the situation .
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Incredulous

So just fill me in here on what a "better response" would mean? What exactly is this better response you talk of then. 

Tell us what form a "better response" would be?

I'm genuinely interested ..go on


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

ok well i know im gonna get nailed to the cross for this one but here it goes.I thought that maybe i would be a hero of sorts to some of my fellow men on here .were all here for the same reason ,we have all been betrayed.I remember the sleepless nights,severe depression,not being able to eat,spending hours going through computer files and cell phone records trying to find any shred of evidence to the point of absolute madness,literally breaking down in tears at work everyday,and basically wanting to die..sound familiar? yeah we all been through it or are going through it thats why were all here.

my wife's refusal to discuss this situation is driving me mad.Her attitude is" its over and done so lets move forward and thats it"If i bring it up she flips out.like i said the subject is off limits .I still think about it constantly,and have nightmares..in a true R,she would be honest with me and tell me everything that happened but she wont,and i would forgive her if she would just tell me the truth.I can never have any closure to this situation under these circumstances.

so i decided to give her a taste of her own medicine,it was my way of dealing with the pain.But you know what it didn't work because i feel worse than i did before and i've become a cheater myself. I realize now that my behavior sucks and i been hurting people, so i'm gonna stop i know its not right.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> Yeah funny man .. I'm sure I'm not the only guy she's chased after and you would have done the same I'm sure .. Also where was I bragging about it ?boy I guess I've found the holier than thou club !! Maybe I'll just go back to being a spineless little bltch and do nothing about it
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What you're really doing is just scattering out a bunch of excuses and exaggerations hoping something will stick, so you can feel better about what you're doing.

You're wrong about your infidelity figures.
You're wrong if you think the majority of the posters on this forum are also cheaters.
You exaggerate the financial impact of divorce.
You're wrong about how many men would turn down these "proposals".

You don't have to be spineless at all. You could choose to be strong and responsible, end your marriage, and keep your hands off the wives of other men. Leave this woman that crapped on you, and chase all the single broads you want. You're just like the OM that started this problem in the first place. You claim if it weren't you, it would be someone else? Pure childish refusal to admit your mistakes.

It may be too much to hope for, but doing things the right way is always honorable. You've completely tossed your honor aside, and may never get it back. How does that feel?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

So if your really want to express your revenge you should tell your wife....after all isn't this against her actions to begin with....so rub her face into it....tell her everything and then you guys can both rug sweep it together....ultimately isn't that you really want to do....and what do you think her reaction will be? And since you have gone that far perhaps opening your relationship will at least bring some balance to you marriage....but I suspect your wife will go ballistic and she will divorce you....


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Do you love your wife at any level? Do you want to?

When you have gotten laid and gone home happy, did your wife notice?

Do your revenge affairs stimulate desire on her part? I know she does explicitly know, but when you smelling of adventure does she jump your bone?

When you scrèw your wife does she enjoy it?

Do you feel that you have have sex with her to prevent her cheating?

If either of you fell I'll with, say, cancer would you be their for each other?

Read MMSLP.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Xenote said:


> So if your really want to express your revenge you should tell your wife....after all isn't this against her actions to begin with....so rub her face into it....tell her everything and then you guys can both rug sweep it together....ultimately isn't that you really want to do....and what do you think her reaction will be? And since you have gone that far perhaps opening your relationship will at least bring some balance to you marriage....but I suspect your wife will go ballistic and she will divorce you....


I told her that I cheated on her for revenge.. No details she didn't want any.. She just said "I figured you would probably do that" that's just how she is .. She doesn't seem to care and shows very little emotion towards anything . Where I'm the total opposite .. She just wants to move forward and forget the past ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Ok people we could go on for an eternity here so I'd like to end this thread .. I reached out to TAM and got some good advice ,although a little harsh at times I guess I had it coming. I know my behavior has been terrible and I handled things in the wrong way . My plans are to try and salvage my marriage and I'm not going to have any more "revenge" affairs.I told my wife this morning i will tell her everything if she does the same .. Her response" why are we still talking about this?"so she's obviously not interested .. So I'll chalk it up as a learning experience and know now what not to do .. Thank you all for giving me a different perspective on what I was doing .. I know I was wrong and I'm not proud of it .. I guess "revenge" isn't all it's cracked up to be..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Ok people we could go on for an eternity here so I'd like to end this thread .. I reached out to TAM and got some good advice ,although a little harsh at times I guess I had it coming. I know my behavior has been terrible and I handled things in the wrong way . My plans are to try and salvage my marriage and I'm not going to have any more "revenge" affairs.I told my wife this morning i will tell her everything if she does the same .. Her response" why are we still talking about this?"so she's obviously not interested .. So I'll chalk it up as a learning experience and know now what not to do .. Thank you all for giving me a different perspective on what I was doing .. I know I was wrong and I'm not proud of it .. I guess "revenge" isn't all it's cracked up to be..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*BOOM there it is!!!*:lol::scratchhead:

Boxed, wrapped and tied in a bow in one night! Awesome, this could easily been a three week thread. Now back under the bridge.


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

HarryDoyle said:


> *BOOM there it is!!!*:lol::scratchhead:
> 
> Boxed, wrapped and tied in a bow in one night! Awesome, this could easily been a three week thread. Now back under the bridge.



Ain't that the truth :smthumbup:


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

HarryDoyle said:


> *BOOM there it is!!!*:lol::scratchhead:
> 
> Boxed, wrapped and tied in a bow in one night! Awesome, this could easily been a three week thread. Now back under the bridge.


it could easily have been  there's tower bridge, London bridge , Albert bridge , this one must live under Revenge bridge!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Ok people we could go on for an eternity here so I'd like to end this thread .. I reached out to TAM and got some good advice ,although a little harsh at times I guess I had it coming. I know my behavior has been terrible and I handled things in the wrong way . My plans are to try and salvage my marriage and I'm not going to have any more "revenge" affairs.I told my wife this morning i will tell her everything if she does the same .. Her response" why are we still talking about this?"so she's obviously not interested .. So I'll chalk it up as a learning experience and know now what not to do .. Thank you all for giving me a different perspective on what I was doing .. I know I was wrong and I'm not proud of it .. I guess "revenge" isn't all it's cracked up to be..


One of the major reasons that you wife will not open up about her affair(s) is that she does not have to. She knows that you will stay with her no matter what happens.

If you want to fix this very broken marriage you two have, there are some books that I think will really help both of you, they are all written by Dr. Harley.

"Surviving an Affair"
"His Needs, Her Needs"
"Love Busters"

Read them together and work on the things they say to work on together. Tell her that if she is not willing to do these things then the marriage is over and be ready to follow through. Your have let her put you over a barrel with your refusal even consider divorce. She has to know that she has something to lose if she does not work with you fix your marriage.

You two do not have the skills needed to fix this on your own. So the books are a good resource. A very good marriage counselor would be a good idea too.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> ok well i know im gonna get nailed to the cross for this one but here it goes.I thought that maybe i would be a hero of sorts to some of my fellow men on here .were all here for the same reason ,we have all been betrayed.I remember the sleepless nights,severe depression,not being able to eat,spending hours going through computer files and cell phone records trying to find any shred of evidence to the point of absolute madness,literally breaking down in tears at work everyday,and basically wanting to die..sound familiar? yeah we all been through it or are going through it thats why were all here.


Dude, I didn't critize your decision to have revenge affairs; In fact, I applaud it. But by sleeping with married women, you reduced yourself to a sleeze ball who is no better than your wayward wife. Understand the difference!


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

If you dont want to be seen as spineless stop stooping to your wife's level and using a 4 year old as an excuse for not having the spine to leave your marriage. I doubt seeing you two being together is doing him any favors.

You thought you'd be seen as a hero here? Dude, not even remotely close.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Ok people we could go on for an eternity here so I'd like to end this thread .. I reached out to TAM and got some good advice ,although a little harsh at times I guess I had it coming. I know my behavior has been terrible and I handled things in the wrong way . My plans are to try and salvage my marriage and I'm not going to have any more "revenge" affairs.I told my wife this morning i will tell her everything if she does the same .. Her response" why are we still talking about this?"so *she's obviously not interested *.. So I'll chalk it up as a learning experience and know now what not to do .. Thank you all for giving me a different perspective on what I was doing .. I know I was wrong and I'm not proud of it .. I guess "revenge" isn't all it's cracked up to be..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OK unlike everyone else here, I do not think that you have been cheating on your wife .... because you do not have a relationship here or even a wife, so to speak - just a live in roommate.

However, sleeping with other married women is wrong. Their husbands do not deserve your cooperation in helping their wives to cheat. You know the pain it causes first hand - why would you do that to someone else.

And why are you not divorced yet ? None of this is healthy - living with someone who doesn't care about anything to do with you. Your son will pick up on this and get the wrong ideas about life.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> OK maybe I'm being misunderstood .. Over the past. 2 years I've maybe been with 4 women . Had 2 one night stands and 2 girls that I would maybe see once every couple of weeks . It not like I'm out screwing a different girl every night in a hotel room ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh I see, minimizing. Okay let me take your post and maximize the disgust.

50% of your cheating is with married women.



> I thought that maybe i would be a hero of sorts to some of my fellow men on here .were all here for the same reason ,we have all been betrayed.I remember the sleepless nights,severe depression,not being able to eat,spending hours going through computer files and cell phone records trying to find any shred of evidence to the point of absolute madness,literally breaking down in tears at work everyday,and basically wanting to die..sound familiar?


 No hero of mine is going to put another person through their misery.



> yeah we all been through it or are going through it thats why were all here.


Actually no, not everyone has gone through it who posts here. Heck, some are actually reformed cheaters like you.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Oh I see, minimizing. Okay let me take your post and maximize the disgust.
> 
> 50% of your cheating is with married women.


One could wonder why you have to resort to bedding married women. One could wonder if they are just more desperate and willing to settle. One could wonder if the single women are blowing you off because you aren't worth their time.

Friend, even when I was divorced and screwing everything with two legs I wouldn't tap a married woman. A man has to have some honor...and standards.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

this guys is a troll...he is clearly flame baiting



> Ok about me.. i'm 41,in great shape,and am a pretty damn good looking guy or so i've been told.I have a job where i meet attractive women everyday.I get at least 3 phone numbers a week without even trying





> i know im gonna get nailed to the cross for this one but here it goes.I thought that maybe i would be a hero of sorts to some of my fellow men on here





> IM not the bad guy here my wife was cheating for years before I ever thought about it ..


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

The thread started off ridiculous. It's a nice divergence from the current "who has da real clique" and "who's ruining TAM" fights occurring all over CWI.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

bfree said:


> One could wonder why you have to resort to bedding married women. One could wonder if they are just more desperate and willing to settle. One could wonder if the single women are blowing you off because you aren't worth their time.
> 
> Friend, even when I was divorced and screwing everything with two legs I wouldn't tap a married woman. A man has to have some honor...and standards.


Ok I'm back .. Said I was done but I'll bite .. First of all I don't go around targeting married women they Chase me .. This last girl I slept with yes she was married and hell bent on having sex with me .. I talked to her about it and she said she was 100% sure it's what she wanted .. Yeah of course now I feel like a scumbag but I'm sure I wasn't her first and I won't be the last guy she cheats with. How about the girl before her? She wasn't married but had a boyfriend does that count ? 

Guys don't you see ? I'm not the problem here .. The other men who screwed my wife are not the problem here .. It's these unfaithful women who go **** chasing are the problem.. There will always be some horny guy waiting in the wings you can count on that .. Hate me if you want but at least I'm being honest and telling it like it is .. I'm not gonna sugar coat anything because it's called the REALITY of the world we live in..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> this guys is a troll...he is clearly flame baiting


Really man a troll ? If you want I have a thread somewhere on here from a few years ago called"dazed and confused" that has all the gory details of my wife's cheating if you're so inclined to take a look into the hell she put me through ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

You took your medicine pretty well earlier, I thought. I do get your point here, too.

Still, I have to maintain that a man without honor is not a real man. Very out of favor, and hardly matters in this century, but that's the way I roll. (get it -- old fashioned, and new phony hip all rolled into one smart comment?)

Why don't you tell these broads how their husbands must feel. Ask them why they gotta be the skank?


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Forest said:


> You took your medicine pretty well earlier, I thought. I do get your point here, too.
> 
> Still, I have to maintain that a man without honor is not a real man. Very out of favor, and hardly matters in this century, but that's the way I roll. (get it -- old fashioned, and new phony hip all rolled into one smart comment?)
> 
> Why don't you tell these broads how their husbands must feel. Ask them why they gotta be the skank?


Mr forest I will tell you that in my opinion the biggest group of cheaters out there are .. MARRIED WOMEN!! By far I don't know why they do it .. Here's an example one woman who is a teller at my bank a very attractive blonde late 30 s and married of course hits on me every Friday when I go to the bank .. Her husband is in the construction business and is out of town all week .. She gave me her phone number and we texted .. She openly stated that she wants to get a hotel room and have sex.. Anytime she said .. I haven't by the way I don't know why i just didn't bother with that one but my point is that you would be amazed by the number of unfaithful wives there are out there I'm convinced that most of them do it at some point.. I mean were all here on TAM right ??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> Mr forest I will tell you that in my opinion the biggest group of cheaters out there are .. MARRIED WOMEN!! By far I don't know why they do it .. Here's an example one woman who is a teller at my bank a very attractive blonde late 30 s and married of course hits on me every Friday when I go to the bank .. Her husband is in the construction business and is out of town all week .. She gave me her phone number and we texted .. She openly stated that she wants to get a hotel room and have sex.. Anytime she said .. I haven't by the way I don't know why i just didn't bother with that one but my point is that you would be amazed by the number of unfaithful wives there are out there I'm convinced that most of them do it at some point.. I mean were all here on TAM right ??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I think we're just different types. I wouldn't hit on a married woman the same way that I wouldn't shoplift, cheat in sports, show up late for work, or cry at a wedding. 

A John Wayne line from The Shootist:
“I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.”

Possibly corny, but I aspire to live that way. I've already tried to get the POSOM in my case to face me. He's 100% coward, refuses, yet we both know if I get an opening he's either going to have to fight or run.

That's another reason I wouldn't touch another man's wife. I grew up with a "Gimme Three Steps" outlook on that kind of stuff.

Anyway, my position is clear. 

(re-edit) On the other hand, if I'm ever in your town, maybe we could stop off at The Jug, and you can introduce me to some Linda-Lou's.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Ok I'm back .. Said I was done but I'll bite .. First of all I don't go around targeting married women they Chase me


Of course they do. It still doesn't stop you from saying no. 



> Guys don't you see ? I'm not the problem here .. The other men who screwed my wife are not the problem here


This is called hypocrisy and you have also used a logical fallacy. You just said the guys who helped your wife cheat are not the problem." You just helped two women cheat, by your own criteria mentioned above, YOU ARE not the problem. Yet, the women who cheat are the problem. As I said, all the men can say no in your example. 

She's a cheater and so are you.

Oops. The fallacy is called special pleading. 
It when you set up a criteria and then exclude yourself.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Ok I'm back .. Said I was done but I'll bite .. First of all I don't go around targeting married women they Chase me .. This last girl I slept with yes she was married and hell bent on having sex with me .. I talked to her about it and she said she was 100% sure it's what she wanted .. Yeah of course now I feel like a scumbag but I'm sure I wasn't her first and I won't be the last guy she cheats with. How about the girl before her? She wasn't married but had a boyfriend does that count ?
> 
> Guys don't you see ? I'm not the problem here .. The other men who screwed my wife are not the problem here .. It's these unfaithful women who go **** chasing are the problem.. There will always be some horny guy waiting in the wings you can count on that .. Hate me if you want but at least I'm being honest and telling it like it is .. I'm not gonna sugar coat anything because it's called the REALITY of the world we live in..


My you are such a stud muffin aren't you? Everywhere you go married women are chasing after you for sex??? REALLY??? :rofl:

We can get a sanity check here pretty easily because the men who post here can tell us how often they are hit on by married women in their daily lives.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Mr forest I will tell you that in my opinion the biggest group of cheaters out there are .. MARRIED WOMEN!! By far I don't know why they do it .. Here's an example one woman who is a teller at my bank a very attractive blonde late 30 s and married of course hits on me every Friday when I go to the bank .. Her husband is in the construction business and is out of town all week .. She gave me her phone number and we texted .. She openly stated that she wants to get a hotel room and have sex.. Anytime she said .. I haven't by the way I don't know why i just didn't bother with that one but my point is that you would be amazed by the number of unfaithful wives there are out there I'm convinced that most of them do it at some point.. I mean were all here on TAM right ??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So you're saying if you can't beat them...join them?

Imagine if the proud and noble people of Great Britain had said that during the Nazi bliztkrieg? Maybe we'd all be goose stepping and eating schnitzel?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

bfree said:


> So you're saying if you can't beat them...join them?


He's already said it twice:



joseph242 said:


> I guess as the old saying goes..if you cant beat em...join em





joseph242 said:


> Like I said if you can't beat em... Join em.. I'm done being a door mat
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He's just excusing it now.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> My you are such a stud muffin aren't you? Everywhere you go married women are chasing after you for sex??? REALLY??? :rofl:
> 
> We can get a sanity check here pretty easily because the men who post here can tell us how often they are hit on by married women in their daily lives.


Ok ms elegirl if you must know it's true and I'm not making it up .. Why would I ? It's not just married women either I'm a package delivery driver and I go to different places every day on different routes . I meet a lot of different women every day .. I'm a good looking guy and have and outgoing personality. I usually get a couple phone numbers everyday . Some are married some are single I don't call every girl that gives me their number either .. I don't go looking for it they come to me . I won't lie I do love the attention like most people would .. But like I said I'm gonna stop this crap and work on marriage ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

bfree said:


> *So you're saying if you can't beat them...join them?*
> 
> Imagine if the proud and noble people of Great Britain had said that during the Nazi bliztkrieg? Maybe we'd all be goose stepping and eating schnitzel?


Might the mind frame the married women he's sleeping with has (have no idea what there marriages are like).
So I guess they might not be the problem either :scratchhead:


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> outgoing personality.


Ah so you are flirt, but don't consider that "looking" or "chasing."

Gotcha.

Good luck.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Guys don't you see ? *I'm not the problem here .. The other men who screwed my wife are not the problem here .. *It's these unfaithful women who go **** chasing are the problem.. There *will always be some horny guy waiting in the wings you can count on that .. *Hate me if you want but at least I'm being honest and telling it like it is .. I'm not gonna sugar coat anything because it's called the REALITY of the world we live in..


I just re-read this and something else popped out at me.

Many of those men are married men who are cheating on their wives. So yes those men are a problem too. 

You seem to think that it's ok for men to cheat on their wives and it's only wrong when women cheat. Nice way to rationalize.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Ah so you are flirt, but don't consider that "looking" or "chasing."
> 
> Gotcha.
> 
> Good luck.


Yes sir I am a flirt .. I decided to stop being my wife's doormat after years if torture and it doesn't just pertain to getting laid either .. I've taken up hobbies and interests outside the house and the marriage .. Every Tuesday on my day off I take my son fishing,I work out at the gym everyday and am into bodybuilding. I have taken up playing the guitar and take lessons, Just little things to start enjoying my life.. And if a pretty girl gives me her phone number then maybe I'll call her ..my wife never thought twice about giving out her number to numerous men until she got busted.. Who knows she may still be doing it for all I know I really don't even care anymore she's probably just being sneakier about it .. She just went on a cross country trip with her sister a few weeks ago do you think I care anymore what she does ? I'm my own man now and it feels pretty damn good .. Women hate needy,clingy,loving guys .. They want a challenge , they love confidence , hence the bad boy syndrome.. That's why nice guys finish last .. I'm done being the nice guy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Yes sir I am a flirt


Thanks, it negates this comment.


> I don't go looking for it they come to me


So, you do try to engage these women.




> done being a door mat.




What you are doing has nothing to do with "being a doormat," but keep saying it and someone will finally agree with you. Then we can get 100 hundred more posts of you two "high fivin" each other and ignoring the rest of the comments.

Oops you edited your post. Oh well, point stands no matter how much you blame you wife for your terrible actions.

Oh and I find it funny you state "they come to me," but you are a delivery driver. 



> It's not just married women either I'm a package delivery driver and* I go to different places every day on different routes . I meet a lot of different women every day *.. I meet a lot of different women every day .. I'm a good looking guy and have and outgoing personality. *I usually get a couple phone numbers everyday *. Some are married some are single I don't call every girl that gives me their number either


.:lol:


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Hahaha :rofl:

Now you 're turning into a comedy act - a good one mind 

Brilliant.

Keep going


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Headspin said:


> Hahaha :rofl:
> 
> Now you 're turning into a comedy act - a good one mind
> 
> ...


Really ? A comedy act ? How so I don't get you're comment ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cuchulain36 (Jul 8, 2014)

I don't see how you can reconcile sleeping with married women knowing the pain it has caused you TWICE. It's one thing to be ignorant of it, but you actually know full well the damage you're doing and are actively engaging in it. It's insane and to be honest if this story is true and not just made up to boost your ego on the Internet, you're a pretty bad person, a very bad person really.

I may take a lover since my wife and I are on the outs and she has cheated multiple times, but I would never break up a family and have an affair with a married woman.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

cuchulain36 said:


> I don't see how you can reconcile sleeping with married women knowing the pain it has caused you TWICE. It's one thing to be ignorant of it, but you actually know full well the damage you're doing and are actively engaging in it. It's insane and to be honest if this story is true and not just made up to boost your ego on the Internet, you're a pretty bad person, a very bad person really.
> 
> I may take a lover since my wife and I are on the outs and she has cheated multiple times, but I would never break up a family and have an affair with a married woman.


Using a single woman for your own reasons is not a lot better.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Hey you know what guys .. Go ahead and pick on me all you want if it really makes you feel better about yourselves.. Maybe it's hard for you to believe that an attractive guy and women gravitate towards me but it's the truth. I'm not proud of the choices I've made and yes I'm ashamed of my actions .. Maybe I'm being brutally honest and putting a different spin on things .. Maybe it's time some of you started living your lives .. Yeah we have all been through hell .. That's why we're all here on TAM . Maybe I'm the "villain"or the "heel" to some of you people but In mind I'm really not I'm just a man who stood up for himself .. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cuchulain36 (Jul 8, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Using a single woman for your own reasons is not a lot better.


It's absolutely a lot better, a single woman or man is not committed and a family with children aren't involved, it's like 1000 times better.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Joseph, in your last thread "Dazed And Confused", you said that you had absolutely no proof that any of her EA's had gone physical and that your wife even passed a poly "with flying colours" although you didn't know any of the questions asked and were sent out of the room during the poly.

Now in this thread you say you know for sure that she had a physical affair 5 years ago.

How and when did you find this out since your last thread ? What did you find ? Does she know what you found ?


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

manfromlamancha said:


> Joseph, in your last thread "Dazed And Confused", you said that you had absolutely no proof that any of her EA's had gone physical and that your wife even passed a poly "with flying colours" although you didn't know any of the questions asked and were sent out of the room during the poly.
> 
> Now in this thread you say you know for sure that she had a physical affair 5 years ago.
> 
> How and when did you find this out since your last thread ? What did you find ? Does she know what you found ?


Yes thanks for reading that by the way .. The polygraph was a scam. I finally got her to admit she was sleeping with her one ex boyfriend .I also got her to admit to her contacting several other men besides the 3 I already knew about ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

cuchulain36 said:


> It's absolutely a lot better, a single woman or man is not committed and a family with children aren't involved, it's like 1000 times better.


What do you tell the single woman? That you just want someone to screw 'cause you are no happy in your marriage? Are you honest with her? Or do you lead her on to believe that you love her and will leave your wife?

It's not nice to use people ... even single people.


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## cuchulain36 (Jul 8, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> What do you tell the single woman? That you just want someone to screw 'cause you are no happy in your marriage? Are you honest with her? Or do you lead her on to believe that you love her and will leave your wife?
> 
> It's not nice to use people ... even single people.


I get that, but it's still much better than destroying a marriage and family, messing up kids and making them anxiety ridden for life and depressed. Two consenting adults doing what they do even if immoral is much better than cheating with a married woman and destroying a husband and messing up the kids life.

I've never cheated on my wife and wouldn't, I would take a lover if we opened up our marriage because our marriage is basically just a formality at this point. I would tell the single woman I like her but I wouldn't leave my wife until my youngest was in High School at a minimum.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Look Joseph, i am not here to judge you, what you do is your business, (the consequences fall where they fall) and the last time i checked i am not a perfect being, and i certainly can not walk on water (not unless i know where the rocks are), but i also know that one person can not carry a marriage, no matter how much they try. and you can't be looking at your marriage with an exist strategy in mind...either your both in it or your not...she is clearly an unhappy woman, she seeks something that is not there, no matter how good looking you are, no matter how much money you make, no matter how great you are in the sack, there is something driving her to seek attention from others, either something missing within her or between the both of you. So if she is not going to participate in this relationship then aside from working on yourself and the relationship with your son there is not much more you can do......in the end i would suggest you examine the women you have selected to be your wives.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Xenote said:


> Look Joseph, i am not here to judge you, what you do is your business, (the consequences fall where they fall) and the last time i checked i am not a perfect being, and i certainly can not walk on water (not unless i know where the rocks are), but i also know that one person can not carry a marriage, no matter how much they try. and you can't be looking at your marriage with an exist strategy in mind...either your both in it or your not...she is clearly an unhappy woman, she seeks something that is not there, no matter how good looking you are, no matter how much money you make, no matter how great you are in the sack, there is something driving her to seek attention from others, either something missing within her or between the both of you. So if she is not going to participate in this relationship then aside from working on yourself and the relationship with your son there is not much more you can do......in the end i would suggest you examine the women you have selected to be your wives.


Wow I gotta say this is the best post I've seen on this thread so far .. And you definitely nailed the whole thing with my wife . She craves attention from other men my
Therapist thinks she has daddy issues ( her father wasn't there for her growing up). It's also the reason I suspect she seems to be attracted to thug/criminal type guys(bad boys). No matter what I did I could never seem to fill that void in her. I was a good (not perfect) husband before this happened . She was my everything . But there's the problem you see .. Women like my wife can't handle a loving man/husband. They are attracted to men who treat them badly and that they have to chase and they will return to them again and again .. Especially now in the age of social media where you can track anybody down.I admit that sleeping with 2 married women was the worst possible way to handle the situation but I think my ego took a big hit and I wanted to take my manhood back. Horrible decision on my part .. Your advice was very helpful thank you for the post !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Wow I gotta say this is the best post I've seen on this thread so far .. And you definitely nailed the whole thing with my wife . She craves attention from other men my
> Therapist thinks she has daddy issues ( her father wasn't there for her growing up). It's also the reason I suspect she seems to be attracted to thug/criminal type guys(bad boys). No matter what I did I could never seem to fill that void in her. I was a good (not perfect) husband before this happened . She was my everything . But there's the problem you see .. Women like my wife can't handle a loving man/husband. *They are attracted to men who treat them badly and that they have to chase and they will return to them again and again* .. Especially now in the age of social media where you can track anybody down.I admit that sleeping with 2 married women was the worst possible way to handle the situation but I think my ego took a big hit and I wanted to take my manhood back. Horrible decision on my part .. Your advice was very helpful thank you for the post !
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



There you go. Now that you're a bad boy, she'll start chasing you and your marriage may work out after all.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Wow I gotta say this is the best post I've seen on this thread so far .. And you definitely nailed the whole thing with my wife . She craves attention from other men my
> Therapist thinks she has daddy issues ( her father wasn't there for her growing up). It's also the reason I suspect she seems to be attracted to thug/criminal type guys(bad boys). No matter what I did I could never seem to fill that void in her. I was a good (not perfect) husband before this happened . She was my everything . But there's the problem you see .. Women like my wife can't handle a loving man/husband. They are attracted to men who treat them badly and that they have to chase and they will return to them again and again .. Especially now in the age of social media where you can track anybody down.I admit that sleeping with 2 married women was the worst possible way to handle the situation but I think my ego took a big hit and I wanted to take my manhood back. Horrible decision on my part .. Your advice was very helpful thank you for the post !
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Aug kind of beat me on this but since in essence you are becoming exactly what she is attracted to do you expect her attitude to change towards you?


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

honcho said:


> Aug kind of beat me on this but since in essence you are becoming exactly what she is attracted to do you expect her attitude to change towards you?


Nah I don't think so .. I think she'll always associate me with being the good guy , hardworking , breadwinner of the house type of guy I don't know I think she just goes through the motions as well . Pretty much just stares off into space and twirls her hair all the time . So I just go on and live my life as if she's my room mate for the most part..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Hey you know what guys .. Go ahead and pick on me all you want if it really makes you feel better about yourselves.. Maybe it's hard for you to believe that an attractive guy and women gravitate towards me but it's the truth. I'm not proud of the choices I've made and yes I'm ashamed of my actions .. Maybe I'm being brutally honest and putting a different spin on things ..* Maybe it's time some of you started living your lives* .. Yeah we have all been through hell .. That's why we're all here on TAM . Maybe I'm the "villain"or the "heel" to some of you people but In mind I'm really not I'm just a man who stood up for himself ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are you're a comedian right ?

Mmm... I wish I had your life, the charisma, the 10 inch c0ck, the charm, the wit, the magentic attraction that every woman in every street has for you 

I wanna be you Joseph, pleeese - show me the ropes ! 

:rofl:

_________

If for one second you are not a troll you're "just a man who stood up for himself" Mmm by doing what ? fking married woman, wrecking families, so that divorces have left kids not seeing dads and grandparents lose their grandchildren and the solicitors get richer ....

You're a prize fking numskull


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Whatever man just keep those insults and put downs coming .. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" I'm sure youre perfect and have never cheated in your life right ? Just like the rest of the "saints" on here . Maybe some constructive advice would be better than your insults and put downs .. What have you done to improve your life ? You seem like an angry man ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> ... I'm sure youre perfect and have never cheated in your life right ? Just like the rest of the "saints" on here ...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I'm in. Never cheated in my life. Not on my wife, previous girlfriends, etc.

Cheating is for lowlifes.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Ok so according to your logic if ones wife decides to chase after other men and cheat on their husbands it's the OM's fault right? It's the other mans fault for the marriage and family being destroyed right ? Man you got it twisted.. Believe me I was once in your shoes and used to think that way and it kept me stuck and depressed for years. What your doing is projecting your anger on the other man when in reality (or at least in my case ) my wife was the one who chased down men on the internet and decided to ruin the marriage. This married woman that I slept with I'm sure has slept with other men besides me I'm sure . In fact I know she has ,So if her marriage fails it's my fault ? Pretty narrow minded thinking .

I know what I did was wrong I'm not denying that and I feel like a real POS .. I would never want to inflict the pain and suffering I endured on another .It happened and I can't take it back . my immediate plans for now are to keep my dlck I'm my pants and try to salvage my marriage .my wife knows what needs to happen for it to work so we'll see ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> Ok so according to your logic if ones wife decides to chase after other men and cheat on their husbands it's the OM's fault right? It's the other mans fault for the marriage and family being destroyed right ? Man you got it twisted.. Believe me I was once in your shoes and used to think that way and it kept me stuck and depressed for years. What your doing is projecting your anger on the other man when in reality (or at least in my case ) my wife was the one who chased down men on the internet and decided to ruin the marriage. This married woman that I slept with I'm sure has slept with other men besides me I'm sure . In fact I know she has ,So if her marriage fails it's my fault ? Pretty narrow minded thinking .
> 
> I know what I did was wrong I'm not denying that and I feel like a real POS .. I would never want to inflict the pain and suffering I endured on another .It happened and I can't take it back . my immediate plans for now are to keep my dlck I'm my pants and try to salvage my marriage .my wife knows what needs to happen for it to work so we'll see ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If you were directing this at my post declaring I'd never cheated, I have no idea what you are going on about. 

You inferred that you don't believe the other "saints" on here have never cheated. I Just pointed out you're wrong. The end.

You call people narrow minded, then make a list of assumptions that you feel are true, just because it happened to you? You see the problem, right?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Ok so according to your logic if ones wife decides to chase after other men and cheat on their husbands it's the OM's fault right? It's the other mans fault for the marriage and family being destroyed right ? Man you got it twisted..


Nope, as has been stated, you both are cheaters and you both are the problems. The only one with a logic fail is the guy blaming his wife and other women for his own decisions.

I said you'd find a post to "rah rah rah" about. I was wondering when we got to the "thug/criminal daddy issues" part of your story.

Thanks, now I can leave.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

*Re: Re: Revenge !!*



joseph242 said:


> Ok so according to your logic if ones wife decides to chase after other men and cheat on their husbands it's the OM's fault right? It's the other mans fault for the marriage and family being destroyed right ? Man you got it twisted.. Believe me I was once in your shoes and used to think that way and it kept me stuck and depressed for years. What your doing is projecting your anger on the other man when in reality (or at least in my case ) my wife was the one who chased down men on the internet and decided to ruin the marriage. This married woman that I slept with I'm sure has slept with other men besides me I'm sure . In fact I know she has ,So if her marriage fails it's my fault ? Pretty narrow minded thinking .
> 
> I know what I did was wrong I'm not denying that and I feel like a real POS .. I would never want to inflict the pain and suffering I endured on another .It happened and I can't take it back . my immediate plans for now are to keep my dlck I'm my pants and try to salvage my marriage .my wife knows what needs to happen for it to work so we'll see ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's not all the OM's fault. That said him hooking up with a married women proves he has no honor and deserves a beat down.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Ok well obviously I'm gonna get nowhere with you people .. You're all angry and brainwashed . I'm no newbie to TAM so I get it . I tried to be brutally honest and maybe put a different spin on this thread .. Something a little different than the same old thing.. I guess it's the same old way of thinking for you people "let's kill the OM" mentality .. Taking your anger of what your wives did to you out on me.. That's ok though I been there, I used to think that way too .I got f#ucked over too you know.

I'm done being a doormat for my wife or for any woman . I've improved my life and am much happier now than I was . I made a horrible mistake by sleeping with a married woman . I came here for maybe some good advice and constructive criticism but instead getting bashed and insulted. So IM OUT this time for good .. Maybe I'll check back on here 5 years from now when the same old people are still on here crying the blues .. As for me I'm gonna move on .. You'll all have to find a new target to pick on .. Thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

This reminds me of the Leave It To Beaver episode where Beaver's friend Larry Mondello was singing "You Always Hurt The One You Love".


You just don't get powerful performances like that much anymore.


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Whatever man just keep those insults and put downs coming .. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" I'm sure youre perfect and have never cheated in your life right ? Just like the rest of the "saints" on here . Maybe some constructive advice would be better than your insults and put downs .. What have you done to improve your life ? You seem like an angry man ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hehe

I'm far from perfect and no saint but have never cheated and never would under any circumstances. Nothing special there.

Here's what I've done to improve my life - I've learned to keep away from and keep my kids at a a distance from selfish entitled people like you. It's improved my life no end.

Look at you, you want yourself off the hook by proclaiming "every body does it" ie there's nothing really wrong with it 

Anger at you ? No, just zero respect 

Because you could be, are exactly, the male version of mstbx 

Serial cheat only in marriages. Her child 'wrecking' count so far has been 12. 4/5 marriages completely destroyed. Has no respect or remorse and just carries on regardless. 
Whats your child home wrecked life count up to now?

You want some constructive advice for the type of animal you are. 

Here's some - Fk off 

Btw no anger there - that is actually my constructive advice. Just hoping one of the many betrayed husbands gets his hands on you and gives you what you really deserve


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Ok well obviously I'm gonna get nowhere with you people .. You're all angry and brainwashed . I'm no newbie to TAM so I get it . I tried to be brutally honest and maybe put a different spin on this thread .. Something a little different than the same old thing.. I guess it's the same old way of thinking for you people "let's kill the OM" mentality .. Taking your anger of what your wives did to you out on me.. That's ok though I been there, I used to think that way too .I got f#ucked over too you know.
> 
> I'm done being a doormat for my wife or for any woman . I've improved my life and am much happier now than I was . I made a horrible mistake by sleeping with a married woman . I came here for maybe some good advice and constructive criticism but instead getting bashed and insulted. So IM OUT this time for good .. Maybe I'll check back on here 5 years from now when the same old people are still on here crying the blues .. As for me I'm gonna move on .. You'll all have to find a new target to pick on .. Thanks
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Shame it's been fun

:rofl:


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Then its time to let this thread die. If I said what I wanted to say to the OP, I'd be banned again.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Headspin said:


> Hehe
> 
> I'm far from perfect and no saint but have never cheated and never would under any circumstances. Nothing special there.
> 
> ...


Man you're good .. Sucked me back in again.. Regardless this thread needs to die it could literally go on forever. 

Just a couple of final thoughts if I may .. As far as a "child home wrecked count" I guess mine would be zero as far as I know both women are still married.And if they got divorced tomorrow would it be my fault or the 10 other guys they cheated with?maybe their husbands can form a lynch mob and go out and beat up all the other men!! Yeah that's the answer !! Let's get em.. Or maybe look at the real problem right in front of them their cheating wives who chase other men..the sad thing is I used to think like you people but time passes and you eventually get over it.. Change the way you think and free yourself from this misery !! 

Ok I'm really going now please let this thread die it's over..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> OK heres my story.Been married for 10 years,together for 12.Our marriage has had its ups and downs as any marriage does.My wife had one affair about 5 years ago with an ex she hooked up with on face book it lasted about 6 months.He eventually moved out of state and dumped her like a piece of trash.I know she went physical with him but i also suspect there were others.Going through her face book messages she was messaging every ex boyfriend and guy friend she ever had.she says she just wanted to "catch up" and was "curious to how their lives turned out" ok innocent enough but why did she have to include her phone number with every message? i mean married women aren't supposed to send their number to multiple men over the internet right? Im talking at least 10 different guys she sent her phone number to.Some were ex boyfriends some were just friends or so she says.Going through her mobile phone she had guys numbers under fake names for example "pete" would be listed as "amber" and so on.I became quite the detective over the course of this madness.I made the mistake of confronting too soon out of anger and she deleted everything face book messages,phone numbers,text messages so i only have proof of the one affair and she wont admit to anything other than what i can prove.
> 
> went to three different marriage counsellors and they all had the same script..Move on,forgive and forget,move forward,its in the past.Totally sided with her and made me out to be the crazy one for not "getting over it". Long story short i decided to stay and reconcile because we have a 4 year old boy together (yes had a paternity test done and he is my child).I have an older child from a previous marriage and i didn't want to re live the years of family court,child support,weekend visits,etc . Also for financial reasons if i leave now i would literally lose everything my first wife already gets almost half my paycheck so i would literally be screwed.
> 
> ...


So you're an A-1 POSOM. Congratulations. High five. You're the man. Way to stick it to those innocent cuckolds!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Whatever man just keep those insults and put downs coming .. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" I'm sure youre perfect and have never cheated in your life right ? Just like the rest of the "saints" on here . Maybe some constructive advice would be better than your insults and put downs .. What have you done to improve your life ? You seem like an angry man ..


Sometimes the insults and putdowns are appropriate. This is especially true when a person is being a real ass hat. Hopefully it will help them realize that the path they are taking is hurting other innocent people and even themselves.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Man you're good .. Sucked me back in again.. Regardless this thread needs to die it could literally go on forever.
> 
> Just a couple of final thoughts if I may .. As far as a "child home wrecked count" I guess mine would be zero as far as I know both women are still married.And if they got divorced tomorrow would it be my fault or the 10 other guys they cheated with?maybe their husbands can form a lynch mob and go out and beat up all the other men!! Yeah that's the answer !! Let's get em.. Or maybe look at the real problem right in front of them their cheating wives who chase other men..the sad thing is I used to think like you people but time passes and you eventually get over it.. Change the way you think and free yourself from this misery !!
> 
> Ok I'm really going now please let this thread die it's over..


Look, we all get that the spouse who cheats (husband/wife) is the one who married and promised to be faithful. They are the person who promised to love and cherish the BS, but then made a conscious decision to hurt the BS and destroy the marriage. They are the major bad guy/gal. But the OM/OW does not get off the hook. They care an accomplice in the crime.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

The mentality that I find troubling here (among others) is the blame being put on the wives for their cheating. 

If OP had said that it is always the wayward SPOUSE fault, fine I can get behind that though still contend the affair partners hold some responsibility too. 

But it's always the wives fault, according to OP. AS if all women are these conniving Medusas that are ruining marriages everywhere. Whether this attitude has always been prevalent in OP's life or only since his wife's infidelity sparked it I don't know. 

Wives cheat. Husbands cheat. There are studies out there that both confirm and refute which spouse cheats more. In the end there probably isn't a huge statistical difference.

My only caution to OP Is this. The married women you are bedding or have bedded may or may not have had 10 affair partners. But it may very well be that your name is the one name they find out about. And I hope that when they do find out your name, they do not take matters into their own hands and take a drive by your house carrying whatever sidearm they grab from their cabinet. Maybe you are home, maybe you aren't. But maybe your son is home, and answers a knock at the door. 

Unlikely? Probably. But why take that chance with the kids lives?


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## waylan (Apr 23, 2014)

I find it hard to believe that this dude isn't a troll. There really can't be guys out there that think this way, right? If your story is real (and I highly doubt it) I feel sorry for you and embarrassed as man.

Joseph - If someone crook stole your car - does that give you the right to steal someone else's? If no - how is that different then being cheated on and then doing the same to someone else? If the answer yes - then I now know all I need to know about you.

For the record - over 20 years married - never cheated. Yes - I've turned women down but find it odd that there are so many married women lining up for you. Doesn't mesh with my own experiences.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Ok well obviously I'm gonna get nowhere with you people .. You're all angry and brainwashed . I'm no newbie to TAM so I get it . I tried to be brutally honest and maybe put a different spin on this thread ..


 So, your different spin was to cheat with married women? You are a newb to TAM because you'd know there are MANY posters who advocate a revenge affair. Those same people do not tolerate revenge affairs with married people with an unsuspecting spouse. 


> Something a little different than the same old thing..


There is nothing different about you OP except, you threw married women into the mix and expected a bunch of hive fives and pats on the back. 


> I guess it's the same old way of thinking for you people "let's kill the OM" mentality ..


 Now, this is funny. Sadly, you are upset because your brainwashing attempt failed miserably.



> Taking your anger of what your wives did to you out on me.. That's ok though I been there, I used to think that way too .I got f#ucked over too you know.


 This is called projection. The only one angry is you. You insulted people, generalized their actions and then became upset when no one saw it your way. That's actually petulance.



> I'm done being a doormat for my wife or for any woman as well.


 You are paying child support and living with someone who makes you miserable. Please tell me how you AREN'T a doormat again.




> I've improved my life and am much happier now than I was . I made a horrible mistake by sleeping with a married woman .


 You said two, why is it now one?



> I came here for maybe some good advice and constructive criticism but instead getting bashed and insulted.


 Show me a post where you asked for advice. 


> So IM OUT this time for good .. Maybe I'll check back on here 5 years from now when the same old people are still on here crying the blues .. As for me I'm gonna move on .. You'll all have to find a new target to pick on .. Thanks
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are welcome.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Joseph, you are now just as bad as your wife. If not worse.

Stop. Now.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

So you guys think my thinking is twisted huh? Let me tell you something I been through hell and back too. I was once like you. I know all about vars ,key loggers,cell phone spyware,poly tests,hours and days of investigating and gathering evidence ,thousands of dollars later and you wanna know what I found out ? MY WIFE WAS LYING TO ME AND SLEEPING AROUND!! Wow big surprise I knew it deep down all along.. Know what else I found out ? She had an internet dating account and even co signed a car loan for one of her little boyfriends which of course he stopped paying and it screwed our credit.. The worst part is she completely cut me off from any sexual contact for over a year because she "hates sex" and I stayed faithful . She was out ****ing her little boyfriend while I played with myself I'm the bathroom every night .. Wanna talk about being cuckholded? Wanna talk about betrayal ? Years later and 3 different marriage counsellors and her attitude is " I'm closing that chapter of my life" and I'm forbidden to bring it up ever..so finally after much humiliation and having my manhood shattered I went off the deep end.. I wanted to re claim my manhood and thought the way to go was to screw anything on sight . Married,single,divorced,engaged,boyfriend..didn't care .. As long as she was hot and willing (being brutally honest) .

What I didn't realize is that I've become the piece of crap that I've always hated by doing this .. I've become that guy .. A sleaze ball . Not proud of that either . This whole experience has changed me as a person and has changed the way I look at women and sexuality . I have no respect for women anymore .. Look at them as sexual objects only . I harbor a lot of hate and anger towards my wife still .. I guess her in willingness to discuss our marriage had made me act out in dispicable ways ..

Wanna know why I really stay ? I guess after being with her for 12 years I don't want nobody else to have her ( brutal honesty). I don't want one of her greasy little boyfriends living in my home and being around my little boy .. So I'll go through the motions and stay in this hateful, unhealthy, marriage for the greater good which in this case is my son.. Sorry if I came off as an arrogant ass in my previous posts .. I'm all done with all women for now I'm gonna keep it in my pants for awhile for everyone's sake ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Each one of us has to chose how they will react/act after something like infidelity happens. 

You have choses in stay in anger and bitterness. And in the wake of that you have chosen to become someone you don't really respect.

I hope that some day you can let this anger go and can find peace. Remember that hanging on to anger and bitterness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Joseph I do not think you are a sleazeball at all. Just misguided and lashing out. You really need to work out how to end this marriage it seems since I do not believe it is going anywhere and is unhealthy for you both.

Revenge affairs etc are never as satisfying as one might think. And she seems indifferent to them anyway so they really did not have the intended effect.

Wouldn't it be nicer for you to end this and start a new healthy life with healthy relationships etc ?

Why are you staying with her ? I really don't understand.


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Sorry to see that this is the way you've dealt with your pain and frustration. I can understand it somewhat as I've traveled some dark roads in dealing with the demons of my own pain. I hope that you can eventually find peace as well joseph.


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## TryingToRecover (Dec 19, 2012)

OP, I don't blame you for being angry about being cheated on in the past but cheating and sleeping with women regardless of their marital status won't do you any good in the long run. It probably seems easy to dismiss your married AP's husbands and/or their marriages because you probably were not the only OM, etc. My WS had a short-lived affair with woman who was, maybe still is, angry at the world, didn't care much for women and has a lot of daddy issues. Apparently the outlet for her anger has been engaging in affairs, deceiving men, etc. I'm sure she could care less about her role in helping my husband to deceive and hurt me but maybe my comments might help to put a "face" to these AP's husbands you mentioned earlier. Not quite the same situation as yours but anger is anger. 

People do find out about affairs, as these betrayed husbands might, and they aren't going to immediately care if you're one of many or the only OM. After my initial shock subsided, I was full of blind rage for the OW. There was a period of time I would have willingly gone to jail for assaulting her and I obsessed over it. Luckily better sense prevailed. I'm sure you don't want to be caught off guard by an angry BH or worse yet, put your son at risk. 

You may not care about these BH's but people really do get hurt by these situations, regardless of whether or not you feel responsible. Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DKpTs2r83Bc


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DKpTs2r83Bc


Exactly !! Love it ...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

manfromlamancha said:


> Joseph I do not think you are a sleazeball at all. Just misguided and lashing out. You really need to work out how to end this marriage it seems since I do not believe it is going anywhere and is unhealthy for you both.
> 
> Revenge affairs etc are never as satisfying as one might think. And she seems indifferent to them anyway so they really did not have the intended effect.
> 
> ...


A guy who bangs other mens wive's isn't s sleazeball? You're right. That's far too mild a term.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Exactly !! Love it ...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I thought you would since it's probably where you got your inspiration for this thread...


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Healer said:


> A guy who bangs other mens wive's isn't s sleazeball? You're right. That's far too mild a term.


Yeah man you're right maybe I should be burned at the stake .. What do you want out of me a pint of blood? Like a bunch of vultures picking at a dead carcass .maybe I should go out and hunt down all the guys that banged my wife and kick all their asses !! Yeah !!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I thought you would since it's probably where you got your inspiration for this thread...


Brother maybe hard to believe but I live it everyday ..maybe not to that extreme but close ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

If 90% of married women cheat, what is the percentage of married men who are cheating?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Yeah man you're right maybe I should be burned at the stake .. What do you want out of me a pint of blood? Like a bunch of vultures picking at a dead carcass ..


Oh good grief. If you are going to act like a sleaze at least be man enough to take people's reaction to it. Man up already!!!


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> If 90% of married women cheat, what is the percentage of married men who are cheating?


I don't know .. I would guess a little lower probably .. I think it's easier for a woman to get laid than a man .. But that's just my personal opinion..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Oh good grief. If you are going to act like a sleaze at least be man enough to take people's reaction to it. Man up already!!!


Yeah your right maybe he didn't read my story ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> I don't know .. I would guess a little lower probably .. I think it's easier for a woman to get laid than a man .. But that's just my personal opinion..


You say that women hit on you all day long, every day. So apparently it's not hard for men to get laid.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> You say that women hit on you all day long, every day. So apparently it's not hard for men to get laid.


Maybe so .. Really couldn't tell ya .. I don't have a problem In the getting laid department although it's not what I'm looking for at this point .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsDraper (May 27, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> So you guys think my thinking is twisted huh? Let me tell you something I been through hell and back too. I was once like you. I know all about vars ,key loggers,cell phone spyware,poly tests,hours and days of investigating and gathering evidence ,thousands of dollars later and you wanna know what I found out ? MY WIFE WAS LYING TO ME AND SLEEPING AROUND!! Wow big surprise I knew it deep down all along.. Know what else I found out ? She had an internet dating account and even co signed a car loan for one of her little boyfriends which of course he stopped paying and it screwed our credit.. The worst part is she completely cut me off from any sexual contact for over a year because she "hates sex" and I stayed faithful . She was out ****ing her little boyfriend while I played with myself I'm the bathroom every night .. Wanna talk about being cuckholded? Wanna talk about betrayal ? Years later and 3 different marriage counsellors and her attitude is " I'm closing that chapter of my life" and I'm forbidden to bring it up ever..so finally after much humiliation and having my manhood shattered I went off the deep end.. I wanted to re claim my manhood and thought the way to go was to screw anything on sight . Married,single,divorced,engaged,boyfriend..didn't care .. As long as she was hot and willing (being brutally honest) .
> 
> What I didn't realize is that I've become the piece of crap that I've always hated by doing this .. I've become that guy .. A sleaze ball . Not proud of that either . This whole experience has changed me as a person and has changed the way I look at women and sexuality . I have no respect for women anymore .. Look at them as sexual objects only . I harbor a lot of hate and anger towards my wife still .. I guess her in willingness to discuss our marriage had made me act out in dispicable ways ..
> 
> ...


You are sick. Get some help.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

That's it!!!! Screw all of you!! I'm gone for good this time!!!!


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

No really!! Don't try and draw me back it won't work!


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

MrsDraper said:


> You are sick. Get some help.


Really ? How so. ? What's your story ? please tell ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

HarryDoyle said:


> No really!! Don't try and draw me back it won't work!


Ok I tried to reach out for help to a bunch of mindless zombies and got nowhere .. So I guess I'll leave you all in loserville to wallow in self pity and sorrow .. Maybe someday if you get away from the computer and off this stupid website then maybe someday you too might get laid ... Good luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsDraper (May 27, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> Really ? How so. ? What's your story ? please tell ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sure many others have posted this, but my eyes started crossing after reading that book of a first post. I couldn't read through 11 other pages, even though I have skimmed. 

Why in the world would you want to expose others to the pain that you have been through? That is what you are doing by sleeping with married women. Further, you are only hurting yourself, your wife, and the people you are banging if you are doing it for cheap thrills. There is no going back once you start going down that path. 

Only people who have completely lost it do that. Plus, the way you talk about women - as if they are items - is just wrong. 

Stay in IC. Get yourself together. It is hard to sound unhinged on an internet forum, especially around here when people are completely upset and torn apart when they show up. But I think you have accomplished it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> Ok I tried to reach out for help to a bunch of mindless zombies and got nowhere .. So I guess I'll leave you all in loserville to wallow in self pity and sorrow .. Maybe someday if you get away from the computer and off this stupid website then maybe someday you too might get laid ... Good luck


You are the one who came here wallowing in your self pity and sorrow. After all that's the excuse you use for the bad choices you have been making.

Also, you said earlier that you posted because you thought that the men here would think of you as a hero and you would get high fives. No mention of wanting help.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

This thread is completely useless and should be locked. This is ridiculous.


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Ok I tried to reach out for help to a bunch of mindless zombies and got nowhere .. So I guess I'll leave you all in loserville to wallow in self pity and sorrow .. *Maybe someday if you get away from the computer and off this stupid website then maybe someday you too might get laid* ... Good luck
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


hahahaha

Brilliant

:rofl:

Please Oh Joe if I follow your highness around can I live off of your getting laid scraps and that may be my ticket out of Loserville

:lol:

Love it.

Hehe I'm actually hoping you are a troll and will open up a new thread as good and as funny as this one 

.......Although saying that you probably be back in 5 minutes to carry on this one .........again


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

3putt said:


> This thread is completely useless and should be locked. This is ridiculous.


It's brilliant have you no sense of humor


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

joseph242, I understand completely where you are coming from.

Lets face it. People like you and I, unbelievably attractive, highly intelligent, modest, absolutely CRUSHING the Creative Writing course we are taking at the local JuCo, and morally impaired, are rare.

Everybody else just can't understand getting hit on constantly by members of the opposite sex. They don't know the depths of betrayal, where their spouse deletes stuff and hikes up their skirt (which is really awful if the spouse is a husband, because why was he wearing a skirt in the first place?).

Being AWESOME, we really have no choice at all, except to react to that betrayal with swollen genitals, and attempt to rub them against whoever else we can.

And since we're so cute, well, lets just say that our genitals get "a LOT of rubbing."

And I'm sure you will agree that Revenge !! is a dish best served cold, so don't forget the ice cubes, right before you get to rubbing.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you a few words of encouragement on your journey of VENGEANCE against the ONE WHO WRONGEDED YOU.

Ignore the haters.

Ignore the commenters who are not fully supportive of RETRIBUTION.

Ignore the TV dinner, slowly growing cold in the microwave.

You are on a mission. A mission of emotional payback. Like that movie Mel Gibson made. That starred that guy who made the original movie, back in the '60's.

That's YOU, man.

Now fish one of those folded of scraps of paper from a woman desperate to breed with you, out of your pocket.

And make the call.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

3putt said:


> This thread is completely useless and should be locked. This is ridiculous.


Oh, I thought it was 5 years later not five minutes.


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## TryingToRecover (Dec 19, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Ok I tried to reach out for help to a bunch of mindless zombies and got nowhere .. So I guess I'll leave you all in loserville to wallow in self pity and sorrow .. Maybe someday if you get away from the computer and off this stupid website then maybe someday you too might get laid ... Good luck
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:lol:

Help? :scratchhead: You just wanted a bunch of other cheaters to slap you on the back and tell you what a big stud you are, what an alpha male rolleyes you are for not putting up with your WW's s*it. When you didn't get that reaction you responded by telling everyone what losers they are. How old are you? 12?

Self-confident men who are getting laid on a regular basis don't need or want to brag about it to anyone who will listen, including on anonymous forums. Like ends to attract like and I can only assume the type of woman you are attracting for all of these sexual encounters are less than ....well, just less than. But that probably doesn't matter as long as they keep putting out, right?


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Headspin said:


> It's brilliant have you no sense of humor


Of course I do as that's been proven enough. Just not with crap like this though. 

This is useless.

Meh, JMO.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

*Re: Re: Revenge !!*



MrsDraper said:


> I'm sure many others have posted this, but my eyes started crossing after reading that book of a first post. I couldn't read through 11 other pages, even though I have skimmed.
> 
> Why in the world would you want to expose others to the pain that you have been through? That is what you are doing by sleeping with married women. Further, you are only hurting yourself, your wife, and the people you are banging if you are doing it for cheap thrills. There is no going back once you start going down that path.
> 
> ...


You're right. That path leads to a very dark place. I was there. And I felt the same about women as our friend here. No respect. Treated them like objects...or worse. Didn't bed married women though. At least I kept that little slice of my honor intact. Thing is, he's acting all bravado now but at some point he is going to look at himself in the mirror and vomit. He's going to have that "Dorian Gray" moment, just like I had. He's going to see the horror he has become. It was a real epiphany in my life. How could it not. He'll have it too. I only hope he hasn't alienated everyone by then because he'll need someone to help him pick up the pieces.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Don't classes start in about 2 weeks? That should quite things down around here some.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

OP, congrats on being a terrible human being.


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## Trojan John (Sep 30, 2011)

Honestly, I can understand attacking the man's behaviour, but what is up with the personal attacks?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Trojan John said:


> Honestly, I can understand attacking the man's behaviour, but what is up with the personal attacks?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Maybe the fact he considers us all "mindless Zombies"?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Maybe the fact he considers us all "mindless Zombies"?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wallowing in Loserville....the place he approached to beat his chest.


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## Pattiroxxi (May 3, 2014)

It's not fair, your wife will probably leave you with her BF and when you tell her about her revenge, she will most likely not care and laugh in your face. 

I would do it differently than you. This is weak.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

A few things.

Not all women cheat. Maybe that's just what I want to believe, but I have enough friends that are women to know that the good ones don't.

I choose to believe that I'm married to one of the good ones. And even though our marriage has been rough, and she's walked some fine lines, I choose to believe that she has never cheated on me. Trust but verify. 

Some guys won't cheat. I've been the guy that's been straight up propositioned just for sex by hot women. And always said no. Even when there was 100% bulletproof guaranteed no way for my wife to ever find out. My close buddies are all the same.

I love sex with hot new women. I love my wife more.

My last point.

I give the odds 99% you're some teenaged dude in his mom's basement who just had his GF dump him.

At least, I hope you are. Because, my god.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

marduk said:


> A few things.
> 
> Not all women cheat. Maybe that's just what I want to believe, but I have enough friends that are women to know that the good ones don't.
> 
> ...


No sorry I'm a 41 year old married man.. Been married for over 10 years now . Got married feb 14 2004 yup valentines day how romantic huh? I've been accused of being a troll several times here but there's actually an old thread from a few years back called "dazed and confused" that's after I found out about my wife's affairs if you want to verify it. Since that time a lot more things have come out about my wife's behaviors .. Got trickle truthed for years.. I would say even now I probably only know about maybe 10% of what really happened . I'll never know everything I've resigned myself to that fact . I loved my wife and was a faithful man too at one time. She was MY EVERYTHING . Now I look at her with pure disgust . For me it was almost like a death in the family or losing a loved one .i had to go through a grieving process that took years. Still have my bad days . I mean I guess my wife is still here physically but that's not the woman I married living in our house. I'm never gonna love her the way a man should live his wife . How could I ?

I reached out to TAM a few years ago with my original thread and found a bunch of caring people who wanted to help me and would talk to me when everybody else thought I was crazy. That's including my family,her family, and 3 different marriage counsellors . I was crazy because I wouldn't "move on" or " move forward" you know rug sweep that's what you call it right ? Lol.. I was even committed to a mental institution for 3 days after I found out about her co signing a car loan for one of her little boyfriends .. But people on TAM would listen and assured me I wasn't crazy and she was full of crap. I was in denial then thinking "maybe she's telling the truth" or " maybe it was only an EA " nope .. You guys gave me the straight up truth and in the end were right . I just couldn't or didn't want to believe it .

So I came back here to TAM . This time things are a little different .. Oh and by the way sorry about the "mindless zombie/loser thing" had a few last night let the beer get the best of me ..so I feel like I'm getting absolutely nowhere and wasting my time being on here .. I love how you put labels on people . So now I'm a "serial cheater" who has slept with married women. To you people I'm scum. There's nothing I can do or say to convince you otherwise..you see things in black and white. No compassion for me for the betrayal and total devastation I've endured .. Even though everybody on here has been through it . No compassion or mercy to me because to you people I may as well be satan himself . Your like a bunch of bullies picking on some kid at school.. But I guess I deserve it because I'm a "serial cheater" right .. Maybe we can all organize a lynch mob and go round up all the men who screwed our wives and give them all the beat downs they deserve !! Hey count me in believe me I would love to .. But what is that gonna accomplish , is that gonna fix your life or your marriage or make you feel more manly ? Believe me I'm a real big guy 6'5 280.. And I love me a good fight.. I called a couple of these Other men and confronted them .. I was gonna go looking for the one guy .. But why? Why should I bother when at the end of the day it was my wife who chased him down. I'm not looking for sympathy maybe a little compassion and understanding from other people who have been where I have ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

Joseph, I've done the revenge affair on an ex. Had sex with his best friend. In his bed. I know. Terrible. But if I tell you how he lied and cheated on me multiple times, and all the details, it would seem well deserved.
But it solved nothing. It gave me some satisfaction, and restored some of my confidence. But like you, I wasn't ready to end the relationship, so I lost the ground of accusing him of his iniquities. I had sank as low as him. He held it against me at every fight. He retaliated with another cheating. I retaliated back. Needless to say, that's not a relationship anymore, but a battlefield. 

Your wife may deserve it. But two wrongs don't make a right. If you can't afford the divorce, then perhaps she would agree to an open marriage. Cheater as she is, I don't think she'll mind. That way you can lead separate lives and get together at home for the kids to have a family.

And stop sleeping with married women. Your wife may deserve it, but all those spouses never did you wrong. Good luck.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> No sorry I'm a 41 year old married man.. Been married for over 10 years now . Got married feb 14 2004 yup valentines day how romantic huh? I've been accused of being a troll several times here but there's actually an old thread from a few years back called "dazed and confused" that's after I found out about my wife's affairs if you want to verify it. Since that time a lot more things have come out about my wife's behaviors .. Got trickle truthed for years.. I would say even now I probably only know about maybe 10% of what really happened . I'll never know everything I've resigned myself to that fact . I loved my wife and was a faithful man too at one time. She was MY EVERYTHING . Now I look at her with pure disgust . For me it was almost like a death in the family or losing a loved one .i had to go through a grieving process that took years. Still have my bad days . I mean I guess my wife is still here physically but that's not the woman I married living in our house. I'm never gonna love her the way a man should live his wife . How could I ?
> 
> I reached out to TAM a few years ago with my original thread and found a bunch of caring people who wanted to help me and would talk to me when everybody else thought I was crazy. That's including my family,her family, and 3 different marriage counsellors . I was crazy because I wouldn't "move on" or " move forward" you know rug sweep that's what you call it right ? Lol.. I was even committed to a mental institution for 3 days after I found out about her co signing a car loan for one of her little boyfriends .. But people on TAM would listen and assured me I wasn't crazy and she was full of crap. I was in denial then thinking "maybe she's telling the truth" or " maybe it was only an EA " nope .. You guys gave me the straight up truth and in the end were right . I just couldn't or didn't want to believe it .
> 
> *So I came back here to TAM . This time things are a little different .. Oh and by the way sorry about the "mindless zombie/loser thing" had a few last night let the beer get the best of me ..so I feel like I'm getting absolutely nowhere and wasting my time being on here .. I love how you put labels on people . So now I'm a "serial cheater" who has slept with married women. To you people I'm scum. There's nothing I can do or say to convince you otherwise..you see things in black and white. No compassion for me for the betrayal and total devastation I've endured .. Even though everybody on here has been through it . No compassion or mercy to me because to you people I may as well be satan himself . Your like a bunch of bullies picking on some kid at school.. But I guess I deserve it because I'm a "serial cheater" right .. Maybe we can all organize a lynch mob and go round up all the men who screwed our wives and give them all the beat downs they deserve !! Hey count me in believe me I would love to .. But what is that gonna accomplish , is that gonna fix your life or your marriage or make you feel more manly ? Believe me I'm a real big guy 6'5 280.. And I love me a good fight.. I called a couple of these Other men and confronted them .. I was gonna go looking for the one guy .. But why? Why should I bother when at the end of the day it was my wife who chased him down. I'm not looking for sympathy maybe a little compassion and understanding from other people who have been where I have ..*


I could've mustered plenty of compassion for you as a BS, _but not much -- if any -- as a WS_, _*and less than none as a POSOM*_. And I couldn't possibly care any less that you're cheating on your own cheating wife. Do I think that you'd be better off either divorcing or committing yourself to the successful reconciliation of your marriage? Yes, I do. But still, I don't really care.

_What I do have a problem w/ is that you're cheating w/ married women, and are thereby complicit in their betrayal of their own husbands. In short, you are doing to each of those men exactly what your wife's OM(s) did to you, and anything said to justify this behavior is nothing short of cowardly bullsh*t._

Think about the lessons that your children may one day take from your behavior.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

> I'm not looking for sympathy maybe a little compassion and understanding from other people who have been where I have ..


Well why didn't you say so! We'll just ring up Mike Rowe, I just saw an episode where he spent almost the whole show shoveling bullish*t. You two should have a lot to talk about.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

This thread is a waste of time. He doesn't find TAM Helpful, isn't looking for any advice, and it's down to verbal insults being lobbed from all sides. What's the point? Time to shut this down. First time I've ever advocated closing down a thread. Enough Is enough.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> I could've mustered plenty of compassion for you as a BS, _but not much -- if any -- as a WS_, _*and less than none as a POSOM*_. And I couldn't possibly care any less that you're cheating on your own cheating wife. Do I think that you'd be better off either divorcing or committing yourself to the successful reconciliation of your marriage? Yes, I do. But still, I don't really care.
> 
> _What I do have a problem w/ is that you're cheating w/ married women, and are thereby complicit in their betrayal of their own husbands. In short, you are doing to each of those men exactly what your wife's OM(s) did to you, and anything said to justify this behavior is nothing short of cowardly bullsh*t._
> 
> Think about the lessons that your children may one day take from your behavior.


Yup exactly my point putting labels on people.. OM,POSOM,etc .. Maybe just a human being that did some real shltty things and made some horrible mistakes when I was In a mentally screwed up place in my life .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> Yup exactly my point putting labels on people.. OM,POSOM,etc .. Maybe just a human being that did some real shltty things and made some horrible mistakes when I was In a mentally screwed up place in my life .


*But you're still doing them!!!*

Seriously, man... you can't use past-tense verbs to describe current behavior.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> *But you're still doing them!!!*
> 
> Seriously, man... you can't use past-tense verbs to describe current behavior.


Actually no I'm not .. It's been about a month since I'm slept with anybody .. I'm gonna keep it I'm my pants till I figure things out . and definitely never with a married woman again that was the shlttiest thing I've ever done in my life .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Actually no I'm not .. It's been about a month since I'm slept with anybody .. I'm gonna keep it I'm my pants till I figure things out . and definitely never with a married woman again that was the shlttiest thing I've ever done in my life .
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Joseph, you need counselling to help you get through not what your wife did to you but what you have done to you since then.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Joseph, I remember your original thread. In fact it is possible that my friend and mentor commented in your thread. If I recall you were indeed dazed and confused and if I may say so you were also extremely frustrated. I can understand why you reacted the way you did. I did something similar when I was faced with this kind of betrayal. But Joseph, we both know where that road leads don't we. And we also both know that what I did and what you're doing is blatantly passive aggressive and weak. You need to decide what is important to you. Can and will you just live with this situation because you won't tolerate being a divorced dad? Or are you going to stand up for yourself and divorce if necessary in order to regain your self respect as a man, a father and a husband to this wife or another. The choice is up to you and you'll have to live with it for a very long time.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

bfree said:


> Joseph, I remember your original thread. In fact it is possible that my friend and mentor commented in your thread. If I recall you were indeed dazed and confused and if I may say so you were also extremely frustrated. I can understand why you reacted the way you did. I did something similar when I was faced with this kind of betrayal. But Joseph, we both know where that road leads don't we. And we also both know that what I did and what you're doing is blatantly passive aggressive and weak. You need to decide what is important to you. Can and will you just live with this situation because you won't tolerate being a divorced dad? Or are you going to stand up for yourself and divorce if necessary in order to regain your self respect as a man, a father and a husband to this wife or another. The choice is up to you and you'll have to live with it for a very long time.


Thank you got the good advice . Definitely something to think about .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> Actually no I'm not .. It's been about a month since I'm slept with anybody .. I'm gonna keep it I'm my pants till I figure things out . and definitely never with a married woman again that was the shlttiest thing I've ever done in my life.


OK then... I misunderstood. I'll back off a bit. But still, you can't unf*ck those women. Get on the straight and narrow, and stay there. You'll be all the better for it.

Is your wife aware of your affairs? Is she still engaged in adultery?


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

bfree said:


> And we also both know that what I did and what you're doing is blatantly passive aggressive and weak.


:iagree:

I was waiting to get to the end of this thread to say this very thing.

Your behavior is completely passive aggressive! It is weak because you know you are not enforcing the boundaries your self-respect would require.

Once you sacrifice your self-respect to fear (which is what you have done, i.e. victim mode) the bottom drops out of your moral core and you fall to your lowest common denominator.

Which is pretty low and pretty common.

This does not help your self-respect BTW.

What is worse is that you are using (and thereby damaging) your son as an excuse.





joseph242 said:


> So I'll go through the motions and stay in this hateful, unhealthy, marriage for the greater good which in this case is my son.. _Posted via Mobile Device_


A completely detached dysfunctional marriage, insurmountable resentment, an acting out passive/aggressive father, and you think this is the greater good? Really?

I have raised four children, I know what a healthy environment is, if I could show it to you then I think you would agree that what you are doing borders on abuse!

As a father you should be protecting your son from this kind of thing, instead you are enabling it and IMO are much more than 50% responsible for it.

I have watched betrayed Fathers on this board endure unspeakable things as they acted with courage and wisdom to create a decent home for their kids. Some in reconciliation some in getting the hell out of the toxic relationship.

You are not on any level deserving to be compared to these men, men that you classify as losers. Who really is the biggest loser? (Besides your poor son, so sad!)

Your wife sounds broken, you will never know if she is or ever will be deserving to stay in the marriage until you take this to the breaking point and see what she is made of.

Frankly I don't think she has it in her. (She will have to commit to really working on herself, and intense counseling.) 

It is like you are consenting to stay with a drug addict because *you are afraid *to leave.

Is that really the best stuff you are made of?
It may very well be.

Do you feel any desire to be a decent person?

Trying to "work" on your marriage is a complete cop-out!!!

More P.A. conflict avoidance, that is all. Meanwhile the little boy grows up. I hope you like the taste of regret because it is on the menu for your later years.

I really do wish you well, but I fear you actually don't have what it takes.

Take care!


Bfree- Some day I will beat you to the punch! :toast:


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> OK then... I misunderstood. I'll back off a bit. But still, you can't unf*ck those women. Get on the straight and narrow, and stay there. You'll be all the better for it.
> 
> Is your wife aware of your affairs? Is she still engaged in adultery?


I told her that I cheated on her all she said was " I kind of figured you did " and that was it . She didn't want to know details or anything . Really don't think she cares . As far as she goes I don't think so but I really don't care anymore . I don't check her phone or facebook anymore and she comes and goes as she pleases . Recently she went on a week long cross country trip without me . Don't care what she does anymore . I've given up . what I really want is for us to reconcile but I can't see it happening . She refuses to talk about anything in her past it's off limits for me to bring it up and it eats me alive everyday . Some days I look at her with pure hatred in my eyes .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

joseph242 said:


> I told her that I cheated on her all she said was " I kind of figured you did " and that was it . She didn't want to know details or anything . Really don't think she cares . As far as she goes I don't think so but I really don't care anymore . I don't check her phone or facebook anymore and she comes and goes as she pleases . Recently she went on a week long cross country trip without me . Don't care what she does anymore . I've given up . what I really want is for us to reconcile but I can't see it happening . She refuses to talk about anything in her past it's off limits for me to bring it up and it eats me alive everyday . Some days I look at her with pure hatred in my eyes .


Life is too short to live with that much unhappiness. Why not just divorce her. Get it over with, heal and move on.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

joseph242 said:


> I told her that I cheated on her all she said was " I kind of figured you did " and that was it .


Serial cheaters don't care until their lives are turned upside down. You fell into her cycle and gave her more fuel. She knows you won't leave, won't fight her, still provide for her and your child. She gets all of the perks, gets to party, doesn't even have to give you sex or be a wife. Middleman said it earlier, you two are roommates.

If not for you, leave for your child. Your household CANNOT be a healthy environment.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

What's worse for the kid. Totally unhappy, disfunctional parents or a single dad who stood up to toxic poisons and got the kid out of its influences. 

When the kid grows up a bit, what's he to think... "Wow, I've got two cesspools for parents" or "wow, I had one who stood up for what's right and what's best for me..."

Welcome to your new life. Is it not the worst of all possible decisions?


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Q tip said:


> What's worse for the kid. Totally unhappy, disfunctional parents or a single dad who stood up to toxic poisons and got the kid out of its influences.
> 
> When the kid grows up a bit, what's he to think... "Wow, I've got two cesspools for parents" or "wow, I had one who stood up for what's right and what's best for me..."
> 
> Welcome to your new life. It is not the worst of all possible decisions?


Yeah I know but it's not that easy .. Quite frankly I'm scared to death of the fallout if I leave .. I lose my home , the thought of not seeing my son everyday kills me . The idea of some other man living in my home and being around my child scares me I mean I hope he would be a good guy but you never know ? The financial fallout would be devastating .. Is probably have to get a second job and I already work 60 hours a week as it is ..my wife and I generally are civil to each other and don't fight. We co exist much like roommates . She's a great mother to our son. 

The last marriage counsellor we went to said "what exactly do you want joe" my answer .. The truth.. In order to fix this marriage which is what I really want she has to tell me everything , and I would do the same as well . Her attitude sucks she refuses to talk about the subject . That chapter of her life is closed and she refuses to discuss it .. That leaves me I'm a tough spot . The constant thoughts and images, the nightmares , at least if I knew the ugly truth I could process it and "move forward " as she always says but I guess I'll never know everything . Maybe it's better off if I don't .. Idk just some thoughts ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Whateves...if you get hurt deep enough you'll do anything to feel different. Even if it means doing crazy things like banging married women.

I don't hate for that.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Yeah I know but it's not that easy .. Quite frankly I'm scared to death of the fallout if I leave .. I lose my home , the thought of not seeing my son everyday kills me . The idea of some other man living in my home and being around my child scares me I mean I hope he would be a good guy but you never know ? The financial fallout would be devastating .. Is probably have to get a second job and I already work 60 hours a week as it is ..my wife and I generally are civil to each other and don't fight. We co exist much like roommates . She's a great mother to our son.
> 
> The last marriage counsellor we went to said "what exactly do you want joe" my answer .. The truth.. In order to fix this marriage which is what I really want she has to tell me everything , and I would do the same as well . Her attitude sucks she refuses to talk about the subject . That chapter of her life is closed and she refuses to discuss it .. That leaves me I'm a tough spot . The constant thoughts and images, the nightmares , at least if I knew the ugly truth I could process it and "move forward " as she always says but I guess I'll never know everything . Maybe it's better off if I don't .. Idk just some thoughts ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



joseph242 I was going to ask you before you leave to just be honest with yourself and with TAM and admit that you have been acting like a POS and failing to take the much needed corrective actions to try to save your marriage and protect you son because you are a coward who is afraid to do the right things. Admit that you are not the kind of father that you even want you son to look up to.

But

You have pretty much done that in the quote above so I will simply acknowledge it.


You are delusional if you think you will get what you want, as stated above.

You and your wife have burned down your marriage.

The bend and kinks of your moral character(s) were the accelerant. 

It would take a considerable amount of character and effort to get the bend and kinks out of the wire hanger that is (both of your) personalities.

You are standing, looking at the smoldering heap that is your marriage and you "wish" and "want" it to be different. Denial. Denial. Denial.

ATM you are incapable of even taking the first step toward clearing the rubble and rebuilding. 

I am sorry, I hope you come to your senses.
Take care!


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Yeah I know but it's not that easy .. Quite frankly I'm scared to death of the fallout if I leave .. I lose my home , the thought of not seeing my son everyday kills me . The idea of some other man living in my home and being around my child scares me I mean I hope he would be a good guy but you never know ? The financial fallout would be devastating .. Is probably have to get a second job and I already work 60 hours a week as it is ..my wife and I generally are civil to each other and don't fight. We co exist much like roommates . She's a great mother to our son.
> 
> The last marriage counsellor we went to said "what exactly do you want joe" my answer .. The truth.. In order to fix this marriage which is what I really want she has to tell me everything , and I would do the same as well . Her attitude sucks she refuses to talk about the subject . That chapter of her life is closed and she refuses to discuss it .. That leaves me I'm a tough spot . The constant thoughts and images, the nightmares , at least if I knew the ugly truth I could process it and "move forward " as she always says but I guess I'll never know everything . Maybe it's better off if I don't .. Idk just some thoughts ..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So what? You lose the house and only see your kid half the time...at least you'd be doing the RIGHT thing for once.

This isn't a marriage.


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

tulsy said:


> So what? You lose the house and only see your kid half the time...at least you'd be doing the RIGHT thing for once.
> 
> This isn't a marriage.


I agree but I'm scared to be honest. .. I don't want to lose my house I like my house .I've worked my ass off for everything I have and now it's all gonna go away . She's got nowhere to go and can't support herself or my child so I'll be paying for her and probably one of her greaseball boyfriends to live in my home. It's my obligation to keep a roof over my sons head . Believe me I've thought about divorce and even talked to a good lawyer. .. He said save the marriage if possible at least till I get my finances straight and finish paying support for my oldest son ( I year and counting) .she has already said she's gonna "take me to the cleaners " if and when we split. 

But I think what life would be like without her and it's like a ray of sunshine shining down on me . I've been miserable for years . Maybe there is life after this . It's just been. 12 years with this person and it's hard to let go even though it's toxic I know .. Thank you to everybody for the help and good advice I really appreciate it .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Decorum said:


> joseph242 I was going to ask you before you leave to just be honest with yourself and with TAM and admit that you have been acting like a POS and failing to take the much needed corrective actions to try to save your marriage and protect you son because you are a coward who is afraid to do the right things. Admit that you are not the kind of father that you even want you son to look up to.
> 
> But
> 
> ...


Ok fair enough .. I'll agree with you on most of this .. And thank you for the constructive criticism .. But I have one question for you. If saving my marriage and family is what I really want and it is..then how the hell do I do that ? How am I ever supposed to love her the way a man should love his wife after all her betrayal and humiliation ? Also her refusal to discuss my feelings on the subject is downright disrespectful and cold hearted . I guess I tried to get even by going on my stupid sex rampage but it backfired and made everything 10x worse .. So what do you propose I do to fix this ? Thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

joseph242 said:


> Ok fair enough .. I'll agree with you on most of this .. And thank you for the constructive criticism .. But I have one question for you. If saving my marriage and family is what I really want and it is..then how the hell do I do that ? How am I ever supposed to love her the way a man should love his wife after all her betrayal and humiliation ? Also her refusal to discuss my feelings on the subject is downright disrespectful and cold hearted . I guess I tried to get even by going on my stupid sex rampage but it backfired and made everything 10x worse .. So what do you propose I do to fix this ? Thanks
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


File and have her served. Personally I think she will break.

Do you disagree?

She has you right where she wants you. She can cake eat and probably cheat and you give her legitimacy as a wife and mother.

If she lost that she would not be worth much to any decent man and she knows it.

I also think she believes that she cannot control herself or be happy without cheating. It is a self decption.

She also knows that she can manipulate you. Once that is gone her status as a woman will be exposed, and she does not want that. I think that is why she is still with you, for appearance.

If she does not break you get divorced. Maybe down the road she will have learned to be a decent person, but you may have moved on by then.

What happens when she breaks?

If you cannot get past it then you cannot reconcile- you will get divorced or live in your current hellish limbo.

Personally I don’t think she will be able to stick out a true reconciliation, but who knows, if she can see the opportunity and the value in it then anything is possible.

My advice? Dont settle for ANY THING LESS!

Most likely your worst fears will be realized and you will be divorced.

*How do you overcome fear? For me I visualize the worst thing that can happen and make peace with it!*

It’s your move.


.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

*Re: Re: Revenge !!*



Decorum said:


> File and have her served. Personally I think she will break.
> 
> Do you disagree?
> 
> ...


I agree. You cannot save something until you are ready and willing to lose it.


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## Suspecting2014 (Jun 11, 2014)

bfree said:


> I agree. You cannot save something until you are ready and willing to lose it.


I totally agree. 
From the description you do of how she reacted I can see these :
1. U r really scared to divorse. U r not doing any kind of separation. 
2. She is even more scared than u but knows u r not doing anything. 
3. She has taken u for granted so as she is stable why confesse. She thinks if she come clean u will go. Thats why she is ok with u cheating
What can u do? 180 to start, this way u learn how to be without her. And as a collateral effect she will freak out.
The Gold is u being detached enougth or at least not scared of being divorse, and she will notice.
As far as u do 180 for u and not for her to react it will change everything. 
Also u should ask her, in a very calm way, what does she want from this marriage, and what does she think that should be done to get it, dont figth or judge about the answers, u just need to know what she thinks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

I want to thank everybody for their good advice I've been getting here lately. To be honest I came here expecting to be praised for my recent behavior you know "high fives" way to go man type of stuff . But it backfired and what I really got was a reality check .. Big time . I realized I'd been being a major douche .. I guess my over inflated male ego took over . 

What I realized is that by doing what I did I wasn't getting revenge but hurting myself,my family, and innocent people who did nothing to me . I had become worse than my wife .. Much worse . It took you guys to make me realize that this situation is affecting my child . He's 4 and is already showing signs of having a nervous tick . He puts his hands in his mouth constantly the doctor says it's from anxiety . He can probably feel the tension in the household and has seen horrible fighting . It's not about me anymore .. 

I realized that I'm not a cheater by nature because let me tell you it sucks . The lying,sneaking around, hotel rooms, guilt, always watching your back .. It's not for me plus the sex is meaningless . At least in my case it was. It takes a special kind of human being to do that and that's not who I really am.

I think my next move is gonna be a short term seperation/180 type of thing I need some time alone to sort things out and maybe my wife will wake up and get serious about reconciling because after all the rotten things she's done I still love her . I married her because there's no other woman that compares to her . I just hope she wakes up. I'll be checking in and thank you guys for everything ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

joseph242 said:


> I want to thank everybody for their good advice I've been getting here lately. To be honest I came here expecting to be praised for my recent behavior you know "high fives" way to go man type of stuff . But it backfired and what I really got was a reality check .. Big time . I realized I'd been being a major douche .. I guess my over inflated male ego took over .
> 
> What I realized is that by doing what I did I wasn't getting revenge but hurting myself,my family, and innocent people who did nothing to me . I had become worse than my wife .. Much worse . It took you guys to make me realize that this situation is affecting my child . He's 4 and is already showing signs of having a nervous tick . He puts his hands in his mouth constantly the doctor says it's from anxiety . He can probably feel the tension in the household and has seen horrible fighting . It's not about me anymore ..
> 
> ...


Just something to ponder. To the male BS here, you realize you have crossed into the zone of the POSOM, right?

I know you say you've reformed, but for a couple of men out there, you will forevermore be a POSOM. 

I have a POSOM. It occurred many years ago, yet I found out only several months ago. Since then, he has had to admit to me that he is afraid to meet me. He's had to listen to another man (me) call him a coward, tell him he is afraid, scared. He's threatened to get a protective order against me, and hear me laugh at him, tell him those are for battered wives, not men. I told him to wear a skirt to the courthouse. I told him he was not a man, but a mouse.

I went to his office, where he barricaded himself in a conference room in front of 6-8 fellow employees, while I asked them why they'd work with a man that was so scared and afraid.

That's the life of a POSOM. It will find you, too, if you persist. Do I sound like I'm going to forget, let this slide?


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

NotLikeYou said:


> joseph242, I understand completely where you are coming from.
> 
> Lets face it. People like you and I, unbelievably attractive, highly intelligent, modest, absolutely CRUSHING the Creative Writing course we are taking at the local JuCo, and morally impaired, are rare.
> 
> ...


I gotta say I love this post . I wanted to thank you for writing it. I've read it over and over again (probably about 50 times) to be exact . It was a real eye opener . It was almost like you got inside my head and were reading my mind or like you knew me for years .A little creepy perhaps but still great . You were however a little off on one minor detail.

When you said to fish one of the little scraps of paper out of my pocket with the woman's number on it you got it all wrong .. You never keep the actual piece of paper that's leaving a paper trail. What you do is immediately program the number into your cell phone and throw out the evidence , that's step 1.. Then you have to assign that number with a fake alias to throw your spouse off. You know in case you're in the shower and leave your phone on the counter .for example "Michelle" would be "mike" or "Susan " would be "Steven" . Pretty good trick huh? I actually learned it from my wife . But in her case "Corey"was " Cathy" and "Pete"was "Amber" (don't know how she came up with that one) ?? . It had me fooled for years !! I can't believe I never thought of that myself so simple but at the same time so effective . 

What I've learned from the whole experience is that cheating sucks . You have to lie,sneak around ,always watch your back, and everybody gets hurt in the end . It takes a real scumbag to live that life and I did . I thought if I screwed everything I could get my hands on I could re claim my manhood but I was really only running from my problems .. Thank you for the amazing post sir well done !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Suspecting2014 (Jun 11, 2014)

Forest said:


> Just something to ponder. To the male BS here, you realize you have crossed into the zone of the POSOM, right?
> 
> I know you say you've reformed, but for a couple of men out there, you will forevermore be a POSOM.
> 
> ...


Do 180 hard, 100%, if u r not dont even try. 
You must learn to be with out her so una can chose to be with her, do un get me. 
Act asap, young children r very sensitive to toxic enviroment as u already mention. 
If after 180 and able to be alone u find a way to be with her, and want it, then do it! But if u dont just move on. 
Care for ur body as ur mind, stop doing thing that hurt u. Un need to be an example for ur kid
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joseph242 (Feb 4, 2013)

Forest said:


> Just something to ponder. To the male BS here, you realize you have crossed into the zone of the POSOM, right?
> 
> I know you say you've reformed, but for a couple of men out there, you will forevermore be a POSOM.
> 
> ...


Hey forest I feel your pain .. Same thing happened to me I found out a couple years after the fact . I think it makes it 10 times harder to cope with .you start trying to put together the pieces of what happened. My wife also tried to lie her way out of it got trickle truthed to death I'm sure you did too. My wife had a tight knit family lots of sisters and girl cousins and from what I gather they all knew what she was up to. . I guess she had pictures of the guy she was going around showing everybody and bragging about him. I guess he's in good shape had lots of time to work out in prison for 5 years .it burns my ass because they all knew and I think egged her on . Maybe one of them should have said "what are you doing you're married"right? I feel like a fool. 

So I got at least one POSOM in my life that I know of for sure and two others that I strongly suspect but can't prove .. Most days I wish they would die in a fiery car crash but what's that gonna solve ? At the end of the day I still gotta look at her if I choose to stay .. She's the one who spread her legs . If you feel you must go after this pos just be careful, the cops don't care if your wife cheated and you will get arrested . Trust me the police have been involved in my situation and they could care less what my wife did . They usually side with the woman . Just lookin out for you .

If one of the husbands I ****ed over came after me I wouldn't run .. I'd take what was coming to me because I deserve it. . Id give him a free shot them I'd defend myself . I hate that I became that guy . I'm sorry for what happened to you .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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