# My wife adopted a cat without my consent.



## Kahlil Gibran (Jan 27, 2014)

I’ll try to keep it brief. My wife loves cats but sucks at maintaining them. The litter box goes weeks without being cleaned and she does little about the fur on the furniture and if I’m the first one up (weekends and summers), I have to feed them or else listen to them howl and beg.
We once had 3 cats and were down to one (the two others died within the last 2 years).
When the one (her favorite) died two weeks ago, I said: “lets keep it at one for awhile.” She and my daughter were against my suggestion and said the one we still had is ok but doesn’t have much personality (which is true). Therefore, we were at a stalemate. I raised the issue about the messy, smelly liter box and they said it would be cleaned on a regular basis. They cleaned it twice over last two weeks.

While I was out of town for four days she and my daughter went to a shelter and adopted one. I had never agreed to this.

Of course they now are totally attached to him and I would be the total bad guy if I made her take it back.

I don’t want a huge argument, but I feel totally disrespected and angry.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

And your feelings are totally valid. Now what are you going to do about it?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Getting a pet should be a family decision. We've been discussing getting a dog, I'm not ready, I'm outvoted 3-1 right now, but still my wife is waiting for my blessing.

You are right - you are stuck. If you get rid of the cat you are the bad guy. You are right to be annoyed though. She should have gotten your blessing. The question is can you live with it? Is it worth the fight? Has she done this' or similar actions before like major purchases without your approval?

I've been a cat guy all my life. Never a good idea to bring a new cat into a home that already has a cat. They will fight, possibly start marking territory- all over your house and furniture. But what's done is done.

How old is your daughter? It's not difficult to feed a cat, or scoop poop. Make it part of chores/allowance?

EDIT: I just admitted on TAM I'm a cat guy. Let the man-lashings begin.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

There are self cleaning litter boxes...literally self contained, self cleaning ones.

However I am on your side for how utterly disrespectful your wife was to you.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm a cat person but I feel for you. I hate having 3 cats. 2 works pretty good as the cats entertain each other. The current 3rd cat was my wife's idea. I was not happy about it. A few months ago Wife came to me and exclaimed "if that cat does this (bad behavior) one more time I want you to kill it" I was stunned. I mean the cat in question has some sort of brain damage probably due to abuse by prior owner. He just doesn't learn quickly. Any way I was a bit excited at the idea of getting back down to 2. But apparently the brain damaged cat caught on to the plot and improved his habits. 

So disrespected. You laid down a law without consultation. The gals adopted a cat without consultation. Disrespect apparently fosters disrespect. OK so the important thing is how you handle your feelings, and how you move on to a more healthy pattern. Generally people are better off with their negative emotions if they receive an apology. Before you ask for one you should make your own apology for pushing your rule on them, and for stomping around angry for so long. The other thing is that their apology should include scheduled litter box care. 

Interestingly I've always considered dealing with poop and bugs to be guys jobs, But I don't do litter box care. So I guess I'[m a hypocrite on that point. Something to think about. 

Finally I would suggest that you both agree to 2 cats being a reasonable limit. IMHO three makes the house stink.
MN


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Go buy a motorcycle.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Cats are messengers of the Devil. And they treat us humans like servants.


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## Janky (Nov 26, 2013)

She clearly doesnt respect your opinion on the subject.

Why should they care about cleaning up after the cats, they know you are going to do it anyways.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

It was disrespectful of her to get another cat after you already said you weren't on board with it. 

Also, not changing the cat box is neglectful. I know it's "just a cat" but how would you like to do your business in an over-flowing outhouse each and every time? You're quite lucky that the cat isn't peeing and pooping all over the house. From my experience with cats, everyone I've ever owned or lived with (roommates cats) would start going outside of the box if it went too long between cleanings.

If daughter is old enough, (probably six years or older) she needs to scoop the litter-box every single day. It should be just as routine to her as brushing her teeth. 

Your house and likely clothing probably smells way worse, to strangers, friends, coworkers and family than it does to you. Cat pee and poop is rather pungent and if you think the cat box smells bad to you in your own home where you are "nose-blind" and desensitized to the smells, I imagine it smells worse to everyone else. Cleaning the cat box is not an option.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Go buy a motorcycle.


Where is the LOVE button?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Cats are messengers of the Devil. And they treat us humans like servants.


Boo. My kitty is the sweetest thing ever. He is my cat. So yes, I get up to feed him on weekends. But on weekdays he waits on me to get up. Which really is not that late... so no big skin off his nose.

But when I come home, he comes running to greet me. Most of the time, when he talks, he just wants to play. When I tell him something hurts when we play, he doesn't do it anymore.

You just have to get an awesome kitty.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Make a statement that you did not agree to this and you will not participate in the care and feeding of any of the cats! Bring together your wife and daughter and explain that you live in this house too and it was a complete disrespectful thing they did to bring in another pet with out your consent. Make it clear you will not tolerate over flowing litter boxes and being a hostage pet owner.


1. Do not ever feed the cats. Once you do it just one time, they will know to bug the crap out of you. 

2. If the litter box gets to be a mess, pick it up and put it on the floor beside her side of the bed.

Having said all of that, I am the pet person in our house and I haven't always had an actual "go ahead" from my husband. However, in my defense he says no to everything anyway so I just do what I want. I'm now down to only one pet and I'm kinda liking it this way!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Go buy a motorcycle.


That's what I did. Don't want to consult me on a decision that's going to affect my future for years? Fine. Two can play this game.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Go buy a motorcycle.


That's your answer to everything!


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## Kahlil Gibran (Jan 27, 2014)

I got in late last night, so this is still sinking in.

Side notes:
My wife is being super nice, which is refreshing but I know its because she knows she did a shi-ty thing.

The cat does seem like a really nice one, but part of me doesn’t want to allow myself to like it because of the way it was brought into the family.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> 1. Do not ever feed the cats. Once you do it just one time, they will know to bug the crap out of you.


That's pretty much my stance. I never feeds cats (they have an automatic feeder if my wife and kids are out of town). I only feed the dog if everyone else is gone, which is extremely rare. Same with the horses, I only feed if everyone is gone and I never ever ever shovel horse crap. My wife knows better than to ask me to do these things now. When she used to ask my response was always that I do not want any animals and if she can't take care of them that they need to go. I won't be unnecessarily cruel to the animals themselves, but I won't be involved if I don't absolutely have to.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> I got in late last night, so this is still sinking in.
> 
> Side notes:
> My wife is being super nice, which is refreshing but I know its because she knows she did a shi-ty thing.
> ...


Does she do this kind of thing often? Bypass you?

In any case, perhaps a clear understanding that if THEY don't keep up on the litter box, vacuuming, and feeding, there will be an ad up on Craigslist for the cat. But don't make boundaries you're not willing to enforce. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Awww, it's not the kitty's fault that the humans are inconsiderate. If y'all aren't going to be able to take care of this cat, then maybe finding a good home for it is the answer.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

PBear said:


> Does she do this kind of thing often? Bypass you?
> 
> In any case, perhaps a clear understanding that if THEY don't keep up on the litter box, vacuuming, and feeding, there will be an ad up on Craigslist for the cat. But don't make boundaries you're not willing to enforce.
> 
> ...


Eek, craigslist gets all kinds, including people who take free pets in order to torture them. Ok, that's mostly dogs that people take to train to fight, but still. I wouldn't give a pet away to a random person. She'd be better off at a no-kill shelter where they do screen potential owners.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

norajane said:


> Eek, craigslist gets all kinds, including people who take free pets in order to torture them. Ok, that's mostly dogs that people take to train to fight, but still. I wouldn't give a pet away to a random person. She'd be better off at a no-kill shelter where they do screen potential owners.


Whatever. The point is that the cat will be finding a new home. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> That's your answer to everything!


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> The cat does seem like a really nice one, but part of me doesn’t want to allow myself to like it because of the way it was brought into the family.


Don't punish the cat, just because your wife doesn't respect YOU.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> I got in late last night, so this is still sinking in.
> 
> Side notes:
> My wife is being super nice, which is refreshing but I know its because she knows she did a shi-ty thing.
> ...


Keep the cat.

Ditch the wife.


I kid! I kid!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Bring home a young hottie. She can sleep in the bed between you and your wife - along with the cat, of course.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> I got in late last night, so this is still sinking in.
> 
> Side notes:
> My wife is being super nice, which is refreshing but I know its because she knows she did a shi-ty thing.
> ...


Well it isn't the cat's fault it was brought into the family.

You said you have a daughter - so why not instruct her that it is HER responsibility to care for the cat as in daily watering and feeding and TWICE A DAY LITTER BOX CLEANING.......two weeks before cleaning the box good lord what are you thinking? Your house must smell nasty - and when boxes aren't clean they can decide to pay you back by taking a tinkle on the couch, bed, your favorite pillow etc.

There are other things such as a self-cleaning litter box...expensive but they work. There are also, of course, watering and feeding dishes that you can fill periodically if getting up and taking care of them isn't something you want to do.

But sounds like a great opportunity to give daughter some responsibility. Since Mom sucks at it - then you need to teach daughter proper ways to care for an animal and responsibility.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

If I didn't clean box for two weeks, my cat would start doing his business next to it. Your cat must be very patient, lol.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My cousin's cat used to take a dump on HIS pillow when the litter box wasn't to the cat's satisfaction. Nobody else in the house , just his. And he was the one who had litter box duty...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kahlil Gibran (Jan 27, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> so I just do what I want.


How does your husband feel about that attitude?

It appears the consensus on this thread is its disrespectful and boorish.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> How does your husband feel about that attitude?
> 
> It appears the consensus on this thread is its disrespectful and boorish.


Oh ho no! You just called down the thunder pal!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Oh ho no! You just called down the thunder pal!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sure he'll survive my wrath...

Anytime I want something, I send the kids to ask my husband. He hems and haws and eventually agrees in his noncommittal way. 

If I ask, the answer is always no. While this has changed in the last year, for 28 years this WAS the way it was. 

How he felt about my getting a dog without asking him? He was pissed! He didn't want a dog. But I did and I was the one cleaning, caring, walking and training the dog and every single dog we've ever had since that first one. 

He would have every right to be angry if he was the one cleaning or walking or caring for the dog, but he wasn't. Sometimes he pitched in but the dog was my dog and my responsibility.

Early with our first dog he complained that the dog whined in the morning and my H didn't have time to deal with the dog. I told him not to. Don't look at the dog, don't talk to the dog, just ignore the dog and he will learn to wait for me to get up to care for him. It took 3 days but the dog learned to wait for Mom to wake up and not anyone else.

So, you have to ask yourself....are you being a curmudgeon? Or do you have a legitimate issue with the pet not being properly cared for!


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

So I have this neighbor who thinks having pets is a good way to teach her kids responsibility. When the dog is locked in the kennel without food or water for the weekend, I take water to her. I have a lot of very bad feelings about this situation. I could go on and on but inhumane treatment of pets is not the point of this thread. The point of this reply is: there are better ways of teaching responsibility than making a pet suffer, and if you do choose this way then be a responsible adult example, and make sure the chore is completed regularly. 
MN


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening Kahilgibram
That was a really awful thing for her to do. Awful because she has given you a responsibility without your consent.

I don't *like* cats, but I will do just about anything to take care of them if I have to. (remembering climbing on a wet rainy roof, at night, above a probably lethal drop into a canyon looking for our lost cat).

My wife has never understood that I don't want cats, but that I will never tolerate harm to cats. So I am also stuck - though she asked first and it was so important to her that I couldn't say no.

Try to let her know how unfair this is to you. That if she wants cats SHE needs to take care of them. But you are stuck


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening Kahilgibram
> That was a really awful thing for her to do. Awful because she has given you a responsibility without your consent.
> 
> I don't *like* cats, but I will do just about anything to take care of them if I have to. (remembering climbing on a wet rainy roof, at night, above a probably lethal drop into a canyon looking for our lost cat).
> ...



This is a big issue because animal people will not understand the reluctance of you curmudgeons and you curmudgeons will never see the benefit of having a pet. 

There is a difference between an over flowing litter box or the cat slinking between your legs because it wants food, and a starved dehydrated caged neglected animal! One calls for immediate action involving animal control and the other calls for ignoring the problem and getting the responsible party to step up.

You're going to have to adopt WOM's tough stance on pets.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

I'm an animal person and I understand that bringing another sentient, living being into the household is a group decision...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

CantePe said:


> I'm an animal person and I understand that bringing another sentient, living being into the household is a group decision...


In the best of worlds, it would be. 

But what happens when one person doesn't want a pet and everyone else does? Everyone is unhappy because one person doesn't want a pet? Or one person learns to ignore the pet and leave the care up to those who wanted the pet in the first place?


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

In my world it is that way. We discuss having animals before having them.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Anon Pink said:


> In the best of worlds, it would be.
> 
> But what happens when one person doesn't want a pet and everyone else does? Everyone is unhappy because one person doesn't want a pet? Or one person learns to ignore the pet and leave the care up to those who wanted the pet in the first place?


Not everyone gets an equal vote. My kids, for example, would be perfectly happy to live in Disney land and eat junk food all day. I, on the other hand, prefer not to. So for the good of the family, as an adult, I have to make adult decisions. 

The same things goes with pets. Kids are often all gung-ho on pets. Puppies and kittens rock! But as parents, decisions need to be made for the good of the family and the animals. In this case, the discussion should have been between the OP and his wife, and she knows it. Not the OP's wife and the daughter. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Well yes, obviously the adults have the burden of responsibility of pet care. Anyone who gets a pet and actually expects a child to follow through is rather foolish. 

My point was, if one parent wants a pet, the kids want a pet, the parent actually will be responsible for the care of the pet, why should everyone go without a pet because the other parent doesn't want a pet? Again, care of the animal falls to the parent who wants the animal.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Anon Pink said:


> Well yes, obviously the adults have the burden of responsibility of pet care. Anyone who gets a pet and actually expects a child to follow through is rather foolish.
> 
> My point was, if one parent wants a pet, the kids want a pet, the parent actually will be responsible for the care of the pet, why should everyone go without a pet because the other parent doesn't want a pet? Again, care of the animal falls to the parent who wants the animal.


And my point is that if one parent wants a pet, then they discuss it and come to an agreement, one way or the other. Let's imagine the wife wants a baby and the husband doesn't ( or vice versa, for that matter). Is it ok for the spouse who wants the baby to sabatoge their birth control to get what they want? Especially if junior wants another sibling?

And the OP's wife wasn't keeping up on the care of the previous cats... Why should it be any different with another cat?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Well yes, obviously the adults have the burden of responsibility of pet care. Anyone who gets a pet and actually expects a child to follow through is rather foolish.


Define "child". If you are talking about a 3 year old, ok, I can get with that. But when we, all of us, decided to get our cat, we agreed that we all wanted it. That included pet care from everyone. Since they had demonstrated the ability to be responsible, they got the cat. They feed it. They clean it litter box. Every day. Without being asked. Because they know that when they want something, they have to be responsible for it. Or it goes. (The lucky part is since they have learned this with considerably easier things in the past, the risk of them being irresponsible is teeny. Thus damage to the cat is teeny.)



> My point was, if one parent wants a pet, the kids want a pet, the parent actually will be responsible for the care of the pet, why should everyone go without a pet because the other parent doesn't want a pet? Again, care of the animal falls to the parent who wants the animal.


Because they are married? Live in the same house? With the pet?


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Will I get banned if I start telling dead cat jokes?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This would be hard for me, as I love cats too, and if I was in your shoes I would actually desire to welcome the little furball into my home. However, desire is irrelevant when it comes to respect.

Personally I would take the poor cat back to prove a point; one simply doesn't just overrule decisions that should be made as a couple. Let her off now and you're only encouraging her to disrespect you further. Is respect worth the fight? It sure as hell is.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

take a small dry erase board. divide it up into twenty sections with permanent marker. then, every morning(or evening), check the litter box. if you find that it has not been cleaned from the day before, draw an X (in dry erase) in one square. when it is cleaned, erase one x. 

explain that if all of the squares get filled up, you will find a new home for the new cat. that way, you give them time to prove that they will take care of it. and if they dont, they had plenty of warning and plenty of time to fix their issues. plus, that system actually requires that they figure it out and make a consistent effort. and you dont have to get upset. 

just be willing to rehome the cat if they dont take care of it. and, tell them that if you all dont come to a unanimous decision BEFORE getting any new pets, you will rehome any new pet they get, from this day forward. again, just be willing to do it if they decide to ignore your warning.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Go get a big dog. something that loves cats.

you could fake being allergic to cats. use that as an excuse to get rid of it.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> This would be hard for me, as I love cats too, and if I was in your shoes I would actually desire to welcome the little furball into my home. However, desire is irrelevant when it comes to respect.
> 
> Personally I would take the poor cat back to prove a point; one simply doesn't just overrule decisions that should be made as a couple. Let her off now and you're only encouraging her to disrespect you further. Is respect worth the fight? It sure as hell is.


I don't totally disagree with this, but rather than take the cat back I'd get the motorcycle, and as long as she has her cat you have your bike. Don't discuss it, just bring it home, and when she says something about it just tell her that her getting the cat against your wishes was her way of telling you that you don't have to take her wishes into account any more. 

Yeah, I'm a ****, but I'd be a **** with a bike.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

PBear said:


> And my point is that if one parent wants a pet, then they discuss it and come to an agreement, one way or the other. Let's imagine the wife wants a baby and the husband doesn't ( or vice versa, for that matter). Is it ok for the spouse who wants the baby to sabatoge their birth control to get what they want? Especially if junior wants another sibling?
> 
> And the OP's wife wasn't keeping up on the care of the previous cats... Why should it be any different with another cat?
> 
> ...


Cannot compare wanting a pet with wanting a baby. 

I don't think anyone should get a pet for a child under the age of 15 and even then it's going to end up belonging to the parents anyway when jr moves out..

Yes, I got your point PBear, I don't think this is "necessarily" something in which agreement is possible. Animal people will not be happy with out having one. While those who are not will never ever understand that need/drive/desire to have a pet, whether you're a cat or a dog person if that's who you are you will not likely ever be content unless you have one. And if your not, you will never understand that feeling. 

Which is why this is one of those issues where an agreement isn't always possible.



NobodySpecial said:


> Define "child". If you are talking about a 3 year old, ok, I can get with that. But when we, all of us, decided to get our cat, we agreed that we all wanted it. That included pet care from everyone. Since they had demonstrated the ability to be responsible, they got the cat. They feed it. They clean it litter box. Every day. Without being asked. Because they know that when they want something, they have to be responsible for it. Or it goes. (The lucky part is since they have learned this with considerably easier things in the past, the risk of them being irresponsible is teeny. Thus damage to the cat is teeny.)
> 
> 
> 
> Because they are married? Live in the same house? With the pet?


Getting a pet with the threat of rehoming it of the kids don't live up to their agreement teaches, IMO, the wrong thing about pet stewardship. I'm sure your kids are awesome and are living up to their promise. It's just that kids are ...children....some for many years after being able to buy a beer. My opinion is that if the parent isn't ready to take on the full responsibility of any pet, the pet shouldn't be brought home in the first place.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Do not feed the cat, and if they neglect him call animal control and tell them there's a neglected cat here. Get a self cleaning litterbox and if it fills up take the great suggestion of another poster and leave it by her side of the bed. Then sleep in a spare room or on the couch, and when she asks why tell her the box stinks and you're not cleaning it. Don't get upset, don't yell, remain calm, just demonstrate that you'll have no part of this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> Cannot compare wanting a pet with wanting a baby.
> 
> I don't think anyone should get a pet for a child under the age of 15 and even then it's going to end up belonging to the parents anyway when jr moves out..
> 
> ...


my parents had no problem getting rid of animals that i wanted if i didnt take care of them. they were just clear in their expectations. they only had to rehome a couple lizards i had when i was ten before i learned to take care of my pets on my own. having the consequence of losing the pet was what taught me to actually take the time to build proper habits in the first place. 

rehoming my pet after i neglected it taught me that having one and not taking care of it was not acceptable. later on, i had hundreds of animals(reptiles, tarantulas, etc), and my parents never had to take care of them at all. i eventually sold them all.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I agree with the sentiment As'laDian. It's just that I spent several years volunteering with a couple of dog rescues so I tend to take a very hard stance about the permanence of getting pet. They aren't for trial. The are for life.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> I agree with the sentiment As'laDian. It's just that I spent several years volunteering with a couple of dog rescues so I tend to take a very hard stance about the permanence of getting pet. They aren't for trial. The are for life.


well, i dont think dogs should be first pets. i agree with you on that one.
unless its the family dog. i grew up with large dogs, but they were always my mothers and she always took care of them. 

cats seem to be just fine as long as their litter box is cleaned and their food bowl is full. they take care of themselves. dogs, though, go neurotic without attention.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> I’ll try to keep it brief. My wife loves cats but sucks at maintaining them. The litter box goes weeks without being cleaned and she does little about the fur on the furniture and if I’m the first one up (weekends and summers), I have to feed them or else listen to them howl and beg.
> We once had 3 cats and were down to one (the two others died within the last 2 years).
> When the one (her favorite) died two weeks ago, I said: “lets keep it at one for awhile.” She and my daughter were against my suggestion and said the one we still had is ok but doesn’t have much personality (which is true). Therefore, we were at a stalemate. I raised the issue about the messy, smelly liter box and they said it would be cleaned on a regular basis. They cleaned it twice over last two weeks.
> 
> ...


 Take the cat back and yeah you'll be the rat in the wood pile so now you let your wife know that going behind your back like she did ever happens again then she'll have a snoot full of pissed off husband and let them both know that the first the litter box will be cleaned twice a week and if they can't do that then the cat goes. Say it like you mean it and mean what you say. Although I got a feeling that the new cat is going to find your lap the most comfortable of the three of you.


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## Canon in D (Aug 24, 2014)

I'm an animal lover so I can't advice you to rehome the cat. To me a pet is for life. I agree your wife was disrespectful in getting the kitty without your enthusiastic agreement. I scoop my cats litter box twice a day, doesn't matter if there's one cat or three cats. Stop doing it for them, let them be responsible for once, if you continue doing it they will never learn as they know you will do it anyway.


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## allwillbewell (Dec 13, 2012)

One of the biggest mistakes I ever made was similar. Called husband to ask if he would ok me purchasing a new puppy. He gave every reason why he didn' t want another dog but did not explicitly forbid it. He told me to do what I thought best assuming I understood his wishes. Well I didn't and made the wrong decision and he was furious. But we all believe pets are for life and she is still with us 13 years later. I never understood how disrespected and invalidated it made him feel at the time. I actually thought he 'd be pleased! But it was one of the mistakes I made in our relationship back then that that along with others he resented and held against me for years. While he grew to love the dog as I do she represents a very bad time in our marriage. He eventually began an affair and ironically used the excuse of walking the dogs to meet up with his AP...I kid you not!

We are in R now but if we ever talk about how that pup came to live with us its obvious he still harbors anger and resentment.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

allwillbewell said:


> One of the biggest mistakes I ever made was similar. Called husband to ask if he would ok me purchasing a new puppy. He gave every reason why he didn' t want another dog but did not explicitly forbid it. He told me to do what I thought best assuming I understood his wishes. Well I didn't and made the wrong decision and he was furious. But we all believe pets are for life and she is still with us 13 years later. I never understood how disrespected and invalidated it made him feel at the time. I actually thought he 'd be pleased! But it was one of the mistakes I made in our relationship back then that that along with others he resented and held against me for years. While he grew to love the dog as I do she represents a very bad time in our marriage. He eventually began an affair and ironically used the excuse of walking the dogs to meet up with his AP...I kid you not!
> 
> We are in R now but if we ever talk about how that pup came to live with us its obvious he still harbors anger and resentment.


 I believe this is how my husband would feel and probably did feel.

But I have to wonder why your husband didn't do both of the following:

1. Come out and say I don't want another dog.

And 

2. Tell me why this is so important to you right now? Is this an impulse or a strong need! What if we put this off for a week while we talked about it?

I kind of feel like if your husband didn't come out and say what was on his mind how did he arrive at the conclusion that you are a mind reader?


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## Kahlil Gibran (Jan 27, 2014)

allwillbewell said:


> But it was one of the mistakes I made in our relationship back then that that along with others he resented and held against me for years. While he grew to love the dog as I do she represents a very bad time in our marriage. He eventually began an affair and ironically used the excuse of walking the dogs to meet up with his AP...I kid you not!


Wow.
A lot of the sentiment is things should evolve into the “you did whatever the hell you wanted, so now I will.” Your husband took it to the extreme.


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## Kahlil Gibran (Jan 27, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> I believe this is how my husband would feel and probably did feel.
> 
> But I have to wonder why your husband didn't do both of the following:
> 
> 1. Come out and say I don't want another dog.


That’s nit picking for a technicality to do what he clearly didn’t want.
No, he didn’t say in exact words: “No freakin’ dog!” But, giving: “He gave every reason why he didn't want another dog” can hardly be taken any other way.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I agree with the sentiment As'laDian. It's just that I spent several years volunteering with a couple of dog rescues so I tend to take a very hard stance about the permanence of getting pet. They aren't for trial. The are for life.


100% agree Anon. I run a dog rescue, and while there are sometimes genuine reason for needing to rehome a pet, those are very rare...90% of the dogs we rehome should never have been acquired in the first place. Dogs are family, and for life, no matter what.

Anyhoo...I am an animal lover myself, go crazy over my fur babies - even bunny has a jumper, lol. But I would NEVER bring a pet home without discussing it with hubby, not fair.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

I'm a big time animal lover but I am going to go against the grain and say it's probably best to re-home the cat. While pets are a lifetime commitment, humans are far from perfect and occasionally a situation is so dire or ill conceived it merits searching for another home for a very loved (or in this case, not so loved) pet. 

Honestly, I work long hours and sometimes have "pet parent" guilt but a week or more of not scooping the litterbox is really disgusting and abusive. I mean, it's waste product. If I go two days without scooping my cat will start howling until it's done. And I can't even imagine having someone in my home comfortably with that smell. 

Like I said before, I'm fairly chillax regarding pets because I love them. Cat or dog hair on the sofa? Cool. Festering animal waste in your home? Um. I really think you should find a (better) home for the cat. 

It was extremely unfair for your wife to do this when she is not a good animal caretaker. I really empathize with your situation. I am currently taking care of two animals and while it's going well, I know that adding another would totally offset the balance in my home and make it stressful. Sucks because pets should be enjoyed - and loved!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Nucking Futs said:


> I don't totally disagree with this, but rather than take the cat back I'd get the motorcycle, and as long as she has her cat you have your bike. Don't discuss it, just bring it home, and when she says something about it just tell her that her getting the cat against your wishes was her way of telling you that you don't have to take her wishes into account any more.
> 
> Yeah, I'm a ****, but I'd be a **** with a bike.


Only problem with that is what if she goes "ok awesome"... then OP is fked lol

Overruling will become acceptable, chaos will reign!


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I must say this is a very understanding forum. I've said some pretty crazy things on this thread and no one has beaten me up over it. You know when My wife brought home cat #3 I didn't feel the sense of betrayal and disrespect I'm seeing here. This is why. I have a firm belief that my wife is an intelligent adult. She is capable of making decisions on the spot without calling for consultation. I believe that that respect for her is important to our relationship. 

It also doesn't hurt that #3 wasn't ever intended to be a permanent addition to the family. We were perhaps overly optimistic that the same people who would dump an injured cat in a parking lot would claim him back. We thought that perhaps there was a third party involved. 

MN


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

bandit.45 said:


> Go buy a motorcycle.





NobodySpecial said:


> Where is the LOVE button?


 :smthumbup: :iagree:

You must do something about this. She basically said "Fvck you. Im doing what I want because your wants do not matter". And even worse, she did it with your daughter, which makes your daughter respect you less as well.

I would go buy something really nice for myself, or do something bold. Like this:

(2 months from now)
"Ok gals, have fun and ill see you in 2 weeks!"
"Where are you going?"
"Im going to Vegas with a few of my boys at work. Ive been wanting to do this for awhile, so I planned it."
"Umm.. were you planning to talk with your WIFE first?"
"Nah. Wouldnt matter if you agreed anyways- Id still do it. I mean, thats what you did with the cat you adopted right? Toodles love; dont forget to clean the catbox."

:FIREdevil:


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> ... I tend to take a very hard stance about the permanence of getting pet. They aren't for trial. The[y] are for life.


Unlike marriages.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

So, KG, what are you going to do?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> I’ll try to keep it brief. My wife loves cats but sucks at maintaining them. The litter box goes weeks without being cleaned and she does little about the fur on the furniture and if I’m the first one up (weekends and summers), I have to feed them or else listen to them howl and beg.
> We once had 3 cats and were down to one (the two others died within the last 2 years).
> When the one (her favorite) died two weeks ago, I said: “lets keep it at one for awhile.” She and my daughter were against my suggestion and said the one we still had is ok but doesn’t have much personality (which is true). Therefore, we were at a stalemate. I raised the issue about the messy, smelly liter box and they said it would be cleaned on a regular basis. They cleaned it twice over last two weeks.
> 
> ...


Yup. While you were away, your wife just showed your daughter how to disrespect you. When you aren't around, you don't matter. What will be next?


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## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

I don't understand why you don't want to be the bad guy? Take your wife and daughter off the pedestal and do what's right. Who gives a flying fig what they think. 

Quit doing for your wife. She does it because you let her. Next time that litter box is full, tell her it needs to be cleaned. When she doesn't do it, put it next to her bed so she sees it. What ever you do don't clean it!!!

Your wife's behaving like the oldest teenager in the house. Treat her accordingly.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I had 3 inside cats when me and the BF met. We planned on moving in together (over a year later) and he wanted me to get rid of the cats because he said he hated litterboxes. Well, THAT wasn't going to happen.....I already had the cats when we met, they were part of the package. BUT I made a compromise with him and when we moved, the cats became outside cats. Honestly (although one did end up dissappearing  ) I am much happier now too! The cats LOVE being outside, none of us have to worry about litterbox, the BF is happy, and the cats do sneak in occasionally for a love/couch session from time to time.


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## dazed794 (Aug 31, 2014)

Luckily my wife isn't a pet person. But if she ever changes her mind she knows that it's either the pet or me. I've been clear about that since we met. I hate pets and am allergic to the common ones.

Tough situation you're in. Obviously she doesn't respect you but now that the cat is there there's not much you can do about it. And she knows that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allwillbewell (Dec 13, 2012)

When I bought the dog without his blessing I did it more for myself and daughter..on impulse. Knowing full well that I would have 100% of its care, vet bills just like I did for all our other pets.

Anon pink, he didn't come right out and say "do not buy he dog" because he is extremely non-confrontational, still is. That was a big part of the dysfunction in our marriage at the time : he would harbor resentment and anger, have needs unmet but would not communicate with me about them. He has admitted he gave up on working out our problems because it was easier to have needs met by OW and used that relationship to escape the conflict he couldn't face in our marriage.

I don't mean to hijack this thread...but only wish to emphasize how important it is in a marriage to make consensual decisions...when a partner begins making unilateral decisions, it makes the other feel invalidated and disrespected..and yes, they can feel so justified in making their own unilateral, decisions to the extreme of inviting a third party into the marriage.

So sad that this lovely, sweet dog wil always symbolize to us a very painful period in our marriage where we both disregarded the other.


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## Kahlil Gibran (Jan 27, 2014)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> So, KG, what are you going to do?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Still deciding. I’m stuck. There is an incredible overflow at the no-kill cat shelters in town. They aren’t taking in any new cats. They have reduced the rate for adopting a cat from $65 to $5 to give you an idea had bad it is. Of course my daughter adores the cat. Taking the cat to the city shelter where they euthanize it if it isn’t adopted in two weeks seems cruel to both the cat and my daughter.

I certainly would never mistreat the cat no matter how much I resent it being there. Its not in my nature.

My wife knows I’m pissed. I’m sure she has built up an arsenal of comebacks when the argument begins (well, you bought a new lawnmower without asking me, etc.) (side note, I do all the yard work and the old mower broke beyond repair).


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

if it were me I'd take the cat back to the adoption agency.

You're already the bad guy for pointing out the basics: you stated you didn't want another cat, they don't clean up after it sufficiently, and they acquired it anyway.

They started this war, you can finish it.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> Still deciding. I’m stuck. There is an incredible overflow at the no-kill cat shelters in town. They aren’t taking in any new cats. They have reduced the rate for adopting a cat from $65 to $5 to give you an idea had bad it is. Of course my daughter adores the cat. Taking the cat to the city shelter where they euthanize it if it isn’t adopted in two weeks seems cruel to both the cat and my daughter.
> 
> I certainly would never mistreat the cat no matter how much I resent it being there. Its not in my nature.
> 
> My wife knows I’m pissed. I’m sure she has built up an arsenal of comebacks when the argument begins (well, you bought a new lawnmower without asking me, etc.) (side note, I do all the yard work and the old mower broke beyond repair).


That's apples and oranges. A working Lawnmower is a necessity. Did she say "do not get a new Lawnmower" then you did it anyway? How did she expect the grass to get cut? Another pet isn't. Unless you bought the top of the line Cadillac lawn mower she's just looking for a fight.

How old is your daughter? Like I said earlier old enough to scoop the poop. Has wife assured you the litter box will be cleaned? I'd give them a six month trial run, or the cat goes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> I’ll try to keep it brief. My wife loves cats but sucks at maintaining them. The litter box goes weeks without being cleaned and she does little about the fur on the furniture and if I’m the first one up (weekends and summers), I have to feed them or else listen to them howl and beg.


eeeewww cats! Nothing worse that a cat woman when you prefer dogs. It would be a deal breaker to me. One whiff of the litter box, and i would be making trail.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

OP, I totally understand the fuss about the cat on your part. But, I think you need to step back and look at the big picture. There has to be bigger issues at play here.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Here is what I would do

Sit down with wife and have a serious conversation.

a) You have a long history of neglecting animals.....why are you even thinking about getting new ones?
b) while are you making decisions on your own without me.

a) is something that SHOULD be a reality check to her
b) is the important issue you need to focus on

Personally, this wouldn't go over well in my household. I would let the cat out or drop it off in the middle of nowhere if my wife was to pull something like this.

But she wouldn't, cause she is a great partner and includes me in these sort of decisions.

You need to figure out why your partner does not and steamrolls over you.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

how about hop in the car, drvie to a cat rescue place 50 miles away, drop off the cat annonymously, then say "cat, uh, what cat. She must have run away"

after this happens a couple times, she might get the hint


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## muffin1983 (Sep 1, 2013)

To the OP, my husband did the same thing years ago and unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it.

My husband got our dog without getting approval. He asked. I said no. The reason being I had just moved back home from working overseas for a year and it wasn't a good time to be adopting a pet as I had no job and was readjusting to living back in Canada and with my husband again. Still, he came home with the puppy and unfortunately I was left to train it and what not.

The only upside to the situation was the dog bonded with me as oppose to my husband and is "my dog" if you know what I mean and that really bugs my husband.

We did have a talk months after the dog came home and I said if he ever did something like that again, I would probably leave him. Even though it was just an animal I felt really disrespected that he got one without both of us agreeing.


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## justfabulous (Feb 9, 2014)

If the acquisition was an inanimate object, you could get rid of it, take it back, or force your wife to return it. In this case however, there is a feeling, thinking living being at the center of this, and compassion for the cat has to factor in here. Re-homing is extremely stressful to cats, much more so than they even let on. Shelter-life is also highly stressful for them, often traumatic. The cat has settled into your home, believing that she now has a family to love her. She has undoubtedly already formed attachments to the family and is beginning to love her new people. It would be terribly unfair to this little gal to uproot her once again. She's not at fault for any of this. Cats are much more deeply feeling and emotional animals than they are given credit for. Because animals are not objects or possessions, and bouncing them around when all they want is family of their own to love is very traumatic for them, it would be wrong to evict her. With there being such a feline overpopulation problem, you never know what her fate will be if you send her away. And for certain she will be heartbroken.

However, I agree that you really need to sit down with your wife to discuss this very seriously and address the disrespect and disregard she demonstrated. The fact that she does not responsibly care for the cats should be addressed. The fact that she has sent a very bad message to your daughter should be discussed. The 3 of you should have a family meeting in which your wife agrees in advance to acknowledge in front of your daughter that it was highly improper of her to go behind your back, and she should apologize to you. In that discussion it should also be established that the 2 of them are going to need to become responsible and care for these kitties because what they are doing to the cats is very unfair. Point out that cat's have a sense of smell that is many times more powerful than people's, and they are extremely clean animals. Making cats use a soiled litter box is tantamount to a human having to walk over the floor of a restroom that is covered in feces and urine to get to the toilet - only to find that is hasnt been flushed in days and is full to the brim. Disgusting! Not something you do to someone you love. Perhaps your wife has never considered this from the cat's perspective and it should be explained to her. Ask her how she can possible do this to her cats and claim to love them at the same time. As their "guardian" or "pet parent", she's letting them down big time. She might want to think about this. If she truly does love her animals, hopefully explaining to her what this is like for them will help her get her act together in caring for them. If these cats aren't already doing their business outside the box, they are incredibly tolerant, but its terribly unfair to them. Tell you're wife that now that she's done what she's done, you fully expect her to stop acting like an irresponsible teenager and start looking after these poor cats properly.

As for someone's suggesting: " I would let the cat out or drop it off in the middle of nowhere if my wife was to pull something like this".... This is a living, feeling, thinking being. It would be cruel and unfair to so such a thing to the animal, and may quite likely endanger her. The cat is not at fault for anything - she's an innocent victim caught in the middle here. Given that she came from a shelter, she's probably already been thru some significant stress. Deal with the wife - not the cat. There are ways of getting the message to the wife about the seriousness of the matter without making the cat pay the price. Tell her if she ever shows that level of deceit, disregard, or disrespect again the marriage will be at risk, because this is a much bigger issue than the kitty cat. 

In the meantime, don't resent the kitty. Let your wife know you're being kind to the animal because you are a good and decent man, but she'd better not mistake that for being a pushover or take that to mean that you condone what she's done. 

Playing devils advocate, now, I think there is also the possibility that your wife may have simply made a very bad judgement call; its possible that its not as much of a respect issue as it appears. If she is the type who is very compassionate for, or sensitive to, animals, she may just have been feeling a strong emotional need to provide a home to someone who desperately needed one, since so many cats are euthanized daily simply because there are not enough homes. This can stir very deep emotions in some people, and with such a strong desire to act on her compassion, she temporarily had a lapse of good sense. She may have gotten caught up in the emotion and made a bad call.


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## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

Really this is simple. Why is everyone making this so hard. 

Tell your wife "get rid of the cat. If it's not re-homed in 2 weeks, I WILL TAKE IT TO THE. POUND"

I'm a huge animal lover. But that cats life is on your wife not you. Your wife has zero respect for you. Time to get some back.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

My girlfriend and I just brought her male cat home from getting neutered. 

This cat has terrorized me for weeks. Seeing him hobble around sore and miserable brings me no little amount of satisfaction. Azzhole cat...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> My girlfriend and I just brought her male cat home from getting neutered.
> 
> This cat has terrorized me for weeks. Seeing him hobble around sore and miserable brings me no little amount of satisfaction. *Azzhole cat*...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Redundant.


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## justfabulous (Feb 9, 2014)

I guess, really, the question needs to be asked: what is your relationship generally like with your wife? Do you feel respect is an issue, outside of this one situation? 

Again, when I step back and take a 2nd look at this situation, I can see the potential that this really may have been a bad judgement call that came about as a result of deep compassion. Just giving her the benefit of the doubt with not knowing the history of your relationship. Was it right, no. But depending on what her relationship is generally like with you, and what exactly was motivating her in making this blunder, it really affects the way you approach this with her.


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## justfabulous (Feb 9, 2014)

U.E. McGill said:


> Tell your wife "get rid of the cat. If it's not re-homed in 2 weeks, I WILL TAKE IT TO THE. POUND" I'm a huge animal lover. But that cats life is on your wife not you.


Problem with that is, the cat is the only one that's really going to suffer in this situation. As someone involved in animal rescue I can confidently say that you have no idea the emotional trauma all this bouncing around does to a cat. The cat is NOT the problem, don't make her pay the price. Sure you think it'll send a message to the wife. But its quite heartbreaking that the cat ends up the victim in this. 

First I think the OP has to really determine if this is a respect issue, as it appears. Or if the wife's compassion for all living creatures (an admirable quality in and of itself) took a bit of a wrong turn on this one. The approach would be very different, and the magnitude of the situation would be very different, depending on what's really at the root of this.

But the bottom line with your 'get rid of the cat' approach is that there is a sentient, feeling living being involved here, and what you suggest makes her the victim. Work thru these issues with the wife. Dont make the cat pay the price for the wife's action. There are other ways of dealing with this.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

If you love the cat, let it go.

If it comes back, rat poison.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

She bought a microwave oven tester?


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## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

justfabulous said:


> Problem with that is, the cat is the only one that's really going to suffer in this situation. As someone involved in animal rescue I can confidently say that you have no idea the emotional trauma all this bouncing around does to a cat. The cat is NOT the problem, don't make her pay the price. Sure you think it'll send a message to the wife. But its quite heartbreaking that the cat ends up the victim in this.
> 
> First I think the OP has to really determine if this is a respect issue, as it appears. Or if the wife's compassion for all living creatures (an admirable quality in and of itself) took a bit of a wrong turn on this one. The approach would be very different, and the magnitude of the situation would be very different, depending on what's really at the root of this.
> 
> But the bottom line with your 'get rid of the cat' approach is that there is a sentient, feeling living being involved here, and what you suggest makes her the victim. Work thru these issues with the wife. Dont make the cat pay the price for the wife's action. There are other ways of dealing with this.



Nonsense. This is a cat. Not a kid. Any marriage is more important than the emotional well being of an animal. 

It's all on his wife.


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## Canon in D (Aug 24, 2014)

If OP was to go ahead and return the cat without consulting the wife isn't it the same as disrespecting the wife? Tit for tat isn't right. A grown up will sit the child down and talk to the child, OP should do the same with the wife. How would an adult resolve an issue with another adult/friend/sibling? With respect. Talk to the wife, tell her how hurt you felt that she didn't consult you, tell her what is acceptable or not acceptable. Like what was said by the others, her emotional self may have caused her to act impulsively, which of course was wrong. Logical reasoning sometimes won't work with some women as some are more emotional than logical. OP may have to tap into his emotional side to talk to the wife.

By the way about the lawn mower issue, was the wife mad about it because OP didn't consult with her about the price?


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## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

Canon in D said:


> If OP was to go ahead and return the cat without consulting the wife isn't it the same as disrespecting the wife? Tit for tat isn't right. A grown up will sit the child down and talk to the child, OP should do the same with the wife. How would an adult resolve an issue with another adult/friend/sibling? With respect. Talk to the wife, tell her how hurt you felt that she didn't consult you, tell her what is acceptable or not acceptable. Like what was said by the others, her emotional self may have caused her to act impulsively, which of course was wrong. Logical reasoning sometimes won't work with some women as some are more emotional than logical. OP may have to tap into his emotional side to talk to the wife.
> 
> By the way about the lawn mower issue, was the wife mad about it because OP didn't consult with her about the price?



The flaw in your logic is that both actions are equal. They are not. She disrespected him and showed his daughter it's alright. TWO strikes right there. 

I may sit my child down and explain the wrong of his poor choice, but he still doesn't get to reap the rewards. You wouldn't let your kid keep a game he shoplifted because you sat him down and told him it was wrong?!?

She behaved like an impulsive teenager, she should be treated accordingly.


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## Canon in D (Aug 24, 2014)

*Re: Re: My wife adopted a cat without my consent.*



U.E. McGill said:


> The flaw in your logic is that both actions are equal. They are not. She disrespected him and showed his daughter it's alright. TWO strikes right there.
> 
> I may sit my child down and explain the wrong of his poor choice, but he still doesn't get to reap the rewards. You wouldn't let your kid keep a game he shoplifted because you sat him down and told him it was wrong?!?
> 
> She behaved like an impulsive teenager, she should be treated accordingly.


I understand where you are coming from. but to me, a cat is a living thing. If someone takes up the responsibility of wanting a pet it should be for life. Immaterial how difficult it is, its like having kids, if you want it, be responsible until they've grown up. So the wife should be doing her chores and the husband shouldn't be doing it because she didn't do her part. that won't teach her anything. 

And I like to think my view is not flawed. Just because it's different from yours don't mean it's wrong. We are entitled to our world view. And it's entirely up to OP to digest it.

Sorry, it's been forever. I didn't know there was a reply.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

So KG, it's been 5 months. How is life with the cat?


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## Kahlil Gibran (Jan 27, 2014)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> So KG, it's been 5 months. How is life with the cat?


Its still around. 
Had a firm conversation about it. She admitted it was wrong wouldn’t do it again without my input and consent. By then, I was between a rock and a hard place. My daughter adored the cat and had become attached to it (and still very much is), so I decided to let it stay.

Someone on this thread had the good suggestion regarding the self cleaning litter box. I looked into it and bought two of these on Amazon
Amazon.com: Omega Paw Self-Cleaning Litter Box, Pewter: Pet Supplies
and one of these
Amazon.com : Litter Genie Plus Cat Litter Disposal System with Odor Free Pail System, Silver : Litter Boxes : Pet Supplies

Made a big difference.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I just love a lazy, stuck up animal that mooches off me and makes me bag up its smelly sh!t. 


There is no secret why cats stick their butthole in your face. 


Spawns of Satan.


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## Angelou (Oct 21, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> I just love a lazy, stuck up animal that mooches off me and makes me bag up its smelly sh!t.
> 
> 
> There is no secret why cats stick their butthole in your face.
> ...


:rofl:


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Glad to hear things are OK. Good luck with the litter boxes hopefully that helps. Seems to be a good little cat. I've had nice cats and mean cats. Having a nice cat makes all the difference.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Canon in D (Aug 24, 2014)

*Re: Re: My wife adopted a cat without my consent.*



Kahlil Gibran said:


> Its still around.
> Had a firm conversation about it. She admitted it was wrong wouldn’t do it again without my input and consent. By then, I was between a rock and a hard place. My daughter adored the cat and had become attached to it (and still very much is), so I decided to let it stay.
> 
> Someone on this thread had the good suggestion regarding the self cleaning litter box. I looked into it and bought two of these on Amazon
> ...


I'm glad your wife admitted and recognized where she went wrong. Good to know it worked out for you. Hope your daughter is learning responsibilities from owning a pet too.


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

Kahlil Gibran said:


> I’ll try to keep it brief. My wife loves cats but sucks at maintaining them. The litter box goes weeks without being cleaned and she does little about the fur on the furniture and if I’m the first one up (weekends and summers), I have to feed them or else listen to them howl and beg.
> We once had 3 cats and were down to one (the two others died within the last 2 years).
> When the one (her favorite) died two weeks ago, I said: “lets keep it at one for awhile.” She and my daughter were against my suggestion and said the one we still had is ok but doesn’t have much personality (which is true). Therefore, we were at a stalemate. I raised the issue about the messy, smelly liter box and they said it would be cleaned on a regular basis. They cleaned it twice over last two weeks.
> 
> ...


I would be ticked too. A pet is something everyone has to agree to. It's bad for the family and bad for the pet. I'm not sure what you do though. What did your wife say?


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## IamSomebody (Nov 21, 2014)

Who feeds the cat? You should wake up the wife *AND *daughter in the morning when the cat wants to be fed. Turn the TV so loud they can't sleep. They can always set up a bowl of dry food when they go to bed. It is obvious neither one knows how to think ahead.

IamSomebody


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