# Totally Confused



## Back & Forth (Feb 27, 2012)

Ok here we go.... 

i live about 400 miles away from my mother.... we rarely talk on the phone.. but my mother will text me around once a day.. and she usually will say... at the end of the text... miss you...love you mom.. 

so my wife saw the texts my mother sent me and was upset with all the I love you's she sent me... ... she says my mother wants to control me or something... and wants me to feel guilty... 

so is this something my wife should be upset about or is she overreacting? Please help! thank you


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## wittyusername (Jul 30, 2012)

Your post is a tad vague, but I'll give it a shot.

Some parents/children have a departure routine like that, as if it's a nervous tick. My wife and her mother say "goodbye" on the phone in a long, drawn-out series of inside joke phrases exactly the same way every time they talk/email/text. I have an ex whose mother said "love you" about 43 times per day, give or take. She was just a loving, nurturing mom. Not overbearing at all.

Where is your wife getting the guilt accusation from? She wants you to feel guilty about what? Not being controlled? :scratchhead:


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Back & Forth said:


> Ok here we go....
> 
> i live about 400 miles away from my mother.... we rarely talk on the phone.. but my mother will text me around once a day.. and she usually will say... at the end of the text... miss you...love you mom..
> 
> ...


That would depend on the contents of the texts. You say that "at the *end* of the text" your mother says she loves you. What else does your mom say?

As a mother myself, I can understand sending a message everyday to my son to tell him I love him or miss him, just to let him know that he is in my thoughts. No control. No interference. Just a simple "I'm thinking of you" sort of text. I don't do that, but, as a mother, I can understand that.

However, if mom contacts you every day to give some sort of direction in your life and then ends her "rant" with "I love you", that could be a whole different story.


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## Back & Forth (Feb 27, 2012)

Wittyusername...i really have no idea.. my wife says my mom wants to know everything i do... and she wants me to feel guilty i don't live closer to her.. where is she getting this from?

Legaldocument.....that is what i've been trying to do.. I didn't mention my wife called my mother a f...b... and some other negative stuff(how should i handle that?) I ignored it

Suvivorwife....my mom will ask me how my day is going; what did you do today, good night, good morning, those types of texts.. then at the end of text she'll say love you mom

thanks


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## Back & Forth (Feb 27, 2012)

legaldocument said:


> You can't allow your wife to use abusive words for your mom. She is reacting too much. And I pity on you for such a difficult scenario. You must talk to her that what exactly she want and how much can you deliver. Get settled on something.
> 
> Also ask your mother to minimize her texts. Give her excuse like you can't read all the texts while working or while you are busy. Infact you call your mother thrice or four times a day during work.


Thank you for your concern. I've tried to tell her she shouldn't say those things about my mother, but she has been doing this for a while this isn't the first time. Plus during that argument she kicked my bag and kicked over my trash can. I left the house and went for a walk; and almost contemplated not coming back. but she kept calling my cell phone, so i picked up and explained that i should be able to text my mother.. she finally calmed down... but even yesterday when we were talking and i brought up my mother she didn't want to talk about it and i could tell she was starting to get upset, so i stopped. She has a quick temper and gets upset very easily, which i can't stand. I am a calm person most of the time. 

My mother texted me on average once a day... we talk on the phone maybe once a month... i don't think that is excessive.. and i don't text her back right away only when i have a chance, sometime during the day.


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## star2916 (May 21, 2013)

What about when the Mom keeps telling your significant other " I love you SO MUCH" every day and it she doesn't heard from him in a day or so she get mad and tells him ... what happened? did they sequestered you ?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Little early for a Halloween zombie thread...

C


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