# Just Venting



## NeedHelpPlease (Nov 21, 2012)

I am just venting. I am really trying to come to terms with everything. And I know I need to support H. But the more lies I find out about the more I am crushed. I know I am supposed to forgive everything before the detox and treatment.

But if all of that is to be forgotten and forgiven then I know he never loved me for me. I just provided that haven where he could drink. So if we are supposed to "move past that" to me that means our marriage was built on a mound of empty bottles. This just sucks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

I'm sorry you're going through this. If you're not already in a support group please attend one in your area, if you are already a part of one, please keep going. Now is a time for support for yourself.


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## NeedHelpPlease (Nov 21, 2012)

trey69 said:


> I'm sorry you're going through this. If you're not already in a support group please attend one in your area, if you are already a part of one, please keep going. Now is a time for support for yourself.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NeedHelpPlease (Nov 21, 2012)

I have found a group and I "tried" to go. I have one of those crazy weak problems in that I totally suck and can't just walk into a new meeting by myself. I know it sounds weird to other people but my doc is saying I have depression and major OCD. I want to do it. I want to walk into a meeting and listen and maybe talk. But I can't. I can't even get out of my car because I don't know when the right time to approach is and I don't know what door to use and I don't know what to do once I am in there. I feel like everyone will be looking at me and thinking I am such an idiot. I know I am weak and that is my fault. I do also know I need a support group. But I am so afraid. I've always been able to do everything on my own but this scares the crub out of me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

NeedHelpPlease said:


> I have found a group and I "tried" to go. I have one of those crazy weak problems in that I totally suck and can't just walk into a new meeting by myself. I know it sounds weird to other people but my doc is saying I have depression and major OCD. I want to do it. I want to walk into a meeting and listen and maybe talk. But I can't. I can't even get out of my car because I don't know when the right time to approach is and I don't know what door to use and I don't know what to do once I am in there. I feel like everyone will be looking at me and thinking I am such an idiot. I know I am weak and that is my fault. I do also know I need a support group. But I am so afraid. I've always been able to do everything on my own but this scares the crub out of me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Its time to let go of what you can no longer control. Sometimes you have to actually make yourself do things you don't always want to do. I bet you are very courageous, now is the time to do just that.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Sounds like your marriage was built on a foundation of sand. Perhaps you are right, it was all a lie. 

Plus, you don't HAVE to forgive his behavior unless you are ready. Forcing feelings just breeds resentment.


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## Thomaseque (Dec 27, 2012)

Can you not find a trusted friend or family member to attend a meeting with you? I think that attending a support group would really be beneficial to you.

I know that it must seem daunting, the idea of walking into a meeting, but trust me, most of the people who attend support groups do not bite -- they are there to help one another.

Baby steps! Good luck and Happy New Year.


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