# I want out!



## over30 (Jan 8, 2011)

We have been married for 30 plus years. We have four fabulous children ranging from 28 to 13. I was a child myself getting married at 16 and no I was not pregnant. He was in college and was my first car date, my first kiss and my first everything. I have felt trapped for a very long time due to wanting everyting to be ok. I did not have the confidence that I could do it by myself. Well now I am over it and I want out. I went back home for new years and from the time I opend my eyes that morning until I walked back in the door 3 days later I was planning the divorce. So I told him when I got home. No warning, none. I feel like solid ice. Although I still want everything and everyone to be ok, I still want out. Okay... he was disfuncional for a couple of days, had to leave work early and take a day off. Says he understands but he does love me so much. He did not know how much til now. He just wants to be here to see our youngest two grow up. What if we live together seperated? What if we write an agreement about the household duties as well as parenting duties? I dont know... how is that seperating us, huh? I want freedom to LIVE and Laugh. I do not want to be controled?. Any ideas?[/I][/FONT]


----------



## nika (Jan 4, 2011)

Over30 I think you are doing a right thing, go ahead and get your happy life back you deserve it and you, as well as any of us, deserve to be happy and enjoy the life we live. No one is asking you to stop loving your husband, love him in your own way. And no one is asking him to stop loving you, let him continue loving you the way he does now. Whatever happens next you still be the closest people to one another as you spent so many years together and shared so many things. But if to be really happy you need to be free, then be free!


----------



## hopemom (Dec 22, 2010)

Work together, if you could behave differently with another partner or your husband could, why not try to do it together? If he is willing to make changes, be clear about what they need to be then give him a chance to do it. I am sure, like me, you did not do everything you could have during your marriage to make it work and get your needs met, try hard now. I don't care how old your kids are, they deserve your best effort at keeping this marriage together unless there are abuses or addictions.


----------

