# Separate Beds/Healthy marriage?



## gipsy13 (Feb 11, 2010)

I am a freelance writer working on an article for AOL online publication. Most couples, if they weren't already living together before marriage, make a fast transition to cohabitation - sharing beds and lifestyles. I am exploring couples who, for whatever reason, find it easier to have separate bedrooms (specifically couples under 50) but still consider their marriage to be healthy. This is not about couples who do not get along and therefore sleep in separate beds. It's because maybe one spouse snores too loudly or tosses and turns too much. Or maybe because they really can't agree on the type of mattress. We want to know what it's like to be married, like each other and not sleep in the same bed. Does it affect your relationship? If anyone would like to talk to me about this please respond here to get a good conversation going. If you would prefer you can message me privately. I don't have to use real names for the article if you would prefer I not. 

Thank you in advance!


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## BellaOnlineMarriageEditor (Feb 12, 2010)

Hi. My husband and I sleep in separate bedrooms because he snores and is a very restless sleeper. He also likes to watch TV and sleep very late whilst I'm up at 5:00am every morning and I need to sleep by 10:00pm the latest.

I'm 34 and he is 37. 
We love each other and consider our marriage to be a good one, we just don't sleep in the same bed.


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## gipsy13 (Feb 11, 2010)

Thanks for your response. This is exactly what I am researching.

Now - just to play devil's advocate and get the conversation going (NOT to offend)....some people would question the health of marriage with separate beds. What do you say to those that question that? For example, I go to bed early and get up early. My husband sleeps in the same bed but his job often keeps him out until halfway through my night. If we didn't sleep in the same bed, there are days we would never have any contact. Sometimes I feel that brief cuddle, hug whatever for the four hours we share sleeping is the only affection we get until the weekends.

How does that translate in your situation. (BTW - I'm not in any way trying to judge - I know sometimes tone is mistranslated on forums. I just want to hear your thoughts and encourage some others to share as well.)

Also - who gets the master bedroom? 

Thanks!


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

gipsy13 said:


> I am a freelance writer working on an article for AOL online publication. Most couples, if they weren't already living together before marriage, make a fast transition to cohabitation - sharing beds and lifestyles. I am exploring couples who, for whatever reason, find it easier to have separate bedrooms (specifically couples under 50) but still consider their marriage to be healthy. This is not about couples who do not get along and therefore sleep in separate beds. It's because maybe one spouse snores too loudly or tosses and turns too much. Or maybe because they really can't agree on the type of mattress. We want to know what it's like to be married, like each other and not sleep in the same bed. Does it affect your relationship? If anyone would like to talk to me about this please respond here to get a good conversation going. If you would prefer you can message me privately. I don't have to use real names for the article if you would prefer I not.
> 
> Thank you in advance!


I always start off in the main bed but rarely make it through the night because either:-

1. I'm snoring and wife kicks me out.
2. Shes snoring and I leave on my own.
3. 6 yr old climbs into bed and starts kicking me in his sleep so I leave.


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