# Very recent waw



## Needswork (4 mo ago)

New here, have been reading a lot of posts and trying to memorize the 180. I have a waw been gone about a month. But she like will text and have me up for dinner and then it’s like hot and cold water. Then she will block me and ignore me because we disagree about mutual finances … I saw it coming she told me in plain English and I still screwed it up. She would be all excited about a apartment she found and not understand why it upset me. She says it hurts her because her leaving hurts me ??? If this is true then why leave… I am far from an angel and have made a truckload of mistakes in this marriage.. I just need some recent waw guidance from the group


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

What is a waw?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Walk Away Wife?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

The advice is cut all communication that isn’t absolutely required and go immediately for divorce. There is no other solution.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> The advice is cut all communication that isn’t absolutely required and go immediately for divorce. There is no other solution.


Quoted for truth.
No other solution...go no contact. Let her w.a.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

RebuildingMe said:


> What is a waw?


Unfortunately it doesn’t mean “Wild About Waffle House” …. I know I am !!!


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

When your dog runs away you don't get it to come back to you by chasing it down the street. What you do is run the OTHER way, and when you look next to you, guess who is right there running alongside?


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Ok first, what are the truckload of mistakes?

Let’s work from this, and what she told you in plain English.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Do you have children? What are the reasons she's given you for leaving. If she is out finding apartments, has she had you served with divorce papers yet?


Needswork said:


> She says it hurts her because her leaving hurts me ??? If this is true then why leave


She is saying that to make HER feel better and is blowing smoke up your skirt. She is using it to keep you attached to her just in case she needs you for something.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

You mentioned the 180, but it sure doesn’t sound like you’re doing it. I would go no contact immediately. Don’t respond to her texts and calls and definitely. don’t meet up. Do that for 30 days minimum. No Contact. Perio

You need to let her miss you. Let her think you are okay with the breakup and are moving on. I know it’s sounds the opposite of what you are feeling…that’s why they call it 180.

WAW’s rarely come back on their own. And begging, crying, pleading will only push her away more. The only chance you have is letting her think YOU are walking away and she might regret her decision to leave.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Needswork said:


> Then she will block me and ignore me because we disagree about mutual finances


I feel like I've just said this on another thread. For anything important, do NOT communicate via electronics. No facebook, no whatsapp, no ticktock, no instagram, no reddit, no youtuber comments section. Only two people sitting with each other and taking turns to speak. These other things are literally mental illness.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Trident said:



When your dog runs away you don't get it to come back to you by chasing it down the street. What you do is run the OTHER way, and when you look next to you, guess who is right there running alongside?

Click to expand...

*But WHY would you encourage this man to try to get this woman back? He says he's made a lot of mistakes, but she's treated him like **** - she dumped him, blocks him at times, uses him other times, plays with his emotions, and ****s all over him when she's bored with him!

You don't encourage someone to try to win a vile person like this back. You encourage them to seek BETTER for themself.

OP, seek better for yourself. Find your dignity, find your self respect, and leave this POS in your past. Call a divorce attorney and be DONE with her.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Needswork said:


> I am far from an angel and have made a truckload of mistakes in this marriage


Have you figured out what those are?

Forget about "the 180", start rectifying your mistakes, either for this relattionship, *or the next one.*


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

She is now a cake eater and you need to block her completely and file and when get the divorce papers tell her she can either come home and work on the marraige or there is no marriage...there is no middle ground here


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

Well this is the second time we married the first we destroyed each other in every way possible. Then two years went by and we gave it a second go. I’m not meeting her needs emotionally would be the best way to put it. All our kids are grown. The past directly effects our present and I need to wrap my mind around that and make up for it


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

What did the kids say during the first split and when you decided to get back together? Were they happy for you?


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Needswork said:


> Well this is the second time we married the first we destroyed each other in every way possible. Then two years went by and we gave it a second go.


Given how well things went the first time, I can see why you gave it another go, and now that that's failed you're looking to save whatever's left. You can't possibly do any better with someone else. 

/sarcasm off


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Needswork said:


> New here, have been reading a lot of posts and trying to memorize the 180. I have a waw been gone about a month. But she like will text and have me up for dinner and then it’s like hot and cold water. Then she will block me and ignore me because we disagree about mutual finances … I saw it coming she told me in plain English and I still screwed it up. She would be all excited about a apartment she found and not understand why it upset me. She says it hurts her because her leaving hurts me ??? If this is true then why leave… I am far from an angel and have made a truckload of mistakes in this marriage.. I just need some recent waw guidance from the group


Stop the contact. Drop the hopium pipe and let her go.


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

I’m extremely codependent and the 180 is difficult. When you think about it , it shouldn’t be but I’m still hurt that she left. The nights are the worst because it’s just me and the cats. We have property, farm animals and mutual bills that have to be dealt with. I would love to walk away and start fresh elsewhere but that seems like a massive task given the financial responsibility I’m stuck with atm.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Did we ever figure out what a WAW is?


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## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

No...?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Needswork said:


> I’m extremely codependent and the 180 is difficult. When you think about it , it shouldn’t be but I’m still hurt that she left. The nights are the worst because it’s just me and the cats. We have property, farm animals and mutual bills that have to be dealt with. I would love to walk away and start fresh elsewhere but that seems like a massive task given the financial responsibility I’m stuck with atm.


You're partly right there... about starting over.
But you can do it with your mind & heart, you don't have to leave your farm or your responsibilities.
Talk to your lawyer and start the divorce. again.

Start by putting up "walls" wherever there is contact.
For example, you can deposit money for your part of a bill in an account and you never have to see or talk to your walkaway wife.

And get that freaking divorce! For good this time!
All communication can go through the lawyer, you don't have to see her except in court.

For your evenings...get a hobby. Get some single friends. Volunteer at a food bank.
In short, get your mind out of your despair.

She walked away. And now who knows who she's with.
Move on.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Sfort said:


> Did we ever figure out what a WAW is?


W.alk
A.way
W.ife


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> W.alk
> A.way
> W.ife


Never heard the term before.


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

Sfort said:


> Did we ever figure out what a WAW is?


Walk away wife


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Sfort said:


> Never heard the term before.


Yea, it's when... well, you get it 🤣


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Needswork said:


> I’m extremely codependent and the 180 is difficult. When you think about it , it shouldn’t be but I’m still hurt that she left. The nights are the worst because it’s just me and the cats. We have property, farm animals and mutual bills that have to be dealt with. I would love to walk away and start fresh elsewhere but that seems like a massive task given the financial responsibility I’m stuck with atm.


There is a book called co-dependent no more that I've seen good reviews for -- you may want to look into it:








Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself: Beattie, Melody: 2015894864025: Amazon.com: Books


Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself [Beattie, Melody] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself



www.amazon.com




You need to do this no matter WHAT happens -- it will help you in any future relationships.

As for your fears about the farm, finance, etc., get to a lawyer. They can clarify things for you and help you make a plan for moving forward. That will take out some of the fear of the unknown.
VERY sorry that you are in this, but you WILL be ok - it will just take time.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Sfort said:


> Did we ever figure out what a WAW is?


Answered in post #3


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Trident said:


> Answered in post #3


You missed the question mark at the end. That makes the response a suggestion, not an answer. There is a difference.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Sfort said:


> You missed the question mark at the end. That makes the response a suggestion, not an answer. There is a difference.


It was the correct answer, regardless of the question mark.


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

Sfort said:


> Did we ever figure out what a WAW is?


Walk away wife


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

Needswork said:


> New here, have been reading a lot of posts and trying to memorize the 180. I have a waw been gone about a month. But she like will text and have me up for dinner and then it’s like hot and cold water. Then she will block me and ignore me because we disagree about mutual finances … I saw it coming she told me in plain English and I still screwed it up. She would be all excited about a apartment she found and not understand why it upset me. She says it hurts her because her leaving hurts me ??? If this is true then why leave… I am far from an angel and have made a truckload of mistakes in this marriage.. I just need some recent waw guidance from the group


I really appreciate the guidance from most of the folks less the sarcasm. I honestly feel like I lost who I was long ago. Honestly it makes me angry with myself


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

Needswork said:


> Well this is the second time we married the first we destroyed each other in every way possible. Then two years went by and we gave it a second go. I’m not meeting her needs emotionally would be the best way to put it. All our kids are grown. The past directly effects our present and I need to wrap my mind around that and make up for it


Yours appears to be a love/hate relationship.
You must accept the situation for what it is that you both are not compatible, swallow the bitter pill, let go and move on, otherwise you`ll continue to be the long and suffering.
Unfortunately this is how life pans out sometimes.
Think about it.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Needswork said:


> I’m extremely codependent and the 180 is difficult. When you think about it , it shouldn’t be but I’m still hurt that she left. The nights are the worst because it’s just me and the cats. We have property, farm animals and mutual bills that have to be dealt with. I would love to walk away and start fresh elsewhere but that seems like a massive task given the financial responsibility I’m stuck with atm.


You will continue having a hard time as long as you are seeing her. Try to limit contact as much as possible. Only contact her via text or email. Don't call her unless absolutely necessary. You need to heal and that means not seeing her or hearing her voice. Any photos you still have of her, take down immediately. If you're friends on any social media, block her account so you don't see it. 

Doing this will help tremendously. My STBX devastated me by leaving and these steps have helped me beyond words. And oddly enough, she has started texting me, no doubt curious as to why I'm not begging and pleading. But I'm done too. And in time, you will see this is for the best.


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## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

SCDad01 said:


> You will continue having a hard time as long as you are seeing her. Try to limit contact as much as possible. Only contact her via text or email. Don't call her unless absolutely necessary. You need to heal and that means not seeing her or hearing her voice. Any photos you still have of her, take down immediately. If you're friends on any social media, block her account so you don't see it.
> 
> Doing this will help tremendously. My STBX devastated me by leaving and these steps have helped me beyond words. And oddly enough, she has started texting me, no doubt curious as to why I'm not begging and pleading. But I'm done too. And in time, you will see this is for the best.


Great advise sir !


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

For contact I’m all business . I try to act like all is good in the world but on the inside it’s a fight .. ( she isn’t worthy of my pain / I will give her no power ) is my mantra but damn it’s hard , I went for a hike , I cooked dinner , watched some tv .. overall a good day but still she is all in my head ..


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

SCDad01 said:


> You will continue having a hard time as long as you are seeing her. Try to limit contact as much as possible. Only contact her via text or email. Don't call her unless absolutely necessary. You need to heal and that means not seeing her or hearing her voice. Any photos you still have of her, take down immediately. If you're friends on any social media, block her account so you don't see it.
> 
> Doing this will help tremendously. My STBX devastated me by leaving and these steps have helped me beyond words. And oddly enough, she has started texting me, no doubt curious as to why I'm not begging and pleading. But I'm done too. And in time, you will see this is for the best.


Are you getting divorced a second time? Trying to piece together your background as I can relate.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

RebuildingMe said:


> Are you getting divorced a second time? Trying to piece together your background as I can relate.


Yes. Don't recommend blending families when young kids are involved.


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

RebuildingMe said:


> Are you getting divorced a second time? Trying to piece together your background as I can relate.


Yes first time we were together 5 years this time 6


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sfort said:


> Never heard the term before.


Get Relationship Advice and Solve Marriage Problems with Michele Weiner-Davis - Divorce Busting®


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

SCDad01 said:


> Yes. Don't recommend blending families when young kids are involved.


So I hear.


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

Some days are good some days are awful . I realize the only power she has is what I give her by my reactions. The 180 is super hard if you still love the person. I shouldn’t , she doesn’t deserve it , it’s just how I feel .. any suggestions to help me move on without tremendous pain


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## Needswork (4 mo ago)

So we are on no contact. She emails that she needs gas money till payday. I respond you yell at me u do me no favors U treat me like a dog and u moved out why would I loan you money.. she calls yells and threatens and I still say no then she begs please don’t do this.. again I say no .. I freeze the bank card . And sure as the sky is blue she tried to take it but it was declined .. is this a act of desperation or what??


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Well, she is the one who walked away to be single -- now she has to learn about BEING single, i.e. YOU not paying anything for her.....


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Needswork said:


> New here, have been reading a lot of posts and trying to memorize the 180. I have a waw been gone about a month. But she like will text and have me up for dinner and then it’s like hot and cold water. Then she will block me and ignore me because we disagree about mutual finances … I saw it coming she told me in plain English and I still screwed it up. She would be all excited about a apartment she found and not understand why it upset me. She says it hurts her because her leaving hurts me ??? If this is true then why leave… I am far from an angel and have made a truckload of mistakes in this marriage.. I just need some recent waw guidance from the group


Bud, you’ll starve to death on her breadcrumbs. Cut contact and see a good attorney. 
They all pull the let be friends BS. Learn to ignore or stay entangled. Living on hopium is only a temporary comfort zone and will not get you a thing except wasted time/life you’ll never get back.
Go online and check your phone bill. Most often they leave for a reason. 
Let her go fully and save yourself. She’s already gone anyway.
Her words, texts are meaningless. Her actions tell you everything you need to know.
You control yourself and your phone. Nothing else.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Needswork said:


> I really appreciate the guidance from most of the folks less the sarcasm. I honestly feel like I lost who I was long ago. Honestly it makes me angry with myself


Read upon blame shifting. From what I’ve seen it can be prevalent in these sites.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Needswork said:


> Some days are good some days are awful . I realize the only power she has is what I give her by my reactions. The 180 is super hard if you still love the person. I shouldn’t , she doesn’t deserve it , it’s just how I feel .. any suggestions to help me move on without tremendous pain


You know what to do. Right now YOU have yourself stuck.
I love her so she just has to love me too! Nope, her actions tell you what you need to know.
Fact: you chase they move even further away. You do the pick me dance it makes you look weak and unattractive.
Wake up to reality and deal with it or stay where you are.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Needswork said:


> So we are on no contact. She emails that she needs gas money till payday. I respond you yell at me u do me no favors U treat me like a dog and u moved out why would I loan you money.. she calls yells and threatens and I still say no then she begs please don’t do this.. again I say no .. I freeze the bank card . And sure as the sky is blue she tried to take it but it was declined .. is this a act of desperation or what??


No contact means no contact. Obviously you don’t get that.
Learn to ignore. Or stay where you are.


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