# No sex drive at 28?



## Mom2Two (Aug 19, 2010)

My husband will be 28 in November, and I'm lucky to get sex once every week and a half. He had something called a testicular torsion when he was 16, he had to have his left testicle removed. It has slowed down since then, but still nothing like it os now. He says it's not me (I put on 30lbs trying to quit smoking last year) and because the weight gain has made me pretty self concious, I can't help but think it's partly me. I don't know what to do. I love sex, it's a big part of a marriage to me, a big stress reliever too. I don't know what to do. I've asked him to see the doctor, but I think he's too embarrassed. What can I do?


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## Dave321 (Aug 4, 2010)

Why would you doubt him when he said no that it not you.Sound like it truth to me.Love is on the inside not 30 lbs outside.As far as the big stress reliever, take charge of your life.There is alot you can do in the bedroom.Don't put it off on him.It take two,sometimes it take one to watch and one to do.:smthumbup:Turn this around.Go with him to the Doc's office,hold him hand, give him a kiss,tell him what ever it is i love you.And I'll be there by your side. His hands work?Lips works?His eye works?His body works?I'm sure you two can have fun finding ways to do things. God speed.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

I'm 38 here and still want sex like an 18 yr old! My wife hates it, says i'm a pervert wanting sex 24/7.

Just straight up ask him why he doesn't want to have sex anymore.


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## TamDlc (Sep 3, 2010)

Mom2Two said:


> My husband will be 28 in November, and I'm lucky to get sex once every week and a half. He had something called a testicular torsion when he was 16, he had to have his left testicle removed. It has slowed down since then, but still nothing like it os now. He says it's not me (I put on 30lbs trying to quit smoking last year) and because the weight gain has made me pretty self concious, I can't help but think it's partly me. I don't know what to do. I love sex, it's a big part of a marriage to me, a big stress reliever too. I don't know what to do. I've asked him to see the doctor, but I think he's too embarrassed. What can I do?


If he's missing one testicle, he might have less testosterone than normal. Working out and lifting weights can help with this. Its probably not so much your weight, when guys get horny, they want it no matter what, and 30 pounds really isn't that much.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Considering your situation, I personally feel it is a hormone issue, he has less testosterone than the average man, but for others to say that NO men have a problem with a little extra weight. I disagree with this. 

Most husbands will be very hard pressed to come out, even when asked by thier wives, to admit they are struggling with desire, cause they instinctively know (with the majority of women) this could potentially put them "in the doghouse" for the rest of their marraige! 

Hormones, most likely, but it never hurts to be as attractive as you can, look as you did when you were dating - to turn him on. I agree, you will need to step up and be more of an aggressive force.

I know from being with a lower testosterone male, they need a little MORE excitement, enticement & desire than the average aggressive HIGH testosterone guys do. Gotta be a little bit more creative with the lower sex drived husband.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If he's self conscious or worried, it's going to adversely affect his ability to perform and he might be avoiding sex to avoid embarrassment. Perhaps there are things he can do to pleasure you that don't involve an erection. If that's his problem, there are meds for him that should help. Encouragement from you will help, too. He probably misses sex with you, too.


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

*testosterone - raising levels*

I can speak from experience that low testosterone levels can be raised, mine went to zero because I received chemotherapy for an auto-immune disease. It might not have done much one way or the other for my A-I condition, but I lost hair on my head, my nails thinned, and I was more fatigued than ever.

I realized that my T levels were low when I stopped paying attention to attractive women walking by, asked my PCP to Rx a blood test, and was shocked when I learned my body had stopped making T. 

He gave me an Rx for Testim Gel, which raised levels but not far enough given that I was at 0. Warning - this is not something you want to use if your wife could get pregnant even accidentally, nor should you use it if you have children in your life, Testosterone gels come with very serious warnings about the damage even low exposures can cause to fetuses and children.

My dr. switched me to a bi-weekly injection, very easy, painless, and very effective. Self injection is easy, but there are a few tricks a nurse taught me that she felt were not obvious and important. Feel free to contact me back channel for details. One of these days I'll post the procedure here.

These days my T levels are where they should be, I'm stronger, and my neck swivels just fine.


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## puttytat35 (Sep 5, 2010)

I'm having the same problem with my guy he is only 24, and we used to make love every day we saw each other, now it's once every week and a half if I'm lucky. I've been asking him to sort out the problem since april and now finally he is going to the doctor's tomorrow, I just hope they can help as I find it so distressing but he isn't bothered by it.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

If he's missing a testicle, he's very likely producing less testosterone. Low testosterone can lead to less interest in sex. I won't lie, some of it may be your weight. But if he said it's not, I'd take him at his word, because even if your weight has contributed, if he said no, it can't be that big a deal. 
Getting him to see a dr is going to be the hard part. Most guys feel ashamed/embarrassed/who knows what about something like this. Even my boyfriend, who *admitted* to me that he thought this was his problem, didn't want to go to the dr. 

One thing that I found helped us is when the pressure was off him to have sex. I enjoy it very much with him, and he felt pressured to have sex. Once I made it clear to him that although I very much enjoy it with him, that it was not my priority and that I would be happy with whatever sex we might have, our frequency increased then and there. It was like he just needed to know that I loved him regardless. I backed off in such a way that he knew I was interested and willing but that allowed him to determine when it happened, and it made a difference.


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