# You guys were right



## 1kasey (Dec 24, 2012)

Hi, return poster here. As you might guess, things have only gotten worse  We now hardly speak to one another, I've moved out of the bedroom, and we argue about everything we do talk about.

I really did try my best to make it work, and to everything I suggested he says "okay" but never does it. He may put in a mild effort at times, but that's it. Then I tried nothing and ignored him. He doesn't mind at all.

I don't think either of us are bad or mean people, we're just very different and place value on different things. I'm convinced he'd be the perfect roommate, but I didn't get married to be buddies.

We went to a marriage counselor who didn't help because we have too many individual issues. So I am now seeing a therapist on my own. With every session she goes "Why did you marry him!?"

I'm ready to accept the fact that this marriage is not going to work. I'm working on my exit plan and if all goes well my timeline has me moving out in about 6 months.

The problem is he's in super denial mode. He tries to come into my room and get in bed with me and tells me he loves me every day. I'm like 










I've flat out said that I want a divorce a few weeks ago, and he agreed that it would probably be best. He seems to have conveniently forgotten that conversation. I want to make it abundantly clear that we are over, but I want to have as civil of a divorce as possible. Any suggestions for "the talk"?

Bonus question:
His birthday is next week... should I do anything for it? I have always gone all out before. I would just get a card, but I don't think they make cards that say what I'm feeling =P


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If there was ever a time that you have his attention and could get him to work on changing things, its' right now while you he knows you are ready to end it.

Just a card is fine. A simple card.


----------



## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

Truthfully, as a guy I would love it if my significant other who was determined to leave said.
"We are absolutely over but how bout one more night of wild sex!"

That way it is known that is the last time. You both can try all kinds of stuff. (That you are OK with).
Man, that would be an incredible way to go out! Course I'm twisted maybe.
Also you should have the talk with him asap so when his birthday comes he can have a little bit of time to digest and enjoy.

That would be an awesome way to end a marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Keepin-my-head-up said:


> Truthfully, as a guy I would love it if my significant other who was determined to leave said.
> "We are absolutely over but how bout one more night of wild sex!"
> 
> That way it is known that is the last time. You both can try all kinds of stuff. (That you are OK with).
> ...


An excellent suggestion....NOT! 
Stay the course. If he "conveniently" forgets, gently but clearly and firmly remind him it is over and it is time to work out the details of divorce. 
For the birthday, a simple card.


----------



## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

Maneo said:


> An excellent suggestion....NOT!
> Stay the course. If he "conveniently" forgets, gently but clearly and firmly remind him it is over and it is time to work out the details of divorce.
> For the birthday, a simple card.


And than the sex?


----------



## 1kasey (Dec 24, 2012)

Thanks for your input, guys. 

Keepin-my-head-up I'm a woman and even I know mixed messages are bad  Methinks someone watches too much porn. Besides, he's the fuddy duddy in the bedroom. He'd rather play Skyrim.

We qualify for an annulment, which I would prefer, but I hear it can sometimes take years to go through! Does anyone know which is faster? Annulment or divorce? I can't find anything about it online.


----------

