# What would you think about living 2hrs away from my daughter ?



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Hi again people and thanks so much for your thoughts and advice in other posts , please keepem coming.

The only other option I have if we don't share the property separated and coexist like that to both be here for my daughter , 11 ,is for me to move away .
We're in an expensive area there's no way I could get another house here and I don't even like it that much round here anyway.
The only area I know of where I do like it very much and could afford something new in the future sometime is 2hrs away from here and my daughter. 
It is a very good drive over to and from though, very easy straight forward back roads that cut across all the way back to here. No city driving at all, no traffic. I love the area and it's about 1/3 the price of around here.
I also thought it'd be pretty cool for my daughter to come over for holiday stays and stuff maybe as she loves it over there too.
But I couldn't be around her anywhere near as much as staying locally of course. Couldn't pick her up from school and would miss a lot of her stuff .
Could I still be a good father from that far away , there for her ?
What would you think of all this /advice ?

Thanks again for any input .


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

I think that when you divorce it's never the same and you've got to make some compromise because you're no longer an intact family.

Given your situation, 2 hours isn't all that bad, and when you're together it will be quality time spent together.

It's probably your best option.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

IF your only choice is to move out of town...do so as CLOSE as you can to your daughter. 

It's difficult to BE there when you are far away. I am talking when a parent can't pick her up when she's sick and the other one needs to step in; or there is a activity at school that you need to be there for; or if she has a doctor appt that you need to take her to; or she really misses you and wants to come over to see you.

At her age, she still has plenty of activities and needs...it may end up making your life difficult. Try to get something as close as possible. Just an opinion.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah , trouble is I've thought too it'll be all those little moments , school stuff and needy times that will keep me still her dad and there for her if I'm as close as I can get.
Someone said finding the petrol money and time all the time to from 2hrs away will get really hard for too many trips in the end and that'll take a lot out of our time together and me in the end . I'd be restarting to so money will be tight.
Jesus what an f'n mess. I hate this sh+t.


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## ItMatters (Jun 6, 2012)

But keep in mind, it's 2hrs EACH way- which means FOUR hours driving.

Unless your STBX is willing to drive 1/2 way. Still, 4hrs to go to a school play, concert etc is a lot.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

You can live on the opposite end of country like my EX for no reason. On second thought... don't.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The drive will get old. Believe me. I did something similar for a while and it got old.

Rent an apartment for a while near your house.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah I know it would , thing is , i need to find the combo of being happy myself . They say thats best fro al especially the reflection it sends to the kids. Trouble is 2hrs away is what would make me happy . 

HD , so what is that your wife ? Whos got the kids , how does it work.

I know one lady who lives 500mile from her ex , kids go up once or twice a yr. Pretty sad .
Actually my sisters is like that too. She reckons it's hell especially on the kids, they aren't coping even after 5 yrs.
Still again big dif from 2hrs, she's about 8hrs.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

It might work, but it will be hard on your part, and more effort than merely driving. You will have to call/text/IM alot and I hope you exW will permit. You have to make the effort. My STBXH chose to live in another state and has next to no contact with his children, then has the nerve to put the burden on them to contact him. I've let him no that is inappropriate, but.... I've been told that the children will grow up knowing who was willing to make the effort to be part of their life and who wasn't. So you have to work.


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## ItMatters (Jun 6, 2012)

I don't think what is best for the kids is to have an involved parent move two hours away even if you think that will make you happy.

You will already not be able to see your daughter as much as you have in the past- I think you should at least for the first year or two stay close so she can see you are going to remain an involved parent.


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## JuliaP (Mar 21, 2011)

I would live in a broom closet if I had to, rather than live two hours away from my daughter. Your daughter is 11. She is going to hit puberty soon, if she hasn't already. She will have a surge of hormones and emotions and suddenly become a volatile emotional young woman ( like we all were at that age!). On top of that, she is going through a divorce. DO NOT LEAVE HER AT THIS TIME. When she's 18 and off to college, fine. Please. Don't leave her now.

She needs you. SHE NEEDS YOU.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Thanks so much for your help so far . God almighty.
I'm not even sure where we're headed yet this is only 2wks now old but it isn't looking good.
I so want to be there for her if it comes to this but it'd mean I can't restart myself and will live like **** for another few yrs , just dunno.

First up I was going to rent just locally , no doubt about that one for now. Was thinking 6mths , been stuck here 5yrs now for wifey and look where that got me. What a nightmare.


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