# Stupid got Smart!!



## LostInPHX (Jun 3, 2018)

Well, if you read "Am I Stupid or What?" you'll find out how this all began. She got better for a while, but the arguing just never seemed to stop. Then I found out that she and Mr VD, (yes she got *VD* from this guy!!) on his Birthday, and started texting him again, which eventually turned to her acting like a _****_ in a bar with him on Wednesday (description from people there) and going home with him. Fortunately, I have friends who don't approve of her actions and they notified me (I was out of town) when it happened. Thru 15 minutes of text messages to both of them and many phone calls, he said enough and took her home. But, even though I interrupted their midnight sexual encounter, that didn't stop her from going to his work place the next day at lunch and giving him oral sex in the parking lot. That was final straw and *I filed for divorce today!!*

Many people here said I didn't love her, but I was codependent on her. I finally figured out they were right!! I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. You have to know, or realize the difference between LOVE and CODEPENDENCY. Don’t get hem confused!!

She told me yesterday that she finally chose HIM over ME and she thought we should consider a divorce. I asked her, _“If you CHOSE *HIM* over *ME*, then* WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING IN MY BED???*”_ I’m finding out he treats her more like a blow up doll for nothing other than sex, but he doesn’t want her to move in with him. She is absolutely in LOVE with him tho!! She is in for a huge surprise of *REALITY* in 2 months!!

So, I’m playing nice until she is served and a settlement agreement is signed. I just want the final divorce decree signed and approved. I'm going to throw a huge Divorce Party at the bar where it all started and invite them BOTH when it is finalized. LOL!!!!

Thanks to everyone here on letting me see the light (Finally).


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Why do you have to play nice? Kick her ass out.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*They almost always look for arguments with their jilted spouse whenever they're busy getting their ashes hauled off in some other domain!

Whatever you do, don't go weak/desperate and go inserting your appendage into that nasty thing of hers!

She'll give you "the inimitable gift that keeps on giving" ... and will just satisfyingly smile and gloat about it!

Get yourself a good "piranha" family attorney and take her nasty devious a$$ to the cleaners! *


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

She talking this bull because she knows that you're done with her. If it's possible, I would pack her stuff and drop it off at POS door. But if you can't do that, then file ASAP and do not let her know. Just do it.
Then implement a hard 180. 

It should be easy to leave this diseased skank but I'm sure you probably still have strong feelings for her. That's what the 180 is for. For you to disconnect from her. 

Start the process of rebuilding yourself into a self reliant man. No need to rush into the dating world because she's rubbing POS in your face. Just keep moving forward with your life.

Also expose her actions to her family and friends before she does the typical I'm leaving because he's controlling. She will run your reputation through the gutter if given the chance.


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## LostInPHX (Jun 3, 2018)

State laws say that she can remain in the house. Just like she can't kick me out. I've asked her to go live with the other guy, but he doesn't want her full-time. So, we follow the law until everything is finalized. Divorce is a hard, long, detailed process. There are many steps that both parties have to agree to or negotiate. I just follow what my attorney says to do.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LostInPHX said:


> State laws say that she can remain in the house. Just like she can't kick me out. I've asked her to go live with the other guy, but he doesn't want her full-time. So, we follow the law until everything is finalized. Divorce is a hard, long, detailed process. There are many steps that both parties have to agree to or negotiate. I just follow what my attorney says to do.


That's all you can do, just follow your lawyer's advice.

And use us to rant and rave to about this situation. We'll be here for you.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

did you at least tell her to sleep some where else in the house?


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

I agree, play nice until your legal paperwork is signed, sealed and delivered. There is no advantage to being vindictive. She is going to write her own punishment and it will be far worse than what you would do to her. If people want revenge, then go live a life she can only hope that she had lived. You need to be too busy living your life to even concern yourself with hers.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Watch her crap purple when she is served. Is your state at fault or no fault? Look into “Alienation of affection” and if possible have the OM served. Watch him tell your WW to go to hell. That leaves her high and dry with no port in the storm. That should shake her up enough so you can dictate terms. Your situation screams screw up the OM. He does not want her around unless it’s for sex, if he stands to lose, he will toss her under the bus. They usually go back to plan B. That is when you say thanks, but no thanks. Talk to your lawyer and see if this is advantageous.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

She left the marriage when she let POS put his diseased member in her. So why would she want to sleep in the marital bed. 

Pack her sh!t and put in the guess room or other space. Put a lock on the master bedroom. You shouldn't be forced to share a bed with a diseased adulteress.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

LostInPHX said:


> Well, if you read "Am I Stupid or What?" you'll find out how this all began. She got better for a while, but the arguing just never seemed to stop. Then I found out that she and Mr VD, (yes she got *VD* from this guy!!) on his Birthday, and started texting him again, which eventually turned to her acting like a _****_ in a bar with him on Wednesday (description from people there) and going home with him. Fortunately, I have friends who don't approve of her actions and they notified me (I was out of town) when it happened. Thru 15 minutes of text messages to both of them and many phone calls, he said enough and took her home. But, even though I interrupted their midnight sexual encounter, that didn't stop her from going to his work place the next day at lunch and giving him oral sex in the parking lot. That was final straw and *I filed for divorce today!!*
> 
> Many people here said I didn't love her, but I was codependent on her. I finally figured out they were right!! I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. You have to know, or realize the difference between LOVE and CODEPENDENCY. Don’t get hem confused!!
> 
> ...



Who told you that she blew him in the parking lot?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

LostInPHX said:


> I've asked her to go live with the other guy, but he doesn't want her full-time.


LOL...of course he doesn't. 

Her being married is likely WHY he was screwing around with her - he didn't have to worry about her wanting to move into his place or demanding they spend more time together.

When he gets word that Miss Thang is about to be free, he'll probably beat feet out of town and leave no forwarding address.


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## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

LostInPHX said:


> Well, if you read "Am I Stupid or What?" you'll find out how this all began. She got better for a while, but the arguing just never seemed to stop. Then I found out that she and Mr VD, (yes she got *VD* from this guy!!) on his Birthday, and started texting him again, which eventually turned to her acting like a _****_ in a bar with him on Wednesday (description from people there) and going home with him. Fortunately, I have friends who don't approve of her actions and they notified me (I was out of town) when it happened. Thru 15 minutes of text messages to both of them and many phone calls, he said enough and took her home. But, even though I interrupted their midnight sexual encounter, that didn't stop her from going to his work place the next day at lunch and giving him oral sex in the parking lot. That was final straw and *I filed for divorce today!!*
> 
> Many people here said I didn't love her, but I was codependent on her. I finally figured out they were right!! I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. You have to know, or realize the difference between LOVE and CODEPENDENCY. Don’t get hem confused!!
> 
> ...


Don't invite them. Keep them out of your life and just watch from a distance.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Lay in wait until she is served, bet the OM will beat a hasty retreat. Likely his BW has no idea what knives are being stuck in her back. Let your wife get served, and the OMW will find out one way or another. That will likely cause a cessation of their little love affair. And, of course, then is when you tell her where to go and how to get there. She is screwed, blewed and tattooed, she just does not know it yet. I believe that a nuclear bomb will soon go off in her little fantasy world.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Taxman said:


> Lay in wait until she is served, bet the OM will beat a hasty retreat. Likely his BW has no idea what knives are being stuck in her back. Let your wife get served, and the OMW will find out one way or another. That will likely cause a cessation of their little love affair. And, of course, then is when you tell her where to go and how to get there. She is screwed, blewed and tattooed, she just does not know it yet. I believe that a nuclear bomb will soon go off in her little fantasy world.


 @Taxman You don't speak like an accountant or a Lawyer

Your an Assassin

Love it Brother

55


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Taxman said:


> Lay in wait until she is served, bet the OM will beat a hasty retreat. Likely his BW has no idea what knives are being stuck in her back. Let your wife get served, and the OMW will find out one way or another. That will likely cause a cessation of their little love affair. And, of course, then is when you tell her where to go and how to get there. She is screwed, blewed and tattooed, she just does not know it yet. I believe that a nuclear bomb will soon go off in her little fantasy world.


 @Taxman You don't speak like an accountant or a Lawyer

Your an Assassin

Love it Brother

55


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Why do you have to play nice? Kick her ass out.


Because then the police or the Sheriff come along and puts him in jail.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I would like to expand somewhat on what Matt just said. In this forum we see an awful lot of anger and projection. I admit that sometimes what I read angers me as well, admittedly I have had a problem with it in my past life. Thing is, we tend to advise the newly betrayed to "kick them out", or "blow up their lives" etc. etc. This is generally not the prudent route to travel when one generally finds out. Anger or shock is a general first reaction, but in all honesty, reacting out of hurt anger and shock generally serves little purpose and can be counter intuitive.

What I generally counsel, in the case of new found infidelity, is to seek two professionals simultaneously: One is a lawyer. Learn your rights and obligations. A large portion of your life has just become questionable. You have joint ownership of a large number of assets and liabilities and that partnership in all legal ways is threatened. Number two is a psychologist/psychiatrist. Individual therapy is indispensable in dealing with the body blow. I have had people physically sick in my office the morning after. As we promote ourselves as part of a non traditional divorce assistance network, I am oftimes contacted as a primary access point. So I will see a person who has just found out, and they are as frayed as a well used rope. I have walked the parking lot with a guy who chain smoked as he told me his story. I chomped on a cigar and walked a few miles while he got it out of himself. Then I recommended a psychologist, and told him to see his PCP. I gave him the bare bones about our system and gave him a referral to an attorney for a first free consult. 

Our first advice should always be self care and self protection. Ok, off the soapbox, and back to my cave.


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## LostInPHX (Jun 3, 2018)

She doesn't have a clue as to what is going to happen soon. Unfortunately, I guess her _instincts_ have been set off and she's been unbelievably nice these last few days, including VERY SAFE sex today. I just keep the visualization of her having oral sex with HIM in the parking lot, so I can stay focused. Yes, I know people in the group will say, "Why are you having sex with the ****?" Well simple - I like sex. ;-) I KNOW I'm going to need psychological and emotional support during this next 2 months to get through this ordeal. I have a few friends that I can count on for the emotional support. Everyone that knows about the situation is totally disgusted with her behavior! I know a lot of people say let her die in the street, but *IF* we can get through this is a amicable and friendly manner and go our separate ways, I just think it will be better. I have to focus on the greater good for MYSELF and keep that FIRST in my mind.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

In my opinion, any man/woman that knowingly, voluntarily has sex with a partner after finding out that the partner cheated is a person that lacks character and have little self respect. No wonder why they are in the situation in which they are.


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## frustratedinphx (Dec 29, 2007)

OP you’re in PHX? Hotel rates are dirt cheap now. If you don’t have another BR at home, get her a room somewhere. Your sanity isn’t worth sleeping with the enemy (and her warts).



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Kick her out.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

She already has you back under control. That didn't take long. Condoms are insufficient as protection against warts and herpes, FYI. All it takes is skin-to-skin contact to pass them around. I wish you luck.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Make sure you let your lawyer know you had sex with your STBXW on 7/28/18.
This will be an important date...in fact I bet your old lady has already made note of this date as it will impact the cause for the divorce.

In some case you may have legally forgiven her for her infidelity so that's off the table for why you are suing her for divorce.


I'm guessing she will sleep around again between now and the time you retain a lawyer so you still might have cause for the D but then again you might need to prove it.

Even if your in a no fault state you still need to be careful and make a plan and work the plan with a lawyer.


My point is if your lawyer tells you its ok to **** your old lady all you want and it doesn't matter in the D...well then **** away....but what if it does impact the D and you could be the one getting ****ed here?


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

LostInPHX said:


> She doesn't have a clue as to what is going to happen soon. Unfortunately, I guess her _instincts_ have been set off and she's been unbelievably nice these last few days, including VERY SAFE sex today. I just keep the visualization of her having oral sex with HIM in the parking lot, so I can stay focused. Yes, I know people in the group will say, "Why are you having sex with the ****?" Well simple - I like sex. ;-) I KNOW I'm going to need psychological and emotional support during this next 2 months to get through this ordeal. I have a few friends that I can count on for the emotional support. Everyone that knows about the situation is totally disgusted with her behavior! I know a lot of people say let her die in the street, but *IF* we can get through this is a amicable and friendly manner and go our separate ways, I just think it will be better. I have to focus on the greater good for MYSELF and keep that FIRST in my mind.


1. Having sex with a spouse that you are going to be accusing of infidelity in court *was not a good move*. A judge will view that as forgiveness. So, you just eliminated your advantage in legal negotiations. :surprise:

2. *Study the 180 technique and use it religiously*.

3. This forum will try to give you the most excellent advice, based on an infinite number of prior experiences, that you can find. *You can't buy this kind of wisdom.* Good luck.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Yea, why would you have sex with her? In court now you will not be able to use adultery as a reason for the divorce. When you knowingly have sex with a cheater, it's like you're in R. Bad move.

You need to look up the 180 and implement it. It will help you detach. I'm sensing co-dependency. Which women see as a sign of weakness. Nothing turns a woman off more than a weak or needy man.

I'm not trying to dis you or anything but just give you insight into what I've learned from being a junky on this and similar boards.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

jsmart said:


> Yea, why would you have sex with her? In court now you will not be able to use adultery as a reason for the divorce. When you knowingly have sex with a cheater, it's like you're in R. Bad move.
> 
> You need to look up the 180 and implement it. It will help you detach. I'm sensing co-dependency. Which women see as a sign of weakness. Nothing turns a woman off more than a weak or needy man.
> 
> I'm not trying to dis you or anything but just give you insight into what I've learned from being a junky on this and similar boards.


Giving her the other 'D' is a bad move emotionally and will set him back quite a ways in that regard. But one thing I found out first hand is that the courts and even the friend of the court could give a rat's a$$ about affairs. Might have been different as the man if I did it, maybe, but the courts don't even wag their fingers at affairs anymore ... More of a shoulder shrug


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

stillfightingforus said:


> Giving her the other 'D' is a bad move emotionally and will set him back quite a ways in that regard. But one thing I found out first hand is that the courts and even the friend of the court could give a rat's a$$ about affairs. Might have been different as the man if I did it, maybe, but the courts don't even wag their fingers at affairs anymore ... More of a shoulder shrug


Same here. Affairs have no bearing in custody or financial divisions in most States. Even if you tried to leverage it in the few States that care, mainly you will just be putting your lawyers' kids through college while fighting over minor ultimate differences. 

Regardless, fncking her is a big setback. And with the knowledge that she picked up a STD? WTF, man!


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

LOL. I don't see how Stupid got Smart, after knowingly is having sex with the VD skank.. That's still stupid.


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## Kamstel (Apr 25, 2018)

Was she served today? (Monday)


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## LostInPHX (Jun 3, 2018)

I sign the paperwork Tuesday, which includes a massive amount of additional paperwork showing assets and debts, mortgages, titles, bank statements, etc... and other documentation required by the court. Not a simple "Go to Vegas Divorce".

We have agreed to work the divorce peacefully, transparently, and not screw the other over. Yes - we are getting a divorce because of her affair and she was honest with me tonight and said, She cannot promise to stop seeing the other man. She understands that is the end of our marriage. But we both still have feeling for each other. And, yes, Rob_1, we will continue to have sex probably even after the marriage is terminated. Yes, there are means of having VERY SAFE SEX, that does not include penetration, intercourse, or even condoms. It's know as mutual mastrubation. We switched to this after finding out about the VD. Not the most exciting sex, but it works. Unfortuanately for Mr VD, he's not practacing safe sex with her, so they are reinfecting each other over and over again, plus he doesn't satisfy her any way near the times I do with her (direct quote from her).

That's the part I don't get... Her and Mr VD are having a sex-only affair, but she's more satisfied with me and my sex. That one my mind doesn't comprehend at all!!!


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## LostInPHX (Jun 3, 2018)

She doesn't have me under her control. I'm trying to get through the process as easy and fast as possible without a big court battle where the lawyers make out like bandits. It woul dbe better described and I am controlling the situation to prevent it from escilating to something bad.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

LostInPHX said:


> I sign the paperwork Tuesday, which includes a massive amount of additional paperwork showing assets and debts, mortgages, titles, bank statements, etc... and other documentation required by the court. Not a simple "Go to Vegas Divorce".
> 
> We have agreed to work the divorce peacefully, transparently, and not screw the other over. Yes - we are getting a divorce because of her affair and she was honest with me tonight and said, She cannot promise to stop seeing the other man. She understands that is the end of our marriage. But we both still have feeling for each other. And, yes, Rob_1, we will continue to have sex probably even after the marriage is terminated. Yes, there are means of having VERY SAFE SEX, that does not include penetration, intercourse, or even condoms. It's know as mutual mastrubation. We switched to this after finding out about the VD. Not the most exciting sex, but it works.


PIV contact isn’t necessary to spread an STD.

Geez.



LostInPHX said:


> Unfortuanately for Mr VD, he's not practacing safe sex with her, so they are reinfecting each other over and over again, plus he doesn't satisfy her any way near the times I do with her (direct quote from her).
> 
> That's the part I don't get... Her and Mr VD are having a sex-only affair, but she's more satisfied with me and my sex. That one my mind doesn't comprehend at all!!!


You’ll believe anything, won’t you?

Stupid got smart?

Not really.


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## seadoug105 (Jan 12, 2018)

GusPolinski said:


> PIV contact isn’t necessary to spread an STD.
> 
> Geez.
> 
> ...


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LostInPHX said:


> She doesn't have me under her control. I'm trying to get through the process as easy and fast as possible without a big court battle where the lawyers make out like bandits. It woul dbe better described and I am controlling the situation to prevent it from escilating to something bad.


I understand I did the same thing.
Now make yourself mentally strong and grounded.
Read "12 Rules for Life" - by Jordan B Peterson.
Good luck.

BTW my life 6 months later has never been better!


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

StillSearching said:


> I understand I did the same thing.
> Now make yourself mentally strong and grounded.
> Read "12 Rules for Life" - by Jordan B Peterson.
> Good luck.
> ...


Any good prospects? Still trying to muster up my mindset to start dating in the mid-range future.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

stillfightingforus said:


> Any good prospects? Still trying to muster up my mindset to start dating in the mid-range future.


Yes I am dating a very shy beautiful woman. 
It's slow going, but I waited 25 years to find a real relationship, I'll take my time.
I refuse to date from online sites. I guess I'm old school. She was the very first woman I ever asked out on a date. And I'm 54.
I never had to put this kind of work into wooing someone, but I have never been so happy in my life. 
My head is in the right place.

"Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient." this is what I'm doing.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

StillSearching said:


> Yes I am dating a very shy beautiful woman.
> It's slow going, but I waited 25 years to find a real relationship, I'll take my time.
> I refuse to date from online sites. I guess I'm old school. She was the very first woman I ever asked out on a date. And I'm 54.
> I never had to put this kind of work into wooing someone, but I have never been so happy in my life.
> ...


Awesome! I'm just taking it slow and trying to find my own bearings and make the best me and if something comes along in the next few months I won't block it out but I'm not actively pursuing anything. I am not going to go the OLD route, at least when I start actively trying.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

stillfightingforus said:


> Awesome! I'm just taking it slow and trying to find my own bearings and make the best me and if something comes along in the next few months I won't block it out but I'm not actively pursuing anything. I am not going to go the OLD route, at least when I start actively trying.


I came to this site many years ago. I was living in hell and didn't know it. 
I truly believe that all of us here are looking for one thing.
Meaning
The one thing that brings happiness. The one thing that leads to sanity. The one thing that brings order to our chaos! 
We all just want our head in the right place to make the correct decisions. 

Some here are already there....


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LostInPHX said:


> I sign the paperwork Tuesday, which includes a massive amount of additional paperwork showing assets and debts, mortgages, titles, bank statements, etc... and other documentation required by the court. Not a simple "Go to Vegas Divorce".
> 
> We have agreed to work the divorce peacefully, transparently, and not screw the other over. Yes - we are getting a divorce because of her affair and she was honest with me tonight and said, She cannot promise to stop seeing the other man. She understands that is the end of our marriage. But we both still have feeling for each other. And, yes, Rob_1, we will continue to have sex probably even after the marriage is terminated. Yes, there are means of having VERY SAFE SEX, that does not include penetration, intercourse, or even condoms. It's know as mutual mastrubation. We switched to this after finding out about the VD. Not the most exciting sex, but it works. Unfortuanately for Mr VD, he's not practacing safe sex with her, so they are reinfecting each other over and over again, plus he doesn't satisfy her any way near the times I do with her (direct quote from her).
> 
> That's the part I don't get... Her and Mr VD are having a sex-only affair, but she's more satisfied with me and my sex. That one my mind doesn't comprehend at all!!!


When questioned about the wisdom of such a course of action vis-a-vis "safe" sex 5 out of 5 people said:-


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

LostInPHX said:


> ... She cannot promise to stop seeing the other man. She understands that is the end of our marriage. But we both still have feeling for each other. And, yes, Rob_1, we will continue to have sex probably even after the marriage is terminated. Yes, there are means of having VERY SAFE SEX, that does not include penetration, intercourse, or even condoms. It's know as mutual mastrubation. We switched to this after finding out about the VD. Not the most exciting sex, but it works. Unfortuanately for Mr VD, he's not practacing safe sex with her, so they are reinfecting each other over and over again, plus he doesn't satisfy her any way near the times I do with her (direct quote from her).


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

LostInPHX said:


> Yes, there are means of having VERY SAFE SEX, that does not include penetration, intercourse, or even condoms. It's know as mutual mastrubation...
> 
> 
> ...That's the part I don't get... Her and Mr VD are having a sex-only affair, but she's more satisfied with me and my sex. That one my mind doesn't comprehend at all!!!


So she enjoys mutual masturbation with you more than PIV with him.

I can see why you would have a hard time comprehending that.

Because it is all bull****.

I'm sorry, but you are just running from the pain.

She be crazy. Don't D crazy.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Decorum said:


> So she enjoys mutual masturbation with you more than PIV with him.
> 
> I can see why you would have a hard time comprehending that.
> 
> ...


Unless ehen she masturbate with you, she is fantasising about having sex with Mr VD?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

"plus he doesn't satisfy her any way near the times I do with her (direct quote from her).

That's the part I don't get... Her and Mr VD are having a sex-only affair, but she's more satisfied with me and my sex."

BECAUSE SHE's LYING TO YOU!!!!

I would rather take care of myself then have a diseased skank touch me again, ESPECIALLY when you know she is still banging the other guy bareback. Geez, go watch porn and take care of it yourself. WHY would you let her touch you?

I'm glad you got smart enough to divorce her, now get wise enough to get rid of her and not touch you again... Ugh.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

I really have no advice to offer on this thread because it's so bizarre and I feel I'd be wasting my breath. I will say I am enjoying this circus though. It's one of the most entertaining active threads. Bravo.


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## LostInPHX (Jun 3, 2018)

I honestly think this whole thing is *totally* bizarre as well!!! Divorce sounds easy, but it is a long drawn out process that takes a long time. I have taken steps in that direction, but still have a long way to go. I have final paperwork in hand that only needs my signature to send to the court to start the divorce process. When assets are involved there are procedures that you have to go through to dissolve them. Two major assets are being dissolved at the moment. She doesn't know it's part of the divorce process (yet). I'm keeping many _intentions_ slightly hidden, but she is aware that the assets are being sold and has agreed to it.

I get STD tested again this week, but I'm thinking about delaying it to next month just to make sure. NO! I have not had sex with her.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

You are in denial. She now sees you as her enemy. Let that soak in. And stop touching her if you don't have that STD. Duh.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Want stupid? When I was 19 and living with my girlfriend it took me 3 months before I realized what the faint taste was when I performed oral sex. She confessed that she had been having sex with random guys she met at the nearby Army base and then coming home to me still horny. 

Since I did not love her we decided to open up the relationship but I had to end it when she asked my three visiting friends to gang bang her. True story. After she left I found out that she was regularly dating two of my friends. I also lost my ex fiancé to a friend so I learned that no matter what they tell you and how much you trust someone, when it comes to sex, anything can go. 

By the time I was married I was a pro at spotting cheating. Luckily my wife never cheated on me for the 46 years we married. She did not have to because by then I learned that monogamy was no guarantee of anything so we did have sex with others, but as a couple, never alone. My wife and I ended up sharing the same girlfriend for most of our marriage as we really never got into sex with strangers.

My wife agrees with me that had we insisted on monogamy, we would have divorced a long time ago. The rate of cheating is higher than that of divorce and the majority of spouses are unaware of their cheating spouse so the rate is higher still. Our siblings all cheated as did our original friends. We still know a lot of married people where one is or has cheated. Every boss I had, male or female has cheated and I knew it since I travelled with them on business. Their spouses joined the legions of other spouses who proclaim that they are certain that their spouse would never cheat on them.

My wife's steady girlfriend is married and her husband chose to let her continue her relationship with me and my wife rather than divorce a second time due to a cheating wife. We live and we learn from experience, both ours and others.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

https://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/428739-i-dont-get.html

I’d laugh, but it’s more tragic than funny.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

And now this...

https://talkaboutmarriage.com/consi.../428731-lies-never-ending-2.html#post19665199

OK, _now_ it’s funny.

:lol: :rofl:


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

I need more popcorn


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Gross.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Do you not have enough money to go stay in a temporary apartment or something?


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