# could my wife have been BP?



## jcjohnson3 (Nov 30, 2010)

first thank you to everyone here, just reading others posts have helped me greatly.

My wife has just left me(5weeks)after almost 8 years of marriage. She has been diagnosed with depression for about the past 5 years and also OCD. She has been in therapy for almosy as much time. She had major issues dealing with an alcoholic mother and a father who was controlling to her and abusive to her mom. My wife was never s suzy homemaker. She rarely cooked,( I always did that) and we were paying a maid to clean the house twice a month. She had always paid the bills because she constantly checked the bank accounts and the bills. So I just let her do those things. I tried to help by setting up budgets, but they never worked because they weren't as immediate as she wanted.

she had been on Zoloft for a few years, but days before she left she had seen the doc to increase her dosage. She said they weren't working. She went away for a girls weekend, which included a lot of drinking. I asked was she supposed to drink on those meds, at which time she said she wasn't takeing the yet.

she sent me a text on the monday after she came back, we had seen each other, saying she was moving out. It was like a switch had been flipped. She has since told me she was very angry, but when she left a great peace came over her. She wouldn't talk with me just sending text messages, she would say I was to needy, that she felt she had to carry me on her coat tails, that I didn't have that arrogance about me, that she wanted to do so many things. She said she didn't believe in marriage anymore, that she didn't know if she wanted a family..then said she wanted to try things like a threesome. Something she had always joked about and thought was hot. 

since she left she has been going out drinking every weekend. I also know she has met another guy at one of the parties. She has latched on to him, even invited herself and him on a couples weekend with some of her friends.

I just didn't know if this could be a manic type situation? Or does she just not love me anymore and already replaced me.

thank you for reading and any help.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

jcjohnson3 said:


> she would say I was to needy, that she felt she had to carry me on her coat tails, that I didn't have that arrogance about me, that she wanted to do so many things.


this is really characteristic of kids that have alcoholic parents. You ought to read about that sort of thing to understand her better. She's not BP she's just confused. She doesnt know who she is and she's trying to find out. she tried being the good wife that took care of her husband but then realized she was completely neglecting what she wants. but she doesnt really know what she wants. she's just trying to figure that out. she'll eventually figure out that her new lifestyle is not making her happy, either. it might take many years though.


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## jcjohnson3 (Nov 30, 2010)

She has been saying for a while now that she had to find herself. When she left she said that she needed to work on herself and find out what she wanted before she could decide if I fit in her life. She also said I need to work on my self, hey I know we all have things that aren't perfect but was I that bad? Could that have been her not wanting to accept most of the blame for all of this? I have been worrying myself silly trying to figure out how I went so wrong. Everyone I know, even her friends, say it wasn't me I just have a hard time comeing to the same conclusion.

I know she has been fooling around with another guy since that first weekend we split. She hasn't told me friends of hers have. I just don't know,even though I love her so much, if I can wait hopeing she will come back. People tell me she will regret this, will she?


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## Rich Davis (Dec 1, 2010)

I believe this may be the same thing my wife of 16 years is experiencing. Such a familiar scenario...


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