# how to strengthen our relationship



## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 years, will get married soon next year. I notice that when we are together alone such as taking trips, we are mostly a team. But when we are back in the city where we live and both of our families try to have their input. When they do, we do not know how to deal with and then we act it out to each other by being mean, saying hurtful things, or ignoring one another. 

My question is how does a couple try to strengthen their relationship by listening and respecting their family opinions, but at the same time not allow it to affect our relationship? My second question is how does a couple strengthen their relationship by acting on being more of a team than just two young idiots who want to marry one another and begin a life?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

oceanbreeze said:


> My question is how does a couple try to strengthen their relationship by listening and respecting their family opinions, but at the same time not allow it to affect our relationship?


I only talk to one person in my family about my problems, my oldest sister (I have five siblings). I know that is the only person who has healthy boundaries and will help me and not cause more problems for me. 

If your families are causing problems for you, then you are sharing too much with them. You've invited them into areas of your life that they do not belong. You need to create healthy boundaries within your families so their presence can be a positive force.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

My wife and I always have pow-wows for the lack of better word on all of our answers. We always give a united front to friends, family and our children. If the boundries have not been set already then we alk them out together.

draconis


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## Greatermindset (Oct 13, 2008)

oceanbreeze said:


> My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 years, will get married soon next year. I notice that when we are together alone such as taking trips, we are mostly a team. But when we are back in the city where we live and both of our families try to have their input. When they do, we do not know how to deal with and then we act it out to each other by being mean, saying hurtful things, or ignoring one another.
> 
> My question is how does a couple try to strengthen their relationship by listening and respecting their family opinions, but at the same time not allow it to affect our relationship? My second question is how does a couple strengthen their relationship by acting on being more of a team than just two young idiots who want to marry one another and begin a life?



First of all, congratulations on being together for 8 years. That's quite an acheivement. You guys obviously love each other dearly.

To try to answer your first question tho, it's quite hard to understand where your parents are coming and what they're advising without knowing what the story is.

The 2nd question is a bit easier. It's sitting down with your bf/fiance and planning out a future together. Have some goals you both want to acheive and move towards. It should be lead by your fiance, he'll be like the steam engine that moves the train to the destination while you'll be like the coal carriage supplying the love and support he needs. It's the easier way I can think of explaining on how the both of you can be more as a team to sustain a fulfilling relationship without going too deep into mascaline energy and feminine energy. It's not intended to to be sexist or anything. It's more about being happy and keeping balance.

If you can clarify the situation to your first question, that'll be great and if you got any questions regarding your second question, let us know


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