# learning from women



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

could we learn from lesbian or bi women , as a man can we learn about sex and what it is like for women ?

Is sex better for women in this type relationship , 

from a book written by a woman she wrights !!!!!!!!!
Did you know that it can take hours for two women together to actually get
to the orgasm stage? That’s because, for us, ideally, the journey is what it’s all
about, not the destination. Oh, cumming is absolutely fantastic for us – but the
time spent caressing, kissing, whispering endearments, heightening each other’s
pleasure, just being intimate with another person – those are the unforgettable
elements of lovemaking for a woman, not being rammed by a ****.

You don’t need to spend hours making your woman orgasm, but the more
you involve time in bringing her soft and slow pleasures, the greater the rewards
for you both. Pay attention to her sounds, the soft noises she makes as you stroke
her, or kiss her throat, these are signals of her readiness.
Watch her eyes for signs. Lowered lids, eyes closing, wrinkles in the
corners from her hidden smile – she’s telling you that she’s ready. Her fingers –
are they moving aimlessly, perhaps stroking the chair or bed sheet? She’s
focusing her body and mind on the pleasure that you’re bringing her, so her
hands are on auto pilot. That’s a sign that the light touch of your tongue on her
vulva might be the most exquisite pleasure that she’s ever experienced.
Don’t be in any rush to get your mouth there, let her anticipate it, let her
yearn for it, let her beg to feel your mouth on her wet and eager *****.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> could we learn from lesbian or bi women , as a man can we learn about sex and what it is like for women ?
> 
> Is sex better for women in this type relationship ,
> 
> ...


As it relates to improving myself (sexually for my wife or any other life-thing) I'm fairly indiscriminate. If I can read/listen and understand then I'm open to learning.

But as it specifically relates to intimacy, the best teacher is the recipient.
Women are not all the same so the snippet you posted might or might not have the same result with your wife/gf/SO.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I’ve been with a few different lesbians over the years. They typically wanted to get down business and didn’t really care to spend hours being lightly stroked behind the knees or having their toes sucked. 

But I’m not a chick and don’t have a soft, sensuous woman’s body so maybe there just isn’t much about a guy that they want to spend hours exploring. 

But either way look up the term Lesbian Bed Death. 

These ultra-erotic passages describing lesbian lovemaking are depictions of the early encounters of new lesbian relationships during the the very early stages of NRE. 

Within a year or so, many lesbian relationships are more sexless than 10+ year heterosexual relationships. 

Can men learn pleasurable techniques and erotic massage and a myriad of ways to make women orgasm? Yes of course, And I am always a big advocate of being creative and not relying solely on PIV intercourse for mutual satisfaction. 

So I think there are always things to be learned and other avenues to explore. 

But I question whether most lesbians prefer women because the actual sex is better. The ones that have opened up to me about their orientation is that it is often the emotional connection and comfort that they feel with other women as opposed to men that is what draws them in to same gender relationships and not necessarily the sexual excitement and pleasure.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Personally, I am not big on the rush to orgasm. I prefer to spend time being aroused, cuddling in coital positions. I would LOVE to be guided in pleasing my partner.

I often asked my wife to be how to please her. I knew she'd had previous experience and could help me please her rather than wasting time on a ton of random dead ends. She just said, "Men know." Well, I didn't know a damned thing so that didn't help. I more recently reminded her of how she had answered my question. She thought that was quite funny.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Julie's Husband said:



"Men know."

Click to expand...

*LOL. They don't. Trust me, they really don't. They need to be trained - even the older ones.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL. They don't. Trust me, they really don't. They need to be trained - even the older ones.


Always willing to learn!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Julie's Husband said:


> I often asked my wife to be how to please her. I knew she'd had previous experience and could help me please her rather than wasting time on a ton of random dead ends. She just said, "Men know." Well, I didn't know a damned thing so that didn't help. I more recently reminded her of how she had answered my question. She thought that was quite funny.



Most women and I doubt if even very many men want to be a sex teacher or coach. 

They want you to just instinctively know.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

frenchpaddy said:


> .....You don’t need to spend hours making your woman orgasm, but the more you involve time in bringing her soft and slow pleasures, the greater the rewards for you both. Pay attention to her sounds, the soft noises she makes as you stroke her, or kiss her throat, these are signals of her readiness.
> Watch her eyes for signs. Lowered lids, eyes closing, wrinkles in the
> corners from her hidden smile – she’s telling you that she’s ready. Her fingers –
> are they moving aimlessly, perhaps stroking the chair or bed sheet? She’s
> ...


So you are saying it is called "p#$$y," because you are suppose to stroke it and lick her fur until she arches her back, exposes her underside and starts to purr?


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

oldshirt said:


> Most women and I doubt if even very many men want to be a sex teacher or coach.
> 
> They want you to just instinctively know.


I'd love to spend time on learning or teaching. If a woman is willing to learn, I'm pleased to guide.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Julie's Husband said:


> I'd love to spend time on learning or teaching. If a woman is willing to learn, I'm pleased to guide.


I’m sure there is some chick out there with a “Summer of ‘42” fantasy out there (reference to a 1970s movie about an older, married woman teaching a teenage boy the ways of love)

But they are going to be few and far between. 

I suspect a lot of women see sexuality the same as surgery - they want the practitioner to show up knowing what to do and how to do it and not have to give instructions. 

You don’t want to have to give your surgeon instructions on how to do surgery on you,, most don’t want to have to give instructions with sex either.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> I suspect a lot of women see sexuality the same as surgery - they want the practitioner to show up knowing what to do and how to do it and not have to give instructions.


I would think many women are made feel it is part of keeping their man happy , I think many men look at porn and expect what they see in porn to be what they should do and be like , 
why many women turn off sex because what they are at the receiving end of is over before they start , the guy that thinks foreplay is he dropping his shorts ,


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

Not going to proclaim anyone does anything automagically - People are as varied as day-to-day weather

Many decades ago - a petite and very feminine and sexy woman asked for something specifically. I agreed.
Then during the procedure she told me EXACTLY what she wanted me to do. I learned all about from her.

Never had any complaints after that lesson!


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL. They don't. Trust me, they really don't. They need to be trained - even the older ones.


Nah, no one needs to be trained. They just need to pay attention and listen. The signals are always there, twitches, changes in breathing, etc, if you're paying attention. Listen and pay attention to your woman. It's not that difficult. No woman is the same, and hell, the same woman isn't the same day to day. Listen to them and pay attention to them.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

oldshirt said:


> I’m sure there is some chick out there with a “Summer of ‘42” fantasy out there (reference to a 1970s movie about an older, married woman teaching a teenage boy the ways of love)
> 
> But they are going to be few and far between.
> 
> ...


Guess I hit all the odd ones, then. They were all on a mission and didn't mind that I didn't know anything.

Are those expecting men to be knowledgeable the party girl type who is there for the man and will accept anything? I've run into one of those.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

I will give my wife credit for telling me that all women like to be seduced. The one bit of instruction and only after 45 years.

And after her stroke. So now seduction is limited to kisses, breasts and vulva. Because of the stroke her entire body spasms at touch in many places, so no soft touches. The areas that respond with spasm seem to change day to day. She says the spasms are not painful, but they are distracting and I just cannot feel that they are not from pain.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

what many describe as the right things to do here are the xyz of sex play,
your already into the play, your on the last run before you climax , and for many men the climax is all that counts , 
But you have to learn about what gets you to there first many men skip the abc .

They come home from work if wife is home before them they walk in the door hang the key of the car on the hook and say hi but walk to the pc their real love , if it is the game they are playing or social media it has more of an importance than the wife , or they rub the dog and say ho doggy how are you I missed you and they rub the dog and interact with the dog more than the wife .looking into the dogs eyes and thinking they can read what the dog is thinking as if the dog can all most talk .

it is the hug that counts giving that moment longer or the kiss that is more than the obligatory peck,
the French have all this built into their lifestyle , I was in a shop yesterday when the son of the guy working there walked in a 20 something old and was talking to his granny who is the owner and his father was serving us when father passed his son they both give a hug it is the french way ,a kind of obligatory kiss or hug , but it can mean no more that a" hi how ya" to each other 

if when your wife feels or can read that when you want sex you do x then don't be suprised if she is not at all turned on,
more so it is an insult to her if the only time you touch her is in what you call foreplay 
there are men that their idea of seducing a woman/ WIFE is THEY PLACE A HAND ON HER BUM OR WORSE BETWEEN HER LEGS jumping in with the coolness of a racing car thinking that the woman should be happy to have him so turned on , 

like when if she has to ask do you love me and the response is" I am here with you aren't I " 
If your love making has falling into that the wife and I say wife here as most cases it is the man that thinks he is the one that initiates sex the most often maybe it is because he never read the wifes right


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> I’ve been with a few different lesbians over the years. They typically wanted to get down business and didn’t really care to spend hours being lightly stroked behind the knees or having their toes sucked.
> 
> But I’m not a chick and don’t have a soft, sensuous woman’s body so maybe there just isn’t much about a guy that they want to spend hours exploring.
> 
> ...


How would you know?


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