# Wife left, how do i get her back??????



## amata620 (Mar 10, 2010)

Well this is my first ever post. Here is my story. My wife and I are both 25 years old, been married 2 1/2 years together 7 years straight since we were 18. I was caught texting another girl i went to school with. I liked her a little, but i never ever touched the girl, not even a hug. I met her at the park 2 or 3 times, but mostly she talked about her bf problems. i helped as much as i could but i could tell we had feeling for each other. Well she got back with her bf and she didnt really wanna text anymore. I was totally ok with it and wished her the best. I still texted her occasionally about school stuff. Well my wife found out about it one morning. She said she had a hunch something was going on with me. She looked looked up my call logs from the past 6 months and was furious. She kicked me out of the house and demanded a divorce. We talked to the priest who married us and he even said this was minor and could definitely be worked out especiallly if i was willing to do everything I could to fix it. WHICH I AM. Well we went to the movies two weeks after she found out and she said we could work it out!!!!!!! Then two days later she changed her mind. She says this is more than me texting. She says i dont have a great relationship with her family and we have always had different personalities. I know she love me. i love her. She filed for divorce already and the court date to finalize is May 18. I told her if thats what she really wants, ill take it on the chin and accept her request. THe crappy thing about this is she was talking to another guy one month before we got married, they called it off and i didnt find out about this guy until about 5 months after we were married. I was furious and i wanted a divorce but i took her back within a week. Now maybe she did this because i was talkin to a girl about 5 months before the wedding, i got caught and my wife forgave me later that day. Anyways we both messed up, but now i did this and i think she thinks ill never change. In all honesty i am young and stupid and i would never trade my wife in for these girls. EVER. I am willing to do whatever it takes to win her back and i begged and pleaded and cried to her for about a month. Its apparent begging will no longer get me anywhere. So i decided to meet with her and tell her I agree with the divorce and told her its probably better if we really do move on( of course i didnt mean a word of this). But i am going to leave her completely alone with no contact at all for as long as i have to. My questions are, Could it be possible that she is completely done with our marriage over this??? Should i really leave her alone and just let the divorce happen May 18???? Is there a possibility she is doing this out of anger, i mean its only been about 8 weeks since she found out and the papers are already filed??? I know shes not seeing anybody else, trust me my wife is a good girl, i know she made a mistake in the past, but she is a good person. Sometimes i think i should just move on and meet new girls, Is it too early for that?? I mean she already filed, and i honestly think shes gonna go through with it. Please help me. Ill answer ur questions because im sure i left out some of the details. I LOVE HER, AND IM SO STUPID.


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## themarriedwoman (Apr 6, 2010)

i guess the issue here is abt trust. hence all i can suggest for u and ur wife re to read the " Speed of Trust" by Stephen covey so u can restore the love and the trust between you two, after all there was something special about her that made you fall in love with her and also there was something special abt you that made her fall in love with u and accept ur hand in marriage long time ago.

sit with her, take a moment to reflect the past i mean the lovely memories u guys had before. tell her how sorry u re abt the mistake u did. and yeah pls read " The One Minute Apology" by Ken Blanchard & Margret Mcbride and implement it, make ur expectation clear with her, walk the talk when u promise her something, show her that u uphold the promises that u made to her.

u can even find the reading material online..take a moment clear your mind and do some reading,perhaps it will give u a clearer piture how u can patch things up with ur wife... tell me how i can help u more ya..

just my 2cents worth..


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## amata620 (Mar 10, 2010)

Trust i would do all those things, but my wife still doesnt even wanna see me at all right now. ive moved into my own apartment and she still lives in our house alone ( soon to be her house). Ive read some books already, but how can i restore our marriage, if i have no contact with her. The only time she has even contacted me in the last 2 1/2 months is about bills being changed to her name or anything not related to our marriage. She says she is at peace right now. I dont believe that. How do i fix this, if she wants me to stay away. And if i do stay away will she ever call???


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## themarriedwoman (Apr 6, 2010)

i cant assure u if she will/will not call u back if u stay away from her. have u try to talk to her family or at least talk to her mom abt ur intention to work things out with her? try to write her a letter or seek help from her friends that she really look up to (to convey ur msg to her) or someone that she has high respect for? perhaps u can also seek professional help.

if it dont workout, mayb its time for u to let it go, and start new. mayb then she will come back and beg for u.

p/s: ppl do things out of anger, mayb her ego is controlling her emotion and mind.. keep praying..if she meant for u she will come back or else u just have to move on..pls do follow ur life principles when making a decision. my opinion and suggestion can be right and suitable to ur situation and it can also be wrong and not suitable too. you just have to have faith in god. Does not mean you think she is a good person as an individual, she is good and the right life partner for u. she might not be the right person.

there are reasons why things happen,perhaps to make us a better person and to be humble and more accepting in any situation.if u re not destined with her after you put so much effort to reconcile.perhaps God has a better plan for you.


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