# He wont leave!!



## Lizajane10 (Oct 11, 2020)

Hello

Married 28 years last 5 have been awful. He decided that he'd rather live a life as a stoner and use pot every day. Not showering. Being completely disrespectful to me. Not doing anything around the house. 

Beginning of September he became rageful when I set a boundary and refused to eat dinner with him because he was stoned. I started doing this in July. He became so aggressive with me the next day, storming around the kitchen, naked! Slamming doors,, banging things,, swearing at me. Telling me he was done, moving. Good!! Thankfully my mom lives close by spent the day with her. 

Two days later I agreed that his moving out was a good idea. He has NOT left. Its been 6 weeks. Says its too hard for him. Covid-19 blah blah. I wouldn't care if he was decent to me! Lately has started swearing at me, starts a conversation nicely then switches midway to rude. Past week he's been walking around with a robe on untied, naked. I've told him to stop and he says its his house!! Today was the last straw fully exposing himself to me and saying I'm a prude. Argh! In our living room. Thankfully our 18yr od son was at work. 

How do people cope??


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Lizajane10 said:


> Hello
> 
> Married 28 years last 5 have been awful. He decided that he'd rather live a life as a stoner and use pot every day. Not showering. Being completely disrespectful to me. Not doing anything around the house.
> 
> ...


Try smoking a little weed...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Lizajane10 said:


> How do people cope??


Get a lawyer. 

You need to start the legal process. You can't just tell him to get out of the house. Honestly, he'd be a fool to leave the marital home.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

Was he always a 'stoner'? Has his use increased over the period of time things have become awful?

I'm my experience, people who regularly use pot (daily) end up on a different 'wavelength' to regular people, and it is not a good thing. They either become paranoid, or so chilled that they don't know when it's time to be serious or not.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Get an attorney and file papers on him.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He only said he was leaving as a threat. When he saw you were serious, he backpedaled. He doesn’t want a divorce but neither does he want to change. So now he’s going to be difficult in the hope you’ll give up. And you can’t force him out. That means you’re stuck until the divorce is final which — depending on where you live — could take some time. Or, if you’re lucky, he may finally get tired of it and move out. 

Is he likely to fight the divorce? If he does, that adds time and money to the process. See a lawyer to find out how to deal with all of this. Divorce can be easy or it can be hard and that usually depends on how the spouse being divorced decides to act.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Definitely get a lawyer and start the legal process.


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## Dadto2 (Aug 11, 2020)

bobert said:


> Get a lawyer.
> 
> You need to start the legal process. You can't just tell him to get out of the house. Honestly, he'd be a fool to leave the marital home.


This. Unfortunately, separation/divorce isn't as easy as one person just leaving. It's fine to ask him to leave...and vice versa...but either of you would be dumb to do so. Too many financial implications that need to be worked out first. 

And any chance he may become physically abusive towards you? I know most stoners aren't violent, but he sounds aggressive and I wonder how far it may go.


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