# Did you ever need lube?



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I remember needing it a few times the first couple months I was with Dug, but not after that. We bought a tube of KY jelly that sat on a shelf for about 15 years until we threw it out during some house cleaning.

We do not do anal, though. Is that why couples continue to use it? 

Just curious about this, as I often see posts about couples where the woman uses an external supply of lubrication.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I used it when I was first married too. 
Some women have a dryness problem and that's why they need it. 
We have silicone based lube in our shower. It makes shower sex easier and fun. The silicone doesn't wash away easily like saline-based lube and my own lubricant.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

katiecrna said:


> I used it when I was first married too.
> Some women have a dryness problem and that's why they need it.
> We have silicone based lube in our shower. It makes shower sex easier and fun. The silicone doesn't wash away easily like saline-based lube and my own lubricant.


Some women just can't get wet? No matter what the man does?


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

jld said:


> Some women just can't get wet? No matter what the man does?




So there are different reasons. Getting wet is hormonal. So right there we know people have different hormonal makeup, but there are medical conditions that affect hormones, and obviously aging and menopause come to mind. 

So I don't want to be gross but... if a man shoves his fingers in and out of a vagina it will eventually get wet. (This is a person without hormonal issues). The reason why the women will get wet is because the body does as a response to protect itself. This way... when a man rapes a women, he doesn't rip her to shreds. Not to be gross but this is real. 

Some women get really wet, some get moderately wet. Some women are very responsive. That's how I am, when I'm feeling it I get really wet. When my husband does something I don't like, or if my mind isn't In it, I will dry up. 

Everyone is different.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

jld said:


> Some women just can't get wet? No matter what the man does?


I made a post in the Ladies Lounge that explains how/why a woman's ability to lubricate, regardless of arousal, falls off pre and post menopause. It's a normal life process, the post also explains the medical treatments available to restore the ability to lubricate. It has to do with estrogen levels.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Also not to be gross but when we ovulate we are wetter and thicker and this is because of hormones.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Just like stress kills mens testosterone, it kills our estrogen levels as well. Women with PCOS experience dryness because of their imbalance of hormones.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

katiecrna said:


> So there are different reasons. Getting wet is hormonal. So right there we know people have different hormonal makeup, but there are medical conditions that affect hormones, and obviously aging and menopause come to mind.
> 
> So I don't want to be gross but... if a man shoves his fingers in and out of a vagina it will eventually get wet. (This is a person without hormonal issues). *The reason why the women will get wet is because the body does as a response to protect itself. This way... when a man rapes a women, he doesn't rip her to shreds. Not to be gross but this is real. *
> 
> ...


Thanks for explaining that, Katie.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> I made a post in the Ladies Lounge that explains how/why a woman's ability to lubricate, regardless of arousal, falls off pre and post menopause. It's a normal life process, the post also explains the medical treatments available to restore the ability to lubricate. It has to do with estrogen levels.


Thanks for sharing that, RS.

I looked up dietary ways of improving natural lubrication and saw this:

_Vegan foods can naturally increase lubrication for women because of the high water volume in fruits and vegetables that are responsible in keeping the body hydrated. Cucumbers, watermelon, and cantaloupe can also help hydrate the skin, lump out fine lines, and give a radiant glow. Foods that are rich in omega 3 fatty acids such as sunflower seeds, raw pumpkin, salmon, among others, can help nourish and tonify a woman who suffers from vaginal dryness. Naturally increasing lubrication can eliminate those moments of reaching for the lube during sex by making both men and women feel more at ease and less self-conscious about their performance and bodies._

https://www.google.com/amp/www.medi...anism-holds-key-healthy-sex-life-275068?amp=1


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

katiecrna said:


> Just like stress kills mens testosterone, it kills our estrogen levels as well. Women with PCOS experience dryness because of their imbalance of hormones.


I am not familiar with PCOS, but read that a low fat, high fiber plant based diet will help it. 

I did not realize that diet could have so much to do with natural lubrication. It does make sense, though. Straighten out the hormone levels, and other things fall into place, too.

I thought sufficient lubrication was mostly a result of the man properly arousing the woman (at least before menopause). I remember, when I was a young teacher, hearing an older teacher saying that before a man ever tries to penetrate his wife, he should have her flowing.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Lube is my savior. Depending on the circumstances; if I give oral on her we do not need it. In other cases it fluctuates on wetness therefore we apply regularly just to be on the safe side for my sake.

This was a very sore subject with my wife because she didn't believe me that it was uncomfortable. I had to explain a burned shaft is never fun.

We use a water based lube that was recommend by her OB.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Juice said:


> Lube is my savior. Depending on the circumstances; if I give oral on her we do not need it. In other cases it fluctuates on wetness therefore we apply regularly just to be on the safe side for my sake.
> 
> This was a very sore subject with my wife because she didn't believe me that it was uncomfortable. I had to explain a burned shaft is never fun.
> 
> ...


Interesting. I did not realize a man could be affected by a wife's dryness.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

jld said:


> Interesting. I did not realize a man could be affected by a wife's dryness.


Yes it can be uncomfortable for some men. She felt defeated when I recommend using lube. All is good now and she completely understands.

Also we've tried oil based, cool, hot, flavored, coconut oil, and so far the water based lubes are the best for us. Just plain and simple.

Edit** So painful for me I went and seen my Dr. to get some prescribed topical cream/ointment.... drunk sex got the best of me


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk


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## AussieRN (Mar 28, 2013)

Lube is great! 
We like a non-silicon natural lube for sex or Hitachi play (or both).
She loves the Wicked Aqua one for oral and its about the only time I get to finish in her mouth as she says it covers up the flavour mostly.
Ive tried it on her for oral and its got a pretty good flavour but I don't mind the taste of a woman so I don't care much either way.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

We use lube often. My wife does get wet, but it never has been as copious as some women I have been with. Since she is not into oral, we use lube very early in our sex. It's way more enjoyable that way. 

The old tube of KY was a messy nightmare. The new lubes are much less messy and way more fun to use. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I never used it but looks like i will be from here on out. I'm 48 and either in peri or menopause. It was shocking-that moment of truth for me.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

coconut oil!


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Only for foreplay - or with toys.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Menopause does not have to impact natural lubrication. No lube needed here, 50 and post menopause. I wish more women would research the positive impacts of what a healthy, vegetarian diet can do for them. I eat lots of legumes, fruit and organic vege, tofu, seeds, nuts etc. and am sure that this lifestyle is what helped me get through peri and then menopause with very little issues. My sex drive and natural lubrication did not change.

Like so many other parts of life, people try and fix after the fact instead of being pro active along the way and avoiding or lessening future issues. I did not take any supplements or hormone therapy, it just wasn't necessary for me and if I look at my family history (which is a big indicator of how a woman will experience menopause) then I followed a totally different path than all the other women. My Mum, sister, aunties all had a terrible time during this phase, none of the were/are vegetarian.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MrsHolland said:


> Menopause does not have to impact natural lubrication. No lube needed here, 50 and post menopause. I wish more women would research the positive impacts of what a healthy, vegetarian diet can do for them. I eat lots of legumes, fruit and organic vege, tofu, seeds, nuts etc. and am sure that this lifestyle is what helped me get through peri and then menopause with very little issues. My sex drive and natural lubrication did not change.
> 
> Like so many other parts of life, people try and fix after the fact instead of being pro active along the way and avoiding or lessening future issues. I did not take any supplements or hormone therapy, it just wasn't necessary for me and if I look at my family history (which is a big indicator of how a woman will experience menopause) then I followed a totally different path than all the other women. My Mum, sister, aunties all had a terrible time during this phase, none of the were/are vegetarian.


Thanks for sharing this, MH. This is consistent with what I am reading on plant-based diet sites.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

MrsHolland said:


> Menopause does not have to impact natural lubrication.




And you don't have to be vegetarian!  

54 here.... we use lube just for all-over fun! It's not a necessity....yet. 

I think part of it is "use it or lose it".


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I have had sex with a few dozen women in my 65 years on earth. Never used lube until I started anal sex with my wife but turned out that she did not need it if she got me hard orally first. Saliva makes a good lube. Plus my wife gets very wet, very fast so I could penetrate her Vagina first and then do anal. Never liked lube as they are messy and I like licking what I am sticking, if you get my drift. >


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

With my abusive ex we needed lube every time...that was because he wasn't putting any effort into me. He didn't bother anywhere else so why would he in the bedroom?

With my husband, we rarely need to use lube, and on the rare occasions we do, it's the first couple of days after my period ends. I just need a bit of a helping hand to get going and then I'm a-ok


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*With my first XW and her endometriosis, we frequently had to employ the use of lubicrants!

Not so, however, with my RSWX ~ because with as many men that she was busy servicing, she was literally good to go in a sheer heartbeat!*


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

frusdil said:


> With my abusive ex we needed lube every time...*that was because he wasn't putting any effort into me. * He didn't bother anywhere else so why would he in the bedroom?
> 
> With my husband, we rarely need to use lube, and on the rare occasions we do, it's the first couple of days after my period ends. I just need a bit of a helping hand to get going and then I'm a-ok


The bolded was my suspicion before I started this thread. A man needs to arouse his woman, at least imo.

Like that older teacher I once worked with said, a man needs to have a woman absolutely flowing before he penetrates her. That is his job.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

jld said:


> Like that older teacher I once worked with said, a man needs to have a woman absolutely flowing before he penetrates her. That is his job.


 @jld this graphic below comes from a website about condom safety. Sometimes without a little help from lube, condoms are at risk for breaking!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

badsanta said:


> @jld this graphic below comes from a website about condom safety. Sometimes without a little help from lube, condoms are at risk for breaking!


Okay, thanks, badsanta!


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