# I feel like giving up:(



## lovie (Feb 17, 2009)

Honestly,

I feel like giving up. I feel non existant... I have gone through so much the past two months, its rediculouse. Yeah I'm sure others are worse off, but I don't ever feel that way. I feel like one more thing will push me over the edge. Hoestly, I often wonder, what is the point of living. Its not like anyone gives a damn about me anyways...I think I proved that one a while ago.

sometimes the pain is so deep, to hard to get through, that somedays I dont even feel like trying...somedays I just want to end it all. Lately, Ive been thinking about doing it more often. For istance the other day, I was driving over a bridge, and just pictured in my head me driving over the bridge, and crashing in the water. 

And then then as I sit here writting this, I wonder how many people are going to think that I am crazy. Nobody understands. I am 23, I dont drink, but I have been recently. I just feel like, why? Why does s*** always happen to me. Two monthes ago, I was involved in a horrible car accident on the highway, my fiance still in the hopsital. then i find out he cheated on me. 6 mnths prior i was robbed at work.
Ive got a list of horrible things ive gone through in my crap life.. 

And the one person who wants to "make it work" my fiance or boyfriend, whatever you want he is to me, doesnt seem to be trying. All i know, is that I feel small. Alone. Sad

I tried talking to my family about it. My mom said she doesnt believe in depression, you can do things to make yourself happy, because your the only one who controlls your emotions. I have no other family around. I work all the time, I only have a couple friends, and they all have kids and are busy. Seeing a councelor just doesnt seem like an option because Its too cosley. I really just feel all alone. I cry all the time. I try to do things that make me happy..but nothing seems to work.

I have nothing to look forward to...nothing. And everytime I do, and things seem to be going right, life comes in, and takes it all away. I just cannot find happiness. The thought of doing something stupid happenes more each day.


I seriously just want to quit...and end it


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## Aiko (Feb 25, 2009)

_Ive got a list of horrible things ive gone through in my crap life. I cant taake it anymore....I have nothing to look forward to...nothing. And everytime I do, and things seem to be going right, life comes in, and takes it all away. I just cannot find happiness._

It sounds like you are focusing a lot on the negative aspects of your life. It, really, is an easy thing to do -- the negative things always have a way of sticking out in our thoughts and memories. Make a list of 10 *good* things that you have experienced throughout life -- they don't have to be big things, just things that made you smile. And don't worry if you have to think about it for a while -- even some of the happiest of people have to sit a while to think of things that make them happy.

_I tried talking to my family about it. My mom said she doesnt believe in depression, you can do things to make yourself happy, because your the only one who controlls your emotions._

I can guarantee you that depression is VERY real. I've lived with it and worked with it. Chemical imbalances in the brain that cause depression aren't just made up to sell drugs. Although we all can change our actions to help our moods, sometimes our moods are so severe that they require medication in conjunction with therapy and behavioral reconfiguration in order for us to achieve a happy, healthy mindset. If _you_ think you need medication and help, then it'd be best to talk to a doctor. Don't lose hope, just yet. There's help out there.

_And the one person who wants to "make it work" my fiance or boyfriend, whatever you want he is to me, doesnt seem to be trying. Maybe its cuz he is in the hopsital, maybe im just looking at it wrong. _

I'm afraid I'm a bit confused -- could you elaborate on this?


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## lovie (Feb 17, 2009)

I dont feel like he cares that much anymore.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

well gonna have to give you my honest opinion. the downfall hits us all. it how we deal with it.
when i was 23 i felt my life going down the pan several times. i was divorcing at the time, had a miscarriage . but there is always someone worse of than you. its not a nice statement , but again this is fact for many other ppl.

im sorry for your circumstances. but for now, you just need to settle down , i know things are really wide open for you. emotions all over the place, fella in hospital.
but i think deciding on any thing at the moment - well actually dont decide because its to soon to decide n e thing. 
i.e going over a bridge.
i think over my life i have made idle threats to myself and my life. 
but you know what im stil glad im here. 
of course you can be depressed. but you have so much negativity going on that you can also label yourself. when really there is just alot of negativity around you just changing your moods and emotions.
either way whatever you do, dont give it up. you wil find yourself again with time and once you find you can like yourself - you can alter any circumstances and issues you are faced with.
because you can change negative attitudes and issues into positives.
but you have to learn just to accept the neg times and laugh at them in the end.thats how i cope, but you also have to be logical in thoughts. see also the positive points of a negative issue.


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