# A Question for the Men about sex



## stepmomandwife08 (Nov 18, 2008)

Okay I have a question for the men...Do men rather have vaginal sex, anal sex or both???


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## women R complicated (Dec 20, 2008)

you raise a topic that is most likely a personal preference and perhaps not done as much as vaginal sex.

I prefer vaginal sex b/c it is more intimate, and if the women knows how to use her vaginal muscles she can really make the man beg for mercy so to speak. That's why keagles are so important. Plus most women can cum easier via vaginal sex.

Do you have a preference?


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## stepmomandwife08 (Nov 18, 2008)

women R complicated said:


> you raise a topic that is most likely a personal preference and perhaps not done as much as vaginal sex.
> 
> I prefer vaginal sex b/c it is more intimate, and if the women knows how to use her vaginal muscles she can really make the man beg for mercy so to speak. That's why keagles are so important. Plus most women can cum easier via vaginal sex.
> 
> Do you have a preference?


Oh we have tried both :smthumbup:


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## women R complicated (Dec 20, 2008)

stepmomandwife08 said:


> Oh we have tried both :smthumbup:



What is you and your husbands preference? 
have you found anal to be more popular? 
what is your consencus thus far?

I personally think a lot will try it but few actually continue. But i will interested to see what the survey reveals.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

tried it once in the back, she will never do it again


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Well, anent the OP, I like both as does my GF. 

However, we don't do anal nearly as much as vaginal. 

It does take a little "prep" for anal...and "learning" to relax the sphincter muscle as well. 

But my GF does like doing me!


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

I have a few thoughts about anal sex. I think its mainly a male obsession, physiologically women don't have a prostate which is what makes it pleasurable for men to recieve anal sex. I've also noted that every time I've talked to men about anal sex online they always insist that they only do it at the request of women.

I think the desire is largely down to porn entering the mainstream in the last couple of decades, porn needs to push the envelope to compensate for a relativly narrow list of things it can depict hence why anal sex got more and more prominance (and why female performers were put under more pressure to do it)

One more thing the apparently approved method of anal sex, where the woman stretches her sphincter using her fingers or an object so as when it actually comes to the man penetrating her it doesn't hurt. Well that basically leaves the sphincter in a stretched state over a prolonged period which has all sorts of health implications later in life (nappies anyone?)


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

No, it doesn't leave the sphincter stretched for an extended period. 

The muscle returns to it's normal function within minutes. 

You may be mistaking the money shot of anal porn where the sphincter is left gaping. 

I don't have any problems with "control" and my GF and I like it. I'm not saying there isn't a little leakage, but I have an enema beforehand and we use (or keephandy) a towel and washcloth. 

And we're both adults and know how the body works. No surprises.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

The long term effects of anal sex are debatable, Its not just another form of sex. Its using a body orifice for something it wasn't designed for.

To have anal sex without any discomfort you need to practice distending your sphincter muscles so a penis can push through it. 
The sphincter will tense up again but the muscle won't be the same. There are health effects of having continuous anal sex over a long time period. Hence the nappies.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I think it is all a matter of taste, so to speak.

draconis


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

haha! "a matter of taste" ewwww gross! ;-) funny draconis... okay in all seriousness, I admit I tried it Once with my hubby, and that will be the last time.... it's just way too uncomfortable, and he says he won't miss it, that he'd rather make love the old fashioned way. I am not judging anyone who gets in to that, as long as it's with a consenting adult, but , Sarah probably has a good point, over time, anal sex can damage the sphincter muscles, especially if it's frequent, I have heard this, so she's not off the mark there. Anytime you need an enema to have sex, it might be a clue that it's not the right thing. But that is Just me , so anyone please don't be offended. Go anal if you really wanna, it's only your business, no one else's.......


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I like both but my wife prefers Vagina so anal is once in a blue moon.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Why bother with the back door, when the front door is so much more appealing?


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Marina, Sarah -- I'm on a few other forums besides this one. One I was on was extremely descriptive of ordinary sexual matters (they upgraded and lost all their subscribers...sigh). 

One of my current forums discusses anal (along with much more sexual content than here). PM me if you'd like more info. It's not porn, but a discussion of sex. 

There is at least one doctor and 3 or 4 nurses as regular, strong contributors. Not a one of them has said there are long term deleterious effects from anal sex. But they also realize that other posters are not talking about doing it every day; just once in a while, but regularly. 

The sphincter is a muscle. Just like your bicep. It can be trained, strengthened, allowed to atrophy, etc. Just like the rest of your body, getting in shape and keeping it there is a life long effort. 

And while I'm not a doctor, I can speak from personal experience of over 25 years of using my own anus, there have been no problems. In fact, I can take a dildo that's too large for my GF to take vaginally. 

And there's nothing wrong with an enema just for the sake of an enema, either! About once a month is normal for me unless we're planning a pegging. Just don't use the store-bought fleet type...they use chemicals; pour it out and refill it with tap water. 

Bottom line -- if you don't want to do it, then don't. If it hurts, then the penetrator didn't know how to prepare you for it (and that's exactly what I told my daughter, too! She laughed and agreed). 

But don't rely on information from someone who hasn't done it. Or who did it once and "it hurt". Research it on your own (heck, ask your doctor about it -- he's heard it all anyway; or google it - you can find anything there  ). 

I'm not pushing anal sex, but so many people have misguided preconceptions about it that they don't/won't even try to see if it can be an enhancement to their repertoire.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

I think one issue with anal sex is how since its entered the mainstream there's a tendancy by people that practice it regularly to promote it as a normal sex act. Part of this promotion of anal sex is I think to do with how it was once seen as a normal part of gay sex, so any criticism of anal sex was seen as somehow being anti gay. These days however many gay men don't practice anal sex, I have a gay friend who's never been penetrated anally. So if gay men are turning their back on it for a variety of reasons it seems a strange time for it to be promoted in the hetrosexual community.

I'm not sure how explicit I can be on here but I'll try and phrase my response carefully. When you push something past your sphincter you're not developing the muscle, you're forcing it to loosen. Sure it'll contract back to its normal shape after a little while but if you get to the stage where you can have anal sex with little or no preparation then you're sphincter has undergone a significant physical change, which might become an issue in later life.

Also regular enemas aren't something that's reccomended by medical professional anymore, due to it disturbing bacteria in your colon.

Just to offer my own experience I did try anal sex on a few occassions, it didn't do anything for me sexually. It's eveybodies individual choice but I think women need to be sceptical about a lot of what is basically promotion dressed up as i'nformation' that's on the internet.


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## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

I prefer sex she wants, vs sex I'm just getting "to keep him from nagging [her]". If she wants something... I mean really wants it, then it will make her happy.

If its something she isn't in to, then even if she is just doing it for me, she probably won't like it.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

sarah.rslp said:


> I think one issue with anal sex is how since its entered the mainstream there's a tendancy by people that practice it regularly to promote it as a normal sex act.


:iagree:

It amazes me that even Christians are talking about it's merits quite openly. One reason I am not all that bothered about it is that everybody's at it these days - it's not taboo or exciting.

I see it as a fetish that some people have and some people don't, but because of porn and the internet, everybody feels square if they aren't all at it.

Any man who does it without a condom is taking a risk of contracting NSU - makes no difference if it's within marriage - it need not be an STD as such, it's just that the bacteria up the butt don't do the male urethra any good.


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## bhappy3 (Feb 4, 2008)

Ok dcrim... haha, I get the name now... clever!! 

Anyway... when I first read the question I thought to myself... if a man wants a woman to give it up, he damn well better allow her to penetrate him like so. Saying that, I was totally not prepared to actually see someone admit to it, dcrim! I was put off at first, but then the honesty appealed to me. Congratulations on exploring more of your sexuality beyond the socially acceptable. 

So, that's all I have to say about it. If a man wants it, I think that he should be made well aware of what it feels like. That is one body part we both have and can share the experience - minus the prostate.


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## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

stepmomandwife08 said:


> Okay I have a question for the men...Do men rather have vaginal sex, anal sex or both???


personally i've never had anal ,to me it doesn;'t seem to be pleasant for some women ,but i've heard that there are some women how prefer it.

i've also heard that its alot better than gettting pragnant.
but there again as another poster here put it its between the two lovers .


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

My wife loves anal sex, she can and will have an orgasm a higher % of the time from anal sex than vaginal sex.

Me personally, I'd much rather have sex with her vaginally, but "accomodate" her by doing anal when she wants it.

Plus, the one nice thing about having a wife that likes anal, is there are times when the vagina can get really sore from frequent sex, anal allows for more options when the vagina is sore, or the monthly visitor is in town.

Like I said, I could go the rest of my life and never have anal sex with my wife again and as long as we still are having vaginal and oral sex, I'd be happy. However, I know she likes it a lot so I have no problem doing it for her at all.


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## smokedout (Mar 31, 2009)

...


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## randy mckay (Apr 10, 2009)

vaginal preferred


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

I've never tried anal sex. It the thought doesn't do anything for me. It seems like it would be...uncomfortable. If my partner expressed interest, I'd try it for her. But for myself? Not so much.


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## phfan_1 (Mar 20, 2009)

As far as a favorite, I hesitate to say favorite. It's kind of like favorite position, depends on the mood.

I will say however that my wife and I both love anal sex. She can come from it. Many times she's the one asking for it, or she's the one that grabs me and sticks it in.

I will also say that I really can't give any clinical data about the long time effects, other than to say that we have practiced anal sex on a very frequent basis for over 15 years and she has no side effects from it. To give you some kind of idea, about a week ago we had four go rounds one evening, the first was vaginal, the last three were anal. I will tell you I love that second time after I've already popped in the backdoor, it's really wet and slippery.

Also at times her vagina gets somewhat swollen I guess if we have a lot of sex in a short period, she prefers anal at these times.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

phfan_1 said:


> Also at times her vagina gets somewhat swollen I guess if we have a lot of sex in a short period, she prefers anal at these times.


My wife is the exact same way, she loves anal. I don't mind it at all, but do prefer vaginal.

However, after very frequent vaginal she will get swollen/swore and then she definitely prefers anal obviously.

She also is much easier to bring to climax through anal than vaginal.


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## Erol (Apr 24, 2009)

well I like the both..Most of women consider Anal sex so rude,dirty and unnatural.. but if the couples make it in slow and hygienic way it becomes so joyful


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## NewtralHuman (Apr 24, 2009)

I am trying to understand how it could possibly be considered hygienic to have sex via the orifice that is used to excrete human waste; let alone whether it was designed for sex.


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## SaxonMan (Apr 1, 2009)

Well, I managed to reach my 45th year without doing this. I had been asked many times, but the thought was just to "ewww" for me.
I have now done it once - or maybe twice (Not exactly sure about the second time as I was tied up and blindfolded at the time... ahem).

It was definitely different. Very nice, but I'd stay with the "regular" way 99% of the time please.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I enjoyed the wife when she was able to have anal sex. It has not happened in years because or medical reasons. I enjoy sex as the connection with her. I dont mind if it is anal sex oral sex or vaginal sex. I enjoy her. The most important is that she is enjoying what I am doing also. I will say it feels so different and that I dont last long that way because it was something I knew she was giving to me as her special gift. I have also been on the reciving end from her when she wanted to explore and play. I know it can be a pain too. It seems the pain melts away to pleasure for me.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

NewtralHuman said:


> I am trying to understand how it could possibly be considered hygienic to have sex via the orifice that is used to excrete human waste;


A man's penis is used to excrete human waste but is used for sex as well...


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## JasonL115 (Apr 27, 2009)

stepmomandwife08 said:


> Okay I have a question for the men...Do men rather have vaginal sex, anal sex or both???


No question... anal. Tighter fit and much hotter. Hard to find someone who'll offer it up though.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

I love both. Its all about the woman's response. If she doesnt enjoy anal sex then there is no point. The last thing I want is a woman enduring something just to please me. I've dated many women in my life and only have come across one who really liked/loved anal sex. And it was great sex! I think to truly enjoy anal sex (and other more fetish type activities) you have to be more into the psych. of it.


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## NewtralHuman (Apr 24, 2009)

revitalizedhusband said:


> A man's penis is used to excrete human waste but is used for sex as well...


You're right. But the penis itself is not an "orifice". Would you consider the surface of the penis as hygenic/clean as the surface inside the anus? (I want to make it clear that I am not simply trying to argue for the sake of arguing; I am genuinely trying to understand. And I do value and appreciate your response.)


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## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

All parts of the human body is for pleasure, simply ask the animals.

Unless you consider yourself something else like a mineral.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Well, I have been somewhat curious about anal, but never had a chance to try it. I would really have to trust the guy completely and he would have to show me he's 'really' hot for it. 

I've used a strap on with a guy once, he was very into that. It was 'ok' but I'm really not much of a DOM in bed, so it wasn't my bag. It was novel, but nothing i long for.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

snix11 said:


> Well, I have been somewhat curious about anal, but never had a chance to try it. I would really have to trust the guy completely and he would have to show me he's 'really' hot for it.
> 
> I've used a strap on with a guy once, he was very into that. It was 'ok' but I'm really not much of a DOM in bed, so it wasn't my bag. It was novel, but nothing i long for.



A couple things I've found out over the years of anal with my wife...

1. The woman HAS to be the one in "control" of the penetration and movement. Until she is completely relaxed and "into" it, if the man just "takes off" and starts pumping, she will hurt, hate it, and never want to do it again.

2. If the above things are done, along with some manual stimulation of the clitoris/vagina, some women will like anal sex much more than vaginal sex and will cum more often by anal than vaginal. My wife is one of these, she will cum every single time from anal sex, unless I did something "wrong" that hurt her.

The 2 best ways to try it for the first time, is either the woman on top so she can control the depth and speed, or spooning.

No way should you ever do anal doggy style for your first time...men typically will end up "pounding away" like a porno and it will TOTALLY suck for the woman. Doggie style anal can be good, but only after the woman is completely comfortable with anal.

I recommend the spoon version first, allows for manual stimulation of the vagina to relax her, allows for some "play" with the anus before any penetration to get the feeling of pressure back there.

Also, the first "push" in any anal situation, especially her first time, had better bet he slowest push the man has ever done. Like I said above, probably better to just let the woman do the pushing at that point.

I took it VERY slow the first time my wife ever wanted it, and to be honest for at least the first 5 or 6 times I never moved, let her do all the work so I knew it was comfortable for her and I wasn't going to hurt her. 

She now is at the point where anal is a regular thing, about once or twice a week (regular sex about 4 or 5 times a week).


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## Roberto50 (May 8, 2009)

I've never been that big on anal sex so I prefer vaginal and/or oral sex especially oral sex when the woman enjoys giving it and really gets into it and knows what she's doing. Overall, I prefer vaginal sex the best.


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## Mr. R (May 5, 2009)

Well, I'm not being judgemental on this: do what you want in your bedroom as long as no one is coerced. But concerning anal sex, I have one word: yuck. Wherever poop comes out, my "little gentleman" will never go in. Also, vaginal makes me go so fast I really have to hold back to make sure my wife is pleased too. Anything tighter would just be unendurable.


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## peaches (Apr 26, 2009)

Could someone explain to me how a woman can have an orgasm by anal sex only---I mean like what is physically being stimulated for this to occur?


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## Roberto50 (May 8, 2009)

I've heard some women say they really enjoy it but I don't know what triggers an orgasm anally in women, I've heard in gay men it's about the pressure put on the prostate gland that triggers it similar to getting a prostate exam but I don't think women have this gland in their anatomy but I could be wrong.


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## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

The cells on the wall of the rectum are not like that of the vagina. People on receptive anal coitus have greater possibility of getting infected with std's (including HIV).
I am a man and do it (if at all) to please my woman if at all she prefers it.
Natural ways are always the best.

By the way there is a thin wall between the rectum and the vagina. Women may still feel orgasmic as the cervix is stimulated during anal coitus. I am not sure if anal is superior than the natural penetration when it comes to orgasm.

If the sphincter is not well relaxed, women may end up having anal fissure which is really painful and may need surgery to cure it. Avoiding anal is the option for me.


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## Dadeo (Oct 2, 2010)

peaches said:


> Could someone explain to me how a woman can have an orgasm by anal sex only---I mean like what is physically being stimulated for this to occur?


I would have to get my wife to explain it, but yes, some women do experience orgasms from it. My wife (as well as a number of women i have known over the years) explains it as simply a different set of sensations from regular vaginal sex. a person can experience orgasm a number of ways. i have met women who could cum from only breast stimulation and one who could orgasm thru meditation and visualization only (absolutly no phisical touch) the mind is the most important sex organ and everyone is different.

As a side note i am blown away at the varied "medical" opinions of this topic. i have discussed anal sex with doctors a number of times and known several nurses (including my wife) who were fans of it. I have never been told by any medical authority that there are long term negative effects of of anal sex PROVIDED that all proper preperations are made. (lube, relaxation etc etc).

but then...

Opinions vary


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## changehappens (Sep 14, 2010)

I think anal sex is disgusting.


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

If I have learnt anything in my life, it's that ALL guys LOVE anal. Not sure why, because its quite disgusting, but it must be a male thing.

So there is my words of wisdom, lol


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

I think that most men are turned on by non-reproductive sex. We like the idea that a woman is turned into a wanton **** by our virility.


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## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

vaginal sex of course, but when i'm feeling like getting down an dirty anal sex is great


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