# Someone help me understand this mess



## elmo (Jun 21, 2010)

First off. I've been married to the love of my life for 6 years. She blind-sided me with divorce and the day she did it she was so cold, showed no emotion, and started blaming me for all sorts of things and stating I would not change, she didn't love me anymore, it's too late, and her "friend" was nothing more than a "friend." (Just 4 days before she did this, I found text messages between her and her "friend" that her family had known but had not seen in 13 years and then he came into visit them and expressed that he was moving back to our state. I questioned her and asked her about the texts I found and she got defensive and stated they were joking around so I left it at that and said o.k.) To beat it all, she did this in front of her parents which humiliated and embarrased me. I have never shown my wife nothing but kindness and love and was always there for her and her family. We have 2 children, one of which is a step-daughter to me. I never dreamed this would happen to me. It's as if she does not care to tear a family apart and possibly lose a home and everything we have worked for. She is 32 and had a Radical Hysterectomy a year ago and it's like she is a different person. She filed for divorce June 10 and obtained an attorney dispite my begging and pleading so I was forced to obtain my own attorney and then once I obtained an attorney, she wanted to file no fault and I told her at this point it was too late to file no fault once she obtained an attorney. She left the home and moved in with her parents. We had our temporary hearing and she played my sympathy stating she wanted marriage counseling and if I would give her back the home, she would agree to give me my son every other week. Now I have done nothing wrong and always have been loving to my wife. During this temporary hearing, I simply got screwed. I gave her the house because I wanted more time with my son and because I was in denial and shock that this was happening to me. Not to mention, I got stuck with paying half of everything plus child support. Why does it seem that the innocent party always gets screwed. We went to 2 counselling sessions and she broke my heart again stating the only good thing to come from our marriage was our son. This crushed me. Here is the woman I love and adhore doing this to me. Since the temporary hearing she will not see me, has nothing kind to say to me, won't look at me, her parents who I was like a son to and loved dearly, wont look at me and have shunned me. She treats me as if she doesn't even know me and it cuts my heart out that she is being so cruel. This "friend" has quit his job and moved to this state and her parents have took him in like a long lost son. Personally, I think anyone like him is a shallow person. My questions are as follows and if anyone can answer them, please do so as I'm searching for answers as to why this is happening.
1. Do all people when they file for divorce treat there spouse so badly or is guilt and shame causing her to treat me this way?
2. Has anyone had this to happen or a similar circumstance to happen and during the divorce process there spouce decide to stop the divorce or reconcile with them?
3. Is there anyone out there who has divorced and regreted it and wanted to reconcile or tried to reconcile?
4. For any women who read this that have divorced their spouse, have you ever came back to your husband and wanted to reconcile?
5. Do you think this "friend" is a fad and she could quite possibly get burned and regret her decision? I have no clue, for all I know maybe this person is just a friend but it is awfully quencidental that I find the stuff and soon after she pops me for divorce and he moves here.


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