# The Guilt...



## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

Sorry all, I am chatty tonight.

I have a struggle. It is really silly. Just want to understand it better through different eyes.

I am getting excited about my new life. I am getting pumped about the time that I am going to have to myself. I guess I am seeing the silver lining. I mean, when I do not have my daughter, WHICH IS GOING TO SUCK, I can do whatever the hell I want to do. I mean anything. Ballgames, Hockey Games, Work out Naked, poop with the door open, etc. (haha kidding)

Now, I have a small guilt inside me, because I feel like I am excited about not having my daughter. It is such a conflicting emotion that I do not understand it. I did not chose this road at all. I did not cheat. I did not remove myself from my daughters life on the days she is going to be with her mother. 

But, I mean, it just feels wrong to be excited.. Because during those moments I am losing the most precious thing in my life.

Does anyone ever get this? 

Thank you!


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Traggy said:


> Sorry all, I am chatty tonight.
> 
> I have a struggle. It is really silly. Just want to understand it better through different eyes.
> 
> ...


Glad you are feeling some excitement about the future that is totally healthy

I worry that my H who can go weeks w/o seeing his kids and then spend 2-3 hrs and go another 2 or 3 wks.... it's getting longer everytime. 

Don't feel guilty about getting excited about the future. If you can't get excited it's too hard to move forward. I am getting excited too. I would still take him back if he was willing to make some big grand gestures/heavy lifting etc. I would try for my kids and our history knowing that this could have just been a horrible phase. 

Move forward. We can't live in the past...
I don't know how old you are but dating someone else does scare me and excites me all at once! I have never dated anyone as an adult other than my stbxh.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I think what you're feeling is totally normal, you should go with it. No, you didn't choose this, but are stuck living the consequences. The time you spend without your daughter will make the time you spend with her more special. And please, go ahead and close the bathroom door!!


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## worrieddad (Nov 3, 2011)

I know exactly what you mean Traggy...Ive been living it now for a good 3 months. The days I don't have my daughter, Ive been really tearing it up if I'm honest - and at first I did feel a twinge of guilt for the reason you describe.  

Like you, however, it wasn't me who chose this life...and I have realised that ill be darned if I'm going to mope about on my 'days off'...to do so would not be moving on at all. That said, I'm always on the end of a phone - on the days I'm not seeing my daughter I do always call her and wish her goodnight.

Being excited about your 'me time', despite the fact that you didn't really want it, is a good thing IMHO - means you are taking the hand that was dealt you and working with it - turning it positive, even.


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