# Some Success with the 180...



## Catcake86 (Nov 26, 2015)

I posted about some about my situation last week, but I'll give a recap. About a month and a half ago my husband out of the blue told me he wasn't in love with me anymore and basically that he was leaving me. I began staying with my parents. I was devastated and did everything I could think of to help fix our marriage. He was very rude and disrespectful to me during this time and I even found some evidence that he was having at least an inappropriate relationship with another woman. I ended up getting to the point where I was obsessing over him and our marriage. I would constantly check his social media, send him e-mails, go to the house to see him, go to the house when he wasn't home and look through things to try and figure out what he had been up to. I was driving myself crazy.
I finally decided last week to try the 180. I knew acting out of desperation towards my husband was getting me nowhere. While I haven't done it perfectly, I have really made a conscious effort to stop obsessing. I have barely been to the house, I rarely message my husband, I don't check his social media nearly as much, I don't go to the house when he isn't there just to check everything out, I get out and do things with family and friends. I really do feel like I have had an awakening. Even though I am still hurt, I have come to realize that I deserve better than how he has been treating me. I feel more in control of my feelings and the entire situation. I finally feel like I have done all I could at this point to help fix our marriage and now it is his turn to turn things around if he decides to. Of course, I still hope things work out between us and I hope doing the 180 will make him stop and reconsider things. But, I think if he never does try to reconcile with me I will be okay. It feels so good not to be living in a state of desperation anymore.


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

I am really glad you came to this conclusion. Showing desperation like that will only push him away and cause more tension and anger in the relationship. However, he doesn’t really sound like the type of person who deserves you anyway. I would turn a blind eye, let him do whatever he wants, and file for a divorce. If he contacts you, just don’t speak to him. If you have kids with him then let him interact with the kids but do not let him know anything about your feelings or what you have been doing because it’s none of his business. Have him served with papers and move on with your life, you deserve so much better. Divorce is daunting and can be scary, but I have found a really good website that I showed a lot of people that helps answer their questions about divorce. This forum is great too because people actually do listen and provide advice. I wish you luck. Free Divorce Information and FAQ's. Do It Yourself Divorce Papers and Forms.


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