# He cheated on me and chose HER



## onedrsfn (Jan 11, 2011)

I feel like im about to have a emotional break down! I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, 2 out of the last seven we have not lived together. He moved in with his parents to help them out. I believed everything was fine, we had a big fight because i found him messaging some girl off of facebook, I confronted him and let him know that it was bothering me and he claimed it was nothing, i was over reacting. Well i couldnt leave it at just that. I confronted her too, she told me that he had just spent the weekend with her. I absolutly flipped out. Me and her had some words and she pretty much told me they were in love and he wanted to get married to her and, pretty much all the things he had been feeding me. She told me a slew of things that i knew she couldnt be lying about. When i confronted him over the phone with the details he just denied them and hung up on me. After about 6 hours he sent me a text and told me he was done I didnt make him happy and he wasnt going to be miserable forever. I pretty much just lost it, a text, 7 years and i get a text break up. Its morning now and i have the wrong mind and want to go over there, but i feel like, for what, he couldnt tell me face to face or even by a phone call so he wont tell me in person. I feel so lost, they only know eachother for a two months and already I am not enough. I guess what i'm getting at(the tears make me ramble), what do i do now! my ego is bruised severly! I dont know whats the next step from here. How do I make these feelings go away and well, what should i do. please, im confused:scratchhead:!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

im so sorry! my heart goes out to you. ive been in the insane state of mind and there's no stopping me when i get that way. honestly if i was in your situation id probably goes smash up whatever was of value to him. i smashed my H's car with a rock once! But dont do that...it really only makes things worse. 

im really sorry for you. i wish i could tell you how to make the insanity and pain go away. your BF is a real jerk!


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

This is probably not what you want to hear: be thankful you were not married with children, for your own sanity and selfworth cut him out of your life completely. Block his phone , mail etc get rid of items that remind you of him. If you have to move then move.

Exercise , eat well, clear your mind , do not dwell on him , better yourself in every way, it is his loss and your gain.

When ready go out with friends , meet new men, talk, laugh, all these together will help you move on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

What are you confused about? He broke up with you. It is awful. You have to grieve. When the grieving is done, learn what can be learned and move along.

Good luck to you.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i sorry, breaking up is rough. take a week, greive, eat ice cream, then move on. 

hes a liar, who needs to be with someone who can honor his commimits?? he lied to you, he is lying to her. he will do the same thing to her in a few years. 

remember, you have broken up-is broken for a reason. dont be involved in his life anymore
it will be ok.


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## Orion (Jul 17, 2010)

onedrsfn said:


> I feel like im about to have a emotional break down! I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, 2 out of the last seven we have not lived together. He moved in with his parents to help them out. I believed everything was fine, we had a big fight because i found him messaging some girl off of facebook, I confronted him and let him know that it was bothering me and he claimed it was nothing, i was over reacting. Well i couldnt leave it at just that. I confronted her too, she told me that he had just spent the weekend with her. I absolutly flipped out. Me and her had some words and she pretty much told me they were in love and he wanted to get married to her and, pretty much all the things he had been feeding me. She told me a slew of things that i knew she couldnt be lying about. When i confronted him over the phone with the details he just denied them and hung up on me. After about 6 hours he sent me a text and told me he was done I didnt make him happy and he wasnt going to be miserable forever. I pretty much just lost it, a text, 7 years and i get a text break up. Its morning now and i have the wrong mind and want to go over there, but i feel like, for what, he couldnt tell me face to face or even by a phone call so he wont tell me in person. I feel so lost, they only know eachother for a two months and already I am not enough. I guess what i'm getting at(the tears make me ramble), what do i do now! my ego is bruised severly! I dont know whats the next step from here. How do I make these feelings go away and well, what should i do. please, im confused:scratchhead:!


I am sorry that you are going through that. The feelings will leave once you realize that you dodged a HUGE bullet. Your ex didn't cherish what you guys had so that was his loss.

I do want to say it is often the case that if a man dates you for that long and isn't trying to marry you, he is probably still looking for something else. This may not be the case with you but it's just something for you to keep in mind for the future. I am not trying to make you paranoid but please keep your eyes open and listen to the voice inside of you so that you won't be caught off-guard again. Good luck.


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## blownaway (Dec 11, 2010)

I have to agree with Eli-Zor. I don't want to minimize your pain at all - you obviously love your BF and were with him for a big chunk of time. But, when this happens and you're married with children, it adds a whole different layer of problems. One day, you will be grateful that you could just cut contact and never have to see this guy again. For those of us with children, we never really get rid of the poison. We block it out, we get over the sting and the pain, but that person is always there because of the kids. It's a very difficult situation. In your case, you will heal quicker and you will see one day that he did you a favor. If he's willing to throw a good relationship away for internet trash, he's not worth your time or your energy. I know it hurts like hell right now, but you will see. Just take it minute by minute. I also know the feeling of wanting to beat the s**t out of both of them - that's a very human reaction. But don't. You want to come out of this looking like a class act. The opposite of love is not hate - it's indifference. To him and her, act completely indifferent. To your friends and family, cry, swear, punch a pillow, whatever it takes. But to him - never let him see you sweat. ... hugs.


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

Eli-Zor said:


> This is probably not what you want to hear: be thankful you were not married with children, for your own sanity and selfworth cut him out of your life completely. Block his phone , mail etc get rid of items that remind you of him. If you have to move then move.
> 
> Exercise , eat well, clear your mind , do not dwell on him , better yourself in every way, it is his loss and your gain.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

It is counter-intuitive but this is the only solution. Be positive, healthy and happy.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I'm sorry for you. There's still something you can do.

Why would you trust the OW instead of your own husband?

If he said no, why wouldn't you trust him but pushing him to say YES.

First of all. I could see your confronting method did have some problems.

Second, trust no OW. OW is the last person you can trust.

Last, your husband was just mad at you because no matter what he said, you wouldn't believe him. So he can only give you up because you gave him no choice.

I'm confused about what exactly you want from him?
Divorce or reconciliation?


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