# My wife's logic baffles me



## losinghope12 (Jan 31, 2012)

So after 8 months my marriage is over. You can read my other posts to see all of the reasons, but the gist of it is she doesn't work, do housework, or much of anything except play World of Warcraft all day and night. A completely unproductive human being in every sense of the word. Over the past 2-3 months she has been engaged in at least 2 EAs including graphic texts and pictures sent to both guys. She was confronted about this and instead of showing any level of remorse, just dug her heels in and was more brazen about it.

I tried to work with her, but it was not meant to be. She brought up almost 3 weeks ago the "it's over" speech and there was nothing worth saving. OK - fair enough I see an attorney yesterday to get an idea of what procedures need to happen to get this divorce rolling. Since we've been married for a very short period of time and have next to no marital assets between us or children, this is pretty much a slam dunk 8 week process. No alimony, child support, all major assets (house, cars, electronics, etc) were pre-marital property

In the meantime, my STBXW recently had fairly minor surgery and stuck me with the $2500 bill  She is still living with me with plans of moving up to her dad's house about 2 hours away after she goes to a doctors visit next week. OK, whatever. So last night we talk about the procedure to file for divorce and that we are both in agreement to end this amicably and go our seperate ways.

Fast forward to today, she talks to her dad and is now freaking out. She just has this ephiphany that she has no job, no money, no prospects, and after the divorce no insurance, and wants a lawyer (despite having no money). All reasonable concerns. So why did you spend the last 6 months treating me like absolute crap? You refused to do any housework. You refused to cook. You cheated on me (repeatedly). You refused to get a job. For crying out loud you couldn't even bother to take my last name after the marriage because you wouldn't bother going to the DMV & SS office. You barely speak 5 words to me every night because you are consumed with playing WoW

Now you tell me to throw the brakes on the divorce you pushed for so you can have several months to get back on your feet. In this economy no less. What the hell?

She seriously thinks I will be willing to cool my heels in this awful limbo period while she moves to her dad's house and spends an undetermined period of time trying to find a job and get her affairs in order. 

Is it cruel that I have every intention of moving full speed ahead with this divorce?


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

keep waiting and all she will do is keep stringing you along..heel even her dad will make her get a job..divorce and get rid of the spoonge


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Full speed ahead. It's all about her. Maybe daddy isn't willing to pay her WOW subscription.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

No it is not cruel that you want to move full speed ahead and you should do it.

The problem is that she can slow it down. She can get an attorney, ask for interim spousal support while the divorce is in process... That could be between 30% to 50% of your income.

If she does this the divorce will no longer be an 8 week easy process


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## losinghope12 (Jan 31, 2012)

Would she even be entitled to interim spousal support? My attorney said for every 2 years of marriage = 1 year of spousal support. Since we didnt even make 1 year, she is entitled to nothing of the sort.

Considering she will be sponging off of her father instead of me, I fail to see how her lifestyle has even changed.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

losinghope12 said:


> Would she even be entitled to interim spousal support? My attorney said for every 2 years of marriage = 1 year of spousal support. Since we didnt even make 1 year, she is entitled to nothing of the sort.


There are different kinds of spousal support.. also called alimony or maintenance. The two major distinctions are the type of support given after a divorce and the Pendente Lite (or temporary) support.

pendente lite (pen-den-tay lee-tay) adj. Latin for awaiting the litigation (lawsuit). It is applied to court orders (such as temporary child support) which are in effect until the case is tried, or rights which cannot be enforced until the lawsuit is over.

Pendente lite support can be awarded by the judge to be paid to a spouse who is unable to be self-sufficient during the separation. 

By law spouses are required to support each other. If one spouse has no income, the spouse with the income is required to support the other. Pendente lite enforces this marriage law.

From what you have said you discussed with your attorney, you discusses an 8 week uncontested divorce. Your wife could turn petition the court and ask for Pendente lite, that you keep her on your medical insurance until the divorce is final. A crafty attorney on her side might be able to drag the divorce out for a few months to 2 -3 years. Though I’m not sure what they would use to drag it out since you have no assets or real money. But you do have income and attorneys can be good at going after that. Your wife also has the right to her own attorney. She can ask the judge to have her attorney fees being paid out of either marital income (your income) or out of community assets.

It is the after-the-divorce-support that your wife is not entitled to because of your short marriage.


losinghope12 said:


> Considering she will be sponging off of her father instead of me, I fail to see how her lifestyle has even changed.


The court will not care that she gets help from her father. Her father is not required by law to support your wife. You are. By law, all income that both of you earn during marriage belongs to both of you. Right now she has the right to 50% of your income. She also has the legal obligation to pay 50% of all community debt.

Have your attorney draw up your divorce papers and serve your wife. You will then find out if she is going to just sign them and you get the quickie divorce or if she is going to go for a few month’s Pedente lite support.


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## smith9800 (Mar 7, 2012)

You are doing right thing. She is responsible for this....


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Losing, 
Talk to your lawyer ASAP!
If everthing EleGirl says is correct, perhaps your lawyer can suggest something like an upfront cash deal. Dangle a couple of thousand dollars in front of her face (if you can afford to) with her getting something now (a grand or two) to hold her over until the divorce goes through (uncontested) in 2 months and then tell her when it does go through, she gets $X.

It seems to behoove you to work out some time of support deal for her for the next two months IF she will continue to do this UNCONTESTED.


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## desperateguy (Mar 8, 2012)

I wonder what would happen if your home internet connection/modem "broke" for a few days and she couldn't play WOW 

She is an addict pure and simple.


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

Yeah she is addicted to it. She needs help. That game is terrible for relationships.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

have you explored an annulment?


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