# newly married - only have sex once a week?? help please!



## amandab23 (Oct 10, 2013)

My new husband and I have been married for 3 months - only together 6 months before we got married - in the very beginning we were having sex 3 or so times a week - he's very reserved in the bedroom and I thought maybe that would change with time once we were together longer...we now have sex once a week - on the weekend only - I initiate it always - I give him oral sex a lot - I have never received it from him- when we do have sex it is really good, I think he worries that he gets off to quick -he always apologizes afterwards... he is a little quick but it doesn't bother me. I want to have sex a lot more - were young we should be doing it every chance we get right? is it me? how should I go about getting him to want it more?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Congrats on getting married.

You are the one doing the initiating and he doesn't.

Sounds like he is LD "low sex drive" and you're HD "high sex drive".

If this is the situation, talk to him about sex now and tell him what you expect and how often. Otherwise, the sex that was 3x week, now 1x week, could be 1x two weeks and them 1x month......

Deal with him now or it may be too late.

And yes, you guys should be having sex all the time. No kids, newly weds, sex all the time.


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## testr72 (Jan 15, 2013)

It will just get less with time, and then kids will come. You need to talk to him


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## amandab23 (Oct 10, 2013)

Hes very busy with school and family and me - most nights when I cuddle up to him and try to initiate it , he kisses me quickly and then nothing- he says he tired and is immediately asleep- I think well maybe he is just worn out - maybe that's why we only do it on the weekends - I don't know what to say to him - or how to deal with it


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## aeasty (Jun 5, 2013)

Well there is a couple of thing you could try. Stop with the oral as much or just tease him with it don't finish! Also try and wear stuff to really get him going it doesn't have to be lingerie but that is usually always a good way to a guys pants. Try and put sex in his mind before he walks in the door and before he leaves I know from past experience if a girlfriend or even just a casual thing puts sex on your mind then the whole day all you can focus on is what your going to be doing later and it can lead to some really hot sex. If he is worried about being abit quick try using a condom if you guys don't already, it gives you less sensation so that might extend his time a little. Try a different position maybe if you are up for it, just a few little things that might help but also have a talk with him and make sure you too are both on the same page when it comes to sex my ex wasn't and she had the thought of sex is only for making babies while I thought differently and it was a big clash for us
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

These conversations never get easier in marriage. Its time to say something to him now about your desires and expectations for sex. There is no benefit in waiting to have this conversation.

I know this for a fact because, like you, I hoped things would work their way out and then I realized it had been 18 years. 

"I wanted to speak with you about sex. I love having sex with you but anticipated having sex more than once per week. How do you feel about how things are going?"


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## amandab23 (Oct 10, 2013)

The oral sex has pretty much stopped, but I get all dolled up every single night - I smell good, I look good - every night - its exhausting really....and I do it all for nothing - I have sent him sexy text messages trying to get it in his head before he gets home but he doesn't respond to them - like I said hes very reserved - he spanked my ass once and once he asked " can I **** you now" but that's about it -


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## testr72 (Jan 15, 2013)

Is he seeing someone else on the side?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

amanda said: "only together 6 months before we got married ... he's very reserved in the bedroom and I thought maybe that would change with time once we were together longer"


This is your main two mistakes. Not knowing each other long enough before marriage....and assuming he would somehow change once you were together. I understand how these mistakes are made, it is common. But the price of making these mistakes is very high, the price you are paying now.

When you try to talk to him about it, what does he say?

How old are both of you?


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Wow,only married 3 months and already he is loosing
interest big time in sex.

You have no kids an you go out of your way to get
dressed up and still he has no interest.

It's already starting to affect your image and self esteem.
He's the problem,not you.

He is most likely is LD and thinks sex is not important.
If he dosen't change your better of divorcing him,
before kids come along as this will only get worse
with time.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

When he gets home, greet him at the door wearing a long coat.

However, under the coat, you are wearing a nightie or nothing.

I hope he gets that message. But you do need to sit down and tell him when you have his attention about your desires.

Some men are not good mind readers. Tell him he should appreciate what he has in your marriage.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

amandab23 said:


> My new husband and I have been married for 3 months - only together 6 months before we got married - in the very beginning we were having sex 3 or so times a week - he's very reserved in the bedroom and I thought maybe that would change with time once we were together longer...we now have sex once a week - on the weekend only - I initiate it always - I give him oral sex a lot - I have never received it from him- when we do have sex it is really good, I think he worries that he gets off to quick -he always apologizes afterwards... he is a little quick but it doesn't bother me. I want to have sex a lot more - were young we should be doing it every chance we get right? is it me? how should I go about getting him to want it more?


If he's worried about finishing too quickly that might also have got into his head and make him shy away from sex. Fact is, if he did it more frequently his staying power would likely increase.


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## testr72 (Jan 15, 2013)

Amandab23, many men would kill to be with someone like you 

If you cant keep his attention now, then with time it will get much worse, and eventually with a little baby the frequency will really drop off


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

How old are you both?


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## flynndsx (Oct 12, 2013)

It will just get less with time, and then kids will come.


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