# H's Nicotine Addition - Withdraw Pain for All



## stillINshock

My H has been an addicted smoker for years and unfortunately has tied it into his belief that he needs it to succeed. His additions around smoking and other things have been very destructive to our marriage - recently hitting an all time low by his having an affair with someone who he 'didn't feel guilty' with - and for the feel-good pleasure of it. He regrets this and is trying to get his life and our relationship back on track. He wants desperately to quit smoking - and hearing our son ask why he smells like cigarettes has been his final straw. But this withdraw process is so incredibly painful for all of us. He is mopey, convinced he'll fail, and turns to other additions - like [email protected]##ing iphone games. I have hurtful flashbacks to his addiction to the pleasures of his online affair that arise - but I really want to help him get past this. I can't play the role of bad cop - he has to do this on his own so its not taken out on me again. Please, is there anyone out there that can suggest how a pleasure-seeking cigarette addict can make the quitting process better - faster - less painful for all?


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## amberlynn

my mother in law is going thru this, she just started today, and we told her, as did the dr, that to help fight the cravings, she needs to find something to distract her mind, like nitting, or crossword puzzles..maybe being playing Iphone games is something that helps your H fight his craving for a smoke.. its a long hard process, but you just need to be his support, let him pick up another habbit that keeps him from wanting a smoke..being stressed out wont help him any...i went thru this with my Step-dad, theres gonna be mood swings and other things that come along until it is out his system, just help him along, and remind him that he can do it, and that you're his support.


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## preso

Have him try the smokers gum or lozenges... and a new hobby, like walking, biking, rollerblade or jogging.

I recently found out my dog has a nicotine addiction, he has been eating cigarette butts. My husband caught him and I have been watching him now and he steals the butts and eats them !!!
Now we have to watch where the butts go, so dog will not eat them !!!


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## Rhea

He needs to replace the bad fixation w/a good one...I'm a smoker and I'd love to quit and someday I will...I believe that alot of the times it's the habit more so than the action...at least for me anyway...it's replacing the eat, smoke, tv, smoke, talk, smoke, clean, smoke, sleep, smoke, with something else....driving wow....that's my big one...I'm like uh...wth do I do while I'm in the car...anyway be patient w/him. Get him some lozenges or gum, or some sort of sugarless candy. What about the patch? Also have him talk to your family doc there are short term meds that can help w/the mood swings etc...my SIL took some meds for a minute whilst quitting.


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## amberlynn

preso said:


> Have him try the smokers gum or lozenges... and a new hobby, like walking, biking, rollerblade or jogging.
> 
> *I recently found out my dog has a nicotine addiction, he has been eating cigarette butts. My husband caught him and I have been watching him now and he steals the butts and eats them !!!
> Now we have to watch where the butts go, so dog will not eat them!!!*QUOTE]
> 
> :lol::rofl:


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## Amplexor

I quit nearly years ago and was a pain in the rump.... Edgy, grumpy. That passed after about 3 weeks and the desire to smoke began to ease at about a month. Six months down the road the desire was pretty much gone. I did put on weight but was able to lose it. Have in hang in there, it is a waiting game with the addiction. But he will feel so much better and confident when he beats it. Good luck, keep providing him with direction and support.


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## MsStacy

The iphone games will help him. A smoker needs something to do with his hands while trying to quit smoking. For women (and maybe some men ) knitting is a great distraction. Handheld games are great, crossword/Sudoku puzzles, etc. Keeping the hands busy is very important. Oh...and eating sunflower seeds (still in the shell) is great for that hand to mouth habit he has.

As for the moodiness, that will just take awhile. The new stop smoking medication, CHANTIX, is fabulous. Both H and I were long term smokers. We had tried the lozenges, gum, patch....we quit for awhile and always went back. The Chantix works by blocking the specific receptors in the brain that process nicotine as pleasurable. You start taking the medication while still smoking. Gradually the smoking is less and less pleasurable and we just stopped. I still have a few friends who are smokers and family members (which was always my downfall), and although I will have a little twinge here and there, I am not fighting the urge while around them. It's like it turned off that switch in my brain.

Anyway....that's what worked for us, everyone is different. Please just be patient with him, it really is brutal. His habits are going to be some of the hardest things to break, but the most important. Don't feel threatened by the iphone (unless of course he's doing something he shouldn't) those games are truly helping. He needs something to do with his hands.


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## martino

-1 on Chantix. My doctor asked me why I would want to alter my brain chemistry to quit smoking? not smart when you think about it. 

Play your Iphone as much as you want, I ate sunflower seeds shelled, wait one month and buy yourself a nice gift with the money you would have thrown away on cigs. I quit back in January and have done it this way succesfully.


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## stillINshock

Thanks everyone. Well, he's fallen off the wagon again. At least he's a little nicer. But I can tell he's bummed. He's just so damn convinced that its his only 'reward' for work done. work...reward...work...reward. Its really a bummer. And I just can't stand the fact that his body might rebel. Both of his parents are cancer survivors. What is he thinking? And with the marital trouble we had, it is clear that I can NOT play the 'judge' role and 'help' him quit. I played that role for a long time and it led to so much pain. I'm at a loss. And my kids will surely figure it out soon. He has lied to me in the past and really hurt me. So I CAN NOT stand for any more lies. (pit in the stomach). Help?


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## preso

I saw in the store, cigarettes are about double from last year. 
Smoking is getting expensive... too expensive !!!!

That alone is reason to quit !


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