# emotional abandonment



## lonleme (Feb 2, 2012)

well after searching the internet there is actually a term for what my wife is doing to me.....go figure.... ready for the funny thing, my father did the same thing to me...

Guess I am just not very likable :scratchhead:


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

A lot of times people will subconsciously seek out relationships where their partner has the same traits of the parent you had the most issues with growing up.

Doesn't make it any easier though.


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## CSeryllum (Jan 23, 2012)

Emotional abandonment can be a defense mechanism as well. They shut down emotionally and cut off any feelings, essentially throwing up an unbreakable wall. The longer it goes on, the farther you two get from one another.

I don't know your back story, but sometimes you need to seek counseling and REALLY try to get her to open up.

My wife in the end did the same thing to me...got to a point where she didn't care about me in any way, shape, or form...even got angry with me and told me to kill myself. After 8 years, she had been the sweetest person on earth...who would have thought she'd go that far? I certainly didn't....but emotional abandonment is dangerous...because in her eyes....you are nobody special. No more important than any other stranger out in the world.

That may be hard to hear...but that's how it is i'm afraid....I would seriously recommend, if it's an option, couples therapy...it can really help (or hurt, but that's the chance you take)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Welcome to the club. My husband was emotionally abandoned and physcally abandoned by his after when he was 13. Hubby is 56 now, he last saw his father when his dad left 43 years ago.

What my husband has done now is to emotionally abandon me. It's amazing how a person can live in the same house with you and still not even seem to be there.

It's not that you are not lovable. It's that you chose someone who cannot love. 

I did too.


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