# How to cheat without letting your spouse find out?



## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Warning: You might find this thread very disturbing. I'd once come cross to a book that offered cheating tips. I went through and only remember few tips of them. Not to promote cheating, I haven't physically cheated yet, but if you're already in the middle of a PA, I would love to share some personal views!
Many ppl have tried to cheat but got caught by their spouses. As a result, cheating once gets caught would seriously damaged many aspects in a marriage that sometimes has nothing to do with sex but with kids. You would hate to deal with it. I'm sure you know very well the risk but why cheat? Is cheating part of a human nature that goes against monogamy? Married men or women, we all know, cheating happens everywhere and everyday. Yes, marriage vows told them can't cheat but why they cheat?
Excuses or some facts? When your spouse is not responsive sexually, aren't marriage vows broken in the first place? Vows are not just about faith, but also love, respect and care. When a spouse ignores and disrespects the other spouse's sexual needs. The vows have been broken already. How many spouses out there are truely able to endure loneliess for the rest of their lives? Who said it's a choice not to cheat? Do we really have a choice not to feel lonely and horny? Do we really have a choice not to have the desired for being loved passionatedly and lustfully? Can you distinguish your lust and forever musterbate? Why you're the one who broke the vows when your spouse is constantly cold and your spouse is free from judgement?
Yes, one can control one's behavior but one'll be unhappy, frustated, and unsatisfied forever.
In the end, cheating is the way to give constant unsatisfaction a break, a temporary excitement with a little happiness . The only problem is your spouse would hate you to have such break. Why? 
Love is selfish, your spouse won't let you have a delicious cake and eat it.
Your spouse would hate to know you're sexually happy with someone else because your spouse cares about her/his happiness the most, not your happiness.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Oh, I almost forgot to share the tips:
1. Keep your mouth shut! Don't tell anyone including your best friend or family members. The mouth must be totally zipped.
2. Date your affair far away from home.
3. Don't leave any clue. Phone contact, email, facebook, internet communication is very easy to get caught. 
So, use a public phone, use passwords, codes that only you and your affairs understand.
4. Don't say stupid lies that easy to be found out to your spouse. 
5. Pay cash, avoid using credit cards.
6. Be a supportive spouse. You still need to be a hard working person, loving spouse, parent. 
Don't make cheating bring negative effects to damage your family.
Sex and family are two different things so make sure your affair follows this rule well. You will have to cut right off with your affair if she/he starts to request you impossible things.


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## sac1872 (Mar 15, 2011)

"love is selfish, your spouse won't let you have a delicious cake and eat it too". Then maybe a person shouldn't be married.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

LOL is marriage only about having sex with your spouse?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I told my husband marriage is not about to lock your cok in a jail only for my pussx, but make sure you always put on a condom and NEVER pass any disease to me.
I won't get divorced even if one day I discover a PA of my husband. It would be weird if my husband is a saint.
It's very stupid that because of sex, a family/marriage collapses, what is your fundation of your marriage? Sex?


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> I told my husband marriage is not about to lock your cok in a jail only for my pussx, but make sure you always put on a condom and NEVER pass any disease to me.
> I won't get divorced even if one day I discover a PA of my husband. It would be weird if my husband is a saint.
> It's very stupid that because of sex, a family/marriage collapses, what is your fundation of your marriage? Sex?



Thats like saying "what is the foundation of marriage? Paying bills? Staying sober? Doing work around the house?" 

Anyway the one night stand is the secret to not getting caught. Any type of continuous behavior will be found out by someone paying attention.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

The secret to not getting caught is...

Don't cheat.

No marriages are not built on sex alone, they are built supposedly on love, trust, communication, giving, receiving, time, effort, support, intimacy, sex, work, respect and so on.

cheating destroys many of the things marriages are built on, so cheating is not just about sex.

If your spouse is that selfish that they don't care about your emotional or physical well being then you need to learn to communicate and try and work it out. 

If you are going to break your vows and cheat, you should just break your vows and move on, and not be a selfish liar.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

lack of sex is rarely the reason people cheat. lack of sex is a result of a lot of other things wrong in a marriage.

the answer to those things that aren't working is neither withholding sex not looking for sexual fulfillment elsewhere. I cheated and I know it was the wrong thing to do.

the right thing to do is address the issues and if they can't be fixed, you weigh whether you can live with things the way they are or make changes, openly and fairly.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Must have either been written by a bitter man or a bitter woman, who think cheating is the answer.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Chris Taylor said:


> the right thing to do is address the issues and if they can't be fixed, you weigh whether you can live with things the way they are or make changes, openly and fairly.


What Chris said. AND as an added benefit you get to look at yourself and not see a deceitful person lacking in character enough to be honest. Sorry Chris. Hopefully recognizing you did the wrong thing, you have done the best you can at remedy and amends and can forgive yourself and look in that mirror again with confidence. But when you are looking to START cheating, I cannot fathom how you can not even think about what that does to your sense of character.

Get right or get out, imo.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Thanks for your comments! Some comments are very down to earth, some comments are only for those who probably don't live on earth.

Sorry again if you find this thread disturbing. Please ignore this thread if you have a life standard as a saint and you believe everybody should think like a saint.

I'm pointing out a brutal honest truth that cheating happens everyday. If you can remove the lust from human beings, you can wish people don't cheat. You can also use religion to control people's behaviors but not everybody is religious.

To tell people don't cheat is like to tell a person to endure the sexual hunger. Are you going to be rewarded a golden metal for being stupidly faithful to your cold ass spouse?

When divorce isn't an option, that's why people cheat. When divorce is an option, people get divorced really fast. If you ask why people choose to be a liar, it's a nonsense question because divorce isn't an option!

In a marriage, there are many issues in sex or trust or whatever, there're kids issues as well! 

Cheating itself doesn't destroy any of those issues until the moment you're caught! 

Then your angry spouse will bring up all these issues and put them together until they become an overwhelming disaster! That's the risk/cost you must pay for cheating!

If you have an affair now, it's too late, so make sure you don't get caught because your spouse is gonna kill you and torture you emotionally only because you have some fun with someone else even it's protected sex.

So remember the rule # 1 keep your mouth zipped!

Don't care about what other people think. They don't care your marriage is destroyed. They don't care you lose the custody of your kids and they don't care your family damaged. 

They always tell you to be a saint, or try to get out of the marriage if your cold ass spouse remains cold, which is somehow, funny.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Thanks for your comments!
> 
> Sorry again if you find this thread disturbing. Please ignore this thread if you have a life standard as a saint and everybody should think like a saint.
> 
> ...


No one said anything of the sort. People said fix your marriage problems or leave and get sex from someone else HONESTLY. 




> When divorce isn't an option, I somehow agree ONS is a good option.


When is divorce not an option? Citing kids is a lame excuse. Cheating, modeling deceit, is not in the best interest of children. Modeling a useless marriage is not in the best interest of the kids.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

MsLonely said:


> Warning: You might find this thread very disturbing. I'd once come cross to a book that offered cheating tips. I went through and only remember few tips of them. Not to promote cheating, I haven't physically cheated yet, but if you're already in the middle of a PA, I would love to share some personal views!
> Many ppl have tried to cheat but got caught by their spouses. As a result, cheating once gets caught would seriously damaged many aspects in a marriage that sometimes has nothing to do with sex but with kids. You would hate to deal with it. I'm sure you know very well the risk but why cheat? Is cheating part of a human nature that goes against monogamy? Married men or women, we all know, cheating happens everywhere and everyday. Yes, marriage vows told them can't cheat but why they cheat?
> Excuses or some facts? When your spouse is not responsive sexually, aren't marriage vows broken in the first place? Vows are not just about faith, but also love, respect and care. When a spouse ignores and disrespects the other spouse's sexual needs. The vows have been broken already. How many spouses out there are truely able to endure loneliess for the rest of their lives? Who said it's a choice not to cheat? Do we really have a choice not to feel lonely and horny? Do we really have a choice not to have the desired for being loved passionatedly and lustfully? Can you distinguish your lust and forever musterbate? Why you're the one who broke the vows when your spouse is constantly cold and your spouse is free from judgement?
> Yes, one can control one's behavior but one'll be unhappy, frustated, and unsatisfied forever.
> ...



Please tell me you are kidding. If not, be a decent human being and dump your partner so you can deal with your sexual frustrations. Partner not giving up enough for you? I get it. Just let him/her go and let them find a person capable of a mature relationship.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Getting married is like placing all your bets on your spouse and keep your finger crossed and pray that your spouse is always hot & good in bed for you.

Some people are lucky.

Some people are neglected for years!

Some people are literally kicked out of the bed.

Sometimes, it's not always sexual unsatisfaction, but most of times, it is.

The funny thing is if you're the loyal spouse being cheated even though you didn't give much sex and you have neglected your spouse for years, but never mind, everybody will blame your cheating spouse by principle.

Can someone help me understand this double standard?

Marriage vows is only about having sex with the right person?

The love and care parts of the vows are not important?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

:iagree:


Kobo said:


> Thats like saying "what is the foundation of marriage? Paying bills? Staying sober? Doing work around the house?"
> 
> Anyway the one night stand is the secret to not getting caught. Any type of continuous behavior will be found out by someone paying attention.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


A son asked his father how much does it cost to get married? The father answered, "I'm still paying for it!"


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

When we get married, the sex was hot, the love was strong, nobody knows later on everything is gonna change. We didn't get married to cheat. Cheating happens when divorce isn't an option. 

When we said the marriage vows, we were honest. Who is a lair from the very begining of the wedding?

When marriage goes in a miserable way, we adjust ourselves and take care of ourselves when the spouse doesn't give a damn about us.

What so wrong?
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Just a question for jealous spouse:

When your spouse had some fun with someone else, why would you hate so much? Why would you hurt so much if in many ways your spouse is still a great parent and a supportive partner?

Don't you want your spouse to have a little break and enjoy a bit happiness that you failed to give?

Or you prefer your spouse to suffer from a sexless/unhappy marriage that makes you happier and less hurtful?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I'm not focus on helping people repair damages but avoiding damages to occur.


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## spartan (Jun 8, 2010)

mslonely, if you are looking to try and sway this forum that having an extramarital affair is GOOD then you are on the wrong forum.

there is no double standard here- if you were a mature adult then you would either find a way to fix your marriage or if you want to continue being intimate with other people than your husband, it might be time for you to walk away.

Larry the Cable Guy quote- "guns don't kill people.... husbands that come home early do"


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Quote: Cheating devastates families, friends, reputations... 

It depends on the loyal spouse.

Some loyal spouse's anger can really destroy everything, so before you take the risk, make sure you prepare for the worst.

When you go for it, don't regret what you decide. 

Getting married is no big deal as well as getting divorced.

Elizabeth Taylor got married and divorced many times because she knew what she wanted in different stage of her life. She's always beautiful.

You can't make a person to stay faithful with you forever. Always be ready to pack and go. It's not the end of world being cheated or cheat. 

So loyal spouse, you will need to figure out why your spouse prefers to have sex with someone else.

Something wrong with your spouse, or with you?


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> I'm not focus on helping people repair damages but avoiding damages to occur.


One thing I think I have noticed in your posts is that you are unhappy with your sex life, but you are unwilling to discuss what his point of view is. I have never seen you reply to anyone asking you WHY he might not be interested in sex. I recognize that I might have just missed it.

You do not seem willing to engage in what people MIGHT be able to actually help you with, repair your marriage, whatever is broken with it, so that your husband wants to have sex with you or work on that aspect of your marriage with you. 

Are you interested in starting such a thread? My guess is that you will get many helpful responses.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Thanks Mom6547! If you read all my posts and stories. You should know that my sexual life isn't perfect but it's pretty good at this moment.

Yes, people can give tons of good views and insights here.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

MsLonely said:


> Everything has a risk. Everything has a good and bad side, that including getting married.
> 
> Getting married is like placing all your bets on your spouse and keep your finger crossed and pray that your spouse is always hot & good in bed for you.
> 
> ...


I have a good buddy of mine that has a strong sexual appetite and his ex-wife's libido was not up to the challenge. He basically went almost a year without intimacy, never cheated but sat her down and spoke honestly with her about it. She was good for two weeks and went back no intimacy. He held on for another six months (for the kids) and served her divorce papers.

I agree with what he did. Some marriages are strong enough or weak (depends on who you ask) to tolerate affairs and/or lack of intimacy. Yes intimacy is very important in the young formative years of a marriage. Plenty of studies prove this link. 
Having said this life is about choices. If your partner has abandoned you emtionally,physically, etc and its past your tolerance level, give your partner the chance to rectify it. Sit down and have a deep honest conversation that clearly states what you expect. If the person does not agree to this and you NEED what they can't offer then clearly state that this is a dealbreaker. 

In conclusion, just be open and honest with your partner and if they do not meet your needs then give them time to fix it. If they are not able or unwilling then consider separating because it will be miserable for both of you. 

PS: This is assuming your needs are reasonable. Some people are never happy and have "parasite" personalities. They are takers while never really giving back. If you are like this PLEASE divorce before you cheat so your partnet does not follow your path of personal destruction.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I think it a right forum. Affair is not good, but it happens.

You know your goose is cooked if you're caught, so the best way is not to get caught. It's very important not to get caught. Many cheaters don't get it so they get the red card and be kicked out of the game.

To put some balance on some old advice that basically didn't work out well. It's enough you stay here longer, you see all the stories and tragedies repeatedly occur. When the affair is discovered, the goose is cooked. It's too late to rescue unless your spouse is more open minded.

So to avoid the damage, is make sure you don't get caught.

Damage starts to grow bigger and bigger only after cheating EA/PA is discovered.

If someone here is in the middle of affair, I wish to share some down to earth tips not to let the spouse find out. In the other hand, cheating spouses should continue to be a supportive spouse and a great parent. You should feel happier and balanced after taking a break, and able to continue paying your due as a husband/wife/parent. 

Don't let any affairs affect your marriage.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Mom6547 said:


> One thing I think I have noticed in your posts is that you are unhappy with your sex life, but you are unwilling to discuss what his point of view is. I have never seen you reply to anyone asking you WHY he might not be interested in sex. I recognize that I might have just missed it.
> 
> You do not seem willing to engage in what people MIGHT be able to actually help you with, repair your marriage, whatever is broken with it, so that your husband wants to have sex with you or work on that aspect of your marriage with you.
> 
> Are you interested in starting such a thread? My guess is that you will get many helpful responses.


Some women believe that all men are walking erections. That us men will basically bang anything that moves. Trust me I say this that a man in a miserable marriage will not be to inspired to make sweet love to his wife when she is nasty, disrespectful and just a PITA to be around. Maybe this is the case?


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Syrum said:


> The secret to not getting caught is...
> 
> Don't cheat.
> 
> ...


I agree that marriages are not built on sex alone. But sex is an extremely important part of maintaining the love, trust, communication, intimacy and commitment to the marriage.

But UNTIL you've been denied that intimacy with your SO, then you have no idea what it can do to your self-esteem, confidence, feeling loved and desired and a host of other issues.

I don't condone cheating and I have never cheated, even though I was actually advised by my IC that I might need to take a lover due to my situation.

So while I am not condoning cheating--I can thoroughly understand how someone could get to that point--until you've actually been through it yourself, you have absolutely no idea how destructive it can be on your soul and how it can tear apart at the entire foundation of your marriage.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Sorry again if you find this thread disturbing. Please ignore this thread if you have a life standard as a saint and you believe everybody should think like a saint.


Why is having morals and values and believing that cheating is wrong being a saint? 

I will admit that your theory that the marriage vows are broken if one spouse withholds sex has some merit to it. HOWEVER, that does not excuse the other spouse and allow them to cheat. If one spouse is withholding sex, then the other spouse can file for divorce on the grounds that their spouse has broken the marriage vows, or misled them to get them into marriage, and I'm sure there are other grounds that this would cover. Cheating...not the answer. This is a situation in which the "two wrongs don't make a right" quote holds true. 

I have never cheated, and I will never cheat. This does not make me a saint. This does not make me any better than anyone in this thread who has cheated. It is simple a matter of morals and values, and believing that if I find myself in a situation in which I want to sleep with someone else, then my relationship has serious issues that either need to be addressed and resolved or can't be resolved and the relationship needs to end. 

I don't think the problem here is that other people live as saints. I think the problem here is that you've decided that cheating is an inevitable result of marriage and that there's nothing you can do to stop it, so you simply accept it. I see no reason why I should have to accept sharing my partner with someone else; I refuse to do that. If you want to, that's your decision.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Sanity said:


> I have a good buddy of mine that has a strong sexual appetite and his ex-wife's libido was not up to the challenge. He basically went almost a year without intimacy, never cheated but sat her down and spoke honestly with her about it. She was good for two weeks and went back no intimacy. He held on for another six months (for the kids) and served her divorce papers.
> 
> I agree with what he did. Some marriages are strong enough or weak (depends on who you ask) to tolerate affairs and/or lack of intimacy. Yes intimacy is very important in the young formative years of a marriage. Plenty of studies prove this link.
> Having said this life is about choices. If your partner has abandoned you emtionally,physically, etc and its past your tolerance level, give your partner the chance to rectify it. Sit down and have a deep honest conversation that clearly states what you expect. If the person does not agree to this and you NEED what they can't offer then clearly state that this is a dealbreaker.
> ...


Your comment is indeed very good but only for those who not yet cheat.

Not for those who already cheated and don't want to get divorced.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Thank you for your very good comment!

@ Wendy, please continue to keep your moral standard high.

My thread isn't for those people who will NEVER cheat.

You can say cheaters have a lower moral standard or whatever ugly judgements/adjectives are accepted.

Maybe for your situation I won't say, "Being a saint" because a saint isn't that easy to become anyway.


@ everyone, 

To be a saint, you have to endure the loneliness and your sexual hunger for many years- then probably you're a saint in someway.

I don't promote that kind of moral value when a spouse's sexual need has been neglected.

I haven't physically cheated on my husband but I won't garantee I will never. I don't expect my husband to have high moral standard neither. What I'm sure is I will NEVER get divorced because of cheating.

Cheating is to have sex with someone else. As long as the family is not damaged by the affair, protected sex is acceptable.

After all, marriage isn't a cage. 

It is supposed to be a beautiful and happy commitment.

Anyone who lies to his/her heart trying to ignore his/her own sexual needs because of marriage vows...

You might be faithful to your spouse but you're being dishonest to yourself.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

mommy22 said:


> Then you don't say the vows. YOu don't make a promise. You don't get married. Yeah, everything has a risk but being faithful does not equal being a "saint". It just means you meant what you said at the altar-- that you can be trusted.
> 
> Risk? Lots of kids my son's age are into a choking game because of the "high" it gives them. A number of kids have died because of it. I warned my son about it. His answer was "Why would I risk that? That's crazy! How could some little bit of what people think is fun be work risking that? No way!" How is an affair for one's own pleasure any different. If you think it won't somehow leak out, think again. It devastates families, friends, reputations...
> 
> ...


Marriage is a team and requires compromise on both sides.

Promises are to be kept by both the husband and the wife. Vows are to be kept and upheld by both spouses.

It doesn't work if only ONE spouse is keeping their promise and upholding their vows.

While in theory, I understand what you're saying, real-life dictates that it doesn't work this way. While love is supposed to be about supporting and wanting what is best for those you love, when you continue to get neglected and rejected, the warm fuzzies start to fade fast.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> When we get married, the sex was hot, the love was strong, nobody knows later on everything is gonna change. We didn't get married to cheat. Cheating happens when divorce isn't an option.
> 
> When we said the marriage vows, we were honest. Who is a lair from the very begining of the wedding?
> 
> ...


This is where I DISAGREE.

Divorce is always an option.

People are the ones who decide it's not an option.

Do you really think that children in a marriage that is not functioning properly are clueless as to what is going on?

I got news for you - they're not. They can sense the tension, the change in how mommy and daddy interact. They hear the arguments you try to hide from them, etc.

Divorce is always an option.

I divorced my first husband with an 18-month old child, no money and no idea what I was going to do. It was more important for myself and my child to be in a loving, safe situation than it was to stay for any other reason.

Was it hard, sure - but all good things in life usually are.

People who CHOOSE not to divorce are choosing to stay for other reasons that are usually selfish and self-centered. Kids are used as an excuse. You can maintain a close relationship with your children even if you're not in the same home - that choice is up to you. Finances - not a good reason either - is your mental stability and that of your children important or is the money? There are numerous programs to help in establishing a new life and putting food on the table.

All just excuses - divorce is ALWAYS an option.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I recognize that you are in pain, angry, and feel unfulfilled in your marriage.

And it's true, none of those feelings are what somebody signs up for, or expects, at the altar when they take their vows. 

But advocating 'smart cheating' on a website geared towards strengthening marriage, or coping with the issues of faltering marriages isn't going to generate anything positive or helpful.

It's flame-bait. 

If you and your husband are in agreement and support the notion of one or both of you pursuing sex outside of the marriage, then it isn't cheating ... you are both aware of, and have made a choice about the arc of your relationship. But it doesn't sound like that is what you are advocating.


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## spartan (Jun 8, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> This is where I DISAGREE.
> 
> Divorce is always an option.
> 
> ...


Quoted for truth. very well put.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Explain when a divorce is "not an option".

If you are not satisfied in your marriage and need to cheat, then you need to either:

a) work on your marriage
b) leave the marriage

Cheating is never the answer.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Thank you for your very good comment!
> 
> @ Wendy, please continue to keep your moral standard high.
> 
> ...


There is nothing saintly about refraining from cheating. I would think that if monogamy is not possible for a person, one should not enter into it. 

I think responsible non-monogamy is a much better option.

I have an opinion about "sainthood" and moral character that I don't think most people share. I believe that happiness REQUIRES a sense of self character. One can attempt to make deposits in the happy bank by doing things lacking in character. But the withdrawal from the happy bank that going against character causes will always be worse. And worse still, it is difficult to SEE the unhappiness that lack of character causes.

I think lack of character; deceit, cheating, stealing... are not just bad for the victim, *they are very bad for the perpetrator." This is one of main arguments for not cheating.




> Cheating is to have sex with someone else. As long as the family is not damaged by the affair, protected sex is acceptable.


I disagree 150% with this. Cheating is deception. And you can never really protect 100% against STDs. Just is not possible. So one is entering into dual deception, the lying about faithfulness and accepting a risk to your spouse without their consent.



> After all, marriage isn't a cage.
> 
> It is supposed to be a beautiful and happy commitment.
> 
> Anyone who lies to his/her heart trying to ignore his/her own sexual needs because of marriage vows...


Nobody is suggesting that ignoring your (ones since you seem to be saying your sexual needs are being met right now) sexual needs. People are advocating getting sexual needs met through fixing the marriage.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

People can have good reasons or excues not to get divorced. 

Not all the marriage problem should be resolved with divorce.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Of course if the marriage can be fixed, people would try to fix it. 

Nothing works better than falling back in love with each other but falling back in love is not that easy as well.

If you're in the middle of cheating, the comments from loyal spouses remindered you to re-evaluate who your spouse really is and how big the risk is. Make sure you have a plan to handle your very angry spouse once your affair is discovered. 

Their anger will come like tonardo the moment you're caught.

Do you know how to fix it? OMG... I don't know how to handle a tonardo either, probably you can dig a hole in the ground and hide yourself in there for a while. When the tonardo can't find you, you don't get attacked.

You might need to face the broken home after the tornardo but, it's life. Either you crawl back to your spouse or you move on.

Go back to read my tips so you will have a little chance to get caught.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> People can have good reasons or excues not to get divorced.


Reason and excuse are two different things. An excuse is a tool of self delusion.



> Not all the marriage problem should be resolved with divorce.


No definitely not. They should be SOLVED not buried under the rug then used as an excuse to cheat.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Of course if the marriage can be fixed, people should try to fix it.
> 
> Nothing works better than falling back in love with each other.
> 
> ...


I think the reason that this is the case is that the vast majority of people believe that they are. Wonder WHY you aren't hearing anything new from those proclaiming what a good idea cheating is to get your needs met?


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

MsLonely said:


> Getting married is like placing all your bets on your spouse and keep your finger crossed and pray that your spouse is always hot & good in bed for you.
> 
> Some people are lucky.
> 
> ...


Look at it this way. Your solution, to lie and cheat and get really good at it is kind of like engineering a 9.0 earthquake then being shocked by the resulting tsunami. And the fallout is literally with you forever like from the damaged nuclear reactors.

You're fooling yourself.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

michzz said:


> Look at it this way. Your solution, to lie and cheat and get really good at it is kind of like engineering a 9.0 earthquake then being shocked by the resulting tsunami. And the fallout is literally with you forever like from the damaged nuclear reactors.
> 
> You're fooling yourself.


THAT was a nice analogy.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

This thread is proof that your husband's tactic of taking all the blame does not work.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Free from STD after cheating?

This is a good topic.

Both parties who agree to have a discrete relationship must provide a valid blood test.

Always put on the condom including oral sex.

You can find a strawberry flavor condom for oral sex.

Unless you have been together for quite a while and you know this person, trust NO ONE! Including your own spouse!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

WhereAmI said:


> This thread is proof that your husband's tactic of taking all the blame does not work.


I don't mean to create this thread for my own issue.

Ususally, people handled EA/PA in a totally opposite way from my husband's, that is, to push and give pressure to the disloyal spouse. Setting more and more limits that they call boundaries and doing more spying work watching the disloyal spouse's each move, which they call transparency.

From the moment they discover their spouses' EA/PA, they literally treated their spouses with no respects and treat them like a criminal but they call it fixing the marriage and make the marriage work.In the end, you can see the disloyal spouse couldn't endure it anymore and preferred a divorce and wanted to check out the marriage.

You can see the loyal spouse in the end being kicked out of the marriage. Sad and wondering why...

In this case, it's better you don't fix nothing.

In this case, it's better you don't be faithful.

Because when you're too faithful, you're too proud, picky, bossy and you're impossible to fall back in love with.
My husband is humble. So he's probably the only one who resolved my EA issue sucessfully.

However, my issue has nothing to do with my thread. I just wanted to offer some ideas for those people who suffer from a miserable marriage, involving in an EA/PA but not yet ready to get divorced.

Simply offer them some tips to help them avoid dealing with their proud, bossy, angry spouse. When they are settled and ready. They can get divorced or whatever meanwhile, they need to take care of their sexual needs although unfortuantely, with someone else. 

When the spouse doesn't want to take care of your needs, you have to take care of yourself.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

MsLonely said:


> They basically treated their spouses with no respects and treat them like a criminal but they call it fixing the marriage and make the marriage work.


You really have a twisted sense of "logic."

Informative in a way that I don't think you intended.



MsLonely said:


> Because when you're too faithful, you're too proud, picky, bossy and you're impossible to fall back in love with.


"Too faithful"?

"Impossible to fall back in love with?"

If my cheating spouse had that attitude I would not even want her to do me any favors by deigning to return attention to our marriage.

To be honest, I have to wonder what you are trying to accomplish with this thread.

Repair of your own marriage? Doubt it.

Give a roadmap for justifying your cheating? Likely.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I agree. This thread is more about justifying deceitful and untrustworthy behaviour than it is how to get away with cheating as the topic suggests.

Because the third post got it right. The way to get away with it is to never start.


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