# Anyone else try to get their spouse to join TAM?



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I tried to again last night to get my wife to join TAM. She won't do it. She told me it's not her thing and she thinks it's better to keep this "my thing". She also mentioned something that we shouldn't feel the need to do EVERYTHING together. 

That last statement made me laugh a little because I was putting around on the computer until about 8:30 last night and she asked me why I didn't come to bed earlier when I knew she was out of the shower and in bed? I shrugged my shoulders. I think she just wanted to use me for sex...

Any happy couples post together on TAM or members who tried to get their spouses to join TAM? The only couples I know are ones that came from CWI.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I tried to get him to join but he flat out said "conversing with people online is NOT my thing."

He does enjoy hearing me talk about some of the topics here.Many of the things here make for interesting dinner conversation at home.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I've tried. He thinks I'm nuts...so what else is new 

I just got him on Facebook!

I usually show him the humorous memes thread. I sometimes think he reads because there are times it seems like he is responding to what I've written in a thread.

I need at week in the tropics so bad! Don't you all agree my husband should take me to the tropics for a week of raunchy sex! Click like if you agree!!!!!


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Yep. Tried but she isn't interested. She made one post to 'defend' me about 18 months ago, it was such a lovely post that I saved it, it was in one of the many alpha threads.

It was in defence of my 'betaness' in being upset when she came home one lunch time and cried and I started to well up hearing her.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I tried to get him to join but he flat out said "conversing with people online is NOT my thing."


Same here. I know she reads a stream of consciousness thread on another site but doesn't post. She doesn't even like to post questions (but occasionally does) on hobby sites.

That and "we don't need relationship advice"  (I'll take some.)


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Some people like/enjoy message forums and some don't.

I do, my wife doesn't. 

I haven't tried as I simply know that she doesn't like/has 0 interest in any message forums.

I don't want to force my ways down her throat....


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

DoF said:


> I don't want to force my ways down her throat....


Yes, but the other way round is the common wisdom in SiM


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

CharlieParker said:


> Yes, but the other way round is the common wisdom in SiM


Hey, I won't say that I don't force "other" things down her throat....at times....but at least she likes that.

:sleeping:


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

DoF said:


> Hey, I won't say that I don't force "other" things down her throat....at times....but at least she likes that.
> 
> :sleeping:


It's another penis thread or a blow job thread.... Now I know my husband will read this!

Honey!!!! Beach!!!!!


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## Eagle3 (Dec 4, 2013)

_I need at week in the tropics so bad! Don't you all agree my husband should take me to the tropics for a week of raunchy sex! Click like if you agree!!!!! _

Anon I think your husband is now posting in SIM area about tips for satisfying your wife on a tropic getaway. He does read on here!!!


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

I have thought about getting her here. 

Either it will help or it will make it all worse. The way people punt divorce on this site is a bit scary.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jamestone (Mar 30, 2014)

I have tried to get her to join on more than one occasion. Tried to get her to just come and read the threads. She just refuses to give it any effort. Pretty much just like all other areas in our marriage that involves us trying to connect more and build intimacy. 

Its whatever.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Eagle3 said:


> _I need at week in the tropics so bad! Don't you all agree my husband should take me to the tropics for a week of raunchy sex! Click like if you agree!!!!! _
> 
> Anon I think your husband is now posting in SIM area about tips for satisfying your wife on a tropic getaway. He does read on here!!!


On my way over to sim...


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

Just a couple days ago I asked my husband if he ever read anything on this site. He knows I have been reading a bit of it in the 6 months or so, but I don't know if he knows the actual name of the site or anything. He said "No way!" I told him it could be really helpful. He responded that he'd leave it to me to read and relay stuff to him! So typical of him, lol!

I may start sending him links to threads, but so far I haven't.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

My wife will listen with interest on occasion when I talk about TAM, but generally it's not her thing. I'm sure part of her issue would be talking about our life. She's a pretty private person. She did get a kick out of one of my threads where I asked for advice for frequent travel. She enjoyed telling me that she was right, LOL.

Also, I wouldn't want to inadvertently subject her to a couple of my biggest "fans". No doubt they would be rude. 

ETA, the only couples on TAM that I'm aware of all came from CWI. They're pretty good people, but it sucks if that's the only way couples come to TAM together.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

Not TAM, but another. Since she was severely foggy (SA WW) and looking for a pat on the back, she got run off; Twice. Ever since then she’s hated online forums filling my head with non-sense from haters. She prefers to ‘live life’ instead of trying to live vicariously through others. 

She hates being wrong. Being wrong to an entire group of people with a vast amount of experiences is unbearable for her. She’d rather go out and find someone who parrots back or doesn’t look to close at the gaping omissions in the information she provides. Then she can feel mostly right about everything since all she’s done is find parrots and yes men rather than judgment and opinion.

Some folks can’t stand being called out. Some can’t defend their positions. Some just can’t express themselves in writing… It’s not for everyone.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Racer said:


> Not TAM, but another. Since she was severely foggy (SA WW) and looking for a pat on the back, she got run off; Twice. Ever since then she’s hated online forums filling my head with non-sense from haters. She prefers to ‘live life’ instead of trying to live vicariously through others.
> 
> She hates being wrong. Being wrong to an entire group of people with a vast amount of experiences is unbearable for her. She’d rather go out and find someone who parrots back or doesn’t look to close at the gaping omissions in the information she provides. Then she can feel mostly right about everything since all she’s done is find parrots and yes men rather than judgment and opinion.
> 
> Some folks can’t stand being called out. Some can’t defend their positions. Some just can’t express themselves in writing… It’s not for everyone.


Don't know how you live with that Racer. More power to you! You must be one strong ass person!


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> My husband tried...and succeeded...here I am
> 
> I hear that makes me a troll?


Under bridge dweller MJA, under bridge dweller.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Eagle3 said:


> _I need at week in the tropics so bad! Don't you all agree my husband should take me to the tropics for a week of raunchy sex! Click like if you agree!!!!! _
> 
> Anon I think your husband is now posting in SIM area about tips for satisfying your wife on a tropic getaway. He does read on here!!!


Well, you got me. I looked!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Tried to get my wife once but she was never into forums of any kind.

She sometimes reads a bit here ,when she sits next to me ,if i'm on my laptop on the couch and then it's back to chatting on skype or whatever.

I'm on a few other forums, local politics and fitness / bodybuilding, so I guess she's just accustomed to seeing me typing away.

If I ever succeeded in getting her on here, I know for sure she'll be stuck in social.

She lives like she doesn't have a care in the world.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> If I ever succeded in getting her on here, I know for sure she'll be stuck in social.


You say that like it's a bad thing. Oh, crap, wait, this thread is in General


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Well, you got me. I looked!


Seriously! Took me an hour to figure out he wasn't there! Booo eagle!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> My husband tried...and succeeded...here I am
> 
> I hear that makes me a troll?


Demotologically challenged.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

I asked my wife to join TAM. She said everyone here already knows how wonderful I am so she'd have nothing more to add.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> She lives like she doesn't have a care in the world.


She doesn't, does she?


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Maybe there are more couples on TAM than is obvious . . .


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Wouldn't know anything about that either...


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

jld said:


> She doesn't, does she?


lol,

You're right!


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

Anon Pink said:


> Don't know how you live with that Racer. More power to you! You must be one strong ass person!


lol... the key was counseling by people with certificates and doctorates. She needed a "professional at this" to tell her the same things as everyone here. :scratchhead:

Apparently, the lack of credentials just makes us all 'the angry mob' and 'internet facts'.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

WyshIknew said:


> Yep. Tried but she isn't interested. She made one post to 'defend' me about 18 months ago, it was such a lovely post that I saved it, it was in one of the many alpha threads.
> 
> It was in defence of my 'betaness' in being upset when she came home one lunch time and cried and I started to well up hearing her.


I remember that post ..so happy I caught it .. smart woman you have there!... I've been defending the *GOOD Beta* in men ever since I landed here (I felt like it was slashing my husband in some ways ).... I think getting irritated over so much of what I was reading ....played a part in keeping me hooked here.. 

My husband offered to join 2 yrs ago this month (just checked his joining date) he has a whopping 48 short posts...he did surprise me putting one on here last night... he is out of town right now.

The topics & conversations of TAM are so varied... I often run scenarios past him, we bounce things off of each other...and we learn about ourselves too...

It's really NOT his thing to post on forums, he has other pastimes he enjoys.... I am the writer...where I could write a book.... I swear he struggles with a sentence... Yet he took the time , offered to give it a shot...

He supports my interests & openness here... He shows up on my threads from time to time anyway.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> he has a whopping 48 short posts...he did surprise me putting one on here last night... he is out of town right now.


He's kinda like the Dos Equis guy, he doesn't post often but when he does it's good stuff. Thanks to the both of you.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CharlieParker said:


> *He's kinda like the Dos Equis guy, he doesn't post often but when he does it's good stuff. Thanks to the both of you*.


You know I had no idea who this was...Had to look him up...








.

Teen sons walked in here and I asked them if they knew who he was...a beer commercial guy...then they educated me on things going viral and memes ...and we were looking some up.. they had me look this one up.. you gotta love that face!










Thanks Charlie Parker!


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

My wife won't come on,she thinks I'm obsessed with the site.she did not know about the other different subjects here.She even told her therapist I was obsessive.Hey I'm retired and have a lot of time on my hands.I learned that this is very smart people who want to help others in their difficult times.I do get a little depressed and angry by the way these couples in the stories treat each other.From abusive people to down rightvg disgusting kstories.how you could treat people you are supposed to love. on the general discussion forum my wife will help me if a Jewish question comes up.,She is Jewish,we've been married 33 1/2 yrs so between the two of us could help at least one person. You are smart and intelligable people and should be proud of yourselves.keep up the good work.my whife and I haven't cheated in all our marriage a now it will be hARDER BECAUSE SHE HAS So. 
because she many health issues.Plus if I did I would be afraid of what you ladies would do to me.thank you for reading:


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I would be totally shocked if my husband joined this site or any type of relationship site.


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## Happyfamily (Apr 15, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Any happy couples post together on TAM or members who tried to get their spouses to join TAM? The only couples I know are ones that came from CWI.


He was posting here before. I been reading, and it isn't too bad. A little full of himself.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Happyfamily said:


> He was posting here before. I been reading, and it isn't too bad. A little full of himself.


When you get right down to it...we're all full of it in some way.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

LOL, invite my wife to this dysfunctional mess? No thanks. I've seen how female posters who share my wife's viewpoints are treated here. Although I think this site could use more level headed posters, I think she would just end up being a punching bag for angry people on most threads.


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## QuietSoul (Feb 11, 2012)

No way! This is a really private and anonymous space for me. I first came in here for support during a really low point in my marriage, poured out alot, and still prefer to keep it private from him.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

My W at one point checked TAM to see what I was doing, but it got her too worked up. Said TAM was making me "hold on to the hurt."

She would never actually contribute, because it would mean owning her sh!t in public.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> LOL, invite my wife to this dysfunctional mess? No thanks. I've seen how female posters who share my wife's viewpoints are treated here. Although I think this site could use more level headed posters, I think she would just end up being a punching bag for angry people on most threads.


LOL! I've been a lightning rod myself from time to time. You can't take it personally. You're right, we need more viewpoints on here because sometimes our community suffers from groupthink.


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