# Hate Husbands Job



## summera (May 4, 2011)

Hi, I am new to this site, and need some friendly advice, I have no one to ask their advice and thought that maybe I could get a little from all you wonderful people.

My husband has a great job, but very social, traveling to amazing places, black tie events, fancy lunches/dinners with clients etc, i am at home with 2 kids, I don't work, and resent my husbands job and the fun he has at it.

My issue is that I am jealous of everything he does, for example he is going to Europe next week for a 3 day event with a female colleague during this trip they will be attending parties and a formal black tie event together, I feel sick about all the fun he has while I am stuck at home, when he goes away I make him feel bad, I call him all the time, and harass him while he is away. 
I am at a loss at the moment, I want to be one of those cool wife's, but I just don't know how to get past the jealousy issue of his work, he works very hard, he is a great dad but I am beginning to hate him because of his job that he loves so much.
Any advice on how to deal with his work would be greatly appreciated


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## Markie (May 4, 2011)

summera said:


> when he goes away I make him feel bad, I call him all the time, and harass him while he is away.


i can understand your jealousy and situation, and no offense, but from a guys point of view, doing this is a very good way to push him away from you, if you know what i mean....


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I know that this isn't what you want to hear, either, but 
1) In today's economy, be happy that he has a JOB.
2) Be happy that he has a job that he loves and is successful in it.
3) See about leaving the kids with a relative and joining him for one or more of his trips.

There are a lot of women with unemployed/underemployed husbands and scores of men and women that absolutely hate their jobs, but do it for their family.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Are you sure he is really having fun? I have a job kind of like that, and it may look fun from the outside, but honestly it isn't. I would so much rather be home with my family having meatloaf and mash potatoes wearing my sweat pants. 

He has a good job, he is providing for you and he is probably making the best of it and the situation...it really isn't fair of you to be mad at him for it. THAT would piss me off.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

DanF said:


> husbands and scores of men and women that absolutely hate their jobs, but do it for their family.


YES!


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## nynaeve3 (Apr 12, 2011)

What about you and your hobbies? Are you at home hating your husband's job because you have loads of time to sit around seething? 

If you get invested in your own hobbies and interests, then not only will it potentially serve as a pre-occupation to stop you from ruminating about your husband's perceived fun, but it would also hopefully give you something to do which you enjoy and cut back that feeling of being the one stuck at home.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

nynaeve3 said:


> What about you and your hobbies? Are you at home hating your husband's job because you have loads of time to sit around seething?
> 
> If you get invested in your own hobbies and interests, then not only will it potentially serve as a pre-occupation to stop you from ruminating about your husband's perceived fun, but it would also hopefully give you something to do which you enjoy and cut back that feeling of being the one stuck at home.


You know what else?? My daughters are 16, 11 and 10 now and I WISH I could be with them, help them with homework, take them to school and sports, and share their every day...instead I am working and on the road. I am jealous of my dh.


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## bunnybear (Jan 13, 2011)

Keeping yourself busy will keep your mind off being jealous to your hubby. How about going out with your friends atleast once a week, work out, shopping, pamper yourself for a day, read books, take kids for outings, hang-out with family members,etc. I'm a stay at home mom too and I make everynight a party to my kids. I make yummy food and my kids dressed up for fun and we watch a movie after. Also, I do what I've suggested. I also take my kids for a walk and picnic coz I live across the beach and nearby parks.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I second the part where are you sure it's all that much fun? I've had that high profile job where I traveled to fabulous places and let me tell you it gets old. Living out of suitcases, restaurant food, hours spent in planes, airports and lonely hotels. Being on the road isn't all it's cracked up to be and I'm glad I don't do it anymore. And now it would be worse because I'd miss my kids terribly.


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## dhh123 (May 1, 2011)

Yeah, I'm one of those that had that job where travelling and attending events was part of the deal. Believe me when I tell you that the third time at one is NOT the charm.

I can appreciate how it looks and why that might upset you. It did my ex-wife. And it's one of the reasons she's now my ex. Support what he does.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

dhh123 said:


> Yeah, I'm one of those that had that job where travelling and attending events was part of the deal. Believe me when I tell you that the third time at one is NOT the charm.
> 
> I can appreciate how it looks and why that might upset you. It did my ex-wife. And it's one of the reasons she's now my ex. Support what he does.


Agreed, I so want to be home with my family, but I am doing what I need to do...if hubby was up my ass about it, our marriage wouldn't survive


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