# husband talking to girls



## ashleyjones15 (Nov 19, 2010)

My husband and I have been married now for about a year, this year has been really hard for me because he has been talking to girls inappropriately thru facebook, he also has been texting these girls. He has said he isnt doing it anymore but i know he because i have gone through his facebook and through our phone reccords and seen the numbers of these girls. I dont know what to do anymore or how to talk to him anymore because everytime i confront him he gets super pissed off and then nothing gets resolved. please i need some good advice.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

You told him not to do it anymore and he's still doing it. So what are you going to do? You have about 3 options, the way I see it: 

1. Put up with it, let him get away with disrespecting you, treating you like crap, and essentially cheating on you (if he's not already cheating, and I'm sure if he isn't already, it's only a matter of time). 

2. Tell him you've had enough and you're leaving. Then divorce him and move on to find someone who will treat you better. 

3. Tell him this behavior is unacceptable and demand that it change, and require some major changes: the ability to read his facebook/texts, marriage counseling, etc. 

Frankly, for me, option 1 is not an option. I would not be able to live my life that way. I feel I deserve better than that; and I feel you deserve better than that, and i think you agree. So that leaves with you options 2 and 3. Which of those you choose depends on what you are willing and want to do, and what you think is best. If it were me, I'd go with option 3 with a warning that option 2 is on the table if things don't change, and then I'd follow through with what I said if things didn't change.


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## jimrich (Sep 26, 2010)

re: everytime i confront him he gets super pissed off and then nothing gets resolved.
.... That attitude from a marriage partner would have me packed and out the door NOW!
Why are you putting up with that????????????
It's your life!


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Tell him to stop or else face the consequences of stepping over proper marital boundaries. Even though you have access to most of the things you need, tell him to personally give you the passwords to FB and to have his phone to check up on him. His acting this way is what caused this. If he wants your trust back, it will have to come from him disclosing ALL his personal means of communication.


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## heatherlindsay (Sep 1, 2010)

You told him to stop and he didn't.
What does that tell you about his respect on your relationship and respect for you as a person. 

This has happened to me a couple times. From my experience it doesn't get better and will never get better unless he wants to stop? do these texts/FB messages tell you he wants to stop? I dont think so. Infact I can bet you he wants to do it more and would if he got the chance.

The only way I think you may have hope is to make him realize what he is missing. move in with a friend or relative and see if he calls you give it a few days, but dont contact him thats his job. If he calls/apologizes you tell him the only way you will come back is if he gives you all his passwords,access to phone etc and possibly get therapy. if he agreed install a keylogger for 2 months.dont know how ask for my email and I will email you a link with instructions. just give it 2 months and moniter him. If he is making new accounts, deleting his history, or whatever he is doing you will know. if hes flirting and doing something he shouldnt even after you moved out and you warned him then you will know that you deserve better. sorry but i think that is your only hope it always got worse with me, my first choice would be to move on. If he feels the need to hurt you in the way then he really probably doesnt love you.


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## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

Ashley, you need to tell him he must stop or the marriage is over. I hate to put it to you so harshly but I was in your shoes 3 years ago. I confronted him over the same exact thing only my husband even hung out with this girl a few times (threw phone and toll records at him). He got defensive, upset with me for finding out and said he'd stop contact with her. I did not threaten to leave him and cried when he got upset b/c I was weak at the time. I even got phsyically sick over this but I believed him and thought he would never do that to me again. He did stop contact with that girl but he did not stop talking to girls behind my back. Here we are 3 years later, and I find out he's been doing it out in public in front of our friends and in our local hangouts. Feel free to read through my threads to find out what else I found and have been dealing with. I am at the end now. I confronted him once again and I'm ready to leave him and move on. Again he tells me he knows what he did was wrong but now wants to go to therapy to "find out why he talks to girls" - it's a mess that probably could have been prevented but I am have emotioanlly checked already, too much repeated disrespect... 

Also, you also need to figure out why he is doing this. I strongly suggest counselling. Dont make him get you to think it's nothing b/c he's only "talking" to them - it's a warning sign!!


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## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

heatherlindsay said:


> You told him to stop and he didn't.
> *What does that tell you about his respect on your relationship and respect for you as a person*.
> 
> *If he feels the need to hurt you in the way then he really probably doesnt love you.[/*QUOTE]
> ...


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