# Distance might kill it, what to do ? :(



## Problem (Apr 10, 2017)

Me and my girlfriend are having a long distance relationship, she is 25 and I am 19, that is not easy I admit it, but our love is strong and we really love eachother, fights happen, problems too but we always fix them or work on them till they are not a problem anymore but now something is changing, some days ago we had a huge fight since she wanted space and I at least wanted to know the reason wich she said she didn't know herself and was also pms'ing but I kept pushing on it and then that lead into fight and then a talk about it that we fixed. 

While on that she told me I was too clingy and that sometimes she feels suffocated/tired and that that's why she wanted space but she also has the habbit of hidding her emotions and problems sometimes so she does not bother me with them and so when she ask's space I think its that, I don't like that because I want to be always there for her and help when that's the case and so I made her promisse me that she will only ask me space when the reason is that she feels suffocated and I would do my best to not make her feel that way, we agreed and fixed the issue.

Now yesterday she told me she had bad news that her work time will change soon and she will have to work 12 hours, leading only to one hour maybe two in max. of us actually talking wich made me feel so depressed knowing she would not have much time for me making our long distance relationship worst, but I accepted it, I don't want to give up on us just because of that, she was depressed about it too I could tell and she was kinda giving up and saying that she did not know if we would overcome this and that we will probably split because of it in future wich it hurted me seing her giving up like that when she would always be hopefull in our future, sometimes more than me, and telling me that I would get over it after sometime if it happened wich I got pissed because I love her and she saying that hurted me and saying all she wanted was me being happy and that she was sorry for not being able to give me more time together and attention like we usualy do and that I deserved someone who would do that for me, I rejected and denied all that saying what asked what did she wanted and if she was sure about our relationship and she with tearing up said she wanted to be with me but she wanted me happy and knew we were gonna split because of this and I kept in saying that we would overcome this and this will make us stronger, I do am insecure but I know she wouldnt cheat on me, but to be honest ive been overthinking and what if she falls for some dude now that we wont have much time together, I mean like a co-worker, because they do try to seduce her but she shuts them down always but what if distance changes this  I don't want to give up of us but I really am scared of what this could bring. 
I would like to know what you guys think about this and should I do about it :frown2: please help.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

It sounds to me like your gf wants to break up with you but is afraid to do so. 

I was in a long distance relationship with my partner for close to 5 years. We spent every free minute either on Skype or messaging each other via whatsapp. Oftentimes, we even went to sleep/woke up together via skype. I can't imagine either one of us feeling a need for space, it was always the exact opposite. Overall, the long distance was difficult and I certainly wouldn't advise it to someone at your age. You really should be going out and having fun with friends rather than staying home/glued to your screen.


How long have the two of you been long distance? And how much longer do you plan to be?
What work does she do that now requires her to work 12 hours? 
How much cyber time were you guys spending together at the time when she said she wanted space?
Why does she think you are clingy? Do you think you can come across as clingy sometimes?


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Problem said:


> Now yesterday she told me she had bad news that her work time will change soon and she will have to work 12 hours, leading only to one hour maybe two in max. of us actually talking wich made me feel so depressed knowing she would not have much time for me making our long distance relationship worst, but I accepted it, I don't want to give up on us just because of that, she was depressed about it too I could tell and she was kinda giving up and saying that she did not know if we would overcome this and that we will probably split because of it in future wich it hurted me seing her giving up like that when she would always be hopefull in our future, sometimes more than me, and telling me that I would get over it after sometime if it happened wich I got pissed because I love her and she saying that hurted me and saying all she wanted was me being happy and that she was sorry for not being able to give me more time together and attention like we usualy do and that I deserved someone who would do that for me, I rejected and denied all that saying what asked what did she wanted and if she was sure about our relationship and she with tearing up said she wanted to be with me but she wanted me happy and knew we were gonna split because of this and I kept in saying that we would overcome this and this will make us stronger, *I do am insecure but I know she wouldnt cheat on me, but to be honest ive been overthinking and what if she falls for some dude now that we wont have much time together, I mean like a co-worker, because they do try to seduce her but she shuts them down always but what if distance changes this  I don't want to give up of us but I really am scared of what this could bring.*
> I would like to know what you guys think about this and should I do about it :frown2: please help.


The part that is underlined: I've done this with bfs on 2 occassions when I was in my teens. Once because I was feeling insecure and really wanted reassurance and he was usually not an emotionally responsive person so I felt I needed to scare him into displaying emotion. The second time because I wasn't really feeling things and was to chicken to say it outright. Either way, your gf comes across as a bit immature in her approach. She's 25 but acting like a teenager. 

The bolded part: you'll surely learn this as you get older but it would behoove you to avoid convincing yourself that your gf is incapable of cheating on you. This is as much a possibility whether she gives you all the time in the world or limits your time, as she is doing now.

Please also clarify, why do you guys now only have one or two hours of time together? What is the extent of your communication? Is it strictly skype? Do you not stay in contact throughout the day through chat?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Have you ever actually met? How long have you been in contact?


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## Problem (Apr 10, 2017)

We have been dating for 3 months and half now on long distance and we are planing to till we can sort things out and me moving out with her in future in her country wich being realistic might take some 2-3years to be honest, but we will visit eachother in space between, well she is a Pharmaceutical Quality Inspector and she can't deny the 12hour when it comes because its mandatory (they had a reunion for it and it says on her contract they can request it be that way for what she told me) also we spend Like 5 hours together on skype usualy (when she asked for space, wich only lasted like a day and its still current hours we usualy have), before that it was 8hours but we reduced it since she needed more sleep she was only having like 5-6hours of sleep and we raised it to 8, I know I do am clingy 2 of my 3 ex's said so too but my gf says she loves me being clingy, before she would spam msg me while i slept of missing me so much and is clingy too wich now not so much :/ but she said is because her work is making her more tired that theres still that 2% of her that wants her space and and made her suffocated, I never made her not go with her friends out, except once because I thinked she was going with a guy alone to cinema but then she told me it was a girl and she ended up canceling anyway, something changed and im not to sure if its her actually getting worn out of work or if shes losing interest in me


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Problem said:


> We have been dating for 3 months and half now on long distance and we are planing to till we can sort things out and me moving out with her in future in her country wich being realistic might take some 2-3years to be honest, but we will visit eachother in space between, well she is a Pharmaceutical Quality Inspector and she can't deny the 12hour when it comes because its mandatory (they had a reunion for it and it says on her contract they can request it be that way for what she told me) also we spend Like 5 hours together on skype usualy (when she asked for space, wich only lasted like a day and its still current hours we usualy have), before that it was 8hours but we reduced it since she needed more sleep she was only having like 5-6hours of sleep and we raised it to 8, I know I do am clingy 2 of my 3 ex's said so too but my gf says she loves me being clingy, before she would spam msg me while i slept of missing me so much and is clingy too wich now not so much :/ but she said is because her work is making her more tired that theres still that 2% of her that wants her space and and made her suffocated, I never made her not go with her friends out, except once because I thinked she was going with a guy alone to cinema but then she told me it was a girl and she ended up canceling anyway, something changed and im not to sure if its her actually getting worn out of work or if shes losing interest in me


Please address Diana's comment, have you ever met? How exactly did you meet?

If two of your exes said you are clingy, and now your current gf, then you should really think about that seriously. I've been with one man who was clingy. As a woman, it is a major turn off. As a man, this is something you must address seriously. A clingy man will be perceived as weak by a woman, no ifs or buts about it. Your gf may say she likes this now, that will not last very long. When a woman sees a man as weak, it introduces all sorts of problems in a relationship. She may begin to get very demanding, she may want things her way, she may start to lose sexual attraction to you, she may decide to cheat on you with a more "alpha" guy...

It will be easier if you try to work on your clinginess now as opposed to when you get older.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

3 months long distance is really not that long for a relationship. I'm not sure how many relationships you've been in OP but typically, couples are ecstatic about each other and their relationship at this stage. This 'honeymoon stage' usually lasts for the first year or two of the relationship. During that time, arguments are relatively few and far between, and this is the period when we brush aside the faults in each other. With my partner, it lasted for the first 3 years of our long distance relationship.

It is concerning that you two are having these issues when you've only been together for 3 months. If I were in your shoes, I would tell her exactly what she wanted to hear so I could get a better idea of her true feelings. I would agree with her when she started suggesting that things would not work out and you would break up. I would go even further and suggest we break up now to avoid wasting our time. 

If she agrees, then this tactic would have worked in your favor and you just avoided wasting your time on someone who does not want to be with you.

If she balks and goes 360 and refuses to break up, then this still worked in your favor because it's clear that she did not actually want to do this but really just wanted explicit reassurance from you that things will work out. When we feel insecure about our relationship, us women really need reassurance from the man. I always found it extremely corny when men would tell women that everything would be ok in the movies but I now find that it really comforting when my partner says this and means it.


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## Problem (Apr 10, 2017)

Keke24 said:


> Please address Diana's comment, have you ever met? How exactly did you meet?
> 
> If two of your exes said you are clingy, and now your current gf, then you should really think about that seriously. I've been with one man who was clingy. As a woman, it is a major turn off. As a man, this is something you must address seriously. A clingy man will be perceived as weak by a woman, no ifs or buts about it. Your gf may say she likes this now, that will not last very long. When a woman sees a man as weak, it introduces all sorts of problems in a relationship. She may begin to get very demanding, she may want things her way, she may start to lose sexual attraction to you, she may decide to cheat on you with a more "alpha" guy...
> 
> It will be easier if you try to work on your clinginess now as opposed to when you get older.


We met online at first and she once visted too, everything was going so good around a month ago, like I said some fights and problems usualy of jealousy of both sides and her insecurities about what if another girl tried to get with me wich we resolved always, I am aware I am clingy, she had said since she is clingy too for her this was good and that she loved it since she says it shows I care and makes be emotionally responsive and caring, I am working on being clingy and doing my best to improve on it, she knows my past pretty well and I know hers, she knows that my first gf actually cheated on me and I know that her ex treated her like she was just there for the sex and only cared for his videogames and would ignore her feelings and basicly dont give a f* about her , I dont know what to do now I am not giving up on us but she seemed off, she blaimed the pms but I really dont bite that, I dont think pms could make her so negative at this point of actually saying this will make us fall apart and that I deserve to be happy bs, wich I had to show her It won't and I am happy with her, but still I think she didnt quite got conviced, I just dont know what to do


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## Problem (Apr 10, 2017)

Keke24 said:


> 3 months long distance is really not that long for a relationship. I'm not sure how many relationships you've been in OP but typically, couples are ecstatic about each other and their relationship at this stage. This 'honeymoon stage' usually lasts for the first year or two of the relationship. During that time, arguments are relatively few and far between, and this is the period when we brush aside the faults in each other. With my partner, it lasted for the first 3 years of our long distance relationship.
> 
> It is concerning that you two are having these issues when you've only been together for 3 months. If I were in your shoes, I would tell her exactly what she wanted to hear so I could get a better idea of her true feelings. I would agree with her when she started suggesting that things would not work out and you would break up. I would go even further and suggest we break up now to avoid wasting our time.
> 
> ...


Thanks the advice Keke, to be honest I will do that in the next time she acts like this, I really love her and It will break my heart pretty badly if she does not feel the same anymore but I need to know, I need to know if she wants to be with me like I want to be with her  she says she does, but this that you said is a very nice tactic and I will surely use it next time she acts like this, I already showed her what my true feelings are, I never gave up and I never will even if its hard and we can barely talk for some time, now I need to know if she wants to do the same thing or not. Thanks.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Problem said:


> We met online at first and she once visted too, everything was going so good around a month ago, like I said some fights and problems usualy of jealousy of both sides and her insecurities about what if another girl tried to get with me wich we resolved always, I am aware I am clingy, she had said since she is clingy too for her this was good and that she loved it since she says it shows I care and makes be emotionally responsive and caring, I am working on being clingy and doing my best to improve on it, she knows my past pretty well and I know hers, she knows that my first gf actually cheated on me and I know that her ex treated her like she was just there for the sex and only cared for his videogames and would ignore her feelings and basicly dont give a f* about her , I dont know what to do now I am not giving up on us but she seemed off, she blaimed the pms but I really dont bite that, I dont think pms could make her so negative at this point of actually saying this will make us fall apart and that I deserve to be happy bs, wich I had to show her It won't and I am happy with her, but still I think she didnt quite got conviced, I just dont know what to do


One more thing @Problem. Your gf may say the clinginess is ok but that still doesn't make it so. It is a really bad idea for someone to encourage unhealthy tendencies from another, just because they themselves exhibit these same tendencies. It's no different from a druggie encouraging their partner to do drugs so they can feel better about themselves and can avoid addressing their drug addiction.

The jealousy from both of you are red flags. The clinginess from both of you are red flags. You cannot have a healthy relationship with jealousy and clinginess. That clinginess will quickly evolve into codepency. Please google this and read up on it.

Here's a piece of advice I wish I received when I was 18 and not now at 27. Read the 5 Love Languages and His Needs Her Needs. It will give you a very clear idea of what a healthy relationship should look like. It will also give you really good insight into what women want/need in a relationship, ways to improve communication and establishing boundaries in your relationship. Please do yourself a favor and avoid unnecessary future headaches by reading these books.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

How long did she visit for? The thing is you say you have been dating for 3 months when you haven't. You cant date if you arent together. 
My advise to a 19 year old young man such as yourself, is to try and meet a girl in you own country near to you so you can have a proper relationship. Go out with friends, take up interests and hobbies, sports, have fun. 
Things are so much harder when you barely meet and you just cant get to know someone properly when you are apart most of the time. You also say that it will be 2 or 3 years before you can move to her country, that's if you are even allowed to. 

Already there are issues, and from what you have said, it does sound as if she is wanting this to end but cant say it directly.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Ldr / another country / years away / 19 years old... And as others have said, red flags...

As many of us are older and more experienced... Take to heart what experience means... If a 9 year old had a view on sometime, you have more experience to know he is not correct.

At 19 you need to find women near you.
Reality is this. The chances of you two being together in 2 years is tiny... I'd say less than 1%.

Consider yourselves as friends and start dating locally. Unless you live in a village, there should be thousands of young women available for you to meet and date, which you are not doing because you are spending 3-5hrs a day Skype to another country.

Good luck.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Also, if she has not figured this out for herself already she will in the next 3 to 6 months. She is hitting her dating prime. Alone take a rhyme with experience to woo her. She may dump you first or not. Either of you can date others without the other knowing.

Even when I was in my late 30s I was dating women 21-35 years old. Met my wife when she was 25 and I was 40.

You have competition and many challenges due to distance. Should support each other on meeting new people locally.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I cannot help but think that she is covertly sending out signals that perhaps a long distance relationship is just not in the stars for her, but won't come right out and say it!

If there is any chance at a serious revival of this R, might I suggest a "Come to Jesus" Meeting in a neutral venue where you can ask the hard and pressing questions face to face. And trust me, while the mouth does often lie, body language absolutely does not!

My advise is that even though you're a robust 19, there are a plethora of beautiful girls right there in your own locale who would absolutely give their right arm to be wooed by a guy of your magnitude!

B][If it doesn't ultimately work out with your LD GF, please give serious credence to that sage advise!*


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## ladyskraps (Apr 10, 2017)

I've been in a long-distance relationship for almost 5 years. We got married a year ago. My experience in a long distance relationship is, when one person in the relationship needs space, one of several things, or a combination of said things is going on :

1) The person needing space has met or hopes to meet someone else. 
2) The two of you are running out of things to talk about, and one is getting bored with the awkward silences. 
3) Said person is growing tired of the lack of physical contact. A huge part of a relationship is just being close to one another. Cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, even just doing normal things together like cooking together, or going for a walk. A woman needs to feel loved and appreciated in her physical life. 
4) She really just needs some space to figure things out and think clearly about whether this relationship is right for her. 

You're so young. Most people in their 30s and older will tell you that 19 is too young to find love. Who you are at 19 is often nothing like who you will be at 30. Wants, needs and life goals change. I settled down with someone with similar interests when I was 21. By 26, I had nothing in common with this individual. By then, we had 4 kids who suffered greatly because of our split.

Although I would hope that you would delay settling down with someone until you are ready, I also know that at your age, most of us were stubborn and chose to do what we wanted to anyway defying all advice. So, advice-wise.... Give her a couple of weeks of silence. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Don't call, text or contact her in any way for two weeks. Do not respond to her either. After the two weeks are up, if you still feel the same way about her, send her flowers or some other gift that you know she'll appreciate. Let her know you are still thinking of her and still care for her. If she doesn't respond, you'll have to move on. In the meantime, reconnect with friends and family, go out and have some fun. Keep yourself busy, even if you don't feel like it. Fake it til you make it. If you do reconnect, you'll have more of a social life and won't come off as clingy. If you don't reconnect, at least you'll have plenty to keep you busy! Also, if the two of you decide to keep working at the relationship, make an effort to be present in her physical life. Send her things like flowers, love letters, or one of your tshirts. Holding things that your loved one has touched helps people feel closer.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

So you've known this person for 3 whole months, you've met ONCE, she's 6 years OLDER than you, but you're 'in love?'

People don't fall in love in only 3 short months. Having had little experience (other than a couple of teenage romances) at only 19, you're still learning all about life and you haven't even entered adulthood yet.

You sound like a sweet young man, but that's the problem - you're a YOUNG man. Still a teenage boy, really. Right now, your FIRST concern should be college or learning a trade, not putting all your energies into wasting 6 hours a day on Skype with some woman who lives in another country and who you barely know. Because contrary to popular belief, you *can't* live on love (or infatuation).

From what you've said, being needy and clingy seems to be something you do with no matter who you're with. That's a relationship killer and this online thing already has 2 strikes against it.

Find a nice girl your own age in a radius of 20 miles from your house. This thing is going nowhere.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Your 19....

My husband was 19-20, his birthday was days before the wedding. 
He was head over heels in love and happy with me. 

7 years later, he cheated. Three kids, a house a perfect life, and he cheated. Why?

He was a baby when he committed. Love (limerance, infatuation) these feelings are fleeting at the age you are. Your love is not strong...you just think it is. 3 months does not a deep love make. 

I would say YOU should show your strength here and realize that at 19 you are likely clingy and have this idealized idea of your future and love. You grow up a lot in your 20s. I just turned 30 two weeks ago. I know from recent experience. 

MY ADVICE? she is not your soul mate. you are not star crossed, and this is not forever. Please, please, go out tonight and open your eyes. You are not in a relationship. Relationships have more to them. Shared space, shared time, shared experiences. You are in a fantasy....BOTH OF YOU ARE. 

Long distance relationships DO WORK, but they dont USUALLY start long distance. 

You got a lot of growing up to do and fun to be had. Quit trying to make this work with her. She is 25, and you are 19....I know it does not seem like such a great age difference but thats relative. You dont have your career, she does. You just got out of high school likely last year? You are not in the same zip code metaphorically speaking.


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## Problem (Apr 10, 2017)

Thanks everyone for the advices and I will be reading those books as well Keke. 

I'm not giving up (straight asking breakup) just yet, I will keep being myself and seing if she stops being distante but I will not anymore be the one holding this floating  when she acts like that or a coversation pops up about it and she starts talking that she thinks we will split up I will do that tactic. Today we spoke and she got more cheerfull, we talked about stuff we will do when me or her vist, like camping and such, I will also do the silence advice for like a week or so if she starts acting distant and cold to my messages or skype talking again and hope for the best.

I really apreciate the advices you guys gave me, Thank you everyone.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Problem said:


> Thanks everyone for the advices and I will be reading those books as well Keke.
> 
> I'm not giving up (straight asking breakup) just yet, I will keep being myself and seing if she stops being distante but I will not anymore be the one holding this floating  when she acts like that or a coversation pops up about it and she starts talking that she thinks we will split up I will do that tactic. Today we spoke and she got more cheerfull, we talked about stuff we will do when me or her vist, like camping and such, I will also do the silence advice for like a week or so if she starts acting distant and cold to my messages or skype talking again and hope for the best.
> 
> I really apreciate the advices you guys gave me, Thank you everyone.


No, dont play games.... MY ADVICE. dont do the silent thing to gain a reaction. Be silent if YOU NEED silence. Not for her. FOR YOU.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> So you've known this person for 3 whole months, you've met ONCE, she's 6 years OLDER than you, but you're 'in love?'
> 
> People don't fall in love in only 3 short months. Having had little experience (other than a couple of teenage romances) at only 19, you're still learning all about life and you haven't even entered adulthood yet.


I support much of what you said here. *NOBODY* should think they are deeply in love until they are over the age of 24. Meeting and dating different people will help teach you what you like and don't like.

But people can and *DO* fall in love quickly all the time. It's a matter of the infatuation phase being recognized and/or being in love after six months of a physical relationship.
I've dated/had sex with many over the years, only a few that made me go "oh yeah". When I met my future wife, I wasn't really looking for a girlfriend. We talked, danced and I felt very comfortable with her. I had the strong urge to kiss her and went for it. Made love that night and started dating that week. On our 2nd week, we talked about being infatuated with each other... but it sounded awkward, agreed we can use the word "love" but would be casual. Meanwhile - I was talking about her with my friends and as it turned out - she was doing the same with her's. We were engaged a few weeks from meeting that first night, married a few months later. That was 6 years ago. No other woman before her mattered as much as she did to me. We are sexually compatible, we parent as a team. Of all things considered, we are still a very stable and compatible couple with little arguments.



> You sound like a sweet young man, but that's the problem - you're a YOUNG man. Still a teenage boy, really. Right now, your FIRST concern should be college or learning a trade, not putting all your energies into wasting 6 hours a day on Skype with some woman who lives in another country and who you barely know. Because contrary to popular belief, you *can't* live on love (or infatuation).
> 
> From what you've said, being needy and clingy seems to be something you do with no matter who you're with. That's a relationship killer and this online thing already has 2 strikes against it.
> 
> Find a nice girl your own age in a radius of 20 miles from your house. This thing is going nowhere.


Agreed. LDR that work is when they didn't start out that way and its a temp thing - like husband is working off shore or deployed. or a young couple in which one has been hired in another city and the other is finishing up college or a project before moving.

But years of not meeting... type thing. nope. It's not realistic.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

A few things

1. You are far too young to commit to a LDR
2. She is too old for you
3. LDR rarely work imo


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## Problem (Apr 10, 2017)

She has been acting weird lately, sometimes shes happy for see me sometimes she just doesnt show she is wants to talk to me and acts distant like today she was going home and im like "do you wanna skype love ^////^?" and she just responds "meh  jamming to music" that **#*ing hurted my feelings and i just replied "alrighty", im thinking of ignoring her msgs for some time maybe she will discover is she misses me or not... not to mention that she took so long to get home wich usualy she takes like 30-40minutes so im actually starting to think might be cheating..? she told me "oh A sale caught my eye and i took a sharp turn, Lmaoooo sorry,XDDD IM HOME NOW," ... who knows i dont even know anymore im actually starting to lose trust but ill just let this go where ever it goes, actually thinking in asking her if she cheating on me, dont want to hurt her but this keeps hurting me deeply if this goes bad im not having more LDR.. despite all this I still love her so much... I don't understand myself..


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Problem said:


> She has been acting weird lately, sometimes shes happy for see me sometimes she just doesnt show she is wants to talk to me and acts distant like today she was going home and im like "do you wanna skype love ^////^?" and she just responds "meh  jamming to music" that **#*ing hurted my feelings and i just replied "alrighty", im thinking of ignoring her msgs for some time maybe she will discover is she misses me or not... not to mention that she took so long to get home wich usualy she takes like 30-40minutes so im actually starting to think might be cheating..? she told me "oh A sale caught my eye and i took a sharp turn, Lmaoooo sorry,XDDD IM HOME NOW," ... who knows i dont even know anymore im actually starting to lose trust but ill just let this go where ever it goes, actually thinking in asking her if she cheating on me, dont want to hurt her but this keeps hurting me deeply if this goes bad im not having more LDR.. despite all this I still love her so much... I don't understand myself..


OP, do yourself a favor and break up with this woman. She is clearly not interested in a serious relationship with you. She knows exactly what she's doing, which is stringing you along. You know that sale stuff was bs. Yes it's very likely that she is indeed cheating. If you keep putting up with her behavior, there is only one outcome - she will lose respect for you. Women have a hard time respecting men who repeatedly accept their bull****. Stop accepting her bs. 

You've gotten such excellent advice on this thread. Use it!


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Quit playing games. Not talking to her till she realizes she misses you? News flash, she does not. If she is not eager to talk she is just not feeling it. And neither should you! you are wasting your time, energy, effort in a sunk ship. Its not even sinking, you are in salvage mode. Come on. Just end it. In about a mont, maybe 3 months you will be over it and into someone new.


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## _anonymous_ (Apr 18, 2016)

I concur with other posters. This situation has "I want to break up, but I don't want to hurt you" written all over it.

You two are in what you're hoping is a serious long-distance relationship that will continue long-term. Yet, 3 months in, your girlfriend says 1) she needs space, 2) she's coincidentally having a schedule change at work that will give you less time to talk, 3) is already suggesting the relationship will end. (?!)

In my opinion, it sounds like this relationship is already over in her mind. You should have an honest conversation with her about all of this to try to understand what she's really thinking.

Long-distance relationships can work, but they are tough. The lack of seeing each can easily lead to drifting, which in turn, can lead to cheating or a breakup. Best of luck!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I don't think that this will last sadly but i have to disagree with people here who say that you cant fall in love at 19. Also that you cant be in love so soon. 

I fell in love with my husband in less than a week and knew I wanted to marry him then. We were married in 9 months. Happily married now for over 11 years.
I have 2 friends who actually got married age 19, 40 years later they are still happy. It can happen although its usually the women who are slightly younger not the guy. When I was that age, it was pretty normal to marry late teens-early 20's. 

In your case though, a relationship where you can rarely even meet up isn't likely to last. 
My advise, get off that computer more and get out there and meet people where you live. Take up hobbies, study hard, do sports, join clubs, do voluntary work etc etc.


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