# The other woman is pregnant-and we are still not divorced.



## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

So this separation is going on 6 months now, my husband filed for divorce back in January. I have yet to see a dime of child support and come to find out that the woman that he is cheating with is pregnant. Me nor the kids have any of our stuff from our house, they are begging for their stuff back. My oldest doesnt even want to see her dad ever again and she is being forced to see him tomorrow. How can I move this divorce along and get it over with? Any ideas? My lawyer has contacted his so many times she now refuses to attempt to contact him. What if any recourse do I have?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Get a different lawyer.


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## foolscotton3 (Nov 13, 2014)

Fire your lawyer, start filing motions on your own

Or you could start contacting his lawyer, and re activate your lawyer for filing paperwork and procedural stuff.

That way your not paying your lawyer for failed corresponding and he is paying his lawyer to deal with you directly. Even if it doesn't move along any quicker, he is going to run out of money.

Sent from my Z936L using Tapatalk


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

I really can't fire my lawyer because I got her through Legal Aid due to me not having any money, so I do not pay her anything.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

The person who is the plaintiff/petitioner in an uncontested divorce is generally the one who controls the process. So he's basically in control since he filed. The divorce can be dismissed after a certain period of inaction and then you could file as plaintiff/petitioner instead of him. Ask your attorney about the time required for a case to be dismissed. Find out if you have any other options (state laws regarding divorce vary so there may be some remedy in your state that wouldn't apply in my state).


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

Okay, finally got a court date, got a court order to get our stuff, went there and it looks like he has this other woman living in our marital home with him. Is this legal and if not, what can I do about it or is it worth my time to do anything about it?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Ask your attorney about it. I don't think there is anything to be done, unfortunately. Wow, your STBX is a real scumbag. I hope you got everything you all needed out of there so you don't have to go back and be subjected to them. Make sure you get your share of the home whether you guys sell it or not.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

anony2 said:


> Okay, finally got a court date, got a court order to get our stuff, went there and it looks like he has this other woman living in our marital home with him. Is this legal and if not, what can I do about it or is it worth my time to do anything about it?


In most places, he can have anyone he wants living in the house with him.

Why did you and the children leave the house?

Do you have a child support order yet? When does he start to pay?

Force the sale of the house. That will get him and in gf out of your home.

Also, does he have money and/or assets that could cover your legal expenses? If so, interview some attorneys and find one that will petition the court to have your attorney fees be covered by martial income and assets. You will probably get a better outcome if you have a non-legal aid attorney. There are plenty of attorneys who will give a free half hour or so appointment.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Also, I don't really think that in an 'uncontested' divorce that the one filing controls the divorce process.

This is not totally uncontested in that anony2 is clearly going to have to petition the court to get things like child support in place and to get her share of assets. If she lets your husband control the divorce, it's pretty clear she's not getting anything.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

I'm not sure where you live, but you should file counter suit to his petition, it keeps him from dropping it if he see things are not going to go his way. 

Also file for a temporary order of support, to include recovering the assets he is preventing you from retrieving from the marital home. You will need to provide a detailed written inventory, and any proof you have the items actually exist (photos, receipts, affidavits from sworn witnesses). You can get these items and child support / alimony going on a temporary basis long before the divorce is final. 

In the final divorce settlement, be sure support is court ordered. This will allow you to pursue wage garnishments. If it's not court ordered and he doesn't pay, you'll need to sue him in court to get a judgment that you can then pursue collecting. That's a long, expensive process compared to getting child support garnishments. 

Do your homework on that laws in your area, there are good resources on line. In the end, you won't get what you want, but you can get what you are legally entitled to. So, be sure you know your rights. Legal aid lawyers want to move the workload through the court system, they may not have your best interests first.


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

Elegirl, we left the house due to domestic violence. I have a protective order for me and my children. He has not paid any child support since we left in January. We go back to court soon to get this set up. My lawyer petitioned the court for this hearing.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

anony2 said:


> Elegirl, we left the house due to domestic violence. I have a protective order for me and my children. He has not paid any child support since we left in January. We go back to court soon to get this set up. My lawyer petitioned the court for this hearing.


Seems that you and the children should have gotten possession of the house and he put out.


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Seems that you and the children should have gotten possession of the house and he put out.


That is probably what would have happened, if I had pushed it, but we went to a domestic violence shelter and they have helped the kids and I get set up in our own place and honestly, it has done me worlds of good because now I know the whole definition of domestic violence and not just the one I grew up knowing. If you look back in some of my older posts you will see all the things that I endured during our marriage and might even remember when my husband and I were active on the forum. This forum is the gentle reminder of what I really need to remember instead of the good times that were had. 

They taught and helped us beyond belief at the shelter, we are all in counseling, I was given furniture by the nuns at the college that I went to, and some by the excellent staff member that worked there. I guess my next step is moving on from this. I am ready, I would rather the divorce be over and done with. I feel extremely blessed to have what I have and to have the kids with me. :smile2:


Elegirl, I just checked my first post on here, and you were the first one to respond. )


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

anony2 said:


> That is probably what would have happened, if I had pushed it, but we went to a domestic violence shelter and they have helped the kids and I get set up in our own place and honestly, it has done me worlds of good because now I know the whole definition of domestic violence and not just the one I grew up knowing. If you look back in some of my older posts you will see all the things that I endured during our marriage and might even remember when my husband and I were active on the forum. This forum is the gentle reminder of what I really need to remember instead of the good times that were had.
> 
> They taught and helped us beyond belief at the shelter, we are all in counseling, I was given furniture by the nuns at the college that I went to, and some by the excellent staff member that worked there. I guess my next step is moving on from this. I am ready, I would rather the divorce be over and done with. I feel extremely blessed to have what I have and to have the kids with me. :smile2:
> 
> ...


Wow, it has been a long time!

Well that does make sense. It's good that you have done all of that and have grown in so many ways, for yourself and for your children.

Is there much equity in the house? Are you on the loan? It makes sense then for you to push for selling the house. That way you get your part of the equity.


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

The house is paid off, I don't know what the appraisal would be. We bought it while married so in our state it would be marital property. 

Thank you for all of your help, if I had just listened to everyone's advice on here and in person (from counselors) I would have been so much better off or at least not spent so much time in the marriage that was going no where. I just kept trying to beat that dead horse. Hindsight 20/20...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

anony2 said:


> The house is paid off, I don't know what the appraisal would be. We bought it while married so in our state it would be marital property.
> 
> Thank you for all of your help, if I had just listened to everyone's advice on here and in person (from counselors) I would have been so much better off or at least not spent so much time in the marriage that was going no where. I just kept trying to beat that dead horse. Hindsight 20/20...


Good about the house. You have some equity coming to you. A good lawyer would probably be willing to take your case since there is money to pay him/her.

If you can interview several lawyers and find a good one, they will take your legal fees out of the marital assets. And they will fight for you to get your child support, in arrear too.

When I got my divorce, the child support was established with the very first filing. My lawyer simply used the state's child support guidelines and wrote up what it should be. She was right on the money and when my ex tried to contest it the judge shut him down.. cause my attorney was good and fair. Your legal aid attorney is not a good attorney. There is zero need for you to wait months for a court hearing to get child support. If you got a good attorney you could have a child support order in no time flat and get all of the arrears as well. Plus spousal support if you are entitled to it and a good hunk of all assets.

Please go get a good attorney. Have them do the child support, spousal support and have them get a realtor to force the sale of the house. I think that you are being way too passive.

Look on Zillow.com for houses around yours and see what they are selling for to get an idea of what it's current value is. As an example. Zillow has my house at $214K. But I know that it would sell for about $250 based on other things in the area. So Zillow is not exact but it can get you started.

Don't be too hard on yourself for taking too long to leave. Most people do that. It's very hard to leave a marriage.


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