# Is being tired an excuse for not wanting to have sex?



## newwife1 (Jul 20, 2018)

I find it difficult being the wife whose husband doesn’t want to have sex with me often, 1 or 2 times a week at best. He is always saying his tired. So I’m asking the men, is something else going on or is he really just tired?


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## Steelman (Mar 5, 2018)

newwife1 said:


> I find it difficult being the wife whose husband doesn’t want to have sex with me often, 1 or 2 times a week at best. He is always saying his tired. So I’m asking the men, is something else going on or is he really just tired?


Something else is going on- probably, he's just not that into it. He doesn't have much of a drive for whatever reason. I'd have sex every day if my wife asked, no matter how tired I am.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

I am never too tired for sex BUT I have a high drive. How old is he and what kind of shape is he in?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Never plan for sex too late in the evening and depending on age / health, being tired shouldn't be a problem. There's always Sat/Sun morning marathon sex.

I have various blues playlist that just call out loud for great sex 😎


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

For years I have told Mrs Nail that if she comes home late, PLEASE wake me up for sex. Never happened. Being too tired is the number one excuse here. I will tell you this, when a person is low drive it's not just having sex, it's getting warmed up, it's getting undressed and dressed again, it's remembering what you didn't put away, it's checking on the kids. But mostly it is I'm not ready for that, and it would take a lot of effort. That's my take from a long time at your point of view.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

newwife1 said:


> I find it difficult being the wife whose husband doesn’t want to have sex with me often, 1 or 2 times a week at best. He is always saying his tired. So I’m asking the men, is something else going on or is he really just tired?


Hey may just be tired. Is his job stressful? A lot of worry with bills and such that can get exhausting? These are two factors that make me tired(not in the mood). But that was years ago. I figured out I can not control a lot of things in life. I learned to let it go. I take care of my W business whenever she desires. She will wake me up sometimes to have a roll. I roll.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Mr. Nail said:


> For years I have told Mrs Nail that if she comes home late, PLEASE wake me up for sex. Never happened. Being too tired is the number one excuse here. I will tell you this, when a person is low drive it's not just having sex, it's getting warmed up, it's getting undressed and dressed again, it's remembering what you didn't put away, it's checking on the kids. But mostly it is I'm not ready for that, and it would take a lot of effort. That's my take from a long time at your point of view.


Yep, this is my wife. She's the master of scheduling a sitter, then as we get in the car to go out she makes sure to say how tired she is - it's her way of making sure sex is off the table. Requires too much of an effort (she has said many times that sleep is much more important than sex).


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

newwife1 said:


> I find it difficult being the wife whose husband doesn’t want to have sex with me often, 1 or 2 times a week at best. He is always saying his tired. So I’m asking the men, is something else going on or is he really just tired?


All him at 10am and you'll have your answer.

I never thought I would trade a good night's sleep for sex. Then I got older. Plus I realized the sex I could get wasn't often worth the lost sleep.


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## Stormguy2018 (Jul 11, 2018)

Based on your other thread, no, he's making excuses. Something's going on.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

newwife1 said:


> I find it difficult being the wife whose husband doesn’t want to have sex with me often, 1 or 2 times a week at best. He is always saying his tired. So I’m asking the men, is something else going on or is he really just tired?


It can be, but there's a trick. Start rubbing his junk and watch the tiredness suddenly fade...


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

But more seriously, yes occasionally I can be too tired, but a rain check is always offered and delivered upon. Also try at a different time of the day. We'll sometimes set the alarm clock 15 or 20 minutes earlier than usual.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I know that my wife uses the word "tired" to describe how she feels when she *should* want sex but doesn't. It took a wile to figure it out, since she would be too "tired" for sex, but not to "tired" to say hike in the mountains, or go river kayaking, or out to late night jazz clubs.

In her case she finds herself in a situation where she feels any reasonable woman would want sex - but she doesn't. The prospect of sex just doesn't seem at all appealing. So she tries to come up with a word to describe that. Simply saying "I don't feel like it" probably seems ruder to her. 

There are many LD (low desire) men out there, its just not talked about as much as are LD women. 

I'm sorry you are stuck in a mismatched relationship. Its very unlikely to ever get better.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Maybe he is tired. Maybe he has a tiring job and a long commute. Twice a week is pretty average for many couples.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

Not sure if it would help, but if you are in the mood more than he is, and he is tired, would you be willing to give him a massage every now and again and maybe see if it leads anywhere? 

Being massaged by your partner after a long day when you really don't feel like sex can surprisingly get you in the mood. It also alleviates stress which could also be contributing to the tiredness.

Again, I'm not saying you need to become his personal massuse, but a little TLC can go a long way.


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