# Any homebody women left in the world?



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I visit a few dating sites from time to time for fun, and what gets my attention most is how adventurous and active all the women portray themselves in their profiles. I am 48, and all the women in my age range speak of kayaking, traveling, planning their next vacation, mountain climbing, hiking, the beach. They post a lot of pictures on vacation as if that is going to lure in the guys. I was married for a long time and wasn't aware that my generation was so active and adventurous. 

My idea of a weekend after a week of work is unwinding at home. Dining out or a movie is nice from time to time, but I don't have to have every second away from work filled with an adventure. 

I'm not saying I never want to leave the four walls of my house, but it seems that all these activities are the norm these days, whereas with me, it would be an exception. 

I'm not posting to start a debate of which lifestyle is best, but just wondering if this truly is the norm these days, or are people on dating sites just trying to seem exciting? Perhaps women feel if they write that they like Netflix and the sofa on weekends, it's going to be a turn off to men; I don't know. 

Does anyone here consider themselves a homebody or do you know any women that are?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

southbound said:


> I visit a few dating sites from time to time for fun, and what gets my attention most is how adventurous and active all the women portray themselves in their profiles. I am 48, and all the women in my age range speak of kayaking, traveling, planning their next vacation, mountain climbing, hiking, the beach. They post a lot of pictures on vacation as if that is going to lure in the guys. I was married for a long time and wasn't aware that my generation was so active and adventurous.
> 
> My idea of a weekend after a week of work is unwinding at home. Dining out or a movie is nice from time to time, but I don't have to have every second away from work filled with an adventure.
> 
> ...


The bolded sounds accurate.

Dug and I are homebodies. We like to be together and with our kids. 

Dug and ds14 are out on a bike ride this morning. The other kids and I are sitting around Dug's apartment talking, laughing, singing songs, and looking up interesting things, like where to go for dinner tonight, on ds17's phone.

This afternoon we are all taking ds8 and ds11 to a local pumpkin farm. Tonight we are all going to play a game I bought on sale at Target this week. To me, it is a perfect Saturday.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Interesting question. My profile talked about travel and adventure. For me this is because I had financial constraints when I was younger that I don't have now. So I'm freeer now than ever before in my life. I travel at least 3 times a year.

I want a partner who is also free enough and financially fit enough to travel with me.

But I am still a homebody 90% of the time. I work full time and most nights I go straight home, put on my pjs and laze around the house. Eventually I muster the energy to get on the treadmill and eat something. Play on the computer or have a conversation with a friend or sister. Then nighty night.

A few times a month I go out dancing or to a party.

I have a boyfriend now and most of our together time is spent doing a similar version of my typical nights after work. We still go on dates but it is not the majority of our time together.

We are making our travel plans together right now, and I have separate travel plans as well.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> Interesting question. My profile talked about travel and adventure. For me this is because I had financial constraints when I was younger that I don't have now. So I'm freeer now than ever before in my life. I travel at least 3 times a year.
> 
> I want a partner who is also free enough and financially fit enough to travel with me.
> 
> ...



So, do you feel that on profiles women are trying to spotlight the adventure side of their personality assuming it would be appealing, but they could still be be a calmer nature 90% of the time in everyday life? Do you think that women are honest and not trying to exaggerate their lifestyle, but just feel it is more exciting to show this side of their personality? That could be possible.

I often interpret that this adventurous lifestyle is what they are all about. I have attended a lot of concerts in the last 30 years, for example, and I enjoy it, but I don't even mention that in my profile because that's not what defines me or a "must" for a relationship.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I just think at our age people have more money and time and freedom. Younger people are more into their careers and amassing wealth. And they have young children or are trying to have some. So the profiles of younger people talk more about their hobbies and kids.

Have you ever checked out some men's profiles? In our age group, men also talk about travel and adventure. They also frequently talk about wanting to be romantic and sexual.

I don't think people are trying to seem more exciting. They are just talking about what they enjoy so they can find someone who enjoys the same things.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> I just think at our age people have more money and time and freedom. Younger people are more into their careers and amassing wealth. And they have young children or are trying to have some. So the profiles of younger people talk more about their hobbies and kids.
> 
> Have you ever checked out some men's profiles? In our age group, men also talk about travel and adventure. They also frequently talk about wanting to be romantic and sexual.
> 
> I don't think people are trying to seem more exciting. They are just talking about what they enjoy so they can find someone who enjoys the same things.


I guess that answers my question; people talk about what they enjoy, which is usually travel and adventure, so I guess it is real. Personally, I don't care for it on any regular basis.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

There are a large number of people who are that active. My wife and I are in our mid to upper 50s and backpack, kayak and do other adventures. A large number of our friends do similar things. I have also climbed with a few people who were dating and in their upper 40s who did other things like skydiving and the like. 

I've noticed two types of people, those who want to live and experience life and those who watch life go by as they live it. I have friends of the later type also and they rarely mix with adventurous types and tend to marry like minded souls. Of the people I know I would say its 60/40 adventure/homebody.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

meson said:


> There are a large number of people who are that active. My wife and I are in our mid to upper 50s and backpack, kayak and do other adventures. A large number of our friends do similar things. I have also climbed with a few people who were dating and in their upper 40s who did other things like skydiving and the like.
> 
> I've noticed two types of people, those who want to live and experience life and those who watch life go by as they live it. I have friends of the later type also and they rarely mix with adventurous types and tend to marry like minded souls. Of the people I know I would say its 60/40 adventure/homebody.


I think one thing that is misunderstood about the latter is that they can be just as happy as the people who are mountain climbing all the time. There is no carved in stone definition as to what "living life" is; it's up to what the individual enjoys. There are various personalities; A's, B's, introverts, extroverts, etc. Personally, if I had to trade lives with the "adventure" crowd, I'd be miserable because I have no desire for all that stuff. Staying at home more is "life" just the same as skydiving.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

southbound said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > I just think at our age people have more money and time and freedom. Younger people are more into their careers and amassing wealth. And they have young children or are trying to have some. So the profiles of younger people talk more about their hobbies and kids.
> ...


I think there will be plenty of people who prefer a simpler homebody life. It is just more prevalent for people in our age group to now have the means and the time to travel. But there are still women who are more homebody than traveler, like you are. 

Compatibility is definitely important in this area of life.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

southbound said:


> I think one thing that is misunderstood about the latter is that they can be just as happy as the people who are mountain climbing all the time. There is no carved in stone definition as to what "living life" is; it's up to what the individual enjoys. There are various personalities; A's, B's, introverts, extroverts, etc. Personally, if I had to trade lives with the "adventure" crowd, I'd be miserable because I have no desire for all that stuff. Staying at home more is "life" just the same as skydiving.


Very true. I am one of those oddballs that bridges both types. I hang with a set of gamers and often spend the evening at someone's house rolling dice. We are all happy to do that. But I like adventure as well as I do like to spend a day doing reading or something at home.

I am just vouching that there are quite a few that really do that stuff a lot and at the same time there are homebodies.


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## Sinner (Oct 23, 2016)

You might take into consideration also... people who might have been homebodies for a long time in their marriage - once they are divorced and starting a new life they might decide to take up hobbies and activities they never have before... not only for the experience but also to meet new people. Also, a lot of people have more financial freedom and opportunity once the kids are grown.

I'm like you, I enjoy things like concerts every now and then, but for the most part prefer to stay at home. I've never been the adventurous type - I like staying on the ground just fine. And while traveling would be fun, I've never had the means.

I do think there is an element of untruth in dating profiles... everyone wants to seem more interesting than they really are... kinda like fluffing up your resume.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Interesting observation. Online dating is always sort of a person as they are/want to be, but always exaggerated to some extent. I'm somewhat active - I like hiking and running and swimming and skiing. It's important to me that the person I'm with also genuinely LIKES staying active. So in my online dating profile, I put a photo of me running and talk a bit about staying healthy in the profile itself. That said, I'm NOT the sky-diving type and am careful not frame myself as adventurous in hobbies because I'd much rather enjoy a glass of wine and a good chat after a day of activity, or some takeout with Sherlock. If I put "adventurous," I'd end up with adrenaline junkie types who would want to sky dive or do MMA lessons or something, and we wouldn't mesh well. Noticed as a bizarre coincidence maybe that the guys in my age group who are as active as I am are generally looking for gym bunny types with yoga instructor type bodies. It's not ideal for me, but it is what it is. 

When you're single there are bound to be times when you feel isolated or "am-I-the-only-one-who-likes-this-stuff." But there's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say  Hang in there. You'll find a homebody. Are you honest in your profile about what you like to do?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

southbound said:


> I visit a few dating sites from time to time for fun, and what gets my attention most is how adventurous and active all the women portray themselves in their profiles. I am 48, and all the women in my age range speak of kayaking, traveling, planning their next vacation, mountain climbing, hiking, the beach. They post a lot of pictures on vacation as if that is going to lure in the guys. I was married for a long time and wasn't aware that my generation was so active and adventurous.
> 
> My idea of a weekend after a week of work is unwinding at home. Dining out or a movie is nice from time to time, but I don't have to have every second away from work filled with an adventure.
> 
> ...


My wife. She would, I think.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

joannacroc said:


> When you're single there are bound to be times when you feel isolated or "am-I-the-only-one-who-likes-this-stuff." But there's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say  Hang in there. You'll find a homebody. Are you honest in your profile about what you like to do?


I am very honest in my profile. I try to get the point across that I'm not adventurous and am laid back. This is my opening paragraph:

"I'm laid back and like the simpler things in life, and I like being very honest about who I am; in no way will I exaggerate my lifestyle to sound more exciting than I really am. I don't have any exciting hobbies like skydiving or vacationing in exotic places. I like music, singing, movies, and spending time with my son and daughter. I'm not "on the go" all the time, I don't lead a stressful life."

I also included this:

I like this meme:
1. Going to bed early
2. Not leaving my house
3. Not going to a party
My childhood punishments have become my adult goals 

Some might think that is putting it a little heavy on the laid back side, but i figure, why not be totally honest?


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

southbound said:


> I am very honest in my profile. I try to get the point across that I'm not adventurous and am laid back. This is my opening paragraph:
> 
> "I'm laid back and like the simpler things in life, and I like being very honest about who I am; in no way will I exaggerate my lifestyle to sound more exciting than I really am. *I don't have any exciting hobbies like skydiving or vacationing in exotic places*. I like music, singing, movies, and spending time with my son and daughter. I'm not "on the go" all the time, I don't lead a stressful life."
> 
> ...


That sounds honest. I would say the only thing that stood out in a negative way is that if even you don't find your hobbies "exciting," you don't sound like you have much passion. Whether you're super-into Tarentino movies or LOVE punk music, it's always a good insight into someone's personality if they are able to convey their passion for their interests. There's nothing wrong with being a homebody. You could use more positive statements maybe, saying "I like X" instead of "I don't like Y" - does that make sense? The way people use language in profiles is very interesting to me because they inadvertently reveal quite a bit.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

joannacroc said:


> That sounds honest. I would say the only thing that stood out in a negative way is that if even you don't find your hobbies "exciting," you don't sound like you have much passion. Whether you're super-into Tarentino movies or LOVE punk music, it's always a good insight into someone's personality if they are able to convey their passion for their interests. There's nothing wrong with being a homebody. You could use more positive statements maybe, saying "I like X" instead of "I don't like Y" - does that make sense? The way people use language in profiles is very interesting to me because they inadvertently reveal quite a bit.


Yes, that makes sense. I suppose I only put that because so many list adventure in their profiles, so my intent was to let them know up front that I didn't fit that mold; otherwise, I probably wouldn't have made a statement like that. Do you think removing that statement would work better? 

I will have to admit that being "passionate" about something is another new one to me. About the only thing I ever used that word to describe was making love, but when i came to TAM several years ago, I started reading about people being "passionate" about something as an attractive quality; I had never thought of that for myself, or as an attractive quality in a woman. 

I guess I just like people who are happy with life; I wouldn't want someone who frowned all the time and acted like life wasn't worth living, but I don't think I was ever more attracted to a woman simply because she was "passionate" about a hobby or something. 

I'm not saying this in a negative way toward you at all; I appreciate the comments, but just saying that I don't fully get the passion thing. It wasn't something i heard as a child or as a young adulthood.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

The point in life is to gain experiences, not to stay home . I like to curl up with cat and read TAM or play Angry Birds but I also like to travel or explore. I like to read, learn new things.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

john117 said:


> The point in life is to gain experiences, not to stay home . I like to curl up with cat and read TAM or play Angry Birds but I also like to travel or explore. I like to read, learn new things.


Oh, well, I guess that clears that up; the point in life is no longer a mystery to me. I guess I had better buy me a camper and hit the road.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I consider myself a homebody, I like to have one weekend day where i relax and stay home doing home things. I do like to do something on the other day.

We rent a cabin sometimes and take a yearly vacation, but for the most part I have to have one day of calmness on the weekend.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

I've never been on a dating site, so I haven't seen any profiles. But, I would call myself a homebody. There is nothing wrong with that.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

prunus said:


> I've never been on a dating site, so I haven't seen any profiles. But, I would call myself a homebody. There is nothing wrong with that.


I agree that there is nothing wrong with it, I just don't seem to meet many.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

southbound said:


> I agree that there is nothing wrong with it, I just don't seem to meet many.


Well you just "met" another. I would rather stay home and watch Netflix or cook something than go clubbing. I do love road trips, though.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

meson said:


> I've noticed two types of people, those who want to live and experience life and those who watch life go by as they live it. I have friends of the later type also and they rarely mix with adventurous types and tend to marry like minded souls. Of the people I know I would say its 60/40 adventure/homebody.


LOL. So those who don't find it fun to kayak or climb a mountain and instead prefer to tinker around the house or read a good book are the type who just 'watch life go by?' Quite honestly, I can't imagine anything more boring then spending a few hours in a kayak on some river - and yet, I can *still* sleep pretty soundly knowing that my life is passing me right on by. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

OP, for what it's worth, I think a lot of people on dating sites embellish their profiles to appear more fun loving and adventurous than they really are so they can attract others. I met one guy off a dating site who claimed to love bike riding and swimming and all this other stuff, but when I met him, he admitted he hadn't done any of that stuff for over 10 years.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL. So those who don't find it fun to kayak or climb a mountain and instead prefer to tinker around the house or read a good book are the type who just 'watch life go by?' *Quite honestly, I can't imagine anything more boring then spending a few hours in a kayak on some river - and yet, I can still sleep pretty soundly knowing that my life is passing me right on by*. :rofl::rofl::rofl:


LMAO She'sStillGotIt ! 

Are you sure you're not Mrs. B ? 

This would be her EXACT sentiment !

If I had a dollar for every time Mrs. B has said something to this effect, then Mrs. B would be a wealthy woman. :grin2:


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL. So those who don't find it fun to kayak or climb a mountain and instead prefer to tinker around the house or read a good book are the type who just 'watch life go by?' Quite honestly, I can't imagine anything more boring then spending a few hours in a kayak on some river - and yet, I can *still* sleep pretty soundly knowing that my life is passing me right on by. :rofl::rofl::rofl:


That's a good way to describe it; I too, would be bored silly in a kayak, or many other activities, instead of just hanging out at home. I don't feel like I'm missing out on a thing.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

For me, it's not an issue of financial freedom, it's just my personality. Someone mentioned not having the means when growing up, but now that they have the means and like activities.

When I was a kid, we didn’t have any money issues, but it was because my parents managed money well and didn’t have a lot of stuff. We were just normal, average, common people, and we were very similar to others in our neighborhood. In those days, people like us didn’t care about fancy cars, fancy houses, and vacations. I’m not saying we never went anywhere, but it wasn’t a priority or 'passion" like it is with people these days. I realize that things like boats, campers, condos, and all that existed then, but it wasn’t our lifestyle, but we were happy and never aspired to it.

Our definition of happiness was having enough money to not have worries, and just have a close knit family. Fast forward to today. I suppose that “on paper,” I’m currently supposed to be above that. I have a college degree and work in a related field, but in my mind, I’m still just a regular Joe who still doesn’t care anything about boats and regular vacations. 

I hear some speak of "getting away." I suppose a vacation works for them in that regard, but my getting away is being at home. It's just a personality thing I suppose.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

@southbound analyze us.. are we homebodies or just my husband ??... I'll try to explain...

Both of us set out hoping to have a larger family....this lifestyle "fit us"... well, because: WE ARE HOMEBODIES, or I have always felt so...

We both love living in the country, with privacy.....just hanging out on our swing in the gazebo or watching a movie together..... we don't care for all the hustle & bustle.. always being on the go -I would find more stressful.... I think it matters how content I am at home though...

When younger...when I lived in the city, right next to a noisy bridge, pavement outside...I hated to be home... I always wanted to get out, go take a walk in the woods, somewhere Green, with trees....once we moved into our 1st little house, 3 acres of privacy...it was different... I loved staying home.. I've joked I could be a hermit if I love where I live & we have each other..

But at the same time (and this is where it all goes to crap -you'd probably feel).... I still want to DO vacations...I want our kids to experience Disney, Cedar Point, the Ocean, I want to see the Grand Canyon.. so many places I could name on the bucket list...I want to add to our / their memories / experiences.... I would feel life is passing us by if we never took some "day trips" (Amusement parks, museums, a haunted hay ride, a smash up derby, the Fair, a Rodeo, a day at the lake, etc etc) and those family / romantic Vacations......these are still *a MUST* for me... 

Husband sounds more like you Southbound...knowing him the way I do...he's one of those... just give him a frying pan, a roof over his head & some sex.. he's pretty content , a very simple man.... I don't think he'd care, or complain he needs to get out, go much of anywhere....so it's always been ME who does ALL the planning.. comes up with ALL the ideas, our little adventures....he's happy to go, always comes with a good attitude...this I can live with...

Now on the other hand.. if he bulked with my "get away" plans (always within budget)....I can only imagine this would NOT play out well with me... it would be like "throwing cold water in my face"...does this make sense?? 

I've said this before...without our kids.. we'd surely be pretty boring -in comparison to the more adventurous types...I've always felt our kids, their activities/ meets/ games have gotten us out more, doing things, meeting new people along the way.. but still we're pretty happy hanging out at home for the most part, except for what I mentioned above there.... a few places we've developed a "tradition" taking the kids every year sort of thing... I must admit my husband will remind me we need to go there...it's that time of year... I guess he does mention some things !


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> @southbound analyze us.. are we homebodies or just my husband ??... I'll try to explain...
> 
> Both of us set out hoping to have a larger family....this lifestyle "fit us"... well, because: WE ARE HOMEBODIES, or I have always felt so...
> 
> ...


This may have a lot to do with it. I live in a secluded rural area; when I look out my window, it looks like what some might envision in a getaway vacation. I have open fields, wooded areas, and not a house in sight. I see turkeys, deer, I hear water running and birds chirping; it's my little getaway. I have no need to go to a National park to camp out, walk in the woods, see wildlife, or get some peace and quiet. On the other hand, if I lived in an urban area where the houses are a few feet apart, I could see wanting to "escape" from time to time. 

I don't loath the idea of a vacation from time to time, but I just don't have a frequent desire "get away." Once I walk in or out my front door, I'm content.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Life doesn't 'pass you by' choosing a quiet life. Rather the opposite is often true.

there is time for contemplation and meditation. You have an opportunity to think
about life, it's wonders and what it's all about.

quite the contrary, rushing about and trying to keep too busy can create a blur.

it may be a 'rush', but in the end, what is that rush all about?

john lennon once said 'living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see'.

I would slightly amend that and say "not taking time to understand what you see".


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

jorgegene said:


> Life doesn't 'pass you by' choosing a quiet life. Rather the opposite is often true.
> 
> there is time for contemplation and meditation. You have an opportunity to think
> about life, it's wonders and what it's all about.
> ...


I agree with this very much. I've never understood how not being in a rush and on the go with constant activities all the time is missing out on life. I agree that it just creates a blur that may cause me to miss the precious little things in life.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

Every guy and girl is going to pump their own tires a bit in a profile.

They are more likely to portray an idealized version of themselves than the real person. Idealized goes out every night, goes on exotic trips, etc. etc.

Even in my younger years, a person like that just seems _tiring_. And I loved going out multiple times a week.

Maybe they're lying to you, but they are more likely just aching to sound interesting enough to people out there. 'Red flag' about people in these situations is that they try to cast as wide a net as possible: "I like to go out and party all night long but I am OK just sitting around for an evening".


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Meditation and contemplation will not work if your goal in life is experiencing things.

My wife is a major homebody, while me and the girls are explorers...


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

I enjoy creating experiences for my kids, seeing them discover the world, helping them frame what it is they see. 

It can be draining, being the one driving all night, or heading to work at vacation's end. But worthwhile.

I have trouble recalling a trip that was relaxing, or refueling. Most are extremely stressful at least some of the time, and usually overloaded with ambitions to fit more in and cover more ground than is possible. 

The most relaxing was probably a self-funded trip to a free conference to learn about a not-mainstream work-related technology that excites me. I went alone, and explored alone.

A travel partner, a life partner, and fellow explorer would be nice. Truly a treasure. For that to work, though, seems important we both be naturally headed towards the same direction and at about the same speed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

PieceOfSky said:


> *I enjoy creating experiences for my kids, seeing them discover the world, helping them frame what it is they see.
> 
> It can be draining, being the one driving all night, or heading to work at vacation's end. But worthwhile.*


 I told my husband earlier how I answered this thread.. what I said about him.... how he wouldn't much care if we went anywhere... his response to me is pretty much what you said here....that he cares that the kids get to experience the world and enjoy themselves.. 

When he was growing up... his parents did take a vacation every year... but it seemed it was always the SAME destination, so not sure he had much variety ....a trip to Nashville, the Grand old Opry, Saint Augustines to see the old Jail, visit an Aunt & Uncle & Daytona Beach ... he remembers once his Mom & Sister took him to Gettysburg... 

When it comes to our family... I try to do something different every year, always many pictures to look back upon... to spread it all out... Disney/ Florida every 5 yrs or so...



> I have trouble recalling a trip that was relaxing, or refueling. Most are extremely stressful at least some of the time, and usually overloaded with ambitions to fit more in and cover more ground than is possible.


 this can be hit or miss for us... with many kids.. one would think it would be hell...and there are moments ! Our last trip to Disney (7 of us).... boy did we pack it in.. drove 18 hrs to get there... 4 large parks in 7 days...(we get there early & stay till almost closing)... Cocoa Beach...Gatorland & Ripley's - but still I recall it going very smoothly... the time before that we lost a kid momentarily... had a tag on him to call our cell, so we were reunited within a half an hour, thankfully.. that was scary...

I remember one trip to a Yogi Bear Campground.. we only stayed 2 nights.. but there were endless mishaps..it rained near the whole time...our electric went out, lightning, our firewood got wet, a raccoon was on our porch, they didn't clean our cabin, no toilet paper..... I always write the highlights of our adventures in a journal... it was a disaster , I think our youngest fell off a golf cart that year...didn't catch one fish... we did end up laughing out loud , having a good heart to heart with our teens that night, talking hours into the night....as we were stuck there in the dark...this is the most memorable part of that trip to me... so it wasn't all lost...

I would say we personally enjoy our "just him & I" getaways more so in comparison.. they are more relaxed, at a slower pace...the kids aren't fighting over who gets the Loft ....but still... gotta do it all..



southbound said:


> This may have a lot to do with it. * I live in a secluded rural area; when I look out my window, it looks like what some might envision in a getaway vacation. I have open fields, wooded areas, and not a house in sight. I see turkeys, deer, I hear water running and birds chirping; it's my little getaway. *I have no need to go to a National park to camp out, walk in the woods, see wildlife, or get some peace and quiet. On the other hand, if I lived in an urban area where the houses are a few feet apart, I could see wanting to "escape" from time to time.


 Yeah I bet you would want to get away, and I'm sure many feel this way... if they lived in the city 24/7....especially if they had a longing for the country... 

I've had dreams in the past, have one every once in a while , not sure why...where It's like we sold our house, moved closer to the city or it's in the middle of the city suddenly.... this feeling of dread comes over me in my dreams...like something was greatly lost... then I'd wake up... and smile.. that it was just a dream.. 

Love when we see a whole family of turkeys walking past, gotta watch we don't hit a deer coming down the driveway even... the open fields ...the cows are on the other side of the hill.. once he seen a coyote out in the back yard, looking out our window...I missed that.. scary to hear them at night when they catch their prey... I'd take that any day over hearing sirens, car doors and neighbors fighting.. etc..


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

southbound said:


> I visit a few dating sites from time to time for fun, and what gets my attention most is how adventurous and active all the women portray themselves in their profiles. I am 48, and all the women in my age range speak of kayaking, traveling, planning their next vacation, mountain climbing, hiking, the beach. They post a lot of pictures on vacation as if that is going to lure in the guys. I was married for a long time and wasn't aware that my generation was so active and adventurous.


I'm with you dude. When I used to see all these "adventurous" women in their profiles, I would just **eyeroll** and next them. 

Way too high maintenance. I wouldn't call myself a homebody but casually going out and one vacation a year is plenty. 

I don't want to be "on" 24/7 and I don't want to be running around all the time 100s of miles from my house. It's sounds EXHAUSTING.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

My wife's profile on the dating site said specifically that she was a homebody...snatched her right up.


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## FiddleMeThis (Nov 3, 2016)

I think it's possible to be both. I'm pretty much a homebody after work and I'm perfectly happy to stay home on the weekends if the weather is lousy. However I'm equally happy to go to the mall or a bookstore on rainy days, and in nice weather I enjoy walking and hiking and going to local attractions like museums. In our household, we tend to spend more time outdoors than indoors whenever possible, but a lot of that is right at home in our own garden. Of course in winter when there is snow on the road I wish I could stay home 24/7. I have a tendency to spend the winter months redecorating our house.

But I'm curious - how many men are going to go for a woman whose online dating profile says I like to stay at home and read and putter around the house and garden?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

FiddleMeThis said:


> I think it's possible to be both. I'm pretty much a homebody after work and I'm perfectly happy to stay home on the weekends if the weather is lousy. However I'm equally happy to go to the mall or a bookstore on rainy days, and in nice weather I enjoy walking and hiking and going to local attractions like museums. In our household, we tend to spend more time outdoors than indoors whenever possible, but a lot of that is right at home in our own garden. Of course in winter when there is snow on the road I wish I could stay home 24/7. I have a tendency to spend the winter months redecorating our house.
> 
> But I'm curious - how many men are going to go for a woman whose online dating profile says I like to stay at home and read and putter around the house and garden?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As I said above, I am one, and I did.

The 17 years I spent with my ex wife, and once we had the kids, it was a never ending go, go, go three ring circus every minute of every day, and gah...I spent the last decade of that so totally burned out that I am so very appreciative of having a laid back wife.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

PieceOfSky said:


> I enjoy creating experiences for my kids, seeing them discover the world, helping them frame what it is they see.
> 
> It can be draining, being the one driving all night, or heading to work at vacation's end. But worthwhile.
> 
> I have trouble recalling a trip that was relaxing, or refueling. Most are extremely stressful at least some of the time, and usually overloaded with ambitions to fit more in and cover more ground than is possible.


That's one thing that I don't care about on travel; it's never relaxing; I don't understand people who say they go on vacation to "relax." I enjoy myself much more just staying at home.

As for kids making memories, my kids seem to be into the simpler things in life too. I've never been on a trip that was "horrible," but I've never been on one that I or my kids couldn't have been just as happy at home either. 

When my kids reminisce about things, it's usually something simple like a tv show they haven't seen in years, or something somebody said, or something unusual that happened and how we all reacted. We live over 550 miles from Florida. We went to the beach once, and the thing my kids remember most and talk about the most is my daughter's sleepwalking episode. Nobody says, "Oh, it was so wonderful to see the ocean, or remember that alligator? I'm sure they were interesting at the time, but it doesn't fuel us very long once it's over. 

I'm not trying to say vacations are weird or a stupid thing to do; I know traveling is a normal thing for some people, but not traveling is just as normal if that is what you enjoy, and I've discovered that one doesn't have to travel to make precious memories. 



FiddleMeThis said:


> But I'm curious - how many men are going to go for a woman whose online dating profile says I like to stay at home and read and putter around the house and garden?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Personally, I would eat it up; that's actually what I'm looking for. I find it quite refreshing to find a woman who is laid back and not on the go all the time.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Back in our better days we would go on a week cruise + a week vacation in places like Puerto Rico or the PNW. Exhausting, but very rewarding. I like the planning part of it, hotels, cruise, attractions, shopping... 

My daughter in Italy has learned the skill and put it to good use. Crazy long train trips, Airbnb, 3 euro pizzas, Carrefour's... Shopping... Same thing. She was in Naples last month and wanted a red coral jewelry set for J2. So she found the best place, one featured in NYT with Jack Nicholson . On top of a steep hill. On a Sunday. In rain.

Similar explorations when my younger was in France a while back. 

The point of such experiences is to not only learn and see, but develop the critical thinking and planning skills to survive. 

Of course, both their parents did the ultimate study abroad .


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

For most of human history, people never went more than a couple of miles from their home town/village/hamlet.

Traveling all over the world is (obviously) a modern development.


Which is all fine and good. But not for me.


I would travel if I had an RV. The cats are going with, the sheets and couch cushions are clean...and I can eat food that I cooked myself.

I've worked cleaning motels. The "standard" of cleanliness was that the top bedspreads got changed every three months (shudder). The few times that I have to travel; I take my own sleeping bag and pillow. And I'd advise anyone to take a can of Lysol and spray down everything in the bathroom.


The thought of being in a country that doesn't speak English makes me very uncomfortable. I'd freak if I was in trouble and couldn't make myself understood. Maybe this was from living near the Mexican border for years and hearing horror stories of people getting in trouble down there.

And being outside lying on the ground to sleep, getting bitten by insects, not having a bathroom----why would I do that voluntarily???


Yes, I am a houseplant. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you find someone who is compatible with you.

The only way I'm jumping out of an airplane, is if it is about to crash, and that's my only chance of living. Skydiving and bungee jumping seem like insanity to me. I just don't get it.


Be yourself, southbound.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

You make do. That's the fun of it. If you think sending a 20 year old in the middle of nowhere in Europe is scary, the same student is going to Switzerland next spring once again for study abroad and internship, and in a few years, Doctors Without Borders in some forsaken country... 

How is one going to improve their understanding of the rest of the planet from their own sofa? As a hyphenated American I hear opinions and remarks about the hyphenated part and it's really hitting home... How come such a great nation is so inward centered?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

PieceOfSky said:


> I enjoy creating experiences for my kids, seeing them discover the world, helping them frame what it is they see.
> 
> It can be draining, being the one driving all night, or heading to work at vacation's end. But worthwhile.
> 
> ...


i tend to be one with nervous energy on vacations. got to get up early, get to the events and experience them.

however, our last get away in the mountains, we spent the whole day in the motel room. only went out at night.
my wife liked that better than any vacation we've had so far.
although not my perfect idea of taking a trip, there is something to be said about it and it was a great day.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

john117 said:


> You make do. That's the fun of it. If you think sending a 20 year old in the middle of nowhere in Europe is scary, the same student is going to Switzerland next spring once again for study abroad and internship, and in a few years, Doctors Without Borders in some forsaken country...
> 
> How is one going to improve their understanding of the rest of the planet from their own sofa? As a hyphenated American I hear opinions and remarks about the hyphenated part and it's really hitting home... How come such a great nation is so inward centered?


i hear what you're saying.

i've been to about 25 countries and lived abroad in ireland and venezuela. every country is beautiful. 
every country without exception has it's uniqueness, 
natural splendor and cultural personality. even the poorest third world countries with abject poverty are well worth experiencing and learning.

no one who travels and truly experiences other places in the world at some risk to personal comfort is not enormously enriched by doing it.

nevertheless, after doing all of this in my earlier years, i've decided that if i never leave my state for the rest of my life, there are just too many things
in your own back yard (no matter what state/country you live) that are stunning in their beauty; that a lifetime could not exhaust the possibilities.

take farm country (fly over) for example. i could easily see myself spending the rest of my days driving through the endless back roads getting lost in the corn fields.

if van gogh can find exquisite beauty in a field of wheat, then maybe so can i.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

It's also fun to hear DD1's feedback. First it was mosquitoes (Italians are nonchalant about them) then earthquakes... Then the food is heavy... But she's grown so much the last three months....


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

john117 said:


> You make do. That's the fun of it. If you think sending a 20 year old in the middle of nowhere in Europe is scary, the same student is going to Switzerland next spring once again for study abroad and internship, and in a few years, Doctors Without Borders in some forsaken country...
> 
> How is one going to improve their understanding of the rest of the planet from their own sofa? As a hyphenated American I hear opinions and remarks about the hyphenated part and it's really hitting home... How come such a great nation is so inward centered?



The above post of yours came after one of mine, so I'm guessing (?) it was sort of directed to me.

I was raised in a military family; so we did travel overseas, and various bases in the U.S.

It was an destabilizing, unpleasant experience. And one of the pleasures of becoming an adult was knowing that no-one was going to drag me all over the place ever again.

For all the travelers and outdoorspeople; more power to you. Enjoy. There is no right or wrong. There is preference for one way of life over another.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I was only on a dating site for about 2 weeks before I met my husband.
I agree with the posters that now that we are in the 40 something age group we have the money to travel, so for many that turns into a big part of who they are.

When I did mine I listed all the things I enjoy, Even If it is something I only do a few times a year (concerts). Just to out out there enough info for the gentlemen to see if I like any of the things they like. Did I do this wrong on my profile? Dunno. I love the end results though!

That being said, I love being home and being a wife and mom.



{deleted what looks like personal info accidently copy/pasted into post window ~ elegirl}


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

notmyrealname4 said:


> I was raised in a military family; so we did travel overseas, and various bases in the U.S.
> 
> It was an destabilizing, unpleasant experience. And one of the pleasures of becoming an adult was knowing that no-one was going to drag me all over the place ever again.


Likewise. Lived in four cities before I was ten years old. Moved to the USA and lived in a few cities during college and early work. Same city for 3 decades, moved a few times.

Home is where you hang your hat .


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

southbound said:


> I visit a few dating sites from time to time for fun, and what gets my attention most is how adventurous and active all the women portray themselves in their profiles. I am 48, and all the women in my age range speak of kayaking, traveling, planning their next vacation, mountain climbing, hiking, the beach. They post a lot of pictures on vacation as if that is going to lure in the guys. I was married for a long time and wasn't aware that my generation was so active and adventurous.
> 
> My idea of a weekend after a week of work is unwinding at home. Dining out or a movie is nice from time to time, but I don't have to have every second away from work filled with an adventure.
> 
> ...


Yes, this is me! I noticed the same thing about men on the dating sites when I was on them a while back. Seems like everyone posted pics of a multitude of activities, and maybe they actually live like that, or maybe its just to look more interesting, but to me they just seem over the top! I would much rather do low key things and stay home most of the time!


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Well Southbound, I just got divorced after 33+ years because I was not "adventurous" enough. Of course, there were other factors, but that was a major factor.

I am a homebody. I enjoy my home. I like to have people over too. I like holidays in my home. I do things outside my home but it is not bungie jumping or jumping out of airplanes.

Some people "get out of the house" to go to a movie, go shopping, go out for dinner alone or with other couples, visit friends or family for a long weekend out-of-state, go see a Broadway show, spend two weeks at the beach for a vacation, go to someone's home for a summer BBQ, go see a Yankee or Met's game etc... Yes, I love to do those things.

However, my ex was content with those activities until a mid-life crisis hit him and a younger tomato caught his eye. Then I became a "homebody and boring." Now, he rides a motorcycle and wants to travel all over the globe. He wants to take a motorcycle trip to China and go on a safari in Africa. He told me if the POSOW "becomes a homebody, he will dump her too." Yeah, I know, he is special.

I have had many conversations with my siblings and friends about this topic. Looking back, my parents were homebodies. They did the basic fun stuff when we were young: little league, scouts, went to our sports activities but mom always cooked, cleaned the kitchen and they would watch TV. She would knit or crochet and he would read National Geographic. They went out occasionally. My siblings and their spouse are like me.

My ex's parents were never home. They traveled all the time and left their kids with neighbors or family members. They were always busy. Always. 

I don't know why I'm rambling on right now .........maybe because this topic hurts. If you meet someone who wants to be active, just ask them if they are talking about bowling or taking up hang gliding.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

VeryHurt said:


> Looking back, my parents were homebodies. They did the basic fun stuff when we were young: little league, scouts, went to our sports activities but mom always cooked, cleaned the kitchen and they would watch TV. She would knit or crochet and he would read National Geographic. They went out occasionally. My siblings and their spouse are like me.


That sounds like a wonderful life to me; it is similar to my upbringing. 



VeryHurt said:


> My ex's parents were never home. They traveled all the time and left their kids with neighbors or family members. They were always busy. Always.


I suppose being busy and on the go all the time was viewed as a negative in my family. It was viewed as a blessing that we had a life where we didn't have to be on the go all the time. It just sounds more appealing to me to say that someone had a week of school or work, and on the weekends we got to unwind. I would get up and watch Saturday morning cartoons and then maybe hang out with my friends or just play around the house. On Sunday we would go to church and maybe eat lunch at the grandparents and then just relax around the house the rest of the day. 

I have fond memories of that. It sounds better to me than waking up on the weekend and having to burn the road up with activities from sunup to sundown. 

I think being laid back and relaxed is what I remember most about my childhood. I guess i didn't think much about it at the time, but when I look back and compare it to how people live today, it seems a lot different. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we didn't work. My father worked publicly and even helped my grandfather on his farm, but it just didn't seem like a stressful, "on the go life" like people have today. Great memories!


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