# my story... from A to Z



## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

Hello Tammers, this is my first post, even if I have been a long time lurker. Yesterday I decided to register and today to tell my story....
who knows, maybe it can be helpful, or maybe not.

First thing I'm sorry if i write badly, English is my 2° language.

I am 46 years old, and when i was 29 (1997) i got married with who I thought was the love of my life! She is now 40. We dated 2 years but we knew each other for 5 years prior our engagement. 

Our life was great! We shared everything and rarely argued. Then in 1999 our daughter was born and we were the must happiest family ever! We both had a good job so Life was really great!

But one day..... after 10 years of marriage (2007), my world collapsed!

Starting from the year before my wife started to be distant... did'nt want to do the usual things we did:
mentally absent;
sad;
thoughtful;
aloof;
These are the things that I immediately noticed, and I tried to understand why... I ask and she just overflyed the argument. 
I started to look at myself and I was wondering if maybe it was me who changed and did things that would disappoint her and take her for granted, or maybe i was'nt treating her the way she wanted.... I never immagined nothing else..... 
Then she started going over a common girlfriend of ours also married. We knew each other prior our marriage and also with 2 daughters, one the same age as mine (8) so I thought that maybe it was what she needed... my wife has never been a person that liked to party, so since me and my D8 loved to stay always together she had time to meet and hang out with our friend.

First it would have been twice a week, then every 3 days.....
Then almost every afternoon. She seemed happier and so was I!
But also our sex lives decreased from 4 times a week to 1 and even that once seemed that she would do me a favor.

So now I started to get a little uncomfortable, and we talked about it, she was aware that things changed but told me that this is what she needs for now and to understand. So, thats what I did.... i tried to understand and i did not put pressure although it sounded very strange to me.

So one day, while me and my Daughter were out shopping, i saw our common girlfriend with her 2 Daughters. Since my wife told me that she was over her place i guessed that they had a change of plans..... instead when i asked she said that she only had been with my wife once that week!! 
I tried to show nothing of my emotions, but knowing that i was lied to from who was always loyal made me feel real bad.

This post got long, next one will explane what i discovered and what happened.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

So that evening i asked my wife how was her day, her answer was a lie. She said same things, been at Girlfriend house then went out with her for an ice cream... 
I looked at her straight in the eye's showing nothing, pretending to believe her knowing it was a lie! My inside feelings became mixed, and i realized that something bad was happening on my back. She saw the change on my face, and asked.... i was tempted to respond, but i did'nt. I just said that i did'nt feel good and left it at that.
Back in 2009 i knew nothing about strategies, TAM, 180 or anything to do about a situation like this... i was numb.

So when she told me that she was going to her friends house i said ok and I followed her. D8 was at my moms house, and i had the day off and she did'nt know it. 
Well... she arrived at our girlfriends house and then is when i was feeling to be a jerk, asking myself what kind of strange ideas i was having and how stupid i was. 
Meantime she rang the bell and went back to to car. So I stayed to see, and 1 minute after i see our girlfriends husben come down real fast and get in her car! :scratchhead:

So i decided to see what was going on. They took off and and i followed them at a safe distance, just to see them go out of town and i lost them!
At that point I called our Girlfriend and asked to meet her as soon as possible, she told me were she was and i piked her up.

I explaned what was going on in this past period and also what i did that day. I told her everything about the lies and whatmy gut was screaming at me! 
She was at first incredulous, but then thoughtful... and she said to me that they had a house in the country not so far out of town. I told her please lets go.
When we got there we saw her car... at that point all was clear! She was about to burst in but i stopped her and asked if she had another key. She did.
We parked were they could'nt hear us, and without talking got near the door, and as soon as we turned the keys we hade made noise, and at that point we herd panic inside but could'nt go in since they left the other key's on the inside.... 

At that point all was discovered, her husben did'nt want to open the door, and had no intention to face us, my wife was silent did'nt say a word! maybe to pretend she was'nt there? To bad the car was.

So I convinced our friend to leave after almost 1 hour, meantime she calmed down agreed to go telling her husben to never come back home.

I had brought with me the extra pairs of the car keys and took off with it leaving them on foot!


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

We went to her place and tryied to understand the timeline, the reasons and everything that was wrong.
We were both upset, she wanted to go back but i told her why? he needs to come back anyway, and also my wife. When i saw her calm enough i left, went to my moms house to pike up D8, told my mom and dad what happened..... they were shocked and told be to stay calm and work it out with her, but my dad knew that for me it was'nt going to happen.... D8 did'nt hear our conversation.

So then I started to think what to do. I was really upset and i continued to look at D8 wondering what would now happen.

We got home, and wife was not there yet, 5 km out of town is a little distant for walkers!

So i told D8 if she wanted to spend some time at my sisters house with her cousins and she thought it was a great idea. I told her that mom and dad have a lot of work to do and she needed to stay there for at least 1 week, and she was ok with that.
After i called my sister explaining in general what happened, i went over her place told her the details, left D8 and went back home.

My wife still wasnt back and her cel was of, but i tried only once to call. My cell started to go on with friends wanting to know what happened. My tought was that girlfriend spreed the word!

Since wife did'nt seem to arrive i had time to figure out what to do. I already knew that no matter what things would never be the same... i started to cry knowing that i was done with her and how stupid she was for cheating. She knew very well that for me any type of R was out of the question, but i still did not know what to do in the meantime.
I called in work saying i had problems, and they gave me 3 days to sort them out. So having my D8 at my sisters, and having 3 days of free time i needed to take action fast. For sure one of us had to leave in the meantime, since i would never be able in that state of mind to live with her under the same roof, and since i had a 1 bed room little house also in the country to to far, i decided to pack-up all my stuff that i was able to fit in the car.
While I was doing this my wife shows up with my BIL witch i get along very well. She was sobbing and desperate, and my BIL was trying to be like an intermediary.

I just told her that i needed to stay away for a while, and where D8 was, so if she wanted she can see her at my sisters place, she was also ok for her staying ther for a week. She started to say what she did and also why, but I stopped her. I said that I need to leave, and she can explane another day when we are all calm. Now it's useless it would only enrage me, and my BIL was also accord with it. 
I could'nt stand the site of her and she saw it clearly. Then i left.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

The following day i went to the bank and separated all financial 
matters. I left her with more then half of our account.
Then i went to my sisters to see D8, we stayed toghether for a while. My sister told me that WW passed by the evening before and they talked and she seemed to be very remorseful. 
I told my sister that i would never be able to forget, and that i am heading for D. She was disappointed, but in the end understood and gave me the number of a friend that was a lawyer witch i called and immediately went to that same morning. 
Meantime my cell was full of messages of WW.

I explaned to the lawyer everything, and he told me what was necessary to do, were i live ther was a law that stated that it was necessary a 3 year separation before D. can be finalized. 

The seperation needed to be notified by both, so now it was time to go back home and start it.

When i arrived WW was in a total mess. As soon as she saw me she broke out and wanted to hug me, I let her do it but i did'nt correspond, so she gently backed off and sat on the chair asking me to sit near so she can explane. 

I sai to start talking, and i would not interrupt her but she needed to say the whole truth, also that i knew everthing already but i wanted to hear her version.

She started talking about how she was feeling about 10 months ago... she knew my love for her was sincere, and that we had a good family that we wanted to enlarge, but she was not happy ... she was depressed..... she felt old ahead of time..

Meeting her girlfriend she started to see something more different.

Now i need to go, be back later for the rest of the story


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

Then one day her girlfriend was not home, and so happend to be ther her husben who let her in saying that his wife would be shortly back. They started talking and one thing led to another. She told him her problems, and he basically told her want she wanted to hear from a mans point of view. Things went like this for a while untill 3 month's before DDay they kissed. Since the girlfriend was comming back they left it at that but fantasized the following day's about it, and that's when we became less intimate.
It started as a PA 2 weeks after and it went on like twice a week to become also even more the final month.

Well... at that point i told her that even if it was a ONS i would never forgive, she knew that well. She said that she did'nt want to D. and i said that i had already talked to a lawyer about it. 
She cried alot but knew that for the moment that was the road for me to follow. I also told her that i will pake-up other things i had and live in the country for a while, and we needed to show D8 less problems possible.
My D8 (know D14) has always been smart, she is the first in the class from elementary school, so it did'nt take long before she realized what was going on.
In the meanwhile Girlfiend kicked her husben out and also got a D. going on.

D8 wanted to know everything, and it was her mom who told her all. So she decided that she will finish the school year with her mom and in the meanwhile wait for me to find a bigger house in town and then move in with me. 

EWW was crushed, and I felt very bad for her. 
The D. process went ahead and i passed that following year totaly lost. I never went back home but we remained in good relashinship with my EXWW also because she was trying to do al the right things, and I was also, but the time passes and also the 3 year period of seperation did!
I think that my EXWW thought that i would consider R. before finalizing D. but she did did'nt count on the fact that i might meet someone new.
In the year 2010 (last of 3 years seperated) i meet this fantastic woman, and she knew my story. We dated, but nothing serious...
I had still triggers, and she did not want to be the OW.

But my D. (now11) enjoyed her company... they got along very well, and i started to see her differently.
My EXWW saw that also


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Tough story, but it makes perfect sense. I also understand why R would not work out. At least the two of you remain on decent terms and that has to be good for your daughter.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

She started to become worried, only now she understands that I have no intentions to R. 
The day before going to court she once again tried to R. pleading for another chance to rebuild our family. 
All useless.... 

the next day we finalized the D. and i felt like a ton of bricks were off my shoulders. My Ex said bye, and we catch up with each other with D11 activity's.

Mean time me and Wonderful Woman witch i will call M. continued to go out toghether... 
in 2011 she moved in with me, and in 2013 we got married. We know have a 1 year son and we are very happy.

My D14 loves her brother, she cant stay without him and helps alot in the house. M. loves me for who I am, she tell's me everyday how greatful she is to GOD for meeting me.

My ex tried dating, but she cant find the happiness she is looking for..... good thing D14 makes her feel good.


Wish my story will be helpful.... but for sure i can say that for all the BS there is a light! The only thing important is to be HONEST WITH THEMSELVES.... honest to see if R. is a option to try, honest to realize if it's needed to move on, honest to have the courage to decide for the well being for all


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> Tough story, but it makes perfect sense. I also understand why R would not work out. At least the two of you remain on decent terms and that has to be good for your daughter.



Yes, in my case my ex knew that she messed up.... she did not have a real reason for cheating...
Since we live in a small town i guess that she was bored. Also because i was her 1 and only (she was still a vergin when we meet) so not having experienced other relationships might have been also a cause.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

glad for you man.

your wife doesn't seems to be a bad person, the fact that she came clean inmediatly, tried R and all those years never went crazy and vendictive because you did not wanted R shows that she probably is a good person at heart.

Ufortunatly she also seems to be the sort of woman who believes that the perfect man for her, "the one", will bring perpetual happiness to her life, a commom missconception that women have (endorsed by the media). As long as she doesn't realize that she is responsible for her own happiness her relationships will keep failing, I hope she can realize this and find someone in the end.

what happened to the friend and the XOM in the end?, I hope she divorced as well, did your XWF ever faced her XF about what happened?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Great story. Thank you for sharing. 

It goes to show how a relatively good person like your ex can fall into a pattern of self destruction due primarily to lack of personal boundaries. Your ex had no boundaries with men outside the marriage and it sounds like she allowed this man to seduce her. 

What ever happened to the other man? I'm surprised he and your ex did not get together given the length and intensity of their affair.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I am glad that you found peace. It sounds like your daughter is also well adjusted and that is great news as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Glad that you survived.

good luck to you and your now W and kids.

Hope you continued happiness.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

> Your ex had no boundaries with men outside the marriage and it sounds like she allowed this man to seduce her.


You know how this sounds bandit, right ? She was an adult. It was her friend's husband. She knew what she was doing. 

Not only did she cheat on her husband of a decade, she cheated with her best friend's husband. That really takes it to a different level.. You just don't do things like that by accident. You don't do that stuff to your friend. Her friend, poor woman was betrayed by both her husband and her best friend.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

manticore said:


> glad for you man.
> 
> your wife doesn't seems to be a bad person, the fact that she came clean inmediatly, tried R and all those years never went crazy and vendictive because you did not wanted R shows that she probably is a good person at heart.
> 
> ...



Yes, you are right. My ex is a wonderful person, only now realizes the mess she made and hopefully she will find someone that can give her a chance for a new living.

The Girlfriend (call her A) is still MY friend and is now a good friend of my current wife as well. Our doughters are good friends and they helped each other to get over this ordeal. Expecially my D14 helped her D14 get trough.
She lives with her 2 daughters and is Divorced. Her exH tried in every manner to get back with her, but she couldnt trust him any longer. He now is living with his old parents and is seen as a jerk in town... guess he will need to move far to re-marry!
A. hate's my ex... she realizes how she was manipulated but like me does'nt forgive the length of the affair... she say's that you can make a mistake, but you cant keep doing it without willingness.
So yes they are no further friends...
in a moment of anger she told my ex that she had sex with me for revenge just to get my ex upset as well...

I laughed at that and never told my ex it was'nt true


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> Great story. Thank you for sharing.
> 
> It goes to show how a relatively good person like your ex can fall into a pattern of self destruction due primarily to lack of personal boundaries. Your ex had no boundaries with men outside the marriage and it sounds like she allowed this man to seduce her.
> 
> What ever happened to the other man? I'm surprised he and your ex did not get together given the length and intensity of their affair.


he is now single and lives with his parents. Many in town dont like him and he seems always upset of life... 
I share more time with his daughter them him!!! She is a good friend of my daughter


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

workindad said:


> I am glad that you found peace. It sounds like your daughter is also well adjusted and that is great news as well.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





harrybrown said:


> Glad that you survived.
> 
> good luck to you and your now W and kids.
> 
> Hope you continued happiness.



Thank you to both!
It was really hard that first year.... no kidding. I hade all typ's of taughts. I even harmed myself by drinking and smoking to much.
My D14 snapped me out. She told me :
dad, when i get married i want you by my side that will walk me to the altar, i want you to see your nephews grow... I still need you to help me be the person you are.

We hugged and cryed, and from that day i was a new man.... and according to my current wife that is when she noticed me


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

What is your current relationship like with your ex? Are the two of you still "friends" or merely cordial?


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> What is your current relationship like with your ex? Are the two of you still "friends" or merely cordial?



Like i said, we live in a small town, so knowing that even if we go shopping, or at a bar, or just walking down the main road we could probably meet face to face.
So knowing this, i decided to stay cordial with my ex.
Our D14 goes swimming, has kickbox training and is very into school works... so, D14 needs both of us in her life even if she has more feelings for me.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

I, in the meantime, have been helping many couples that have marital problems. Many ask me how i managed to get over and move on. It's not really like this, but i guess that the way they see me seems that I can helpful for them.
When i ran into TAM and was reading many stories, i decided that maybe i could be helpfull for those BS that cant get over it, that have problems with R. that are in limbo and so on....
feel free to ask and i will be glad to answer


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

FromEurope said:


> I, in the meantime, have been helping many couples that have marital problems. Many ask me how i managed to get over and move on. It's not really like this, but i guess that the way they see me seems that I can helpful for them.
> When i ran into TAM and was reading many stories, i decided that maybe i could be helpfull for those BS that cant get over it, that have problems with R. that are in limbo and so on....
> feel free to ask and i will be glad to answer


How did you get through the mind movies of your ex and the OM having sex? This is a huge hurdle for most betrayed husbands. 

Did your ex actually ever come out and make a real heartfelt apology for hurting you and blowing up her family? Or did she just display guilt for getting caught?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

How did the ex's family react to this ? 

Is your current W ok with the relationship you have with the ex now ?


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> How did you get through the mind movies of your ex and the OM having sex? This is a huge hurdle for most betrayed husbands.
> 
> Did your ex actually ever come out and make a real heartfelt apology for hurting you and blowing up her family? Or did she just display guilt for getting caught?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





bandit.45 said:


> How did you get through the mind movies of your ex and the OM having sex? This is a huge hurdle for most betrayed husbands.
> 
> Did your ex actually ever come out and make a real heartfelt apology for hurting you and blowing up her family? Or did she just display guilt for getting caught?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Yes... I am very passionate person and also jealous.
But believe me when i say that for me there was no reason for not giving her trust.... she knew i was like this before the engagement, so that's probably why she could'nt have a chance in R. 
I already had my blood pressure high when i saw him running out of the house and got into the car... but i kept telling myself ther must be an explanation..
Then i was in total shock when i saw the car parked in front of the country house...but A. was more outraged then me and i had a hard time keeping her calm.
They did not have the courage to come out the house and my ex did'nt say a word... so yes i guess that she was in panic and in that moment only guilty! Then at my sisters house first and the next day with me she had a real heartfelt.... and she showed it in every matter, only that I was cold hearted.
She knew it was over and tried every desperate way to get me back.
As for the mind movies.... well yes, that 1 year was hard. 
Sleepless nights, hard drinking just to fall-out... did'nt want nobody near me. My family started to get worried. Honestly i think i would've died if i kept up with that type of life.
In that year the only thing i knew was that my ex had to be as far as possible from me. I never talked with her by phone, only sms. She tried to come visit me but i had gotten a doberman that was free in my property and she could'nt get passed the gate, and i warned her to never try to come nearby.
Then slowly i started to realize that i did'nt deserve to live this way.... and then my D14 came to me and said those magic words....
I started to take care of the property, the small house, played to be a part time farmer.... then i started to go out first in the afternoon, then in the evening. I started to laugh again.
When i felt strong enough i decided to have a last talk with my ex.... i had forgiven her and i wanted to let her know.
That grew hope in her, but it did'nt last to long, because now all i was seeing was someone witch was not my wife, and that made me feel pity for her.
So..... that bad period with NC and terrible flashbacks were the things that made me strong and willing to live again.
At 46 and with a almost 2 year old baby boy i feel like I'm 29 again (when i first married)


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

warlock07 said:


> How did the ex's family react to this ?
> 
> Is your current W ok with the relationship you have with the ex now ?



My ex's family that live in town are 1 BIL, and my Ex MIL.
BIL is in good relationship with me, he loves my D14 and knows that she will not allow nobody in her life without me, but he is a good man. hE TRIED to help her in R. with me, it was him that picked her up from the house in the country, but she was alone the OM was probably hiding. He knew it was over the moment he saw me. MIL is very old and has problems, always at home and every once a while D14 stops to visit her and keeps her updated. I havent spoken with her since D. was finalized.
1 other BIL lives up north And 1 SIL also they are sad about what happend but you know...blood is thicker.
My current wife has always a smile on her face when ex is around. She only see's her when ther is something in common to see with D14, LIKE A KICKBOX MATCH or a swimming tournament. She respects my ex, and when she feels the need to kiss me, she waits when ex is'nt around.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

May I ask what country you live in? If not, what region? Mediterranean, Scandinavian, Eastern Europe , etc?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> May I ask what country you live in? If not, what region? Mediterranean, Scandinavian, Eastern Europe , etc?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sure you can! I live in the middle of the Mediterranean sea:
SICILY!


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

From 18 to 26 I traveled alot.... Once with a friend and his motorbike we traveled from sicily to Spain... back and forth. 3 wild weeks!


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

How old is your current wife? Not really relevant, but curious anyway. were you trying to date when you met her?


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

warlock07 said:


> How old is your current wife? Not really relevant, but curious anyway. were you trying to date when you met her?


my current wife is 38 (my ex is 40) I am 46. yeah.... 2 years younger! And for who is asking him/herself: YES SHE IS HOTTER!
And no, i was'nt looking to find a new relationship. I just started to re-live again! It all came naturally... i guess living happy makes you look good!


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

FromEurope said:


> my current wife is 38 (my ex is 40) I am 46. yeah.... 2 years younger! And for who is asking him/herself: YES SHE IS HOTTER!
> And no, i was'nt looking to find a new relationship. I just started to re-live again! It all came naturally... i guess living happy makes you look good!


Just being happy with yourself is all you need to be attractive to others.

Your english is excellent by the way.

Keep having a great life!


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

happyman64 said:


> Just being happy with yourself is all you need to be attractive to others.
> 
> Your english is excellent by the way.
> 
> Keep having a great life!


yes that is what is necessary in order to start a new life.. being happy!
It is important first of all to "fix yourself" to be happy.
How to do it? it's not easy, but what has to be done is a sincere soul inner searching.... you can find it in faith, you can find it looking in your kids eye's, you can find it on top of a mountain!
YOU CANT FIND IT FOOLING YOURSELF. NO SELF PITTY....



I learned to talk English in the US. I have a cousin that lives there and i stayed with him for almost 1 year.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I have a good friend who's grandparents are from Palermo. The Nittis. Great people. The grandma is the best cook. I never say no when he invites me to their home and his grandma is cooking.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> I have a good friend who's grandparents are from Palermo. The Nittis. Great people. The grandma is the best cook. I never say no when he invites me to their home and his grandma is cooking.


you come often here in Sicily? I live in the province of Palermo about 1 hour away. 
In every part of the world I've been, NO food is better then Italian! The Mediterranean diet is absolute the best! No offense but the truth is the truth!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

FromEurope said:


> Thank you to both!
> It was really hard that first year.... no kidding. I hade all typ's of taughts. I even harmed myself by drinking and smoking to much.
> My D14 snapped me out. She told me :
> dad, when i get married i want you by my side that will walk me to the altar, i want you to see your nephews grow... I still need you to help me be the person you are.
> ...


Yeah, too much drinking after a betrayal. I can sympathise with that.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You did the right things, in the right way.

Well done.:smthumbup:


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## CluelessWif (Jun 20, 2014)

manticore said:


> glad for you man.
> 
> your wife doesn't seems to be a bad person, the fact that she came clean inmediatly, tried R and all those years never went crazy and vendictive because you did not wanted R shows that she probably is a good person at heart.
> 
> ...


You are 100% correct. There was actually a study done a few years back. It showed a strong correlation between reading a great deal of romance novels and dissatisfaction in marriage. The researchers came to the conclusion that there is a possible link between excessive romance reading and unrealistic expectations in marriage.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

THIS is how it should be done.

FromEurope wanted a D from the get go, but his course of action was exactly what needed to be done even if he did want to consider R.

His strength and no-nonsense choices reduced his exWW to surrender immediately.

Stories like this make reading other threads, where the BS makes decisions out of fear and begs and pleads for the WS to stop the A and love them back, almost painful to read.

Well done FromEurope....I'm happy that things have turned out so spectacularly for you.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

FromEurope said:


> you come often here in Sicily? I live in the province of Palermo about 1 hour away.
> In every part of the world I've been, NO food is better then Italian! The Mediterranean diet is absolute the best! No offense but the truth is the truth!


No. They immigrated to the US after WWII.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> You did the right things, in the right way.
> 
> Well done.:smthumbup:



Thank you.
I only had a roller coaster ride 1 month after DDay and for the following 10 months (that almost famous terrible year) but after that period my only focus was getting over it and living better no matter what! Concentrating on what i still had and keeping my mind busy was very helpful


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

CluelessWif said:


> You are 100% correct. There was actually a study done a few years back. It showed a strong correlation between reading a great deal of romance novels and dissatisfaction in marriage. The researchers came to the conclusion that there is a possible link between excessive romance reading and unrealistic expectations in marriage.


Yes, part of it could be. Also I think that many people (men or woman) although they have what is already necessary to live a happy life, it just seems that they can find better! They just are not content..... like if they think:
"if i got here i can do certainly better"......

Living your life with love will make you love the life you live!

Dont remember where i read that, but it's very true


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> THIS is how it should be done.
> 
> FromEurope wanted a D from the get go, but his course of action was exactly what needed to be done even if he did want to consider R.
> 
> ...


I knew that R. was not an option. I knew that because I did'nt stop listening to my soul and heart... it was something that i knew would never make things return to normal,, i would've triggered, get depressed and think of the lies and manipulation. I knew that even if my mind was willing to give another try, probably i would've become crazy!
If ever R. was to happen it needed to be from 0..... meaning first divorce and then dating her again.......


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> No. They immigrated to the US after WWII.



ahhhh.... many did!
one of them was my uncle.. his son is the one were i went to when i came to the US and learned my English.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

FromEurope said:


> Sure you can! I live in the middle of the Mediterranean sea:
> SICILY!


"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line" comes to mind.


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