# It wasn't about sex..... yea right.



## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

I stil get that line from my cheating wife, "it wasn't about sex".

I take it as trickling truth. Why cheating woman use that excuse again and again ?

For me, even it was true, it doesn't make it any better.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

yes i got that line as well.my wife spent the night in a hotel with om and came home and had sex with me.said i love you and want to work on our marriage...then went to work and started texting om. sex is about sex.if it wasnt they wouldnt have sex


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Hey Sweet: In my experience and also in my honest opinion, the EA(Emotional Affair) sets the gears into motion for the PA(Physical Affair). The women and men who intentionally or unintentionally get themselves involved in either of those affairs are more than seriously jeopardizing their own marriages/relationships, as both are so very damning in their own special ways.

The PA is merely the whipped cream and cherry on top of the ice cream sundae that the EA so aptly provides!


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

That's 'cause if they admit it was about sex, the implication that it was all your fault won't fly.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Mori quoted... "Sex is the Currency of Affairs."

When finally caught cheating for years, my wife used the "It was really not about the Sex" line on me also. I was like WTF are you talking about. She said it was really all about the Attention. 

Strange I countered, every time you met your OMs you had Sex. All your emails, text, and chats were sexual in content. I asked her, just what did you think was going to happen when you meet in secret in a Hotel room? Her response... "It was possibility".

Just another way of rationalizing, downplaying the reality of the betrayal you have committed.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

RWB said:


> Mori quoted... "Sex is the Currency of Affairs."
> 
> When finally caught cheating for years, my wife used the "It was really not about the Sex" line on me also. I was like WTF are you talking about. She said it was really all about the Attention.
> 
> ...


that is pretty much word for word what my wife told me.lie lie and more lies.. maybe they thought they were going to play checkers or something.who knows


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

funny, I got the "it was just sex" line


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## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> funny, I got the "it was just sex" line


Funnier than that I had the "it was not even sex" line. 

My wife's first affair was started as an ONS and then they continued as **** buddies for a very short while after we separated. She always maintained that there was not much of anything good about The OM (first OM). 

For the second affair of her's it was more than EA, PA it was love, according to her.

My wife is a such a different animal.

EDIT: My wife used that "it was'nt about sex" line for the second affair. In my opinion it started as a light weight EA and soon PA without much consideration from my wife, then it was progressed to a LOVE.


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

^you say....second affair?

what are you still debating about. this is twice already. time to cut her loose.


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## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

cledus_snow said:


> ^you say....second affair?
> 
> what are you still debating about. this is twice already. time to cut her loose.


I cut "myself" loose in many ways, I am with her mostly for the kids.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Oh, I forgot to add... Right after the "It was not about Sex line." I got the without even taking a breath... "The Sex did not mean anything to me, it just happened, I was so confused."

Oh Boy, now that just makes it all fine doesn't it. WTF!


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

_"I am with her mostly for the kids."_

sometimes, this is not a good enough reason.


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## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

cledus_snow said:


> _"I am with her mostly for the kids."_
> 
> sometimes, this is not a good enough reason.


Only sometimes.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

*Dean* said:


> No disrespect but if your wife did that to you she is one cold bitc&!
> 
> Having sex with other man and then coming home and having
> sex with her husband........what a bitc&!
> ...


You don't recover from that.its as heartless as one could be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

*Attention = Ego Gratification*


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

You never finished your story SweetAndSour?


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

Mine said it wasn't about sex after a while b/c he loved her. Sometimes they didn't have sex they just spent a quiet hour together. Not sure why he needed to tell me this yesterday except to prove he is really in love with her. Guess he needed to justify 13 years of deception.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

What gets me is that 99999999.9999 percent of the time the guy is just trying 
To get another notch on his belt loop and will tell the woman everything she wants to hear 
Once that happens if push comes to shove say his wife finds out or something he will throw her under the bus 
In no time flat. The grass is never greenier on the other side. It is green where its watered
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

For a man it is all about the sex, variety and attention they are not getting at home.

The majority posting are men, who's wives have cheated. 

I am going to be brutally honesty. Any of these men no longer sexually active with their wives? Any put on 60-70's, have a paunch and are not physically the same they were when married? I imagine most will say no.

Then the question is whether you tried to maintain the romance and excitement in the marriage. Did you lavish attention and listen to her?

I think for women often it is the romance, attention and the EA that leads to sex. Sometimes it is better, but mostly it is about what they're missing at home as opposed to men, who foremost are missing sex at home.....


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

SweetAndSour said:


> I stil get that line from my cheating wife, "it wasn't about sex".
> 
> I take it as trickling truth. Why cheating woman use that excuse again and again ?
> 
> For me, even it was true, it doesn't make it any better.


I've always said that it wasn't about the sex for me. We didn't have sex every time we saw each other, it was more of an emotional connection, someone who made me feel appreciated, and listened to me without judgement. Sex was just a by product of emotions gone crazy.

But, you don't have to believe me. 

I do think there are women who are into it for the thrill, the excitement etc. I also think that if a woman can have sex with her om, then come home and act like nothing, and have sex with her husband....it's pretty darn cold.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I don't think it matters. I am sure there are times that it is about sex. I am sure there are times when it is about feelings that lead to sex. I am sure there are times when it is about feelings and doesn't lead to sex.

All are wrong. 

Cheating is cowardly. If your marriage isn't working for you. Go to counseling or leave the marriage.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

How about it wasnt about sex, it was about being a selfish unloving lying betraying cheater.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> How about it wasnt about sex, it was about being a selfish unloving lying betraying cheater.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree completely...

My ex wasn't so mad at the fact that sex was involved, it was the lying, gaslighting,..but most of all, the trickle truth. He just couldn't live wondering if more information was going to come out.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Ha! My wife slept with OM on and off for a year, that was the only thing they did when they got together, but, it wasn't about the sex. Matter of fact, she even said the sex wasn't any good. Imagine if that sh!+ were good?!


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I have two comments--and they are just my thoughts:

1) So you say "It wasn't about sex." So somehow does it make it all better if it was about disregarding loyalty and commitment for selfish ego gratification? LOL (rolleyes)

2) Do you realize that if you put as much effort into sending your husband emails, posts, texts, and FB chats...and then had as much sex with him as you did with the OM...that you would have had an emotional connection with the man to whom you made a promise? GEEZ! (rolleyes)


...and I say this as a former disloyal! SRSLY some days (smh)


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Havesomethingtosay said:


> For a man it is all about the sex, variety and attention they are not getting at home.
> 
> The majority posting are men, who's wives have cheated.
> 
> ...


If that's the case, hang out with the guy and don't have sex, have him take you out to nice dinners. Have him wine and dine and romance you. Not meet up and have sex and go home right after and say he is fulfilling a desire not being met at home. If that's the case, I should be able to stop doing all the nice things I do and just get to have sex with her and send her off to the other room when done. 

So unless the desire not being met at home is sex or sexual, then not buying it. sorry.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

It was never about the SEX, it was the attention he gave her that I had not. WTF!

I asked her "How many times the OM took you to the doctor when sick?", "How many times did he fix you dinner?", "How many Val, Ann, Birthday cards and letters did he send you?", "How many times did he work extra shifts to make sure the bills got payed so you could stay home with the kids?", "How many vacations did he plan and take with you?", "How many, when did he, WHATEVER!".

She just sat there in complete stupor. I gave her the answer... He emailed, FB chatted, called you on the phone and then met you in a hotel and f--ked you all day long. Say hello to your long lost Soul Mate. 

In retrospect, maybe it is not about the Sex, the attention, the childish selfishness...maybe it's just F--ked Up?


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Personally, I would tell her to get all dressed up and that you are going to take her out to dinner down town. Find out where the red light district is. Drive there, and as you are driving by *"Say, look at all the hores. I guess this as good as place as any. GET OUT. Make a lot of money tonight, you need an apartment. Oh and remember honey, ITS NOT ABOUT SEX"* Then leave her there.


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## Simon Phoenix (Aug 9, 2010)

mikeydread1982 said:


> If that's the case, hang out with the guy and don't have sex, have him take you out to nice dinners. Have him wine and dine and romance you. Not meet up and have sex and go home right after and say he is fulfilling a desire not being met at home. If that's the case, I should be able to stop doing all the nice things I do and just get to have sex with her and send her off to the other room when done.
> 
> So unless the desire not being met at home is sex or sexual, then not buying it. sorry.


Amen to that. That is a cop-out if I ever saw one.

If it is only about getting the attention and feeling wanted, have him take her out to expensive dinner dates without getting any for weeks at a time. Have him listen to her go on and on about all the exes and former flames who all got to hit it on the first date while nice guys like me had to take her out to dinner, movies, concerts, amusement parks, and walks through the mall so she can 'get to know you' first. Have him pay the bills that she can no longer stomach, cook meals, check homework, and bathe the kids despite working the same hours as she does, only for her to fall fast asleep seconds after the kids go to bed. But it is not about the sex, right?

That line is just a crock of BS...and she knows it...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

SweetAndSour said:


> I stil get that line from my cheating wife, "it wasn't about sex".
> 
> I take it as trickling truth. Why cheating woman use that excuse again and again ?
> 
> For me, even it was true, it doesn't make it any better.


Women tend to want conversation and romance, men tend to want sex, that is why it is hard for men to understand when the woman says that. Men have a relationship to get sex; women have sex to get a relationship. When a man cheats he will tell his wife that he never stopped loving her, and that the A meant nothing to him it was "just sex" The woman can't believe what he says either. In the final analysis there is no good reason to cheat.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

I don't buy this women are into romance thing. I mean yes, women do fall in affair love but so do men. Still there are plenty of cases where all the WW did was hooking up for sex, all their communications were either sexting or arrangements for f*ck dates, and yet they would still claim it wasn't about sex for them.


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## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> You never finished your story SweetAndSour?


Thanks for your interest warlock,

With your encouragement, I finished my story in my own thread.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

SweetAndSour said:


> I cut "myself" loose in many ways, I am with her mostly for the kids.


COME ON, MAN!! I'm sorry, but are your children mentally challenged? If not, how do you think they will view YOU once the wise up and see your sham marriage for what it is?
Do you really want them to think your marriage is how their potential relationships when they get to be adults should be?
:scratchhead:


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## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

hookares said:


> COME ON, MAN!! I'm sorry, but are your children mentally challenged? If not, how do you think they will view YOU once the wise up and see your sham marriage for what it is?
> Do you really want them to think your marriage is how their potential relationships when they get to be adults should be?
> :scratchhead:


There is no easy solution. 

I should add, cutting myself loose does not include me having an affair and her having that freedom.


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

snap said:


> I don't buy this women are into romance thing. I mean yes, women do fall in affair love but so do men. Still there are plenty of cases where all the WW did was hooking up for sex, all their communications were either sexting or arrangements for f*ck dates, and yet they would still claim it wasn't about sex for them.




```

```
Yeah there are definitely situations like that. I'm paraphrasing a MC named DR Frank Pitman. He made an extensive study by questionnaire and that was the finding. Being a woman, I know what my own priorities are and those of other female friends and that is the general consensus for us as well. In A situations men often fall in "love" after the sex part and women fall in "love" before it. There are of course many exceptions.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone (Nov 18, 2011)

oaksthorne said:


> ```
> 
> ```
> Yeah there are definitely situations like that. I'm paraphrasing a MC named DR Frank Pitman. He made an extensive study by questionnaire and that was the finding. Being a woman, I know what my own priorities are and those of other female friends and that is the general consensus for us as well. In A situations men often fall in "love" after the sex part and women fall in "love" before it. There are of course many exceptions.



So in effect they are both just lying to one another ;~) what a great relationship that is ;~)


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## TheMarriageandFamilyClini (Mar 3, 2012)

ummm, as a professional marriage counselor I have to put in my two cents here: The fact is some affairs (even sexual ones) are not about sex. So she may actually be telling you the truth. Often, when spouses come in to me because of an affair and one spouse says this (i.e. "it wasn't about the sex") they usually mean that even though they had sex, the affair was more than just sex. In other words, it meant more emotionally than just sex. 

I also have to add here that when a couple comes to me and one of the spouses says this (i.e. "it wasn't about sex") it means that the couple is in a REALLY bad place and there's a lot of work to do. Basically, the spouse is saying that she was not just looking for sex but was looking for someone to be romantic, intimate and open with. In other words, they were looking for someone to be in love with. 

It sounds like you're only in it for the kids and she probably is too. This isn't a good motivation to stay in a marriage and you're not doing any favors for your kids to see this kind of relationship. Seriously, go see a counselor. Swallow your pride. And make sure she goes with you. Give it a good, heartfelt effort and you may end up being in love again. And you may save all this time you've invested in your marriage so far (and money, too). 

You can find more info about affairs on my blog: The Marriage and Family Clinic

-Aaron 
The Marriage and Family Clinic - Marriage Counseling


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

RWB said:


> It was never about the SEX, it was the attention he gave her that I had not. WTF!
> 
> I asked her "How many times the OM took you to the doctor when sick?", "How many times did he fix you dinner?", "How many Val, Ann, Birthday cards and letters did he send you?", "How many times did he work extra shifts to make sure the bills got payed so you could stay home with the kids?", "How many vacations did he plan and take with you?", "How many, when did he, WHATEVER!".
> 
> ...


could'nt have said it better:iagree:


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## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

working_together said:


> I've always said that it wasn't about the sex for me. We didn't have sex every time we saw each other, it was more of an emotional connection, someone who made me feel appreciated, and listened to me without judgement. Sex was just a by product of emotions gone crazy.
> 
> But, you don't have to believe me.
> 
> I do think there are women who are into it for the thrill, the excitement etc. I also think that if a woman can have sex with her om, then come home and act like nothing, and have sex with her husband....it's pretty darn cold.


I believe and value your opinion working, I followed your story, I wish my wife put the tenth of the brains into our marriage that you put into your reconciliation effort (hope this sentence makes sense).

My wife gave a similar explanation. OK, lets skip the sex,

What is that "Apprecition" thing ? How it is different than being "Appreciated" in a non sexual manner ? What is in that "Appreciation" that makes a married woman to take her undies, open her legs and let another man in when sex is not in her mind ?

Isn't there anything hardcore sexual in those "Emotions" which are going crazy ?

And the last, If being with a new lover, alone in a motel room, on a bed is not enough excitement, what more does it take it to be "Sexually exciting" or "About Sex" 



I hope I am not too harsh


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## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

TheMarriageandFamilyClini said:


> ummm, as a professional marriage counselor I have to put in my two cents here: The fact is some affairs (even sexual ones) are not about sex. So she may actually be telling you the truth. Often, when spouses come in to me because of an affair and one spouse says this (i.e. "it wasn't about the sex") they usually mean that even though they had sex, the affair was more than just sex. In other words, it meant more emotionally than just sex.
> 
> I also have to add here that when a couple comes to me and one of the spouses says this (i.e. "it wasn't about sex") it means that the couple is in a REALLY bad place and there's a lot of work to do. Basically, the spouse is saying that she was not just looking for sex but was looking for someone to be romantic, intimate and open with. In other words, they were looking for someone to be in love with.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the enlightening info. I will check your site. I am on the lookout for a marrige counseler though I think it is too late already.

For the kids, I yet to believe that seperation would be good for them.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I had an emotional affair with kissing and heavy petting...10 years ago on my ex...it wasn't about the sex at all. It was about being seen and validated and appreciated and loved.

All things that my ex couldn't do for me because of his abusive nature.

Doesn't excuse my stupidity. I should have left my ex BEFORE starting anything with my friend...but it didn't work that way.

But we never had intercourse. Ever. It was beyond that. I felt like a human again.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I had an emotional affair with kissing and heavy petting...10 years ago on my ex...it wasn't about the sex at all. It was about being seen and validated and appreciated and loved.
> 
> All things that my ex couldn't do for me because of his abusive nature.
> 
> ...


But that's what we're saying. Couldn't this guy had given you all of those feelings without the physical contact? You could have felt like a human being and went home and kissed your husband. That's what we're getting at; The wives that pretty much only had sex with the OM but say it wasn't about sex. He never took them out, never took care of bills, never worked to support her, just got the goodies and listened. If that's all is required, I can do that and not handle any of my other responsibilities. Seems easy enough.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> But that's what we're saying. Couldn't this guy had given you all of those feelings without the physical contact? You could have felt like a human being and went home and kissed your husband. That's what we're getting at; The wives that pretty much only had sex with the OM but say it wasn't about sex. He never took them out, never took care of bills, never worked to support her, just got the goodies and listened. If that's all is required, I can do that and not handle any of my other responsibilities. Seems easy enough.


My ex wasn't my husband. Never wanted to marry me. Just wanted me to live with him to cook and take care of our child. He wouldn't have sex with me, but went out every night while I 'babysat'  Lord knows what he was up to. lol.

My OM took me out...we were friends before anything happened. I did leave my ex for reasons between he and I and for the OM. I don't regret it but I do wish I was mature enough at that time to just have left before anything happened. I wanted to leave for a while.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SweetAndSour said:


> I stil get that line from my cheating wife, "it wasn't about sex".
> 
> I take it as trickling truth. Why cheating woman use that excuse again and again ?
> 
> For me, even it was true, it doesn't make it any better.


Men use that line often as well. I've heard it too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I had an emotional affair with kissing and heavy petting...10 years ago on my ex...it wasn't about the sex at all. It was about being seen and validated and appreciated and loved.
> 
> All things that my ex couldn't do for me because of his abusive nature.
> 
> ...


That's what I need... hm


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

feeling more elephant than girl?


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

that_girl said:


> My ex wasn't my husband. Never wanted to marry me. Just wanted me to live with him to cook and take care of our child. He wouldn't have sex with me, but went out every night while I 'babysat'  Lord knows what he was up to. lol.
> 
> My OM took me out...we were friends before anything happened. I did leave my ex for reasons between he and I and for the OM. I don't regret it but I do wish I was mature enough at that time to just have left before anything happened. I wanted to leave for a while.


Well, you my friend, are the exception. Lol. OM did the ground work, and won you. I guess you can say, that's different. Doesn't make it right, but...


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## skip76 (Aug 30, 2011)

I look at it like this. Cheaters are sh1tty people. We should not waste our time trying to figure it out. This is not some math formula with an absolute answer. Feelings, emotions, Quality time, Not enough sex, these are just excuses. Everygood quality can be made out to be a bad one and vice versa. A nice compassionate man is a doormat, a dominant sexually arousing man is abusive, and so on. One has to move on and not accept this behavior, you teach others how to treat you. How about the emotional needs everyone talks about. of course the most important ones are always the ones not being met. well duh that is because the others are being met so it is only realized what is missing. Look at how many wives leave their wel off husbands for some loser only to realize how improtant the finacial stability really was. I boil evrything down to one word, and i say it in almost every post i make, CONSEQUENCES. How some people can do this sort of thing everyday for years without thinking about the consequences to their marriage and family is beyond me. I mean there had to be some time before you took your pants off where you really thought about this long and hard no? makes no sense to me. in my mind all this feminism and political correctness is to blame. Everyone gets trophies, no one is a loser, don't shame a ****, etc. Thus no consequences. It ain't working. Here is another one, everyone is created equal, HUH? No one is created equal. i am smarter than others, dumber than yet others, more faithful than others etc. we need to get away from this and embrace our differences. Everybody is unique, some cheat some don't. I do have one credo i follow, that is believe actions over words. I would not believe a word she says, if they were having sex all the time, it was about the sex, end of discussion.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Cheaters are sh1tth people and some mates are sh1tty people.

Every situation is different. My mate wasn't a good man or a good partner. I didn't get treated well at home and just decide to hang out with someone else and leave. Then again, we weren't married. He said he'd never get married because he couldn't be faithful...but yet wanted me to be faithful LOL Idiot. I didn't leave for sex. I left to feel alive again. So I retaught him how to treat me. You think he still screams in my face or calls me names or cuts me down? Hellllls no! 

Cheating is wrong. Yes. But every situation is different.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

movin on said:


> You don't recover from that.its as heartless as one could be.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Find Jesus

She will have to answer for what she has done she is corrupted beyond belief its unlikely she will ever find jesus. These type of people rarely do. 

You are a good person (i imagine) so i wish you the best. This life on earth is nothing compared to the life on eternity. However there are two sides you can end up on after you die. The path to heaven is a narrow one the gate is narrow and few pass through its gates. You can pretty much say almost all people who ever lived will not make it through the gates this is predicted and is likely true.

Cheers


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Cheaters are sh1tth people and some mates are sh1tty people.
> 
> Every situation is different. My mate wasn't a good man or a good partner. I didn't get treated well at home and just decide to hang out with someone else and leave. Then again, we weren't married. He said he'd never get married because he couldn't be faithful...but yet wanted me to be faithful LOL Idiot. I didn't leave for sex. I left to feel alive again. So I retaught him how to treat me. You think he still screams in my face or calls me names or cuts me down? Hellllls no!
> 
> Cheating is wrong. Yes. But every situation is different.


Please explain your situation if you dont mind i am confused from your post. So you had a boyfriend and he cheated on you and cheated back?


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

skip76 said:


> I look at it like this. Cheaters are sh1tty people. We should not waste our time trying to figure it out. This is not some math formula with an absolute answer. Feelings, emotions, Quality time, Not enough sex, these are just excuses. Everygood quality can be made out to be a bad one and vice versa. A nice compassionate man is a doormat, a dominant sexually arousing man is abusive, and so on. One has to move on and not accept this behavior, you teach others how to treat you. How about the emotional needs everyone talks about. of course the most important ones are always the ones not being met. well duh that is because the others are being met so it is only realized what is missing. Look at how many wives leave their wel off husbands for some loser only to realize how improtant the finacial stability really was. I boil evrything down to one word, and i say it in almost every post i make, CONSEQUENCES. How some people can do this sort of thing everyday for years without thinking about the consequences to their marriage and family is beyond me. I mean there had to be some time before you took your pants off where you really thought about this long and hard no? makes no sense to me. in my mind all this feminism and political correctness is to blame. Everyone gets trophies, no one is a loser, don't shame a ****, etc. Thus no consequences. It ain't working. Here is another one, everyone is created equal, HUH? No one is created equal. i am smarter than others, dumber than yet others, more faithful than others etc. we need to get away from this and embrace our differences. Everybody is unique, some cheat some don't. I do have one credo i follow, that is believe actions over words. I would not believe a word she says, if they were having sex all the time, it was about the sex, end of discussion.


I agree anyone with a BRAIN can see what you said is true. Than again the world is filled with sick people and those who live their life wrongly (IMO) they refuse to see logic and are truly sad people. Its a sick sad world sad but its true.


The only time you can ever justify Cheating (imo) is

A) you are forced into a marriage against your will and basically a prisoner you cannot divorce and are forced and say you run off with someone else to be free and escape your prison life. (been done before in movies)


B)You are abused beyond belief in your marriage you can legally divorce but you are emotionally weak and physically say abused. You cheat and run off with someone else to be free



Any other reason is not justified i don't care if they cheated on you 10times or they arent there for you emotionally. You put yourself in this failed marriage so own up or change it. People who are forced however into marriages been the case with woman in the past and even today their case is different as they are prisoners and what are they supposed to do?... That is entirely different from someone cheating for BS reasons like "you werent there for me"


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