# Wife and antidepressants



## Blockhead (Jan 21, 2015)

My wife has been on 20mg of prozac daily for about 15 years. She suffered from depression in her teenage years. I feel like it's time that she thinks about either weaning herself off of them or changing types. Of course the side affect are horrible, no libido, weight gain ect. Lately he has been doing a lot of work on herself, as far as exercising and trying to get in shape. She always complains that she has a hard time losing the weight. In my opinion it it partely due to the Prozac. I know that when I talk to her about it she will think that all its just because I want to have sex with her more often. That's true but I want her to lose the weight. She suffers from low self esteem and losing the weight is a good way to boost that. What do you all think the best way for me to approach this subject is, as I will probably be met with resistance from her?


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

IMO the choice about meds is between her and her Dr. You can ask that she talk to her Dr about the side effects of her meds and see what they suggest but I'd stay away from any weight conversation about it.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Does she want to lose weight? Do you ever talk about that?


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## Blockhead (Jan 21, 2015)

We talk about losing weight all the time. I actually have joined her in working out, to help her out, boost her self confidence ect. Plus it's good quality time together. But I don't think she realizes the side affect of Prozac. Personally I don't think she needs it anymore but that is not my decision. She is comfortable taking it everyday and if somebody dosent say something she will continue to take it and not get the result she has been striving for in my opinion.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Doctors prescribed depression pills during teenage years? How ****in sad and ridicules.......I'm sorry.

Most teens have pretty long cycles of depression, I thought this was natural/normal.

Has she tried going off of them to see how it goes? I would, that stuff is powerful and messes with your brain chemistry. It should be ONLY reserved as last resort after the doctor recommend proper diet and exercise/physical activity.

Here is what she needs to do:
- physical activity GALORE. Walks (2-3 miles) daily, exercises.....or sports.
- eat healthy food AND most importantly, eat SMALL portion (remember, you can eat the healthiest food in the world, but if your portion is off....IT'S NOT HEALTHY).

Good luck, I would try to get her off the pills and hope she is not one of those that really REALLY needs it.

Physical activity and proper diet will do WONDERS for her state of mind/depression BY DEFAULT.


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## Roland (Jan 22, 2015)

I know what you are going through my friend. I went through this same thing with my wife. She has tried several different depression meds and she hound a combination of a couple different ones which work the best. When discussing changing meds, avoid the weight and libido issues and focus on getting her to feel better about herself. Any mention of those by you will affect her self esteem. If she brings up those points, you have to be careful. In my situation, I reinforced the fact that I love her no matter what.

I found the best way to support my wife's weight loss was to join her in dieting and exercise. I'm a 47 year old white male with high cholesterol, an ex smoker of 30 years, and overweight. In other words, I am a ticking time bomb lol! ANyway, my point is when my wife saw that I was supporting her by joning her in healthy eating and such, it gave her the push to exercise too, in six months she lost 70 lbs and I lost 25. The more weight she lost, the better she felt about herself and the less her fibromyalgia bothered her. I complimented her on her weight loss and looks which boosted her libido. It was fantastic to see her come out of her shell and become the 23 year old girl I married 17 years ago (I always see that girl in her when I look at her).

It is shocking what depression can do to a person when left untreated. My wife went from being an active person to seldom getting out of bed. This is a very vibrant, intelligent woman with 2 masters degrees and who worked as an ICU nurse for nearly 15 years. Depression nearly took her away from me. 

IN a nutshell, be supportive and tell her you love her no matter what every day. Talk to her doctor with her and express the concerns that you both have together regarding side effects. There are antidepressants which increase libido as a side effect (Welbutrin is one). It might take some time to figure out the right meds and it might get rough. Obviously you love her but don't forget to tell her that. You'll make it through this.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

That is a long time to be on Prozac, but I wouldn't necessarily say she doesn't need them anymore. I've been on and off Zoloft several times in the last 5 or so years, and the mistake I've made is going off it because I think I no longer need it....but the reason I thought I didn't need it was because it was working and I felt better lol. When I go off it, I realize that, um, I need it. 

But, has she EVER tried to go off it?? When you're in a discussion about weight (yours and hers), maybe gently suggest trying to taper off it (slowly!) and see if it helps with the weight loss any? (I do believe some of these meds make you gain weight). Then, if it works to help her lose weight, but she still feels like she needs an anti depressant, perhaps she can try something else. I have family members on Lexapro and I do think it makes them gain weight. I'm on Zoloft and it does not have that effect. That's not to say I don't need to lose some weight, because I do want to lose about 20 pounds, but I don't blame it on the Zoloft.


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## Blockhead (Jan 21, 2015)

Thanks for the responses. My wife went off Prozac when she was pregnant with our first child. She didnt act depressed. She wasn't moping around the house. She was more short tempered but that could have been .because she was pregnant and the hormones were doing the talking. The second she had the baby, she went right back on them. Maybe she thinks it's some kind of security blanket.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Blockhead said:


> Thanks for the responses. My wife went off Prozac when she was pregnant with our first child. She didnt act depressed. She wasn't moping around the house. She was more short tempered but that could have been .because she was pregnant and the hormones were doing the talking. The second she had the baby, she went right back on them. Maybe she thinks it's some kind of security blanket.


Yes, it sounds like it.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> That is a long time to be on Prozac, but I wouldn't necessarily say she doesn't need them anymore. I've been on and off Zoloft several times in the last 5 or so years, and the mistake I've made is going off it because I think I no longer need it....but the reason I thought I didn't need it was because it was working and I felt better lol. When I go off it, I realize that, um, I need it.


How did you know if it was dependency to drug vs depression.

Also, I'm not really sure if there is a risk to try to stop for some time to see how you feel (you always have a choice to go back).



SecondTime'Round said:


> But, has she EVER tried to go off it?? When you're in a discussion about weight (yours and hers), maybe gently suggest trying to taper off it (slowly!) and see if it helps with the weight loss any? (I do believe some of these meds make you gain weight). Then, if it works to help her lose weight, but she still feels like she needs an anti depressant, perhaps she can try something else. I have family members on Lexapro and I do think it makes them gain weight. I'm on Zoloft and it does not have that effect. That's not to say I don't need to lose some weight, because I do want to lose about 20 pounds, but I don't blame it on the Zoloft.


Drugs don't make you gain or lose weight, FOOD does.

I agree about tapering off to see.

As for weight, do more physical activity (as much as you can) and eat healthy/small portion. This is THE ONLY formula to losing weight.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Yes, it sounds like it.


Agreed

Regardless, these pills are HIGH RISK to your health and mental state. 

It should be LAST resort sort of a thing after physical activity and healthy diet.

ANY doctor that give you these pills without recommending above is a crock, I'm sorry.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

DoF said:


> How did you know if it was dependency to drug vs depression.
> 
> Also, I'm not really sure if there is a risk to try to stop for some time to see how you feel (you always have a choice to go back).
> 
> ...


Oh I agree! I know how to lose weight . I don't use anti depressants as any kind of excuse. As far as me going off them and then back on....I highly doubt it would be an issue of drug dependency for me. I detest taking them, but I'm not fun to be around when I'm not on them. It doesn't happen right away, but after a few months, the same behaviors start to creep back up and I know I need to be on them. For me, it is not depression, but anxiety. 

I agree that a doctor should be working with the patient in other ways like suggesting exercise, etc., and not wanting patients to be on them long term. This describes my doctor, but I've also had a near breakdown right in front of him due to my anxiety over a typical life situation (nerves about new job) that he clearly sees my need for them. He witnessed it.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
antidepressants have all sorts of serious mental and physical side-effects. I think they are valuable for people with what I would call "irrational depression": people who are unhappy / depressed despite their lives being in a situation where they should be happy. 

Unfortunately they are also prescribed for "rational depression", people who are unhappy because of a life situation. For that, very short term use may be OK, but longer term I think they are inappropriate.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Oh I agree! I know how to lose weight . I don't use anti depressants as any kind of excuse. As far as me going off them and then back on....I highly doubt it would be an issue of drug dependency for me. I detest taking them, but I'm not fun to be around when I'm not on them. It doesn't happen right away, but after a few months, the same behaviors start to creep back up and I know I need to be on them. For me, it is not depression, but anxiety.


I understand and I'm sorry to hear. Sounds like you need these and I'm glad they help!



SecondTime'Round said:


> I agree that a doctor should be working with the patient in other ways like suggesting exercise, etc., and not wanting patients to be on them long term. This describes my doctor, but I've also had a near breakdown right in front of him due to my anxiety over a typical life situation (nerves about new job) that he clearly sees my need for them. He witnessed it.


Unfortunately, Doctors are IN BUSINESS TO PROFIT....and good/sound recommendations don't make them any money.

Have you tried tricking your brain and exercising Mind/Mental Control? 

I've been in your shoes too, and just recently started practicing mind diversion/control and it has done wonders to my mental/worry/fear etc states.

You would be surprised how powerful our minds are and natural capabilities we have.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> antidepressants have all sorts of serious mental and physical side-effects. I think they are valuable for people with what I would call "irrational depression": people who are unhappy / depressed despite their lives being in a situation where they should be happy.
> 
> Unfortunately they are also prescribed for "rational depression", people who are unhappy because of a life situation. For that, very short term use may be OK, but longer term I think they are inappropriate.


Agreed

There is no Pill in this world that will fix "****ty life situation". The best thing to do is to accept it and deal with it, vs being down or letting it bring you down.

Gotta remain optimistic and positive. In general, our fears are JUST THAT.....and never really capitalize or become true.

We have natural human ability to make things work and go on regardless of the situation.

I always like to think back to WW2 and Jewish people in concentration camps. Even in the worst of the worst situations one can be in, many of these people kept going and remained optimistic/hopeful.....it's insane how they can possibly do that, but they did.

And when you think about above, ANY problem you might have will look like "pesky/silly crap".....

It's all about perspective.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

DoF said:


> I understand and I'm sorry to hear. Sounds like you need these and I'm glad they help!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm actually in counseling for my anxiety, and we are going to be working through stuff just like this. For now I'm trying to remember to do deep breathing a few times a day. We're going to be getting more into ways for me to manage, but scheduling has been tough lately due to illness and snow days! 

To the poster who wrote about irrational/rational, I could not agree more. I refer to it as clinical vs. situational, but we mean the same thing. I've have always refused to go on medication if my anxiety or depression was related to a life issue...if there was a reason for my depression. But if everything in your life is going just fine and you're having ridiculous reactions/anxiety/depression to things that would not cause the typical person to feel that way, and you can at least see this in yourself and haven't been able to overcome it, medication can and does help.


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## Blockhead (Jan 21, 2015)

We are going to change doctors for insurance reasons. I am wondering if I should bring this up to our doctor. But yet I don't want to do it behind her back. By the way, I have talked to her about changing meds before and she said she would talk to him at her appt witch was just a day away. I aske her later whT he said and she didn't even bring the subject up. She felt too uncomfortable talking about it to him.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

That's a shame she doesn't feel comfortable talking to her dr. about it . Do you think if she saw a doctor with a different personality she would?


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## Blockhead (Jan 21, 2015)

I don't know if she would talk to a different doctor or not. That's why I'm wondering if I should bring it up when I go, just to break the Ice so to speak. I really think she may be ashamed to be on them. To me she has nothing to be ashamed about. But my opinion really dosent matter I guess. It's all about what other people will think about her...namely her doctor. But as we all know doctors are there to help us, not judge us.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Blockhead said:


> I don't know if she would talk to a different doctor or not. That's why I'm wondering if I should bring it up when I go, just to break the Ice so to speak. I really think she may be ashamed to be on them. To me she has nothing to be ashamed about. But my opinion really dosent matter I guess. It's all about what other people will think about her...namely her doctor. But as we all know doctors are there to help us, not judge us.


Who is prescribing the meds? Her doctor already knows she's on them, right? IMO, the dr. should be specifically asking about that every single time he sees her.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

I was on Prosac for just a short time and gained 15 pounds and I am not a heavy person or someone that yoyos in great numbers. Suggesting she get off them is good, real good but after 15 year on them she might resist. Prozac makes you numb. I have a good friend on Prozac right now and she too cannot lose the weight but is afraid to get off.

There are other anti-depressants that have the opposite effect...curb the appetite and give you lots of energy but these can lead to insomnia. 

I would encourage your wife to look at other options for her health care, whether that would be getting off and trying to manage on her own or using a different ant-depressant.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I'm actually in counseling for my anxiety, and we are going to be working through stuff just like this. For now I'm trying to remember to do deep breathing a few times a day. We're going to be getting more into ways for me to manage, but scheduling has been tough lately due to illness and snow days!
> 
> To the poster who wrote about irrational/rational, I could not agree more. I refer to it as clinical vs. situational, but we mean the same thing. I've have always refused to go on medication if my anxiety or depression was related to a life issue...if there was a reason for my depression. But if everything in your life is going just fine and you're having ridiculous reactions/anxiety/depression to things that would not cause the typical person to feel that way, and you can at least see this in yourself and haven't been able to overcome it, medication can and does help.


I'll be honest with you, and I think this is completely natural. THere are days when EVERYTHING is going fine, and I just feel down for "whatever" reason. No explanation or cause.

It's normal I thought.

Life is a roller coaster, full of ups and downs. To me that is completely natural/normal.

Sometimes we just feel ****ty for no reason at all....


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Blockhead said:


> We are going to change doctors for insurance reasons. I am wondering if I should bring this up to our doctor. But yet I don't want to do it behind her back. By the way, I have talked to her about changing meds before and she said she would talk to him at her appt witch was just a day away. I aske her later whT he said and she didn't even bring the subject up. She felt too uncomfortable talking about it to him.


That is NOT good AT ALL.


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## BurningHeart (Dec 30, 2012)

I'm about as anti medicine as you can get, unless it's "really" necessary with no side effects, which is mostly zero. Drugs don't solve problems, they just try and trick your brain into thinking they don't exist. It's better if you battle on your own. Depression happens when the negative thinking overpowers the positive thinking, so you need to reverse that. I've battled depression over the years with no meds, even though the doctors tried to push them on me, but it comes down to positive thinking and feeling good about yourself.
Diets are a major cause. Eating healthy will supercharge your entire body and mind and you will want to exercise & in return, you will lose weight and feel better.
I'm not going to rag on doctors, because they are necessary, but if they told you to eat certain foods, instead of taking their meds, they actually risk losing their license, the same with suggesting "natural" remedies. I know this for a fact. Drug companies don't get any compensation for apples and oranges. Sorry for the pill rant. My nephew has been on anxiety and depression meds for several years, tried suicide twice and is generally emotionless. All the doctors do is adjust and change meds. He is barely recognizable from a few years ago. It is a tragedy. He went from 112 lbs to over 200.


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## lovesmanis (Oct 9, 2014)

Blockhead said:


> Thanks for the responses. My wife went off Prozac when she was pregnant with our first child. She didnt act depressed. She wasn't moping around the house. She was more short tempered but that could have been .because she was pregnant and the hormones were doing the talking. The second she had the baby, she went right back on them. Maybe she thinks it's some kind of security blanket.




It was not a security blanket.
When women are pregnant, their hormones take over and it changes their temperament.

I suffer from long term depression and the only time i was never depressed was when i was pregnant.

If she needs them then she needs them.

For the posters that said that the meds do bot cause weight gain and that food does... Are you a doctor or a scientist? Do you know what the effects of these medications are? No.

Many antidepressants are proven scientifically to cause weight gain so stop spewing off crap that you know nothing about.


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## Blockhead (Jan 21, 2015)

Thank you for all your responses. There is clearly too sides to this issue. Either meds are good, or meds are bad. Interesting reading everybody opinion. A little more info on her. She hates change. She has a set routine everyday. She is like a robot. If I try to "rock the boat" , or introduce pretty much anything different in her life, I am usually met with resistance. It pretty much sucks. My point is, I believe it's the Prozac that plays a big part in this. My question to you all is should I try and talk to our doctor about her, or will that just do damage to our relationship? What are your thoughts.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Even if you talk to the Dr, nothing can be done unless she does. I think it would be better to go with her. If she gets there and can't say anything, you jump in. Does she have anxiety as well? 

I think there is a lot of confusion about depression.. There's a lot more to it than feeling sad. I don't feel sad or mope around when my depression is untreated. People can feel just empty or overwhelmed, angry, not being able to make decisions. You can get actual physical pain. While at the Dr, ask them to explain the symptoms of depression and what to watch for if she changes or stops meds.


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## BurningHeart (Dec 30, 2012)

Personally, it has to remain her decision. I think if you found out that the Prozac is mostly responsible and the doctor had different advice or direction to go and she refused, you would end up with ill feelings toward her and rightfully so. She has to be the one to want to risk leaving her "routine or comfort zone" to try and make things better. Sadly a lot of people make up their minds that if one thing doesn't work, they're done, they tried and tell you to just deal with it.
I really think she would have to be the one to discuss options with the doctor, because she has to want the change.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I am another one in the anti-drug camp unless one has a serious mental illness like schizophrenia, borderline, or is bipolar. I think short term use is appropriate for profound depression, grief, etc.

Run-of-the-mill depression can be dealt with much more effectively through proper healthy diet, plenty of exercise and fresh air, interesting hobbies, and improving life circumstances. For example, hate your job or career? Find a new one that makes you happy. Hate where you live? Move. Negative people in your life? Get rid of them and find new friends. Chunking Prozac daily doesn't change any of this, just dulls you out.

One piece of advice. Please DO NOT let the new doctor put her on any of the class of drugs known as benzodiazepines for *long term* use -- this includes Klonopin, Ativan, Xanax, Librium, etc. You want to talk about a nightmare class of drugs with hellish withdrawal symptoms? These drugs are nearly impossible to come off of and truly alter your brain chemistry. (They are meant to be used for 14 days or less but doctors prescribe them all wrong.) Do a Google search for "benzodiazepine withdrawal" and you will see thousands upon thousands of stories of patients whose lives have been ruined.

I think you should go with her to her first appointment with her new doctor and the two of you should bring it up together.


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## BurningHeart (Dec 30, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> I am another one in the anti-drug camp unless one has a serious mental illness like schizophrenia, borderline, or is bipolar. I think short term use is appropriate for profound depression, grief, etc.
> 
> Run-of-the-mill depression can be dealt with much more effectively through proper healthy diet, plenty of exercise and fresh air, interesting hobbies, and improving life circumstances. For example, hate your job or career? Find a new one that makes you happy. Hate where you live? Move. Negative people in your life? Get rid of them and find new friends. Chunking Prozac daily doesn't change any of this, just dulls you out.
> 
> ...


I've heard the same things about Xanax. Sadly, doctors usually just go along with what the patient wants, regardless of the outcome. Selling drugs is their business, treating not curing.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

BurningHeart said:


> I've heard the same things about Xanax. Sadly, doctors usually just go along with what the patient wants, regardless of the outcome. Selling drugs is their business, treating not curing.


This is what a lot of people forget.

When you go to a doctor, it's no different than going to a car dealer, or for oil change or a store.

They are IN BUSINESS to make money.

YOU being healthy is not what makes them money.

I have a HUGE moral dilemma with this. If you go around the world most doctors are just your average people, FAR FAR FAR from rich (or even well off)


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