# Hubby with foot fetish lies about his online habbitts



## Helpplease2013

Married for 16 years with kids I have found fake profiles hubby has set up online and know he is watching video clips of footplay – ladies wriggling their toes ect. I don’t have an issue with this, I have an issue with him hiding it and lying about it to me and telling me I am mad and paranoid if I ask him about it!
I have discovered he has fake profiles on facebook, utube and skype, which makes me wonder if he is having an online affair or sexy chat with these ladies. Meanwhile I go to bed alone or am ignored in bed whilst he is online doing what ever on his phone??? I always have to initiate sex and always am willing to fulfil his desires. All this is driving me crazy I really don’t know what to do can anyone out there help?


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## trey69

Maybe he is lying about the foot fetish because hes embarrasssed, hard to say for sure. As far as fake profiles on FB, Skype etc, I'm not sure what that is all about unless he is looking to hook up. These profiles you have seen, whats his info, does it say he is single? Does he have pictures up? On his Skype can you see if he has added anyone like women etc to skype with?


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## Helpplease2013

Why be embarrassed about what I know about all ready, he ignores my feet unless I make him pay attention, and have tried various approaches including asking him what he want likes ect.

his FB says he is married he has loads of friends and followers, the are photos 0f my feet and another of a female in front of a willy that I am sure is his; it could be me its very dark so I cant tell plus I dont recognise the surroundings which is odd. He works away sometimes and there was a post saying he was in a particular place asking if any ones feet needed licking... thepost has now been removed.

As for skype I cant tell because I would have to request to connect with him.

On utube he just watches wiggly toes sweaty feet ect


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## trey69

Helpplease2013 said:


> Why be embarrassed about what I know about all ready,
> 
> He works away sometimes and there was a post saying he was in a particular place asking if any ones feet needed licking... thepost has now been removed.


Hard to say if he is embarrassed for sure, it was just a thought. You would be surprised at how many people still hide or lie things that another person may know about. 

As far as the FB status about anyone needing their feet licked, looks like he is looking. Time for boundaries and consequences, if he can't follow them, then you will need to decide if this is how you want to spend your life or not.


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## CallaLily

Maybe, create yourself a fake FB account, and send him a message, saying you heard he was into licking feet, or ask him some questions along those lines, and see if he bites. Then you may know a little better what he is doing exactly. Just a thought.


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## thunderstruck

If nothing else, he's fishing...

If you haven't already done this, you need to sit him down and have a calm conversation. No threats. No yelling. Clearly state your boundaries with no long explanations. Give this some thought...what are your consequences if he steps over your boundary? Are you willing to walk if he keeps this up?


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## gman95901

I don't know that I buy the 'he's embarrassed' about it theory. Posting Facebook pictures of a spouses feet are hardly what I would consider embarrassed. The only possibility is that he is looking for something specific with feet that perhaps he is reluctant to talk about. But what from what we can gather thus far, you have been very accommodating. With this type of partialism, specifics are very important. The predilection for feet is sometimes very specific in terms of nail polish color, the type of shoes/hosiery, or the type of sexual activity in the bedroom. But if you have made an effort to address these, then he may be looking for something else...


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## southern wife

Helpplease2013 said:


> Married for 16 years with kids I have found fake profiles hubby has set up online and know he is watching video clips of footplay – ladies wriggling their toes ect. I don’t have an issue with this, I have an issue with him hiding it and lying about it to me and telling me I am mad and paranoid if I ask him about it!
> I have discovered he has fake profiles on facebook, utube and skype, which makes me wonder if he is having an online affair or sexy chat with these ladies. Meanwhile I go to bed alone or am ignored in bed whilst he is online doing what ever on his phone??? I always have to initiate sex and always am willing to fulfil his desires. All this is driving me crazy I really don’t know what to do can anyone out there help?


Why not wiggle your toes in his face? See what happens then.


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## Helpplease2013

Thank you to all who have commented its really appreciated!
Had a chat with him and amfeeling so much better, we will work on it.


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## trey69

Helpplease2013 said:


> Thank you to all who have commented its really appreciated!
> Had a chat with him and amfeeling so much better, we will work on it.


What did he say that made you feel better about things? I'm glad you are feeling better though.


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## Wing Man

I have a foot fetish for certain kinds of feet doing certain kinds of sexual things, and my wife's feet are cute but not when she lets them go all to hell and look grungy and unkept. And when I tried talking to her about this she always responds with "you didn't marry my feet you married me", and so that's when I start checking out the sexy feet of other women doing sexy things online.


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## notmarriedyet

Wing Man said:


> I have a foot fetish for certain kinds of feet doing certain kinds of sexual things, and my wife's feet are cute but not when she lets them go all to hell and look grungy and unkept. And when I tried talking to her about this she always responds with "you didn't marry my feet you married me", and so that's when I start checking out the sexy feet of other women doing sexy things online.


Are you honest with your wife about checking out other people and why/when you do it / what "makes you" do it?


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## Wing Man

notmarriedyet said:


> Are you honest with your wife about checking out other people and why/when you do it / what "makes you" do it?


My wife would flip her lid if she knew I was checking out some porn online, but hey if she wanted to and didn't tell me I'd have no problem with it. I just want _something_ to help get that woman in the mood because lord knows I've tried many times.


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## notmarriedyet

Wing Man said:


> My wife would flip her lid if she knew I was checking out some porn online, but hey if she wanted to and didn't tell me I'd have no problem with it. I just want _something_ to help get that woman in the mood because lord knows I've tried many times.


Why do you do it if you know she'd flip her lid? 

Just because you don't care if she did the same and you never knew about it, maybe she doesn't do it because she is showing you the same (I guess the word I am looking for would be 'respect'), and doesn't want you to flip your lid by doing something behind your back that she wouldn't appreciate you doing behind her back. 

Do you think she would take care of her feet differently if she knew you sought your fetish from outside sources because of her unkempt feet? 

I'm not trying to sound like an a-hole. I am truly curious! So please don't take it that way. I truly apologize if you did.


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## Wing Man

notmarriedyet said:


> Why do you do it if you know she'd flip her lid?
> 
> Just because you don't care if she did the same and you never knew about it, maybe she doesn't do it because she is showing you the same (I guess the word I am looking for would be 'respect'), and doesn't want you to flip your lid by doing something behind your back that she wouldn't appreciate you doing behind her back.
> 
> Do you think she would take care of her feet differently if she knew you sought your fetish from outside sources because of her unkempt feet?
> 
> I'm not trying to sound like an a-hole. I am truly curious! So please don't take it that way. I truly apologize if you did.


I enjoy porn and always have, but when I've been in relationships or a marriage where the sex was good and steady I kind of forget all about watching it. For instance my ex knew I had a fetish for her feet so she always kept them trimmed up and painted in my favorite color, and in return it kept me aroused and interested and she got lots of deep foot massages(which turned her on)and as a result the sex was good. But as I have already stated my current wife does not care about all of that and the sex life is not good, so this has caused me to find other means of stimulation which means - back to watching porn.


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## notmarriedyet

Wing Man said:


> I enjoy porn and always have, but when I've been in relationships or a marriage where the sex was good and steady I kind of forget all about watching it. For instance my ex knew I had a fetish for her feet so she always kept them trimmed up and painted in my favorite color, and in return it kept me aroused and interested and she got lots of deep foot massages(which turned her on)and as a result the sex was good. But as I have already stated my current wife does not care about all of that and the sex life is not good, so this has caused me to find other means of stimulation which means - back to watching porn.


In that case, I'm sorry. You couldn't be more clear as to what you want/need/like. I think its admirable that you let her know and share with her your fetish/desire. 

I wish mine would tell me he wants x, y, and z. It would be all his. But he doesn't seem to be interested in much other than porn.


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## Helpplease2013

Hi every one i thought I would update you all on my situation.

After a lot of talking (not shouting) hubby admitted his account on Facebook he has let me have access to it I have read messages ect with his permission and am really unhappy about the compliment and conversations he has with these women it has blown my trust out of the water. He says he wont do it any more but I simply dont believe him because I have known for over a year he was up to something and had to go to ridiculous measures to uncover his deceit. I have set up an account on Facebook which I did to try to trap him but decided that was the wrong thing to do so came clean and told him. My reason for carrying it on is to try to understand his fetish more because he is very difficult to talk to sometimes he has real problems with voicing his emotions and desires all probably because he doesn't want to hurt me! Another is that i was once told I had horrid feet so am paranoid they are ugly soI thought I would see what people who are into feet thought and they seem to quite like them so thats good. I have the same rules as hubby as in no chat, we can send private messages to others but no long drawn out conversations.

I am trying to forgive the lies but am struggling to put it all in place because it hurts so much; I would appreciateyour thoughts and comments


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## Jamison

Helpplease2013 said:


> he has real problems with voicing his emotions and desires all probably because he doesn't want to hurt me!


But he IS hurting you, by his actions. I'm really not sure what to tell you other than recommending MC. If he wont go, maybe you could to get some help on this issue. In the end if he is still doing this behavior, you will need to decide if you want to continue being hurt for the rest of your life or not. The ball is really in your court on what to do.


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## Helpplease2013

That is true; its not that he wont go to counselling its that he is reluctant as am I; I think it will make him even more reluctant to talk to me if I bring someone else into our relationship; even though he brought in his 200 odd Facebook friends into it (trying to keep my humour). the cost of counselling is an issue as well!


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## Jamison

Helpplease2013 said:


> That is true; its not that he wont go to counselling its that he is reluctant as am I; I think it will make him even more reluctant to talk to me if I bring someone else into our relationship; even though he brought in his 200 odd Facebook friends into it (trying to keep my humour). the cost of counselling is an issue as well!


Then you may have to go on your gut instinct and do what you feel you need to do. IMO, it seems he is looking for something that maybe you can not fulfill. If its a void or a need he is looking to fulfill, then he might stop for a while only to return to it later.


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## Maneo

Get counseling. Preferably together but alone if he refuses. Quit making excuses if the relationship is worth saving, cost should be secondary and a counselor is not like inviting a friend into the bedroom.


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## Helpplease2013

Thank you for your comments we will get some help and work it out of that I am sure; things are much better .


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