# How to take...



## Ender (Mar 25, 2009)

Recently walked into a conversation my wife was having with her friend. Apparently they were talking about their sex lives, when i heard my wife say, "it's just like another chore, one more thing i feel i have to do.". How does a person not take this as an insult? When i confronted her about it, she just got defensive and tried to play it off as a joke. We've been married for 10 years now. We use to go at it like rabbits. But in the last 3 years it's declined drastically. No foreplay at all, if i try to initiate it she stops me. If i try to talk to her about it, all she says is, "i'm sure there are other guys out there having it a lot worse than you". just seems like the passion is gone anymore.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

My wife for awhile used an excuse similar to your wife's the "its not like you are deprived".

Now, my wife and I never got worse than once a week, but with my drive once a week isn't enough, not even close.

So when I would breech the subject she would get defensive like yours and say "its not like you are deprived".

Your wife is disconnected from you emotionally is my guess and so the sex isn't "passionate" for her. Its not that you aren't good in bed, its that for a woman the emotional connection is needed.

When I realized this for my wife and I worked hard on meeting her emotional needs we went right back to doing it like rabbits (5+ times a week) and she turned 30 right around that time and she got a lot more kinky too.

What I'm getting at is try fixing some things that maybe you do wrong or doing some things to meet her emotional needs and I bet she will start meeting your physical needs much more.

However, you are right, no man wants to hear their wife say sex is a "chore", that's devastating to a man's ego.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

I have had my H say to me 3 times in the last yr, that things dont have to progress anymore, because we have been together so long.
this has been very upsetting, since i am very sexually active. its like not feeling wanted. 
i kept doing my best, but the majority of stuff in sex came from my end.
i suppose this amongst many other things has contributed to me deciding , i just dont want him anymore.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i cry BS on the emotional thing. i will never never never understand why women use that lame excuse, they like sex as much or maybe more then men. unfortunately they like control even more, and sex is one thing they can control. sorry if i sound bitter, i am


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

i think when women withhold sex for control they are just cheating themselves also. my question was always this...why would anyone from anywhere not want an orgasm? or just not want to enjoy sex? how can you pass that up?
i cant..i mean i dont cheat on my wife or anything but even if we fight she has never told me no to sex...unless of course she is tired and we have been married for 8 years and i can tell when she is lying or not...and she has never lied to me. that i know of. she never has treated me like she was doing me a favor or acting like it was a chore to have sex with me...and i love her for making me feel like the most important part in her life besides the kids of course.


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## Junebug (Dec 7, 2008)

okeydokie said:


> i cry BS on the emotional thing. i will never never never understand why women use that lame excuse, they like sex as much or maybe more then men. unfortunately they like control even more, and sex is one thing they can control. sorry if i sound bitter, i am


I really do believe a lot of it is emotional, and I think for the most part this is a pink/blue difference. Women can't just shut off any dissapointment, resentment, anger, etc, and go straight to sex. If we are upset during the day and then as soon as we get to bed you want sex, that makes us feel like crap. Like sure, don't take care of me emotionally but you want me there for you to get off? Forget it... but I also agree about the control thing for some women. Sometimes they do that and I feel it's just wrong...


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