# No Clue



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I am truly lost in my marriage. Not really sure maybe just looking for some direction. My husband and I have seperated in August. We both needed a break from the tense/ stressful situation that we have gotten ourselves into. We both weren't happy. We have grown apart and put our marriage on the back burner. We seperated to gain some perspective on some of the changes that we want to make. The problem is I feel like I am the only one who is trying to fix things. He says he wants us to find our way back to each other but I dont see him putting any effort into fixing things. I do the calling/texting and ask if he wants to get together. I must say I know that we have alot going on he works full time and goes to school fulltime and I work full time and tend to the two kids and sports, so you can see that there is not enough hours in the day, but why do I have to do all the work. Am I expecting to much, I really feel like he is just waiting on me to give up and move on and I have straight up asked him if that is what he is doing and he says no. My heart and head are saying two different things.

Just lost and confused


----------



## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Hi Lee. Welcome.

Read up on the 180. You can search this forum or google it. The strategies will help you cope with what is going on and will help you to become a stronger person. 

You are making it too easy for him. Stop doing all the work. First thing to do is to stop contacting him unless its about the kids. Let him miss you. No phoning, texting or emailing. If you have to meet to exchange the kids, do not engage in conversation, again unless it concerns the children. Make the swop and leave.

Work on yourself. The 180 will help with this. Be the best you can be and let him see what he is missing. Don't do it for him though. Do it for you.

Take care.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I guess I am scared that if I do the 180 that I would be telling him by my actions that it is ok to move on?

Why am I scared of this?

Thanks


----------



## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> I guess I am scared that if I do the 180 that I would be telling him by my actions that it is ok to move on?
> 
> Why am I scared of this?
> 
> Thanks


Of course you're scared. Please see my answer to both you and So Confused in her thread. 

Hug.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

lee101981 said:


> I guess I am scared that if I do the 180 that I would be telling him by my actions that it is ok to move on?
> 
> Why am I scared of this?
> 
> Thanks


Because you are afraid of his response.


----------

