# Problematic Marriage



## Sashashaw (Jun 20, 2018)

Hello everyone,

I would like to have feedback, support, and help regarding my marriage problems. I’ll start from the beginning.

I was 22 y/o when I got married. For me, I was a very immature person to be labeled a “wife” or “responsible person”. I was very stupid, and carefree person. Always jumping around, and cracking jokes! When I got married. I had to move in with my husband, and his parents. The problems started form there.
1. I wasn’t liked very much by my in laws. I was hated, blamed, criticized, and discriminated by every member of the family. I was mentally tortured, and confined in a room for 1 year. The tortured continued to this day. I was never welcomed in the family. My in laws would not talk to me, and say mean things about me behind my back, and sometimes to my husband.

2. After my marriage, my husband disclosed that he had ED(erectile dysfunction). We hadn’t had sex for 7 years now. He first blamed me by saying that I am not open, and all. Then, he said it happened after marriage because of the issues we faced in the house which I mentioned in 1. After moving out, and living separate for 6 years now. He still is same. He went to 4-5 doctors in the past. He don’t visit doctors anymore. He won’t take medicines. Viagara won’t help him anymore or any other pill. I was diagnosed with PCOS because I take a lot of stress. I’ve went to many doctors regarding my problem. I know I’m depressed. I’m trying to overcome this problems. I’ve to tell gyno that I’m single or I didn’t have sex. Sometimes, I share our problem with my gyno, and she would just say that “this problem of his is before marriage. He’s lying”. I don’t know what’s true, and what’s not.

He doesn’t want to leave me. I’ve made attempts of leaving him but, he just won’t. My family doesn’t support my decision of leaving him despite knowing the whole story. My mother wants me to stay with him. My sisters are busy in their lives, and they don’t care much. I have no option or nowhere to go. 

I don’t want to hurt him but, he’s destroying me. I have completely shut myself physically, and emotionally. I don’t feel anything for him anymore. I sometimes feel he’s keeping me for his own gain. He has done nothing for us in 7 years. He takes everything very light. He focuses on making money only. 

I don’t know what to do anymore.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

I don't understand, why cant you leave him exactly? What is stopping you from filing for divorce?

For you, figure out what is the cause of your depression... Some glaring issues;
1) Stop watching the news - Its just a cesspool of negative emotions
2) Are you lifting weights? Theres multiple studies showing that resistance training improves depression
3) Stop drinking anything but water and black coffee/tea - Sugar is bad in so many ways. Body Fat messes up with your chemical balance
4) Are you eating healthy or is it all fast food and boxed/frozen foods
5) Do you have enough vitamin D in your system


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Stress doesn't cause PCOS. What country are you in?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

> I was mentally tortured, and confined in a room for 1 year.


By who???
Are they in prison now?


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Sashashaw said:


> When I got married.* I had to move in with my husband, and his parents.* The problems started form there.
> 1. I wasn’t liked very much by my in laws. I was hated, blamed, criticized, and discriminated by every member of the family. I was mentally tortured, *and confined in a room for 1 year.* The tortured continued to this day. I was never welcomed in the family. My in laws would not talk to me, and say mean things about me behind my back, and sometimes to my husband.



Why did you have to move in with your in-laws?

Sounds illegal to be confined in a room for a year.

What country/culture are you from?


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## Sashashaw (Jun 20, 2018)

1. I was born and raised in Middle East. I then moved to Pakistan. In that society, it is not a big deal for a guy to live with his parents after marriage.

2. He doesn’t want to leave me or want me to file for divorce. He wants me to stay with him.

3. No, it isn’t illegal as nobody knew about this. What was going in the house is something people were unaware of.


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## Sashashaw (Jun 20, 2018)

I’m in Middle East rn. Before that, Pakistan.


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## Sashashaw (Jun 20, 2018)

Steve2.0 said:


> I don't understand, why cant you leave him exactly? What is stopping you from filing for divorce?
> 
> For you, figure out what is the cause of your depression... Some glaring issues;
> 1) Stop watching the news - Its just a cesspool of negative emotions
> ...


He doesn’t want me to file for divorce. He doesn’t want me to leave. 

I don’t watch news, nor I lift weights. Idk about my vitamin D intake. I try to eat healthy as much as possible.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Sashashaw said:


> He doesn’t want me to file for divorce. He doesn’t want me to leave.
> 
> I don’t watch news, nor I lift weights. Idk about my vitamin D intake. I try to eat healthy as much as possible.


Well, since he would not let you leave nor would you be willing to take the necessary steps, there is only one way to go. Get use to it and be prepared for a long life with no sex.

Try to find things to do to fulfill your own happinesses. Maybe a hobby or two. Find people outside your family and develope friendships there that will support you and help you grow. Find a fulfilling job so that you can get satisfaction from that. 

Have you ever had the thought that your husband is gay and females just dont do it for him?


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

I'm confused about your PCOS diagnosis related to stress. I'm a physician with training in endocrinology, and PCOS is not stress-related.

What other symptoms do you have?


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