# Friend's granddaughter's problem



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I have a friend who is concerned about his granddaughter's situation.

She is 14 and lives with her parents in a relatively small town in Massachusetts. She is getting her high school diploma this month and has been pretty much kept away from "modern society" her whole life, having been entirely home schooled. From my friend's description of her interests and abilities (highly nerdy), and her graduating high school at 14, I imagine her IQ is 140 or higher, although it hasn't been tested.

The problem is how to get her through the next few years without exposing her too violently to "modern society".

Her parents have very little money, so sending her to a private school or to a college that can handle very young students isn't feasible.

One piece of good news is that she is very technically inclined and could probably qualify as a programmer for one of the big tech companies with relative ease. Being female would be a big plus in getting hired by those companies, as they are always being hassled by the EEOC for not having enough female engineers and programmers.

My suggestion is that she take college courses [online] until she has accumulated the equivalent of a BA, then as soon as she gets to be 18, apply for a job at Google, Facebook, Microsoft, etc., where she will be able to meet other highly intelligent nerdy types. This would enable her to have some sort of social life.

Any comments or suggestions would be welcome.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Can she do distance ed?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

MrsHolland said:


> Can she do distance ed?


Yes, that was what I meant about taking college courses.

Many of those are free or nearly so, which is another point in their favor given her parents' lack of resources.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Your friend should also be concerned about her social education. There is more to life, and a career, than just book smarts. 

This may all hurt her long term.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

what is the processor her graduating this young? Why not keep her in high school.

There are home school organizations that offer all kinds of support for home schooled kids. For example she could start taking classes offered through the home school association.

Also all home schooled kids have access to all things provided by the local publish school system. I know that here and in CA she could enroll in a local public school and go through their program at allows a student to take college classes at a local community college. When a student does this, their tuition at the college is free. I know several kids who did this and graduated high school at age 17 with an associate's degree and a high school diploma. I'm would think that the school system where she lives has a similar program.

Again, what is the rush to get her out of high school so young?

If nothing else, let her do online courses. And maybe on class at community college so that she starts getting exposure to world around her. Next semester 2 classes on a campus.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think it's important to integrate her into society in some way, at 14 her options are limited but some things come to mind. I would have her get some sort of job where she interacts with people, preferably those her own age, maybe as a pool life guard, maybe at a store or market, maybe tutoring, etc. Also get her in a club or sports team where she is with other kids, heck even some sort of camp might be a good experience. Honestly even if she has to volunteer her time the social interaction may be worth it.

She can do online classes at the same time, or skip a semester or two so she can learn to be a kid.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Since the family does not have any money, seek out a scholarship.

What kind of services does the Mensa Society offer?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I have an idea. I will research it and be back in a while. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

And here it is!

Google has some great career opportunities for engineers, software engineers, sales staff, marketing, managers, accounts, finance security staff, chefs, waiting staff, cleaning crews, writers, directors, trainers, outreach staff, etc, etc 

For your friend's granddaughter this is the link that she will need www.google.com/about/careers/students/

I have friends who work for Google from managers up to director level and they absolutely love working there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Don't generally bother with work thoughts first . I'm not sure I like the west coast culture.

I would have her skills assessed, take some standard tests like SAT or ACT, and have her apply to bricks and mortar schools, esp engineering.

Also check out "College Confidential"... The TAM of college admissions process.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Social skills are as important in a career as technical skills. The earlier she gets more involved in general society the better. She can't be shielded forever, and the longer they wait the worse it will get. She is smart, and if she has access to the internet (I hope!!!), she is probably already aware of quite a bit.

When I want to college we had a couple of brilliant students as young as 14. It was tough on them, but the 2 I knew made it. 

Is there a local community college where she can audit courses?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> Your friend should also be concerned about her social education. There is more to life, and a career, than just book smarts.
> 
> This may all hurt her long term.


Yes, we have discussed that also.

My opinion is that an introverted, nerdy girl with a very high IQ who has been sheltered from the excesses of modern society would be better off moving into a job where there are a lot of other high IQ nerds than being thrown into the world of Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, and so on.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

She is homeschooled so the option of "keeping her in high school" is not available, nor would it be desirable from my discussion with my friend.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

For a bit of background, I went to college at 16. However, I'm a male extrovert who hadn't been sheltered from the outside world, and things have gotten a lot wilder since I was in school in the late Pleistocene. No one involved in the decision wants her dumped into the hookup culture that many schools have.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tech-novelist said:


> She is homeschooled so the option of "keeping her in high school" is not available, nor would it be desirable from my discussion with my friend.


I have nieces and nephews have been home schooled. Their parents ‘kept them in high school’ by holding off on taking the exams that are administrated to allow them to graduate. They not involved with things like the Air Force Civil Defense. There are a lot of really good teens involved. One of my nephews is now 17 and is a pilot because of his involvement. Their parents purposely stretched out the academics of high school so that the kids were able to do things that developed their socialization.

What does this young lady think she wants to do with her life? What are her interests?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tech-novelist said:


> For a bit of background, I went to college at 16. However, I'm a male extrovert who hadn't been sheltered from the outside world, and things have gotten a lot wilder since I was in school in the late Pleistocene. No one involved in the decision wants her dumped into the hookup culture that many schools have.


A lot of schools do not have ‘hook-up cultures” and even if they do, it’s easy to avoid that.

A community college is much less likely to have a hook-up culture because many of the students live at home and work.

She could go to one or two classes and her parents, or grandparents, take her and pick her up. She can live at home. No dorm living.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

She is interested in anime drawing. :banghead:
Fortunately, she is also interested in computers and programming, which is a much better career path.
She knows a lot of history as well, although I'm not sure that she would want to be a historian (an historian?).


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tech-novelist said:


> She is interested in anime drawing. :banghead:
> Fortunately, she is also interested in computers and programming, which is a much better career path.
> 
> She knows a lot of history as well, although I'm not sure that she would want to be a historian (an historian?).


She sounds like a typical imature 14 year old. There is nothing wrong with that. And it’s why pushing someone to graduate at 14 is not a good idea if the parents have not paved the way for the kid to have a support system for her. There are things in life and success that are at least as important as a high IQ… like a person’s emotional and social intelligence.

Being historian can actually be a very good career path. She could end up a professor at a university. Or she could have a career as a museum curator or historian… say at the Smithsonian. A person can make an good income doing these things. 

She might be good at computers or programming. But if she does not have a real passion for it, it would not encourage it too much. Programmers don’t make all that much today. We hire programmers to do the grunt work. Shoot we can hire programmers out of India and Russia at $10 an hour. Now getting a degree, MS, in Computer Science, EE or other engineering field makes sense. So getting into IT. These careers are about a lot more than programming… design, system analysis/design, etc etc, project management, etc. 

I would not take an unsophisticated, under socialized 14 year old and get her a job as a programmer. She’s going to sit at a desk, bang on a keyboard all day. She’s not going to get very much socialization out of it or much of a career path.

The high schools here where I live have what is called the Career Enrichment Program. They have classes that are more career oriented. For example, there is a path in that program for robotics. If she were living her, I would courage her parents to get her enrolled in that program. She would be learning valuable skills with the robotics design and development. She’d be with serious students her own age. She would earn college credits at no cost. At 14, the school system would have to allow her into the program.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tech-novelist said:


> She is interested in anime drawing. :banghead:
> ).


She is 14. Nothing wrong with that. I’d encourage her love of art. It’s a good hobby for one thing.

Where I work, every year we have an annual week long program in which people get to display their hobbies. We set up the cafeteria for this. What we see is that all those engineers, technicians, etc… so many of them are wonderful artists, photographers, musicians, some design clothing, do outstanding needle work. There is one guy who builds instruments from scratch, by hand with gorgeous inlayed woods, stones, etc.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> She sounds like a typical imature 14 year old. There is nothing wrong with that. And it’s why pushing someone to graduate at 14 is not a good idea if the parents have not paved the way for the kid to have a support system for her. There are things in life and success that are at least as important as a high IQ… like a person’s emotional and social intelligence.
> 
> Being historian can actually be a very good career path. She could end up a professor at a university. Or she could have a career as a museum curator or historian… say at the Smithsonian. A person can make an good income doing these things.
> 
> ...


Yes, such a high school program would be excellent, if she lived in a city where it was available. Unfortunately her local high school is very limited in that area.

And I wasn't suggesting that she get a job at 14. The idea is for her to get the equivalent of a college education, probably by age 17, then start looking for a job.

In the meantime, she is active in some school-related activities like chorus, so she is getting some social interaction there. And there are activities in the homeschooling community there. However, most of the students are from Mormon families, and although there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, they don't have much in common with her family, which isn't religious.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

Developers definitely make great money and are in high demand. Especially in the Boston area. If she chose to get a CS or software engineering degree she would be set. I'm in IT recruiting I was working with a company there that wanted a front end developer and was willing to pay big bucks for them (up to 140k salary plus my fees). Most clients I work with that want software engineers and developers offer competitive wages, plus all other crazy perks. Boston is also a great market for cyber security companies. My best friend's little brother just graduated school and got a job for $90k in Seattle as a software engineer. There are also more open jobs than there are people and IT has the lowest rate of unemployment. 

It is true though that if she doesn't enjoy programming, she won't get it. You don't just learn how to program at school. Is she already trying to write code at home? Developers are very passionate and self teach before even getting into college. I tried to learn programming in university, thinking I could learn to be a software engineer. I just couldn't get it and all my peers had already been programming since they were like 10.

And a socially awkward person will still have a harder time landing the best jobs. I have had many clients turn down candidates for being awkward or uncommunicative. I'm not sure why the parents are so worried? If she is a smart girl, she will be fine. Developing social skills is extremely important.


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

We have a 14 year old boy who is home schooled. Besides his regular school work and music, he is interested by the computer world.

What our boy did was to create his own business. He started by fixing video games and selling them off ebay. Did not make much money but got into circuit board design. Made a few and sold them again on ebay. Now he has a server cabinet in his room and is messing with servers. He is going to go for a CCNA (Cisco Certified Network Administrator). The grand plan is to sell server space. I do not think he is going to make much money either, but who cares. He has learned to set goals and to achieve them.

What amazes me, other than the initial computer parts purchase, is how cheap you can get those projects off the ground. He watches the most boring Youtube videos you can imagine on how to setup a server. 

What costs me a fortune though is his, his brothers and my cycling. But I think it is important to have a physical outlet.

This girl has parents, what are they saying? Do they have a plan for her until she is 18? The one to work on may not be the girl, but the parents.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

tech-novelist said:


> Yes, that was what I meant about taking college courses.
> 
> Many of those are free or nearly so, which is another point in their favor given her parents' lack of resources.


MIT has all their course materials free online. Corsera provides full on certificate programs. Many for relatively great prices or completely free and from very top high quality colleges and universities around the world.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

CantePe said:


> MIT has all their course materials free online. Corsera provides full on certificate programs. Many for relatively great prices or completely free and from very top high quality colleges and universities around the world.
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


Yes, that's the sort of thing I was thinking about.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Celes said:


> Developers definitely make great money and are in high demand. Especially in the Boston area. If she chose to get a CS or software engineering degree she would be set. I'm in IT recruiting I was working with a company there that wanted a front end developer and was willing to pay big bucks for them (up to 140k salary plus my fees). Most clients I work with that want software engineers and developers offer competitive wages, plus all other crazy perks. Boston is also a great market for cyber security companies. My best friend's little brother just graduated school and got a job for $90k in Seattle as a software engineer. There are also more open jobs than there are people and IT has the lowest rate of unemployment.
> 
> It is true though that if she doesn't enjoy programming, she won't get it. You don't just learn how to program at school. Is she already trying to write code at home? Developers are very passionate and self teach before even getting into college. I tried to learn programming in university, thinking I could learn to be a software engineer. I just couldn't get it and all my peers had already been programming since they were like 10.
> 
> And a socially awkward person will still have a harder time landing the best jobs. I have had many clients turn down candidates for being awkward or uncommunicative. I'm not sure why the parents are so worried? If she is a smart girl, she will be fine. Developing social skills is extremely important.


She does have a bit of exposure to programming and likes it so far, so I think that is a good avenue to explore.

And as for socially awkward people having a hard time landing the best jobs... I've worked at a lot of software companies and there are plenty of socially awkward types working in those companies at all levels, short of VPs and CEOs.

Anyway, what they are worried about, as far as I can tell from talking to her grandfather, is dumping her into a consumerist, hypersexualized society when she has been sheltered from that. And I can definitely understand that concern.

BTW, if none of my current projects turn out to be worth anything financially, I may send you my resume. >


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Duguesclin said:


> This girl has parents, what are they saying? Do they have a plan for her until she is 18? The one to work on may not be the girl, but the parents.


They're the ones asking for help devising a plan, through my friend, who is her grandfather.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Celes said:


> Developers definitely make great money and are in high demand. Especially in the Boston area. If she chose to get a CS or software engineering degree she would be set..


Some people were suggesting getting her into a programming job now, at age 14 with only a HS diploma and no college degree. A programmer at that level does not make good money. That is why I was suggesting a degree, as are you.




Celes said:


> I'm in IT recruiting I was working with a company there that wanted a front end developer and was willing to pay big bucks for them (up to 140k salary plus my fees). Most clients I work with that want software engineers and developers offer competitive wages, plus all other crazy perks. Boston is also a great market for cyber security companies. My best friend's little brother just graduated school and got a job for $90k in Seattle as a software engineer. There are also more open jobs than there are people and IT has the lowest rate of unemployment.
> 
> It is true though that if she doesn't enjoy programming, she won't get it. You don't just learn how to program at school. Is she already trying to write code at home? Developers are very passionate and self teach before even getting into college. I tried to learn programming in university, thinking I could learn to be a software engineer. I just couldn't get it and all my peers had already been programming since they were like 10.
> 
> And a socially awkward person will still have a harder time landing the best jobs. I have had many clients turn down candidates for being awkward or uncommunicative. I'm not sure why the parents are so worried? If she is a smart girl, she will be fine. Developing social skills is extremely important.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

> Originally Posted by tech-novelist View Post
> She is interested in anime drawing.
> ).
> 
> ...


If she's into programming (aka "playinng with computers") I'd definitely agree with getting interested in art and creative processes. Programming can be easily outsourced , but having a visual or creative skills makes a big difference to a project and/or to the value that is brought to a project (especially for outlining or visual interfaces...stuff which is harder to outsource).

Do watch out for the introvert angle though. My youngest daughter is very quick on the uptake and strong mind, now 19. But refuses to apply herself to life, preferring anime and reading fan-fiction stories. Her mother would only drag her out to go to people events where her mother was doing well socially, and so my daughter refuses to self-engage.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have they looked into programs that could pay for her college? Have they gone to talk to any college financial advisors. If her parents cannot afford college, she might be able to get a good amount of financial aid.

Here the community colleges cost a lot less than the university. A lot of students do their first 2 years at the community college. My son did that. Tuition was $400 a semester. Most of the professors also taught at the university. So he was getting the same class as the university an paying les than a 10th of the cost. After 2 years, he switched to the university. He now has two BS degrees, applied math and physics, an MA in physics and at this point he's working on his PHD in Physics. His tuition in the MS program has been paid for as part of his pay in his Teaching Assistant position. So he's had only 2 years of college that he paid full tuition.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

tech-novelist said:


> She does have a bit of exposure to programming and likes it so far, so I think that is a good avenue to explore.
> 
> And as for socially awkward people having a hard time landing the best jobs... I've worked at a lot of software companies and there are plenty of socially awkward types working in those companies at all levels, short of VPs and CEOs.
> 
> ...


Great, if she likes it so far she should definitely keep at it. I had one Java class and wanted to die LOL.

Of course socially awkward developers still find great jobs (again tech industry has the lowest unemployment rate). But someone with good social skills will definitely have a much easier time. For one, they are able to communicate their skills much better and they present themselves better. I work with many rising startups that are all about culture too. One of my clients has already received tens of millions in funding and turn down anyone who seems unfriendly or like a jerk or is super arrogant, for example. No matter how skilled. 

And LOL sure keep me in mind.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Some people were suggesting getting her into a programming job now, at age 14 with only a HS diploma and no college degree. A programmer at that level does not make good money. That is why I was suggesting a degree, as are you.


Oh yeah I totally agree.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Ime, kids with a strong interest in something will find ways to pursue it. You really cannot hold them back. 

If I were the parents, I would just relax and let her discover and develop her interests.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

She should go to a regular school. Without any social skills, she would likely have difficulty in a corporate setting. Sadly, many dyfunctional people, least able to teach social skills, are the ones who home-school, like taking a baking course from someone who can't make cookies. Try to communicate that in a gentle fashion thought the task is difficult because one assumes the parents believe they are doing an outstanding job and anyone saying otherwise a unknowledgeable busybody or worse.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I feel bad for this girl.

She's basically been raised inside a vacuum like she's a hothouse flower and now her parents are trying to speed her through her teenage years and into early college and a career choice by 17. Jeez.

What is the big, huge hurry here?

While I commend them on keeping a focus on her studies, they've made that the ONLY thing in her life. She's not a little robot and they're not doing her any favors shielding her from the real world. This poor kid is going to grow up emotionally and socially stunted due to her parent's severe tunnel-vision.


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