# My husband left over 3 weeks ago saying he needs time.



## Christy Gibson-Green (Aug 31, 2017)

I have been married for over 18 years and love my husband so much. 3 and a half weeks ago he told me that he needed to leave and take some time before there was any hate or animosity, I lost it! Back story a bit, I met him when I had a 3 week-old son, we married when my son was 2 months old. I found out after a month of marriage that he was still married to someone else and put him out. I told him I needed time and we were separated for a year. We then got back together and had a daughter together....fast forward to a few years ago. 

He traveled ALOT for work and I felt he was not acting the same. I had surgery and couldn't walk and was stuck in bed while he was gone and one day he leaves his phone home and I read messages he has with some girl in Columbia. I confront him and he says they are just friends, I ask him out of respect for me to stop talking to her, he said no. I worked even harder to become the woman he fell in love with, sex was getting more frequent and things seemed good. He returned from a trip to Mexico and said he was leaving...wait what? I cried he pushed me away, my daughter said she was going to kill her self if he left so he said and told me the only reason he stayed was cuz she said that....wow did that hurt. I then decided to take my life back, I learned to walk again and began to withdraw myself from all the medication that was taking my life away from me. I got a job and everyday went to work all while feeling like I wanted to kill myself, I made dinner, cleaned and did all that I could. He never even cared what I was going through. I was assaulted one day and called him for help and he says what do you want me to do, never came to help me or got off the bed. He at this time tells me that his soul has died and something in him changed.
Anyways, here we are 3 and a half weeks ago and he leaves. Like it was so easy to pack your stuff and run to your moms house. He works 2 jobs and is off by 10 pm and so I cried my eyes out and he wouldn't text me back or call me. I wanted to leave and never come back. He said he loves me still and this was so hard for him but he needs time, he will come back but doesn't know when. He tells my brother he will be back in a month and that he loves me very much. I go days without him texting me or calling me. I have seen him once in all this time and he hugged me so tight and I asked him to please come home, he said soon, that was 2 weeks ago. He has taken vacation time at work and went camping and fishing and ignored me the entire time by not texting me or calling me.

I am so confused and in torment. I have actually planned to take my life cuz I couldn't deal with this pain anymore. The one person who promised to never hurt me, knowing all the things I have gone though in my past and he does just that. I have told him that if he doesn't come home and fix this that it could be the end of our story. I can't imagine my life without him in it but I don't think I should have to go through all this when I did nothing to deserve it. He tells me that he still loves me and always will and that no matter that I won't believe him but he misses me. Why won't he come home? what is this i need time and walk away from my family stuff? He said he doesn't know what is happening. I wait up hoping he will call. I pray to God to please just let my husband come home. I cry everyday coming home from work and I don't know how much more I can take. Someone please tell me what should I do? Am I wrong to feel like this isn't something a man does, he doesn't just walk away and then cut off communication and go have time. Any thoughts or help would greatly help me...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

So can you walk again now? Were you having pretty uninhibited enthusiastic sex with him on most days?


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## Christy Gibson-Green (Aug 31, 2017)

yes, i can walk again, it happened 2 and a half years ago.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Just sounds to me like he was neglected for quite a while and finally gave up. You thought it was getting better but apparently not enough for him. 


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Why do you love him so much? He seems pretty awful.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Christy Gibson-Green said:


> I am so confused and in torment. I have actually planned to take my life cuz I couldn't deal with this pain anymore. The one person who promised to never hurt me, knowing all the things I have gone though in my past and he does just that.


This is a serious issue and I understand you are in pain. I'm sorry this is happening. However, it is not something you should consider taking your life over. You have children who will suffer much worse than what you are currently suffering if you were to take your own life. It would be horrible for them. Your children need you and they need you to be as healthy as possible.

Now is the time to step up for the sake of your family and to move beyond your pain. It is time for you to set some boundaries and make some decisions about what is best for you and your children going forward. Look into the divorce laws in your area and understand them, so you know what your rights and responsibilities are. Refocus your attention onto things that are uplifting and in the best interest of the family. When you find your mind dwelling on him, redirect your thoughts to a task that you can perform to help get your mind on something productive.

I hope you are able to make some progress so you are not feeling such deep despair and can focus on caring for your children and their needs.


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## Christy Gibson-Green (Aug 31, 2017)

i love him because he has made me a better person. I love my children as well but I see that they are 18 and 16 and moving into their own and I just want them to see that they can have a love like we "had".


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