# Selfish Husband- Need Help



## skap (May 28, 2012)

I am at my witts end and don't know what to do. My husband just said he wants to go to another state for 3 weeks to write a book. 
I am working full time, going to school full time and raising kids. I need his help but he thinks everything will be just fine when he is gone and get the kids a bus pass so I don't have to drive them around. 
My other issue everyday after work he goes to the bar or saturdays hes gone all day. He is never home and when I approach him he gets all defensive. I know he is not having an affair, he is just plain selfish. 

What should I do?


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## Mary Harris (May 24, 2012)

How do you know he is not having an affair?

Do you really trust your husband that much?


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## skap (May 28, 2012)

I do trust him. We also have this app so we can track our kids and it allows us to track each other as well. So I always know where he is and vice versa.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

So he knows you can see where he is. If he wanted to cheat he would probably use that to his advantage so you wouldn't suspect anything. If you brought up cheating he would probably bring up the phone as one of the first things of why you should know he isn't. My point if this is the ONLY reason you think he isn't cheating then it isn't much to stand on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Make him take ONE child with him. If they are old enough for a bus pass, then they are old enough to babysit Dad.


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## Needpeace (May 24, 2012)

Maybe you should have a weekly day out with the girls, he should be fine with that if you are expected to be fine with his day out. It gives you a day off to recharge as well, after all marriage is give & take.
The ideal situation would be to get a sitter and have a day together, you enjoy each others company without the kids, some us time.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

This is a subject that seems to be growing in frequency here on TAM. One spouse does all the work and the other does nothing and has the nerve to get defensive when called on their selfishness. It's not just about him anymore, he's a married father for God's sake!

Seriously, it already sounds like you are fed up and your resentment is growing. I'll bet he doesn't even notice either. He needs take his head out of his azz and be a husband and father. No one forced him into becoming those things. As long as you do everything, even if you complain, he is going to slack off and do his own thing. There are no consequences for him, you see. You get mad, big deal, he still goes out to play. He needs a wake up call.

It's probably not in your nature to slack off, hence, you get the lions share of the work with no help. Now he wants to write a book? About what? How to get away with murder? How to be a sh!tty husband? Awful Husbands for Dummies? (I could do this all day).


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Wait, what is this about a book? Is he an author or Ph.D candidate going off to do research? That's one thing.

You don't write a book in three weeks, I'm sure you know that.

What kind of book? What's the three weeks for, and where is he going? These are questions you should be asking, if you have not already.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Um, I would NOT be okay with that. I would actually be infuriated about that. 3 weeks, really? To write a book? Hah! No.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

skap said:


> I am at my witts end and don't know what to do. My husband just said he wants to go to another state for 3 weeks to write a book.
> What should I do?


Why can't he write the book in the state you are currently in :scratchhead: 

Does it involve some kind of a research that can be done only in the other state or something like that???


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