# How do you put your feet down?



## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

I am not the best at setting boundaries and don't have any idea of how to put my feet down.

As I said on other of my threads, my husband won't talk if I need his input (or if I need to know what he thinks about something). And he won't hear me when I want to communicate something to him. *I'm talking relationship related stuff.*

We have a (actions instead of words) kind of communication...


-Last Saturday he came home at 2.30am, drunk and asked me to give him money to pay for the taxi because he didn't have anything on his wallet...:scratchhead:. I was not pleased obviously. 

I told him nothing, because I didn't want to get into a fight. What I did told him was that I didn't want him to do this on a regular basis... 

*Was I wrong by not taking action on this behaviour of him?*

*I think I can do better than that. Suggestions? *


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## LouAnn Poovy (Mar 21, 2013)

*You say you were not pleased, obviously. But to whom was it obvious? Not your husband, because you say you told him nothing because you didn't want to fight, just not to do this regularly. 

Grow some ovaries!*:bringiton:


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

If you were angry or upset by his actions then of course you should discuss it with him. How is he going to know you are not happy about it if you don't tell him?

Is this a regular thing for him or a one off? If its a one off, cut him some slack, not such a big deal, but if he does it regularly the. It needs to be addressed.

It's not about putting your foot down, he's not a child and you can't control him, it's about discussing what is acceptable behaviour in your marriage and what isn't.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Sure she doesn't control him but establishing good solid boundaries is certainly not treating him like a child. It's maintaining ones self respect so they aren't a doormat. 

OP you say he was already drunk when he came home and yet he asked for money for a taxi? Exactly where did he need to go? Or was this to pay for the ride back home? 

Is he an alcoholic? If so you need to open your mouth and tell him you are uncomfortable with him going out and drinking and would like it to stop. Suggest discussing it and say you would like to compromise on this issue as well as how he treats you. You do deserve respect.


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

LouAnn Poovy said:


> *You say you were not pleased, obviously. But to whom was it obvious? Not your husband, because you say you told him nothing because you didn't want to fight, just not to do this regularly.
> 
> Grow some ovaries!*:bringiton:





daisygirl 41 said:


> If you were angry or upset by his actions then of course you should discuss it with him. How is he going to know you are not happy about it if you don't tell him?
> 
> Is this a regular thing for him or a one off? If its a one off, cut him some slack, not such a big deal, but if he does it regularly the. It needs to be addressed.
> 
> ...




_I know I am a coward because I don't want any more fights... But I think it's worthless to get into a fight because whatever I try to tell him, even if it's kindly or screaming, he will ignore me. 
That's why I point out that he never listens to me. 

He is an alcoholic... (not an active one anymore). He used to get wasted before we got married and now, he would drink 4 beer bottles and he says he's not feeling well anymore. And he would drink on family reunions which happen every two months more or less. 

This past Saturday he did it because he works at a hotel. He usually works from 6a,-2pm. That day he had to work on and event and had to stay all day untim 1am. After that he went to have some beers with the waiters-collagues... I really don't like them, but they work together every single day. What am I supposed to do? So I think this was like a little escape because this it's not very often thank God!. Still made me very uncomfortable though. _





Gaia said:


> Sure she doesn't control him but establishing good solid boundaries is certainly not treating him like a child. It's maintaining ones self respect so they aren't a doormat.
> 
> OP you say he was already drunk when he came home and yet he asked for money for a taxi? Exactly where did he need to go? Or was this to pay for the ride back home?
> 
> Is he an alcoholic? If so you need to open your mouth and tell him you are uncomfortable with him going out and drinking and would like it to stop. Suggest discussing it and say you would like to compromise on this issue as well as how he treats you. You do deserve respect.


_That's why I am asking help. Because I don't know the correct way to make myself respected. I don't want to be a doormat like I have always been. 

He asked me for money to pay the ride back home. He doesn't like to keep too much cash on his wallet. 

Yesterday he said he made a deposit on my loan from the bank (which I appreciate because I didn't ask for it) and I told him I didn't have enought money with me either so he left me some also...


Am I really stupid?

I think of every situation as a lesson... I want to learn! _


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Assertiveness training was a class I took in college. However, it was boring so I didn't go very often...

The issue that might help, I think, is understanding the difference between a fight and a conflict. A conflict is pretty simple and can happen and be resolved very easily. I fight generally leaves hard feelings.

When was the last time you have a conflict with your H and you backed down because it was escalating and you didn't want to fight? Talk about that. Your next post.


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

*I can't handle conflict. 
*

I am affraid of starting fights because he has slapped me before twice. So I try to avoid that as much as I can. I am affraid. I tend to be REALLY NAGGY and I am working on it. 

If I try to have a conversation with him, as soon as I say anything about US, or how I feel, he shuts himself. He says it's my problem the way I feel and that he is ok. If I want to feel sad, or bad or angry or whatever, it's my problem, not his. If I want to get help it's ok but he doesn't need it. So, it's not worth it. There's no way to have a conversation with him. He will say always "you're starting again"and then he ignores me and goes to sleep. -This has happend a thousand times.-


_Last night_, _he did another one_: He went to play soccer with a friend and I was ok with that. When his friend came to pick him up he came with his wife and they invited me (and my babygirl), but my husband didn't want us to go with them and keep saying NO.

I felt really sad because he never ever includes me in his plans... We almost never do anything together other than shopping, or watch t.v. and lately he's getting on FB again... I cried because I felt hopeless... But managed to stayed calm (thank God) and still made dinner for him. (I hate to cook for him when I am not feeling I am doing it with love).

When he cme back, he was very talkative and I kept myself calmed. I am almost sure he was expenting me to be all angry and start saying stuff about not inviting me to the soccer game so that's why he was so talkative. (Like changing subject before I brought it up) He said something about his colleagues being alcoholics and how one of them despite that he helps his wife, and I told him about another one who is very mean with his wife and he just laughed and said that "yes, and when his wife tells him she's had enough than he's crying"... (And all of this for what?) 

This made me think he's "learning" from his older married buddies and how they do with their wives...

This is making me sick. But I am just letting this pass and see what he does if I act opposite as he expects me to. But it hurt and also I am very bad at it. I don't know if I can handle this.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You did the right thing by just paying the cab and not making a scene when he came home. He was drunk and there's no point in arguing with a drunk unless you just love to see the police come to your house. 
The next day when he was sober would have been a good time to express yourself. He put you in a bad spot. What would have happened if you didn't have available cash at 2:30am? You have a baby and it's pretty inconsiderate to wake a young mother up at 2:30am for nonsense. He works at a hotel. There is probably an ATM at the hotel and, if not, there are ATMs at every bank between the hotel and home. He could have had the cabbie stop, get some money, and handled the matter like an adult. Those old enough to drink until 2:30am are old enough to figure out how to pay a taxi fare. If he chooses to spend his cab money on beer, he can walk, find an ATM, or hit up one of is drinking buddies. 
The time to figure out how you're getting home is before you start drinking. Some people were apparently raised by wolves and they will be just as inconsiderate as others permit them to be. He works in a hotel. He knows how to be considerate and respectful to strangers or he wouldn't have a job. A rude hotel employee would last from twelve till noon. He isn't rude or inconsiderate at work because there are consequences there. He needs to learn there are also consequences for being rude and inconsiderate at home.


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

*Another question.

How can I make him learn there's consequences of his childish behaviour IF I already left home like 3 times in our marriage and he begs just for one hour and he has me back?*


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

I'm assuming you're quite young and you have a small child also.

Venusina, YOU need to decide what YOU want out of life. You've been on TAM for almost a year and nothing has changed for you, has it?


Your husband has hit you out of anger.
Your husband refuses to discuss anything with you.
Your husband is convinced that you are always wrong (nagging) and he is always right (being picked on by you).
Your husband is an alcoholic (gets drunk every other month).
Your husband ignores you.
Your husband does NOT include you in his social life.
Your husband thinks his friends' shoddy treatment of their wives is funny.
Your husband believes that if YOU'RE UNHAPPY that is YOUR problem.
Your husband blames whatever marital problems there are on YOU being a nag.
After he's done something really wrong, he will occasionally do something nice for you to try to 'make up for it'. (like the $$)
He's perfectly content with your marriage if you would just learn to shut up.

You fear conflict.
You have been hit twice in anger by your husband.
You try to discuss marital problems, but he refuses to listen.
You want to be included in his social life and he refuses.
You want to feel love, but you feel ignored.
You believe that YOU nag too much.
You want to be respected, but don't know how.
That's how it was a year ago, right? And that's still how it is now.

NOTHING will change until YOU decide to change it.
NOTHING will change until YOU decide you are WORTH being treated correctly.
NOTHING will change until YOU decide WHAT you want your life, your marriage to look like...and you are UNWILLING to 'settle' for less.


Do you have any education beyond high school?
Do you have any job experience?
Are you currently employed outside the home?
Does your family live nearby and are they supportive of you?
Does your family know your husband has hit you (do NOT say that you deserved it, because GROWN ADULT MEN do NOT hit women. They may yell and get angry, but they don't hit.)
You and your husband are your daughter's role models for how to be a man/woman, and adult, a spouse. IS THIS what you want your daughter to believe growing up? That men are more important than women? That a husband can/should ignore his wife if he doesn't like what she's saying? That it's okay to hit a woman (and if you're a woman, you're just supposed to take it) if she pisses you off?

Because *THAT* is EXACTLY what you two are and will continue to teach your daughter as she's growing up. Her boyfriends will ignore her and hit her, her husband will do the same. Do you want *THAT* for your baby? Do you want better for her?

Then SHOW HER how adults and women are SUPPOSED to live!

You have to be willing to WALK AWAY from this marriage if you have to if that is the only way to keep you (your baby's mother) and your baby safe. If you're not safe, how is she? If you're injured, who'll care for her?

*What is the WORST THING that would happen to you if you left your husband?* He'd hunt you down? You have no job? You'd be homeless? You'd have trouble finding food for money? You don't know how to live on your own? *Whatever it is that you fear...ALL the things that you fear...there are people and resources to help you and your baby get back on your feet!*

The BEST THINGS that would happen to you if you left your husband are: no more hitting (you or baby, because trust me...her time will come), no more fighting, self-respect, good role model(s) for baby, a sense of pride and accomplishment as you take care of your daughter.

You don't sound ready to leave your husband, although you really should. He's a VIOLENT drunk. Just because he doesn't hit you often doesn't matter; once is TOO MUCH. Suppose he loses his job? Suppose you get pregnant again? Can his drinking and temper sustain the stress? Doubtful!

Please reach out to SOMEONE for help: your family, your religious leader, a women's abuse hotline, someone! Start making plans one step at a time. When you break it down step by step you'll see that any goal you have IS achievable.

Your husband will NOT change without a GREAT MOTIVATION to do so. Moving out would BE that motivator. He either steps up and becomes the man he SHOULD BE (with counseling), or he doesn't and you need to walk away before he hurts you permanently.

Good luck, honey!


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I'm assuming you're quite young and you have a small child also.
> 
> Venusina, YOU need to decide what YOU want out of life. You've been on TAM for almost a year and nothing has changed for you, has it?
> 
> ...


:iagree:

Great Post, SGW!

Venusina -please read what SlowlyGettingWiser wrote. Read it more than once. You really need to understand nothing will change with him because he has no motivation to change. He's a violent drunk. You're putting yourself and your child in danger.


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I'm assuming you're quite young and you have a small child also.
> 
> *Re: I am 27 and my baby is 18 months.*
> 
> ...



*By the way, thank you very much for all your support everyone. I am very frustrated. *


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> I think my last "weapon"is filing for divorce... So I am saving that one for an emergency


Venusina, EVERY unhappy day in your life is an emergency!

Wanting him to change is NOT going to do it. You might as well want to be the one to cure cancer. It's not going to happen. WISHING ALONE will NOT make it so.

The 180 is a GREAT idea...but it is NOT so that your hubby will wise up and see what an ass he is! It is for YOU. So that YOU know:

you will no longer be subjected to his rudeness, it will roll off you
you will no longer put up with disrespectful treatment, it will be ignored
you will no longer depend on HIM for approval, you approve of yourself
you will no longer wait on him to validate your worth, YOU ARE worthy (and if baby could talk, she'd say so, too!)
Do the 180 to PREPARE YOURSELF to STAND ALONE as an adult, mature, single-parent to your child. Because if your husband does NOT step up, then *THAT* is EXACTLY what has to happen for your sake and your daughter's sake.

Do NOT move out again UNLESS YOU MEAN IT -- FOREVER! It has to mean something or it just looks like you throwing a tantrum.

Why are you afraid to tell your family he has hit you? Would they blame you? Would they physically attack him?

Read up on the 180. Make sure you understand it completely. Do it for the right reasons (so YOU can learn to be a self-sufficient, mature, adult that your baby can rely on solely...and YOU can rely on yourself solely as well). THEN IMPLEMENT IT.

Good luck!

*hugs*


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

SWG, thank you very much... Really.




I have read the180 Rules several times before but I have no clue still. Living with him and doing that seems really hard. And I don't want to end up doing the silent treatment.

I tend to go from one extreme to another... I am not sure if I have to ignore him, stop cooking for him or doing other things for him... Ignore him if he touches me... 

I have a lot of thinking to do and I think I'll print this whole post so I don't forget anything I was told


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Think of it this way, if someone at work was INTENTIONALLY RUDE and condescending and insulting to you, you would interact with him/her on an 'as needed' basis only, right? You would talk to them ONLY as necessary about business-related issues.

Same with hubby. You don't need to ignore him, but let him know that you are speaking to him ONLY about household, financial, or parental issues from now on.

Until you are treated respectfully as his equal, his PARTNER (with equal say in family & financial matters), the MOST IMPORTANT person in his life, then there is nothing further to discuss except for immediate living concerns. 

If he doesn't treat you as a respected, cherished person, if he doesn't even want to HEAR that YOU have an opinion or something important to say, then he doesn't really want to be your husband. 

Because he has already HIT you, I don't know what to say to you about an in-house 180. Ordinarily, I'd say move into another bedroom (even if you share with baby) and put a lock on it. You are now roommates. Considering your husband DRINKS and HITS you, I fear to advise it.

I think YOUR BEST BET for a 180 is to LEAVE FOR YOUR MOTHER'S, don't see him, interact with him, date him, until he can PROVE he's been in AA for AT LEAST 8-9 SOLID MONTHS. He can pick up/drop off the baby if he's sober (actually, I'd let a professional decide since he still drinks AND he's hit you more than once), but I'd be out of his life FOREVER unless HE CAN PROVE (and an AA sponsor and/or Individual therapist can vouch) that he has been CLEAN & SOBER and WORKING on himself in counseling.

Keep an abuse hotline number ON YOU (and a cell phone) AT ALL TIMES, PLEASE!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I'm not someone who can think on their feet. I never set boundaries with my ex. I have since given this a LOT of thought and worked with a counselor to do this starting shortly after I left him.

I require introspection. What happened? What do I want? Is it reasonable? If it is reasonable then I can vocalize my boundaries. Some of us need the "long way 'round"


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Venusina said:


> I am not the best at setting boundaries and don't have any idea of how to put my feet down.
> 
> As I said on other of my threads, my husband won't talk if I need his input (or if I need to know what he thinks about something). And he won't hear me when I want to communicate something to him. *I'm talking relationship related stuff.*
> 
> ...


Timing is important, in making sure your communication can be heard. Talking to someone who is inebriated and expecting them to hear you is obviously not as effective as some other time when good rapport has been established. You can also 'communicate' by giving him enough for the fare but not for a tip. Next time he wants a cab, it will be difficult for him unless he pays up front. Depending on your locale, there is likely a list of bad fares/passengers. Cab drivers do accept such risks as non-payment when transporting inebriated passengers, and will generally be relieved to be paid the actual fare (which includes a profit), but will be wary next time of transporting to that stated destination/address. In other words, he can experience natural consequences, let the greater world 'communicate' with him according to his actions. 

You should also have access to his account to transfer funds out, into yours, when he needs to borrow personal monies from you. 

Also, lesson learned, don't have cash. Sorry, can't help you with your fare problem. If he's going to be irresponsible and break relationship 'rules' feel free to break one in return, even if you have cash, hide it and say you don't. If you keep playing nice, in response to his behavior, why should he change his behavior. Set some limits as to what you'll accept, and if he can't meet the standard, accept that and move on or not, as you please.

You can only change your own behavior, not someone else's.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Venusina said:


> *I wish I could find a way to work things out. I wish I can motivate him to do something huge for US*





Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> You can only change your own behavior, not someone else's.


This sums it up perfectly. You can't motivate him, Venusina. You are concentrating on getting _him _to do things differently so that _your_ life is better. He is an alcoholic (it's not about how often someone drinks, it's why and what it does to them), and he's an abuser. There is no excuse to hit you. None. 

I'm with SGW -- I would not recommend an in-house 180, either. He will take that as defiance of his control of you, and he'll make you pay even more. 

The only way you are going to have a better life is without him. 

I will recommend a book that is very helpful in looking at abusers. It was written by someone who started one of the first intensive treatment programs for domestic abuse perpetrators. He is very frank about just how much women should hope for change in an abusive partner. The short answer: Don't hold out much hope. It is very, very difficult to get an abuser to change. 

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: Lundy Bancroft: 9780425191651: Amazon.com: Books

You can probably get it at or through your local library. It's been out a while. There's a free preview on Amazon, too.

Another one that might be helpful:

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can--and Should--be Saved: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi: 9780425238899: Amazon.com: Books

It's not just about putting your foot down, or making boundaries, it's past that. You are being abused physically and emotionally by an alcoholic. 

Start making a plan to leave, which includes a safe place to go to, way to take care of yourself and your daughter financially, and talk to a lawyer to make sure you know your rights. Look for a group that helps with domestic violence in your area. In my city, it's the YWCA. In many areas of the country, dialing 211 gets you the United Way hotline, and they can give you different organizations that can help you.

You and your daughter are worth a life that's much better than the one you have. But it has to start with you.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

If you don't have the guts to do it for YOU, Venusina, then find the guts to do it for your baby-girl!

She's getting aware enough to notice what's going on...and it's UGLY and unsafe.

Please take angelpixie's advice, and READ both of those books! Take them to HEART (do any work recommended in them).

In six months' time, you and baby-girl could be in a place in your lives that is SO MUCH better/happier/healthier/joy-filled!

PLEASE do it THIS YEAR for BOTH OF YOU! There is NO SHAME in having married this man...you didn't understand. Now that you KNOW better, you need to DO better...for you and baby!


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

*Thank you very much again.*

-*We both have been before at a 12 steps program.* (I am codependent). It helps hugely. But I think he didn't take it very seriously. He stopped drinking for a while and then said it's not about stopping drinking or not, but knowing how to drink and how much...

*He was doing fine.* At the beggining I started getting angry when he started drinking one single can of beer. He said it was ok, so even I was mad I decided not to make a big deal. Now he seems to start doing it more little by little... and I hate that. He even makes fun that he's gonna be wasted next Sunday watching soccer at home, or thinks it's funny to scream outside the house saying "open the door! I am wasted! OPEN!!" when he is sober so that our neighboors think he is like that when he is drunk... 

*I know there's no excuse for slapping me in the face... *more than the pain you get for being slapped... the pain in your soul is way worse... And I hate that he hasn't even said he's sorry for doing that. Ever.

*About the books, * I would like to get them but I don't know how to. I live in Mexico, and shipping is way too expensive from other countries. Maybe I should look for tha Spanish versions? 


I think I will try to have a talk with him... I am also affraid that going 180 while at home it's going to be hard because he will ignore me even more and if he does his own thing I will be in a lot more pain. By the way... When I ask why does he ignore me he says he doesn't and then asks me: Do you really want to know how to be ignored feels like? Do you really want to know how to be treated bad feels like? I always say it's not different than what he's doing already...


*Last night, *he had sex after almost two weeks... ( And I just realized we have sex only when he wants to, because when I want to, either he goes to sleep earlier than I or just rejects me, so I have to wait until the day he's in the mood.) Well, it was pitiful. I didn't even wanted to do it. And he wouldn't even kiss me well. I could tell. And when we were done (after 10 min like usually) I asked him since when he wanted to do it and he just asked me "why?" and no reply (as expected). 

I feel really disheartened, dull. Last Friday "I was in love"...


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Venusina:

You can look for Spanish translations of the books.

Did you know that you can download Kindle FOR FREE onto your computer? You do NOT need a special "Kindle" book-reader...the computer you're using RIGHT NOW works great! Just go to amazon.com, look at the Kindle section and go to where it shows you can "download Kindle to your PC for free". Once you have done that, you can 'buy' the books you want over the internet and they are downloaded IMMEDIATELY to your computer!

You can "highlight" in the book and put a "bookmark" in where you stop reading...just like in a REAL book that you hold in your hands!

By the way, there are also FREE books that you can download to your computer via Kindle. I got 7 books (classic American and British literature) that I LOVE for free! Will be reading them this summer.

It sounds like your husband is a manipulator! Definitely read "Who's Pulling Your Strings" by Harriet Braker. I'm only on Chapter 6 (read the first 5 last night) and it is like she is writing about MY STBXH...like she KNOWS HIM PERSONALLY! Its freaky!

Your husband is just USING YOU for sex, meals, and housework. He should just hire a maid. I hope you have had yourself tested for STDs because I don't believe your husband is trustworthy! He certainly doesn't have proper respect for you, your marriage, your feelings.

See about loading the Kindle FOR FREE onto your computer, then you can buy the books CHEAPLY and INSTANTLY. It's a good way to get started on helping YOURSELF understand your situation better and make better decisions for you and your daughter!

*Please **tell us WHY you won't tell your family that your husband has hit you?* Do you fear they will be angry with YOU? Do you fear they will physically hurt your husband? Will you just be too ashamed? We're not here to JUDGE you, just to give you advice!

I'm a mother! I would WANT my daughter to tell me if she was hurting like this...if she was THIS miserable in her marriage. All a parent REALLY WANTS is for their child to be happy and healthy; you're NEITHER! If your mother knew your husband hit you, she might be MUCH MORE OPEN to you moving back in with her so YOU and baby-girl could be SAFE! Can you take a chance on your mother's love and be HONEST with her?


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

*I am feeling like exploding!*


I try kindle and see what I can do. The problem is I don't have internet access at home, only at my job. I found already "Codependent no more" already. Which I think can help also. 

Yes, I think he is just using me for his own convenience. He just "provides"what is needed for the baby and the house but there's nothing he wants to do with wife. 

I am losing all hopes. But then I think there's something I can do. 

I was thinking this morning, instead of going 180, I can go back to do the 12 steps program and stop doing everything he wants. 


*Yesterday*, I asked him what he wanted for lunch and he wanted meat tacos (it was Holy Friday!) so I said I couldn't find those but I got some fish ceviche instead... Well... when he saw I didn't get the ceviche HE WANTED he got mad at me and said that "why would I get that ceviche if I knew he wanted a different one???", so I said I didn't know he wanted a different one since we gon't get ceviche every weekend, but again he said I did already know... ( I was like WTF is wrong with you really?) So I asked him again... Is he was mad just because of that and he said that he wasn't but for the next time he wanted ceviche he was going to get it himself for himself... (What about me? Us?)...

I asked him "what os wrong with you? What's your problem? I know everything I say is wrong, I know I never say anything good for you..." and he replied "of course! then why do you keep doing those things??"

My heart breaks into smaller pieces...

This is getting more frustating every time.

I managed to stay calmed... My baby has the chicken pox now... (which also breaks my heart) So I don't wanna make a big deal of those things he always does. I feel like I hate him lately... But still... I had sex with him after all that and then we went shopping like everything was fine... :/

*
I won't tell my parents about his agressiveness*, I am affraid. I think my mom would be so sad to know what Ive been through and I would be even more depressed... Because it hurts to think about it. My dad I think he would go nuts! He's always pissed because he doesn't like my job (he says I'm making too little and he hates that I have do to the cleaning at my office, besides being the secretary). So, I am not sure if I could tell them. 


*I ate my own words...* I remember when I started dating him my mom didn't like him I told her "Mom, It's not like I am marrying him...":slap:

I'll be back on Monday! Have a great weekend and Than you!!!


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