# My Story So Far



## shoresidejake (Jun 26, 2012)

My story is long, and it's a happy, but sad one.

I met my wife in October of 2010. I had just got out of a very tough and very destructive relationship with my previous girlfriend of 4 years. I began attending a church with a friend... I figured at that time the best thing for me to do was to get into a house of people that had nothing but positive things to say, and I figured I'd meet some good people, and I know good people is what I needed.

She was introduced to me by a young adults ministry leader, I remember the moment as clear as ever... her big brown eyes and a bright smile that lit up the room. "Hi, I'm Coral!" she said as she reached for my hand. I remember looking at her and at that very instant, as I extended by hand to reach for hers... and thought to myself, "This is what LOVE is". I knew she was my soulmate. I knew that one day I was going to marry this girl, and nothing would stop me.

We quickly became friends and 4 months later, I proposed. I saved up all of my money and bought a relatively inexpensive ring - it wasn't much, but it was all I could afford. After my previous relationship, I had burnt thorough most of my money and didn't have a lot to myself. But I did have a job, and a place to sleep at night, and I knew that it was all worth it to be with the only person I've ever truly loved at first sight... I bought the ring and I was back to nothing. I poor man with nothing but a big hopeless heart and a few karats of diamonds in my pocket. I made sure to ask her grandmother, which raised her for permission... she was thrilled that I'd be popping the question and told me to follow my heart. So I did.

In St. Augustine on a beautiful night, I popped the question. She knew where I was going with it and sat down crying as I continued my speech. I small crowd formed, and they erupted in applause as she said "Yes". Up until that moment, it was the best, most rewarding moment of my entire life.

Fast forward to today.

We've been married for 5 months come a few weeks and things are really beginning to get hard. About a month ago we were going through some very hard financial struggles and also found out that we were expecting a baby. Now, we both thought that maybe we couldn't have children, so we were very excited. But times were hard and family seemed distant. Our bills were past due and the world felt like it was falling down on us.

A friend of mine from Arizona called me and made a proposition. Him and his wife would come out to Florida and help us make the 2 day drive to Arizona from Florida and we'd start a new life, fresh somewhere else - a clean slate if you will. We jumped at the opportunity. I asked her if she wanted to go, and she said yes. The feeling was mutual. We left everything back in Florida, our friends, our families - our lives. But we did it together and with a vision of a better life somewhere else together with our unborn child.

Well, things in Arizona weren't what we imagined. We were alone, we were scared, newlyweds with a baby on the way and nothing of our own. We wanted to leave, so with no money to move, and no where to go, we sold everything we had accumulated in our short marriage and we left for Texas. I had grown up in Texas and have a brother and stepfather here... so we did it.

We arrived here in Texas about a month ago, and it's been tough. Not only did we find out that she would be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, but we were basically living in a small living room with our two pets (a cat and a dog). Our money went fast and before we knew it, the difficult pregnancy got worse. We were scared, lonely, hungry and stress was building.

Last week she flew out to Jacksonville, FL because her grandmother became deathly ill. She was gone for about a week and I picked her up at the airport here in Dallas/Ft. Worth this past Tuesday. She talked about how much she loved being home with her family and her parents and how it was nice for her to have a bed and family around her supporting her... but I was just being jealous... wishing I could provide everything that she needed here. Knowing that I couldn't I became frustrated and defensive.

Last Wednesday I awoke in a bad mood. I took my bad mood and stress out on her. I threw her phone, telling her she couldn't talk to her mom and we needed to work things out here together - that's when she looked at me and told me "I want to go home.". She said so with tears in her eyes, and all I did was thought of myself and refused to go home to Florida with my tail between my legs and give in to defeat. I wasn't having it. She was upset, I was upset, and she tried leaving. I went to stop her and grabbed her arms and spun her around and dropped to my knees and begged her back into the house to lie down. She screamed "Do not touch me!". She wanted to call her mom, so I let her.

A few moments I went out to the porch to check on her and ask her if we could sit and talk... and I was surprised to see a couple of police cars and my wife in the driveway. They took a report and wrote me a $655 ticket for offensive behavior. They told me that she needed to keep my phone since I broke hers and she needed the keys to the BMW just in case she needed to go somewhere, so I left them with her, and I left for a few hours to cool off and be alone.

When I got back 4 hours later, her things and our car were gone. She left for the airport 3 days later and she gave me the benefit of saying goodbye to her and the baby. I realized that back home would be a better place for her, and once I can get money and my stress under control I'd join her in Florida and be there for her and our child... so we talked over the phone, and on Facebook and began having long heart to hearts over the phone for the past few nights. She admitted that her family wasn't happy with me and they wanted her to pursue divorce, but we both talked things out and cried and laughed together and I thought finally we had an agreement and a plan.

Last night we said I love you and good night and this morning I awoke to a message in Facebook that simply said "Ugh, I hate insurance paperwork!! " I replied as sweet as I could saying that I understand and asked if there was anything I could do, and that I loved her and couldn't wait to hear her voice.

Well about an hour later I got a phone call (just as I finished replacing her iPhone with a new screen) from her Mom's phone. Excited to hear my wife's voice, I was surprised by her Mom's voice. Essentially her mother told me that Coral didn't need me and that if I needed to tell Coral anything important, I'd need to relay it though her to give to my wife. I tried speaking my case and I was confronted with a "you can't hit your wife" statement. Let me be clear - I would NEVER hit my wife. But the story was mixed up and details were lost.

I went online to Facebook to my profile to send a message to my wife and tell her to take care and call me if she needed anything, but as I went to click on the "Married to Coral ******" link, I was surprised with a "Married" status and my wife was no longer a friend of mine on Facebook.

I'm scared. I'm lonely. I'm broke and I want to be there for my wife and child. But I feel like she's buying advice from outsiders who have nothing in mind but their own benefit. I've made a few videos on my YouTube account shoresidejake - YouTube documenting my feelings and my battle of quitting tobacco. Have a look and tell me what you think.

Thanks for listening.


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## shoresidejake (Jun 26, 2012)

Can a moderator please move this thread to "Considering Divorce or Separation"


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## shoresidejake (Jun 26, 2012)

I'm too far gone, aren't I? I'm turning to God now. It's all I feel that I have left.


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Turning to God is good, only way we were able to save our marriage...

Take a few months to get yourself stable, finances under control...and let the waters cool down with your wife, she must be an emotional wreck (like you) right now with what has happened and having the baby...multiply what you are feeling by 5, that is probably how she feels.

Since no-one will let you contact her, send her a registered letter explaining you hope all is well with her, your plans for the next few months (maybe some counseling), and maybe suggest a time during the week..say 7:00 Tuesdays that you could speak with her every week to get updates on your child--seems to me they can't refuse no contact because you have the right to see your child...

Finally, get your priorities straight...you have no money yet drive a BMW and have 2 pets?


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