# Life passing me by



## onehanded (Dec 17, 2017)

I've been married for almost 10 years. I have been constantly fighting with wife to move forward in my career and family. My wife suffers from various ailments along with a disability. She has had the disability from before i met her and she coped well with it. However she has additional underlying health problems that causes her to basically just go to work and basically come home and lie down and not participate in house activities. Our son who also has challenges, I've take on the lion share of after school activities. She shows very little interest other then take him home and put him in front of the tv.

Worse she does nothing to address health issues. For example she'll be sick for 2 months straight with fever, headaches, sinus, coughs and she will come home and eat chips and coke. She take heavy doses of otc medicines, watches tv until midnight and doesn't sleep. She wont even go to the doctor. She had been recommended surgery for one her problems, vs a 30% chance of a instaneous brain hemmorage, and she has not even followed in 6 years, becuz she is too scared to think about it.

Finally this cycle continues so often I can't plan anything for the family nor talk about extending the family. I sense because she can't have anymore kids she's given up trying to find alternative ways to extend the family as well as she a narcisst saying she deserves to rest after work because she earns more. I've just started a business and at least for now am pulling in less money but more hours. I know that this is a distraction she uses to get away from the real problems. We are very well off, if one of us didn't work for a few years and we'd make ends meet fine.

I for now am handling situation bit I feel depressed. I don't want to think of the future. When we got married we voved to build a family together through sickness and health. I'm feeling ever more lonely in trying to keep that proposition going one-sided.

I have this energy and still in athlete shape; and I spend it with my son, but I feel like she's a ticking time bomb who won't leave me with a family, instead I see her becoming fully disabled, me pushing her around on a wheelchair after she did nothing right now while she could to build our family. 

Should I accept this and because she's making money find ways to make the best of it? I've lost a lot of feelings as an husband, I act more as a father figure and I can't do both.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

This must be frustrating as you know that if she ate better, had a good nights sleep and took care of her self she would be much more healthy. Her comment that she can lie down because she earns more is awful, and to be honest I have to wonder why you married her. If she is that tired then why is she watching TV till midnight? Its also bad for your son to just be sat in front of the tv all the time.

MY advise would be to tell her how desperate you feel, that you just cant carry on like this, and tell her that you want to go to Marriage counselling with her. 

I hate to think of what may happen with your son if you left him with her. You say he has challenges, are these due to the situation?


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

onehanded said:


> I've been married for almost 10 years. I have been constantly fighting with wife to move forward in my career and family. My wife suffers from various ailments along with a disability. She has had the disability from before i met her and she coped well with it. However she has additional underlying health problems that causes her to basically just go to work and basically come home and lie down and not participate in house activities. Our son who also has challenges, I've take on the lion share of after school activities. She shows very little interest other then take him home and put him in front of the tv.
> 
> Worse she does nothing to address health issues. For example she'll be sick for 2 months straight with fever, headaches, sinus, coughs and she will come home and eat chips and coke. She take heavy doses of otc medicines, watches tv until midnight and doesn't sleep. She wont even go to the doctor. She had been recommended surgery for one her problems, vs a 30% chance of a instaneous brain hemmorage, and she has not even followed in 6 years, becuz she is too scared to think about it.
> 
> ...


Hell no you should not accept this! You have a right to be happy and she is not honoring her vows to you. She feels she has the upper hand because she makes more money than you. You need to force the issue to some kind of conclusion. The sooner the better for your peace of mind. You are wasting you life until this is fixed. Good luck


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

If by extending the family you mean having more kids with her, then you would be crazy. 

Absolutely do not bring more children into this situation.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Some people have serious challenges and problems.
They make ours look better and easier.
This is the case with respect to you and your marriage.

This is a terrible answer from me.

I would look at extricating myself from her.

At the earliest, a year.
At the latest, when your child turns eighteen. 

It is not fair.

You wanted to get married and have a normal life.
Instead you are serving a jail sentence for loitering too long with this sad person who is your' wife.


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

Now is the time to divorce her. She won't get better - it will just get worse. Ask for primary custody and child support. Since she makes more than you she will have to pay you child support for the difference in your incomes. You want more kids/family ? With her ? Why ? Do that with someone who is going to share the responsibilities and pull their own weight in chores and being a parent.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

How much overweight is she? How often are you two having sex?

Sounds like a miserable way to live. If you're finally sick and tired of being sick and tired, then take action. Only you can make yourself happy, so get to work. Don't complain. Just take action!


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