# Still No Oral... Sorry!



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Third time is not a charm. I again brought up my husband's recent refusal to perform oral on me when he got frisky tonight - needless to say he seemed annoyed. He implies this shouldn't bother me so much, that I should just accept this indefinite arrangement without complaint. I had just showered, too, so hygiene isn't an issue.

I'm hurt because this was a very regular occurrence for me up until a few weeks ago. Because I am pregnant, he feels I am different, "more potent" were his exact words. (Note - he'd been performing oral on me while pregnant for the last 7 months... So why now)?

Can I understand the discomfort? Sure! There have been a lot of times I performed on him and he tasted different - stronger, weaker, etc. (Based on his diet? I think this is why it varies). There were times I performed on him as soon as he got off work - after running around in the hot sun all day... And I never refused. I never even mentioned to him that he might have needed a shower, or change his diet, etc. (He has not mentioned those things to me, just to be clear).

He used his hands on me as foreplay tonight, and I randomly pulled his hand up to our faces and tasted for myself - honestly there wasn't a difference! I encouraged him to do the same, to which he reluctantly tried. 

Probably the reason this hurts me so much is everyday I see my husband do disgusting things - like break fish oil capsules in his mouth, or chew valarian root tablets (they smell like FEET! I kid you not!) In the past I've also seen him drink those green alfalfa supplements which are also pretty gnarly. How can *I* be worse than that, and not notice??? 

I suggested flavored lubricants and he still declined. I have a feeling that dental dams, fresh showers, hell, leaving my panties on aren't going to sway him. I'm upset that he isn't even open to compromise!

Am I over-reacting here or is he being selfish? It's a big deal to me and I feel so rejected and confused by this. Especially since he worked so hard to get me to accept receiving oral in the first place!

Thoughts, suggestions, ideas?

Sorry for the repeat threads, but this is really upsetting me and I'm tired of being blown off (no pun intended) 
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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If my husband refused to do oral on me, I would stop all oral on him. Not as revenge but because I would feel that there is something very missing.

You are due pretty soon, right? I've heard that some guys get a bit freaked out as their wife's pregnancy advances. Maybe that's the issue.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

If that is the issue, he isn't telling me and is content letting me feel quite bad about something I A.) Can't notice B.) Can't change and C.) Can't find a solution to.

I have stopped performing oral on him, despite the fact that I really do enjoy it - and he is okay with that. 

And yes, this whole deal makes me feel as though something is very wrong and I feel powerless to find a solution. 
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## flnative (Jul 16, 2011)

There is nothing wrong with. You said you took all steps to be sure you were clean and he still refused. He was doing this all along until recently. There is something going on with him that he's not telling you. But to be clear it's him, not you. Don't let this give you grief because you think it is something you are or aren't doing. 

I'd keep talking about it to find out what the real problem is.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Have you point blank asked him if it has to do with your pregnancy?
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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Hmm... It could be due to your pregnancy but I wouldn't rule out something else. I think you need to point blank ask. If it is due to pregnancy then maybe he just has a problem with it and it should return to normal once you deliver. If not, then you will now it is something else.
He is a lucky guy as I have to beg my wife to go down on her and vice versa.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

when my wife was prego she deffinatly had a stronger taste and was much more wet.

It didn't bother me it was kinda nice.

I wouldn't make a big deal about it unless he refuses after you had the baby.

oh she also had hemroids and that was alittle of a turn off but not so much as to not lick the kitty.

I remember hearing oral sex while prgo can be dangerous if you blow air up there but who the hell dose that while giving oral?


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

If you are that far along, maybe he is just worried about having your water break in his mouth or something crazy?? I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I tend to have really weird dreams, and when I was preggo that was one of them LOL.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Princess this has something to do with your pregnancy and how he sees it in his mind.

Whatever it is he's wrong but it isn't you.
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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Thank you all for responding. I guess there isn't much I can do about it, even though this really upsets me. I would have least thought we could come up with a compromise, but I guess that isn't going to happen. I would have totally understood his feelings if I could tell there was a difference in smell or taste, but I can honestly say there isn't - so it must be psychological on his part. I remember having more vast changes in that department throughout monthly cycles before I was pregnant, so this is really confusing to me... 

I'm worried that things will not go back to normal after the baby is born - especially if he watches it. I've heard this can be very traumatic for guys! LoL! It maybe appears that he may have had just one unpleasant experience and has now written it off indefinitely. I am not okay with that! 

I can relate to the men's bj threads more than ever right now - it's not just about the physical pleasure; it feels like a rejection of you as you are... And isn't that a nice feeling... 

Well I guess we will see if there's a difference... In TWO months! 

Oh - and no hemmroids, Chilly! Thank goodness! LoL!
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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I'm wondering if it might be that your belly freaks him out? Maybe he was down there, looked up and saw baby moving? And he can't admit it because he knows it's silly? I'm sorry, I know how you feel. One time my h went down the day after we had sex and then decided I smelled and he didn't want to do it anymore. I told him he was smelling his own semen! He still hardly ever does it and it does feel like rejection. I hope he goes back to the way he was after baby is born!
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## maggot brain (Nov 28, 2010)

Sorry to hear about this because as someone who loves oral I can relate. I would just enjoy other aspects for now and look forward to the mind-blowing orgasm you'll have in a few months when you guys 69. When his neck is in a vice (your thighs) with kitty juice dripping all over him and he fears for his life he'll think twice before cutting off the licky-licky again.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> when my wife was prego she deffinatly had a stronger taste and was much more wet.
> 
> It didn't bother me it was kinda nice.
> 
> ...


I just had to say that you are hilarious! Lick the kitty? Blowing air up there? The visual I got made me burst out laughing. Thanks man, I needed the laugh.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

YinPrincess said:


> Thank you all for responding. I guess there isn't much I can do about it, even though this really upsets me. I would have least thought we could come up with a compromise, but I guess that isn't going to happen. I would have totally understood his feelings if I could tell there was a difference in smell or taste, but I can honestly say there isn't - so it must be psychological on his part. I remember having more vast changes in that department throughout monthly cycles before I was pregnant, so this is really confusing to me...
> 
> I'm worried that things will not go back to normal after the baby is born - especially if he watches it. I've heard this can be very traumatic for guys! LoL! It maybe appears that he may have had just one unpleasant experience and has now written it off indefinitely. I am not okay with that!
> 
> ...


Seeing my wife give birth did not hurt my willingness to go down on her - after things had healed of course.

It may be hard, but just give him some time. Maybe sometime after the baby is born - and you are ready - try initiating oral with him. If he doesn't reciprocate - try talking to him again. Just not sure that pushing the issue right now will help you much...sorry...


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Yeah I don't push it too much, but I get the feeling my comments might have made him uncomfortable. Its not like I'm following him around the house all day begging for it though - it's just weird not having that as a part of our routine! I'm also just hung up on all the other stuff he puts in his mouth voluntarily that doesn't necessarily taste good, (even to him), and yet he won't agree to a compromise with me. Even worse, I am unable to see a difference - so am I going crazy or is he just messing with me?  So it's psychological or it's about control. I wouldn't care if he called it either way, at least it could be substantiated to a degree. I guess I feel slighted for all the times I did it for him when he wasn't his best - because I love and accept him as he is - and when it comes to me - he isn't that way with me. It makes me think he doesn't love me as much, or the same way I love him. It's just a mind-trip, I'm sure. But I'm feeling pretty awful about it. :/ Sex itself is down to once a week, if not longer. Are you kidding me? At this time in my pregnancy I want it everyday! LoL!
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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Is he up for intercourse? Manual stimulation? Have you ever masturbated together?

Hopefully the oral "lull" is temporary - but there are still plenty of other things you can do that shouldn't cause the same issues for him.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Nice - Yes. Every so often he'll approach me for lovin' - it seems like I get turned down when it's my idea though. Sometimes there's other play involved - sometimes not. He's actually really, really good with his hands - but it's not the same...

Three - yes I've thought long and hard about that. He's supposed to be sober - but I have to question it here lately. 
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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Or did you mean the supplements he is taking? I don't know if that would affect one's sexual drive, but I guess I couldn't rule it out. He loves supplements, really, it seems like he likes anything in a pill form that he can take - prescription or not...
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## Idun (Jul 30, 2011)

You mention how you would go down on him after he's been at work all day because you love him - I wonder if Acts of Service is your top love language? Also you say he doesn't like sex when it's your idea, I can tell you now my SO is the same. He seems to be much less interested in sex if I initiate or if I complain about not getting enough or not getting oral. For him it comes down to control, he hates feeling like he's doing what he's told and much prefers the challenge of pursuing me. So even when I'm in the mood I'll be playfully hard to get. He doesn't seem to enjoy giving oral, and I don't really like receiving from someone who's not enjoying doing it. So I feel a bit cut about that. He is however enthusiastic to give oral when we're doing 69, so if I'm in the mood for oral I'll suggest that. 

If you're taking vitamins that have fish oil it can certainly affect your taste as will the hormones of pregnancy in general. And you may not be able to smell the difference either as you're smell is affected too. I personally would have felt wierded out receiving oral at 7 months pregnancy, I don't think it's surprising that a man might feel the same because he's performing a sexual act right where the baby is going to come out and he's only centimeters away from the baby! That in itself might feel 'wrong' to him. It's less personal to use hands/penis than having your face down there. Thats just my take on it as a woman and after 3 babies. Just because it doesn't make you uncomfortable please don't think he loves you less if he feels that way. It's a pretty big thing for a man to see his woman change so much and become a mummy. I would avoid mentioning it anymore because then he might actually avoid doing it as doing it would make him feel like he's just doing what he's told. Play hard to get, playful, and let him chase you. If he doesnt chase you pretend like you dont care and please yourself instead! Easier said than done I'm sure, hugs to you! It's not easy being preggers.
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