# I Have A Bad Crush... Looking For Support



## sickinthemind (Aug 10, 2011)

Okay, I've been in my fair share of relationships, and a few years ago I came to the conclusion that I would NEVER have strong feelings towards someone like I did when I was a teenager. My last relationship.... I loved him, but we were never really in LOVE, and I never felt extremely amorous about him.

Now to the weird part. I started working in a new office, and there is this guy, and no kidding here, made my heart pound through my ears the moment we made eye contact. He came to the office I was at before transfering to the new one to meet me and tell me how to get into the building. He's kinda my supervisor but not like my boss boss, if you know what I mean. More like a shift supervisor, I suppose.

He's such my type it is scary. He's not like drop-dead hot like David Boreanez or anything, but he's definately cute. He's in his early forties, kinda short (but taller than me), kinda stocky, but a fantastic smile. He's really funny and smart, and he has a lot of the same interests as me.

I just want to make this clear: I DON'T CRUSH ON PEOPLE! I've meet and hung out with guys who I wound't mind dating, but this.... I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE!! It's been like this for the past few weeks. Between our introduction and me working with him was about a month, and I was just attracted to him. But now that we work together about 6 hours a week....

He's kinda flirty with me, but not overtly. One time he did something right and said, "How does he do it? He's so smart, funny, and good-looking, too." I laughed. Last time I saw him he said he had to leave at his scheduled time no matter what, and I said, "Really? No matter what?"

"Come hell or high water, I'm leaving."

"Even if I beg?"

He than said, "Okay, fine, I'll stay. And when I get called in at 3am I'll call you up and say, 'Oh, hey Amanda, how's it going? Your clock says three am? So does mine!"

I then told him I wouldn't mind, and he smiled. I've caught him watching me every once in awhile (but maybe he's seeing if I'm messing things up). Sometimes looking down at my chest very, very briefly. He's been getting a little more flirtier every week. This is week three, and I'll be in his office at the end of this week (I'm shared between the offices, you see).

Anyways, if there are any drugs you can give me to deal with this via online, that would be much appreciated.


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## Erudite30 (Aug 9, 2011)

The only problem with pursuing this from your post is that he is your supervisor. This could cause problems if you ever split or had a rough patch in your relationship. For me, never dating co-workers was on the "don't **** where you eat" principle.

Well, ultimately it is up to you. Seems like you have fallen for this person. If I were you, I would pursue it and see where it goes.

Just, try to make keep it undercover at work until one of your situations change.


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## sickinthemind (Aug 10, 2011)

Erudite: If he and I were to start dating, I would just request to go back to the other office, where our boss actually wants me. His office is just closer to were I live.

So... I guess I just need help interpreting his actions. I WON'T come out and say, "Hey, do you wanna get a drink with me?" Because I would probably drop dead from the embarresment. I want him to ask me. In my stalker-like manner, I found out he's been living in the area for less than three years, is a workaholic, and hasn't dated anyone. Some of the people in the building accuse him of being gay (and a few of them still come by to flirt with him, which he completely ignores and even seems to be annoyed by). I just don't know if he's just being friendly to me because we work together or if he's actually minutely attracted to me...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So being that you've posted this on a marriage forum...are you married? Is he married?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sickinthemind (Aug 10, 2011)

Erm... no... I thought that this was a general relationship board. BUT I WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM!!! I know it sounds crazy... I'm a repected professional, I'm mature, I've HAD serious near-mariage relationships, and as I've stated before... I never thought I would fall so hard for someone as an adult!

So that's why....


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

Reality check, is he married? divorced? does he have kids? If he has kids does he spend time with them or is he always working? Romances in the work place are especially common for middle aged men whether they are married or not. What is the age difference between the two of you?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

If you are both single, it sure sounds as if the 'sparks' are there for you to pursue a relationship. However, as Eurodite30 has stated, dating someone you work with, especially a supervisor, may eventually mean you will need to find another job if it doesn't work out...or if it does work out if company policy is against your dating.


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## sickinthemind (Aug 10, 2011)

RiversideMFT: Don't think is ever been married, and is definately not in a relationship right now. No kids. Our company actually doesn't have a strict rule against it, though I am more than willing to commute farther to the other office to work if we were to start something.

But... does it sound like he's interested in me? Or am I crazy?! I'll post more about our interactions when I work with him again on Thursday...


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## sickinthemind (Aug 10, 2011)

He's older than me... When we first started working he kept making comments about me being young and him being old, like "Back when I was trained if we did that they would cut our hands off." I turned to him and told him he's not old, and he turned away and mumbled.

He's the same age as my ex, though.... yeah, there is a bit of an age difference.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

sickinthemind said:


> Erm... no... I thought that this was a general relationship board. BUT I WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM!!! I know it sounds crazy... I'm a repected professional, I'm mature, I've HAD serious near-mariage relationships, and as I've stated before... I never thought I would fall so hard for someone as an adult!
> 
> So that's why....


Erm...the marriage part had to be ruled out before moving further. Since the website is alled talkaboutmarriage, mostly people post about their marriages, etc. 

You say you have a crush... then you say you want a relationship with him and in another thread you called it a "horrifyingly strong crush." This sounds obsessive. Also you mentioned that you were going to prepare your "bleeding heart" if he told you he was into another woman at your job when she gave you something to hand off to him... This does sound over the top, IMO. First you need to focus on the fact that you work with this man. I personally have never thought it's a good idea to get involved iwth someone at work, much less a superior at work. That just has disaster spelled all over it. Secondly, without asking him you will never know. Now the thing is, if he isn't receptive, you are going to feel awkward/weird at work and hopefully he won't be put in a strange position where he feels you may lash out at him if he doesn't return your feelings. After all, his job is at stake. Thirdly, wanting "to be in a relationship" you barely know is reaching a bit. Usually people get to know someone first before entertaining the idea of wanting a relationship with them. 

I'd advise you to try to keep it cool at work and be professional. If this "horrifyingly strong crush" starts effecting your work ethic, then you may want to re-think this whole situation.


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

I have a pretty good job, and a number of years ago I got involved with a co-worker. 

Horrible idea. 

If/when it doesn't work out there are about 20,000 issues to deal with. Mainly having to see them every day even when you'd rather not.


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