# Weighing out the pros and cons



## 3773519 (Sep 24, 2009)

PRO: Hes a great father to our son.
CON: He sweats and jokes in a funny yet serious tone about not wanting any more kids..

PRO: Hes domesticated and used to be a couch potato but has become more sociable by coming out with me and my friends more often
CON: Complains that when we go out, I am too cool with my friends and that i need to come and be by his side more often(i hate babysitting ppl)

CON: We dont have enough sex! Maybe 2-3 times a month, and thats if we are having a civil month.
CON: I have to ask(pretty much beg) for it and when i initate he tells me his usual line"im tired" that hes been using for over 4 years now...

PRO: he gave counceling a chance after not really wanting to do it..
CON: he went to 3 sessions.and then quit or found excuses...

PRO: hes going to school full time at a trade school
CON: the financial issues are always on my shoulder, and if it wasnt for me telling him i had one foot out the door for him not being driven enough to want to better his or our lives he would of stood in his little side jobs never making any money!!

PRO: he wants to work things out..He is always the one that does...never has given a feeling or said he wants to move on
CON: I have been ready to walk out the door for 4 years now..and feel trapped...

PRO: He cooks(lol)
CON:NONE He cooks! and knows i hate to cook...

CON: Did i mention we dont have sex enough??
CON: My self esteem is gone just like our sex!

PRO: Hes been trying to tell me more about what he has in mind and how he feels
CON: he still keeps alot of things that i dont find no reason to keep from me....

PRO: he wants to get married
CON: we've been together for 7 yrs and i still have yet to get a ring, and then he complains about the ring i want....and wants to get me something thats cheap!

What do i do? I wanna cheat but if thats the case, then i should leave...


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Sounds like you should leave. You haven't been commited for the last 4 years. That's over half of the time you've been together. And you want to cheat.

What's the hold up on leaving then?


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## 3773519 (Sep 24, 2009)

my son..and the pro's...i keep thinking i need to be more dedicated...but the cons bore me and strain me...I dont have any doubts i love him but i just feel like maybe hes grown to be someone else that just doesnt go with who i have grown to be..i dont wanna cheat, but i feel like to be content in certain departments like sex then i need to find someone else.but the thought and the attempt doesnt feel right or good.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I think you know what you have to do but are afraid. You haven't been dedicated for 4 years. What do you think is going to change within you?


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Sounds like you need more intimacy and he isn't capable of giving it. If you have these feelings now it will get worse. I think your looking for a few people to say cheat or move on so you can feel your making the right decision.. Kids are not the reason only to stay and it sure seems like that is the ONLY reason.. I would lay it all on the line to him. Say hey this is how I feel and this is what I want.. You have 2 choices. Make some changes or I am gone. Putting foot down will make your decision clearer..


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