# I'm invited to an event and the OW will



## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

be there. We have a few of the same friends from FB, they don't know I want to tell them to watch their back. 
I'm not sure if I will be going to the event but I will most likely donate something and call it a day.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I'd go and stare the b**** down.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> I'd go and stare the b**** down.


easier said then done


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

lovemylife26 said:


> easier said then done


Do NOT let the OW run your life.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Oh and tell the friends that she is the OW


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> easier said then done


drink a few glasses of wine and THEN stare her down.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

I made it clear the POS OM since we have friends in common that if I ever ran into him............! He will not be showing up anywhere that I will be.

Do not let her run your life. Own your life! let us know how it went!


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

Seriously, you are above this woman. You have the upper hand and you are his Queen. Let her know just how much you don't appreciate her presence in your kingdom. Banish the *****.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

I hate to ask the obvious...but WHY don't your FB friends know? She should be shunned from ANY group/friend events.

After I threatened to jab Regret's xOM in the neck with a knife, our "friends" took his side. Well, it's also cuz they feel that I caused his divorce by telling his wife. 

Oh, well...they're not our "friends" any longer. If they aren't friends of your marriage, then you don't need them. I, for one, would let them know.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> I hate to ask the obvious...but WHY don't your FB friends know? She should be shunned from ANY group/friend events.
> 
> After I threatened to jab Regret's xOM in the neck with a knife, our "friends" took his side. Well, it's also cuz they feel that I caused his divorce by telling his wife.
> 
> Oh, well...they're not our "friends" any longer. If they aren't friends of your marriage, then you don't need them. I, for one, would let them know.


You know Dig. 

It might have been easier taking your "friend" for a ride in a jet, getting up to 15,ooo feet. Opening the door and telling him "Since you enjoyed riding my wife for so long, lets see how much you enjoy riding this plane without me flying it and then jumping out with your parachute strapped on"

Ah you are right. The knife in the neck was easier. And a lot cheaper too! Lol!

Screw those friends. You and Regret do not need them.

HM64


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Thanks HM64. You're right..we do NOT need them in our lives. Oh, and the knife is wayyyy cheaper, too. That jet chartered for $3500 an hour....then again, who could put a price on the look he would've had?!! LOL

However, for lovemylife, I think the need to rise above is higher than any kind of retribution that could be served. Letting the FB friends know, IMO, is best in the long run. Find out who the REAL friends are.

I did. The one's who care are still by our sides.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> be there. We have a few of the same friends from FB, they don't know I want to tell them to watch their back.
> I'm not sure if I will be going to the event but I will most likely donate something and call it a day.


Oh! Just think of all the fun you could have! By getting several people to stare her down!:FIREdevil:


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

It is hard to guide you since I don't know exactly how the OW is connected to your circle of friends. 

You MUST avoid is the feeling you have any in what happened. If this is an event you want to attend, you should attend it. If the OW is still going to be "around" it is best you deal with it now rather than later.

If my husband wound up hooking up with her and I found out she had already messed with your husband...I would be none too pleased with you my friend. Again, not knowing the details but you need to shut the OW down from operating out of your circle. Ask yourself these questions: Do I have a moral obligation to warn my friends about the OW? Would I want to know about this OW in order to protect what is mine?

Please know that it is okay if you don't want to go. If you have no desire to deal with the sight of the OW you are well within your right not to. Be good to yourself and do what you feel most comfortable but please think about letting the others know about her. You could potentially save someone all the pain you went through.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

Falene said:


> If my husband wound up hooking up with her and I found out she had already messed with your husband...I would be none too pleased with you my friend.



This is possibly the most excellent point yet. It's almost like a duty of yours to warn your friends of this predatory woman. She should be taught a valuable lesson. What she did was abusive (as well as him) and abusers should always pay.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

The OW is from my home town, went to the same school so we had the same friends.
What do I say to my friends be careful and watch your back she is a *****.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Actually, I would just say, "Hey..you know OW had an affair with my husband. We're working on our marriage, but she's a f'ng skank."

Or maybe something nicer. IDK


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> The OW is from my home town, went to the same school so we had the same friends.
> What do I say to my friends be careful and watch your back she is a *****.


Say nothing to your friends about this "predatory woman".

I don't know your backstory but this predator wouldn't have any claws or teeth if it's "prey" wasn't suseptable to it in the first place.

Once again we are placing blame on an uninterested third party, one who didn't break a vow of trust and doesn't care about you, your friends or anyone else.

If it's that easy for her to grab these husbands and boyfriends away, then maybe she should just take them.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

donders said:


> Say nothing to your friends about this "predatory woman".
> 
> I don't know your backstory but this predator wouldn't have any claws or teeth if it's "prey" wasn't suseptable to it in the first place.
> 
> ...


Are you a cheater by any chance? Your take on infidelity seems the same as the trolls that come here from the cheater websites.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

I like the poster that used to be here that kept up with the principle that cheated with the posters wife. First he got the princple fired. As soon as he found out where the principle moved to, he would send the board of education a letter informing them of what kind of man he was.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

donders said:


> Say nothing to your friends about this "predatory woman".
> 
> I don't know your backstory but this predator wouldn't have any claws or teeth if it's "prey" wasn't suseptable to it in the first place.
> 
> ...


We girls, we don't want women in our circle that do married men. Doesn't matter how old we are but once we get married...most of us like to keep women like that away. Go figure. 

This "uninterested" party was interested enough to wreck havoc in the faithful spouse's life. I get your point that the OW isn't the one that broke marriage vows, etc. but your presentation simply blows.

Just because the "crime" of the OW/OM is not as great as the cheating spouse's doesn't mean that they should not be held accountable for what they have done.

EDIT: I am wondering if someone held you accountable for your actions? It wasn't a pleasant experience?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> The OW is from my home town, went to the same school so we had the same friends.
> What do I say to my friends be careful and watch your back she is a *****.


Try this: "Well, you think you know someone. I'd have trusted her with my life. However, what I found out was that I couldn't trust her with my husband! She managed to snag him into an affair!

_{{{*say this next piece with a shocked realisation tone of voice*}}}_"Oh, gee! I wonder how many other husbands in our circle she has snared into cheating on their wives? It makes you think, doesn't it? It could be any one of you, and unless you happened to find out, like I did, you'd never even know she was having sex with them!"

Good hunting!


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

chapparal said:


> Are you a cheater by any chance? Your take on infidelity seems the same as the trolls that come here from the cheater websites.


 I have had a similar thought
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

donders said:


> Say nothing to your friends about this "predatory woman".
> 
> I don't know your backstory but this predator wouldn't have any claws or teeth if it's "prey" wasn't suseptable to it in the first place.
> 
> ...


And maybe these friends husbands might find themselves "suseptable" to being the OW's prey, and should be alerted as the potential danger. There is no good reason at all for the OP not to warn the friends of the potential danger of this OW. I would want to know and would be offended if the OP didn't, at the very least, point her out.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

chapparal said:


> Are you a cheater by any chance? Your take on infidelity seems the same as the trolls that come here from the cheater websites.


Nope, never cheated or been cheated on.

Seems fairly obvious when a relationship partner cheats, they're the problem not the person they choose to have an affair with.

That other person could be anyone. 

Maybe because I have not cheated or been cheated on I have a clearer head and am not biased by my emotions as many here obviously are.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

donders said:


> Nope, never cheated or been cheated on.
> 
> Seems fairly obvious when a relationship partner cheats, they're the problem not the person they choose to have an affair with.
> 
> ...


donders

i hope you do not have this wise ass attitude in your current relationship because it will get you nothing more than trouble in your life and you will end up on this site for a real reason.

HM64


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

happyman64 said:


> donders
> 
> i hope you do not have this wise ass attitude in your current relationship because it will get you nothing more than trouble in your life and you will end up on this site for a real reason.
> 
> HM64


I'm a wise ass because my opinion differs from yours?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Does anyone else think we have one amongst us? I am getting the vibe. You know what I am talking about, TAMers.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

donders said:


> I'm a wise ass because my opinion differs from yours?


thats funny donders. i was not offering an opinion.

but maybe you can start your own thread and we can give you some opinions that might help you for whatever it is that is troubling you.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Does anyone else think we have one amongst us? I am getting the vibe. You know what I am talking about, TAMers.


Yes Jelly. Something smells.....


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)




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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Does anyone else think we have one amongst us? I am getting the vibe. You know what I am talking about, TAMers.


I hear ya!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

donders said:


> Nope, never cheated or been cheated on.
> 
> Seems fairly obvious when a relationship partner cheats, they're the problem not the person they choose to have an affair with.
> 
> ...


i still don't see how your input is necessarily more valuable than anyone else's.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

lovemylife26 said:


> The OW is from my home town, went to the same school so we had the same friends.
> What do I say to my friends be careful and watch your back she is a *****.


You know your friends better than I but you probably only have to tell the right handful of them and the news will run like wildfire through the entire group. Gotta love us women! lol

I would be brief but clear. Keep name calling out of it. Just a simple advisement that she cheated with your husband, that you are attempting R (the girls will want to know that) and you want to make sure they are warned before something like that happens to them. In essence, just tell them the truth.



donders said:


> Nope, never cheated or been cheated on.
> 
> Seems fairly obvious when a relationship partner cheats, they're the problem not the person they choose to have an affair with.
> 
> ...


You are bugging me.

Yes Einstein, the main problem for the betrayed spouse lies within their partner's betrayal.

Yes, the other person could be anyone but often it isn't. It is a friend, a relative or a neighbor.

There is a vast difference between being uninformed and not cheated on. 

Have you ever had to hold the hand of someone who is exposed to STDs because of an affair? An early warning could have started treatment early or prevented it entirely.

When was the last time you had to hold sobbing children because they became aware of their parent's infidelity? A heads up could have prevented such a disclosure to a mind that isn't old enough to deal with it.

Have you ever stood with your broken life at your feet wishing with all your heart you had of known sooner so you could have better protected yourself and your children from it all?

How about you consider yourself lucky you have never been cheated on and proud of yourself that you have never cheated instead of throwing your emotionless and uninformed comments around in here?

This is the forum "Coping With Infidelity". Why are you here?


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## cabin fever (Feb 9, 2012)

luckily I don't have any common friends with OM. 

I know for sure, there is no F'n way I could be in the same room with him. 

I don't get scared very much, but I am petrified to think what I will do to him, if I'm around him. 

I agree with dig too. I'd out her azz as fast as possible. let EVERYONE know she is skank.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

Falene said:


> Yes Einstein, the main problem for the betrayed spouse lies within their partner's betrayal.


Thanks for the compliment! I am in fact in Mensa. (Top 2% IQ)



Falene said:


> Yes, the other person could be anyone but often it isn't. It is a friend, a relative or a neighbor.


They are still "anybody" as in "not the person who promised to love, respect and be faithful til death due us part". The other person is not the problem, they are just someone who took advantage of an opportunity that came their way. 



Falene said:


> There is a vast difference between being uninformed and not cheated on.


Ok, that's true, its like saying apples and oranges are not the same fruit. 



Falene said:


> Have you ever had to hold the hand of someone who is exposed to STDs because of an affair? An early warning could have started treatment early or prevented it entirely.


No I never held hands with a person who was exposed to an STD from an affair and I am aware that the sooner a person knows they have an illness the sooner they can treat it. 



Falene said:


> When was the last time you had to hold sobbing children because they became aware of their parent's infidelity? A heads up could have prevented such a disclosure to a mind that isn't old enough to deal with it.


See my response above it's basically the same. 



Falene said:


> Have you ever stood with your broken life at your feet wishing with all your heart you had of known sooner so you could have better protected yourself and your children from it all?


Again, see response above, the short answer is no, and the longer answer is the sooner we have knowledge to deal with an issue the more effective we can be at dealing with it. So?



Falene said:


> How about you consider yourself lucky you have never been cheated on and proud of yourself that you have never cheated instead of throwing your emotionless and uninformed comments around in here?


I consider it a combination of luck, making good relationship choices, and not giving them a reason to stray by being aware of their needs, emotions, etc. It's common knowledge that people cheat because they're not getting what they need from their relationship. Sure it's cowardly, it's deceptive, it's "morally wrong", and people get hurt, but it happens and there are ways to prevent it by being in touch with your partner and having open communication.



Falene said:


> This is the forum "Coping With Infidelity". Why are you here?


You can't post here if you haven't been cheated on?

I didn't know that please point to where it says that.


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## cabin fever (Feb 9, 2012)

donders said:


> Thanks for the compliment! I am in fact in Mensa. (Top 2% IQ)
> 
> 
> 
> ...


it doesn't, but like I tell my child mr 2%........just cause you can do something, doesn't mean you should.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

cabin fever said:


> it doesn't, but like I tell my child mr 2%........just cause you can do something, doesn't mean you should.


I completely agree.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

donders said:


> I completely agree.


so when do you plan to apply that knowledge.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Saying you're in MENSA with a sense of braggadocio is akin to claiming to be a Navy SEAL.

Usually, you never know cuz real heroes don't feel a need to talk about it.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Saying you're in MENSA with a sense of braggadocio is akin to claiming to be a Navy SEAL.
> 
> Usually, you never know cuz real heroes don't feel a need to talk about it.


I was referred to as being on par with Einstein, and I was agreeing with the person who wrote it (and yes I'm proud of that achievement).



NextTimeAround said:


> so when do you plan to apply that knowledge.


Even when you agree with someone here you get blasted for it.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

We know that Einstein didn't have any common sense either.

I always loved the sitcom Frasier because one of the many long running jokes in the story line is that one person who had a lot of common sense about life was the father who held not one single university degree, let alone one or two from Harvard.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I always loved the sitcom Frasier because one of the many long running jokes in the story line is that one person who had a lot of common sense about life was the father


The father treated the dog like it was a human being.

That doesn't make any sense.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

donders said:


> It's common knowledge that people cheat because they're not getting what they need from their relationship. Sure it's cowardly, it's deceptive, it's "morally wrong", and people get hurt, but it happens and there are ways to prevent it by being in touch with your partner and having open communication.


If there's a single misconception about cheating, this has to be it. There were more than a few silent chuckles before computer screens around the world when you posted that one.

You may have a fab IQ rating from MENSA, but wisdom, of which a major component is humility, is far more impressive to the average adult.

Since you seem to enjoy 'slumming it' over here in CWI, perhaps you could turn your keen mind toward reading original research and studies on marital infidelity. A very significant percentage of cheaters are narcissists, people who commit adultery because they confuse "wants" and "needs." In fact, it's quite safe to say that this is THE salient trait in cheaters, the inability to make this distinction. But then, it shouldn't take Einstein to figure out that extraordinarily selfish behavior is often driven by....extraordinarily selfish people.

Please go read the book linked in my signature, Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass, she was a nationally recognized researcher in infidelity. Her book contains copious notes citing the studies that she references. 

But I realize that takes more time and effort than hanging out on an Internet forum, posting stuff that every layperson already knows. If every layperson already knows it, then how does that constitute useful advice?


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> If there's a single misconception about cheating, this has to be it. There were more than a few silent chuckles before computer screens around the world when you posted that one.
> 
> You may have a fab IQ rating from MENSA, but wisdom, of which a major component is humility, is far more impressive to the average adult.
> 
> ...


:allhail:


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

donders said:


> I consider it a combination of luck, making good relationship choices, and not giving them a reason to stray by being aware of their needs, emotions, etc. It's common knowledge that people cheat because they're not getting what they need from their relationship. Sure it's cowardly, it's deceptive, it's "morally wrong", and people get hurt, but it happens and there are ways to prevent it by being in touch with your partner and having open communication.


No person can always meet his/her partner's needs all the time. People who are good partners and strive to meet their partner's needs get cheated on all the time.

You show your lack of life experience in even saying an affair can be prevented as if the betrayed partner had any power over it at all.



donders said:


> You can't post here if you haven't been cheated on?
> 
> I didn't know that please point to where it says that.


You previously mentioned you have not cheated/have not been cheated on.

I stated this is the "Coping With Infidelity" forum and asked why you were here. You have been posting here frequently with no apparent connection to the forum's main topic. 

I never said you could not post here so there is nothing for me to point out. You are free to post in any forum you like. 

Good job on the Mensa gig.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Does anyone else think we have one amongst us? I am getting the vibe. You know what I am talking about, TAMers.


I'm really trying my best not to respond!! But it's very difficult!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Falene said:


> We girls, we don't want women in our circle that do married men. Doesn't matter how old we are but once we get married...most of us like to keep women like that away. Go figure.
> 
> This "uninterested" party was interested enough to wreck havoc in the faithful spouse's life. I get your point that the OW isn't the one that broke marriage vows, etc. but your presentation simply blows.
> 
> ...


^^^^^^^^ agree
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

OP you should Definately expose the OW to your friends. 
As far as being in the same social setting as her?
Well it's a tough one. Do you really think you would be able to relax and enjoy? Have you been in her company since the discovery of the A?
I dreamt about what I would say or do do if I ever saw my Hs OW but when I actually saw her I reacted in a completely different way. I couldn't wait to get away from her and I was a bag of nerves. It was awful.
Just think about it hon. Don't put yourself in a situation that is going to be too uncomfortable for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

oaksthorne said:


> When you have not been in this situation everything seems so obvious to you. It isn't. Nothing clears your head like actually experiencing something. There are sexual predators of both sexes. If my H's OW had not been a determined competitor for another woman's H this A never would have happened. He was such a dumb ass that he didn't think she was serious ( she is married, and decades younger than he) She was also educated in Marriage and Family Therapy. She knew what she was doing and how harmful it was. Do you similarly excuse con artists who defraud people out of their life savings? No warning necessary there either? My H did choose to have an A, but only after being convinced that it would actually be good for his marriage and I would never find out. She also convinced him that he was entitled to have an A, it was his right. I said he was a dumb ass about women didn't I?. These friends need to be warned about this skank, I wish I had been.


It sounds like you're defending your husband, making him out to be some dumb victim of some manipulative player, and he had no choice in the matter and somehow got tricked into it. Just like the victims of a scam. I'll give you this much, while it might not be their "fault", when it comes to scams, some people are definitely more gullible than others, inversely proportional to their intelligence.

I'm not passing judgement on how smart or dumb (as you put it) your husband is, but I don't believe for a minute that your husband would not have cheated on you if this one particular person hadn't entered his life and convinced him it was good for his marriage.

I further suggest that you continue to hold onto this denial in order to cope and I understand why it's necessary to do exactly that.

You having been through this doesn't make you any more qualified than me to give advice, in fact this very post you made here makes it clear that you are still in a fog when it comes to why people cheat.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

oaksthorne said:


> Yet you think that others should be deprived of the right to know who they are associating with, so they can make an informed choice about whether they want this person in their lives or not.


I don't think people should be deprived of their rights, but at the same time no one is obligated to provide a perfect stranger with information that they might happen to obtain, whether or not it will benefit them to know it; especially if giving this information may cause them their own personal grief (in this case a greater chance of a high conflict, expensive divorce).




oaksthorne said:


> I must assume that you are told about your partners issues in order to be able to address them.


I am not told about my partner's issues, they just sort of come out and I address them as I find them. 



oaksthorne said:


> I am not psychic and I assume that you aren't either.


No such thing as psychics, so you're spot on right there.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

donders, why does everyone get a response to their post except for me? I'm starting to feel left out. Ah, always the bridesmaid, never the bride...so to speak.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> donders, why does everyone get a response to their post except for me? I'm starting to feel left out. Ah, always the bridesmaid, never the bride...so to speak.


Sorry. Here ya go.



iheartlife said:


> If there's a single misconception about cheating, this has to be it. There were more than a few silent chuckles before computer screens around the world when you posted that one.


How do you know, were you on video chat with them at the time?




iheartlife said:


> If every layperson already knows it, then how does that constitute useful advice?


Common knowledge doesn't mean everybody knows it, only that lots of people know it. It's useful advice if someone that doesn't know it, finds out about it.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

lovemylife26, 

I tried to find where you had said when the event is coming up--how long from now? I take it your husband isn't invited.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

donders said:


> Sorry. Here ya go.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




donders--I have a question for you, and it's meant very seriously, and out of (kind-hearted, well-meant) curiosity. Do you have any favorite comedy shows or movies? I think you said earlier you didn't care for Frasier. Any others that you like more?


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

next month and yes he is invited. I have crossed paths with her but I run so I don't see her, yah big chicken. My blood pressure boils and it's not good since I'm on meds to control it. I know she should not control my life and I should suck it up and be the bigger person.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> next month and yes he is invited. I have crossed paths with her but I run so I don't see her, yah big chicken. My blood pressure boils and it's not good since I'm on meds to control it. I know she should not control my life and I should suck it up and be the bigger person.


you. are. kidding. So does your husband want to go?


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> next month and yes he is invited. I have crossed paths with her but I run so I don't see her, yah big chicken. My blood pressure boils and it's not good since I'm on meds to control it. I know she should not control my life and I should suck it up and be the bigger person.


I'd still out her to the FB friends. But that's just me. I think if they kept it under her hat and then simply publicly shamed her and walked away it would be sweet justice.

Then again...I just love unicorns!


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> I'd still out her to the FB friends. *But that's just me. I think if they kept it under her hat and then simply publicly shamed her and walked away it would be sweet justice.*
> Then again...I just love unicorns!


I agree totally. I'm a firm beleiver in justice


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> donders--I have a question for you, and it's meant very seriously, and out of (kind-hearted, well-meant) curiosity. Do you have any favorite comedy shows or movies? I think you said earlier you didn't care for Frasier. Any others that you like more?


I like Frasier! Still making my way through DVR recordings of the series from a few years ago.




oaksthorne said:


> The fact that I have been through it does make me more qualified than you to talk about it. I have experience and you have conjecture and here say.


No, not necessarily. Not unless you really learned something from the experience. Otherwise, it's like saying you're a better driver than I am because you were involved in a major car accident.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

donders said:


> I like Frasier! Still making my way through DVR recordings of the series from a few years ago.


Me, too, actually! On hulu starting from the beginning.

Whew--for a few days there you had me convinced that you had zero sense of humor.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> Me, too, actually! On hulu starting from the beginning.
> 
> Whew--for a few days there you had me convinced that you had zero sense of humor.


My humor tends to be rather sarcastic, dry, and dark. 

Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm serious or not.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Indeed


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> you. are. kidding. So does your husband want to go?


Kidding about what? He does not really care, what we do it's up to me.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> Kidding about what? He does not really care, what we do it's up to me.


I meant, it concerned me that he was also invited, and perhaps was chomping at the bit to go. But that's a relief, so you don't have to turn this into some kind of showdown over whether or not he's going to see her there, with him insisting on going.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

donders said:


> You having been through this doesn't make you any more qualified than me to give advice, in fact this very post you made here makes it clear that you are still in a fog when it comes to why people cheat.


I had to respond on this one....I cdn't wait til end of thread so apologies if my answer is a bit late!

Donders, by these very words you show your complete lack of intelligence. You show you have absolutely no understanding of any situation, and probably more so than most on here, your own. Those words you utter are the most ignorant and unintelligent I have ever heard. You may be telling the truth on your IQ and if you are it only highlights the fact that you are one of these people with mental agility in certain areas and absolutely zero in all other areas. Like a severe autism or aspergers case is where I would put you.

Are you saying that someone who has no children is just as qualified as someone with to give advice on child rearing?

That someone who has never owned a dog is just as qualified as those with dogs to give advice on dog training and behaviour?

That someone who has never built a house has just as much right and is just as qualified to give advice on house building as someone who's career it is to build houses? 

I bet you have had cheating right under your nose and would never realise, because you are utterly in your own world of ignorance. 

My god! I would not want to be your wife. And I would not want to live in your house!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

donders said:


> The father treated the dog like it was a human being.
> 
> That doesn't make any sense.


It does to someone who likes and gets on well with dogs.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

oaksthorne said:


> When you have not been in this situation everything seems so obvious to you. It isn't. Nothing clears your head like actually experiencing something. There are sexual predators of both sexes. If my H's OW had not been a determined competitor for another woman's H this A never would have happened. He was such a dumb ass that he didn't think she was serious ( she is married, and decades younger than he) She was also educated in Marriage and Family Therapy. She knew what she was doing and how harmful it was. Do you similarly excuse con artists who defraud people out of their life savings? No warning necessary there either? My H did choose to have an A, but only after being convinced that it would actually be good for his marriage and I would never find out. She also convinced him that he was entitled to have an A, it was his right. I said he was a dumb ass about women didn't I?. These friends need to be warned about this skank, I wish I had been.


So she used the psychology and training in relationships she had to con someone into having an affair? 

That's like a trained locksmith becoming a burglar!


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## Bentley'sMom (Jul 10, 2012)

Make sure you are wearing a really nice outfit, get your hair done, hold your head up high! If I were her I'd be more worried you were there. Unless she is morally corrupt (oh yes she had an affair with a MM so that answers that!)

BTW I also am meant to have a high IQ that didn't stop me from marrying a narcissist and putting up/believing his lies for 12 years. It means nothing really, especially when it comes to other people. My Dad is super bright, Cambridge graduate speaks 6 languages, saves companies millions in tax, but he has no street smarts at all!


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

Remains said:


> Are you saying that someone who has no children is just as qualified as someone with to give advice on child rearing?


There are some really lousy parents out there. It's quite possible that a person with no kids is more qualified to give advice than a parent who is neglectful, abusive, indifferent, or just plain clueless.



Remains said:


> That someone who has never owned a dog is just as qualified as those with dogs to give advice on dog training and behaviour?


There are some dog owners who chain the poor thing to a tree and forget about it until one day it's rescued by a shelter or animal rights activist and they get all pissed off and say "who took my dog?". Someone like that is probably less qualified to give dog advice than a person who never had a dog but learned about them by reading books or on the internet.



Remains said:


> That someone who has never built a house has just as much right and is just as qualified to give advice on house building as someone who's career it is to build houses?


There are some really crappy contractors out there. They build houses that are unsafe, or that get condemned because they weren't built right, because they're either incompetant, a crook, a scammer, or they just don't care. 



Remains said:


> I bet you have had cheating right under your nose and would never realise, because you are utterly in your own world of ignorance.


That's entirely possible even though I never picked up on any signs of cheating in my marriage or any relationship subsequent to, or prior. How do we ever know unless we're with the person 24/7?



Remains said:


> My god! I would not want to be your wife. And I would not want to live in your house!


Fine! Consider yourself uninvited to my home, and the marriage proposal is off the table.


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