# Attraction/fantasy



## CootaCat5 (Jun 29, 2021)

Why do I still want to fantasize about that mom I spoke to at my kids preschool? Why do I think “dang her husband is lucky to have her to make love to”. Then I question my thinking.. “maybe he is not as excited about her as I am because he has her “. Btw when I have these thoughts I don’t ever take them past a fantasy. Guys are these thoughts normal? Im putting myself in a vulnerable position by asking this so please only answer to help me clarify if this is normal or not. Because it makes me question my own marriage like I should be seeing my wife this way all the time.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

If you’re asking whether it is normal to look at a woman, find her attractive, and have a lustful thought then I think yes that is normal.

However... when I look at my wife I also have lustful thoughts only I try to act on those as often as possible.

If you’re thinking about a particular woman you saw for a long time like over a few days or something and posting on forums about her, no that is not that normal in my opinion. Or rather it’s not normal for me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

People don't always believe that our thought are under our control. Ok we can't help noticing attractive people of course, but we can help where our thoughts go after that. So if I was thinking about having sex with another guy and feeling jealous of his wife, then I know it's gone too far in my head. I need to get my thoughts off that and back into my husband.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

I think it is normal. We are sexual and creative beings. Sexual fantasy are a normal part of our imaginations. Your imagination is the only place you are free to do whatever you want. Those fantasy don't mean you are bored of your wife or not attracted to her. Those fantasy might be what gets thinking about sex and gets you in the mood for sex with the real thing, your wife.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

It’s normal.... unless you find yourself lusting after more and more other women and less and less your wife.... then you have a problem .... a big one.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I'm probably cynical but when I see someone like that, I usually assume there is something wrong with them and I wouldn't be interested if I knew them better.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Sometimes those thoughts are normal.

To make them really normal, continue thinking about how she might wake up with death breath or how lucky her husband is to pick up her soiled undies at home, or her snotty tissues.

Cause that stuff is normal at home when you’re not seeing her.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

sorry I had to read your post a few times as first I just picked out the fact about the other woman 
yes there could be other men thinking about your wife in the way your thinking about this woman 
the important part is what you say last 
" . Because it makes me question my own marriage like I should be seeing my wife this way all the time. " 
yes you need to work on this 
how you work on it mostly self help books or videos and research on strengthening your marriage 
you question is putting the focus on your own marriage even though most will think your question is should you go after this other woman


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Luckylucky said:


> Sometimes those thoughts are normal.
> 
> To make them really normal, continue thinking about how she might wake up with death breath or how lucky her husband is to pick up her soiled undies at home, or her snotty tissues.
> 
> Cause that stuff is normal at home when you’re not seeing her.


 I just hope he is not kinky and that stuff turn him on


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## CootaCat5 (Jun 29, 2021)

Luckylucky said:


> Sometimes those thoughts are normal.
> 
> To make them really normal, continue thinking about how she might wake up with death breath or how lucky her husband is to pick up her soiled undies at home, or her snotty tissues.
> 
> Cause that stuff is normal at home when you’re not seeing her.


Haha thanks


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## CootaCat5 (Jun 29, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I think it is normal. We are sexual and creative beings. Sexual fantasy are a normal part of our imaginations. Your imagination is the only place you are free to do whatever you want. Those fantasy don't mean you are bored of your wife or not attracted to her. Those fantasy might be what gets thinking about sex and gets you in the mood for sex with the real thing, your wife.


Thank you for your helpful answer


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Sexual attraction is often spoken about on this forum. You can’t help what/who your attracted to. Hopefully you have that for your wife. So anyways my point is that I saw this red headed lady one time at the school of my kids when they were still young. I have no idea what it was or why but that lady stayed in my mind all these years. It’s not like she was some drop dead hot mom or anything ... but whatever it was it really stuck with me. It’s normal that I had those feelings..... it would be not normal if I acted on them or did something that affected my relationship with my wife. That red head is probably 40 lbs heavier with boobs hanging past her belt loops these days but hey .... that’s not they way my “minds eye” sees it. Besides my wife is hot ... still hot.... and I can check her out with my real eyes ..... and my hands 😉


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Sexual attraction is often spoken about on this forum. You can’t help what/who your attracted to. Hopefully you have that for your wife. So anyways my point is that I saw this red headed lady one time at the school of my kids when they were still young. I have no idea what it was or why but that lady stayed in my mind all these years. It’s not like she was some drop dead hot mom or anything ... but whatever it was it really stuck with me. It’s normal that I had those feelings..... it would be not normal if I acted on them or did something that affected my relationship with my wife. That red head is probably 40 lbs heavier with boobs hanging past her belt loops these days but hey .... that’s not they way my “minds eye” sees it. Besides my wife is hot ... still hot.... and I can check her out with my real eyes ..... and my hands 😉


 be funny if she was reading this , lol


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## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

CootaCat5 said:


> Why do I still want to fantasize about that mom I spoke to at my kids preschool? Why do I think “dang her husband is lucky to have her to make love to”. Then I question my thinking.. “maybe he is not as excited about her as I am because he has her “. Btw when I have these thoughts I don’t ever take them past a fantasy. Guys are these thoughts normal? Im putting myself in a vulnerable position by asking this so please only answer to help me clarify if this is normal or not. Because it makes me question my own marriage like I should be seeing my wife this way all the time.


Heck I do that all the time watching TV or walking down the street, etc. You see a hot woman and wish and then get on with life. It doesn't mean I want to leave my wife for her. I look at my wife and see an old, wrinkled, chubby 65 year old woman and think about the good old days when I was young, the girls were young and pretty and then come back to reality. I am happy where I am, a 70 year old guy who is also old, 70, wrinkled, and overweight and realize that I am comfortable and do not want to have to break in a new woman. LOL.


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