# Wife communicates with EX on yahoo IM



## Flo1967 (Feb 9, 2011)

Looking for some advice as to if I’m out in “left field” regarding an incident that took place yesterday.

I’ve been married for under a year but have been with my wife for two. When we were dating I ask her if she should ever be contacted by one of her EXs to let me know and that started an argument which was later resolved to we need to communicate more. However during that conversation she said if there was something to tell she would. Well yesterday while at lunch together she asked me to fix her phone and we were both looking at it and an instant MSG came in from her EX. I didn’t say anything at first and we left because I was very upset and didn’t want to open my mouth and say something I would regret. She asked what was wrong while driving and I said nothing I don’t want to talk about it right now. When I got out of the car heading back to work I slammed the door and she drove off. Later in the day I sent her and text saying you know exactly what was wrong. I thought about it for a minute and called her and we began to argue over this. During the conversation she admitted that he has contacted her 3 times since we have been married. I asked her why didn’t she tell me and she said there is nothing to tell and she didn’t feel she had to. I asked why did he contact you, to talk about the weather….. This is the same guy she was on again, off again for six years until we met. After checking yahoo, I see she has a picture of just her on her profile which is a picture of us together that she cropped out me. I later asked her why did she use that picture as a profile pic and she said she likes that picture and I said I like that picture too as it is a good picture of us together.
Was I wrong to be upset? Am I out in “left field” about her talking to the EX. I feel she has disrespected our marriage and if he means nothing to her and she has no feelings at all for him and all he did was “string” her along for six years, we communicate with him. She is a very talkative person that can strike up a conversation with anyone…………….
Any input would be greatly appreciated


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## Tourchwood (Feb 1, 2011)

Well Bro, 
yes it is very bad of her doing that, and you have all the right to get upset. her talking to her ex that means she still having feeling for him and she misses him even that she love you. she has no reason what so ever message him back, that is very disrespectful and sort of cheating. and her having only her picture shows that she knows what she is doing. 
you know her better than us, you know when she lies and how she acts, you should show her you are very upset and mad and don't go to your house for a night or two to make her understand you are hurt and taking thing series. you should also install PC monitors on all computers you have at home and watch your cell logs. 

No excuse what so every for what she did.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Sorry, bud, but I suspect that there is more, much more to this than you know.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

F-102 said:


> Sorry, bud, but I suspect that there is more, much more to this than you know.


I agree. Iceberg theory when it comes to this type of thing. Most is hidden under water.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Her initial reaction - way back when you asked her to let you know if there was ever any contact - was a big red flag.

I agree with the others - there's probably more to this than you know.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Her overtly defensive blame shifting reaction says enough. Sorry dude.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Yo Flo!

I'll bet you want it to work... (or else you would not be here)

Take a look at this - read all the links.

We're in the Men's Clubhouse if you want more.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/18181-man-up-nice-guy-reference.html


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

That's why we have a policy in our marriage, ZERO contacts of EXs of any kind. That is why there is no grey area in regards to (well we were only 15 and didn't have sex and ...) ZERO contacts means absoulute no contact whatseover. And EXs include 1 night stands, etc. To me this has been the safetest policy because its clear cut and dry. See you wife can be on the level, but an ex comes in and strokes the fire of her ego, and all it takes is a moment of weakness and she's found herself having an EA or worst.


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## Flo1967 (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks for the advice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MidwestDave (Jun 18, 2009)

I understand what everyone is saying. But if there are kids involved, you definitely need to be communicating with your Ex. After all, he/she is the parent of your child. Divorce does not change that. In fact I think it is important that you DO continue to communicate with them. Communication is not the same as having an ongoing emotional connection. In my situation my ex-wife has two of my kids in another state. I need to be able to contact her regarding my kids, and I expect her to respond! The same goes in reverse, if she has some issue with them I expect her to be contacting me.


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## 06hdfxdwg (Feb 14, 2011)

I was living with a woman a little while after my divorce. I'm the type of person whom if i get a whiff that something is amiss,i will investigate things. One night i went to bed at my usual time of about 10,on a work night because im usually up by 4:30. i woke up to get a drink and i was walking very softly into the kitchen,the floor creaked slightly as i did. She was sitting at the computer desk chatting with someone(I knew it was an ex) and when she heard the floor squeak,she closed the window in a hurry. That sent up a red flag with me (there were other little red flags as well). To shorten the story,it was an ex she was talking to and it winds up she was still liking him so a few days later i packed the few things i had there and told her i was leaving. A cell phone thats forever on silent or if shes answering a text you didnt hear her get are 2 more signs. My advice to you would be to get some keylogger software or hardware and find out whats going on. Where theres smoke theres normally a fire burning somewhere. At least you'll know what you're dealing with then.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

MidwestDave said:


> I understand what everyone is saying. But if there are kids involved, you definitely need to be communicating with your Ex. After all, he/she is the parent of your child. Divorce does not change that. In fact I think it is important that you DO continue to communicate with them. Communication is not the same as having an ongoing emotional connection. In my situation my ex-wife has two of my kids in another state. I need to be able to contact her regarding my kids, and I expect her to respond! The same goes in reverse, if she has some issue with them I expect her to be contacting me.


But do you hide it from your current spouse? If you say yes, then why would you hide the contact if there are supposed to be no secrets between a husband and wife.

She hid it from her husband, that alone is a smoking gun.


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