# New here



## Rootsnwings (Aug 22, 2017)

I'm still in disbelief that I find myself here.

A little background... We have been together almost 5 years, married 3. Things were rough the first year of marriage due to his work travel but he changed jobs & was home every night for the past year so things were going well. My husband was lazy and sometimes selfish but he clearly loved me and we enjoyed being together. The relationship with my stepson was better as he became older & his mother's influence wasn't as strong. My sons loved my husband and their little brother. My family loved him & he fit right in. My youngest just graduated so we were now empty-nesters. 

The one big disagreement we had was over the home we live in. It is family property with multiple houses on acreage. I get along well with my MIL & FIL but the extended family can be unpredictable. The family had agreed to subdivide the property so that issue was making progress. 

So how did I end up here? I really don't know. 
Simply, my husband got a BJ from a hooker. I found an empty condom wrapper in my truck which he had been driving. He confessed when I confronted him about it. He swears he has never cheated before. It doesn't really matter to me because I don't know how I can ever trust him again. 

He left and is staying with friends. I'm leaving on the weekends until I can get moved out (hope soon). I wrote up a proposed separation agreement and emailed it to him. I told him I'm not filing for divorce yet until we figure out where we go from here. We can't go back. 

I won't go back. I was miserable there the whole time I lived there, no matter how much I tried to make it my home. And it would never have belonged to me no matter how long I lived there. 

And then there's the fact that there was only one thing keeping me stuck in this town after my kids were gone - the property. I had offered to move to stepson's town to share custody but husband couldn't leave his family. I was stuck in a home that would never be mine, in a town without many job opportunities. I have to believe that there are higher powers at work here that gave me the kick I needed to leave this area. There has to be some reason this happened to us right? 

Sorry for rambling. I'm still processing. Any tips to keep me sane? I've been doing a good job not drinking excessively but it's so hard to turn my head off sometimes. Thanks for reading.


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

You could get a free consult with an attorney. Not necessarily to divorce, but to help you hash out terms of separation. 

Do the 180. Keep busy. Start living life as if you're already moving on without him. Are there things you want to do that you wouldn't have been able to when you were married?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Rootsnwings said:


> I have to believe that *there are higher powers at work here that gave me the kick I needed *to leave this area. There has to be some reason this happened to us right?


Yes, and you are one of the few people to see through the intricate machinations necessary to effect, to impel change.

You have a friend on the other side of the veil that is working on your behalf. 

But, at what price? You literally were pushed out by the selfish actions of "others", foremost, your husband.

You found one condom wrapper. One of [likely] many boundaries he has crossed. The hooker may be co-worker, a friend, someone you know. Making the women a hooker lessens the charge of cheating.

No emotional attachment, just sex. The story he coughed up may be true. But it may not...be true.

......................................................................................................

The veil that the departed stand behind was one that @Spicy wore when she was a high Egyptian Priestess, four or five thousand years ago.

At least that is what I have been told.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

You sound very clear on what makes you unhappy... now act on that which makes you happy.

What would deter you from filing sooner?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

A BJ from a hooker, using a condom?
Maybe there is a discount for that. :scratchhead:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Spicy said:


> A BJ from a hooker, using a condom?
> Maybe there is a discount for that. :scratchhead:


Or maybe she has a transmittable disease?

Or it wasn't a blowjob?

Or it wasn't a hooker?

Or it wasn't a woman?

Or it was the last condom out of a box of a gross?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I think you're *very* smart for leaving him.

I think you'll also find out in the near future that it wasn't a hooker he was using that condom with. It was likely his affair partner.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Or maybe she has a transmittable disease?
> 
> Or it wasn't a blowjob?
> 
> ...


Gross is what Gross does.
Gross men.....single handedly do......single mindedly do.

One cut at a time....

Till their is no longer any innocent flesh to cut.

The tainted flesh wants........
What it wants.....................

And what it wants it shall have... at any price. The hooked gets cut by the hooker sitting on that little potty in one's mind.


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## JustTheFacts (Jun 27, 2017)

Hope you start a new , happier life somewhere else. You didn't mention one positive thing about your situation or your husband so it's obvious to me that you need to get out of there and away from him. Good luck.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

You don't have children nor property holding you there and now have a cheating husband.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. If you have always been unhappy with the living situation, move on.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Spicy said:


> A BJ from a hooker, using a condom?
> Maybe there is a discount for that. :scratchhead:


Since so many STD's can be transmitted during oral, a lot of prostitutes require their clients wear condoms. Definitely not uncommon.

I will say this, though, I'd have checked the condom type. Condoms intended for intercourse generally have spermicide and lubricant. Spermicide and lubricant taste nasty. Typically, hookers requiring condoms for oral will use flavored condoms. They appear different that typical condoms. If it was a flavored condom, he's probably telling the truth about it being oral. If it's a typical condom, I wouldn't believe it was oral.


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