# Question for the women



## justme1956 (Aug 31, 2010)

It has been my experiance that women act as if they are doing men a favor by giving them a BJ. But feel that men are obligated to go down on them. Weather or not a BJ has been given. Is this true? Do women feel like they are performing some great favor by giving a man pleasure this way?


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

> It has been my experiance that women act as if they are doing men a favor by giving them a BJ. But feel that men are obligated to go down on them.


Yours is to not question this rule of nature. 

Yes. . .they are doing us a favor with a BJ and it's highly erotic, the most erotic in fact, act to do that to women.

THat is the order of things. . .don't mess with it


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## justme1956 (Aug 31, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Yours is to not question this rule of nature.
> 
> Yes. . .they are doing us a favor with a BJ and it's highly erotic, the most erotic in fact, act to do that to women.
> 
> THat is the order of things. . .don't mess with it



LOL

But I look at it like you wash my back I wash yours. I don't feel like either side should feel like they are doing a favor or feel obigated...JMHO


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

justme1956 said:


> It has been my experiance that women act as if they are doing men a favor by giving them a BJ. But feel that men are obligated to go down on them. Weather or not a BJ has been given. Is this true? Do women feel like they are performing some great favor by giving a man pleasure this way?


Erm not really it's something that I actually like to do so no I don't feel I'm doing him a favour by giving one, I think that you should get pleasure from pleasuring you're partner, it's no about point scoring/favours for me.


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## justme1956 (Aug 31, 2010)

Star said:


> Erm not really it's something that I actually like to do so no I don't feel I'm doing him a favour by giving one, I think that you should get pleasure from pleasuring you're partner, it's no about point scoring/favours for me.


I can respect that....But by you not liking to do it, you don't feel like your doing him a favor by doing it?.....Also how would you feel if he didn't perform on you, because he didn't like it?


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## justme1956 (Aug 31, 2010)

Please bare with me, I'm just trying to understand the mentality of it. So please do not take offense to my questions

You say that you would be pissed, But in order for him to un-piss you he would need to perform this for you. And is that not the same thing as making him feel obligated to do this for you?

And since you don't like doing it for him and I'm sure he enjoys it. Is that not like doing him a favor?

I'm not talking about anyone being forced to do anything that they don't like. That is totally un-acceptable....

Just trying to understand the women's mind


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

I don't think you have read my replies properly, I said that giving a bj IS something I enjoy giving him!! So it's not an issue.

However if he wouldn't go down on me because he did not like it, I wouldn't force the issue but I would feel a bit short changed as it is something I like receiving, but it's not the be all and end all, there are plenty of others things to do.


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## justme1956 (Aug 31, 2010)

You are correct I read your replies wrong, I thought you didn't like giving Bj...My bad...


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Like Star, personally I enjoy giving them to my boyfriend, so I don't feel as though I am doing him a favor. And I don't think he is obligated to do for me. I do enjoy it, as does he, which is why we both will do for each other, either simultaneously or individually. But, if he didn't enjoy it, or didn't feel like doing it, yes, I would be disappointed and I would express that to him, but I would do so while also making clear that it's not something he has to do. 

There are women who don't enjoy it, I used to be one of them before my boyfriend. And in those days, yes I did feel I was doing him (my ex) a favor by doing so for him...however, I didn't make him feel obligated to do for me. In fact, I went out of my way to avoid him doing for me out of fear that if he did for me, he would expect me to return the favor, and I didn't want to. 

I think this is one of those things that couples need to discuss and figure out how they both feel and make sure they can at least compromise if they disagree.


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

I enjoy giving him BJs. We have been married over 20 years. Try also making eye contact, using your hands on other parts of his body, touch his testicles, and glide a lubricated finger around his anus and see if he likes that too.

I wish he would go down on me too. I need to ask him again to do that for me. 

Although he does not go down on me, I go down on him because I like it. However, he always pulls me up on top of him before he orgasms, because he prefers penetration. That makes me feel wanted!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

justme1956 said:


> Just trying to understand the women's mind


 Trying to understand the women's mindset. God Help you! 
We are all SOOOOOO different, then on top of that, we can change *dramatically.* 

For pretty much 20 yrs of my marraige , I did not care or want to do Bj's, I was infact horrible, and this is probably the worst example you will get on this forum for not liking them. 

I would offer them for a Bribe if I really wanted something, then I didnt even finish him off, I was so bad, just not being comfortable being there. My husband would have loved them but he never asked, or tried to really talk about it. 

He never pushed, he would go down on me cause he wanted too. I wasnt even crazy about that & pushed him away many times. Yes, back then, I felt it was like a "favor" - and I was selfish, wanting something out of it myself -completely unrelated to sex. I was sexually uneducated & sexually repressed mentally. 

But NOW, oh my the change! I LOOOVVEEEEE to give them, it is a treat *for ME *, I think I love it as much as he does - maybe more. It is ME who says "oh honey, this is what I want to do to you tonight" - just doing it causes ME to be totally ready for him, dont even need any forplay after I give one. I guess I am still selfish in a way, cause I am doing it for MY pleasure too. 

It accually took my poor husband a while to BELIEVE I wanted to do this, since I went from Nun to Nympho, now he truly believes it, my sounds & how long I linger down there speaks volumes. 

So as for the women's mindset. If she is into it, and loving it, you will surely know it/feel it. Or like me, she may need more education & need a sexual awakening to get there.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

justme1956 said:


> It has been my experiance that women act as if they are doing men a favor by giving them a BJ. But feel that men are obligated to go down on them. Weather or not a BJ has been given. Is this true? Do women feel like they are performing some great favor by giving a man pleasure this way?



Ummm...NO. Well to clarify, it is a favor to me if it goes down on me in the sense that it is something pleasurable to me and a little "going the extra mile"--thus I think it's a favor to him too. I guess I don't view it as "I did you a favor now you owe me" though or whatever. More like we each consider it as something special to please the other, AND it's also *quite pleasant* for me to do it! :rofl:


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

Same here. Never felt obligated or as if I was doing a favor. It's actually very enjoyable and a big big big turn on for me... My h on the other hand wasn't too keen on giving as often as I did him...

I don't think men are obligated to go down on their women, but it would really be appreciated. I just don't find it fair that all we do is give and don't really get much in return. I find it a bit selfish. Personally only me giving made me tired and bored eventually so I stopped giving or asking... What's the point in pleasing someone if they're going to leave you hanging every time lol


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## justme1956 (Aug 31, 2010)

So what I'm getting is, if women like doing it. Then it's not considered a favor to the man. But if they don't like doing it, then they do it as a "favor"/and or to get something in return...Correct?

But on the other hand if a man doesn't like returning the pleasure in that way. You try to not make him feel obligated. Correct?

Now please bear with me, this is from a mans point of view. as far as the physical aspect of this getting and giving. It appears to me that the women have it easier, because let's face it the mans penis protrudes from his body. making this type of activity, I believe a little bit easier to perform. On the other hand the man has to really get in there. And if the woman takes quite awhile to peak. It can be quite painful for the man because his jaw is constantly working.

And for this reason, atleast for me. I don't like doing it as often as I or my gf would like. It becomes quite tiresome.

So I guess what I'm asking, is it the same for a women? Does it become physically painful to work the penis?


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

I don't like giving, and i definitely don't like receiving (I am female). However I give to my husband every now and again because I want to. I don't sit there and analyse why men do this or women do that, etc etc blah blah. Everyone is different, therefore generalisations like the ones you are making are redundant.

My opinion is this: if someone goes down on you, then it is common decency to return the favour. I don't like it myself so it doesnt happen like that in my relationship, but that is the overall idea in my head about it. Doesn't matter what "women think" or what "men think"... it is common decency. Generalising it like that is actually a bit of a cop-out if you ask me.


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

Yeah, you got it!

You are also right that a man must be so patient to bring his girl to orgasm. I don't know how you guys have the patience!!

I can bring him to O in a couple minutes by going down, penetration, whatever, but he has to spend, depending on hormonal cycle, 10 - 45 min.

I have no idea on what to do about a tired jaw. I would think alternating with finger play, or a vibrator, or varying the tongue movement/pressure? As a woman, I have no idea what the guys must go through.

I think any man who goes down on a woman is a blessing.

Any man who does it long enough for her to climax is a Sex God! I would kiss his feet every morning, because it is such an act of devotion to be there for so long. I really wish my husband would do that for me.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

This is off topic a bit. . .but someone above wrote how she hates generalizations. I am a weird person I suppose in that I see nothing wrong with generalizing, as long as everyone understands it's a generalization.

In fact, I am opposite in that I actually think it's a copout to always say, "Well, everyone's different." 

It's kind of a platitude to say that. 

I understand everyone is different and everyone bucks the trend but I think the question is - is it a *fair* generalization?

For instance, I am going to make a generalization on this subject.

You women can tell me if I am being fair or not. Deal?

Generally speaking, I feel I have an interesting perch where I am sitting now that I am 41 years old again. I can date a 50 year old woman and that be normal or a 25 year old woman and that be perfectly normal. Of course, she is the Oprah-hating man variety also. . .always making cracks about men in the reception area (have to speak to her about that. . .I guess it's considered polite conversation among women, not sure on that)

Generally speaking, women would say about a 41 year old man when choosing a woman would opt for the young piece of tail. My offfice manager always complains about men in this regard. . .and I think that's a fair generalization. 

Where I think she is wrong though is on our reasons why.

Generally speaking, I have found women who are 25 are more enthusiastic about sex compared to 50 year old women who are generally more experienced. And ask any guy, all things equal you have a. experience or b. enthusiasm to choose from. . .what's a guy going to choose? Men would appreciate enthusiasm over technique.

So you see. . .it's not all about the firm boobs and butt.

Now to tie this in with the topic, I joked to the OP about the natural order of things. . .but I get what he is saying as a guy. . .how about a little enthusiasm, ladies? Or is that generally reserved for the 25 and youngers with navel rings and nose rings?

Am I being fair?

Why or why not?


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> This is off topic a bit. . .but someone above wrote how she hates generalizations. I am a weird person I suppose in that I see nothing wrong with generalizing, as long as everyone understands it's a generalization.
> 
> In fact, I am opposite in that I actually think it's a copout to always say, "Well, everyone's different."
> 
> ...


I got quite a kick out of this. I can't say whether your being fair or not. I happen to be 31, and quite enthusiastic about my boyfriend in all departments. VERY enthusiastic...lol And I didn't become enthusiastic regarding sex until some years after 25. I was...at least 29 before I decided sex was fun and something I wanted to do instead of just a chore to be done because it was expected of me. And it wasn't until I met my boyfriend, when I was 30, that the thought "Hey, I really want to have *that* in my mouth!" crossed my mind. 

It might seem like a cop-out to say everyone is different, but it is the truth. Even each individual is different at different ages and stages of their lives. Generalizations are ok, as long you're open-minded enough to realize that not everyone fits that generalization. Some people (no one here that I see) can't do that.


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## togetherinlove (Sep 1, 2010)

I love giving my fiance a bj especially when we are driving in the car or watchin a movie etc.I dont know how to explain it but i dont look at it as im doing im a favor.I look at it as making the love of my life happy and as his fiance I believe it is my duty and responsibility to make my man happy and if a bj relieves his stress and makes him happy then he is more than welcome to ask me to give it to him,besides it is rare for him to only want a bj,if he is in the mood i will start him off with a bj then he will usually call it off and do me and then we are both happy.im just happy if i can make my man happy


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

As for the tired jaw - try starting slow. It isn't a sprint - more like a long distance kind of thing. Don't need to go for it all at once.

I sometimes get a kick out of my wife telling me to "push harder" - 
IT'S A TONGUE - JUST HOW HARD TO YOU THINK ITS GONNA GET???

(yes - I know - you can apply more pressure in other ways - sometimes I feel like I'm using my whole body - just sounds kinda funny to me sometimes!)


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

nice777guy said:


> As for the tired jaw - try starting slow. It isn't a sprint - more like a long distance kind of thing. Don't need to go for it all at once.
> 
> I sometimes get a kick out of my wife telling me to "push harder" -
> IT'S A TONGUE - JUST HOW HARD TO YOU THINK ITS GONNA GET???
> ...


That's when you use the chin.


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## LADYGAINES (Aug 30, 2010)

I do not feel that men are obligated to go down. I feel that it is something they will do if they care about pleasuring me in a really sensitive way. I also give BJ's to give a man intense pleasure. I want him to feel the pleasure of my mouth and tongue on it. I get pleasure in knowing that I am pleasing him that way. I would not say I do it thinking I am doing him a favor unless he asked me to do it and I was not in the mood to do it. A favor to me means I am doing something for you and you only because I don't want it.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Deejo said:


> That's when you use the chin.


:rofl: :lol: :rofl:


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## ladtbug81 (Aug 31, 2010)

Ok dont laugh. Me, I get really into it and enjoy it once I'm there giving hubby BJ. BUT...I dont really like to due to the fact that My jaw just does not open the way it probrably should. So yes for me time periodsl onger than maybe five minutes are painful.


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

blah, replied to the wrong post


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

justme1956 said:


> So what I'm getting is, if women like doing it. Then it's not considered a favor to the man. But if they don't like doing it, then they do it as a "favor"/and or to get something in return...Correct?
> 
> But on the other hand if a man doesn't like returning the pleasure in that way. You try to not make him feel obligated. Correct?
> 
> ...


Uhh giving a BJ doesn't always hurt the jaw but if the man takes longer than usual it does start to hurt and gets tiresome too. We use our tongue and jaw constantly too. Just because the penis protrudes it doesn't mean we open wide and let it go in n out by itself lol


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> This is off topic a bit. . .but someone above wrote how she hates generalizations. I am a weird person I suppose in that I see nothing wrong with generalizing, as long as everyone understands it's a generalization.
> 
> In fact, I am opposite in that I actually think it's a copout to always say, "Well, everyone's different."
> 
> ...


I like generalizations sometimes lol if it wasn't general people wouldn't generalize it!

btw I'm almost 25 and very enthusiastic about sex and hope to stay that way for another 30 years or more lol But not all women my age are like that. I know some who are not interested in sex, would NEVER give a bj and just lie there like logs because they think that's what the woman should do. 
I see on this board a lot of people who are over 30-40 and still give bjs so... what was your Q again?? lol


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## yogachick (Aug 9, 2010)

I don't feel this way. I like giving them, it's a total turn on


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## Sadara (Jul 27, 2010)

I have to be in the mood to give them, some times I'm not in the mood. Most of the time I am.

For me to want a man to go down on me they would have to be good at it, otherwise, what's the point?! Fortunately, my husband is good at it!

Men need to be clean too. Their junk can stink after a long day wrapped up in sweat. Eeewwwwww. I know some men feel this way about a woman, same goes for men being clean.

Some women are afraid that the man they are with is going to shoot off in her mouth without warning. I read some place that sperm tastes like sea water and egg whites. Well, it does taste bad and if a woman has ever been surprised by this, she may not ever want to go down on a man again. I have no clue how any one could acquire the taste for sperm. An x-boyfriend ages before I was married wanted me to swallow. I grabbed a cup and asked him if he would swallow his own sperm, he reacted with a huge NO, no way, not gonna happen. I gave him the same response he gave me. Then went on to explain how it tasted and insisted if he wanted me to swallow he had to do it first.  Point being, if you are with your spouse it's one thing, but with a new partner you might need to lay out some ground rules on this subject.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Alright, fair enough. . .maybe I am generalizing to justify me chasing a 25 year old piece of tail. . .but I would swear. . .menopause hits for a lot of women and it seems like they develop the philosophy:

"Men Optional."


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband really enjoys BJS. When he does something great for me, he will jokingly ask for a ten-minute BJ. I become tired after five minutes. So the most he could get is five minutes. Sometimes I even check my watch just to make sure that I have given him the right amount. No fun, right? That's us. We like to joke around. But I do play with his toy a lot. He gets a lot of attention.

My husband likes to give me oral sex too. He loves it. That's my man. Now I really enjoy it because I can come when he licks me. The orgasms are really strong, stronger than normal sex!!!


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