# Stinging...



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

So my second oldest moved out tonight. My youngestsssss
didn't take it well. I was looking forward to it (mentally) but when it happened I broke down and cried like I was just finding out. My little kids were not made aware that their brother/SIL was moving out and cried. Yet again I feel like a failure on many layers.
1) He should feel proud about moving out w/ a girl he has loved for 6 yr (he's 21). 
2) They are of age and need to live on their own and have helped me plenty when their dad wasn't around.
3)I cried while they packed up... curled up and cried ... the littles didn't know that 2 were moving and I had to tell them (it wasn't pretty) . Explanation... they know that when ppl move out they rarely see them except birthdays (my son/dil promises that won't be the case)
4) I was frustrated/sad/mad and hit upon a frustration... I should have called a friend or something.

This sh!t is so dang old!


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Mama the little ones will adjust- maybe your older one can make a special effort to come around weekly for the little ones to help the transition?


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

I know that's harder on you because your husband left but try to remember your child left because he is growing and not because he doesn't love you or want you to be his mom any more. He will always need his mom. You can visit each other too and maybe the little ones will see it as a little vacation.

I will say a prayer for you today.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

I imagine they will be close. Make a dinner night every week. Make it a tradition.

Also, give the little ones the room of the older ones, I think that helps generally. I am sure it is a bigger room?


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## Lifescript (Mar 12, 2012)

Mama, 

They'll adjust. It's hard I know but sooner or later the little birds need to fly on their own and go on their own way. Please advise him and help him not make the same mistakes young people often make when starting out their lives with loved ones. I'm 28 now and married when I was about his age.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I also want to say... the 'friend' that I was hanging out with for 4 wks just said I needed to move on because he wasn't wanting to be part of a young family. He suggests that I look for a younger man my age or younger. We get along so well... but he can't get passed the young kids that I have.... I almost want to say 'men suck' but I know that my TAM men are out there and you are wonderful. So I am available now for all Love affairs / ORGIES / Wesson Parties you name it!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> I also want to say... the 'friend' that I was hanging out with for 4 wks just said I needed to move on because he wasn't wanting to be part of a young family. He suggests that I look for a younger man my age or younger. We get along so well... but he can't get passed the young kids that I have.... I almost want to say 'men suck' but I know that my TAM men are out there and you are wonderful. So I am available now for all Love affairs / ORGIES / Wesson Parties you name it!


It sucks bad mama but you have to respect his honesty.

He was straight with you before anything bad could have happened because he couldn`t deal with the kids.

The real ****ty part is his rejection is another sign he was a good man.
Just not the man for you, he`s out there though.

I`m sorry Mama.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

tacoma said:


> It sucks bad mama but you have to respect his honesty.
> 
> He was straight with you before anything bad could have happened because he couldn`t deal with the kids.
> 
> ...



The friend I called and relied on ... who says he is still a friend but can't be 'that friend' since I have young children... dumped me today. 


I like you but not enough to like the family speech....

Bandit, I am a little relieved... I fell back into some bad habits (if you remember them) and was going to have to lie about what happened.

Oh, he dumped me after I told him about my ****ty day (friend's son suicide) and my ****ty night( kids feeling abandoned).


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I'm so sorry you are having a bad day Mama. Just remember, your boy is feeling the same pain of separation. The fact that you broke down and cried just demonstrates what a huge, loving heart you have. 

My mom abandoned us when I was six. This fundementally changed the way I look at women. I'd give twenty years off my life if I could go back in time and have a mom like you. 

So cheer up, and know you did a good job raising your boy. I'm sure he will be a success and that has alot to do with how you raised him. And you will find another man, a better man who will look forward to being a step-father to your children... just take your time looking for him. Try on lots of coats. You'll find the right guy, and it will be sooner than you think.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> I'm so sorry you are having a bad day Mama. Just remember, your boy is feeling the same pain of separation. The fact that you broke down and cried just demonstrates what a huge, loving heart you have.
> 
> My mom abandoned us when I was six. This fundementally changed the way I look at women. I'd give twenty years off my life if I could go back in time and have a mom like you.
> 
> So cheer up, and know you did a good job raising your boy. I'm sure he will be a success and that has alot to do with how you raised him. And you will find another man, a better man who will look forward to being a step-father to your children... just take your time looking for him. Try on lots of coats. You'll find the right guy, and it will be sooner than you think.


You are sweet. I like the coats... but I like making out and LOVE sex, so I hope you are right. 

Thank you to all my TAM friends... big hugs and some gropes to you all!


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Mama, you had me at "gropes".

Sorry to hear of your pain. The kids will adjust. It's an emotional time, but kids leaving the nest is a reality, however painful. Luckily, your kids will have your love to support them through until they adjust. 

As for the guy... if the coat doesn't fit, the coat doesn't fit. I'm glad he was able to be honest with you sooner than later. You both better off for it.

I hope you have a great weekend!


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

My 5 yr old crawled into bed w/ my 20 yr old in the middle of the night and asked her not to move. She's not even close to moving out, but she felt so sad for him. She hugged him and they went back to sleep.

Groping... I am all hands... I also need someone to make out with. Volunteers?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

> Groping... I am all hands... I also need someone to make out with. Volunteers?


Ooooooohh me me me me!!!!:bounce:


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> So my second oldest moved out tonight. My youngestsssss
> didn't take it well. I was looking forward to it (mentally) but when it happened I broke down and cried like I was just finding out. My little kids were not made aware that their brother/SIL was moving out and cried. Yet again I feel like a failure on many layers.
> 1) He should feel proud about moving out w/ a girl he has loved for 6 yr (he's 21).
> 2) They are of age and need to live on their own and have helped me plenty when their dad wasn't around.
> ...


Can I send you my 22 year old son, he can keep you guys company....he needs to move out.

But seriously, I'm sure they'll come back, they'll miss you guys so much. My older son would miss his siblings, even though they annoy him sometimes.

It's a trigger for you because of what your husband has done.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> I also want to say... the 'friend' that I was hanging out with for 4 wks just said I needed to move on because he wasn't wanting to be part of a young family. He suggests that I look for a younger man my age or younger. We get along so well... but he can't get passed the young kids that I have.... I almost want to say 'men suck' but I know that my TAM men are out there and you are wonderful. So I am available now for all Love affairs / ORGIES / Wesson Parties you name it!


I can't believe he said that, if he was decent enough he wouldn't care...wow...and a big ouch.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Ooooooohh me me me me!!!!:bounce:


Okay, then come on over! I will let you come up for air occasionally since you have a cold. Hope you like to cuddle too. 

I can kiss or hours ... just warning you.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

This is why I can't have kids. Sorry to hear Mama.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Okay, then come on over! I will let you come up for air occasionally since you have a cold. Hope you like to cuddle too.
> 
> I can kiss or hours ... just warning you.


You supply the blanket and I'll bring the Binaca and Chapstik!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Hey Mama,

Is MamaBird feeling better tonight? 

How many times did your boy call you today?


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

No calls. 

But I have some other people calling so my mind is busy. I actually dreamed this wkd that you and I were talking on the phone...LOL.

I go to the lawyers today. I will seek advice about diy divorce. MY stbxh and I have pretty much come to an agreement on just about everything. I don't want any paperwork problems so I will ask if she can just handle the paperwork or I will look elsewhere. 

My house was full last night w/ all the kids celebrating a birthday. It was a little awkward because my oldest daughter use to talk about me needing to get out there and date and now that I am she is mad at me She was even trying to set me up w/ people in the beginning. Oh well.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Funny, I dreamed I was at a cafe and a little gal spilled coffee all over me. That wasn't you I hope.

Your daughter will get over it. Kids always pull back from a pie-in-the-sky idea when they see the reality of it. Keep dating and getting out there. There is a decent, family oriented man out there somewhere for you.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Bandit, I don't waste good coffee and if I did spill it on you it would be so you'd have to remove your clothing 

I retained a lawyer yesterday and she is going to file for me. My bank account is a little sadder now, but I am not.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Mama I'm glad to hear you are moving forwards and taking your life back. Does the ex know or are you going to surprise him by having him served?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Mama I'm glad to hear you are moving forwards and taking your life back. Does the ex know or are you going to surprise him by having him served?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He knows. I told him. I actually can have him sign a waiver of notification (saves me $75) and may get this moving faster. I am ready to move on and my life is almost my own 
I hated spending all that money but as my mom pointed out it's an investment in my future. I have to keep my focus.


I won't lie to you, I had fantasies about having it done at work or somewhere public but it wouldn't serve a purpose but make him look like the 'victim' which he plays so well.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

My only regret was not being there to see my STBXW's face when she was served at her office.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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