# Husband withdrew half from joint account



## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

Hello All, so my H and I are a day from moving into our own places. We still own our home which is being prepared to sell and we agreed to deposit 3000 in the joint account to cover the house expenses including the mortgage. Today he pays off his credit card for over 2800 and says these were for household expenses. I’ve asked my attorney and waiting for an answer but I’m hoping someone has some thoughts as to how to best navigate this dilemma.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

I think you should consult with your attorney before doing anything, including placing money into an account for shared expenses. It sounds like your STBX just conned you.


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## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

You’re right. I’ll wait to hear back from the attorney.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Maybe his lawyer advised him to? Definitely speak to your lawyer, but I'd be moving my half out of that account just to be safe. Don't spend it, just move it and then see what your lawyer says.


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## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

But the bills need to be paid in the next 2 days.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Lostinthelight said:


> But the bills need to be paid in the next 2 days.


The only one that can give you sound legal advice is your attorney. Sorry.


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## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

It’s ok. I just wondered how people managed joint bills when owning a home during a divorce.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Can't you pay them from a different account?


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## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

You’re right I can, but the entire point was to pay our mortgage and bills for a house that we both own. I can’t pay half a bill and not pay the other half. I’ll keep everyone posted once I hear back from the attorney.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Lostinthelight said:


> You’re right I can, but the entire point was to pay our mortgage and bills for a house that we both own. I can’t pay half a bill and not pay the other half. I’ll keep everyone posted once I hear back from the attorney.


So I’d stop depositing into the joint account. Tell him the house is due and he needs to give you his half. Tell him you no longer trust him to not abuse the joint account and you’ll let the house go into arrears if necessary. 

I’m assuming that his credit card wasn’t household expenses. Ask for a statement and accounting of each expense.


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## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> So I’d stop depositing into the joint account. Tell him the house is due and he needs to give you his half. Tell him you no longer trust him to not abuse the joint account and you’ll let the house go into arrears if necessary.
> 
> I’m assuming that his credit card wasn’t household expenses. Ask for a statement and accounting of each expense.


I did ask him for a statement and he said whatever. I’ll pay off the credit cards and withdraw the rest.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Lostinthelight said:


> I did ask him for a statement and he said whatever. I’ll pay off the credit cards and withdraw the rest.


Well obviously do what your lawyer says but also keep account of what you pay and what he took. This can all be balanced in the final divorce and house settlement. I would recommend asking your lawyer if the house settlement can go into a trust to be held until the divorce decree to keep either from over spending.


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## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

Is this agreement formal (e.g. a final opting out and separation agreement) or something you and he decided verbally? I dont have it in front of me but if I recall correctly the petition for divorce in my case called for no sale or transfer of real property until a formal agreement was reached or the final divorce decree was handed down; however, I do not know if it covered joint bank accounts. Irregardless you should have made financial disclosure statements of all property including bank accounts. in the initial financial disclosures So lets say in your initial disclosure statement it read joint account xxx-yyy contained 10,000 dollars and then 6 months later it only contained 5,000 dollars that would need to be accounted for. But now you are also getting into credit card debt as well. Depending upon the circumstances his debt is your debt too and vice versa. Thats why final opting out agreements usually spell this stuff out clearly. What does the opting out/separation agreement say. If you have not finalized one yet it gets messy and then thrown into the courts to be argued by the attorneys which is what you want to avoid because of cost. Your 2 attorneys should have been working on this from the get go.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

He may have taken 1/2 to prevent you from taking it all. Lawyers actually recommend that sometimes. 

Just keep good records since any money he took will be counted against him when you get to the property distribution phase of divorce proceedings.


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## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

SongoftheSouth said:


> Is this agreement formal (e.g. a final opting out and separation agreement) or something you and he decided verbally? I dont have it in front of me but if I recall correctly the petition for divorce in my case called for no sale or transfer of real property until a formal agreement was reached or the final divorce decree was handed down; however, I do not know if it covered joint bank accounts. Irregardless you should have made financial disclosure statements of all property including bank accounts. in the initial financial disclosures So lets say in your initial disclosure statement it read joint account xxx-yyy contained 10,000 dollars and then 6 months later it only contained 5,000 dollars that would need to be accounted for. But now you are also getting into credit card debt as well. Depending upon the circumstances his debt is your debt too and vice versa. Thats why final opting out agreements usually spell this stuff out clearly. What does the opting out/separation agreement say. If you have not finalized one yet it gets messy and then thrown into the courts to be argued by the attorneys which is what you want to avoid because of cost. Your 2 attorneys should have been working on this from the get go.


Nothing drawn yet but thank you for your input. I had to send him an email letting him know that moving forward we’ll be using the joint account to pay our joint bills. I haven’t received a response.


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