# The grass wasn't greener



## SAJ (Jun 21, 2018)

Is it ever possible for a (ex/separated) spouse to fall back in love or want to be back together? 

Last year I left my wife. I moved out and stayed with a friend of mine until finding an apartment. Prior to physically moving out we were in a rough spot and I chose to sleep in the spare bedroom, we didn’t eat meals together, didn’t talk much, etc, so it feels like we have been separated longer than we have (9 months). After 9 years together I chose to leave. My wife didn’t agree with the decision, and did want to fix our marriage. I thought I was making the right decision by leaving, it was the worst choice I could make. Divorce is not where we should be headed. 

Our relationship gradually deteriorated. There wasn’t one big event that caused the demise. The short of it is that we both stopped putting in the amount of effort required for any marriage. At the time I thought it was one sided. I have come to realize that I was a jackass and I am embarrassed by the way I acted. I took her for granted and didn’t realize what I had until I lost it. 

I am fully understanding that unless my wife WANTS to be with me again that I won’t get her back. I am not trying to wiggle my way back into her life against her wishes. I want her to want to be with me, and I do believe that the door isn’t closed. We are not divorced, and we have not started the divorce process at all. We do not have a custody or child support agreement. Our kids live with her, in our home, and I am able to see them whenever I have the time. I know one thing I need to do is admit to my wife what I did wrong in our marriage, something I have never done and she hated. 

I have seen other women, but they are not my wife. No one compares to her. The problems that our marriage had seem so small now and fixable. I handled the most important thing in my life so poorly and immaturely. We are on ok terms. We don’t fight, but also don’t talk or see each other unless regarding our kids. She seems hurt, mostly. My gut feeling tells me the door isn’t closed, but that I need to tread carefully.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I personally feel if one person (Whoever it is) doesn't want the marriage then it wasn't meant to be. For whatever reason your dynamic got you here. Make sure you just don't have the thing where wherever you are you are not happy, with her our without her. That wonderlust thing sometimes means the problem is you and has nothing to do with the relationship in or out.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Separated and even officially divorced couples get back together all the time. 

Whether they actually *should* or not is an entirely different subject, but it obviously does occur a lot. 


You are both grown adults. 


If you want to get back together, present your case and ask her.

From there she can either accept your offer or she can decline.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

SAJ said:


> Is it ever possible for a (ex/separated) spouse to fall back in love or want to be back together?
> 
> Last year I left my wife. I moved out and stayed with a friend of mine until finding an apartment. Prior to physically moving out we were in a rough spot and I chose to sleep in the spare bedroom, we didn’t eat meals together, didn’t talk much, etc, so it feels like we have been separated longer than we have (9 months). After 9 years together I chose to leave. My wife didn’t agree with the decision, and did want to fix our marriage. I thought I was making the right decision by leaving, it was the worst choice I could make. Divorce is not where we should be headed.
> 
> ...


I'm sure somewhere in the history of humanity some couples got back together in a meaningful way, but I don't know how often it happens.

If you've thought through the things you think you did wrong, tell her. If it makes you whole as a couple again, great, but if it only gives her some peace that is still very important. 

I would do this first and give it some time, i.e. don't rush getting back together.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Just be a good friend to your estranged wife & a good Dad to your children. Take your estranged wife for coffee or just family burger time. Just be there for her and your children. In time, perhaps you both can agree to work things out. After all, you are not divorced yet. Your marriage may be saved.


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

Roselyn said:


> Just be a good friend to your estranged wife & a good Dad to your children. Take your estranged wife for coffee or just family burger time. Just be there for her and your children. In time, perhaps you both can agree to work things out. After all, you are not divorced yet. Your marriage may be saved.


I would start with a real SINCERE apology....no strings attached to it.....expecting NOTHING in return.

but the above advice, to me, is good, but would come after she learns that you did indeed get off track and deeply regret it. However, if the "falling out" you describe was indeed mutual, then at some point she too has to show that she has learned from her mistakes.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

> > I know one thing I need to do is admit to my wife what I did wrong in our marriage, something I have never done and she hated.


Why have you not done this yet?

1. Do it!
2. If you didn't both agree it was okay to have affairs while married, you have a lot of apologizing to do about that also.

I have no idea if she can forgive you genuinely. You threw her and your life away to see if the grass was greener. If there is true love and friendship here, I think it is possible for an ember to be rekindled, but so much depends on you admitting all of your mistakes, and really *owning* them. Changing how you have been, and starting a new course to be the husband and father they deserve. Can you do that? Are you willing to put in all the effort required? Will you dedicate to doing it forever, not just short term to get her back? If you are not, please do not put this woman and children through any more. 

To answer your main question, my opinion is this- If she has it in her heart to forgive, as you seem to think she does, then yes, there can be a chance. I think it is a very slim chance at success, but if you are really going to do the above, I wish you all the best.


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## SAJ (Jun 21, 2018)

What would be our 10th anniversary is coming up. Should I invite her out for a coffee or dinner on that day? Coffee seems too casual and low-effort, dinner alone seems like too much. Dinner with the kids, maybe? I could book a reservation at her favourite restaurant. Our anniversaries were always important to her, but I neglected them. I know that it’s our anniversary date but since we are not together it’s not really our anniversary. I want to show her that I am going to put in the effort for her.


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## coquille (May 8, 2018)

I would send her a message inviting her to her favorite restaurant. You could invite her in person if you say you see her regularly to pick up the kids. I wouldn't include the children and I wouldn't elaborate on anything other than you would like to invite her to her favorite restaurant. Once there, (and it looks like it's very probable that she'll suspect that it's for your anniversary and she'll accept the invitation), then you open up to her, apologize for the missed opportunities, etc. Yes, and it wouldn't hurt to bring her a nice bouquet the day of your anniversary.


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## Síocháin (Mar 11, 2016)

If my ex would take responsibility for his actions, I would be thrilled. Would I want him back.....NO! You need to start with the apology and taking responsibility for your actions that got you here. Since it's your anniversary, I would do it today. The longer you wait, the more she is going to realize she can function just fine without you. By leaving, you have completely killed her trust in you. As a FYI, don't say I'm sorry and then add a "but it was because of this or that I acted this way". Totally makes your apology useless. As another poster pointed out, she needs to take responsibility for her actions as well. That way, you both can move forward with the baggage out of the way if that is what she wants. Good luck either way.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Dinner invitation to her favorite restaurant alone. Get flowers and a card. Write something meaningful in the card. Take your time and do it right.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

If you truly have changed, ask her out.
Be honest what you want and what you’re sorry for. Tell her you don’t want any answers, but be straightforward.

I can tell you this: if she hasn’t flipped the switch on you, you’re probably ok. If it’s in the off position—- you won’t turn it back on.

Don’t do this and break her heart again. What you did is bs and if I were her, I’d give you the middle finger.

See, honestly and straightforwardness isn’t that hard.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Don't push and gracefully accept her response no matter which way it goes.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

It's a rare day indeed when a married man chooses to leave his wife and family *JUST* to be on his own.

Very rare indeed.

I get the feeling you left out a very important part to your story about why you left your wife.

And it has to do with another woman.

I'm sure you'll claim I'm wrong. But I won't believe you.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> It's a rare day indeed when a married man chooses to leave his wife and family *JUST* to be on his own.
> 
> Very rare indeed.
> 
> ...


For his own good, he needs to provide the entire picture or else the advise her will be misguided.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> It's a rare day indeed when a married man chooses to leave his wife and family *JUST* to be on his own.
> 
> Very rare indeed.
> 
> ...


The OP did say he has been with other women.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

OP do not invite her to her favorite restaurant and do not do it on what would have been your 10th anniversary. Those things all scream of expectation. Instead do it more casually on some other day and someplace unfamiliar to both of you. Present your case with no expectations and leave it at that. Then allow her time to sort it out in her head with NO pressure from you.
But one final thing - as others have said you damn well better be sure this is what you want. Because playing games with someone's head is the worst thing you could do, especially someone you claim to still love. But really this sounds like a lot of second guessing on your part. You got to the point of leaving for a reason. You may have taken her for granted, she may have taken you for granted. But you got to the point of leaving for a reason. Make sure it is something you really want and not just a reaction to being a little lonely on your own. Too many couples stay together out of fear of being lonely. Why had to that number? If that is the case get over being lonely and make a life for yourself before you subject another human being to that life.


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## dzz (Apr 24, 2014)

As someone with a husband who always seems to be daydreaming and teetering on the edge of finding out if the grass is indeed greener, I would recommend that you tread lightly. You say you have been with other women. Has your estranged wife been with other men? If not, she may never get over the fact that you tossed her aside to sow your wild oats - especially while she was there taking care of the children you made together. You f-ed up, man. Big time. It's going to be hard to fix it.


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## SAJ (Jun 21, 2018)

I'm going to invite her out for dinner, just the two of us. I'm picking up the kids tomorrow and will take some flowers and ask her then. I've arranged a sitter for our kids, if she says yes. 

Putting everything on the table, I have never bought my wife flowers, a card, a gift. They seemed like a waste of money. So doing so now, would that show her I've changed or be too much? I intend on telling her with the invite that there are no expectations, I just want to talk to her. 

I have seen other women, I haven't hid that fact here. I did not cheat. 

My wife hasn't seen any other man, as far as I know. I'd be very surprised if she had seen someone. I know that it's going to be hard for her to accept that I was with other women and I'm prepared for that. She does know about it.

If she wants to know more details about what I've done in our separation, do I give full details? It's not the same as an affair, so do the same "rules" apply?

I don't want to jump into this. I don't expect to go out to dinner, with my bags packed ready to go back home after dinner. I have hopes that things will go well, but not expectations.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Don't worry about things many steps down the path, just take the first step, and decide what's next after you see how things go.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

SAJ said:


> I'm going to invite her out for dinner, just the two of us. I'm picking up the kids tomorrow and will take some flowers and ask her then. I've arranged a sitter for our kids, if she says yes.
> 
> Putting everything on the table, I have never bought my wife flowers, a card, a gift. They seemed like a waste of money. So doing so now, would that show her I've changed or be too much? I intend on telling her with the invite that there are no expectations, I just want to talk to her.
> 
> ...


People's definitions of cheating are different. For example, if you left your wife to be with a woman you'd been spending time with, but didn't let it get physical until AFTER you left, you might claim this wasn't cheating, whereas, someone else here (and possibly your wife) may consider it cheating.

If you can say that you only *met* these women after the separation, then we could get a clearer idea. Also, did you and your wife agree that you were seeing other people at any point, or did your dating come as a surprise to her?


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## SAJ (Jun 21, 2018)

On Tuesday I picked up the kids and took my wife flowers. I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner with me to her favourite restaurant. She said no immediately, sent the kids out and that was that. Later Tuesday night she texted me: 

_“Why would you do that? You NEVER acknowledged even ONE of our anniversaries. You NEVER bought me flowers. Now you do? Are you trying to rub it in my face that we aren’t together for our 10th anniversary? Trying to show me how great you have become with someone else? Why don’t you go spend that day with your girlfriend.” _

I dropped the kids off this morning and apologized to my wife. I said I understood if she didn’t want to go, and I wouldn’t ask again. She said she didn’t know. I texted her this afternoon asking if she knew if she wanted to go or not and she said she didn’t know. 

The door is cracked open. How do I get her to open it and walk through? I am not a romantic man, my wife loves romance. There has to be something that I can do to give her the small push she needs to just hear me out at dinner.


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## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

Ask her again. 

Either walk the walk or stop talking. Being romantic is a choice. Saying you are not a romantic guy is saying you are lazy. You do not have to get the "romance" right, you just have to give the effort.

Make sure you are 100% committed no matter how long it takes and ask her again.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

You could tell her that you have changed and that you feel differently about your/and her anniversaries now, and that is why you asked her out on a date that night.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

After what you did to her, you had better start learning to do things for her that she would consider "romantic." Romance can be learned. Master manipulators know how to woo women, you can learn how to be romantic for your wife. If she still loves you after what you did (you emotionally abandoned her. You emotionally divorced her) she deserves for you to be romantic for the rest of your lives together.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

SAJ said:


> On Tuesday I picked up the kids and took my wife flowers. I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner with me to her favourite restaurant. She said no immediately, sent the kids out and that was that. Later Tuesday night she texted me:
> 
> _“Why would you do that? You NEVER acknowledged even ONE of our anniversaries. You NEVER bought me flowers. Now you do? Are you trying to rub it in my face that we aren’t together for our 10th anniversary? Trying to show me how great you have become with someone else? Why don’t you go spend that day with your girlfriend.” _
> 
> ...


I'm not sure where you are getting that they door is cracked open. 

It seems to me she is done with you and any gesture that you may think is romantic, she just thinks you are being crafty and manipulative. 

......... and I can't say that I blame her. 


I don't think you actually "get it." You can't treat someone dismissively and like they aren't important to you for 10 years and then leave them to try on a variety of other people for size for months and then have a handful of flowers and a favorite restaurant melt their heart. 


This is a sincere question, I am not trying to put you down or get any digs on you or anything, but do you happen to have some autism or Asperger's Syndrome or anything like that? You just seem really out of touch and perplexed by people's emotional response to things and don't seem to grasp the gravity of this situation.


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## SAJ (Jun 21, 2018)

If she had no interest in going for dinner she would have said no, not "not sure". She did say no the first time, then two days later after having time to think it over she changed to a maybe/not sure. 

Romantic gestures might come easily for some people but they don't for me. It's not about being lazy or not caring about her. I found them cheesy and had no idea what to do. I do need to step it up.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

SAJ said:


> If she had no interest in going for dinner she would have said no, not "not sure". She did say no the first time, then two days later after having time to think it over she changed to a maybe/not sure.
> 
> Romantic gestures might come easily for some people but they don't for me. It's not about being lazy or not caring about her. I found them cheesy and had no idea what to do. I do need to step it up.


You still aren't getting it. This is not an issue or romance or lack thereof. Flowers and chocolates are not going to smooth this over. Anything other than a clear yes is a no. 

You haven't answered my question. Have you ever been evaluated for or has it ever been suggested by a professional that you may have some form or some degree of something like autism or Asperger's or something of that nature?

This is not a dig on you and it is a legitimate question because if you do, you may not relate to people in a regular manner and things that may work for other people may not work for you.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

SAJ said:


> If she had no interest in going for dinner she would have said no, not "not sure". She did say no the first time, then two days later after having time to think it over she changed to a maybe/not sure.
> 
> Romantic gestures might come easily for some people but they don't for me. It's not about being lazy or not caring about her. I found them cheesy and had no idea what to do. I do need to step it up.


Cards, flowers a meaningful gift means a lot to women. You need to learn that.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Marc878 said:


> Cards, flowers a meaningful gift means a lot to women. You need to learn that.


Those things may mean a lot to a woman if she believes in her heart that the man is doing it organically and is doing it as part of his nature. 

When it comes from a man that has dismissed and ignored her for 10 years who has left her and openly dated others for almost a year and then shows up one day with a bouquet of flowers expecting her to roll out the red carpet is just plain creepy.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

SAJ said:


> We do not have a custody or child support agreement. Our kids live with her, in our home, and I am able to see them whenever I have the time. I know one thing I need to do is admit to my wife what I did wrong in our marriage, something I have never done and she hated.


 Well aren't YOU Father of the Year! Good thing your wife is the responsible adult in this **** show you forced on her and she doesn't just come around to see the kids when she's got time. As was probably the case while she was married to you, it's STILL the case that *she's *doing just about 100% of the child-rearing. Big surprise. 

Not.


> I have seen other women, but they are not my wife.


Well that's odd. You have time to date yet can't seem to carve out more time for your kids. Better YET, act like a damned responsible *involved parent *and TAKE them for a few days and give your wife a damned rest. How nice that you get to live irresponsibility and get to date and basically do whatever you want while dumping *everything *on her shoulders.

You say you _USED_ to take her for granted?

I got news for you, Peter Pan. You STILL ARE!

Man the hell up for the first time in your life and start taking *responsibility* for the kids you CHOSE to have.

Un-****ing-real.


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## His_Response (Jun 14, 2018)

SAJ said:


> Is it ever possible for a (ex/separated) spouse to fall back in love or want to be back together?
> 
> ...
> 
> ...


Sounds to me like you already know what you need/want to do. I think if you are just honest with her, and tell her what you told us, above, that there is still hope you can mend things. 

My two cents, for what it's worth; it sounds to me like you love her and realize you've made a huge, huge mistake. It sounds like she loves you too. If you both really do love each other, you need to communicate your feelings clearly and let her know that you are sorry. Admit you were a jackass, and tell her how you really feel. Don't dance around it. If she feels the way you do, she's probably hoping you'll make that effort. 


-H.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Your wife asked "Why would you do that?". Call her and say that you have been thinking of all the ways you failed as a husband and the flowers were a start to show her that you can consider her feelings and her wants. 

Cards and presents aren't necessarily considered to be 'romantic' - they are considered to be standard operating procedure in marriage. You didn't know how to be a husband or a lover and didn't know how to be married. You can learn as long as you consider someone other than yourself. Because, face it, not buying her cards or gifts was nothing but sheer laziness on your part. 

If you truly want to salvage your marriage, you're going to have to invest yourself in your marriage and not just show up to eat dinner and screw. Be a genuine partner.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

His_Response said:


> Sounds to me like you already know what you need/want to do. I think if you are just honest with her, and tell her what you told us, above, that there is still hope you can mend things.
> 
> My two cents, for what it's worth; it sounds to me like you love her and realize you've made a huge, huge mistake. It sounds like she loves you too. If you both really do love each other, you need to communicate your feelings clearly and let her know that you are sorry. Admit you were a jackass, and tell her how you really feel. Don't dance around it. If she feels the way you do, she's probably hoping you'll make that effort.
> 
> ...


"Feelings" do not always conquer all. 

How many times on these forums do we preach actions over words. 

Try to look at this from her perspective. He has been an absentee husband and father that hasn't even acknowledge their anniversary for 10 years and hasn't even bothered to seek any kind of child care agreement while he has been off dating other women. He sometimes sees them when he... And I quote...."has the time." 

His expression of feelings (ie words) are likely not going to melt her heart and stoke her desires after a decade of detached, self-absorbed behavior and not being an active part of the family.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Sir
You have hurt her badly. You need to acknowledge that with her. I recommend that you invite her out for coffee. Alone. Casually. I want you to write down your thoughts, and organize them. Let her know that reality has hit like a sledgehammer, and you realize that you have been a total bastard to her. Then ask if SHE is willing to give you another chance. 

If she is willing, then you work like a son of a bi+ch to fix what you broke.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

SAJ said:


> On Tuesday I picked up the kids and took my wife flowers. I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner with me to her favourite restaurant. She said no immediately, sent the kids out and that was that. Later Tuesday night she texted me:
> 
> _“Why would you do that? You NEVER acknowledged even ONE of our anniversaries. You NEVER bought me flowers. Now you do? Are you trying to rub it in my face that we aren’t together for our 10th anniversary? Trying to show me how great you have become with someone else? Why don’t you go spend that day with your girlfriend.” _
> 
> ...


I was waiting for this one. Man you better take is slow.

You never bought you wife flowers? WTF dude, where was your head at?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Spicy said:


> Why have you not done this yet?
> 
> 1. Do it!
> 2. If you didn't both agree it was okay to have affairs while married, you have a lot of apologizing to do about that also.
> ...


I didn't get from posts that it was all on him?


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

SAJ said:


> Romantic gestures might come easily for some people but they don't for me. It's not about being lazy or not caring about her. I found them cheesy and had no idea what to do. I do need to step it up.


The problem I see is that these gestures you are trying are not actually "romantic" in the true sense. Rather, they are things you are doing to manipulate her to come back to you. It's like buying her expensive jewelry so she will forgive you for a transgression. That's not romantic. Romantic is when you love her so much that you feel compelled to buy her something beautiful so she knows how much you mean to her. If you only do these actions when she's mad, then she sees them as a manipulation tactic rather than an expression of your love.

What do you think is the best for her future and happiness? Do you think it is to be with you? Or would she be happier on her own path? Making her happiness your ultimate priority is romantic. If you just want to get back because you're lonely and the grass wasn't greener, you have to realize you're not considering her happiness.

If you want to do something romantic, think about what she loves to do and what would mean a lot. Don't do the trite and generic things like flowers, candy, or jewelry that anyone can do. Rather, do something that reflects how deeply you know her and how much you love her. For example, if she's always talked about raising chickens, find a chicken expo in your area and take her there. Get plans for a chicken coop and build it for her. Show a genuine interest in picking out just the right chicken breeds. That's not romantic in a traditional sense, but it's something like that would mean a lot to her and show how much you care.


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## bbrad (May 30, 2012)

Maybe you need to mention that you want to go to dinner so that you can apologize, also be truthful and tell her you are not dating anyone. She might say yes to that. Then the door creeks open a little more. You need to take this slowly and consider that the process may take a year. Not a few weeks. If you have the mindset that you are in for the long haul, and if you plan to be with her for the rest of your lives, a year won't seem that long.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

SAJ said:


> On Tuesday I picked up the kids and took my wife flowers. I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner with me to her favourite restaurant. She said no immediately, sent the kids out and that was that. Later Tuesday night she texted me:
> 
> _“Why would you do that? You NEVER acknowledged even ONE of our anniversaries. You NEVER bought me flowers. Now you do? Are you trying to rub it in my face that we aren’t together for our 10th anniversary? Trying to show me how great you have become with someone else? Why don’t you go spend that day with your girlfriend.” _
> 
> ...


You should have responded I did that because I realize I was a ****. I want to go out on our anniversary with you. I'd like to discuss you being my girlfriend and there's plenty more flowers where those came from. Let me try. Come to dinner my love. Let's talk.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

oldshirt said:


> Those things may mean a lot to a woman if she believes in her heart that the man is doing it organically and is doing it as part of his nature.
> 
> When it comes from a man that has dismissed and ignored her for 10 years who has left her and openly dated others for almost a year and then shows up one day with a bouquet of flowers expecting her to roll out the red carpet is just plain creepy.


If his actions don't change he'll get more of what he's getting. We all need to learn. If you change nothing nothing changes


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## HaniP (Jun 30, 2018)

SAJ said:


> On Tuesday I picked up the kids and took my wife flowers. I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner with me to her favourite restaurant. She said no immediately, sent the kids out and that was that. Later Tuesday night she texted me:
> 
> _“Why would you do that? You NEVER acknowledged even ONE of our anniversaries. You NEVER bought me flowers. Now you do? Are you trying to rub it in my face that we aren’t together for our 10th anniversary? Trying to show me how great you have become with someone else? Why don’t you go spend that day with your girlfriend.” _
> 
> ...


“Why would you do that? You NEVER acknowledged even ONE of our anniversaries. You NEVER bought me flowers. Now you do? Are you trying to rub it in my face that we aren’t together for our 10th anniversary? Trying to show me how great you have become with someone else? Why don’t you go spend that day with your girlfriend.” 

She wanted to fix the marriage but you didn't. You've f......d your way through other women and have now been satisfied. Now you want to go back to being one big happy family and work on the issues in the marriage that only now, seem small. So actually, you just wanted to f..k someone else and return to being a grateful loving husband and family man. Pitiful!


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

So how did the date go or did it not go? MC yet?


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