# Feeling stuck



## 1dayatatime (Feb 19, 2012)

Just wondering if this is normal. I initiated the sep and going
Through divorce now yet I feel stuck like I can't move on. 
Not wanting a reconciliation and I'm happy we are no longer
Together but I worry that I'm expecting a sense of closure when the 
Divorce is finalized and maybe I still won't find that closure.
Anyone else feel the same way?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Would it make you feel better on D-day to call your spouse and thank them for all the good years you had? You may feel scorned about the divorce but you can't deny a few good years here and there. Forgive them for any past mistakes and let whatever friction you had stay in the past with your marriage. And if you can't move on there's nothing written in stone that says you can't talk to them after this. You're spouse will need plenty of space after but a call on your ex's birthday will not go unappreciated.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The best way to get unstuck is to start doing things. Get active with things you enjoy doing. Then you will not have the time to think about feeling stuck. And one day you will realize that you have truely moved on.


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## phillybrokenheart (Mar 9, 2012)

YES! I DO!!!! 

Same situation as you. Most of my posts are in Addiction, but I too initiated everything and also do not want to reconcile, but something just isnt falling into place (thats the best way I can describe it)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

phillybrokenheart said:


> YES! I DO!!!!
> 
> Same situation as you. Most of my posts are in Addiction, but I too initiated everything and also do not want to reconcile, but something just isnt falling into place (thats the best way I can describe it)


Why did you leave and file for divorce?


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## phillybrokenheart (Mar 9, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Why did you leave and file for divorce?


I actually asked him to leave because of 2 reasons -
1 - his daughter was/is in need of serious help/counseling (born addicted, abandoned my her mom and raised by her alcoholic grandmother) and he refused to follow through with it. She had turned "my home" into a prison for myself and my 8 yr old daughter. 

2 - and most important is that he was a recovering drug addict who just happened to continually being relapsing.

Its in more detail in my previous posts.

And even after those 2 reasons, I STILL love him and miss him something awful. I just know I have to do whats right not only for me but more important, for my daughter.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

If you really loved him, you’d leave him because he’s not going to be motivated to change, to improve. I guess you will agree that he needs a lot of emotional help? That he is a mess the way he is. He’s hostile, he’s sadistic, and he depends on you far more than you can rely on him? If you truely loved him, you’d leave him because you’re so-called love is keeping him the way that he is. He won't change until he faces a real fear of loss.


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## MeetVirginia (Feb 17, 2012)

1 Day.....
I too am in a seperation and am not feeling any closure, I am happy I moved out, and its really too soon to feel "closure", but I am more confused and guilty than I thought I would be. See him all the time bc of kids and we are going to counseling to try and work together about the kids and communicate without fighting. Some days I feel like I just need to "cut the cord"!?


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