# Married to a woman who lied about her past.



## AXA4444 (Jul 3, 2014)

Hi, I am looking for input from folks who can view this from a distance. I met a woman over 5 years ago and went together a few months then got engaged. What she told me about her past was she had only been married twice and also lived with a guy for a few years. that is all I knew at that time. We lived far away from each other so I came to see her every two or three weeks and stayed for two weeks each time. Keep in mind we were engaged while doing this and then I began recieving letters from her last boyfriend that I thought was out of the picture telling me that they had been engaged 3 times while living together and she called them all off. His point was she would do the same to me or so I thought. Then he sends me pictures of them in bed together and also told me that she had been married 8 times before him and that I would be #9. He also sent names of these people. I was in shock. Then he sends me a letter saying that when I was not around they were still sleeping together. Here I am in love with this woman and not only has she lied but also betrayed me. I showed her all this stuff and it took her almost a year to come clean and admit it. It turned out to be all true. Even after all that I still loved her and we got married and have been 4 years. It has taken a great toll on me but I wanted her and she has been good for me but it is hard at times to accept what she did to me and what really bothers me is it didn't have to be this way. I just want to hear from someone else if I am out of line with my thinking or do I have reason to feel betrayed. Thanks for your time. AXA4444


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I am truly sorry for the betrayal.

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this. Married EIGHT TIMES before you? Wow, that rivals Elizabeth Taylor.

Where do things stand now? Did she tell you why she lied about her previous marriages (besides being embarrassed about so many failed relationships)?

Do you want to try to make this work, or do you just want out?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

You still married her. :scratchhead:


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

well, yeah...I can see why that might be a recurring thought problem for you. Cheating on you while engaged, lying about her past. 

But you married her anyway, knowing her past misdeeds. So...you pays the piper and you picks your tune. You picked, be happy with it. stop worrying about it.

How is the marriage going? Is she a good wife to you? Is she being faithful now? I guess in your unusual case, that is all that matters now


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

You married a woman who you KNEW lied about her past... Meaning you married a woman you knew the truth about.

This is all on you.

You did it. 

You were betrayed up until the point you were no longer in the dark.

Has she been honest since that time? No lying or cheating? You have fun together? Sex is good? 

Had anything new come to light?

Look, man up and live with your decision. Don't look back.

And if you can't do that get help. And if that doesn't work try meditation. 

But if she is still lying, leave and don't look back.

Seems she isn't though. If that's the case count yourself lucky and make your marriage wonderful and forget the past. Many, perhaps most liars continue to lie.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

She lied to you. You found out. Then you married her. So you accepted her as she is. Since you accept her despite her lies and cheating, you need to move on from all that. Yes it's hard. Get some counseling to work through this.

What you need to be concerned about how is how she treats you since you married and how she behaves.

If she's now and always a loving, faithful wife then you made a good gamble.

If she's not a loving, faithful wife get a divorce.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You married her after you knew.

That's your problem now. Question is, what do you do about it?

Seeing that you married her after you knew all of this, she must have redeeming qualities. Focus on those.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> You still married her. :scratchhead:


Dear Penthouse...


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tom67 said:


> Dear Penthouse...


Indeed. Thank you.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Entropy3000 said:


> You still married her. :scratchhead:


Exactly.

What. The. F*ck.


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## Mrs.Sav (Mar 13, 2014)

Eight prior marriages? She sounds broken.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> Exactly.
> 
> What. The. F*ck.


Waiting for post #2.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot indeed.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

i truly get that she lied to you at the beginning, that she was a cheater on tip of that, but at anytime you could have walked away, you could have told her that her past and her cheating was unacceptable. But NOOOOOO, you chose instead to still marry her, the only person you should be mad at...is staring in the mirror everyday....the only person to blame is yourself....it is not her problem anymore...its yours, she eventually told you the truth and still wanted to marry her so either you get individual help or you leave but this is not fair to her, now if she is cheating currently or has kids she did not tell you about...then you have every right to be concern and upset with her.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> Then he sends me pictures of them in bed together and also told me that she had been married 8 times before him and that I would be #9.


I'm sorry but ... when you go to apply for a marriage license both parties need to write on there when/if they were married before and produce proper paperwork for all previous divorces to ensure that no one is committing fraud/bigamy.

So - how did you fail to notice her filling this out?

I'm having a seriously hard time believing this.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

AXA4444 said:


> Hi, I am looking for input from folks who can view this from a distance. I met a woman over 5 years ago and went together a few months then got engaged. What she told me about her past was she had only been married twice and also lived with a guy for a few years. that is all I knew at that time. We lived far away from each other so I came to see her every two or three weeks and stayed for two weeks each time. Keep in mind we were engaged while doing this and then I began recieving letters from her last boyfriend that I thought was out of the picture telling me that they had been engaged 3 times while living together and she called them all off. His point was she would do the same to me or so I thought. Then he sends me pictures of them in bed together and also told me that she had been married 8 times before him and that I would be #9. He also sent names of these people. I was in shock. Then he sends me a letter saying that when I was not around they were still sleeping together. Here I am in love with this woman and not only has she lied but also betrayed me. I showed her all this stuff and it took her almost a year to come clean and admit it. It turned out to be all true. *Even after all that I still loved her and we got married and have been 4 years. *It has taken a great toll on me but I wanted her and she has been good for me but it is hard at times to accept what she did to me and what really bothers me is it didn't have to be this way. I just want to hear from someone else if I am out of line with my thinking or do I have reason to feel betrayed. Thanks for your time. AXA4444




Sorry but you have no right to complain. You married this with full knowledge. You just need to accept and move on. Every time you get these hurt feelings remember you chose to forgive and marry so let this go


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## WolverineFan (Nov 26, 2013)

I am sorry but I do not know what you are looking for. Did she come clean before you got married because that's what I understand from your post. If you went ahead and got married after knowing all of this had happened, why are you struggling now? It seems that you would have resolved all of those feelings and gotten your answers before getting to that point.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Why the **** did you marry her???


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## Boricha (Sep 29, 2013)

Some people have nothing better to do.....


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

Not sure if this one is real, but if the past issues did not cause a breakup, then I would enjoy the marriage. She seems nice and your letter has not complaints other than the past. She has been faithful while marriage, so I'd forget about it assuming she has done nothing to make you doubt her following the wedding.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

He should come back and try to talk this out of he isn't going to see a professional. 

Or this is an excuse for the affair he is having or wants to have.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Hi Walter/Carrie!


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