# Past problems coming back to surface



## Slyoun03 (Aug 1, 2020)

I’ve been married now for almost 5 years together for 7. In the first 3 years of our relationship I did everything above and beyond for my husband because I wanted him to see how much I love him. I let down barriers that I never did in previous relationships (as well as my previous marriage) and was completely vulnerable/submissive. At some point my husband (we were dating at the time) wanted a dog, a bigger breed dog, and I agreed to it but in the back of my mind I know it was a bad idea (I had 2 small children from a previous marriage and honestly I was not educated on how to care for larger dogs and didn’t do any research before hand) but he convinced me this was his “dream” dog and so I just trusted him and went with the flow.. it was a nightmare. We got the dog as a puppy but neither of us had the knowledge to properly train the dog, and when we had her evaluated by a specialist he’d pretty much told us something was “wrong” with her (the mother bit her as a puppy and he said that was her way of eliminating the puppy?). Any who, my husband in my opinion didn’t properly care for her and I was growing aggravated by the day of the destruction she was causing to my home. It was starting to put a huge strain on our relationship when we had ZERO problems before. The last straw came when the dog bit my then 6 year old son. My husband was not home when the incident occurred and I did not witness it, I just heard my son scream in distress and when I got to him, my son was laid on the floor in the fetal position with my daughter yelling that the dog had bitten him. From that point on I wanted the dog out of my house. My husband tried to down play the situation (mind you he was not there) and claim that she was probably playing and got too rough. It ended with us separating which really changed how I felt/loved him. I felt like after everything I’d done for him up til that point meant nothing when he was letting me know he cared more about this dog. And I felt I was made to be a ***** when I was choosing my kids safety. Eventually he rehomed the dog but it’s still a sensitive topic for me. It’s been 4 years, and I still think about it from time to time. We even argue every once in awhile because he feels I have changed and am not as emotionally connected and I just want to scream “I wonder why!?” In the mist of all of that we adopted a smaller dog and we’ve had him for 5 years. He’s old and so we expect he only has a few more years life expectancy and so for some reason the topic of dogs came up in a conversation between him and my daughter. He told her when our current dog passed, he planned on getting that same breed dog that he rehomed some years earlier. All those emotions started flooding back and we started to argue. It’s a few days later and it’s still on my mind. Like why would he want to put our marriage through that again? I can’t talk to him because I know it’s just going to be an argument, but I’m finding myself distancing from him from just the thought of going through that all over again!


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Never mind, found other thread


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