# Husband cheated before marriage



## Mysterious (Jan 31, 2013)

My husband and I dated for 10yrs. We've been married for two. And I just found out (through my brother in law, of all people) that my husband confessed to him about 3years ago that he had cheated a few years earlier. This is something I could've got over since we both made many mistakes in the beggining of our relationship because we were young and inexperianced. By the way, this is the only time I have EVER heard of him cheating while we dated. But the fact that he said that he cheated with my only (younger) sister, That I'm having a hard time with. I haven't confronted either, and that is where my dilema stands. These are THE two people I am most closest to so even the thought of it, I can't handle. Obviously if this would've came up years ago when it happned we would have never continued a relationship non-the less marriage. If this is true I can't phantom the idea of the two people I love the most lying to me in such a way and allowing me to continue in this fantasy of love and marriage. Which is why im desperate for advice and guidance since they are the people I'd usually be going to for comfort.


----------



## Loyal Lover (Jan 30, 2013)

Just wondering, how did your brother in law tell you? Why did he tell you? Why now?

Did he tell you how far the cheating went?


----------



## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

How you have kept this to yourself and blown them both sky high is beyond me.


----------



## Aunt Ava (Jan 24, 2013)

Do you believe the BIL? What prompted him to tell you this, and why didn't he tell you three years ago ....or at least before you married him? Have you seen anything in the way your sister interacts with your husband that made you pause? Or vice versa? 

They will most likely deny it, and will gaslight you until you find yourself apologizing for thinking such a thing. But if you believe the BIL maybe you should have hubby take a polygraph. 

Unfortunately, double betrayals like this are fairly common. Usually a BFF or neighbor, though.


----------



## CH (May 18, 2010)

IMO get out.


----------



## Mysterious (Jan 31, 2013)

The BIL is my sister's husband. He told me via text (random) He can be a bit crazy himself but I told him this a serious acusation and I don't see a reason for him to lie about it or make it up WHY? He said he tried telling me before but it was "too difficult" He said the confession from my husband (boyfriend at the time) was while my sister and I were on vacation. And that it happened once. Now that my sister and I are both married and she has family we interact all the time all of us and I have never seen anything out of the ordinary but then again this was years ago prob. about 6years. I estimate when our relationship was rocky not that I'm justyfing it.


----------



## Aunt Ava (Jan 24, 2013)

VIA TEXT!!! Well, I guess you can show the text to hubby and tell him you need the truth. Then show it to your sister, and watch her reaction.


----------



## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

What do you plan to do about this? I imagine you're still in shock though.


----------



## cj9947 (Jul 9, 2011)

If your BIL's accusations are true...you no longer have a husband or sister. "Blood" is no excuse to accept this behavior from a sister. Their relationship is beyond an affair. It is sick.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Speak to your BIL face to face. Ask for details. Ask him why he is telling you this now. And why by text. He tried to tell you years ago is no reason. 

What is going on between him and your sister? Why did he stay with your sister knowing that she betrayed him with someone who she would see often? 

What kind of crazy is he? Does he drink or drug?


----------



## jameskimp (May 8, 2012)

How exactly was your relationship rocky in the beginning and what kinds of mistakes did you both make?


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

the next time anyone makes an accusation to me, I would just take it directly to the accused and allow everyone due process. I really do believe that some people make up stuff. IF the accusation is true, then it must be followed up.


----------

