# muslim single mom and dating? Not meant to be? Sorry for rant



## kitty146 (Nov 5, 2011)

First off I'd rather not be judged and yes I am american with american culture and parents even pray in English. But the thing is I want my kids and progeny to have islam as the religion they believe. Don't really care if they don't or do the moral code. Just the same as if they were christian. But like I've wanted to marry and have more kids than the one I have. I was a 18 when I first married. I married a christian guy who was of african american and Puerto Rican descent. I'm completely mostly attracted to guys of either african american or Tamil indian descent. Although I myself am of some tamil indo-trindadian and mauritian descent and muslim it's rare to find and one I'm attracted to. Well I married outside of my religious background and denomination and realized soon after I couldn't stay married to him for several reasons. So we divorced and I never told him about our daughter because I've seen it happen ovr and over again. Where mixed couples religionwise always seem to have kids who go either atheist completely or with one religion. In my family all my cousins are christian except one or two. Reason why is they had mixed religon affiliated parents. I have never been a moral person but I'd rather not have to contend with anyone else. Perhaps if it were judaism it would be another story. Anyway now I've been raising Haley for 4 years alone. Since the whole incident I've kind tried dating but never wanted that to happen again and I never want any guy I've met compatible to me within my denomination. I like guys who are actually American with the exact culture yet even american muslims seem to somehow think they have to shed a bit of their own culture. For example, my mom sister and I always have **** gossipcoming from other women at the mosque saying we're not as religious as them because we dress in a western fashion which is our culture. So to me it's like within my own denomination I don't see how I could find a guy that could accept I'm not what some would expect I simply believe in the teachings of islam and don't exactly care about anyone's culture besides the midwestern american culture I grew up with. I won't wear hijab or any nonwestern clothing because the Quran never teaches that I have to. I won't speak any language but english. Yet with other guys who are christian I don't want to have kids talk about GOD with them or ever even see pork in my house. It's like last time I had to buy a cooler to put my own stuff in. For me I feel I'll never find anybody. It's like nobody is out the for me. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and hard spot. Like no one ever will be right. Am I meant to be alone.


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## expatforlife (Jun 12, 2011)

You might try going outside your local community and visiting Mosques in other towns to meet more potential men. I had not thought your stand was so different. I had thought there were plenty of Muslim that wore western cloths. I do not know if there are online communities where you could meet other Muslims, but it would be worth looking into. 

On a side note: I do not think that you keeping your daughter hidden from her dad is the best idea. It actually makes me quite sick. However you should be aware, that decision might even come back to haunt you one day.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

One thing: Keeping your daughter's father away from her will come back to bite you in the butt, maybe not now, but it will. It is inevitable, it will happen.

Another: You mentioned Hijab. There's nothing wrong with not wearing one or non-western clothing or wearing it. I'm a white woman with a non-mainstream religious view who head covers like her ancestors did (Irish tradition from the 10th century).

Head covering isn't always about religious view point, it can be cultural.

I agree with expat, perhaps visiting a mosque or a Muslim community might help you meet more people, not just men but more like minded people as well. It's always good to have a good support system.

No judgments here - I have some really good friends who are Muslim. I've read the Quran too.


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