# What do I do know



## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

so last night I was a little disappointed again as fiance said or promised to give me a treat aka oral but alas again he didnt come through..I didnt say anything but he knew i was a little upset..well I said i wanted a treat like you promised and he said tomorrow night if Im not to tired meaning him not to tired..well this morning he is acting weird and distant he said I was mad at him..told him Im not mad at all..he said Ill give you a treat tonight if I dont fall asleep..Im worried he is not into me anymore..he promised thses so called treats but never doees it..Our sex life seems to have dropped of and Im worried..also frustrated...how to I fix this?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Oral a treat? No for me it is the norm, both giving and receiving. 
Not to say that is right or wrong but if you are being strung along by "treats" then you need to do something. A serious talk is in order as a first step.


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

yeah he/we say that as a joke I guess..but I try dressing up nice for him..Lingerie ..and I always seem to be the one asking for sex..Im very frustrated about all of this...I dont knwo what to do..when I try talking about it it seems to do no good..I am really sad and he can see that but seems t not want to fix it...


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

DT4379,

I hope you see the HUGE warning flags waving all around you here!

Your fiance is a Low Drive person and you're a High Drive person. You have a typical mismatch situation happening here!

Please be sure to either work on this before the marriage (talk about what each of you expect out of your sex life including frequency, type (oral, vaginal, etc)) and try to reach a compromise.

Be sure to fix this before you get married! Seek out professional help if necessary! If you can't, best if you each find someone more closely matched to your own drives. Marriage WILL NOT make this better!


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Please, don't marry him. Do you want to deal with these feelings of rejection for 50 more years? 95% of men would rather peform oral on a woman than eat.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

DT4379 said:


> Our sex life seems to have dropped of and Im worried..also frustrated...how to I fix this?


He should go to a doctor and have his testosterone levels checked. If he's too low, then drug therapy could give him a higher drive. But that's uncommon. So, I'll assume he's healthy and just not very interested.

The easy answer is, you can't fix him. You probably can't even manage him. Best case scenario is that, with years of therapy and work, you can get to a point where you're not all that disappointed with your sex life. Worst case scenario is that he cuts you off completely at some point in the future. Most likely scenario is that your frequency will slowly decline over the next several years to an eventual point where you're only having sex a few times a year. At that point, you're beat down, depressed, and can't handle the rejection any more. So, you leave and look for another man after having wasted years trying to attract your current fiance.

I suggest you skip to the end and leave him now. Right now, you should be having the most sex with him that you ever will. Your sex life should be the envy of us all. If it's not, look for another man who wants you.

Good luck.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

How old are you both? Why is he tired?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Hicks said:


> Please, don't marry him. Do you want to deal with these feelings of rejection for 50 more years? 95% of men would rather peform oral on a woman than eat.


Lol. While I enjoy giving oral, I'd think most men would prefer to eat for survival than eat out a woman. Frankly, I'd prefer to do both 

To the OP, I am also engaged and the reason I am here is because I too have/had issues in my relationship that I want fixed prior to marriage. I suspect that at the very least your partner doesn't like to do oral. If so, that is a problem, hwoever if your fears are confirmed that your partner doesn't want to have sex with you much/at all are true then yes, you need to at least postpone the marriage.

It's one thing to go through life without something you enjoy, such as oral sex. That will be your call if you can live without it or if you need it. Sex itself though, I doubt anyone can really go the rest of their lives without having a partner that wants them and desires them, and I think this goes a bit moreso for women who are raised to expect men to come onto them.

When is your marriage scheduled to take place? Have you asked your spouse if he is interested in having sex with you anymore? If not, do so but do it in a non-accusatory way and whatever you do, do not freak out over his answer, even if he says that he's not that into you anymore. If you want him to be open and honest with you in the future you need to set up communication with him where he knows he can at least say whats on his mind without getting an earful.

What you do with that information afterwards is up to you.


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

he works long hours but so do I..both in our early 40's]


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Oral a treat? Yes indeed, I often daydream about giving my wife oral...I LOVE it.......Every lovmaking session includes her recieving oral...

She wasn't sure at first, being a prude by nature, but she soon opened up...literally...

But I can honestly say I don't think I recieved oral once a month over 47 years....


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

DT4379 said:


> he works long hours but so do I..both in our early 40's]


You'll have to define long hours

I leave the house at 6 AM and don't home until 7 PM

I'm rarely too tired!


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

Toffer said:


> You'll have to define long hours
> 
> I leave the house at 6 AM and don't home until 7 PM
> 
> I'm rarely too tired!


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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