# is it my fault



## boom (Aug 28, 2012)

Hi All, 

I would like honest opinions if this is my fault, I have a wife, foreign and she has left me. I met her in April 2010, we married together 3 months later. This was quite soon I know. At the time we loved eachother and I had to go back home and she wanted to come with me but we needed to apply spouse visa, so we needed to be married. She came over on a visit visa first time and she became pregnant, she started becoming angry all the time and sometimes got violent with me for small things such as me speaking to female friends i've known for a very long time, i got a phone thrown at me when i was talking to a male friend because she thought i was talking to a female. i thought it was her pregnancy hormones. eventually she went back to her home country to have the birth because she was not covered under NHS on a visit visa. once our baby was born i went to her home country to see our son, this is when problems got much worse between us. My wife was telling me lies saying there was a £1000 hospital bill, but there was not. I found out because she told me to give her the money and she would give it to the hospital, so I was suspicious and checked with the hospital and there was no bill. Because she couldn't rip me off, later that night she attacked me with pair of scissors so i went to the police but she told lies saying i messed her house up. actually i didn't, she messed her house up herself and told them i did it. i stayed with her because i have a baby with her. my parents divorced and didn't want to do the same thing to my child. before i came home she ran off and stayed out because she accused me of being drunk but i'd only had one beer. i still applied for her spouse visa, it was granted and i thought i could put our problems behind us. when she got here she was rude to me quite often and i didn't feel loved or trust her. i often asked her if she loved me and wanted to be with me till the point she got fed up of me asked and clawed me with her nails. i was confused because sometimes in an arguement she said she didn't love me so i would ask her after the arguement and she would get angry with me. i felt really insecure so googled her maiden name. i found she was talking to men on internet sites. i made an alias account and asked her if she has a husband and she said no. i blew my cover eventually. we argued about it and then she went back to her home country taking our son without my permission and i have legal battle to get my son back. is this my fault because i asked too much if she loved me or wanted to be with me? if i was a better husband would she have been a better wife to me? if i didn't seem insecure would she have stopped the bad things she did towards me? was it because i don't command enough respect? I actually paid all the bills and gave her half of what was left over, she would complain it is not enough. i think she wanted to send it to her family in her home country. I felt the need to check too much. Is this because what she did to me?


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

boom said:


> Hi All,
> 
> I would like honest opinions if this is my fault, I have a wife, foreign and she has left me. I met her in April 2010, we married together 3 months later. This was quite soon I know. At the time we loved eachother and I had to go back home and she wanted to come with me but we needed to apply spouse visa, so we needed to be married. She came over on a visit visa first time and she became pregnant, she started becoming angry all the time and sometimes got violent with me for small things such as me speaking to female friends i've known for a very long time, i got a phone thrown at me when i was talking to a male friend because she thought i was talking to a female. i thought it was her pregnancy hormones. eventually she went back to her home country to have the birth because she was not covered under NHS on a visit visa. once our baby was born i went to her home country to see our son, this is when problems got much worse between us. My wife was telling me lies saying there was a £1000 hospital bill, but there was not. I found out because she told me to give her the money and she would give it to the hospital, so I was suspicious and checked with the hospital and there was no bill. Because she couldn't rip me off, later that night she attacked me with pair of scissors so i went to the police but she told lies saying i messed her house up. actually i didn't, she messed her house up herself and told them i did it. i stayed with her because i have a baby with her. my parents divorced and didn't want to do the same thing to my child. before i came home she ran off and stayed out because she accused me of being drunk but i'd only had one beer. i still applied for her spouse visa, it was granted and i thought i could put our problems behind us. when she got here she was rude to me quite often and i didn't feel loved or trust her. i often asked her if she loved me and wanted to be with me till the point she got fed up of me asked and clawed me with her nails. i was confused because sometimes in an arguement she said she didn't love me so i would ask her after the arguement and she would get angry with me. i felt really insecure so googled her maiden name. i found she was talking to men on internet sites. i made an alias account and asked her if she has a husband and she said no. i blew my cover eventually. we argued about it and then she went back to her home country taking our son without my permission and i have legal battle to get my son back. is this my fault because i asked too much if she loved me or wanted to be with me? if i was a better husband would she have been a better wife to me? if i didn't seem insecure would she have stopped the bad things she did towards me? was it because i don't command enough respect? I actually paid all the bills and gave her half of what was left over, she would complain it is not enough. i think she wanted to send it to her family in her home country. I felt the need to check too much. Is this because what she did to me?


I'm sorry you are going through this but she sounds very unstable. Are you in the UK? Where is she from? I would be very concerned for my child's safety. Can you fight to get full custody of the child? I wouldn't worry about it being your fault...I'd worry about getting my child back.


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