# Pay Rent to Live With His Sisters?



## chellepadriga (Sep 17, 2015)

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we are serious, meaning we plan to one day marry and have kids. He’s 25 and I’m 26. Some of you know I stay at his house a lot but I go back and forth between my parents’ and his place. In our culture it’s still pretty common to live with parents if not married.

Anyways, he lives in a house with his sisters and one of their boyfriends. It used to be his moms but she got married and moved out. House was supposed to be my boyfriend’s but all his sisters moved back in after relationship issues in the past. He's been actually waiting for them to move out which is why it took so long for him to actually consider to move out until this point after he realizes they're not going anywhere.

For a while we have been talking about getting our own place but it’s hard when my job is kind of unstable but I’ve been saving money and him going to school is a lot of money. We are so tired of cleaning up after his sisters. We clean their dishes, put them away, throw away old spoiled food they leave out and in fridge, take out trash, cut grass, buy groceries, and I’ve cleaned the bathroom.

So last night my bf and I were completely shocked when they called a meeting and said we don’t help out enough. We explained how we have done so much and they just brushed over it on to another “issue” saying we never help buy toilet paper and other essentials when running low. My bf defended me saying I do that stuff. It is the truth, but I haven’t recently because I haven’t seen it ran low because I always see it in stock. So we said if it’s a problem let’s make a list of things we run low on and they’re like “I don’t think that’s necessary you should be adult enough to know” as if we’re psychic. They feel like they shouldn’t have to announce it.

Anyways, also they want me to pay rent now too. $400/month. I understand that and I believe that is fair, since I’m there a lot but I seriously wanna move out but I’m only there if my boyfriend is there. Do I really wanna pay rent for a place where nothing is mine and I have no property like clothes and such there when I can stay at my home and save money for a place?? My parents never made us pay rent so I can save money easier And maybe stay at my bf’s on weekend.

P.S. The sisters only pay for utilities like water, gas, electric, internet/cable and my boyfriend and the sister's boyfriend pays the rent to the mom. 

so bottom question:

1. They think my bf and I don’t do much around the house when we feel it’s opposite. They don’t even want to compromise on how to fix things, what do you suggest? We kind of “process” things differently.

2. Should I pay the $400 a month just to be with my bf for a place I want out of? Or is it better to stay more at my own place with parents (whom are never home) to save money for an apartment/condo next year?

At this point my bf I want to make it an early push next year for our own place. Last night he said he was tired of dealing with their stuff.. Maybe it’s just because having 5 adults is bound to clash. They have pissed me off so much on other stuff, this is the cherry on top to say I don’t help out. At least he’s on my side…


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

No. Stay home with your parents. Visit once in awhile. Don't keep anything there. Theses people are entitled and are using you. Be a smart young lady and don't get used by anyone. 

You are not married to this man. Why the heck are you picking up after them? You have no commitment here. When you are married, move out then. Don't ever live with these people. You will never be happy. 

That's my advice as a mum.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

I agree it sounds like a bunch of sisters trying take advantage of the situation. Finding another separate living situation is the best move. If your boyfriend is paying rent there he could pay it elsewhere unless it's really a token amount. If you can't find someplace to rent (in a group house or appt or something) then you need to live separately.

However this may lock you out is staying at your boyfriends place. The sisters will probably insist you don't use anything at all including water, TP etc. Be prepared for that. This is why a plan to move elsewhere with your boyfriend is better.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

chellepadriga said:


> I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we are serious, meaning we plan to one day marry and have kids. He’s 25 and I’m 26. *Some of you know *I stay at his house a lot but I go back and forth between my parents’ and his place. In our culture it’s still pretty common to live with parents if not married.
> 
> ...............…


How would any of us know anything about you as this is your first post?


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Don't pay rent and don't go back there.


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## chellepadriga (Sep 17, 2015)

Sorry, I copy and pasted this from another forum website I am a regular on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

No, don't pay them rent. If you are only there on weekends, why are they asking for so much?

Stay at your parent's place. you say that they are hardly there anyway. Why can't your boyfriend go hand out with you at your parent's place? He can still officially life with his sisters for a while. But at least you will not have to deal with that situation.

Save your money to get your own place whenever that happens.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> Or is it better to stay more at my own place with parents (whom are never home) to save money for an apartment/condo next year?


Yes, this is better. 

Get yourself out of the middle of this mess with this house and your boyfriend's sisters. It needs to be his mess to deal with; don't put yourself between him and his sisters. Stay away from their family drama. When an "outsider" is in the middle of family drama, things have a way of working out so everyone ends up mad at the outsider regardless of how things turn out between them. 

Just stay home, spend more time at your house with your bf, save more money, and when it's a good time to get a place together, do it. But not before you have the money. Moving in together if you're financially strapped is just going to add stress to the relationship.


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## Mrs.Submission (Aug 16, 2015)

Stay home and save.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You're 26. You should neither live with his family or with your's. You should be in your own place. It will costs a lot more than $400 a month but you're an adult. He's 25 and he should have his own roof, too. Learn to live as an independent adult for a while and after you're comfortable doing that you might later consider marriage, babies, etc.


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## Gonecrazy (Oct 12, 2014)

Good evening Chelle,

I believe you should stay in the house. The reason is for personal growth. You see, the world is full of fcuk wits, and fcuk wits use dirty tactics to get what they want in life. If you learn to negotiate people like this now, it saves you having to learn how to deal with them later!

I have been pushed out of two jobs in the past by people who saw me as a threat or who wanted my job. I lost a really good job once because I was intimidated. I now have learned to become a predator and the last person who tried to get me fired, ended getting the sack himself, as I was the instigator. I didn't lose my good job I have now, too a fcuk wit!

Here's what I think you should do. Firstly, this is not about home jobs or money, they just want the house to them selves. So you play their game and you dance their dance. Who owns the house and how much rent is payable to that person? You divide the weekly rent by 7 (days) and then by the number of people who are present on those days. That way every body pays for what they use.

You make a list with the sisters of all the jobs that are to be shared, the approximate times that they will take, and how often that they are to be done. You then divide them up equally by the hours per week that they take. Every week you swap which cluster of jobs that you do. You are also to inspect each others work for approval. If there is something for example, mirror not cleaned well enough for the person who is doing the bathroom, that gets added to the list and when jobs are switched, you can also check that they are doing the same quality job.

When it comes to shared items such as toilet paper, you agree as a house hold which toilet paper brand and what size package to buy. That way you take turns and it costs the same for everyone on their turn to buy. You sign off when you buy. If you follow a strict protocol, there will be nothing to cry about. By doing this you remove any false "issues" between you guys and if they still try to get you out, they will be forced to tell the truth.

There is always a way to ensure that every one pays and does their share. You also set up a weekly meeting for the house to air any issues that they may have. You make sure that they know that you want harmony in the house hold. If the issues are really about house duties (which I think they are not, you're probably having loud sex or something and they are jealous), the problem will stop. If not, you are cornering them to either shut up, or start another issue, which you then can asses and deal with in a similar manner.

The earlier you learn to deal with people through negation, compromise, the better you will be in all other areas of life. Believe you me, there are lots of fcuk wits out there!

Good luck!
Gonecrazy


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

You say you are from a different culture, then you would know the norm for this kind of thing

1. Why is the house supposed to be your boyfriends, but everyone is living there? You said everyone pays rent to his mother? If it is his, then he can kick them out?
2. If you guys are living there then you should contribute to the upkeep of the house
3. Yes, you should pay rent

However, seeing the family is quite conniving, better you stay with your parents or rent your own place, problem solved.


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## chellepadriga (Sep 17, 2015)

You say you are from a different culture, then you would know the norm for this kind of thing

1. Why is the house supposed to be your boyfriends, but everyone is living there? You said everyone pays rent to his mother? If it is his, then he can kick them out?
It was supposed to be put in his name but some how never got to that point. We had it to ourselves for a few months until everyone moved back in due to their relationship issues. It was supposed to be temporary but they never moved out. It just kinda became "The Family" home...where the mom still comes and goes. 

2. If you guys are living there then you should contribute to the upkeep of the house.
I never said I shouldn't contribute. Also, I mentioned we do. The issue is, is that they are blind to see that. Maybe because I don't announce I clean the bathrooms, kitchen, take out the trash, etc. I bet if I stop they would notice maybe...
3. Yes, you should pay rent

However, seeing the family is quite conniving, better you stay with your parents or rent your own place, problem solved.


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## chellepadriga (Sep 17, 2015)

chellepadriga said:


> You say you are from a different culture, then you would know the norm for this kind of thing
> 
> 1. Why is the house supposed to be your boyfriends, but everyone is living there? You said everyone pays rent to his mother? If it is his, then he can kick them out?
> It was supposed to be his and he made most payments and it was to be put under his name but never was. We did have the place to ourselves for a while but then the sisters moved back in due to relationship issues which was supposed to be temporary but they seem to have gotten comfortable. It became "The Family House" where the mom still comes and goes.
> ...


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

If you want to get married to this man, do you want to increase your chances that your marriage will be happy and successful?

Don't get wrapped up in this crap. It will lead to nothign but problems in your eventual marraige.

When your man marries you and makes the ultimate committment to you, then live together.


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