# Do you think there ever is regret/remorse?



## Intruder (Sep 23, 2010)

Well, in a few short days...I'm going to be divorced.

What a whirlwind. I have accepted this is the way it will be, I have learned to realize the rewritten history is how she'll remember our 16 years together.....heck I even accepted the fact the guy she blew up our family for will be her husband shortly after the ink is dry.

I've gone out on a few dates, and wordered shortly after they started.."How did I get to this point? What am I doing here?"

She has headed straight for this like a mission, never looked back, never wavered...

Do they ever have remorse? Maybe not now, but do you think they look back someday and have a little regret?


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I wonder the same thing. I hope so, and I hope it hurts their heart like they have hurt our hearts.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

hesnothappy said:


> I wonder the same thing. I hope so, and I hope it hurts their heart like they have hurt our hearts.



I feel the same way. This is all new to me and I just don't understand why it is happening. The wounds are fresh and raw and I can only hope that H feels one-tenth of the pain that I feel.
Is that bitterness beginning to seep in?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I was just talking to my father about this the other day. I consider him to be one of the wisest people I know. He answered:

"Some do. Some don't. And some are just jerks."



Intruder said:


> Do they ever have remorse? Maybe not now, but do you think they look back someday and have a little regret?


They may and they may not. But I can assure you she will think about the fact that she unilaterally decided to end your marriage.

Move on with your life. Be happy. And don't worry about her anymore. 

Good luck.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I think most people who dump a 16 year relationship for a new unknown soon have remorse and regrets. The grass is rarely greener elsewhere. I've had a couple women dump me for other guys and both have since came crawling back around trying to patch things up with me. 
If someone is unhappy with themselves, no man or woman is going to make them happy.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Thanks for this thread. I am feeling a little sad this morning about my past (recent) and these posts are making me remember what I know to be true. I didn't lose anything when my husband walked out the door. He definitely is the one with the issues!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> If someone is unhappy with themselves, no man or woman is going to make them happy.


This, 1000x over! :iagree:


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> If someone is unhappy with themselves, no man or woman is going to make them happy.


I think this is so true. My disloyal has said over and over, "you don't MAKE me happy." I think that's a sure sign of an insecure person with self-esteem issues as well as being codependent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Intruder (Sep 23, 2010)

This morning I was booking my summer vacation for the boys and I, and I guess that's what prompted me to write this post.

She gave up, tossed me and the marriage away.....she did a great job of not only burning bridges, but she tore them down. She left no road open back to the marriage....

And even though she has treated me like a sick animal....I still have some remorse that my family will never be what I dreamed of.

Yet she cruises on.....just hard to understand.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It IS hard to understand and it may seem like she is cruising ahead but eventually her actions will catch up with her.

But it's not your problem anymore. I know it hurts like hell but you are going to move on and live a happy life w/o her. She was just one part of your life. The future is starting today, this moment.

Where are you guys looking to summer?


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## Intruder (Sep 23, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> It IS hard to understand and it may seem like she is cruising ahead but eventually her actions will catch up with her.
> 
> But it's not your problem anymore. I know it hurts like hell but you are going to move on and live a happy life w/o her. She was just one part of your life. The future is starting today, this moment.
> 
> Where are you guys looking to summer?


We always go to Ocean City, MD...I just need a hotel with a kiddie pool, sand and places to see at night. The boys love it 

Really to be honest, when I see her...all I see is the alien that isn't attractive to me anymore.


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

My H is doing the same thing, rewriting the 29 year history of our marriage and life together, all he can seem to focus on is the hurts, not the good. He can't seem to see all the pain he is inflicting, not only on me, but soon on our kids. He plans to tell them tomorrow that we have separated, I will talk to him tonight about if he is going to say 'divorcing' to them. I asked him to ease it a bit with the separation, he didn't answer. He thinks they will not be surprised and I keep hoping that their pain will help him see how important this marriage is to his family. My chest hurts so badly I think strangers can see it. He is coming by to cut the grass, I am making a meatball dinner,see if he will join me. I know he is sad and lonely, but stuck in this bad place.


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