# Sexual Demands



## hbgirl (Feb 15, 2011)

How would you handle your spouse throwing a fit and saying "Why don't you just stop having sex with me?!" This is at least 5 times in last 3 months. Any time he doesn't get sex the way he wants it, when he wants it he gets so mean I don't want anything to do with him at all. Keep in mind he gets sex at least 4 times a week if not more. So is it just to make me feel bad and control me...............


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

hbgirl said:


> How would you handle your spouse throwing a fit and saying "Why don't you just stop having sex with me?!" This is at least 5 times in last 3 months. Any time he doesn't get sex the way he wants it, when he wants it he gets so mean I don't want anything to do with him at all. Keep in mind he gets sex at least 4 times a week if not more. So is it just to make me feel bad and control me...............


Tell him that throwing a fit is a REAL TURN-OFF (and it is) and wish him better luck tomorrow.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

I'd comply and stop having sex with him. If he complains, just say it was his idea.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

hbgirl said:


> How would you handle your spouse throwing a fit and saying "Why don't you just stop having sex with me?!" This is at least 5 times in last 3 months. Any time he doesn't get sex the way he wants it, when he wants it he gets so mean I don't want anything to do with him at all. Keep in mind he gets sex at least 4 times a week if not more. So is it just to make me feel bad and control me...............


What specifically is he asking for that he does not get in those fours times a week?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You apparently don't believe he has a legitimate beef. He obviously is upset about something. Neither of you have a monopoly on rationality. When a guy says he wants or needs sex, typically, what he's really saying is that he needs comfort, validation, or intimacy. We frequently don't express ourselves in the best way for women to respond. I don't know why he feels he needs what he needs, but his need feels real to him. If a "reasonable" quantity of sex doesn't placate the need, maybe sex isn't what he's really after.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Seems like he's throwing a hissy fit like a little kid who doesn't get his way. I would be tempted to comply with his suggestion and quit having sex with him until he can talk and act like a grown-up. 

Doesn't really matter what it is he wants if it's something totally disagreeable to you. You need to be able to both agree on and compromise with each other as to what you are both comfortable doing during sex. That involves communication, and that appears to be something that he is sorely lacking in. Is there ever a time, not in the heat of the moment, when you can discuss this in a more rational manner?


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

I would try to talk to him when things are calm and say that you are concerned and feel like you aren't pleasing him and that when he gets really upset you feel hurt and mistreated. Go see a MC if that doesn't work. He is acting really defensive which means he doesn't know how to talk aobut this issue.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

hbgirl said:


> "Why don't you just stop having sex with me?!"


Tell him "Why don't you grow the **** up and stop being a little beotch? That's MY demand, buster!"


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

What is it he wants? Sex 4 times a week and he still isn't happy. What is going on?


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