# Dating and sex



## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Been dating a girl now for only a couple weeks. We have a lot of fun together. Actually have been on many dates and hung out a lot. I would probably say about 6 or 7 dates in 2weeks. A lot I know! But she has been forward about hanging out a lot. We have not had sex yet,made out a lot and that's about it. I'm not trying to rush her into anything. One time we came pretty close to having sex,but she wanted to hold off and said it will happen soon enough. I know she is attracted to me,and said I was very sexy etc,and I expressed the same. I saw her yesterday 2days after that night,and she didn't really feel like messing around as much,could tell she was kinda tired from work,which is cool,I was tired as we'll. I know all women are diff,I've dated girls and had sex first night or within a week. Is it normal for some girls to make u wait a few weeks? I def respect her for making me wait,and obviously not gonna going running away if she makes me wait a while. So far I like her and hope it turns into a long term relationship. Thanks for your input 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yes, it can be normal depending on the girl.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

First, I would like to congratulate you (and her) for being smart and holding off on sex. In my opinion, the longer you 2 hold off the better off you are.

I think it's EXTREMELY important to build proper foundation for healthy relationship. When you are intimate too soon, people simply get blinded and don't thank as clear. We also tend to miss clear red flags as we go on and get blinded (by our private parts AND our hearts).

Sex = feelings go into over drive and relationship progresses WAY too fast and you miss crucial steps. It's like building a house on top of a foundation that hasn't set yet......or is not there AT ALL (let's face it 2/3 dates is not even a start).

Hold off on it for couple of months. Get to know her VERY well and figure out if the person in front of you is the person for you. Make sure they don't have any red flags/deal breakers etc.

It's all about TIME. Invest as much time as possible and continue to build the relationship proper!!!!

I'm so happy/glad to hear that people still do this. I always here guys/girls say "if we don't bang on 2nd or 3rd date it's over".......well that's not smart. And it blows my mind that this has been accepted in our society. It doesn't make any sense. Then people wonder why their relationship is messed up or doesn't work out. 

I guess if you want a piece of ass/fling.....but for relationship? ummm.....NO

Sounds to me like you found a smart woman with a good head on top of her shoulders.

I also have very little respect for people that get into bed with others without getting to know them proper.....which again takes time. ALL under assumption they are looking for a relationship (clearly this doesn't apply to people that want to have fun). Clearly MANY people have very little self worthiness/self respect if they are willing to give their bodies away to stranger.

You are doing it right OP.

I've said it before and I will say it again:

*It's in the BEST interest of both parties to hold off on sex as long as possible when building a proper relationship. Get to know the partner VERY well before you get intimate......it's all about TIME INVESTMENT*

And no, I'm not a woman.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Too soon to tell if it's an issue or not. A couple weeks is nothing. Some of us will go for the sex, because that is part of the FUN! Others have their own "time limit/requirement", others like so see how long they can put it off (like a sh*t test I think), others just like the fun and don't really care about the sex except they know that it should happen sooner or later and is a part of the whole mating process. (Those are the scary ones...imo)

And yes, some people require months of quality time to see if this is the "right person"....nothing wrong with that. Guess it just depends on your idea of sex in regards to a relationship.

If you enjoy her company, then it's just too soon to judge..... have fun and hopefully it will work out well!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Another thing I wanted to add is the longer you 2 hold off, the more build up of pressure there will be and more intense it will be as well when it actually happens.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about incompatibility. But I would recommend having some discussion on the subject at some point in the future just to get a feel of how sexual she is/you are and your sexual desires/requirements. Frequency is an important subject to discuss, and she might want to know your size as well (which is perfectly fine too). Even if it means you show it to her to make sure she is fine with it.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

I think you already know the answer that different people go at different rates. I went out with one girl on six dates and two months and barely kissed. It wasn't a match, but not because of that. I've had sex early in a relationship and then that relationship has lasted a long, long time, too. 

I personally don't see too much correlation, but if you feel like its time, you should talk to her about it. Communication is still key. Though even though you've had 6-7 dates, its only been about two weeks.. that's not that long, honestly.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

DoF said:


> First, I would like to congratulate you (and her) for being smart and holding off on sex. In my opinion, the longer you 2 hold off the better off you are.
> 
> I think it's EXTREMELY important to build proper foundation for healthy relationship. When you are intimate too soon, people simply get blinded and don't thank as clear. We also tend to miss clear red flags as we go on and get blinded (by our private parts AND our hearts).
> 
> ...


wise words indeed! nothing to add to this


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

devotion said:


> I think you already know the answer that different people go at different rates. I went out with one girl on six dates and two months and barely kissed. It wasn't a match, but not because of that. I've had sex early in a relationship and then that relationship has lasted a long, long time, too.
> 
> I personally don't see too much correlation, but if you feel like its time, you should talk to her about it. Communication is still key. Though even though you've had 6-7 dates, its only been about two weeks.. that's not that long, honestly.


this is true in my experience also.

I did a 'one night stand', so I thought. that lasted 3 years.
but it was fraught with difficulties and many ups and downs.
another relationship, I tried to slow her down, but she wanted sex right away. too much pressure.

so you're right. it varies a lot between people. but I still believe strongly it's better to wait, whether for religious reasons or not.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

* Frequency is an important subject to discuss, and she might want to know your size as well (which is perfectly fine too). Even if it means you show it to her to make sure she is fine with it.

*

Almost made me spit coffee!! :rofl:


Really? She might want to know his size???? I have never heard of any woman inquiring about his size, as tho that would be the deal breaker. On that note, you should ask her how roomy vs. tight her vagina is. :rofl:


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

jorgegene said:


> this is true in my experience also.
> 
> I did a 'one night stand', so I thought. that lasted 3 years.
> but it was fraught with difficulties and many ups and downs.
> ...


PS. I'm not religious AT ALL

I would get sour taste if women wanted to have sex too fast. HUGE red flag.

Chances are high if she wants it with me, she did it with others as well. 

I would break it off immediately, and if I thought the person was worthy to proceed with......and they were willing to wait......I would expect an STD test prior to any sexual activity.

But I doubt it would go that far. Getting sexually involved too fast is a good indicator of person's character and lack of self respect/self worthiness IMO.

Not a good sign, HUGE red flag.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

SunnyT said:


> * Frequency is an important subject to discuss, and she might want to know your size as well (which is perfectly fine too). Even if it means you show it to her to make sure she is fine with it.
> 
> *
> 
> ...


Well, it depends on the person. To MOST women, size is very important and often a deal breaker.

If a women is willing to wait and size is important, and asked me such question I would tell her the truth or even offer to show it to her.

It's best to cover these things without investing too much time. But at least couple of months in. Where OP is now, it's too early IMO. 

Getting an idea of how sexual the person is and their requirements is important as well.

I'm EXTREMELY sexual, so I would like to know how sexual the other person is and their frequency.

If it's not daily or every other day, it's over for me. 

But I'm a complete freak.



Such discussion would also mean a LOT to me as openness/honesty and most importantly COMMUNICATION would most likely reach ALL TIME HIGH at that point. And we all know communication is the key to any relationship.

PS. No, tightness of vagina is irrelevant to me. Frequency is.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

DoF said:


> First, I would like to congratulate you (and her) for being smart and holding off on sex. In my opinion, the longer you 2 hold off the better off you are.
> 
> I think it's EXTREMELY important to build proper foundation for healthy relationship. When you are intimate too soon, people simply get blinded and don't thank as clear. We also tend to miss clear red flags as we go on and get blinded (by our private parts AND our hearts).
> 
> ...


Thanks for your input. I appreciate it. I have had diff relationships in the past and we had sex really early in dating. It is a game changer and I know I'm my past relationship we had sex in about a week,and it does cloud your brain a bit. I'm at the point in my life that I'd she ends up being the one,I have no problem waiting. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

FishKing said:


> Thanks for your input. I appreciate it. I have had diff relationships in the past and we had sex really early in dating. It is a game changer and I know I'm my past relationship we had sex in about a week,and it does cloud your brain a bit. I'm at the point in my life that I'd she ends up being the one,I have no problem waiting.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:

Sounds like she is worth waiting for too. 

Personally I have VERY little dating experience (but have gone thru it myself as well). All of my advice is my common sense and what I have seen with other people (especially men). 

Once they have sex, their **** completely takes over their mind.....heart does as well........and they seem SO blinded by what's RIGHT in front of them. Funny thing is, when you tell them REALITY, they will not accept it and continue to be blinded....until they realize it YEARS down he road.

Weird how we trick ourselves as humans. ****/heart thinking gets people in SO much trouble. And NO ONE is exempt from it all.

Applies to women too.


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

I didn't sleep with my SO for 2-3 months when we first started dating. There were a couple of red flags with him at first, and I wanted to make sure this was actually going to be a solid relationship before I shared that part of myself with him.

Don't know if that's 'normal' or not, but it worked for me... four, nearly five years later we have a pretty strong relationship.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

DoF said:


> PS. I'm not religious AT ALL
> 
> I would get sour taste if women wanted to have sex too fast. HUGE red flag.
> 
> ...


Ya I like her a lot,and guess I'm not use to a real women making you wait for sex. Maybe it's just me,but I think I was thinking she was not that into me making me wait ,but I'm sure I'm wrong
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

DoF said:


> :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:
> 
> Sounds like she is worth waiting for too.
> 
> ...


I think she is definitely worth waiting for. So far there are no red flags and she is a lot of fun 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

FishKing said:


> Ya I like her a lot,and guess I'm not use to a real women making you wait for sex. Maybe it's just me,but I think I was thinking she was not that into me making me wait ,but I'm sure I'm wrong
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think you are.

If the fun/spark remain when honeymoon period is done (2 years about) you are golden.

Note, I probably wouldn't wait 2 years for sex though hehe


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

DoF said:


> First, I would like to congratulate you (and her) for being smart and holding off on sex. In my opinion, the longer you 2 hold off the better off you are.
> 
> I think it's EXTREMELY important to build proper foundation for healthy relationship. When you are intimate too soon, people simply get blinded and don't thank as clear. We also tend to miss clear red flags as we go on and get blinded (by our private parts AND our hearts).
> 
> ...


I agree here. My experience would say that she values herself and wants to know that she has a connection and that a strong possibility of a relationship need to exist before sharing her body. That's great all around cause she values herself, you and the new relationship. :smthumbup:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

hmmm,

how important is sex to you?

in my experiance if you don't honestly comunicate that you think sex is important .....Then it won't be important and you could fall into the she controls all the sex and your always just getting scraps.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

chillymorn said:


> hmmm,
> 
> how important is sex to you?
> 
> in my experiance if you don't honestly comunicate that you think sex is important .....Then it won't be important and you could fall into the she controls all the sex and your always just getting scraps.


Not sure if I would go that far.

BUT few months into relationship, personal sex expectations/desires and frequency should be discussed.

Compatibility based on answers should be considered before going on.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

FishKing said:


> I saw her yesterday 2days after that night,and she didn't really feel like messing around as much,could tell she was kinda tired from work,which is cool,I was tired as we'll.


Low sex drive alert!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

DoF said:


> Not sure if I would go that far.
> 
> BUT few months into relationship, personal sex expectations/desires and frequency should be discussed.
> 
> Compatibility based on answers should be considered before going on.


A few months into a realtionship......

I would be pi$$ed if I waited a few months and time money spent only to find out we wern't compatiable sexuslly.

I guess thats whats dating is for. after a few dates I'd put the moves on and if I was shot down then I'd know time to move on and she would know glad he moved on.

disclaimer I would not put the moves on unless I really liked her and thought that there was reason to. but i would also be true to myself and realise that well its just not cutting it.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Low sex drive alert!


Possibly

I'm probably going to take "wait month or 2 to talk about sexual requirements" back and say have this talk with her within next few weeks.

Just get a feel of her sexual drive and figure out if it matches yours. And of course tell her about your drive as well, cause it might not be for her either.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

FishKing said:


> Been dating a girl now for only a couple weeks. We have a lot of fun together. Actually have been on many dates and hung out a lot. I would probably say about 6 or 7 dates in 2weeks. A lot I know! But she has been forward about hanging out a lot. We have not had sex yet,made out a lot and that's about it. I'm not trying to rush her into anything. One time we came pretty close to having sex,but she wanted to hold off and said it will happen soon enough. I know she is attracted to me,and said I was very sexy etc,and I expressed the same. I saw her yesterday 2days after that night,and she didn't really feel like messing around as much,could tell she was kinda tired from work,which is cool,I was tired as we'll. I know all women are diff,I've dated girls and had sex first night or within a week. Is it normal for some girls to make u wait a few weeks? I def respect her for making me wait,and obviously not gonna going running away if she makes me wait a while. So far I like her and hope it turns into a long term relationship. Thanks for your input
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Just curious...how old you both are. You sound very young.

You say you`ve dated others and had sex with others, but you`re asking if it`s normal for some girls to wait. 

Every girl is different, so some want it sooner than others, and some want to control sex and ration how often you get it. Be aware of the latter type...you don`t want that.



DoF said:


> Another thing I wanted to add is the longer you 2 hold off, the more build up of pressure there will be and more intense it will be as well when it actually happens.
> 
> Personally, I wouldn't worry about incompatibility. ...


Ya...and he`ll probably last 2 seconds because he waited for so long. Honestly.

I would definitely concern myself with compatibility. To me there is nothing more important than compatibility in and out of the bedroom. It is paramount to a relationship. 

If you like sex and want sex, and think you`ll always want it, and don`t want to be in a sexless relationship, then don`t start out the gate into a sexless relationship. You may be sending the wrong message, that it`s okay, sex isn`t that important to you. If it is important to you, make sure she knows it.

Just sayin`.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

tulsy said:


> Jus
> I would definitely concern myself with compatibility. To me there is nothing more important than compatibility in and out of the bedroom. It is paramount to a relationship.
> 
> If you like sex and want sex, and think you`ll always want it, and don`t want to be in a sexless relationship, then don`t start out the gate into a sexless relationship. You may be sending the wrong message, that it`s okay, sex isn`t that important to you. If it is important to you, make sure she knows it.
> ...


Look, like I said in my previous posts. I'm a complete freak and an extremely sexual. But I think benefits of waiting outnumber the risk associated with getting involved too soon.

It also depends on the person. Me, I'm very emotional and get attached WAY too fast. Intimacy = complete blindness. I don't want to put myself in that position and cloud my vision.

Some might be able to handle it better.

personally I will take the risk BUT I would make sure that our sex desires match within few weeks of relationship by communicating it.

I would give it couple of months before getting intimate and make sure the person is a good fit etc. This takes time. I would also like to know the person well, which requires time as well.

When you have sex, you feel as if you know that person EXTREMELY well.....but in reality, it's the opposite.

As far as your "too quick first time" comment. Not at all, my right hand would be EXTREMELY busy during all the months of waiting.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

tulsy said:


> Just curious...how old you both are. You sound very young.
> 
> You say you`ve dated others and had sex with others, but you`re asking if it`s normal for some girls to wait.
> 
> ...


 Lol. I'm not young,I'm 40 and she is 38. Reason I asked these questions is I was married for 14 yrs and divorced,so was outa the game for a while. There is definitely chemistry and sexual attraction we were messing around the other day and she was saying how sexy and passionate I was and she said she has a feeling it's gonna be good when the time comes
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

DoF said:


> Look, like I said in my previous posts. I'm a complete freak and an extremely sexual. But I think benefits of waiting outnumber the risk associated with getting involved too soon.
> 
> It also depends on the person. Me, I'm very emotional and get attached WAY too fast. Intimacy = complete blindness. I don't want to put myself in that position and cloud my vision.
> 
> ...


I totally agree the last girl I dared for 4 months we had sex within a week,and my vision was completely clouded and I looked past the fact she suffered from severe depression and things went to ****.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Have some real class with her. Don't even consider the remotest possibility of having sex with her. Ignore every impulse. She'll start thinking about you, wondering what's wrong with then watch it. After a few more weeks, you better be ready...!


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Q tip said:


> Have some real class with her. Don't even consider the remotest possibility of having sex with her. Ignore every impulse. She'll start thinking about you, wondering what's wrong with then watch it. After a few more weeks, you better be ready...!


U think?? I thought about that,and figured she would think I'm not that interested in her if I try an avoid that,or not try an say make out with her as much
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

When I first met my wife, we took it slow. We were both 25. I learned she was a virgin after several months. It was something she didn't want to talk about. 

I started to really like her without sex clouding our relationship... She always said eventually, she would be ready. She didn't give me an answer.



After about a year, we had sex..She couldn't relax, it wasn't euphoric, it wasn't exciting, it wasn't enjoyable... It was a bad for both of us... It was painful for her and it took many more months before we had sex again...

Some how we married and we now have a daughter... She is LD beyond belief...I have always been patient in hopes that sex will improve. That never happened..

Judging from all the threads on TAM, sexual compatibility is a huge factor in a relationship. 

Personally, I would rather not fall for another woman just to find out in 6 months that we spent all this time together, fell in love, and sex is just horrible. I truly love my wife, but sex has been so mismatched over the years and has caused so much resentments and anger. 

IMO...falling in love first and then the sex is amazing is just a fairytale...My mind is somewhat jaded. Sorry


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Trickster said:


> Judging from all the threads on TAM, sexual compatibility is a huge factor in a relationship.
> 
> Personally, I would rather not fall for another woman just to find out in 6 months that we spent all this time together, fell in love, and sex is just horrible. I truly love my wife, but sex has been so mismatched over the years and has caused so much resentments and anger.
> 
> IMO...falling in love first and then the sex is amazing is just a fairytale...My mind is somewhat jaded. Sorry


I think the answer to this dilemma is very different depending on whether or not you've been in a sexless relationship. I agree with you. Why invest time, money and energy in a relationship if the compatibility factor that separates a romantic relationship from every other relationship that you have is undetermined? It just makes no sense to me.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

COGypsy said:


> I think the answer to this dilemma is very different depending on whether or not you've been in a sexless relationship. I agree with you. Why invest time, money and energy in a relationship if the compatibility factor that separates a romantic relationship from every other relationship that you have is undetermined? It just makes no sense to me.


I agree with u,but the messing around we have done,I have no doubt in my mind it's going to be great when the sex comes. She said the same thing the other day!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

FishKing said:


> I agree with u,but the messing around we have done,I have no doubt in my mind it's going to be great when the sex comes. She said the same thing the other day!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



And then two days later she was too tired and not interested.

I suspect your eagerness and wishful thinking is already clouding your judgement.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

yeah sport, it IS normal for women to want you to wait a while until she considers you a proper partner for sex. :rofl:


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> And then two days later she was too tired and not interested.
> 
> I suspect your eagerness and wishful thinking is already clouding your judgement.


We'll we did mess around a bit,couple different times,just not so hands on like 2 days before. It is possible she is just wanting to hold out a few to make sure it's going to turn into real relationship. Is prolly say something to her if say maybe 2 more weeks go by and nothing,I'm not pushy,but I think at least talking to her about it is smart. Least find out what her sex drive is 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

FishKing said:


> We'll we did mess around a bit,couple different times,just not so hands on like 2 days before. It is possible she is just wanting to hold out a few to make sure it's going to turn into real relationship.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Sure. It's possible.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

FishKing said:


> We'll we did mess around a bit,couple different times,just not so hands on like 2 days before. It is possible she is just wanting to hold out a few to make sure it's going to turn into real relationship. Is prolly say something to her if say maybe 2 more weeks go by and nothing,I'm not pushy,but I think at least talking to her about it is smart. Least find out what her sex drive is
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I never wanted to be pushy either. She told me every guy would leave after they realized they weren't going to get sex right away. She was the first women I told about my baggage and she actually stayed. The women before her never wanted the relationship or to even go out on a real date. They would just come over for fun. I guess my wife was my first real gf..She was a friend and we had that bond...At that time, she was my first relationship since I stopped drinking. It was a whole new experience.

after we D, I don't know what I would do for my next relationship. I think I would want to know the reason to wait. If the attraction is there, if the desire is there, why wait? 

I would wonder if she was having sex with somebody else just to keep me waiting so I wouldn't think she was easy...again, mind is somewhat askew.

A poster said that a few posts up...

if you both enjoy sex?


I know your previous marriage was nothing like mine...


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Trickster said:


> I never wanted to be pushy either. She told me every guy would leave after they realized they weren't going to get sex right away. She was the first women I told about my baggage and she actually stayed. The women before her never wanted the relationship or to even go out on a real date. They would just come over for fun. I guess my wife was my first real gf..She was a friend and we had that bond...At that time, she was my first relationship since I stopped drinking. It was a whole new experience.
> 
> after we D, I don't know what I would do for my next relationship. I think I would want to know the reason to wait. If the attraction is there, if the desire is there, why wait?
> 
> ...


I hear what your saying. We have only dated 2 weeks,so I'm figuring she just wants to make sure it's the real deal and not that were gonna have sex and then just leave her. I'm def like like that,but maybe she is not sure yet. I'll give it a couple weeks and if nothing happens I will bring up to her!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

FishKing said:


> I hear what your saying. We have only dated 2 weeks,so I'm figuring she just wants to make sure it's the real deal and not that were gonna have sex and then just leave her. I'm def like like that,but maybe she is not sure yet. I'll give it a couple weeks and if nothing happens I will bring up to her!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I get that too. 

How long have you known her?

I think somebody mentioned both of you getting tested for STD's.

That can be a good way to talk about it...

Do you both want a monogamous relationship?


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

Early on, my wife and I made out a lot. The first week, we had lunch every day. I guess it was 4 lunch dates and by that first Friday night, I had her top off. Lots of Loving, touching, squeezing each other.... 

Couldn't resist borrowing those lines....

Her panties didn't come off for 9 months or so... She kept on saying that she wanted to make sure I was for real...at least by then, I could touch her down there, then after a year, I was allowed to rub my member against her, just as long as I didn't go inside....Even after PIV, it hurt her so much, I couldn't go in all the way...I just have an average pecker....

I don't think you will even come close to this extreme... I will just say that I really loved her back then and still do....


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Trickster said:


> I get that too.
> 
> How long have you known her?
> 
> ...


ive only known her for 2 weeks,lol we met on match.com.. we talked a couple days ago about that we both agree that we only date one person at a time,so you could say its exclusive


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

There's no right or wrong answer to this. Some people are fine to jump right in, others wait a bit and still others won't even consider sex before marriage. They're all perfectly fine options.

It all comes down to compatibility. I personally wouldn't wait until marriage...no way. Sex is too important to find out after the fact that it sucks or is rarely going to happen.

I also wouldn't jump right in again - did that once, and the relationship lasted a while but it definitely clouded my judgement...

Hubby and I waited about 3 months, we both really liked each other and wanted to make sure we had a solid footing on which to build our relationship - but we had lots of hot make out sessions 

He courted me, it was so romantic and I needed it so much after what I'd been through previously. Both of us have some great memories of those early days, *sigh*.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

If you like her then don't push to make out too much. Sit back and see if she makes an advance. Otherwise just enjoy each other's company and take time to get to know each other. 

Tell her you want to wait until she feels ready to take that step. She'll really appreciate your respecting her that way.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Trickster said:


> Early on, my wife and I made out a lot. The first week, we had lunch every day. I guess it was 4 lunch dates and by that first Friday night, I had her top off. Lots of Loving, touching, squeezing each other....
> 
> Couldn't resist borrowing those lines....
> 
> ...


weve been on about 6 or 7 dates in 2 weeks, kinda lot compared to other girls i dated..second date we made out, and ever date after that, until about 2 dates ago, was at her house we made out and the hands were all over the place, even down south on her,obviously clothes still on, she pulled my hand up after a few seconds and smiled, said she liked it, but said it will happen soon enough...i think she really just wants to be sure that its gonna be a real relationship..after looking at all these posts and replying, im realizing its is still really early on!! I like her, and think she is worth the wait, again its just hard at times, cuz as a man, you think, ok is there something wrong?? as the last couple i dated it was on within the first night or week,but as you can see those relationships didnt go anywhere!!


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

indiecat said:


> If you like her then don't push to make out too much. Sit back and see if she makes an advance. Otherwise just enjoy each other's company and take time to get to know each other.
> 
> Tell her you want to wait until she feels ready to take that step. She'll really appreciate your respecting her that way.


i agree with you, i actually wanted to mention that to her, just to reassure her that im not out for one thing, i think she will really appreciate that and probably put her at ease. Im hanging out with her this weekend, and will bring that up at the right time


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

FishKing said:


> I totally agree the last girl I dared for 4 months we had sex within a week,and my vision was completely clouded and I looked past the fact she suffered from severe depression and things went to ****.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep this is the 3rd relationship you have posted about here since Feb I believe....every one of these women you felt was 'the one".. worth it.. then it fizzled.....

You said she stopped you from going down south with your hands, do you feel she felt the sexual tension in that -- even though she stopped you...was it hard for her ??

I am one who feels it's wise to have some sexual restraint if you are looking for something lasting.. yet having some FUN while getting to know each other is good too ! in due time..things should progress as she feels more secure / comforted in what you share ..

It should go from *1st base* kissing..., *2nd base* touching her breasts & she's loving it ...*3rd base* reaching for the hot spot & even orgasming & she'll want to satisfy you too.... and *Home Run *...going all the way...PIV..

If you start feeling too much hesitation (she is always tired, little enthusiasm)- she doesn't seem the affectionate type.. she could be a lower drive woman.. and this could cause problems later on... trying to decipher all of this while in the early stages of dating.. not to be pessimistic, but it's important to not ignore any of the red flags ...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

FishKing said:


> ive only known her for 2 weeks,lol we met on match.com.. we talked a couple days ago about that we both agree that we only date one person at a time,so you could say its exclusive


And you have been on 6 or 7 dates already? Within 2 weeks? 

Where do you find the time? That is truly amazing.

Based on your pattern of dating that you have posted here, it seems you rush things really fast, so many dates in so little time. Just saying.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Yep this is the 3rd relationship you have posted about here since Feb I believe....every one of these women you felt was 'the one".. worth it.. then it fizzled.....
> 
> You said she stopped you from going down south with your hands, do you feel she felt the sexual tension in that -- even though she stopped you...was it hard for her ??
> 
> ...


Ya this may have been the 3rd thread I posted about a girl. I never said this one was the one. Only the first one. I've learned a lot about myself and getting back into the dating scene since then. I like this girl so far,but a little skeptical about dating at times. Some times it's hard to not think a new relationship will go to crap,based on the past. But trying to be open minded. As far as the hands going south,she liked it,but I may have been moving a little quickly for her. She said she liked it. My eyes are wide open looking for any red flags!!! At the moment I don't see any. I plan on talking to her when I see her this weekend,just to reassure her that I'm not just trying to get in her pants,maybe will put her mind at ease a little. I'm assuming that's maybe why the next night we were together she held back a little,again we only have dated 2weeks so far!! So I'm going to slow down a bit and get to know her better
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> And you have been on 6 or 7 dates already? Within 2 weeks?
> 
> Where do you find the time? That is truly amazing.
> 
> Based on your pattern of dating that you have posted here, it seems you rush things really fast, so many dates in so little time. Just saying.


I totally agree it's been a lot of dates!! It's worked out great,I've been getting off around 3pm everyday and she gets off work at 530ish,so been really convenient. Here the crazy part,after out first date,I told her we should go out again,and she agreed,I set a date a week later. A few days before that date she texted and said it seems so far away! From the second date on she has been the one that made the advancements to go out sooner. After another date I said same thing again about let's go out again soon,and she said how about tomorrow!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

DoF said:


> Another thing I wanted to add is the longer you 2 hold off, the more build up of pressure there will be and more intense it will be as well when it actually happens.
> 
> Personally, I wouldn't worry about incompatibility. But I would recommend having some discussion on the subject at some point in the future just to get a feel of how sexual she is/you are and your sexual desires/requirements. Frequency is an important subject to discuss, and she might want to know your size as well (which is perfectly fine too). Even if it means you show it to her to make sure she is fine with it.


Show it to her? You mean something like this?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PmnKOkt7fI


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> And you have been on 6 or 7 dates already? Within 2 weeks?
> 
> Where do you find the time? That is truly amazing.
> 
> Based on your pattern of dating that you have posted here, it seems you rush things really fast, so many dates in so little time. Just saying.


It's ok, though. He's "going slow"...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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