# Holiday visitation....total disregard?



## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

Here is the situation and I need advice about if I am being "uncooperative" or "mean" or if I am simply standing firm.

Going through a divorce. Almost ready to sign settlement, just waiting on the paperwork. We have been alternating with kids every other week switching Friday at the end of school.

On her last proposal she added a new holiday visitation schedule that is commonly used by the state. You don't have to use it but you can. It is as follows:


II. HOLIDAY VISITATION:
a) HOLIDAY EVEN YEARS ODD YEARS
Spring Break Custodial Parent Non-Custodial Parent
Fall Break Non-Custodial Parent Custodial Parent
Thanksgiving Break Custodial Parent Non-Custodial Parent
First Week of Christmas Break Non-Custodial Parent Custodial Parent
(From after school day care on the last day of school before the break until 6 p.m. on December 27th)
Balance of Christmas Break Custodial Parent Non-Custodial Parent
(From 6 p.m. on December 27th until return to school or day care on the day school resumes)
b) All Mothers Day weekends shall be spent with the Mother.
All Fathers Day weekends shall be spent with the Father.
The weekend shall begin at 6 p.m. Friday before Mother's Day or Father's Day and conclude on the following Monday morning at the return time for regular weekend visitation. Father's Day weekend is not available for Mother's summer visitation.
c) THE HOLIDAY SCHEDULE SUPERSEDES ALL REGULARLY SCHEDULED VISITATION.
The Holiday Schedule shall be governed by the school the child attends or would attend if not of school age. If a child is not yet attending school has an older sibling who attends school, holiday visitation with the child not attending school shall be governed by the schedule for the school which the older sibling attends.


She put it in her proposal. At first I didn't like it but then agreed to it and told her I would accept it. That was about two weeks ago. She is not really a true "custodial parent" but for the purposes of implementing this schedule she will be called the "custodial". According to this I get the kids this year for Thanksgiving. 

Well this afternoon she told me that she is taking the kids for Thanksgiving. I informed her that I get them this year. she starts freaking out and telling me that I am not being cooperative, that she hoped we could be adults about this, that I am just being mean and selfish, etc. I tell her that I am just going by the schedule that she proposed and I agreed to. Then she calls back later and tells me that since the agreement isn't signed that she isn't going to adhere to it and since Thanksgiving is on her week that she gets them.


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## RunningOnEmpty (Aug 29, 2010)

You don't have the agreement signed off.

Do you have any temporary orders issued by a judge/court?

If not, she has as much right as you do to the kids.

You are about to sign what seems a 50/50 agreement, which is great.

Just change it so that this year she gets thanksgiving, and next year you get thanksgiving.

Get the agreement signed and filed, and then you can enforce it.


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## paperclip (Feb 24, 2011)

Since there is no Legal agreement in place, why not ask her if you can pick up the children after they have their dinner with mom for desert with your family/friends?

I understand it's tough, but until there is a legal agreement in place it will be difficult.


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