# MY affair



## totalmess (Apr 28, 2015)

I did it. I cheated, I'm the cheater. I went outside my marriage looking for something that I wasn't getting at home. 

It started off as a friendship, nothing more. He was going through a divorce because his wife cheated (numerous times), ironic, I know. We hung around the same people, we always ended up together in the crowd. I didn't see anything wrong with talking with him. But then I noticed subtle changes and I should have ran away but I didn't.

It started off as an EA, he was focused on me and it was nice to have someone pay attention to me, to want to be with me. complimented me, he listened to me, he talked to me. In a group setting, alll was good, it was safe. But the we started to spend time together, alone at his place and we both knew what would happen and we let it. We only slept together once, most of the time was spent talking and kissing and cuddling. Still an affair but it wasn't all about sex.

I'm not naive, I know I should have gone to my husband for all this but when this happened 10 years ago, I thought my marriage was over. We never did things together, we didn't talk. I didn't want to have sex with him, there was no desire. All we had in common was our children.

My affair from beginning to end was 3 months. We knew what we did was wrong and there was no good ending is sight if we continued. We both moved on and I haven't seen or talked to him since. 

I haven't told my husband, nor will I EVER tell him. I've lived with the guilt this long, I can continue to do so. Yes, he has a right to know and to decide for himself what he wants to do. But not happening, I'm continuing to be selfish and not saying a thing.


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