# husband doesn't want to ejaculate in my mouth during oral sex, WHY?



## NALLA80 (Oct 9, 2011)

One aspect of our sex life that really bothers me besides not having enough sex is that he doesn't want to ejaculate in mouth during oral sex. Is that common? 

The thing is I love giving him BJ but is that a turn off for a guy to come inside a woman's mouth?


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Personally that's my dream my wife doesn't do that.

I figure any way I get it inside her is good!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

If the two of you are having full blown sex which includes a BJ before intercourse, he may want to reserve his load for intercourse. But if its just a BJ with no intercourse, then his reluctance to come inside your mouth may just be his own insecurity of letting go during orgasm.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Maybe he just wants to kiss you later.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

And... you could ask him why and see what he says.


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## NALLA80 (Oct 9, 2011)

I have been married to my husband for over 7 years and been together for 10 years, but I also learned that he is Bi-Curious. might that be the real reason? 
I mean I figured after 10 years he could do it at least once because he knows how much I want it, I cannot keep wondering if it is because I am a woman and not a guy?


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Judging from your other post about him being bi-curious, it is a real possibility that he is gay, and he is not excited sexually by a woman.


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## jenis (Feb 9, 2011)

Not defending Brian here, but the combination of a gal wanting it (which maybe isn't all that uncommon) and a guy refusing it (which has to be very uncommon) would seem to make this situation a real outlier.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

To some husbands, it is considered disrespectful to cum in his wifes mouth even if she wants him to. Not saying thats it. Just saying it could be.


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## Brian. (Aug 5, 2011)

PBear said:


> Ignore him. He's never been with a partner, much less anyone who actually like sex.


Even you gotta admit this is almost to hard to believe.

A woman wanting it and the man refusing to do it  It doesn't seem for real. I think it can very well be a man who gets off on writing a thread like this(this is the exact type of thread a perv like that would create)


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

No, I don't gotta admit it's hard to believe. It's definitely in the realm of possibilities. And to be perfectly honest, I can see you in a similar situation. Refusing to believe a partner wants "xxx" simply because she's a woman, and women don't like sex and aren't sexual beings. Whether xxx is anal, cum in mouth, a threesome, or even an orgasm for that matter. I truly hope you stumble across a partner willing to teach you healthy sexual attitudes in a loving relationship early in your life.

I also don't see the titillation value for some "perv" to make up the thread. And after all, she did post back. Most trolls are one shot wonders.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Benevolent (Oct 7, 2011)

I am new guy on this forum, but I must admit that I think that some of you guys are being disrespectful. If you don't think that you have much to add to the discussed topic, you can always elect not to comment. As far as it seems, everybody has the right to bring up whatever topic they want, and you have the right choose whether you want to participate or not.

Back to the original comment - when I was new to BJ's (a long time ago!), I felt a little bit strange about ejaculating in a girls mouth because I didn't think that it was pleasant for the girl and it didn't seem natural to me.

Since then though, I have no problem with it and definitely find it a turn on. In fact, if she was to pull off before, I think that it would ruin part of the orgasm for me. To be honest with you, my wife likes it as well - it is a turn on for her.

I would talk to him to understand why he doesn't like it.


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## NALLA80 (Oct 9, 2011)

I guess it is safe to say that it is actually a turn on for many men according to the comments, I figured it has something to do with his bi-curious side. 
thanks for all the inputs.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Most mens view on this would be along the lines of; the only way to tell the difference in a 9 and a 10 is .......wait for it.........a 10 swallows! LOL


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> Maybe he just wants to kiss you later.


I can see that being a reason. My H loves it when I swallow but I can't have my head anywhere near his because he hates the smell and sure as hell doesn't wanna taste it. I have to head to the bathroom and brush/mouthwash before I head back to bed to cuddle with him again.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yes, I'm the same way - after I ejaculate I get all kissy kissy and I don't want the taste of my own sailors in my mouth! Even if the missus likes milking them all out dry. Not always my choice however.


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## Apples to Oranges (Oct 11, 2011)

I know I would not kiss after the fact until teeth were brushed and/or a good gargle ...with mouthwash.

Or he may think it dirty or degrading and does not his wife to do this. I know I did and did not want GFs to do it until one particularly skilled girl left me with no other choice. After that I did not have a problem with it. 

Now my wife on the other hand does not like it at all. Once back in dating times, we were making love and I whispered in her ear that I wanted to cum in her mouth, she playfully said that she was going to tell my mother that I wanted to do dirty things. Another time I in the heat of passion I asked her again and she *very* jokingly said not until you see a ring on this finger.

Long story short we have been married 8 years. She got the ring and I got left holding the shaft, so to speak. But seriously she knew I wasn't giving anyone a ring for a bed-trick, and I knew she wasn't into it so I never asked again.


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## nice_cheryl (Oct 15, 2011)

This is interesting.


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## uphillbattle (Aug 17, 2011)

It very well could be the fact that he feels it would be degrading and he has too much respect for you to let you do it. Differnt people have differnt views. I used to cum on my ex wife's face, but would never do that with my current wife. The reason for this is because I view it as being very disrespectful and I realy did not like my ex wife very much (yes I know I was a complete ass hole in this reguard to her). 
Some people just have certian hangups, you should sit down with him and have a talk about it and ask him his reasons why. It may inlighten you as to what is going on in his mind.


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## Randy52 (Oct 15, 2011)

If the lady is OK with it and even expects it, I can't see that "respect" has anything to do with it. It could be his "conditioning" from his sexual history. In my previous marriage, oral sex from my wife was strictly a foreplay thing, never to completion, and seldom at that. The first BJ I received from the lady who is now my 2nd wife was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I could tell early into it that she was going to stay down until the end. There was absolutely NO doubt when I was nearing ejaculation, but not knowing her expectation, I asked if it was OK. Her reply was a muffled "uh-huh" and I obliged her. Every time since then I have not had to ask.  Since that first time, I have always made it a point to kiss her passionately afterwards.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I'd say it is just a personal taste thing(no pun intended). Personally, my x wife and I had no desire to even try this, we thought it was understandably yucky. In another thread, one can mention touching a woman's feet, and some people run for the hills, yet think nothing of this. It's just a personal preference.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

I suspect he's just not that sexually adventurous or he thinks you don't really want that (ie that he's being nice/kind).

I think a lot of us men see it as the opposite: that's it a very accepting thing. I know my I feel very accepted by my wife when she finishes me in her mouth.

And I've never understood guys who didn't want to kiss their wives after they finished in their mouth. I kiss my wife long and deep every time after she swallows me.


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## highlander (Oct 31, 2011)

I had a similar situation with my wife after being married for about 2 years. Whenever she used to give me a BJ I would not come into her mouth because I was too afraid of a negative reaction. She then asked why don't I and I explained my reasons, however she said it would be a major turn on for her. It turns out she loved watching porn films where this is common so it had developed into a fantasy for her and confessed she once had an older man do this to her before we were married. When she was pregnant and not into normal intercourse she used to like to masturbate while she sucked me and then get me to time it right so that when she was having her orgasm I ejaculated into her mouth. 
I have to say that whilst this was pretty erotic for me I still felt "guilty" for some reason, perhaps because it was a role play situation?
Maybe your husband feels the same way?


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

southbound said:


> I'd say it is just a personal taste thing(no pun intended). Personally, my x wife and I had no desire to even try this, we thought it was understandably yucky. In another thread, one can mention touching a woman's feet, and some people run for the hills, yet think nothing of this. It's just a personal preference.


And it just a bonus if you find that total package! :smthumbup:


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

I always figured that by the time a male was through his teens, he was so used to having semen all over from his "self-exploration" that he was beyond the 'yuck' phase!

Sex is supposed to be messy if you're doing it right!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I really want to get the nerve to try this sometime. Not sure how my hubby would feel, but I'm guessing he wouldn't object. Maybe I should start a thread on 'learning' how to this. Sorry to go OT - just makes me think of what we are both missing out on...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> I really want to get the nerve to try this sometime. Not sure how my hubby would feel, but I'm guessing he wouldn't object. Maybe I should start a thread on 'learning' how to this. Sorry to go OT - just makes me think of what we are both missing out on...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



He'd probably love it! Just do it. Or you can always pause and TELL him what you want him to do. He'll find that sexy one time.

A similar situation once happened with my wife. She would finish me in her mouth, but once her jaw got sore and she just ended up using her hands and stroking me and kissing the tip.

When I was about to climax, I kind of moved down so her stroking would just cause me to shoot on her chest -- otherwise it was going on her lips and face. I just assumed she wasn't keen on that.

But after she finished me off she kissed the tip and said "You could have left it there you know."

So you just never know who likes swallowing, facials, etc, until you ask!


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## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> I really want to get the nerve to try this sometime. Not sure how my hubby would feel, but I'm guessing he wouldn't object. Maybe I should start a thread on 'learning' how to this. Sorry to go OT - just makes me think of what we are both missing out on...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



My husband loves it. The first time I let him I didn't tell him so when he tried to pull away I just grabbed his butt so he couldn't really move away. After he told me it was one of the best orgasms he had. I was also very turned on by it so it was a win win. I figured worse case if i didn't like it I just wouldn't do it again.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I prefer to swallow...no mess.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

square1 said:


> My husband loves it. The first time I let him I didn't tell him so when he tried to pull away I just grabbed his butt so he couldn't really move away. After he told me it was one of the best orgasms he had. I was also very turned on by it so it was a win win. I figured worse case if i didn't like it I just wouldn't do it again.


Yeah - that works. Works very well.


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## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Yeah - that works. Works very well.


Lol yeah . The sex right after was great too. Apparently once he realized I had swallowed he was turned on even more.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

square1 said:


> Lol yeah . The sex right after was great too. Apparently once he realized I had swallowed he was turned on even more.




Very happy for the both of you...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

YinPrincess said:


> I really want to get the nerve to try this sometime. Not sure how my hubby would feel, but I'm guessing he wouldn't object. Maybe I should start a thread on 'learning' how to this. Sorry to go OT - just makes me think of what we are both missing out on...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There's been some threads about it already, so do some searching. Try "happy husband" as a search term. 

C


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> I really want to get the nerve to try this sometime. Not sure how my hubby would feel, but I'm guessing he wouldn't object. Maybe I should start a thread on 'learning' how to this. Sorry to go OT - just makes me think of what we are both missing out on...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Before I'd ever swallowed, he used to give me a heads-up and I'd position myself (neck back, chest forward kind of thing) or he'd tell me where he was going to ....then one day, I just thought "why not?" I could feel his surging so I kept my hand busy while I pulled back, looked up at him and whispered "cum in my mouth" wrapped my mouth back around him and held my tongue out. Despite him liking that in it's own right, the element of surprise was a huge turn-on.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> Despite him liking that in it's own right, the element of surprise was a huge turn-on.


I bet! Well done.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Maybe you bit him once and now he's gun shy.


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## highlander (Oct 31, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> Before I'd ever swallowed, he used to give me a heads-up and I'd position myself (neck back, chest forward kind of thing) or he'd tell me where he was going to ....then one day, I just thought "why not?" I could feel his surging so I kept my hand busy while I pulled back, looked up at him and whispered "cum in my mouth" wrapped my mouth back around him and held my tongue out. Despite him liking that in it's own right, the element of surprise was a huge turn-on.


Thats a great turn on to splash it over your lady's tongue. Looks great for the man and i guess not bad for the girls!


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

I don't even know what to say. As a guy, that's a no-brainer. I've been married for 26 swallowless, minimalist BJ, years, and it's a major frustration to me. My wife just doesn't have much interest in putting anything of mine in to her mouth. The irony is just striking that I'm longing for a good BJ (which by definition in my book includes an enthusiastic swallow) and will never get it, and your husband has it at hand and doesn't want it. Unbelievable! I don't know what the "bi-curious" has to do with it.


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## robot_90 (Jan 20, 2013)

NALLA80 said:


> I have been married to my husband for over 7 years and been together for 10 years, but I also learned that he is Bi-Curious. might that be the real reason?
> I mean I figured after 10 years he could do it at least once because he knows how much I want it, I cannot keep wondering if it is because I am a woman and not a guy?


i love eating ***** out just to taste her cum and im pretty sure females think the same for guys


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

The first time my wife gave me a BJ, I told her, I'm about to orgasm, want me to pull out? She said no, in my mouth, so from that first time, she always has me orgasm in her mouth and swallows.

After we got married, I asked her, do you really like BJ and swallowing? She said, not really, taste, etc. but knows I love them.

I asked her what can I do to make it better for you then?

She told me her fav drink, chocolate Almond milk nearby. Done!!! She also told me she doesn't like it when I put my hands on her head and use her head for the BJ. No hands. Done!!!! She has control and is relaxed. 

If I want it deeper, I tell her, deeper in your mouth and she does. 

Now she used to jam my head into herself while I was giving her oral. She almost broke my nose so I told her I don't like that, I can't breath. So now she lets me have control, I'm relaxed and its all good.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Thread is over 2yrs old.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

pidge70 said:


> Thread is over 2yrs old.


But the topic is timeless...!


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

NALLA80 said:


> One aspect of our sex life that really bothers me besides not having enough sex is that he doesn't want to ejaculate in mouth during oral sex. Is that common?
> 
> The thing is I love giving him BJ but is that a turn off for a guy to come inside a woman's mouth?


You gotta ask him. Maybe a previous partner made him feel nasty or self-conscious about it. In my book, you are lucky. Semen is nasty. Sorry, you can eat all the pineapple you want. Blech. And for the record, I let him cum in my mouth. It's always been gross to me ever since I started having sex. Yuck. And I would never tell a man that info unless he wanted me to swallow (getting nauseous).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

NALLA80 said:


> One aspect of our sex life that really bothers me besides not having enough sex is that he doesn't want to ejaculate in mouth during oral sex. Is that common?
> 
> The thing is I love giving him BJ but is that a turn off for a guy to come inside a woman's mouth?


No, it's NOT a turn-off, but he may be worried that you'll object, have negative reactions, or he might have designs on finishing some other way.


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

PBear said:


> No, I don't gotta admit it's hard to believe. It's definitely in the realm of possibilities. And to be perfectly honest, I can see you in a similar situation. Refusing to believe a partner wants "xxx" simply because she's a woman, and women don't like sex and aren't sexual beings. Whether xxx is anal, cum in mouth, a threesome, or even an orgasm for that matter. I truly hope you stumble across a partner willing to teach you healthy sexual attitudes in a loving relationship early in your life.
> 
> I also don't see the titillation value for some "perv" to make up the thread. And after all, she did post back. Most trolls are one shot wonders.
> 
> ...


 / I have HEARD of ladies training their SO to not come period till she was finished SE UNITED STATES . control is so important.


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## joseph1964 (Jan 24, 2017)

Benevolent said:


> I am new guy on this forum, but I must admit that I think that some of you guys are being disrespectful. If you don't think that you have much to add to the discussed topic, you can always elect not to comment. As far as it seems, everybody has the right to bring up whatever topic they want, and you have the right choose whether you want to participate or not.
> 
> Back to the original comment - when I was new to BJ's (a long time ago!), I felt a little bit strange about ejaculating in a girls mouth because I didn't think that it was pleasant for the girl and it didn't seem natural to me.
> 
> ...


I like the feeling of my unit in her mouth but it is not good enough to orgasm. I need to be holding her and french kissing, The point that she orgasms is when I reach orgasm


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