# Wondering if im doing the right thing..



## rooster2176 (Oct 20, 2009)

My wife of 10 years cheated on me for 8 months. She is now pregnant with our 5th child and the only way i know it is mine is the fact that she marked everytime that she was with this other guy in her calendar and she had taken a break from him for the month that she conceived I have since found what i have thought to be forgiveness in this act. but i still have questions to the fact that how does someone do this to someone they are supposed to be madly in love with?? To top all of this off this guy was supposed to be my best friend and we talked about what was wrong in mine and my wifes relationship before this started. He used all the info that he got from me to WOO her into sleeping with him. She states that she now knows that there was nothing between them two and it never could of lasted as he is a DEADBEAT He has been married 2 times and been cheated on by his 2 wives that he did have So he knows what it feels like to have the shoe on the other foot. I confronted this guy so many times over the 8 months about the affair and he denied it to me. My wife has since come clean and told me everything from the start of it all. we were having problems in our marriage that did lead to this And the first was the Communication that we had forever disappeared when she started reconnecting with old friends on the phone. well this led to not as much time as i am used tp having with her. Then she started going over to a friends house all the time and staying away from home. She BLAMES this on me as she says she could not stand to be around me during these times. And then she started going to meet this Friend of ours ALONE. i was uncomfortable with this from the start as i knew the way he was. But i trusted her to not fall into anything with him. Then it come upon January and the guy made his move she rejected him the first time then decided it would be ok to seperate from me and went on a trip with him. she says that is was not planned for them to be together on this trip but that is hard for me to believe. She decided that it was best to return to me and the kids instead of staying gone. but she continued to use her girlfriend as a cover to go meet this guy and have sex with him and her friend knew what she was doing and didnt have the heart to tell me at all either. My wife told me she was torn between leaving me for this other guy or just Settling with me. because she had felt the Spark was gone in our marriage. Well i found out in August and she told me it was over that she would Cut all ties to this guy. he has since called her several times to try and get her to meet him to TALK and she tells me about this and i even seen the E-Mail telling him she was where she wanted to be and there was nothing going to happen between them again. so that leads to me questions. Is it normal for me to have a small amount of doubt that she is going to be able to remain Faithful?? Is it normal for me to have times where i just want to be away from her because i just cant stand to see her for a bit?? I feel that we can get back to where our marriage was before this. She has begged me not to leave her as she has realized she was wrong and wishes it had never happened i have access to all the E-Mail accounts, Cell phone accounts, and anything else that she could be using to talk to him. So will the trust return to where i can be comfortable of her visiting friends because i know right now that i am not ready to let her leave the house alone. She says she loves me with all her heart and cant bear to live without me. Why would she not think of this before. And another matter is she has brought it up that she wants to see if we can restore our friendship with the other guy I told her this would never happen. how should i feel if she starts pushing this??


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Your questions are normal. Your doubts about her are normal. She shattered everything you knew about her. Will trust return? Don't know. It does for some and never does for others.

Why didn't she think of her love for you before? Because she wasn't feeling love for you before.

Restore friendship with the other guy? Is she nuts? If she pushes it, I'd be worried. He has no place in your life ever again.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Wait a minute. You are going by her calender regarding when she stopped sleeping with this other guy? Does that mean that she slept with him again after that month? How do you know? You had better get a DNA test. She wants to restore the friendship? I would sincerely get up in her grill and tell her this. "If you so much as mention his name, let alone being friends again, or if I find out you have contacted him in any way, we are through. You are so passive she has/is treated/treating you like a door mat.


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## foolz1 (Sep 5, 2009)

Rooster2176, it sounds like you have huge problems in your marriage. I too think you should keep this "third wheel" out of your lives. WTH is she thinking, by wanting to be friends with him again???


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