# Expecting a hard night this Christmas Eve



## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

A little background: My STBXH has delayed every motion, divorce talk, mediation and seems to always come out smelling like a rose. 2 years of separation and we are still legally married. After many affairs, ex has now met a new person that he is spending time with but is always broke and never sees or pays his child support on time.

Tonight, my MIL invited my daughter and I over for our traditional xmas eve family party. I have a small family with only one sister and nephew that live close by so my in-laws have been my family since I met them. 

STBXH had the nerve to ask his mom if he can bring a guest. She told him she would not allow any woman into the family gatherings until he was divorced and got his life in order with his finances and child. I do respect her for sticking to her values as I do as well. 

Now - I just found out that ex will not be at party but his new gf is paying his airline ticket to Washington DC for him to meet her family. WTF??? This 53 year old man has $16.00 in the bank, has not made any plans to exchange gifts with his one and only child but will be partying in DC with some other family.

I am so pissed, jealous, sad and depressed today. I was a great wife and mom to this man and feel that I am the only one who has all the pressure, finances, parental responsibility, sadness over marriage ending and always feel alone. 

Can't wait for the holidays to be over!


----------



## txrover (Nov 7, 2013)

Frustrated, i agree with you as sometimes it is not fair. My STBXW is spending her Christmas in Cali, while i stay here in Tx by myself. 

I know how it feels as sometimes we make sacrifices and the other half does not and finds away to make it work out. Keep your chin up as it will get better and the members on this forum are very helpful and friendly.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Seems way to long to have been on your presiding judges docket! Most of them want some explanation of what's going on. As far as they're concerned, if there's a delay with the proceedings, there had better be a viable reason.

Having said that, I'd have my lawyer press for closure before the Court ASAP right after the New Year!*


----------



## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

Thanks Txrover - Sorry to hear about your similar situation. 

Most days I am pretty accepting of my new life and can cope with the every day events without looking back but it hit me hard when I heard STBXH would be traveling out of state to meet gf family which he just met. I have been in a funk for the last 24 hours. Crying, sad, pissed, jealous and just depressed. 

I hope to move on in 2014 and have a finalized paper in front of me. I think it will put my mind and heart to rest that it is officially over. this limbo stage is awful! At least for one of us.


----------



## Honorbound (Nov 19, 2013)

He sounds like a 53 year old teenager to me.

Don't worry. I'm betting new GF and her family see through him pretty quickly. People like that always end up at the bottom where they belong... sometimes just takes a while for karma to catch up to them.


----------



## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Or perhaps he is lying to you about how broke he is. Mine tries to lie about his finances all the time. I just nod and smile and think "****wad you make twice what I make, but if it hurts that bad, go ask your girlfriend who makes the same salary as you."

I want to say it, but for the kids' sake I keep my mouth shut.

Pour yourself into your kid. It's really what makes the holidays magical anyway. We grown ups mess things up too much. But it's simple for children.


----------



## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Or perhaps he is lying to you about how broke he is. Mine tries to lie about his finances all the time. I just nod and smile and think "****wad you make twice what I make, but if it hurts that bad, go ask your girlfriend who makes the same salary as you."

I want to say it, but for the kids' sake I keep my mouth shut.

Pour yourself into your kid. It's really what makes the holidays magical anyway. We grown ups mess things up too much. But it's simple for children.


----------



## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

Honorbound - You are correct 53 going on 14. His self esteem is boosted everytime a new woman bats an eyelash. He has a truly charming personality until the surface starts to crack and the real boy appears.

BFGuru - I have thought the same thing about the finances. He has lied about EVERYTHING else so why not about money. However - he also has last pink notices on his house for water and electric, credit card bills not paid and the rental house that we owned is now occupied by him and is behind in mortgage. Of course all this affects my credit which he could care less about. Always lives in the moment.

Besides the cheating - my ex has always had a problem with finances. Other major issue with our marriage I was always the saver and rode his ass not to spend money since I had written checks and he was the type of guy that would spend every last dollar and never think of the bills that would be due next week or any unexpected money needed. The new sugar mama will notice this soon enough.

The Evening turned out to be fun. My spirits were lifted by laughing and eating with my nieces and nephews and enjoying white elephant and boat parade. Feels odd that I love my in laws so much and at the same time feel awkward that I am now the outside member. 

Ex did drop off some presents for child at his moms before his big trip with new sugar mama so she had something to open from him.


----------

