# Cheating WAW brings lover to live with her



## eyesopen (Mar 16, 2012)

It has been quite a long time since I last posted on TAM. That too, in the "going through divorce" section. I guess I have now graduated to "life after divorce" 

I don't want to go in to a long winded story, but turns out, as I later learned, that my wife had become involved with a person about two years prior to S/D. What's more, he is 20 years younger than her... and a "local" of a country we were living in at the time.

I should say that we are co-parenting our kids and have a good working relationship in that regard.

Now, he is coming to live with her (and the kids, when they are with her). On one hand, I am "OK" with this meaning that I have made my peace through a lot of inner work etc. This does not mean I am happy about it, I don't like to have him "in my face" (either literately or figuratively), and would have preferred for her to move on with someone "new". At the same time, I also think/realize that everyone deserves to be happy, herself included, and this is her choice (however misguided I think it is, given the age and cultural difference) and I should be happy for her.

My main concern is how this affects the kids and in that regard I will keep close tabs to see that they are OK. I will raise issues only if/when it affect them.

I suppose I will go through various phases about this, that is natural, but given that I have known that this is in the making for a while I am not surprised.

Anyway, don't really know what the point of this post is, I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest 

Peace to all.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*How old are your kids? And where would they be living in relation to where you live?*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## eyesopen (Mar 16, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> How old are your kids? And where would they be living in relation to where you live?


They are 9 and 6 and their mother lives a few minutes away from my place. As I said, we have a functioning/good co-parenting (our personal history aside). We each have them 50% of the time.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

You don't have any say in it unfortunately. You'll just have to figure out a way to live with it. 

Make sure your children understand, however, that this man is the one who broke up their family. They need to know the truth. Don't let your ex spin it.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

What country are you in and what country is POSOM coming from?


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

What I can tell you is this.. 

The very first time I went to pick up my son from my Ex wife home, this other man came down and gave me my son.. He kissed him goodbye in front of me.. If I wasn't a cop I would have fvcking put him in the hospital right then and there.. 

I called my wife and told her, my son is OUR kid.. NOT his.. If I ever see this again I will forget who I am and what I do for a living.. 

The 2nd time around she brought him down to me but only opened the door slightly as he walked out between the crack of the door.. The other man stood on top on the balcony observing.. He did something stupid yet again and we had words.. 

The 3rd time around I went there with a police escort.. He didn't come out at all this time.. That was the last time I needed to ever get him. She now brings him to me regardless..

So what I can tell you is talk with your Ex wife about this NOW.. Make the RULES NOW.... 

There is nothing wrong with admitting you don't like this.. There is nothing wrong with telling her what you're saying here.. It doesn't make you weaker.. It makes you HONEST...


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

A friend of mine is a Superior Court Judge in our county. For the last 6years or so, if you are divorced with minor children, you cannot co habitate! He says that the occurrence of child abuse from a parents live in, is to high to risk. He has had a case taken to the State Supreme Court and his ruling was upheld. People really complain, and if you have minor children they try to stay out of his court, but I get it completely.


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