# Who has found a good and rewarding second relationship?



## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

I need inspiration that there is hope for the future.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

There is indeed hope. There is also some work involved, and a measure of luck. If you understand the problems of past relationships, and understand yourself, you can make better choices. You do need to reject anyone who isn't a great match, though, and keep looking for a great one.

My first marriage was essentially sexless with little affection, and we turned out to have differing priorities and interests. My second marriage is the kind most wish to have. A highly compatible person, with the same values and many shared interests, same communication style, and we truly care about each other's growth and happiness. We're also very well matched sexually in all ways. After 14 years, we're still very much in love.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Exactly what *Married but Happy* said except we are only 3 years in.

My marriage was quite sexless, passionless, little emotional connection although from the outside we were the perfect couple.
After I ended the marriage I took time out to learn and grow, to take responsibility and to find a place of forgiveness for my ex.

I then felt ready to date and was having a super time and then accidentally met my partner. We are an amazing match. 

The difference this time is that I could recognise who was and wasn't a good match for me. A few guys I was happy with casual dating as I knew they were not LTR material. But Mr H, well he is my Superman and even though there have been challenges due both our past lives, we are a great fit.

We are compatible in all the right ways, we are strong for each other when needed, we have lots of common interests and we are both greatful to have met the other.

There is life after divorce but it is important to do the self work, to take responsibility for your own actions and to move on with a healthy attitude.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

it can happen. after 15+ years with WC

I embarked on another, just a year in

but even those couples Willard Scott show

who were married for 88 years, have to start at 

year one sometime....... hang in there


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Glad someone asked this as l wondered to , worry.
And it has so much to live up to because our first 15yrs was the envy of most. We had bottomless love , passion , fun and we lived our dreams traveling for 10 yrs and living in the most beautiful parts of the country.
Then we had a beautiful girl and a gorgeous little threesome family . But at 14 yrs or so , things started going wrong.

l just don't know how anything could come close to our good though , although ex seems to think it can.
l feel so lucky on one hand though , to have lived what most will only dream but , where to from here or do l even care , no clue.
But l will need some company l guess , l'm missing that now . And l'm hoping if l do start with someone new , she'll be happy to live in sin:smthumbup: . Because l don't think l'd bother marrying again as it's not worth the paper it's written on these days , what's the point.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

It can happen. Once you've lived through so many dysfunctional relationships and you finally get into a healthy one your WHOLE world changes for the better.It makes you appreciate the relationship so much which makes you a better partner


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My first hb was an a$$, now I'm nine years (married three) in with my second hb. We're very happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

There is, Indie - but knowing what you've been through and what you are dealing with and where you are emotionally and professionally I think you really need to not even THINK about men for a couple years. I think you want a distraction. Don't. You HAVE to deal with here and now AND your past. 

Develop some new hobbies. Buy a canvas or a hot glue gun. Go to flea markets or art exhibits. Join a gym or walk down a new street every day. Pick any number of things that can fill your mind and your heart and feed your soul. It's been starving and you're likely to latch on to the wrong type again.

YES, there is hope. There are a LOT of nice guys out there. Your time will come but not yet.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> It can happen. Once you've lived through so many dysfunctional relationships and you finally get into a healthy one your WHOLE world changes for the better.It makes you appreciate the relationship so much which makes you a better partner


And THAT is why I feel my second marriage will last.  I don't think I'll take him for granted and I will work on speaking up and setting boundaries and showing how I feel.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

My first marriage was right out of college and lasted 3 years. We were too young to understand how to resolve conflict. We were too much alike, and we competed with each other rather than cooperate and compromise on issues.

I was absolutely crushed after the divorce as I thought I would be married to this man for the rest of my life. Luckily we did not have children, so that made dating easier. I took a year to consider what went wrong and what I wanted out of life.

When I met my current husband (now married for 36 years), I took it slowly, getting to know him gradually. He was not at all what I had pictured in a good partner for me. We are different in many ways--engineer vs. liberal arts major, East coast vs. Midwest gal, extrovert vs. introvert, and military background vs. civilian upbringing.

But you know, I learned so much from the failure of my first marriage. I was much more humble, more open to compromise, and more grateful that I had a second chance to get it right. 

Don't give up hope; there is someone out there for you, and your experience with despair will make your next marriage even sweeter because you will now know and appreciate what a good relationship is like.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Plenty of people do. 

I think that if you can find just ONE relationship in your life where the love was FOR REAL then you have done good. A lot of people never get to experience it.

I do sometimes wonder if I will get another stab at it again.


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## shattered man (Oct 28, 2012)

there is hope.....I was in a dark dark dark place and thought there was no hope for any kind of future.....well there is.....and im well on my way to finding.it......I switched jobs.....got back into a good cirlce of friends....and focused on my children.....and luckily i found another shot at love......i wasnt looking but it found me......im not 100% there but everyday gets a bit stronger.......stay the course there is light at the end of the HELL tunnel


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## Oldfaithful (Nov 27, 2013)

Yes! It happens all the time. You know what you don't want and what you do want, you know what you won't put up with, you know yourself so much better.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Hell I have a good and rewarding relationship every few months.


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