# grieving loss of family members



## lovesick

March 17 will be the 1 yr anniversary of my nephews passing.He was 22 years old and he died from a suicide.3 Months before he passed my bil shot himself in the heart.I have 2 sisters who are still devastated.On top of this our dad has cancer.The past yr has been rough.I also left my husband for 4 months and have been involved with someone else since.I came back home but now I can't get the other man out of the picture because I am attached.It seems things keep getting worse and worse.How do I move on from this?


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## sisters359

I'm so sorry; you have a lot to grieve. I have no real advice, other than to say, take it one day at a time, do not worry about anyone else's time table, and be kind to yourself. It's not surprising you needed someone to make you feel better about things in the midst of all this, hence the other man. You need the time to grieve losing him, too, and maybe the marriage has to take a back seat to everything else that needs to be done right now. If it is not a source of strength, then it just has to wait--a marriage cannot be repaired when one person is suffering so much; it takes two fully committed people to do that. If you get pressure to "put the marriage first," please take courage in the fact that YOU come before the marriage, b/c only you can and will, ultimately, take care of you. This is a rather stark view, but it's true, and until you are complete and whole again, the marriage cannot be. If your husband cannot manage on his own while you heal from all this pain, then that is his problem. You deserve time. May God send you some comfort soon.


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