# Soon to be Ex in-laws coming to town....should I give details



## pjbap (Feb 19, 2011)

Due to lots of observations, I know my STBExW spews fog associated crap towards her folks about me, circumstances, legal stuff etc. Where she's exaggerating stuff and making me out to be the bad guy. Should I sit w my inlaws and give them the dirt straight up, or just go with the flow. I'm tired of being looked upon as the troublesome spouse and getting cold treatment from my cheating, lying, manipulating, selfish WS.
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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Tell the truth and if you have hard evidence show it. Why let her get away with gas lighting you.
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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Of course you should.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

If they are open to listening and you can back it up. Else you would be.wasting your breathe and letting them see what they would interpret as lies or just pettiness.
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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Depends on context.

If it comes up in conversation or if they're throwing stink-eyed looks at you, then you have your answer on how to tell them of their wh0ring daughter.


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## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

Yes-stand up for yourself and tell them your side. Then let it go and don't worry what they think.


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## pjbap (Feb 19, 2011)

The challenge would be for them to actually listen. Blood is always thicker than water regardless of the circumstance.

Maybe I'll find some creative way rather than a face to face conversation.
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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I see no reason not to tell the truth...EVER. However, I will point out to you that very often it is disappointing to talk to the "out-laws" for several reasons: 

They don't want to get involved
They don't care if it's "the truth" or not, blood is thicker than water
They agree their son or daughter "has the right to be happy"
They would rather blame someone other than their own child
Thus I think two things will really help here. One would be telling the truth when it's directly brought up or you're asked. The other would be to continue to live a life that is calm, peaceful, rational and relatively happy. It may take a while, but people will eventually look at you and see basically stable, happy, tranquility and they'll look at her and see basically raging, unhappy, unending drama. From that they can make up their own minds, can't they?


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

There is something powerful -- for you -- in stating the truth even if those you tell immediately dismiss if because of their flawed nature.

Holding it in so nobody confronts crap is kind of toxic.

Let 'em smell the stink in the room and convince themselves it's perfume.


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## pjbap (Feb 19, 2011)

But I have the right to be happy too and that would include people (except my kids) know what has transpired. It is not fair for the 'fog perspective' to be the prevalent one.

The inlaws are visiting to see my daughters dance recital. I don't want contention in the household as I want it to be her special day. If they are given the fog BS that can only create contention. All I want is to get slack which I rightfully deserve.
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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

pjbap said:


> But I have the right to be happy too and that would include people (except my kids) know what has transpired. It is not fair for the 'fog perspective' to be the prevalent one.
> 
> The inlaws are visiting to see my daughters dance recital. I don't want contention in the household as I want it to be her special day. If they are given the fog BS that can only create contention. All I want is to get slack which I rightfully deserve.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

How do you think they see you? My mom was furious with me when I divorced my ex. So much for that blood stuff.
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## HappyMom (May 31, 2011)

What do you seek to gain by talking to her parents? What's your ultimate goal in doing so?


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

In my own experience, telling the In Laws anything won't make a difference. They will believe everything your STBX tells them. Doesn't matter. They will always see their own child as the right one. Your ex will continue to gaslight you to them even after you try to talk to them, and they will believe her every time. 

They are your soon to be ex in laws.. that they think soon won't matter a bit. I wouldn't concern yourself with it.


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