# 1st time swallowing...need mens opinion



## Dino (Aug 21, 2012)

Background:
H & I married 14 yrs, very young/inexperienced when we got married. BJs have always been part of bedroom play, but H has always gently lifted my head before fully finishing (not sure if out of respect thinking I wouldn't want to swallow, or why exactly, always wondered but never asked) & I've always finished by hand or body. Over past year HIS desire DRASTICALLY decreased, while over past 4 yrs or so MINE has steadily INCREASED. I'd like it at least daily (or more), him...he'll give me once a week out of (what I think he feels is) obligation, but only initiates once every few months. 

He has ALWAYS been non-verbal & I've been pressing for him to give me more feedback (good/bad) for years beyond telling me the same generic "you are a good woman" no matter what I do, but have been pushing him even more so recently as I have grown increasingly insecure with my performance as his desire has decreased.

So, today when he was in the mood but was wrong time of the month for me, I excitedly jumped at the chance to please him manually/orally. This time, I was enjoying myself so much that when he was ready to finish, I still wanted to continue so when he tried to pull me up, I just kept going anyway.

QUESTION:
This time, I received LOTS of positive feedback and am not sure if it should be attributed to my pressuring him to give it to me, or if swallowing is SO MUCH better than not, so much so that just that act would instantly make him not just verbal but VERY VERBAL after all this time, especially since I always thought it was him that didn't want me to finish him off with my mouth. 

Any insight would be greatly appreciated, as I LOVE the feedback and want it to continue as I think anyone can continue to evolve & improve, plus, I deeply wish to please him as often & as much as humanly possible.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

It does feel much better (as someone who only recently has a partner that wi do that). And mentally, it's a turn-on too. The fact that you really wanted to do that would be the mental part. Keep practicing, but don't let him off the hook TOO easy when it comes to your pleasure. Make sure you get yours as well!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Keep doing it, you need his "fluid" in you cuz it sets off some chemical in you that keeps you connected..... I don't know the mojo behind it all but either orally or vaginaly he should be planting it in you for your own good. At least thats what i read any way!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Men want to know that their women are truly into them. You demanding to swallow is so much different than him asking you to swallow. It shows that you want him. It shows that you're into him. It's acceptance. It's a very very good feeling. What's the word for the opposite of emasculating? Hmm, not sure.

Oh, and the sensation of swallowing is better than a hand finish by about 10x.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

It's all about acceptance.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

I have had a few different experiences in this regard. 

I really, really like it when a BJ ends with swallowing. Especially when she stays there and (_very gently_!) continues to drain me. There is simply nothing like it for me. It feels very good, and it may have something to do with the notion that you are the focus of someone's undivided attention for a short while, and can just surrender to feeling good. The orgasm itself is technically no different wherever you finish, but the swallowing and continued activity are, to me, pure, intense, bliss.

I must say that I have had an odd past in this regard. The very first time I came in a partner's mouth, I was a bit surprised. I was new to BJs at the time so I came a bit unexpectedly. I was surprised, and , so was my partner, who said ICK and she spat it out. It never happened again with her. I had to learn with each partner if it was OK to let myself finish. 

Before I married, I had a couple of partners who were swallowers, but ended up for 30 years with my ex, who viewed BJs as an unpleasant task. She let me know how little she liked BJs and swallowing, who spat things out and then demanded instant reciprocation. Not that I minded at all, and I would reciprocate. She was an "O" counter, and finishing actually became a chore; unless we each came every single time, she held it against me. Sex dribbled to a halt; for 30 years I learned coming was bad, and had learned to hold off.

Married again, my wife had to work at getting me to finish a BJ in her mouth, as I had 30 years of holding back to overcome. It took me several months to let myself go and enjoy myself without worrying that finishing would end up becoming an issue. 

She swallows and acts as if she savors every drop. Sometimes she finishes herself during the BJ, and her O is unbelievably exciting while she is busy with me. I always offer to reciprocate if she wants, but we have learned to enjoy lovemaking best without making it "goal oriented." We usually focus on one or the other of us finishing, unless we simply can't hold back.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

OhhShiney said:


> She swallows and acts as if she savors every drop.


This is the key in a nutshell.


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## snipey (Aug 16, 2012)

Keep doing it let him know how much you want him, I dont know your whole story as to why he wants it less but you did mention about the swallowing that you always wondered but never asked, Maybe ask him a few questions about your sex life as a whole talking can help lots.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Dino said:


> Background:
> H & I married 14 yrs, very young/inexperienced when we got married. BJs have always been part of bedroom play, but H has always gently lifted my head before fully finishing (not sure if out of respect thinking I wouldn't want to swallow, or why exactly, always wondered but never asked) & I've always finished by hand or body. Over past year HIS desire DRASTICALLY decreased, while over past 4 yrs or so MINE has steadily INCREASED. I'd like it at least daily (or more), him...he'll give me once a week out of (what I think he feels is) obligation, but only initiates once every few months.
> 
> He has ALWAYS been non-verbal & I've been pressing for him to give me more feedback (good/bad) for years beyond telling me the same generic "you are a good woman" no matter what I do, but have been pushing him even more so recently as I have grown increasingly insecure with my performance as his desire has decreased.
> ...


For a lot of guys swallowing is incredible. 

I also think that you were way too passive. If your husband had an idea of what kind of woman he assumed you were (i.e. the kind that doesn't swallow), you should have banished that long ago. The fact that you totally obliterated your husbands assumptions, took the aggressive role and OWNED that sexual act, could have a lot to do with him coming alive and praising the change.

Just like men need to stop assuming what a woman likes, thinks, and feels, the same applies to a man. Some men have NO IDEA what they like, or if they do they might have so much respect for their wife that they can't even see them in certain lights.

Sometimes a man needs a wife to be a hooker, a stripper, and slvt all rolled up in one. Sometimes a man will NEVER see you as a hot, hungry lover unless you SHOW HIM.


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## Dino (Aug 21, 2012)

Thanks for all the input.

So, just maybe to clarify a little more...do you think its because I ignored his push to lift my head that was a little more exciting for him? Making it more obvious that I was enjoying myself? Because I have always enjoyed having him in my mouth, & as far as technique goes, I don't believe I did anything different other than refuse to stop  Plus, I am always telling him to let me know what he wants & how he wants it, only to never get anything. 

To say the least, I was quite shocked by A) that he suddenly was moaning quite loudly with delight, and B) that for at least 45 min afterward he kept saying how good it was & wanted to know what he did to deserve me being so nice to him. Maybe I should've taken the opportunity to clarify what he enjoyed more than other times, but I chose to tell him I'd do that everyday if he wanted not because of anything extraordinary he did to "deserve it". But he is a great guy & I love & appreciate him for everything.

I just have this incredibly deep desire to really please him because he knows just how to please me, & does it often but believe that's partly due to the feedback I have given him over the years. 

I just know I love what he does for me & want him to have the same happiness. I genuinely hope this maybe opens him up more to giving feedback, but would love maybe some tips on how to draw more of that out of him...Anyone?

I always tell him, I'll try anything once. If I like it, I'll do it again, if not, I may not unless HE really likes it, then I'll consider anyway.


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## Dino (Aug 21, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Sometimes a man needs a wife to be a hooker, a stripper, and slvt all rolled up in one. Sometimes a man will NEVER see you as a hot, hungry lover unless you SHOW HIM.


Thanks for the advice! I THOUGHT I have been showing him that I was WILLING to do a lot of things, but I've been waiting for him to lead me and have only tried instigating a few mild things myself. If I had ANY idea this would have evoked this type of response out of him, I would have done it 15 years ago!!! I guess even though I've been the leader in trying to be more adventurous over the past few years, I've held back worrying that he'd be turned off by me being a bit too slvtty. I'm a bit disappointed we've spent the past dozen years missing out!

I guess he better hold on, SLVTTY STRIPPER WIFE IS IN THE HOUSE!!


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## snipey (Aug 16, 2012)

Firstly Dino you sound like an awesome wife.
Maybe he enjoyed you taking control of the situation and also he may of enjoyed you wanting him and he may of got off on you being a bit naughty. Get him into bed and take control get naughty and talk dirty to him and ask him what turns him on and what he wants you to do to him and how he likes it. If you do it in a naughty way he might open up to you when he sees your dirty side.
good luck anyway. hope you both learn to enjoy each other to the full .


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Dino said:


> do you think its because I ignored his push to lift my head that was a little more exciting for him?


Yes. 

And to the rest of your post, ya, I'm fanning myself a little over here. Would love to hear those words from my wife. Every day you say??


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## Dino (Aug 21, 2012)

snipey said:


> Keep doing it let him know how much you want him, I dont know your whole story as to why he wants it less but you did mention about the swallowing that you always wondered but never asked, Maybe ask him a few questions about your sex life as a whole talking can help lots.


I've posted on the general relationship area of the forum more background. Although he's only mid 30s, I believe his LD is due to some health issues that have gotten significantly worse over the past few years. High blood pressure, high triglycerides, etc. and after some research I think he may also have Low T. On top of all that, he works full time & last spring started going back to school and we have kids, 17, 14, 12; which understandably, contribute to his stress level.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Please people! More threads like this. Less threads about penis size and number of sex partners.

Ok, carry on.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

whats the difference between a 9 and a 10?

a 10 swallows! LOL


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## Dino (Aug 21, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Please people! More threads like this. Less threads about penis size and number of sex partners.
> 
> Ok, carry on.



Lol...maybe you can lead the way by suggesting ideas that I could surprise him with that may be bold enough get this same reaction again...I'd love to blow his mind daily if at all possible


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Ok. Some time ago a poster here (who seems to have decided to take a vacation) suggested to me that I get the "under the bed restraint system". Google it. I was kind of like you and trying to step things up and looking for ideas.

They have them on Amazon. So I ordered it. Then I texted a link of what I ordered to my wife. Got an OMG text back. When it came in I hooked it up under the bed. The cuffs hide between the mattresses. 

The first time I sprung it on her it was amazing. I had also recently bought a Hitachi Magic Wand and I used it on her while she was tied up, and I also had her give me a BJ in a pretty aggressive way while she was tied up.

Now every couple weeks while we're having sex she'll whisper "I want you to tie me". It's incredibly hot and makes me feel very dominant (even though she's the one asking for it).

Well, you wanted an idea....there you go. Have fun.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Words don't mean jack **** to most men. 

Most men have no interest in hearing you talk about what you'll do to please him. Now not all men go to the strip club, but a lot do, and a lot who don't want to. A good stripper doesn't stand there asking what you want her to do to please you. No you sit there, and she does her thing. One of the things men love about strippers is that, typically, they seem so damn in control of the situation. They're doing, and you're getting pleasure from watching them in such a sexually powerful position. They're holding the whole room at their fingertips.

Understand that we men categorize sometimes. Some men see their wives as just that, a "wife", or a "mommie". They might not even be able to see you as a vivacious, exciting lover. A lot of us walk around with very antiquated, dysfunctional ideas of what a wife "should" or "shouldn't" do. A man might walk around BORED out of his skull for years, decades, thinking that all his hottest fantasies will never, and can never, be fulfilled in his marriage.

If your man seems uninterested, and LD, know that sometimes he's just bored an uninterested in sex as it is. But a lot of times he might not even realize that there are options in the marriage to break up that boredom and monotony. 

I really, really wish that women would take the advice around here that's often doled out to men; MAN UP!

Bravo to Dino (and congratulations to her husband) for figuring this out!


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

This is such an intensely erotic experience for a man. Part of the reason for that is simple: Generally speaking, A woman will NOT do this for you unless she is REALLY into you. 



]


Dino said:


> Background:
> H & I married 14 yrs, very young/inexperienced when we got married. BJs have always been part of bedroom play, but H has always gently lifted my head before fully finishing (not sure if out of respect thinking I wouldn't want to swallow, or why exactly, always wondered but never asked) & I've always finished by hand or body. Over past year HIS desire DRASTICALLY decreased, while over past 4 yrs or so MINE has steadily INCREASED. I'd like it at least daily (or more), him...he'll give me once a week out of (what I think he feels is) obligation, but only initiates once every few months.
> 
> He has ALWAYS been non-verbal & I've been pressing for him to give me more feedback (good/bad) for years beyond telling me the same generic "you are a good woman" no matter what I do, but have been pushing him even more so recently as I have grown increasingly insecure with my performance as his desire has decreased.
> ...


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## Dino (Aug 21, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Words don't mean jack **** to most men.
> 
> Most men have no interest in hearing you talk about what you'll do to please him. Now not all men go to the strip club, but a lot do, and a lot who don't want to. A good stripper doesn't stand there asking what you want her to do to please you. No you sit there, and she does her thing. One of the things men love about strippers is that, typically, they seem so damn in control of the situation. They're doing, and you're getting pleasure from watching them in such a sexually powerful position. They're holding the whole room at their fingertips.
> 
> ...



I appreciate the input. I guess a lot of my surprise comes from the fact that I feel that I really put in a lot of effort, but I don't know if its WHAT I'm doing that isn't getting the reaction I'm hoping for/expecting, or the fact that these medical issues are affecting desire to a point that he just HAS NO REACTION. 

For example, last week, after about 3 weeks of only seeing/talking to him in passing due to conflicting schedules, I arranged a date night aimed with a fresh waxing (basically from head to toe), brand new lacy bra & underwear (which was discovered by him while I was getting ready for our date because it was warm in the house so I didn't want to put my dress on before I was ready to walk out the door, which he commented saying he liked the new duds), additionally new lingerie for the after dinner outfit, put in extra effort getting all dressed up in a sexy dress/heels, was even ready for the after party with an erotic film, can of whipped cream and myself planned for dessert. We had a great dinner and were home within 2 hours. I changed into my after dinner wear, which he said he liked, introduced my movie, for which he wasted no time getting naked, then promptly rolled over & fell asleep. SERIOUSLY! He did manage to open his eyes at one point & told me if I was naked, he'd "slip it in" when he woke up (NO JOKE!!). So, I removed my new lingerie, slept bare & woke up at 2 am without him next to me. He was in the office ordering accessories for a truck he just bought & "didn't want to disturb me". Of course I got upset & he felt compelled to try to take care of me despite my anger/hurt/complete lack of desire for him at that second.

He truly is an amazing man, & I deep down I don't think I'm being naive by thinking he is getting his gratification elsewhere, he honestly doesn't have the time. It may be possible that there is a little computer porn, maybe, but I don't think he'd be using that as a total replacement.

My point in this is to ask if where I thought I was putting in extra effort (above) if that effort is misguided and too boring & I just need to step it up even further, or if its just a very sad result of medical/stress issues...

Also, with his drastically diminished desire, is it wrong to be putting in this kind of effort? Will it make him feel bad/guilty about the situation? Am I putting too much undo pressure on him? If so, that's the last thing I want to do. My intent is to spark some desire even if there wasn't any 10 seconds earlier.


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## Dino (Aug 21, 2012)

Dino said:


> I don't think I'm being naive by thinking he is getting his gratification elsewhere, he honestly doesn't have the time.


Oops, I meant to say that I don't think I'm being naive by believing he IS NOT getting his gratification elsewhere.


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## Dino (Aug 21, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok. Some time ago a poster here (who seems to have decided to take a vacation) suggested to me that I get the "under the bed restraint system". Google it. I was kind of like you and trying to step things up and looking for ideas.
> 
> They have them on Amazon. So I ordered it. Then I texted a link of what I ordered to my wife. Got an OMG text back. When it came in I hooked it up under the bed. The cuffs hide between the mattresses.
> 
> ...



I appreciate not only the idea, but the idea of how to deliver it for some sense of feedback first. I'll look it up, and possibly give it a shot. It would be something new & therefore exciting to at least test out.


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## trying_to_rejuvenate (Aug 21, 2012)

Dino your an amazing woman and you have a very good husband !


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Please people! More threads like this. Less threads about penis size and number of sex partners.
> 
> Ok, carry on.


Yeah, other than sometimes making me think "why the hell isn't my wife like that?"


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> *Quotes of Dino*To say the least, I was quite shocked by A) that he suddenly was moaning quite loudly with delight, and B) that for at least 45 min afterward he kept saying how good it was & wanted to know what he did to deserve me being so nice to him.
> 
> 
> Also, with his drastically diminished desire, is it wrong to be putting in this kind of effort? Will it make him feel bad/guilty about the situation? Am I putting too much undo pressure on him? If so, that's the last thing I want to do. My intent is to spark some desire even if there wasn't any 10 seconds earlier.


Will your husband be honest and answer your questions? I do not see how he could not see how much you want to please him so my guess would be that he would answer all your questions. 

He just may not have the same attitude towards sex as you do. He would pull your head up at the moment he was going to climax. He did not respond with sex desire when you put on a great date night with all kinds of aphrodisiacs that would make Viagra seem like salt peter.

This is just a guess. He may feel like swallowing is nasty or degrading to you and wanted to do the right thing by pulling you up. However, when you forced the swallowing, his physical pleasure and maybe his pleasure from seeing you so into him, overpowered his thinking about swallowing. His moaning and talking for so long about it shows a conflict with pulling your head up and sexual ecstasy with swallowing. The attitudes that we get about sex sometimes are contradicted by the pleasures that we get from doing those sex acts.

I also think that your husband maybe affected a little about your strong desires for sex. Some men do not equate a woman’s strong desire and eagerness to have sex with a woman that they love and respect. An example is most men do not like to think about their mother as having a strong desire and eagerness for sex. You know a little like the Madonna/***** dilemma.

Many men in my culture feel that way but I do not think that is the best attitude and especially with a woman like you that wants to please her husband so bad; you are a man’s dream.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is how the missus determines whether I'm eating well or not actually - by the taste. It's a very intimate act and make sure you don't stop pleasuring him until it's ALL out. That's how it's done right.


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## Gorky75 (Aug 22, 2012)

He loved it so that is what he expressed. Likely he has always wanted it but thought it was not the right thing to do. I think you will find an increase in his desire - maybe there are other new things that the two of you can do that will increase his desire even more.


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## Gorky75 (Aug 22, 2012)

I should say also, that it is much better finishing in your partners mouth. The orgasm is stronger as the stimulation continues rather than transitioning to something that is not as good - i.e. your hand.

If you try it again and get the same reaction, you will really have your answer.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

makes it 100x better

that is all i have to say. I should not have to explain why others will have explained why

Just note this

makes it 100x better


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

not sure if this is the right place to post in my little snippet of information, but here goes.
When I was younger, I always 'hid' the fact that I really did not like the taste and just could not swallow even though I really wanted to. So one of the few good things about aging is that my taste buds have diminished and it no longer causes me any angst. 
I also need my coffee stronger.


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## Namdeer (Sep 3, 2013)

Dino said:


> Thanks for all the input.
> 
> So, just maybe to clarify a little more...do you think its because I ignored his push to lift my head that was a little more exciting for him? Making it more obvious that I was enjoying myself? Because I have always enjoyed having him in my mouth, & as far as technique goes, I don't believe I did anything different other than refuse to stop  Plus, I am always telling him to let me know what he wants & how he wants it, only to never get anything.
> 
> ...


You truly are an amazing woman, and reading your love for your husband almost brought tears to my eyes !!


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

kudos to you for being the kind of wife men dream of having.

swallowing isn't just about acceptance, it's about knowing your partner is completely in to you. when you hear that moan as you explode, and they go even wilder, not only do you have the intense euphoria of the physical release, but there is a equally intense emotional component then as well. it heightens the entire experience for us.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Dino said:


> Background:
> H & I married 14 yrs, very young/inexperienced when we got married. BJs have always been part of bedroom play, but H has always gently lifted my head before fully finishing (not sure if out of respect thinking I wouldn't want to swallow, or why exactly, always wondered but never asked) & I've always finished by hand or body. Over past year HIS desire DRASTICALLY decreased, while over past 4 yrs or so MINE has steadily INCREASED. I'd like it at least daily (or more), him...he'll give me once a week out of (what I think he feels is) obligation, but only initiates once every few months.
> 
> He has ALWAYS been non-verbal & I've been pressing for him to give me more feedback (good/bad) for years beyond telling me the same generic "you are a good woman" no matter what I do, but have been pushing him even more so recently as I have grown increasingly insecure with my performance as his desire has decreased.
> ...



If you love to give hubby BJ's and swallow, that's your thing and good for him. 

My wifee always swallows and has done so from day one and I asked her, what can I do to make it more pleasant? She tells me, Almond milk, so I have a lot of Almond milk in the fridge. It works.

I know guys who's gf's just spit it out and its not for them.

Some ladies like to deep throat and some just the tip, all ladies are different.

Swallowing will not give you an ulcer, burn a hole in your stomach, make you sick, the sperm will not be swimming in your tummy, etc., etc, etc. Your stomach acid is hydrochloric and can burn holes in carpets!!! They are dead upon entering the stomach. Now some ladies might feel ill because they don't react well to sperm, then don't swallow or drink something immediately afterwards.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Judging from the OP's chronology, there is hope for all us men out there. Just wait until the 15th year.


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## john 47 (Jul 5, 2013)

Been married for 25+ years and early on we had oral sex at least every other time. My wife did not want cum in her mouth so I respected that and always pulled her back. After 4 kids she gained alot of weight and still gave me bj's but no swallowing. During this time she never let me go down on her because she felt she was too overweight and was unhappy about her body. Fast forward to this past year, she has lost 40 plus pounds and is feeling better about herself and she lets me go down on her again. So we are having sex about a week ago and we start to do a 69 for the first time in pob 15 years and when I start to cum I try and pull away but she keeps going and swallows it all. It was amazing, I have never had that done to me before felt fantastic. I ask her about it after and she said she just wanted to try it and said it was actually pretty hot and she would do it again. I told her how great it felt and hope she does it next time!


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

It's about 1,000,000X better!


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

cent130130 said:


> It's about 1,000,000X better!


I disagree. It's only about 10^350000 times better.


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## Disenchanted (Sep 12, 2012)

Cumming into the mouth of a woman who wants as much of it as she can possibly get down her throat is the best sexual feeling I have ever had.

A woman who does this could literally get anything out of me, in that moment, that she wants.

I think the reason why your hubs was so excited about it is because he could tell you wanted to do it. That makes all of the difference. You even fought for it. 

Expect him to want that again. It's the best.

My STBXWW always did it in the beginning. Then one day she couldn't and ran off to the bathroom to spit it out. I never wanted another BJ from her after that. It was insulting and embarrassing.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Good for you guys ! Now he knows you have no problem with it, and its something you two can enjoy moving forward. Nothing quite like having a woman do that for you.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I hated it, STBX couldn't get enough of it however normally. Though when I was sick or drunk she avoided it due to the bad taste during those times. Yet demanded the favor done back to her during her times of the month, bleh.

I prefered to sprog elsewhere and be able to kiss her, not to kiss her with my own cum still in her mouth. Bleh, but to each their own I guess. I'm sure I'm not the only one...


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

lol.... I've never had a problem kissing someone after they swallowed. I'm just not squeamish that way.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Tasting me in her mouth only makes it hotter. To each their own I guess.


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