# Why did you want to get married?



## Unhappy2011 (Dec 28, 2011)

Simple question.

Just share why, if you care to.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, we were already living like we were married (for a year and had a baby) so we decided it would be a good thing to do just to disprove our own beliefs that marriage is a waste of time and money (our parents had HORRIBLE marriages).

We thought it would give a better solid future for our children.

We thought if we'd ever be apart...and we couldn't imagine it...so we got married.

It was a good decision


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

To make my wife secure and happy.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

Because I loved him, wanted to live with him, have his children, spend my life with him, I couldn't imagine being without him, was happiest when I was with him, and was old fashioned enough to want to be married to him to do all of that. And he felt the same way.


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## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

Cause I love him and really can't see myself with someone else. We were together for 10 years and had one child prior to getting married. We were engaged for a long time, guess we settled into being comfortable and never pushed the setting a date thing and finally it was like hey when are we getting married? (He actually mentioned it and i was like oh yeah guess we should finally plan that huh lol)


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

...because he's the only man that could get me down the aisle. I always wanted just him, to share our life together but never had the daydream of getting married or had religious meaning with it. I just wanted to be with him. End of. We were living together like a married couple, bought property together and all that jazz. Being married became more important to him. He proposed, I said yes without hesitation. I love being Mrs Batman for signalling to the outside world that we're part of the same family. Our wedding was a truly intimate day between the two of us. It was a celebration of our love and the years we'd already walked together.

He knows he's the only man that could entice me into this thing called 'marriage'  I love it but I loved him the same before. The love and being special to each other every day doesn't and hasn't changed.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It's funny because even though Hubs and I loved each other, we took love out of the equation when talking about marriage.

lol. My grandfather would have been proud. "Marriage is a business, T." he'd say. "Marry someone you can tolerate and who tolerates you. Marry someone you can talk to and someone who would make a good partner and husband. Love each other, but don't let that cloud your judgment."

When he passed away, he and my grandma had been married 63 years. Happily married for most of it. But partners all the way.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

that_girl said:


> "Love each other, but don't let that cloud your judgment."


I love this.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> I love this.


And it's so true when you think about it.

Love is not reason enough to get married. Love can ruin a marriage. lol.

Gotta be practical about marriage. I know that takes the wind out of so many people's sails, but Hubs and I never got all mushy with the proposal or anything like that. It wasn't emotional for us to decide to get married...it was a serious conversation that lasted a few days.

Our wedding was emotional though  Best day of my life.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

that_girl said:


> And it's so true when you think about it.
> 
> Love is not reason enough to get married. Love can ruin a marriage. lol.
> 
> ...


I agree with practicalities. 

There's a certain 'illusion' that happens with love. Oh boy, I'm going to start making my head hurt thinking about this so I'll try to keep it brief - if for my own sake haha - but we can of course fall in love with the illusion that has developed through romantic love, through sexual connection etc... and while meeting each others needs and perhaps being romantic and sexual and all of that is important, the practicalities do need to come from a more grounded place if it's going to be a long-lasting relationship.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I was 18, in love, and getting orders(Navy) to Guam.


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## Jbear (Jan 12, 2012)

I was 17 my grandma came up to me and said he loves you... just tell him ok...

After years and then decade of divorce threats and heart ache over him falling out of love for me despite all my trying I decided that the love that is learned over time is better than the young love he felt for it lasts longer and makes you more thankful!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I'mAllIn said:


> Because I loved him, wanted to live with him, have his children, spend my life with him, I couldn't imagine being without him, was happiest when I was with him, and was old fashioned enough to want to be married to him to do all of that. And he felt the same way.


I 2nd every word of this.... I've always known I wanted to get married , find my Prince, I am the hopeless Romantic type, you couldn't beat it out of me. Nothing mattered to me more than that. I even got on my knees & prayed for a good guy to come into my life at age 15, and a few months later we met at the Lunch Table of a new school. 

Loved being with him -he was fast my "best friend" ....but yet as the years rolled, I started to worry about never dating anyone else, didn't want to regret that someday, so at one point, I gave his ring back, broke his heart, dated another, and through this experience, I realized that shy sweet homebuddy boyfriend was who I was missing like crazy, came back to him and I KNEW we were meant to be... we moved in together & immediately planned our big wedding - married 8 months later, one of the happiest days of my life, on par with the births of each of our children. 

Every GOOD & beautiful thing that has ever happened to me has sprung from my marrying my husband.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I never wanted to marry anyone...

But when I had my motorcycle accident just over a year ago, my best friend, (soon to be husband) was the only one who was there for me. I always had a crush on him, but my feelings deepened as he came over almost every day to take care of me, helped me eat and clean the house, look after my dogs and all the nasty bandage changes. He really went above and beyond and we started dating. 41 days later we were married. I feel like I married someone who would be there for me through crisis, and who cared about me and my well-being; whom I loved and was deeply grateful for.

If you ask him, his answer is simple: he wanted to move in and live with me. (I wouldn't allow this until we were married). 

Some days I really wonder what I was thinking, but he's not such a bad guy, and I'm not always an angel... So we stick it out. I sometimes wonder how different things would be if we had lived together before marriage...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Because I was in love and thought he was The One.


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## Noel1987 (Jan 2, 2012)

That is a blessing and the fantastic day of our life we two become one, relationship makes you more strong and creates more love in both. Thats why it is just once in our lifetime... enjoyed this topic buddy :thumbsup:


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Because he asked me to. I'd never been the type of woman that dreamed of her wedding day since age 4. I never really thought I'd ever get married, and I've only been asked the once; I love him; so I said yes.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Sex....


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

one_strange_otter said:


> Sex....


Wow. You can have sex without marriage...


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

that_girl said:


> Wow. You can have sex without marriage...


Really? I wish I'd known that 15 years ago......
I was but a backwoods country bumpkin with no social skills back then... That and the preacher man swore eternal damnation if I didn't wait for marriage and he seemed pretty serious about it....

I'm teasing, but serious at the same time. You already know my story anyway that_girl from my other thread.....


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## Noel1987 (Jan 2, 2012)

yeah but thing is "getting married" a sacred relationship for life even reading people thoughts about their wedding day feel so good  LOVELY


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

one_strange_otter said:


> Really? I wish I'd known that 15 years ago......
> I was but a backwoods country bumpkin with no social skills back then... That and the preacher man swore eternal damnation if I didn't wait for marriage and he seemed pretty serious about it....
> 
> I'm teasing, but serious at the same time. You already know my story anyway that_girl from my other thread.....


Yea. I do.

I guess I never thought of 'sex' as a reason to get married, is all. But understand how you did!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I made my husband wait for intercourse, I looked upon this act as "sacred" .... I felt good we had something new to bring to our wedding night.... it should have been very special but we had some crazy issues with my very rigid "hymen" after our wedding.... even getting pregnant before he fully penetrated me, then he was afraid to hurt me & our baby growing within, so our 1st year was a little touch & go in the sex department...

.... but I don't think I would change any of it. We used to joke that our 1stborn was like an "immaculate conception"....I was 5 months pregnant before I felt he FULLY penetrated me, we went out and celebrated -it was a HUGE deal. Crazy little story of ours. 

I have very little self control in sex these days, it kinda makes me  that I accually had some back in the day, restraining myself.


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