# Yesterday: Wedding anniversary



## Scannerguard

Well, it did hit me the day before - Aug. 13th was my wedding anniversary - 1994.

My friend told me that a proper way to mourn is much like the Mexicans - to have a party/celebration and truly celebrate (not miss) what had happened during our life together. Careful! Don't make it a pity party for you.

I admit it was hard - she was so expressively unhappy throughout the marriage that I could think of times I was happy but then I would think of her and I'd remember how glum and depressed she was.

But I did finally come up with something - a 10 day trip to Disney with our son when he was 4. I remembered that time and smiled and celebrated it. She was happy. I was happy. It was fun. I am totally became a Disney Freakazoid after that so it enriched me that way too.

Lit a candle in rememberance, celebrated it in my mind, and went about my day.

Anyone else follow this tradition of mourning?


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## Scannerguard

Oh, I thought it appropriate to bump this to the top.


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## raising5boyz

Let's see....I have some different views on it I guess....but I like the idea of finding something to celebrate. I have been married and divorced twice. I deal with both anniversaries differently. 

The anniversary with my first husband....we have been divorced seven years....every year one of us remembers and mentions it. It is never a celebration, nor is it an extremely upsetting depressing....it is a solemn conversations though....we often say something about our boys and mention something about each other that we did right in the marriage. Maybe it is because we have been divorced long enough that wounds have mostly healed. It's kind of nice actually. 

With my second husband....we were married almost five years to the day....so the anniversary of the wedding is very close to the anniversary of the divorce....I celebrate! Not the good in the marriage (and there was a lot) but that I got out before anymore time passed. It was an awful divorce with way too much to write about right now....but coming out the other side, I know without a doubt that I am far better off without him than I ever would have been with him!


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## notreadytoquit

My divorce anniversary is coming up next Tuesday the 20th of Sep. My son will be with his dad in the US and I don't know how I am going to handle all this. I am still in a lot of pain. I don't think my pain has subsided one bit since the day I found out about his affair.


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## Lon

The date of my wedding anniversary is in a couple days. I am not going out of my way to do anything to make it some kind of significant day... even though I'm still technically married it's not really an anniversary because an anniversary is a celebration of being together, and we're not anymore. I don't know if it will be particularly emotional, I guess as long as I stay out of the file cabinet where I keep finding old greeting cards I should be ok. I also hope not to get a stray "happy anniversary" from anyone who hasn't realized we're separated, I think there are still some distant family members that don't know (for some reason even though news in my extended families seems to travel fast I am the exception, I guess I keep a very low profile even in my own family).


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## Shooboomafoo

when i was probably around 11 yrs old, I lived in an apartment complex in houston, and back then it wasnt that big of a deal to "go outside and play", in terms of safety and all. I remember walking down the sidewalk and seeing an older woman sitting in front of a little outdoor botchi-grill with a fire going in it. she was tossing old pictures and papers into it, and i asked her what she was doing. She said she was just getting rid of old memories. 
Back then it didnt really mean a whole lot to me as I stared into the flames for awhile and something else caught my attention and i strolled off.
But today I understand.

And I have had my Old Smokey out a time or two, to do the exact same thing.


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