# Men who don't like giving oral



## TheCuriousWife

Men, is there anyone here that doesn't like giving oral?

If so, what are the reasons you don't like it?

Thanks!


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## MrHappy

Pffftttt! I'll believe in Bigfoot before that!

The question is why can't women last longer than my tongue!


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## Amplexor

<<< Crickets >>>


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## CalBanker

I seriously can't think of any reason not to like giving oral. I'm sure their are some men, but I'd be curious to hear their reasons. And in opinion, it would be somewhat selfish to not find a way to enjoy it.


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## TheCuriousWife

This is what I was afraid of. 

You TAM men! 

Come on, surely someone on here doesn't enjoy it. :scratchhead:


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## manticore

Lol

okey, I dislike giving orals if it is the first time we have sex or if they are 100% natural in the lower zone (I mean, if they are not depilated down there).

why, hairs can stuck in your mouth (which is a big turn off) and smell, I have found that women who are not waxed down there, tend sometimes to have pee smell in their hairs (also a big turn off), I guess it can not be helped unless they take a shower before sex.

In the other hand with a proper waxed girl, I love to see their reaction while doing it (or hear it), but just before penetration, once that sex has begun I don't go down again.


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## TheCuriousWife

manticore said:


> Lol
> 
> okey, I dislike giving orals if it is the first time we have sex or if they are 100% natural in the lower zone (I mean, if they are not depilated down there).
> 
> why, hairs can stuck in your mouth (which is a big turn off) and smell, I have found that women who are not waxed down there, tend sometimes to have pee smell in their hairs (also a big turn off), I guess it can not be helped unless they take a shower before sex.
> 
> In the other hand with a proper waxed girl, I love to see their reaction while doing it (or hear it), but just before penetration, once that sex has begun I don't go down again.


Thank you for your honesty!

Now, what is the girl was clean shaven around the important bits, but left a little fuzz on the top that was trimmed short?

Or do you only enjoy it when she is waxed?


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## C3156

manticore said:


> why, hairs can stuck in your mouth (which is a big turn off) and smell, I have found that women who are not waxed down there, tend sometimes to have pee smell in their hairs (also a big turn off), I guess it can not be helped unless they take a shower before sex.


I love giving oral, but will avoid it for just these reasons. The pee smell is particulary un-sexy.


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## IndyTMI

manticore said:


> Lol
> 
> okey, I dislike giving orals if it is the first time we have sex or if they are 100% natural in the lower zone (I mean, if they are not depilated down there).
> 
> why, hairs can stuck in your mouth (which is a big turn off) and smell, I have found that women who are not waxed down there, tend sometimes to have pee smell in their hairs (also a big turn off), I guess it can not be helped unless they take a shower before sex.
> 
> In the other hand with a proper waxed girl, I love to see their reaction while doing it (or hear it), but just before penetration, *once that sex has begun I don't go down again*.


Awe, come on...I'm not sure about you, but my SO kisses me after I have provided oral and I certainly kiss her after she provides as well.
I have also been known to go back down on her after I have banged away...and she will also give me a second round or oral. I don't see anything wrong here, as long as we are both clean before we start, it's just body fluids we are swapping and I'm not afraid of my own...
If you can't take your own, how can you expect your SO to take it?


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## TheCuriousWife

I will kiss him after he goes down on me. Although if it's rubbed all up his face I'd prefer him to wipe it off a little. I don't mind the taste but I'd rather not have a wet face. lol.

I don't give oral on him if we've already done PIV. Not for my taste, but because we use lube, and I don't care for it's taste, or the thought of eating it.

I'd like to get some cocoanut oil and try that. It's natural so I wouldn't mind a little after munchies.

Husband didn't like to kiss me after oral for him. I've gotten him over it slowly, but he stills waits a few minutes, and would rather not.


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## VermisciousKnid

manticore said:


> Lol
> 
> okey, I dislike giving orals if it is the first time we have sex or if they are 100% natural in the lower zone (I mean, if they are not depilated down there).
> .


LOL. I misread that as *dilapidated* down there.


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## TheCuriousWife

VermisciousKnid said:


> LOL. I misread that as *dilapidated* down there.


Me too! I had to read it 3 times before I got it! :lol:


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## ScarletBegonias

started gagging at "pee smell". If eating vagin was my thing I wouldn't stand for that mess.Shower or forget about experiencing my skillz,girlfriend.


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## TheCuriousWife

ScarletBegonias said:


> started gagging at "pee smell". If eating vagin was my thing I wouldn't stand for that mess.Shower or forget about experiencing my skillz,girlfriend.


:iagree:


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## ScarletBegonias

I mean,seriously,think about it.Would any woman in her right mind continue giving the beej to a man with funky balls or a funky shaft?? no.she'd tell him straight up...OR she'd be passive aggressive/avoiding it til he got the hint.

So why should a man put up with that level of funk?


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## manticore

TheCuriousWife said:


> Thank you for your honesty!
> 
> Now, what is the girl was clean shaven around the important bits, but left a little fuzz on the top that was trimmed short?
> 
> Or do you only enjoy it when she is waxed?


trimmed short is good enough, I do the same to myself, it not just looks better is more hygenic for boths genders


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## manticore

ScarletBegonias said:


> started gagging at "pee smell". If eating vagin was my thing I wouldn't stand for that mess.Shower or forget about experiencing my skillz,girlfriend.


unfotunatly not all men are as open as I am about this subject, and not all women take this kind of remarks as good as you may think.

I had a friend with the full bush problem with pee smell, and in their 6 year relationship he never was confident enough to be honest with her about the issue, when I asked him why he was not honest with her about it, he just told me that I didn't know her girlfriend as he did, that he just can't do it (no further explanations), and he keep complaining during all the relationship.


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## IndyTMI

manticore said:


> trimmed short is good enough, I do the same to myself, it not just looks better is more hygenic for boths genders



You know...I never thought about getting trimmed for a hygienic reason, as I figure if you keep yourself clean, you are clean regardless of the amount of hair, but if it appealed to my SO, I'd certainly trim up or let her trim me up to her liking.


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## ScarletBegonias

manticore said:


> unfotunatly not all men are as open as I am about this subject, and not all women take this kind of remarks as good as you may think.
> 
> I had a friend with the full bush problem with pee smell, and in their 6 year relationship he never was confident enough to be honest with her about the issue, when I asked him why he was not honest with her about it, he just told me that I didn't know her girlfriend as he did, that he just can't do it (no further explanations), and he keep complaining during all the relationship.


Her reaction to a issue like that is not his problem.If it was something she couldn't fix then I can see how she'd react poorly and he might feel bad.But this is a fixable issue and the woman needs to be mature enough to handle hearing her man's concerns.


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## TheCuriousWife

:iagree:

I would rather my man be honest with me with something like that.

My feelings would get hurt, but at least you could work to improve.

That said, I shower before every sexual encounter. Not just for his benefit, but for my peace of mind.


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## CalBanker

Never been down on full bush, so can't comment on that. Wife has always been clean shavin or trimmed. And she has no problem kissing me after I've been downtown and I'm the same way. She actually doesn't mind doing oral after PIV and I'm the same, it gets to be more about the heat of the moment and tearin up the sheets that it doesn't even cross my mind.


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## BradWesley

VermisciousKnid said:


> LOL. I misread that as *dilapidated* down there.


As with most things, the next logical step is "condemned"!


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## manticore

ScarletBegonias said:


> Her reaction to a issue like that is not his problem.If it was something she couldn't fix then I can see how she'd react poorly and he might feel bad.But this is a fixable issue and the woman needs to be mature enough to handle hearing her man's concerns.


I agree with you, you don't know how many times we discussed about it, but even if I know how should it be, it does not mean that I don't understand why other people see thing differents, my friend was the "nice guy" that the book tell you, you don't have to be.

he was above average in looks, he has a good income, he have no problem getting girls, he is not pushover with other guys if they want to trample him, but in his realtionship with women he has always been the pushover the kind of guy who does not want to tell them nothing that can anger them.

He had another girl who had weight problems, she keep eating and eating a gaining weight, he told me how she was getting fatter and how he was losing his sexual desire for her, and what piss me the most is that when she said to him "oooh no you are going to hate me or break with me for my weight" his answer was "no you are beautiful I don't care about your weight". WTF then how you expect she to change her behaviour.


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## manticore

My first LTR was at 28 so when I used to give him advices about his girfriends, he just told me, no you don't know how women in long LTR are, you just break with them, but with GFs you can't tell them this or that.


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## VermisciousKnid

BradWesley said:


> As with most things, the next logical step is "condemned"!


Followed by "demolished for posing a threat to the neighborhood!"


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## LostViking

As long as my sex partner's V is clean and infection free, I actually enjoy orally getting a woman off more than I enjoy intercourse. 

I can control my mouth and tongue better than I can my penis. :rofl: No stamina issues or premature orgasm problems! 

And it is satisfying to look up and watch a woman's face as the pleasure waves are going through her. You can change and alter your approach just by looking at her expressions and seeing what makes her feel good and what doesn't. It is alot more fun than just intercourse.


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## TheCuriousWife

Your not helping guys. 

I wish my husband would give me some great oral.

I'm trying to figure out why a man WOULDN'T like it.

So far I have no answers besides cleanliness, which isn't my problem. 

Keep em com'n. (pun intended)


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## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> Your not helping guys.
> 
> I wish my husband would give me some great oral.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out why a man WOULDN'T like it.
> 
> So far I have no answers besides cleanliness, which isn't my problem.
> 
> Keep em com'n. (pun intended)


Is it bad oral, or no oral at all? 

If their is oral there, do you compliment him or help to guide him?


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## manticore

have you asked him directly why he did no do it if it send you to the sky?

have you negotiated with him about it? (if you give me oral I will let you.....)


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## PBear

TheCuriousWife said:


> Your not helping guys.
> 
> I wish my husband would give me some great oral.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out why a man WOULDN'T like it.
> 
> So far I have no answers besides cleanliness, which isn't my problem.
> 
> Keep em com'n. (pun intended)


Is your husband a selfish lover in general? Does he have confidence in his ability to get you off orally? Have you asked him why he doesn't like it?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> Is it bad oral, or no oral at all?
> 
> If their is oral there, do you compliment him or help to guide him?


No oral, well very very rare, very short oral. Maybe for 2 minutes every few months, if I ask.

I do compliment.


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## TheCuriousWife

PBear said:


> Is your husband a selfish lover in general? Does he have confidence in his ability to get you off orally? Have you asked him why he doesn't like it?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes he is a selfish lover.

He has never even tried to get me off orally.

I have asked him, and he says, "I do like it."

Which of course is why he has only done it a handful of times for 2 minutes over our relationship.


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## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> No oral, well very very rare, very short oral. Maybe for 2 minutes every few months, if I ask.
> 
> I do compliment.


Nothing to compliment on in 2 minutes. 

That is too bad......for me it is just so exciting to be able to bring my wife to that much pleasure. Honestly for me, that is my bragging rights, I can pump my chest out and think to myself, I just gave my wife a mind blowing orgasm. And their is no hiding it with her....screamer....she pulls the pillow over her head all the time. Unless we are kidless for the night.


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## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> Yes he is a selfish lover.
> 
> He has never even tried to get me off orally.
> 
> I have asked him, and he says, "I do like it."
> 
> Which of course is why he has only done it a handful of times for 2 minutes over our relationship.


I see no reason at all that you should be giving him any oral at all if he is going to be that selfish.


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## BradWesley

TheCuriousWife said:


> Yes he is a selfish lover.
> 
> He has never even tried to get me off orally.
> 
> I have asked him, and he says, "I do like it."
> 
> Which of course is why he has only done it a handful of times for 2 minutes over our relationship.


Your husband sounds like my XW. I could rock her world orally, but I would get what I called drive-by BJ's.

She had a real mental hang-up with giving oral


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## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> Nothing to compliment on in 2 minutes.
> 
> That is too bad......for me it is just so exciting to be able to bring my wife to that much pleasure. Honestly for me, that is my bragging rights, I can pump my chest out and think to myself, I just gave my wife a mind blowing orgasm. And their is no hiding it with her....screamer....she pulls the pillow over her head all the time. Unless we are kidless for the night.


I'm not a screamer. I do moan, but honestly it's more for him. I've never had a mind blowing, scream worthy O I guess. Because if it was up to me I'd just be silent, I don't make a peep when I MB. 

Honestly it's an effort to be vocal. 

I've always wondered if oral orgasms are better, and I fantasize of a time when it's so strong and powerful I can't help but scream.

And I agree, it barely starts even feeling good within 2 minutes, so by the time he is getting anywhere it's over.


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## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> I see no reason at all that you should be giving him any oral at all if he is going to be that selfish.


I LOVE giving him oral. He used to get it several times a week.

Here recently I realized just how selfish that is of him, so he hasn't had oral to completion in over a month. He has gotten oral as foreplay a couple times, but that's more for me since I love giving it. It's hard to cut it out cold turkey.


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## PBear

TheCuriousWife said:


> Yes he is a selfish lover.
> 
> He has never even tried to get me off orally.


And there's your problem. He doesn't care about your pleasure. 

For me, giving my SO oral is foreplay FOR ME. She still comments, almost three years later, how thrilled she was when the first time we had sex, I came up for air from between her legs, and let's just say my enjoyment of the situation was obvious. This was a marked contrast to her ex, who was apparently much more like your husband. 

Sorry, can't help you much. If someone only cares about their own pleasure, you're going to have difficulties changing their mind, IMHO. It's not that you need to do anything different. It's just the way it is. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheCuriousWife

I realize that.

I'm just wondering what reasons a man would have for not wanting to do it.


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## PBear

TheCuriousWife said:


> I realize that.
> 
> I'm just wondering what reasons a man would have for not wanting to do it.


I think you're over complicating things. He doesn't get any pleasure from it because he doesn't care about your pleasure. He just wants to get HIS pleasure. And he gets that from PIV or oral from you. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheCuriousWife

PBear said:


> I think you're over complicating things. He doesn't get any pleasure from it because he doesn't care about your pleasure. He just wants to get HIS pleasure. And he gets that from PIV or oral from you.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


True. But he does make an effort to pleasure me most of the time. Just not orally. If it's as great as most of the TAM men make it sound, I don't understand why he wouldn't rather do that, than use his hands. :scratchhead:


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## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I'm not a screamer. I do moan, but honestly it's more for him. I've never had a mind blowing, scream worthy O I guess. Because if it was up to me I'd just be silent, I don't make a peep when I MB.
> 
> Honestly it's an effort to be vocal.
> 
> I've always wondered if oral orgasms are better, and I fantasize of a time when it's so strong and powerful I can't help but scream.
> 
> And I agree, it barely starts even feeling good within 2 minutes, so by the time he is getting anywhere it's over.


By no means do you have to be vocal.....that is just my wife. But I think if you had a really really good oral orgasm, you'd probably have a hard time being quiet.


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## TheCuriousWife

That's my fantasy. Lucky woman.


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## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I LOVE giving him oral. He used to get it several times a week.
> 
> Here recently I realized just how selfish that is of him, so he hasn't had oral to completion in over a month. He has gotten oral as foreplay a couple times, but that's more for me since I love giving it. It's hard to cut it out cold turkey.


But see with a selfish lover, if he is going to get his oral, what is going to change his attitude toward your pleasure?

I'm sorry, I'm not going to be a lot of help though, because I seriously can get off just by giving my wife oral. She basically has to tell me to get the heck out of there and get up here and give me some PIV now, otherwise I'd just stay there all night!


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## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> True. But he does make an effort to pleasure me most of the time. Just not orally. If it's as great as most of the TAM men make it sound, I don't understand why he wouldn't rather do that, than use his hands. :scratchhead:


Yeah, I'm not a fan of using my fingers on the wife. I don't get to taste her pleasure then.....just not the same. Plus, she doesn't get as much pleasure. We might do a little clit stimulation with my fingers while doing PIV, but otherwise, get your head down on in there and give her what she needs! Blow her mind away!


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## ReformedHubby

I don't know how true this is but I have a Jamaican friend that swears up and down that most Jamaican men won't do it. Perhaps its cultural too?


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## IndyTMI

ReformedHubby said:


> I don't know how true this is but I have a Jamaican friend that swears up and down that most Jamaican men won't do it. Perhaps its cultural too?


My last girlfriend was Jamaican and she certainly loved giving and receiving.


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## Thunder7

LOVE IT! It might actually be my favorite pastime.


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## mrsball

It took my H 4 years to let me go down on him, no return action so far. He says a mix of shyness, self consciousness, etc. I swear he almost tried once, but chickened out. We just keep talking about it, I'm not giving up! =]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk

Ashamedly , l only like it when she's young. The vagina changes so much as she gets older and then the body does to, skin, everything.
But l've heard plenty of guys over the years actually prefer them with age, like wine :rofl: , so to anything can happen.


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## chillymorn

reminds me of a joke.

do you know why eating Pu$$y is like being in the mob?........because one slip of the tongue and your in deep $hit!


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## BradWesley

"Fellatio without Cunnilingus is Tyranny"


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## omega

my H isn't really a big fan of giving oral. this works out really well since I don't like receiving it, so we do it ...um, never. as for why he doesn't like it - I don't think there's a specific reason, it's just on his list of things he loves?


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## Anon Pink

BradWesley said:


> "Fellatio without Cunnilingus is Tyranny"


I've read a couple of your post Curious Wife and they all have to do with your husband with holding love and you wanting love.

I haven't seen a post where you reveal your age or how long you've been married, so I don't know if you are trying to make a new marriage work or are trying to get an older marriage back on track. But one thing is certain... 

Your husband is a selfish SOB and you are trying to turn a turd into gold. It's not ever gonna happen with this man.

So the question I have for you...

What makes you love a man who clearly doesn't, can't, or won't love you? What has caused you to develop such a deeply skewed view of your relative value that being so gaga over a man so aloof, does not make you pause and wonder what the hell you are doing in this relationship?

Stop for a moment and consider the kind of love you want to feel coming from the man you love. Are you getting that from him? Do you think if you do something different, try doing more, try expecting less, you will get the love from him you want? Never mind don't answer, it's a trick question because the only answer is no. No you are not getting his love. No, if you do things different nothing will change. No, it's not you.

It's HIM!!!!

Why do you love a man incapable of loving you?


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## WyshIknew

Well I don't know if this is bad of me or whatever but I rather like it when she is a bit 'musky' down there.


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## Jellybeans

CuriousWife: you say you are trying to understand why your husband won't go down on you.

The only person who can answer that is him. So you need to ask him directly and tell him you want to incorporate it more into your sex life. 

If he was like this before you got married, then it was kind of already set in stone. 

I think some people in general are just not very into oral (either gender).


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## WyshIknew

It might just not be his 'thing'.

I love doing it to my wife. She doesn't really like to give BJ's.

She'll do it to get me going but she really really likes PIV.

All sexual activity to her leads up to PIV sex. She never lets me complete cunnilingus, she gets so randy she jumps on me.


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## CalBanker

WyshIknew said:


> It might just not be his 'thing'.
> 
> I love doing it to my wife. She doesn't really like to give BJ's.
> 
> She'll do it to get me going but she really really likes PIV.
> 
> All sexual activity to her leads up to PIV sex. She never lets me complete cunnilingus, she gets so randy she jumps on me.


I have a hard time grasping that a man wouldn't like it or have it be his "thing". But to each their own I guess.


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## TheCuriousWife

Anon Pink said:


> It's HIM!!!!
> 
> Why do you love a man incapable of loving you?


It's too long to get into in this thread. But he means so much more to me than our sex life. He is great in everything else. And we've been sweet hearts since we were kids. Despite him being a selfish turd in bed sometimes, he is good to me in everything else. 

And honestly he isn't always selfish. Such as last night, I had quite a delightful time. :smthumbup: I don't think he is trying to be selfish, he just isn't as sexual as me, which does frustrate me, but not enough to end our decade long relationship. 

He does show he loves me, just not so much in sexual ways. His love language is different then mine. 

I come here to vent about it, get support, and look for new things to try. Although I frequently talk about what is wrong in our sexual relationship, there are a lot of things that are great in all other aspects of life.

Thank you for your concern.


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## TheCuriousWife

Jellybeans said:


> CuriousWife: you say you are trying to understand why your husband won't go down on you.
> 
> The only person who can answer that is him. So you need to ask him directly and tell him you want to incorporate it more into your sex life.
> 
> If he was like this before you got married, then it was kind of already set in stone.
> 
> I think some people in general are just not very into oral (either gender).


I've asked him over and over and over. He just tells me he does like it, no matter how much I push.


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## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I've asked him over and over and over. He just tells me he does like it, no matter how much I push.


Sounds like that may be what you have to learn to deal with them. No oral or no good oral for you.

My only thing would be I think you have to let his requests for oral go unheard for awhile though if he is going to be selfish and think he deserves it, but not willing to reciprocate, that kinda bs in my book.


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## TheCuriousWife

As a side note, he asked me to give him oral tomorrow. I said I didn't really want to.

Then he complained about how I haven't been giving him any recently (to completion, he stills gets it as foreplay) and I reminded him I don't get any either, and that I would like some too.

Instead of taking the hint, he just said that I get rubbed for 45 minutes sometimes, and that is my equivalent. His blow jobs are his reward for doing a good job. :scratchhead:

Crazy man. I don't know how to get him to start doing it. Oh course I don't want to make him if he is going to hate it, but I'm hoping if he tried it a couple times and got good at it he'd enjoy it.

I wish you TAM guys would rub off on him.


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## WorkingOnMe

For me the difference between liking it and craving/loving it depends on her being completely hairless. That little fuzz at the top? Turnoff.


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## southern wife

TheCuriousWife said:


> I realize that.
> 
> I'm just wondering what reasons a man would have for not wanting to do it.


From what I'm gathering here, MOST men do like it. Just those selfish lovers won't give it. Unfortunately, you're married to one.


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## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> As a side note, he asked me to give him oral tomorrow. I said I didn't really want to.
> 
> Then he complained about how I haven't been giving him any recently (to completion, he stills gets it as foreplay) and I reminded him I don't get any either, and that I would like some too.
> 
> Instead of taking the hint, he just said that I get rubbed for 45 minutes sometimes, and that is my equivalent. His blow jobs are his reward for doing a good job. :scratchhead:
> 
> Crazy man. I don't know how to get him to start doing it. Oh course I don't want to make him if he is going to hate it, but I'm hoping if he tried it a couple times and got good at it he'd enjoy it.
> 
> I wish you TAM guys would rub off on him.


What about a toy? would he enjoy using a toy on your want watching? I guess I should ask first, would you like a toy?


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## southern wife

TheCuriousWife said:


> I don't know how to get him to start doing it.


Bacon! All men love bacon! 



On a serious note, stick to your guns about NOT giving it to him. I wouldn't even do it for foreplay.


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## CalBanker

southern wife said:


> Bacon! All men love bacon!
> 
> 
> 
> On a serious note, stick to your guns about NOT giving it to him. I wouldn't even do it for foreplay.


Yeah, if a BJ is so important to him, then he needs to make his wife's needs important too.


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## IndyTMI

I would stand my ground if I were you...no BJ's if he's not going to kiss your kitty.

He really needs to speak your love language, as you need to speak his.
If you give in to his way, you will forever be unsatisfied.
I believe if you stand firm, he'll eventually come around.
His explanation of rubbing you for 45 minutes as being an equivalent, you can turn that on him and say that is what you'll provide for him then, so it will be exactly the same for both sides.
What's fair is fair for both.


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## TheCuriousWife

WorkingOnMe said:


> For me the difference between liking it and craving/loving it depends on her being completely hairless. That little fuzz at the top? Turnoff.


Well poo. Hairless for me means never ending razor burns and bumps. Which I think is way ickier than a little bit of hair. 

Although if he told me today that he'd give me oral if I shaved it all off, I'd do it in a heart beat. But I honestly doubt it would have any affect.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> Well poo. Hairless for me means never ending razor burns and bumps. Which I think is way ickier than a little bit of hair.
> 
> Although if he told me today that he'd give me oral if I shaved it all off, I'd do it in a heart beat. But I honestly doubt it would have any affect.


Have you ever asked if that is a problem? If some possible trimming might help?


----------



## larry.gray

TheCuriousWife said:


> Thank you for your honesty!
> 
> Now, what is the girl was clean shaven around the important bits, but left a little fuzz on the top that was trimmed short?
> 
> Or do you only enjoy it when she is waxed?


Trimmed short is awesome. The problem with shaved or waxed is that it is followed by stubble shortly after unless she is very rigorous at daily maintenance. Stubble is abrasive to my sensitive bits.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

IndyTMI said:


> I would stand my ground if I were you...no BJ's if he's not going to kiss your kitty.
> 
> He really needs to speak your love language, as you need to speak his.
> If you give in to his way, you will forever be unsatisfied.
> I believe if you stand firm, he'll eventually come around.
> His explanation of rubbing you for 45 minutes as being an equivalent, you can turn that on him and say that is what you'll provide for him then, so it will be exactly the same for both sides.
> What's fair is fair for both.


I agree.

But then he goes and changes my mind.  

He does have to spend a good 20-30 minutes rubbing me sometimes. But then again I'm touching him at the same time, or we are doing PIV so it's not like he is just sitting there waiting. 

I go back and forth daily on if I should continue holding out. I haven't given in yet. But some days I wonder if it's worth it, or if I'm just being a turd.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> Have you ever asked if that is a problem? If some possible trimming might help?


It is mostly shaved, with just a little on top trimmed short. I've asked him several times, and always he just says he doesn't care either way, and that is just whatever I feel comfortable with.

I've been shaved cleaned for an extended period of time with him and it didn't seem to make any difference.

Before I was married I had it clean shaven for several years. But I let some grow out after marriage because it was being irritated with all the abrasion down there.


----------



## larry.gray

ScarletBegonias said:


> I mean,seriously,think about it.Would any woman in her right mind continue giving the beej to a man with funky balls or a funky shaft?? no.she'd tell him straight up...OR she'd be passive aggressive/avoiding it til he got the hint.
> 
> So why should a man put up with that level of funk?


If she has long pubic hair, even after showing there tends to be a bit of the smell of pee.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

larry.gray said:


> Trimmed short is awesome. The problem with shaved or waxed is that it is followed by stubble shortly after unless she is very rigorous at daily maintenance. Stubble is abrasive to my sensitive bits.


I agree. I shaved every day my entire body. But there was still little stubble, and if no stubble then razor bumps. I prefer now to shave every other day, in between sex. It lets it recover and prevents any bumps or burn.


----------



## Jellybeans

TheCuriousWife said:


> As a side note, he asked me to give him oral tomorrow. I said I didn't really want to.
> 
> Then he complained about how I haven't been giving him any recently (to completion, he stills gets it as foreplay) and I reminded him I don't get any either, and that I would like some too.
> 
> Instead of taking the hint, he just said that I get rubbed for 45 minutes sometimes, and that is my equivalent. His blow jobs are his reward for doing a good job. :scratchhead:
> 
> Crazy man. I don't know how to get him to start doing it.


You should have told im "I'll do you and you can do me" and winked at him.

I don't understand why it's so difficult for you to tell your HUSBAND that you want him to eat you out. :scratchhead:


----------



## larry.gray

TheCuriousWife said:


> I go back and forth daily on if I should continue holding out. I haven't given in yet. But some days I wonder if it's worth it, or if I'm just being a turd.



Nope, you're not. You're more than willing to make him happy that way. It's not selfish to want the same thing.

I'm of little help other than to say he's selfish. I LOVE doing it. Totally LOVE it so I'm the wrong guy to give any other advice.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I agree.
> 
> But then he goes and changes my mind.
> 
> He does have to spend a good 20-30 minutes rubbing me sometimes. But then again I'm touching him at the same time, or we are doing PIV so it's not like he is just sitting there waiting.
> 
> I go back and forth daily on if I should continue holding out. I haven't given in yet. But some days I wonder if it's worth it, or if I'm just being a turd.


You are not being a turd at all.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Jellybeans said:


> You should have told im "I'll do you and you can do me" and winked at him.
> 
> I don't understand why it's so difficult for you to tell your HUSBAND that you want him to eat you out. :scratchhead:


I DID tell him. Almost exactly as you suggested. 

He just pretty much ignored it and turned the subject to how much rubbing and work he does for me, and how he deserves a reward.


----------



## larry.gray

OK, perhaps there is one suggestion: Does he worry he doesn't know what he's doing? You said it was only two minutes, perhaps he just doesn't know how? I'd suggest talking it over with him.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I DID tell him. Almost exactly as you suggested.
> 
> He just pretty much ignored it and turned the subject to how much rubbing and work he does for me, and how he deserves a reward.


Alright, as his reward, hand him the lotion and guide his own hand to his unit and say, go ahead, reward yourself.


----------



## larry.gray

TheCuriousWife said:


> I DID tell him. Almost exactly as you suggested.
> 
> He just pretty much ignored it and turned the subject to how much rubbing and work he does for me, and how he deserves a reward.


Well rubbing you to an orgasm deserves a handjob in return....


----------



## TheCuriousWife

It seems unequal for him to put in 30 minutes to get me to orgasm, and I can get him off in 2 minutes. So I can see his side.

But then again, getting me off is fun for both of us... I thought... or at least it should be. 

When I think about it, I'm rational and I see how unfair he's being. But he is very convincing and when I'm with him I always get confused again.


----------



## CalBanker

larry.gray said:


> OK, perhaps there is one suggestion: Does he worry he doesn't know what he's doing? You said it was only two minutes, perhaps he just doesn't know how? I'd suggest talking it over with him.


Yeah, after reading what larry says, maybe he doesn't know what he is doing.

Also, when you ask him why he won't do that for you, don't accept the answer of "I don't like it" tell him that you want more detail, what does he not like about it, is there a way that you can change his attitude toward it. Let him know that it is very important to you.


----------



## larry.gray

CalBanker said:


> Alright, as his reward, hand him the lotion and guide his own hand to his unit and say, go ahead, reward yourself.


:iagree:

OK, I was feeling slightly more generous.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> It seems unequal for him to put in 30 minutes to get me to orgasm, and I can get him off in 2 minutes. So I can see his side.
> 
> But then again, getting me off is fun for both of us... I thought... or at least it should be.
> 
> When I think about it, I'm rational and I see how unfair he's being. But he is very convincing and when I'm with him I always get confused again.


who the heck cares about the amount of time.....the wife knows, I will stay down there for as long as needed. Is she can bring me that much pleasure, the least I can do is give some back.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

larry.gray said:


> OK, perhaps there is one suggestion: Does he worry he doesn't know what he's doing? You said it was only two minutes, perhaps he just doesn't know how? I'd suggest talking it over with him.


He tries to avoid the subject. I've brought it up in the past. I even bought him, "She comes first." So he can learn exactly what to do. I read the entire thing and I got really excited, and that only fueled my desire for it.

I've seem him quickly skim through it a few times. I've never seen him actually read a page.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> Yeah, after reading what larry says, maybe he doesn't know what he is doing.
> 
> Also, when you ask him why he won't do that for you, don't accept the answer of "I don't like it" tell him that you want more detail, what does he not like about it, is there a way that you can change his attitude toward it. Let him know that it is very important to you.


That's the problem! He says he DOES like it. :scratchhead:


----------



## IndyTMI

larry.gray said:


> OK, perhaps there is one suggestion: Does he worry he doesn't know what he's doing? You said it was only two minutes, perhaps he just doesn't know how? I'd suggest talking it over with him.


Yes...be his co-pilot. Guide him while he is down there. Tell him what you like...what feels good.
Hell, I'm sure you could even find a good instructional video on one of the free porn sites that can help him with this. Lack of knowing what to do is no excuse, as you know what it is that you want...use his hand and show him with your tongue what it is you want.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> who the heck cares about the amount of time.....the wife knows, I will stay down there for as long as needed. Is she can bring me that much pleasure, the least I can do is give some back.



I agree. I could have sex for hours.

Unfortunately I don't think he has the same view. If I take longer than 15 minutes or so the "extra" effort like kissing stops and he just lays beside me with his eyes closed while he continues rubbing. He's fallen asleep on me more than one time. So while he doesn't vocally tell me to hurry up, and if I ask him if he wants to stop he will say no. His body language is very bored, and it's pretty ahem clear that he isn't aroused anymore.

So of course I start feeling pressured and I try to hurry up, but then I can't relax, so it just takes longer.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> That's the problem! He says he DOES like it. :scratchhead:


That sounds like a big fat lie. As their is no way I would come out of there after two minutes. I got more pleasure to bring honey and I'm not coming out of there until I can taste that pleasure!!! :smthumbup:


----------



## Jellybeans

TheCuriousWife said:


> I DID tell him. Almost exactly as you suggested.
> 
> He just pretty much ignored it and turned the subject to how much rubbing and work he does for me, and how he deserves a reward.


Wait. I thought you told him you weren't going to go down on him cause he's not going to go down on you? 

Either way, it doesn't seem like he's into it. People don't change much. If he was like this before you married, then it is pa for the course. My bet is he was never into it so ti's not a new thing. You cant make him love it, unfortunately. 

For me, it would be a dealbreaker (before marriage, obviously). I would not want to be with a man who doesn't want to go down on me.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

IndyTMI said:


> Yes...be his co-pilot. Guide him while he is down there. Tell him what you like...what feels good.
> Hell, I'm sure you could even find a good instructional video on one of the free porn sites that can help him with this. Lack of knowing what to do is no excuse, as you know what it is that you want...use his hand and show him with your tongue what it is you want.


I do direct him while he is down there. I compliment, and tell him how good that feels. etc. 

I know he isn't very experienced at it, so he isn't great at it, I'm sure he's not to confident. But dang you can't get better without practice.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I agree. I could have sex for hours.
> 
> Unfortunately I don't think he has the same view. If I take longer than 15 minutes or so the "extra" effort like kissing stops and he just lays beside me with his eyes closed while he continues rubbing. He's fallen asleep on me more than one time. So while he doesn't vocally tell me to hurry up, and if I ask him if he wants to stop he will say no. His body language is very bored, and it's pretty ahem clear that he isn't aroused anymore.
> 
> So of course I start feeling pressured and I try to hurry up, but then I can't relax, so it just takes longer.


Well, I gotta say, it is a good thing that everything else is great. Because when it comes to being a lover in the sack, he is extremely selfish.


----------



## DesertRat1978

Quite a few years ago, I had a fling. Her ex-boyfriend did not like to give oral. He had Aspberger's Syndrome and was quite selfish. There was only way to do something. Sex was a ritual that always started with drinking and then a few pecks on the cheek followed by him giving it to her from behind. He did not like oral because it was messy and it messed with his precise and quite selfish ritual.


----------



## CalBanker

OP your original question, have we had any men say they don't like it period?


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Jellybeans said:


> Wait. I thought you told him you weren't going to go down on him cause he's not going to go down on you?
> 
> Either way, it doesn't seem like he's into it. People don't change much. If he was like this before you married, then it is pa for the course. My bet is he was never into it so ti's not a new thing. You cant make him love it, unfortunately.
> 
> For me, it would be a deal reaker (before marriage, obviously). I would not want to be with a man who doesn't want to go down on me.


Well I did both. I told him I'd like him to give me oral. Then he complained that he never gets any, and I told him I wasn't giving him any because he wasn't giving me any.

We didn't do oral until after marriage. So there was no way for me to know he didn't like it. When we talked about it, he seemed excited about it. No red flags.

It took a couple weeks or so for him to do it on me, even though I gave him oral the 2nd time we had sex.

When first married I asked him to do oral on me nearly every time. It never lasted more than a couple minutes.

Then after a month or so he didn't seem interested so I stopped asking.

Months went by and he never brought it up. I mentioned it a few times and he would laugh it off or change the subject.

While if I ask now he will usually do it on me (for a couple minutes) he is reluctant, and doesn't seem to enjoy it. So I just feel bad if I ask him. I probably ask every couple months.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

I don't think one man has said they don't like it, if the girl is clean of course.


----------



## CalBanker

I still think you have to have a conversation and get to the root of his displeasure for it. He is full of $hit if he says he likes it, because if he liked it, you'd have a hard time getting him out of there.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I don't think one man has said they don't like it, if the girl is clean of course.


Granted, it is TAM. Probably not the best audience to get naysayers on headin south!


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> I still think you have to have a conversation and get to the root of his displeasure for it. He is full of $hit if he says he likes it, because if he liked it, you'd have a hard time getting him out of there.


I agree.

I've let it slide for quite sometime now. But dang it I want some oral!

He's so hard to get anything out of. Our conversations never make much progress. I'm just going to have to dig in my heels and push harder I guess.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

As an additional note I don't think he is too impressed with lady parts in general.

He has joked about them being funny looking (not mine specifically of course  ) and he won't come near me when I'm on my period.

So maybe he just really has an aversion to my female bits, and doesn't want to stick his face down there. Who knows.


----------



## Jellybeans

TheCuriousWife said:


> We didn't do oral until after marriage. So there was no way for me to know he didn't like it. When we talked about it, he seemed excited about it. No red flags.


Oh I see.  That sucks. 

Like someone else said, if he were into it, he'd be all up in it. He's not. 

I would just ask why he isn't into it and tell him that you would really like to do it a lot because you like it; that it would make you very happy sexually.

If he doesn't bite, then you have your answer. It would appear that he's just not into satisfying you sexually; is a selfish lover.

You say he's hard to talk to. Again, selfish. Not fun.

I was truly blessed in my marriage, even if we split. My ex went for it every single time we were intimate. He had a vagina obsession. And I was so happy for that. 

I find that men who are really into it--you cannot get them to stop. It's awesome.


----------



## arbitrator

*Other than for being totally unhygienic/unclean(bad smell), menstrual discharge, or just a general unwillingness to participate, nothing else would keep me from the hallowed playground.

The lack of oral, in my book, is pretty much a deal-breaker for me, which encompasses giving as well as receiving!*


----------



## Jellybeans

How long have you been together/married? Ages?


----------



## Jellybeans

arbitrator said:


> The lack of oral, in my book, is pretty much a deal-breaker for me, which encompasses giving as well as receiving!


This is how I feel. IMO, it's one of my favorite things about sex.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> As an additional note I don't think he is too impressed with lady parts in general.
> 
> He has joked about them being funny looking (not mine specifically of course  ) and he won't come near me when I'm on my period.
> 
> So maybe he just really has an aversion to my female bits, and doesn't want to stick his face down there. Who knows.


What? What? :scratchhead:


----------



## TheCuriousWife

We've only been married a little over a year.

We started dating nearly 6 years ago.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> What? What? :scratchhead:


He's crazy I tell you!

I love the male anatomy. 

There is nothing wrong with mine either by the way. I don't have any weird things going on down there. lol


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I agree.
> 
> I've let it slide for quite sometime now. But dang it I want some oral!
> 
> He's so hard to get anything out of. Our conversations never make much progress. I'm just going to have to dig in my heels and push harder I guess.


I should share, my wife is not that into giving BJs, but she will gladly do it for me based on how I'm so happy to pleasure her. I'm not that huge on getting BJs, when she tells me that when I get home I'm getting one, I find it as a great start to foreplay and then usually pull her off, spread her legs and go to my happy place!!! :smthumbup:

But again, my wife is totally willing, because she knows it feels good for me.


----------



## Jellybeans

Oh my. Six years is a long time. 

Is he always standoffish about talking about important matters; does he discount your feelings a lot? Blank you when you bring up important stuff?

People don't generally change much. Just saying.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> As an additional note I don't think he is too impressed with lady parts in general.
> 
> He has joked about them being funny looking (not mine specifically of course  ) and he won't come near me when I'm on my period.
> 
> So maybe he just really has an aversion to my female bits, and doesn't want to stick his face down there. Who knows.


I go back to your stare thread. I can't get enough of looking at my wife naked and all her bits!!

She even allows me to go down there and just observe her down below. I'll move my fingers around it, look closely at it, watch my fingers slide in, lightly blow on it. I can't get enough of it, such beauty!!!


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Jellybeans said:


> Oh my. Six years is a long time.
> 
> Is he always standoffish about talking about important matters; does he discount your feelings a lot? Blank you when you bring up important stuff?
> 
> People don't generally change much. Just saying.



He is very good about talking about important matters that involve anything but SEX! 

He always listened to what I have to say. But with sex I usually get one word answers, or "of course I love it baby." or "of course I'll try to do better." But nothing changes, or it changes for a short while. 

BTW the only reason we dated for so long was because we were very young when we started dating.


----------



## Jellybeans

How old are you guys?


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> I go back to your stare thread. I can't get enough of looking at my wife naked and all her bits!!
> 
> She even allows me to go down there and just observe her down below. I'll move my fingers around it, look closely at it, watch my fingers slide in, lightly blow on it. I can't get enough of it, such beauty!!!


:smthumbup:

Oh if only my husband felt and acted this way. I get hot just thinking about it. 

This is how I feel about his body.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Early twenties.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> Early twenties.


Okay, I will say. I didn't realize how in love with her vag I was until later in life. In my early twenties, I was probably very selfish too. I honestly don't remember going down on a woman and enjoying it like I do now. I'm 34.

So maybe things may change?


----------



## DesertRat1978

I have an ex-wife and she did not take care of her area all that well. I am not exaggerating when I say that she stunk so bad down there that I looked forward to her farts.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> Okay, I will say. I didn't realize how in love with her vag I was until later in life. In my early twenties, I was probably very selfish too. I honestly don't remember going down on a woman and enjoying it like I do now. I'm 34.
> 
> So maybe things may change?


I hope so. 

I'm hoping he is just immature, and will grow out of some of it with age. 

But I don't want to let the bad habits start now, or else they will stay!


----------



## TheCuriousWife

tyler1978 said:


> I have an ex-wife and she did not take care of her area all that well. I am not exaggerating when I say that she stunk so bad down there that I looked forward to her farts.


Ew. Dislike.


----------



## southern wife

TheCuriousWife said:


> I DID tell him. Almost exactly as you suggested.
> 
> He just pretty much ignored it and turned the subject to how much rubbing and work he does for me, and how he deserves a reward.


Switch out rubbing for licking!

And he only gets BJs AFTER said licking!


----------



## CalBanker

tyler1978 said:


> I have an ex-wife and she did not take care of her area all that well. I am not exaggerating when I say that she stunk so bad down there that I looked forward to her farts.


:rofl:


----------



## TheCuriousWife

southern wife said:


> Switch out rubbing for licking!
> 
> And he only gets BJs AFTER said licking!


I've told him this.

If he does oral on me, I'll finish him in any way his little heart desires.

I'll even do 69 if he'd like. 

I have no problems giving him oral. I love it.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I hope so.
> 
> I'm hoping he is just immature, and will grow out of some of it with age.
> 
> But I don't want to let the bad habits start now, or else they will stay!


But I will say, if I had a wife making the attempts that you are making, I'd be so open to whatever she wanted!!! Plus a wife that was so open to giving BJs. 

I think he needs to find out what he could lose sexually....that being the BJs....then find out if listening to you sexually is important now?


----------



## Jellybeans

I am getting the impression that her sexual needs don't mean that much to him. He wants sex his way.


----------



## southern wife

TheCuriousWife said:


> I love the male anatomy.



Maybe HE does, too!!!  :scratchhead:


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> But I will say, if I had a wife making the attempts that you are making, I'd be so open to whatever she wanted!!! Plus a wife that was so open to giving BJs.
> 
> I think he needs to find out what he could lose sexually....that being the BJs....then find out if listening to you sexually is important now?


I'll continue sticking to my guns with no blow jobs.

I think I'm doing pretty good. It's been over a month now.


----------



## Jellybeans

Do you have sex often? 

You guys are so young.


----------



## Jellybeans

Do you have sex often? 

You guys are so young.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Jellybeans said:


> I am getting the impression that her sexual needs don't mean that much to him. He wants sex his way.


My needs are definitely below his.


----------



## Jellybeans




----------



## TheCuriousWife

Jellybeans said:


> Do you have sex often?
> 
> You guys are so young.


I'd like to have sex everyday if I could. I know better than to ask that much though.

We average 2 or 3 times a week. Probably only 25% or less are actual good sex. The rest is pity sex, or just so so.


----------



## DesertRat1978

Some men complain that it takes too long to get a woman off when you go down there. I must simply be more patient than I think that I am. The long, slow build up towards that amazing crescendo is worth it, in my book. Taking my time, in hopes of it being out of this world for her is my style. I realize that it may not hit the bullseye directly but you have to try. The husband here seems as if he is not fully confident in his abilities or he is too results-driven.


----------



## tulsy

TheCuriousWife said:


> Your not helping guys.
> 
> I wish my husband would give me some great oral.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out why a man WOULDN'T like it.
> 
> So far I have no answers besides cleanliness, which isn't my problem.
> 
> Keep em com'n. (pun intended)





TheCuriousWife said:


> No oral, well very very rare, very short oral. Maybe for 2 minutes every few months, if I ask.
> 
> I do compliment.


Do you smell?

I love to pleasure a woman that way, but not if she smells. Play with yourself and smell your fingers...if it doesn't smell like something you'd want in your mouth, there's your answer.

Always shower first...wash your who-ha and your azz really well so there's no smell.

..and if you shave down there, make sure the stubble isn't too sharp. Put you hand low in the short shaved area and move up (like his nose would be moving up from below)...if it's very sharp, it's like getting your face sand-blasted.


----------



## CalBanker

tyler1978 said:


> Some men complain that it takes too long to get a woman off when you go down there. I must simply be more patient than I think that I am. The long, slow build up towards that amazing crescendo is worth it, in my book. Taking my time, in hopes of it being out of this world for her is my style. I realize that it may not hit the bullseye directly but you have to try. The husband here seems as if he is not fully confident in his abilities or he is too results-driven.


Yeah, results for just him.

I don't care how long it takes for her. Sometimes she will say, oh honey come on, its not going to happen tonight. That comment right there gets me on my toes and ready for more. I'll stay down there, find that bulleye and when I come up with the look of victory she is so happy and then my orgasm is even more heightened!!!


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Tyler I'd say he is results driven.

As soon as I'm done it's finish for him and clean up. So my orgasms are usually as soon as possible. There is no attempting a slow build up. I've never been teased and told to wait, or never even had a 2nd orgasm afterwards.


----------



## DesertRat1978

CalBanker said:


> Yeah, results for just him.
> 
> I don't care how long it takes for her. Sometimes she will say, oh honey come on, its not going to happen tonight. That comment right there gets me on my toes and ready for more. I'll stay down there, find that bulleye and when I come up with the look of victory she is so happy and then my orgasm is even more heightened!!!


When I speak of results, I am speaking of affirmation that he is doing it right. Most women that I have been with take more than 2 minutes to really get going. The husband may simply be impatient and want the positive affirmation right from the start. Instead of letting it slowly build up, maybe he expects her to have O's and be loud/expressive very early on.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> Tyler I'd say he is results driven.
> 
> As soon as I'm done it's finish for him and clean up. So my orgasms are usually as soon as possible. There is no attempting a slow build up. I've never been teased and told to wait, or never even had a 2nd orgasm afterwards.


You should try playfully teasing him.....honey, I'm going to blow your brains out if you can get me to a second orgasm!


----------



## CalBanker

tyler1978 said:


> When I speak of results, I am speaking of affirmation that he is doing it right. Most women that I have been with take more than 2 minutes to really get going. The husband may simply be impatient and want the positive affirmation right from the start. Instead of letting it slowly build up, maybe he expects her to have O's and be loud/expressive very early on.


Gotcha.

Well, then he is immature, you can't flick the clit a couple times with your tongue and expect her eyes to roll back in her head. You gotta earn that honey, dude!


----------



## badcompany

He's not going to change TCW, and I'll never understand it(LD).
The last time I went down on stbxw.......wow it's been almost 9 months already..... she came so hard she split my lower lip, and if anything it pushed her further away(she's BPD).


----------



## PBear

TheCuriousWife said:


> I'd like to have sex everyday if I could. I know better than to ask that much though.
> 
> We average 2 or 3 times a week. Probably only 25% or less are actual good sex. The rest is pity sex, or just so so.


Pity sex on who's part? How often would he initiate if you don't?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans

tyler1978 said:


> The husband here seems as if he is not fully confident in his abilities or he is too results-driven.


Or it could be as simple as he just doesn't like to go down on her (or anyone). Maybe he just doesn't like giving oral.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

badcompany said:


> He's not going to change TCW, and I'll never understand it(LD).
> The last time I went down on stbxw.......wow it's been almost 9 months already..... she came so hard she split my lower lip, and if anything it pushed her further away(she's BPD).


I'm sorry to hear that she doesn't like it. It sounds like great fun.


----------



## DesertRat1978

CalBanker said:


> Gotcha.
> 
> Well, then he is immature, you can't flick the clit a couple times with your tongue and expect her eyes to roll back in her head. You gotta earn that honey, dude!


I would agree with that statement. I am results driven as well but know that to get the result that I want, it takes more than 2 minutes. The result I want is a mind-blowing orgasm (possibly many) for her. To get there, I have to be creative, patient, incredibly observant, and persistent. To her and feel that desired result is worth all of the effort. 

Another thing is that the husband may not have the energy needed to perform on her the way that she wants. This is not condoning it but that could be part of it.


----------



## ankh

The man who doesn't love giving his lover oral, is just missing out on the best in life.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

PBear said:


> Pity sex on who's part? How often would he initiate if you don't?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Pity sex for me. I'm a walking horn dog. So he obliges me a lot of times.

He'd initiate probably 1 or 2 times a week. But not because of thinking of me, just because he wants a release.

Before yesterday I haven't had an orgasm in a week and a half. His form of initiating yesterday was flirting and telling me he needed to have an orgasm. He had one Saturday. I was like, "Your horny? What about me!"


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> Pity sex for me. I'm a walking horn dog. So he obliges me a lot of times.
> 
> He'd initiate probably 1 or 2 times a week. But not because of thinking of me, just because he wants a release.
> 
> Before yesterday I haven't had an orgasm in a week and a half. His form of initiating yesterday was flirting and telling me he needed to have an orgasm. He had one Saturday. I was like, "Your horny? What about me!"


Jeez....again, keep the lotion bottle close for him. :lol:


----------



## DesertRat1978

it sounds like a mix of being immature (wanting instant affirmation), lack of energy, and some apathy on his part. He wants her but not quite to the level that she is desiring. To do oral on a woman correctly takes patience, persistence, and energy.


----------



## ankh

oh yes all required patience but so well worth the wait


----------



## CalBanker

Curious, do you think your H has troubles do to a thread you had in the past about always being moist?


----------



## badcompany

TheCuriousWife said:


> I'm sorry to hear that she doesn't like it. It sounds like great fun.


She liked it...at least her body liked it.... she didn't hit me she squeezed me so tight with her thighs that is what happened I licked the alphabet and when she would start to tighten up I'd back off, then after about 4 times I really went after it and she exploded. 
Hopefully it's not my last time "feasting at the Y", as I notice the details would say haha(he should copyright that), but the dating pool for my age group is pretty sad here despite the fair amount of interest I'm getting.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

CalBanker said:


> Curious, do you think your H has troubles do to a thread you had in the past about always being moist?


No I don't think so. If I'm fresh out of the shower, which I always am before sex.

Besides isn't oral sex and sex in general suppose to be wet?

My husband slobbers way more than I "leak."


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> No I don't think so. If I'm fresh out of the shower, which I always am before sex.
> 
> Besides isn't oral sex and sex in general suppose to be wet?
> 
> My husband slobbers way more than I "leak."


Yep! My goal is to come out of there having to wipe off my whole face!!! :smthumbup:

I just saw that sometimes you've had to change the liner or the H has had the liner right there when removing the panties or something. 

Just looking at all different ideas as to why he wouldn't be all about burying his face all up in it!


----------



## TheCuriousWife

He's not allowed to touch inside the panties if I have a liner on. Outside is fine. If he wants to play down there I will quickly excuse myself and freshen up. It prevents icky situations.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> He's not allowed to touch inside the panties if I have a liner on. Outside is fine. If he wants to play down there I will quickly excuse myself and freshen up. It prevents icky situations.


Do you think that has anything to do with his lack of attention on your lady bits?


----------



## TheCuriousWife

No I don't think so. I'm a clean freak.


----------



## CalBanker

Well, I think it really is a matter of having a real conversation about this and not letting him change the subject.

Oh, and no BJs for Mr. Selfiepants!


----------



## TheCuriousWife

I agree. I'm never going to get to the end of this if I don't get a real answer.

I'll try my best to get a good conversation, but we'll see how that goes.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

I agree. I'm never going to get to the end of this if I don't get a real answer.

I'll try my best to get a good conversation, but we'll see how that goes.


----------



## Anon Pink

I just can't see how you can love a man who is such a selfish lover? I just don't get it?

You, a highly sexual woman who is more than capable of having multiple orgasms but have never been given the opportunity? No wonder why you're always horny, he never does it right!

And you want to stay with this man the rest of your life?:scratchhead:

10 years from now your husbands gonna get the shock of his life! You're either gonna up and leave or you're gonna have an affair. Yeah yeah right now you're super committed to making this work, thinking if you love him hard enough he'll love you back hard enough. 

It doesn't work that way.

Selfish people remain selfish until not being selfish hurts worse!


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Anon Pink said:


> I just can't see how you can love a man who is such a selfish lover? I just don't get it?
> 
> You, a highly sexual woman who is more than capable of having multiple orgasms but have never been given the opportunity? No wonder why you're always horny, he never does it right!
> 
> And you want to stay with this man the rest of your life?:scratchhead:
> 
> 10 years from now your husbands gonna get the shock of his life! You're either gonna up and leave or you're gonna have an affair. Yeah yeah right now you're super committed to making this work, thinking if you love him hard enough he'll love you back hard enough.
> 
> It doesn't work that way.
> 
> Selfish people remain selfish until not being selfish hurts worse!


I agree it sounds crazy.

I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. But that isn't to say I won't in 5 or 10 years.

I'm going to give it my best effort to make our marriage work.

If in the end nothing changes and I'm miserable, then I'll say I gave it my best shot and get out.

In the mean time I'll stick around TAM to make sure my head is on straight, and that I continue to realize and fight for what I want and not just settle.


----------



## LostViking

There was only one instance where I did not enjoy giving a woman head. A few months back I was out with a gal that I used to work with. She was beautiful and sexy and had it all going on. 

So we go out and eat dinner, drink and dance, then go back to her place and she proceeds to tackle me when we get through the front door. I chased her to the bedroom and when she got undressed and laid back on the bed, I got down to give her a right nice munching....

... but I recoiled in horror.  WTF???

She was as clean as a whistle, but her nicely shaved vag looked like a sea monster! It had the longest labias I have ever seen. I swear I could have taken each side and wrapped it around my head and they would have touched in the back. It looked like some terrible vision out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel. 

But I am a gentleman. I went ahead, fought through the instinct to run screaming out of the room, went down on her and got her off nicely (fortunately she had a clitorus that you didn't have to look around for). 

But I must admit it traumatised me.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> I agree. I'm never going to get to the end of this if I don't get a real answer.
> 
> I'll try my best to get a good conversation, but we'll see how that goes.


Try your best? See how it goes? 

Curious, you need to own this conversation and demand answers. You need to get answers and let him know why you want answers, because you feel this pain right now sexually, next thing will be other things that make you unhappy outside of the bedroom and it will just spiral downhill.

But let me give you mad props for holding out on him with his pleasure. 

Its not easy to make changes and to confront your spouse I understand that. Because sometimes we look at it as being easier to just leave it alone and bottle it up, because they might get mad. Well, you are mad and you are venting on TAM.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Your right. I need to be assertive. 

I'll get to the bottom of this. If he says he loves it so much, I'll duct tape him down south and he will have no choice in the matter how long he is down there. 

Hmm. That sounds kind of fun.


----------



## CalBanker

LostViking said:


> There was only one instance where I did not enjoy giving a woman head. A few months back I was out with a gal that I used to work with. She was beautiful and sexy and had it all going on.
> 
> So we go out and eat dinner, drink and dance, then go back to her place and she proceeds to tackle me when we get through the front door. I chased her to the bedroom and when she got undressed and laid back on the bed, I got down to give her a right nice munching....
> 
> ... but I recoiled in horror.  WTF???
> 
> She was as clean as a whistle, but her nicely shaved vag looked like a sea monster! It had the longest labias I have ever seen. I swear I could have taken each side and wrapped it around my head and they would have touched in the back. It looked like some terrible vision out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.
> 
> But I am a gentleman. I went ahead, fought through the instinct to run screaming out of the room, went down on her and got her off nicely (fortunately she had a clitorus that you didn't have to look around for).
> 
> But I must admit it traumatised me.


:rofl:


----------



## TheCuriousWife

LostViking that is terrible!

Poor girl.

I'm glad I'm normal.... I think...

Now your story has got me kind of freaked out. I hope I don't look like a sea monster.


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> Your right. I need to be assertive.
> 
> I'll get to the bottom of this. If he says he loves it so much, I'll duct tape him down south and he will have no choice in the matter how long he is down there.
> 
> Hmm. That sounds kind of fun.


There ya go, that is the attitude! :smthumbup:


----------



## larry.gray

TheCuriousWife said:


> I'll continue sticking to my guns with no blow jobs.
> 
> I think I'm doing pretty good. It's been over a month now.


Heh.... you've got men here with LD / ND wives. Many of them have gone _years_ without a BJ.


----------



## larry.gray

LostViking said:


> She was as clean as a whistle, but her nicely shaved vag looked like a sea monster! It had the longest labias I have ever seen. I swear I could have taken each side and wrapped it around my head and they would have touched in the back. It looked like some terrible vision out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.


Pictures or it didn't happen

:rofl:


----------



## morituri

LostViking said:


> There was only one instance where I did not enjoy giving a woman head. A few months back I was out with a gal that I used to work with. She was beautiful and sexy and had it all going on.
> 
> So we go out and eat dinner, drink and dance, then go back to her place and she proceeds to tackle me when we get through the front door. I chased her to the bedroom and when she got undressed and laid back on the bed, I got down to give her a right nice munching....
> 
> ... but I recoiled in horror.  WTF???
> 
> She was as clean as a whistle, but her nicely shaved vag looked like a sea monster! It had the longest labias I have ever seen. I swear I could have taken each side and wrapped it around my head and they would have touched in the back. It looked like some terrible vision out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.
> 
> But I am a gentleman. I went ahead, fought through the instinct to run screaming out of the room, went down on her and got her off nicely (fortunately she had a clitorus that you didn't have to look around for).
> 
> But I must admit it traumatised me.


:rofl:

H.P. Lovecraft? You need to lay off that early 20th century horror porn


----------



## Thunder7

TheCuriousWife said:


> I agree.
> 
> I've let it slide for quite sometime now. But dang it I want some oral!


Casually mention you've been talking to a guy at work who LOVES to give his gf/wife oral. He goes on and on about it, and how much he loves it. Men are territorial. Maybe he'll get the hint that he needs to step up his game. Of course, he doesn't need to know this 'guy' doesn't really exist. Just a thought.


----------



## WyshIknew

TheCuriousWife said:


> Your right. I need to be assertive.
> 
> I'll get to the bottom of this. If he says he loves it so much, I'll duct tape him down south and he will have no choice in the matter how long he is down there.
> 
> Hmm. That sounds kind of fun.


Just a thought CW we sometimes use flavoured lubes to fun things up a bit, would that help him perhaps?

I like strawberry.


----------



## chillymorn

LostViking said:


> There was only one instance where I did not enjoy giving a woman head. A few months back I was out with a gal that I used to work with. She was beautiful and sexy and had it all going on.
> 
> So we go out and eat dinner, drink and dance, then go back to her place and she proceeds to tackle me when we get through the front door. I chased her to the bedroom and when she got undressed and laid back on the bed, I got down to give her a right nice munching....
> 
> ... but I recoiled in horror.  WTF???
> 
> She was as clean as a whistle, but her nicely shaved vag looked like a sea monster! It had the longest labias I have ever seen. I swear I could have taken each side and wrapped it around my head and they would have touched in the back. It looked like some terrible vision out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.
> 
> But I am a gentleman. I went ahead, fought through the instinct to run screaming out of the room, went down on her and got her off nicely (fortunately she had a clitorus that you didn't have to look around for).
> 
> But I must admit it traumatised me.


 so I guess a second date is out of the question? did she return the favor? was she good at it? maybe it aint so bad to have a large.......


----------



## LostViking

chillymorn said:


> so I guess a second date is out of the question? did she return the favor? was she good at it? maybe it aint so bad to have a large.......


LOL. No second date. She moved away shortly afterwards. Actually, she was very good in bed other than her unusual anatomy. And of course I'm exaggerating. I just thought a little levity would brighten up a thread that was getting a little too clinical. 

OP, some men just have hang ups about some aspects of sex, just like some women do. And in the end there is little you can do about it. My take is your hubby has a mental block about giving oral. I think he must have had a bad experience with a woman before he met you, some woman with bad hygiene.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LoveMy2Boys

Oh, I am glad I found this thread. My husband never wants to give me oral, but constantly wants bj's. I am sure that I am very clean...he said it takes too long and it makes his jaw hurt. So I stopped the bj's. He complains all of the time, but I got tired of doing all of the work. Thought I was the only one with this problem. =(


----------



## ankh

Your hubby is suffering from Stu pid itty. Get him to a doctor quick! I love giving all the time, even if I don't recceive. Wife loves it.


----------



## LostViking

LoveMy2Boys said:


> Oh, I am glad I found this thread. My husband never wants to give me oral, but constantly wants bj's. I am sure that I am very clean...he said it takes too long and it makes his jaw hurt. So I stopped the bj's. He complains all of the time, but I got tired of doing all of the work. Thought I was the only one with this problem. =(


It takes no more jaw action to get a woman off than it does to eat a meal.

He's doing it wrong. Seriously.


----------



## I Notice The Details

Could there really be men who don't like giving oral to a woman? I have never met one yet. 

Maybe Sasquatch????


----------



## CouldItBeSo

LostViking said:


> There was only one instance where I did not enjoy giving a woman head. A few months back I was out with a gal that I used to work with. She was beautiful and sexy and had it all going on.
> 
> So we go out and eat dinner, drink and dance, then go back to her place and she proceeds to tackle me when we get through the front door. I chased her to the bedroom and when she got undressed and laid back on the bed, I got down to give her a right nice munching....
> 
> ... but I recoiled in horror.  WTF???
> 
> She was as clean as a whistle, but her nicely shaved vag looked like a sea monster! It had the longest labias I have ever seen. I swear I could have taken each side and wrapped it around my head and they would have touched in the back. It looked like some terrible vision out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.
> 
> But I am a gentleman. I went ahead, fought through the instinct to run screaming out of the room, went down on her and got her off nicely (fortunately she had a clitorus that you didn't have to look around for).
> 
> But I must admit it traumatised me.


So you must check out women's labia before you decide if their anatomy is good enough to have sex with you?

Maybe you should talk to a psychiatrist about your trauma.

PS. a gentleman would not tell stories about shaming women's anatomy on a public forum.


----------



## LostViking

CouldItBeSo said:


> So you must check out women's labia before you decide if their anatomy is good enough to have sex with you?
> 
> Maybe you should talk to a psychiatrist about your trauma.
> 
> PS. a gentleman would not tell stories about shaming women's anatomy on a public forum.


:rofl:


----------



## larry.gray

LostViking said:


> It takes no more jaw action to get a woman off than it does to eat a meal.
> 
> He's doing it wrong. Seriously.


Well I'm 'doing it wrong' according to you, but my wife likes it so I'm going with her opinion. My jaw does get sore. So does my tongue. It's totally worth it though. :smthumbup:


----------



## broomgirl

You're not alone, OP. My fiance doesn't like giving me oral either. He says he thinks it's "dirty". Funnily enough, he has no issue with actual intercourse, or me giving him a BJ. 

I don't smoke or drink coffee. I drink lots of water. I shower daily. My ex boyfriend loved going down on me. So I'm pretty sure it's not a hygiene / smell issue. In fairness, my fiance says he's never liked giving oral, so it's not just me. 

It's extremely frustrating though. I'm lucky if he goes down on me once a year (and like the OP, it's only for a couple of minutes). It's actually one of several reasons why I'm considering breaking off the engagement.


----------



## ankh

It'll be his loss, broomgirl. Nothing in more intimate than being right there.


----------



## arbitrator

broomgirl said:


> You're not alone, OP. My fiance doesn't like giving me oral either. He says he thinks it's "dirty". Funnily enough, he has no issue with actual intercourse, or me giving him a BJ.
> 
> I don't smoke or drink coffee. I drink lots of water. I shower daily. My ex boyfriend loved going down on me. So I'm pretty sure it's not a hygiene / smell issue. In fairness, my fiance says he's never liked giving oral, so it's not just me.
> 
> It's extremely frustrating though. I'm lucky if he goes down on me once a year (and like the OP, it's only for a couple of minutes). It's actually one of several reasons why I'm considering breaking off the engagement.


*Maybe I'm just a tad shallow minded here, but a spouse, and more especially a potential one, refusing to perform oral within the confines of a married or committed relationship; without some viable excuse seems just way too much like a "deal-breaker" to me!*


----------



## TheCuriousWife

WyshIknew said:


> Just a thought CW we sometimes use flavoured lubes to fun things up a bit, would that help him perhaps?
> 
> I like strawberry.


We have some strawberry flavored lube on our bedside table... It never gets used.

Maybe I'll draw some attention to how we should bring it out again.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

In other news, I've mentioned oral several times over the last week or two and nothing.

But that doesn't keep him from complaining every few days how he hasn't had a blow job in a long time.

I'm tried of blowing hot air and not getting anywhere.

Now when he says, "Man, a blow job sounds nice," or "I'd love a blow job right now. I quickly respond with a, "yeah it sure does," or "yeah, me too."

He doesn't seem to be getting the hint though. Maybe a smack over the head with a 2x4 would clear his mind?


----------



## CalBanker

TheCuriousWife said:


> In other news, I've mentioned oral several times over the last week or two and nothing.
> 
> But that doesn't keep him from complaining every few days how he hasn't had a blow job in a long time.
> 
> I'm tried of blowing hot air and not getting anywhere.
> 
> Now when he says, "Man, a blow job sounds nice," or "I'd love a blow job right now. I quickly respond with a, "yeah it sure does," or "yeah, me too."
> 
> He doesn't seem to be getting the hint though. Maybe a smack over the head with a 2x4 would clear his mind?


I wouldn't even comment to him now. He is being too selfish. He gets it, but doesn't care. Unless he is that stupid to realize that you aren't going to budge.


----------



## CouldItBeSo

Seems Hollywood and MPAA don't like giving oral either: Evan Rachel Wood attacks MPAA for cutting sex scene featuring cunnilingus | Film | theguardian.com

_"Actor takes to Twitter to criticise ratings body for removing oral sex scene from Charlie Countryman, saying its symptomatic of a society that wants women to feel ashamed of sex" "The scene where the two main characters make 'love' was altered because someone felt that seeing a man give a woman oral sex made people 'uncomfortable' but the scenes in which people are murdered by having their heads blown off remained intact and unaltered."_

I wonder if attitudes like this affect how men view cunnilingus ie. not liking giving oral.


----------



## Another Planet

I Notice The Details said:


> Could there really be men who don't like giving oral to a woman? I have never met one yet.
> 
> Maybe Sasquatch????


Hey now! wtf don't make assumptions!


----------



## bestyet2be

TheCuriousWife said:


> In the mean time I'll stick around TAM to make sure my head is on straight...


I think, "yes" and "no." I've learned lots here and will keep sticking around, at least as much as I have time to. Lots of smart, interesting people, but



CalBanker said:


> Granted, it is TAM. Probably not the best audience to get naysayers on headin south!


and I too think people here are significantly more sexual than average, and that can be a problem. What's the saying, "Comparison is the basis of misery?" If you think everyone else's mate is better than yours, you'll feel miserable.

If you think everyone else's mate is less sexy than yours, more inclined to be arguing about money, more likely to have nasty addictions, etc., you'll probably go through your marriage feeling pretty good about your situation.

Reading TAM, you can probably feel great that your spouse isn't having affairs all the time, because there are so many people posting about that. However, you might also feel terrible that all the men posting her are extremely oral, compared to your husband. I don't know that all men in the world are extremely oral.

I guess I'll be the first to write, I'm not that much into oral. Either way. In our good times, my wife and I have offered each other more, but overall we don't more than occasionally dabble. I guess I assumed that was normal, because the urge for sex is tied to having more babies, and so oral wouldn't be all that popular, as people with that urge wouldn't reproduce so much.

Surely it's worth your trying to understand the obstacles, though. Does your husband just not find oral desirable, or is there something in the way? I don't care for asparagus. It makes my urine stinky. If they invented a kind of asparagus that tasted the same, but didn't make my urine stinky, would I like asparagus more? I don't think so.

I do get the "feeling desired" element of oral. But best intentions aside, I don't like having the teeth right there. If some day my wife loses all her teeth and has dentures she can remove, would I be more eager for oral? Actually I don't think so.

Although I haven't searched, I think at least some of the men writing here have elsewhere written that there's nothing that feels as good to them as a vagina...not fingers...not anal...even oral?...not sure...but maybe they just enjoy mixing it up a little...guess so. Still I'm surprised by the near unanimity of the postings in this thread, as well as the disparity between giving and getting.


----------



## vellocet

TheCuriousWife said:


> Men, is there anyone here that doesn't like giving oral?
> 
> If so, what are the reasons you don't like it?
> 
> Thanks!


I don't particularly enjoy it, I'll have to admit. Well that would be 70% not enjoying it, and 30% enjoying it. The 30% of me that enjoys it is that I want to please my partner. Therefore I do it happily. Kind of like I will mow the yard for her and happy to do it. I don't especially like mowing the yard, but like helping her out.

The 70% of me that doesn't enjoy it is simply a lot of times its too much of a chore, and the smell. Not that its a horribly rotten smell, but I don't care how many times a woman washes or how clean it is, there is still this odor. Kind of like some people like the smell of garlic, others don't.

But its not enough to keep me from pleasing her in that way.


----------



## Mike_O

To the OP:

If your husband says he likes oral sex then why does he not participate in oral sex? An obvious contradiction. My guess is you are not getting a complete and honest answer to a simple question - this, BTW, is a much bigger issue in marriage than oral sex.

As I understand from your posts, you are age 20+, recently married and no kids(?). You started this thread to find out why men might not like oral sex - good for you to take initiative to do the research. Perhaps the more accurate question is "Why does my husband say he likes oral sex but refuses to participate in oral sex?"

I think you have a reasonable question and a reasonable issue. In fact, I think you are lucky to be so early in your marriage for this to come up. Life and marriage is full of such questions and issues. I hasten to say that if you cannot get to the bottom of this particular issue (oral sex) via effective communication with your husband then your future may be full of problems much more substantial than oral sex.

Life and marriage is full of conflicts and compromises - some we can work through and some we cannot. Self-awareness and effective communication are keys to navigating the future.

Best Wishes!


----------



## RodgerRabbit

A very good friend of mine started using a famous line with her SO when he was asking for oral from her... He say "I love a BJ" 
Her reply " How many licks does it take to get to the center" 
He reply "I do not know" 
she reply " Well then you better get licking"


----------



## Jellybeans

broomgirl said:


> You're not alone, OP. My fiance doesn't like giving me oral either. He says he thinks it's "dirty". Funnily enough, he has no issue with actual intercourse, or me giving him a BJ.
> 
> I don't smoke or drink coffee. I drink lots of water. I shower daily. My ex boyfriend loved going down on me. So I'm pretty sure it's not a hygiene/smell issue. In fairness,my fiance says he's never liked giving oral, so it's not just me.
> It's extremely frustrating though. I'm lucky if he goes down on me once a year(and like the OP,it's only for a couple of minutes). It's actually one of several reasons why I'm considering breaking off the engagement.


Once a year?!?! I feel so bad for you. I seriously couldn't get my ex out of there. Crazy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans

arbitrator said:


> *Maybe I'm just a tad shallow minded here, but a spouse, and more especially a potential one, refusing to perform oral within the confines of a married or committed relationship; without some viable excuse seems just way too much like a "deal-breaker" to me!*


I totally agree. That would never work for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## I Notice The Details

Right on JellyBeans! 

We all need oral pleasure in our relationships!!!!!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Jellybeans said:


> Once a year?!?! I feel so bad for you. I seriously couldn't get my ex out of there. Crazy.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Same here but with my husband.Sometimes I think he'd rather do that the whole time than actual intercourse. 

I'd be heartbroken if he thought it was dirty


----------



## Jellybeans

ScarletBegonias said:


> Same here but with my husband.Sometimes I think he'd rather do that the whole time than actual intercourse.
> 
> I'd be heartbroken if he thought it was dirty


Awesome! I have been truly blessed in life in that the men I have been intimate with have been All About That. I didn't realize how many women were on the opposite end of that til TAM. I feel so sad for them! 

Also, I don't understand women who won't go down on their guy. Why? Worship it and he will worship you (hopefully!)


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Well as an update he finally went down on me a couple weeks ago for about 10 minutes. (New record) !!

That was great.

Since then nothing though.

A couple days ago I even brought out the strawberry lube and made a "big deal" of looking at it and mentioned how we haven't used it in a long time.

He glanced at me and said, "haha yeah. You might as well throw it away because we will never use it."

 

Well poop.

I've been longingly reading "She Comes First" and oral sex threads on TAM, wishing I would get to experience such loveliness.


----------



## CuddleBug

TheCuriousWife said:


> Men, is there anyone here that doesn't like giving oral?
> 
> If so, what are the reasons you don't like it?
> 
> Thanks!



I love to receive but also give oral. Ideally, every time my wifee gives me a BJ, I want to give her oral to orgasm and 69, holding each other tight, until we both have orgams, very ideal.

She is still insecure, so me giving her oral is rare and same with the vib I bought her. Hopefully this will change as more weight comes off because I love to really get in her, my face, nose, tongue and go wild.:smthumbup: And she shaves down there which is a bonus.

Whether its a few minutes or 20 minutes, I love it.


----------



## CouldItBeSo

Why is it called a "blowjob" for men but just "oral" for women?


----------



## ankh

I object. I love to EAT OUT MY LOVER, would do it all night if I could.


----------



## MrHappy

Why is it called a blowjob when you suck and not blow. You try to blow on it in your mouth and I will slap you upside the head!


----------



## treyvion

MrAvg said:


> Oral sounds better than eating her out.


We call it "head", whether man or woman recieves it.


----------



## arbitrator

MrHappy said:


> Why is it called a blowjob when you suck and not blow. You try to blow on it in your mouth and I will slap you upside the head!


*Brings back an early 1970's story about one of our more naive college frosh fraternity pledges who asked the very same thing.

Had to explain to him that the derivation of the term "blow job" was not from his GF "blowing" on him; but was simply called that because his date was just busy trying to get him "to blow!"

You should have seen the "light bulb" come on! Then one of our Seniors pitched him a Playboy and told him to read The Playboy Advisor!*


----------



## snerg

LoveMy2Boys said:


> Oh, I am glad I found this thread. My husband never wants to give me oral, but constantly wants bj's. I am sure that I am very clean...he said it takes too long and it makes his jaw hurt. So I stopped the bj's. He complains all of the time, but I got tired of doing all of the work. Thought I was the only one with this problem. =(


I'm the opposite with my SO. She never gives out the BJ so I just stopped eating at the Y - I also became tired of doing all the work.


----------



## CouldItBeSo

MrAvg said:


> Oral sounds better than eating her out.


How about a "squirt job" or SJ?


----------



## ScarletBegonias

We call it "giving/receiving licks" bc the rest sounds either clinical (oral) or too crass (eating out and others).


----------



## CouldItBeSo

ScarletBegonias said:


> We call it "giving/receiving licks" bc the rest sounds either clinical (oral) or too crass (eating out and others).


Kiss - Lick It Up - YouTube


----------



## I Notice The Details

ScarletBegonias said:


> We call it "giving/receiving licks" bc the rest sounds either clinical (oral) or too crass (eating out and others).


My wife calls it "kissing downstairs".....I thought she meant to say "downthere", but she says "downstairs". I still can't believe there are men who don't venture "downstairs" with their mouths and tongues. Their wives are missing out.

I LOVE it!


----------



## arbitrator

*To appropriately answer the thread title, "Men who don't like giving oral," you should fastly counter that with it's counterpart, "Men who won't be getting oral!"

That would only seem most fair and equitable!


Sorry guys, but I unequivocally consider it to be nature's ultimate quid pro quo!*


----------



## I Notice The Details

arbitrator said:


> *To appropriately answer the thread title, "Men who don't like giving oral," you should fastly counter that with it's counterpart, "Men who won't be getting oral!"
> 
> That would only seem most fair and equitable!"
> 
> 
> Sorry guys, but I unequivocally consider it to be nature's ultimate quid pro quo!*


:iagree: 100000%


----------



## ankh

A man who refuses to orally love his lady is shortsighted. I agree Mrs Adams, wholeheartedly. For me, to kneel and pleasure my wife with my tongue is the closest I get to heaven on this earth.


----------



## I Notice The Details

ankh said:


> A man who refuses to orally love his lady is shortsighted. I agree Mrs Adams, wholeheartedly. For me, to kneel and pleasure my wife with my tongue is the closest I get to heaven on this earth.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: Exactly. My thoughts exactly.


----------



## vellocet

I Notice The Details said:


> Right on JellyBeans!
> 
> We all need oral pleasure in our relationships!!!!!


So here is my question. If its expected that a partner perform oral, what about the wife swallowing?

Seems fair to me. If I am down there getting all sloppy, especially if the natural smell isn't something I particularly care for, shouldn't I get to cum in her mouth?

That's something that won't happen. Not a deal breaker for me. She expects me to giver her oral, which I do, but she won't swallow. I bring her to orgasm orally, but the favor is not returned. (and no, pulling up and finishing with the hand is not the same, I can do that myself)


----------



## ankh

What a woman! Beautiful!


----------



## johnAdams

Mrs Adams.......I need to think of a few new places to put it

I have no doubt that my dear wife would do anything I asked...she is very sexually adventurous.


----------



## rush

Very lucky together


----------



## vellocet

Mrs. John Adams said:


> There is a big difference in vaginal fluid and a big wad of seman. So I do not really see the comparison.


Its about the expectations. If a man isn't exactly thrilled with the aroma and doesn't like doing it, then some here are saying that he isn't a man or doesn't deserve to be with a woman. 

I don't particularly like the aroma, but do it nevertheless. So if I desire to be brought to orgasm via a blowjob, wouldn't that be fair? She wouldn't even have to swallow, she could spit it out after in a cup or something.

If a woman desires orgasm via oral, shouldn't I as well? And would the woman be considered unworthy the same as a man if she refused?


----------



## samyeagar

Mrs. John Adams said:


> *There is a big difference in vaginal fluid and a big wad of seman. So I do not really see the comparison*. However...I understand your question. I have swallowed, I have spit, I have had seman on my face, on my belly, on my feet, on my butt...get the picture? My favorite place to have seman is in my vagina...because I get to enjoy my husbands entire climax. We mostly use oral sex as foreplay so I don't have to swallow, but if my husband asked me to I would.


I keep hearing this, but I'm not sure how big of a difference there really is. A good long session on my STBW and there is a whole lot of her fluid all over my face, hands, and I swallow an awful lot of it...


----------



## rush

I cherish the stuff I get all over me


----------



## I Notice The Details

johnAdams said:


> Mrs Adams.......I need to think of a few new places to put it
> 
> I have no doubt that my dear wife would do anything I asked...she is very sexually adventurous.


I wish I could get my wife interested in TAM. I think it is great that both of you post your opinions here. Good for you!


----------



## johnAdams

Well, I like the smell and taste of my wife's vagina. I know she is not wild about the taste of semen. So, she is putting in more effort than me if she swallows. I know she will swallow but I seldom ask. I would much rather make a deposit in her anyway


----------



## I Notice The Details

johnAdams said:


> Well, I like the smell and taste of my wife's vagina. I know she is not wild about the taste of semen. So, she is putting in more effort than me if she swallows. I know she will swallow but I seldom ask. I would much rather make a deposit in her anyway


Nice....another president talking about making a deposit....you are not talking about a "Lewinsky" are you? :rofl:


----------



## johnAdams

I Notice The Details said:


> Nice....another president talking about making a deposit....you are not talking about a "Lewinsky" are you? :rofl:


I admit.......I did have sex with that woman.........Mrs. Adams


----------



## PBear

My SO can squirt cupfuls of fluid. Her BFF was even moreso; it was like drinking from a faucet. Way more than my miserly teaspoon or two...

My STBXW never gave me a BJ to completion, and rarely as a warmup, even. But I never considered withholding oral sex on her... I enjoyed that too much. Like I tell my SO... Me giving oral sex to her is foreplay for ME! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CouldItBeSo

PBear said:


> My SO can squirt cupfuls of fluid. Her BFF was even moreso; it was like drinking from a faucet. Way more than my miserly teaspoon or two...
> 
> My STBXW never gave me a BJ to completion, and rarely as a warmup, even. But I never considered withholding oral sex on her... I enjoyed that too much. Like I tell my SO... Me giving oral sex to her is foreplay for ME!
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How do you know that fact about your SO's BFF?


----------



## PBear

CouldItBeSo said:


> How do you know that fact about your SO's BFF?


I've posted on her before, but my SO and I have had a number of "swinging" experiences. The time with her BFF was the first one. So personal experience. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## I Notice The Details

johnAdams said:


> I admit.......I did have sex with that woman.........Mrs. Adams


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## CouldItBeSo

PBear said:


> I've posted on her before, but my SO and I have had a number of "swinging" experiences. The time with her BFF was the first one. So personal experience.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow... talk about awkward BFF visits?


----------



## PBear

CouldItBeSo said:


> Wow... talk about awkward BFF visits?


Awkward? No, never been any of that. Everyone gets along fine. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## I Notice The Details

Mrs. John Adams said:


> ...Now having said all this...I understand we all have different odors etc. my husband happens to like mine. And I will confess....I get Very turned on smelling myself on his penis after sex.
> 
> Whoa...


As a man with a great sense of smell, I just had to re-read that line above. WOW. WOW. WOW....and it came from a lady....WOW. That is very erotic Mrs. John Adams!


----------



## Kimberley17

I Notice The Details said:


> As a man with a great sense of smell, I just had to re-read that line above. WOW. WOW. WOW....and it came from a lady....WOW. That is very erotic Mrs. John Adams!


Anyone love being kissed passionately after he goes down? Love it.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

I don't know why a guy wouldn't enjoy going down. The average muff smells pretty sexy to me, and looks like the promised land. Holy h*ll yeah.

I'm even more baffled by the number of women who don't want a guy to go down. You'd be downright shocked if you knew how many women out there feel that part of their body is "just gross", and thus don't want my face down there. Its like 35-40% or so of the women I've ever tried to go down on.

The ones comfortable with their own bodies are eager for it. It just blows my mind how many women feel their own body is gross.


----------



## LoveLonely

TheCuriousWife said:


> Your right. I need to be assertive.
> 
> I'll get to the bottom of this. If he says he loves it so much, I'll duct tape him down south and he will have no choice in the matter how long he is down there.
> 
> Hmm. That sounds kind of fun.


I think you are on to something. Be sure to not shower for a few days. Even better, tie him down and nearly break his nose with all the grinding.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't know why a guy wouldn't enjoy going down. The average muff smells pretty sexy to me, and looks like the promised land. Holy h*ll yeah.
> 
> *I'm even more baffled by the number of women who don't want a guy to go down. You'd be downright shocked if you knew how many women out there feel that part of their body is "just gross", and thus don't want my face down there. Its like 35-40% or so of the women I've ever tried to go down on.*
> 
> The ones comfortable with their own bodies are eager for it. It just blows my mind how many women feel their own body is gross.


Ok... Interject here...... I was one of those women who was NOT comfortable with him going down there (most of our marriage even).....But here is the thing... *I've never been one to get off this way*.... I bet I would have gotten over it REAL FAST had I been! 

I am the odd one here... RARELY orgasm this way.. I mean like 3 times that I can even remember.... but Intercourse... 99.9 % of the time, easily...this is what I crave and Love... 

How a woman could feel this way... Well *I believe my mind was blocking the pleasure*... Think about it.... Men do you fancy the idea of sucking a man... in My mind, I was thinking "OMG, how can He stand that, YUCK, doesn't it smell, eehhhhh"...... there is not a lesbian tendency in me, so that seemed gross to me.. and yeah..that's where my mind was going..his experience.....

...and his being so quiet wasn't helping matters...Now I remember letting him do this for so long (It was so sensitive !)....but then I'd want to push his head away...I wanted him on top or me on top... ......He'd try to hold his head there even... Geez, the most dominant memories I have of my husband .. not wanting to budge.... ha ha.... 

But ultimately he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable... 

I think had he pursued this...playing it up in my mind....verbally expressing *how much* he wanted to go there... it would have calmed my brain some... accepted the fact.. ."Hey he really freaking wants that, get over it...relax!".... I don't know....

So he failed in that way... not talking it up...and I never really missed it -as hands on Foreplay and Intercourse was my fireworks...

Now today.. I think I would be upset if he didn't like it ... just because I want to explore it ALL... he's told me eating at the Y is one of his favorite things to do.... but still I am the same...orgasms elusive to me.... it's added foreplay ... and I love the fact he still loves it..


----------



## ConanHub

Kimberley17 said:


> Anyone love being kissed passionately after he goes down? Love it.


 I love kissing my wife Right after she's giving me oral And her kisses are like fire Right after I've given it to her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## heartsbeating

On reflection, the trust I felt with my husband when we were dating, him initiating this and then the way he blew my mind, quickly got me over any insecurities I might have had. I also grew up listening to a lot of Prince and that's partly to blame lol.

I couldn't imagine being with a man who wasn't willing to give that type of pleasure and just enjoy the sensuality that goes along with it.


----------



## CharlieParker

SimplyAmorous said:


> Ok... Interject here...... I was one of those women who was NOT comfortable with him going down there (most of our marriage even).....But here is the thing... *I've never been one to get off this way*.... I bet I would have gotten over it REAL FAST had I been!
> 
> I am the odd one here... RARELY orgasm this way.. I mean like 3 times that I can even remember.... but Intercourse... 99.9 % of the time, easily...this is what I crave and Love...
> 
> How a woman could feel this way... Well *I believe my mind was blocking the pleasure*... Think about it.... Men do you fancy the idea of sucking a man... in My mind, I was thinking "OMG, how can He stand that, YUCK, doesn't it smell, eehhhhh"...... there is not a lesbian tendency in me, so that seemed gross to me.. and yeah..that's where my mind was going..his experience.....
> 
> ...and his being so quiet wasn't helping matters...Now I remember letting him do this for so long (It was so sensitive !)....but then I'd want to push his head away...I wanted him on top or me on top... ......He'd try to hold his head there even... Geez, the most dominant memories I have of my husband .. not wanting to budge.... ha ha....
> 
> But ultimately he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable...
> 
> I think had he pursued this...playing it up in my mind....verbally expressing *how much* he wanted to go there... it would have calmed my brain some... accepted the fact.. ."Hey he really freaking wants that, get over it...relax!".... I don't know....
> 
> So he failed in that way... not talking it up...and I never really missed it -as hands on Foreplay and Intercourse was my fireworks...
> 
> Now today.. I think I would be upset if he didn't like it ... just because I want to explore it ALL... he's told me eating at the Y is one of his favorite things to do.... but still I am the same...orgasms elusive to me.... it's added foreplay ... and I love the fact he still loves it..


Very similar here. I wanted it, she felt too vulnerable, she was bad at receiving which didn't help my my poor giving. PiV was the way to go, because it was easy and effective. I'm glad we had a light bulb moment (giving and receiving) a few years while traveling (Munich). Oral is now the go to, while PiV O's don't happen. It takes two.


----------



## CharlieParker

Mrs. John Adams said:


> conanhub...are you saying you like to snowball? :smthumbup:
> I personally think all men who want to cum into their partners mouths should at least one time have it put into theirs.


2014 resolution, I want to cum in her and then make her cum orally. Doesn't play well with she cums first and other reasons I think she wouldn't be into it... But I can and should make it happen... not necessarily her O but well, we can try.


----------



## PBear

Mrs. John Adams said:


> conanhub...are you saying you like to snowball? :smthumbup:
> I personally think all men who want to cum into their partners mouths should at least one time have it put into theirs.
> 
> We have tried everything we know to do to get me to climax vaginally...Simplyamorous!! Good for you!!!


I would agree with this. Although I'll confess that my SO is the first one that we've explored this with. 

C


----------



## ConanHub

Mrs. John Adams said:


> conanhub...are you saying you like to snowball? :smthumbup:
> I personally think all men who want to cum into their partners mouths should at least one time have it put into theirs.
> 
> We have tried everything we know to do to get me to climax vaginally...Simplyamorous!! Good for you!!!


She has actually never finished me but has expressed interest in trying. Since she hasn't finished orally, we haven't discussed yet wether she would mind if it was in her mouth. 

I am an absolute animal in bed and would be up for almost anything at least once. Mrs. Conan is more reserved and I have to be careful and gentle helping her open up sexually.

I have come extremely close to giving her a PIV orgasm. I might have even done it recently. She has never had a PIV O with anyone. I even thought of starting a thread to get advice to maybe help us get there.

You and Mr. John haven't been able to get a PIV O either?

I would love your advice. Is this worth starting a thread?


----------



## over20

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't know why a guy wouldn't enjoy going down. The average muff smells pretty sexy to me, and looks like the promised land. Holy h*ll yeah.
> 
> I'm even more baffled by the number of women who don't want a guy to go down. You'd be downright shocked if you knew how many women out there feel that part of their body is "just gross", and thus don't want my face down there. Its like 35-40% or so of the women I've ever tried to go down on.
> 
> The ones comfortable with their own bodies are eager for it. It just blows my mind how many women feel their own body is gross.



You hit it.....My Dh pressured me for months in High School to go down on me......if he had his way he would never come up...


----------



## Singledude21

You give it, I give it.

You don't give it, you ain't getting sh%t.


----------



## over20

I Notice The Details said:


> As a man with a great sense of smell, I just had to re-read that line above. WOW. WOW. WOW....and it came from a lady....WOW. That is very erotic Mrs. John Adams!


Heck yeah.......yum


----------



## over20

ConanHub said:


> She has actually never finished me but has expressed interest in trying. Since she hasn't finished orally, we haven't discussed yet wether she would mind if it was in her mouth.
> 
> I am an absolute animal in bed and would be up for almost anything at least once. Mrs. Conan is more reserved and I have to be careful and gentle helping her open up sexually.
> 
> I have come extremely close to giving her a PIV orgasm. I might have even done it recently. She has never had a PIV O with anyone. I even thought of starting a thread to get advice to maybe help us get there.
> 
> You and Mr. John haven't been able to get a PIV O either?
> 
> I would love your advice. Is this worth starting a thread?



It's all about location....Dh works my sides........for a longer time than he probably wants to. That being said because I get really wet from him I can cum easily from my g-spot...his ......get's really, really engorged and hits it.....


----------



## over20

Mrs. John Adams said:


> hmmm over 20...my john is quite large and never hits my g spot...how do you make that happen?


You are cute..We have found doggy style the absolute best for me...I prop my hips up with pillows and angle my head and shoulders down. My body is pretty much at an 45 plus angle. My Dh husband knows to take it slow, going side to side, moving his hips from left to right always keeping it in.......yum......sorry...the key for me is I have to be dripping wet and very aroused from that position to cum..I think because my parts are so warm,wet and angled very deep......I can cum so easy cause at this point he is flipping rock hard......like a knife...


----------



## over20

ConanHub said:


> I love kissing my wife Right after she's giving me oral And her kisses are like fire Right after I've given it to her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's so hot....I do the same to my Dh.....yum


----------



## over20

Mrs. John Adams said:


> conanhub...are you saying you like to snowball? :smthumbup:
> I personally think all men who want to cum into their partners mouths should at least one time have it put into theirs.
> 
> We have tried everything we know to do to get me to climax vaginally...Simplyamorous!! Good for you!!!


Yes, DH and I have almost done that..after such hot sex though who cares what you do....kissing after I swallow him is pretty close.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

CharlieParker said:


> *Very similar here. I wanted it, she felt too vulnerable, she was bad at receiving which didn't help my my poor giving. PiV was the way to go, because it was easy and effective. I'm glad we had a light bulb moment (giving and receiving) a few years while traveling (Munich). Oral is now the go to, while PiV O's don't happen. It takes two.*


 Well at least I am not the only one. ...and your wife was not a repressed one - yet still -it wasn't her thing.. makes me feel just a little bit normal to *the why's* I wasn't into it way back... 

Oh dreading menopause , I just don't want that to happen... Oh how frustrating it will be -for the both of us.  



> *2014 resolution, I want to cum in her and then make her cum orally.* Doesn't play well with she cums first and other reasons I think she wouldn't be into it... But I can and should make it happen... not necessarily her O but well, we can try.


That's a funny resolution... I know my husband wishes this would work for me too...I think we have too much sex , if I was starving, it would surely work. Back then, we didn't have as much sex, probably why I remember it being so Gawd awful sensitive..but my mental hangs ups prevented his taking me to the limit. 



> *Mrs. John Adams said*:
> *We have tried everything we know to do to get me to climax vaginally...Simplyamorous!! Good for you!!!*


 I might have had some hang ups about sex , but 1 thing we had going on - from the very beginning... we had those







together... before I came to this forum, I thought that was the norm... I had no idea the statistics on female orgasm struggling here....

Our story is very odd...because we didn't talk about sex, we did miss each other in some ways....but the reason we didn't talk...was because we were so satisfied !... It might have been better if we weren't so in sync, a little frustration would have caused many things to be opened up & explored. We were happily 2-positioned vanilla for 19 long yrs. 

I have learned SO MUCH in the last 5 yrs...



> *ConanHub said*: *I have come extremely close to giving her a PIV orgasm. I might have even done it recently. She has never had a PIV O with anyone. I even thought of starting a thread to get advice to maybe help us get there*.


 I did a thread on Orgasms* >>*

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/102337-just-how-important-your-wifes-orgasm-you-man.html and a post loaded with book suggestions for this very purpose... 

Then Charlie Parker did this one* >> *http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/123794-just-how-important-his-orgasm-you-woman.html ...



> If anyone may be interested...thought I'd list a variety of books on the Big "O" *>>*
> 
> I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide:
> 
> Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm:
> 
> The Elusive Orgasm: A Woman's Guide to Why She Can't and How She Can Orgasm:
> 
> She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman:
> 
> Sex Woman First: How to teach him You come first (Guide to Female Orgam)
> 
> Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women
> 
> How to Have an Orgasm . . . As Often As You Want: Life-Changing Sexual Secrets for Women and Their Partners:
> 
> Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming:
> 
> Super Sexual Orgasm: Discover the Ultimate Pleasure Spot: The Cul-de-Sac:
> 
> Tantric Orgasm for Women
> 
> The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sex Study Says Female Orgasm Eludes Majority of Women ... mentions the great great Niece of Napoleon who underwent 2 experimental surgeries in order to find climatic release... some feel it could be a simple measurement -- a "rule of thumb" -- being the key to the pleasures of sexual intercourse.
> 
> Says approx 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Understanding The Female Orgasm - AskMen (small part of the article)...
> 
> Clitoris
> 
> The clitoris' only function is to provide pleasure for women. Researchers have not been able to discover any other reason for its existence, which is fine by us. As well, keep in mind that, because the clitoris is much easier to find, female orgasm is usually achieved via clitoral stimulation.
> 
> Vagina
> 
> Inside the vagina, you can find the infamous G-spot, or the Grafenberg spot. The G-spot is located on the front wall (toward the navel) of the vagina, between the opening and the cervix. Theory dictates that the G-spot can be either a bundle of nerves coming from the clitoris or a gland (or series of glands) that produces lubrication.
> 
> Usually, after one orgasm, guys need to rest (unless you're one of those lucky guys who can achieve multiples), but it's believed that women can experience three tempos of orgasm, which include the single orgasm, the serial multiple orgasm and the sequential multiple orgasm.
> 
> *1. *Single
> 
> With the single orgasm, a woman experiences one rush of pleasure. The orgasm can last anywhere from a few seconds to a minute.
> 
> *2.* Serial multiple
> Although most women claim that they cannot achieve this awesome ride, a multiple orgasm occurs when several orgasms are had in a row -- that is, one directly after another.
> 
> *3.* Sequential multiple
> Sequential orgasms occur in a sequence that separates each orgasm by a few minutes or so. Many women describe it as a roller coaster ride.
Click to expand...


----------



## rush

SA just to mention, my wife is 50, menopausal and sex is better now than ever, more frequent and open


----------



## vellocet

Mrs. John Adams said:


> hmmm over 20...my john is quite large and never hits my g spot...how do you make that happen?


I've found, with my current gf anyway, that I can't put it all the way in. I have pretty good mushroom head, and if I put it in all the way, it passes up her G. So I put it in about 2 inches and work it from there.


----------



## ConanHub

Thanks for the responses, over20, Mrs John, and SA.

I will check out those resources.
This will probably be thread jacking so sorry.

Last month I got Mrs Conan really worked up and then "took" her, holding her wrists down by her sides and pinned to the bed.
She almost immediately started breathing hard, moaning and within a minute, her eyes dilated, it felt like she fluctuated down there, and her entire body broke out in goose bumps.

Could that have been an O that she didn't recognize because it wasn't clitoral?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## treyvion

snerg said:


> I'm the opposite with my SO. She never gives out the BJ so I just stopped eating at the Y - I also became tired of doing all the work.


So then what happened? Did that fall off?

There are people who are so selfish they don't want to feel like they are expending an effort on your behalf.


----------



## treyvion

vellocet said:


> I've found, with my current gf anyway, that I can't put it all the way in. I have pretty good mushroom head, and if I put it in all the way, it passes up her G. So I put it in about 2 inches and work it from there.


With some of them you can't and with some of them, if you try to put it in, you will be met with discomfort of your own  So it's not all fun and games.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

My husband and I's favorite position is when we are laying side by side.

He is on his side, and I'm kind of on my back. My top leg goes over his side, and my bottom leg goes in between his. 

He can thrust and do manual at the same time. It makes for great orgasms! These PIV orgasms feel different, but I still need a little clitoral stimulation to get me there, even if it's just pressure.


----------



## samyeagar

When my STBW and I started dating, I went down on her on our second date. I didn't know it at the time, but she was pretty internally conflicted. Lots of thoughts going through her head. The normal ones, am I clean enough, do I smell, will he like the way I am groomed, how I look, taste, all that. Of course she was also wondering if I was going to be any good. She also later admitted that she had always had a very difficult time O'ing with oral, and didn't want to take forever, me get bored, feel bad about myself. She almost stopped me from even trying, but she was also very intrigued and impressed that I went there so naturally, without hesitation. She decided to give me a chance. She came within five minutes. She still brings that first time up occasionally and half jokingly, half seriously says that moment right there was when she decided she was never going to let me go. Since then, O'ing through oral for her is a given.

As far as PIV goes, when we were talking about sex before we started to date, she knew that the PIV O is important to some men, so she made sure to let me know that she was one of those women who could not go through PIV, though she had discovered her G spot a few years earlier. This really didn't bother me, and I really didn't give it a second thought until one night after we had been dating about six months, she had her first ever PIV O. Since then, she has PIV O's about half of the time, and has even squirted.

In her prior relationships, orgasms of any type happened about 50% of the time, and she had to be in very specific positions to even have a chance, but with us, she has become a pretty prolific orgasmer, any position, any time, and so it makes it pretty difficult to pin point what it is we have done to get her over the various edges she had always stopped at before.


----------



## Bushman1972

I love giving oral and pleasuring a woman. I don't get those men who don't. Just my 2 cents.


----------



## CharlieParker

SimplyAmorous said:


> Well at least I am not the only one. ...and your wife was not a repressed one - yet still -it wasn't her thing.. makes me feel just a little bit normal to *the why's* I wasn't into it way back...
> 
> Oh dreading menopause , I just don't want that to happen... Oh how frustrating it will be -for the both of us.


Don't want thread jack and I''m a few months from doing a real update so I'll just say I/we are in a good place now. She certainly has to be in the right frame of mind to O but in accepting that she won't always we both have been become more open to new/different things.


----------



## keeper63

Mrs. JA - If you are anything like my wife, she finds it much easier to have a G-spot/vaginal orgasm if she has had a few clitoral ones first.

Once she has clitoral orgasms, I can use my fingers to rub her G-spot (It gets much larger, spongier, and sensitive after clitoral orgasms), I can give her PIV, or she can use a G-spot vibe to have vaginal orgasms. Having a few (or many) clitoral orgasms first is the key.

G-spot orgasms also tend to be "wetter" than the clitoral variety as well.

Like you mentioned before, practice makes perfect, and trying is always fun!


----------



## I Notice The Details

Bushman1972 said:


> I love giving oral and pleasuring a woman. I don't get those men who don't. Just my 2 cents.


BushMan....you name says it all!!!!!!!!!!! :rofl:

I would classify myself as a "bushman" as well. :smthumbup:


----------



## Bushman1972

I Notice The Details said:


> BushMan....you name says it all!!!!!!!!!!! :rofl:
> 
> I would classify myself as a "bushman" as well. :smthumbup:


Hehe it's just that I live in the Country. But I do see the funny side of my avatar name!


----------



## AZman

I enjoy oral (giving and receiving). My W enjoys giving but is apprehensive about receiving, it is a mental thing for her not physical. She enjoys it when it happens (which is rare). I am not sure what the mental block is for her, she has always had it and I have known her for 12 years it has gotten better but still there for her. Sadly she isn't into foreplay, she has zero patience.


----------



## Leon

I used to love the intimacy of performing oral on my wife, but after her PA I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. It's been almost 4 years since her PA and she's stopped asking for it but It angers me sometimes because I used to love oral with her. I could camp between her legs all night. I feel cheated, Maybe someday I'll get over it.


----------



## larry.gray

Leon said:


> I used to love the intimacy of performing oral on my wife, but after her PA I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. It's been almost 4 years since her PA and she's stopped asking for it but It angers me sometimes because I used to love oral with her. I could camp between her legs all night. I feel cheated, Maybe someday I'll get over it.


Did you marry a virgin or had she been with other men before you married her?


----------



## I Notice The Details

I can't imagine a man NOT wanting to give his wife such intimate oral pleasure. Just seeing my wife so turned on is part of why I LOVE to give her oral orgasms whenever she wants them.


----------



## NewHubs

I Notice The Details said:


> I can't imagine a man NOT wanting to give his wife such intimate oral pleasure. Just seeing my wife so turned on is part of why I LOVE to give her oral orgasms whenever she wants them.


I'm with Notice (again) it is such a CRIME for a guy to NOT go down on his wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ankh

A capital offence even.


----------



## I Notice The Details

ankh said:


> A capital offence even.


:iagree: 1000000000000000%


----------



## LostViking

AZman said:


> I enjoy oral (giving and receiving). My W enjoys giving but is apprehensive about receiving, it is a mental thing for her not physical. She enjoys it when it happens (which is rare). I am not sure what the mental block is for her, she has always had it and I have known her for 12 years it has gotten better but still there for her. Sadly she isn't into foreplay, she has zero patience.


I think some women have never learned to love their Vs. 

I think we guys are more comfortable with our rods because we use them every day, give them names, etc.


----------



## solvency7

You should give in hope to receive. That's my route lol


----------



## I Notice The Details

LostViking said:


> I think some women have never learned to love their Vs.
> 
> I think we guys are more comfortable with our rods because we use them every day, give them names, etc.


There is A LOT of truth to both of these two statements above!


----------



## okeydokie

I don't give my wife oral anymore, cause we don't have sex. But even toward the end of our intimacy I stopped because she let it grow out, like way too much. I took it as a hint, no other justification for it that I know of. She would trim it to go to the gyno, so I took the hint


----------



## solvency7

Yeah rainforest is a no no


----------



## I Notice The Details

okeydokie said:


> I don't give my wife oral anymore, cause we don't have sex. But even toward the end of our intimacy I stopped because she let it grow out, like way too much. I took it as a hint, no other justification for it that I know of. She would trim it to go to the gyno, so I took the hint


Could you offer to trim it for her and have some fun doing it...maybe after a full body massage?


----------



## okeydokie

I Notice The Details said:


> Could you offer to trim it for her and have some fun doing it...maybe after a full body massage?


Used to do that years ago, she didn't seem to mind. That's why I know its a hint, she knows I don't like the big bushy


----------



## ankh

*Re: Re: Men who don't like giving oral*



I Notice The Details said:


> Could you offer to trim it for her and have some fun doing it...maybe after a full body massage?


Who in his right mind would let a little hair stand between him and heaven? Crawl through the jungle and find that forbidden fruit and then EAT IT.


----------



## I Notice The Details

How about bringing in the Weedeater? :rofl:

Kidding.....I feel bad for you not being able to give her oral. It is definitely one of the most pleasurable things in the world to do!


----------



## okeydokie

ankh said:


> Who in his right mind would let a little hair stand between him and heaven? Crawl through the jungle and find that forbidden fruit and then EAT IT.


I would, there's lint and junk in there


----------



## okeydokie

What smart, mostly healthy sexually interested grown woman would let herself grow out like a Mexican sage when she knows her sexually interested husband doesn't like it? I know, an uninterested in sex smart mostly healthy grown woman


----------



## treyvion

LostViking said:


> I think some women have never learned to love their Vs.
> 
> I think we guys are more comfortable with our rods because we use them every day, give them names, etc.


"... use them every day". 

Theres a good deal of TAM guys who use their rods for nothing other than urination, for years on end. What about them?


----------



## LostViking

ankh said:


> Who in his right mind would let a little hair stand between him and heaven? Crawl through the jungle and find that forbidden fruit and then EAT IT.



Bring a machete...


----------



## vellocet

ankh said:


> Who in his right mind would let a little hair stand between him and heaven? Crawl through the jungle and find that forbidden fruit and then EAT IT.


It might not be his thing. Anyway, he said the sex pretty much stopped. 

But if a woman wants a man to go down, then is it too much to ask to keep it trimmed? Besides a bunch of hair in the way, a gigantic bush is just damn unattractive, well, to me anyway


----------



## TheCuriousWife

My husband has been going down a couple times more recently.

He usually is down there for less than 10 seconds to lubricate the area before manual. So I'm not sure you can even count that as oral? :scratchhead:

We were watching a show last night that mentioned guys either getting a blue ribbon after his "pie eating contest" or guys who gave up to early. 

I asked him which one he thought he was and he said he'd get a blue ribbon... 

I gently reminded him he has never finished me that way, and that he doesn't stay down there long enough to try because he doesn't like it. 

He said it was because I "can't finish that way."

Well duh. Because you've never been down there more than a couple minutes. 

It sparked a conversation about it for a little bit, but I don't think he got anything from it. Sigh.


----------



## Jellybeans

I Notice The Details said:


> Could you offer to trim it for her and have some fun doing it...maybe after a full body massage?


I love your practicality and cleverness. Haha.



ankh said:


> *Who in his right mind would let a little hair stand between him and heaven? *


This may be one of the best things I have ever read on TAM.

:rofl: :smthumbup:


----------



## Code-Welder

TheCuriousWife said:


> My husband has been going down a couple times more recently.
> 
> He usually is down there for less than 10 seconds to lubricate the area before manual. So I'm not sure you can even count that as oral? :scratchhead:
> 
> We were watching a show last night that mentioned guys either getting a blue ribbon after his "pie eating contest" or guys who gave up to early.
> 
> I asked him which one he thought he was and he said he'd get a blue ribbon...
> 
> I gently reminded him he has never finished me that way, and that he doesn't stay down there long enough to try because he doesn't like it.
> 
> He said it was because I "can't finish that way."
> 
> Well duh. Because you've never been down there more than a couple minutes.
> 
> It sparked a conversation about it for a little bit, but I don't think he got anything from it. Sigh.


Does he seem to know what he is doing when he is down there? Or does he just seem to just lick for lack of a better description? Oral on a woman does take some skill and time to learn the right spots. DDW was not afraid to softly help me find all her right spots. Do you ever talk to him and help him while he is down there? You could just grab him by the ears and hold him in place he might get the hint.


----------



## Thunder7

TheCuriousWife said:


> My husband has been going down a couple times more recently.
> 
> He usually is down there for less than 10 seconds to lubricate the area before manual. So I'm not sure you can even count that as oral? :scratchhead:
> 
> We were watching a show last night that mentioned guys either getting a blue ribbon after his "pie eating contest" or guys who gave up to early.
> 
> I asked him which one he thought he was and he said he'd get a blue ribbon...
> 
> I gently reminded him he has never finished me that way, and that he doesn't stay down there long enough to try because he doesn't like it.
> 
> He said it was because I "can't finish that way."
> 
> Well duh. Because you've never been down there more than a couple minutes.
> 
> It sparked a conversation about it for a little bit, but I don't think he got anything from it. Sigh.


I feel for you CW. I like to play a game with my wife wherein I go downtown fully intent on getting her off, while she tries her best to hold back because she likes to finish PIV style. Sometimes I'll tell her to just let go and enjoy it. But, usually I'll go until she can't stand it any longer, then give her a huge PIV orgasm. It's funny because she says she doesn't like when I'm doing all the 'work'. It's not work when you love what you're doing.


----------



## vellocet

TheCuriousWife said:


> I gently reminded him he has never finished me that way, and that he doesn't stay down there long enough to try because he doesn't like it.


Did you ask him why he doesn't like it?


----------



## TheCuriousWife

He is not too great at it. But I wouldn't tell him that. 

Right now I just try to be encouraging whenever he tries it. 

I think if he did it more, he would get better at it. Just like he is a lot better at manual than when he first started. lol

I make sure to give him extra love and praise when he goes down on me. Hoping if he gets an ego boost, he will try it more often.

I've asked him over and over why he doesn't like it, and he just says "he does like it."

He's crazy.


----------



## rush

I bought she comes first and satisfaction,,,,good books on this subjest


----------



## love=pain

I have never understood a man who doesn't want to get his woman as hot as possible, the more fun she is having the more fun you will have.
If you want to climb on and finish vanilla sex then fine but don't complain about the lack of interest from your woman. If I want to have an orgasm then she should have one(or 20) as well it is only fair, one of the hottest things in the bedroom is to hear a woman in the throes of an orgasm and to know you are the one who made her that way.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

rush said:


> I bought she comes first and satisfaction,,,,good books on this subjest


We have she comes first.

He flipped through it maybe once. 

I've read it several times, but I try not to anymore because it just depresses me that I'm not getting any.


----------



## love=pain

TheCuriousWife said:


> We have she comes first.
> 
> He flipped through it maybe once.
> 
> I've read it several times, but I try not to anymore because it just depresses me that I'm not getting any.


Hate to say it but the seed of infidelity grows just like this, I would never say it's right but when one partner refuses to even acknowledge the other's needs well bad things can happen.


----------



## I Notice The Details

TheCuriousWife said:


> We have she comes first.
> 
> He flipped through it maybe once.
> 
> I've read it several times, but I try not to anymore because it just depresses me that I'm not getting any.


Hi CuriousWife.

I have a book titled "How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure" from Lou Paget. As a man, I think it is an awesome book, and have read it and highlighted things in it several times. I also love to practice what I read on my loving wife! She has no complaints.

Are you, or better yet, is your husband familiar with this book?


----------



## TheCuriousWife

I Notice The Details said:


> Hi CuriousWife.
> 
> I have a book titled "How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure" from Lou Paget. As a man, I think it is an awesome book, and have read it and highlighted things in it several times. I also love to practice what I read on my loving wife! She has no complaints.
> 
> Are you, or better yet, is your husband familiar with this book?


I have not heard of it, but I will look it up! Thanks for the suggestion!


----------



## vellocet

Keep it clean, keep it trimmed. Only thing I ask if I am to give my gf oral pleasure.


----------



## spanz

this same question came up on a sex site, and after 50 pages of responses, it was running 90% love oral, 10% did not. Of the 10% that did not, it boiled down to feeling the ***** was not clean enough, so maybe after a good bath many of them would too. 

What surprised a lot of the women was how many absolutely LOVED the taste of a wet *****.


----------



## happy as a clam

Curious,

I've read this entire thread, and in almost all of your posts, you appear to be almost joking about it, dropping hints to your husband, eye rolling, or asking him over and over why he won't "stay down there" longer. You are also playing games by withholding BJs.

This really is not that difficult. You simply sit the man down, look him directly in the eyes (make sure he is looking at you so he realizes how important this is to you) and you tell him directly what you want. "I need more oral sex. I want it more frequently, and you are not meeting my needs. I have no intentions of going through the rest of the marriage, begging, needling, cajoling for oral sex. If you are unwilling to do this, it's a deal breaker for me." Depending on his answer, you will have some decisions to make. And if he does take you up on it and starts giving oral sex, tell him exactly what feels good (and exactly what doesn't) so he can naturally improve his technique and make it enjoyable for both of you.

What is so hard about that?


----------



## happy as a clam

One more thing... the only thing worse than NO oral sex (in my opinion) is BAD oral sex... !!!

I once had a partner who was happy to go down... but I swear, he did this weird "nibbling-flicking" thing. It reminded me of a little bunny wiggling its nose, I couldn't get into it at all!! :scratchhead: It tickled and was downright annoying after a few minutes. Personally, I like a man to use his whole mouth, lips, tongue, and some pressure! Get into it, put some soul into it!

So not only does your husband need to perform, he really needs to learn what pleasures you and put his heart into it.

Otherwise, its just a nibbling bunny :rofl: Sorry, couldn't resist that...


----------



## I Notice The Details

That is good advice....men need to learn exactly how to make their women's "clam" happy!


----------



## spanz

happy as a clam said:


> One more thing... the only thing worse than NO oral sex (in my opinion) is BAD oral sex... !!!
> 
> I once had a partner who was happy to go down... but I swear, he did this weird "nibbling-flicking" thing. It reminded me of a little bunny wiggling its nose, I couldn't get into it at all!! :...


And who's fault is that? In one simple minute you could have instructed him *exactly how you wanted it done. * Do ALL women think their men are mind readers?


----------



## rush

agreed, but the wife has to be able to tell the husband this....not all will.


----------



## happy as a clam

spanz said:


> And who's fault is that? In one simple minute you could have instructed him *exactly how you wanted it done. *


Well you see spanz, I did offer suggestions for EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT DONE. But in my opinion, it's kind of like kissing. Some people are just d*** good at kissing, while others are not. Sure, you can try to instruct on how to be a better kisser, but in the end if they drool or choke you with their tongue, it just ends up being unenjoyable. No different with oral sex. Some people just don't do it as well as others.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## thummper

thummper said:


> Happy, I have to say that I love giving oral! IMO there's not much else that a man could offer his lady that is so special and bonding. It (along with anal) is the loveliest thing you can share with each other. There is soooo much I like about it. Someone once described it as "a feast for all my senses.," and that is so true. It's a very special and secret area of her body that she has reserved just for me and no one else. She trusts me "down there" and that makes me feel so very special. She knows I would never hurt her and that I'm in tune with her needs and I want to make her feel loved and cherished, as a lover should be treated. When she climaxes, I feel even more like a man in that I've been able to give her such pleasure. I can't praise it enough.


----------



## I Notice The Details

Thumper....that sounds awesome and exactly how I feel as well. It truly is a feast for all my senses too! Great description. 

It is one of my favorite things in the world to do...and once we get started, my wife puts her hands above her head, closes her eyes, and lays back totally surrendering her beautiful womanhood...just anticipating all that is to come!!!! 

It is an incredible feeling for BOTH of us.


----------



## spanz

happy as a clam said:


> Well you see spanz, I did offer suggestions for EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT DONE. But in my opinion, it's kind of like kissing. Some people are just d*** good at kissing, while others are not. Sure, you can try to instruct on how to be a better kisser, but in the end if they drool or choke you with their tongue, it just ends up being unenjoyable. No different with oral sex. Some people just don't do it as well as others.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


good for u. You are one of the good ones then! 

It IS a jungle down there, need a trail map! lol


----------



## Jellybeans

thummper said:


> Happy, I have to say that I love giving oral! IMO there's not much else that a man could offer his lady that is so special and bonding. It (along with anal) is the loveliest thing you can share with each other. There is soooo much I like about it. Someone once described it as "a feast for all my senses.," and that is so true. It's a very special and secret area of her body that she has reserved just for me and no one else. She trusts me "down there" and that makes me feel so very special. When she climaxes, I feel even more like a man in that I've been able to give her such pleasure. I can't praise it enough.





I Notice The Details said:


> Thumper....that sounds awesome and exactly how I feel as well. It truly is a feast for all my senses too! Great description.
> 
> It is one of my favorite things in the world to do...and once we get started, my wife puts her hands above her head, closes her eyes, and lays back totally surrendering her beautiful womanhood...just anticipating all that is to come!!!!
> 
> It is an incredible feeling for BOTH of us.


Haha. You guys rock! I am sure your wives are VERY happy! There is nothing sexier than a man who gets super into it with his lady love.


:smthumbup:


----------



## arbitrator

Jellybeans said:


> Haha. You guys rock! I am sure your wives are VERY happy! There is nothing sexier than a man who gets super into it with his lady love.
> 
> 
> :smthumbup:


*M'dear: I really cannot help but think that it is really supposed to be within the true parameters of our masculine job description!

For the vast majority of us guys, we just seem to be be so innately and biologically programmed for it!*


----------



## Jellybeans

arbitrator said:


> M'dear: I really cannot help but think that it is really supposed to be within the true parameters of our masculine job description!


Hehe. This is why I do not understand men who aren't into it! HAHA. Or maybe I've just been super blessed to never having really had one as a lover.


----------



## arbitrator

Jellybeans said:


> Or maybe* I've just been super blessed to never having really had one as a lover.*




*Maybe I'm just reading you wrong by your response. But blessed? Or cursed?

In my minds eye, you are truly blessed if all of your lovers absolutely can't wait to go South; Conversely, you are preeminently cursed if they don't!

But I'm largely assuming the former!
*


----------



## Jellybeans

No, I meant, I've never had a great lover who didn't want to GO THERE.

(also, I would never keep one around who didn't want to GO THERE).

 Sorry I wrote that kinda funny.

IT IS A BLESSING if he is a vagina worshipper, DUH and luckily, this is what I've mostly experienced.

Yaaaay for me! WINNING!


----------



## ocotillo

happy as a clam said:


> Well you see spanz, I did offer suggestions for EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT DONE. But in my opinion, it's kind of like kissing. Some people are just d*** good at kissing, while others are not. Sure, you can try to instruct on how to be a better kisser, but in the end if they drool or choke you with their tongue, it just ends up being unenjoyable. No different with oral sex. Some people just don't do it as well as others.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know as a man, that a lot of other men just do not process words very well in their head. And I'm not sure if doing it right and doing it well can even be expressed in words.  

For any woman whose husband is a total klutz down there, it would probably help him much more to put your mouth on his stomach or nipple and show him without using words.

My wife wants me to use teeth when she gets really wound up, but I had the hardest time doing this because it seems like such a tender part of the body....


----------



## Thunder7

Jellybeans said:


> Haha. You guys rock! I am sure your wives are VERY happy! There is nothing sexier than a man who gets super into it with his lady love.
> 
> 
> :smthumbup:


It is definitely at the top of my 'most favorite things to do list'. Just wish I got to do it more often.


----------



## happy as a clam

ocotillo said:


> For any woman whose husband is a total klutz down there, it would probably help him much more to put your mouth on his stomach or nipple and show him without using words.


This is excellent advice. This would clearly demonstrate the technique and amount of pressure that a woman likes.

I suppose this is no different though for a man who doesn't get satisfying BJs from his woman. We all hear stories from guys (guys feel free to jump in here) about old girlfriends who gave spectacular BJs, and now they're stuck with a partner who gives lousy BJs. How do you turn someone into a BJ-loving machine? They're either into or they're not.

I guess i just believe that some people are better at lovemaking than others... (sure I'm gonna get flamed here)


----------



## Thunder7

happy as a clam said:


> I guess i just believe that some people are better at lovemaking than others... (sure I'm gonna get flamed here)


I don't see why. I think you're right. I think it has to do with whether or not you are, or work at, being in tune with your partner. If you pay attention to your partners unspoken cues and put their needs and wants ahead of your on, you will be a better lover (always hated that word). But, if you're in it just for yourself, and what you can get out of it, you are destined to be lousy at it. 

BTW, in the 'One word to described your partner' thread, my wife described me as 'attentive'. So I guess I'm doing OK in the bedroom department.


----------



## RandomDude

TheCuriousWife said:


> Men, is there anyone here that doesn't like giving oral?
> 
> If so, what are the reasons you don't like it?
> 
> Thanks!


Honestly?

And I'm not implying anything, however I would say the only thing that could possibly turn me off it is:

- 'Cheese'
- Messy pubs
- Time of the month
- Demands

Otherwise I love it


----------



## arbitrator

Jellybeans said:


> No, I meant, I've never had a great lover who didn't want to GO THERE.
> 
> (also, I would never keep one around who didn't want to GO THERE).
> 
> Sorry I wrote that kinda funny.
> 
> IT IS A BLESSING if he is a vagina worshipper, DUH and luckily, this is what I've mostly experienced.
> 
> Yaaaay for me! WINNING!


*And the same goes for us guys, too! It is more than a preeminent blessing to have a loving unselfish woman in our lives who is not afraid or alarmed to go South on us!

It's nothing more than the most loving act of kindness that one loving partner can absolutely bestow upon the other! Totally!

And to paraphrase 1940's Band Leader and Crooner Phil Harris, "That's What I Like About the South!"*


----------



## Thunder7

RandomDude said:


> - Demands


Not sure about that one. If my wife said, 'Get down there and lick my *****', my response would be an enthusiastic 'yes ma'am'.


----------



## Jellybeans

happy as a clam said:


> I suppose this is no different though for a man who doesn't get satisfying BJs from his woman. We all hear stories from guys (guys feel free to jump in here) about old girlfriends who gave spectacular BJs, and now they're stuck with a partner who gives lousy BJs.* How do you turn someone into a BJ-loving machine? *They're either into or they're not.


What constitutes as a "lousy" BJ? Can someone like giving them and sucking at it (hehe, no pun intended, no, really). Are you saying that spectacular BJs are only from those who love it or what are you saying here? I am confused.

I will be honest: in my marriage I didn't give them too much in the beginning but over time I became obsessed with it and did it all the time for my husband. Sometimes i would tell hi, NO NO when he tried the "your turn" because it was such a turn on for me to just do him.

I do agree that people are either into it or not. I could not personally stay with a man who didn't want to do it (go down on me. A lot.)


----------



## arbitrator

RandomDude said:


> Honestly?
> 
> And I'm not implying anything, however I would say the only thing that could possibly turn me off it is:
> 
> - 'Cheese'
> - Messy pubs
> - Time of the month
> - Demands
> 
> Otherwise I love it


*And it's pretty much the same way if we guys don't make an honest effort to try to keep ourselves just as clean and appealing down there for our better halves as they do for us!*


----------



## naiveonedave

don't get this thread at all. I love giving and recieveing too much.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Jellybeans said:


> What constitutes as a "lousy" BJ? Can someone like giving them and sucking at it (hehe, no pun intended, no, really). Are you saying that spectacular BJs are only from those who love it or what are you saying here? I am confused.
> 
> I will be honest: in my marriage I didn't give them too much in the beginning but over time I became obsessed with it and did it all the time for my husband. Sometimes i would tell hi, NO NO when he tried the "your turn" because it was such a turn on for me to just do him.
> 
> I do agree that people are either into it or not. I could not personally stay with a man who didn't want to do it (go down on me. A lot.)


I think the quality of a BJ depends on three things... whether she is into it, and whether she willingly adjusts to what works for him, and how much effort she puts into it. My experience is that the bjs I haven't enjoyed were the result of her not really wanting to do them and therefore being timid or even somewhat grossed out - but she wants to be able to say she gives them; or what she's doing just isn't getting it for me and she doesn't really adjust to my feedback. No matter what I say, it will be the same "meh" bj next time. I suppose there's also the problem with those who want it over as quickly as possible. She wants it over with quickly, so she goes at it hard and fierce right off the bat, but for a short time - the bj then turns to crap because she's tired and you can tell she's irritated that its not done yet.

IMO someone good at them enjoys giving them, adjusts to what he enjoys, mixes in changes of pace with steady rhythms, brings you up and puts you down, has decent endurance or at least commitment to doing it, involves her hands - one on the bj and the other wandering... and enjoys giving them. Yes, I said that last one twice. We can tell whether you really enjoy it, and its that nuanced behavior that takes good physical quality and puts it into the stratosphere.

Those who like giving them, typically experiment more and perfect their technique to suit whoever they're with.

I think the most common mistakes are thinking you have to do everything with your mouth, not salivating enough, being a jackhammer right off the bat, or emphasizing swirly tongue movement because head bobbing is tiresome.


----------



## Jellybeans

Thanks for 'splaining.


----------



## Jellybeans

naiveonedave said:


> *don't get this thread* at all. I love giving and recieveing* too much*.


:rofl:


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

I made a couple updates as some other things came to mind.


----------



## arbitrator

*I've had some lousy BJ's that were so bad that I'd probably get far more satisfaction by just wanking alone. It's greatly like some guy whose going down, rather unenthusiastically, on his girl.

For it to really mean something, it has to be given unselfishly. My biggest fear is that while there are certain folks out there that won't do it, at the same time they don't even give a flip about learning how to begin to satisfy their partners desires!

Just so long as they get theirs is all that really counts!*


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

From my conversations, I think guys who are unwilling, lazy or poor at giving head are far more common than women who are. Most women I've been with seem pretty eager to please and kinda get off on how much I enjoy what they're doing.

The most common lousy bjs are from the few women overly concerned with "icky". But c'mon... women are probably more tolerant of body parts, smells and fluids than most men. Look at the diaper changing ratio for virtually any couple with a baby. lol


----------



## JimInCT

W wants nothing to do with it. And going down on me is out of the question too.

It sucks. Pun intended.


----------



## thummper

:rofl: Like this one!


----------



## CuddleBug

I love giving oral to my wifee, when she allows it and that isn't often. I have to almost force myself down on her, holding her arms to the sides and then she relents and loves it. She fights it at first but after I start, she relaxes and loves it.

Only reason I wouldn't go down on her, she hasn't had a shower or bath after work. Not clean shaven. There could be a strong odor and that doesn't turn me on, sorry.

I expect her to be clean, shaven and no strong odor. Then I will go crazy down there, getting my tongue right in there, using the small vib at the same time or she uses it on herself. No time limit for me either. Could be 5 minutes or 20+ minutes. After she has her orgasm, she immediately wants me in her and to climax. Ideally, she wants us to climax at the same time. That's why when she is about to orgasm, she pulls me up and wants me in her now and aggressive. I also am clean and fresh smelling if she is going to give me a BJ to completion.

I would love 69 with me on top and she deep throats me.....


----------



## thummper

God, you two make me wish I was home with my wife right now.


----------



## happy as a clam

I Notice The Details said:


> That is good advice....men need to learn exactly how to make their women's "clam" happy!


Just saw this post, Details... so true, so true!!! Nothing better than your male partner making your "clam" happy!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Just want to add (sorry for TMI) my clam is HAPPY today!!! :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


----------



## I Notice The Details

happy as a clam said:


> Just saw this post, Details... so true, so true!!! Nothing better than your male partner making your "clam" happy!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:
> 
> Just want to add (sorry for TMI) my clam is HAPPY today!!! :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


That is awesome! It has been my experience that women with happy clams tend to smile a lot!


----------



## 312cpl

I never know what is TMI here and what isn't?!?

I consider myself a V worshipper!! My W dips her fingers in herself and puts them under my nose for me to smell, and I am ready to go instantly!! She does this a few times, each time I lick her fingers. I am in heaven when I smell her V. I do not like her freshly showered, a courtesy wipe is nice. I like her trimmed but not too trimmed because it holds her smell. V is a wonderful gift to man!


----------



## thummper

Whew, I'm sweating! Is it hot in here, or is it just me?  The word that comes to mind is, "Yum!"


----------



## cantthinkstraight

I remember being afraid of vaginas when I was a young teenager.
They were so scary to me and I had no idea what the hell I was 
doing whenever I did make it that far.

It wasn't until my freshman year in college that I wanted to learn more
and "master" the technique of giving oral sex to a woman.
I would read articles and books on pleasing a woman, because I
really wanted to give the current woman I was dating the best time
of her life and didn't want to disappoint her.

Years later, I now consider myself a master of giving oral sex. I tend to
wonder if I have an oral fixation. I've found it's a good way to loosen
your woman up, so to speak, before sex itself.

I'd say over half of the women I've given oral sex to have told me
it was the best they've ever had and I take great pride in that.

One even asked me afterwards if I was a gynecologist. 

Maybe I missed my calling?


----------



## larry.gray

cantthinkstraight said:


> One even asked me afterwards if I was a gynecologist.
> 
> Maybe I missed my calling?


Nah... it would be bad for two reasons:

1 - The beautiful women that come in and you can only peek and not enjoy further.

2 - The diseased and the nasty that still need help.


----------



## arbitrator

larry.gray said:


> Nah... it would be bad for two reasons:
> 
> 1 - The beautiful women that come in and you can only peek and not enjoy further.
> 
> 2 - The diseased and the nasty that still need help.


*More especially the latter group!*


----------



## PhillyGuy13

I have to say I like this almost more than sex now. Hated it when I was younger, like it was a chore. Bad experience with bad smells. 

The Wife showers and shaves before bed almost every night. I could live down there. I got married friends who hate doing it and refuse to. Don't understand what they don't like about it. Assuming wife is well groomed.

My wife isn't the greatest with giving bjs. But if we 69, while I am down on her it makes the bj hundred times better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TheCuriousWife

happy as a clam said:


> Curious,
> 
> I've read this entire thread, and in almost all of your posts, you appear to be almost joking about it, dropping hints to your husband, eye rolling, or asking him over and over why he won't "stay down there" longer. You are also playing games by withholding BJs.
> 
> This really is not that difficult. You simply sit the man down, look him directly in the eyes (make sure he is looking at you so he realizes how important this is to you) and you tell him directly what you want. "I need more oral sex. I want it more frequently, and you are not meeting my needs. I have no intentions of going through the rest of the marriage, begging, needling, cajoling for oral sex. If you are unwilling to do this, it's a deal breaker for me." Depending on his answer, you will have some decisions to make. And if he does take you up on it and starts giving oral sex, tell him exactly what feels good (and exactly what doesn't) so he can naturally improve his technique and make it enjoyable for both of you.
> 
> What is so hard about that?



Whoa. I didn't realize this thread came back from the dead.

I did sit down with him and told him exactly how it is. I can't remember how long ago that was now... A couple weeks maybe.

He did it a little more for a while. But he still doesn't do it very long. Claims his mouth gets tried. But at least he was trying so I didn't push it. I just encouraged him, and told him how I was glad that he was trying to fulfill my needs.

Then I got a bladder infection, and Period week. So it's been off the table for a while, hopefully he will get back to it soon. And sometime in the near future I pray I will have my first oral orgasm.


----------



## cantthinkstraight

TheCuriousWife said:


> Whoa. I didn't realize this thread came back from the dead.
> 
> I did sit down with him and told him exactly how it is. I can't remember how long ago that was now... A couple weeks maybe.
> 
> He did it a little more for a while. But he still doesn't do it very long. Claims his mouth gets tried. But at least he was trying so I didn't push it. I just encouraged him, and told him how I was glad that he was trying to fulfill my needs.
> 
> Then I got a bladder infection, and Period week. So it's been off the table for a while, hopefully he will get back to it soon. And sometime in the near future I pray I will have my first oral orgasm.



You've never had an orgasm from oral sex? Yikes.
That's sad to hear.

How's the communication between you two in the bedroom?
Does your H suffer from oral anxiety?
Do you not freshen up or shower prior to play time?

One of two things needs to happen... in my opinion of course.

You either need to talk him through it, so he's aware of what
you like and where to go or he needs to read up on the art of
oral sex. Perhaps it's lack of effort on both of you? Not sure, just asking.

I remember reading an article that mentioned not treating a
vagina like it's some glory hole that you ram the sh*t out of,
that there's different parts to it that give different sensations.
It went into great detail and I paid extra attention to it for the
sake of pleasing the woman I loved at the time.

It's not rocket science, but it does take some effort and "want to"
to gain confidence over time. Mental frustration (from either party)
can act as a huge hindrance when performing any sexual act,
so I just wonder if that's what's getting in the way of him being
able to bring you to climax.

If I don't bring a woman to climax within 10 minutes, I know I'm
doing something wrong. Good thing that never happens.

There's no better sound in this world than a woman having an orgasm.
When I'm able to get her to have one, I know I've done a good job
and I feel proud for pleasing the woman I'm with.

Very rewarding.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Curious, when hubs goes down, are you getting close and he tires out or is it not ramping up at all?


----------



## Thunder7

TheCuriousWife said:


> He did it a little more for a while. But he still doesn't do it very long. Claims his mouth gets tried.


He claims his mouth get tired. What? Wow. Ok, let's assume that's not just a lame excuse, which is a difficult assumption. Since I don't want to run the risk of TMI I will PM you with a suggestion, if that's ok.


----------



## rush

Thunder7 said:


> He claims his mouth get tired. What? Wow. Ok, let's assume that's not just a lame excuse, which is a difficult assumption. Since I don't want to run the risk of TMI I will PM you with a suggestion, if that's ok.


I need ideas too,,,believe me...


----------



## thummper

Speaking strictly for myself, my mouth NEVER gets sore. Too busy giving pleasure to worry about fatigue. :smthumbup:


----------



## paul72

Oral is easy and fun..... assuming

1 - You shave
2 - Your clean
3 - You dont taste horrible

Also, if you want a man to go oral more... just 69...... its an easy encouragement to keep him working


----------



## kymy

Having grown up with way more boys on my block to play with and grow up into teenagers with than girls, then being mom to three handsome popular boys in school way back then that dated a lot.......... right up until they tied the knott. Guys have fewer filters than women so of course over the years i have heard more than my fair share of locker room talk about sex. I know the answer to this question for majority of the guys and it's SMELL. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh but here's what I also observed too with these type guys along the way & from my whinny girlfriends who weren't getting there's. Pay attention ladies. Listen to what i'm about to say. IF A WOMAN IS FRESH FROM THE SHOWER and goes right to the bed and lays down and this same dude still isn't interested in some 69 foreplay of some sorts with her. TIME TO GET UP AND GET DRESSED and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE FAST. You are setting the stage for your entire relationship. And there's nothing more degrading than a selfish lover who refuses to try new things or try again to see if he likes it now. EGO **** GUYS seek out any and all encounters that come with the pretty sure deal of getting some oral before nights over...even when they have great girlfriends or wives at home that give better oral. Men need that constant chase going on. They need a lot of attention. Selfish guys need to grow up not f_ck up your head....so when you see it coming full speed ahead you should do yourself a huge favor and get yourself outta that dudes way.If a guy is really into a girl/woman a lot and thinks shes the one for him and he respects her, he will jump through hoops for her and try new things. That's how you tell the booty call from the potential wife. If it's lack of experience then you might need to add some rewards he really likes or just take his face and give him a grand guided tour down there.


----------



## happy as a clam

kymy said:


> ...or just take his face and give him a grand guided tour down there.


Amen, Brother!!!!!! :iagree::lol::iagree::lol::iagree:


----------



## TeR

TheCuriousWife said:


> Whoa. I didn't realize this thread came back from the dead.


And just in time too! My husband was about to get the BJ-Ban...

Our husbands have been cut from the same cloth...right down to the "I love doing that", but it's only happened a handful of times in 15 years.  In our 15 years, that man has not seen ONE month in which there was no BJ (and to completion mind you).

I choose to believe he's not all that confident about what he's doing down there (it hurts too much to believe he's being a selfish prick). I ENJOY pleasing him, but to a fault...I suppose. I get really hot making him "finish". But guess what? Now he's finished! :banghead: Sometimes...I'd like to finish too.

So I too have had a chat and _reminded_ him that I didn't give the best BJs when we got together, but I took the time to learn. Even had him watch a technique-video with me and tell me which techniques he wanted me to try on him.

He's surprised me twice in a 2-week period. Not sure if it was my pouting or not, but now he claims that watching me squirm & moan really got him going and he'd like to visit more often. ray: Only time will tell.

I feel your pain, Girlfriend. Hopefully their new found curiosity is a sign of things to come, but if mine falls off the wagon...you'd better believe I'm finding him a technique video for ME to choose from. You may want to get one ready too.


----------



## aston

TheCuriousWife said:


> Men, is there anyone here that doesn't like giving oral?
> 
> If so, what are the reasons you don't like it?
> 
> Thanks!


Only when it smells like a fishermans boot!


----------



## Mstanton

It depends on the Woman, some women... are tasteless, some are delicious and some women are extremely fragrant... it's almost like a rotted fish odor. 

So for me it depends on the woman. Oh, and, you can have a very smelly vagina and be very clean, in fact, using soap on the vagina can lead to a very bad smell... compensatory bacteria.


----------



## brokeneric

Mstanton said:


> It depends on the Woman, some women... are tasteless, some are delicious and some women are extremely fragrant... it's almost like a rotted fish odor.
> 
> So for me it depends on the woman. Oh, and, you can have a very smelly vagina and be very clean, in fact, using soap on the vagina can lead to a very bad smell... compensatory bacteria.


:iagree: Women vary in taste also.

My wife tasted like cocoa butter.


----------



## larry.gray

I recommend taking up lap swimming as an aid for cunnilingus. You can learn to get air in with short, fast breaths and slowly exhale.


----------



## Angela Goodnight

TheCuriousWife said:


> Men, is there anyone here that doesn't like giving oral?
> 
> If so, what are the reasons you don't like it?
> 
> Thanks!


What a negative question. I love cunnilingus and ensure that I am ready for it by trimming my pubic hair to about 5mm above my clit and removing it either side of my vulva. I drink plenty of fruit juice as that makes a nicer taste (it really works, especially for men for fellatio). I always wash my vulva before sex ensuring that I clean in all of my labia folds, my vestibule and take extra care to rinse with clean water. I also always urinate prior to sex as I sometimes quirt from oral.

My partner enjoys it, but also follows all the rules. If you want to know the rules read the book by Jane Tothree and Andy Macbeth called Oral Sex Orgasms - How To Give And Receive Them. This is well worth reading. My blog offers advice, too. 

If you don't enjoy cunnilingus it means there is something wrong with you or your lady is not keeping herself tasty for you. Tell her to read this answer!
:scratchhead:


----------



## daveca

I suppose being an older guy I'm used to pubic hair and I recently read somewhere it's making a comeback. I never had a problem with it when enjoying oral. It's simply a matter of parting it. 

Place two thumbs together directly over the vagina and move the thumbs apart. As others mentioned it has to be freshly showered.


----------



## hawx20

Mstanton said:


> It depends on the Woman, some women... are tasteless, some are delicious and some women are extremely fragrant... it's almost like a rotted fish odor.
> 
> So for me it depends on the woman. Oh, and, you can have a very smelly vagina and be very clean, in fact, using soap on the vagina can lead to a very bad smell... compensatory bacteria.


First let me say.....I have my head between my womans legs...how do you not love that!?!?!?!

I agree about taste. The first time I tried oral the girl I was with had a bad smell. Turned me off to doing it for a long time. I finally did it again with another girl and I loved it! Never wanted to stop. Luckily, every woman I've been with since has never had a problem with taste or smell.

My wife has no smell or taste and I love doing it, but she cant control herself very long which is a bummer for me.


----------



## arbitrator

hawx20 said:


> *but she can't control herself very long which is a bummer for me*.


*And your problem with that is?

I know that I can't really speak for you, but when a woman does that for me, it just gives me an insatiable high!*


----------



## 312cpl

I think if were a woman not receiving satisfactory oral sex on a regular basis, that I would cut off giving BJ's to him. Simple as that. I make sure she gets off orally almost as often as I do. That is her choice. 

I think the talk about showers and shaving is good hygiene and should always be done. And, I think a lot of people over-think about the odors. Friggan just do it. Once your down there for a while your saliva breaks down the taste and smell.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

I shave and shower before EVERY sexual event.

I do have a smell, but I know every woman does. I'm not sure if it is stronger or lighter than most. :scratchhead:

So maybe I just do smell horrible. I don't know. I don't think it is a bad smell or a particularly strong smell, but who knows what he thinks.

I know I don't taste bad. Because we make out after he's been down there, and I've given him blow jobs after PIV before. 

He only says that his mouth gets tired, or that he doesn't want to do it too often because, "it will make it less special." 

I used to orgasm in 20 minutes or less, the last couple months it's probably 30 - 45 minutes. I'm not sure why. So I know he could never do it for that long. But I wish he would get me close other ways then finish me with oral. 

I guess since I take so long I'm just destined to never have one that way.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

paul72 said:


> Oral is easy and fun..... assuming
> 
> 1 - You shave
> 2 - Your clean
> 3 - You dont taste horrible
> 
> Also, if you want a man to go oral more... just 69...... its an easy encouragement to keep him working


I'm all of the above.

I like 69, but I can't finish that way. I love giving him blow jobs, so I get too distracted when I'm working on him to relax and enjoy mine.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Curious, when hubs goes down, are you getting close and he tires out or is it not ramping up at all?


He doesn't stay down there long enough for it to start getting ramped out. 2 minutes for me is barely enough time to warm up.


----------



## NewHubs

I think my wife would divorce me if I didn't 

My wife keeps herself well groomed down there with the exception of a nice landing strip above her clit. Not too thick or thin...just right. Completely voided of hair in all the other places. When we are in the shower and I look down I instantly get hard because it looks so perfect 

She loves when I lay between her legs and I lightly press both her hands down on the bed. She can't really move and I'll occasionally look up and see her try to squirm. Although her moaning is the best I think


----------



## TheCuriousWife

NewHubs said:


> My wife keeps herself well groomed down there with the exception of a nice landing strip above her clit. Not too thick or thin...just right. Completely voided of hair in all the other places. When we are in the shower and I look down I instantly get hard because it looks so perfect


I have the same "landing strip." lol. 

I wish my husband would get hard just by looking at me.


----------



## Farj

Took a while, but I went through the whole thread. I've got a lot of the details, so here's a suggestion.

First I would highly recommend taking the advise mentioned earlier and instruct him using your mouth on his nipple. It might even be a good idea to have him practice on your nipple, so the pressure to perform isn't so high. You may not even want to tell him what you're teaching him at first. Just tell him this is what you want him to do to your nipple. Later, tell him to do the same thing when performing oral. 

When it seems like he's got the hang of it, start doing this:

Tell him you're going to try something different. Do your normal warm up first. Kissing, caressing, whatever you need. When you get to the point he would normally start stimulating you manually (or orally on those rare occasions), you start stimulating yourself. You can have him continue kissing you or caressing you, or if that is too distracting, just have him watch. When you get really close, then have him perform oral on you. Hopefully you will be able to climax this way. 

If it looks like you aren't going to make it, fake it. Normally, I would never recommend that a woman fake it, but in this case, you are trying to condition him. The reward really needs to be there. If after a couple of times faking it, if it isn't working, this may not be the solution for you.

If you successfully climax, repeat the process several times. After that, slowly start increasing the amount of time he has to work to get you to climax. 

You may never get to the point that he does it entirely on his own, but just finishing you orally is a partial victory.

Since he's young and impatient, this will help him out. If it's taking you 30-45 minutes to reach climax, do the first 25-40 minutes yourself. He might enjoy it more if it's not so hard to reach the reward. I'm betting he will love the show and as he gets older, he may get less impatient and less selfish. 

Remember to do this a little at a time. You are reconditioning him. If you push it too fast, it will not work.


----------



## rjd1488

does loser cum in to play here??!!
hair in your teeth bothers you?give me a break
and take a shower first?
i tend to think that im the shower
a woman would have to be desperate to sleep with you??
talk about give her a self esteem issue
do you jump off and in the shower the same second you unload??
the only time i back off is if they are like football players
and only shower after 4 periods
otherwise tough it up and be a man and satisfy your woman:banhim:












manticore said:


> Lol
> 
> okey, I dislike giving orals if it is the first time we have sex or if they are 100% natural in the lower zone (I mean, if they are not depilated down there).
> 
> why, hairs can stuck in your mouth (which is a big turn off) and smell, I have found that women who are not waxed down there, tend sometimes to have pee smell in their hairs (also a big turn off), I guess it can not be helped unless they take a shower before sex.
> 
> In the other hand with a proper waxed girl, I love to see their reaction while doing it (or hear it), but just before penetration, once that sex has begun I don't go down again.


----------



## hawx20

arbitrator said:


> *And your problem with that is?
> 
> I know that I can't really speak for you, but when a woman does that for me, it just gives me an insatiable high!*


The problem is I want to keep doing it to her longer!
Its a great problem to have though!

Seriously, the only time I dont like going down on her, or her to me, is when I know we are going to have passionate sex and will be doing heavy kissing.


----------



## I Notice The Details

TheCuriousWife said:


> I shave and shower before EVERY sexual event.
> 
> I do have a smell, but I know every woman does. I'm not sure if it is stronger or lighter than most. :scratchhead:
> 
> So maybe I just do smell horrible. I don't know. I don't think it is a bad smell or a particularly strong smell, but who knows what he thinks.
> 
> I know I don't taste bad. Because we make out after he's been down there, and I've given him blow jobs after PIV before.
> 
> He only says that his mouth gets tired, or that he doesn't want to do it too often because, "it will make it less special."
> 
> I used to orgasm in 20 minutes or less, the last couple months it's probably 30 - 45 minutes. I'm not sure why. So I know he could never do it for that long. But I wish he would get me close other ways then finish me with oral.
> 
> I guess since I take so long I'm just destined to never have one that way.



CW....your husband is ridiculous and should keep kissing you until you climax.

I don't understand men that don't take the time to please their wife like this. :scratchhead:


----------



## Anon Pink

I Notice The Details said:


> CW....your husband is ridiculous and should keep kissing you until you climax.
> 
> I don't understand men that don't take the time to please their wife like this. :scratchhead:


Neither do I. 

I don't understand women who place absurd restrictions on sex either. Frankly, I don't understand anyone who likes to orgasm, can orgasm, but turns one down more often then not.

In the last 10 years, I've said "not tonight" maybe 3 times!


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

TheCuriousWife said:


> He doesn't stay down there long enough for it to start getting ramped out. 2 minutes for me is barely enough time to warm up.


Gotcha. Tell him this and give him a time. Assuming he's not just selfish, he may feel like its not doing much for you and it hinders his enthusiasm. After that he might be thinking "Okay, this isn't doing much so... moving on..."

Tell him you want some real dedicated minimum time. If you get close he'll likely be happy to exceed it anyway. If you don't get off just consider it progress, don't be disappointed.

If he complains about his tongue getting tired, ask him to use more of his neck and even small upper body movements. If the head moves, the tongue moves. I'll often flatten out my tongue against my lower jaw and not move my tongue much at all - the overall head movement and jaw reinforcement allows me to provide more pressure over a broader area, which some prefer to focused clitoral flicks and licks - especially as she's ramping up and I'm past the point of nibbles. Also, let him explicitly know that its okay to catch his breath and extend his endurance by using fingers too. From what I've heard women say, some guys think this is a cop-out, and have a very "all or nothing" mentality. So once their mouth fatigued, its over.

Hopefully some of that is helpful to you.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

rjd1488 said:


> does loser cum in to play here??!!
> hair in your teeth bothers you?give me a break
> and take a shower first?
> i tend to think that im the shower
> a woman would have to be desperate to sleep with you??
> talk about give her a self esteem issue
> do you jump off and in the shower the same second you unload??
> the only time i back off is if they are like football players
> and only shower after 4 periods
> otherwise tough it up and be a man and satisfy your woman:banhim:


This is crap. If your puss is a stank mess, I ain't licking sh*t.

I clean and groom, and so will she if she wants my oral attention.


----------



## tornado

I just don't understand a man not wanting to put his mouth on he's wifes hot spot.


----------



## love=pain

TheCuriousWife said:


> I shave and shower before EVERY sexual event.
> 
> I do have a smell, but I know every woman does. I'm not sure if it is stronger or lighter than most. :scratchhead:
> 
> So maybe I just do smell horrible. I don't know. I don't think it is a bad smell or a particularly strong smell, but who knows what he thinks.
> 
> I know I don't taste bad. Because we make out after he's been down there, and I've given him blow jobs after PIV before.
> 
> He only says that his mouth gets tired, or that he doesn't want to do it too often because, "it will make it less special."
> 
> I used to orgasm in 20 minutes or less, the last couple months it's probably 30 - 45 minutes. I'm not sure why. So I know he could never do it for that long. But I wish he would get me close other ways then finish me with oral.
> 
> I guess since I take so long I'm just destined to never have one that way.


Perhaps it takes so long because you know he doesn't really enjoy it, the whole time he's down there that's running through your mind, how are you supposed to relax enjoy the event and let yourself go. As a man I know if I have a lot going on in my head I have trouble preforming don't think it's any different for a woman.

I hope your husband doesn't complain about vanilla sex(not saying you give it to him) cause if you don't take your time and twist a woman up you are more likely to get it or duty sex.

I want good, great, fantastic sex every time, don't think I am going to get it if I am not giving it, my best gets her best that simple. Sex is the best thing ever if you don't look forward to having it every chance you can something is wrong, and if a man isn't fulfilling (or trying very hard) his woman's sexual needs then he should turn in his badge.

**Bonus time- shaved, neatly trimmed or a 70's fro down there I don't care it's the sweetest pie I have ever had and I will have some no matter what the decoration.
I do like it showered and powdered however after a hard day at work my wife says it relaxes her faster than a glass of wine so cleaned up or not I will make it happen only leads to better things later anyhow.


----------



## Sanity

I absolutely love giving oral unless there is a smell. I used to have this GF awhile back that I loved very much and loved pleasing her, but she had a weird natural feminine odor that no matter how much hygiene she practiced, still lingered. It was such a mood killer so with great regret I would "overshoot the runway" and not service her. She was gorgeous but I guess you can't change body chemistry


----------



## JimInCT

TeR said:


> Our husbands have been cut from the same cloth...right down to the "I love doing that", but it's only happened a handful of times in 15 years.  In our 15 years, that man has not seen ONE month in which there was no BJ (and to completion mind you).


You're a good woman. You could teach my wife a lot of lessons. There's been a BJ ban all our marriage. 

Truly makes me wonder what I was thinking 21 years ago.


----------



## Jellybeans

JimInCT said:


> You're a good woman. You could teach my wife a lot of lessons. *There's been a BJ ban all our marriage. *
> 
> Truly makes me wonder what I was thinking *21 years* ago.


Wow.


----------



## Jellybeans

hawx20 said:


> Seriously, the only time I dont like going down on her, or her to me, is when I know we are going to have passionate sex and will be doing heavy kissing.


Does this mean you don't like to kiss her afterward (after going down).?

Btw, how do you guys feel about that? Kissing after going down on her?



tornado said:


> I just don't understand a man not wanting to put his mouth on he's wifes hot spot.


Me, tooooo! LOL

And a guy who is super into it = amazing. 

My ex used to tell me, "I could have that for breakfast, lunch and dinner." So sexy!


----------



## NewHubs

I remember the first time I went down on my wife (we were dating) I got so aroused that I came on my own. When I was done there was a giant wet spot from where I was laying ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Jellybeans said:


> Btw, how do you guys feel about that? Kissing after going down on her?


No issues here whether I've been down on her or she's been down on me.


----------



## love=pain

Jellybeans said:


> Does this mean you don't like to kiss her afterward (after going down).?
> 
> Btw, how do you guys feel about that? Kissing after going down on her?
> 
> My ex used to tell me, "I could have that for breakfast, lunch and dinner." So sexy!


I kiss my wife after she goes down on me except when I finish that way then no. 
I will go down on her then start piv the go back down and just keep switching back and forth drives her crazy, she loves it when I kiss her each time I come up for air.

And I concur with your ex I am always hungry for that, some times I think I like to go down on her more than piv sex sometimes lol but it is all good. nope scratch that it's all great.


----------



## I Notice The Details

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> No issues here whether I've been down on her or she's been down on me.


Same in our bedroom. :smthumbup:


----------



## 312cpl

if my wife is taking longer than normal to ramp up, I insert my index finger, slowly until all the way in. I move it in and out halfway and slowly while continuing to concentrate my mouth and tongue on her clitoris. That usually gets her over the hump to orgasm.


----------



## cantthinkstraight

The main issue that I see here is you two aren't communicating properly and 
something obviously needs to change if your needs aren't being met.

When you're in love with someone, you WANT to please them, regardless of
their taste, smell, tongue strength, spitting/swallowing habits, etc.
(thanks for the elicit details everyone).

If your needs aren't being met, then as a lover you should be able to discuss it
and (like a marriage) actually put the work in to make sure you're pleasing each other.

I told me ex before I even married her... I have an oral fixation, so be prepared.
If you don't enjoy giving head, then we'd better practice a lot because I often
enjoy it more than sex itself and refuse to be married to someone who doesn't
enjoy or know what the hell she's doing down there.

It's no different than being with someone who's a lousy cook. It takes time, patience,
communication and effort. Before you know it, both of you will be cooking some
pretty delicious meals together.


----------



## Jellybeans

MissFroggie said:


> I wouldn't go down on me....
> 
> But only coz I can't reach


:rofl: Good one, MissFroggie!



love=pain said:


> I will go down on her then start piv the go back down and just keep switching back and forth drives her crazy, she loves it when I kiss her each time I come up for air.
> 
> And I concur with your ex I am always hungry for that, some times I think I like to go down on her more than piv sex sometimes lol but it is all good. nope scratch that it's all great.


That's hot.



MissFroggie said:


> I don't really like 69 though. I can't afford to relax or allow myself to orgasm because I have to be careful not to clench my teeth by accident!!! That would NOT be good!!!!


Same here. It is physically impractical.


----------



## omgitselaine

MissFroggie said:


> I wouldn't go down on me....
> 
> But only coz I can't reach


Ohhh if only I could ....... ummmm I'm very sweet ohhhh soo I've been told wink wink !?!?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## over20

JimInCT said:


> You're a good woman. You could teach my wife a lot of lessons. There's been a BJ ban all our marriage.
> 
> Truly makes me wonder what I was thinking 21 years ago.


That's so sad. I feel sorry for you. Did she blow you before you were married?


----------



## rush

I tell my wife she tastes like sweet candy, and actually she does....geez!


----------



## arbitrator

*It's rather sad, folks! It greatly appears that the only oral that I'll be intricately involved in, at least on this particular Valentine's Day, will only be advice and commentary on this site!

Well, maybe Valentine's Day 2015 will bode far better!*


----------



## love=pain

arbitrator said:


> *It's rather sad, folks! It greatly appears that the only oral that I'll be intricately involved in, at least on this particular Valentine's Day, will only be advice and commentary on this site!*


Unfortunately me too as my wife is seeing red right now at least for 2 or 3 more days and while I have never during this time she wouldn't let me anyhow, I am sure we will have fun in other ways though.


----------



## CharlieParker

rush said:


> I tell my wife she tastes like sweet candy, and actually she does....geez!


My wife really does, being post menopausal a little lube is needed to get things going comfortably, so I use berry flavored.




arbitrator said:


> *It's rather sad, folks! It greatly appears that the only oral that I'll be intricately involved in, at least on this particular Valentine's Day, will only be advice and commentary on this site!*


Sorry to hear that.


----------



## Jellybeans

arbitrator said:


> *It's rather sad, folks! It greatly appears that the only oral that I'll be intricately involved in, at least on this particular Valentine's Day, will only be advice and commentary on this site!*


Aww. ::Gives Arbitrator a hug::


----------



## arbitrator

CharlieParker said:


>


*Charlie: Greatly reminds me of a joke I heard years ago:*

*A rather successful career woman, after having been single up into her 50's, finally found the man of her dreams that she wanted in her life and to get married to.

Her two male neighbors were discussing it over the back fence one weekend afternoon.

"Yeah, I'm awfully happy she has found her man! You know, she's already come close to getting married twice before," said one neighbor.

"Twice?" retorted the other. "When did that happen?"

"Well several years back, she met a lawyer, and basically, all that he really wanted to do was talk about it."

"Then not too long after that, she met an optometrist, and that didn't exactly work out either as all that he wanted to do was just look at it."

"But I think that she's now found her man and will be in sheer paradise," he exclaimed.

"Well, who is she getting hitched to?" said his friend.

"Oh, hell! Didn't I already tell you that she's marrying a gourmet chef?"*


----------



## 312cpl

MissFroggie said:


> I'm confused...he's going to put a piece of parsley on it and say it's perfect now?



what's the difference between p***y and parsley??

you don't eat the parsley!!


----------



## Thunder7

Jellybeans said:


> Btw, how do you guys feel about that? Kissing after going down on her?


I love it. It is such a huge turn on. My wife was resistant early on. But, as time went by I guess she figured out it's no big deal. She tastes awesome so it's not like I was trying to make her eat liver, or something nasty like that.


----------



## Granny7

TheCuriousWife said:


> I'm not a screamer. I do moan, but honestly it's more for him. I've never had a mind blowing, scream worthy O I guess. Because if it was up to me I'd just be silent, I don't make a peep when I MB.
> 
> Honestly it's an effort to be vocal.
> 
> I've always wondered if oral orgasms are better, and I fantasize of a time when it's so strong and powerful I can't help but scream.
> 
> And I agree, it barely starts even feeling good within 2 minutes, so by the time he is getting anywhere it's over.


TheCuriousWife,
I shouldn't even be on this site, trying to take my mind off my ill 93 yr. old Dad for a moment. All I wanted to say is that, Yes getting to a screaming O is so much better than keeping silent. It add's to the pleasure and you are totally letting going of everything in you. I hope you do it some day, it's so worth it! Now if we could get our marriage back together after the A and he could maintain an erection, I can't imagine how good it would be. I love the oral, but my H tries to hurry as he's afraid that his erection won't stay hard by time he does that to me and it doesn't. I've mentioned that he should do the other first, then do oral on me, but at 70 then I have dry issues. So for all you young folks out there, go for it while everything is working great, before you have our problems.
Granny7
PS: I don't look like a granny either.


----------



## Granny7

TheCuriousWife said:


> I shave and shower before EVERY sexual event.
> 
> I do have a smell, but I know every woman does. I'm not sure if it is stronger or lighter than most. :scratchhead:
> 
> So maybe I just do smell horrible. I don't know. I don't think it is a bad smell or a particularly strong smell, but who knows what he thinks.
> 
> I know I don't taste bad. Because we make out after he's been down there, and I've given him blow jobs after PIV before.
> 
> He only says that his mouth gets tired, or that he doesn't want to do it too often because, "it will make it less special."
> 
> I used to orgasm in 20 minutes or less, the last couple months it's probably 30 - 45 minutes. I'm not sure why. So I know he could never do it for that long. But I wish he would get me close other ways then finish me with oral.
> 
> I guess since I take so long I'm just destined to never have one that way.


TheCuriousWife,
I am having the same problem, it does take me so long now at 70, but I think it's due to me afraid to let go and I never totally get there 100% and that stinks. Sorry, wrong term. Things do shrink as we get older and that's called athropy, so that is an issue. Using a vibrator for a little while before hand or during oral sex does get it started better, or else finish off with it.
Granny7


----------



## Dannie1348

Wow a guy that doesn't like going down on the wife crazy bet you like her going down on you .


----------



## Curse of Millhaven

Curious Wife…you’re fine, your fun-hole is fine, and I’m sure it is lovely and smells like a lilac meadow covered in dew and tastes like watermelon jolly ranchers; this seems to be entirely your husband’s issue. In reading some of your posts here and in other threads he sounds like a selfish, insensitive lover, who despite your best efforts is unable or, more likely, unwilling to fulfill your all-you-can-eat sushi buffet fantasies. Why? It could be that he doesn’t like your feminine flower’s perfume, or he can’t stomach the nectar from your honey-pot, or perhaps he has an extraordinarily weak mouth and his tongue does truly tire out after 2 minutes (seems your frisky furry feline isn’t the biggest pvssy in the room), or maybe he isn’t interested in bringing you to come orally because he gets nothing out of it. 

He says he likes it but proves otherwise in action. It’s a mystery. And only he can solve the Case of the Uneaten Cream Pie for you, Nancy Drew. Unfortunately, it seems he’s clammed up and isn’t giving you any clues with which to work. Forgive me if you have addressed this before, but perhaps couples counseling might be in order to help you get to the bottom of this?

And as for your hygiene habits and grooming your lady garden…I’m thinking you could meticulously manicure your garden of eatin’ into a horticultural heaven or let it go Southern Gothic with kudzu covering every square inch and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. You’re already keeping your gal clean and coiffured and I really don’t think your little lady’s hairdo is the issue. It’s him. He complains that you take too long even when he manually stimulates you which really doesn’t require much of him other than a little dexterity and minimal hand strength…he sounds incredibly lazy and selfish. And I’m not sure you or anyone here can change that…he has to want to change and if laying your feelings bare in countless heart-to-hearts hasn’t been impetus enough for him, I don’t know what else you can do. You can’t make someone care…they either do or they don’t, you know? You can lead the proverbial horse (or jackass as the case may be) to water but you cannot make him drink.

And I mean no offense in telling you any of this; I am actually drowning in similar cold waters and waving from my capsized Loveless Boat. At least you are still afloat and your husband tries…mine has not once polished my pearl with his tongue despite my countless amazing feats of fellatio…I’m a fearless sword swallower in the circus of our lives and not once has he tried to kiss my bearded lady. Selfish doesn’t begin to describe him. And like you I keep my girl clean, groomed, and at the ready, but alas she waits in vain. At this point I’ve told myself “I’d rather fvck the horse he rode in on instead of him!” and I’m fairly certain I would crush his head like a walnut with the nutcracker of my thighs if he ever dared to venture into my hinterlands. It’s tragic, hopeless even. It’s Wild Kingdom in my pants now and I have man-eating tigers patrolling my perimeter… sadly, he remains unscathed due to a total lack of interest on his part. He never was an adventurer. My tigers are skin and bones now.

But I digress…maybe you could buy your husband some Hubba Bubba or Bazooka or something and make him chew the whole pack for 24 hours or more to build up some jaw strength? I don’t know. Something’s gotta give other than you. Anyway, I wish you and your chocha the best with getting your man to go downtown and eat it like a vulture. I hope your Hairy Manilow doesn’t end up a bitter old b!tch like mine. Good luck!


----------



## CharlieParker

OMG, I'm sorry to hear that CoM, but I can see you channel your hurt into your writings. That is a hall of fame post. (But still, I'm not going to like it.)


----------



## I Notice The Details

CharlieParker said:


> OMG, I'm sorry to hear that CoM, but I can see you channel your hurt into your writings. That is a hall of fame post. (But still, I'm not going to like it.)


:iagree: I admire the style of CoM's writing...very interesting indeed.


----------



## Curse of Millhaven

CharlieParker said:


> OMG, I'm sorry to hear that CoM, but I can see you channel your hurt into your writings. That is a hall of fame post. (But still, I'm not going to like it.)


It's ok. You don't have to like it. Hell, I don't like it. We are so fvcked in every sense of the word except for the actual sexual meaning of the word. I don't really channel my hurt into anything except, well, hurt. There's no outlet for this kind of useless pain. I've talked about our sad sexless state of affairs (no actual "affairs", mind you) until I'm blue in the face and it does no good. My Southern Hemisphere is still the Land of the Lost and sadly, even if my husband did want to explore my land that time forgot, I'm afraid it's to the point that my vaginasaurus rex would rip his fvcking head off!

I mean, even my g0ddamned gyno is telling me to leave him. How pathetic is that?! I'm a downed cow on the conveyor belt of life. There is no helping me. And yet still I love the man and can't pull the plug on our flatlined marriage. Hope springs eternal and all that sh!t. Oh well. Back to our regularly scheduled programming...


----------



## Curse of Millhaven

I Notice The Details said:


> :iagree: I admire the style of CoM's writing...very interesting indeed.


I don't know how to take this with the eye rolling emoticon, so I'll just say...thank you...?


----------



## over20

Curse of Millhaven said:


> It's ok. You don't have to like it. Hell, I don't like it. We are so fvcked in every sense of the word except for the actual sexual meaning of the word. I don't really channel my hurt into anything except, well, hurt. There's no outlet for this kind of useless pain. I've talked about our sad sexless state of affairs (no actual "affairs", mind you) until I'm blue in the face and it does no good. My Southern Hemisphere is still the Land of the Lost and sadly, even if my husband did want to explore my land that time forgot, I'm afraid it's to the point that my vaginasaurus rex would rip his fvcking head off!
> 
> I mean, even my g0ddamned gyno is telling me to leave him. How pathetic is that?! I'm a downed cow on the conveyor belt of life. There is no helping me. And yet still I love the man and can't pull the plug on our flatlined marriage. Hope springs eternal and all that sh!t. Oh well. Back to our regularly scheduled programming...


Your posts are very sad.......


----------



## Joylush

tyler1978 said:


> I have an ex-wife and she did not take care of her area all that well. I am not exaggerating when I say that she stunk so bad down there that I looked forward to her farts.


:rofl: that's hilariously disgusting!


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Great post CoM... love your writing style and wit.


----------



## lfortender

I love but my wife doesnt blow me, so because of this i stopped to perform oral in her *****! Just for revenge!


----------



## Chumpless

I've told mine on several occasions how much I want to! But she never wants to get down when she's clean, and has her morning poops *after* her shower. Heck, the hair I can handle, the smell of sh!t, not so much. What gives?


----------



## Joylush

Curse of Millhaven said:


> I don't know how to take this with the eye rolling emoticon, so I'll just say...thank you...?


You truly have a gift!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Chumpless said:


> I've told mine on several occasions how much I want to! But she never wants to get down when she's clean, and has her morning poops *after* her shower. Heck, the hair I can handle, the smell of sh!t, not so much. What gives?


----------



## arbitrator

MissFroggie said:


> I'm actually quite grossed out by the comments regarding lack of personal hygiene - minging! There really is no excuse for that! *Puke* But how on earth do you tell someone to go wash their bits because they're a stinky minger? *Awkward*


*Cleanliness is next to Godliness! And it's not awfully hard or overly time-consuming to do! For anybody!*


----------



## arbitrator

MissFroggie said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> I'm totally shocked it has been mentioned so much as a reason for not wanting to 'go there'! It doesn't matter how much you love a person if they can't be bothered to wash it's likely to be a real turn off!


*The Good Sex Equation*

Cleaned = Turned On!

Unclean = Turned Off!

And that's for both genders!

*But please keep in mind that there is not a single thing wrong with any of our natural pheromones! In fact, that should be a total prerequisite!*


----------



## Finding_me

I am a woman who is happily married to a man who is great at giving oral :smthumbup: BUT...my first husband did not like to give oral and it turned out he was in the closet :wtf:, so when he came out, I was COMPLETELY confused about my sexuality and did date a woman for some time. I performed oral a few times, and it was quite thrilling to give THAT MUCH PLEASURE...so...not saying your man is gay, but if it quacks like a duck and waddles like a duck...well...it's something to consider...due to the current financial market my two cents is worth about .005, but there it is


----------



## Jellybeans

arbitrator said:


> *Cleanliness is next to Godliness! And it's not awfully hard or overly time-consuming to do! For anybody!*


Exactly! I do not understand people who don't practice good hygiene. And that is because I am a freak about bathing. I will never understand people who do not like to shower and be/feel clean.

Luckily, most of my lovers have wnated to live there. And I do not complain because there is simply nothing better than someone you enjoy being ALL in your space there. This thread is sexy.


----------



## Dayhiker

It's painful for me to keep my tongue out for so long. Up until it hurts I like it just fine. I suppose it's like a girl getting lockjaw.


----------



## NewHubs

Dayhiker said:


> It's painful for me to keep my tongue out for so long. Up until it hurts I like it just fine. I suppose it's like a girl getting lockjaw.


Are you actually complaining? :scratchhead:

Never heard a dude bi*ch about giving oral :rofl:


----------



## Dayhiker

not complaining, just saying why I don't like to do it for long.


----------



## over20

I think it depends on HOW LONG...5-10 minutes compared to 45-50 mins for some women


----------



## larry.gray

Dayhiker said:


> It's painful for me to keep my tongue out for so long. Up until it hurts I like it just fine. I suppose it's like a girl getting lockjaw.


I found it goes away with practice. I used to get pretty sore from that, and I know exactly what you're talking about.

I haven't had that problem in years now.


----------



## Thunder7

Dayhiker said:


> It's painful for me to keep my tongue out for so long. Up until it hurts I like it just fine. I suppose it's like a girl getting lockjaw.


If you're sticking your tongue out so far, like you're trying to touch the tip of your nose, you're doing it wrong. I've never had this issue. Just sayin'.


----------



## CharlieParker

Thunder7 said:


> If you're sticking your tongue out so far, like you're trying to touch the tip of your nose, you're doing it wrong. I've never had this issue. Just sayin'.


Wait, I misread. When I need a break I put my tongue on my upper lip near my nose (mis read again you said tip) and leave it there and just move entire head. 

What ever, enjoy!


----------



## arbitrator

CharlieParker said:


> Wait, I misread. When I need a break I put my tongue on my upper lip near my nose (mis read again you said tip) and leave it there and just move entire head.
> 
> What ever, enjoy!


*Yeah, Charlie! Neck muscles are pretty damn hard to get sore on you! Just sayin'! 

Unless, of course, the neck gets severely constricted by two extremely excited thigh appendages! But what a heavenly way to expire!*


----------



## I Notice The Details

When eating at the Y....the scenery and aroma is so damn arousing to me!!! I must admit that I don't think much about my neck muscles. I am too busy giving my wife pleasure! :smthumbup:


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DH starts w/his fingers then goes down.Unless he purposely holds me off,I can orgasm within 5 minutes of his tongue touching me.

I imagine he'd get pretty tired if he was down there for 40-45mins.He does that to himself sometimes.He'll go down there and try to make me orgasm as many times as possible before I make him stop. It's like he's setting up camp down there. 

I couldn't give head for the amount of time he's down on me when he's going for a string of orgasms. The man has serious endurance.


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## over20

DH works his way up...slaps my ass and turns me upside down ...then does the.........deed


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## arbitrator

over20 said:


> DH works his way up...slaps my ass and turns me upside down ...then does the.........deed


*M'dear! Horny ol' men like me just don't need to hear apt descriptions like that! Methinks I need a cold shower ~ as it's cold enough here already!*


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## Jellybeans

I Notice The Details said:


> When eating at the Y....the scenery and aroma is so damn arousing to me!!!


It's always better in the (day)light (Or any light, really).

I like to watch. 

*Men who don't like giving oral*

...make the world sad.


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## BeachGuy

Oh my JB....you just sent a tingle through my body.

Every time I get dental work done they comment on how strong my tongue is... Just sayin'....


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## Jellybeans

Right?! That sounds like the sexiest dental appointment ever!


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## CharlieParker

Jellybeans said:


> Right?! That sounds like the sexiest dental appointment ever!


I don't what it's really called when the dentist lifts your tongue with a strip of gauze, but around our house we call that "tongue bondage".


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## Jellybeans

Sexy!

And btw, one of my dentists is HAWT. I get excited when he asks me if I prefer the bubblegum or mint flavor. Hahaha.


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## Thunder7

Jellybeans said:


> It's always better in the (day)light (Or any light, really).
> 
> I like to watch.
> 
> *Men who don't like giving oral*
> 
> ...make the world sad.


I like the lights on, too. I like to see where I'm going.


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## over20

arbitrator said:


> *M'dear! Horny ol' men like me just don't need to hear apt descriptions like that! Methinks I need a cold shower ~ as it's cold enough here already!*


Sorry.....Hubs is really good at what he does!!


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## NewHubs

Lights out sometimes. Adds to the element of "where will his tongue go next?"


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## over20

Thunder7 said:


> I like the lights on, too. I like to see where I'm going.


Plus it's nice to see all the beauty!


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## ScarletBegonias

ugh.lights.bright ones.DH is obsessed with lighting. If he ever was asked "what complaints do you have about sex with your wife" He would answer "nothing.except she never lets me look at her in bright light."

omg.

Saturday morning was probably the first time I let him "examine" my body in bright morning sunlight. FTR,that morning he was a two pump chump.  LOL I say that in the most flattered and loving way.


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## Jellybeans

Light is amazing.

Man, some of my favorite romp sessions in memory were during the day with the sunlight pouring through big huge windows, blinding lights. Then able to see everything. Sigh.

I need to get laid.


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## arbitrator

over20 said:


> Sorry.....Hubs is really good at what he does!!


*Just teasing you, Darlin! Actually, I'm totally thrilled for the both of you!

Go Get'Em!*


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## omgitselaine

NewHubs said:


> Lights out sometimes. Adds to the element of "where will his tongue go next?"


Not for nothing but uummmm ............ that's what blindfolds are for  !!!


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## I Notice The Details

omgitselaine said:


> Not for nothing but uummmm ............ that's what blindfolds are for  !!!


:iagree: That is what we do...leave the lights on, or the curtains open during the day...but she wears a black, sleeping mask over her eyes. Works fantastic in our bedroom!!!


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## larry.gray

ScarletBegonias said:


> ugh.lights.bright ones.DH is obsessed with lighting. If he ever was asked "what complaints do you have about sex with your wife" He would answer "nothing.except she never lets me look at her in bright light."
> 
> omg.
> 
> Saturday morning was probably the first time I let him "examine" my body in bright morning sunlight. FTR,that morning he was a two pump chump.  LOL I say that in the most flattered and loving way.


How long have you been married? I hope not too long. 

Women are so dang self conscious, and this is one more example. I *LOVE* bright morning sun. Mrs. Gray has learned to cover herself in the bright morning sun if she doesn't want more rounds. We could have done many fun things together, but if I walk back in the bedroom with her naked in the bright sun, I'm ready again.


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## ScarletBegonias

larry.gray said:


> How long have you been married? I hope not too long.
> 
> Women are so dang self conscious, and this is one more example. I *LOVE* bright morning sun. Mrs. Gray has learned to cover herself in the bright morning sun if she doesn't want more rounds. We could have done many fun things together, but if I walk back in the bedroom with her naked in the bright sun, I'm ready again.


We've been married since this past September. When we first started dating I insisted on wearing a shirt during sex and always covered myself when walking around. 
Now during sex I'm naked and I don't cover up as much as I used to. Letting him look at me as closely as he wanted in the bright sunlight the other morning was REALLY,REALLY difficult for me. But oddly enough,I felt insanely beautiful afterward. 
He's pleased with my improvements I imagine


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## CharlieParker

SB, may I suggest he stands behind you and caress (and kisses your neck) naked in front of full length mirror in bright sunlight. I think you like it and given what you've said about him I know he will.


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## ScarletBegonias

CharlieParker said:


> SB, may I suggest he stands behind you and caress (and kisses your neck) naked in front of full length mirror in bright sunlight. I think you like it and given what you've said about him I know he will.


 I don't think I'm ready for that yet!  baby steps,my friend,baby steps LOL


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## Jellybeans

Aw, why don't you like sunlight/light sex, Scarlet?


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## ScarletBegonias

It's a self esteem thing. I was getting better for a while but recently I've been seriously struggling w/it.I'm guessing by the time I hit 35 I'll fully into bright light sexy time.


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## rush

ScarletBegonias said:


> It's a self esteem thing. I was getting better for a while but recently I've been seriously struggling w/it.I'm guessing by the time I hit 35 I'll fully into bright light sexy time.


Well this guy is going to light the candles tonight, wife does not always allow , we will see, I know she is hot!


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## ScarletBegonias

rush said:


> Well this guy is going to light the candles tonight, wife does not always allow , we will see, I know she is hot!


I hope it works out I love candlelight.Hides so many of my imperfections while still letting me see my man


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## Thunder7

ScarletBegonias said:


> It's a self esteem thing. I was getting better for a while but recently I've been seriously struggling w/it.I'm guessing by the time I hit 35 I'll fully into bright light sexy time.


Thirty five! You are in your prime, my dear. And you should allow your H to worship at your alter. (don't know where that came from - not religious in the least)


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## ScarletBegonias

Thunder7 said:


> Thirty five! You are in your prime, my dear. And you should allow your H to worship at your alter. (don't know where that came from - not religious in the least)


 I definitely do...just in more subdued lighting currently. I'm trying to compromise between meeting his need to see all my details and my need to hide a bit in the shadows. 

Who knows,I may give him another go on Saturday and Sunday morning this weekend. I did enjoy hearing him mumble "oh my god you're gonna make me end instantly."


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## NewHubs

ScarletBegonias said:


> I definitely do...just in more subdued lighting currently. I'm trying to compromise between meeting his need to see all my details and my need to hide a bit in the shadows.
> 
> Who knows,I may give him another go on Saturday and Sunday morning this weekend. I did enjoy hearing him mumble "oh my god you're gonna make me end instantly."


Hopefully he lasts longer...as "hard" as that may be


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## ScarletBegonias

I get so flattered when he goes fast and can't hold back. It's a huge compliment to me.

I guess I have room to be flattered by it bc he always makes sure I'm taken care of no matter what.I would likely resent it if he wasn't so unselfish about it.


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## Jellybeans

ScarletBegonias said:


> It's a self esteem thing. I was getting better for a while but recently I've been seriously struggling w/it.I'm guessing by the time I hit 35 I'll fully into bright light sexy time.


Plus, you are in your sexual PRIME. 



ScarletBegonias said:


> I did enjoy hearing him mumble *"oh my god you're gonna make me end instantly."*


That's HOT. :smthumbup:


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## rush

You would be shocked what I have to do to last more than 5 minutes with my wife


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## doubletrouble

BeachGuy said:


> Oh my JB....you just sent a tingle through my body.
> 
> Every time I get dental work done they comment on how strong my tongue is... Just sayin'....


I had a dental techician gal tell me all about how men have more of a gag complex than women.


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## NewHubs

doubletrouble said:


> I had a dental techician gal tell me all about how men have more of a gag complex than women.


Interesting...


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## doubletrouble

I wondered, too late, what she was getting at.


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## NewHubs

Applejuice said:


> I've never considered myself a prude but I'm astonished by how relaxed you all are with discussing your sexual rituals openly. I've always felt particularly self-conscious when discussing sex. D


Well you came to the right place! Welcome to TAM!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hookares

TheCuriousWife said:


> Men, is there anyone here that doesn't like giving oral?
> 
> If so, what are the reasons you don't like it?
> 
> Thanks!


If I didn't like giving oral, there would be very little left of my sex life.


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## larry.gray

doubletrouble said:


> I had a dental techician gal tell me all about how men have more of a gag complex than women.


I have a terrible gag reflex. As a kid I've puked on a couple of doctors and many dentists. To this day I can have a hard time at the dentist.

But it's never been an issue with oral. My gag reflex is triggered by contact with the gums above my back molars. 

I know that some women may have large meat curtains, but I've never seen one that big in person, let alone put my mouth on them.


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## BeachGuy

MissFroggie said:


> OMG! What are you doing to your dentist??? I don't remember having those 'tests' at a dental exam! I really do need to change dentists!


Ha ha! When they're trying to work on a tooth and I keep "resisting" with my tongue by unconsciously pushing on the dental probes.

Although...there are some cuties in that office.


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