# Hurting, need support and outside perspective



## Fresh (Nov 4, 2017)

Hello all,

I hav been reading this forum for 3 days now and i was inspired by umbre thread to register and post.

3 weeks ago my wife told me "i dont like you", "being around you and doing activities with you makes me sad", you arnt the same man i married. Then she hit me with her terms for a divorce.

I was crushed like i never been crushed before..i went to see a lawyer and he told me to take the deal she offered me because after 9 years marriage i wouldnt get a better one than that and that if he was her lawyer he would advise her to only offer me at very most if wanted to be generous 80% of what i was offered.

I ask my wife to attend counselling with me to flesh out what going on. She agreed, though she was up front that doing so does not alter her view on settlement she offer me or that we are going to seperate. She agrees to only 2 appointments with councellor no more.

She tells me that she wants to seperate because i dont look after myself and i dont take responsibility in life. She wants a year seperation for her personal development and growth.

I dont drink, smoke, do drugs or have affairs. I study medical degree and masters at the same time. Previously i work as a school teacher. I am 6 foot and 74kg, lean. 

In the 3 weeks we seperated we still sleep in same bed but no touch or intimacy. We are roomates essentially and buy our shopping seperatly.

This seperation/divorce is so weird..its not like anything i imagined..i have no idea what to expect or do..i am scared, lonely and sad.

As part of structured seperation she insist not me, i dont want it, but she insist that we must be allowed/ok to have casual relationships and sex with other people and that only if one of us gets into a serious relationship is that divorce grounds or if that person is in a relationship in 12 months time will we auto get divorce.

She wants a 12 month seperation time frame. She wants us to talk on phone/skype once a week for first 3 months then after that its up to us to renegotiate in settlement contract how often we want to communicate.

She does not want any attempts at repair marriage until at least 1st feb 2018 and if they are to occur they will only occur because she feels like doing so based on our conversations on the phone during months prior.

There is to be no physical contact or face to face meeting between us at this stage for the 12 months but it is subject to renegotiation.

Finances have been seperated. We have no kids..originally i wanted 4 and she wanted 2. But we mutually agree to pursue careers an let it go. We do have a dog we will share.

She sold my car and bought a new car in her name only. **** her. She gets it as part of settlement. So im walking..

I guess i want to know....what the **** man....why am i getting seperated/divorced and what should i expect/do during my seperation

I am so ****ing lost


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Maybe because she no longer likes you?

My guess is she already found a boyfriend to replace you and she is going through some happy "new relationship" phase with him.

She was bored, and someone swept her off her feet?

Take the settlement, and divorce her. Be done with it. Do not be clingy and needy. If you are you may be re-inforcing the exact model she finds makes her sad.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

She is not looking for herself in this time... it sounds as she is looking for your replacement, or has one picked out already.

Let her go... I know it's hard but you really do not want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you.

Show her you can live without her, and you can... save your heart for someone who can see what you have to offer.

Get the terms in writing and then file yourself... you will be happier and more confident once you accept parts of this are not in your control and the things that are, you have some say in what is what is happening around you.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

It does sound like she's already found someone else and is looking to be "faithful" to him. If this is true, right now, she sees this guy as better than you, even though he might be less than you. Perhaps he earns more or is already finished with his education and provides the appearance of greater financial stability. She might be in a sort of honeymoon phase with him where he appears to be everything she's always wanted. This will wear off over time and she'll might start to see that there's nothing special about him. At this point she might be drawn back to you.

What this means is that you should take this golden opportunity to start the divorce proceedings now. Get the favorable terms drawn up by attorneys and try to get the divorce done as soon as possible. Be friendly, cordial, and supportive of her, just to make the process go more smoothly. In the meantime, quietly investigate to see if she is indeed having an affair. Once the divorce is final you are in a much better position to call the shots. She might want you back after the relationship with the other man fizzles out. You can decide what she must do to prove herself and show true remorse. Maybe there will be enough there to restart the relationship. But never marry her again.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Fresh said:


> ..i went to see a lawyer and he told me to take the deal she offered me because after 9 years marriage i wouldnt get a better one than that and that if he was her lawyer he would advise her to only offer me at very most if wanted to be generous 80% of what i was offered.


You have a good lawyer. Some of them want to "fight" because they make more money. It is good advice because your lawyer knows what the court system will do in most cases before you even go there.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Sucess is the best revenge, bury your head in school in get your degrees then make piles of money and find the right woman but a prenup might be a good idea.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Take s look at this link OP and tell me if it sounds like what's happening with your wife. 

http://m.divorcebusting.com/?url=http://divorcebusting.com/a_walkaway_wife.htm&utm_referrer=#2912



Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

That's quite a list of "rules" she's given you for the separation. How convenient that she got to make them all without any input from you.

Personally I'd tell her to pound sand. 

File for divorce, sign the settlement she offered per your attorney's advice and, for godsakes, get this woman out of your bed!


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Man up. Give her the divorce. Keep your self respect and integrity. Take a deep introspective look at yourself and try to understand what is it with you that made her lose her respect and love for you, so that you do not make the same mistake (s) going forward. Do not beg, ask, or look weak when dealing with her, that make you look pathetic in her eyes. 

Agree with everyone. She already at the least have someone line up, or is already having sex with. Take the deal, divorce, and stop talking to her. Let the lawyers do the talking.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Fresh said:


> Hello all,
> 
> I hav been reading this forum for 3 days now and i was inspired by umbre thread to register and post.
> 
> ...


Your wife is already having an affait. Get out now before you get your md and she takes you to the cleaners.
Get out.divirce immediately. Please, for the love of God, don't wait. Please.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Tatsuhiko said:


> It does sound like she's already found someone else and is looking to be "faithful" to him. If this is true, right now, she sees this guy as better than you, even though he might be less than you. Perhaps he earns more or is already finished with his education and provides the appearance of greater financial stability. She might be in a sort of honeymoon phase with him where he appears to be everything she's always wanted. This will wear off over time and she'll might start to see that there's nothing special about him. At this point she might be drawn back to you.
> 
> What this means is that you should take this golden opportunity to start the divorce proceedings now. Get the favorable terms drawn up by attorneys and try to get the divorce done as soon as possible. Be friendly, cordial, and supportive of her, just to make the process go more smoothly. In the meantime, quietly investigate to see if she is indeed having an affair. Once the divorce is final you are in a much better position to call the shots. She might want you back after the relationship with the other man fizzles out. You can decide what she must do to prove herself and show true remorse. Maybe there will be enough there to restart the relationship. But never marry her again.


No need to investigate. She is. 100% sure.
It doesn't matter. He has a divorce deal and like You said, needs to take it as fast as possible before she changes her mind. Guilt is the only reason he's getting a decent deal. The guilt will go away.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Evinrude58 said:


> Guilt is the only reason he's getting a decent deal. The guilt will go away.


Yep, and so will the deal, when it does. This is one time where OP has to "strike while the iron's hot".



chillymorn69 said:


> a prenup might be a good idea.


No, a prenup is an essential idea if you have any assets when you marry. Be sure that it's agreed before any marriage that the divorce settlement will include NOTHING that you brought into the marriage.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I’m so sorry you are here.

I hate it when a spouse does this. She is so obviously having an affair, but has come up with such an elaborate other story and plan to introduce her affair partner easily and with nearly no guilt. Well, barf. 

If you have family and friends involved in your life, I would do a tiny amount of digging (it shouldn’t require much) to get your concrete proof of the affair. Accept her settlement offer, and then immediately expose these two lovers to everyone and let their little secret plan implode.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Don't wait a year tell her you want to be in another relationship by next year and she is not in the picture....please please move on your not getting her back this way...at the very least she has her eye on some else at most she is a cake eater who wants someone else now and you later...move on ...time to man up.


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## Fresh (Nov 4, 2017)

Thank you all for your replies and thoughts, her having another person is something I had not considered or thought about. We have seperate phone and accounts for our phones so I dont think I will be able to find out if i was to do any digging, my wife doesnt use FB much or any social media apart from whatsapp. 

Today she told me that the purpose of the seperation is to work on self development and that during the coming 12 months working on the relationship/marraige between us is a secondary priority and only to be done if the first is complete. I mean what in hell does working on your own on personal development mean?? Dont you do that as a couple together? I mean appart from the possibility of another person...is there any other meaning or possible interpretation to this statement?

I asked her about the 3 weeks we been living together in the same apartment and sharing the same bed, how can she do so when I am someone who "she does not like" and being around makes her unhappy as she told me when she hit me with terms of surrender. She said that we are basically roomates and that its ok for her because we only spend about 2-3 hours in each other company monday-friday and that she can handle that. In addition there is logistics to be sorted out. She said that making decisions with me is fine but planning to do things with me is not. For example if we were to spend the weekend doing our own activities, me read a book in bed and she on her laptop in bed for 2.5 days she would have no problem with this. Alternatively if we were to go to an art gallery together it would really piss her off because of my planning and organising lack of.

I asked her upfront if there was another man/woman and she said no. I asked her upfront if she is indifferent to me or the relationship, she said no. I asked her if she loves me or not, she said she still loves me.

I told her that this is one of the strangest situations I have ever been in my life....I have a brother and sister who were both divorced and once that bomb was dropped in there relationship one party moved out strait away and all contact was cut except through lawyers apart from my sister who had kids involved. My wife said she wants to have the weekly conversations because if we cut all communicaton then its over for sure, no questions asked. IF we do the weekly calls, there is a chance we can reconcile she said. Alternatively if worst comes to worst she would like to remain friends with me. She said that I am actually quite pleasent to talk to and be around.

I told her today that I am not ok with the sex with other people during seperation and want it changed to no sex with other parties, she agreed to this and told me that she is a rather asexual person herself and that she included it mostly for my benifit, because its not fair to deny one person sex.

I am so fuccking confused

In terms of the settlement/what lawyers advised, my wife told me that she wants to do it as cheaply as possible, so she direct bank transferred to me the money that she said she would send me - minus $3000 because she spent it on bicycle and rock climbing - motherfkr. I mean is this a bad idea or do we need to pay for lawyers first and get it all done that way..it is expensive $7000-10000 per person just to get contracts drawn up, signed and full financial disclosure done.

My sister and brother both told me that things got better and the real healing/grief begins once you move out and that for them being around the other person made them as angry as fk. In my case...I feel aweful when she is not around....I struggle to get out of bed until midday and I am teary, dont brush my teeth..I am a mess. When she is around, even though we dont talk i feel so comforted....she is in my life. I still have my best friend, confidant and person who knows me better than anyone on planet.

I am not sure what to do....if I leave and go to my parents house (they have domestic violence issues) being away from my wife will smash me hard and my parents do love me and will do their best to comfort me..but their own issues need to be kept under check otherwise its not going to work. I have a brother who lives less than a mile from where i am renting in a 4 bedroom house with only him, wife and child. His wife is alcoholic and has banned me from staying at their house, along with my mum and dad who usually visit for xmas. My sister in law also had dinner and a bottle of wine with my wife last night at a restaurant at my sister in law insistance.....she paid for it so my wife ate and drank for free....i mean....WTF. Neither my brother or his wife told me this invitation had been extended or was going to occur...i found out from my wife! 

I am in a tricky situation, my exams have ended for the year so I have until 2nd week of january off, then i return to classes. Thats 10 weeks i need to be around a strong support network...this accomodation thing is going to get tricky because im going to have to give you all some background to better understand the 10 week thing I have coming up and whats going on in my life. Ill do that in a follow on post.

Has anyone who does not own a buisness or kids with there former spouse ever remained friends with them? If so, what was it like? How did you work it out? Is it worth doing?

I have packed up everything I own except for my clothes and desktop pc. I can bail at short notice. I told her that I am strongly considering moving out in the coming weeks and she told me that she is ok to take on the rent and utilities by herself.


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## Fresh (Nov 4, 2017)

So a little background that might or might not make it easier to understand the accommodation problem i find myself in, it might also flesh out what going on with my wife and i.

Im 29, she 32, we married after 2 years together. Beginning was not all love and bliss in marriage as my wife struggled badly to find work. She has a bachelor in biochemistry and then did a masters in administration. Her first job after all this was as a carpenter assistant...

Then she got work in a valet car park, which she quit after 6 months. She was then unemployed for 3.5 years. All of what im telling you happened during our marriage. I was working full time as teacher in 3 different jobs to carry us through. 

I eventually got into medicine degree and this required us to travel 3000km to a different city for me to study. When the time came for us to move she was offered a job at an art gallery after volunteering there for 12 months, which she turned down to be with me.

In new city things were great for 2 of us for first 6 months. But after that they really went down hill...she was depressed because of how rural we were which i loved and her life go no where. I encourged and coaxed her to see dr and psychologist and she did. Things improved a little.

The following year she hit me with hard news, we were ob holiday together and she told me that she was bisexual - 40% attracted females, 60% attracted males. I knew from when we met she was bad at sex, but always figured she would get better over time....she never did....even to this day..

I offered we could involve a 3rd person from time to time or she could have her person and i have mine. I didnt cheat or anything...i was trying to find a way to make things work. She turned down all offers deciding she wanted to remain exclusive.

Anyway about a year later i am sitting at table having my breakfast, 7 days out from end year medicine exams. The pressure is on ya know....

Anyway she walks up to me and tells me she wants a divorce. I am aghast...i have the first panic attack in my life, i am on the floor curled crying. She walks out house and gets onto a plane. I need to call a classmate to my house to pick me up off the floor and get me into shower. Classmate was really good to me, spent the day with me, took me out, talked me through it.

I sat my exams and passed.

Spent 1 month at my parents mad house, wrote an email to my wife who i had now not seen for 2 months pointing out her flaws.

She replied and flew back and we went to marriage councelling.

This is the rub right....in the councelling my wife spoke of the same flaws that i think i mentioned earlier....she spoke of how i dont take care of myself and how i dont take responsibility in life.

Marriage councellor told me that whT this means is i need to do more chores. Since my wife has been unempmoyed so many years she became a fulltime housewife. Makes sense right....in full time student she full time wife. Division of tasks.

But she was not satisfied with this... so it was decided i would take time away from my medical degree, do my masters which would allow me to do 50% housework, study full time and work casually. We would change cities to improve wife job prospects.

So we do this, she finds work as admin in a private company at same time. She tells me its happiest she been in our entire marriage. Good i say

But 1 year becomes 2 becomes 3.... so now i have been away 3 year from medical school and i am told i must return january 2018 or i wont be allowed continue. I wrapped up my masters a few weeks before wife told me she want property settlement.

I myself this year have experienced ill health and was a hospital patient for 4 months and it taken me 6 months to recover, however im not fully there yet. This year my wife got promoted to management and this happen while i in hospital...when i come out she change...she cold, distant, aloof, short and sharp with me. Suddenly she wants us do laundry seperatly, shop and cook seperatly, and there is no sex or intimacy to speak of. All while i am ill.

She was ill/unemployed for multiple years and i carried her....wtf man

So difficulty of situation is: if i move out where to go so that i can continue health recovery in addition to support network during this separation/divorce.

If i go to city where my university is, now is a very quiet time of year and city mostly depopulates because of economy and weather. All my friends who i studied with are now doing internship around the country...scattered. 

If i stay in current city where myself and brother are i have access to health services that been helping me back on my feet and thats about all it got going for it. I dont have a support network here.

If i go to my parents i get support but gamble with there "issues". I will also be cutting contact with my health team here short.

I need move back to my university in 10 weeks. No one will give me a lease for 10 weeks...if i find a flatmate in this city which i have looked into i will be paying the same as i currently am remaining with my wife.

Is it worth the hastle of moving? There does not seem to be financial benefit to moving within same city. Oddly enough since my wife told me of seperation of assets and structure seperation agreement she has been a much nicer person. More like the person i remember her to be. Things are amicable at this stage.

Its a difficult decision: stay, if so how long. Move within same city. Go parents.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Sounds like she wants the no contact unless it is skype, so you won't catch her and her boyfriend.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

You need to step up and give her some terms of your own.


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## David51 (Sep 12, 2017)

You have a vision of a future self, good education big job. Your wife only see “right now”. I have been down this road you are on except I was trying to start a small business. Best thing you can do is what you have been doing but do it without her.
Get her terms in writing, file for divorce(don’t tell let it be a surprise, have her formally served with divorce papers) the worst that will happen is that she will come back to you. I know that the idea of her coming back and being you wife again sounds good, in fact it isn’t, you will be much happier with a new woman.



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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Fresh:

The most important question has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with you.

Why do you not think enough of yourself/love yourself enough to insist on better in a partner?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Your relationship is very dysfunctional. For starters, your wife is bisexual and your sex life sucks. Sex is a huge part of a healthy marriage, so you already have a big whammy against you. At this point you don't even know if she's attracted to you (assume she isn't). Maybe she wants to pursue women at this point. And I don't buy her asexual comment; more likely she just doesn't want sex with you.

Second, your wife seems pretty flaky with her job hopping and inability to get some kind of career off the ground for all those years, or even a decent job for that matter. With advanced degrees she could have done much better than a parking valet, a volunteer, and unemployment for 3-1/2 years! The only reason she sounds half-grounded now is because she has finally "come into her own" with a decent job finally allowing her to stand on her own two feet.

Finally, her "rules" suggest she is not grounded in any kind of reality that normal people operate in. Her rules are completely self centered and designed to meet HER needs with no regard for yours.

Get yourself healed, get moved to an apartment in the same city as your uni, and get yourself back into medical school before the clock runs out on that opportunity.

And file for divorce. Before she can stake a claim to future earnings because she "supported you during medical school." Ha! That's laughable...


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## Whatsright86 (Jun 24, 2017)

You sound like a good man, Fresh. Congratulations on passing your exams!

You need to put yourself first. I see a lot of "she wants this", "she says this", "she set the terms", etc. There's a fine line between a good man and a doormat/pushover.

The following is a big warning sign (one of the many)



Fresh said:


> I told her that this is one of the strangest situations I have ever been in my life....I have a brother and sister who were both divorced and once that bomb was dropped in there relationship one party moved out strait away and all contact was cut except through lawyers apart from my sister who had kids involved. *My wife said she wants to have the weekly conversations because if we cut all communicaton then its over for sure, no questions asked. IF we do the weekly calls, there is a chance we can reconcile she said.* Alternatively if worst comes to worst she would like to remain friends with me. She said that I am actually quite pleasent to talk to and be around.


She's bluffing you to keep you on the hook. What you should do is call her bluff. She says "if we cut communication then its over for sure", then you say "alright" and do the 180. I'm willing to bet top money that she will be shocked and contact you FIRST during the no contact period.

If I'm wrong and she doesn't contact you to reconcile, then the relationship was dead to begin with. Thankfully you just put it out of its misery so you don't have to suffer as long.

It's going to be hard to get over her. I'm going through it as well. Everything I do reminds me of my soon to be exwife. I sometimes hallucinate her walking by my side. Every restaurant we used to go together, every bus route we used to take, all the pictures on my phone of us being happy together...and the question keeps popping up..."why couldn't this work??? Is this what I get for being a good husband, one that all her friends say she should be thankful and happy for having me???"

Saying that life really sucks now is an understatement. 

But no healing can truly begin until you really pull the plug. So as others have said, get the papers done, get as favorable terms as you can, and move on. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST.


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## Fresh (Nov 4, 2017)

lostme, David, Farside, happy as a clam, whatsright - thank you all for your replies, I have been considering you thoughts and advice the last day or so in light of some new information. (along with earlier posters)

My sister in law had dinner with my wife on the weekend and that rubbed me up the wrong way, she met me today to talk about it. I dont know how much insight she has into our relationship or how much they gossiped with each other..but my SIL seems to have the impression that we have a 50/50 chance of reconciliation or divorce. She told me she knows about the structured separation agreement, and proposed financial settlement. Still she tells me she thinks that the reason my wife stay around and not leave is to give me a chance to respond and fight for the relationship, to "put her as number 1" instead of myself. Its also the reason she agreed to attend 2 marriage councelling sessions and talk over the phone once a week. 

I am skeptical...majority wisdom on TAM is extramarital affair is going on. I dont have a tin ear and there is no point in coming to a support group/forum such as this if you are not going to listen, learn and consider other points of view or advice. An affair is something I am open to the possibility of, but it is not something that I am going to let pre-occupy my mind or chew up all my energy. I think a more likely reason is that she is trying to put me down easy, or as others repeatedly are saying feels guilty. I am going to focus on what I can control and that is my life, myself and my choices in response to this situation. As was said by whatsright, I need to do what is in my best interest. 

The possibility that this might be occuring for other reasons, such as her sexuality (bisexual), not wanting to travel thousands km to be with me at university but go to a city where she can forward her career...or perhaps we both contributed to the mess we are in now and need to find out what our part was in this and work on ourselves.

I think for me to know what to do I need to first identify the problem. My wife is telling me she wants to break her wedding vows, I need to know why so I can identify the problem (with myself if there is one), work on the problem. Next knowing what the problem is will allow me to better determine my wife intentions are (divorce, reconcilliation, friendship, or she does not know yet). We have our first marriage counselling session tomorrow, our second and possibly last at the end of the week. In these sessions I will be seeking answers to these two questions only, not begginer her to come back or bargaining. Just reconnaissance work.

In the mean time I am trying to fumble my way through not being a door mat, remaining on pleasent terms to maintain a crack in the door for possibility of reconciliation or friendship. Mentally I will try to maintain a posture of this is ending in divorce and the best outcome I can get from this is a distant friendship. I have no power to reconcile us, she has chosen to separate so only she has the power to change that. 

I have talked with the landlord and I told him that I am planning to move out and he gave me some interesting news which I think explains my wife decision to not leave the apartment. Apparently our 1 year lease has come to an end and we are now on a rolling contract which means that we simply have a month to month auto renewal on the lease with no paperwork. We are free to move out at anytime so long as we give 2 weeks notice. I think my wife has not left because she has 10 weeks until she starts her new higher paid job and she cannot get a 3 month or 6 month lease anywhere else. Of course she could move out and find flatmates...but that costs money.... its cheaper for her to stay here with me as a flatmate.

I have told her that I am considering moving out and she said that she is ok with that to cover the cost of entire rent and utilities. Leaves me at a disadvantage because I have to spend money moving. I considered the option of moving all her stuff out and leaving it at the front door, but it wouldnt work because she has a key to apartment as well. Im not willing to make her life unbearable so that she moves out because I need her on favourable terms for the settlement.

So I think at the moment we will continue to live in the same apartment and share the same bed because it is convenient for me and incidentally her as well. There is no way I am sleeping on the floor, its MY bed too. I am going to stay put because I am caught in a financial and logistical bind and at the moment living with her where i am continues to remain convenient. 

I have contacted a solicitor to draw up the settlement terms and hers is on board so hopefully this will be finalised in the next 2 weeks. I called the court to file for a divorce as was suggested by multiple members here and was told by the court that where I live we need to by separated for 12 months before a person can file for divorce. So that is on the back-burner until late 2018.

So the financial and logistical bind that I find myself in, is that given my health I am currently unable to work for at least 6 months....because we were married and my wife was earning good money (90 000 a year) I basically lived on her income, now we are not a couple. So I am strapped for cash, I have done all the medical paperwork and filed it with the government but payments for me cannot begin for 13 weeks, once they do I will be back payed. I asked my brother if I can borrow some money in the mean time and he said that his wife (my SIL who had dinner with my wife) has banned him from doing so. I cannot get a loan from bank because I dont have work/guarantor.

However this is ok. There is a path through this...I have enough money for my half rent, utilities and my own food to get me through most of the 13 weeks. The problem becomes one of moving my stuff to where my university is, the timing is tight with the government payments. My wife has told me she is ok to lend me the car, I am going to get this written up in the settlement so she cant call the cops on me and say I stole it. My wife plan is to move out of our appartment around xmas, she is going to drive the car to the city where her new job is and where my parents are. She is going to fly her belongings down, so there will be plenty of room in the car for my mere 4 boxes, clothes and desktop pc. We can take turns driving down. When we get there I can live for free at my parents house (despite there issues). My parents are both in there 70's and will lend me a bit of money to go direct from there house to my university with my stuff. I think this way minimises the time I am around my parents madness, is within my budget, gets me back to uni where my student payments can kick in and allows me the chance to investigate whats going on in my wife head through marriage counselling. Knowledge is power.

If things deteriorate, I only have to pack my clothes and desktop pc (rest in boxes) and jump on a plane to my parents (despite the pain it will be for me) and 180 her.

There were some excellent points made by other members and I hope the address these in the next post because this one is freaking huge. I am also only 4 weeks into my seperation under one roof, so I might not be thinking strait through all the stuff I got to do, if anyone sees any blunders feel free to point them out


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