# What if We All Showed Our Hands?



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Found this funny article titled *What if We All Showed Our Hands?*.



> *The 18 year old man*: _“Hi cutie. Want some d!ck? I’m into cars, good music, video games, and getting laid. I’m not about much of anything else, except maybe making money, so I can get girls. The only reason I want anything to do with girls is to get laid. I just wish I knew how. I really don’t have any idea at all what I’m doing. Hey, sweetie. Want some d!ck?”_
> 
> *The 18 year old woman*: _“I can get pretty much what I want sexually, but I can’t get these guys to be faithful or loyal. They’re all up front and above board that they only want to sex me; beyond that, they have no use for me. You know what’s weird? All the guys I know can have sex with any girl they want…. Including me. And a lot of them have. So I don’t get what this “manosphere” thing is all about, with guys going on and on about “**** tests” and “hypergamy” and “negs” and whatnot. I mean, guys just do their thing, and they get what they want, right? Like I do, right? What’s the big deal?_”
> 
> ...


My favorite is *the man with no game* :rofl:


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

While it certainly is funny, do I have to pick from one of those?


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Broken at 20 said:


> While it certainly is funny, do I have to pick from one of those?


Nah. But you are most certainly free to do so and it can be more than one.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Those are funny....


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

> The late 40s-early 50s single or divorced man: (edit) Look, I’ve got enough money for myself and a little to burn. If I can do that with a woman who is interested in and devoted to me, great. If not, that’s OK too. I won’t waste time or money dancing like a monkey to get a woman interested. I’m here for me. A woman would be a bonus, icing on the cake. It would be a nice luxury, but it isn’t required.”


This is me, but I'm still in my early 30's.


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

I identify with the last 40's-early 50's single divorced man.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Wow, pretty much all of my wife's single friends fit the 31 year old never married/once-divorced woman. Her single friends all pretty much view love and attraction as nice to haves. Security and the willingness to have children, or be a father to the one they have are at the top of their list.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *The young marriage minded woman:* “I’m looking for a husband. But most of you are either players who won’t commit; or weirdo effeminate overly churchy unattractive men who commit too fast, or video game playing slackers who can’t commit. I won’t get with players and I don’t want the rest of you.”











....I FEEL the accuracy of many of these in the posts on this forum time & time again...given a specific season in life, the mindset is written all over these ! 

I was most definitely the "*The young marriage minded woman*".. I never wanted anything to do with Players / Bad boys.. I had a stick up my a** towards these types.. I knew they would only F**k me over & destroy my dreams..

My husband wasn't a weirdo or churchy (He was a good guy -the type women rarely seem to notice in high school)... he was committed & head over heels for me - I felt this from the very beginning....he really showed he cared...it wasn't a turn off to me...it's *why* we lasted.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

*The late 40s-early 50s single or divorced man: “I don’t really care what else happens. I’ll never get legally married. There are plenty of women around who are willing to have fast sex on pretty much my timetable. And if they aren’t interested, well, that’s fine too. I don’t care to notice most women very much. Look, I’ve got enough money for myself and a little to burn. If I can do that with a woman who is interested in and devoted to me, great. If not, that’s OK too. I won’t waste time or money dancing like a monkey to get a woman interested. I’m here for me. A woman would be a bonus, icing on the cake. It would be a nice luxury, but it isn’t required.”*

Hate to admit it but this is where I'm at.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Should add one for the late 40's-early 50's divorced man who's now in his late 60's-early 70's with health problems:

I really wish I had a wife now to take care of me now that I'm getting old and have health problems. If I had money I could find one to pretend they care about me but since I don't I have to try for one that's also old with health problems because nobody else wants sign up to be my nurse without getting paid. I hope she doesn't want sex though because I have major ed thanks to my health problems. 

Just saying', I've seen it happen.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> Should add one for the late 40's-early 50's divorced man who's now in his late 60's-early 70's with health problems:
> 
> I really wish I had a wife now to take care of me now that I'm getting old and have health problems. If I had money I could find one to pretend they care about me but since I don't I have to try for one that's also old with health problems because nobody else wants sign up to be my nurse without getting paid. I hope she doesn't want sex though because I have major ed thanks to my health problems.
> 
> ...


I think that one should be titled *"Widowers in their 60s and 70s"* because they tend to be, after the "no game man" the neediest.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Where's the man in his 30s?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Right? Exactly what i was thinking. 

Mid to late 30s married guy trying to figure out if he wants to stay married...

Mid to late 30's divorced guy trying to figure out if he ever wants to GET married again.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Where is the deliriously happy mid 40s married woman??


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Right? Exactly what i was thinking.
> 
> Mid to late 30s married guy trying to figure out if he wants to stay married...
> 
> Mid to late 30's divorced guy trying to figure out if he ever wants to GET married again.


Mid to late 30s married guy...
"I have the job. I have the wife. I bought the house. I fathered the children. Wtf happened to my sex life and how the hell did she convince me to buy a minivan?"


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Mid to late 30's divorced guy...


http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/178/923/f*ck-this-sh*t-cat.jpg

^replace the asterisks in the link with the proper letters.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Mid to late 30s married guy...
> "I have the job. I have the wife. I bought the house. I fathered the children. Wtf happened to my sex life and how the hell did she convince me to buy a minivan?"


When we had little kids, I was all about the minivan. Look at how utilitarian it is! DH said I am not driving a minivan. Ever. Period. If you want to vacation with me, it is never going to be in a minivan. Period. He said it with humor but with no lack of conviction. I guess I did not really need a minivan. I don't even remember what we drove then.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Heh, I'm actually the one pushing for the mini-van. My wife thinks she's WAY too cool for that though.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

About 60-ish, separated. Children are getting launched. My family genetic and personal health history are, let's say, not that optimistic. Will be working full time + for maybe another 10 years if everything holds up. If not, the end will be very swift indeed. In either case, did the husband/father thing. No kids have expressed the least interest in having kids themselves so being a grandparent is clearly not in the picture. 

I've got to say that I will show you what I need to show you but please keep it light because I am never making any long run plans with anyone else, anymore. Your baggage best have wheels because I'm not carrying it.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Mid to late 30s married guy...
> "I have the job. I have the wife. I bought the house. I fathered the children. Wtf happened to my sex life and how the hell did she convince me to buy a minivan?"


Late 40's to early 50's still married guy.
"Balls are dropping due to the weight of all that unspent ammo. Ear hair is God's way of muffling her voice; the voice of a mom still trying to 'correct you'. Crippling debt of kids college tuition on top of that big house mortgage keeps me busy at work. Added bonus is it makes my hair grey and falling out for that 'distinguished' look I keep telling myself women find attractive now that I'm a 'classic'. I giggle at these kids because I'm so far in debt that it no longer bothers me buying myself toys using very loose justification like 'its a motorcycle and will save us on gas.' Thing is, that thing is the closest anything has come to an intimate caress with my balls in a long time now. I have the same single 40's attitude: A woman is a luxury, but no longer needed as part of my self-esteem... I'm finding my own groove now that is no longer wrapped up in kids or my wife." 

(should note the late 50's and 60's is re-finding your wife as a partner in crime now that kids are gone and she's no longer just seen as a mom)


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> Where is the deliriously happy mid 40s married woman??


She's right here with you, though she's in her very early 40's. As in 40. But deliriously happy and married to a guy who would also tell you he's deliriously happy and doesn't know why he waited so long to marry her. Because he's said that to me and others.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Mid to late 30s married guy...
> "I have the job. I have the wife. I bought the house. I fathered the children. Wtf happened to my sex life* and how the hell did she convince me to buy a minivan?"*





> *Fozzy said*:* Heh, I'm actually the one pushing for the mini-van. My wife thinks she's WAY too cool for that though.*


I/we never wanted a Mini Van - we only buy 9 Seater 4x4 Suburbans ...we're on our 3rd one -just bought months ago..


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> Should add one for the late 40's-early 50's divorced man who's now in his late 60's-early 70's with health problems:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I'm mid 50's and likely bailing out in a couple years because when my time cometh, my wife, nurse Florence Frigidaire, will likely let me die or accelerate my fate. That's what her father did. Like father, like...

So I'll take my chances with a nursing home chick long before I rely on her. If you see a geezer in a Mini Cooper S doing donuts in the nursing home parking lot, that's me.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Thread topic of "What if We All Showed Our Hands?" was a bit misleading to me. Made me think of this excellent movie:

The Invention of Lying

which is a story of two people dating in a world where nobody (except the protagonist) has developed the ability to lie.

Jennifer Garner reminded me a lot of my SO when I first met her. Except of course my SO is better looking


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

john117 said:


> I'm mid 50's and likely bailing out in a couple years because when my time cometh, my wife, nurse Florence Frigidaire, will likely let me die or accelerate my fate. That's what her father did. Like father, like...
> 
> So I'll take my chances with a nursing home chick long before I rely on her. If you see a geezer in a Mini Cooper S doing donuts in the nursing home parking lot, that's me.



Ha ha, fair enough. If I happen upon you in said parking lot doing donuts I'll buy you a coffee and some donuts for your trip to the home.

Sometimes it really is better to be left alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

Runs like Dog said:


> Your baggage best have wheels because I'm not carrying it.


Love this.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

_The 31 year old never married/once-divorced woman: “Ok, had my fun, and time’s running out. I really screwed the pooch on this one. I need to get married and that right soon. I need all the help I can get from wherever I can get it. We’ll have sex when I decide. And when we get married I’m going to get pregnant as soon as possible so I can have my kids. Where’s my ring? And what’s the date?”_

As someone who divorced right at 30, I can say this is the furthest thing I was thinking. Marriage and wanting to settle down were not anyone near anything close to what was on my mind when I divorced. In fact, if a guy was looking for a relationship, he was the VERY last guy on my list. HELL to the NO. Which is the irony - when I said I didn't want a relationship/marriage, some guys seemed to push hard for a commitment. WTH?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

When you find something good, lock it down


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

NobodySpecial said:


> When we had little kids, I was all about the minivan. Look at how utilitarian it is! DH said I am not driving a minivan. Ever. Period. If you want to vacation with me, it is never going to be in a minivan. Period. He said it with humor but with no lack of conviction. I guess I did not really need a minivan. I don't even remember what we drove then.


That was exactly how I responded too. lol


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

While very funny, these types are incomplete and only representative of a group of individuals, and not of the entire population of men and women.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Which is the irony - when I said I didn't want a relationship/marriage, some guys seemed to push hard for a commitment. WTH?


 I can explain it with a combination of marketing, psychology and economics: 

For any given thing, one way it's value can be described is by it's difficulty to acquire. Isn't this one reason why women are encouraged to "make him wait"? Because then he'll value you?

One way quality perception of a product can be influenced is by pricing exclusivity. The perception that because this thing is priced so high, it must be high quality, when otherwise quality is relatively difficult to discern.

Is this a good deal or is this a bad deal? This answer is often informed by the willingness of each party to make the deal. A deal will only be struck when the party's agree on value. Willingness or unwillingness influences the perception of value on both sides. High eagerness of the other party to make the deal is interpreted as a signal that one could get better value. The unwillingness of one party to agree to a deal is interpreted by the other as a statement that the value they're offering is less than the value of the unwilling party; A signal that this is a good deal for them if they can make it happen.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

chaos said:


> While very funny, these types are incomplete and only representative of a group of individuals, and not of the entire population of men and women.


There's a heavy dose of cynicism, yes.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> *I can explain it with a combination of marketing, psychology and economics*:
> 
> For any given thing, one way it's value can be described is by it's difficulty to acquire. Isn't this one reason why women are encouraged to "make him wait"? Because then he'll value you?
> 
> ...


I just call it wanting what you can't have.


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## razgor (May 8, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> _The 31 year old never married/once-divorced woman: “Ok, had my fun, and time’s running out. I really screwed the pooch on this one. I need to get married and that right soon. I need all the help I can get from wherever I can get it. We’ll have sex when I decide. And when we get married I’m going to get pregnant as soon as possible so I can have my kids. Where’s my ring? And what’s the date?”_
> 
> As someone who divorced right at 30, I can say this is the furthest thing I was thinking. Marriage and wanting to settle down were not anyone near anything close to what was on my mind when I divorced. In fact, if a guy was looking for a relationship, he was the VERY last guy on my list. HELL to the NO. Which is the irony - when I said I didn't want a relationship/marriage, some guys seemed to push hard for a commitment. WTH?


Men can feel that biological clock ticking too! Even though men can have kids late into life - who wants to be a new dad at 50?!

I became a father late in life and I sure felt the clock running down. Casual sex is great and all, but sometimes you want to start a family!

However, now that I do have a family. I would not feel any rush to get married again if I divorce. In fact, I am very sure I would not be interested in marriage again.


@Dogbert - I had to laugh at the guy with no game too. The marketplace is strange. Guys with tons of game get lots of girls. Guys with no game are truly in Death Valley. I could run game, but I always got annoyed by it. I lost so much respect for a woman when I saw how effective it was. I felt I was working with a child or Pavlo's Dog.


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