# Emotionally Unconnected



## Untouched (Jul 6, 2009)

Hello Everyone, 

I'm 1-year and two days into my marriage and am contiplating a divorce. My husband and I have grown apart over the 5 years we've been together. Finacially, we are set, but there our emotionally connection has been lost for some time. Consequently, I'm starting to lose sexual interest as well. I've never been one for looks and sex, but rather one who looks for that emotional bond, security, and a strong commitment. 

Saturday was out aniversary. All I got was happy anniversary. No card, no gift, no nothing. It's like he doesn't try to make me happy any more. He uses the excuse that I put too much emphasis on holidays. What happened tdoing whatever it takes to make your wife happy--you know, if it's volions she loves let them play? 

The same went for my birthday and Mother's Day (we have a nine month old).

I've lowered my expectations so that I don't end up disappointed; however, I'm getting bored with this entire relationship.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

You may just be upset because your anniversary wasn't all you hoped.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

so what is your H's side to all this?

My H was never big on holidays either. but that's just how he grew up. it took awhile for it to sink in that it was important to me. he plans things all the time now.

also, are you two fighting? i didnt do anything for my H on our first anniversary. but i didnt even know if i wanted to be with him anymore. is your H happy in the relationship? maybe your H is bored too. maybe he's resentful because of a lack of sex?


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I was 11 before I know what day I was born on. My father said he wasn't sure. On my 11th birthday I had a fit so he found my birth certificate and made sure the date was the right one of that month.

some guys are just reallllly bad about things like that.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Preso, surely you had a birthday party at some time? Was it on some convenient day each year? 

I know you probably didn't think of it, but you could have asked any place that you had to register...school, often church, library, etc. Some one has to have a record of your birth date.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

My father said he wasn't sure of the day of the month, that he should check. Fortunatly, he was right, but he did go to city hall to get a copy of my birth certificate. Guess he lost the original
when we moved.

I'm telling you, he would say... 
" I think its the 4th or 6th... hmm... maybe the 6th"
he said he couldn't remember.

My point is: with some people things like that aren't important.
He also didn't celebrate any holidays, said they were too commericalized. He wasn't evil or anything, he just didn't do what most people do and get caught up in the hyped up marketing of major holidays.

I'm not one for gift giving or gift recieveing on major holidays and have to remind my husband to not go and buy me something. I tell him to get a card
and now I recycle the cards as we have them for all major holidays.

who can remember what card you got last year?


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