# female orgasm during intercourse



## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

My wife is only able to orgasm when she is self stimulating her clit. Wondering if any other women are like this, or if it may be something to overcome? Maybe I could do something differently/ start doing something well?

Do many women, during stimulation, get to the cusp of orgasm only to lose it? 

Multiple orgasms: is it common during intercourse with your spouse to have multiple orgasms? If yes or no, why do you think that is?


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

As a woman, I know of a few female friends that are only able to O by c stimulation. I think this is the majority of women? 

I am a multiple type of person. With or without stimulation.
Mechanically, gotta find the right spot. The rest, IMO, is just mental.
Letting it happen. And I think you can kinda teach yourself how to do this. Just like men can teach themselves to prolong it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I used to be this way...until I met Hubs.. He gets me to elevate my butt while on my back and when he penetrates, it hits my gspot--- or some spot that just--- holy crap. I can only orgasm from missionary though...

I've had multiple. They kill me lollll. I also orgasm when giving him a BJ without even touching myself (and without him touching me).


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I also orgasm when giving him a BJ without even touching myself (and without him touching me).


you..... :scratchhead:...hmmmm. Im speechless.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

SockPuppet said:


> you..... :scratchhead:...hmmmm. Im speechless.


I know. I don't know how it happens, but it does. lol. The first time it happened, Hubs was like, "Did you just.... " LOL Yup. I guess I did.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

The Straight Dope: Can some people have orgasms without genital stimulation?

Some women can orgasm after meaningful glances with a guy from across the room, according to this study, which also touches on orgasming during performing oral.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

lol Well, I don't know about other people, I just know about me.


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

My GF usually needs stimulation to orgasm. To facilitate it, Sometimes I will be standing at the end of the bed, with her on her back on the bed, with her heels over my shoulders, and I'll set up a consistent rhythm of hard thrusts while she uses her hand. From there it's like watching a countdown to a spectacular launch.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

70% of women orgasm by clitoral stimulation only. So she is normal. There are several things you can do to stimulate her clitorus, oral, have her on top you manually stimulate her. You both seem to need info on female sexual response. Their are plenty of books and web sites that are helpful. 

You are interested in making sure she has the peak experience of an orgasm with you and that alone is a step in the right direction.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

Before I met my husband, I could only come from clitoral stimulation. But with my husband, I can come through intercourse alone. But I think most women need clitoral stimulation during intercourse to come. Some of it might also be how your bodies are aligned. My husband and I do lots of positions that probably indirectly stimulate my clit while he's thrusting. I don't like to use a vibrator during sex because the orgasm I have that way tend to be short and muted, compared to ones with my husband, which are ROCK. For me, vibrators may get me there quick, but the orgasm is nothing to write home about.

I have only had multiple orgasms during masturbation and only when I was younger. The Os I have with my husband are so intense and all-encompassing, I don't have anything left for another one. I think the ability to have multiples is rare.

In the past, before I married my husband and I had to "work" to get an orgasm, yes, I could be on the brink and then lose it. It's usually a mental thing.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Laurae1967 said:


> In the past, before I married my husband and I had to "work" to get an orgasm, yes, I could be on the brink and then lose it. It's usually a mental thing.


Thats interesting to me.

Im usually alright at manually stimulating her to orgasm, but often times she takes over, because she is worried she will lose the orgasm, and the expression on her face is one of.... work. Its as if she has to focus so much on coming to orgasm that she isnt really there anymore.


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## mr.rightaway (Apr 27, 2010)

SockPuppet said:


> Thats interesting to me.
> 
> Im usually alright at manually stimulating her to orgasm, but often times she takes over, because she is worried she will lose the orgasm, and the expression on her face is one of.... work. Its as if she has to focus so much on coming to orgasm that she isnt really there anymore.


All day is foreplay for women. That's sometimes the hardest part to do for men. Outside of that, elevating her butt is a good idea to bring more stimulation to the clitoris area. Also, when you're thrusting and stimulating her vaginally throughout your session, try to focus on putting continued downward pressure on your lower belly (the part that touches the clitoris during sex). That should help stimulate the clitoris throughout; you're not changing your satisfaction, just adding something extra for her. If she likes having other parts of her body touched/stimulated during sex--nipples for instance--then do that as well. Even better if you do can do it all simultaneously...and sensually. That will take care of the mental part of it.


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## randomtxguy (Sep 24, 2011)

The W and I are in a similar situation. She's never been there with penetration alone, but I can get her to an O without much trouble manually these days. Before we had things "figured out" (still working on it, but getting better each time  ), she would often get to the cusp with clitoral situation, then I would change something and she would loose it. To fix that problem, she started giving me "driving directions" as we went through the act. Now, I have the road map memorized and I can get her there as quickly or as slowly as she wants no matter what traffic looks like.

A word of advice, don't try to make her O the holy grail. The more you two build it up, the bigger the mental block becomes, we went through this trying to get the W to O with penetration alone. If you open up the lines of communication and play with it a bit, good things will happen. Good luck!


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## randomtxguy (Sep 24, 2011)

Also, you may want to look into a couple's enhancer toy. They're basically a ring that is worn by the guy that has a vibrator attached that will stimulate her clit. The ring will make you last longer, the vibrations will drive her wild, and they don't feel half bad for you either. Plus, it ups your chances of having her O with you inside her, always special.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

randomtxguy said:


> Also, you may want to look into a couple's enhancer toy. They're basically a ring that is worn by the guy that has a vibrator attached that will stimulate her clit. The ring will make you last longer, the vibrations will drive her wild, and they don't feel half bad for you either. Plus, it ups your chances of having her O with you inside her, always special.


We use the Lelo Tor, and it works reasonably well... Personally, my favorite toy is her Wee-Vibe Tango, which she uses on herself when I'm inside her. Personally, if she can orgasm as powerfully as she does with that combination, I couldn't care less if she's using a feather boa and a clown nose! And we can orgasm simultaneously. But she has only once had an orgasm without some additional stimulation.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## randomtxguy (Sep 24, 2011)

PBear said:


> We use the Lelo Tor, and it works reasonably well... Personally, my favorite toy is her Wee-Vibe Tango, which she uses on herself when I'm inside her. Personally, if she can orgasm as powerfully as she does with that combination, I couldn't care less if she's using a feather boa and a clown nose! And we can orgasm simultaneously. But she has only once had an orgasm without some additional stimulation.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We have the "El Toro" Vibrator and it works ok when I'm wearing it. We usually start that way, then she takes it and holds it to herself while we finish. Sadly, the only other thing in our toy box is her rabbit, so this is the only toy that we can both play with. Working on that though.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My GF keeps breaking hers/ours... I think we've got 4 or 5 dead ones right now. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

I'm in the lucky 30% I usually have small orgasms which just kind of make me shudder (in a good way!) then I have a huge one. 

Me being on top or having my legs atop his shoulders is what usually works best for me. 

Another good position is you have your wife lie across the bed with her legs hanging off the end. You stand on the floor facing her and when you enter her, put her legs atop your shoulders and stroke her breasts. The clit is also easy to reach from there. 

If you haven't done it yet, learn about the G-Spot and how to access it. There are positions that causes the penis to stimulate it. 

It rarely happens but I have lost my orgasm before. Unless we are being interrupted, it is mental on my part. 
When those times happen, hubby will finish then go down on me or stroke my clit.


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## mr.rightaway (Apr 27, 2010)

randomtxguy said:


> The W and I are in a similar situation. She's never been there with penetration alone, but I can get her to an O without much trouble manually these days. Before we had things "figured out" (still working on it, but getting better each time  ), she would often get to the cusp with clitoral situation, then I would change something and she would loose it. To fix that problem, she started giving me "driving directions" as we went through the act. Now, I have the road map memorized and I can get her there as quickly or as slowly as she wants no matter what traffic looks like.


That's right. It's all about listening to her body, feeling her movements. Figuring out what she responds to. If you're going to aim it, aim to please, and take pleasure in pleasing her. You need to navigate with some of her directions, and if she is having trouble with orgasms through penetration, maybe she doesn't yet know how to drive. But you can teach her. :smthumbup:



randomtxguy said:


> A word of advice, don't try to make her O the holy grail. The more you two build it up, the bigger the mental block becomes, we went through this trying to get the W to O with penetration alone. If you open up the lines of communication and play with it a bit, good things will happen. Good luck!


Also throw some random-ability in there. I personally favor technique over toys. Switch up the pace a bit: regular, high, low, and tease mode. You have to prevent sex from being mechanical. Also switch up the positions. If you have some good stuff, don't use all of your ace moves every time you have sex, but, when it's time for her to climax, do always go to your closer with something you know she likes.


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## IAMCIV (Nov 8, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I know. I don't know how it happens, but it does. lol. The first time it happened, Hubs was like, "Did you just.... " LOL Yup. I guess I did.


It's an amazing feeling to have my wife cuming will she's down there on me, my God.... 

Usually she'll stay down there till she cums and then we'll move on to other things. 

I am so very lucky to be with someone who is able to orgasm so many ways, it makes me fell like a God. 

I know a lot of women say they don't have to orgasm to feel pleasure, but that physical, visable proof that she's turned on at that level drives me crazy. It's like a cycle of sexual energy, it's an amazing feeling.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

SockPuppet said:


> My wife is only able to orgasm when she is self stimulating her clit. Wondering if any other women are like this, or if it may be something to overcome? Maybe I could do something differently/ start doing something well?
> 
> Do many women, during stimulation, get to the cusp of orgasm only to lose it?
> 
> Multiple orgasms: is it common during intercourse with your spouse to have multiple orgasms? If yes or no, why do you think that is?



Does she climax from oral?


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

SockPuppet said:


> Thats interesting to me.
> 
> Im usually alright at manually stimulating her to orgasm, but often times she takes over, because she is worried she will lose the orgasm, and the expression on her face is one of.... work. Its as if she has to focus so much on coming to orgasm that she isnt really there anymore.


Yeah, it's probably a mental thing. She may feel under pressure to have an O (not necessarily because you make her feel that way, but SHE may feel that way). She may also worry that she's taking too long and that you are bored.

It could also be that you aren't hitting all her hot spots and she doesn't want to teach you how to do it the way it feels best because she doesn't want you to feel criticized. 

This is where trust and foreplay come in. Foreplay is an all day affair. Sexy text messages, affectionate and loving touching, showing appreciation for her in general are all libido boosters. And then when you make love, make sure there is no pressure, no expectation, just pure enjoyment. Just knowing that my husband loves to please me and that he would lick me for an hour or more if necessary to make me come takes the pressure off of me. Then there is no NEED to take an hour because I trust that he's enoying everything he's doing to please me and I come in a short amount of time.....unless I am purposely holding out to extend my pleasure. 

Also make sure to tell her how sexy she looks and how good she smells when you are having sex, giving her oral, etc. This type of encouragement will make her feel more trusting and open.

Some guys just don't focus on the woman's pleasure (or don't show it) and make it seem like a getting her "there" is somehow a chore. The fact that my husband gets crazy turned on when he's down on me is a huge turn on. The fact that I get crazy turned on when I'm down on him is a huge turn on for him.


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## mr.rightaway (Apr 27, 2010)

IAMCIV said:


> I am so very lucky to be with someone who is able to orgasm so many ways, it makes me fell like a God.


:smnotworthy:


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

My wife must have clitoral stimulation for orgasm. We use positions that either allow my hand to stimulate her clit or the ability for her to use a vibe or a finger on herself. One position that always works is her on top. Her clit can come into contact with the base of my c**k that way and I can suck on her perfect little tits. She orgasms in about 5 minutes when I do that!


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## mr.rightaway (Apr 27, 2010)

These things are fairly simple and you can do them to where they don't feel forced or awkward. Cusp your hands underneath her butt when in missionary. Draw her firmly to you when you thrust. It provides a bit of leverage and will help put pressure on the clitoris. It's more intimate than a pillow. Then kiss her if she likes to kiss, on the lips, neck, and her breasts. If you were doing all of that all-day foreplay stuff ahead of time, you're in better shape.

In doggy style, you can wrap your hand around her front leg and rub her clit, taking the work off of her (she doesn't have to do a thing), and you can kiss her on her shoulders. You don't even have to move too much, and you will be inside her when you are guiding her to ecstasy.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

Meg said:


> :smthumbup: LOVE this! What kind of man would EVER leave -- or cheat -- on a woman like THAT???
> 
> Sure, it *could* happen. But, a woman who makes her man feel like a God?? That's MY new goal!


Yeah, that's a good goal. My last GF before my wife was very good at that. She said some great things in bed (that perhaps she said to all her past BFs) but they totally made me feel like a god.

And she was pretty orgasmic. So that helped.


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## teahead (Nov 28, 2011)

I really think it has to do with the position of the pubic bone and the size/shape/location of the clitoris.

My wife can get off if I'm on top or if she's on top, but not doggie, so it really has to do with my pubic bone rubbing on her clit.

If a man is just thrusting, he's not going to be stimulating that clit much. I think it's rare for women to get off w/o that clit getting some friction, so one has to concentrate on grinding in a rhythmic kind of way.

Heck though, the fact that your woman can get off at all is a good thing. Many women can't even do that for a variety of reasons.


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## IAMCIV (Nov 8, 2011)

Meg said:


> :smthumbup: LOVE this! What kind of man would EVER leave -- or cheat -- on a woman like THAT???
> 
> Sure, it *could* happen. But, a woman who makes her man feel like a God?? That's MY new goal!


I ain't going no where!

I am so lucky, my wife once said, "I can cum just looking at your c*ck."

She cums from intercourse, all kinds of positions, she cums while down on me, while I'm down on her, she cums from breast play, all I have to do is play with them for a bit and she's off and cumming, she cums from giving me a hand job, she cums form using her breast to squeeze my unit... God damn I'm a lucky man...

It's on thing to have a wife willing to give you a BJ or let you slide between their breast, but it's a whole different level of satisfaction knowing she's so into me, she's cumming from these things which are supposed to be for me. Sometimes I can't tell who's loving it more me or her. I think its a tie.:smthumbup:


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## IAMCIV (Nov 8, 2011)

SockPuppet said:


> My wife is only able to orgasm when she is self stimulating her clit. Wondering if any other women are like this, or if it may be something to overcome? Maybe I could do something differently/ start doing something well?
> 
> Do many women, during stimulation, get to the cusp of orgasm only to lose it?
> 
> Multiple orgasms: is it common during intercourse with your spouse to have multiple orgasms? If yes or no, why do you think that is?


Every woman is unique and respond to differently to stimulus. I would say focus on pleasure and the orgasms will cum. Some woman cum only from clitoral stimulation others respond differently. That's the beauty of marriage. It's a lifetime (hopefully) of learning anothers body and what makes them tick. Learning my wifes body has been a joyus journey.

And I feel I have some experience here. I payattention to her responses to this touch, that lick, all of it. I know if I for example start rough, she'll say it hurts, but if I wait till her body tells me, roughing it up will send her over the top.

I listen to my wife's body and not every time I do this, that will happen. I believe it's 90% mental. If your wife is having orgasms be happy. But getting to know her responses is the key to unlocking the o's. If she's on the cusp of orgasm and looses it tell her to relax enjoy what is making her feel so good in the first place. Forget about orgasming at all, just enjoy the moment. Let there be no pressure or expectaion of an o. Just enjoy each other and the love you share. The o's will cum.


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## mr.rightaway (Apr 27, 2010)

teahead said:


> My wife can get off if I'm on top or if she's on top, but not doggie, so it really has to do with my pubic bone rubbing on her clit.
> 
> If a man is just thrusting, he's not going to be stimulating that clit much. I think it's rare for women to get off w/o that clit getting some friction, so one has to concentrate on grinding in a rhythmic kind of way.


I think you put it a bit better than I did. As far as doggy style, it is harder for a lot of women to orgasm in that position. To elude further, when in doggy style it might help to "cusp" the four extending fingers over her clit area. The middle finger rubs the clit (switch it up--up and down, circular, counter-clockwise--use a moderate amount of pressure) and you can move the other three fingers around randomly. Also, while doing that you need to put pressure with those fingers/your palm and draw her into your hard penis. While you are thrusting, keep pulling her into you while stimulating her. The other pressure point is your arm against her leg. This sounds all scheduled when you write it out, but it's not. Do it with finess, no herkey jerky, and it needs to be natural and flowing and more of an unconscious thing in sensing how she's moving. You just need to focus on her pleasure.



IAMCIV said:


> ...learning another's body and what makes them tick. Learning my wife's body has been a joyous journey.
> 
> ...I pay attention to her responses to this touch, that lick, all of it...
> 
> ...I listen to my wife's body and not every time I do this, that will happen. I believe it's 90% mental. If your wife is having orgasms be happy. But getting to know her responses is the key to unlocking the o's. If she's on the cusp of orgasm and looses it tell her to relax enjoy what is making her feel so good in the first place. Forget about orgasming at all, just enjoy the moment. Let there be no pressure or expectaion of an o. Just enjoy each other and the love you share. The o's will cum.


You have to get her whole body involved, including touching and caressing with hands throughout intercourse; running your fingers through her hair; grabbing her hair, etc. This subconsciously activates her mind in feeling multiple sensations, not just the sensation of your penis. It's all about the build-up, and if she loses it, be honored to be making love to her and be willing to wait as long as it takes for her to get to that big moment(s).

If your girl likes it a bit more rough, do that. If she likes toys, do that. Her pleasure first, not yours.


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## Kaincops (Dec 1, 2011)

no sex ..-
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

SockPuppet said:


> My wife is only able to orgasm when she is self stimulating her clit. Wondering if any other women are like this, or if it may be something to overcome? Maybe I could do something differently/ start doing something well?
> 
> Do many women, during stimulation, get to the cusp of orgasm only to lose it?


Sometimes, but that's usually only when I'm not relaxed. When I'm trying to force it, it almost never actually happens. 



SockPuppet said:


> Multiple orgasms: is it common during intercourse with your spouse to have multiple orgasms? If yes or no, why do you think that is?


Yes, but currently the only position I can vaginally orgasm is when I'm on top. I can have multiple orgasms though. I think...it's because he's deep inside of me and huge.


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## monkeyface (Dec 2, 2011)

I am the same way when it comes to needing clitoral stimulation but I am thankful that I have very powerful and multiple O's so I'm not complaining! We've tried many different positions to enhance the friction on my clit with the pelvic bone, trying pillows, trying to hit the g-spot etc...but honestly it hasn't worked for us. It's easier to just stimulate it myself and hubby kind of likes watching me touch myself too. Win win!  I usually have one long toe curling orgasm and then after a minute if I start rubbing again they come fast and hard every minute or so but are just not as long...I can have up to 6 or 7 if time permits!  I can also come during oral this way (only hubby does the stimulating then obviously) and it drives him wild to make me cum so many times! I think he feels like a God then too, LOL!

I will usually have a hard time cumming or "lose" the orgasm if I'd had too much wine, I'm upset about something or we've gone too fast (not enough foreplay, etc) It's extremely frustrating!!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Orgasms rule. That is all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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