# A Peek into the Male Mind- Mlc



## thissucks7788

Hi guys,

Woman here--- (I hope it is okay to post on this forum-- I admit I didn't read the rules)

No need to get into my 10 hour sob story-but just for sh&ts and giggles, I need a peek into the male mind. This is one of the main things I can't wrap my head around as a woman so... Why on earth would a 50 year old guy be interested in a 20 year old (besides sex) who lives at home with her parents - to actually leave a really good relationship (with good sex, laughs, fun times and a wife who looks good  What goes on in the head of someone having a mlc like this? I mean, I've read of this stereotypical mlc behavior but I can't imagine trying to date someone who is 5 years older than my son. Do guys think this makes them look young/feel young? What gives?

Also, what goes on in the male mind when 20 year old doesn't reciprocate and you left your wife for the hope of this happening. I mean this makes no difference to the situation whatsoever but enquiring minds want to know. Please give me the inside scoop just for fun--- Thanks!


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## ConanHub

Sounds like old fool syndrome to me.

Some, both men and women, lose their damn minds and blow up their lives during or even after midlife, chasing after a fantasy.

I'm 51 and over the last 10 years I've had my fair share of young ladies make a pass. 

I'm about as married as anyone can get so I shut them down so they could shake their tails somewhere else.

Even if I was single, I don't think I would even entertain the idea if a woman wasn't at least in her 30's and had her head on straight.

I have to conclude that your husband just got obsessed and built up a fantasy so much that he started believing it.

Chuck Norris got away with marrying a woman 23 years younger than him but she was 35 at the time and I somehow doubt your husband has anywhere near the pull old Chuck did.😉


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## thunderchad

Someone did a study and found that men of every age are most attracted to 20 year Olds. I'll admit the same. But thats just attraction.

As for why a man would leave his wife for unrequited love, I don't know. Are you sure there isn't more to the story? 

A 20 year old would hook up with or date the right 50 year old.


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## jonty30

thissucks7788 said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> Woman here--- (I hope it is okay to post on this forum-- I admit I didn't read the rules)
> 
> No need to get into my 10 hour sob story-but just for sh&ts and giggles, I need a peek into the male mind. This is one of the main things I can't wrap my head around as a woman so... Why on earth would a 50 year old guy be interested in a 20 year old (besides sex) who lives at home with her parents - to actually leave a really good relationship (with good sex, laughs, fun times and a wife who looks good  What goes on in the head of someone having a mlc like this? I mean, I've read of this stereotypical mlc behavior but I can't imagine trying to date someone who is 5 years older than my son. Do guys think this makes them look young/feel young? What gives?
> 
> Also, what goes on in the male mind when 20 year old doesn't reciprocate and you left your wife for the hope of this happening. I mean this makes no difference to the situation whatsoever but enquiring minds want to know. Please give me the inside scoop just for fun--- Thanks!


For the most part, it's just sex. 
The old man is not seriously considering marrying a young woman, most of the time. 
At some point, the old man expects her to move on., most of the time.
He's just sowing his oats with no commitment in mind.


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## thissucks7788

ConanHub said:


> Sounds like old fool syndrome to me.
> 
> Some, both men and women, lose their damn minds and blow up their lives during or even after midlife, chasing after a fantasy.
> 
> I'm 51 and over the last 10 years I've had my fair share of young ladies make a pass.
> 
> I'm about as married as anyone can get so I shut them down so they could shake their tails somewhere else.
> 
> Even if I was single, I don't think I would even entertain the idea if a woman wasn't at least in her 30's and had her head on straight.
> 
> I have to conclude that your husband just got obsessed and built up a fantasy so much that he started believing it.
> 
> Chuck Norris got away with marrying a woman 23 years younger than him but she was 35 at the time and I somehow doubt your husband has anywhere near the pull old Chuck did.😉


Thank you! Very interesting insight. See as a woman I think I would get some Botox and maybe change my job or something like that, so I can't figure out the story behind a 20 year old. Someone in their mid-late 30's yes, but living at home with parents, can't order a beer and 5 years difference in age of son--cmon! I think you're right about the fantasy part-- he even said as much (although he thought it was a soul mate connection--lol) Funny my H is a karate guy but he is no Chuck Norris--lol!!!!


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## jonty30

thissucks7788 said:


> Thank you! Very interesting insight. See as a woman I think I would get some Botox and maybe change my job or something like that, so I can't figure out the story behind a 20 year old. Someone in their mid-late 30's yes, but living at home with parents, can't order a beer and 5 years difference in age of son--cmon! I think you're right about the fantasy part-- he even said as much (although he thought it was a soul mate connection--lol) Funny my H is a karate guy but he is no Chuck Norris--lol!!!!


50 years old is a last chance to prove one's youth for men and women. 
50 years old is one of the primary ages that both sexes will cheat, because they want that one last kick at the can before they start to accept that they aren't young any morre.


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## ccpowerslave

There is a legitimate biological “making children” reality about younger women that makes them sexually attractive but in terms of “dating” them, uh… hell no.

At my age now (50) I don’t think I would actually be serious about any woman who wasn’t in her early 40s or mid 40s like my wife. As a companion I just don’t see it. As you say OP there are plenty of smoking hot women in that age range and also far past that who have life experience and aren’t children.

With that said I have a couple of friends who after their first divorces went out immediately with women who were 24-25. They had sex with them a lot and then got tired of them, which isn’t surprising they’re basically still kids. One of them hooked up with a 35 year old and he’s now twice divorced.

So there is definitely something there that is a real thing but I don’t have it.


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## thissucks7788

thunderchad said:


> Someone did a study and found that men of every age are most attracted to 20 year Olds. I'll admit the same. But thats just attraction.
> 
> As for why a man would leave his wife for unrequited love, I don't know. Are you sure there isn't more to the story?
> 
> A 20 year old would hook up with or date the right 50 year old.


Interesting-- I mean a 20 year old =good to look at but date? This is I think where the sexes may differ. When I was in my late 20's and unmarried -,my boss who was in his mid 40s and a good looking guy was making the moves on me. I seriously thought, he is good looking but way to old for me and I was a little creeped out. Perhaps some women feel differently -- maybe they think the guy has a lot of money. Thank you for your insight.


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## ConanHub

thissucks7788 said:


> Thank you! Very interesting insight. See as a woman I think I would get some Botox and maybe change my job or something like that, so I can't figure out the story behind a 20 year old. Someone in their mid-late 30's yes, but living at home with parents, can't order a beer and 5 years difference in age of son--cmon! I think you're right about the fantasy part-- he even said as much (although he thought it was a soul mate connection--lol) Funny my H is a karate guy but he is no Chuck Norris--lol!!!!


I'm feeling the pull of muscle cars and motorcycles myself but 20 year olds aren't generating any gravity for this older barbarian.


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## Mr. Nail

.


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## thissucks7788

Good stuff guys, thank you!!


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## TexasMom1216

I think when we realize that we’re aging and we’re closer to death than birth, male or female, we panic. It manifests itself in different ways. I’m in the exercise-diet-Botox-plastic surgery camp. My husband has lost his mind with travel and is constantly dragging us all over to “see everything.” Some people, men and women, seek validation of their attractiveness by chasing after younger sex partners. Sometimes they even leave their marriages and try to start over by pretending they’re at the same place in life as the much younger person. It’s not an exclusively male problem. Women do it too. Facing your own mortality is tough for everyone. Plus looking in the mirror and seeing an old person is super upsetting.


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## ccpowerslave

ConanHub said:


> I'm feeling the pull of muscle cars and motorcycles myself but 20 year olds aren't generating any gravity for this older barbarian.


I started having that around 35 and it lasted 10 years.


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## ccpowerslave

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting-- I mean a 20 year old =good to look at but date?


I don’t even like to look, it makes me feel like a creepy old guy.


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## Diana7

thunderchad said:


> Someone did a study and found that men of every age are most attracted to 20 year Olds. I'll admit the same. But thats just attraction.
> 
> As for why a man would leave his wife for unrequited love, I don't know. Are you sure there isn't more to the story?
> 
> A 20 year old would hook up with or date the right 50 year old.


No 20 year old would date a 50 year unless he was very rich/famous.


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## TexasMom1216

Diana7 said:


> No 20 year old would date a 50 year unless he was very rich/famous.


It’s a very old profession.


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## ccpowerslave

TexasMom1216 said:


> I think when we realize that we’re aging and we’re closer to death than birth, male or female, we panic. It manifests itself in different ways. I’m in the exercise-diet-Botox-plastic surgery camp. My husband has lost his mind with travel and is constantly dragging us all over to “see everything.” Some people, men and women, seek validation of their attractiveness by chasing after younger sex partners. Sometimes they even leave their marriages and try to start over by pretending they’re at the same place in life as the much younger person. It’s not an exclusively male problem. Women do it too. Facing your own mortality is tough for everyone. Plus looking in the mirror and seeing an old person is super upsetting.


I think there is maybe a difference in that the same studies cited above show women finding older guys attractive for longer. This is the hope I cling to.


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## TexasMom1216

ccpowerslave said:


> I think there is maybe a difference in that the same studies cited above show women finding older guys attractive for longer. This is the hope I cling to.


Sweetie, it’s not you they find attractive. It’s your money. It’s an old profession.


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## thunderchad

Diana7 said:


> No 20 year old would date a 50 year unless he was very rich/famous.


I would say this is half true.

The real truth is the man has to be a high value man to attract much younger women. A 20 year old is probably not going to date a 50 year old mcdonalds worker but she might date a 50 year old with social proof and decent resources, not necessarily "rich."


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## ccpowerslave

TexasMom1216 said:


> Sweetie, it’s not you they find attractive. It’s your money. It’s an old profession.


That’s a good point. 

There used to be a younger lady working at Starbucks and I generally dress like garbage (old heavy metal shirts). She never gave me the time of day or anything. 

One day I went in and I was wearing a solid gold Rolex GMT with a green dial. She handed me my cold brew and saw the watch and said, “nice watch”. After that day she was always super nice to me and such, I think she finally saw my true personality and appreciated what a great person I am.


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## thissucks7788

ccpowerslave said:


> I think there is maybe a difference in that the same studies cited above show women finding older guys attractive for longer. This is the hope I cling to.


I personally like a more mature guy- but okay if I am honest, not old. I would never ever ever consider though someone in their 20's (I'm in my 40's). I can appreciate a good looking kid but never to date. Seems so ridiculous but again that is why I am asking for opinions on the guy forum.


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## ConanHub

I look at everybody regardless of age but I know when I'm looking at a kid or not. I also never look at anyone but my wife like I'm shopping.


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## ConanHub

ccpowerslave said:


> That’s a good point.
> 
> There used to be a younger lady working at Starbucks and I generally dress like garbage (old heavy metal shirts). She never gave me the time of day or anything.
> 
> One day I went in and I was wearing a solid gold Rolex GMT with a green dial. She handed me my cold brew and saw the watch and said, “nice watch”. After that day she was always super nice to me and such, I think she finally saw my true personality and appreciated what a great person I am.


You're killing me!😆


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## TexasMom1216

ccpowerslave said:


> That’s a good point.
> 
> There used to be a younger lady working at Starbucks and I generally dress like garbage (old heavy metal shirts). She never gave me the time of day or anything.
> 
> One day I went in and I was wearing a solid gold Rolex GMT with a green dial. She handed me my cold brew and saw the watch and said, “nice watch”. After that day she was always super nice to me and such, I think she finally saw my true personality and appreciated what a great person I am.


😂😂😂😂😂. Yep. Oldest profession.


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## ccpowerslave

ConanHub said:


> You're killing me!😆


That happened to me one other time but with my car. I was driving a Porsche 911S at the time and I drove in to work and got out. This girl who worked there saw and was like, “Holy **** that is your car?” Then she got super flirty to the point where it was borderline out of line.

I solved this by driving a dirty Chevy truck now. Never happens anymore.


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## thissucks7788

ccpowerslave said:


> That happened to me one other time but with my car. I was driving a Porsche 911S at the time and I drove in to work and got out. This girl who worked there saw and was like, “Holy **** that is your car?” Then she got super flirty to the point where it was borderline out of line.
> 
> I solved this by driving a dirty Chevy truck now. Never happens anymore.


Old metal shirts you say in your prior post--- is powerslave an Iron Maiden reference?


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## happyhusband0005

thissucks7788 said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> Woman here--- (I hope it is okay to post on this forum-- I admit I didn't read the rules)
> 
> No need to get into my 10 hour sob story-but just for sh&ts and giggles, I need a peek into the male mind. This is one of the main things I can't wrap my head around as a woman so... Why on earth would a 50 year old guy be interested in a 20 year old (besides sex) who lives at home with her parents - to actually leave a really good relationship (with good sex, laughs, fun times and a wife who looks good  What goes on in the head of someone having a mlc like this? I mean, I've read of this stereotypical mlc behavior but I can't imagine trying to date someone who is 5 years older than my son. Do guys think this makes them look young/feel young? What gives?
> 
> Also, what goes on in the male mind when 20 year old doesn't reciprocate and you left your wife for the hope of this happening. I mean this makes no difference to the situation whatsoever but enquiring minds want to know. Please give me the inside scoop just for fun--- Thanks!


I for one could never consider hooking up with a 20 year old not in a million years. That is Just the thought of being with a woman who wasn't even a thought in her parents mind when I was 20 makes me kind sick. Probably the fact she would only be a few years older than my own kids. 

I think your husband is delusional and thinks he will eventually bag a girl with severe daddy issues so he is going for it. He doesn't seem to value a loving life partner.


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## ConanHub

My youngest son's fiance is 23. I can't really comprehend 50 year old men even hooking up with women that age.


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## ccpowerslave

thissucks7788 said:


> Old metal shirts you say--- is powerslave an Iron Maiden reference?


Yes. I am a fairly large fan of the band. My stable of Iron Maiden shirts right now is probably around 20. 

My wife has one long sleeve baseball shirt from the World Slavery Tour she wears occasionally. I got it for her when she returned from Egypt since it has all the hieroglyphs and such on it. It was my Trojan horse to get her to wear an Iron Maiden shirt. When she wears it I am like “tee hee hee my wife has an Iron Maiden shirt” and the 18 year old me who always wanted a KNAC era LA metal chick girlfriend is nodding in approval.


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## Casual Observer

TexasMom1216 said:


> I think when we realize that we’re aging and we’re closer to death than birth, male or female, we panic. It manifests itself in different ways. I’m in the exercise-diet-Botox-plastic surgery camp. My husband has lost his mind with travel and is constantly dragging us all over to “see everything.” Some people, men and women, seek validation of their attractiveness by chasing after younger sex partners. Sometimes they even leave their marriages and try to start over by pretending they’re at the same place in life as the much younger person. It’s not an exclusively male problem. Women do it too. Facing your own mortality is tough for everyone. Plus looking in the mirror and seeing an old person is super upsetting.


Could it also be that the 20 year old woman is the image of the guy's wife when they met? As in that, I haven't changed (the guy), you did, you didn't keep thinking like that 20 year old woman after you started juggling job and kids and home life. We've seen a lot of remarks about not wanting to get involved with the mentality of a 20 year old woman (and this isn't knocking women; a 20 year old guy might be worse!), yet that mentality may be what the guy initially fell in love with.


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## thissucks7788

ConanHub said:


> My youngest son's fiance is 23. I can't really comprehend 50 year old men even hooking up with women that age.


Seriously. When I questioned the situation, my H was like "cmon, she's a kid" so I believed this-- I was like, yeah she's a kid. The thought is ridiculous. But-- I was right, which sucked. I appreciate men who are not looking to pick up such young girls. I can't comprehend it either. My son is like-- she is 5 years older than me- I can date her. It is so ridiculous that is why I just had to post to get into the male mind.


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## thissucks7788

Casual Observer said:


> Could it also be that the 20 year old woman is the image of the guy's wife when they met? As in that, I haven't changed (the guy), you did, you didn't keep thinking like that 20 year old woman after you started juggling job and kids and home life. We've seen a lot of remarks about not wanting to get involved with the mentality of a 20 year old woman (and this isn't knocking women; a 20 year old guy might be worse!), yet that mentality may be what the guy initially fell in love with.


Interesting point-- funny-- certain physical traits are similar to me when I was that age. Although I still look mostly the same (just a little blonder). However it is true that mentally I am different--sort of have to when you get older and have real responsibilities etc.... Maybe he prefers someone he could "mentor". Too bad for him that she doesn't appear to be interested in a romantic relationship. Too bad--so sad--lol. Interesting point though.


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## DownByTheRiver

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting-- I mean a 20 year old =good to look at but date? This is I think where the sexes may differ. When I was in my late 20's and unmarried -,my boss who was in his mid 40s and a good looking guy was making the moves on me. I seriously thought, he is good looking but way to old for me and I was a little creeped out. Perhaps some women feel differently -- maybe they think the guy has a lot of money. Thank you for your insight.


It's sex,plus it makes them feel like they still have it. I had this seasonal job once where the only younger woman sat at the receptionist desk. All the men were I'd say 40 and up. The men never just went around and chatted with any of the other women there, but they were always to be found chatting up the only young woman there. They were always camped out at the receptionist desk. The women in the office their own age didn't even exist to them. 

No fool like an old fool.


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## thissucks7788

ccpowerslave said:


> Yes. I am a fairly large fan of the band. My stable of Iron Maiden shirts right now is probably around 20.
> 
> My wife has one long sleeve baseball shirt from the World Slavery Tour she wears occasionally. I got it for her when she returned from Egypt since it has all the hieroglyphs and such on it. It was my Trojan horse to get her to wear an Iron Maiden shirt. When she wears it I am like “tee hee hee my wife has an Iron Maiden shirt” and the 18 year old me who always wanted a KNAC era LA metal chick girlfriend is nodding in approval.


I have never seen Iron Maiden but you are talking to someone who went to Monsters of Rock --10 hours of metal concert!! I need to thank Iron Maiden though- I got more jeopardy answers right (the tv show) thanks to their smarter than average songs. Learned the whole Rime of the Ancient Mariner poem thanks to them.


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## DownByTheRiver

thissucks7788 said:


> Seriously. When I questioned the situation, my H was like "cmon, she's a kid" so I believed this-- I was like, yeah she's a kid. The thought is ridiculous. But-- I was right, which sucked. I appreciate men who are not looking to pick up such young girls. I can't comprehend it either. My son is like-- she is 5 years older than me- I can date her. It is so ridiculous that is why I just had to post to get into the male mind.


And I bet your husband will creep out some woman who is trying to date your son or one of her little friends before this is all over.


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## thissucks7788

DownByTheRiver said:


> It's sex,plus it makes them feel like they still have it. I had this seasonal job once where the only younger woman sat at the receptionist desk. All the men were I'd say 40 and up. The men never just went around and chatted with any of the other women there, but they were always to be found chatting up the only young woman there. They were always camped out at the receptionist desk. The women in the office their own age didn't even exist to them.
> 
> No fool like an old fool.


That's so lame, that it is hilarious! I had no idea the power I wielded when I was 20.(eye roll)


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## happyhusband0005

TexasMom1216 said:


> I think when we realize that we’re aging and we’re closer to death than birth, male or female, we panic. It manifests itself in different ways. I’m in the exercise-diet-Botox-plastic surgery camp. My husband has lost his mind with travel and is constantly dragging us all over to “see everything.” Some people, men and women, seek validation of their attractiveness by chasing after younger sex partners. Sometimes they even leave their marriages and try to start over by pretending they’re at the same place in life as the much younger person. It’s not an exclusively male problem. Women do it too. Facing your own mortality is tough for everyone. Plus looking in the mirror and seeing an old person is super upsetting.


Not to mention Milf and Gilf porn has really opened up the possibilities for women too. The 20-30 year old guys are also chasing the 40-50+ year old women too.


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## thissucks7788

You are all so helpful and fun, thank you!!


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## TexasMom1216

Casual Observer said:


> Could it also be that the 20 year old woman is the image of the guy's wife when they met? As in that, I haven't changed (the guy), you did, you didn't keep thinking like that 20 year old woman after you started juggling job and kids and home life. We've seen a lot of remarks about not wanting to get involved with the mentality of a 20 year old woman (and this isn't knocking women; a 20 year old guy might be worse!), yet that mentality may be what the guy initially fell in love with.


Yeah, I don’t think turning this into some sort of twisted “tribute” to his wife makes this better. Basically you’re saying the wife became an adult and the man wanted her to stay a child. Gross.


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## thissucks7788

ConanHub said:


> Sounds like old fool syndrome to me.
> 
> Some, both men and women, lose their damn minds and blow up their lives during or even after midlife, chasing after a fantasy.
> 
> I'm 51 and over the last 10 years I've had my fair share of young ladies make a pass.
> 
> I'm about as married as anyone can get so I shut them down so they could shake their tails somewhere else.
> 
> Even if I was single, I don't think I would even entertain the idea if a woman wasn't at least in her 30's and had her head on straight.
> 
> I have to conclude that your husband just got obsessed and built up a fantasy so much that he started believing it.
> 
> Chuck Norris got away with marrying a woman 23 years younger than him but she was 35 at the time and I somehow doubt your husband has anywhere near the pull old Chuck did.😉


Conanhub- After re-reading posts I think this line that you where you stated "I have to conclude that your husband just got obsessed and built up a fantasy so much that he started believing it." is what happened here. He used the word fantasy and he was getting obsessive imo. It is shocking that he started believing it. Everyone here made great points, but upon reflection- I think this nails it! Just sayin.


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## Sfort

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting point-- funny-- certain physical traits are similar to me when I was that age. Although I still look mostly the same (just a little blonder). However it is true that mentally I am different--sort of have to when you get older and have real responsibilities etc.... Maybe he prefers someone he could "mentor". Too bad for him that she doesn't appear to be interested in a romantic relationship. Too bad--so sad--lol. Interesting point though.


I don't know anything, but I think you're overthinking the situation. When most men were 20 or so, they were having the times of their lives with 20 or so year old women. The attraction is sex. Many men look at 20-somethings and long for the past. The truthful ones will admit that they are reminded of the good old days, even if those days were with their wives. If men could be arrested for their thoughts, the jails would be full.


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## TexasMom1216

DownByTheRiver said:


> It's sex,plus it makes them feel like they still have it. I had this seasonal job once where the only younger woman sat at the receptionist desk. All the men were I'd say 40 and up. The men never just went around and chatted with any of the other women there, but they were always to be found chatting up the only young woman there. They were always camped out at the receptionist desk. The women in the office their own age didn't even exist to them.
> 
> No fool like an old fool.


“Seriously, that stripper was really into me, man!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


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## Casual Observer

thissucks7788 said:


> That's so lame, that it is hilarious! I had no idea the power I wielded when I was 20.(eye roll)


You are better off that you didn’t. When young women discover sexuality that sexuality can be all about power and control, it can subvert the bonding and mutuality and turn it into something ugly.

Perhaps fair is fair; there’s enough crap from a male-dominated world that women have to live under, after all. But some of us (guys) are suffering from the sins of others in ways that really hurt.


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## Casual Observer

TexasMom1216 said:


> Yeah, I don’t think turning this into some sort of twisted “tribute” to his wife makes this better. Basically you’re saying the wife became an adult and the man wanted her to stay a child. Gross.


Tribute? Hell no! It’s about one person growing up and not the other. If you’ve fallen in love with just a part of who that person is, if you haven’t taken the time to watch his or her thinking evolve, you might have issues down the road.


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## TexasMom1216

Casual Observer said:


> Tribute? Hell no! It’s about one person growing up and not the other. If you’ve fallen in love with just a part of who that person is, if you haven’t taken the time to watch his or her thinking evolve, you might have issues down the road.


Ok, fair point. We agree that wanting his wife to not mature because he didn’t is gross.


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## DownByTheRiver

thissucks7788 said:


> That's so lame, that it is hilarious! I had no idea the power I wielded when I was 20.(eye roll)


You wouldn't have even looked at those guys at 20. I remember when I was 28 which is pretty old and mature, there was someone involved with one of the bands in our crowd who was about 32 and married and so him and his wife but mostly him were around a lot, and he just seemed so old to me. There are generational things that change from year to year that separate people from different ages and mark them for those who are paying attention but maybe that's sort of thing is more difficult to see now with the internet.


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## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> “Seriously, that stripper was really into me, man!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


She was really..... she couldn't keep her hands out of his pants......where his wallet was......😋


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## DownByTheRiver

TexasMom1216 said:


> Yeah, I don’t think turning this into some sort of twisted “tribute” to his wife makes this better. Basically you’re saying the wife became an adult and the man wanted her to stay a child. Gross.


Young naive women are much easier for men to control and influence. But mainly they just like the flawless bodies..


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## DownByTheRiver

TexasMom1216 said:


> “Seriously, that stripper was really into me, man!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


Yeah, into your pocket. We've actually had a couple of young guys on here who were convinced some stripper was serious about them. To be fair strippers and some sex workers have been really educated on what will work to get a man to open his pocketbook. And it's men who train them. They we'll all tell the man they deserve so much better than their wife or girlfriend, lie and tell him how attractive he is and how good he is, and they all have a sob story to try to make themselves into just a regular decent girl who just happens to be a prostitute now because of circumstances beyond their control, and for the married ones, they will always promise sincerely that no one will ever know.

So it's pretty easy to fall prey to them because they know what they're doing.


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## DownByTheRiver

ConanHub said:


> She was really..... she couldn't keep her hands out of his pants......where his wallet was......😋


Exactly.


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## Casual Observer

DownByTheRiver said:


> Young naive women are much easier for men to control and influence. But mainly they just like the flawless bodies..


Older, we’ll-off men are easier for a young woman to control and influence, if they realize their bodies, which they find all sorts of faults with themselves, appear to those guys as illegally-modified racing cars that offer promises of a thrilling experience.


----------



## lifeistooshort

DownByTheRiver said:


> Young naive women are much easier for men to control and influence. But mainly they just like the flawless bodies..


The way society is going there ain't many flawless bodies at any age.

I see an awful lot of young women who've already let themselves go.


----------



## TexasMom1216

DownByTheRiver said:


> Young naive women are much easier for men to control and influence. But mainly they just like the flawless bodies..


And bully. And use. And lie to. 😠


----------



## Casual Observer

TexasMom1216 said:


> And bully. And use. And lie to. 😠


Sample size of one, my wife (then gf) was fully trained in the survival skills of power and control by age 20. What we’re talking about here are abusive relationships, and 50 year old guys don’t have a monopoly on that.

This is perhaps a reasonable argument to make to anyone in the situation described in this thread. Who has the power? What does it come from? What are the repercussions to each party? In a nutshell, think about the inherent fairness and whom is controlling who.


----------



## thissucks7788

lifeistooshort said:


> The way society is going there ain't many flawless bodies at any age.
> 
> I see an awful lot of young women who've already let themselves go.


I second this!!! Like you, I’m big into exercise —so I notice.


----------



## Bulfrog1987

At 20, I dated a 41 yo, who then became my husband of just shy of 15 years. Chemistry, biologics, IDK, it's all funny. He was broke as a joke when we got together. I truly was not the immature 20yo female most think of when it comes to mind, immature in other ways of course but.. I can't explain it. Of course some of you have read my story, it ended abruptly last month and I'm still in shock. 

I don't think I'll every really know what drove his bus, but for us, I loved him, unconditionally, without expectation for so long and he's never had that. Never had a woman fully accept him for him, now those kinds of things did evolve over the years, I realized I was giving far more than I ever received and it became exhausting, constantly pouring out. Anyhow, again, our relationship certainly was unique in many faucets, but not in others of this type of scenario. I support and helped build the career he always wanted, I was a great piece of arm candy but with brains and I followed him all over, never dismissing his dreams. Some guys thrive off that, and I didn't know any better at the same time.


----------



## Diana7

ccpowerslave said:


> I think there is maybe a difference in that the same studies cited above show women finding older guys attractive for longer. This is the hope I cling to.


30 years???? I doubt it.


----------



## Bounceback67

I am 60, in my opinion women in their 20s look great but Women 40 + are Way More Sexy !


----------



## Diana7

thunderchad said:


> I would say this is half true.
> 
> The real truth is the man has to be a high value man to attract much younger women. A 20 year old is probably not going to date a 50 year old mcdonalds worker but she might date a 50 year old with social proof and decent resources, not necessarily "rich."


Hmm I doubt it but many men keep hoping. 😉


----------



## Bulfrog1987

Bounceback67 said:


> I am 60, in my opinion women in their 20s look great but Women 40 + are Way More Sexy !


Well then, only 5 mores years to go for me  Maybe there really is light at the end of the longest tunnel of my life!?


----------



## ConanHub

Bulfrog1987 said:


> Well then, only 5 mores years to go for me  Maybe there really is light at the end of the longest tunnel of my life!?


I am positive 60 year old men would be drooling over you right now if they thought they had a shot.😋


----------



## Bulfrog1987

ConanHub said:


> I am positive 60 year old men would be drooling over you right now if they thought they had a shot.😋


I dread even thought of getting to a point where I'd give even a dude my own age a shot HAHA.

Spinster in the making I think.


----------



## Diana7

My dad went through a MLC and was a nightmare to live with. He went days and weeks without talking to anyone, was really moody, and I think its likely that's when his very long affair had started. Not a time I even like to think about. 
I hate the whole MLC thing, I think it's an excuse to behave appallingly, act like a total idiot and make a complete fool of yourself. It makes me cringe and it's just pathetic.


----------



## Diana7

My dad went through a MLC and was a nightmare to live with. He went days and weeks without talking to anyone, was really moody and bad tempered, and I think its likely that's when his very long affair had started. Not a time I even like to think about. 
I hate the whole MLC thing, I think it's an excuse to behave appallingly, act like a total idiot and make a complete fool of yourself. It makes me cringe and it's just pathetic to be honest. 
I mean the OP's husband chasing after a 20 year old who isn't interested when he is 50. Can't he see how pathetic he is being? What a looser he is? I will never understand it.


----------



## Rus47

thissucks7788 said:


> What goes on in the head of someone having a mlc like this? I mean, I've read of this stereotypical mlc behavior but I can't imagine trying to date someone who is 5 years older than my son. Do guys think this makes them look young/feel young? What gives?


What went through MY head at about 45 was realization I was never going to become president or even C suite with my company. That I was never going to be wealthy. That I had made many mistakes during my life with investments, choice of career, raising kids. I had a lot of regrets and no way to fix them. Wife and I bought a mid-engine 2 seater sports car which eased the pain a tiny bit. We went on some nice vacations together which helped even more.

By about 50, the MLC was over, I accepted life as it was and appreciated what was good, glided into old age. The quote from @TexasMom1216 summarizes what is going on here. 



TexasMom1216 said:


> I think when we realize that we’re aging and we’re closer to death than birth, male or female, we panic. It manifests itself in different ways.





DownByTheRiver said:


> It's sex,plus it makes them feel like they still have it.


Again this isn't confined to just males. Hence the "cougar" phenomena. See @Arkansas thread about his late 40s wife leaving him for a 21 year-old. And she continues to live with the kid ( who was her daughter's BF ).


----------



## Diana7

Rus47 said:


> What went through MY head at about 45 was realization I was never going to become president or even C suite with my company. That I was never going to be wealthy. That I had made many mistakes during my life with investments, choice of career, raising kids. I had a lot of regrets and no way to fix them. Wife and I bought a mid-engine 2 seater sports car which eased the pain a tiny bit. We went on some nice vacations together which helped even more.
> 
> By about 50, the MLC was over, I accepted life as it was and appreciated what was good, glided into old age. The quote from @TexasMom1216 summarizes what is going on here.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Again this isn't confined to just males. Hence the "cougar" phenomena. See @Arkansas thread about his late 40s wife leaving him for a 21 year-old. And she continues to live with the kid ( who was her daughter's BF ).


Unfortunately or maybe fortunately the whole of my middle aged period, my 40's, was spent struggling with the day to day life of being a single mum of three children, trying to make ends meet, emotionally damaged and hurting. I had no opportunity to have a MLC, was far too busy just trying to cope with life and be both parents.
By the time I met my now husband at 49 and things got so much better, that period was gone. I was just happy to have got through such a dark time and so grateful for what I had.

No opportunity or time or energy for any MLC!


----------



## thissucks7788

Rus47 said:


> What went through MY head at about 45 was realization I was never going to become president or even C suite with my company. That I was never going to be wealthy. That I had made many mistakes during my life with investments, choice of career, raising kids. I had a lot of regrets and no way to fix them. Wife and I bought a mid-engine 2 seater sports car which eased the pain a tiny bit. We went on some nice vacations together which helped even more.
> 
> By about 50, the MLC was over, I accepted life as it was and appreciated what was good, glided into old age. The quote from @TexasMom1216 summarizes what is going on here.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Again this isn't confined to just males. Hence the "cougar" phenomena. See @Arkansas thread about his late 40s wife leaving him for a 21 year-old. And she continues to live with the kid ( who was her daughter's BF ).


Thank you for sharing those personal details and giving me the "real deal" of your thoughts/feelings. I think as women, we also come to realize certain grand plans we had are not going to happen. You are right that women can do this too- so I shouldn't be so one sided. I will say though for me...I think I would do 100 other things before dating a 20 year old. I can relate to dumping job, new car, exercise, travel etc..... etc... but this one thing I just can't relate to.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Diana7 said:


> I hate the whole MLC thing, I think it's an excuse to behave appallingly, act like a total idiot and make a complete fool of yourself. It makes me cringe and it's just pathetic to be honest.


I completely understand the FEELINGS around a MLC. That, however, does not excuse bad behavior. When someone has a MLC and acts out in ways that damage their family, that isn't the MLC, that is a selfish, immature person who can't control their own behavior. Your word is perfect for it: pathetic.


----------



## Diana7

TexasMom1216 said:


> I completely understand the FEELINGS around a MLC. That, however, does not excuse bad behavior. When someone has a MLC and acts out in ways that damage their family, that isn't the MLC, that is a selfish, immature person who can't control their own behavior. Your word is perfect for it: pathetic.


I have heard people try and explain/excuse their spouses bad behaviour onto a MLC when they were anything between their 30's and age 60. Sadly people of any age can act like idiots.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Diana7 said:


> I have heard people try and explain/excuse their spouses bad behaviour onto a MLC when they were anything between their 30's and age 60. Sadly people of any age can act like idiots.


It's devastating when someone you trusted and relied upon fails you. It's natural to make excuses, especially if you decide to let a cheater stay with you. In the past women had no choice, "boys will be boys." I think it's a defensive mechanism for them so they don't have to face that their spouse doesn't love them. It's so sad.


----------



## thissucks7788

TexasMom1216 said:


> I completely understand the FEELINGS around a MLC. That, however, does not excuse bad behavior. When someone has a MLC and acts out in ways that damage their family, that isn't the MLC, that is a selfish, immature person who can't control their own behavior. Your word is perfect for it: pathetic.


This.


----------



## Enigma32

One reason: hotness, essentially. 20 year old ladies are statistically the most attractive, as was already mentioned here. My observation on infidelity is somewhat simple...we all have a price. For some people, all they need to cheat is to find a willing partner and not much more. It seems to me that your guy's price to cheat was a girl 30 years younger than he is. 

One thing you need to keep in mind is that men and women do not think the same. You don't think this guy should be attracted to her because she lives with her parents and can't legally drink in a bar but I can assure you that most guys really don't give a crap. Ladies want a man to have certain things to establish his manhood in order for her attraction to be there but for men, I don't know any guys out there weeding ladies out by their jobs or living arrangements. Oh, some men who want the ladies to think they are above all that will protest this stuff but for the most part, it's true. 

For the record, I'm sorry your guy did this to you. I hope you can find happiness.


----------



## Diana7

TexasMom1216 said:


> It's devastating when someone you trusted and relied upon fails you. It's natural to make excuses, especially if you decide to let a cheater stay with you. In the past women had no choice, "boys will be boys." I think it's a defensive mechanism for them so they don't have to face that their spouse doesn't love them. It's so sad.


Yes I agree. Sort of like 'they couldn't help it because it's a MLC' as if it's an illness or something. The same way that the AP is always the evil one who 'seduced' their spouse. 
Understandable but deceptive.


----------



## Diana7

In his vase


Enigma32 said:


> One reason: hotness, essentially. 20 year old ladies are statistically the most attractive, as was already mentioned here. My observation on infidelity is somewhat simple...we all have a price. For some people, all they need to cheat is to find a willing partner and not much more. It seems to me that your guy's price to cheat was a girl 30 years younger than he is.
> 
> One thing you need to keep in mind is that men and women do not think the same. You don't think this guy should be attracted to her because she lives with her parents and can't legally drink in a bar but I can assure you that most guys really don't give a crap. Ladies want a man to have certain things to establish his manhood in order for her attraction to be there but for men, I don't know any guys out there weeding ladies out by their jobs or living arrangements. Oh, some men who want the ladies to think they are above all that will protest this stuff but for the most part, it's true.
> 
> For the record, I'm sorry your guy did this to you. I hope you can find happiness.


In his case he hasn't yet cheated because believe it or not she isn't interested in a man the same age as her dad. Who would have thought. 😲


----------



## RandomDude

I wonder if I'm still a stud at 50. 

14 more years to go OMG


----------



## bobsmith

I guess I will avoid any personal stories and just reply to the OP. There is NOTHING new here. As a man ages, he usually accumulates a level of wealth. Women know this. Women also know their #1 asset is their looks. Some might argue the other factors, but they never matter. You can pick the dumbest hot blonde anywhere, and she will be treated like a queen. But women play this to the top too. 

As for the 50yo, I suspect that "great sex" probably is not all the wife thinks it is. Some 20 something gave him attention, and now he is agreeing to hand over decades of wealth, for her youth and some ass....... In short, I am coming around that it might actually be worth it! I mean, we are not here very long, and I think at 50, guys start to realize they are screwed. I am not even there yet but I already smell my reality. I have seen many cougars go chasing young men too, but they always have their ex's money to lean on. In the end, I hate to say, money is the denominator. 

It is a sick world I had to accept. Born a Catholic and sheltered to believe you find a mate your age and marry for life. Holy Fn **** was I wrong! I feel sorry for the rare, good women out there. Plenty of POS men as well. Ha, I was not this calloused 10yrs ago, but I learned. I have realized this is a history that is bound to repeat itself.


----------



## Diana7

bobsmith said:


> I guess I will avoid any personal stories and just reply to the OP. There is NOTHING new here. As a man ages, he usually accumulates a level of wealth. Women know this. Women also know their #1 asset is their looks. Some might argue the other factors, but they never matter. You can pick the dumbest hot blonde anywhere, and she will be treated like a queen. But women play this to the top too.
> 
> As for the 50yo, I suspect that "great sex" probably is not all the wife thinks it is. Some 20 something gave him attention, and now he is agreeing to hand over decades of wealth, for her youth and some ass....... In short, I am coming around that it might actually be worth it! I mean, we are not here very long, and I think at 50, guys start to realize they are screwed. I am not even there yet but I already smell my reality. I have seen many cougars go chasing young men too, but they always have their ex's money to lean on. In the end, I hate to say, money is the denominator.
> 
> It is a sick world I had to accept. Born a Catholic and sheltered to believe you find a mate your age and marry for life. Holy Fn **** was I wrong! I feel sorry for the rare, good women out there. Plenty of POS men as well. Ha, I was not this calloused 10yrs ago, but I learned. I have realized this is a history that is bound to repeat itself.


Honestly, good women aren't rare, there are plenty. 
Must admit I think the women who ever dates a guy 30 years younger is very rare. I know a few women married to guys say 5-7 years younger but that's about the max I have ever seen.


----------



## Laurentium

Yeah, I don't really get the MLC thing. I understand it as a person waking up and realising that life is passing them by, that they aren't really living the life they want to live. That they've fallen into a rut. 

So the idea that best thing they can think of is to get themselves a sports car and a young girlfriend is beyond me. Do they really think they can return to the past?


----------



## In Absentia

Dating a 20 year old? If mature enough, yes. The attraction of a beautiful young lady is undeniable. Breaking up my marriage over it? It would depend on my level of happiness/unhappiness. I don't have a marriage right now, so if the chance of dating a much younger woman presented itself, I would give it a go. Actively looking? No. I'm 58 and no young girl would really date an old man like me...


----------



## Rus47

RandomDude said:


> I wonder if I'm still a stud at 50.
> 
> 14 more years to go OMG


The ladies still go for the old rockers like Jagger or the tough guys like Norris. So once a stud always one I suppose


----------



## Diana7

Rus47 said:


> The ladies still go for the old rockers like Jagger or the tough guys like Norris. So once a stud always one I suppose


They are rich and famous. No young woman would give them a second look if they had a normal job with an average wage. Plus Mick Jagger is plain ugly.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I dread even thought of getting to a point where I'd give even a dude my own age a shot HAHA.
> 
> Spinster in the making I think.


As my W is 60 and we fool around frequently as empty nesters I can say there can be lots of good lovin' left for you.


----------



## Blondilocks

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> As my W is 60 and we fool around frequently as empty nesters I can say there can be lots of good lovin' left for you.


She is 35 - she's only just begun.


----------



## ConanHub

Laurentium said:


> Yeah, I don't really get the MLC thing. I understand it as a person waking up and realising that life is passing them by, that they aren't really living the life they want to live. That they've fallen into a rut.
> 
> So the idea that best thing they can think of is to get themselves a sports car and a young girlfriend is beyond me. Do they really think they can return to the past?


I've had my share of young women and I ended with the love of my life but I haven't had my muscle car yet so I think I'm due.😉


----------



## ConanHub

Diana7 said:


> They are rich and famous. No young woman would give them a second look if they had a normal job with an average wage. Plus Mick Jagger is plain ugly.


I totally agree with you about Mick but Chuck was remarkably preserved in his fifties and might have still been able to date women in their thirties even without fame.😉


----------



## ConanHub

Blondilocks said:


> She is 35 - she's only just begun.


Mrs. C married me when she was that age and had our youngest.

35 was a very good age for her.😋


----------



## Arkansas

Rus47 said:


> Again this isn't confined to just males. Hence the "cougar" phenomena. See @Arkansas thread about his late 40s wife leaving him for a 21 year-old. And she continues to live with the kid ( who was her daughter's BF ).


I actually think in women it might be more prevalent than ever

In teachers raping/having sex with students, nowadays its almost always women teachers, male students


----------



## Rus47

ConanHub said:


> I've had my share of young women and I ended with the love of my life but I haven't had my muscle car yet so I think I'm due.😉


Well these days to own a muscle car you will also need to be wealthy😊 

$100k is not unusual for a restored one. Another of my many regrets. I have owned several new in my lifetime. But none now. One of them now sells north of $250k restored. I bot mine new for $4k lol

Sri T/J


----------



## ConanHub

Rus47 said:


> Well these days to own a muscle car you will also need to be wealthy😊
> 
> $100k is not unusual for a restored one. Another of my many regrets. I have owned several new in my lifetime. But none now.
> 
> Sri T/J


Well I'm not bad off but not exactly wealthy.

I might just restore one myself.😉


----------



## Anastasia6

Arkansas said:


> I actually think in women it might be more prevalent than ever
> 
> In teachers raping/having sex with students, nowadays its almost always women teachers, male students


You obviously don't work in the field. It's about 100 to 1 male teacher to female teacher committing these crimes.


----------



## Rus47

ConanHub said:


> Well I'm not bad off but not exactly wealthy.
> 
> I might just restore one myself.😉


One not a total wreck would be $10-20k. Not running.


----------



## ConanHub

Rus47 said:


> One not a total wreck would be $10-20k. Not running.


That's very doable. I'd actually like to restore one with my son and grandchildren.


----------



## thissucks7788

bobsmith said:


> I guess I will avoid any personal stories and just reply to the OP. There is NOTHING new here. As a man ages, he usually accumulates a level of wealth. Women know this. Women also know their #1 asset is their looks. Some might argue the other factors, but they never matter. You can pick the dumbest hot blonde anywhere, and she will be treated like a queen. But women play this to the top too.
> 
> As for the 50yo, I suspect that "great sex" probably is not all the wife thinks it is. Some 20 something gave him attention, and now he is agreeing to hand over decades of wealth, for her youth and some ass....... In short, I am coming around that it might actually be worth it! I mean, we are not here very long, and I think at 50, guys start to realize they are screwed. I am not even there yet but I already smell my reality. I have seen many cougars go chasing young men too, but they always have their ex's money to lean on. In the end, I hate to say, money is the denominator.
> 
> It is a sick world I had to accept. Born a Catholic and sheltered to believe you find a mate your age and marry for life. Holy Fn **** was I wrong! I feel sorry for the rare, good women out there. Plenty of POS men as well. Ha, I was not this calloused 10yrs ago, but I learned. I have realized this is a history that is bound to repeat itself.


OP here! Thank you for your honesty. I would like to dive deeper into this line "As for the 50yo, I suspect that "great sex" probably is not all the wife thinks it is" I am asking legit b/c I don't understand what you mean----do you mean that what I think was great sex -- my husband might not? Just looking for clarification.


----------



## Bulfrog1987

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> As my W is 60 and we fool around frequently as empty nesters I can say there can be lots of good lovin' left for you.


I can’t imagine trusting another man. And I certainly don’t want to make one suffer the effects of my late husband and what I’ve been through. Guess I can hope.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Arkansas said:


> In teachers raping/having sex with students, nowadays its almost always women teachers, male students


Maybe, that might just be the ones you hear about depending on where you live.

My high school biology teacher (male) who everyone really liked a lot ended up getting busted with a male student maybe 20 years after I graduated. Sad…. Wasn’t in the national news at all and barely in the local news. Found it on an obscure local news site from a Facebook link from high school people.


----------



## Bulfrog1987

Rus47 said:


> The ladies still go for the old rockers like Jagger or the tough guys like Norris. So once a stud always one I suppose


eww jagger.. mr Norris, maybe lol. Just kidding 😆


----------



## ConanHub

Arkansas said:


> I actually think in women it might be more prevalent than ever
> 
> In teachers raping/having sex with students, nowadays its almost always women teachers, male students


I liked on this because of the cougar statement but I did a little research and men teachers tend to commit these crimes more than women teachers.

Probably not 100/1 but perceivably at a higher rate.

We should probably stick to midlife stupidity instead of crimes however.


----------



## Rob_1

thissucks7788 said:


> Why on earth would a 50 year old guy be interested in a 20 year old (besides sex) who lives at home with her parents -


I've read some of the replies, but the reality of it is, males on average are evolved in nature to feel attracted to those youthful body shapes and swaying hips. rounded filled cheek bones and standing full breasts that don't sag that drive some men to insanity.

having said that, just like everything in nature there's a price to pay, good/bad for anything you do that deviates from the "normal" acceptable social behavior. Old dudes that don't have the economical means, or barely can afford to support a "young thing" they'll get pay with what's coming to them. Since time immemorial, actually, since man exist in this earth, only the "Mick Jaggers" of this world can do as they wish without much consequences. The rest of the fools that for some reason (s) attracts the interest of a young woman, in the end, the most likely reward is their world upturned to crap.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I can’t imagine trusting another man. And I certainly don’t want to make one suffer the effects of my late husband and what I’ve been through. Guess I can hope.


Hope is good!!!


----------



## Numb26

As a man in his 50's, I can tell you from my experience that women in their late 20's only really can offer a sexual relationship because there isn't enough common ground to have any other deeper kind of relationship.

Oh and I agree about the muscle car thing. It is a very expensive hobby that I know well.


----------



## hamadryad

I think its common sense that most men, if they could pull it off, see beauty in a 20 something yo woman...

And despite what a lot of the bottle throwing, sour grapes older woman think, its not always about ,money....Its really crazy the amount of younger women that see older guys attractive...Not the limp peckered old Dilbert types, but an older guy with a good body and his **** together can fairly readily attract these younger types...

That all being said, there is no way in hell id go there....For a number of reasons, but the main reason is that a LOT of older women(esp in this day and age) look fantastic, many of them looking FAR better than their daughters ever will...They grew up in a different era,. have better bodies, carry themselves better, etc...


----------



## thissucks7788

Numb26 said:


> As a man in his 50's, I can tell you from my experience that women in their late 20's only really can offer a sexual relationship because there isn't enough common ground to have any other deeper kind of relationship.
> 
> Oh and I agree about the muscle car thing. It is a very expensive hobby that I know well.


This. This. Besides sex (I get it) but seriously nothing in common or very little. 
BTW, muscle cars= better mlc action than blowing up your life with your spouse if you have a good or pretty good thing going imo.


----------



## Numb26

thissucks7788 said:


> This. This. Besides sex (I get it) but seriously nothing in common or very little.
> BTW, muscle cars= better mlc action than blowing up your life imo.


My cars do seem to attract a lot of attention. LOL


----------



## lifeistooshort

Rob_1 said:


> I've read some of the replies, but the reality of it is, males on average are evolved in nature to feel attracted to those youthful body shapes and swaying hips. rounded filled cheek bones and standing full breasts that don't sag that drive some men to insanity.
> 
> having said that, just like everything in nature there's a price to pay, good/bad for anything you do that deviates from the "normal" acceptable social behavior. Old dudes that don't have the economical means, or barely can afford to support a "young thing" they'll get pay with what's coming to them. Since time immemorial, actually, since man exist in this earth, only the "Mick Jaggers" of this world can do as they wish without much consequences. The rest of the fools that for some reason (s) attracts the interest of a young woman, in the end, the most likely reward is their world upturned to crap.


So here's a question, and I mean this to be genuine.

Is this impacted by thw rise in obesity among young people? Because I can understand the attraction to young and fit bodies, but more and more young people aren't fit. So those young breasts might still sag and have stretch marks.

I'm not a big fan of younger men but to the extent I find them attractive it is greatly diminished if said young man is fat and saggy. I'd much prefer a fit guy my age from a purely physical perspective.. Assuming he can get it up....that's where younger man may have some advantage.


----------



## lifeistooshort

hamadryad said:


> I think its common sense that most men, if they could pull it off, see beauty in a 20 something yo woman...
> 
> And despite what a lot of the bottle throwing, sour grapes older woman think, its not always about ,money....Its really crazy the amount of younger women that see older guys attractive...Not the limp peckered old Dilbert types, but an older guy with a good body and his **** together can fairly readily attract these younger types...
> 
> That all being said, there is no way in hell id go there....For a number of reasons, but the main reason is that a LOT of older women(esp in this day and age) look fantastic, many of them looking FAR better than their daughters ever will...They grew up in a different era,. have better bodies, carry themselves better, etc...


You'd be shocked how many young men an older woman with a hard body and some money can attract.

And horny young men actually do want to screw said older women, unlike many young women who don't necessarily want to screw an older guy buy will do it if there's some in it for her.

Anyone with their **** together and a good body has options.

I'm with you though as far as going there....I need a grown ass man.


----------



## Numb26

lifeistooshort said:


> So here's a question, and I mean this to be genuine.
> 
> Is this impacted by thw rise in obesity among young people? Because I can understand the attraction to young and fit bodies, but more and more young people aren't fit. So those young breasts might still sag and have stretch marks.
> 
> I'm not a big fan of younger men but to the extent I find them attractive it is greatly diminished if said young man is fat and saggy. I'd much prefer a fit guy my age from a purely physical perspective.. Assuming he can get it up....that's where younger man may have some advantage.


For me, it's a stamina issue. Most women my own age don't seem to have the ability to keep the same energy levels as I have.

The drawback to this is that beyond the physical there isn't much else to build on.


----------



## thissucks7788

hamadryad said:


> I think its common sense that most men, if they could pull it off, see beauty in a 20 something yo woman...
> 
> And despite what a lot of the bottle throwing, sour grapes older woman think, its not always about ,money....Its really crazy the amount of younger women that see older guys attractive...Not the limp peckered old Dilbert types, but an older guy with a good body and his **** together can fairly readily attract these younger types...
> 
> That all being said, there is no way in hell id go there....For a number of reasons, but the main reason is that a LOT of older women(esp in this day and age) look fantastic, many of them looking FAR better than their daughters ever will...They grew up in a different era,. have better bodies, carry themselves better, etc...


I hear you. Youth is attractive-- I enjoy looking at a good looking person male and female and appreciate it. Leaving my spouse for them...no way! 30 years difference is crazy imo. 

I suppose some younger women would date a much older guy even without the $. However from my personal experience - when I was in my late 20's --my mid 40 year old boss was making the moves on me (I was not married). I thought that he was nice looking "for an older guy" but he was waayy to old for me (and that wasn't even 30 years difference). However I realize that I am not every woman and some may differ. My sister had a similar experience with a client (much older making the moves) and she felt the same. A little creeped out. 

I have seen many younger women and many do not (older women too) take good care of their bodies and let themselves go. Personally I have always been into health and exercise and so I am in very good shape. In fact all pettiness aside...lol-- my body looks better than the young woman in question--haha! I mean that with no malice--I have nothing to this girl- she is not interested in my H and he is just being an old fool. However he has "seen" me for so many years and I suppose novelty is nice. What is my point? Nothing! I just want to put in my 2 cents


----------



## thissucks7788

lifeistooshort said:


> So here's a question, and I mean this to be genuine.
> 
> Is this impacted by thw rise in obesity among young people? Because I can understand the attraction to young and fit bodies, but more and more young people aren't fit. So those young breasts might still sag and have stretch marks.
> 
> I'm not a big fan of younger men but to the extent I find them attractive it is greatly diminished if said young man is fat and saggy. I'd much prefer a fit guy my age from a purely physical perspective.. Assuming he can get it up....that's where younger man may have some advantage.


LOL- I was thinking the same thing about the breast comment someone made above. Even young breasts sag if they are big enough. #truestory


----------



## *Deidre*

thissucks7788 said:


> This. This. Besides sex (I get it) but seriously nothing in common or very little.
> BTW, muscle cars= better mlc action than blowing up your life with your spouse if you have a good or pretty good thing going imo.


I wonder though if you look at what preceded this situation with the 20 yo, if there were red flags maybe you overlooked in your husband's behavior that were sort of a foreshadowing of this? I ask because from people I've known who have had affairs and the stories I've read on here, when you peel the layers back, there were other things that were starting to become a problem, and then the affair(s) began. The affair or the desire to leave to explore dating again didn't happen all of a sudden, overnight. I'm not saying you purposely ignored signs, but just wondering if you saw changes in him before this situation happened.

Whatever the reasons, please don't take him back. 😔


----------



## Blondilocks

lifeistooshort said:


> unlike many young women *who don't necessarily want to screw an older guy* buy will do it if there's some in it for her.


LOL I can hear the collective groan of the old geezers from here "Oh, say it ain't so, Joe".


----------



## In Absentia

thissucks7788 said:


> This. This. Besides sex (I get it) but seriously nothing in common or very little.


It's not necessarily true... there are women in their late twenties who are more intellectually mature and can sustain a relationship with an older man. Some want a man who is not an immature kid like most boys are in their twenties. I know a few. Obviously, nothing ever happened and never crossed my mind because I was still with my wife at the time.


----------



## thissucks7788

*Deidre* said:


> I wonder though if you look at what preceded this situation with the 20 yo, if there were red flags maybe you overlooked in your husband's behavior that were sort of a foreshadowing of this? I ask because from people I've known who have had affairs and the stories I've read on here, when you peel the layers back, there were other things that were starting to become a problem, and then the affair(s) began. The affair or the desire to leave to explore dating again didn't happen all of a sudden, overnight. I'm not saying you purposely ignored signs, but just wondering if you saw changes in him before this situation happened.
> 
> Whatever the reasons, please don't take him back. 😔


I hear you. I have done major reflection and I seriously can't see anything. Maybe I am blind-- I have looked in retrospect and have come up empty. My personal theory is he turned 50- having a mlc- started powerlifting and wants to see if he still "has it". Fell into limerence with this young girl. That is the best I can come up with even after over 1 month of ruminating. I hear you though.


----------



## thissucks7788

In Absentia said:


> It's not necessarily true... there are women in their late twenties who are more intellectually mature and can sustain a relationship with an older man. Some want a man who is not an immature kid like most boys are in their twenties. I know a few. Obviously, nothing ever happened and never crossed my mind because I was still with my wife at the time.


I mean, I guess there can be some rare late 20's-- I don't know- I guess an opinion call...but I am talking about 20 as in less than a year ago was a teenager close to my 15 year old son's age.


----------



## *Deidre*

thissucks7788 said:


> I hear you. I have done major reflection and I seriously can't see anything. Maybe I am blind-- I have looked in retrospect and have come up empty. My personal theory is he turned 50- having a mlc- started powerlifting and wants to see if he still "has it". Fell into limerence with this young girl. That is the best I can come up with even after over 1 month of ruminating. I hear you though.


Maybe he never shared some of his feelings with you, kept everything inside (insecurities, etc?) and then all you see is how he's behaving _now_. I'm sorry you're going through this, and the mental energy you're spending on this situation. You seem like such a kind person, it's just sad when I see men or women spend so much time trying to process why their spouse cheated, etc. 

Anyways, stay strong and be true to you, now. 💜


----------



## lifeistooshort

In Absentia said:


> It's not necessarily true... there are women in their late twenties who are more intellectually mature and can sustain a relationship with an older man. Some want a man who is not an immature kid like most boys are in their twenties. I know a few. Obviously, nothing ever happened and never crossed my mind because I was still with my wife at the time.


It's true that some people are more mature then others, but you're never going to clear the life experience spread.

I was quite intellectually mature in my late 20's but I still had late 20's life experience. Having been married to a much older guy I can say that this gap can't be bridged. Older party always thinks they know just a little better because they've already been there.


----------



## TexasMom1216

thissucks7788 said:


> I mean, I guess there can be some rare late 20's-- I don't know- I guess an opinion call...but I am talking about 20 as in less than a year ago was a teenager close to my 15 year old son's age.


I was fairly mature at 28-29. But I didn't want a daddy, I wanted a husband. Bottom line is women who date men a lot older are looking for a daddy, not a partner or friend or companion. It's hard for me to buy "yes I'm in my 50s having a meaningful, emotional relationship with someone 20 years younger than me." No, you're having sex with a beautiful young woman in exchange for "taking care" of her. I'm not going to be convinced they're equals in the relationship in any way, that dude is playing daddy to his dolly. There is a power paradigm that is obvious and constant.


----------



## lifeistooshort

Numb26 said:


> For me, it's a stamina issue. Most women my own age don't seem to have the ability to keep the same energy levels as I have.
> 
> The drawback to this is that beyond the physical there isn't much else to build on.


You're fishing in the wrong pond. Plenty of women your age will run you ragged 😀


----------



## In Absentia

thissucks7788 said:


> I mean, I guess there can be some rare late 20's-- I don't know- I guess an opinion call...but I am talking about 20 as in less than a year ago was a teenager close to my 15 year old son's age.


You can still be a mature 20 year old. I know what you are talking about because I have daughters of that age, but I don't think a relationship with a 30 year gap is impossible. In fact, it's very possible, but my concern would be sustainability on the long term. I can see why your husband is doing it. I think most men on this thread don't have the courage to admit it, but they would jump at the chance... lol

BTW, I can't remember... was your husband unhappy in the marriage?


----------



## thissucks7788

In Absentia said:


> You can still be a mature 20 year old. I know what you are talking about because I have daughters of that age, but I don't think a relationship with a 30 year gap is impossible. In fact, it's very possible, but my concern would be sustainability on the long term. I can see why your husband is doing it. I think most men on this thread don't have the courage to admit it, but they would jump at the chance... lol
> 
> BTW, I can't remember... was your husband unhappy in the marriage?


Interesting perspective. 
My husband did not seem at all unhappy and "claims" to still love me but let's face it, his actions say otherwise. He still wants to contact me and see me (which I am not interested). He seems to miss our closeness and talking to me. I think it was great for him when he was still in our relationship-- he gets all of me and my benefits (talking, laughing, sex) while fantasizing about this girl who I think he believed he could win over. That she was his cosmic soul mate (eye roll). It all changed when I found the texts of him expressing his love and need for her. I mean wtf is that.


----------



## Diana7

Numb26 said:


> For me, it's a stamina issue. Most women my own age don't seem to have the ability to keep the same energy levels as I have.
> 
> The drawback to this is that beyond the physical there isn't much else to build on.


I doubt that is true. Women can be just as fit or unfit as men of the same age.


----------



## Numb26

lifeistooshort said:


> You're fishing in the wrong pond. Plenty of women your age will run you ragged 😀


Maybe it's bad luck or the wrong pond but most women I have been interested in that are my own age don't seem to have much interest in the physical aspects of a relationship and have no issue being upfront about it


----------



## Diana7

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting perspective.
> My husband did not seem at all unhappy and "claims" to still love me but let's face it, his actions say otherwise. He still wants to contact me and see me (which I am not interested). He seems to miss our closeness and talking to me. I think it was great for him when he was still in our relationship-- he gets all of me and my benefits (talking, laughing, sex) while fantasizing about this girl who I think he believed he could win over. That she was his cosmic soul mate (eye roll). It all changed when I found the texts of him expressing his love and need for her. I mean wtf is that.


'Cosmic soul mate'. 😲😆🤪🥴You couldn't make it up could you.


----------



## Diana7

Numb26 said:


> Maybe it's bad luck or the wrong pond but most women I have been interested in that are my own age don't seem to have much interest in the physical aspects of a relationship and have no issue being upfront about it


So how many women would that be?


----------



## thissucks7788

*Deidre* said:


> Maybe he never shared some of his feelings with you, kept everything inside (insecurities, etc?) and then all you see is how he's behaving _now_. I'm sorry you're going through this, and the mental energy you're spending on this situation. You seem like such a kind person, it's just sad when I see men or women spend so much time trying to process why their spouse cheated, etc.
> 
> Anyways, stay strong and be true to you, now. 💜


Thank you and I agree a lot of mental energy being spent. I have done all of the "right" actions but my feelings have yet to follow. Hoping that will eventually happen.


----------



## Numb26

Diana7 said:


> I doubt that is true. Women can be just as fit or unfit as men of the same age.


I agree but I was just speaking on my personal experiences


----------



## Anastasia6

lifeistooshort said:


> You're fishing in the wrong pond. Plenty of women your age will run you ragged 😀


QFT


----------



## *Deidre*

thissucks7788 said:


> Thank you and I agree a lot of mental energy being spent. I have done all of the "right" actions but my feelings have yet to follow. Hoping that will eventually happen.


It will happen, but don't make yourself accessible to your husband any longer. As long as you're his 'friend,' he'll keep coming to you for certain needs and going elsewhere for the other needs. Nah, he made his choice, let him live with that choice. This isn't to say you need to be rude etc...but for now, it will be too hard to heal if he's always telling you he loves you and you're getting these mixed messages.


----------



## lifeistooshort

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting perspective.
> My husband did not seem at all unhappy and "claims" to still love me but let's face it, his actions say otherwise. He still wants to contact me and see me (which I am not interested). He seems to miss our closeness and talking to me. I think it was great for him when he was still in our relationship-- he gets all of me and my benefits (talking, laughing, sex) while fantasizing about this girl who I think he believed he could win over. That she was his cosmic soul mate (eye roll). It all changed when I found the texts of him expressing his love and need for her. I mean wtf is that.


Classic cake eater.

This guy is absolutely going to try to come back. I think we should start a pool on how long it takes.

He's also going to flip his lid when you replace him. I do projections (among other things) for a living and this is my experienced, professional opinion 😁

In fact, if you want to test that theory try telling him that chatting is not appropriate because your dates won't like it. Watch his reaction


----------



## In Absentia

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting perspective.
> My husband did not seem at all unhappy and "claims" to still love me but let's face it, his actions say otherwise. He still wants to contact me and see me (which I am not interested). He seems to miss our closeness and talking to me. I think it was great for him when he was still in our relationship-- he gets all of me and my benefits (talking, laughing, sex) while fantasizing about this girl who I think he believed he could win over. That she was his cosmic soul mate (eye roll). It all changed when I found the texts of him expressing his love and need for her. I mean wtf is that.


That I don't understand. I mean, I can see the attraction of a younger female, but I would never have left a happy marriage (as I said before). Sorry I can't answer your question regarding your husband. In theory, I think such a relationship is possible, but it doesn't make sense in your husband's position. I think he needs to see a shrink...


----------



## TexasMom1216

*Deidre* said:


> It will happen, but don't make yourself accessible to your husband any longer. As long as you're his 'friend,' he'll keep coming to you for certain needs and going elsewhere for the other needs. Nah, he made his choice, let him live with that choice. This isn't to say you need to be rude etc...but for now, it will be too hard to heal if he's always telling you he loves you and you're getting these mixed messages.


Oh gosh this all day. He doesn't want you to be over him, you're his Plan B. You deserve better than that. Cut him off entirely.


----------



## Anastasia6

Numb26 said:


> Maybe it's bad luck or the wrong pond but most women I have been interested in that are my own age don't seem to have much interest in the physical aspects of a relationship and have no issue being upfront about it


Well I could go 3x daily many days. But then again I think that


Numb26 said:


> I agree but I was just speaking on my personal experiences


Well I could go 3x daily many days. But then again I think that depends on the man. Mine inspires me more than he can handle.

Now if you want to go rock climbing I'm out.


----------



## Anastasia6

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting perspective.
> My husband did not seem at all unhappy and "claims" to still love me but let's face it, his actions say otherwise. He still wants to contact me and see me (which I am not interested). He seems to miss our closeness and talking to me. I think it was great for him when he was still in our relationship-- he gets all of me and my benefits (talking, laughing, sex) while fantasizing about this girl who I think he believed he could win over. That she was his cosmic soul mate (eye roll). It all changed when I found the texts of him expressing his love and need for her. I mean wtf is that.


You are correct his actions are not that of a loving man. Please cut off all contact and serve him with divorce papers. 
He wants all the benefits of a relationship with you and that of being single. Please grant him his single wish.

Yes I expect that he will try to return once he realizes you are not what is holding him back from this relationship with the 20 year old. She simply doesn't want him. He will probably be able to find someone to screw him. Will he find someone to listen to him? Make his doctors appointments? drive him when he has to have anesthesia at the dentist office? Care for him when he is sick? Not care when he has ED? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

You will have to make up your mind when that day comes if you want to rebuild this relationship or not. Some go to counseling or such and rebuild trust.

If you love him and want him (which I would not but I'm not you), I would at least get a very favorable division of assets and then keep them separate so that if he does this little dance again then you can split so much easier. In other words I'd never trust him or feel secure again. I think I'd do a divorce and then he could date me if he wanted.

The harsh truth is as we get to be 50 years old supposedly it is much harder for women to date. I don't know I haven't been out there. But it does seem those not adverse to sex are in high demand so I wouldn't worry if I was you. I'd make decision on if I wanted to keep this old fool.


----------



## bobsmith

thissucks7788 said:


> OP here! Thank you for your honesty. I would like to dive deeper into this line "As for the 50yo, I suspect that "great sex" probably is not all the wife thinks it is" I am asking legit b/c I don't understand what you mean----do you mean that what I think was great sex -- my husband might not? Just looking for clarification.


That's indeed what I meant. I am not even saying the husband is not jaded in believing his stud factor is higher than it really is. 

But as for my opinion, I doubt 'great sex' alone would account for this scenario. There is literally no secret that snagging a much younger woman is considered a status symbol. With everything else being equal, a man would almost always go to the younger model. However, the woman would have to either be super shallow, or need money/security. 

To see a 50yo man leave a marriage to pursue a woman 30yrs younger is pretty ridiculous and I'd that the guy has something off in his head. 

But I will share my personal interest 'carefully' as if you are going through this, I am sure it is quite insulting to you. These days I mostly will not even give the time of day to a woman my age. Typically going 10-15yrs younger. Not really because I am chasing a 'number', but those are the ones that still have energy and vibrance. I am not sure if that is a factor in your situation or not. 

Let me put this another way. 
Women my age...."wow, you are not fat and still have hair! How much money do you have, do you have savings and retirement? I have 5 kids that need a home, taken to school, and fed"

Younger women...."oh, you are so cute. There is a band playing tonight, wanna go? Maybe we can go shop for a dress so I can wear what you like?"

You can see the clear difference in sidestepping responsibilities!


----------



## thissucks7788

bobsmith said:


> That's indeed what I meant. I am not even saying the husband is not jaded in believing his stud factor is higher than it really is.
> 
> But as for my opinion, I doubt 'great sex' alone would account for this scenario. There is literally no secret that snagging a much younger woman is considered a status symbol. With everything else being equal, a man would almost always go to the younger model. However, the woman would have to either be super shallow, or need money/security.
> 
> To see a 50yo man leave a marriage to pursue a woman 30yrs younger is pretty ridiculous and I'd that the guy has something off in his head.
> 
> But I will share my personal interest 'carefully' as if you are going through this, I am sure it is quite insulting to you. These days I mostly will not even give the time of day to a woman my age. Typically going 10-15yrs younger. Not really because I am chasing a 'number', but those are the ones that still have energy and vibrance. I am not sure if that is a factor in your situation or not.
> 
> Let me put this another way.
> Women my age...."wow, you are not fat and still have hair! How much money do you have, do you have savings and retirement? I have 5 kids that need a home, taken to school, and fed"
> 
> Younger women...."oh, you are so cute. There is a band playing tonight, wanna go? Maybe we can go shop for a dress so I can wear what you like?"
> 
> You can see the clear difference in sidestepping responsibilities!


Thank you for clarifying. I still appreciate your perspective-- I asked  

I admit your women my age response vs younger woman did give me food for thought into the male mind when getting back into the dating pool. (I'll keep my comments to myself on some of my other thoughts though, lol)


----------



## TexasMom1216

Anastasia6 said:


> The harsh truth is as we get to be 50 years old supposedly it is much harder for women to date.


I'd have estimated closer to 40. But yeah, and that is due in no small part to adult women having ZERO patience for nonsense. A smart, capable, independent adult woman isn't going to be bossed around and used by a man, and men that age can find a sugar baby that doesn't challenge them at all as long as the check clears. It's easy to see why they make that choice, and honestly, we as women really aren't missing out on men like that. As soon as those girls reach 30, their older "boyfriends" will lose interest and move on to the next interchangeable dolly. Those men really wouldn't interest us even if they were interested in us...


----------



## DownByTheRiver

thissucks7788 said:


> LOL- I was thinking the same thing about the breast comment someone made above. Even young breasts sag if they are big enough. #truestory


All big breasts hang unless they are fake.


----------



## Anastasia6

TexasMom1216 said:


> I'd have estimated closer to 40. But yeah, and that is due in no small part to adult women having ZERO patience for nonsense. A smart, capable, independent adult woman isn't going to be bossed around and used by a man, and men that age can find a sugar baby that doesn't challenge them at all as long as the check clears. It's easy to see why they make that choice, and honestly, we as women really aren't missing out on men like that. As soon as those girls reach 30, their older "boyfriends" will lose interest and move on to the next interchangeable dolly. Those men really wouldn't interest us even if they were interested in us...


Yep I don't care what the reason is.... I myself have no need of most of the old fools. I can live independently. I love my husband and would be crushed if we parted but I'd be ok. I'm older and I have some weight on me and i still occasionally get hit on. I know my worth and if others don't that's on them. I'd love to see the 20 year old make 40% returns annually on a stock account, Set up healthcare, assisted living, finances for MIL, help them and listen to their career while working 40 hours a week having sex 4-8 times a week and then want someone 30 years older (Nah) But if my husband can find that then I guess good for him. 

If the woman has all that going her and the empathy to deal with the In-laws then I guess he can have her. Truth is she'd be snapped up by someone much younger and probably richer too if she was looking.

You don't have to look too far on these forums to find some of those 35 years old somethings now that regret marrying someone so much older. Who now have ED and retirement and physical issues. Many women have more empathy and patience and stick around but it serves these guys right when they end up sick at 70 and alone because their young chippy realized they still had a lot of life left in them and that 1/2 at 35 is better than all at 45


----------



## bobsmith

TexasMom1216 said:


> I'd have estimated closer to 40. But yeah, and that is due in no small part to adult women having ZERO patience for nonsense. A smart, capable, independent adult woman isn't going to be bossed around and used by a man, and men that age can find a sugar baby that doesn't challenge them at all as long as the check clears. It's easy to see why they make that choice, and honestly, we as women really aren't missing out on men like that. As soon as those girls reach 30, their older "boyfriends" will lose interest and move on to the next interchangeable dolly. Those men really wouldn't interest us even if they were interested in us...


I think it is that exact mentality that makes women in that age bracket undatable. Not to argue because I agree and have met the women you speak of. You also make it seem like women only come in two flavors. The strong/independent type, or the needy bimbo. Not really the case. 

There are tons of professional studies to conclude that women convey the factors they themselves look for in a guy. Good job, high pay, nice stuff, etc. You know, all things money... They then take a seat on the highest shelf in the castle, concluding they are a top prize. It is quite a turn off for men. NOT the success, but the mentality after.


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> I was fairly mature at 28-29. But I didn't want a daddy, I wanted a husband. Bottom line is women who date men a lot older are looking for a daddy, not a partner or friend or companion. It's hard for me to buy "yes I'm in my 50s having a meaningful, emotional relationship with someone 20 years younger than me." No, you're having sex with a beautiful young woman in exchange for "taking care" of her. I'm not going to be convinced they're equals in the relationship in any way, that dude is playing daddy to his dolly. There is a power paradigm that is obvious and constant.


I was considering this and I believe there is at least (a perceived) power difference between older men and younger women that might not be as evident with older women and younger men.

This is not taking abusive or manipulative people into account.


----------



## Rob_1

lifeistooshort said:


> So here's a question, and I mean this to be genuine.
> 
> Is this impacted by thw rise in obesity among young people? Because I can understand the attraction to young and fit bodies, but more and more young people aren't fit. So those young breasts might still sag and have stretch marks.
> 
> I'm not a big fan of younger men but to the extent I find them attractive it is greatly diminished if said young man is fat and saggy. I'd much prefer a fit guy my age from a purely physical perspective.. Assuming he can get it up....that's where younger man may have some advantage.


Female figure to a male is affected by cultural/environmental factors, e.g, from a strictly survival point of view when passing one's genes, a female in an environment such as Alaska with rounded, more body fat would signal to a male that this female has more chances of surviving a pregnancy and delivering a healthy kid. Therefore, throughout time creating a "preference" to that type of body over a slim body type, which, from a perception point of view would not have the same same chances as the more body fatted females. hence, alaskan native males that prefers a woman with more body fat. 

Now, since social/cultural/economical globalization, health care, pregnancy management, ect., has been more or less, creating a global culture where visual and aesthetic values are merging. The slim figure is emerging into the consciousness of humans. This is not to say that for males, from an individual point of view, they are not attracted to what they are attracted. This is natural, non socially influenced. Thousands and thousands of years of evolution can not be wiped out in just a few decades. That's why you have men that still likes full figured females over slim ones. To some of them, the more the merrier, just like some prefer dark skinned over pale skinned, tall over short, etc.

Now to the obesity point of it, It is my understanding that obese people would tend to mate with another obese people mostly due to their mating choices being "slimmed out" since the majority of non obese people would not prefer to mate with an obese person. It is called "settling down" for what you can get. To remind you, or FYI, we frequently see those cases of an obese or fat person having bariatric surgery in order to lose the weight. After that has been achieved, and they look themselves in the mirror, suddenly, their mate does not longer cuts the cheese. Dumping and/or cheating ensues. Sadly but, we see it all the time.


----------



## Anastasia6

I just wouldn't want a young 'man' I look at them and think, no no no no. 

And the men that want 20 year olds. They can have them cause I wouldn't want to touch them with a 10 foot pole. Who really wants to date a pedofile. Cause that is what a 50 year old dating a 20 year old basically is.


----------



## lifeistooshort

I must live in a different world then others here because I can think of a number of men that I know who are in their 50's, single, and looking. But all of the women I know are paired up.

I tried to set one of them up with a 50 something year old widow...my married friend's sister, and while he was definitely interested because she looks good and has no money troubles she blew him off when she hooked up with "an old friend".

So in my world the 50 something year old men are having a harder time dating then the women. I suppose it depends on the circles you run in.


----------



## Rob_1

TexasMom1216 said:


> A smart, capable, independent adult woman isn't going to be bossed around and used by a man,


I completely disagreed with your statement here. The whole world is filled with Smart, capable, independent adult women that at home are bossed around, mistreated, abused by their man. Cases, and cases, all over the world we all hear about it and wonder: why is she putting up with that treatment?, why is she not leaving the abusive husband?


----------



## Anastasia6

lifeistooshort said:


> I must live in a different world then others here because I can think of a number of men that I know who are in their 50's, single, and looking. But all of the women I know are paired up.
> 
> I tried to set one of them up with a 50 something year old widow...my married friend's sister, and while he was definitely interested because she looks good and has no money troubles she blew him off when she hooked up with "an old friend".
> 
> So in my world the 50 something year old men are having a harder time dating then the women. I suppose it depends on the circles you run in.


I think it depends on the circles you run in and what dynamic is being looked at. 

There is no doubt that men with money attract certain women. Young or old. Those who want security.

But women who don't need that yes many are in demand because some of the men don't want to date women they perceive to be after their money cause they have already been burned in a divorce.


----------



## Rob_1

Anastasia6 said:


> I just wouldn't want a young 'man' I look at them and think, no no no no.
> 
> And the men that want 20 year olds. They can have them cause I wouldn't want to touch them with a 10 foot pole. Who really wants to date a pedofile. Cause that is what a 50 year old dating a 20 year old basically is.


You better check what a pedophile is, a twenty years old does not even comes close. It's so funny that not too long ago in time a twenty years old was considered by most humans as more than old enough to be marry and procreate. Now a twenty years old is nothing but a child. As time goes on, as we infantilize young people more and more, I'm pretty sure that in the not so far future a 30 years old will be considered a child.


----------



## Mybabysgotit

thissucks7788 said:


> .. Why on earth would a 50 year old guy be interested in a 20 year old (besides sex) who lives at home with her parents - to actually leave a really good relationship (with good sex, laughs, fun times and a wife who looks good  What goes on in the head of someone having a mlc like this?


You know, I ask myself that same question when I see my brother marrying his twenty something year old wife in June. He's 51. My daughter is 29 so anything younger than that is kind of gross to me, like somehow automatically friend zoned. I don't even like my wife being in her thirties, makes me feel just...old sometimes. If I were to do it over, i'd probably be with someone closer to my own age.


----------



## ConanHub

bobsmith said:


> That's indeed what I meant. I am not even saying the husband is not jaded in believing his stud factor is higher than it really is.
> 
> But as for my opinion, I doubt 'great sex' alone would account for this scenario. There is literally no secret that snagging a much younger woman is considered a status symbol. With everything else being equal, a man would almost always go to the younger model. However, the woman would have to either be super shallow, or need money/security.
> 
> To see a 50yo man leave a marriage to pursue a woman 30yrs younger is pretty ridiculous and I'd that the guy has something off in his head.
> 
> But I will share my personal interest 'carefully' as if you are going through this, I am sure it is quite insulting to you. These days I mostly will not even give the time of day to a woman my age. Typically going 10-15yrs younger. Not really because I am chasing a 'number', but those are the ones that still have energy and vibrance. I am not sure if that is a factor in your situation or not.
> 
> Let me put this another way.
> Women my age...."wow, you are not fat and still have hair! How much money do you have, do you have savings and retirement? I have 5 kids that need a home, taken to school, and fed"
> 
> Younger women...."oh, you are so cute. There is a band playing tonight, wanna go? Maybe we can go shop for a dress so I can wear what you like?"
> 
> You can see the clear difference in sidestepping responsibilities!


I don't know how much this is TJing the thread but do you think your experience is the most common?

My experience is anecdotal so I don't try to generalize it as applicable to most guys.

I've been hit on by women from the 20 range to my own age (50's) and they couldn't give a rip about my finances.

I thought the kids were flattering and cute but the older women were pure million watt seduction machines that I could have easily been swayed by if not for the fact I've already been got good for decades.

If I was single today, it would definitely be a lady my age that would have the best odds with me.

No competition.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Rob_1 said:


> I completely disagreed with your statement here. The whole world is filled with Smart, capable, independent adult women that at home are bossed, around, mistreated, abused by their man. cases, and cases, all over the world we all hear about it and wonder: why is she putting up with that treatment?, why is she not leaving the abusive husband?


Fair point, I should also have stipulated "emotionally healthy." Because you are correct, you see women all the time who due to their crippling low self esteem put up with abuse. You see the same with men.


----------



## Numb26

Anastasia6 said:


> I just wouldn't want a young 'man' I look at them and think, no no no no.
> 
> And the men that want 20 year olds. They can have them cause I wouldn't want to touch them with a 10 foot pole. Who really wants to date a pedofile. Cause that is what a 50 year old dating a 20 year old basically is.


Who hurt you?


----------



## Anastasia6

Rob_1 said:


> You better check what a pedephile is, a twenty years old does not even comes close. It's so funny that not too long ago in time a twenty years old was considered by most humans as more than old enough to be marry and procreate. Now a twenty years old is nothing but a child. As time goes on, as we infantilize young people more and more, I'm pretty sure that in the not so far future a 30 years old will be considered a child.


My point is someone that much different in age should be like a child to a 50 year old.

But face it some men only care about tits and ass. They will always want the youngest thing they can hit. They are welcome to them. I did not marry such a shallow person. I truly believe most men are NOT this shallow or short sighted. I truly believe that most men value many things beyond tits and ass. I just hope that the tits and ass pedofiles end up with the money grubbing women. They deserve each other and can probably make it work.


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## Anastasia6

Numb26 said:


> Who hurt you?


Have no idea what you mean. Because I don't want a child I"m hurt?


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## TexasMom1216

No one is having a meaningful, healthy sexual relationship on an intellectual or emotional level with someone young enough to be their child. It's just not happening.


----------



## Anastasia6

Mybabysgotit said:


> You know, I ask myself that same question when I see my brother marrying his twenty something year old wife in June. He's 51. My daughter is 29 so anything younger than that is kind of gross to me, like somehow automatically friend zoned. I don't even like my wife being in her thirties, makes me feel just...old sometimes. If I were to do it over, i'd probably be with someone closer to my own age.


So any insight on why she likes him?


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> No one is having a meaningful, healthy sexual relationship on an intellectual or emotional level with someone young enough to be their child. It's just not happening.


Yeah that does give me the creeps. The thought of Getting involved with someone your child's age or younger makes me green around the gills.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> Yeah that does give me the creeps. The thought of Getting involved with someone your child's age or younger makes me green around the gills.


As well it should. It's disgusting.


----------



## *Deidre*

@thissucks7788 - suppose your husband was leaving for someone closer to your ages, would you be feeling the same? I think you would, and maybe worse, actually. Either way, you'd be wondering what you don't have that the other woman has. In this case, this girl represents a fantasy to your husband. But, if your husband was chasing after a woman closer to your age, and was deep into an emotional affair, you might feel worse because she 'gets him.'

What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter who he is leaving you for...the fact that he would leave a solid marriage where you love and care for him, shows that he lacks character. And he would rather be adored than loved. He would rather the attention of other women (doesn't matter their ages) than the love of one.

When you start processing that it isn't you at all, but that he's chasing the wind looking for something to fill a void, you'll start healing. But you have been married a long time, so it will take time. In a way, I feel sorry for him because he will realize all he lost, and you will (hopefully) have moved on by then.


----------



## Mybabysgotit

Anastasia6 said:


> So any insight on why she likes him?


probably because they have the same emotional level..lol (true though)


----------



## Rob_1

Anastasia6 said:


> But face it some men only care about tits and ass. They will always want the youngest thing they can hit.


face it. And this is one of the main points that "today's" women for some reason as "educated" as they are refuse to accept. MOST men, not matter where in this planet, care about tits and ass. If a male could have his beautiful wife looking for the rest of her life like a 20 years old it would be heaven on earth as far as looks goes.

Having said that, it's just from an mental stimulant point of view. In reality it all "depends", it all depends on his cultural, moral, social upbringings. It also matters how genetically he's programmed. Is he low, high desire?, mild mannered (not that that matters to some mild mannered men)?,etc,.

Men and women in general tend to stay in a monogamous relationship as part of what we have/are in this planet. Its advantages are: given a stable home life, stable rearing of children, stable economical means, stable emotional involvement. Let's not forget that marriage is a social contract. Also, men and women do have built in the capacity to want more if possible. Many men and women do go for that "more" not just men. It's a biological drive for genetic diversity. Like I said, who you are in the environment in which you live, highly determines how close to monogamy you stay. For males it means, can I have more than one without consequences, same for females.

Yes, some men all they car is tits and ass, but not the majority. That's a skew view.


----------



## The Narcissist's Wife

ccpowerslave said:


> I don’t even like to look, it makes me feel like a creepy old guy.


Good to hear this..I think it's weird that it is acceptable for old men and/or women to be sexually attracted to someone the same age as their grand kids. Young adults who still look like they are in high school...My FIL often looked at porn called school age girls, naughty school girls, etc..and I know these girls were at least 18 legally...but it made me uncomfortable and I could easily say if I had a teenage daughter..her and her friends wouldnt be allowed there alone. I know its a bit overboard..but u never know what someone is capable of..and if u are over a certain age and getting off to images of girls or boys who look like they are high schoolers. I find that concerning and it personally disgusts me.


----------



## Anastasia6

Rob_1 said:


> Yes, some men all they car is tits and ass, but not the majority. That's a skew view.


That's the view you keep spouting. I clearly said I don't think all men are like that. Those that are and use biology as an excuse for being a low quality individual can have any of the 20 year olds they can find. I wouldn't want them in my mating pool anyway.


----------



## thissucks7788

*Deidre* said:


> @thissucks7788 - suppose your husband was leaving for someone closer to your ages, would you be feeling the same? I think you would, and maybe worse, actually. Either way, you'd be wondering what you don't have that the other woman has. In this case, this girl represents a fantasy to your husband. But, if your husband was chasing after a woman closer to your age, and was deep into an emotional affair, you might feel worse because she 'gets him.'
> 
> What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter who he is leaving you for...the fact that he would leave a solid marriage where you love and care for him, shows that he lacks character. And he would rather be adored than loved. He would rather the attention of other women (doesn't matter their ages) than the love of one.
> 
> When you start processing that it isn't you at all, but that he's chasing the wind looking for something to fill a void, you'll start healing. But you have been married a long time, so it will take time. In a way, I feel sorry for him because he will realize all he lost, and you will (hopefully) have moved on by then.


I agree with your assessment especially about having a closer to his age woman. I think it would be even worse if you can believe it mostly for the reasons you said. This just seems beyond the point of ridiculousness and I would never compare myself to a 20 year old. Seems silly. The funny part is he feels that they are soul mates so it is not just about "sex" for him- which he claims they didn't have and I believe it since I saw the texts between them.


----------



## Diana7

thissucks7788 said:


> Thank you for clarifying. I still appreciate your perspective-- I asked
> 
> I admit your women my age response vs younger woman did give me food for thought into the male mind when getting back into the dating pool. (I'll keep my comments to myself on some of my other thoughts though, lol)


Thankfully some men even date women their own age and are happy to do so. As did my husband. Shock horror. 

It makes me laugh when I hear these older guys claiming that women their age can't keep up with them etc etc. 
It's all nonsense of course. Just an excuse to go after women their daughters age or not much older.


----------



## Anastasia6

*Deidre* said:


> @thissucks7788 - suppose your husband was leaving for someone closer to your ages, would you be feeling the same? I think you would, and maybe worse, actually. Either way, you'd be wondering what you don't have that the other woman has. In this case, this girl represents a fantasy to your husband. But, if your husband was chasing after a woman closer to your age, and was deep into an emotional affair, you might feel worse because she 'gets him.'
> 
> What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter who he is leaving you for...the fact that he would leave a solid marriage where you love and care for him, shows that he lacks character. And he would rather be adored than loved. He would rather the attention of other women (doesn't matter their ages) than the love of one.
> 
> When you start processing that it isn't you at all, but that he's chasing the wind looking for something to fill a void, you'll start healing. But you have been married a long time, so it will take time. In a way, I feel sorry for him because he will realize all he lost, and you will (hopefully) have moved on by then.


@thissucks7788 we can all banter about age and men being foolish but the above is so true.

No matter why he is doing this it just sucks and hurts and will effect your long term ability to trust another relationship....

It most likely is a mid-life crisis more dependent on his aging and trying to convince himself he's still hot stuff. He's let this infatuation most likely also skew his thoughts of you and breed discontentment (thought that is often a side effect of mid-life anyway).


----------



## Diana7

Anastasia6 said:


> I just wouldn't want a young 'man' I look at them and think, no no no no.
> 
> And the men that want 20 year olds. They can have them cause I wouldn't want to touch them with a 10 foot pole. Who really wants to date a pedofile. Cause that is what a 50 year old dating a 20 year old basically is.


Well maybe not a phedophile , but pretty creepy.


----------



## Diana7

Op, what efforts is he making to date this girl? If she has said no it's hard to understand how he thinks he will change her mind.


----------



## TexasMom1216

thissucks7788 said:


> The funny part is he feels that they are soul mates


This is both funny and sad.

The only place this guy has in your life is in the rear view mirror.


----------



## In Absentia

This thread is a perfect example of generalisations taken to the extreme…


----------



## thissucks7788

Diana7 said:


> Op, what efforts is he making to date this girl? If she has said no it's hard to understand how he thinks he will change her mind.


Without getting into the messy business part of this- she does a small side "job"-lol w/ commission for business (yes he is putting himself in jeopardy with this but moving on) So I wonder if she flirts a little to keep her hustle going-- this also puts her in a bad spot admittedly. I know prior he has been texting her how much he loves/needs her and saying how they will be great together etc... I saw their texts and she doesn't seem interested. I sent her a private FB msg when I found out (nicely) and she said she never wanted this and I told her I believed her based on the texts. I told my H initially that he is making fool of himself and she is not into him. I don't know what he is doing now b/c I helped him find an apt and get out of my home and than did no contact. So, who knows?


----------



## *Deidre*

I would be careful to believe really anything your husband is saying @thissucks7788 - he very well could be further along into a relationship with this girl than he tells you because he doesn’t want you ending things yet. So he keeps the door ajar (so he thinks) with you. Men and women don’t leave their marriages for “what ifs.” Who knows for sure but...just be careful and protect your assets and yourself. He’s not really on your side, anymore.


----------



## Anastasia6

thissucks7788 said:


> Without getting into the messy business part of this- she does a small side "job"-lol w/ commission for business (yes he is putting himself in jeopardy with this but moving on) So I wonder if she flirts a little to keep her hustle going-- this also puts her in a bad spot admittedly. I know prior he has been texting her how much he loves/needs her and saying how they will be great together etc... I saw their texts and she doesn't seem interested. I sent her a private FB msg when I found out (nicely) and she said she never wanted this and I told her I believed her based on the texts. I told my H initially that he is making fool of himself and she is not into him. I don't know what he is doing now b/c I helped him find an apt and get out of my home and than did no contact. So, who knows?


Get with a lawyer and get a good and fair or outsized settlement before he blows up the business. Also while he's still over the moon thinking he can get her.

Once he figures out he can't then he'll try to drag it out or not split fair.

Oh and if you go see a few of the best lawyers in town often times they won't take your husband as a client even if youdon't end up hiring them.


----------



## Sfort

Diana7 said:


> It makes me laugh when I hear these older guys claiming that women their age can't keep up with them


I wonder about this, too. Are they saying they can't keep up with them sexually (that's a joke with enough lube) or physically?


----------



## hamadryad

The generalizations in this thread are absolutely laughable...

My 19 year old daughter is probably more mature, intelligent and responsible than a good percentage of women "her mothers age"....Ive met plenty of these women, some mothers of her friends....What a bunch of lunk heads...lol...I had both a business and a mortgage at the age of 23....Age doesn't mean crap in a lot of cases...

I have a few colleagues that have much younger women for wives...I know in 2 of the three cases, there is a zero chance its for the money, because they really don't have very much...

I'm not defending the OP's guy, just pointing out and dispelling the notion that any person couldn't possibly pull this off...As with most things in life....it depends on the individuals...


----------



## TexasMom1216

thissucks7788 said:


> Without getting into the messy business part of this- she does a small side "job"-lol w/ commission for business (yes he is putting himself in jeopardy with this but moving on) So I wonder if she flirts a little to keep her hustle going-- this also puts her in a bad spot admittedly. I know prior he has been texting her how much he loves/needs her and saying how they will be great together etc... I saw their texts and she doesn't seem interested. I sent her a private FB msg when I found out (nicely) and she said she never wanted this and I told her I believed her based on the texts. I told my H initially that he is making fool of himself and she is not into him. I don't know what he is doing now b/c I helped him find an apt and get out of my home and than did no contact. So, who knows?


More importantly, who cares? This is bush-league, high school nonsense. You deserve better.


----------



## ConanHub

Diana7 said:


> Thankfully some men even date women their own age and are happy to do so. As did my husband. Shock horror.
> 
> It makes me laugh when I hear these older guys claiming that women their age can't keep up with them etc etc.
> It's all nonsense of course. Just an excuse to go after women their daughters age or not much older.


Actually I think the one guy who posted that did say the women his age, where he was, were not that interested in the physical side of a relationship and didn't mind being honest about it up front.

We have a lot of folks with a lot of different experiences here.


----------



## Numb26

ConanHub said:


> Actually I think the one guy who posted that did say the women his age, where he was, were not that interested in the physical side of a relationship and didn't mind being honest about it up front.
> 
> We have a lot of folks with a lot of different experiences here.


Yeah, I wasn't going to be dragged into that argument. 🤣🤣🤣


----------



## ConanHub

hamadryad said:


> The generalizations in this thread are absolutely laughable...
> 
> My 19 year old daughter is probably more mature, intelligent and responsible than a good percentage of women "her mothers age"....Ive met plenty of these women, some mothers of her friends....What a bunch of lunk heads...lol...I had both a business and a mortgage at the age of 23....Age doesn't mean crap in a lot of cases...
> 
> I have a few colleagues that have much younger women for wives...I know in 2 of the three cases, there is a zero chance its for the money, because they really don't have very much...
> 
> I'm not defending the OP's guy, just pointing out and dispelling the notion that any person couldn't possibly pull this off...As with most things in life....it depends on the individuals...


I'll agree that there are different experiences from region to region.

You still probably wouldn't want you're daughter marrying a man who is 50 in most circumstances.


----------



## Diana7

thissucks7788 said:


> Without getting into the messy business part of this- she does a small side "job"-lol w/ commission for business (yes he is putting himself in jeopardy with this but moving on) So I wonder if she flirts a little to keep her hustle going-- this also puts her in a bad spot admittedly. I know prior he has been texting her how much he loves/needs her and saying how they will be great together etc... I saw their texts and she doesn't seem interested. I sent her a private FB msg when I found out (nicely) and she said she never wanted this and I told her I believed her based on the texts. I told my H initially that he is making fool of himself and she is not into him. I don't know what he is doing now b/c I helped him find an apt and get out of my home and than did no contact. So, who knows?


Hopefully she has stopped any flirty stuff now. The last thing he needs is any encouragement! She probably just enjoyed the attention but you have to wonder how long it will take him to realise that it's never going to happen.
She needs to stop all contact really.


----------



## hamadryad

Diana7 said:


> It makes me laugh when I hear these older guys claiming that women their age can't keep up with them etc etc.
> It's all nonsense of course.


Laugh all you want, but in many cases, its the reality...and it's not only men, btw....there are very active and very fit older women, that would have a very hard time finding someone in the same age group that could physically "keep up"...

I don't know how old you are, but probably a bit older than me( pretend that you are mid 50s for the sake of this argument)...

Let's say your husband trained at a gym 5/6 days a week, had a body like an Adonis, and spent a lot of his free time in fairly rigorous physical activities....Would you be up for that when you are 56 years old? And if you weren't then how small would the pool of available women be for that type of guy? 

I don't know if the person who mentioned that was talking only about sex....Maybe it was merely just the lifestyle (and/or appearance)..


----------



## Rus47

thissucks7788 said:


> My personal theory is he turned 50- having a mlc- started powerlifting and wants to see if he still "has it". Fell into limerence with this young girl


I think your theory is exactly on target. If not this particular young thing, there will be onecwhi will tske him to cleaners. Sorry


----------



## thissucks7788

I have enjoyed reading so many different perspectives on this. I asked for different opinions… And I got it, lol. Thank you all!😊


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> I'll agree that there are different experiences from region to region.


Nah. Dirty old men are dirty old men, and they're not having meaningful relationships with girls their daughter's age. Anyone trying to justify it is likely trying to validate their own shallow choices. There's nothing wrong with having a "sugar baby," it's the world's oldest profession, after all. What is the line? "I get older and they stay the same age."


----------



## hamadryad

ConanHub said:


> I'll agree that there are different experiences from region to region.
> 
> You still probably wouldn't want you're daughter marrying a man who is *50 in most circumstances.*


No argument, and id go a bit further and say under NO circumstances..

But that wasn't the point of the post...This thinking that age immediately dictates intellect/experience/maturity is flawed.....Plenty of immature morons in later years and just as many younger people with all their sht together..


----------



## Rob_1

Anastasia6 said:


> That's the view you keep spouting. I clearly said I don't think all men are like that. Those that are and use biology as an excuse for being a low quality individual can have any of the 20 year olds they can find. I wouldn't want them in my mating pool anyway.




I read your point and understood clearly. You said "some men", but what I read from you is in reality a negative view of men. When you say that it feels like men being pedophiles for being with a much younger woman, to me that's a biased view, which shows your prejudice.

Now, I'm not "spouting" anything, nor using biology as an excuse. I'm just saying what "reality is. We may wish for a beautiful, full of rainbows world, like made in Disneyland, but that's not the "real" world. The world is what it is and that's that. We can try to change what we are; we may someday achieve that or we may never, but the truth is that world is what it is, and it did not come up from out of a hat, neither were men. What you, and many women refuse to see is that from a biological and social point of view "most" men since the beginning of time have desired more than one woman and would do what they can to get that. Just look at written history, it's all there for you to see and learn. 

To this day, based on cultural and economical facts in most of the world they still would want that if they could afford it. To us living in a western world, "now" that seems like a social taboo, and men that still do that are catalog, specially by woman as sick perverts. But I can tell you those men that desire a relationship with a much younger woman don't think so.
What we see in "today's world" is this much older man getting involved with a much younger woman as a fool, that in the long run will get his yet, when the young woman have her fill of what he can offer, or not, because there are plenty of cases where this type of unions succeeds until to man dies. 

All I'm saying is, this is how the world is, not how I, or anyone else wish it to be, regardless if some of us would consider that inmoral. Like I previously said, just the "Mick Jagger's" of this world can afford, and be seen cool having women some 40 something years younger bearing him children still. He has the money, he gets them, who am I to condemn him? just like there are some very rich women that "pay" to have some young dude by their side.

But yeah, I must be "spouting" views, rather than calling it like it is.


----------



## Diana7

hamadryad said:


> The generalizations in this thread are absolutely laughable...
> 
> My 19 year old daughter is probably more mature, intelligent and responsible than a good percentage of women "her mothers age"....Ive met plenty of these women, some mothers of her friends....What a bunch of lunk heads...lol...I had both a business and a mortgage at the age of 23....Age doesn't mean crap in a lot of cases...
> 
> I have a few colleagues that have much younger women for wives...I know in 2 of the three cases, there is a zero chance its for the money, because they really don't have very much...
> 
> I'm not defending the OP's guy, just pointing out and dispelling the notion that any person couldn't possibly pull this off...As with most things in life....it depends on the individuals...


I doubt your friends have wives 30 years younger. 
I also doubt that most 20 years are more mature that most 50 years olds. 
I know quite a few women with younger husband's, not 30 years though. 
The chances of a middle aged man of 5O ending up with a 20 year old is highly unlikely unless he is v rich. It very rarely happens not surprisingly. 
Most 20 year olds, especially if they are indeed mature, wouldn't even consider a guy older than their dad. 
I was a very mature 20 year old, married, my own house, child at 21. Why would anyone so young be remotely interested in anyone so old? 
I know that some men like to think it could happen, but it so very rarely does.


----------



## Numb26

hamadryad said:


> Laugh all you want, but in many cases, its the reality...and it's not only men, btw....there are very active and very fit older women, that would have a very hard time finding someone in the same age group that could physically "keep up"...
> 
> I don't know how old you are, but probably a bit older than me( pretend that you are mid 50s for the sake of this argument)...
> 
> Let's say your husband trained at a gym 5/6 days a week, had a body like an Adonis, and spent a lot of his free time in fairly rigorous physical activities....Would you be up for that when you are 56 years old? And if you weren't then how small would the pool of available women be for that type of guy?
> 
> I don't know if the person who mentioned that was talking only about sex....Maybe it was merely just the lifestyle (and/or appearance)..


I was talking about lifestyle and appearance. Sex doesn't usually even come into the picture if they can't keep up with those two things. I am more active then most 30 years olds and it shows.


----------



## Diana7

Rob_1 said:


> I read your point and understood clearly. You said "some men", but what I read from you is in reality a negative view of men. When you say that it feels like men being pedophiles for being with a much younger woman, to me that's a biased view, which shows your prejudice.
> 
> Now, I'm not "spouting" anything, nor using biology as an excuse. I'm just saying what "reality is. We may wish for a beautiful, full of rainbows world, like made in Disneyland, but that's not the "real" world. The world is what it is and that's that. We can try to change what we are; we may someday achieve that or we may never, but the truth is that world is what it is, and it did not come up from out of a hat, neither were men. What you, and many women refuse to see is that from a biological and social point of view "most" men since the beginning of time have desired more than one woman and would do what they can to get that. Just look at written history, it's all there for you to see and learn.
> 
> To this day, based on cultural and economical facts in most of the world they still would want that if they could afford it. To us living in a western world, "now" that seems like a social taboo, and men that still do that are catalog, specially by woman as sick perverts. But I can tell you those men that desire a relationship with a much younger woman don't think so.
> What we see in "today's world" is this much older man getting involved with a much younger woman as a fool, that in the long run will get his yet, when the young woman have her fill of what he can offer, or not, because there are plenty of cases where this type of unions succeeds until to man dies.
> 
> All I'm saying is, this is how the world is, not how I, or anyone else wish it to be, regardless if some of us would consider that inmoral. Like I previously said, just the "Mick Jagger's" of this world can afford, and be seen cool having women some 40 something years younger bearing him children still. He has the money, he gets them, who am I to condemn him? just like there are some very rich women that "pay" to have some young dude by their side.
> 
> But yeah, I must be "spouting" views, rather than calling it like it is.


Its how your world is. It's not how many others world is. Many men have no interest in more that one women or a 30 year age gap. Many are more than happy with their one wife of a similar age. 
As for the money aspect, some people will do practically anything for money. Even dating an old ugly guy like Mick Jagger.


----------



## Diana7

Numb26 said:


> I was talking about lifestyle and appearance. Sex doesn't usually even come into the picture if they can't keep up with those two things. I am more active then most 30 years olds and it shows.


Many men like to think this, I doubt it's true.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Diana7 said:


> Its how your world is. It's not how many others world is. Many men have no interest in more that one women or a 30 year age gap. Many are more than happy with their one wife of a similar age.
> As for the money aspect, some people will do practically anything for money. Even dating an old ugly guy like Mick Jagger.


It's a very old profession.


----------



## hamadryad

Diana7 said:


> I doubt your friends have wives 30 years younger.
> I also doubt that most 20 years are more mature that most 50 years olds.
> I know quite a few women with younger husband's, not 30 years though.
> The chances of a middle aged man of 5O ending up with a 20 year old is highly unlikely unless he is v rich. It very rarely happens not surprisingly.
> Most 20 year olds, especially if they are indeed mature, wouldn't even consider a guy older than their dad.
> I was a very mature 20 year old, married, my own house, child at 21. Why would anyone so young be remotely interested in anyone so old?
> I know that some men like to think it could happen, but it so very rarely does.



Im not going to do a line by line dissection of your post...You are a nice person, but your life experience is very....._.and I mean very._.....limited...


----------



## RandomDude

Rus47 said:


> The ladies still go for the old rockers like Jagger or the tough guys like Norris. So once a stud always one I suppose





Diana7 said:


> They are rich and famous. No young woman would give them a second look if they had a normal job with an average wage. Plus Mick Jagger is plain ugly.





ConanHub said:


> I totally agree with you about Mick but Chuck was remarkably preserved in his fifties and might have still been able to date women in their thirties even without fame.😉


That's my ticket then! To be like Chuck Norris!


----------



## Anastasia6




----------



## ConanHub

hamadryad said:


> No argument, and id go a bit further and say under NO circumstances..
> 
> But that wasn't the point of the post...This thinking that age immediately dictates intellect/experience/maturity is flawed.....Plenty of immature morons in later years and just as many younger people with all their sht together..


Yeah I'm wanting to be careful navigating this topic because OP is spot on and her ex is an old fool.

I have a close friend (for around 48 years) that stayed in the small town we grew up in, became a leo and couldn't find a suitable mate in the small gene pool and women weren't exactly flocking to the town.

He married a Phillipine woman who is around 18 years younger than him.

She's just as smart and more mature than him and they've built a very good life for themselves in that town.

I was sceptical of her intentions at first (I'd known my buddy forever so I knew he was a straight shooter) but she has shown a real love for him and they have a 6 year old boy now.

I remember joking that my grandkids could date his children!😁

They are a good team but the culture is a lot different than the U.S.


----------



## Anastasia6

Rob_1 said:


> I read your point and understood clearly. You said "some men", but what I read from you is in reality a negative view of men. When you say that it feels like men being pedophiles for being with a much younger woman, to me that's a biased view, which shows your prejudice.
> 
> Now, I'm not "spouting" anything, nor using biology as an excuse. I'm just saying what "reality is. We may wish for a beautiful, full of rainbows world, like made in Disneyland, but that's not the "real" world. The world is what it is and that's that. We can try to change what we are; we may someday achieve that or we may never, but the truth is that world is what it is, and it did not come up from out of a hat, neither were men. What you, and many women refuse to see is that from a biological and social point of view "most" men since the beginning of time have desired more than one woman and would do what they can to get that. Just look at written history, it's all there for you to see and learn.
> 
> To this day, based on cultural and economical facts in most of the world they still would want that if they could afford it. To us living in a western world, "now" that seems like a social taboo, and men that still do that are catalog, specially by woman as sick perverts. But I can tell you those men that desire a relationship with a much younger woman don't think so.
> What we see in "today's world" is this much older man getting involved with a much younger woman as a fool, that in the long run will get his yet, when the young woman have her fill of what he can offer, or not, because there are plenty of cases where this type of unions succeeds until to man dies.
> 
> All I'm saying is, this is how the world is, not how I, or anyone else wish it to be, regardless if some of us would consider that inmoral. Like I previously said, just the "Mick Jagger's" of this world can afford, and be seen cool having women some 40 something years younger bearing him children still. He has the money, he gets them, who am I to condemn him? just like there are some very rich women that "pay" to have some young dude by their side.
> 
> But yeah, I must be "spouting" views, rather than calling it like it is.


I don't have a negative view of men.

I do have a negative view of men who would date people 30 years younger than them.


----------



## ConanHub

Anastasia6 said:


> View attachment 85552


This is interesting. Is this a U.S. study?


----------



## TexasMom1216

Anastasia6 said:


> I don't have a negative view of men.
> 
> I do have a negative view of men who would date people 30 years younger than them.


Isn't it funny how when you point out something a man does that isn't nice, suddenly you have a "negative view of men"? It's almost like by labeling you a "man-hater" they are absolving themselves of any responsibility for what they do... plus people keep calling it "dating." Yeah, dating implies a personal relationship. It's a business transaction, nothing more.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> He married a Phillipine woman who is around 18 years younger than him.


How did he meet her, if you don't mind my asking?


----------



## Anastasia6

ConanHub said:


> This is interesting. Is this a U.S. study?











Age Gap and Marriage Divorce Correlation and Study


Age Gap and Marriage, Divorce, Correlation and Study, Atlantic study, age difference, weddings, marriage and divorce, age difference and divorce




www.purposedrivenlawyers.com





believe so. it was on several sites so I don't know the original source. I don't think this law firm was the original

Apparently it comes from an Atlanta based attorney who wrote a book
Divorce: Protect yourself, your kids and your future

ETA: apparently divorce rates for people who marry and then have kids is also a lot lower than these people who have kids and then get married.

@thissucks7788 you seemed to want to explore the topic of old fools... But if you find all this distracting let me know we will stick just to your old fool. (who sucks!!!)


----------



## hamadryad

The misandry by the usual culprits is legendary on this thread....Next level kind of stuff...smh


----------



## ConanHub

Anastasia6 said:


> Age Gap and Marriage Divorce Correlation and Study
> 
> 
> Age Gap and Marriage, Divorce, Correlation and Study, Atlantic study, age difference, weddings, marriage and divorce, age difference and divorce
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.purposedrivenlawyers.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> believe so. it was on several sites so I don't know the original source. I don't think this law firm was the original


I found the source. It was a group of professors from Emory.


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> How did he meet her, if you don't mind my asking?


Online dating to start followed by several trips he made to be vetted by her family.

They both have jobs though he is apparently getting close to early retirement. He started in law enforcement pretty quickly after highschool.


----------



## ConanHub

Anastasia6 said:


> ETA: apparently divorce rates for people who marry and then have kids is also a lot lower than these people who have kids and then get married.


This makes more sense. I was not agreeing with the blanket percentages as a lot of very solid marriages have a 5-7 or even 10 year gap.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> Online dating to start followed by several trips he made to be vetted by her family.
> 
> They both have jobs though he is apparently getting close to early retirement. He started in law enforcement pretty quickly after highschool.


I see. I used to work with a guy who "met" his "wife" in a similar fashion. The culture is very different, young women are essentially sold to men. I'm sure she's happy, what she has here is worlds better than what she'd face at home.


----------



## Anastasia6

ConanHub said:


> This makes more sense. I was not agreeing with the blanket percentages as a lot of very solid marriages have a 5-7 or even 10 year gap.


Well I do know a few 10 year 12 year gap marriages on pretty solid footing. I've never known a 30 year gap.

But you know those are relative percents. 

So if a normal marriage has a divorce rate of 45% the 20year age gap is 95% higher which is about a 88% divorce rate.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> This makes more sense. I was not agreeing with the blanket percentages as a lot of very solid marriages have a 5-7 or even 10 year gap.


I'd need to see the underlying data. I mean, the difference between 33 and 23 is huge. The difference between 43 and 33 is much smaller, and 53 and 43 is hardly noticeable. There are a lot of variables not explained by that one chart.


----------



## Anastasia6

TexasMom1216 said:


> I'd need to see the underlying data. I mean, the difference between 33 and 23 is huge. The difference between 43 and 33 is much smaller, and 53 and 43 is hardly noticeable. There are a lot of variables not explained by that one chart.


Exactly my thoughts. the difference between 20 and 28 is huge. 58 and 40 not as much. Young people just aren't really developed at 20 really.

I was very mature at 20. But I was a lot more mature at 25.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Anastasia6 said:


> I was very mature at 20. But I was a lot more mature at 25.


When I was 20, I didn't know how to put gas in my own car and I couldn't balance my checkbook. By 28 I bought a house by myself. A lot can happen in your 20s.


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> I see. I used to work with a guy who "met" his "wife" in a similar fashion. The culture is very different, young women are essentially sold to men. I'm sure she's happy, what she has here is worlds better than what she'd face at home.


I'm definitely aware of the crap that can, and does, go on. I wasn't worried about my friend having known him my whole life and her family was very strong and she had a good support network.

They are a different culture but her family was making sure she wasn't sold. He had a lot of proving to do to her family as well as her before marriage was consented to.

The courtship was a lot closer to Victorian era chivalry than what goes on in most cases in the U.S.

My friend was definitely a good choice. He is one of the most honorable men I've ever known. Far more proper than this barbarian.😉


----------



## Diana7

hamadryad said:


> Im not going to do a line by line dissection of your post...You are a nice person, but your life experience is very....._.and I mean very._.....limited...


Actually it's far far from limited. I wish it had been more limited then I wouldn't have had to face such awful things and suffer so much in my life. 
I am pretty sure I know and have known just as many married couples as you. Just as many divorces. Just as many cheaters. That's just in my own family. 😲
What I do know is that practically no 20 year old woman would give a middle aged guy of 50 a second look. A few may do if he was very rich but that's it. It's totally unrealistic to think otherwise.


----------



## Anastasia6

TexasMom1216 said:


> When I was 20, I didn't know how to put gas in my own car and I couldn't balance my checkbook. By 28 I bought a house by myself. A lot can happen in your 20s.


Well I started working at 15 to eat and watch my niece and help my mom. I was the first to enter college in my family on both sides (in engineering no less). I paid my own way with only $4000 in student loans for 4 years of school. So I was mature and I fixed my own car. When I didn't have one of the boys who were always hanging around do it.

But I still had some maturing to do. Once I graduated college and ditched my totally wrong for me fiancé, I finally was more mature and ready to begin my life.


----------



## Diana7

TexasMom1216 said:


> When I was 20, I didn't know how to put gas in my own car and I couldn't balance my checkbook. By 28 I bought a house by myself. A lot can happen in your 20s.


I left home and married at 19. Did all the finances etc. Bought our first home at 20. Had our first child at 21. Young people were far more mature then, now they usually aren't.


----------



## ConanHub

Anastasia6 said:


> Well I do know a few 10 year 12 year gap marriages on pretty solid footing. I've never known a 30 year gap.
> 
> But you know those are relative percents.
> 
> So if a normal marriage has a divorce rate of 45% the 20year age gap is 95% higher which is about a 88% divorce rate.


Yup I was noting the increase but just couldn't buy it as a blanket reality without other factors.

I don't personally know anyone with more than the 18 year one of my friend and that is more of a cultural norm for where she came from.

Most people I know are 10 years and under.

Mrs. C is 11 years my senior but I realize we are a statistical anomaly.


----------



## Diana7

ConanHub said:


> This makes more sense. I was not agreeing with the blanket percentages as a lot of very solid marriages have a 5-7 or even 10 year gap.


Those age gaps are pretty normal and reasonable.


----------



## Anastasia6

Here's two articles that I found interesting








I Married an Older Man. Here's Why I Regret It. — Best Life


Is age really just a number? Discover the story of one woman who married an older man and has come to regret her decision ever since.




bestlifeonline.com












I Married a Younger Woman. Here's Why I Regret It. — Best Life


Men have married younger women since time immemorial, but there's more to May-December relationships than meets the eye—find out what it's really like.




bestlifeonline.com





But face it. Is he looking to marry this girl? You did say it was his soulmate or something, so maybe.

He's probably thinking short term and hasn't thought long term

So @thissucks7788 when you meeting with a lawyer?


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> When I was 20, I didn't know how to put gas in my own car and I couldn't balance my checkbook. By 28 I bought a house by myself. A lot can happen in your 20s.


LoL! When I was 20, I was riding a motorcycle, had hair down to my waste, was getting interrogated by the police almost every month and had plans that would have ended my life before age 30.

By 28, I was a married father of two, saving for our first home on a single income and going through seminary.😉

I heartily agree.


----------



## hamadryad

Diana7 said:


> Actually it's far far from limited. I wish it had been more limited then I wouldn't have had to face such awful things and suffer so much in my life.
> I am pretty sure I know and have known just as many married couples as you. Just as many divorces. Just as many cheaters. That's just in my own family. 😲
> What I do know is that practically no 20 year old woman would give a middle aged guy of 50 a second look. A few may do if he was very rich but that's it. It's totally unrealistic to think otherwise.


With all due respect, judging from your posts, you may as well be from another planet... 😂 

That doesn't make either one of us "bad: but it's highly unlikely that we would share any real world life experiences..Sorry


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> By 28, I was a married father of two, saving for our first home on a single income and going through *seminary*.


Zoinks. But to ask about this would further this already pretty advanced threadjack. We'll save it for another time.


----------



## ConanHub

hamadryad said:


> With all due respect, judging from your posts, you may as well be from another planet... 😂
> 
> That doesn't make either one of us "bad: but it's highly unlikely that we would share any real world life experiences..Sorry


Seriously!🤣


----------



## Always Learning

ConanHub said:


> Sounds like old fool syndrome to me.
> 
> Some, both men and women, lose their damn minds and blow up their lives during or even after midlife, chasing after a fantasy.
> 
> I'm 51 and over the last 10 years I've had my fair share of young ladies make a pass.
> 
> I'm about as married as anyone can get so I shut them down so they could shake their tails somewhere else.
> 
> Even if I was single, I don't think I would even entertain the idea if a woman wasn't at least in her 30's and had her head on straight.
> 
> I have to conclude that your husband just got obsessed and built up a fantasy so much that he started believing it.
> 
> Chuck Norris got away with marrying a woman 23 years younger than him but she was 35 at the time and I somehow doubt your husband has anywhere near the pull old Chuck did.😉


Oh hell! Tony Randall was 77 and fathered a child with a 26 year old and he was no chick Norris! LOL


----------



## thissucks7788

Anastasia6 said:


> Age Gap and Marriage Divorce Correlation and Study
> 
> 
> Age Gap and Marriage, Divorce, Correlation and Study, Atlantic study, age difference, weddings, marriage and divorce, age difference and divorce
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.purposedrivenlawyers.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> believe so. it was on several sites so I don't know the original source. I don't think this law firm was the original
> 
> Apparently it comes from an Atlanta based attorney who wrote a book
> Divorce: Protect yourself, your kids and your future
> 
> ETA: apparently divorce rates for people who marry and then have kids is also a lot lower than these people who have kids and then get married.
> 
> @thissucks7788 you seemed to want to explore the topic of old fools... But if you find all this distracting let me know we will stick just to your old fool. (who sucks!!!)


No problem at all!! I'm enjoying the whole discussion


----------



## lifeistooshort

Anastasia6 said:


> Well I do know a few 10 year 12 year gap marriages on pretty solid footing. I've never known a 30 year gap.
> 
> But you know those are relative percents.
> 
> So if a normal marriage has a divorce rate of 45% the 20year age gap is 95% higher which is about a 88% divorce rate.


The therapist I spoke to for some time told me that in her decades of experience those with a 10 years or less age gap did much better then 10+ years. It gers a little fuzzy when the younger party is early 20’s or less though because the amount of growth and life experience one gains in the 20’s is huge. 

So a 33 yeat old sniffing out a 24 year old is a little creepy, but 40 to 31 is probably ok. It becomes less significant the older both parties get.


----------



## Anastasia6

lifeistooshort said:


> The therapist I spoke to for some time told me that in her decades of experience those with a 10 years or less age gap did much better then 10+ years. It gers a little fuzzy when the younger party is early 20’s or less though because the amount of growth and life experience one gains in the 20’s is huge.
> 
> So a 33 yeat old sniffing out a 24 year old is a little creepy, but 40 to 31 is probably ok. It becomes less significant the older both parties get.


yes the 10 yearish seems to work as long as they are both above 30 ish in the relationships I've seen.

But think on the OP's husband. He's 50. So he will literally be on death's doorstep statistically when she is 45 (75 for males in 2020). How does that work? I mean she isn't even retired and she is supposed to 'deal' with his ailments prior to death? What about kids. She doesn't want any or a toddler needs a 55 year old dad. It's just gross by the time you hit a 30 year age gap and one is 20 year old.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Anastasia6 said:


> It's just gross by the time you hit a 30 year age gap and one is 20 year old.


It is gross, really gross. Also, I highly doubt he's thinking about marriage and family. He's thinking with his little head. Why do you think he's clinging so hard to the OP?


----------



## ConanHub

Always Learning said:


> Oh hell! Tony Randall was 77 and fathered a child with a 26 year old and he was no chick Norris! LOL


Who?

Holy moly!!? 50 year difference???!!??


----------



## lifeistooshort

Anastasia6 said:


> yes the 10 yearish seems to work as long as they are both above 30 ish in the relationships I've seen.
> 
> But think on the OP's husband. He's 50. So he will literally be on death's doorstep statistically when she is 45 (75 for males in 2020). How does that work? I mean she isn't even retired and she is supposed to 'deal' with his ailments prior to death? What about kids. She doesn't want any or a toddler needs a 55 year old dad. It's just gross by the time you hit a 30 year age gap and one is 20 year old.


I think that in the back of his mind he imagines that he'll either go back to the OP or she'll fill in the gaps while he screws 20 year olds and tells himself he's better then her 20 year old counterparts.

That's why he keeps trying to engage her.


----------



## *Deidre*

I think studies have shown that married people who have affairs and divorce to be with their affair partners, rarely work out if they marry each other, regardless of age. Because most of the time, when people have affairs, they're trying to fill a void in themselves, and when the glitter of the affair wears off, that void is still there.

From a few stories on here, for some reason when cheaters learn that their former partner/spouse has closed the door, they come running back, begging to try again. Someone said in this thread ''cake eater'' and that is what your husband sounds like, OP.

Please close the door!😄


----------



## Anastasia6

TexasMom1216 said:


> It is gross, really gross. Also, I highly doubt he's thinking about marriage and family. He's thinking with his little head. Why do you think he's clinging so hard to the OP?





thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting perspective.
> My husband did not seem at all unhappy and "claims" to still love me but let's face it, his actions say otherwise. He still wants to contact me and see me (which I am not interested). He seems to miss our closeness and talking to me. I think it was great for him when he was still in our relationship-- he gets all of me and my benefits (talking, laughing, sex) while fantasizing about this girl who I think he believed he could win over. *That she was his cosmic soul mate (eye roll).* It all changed when I found the texts of him expressing his love and need for her. I mean wtf is that.


Apparently he's think she's more than just cute.


----------



## Diana7

hamadryad said:


> With all due respect, judging from your posts, you may as well be from another planet... 😂
> 
> That doesn't make either one of us "bad: but it's highly unlikely that we would share any real world life experiences..Sorry


That's because I don't write much about my life here. 
Apart from my mother and grandmother's suicide and my very traumatic and terribly sudden ending of my 25 year marriage after discovering some terrible things my ex did which meant the police were involved. 
I haven't mentioned other awful stuff, so no I doubt you have had to experience the things I have thankfully for you.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Anastasia6 said:


> Apparently he's think she's more than just cute.


He said the words "cosmic soul mate." What serious adult says that? He knows this is purely physical with her. That's why he wants to keep the OP on the hook. Everyone involved knows what's going on here.


----------



## Enigma32

Diana7 said:


> Honestly, good women aren't rare, there are plenty.
> Must admit I think the women who ever dates a guy 30 years younger is very rare. I know a few women married to guys say 5-7 years younger but that's about the max I have ever seen.


If you think it's rare, I invite you to come on down to the beach here where I am. Your perspective will change. The clubs are full of 40+ cougars with fake boobs and nipple piercings hitting on guys in their early 20s. Or you could walk into one of those late night car meets we have where the older ladies are flashing their tits to the young cars guys in hopes of getting laid. There probably won't be many marriages but someone definitely out to have a bit of fun.


----------



## ConanHub

Diana7 said:


> That's because I don't write much about my life here.
> Apart from my mother and grandmother's suicide and my very traumatic and terribly sudden ending of my 25 year marriage after discovering some terrible things my ex did which meant the police were involved.
> I haven't mentioned other awful stuff, so no I doubt you have had to experience the things I have thankfully for you.


Diana, you are a world away from many in experiences if we are to believe your posts.

I think most are willing to believe your take on your experiences but that does seem to be a one way road.


----------



## Anastasia6

@thissucks7788 you deserve so much more than your husband is offering you. Regardless of his chances with her. He has shown you how he values you.

He is also using the old cheaters handbook. He wants to remain friends so he doesn't have to feel bad about being emotionally abusive. But what friend would treat you like this?

He probably in this month also wanted or expected the sex to continue until he found your replacement. 

You helped him get an apartment. Please don't help him. Please get a lawyer. I see you said you've went no contact so that's good.

Just know you are valuable whether he sees it or not. You are entitled to 1/2 the marital assets. You are entitled not to be his stand by wife. 

You haven't said other than bewildered. ... How are you doing?


----------



## Rus47

ConanHub said:


> Who?
> 
> Holy moly!!? 50 year difference???!!??


My great grandfather fathered his 14th child by his third wife (age 28) at age 95. She became a widow 10 years later. His first two wives died.


----------



## ConanHub

Rus47 said:


> My great grandfather fathered his 14th child by his third wife (age 28) at age 95. She became a widow 10 years later. His first two wives died.


Those were definitely different times and your great grandfather was made of iron.😳


----------



## Always Learning

Bounceback67 said:


> I am 60, in my opinion women in their 20s look great but Women 40 + are Way More Sexy !


I agree, I'm the same age and would never date a 20 year old, I'd probably have tro listen to Rap music and that would be over the limit for me! LOL.


----------



## Rus47

ConanHub said:


> Those were definitely different times and your great grandfather was made of iron.😳


He hunted and trapped until his last day on this planet.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Rus47 said:


> The ladies still go for the old rockers like Jagger or the tough guys like Norris. So once a stud always one I suppose


Money and talent and fame can take you a long ways. At least the talent part of it is genuine and speaks to some sort of substance.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

ConanHub said:


> I've had my share of young women and I ended with the love of my life but I haven't had my muscle car yet so I think I'm due.😉


I bet Numb can make you a deal on one.


----------



## thissucks7788

Anastasia6 said:


> @thissucks7788 you deserve so much more than your husband is offering you. Regardless of his chances with her. He has shown you how he values you.
> 
> He is also using the old cheaters handbook. He wants to remain friends so he doesn't have to feel bad about being emotionally abusive. But what friend would treat you like this?
> 
> He probably in this month also wanted or expected the sex to continue until he found your replacement.
> 
> You helped him get an apartment. Please don't help him. Please get a lawyer. I see you said you've went no contact so that's good.
> 
> Just know you are valuable whether he sees it or not. You are entitled to 1/2 the marital assets. You are entitled not to be his stand by wife.
> 
> You haven't said other than bewildered. ... How are you doing?


Thank you and I agree. I found him an apartment only b/c I wanted him out like yesterday-- too hard with him in the house. I have spoken to a lawyer. I am a big believer in no contact for so many reasons!


----------



## DownByTheRiver

ConanHub said:


> Well I'm not bad off but not exactly wealthy.
> 
> I might just restore one myself.😉


Or just get yourself a new muscle car like a Camaro or mustang GT or something like that. I like the old cars also because they have so much better interiors.


----------



## Always Learning

Diana7 said:


> They are rich and famous. No young woman would give them a second look if they had a normal job with an average wage. Plus Mick Jagger is plain ugly.


I use Mick and Steven Tyler as examples all the time. Two of the ugliest guys there are but women have been throwing their panties at them for years!


----------



## Anastasia6

thissucks7788 said:


> Thank you and I agree. I found him an apartment only b/c I wanted him out like yesterday-- too hard with him in the house. I have spoken to a lawyer. I am a big believer in no contact for so many reasons!


That's awesome that you found it to get him out!!!

What was his reaction?

How are you enforcing the no contact? Have you blocked him or is he honoring your wishes?


----------



## Rus47

DownByTheRiver said:


> Or just get yourself a new muscle car like a Camaro or mustang GT or something like that. I like the old cars also because they have so much better interiors.


For sure. Buy a new one and in 50 years voila its a classic. Of course by then gasoline to run the thing likely unobtanium.


----------



## hamadryad

.................


----------



## In Absentia

Honestly, if there is a 30 year gap but people in the relationship are happy, who cares? We all assume things based on our culture, experiences and prejudices, but who are we to judge? I’m talking about theory, not about the OP’s idiotic husband…


----------



## thissucks7788

Anastasia6 said:


> That's awesome that you found it to get him out!!!
> 
> What was his reaction?
> 
> How are you enforcing the no contact? Have you blocked him or is he honoring your wishes?


He was unhappy when I told him "I was done with him". I heard --I can't believe you're closing the door on me completely. 

Well, limited contact for son and any business only. Text and keep it on topic only. When he texts personal, I pretty much ignore.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

bobsmith said:


> I think it is that exact mentality that makes women in that age bracket undatable. Not to argue because I agree and have met the women you speak of. You also make it seem like women only come in two flavors. The strong/independent type, or the needy bimbo. Not really the case.
> 
> There are tons of professional studies to conclude that women convey the factors they themselves look for in a guy. Good job, high pay, nice stuff, etc. You know, all things money... They then take a seat on the highest shelf in the castle, concluding they are a top prize. It is quite a turn off for men. NOT the success, but the mentality after.


But that's fine, because they're not needy for that. They don't want that guy interested in them.


----------



## Anastasia6

In Absentia said:


> Honestly, if there is a 30 year gap but people in the relationship are happy, who cares? We all assume things based on our culture, experiences and prejudices, but who are we to judge? I’m talking about theory, not about the OP’s idiotic husband…


Well like always we are the JUDGE 

But in the case of the truly young paired up with the old like 20 with 50 it's a matter of almost taking advantage of someone's youth. Not unlike when they are 16 and we say they aren't ready to make decisions. Sure some 20 year olds make bad decisions with other 20 year olds but that is the blind leading the blind.

A 50 year is well more aware of the world than a 20 year old who literally isn't fully developed yet.

Once they get older than sure any two happy people it is.

Of course then we also come back to the fact that HE"S married and being a cheater.

Generally we judge cheaters to be ****ty around these parts.


----------



## TexasMom1216

thissucks7788 said:


> He was unhappy when I told him "I was done with him". I heard --I can't believe you're closing the door on me completely.


What I hear is, "I can't believe there are going to be consequences to my actions, I was just sure I could lie my way into getting to have a wife AND a girlfriend."


----------



## ConanHub

Always Learning said:


> I use Mick and Steven Tyler as examples all the time. Two of the ugliest guys there are but women have been throwing their panties at them for years!


Yeah, without the fame the women would be throwing bricks.😋


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Anastasia6 said:


> I just wouldn't want a young 'man' I look at them and think, no no no no.
> 
> And the men that want 20 year olds. They can have them cause I wouldn't want to touch them with a 10 foot pole. Who really wants to date a pedofile. Cause that is what a 50 year old dating a 20 year old basically is.


Shallow delusional creeps who you wouldn't want anywhere near your children or their friends.


----------



## Anastasia6

thissucks7788 said:


> He was unhappy when I told him "I was done with him". I heard --I can't believe you're closing the door on me completely.
> 
> Well, limited contact for son and any business only. Text and keep it on topic only. When he texts personal, I pretty much ignore.


Yeah we haven't talked about the fact you have a 15 year old son. Kuddos for showing him not to let people treat you like that.

How is he taking it? How much does he know. I always have believed in telling an age appropriate truth to the kids but not constant bashing type thing. I would have certainly told my 15 year. Daddy can't live with us because he wants a relationship with a 20 year old from work.


----------



## Always Learning

ConanHub said:


> Who?
> 
> Holy moly!!? 50 year difference???!!??


Tony Randell played Felix in the tv show "The Odd Couple" He acted in lots of movies and television


----------



## DownByTheRiver

ConanHub said:


> Actually I think the one guy who posted that did say the women his age, where he was, were not that interested in the physical side of a relationship and didn't mind being honest about it up front.
> 
> We have a lot of folks with a lot of different experiences here.


And that could just be their way of saying they're not interested in him that way, but maybe they are in someone else.


----------



## ConanHub

Always Learning said:


> Tony Randell played Felix in the tv show "The Odd Couple" He acted in lots of movies and television


Yeah. I had to look him up. I never watched that show but he was so famous I had obviously seen his face.

She obviously didn't marry him for his looks though he seemed to have charm.

Someone bigger than life with status and money is believable and she really might have loved him.

She was with him for nearly two decades until he passed and gave him his only two children.

That was an odd couple but it looked like it was pretty real.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Most <30 women I talk to are waitresses, bartenders, or stewardesses. As soon as they say, “like” in a sentence more than a few times whatever mental boner I may have had for them quickly dissipates and makes me feel gross.


----------



## lifeistooshort

thissucks7788 said:


> He was unhappy when I told him "I was done with him". I heard --I can't believe you're closing the door on me completely.
> 
> Well, limited contact for son and any business only. Text and keep it on topic only. When he texts personal, I pretty much ignore.


The entitlement is heavy with this one. You were supposed to sit back and wait for his majesty to see if he could do better before HE decided if he wanted you back. 

You have some nerve 🤣


----------



## DownByTheRiver

hamadryad said:


> Im not going to do a line by line dissection of your post...You are a nice person, but your life experience is very....._.and I mean very._.....limited...


Why, because she knows how to have a successful marriage?


----------



## DownByTheRiver

TexasMom1216 said:


> I see. I used to work with a guy who "met" his "wife" in a similar fashion. The culture is very different, young women are essentially sold to men. I'm sure she's happy, what she has here is worlds better than what she'd face at home.


My Marine cousin met and married a Filipino woman essentially the same way. At least she worked, but she wouldn't contribute any of her earnings to their household. It all had to go back to her relatives. He had a motorcycle accident and lost a leg and while he was in the hospital his insurance check for that arrived and she sent it right on over to the Philippines. They're still married. She's here to bring all the rest of them over and support them. For her it was nothing but a business arrangement. He just wanted someone who he thought would do all the traditional old fashioned woman stuff because his mother was like that. She won't even let him have a pet or anything. If he makes friends with a stray at mysteriously disappears forever.


----------



## *Deidre*

thissucks7788 said:


> He was unhappy when I told him "I was done with him". I heard --I can't believe you're closing the door on me completely.
> 
> Well, limited contact for son and any business only. Text and keep it on topic only. When he texts personal, I pretty much ignore.


This is great to read! Good for you! Stay strong


----------



## In Absentia

Anastasia6 said:


> But in the case of the truly young paired up with the old like 20 with 50 it's a matter of almost taking advantage of someone's youth.


mmm… I think you are underestimating young girls a lot. But I get your point. I would say it depends on the girl. Would I be happy for my daughter? Probably not…


----------



## ConanHub

DownByTheRiver said:


> And that could just be their way of saying they're not interested in him that way, but maybe they are in someone else.


Which makes all the sense in the world to go for women who are interested and they apparently are younger where he is.

I run into women within my age range that are definitely down for sex but if I was single and the only women that were really down for it were a bit younger, that's where I would go.

I'm somewhat frisky even for a guy in his fifties.

If I lost Mrs. C, heaven forbid, I would probably be looking for another wife after a period of mourning but she would absolutely have to be a no nonsense, nitty gritty lady that took care of business.

If I was only finding duds in my range, I would have to go outside that range a bit.

I would definitely leave the girls in their twenties alone because I don't want to be chasing children that don't have a "grand" attached but I would go for a thirty year old if that's all that would be open to action.

It's either that or I start molesting street signs or become Lizzo's boy toy!😵‍💫


----------



## DownByTheRiver

ConanHub said:


> LoL! When I was 20, I was riding a motorcycle, had hair down to my waste, was getting interrogated by the police almost every month and had plans that would have ended my life before age 30.
> 
> By 28, I was a married father of two, saving for our first home on a single income and going through seminary.😉
> 
> I heartily agree.


That was me exactly, that first paragraph. I still wasn't super careful by the time I was 28 either. But I was starting to think about it.


----------



## Anastasia6

In Absentia said:


> mmm… I think you are underestimating young girls a lot. But I get your point. I would say it depends on the girl. Would I be happy for my daughter? Probably not…


I think older people like to use arguments like this to assuage their guilt for wanting a 20 year old. But science says.....


----------



## Diana7

ConanHub said:


> Who?
> 
> Holy moly!!? 50 year difference???!!??


A child at 77? Good grief how selfish.


----------



## ConanHub

DownByTheRiver said:


> Why, because she knows how to have a successful marriage?


That's off. He has a successful marriage and so do I. At least I think he does. I could be recalling incorrectly.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Always Learning said:


> Oh hell! Tony Randall was 77 and fathered a child with a 26 year old and he was no chick Norris! LOL


He was still desperately trying to do something to make people think he wasn't gay after The odd couple.


----------



## ConanHub

Diana7 said:


> A child at 77? Good grief how selfish.


His only children.


----------



## Diana7

In Absentia said:


> Honestly, if there is a 30 year gap but people in the relationship are happy, who cares? We all assume things based on our culture, experiences and prejudices, but who are we to judge? I’m talking about theory, not about the OP’s idiotic husband…


Sadly in many cultures very young women are forced to marry old men. It's sick.
Few people choose to do that.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

hamadryad said:


> lolz....she's divorced at least once(not that it should qualify her as a "loser")...and who knows how her marriage is....I know a ton of people where one thinks the marriage is great and the other thinks it sucks...We only know what little everyone posts...
> 
> But even if her marriage works, that's great, but it means nothing to the rest of the world....


I don't think leaving a bad marriage makes you a loser. She's one of the only people on this forum who seems to know how to be happily married. She's lived long enough to have seen a lot of stuff go on so just because she didn't experience it first hand doesn't make her inexperienced.


----------



## ccpowerslave

ConanHub said:


> I run into women within my age range that are definitely down for sex but if I was single and the only women that were really down for it were a bit younger, that's where I would go


I would go to the gym ladies who know me and have them set me up. Easy and no work for me 😎


----------



## TexasMom1216

DownByTheRiver said:


> My Marine cousin met and married a Filipino woman essentially the same way. At least she worked, but she wouldn't contribute any of her earnings to their household. It all had to go back to her relatives. He had a motorcycle accident and lost a leg and while he was in the hospital his insurance check for that arrived and she sent it right on over to the Philippines. They're still married. She's here to bring all the rest of them over and support them. For her it was nothing but a business arrangement. He just wanted someone who he thought would do all the traditional old fashioned woman stuff because his mother was like that. She won't even let him have a pet or anything. If he makes friends with a stray at mysteriously disappears forever.


The guy I know found his "wife" in Indonesia after his first wife divorced him for cheating. She is his slave, she does everything at home, never disagrees, never asks anything of him as long as she has access to his money which like that situation, goes largely to her family. But she very clearly doesn't love him, and he's not as happy as he keeps insisting he is. He said, "I'll never marry for love again," but now he's got a dead-eyed slave who just endures him for the good of her family.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

ccpowerslave said:


> Most <30 women I talk to are waitresses, bartenders, or stewardesses. As soon as they say, “like” in a sentence more than a few times whatever mental boner I may have had for them quickly dissipates and makes me feel gross.


"That's dope "


----------



## TexasMom1216

DownByTheRiver said:


> "That's dope "


Oh no. I say that. The whole phrase is, "It's too dope, I can't cope." I said that about wine the other night.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

ConanHub said:


> She can make claims about her situation but she sometimes goes off the rails telling others about theirs.


Name someone on this forum who doesn't!


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Anastasia6 said:


> I think older people like to use arguments like this to assuage their guilt for wanting a 20 year old. But science says.....
> 
> View attachment 85561


The part of the brain that can predict consequences. That's why it makes me mad when I see girls getting pregnant too young because I know they don't know what they're getting into and in a few years A lot of them are going to freak out once they understand what they've done.


----------



## ccpowerslave

DownByTheRiver said:


> The part of the brain that can predict consequences. That's why it makes me mad when I see girls getting pregnant too young because I know they don't know what they're getting into and in a few years A lot of them are going to freak out once they understand what they've done.


Isn’t that almost baked into the cake? I talked to my wife about this recently. Neither one of us was opposed to children and thought that we’d kind of stumble into them. But then when we got older we’re like um, we’re good.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

ccpowerslave said:


> Isn’t that almost baked into the cake? I talked to my wife about this recently. Neither one of us was opposed to children and thought that we’d kind of stumble into them. But then when we got older we’re like um, we’re good.


That sums it up why I don't want older men taking over the life of a girl who has no idea what she's getting into.


----------



## thissucks7788

Anastasia6 said:


> Yeah we haven't talked about the fact you have a 15 year old son. Kuddos for showing him not to let people treat you like that.
> 
> How is he taking it? How much does he know. I always have believed in telling an age appropriate truth to the kids but not constant bashing type thing. I would have certainly told my 15 year. Daddy can't live with us because he wants a relationship with a 20 year old from work.


He does know-- he actually heard me confronting him with the texts (not on purpose, but I guess I was yelling) He is taking it fairly well. He thinks his dad has gone insane though and says he should be dating 20 year olds--not him. He actually knows who this girl is.


----------



## TexasMom1216

DownByTheRiver said:


> That sums it up why I don't want older men taking over the life of a girl who has no idea what she's getting into.


THIS. Then she's trapped forever, and he can do as he pleases to her because she has zero control over how she's treated. It's horrible to watch.


----------



## RandomDude

Enigma32 said:


> If you think it's rare, I invite you to come on down to the beach here where I am. Your perspective will change. The clubs are full of 40+ cougars with fake boobs and nipple piercings hitting on guys in their early 20s. Or you could walk into one of those late night car meets we have where the older ladies are flashing their tits to the young cars guys in hopes of getting laid. There probably won't be many marriages but someone definitely out to have a bit of fun.


Wow is that what they do? Bleh! Maybe I just have different tastes...

I still remember when in my 20s I was attracted to older women, most of my exs were older than me actually. Age doesn't always equate sexiness.
For me if 40+ cougar with natural boobs, confident posture, dressed elegantly, strides in with long legs and heels then yeah I would saying rob my cradle please.

Fake boobs, piercings and tit flashing... bleh!


----------



## RandomDude

ccpowerslave said:


> Most <30 women I talk to are waitresses, bartenders, or stewardesses. As soon as they say, “like” in a sentence more than a few times whatever mental boner I may have had for them quickly dissipates and makes me feel gross.





Anastasia6 said:


> I think older people like to use arguments like this to assuage their guilt for wanting a 20 year old. But science says.....
> 
> View attachment 85561


Just out of curiousity,

What if, let's say a 23 yr old entrepreneur with her own home and business. Would it be accurate to say she is fully developed?  
Is 25 a magic moment or a spectrum?


----------



## TexasMom1216

RandomDude said:


> What if, let's say a 23 yr old entrepreneur with her own home and business. Would it be accurate to say she is fully developed?


No. She's bright, hard-working, ambitious and has a lot of promise, but her brain still isn't fully formed. She's certainly not a child, by any means, but I would advise her against marrying for a few more years. Especially if she's say, chasing an older guy at work. Then clearly she needs to work on herself. 😉 😁 😂 😏


----------



## ConanHub

One thing that should be noted here.

OP specifically asked about men and the male perspective here. Her husband has been pretty universally condemned but some men that have posted here, in response to OP's questions, have been quite blatantly insulted and passively called liars for doing just what the OP asked and opening up and sharing.

I like threads that explore a bit and that has to include some edginess but the men sharing their experiences aren't the OP's husband and I know specifically that there are some very respectable men here that are being maligned for simply responding to the OP.

Just to put a splash of cold water on the 20 something women not going after a 50 year old man....

If I was single, I could easily get dates (nothing long term obviously from both sides) with 20 something women just on my looks and presence alone with no mention of finances.

I wouldn't because of aforementioned restrictions I can't get past but not for lack of eagerness on the ladies part.

All through my 40's and even sometimes these days, I get hit on by women in their late twenties on up.

Last year I got hit up for a date by a 22 year old woman who was fit and attractive objectively.

That's definitely benchmark young and hardly ever happens but it does happen.

I was wearing non descript shorts and a superhero t shirt with no indication I had money.

I was walking at the time so no expensive truck or Jeep was in sight.

I've been propositioned by more women cashiers than I can remember and most of them were in the twenty something to thirty something range. Many had wedding rings.

I rarely dress nicely unless I'm going out with my lady or to a special occasion. The rest of the time, I dress like a guy who shares an apartment with a couple of roommates.

OP asked for men to open up and we are but the tone from some posters has turned antagonistic towards the very people opening up here.

P.S. the 22 year old was also a cashier, no I'm not being propositioned by prostitutes.😉


----------



## ConanHub

thissucks7788 said:


> He does know-- he actually heard me confronting him with the texts (not on purpose, but I guess I was yelling) He is taking it fairly well. He thinks his dad has gone insane though and says he should be dating 20 year olds--not him. He actually knows who this girl is.


I was wondering about that. Very embarrassing and I hope his father can redeem himself.


----------



## TexasMom1216

@ConanHub, I don't think anyone said young 20 somethings don't pursue older men. The question is, why? It can be money, it can be daddy issues, it can be insecurity. It's not about "are you hot or not," it's about whether the "relationship" is based on anything other than sexual attraction because she is SO much younger than you, what can you have in common? I mean, like, do you even Snapchat, bro? 😉 (Is Snapchat still a thing? I know TikTok is a thing.)


----------



## Young at Heart

thissucks7788 said:


> .....I need a peek into the male mind.
> 
> ......Why on earth would a 50 year old guy be interested in a 20 year old (besides sex) who lives at home with her parents - to actually leave a really good relationship (with good sex, laughs, fun times and a wife who looks good  What goes on in the head of someone having a mlc like this? ..........


I can only speak for myself. 

Some guys like trophy wives/girlfriends because they are "eye candy trophies" to display to all their friends. That is the young woman, if visually stunning, makes other men think that this guy is extra special. It is a way to call attention to himself and use that image to impress others. Watch some episodes of creepy old Hugh Hefner in the TV show called Girls Next Door. So in some senses it is more about the illusion of power and the illusion of sex than actual sex. Sex will likely be involved, but may not be the primary focus.

Women who live with their parents, probably have less life skills and less knowledge about how to live on their own. This may make them more needy and dependent upon the skills that an older adult man has. AKA the older male can manipulate them into doing things that an older woman would probably say no to.

Some men are porn addicted (I am not anti-porn, but understand that it can be a problem). If so, the older man in question probably is into the most common porn on the internet, which deals with young (19 to 25) year old female bodies doing just about any imaginable thing. Perhaps he wants to live out some of his porn fantasies.

Why would a man cheat on a woman who loves him and provides him with good sex, love, a home and family? Wow if either of us can absolutely figure that out we could become millionaires writing relationship books. My suspicion is that the "..ass" on the other side of the street looks greener, firmer, and juicer." If he is really having a mid life crisis, there is a lot of fear going on within his perspective, and his muse is just an intoxicating diversion of his thoughts from his mortality and growing list of physical limitations. Or he may feel that earlier in his life he sacrificed his pursuit of pleasure to support his family and now he is at a point in his life where he can try to capture some of the experiences he left alone.

What ever the reasons are, just shake your head at his foolish and self-destructive behavior. Know that you are a good person and he is making a huge mistake. All of your friends will support you over his foolish behavior. Good luck. Get tested for STD's, talk to a lawyer about divorce options. if need be see a individual counselor to help you deal with your feelings of abandonment and betrayal. Try not to bad mouth him too much in front of your children. A statement like he was the man you loved and married, but now he is someone different that you cannot understand. Remember that he blessed you with children and that he will always be your children's father, no matter how much of a jerk he is.


----------



## RandomDude

TexasMom1216 said:


> No. She's bright, hard-working, ambitious and has a lot of promise, but her brain still isn't fully formed. She's certainly not a child, by any means, but I would advise her against marrying for a few more years. Especially if she's say, chasing an older guy at work. Then clearly she needs to work on herself. 😉 😁 😂 😏


Lol but what determines whether her brain is fully formed. Can't be just time as a measurement.
Like let's say she was subject to a brain scan, would we be able to really conclude "Yup, you're still not fully neurologically developed"?


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> @ConanHub, I don't think anyone said young 20 somethings don't pursue older men. The question is, why? It can be money, it can be daddy issues, it can be insecurity. It's not about "are you hot or not," it's about whether the "relationship" is based on anything other than sexual attraction because she is SO much younger than you, what can you have in common? I mean, like, do you even Snapchat, bro? 😉 (Is Snapchat still a thing? I know TikTok is a thing.)


LoL! I'm definitely not foolish enough to consider a child seriously.

If I was single, the bare minimum would be mid thirties and more than likely a lady in the 40's or 50's would have the best chance.

But that's from my side. I meet people in person only and apparently some younger women enjoy meeting me enough to want to take me for a test drive though I can't imagine the twenty somethings are thinking long term. The thirties ladies might have more realistic and long term designs.


----------



## In Absentia

Diana7 said:


> Sadly in many cultures very young women are forced to marry old men. It's sick.
> Few people choose to do that.


I agree, but I was talking about people being happy in a relationship, not being forced. Not sure what your point is here.


----------



## TexasMom1216

RandomDude said:


> Lol but what determines whether her brain is fully formed. Can't be just time as a measurement.
> Like let's say she was subject to a brain scan, would we be able to really conclude "Yup, you're still not fully neurologically developed"?


Dude we’re not gonna be ok with you and this girl. I mean, do what you’re gonna. You’re an adult. Just try not to ruin her life.🤣😂🤣😂


----------



## TexasMom1216

In Absentia said:


> I agree, but I was talking about people being happy in a relationship, not being forced. Not sure what your point is here.


Young girls are rarely given much choice. Usually as long as the man is happy no one cares about her. That’s one of the main drivers behind men wanting a woman that young, she’s easy to bully and control and convince that she doesn’t deserve to be treated with dignity.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> LoL! I'm definitely not foolish enough to consider a child seriously.
> 
> If I was single, the bare minimum would be mid thirties and more than likely a lady in the 40's or 50's would have the best chance.
> 
> But that's from my side. I meet people in person only and apparently some younger women enjoy meeting me enough to want to take me for a test drive though I can't imagine the twenty somethings are thinking long term. The thirties ladies might have more realistic and long term designs.


Yes, yes, you’re super hot. We get it. 🙄😳

😉🤪😂


----------



## RandomDude

TexasMom1216 said:


> Dude we’re not gonna be ok with you and this girl. I mean, do what you’re gonna. You’re an adult. Just try not to ruin her life.🤣😂🤣😂


 

But I am actually genuinely interested in the science!


----------



## In Absentia

Anastasia6 said:


> I think older people like to use arguments like this to assuage their guilt for wanting a 20 year old. But science says.....
> 
> View attachment 85561


I’m just saying that some relationships with a big age gap do work out. Of course it’s not ideal, but saying that older men are just exploiting younger women because they are horny pigs is a massive generalisation. I know a few couples with a big age gap and they are happy. It’s not all black and white.


----------



## ConanHub

RandomDude said:


> Just out of curiousity,
> 
> What if, let's say a 23 yr old entrepreneur with her own home and business. Would it be accurate to say she is fully developed?
> Is 25 a magic moment or a spectrum?


Is this your project partner???😵‍💫


----------



## In Absentia

DownByTheRiver said:


> The part of the brain that can predict consequences. That's why it makes me mad when I see girls getting pregnant too young because I know they don't know what they're getting into and in a few years A lot of them are going to freak out once they understand what they've done.


And many are happy they had children young so they can enjoy their life when they are more mature at 35.


----------



## RandomDude

In Absentia said:


> I’m just saying that some relationships with a big age gap do work out. Of course it’s not ideal, but saying that older men are just exploiting younger women because they are horny pigs is a massive generalisation. I know a few couples with a big age gap and they are happy. It’s not all black and white.


Yeah, we have a few cradle robbers in the room too, you know who you are!


----------



## RandomDude

ConanHub said:


> Is this your project partner???😵‍💫


Only asking for curiousity's sake of course


----------



## In Absentia

TexasMom1216 said:


> Young girls are rarely given much choice. Usually as long as the man is happy no one cares about her. That’s one of the main drivers behind men wanting a woman that young, she’s easy to bully and control and convince that she doesn’t deserve to be treated with dignity.


Not in my world.


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> Yes, yes, you’re super hot. We get it. 🙄😳
> 
> 😉🤪😂


Well that's this barbarian's point of view as asked for, your wish @thissucks7788 , is our command.😉😋


----------



## In Absentia

RandomDude said:


> Yeah, we have a few cradle robbers in the room too, you know who you are!


No idea what are talking about.

Edit: got it


----------



## ConanHub

RandomDude said:


> Yeah, we have a few cradle robbers in the room too, you know who you are!


Don't be talking about Mrs. Conan like that now youngster!!!🤣


----------



## TexasMom1216

In Absentia said:


> Not in my world.


I did not realize you had your own world separate from everyone else.


----------



## ConanHub

RandomDude said:


> Only asking for curiousity's sake of course


You're still a fairly young man though.👍


----------



## RandomDude

ConanHub said:


> Don't be talking about Mrs. Conan like that now youngster!!!🤣


Hahaha  

Never said nothing!


----------



## In Absentia

TexasMom1216 said:


> I did not realize you had your own world separate from everyone else.


I think you have…


----------



## TexasMom1216

In Absentia said:


> I think you have…


Now I know. And knowing is half the battle. GO JOE!


----------



## In Absentia

TexasMom1216 said:


> Now I know. And knowing is half the battle. GO JOE!


 I’m only saying there are exceptions. Generally, big age gaps are usually a bad idea.


----------



## RandomDude

In Absentia said:


> I’m only saying there are exceptions. Generally, big age gaps are usually a bad idea.


Right now my cut off is 23 

It was 25+ to 30+ (range, bc lets be honest it depends on attraction lol) ...

And I am only curious why I should make it 25 
Science please!


----------



## TexasMom1216

In Absentia said:


> I’m only saying there are exceptions. Generally, big age gaps are usually a bad idea.


Aaron Taylor-Johnson is married to a woman 24 years older than he is and they are happy. There will always be wild exceptions on the fringe.


----------



## TexasMom1216

RandomDude said:


> Science please!


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> View attachment 85565


I loved that absolutely stupid movie!!!


----------



## RandomDude

TexasMom1216 said:


> View attachment 85565


Weird science? Nah, that's what I call REAL SCIENCE


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> I loved that absolutely stupid movie!!!


Me too. Now it’s a little disturbing because she was WAY too old for those boys. But it was still funny. Chet was the stuff of legend, RIP.


----------



## hamadryad

ConanHub said:


> One thing that should be noted here.
> 
> OP specifically asked about men and the male perspective here. Her husband has been pretty universally condemned but some men that have posted here, in response to OP's questions, have been quite blatantly insulted and passively called liars for doing just what the OP asked and opening up and sharing.
> 
> I like threads that explore a bit and that has to include some edginess but the men sharing their experiences aren't the OP's husband and I know specifically that there are some very respectable men here that are being maligned for simply responding to the OP.
> 
> Just to put a splash of cold water on the 20 something women not going after a 50 year old man....
> 
> If I was single, I could easily get dates (nothing long term obviously from both sides) with 20 something women just on my looks and presence alone with no mention of finances.
> 
> I wouldn't because of aforementioned restrictions I can't get past but not for lack of eagerness on the ladies part.
> 
> All through my 40's and even sometimes these days, I get hit on by women in their late twenties on up.
> 
> Last year I got hit up for a date by a 22 year old woman who was fit and attractive objectively.
> 
> That's definitely benchmark young and hardly ever happens but it does happen.
> 
> I was wearing non descript shorts and a superhero t shirt with no indication I had money.
> 
> I was walking at the time so no expensive truck or Jeep was in sight.
> 
> I've been propositioned by more women cashiers than I can remember and most of them were in the twenty something to thirty something range. Many had wedding rings.
> 
> I rarely dress nicely unless I'm going out with my lady or to a special occasion. The rest of the time, I dress like a guy who shares an apartment with a couple of roommates.
> 
> OP asked for men to open up and we are but the tone from some posters has turned antagonistic towards the very people opening up here.
> 
> P.S. the 22 year old was also a cashier, no I'm not being propositioned by prostitutes.😉



It's pointless....don't waste your time..

No one cares that 40+ year old Kim K is with a 20 something year old....And no one cares that 60++ year old Madonna is with some guy that could be her grandson...And that's the way it should be...leave* adults t*o do what they want to...

But whenever a topic like this comes up, you get the same old bottle throwing women(most angry/bitter obviously misandrist middle aged women) , with their fake ass "concern" for what younger women do and who they date...The reality is that they are adults and make their own decisions...They act as if like aged couples have some awesome record for long term compatibility and duration...Some experts think that while the divorce rate is around 50% if you add the "miserable but not leaving" on top of that then its like 80%++...so it's not like we are talking about Shangri la here..

The op's situation is not really debatable and as you stated, probably some delusional fool, and nothing more..But for whatever reason, they have to chime in and crap on all men, even the ones that have situations that are far different from the OP ....As if any of that would make any difference in their own lives....Nope...

If anyone saw a guy I know(whose 65) and his wife who is early 40's(could even be late 30's I dunno) together, no one would think anything of it...He looks kind of in his 50's and she's eh...an average looking woman for that age...He's retired and doesn't have a lot of money, and I think she has a prominent job, from what I recall..They just had a baby a few years ago....Its not anything I would ever do, but why is this such a deviant situation? Makes no sense...


----------



## Rus47

ConanHub said:


> I've been propositioned by more women cashiers than I can remember and most of them were in the twenty something to thirty something range.





ConanHub said:


> P.S. the 22 year old was also a cashier, no I'm not being propositioned by prostitutes.


What is it that attracts the cashiers?


----------



## snowbum

hamadryad said:


> It's pointless....don't waste your time..
> 
> No one cares that 40+ year old Kim K is with a 20 something year old....And no one cares that 60++ year old Madonna is with some guy that could be her grandson...And that's the way it should be...leave* adults t*o do what they want to...
> 
> But whenever a topic like this comes up, you get the same old bottle throwing women(most angry/bitter obviously misandrist middle aged women) , with their fake ass "concern" for what younger women do and who they date...The reality is that they are adults and make their own decisions...They act as if like aged couples have some awesome record for long term compatibility and duration...Some experts think that while the divorce rate is around 50% if you add the "miserable but not leaving" on top of that then its like 80%++...so it's not like we are talking about Shangri la here..
> 
> The op's situation is not really debatable and as you stated, probably some delusional fool, and nothing more..But for whatever reason, they have to chime in and crap on all men, even the ones that have situations that are far different from the OP ....As if any of that would make any difference in their own lives....Nope...
> 
> If anyone saw a guy I know(whose 65) and his wife who is early 40's(could even be late 30's I dunno) together, no one would think anything of it...He looks kind of in his 50's and she's eh...an average looking woman for that age...He's retired and doesn't have a lot of money, and I think she has a prominent job, from what I recall..They just had a baby a few years ago....Its not anything I would ever do, but why is this such a deviant situation? Makes no sense...


I don't know your background, but are you currently married? Happily?

I realize people should do what works for them and worry about themselves. Situations are different for everyone. You seem to harbor anger towards middle aged women and call women man haters. If I'm wrong I'll apologize.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

In Absentia said:


> And many are happy they had children young so they can enjoy their life when they are more mature at 35.


I hope so, but I'm not seen that happen since then it's on to grandbabies.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

hamadryad said:


> These threads just devolve
> 
> 
> 
> And I clearly stated that.(bold)...it happens...people pick the wrong people..
> 
> But one person's experiences don't really qualify them to speak for anyone else...We've all seen how people get along doing things others wouldn't conceive of...


Which includes you and everyone else on this forum and not just the one you disagree with.


----------



## TexasMom1216

DownByTheRiver said:


> I hope so, but I'm not seen that happen since then it's on to grandbabies.


And trying to fill the hole in their lives left by their husband’s affairs with younger women until he’s too old and expects her to play nurse until she’s too old to date.


----------



## hamadryad

snowbum said:


> I don't know your background, but are you currently married? Happily?
> 
> I realize people should do what works for them and worry about themselves. Situations are different for everyone. You seem to harbor anger towards middle aged women and call women man haters. If I'm wrong I'll apologize.


My situation isn't important...I haven't started a single thread, nor asked for any relationship help/insight since coming here...I'm very happy...happier than I have ever been.. 

You're wrong on the second part....find a single post that would indicate I "harbor hatred toward middle aged women'....don't worry....ill wait here for a response....Oh...and here is a quote from one of my posts on another thread just today..for your review...

_"That all being said, there is no way in hell id go there....For a number of reasons, but the main reason is that a LOT of older women(esp in this day and age) look fantastic, many of them looking FAR better than their daughters ever will...They grew up in a different era,. have better bodies, carry themselves better, etc..."_

Yep....hate all middle aged women....

But sure...It's my *opinion* that there are women on here that have a general hatred towards any man that doesn't follow whatever male behavior it is that they have conceived in their minds....It oozes out of every post....Like anything else...its an opinion..

Apology accepted...


----------



## Diana7

In Absentia said:


> I’m just saying that some relationships with a big age gap do work out. Of course it’s not ideal, but saying that older men are just exploiting younger women because they are horny pigs is a massive generalisation. I know a few couples with a big age gap and they are happy. It’s not all black and white.


How many long term relationships/marriages do you know of around 30 years because that's what we are talking about here. Not 10 years. Or maybe 12.


----------



## ConanHub

Rus47 said:


> What is it that attracts the cashiers?


That's a very good question. Which might need to be answered in the Twilight Zone. 😵‍💫


----------



## thissucks7788

ConanHub said:


> Well that's this barbarian's point of view as asked for, your wish @thissucks7788 , is our command.😉😋





ConanHub said:


> Well that's this barbarian's point of view as asked for, your wish @thissucks7788 , is our command.😉😋


, your wish @thissucks7788 , is our command------- Now this is the right attitude!!!  That's what I'm talkin about  lol!!


----------



## Enigma32

hamadryad said:


> It's pointless....don't waste your time..
> 
> No one cares that 40+ year old Kim K is with a 20 something year old....And no one cares that 60++ year old Madonna is with some guy that could be her grandson...And that's the way it should be...leave* adults t*o do what they want to...
> 
> But whenever a topic like this comes up, you get the same old bottle throwing women(most angry/bitter obviously misandrist middle aged women) , with their fake ass "concern" for what younger women do and who they date...The reality is that they are adults and make their own decisions...


Well said, friend. I won't venture into the why of it but this is definitely a thing.


----------



## Diana7

hamadryad said:


> It's pointless....don't waste your time..
> 
> No one cares that 40+ year old Kim K is with a 20 something year old....And no one cares that 60++ year old Madonna is with some guy that could be her grandson...And that's the way it should be...leave* adults t*o do what they want to...
> 
> But whenever a topic like this comes up, you get the same old bottle throwing women(most angry/bitter obviously misandrist middle aged women) , with their fake ass "concern" for what younger women do and who they date...The reality is that they are adults and make their own decisions...They act as if like aged couples have some awesome record for long term compatibility and duration...Some experts think that while the divorce rate is around 50% if you add the "miserable but not leaving" on top of that then its like 80%++...so it's not like we are talking about Shangri la here..
> 
> The op's situation is not really debatable and as you stated, probably some delusional fool, and nothing more..But for whatever reason, they have to chime in and crap on all men, even the ones that have situations that are far different from the OP ....As if any of that would make any difference in their own lives....Nope...
> 
> If anyone saw a guy I know(whose 65) and his wife who is early 40's(could even be late 30's I dunno) together, no one would think anything of it...He looks kind of in his 50's and she's eh...an average looking woman for that age...He's retired and doesn't have a lot of money, and I think she has a prominent job, from what I recall..They just had a baby a few years ago....Its not anything I would ever do, but why is this such a deviant situation? Makes no sense...


Oh dear, someone is upset. 😲🥴


----------



## Diana7

hamadryad said:


> My situation isn't important...I haven't started a single thread, nor asked for any relationship help/insight since coming here...I'm very happy...happier than I have ever been..
> 
> You're wrong on the second part....find a single post that would indicate I "harbor hatred toward middle aged women'....don't worry....ill wait here for a response....Oh...and here is a quote from one of my posts on another thread just today..for your review...
> 
> _"That all being said, there is no way in hell id go there....For a number of reasons, but the main reason is that a LOT of older women(esp in this day and age) look fantastic, many of them looking FAR better than their daughters ever will...They grew up in a different era,. have better bodies, carry themselves better, etc..."_
> 
> Yep....hate all middle aged women....
> 
> But sure...It's my *opinion* that there are women on here that have a general hatred towards any man that doesn't follow whatever male behavior it is that they have conceived in their minds....It oozes out of every post....Like anything else...its an opinion..
> 
> Apology accepted...


You last post is what is being referred to. Apparently we are all angry bitter misandrist middle aged women according to you, especially if we disagree with you. I don't see any angry or bitter or misandrist women here.
Maybe a bit less name calling would be helpful.


----------



## In Absentia

DownByTheRiver said:


> I hope so, but I'm not seen that happen since then it's on to grandbabies.


I have... so, who's right? Who's wrong?  People say one thing and other say the complete opposite. I do like debating, but it gets futile after a while. I'm not talking about you per se, but threads like these are a clear example. In everything we can find exceptions, but exceptions confirm the rule, and so on on on... everything is possible, so we are expressing opinions, but some posters seem to believe they are the holders of the absolute truth.


----------



## In Absentia

Diana7 said:


> How many long term relationships/marriages do you know of around 30 years because that's what we are talking about here. Not 10 years. Or maybe 12.


2. They do exist. Is it right or wrong? I don't really care, as long as they are happy. The OP's husband is a fool, because he is infatuated... there isn't even a relationship there. Breaking a marriage for a stupid dream is foolish.


----------



## Rus47

thissucks7788 said:


> Also, what goes on in the male mind when 20 year old doesn't reciprocate and you left your wife for the hope of this happening. I mean this makes no difference to the situation whatsoever but enquiring minds want to know. Please give me the inside scoop just for fun--- Thanks!


Of course there has been no response by a man like your husband on the other side of blowing up a marriage for a fantasy. No one would ever admit to regrets, and your husband will likely never acknowledge even to himself how badly he screwed up his life. Even after your attorney is done picking his bones clean and he is living alone in a cheap apartment alienated from his offspring, he will still be chasing fantasy and telling himself he still has it.

We always hope to see those who have wronged us receive their "just rewards", we'd like to hear how bad a betrayer's life has become, but life doesn't usually work that way. There are plenty of examples on this forum of men and women whose spouse betrayed them and have continued to rub their face in it, sometimes for decades.

Your strategy of going no contact with your stbxh is the best for your own sanity, The more you can grey rock him the better.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

hamadryad said:


> It's pointless....don't waste your time..
> 
> No one cares that 40+ year old Kim K is with a 20 something year old....And no one cares that 60++ year old Madonna is with some guy that could be her grandson...And that's the way it should be...leave* adults t*o do what they want to...
> 
> But whenever a topic like this comes up, you get the same old bottle throwing women(most angry/bitter obviously misandrist middle aged women) , with their fake ass "concern" for what younger women do and who they date...The reality is that they are adults and make their own decisions...They act as if like aged couples have some awesome record for long term compatibility and duration...Some experts think that while the divorce rate is around 50% if you add the "miserable but not leaving" on top of that then its like 80%++...so it's not like we are talking about Shangri la here..
> 
> The op's situation is not really debatable and as you stated, probably some delusional fool, and nothing more..But for whatever reason, they have to chime in and crap on all men, even the ones that have situations that are far different from the OP ....As if any of that would make any difference in their own lives....Nope...
> 
> If anyone saw a guy I know(whose 65) and his wife who is early 40's(could even be late 30's I dunno) together, no one would think anything of it...He looks kind of in his 50's and she's eh...an average looking woman for that age...He's retired and doesn't have a lot of money, and I think she has a prominent job, from what I recall..They just had a baby a few years ago....Its not anything I would ever do, but why is this such a deviant situation? Makes no sense...


It's a deviant situation because the issues with it are real and not fake and the people concerned with it are smart and not just bitter just because they don't agree with you, and their concern for the young women is genuine and based on reality. You certainly have gotten your hair up on this subject and it makes me wonder about you.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

hamadryad said:


> My situation isn't important...I haven't started a single thread, nor asked for any relationship help/insight since coming here...I'm very happy...happier than I have ever been..
> 
> You're wrong on the second part....find a single post that would indicate I "harbor hatred toward middle aged women'....don't worry....ill wait here for a response....Oh...and here is a quote from one of my posts on another thread just today..for your review...
> 
> _"That all being said, there is no way in hell id go there....For a number of reasons, but the main reason is that a LOT of older women(esp in this day and age) look fantastic, many of them looking FAR better than their daughters ever will...They grew up in a different era,. have better bodies, carry themselves better, etc..."_
> 
> Yep....hate all middle aged women....
> 
> But sure...It's my *opinion* that there are women on here that have a general hatred towards any man that doesn't follow whatever male behavior it is that they have conceived in their minds....It oozes out of every post....Like anything else...its an opinion..
> 
> Apology accepted...


Oh please, on the second paragraph. You haven't even minced words about it. The only thing you seem to like about women is if they look good. You certainly don't want them having opinions or anything untoward such as that. And if they disagree with you they're from a different planet.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Rus47 said:


> What is it that attracts the cashiers?


Well for starters anyone in retail is paid to be super nice to customers.


----------



## ConanHub

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well for starters anyone in retail is paid to be super nice to customers.


They're really prostitutes in disguise.😉


----------



## ConanHub

Rus47 said:


> What is it that attracts the cashiers?


It's probably proximity and time. Being face to face and talking gives opportunity.

Way back when I was a cashier, I got hit on by a lot of customers.


----------



## Rus47

ConanHub said:


> Way back when I was a cashier, I got hit on by a lot of customers.


I was cashier during my early 20s and was never hit on by any customers. So that excuse won't fly  You get hit on by cashiers when you are a customer and by customers when you were the cashier. So you just get hit on period.


----------



## hamadryad

DownByTheRiver said:


> Oh please, on the second paragraph. You haven't even minced words about it. The only thing you seem to like about women is if they look good. You certainly don't want them having opinions or anything untoward such as that. And if they disagree with you they're from a different planet.



Ok...find a single post where I exhibit "hatred for middle aged women" ...she couldn't find it and neither will you, so spare me your bullshyt..

Yes, Diana is a nice person, but I am sure, judging by her posts, many people would not find much, if any, common ground.. Like I said earlier, its not a knock, it is what it is...

Just like many other posters, you know absolutely nothing about me, you just choose to cherry pick the things that seem to bother YOU...People like what they like, you never heard me criticize you for not liking any men outside of long haired rockers, who gives a flyin **** about it, that's your right..

FYI, Some of my most trusted and reliable people in my life happen to be women...In business and in life...Shocking, right??.lol..

I don't know why you have a hard on for me...That's on you, and if it bothers you so much, simply put me on ignore, I guess..(shrug)


----------



## ccpowerslave

Britney Spears (40) her husband is 28. Just showed up in the news yesterday because apparently she’s pregnant again! Congrats to Britney!

BTW ladies, she may be slightly unstable but Mrs. Spears gained I think what she said is almost 100 lbs at one point, shaved off all her hair, etc… and managed to come back from all that and look super spicy again (with a team of 24/7 handlers and trainers and a super physical job). So you see anyone can do it! 🥸


----------



## hamadryad

DownByTheRiver said:


> It's a deviant situation because the issues with it are real and not fake and the people concerned with it are smart and not just bitter just because they don't agree with you, and their concern for the young women is genuine and based on reality. You certainly have gotten your hair up on this subject and it makes me wonder about you.


Again.,,,find a single post where I stated that I have a penchant for younger women...I have on numerous occasions said its not my thing...what would I be advocating for then??

The only issue I pointed out is that it is MY OPINION,(and the opinion of many other men posting) that many middle age or older women do not like this dynamic of older men and younger women, because for some reason, they think it's unfair..They don't like the fact that men are "getting over'...Or that maybe it burns them up that some older women tend to get devalued or discarded, while some older men seemingly don't...It has, again in my opinion, nothing to do with "concern"...

It could never be just a normal pairing of two people, similar to like aged.......There has to be the same old bottle throwing and cries of.."in it for the money"...."daddy issues"...."mail order bride"....The crazy part is these same women will cheer on another woman that finds a younger man...Its all high fives and "you go girl" crap...

If you disagree, that's fine, but this is the feeling I get...based on life and what I have noticed...nothing more and nothing less..


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> It's probably proximity and time. Being face to face and talking gives opportunity.
> 
> Way back when I was a cashier, I got hit on by a lot of customers.


Quick T/J, have you seen Employee of the Month? That's what I think of when you say you were hit on as a cashier. 😂


----------



## ConanHub

Rus47 said:


> I was cashier during my early 20s and was never hit on by any customers. So that excuse won't fly  You get hit on by cashiers when you are a customer and by customers when you were the cashier. So you just get hit on period.


Well I do but interactions provide an opportunity.

I have been approached out of the blue but most women aren't as bold as lightning unless they have more experience and/or are drunk.🙂

Most women (at least those I've encountered) do not just walk up and proposition. They do take advantage of social interactions though.

I stay pretty aloof and try to avoid people most of the time but you can't avoid cashier's or waitresses or friendly associates at company BBQ's and Christmas parties.


----------



## Sfort

ConanHub said:


> I stay pretty aloof and try to avoid people most of the time but you can't avoid cashier's or waitresses or friendly associates at company BBQ's and Christmas parties.


Wow. You are SUCH a chick magnet. Please tell us how you cope with the stress of breaking all of those hearts when they find out you're married!


----------



## Rob_1

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well for starters anyone in retail is paid to be super nice to customers.


I'm 69, I was just served by this gorgeous 20 years old cashier that smiled and talked to me. I think she even sighted because of me.

I'm thinking of dumping my wife for this cashier. I have a little money that I could use to keep her in style.
I'm so sure she would go for it.

My only hesitation is how all this angry, jaded middle age females would take it. Would I see a column of pitchfork carrying, mouth foaming angry mob of women coming my way?  Or is it safe to proceed?


----------



## ConanHub

Sfort said:


> Wow. You are SUCH a chick magnet. Please tell us how you cope with the stress of breaking all of those hearts when they find out you're married!


Smooches. Save the snark. I've been very happily secured to my lady for 30 years and take pride in her and the life we've built together.

I'm far more envious of those that build wealth as I'm really no good at it but I don't get pissy about their lives.

I'm just sharing data and experiences like anyone here.


----------



## Sfort

Rob_1 said:


> My only hesitation is how all this angry, jaded middle age females would take it. Would I see a column of pitchfork carrying, mouth foaming angry mob of women coming my way?  Or is it safe to proceed?


Damn the torpedoes. Full steam ahead. You only live once.


----------



## *Deidre*

I think it’s safe to say that in theory, the idea of older men wanting to be with younger women is not shocking but if it were to happen say in your own family - if your dad were to leave your mother for a much younger woman, it would be upsetting. I think because the OP is experiencing this on a personal level, it’s different than just discussing this topic “in theory.” In theory, anything can seem reasonable unless it’s happening to you or to someone you love.


----------



## ConanHub

*Deidre* said:


> I think it’s safe to say that in theory, the idea of older men wanting to be with younger women is not shocking but if it were to happen say in your own family - if your dad were to leave your mother for a much younger woman, it would be upsetting. I think because the OP is experiencing this, it’s different than just discussing this topic “in theory.” In theory, anything can seem reasonable unless it’s happening to you or to someone you love.


I agree and I haven't seen men here backing up what the old fool did.

I personally wouldn't get involved with a much younger woman even if single but the discussion did involve wether an older man can even attract a younger woman and, in some cases and cultures, they certainly do.

I didn't see anyone thinking it was reasonable for any man to break up his marriage and family for a younger model. I missed it if anyone was promoting that.

I wouldn't even be in a relationship with a man who did that.

One of my very closest friends abandoned his wife and 5 children for a single, younger woman.

This was decades ago but when I found out, he was history and I also did my best to destroy his professional and personal life resulting in him leaving town and maybe even the state.

I don't think anyone is promoting the behavior of OP's ex.


----------



## Rob_1

*Deidre* said:


> In theory, anything can seem reasonable unless it’s happening to you or to someone you love.


In all seriousness, that's quite true for a lot of people. Is one think to look from afar, another is when it hits you.

Having say that, there's always a percentage of people that are OK with it.
To me, the only concern in this type of unions is "progeny ". Not until recently the common knowledge was that older women bearing children was not a good thing due to higher chances of passing on defective genetic material; nowadays, with the advancement of scientific knowledge in males sex gametes we know now that the older the male the more chances of passing defective genetic material also. It's not only women. People over 40 should pay attention to this fact.
Not too long in time humans were in average not living pass 40 to 50. Nowadays, the average is way into the late 70s. But at the same time not enough time have passed from an evolutionary point of view for us to adapt and start showing recessive genes much later in life. As it is we are still showing recessive genes when we start to get into our late 30is early 40s.

Young people have not lived long enough for recessive traits to start showing on. This from a biological point of view makes sense. And it shows, the main drive to procreate is in our youth, not when you're a 50 years old person.


----------



## *Deidre*

ConanHub said:


> I agree and I haven't seen men here backing up what the old fool did.
> 
> I personally wouldn't get involved with a much younger woman even if single but the discussion did involve wether an older man can even attract a younger woman and, in some cases and cultures, they certainly do.
> 
> I didn't see anyone thinking it was reasonable for any man to break up his marriage and family for a younger model. I missed it if anyone was promoting that.
> 
> I wouldn't even be in a relationship with a man who did that.
> 
> One of my very closest friends abandoned his wife and 5 children for a single, younger woman.
> 
> This was decades ago but when I found out, he was history and I also did my best to destroy his professional and personal life resulting in him leaving town and maybe even the state.
> 
> I don't think anyone is promoting the behavior of OP's ex.


No, I know...I’m just saying that the topic sort of derailed into a generalized theory of why older men may choose younger women to date. And all the sparring that happened after lol 

I think it’s also safe to assume that we all at times may “notice” others even as married people and may find others attractive. There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t get married and suddenly, blinders are on and you notice no one else but your spouse. But to leave a good marriage over it, you’ll always be leaving every marriage thereafter if you’re just going to follow every whimsical desire. I’m happy being married but I’m not under the impression that I should be all things to my husband or he to me. And it’s not practical to expect that from a spouse, imo.


----------



## In Absentia

*Deidre* said:


> I think it’s safe to say that in theory, the idea of older men wanting to be with younger women is not shocking but if it were to happen say in your own family - if your dad were to leave your mother for a much younger woman, it would be upsetting. I think because the OP is experiencing this on a personal level, it’s different than just discussing this topic “in theory.” In theory, anything can seem reasonable unless it’s happening to you or to someone you love.


If the marriage was unhappy and the husband found new happiness with a younger woman, fine by me. If the husband left a happy marriage for a younger woman, that's a completely different kettle of fish. If the husband left a happy marriage to pursue a fantasy, that's even worse.


----------



## *Deidre*

In Absentia said:


> If the marriage was unhappy and the husband found new happiness with a younger woman, fine by me. If the husband left a happy marriage for a younger woman, that's a completely different kettle of fish. If the husband left a happy marriage to pursue a fantasy, that's even worse.


I don’t think people should cheat their way out of unhappy marriages (leave first as opposed to the “cake eating” OP’s husband is doing) but I understand the point you’re making.

Yea, there’s so many nuances to this topic, I just hope that OP does what’s best for her at this point.


----------



## *Deidre*

Rob_1 said:


> In all seriousness, that's quite true for a lot of people. Is one think to look from afar, another is when it hits you.
> 
> Having say that, there's always a percentage of people that are OK with it.
> To me, the only concern in this type of unions is "progeny ". Not until recently the common knowledge was that older women bearing children was not a good thing due to higher chances of passing on defective genetic material; nowadays, with the advancement of scientific knowledge in males sex gametes we know now that the older the male the more chances of passing defective genetic material also. It's not only women. People over 40 should pay attention to this fact.
> Not too long in time humans were in average not living pass 40 to 50. Nowadays, the average is way into the late 70s. But at the same time not enough time have passed from an evolutionary point of view for us to adapt and start showing recessive genes much later in life. As it is we are still showing recessive genes when we start to get into our late 30is early 40s.
> 
> Young people have not lived long enough for recessive traits to start showing on. This from a biological point of view makes sense. And it shows, the main drive to procreate is in our youth, not when you're a 50 years old person.


I think though as we socially evolve as a culture, a woman’s worth isn’t limited by what men think of her worth. At any age, we are told by society in the West that we shouldn’t let men objectify us but in my marriage, I don’t mind that at all. lol Women of all ages often receive a lot of mixed messages within the culture today.

This topic is interesting because it implies that the OP’s husband no longer sees his wife as having as much “worth” as this 20 yo girl. And that is the real tragedy in terms of the OP’s husband’s character.


----------



## In Absentia

*Deidre* said:


> I don’t think people should cheat their way out of unhappy marriages (leave first as opposed to the “cake eating” OP’s husband is doing) but I understand the point you’re making.
> 
> Yea, there’s so many nuances to this topic, I just hope that OP does what’s best for her at this point.


I don't advocate cheating, but this stuff happens all the time. Lots of people stay in unhappy marriages and then they end up meeting another person, get infatuated/have an EA and then they leave, usually for a younger model. I have been in an unhappy marriage for many years, but it never crossed my mind to cheat or do anything of the sort. I suppose it comes down to moral fibre. That said, it looks to me that the OP is doing the right thing.


----------



## *Deidre*

In Absentia said:


> I don't advocate cheating, but this stuff happens all the time. Lots of people stay in unhappy marriages and then they end up meeting another person, get infatuated/have an EA and then they leave, usually for a younger model. I have been in an unhappy marriage for many years, but it never crossed my mind to cheat or do anything of the sort. I suppose it comes down to moral fibre. That said, it looks to me that the OP is doing the right thing.


That’s likely very true. (Sorry to hear about your own situation.)


----------



## In Absentia

*Deidre* said:


> This topic is interesting because it implies that the OP’s husband no longer sees his wife as having as much “worth” as this 20 yo girl. And that is the real tragedy in terms of the OP’s husband’s character.


I don't see like it that. I think for the husband the young girl has a different kind of "worth", which he finds more attractive... not sure it's higher than his wife's.


----------



## In Absentia

*Deidre* said:


> (Sorry to hear about your own situation.)


Lots of water under the bridge since... we are not together any more. And no, I haven't found a younger model... we just separated...


----------



## *Deidre*

In Absentia said:


> I don't see like it that. I think for the husband the young girl has a different kind of "worth", which he finds more attractive... not sure it's higher than his wife's.


Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that. That’s an interesting perspective.


----------



## Rob_1

*Deidre* said:


> At any age, we are told by society in the West that we shouldn’t let men objectify us


Is funny that you say the above, when in reality as a 69 years old and a student of history I have never, ever in my life experience such degree of female objectification.
Our whole society, from the moment we wake up to the moment we close our eyes at night, the objectification of women is a constant bombardment through all types of visual media. And sadly the women are the ones leading the brigade.
Is just sickening to me to see all these females on social media queuing for the most attention with their lips protruding, their bodies encase in the tightest little pieces of spandex with their phone in their hand videoing themselves, admiring their shape, and for all the world to see. But them again, it's the men that are objectifying females in Western societies and we need to warn against them.


----------



## *Deidre*

Rob_1 said:


> Is funny that you say the above, when in reality as a 69 years old and a student of history I have never, ever in my life experience such degree of female objectification.
> Our whole society, from the moment we wake up to the moment we close our eyes at night, the objectification of women is a constant bombardment through all types of visual media. And sadly the women are the ones leading the brigade.
> Is just sickening to me to see all these females on social media queuing for the most attention with their lips protruding, their bodies encase in the tightest little pieces of spandex with their phone in their hand videoing themselves, admiring their shape, and for all the world to see. But them again, it's the men that are objectifying females in Western societies and we need to warn against them.


Yea, I think people who are addicted to social media attention, the reasons may vary but on that note, I’ll come back to that Pandora’s box another time.


----------



## In Absentia

*Deidre* said:


> Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that. That’s an interesting perspective.


That's why the husband still wants to be friends.


----------



## thissucks7788

In Absentia said:


> That's why the husband still wants to be friends.


Interesting perspective indeed (the different kind of worth thing). Maybe I am fooling myself, but I still think he believes that I have worth. (or maybe I am just Plan B) or both. He can't keep away and stop texting me...it's like he still wants the emotional closeness and it bothers him that he can't get it. He texted me that I am such a wonderful person yesterday (eye roll) He absolutely though wants this "fantasy" with this young 20 y.o, girl. She literally hasn't been talking to him for 2 weeks. The old fool made up a story that it is because she feels bad that she was the catalyst for our breakup and she is very sensitive (LOLOLOL). Seriously dude, she is not into you!! He is delusional--however it is not my role to keep telling him/reminding him.


----------



## bobsmith

*Deidre* said:


> I don’t think people should cheat their way out of unhappy marriages (leave first as opposed to the “cake eating” OP’s husband is doing) but I understand the point you’re making.
> 
> Yea, there’s so many nuances to this topic, I just hope that OP does what’s best for her at this point.


I like reading Deidre's responses. Seems well aligned. 

And I think she pointed out the main reason I stay away from relationships. It seems almost the 'norm' where both men and women seek out their new partner while still being married. Monkey branching. Seems many people cannot be single. Watched it happen many times, and it is pasted all over this site as well. In this case it seems the wife was happy, and the husband seemed to be faking it, while building some fantasy world in his head. He probably likes the comfort of marriage, but seems he has been 'shopping' for an opportunity. 

I am confident it will all come crashing down on him, but some people never learn. The comfort the wife can seek here is she can be rid of this man now, knowing what is really hiding in this man's head. Even if he was running towards another 50yo, it would not change much. He is seeking another relationship WHILE being married. 

In this case, I hope the OP can move on with grace, knowing this man is pathetic and others in her circle will clearly see that.


----------



## *Deidre*

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting perspective indeed (the different kind of worth thing). Maybe I am fooling myself, but I still think he believes that I have worth. (or maybe I am just Plan B) or both. He can't keep away and stop texting me...it's like he still wants the emotional closeness and it bothers him that he can't get it. He texted me that I am such a wonderful person yesterday (eye roll) He absolutely though wants this "fantasy" with this young 20 y.o, girl. She literally hasn't been talking to him for 2 weeks. The old fool made up a story that it is because she feels bad that she was the catalyst for our breakup and she is very sensitive (LOLOLOL). Seriously dude, she is not into you!! He is delusional--however it is not my role to keep telling him/reminding him.


Yea, I think he just wants to explore being single while being married.

I’m still gobsmacked that he left you for a girl who doesn’t seem interested in him.


----------



## Rus47

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting perspective indeed (the different kind of worth thing). Maybe I am fooling myself, but I still think he believes that I have worth. (or maybe I am just Plan B) or both. He can't keep away and stop texting me...it's like he still wants the emotional closeness and it bothers him that he can't get it. He texted me that I am such a wonderful person yesterday (eye roll) He absolutely though wants this "fantasy" with this young 20 y.o, girl. She literally hasn't been talking to him for 2 weeks. The old fool made up a story that it is because she feels bad that she was the catalyst for our breakup and she is very sensitive (LOLOLOL). Seriously dude, she is not into you!! He is delusional--however it is not my role to keep telling him/reminding him.


Honestly, the more you can ignore his texts, the less pain you will have. Would forcing him to communicate with your attorney only help? Could your attorney send him certified mail dictating how communication shall proceed from now on? Eventually it will be attorney to attorney formal snyway

I mean what could he text you that is worthwhile reading? And since he will end up paying for your attorney anyway? 

The less you tell him about anything the quicker you can distance from him. If you have friends and family in your corner focus on them. Get yourself busy with building your new life that he can pay for.


----------



## thissucks7788

*Deidre* said:


> I think it’s safe to say that in theory, the idea of older men wanting to be with younger women is not shocking but if it were to happen say in your own family - if your dad were to leave your mother for a much younger woman, it would be upsetting. I think because the OP is experiencing this on a personal level, it’s different than just discussing this topic “in theory.” In theory, anything can seem reasonable unless it’s happening to you or to someone you love.


This. In theory, I get it. When your husband does it -- it is whole new level of unbelievable.


----------



## TexasMom1216

thissucks7788 said:


> Interesting perspective indeed (the different kind of worth thing). Maybe I am fooling myself, but I still think he believes that I have worth. (or maybe I am just Plan B) or both. He can't keep away and stop texting me...it's like he still wants the emotional closeness and it bothers him that he can't get it. He texted me that I am such a wonderful person yesterday (eye roll) He absolutely though wants this "fantasy" with this young 20 y.o, girl. She literally hasn't been talking to him for 2 weeks. The old fool made up a story that it is because she feels bad that she was the catalyst for our breakup and she is very sensitive (LOLOLOL). Seriously dude, she is not into you!! He is delusional--however it is not my role to keep telling him/reminding him.


I honestly think he cannot fathom that you won’t just stick around and let him continue to use you. More of that attitude that wives should cling desperately to whatever crumbs their husbands deigns to throw their way. Good for you for standing strong.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

thissucks7788 said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> Woman here--- (I hope it is okay to post on this forum-- I admit I didn't read the rules)
> 
> No need to get into my 10 hour sob story-but just for sh&ts and giggles, I need a peek into the male mind. This is one of the main things I can't wrap my head around as a woman so... Why on earth would a 50 year old guy be interested in a 20 year old (besides sex) who lives at home with her parents - to actually leave a really good relationship (with good sex, laughs, fun times and a wife who looks good  What goes on in the head of someone having a mlc like this? I mean, I've read of this stereotypical mlc behavior but I can't imagine trying to date someone who is 5 years older than my son. Do guys think this makes them look young/feel young? What gives?
> 
> Also, what goes on in the male mind when 20 year old doesn't reciprocate and you left your wife for the hope of this happening. I mean this makes no difference to the situation whatsoever but enquiring minds want to know. Please give me the inside scoop just for fun--- Thanks!


I think it's now pretty clear from this thread that some men like young girls because they have fewer opinions. They like that incomplete brain.


----------



## thissucks7788

Rus47 said:


> Honestly, the more you can ignore his texts, the less pain you will have. Would forcing him to communicate with your attorney only help?
> I mean what could ge text you that is worth


Yes, I would love no contact completely-much better for healing. Seems I need to do limited contact though due to son and business. He literally has texted me things I might enjoy reading about (topics he knows I like) I ignore them. Such a cake eater wannabe.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

thissucks7788 said:


> Yes, I would love no contact completely-much better for healing. Seems I need to do limited contact though due to son and business. He literally has texted me things I might enjoy reading about (topics he knows I like) I ignore them. Such a cake eater wannabe.


You can get a legal order to only communicate through a site for parents who share custody that only allows communication when absolutely necessary about the logistics of taking care of the child.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Definitely tell him you don't want to hear about anything that isn't necessary and that the only thing necessary is the logistics with the kids. Stop letting him send you diaries.


----------



## Rus47

thissucks7788 said:


> Yes, I would love no contact completely-much better for healing. Seems I need to do limited contact though due to son and business. He literally has texted me things I might enjoy reading about (topics he knows I like) I ignore them. Such a cake eater wannabe.


Ask your attorney. I bet they filter contact all of the time. I mean just because you can text him direct with a question about business doesnt mean you cant require him to respond via your attorney.

Just saw DBTR suggestion. Didnt know there were sites that provide that service. Cheaper than an attorney, though who cares cuz he going pay the freight anyway. 

Maybe he thinks he is Chuck Norris.


----------



## Openminded

Some people are just stupid. I’m sure he thinks you’ll be waiting for him when he gets through making a fool of himself.


----------



## *Deidre*

And that ^ brings up an interesting point to how you may feel about your husband as time goes on. You may start to see him in a whole new light, one where he looks pathetic/classless and you would never be attracted to him if you were to meet him now, for the first time. Like sometimes people change, and you fell in love with an entirely different man than you’re seeing unravel before you, now. And it won’t be as much of a challenge to avoid him as it is now because it’s still so fresh.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Rus47 said:


> Ask your attorney. I bet they filter contact all of the time. I mean just because you can text him direct with a question about business doesnt mean you cant require him to respond via your attorney.
> 
> Just saw DBTR suggestion. Didnt know there were sites that provide that service. Cheaper than an attorney, though who cares cuz he going pay the freight anyway.
> 
> Maybe he thinks he is Chuck Norris.


To find those sites you just Google email for parents sharing custody. But to get him to do it you'll have to have either a signed agreement or more likely a judge order. Then there's a record of the exchange and you can report anything that shouldn't be there and it's a record they can use legally. I would imagine that it's mostly used in places where there's threats or harassment. 

The best thing about it is it limits all contact to email. So for example if you moved on and have another love interest in your ex likes to interrupt you at all times and demand your attention that can really ruin your new relationship. If it's confined to email and limited in scope, that helps with that sort of thing. The exception is if your child would be in an accident and have to go to the emergency ward, they could contact you by any method. 

First I would just try telling him you don't want to hear any of it and that he is only the contact you if it's important about the child and the logistics around the child.


----------



## TXTrini

Openminded said:


> Some people are just stupid. I’m sure he thinks you’ll be waiting for him when he gets through making a fool of himself.


I've been through this, and yes, my exH did think I'd be there waiting indefinitely while he explored his options. He kept telling me how beautiful and what a good person I was every time he saw me and tried to be "friends". I don't know if it is pure manipulation tactics or they just don't want to feel like the bad guy despite their morally inferior decisions.

Who cares? The silver lining is he's showing his true character now before you find yourself in a bind and need to depend on him for anything. It'll be his ass to catch when he's sick and needs a nursemaid or wants sympathy while his youngun is off having fun. 

I got to see mine pack back on all the weight and then some and look like complete **** with all the drinking and crying on mediation day (about 3 months after DD). It totally cheered me up 😂 (I arrived early and requested the mediator ask him to leave before me after our mediation while I shamelessly peeked out the window 😂).


----------



## ConanHub

*Deidre* said:


> Yea, I think he just wants to explore being single while being married.
> 
> I’m still gobsmacked that he left you for a girl who doesn’t seem interested in him.


I might be morbid but I think it's hilarious.😋


----------



## thissucks7788

*Deidre* said:


> And that ^ brings up an interesting point to how you may feel about your husband as time goes on. You may start to see him in a whole new light, one where he looks pathetic/classless and you would never be attracted to him if you were to meet him now, for the first time. Like sometimes people change, and you fell in love with an entirely different man than you’re seeing unravel before you, now. And it won’t be as much of a challenge to avoid him as it is now because it’s still so fresh.


This is my hope. That I can be around him or hear from him and literally have almost no feelings left. Hoping time is going to do this for me.


----------



## thissucks7788

ConanHub said:


> I might be morbid but I think it's hilarious.😋


I mean… It’s so ridiculous and stupid that it is almost funny. I told him that at the very least he should be getting a good piece of a$$ out of this that’s a sure thing. He told me it wasn’t about that Remember, cosmic connection -Lol!


----------



## thissucks7788

TXTrini said:


> I've been through this, and yes, my exH did think I'd be there waiting indefinitely while he explored his options. He kept telling me how beautiful and what a good person I was every time he saw me and tried to be "friends". I don't know if it is pure manipulation tactics or they just don't want to feel like the bad guy despite their morally inferior decisions.
> 
> Who cares? The silver lining is he's showing his true character now before you find yourself in a bind and need to depend on him for anything. It'll be his ass to catch when he's sick and needs a nursemaid or wants sympathy while his youngun is off having fun.
> 
> I got to see mine pack back on all the weight and then some and look like complete **** with all the drinking and crying on mediation day (about 3 months after DD). It totally cheered me up 😂 (I arrived early and requested the mediator ask him to leave before me after our mediation while I shamelessly peeked out the window 😂).


Good one!! It seems my H is following The same playbook as yours was As described in the first paragraph.


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> I honestly think he cannot fathom that you won’t just stick around and let him continue to use you. More of that attitude that wives should cling desperately to whatever crumbs their husbands deigns to throw their way. Good for you for standing strong.


Mrs. Conan's ex tried moving his mistress in with them which is a big reason she traded the old fart in to become the one and only Mrs. Conan.😉

He had similar delusions and kept trying to get her back though he did ditch his bimbo.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

thissucks7788 said:


> Yes, I would love no contact completely-much better for healing. Seems I need to do limited contact though due to son and business. He literally has texted me things I might enjoy reading about (topics he knows I like) I ignore them. Such a cake eater wannabe.


When he sends you stuff he knows you'll like trying to get at you, write right back and say stop sending me this crap, we're not dating.


----------



## TXTrini

thissucks7788 said:


> Good one!! It seems my H is following The same playbook as yours was As described in the first paragraph.


Not quite. He was actually banging his teenie bopper, so at least he did get some ass out of it before our marriage blew up. The funniest thing was during discovery, I saw receipts for a $20 motel 😂 

You'll be ok once you grieve the relationship he's not the man you thought he was and certainly not worth your time. Btw, don't let the back and forth about most men wanting hot young things get to you. I was prepared to be invisible to men my age when I started dating again, but was utterly shocked at the sheer number of men who were interested.


----------



## Sfort

Rus47 said:


> Could your attorney send him certified mail dictating how communication shall proceed from now on?


He can talk to anyone he chooses. The prohibition you're talking about is attorney-to-opposing party IF the opposing party is represented by an attorney. The restrictions are on the attorneys, not on the parties, at least in my state.


----------



## thissucks7788

TXTrini said:


> Not quite. He was actually banging his teenie bopper, so at least he did get some ass out of it before our marriage blew up. The funniest thing was during discovery, I saw receipts for a $20 motel 😂
> 
> You'll be ok once you grieve the relationship he's not the man you thought he was and certainly not worth your time. Btw, don't let the back and forth about most men wanting hot young things get to you. I was prepared to be invisible to men my age when I started dating again, but was utterly shocked at the sheer number of men who were interested.


Lol- a $20 motel… Seems they were keeping it classy! 
Thank you for saying that about the dating pool… I would eventually like to find love again, so I’m hoping they’ll be a good guy out there for me. I feel like I have a lot to offer, but I am not in my 20s.


----------



## drencrom

thissucks7788 said:


> Why on earth would a 50 year old guy be interested in a 20 year old (besides sex)


Because until we learn better, we are f***** stupid. I never dated anyone that much younger than me, but 8 years was even too much for me.

50 year old guy can look reasonably well and attractive to a 20 year old. But give the guy 10 years, and he aint looking as hot anymore and she is still young.

He reaches 70, she is only 40. She is now with her grandpa and will look for greener pastures.

They say age is just a number. Bollocks.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. Conan's ex tried moving his mistress in with them which is a big reason she traded the old fart in to become the one and only Mrs. Conan.😉
> 
> He had similar delusions and kept trying to get her back though he did ditch his bimbo.


It is astounding, really. My uncle moved my aunt out of his house, moved another woman in, married the new woman and 10 days later showed at my aunts new place for sex. 

She gave it to him, though, so he wasn’t as delusional as this guy. I’m so proud of the OP, it has to be so hard to face this kind of thing and she’s doing it with grace and humor.


----------



## ccpowerslave

TXTrini said:


> I saw receipts for a $20 motel.


All class right there.


----------



## Numb26

ccpowerslave said:


> All class right there.


Nothing but the best, right??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣


----------



## ccpowerslave

Numb26 said:


> Nothing but the best, right??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Well also, the “lady” in that case is DTF in a $20 bed bug infested, UV-lamp failing, crime scene hotel room.


----------



## Numb26

ccpowerslave said:


> Well also, the “lady” in that case is DTF in a $20 bed bug infested, UV-lamp failing, crime scene hotel room.


Sounds like a keeper!


----------



## TexasMom1216

ccpowerslave said:


> Well also, the “lady” in that case is DTF in a $20 bed bug infested, UV-lamp failing, crime scene hotel room.


Can you imagine? My H wouldn't even JOKE about taking me someplace like that. Wow.


----------



## ConanHub

ccpowerslave said:


> All class right there.


One of my beers can cost that much....🙄


----------



## *Deidre*

My advice would be to not respond at all to anything flirty, etc ...Literally no response. I would only reply if it’s having to do with dissolving the marriage, your children, etc... That is the best way you’ll heal because if you keep engaging, it draws you in to the drama. He may not like that but oh well.


----------



## ConanHub

thissucks7788 said:


> Lol- a $20 motel… Seems they were keeping it classy!
> Thank you for saying that about the dating pool… I would eventually like to find love again, so I’m hoping they’ll be a good guy out there for me. I feel like I have a lot to offer, but I am not in my 20s.


Men in your age range are looking for women like you, with the exception of old fools that is.

Honestly, if you are fit, you might have to watch out for the young bucks who are actually pretty thirsty.


----------



## ccpowerslave

TexasMom1216 said:


> Can you imagine? My H wouldn't even JOKE about taking me someplace like that. Wow.


My minimum standard is a Holiday Inn Express. Had sex in plenty of those and never picked up lice, bed bugs, etc… plus you get a free breakfast sandwich and sometimes those are really nice even though they’re microwaved.

Very classy!


----------



## TexasMom1216

ccpowerslave said:


> My minimum standard is a Holiday Inn Express. Had sex in plenty of those and never picked up lice, bed bugs, etc… plus you get a free breakfast sandwich and sometimes those are really nice even though they’re microwaved.
> 
> Very classy!


🤢🤮


----------



## Numb26

ccpowerslave said:


> My minimum standard is a Holiday Inn Express. Had sex in plenty of those and never picked up lice, bed bugs, etc… plus you get a free breakfast sandwich and sometimes those are really nice even though they’re microwaved.
> 
> Very classy!


Back in the day the standard was Red Roof Inn


----------



## ccpowerslave

TexasMom1216 said:


> 🤢🤮


Hey sometimes when you’re in the middle of nowhere there isn’t a Four Seasons. I stand by Holiday Inn Express. They’re the Ritz Carlton of cheap roadside hotels.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ccpowerslave said:


> Hey sometimes when you’re in the middle of nowhere there isn’t a Four Seasons. I stand by Holiday Inn Express. They’re the Ritz Carlton of cheap roadside hotels.


And that is why my H always makes spreadsheets for our trips and we don't go anywhere without reservations. 

It's not just me, he's the same way. Although Marriot has some "suite" places that are ok, they are no-frills but clean. Still, reservations.


----------



## TXTrini

thissucks7788 said:


> Lol- a $20 motel… Seems they were keeping it classy!
> Thank you for saying that about the dating pool… I would eventually like to find love again, so I’m hoping they’ll be a good guy out there for me. I feel like I have a lot to offer, but I am not in my 20s.


Girl, I laughed so hard when I saw those charges. I thought, damn girl, he must really think SO highly of you and you so little of yourself. 

Not every man is looking for a 20 y/o, despite what some of them might say. That's assuming they're even hot or rich enough to attract reciprocal interest. My exH wasn't rich, but he did have a full head of hair and looked good for his age at the time of his affair. 



ConanHub said:


> Men in your age range are looking for women like you, with the exception of old fools that is.
> 
> Honestly, if you are fit, you might have to watch out for the young bucks who are actually pretty thirsty.


@ thissucks7788 He's not kidding! I was genuinely shocked by the young bucks who were interested. Granted they might just want some fun, but if you're so inclined, you'll be surprised at the sheer variety of options once you're ready, especially as an in-shape woman. 

I had ALL kinds of men interested, from 18-70. Even got a few sugar daddy offers. For reference, I'm not even as fit as you said you are, so you'll do just fine when you're ready to step out.


----------



## thissucks7788

TXTrini said:


> Girl, I laughed so hard when I saw those charges. I thought, damn girl, he must really think SO highly of you and you so little of yourself.
> 
> Not every man is looking for a 20 y/o, despite what some of them might say. That's assuming they're even hot or rich enough to attract reciprocal interest. My exH wasn't rich, but he did have a full head of hair and looked good for his age at the time of his affair.
> 
> 
> @ thissucks7788 He's not kidding! I was genuinely shocked by the young bucks who were interested. Granted they might just want some fun, but if you're so inclined, you'll be surprised at the sheer variety of options once you're ready, especially as an in-shape woman.
> 
> I had ALL kinds of men interested, from 18-70. Even got a few sugar daddy offers. For reference, I'm not even as fit as you said you are, so you'll do just fine when you're ready to step out.


That’s too funny… My Nan used to say that the guy was a good catch because he had his own hair and teeth and could still drive at night haha! I know what you mean though… My H Is still a good looking guy and in good shape - but, he is still 50 years old and it seems that the 20 year old does not have any romantic interest in him. He does not have a lot of money, so sugar daddy is out.

i’m so glad to hear that about the dating world… Honestly I better brush up because I’ve been with H for so many years now. I wouldn’t even know where to look or how to begin.

I am actually someone who enjoys working out, believe it or not. When I was growing up, my mom had a local fitness show on cable access TV in our area. This was before any of that stuff was fashionable. I grew up with it and I’ve never really stopped. Makes me feel good and strong especially as I get older.


----------



## Enigma32

ConanHub said:


> Smooches. Save the snark. I've been very happily secured to my lady for 30 years and take pride in her and the life we've built together.
> 
> I'm far more envious of those that build wealth as I'm really no good at it but I don't get pissy about their lives.
> 
> I'm just sharing data and experiences like anyone here.


I don't know why everyone here is giving you such a hard time when you say you get hit on by cashiers. You have posted your pic here and you're much better looking than I am but I've been hit on by plenty of cashiers myself. Once had a girl working the drive thru at a fast food place I hit up a few times make one of those Missed Connection posts about me on Craiglist back in the day. I was 30 and she was 19. The stuff happens. A lot. Are some ladies angry if men have options or something?


----------



## Numb26

Enigma32 said:


> I don't know why everyone here is giving you such a hard time when you say you get hit on by cashiers. You have posted your pic here and you're much better looking than I am but I've been hit on by plenty of cashiers myself. Once had a girl working the drive thru at a fast food place I hit up a few times make one of those Missed Connection posts about me on Craiglist back in the day. I was 30 and she was 19. The stuff happens. A lot. Are some ladies angry if men have options or something?


Yes, yes they are!


----------



## lifeistooshort

RandomDude said:


> Just out of curiousity,
> 
> What if, let's say a 23 yr old entrepreneur with her own home and business. Would





Rob_1 said:


> I'm 69, I was just served by this gorgeous 20 years old cashier that smiled and talked to me. I think she even sighted because of me.
> 
> I'm thinking of dumping my wife for this cashier. I have a little money that I could use to keep her in style.
> I'm so sure she would go for it.
> 
> My only hesitation is how all this angry, jaded middle age females would take it. Would I see a column of pitchfork carrying, mouth foaming angry mob of women coming my way?  Or is it safe to proceed?


I will absolutely foam at the mouth next time I'm rocking my bf's world ...which will be soon.

No pitchforks will be involved though 😊


----------



## TXTrini

thissucks7788 said:


> That’s too funny… My Nan used to say that the guy was a good catch because he had his own hair and teeth and could still drive at night haha! I know what you mean though… My H Is still a good looking guy and in good shape - but, he is still 50 years old and it seems that the 20 year old does not have any romantic interest in him. He does not have a lot of money, so sugar daddy is out.
> 
> i’m so glad to hear that about the dating world… Honestly I better brush up because I’ve been with H for so many years now. I wouldn’t even know where to look or how to begin.
> 
> I am actually someone who enjoys working out, believe it or not. When I was growing up, my mom had a local fitness show on cable access TV in our area. This was before any of that stuff was fashionable. I grew up with it and I’ve never really stopped. Makes me feel good and strong especially as I get older.


Ha! Nan's so right! Hmm, my bf meets all three of those categories, score! Your husband might be hot, but he's morally bankrupt and has no sense of loyalty or character. I know it's hard to see now, but they're both doing you a huge service outing his dumb ass now. It's much better than finding out he's screwing around after the fact!

I actually googled "how to date in 2019", I never had to date before. The Singles thread on here terrified me, some of that stuff was awful!😂. It's certainly not all fun and rainbows, there are a bunch of asshats out there, but there are lots of decent folk too. 

Just remember, the men who come on here and talk "big" are doing so anonymously. Most men are not nearly as ballsy as they claim to be IRL -they'll be just as terrified as you out there. Most men out there aren't super fit, don't have a full head of hair, aren't super cocky or financially balling, they are just as human and flawed as us women.


----------



## Numb26

TXTrini said:


> Ha! Nan's so right! Hmm, my bf meets all three of those categories, score! Your husband might be hot, but he's morally bankrupt and has no sense of loyalty or character. I know it's hard to see now, but they're both doing you a huge service outing his dumb ass now. It's much better than finding out he's screwing around after the fact!
> 
> I actually googled "how to date in 2019", I never had to date before. The Singles thread on here terrified me, some of that stuff was awful!😂. It's certainly not all fun and rainbows, there are a bunch of asshats out there, but there are lots of decent folk too.
> 
> Just remember, the men who come on here and talk "big" are doing so anonymously. Most men are not nearly as ballsy as they claim to be IRL -they'll be just as terrified as you out there. Most men out there aren't super fit, don't have a full head of hair, aren't super cocky or financially balling, they are just as human and flawed as us women.


I don't know about other men but you certainly terrify me! 😉


----------



## TXTrini

Numb26 said:


> I don't know about other men but you certainly terrify me! 😉


Why? I'm less than half your size!


----------



## ccpowerslave

TXTrini said:


> …don't have a full head of hair…


😭


----------



## lifeistooshort

OP, maybe you should pay the girl to feign interest until you can get a hassle free favorable settlement?

Just kidding. 

Kind of 🤣


----------



## thissucks7788

ccpowerslave said:


> 😭


Good taste in music so no worries!!😀


----------



## thissucks7788

lifeistooshort said:


> OP, maybe you should pay the girl to feign interest until you can get a hassle free favorable settlement?
> 
> Just kidding.
> 
> Kind of 🤣


I just love the people on this forum!!! For real!


----------



## TXTrini

ccpowerslave said:


> 😭


Oh, shush, you have a wife. 

Besides, loads of men drone on about their requirements for attractive mates - younger, hotter, big boobs, etc.


----------



## thissucks7788

Enigma32 said:


> I don't know why everyone here is giving you such a hard time when you say you get hit on by cashiers. You have posted your pic here and you're much better looking than I am but I've been hit on by plenty of cashiers myself. Once had a girl working the drive thru at a fast food place I hit up a few times make one of those Missed Connection posts about me on Craiglist back in the day. I was 30 and she was 19. The stuff happens. A lot. Are some ladies angry if men have options or something?


There are pictures on here? I pretty much have a visual in my head of what I think everyone looks like.


----------



## Numb26

thissucks7788 said:


> There are pictures on here? I pretty much have a visual in my head of what I think everyone looks like.


I did too. Boy was I wrong! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


----------



## Enigma32

thissucks7788 said:


> There are pictures on here? I pretty much have a visual in my head of what I think everyone looks like.


People can post their pics but it's generally not a great idea. I advise against giving away too much personal information on anonymous forums like this one. You might be surprised how many people will use it against you.


----------



## ConanHub

Enigma32 said:


> I don't know why everyone here is giving you such a hard time when you say you get hit on by cashiers. You have posted your pic here and you're much better looking than I am but I've been hit on by plenty of cashiers myself. Once had a girl working the drive thru at a fast food place I hit up a few times make one of those Missed Connection posts about me on Craiglist back in the day. I was 30 and she was 19. The stuff happens. A lot. Are some ladies angry if men have options or something?


LoL! I don't know but it's just one life being shared here among many. I'd much rather be posting about being more wealthy like I previously mentioned but that just isn't my experience and getting hit on had been.😋

Mrs. Conan might be short but she's no one to mess with and there's been some pretty funny stories about how she's handled things.😁


----------



## Enigma32

TXTrini said:


> Oh, shush, you have a wife.
> 
> Besides, loads of men drone on about their requirements for attractive mates - younger, hotter, big boobs, etc.


Boobs don't need to be big, just nice!


----------



## Numb26

Enigma32 said:


> Boobs don't need to be big, just nice!


Anything more then a handful and you are risky a sprained thumb


----------



## ConanHub

thissucks7788 said:


> There are pictures on here? I pretty much have a visual in my head of what I think everyone looks like.


I've been a little loose with mine but I've also been completely mobile for years and would be pretty hard to track down.

I still wouldn't advise it.


----------



## TXTrini

Enigma32 said:


> Boobs don't need to be big, just nice!


It was an example. Some guys' "nice" includes big, and that's all good. My idea of attractive men simply happens to include hair unless the dude looks like the baldie from the Mummy. Yummy! 

Do you know how they say people tend to find what they grew up around most attractive? Well, all the men in my family and circle had luscious full heads of hair. Some men's moms probably had big boobs 🤷‍♂️


----------



## Rus47

thissucks7788 said:


> I am actually someone who enjoys working out, believe it or not. When I was growing up, my mom had a local fitness show on cable access TV in our area. This was before any of that stuff was fashionable. I grew up with it and I’ve never really stopped. Makes me feel good and strong especially as I get older.


IMO, this will be a good avenue to pursue. Find people you have a common interest with and participate in group activities. Fitness groups are common where I live, all ages and all types of exercising. Bicycling, running, triathlon, ultras, tennis, pickle ball, swimming, weight lifting, whatever. The wife and I have been in several running groups over the years, a lot of fun.

I had a good friend whose wife left him after two decades married, and he said the same as you "been married so long have no idea how to find someone else". I told him to stay out of the bars and cocktail lounges. Actually encouraged him to join a church singles group where he met and married his second wife 20 years ago.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Rus47 said:


> I told him to stay out of the bars and cocktail lounges.


There are many nice women in bars and cocktail lounges as well.

I agree with athletic clubs. If you join a gym with a lot of members or a club with a lot of members once you make friends with people they’ll know who is single and isn’t a serial killer and can hook you up.

Many years ago I was going to a gym and I went to an organized run and for some reason nobody showed up that day except for me and a couple of very fast women. It was a hill run on trails on a steep hill and I think we did 5-6 miles, I was dying but during that time they completely interrogated me for my marital and dating status and said they know it for all the guys in the gym and set people up. They then proceeded to go over a list of all the people they had set up and were “tee hee” the entire time while I was praying they would slow down.


----------



## Rus47

ccpowerslave said:


> they completely interrogated me for my marital and dating status


While you are trying to run a 10k in steep terrain?!? That is cruel.


----------



## ConanHub

thissucks7788 said:


> That’s too funny… My Nan used to say that the guy was a good catch because he had his own hair and teeth and could still drive at night haha! I know what you mean though… My H Is still a good looking guy and in good shape - but, he is still 50 years old and it seems that the 20 year old does not have any romantic interest in him. He does not have a lot of money, so sugar daddy is out.
> 
> i’m so glad to hear that about the dating world… Honestly I better brush up because I’ve been with H for so many years now. I wouldn’t even know where to look or how to begin.
> 
> I am actually someone who enjoys working out, believe it or not. When I was growing up, my mom had a local fitness show on cable access TV in our area. This was before any of that stuff was fashionable. I grew up with it and I’ve never really stopped. Makes me feel good and strong especially as I get older.


There are probably some fitness clubs or groups you could join for socializing and maybe even meeting someone for dating.

@lifeistooshort has very practical experience with athletic groups and could probably give some tips.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Rus47 said:


> While you are trying to run a 10k in steep terrain?!? That is cruel.


For them it was like a walk in the park recovery run. They’re like lifeistooshort they win their age group every time and sometimes win or place at the top of women’s overall. So their slow “la la la” talking pace even on steep dirt hills was fast for me at the time and now, forget about it.


----------



## Rus47

ccpowerslave said:


> For them it was like a walk in the park recovery run. They’re like lifeistooshort they win their age group every time and sometimes win or place at the top of women’s overall. So their slow “la la la” talking pace even on steep dirt hills was fast for me at the time and now, forget about it.


Maybe they were giving you a "test drive" on the sly to find out how long and hard you were good for.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Rus47 said:


> Maybe they were giving you a "test drive" on the sly to find out how long and hard you were good for.


I got credit for showing up I think and not getting dropped but other than that…

Now tractor tire flipping for time, that’s an event where I can beat serious competitive athletes and such in the lower weight classes. 140lb women have no chance except for maybe the competitive CrossFit ladies but thankfully they’re all at CrossFit gyms haha.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

snowbum said:


> I don't know your background, but are you currently married? Happily?
> 
> I realize people should do what works for them and worry about themselves. Situations are different for everyone. You seem to harbor anger towards middle aged women and call women man haters. If I'm wrong I'll apologize.


Anger doesn't begin to describe it. And it's not just middle-aged women.


----------



## hamadryad

DownByTheRiver said:


> Anger doesn't begin to describe it. And it's not just middle-aged women.


I mean, really....you need to get a life... 

I backed out of the thread, and you are still at this? to pick something from like 10 pages ago? (pity)...

(Mods are a waste of time here, btw, they don't do anything..)

No one, least of all an anonymous person on an insignificant forum, should occupy that type of mind space in your head...you should figure out why I am so important in your life and release it. ..just let it go...Like I said, I am actually doing great,...maybe you will get there someday. its a good feeling, I promise you..


----------



## MattMatt

hamadryad said:


> I mean, really....you need to get a life...
> 
> I backed out of the thread, and you are still at this? to pick something from like 10 pages ago? (pity)...
> 
> (Mods are a waste of time here, btw, they don't do anything..)
> 
> No one, least of all an anonymous person on an insignificant forum, should occupy that type of mind space in your head...you should figure out why I am so important in your life and release it. ..just let it go...Like I said, I am actually doing great,...maybe you will get there someday. its a good feeling, I promise you..


@hamadryad *On the contrary, moderators do lots of things. We were discussing your reports in a team meeting, wondering what a fair and just course of action would be. And then you make the above post, in which you attack all of the volunteer moderation team.*

*You have given us another idea of suitable further action. Can you guess what it is?*


----------



## lifeistooshort

Yep, and some people seem to think we mods have absolutely nothing to do all day beyond mediate arguments. It's not like we work and have things to do outside of TAM.

it's also worth noting that not all reports result in action. People are free to report what they want and we review it, but it may be that we decide no action is warranted. This is a public forum and while there are rules people are also free to say their piece.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

In Absentia said:


> And many are happy they had children young so they can enjoy their life when they are more mature at 35.


That was us. Never regretted it.
It really created a longer period of empty nesting while healthy to enjoy naked time at will.

In between kids/grandkids visits. Which are always great times.


----------



## RandomDude

What in the world happened here, thought this was a party thread... I rock up and it's a crime scene


----------



## ConanHub

We should have Mod appreciation day.👍

For doing a necessary job that I've often shuddered at when contemplating, you have my heartfelt thanks.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> We should have Mod appreciation day.👍
> For doing a necessary job that I've often shuddered at when contemplating, you have my heartfelt thanks.











For tolerating all the


----------



## thissucks7788

Time to bring back the love Tam family!! This was a fun thread (well you know besides my big dummy trying to bag a 20 year old and stuff 

PS Thank you mods-- tough job!


----------



## thissucks7788

TexasMom1216 said:


> View attachment 85629
> 
> For tolerating all the
> View attachment 85630


LOLOL-- the Llama!!!!


----------



## TexasMom1216

thissucks7788 said:


> LOLOL-- the Llama!!!!


It's autobiographical. 😉


----------



## lifeistooshort

ConanHub said:


> We should have Mod appreciation day.👍
> 
> For doing a necessary job that I've often shuddered at when contemplating, you have my heartfelt thanks.


Send chocolate 🍫 😋


----------



## MattMatt

lifeistooshort said:


> Send chocolate 🍫 😋


That would help! 🍫


----------



## TexasMom1216

Virtual Chocolate








😂


----------



## ConanHub

Sexual chocolate!!!


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> Sexual chocolate!!!


I KNEW you would get it. I couldn't resist.


----------



## Divinely Favored

TexasMom1216 said:


> And bully. And use. And lie to. 😠


At the same time, those girls are going after those older guys, and the decent guys her own age don't exist in her eyes.

I just put them in the same category of the girls chasing the Bad Boys and keep getting screwed over. Once they get damaged and used..don't come back to the decent guys wanting to get in a relationship...because in the words of Wayne and Garth..."they're not worthy!"


----------



## Rus47

Divinely Favored said:


> I just put them in the same category of the girls chasing the Bad Boys and keep getting screwed over.


Have several female relatives who chased the Bad Boys. And 'caught' them long enough to suit the Bad Boy's purposes. It didn't end well for any of the females. All ended up unwed mothers with no money, no future, no husband, being used at pleasure of other men, bad and mediocre.

All of the females were talked to by male and female relatives with real-world experience, in some cases by females who had also chased the Bad Boys to their sorrow. Wasted breath.


----------



## lifeistooshort

Rus47 said:


> Have several female relatives who chased the Bad Boys. And 'caught' them long enough to suit the Bad Boy's purposes. It didn't end well for any of the females. All ended up unwed mothers with no money, no future, no husband, being used at pleasure of other men, bad and mediocre.


Women should definitely be more careful who they knock out kids with.

I suppose one could just have a good time with a bad boy, but that never worked for ne because guys who just wanted a piece never turned me on. I don't see how one could possibly feel safe with them and feeling safe is necessary for bonding, but to each her own I guess.

But for the love of all that is good don't get pregnant by one of these scumbags


----------



## thissucks7788

Funny- I have never been attracted to bad boys. Ironic how my "good guy" is behaving. Be who you are-- plenty women like good guys-me included.


----------



## TexasMom1216

Girls like bad boys. Women like men. 😎


----------



## ccpowerslave

TexasMom1216 said:


> Girls like bad boys. Women like men. 😎


I think there is a thing for some women where they like a man with an edge. I think it plays into the protection angle a bit. If the guy is a complete wimp, how can he protect you?


----------



## Rus47

TexasMom1216 said:


> Girls like bad boys. Women like men. 😎


The problem is women begin puberty as girls. So indeed they love rush of being with a bad boy. By the time they are matured to women they have damaged their future and the men they are then attracted to want their own kids, not some bad boy’s offspring to raise.

in these times of reliable cheap birth control one would think the girls would have sense to not get pregnant by a bad boy. But they dont


----------



## TexasMom1216

ccpowerslave said:


> I think there is a thing for some women where they like a man with an edge. I think it plays into the protection angle a bit. If the guy is a complete wimp, how can he protect you?


What does this statement have to do with mine? How is not being a "bad boy" translating into being a wimp?


----------



## ccpowerslave

TexasMom1216 said:


> What does this statement have to do with mine? How is not being a "bad boy" translating into being a wimp?


A man with no edge at all doesn’t seem reliable to me as someone who can protect. So I can see the attractiveness.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ccpowerslave said:


> A man with no edge at all doesn’t seem reliable to me as someone who can protect. So I can see the attractiveness.


I think we have different ideas about what makes a man a “bad boy.”


----------



## ConanHub

TexasMom1216 said:


> I think we have different ideas about what makes a man a “bad boy.”


I think you're probably in agreement but terminology is different.

When you refer to someone as a man, you are defining someone perfectly capable of doing harm and violence that also has self control and the wisdom to only let someone have some hell when needed.

I believe that's what ccpowerslave is talking about as well.

Harmless men, or men who would be pretty useless in a scrape, are missing an element that most women find attractive.

Bad boys definitely exhibit the dangerous side of being a man but they have a whole slew of unattractive traits to go with it and girls do have a tendency to be foolish enough to be taken in whereas women aren't impressed with them.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ConanHub said:


> I think you're probably in agreement but terminology is different.
> 
> When you refer to someone as a man, you are defining someone perfectly capable of doing harm and violence that also has self control and the wisdom to only let someone have some hell when needed.
> 
> I believe that's what ccpowerslave is talking about as well.
> 
> Harmless men, or men who would be pretty useless in a scrape, are missing an element that most women find attractive.
> 
> Bad boys definitely exhibit the dangerous side of being a man but they have a whole slew of unattractive traits to go with it and girls do have a tendency to be foolish enough to be taken in whereas women aren't impressed with them.


This.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Basically yes what @ConanHub said.

Someone like a 1%r MC guy is a bad boy who is actually bad because they’re probably doing actual bad stuff (criminal). We all agree (I hope) that isn’t good.

However when someone messes with you or more importantly your wife or girlfriend and they need straightening I think it is attractive to be with someone who can actually get it done. The only way to actually know that is if they have been in some scrapes and you have seen how they acted which means they’re not some squeaky clean dweeb.


----------



## TexasMom1216

My H is a "reformed" bad boy. He's done ALL THE THINGS. He knows some SHADY people. 

He is no longer involved with any of that. If he were, I never would have dated much less married him, all that was behind him before I came along. I know that if anyone tried to hurt me or our son, he would stop them. He keeps us safe and there is NO question that he's a man. None. 

Girls like bad boys because they want to "fix" them. If I didn't grow you in my stomach, I'm not taking you to raise.


----------



## ccpowerslave

TexasMom1216 said:


> My H is a "reformed" bad boy. He's done ALL THE THINGS. He knows some SHADY people.


Exactly what I am saying. The guy has/had an edge. He’s probably a great family man now but you know the wrong thing happens and he can bring the pain down on people.


----------



## TexasMom1216

ccpowerslave said:


> Exactly what I am saying. The guy has/had an edge. He’s probably a great family man now but you know the wrong thing happens and he can bring the pain down on people.


He has an edge for sure. And he is a great family man now.


----------



## Rus47

ccpowerslave said:


> Exactly what I am saying. The guy has/had an edge. He’s probably a great family man now but you know the wrong thing happens and he can bring the pain down on people.


The only cautionary note I would add, there are a LOT of really bad boys prone to mess with innocents who are carrying a pistol and have no problem killing anyone who objects.

A lot of family men have been murdered defending their homes and families. Times have changed a lot in the last 5 decades. The criminals walk with impunity among us.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Rus47 said:


> The only cautionary note I would add, there are a LOT of really bad boys prone to mess with innocents who are carrying a pistol and have no problem killing anyone who objects.
> 
> A lot of family men have been murdered defending their homes and families. Times have changed a lot in the last 5 decades. The criminals walk with impunity among us.


For sure, part of my calculation is whether someone seems shooty or stabby. In the city if I am not traveling I carry a flip knife and I have trained with rubber ones with a buddy. Guns are just straight up bad.


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## Rus47

TexasMom1216 said:


> Girls like bad boys because they want to "fix" them. If I didn't grow you in my stomach, I'm not taking you to raise.


Had conversation once with 20 year old female relative about why she was enmeshed with MC bad guy when there were decent young men with actual prospects at her university. She said the attraction was excitement. Said when he showed up at her place she never knew what would happen. Maybe he would take her on 200 mile trip on his Harley, or maybe ef her for hours, or maybe ignore her while eating her food and drinking her beer.

I couldnt convince her she was ruining her life. He ended up in prison for meth, she ended up on drugs herself. He had an edge for sure, would have had no problem killing anyone who got in the way.


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## Divinely Favored

Anastasia6 said:


> You obviously don't work in the field. It's about 100 to 1 male teacher to female teacher committing these crimes.


With in my area of the country it is 3/1 female teachers committing the sex acts with students.


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## ConanHub

Rus47 said:


> The only cautionary note I would add, there are a LOT of really bad boys prone to mess with innocents who are carrying a pistol and have no problem killing anyone who objects.
> 
> A lot of family men have been murdered defending their homes and families. Times have changed a lot in the last 5 decades. The criminals walk with impunity among us.


Men raised with guns know full well and better how to navigate the use of a weapon.

There have always been scum but our population has been somewhat emasculated and many don't know how to fight or use weapons.


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## ConanHub

ccpowerslave said:


> Guns are just straight up bad.


Could you clarify?

Mrs. C and I both carry and both my boys were raised around guns and gun safety and use.

I'm assuming this is in reference to criminals?


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## Numb26

ConanHub said:


> Could you clarify?
> 
> Mrs. C and I both carry and both my boys were raised around guns and gun safety and use.
> 
> I'm assuming this is in reference to criminals?


Same here. I also carry and my kids have been raised shooting and learning gun safety


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## ConanHub

Divinely Favored said:


> With in my area of the country it is 3/1 female teachers committing the sex acts with students.


Misbehavior has definitely shown to be influenced by region.


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## Divinely Favored

Numb26 said:


> Maybe it's bad luck or the wrong pond but most women I have been interested in that are my own age don't seem to have much interest in the physical aspects of a relationship and have no issue being upfront about it


Good they did not waste your time.


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## TexasMom1216

Numb26 said:


> Same here. I also carry and my kids have been raised shooting and learning gun safety


I'm not a dude, and my H doesn't typically carry, but we have guns and my son actually owns his own guns. He goes to the range with my husband and has his shooting merit badge and all the Texas things.


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## Numb26

TexasMom1216 said:


> I'm not a dude, and my H doesn't typically carry, but we have guns and my son actually owns his own guns. He goes to the range with my husband and has his shooting merit badge and all the Texas things.


On the Ranch it is an absolute necessity to know how to handle weapons and handle yourself with those weapons.


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## Rus47

ConanHub said:


> Men raised with guns know full well and better how to navigate the use of a weapon.
> 
> There have always been scum but our population has been somewhat emasculated and many don't know how to fight or use weapons.


I have used firearms for most of my life although never had military training. The problem is, even legally carrying a firearm ( concealed or open ) for self defense requires an innocent citizen to make a life and death decision in an instant, The hesitation is all it takes for the bad guy to win. Alternatively should the good guy prevail, defending a wrongful death lawsuit will bankrupt him. Lose-lose.

Anyway, apologies for the t/j.


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## ConanHub

Rus47 said:


> I have used firearms for most of my life although never had military training. The problem is, even legally carrying a firearm ( concealed or open ) for self defense requires an innocent citizen to make a life and death decision in an instant, The hesitation is all it takes for the bad guy to win. Alternatively should the good guy prevail, defending a wrongful death lawsuit will bankrupt him. Lose-lose.
> 
> Anyway, apologies for the t/j.


I'm up on it and so should everyone else but our society has not been nurtured in that direction.

I'm a civilized barbarian and that is not a joke so I understand about regular people but being capable of killing when it's needed has been a foundation of every civilization that ever existed.


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## TexasMom1216

Peace is kept by good men skilled at violence.


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## ccpowerslave

ConanHub said:


> Could you clarify?
> 
> Mrs. C and I both carry and both my boys were raised around guns and gun safety and use.
> 
> I'm assuming this is in reference to criminals?


Of course I mean we have a bunch of guns at home. I mean general public shooty bois.

My wife prefers M9, when I bought it she was like damn son this is sexy.


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## Casual Observer

TexasMom1216 said:


> Peace is kept by good men skilled at violence.


Paraphrasing your inner George Orwell are we? “People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.”


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## Divinely Favored

Rob_1 said:


> I completely disagreed with your statement here. The whole world is filled with Smart, capable, independent adult women that at home are bossed around, mistreated, abused by their man. Cases, and cases, all over the world we all hear about it and wonder: why is she putting up with that treatment?, why is she not leaving the abusive husband?


There are a lot of men in the same situation and will not kick those sorry excuse for a wife to the curb either.


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## Divinely Favored

Diana7 said:


> Thankfully some men even date women their own age and are happy to do so. As did my husband. Shock horror.
> 
> It makes me laugh when I hear these older guys claiming that women their age can't keep up with them etc etc.
> It's all nonsense of course. Just an excuse to go after women their daughters age or not much older.


I think it is more of a lot of women start shutting down the sex during menopause.


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## TexasMom1216

Casual Observer said:


> Paraphrasing your inner George Orwell are we? “People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.”


I was actually repeating what I heard from the Black Rifle coffee guy. Mat Best I think is the one that said it. But hey, quoting Orwell sounds smarter so let’s go with that. 😉


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## Divinely Favored

Numb26 said:


> I was talking about lifestyle and appearance. Sex doesn't usually even come into the picture if they can't keep up with those two things. I am more active then most 30 years olds and it shows.


My BinL was federal LEO and rancher. He is 74 now, my sister is 56. He can work circles around 25 yr olds. Problem being is he is retired now and wants to stay on the ranch. Sister goes to Mexico, Finland, etc on vacation but he will not go. Don't blame him now. I would not want to be alone with her cheating ass either. He is on the decline and she is a marathon runner. Now she is going to have to care for aging elderly hubby.


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## Numb26

Divinely Favored said:


> My BinL was federal LEO and rancher. He is 74 now, my sister is 56. He can work circles around 25 yr olds. Problem being is he is retired now and wants to stay on the ranch. Sister goes to Mexico, Finland, etc on vacation but he will not go. Don't blame him now. I would not want to be alone with her cheating ass either. He is on the decline and she is a marathon runner. Now she is going to have to care for aging elderly hubby.


I know how that is. I outwork every young employee I have! 🤣 🤣 🤣


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## ccpowerslave

TexasMom1216 said:


> I was actually repeating what I heard from the Black Rifle coffee guy. Mat Best I think is the one that said it. But hey, quoting Orwell sounds smarter so let’s go with that. 😉


Haha I get 6 boxes of black rifle k-cups every month.


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