# I have a question



## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Is reading erotica the same as watching porn? Does it effect the relationship the same way? Do woman that dislike there husbands viewing porn feel the same way about them reading erotica? 

I am confused because I wanted to wife and i to read some erotica together and she reacted the same as if I asked her to watch porn.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Well i cant see an issue in watching porn anyway. I cant see how it can affect a marriage, As long as your not spending every waking hour watching it etc, and your not neglecting your wife's and needs.

My husband does not read, he hates it, but if he did i would not having a problem with it. Its all just fantasy, Its not like your cheating in anyway, reading erotica, or watching porn.

My opinion is, If you have issues with either of these, I think its insecurities you have yourself, but its only my view, and i know a lot of people will disagree with me.

We both enjoy a bit of porn, together and alone.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

Porn or erotica, IMHO, only get in the way of a relationship if you are using them to satisfy your sexual needs INSTEAD being sexually active with your SO.

You can use it to stimulate your sexual activity with your SO, give you ideas, enjoy it together. That is when it is best.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

At the end of the day they both provide sexual stimulation. 

I would have thought that women would have less issue with erotica due to it not involving the bodies of live women (and men). However I know erotica is encouraged to be avoided in some of the most conservative religions.

Is your wife very uptight about sex?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Cyclist said:


> Porn or erotica, IMHO, only get in the way of a relationship if you are using them to satisfy your sexual needs INSTEAD being sexually active with your SO.
> 
> You can use it to stimulate your sexual activity with your SO, give you ideas, enjoy it together. That is when it is best.


I agree with Cyclist, it is using these things instead of having that interaction with your partner that is the issue, well it would be for me anyway.

I have no problem with Mr H watching porn, he is a big boy and I have no desire to control him.
He has no issue with me watching it. We watch it together occasionally.

I don't read erotica, it just isn't my thing however Mr H reads sex books to me in bed. We have a draw full of instructional type books which he will read to me ever once in a while.
He also reads novels to me in bed and I just cannot help myself but to jump on him after about 10 minutes, his voice is as sexy as hell. Sorry to digress.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

MissScarlett said:


> At the end of the day they both provide sexual stimulation.
> 
> I would have thought that women would have less issue with erotica due to it not involving the bodies of live women (and men). However I know erotica is encouraged to be avoided in some of the most conservative religions.
> 
> Is your wife very uptight about sex?


She is very uptight about the use of porn. I am trying to find a middle ground where we can find areas that we can share. I will be honest I am trying to add some different flavors other than vanilla. Or at least I am trying to get her to at least stir the pot a little.


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