# PMS hitting my wife and me



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

I woke up this morning to have my wife say "I think my PMS is starting and I think I will be down for the next little while. My PMS at this age has me depressed rather than irritated. I just wanted to let you know."

With that in mind I tried to make her day easy. At one point we started to talk about sex and my possible circumssision. My gland can't get by the foreskin on my penis. I didn't think this was odd when we first were together (Or when I first became sexually active) It's only now that I've discovered that the whole time we've ever had sex that it's always hurt her on penetration and that in the beginning she put up with it because her feelings for me, her emotions, were so strong that it would override any pain she felt at first." This was a shock..first time I've heard this from her. So as I started looking at the different types of circumssisions available I wanted her opinion. I wanted her to enjoy sex and wanted to know what would be too little or too much. At one point I didn't fully understand what part was painful and said "I think we're going to have to have sex at some point where you can tell me what part is painful so I can really understand what is going on inside of you." She seemed to understand...and since I was going to go for a consulte today and since she had the day off I kind of threw it out there..."We could always just go for it now" I said with confidence...and she reacted badly to it.

She asked me why I was so focused on sex. I told her I wasn't and that I am focused on all parts of our relationship but that the only part she seems to act negatively to is the sex and intimacy part. We started to talk more and because of her PMS she revealed more about her and her feelings...

Apparently, my powerlifting diet and routine got her to thinking I was not a healthy person to be with...as in I was unhealthy and she didn't want to be around unhealthy people...at least not now. My diet is perhaps something hard to understand, those who do lift weights and understand macronutrients and micronutrients along with timeing will understand what I eat at what time I eat etc. She said, "I can't sleep next to you because I have to see you eat this or that as you sleep." which is true, I eat something small before I sleep...but I have show her time and time again that it is not 'unhealthy' but she sticks to her idea that it is. My blood results show a much healthier cardio system than hers even though I am over my BMI (Which is not a good indicator of health) and she is under her BMI. She says that THIS is the issue that has gotten in her way to being happy with me. She doesn't know when it became a problem but she doesn't like it.

Had she mentioned that this was such a concern that she was thinking that I wasn't a person she could have children with, I would have changed things up. However, she says it's her fault for not bringing it up earlier. While she admits fault in that area, she still has an attitude about it in a way that 'Everything that has happened is your fault' when it comes to her infidelity. I don't know how much of it is PMS and how much is true...she warned me ahead of time but I don't know how much I should put up with.

I reminded her for the first time since dday that I still have images of catching her and how they still torment me. She wasn't too responsive but she said "It is all my fault" much the same way a child admits fault for something he or she isn't entire remorsefull about. I decided to leave the apartment for work but headed to a place where I could be alone with my thoughts. I sent her an email asking if I needed to pick anything up on the way home. She gave me a short list and added 'As always, I'm sorry I made you feel bad.'

Today I'm more angry than anything else really...not up not down...angry. 4 weeks out and she wants me to understand she needs time, even during her PMS...when she is the one who cheated in the first place. Her lack of trust in me when I've done nothing to show that she couldn't trust me, is something that hurts really bad. I got home with the list of goods and left again. I figured 'You want time...well, here you go.' I'm not sure if she'll spend it on her 'thinking' but at least I'm out. I decided to head to an internet cafe with a massage chair. I've spent the last 2 hours getting a massage from the chair and I've got another hour before I have to get going home. By the time I get home it will be about 10pm...I don't know if my wife is going to use that time for figuring things out for herself or if she's just killing time...I'm in a place right now where I don't want to be at home and I want to let her do everything on her own...I want her to take care of her mother, get the stuff she needs and not rely on me for a thing so she can see that I've been a decent husband. Whether or not that's enough for her, I don't know...and that is something else I mentioned. "If I'm not someone that makes you happy, leave or have me go so that someone can make you happy." Again, with her PMS and her selfish attitude of trying to pass blame for the **** storm that has happened I don't know what to believe is true and what is just hormone over-reacting.

She brought up her ex boyfriend...not something I want to hear about. She said "He asked me once if I ever thought about marriage. He warned me that I shouldn't think about marriage with him because he has never seen a happy marriage last." She went on to say "I don't know why people want to get married. If a single person asks for advice, I can't give them any because I don't know any good parts about marriage."

As I said, it could be the PMS talking. Still, if it's just hormones, those hormones are kicking me in the stomach right now.


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## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

When I got home she seemed OK at first but I got the feeling she wanted to be left alone.

BUT, she then said through the door to the other room "I didn't listen to any music or watch any TV." This was her way of saying that she was feeling bad. When I mentioned to her for the first time since I caught her how much that moment hurt, she decided to go on the offensive a bit with "Well, I was hurt too." And tears came down her face. She was trying to, in my opinion, to somewhat justify her actions for something I may or may not have done. I didn't react to it, I told knew that PMS was playing with her head and body. I didn't wear any more of my emotions on my sleeve. Then, after about an hour of her complaining, she said she needed to be left alone, so that's what I did.

I expected at one point for her to come into the other room and say goodnight, but she didn't. She just turned off the lights and went to the bedroom.

This morning, I woke up and headed to the bedroom and tried to share some time with her in bed just sleeping. When she woke up, there was no 'good morning' just a shuffle off the shower. About an hour later I woke up and started to get things ready for my mother-in-law. My wife said she could do it but I was already up. When she left she gave me a hug and said 'love you'. Not soon after I got a text message saying sorry and that she loved me...it was good and not so good...I had mentioned to her the night before how much I missed getting random emails from her even if it's just to say how she feels. I half think that was why she emailed me...and another part of me, the wishful part, is that she actually is sorry and wanted to say 'love you'.

I still over-analyze stuff. She still hold's on to her mantra of "I need time to fix myself. I'm broken and feel lost." I added that since all this happened I'm broken and very much lost myself.


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