# Feel like we are walking on eggshells



## BetrayedChris (Nov 24, 2009)

I found out about the A in Nov. 09. Before that we constantly fought,never had sex, he worked all the time.( to be with her because she would go to the station and screw him). In Sept of 09 he told me he didnt love me and we started counseling.

Since the tramp called me and told me of the affair, I have stated that we do things, have sex, bought new furniture the other day for our den, still go to counseling and so on.But to be honest there are times I want to argue with him, (not about her) but I dont because I am afraid that he will go back to her and I know that **** is just waiting for it to happen. I have seen him get angry in his face but he never says anything to me though.I just think that he is afraid to say something to me because he fears that I will throw the A in his face.I hate this situation and wish that it never happened!


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## MrsInPain (Feb 5, 2010)

I know first hand that being cheating on just plain sucks. Seriously, I don't wish the feeling on my worst enemy.

First of all, it's great he's willing to go to counseling.

Second, have you made sure that his contact with the OW is 100% done? You mentioned that she went to his work for their rendezvous. Does she work with him?

Third, I know the feeling on anger. It's part of the process of getting through this hurdle. I hope you can channel that anger into something more positive - like a new hobby (working out, further education, etc.). If it's one thing I gained from being cheated on, it's a new waistline! I've lost some weight because I've found that jogging helps take the edge off. I may still be a b*tch sometimes... but at least I'm not a _raging_ b*tch now! Haha. Also, it may help to bring up this anger in during the counseling sessions. 

Has he retracted on his statement that he doesn't love you? He had to love you to want counseling. Maybe there are some deep-seated issues causing him to push you away. Hopefully you guys can figure those things out through therapy and open, honest time together. 

I hope you feel better soon. Unfortunately, time is the medicine, but I hope your marriage takes a turn for the better. It sounds like fundamentally, you guys are spicing it up and revamping the relationship. I hope it continues and keeps getting better. =)


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## MrsInPain (Feb 5, 2010)

RWB said:


> All this being said, remember the "new" ground rules for your marriage. Be very clear on this...
> 
> 1) no contact ever, ever, ever with OW or it is over, no questons
> 2) this is one and only chance, never again or it is over, no questions
> 3) it is your right to check on him. if you find secrets, phones, messages, email or otherwise, it is over, no questions


Not to bring up my own marriage in someone else's thread, but what the heck -

This struck a nerve with me. My husband broke all three of these after I found out about the affair. His OW is his son's mother though, so the no contact thing gets dicey. Ergh!


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