# Love remains



## ferndog (Dec 2, 2011)

It's been a while since aug 2011 when my ex stopped believing and loving me and divorced me. I tried to tell her that I loved her more than she would ever imagine and to try and keep our promise of marriage but she didn't. I looked her in the eye and promised her that I would look at my faults and become a better man with her or without her. I know I have and yet know I still have to change a few things and I am doing so. I have tried dating a few times but It never fills my soul. 
I still have mixed feelings somedays. 
They range from I'm glad she told me she doesn't love me than for me to live a lie 
To how can she just give up on me like if I'm worthless. 

I tried to rationalize it by saying you can't make someone love you it's not her fault. But a friend told me it is her fault cause she let it happen. She allowed herself to fall out of love without telling me.

I feel so lonely somedays an others I enjoy my company. Some days it feels so cold at night other days .

I do ok until I really sit and think and my eyes water. To be with one person for 20 years from 14-35 is all I've ever known. 

I hope one day I can just stop loving the memory of who she was. 

Still not sure how people just divorce like nothing. Smh .

Kinda scared to open up again. I always knew my love was faithful just have to one day realize i did all I could and try to find love again. Although I truly doubt it will be easy 

Oh gee ladies (her nickname ) how you chattered my heart you'll never know
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

FernDog I know the feeling all to well. Yes love is a choice, and once they stop choosing to love you there isn't anything you can do. It is the saddest thing to be abandonded and made to feel worthless. 

I understand about loving the memory of who ex wife was too. But they are gone now. They are cold, empty shells of who they once were, the girls we loved deeply and would have loved forever. The girls we asked to marry.

Don't rush on love. Divorce is such a devastating blow that you should take as long as you need (years even) to forget her. 

After a while (6 months divorced here, almost 2 years of EXW moving interstate), sometimes I look back and have a little giggle of what she was like, the fun we had. But it is in the past; again, the girls we loved so very much are gone now, it is truly like a death. But this is a good way to think about it, as strange as it sounds.

I wish you the best. Stay strong.

If the future, in good time, you will be loved.


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