# Wanting to keep the house after decree said we were to sell it.



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

My divorce was final sept 6th. Ex and I agreed to list the house by Aug 30th and then I was to move out Sept 30th. Well, we are both still here and the House isn?t listed. Also, during our divorce precedings I was unemployed. Which is why I didn?t want to move out until house was listed - needed financial security and equity. He has done nothing to help get house ready and I?ve busted my ass. He even cancelled his appointment with the realor. I now have a good paying job and wanting to know if it?s possible for me to ask to have the House (he moves out now) and buy him out, or agree on a new sale date then split the equity. He filed contempt of court against me for not vacating - and I countered with my reasoning (financial and house not being up for sale). Our hearing is in December.


----------



## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Surely you have an attorney you can ask these questions.

Sure, he can agree to anything if it's worth his while. Send him an offer and see what he says...


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Ask your attorney.
Do you have children? That will help your case. {keeping the house}


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

The attorney I had during the divorce I am done with. I wasn?t happy with her anyway. So no I don?t have one but am making calls to get one ASAP. And yes I have 2 girls and they love their home. I have been bullied by his threats to call the police and have me evicted, he is awful to me and I have to get ready to fight. Problem is he has all these text messages from our fights and saying he is going to use them all against me. Sucks.


----------



## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

He can't kick you our of your home his threats are just that threats, I would ignore him and pursue getting a new lawyer.

I'm glad you are getting another attorney, sounds like you really need one. 

You can offer to buy him out, but he will have to agree. Would you be able to get a loan in your name only? because that is what it will take to buy him out.


----------



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

harrismk said:


> My divorce was final sept 6th. Ex and I *agreed to list the house by Aug 30th* and then* I was to move out Sept 30th*. Well, we are both still here and the House isn?t listed. Also, during our divorce precedings I was unemployed. Which is why I didn?t want to move out until house was listed - needed financial security and equity. He has done nothing to help get house ready and I?ve busted my ass. He even cancelled his appointment with the realor. I now have a good paying job and wanting to know if it?s possible for me to ask to have the House (he moves out now) and buy him out, or agree on a new sale date then split the equity. He filed contempt of court against me for not vacating - and I countered with my reasoning (financial and house not being up for sale). Our hearing is in December.


 @harrismk, 

I am not dead positive, but it sounds like your divorce decree ORDERS that the marital house be listed by August 30th and also orders that you vacate the home by September 30th. Those are two diffrent parts of the decree, and they are ordered by the court. 

It sounds to me like you worked to get the house ready for listing, but your exH did not do his share and has not yet listed it. On this part, you have done what the judge, and the court ordered of you. It sounds as if your exH has NOT done what the judge, and the court ordered of him. Therefore, the proper steps to take to make him list the home would be to file a motion of contempt of court against your husband. Please note that all this will do is that the court will force him to list it for sale. 

It also sounds to me like you have not vacated the marital home. On this part, you have NOT done what the judge, and the court ordered of you. Thus, the proper steps to take would indeed be to file a motion of contempt of court against you so that the judge forces you to folow his/her orders. 

The fact that your exH did not follow the court's orders to list the house does not justify you also not following the court's orders. What you want to do is to follow your divorce decree 100% and then you can go before the judge and say, "Judge, I obeyed the court--ExH did not! Please enforce your order." and you look like the cooperative, sane one. 

My advice to you would be to find a rental--maybe a 6 month lease to give you some time to get the house sold, go to court if you have to, and get your equity squared away. If you do not move out, the judge can declare unlawful detainer which forces you to move on VERY quickly and may even order that you pay your spouse reparations for attorney fees, court costs and "damages" for the days past Sept. 30th! 

If your exH does not sell the house, the judge can order that the house be put into receivership and will appoint an agent and order the agent to list it and sell it. Then s/he would order that your exH pay attorney fees and court costs, and if he doesn't sell it and postpones and puts it off...the judge can order that he not only pay you your equity but interest on that amount also! 

So DO YOUR SIDE OF THE ORDER. Look for someplace to move and start packing. Chances are that your exH will look foolish if you go to court in December and demonstrate that you were ordered to move out Sept. 30th but due to job/payroll/finance issues you moved out 1 month late. At this point, you are almost a month past your court ordered move out date, so get moving and no more excuses!

COMPLETELY SEPARATE (do not mix the two in your mind), once you are out of the marital home, moving on your own life and home, and following all the rest of the divorce decree....THEN figure out if exH is not following the part he's supposed to do. First officially notify him he's not obeying the decree and give him X number of days to comply. Then, officially give him at least two other alternatives he could do within X number of days to comply. THEN you file contempt of court for him failing to follow the court order and just show the court that you waited, you asked him to reply, and you gave him reasonable alternatives. The court will enforce it--not YOU!


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Could you wait until its listed and then make an offer.


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

Update. He filed contempt of on me because I was not out of house by sept. 30th. So I had to contest that and say I didn?t get out bc our house is still not on market and bc I didn?t have a paycheck until oct 20th. And so I filed contempt on him for not doing anything to get the house on market. I did have a consult with an attorney, she looked over my decree and said he is in contempt on several things like he is not keeping the house show ready etc. Also he is in contempt bc he was ordered to provide health insurance for our daughters which he never did. And a couple minor things. So when he found out I did all that at the court - he filed for an emergency eviction! The hearing is in 12 Days. I?m nervous bc I don?t know what?s going to happen. He is threatening me to no end. I will have to pay the attorney a retainer and have her go to bat for me, I will get her feedback Monday. I can?t belive he would do this. I?m the mother! And he?s been gone for a month and does nothing around here. I am packing In case and have a record of the places I looked to rent, plus a record of all the stuff I did at the house. I?m worn out. Any helpful advice???? I?m so stressed and scared. And my daughters will be a mess.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Could you clarify?

You are still living in the house.

He is not living in the house, right?

Couldn't you just give him an offer to buy him out on the house?


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Could you clarify?
> 
> You are still living in the house.
> 
> ...


We are both in the house! I tried to buy him out he says no. I have a good paying job and my mom could live with me temoraritly and we would list in the spring... He is being controlling and intimidating. And he said he sent all these texts and pictures from the past 2 years of things ive done. Im like we are divorced what will that do. Now I have to dig all that **** up on him. Im furious! All I want is to have the house for 4 month then list it and he moves out. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER SIGNED THE PAPERS AGREEING TO HIS DEMANDS. One week after our D I got a really good paying job and begged him to let me stay. Now I dont know what he has up his sleeve on me.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

harrismk said:


> We are both in the house! I tried to buy him out he says no. I have a good paying job and my mom could live with me temoraritly and we would list in the spring... He is being controlling and intimidating. And he said he sent all these texts and pictures from the past 2 years of things ive done. Im like we are divorced what will that do. Now I have to dig all that **** up on him. Im furious! All I want is to have the house for 4 month then list it and he moves out. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER SIGNED THE PAPERS AGREEING TO HIS DEMANDS. One week after our D I got a really good paying job and begged him to let me stay. Now I dont know what he has up his sleeve on me.


*Have your attorney offer for you to buy your H out at the hearing. Since your financial situation has drastically changed, the court would certainly not be adverse to hearing about this new information. After which your H’s attorney would be asked if he objected, and if so, on what grounds! If they offer any, it will be flimsy at best!

The Courts primary interest in this matter is not necessarily in trying to screw somebody over, but much rather in getting this case equitably moved along as soon as possible, and without delay! 

After making this announcement to the court, do not be surprised if the court ultimately decides to assign a neutral mediator to handle the merits of the case! *


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

Well the problem is my credit is poor so I couldn?t re if. I?m concerned about the court dates, bc I and under the impression that it is solely focusing on the situation with the house in light of the new information. However this set him off so bad he is psycho! He has printed off for his lawyer 100 texts (so he says) of all our fights and nasty messages to each other. I have stuff on him too but it?s exhausting to try and dig it all up. Now I?m wondering what he will do....


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

Anyone?


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I don't understand what all your texts, no matter how nasty/mean/vulgar/whatever...have to do with you being evicted. 

I THINK...if you cannot refinance the house, then he doesn't have to let you stay there and I don't know why the court would allow it. Part of the divorce is to separate assets and debts.... selling the house is part of that. Depending on how much work the house needs to get ready, it's to your benefit that it gets done, even if you are the one doing the work. 

Can you afford a two bedroom apartment? 

Be prepared to move out. Have a plan B. Be in charge of your life.


----------



## FUTRISBRITE (Nov 6, 2017)

Any texts from the past that show you both fighting, won't have any bearing on how the courts would handle the transfer of the house. Obviously you fought and didn't get along with your ex. That's why he's your ex! Is there any text that would prove you to be an unfit homeowner?? If the answer is no, completely disregard this text nonsense. It's creating stress and drama that has nothing to do with this situation!

You need to focus on what you need to do in order to obtain the house for you and your daughters. Here's what the courts would look at:

Your ability to buy him out.

Your ability to pay for the house going forward.

The major advantage of creating stability for your kids by keeping them in their home(and all of the advantages that go along with that- same schools, same friends/support systems) and preventing further distress post divorce!

Talk to a lawyer asap, and get the process to buy the home going! Like tomorrow.


----------



## tom72 (Nov 4, 2017)

harrismk said:


> Anyone?


Perhaps it's best to ignore anything he says and let it go through the lawyers?

IMO, you should talk some times out to see the kids, pack their bags and go live at your mothers if you feel so threatened. Seems like it's just going to go in circles until the court decides what's best. Focus your time on Plan B and your children. The rest will fall into place, just need to ignore his behaviour, your allowing him to continue it


----------



## ZedZ (Feb 6, 2017)

As far as I know texts mean crap these days...only verifiable facts count...IMO...


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How much equity is there in the house?


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

55k - 60k


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

Update #2 . So our courtdate is set for Dec 18th. We both filed comtempt on each other. In the meantime I have packed and do have a place set up to move if that is what the judge decides. Ironicallly after I filed contempt for not listing the house, he agreed to meet with our realtor (how ironic). So the realtor is drafting a document and we will look it over an sign. 

Because I did this - he got really irate and went to court to file EMERGENCY EVICTION - based on really I dont know - he took a took a picture of an empty wine bottle and other pics of the house when it was messy to say I couldnt take care of it. And he say he has 100 texts over the past 2 years that dont put me in a positive light. I think (and my lawyer thinks he is grasping at straws). 

My lawyer cant be at the emergency hearing - which is Nov 14th - and is trying to get it to coincide with the hearing that is already in place which is Dec 18th. 

It is so exhausting and I wish we could do this ourselves. 

I do have stuff against him but what does it matter - if will be he said she said.

My concern now is this "emergency hearing" . I am prepared to move quickly if judge says, but would rather wait til it sells or at least January (after the holidays). 

What do you think will happen?


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Well, either you will get what you want....or you won't. Those are the two possible outcomes. At least you are prepared for it to go either way. 

Have you been to the bank to see if you can get the financing to buy the house?

Will you be able to afford the mortgage payment, utilities, etc.... in case the court allows you to stay for some time?


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

SunnyT said:


> Well, either you will get what you want....or you won't. Those are the two possible outcomes. At least you are prepared for it to go either way.
> 
> Have you been to the bank to see if you can get the financing to buy the house?
> 
> Will you be able to afford the mortgage payment, utilities, etc.... in case the court allows you to stay for some time?


Financing no, not for a few months until my credit improve. Affording it yes, becasue my mother would move in and help with bills.


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

This is a tough one. Because the divorce is final and it's already been through the court. 

It's understandable, what you want. And MAYBE a judge will go for it in the interest of the kids. But I'd probably ask for the house until the kids get out of school for the summer, so that you could relocate them then instead of in the middle of the year. Even if they stay in the same school district, having to leave their home and start over is tough on them.... and a judge might cut you some slack there. 

Or they might say it's a done deal already, just sell it, split the costs and go your separate ways. 

Why the order for you to leave? Why aren't you at LEAST allowed to stay until it sells? 

What does your attorney think will happen?


----------



## David51 (Sep 12, 2017)

You are right not to move but should prepared to do so. How many times have you seen men and or women ordered to pay child support and then not do it and have to be dragged back into court multiply times to comply. You can claim that it is him that messes the house up so it isn’t fit to list. Once you move out and he refuses to move out then it becomes a civil matter and then what? It doesn’t sound to me by what you have written that he is anymore interested in leaving than you re are.
Which one of you will have primary custody of the children? Are the children his children?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

We both have legal joint and physical custody. 

He wants to stay until the house sells, and wants me out now. 

I guess its up to the judge but I think its unreasonable to uproot the kids. And I hate the fact that he is bullying me.


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

SunnyT said:


> This is a tough one. Because the divorce is final and it's already been through the court.
> 
> It's understandable, what you want. And MAYBE a judge will go for it in the interest of the kids. But I'd probably ask for the house until the kids get out of school for the summer, so that you could relocate them then instead of in the middle of the year. Even if they stay in the same school district, having to leave their home and start over is tough on them.... and a judge might cut you some slack there.
> 
> ...


At the time of the divorce I was unemployeed. About 2 weeks after after looking for a decent paying job I got one. I agreed to move out 30 days after the house was listed becasue he would be paying the morgage and utilities. But - things have changed so I am in a better position to stay.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

harrismk said:


> We both have legal joint and physical custody.
> 
> He wants to stay until the house sells, and wants me out now.
> 
> I guess its up to the judge but I think its unreasonable to uproot the kids. And I hate the fact that he is bullying me.


The fact is, you are in contempt. You can give all kinds of reasons for why you are still there, the fact is that you are STILL in contempt. You BOTH are, since the house still is not listed as was agreed and ordered. If you didn't want to move the kids, that should have been taken into account during your divorce proceedings. You are likely going to have to file for a whole new motion if you think you want to stay in the house now, everything will need to be revised.


----------



## leon2100 (May 13, 2015)

you got a divorce... your ex has had to get a court order to get you out of the house... you fired the attorney you don't like... and you come here to get "free advice" on a legal matter?

Perhaps the ex and the attorney could come on here and give us more information.


----------



## harrismk (Mar 17, 2016)

Wow just wow. I do have an attorney, she is in mediation today so I can?t contact her. And my ex has decided not to use an attorney on this matter.


----------

