# Can't Last With Oral Sex?



## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

With PIV sex I can typically last until my wife has a vaginal orgasm (10-15 minutes of continuous thrusting), if I had a glass of wine or two I can last 30 minutes if I needed to. But with oral sex I can't last 2 minutes. Does anyone else have this issue? I love getting oral sex, but it kills it when I can't hold back. I'm not sure what it is, it doesn't happen with sex or her hands, just her mouth. Is there anyway to slow it down or control it?


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Have her do it after you have already finished once some other way.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> Is there anyway to slow it down or control it?


Have you tried talking to your spouse and asking her to help you with this?

If you have problems in your marriage and she wants to avoid intimacy, she may be purposely making you finish fast as a way to get out of doing other things. Or she may enjoy making this happen fast as it is a very validating experience for her. Either way you probably will not be able to change this situation without communicating with your spouse, talking with her about why it happens and then work on it together.


----------



## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Most of the time if its stand alone oral, Im sure my wife would wish I could go quicker. Definitely not slower

As others have said why not try to finish this way if your wife is open to it (mine isnt as I would have to wash "him off after PiV)

I dont really see the problem otherwise. Wouldnt be one for me if my wife went super fast from oral. Just give her multiples Os and help the ole ego out at the same time.


----------



## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

I have the same problem! First time my wife said she wanted to do oral on me, and let me cum in her mouth, I almost didn't get in her mouth and BLAMO! 

My solution? I don't stop at just one orgasm! Plenty to do after while you recharge! (Like oral on her!)


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> With PIV sex I can typically last until my wife has a vaginal orgasm (10-15 minutes of continuous thrusting), if I had a glass of wine or two I can last 30 minutes if I needed to. But with oral sex I can't last 2 minutes. Does anyone else have this issue? I love getting oral sex, but it kills it when I can't hold back. I'm not sure what it is, it doesn't happen with sex or her hands, just her mouth. Is there anyway to slow it down or control it?


Where does it say you have to stop at one ejaculation.Give it a few minutes (maybe go down on her) and then start again.


----------



## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

I don't stop with one, I'm typically good for at least 2, 3-4 in my younger days.

But I would like to be able to sit back for 5-10 minutes and enjoy a nice long blowjob instead of popping in 1-2 minutes.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> I would like to be able to sit back for 5-10 minutes and enjoy


If you just want to make that happen without any need to talk to your wife, try changing your diet and exercise to things that actually help lower your testosterone. Read up on things men do to increase testosterone and just do the opposite. Lowering testosterone levels will help greatly reduce sensitivity so you can last longer.


----------



## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> I don't stop with one, I'm typically good for at least 2, 3-4 in my younger days.
> 
> But I would like to be able to sit back for 5-10 minutes and enjoy a nice long blowjob instead of popping in 1-2 minutes.


Don't know about you, but each subsequent O after my first one, it takes longer to get there. 
As long as your wife doesn't have a problem with 'what has been where', it should work! It works for me! Some wives are not too keen about tasting themselves. Lucky for me, mine is turned on by it! 

If it ain't workin'.....try something else! Nothing ventured, nothing gained....simple as that.


----------



## leon2100 (May 13, 2015)

Oral Sex? what's that? Been so long since I've had any that I have no experience as to what you should do!


----------



## David Darling (Oct 22, 2016)

Just be grateful your wife has such great technique!

I read somewhere that many men have difficulty cumming with pure oral, requiring some hand action as well.


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Humble brag.

I can last long and get blow jobs


----------



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I have sort of the opposite problem. I had been conditioned for so long that women just didn't like it, that I have to just push the negatives out of my mind and just enjoy it. My GF likes to do it, she says she could do it all day. So I have had to come full circle on the issue. But I'll take one for the team and try to relearn my negative thoughts


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Ynot said:


> I have sort of the opposite problem. I had been conditioned for so long that women just didn't like it, that I have to just push the negatives out of my mind and just enjoy it. My GF likes to do it, she says she could do it all day. So I have had to come full circle on the issue. But I'll take one for the team and try to relearn my negative thoughts


Come full circle.......

Really


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Is oral sex when you talk about it?


----------



## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Try switching between oral and then cowgirl, works here.


----------



## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

Marc878 said:


> Is oral sex when you talk about it?


That would be aural sex.

(Insert groans here)


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> I don't stop with one, I'm typically good for at least 2, 3-4 in my younger days.
> 
> But I would like to be able to sit back for 5-10 minutes and enjoy a nice long blowjob instead of popping in 1-2 minutes.


*Try learning not to focus on it so much, taking things nice and slow!

Yours truly is pretty much the opposite from you. While oral is a fantastic warm-up ritual, there is absolutely nothing better in all of this world than finally getting down to the “real deal!”

Second place preeminently goes to the performance of a rather heated and elongated, “lockjaw” session of oral on her!*


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Y'all really gonna complain about how amazing your wife's head game is? 

Get yourself a chitty blow job. Matter of fact live your life with chitty blow jobs like most men do and come back here and read your post again OP. 

I find it interesting how many women complain about men's oral sex skills and 90% of men out there getting sub par head and don't say anything about it. 

Count your lucky stars OP. The hell are you complaining about?


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

I'm not sure what the big deal is either, but everybody wants sex differently.

When I get oral as foreplay (never standalone :| ) I have to put a stop to it before I finish. Usually ~2 minutes. I would say that's quite normal, TBH. Definitely not out of the ordinary, anyway.

As for PIV, 2-5 minutes is normal and reasonable.

I used to think that staying power was a positive, but I've learned over the years that is generally not the case. That said, it's obviously ideal if you can outlast your partner, so YMMV. If she takes 15 minutes to O, and so do you - great! If she's capable of multiples, and you can take 15 minutes - great! If she's done after 5, and you're still going - not always so great!

Apart from attempting to line up times with your partner, I've found that many women like it when you don't hold back. Within reason, of course. My wife, for example, can have many O's, but doesn't always want to. There are definitely times when she's far more excited if I _don't_ spend 10 minutes+ thrusting away.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

MrsHolland said:


> Try switching between oral and then cowgirl, works here.


Some individuals are not comfortable switching back to oral after penetration. While I do not know if the OP has this problem it is rather common among those that are not fully comfortable with their bodies. 

If the OP feels as though once oral ends and they proceed with other things that coming back for more oral can not happen, this dynamic can create all sorts of problems. If so, this could be creating anxiety that perhaps is causing him to finish faster than desired. As in, "when this stops you can't have anymore" which perhaps is making oral too exciting.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> With PIV sex I can typically last until my wife has a vaginal orgasm (10-15 minutes of continuous thrusting), if I had a glass of wine or two I can last 30 minutes if I needed to. But with oral sex I can't last 2 minutes.


Giving or receiving? 
This brought memories of first time I thought about GIVING oral to my now wife when I was 16 or so. We were on the train and the thought and desire was so overpowering that...well the rest is history (and a wet stain somewhere on the London tube as I left the train in shame).



marriageontherocks2 said:


> Does anyone else have this issue? I love getting oral sex, but it kills it when I can't hold back. I'm not sure what it is, it doesn't happen with sex or her hands, just her mouth. Is there anyway to slow it down or control it?



With time, you will ‘get used to it’ more. As long as you keep getting it, you will learn to control it.
Think of her mother or your next tax return next time until you master the Jedi techniques.





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> Try switching between oral and then cowgirl, works here.



Do you have to bring your own cowgirl for the oral?  



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> Some individuals are not comfortable switching back to oral after penetration. While I do not know if the OP has this problem it is rather common among those that are not fully comfortable with their bodies.
> 
> If the OP feels as though once oral ends and they proceed with other things that coming back for more oral can not happen, this dynamic can create all sorts of problems. If so, this could be creating anxiety that perhaps is causing him to finish faster than desired. As in, "when this stops you can't have anymore" which perhaps is making oral too exciting.


*Let’s just say that as far as good loving sex goes, just as long as I haven’t “done my thing” in her, then I don’t mind, in the least, vacillating back and forth between performing/receiving oral and PIV!*


----------



## DaveinOC (Oct 15, 2017)

Is this a problem? I am actually envious of that lol. I can't say I have ever popped one during oral with pure mouth action. Combination with handy yes, but never with just mouth. 

Anyhow, I've heard lotta male pornstars do this before prepping for shooting, but if you jerk it like an hour or two before sex without ejaculating (but getting pretty close to), you actually last much longer when you do it.


----------



## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *Let’s just say that as far as good loving sex goes, just as long as I haven’t “done my thing” in her, then I don’t mind, in the least, vacillating back and forth between performing/receiving oral and PIV!*


Well, Mrs. Lurkster orgasms better, like a _lot_ better, if I do oral on her after I have "done my thing in her". Or....on her for that matter.

So, I like to please her, so that's what I do!


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Lurkster said:


> Well, Mrs. Lurkster orgasms better, like a _lot_ better, if I do oral on her after I have "done my thing in her". Or....on her for that matter.
> 
> So, I like to please her, so that's what I do!


*And there is nothing remotely wrong with that! On occasion, if either of my ex-wives or lovers were still “randy” in desiring additional oral right after having had PIV and I had “done my thing” in them, I would simply help clean them up before going down on them once again!

And it was never a problem to speak of for me!*


----------



## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *And there is nothing remotely wrong with that! On occasion, if my wives were still “randy” in desiring additional oral right after having had PIV and I had “done my thing” in them, I would simply help clean them up before going down on them once again!
> 
> It was never a problem to speak of for me!*


All a matter of whatever works!
And of course, one's willingness to appreciate that past the point of ickyness! 

My bride, wants no cleanup to be done, other than by me! And I'm not talking a towel! :smile2:
_She_ is the kinky one!


----------



## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> With PIV sex I can typically last until my wife has a vaginal orgasm (10-15 minutes of continuous thrusting), if I had a glass of wine or two I can last 30 minutes if I needed to. But with oral sex I can't last 2 minutes. Does anyone else have this issue? I love getting oral sex, but it kills it when I can't hold back. I'm not sure what it is, it doesn't happen with sex or her hands, just her mouth. Is there anyway to slow it down or control it?


Why is this even a problem????


----------



## drewg350 (Oct 14, 2017)

I wish that was my problem. I rarely ever get off when getting a BJ. Doesn't matter how good it is. I just can't get off. PIV or anal work's without any issue's. My wife gets a bit dejected because she thinks it's her fault, but I tell her it's not her, it's me. Another issue I have is getting off first thing in the morning. I always wake up rock hard, crazy hard, and my wife thinks I'm all horny and will jump on me. But I rarely can orgasm. I can go for awhile, but instead of cumming, I'll lose my erection over time. I have no idea why. Even if I try and her off, I have a very hard time cumming, if I even can. Any other time during the day or night, no problems. If I wait an hour or two after waking up, no problem. But I just have a very difficult time, if not impossible time, cumming upon waking up in the morning. This also gets my wife feeling dejected thinking it's her. I told her, honey, it's not you. It's me. Not sure why this is. It's been this way most of my life so it's not something that has crept up on me along with my age.


----------



## greenekat (Oct 27, 2017)

marriageontherocks2 said:


> With PIV sex I can typically last until my wife has a vaginal orgasm (10-15 minutes of continuous thrusting), if I had a glass of wine or two I can last 30 minutes if I needed to. But with oral sex I can't last 2 minutes. Does anyone else have this issue? I love getting oral sex, but it kills it when I can't hold back. I'm not sure what it is, it doesn't happen with sex or her hands, just her mouth. Is there anyway to slow it down or control it?


My boyfriend is the exact same. Great stamina when it comes to PIV sex, but when he's in my mouth, he orgasms in mere minutes. But that's okay! The key is all about the timing/planning. Here's what my boyfriend and I do:

He goes down on me, until I reach my orgasm. This gets him aroused and then I go down on him, but NOT to completion. Just enough to get him nice and ready for PIV sex. We have PIV sex and both orgasm together. If he doesn't, then I go down on him. 

Sometimes in order to not cum so soon when I'm giving him a bj, he'll focus on talking to me, or spelling out my name letter by letter. He's "taking his mind off" but still in the moment. 

But I wouldn't feel bad about it. To be honest, when he cums fast it gives me a huge ego boost. It makes me feel like he can't control himself when he's in my mouth.


----------



## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

I can't finish from oral either, u go figure.....PIV much quicker...I think I read men tend to finish quicker from oral because they are more relaxed and not having to perform pounding away.

Sent from my BTV-W09 using Tapatalk


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

CantBelieveThis said:


> I can't finish from oral either, u go figure.....PIV much quicker...I think I read men tend to finish quicker from oral because they are more relaxed and not having to perform pounding away.
> 
> Sent from my BTV-W09 using Tapatalk




I think it’s the ‘novelty’ of it. With time, you get used to it (though still feels great but you don’t finish in three seconds anymore).


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Marc878 said:


> Is oral sex when you talk about it?


Yeah...

... and even by that definition, far too infrequent:frown2:


----------



## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Wear a condom during oral sex.

There is numbing cream specifically for the penis for just the situation described, but your wife may not like the taste.

Use the cream, and put a condom over it?

Just some ideas. Good lick... er, I mean, good luck.


----------



## Volunteer86 (Aug 2, 2017)

I have the same problem, I normally have to make her stop if she is wanting PIV. I can't take it.


----------



## hailey_2009 (Nov 3, 2017)

I would never want my hubby to hold back an orgasm ... much more fun facing the challenge of teasing out the next one if I want more. 

And he seems less able to make a blowjob last if it is unexpected -- if I wake him up with it or pull him aside right before heading out the door somewhere. If it is all part of a more extended session, we just switch back and forth according to mood.


----------



## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

First, what you describe is normal. So, it seems to me you're saying you'd like longer oral sessions, but you orgasm so quickly that it's over before you've had enough time enjoying it. Which tells me that, for your individual responsiveness, what she's doing to you is too much continuous stimulation. 

First, I'd see if she can understand that you want more time in oral play. This is an area where caring couples discover what satisfies each other's needs and work on it. For instance, if she's basically bobbing like mad continuously, it's not too surprising you don't last. That's some pretty intense stimulation. 

Look, women aren't any smarter about sex than men. We think they're all sensitive and stuff and have highly developed sexual subtleties, but it just isn't necessarily so. She may think the only good blow job is an emulation of that 15 to 20 minutes of thrusting you describe. (More on that later.) But maybe you need to introduce her to the concept of edging. Essentially, you turn a blow job into a slow job. A little mouth. A little hand. A little suck. A little lick. Don't expect her to know it all. Help her out by telling her what's happening. "That's too intense. Stroke it a while.", etc. And/or pull her up to cowgirl you a bit and then back to oral. 

And as to that 15 to 20 minutes of continuous thrusting. Sounds boring. Boring as the two-minute BJ. Do some change-ups on her, too, just to help her get the idea.


----------



## Trieste (Nov 28, 2017)

Marc878 said:


> Is oral sex when you talk about it?


Yes, but it is easier for me to talk when I am giving it than her.


----------



## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

/


----------

