# Baby Making....



## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

I have been married for almost 4 years and been with my man for almost 7 years. Wonderful loving relationship. Both have good jobs, I'm almost done with school, and we are in the process of buying our first home together (been renting our apartment for 4 years eek lol.) Anyways I got off my pill last Dec and we have been actively trying since like beginning of Feb....and still aunt flow comes by....it's so aggravating since I really want a baby and it sucks seeing everyone around me getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them all, I just don't get why it's not happening for us...and it's stressing me out! My hubby tries to be supportive and be like "till next time." My worst fear is I am infertile, but they say to wait a year before really worrying...but I can't help it...I thought it would be easier than this....anyone else going through something similar? If you read this whole thing then bless you!!! 

Danielle


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Danielle: I'm an old fart, but I fondly think back to when my first wife was trying to get pregnant. See the movie, She's Having a Baby with Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern, as it's a carbon copy of exactly what we endured. Let me tell you, I experienced it all!

Just continue to see your GYN, follow their instructions to the letter, keep taking your ovulation temp, and just force your hubby into sexual relations in the wee hours of the morning or while he is at work, making him drive an hour back home for an afternoon delight, and then you'll know what I endured.

But truth be known, I enjoyed every single minute of it and have two wonderful, college-aged sons to show for it all!


----------



## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

See chart and discussion here:

Probability of pregnancy by age : Gene Expression

You didn't mention your age, but you've only really tried 3 or 4 cycles. Probably nothing to worry about at this point.


----------



## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

I'm 25, not overweight or underweight. I eat decently and run around a lot so I get exercise..


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Danielle, try getting a basal body thermometer and keep track of your temperature as soon as you wake in the morning. And I mean AS SOON AS you wake (at the same time everyday). Before you even sit up, get the thermometer and take your temp. And chart it. Keep track of that. It will show you when you ovulate in your cycle...or even IF you ovulate. This will help in your TTC. Plus, it will be something tangible you can show to your GYN. There are a few other things you can do as well, but start there. I did that with my last two. First child was a surprise immediately after a miscarriage, second was planned using charting...and the last one wasn't an "actively trying", but "I want to keep track"... Hope that helps!


----------



## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

I am 50. When first married wife was on pill. After a couple years we decided to start a family, so she quit taking them. A year later nothing had "took". We began the MMMABP*, three months later we were pregnant! 2nd child took two months of trying, third daughter was just one night! Don't give up, don't worry, just enjoy the process!
*Modified Manier Make A Baby Program. Where you have sex every other day, until successful! Named after a friend of mine who when trying to start a family was on a everyday "grind". I determined he was so abused he was shooting blanks! Thus the "modified"


----------



## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Unless there's actually a medical issue (which usually they won't even start looking for until after a year of no success) - as I understand it, the best chance of success comes from:

Have LOTS of sex.

Basically, you can't have too much. don't worry about body thermometers, or counting days, or holding back to increace counts, or whatever. The male body generates more sperm if what's there has been used (full reload every 12 hours, approx, if it's being used) and it only takes one, after all. You can get pregnant from sex and almost any time - which is why the rythm method is so unreliable.

So don't worry about, just find any and every excuse to get between the sheets (on on the sofa, or the kitchen table, or the hall floor, or - you get the picture) - and honestly what excuses do you need? Just enjoy the extra frisson of thinking 'maybe this will be the time!' - it does add an extra something 

Oh, and you having orgasms helps too - opens and extends the cervix to improve uptake, so don't skimp on that


----------



## wifeandmummy (Aug 20, 2012)

I did temping/charting and ovulation predictor kits when we were TTC to pinpoint ovulation and then sex daily when you either read the signs of impending ovulation or you get a + ovulation test!! Read taking charge of your fertility its a fabulous book!  Good luck.


----------



## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Rags said:


> Have LOTS of sex.


:iagree:

That and keep a healthy attitude about it. Stress in either of you doesn't help.


----------



## eves (May 21, 2013)

For our first child it took us 6-7 months. Of course the fact that my wife only let bus try 1-3 times a month didn't help. For our second I think we tried for about two days and my wife knew she was pregnant. Really disappointing it happened so quickly that second time cause I was enjoying that weekend immensely.

Just have tons of fun sex and it will come


----------



## Cwtchbunny (May 20, 2013)

Both times I got pregnant it happened the first month we tried, with my second baby we only had sex once that month 

A few tricks I have leant 

Keep an eye on when you ovulate, it was easy for me as the EWCM was literally pouring out of me (tmi) and I was horny as hell but as someone else said you can keep an eye on your temperature to see when you ovulate 

If you don't have much EWCM try taking evening primrose oil before you ovulate, that should help increase it


----------



## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Danielle, you have already gotten some great advice, but I will add one more. I know it is hard, but try to relax. Stressing over getting pregnant can hinder getting pregnant. I don't know how many couples I have heard about who gave up, adopted, then got pregnant! So have fun, have lots of sex, concentrate on making love to your wonderful man! Most likely it will happen.


----------



## RaisedGarden (Oct 24, 2012)

romantic_guy said:


> Danielle, you have already gotten some great advice, but I will add one more. I know it is hard, but try to relax. Stressing over getting pregnant can hinder getting pregnant. I don't know how many couples I have heard about who gave up, adopted, then got pregnant! So have fun, have lots of sex, concentrate on making love to your wonderful man! Most likely it will happen.



This is the truth. I run a lab at a fertility center. When you are stressed your cortisol levels end up being elevated. When your cortisol levels are higher your immune system is depressed and other secondary biological processes are affected. Your chances of pregnancy are severely curtailed by stress(evolutionary it didn't make sense to get knocked up when you were likely to die before passing on your genes). I have seen patient after patient come through my doors and try for years to have a child. They finally say that they are going to take a breather and call us a month or two later to tell us they are pregnant on their own. You should also consider having a quick workup for your husband and yourself to make sure that all is well for the two of you. Also if you are in need of a Reproductive Endocrinologist go on to Society for Assisted Reproductive Technologies and take a look for facilities around you and their success rates if it comes to that. Best of luck and calm down please


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Be patient it depends on what birth contol method you were using and how long you been on it. You can probably google the brand and check on the average time it takes a woman to become pregnate after taking the BC.


----------



## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Browneyedgurl020610 said:


> I have been married for almost 4 years and been with my man for almost 7 years. Wonderful loving relationship. Both have good jobs, I'm almost done with school, and we are in the process of buying our first home together (been renting our apartment for 4 years eek lol.) Anyways I got off my pill last Dec and we have been actively trying since like beginning of Feb....and still aunt flow comes by....it's so aggravating since I really want a baby and it sucks seeing everyone around me getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them all, I just don't get why it's not happening for us...and it's stressing me out! My hubby tries to be supportive and be like "till next time." My worst fear is I am infertile, but they say to wait a year before really worrying...but I can't help it...I thought it would be easier than this....anyone else going through something similar? If you read this whole thing then bless you!!!
> 
> Danielle


We were together for 15 year before having kids...married 10. So - she had been on the pill for a long time already and it just took a little time. I was getting near 40 she was 36ish. I think it took 7 or 8 months - but your results WILL vary. Thoughts of fertility actions are going through your mind and now that you are in the pool with both feet - you just want it to HAPPEN. I know, we were in the same place. 

It will happen. It will.

Let me tell you this... being in that part of your lives where you are young, have jobs, have both 'decided' to 'try' and have kids is perhaps one of the best times in your life. Really, it is. Dont sweat it, try and enjoy it. You are going to look back on this time with sweet, dewey-eyed fondness someday is my bet. I know you are eager but you have to trust that nature will take its course and that nothing is wrong.

So - when aunt flo comes for her next visit - try not to take it so hard, it isnt a failure. Enjoy each other - baby making on purpose can be really...really...uhm...satisfying, know what I mean? And...Lets face it - once you have a brood of pitter pattering little feet all over the house - you are going to (occasionally) long to have this time back.  This time that you are living through is like putting emotional cash into the bank of your relationship - use it to build your relationship up and try not to let the stress and worry work against you. Having kids is a lot of work so even though it may not seem that way - it really is 'the calm before the storm' so to speak.

Its frustrating because I bet you are simply crawling out of your skin wanting to start 'nesting' and planning a nursery and painting the new room, and buying booties thinking about names and wondering boy or girl... There will be plenty of time for that... dont rush it. Really. 

Good luck.


----------



## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> Danielle: I'm an old fart, but I fondly think back to when my first wife was trying to get pregnant....


see? people will keep saying this.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I know you'll look silly but after you receive your "deposit", lay on your back, grab your legs and lean your pelvis back for a few minutes, allow gravity to assist the sperm's journey towards your eggs


----------



## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

Also keep in mind that it might have nothing to do with you at all and he might have some kind of problem. When looking into infertility the man is the least expensive and easiest to diagnose if there is some kind of issue. My wife and I had the same problem and everybody was telling us "just relax and have lots of sex and enjoy the process", after a couple of years my wife's gyn sent me to a urologist where I was diagnosed with low testosterone and low sperm count as a result. Because my low sperm count was due to low testosterone he was able to put me on Clomid and after two months we easily conceived. My urologist thinks my low testosterone was due to working with some dangerous chemical while I was working at a printing shop at nights while going to college. Anyways, its a relatively easy and inexpensive thing to check.


----------



## Work-In-Progress (May 21, 2013)

Similar story here. We tried for over 2 years. We saw a fertility specialist like after a year, don't remember really what happened with that. She got pregnant but lost it after just a month. Finally after another year I got off my butt and had my sperm tested. Found out it was really low and slow. I forget the term, but I had what is similar to varicose veins in my testicles. I had surgery for that and ended up getting pregnant within a month.


----------



## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

Browneyedgurl020610 said:


> Anyways I got off my pill last Dec and we have been actively trying since like beginning of Feb....and still aunt flow comes by....it's so aggravating since I really want a baby and it sucks seeing everyone around me getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them all, I just don't get why it's not happening for us...and it's stressing me out! My hubby tries to be supportive and be like "till next time." My worst fear is I am infertile, but they say to wait a year before really worrying...but I can't help it...I thought it would be easier than this....anyone else going through something similar? If you read this whole thing then bless you!!!
> 
> Danielle


Danielle,

Don't stress. It's not good for your body or your emotional state. Worrying = stress. In addition, take solace in the fact that there are people that have it worse than you.

My wife and I have been trying for the last 3 years. In those years, we've suffered through 2 painful miscarriages while everyone around us has seemingly gotten pregnant with healthy terms, including her two irresponsible brothers that don't really deserve children. 

Additionally, she's had two operations: one to remove a baseball-sized cyst that was blocking one of her tubes and another smaller procedure (including a Chemotherapy shot) to expel the miscarriage material from her body. Now, we just learned that she has Thyroiditis, which jerks with her hormones and gives her Menopausal-like symptoms. The doctor told her that because her hormone levels are out of whack, she shouldn't attempt to have children in 6 months. Keep in mind, she's 38 and knows her biological clock is running out.

My wife is a good person, almost too good, and often asks me why this is happening to her. I have no answer, aside from $h!t seems to happen to good people and that life is never fair.


----------



## Laila8 (Apr 24, 2013)

It'll happen, hang in there. I was 27 when I first started trying, and it took DH and me 13 months. With baby number two, it took 8 months. If it doesn't happen in a year, you can get help from a fertility specialist.


----------



## KimatraAKM (May 1, 2013)

It took two years after stoping my pill to get pregnant the first time.. We did the OV test and that month we it pregnant.. Keep trying! The Second kid took us like 6 months to make without even trying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Browneyedgurl020610 said:


> I have been married for almost 4 years and been with my man for almost 7 years. Wonderful loving relationship. Both have good jobs, I'm almost done with school, and we are in the process of buying our first home together (been renting our apartment for 4 years eek lol.) Anyways I got off my pill last Dec and we have been actively trying since like beginning of Feb....and still aunt flow comes by....it's so aggravating since I really want a baby and it sucks seeing everyone around me getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them all, I just don't get why it's not happening for us...and it's stressing me out! My hubby tries to be supportive and be like "till next time." My worst fear is I am infertile, but they say to wait a year before really worrying...but I can't help it...I thought it would be easier than this....anyone else going through something similar? If you read this whole thing then bless you!!!
> 
> Danielle


First off, it can take up to about 5 cycles for your body to get back to "normal" after being on the pill, so you've only tried for a coupe cycles. That is no time at all.

Second, what you are you doing to try to get pregnant? Just having regular sex or charting? You can chart your basal body temperature and also track your cervical mucus(egg white cervical mucus = fertile) to find out when/if you are ovulating. Try to relax and enjoy it all.


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I put in 5 years to the trying to conceive. I know how disappointing it can be. You have those two weeks of optimism followed by several days of being depressed.

These days they have the Ovulation Tests, like a pregnancy test you take in the morning and it will tell you if you will ovulate in the next 24-48 hours. That can help narrow things down. 

I forget the odds exactly but they are overwhelmingly in your favor that you will be pregnant within a year of when you start trying. Kids are great and so is motherhood, but you can't un-ring that bell. There are many advantages to not being parents yet so hoping you can continue to enjoy those (sleeping in, late date nights, spontaneous trips) while you are trying.


----------



## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

After having been through fertility treatments for nearly 10 years before my wife was able to become pregnant and successfully deliver, I can tell you the main culprits in infertility (i.e. the majority of instances where there is no clear biological issue preventing pregnancy) are stress and micromanaging the process.

My wife and I tried for years, saw multiple reproductive endocrinologists, the whole shooting match so to speak.

Here is what stressed me out:

1.) Constant mental obsession with getting my wife pregnant.

2.) Having to perform at a moments notice precisely when she was ovulating.

3.) I seemed to be on a 4 month schedule of having to go to the lab and provide semen, this was awkward and stressful to me.

Here is what stressed my wife out:

1.) Her constant mental obsession with getting pregnant.

2.) Trips to multiple doctors all the time, especially the ones where we had to go immediately (within 24 hours) after sex to see if there were viable sperm cells in her vaginal secretions.

3.) Being constantly poked and prodded by medical people.

4.) Hormone injections into her midsection.

5.) Not having a clear medical explanation, and feeling like it was her fault.

Eventually, we took a break from all of that, and took a trip to Europe. Three weeks after returning from France, she was pregnant. Unfortunately, she had a miscarriage 10 weeks later.

We went back to fertility treatment as soon after her D&C as we could. Again, we were in a stressful environment, with her taking her temperature all the time, calling me at the office and insisting I rush home so we could have mechanical sex at exactly the right moment.

Again, this went on for a couple of years, we tried hormone injections, nothing worked. Our sex life was terrible, no passion, just trying to maximize fertility opportunities. She got to the point where she didn't want to have sex at all unless she was ovulating, it was all about having a baby, and not about us at all.

Eventually, we gave up on it, and decided to adopt. We went away on a long weekend to the beach. We went to a dinner party with friends, and we drank some very old and expensive Cognac, and got pretty tipsy. After the party, we went back to our hotel room, and we had some of the most passionate, uninihbited, mind-blowing sex we had ever had. We went at it for over an hour, she had multiple orgasms, perhaps 10 or 15 of them, and I had 2 or 3 of them. It was incredible!

A couple of weeks later I was at a meeting with the agency getting our adoption home study materials together when my wife called me, and said she was pregnant. She was able to get through her pregnancy, and deliver our son 9 months later. He is now a prefectly healthy 14 year old. We tried to have another child, but my wife ended up developing fibroid tumors after the pregnancy, and ended up having a radical hysterectomy, dashing all hopes of conceiving another biological child.

The message here is use ovulation as a general guide, but have lots of fun, passionate sex, and do it because it feels good and because you love your SO. Stress is the killer, just relax and f*ck each other's brains out, and good things will happen!

Good luck!


----------



## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

coupdegrace said:


> Danielle,
> 
> Don't stress. It's not good for your body or your emotional state. Worrying = stress. In addition, take solace in the fact that there are people that have it worse than you.
> 
> ...


 I'm sorry for you guys. I hope things get better *hugs*


----------



## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

With a perfectly healthy couple, with perfectly healthy reproductive systems, having sex with perfect timing...they still only have a 20-25% chance of conceiving on a particular month.

It takes some time. If you're under 35, give it a year. If you're 35 or over, give it 6 months.

I'm on Clomid now...been trying three years with one angel baby to show for it. Finally introducing the fertility meds...and guess what? I actually popped an egg this month. Yay!! 

I easily got pregnant with my first three.

Fertility is a funny thing. 

If you ever need advice, give me a PM. I honestly could stand in for a Reproductive Endocrinologist and nobody would ever know the difference  Women's health/fertility is one of my passions and has been for a very long time.

Keep your head up. And yes, do try not to stress. However, when people tell you not to stress...it tends to make you stress over not stressing right? lol So if you stress out a bit...so be it. Lots of babies have been conceived under stressful circumstances...it is not, by far, the main thing.

The first thing you need to do is pinpoint when YOU ovulate. Some women ovulate on day 8...others on day 25. Not every woman ovulates when the textbook says she should. There are really only a few days each month when sex can lead to pregnancy, so this is the first and most vital piece of knowledge you need in order to conceive. Both OPKs and basal body charting can get help you figure this out if you don't already know for sure. Also, body cues...where is your cervix? High or low? Is it soft or hard? Open or closed? Do you have fertile cervical mucous?

It can all be overwhelming at first, but it all makes sense soon enough. 

Best wishes!


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

SouthernMiss said:


> With a perfectly healthy couple, with perfectly healthy reproductive systems, having sex with perfect timing...they still only have a 20-25% chance of conceiving on a particular month.


So take 20% as an estimate, and assume independent statistics (the chance of getting pregnant one month is independent of any previous month).

After one month, your chances of NOT being pregnant are 80%. That's March. After two, your chances of NOT being pregnant are still 64%. That's April. By May, it's about 50-50. So after three full months, you still should expect to be pregnant only about half the time, all things being perfect. 

It's way too early to be getting alarmed.


----------



## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

SouthernMiss,

Where were you when I first came to TAM???? We could have use your expertise! LOL

OP, just don't give up. I came to TAM last November after giving up that we would ever have children (tried 4.5 years after the pill). I was looking for help with facing a childless marriage, because my husband was really, really not handling it well.

Around the holidays, he snapped out of it, we resigned ourselves to it, and even though we were still kind of sad we were getting more and more resigned to it as a childless couple. Sex became more of a comforting of each other and a way to stay connected to accept our fate. 

Then in December we got pregnant. I didn't find out until I was almost 3 months because I had two very light cycles. I just felt baby move for the first time this morning. Baby is due in September. 

So don't give up. By the way, after all the doctors, and proddings and tests and sex, sex, and more sex and temperature takings, no doctor could ever find anything wrong with either one of us. We did not take any medicines or treatments either.


----------



## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

Congratulations!! to committed4ever. Thank you to everyone. I have this period tracker on my phone that is supposed to let me know when I get my period and when I am supposedly ovulating. It's pretty dead set on when I get my period so I just assumed it was right on when I ovulate. Who knows. I probably wont buy any kits until if nothing happens after a year. I'm going to hope for the best. I's just hard hearing everyone around you talk about their pregnancies when I wish I could join them lol. Anywho, baby dust to me! And just going to keep trying to have lots and lots of sex, even though sometimes it's a bit difficult with our opposite schedules at times. Oh well. Going to keep at it and try not to lose hope. I "should be getting my period in like 5 days but I really really hope not.


----------



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Browneyedgurl020610 said:


> I have been married for almost 4 years and been with my man for almost 7 years. Wonderful loving relationship. Both have good jobs, I'm almost done with school, and we are in the process of buying our first home together (been renting our apartment for 4 years eek lol.) Anyways I got off my pill last Dec and we have been actively trying since like beginning of Feb....and still aunt flow comes by....it's so aggravating since I really want a baby and it sucks seeing everyone around me getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them all, I just don't get why it's not happening for us...and it's stressing me out! My hubby tries to be supportive and be like "till next time." My worst fear is I am infertile, but they say to wait a year before really worrying...but I can't help it...I thought it would be easier than this....anyone else going through something similar? If you read this whole thing then bless you!!!
> 
> Danielle


We tried for over a year before we became concerned. 1 year was the time frame most of our friends told us that we should focus on. Four years later, we still have nothing to show for it. But, the concern didn't set in for many many rounds in the sack.


----------



## aeasty (Jun 5, 2013)

well if you want a quick way get your man around vermiculite(its a fire retardant product) a few years ago when I was in trade work everyone who use this product got their wife's or girlfriends/fiancés pregnant even when they were on birth control pills if you can find it get him to mess around with it a bit (probably not too good for his health in all seriousness its one of those nasty products used in construction) just try and not stress over it and enjoy the sex or if your willing to give anything a shot do what my wife did and keep your legs up in the air and open slightly once he ejaculates.(just don't kick in off soon as he does)


----------



## CreekWalker (May 31, 2013)

Trying not to get pregnant seemed to work for me. Try the rhythm method. I got pregnant once trying that. Or pull out, I got pregnant once doing that. 

I'm just kidding. Honestly just have sex for fun and give it a year. The more stressed you are, the less likely you are to get pregnant.


----------



## CreekWalker (May 31, 2013)

Oh...and two things that worked for my friends, one was having their tubes "flushed" and two was a hormone suppository that helped them carry to term. 

Good luck, just remember it's worth the wait.


----------



## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Our first born was a surprise, we were not trying for him more like trying NOT to get pregnant but we weren't using the smartest method  When he turned a year old we decided to try for another we tried for a good year and we thought we were dealing with some sort of secondary infertility. Then I read some stuff online about missionary being the best way to conceive and how you should elevate your legs after etc. I got pregnant the first time we tried that! Then went on to conceive twice more the same way on the first try! 

Good luck and try to relax!! I hope it happens for you soon. Don't focus too much on trying, I did the in the first year we tried after our son and sex almost became a chore for the both of us. Rather than having fun we were too focused on getting pregnant.


----------



## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

Ok BUMP!!! Update update!!! I am now 3 months pregnant with our first child and couldn't be more excited!! So happy for motherhood in 2014!!


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Congratulations, Sweetheart! Please keep posting and let us know how things are going!*


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Browneyedgurl020610 said:


> Ok BUMP!!! Update update!!! I am now 3 months pregnant with our first child and couldn't be more excited!! So happy for motherhood in 2014!!


That's so wonderful -what a beautiful time!! ...... I had secondary infertility after our 1st...took almost 7 yrs to get baby #2... many tests, months of clomid, a surgery.. anyway I was so worried about having #3 (we wanted at least 3).... we tried immediately.... and Boom....baby #3... 11 months later... they say you are VERY fertile the months following a delivery...just in case you may want or NOT want ..after you hold this little bundle in your arms...


----------

