# Lonely but wanting the Love but needing to Let Go



## SugaFoot (Oct 15, 2011)

Married 5 years and filed for divorce. It's been a double dutch of relationship...we are in and then out. When life is good it is good but when it is bad it is bad. Although I say i may as well cut my losses now and start over I still cant let go. I do fine some days...dressing myself up, going out and about, but then other days espicially weekends. We still live together and he is looking to move soon (we agreed that he should get a house for the kids sake they have been separated during our double dutches so it's only fair we peovide them with a 2nd home that is not like a bachelors pad). We have times when we are at wits end then times when we could look at each other and revert back to how it used to be. I so dont want a divorce, but I cant live with the creature that is just so unhappy or not content here with me. Yet I get the same feelings of unhappiness and contentment because I get overwhelmed and he just does not seem to see why i am overwhelmed. It feels like limbo...I want a fun and healthy marriage but how many times do you try to work on a marriage to get goign in a good direction and then it be bad all over again? It's like the House of Representatives and the one that he and I like have a great vibe and then that hits the fan. Yet I still love him and want to make it work while he says we are just 2 different people and see life differently and he does not want to wake up in 10 years feeling unfulfilled. He fails to realize I dont want to wake up tomorrow unfulfilled. Maybe once we live in separate houses again letting go will be easier and me making my mind up not to double dutch with him after this separation will be the key. I dont know if I should keep working at it or just throw in the towel.


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