# I need some serious help



## shtupandbid (Jul 25, 2014)

My wife is unbearable. I am getting to the point where I just want to grab my **** and go.

Tonights Episode-

I tell my wife how much money we have in the bank. 

Wife: "Why do we have XXX in the checking account"

Husband: "I don't know, let me check"

Pause as I Start Checking Account

I start reading off the recent payments. I am naming off my purchases and hers. After I am finished I tell her that I need to cancel some of my monthly internet subscriptions. 

I then point out she spent over $XXX on Nintendo games for our daughter. That was the kicker. It threw her in a tangent. Now for the next 3 hours she was barraging me over and over how I threw it in her face that she spent it on the game. 

I told her that I didn't care how much she spent. I was just justifying why WE have spent so much money. 

This is the main problem. She will start yelling at me for hours. I may speak for about 10 minutes. The moment I open my mouth she cuts me off and continues yelling at me. She just never stops yelling at me and argueing. I don't care how much we spent. I have apologized for bringing up the Nintendo game over and over. It doesnt stop her, she just continues. If I try to explain myself she just cuts me off calls me a liar and keeps on yelling at me.

As husbands what do you think I should do? How do I get my wife to stop yelling at me for hours? This is such a small issue but she turns into a massive problem.... I need help!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Ask her to leave.

Show her you are confident enough to let her go.

She is abusive and must see that you will no longer take her yelling.

At the end of the day your old lady doesn't see the fact that she can be replaced!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Get your self a VAR (voice activated recorder).

She may need to hear how abusive she is and how phucked up her behavior is.

I feel sorry for your daughters future husband.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Your old lady is losing more and more respect for you.

Calm and collective you can command respect....it will be up to her to except your new boundry.

After all she is clearly unhappy......let her go find someone else, so the both of you can show your duaghter what a healthy relationship is.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

As far as spending $$$ on games goes...

gamefly.com


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

You'll just have to be blunt with her. Tell her you have 3 sentences to speak, and ask if she'll quiet down long enough to listen:

You're acting like a bully to everyone in this house. You're yelling and carrying on is demeaning and cruel, and solves nothing. Knock it off, act like a grown up woman, wife and mother, or I'm leaving for the night.

You'll have to have a bug-out bag ready to go, and be ready to walk. When you get back, she'll still be mad. That's her choice. She can either be mad, or work on the problems.

Behavior in humans is much like that in any animal. Whatever is reinforced will become the norm. You wouldn't dream of ignoring insolent behavior from your dog, you'd do something to correct it.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

shtupandbid said:


> As husbands what do you think I should do? How do I get my wife to stop yelling at me for hours? This is such a small issue but she turns into a massive problem.... I need help!


I'll be honest. You stand up, look her deep in the eyes.....you know the look I'm talking about and tell her to STFU.

Seems like she is steam rolling you, and YOU allow her to do so.

Now, mind you, I would like to recommend to you to be nice and say "please stop yelling and being insane" but sounds like your wife needs tough love.

If she doesn't shut up, tell her you are not listening/leaving....talk to a wall.

She either respects you and talk to you like an adult/mature human being......or she will get treated like ****.

Her choice.

Grow some balls OP


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

DoF said:


> I'll be honest. You stand up, look her deep in the eyes.....you know the look I'm talking about and tell her to STFU.
> 
> Seems like she is steam rolling you, and YOU allow her to do so.
> 
> ...


Better advice than mine!

You shouldn't ever have to leave your own house, really. Maybe only if she just won't cease with the pick-pick-pick.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

I believe the term I would use is abbreviated like this >>> G.F.Y.S.


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## lookinforhelpandhope (Apr 10, 2013)

OP, I feel your pain. Went through what sound like the same with my STBXH.

He would launch into raging arguments (we'll monolouges!) over small thing that should have been easy to discuss and move on.

I used to try to reason with him, ask him to listen to me, etc but it was futile.

In our case it came to a head during on of his tantrums. I reached the point where I'd had enough (and it takes a LOT to get me there) so I told him to leave the house and stay away until he had calmed down and we could talk. He told me if I made him leave he'd never come back so I said, "You choice but right now I don't want you around me" 

There has to be some underlying reason for her behaviour. If I were in your position I'd seriously consider separating temporarily and refuse to reconcile until she learns how to communicate respectfully.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Look into counseling, so you guys can communicate effectively. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *lookinforhelpandhope said*: I start reading off the recent payments. I am naming off my purchases and hers. After I am finished I tell her that I need to cancel some of my monthly internet subscriptions.
> 
> *I then point out she spent over $XXX on Nintendo games for our daughter. That was the kicker. It threw her in a tangent. Now for the next 3 hours she was barraging me over and over how I threw it in her face that she spent it on the game.
> 
> I told her that I didn't care how much she spent. I was just justifying why WE have spent so much money.*


 if this is how it played down, I can't see that YOU did anything wrong at all in this exchange.. Anyone else would have done the same thing you did. 



> *This is the main problem. She will start yelling at me for hours. I may speak for about 10 minutes. The moment I open my mouth she cuts me off and continues yelling at me. She just never stops yelling at me and argueing*. I don't care how much we spent. I have apologized for bringing up the Nintendo game over and over. It doesnt stop her, she just continues. *If I try to explain myself she just cuts me off calls me a liar and keeps on yelling at me.
> *
> As husbands what do you think I should do? How do I get my wife to stop yelling at me for hours? T*his is such a small issue but she turns into a massive problem.... I need help*!


There is some root issues going on in your marriage that is much deeper than this current squabble over her buying some games..... she is VERY ANGRY at you for something.. festering resentment ...and lays into you at any small thing she can.. avoiding the bigger issue... she is NOT HAPPY ... why do you think this is.. what emotional needs are being neglected in this marriage, are you both stressed to the max?? As others have pointed out ..there is *no respect* here for you.. lashing out like this.. this needs dealt with.




GusPolinski said:


> As far as spending $$$ on games goes...
> 
> gamefly.com


I buy all my games on EBay for our sons.. it's cheaper than new...sometimes you don't get a case .. do they really care. .. NO!...just make sure the sellers have awesome feedback and you're set.. why spend more than you have to.. every little bit adds up.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I buy all my games on EBay for our sons.. it's cheaper than new...sometimes you don't get a case .. do they really care. .. NO!...just make sure the sellers have awesome feedback and you're set.. why spend more than you have to.. every little bit adds up.


I stopped playing or buying games all together. Gaming industry is making me sick.

Selling people 1/2 the product and charging more money for maps/DLC content that SHOULD'VE came with the game to begin with. 

I can't believe people are supporting this sort of crap.

I also haven't seen any advancements in gaming industry and the whole thing gave me sour taste.

What happened to games that came with COUNTLESS maps.....or people were able to create their own? 

Nothing pisses me off more than this sort of marketing scheme.

More power to companies I guess, I blame the people.

Sorry for off topic


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Stop apologizing for stating simple facts. You are trying to placate her which is just turning her in to a bigger monster. When she acts that way, don't try to smooth things over. Just look at her and silently reflect on her insanity. Stay calm and walk away. Don't engage her in conversation until she can behave like a human being.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

shtupandbid said:


> I have apologized for bringing up the Nintendo game over and over.


I sure as hell wouldn't have.



> I stopped playing or buying games all together. Gaming industry is making me sick.


While I would agree that it's probably the most anti-consumer industry in the world, you have to find the companies that aren't. Indie companies for example, such as Larian, Taleworlds, and even those with previous associations with publishers such as Obsidian have gone rogue... *ahem* indie 

The funding through kickstarter programs are also proving sufficient enough for the consumer to take control of the industry and the artists to design and produce their products without their corporate overlords.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Don't stand there and listen to her when she is yelling at you. Stop her (even if you have to raise your voice to talk over her), and gently say, "I'm walking away now. I refuse to sit here and be yelled at. I am your H and I will not be talked to like a child. I will continue this conversation with you when you are calm." 

Get up and walk out. Go anywhere else but where she is. If she follows you, close the door. If she comes in, get up and take a drive or a walk or something. Do not engage her until she can calm down. 

Be consistent with that, and over time she will learn that she will get no where with you when she yells.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

The topic isn't about how the gaming industry sucks, it's how his wife behaves. I'm guessing she behaves this way on a lot of topics you talk about. If my husband acted like your wife I wouldn't stay and listen to his ranting. If I was you I would leave when she starts on her rants and tell her you will be back when she calms down. She needs counseling to figure out why she is so angry. I would tell her to get counseling or I would be separating from her. If she doesn't then that would tell me she doesn't think she has a problem so nothing will change. 

I'm sure this is upsetting to your daughter. She is not being a good role model to your daughter. She is showing your daughter how to act when you have a disagreement. Not good.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

You ever here of Al Anon? Well she needs to join "And On And On". 

You sure you didn't marry my first wife? 

IMO, when she starts on you, get in her face and let her know that if she can't control her big mouth then she can pack up, leave and make some other guys life miserable and stop backing down from her. All that does is give her the free rein to continue.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

DoF said:


> I'll be honest. You stand up, look her deep in the eyes.....you know the look I'm talking about *and tell her to STFU.*


^ ^ ^ 

THIS. :iagree:


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