# Married and have no close friends



## missM (Feb 3, 2013)

Married and have no close friends since. 

I am 26 and have been married for 4 years now. First of all, English is my second language so I apologize if my grammar isn’t correct . I was in a relationship with my husband ( before married) for about 2 years but we were in a long distance relationship. Then I move to different country ( his country) so that we both can live together. I live with him for 3 months and decide to married. I love him so much and we both love each other. But I want to share my story since I met him and how is my life have changed after I met him. I was humble and free, young, work hard, have a lot of friends. I always go out after finished work clubbing or just chill out in the bar with my friends when I live at my home country. But since me and him entered relationship, he didn’t allowed me to go out at nite club anymore, he didn’t like me to hang out with my male friends too. I was too stupid and in love with him too much that I didn’t realized what this problem could affect my life RIGHT NOW after married with him and being together for more than 5 years. I did told him that I wasn’t happy and want to divorce but he said he will change. I love him so much right and I dont want to lose him, but He make my life so hollow. I feel like I don’t live my life and he control it.. I am feeling kinda depressed that I don't have any friends in this new country that I have lived for 4 years already. I have made a few friends at work but nobody that I can be close to and hang out with outside of work. They always busy when I ask them to hang out just not reliable. I never had a problem making friends when I was growing up but now that I am an adult it is like you can't find a normal person that can relate to your life. I feel like living with him is just make me depressed because his insecure problem, his jealousy and his controlling my life. I really want to be free but I love him so much and cant imagine how my life will be like without him. Sometimes I’m thinking to suicide but I don’t want to hurt him and leave him. I have nothing exciting in my life as my family in my home country don’t even care about me here. I Need serious help on trying to make a close friend and decide to change my life but I don’t know how. I really love my husband but in the other hand I want to be free. I want to have a balance life. I’m stuck.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

It kind sounds like you miss the single life. Your husband is right, you don't really need to hang out with male friends anymore. Would your husband be up for you and him both going out together? Maybe go clubbing together, or out to meet new friends? Maybe you all could hang out with other couples that share similar interests. If your husband doesn't want to do any of this, and you really miss the life you had before, you will need to make a decision.


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## Sillyputty (Jan 22, 2013)

This sounds like growing pains to me. Marriage or no marriage you are at a difficult age/stage of your life. Marriage alone won't bring you happiness, clubbing won't, etc. Frinds can help but the key to happiness is really a decision you have to make as a result of figuring out "who" you are and other hard questions such as what do you want out of life and what are you willing to sacrifice to achieve your goals. You really can't have it all, everthing comes with a price so if you pursue one goal (such as marriage) other areas may suffer (like you social life). Another hard question, what really is happiness? Isn't it fleeting and ever-changing depending on your mood, attitude, etc.? Finally I would call upon your higher power for guidance. I'm not saying you have to attend church or become religious but I truly believe that one must live for a purpose greater than oneself. The challenge is to find that purpose and pursue it passionately and that will reward you with some measure of happiness, however fleeting it may be. You will likely have to redefine your purpose and goals over time, as well as your level of committment. Circumstances change, of course, and you have to be flexible in order to balance everything out.


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