# separation anxiety



## sadsuzy (May 15, 2011)

im over it.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

First of all, know that you are not alone in this awful game of life. You will not make it to the winners circle if you don't calm down. Now is not the time to freak out. To me your problems don't seem major...at least you two are communicating your needs to each other. If he keeps saying that you don't give him space...do that. If that is his only complaint, he could consider himself lucky ;o) Don't give him all the power, don't own all of the discourse in your marriage. Stay still around his sister always and avoid conflict. Like you I have been married just shy of two years and my husband up and moved without even telling me, and there is NO positive communication between us. See, someone in worse shape than you ;o) The 180 is good, and I have adopted the plan and I am working it, prayerfully, will result in the desires of our hearts. Although mine is changing slowly. Don't worry about a lot of responses from the members here, some times we just don't know what to write and tell someone. It does not stop you from posting in your own thread to reinvigorate/support yourself. Be well and take care of yourself and don't lose hope.


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## Lolabells (May 10, 2011)

hesnothappy- how do you make the 180 work? I literally picked up all my crap and left and moves 1400 miles away lol, i have NO idea how to use the 180in my favor. PLUS we have 0 communication.


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## sadsuzy (May 15, 2011)

Hesnothappy, Ty for your reply. And same to you, again lolabells. hesnotthathappy, I am so sorry to hear about your situation and you are in my prayers. I'm trying really trying to stay positive. Please keep me updated on your ordeal, id appreciate it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

LOLOL I stay either working, with my family and friends, going to do stuff I like (movies, etc) and of course On the computer ;o) I am addicted. I called him crying 3 days after he left and got nothing...no so much as a I am sorry I am such a butthole. I felt worse after that call. I vowed to myself not to do that again. This was before I was aware of the 180 program. I now just don't want to invest that much into someone who treats me less than I deserve. But this is this week. Last week I was a mess, could not stop thinking of the whole situation, him, missing him and his daughter, I couldn't get gas,shop without thinking about him and breaking down. I did speak with a counselor this past tuesday and I don't know what she said or sprinkled on my head, but I have not cried since. It really is a waste of emotion for me, cause he is not interested in working on anything. He wanted his freedom and took it. I am not whole again, but I am getting to a good place for me. I don't know if the 180 works in every situation, and I have not proof it is working for me...but I do feel better and stronger by following the program. Here's to success for all of us!


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I am new here-what is the 180 program? I apologize for my ignorance! [EDIT: I found it]

I, too have been left by a butthole. I took a lot of PTO last week and basically stared at the wall trying not to cry. I want to believe we'll get through this, but we won't. This relationship has been running on fumes for over a year now. I hope someone else finds that, though!


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## sadsuzy (May 15, 2011)

Where did you find the 180 program? I'm sorry to here about your situation. Have hope, okay. I know if I lose hope ill lose myself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

sadsuzy said:


> Where did you find the 180 program? I'm sorry to here about your situation. Have hope, okay. I know if I lose hope ill lose myself.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/self-help-marriage-relationship-programs/18671-180.html I found this. I am doing most of these things to make him go away and not to have him back. Not a good move for me right now


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## sadsuzy (May 15, 2011)

Ty. Whatever your decision... I hope for only good things.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oceansaway (May 16, 2011)

Sadsuzy. You need to continue the 180 plan. The plan is mostly for you to regain your selfworth and prepare yourself for the future. Nobody who wants to reconcile wants to hear this (me neither) but I am prepared to never get him back.

Give him his space at this time. My H has asked for the same and I have given it to him mostly by sticking with the 180 plan. It has given me back some of the power he had by leaving us. It makes me feel much better having some control and not looking like a idiot begging and pleading with him! looking back I feel like a fool! How attractive is that?? 
Obviously things have broken in your relationship or we would not be here. We need to change ourselves in order to change our future. The future my be with our H/W or without. Either way we will be better!


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Right on Oceansaway, well said.


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