# At Fault State Infidelity



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Was chatting with a coworker/friend of mine this morning and he was telling me the story of his divorced buddy. I know of the guy.

Hr met his ex wife and married her here in FL. They moved to NC for his job but eventually moved back to FL. They had 3 kids and a lot of marital issues including their respective families.

Eventually thet moved back to NC to try to start over. Well you can see this coming. ..she starts an affair and asks for a divorce.

He figured out she was cheating and hired a PI, got evidence, and went to mediation with evidence in hand.

His lawyer told him he could get out of any alimony with this evidence but he thought aa she'd been at home for some years to kick her out with nothing would be wrong, even if she did cheat. He's a decent guy.

He offered her 4 years of alimony plus CS. Her lawyer was unaware of the cheating and said they wanted permanent alimony.

His friend put the packet of evidence on the table and said "this is the nuclear option". Her lawyer (who was unaware she'd cheated) looked it over and told her to take his offer because a judge would give her nothing. She was apparently unaware that cheating could nullify alimony. 

He's faithfully paid cs for the past 10 years and two of the kids are now adults (youngest is 12). The ex is miserable and has accused him repeatedly of alienating the kids, and every last problem she's ever had is his fault. She's convinced he manipulated her to get her to move to NC so he could divorce her there. Never mind the fact that SHE wanted to go as there was a private school she wanted the kids in, SHE had an affair, and SHE asked for a divorce. Nope....all his fault.

Oldest son just does better with his father. He's on the spectrum and dad is more structured.

Middle daughter didn't speak much to him for years because her mother talked ****. As she got older she realized that her dad wasn't so bad and her mother was alienating her, so she now spends most days with him.

Youngest still goes back and forth.

Ex wife remarried as soon aa CS for the 2nd stopped.

I told my friend that she's probably convinced herself that everything is his friend's fault because her post divorce life didn’t pan out as she imagined.

So the moral of the story is....make sure you understand what can hurt you if you're planning a divorce. She could've left him without screwing around and gotten a lot more alimony. Considering what 2 months of **** cost her....that penis was expensive


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

@lifeistooshort you’re an actuary, surely you can work out a cost per inch formula. 😆


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> @lifeistooshort you’re an actuary, surely you can work out a cost per inch formula. 😆


I don't think an actuary is required for that one 😅


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> Was chatting with a coworker/friend of mine this morning and he was telling me the story of his divorced buddy. I know of the guy.
> 
> Hr met his ex wife and married her here in FL. They moved to NC for his job but eventually moved back to FL. They had 3 kids and a lot of marital issues including their respective families.
> 
> ...


GREAT story!!!!

The other thing you can do in NC is sue your spouse's AP for "alienation of affection"!! I don't know if it's worth it financially, but it's a great tool when working out a divorce from a WS!!!! I sure wish my BIL had that option when my sister cheated and tried to ruin his life!

And of course, it never prevents infidelity...but it sure is fun to read the articles of the BSs who do it!!!!


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't think an actuary is required for that one 😅


Oh I'm not an actuary and I can do that math!

Let's make some assumptions: They are "middle-aged" so 40yo. They are not rich, so if he made about $100k/yr, let's guesstimate a low $2k/mo alimony. Permanent alimony means "until death" so average female death is 80yo. $2k/mo x 12 mo/yr x 40yr = $960,000. Let's guess the "member" was even a little above average: 6 inches long. Huh...$160,000 per inch. 

Wonder if it was worth it?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Affaircare said:


> Oh I'm not an actuary and I can do that math!
> 
> Let's make some assumptions: They are "middle-aged" so 40yo. They are not rich, so if he made about $100k/yr, let's guesstimate a low $2k/mo alimony. Permanent alimony means "until death" so average female death is 80yo. $2k/mo x 12 mo/yr x 40yr = $960,000. Let's guess the "member" was even a little above average: 6 inches long. Huh...$160,000 per inch.
> 
> Wonder if it was worth it?


I love men but no penis is that good 😅


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> His friend put the packet of evidence on the table and said "this is the nuclear option". Her lawyer (who was unaware she'd cheated) looked it over and told her to take his offer because a judge would give her nothing. She was apparently unaware that cheating could nullify alimony.


He should have went for no alimony. I don't understand his thinking. Why would he pay her when she cheated on him? Boggles the mind.



> She's convinced he manipulated her to get her to move to NC so he could divorce her there.


If that's what he did to, then good on him!!




> Middle daughter didn't speak much to him for years because her mother talked ****. As she got older she realized that her dad wasn't so bad and her mother was alienating her, so she now spends most days with him.


That's what happened with my kids, especially after years of biting my tongue at the real reason I filed for divorce, once I had enough of them trying to tell me I do nothing for them, not only did I tell them of all the $ I pay their mother that they never see, I finally told them how many men I had evidence of her sleeping with while we were married. My oldest now considers his mother a w***e, and all I did was tell him the truth. I didn't embellish the truth or use unsavory language. Just told them what I knew and told them it was the only time I was going to mention it to them because I'm not like her and refuse to badmouth her to them at every turn. That only makes ME look bad.



> So the moral of the story is....make sure you understand what can hurt you if you're planning a divorce. She could've left him without screwing around and gotten a lot more alimony. Considering what 2 months of **** cost her....that penis was expensive


Thanks for sharing, reminds me of my situation so much.

But the real moral of the story isn't advice for someone who is a would be cheater to get more alimony, but rather, know your state's laws and use them against a cheater to your best advantage.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

drencrom said:


> He should have went for no alimony. I don't understand his thinking. Why would he pay her when she cheated on him? Boggles the mind.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


He is a decent guy as has been said and clearly wanted her to get some financial support initially. 
There are some good people about, even in a divorce.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> I love men but no penis is that good 😅


Not unless it is powered by a gold vein and is attached to a generous man.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Affaircare said:


> Oh I'm not an actuary and I can do that math!
> 
> Let's make some assumptions: They are "middle-aged" so 40yo. They are not rich, so if he made about $100k/yr, let's guesstimate a low $2k/mo alimony. Permanent alimony means "until death" so average female death is 80yo. $2k/mo x 12 mo/yr x 40yr = $960,000. Let's guess the "member" was even a little above average: 6 inches long. Huh...$160,000 per inch.
> 
> Wonder if it was worth it?


Yes, good math work!


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> He is a decent guy as has been said and clearly wanted her to get some financial support initially.
> There are some good people about, even in a divorce.


I get it, having a divorce dissolved mutually and on good terms.

But he ended up being this "good guy" and still she dragged him where his children are concerned. If my X wouldn't have cheated and we just decided for one reason or another to divorce, I'd want everything "nice".

But for me, nice goes out the window when infidelity is involved, especially when one cheats and demands full alimony. My X got none. Call me the opposite of decent if you want, but I wasn't about to reward her after what she did.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Moral of the story is that it should be "at fault for infidelity" worldwide. The only reason it isn't is because many of the people making the laws are cheaters.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

drencrom said:


> I get it, having a divorce dissolved mutually and on good terms.
> 
> But he ended up being this "good guy" and still she dragged him where his children are concerned. If my X wouldn't have cheated and we just decided for one reason or another to divorce, I'd want everything "nice".
> 
> But for me, nice goes out the window when infidelity is involved, especially when one cheats and demands full alimony. My X got none. Call me the opposite of decent if you want, but I wasn't about to reward her after what she did.


It's my impression that the marriage was on its way out when they moved back, so I don't think he was as emotionally wrecked as a lot of men would be. I think he didn't want to pay permanent alimony (don't blame him) so he used the tools at his disposal. I dislike the idea of permanent alimony unless both are past a certain age.... you can't allow a situation where a retired guy dumps his older wife who's never worked with nothing. But there's no reason a person of working age can't get a job.

He was much more decent then she would've been in his position but that's who he is. He still protected himself which is what matters the most.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> Was chatting with a coworker/friend of mine this morning and he was telling me the story......


Instead of Shakespeare, stories like these should be dissected in high school.....probably alot more valuable education wise.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You cannot deny human nature.
You cannot escape this nature.

It would be nice, to not take those slights...personal.
Then again, that would not be in our 'nature'.

Who could really love such a cool, seemingly indifferent person?
We are, who we are, for a reason.

We can be nasty and selfish, and we are, both these things.
We cannot deny human nature, but we do not have to like it.


_Are Dee-_


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

There's a 3-year statute of limitations on that in NC. So you better act quick!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I don’t like reducing a man’s penis to a dollar value, especially normalized. I find the value (to me) is priceless.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My friend says the wife is really attractive but not worth the crazy. Lots of men will put up with it for attractive.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

sokillme said:


> Moral of the story is that it should be "at fault for infidelity" worldwide. The only reason it isn't is because many of the people making the laws are cheaters.


I think the real moral of alimony stories are don't marry someone who is not self-supporting. When my wife and I were getting serious in our relationship, she had a bunch of college credits but no degree and no documentable job skills or credentialing. 

I was serious and dug in that she would need to get some kind of professional credentialing or marketable degree. No english, psychology, sociology, history or women's studies degrees, but something with actual marketability. 

My intent wasn't just for in case of divorce and alimony per se but more because my career at the time carried some pretty risk and in the event that I was killed or disabled, she would need to be able to carry on, but I also realised the risk of divorce and understood how alimony and child support works where there is a big income gap. 

As far as fault vs no-fault in divorce, while there is a degree of satisfaction that comes from when cheaters and abusers get their comeuppance, the reason many states did away with at-fault divorce was so that abused women could get away from their abusers as quickly and efficiently as possible without having to produce medical evidence and proof of abuse etc. 

And in the cases of infidelity, it was causing more hostility and combativeness and more expense and more toxicity to the children etc when people had to prove that infidelity was taking place and hire PIs and provide eyewitness testimony etc etc. 
Many jurisdictions simply found it easier, less costly, less hassle and less motal combat for all to just simply hand out the divorce on request without making people prove malfeasance. 

In cases of a Stay At Home Parent that does not have a livable income, that does place a lot of the burden of spousal support and child support on the working/higher income parent. 

While stories like this do have some feel-good appeal to them, they are probably going to be getting rarer and rarer as time goes on as many courts simply don't care who was banging who. It's also not in the courts place to "punish" a bad spouse who can't keep their pants on. 

Where proof of adultery can come into play in the settlement is if it can be shown that the WS was spending an inordinate amount of marital monies on the affair such as lavish gifts, vacations with the AP, paying escorts, sugar babies etc, paying for an apartment to conduct trysts etc etc. Sometimes the BS can be reimbursed for those expenses out of the WS's share of the assets.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Hmm, my wife didn’t have her four year degree when I was going out with her. She was picking away at it here and there and didn’t like what she was studying.

Being from a family with more than a few folks with “useless” stuffy liberal arts degrees I suggested she study what she felt like because I’m the man and I got this baby.

That scared her straight in short order and she finished her largely vocational 4 year education promptly.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> I think the real moral of alimony stories are don't marry someone who is not self-supporting. When my wife and I were getting serious in our relationship, she had a bunch of college credits but no degree and no documentable job skills or credentialing.
> 
> I was serious and dug in that she would need to get some kind of professional credentialing or marketable degree. No english, psychology, sociology, history or women's studies degrees, but something with actual marketability.
> 
> ...


Courts don't want people on welfare, so if you agree to support a sahp you've essentially agreed to help the state keep them off of welfare, and as we all know it can be very difficult to get a person who's used to being at home to get a job.

I've counseled my sons not to support a sahm.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

lifeistooshort said:


> Courts don't want people on welfare, so if you agree to support a sahp you've essentially agreed to help the state keep them off of welfare, and as we all know it can be very difficult to get a person who's used to being at home to get a job.
> 
> I've counseled my sons not to support a sahm.


It doesn't matter whether you agree to it or not. If someone does not have the means to support themselves and their STBX does, the court will typically order them to do so,, at least for a certain period of time.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

lifeistooshort said:


> I've counseled my sons not to support a sahm.


I do too with my son. 

And I also admonish my daughter to always be able to support herself and never be completely dependent on anyone. 

I think all parents should do this. So many men have been raised that they must support The Little Wifey and that the mark of a man is how little their wife has to work. 

In my personal opinion this is completely wrong in today's world and in today's family legal climate. 

I don't want to make this sound like a men vs women conflict because it's really not straight down gender roles. The deck is stacked against the higher earning partner whether that be male or female. However traditionally it has been the male that has been the higher earner so there is a bias along those lines. 

But it's something that women need to become more aware of time goes on they as group earn more and more. 

Whoever makes significantly more than the other is at risk of paying disproportionate spousal and child support. If you have an unemployed and especially unskilled and uneducated partner, you are at great risk of paying a lot of support for a long time. 

Most states don't care if your partner cheats or not. And even the ones that have some kind of at-fault guidelines, it's often not really all that enforced and as I said above, often comes down to whether there were unreasonable or flagrant expenditures on the affair using marital monies. 

I would never encourage a son or any young man to marry and plant babies in an uneducated, unskilled, SAHM in today's world.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

drencrom said:


> He should have went for no alimony. I don't understand his thinking. Why would he pay her when she cheated on him? Boggles the mind.


Probably for one of the same reasons she cheated on him in the first place. Weakness.

The whole SAHM label is somewhat misleading. Most women I know who become mothers take varying amounts of time off then go back to work. Plus how is a young person supposed to avoid a SAHM before she's had any kids. You really only find the truth about that out after you impregnate her.

This whole story sounds like Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Two people really bad for each other.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

gaius said:


> Plus how is a young person supposed to avoid a SAHM before she's had any kids. You really only find the truth about that out after you impregnate her.


By not marrying and knocking up someone with no marketable job skills and no marketable education/job training. 

Spousal support is often not based on just their current income but also takes into account their potential income. 

If someone with documented educational degree or professional licensure/certification etc etc takes some time off to be a SAHP for a number of years, upon divorce the court can and often does take into account their income potential based on their education/credentials and prior work experience etc. 

A period of spousal support may be awarded to compensate for being out of the job market for years or need to recertify or retrain etc.

But my point is, the higher the income potential of a STBX the better. 

The guys that take it in the shorts are the guys that meet and knock up these cuties in college and then they do not go back to finish their degree/certification/licensure and have them be SAHMs for 20 years and if they held any jobs at all during the marriage it was part time unskilled labor jobs. 

That may have been how our grandfathers did business many decades ago, but that is madness today in the current legal climate.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> By not marrying and knocking up someone with no marketable job skills and no marketable education/job training.


Females have been given this advice from the beginning of time to not marry and bear children with uneducated, unemployed and unemployable men. 

It's high time males be taught the same thing. 

Many guys may be ok with the idea of supporting a woman that is young and cute and sexy and sexually exclusive to them. 
But they need to be aware that if she has no marketable job skills sufficient to support herself, they may also have to be supporting her for many years after she is old and wrinkled and fat and screwing other people but hasn't touched him for years.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> Was chatting with a coworker/friend of mine this morning and he was telling me the story of his divorced buddy. I know of the guy.
> 
> Hr met his ex wife and married her here in FL. They moved to NC for his job but eventually moved back to FL. They had 3 kids and a lot of marital issues including their respective families.
> 
> ...


**** people do **** things. She was always going to cheat, but she might have done more to not get caught.

Bet her ex is glad she didn’t, though.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Females have been given this advice from the beginning of time to not marry and bear children with uneducated, unemployed and unemployable men.
> 
> It's high time males be taught the same thing.
> 
> ...


Or men could always just keep their desirability up so their wife doesn't screw other men and still wants to have sex with them. 

I know this guy is lifeistooshorts friend but everything about him reeks of weak beta. From moving to NC because his wife liked some private school there to giving her 4 years of alimony after she cheated on him. 

So yeah, if you want to be that kind of guy, then prepare to be ripped off by a woman. But I'd rather teach men to be the kind of man women don't lose interest in than protecting themselves from the inevitable repercussions of weakness.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

gaius said:


> Or men could always just keep their desirability up so their wife doesn't screw other men and still wants to have sex with them.
> 
> I know this guy is lifeistooshorts friend but everything about him reeks of weak beta. From moving to NC because his wife liked some private school there to giving her 4 years of alimony after she cheated on him.
> 
> So yeah, if you want to be that kind of guy, then prepare to be ripped off by a woman. But I'd rather teach men to be the kind of man women don't lose interest in than protecting themselves from the inevitable repercussions of weakness.


He's not my friend 

He's a buddy of my work friend. My work friend is divorced too but his ex didn't cheat and their divorce was amicable. They have kids and get along fine.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Affaircare said:


> Oh I'm not an actuary and I can do that math!
> 
> Let's make some assumptions: They are "middle-aged" so 40yo. They are not rich, so if he made about $100k/yr, let's guesstimate a low $2k/mo alimony. Permanent alimony means "until death" so average female death is 80yo. $2k/mo x 12 mo/yr x 40yr = $960,000. Let's guess the "member" was even a little above average: 6 inches long. Huh...$160,000 per inch.
> 
> Wonder if it was worth it?


So who says size doesn’t matter?


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Moral of the story is there are countless ways someone could get effed over in a marriage...Infidelity is only one of them...Why courts or the state should be bothered with any of it is baffling to me...All that should be considered is distribution of assets and care for minor children...The why's are how's shouldn't be considered, IMO.... I mean, if you can get more out of someone for infidelity, then you should get more for laziness, lack of sex, whatever...

You could end a lot of this stuff by making a marriage like a drivers license...Has to be renewed every 4 years or it expires...I believe a lot of problems could be avoided by implementing some plan similar to this.. Both parties blissfully happy? Great, have a mini "wedding" every 4 years and celebrate.. Not working out? Let it expire and limit losses of time and aggravation..Of course children would need to be protected, etc..


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> Being from a family with more than a few folks with “useless” stuffy liberal arts degrees I suggested she study what she felt like* because I’m the man and I got this baby.*


😂😂😂 Scared her straight!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So she was going after permanent alimony after cheating on him, and he chose to give her 4 years. Yeah, this guy is stupid.

what she should have gotten is NOTHING, and I don’t admire what he did, I see it as weak behavior. What this woman needed was a lesson in loyalty AND humility. I’d have given her that.
Had she acted with remorse and sadness at her own behavior and tried to treat him fairly, I might have gone along with. Little alimony. After she showed not only no remorse, but tried to screw me over the rest of my life???? 

omg—-/ I’d have relished giving her what she so handily earned—- zero.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> So she was going after permanent alimony after cheating on him, and he chose to give her 4 years. Yeah, this guy is stupid.
> 
> what she should have gotten is NOTHING, and I don’t admire what he did, I see it as weak behavior. What this woman needed was a lesson in loyalty AND humility. I’d have given her that.
> Had she acted with remorse and sadness at her own behavior and tried to treat him fairly, I might have gone along with. Little alimony. After she showed not only no remorse, but tried to screw me over the rest of my life????
> ...


Good friend of my older brother recently got divorced because his wife cheated on him. Sad story. Really good guy. I've hung out with him multiple times. He took care of everything. She was a stay at home wife. They didn't have any kids, so she didn't have a career or do the difficult work of a stay at home mother. She just lived off him. He discovered the affair. Was a stand up guy about the whole thing. Didn't try to screw her over or anything. Told her they would split everything 50/50. He was even going to help her find a new place to live. They had decided on uncontested divorce.

She ended up getting a lawyer behind his back. Took him to court. Raked him over the coals. She took 60% of everything and took the house from him. 

He lives in an at-fault state. She filed behind his back and he didn't get his ducks in a row. He is also paying multiple years of alimony. Yeah, I agree with you Evinrude. If you get a cheater and you live in an at-fault state, you take care of business to the fullest extent of the law (this goes for men and women discovering their spouse cheated). A cheater has already proven themselves to be a liar and a snake. Do not allow them space or they will use it to screw you over.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

The guy question KNEW she’d screw him if she could have, and he still rewarded her cheating with 4 YEARS alimony. That’s not being a stand up guy, that’s being a fool. 
But I agree, a cheater has already shown you what they’re capable of. Cutting them some slack just enables them to have confidence in screwing over their next victim. 

I’m not into coddling cheaters, men or women.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Good friend of my older brother recently got divorced because his wife cheated on him. Sad story. Really good guy. I've hung out with him multiple times. He took care of everything. She was a stay at home wife. They didn't have any kids, so she didn't have a career or do the difficult work of a stay at home mother. She just lived off him. He discovered the affair. Was a stand up guy about the whole thing. Didn't try to screw her over or anything. Told her they would split everything 50/50. He was even going to help her find a new place to live. They had decided on uncontested divorce.
> 
> She ended up getting a lawyer behind his back. Took him to court. Raked him over the coals. She took 60% of everything and took the house from him.
> 
> He lives in an at-fault state. She filed behind his back and he didn't get his ducks in a row. He is also paying multiple years of alimony. Yeah, I agree with you Evinrude. If you get a cheater and you live in an at-fault state, you take care of business to the fullest extent of the law (this goes for men and women discovering their spouse cheated). A cheater has already proven themselves to be a liar and a snake. Do not allow them space or they will use it to screw you over.


Some guys are just plain dumb when it comes to divorce.

One of my good friends who is an engineer and got good grades in physics and calculus was married to BSC basket case. After about a dozen years of sexless marriage (she completely rejected him on their wedding night and only consented to sex a few times thereafter for procreation) he finally got the balls to file on her. 

She was a tenured university professor so it’s not like she didn’t have an income of her own and to my knowledge there was no infidelity involved because I don’t know any other man would touch her with a ten foot pole.

Anyway She went out and got a lawyer and then she and the lawyer told him that they could save a lot money by both of them using her lawyer together so he signed everything her lawyer wrote up. 

Yeah you can guess how well that worked out for him and how much money that brilliant idea saved him.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> Some guys are just plain dumb when it comes to divorce.
> 
> One of my good friends who is an engineer and got good grades in physics and calculus was married to BSC basket case. After about a dozen years of sexless marriage (she completely rejected him on their wedding night and only consented to sex a few times thereafter for procreation) he finally got the balls to file on her.
> 
> ...


My ex didn't get his own lawyer even though i encouraged it. I think it was a combination of conflict avoidance and continuing to bury his head in the sand, which he did like nobody else I've ever known.

He was fortunate that i didn't ask him for anything. We'd never combined finances so he took his and I took mine....the only thing he had to pay was when he bought me out of our house, which he would've had to do anyway.

Everyone should have their own lawyer.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

The issue for a lot of guys is that even when they are wronged there is a sense that a woman needs "protection" from harm.

"I'm gonna take her to the cleaners!" Said no man ever, yet it's the rallying cry of most women in divorces. A close friend of mine could have easily gotten an alimony judgement from his wife, no kids and she made way more than he did. ..When I asked him about it he thought it would make him look bad or weak if he went for alimony.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> Some guys are just plain dumb when it comes to divorce.
> 
> One of my good friends who is an engineer and got good grades in physics and calculus was married to BSC basket case. After about a dozen years of sexless marriage (she completely rejected him on their wedding night and only consented to sex a few times thereafter for procreation) he finally got the balls to file on her.
> 
> ...


Does this guy look like Quasimodo or what? I just don't get people who lie down and are too damn stupid or lazy to take care of their own business. Did he really think his wife was going to act in his best interests?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> My friend says the wife is really attractive but not worth the crazy. Lots of men will put up with it for attractive.


That is fun for about 12 hours to two weeks. After that? Run.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Blondilocks said:


> Does this guy look like Quasimodo or what? I just don't get people who lie down and are too damn stupid or lazy to take care of their own business. Did he really think his wife was going to act in his best interests?


Not at all. He is 6ft and a lean 180-190lbs and reasonably good looking. He’s a computer engineer and founding member of a software development company. 

You’d think he’d be a chick magnet and he probably would be if he wasn’t so clueless. 

I do not believe he is on the spectrum at all but when it comes to male/female relations he is a babe in the woods.

I really believe he is the poster child of this current wave of betatized simp males that have been raised by single mothers to cowtow to women and raised to believe that men are inherently bad and predatorial and that anything that is not catering to to and supplicating to women is evil. 

He’s a real good guy, he’s just so damn dumb and clueless and when his friends and relatives, including his own sisters, have tried to talk sense to him, he thinks we are the ignorant and unenlightened ones.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

hamadryad said:


> The issue for a lot of guys is that even when they are wronged there is a sense that a woman needs "protection" from harm.
> 
> "I'm gonna take her to the cleaners!" Said no man ever, yet it's the rallying cry of most women in divorces.


You took the words right out of my keypad.

Men that divorce women at all are often looked down and considered bad men in society.

I’m not sure if the younger generations but in my generation men that did anything that inconvenienced or hurt the feelings of or placed a woman in any kind of hardship was greatly scorned and treated as a monster. 

Even if a woman was a falling down alcoholic or recalcitrant cheater or just a plain evil schrew, the husband would be looked down on for not being able to keep her under control. 

So not only was it a mortal sin for a man to be controlling, but he was also criticized if he couldn’t keep her under control. 

When a woman swears to take a man “to the cleaners “ or “take him for everything he’s got” it’s often to thunderous applause and cheers of you go girl!

But if a guy does something that might inconvenience a woman or upset her, he is an evil demon that has risen up from the depths of hell that must be squashed. 

That’s part of why a lot of these guys bend over and take it in shorts. 

To some the alimony is a small price to pay compared to the scorn and contempt they may have to deal with if they try to get what they are rightfully and legally entitled to.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> That is fun for about 12 hours to two weeks. After that? Run.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


Isn't there a saying that's says show me the hottest woman in the world and I'll show you someone who's tired of her ****?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> He is a decent guy as has been said and clearly wanted her to get some financial support initially.
> There are some good people about, even in a divorce.


Being a “decent guy” shouldn’t mean volunteering to be beholden by the state to pay alimony to an ex for any period of time. He could’ve pushed for no alimony and then _voluntarily_ sent her extra money on top of CS each month.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> Isn't there a saying that's says show me the hottest woman in the world and I'll show you someone who's tired of her ****?


#truth

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> Isn't there a saying that's says show me the hottest woman in the world and I'll show you someone who's tired of her ****?


Amber Heard springs to mind.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Amber Heard springs to mind.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Heard was the one who divorced Depp. He wasn't tired of ****ing her. 

If he had only put in half the effort he did suing her after the marriage to not being a strung out junkie during the marriage they'd probably still be together! That's what weakness gets you. Your ex-wife pretending to donate half of your money to the ACLU.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Females have been given this advice from the beginning of time to not marry and bear children with uneducated, unemployed and unemployable men.
> 
> It's high time males be taught the same thing.
> 
> ...


Yeah, but you know -- instant gratification.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

gaius said:


> Heard was the one who divorced Depp. He wasn't tired of ****ing her.
> 
> If he had only put in half the effort he did suing her after the marriage to not being a strung out junkie during the marriage they'd probably still be together! That's what weakness gets you. Your ex-wife pretending to donate half of your money to the ACLU.


I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he was a strung out junkie when she had an affair and then married him.

I've got no sympathy for her.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> Isn't there a saying that's says show me the hottest woman in the world and I'll show you someone who's tired of her ****?


My dad always said that, except his went more like, "show me a gorgeous woman, and I'll show you a man who's tired of F-ing her".

That was my real dad (the true narcissist) of course...my step-dad NEVER objectified women that way.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

gaius said:


> Heard was the one who divorced Depp. He wasn't tired of ****ing her.
> 
> If he had only put in half the effort he did suing her after the marriage to not being a strung out junkie during the marriage they'd probably still be together! That's what weakness gets you. Your ex-wife pretending to donate half of your money to the ACLU.


Are you kidding?? Did you even watch her on the stand...? She is actually psychotic...if he had been strong and put his foot down earlier in their relationship, she would have done all she could to discredit him and ruin him then.
She is the unhinged predator (in all her relationships), and she probably chose him because he was weak.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he was a strung out junkie when she had an affair and then married him.
> 
> I've got no sympathy for her.


I've personally never known a couple where one person was a big hard drug user and the other one didn't do drugs at all. I'm sure she did her share but maybe not the exact same thing.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Are you kidding?? Did you even watch her on the stand...? She is actually psychotic...if he had been strong and put his foot down earlier in their relationship, she would have done all she could to discredit him and ruin him then.
> She is the unhinged predator (in all her relationships), and she probably chose him because he was weak.


She's definitely aggressive, mentally ill and highly manipulative but I wouldn't say this was inevitable. She was nice to Elon Musk. Those videos she took of Depp tantruming like a baby and passed out drooling on drugs were pathetic and would make even a polite woman lose respect for a man. 

Depp just bit off more than he could chew. There's a lesson to be learned there for men. And it's not be strong after your marriage and be weak during.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he was a strung out junkie when she had an affair and then married him.
> 
> I've got no sympathy for her.


I feel like even mentally ill, manipulative women deserve a guy who can keep up with them. To help them check their worst impulses. And as glad as I am Depp might be back in movies (he's a unique talent and she's not) I hope she finds that guy some day.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

gaius said:


> I feel like even mentally ill, manipulative women deserve a guy who can keep up with them. To help them check their worst impulses. And as glad as I am Depp might be back in movies (he's a unique talent and she's not) I hope she finds that guy some day.


I disagree. 

I hope all of the good men are with emotionally healthy women who can control themselves and don't need another adult to "help them check their worst impulses".

A quality man deserves a quality woman, not a ***** ****.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Quality woman:

Man gets up and finds he only has one pair of workout shorts clean.

Woman hears man rummaging around in the wash room looking in the clothes dryer. She gets out of bed 1h30m before her normal time and says, “Are you looking for workout clothes?”

Man says, yes! I am down to one pair of shorts and I want to go running, but then we have yoga after that.

Woman: Don’t worry BBG I will have fresh shorts for you for yoga. Run along now!

❤


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Livvie said:


> I disagree.
> 
> I hope all of the good men are with emotionally healthy women who can control themselves and don't need another adult to "help them check their worst impulses".
> 
> A quality man deserves a quality woman, not a *** ****.


I don't think you would consider the right man for Heard a good man Livvie. But he would be strong enough to handle and love her at the same time.


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