# World is upside down



## Tonyo (Aug 14, 2017)

My wife of 34 years (23 married) cheated on me. Its all over now. She crossed the line. I am definitely not perfect. I did piss her off many times in the past BUT I never broke her heart!! I dont know where to go, what to do, how to breath. I feel as though I have been in a drunken haze 24/7 for the last month, without drinking. I aimlessly walk around like a zombie, both at work and home.


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## eric1 (Apr 10, 2015)

Can you give us more details on her affair?


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Jesus, I'm sorry you're going through this; that's awful. What are the details surrounding her indiscretions? Are you still living together? What are you doing to take care of yourself?


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Tonyo, tough place for you to be in right now. Sorry that you have been put in this situation, I know how much it sucks.

For now, start working on taking care of you. Make sure you eat right, get enough sleep, and try exercising (Did me a world of good). Find some good friends or a counselor to talk with about what is going on in your head. Get a handle on what you can control and work outwards from there. Things will not be easy nor will they happen right away, but you can get through this time.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

OP, I am sorry you are here. Just know there are quite a few of us who have been thru the same or similar and you are not alone. Please try to keep your wits about you and do not do anything you may regret later. As others have suggested take control of what you can control and work your way out from there. Focus on your self.


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## Ghost Rider (Mar 6, 2017)

Sorry to hear this happened to you, Tonyo; I know how very badly it hurts. I went through a phase of shock and grief for months where I was exactly as you describe. I've only recently begun to come out of it. Easily the most painful time of my life. Be strong and take good care of yourself.


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Tonyo said:


> My wife of 34 years (23 married) cheated on me. Its all over now. She crossed the line. I am definitely not perfect. I did piss her off many times in the past BUT I never broke her heart!! I dont know where to go, what to do, how to breath. I feel as though I have been in a drunken haze 24/7 for the last month, without drinking. I aimlessly walk around like a zombie, both at work and home.


 @Tonyo I understand how you feel I was a Zombie for months then I was in a drunken Haze for a few months partying, you need to find a new routine, structure and clear your head. 

It is terrible but I promise it will pass and you will go to a new stage I am currently in Anger but its much better and more productive than the Zombie stage. Hoping I can get past this and just be happy again soon.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Sorry your are here Tonyo. Vent here what is going on. Many here have been through the same and will do their best to help you through.


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## Volunteer86 (Aug 2, 2017)

Hang in there, time heals....


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## GoingCrazyNow (Jun 28, 2017)

Like MovingOnwardNow and many others I was in the Zombie stage for a good 4-8 weeks. I am just now at the tail end of the Anger stage. Like most, this was definitely the toughest thing I have had to deal with in my entire life thus far. I think the biggest thing to getting through it is ACCEPTANCE. No one deserves to be cheated on whether it's an EA or PA, it's utterly devastating to the faithful partner. In my opinion, those that cheat on faithful people have serious underlying problems that will only get fixed if that person wants to fix themselves, but most times they are in complete limerence denial.

Just know that we are all here in the same sinking ship that is divorce, regardless of how we arrived at this destination. The pain will lessen over time, but you will never forget. You will come out of this a better person if you take care of yourself and don't let this beat you down.

Good luck


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Tonyo said:


> My wife of 34 years (23 married) cheated on me. Its all over now. She crossed the line. I am definitely not perfect. I did piss her off many times in the past BUT I never broke her heart!! I dont know where to go, what to do, how to breath. I feel as though I have been in a drunken haze 24/7 for the last month, without drinking. I aimlessly walk around like a zombie, both at work and home.


Get off the bottle, get your head straight, and file for divorce.

Sorry man.


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## GoingCrazyNow (Jun 28, 2017)

I agree with Gus, put down to damn bottle and man up. The first thing I did when I got the news from my STBEX was put it down! I checked myself into a 28 day program and haven't had a drop of alcohol on almost four months. It really is the best thing to do- quit drinking right now that is. I would not be functioning properly had I continued to drink- my life has been pretty ****in good since I stopped. Drowning your miseries only puts it off- you need to go full steam through it to survive and recover. Time and Sobriety are your best friends right now, so do not discount them.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

He did say "without drinking".....


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