# Face book lies and sex tapes.



## BenFrame (Aug 28, 2011)

OK nnot comfortable with this...but...My wife is Facebooking with her Ex. I encouraged her to accept his friend request as she has stated many times before she hates his guts, and has no desire to reconnect but would like to know what he is doing...keep your friends close and enimies closer type of thing. 
Anyways, about 9 months ago she left her facebook to automaticly sign her in and when I clicked facebook on computers browser it went right to her page rather than log in page. I am open about my Facebook as I have nothing to hide, and she has said in past I can look at hers when ever i want, so I figured what the hey...well her inbox was acned with emails from this particular Ex, each email a little more personal than the last. Also found these emails in her sent bin they had been erased from her inbox. i found some things that upset me.
1. She had been pregnant before we got toether to this guy and lost the baby. We had talked about past releationships before and when I relayed a story of a past GF thinking she was pregnant, (turns out she was just late) I asked if she had ever thought she was pregnnat or been before she said no...Ok i thought maybe she is just embarrassed and that's why she didn't tell me. 
2. this is from an email." I love my kids and I guess my husband too, but you know me  and how I love drama." 

needlessto say I was a bit upset I Asked her if she ever emailed her ex and she said "no why would I, I hate him." it was only after a friend of ours was caught cheating by his wife ( they were emailing each other he and his mistress) and I said even emailing is cheating that she came clean...things died down between them after that. until Feb 14th when she sent and email to him saying that she hoped he was doing ok. and then again 2 months later on on anniversery when she emailed him and said that she was thinking about him and his problems and hoped it worked out. 

Nothing for months until the past two weeks, as he is again goign through difficult time( he is the type to post all of his problems on facebook.) the emails seemed innocent and I could care less about just talking to each other as friends...but last night was completely different. she had a few drinks to celebrate her birthday, and then asked if I cared if she checked her facebook book. she was online for two hours drinking the whole time only to sign off and announce to me she would like to have sex. ahem...which we did, and aftwerwards Asked me to go make us something to snack on. I did this and eventually she fell asleep. when she I took her phone off of her to put on charger, and I found the emails they had been sending all night. No need for details but let's just say the one she sent 1 minute after I left and we had had sex was a an email professing her un dying love to him as her first love, and how she will always be there for him. They discussed the sex tape they made, and her final thought before sleep was she wanted him to know she still looked amazing naked.( she does.) 

her father cheated on her mother and my wife found out when she was 14. she has admitted to me that since thenn she liked being the other woman and sleeping with guys who are with someone. and in sex, if she want s to role play it is always her cheating on her husband, or being the other woman to a cheating husband. 

does this mean she is going to cheat? should I be watching her? am I crazy or an ******* for thinking all of this...any help male or female...


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

She's already deep into an emotional affair with her ex-boyfriend. He's more emotionally important to her than you are.

She's been deep into this for about a year.

Being pregnant to another guy before you is need to know information before getting married.

This relationship with him needs to end, or you need to remove her from your life.


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## BenFrame (Aug 28, 2011)

Im not reading to into this? I m waiting fo rher to fall asleep tonight to check her phone... i hate being like this.


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## BenFrame (Aug 28, 2011)

I am bringing this here because I need advice, even if it's what I don't want ot hear...or maybe I just need to say it...if I want ot stay with her am I a sucker...oh also we have two kids...I am in school and working and she had to get a full time job so I could goto school...I feel horrible...]


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Your fears are extremely valid. She is emotionally involved with him still.


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## BenFrame (Aug 28, 2011)

Well Fawk me then...sigh

I think I knew this just need ot hear it from others... thanx for reading my short story up there.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You need her to end the emotional affair with him ASAP. If she is turning to him before and right after you have sex, then she is bringing him into the intimate relationship. Your marriage bed now has three people in it.

She needs to learn what an EA is and she needs to permanently stop all contact with him via no contact letter stating she is choosing her family and you over him. Etc.

You must monitor her in the future to ensure she keeps her word.

And you both need to get in marriage counseling and rebuild your marriage. It has three people it right now and that isn't going to work out well.

Don't wait, do let this go farther like her hooking up with him. Confront her ASAP and set boundaries.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BenFrame (Aug 28, 2011)

Well I checked tonight and it was back to emailing about his personal problems. The times on the emails were while I was putting the kids to bed, and she was down stairs watching her shows. When I came down she brought up to me that she looked at his page and he was really out of control with his posts on facebook. I told her I thought he was a loser, and I hoped she didn't talk to him anymore, and she told me that he emails her but she hasn't responded to his emails since last year. 

After that i said I had some homework, and left the room to read, when I came back she was asleep so I checked again and sure enough about 5 minutes after she told me she stoped answering his emails, she emailed him again about his problems...

what is this womans infatuation with him? He hit her when they were dating, excuse me engaged, and that's when she dumped him. A friend of hers< who she doesn't talk to anymore, told me that her family had to threaten disowning he after he hit her because she was still gonna stay with him. He is a real piece of **** and is currently with some girl he left his pregnant woman for because he got the new girl pregnant, and alrady has three kids. 

Also she is so jealous of any female friend I have. Any of them, she starts to talk about how ugly they are. I've never strayed on my wife, and never will, but I am not alllowed to have any female friends she doesn't find a reason to hate.


I have another story...Once when we were dating about 3 days before I was to meet her parents for the first time, I was coming out of the bathroom and met her in the hall...she was upset but wouldn't talk to me. She made her way to leave the house, and I followed her to the car asking what was wrong...only as she was pulling away she said go look at your bed and you'll see...so I go back up stairs and there on my bed was a bra, that wasn't hers. I called her and told her it wasn't from anyone that I had been with, and maybe it was a roomamtes date or something. it still had tags on it I said, well she didn't want to hear it. I had an event that I was doing the next Saturday and for a week I tried to call her( at the time I didn't know where she lived just the town) she would not take my call. She knew aout the event and called me 45 minuteds before I had to leave for it and finally after days and days wanted to "talk about what You did" I told her i wasn't talking because I was busy and she made it clear to me If I didn't talk to her then we were threw...so I told her that was her problem and hung up...the next day after the event she showed up at my house, and told me she didn't want to talk about it, ever again, and it was over and in th epast and we should move on...but now anytime I get an email from a female friend, and I mean as innocent as (hey I saw your brother today, he is funny) she brings up the incident with the bra and says I can't be friend s with the girl. I've suggested thearopy but she is not interested. SO what do I do? I love her, i really do, I don't want a divorce or anything but I also don't want to be cheated on or manipulated so what are my options...


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

As others said on here ... stop this before it escalates! U see my thread on here? I'm speculating that she maybe talking to an ex, but I no solid proof. Her HS ex treated her like trash too, so I don't see why she'd be interred to communicate with him either. We have a firm policy, NO Exs on FB. But methinks she's found a way around it by possibly chatting with this guy in a FB Group Network composed of people from thief neighborhood. If I find this out, even if nothing is going on I'm going to be livid!

Ur wife... she's not respecting the proper boundaries of marriage, plus she's lying to your face. All this dweeb wants is to smash ur wife again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Habibi (Aug 29, 2011)

Her behaviour is in no way acceptable at all. It is your right to demand no contact. You would also be wise to insist on being present when this is done. Further on, facebook can ruin your life. If I were you, I would insist that you both close your facebook accounts untill all of this has blown over. 

AND YOU NEED TO GET FURIOUS!


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

The bra had tags on it still? Who else could have put a brand new bra on your bed but her?

She needs to break off all contact with him and never have contact with him again. Including Facebook.

Do not *****foot around on this.


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## LilaGrace111 (Aug 27, 2011)

Maybe she is just looking for attention. People sometimes do this is they are feeling down or lonely or anything at all. Maybe just worried about getting older, lacking excitement and is getting it elsewhere. She may write and type things she completely does not mean because it seems harmless to her. The truth is she is in a dangerous place where she could lose what matters most to her. You have to sit her down and tell her that you know what is going on, and that you need her to decide if she wants to be married to you, or if she wants someone else. Tell her you are very disappointed that she has lied to you. Maybe even go to stay with a friend for a week to shake her into realising what she is doing. you could then provide the "chase" or excitement she is seeking and make her realise she does not want to make these mistakes


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Stop playing games---you know its inapropos, and she keeps denying---

Forget whether you are allowed to talk to other women, that isn't your problem at this time

She stops, and she stops now, in fact maybe she needs to come off of facebook

If she refuses, then tell her fine, you prefer, your X, and facebook to our mge., then maybe we need to not be married

Be harsh---this has to be stopped, right now, and you more than likely can not be nice about it,---- you have some worries, and fears, it is nothing like what you will feel, if she cheats

Also, SHE NEEDS TO GO TO IC


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

BenFrame said:


> I encouraged her to accept his friend request


YOU DID WHAT??

I know at this point I'm just another voice in the chorus but let me give you the very short version of my story. A little over a year ago I got a friend request from a girl I had a brief but intense thing with in high school - 22 years ago. I hadn't heard from her since then. I had been for with my wife exclusively for 21 years and happily married 13 of those, we had just had our second child - life was great. Less than two weeks after I got that request I was in the middle of a very intense EA with a married woman. I had my head so far up my [email protected]@ I still can't understand how I got it there. We were into sexting, saying I love you - the whole deal - all in less than two weeks and I was happily married (still am btw - even better than before my EA)!!

My point? You need to quash this hard, fast and decisively. Your wife is going to scream, yell and call you an SOB. It's just like an intervention with a drug addict - literally - so expect that kind of response. 

This isn't playing with matches - it's a full on fire already. Deal with it as such.


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