# Difficult Time Deciding and Letting Go



## aavgeek (Oct 17, 2011)

Hello,

I'm struggling with making the divorce decision. I've been married 5 years and have no children with a woman who has severe depression and anxiety issues. On her good days, she's wonderful, kind and thoughtful. On her bad days she is emotionally abusive to me. She claims that our marital problems are because of me - not her. She won't take any criticism from anyone. She is right and I'm wrong, the therapists are wrong, etc. She won't leave the marriage. I can't take the stress she's putting on me any longer. I'm emotionally and physically burned out. My physical health is suffering due to our relationship.

I admit I have not been perfect in this relationship. I struggle with some anxiety issues myself. I am working on these problems. My anxiety has definitely gotten worse since we married.

I'm ready to break. I'm not sure what to do. Part of me feels sorry for her and feels terrible for leaving our marriage, part of me wants to run away as quickly as I can. I fear leaving because I don't want to hurt her, because I do care about her. I also fear leaving because of the loneliness and pain that will follow the divorce. I do not have a big circle of friends, and am not very social.

Any words of advice? My BFF and parents are pressuring me to get out and get out now.

Thoughts?


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## unsurewithitall (Mar 25, 2014)

I think you and I are in the same boat on this as I posted just a bit after you did. The fear of hurting someone else is always present, but at this point could it be seen that the hurt is already done and its just pressing into the same wound re-opening it again and again?

From the sounds if it only thing guys like us have control over is ourselves in the situations we got into. The pain and loneliness of moving on is hard but its a step to take if you want to find happiness. Have you thought about slowly getting into a hobby or club of some type to just be your self away from the relationship?


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## hereinthemidwest (Oct 7, 2010)

You do not need to be loved at the price of losing yourself. Of all the people you meet in your lifetime, you are the only person you can not lose. BE TRUTHFUL no matter how painful. The the most painful truth is much better then best dressed lie. Tell her you need to leave for YOU. 

As silly as this sounds. If this is hard maybe practice role play. Pretend with a close friend, pillow ect. Though a friend dones works well. Because I've found they will step into the roll easy and start asking questions your spouse may say to you. Be strong. Best of luck to you.


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