# Sex Godess



## tracyishere

Have you ever desired to be like a stripper, porn star etc? To have that confidence with yourself, your body and sex? To feel desired and fantasized by men? 

I always find myself admiring women who can do such things. I imagine they must feel so powerful to have such influence on men.

Am I Cuckoo or what?


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## ntamph

I know you wanted women to respond but......

Speaking as a man, this has little to do with your body or things like that. It's all attitude. If you put in the effort and will power to be this for a man and he doesn't appreciate it, then you can do better.

I think all men want a confident woman.


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## tracyishere

A man's input is always welcome. I guess it could be a question for them as well? Male stripping..etc


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## Phenix70

I AM a sex goddess, with my H of course.
He's enthusiasm has allowed my own to flourish, it's such an empowering feeling to see his reaction to me.
When you have that "safety net", you can be anything you want.
The H wants a lap dance?
He's going to get one.
He wants me to wear a costume & fcuk me heels around the house?
I'm picking out outfits & putting on stockings. 
Because he loves me & loves sex with me, I want to keep us both satisfied, because it makes me feel good to do so.
I'm his Sex Goddess & I love it.


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## LdyVenus

Maybe... sometimes... Then I realize MOST of those women are desperate, broken, abused, and need alcohol/drugs to do what they do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tracyishere

Are you saying that their confidence is fake, done with the aid of substances? That it may not be a powerful experience at all but a demoralizing one?

Interesting...


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## diwali123

I would say it is just a job to them. I read a lot of forums for strippers because h and I went to a club and I just wanted to know how they think. 
They are trying to make a buck, it's not fun for them. All they do is think about how to work men to get the most money to pay their bills without catching a disease (from the dirt on the floor). 
A lot of them have to pay a certain fee per night to perform and then they make their money on lap dances. 
Porn stars who are paid I think are the same. 
The women I have seen be the most comfortable and happy with displays of their sexuality in public were burlesque dancers who weren't getting paid.


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## tracyishere

Ya, but i would be thinking "OMG, they can see me naked". To not be thinking that takes something special.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000

tracyishere said:


> Have you ever desired to be like a stripper, porn star etc? To have that confidence with yourself, your body and sex? To feel desired and fantasized by men?
> 
> I always find myself admiring women who can do such things. I imagine they must feel so powerful to have such influence on men.
> 
> Am I Cuckoo or what?


Ladies forum. LOL. I have fantasized about being a male stripper. Ummmm. Only for women that is. Back to the ladies now.


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## waiwera

I have been involved in middle eastern dance/belly dance for many years. 

Over that time I have seen more than my fair share of frustrated strippers come through my classes. For some strange reason more than a few have been accountants in RL :scratchhead: but as soon as they get a coin belt on and they just start dirty dancing.... their busting to get out there and shake their stuff. Often before they should really...but they just can't be held back. Maybe it's a yin/yang thing. 

But for most women... they come along for a bit of fitness and fun and also to relish and enjoy their 'womanliness'.
They may never want to dance in front of an audience. Most recoil at the suggestion of dancing in front of others... even family and friends. 

Dancing for men is...ahem...generally over-rated... especially if alcohol is involved. Even quite nice blokes can turn into pigs if their drunk enough and with a group of other blokes. I danced at restaurants for a few years and was appalled at the behaviour at times and eventually it caused me to give it up. Nowadays I stick to hens nights, wedding and community events. (sorry i know thats probably UN-PC to call drunk men pigs... so sorry if your taking that personally) 

But yes.. I enjoy being sexy and dancing sexy... only I keep it at home with hubby.


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## Entropy3000

tracyishere said:


> Are you saying that their confidence is fake, done with the aid of substances? That it may not be a powerful experience at all but a demoralizing one?
> 
> Interesting...


Real female strippers are very sad. Many have been abused. Many are trying to pay for their drugs. Others are trying to feed their children. Some are prostitutes. Nothing glamorous about being a female stripper. I love looking at naked women. However, female strippers are just sad. My prevailing emotion is ... pity. 

I used to frequent the strip bars when I was very young and in the Navy. But have done shore patrol in the hooker bars and strip clubs I have learned mostly to feel sorry for them.

Now as a fantasy ... I think it is all very hot.


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## Entropy3000

waiwera said:


> I have been involved in middle eastern dance/belly dance for many years.
> 
> Over that time I have seen more than my fair share of frustrated strippers come through my classes. For some strange reason more than a few have been accountants in RL :scratchhead: but as soon as they get a coin belt on and they just start dirty dancing.... their busting to get out there and shake their stuff. Often before they should really...but they just can't be held back. Maybe it's a yin/yang thing.
> 
> But for most women... they come along for a bit of fitness and fun and also to relish and enjoy their 'womanliness'.
> They may never want to dance in front of an audience. Most recoil at the suggestion of dancing in front of others... even family and friends.
> 
> Dancing for men is...ahem...generally over-rated... especially if alcohol is involved. Even quite nice blokes can turn into a pig if he's drunk enough and with a group of other blokes. I danced at restaurants a for a few years and was appalled at the behaviour at times and eventually it caused me to give it up. Nowadays I stick to hens nights, wedding and community events.
> 
> But yes.. I enjoy being sexy and dancing sexy... only I keep it at home with hubby.


I love belly dancing. Even the music.

I do not equate belly dancing to stripping. Yes I get the overlap. But i see it as erotic but not debasing. Of course much of this is because stripping is not stripping. It is lap dances and VIP rooms.


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## Entropy3000

ntamph said:


> I know you wanted women to respond but......
> 
> Speaking as a man, this has little to do with your body or things like that. It's all attitude. If you put in the effort and will power to be this for a man and he doesn't appreciate it, then you can do better.
> 
> I think all men want a confident woman.


I do not find strippers as confident. 

Anyway, if I was single I would much rather chat up a good looking woman who could actually carry on a conversation. Why? Because you do not have sex with a body, you have sex with the woman.

All this said, my boundary is look but do not touch.
But going to strip club these days is one of my least favorite things.


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## mablenc

No, not really, I think you can be still sexy and confident sex goddess without doing that. Maybe even a classy sex goddess 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## waiwera

Entropy3000 said:


> I love belly dancing. Even the music.
> 
> I do not equate belly dancing to stripping. Yes I get the overlap. But i see it as erotic but not debasing. Of course much of this is because stripping is not stripping. It is lap dances and VIP rooms.


Well yes you and I see a HUGE in belly dancing and stripping. Not everyone does apparently


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## mablenc

Entropy3000 said:


> I love belly dancing. Even the music.
> 
> I do not equate belly dancing to stripping. Yes I get the overlap. But i see it as erotic but not debasing. Of course much of this is because stripping is not stripping. It is lap dances and VIP rooms.


Yeah I think belly dancing is different yet, you can feel graceful and sexy without the tackiness or slu*inese for lack of a better word.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000

tracyishere said:


> Ya, but i would be thinking "OMG, they can see me naked". To not be thinking that takes something special.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


People get desensitized to this. I remember strippers sitting at my table and chatting with them long ago and they are just chatting away topless with me. So they get to where they do not feel like goddesses. Yes, I used to chat woth stippers and hookers. When I was like 19/20. They were interesting then.


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## TiggyBlue

Have a couple of friends who have stripped in the past, to them it was just a job (plus some of the stories they have believe me you would NOT feel like a goddess) .


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## diwali123

I think a lot of sex workers have been sexually abused and are already numbed out about their body. 
Some, not all. 

Personally if I had a body that men would not boo off stage, I'd probably be more worried about getting my period during a lap dance. I think that to me is the grossest part of all nude lap dances. Ugh. Use your imagination. 

I think belly dancing is a completely different animal.


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## 6301

If you see some of the porn that's available, these women don't look real. They look like a bunch of live mannequin's. I saw an interview with a former porn star and she had been in rehab twice for drugs because she said it was the only way to make it through the day. She also said something that just blew me away. She said that after she did a scene with her co star, the director told her (and this is unbelievable) to have her A hole bleached. Now how the hell do you do that? Sit in a pan of Clorox? So in reality who goes to that length in real life. "Honey! Watch the kids for an hour, I'm getting my "brownie" bleached. Back in a hour. Don't forget, put the roast in the oven."


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## always_alone

tracyishere said:


> Have you ever desired to be like a stripper, porn star etc? To have that confidence with yourself, your body and sex? To feel desired and fantasized by men?
> 
> I always find myself admiring women who can do such things. I imagine they must feel so powerful to have such influence on men.


I've always resented the limiting and stereotypical image of sexuality found in porn, strip clubs, etc. 

Like others, I also find the whole thing kind of sad. I honestly don't understand why so many people find it sexy. Usually the women are desultory, as though they wish they were anywhere else but there. 

One friend of mine got into it because she liked the attention from men; she was a very sad character with a history of neglect, abuse, and alcoholism. Another used sex work to pay for school, and she said the hardest thing for her was stifling her urge to laugh at or insult her clientele.

Yet so many think it's sexy. Why?


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## diwali123

Yes A hole bleaching is real. People get it done at the same place they get Botox. 

Don't want to look dirty for the camera.


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## Caribbean Man

mablenc said:


> Yeah I think belly dancing is different yet, you can feel graceful and sexy without the tackiness or slu*inese for lack of a better word.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Belly dancing is good.

There is also something similar in Hindu culture.
It's beautiful and can be very erotic.


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## greenpearl

Entropy3000 said:


> I do not find strippers as confident.
> 
> Anyway, if I was single I would much rather chat up a good looking woman who could actually carry on a conversation. Why? Because you do not have sex with a body, you have sex with the woman.
> 
> All this said, my boundary is look but do not touch.
> But going to strip club these days is one of my least favorite things.


Confidence comes from knowledge. Knowledge about your work, and knowledge about life in general. A sexy body without knowledge is like an empty shell. 

Men do enjoy good looking women, but they also want the good looking women to carry on a smart conversation. Men usually say that women want a whole package from men. Men are the same here, they want a whole package from women. 

A Geisha makes a lot of money because she has both. Same as a Courtesan. 

But I don't admire them anymore because this kind of lifestyle is empty.


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## tracyishere

Wow, I definitely have an altered perception of those women now. I didn't expect that they came from such terrible backgrounds. I always thought that they had a hyper sexuality and enjoyed what they did. 
Hmmm now who shall I envy? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000

tracyishere said:


> Wow, I definitely have an altered perception of those women now. I didn't expect that they came from such terrible backgrounds. I always thought that they had a hyper sexuality and enjoyed what they did.
> Hmmm now who shall I envy?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No. In fact many people who seem overtly sexual are actually anything but. They are desensitized to it all. It is no longer exciting to them.


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## tracyishere

It all makes sense now. Too bad. I really liked the thought of women taking stage to feel like a goddess. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123

tracyishere said:


> Wow, I definitely have an altered perception of those women now. I didn't expect that they came from such terrible backgrounds. I always thought that they had a hyper sexuality and enjoyed what they did.
> Hmmm now who shall I envy?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Women who have incredible intense intimate orgasmic sex with men who love them?


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## Pandakiss

You have to think "in sexy, and I know it", to your self. Write on your mirror "hey there sexy" or "cutie". Buy clothes that you look good in. Or feel great in. If you are shipping and you see a dress and it's kind of blah, don't buy it. 

Walk with your head up and shoulders back. Find a song you love and a good beat and practice walking "down the run way", you will notice your body movements. After a while you will only have to think about the song and you will strut. 

Buy cute undies. I saw a show and the 2 women asked a third how she manages to just ooze this sex appeal. She said, put a 50 dollar bill in each cup, and a 100 dollar down below. 

I haven't tried it, but it might work. This does translate over to the bed room. Try yoga. You will be more flexible during sex, and not one thing is a better confidence booster that hubby's face when you bust out a new move. 

Shoes make a difference too. I wear shoes and dresses my hubby loves. It's empowering to be out with him wearing a skirt or shoes that I "modeled" for him first. He always touches me and loves on me, and offers to take me shopping for something new. 

I secretly do run way walks when I'm home alone.


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## FemBot

Yeah the whole "strippers and prostitutes enjoy what they're doing and are empowered" is a lie people tell themselves to feel less guilty about consuming. 90% of those women view their bodies as worthless objects that have been abused by men countless times so why not strip for easy money. Sadly the money is not even that great.

I once read an article by a gay guy who used to frequent strip clubs with his straight friends (before they knew he was gay) and because he wasn't physically turned on he was able to see it for what it was. He talked about his friends losing their minds when aroused and the women with a total robotic and disenchanted look on their face as if bored. None of the men noticed this because they were too aroused. He said it was the saddest thing he's ever seen.

Any woman can have that level of sexuality. Get naked and sway your hips to music. It's super erotic. Your man will love it. It's not about what size you are it's about being sensual and owning your womanly body. I did this with my H a few weeks ago and he hasn't stopped talking about it!! 

I think a man will take a sexy sensual wife over a stripper any day. Most of the men there have no other options to see women's sexuality...even if it's fake they will take it.


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## always_alone

tracyishere said:


> Hmmm now who shall I envy?


Aphrodite?

Set the bar high!


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## mablenc

tracyishere said:


> Wow, I definitely have an altered perception of those women now. I didn't expect that they came from such terrible backgrounds. I always thought that they had a hyper sexuality and enjoyed what they did.
> Hmmm now who shall I envy?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why envy anyone? Why not become the person you think is worth envying? It's much better to build up you confidence and sensuality, learn new things from other cultures too, that can add the exotic mystery to your life.

Trust me it will be more fun that to sit and envy others.


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## FemBot

I agree! We tend to see sexuality as "dirty" something reserved for "bad" girls or people with perfect bodies. Everyone owns the right to overt sexuality. Explore your own. Envy your own life and your own sexual prowess


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## Caribbean Man

FemBot said:


> *I think a man will take a sexy sensual wife over a stripper any day.* Most of the men there have no other options to see women's sexuality...even if it's fake they will take it.


This is so true. [ The highlighted part]
The second part is also true to a certain extent.


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## Caribbean Man

FemBot said:


> *I agree! We tend to see sexuality as "dirty" something reserved for "bad" girls or people with perfect bodies. * Everyone owns the right to overt sexuality. Explore your own. Envy your own life and your own sexual prowess


There's so much food for thought in both of your responses.
From the books I've read, I believe that most people in the West suffer from repressed sexuality. Even though we may look like a very sexual society, much of the sexual expressions that is seen around in the media and so forth comes from a place of repression.
It is not natural expression.
People don't understand the true nature and beauty of human sexuality.
The don't know exactly how their bodies were made to function, and the levels of pleasure they can derive if they only free their minds , abandon some of those useless, self destructive social constructs and start living.

Also, sex has been so commercialized , that people are conditioned to think that in order for them to have a fulfilling sex life they must spend money. Buy this, purchase that ,join this sex forum . Rubbish.
The only thing you must do in order to have sex is remove some of your clothing.

There is nothing " new " about sex, just like there is no 
" new way" to eat food , sleep or defecate. Our ancestors have been doing it for millions of years, and I can say from my little bit of research, they were having much more fun and satisfaction from sex than we are, right now.

Maybe that's why they always dressed in very little clothing.


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## FemBot

Watch "The Sexy Lie" by Caroline Heldman. She touches on some if your points. Overtly sexual media makes women feel less sexy and therefore enjoy sex less.


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## Dad&Hubby

tracyishere said:


> Have you ever desired to be like a stripper, porn star etc? To have that confidence with yourself, your body and sex? To feel desired and fantasized by men?
> 
> I always find myself admiring women who can do such things. I imagine they must feel so powerful to have such influence on men.
> 
> Am I Cuckoo or what?


Definitely not cuckoo. I think everyone, man or woman, wants to feel extreme confidence in themselves physically and sexually. But there's a HUGE difference in what you're looking for and whom you are modeling after.

Strippers (lets focus there) is not about confidence, it's a mixture of manipulation and lack of self esteem/worth. A stripper's goal is to manipulate men out of their money through the use of her body because they lack the self worth to say my body has value.


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## treyvion

tracyishere said:


> It all makes sense now. Too bad. I really liked the thought of women taking stage to feel like a goddess.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's getting used to attention and a certain type of attention. I'm not going to judge them, but people that come out of those enviroments do have some trouble and some of it is based off of having gotten that type of attention and not getting it anymore.


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## mablenc

treyvion said:


> It's getting used to attention and a certain type of attention. I'm not going to judge them, but people that come out of those enviroments do have some trouble and some of it is based off of having gotten that type of attention and not getting it anymore.


Actually I read a book called "daughters of narcissistic mothers"

This book has a theory that has been true in my case, the daughters of narcissistic mothers will either develop into perfectionist, and have the need to please. While others develop a need for attention especially the wrong attention. Seems like they want to shock people because they feel people will judge them anyway. 

I turned into a perfectionist, and people pleaser, my sister lets just say she has a thing for naughty dancing.


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## treyvion

mablenc said:


> Actually I read a book called "daughters of narcissistic mothers"
> 
> This book has a theory that has been true in my case, the daughters of narcissistic mothers will either develop into perfectionist, and have the need to please. While others develop a need for attention especially the wrong attention. Seems like they want to shock people because they feel people will judge them anyway.
> 
> I turned into a perfectionist, and people pleaser, my sister lets just say she has a thing for naughty dancing.


What's your opinion of narcissism?


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## treyvion

Dad&Hubby said:


> Definitely not cuckoo. I think everyone, man or woman, wants to feel extreme confidence in themselves physically and sexually. But there's a HUGE difference in what you're looking for and whom you are modeling after.
> 
> Strippers (lets focus there) is not about confidence, it's a mixture of manipulation and lack of self esteem/worth. A stripper's goal is to manipulate men out of their money through the use of her body because they lack the self worth to say my body has value.


All in all, this phase of their life is a bad mindset. But have developed skills to use for jobs where you cannot simply look at the other person as a human being and cannot care about them.

Recruiters, pressure sales, bill collectors, etc.


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## always_alone

FemBot said:


> Envy your own life and your own sexual prowess


This is probably good advice, but boy can it backfire. Contrary to the TAM message, men don't always respond in the way you might hope to such things.


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## mablenc

treyvion said:


> What's your opinion of narcissism?


My mother has a narcissistic personality, everything was about her. We got sick, she was sicker, we were never good enough, we didn't really matter. We were thought to crater to her and her needs, before ours. 

As a mother myself, I know realize how bad it was. One time my father brought a desert home. when we wanted to try it she guilted us. She said, I can't even enjoy this because you guys want it. I remember leaving the table and feeling sad because I was mean in wanting her dessert. I was about 5 years old. 

I know now that being a mother means going hungry if there is only enough food for one. Let alone a stupid dessert. 

So, I think that there is a lot of damaged caused to the family as a whole. I could go on and on


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## mablenc

always_alone said:


> This is probably good advice, but boy can it backfire. Contrary to the TAM message, men don't always respond in the way you might hope to such things.


Then those men are not worth it.


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## treyvion

mablenc said:


> My mother has a narcissistic personality, everything was about her. We got sick, she was sicker, we were never good enough, we didn't really matter. We were thought to crater to her and her needs, before ours.
> 
> As a mother myself, I know realize how bad it was. One time my father brought a desert home. when we wanted to try it she guilted us. She said, I can't even enjoy this because you guys want it. I remember leaving the table and feeling sad because I was mean in wanting her dessert. I was about 5 years old.
> 
> I know now that being a mother means going hungry if there is only enough food for one. Let alone a stupid dessert.
> 
> So, I think that there is a lot of damaged caused to the family as a whole. I could go on and on


It's good you could admit it and tailor your own life.


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## mablenc

treyvion said:


> It's good you could admit it and tailor your own life.


Thank you,
30 years of suffering and 1 of condensed therapy

A lot of what not do to do with your children examples.


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## richie33

mablenc said:


> My mother has a narcissistic personality, everything was about her. We got sick, she was sicker, we were never good enough, we didn't really matter. We were thought to crater to her and her needs, before ours.
> 
> As a mother myself, I know realize how bad it was. One time my father brought a desert home. when we wanted to try it she guilted us. She said, I can't even enjoy this because you guys want it. I remember leaving the table and feeling sad because I was mean in wanting her dessert. I was about 5 years old.
> 
> I know now that being a mother means going hungry if there is only enough food for one. Let alone a stupid dessert.
> 
> So, I think that there is a lot of damaged caused to the family as a whole. I could go on and on


Wow you just described my mother to a T.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc

richie33 said:


> Wow you just described my mother to a T.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


They are out there, creating more mental problems for generations to come.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tracyishere

:smthumbup:


Pandakiss said:


> You have to think "in sexy, and I know it", to your self. Write on your mirror "hey there sexy" or "cutie". Buy clothes that you look good in. Or feel great in. If you are shipping and you see a dress and it's kind of blah, don't buy it.
> 
> Walk with your head up and shoulders back. Find a song you love and a good beat and practice walking "down the run way", you will notice your body movements. After a while you will only have to think about the song and you will strut.
> 
> Buy cute undies. I saw a show and the 2 women asked a third how she manages to just ooze this sex appeal. She said, put a 50 dollar bill in each cup, and a 100 dollar down below.
> 
> I haven't tried it, but it might work. This does translate over to the bed room. Try yoga. You will be more flexible during sex, and not one thing is a better confidence booster that hubby's face when you bust out a new move.
> 
> Shoes make a difference too. I wear shoes and dresses my hubby loves. It's empowering to be out with him wearing a skirt or shoes that I "modeled" for him first. He always touches me and loves on me, and offers to take me shopping for something new.
> 
> I secretly do run way walks when I'm home alone.


I just wanted to clarify that I am not lacking in the self confidence department- with my H. I am definitely not shy about putting on my sex God show for him. But, (as it should be) I could not fathom doing it for a bunch of strangers. That's why I was in such awe of those who could.

I did the striptease dance ONCE. It was a cross between a foal learning to stand and a monkey on a trampoline. Sexy? No! Entertaining Yes! Thankfully my H just sat and smiled- and about a month later burst out laughing!!!


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## FemBot

mablenc said:


> They are out there, creating more mental problems for generations to come.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I read that book too mablenc and my mother is also a narcissist...in fact both parents are but in different ways. I am slowly turning my life around. It's amzing how many people are this way.


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## FemBot

I should also add that it might be surprising to know that most strippers hate men...like loathe them. A woman with a healthy respect for men would feel uncomfortable hustling them for money. I have also read that porn actresses are asexual. They derive no pleasure from sex and usually dissasociate during filming and also hate men. These women have a lot of issues....sex goddesses they are not sadly.


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## diwali123

Reading their forums I can see that. Definitely a dislike of men. The games they play are manipulative. But hey, the guys think they are manipulating the women. 

I was reading about things like approaching a group and going to the man who is the least attractive of the group first to maybe the other men jealous and go "what the hell?"
They definitely don't get any sexual thrill out of it.


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## doubletrouble

richie33 said:


> Wow you just described my mother to a T.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And my W's mother. Toss in an abusive stepfather and wow, that took some therapy to process. But W is 44 now and the most amazing woman on the planet.

You have to be strong to survive, and stronger to flourish.


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## Faithful Wife

Not sure if anyone said this yet or not...but there are many DVD's to "learn to strip for your man" that are very good and help you do it like a goddess.


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## always_alone

mablenc said:


> Then those men are not worth it.


What, because they don't follow the Pavlovian script? Maybe some of them are more worth it.

Or maybe I just suck. Anything's possible.


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## Faithful Wife

always...if your man responds to porn but doesn't respond to YOU when you strip or express your sexuality, then he just has real sexual issues. I wish you could see that? What you are decribing is a sexually dysfunctional man (and by "describing" I mean, all of the posts you've made about him collectively).

Don't mean to pick on you. It just makes me sad to read some of your posts where you don't seem to "get" that there is something really off about him.


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## mablenc

always_alone said:


> What, because they don't follow the Pavlovian script? Maybe some of them are more worth it.
> 
> Or maybe I just suck. Anything's possible.


I meant that if you are a sesual woman with confidence that should be enough for a man to value you. I don't think you have to pretend or act like a porn star or stripper for them to "respond". If you have to go out of your way and be something your are not, then that man or men are not worth it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tracyishere

always_alone said:


> What, because they don't follow the Pavlovian script? Maybe some of them are more worth it.
> 
> Or maybe I just suck. Anything's possible.



You could join me on the trampoline!


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## RandomDude

Considering I married a woman who used to be those things in her youth, only to be find out she's completely reliant on her sex appeal for her own self-esteem, leading to quite alot of issues - especially when I reject her... meh

Been there done that, and hell you don't want to be like my STBXW
Sex goddess she was, a good housekeeper and mother sure, but a wife? Demands after demands and b-fits when she didn't get her way. Forget it!


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## always_alone

mablenc said:


> I meant that if you are a sesual woman with confidence that should be enough for a man to value you. I don't think you have to pretend or act like a porn star or stripper for them to "respond". If you have to go out of your way and be something your are not, then that man or men are not worth it.


Ah! I misunderstood before. This I can agree with.


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## always_alone

Faithful Wife said:


> Don't mean to pick on you. It just makes me sad to read some of your posts where you don't seem to "get" that there is something really off about him.


No problem, FW. I know you're only trying to help.

For what it's worth, I wasn't really thinking of my SO when I said that, just musing about the varied responses sexual come ons can have and what it might mean.


----------



## tracyishere

Faithful Wife said:


> Not sure if anyone said this yet or not...but there are many DVD's to "learn to strip for your man" that are very good and help you do it like a goddess.


Been there, tried that. Thank goodness the T.V reflects before I made another circus show. Some people just aren't coordinated enough for that. Myself included. I'll just stick to the two step (without any twirling please)


----------



## FemBot

Faithful Wife said:


> Not sure if anyone said this yet or not...but there are many DVD's to "learn to strip for your man" that are very good and help you do it like a goddess.


I've watched some Youtube videos to get some tips but in the end I just had to "feel" it!! I knew I'd be too self conscious trying to remember moves or getting it wrong. It worked for me


----------



## mablenc

tracyishere said:


> Been there, tried that. Thank goodness the T.V reflects before I made another circus show. Some people just aren't coordinated enough for that.n Myself included. I'll just stick to the two step (without any twirling please)


I can relate, I not only am I clumsy but uncoordinated too.


----------



## diwali123

FemBot said:


> I've watched some Youtube videos to get some tips but in the end I just had to "feel" it!! I knew I'd be too self conscious trying to remember moves or getting it wrong. It worked for me


Im only doing that if theres a chance that the favor gets returned.


----------



## tracyishere

diwali123 said:


> Im only doing that if theres a chance that the favor gets returned.


HECK NO! The only way the clothes should come off my man is by me ripping them off... 

Oh the thought out..out...out!!


----------



## diwali123

My h would probably just be like "why aren't you naked yet?" lol


----------



## Spinner

tracyishere said:


> It all makes sense now. Too bad. I really liked the thought of women taking stage to feel like a goddess.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 this is a cute thought! I hate to burst your bubble but,I have to agree with the other posters. Most strippers were/are abused and have zero self worth.

I have thought about being a stripper before but only for the money. Goodness, the money! T_T

I had a friend put herself through college with stripping and she said the dancing on stage was really fun, but the money came from lap dances where creepy dirty men couldn't keep their hands to themselves. The job pretty much drove her insane with self loathing and she quit as soon as she was able to make ends meet with a "real" job.

There are exceptions though. I think it all depends on how you view yourself. There was a lady at the club who was a single parent to 3 kids and she made enough money by stripping nights to support them all comfortably and she could work while her kids were sleeping and be there for them every evening when they got home from school. She loved it and that lifestyle worked for her.


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## diwali123

Yeah but then what? There's really no where to go after that career wise. And do you really want to tell your kids that?


----------



## SimplyAmorous

Faithful Wife said:


> Not sure if anyone said this yet or not...but there are many DVD's to "learn to strip for your man" that are very good and help you do it like a goddess.


Here is one >> Erotic Strip Dance | Loving Sex



> *Sex Goddess*
> 
> >> a female who is a deity to mankind in bed. She is so potent at giving and receiving pleasure that she will often leave men enchanted in a helplessly amazed stupor.
> 
> 10 Signs that you’re a Sex Goddess


The feeling like a "Sex Goddess"...this is wrapped up in the "*Power*" view of sexuality (below)...it is EMPOWERING to FEEL we can bring a man to his knees, overtake him in lust, almost possess him...turn him into putty in our hands & IRON at the same time for our pleasures.... 

This can be abused in many ways...society seeks to abuse it & make $$ from it....but when used inside of a committed relationship with the strings of love & entanglement... I dare say there is no greater HIGH , can anything make us feel more ALIVE, and in touch with ourselves...pleausuring our men/ his getting lost in us...and ending in "making love"...

I went from being a somewhat Repressed "Little house on the Prairie" wife - always loved sex -but wanted the lights dim...to feeling the euphoria of a Sex Goddess nearly over night.. 

Although I knew I was loved/ treasured like no other, I was the cat's meow....my husband was never one to show any sort of animal LUST, the thought of "disrespecting" me was something he could not do... obviously we were missing some things -in keeping our own fun CAGED. 

THEN...Mid Life came upon me...that door was flung open... I had some sort of hormonal surge.....He became my Boy Toy experimentation...any inhibitions I had -they were shot to hell....he didn't know what HIT ME ....but he was going to ride that out as long as it lasted ...Sex & everything sensual became my primary Need ....Seduction my greatest pleasure, his pleasure my Pleasure.....He didn't know if he'd come home to a naughty nurse one day or a French maid feather dusting his privates the next...it's like everything I missed in expressing this part of myself came flooding in - it had a Niagra Falls effect on me.... 

Oh what RUSH ....his receiving me, that feeling of pure love & safety with my husband , how vital to allow this opening up...it's a delicate thing even...how important to keep it all at home..... 

Sharing about my experience, because it was such a MOVER in my life/ our lives...has been another release for me as well... If this can happen to someone like ME... I dare say, so many women have this power in their grasp as well...I know I will never be the same. 




> *5. **Power View* ~ Sexuality is a potent instrument for controlling others/ sex wields power". ... Sexual desire is the desire to possess another, while wanting to avoid being objectified by the other. One must be savvy to the potential for sexual exploitation, manipulation and violence (in it's rawest forms).
> 
> Sexuality is seen as "energy", as a force, Sexual interaction lays us bare & can strip us of control as we surrender to desire. Knowing oneself as a being who commands another’s sexual attention is invigorating / experiencing oneself as sexually attractive is enlivening. Yet this power is fragile & leaves you at the mercy of another's way of seeing - when I become a “sex object,” someone else decides whether I am valued, set aside, desired or dismissed.
> 
> In order to seize control & not be controlled, I need to objectify my sexual “partner” (in thought or by actions) before my sexual “partner” can objectify me... “Partner” becomes a misnomer because the mutuality of such encounters is mutual rivalry in a contest over power.
> 
> Self-Protection is vital here...one must enter into sexual relationships with one’s eyes wide open, savvy about the potential for exploitation & manipulation, taking care to preserve one’s own dignity by not being the victim of another’s conscious or unconscious exertions of power.


----------



## treyvion

SimplyAmorous said:


> Here is one >> Erotic Strip Dance | Loving Sex
> 
> 
> 
> The feeling like a "Sex Goddess"...this is wrapped up in the "*Power*" view of sexuality (below)...it is EMPOWERING to FEEL we can bring a man to his knees, overtake him in lust, almost possess him...turn him into putty in our hands & IRON at the same time for our pleasures....
> 
> This can be abused in many ways...society seeks to abuse it & make $$ from it....but when used inside of a committed relationship with the strings of love & entanglement... I dare say there is no greater HIGH , can anything make us feel more ALIVE, and in touch with ourselves...pleausuring our men/ his getting lost in us...and ending in "making love"...
> 
> I went from being a somewhat Repressed "Little house on the Prairie" wife - always loved sex -but wanted the lights dim...to feeling the euphoria of a Sex Goddess nearly over night..
> 
> Although I knew I was loved/ treasured like no other, I was the cat's meow....my husband was never one to show any sort of animal LUST, the thought of "disrespecting" me was something he could not do... obviously we were missing some things -in keeping our own fun CAGED.
> 
> THEN...Mid Life came upon me...that door was flung open... I had some sort of hormonal surge.....He became my Boy Toy experimentation...any inhibitions I had -they were shot to hell....he didn't know what HIT ME ....but he was going to ride that out as long as it lasted ...Sex & everything sensual became my primary Need ....Seduction my greatest pleasure, his pleasure my Pleasure.....He didn't know if he'd come home to a naughty nurse one day or a French maid feather dusting his privates the next...it's like everything I missed in expressing this part of myself came flooding in - it had a Niagra Falls effect on me....
> 
> Oh what RUSH ....his receiving me, that feeling of pure love & safety with my husband , how vital to allow this opening up...it's a delicate thing even...how important to keep it all at home.....
> 
> Sharing about my experience, because it was such a MOVER in my life/ our lives...has been another release for me as well... If this can happen to someone like ME... I dare say, so many women have this power in their grasp as well...I know I will never be the same.


Power view sex sucks over time... It should be about raw lust and passion, a base level of communication. Not about control.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

treyvion said:


> Power view sex sucks over time... It should be about raw lust and passion, a base level of communication. Not about control.


I agree with you, the Power view being "Primary" can make one a sexual predator ...like the Studs who sweet talk you till they get you in bed, then never call again...I don't feel it would be healthy to ever have this as one's PRIMARY sexual expression....as you see Rape and all sorts of abuse can be the result when taken to it's limits.. but a *measure *of this in a committed relationship.....nothing wrong with it..

Me & my husband are primarily *Romantic*... with expressions of just about all of these 6 at various times...I feel this is very healthy. Explained here >> 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...exual-views-have-they-changed-over-years.html


----------



## treyvion

SimplyAmorous said:


> I agree with you, the Power view being "Primary" can make one a sexual predator ...like the Studs who sweet talk you till they get you in bed, then never call again...I don't feel it would be healthy to ever have this as one's PRIMARY sexual expression....as you see Rape and all sorts of abuse can be the result when taken to it's limits.. but a *measure *of this in a committed relationship.....nothing wrong with it..
> 
> Me & my husband are primarily *Romantic*... with expressions of just about all of these 6 at various times...I feel this is very healthy. Explained here >>
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...exual-views-have-they-changed-over-years.html


A good deal of the singles game is power view sexual interactions. Remember a female can do power view to a male, and it will strip him bare of any self worth to have done the act. The same as it would do a woman.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

treyvion said:


> *A good deal of the singles game is power view sexual interactions. Remember a female can do power view to a male, and it will strip him bare of any self worth to have done the act.* The same as it would do a woman.


Oh yes ! Here is a scenario of how a WOMAN attempted to use it....purposely to LURE a married man into a night of unbridled passion.

Do You Have Sexual Integrity? 

Just a piece of the story >>


> *How Lust Can Transform Behavior*
> 
> Stacy gave one last downwards tug to her tight blouse to ensure that her buxom cleavage was showing adequately. She was all too familiar with the heady thrill of
> sexual power. It gave her a peculiar rush to walk through the doors of "The Red Room," the bar she had frequented every Friday evening for the past six months since assuming her new job in the downtown financial center.She had grown accustomed to the lecherous eyes, which caressed her breasts and looked deeply into her eyes asking questions she was only too willing to answer. In fact,she welcomed those lustful stares with every fiber of her being. They made her feel wanted and oh so powerful.
> 
> She perched gingerly atop her favorite bar-stool being sure to allow her ample derriere to protrude at just the right angle. This was guaranteed to bring even more attention since she was sure every man in the room appreciated her voluptuous curves. These were the well-known tricks of her trade; the calculated use of her body in a clever little game of sexual conquest.
> 
> As she called for a stiff scotch on the rocks, she surveyed the room with purpose as her desire-filled eyes moved in for the kill. It was then that she spotted him. Sitting and swirling an anonymous brown liquid absentmindedly was absolutely the hottest man she had ever seen. There were two things about him that drew her like a moth to the flame. One was the large size of his hands (she believed every story she had heard about a man with large hands) and the other; that unmistakable glint of gold on his ring finger.As she drew near to throw down the gauntlet called deliberate eye contact, she knew that her evening held promises of wild, unbridled passion and he wasn’t going to be sorry he cheated.


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## diwali123

I'm so confused. This stuff reads like a bad romance novel or something. 

It just smacks of misogyny.


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## Runs like Dog

Maybe she's a sex Godel, provably unprovable.


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## diwali123

Ff do you have something set to alert you if someone uses the word "misogyny"? Lol

Yes that's what hot women do. They go out to bars alone just to get a thrill out of men looking at them. Then they purposely hunt down married men. What a load.


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## SimplyAmorous

diwali123 said:


> Ff do you have something set to alert you if someone uses the word "misogyny"? Lol
> 
> Yes that's what hot women do. They go out to bars alone just to get a thrill out of men looking at them. Then they purposely hunt down married men. What a load.


I don't understand the offense to this..it's 1 article.. offering an example of the power view using the female ... I felt this was worthy of a discussion on this thread..beings it's about a woman's Goddess power at play....Yes, she was eyeing up a Married man...No that is likely not the norm...though google *wedding band + chick magnet*.. I wouldn't slap Misogyny-on every article, and there is plenty! 

According to this >> The Wedding Ring Phenomenon  >> that would be a lesser 38% of single women in comparison to 60% of men doing it (below)...so to suggest it never happens...I am going to have a hard time agreeing with that. 



> In 1994, University of Texas psychology professor David Buss coined the term mate poaching to refer to people’s attraction to — and pursuit of — others who are in committed, presumably monogamous relationships. Buss and others have found cross-cultural, cross-gender evidence for *mate poaching*, although men are more likely to report attempting it — and not a slim minority, either. One study found 60 percent of men and 38 women copped to attempting short-term mate poaching, i.e. hopping into bed with a “taken” somebody.


 I don't look down on all women or all men for an example in an article by any means......There are unscrupulous women in this world as well as unscrupulous men...we all need to be careful.


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## tracyishere

Actually I see that as a sign of weakness somebody with such low self esteem and self respect that they cannot foresee themselves ever being in a committed relationship so they enter into affairs essentially fulfilling their own prophecies.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123

SimplyAmorous said:


> I don't understand the offense to this..it's 1 article.. offering an example of the power view using the female ... I felt this was worthy of a discussion on this thread..beings it's about a woman's Goddess power at play....Yes, she was eyeing up a Married man...No that is likely not the norm...though google *wedding band + chick magnet*.. I wouldn't slap Misogyny-on every article, and there is plenty!
> 
> According to this >> The Wedding Ring Phenomenon  >> that would be a lesser 38% of single women in comparison to 60% of men doing it (below)...so to suggest it never happens...I am going to have a hard time agreeing with that.
> 
> 
> 
> I don't look down on all women or all men for an example in an article by any means......There are unscrupulous women in this world as well as unscrupulous men...we all need to be careful.


No offense to you. It just really doesn't bring true to me in terms of human behavior and sounds like it has a definite prejudice behind it.


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## soulsearch

*Re: Re: Sex Godess*



tracyishere said:


> A man's input is always welcome. I guess it could be a question for them as well? Male stripping..etc


I've done this twice. The first woman was awestruck, and couldn't compliment me enough on how sexy it was.

I did it for my wife, once. She laughed.

Never again.


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## 1lovingmarriage

lots of men want their wife to actually act that way, take control.


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## Hortensia

diwali123 said:


> Personally if I had a body that men would not boo off stage, I'd probably be more worried about getting my period during a lap dance.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## keeper63

*Re: Sex Goddess*

Several years ago, a single male co-worker of mine told me that he went to a jewelry store and bought himself a plain gold band to wear when he went out to bars and clubs. He claimed that many more women were interested in him when he wore the ring than when he didn't.

Until recently when I broke my ring finger, I always wore my band. Women would still flirt with me at bars, I know they saw my ring, but it didn't seem to deter them one bit.

Go figure...


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## Wiserforit

tracyishere said:


> Wow, I definitely have an altered perception of those women now. I didn't expect that they came from such terrible backgrounds. I always thought that they had a hyper sexuality and enjoyed what they did.
> Hmmm now who shall I envy?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, you are getting a lot of stereotypical rubbish.

Strippers vary considerably, from the worn-out hags at dive bars in poor towns to the top girls at high-end bars in wealthy cities/resort towns.

A number of girls in college are taking the one opportunity they know they have to rake in some serious quick cash - over a thousand a night easily - because their bodies are in prime condition. I don't see it as any different in principle than showgirls dressed scantily. Peddling their breasts just the same. 

The glory days industry-wide have been killed by the internet. Girls are online now from the safety and convenience of their own bedrooms. There is one site we occasionally watch together with girls that have upwards of three thousand guys watching at the same time, and the tips are just rolling in nonstop. 

What's pretty clear to me is that even the girls with really hot bodies, but that have sour attitudes don't get tips. It's the performers with smiles, laughter, and good attitudes that are raking in the money.


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## tracyishere

Well I wasn't interested in the money making aspect of it. It was the power. The idea that your body was a temple and you loved it and were confident enough in it to share it with others.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## I Notice The Details

For years, my wife and I used to get our haircut from a middle aged lady who moved her business out of a local mall into her own home. She saw many clients there, and was very proud of her beautifully decorated home. One day, she showed me the garage where her husband's brand new Harley was parked. I couldn't help but notice the pole mounted to the ceiling in her carpeted part of the garage, next to some mirrors on the wall. 

I asked her about the pole, and she simply said with a smile, "If you've got the body, use it....besides, my husband is the happiest man In the world. I put on a show for him just to remind him of that from time to time"

Her confidence struck me, and I was speechless! I could only wish that my wife had this kind of self confidence about her own body. I told my wife about it, and on her next haircut, she was shown the pole in the garage. They both tried it out and did some exercises on it, but my wife quickly concluded that it wasn't her "cup of tea".....if it was, I would be installing one in our bedroom in about a millisecond....maybe right next to the Tantra Chair that we don't have either...


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## tracyishere

That's awesome! I love how your wife was willing to give it a try. What a trooper. She may not be into it if she is anything like me and looks like a fish out of water when I dance. It's safer to stay away from that pole, trust me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bunny23

What amazes me is that sex is okay as long as it's manipulated by an industry and really gives women unrealistic standards to live up to...

But any healthy expression of sex or a nude women on the beach? And OMG breast feeding in public? Wayyyy too sexual...

Meanwhile we have bras and sexy undies for 9 year olds...
someone mentioned anal bleaching, there is a great 20/20 episode that shows 13 year old girls getting bikini waxes, 6 year old eyebrows waxed etc.


----------



## tracyishere

I agree bunny. Our bodies are natural. As far as I know there is no other species that "wears" items to hide their appearance. It's bizarre really.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Created2Write

I think women should be empowered and confident because of who they are, not what they can or can't do with their bodies or what they look like. 

That said, I've stripped for my husband and fell in love with it. I felt like an idiot the first time and almost cried from holding in my laughter. I was blushing like crazy and thought, for sure, I must look stupid. Turns out my husband thought it was the sexiest thing ever. He said that me blushing, while still giving it my all, showed that I cared about pleasing him, instead of just giving it a half-hearted try. I'd looked up instructional videos and made a basic dance that he loved. 

So, for those who are comfortable doing something like that, I absolutely think they can be sex goddesses. And for those who aren't into that at all, they can be sex goddesses in _their_ way. It's about confidence, imo, and being willing to try something you wouldn't have thought of yourself.


----------



## tracyishere

I think being confident includes how you view yourself in all aspects. Don't you think you would feel so much more confident if you absolutely loved yourself inside and out? That when you look in the mirror you see no flaws just beauty in its natural state. I'm not saying you need to be a flaunter or stripper to feel this way, I was assuming that that was how these women felt about themselves. Wrong assumption. But, I still find the most beauty in people who are not trying to be sexy or hot, the most beautiful people to me are the ones who are the most comfortable in themselves. Who shine confidence, love and happiness in every room they walk into. Just saying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## I Notice The Details

tracyishere said:


> But, I still find the most beauty in people who are not trying to be sexy or hot, the most beautiful people to me are the ones who are the most comfortable in themselves. Who shine confidence, love and happiness in every room they walk into. Just saying.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree: 1000% Very well said tracyishere! The most beautiful ladies are the ones who don't quite know that they are gorgeous. They are just comfortable in their own skin, and it shows. Guys pick up on this confidence. It is very sexy!


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## tracyishere

Even I find women sexy who have this ability. It's like a magnet, they draw me in. Not that I'm sexually aroused though, more like awestruck at their beauty.

Men who have this...usually find themselves next to me (in my dreams that is)


----------



## always_alone

tracyishere said:


> But, I still find the most beauty in people who are not trying to be sexy or hot, the most beautiful people to me are the ones who are the most comfortable in themselves. Who shine confidence, love and happiness in every room they walk into. Just saying.


:iagree:

So the question then becomes how to get there. Not necessarily stripping because, frankly, that is striving to be hot, and largely for external validation, which is no substitute for finding it within.

I wish I had the answer, but I only have a few random thoughts:

Comparing yourself to to others virtually guarantees that you'll find ways that you fall short, as does scrutinizing every pore. 

There's a lot to be said for appreciating what you do have, even (especially?) the little things. So much is truly awful in this world, but if we wallow too long in the muck, it becomes difficult to wash off. And there's so much that is beautiful and magical as well, if only we are open to it.

I suspect the people you speak of spend very little time worrying about themselves or their flaws and much more time in exploring and enjoying all that surrounds them.


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## tracyishere

Interesting reply! I love it!! Taking each moment as it comes. Embracing it. I also think these people have a desire to help others. Perhaps that's why I am drawn to them. They are not selfish and in fact are quiet the opposite
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## always_alone

tracyishere said:


> I also think these people have a desire to help others. Perhaps that's why I am drawn to them. They are not selfish and in fact are quiet the opposite


:iagree:

I think people in this society tend to radically underestimate the importance of "spirit" or "soul" (or whatever you call that inner self) to beauty and attractiveness.


----------



## tracyishere

Agreed. Gosh, I love how you think!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DesertRat1978

ntamph said:


> I know you wanted women to respond but......
> 
> Speaking as a man, this has little to do with your body or things like that. It's all attitude. If you put in the effort and will power to be this for a man and he doesn't appreciate it, then you can do better.
> 
> I think all men want a confident woman.


I agree. The women that I have been the most attracted to have not been super models or strippers. They were just normal women that fit what I like physically but also had confidence and were a bit feisty.


----------



## tracyishere

I think it is hard for women to feel confident in themselves. I often find myself comparing aspects of myself with other women. A internal competition if you will that often leaves me feeling insecure about myself.

I think by challenging those thoughts and viewing others not as competition but as unique and beautiful, I would feel so much better.

The power of positive thinking


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## diwali123

I like to mentally pretend I'm a lesbian. Lol. That way there's no competition. 
It just is what it is.


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## bandit.45

Pics please.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tracyishere

bandit.45 said:


> Pics please.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why? So you can compare?!!!! LMAO. Or maybe it's only the ugly that feel this way?!!!! Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omgitselaine

Having had stripped for numerous ex's and my husband now i can say that the look on a guy's face as you sloooowly take off each article of clothing until one's butt naked and then to dance around in 4 inch heels ........ is sooooo empowering and did give me the confidence to know that he'd just do anyyyything for me right now


----------



## tracyishere

I believe it!! Too bad the only look I got was a desperate attempt to hold in a mouthful of laughter!! Haha! Either way it was entertaining.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## badbane

omgitselaine said:


> Having had stripped for numerous ex's and my husband now i can say that the look on a guy's face as you sloooowly take off each article of clothing until one's butt naked and then to dance around in 4 inch heels ........ is sooooo empowering and did give me the confidence to know that he'd just do anyyyything for me right now


that's just not fair. not fair.


----------



## badbane

tracyishere said:


> I believe it!! Too bad the only look I got was a desperate attempt to hold in a mouthful of laughter!! Haha! Either way it was entertaining.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't stop doing it. Look it takes time to learn how to be seductive. My wife stopped trying to seduce me entirely. I ask her to put effort in but nope. She stopped and it is so frustrating. When she puts on a show for me it makes me feel special. Even if she can't quite pull it off it is the effort that counts.


----------



## tracyishere

No thanks. Once was humiliating enough. There are plenty of ways to be seductive though, and I'm not terrible at all of them! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## PreRaphaelite

I think I've known 2 sex goddesses in my life and neither of them were head-turners. They were both kind of shy and quiet and didn't have incredibles bodies, but when I took them in my arms and I felt their uninhibited sexuality and the way they just wanted to let go, I was completely taken. I'd trade all the 38DD strippers in the world for that.


----------



## kimd

omgitselaine said:


> Having had stripped for numerous ex's and my husband now i can say that the look on a guy's face as you sloooowly take off each article of clothing until one's butt naked and then to dance around in 4 inch heels ........ is sooooo empowering and did give me the confidence to know that he'd just do anyyyything for me right now


Yes the heels and thigh highs get my husband every time. I could hang a 20 pound weight on his stiffy. I wear them to bed to give him that extra treat.


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## tracyishere

kimd said:


> Yes the heels and thigh highs get my husband every time. I could hang a 20 pound weight on his stiffy. I wear them to bed to give him that extra treat.


20lbs hey.....


----------



## Jellybeans

tracyishere said:


> Have you ever desired to be like a stripper, porn star etc? To have that confidence with yourself, your body and sex? To feel desired and fantasized by men?
> 
> I always find myself admiring women who can do such things. I imagine they must feel so powerful to have such influence on men.
> 
> Am I Cuckoo or what?


No. Never have I ever wanted to be a porn star. 

Strip for my lover in private --that is different. Be the object of someone's fantasy? that is different.

But selling my body for sex. FCK no. That does nothing for me.


----------



## TikiKeen

Jumping to the end, and then I'll go back and read.

I'm a former stripper, and am now 20lbs heavier than when I married. i'd been away from the job for 9 years when I married H.

I was drunk most of the time, not to do the job, but because I simply didn't like to feel. it was a job which allowed me to drink. The illusion of power built my ego more than anything else did. I banked. I also blew a lot of money on addiction.

In all the years I've been married, I've given him ONE lap dance. He's my husband, not a client. My esteem from having a great body is isn't there, but I still have esteem from basic confidence. I'd love to have more body confidence again, and I will. My breasts have always been smallish, so my success in that field depended more on seduction and face appearance than on my t!ts.

Dancing is more about eye contact, communication and the _game_ of seduction than it is about looking awesome. I've been to clubs in the past year to catch up with old bosses (we're all sober now), and I see that there is more variety in body size, appearance, and even disability, than there used to be. 

I still have "the walk" and "the gaze", and I'm ok with that.

My guy doesn't like heels, lingerie, etc., and has never said it has anything to do with my past. On the contrary, that's his issue to work around. I wear these things for me, not him, although I'd welcome his enjoying them! He's never said I'm a sex Goddess, but even with our low frequency, he shows it every time.


----------



## tracyishere

Thank you for sharing that.


----------



## Caribbean Man

TikiKeen said:


> Dancing is more about eye contact, communication and the _game_ of seduction than it is about looking awesome.


My thoughts exactly.
And so too , the entire notion of " sexual attractiveness ."


----------



## RandomDude

STBX taught me to pole dance 

One of our secrets really... but for exercise and toning I can't recommend it enough. I just don't recommend it often for men for obvious reasons!


----------



## ocotillo

tracyishere said:


> Have you ever desired to be like a stripper, porn star etc? To have that confidence with yourself, your body and sex? To feel desired and fantasized by men?
> 
> I always find myself admiring women who can do such things. I imagine they must feel so powerful to have such influence on men.
> 
> Am I Cuckoo or what?



Nice bodies are nice, but my own personal observation (Other people's mileage may vary) is that ladies in those occupations have an especially low opinion of men. 

Frankly, that is a far, far bigger turn off than their nice body might be a turn on


----------



## tracyishere

RandomDude said:


> STBX taught me to pole dance
> 
> One of our secrets really... but for exercise and toning I can't recommend it enough. I just don't recommend it often for men for obvious reasons!


Prove it!


----------



## RandomDude

Prove a secret? It's a secret for a reason!

Besides I'm a masculine dude, this is one aspect of feminity that is allowed only as a secret between STBX and I.


----------



## tracyishere

RandomDude said:


> Prove a secret? It's a secret for a reason!
> 
> Besides I'm a masculine dude, this is one aspect of feminity that is allowed only as a secret between STBX and I.


BOO! I'm sure we'd appreciate it more than your STBX....


----------



## RandomDude

Sure, appreciate the humor no doubt -.-

Besides its not erotic, it's exercise


----------



## TikiKeen

Lower abs! The pole is great for that!

lol...we have a storage building out back on our land...with a stripper pole in it. Sadly, it also has the largest wasps' nest I've ever seen.

i do know that for me, the only men I did and do hold in lower standing are the ones who routinely refer to women as b!tches, wh*res or C**ts. _Boys_ like that exist everywhere, not just in clubs. ****-shaming women for dancing incites me because I wasn't less-than then and certainly am not now. I'd rather sell the illusion of attraction than work on Wall Street; there's more integrity in dancing. That's my opinion.

My best clients actually taught me a lot about sales techniques, being direct, negotiating, and the value not of 'sex', but of the freedom of having fetishes accepted. My best clients were suit types who loved tattoos, had shoe fetishes, or wanted kinky political talk, but were afraid to ask for it within dating or marriage. These men needed therapists and possibly more open-minded spouses, not strippers.

This whole thread speaks to how uptight America is on the whole concerning sex. We don't teach it as part of biology or health classes in my state any more. the vigin/***** dichotomy is still alive and well, and some sort of strange bounty is still placed on an intact hymen as being an indicator of virtuous women. WTH is wrong with us that we can't communicate clearly about wants, needs, desires and fun?


----------



## tracyishere

RandomDude said:


> Sure, appreciate the humor no doubt -.-
> 
> Besides its not erotic, it's exercise


Sure it is....


----------



## tracyishere

TikiKeen said:


> QUOTE]
> 
> I agree.


----------



## RandomDude

> Lower abs! The pole is great for that!


Aye, and it's the toughest abs to work out, I had a four pack and somewhat chicken legs until the pole that got me a six pack and toned my whole body. It also granted me alot of strength for standing positions which STBX demanded alot of.

Argh, but don't tell anyone


----------



## tracyishere

RandomDude said:


> Aye, and it's the toughest abs to work out, I had a four pack and somewhat chicken legs until the pole that got me a six pack and toned my whole body. It also granted me alot of strength for standing positions which STBX demanded alot of.
> 
> Argh, but don't tell anyone


I don't believe it until I see it


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## RandomDude

Quit trying to perv! lol


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## tracyishere

RandomDude said:


> Quit trying to perv! lol


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## RandomDude




----------



## diwali123

TikiKeen said:


> Lower abs! The pole is great for that!
> 
> lol...we have a storage building out back on our land...with a stripper pole in it. Sadly, it also has the largest wasps' nest I've ever seen.
> 
> i do know that for me, the only men I did and do hold in lower standing are the ones who routinely refer to women as b!tches, wh*res or C**ts. _Boys_ like that exist everywhere, not just in clubs. ****-shaming women for dancing incites me because I wasn't less-than then and certainly am not now. I'd rather sell the illusion of attraction than work on Wall Street; there's more integrity in dancing. That's my opinion.
> 
> My best clients actually taught me a lot about sales techniques, being direct, negotiating, and the value not of 'sex', but of the freedom of having fetishes accepted. My best clients were suit types who loved tattoos, had shoe fetishes, or wanted kinky political talk, but were afraid to ask for it within dating or marriage. These men needed therapists and possibly more open-minded spouses, not strippers.
> 
> This whole thread speaks to how uptight America is on the whole concerning sex. We don't teach it as part of biology or health classes in my state any more. the vigin/***** dichotomy is still alive and well, and some sort of strange bounty is still placed on an intact hymen as being an indicator of virtuous women. WTH is wrong with us that we can't communicate clearly about wants, needs, desires and fun?


What on earth is kinky political talk?


----------



## TikiKeen

lol...don't ask. It paid well and I got keep my clothes on. win WIN!

It involved telling fantasies of then-current politicians. 

Overall, it made me sad to see such a huge disconnect and cognitive dissonance among these men between huge mental desire and effectively communicating and asking for it from their own partners. I nearly became a sexologist after that job. If those guys were representative of the population, we're scre*ed, and not in a good way.


----------



## diwali123

TikiKeen said:


> lol...don't ask. It paid well and I got keep my clothes on. win WIN!
> 
> It involved telling fantasies of then-current politicians.
> 
> Overall, it made me sad to see such a huge disconnect and cognitive dissonance among these men between huge mental desire and effectively communicating and asking for it from their own partners. I nearly became a sexologist after that job. If those guys were representative of the population, we're scre*ed, and not in a good way.


What???? That's hilarious! Like they wanted to hear stories about what male politicians would do? 

The US was started by Puritans and we haven't recovered.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

TikiKeen said:


> This whole thread speaks to how uptight America is on the whole concerning sex. We don't teach it as part of biology or health classes in my state any more. the vigin/***** dichotomy is still alive and well, and some sort of strange bounty is still placed on an intact hymen as being an indicator of virtuous women. WTH is wrong with us that we can't communicate clearly about wants, needs, desires and fun?


I guess there is something wrong with my husband... he respected me more for waiting till marriage for intercourse, it meant a great deal to him... We both feel it's a very beautiful thing, wanting to save ourselves for that one special person who we'd spend the rest of our lives with. 

I married a very good man...


----------



## diwali123

SimplyAmorous said:


> I guess there is something wrong with my husband... he respected me more for waiting till marriage for intercourse, it meant a great deal to him... We both feel it's a very beautiful thing, wanting to save ourselves for that one special person who we'd spend the rest of our lives with.
> 
> I married a very good man...


That's great for you, but the divorce rate is the highest in the Bible Belt states and many who are trying to solve the problem are convinced it's because young people are told not to have sex until marriage so they marry the first person they want to have sex with at a young age.


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## TikiKeen

Other high rates in the Belt: remarriage, liquor store-to-church ratios are highest, teen pregnancy is higher, dropout rates are higher, and general crime rates are too. Their heterosexual STI rates are also higher than nearly all NW and NE states. (I'm willing to bet incarceration rates, drug overdose rates and suicide rates don't differ too much from the rest of the country though.) I'll link the CDC, FBI and Census stuff if asked. My point is that giving kids messages like "purity above all" is often accompanied by other damaging messages, like "don't have sex" instead of comprehensive, life-saving sex ed. Frankly, school need a Life Skills 101 class. 

SimplyAmourous, as great as it is to wait for that one special person, I was referring to the value society places on "purity" equaling "clean" or "better than others". I'm pretty sure I'm still awesome even though I definitely had no hymen when I married my H. (I had kids then, so there is definitely a joke in that statement.) 

The message "don't have sex before marriage" gives to girls is that their bodies are their worth, ignoring their entire beings. It undermines their decision-making, leaving them to battle against gut instincts with little information. Few religious congregations even discuss anything beyond doctrinal approaches, which then leaves kids in a spiritual lurch as well.

Anecdotally, you've hit the jackpot with an amazing guy. But please bear in mind that you two are the exception to the statistical rule. That doesn't mean you're wrong or bad or weird, just rare.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

diwali123 said:


> That's great for you, but the divorce rate is the highest in the Bible Belt states and many who are trying to solve the problem are convinced it's because young people are told not to have sex until marriage so they marry the first person they want to have sex with at a young age.


And you are concerned about these people? Ya know...there is 2 camps here...and on both sides of the aisle... there are issues.. ..those who choose to wait for sex (lets be honest, religion or non, MOST DO NOT WAIT [email protected]#$%%)... We didn't wait for orgasms.. and though I took some shame from the church for that, it wasn't enough for us to stop ... we felt good about what we did...our emotional connection grew and we still had something new to look forward to.... 

If I would have broken up with him, my future husband would still be the only one who entered me.. the man who gave me his ALL...his heart, his life...his children.. the one worthy to have all of me... if this sounds vain...so be it... I see at pure love for the man you marry...that HE meant THAT MUCH. There is nothing wrong with this view.. 

If people are motivated by fear of God striking them dead to not engage in sexual play -this is great manipulation, it's an ugly view point, I'm not going to disagree with you.. Sex is beautiful.....but there is a time and a place.. we as individuals must decide where our personal boundaries are in that... those who wait get the put downs today... 

They get made fun of...I know as I've talked to some of them. 

I also have issues with the church stance on Purity, I did a thread on the "Silver Ring thing" because I feel it goes TOO FAR and sets our kids up for falling...I am not a NUN by any means. 

I will never understand why everyone (church vs. the world)... seems to think they need to embrace Puritanism to the point of *repression* or just go the casual sex route so highly praised today....everyone make sure you get your experience honey, here is the birth control at age 15.... get it out of your system.... this too can invite problems as well..in your marriages... Do you want me to go there? 

Both sides have their issues.... I just don't take lightly those who want to stomp on our views --this world is big enough for us ALL..... just be careful who you attach yourself to...there is nothing wrong with men who prefer a girl who is wanting to wait for one man... though Good luck finding one of these days...it's almost a joke...then she might be Low Drive on top of that... (a huge concern all men should [email protected]#$)...I have 5 sons, you think I want them met with that fate? Hell no! 

... I didn't want a man who slept around either... that was my preference...though I did want him to love sex. Maybe that sounds counterproductive to some of you... but really...it's deeply embedded in the Romantic view of sexuality.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

TikiKeen said:


> The message "don't have sex before marriage" gives to girls is that their bodies are their worth, ignoring their entire beings. It undermines their decision-making, leaving them to battle against gut instincts with little information. Few religious congregations even discuss anything beyond doctrinal approaches, which then leaves kids in a spiritual lurch as well.


 Yes...the church has shown great ignorance on sexuality to our young people......I have taken some time to studying the roots of this ...seems it started with St Augustine .... he was a womanizer and in changing his ways...he went WAY OVERBOARD *Perverting sex*, then he started writing about it !.....Before embracing Christianity, he was greatly influenced by another religion that was against the body/how our flesh is a scurge /sinful (too lazy to look this up right now, it starts with M)... this tainted his views no doubt...and he was hailed as this great Theologian.. handing us the "Original Sin" doctrine that so many embrace in our church pews.....

I don't agree with these things.. mind you.

I will never call myself a christian again ...way too many creed issues for me....... 



> The message "don't have sex before marriage" gives to girls is that their bodies are their worth, ignoring their entire beings. It undermines their decision-making, leaving them to battle against gut instincts with little information. Few religious congregations even discuss anything beyond doctrinal approaches, which then leaves kids in a spiritual lurch as well.


 But some of us did seek information, I was one of those girls.. .not someone led blindly... maybe this again, makes me RARE... I wouldn't argue that.... not everyone sees out of same sexual lens, this does not mean their view is less viable ...*our foundation **to what sex represents to us could be very different*...and like minded people should gravitate to each other ... 

Personally (for ME)....I don't feel one has to wait till marriage, this just means I do not hold the *covenant view* of sex.. (The 6 Sexual views explained *>>* HERE - I feel all of these should be taught in school as well...would you disagree ?) 

When I read this book... every word expressed on *the Romantic view* was how Me & my husband felt...very strongly....this author captured it beautifully.... just as others who share different views... I bet she explained it well..... We do NOT all think alike on this... and it's OK...I refuse to demean other people's views. Not expecting you to agree here...but every view has it's potential problems.... affecting our marriages down the road -depending...but these too....are in different areas. 

As to our young people....I guess the question is WHY do they feel that way, does it come from something *inside of them* or *outside of them* -feeling pressure to live UP TO certain ideas that they resent, war against their minds, their bodies ?? I had enough *self awareness* in my youth, I could have written a thesis on why I felt as I did.... though I will admit watching how my Mother Fvcked her life up with* User men* had a hand in that....(post #2 in my story below - in signature)....

It's much more often that young people are influenced to GIVE IT UP, get it OVER with....virginity is a plague, something to be embarrassed of... as "everyone else is doing it...what the hell is wrong with you?"... seems to me no one is knocking how this pressure is praised ?? We just look on , but want to damn the religionists... There is a superior balance here and wisdom for our young people. Sex has the awesome power to create new life, it should never be taken lightly. 




> SimplyAmourous, as great as it is to wait for that one special person, I was referring to the value society places on "purity" equaling "clean" or "better than others".


 In my husband's words, as far as clean.. their is no risk of the virgin having STD's (unless she is lying of course)...and he feels if a woman feels this strongly and lives accordingly, she is more trustworthy in the area of SEX... HIS WORDS...not mine...Does this make me a better person in other ways....hell NO....a virgin can be a Bi*ch just like anyone else, or be a low driving PRUDE who can wreck a man's life to where he'll feel he is in a prison after the vows (all men should be careful ).......and a girl whose had 30 partners before marriage could have just been looking for Love, had a bigger heart even.... devoting her life to helping others...and make a wonderful wife... can one thing define us...of course [email protected]#$

But some things are important to men...it is up to us as individuals what is important to us... I wanted a man who could NOT separate Love from Sex...if he slept around, lovin' & leaving them - deal [email protected]# -I saw that as a character issue...our views on sex would have been world's apart.. I also wanted a man who wanted to marry young ....so we could be banging !


----------



## RandomDude

SimplyAmorous said:


> Yes...the church has shown great ignorance on sexuality to our young people......I have taken some time to studying the roots of this ...seems it started with St Augustine .... he was a womanizer and in changing his ways...he went WAY OVERBOARD *Perverting sex*, then he started writing about it !.....Before embracing Christianity, he was greatly influenced by another religion that was against the body/how our flesh is a scurge /sinful (too lazy to look this up right now, it starts with M)... this tainted his views no doubt...and he was hailed as this great Theologian.. handing us the "Original Sin" doctrine that so many embrace in our church pews.....
> 
> I don't agree with these things.. mind you.
> 
> I will never call myself a christian again ...way too many creed issues for me.......


=/

So that's what it's all about.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

RandomDude said:


> *So that's what it's all about.*


Not sure what you mean RD....the St Augustine thing? 

Taken from my Repression thread - a little info



> *SimplyAmorous said*:
> 
> Have you read up on the Great & MIghty St Augustine (354-430) - Considered the "Doctor of the Church" & his " The Confessions" *equating even sex IN marraige as "unclean" -except for Procreation*. If anyones influential writings have contributed to a
> "*sex is dirty*" attitude in Christianity, it started with HIM !
> 
> Many blame his OBSESSION with women & wild sexual excapades of his youth-even having a mistress & child out of wedlock , before conversion - also his studying with the *Manichees* and their belief that the body/flesh was the cause of all evil .
> 
> Obviously we know he went TOO FAR with these things, but I wonder if anyone in the Catholic Church, any Popes have denounced these specific teachings ??? Just as they have denounced the Idea of "LIMBO" in the last 25 yrs (I forget when) -another example of the craziness that comes from the "Original Sin Doctrine" -- that "debate" won by this same St Augustine, over his rival Pelaguis. (I take the side of  Pelagius  personally ...which basically makes me a Heretic !)
> 
> Neither one of these articles are too long...take a moment *>>*
> 
> AUGUSTINE ON LOVE AND SEX
> 
> The Sex Animal Named Augustine


----------



## TikiKeen

Augustine was a freak. First, he was a womanizing freak, then a righteous freak. I remember reading somewhere (I think was "Born of a Woman" by Bishop Spong, retired Episcopal Bishop.)

Actually, virgins can have STI's. 80% of Americans carry HSVI, AKA "Mouth herpes" or "the Grandma disease". Not knowing they have it, it can be passed via oral sex to both mouth and genitals while still retaining it's viral signature as Type I. 

My mom was a Christian Faith and Human Sexuality instructor for The Methodist Church. Even with all the "right" teachings, I didn't wait until marriage and was shamed for choosing to have sex as a teen, with a guy I didn't love. The up side is that my husband obviously knew I wasn't a virgin (remarried after having kids), and he didn't think less of me. 

When we begin adding exceptions like "Well it's okay because she has kids" or "she's a widow", it shows the hypocrisy of shaming women and girls for unmarried sex. that's certainly not to say that the choice to wait is wrong, because it's definitely not. The choice to ****-shame, however, *is* wrong.

Expecting women to be sex goddesses, developing only with one man every time, is unrealistic. I learned both positive and negative things in a few years of promiscuity. I married a guy who didn't care about those years, but wanted to know what my values (and skills, lol) are now. he never saw me as "used", "worn out" etc. 

Also, there are other religions besides Catholicism who believe sex should only be reserved for baby-making. the Hare Krishnas are one of them. For me, when the onus of purity is placed only on one partner, and when sex is deemed as a religious act rather than in its truthful biological base, humans suffer. For me, full sexual expression is both spiritual and physical, and to ignore one means the experience is incomplete. When I was into ONS's, I has happy with the experiences, although I didn't share spirituality with my partners. it was just mine.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

TikiKeen said:


> When we begin adding exceptions like "Well it's okay because she has kids" or "she's a widow", it shows the hypocrisy of shaming women and girls for unmarried sex. that's certainly not to say that the choice to wait is wrong, because it's definitely not. The choice to ****-shame, however, *is* wrong.


 To assume that every man **** shames who has a *Covenant* or *Romantic view* of sex is also wrong for you to assume....it's in everyone's Right to choose the type of mate they want..(experienced or NON)...for life long bonding and marriage...for whatever reasons they want as well...

And how right you are, MANY MANY men today would rather be with *the expereinced* Sex Goddess.. I only posted because I feel MY VIEWS....and the type of man I Married was being trampled on...and I don't particularly LIKE THAT. 

Many of these men (including my husband) wouldn't even open their mouth to utter a nasty word to any of these women... it's the Playboys who do this more so .... they F***K 'em, then they talk behind their backs... 

You think I have any respect for that...it's vile and it's UGLY...it's a double standard, I don't believe in that....Not the type of men who choose to live a certain way, then also prefer women who do the same. Though this is pretty rare to find today, I've give you [email protected]#

The vast majority of my friends ARE Christians, the downing of the Bible Belt painted so vividly by you and Diwali123 is not what I have seen or experienced in life at all..... most of the people I know have solid marriages, great kids... we don't hang with anyone who does drugs and the like...We give large bonfires every year to 2 youth groups on our property.... I never have any trouble with the sort of teens who come to our house...likely because of their upbringing..and the values they have been taught. I will not belittle these people...



> Also, there are other religions besides Catholicism who believe sex should only be reserved for baby-making. the Hare Krishnas are one of them. For me, when the onus of purity is placed only on one partner, and when sex is deemed as a religious act rather than in its truthful biological base, humans suffer. For me, full sexual expression is both spiritual and physical, and to ignore one means the experience is incomplete. When I was into ONS's, I has happy with the experiences, although I didn't share spirituality with my partners. it was just mine.


 Ok....you said *FOR ME* twice here.... so this is good... you are only stating a position.. an opinion... just as we have ours.


----------



## 71card

This subject is very simple but extremely difficult to handle. Looking at sex from a natural law viewpoint, the primary purpose is to propagate the species. To ensure its success, it was made to be pleasurable - both the attraction phase and the copulation phase. Orgasm heightens the pleasure and physically aids in the fertilization process. The pleasure CAN be a very strong bonding force between the man and woman IF it occurs in the proper context - love.

Throughout history successful civil societies were built around the family unit. Again, like many other species, we humans were made to be lifetime partners. This union of marriage has been recognized as such by religious and civil organizations. So, where does the difficulty come in? 

Not being a marriage counselor and limiting to the scope of this thread, the simple answer is, IMO, different expectations. These can be discussed before marriage. Keep in mind that sex without love will doom a marriage to failure. The greatest test of love is to be able to temper one's STRONG physical drives out of respect and love for one another. That is very difficult. God is very forgiving. He might even forgive people like Augustine, St. Paul and me. 

That suggests the next point. When is sex 'right'? So far I have said its purposes are to propagate the species and to bond the marriage. Is it right other than that? The simple answer is 'NO'. The simple truth is that 99+% of humans have willing proactive extramarital sexual experiences. Does that make it right? The simple answer is 'NO'. Again, God is very forgiving. 

From an historical perspective, it is easy to see what happens to societies that take a casual attitude toward sex and family values. Look what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah. The mighty Roman Empire fell due to it trying to be the family instead of being the government and due to decadence typified by Caligula. Look what happened to the World when The Third Reich tried to become the parents and controllers of 'Die Leute'. 

There was mention in this thread about pornography. It was mentioned that it is wrong for it to become more important than the sexual union between the married couple. I agree. It is even more damaging to the porn 'actors'. There are millions of kidnapped slaves who are performing in this 'entertainment' genre and straight prostitution. Why? The answer is simple but, again, very difficult. 

The worldwide lust for sex supports modern slavery. What must be done about it? What will happen if it continues unabated? The answer is simple. When the United States redirects its moral compass by rejecting casual sex as 'just another form of entertainment' and strengthens the family unit its government is willfully destroying, our once great country will have a chance to recover.

If not ..... auf wiedersehen.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

71card said:


> When the United States redirects its moral compass by rejecting casual sex as 'just another form of entertainment' and strengthens the family unit its government is willfully destroying, our once great country will have a chance to recover.


I enjoyed your well thought out post 71 card...

I am too much of a REALIST to believe this will ever happen, we are too busy rebelling against the religionists to see any validity .....though I so agree with your words...as I watch the institution of Marriage and the traditional family structure slowly die...


----------



## RandomDude

SimplyAmorous said:


> I enjoyed your well thought out post 71 card...
> 
> I am too much of a REALIST to believe this will ever happen, we are too busy rebelling against the religionists to see any validity .....though I so agree with your words*...as I watch the institution of Marriage and the traditional family structure slowly die...*


No thanks to me soon to be driving around with a "Marriage is the number one cause of divorce" sticker on my car


----------



## SimplyAmorous

RandomDude said:


> No thanks to me soon to be driving around with a "*Marriage is the number one cause of divorce*" sticker on my car


Whomever is marketing that Bumper sticker will make a MINT too Random Dude !!


----------



## TikiKeen

Oh dear. I see I'm not in good company at all.

SimplyAmorous, I never once said "All men". not once. Do not put words in my mouth. Just because I disagree with you does not mean I'm "trampling" on your mate or marriage. The reality is that as awesome is the bond of marriage and as intense as is that relationship, that bond and intensity can be had minus an actual ceremony and minus any religious input whatsoever. It really is a construct and a choice. Over mankind's history it has served multiple purposes, some of which were not good for the women, and some of which financially benefitted religion. My "downing of the Bible Belt" was statistical fact. It doesn't mean awesome people don't live there. It means that percentage-wise, more people don't practice what they preach there. Again, it was not a personal attack on you. You're choosing to feel that it is. The reality is that 'we' as a society do shame women and girls who are sexually active outside marriage, while holding men to a congratulatory standard. 

Linking a girl or woman's worth and value to the action of sex is one end of the same objectifying spectrum which houses "sex sells" on the other end. Both are damaging to girls by reducing them to objects to be scorned or help up, and are black & white thinking. 

Now that 71 has brought the government into this, I'm out. Porn doesn't ruin marriage, nor drugs, nor booze. It's all based in selfishness. And our government is not responsible for indviduals' choices to screw up their marriages. That would take away accountability away from humans who most definitely should experience it.

A true sex goddess, regardless of where she is relationship-wise, values those she's with and has the goal of not damaging them. That requires communication and motives which align with whatever actions she takes. 

My leaving this conversation doesn't imply "Tiki's defeated." On the contrary; it means logic isn't being received, so I won't waste my time in the conversation now that words really have been put in my mouth. SA, once you went there, it showed me that your goal is to talk from the perspective of an attacked victim, not to have a discussion. I don't "do" logical fallacies.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

Just one last note, I do not feel like a victim, not at all... just another perspective... Your views are far more popular today over mine....and will continue to be so...

I just hold a small candle for some of those who feel like they don't fit in anymore and get ridiculed for choosing an older fashioned view on sexuality in this day & age...they have their troubles too...

Appreciate your posts none the less.


----------



## just got it 55

ntamph said:


> I know you wanted women to respond but......
> 
> Speaking as a man, this has little to do with your body or things like that. It's all attitude. If you put in the effort and will power to be this for a man and he doesn't appreciate it, then you can do better.
> 
> I think all men want a confident woman.


Yes Ladies it's all about the attitude


----------



## just got it 55

Phenix70 said:


> I AM a sex goddess, with my H of course.
> He's enthusiasm has allowed my own to flourish, it's such an empowering feeling to see his reaction to me.
> When you have that "safety net", you can be anything you want.
> The H wants a lap dance?
> He's going to get one.
> He wants me to wear a costume & fcuk me heels around the house?
> I'm picking out outfits & putting on stockings.
> Because he loves me & loves sex with me, I want to keep us both satisfied, because it makes me feel good to do so.
> I'm his Sex Goddess & I love it.


I bet the house he's a happy man


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## I Notice The Details

just got it 55 said:


> I bet the house he's a happy man


:iagree: Very lucky man right there....


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## just got it 55

Originally Posted by Phenix70 View Post 
I AM a sex goddess, with my H of course.
He's enthusiasm has allowed my own to flourish, it's such an empowering feeling to see his reaction to me.
When you have that "safety net", you can be anything you want.
The H wants a lap dance?
He's going to get one.
He wants me to wear a costume & fcuk me heels around the house?
I'm picking out outfits & putting on stockings. 
Because he loves me & loves sex with me, I want to keep us both satisfied, because it makes me feel good to do so.
I'm his Sex Goddess & I love it.


And the fact that you love it makes it 10X as sweet


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## rush

hum............


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## Thunder7

FrenchFry said:


> Sorry for the deletions, but please keep the politics in the politics section.


Damn. See what I miss when I'm gone for a few days?


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> Ya, but i would be thinking "OMG, they can see me naked". To not be thinking that takes something special.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i agree. i never would have the guts to strip in a public forum or streak or anything like that


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> :smthumbup:
> 
> I just wanted to clarify that I am not lacking in the self confidence department- with my H. I am definitely not shy about putting on my sex God show for him. But, (as it should be) I could not fathom doing it for a bunch of strangers. That's why I was in such awe of those who could.
> 
> I did the striptease dance ONCE. It was a cross between a foal learning to stand and a monkey on a trampoline. Sexy? No! Entertaining Yes! Thankfully my H just sat and smiled- and about a month later burst out laughing!!!


good for u. i never even did that


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## tracyishere

kilgore said:


> good for u. i never even did that


I thought I was sexy! I wish I could've seen myself. Lol


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> I thought I was sexy! I wish I could've seen myself. Lol


if nothing else, i admire the gutsiness, poo.

like i said, i could never, i don't think


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## tracyishere

kilgore said:


> if nothing else, i admire the gutsiness, poo.
> 
> like i said, i could never, i don't think


Oh the things you do for love...


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> Oh the things you do for love...


maybe i will someday, but it would take guts, or booze.


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## tracyishere

kilgore said:


> maybe i will someday, but it would take guts, or booze.


Well I hope you perform better than I did.


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> Well I hope you perform better than I did.


maybe i will manscape first. lol. i would NEVER


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## tracyishere

kilgore said:


> maybe i will manscape first. lol. i would NEVER


I don't know. Thinking about it now kinda appeals to me. I think a man with moves could be a real turn on.


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> I don't know. Thinking about it now kinda appeals to me. I think a man with moves could be a real turn on.


maybe. but would need booze. but no manscaping.


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> I don't know. Thinking about it now kinda appeals to me. I think a man with moves could be a real turn on.


and i am not a good dancer (not putting myself down - that is a fact)


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## tracyishere

kilgore said:


> and i am not a good dancer (not putting myself down - that is a fact)


I don't think you would need many fancy moves. All you would have to do is make her feel like she's at your centre of attention. After that every move you make will be signalling to her your desire. As long as you don't do the YMCA.


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> I don't think you would need many fancy moves. All you would have to do is make her feel like she's at your centre of attention. After that every move you make will be signalling to her your desire. As long as you don't do the YMCA.


i actually love being naked. love it. the getting undressed seductively part is weird for me.


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## tracyishere

kilgore said:


> i actually love being naked. love it. the getting undressed seductively part is weird for me.


Oh... I could so envision this. Bear with me. 

A button shirt with a white wife beater beneath and blue jeans and a belt. Maybe a chain necklace to draw more attention to his chest. 

Undo the top three or four buttons first then leave the rest. Get close to her and put his belt in her face as he undoes it and slides it out of his belt loops. Now they have something to play with. Maybe tie her hands so she can't touch him. That would be hot. 

Shall I continue or do you get the picture?


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## kilgore

tracyishere said:


> Oh... I could so envision this. Bear with me.
> 
> A button shirt with a white wife beater beneath and blue jeans and a belt. Maybe a chain necklace to draw more attention to his chest.
> 
> Undo the top three or four buttons first then leave the rest. Get close to her and put your belt in her face as you undo it and slide it out of your belt loops. Now you have something you or her can play with. Maybe tie her hands so she can't touch you. That would be hot.
> 
> Shall I continue or do you get the picture?


sounds good but i would laugh and so would she


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## tracyishere

kilgore said:


> sounds good but i would laugh and so would she


She wouldn't if you had that lust in your eye. My h could've been wearing a tutu today and I would've been aroused. Well, maybe not a tutu.. but you get my drift.


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## tracyishere

Perhaps we should have a Sex God thread?????


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## Jellybeans

Yes, please!


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## CouldItBeSo

LdyVenus said:


> Maybe... sometimes... Then I realize MOST of those women are desperate, broken, abused, and need alcohol/drugs to do what they do.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Porn Stars Are Just Like Us (Except Happier) | Nerve.com

_"A new study says female porn stars aren’t more damaged than the rest of us, and that’s upsetting a lot of long-held beliefs.

A longstanding cultural assumption holds that pornographic actresses arrive at porn via a history of emotional damage. After all, nobody who wanted to have sex for a living could possibly be all right in the head, right?

But a new study, published in the Journal for Sex Research, suggests that the so-called Damaged Goods Hypothesis (or DGH, which posits that "female performers in the adult entertainment industry have higher rates of childhood sexual abuse, psychological problems, and drug use compared to the typical woman") is flat-out wrong. Female porn stars experienced no more abuse than a matched sample, and *they were found to enjoy sex more, have higher levels of self-esteem, positive feelings, social support, sexual satisfaction, and spirituality*."_


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## tracyishere

Jellybeans said:


> Yes, please!


I'll try. I ain't a guy so this will be weird.


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## tracyishere

CouldItBeSo said:


> Porn Stars Are Just Like Us (Except Happier) | Nerve.com
> 
> _"A new study says female porn stars aren’t more damaged than the rest of us, and that’s upsetting a lot of long-held beliefs.
> 
> A longstanding cultural assumption holds that pornographic actresses arrive at porn via a history of emotional damage. After all, nobody who wanted to have sex for a living could possibly be all right in the head, right?
> 
> But a new study, published in the Journal for Sex Research, suggests that the so-called Damaged Goods Hypothesis (or DGH, which posits that "female performers in the adult entertainment industry have higher rates of childhood sexual abuse, psychological problems, and drug use compared to the typical woman") is flat-out wrong. Female porn stars experienced no more abuse than a matched sample, and *they were found to enjoy sex more, have higher levels of self-esteem, positive feelings, social support, sexual satisfaction, and spirituality*."_


Well that sure puts a spin on things!


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## ConanHub

CouldItBeSo said:


> Porn Stars Are Just Like Us (Except Happier) | Nerve.com
> 
> _"A new study says female porn stars aren’t more damaged than the rest of us, and that’s upsetting a lot of long-held beliefs.
> 
> A longstanding cultural assumption holds that pornographic actresses arrive at porn via a history of emotional damage. After all, nobody who wanted to have sex for a living could possibly be all right in the head, right?
> 
> But a new study, published in the Journal for Sex Research, suggests that the so-called Damaged Goods Hypothesis (or DGH, which posits that "female performers in the adult entertainment industry have higher rates of childhood sexual abuse, psychological problems, and drug use compared to the typical woman") is flat-out wrong. Female porn stars experienced no more abuse than a matched sample, and *they were found to enjoy sex more, have higher levels of self-esteem, positive feelings, social support, sexual satisfaction, and spirituality*."_


After tracking this subject for years, I believe this study to be complete and utter bullish!t! The rate of drug abuse, addiction, mental/emotional disorders, stds, are all extremely higher than average and satisfaction in relationships are very low. Won't hijack this thread but there are literally mountains of evidence that support my statement and many worse effects of the performers in this industry.
These studies always find the poster child that has not been horribly messed up and puts them on display.


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## DesertRat1978

Prior to the wife, I had a fling with one of my old bosses. She was a sex goddess, in my opinion. She was flawed deeply but when it came to the bedroom, she was a rock star. In short, it was because she was so high energy and so sexual. She liked that I did most of the work but she was demanding. If I was not putting enough energy into what I was doing, she would voice it. It also helped that she was incredibly attractive but her energy and desire were off the charts.


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## RandomDude

Thats the thing really, my wife was an escort in her youth before she met me but has no history of childhood abuse and her reasons for doing what she did wasn't really as dramatic as many people thought. She did have esteem problems however but no more than your average woman which did play a minor part but overall was rather fond of her experience even though she's 'been there, done that' with the whole thing and prefers to focus on who she is now.

She was ashamed of it only publicly and when I earned her trust she confided her fondness of her experience. Not to mention she's proven herself to be a woman of quality, loyal, honest, good-hearted and non-materialistic. When I first met her she was very free-spirited and individualistic, she did become a Christian but was very much the 'black sheep' of the flock as she held onto the fondness of her worldly experiences.

It seems that her guilt only started to weigh down on her once she entered bible-college, and ironically that's when the problems between us started. If I was to pinpoint which time of her life was more damaging to her as a person I would point to her church, which really shoke up how she viewed herself, the world, me, etc etc. But that's just my opinion/experience.

Quite frankly I reckon people have to stop judging.


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## CouldItBeSo

ConanHub said:


> After tracking this subject for years, I believe this study to be complete and utter bullish!t! The rate of drug abuse, addiction, mental/emotional disorders, stds, are all extremely higher than average and satisfaction in relationships are very low. Won't hijack this thread but there are literally mountains of evidence that support my statement and many worse effects of the performers in this industry.
> These studies always find the poster child that has not been horribly messed up and puts them on display.


Here's an another article: Why female porn stars may be happier than non-porn counterparts - Telegraph

_"The study, published in the Journal of Sex Research, *matched 177 porn actresses against women of the same age, ethnicity, and marital status*.

It's a matching of women against their age- and relationship-peers. Also, the women were recruited via the AIM clinic, *which tested virtually all mainstream porn stars in the States*; it's hard to imagine a way of getting respondents from a larger slice of the industry."_

So no, not a poster child but 177 actresses. You dismiss the study as "utter bullish!t!" but you have posted nothing to verify your own "study".


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