# If a husband gets a lap dance from another woman is it cheating?



## Jack I

Random question.I got a lap dance last year from a woman at a strip club.I never told anyone about it.I was wondering,is this considered cheating?What do you guys think?Why or why not?I wondered about it when it happened,and I just watched a television show where a husband gets a lap dance and the wife gets upset.Curious to see what you all think.


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## sandc

What do you think your wife's reaction would be?

What would your reaction be if she got a similar dance at a male strip club?


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## EleGirl

You did something sexual with something other than your wife.

Is this something you would have done with your wife there?

How would you feel about if is your wife were to give some guy a lap dance? Turn it around and think about that.


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## Maricha75

For my husband? I would consider it cheating. But since he doesn't go to those places and neither do I, it's a moot point. He would consider it cheating, too, btw. My question though, Jack.... if you told your wife about it, what would HER answer be? Honestly, it doesn't matter what everyone else says... what matters is what your SPOUSE feels about it. Same with porn. Some see it as cheating, some don't. Only matters what your spouse thinks and WHY they think that way.


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## Caribbean Man

Maricha75 said:


> . *My question though, Jack.... if you told your wife about it, what would HER answer be? Honestly, it doesn't matter what everyone else says... what matters is what your SPOUSE feels about it. Same with porn. Some see it as cheating, some don't. Only matters what your spouse thinks and WHY they think that way.*


:iagree:
These are discussions one should have with their spouse
_antes de_ [ before ] they actually participate.


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## KathyBatesel

I would not consider it cheating as long as he was honest and up front with me about it. Even then, I wouldn't consider it cheating, but I *would* consider him a liar.


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## VFW

How would you feel if your wife goes out dancing with the girls and ends up grinding into the boner of some dude?


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## JCD

VFW said:


> How would you feel if your wife goes out dancing with the girls and ends up grinding into the boner of some dude?


I am not sure this is equivilant.

For example: the stripper has about 43 large guys in black tee shirts who will keep her from having to do a single thing she doesn't want to do. By law, she is not allowed to have sex. She is allowed to grind on him with her clothes on for a set fee.

Tell me the emotion or the leading on involved in that circumstance? He has no tie to her. She has no tie to him.

Dancing with another fellow is defintely an act of leading one on and has none of these safeguards (yes, some strippers prostitute themselves too, but we aren't talking about that)

**

I have a binary test for infidelity. Do _I_ consider it cheating and does _she_ consider it cheating.

My wife and I had this discussion and she had a rather narrow interpretation of cheating...much narrower than mine surprisingly. Seeing the many MANY loopholes she offered me, I started teasing her and she said "No...X would ALSO be cheating...because YOU believe it's cheating."

So...she got me.

If you wouldn't do it in front of your wife, or without her consent, don't do it.


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## Coffee Amore

Going to a strip club and viewing the dancer while in an audience with many other men wouldn't be cheating in my eyes in my marriage, although I probably wouldn't like it, but I wouldn't get too angry about it. 

A lap dance would bother me a lot. Words would be said. Most likely a lot of words and hand gestures would be used too. 

Why aren't you discussing this with your wife instead of us?


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## Cosmos

It depends on the relationship. There are certainly women who wouldn't mind this in the least, but if my partner went to a strip club and got a lap dance he'd be crossing a definite boundary in our relationship.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

I'd walk out of the marriage if my husband inquired a lap dance. He knows it too. I'd consider it cheating to a degree. Infidelity is a deal breaker for me. 

Hubby does not like strippers and calls them "low class". The same goes for porn. Maybe my husband is different, but he focuses his attention on me. I really appreciate everything he does for me. Most of all my husband always treats me with respect. Getting a lap dance is disrespectful.


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## galian84

You should talk to your wife about this. Agree with all the others who said that it really only matters what SHE thinks, not what WE think. Everyone has different boundaries and what they're okay and not okay with in a relationship.

I don't consider it cheating, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Luckily my SO and I don't go to strip clubs, anyway.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

I guess it would depend on the circumstances.

If you were there because it was YOUR idea, and YOU paid for the lap dance, I'd consider it cheating.

If you were there as part of a bachelor party scenario or a work-related scenario (celebrating that big deal you all closed) and the best man or boss or whomever paid for multiple people to get lap dances, I would NOT consider it cheating. Bad taste, yes; cheating, no.


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## Caribbean Man

My wife would freak out if I did something like that behind her back. Knowing my past involvement with that sort of lifestyle when I was single, I would have to run whilst dodging barbells, dumbbells, weight plates and even the treadmill...


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## pink_lady

This wouldn't bother me as long as he didn't try to hide it. I wouldn't consider it cheating.

Now, if this was a regular thing, that would be another story but it doesn't sound like it was for OP.

But it's totally true that it makes no difference what people on a forum think, only what the wife thinks.


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## pink_lady

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I'd walk out of the marriage if my husband inquired a lap dance. He knows it too. I'd consider it cheating to a degree. Infidelity is a deal breaker for me.
> 
> Hubby does not like strippers and calls them "low class". The same goes for porn. Maybe my husband is different, but he focuses his attention on me. I really appreciate everything he does for me. Most of all my husband always treats me with respect. Getting a lap dance is disrespectful.


InLove does your husband have a brother??


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## richie33

Not cheating. I always believed girlfriends or wives should be less nervous about their man going to a strip joint than a nightclub.
The strippers only want their $$$. In a night club single woman want to hook up.
Just my two cents. It wouldn't bother me if my wife went to one herself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TiggyBlue

I would consider it cheating.


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## BrookeT

If my husband had a half naked woman rubbing her ass all over his equiptment, you bet I am going to be extraordinarily PISSED. 

If he wants that, all he has to do is ask me!


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## Hope1964

For some it will be, for some it won't. What matters is what your wife thinks.

Why would someone who is happily married even WANT to get a lap dance??


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## Jack I

VFW said:


> How would you feel if your wife goes out dancing with the girls and ends up grinding into the boner of some dude?


This was the way I was thinking about it at first while I was feeling guilty.I said that if she was grinding on some guy than I wouldn't like it.I was kind of trying to rationalize it within myself as saying it wasn't cheating because we didn't have sex.I'm not planning on telling my wife or anything,this happened about a year ago,and I was just wondering what were peoples takes on it.


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## Hope1964

Jack I said:


> I'm not planning on telling my wife or anything,this happened about a year ago


Ouch. Your poor wife.

So, what do you think? Did you cheat? If you've been feeling guilty I would say that yes, you do think you cheated.

You'll probably get slaughtered on here for not telling your wife. All I will say is that the longer you keep it a secret, the harder it will be to get it out in the open, and the harder she'll take it. What do you think will happen if you find that, in say 5 years, you realize you need to tell her? 6 years of living a lie is far worse than one year.


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## Jack I

Hope1964 said:


> Ouch. Your poor wife.
> 
> So, what do you think? Did you cheat? If you've been feeling guilty I would say that yes, you do think you cheated.
> 
> You'll probably get slaughtered on here for not telling your wife. All I will say is that the longer you keep it a secret, the harder it will be to get it out in the open, and the harder she'll take it. What do you think will happen if you find that, in say 5 years, you realize you need to tell her? 6 years of living a lie is far worse than one year.


I'd say I did something dishonest.It was a situation that kind of came and went,where I felt guilty for about a week or so.And like I said in the original post,the television show had me thinking about it again.So there really is no need to tell her.The risk at stake is losing her trust,which isn't something I want to do.


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## Lyris

But she shouldn't trust you. You don't deserve her trust.


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## east2west

If your wife did not consent then it is a form of cheating.

If she did consent then it is not cheating but it is still quite risky.

I consider lap dances, chat rooms, cams and such to be a type of sex with someone other than your wife.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

Wouldn't say that *I* agree with Lyris.

Meh! One lap dance in a relationship of how many years? Coulda been a bad night, a bad week, a lot of things. It WASN'T an EA or a PA, so I think your W still deserves your trust, Jack.

It isn't a habit...it was a one-off. I'd let it go if *I* was your wife. And I'd keep my mouth shut if *I* was you.

Just My Opinion


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## DangerousCurves

Yes. Any interaction with a woman in a sexual manner is considered cheating. Confess to your wife and beg for her forgiveness.


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## Jack I

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Wouldn't say that *I* agree with Lyris.
> 
> Meh! One lap dance in a relationship of how many years? Coulda been a bad night, a bad week, a lot of things. It WASN'T an EA or a PA, so I think your W still deserves your trust, Jack.
> 
> It isn't a habit...it was a one-off. I'd let it go if *I* was your wife. And I'd keep my mouth shut if *I* was you.
> 
> Just My Opinion


Good somebody agrees with me.This is pretty much where I stand.


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## Maneo

I don't think it matters what we think. What does your wife think? And a question for you is why you haven't told her. Does she even know you went to a strip club? Is this frequent behavior or something that happened once within some context. 
The reaction to this falls along a spectrum from definitely cheating on one end to no big deal on the other end. 
All that matters is where you and your wife fall on that spectrum and that you fall relatively close to one another.


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## MegD

It definitely depends on the individual woman in the relationship. Talk to your wife. I would buy my husband a lap dance and think nothing of it, but I'm fairly unique in that regard.


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## TiggyBlue

Jack I said:


> Good somebody agrees with me.This is pretty much where I stand.


So the same would go for your wife?


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## Jack I

Maneo said:


> I don't think it matters what we think. What does your wife think? And a question for you is why you haven't told her. Does she even know you went to a strip club? Is this frequent behavior or something that happened once within some context.


No,she doesn't know I went to the strip club.I've only been to a strip club 3 times in our marriage.We've been married for 6 years.And this was the only time I got a lap dance.


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## ankh

My wife would just chuckle and say they got nothing on me [her] and she would know that she could provide a much better lap dance any day of the week


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## Coffee Amore

Jack I said:


> No,she doesn't know I went to the strip club.I've only been to a strip club 3 times in our marriage.We've been married for 6 years.And this was the only time I got a lap dance.


Will you go again to a strip club?

I think that when one starts doing things in secret and thinking "What she doesn't know won't hurt her", it's easy to develop a hidden independent lifestyle. It's not like it happens all at one. It happens in steps, in increments. And when a person has secret independent behavior that the wife doesn't know about, it becomes easier to see the wife as the enemy of a good time and that's obviously not a good thing for the relationship.

I don't care if you go to strip clubs or get lap dances. That's your life. You should have a talk with your wife about it to get a sense of what she thinks. If you still continue it aftewards then I think you're on your way to a secret parallel life your wife isn't aware of.


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## richie33

In a year since this happened have you step out on your wife? If no then leave it alone. Don't go back to a strip club again until you have a talk about what her feelings are. If she is not cool with you going then you have your answer for the future.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GetTough

Jack I said:


> Random question.I got a lap dance last year from a woman at a strip club.I never told anyone about it.I was wondering,is this considered cheating?What do you guys think?Why or why not?I wondered about it when it happened,and I just watched a television show where a husband gets a lap dance and the wife gets upset.Curious to see what you all think.


I think you should know what your own standards are.


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## Entropy3000

Jack I said:


> Random question.I got a lap dance last year from a woman at a strip club.I never told anyone about it.I was wondering,is this considered cheating?What do you guys think?Why or why not?I wondered about it when it happened,and I just watched a television show where a husband gets a lap dance and the wife gets upset.Curious to see what you all think.


LOL. 

Well, I consider it cheating whether my wife would or not. So I will not do it. No amount of peer pressure is going to make me do this.

YMMV.


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## Entropy3000

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I guess it would depend on the circumstances.
> 
> If you were there because it was YOUR idea, and YOU paid for the lap dance, I'd consider it cheating.
> 
> If you were there as part of a bachelor party scenario or a work-related scenario (celebrating that big deal you all closed) and the best man or boss or whomever paid for multiple people to get lap dances, I would NOT consider it cheating. Bad taste, yes; cheating, no.


You do know that when men go to the gentlemen's club it is SOP for them to pay for each others lap dances.

They play the peer pressure game. It IS a game.


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## Entropy3000

Hope1964 said:


> For some it will be, for some it won't. What matters is what your wife thinks.
> 
> Why would someone who is happily married even WANT to get a lap dance??


I am told by my colleagues who indulge in this that it is to get worked up for their wives.

I call BS. Mainly because I am older than most of them and I do not need to get worked up like this to be turned on by my wife.

So I am not a fan of strip clubs for either gender.


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## Entropy3000

Jack I said:


> This was the way I was thinking about it at first while I was feeling guilty.I said that if she was grinding on some guy than I wouldn't like it.I was kind of trying to rationalize it within myself as saying it wasn't cheating because we didn't have sex.I'm not planning on telling my wife or anything,this happened about a year ago,and I was just wondering what were peoples takes on it.


People can draw the line at penetration if they want.

But then you are left with just being unfaithful. 

So you are ok with your wife doing anything as long as there is no penetration?


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## Maricha75

Jack... I'm curious... did you get this lap dance BEFORE or AFTER your wife had her weight loss surgery? :scratchhead:


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## Entropy3000

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Wouldn't say that *I* agree with Lyris.
> 
> Meh! One lap dance in a relationship of how many years? Coulda been a bad night, a bad week, a lot of things. It WASN'T an EA or a PA, so I think your W still deserves your trust, Jack.
> 
> It isn't a habit...it was a one-off. I'd let it go if *I* was your wife. And I'd keep my mouth shut if *I* was you.
> 
> Just My Opinion


So how about once a year.

With Jade.

In the VIP room.

With the lubricant.


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## Entropy3000

Jack I said:


> Good somebody agrees with me.This is pretty much where I stand.


So when you find out that she went to a friends bachelorette and licked the whip cream you will not be so mad.

I mean, it is a one off.

Or when she kissed the guy at the Wedding she danced with.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

Would you be upset if your wife had a few lap dances by good looking men and not tell you? No big deal right?


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## Jack I

Maricha75 said:


> Jack... I'm curious... did you get this lap dance BEFORE or AFTER your wife had her weight loss surgery? :scratchhead:


It was last year.It was after the surgery.


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## ankh

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Would you be upset if your wife had a few lap dances by good looking men and not tell you? No big deal right?


I trust my wife implicitly to enjoy a lap dance or whatever else. I do not understand guys or gals who get jealous. To me, jealousy derives from a lack of self confidence.


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## Jack I

FrenchFry said:


> Jack, are you or would you be nervous to tell your wife that you got a lap dance?


Yeah I probably would be nervous about telling her.You don't know for sure how she would react and there doesn't seem to be much reason to jeopardize her trust in me by telling her about something that happened a year ago.


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## GetTough

Jack I said:


> Yeah I probably would be nervous about telling her.You don't know for sure how she would react and there doesn't seem to be much reason to jeopardize her trust in me by telling her about something that happened a year ago.


What exactly happened in the lap dance. There are lap dances and you know, there are LAP dances.


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## DayDream

Entropy3000 said:


> So when you find out that she went to a friends bachelorette and licked the whip cream you will not be so mad.
> 
> I mean, it is a one off.
> 
> Or when she kissed the guy at the Wedding she danced with.


Why aren't you answering this question? It's been asked several times. Or did you and I'm missing it?


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## Jack I

DayDream said:


> Why aren't you answering this question? It's been asked several times. Or did you and I'm missing it?


Well I did say that after it first happened and thought to myself What if she did something like this?How would I feel?And the answer was,awful.


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## Jack I

GetTough said:


> What exactly happened in the lap dance. There are lap dances and you know, there are LAP dances.


Very good question.I actually ejaculated.I know,terrible.But that's what happened....I think a bad husband would do something like this and go home,kiss his wife and not think anything of it. I felt guilty and had a conscience,and to a certain degree wished that it didn't happen.So I felt like it was a little different.


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## Cosmos

Jack I said:


> Very good question.I actually ejaculated.I know,terrible.But that's what happened....I think a bad husband would do something like this and go home,kiss his wife and not think anything of it. I felt guilty and had a conscience,and to a certain degree wished that it didn't happen.So I felt like it was a little different.


You ejaculated during a close encounter with a member of the opposite sex, but because you didn't go home and kiss your wife that somehow makes you think it's OK? :scratchhead:


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## richie33

Man that just changed my opinion. Now I think that's cheating. When I think lap dance, from what I have seen is a stripper dancing around you sticking their boobs and ass in your face. Not grinding you where they make you ejaculate. Not cool man. 
You should never go back to these type of places.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

Yep, I'm with richie33 on THIS one!

1.) It is good that you felt guilty about the lap dance AFTERWARDS and didn't just act like 'it's all good'.

2.) We are supposed to LEARN from mistakes so, hopefully, you've learned from THIS one.

3.) If you've gone to ANY strip club SINCE this incident, then I have NO RESPECT for your behavior as it would indicate that you didn't REALLY learn the lesson. 

In my world there's a VAST DIFFERENCE between JUST WATCHING a scantily-clad person of the opposite gender dancing (which would probably be okay) and having a scantily-clad person of the opposite gender GRINDING ON YOU until one of you comes (NOT okay).


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## VFW

Jack I said:


> Very good question.I actually ejaculated.I know,terrible.But that's what happened....I think a bad husband would do something like this and go home,kiss his wife and not think anything of it. I felt guilty and had a conscience,and to a certain degree wished that it didn't happen.So I felt like it was a little different.


I think you have just answered your own question. You actually knew the answer all along, however like many you were hoping to have your actions justified. I am not going to tell you should or shouldn't tell your wife, that is your business. I think a better question is what are you going to do in light of this epiphany? If she did know, I would assume that she would be extremely upset, otherwise you would not have fretted over the event. What actions would you do to be contrite?


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## Dulciean

Here is the perfect place to ask something I've often wondered... Exactly What goes on in a lap dance? How much physical contact is there? Could the OP have ejaculated without the grinding? I understand there are ' private' lap dance sessions? 
Feel very naive not knowing these things!


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## Entropy3000

Jack I said:


> Very good question.I actually ejaculated.I know,terrible.But that's what happened....I think a bad husband would do something like this and go home,kiss his wife and not think anything of it. I felt guilty and had a conscience,and to a certain degree wished that it didn't happen.So I felt like it was a little different.


For the record I do not think you are at all serious. I think you are playing with the TAM folks. 

Interesting morality play.

So if you do not feel guilty for doing something you are bad for doing it.

But if you feel bad for doing something even though you did it ... you are not so bad.

Interesting.

But who is worse? The person who feels guilty ... knowing something is wrong and repeats again or someone who make no pretense and knows they are a jerk but does not care?

I do not pretend to know the answer to the above BTW. But the question is moot, I know. A lose - lose.


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## janesmith

no its not cheating for me. If he f*cked her, kissed her, did anything oral or got her number, now THAT would be cheating. Getting a little lap burn is not a big deal to me


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## Caribbean Man

Dulciean said:


> Here is the perfect place to ask something I've often wondered... Exactly What goes on in a lap dance? How much physical contact is there? Could the OP have ejaculated without the grinding? I understand there are ' private' lap dance sessions?
> Feel very naive not knowing these things!


During a lapdance , the stripper t simply grinds on the customer.Sometimes she would shake her assets in his face , but he is not allowed to touch. sometimes she may allow him to tough her tighs or butt , in order to get him to pay for a
" private room session."
In the private room. she may take off her thongs and just give him a good view. She may allow him to touch.

Strip joints are really designed for guys to spend their money.

I think they are a waste of time, especially for guys who are accustomed getting laid.

But to each his own.


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## Entropy3000

Caribbean Man said:


> During a lapdance , the stripper t simply grinds on the customer.Sometimes she would shake her assets in his face , but he is not allowed to touch. sometimes she may allow him to tough her tighs or butt , in order to get him to pay for a
> " private room session."
> In the private room. she may take off her thongs and just give him a good view. She may allow him to touch.
> 
> Strip joints are really designed for guys to spend their money.
> 
> *I think they are a waste of time, especially for guys who are accustomed getting laid.
> *
> But to each his own.


Yep. That is why I look at guys in strip clubs as losers.


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## GetTough

Jack I said:


> Very good question.I actually ejaculated.I know,terrible.But that's what happened....I think a bad husband would do something like this and go home,kiss his wife and not think anything of it. I felt guilty and had a conscience,and to a certain degree wished that it didn't happen.So I felt like it was a little different.


So I'm guessing you didn't ejaculate by grinding. Did you pay her to do something extra? Like a BJ or let you jerk off? If so, that goes a little beyond a regular lap dance. It's leaving the realm of men's entertainment and moving into the realm of getting yourself a prostitute.


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## DayDream

If you were my husband, and I found all that out, you wouldn't be my husband anymore.


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## janesmith

dude you CAME? geesh, crossing all kinds of lap dance barriers. THERE IS NO CUMMING DUDE!! You gotta save that for your wife. You totally cheated.


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## Jack I

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Yep, I'm with richie33 on THIS one!
> 
> 1.) It is good that you felt guilty about the lap dance AFTERWARDS and didn't just act like 'it's all good'.
> 
> 2.) We are supposed to LEARN from mistakes so, hopefully, you've learned from THIS one.
> 
> 3.) If you've gone to ANY strip club SINCE this incident, then I have NO RESPECT for your behavior as it would indicate that you didn't REALLY learn the lesson.
> 
> In my world there's a VAST DIFFERENCE between JUST WATCHING a scantily-clad person of the opposite gender dancing (which would probably be okay) and having a scantily-clad person of the opposite gender GRINDING ON YOU until one of you comes (NOT okay).


Thanks.I haven't been to any strip clubs at all since this incident.It was only my 3rd time going in our six year marriage.Strip clubs aren't my thing for the most part.All three times I went with a co-worker and if he hadn't asked me,I definitely would have never went.


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## Jack I

Cosmos said:


> You ejaculated during a close encounter with a member of the opposite sex, but because you didn't go home and kiss your wife that somehow makes you think it's OK? :scratchhead:


I disagree with those you say there is no difference between a man who cheats on his wife or gets a lap dance and goes home and feels guilty,wishes it didn't happen and can't stop thinking about it,and a man who gets a lap dance and goes home and kisses his wife and acts like nothing happened.And I didn't say that makes it okay.I'm just saying that I do believe there is a difference.And that while I was feeling bad about it,this is how I tried to rationalize it...But I know that there are no excuses and this was a bad thing that happened.I was just wondering what other people's takes were.


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## DayDream

Okay. There's a slight difference. Still makes you an a**hole for doing it in either case. Of course...that's just my humble little opinion. Ask your wife what her opinion is.


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## Hope1964

It pisses me right off and makes me very sad at the same time that there are guys like this out there. Guys who think it's OK to get a little action on the side, and as long as their wife doesn't know about it, it won't hurt her. Guys whose wives trust them, and yet who think nothing of what they're doing.

Some kind of marriage that is. You, OP, are a liar and a cheater. You are lying to yourself and to your wife about the fact you cheated on her. You paid another woman and you got your rocks off. Just like if you hired a hooker, or had a happy ending massage.

Yuck.


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## Maricha75

Hope1964 said:


> It pisses me right off and makes me very sad at the same time that there are guys like this out there. Guys who think it's OK to get a little action on the side, and as long as their wife doesn't know about it, it won't hurt her. Guys whose wives trust them, and yet who think nothing of what they're doing.
> 
> Some kind of marriage that is. You, OP, are a liar and a cheater. You are lying to yourself and to your wife about the fact you cheated on her. You paid another woman and you got your rocks off. Just like if you hired a hooker, or had a happy ending massage.
> 
> Yuck.


Sad to say, Hope.... not really surprised


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## *LittleDeer*

Yes it's a sexual thing between two people. My option is many people are too lenient and dont believe anything short of sex is cheating. I disagree with that and feel its very bad for marraiges and bonding. Intimate sexual moments should be between husband and wife only.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dutton47

It's not adultery, but it IS CHEATING


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## ankh

What if a guy watches a movie and it's so stinkin' hot that the guy leaks precum or even fully cums, without masturbating, just because of what he sees? Is it cheating? What if he goes to a friend's bachelor party before the friend's wedding and watches a stripper entertain his friend, and cums? What then?


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## Almostrecovered

can God make a rock so big that even he himself can't lift it?


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## tryingtobebetter

Almostrecovered said:


> can God make a rock so big that even he himself can't lift it?


Well that one is easy. If he is God defined as a being to whom all things are possible then he can make that rock and in addition he can lift it too!

Must be fun being God


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## heavensangel

I think the fact that you're hiding your escapade from your wife and are, yourself, wondering if you cheated speaks volumes. If, in fact, you felt comfortable enough to relieve yourself of your guilt by being upfront with your wife, then your internal struggle would be solved. You came here to see how many would 'be in your corner' and then use that information as some sort of 'justification' when telling your wife. But being there are a number of members telling you 'it was cheating' has now totally defeated the whole purpose of posting. 

Yes, cheating is: anything you have to hide, lie, or sneak to do. If you have to resort to any of these behaviors then you are cheating on your SP, period. 

You need to love/respect your wife enough to tell her the truth and deal with whatever consequences there may be. Otherwise the guilt you're feeling will eat you from the inside out. Whether you like it or not it will affect your marriage.


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## jaquen

Jack I said:


> Random question.I got a lap dance last year from a woman at a strip club.I never told anyone about it.I was wondering,is this considered cheating?What do you guys think?Why or why not?I wondered about it when it happened,and I just watched a television show where a husband gets a lap dance and the wife gets upset.Curious to see what you all think.



Depends on the woman. My wife doesn't consider a lap dance cheating. I probably wouldn't be married to a woman who thought a lap dance was akin to adultery.


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## Therealbrighteyes

jaquen said:


> Depends on the woman. My wife doesn't consider a lap dance cheating. I probably wouldn't be married to a woman who thought a lap dance was akin to adultery.


Read a little more in to his further posts on the subject and he apparently had enough of a "lap dance" to make himself ejaculate. He is either the biggest hair trigger man post puberty or something else went down. This all happened a year ago and he has zero intention of telling his wife. Not sure why he brought it up, wanted validation for it or thinks a guy who cums in his jeans over a stripper makes him sexy. 
No doubt he posted this using only his left hand.


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## jaquen

Jack I said:


> Very good question.I actually ejaculated.I know,terrible.


You ejaculated? Was the stripper basically having clothed sex with you, or you just got overly excited from the visuals and light touching?

Because a standard lap dance sure isn't going to be enough to get most guys to bust their nut. You're leaving out some crucial details here...


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## ruiemichelo

I would consider it cheating. But since he doesn't go to those places and neither do I


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## EleGirl

Almostrecovered said:


> can God make a rock so big that even he himself can't lift it?


If he wants to.


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## Maricha75

jaquen said:


> You ejaculated? Was the stripper basically having clothed sex with you, or you just got overly excited from the visuals and light touching?
> 
> Because a standard lap dance sure isn't going to be enough to get most guys to bust their nut. You're leaving out some crucial details here...


Ohhhhh Jaquen, dear, there is a LOT more to his story than "just" this lapdance. I'd suggest reading his other threads to get the full picture.


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