# Frustrated with my husband



## whitelightingstorm (Jul 6, 2012)

Been married for 8 years. A few things are starting to get to me. My husband has always done this. I've ignored it all this time but it's starting to annoy me. It actually embarrasses me in front of others. He will talk to me and look around at others to see if anyone else is listening to him. Like he is showing off or something. It's just weird to me. 

Another thing...when he does something and it doesn't turn out the way he wanted it he gets REALLY pissed and starts yelling. Also been doing this since I've met him but I've ignored it till now. 

Anyone else go through any of this?


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

It's funny you brought this up because I was sitting across the dinner table last night watching the dining habits of my date thinking, "It's cute now but will this sh*t annoy me in 5 years?". 

In regards to the talking thing and looking around, it could be that he has done this for so long he may not even realize he's doing it anymore. It's become habit. Perhaps when he does this again you can start looking around with him and say, "Do you see something? What's up? What are you looking at?". But don't do it in a way where you are annoyed but simply being curious. Sometimes I don't realize I do certain things unless I'm being called out on it. 

Now, as far as the temper tantrums he has - well - that is more of a problem. Especially if you are the target of his verbal aggression. Does he yell at you or just yell to himself? If he is just yelling for the sake of yelling just say, "Sorry that didn't go well for you sweetie" and walk away. If you really can't take it anymore then I would say to him that you can't imagine this kind of behavior goes over very well in the workplace and does he react the same way there then he does at home? He needs to get a grip. Life isn't fair. We can't get our way all the freaking time. 

But at the end of the day we really need to weigh our good with the bad. But if the yelling thing is really impacting you emotionally and mentally then that needs to be addressed ASAP. You can't be walking on eggshells wondering when his next outburst is going to be.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> Been married for 8 years. A few things are starting to get to me. My husband has always done this. I've ignored it all this time but it's starting to annoy me. It actually embarrasses me in front of others. He will talk to me and look around at others to see if anyone else is listening to him. Like he is showing off or something. It's just weird to me.


I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Are you standing in a group when he does this? Or is it just the two of you with other people in the background? Why is it embarrassing to you?

Does he do a lot of presentations at work? Presenters are taught to look around the room at everyone while they are speaking - maybe it's a habit he's developed at work?


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## whitelightingstorm (Jul 6, 2012)

No he is a trucker and alone all the time. He comes home maybe every other week. This happens all the time...around family members when he is talking to one person he will look around to see who else is watching. He will come into a room while I am talking to a friend and want to tell me something and not look at me while he is talking he will look at them. It's just weird. No one else does this. I know it's just a habit he has formed. His brother does the same thing so maybe his dad used to do this. 

It's embarrassing because people are starting to ask me questions about this. Like...why does he look at me when he is talking to you. lol It's just weird. But as I said he has always done this. It's just starting to annoy me. Maybe I need to work on me...which I am very willing to do! I am very easy going but lately as I am getting older (47) now things are starting to bother me more. 

I have done the whole looking around while he does and asked him what he was looking at. He just laughs and said just looking around. LOL 

I have so many issues with my marriage...I keep talking to him about it. I know he doesn't want to lose me nor I him. I know we all have our issues at different times in our life. Guess I need to vent and this is the way I'm doing this. 

I JUST NEED TO TALK!!! THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME!!!


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

If you encounter someone again that says, "Why is he looking at me when he is talking to you?" just laugh and say, "Because he's blind" or "Because I didn't give him permission to look at me yet". The more you can make fun of that behavior with others the funnier it will become to you. I know it sounds odd but it's true. I used to date a guy who was like Sally from When Harry Met Sally. Everything on the menu had to be changed up in one way or another. He was VERY particular about his food. I'd just look at the server and roll my eyes and laugh. 

I'm still not liking the yelling thing tho.  

But, LOL, I hear ya about the getting older thing. I just turned 40 and starting to get a little grouchier in my old age. Now I understand what the term "crotchety old people" means now. I'm slowing morphing.....


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## whitelightingstorm (Jul 6, 2012)

thanks irishgirl...will try it all. lol I am trying very hard not to be a crap butt but people are just pissing me off lately lol I've even stopped hanging out with all my friends lately. All my friends do is drink and I'm getting tired of that lifestyle. They go out 3-4 times a week to the bars. I know this isn't what I want in my life. I definitely do not mind socializing but hanging out in bars is not what I want. There is so much more to life!


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