# My story on in law trouble



## StarryEyes87 (Jun 11, 2011)

My husband and I met when we were young. I was 18 and he was 20. We met in February of 2006 and fell madly deeply in love with each other. We decided to get married so we told his parents and they would talk to us for hours about how big of a step it is and they don’t think it’s the right step for us. Well we also decided to start trying for a baby. Which we found out I was expecting in April of 2006. I was still in high school I graduated in May of 2006. When we found out we were going to wait to tell anyone until I go to the doctor and confirm it, somehow his parents found out and questioned him alone about it. They asked him if I forced him to have sex with me and if he used protection, then they got out a calendar and said it couldn’t be possible that the baby was his. After that I was not allowed at their house. We still stayed together although they didn’t want anything to do with me. Once I graduated high school I was homeless so they let me stay in an apartment complex that they owned but they wouldn’t let their son move in with me until we got married. So we had a rushed 3 months of planning the wedding. They said they would help with the wedding they did nothing, my mom did it all for me. They wouldn’t even let their son tell anyone in the family that I was pregnant until after the wedding. I slipped up one time a couple weeks before the wedding and told one of his dad’s workers I was pregnant and he started yelling at me and after he was done I went into my apartment and couldn’t stop crying and I had trouble breathing I almost had their son take me to the hospital. We had the wedding in July of 2006 it went good afterwards his family planned a party and all got drunk and then accused me of drinking while I was pregnant. A week after that I had a sonogram to find out the sex of the baby, so I asked his mom if she wanted to go and she told me no and that she wanted me to ask to do a dna test. I told her I was going not to have the doctor put a needle in stomach unless she thought it was necessary for something else. Well she didn’t like that answer so I did talk to the doctor about doing a DNA test after she is born. The doctor told me it would cost around 300.00 and she would do it when I have her if that’s what I wanted. So I told his mom that she can wait until after the baby is born and that they need to pay the bill for the DNA test because I wasn’t paying for it. I already knew who the father was and my husband did too, it was their son’s, my husband’s. In August I couldn’t really fit in any of my clothes so I started wearing some of my husband’s clothes and one time I went over there with his shorts on and his mom tried to make me change them. Well after that she decided to buy me some clothes for my birthday in September because I couldn’t look like that again in front of her family members. I had a couple more sonograms before the baby was born because she measured small and every time I would ask his mom to go and she always said no. I started planning my own baby shower, my mom wouldn’t do it because she paid for the wedding, but once his mom found out she decided to it because it would look wrong for me to plan my own baby shower. We had it at the end of October. On Halloween that day I went to the doctors and was put on bed rest. She also had me stay in the ob ward for a couple of hours to run some tests and then I got to go home with a urine collector and I had to bring it back the next day. When I found out I had to stay for a couple of hours, I called my mom and she rushed over there and then I called his mom who said just keep me posted. So the next day my husband had to work and I had no way of getting there. I had to beg his mom to take me to drop off the urine collector. She finally agreed to it but I was supposed to just drop it off and nothing else well it turns out my doctor order some more tests and to be monitored that day too. So I was there for 2 hours and then they sent me home. The next day November 2 I had an ob appt to get a sonogram and talk about if I can make it until my due date which was December 12. So my ob personally calls me and tells me to get here as soon as possible and not to go to her office but to the ob ward and the on call doctor will tell me what’s going on. So we booked out of there, his mom came along with us because when I got the call she was there. The on call doctor told me I had severe pre-clampisa and that my kidneys were shutting down so he started me on the labor medicine. I was on them until around 7 pm when he said that he had to do an emergency C-section because my blood pressure got too high. He said if it got any higher I was going to have a stroke. I was also on magnesium to lower the blood pressure. I got prepped and by then his grandma and one aunt was there with his mom and dad, my mom was there too. At 9 pm I was taken back there my husband couldn’t be there because they had to just knock me out instead. Everything went fine she was born at 9:56 pm at 34 weeks. So she was 6 weeks early, she was tiny only 3 lbs. 15 oz. . . . after I got out of surgery I was put in the recovery room for 2 hours during that time his family got to see my baby girl and afterwards left before I got back to my room the only one who stayed was my mom. The next day his family showed up again to see their grandchild and then leave, they made a rude comment about me when I was all drugged up on magnesium that they should bring a video recorder and record me snoring because I had trouble breathing and almost had to have a mask on. By Saturday my daughter took a turn for the worst and the doctors had to call in children’s specialist who took her an hour away from me. After they took her, his family never showed up or called to see how I was doing. They did call one time to have him leave me and go see the baby and he said no they can wait until I get out. I only saw her once while I was in the hospital so I wanted them to wait. I was released on Monday although the doctor wanted to keep me I told them no, I need to go to my baby. So they said they would release me if I promise to get plenty of rest and take care of myself. If I had any problems to come back to them. My baby girl was in the hospital for 2 weeks, she didn’t get better until I was there with her. I had to take naps and just as I leave to take a nap, his family would show up and think it would be rude of me to not want to go there and let them see her. I had to take care of my own health before anyone else’s, the staff there was taking care of my daughter most of the time. When my daughter was released they would call me constantly like at least 20 times a day asking if I want them to take her. His family never pressed the DNA test after she was born. We went to his family’s Thanksgiving and then a week later had to take my baby girl to the hospital, where she stayed for 4 days. The doctors said she had group b strep and it was good I trusted my instinct and brought her there or she would have died within days. I even took her to her regular doctor first and he didn’t say anything about it just that it’s normal well an hour after we went there she just looked so bad. I decided to bring her to the hospital and sure enough she was sick. My husband and I stayed there until she was released his family did visit some. After she was released a couple of weeks later his sister showed up in town and my husband complained to her that I didn’t cook dinner that night for him. So she came over there and yelled at me and said if she had a baby she would still cook food for her husband. She also said that she might be pregnant and if I made her miscarry I would be in trouble. It was so horrible no one back then knew I was suffering from depression. I even went to my ob and she asked me the questions I answered them and she didn’t even see my suffering, but I hid it from everyone because if anyone found out it would make my life 10 times worse. We had to move in their farmhouse because our apartment had no shower to use. Every day they would drive their truck in the driveway and out the driveway and then when asked about it they didn’t do it. We finally had enough so we started looking for a house in another town and we found one didn’t even tell them about it and until we signed the papers and the house was ours. We moved in and everything was going good. In January of 2008 we began talking about growing our family more. Well in March of that same year I found out I was pregnant and then I miscarried because of all the stress. His family started talking to us about having their granddaughter for Easter and I had to work that day but after I got off I planned on painting Easter eggs with her. Well they talked to their son and supposedly he told them they can have her for Easter when I was right there and he said he had to talk to me first. They got so upset with me that they said things they can never take back and I told them to stop talking to us and they can’t see their grandchild. After that we didn’t talk to them for over a year and then they sent us a letter from their attorney stating that we would be taken to court if they don’t get to see their grandchild so we let them for a while. Everything seemed to be going good and then something happened that I don’t remember and it ended again. Oh yea I remember now they had her overnight for one night when we got her back she was calling me by my real name and not by mommy I was no longer mommy to her. And since then we have tried to be a family with them to no unveil there has been several miscommunications and they keep on talking bad about me to the whole family still. I just really don’t know what to do anymore. Im at a loss I have tried everything they never admit what they have done so they keep on making the same mistakes over again. They have never said they were sorry to me just that it shouldn’t have happened and people say stuff when they are mad. what to do? do you think this relationship is repairable and how to repair it? they will never admit they have made mistakes which makes it harder on me


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

If you want people to read and respond to your posts, you need to use paragraphs! This was very hard to read.




StarryEyes87 said:


> My husband and I met when we were young. I was 18 and he was 20. We met in February of 2006 and fell madly deeply in love with each other. We decided to get married so we told his parents and they would talk to us for hours about how big of a step it is and they don’t think it’s the right step for us. Well we also decided to start trying for a baby. Which we found out I was expecting in April of 2006. I was still in high school I graduated in May of 2006. When we found out we were going to wait to tell anyone until I go to the doctor and confirm it, somehow his parents found out and questioned him alone about it. You should have listened to your parents-getting married so early in life is generally not a good choice. Your personality has not even formed yet and you have not yet had the opportunity to be independent. High school students are not mature enough to be married parents.
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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Listen, your in-laws are destructive people. I don't know what your relationship with your husband is like, but *HE* needs to talk to his family and tell them to back off. HE needs to tell them in no uncertain terms that YOU are his wife and they will treat you with respect.

And I will tell you this with absolute confidence. Grandparents have NO legal rights regarding grandchildren (assuming you live in the USA). Read that again...NO LEGAL RIGHTS. Can they take you to court in an attempt to force you to let them see their grandchild?? Of course they can...and once they get there the court is going to kick them out on their ass. That child is yours and only YOU and your husband have authority to decide who has access to the child. The law does not allow grandparents any rights whatsoever. That letter was a BLUFF, pure and simple, and it worked...they got what they wanted. Next time, do not answer the letter and do not give in to their demands if you don't want to. That is pure unadulterated BU!!sh!t and pisses me off to end that they would take advantage of you like that.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Reading material for you. Get informed!

Grandparents Rights and Grandparent Visitation Rights


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