# He tells me to just move out



## MRB (Sep 4, 2010)

It's not that simple for me as a mom. We have been married 2 years and together for 7. I have 14 yr old and 9 yr old sons from a previous marriage and we have a 6 yr old son together. The last thing I want to do is yank another dad out from under my boys.

My husband works hard but is a pot smoker. He promised to quit before we got married. He always breaks his promise and smokes again. He's put me through a lot of hell with smoking and drinking and partying etc.

Things have been settled as far as drinking & partying for the last few years. Now we have the constant lies about pot. Just 2 months ago he said he'd quit and promised to "never lie to me again". LOL A few days ago he came home high as a kite. 

His response to my anger is for me to just move out. That simple huh? I feel like I need to stick it out for the sake of my kids. I enrolled in college so I can eventually make a life because right now I am a stay at home mom. I feel trapped. No job - living with a lying pot head.

I asked about this in another forum and they say it's not good to stay for the kids but why should I put my happiness first. The kids need 2 parents. 

He doesn't see pot as an issue so asking him to get help is a joke. Should I just suck it up, finish college, and plan my escape? It'll take me several years but I feel it's best for the kids.

If I don't complain about his lies and pot use then everything is happy! Except for me....


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## plymouth71 (May 10, 2010)

Your kids deserve a happy, healthy mom!

Let me tell you about my parents' divorce. On the outside, it looked perfect. My Dad was a lawyer, my Mom was a CEO. We lived the high life, 7 cars, vacations to ski lodges and Disney World, clothes, shoes, toys, a huge house, everything. But underneath it all, my Dad was cooking the books and hiding his money from my Mom. She was faced with the decision to either stay with my Dad and possibly go to jail for his dishonest business practices, or uproot me and my sister from our beloved father and raise us with no support from him.

She picked divorce. It took several years, but eventually my sister and I realized she did what was best for us, and for herself. Your kids will see that in time, too, especially if you continue to love them unconditionally and make it safe for them to express whatever they're feeling.

Here's something else to think about. It's one of the thoughts that finally pushed me out the door last week. When you die, no one is going to give you a medal for sacrificing yourself. There's no trophy or award for giving up your happiness, health or sanity. You've got this one life so don't waste another second of it!


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## Steph2010 (Nov 1, 2010)

plymouth71 said:


> Your kids deserve a happy, healthy mom!
> 
> When you die, no one is going to give you a medal for sacrificing yourself. There's no trophy or award for giving up your happiness, health or sanity. You've got this one life so don't waste another second of it!


AMEN!! Very true indeed. 

You only have one life and you should be happy. Your children will know if you are not happy.


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