# Messaging possible "porn stars"?



## missanimeotaku (Sep 23, 2011)

A couple of days ago, I caught my husband messaging 2 girls for explicit pictures over facebook. Now, over the 2 years we've been together, he used to talk to other girls all the time, hit on them, call them all sexy and gorgeous, ask for nude pictures, send them pics of his private parts, be listed as single on dating sites and would talk to women there and respond to posts from single women, text a bunch of random girls whenever I walked away for a bit or when he thought I wasn't looking, asked other girls about their breast sizes, and once he even recorded us doing sexual stuff without my knowledge and sent them to some girls without my consent. He even had this one girl on the World of Warcraft that said things like she wished she was going to bed with him instead of her own boyfriend and that she loved him and would type things like *kisses you passionately* and he would respond back to them saying *kisses you back* and things like that. So naturally, when I saw those messages, I freaked out, thinking he was finally done with that stuff, and he told me I'm freaking out over nothing because the girls were porn stars and that he wasn't flirting with them or doing the stuff he used to do, and because he deleted all of his porn on his phone and his computer for me (I didn't even tell him to do that at ALL). But even though he said that, I still think it's kind of wrong to ask women for those pictures, porn star or not, especially since he wasn't 100% sure these women were porn stars or not. He doesn't really know who's on the other side of that computer or how they would respond, and so I got really mad and emotional over it. He apparently told his friends about the situation, and they're siding with him and saying I'm being immature and that all guys do this. I KNOW guys look at porn and all, and I don't really care about that, but is it normal for guys to actually use facebook and message women like that for porn? If he used google or something to search for that stuff, it wouldn't be an issue with me, but that's not what he did. Am I crazy for feeling this way????


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He's a liar and a cheat.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Even if you don't see it as cheating.... it's totally paying ALOT of attention to other women and hurting his wife and marriage. 

Leave him. He is not into you or he wouldn't do this...doesn't matter what his excuses are. There is nothing he can say that could justify this behavior. He should never have gotten married.


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## misticli (Oct 28, 2011)

As a woman I fully support porn if it is not harming your a person's sex life. Your situation is different, when you start reaching accross the coputer screen and communicating with women, flirting and asking for their pictures that is crossing a line. 

I find what your husband is doing very disrespectful. 

I always tell people you teach other people how to treat you. The fact that he posted intimate moments with you online to other women in the past makes me want to throw up in my mouth. That is a sick thing to do. If he was truly remorseful for doing that then he would not be doing with he is doing now.

Do not listen to him about what his "friends" say. So many men will say that in their manly outings, but then they go home to the wife who would leave them if they ever tried it, and they know it. Men also have a tendency not to tell their buddies the whole story.


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## kevint (Mar 14, 2009)

At one point in my marriage I was him. I did the same exact thing. It took me years to get back the trust with my wife. He's just saying all guys do it to rationalize his actions. Like my wife did you have to hold him accountable. I learned my dam lesson doing that **** make sure he learns his.


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## missanimeotaku (Sep 23, 2011)

I feel a bit better at least knowing I'm not overreacting or anything like that. Sometimes he makes me feel like I'm crazy for feeling the way I feel and when problems like this come up, he usually brings up the fact that I've never been in a relationship before and that I'm not experienced enough to know how to properly feel or act in these situations. It makes me feel like I'm dumb and crazy. 

Kevint - Did you and your wife go to marriage counseling? I've been advised elsewhere to try that, and I'm curious to know if it may have helped your marriage.


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