# freeloading



## jessica99 (Apr 3, 2012)

It's been a month since I moved into my girlfriend's family house (lesbian). We just decided to live together since my home is far from my office, and we had difficulty seeing each other because of the distance. Before moving, we ask her family's approval to avoid any conflicts. Also I volunteered to give a certain amount of money as my share (twice a month) in their household. Whenever I'm home, I always help my gf in doing household chores - cooking, doing dishes & laundry, cleaning. I really try to help around the house since it isn't my house, and I want to show respect towards her family. 

I knew from the start her younger sister is jobless and just sorts of help my gf in running my gf's small business, in which btw they get most of their family income. Their mom works abroad, and send monthly allowance for her younger sister.

But things have gone bad since their brother met a vehicular accident. He could still walk (with a limp). But it really blows my mind how my gf paid for the hospitalization, given the fact that he's already married (his wife has a job). My gf just said that she was only helping him to get back on his feet, and she wouldn't extend any BIG FINANCIAL help towards them afterwards.

Unfortunately, a case was filed against her brother after he got discharged from the hospital. And then again, my gf is shouldering all the legal expenses for her brother's defense. His brother's family moved back to his parent's house (which is where I live with them). They don't help in household chores, don't give even a small amount of money to help in family's finances. Most of the time it's my gf and I who do things around the house. To make things worse, my gf's father lost his job, and just spends time lying on the sofa, watching TV most of the time. 

I know how difficult it is for her now. She has borrowed money from me many times, and I do not expect her to return it coz I don't want to be an additional burden since I have a job. My gf does the family budget and pays ALL the bills. I already told her to have a heart-to-heart talk with her family but she doesn't want to. She reasoned that she did it before, and got no response from them.

I love her with all my heart. But I think it isn't healthy for her to be the family's breadwinner since her family is still capable to work. I even suggested that we find a place of our own but she just can't leave their house since her business is in there. 

I really don't know what to advise her now.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

I'm sorry this sounds like a very tough situation. Your gf sounds like quite a person. Even so, this has to take a toll on your relationship. What is you talk to her, and tell her that you moved in with her to be with her but right now that just isn't possible. Perhaps you move out for awhile. Can you get a small apartment near your office? Maybe she could come spend time with you away from all of them. It would give her and you some time and it may actually help her. It wouldn't have to be anything big and I'm sure she's probably depending on the money you give as your share right now but this may be better in the long run for you both. Explain its a place she can come any time she likes and its her place too. What do you think?


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