# Being driven Mad



## kylie42 (Sep 1, 2013)

Hi All

I posted in the wrong place before under general EX Girlfriend

Husband got divorce papers last Thursday refused to open it until Friday morning then went to his girlfriends for the weekend came back Monday night being polite but trying to make me feel sorry for him saying "I am not well being going to the hospital every day" work is really rough and finally do I want to discuss anything? NO doing the 180 degree turn
Yesterday morning out if the blue I get a text message saying sorry I did not mean to hurt you, You deserve better hope you can find happiness elsewhere as I could not give you that x

I was happy he was the one after 15 years who run back to his old girlfriend as they had feeling for each other really no contact for 18 years and than your in love oh please give me the strength not to slap him ! 

Now 5 weeks into his new relationship which he is so in love I am getting the I am sorry routine I looked up Narcissistic felt like I was reading about him

We have to share the house until I can afford to move out and he needs to be here to go to work, his new girlfriends place is to far to travel 4 days a week but he can manage it on Monday and Fridays

I am confused about the text yesterday he stayed away last night said it was work but took no clothes, wash stuff for today why lie as he is happy saying he is off at the weekends what is going on is this just a mind game to him or is it total cake eater even though we have never said about trying to save the marriage?

Any advise would be very welcome


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## MyPainandHurt (Aug 30, 2013)

Kylie

I am so sorry you find yourself her, but you will get a lot of great advice that can hopefully provide insight.

My sitch is somewhat similar to yours. I too think my H is narcissitic and has been displaying behavior of some "unknown species". HE is uncaring, because right now, he only wants what he wants and he feels as though, we the LBS is holding him back from happiness.

Do not purpose him. Let him be. Really, ignore him. I know it is hard to do, but you have to leave him be. Have you read Divorce Remedy?


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

There are always reasons that an ex-relationship is an ex-relationship. He is in the honeymoon phase right now and he is in the fog of the affair, but this will pass in time and there is a good chance that his ex will regain that status in the future. How long that will take is hard to tell, but the chance of it being long term is not good. That should not change your decisions, you need to live your life and do what is best for you. 

If you have children you will obviously have to maintain an amiable relationship for their sake, as you will have to coparent for a period of time. Additionally, emotions do immediately disappear, regardless of what your stbx has done. This will cause you to ride that emotional rollercoaster, as you grieve the loss of the relationship. 

As for his actions, it is not always easy to tell his motive, he could be sincere. However, since he is the one that left, he probably would like to see you move on quickly as it makes it easier on him. This entire action is about his selfishness and his desire to feed them.


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