# Saddened and Willing



## eyez.burg (Jul 10, 2008)

Hi everyone. Ok, my guy and I have been together as a couple for a year and have known each other for about 3 years before that. A couple of days ago he said that he was frustrated with me and he suggested either seperation or breaking up. He says that Im not responsible and that he feels I have no strong goals. He also says that my insecurity is an issue. 

My goal is to get my masters in nursing. He says that he has to push me to get me to get anywhere and that he's told me many times and he feels I have just not listened. Since our last talk about it, a few months ago, I'm getting my CNA and working at becoming better. He feels that I haven't done as much as I couldve. 

There is also the insecurity thing. I'll admit...I am insecure. I trust him but I guess Im just afraid even though I know he won't do anything. I'm working very hard at getting over that. 

He says he didn't want to seperate and he doesn't want to break up. He also said that he is confused and lost and needs to see if I'm really what he wants. However, just when I think of positive things he says, I also think of negative. He also said that without me he wouldn't have to worry so much about doing something and that he's never had to ask permission about going out. He has the same insecurity as me but it just seems that he handles them better. 

I dont want to see us end. I know I could do better. I cried that night and he came close. I thought we were fine before this but I guess I was very wrong. He said that he wants me to be the one he marries, has kids with, and spends the rest of his life with.

This seperation scares me alot. I have a certain amount of time before we talk again to see the road we're gonna go down. I have texted him and sometimes he's sweet and other times hes cold-shoulder-ish. I would like to give him his space, but it's really hard. I know I have to stay busy and not think about it. All of my friends talk only about my ex when Im around and my family is not close. He's the only one that I have to talk to and hang out with. 

They say that true love will get through anything and I agree with that. However it's hard to get through something like this and think positive. I can put a front on at work and at school but when Im alone or at night...I cant handle it. It's pure hell. The only thing I can do is hope and pray.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

True love is something you work through together. He doesn't see this as true love and he is questioning what he wants. There is no need to wait on him and let him explore while you wait and give him more options. 

Take care of yourself. Make yourself better through college, job and your hobbies. Take time and explore your freedom and see if he really is the one you want.

After all is said and done if the both of you end up together then maybe you can chalk it up to fate. 

draconis


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Hi eyez.burg!

Draconis has some good advice. My marriage of 22 years is coming to an end and I'm now where you are. My husband is treating me as your guy is treating you. We never even had these issues until 18 months ago. I would say give him some space and give it some time. For now, concentrate on what you need to do. It's a lot easier to solve this problem now rather than years down the road. Its really tough when you have a business, children,etc., and have your spouse change his mind about your relationship.

Take one day at a time!


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