# Good to be ****ty?



## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Question for the men...ladies can share too, of course: )

My husband really enjoys acting like I'm a big **** in bed. Talks really dirty to me, pulls my hair, gets rough at times, etc...

I love it & go along with it now, but I'm not a **** in any sense of the word. 
He's the only man I've ever been with.

He finds a strange amount of joy calling me a **** & other things, (dirty *****, etc..)in & out of bed...it's always playful, never hurtful. 

Anyway, what makes a guy enjoy believing/acting like he's with a ****ty girl? 

Women are so bombarded with ideas that ****s are so trashy, dirty, nasty, etc..I love sex though, does that make me a ****?

It's taken me some time to get comfortable with him acting this way. Now it's all good, but just curious-
does it make sex better??

Thanks!!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Now hear this!

Whatever you both find enjoyable is good! Repeat that back!

I don't know why anyone has any particular like or dislike of anything, and I don't think anyone else does either. You like what you like and that's all the answer you need.

Lots of women dig that dirty talk, myself included. Treat me like a trampy **** in the bedroom but a queen everywhere else and it's all good!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Dunno. It's not my thing, but congratulations on the single most asterisk-laden post I've ever seen here.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

..and we both do enjoy it! : )
I just wonder why it turns a guy on so much to act like he's with a slvt.

Yeah, lots of **** in my OP  Ha!
I guess I put too many naughty words down in print- TAM got me covered!


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## CaptainMyCaptain (Sep 19, 2010)

I enjoy talking dirty to my wife. I don't call her names, but I think I will in the future. One night we listened to an audio recording that was really hot. The guy who made the recording pretended he was talking to a girl and calling her names. Later than night my wife started asking me to do the same. So, it is definitely something I will be adding to my repertoire. 
To answer your question, I think most men want to know they have conquered a ****ty woman. We want a woman who loves sex, but has chosen us as the one most able to satisfy her. It definitely turns me on to hear that at some point in the past my wife was a **** with someone, which may sound a bit strange to most on this site, but I have come to believe it is a common theme among men. I'm definitely not alone in this thrill. 
I hope this helps explain some of the psychology involved from a man's perspective. Congratulations on having a good and healthy sex life with your husband.



karma*girl said:


> Question for the men...ladies can share too, of course: )
> 
> My husband really enjoys acting like I'm a big **** in bed. Talks really dirty to me, pulls my hair, gets rough at times, etc...
> 
> ...


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

Most men want a **** in bed and a lady on the town.....


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## ChristianGrey (Nov 27, 2014)

I think Shakespearean English would be much more of a turn on, while she is dressed up as Mary Poppins.

Don't know about you guys but I enjoy Tarzan and Jane kinda thing more.


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## ChristianGrey (Nov 27, 2014)

naiveonedave said:


> Most men want a **** in bed and a lady on the town.....


Most men want to go to town on a lady.

FTFY.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The greater the lust, the greater the fun. Completely letting go and aggressively going for whatever you want is hugely exciting.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Don't overthink it. You're doing it right.


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Whatever gets you (both) going I fine.

Wouldn't work for me, but then, that's ok. I'm not with you


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

karma*girl said:


> ..*and we both do enjoy it! : )
> I just wonder why it turns a guy on so much to act like he's with a slvt.*
> 
> Yeah, lots of **** in my OP  Ha!
> I guess I put too many naughty words down in print- TAM got me covered!


Not all men can do this.. my H is not capable of acting even HALF of what you describe here .. he won't even use the word "f***"... though I can fill those shoes... I can pull off the dirty talking vixen pretty good... 

And he sure doesn't mind....but he is almost too tame.. I have wanted more dirty talk out of him in the past.. what can you do!!

I guess...so long as one partner is shaking it up -keeping it from being ho hum.. to get down & dirty, naughty.. and both enjoy it...what's better than that!

I think the majority of men love the idea of the Lady in the streets but all the explicits you list in the bedroom...(just for him).. 

And us women want a Gentleman by our side ...but a Bad boy in bed.. he sounds very Bad ! so that's very good !


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I do this to my wife too, not too often but from time to time.

You see, my wife is my **** and she likes it, so do I. Just knowing that she will do anything for me sexually is a big turn on. Calling her that etc just drives the sexual tension even more.

Also I love the fact that she is a complete **** for me, but on the outside/around other people she is simply a good wife and quite the opposite of ****.

Keep going along with it if he likes it.....and be whatever **** that he wants you to be.

You are a good wife.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Not all men can do this.. my H is not capable of acting even HALF of what you describe here .. he won't even use the word "f***"... though I can fill those shoes... I can pull off the dirty talking vixen pretty good...
> 
> And he sure doesn't mind....but he is almost too tame.. I have wanted more dirty talk out of him in the past.. what can you do!!
> 
> I guess...so long as one partner is shaking it up -keeping it from being ho hum.. to get down & dirty, naughty.. and both enjoy it...what's better than that!


*Simply: I am too much like your "better half", at least in that regard ~ I just never got into role-playing and was never real wild or adventurous in bed without being led on~ not that I didn't occasionally think about doing some wild things on my own accord! Guess that it's largely just a self-perception thing!

Maybe even an "old dog" can be taught "new tricks!"*


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Just for the record - not finding 'crude' terms and quasi-insulting expressions arousing, doesn't mean one can't be adventurous in the bedroom.

(Perhaps it's the violence association - I utterly separate violence/aggression and sex.)

BUT - we're both pretty much up for anything in the bedroom that involves just the two of us ... (and we'll discuss pretty much anything - just not in crude terms - and that might not be limited to just the two of us ....!)


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Rags said:


> Just for the record - not finding 'crude' terms and quasi-insulting expressions arousing, doesn't mean one can't be adventurous in the bedroom.
> 
> (Perhaps it's the violence association - I utterly separate violence/aggression and sex.)
> 
> BUT - we're both pretty much up for anything in the bedroom that involves just the two of us ... (and we'll discuss pretty much anything - just not in crude terms - and that might not be limited to just the two of us ....!)


*Other than for being told to do it by my rich, skanky XW, which I rarely did, it just didn't happen! And I can attest that it often peed her off to end. It just wasn't me!

I was more the quiet, loving, soft-spoken, methodical type who concentrated more on the bare basics of providing and accepting pleasure! But to holler, and scream, and call my partner a w**** or a s*** just isn't my bag, or even anywhere remotely in my loving nature!

Don't get me wrong! Provided the proper stimulus is applied, I can get worked up just as much as the next guy and be ten times as horny!*


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> I'll leave you here with a wholesome but yet censored image of an L.L.Bean catalog to help cheer you up!


*Hey, Santa! Judging from that pic, if I were lucky enough to be in it, I'm thinking that I'd have a big-ass grin on my face too!*


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

For men I think it is mostly about wanting a woman who has intense desire, is likely easy to please and is prepared to break the "rules" to do it. He doesn’t have to be "on his best behavior" but just get on with it.

For woman it is also probably about playing with the taboo and submission.


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

It depends on the guy - some like it, some don't.

I don't.

Talking dirty is super arousing, but calling my wife "derogatory" names just doesn't excite me, and would probably turn her off too.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Without any dirty talk, to me it feels like just going through the motions. You can do all of the adventurous stuff ever thought of, but if you're just putting up with it it doesn't really count.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I love your responses, thanks so much guys, (and girls!) 
It's really, really good to get the lowdown on what men think like..

Any suggestions on really good things to say to him??? 
He says all kinds of things to me & I respond, but for me to initiate the talking would be challenging for me! I want to do it though...
I don't care how dirty, just anything that would get him going...: )


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## D.H Mosquito (Jul 22, 2014)

I'm not much of a dirty talker but everyone is different, when it comes to sex then go with the flow sometimes it's sweet loving and others it's wilder more passionate, tastes change always a good idea to speak about it every so often new ideas likes and dislikes


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

karma*girl said:


> I love your responses, thanks so much guys, (and girls!)
> It's really, really good to get the lowdown on what men think like..
> 
> Any suggestions on really good things to say to him???
> ...


If he's into the name calling, a good thing to do would be to refer to yourself by those names. "I'm your ****", "**** me like a ______" etc.


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## 343612534 (Apr 15, 2014)

karma*girl said:


> Anyway, what makes a guy enjoy believing/acting like he's with a ****ty girl?


There can be a a bit of several things.

A slight but not overpowering need to dominate
The remnants of the Madonna wh o re complex
Sl u ty girls are more fun than starfish
Needing to believe that they have conquered the wh o re


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

karma*girl said:


> I love your responses, thanks so much guys, (and girls!)
> It's really, really good to get the lowdown on what men think like..
> 
> Any suggestions on really good things to say to him???
> ...


I suppose that would depend on the kinds of things he says to you, but you could try repeating the things he says - like an affirmation type of thing.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

karma*girl said:


> It's taken me some time to get comfortable with him acting this way. Now it's all good, but just curious-
> does it make sex better??
> 
> Thanks!!


Oh my goodness you are one lucky lady!!!!!!!!!

I know you asked for men's input but I just gotta say-for me, it makes sex waaaay better.:smthumbup:

Enjoy!!!!!


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## seattle_stranger (Nov 4, 2014)

My lady and I have skimmed this iceberg, but it's definitely not a staple in our bedroom. I wonder how much she desires it...

She likes it when I pull her hair, definitely enjoys a good spanking, and has no problem asking for it harder by using colorful vocabulary. I'm willing to bet she would enjoy being called dirty names, especially if it's prefaced with "my". The more I think about this, the more I'm coming to the conclusion that yeah, she probably is craving this....

Personally, it doesn't do it for me. Violence, harshness, pain, all that stuff just doesn't belong in the bedroom, I like soft, hot, wet, sticky closeness....you know, all that vanilla crap  A girl I used to frequent in the past used to ask me to choke her during sex, and that always just weirded me out.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Oh, I love vanilla too..slow & teasing, but really intense..I think the other side is equally good because of the same thing- the intensity & passion behind it. As long as there is passion, I don't care how it's going down: )

There isn't any violence or pain involved in what we do..well, I do love getting spanked but I think I have a thing for being controlled in the bedroom. It just feels so good! But it doesn't happen all the time, which is good- I might get bored of it, or desensitized. 

We've also experimented with his hands on my throat briefly during our sessions..no air is ever cut off..no way would I like that. But I do love feeling like he has me completely under his control. It increases my arousal level by A LOT! 

When it comes to being kinky or out of my comfort zone, I realized that if it's his idea, I can just go with it and then I can't be rejected for bringing up something weird. There are many things I want but too embarrassed to ask for.
Many women, I think, would be more adventurous if their spouse seriously encouraged it.
(I realize some cannot though.)


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I love it, but only because my husband is really good at it and makes me feel HOT and wonderful and sexual (whereas if he didn't do it right, it would just sound dumb or uninteresting or insulting). Wrote this blog post about it:

I Married a Sex God: Humiliation and Degradation...Woot!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> I love it, but only because my husband is really good at it and makes me feel HOT and wonderful and sexual (whereas if he didn't do it right, it would just sound dumb or uninteresting or insulting). Wrote this blog post about it:
> 
> I Married a Sex God: Humiliation and Degradation...Woot!


That is one of my favorite blog posts!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

This one is similar in flavor...

I Married a Sex God: Sexual Instructions


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

We don't do derogatory names but go all out. I might have to explore a little. It seems a lot of couples like this?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> I love it, but only because my husband is really good at it and makes me feel HOT and wonderful and sexual (whereas if he didn't do it right, it would just sound dumb or uninteresting or insulting). Wrote this blog post about it:
> 
> I Married a Sex God: Humiliation and Degradation...Woot!


Very fun FW!&#55357;&#56841;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

karma*girl said:


> Question for the men...ladies can share too, of course: )
> 
> My husband really enjoys acting like I'm a big **** in bed. Talks really dirty to me, pulls my hair, gets rough at times, etc...
> 
> ...


Are you saying there is another way to phuck?

Why would even ask this question?

I"m confused....is being a dirty girl bad?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

So as an example...the above would sound uninteresting to me.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I asked because I wondered what goes on in a man's head to make him want to believe he's with a slvtty chick. Isn't it better to be with a good girl? 

Girls grow up, (in general,) thinking being a **** is bad..not a good thing to be.

Then I find myself in a committed relationship, first guy EVER to have sex with & I wind up marrying him. 

Fast-forward many years & we've learned to experiment with fun new ways to approach sex. But being called a slvt & acting slvtty for him took me some getting used to, because of what we learn growing up. I'm not even religious, but as a girl in society, we still learn not to be loose. BUT- now I love it & I've learned that it's okay to embrace my love for anything sexual. 

It's funny because at first, it was so wrong in my head...but my body was instantly hot & turned ON, in a big way. So confusing, ha!

There are plenty of people that do not partake in anything kinky like that, which is totally fine! Whatever works for the couple: ) We mix it up from tame to kinky to lots in between. 

It's fun & helpful to know the thoughts everyone has on this, thanks all!!!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Well, what do you think a man would rather hear from his woman:

Honey, you're SO good and nice and such a sweetheart. --or--

Baby, you are HOT and SEXY and I love it when you F my brains out!

Both are good, but one is hot and fun, the other is just sweet. Is it really so hard to get?


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

But see the thing is, we are made to believe, they want the good girl..the slvts are the ones they don't take seriously & treat with disrespect. 

Now, to marry the two & figure out how to do it comfortably within a respectful marriage has been a (fun) discovery. 
I mean, I understand it now, but the process of learning it has been interesting. 

Understanding where the guys heads are at is a good thing. ( :


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I guess it is easier for me because no one ever told me "they want the good girl".


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

If the OP is still around... In my case its that I really enjoy the idea that I can turn my lady on (and turn her out) like she's never had before. She's a lady 98% of the time but I have a key to that other 2% and its our place and ours alone. There she is my ****** and my ****** and my ****** and I love her for it.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I like that, Shoto1984...you have the key to that special 2% and it's exclusively for you both to share. That's a big part of what makes it so hot: )


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

karma*girl said:


> But see the thing is, we are made to believe, they want the good girl..the slvts are the ones they don't take seriously & treat with disrespect.
> 
> Now, to marry the two & figure out how to do it comfortably within a respectful marriage has been a (fun) discovery.
> I mean, I understand it now, but the process of learning it has been interesting.
> ...


I guess conventional social theory is the taboo nature of a sexually aggressive woman arises from male insecurities and the need to have certainty in paternity. But it also is very much about other women and competition. In my experience, judgments about "sl*tty behavior is just as likely or more to come from other women.

If a man is not really worried about the fideltiy of his partner, then it is easy to see why playing with the idea that she is a sex crazy nympho can be fun. In a context of a committed relationship, it is easy to see how a woman could feel free to express a need to be outwardly hot and sexual without judgment from other women. 

But most importanly, when it comes to fantasies and sexual roleplay, if you both find it fun, then maybe you should just enjoy it without trying to disect it and potentially ruin it.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

The point of visiting here IS to figure things out & learn..if that's what you mean by dissecting, then okay: ) 
Understanding something, for me anyways, only gives me a greater respect for it..it won't ruin it. It's a good thing to have a place like this to come & ask questions & bounce ideas off of everyone. 
I appreciate all of the feedback!


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

The point of visiting here IS to figure things out & learn..if that's what you mean by dissecting, then okay: ) 
Understanding something, for me anyways, only gives me a greater respect for it..it won't ruin it. It's a good thing to have a place like this to come & ask questions & bounce ideas off of everyone. 
I appreciate all of the feedback!


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## FatherofTwo (Dec 6, 2014)

My wife enjoys naughty talk. It seems to stir deep inside when I call her degrading and filthy names while we're at it ?? She even jokes that me calling her a sl*t is a compliment.

I guess it does allow her to just " let go and enjoy " herself more so if she thinks of herself this way ? It doesnt bother me and she really gets off on it so we both win and no one gets hurt !


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Cletus said:


> Dunno. It's not my thing, but congratulations on the single most asterisk-laden post I've ever seen here.


:rofl:



karma*girl said:


> It's taken me some time to get comfortable with him acting this way. Now it's all good, but just curious-does it make sex better??


It sounds like it does for him. And you. So enjoy it. He seems to get a kick out of it. 

I have been with someone who has a particular kink that a lot many find really weird and odd, but I discovered...





I like it. 

To each their own. 

If you're both happy, keep it up.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


????!

Well now that you have teased us

You can tell us you're among friends


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I personally don't do the name calling thing...unless requested of course I'm not above taking requests. But love the dirt talk and so does the GF.

Nothing derogatory about any of it so long as both parties enjoy.


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## BucksBunny (Jan 6, 2015)

Karma if I may, is that the only thing that rocks his boat?

I would be slightly concerned if it is. Girl here I have many different sexual expression in bedroom from swinging off the curtains, wild, go for it times to sweet, close comfortable, me. Much dependant on my and H mood so where you go been there and I understand the enjoy but I also go other places Variety spice of life yea.

So any one thing in bedroom hell yes no problem, but I want that restaurant to have a big menu to pick from for us both. If that is only dish on list I would be concerned the steak is great here but I am not in the mood can I just order a small salad tonight thanks, with me?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

intheory said:


> Come on Faithful; crude dialects are part of language too


*I do know that while I can occasionally be rude in my verbiage, more especially with my trusted male friends, I rarely, if ever, am that way with any of my female counterparts. And I think that largely stems from the fact, that to do so, has a marked possibility to harm my persona as the good, highly likeable guy who people believe that I am.

That being said, I really don't believe it is inherently wrong for a loving couple who want to incorporate "salty" and provocative language into their lovemaking regimen, no more than occasionally incorporating a little fantasy play into it!

While some of us have been raised a little more sheltered and socially conservatively than others, should really have no real bearing upon what it is that we may verbalize to our partners during the sex act itself. Sex is not only a biological necessity for us, but an even bigger psychological one, as well.

I heard this sexual therapist/psychologist on a marital relations videotape say once, and sorry that while I can't seem to remember his name at the moment, about the usage of "dirty language" during lovemaking, more especially when being near the throws of orgasmic inevitability, say, paraphrasing:

"Dirty talk is good. It's a valuable escape mechanism that should be totally fun between two loving people. But guys, no matter how much of a 'stuffed-shirt' that you are, always remember that when pumping away in total orgasmic ecstacy on your loving woman, the most loving and romantically endearing words of Percy Bysshe Shelley, 'Bird thou never wert' just doesn't cut it ~ 'f**k me, f**k me, f**k me' cuts it!"​*


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

BucksBunny said:


> Karma if I may, is that the only thing that rocks his boat?
> 
> 
> 
> So any one thing in bedroom hell yes no problem, but I want that restaurant to have a big menu to pick from for us both. If that is only dish on list I would be concerned the steak is great here but I am not in the mood can I just order a small salad tonight thanks, with me?



I personally like a menu with a big variety. Some people are happy with the same thing all the time. For people like that, as long as they are aware of the other possibilities unless they are curious about the rest of the menu there is very little point in trying to convince them to change.

If it works for both of them, then absent some other issue I see no reason to mess with it.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

karma*girl said:


> Question for the men...ladies can share too, of course: )
> 
> My husband really enjoys acting like I'm a big **** in bed. Talks really dirty to me, pulls my hair, gets rough at times, etc...
> 
> ...


It's simply what makes sex sexy, for men.
I speak only for myself, but I believe, deep down in every man is a cave man. We just want to take you in a very nasty, dirty kind of way. It makes us feel like manly men. It's probably a power thing too. Also, the more "cave man" we act to your submission to said "cave man" the sexier it becomes.
Congratulations on allowing and enjoying this with your husband. You have no idea how great this makes him feel!
You go girl !!!!


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## Fringuello (Jan 25, 2015)

I agree with UMP, the cave man in me craves dirty talk and name calling.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Not my bag. I don't find any sexual acts between spouses inherently degrading, but I'm not turned on at all by thinking of my wife as a slvt or talking to her like that in bed. I actually don't even like to see porn where women are treated like that, which a lot of it does. 

But if both of you are into it, that's all that matters. Have fun and don't overthink this.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

I don't do 'dirty talk' by default but, like a DJ, I'll do requests. Prone to giggling though.

Back in my youth, I had a girl complain that I didn't grunt or groan enough so she figured I wasn't enjoying it. 

Clearly, then,, I shàg like a ninja.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Faithful Wife said:


> *Well, what do you think a man would rather hear from his woman:*
> 
> Honey, you're SO good and nice and such a sweetheart. --or--
> 
> ...


 I just asked my Husband sitting here this question, which he likes MORE....

I don't think he is the norm ..he can't say he likes one over the other...he loves them both !!

And I definitely USE BOTH..letting him know HOW much I appreciate all he does, being a good man..I've called him sweet so many times..praising him on being an attentive dad..then I can slip into those other shoes.. 

Telling him how he turns me on and I want his body..LIKE [email protected]# ...what he does to me.. . though probably most men would prefer THE







flirtatious salivating / "groping for it" -because it's something they are not getting at home.. I am pretty good at laying it on pretty* THICK* ..so he gets his fill..


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

karma*girl said:


> Question for the men...ladies can share too, of course: )
> 
> My husband really enjoys acting like I'm a big **** in bed. Talks really dirty to me, pulls my hair, gets rough at times, etc...
> 
> ...


My W will always say she is a w*hore in the bedroom and a lady in the parlor. With that in mind, talking dirty, rough play, hair pulling...does make sex for her better/exciting/primal. And...it makes sex for me fantastic.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

karma*girl said:


> But see the thing is, we are made to believe, they want the good girl..the slvts are the ones they don't take seriously & treat with disrespect.
> 
> Now, to marry the two & figure out how to do it comfortably within a respectful marriage has been a (fun) discovery.
> I mean, I understand it now, but the process of learning it has been interesting.
> ...


I tried to send you a PM about this, but your PM's are turned off. Id like to discuss this a bit more but not on the public forum. If you're comfortable with this send me a PM so I can reply and continue this discussion?


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