# Did my mom have a justified reason for getting angry at my wife



## dasexyfroto (Mar 3, 2010)

My wife and I have been married for about 9 months now. A few days ago she took a little vacation with her sister and another female friend to celebrate her sister's 30th birthday. In turn, I took a few days off work to visit my college buddy. In any event, when I returned home, I have come to find out that my mother is a little upset at my wife for doing this. My mother feels that during the first few years of marriage, especially the first year, that a married couple should not be taking any vacations on their own. Now do you think my mom is justified in this and has a right to be angry at my wife? She feels that my wife is a married woman now and should not be doing stuff like this with her sister, etc. Any thoughts or feelings into this matter? Thanks in advance


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

First - Its none of your mother's business - she doesn't get to set the 'rules' for your marriage. If you were ok with it and your wife was ok with it then that's all that matters. The fact that you are actually asking who is right - your mother or your wife - needs to stop now or you will have issues later on in your marriage. Interfering in-laws cause all sorts of problems.

Second - From what you wrote - she is only mad at your at your wife? You went on a vacation as well. And don't say its only because your wife left. If you go by what your mother said, you should of been at home moping because your wife left you for a few days. 

When you get married your mother is no longer the most important women in your life - that's your wifes spot. I think you need to readjust your thinking now in order to stop future problems.


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## bravo99 (Mar 2, 2010)

Congrats on a great relationship that you can both enjoy time apart in a healthy relationship. There was nothing wrong with you both spending time with friends and family. It's great as long as all of your vacations aren't apart. Your mom needs to chill, big time and not worry about the choices you and your wife make.


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## Mo Simpson (Jun 3, 2009)

My instinct is to tell your mother where to go! But to keep the peace, just tell your mother that it's not her business.

If your mother has the sense to see that your wife is married, then she must also acknowledge that you are a married man now.

That means that how you and your wife choose to take holidays apart from each other is your business. So long as you are both happy and comfortable with your marriage and how things are between you, that's all that matters.

You really do need to be careful if you give your mother too much scope to interfer in your marriage. Not only will your wife not like this but you will be giving your mother a rod to beat you!

Tell your mother to butt out!


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## marcy* (Feb 27, 2010)

Usually mothers in law interfere a lot, especially if they live with the couple. My mom lived with her mother in law till the day my grandmother died. I loved my grandmother, but I will say that my mother got some bad times because of her. She was and the reason why my father hit my mother once. My grandmother would complain to her sons and daughters for no reason. Sometimes she made things up. 
I think she just did it because wanted more attention from her children. Even though she said bad things about my mom, she liked my mother. She couldn't stay longer than a week away from the house. My mom was very patient with her, even though she didn't like her. 
You have to let your mom know that what you do is your business. You have to let her understand that you still love her, and your love for her will not change and has nothing to do with his relationship with his wife.


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## bigfamily (Mar 11, 2010)

Don't let your mother control your relationship. If you and your wife agree on separate get aways, it is your business and noone elses. It's healthy to be away from each other once in a while. It will bring you closer together. Good luck and congratulations on your wedding.


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

relationships are so different from year to year and from marriage to marriage... 

there are no rules... NONE there are joint agreeing sides that join to make a life together.

if you are ok with her spending time with her family and you enjoyed your time then ALL is good..

as for your mother... and peace. it is your place being her son to note to your mother that you love and trust your wife and she loves and trust you so she needs to trust you now and stay out of some things... 

don't get upset for your mother her believes are her believes and i am sure she is looking out for you the best she knows how so now your job to assure her you are ok and she can express her feelings (nicely) or keep them to herself.... you are a big boy and married and she taught you well (let her know these things) this marriage is new to her but lay a firm line now or it will get worse.


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