# Please advise Hubby never takes me seriously



## wifeyre (Oct 18, 2013)

I need some advise 

I have been married for 4 years now and I'm so unhappy 

When I was still dating my H everything was fine then I got pregnant , he was happy that I was but he wasn't treating like he should, I remember there was a time during my pregnancy that he told me I was boring and he is falling in love with someone else (his ex), I told him that he was hurting my feelings and he threatened to kill himself. When I had a child he demanded sex immediately when I got home with those sore stitches and it was natural birth , he said if I don't want, then I'm pushing him to get it outside. I had to do it as painful as it was (after all this he brought me flowers for the first time and that was the last time he brought me flowers, I think he was feeling guilty for what he did) soon after that I couldn't bare the thought of him even touching me and even now he complains about how I push him away. He never stops to think about how I feel , he expects me to always be the mood for my private parts to be touched anytime , when I'm fast asleep, when I'm cooking , cleaning even when I do not feel like it.even when we watching TV he would start touching me brushing me, I mean like it never occurs to him to just stop. we never ever just cuddle and I often feel like s** is all I'm here for. He would try to play with me at that time and grab me very hard that I cannot move and he would have hi p**** against my behind and I would have to fight so hard to free myself.

Then I noticed that if anything happens from my families side or if they say anything about him, I stand up for him and be on his side at all times.
then when it comes to his family he doesn't stand up for me, he lets everyone say whatever they wanna say about me doesn't matter how ugly they talk he won't stand up for me, this has happened on several occasions. Even with his friends he doesn't stand up for me but if I say something about his friends he would rather lose me over them. One time he wanted to invite this friend of his who happens to be his brothers ex gf and this woman is also friends with H's ex gf. He wanted her to come and sleep over at our place i told him "No" he shouted at me without asking why I said "no" things were bad that he was willing to leave the relationship and choose her over me.

I feel like he is being selfish and thinks about himself only. I have asked for us to buy a house and he doesn't want to cause he says a house repayments (R3800- R4500) are very expensive for us (looking at the budget) then he goes and buys me a car (which he likes) and the car repayments are R5000, then now our budget is not looking so good then he goes on about how he also wants a car which he chose himself and I'm paying for it. One time we argued and he took the car that he said he bought for me and told me that I must use taxis.

Early this year I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar I was admitted for a week when I was going to hospital to be admitted all he said was " you don't have to be admitted" ,"you are not even sick you can take treatment at home" not even once did I hear him assure me that everything will be fine or assuring me that he is there for me.Every day when he came to visit he would ask me why don't I just tell the doctor that I wanted to go home. Once I was discharged he asked me why do I have to drink these pills that I'm not sick and all. when I go to doctors appointments he would not want to go with me for support even when I asked him nicely on time. He would ask me why do I even go to the doctor cause he thinks I'm fine.I ended up stopping treatment and not going to the doctor's appointment cause of the things he said.

When we argue he would say things like (to me) "You don't think". I often feel less of a woman, when he addresses issues he has this rude way of doing it and when I confront him he pretends that he is listening and that he understands so I can tell him everything and trust that he understands then hours later he will bring it up and I know at that time that things will be bad. 

He says that in this relationship he doesn't make any decisions cause I make all the decisions don't know what he is talking about cause he makes all the decisions.
I love him and I wanna fix things but how will I do that if he doesn't even value me or take me seriously?
the only time I have heard him agree to something without any later arguments brought up was with a councillor and I don't think I can leave a life of reporting to the councillor for him to listen. 
He suggested that we go to the councillor just yesterday and I asked him " When it suits you?". He gave me a chance to say the things I do not like about him before I could even finish he started laughing he doesn't even realise how serious this is to me, so I told him that he will tell me when he is ready to listen to me and take me seriously.

He brings out the worst in me, I'm already making plans of moving out cause I do not feel any love at all.


----------



## accept1 (Sep 23, 2013)

If everything you say here is really true I would give up.


----------



## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

wifeyre said:


> When I had a child he demanded sex immediately when I got home with those sore stitches and it was natural birth , he said if I don't want, then I'm pushing him to get it outside.


This should have been the end of things. This is beyond narcissism, it is sadistic. No need to even read the rest. Why would you accept such treatment? Your self-esteem must be zero. 

Get rid of this loser. Whatever you think is wrong with you, you don't deserve a life like this.


----------



## onestepatatime (Oct 23, 2013)

You are in an abusive relationship (emotional abuse) with someone who doesn't respect you. I am appalled at his behaviour, especially demanding sex with stitches! You don't need him. What he is doing is NOT OK!!


----------



## wifeyre (Oct 18, 2013)

I just wanted to come on here and update . Finally divorced the monster 2015 November, thank you all guys for your responses it took me a year after posting on here to realise how abused I was but I'm glad some light was shed from here and I'm a happy single mom


----------



## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

wifeyre said:


> I just wanted to come on here and update . Finally divorced the monster 2015 November, thank you all guys for your responses it took me a year after posting on here to realise how abused I was but I'm glad some light was shed from here and I'm a happy single mom


Good for you!! I'm glad that you were able to move on.


----------

