# Divorce will proceed but clarifying questions about the future



## DADX2 (Oct 29, 2013)

Been married for nine years. I am very co dependent she was very independent and had several conversations to try to fix but never did ( our issues stemmed from my first divorce ex wife cheated on me). This marriage After 9 years she checked out, she moved out and is in the process of filing divorce . She helped raise my boys for 9 years and wants to stay in their lives as long as they want her too.

Here is my question, she is a great girl. I know this is her intention as she would never hurt my boys. But is this really possible? How will this not cloudy the waters? I told her everyone has a second mother. Maybe it will dwindle down to birthdays overtime which is still cool. 

Here is my second question, will she ever regret leaving us? Will it hit her? Ive never once heard her cry about it, or show any emotion to it. We have promised ambilicle processes, and she does not want to hurt me anymore than she did by leaving. We have agreed to not apologize for the past. Just learn and fix our own issues. She checked out after giving us CPR several times. She lost a ton of a weight I was there from thin to thick to thin, She has gone back to school, she even uttered the word mid life crisis right before we split. 

im bringing this up for a two fold reason 
1) is im bracing for total disconnect overtime to just face book friends as she is friends with all her exes on facebook. Like said she is a great girl. 

2)The other side of the coin, im waiting to see if she breaks out of the mid life crisis and falls down. Not that im waiting in to swoop in, but I know her well enough when she falls it happens fast and quick and I don't want to see her get hurt so im looking maybe for advice on how to watch for this. She has spent almost every night hanging with friends which great a support for her. But at some point that will wear off, all her friends are married.. You can only integrate your single life into a marriage so long.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

I personally would say no to still having her in your life in anyway. She chose to leave. I could be wrong but like Jeff foxworth said women don't leave committed relationships unless they are already ridding another pony or have one cut from the heard and the saddle out of the barn. Right now she is acting like she wants to stay friends and in the kids life but it is all an act and she will change. Don't hurt your kids more by keeping her in thier life's....let her totally go. Just my .02 cents
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

DADx2,

I think you are being a bit delusional. She helped raise your boys and that is great.

She is still friends with all of her EX(s) on FB... Nothing good comes of that. Divorce is meant to be final. Severe the ties. If she sends the kids birthday cards, that is great. She is walking out on you and your boys... Ok, well be a great dad! That is what you need to do.

She left. Shut the door and don't look back. You are being needy and clingy. That is not attractive. If she walks, she has left you. Go find someone else.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

DONT be too surprised when she ends up in a relationship very fast with one of those exes or maybe some other dude.


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