# He lied about his age...



## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

Hi there. I was on here a few weeks ago sharing concerns about a guy I met about 2 months ago now. We have been out together on about 3 dates. As I mentioned most of our contact has been by phone or text because we have had trips etc planned before we met.

Anyway, he is VERY serious. He has always been very clear that he wants children -- he's never been married and his online profile said he was 41. Well, last date he told me much of his family drama and struggles -- I told him some very personal trauma from my childhood. I told him I wanted him to know the good bad and ugly. He then asked me again if I was sure I wanted more children. I said yes.

He started even hinting at how he hasn't felt this way before about anyone other than his previous fiance. Talking and dreaming about our future together.

Then, for some reason I got a weird feeling about things. So I did a background check on him. He is really 50 years old. 
He never told me.

So this morning I asked him flat out if he was "41" or "42"...and he told me that he was 50. He said I thought you knew? I said no -- you swore when I first started talking to you that everything on your online profile (which he closed down right away when we started talking) was accurate. He said is it a problem? I said ahhh...well, the problem really is that you lied to me.

He got enraged and said it was just a "miscommunication".

Here's the deal....I really fell for the guy. Now I just feel fooled.
Would you pursue this, if you were me?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Well, lying about his age seems like a little thing. But, it makes you wonder. If he will lie about little things, what else is he not being completely honest about. And the fact that he became enraged over the issue would make me wonder. You may need to do more digging. If nothing else turns up, things might work out. When dealing with a liar, precede with caution though.


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## LuvMyH (Nov 11, 2009)

My husband lied about his age when we met. He told me he was 5 yrs younger than me and then when we started getting serious, he confessed to being 9 yrs younger than me. Once I got past the shock, I thought it was cute and flattering that he wanted to date me so badly he lied his age. 

After the things we've been through, I would advise you to see his lying as a red flag. My husband has been dishonest with me about things big and small throughout our relationship. Things have greatly improved in that area, but it took alot of work and heartache to get to this point. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband - but, If I knew then what I know now...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

He's not the first person to lie in an online profile, so I'm not sure how much weight that carries here. 

He's probably feeling a bit insecure about his age and prospects to be a father. His biological clock is ticking, so to speak. I imagine he lied about his age in the dating profile because he wanted to attract a woman to have children with, but didn't want to be qualified out before he could meet someone. Dating and relationships are so different.

If you are okay with the age difference, I'd overlook it. But I'd tell him that you are not okay with lying in a relationship, and just be aware of it.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Often people lie in their online dating profiles. It's hard to simply trust that what you see on there is the truth. 

The fact that he lied about his age is a red flag to me. It's one that I would consider overlooking if he came clean and was totally honest after that. 

The fact that he got "enraged" over you calling him out on his lie is the biggest red flag, though. That, to me, indicates a major problem. He lied; most people would be humbled, apologetic, and ashamed when called out on a lie. He got enraged. This is not a normal reaction. 

I'd get as far away from his as you can as quickly as you can.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Men who are comfortable with themselves never lie about their age. I'm 61, told I don't look it and I certainly don't feel it, but I have no problem with my age.

A man can be 30 or 50, the 50 yo can be younger in heart and fitter than the 30 yo. There ain't no reason to lie.

Men who do lie about their age are being manipulative. So if you go with a man who isn't ruthful about his age expect to be manipulated.

Bob


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

Yes I agree. It was weird. He told me his age on the phone when I questioned him and when he said 50. I said "I'm sorry your phone broke up" and he said "did I stutter"
I said no no. I am just a bit stunned He said if this bothers you tell me now. I said well I just need to digest this a bit but said I don't think it does... I'm just surprised. After a little bit of mindless conversation I had to go to a meeting. We got off and he sent me a text saying he thought I knew because he "told me what year he bought his company and he thought I was enough of a researcher to figure it out". I responded by saying it wouldn't bother me probably had he told me right away and not lied about it". He called instantly leaving me a voicemail ... Very upset saying that he didn't want negative harsh criticism that he didn't deserve and calling him a lier was below the belt and how he's glad he's not living a judgmental life like me. He then said it's clear what you want so have a nice life. 

I was stunned. 




atruckersgirl said:


> Often people lie in their online dating profiles. It's hard to simply trust that what you see on there is the truth.
> 
> The fact that he lied about his age is a red flag to me. It's one that I would consider overlooking if he came clean and was totally honest after that.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

Am I completely nuts to try to make this right? I really liked this guy... But he shut me down because he thought I was "judging" him. I didn't judge. I was just saying he wasn't forthcoming by lying to me. Am I crazy to contact him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Damselfish (May 21, 2010)

Sorry, FT, it is a HUGE red flag!!! He sounds manipulative and psychologically abusive (game player). I know it's not what you want to hear; it hurts to get your hopes up only to be let down. If I were you, I would forget him and move on and learn from the experience. Always, always, always follow your instincts!

Good luck and best wishes!


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

Yes, you are crazy to contact him. Three dates in and he's acting weird. You weren't judging him, you were stating that he lied about his age, which is true. 

With dating, you need to take a very brutal attitude and move on from people that exhibit red flags too early. Lying about the age is one thing, getting defensive and blowing you off, is another. The blowing off behavior speaks to a very defensive, passive-aggressive personality. Why deliberately complicate your life. There are other men in the dating pool.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I think his behavior has now answered the question for you. The initial lie turned into something even more troubling.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

AFEH said:


> Men who are comfortable with themselves never lie about their age. I'm 61, told I don't look it and I certainly don't feel it, but I have no problem with my age.
> 
> A man can be 30 or 50, the 50 yo can be younger in heart and fitter than the 30 yo. There ain't no reason to lie.
> 
> Men who do lie about their age are being manipulative. So if you go with a man who isn't ruthful about his age expect to be manipulated


BOY did you hit this head on! When I was in my 30's I was insecure and might have lied about my age to "please" someone too or get what I wanted, but now that I'm almost 50 I have no problem whatsoever telling someone my actual age because I am who I am. 

The fact he lied shows a bit of a red flag that would warn me. 

The fact that he became enraged when you found out the truth and asks for truthfulness is a gigantic red flag. He's not a bit embarrassed or hoping to please you--he's manipulating someone to get what he wants, no matter what the cost to them. 

I would say Bob is dead on target - RUN!!!


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

Yeah, I had already seen slight signs of manipulation. I get up very early in the morning for work and he would text me constantly saying ge wanted to talk because "he couldn't sleep". I would participate. But he would demand I send him a picture of myself. If I didn't obligue because I was working ... He would say "I thought you were the one but I guess not ha ha". " I thought you were REAL and would snap a pic in any setting". This morning I said no sorry I'm busy. So he ignored me for hrs on text. He said he was "pouting"

The guy appeared to have the right values but in hindsight I guess this is a blessing. He started talking about being together forever after 2 weeks. He's a millionaire. But who cares about money when he's a FREAK. No wonder he's 50 and never married
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

firsttimer25 said:


> The guy appeared to have the right values but in hindsight I guess this is a blessing. He started talking about being together forever after 2 weeks. He's a millionaire. But who cares about money when he's a FREAK. No wonder he's 50 and never married
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes. 50 and never married is a big fat peter pan red flag. You're doing the right thing.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

firsttimer25 said:


> Yeah, I had already seen slight signs of manipulation. I get up very early in the morning for work and he would text me constantly saying ge wanted to talk because "he couldn't sleep". I would participate. But he would demand I send him a picture of myself. If I didn't obligue because I was working ... He would say "I thought you were the one but I guess not ha ha". " I thought you were REAL and would snap a pic in any setting". This morning I said no sorry I'm busy. So he ignored me for hrs on text. He said he was "pouting"
> 
> The guy appeared to have the right values but in hindsight I guess this is a blessing. He started talking about being together forever after 2 weeks. He's a millionaire. But who cares about money when he's a FREAK. No wonder he's 50 and never married
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How did he make his millions? Why does he have so much time to text you during the day? A millionaire is not usually idle during the day if his money comes from a business. He may be lying about the money too. 

I would think that a sane man would not talk about marriage in the first two weeks of a relationship. He is probably the type who runs white hot in the beginning of a relationship and burns out after a month or two. My advice, never get involved with a man who comes on too strong, hot and heavy. This type of person likes the excitement of the chase only and losses interest as soon as the prey is caught. You are lucky you found out about the age issues now and it caused you to doubt him before things got too far.


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

Well honestly this was a blessing. To answer your questions... I do believe he has the money he says he does. I checked the appraisal records etc.. That were public. 

But I can't believe how this all transpired. He turned into a nut! He textede today and said it was now up to me if I wanted to continue talking but he said I "deeply offended him and hurt him beyond belief". All I said was that I needed him to calm down 
And regroup so we could both see things more clearly. He started texting me saying that he's so happy he isn't spiteful and judgmental like me ...since I said he lied. He said saying that was below the belt. 

Then he left me 2 -- 10 minute voucemails telling me that I am cruel and he's now glad he's seen this dark side to my heart. He went on and on that he deserved praise from me not critical because he told me that he would buy me the house I wanted and a full time nanny. Of course I blew all that off because we have only been talking for a month! We've been on 3 dates. I think this shows he is crazy in the head. 




UOTE=Catherine602;198695]How did he make his millions? Why does he have so much time to text you during the day? A millionaire is not usually idle during the day if his money comes from a business. He may be lying about the money too. 

I would think that a sane man would not talk about marriage in the first two weeks of a relationship. He is probably the type who runs white hot in the beginning of a relationship and burns out after a month or two. My advice, never get involved with a man who comes on too strong, hot and heavy. This type of person likes the excitement of the chase only and losses interest as soon as the prey is caught. You are lucky you found out about the age issues now and it caused you to doubt him before things got too far.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

It might be time to change your cell phone number.


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

Stalker....what a freak!


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

My grandmother used to say that people who paint the walls in bright colors have ugly marks to hide underneath. Sounds like this guy is a con-man. Lies about age and then a "millionaire", if he really is one. And if he is, I get a strange feeling that he had to do some pretty dishonest things to get that money.
Here's a weird theory, but I have seen it happen.
"Millionaire" marries a woman whom he has managed to convince he is legit. Less than a year later, FBI and IRS seizing everything in house and business, while he has just jetted off to Bolivia, leaving wife holding the bag. Guess who has to pay for the rest of her life for his activity? And yes, the IRS will come after YOU, the loving, trusting spouse. for it.


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## marriagesucks (Sep 24, 2010)

i know its exciting to know you bagged a millionaire. But i think this guy uses his money as a carrot knowing that women want a good provider and good life. 

It is a red flag that he lied about his age. At 50 that is inexcusable because he should have enough confidence to be happy with who he is. The deal breaker was what he said when you confronted him. 

Feel lucky you are not emotionally invested yet. Once you are emotionally tangled he will turn your life into a roller coaster. Luckily you are not running after money and good life so bad that you will accept this behavior.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

Don't have anything else to do or say to this guy. Delete any profiles he has access to and change your phone number. Goodness knows I hope you never told him your address. He is a whack job for sure, and he displayed all those tendencies from the beginning then got worse and worse. You fell for it all at first, and now you are still wondering if he is worth your time. You are also busy trying to defend yourself against all his nonsensical accusations. Everything from the beginning with his lying about his age, to his declarations of love waaayyyy too early in the relationship, to his becoming enraged and turning it around on you when caught in his a lie........all of that is typical of a master romeo. They target their victims, take them on whirlwind romances, lie to make themselves look better, promise the world, and out of the blue create all kinds stupid things to argue about, accuse their victim of, and belittle them in every verbally abusive way possible. By the time they reveal their true selves, their victim is in love, wondering what she did wrong and blaming herself for angering him, and feeling herself inadequate in desperate need of his love and approval. Don't let this be you.

Learn about your romeo so you know what to look out for next time, and you learn not to allow yourself to be caught up in any whirlwind romances.


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

Oh my this guy is nutty. I didn't even want to talk with him after his crazy display so I sent a reply text saying goodbye. I told him he should be apologizing to me and not the other way around. I told him his behavior reflected someone w relationship difficulties that I didn't want to be involved in. I said thanks for your time and good luck. 

He responded with these crazy long voicemails talking about how he just couldn't understand why I was so mean.. Cold hearted.. He went on to say "God blessed I told you I would buy you a house of your dreams.. Hire you a full time nanny etc and you call me a liar ... Before knowing all the facts". The fact was he LIED actually he lied twice.. Long story but i asked when his bday was and he said "soon" then he said he would tell me when it got closer ....turns out the DAY i asked.. WAS his birthday..... his excuse was that he had been disappointed so many times by his parents forgeting...that he doesnt like his bday .. And doesn't celebrate .. But he was AT his bday party when he was on the phone with me ... Telling me it was someone elses bday party!!!!!!! First lie ... 3 weeks in... And then...He sounded like Mel Gibson on the voicemail. Seriously crazy. He kept saying "wow". "I didn't know how dark your heart was". 

He is nuts. Thank God he never came to my home and doesn't know where I live. Ironically I saw that he replayed his profile.. And STILL lied about his age!!!

I actually found myself feeling very proud for not caring about his money. I never really felt "right" about him.. So I guess I never really fell for him completely. I got a funny feeling. Thank God!!! 
I just thought his asking me to quit my job (after marriage) And hire a full time nanny so he could have more time w me was creepy. I love my job and I didn't want to give up my life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Good for you, firsttimer. A man who lies about his age isn't looking for a good, solid relationship, he's looking to pick up babes. And he didn't like the fact that you didn't fall for it-now he has to start the BS process all over again on some other woman that he can take advantage of, and who is too naive to ask questions. And the fact that he put his profile out again proves it.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Im curious FT, how old you are? Not that it matters. This guy tried the classic "flip the script" and tried to make you feel guilty over nailing him over his lie about his age. He was hoping you would have fallen over yourself in apalogies, thus giving him the advantage early on in his relationship. Instead, it has backfired and only made him look pathetic. The fact that he's 50, a millionaire, but has never had a family should tell you that's he's got some type of issues going on. More than likely he played the field for many years, enjoyed the good life, woke up one day and realized he has nothing to show for all his millions, ie legacy. So that's why the rush for having a child so quickly. You dodged a bullet here this time gal... be thankful.


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

I'm 34. He made it a point to tell me all the "other" women he's dated have been much younger than me... And they didn't have a problem with his age. Of course... They probably didn't have a brain or a career (successful)... They were probably just after his money. 


UOTE=Rob774;199676]Im curious FT, how old you are? Not that it matters. This guy tried the classic "flip the script" and tried to make you feel guilty over nailing him over his lie about his age. He was hoping you would have fallen over yourself in apalogies, thus giving him the advantage early on in his relationship. Instead, it has backfired and only made him look pathetic. The fact that he's 50, a millionaire, but has never had a family should tell you that's he's got some type of issues going on. More than likely he played the field for many years, enjoyed the good life, woke up one day and realized he has nothing to show for all his millions, ie legacy. So that's why the rush for having a child so quickly. You dodged a bullet here this time gal... be thankful.[/QUOTE]



UOTE=Rob774;199676]Im curious FT, how old you are? Not that it matters. This guy tried the classic "flip the script" and tried to make you feel guilty over nailing him over his lie about his age. He was hoping you would have fallen over yourself in apalogies, thus giving him the advantage early on in his relationship. Instead, it has backfired and only made him look pathetic. The fact that he's 50, a millionaire, but has never had a family should tell you that's he's got some type of issues going on. More than likely he played the field for many years, enjoyed the good life, woke up one day and realized he has nothing to show for all his millions, ie legacy. So that's why the rush for having a child so quickly. You dodged a bullet here this time gal... be thankful.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

firsttimer25 said:


> I'm 34. He made it a point to tell me all the "other" women he's dated have been much younger than me... And they didn't have a problem with his age. Of course... They probably didn't have a brain or a career (successful)... They were probably just after his money.
> 
> 16 years difference is not alot of years, but you usually don't see that type of difference unless you are in Hollywood. He should of given himself a fair chance and given his real age. Sadly for him, his biological clock is all but gone, not saying he can't concieve, but 50 year old sperm ain't 20 year old sperm, and at this rate, he may not see his kid graduate. You've still got plenty of good years left, my wife whose 34 just had our son. Good luck, just require a birth certifigate one your next first day when you meet someone online, so you can avoid future confusion.
> 
> Btw, hope that creepo won't play games on your phone now.


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

Well I was patting myself on the back for being strong etc... But I have started to think about him . He didn't bother me again after I texted "please leave me alone". Last night I got a text from him saying that he was thinking of me and missed me and continues to want the best for me and my son (whom he never met). I didn't respond mainly because I know better... And I realize his text should have been an apology. But I'm still sad about it. 

Should I avoid responding? He really is nutty, right? It's not just my sensitivity right?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

He's as nutty as nutty can be. Attention from a nut job will lead to future misery. You got off easy on this one, don't tempt fate.


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## Tufluv (Oct 27, 2010)

Your original post was so much like a situation that I was in that I had to comment. Hopefully you can benefit from my experience. Hindsight 20/20 I would have walked away. I was 36, thought I was dating a 42 yr old. 6 years difference was ok to me because he had all of the qualities I was looking for so I overlooked the age difference. 6 months into the relationship, I found out he lied and was really 50! and same as your experience, he tried to backtread and said it was miscommunication. No, it was not, because like you, I could recall when he told me his incorrect age. I stayed with him for a year. (this man was also never married, etc. got serious quickly) I wish I would not have. I found out a year later that he had been cheating on me the ENTIRE time with an old girlfriend. He lied more than told the truth but was smart enough to always cover it up or make it look like I was ovverreacting. Hindsight 20/20-If a man that old has never settled down and lies right off the bat-RUN-there's a reason why he is alone.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

firsttimer25 said:


> Well I was patting myself on the back for being strong etc... But I have started to think about him . He didn't bother me again after I texted "please leave me alone". Last night I got a text from him saying that he was thinking of me and missed me and continues to want the best for me and my son (whom he never met). I didn't respond mainly because I know better... And I realize his text should have been an apology. But I'm still sad about it.
> 
> Should I avoid responding? He really is nutty, right? It's not just my sensitivity right?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He is being nice but he won't be able to keep it up, so close your heart and don't let him wheedle his way back in. He'll go back into wing nut mode in no time. 

Think about it, he is so desperate for a family that he will rush you into marriage and a child. He may actually keep up the fantasy of Mr. Nice guy until you are trapped by his money and the need to care for the child. Then he will begin to bully you again. Do you want a life like that? 

The man he presented himself to be does not exist, but that's the man you could have fallen in love with. 

You said you felt relieved not to have become more involved with him so don't back slide!!


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## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

All these messages remind me of what I did. I lied in my online profile (I don't know why?). I am 43 but said am 42. I am separated but put as divorced in my profile. I have two kids but said have only one kid in the profile. I thought by the time I get a friend (online), I would finalize my divorce (but still am separated not divorced)! I am really sorry but don't know how to fix it now.
Unfortunately, one month after I joined the online dating site, I got in touch with a fine lady. we are having a lot of conversation and it is progressing well. I have not disclosed my lies yet. I plan to tell the truth but am too embarrased. But will do it before we meet in person (appologising) in a months time. 
I am in a mess that I created. I didn't expect online dating could progress so fast (this is my first time to post my profile).
Please advise how I should overcome this??


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Asmarino said:


> All these messages remind me of what I did. I lied in my online profile (I don't know why?). I am 43 but said am 42. I am separated but put as divorced in my profile. I have two kids but said have only one kid in the profile. I thought by the time I get a friend (online), I would finalize my divorce (but still am separated not divorced)! I am really sorry but don't know how to fix it now.
> Unfortunately, one month after I joined the online dating site, I got in touch with a fine lady. we are having a lot of conversation and it is progressing well. I have not disclosed my lies yet. I plan to tell the truth but am too embarrased. But will do it before we meet in person (appologising) in a months time.
> I am in a mess that I created. I didn't expect online dating could progress so fast (this is my first time to post my profile).
> Please advise how I should overcome this??


Tell her what you wrote here, you sound sincere and then see what happens. Do you lie habitually? If so, you have to ask yourself why. Just think there is nothing wrong with the real you. if you lie about yourself no one gets to see the real you and you never get to see how normal and lovable you are.


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

This guy has sent me 4 texts and left me 5 voicemails tonight going on and on about how much he misses me and now says he is sorry. He says that I am making an enormous mistake and he's hurting inside. He says family issues have led him to have issues surrounding his bday... And he's sorry for not telling me. 

Should I call him and tell him to stop? I am now just feeling sad. Now he seems so kind . But he's trying to work his magic of course. Same guy who called me cold hearted 4 days ago... 

I texted him and said thanks for messages but too much damage has been done. ... Good luck. He hasn't stopped. In fact I just got another v/m as I was texting this post. Ugh! 

QUOTE=Catherine602;200486]Tell her what you wrote here, you sound sincere and then see what happens. Do you lie habitually? If so, you have to ask yourself why. Just think there is nothing wrong with the real you. if you lie about yourself no one gets to see the real you and you never get to see how normal and lovable you are.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

Change your cell phone. He's stalker crazy. The more you respond, the more you fuel this.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Firsttimer25 look up some definitions of narcissist, narcissism and NPD, see if there’s a fit.

Bob


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## Greentea (Aug 28, 2010)

Seems he has realized that he was wrong and he apologized to you. You can give him a chance to fix it, but don't rush into marriage quickly, just see him and meanwhile watch out if he really changes, if he stops lying. maybe you guys turn out to be a well matched couple, since you have some felling for him.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I disagree, GT. He is putting the burden on her by saying SHE is the one making the mistake. Now this guy just doesn't sound nutty-he sounds downright dangerous! FT, any way you could get a restraining order against him? I get a sick feeling that if you let him back in, he will do some damage, and not just to your ego. Remember, you have a son to think about.


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## sarah sutton (Oct 28, 2010)

I have to say that you sound like you have had a lucky escape here. All the warning signs are there, lying, manipulation and the like. Move on and congratulate yourself. You are worth better than this man.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I am with the other this guy is crazy people. The less interaction you have with him, the sooner he will go away. If you can block him, do so!


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

FirstTime, i will be as plainly simple in this as i can be. Do not respond back to him anymore! U don't need to tell him to stop, just block his number. Who cares what his family issues were at this point, they are all irrelevant! He's trying to work his magic to get back into your life, but he's so bad at it he's giving you all the red flags you need to run away. 20 year olds change, not 50 year olds. To not even know you, he's said a lot of mean, hateful things.

To start so strong, only to cave into this guy...


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

AFEH said:


> Firsttimer25 look up some definitions of narcissist, narcissism and NPD, see if there’s a fit.
> 
> Bob


I agree with Bob. Block his number or change your own. When someone lies, and then tries to make it your fault for being offended, it is a big red flag. He's being persistent because he sensed a weakness in you.

My wife hates it when I try to break everything down to a formula of sorts, but think about basic social standards, and break it down logically: Most people in his situation, if they made such a dramatic misrepresentation on their profile, and if they were a normal, compassionate person, would apologize profusely and accept it if you chose to end it. Especially after only three dates. It would not be normal to pass this off as you being the bad guy.

And it is not normal to be considering marriage, nannys, etc after three dates. Its not normal to be 50 and a millionaire, and unmarried.

Too many 'not normal' things going on here. Given the assumption that you are normal, then its only logical that he's a fruitcake.

I'm being silly, but you have to seperate yourself from your emotions when your future hapiness is at stake.


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## firsttimer25 (Oct 14, 2010)

Thank you so much! I have not responded. I've just ignored him and the texts and voicemails have stopped. His last text was a mile long and it was just this rant about how he's sorry I hurt him ... But he wants me to know he is sorry too. But he said it was unfair to say he "lied"... Because I simply didn't have all the facts to understand it was a miscommunication. He says he just wants me to know what I would be missing... If I chose to leave his "million dollar heart". 

Yes I agree ... The guy is nuts. I'm really glad I've had the advice on this board all of you have helped me stay strong. And yes... He truly seems to have all the characteristics of narcissism. No matter how much money he may have... He would be a full time job!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

firsttimer25 said:


> Thank you so much! I have not responded. I've just ignored him and the texts and voicemails have stopped. His last text was a mile long and it was just this rant about how he's sorry I hurt him ... But he wants me to know he is sorry too. But he said it was unfair to say he "lied"... Because I simply didn't have all the facts to understand it was a miscommunication. He says he just wants me to know what I would be missing... If I chose to leave his "million dollar heart".
> 
> Yes I agree ... The guy is nuts. I'm really glad I've had the advice on this board all of you have helped me stay strong. And yes... He truly seems to have all the characteristics of narcissism. No matter how much money he may have... He would be a full time job!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Narcissism/Narcissistic ……

The absolute best way out of this is NO CONTACT.

BLOCK his numbers on your phones. Block his email address. If you’ve a contact on Facebook and other places block them all.

DELETE all the contact information you have, emails addresses, phone numbers. Do not contact him for whatever reason.

If you somehow have an “interest” in this stuff and you can’t “let go” there are many personal and tragic stories of women involved with narcissistic men. If you feel that way then let me know and I’ll forward you a link.

Bob


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

mis·com·mu·ni·ca·tion: failure to communicate clearly 

lie: to make an untrue statement with intent *to deceive *

I wish i could have his cell so i could text him the defination. Miscommunication if my name was spelled Robb, but you sent a letter to my home and you spelled it Rob, and i failed to let you ever know the correct spelling. Lying is... we got on a date, and you greet me as Rob, and i say, "In actuality hun, my real name is Jeffrey, now let's go half on a baby!" 

If he hasn't "gotten it" by now, he never will.


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