# Do I have to go to court?



## darklilly23 (May 26, 2013)

Do you guys know if I have to show up to court if the divorce is uncontested?
My husband is the petitioner 

is it differnt for differnt states?

Not looking for legal advice, just thoughts on the matter.

Thank you
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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*If you're served and are subsequently ordered to appear in court, then it basically means that either you must attend, or your attorney must attend as your representative; or both.

But if for some reason that you cannot afford legal counsel, then you must attend and petition the presiding judge to appoint one for you or petition the court to allow you to represent yourself pro se!*


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

mine we both went to my lawyer and signed papers and boom like 3 weeks later divorced, no court no nothing (including child support woot woot)


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As far as I know, no, you don't have to go to court. But then everything he's put in his petition will be accepted. 

People get divorced regularly from spouses that don't show up in court. Some people think that if they don't go, they can stop the divorce. Doesn't work that way. It MIGHT delay things, but it won't stop it.

If there's a local " Family Court", you could call them and ask what the impact will be. I've heard the clerks are usually familiar with dealing with law novices, instead of lawyers.

C


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

It's better if you do because if anything deviates from the law that you're not there to be informed about, and that could benefit you, you've waived your rights. Yah, there could be last minute changes made you don't know about...lawyers are supposed to be fair, but sometimes this means being fair to their client, and staying within legal. 

Personally, I think it makes good sense to always present oneself in person whenever possible when it comes to legal matters. If you can go, you should go. 

I really wanted to not have to go to court when my now exH was there too, but it's fine, nobody misbehaves when the lawyers and mediators/judge are there. Of course, he said something nasty and underhanded afterwards, but that only quickly negated any second thoughts I might have had about what I'd just done. lol.


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## darklilly23 (May 26, 2013)

Humm the funny thing is that I had to go down there and resubmit the papers that he had not filled out.
So I got to see everything then I gave the papers back to the clerk and she filed them for me.

Stbxh had skipped town with his girlfriend and has to fly back to go to court.

He said "I payed for it and I went down there like twice, can't you just take care if it?"
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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Gods honest truth. When my second wife and I divorced, I found out that after we were separated she was cheating on me while living under the same roof.

I confronted her about it but enough time passed that I wasn't mad but wanted my pint of blood. 

I asked her if she still wanted the divorce. She said yes. I said then I have no problem with it and it will be uncontested. She said fine. I said, you want it you pay for it. You want to have an affair then fine. You danced to the music, now it's time to pay the piper. I also told her that I will never get married again and as far as I was concerned, I'll go to my grave with her as my wife.

She wasn't happy. She got the divorce. Looked in the paper for those cheapie divorces for $300.00. She got it.

I was standing by my mail box one day and the mail man came over and handed me a postcard and said, "I've seen some strange stuff delivered before but nothing like this. 

The post card was from some court house in a remote part of my home state and it said I was divorced and if I wanted the paperwork, all I had to do was send in 20 bucks and they would mail it to me. I still have the post card. It's kind of tattered and yellow now being 22 years old.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

darklilly23 said:


> Humm the funny thing is that I had to go down there and resubmit the papers that he had not filled out.
> So I got to see everything then I gave the papers back to the clerk and she filed them for me.
> 
> Stbxh had skipped town with his girlfriend and has to fly back to go to court.
> ...


Sounds like my STBXH, still expecting me to clean up his messes.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

In my state you don't have to appear but there has to be some documentation that the petitioner attempted to inform the respondent that the paperwork was being filed. Sounds like your husband is the petitioner so I'm not sure how the court will look at you showing up and not him.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Best to get advice from people in your own jurisdiction.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

I would go to court. The last think you want is someone at the last minute trying to pull fast one on you. I am glad to see your still around. I finished your thread the other day. I hope you are doing better. 

Clay


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Yep, inquire with the court about whether an initial status conference has been scheduled. Also check your paperwork and see if an affidavit of non-appearance was included in the filed documents.


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## darklilly23 (May 26, 2013)

littlejaz said:


> Sounds like my STBXH, still expecting me to clean up his messes.


Unbelievable huh?
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## darklilly23 (May 26, 2013)

I called the court office today and they said there was no reason that I needed to go in unless I just wanted to.

The lady knows me there at the office, she had to call my stbxh and ask why he was not in the same state if he was the one that wanted a divorce lol
Me and the lady at the court office had a good laugh 

And I was the last person to fill out and see the paperwork.
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## darklilly23 (May 26, 2013)

Clay2013 said:


> I would go to court. The last think you want is someone at the last minute trying to pull fast one on you. I am glad to see your still around. I finished your thread the other day. I hope you are doing better.
> 
> Clay


Hey thanks for reading my long thread, it is very long , lol..
I am mostly over the pain of the divorce, now if I can just get back on my feet and get to a more healthy living arrangement, I will be awesome!

Baby steps, one step at a time 
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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Ask him for power of attorney papers so you can take care of the divorce. Then do it however you like. lol.


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## darklilly23 (May 26, 2013)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Ask him for power of attorney papers so you can take care of the divorce. Then do it however you like. lol.


Lol, I wish I could get power of attorney over him, I would have him committed lol (double pun!)
He would thank me latter, rather than the mess that he made for himself ... Sigh...
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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Once you get this completed I would walk away and never talk to him again. He seriously does not even deserve another second of your time. You gave him so much and he just completely abused your love and your decency. 

I would keep on working on making your life better. The sad truth there are just people out there that are seriously messed up and we just don't see it until its too late. You can't save them. I know I tried. I failed in my relationship with my xW. 

Keep us posted on how your doing. 

Clay


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

As hard as it is and as unpleasant as it is your best off going to any and all hearings. Even if you have legal counsel to represent you. Many times a question will you will be there to answer. Judges do tend to be more lenient on some items when one shows up and one doesn't. 
Whether contested or uncontested, you have a great deal more legal leverage if you are present than not present


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