# Too much going on husband never home



## Justmeplusone

Hello! My husband is asking for a divorce because he constantly lies to me and I keep catching him. He can’t take the heat and manipulates me.


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## hubbyintrubby

What does he lie about? How do you catch him? How does he manipulate you?


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## marcy*

Justmeplusone said:


> Hello! My husband is asking for a divorce because he constantly lies to me and I keep catching him. He can’t take the heat and manipulates me.


Interesting that he is the one asking for divorce and not you. Give him what he wants if he lies and is never home. He is telling you he doesn’t want to be married to you. What about you?


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## Justmeplusone

I don’t want to be around the lies but I know the courts last time gave him visitation of my child. His actions and being irresponsible I can not trust him with my child. I’m scared he will get visits and something bad could happen.


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## DownByTheRiver

You need an attorney of your own. the courts aren't going to leave a child with someone they're in danger with if they know it.


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## Justmeplusone

hubbyintrubby said:


> What does he lie about? How do you catch him? How does he manipulate you?


He lies about going out and I catch him because this friend he goes out with always puts it on social media. It could be his face or his hand that I see on the picture or video. He manipulates me because he always finds ways to use other people as an excuse to go out or because the cars are under my name he talks me into being ok with him using one.


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## Justmeplusone

DownByTheRiver said:


> You need an attorney of your own. the courts are going to leave a child with someone they're in danger with if they know it.


Unfortunately the last time it was worse than the situation today and they still gave unsupervised visitation.


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## DownByTheRiver

What is the problem with him?


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## Justmeplusone

This year his company stopped paying him. He was suppose to be laid off in January due to covid. The company has still yet not paid him and all bills are under my name. I am responsible and I do not like late bills so I am always asking what is happening with his pay? He says I’m too much. He works 12-14 hour days and all I ask is for him to get dinner with us but it’s too much. I bother him at work by asking what’s going on with his pay and when he gets home he lays down and is asleep in no time. I don’t get it.


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## She'sStillGotIt

Justmeplusone said:


> Hello! My husband is asking for a divorce because he constantly lies to me and I keep catching him. He can’t take the heat and manipulates me.


Is there a *question *in here? Or are you just looking for a recommendation on what champagne to buy when the divorce comes through and it's time to celebrate?


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## Tdbo

Justmeplusone said:


> Hello! My husband is asking for a divorce because he constantly lies to me and I keep catching him. He can’t take the heat and manipulates me.


Sounds like you need to find a good attorney and help make his wish come true.


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## Justmeplusone

Update: I noticed this number I thought he had only called once was a girl and she works with him. Just to find out he’s been talking to her almost 2 months now. Do I sit here and let him keep using his phone under my name? This girl obviously knows we are together because everyone at work knows he’s married. He hasn’t gave me any money in 8 months. Maybe a hundred here and there. But not enough for a car payment.


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## TJW

Justmeplusone said:


> I am always asking what is happening with his pay? He says I’m too much.


Sorry, but if I was supposed to get laid off in January, I would not be working 12-14 hour days for 7 months for a company who is not paying me. I think your husband is a complete liar, and he has changed how he gets paid so it doesn't come to you, and stashing it in preparation for his exit.



Justmeplusone said:


> I know the courts last time gave him visitation of my child.


They will again, if he is the adoptive or natural father of your child. If he is not, and you can prove that, because of his irresponsibility and hiding money, they will likely not grant visitation this time.

If he is not the natural father, you will have a very hard time supporting a claim for child support, also.


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## TJW

Justmeplusone said:


> Do I sit here and let him keep using his phone under my name?


No. And, don't do anything else under your name for him, either. Don't feed him, don't wash his clothes, don't allow him to drive eiher of YOUR cars. Throw his a$$ the hell out of YOUR house. From now on, live by the "golden rule"..... he who has the gold, makes the rules...

Whoever don't pay, don't "own"....and don't get to use, either.



Justmeplusone said:


> This girl obviously knows we are together because everyone at work knows he’s married.


Cheater's handbook, chapter 1. The scum-suckers don't care if "he's married". They have no morality


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## MattMatt

Get rid of him. Stop feeding the leech with your blood.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

OP,

Save yourself and your child. Follow everyone's advice here, and see an attorney. 

Something is extremely rotten in Denmark and no outcome driven by H will be good for you.

He's way to self centered, disrespectful to you, and has exhibited all the signs of a User and will ride your sacrifices into the ground and then leave you high and dry.


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## Violet28

Why are you letting him manipulate you? If you know he's doing it, you are just as much of the negative pattern as he is.


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## oldshirt

Justmeplusone said:


> This year his company stopped paying him. He was suppose to be laid off in January due to covid. The company has still yet not paid him and all bills are under my name. I am responsible and I do not like late bills so I am always asking what is happening with his pay? He says I’m too much. He works 12-14 hour days and all I ask is for him to get dinner with us but it’s too much. I bother him at work by asking what’s going on with his pay and when he gets home he lays down and is asleep in no time. I don’t get it.


COVID was barely a news blip about China in January and the quarantines and shutdowns didn’t start until March.

But more importantly, there was this thing call the Emancipation Proclamation that President Lincoln signed along time ago that says people do not work without being paid.

If he is gone at work all day but supposedly not being paid, someone is pulling the wool over your eyes and feeding you some bovine excrement. 

He’s either away doing something he’s not supposed to and just saying he’s working, or he is hiding money. 

But people don’t work every day for 7 with no pay.


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## TJW

oldshirt said:


> He’s either away doing something he’s not supposed to and just saying he’s working, or he is hiding money.


His story about not being paid for 7 months just isn't plausible.


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## Oldtimer

Lawyer up and go after him, why should you be covering everything. He’s lying to you and probably in an affair.


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## MattMatt

There's some shady stuff, here. Lawyer up. And ask his HR for payslips, etc.


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## Justmeplusone

update: Found paystubs.
I live in CA and was wondering is there lawyers that will work out payment plans or go after him for the money he’s been hiding from me?


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## hubbyintrubby

Justmeplusone said:


> update: Found paystubs.
> I live in CA and was wondering is there lawyers that will work out payment plans or go after him for the money he’s been hiding from me?


I think most law firms will work something out with you regarding payment, as long as you don't stop paying. 

Also, once you have that lawyer, they'll be able to find a good forensic accountant that will be able to dig into his income, hidden assets, etc. and find what you need to get a fair shake.


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## Justmeplusone

Update restraining order approved, alimony and supervised visits.


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## MattMatt

How's it going, @Justmeplusone?


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## Justmeplusone

MattMatt said:


> How's it going, @Justmeplusone?


Eh it could be better. My daughter and I moved out and I took almost everything. I’ve been gone for about 4 months. I think I need to talk to someone. Things are getting rough.


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## MattMatt

Justmeplusone said:


> Eh it could be better. My daughter and I moved out and I took almost everything. I’ve been gone for about 4 months. I think I need to talk to someone. Things are getting rough.


We are always here for you.


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## Justmeplusone

MattMatt said:


> We are always here for you.


Thank you! Unfortunately I think it’s finally getting to me that things will never work and I don’t want my daughter suffering but the damage is done


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Remember, you are a confident person and have already shown you have the resiliency to keep moving forward with positive plans for your life.

You can do it!


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## Justmeplusone

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Remember, you are a confident person and have already shown you have the resiliency to keep moving forward with positive plans for your life.
> 
> You can do it!


Thank you!


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