# Does Divorce equal happiness?



## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

This is a very interesting study for those that are having issues. You might want to try and work things through.


Happiness of Those Who Divorce vs. Those Who Remain Married Thru Unhappy Times
Two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their marriages were happy 5 years later. The most unhappy marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds. Among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost 8 out of 10 who avoided divorce were happily married 5 years later.

Conversely, on average unhappily married adults who divorced, whether staying single or remarrying, were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married.

Commitment to their marriages was responsible for staying in their marriages and finding happiness five years later. 

Many currently happily married spouses have had extended periods of marital unhappiness, often for serious reasons such as alcoholism, infidelity, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, depression, illness, and work reversals.

Three out of four unhappily married adults are married to someone who is happy with the marriage.

From: Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages by Linda J. Waite, Don Browning, William J. Doherty, Maggie Gallagher, Ye Luo, and Scott M. Stanley, Institute for American Values.
IAV|Does Divorce Make People Happy?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

well im about the divorce and yes for me - it does equal happiness. no longer constrained by the boundaries of an unhappy marriage. i can be me again.


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

It's an interesting study and I'm sure it has merit to it. However, I'm certain that there are circumstances, where the couples shouldn't be married and one OR both will never be happy for any number of reasons.

I was married for 21 years and unhappy for the majority of those. I'm sure my wife could say the same. I also married her for mainly the wrong reasons.

I also realize that grass is not necessarily greener on the other side of the fence, but sometimes you have to free yourself and spouse from a bad, incompatible relationship.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

happiness is a subjective, not objective terms, so I don't put any credit into that study...


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## johnamos (May 8, 2009)

I agree with preso, too subjective.


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## Katy44 (May 9, 2009)

I have been feeling so sad for so many years, I think I want to be alone even though I'm scared to death at my age.


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## Katy44 (May 9, 2009)

Money is not my issue, it's family loss that scares me.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Hang in there, Katy...just hang on...it'll get better a little bit at a time, day by day.


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## Katy44 (May 9, 2009)

dcrim said:


> Hang in there, Katy...just hang on...it'll get better a little bit at a time, day by day.


Thank you. Big emotions right now. 

I just want relief for real. I drank to help me up until now. I'm not that and want a life again is what's happening.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I actually agree and am staying in my marriage. I had a very rough time marriagewise about 4 years ago. I am anticipating in another year, I will be saying I am happily married again. As miserable as I was, my husband will state that he is happily married the whole duration of our 10 year marriage. As much as I fantasized about a new and better husband, I knew I will still have similar problems with whomever I was partnered with. So it only made sense to stay with my kids' father and work things out.


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

sensitive:

if you will, what led you to the assumption that you'd have similar problems with another man and further respectfully if i may:

why settle for a perceived universality of marital difficulty.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

recent_cloud said:


> sensitive:
> 
> if you will, what led you to the assumption that you'd have similar problems with another man and further respectfully if i may:
> 
> why settle for a perceived universality of marital difficulty.



No, I don't think I will have similar problems if I choose to remarry. I will have different ones. Any relationship will have conflict. I don't want marital difficulty, and I am settling in a way. I mean I will not be changing my personality if I get a divorce or choose to date or remarry. My marriage is based on years of growth and adjustments. I admit some may have been avoided if my husband was a different person, but overall I can't find a more tolerant and calm individual. I don't know, maybe I am defending myself to the wrong audience.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Katy44 said:


> Thank you. Big emotions right now.
> 
> I just want relief for real. I drank to help me up until now. I'm not that and want a life again is what's happening.


I drank, too...I went on a 3 day spree...missed work and a business trip. Just hold on, girl. **hugs** to you. If we were closer, I'd give you a hug up close! Hold on to life...that's what I'm doing.


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## Frgvn (Mar 15, 2009)

No


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

drinking wont solve your unhappiness. i think your kidding yourself, if you think it can get better.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

interesting question
i know that i'll be unhappy once i'm divorced. i'm 1 of those people that took my vows beyond seriously. i would never have married him if i wasn't 100% sure that i would love him forever. so now i'll go on miserably. he'll be happy for a while, but then he'll regret his decision, then it'll be too late, and we'll both be miserable.


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## Tr000thSeeker (May 11, 2009)

So are there only 2 choices assuming there is conflict in a marriage?
1) Stay married.
2) Get a divorce.
Isn't there a 3rd choice:
3) Resolve the conflict.
I know someone personally who seems to present only the first two choices in any discussion about conflicts in marriage.
It simply amazes me how the human mind excels at resolving conflicts when it comes to making money, but fails too many times to make at the very least a sincere attempt at trying to understand the option to *resolve the conflict* in a marriage!


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

the 3rd choice isn't easy. people in general only like to do things the easy way


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