# Not Happy



## smokey1223 (Dec 23, 2012)

I have only been married for five years but I can see, through my marriage, how two people become isolated. I'm not happy with my marriage but not financially able to just leave. I lost my job two years ago and have had to string together a part-time job and other contract work. 

When we first met, we tried to do different things and since we were married, that has wanted. Some of it has to do with my husband's son who is an alcoholic with other issues ( personally think he has a mental illness). My husband enables him and is consumed with his son's problems. He will not let his son hit rock bottom. His son keeps going through jobs and will not get psychological help.

Also, my husband doesn't know what I mean by creating a financial life together (financial planning) and I cannot even think about acting like a married couple in that regard. I tried to bring up the subject and my husband didn't know what I meant and didn't want to discuss it. 

My husband has put up many walls and I'm very, very unhappy. He's a loving person in many ways but quite clueless in others and I don't see us having a productive relationship. I know that I could heal once I got out of the marriage but it has been a long road to finding employment. 

I'm tempted to bow out of Christmas dinner with his family. Now that my mother is gone (both parents gone) everything is done the way he wants it to be done and I feel that I have lost my own way.


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## A++ (May 21, 2012)

smokey1223 said:


> I know that I could heal once I got out of the marriage but it has been a long road to finding employment.


Seriously, if you want to leave so bad just DO IT NOW, in the end you will be doing yourself and your husband a favor. He should have the opportunity to find someone who is not just partly interested in being with him. 

Why would you keep dragging on a marriage and giving the poor guy false hopes?

The sooner you do it the better.


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## LiamN (Nov 5, 2012)

Have the courage to leave. Your life will be so much happier. Think about the fears that are stopping you and you will realize that you can overcome them. Be true to yourself.


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## stilllookingup (Oct 29, 2012)

I can't say I'm a fan of advices that just say "leave if you are unhappy." I don't know you so I don't know if leaving this marriage makes you happier. I just don't. 

But I agree with the first poster on some level. You might be thinking the situation you are in isn't fair but what you are doing (not having courage to tell him your true feelings and your plans of leaving) is pretty unfair to him too.

I'm also not a fan of just "bow out" 
Apparently I'm not you and I don't know the exact situation you are in but I'd at least try to have a serious talk with your husband before just bowing out


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