# Help



## LADY72 (Feb 16, 2009)

Where do I begin??? My husband and I have been together for 8 yrs,married 4 and a half. When I met him he really didn't have much family and was basically a loner. He was raised by his paternal grandmother and he had never met his mother. All he knew about his mother's side of the family was that he had an older sister. Well to make a long story short, He's 35 now and 2 months ago his sister who he had never met found him on none other than Myspace. Not only did he have an older sister but he had a younger sister he never knew existed. Great story huh???? You would think this would be a blessing....but in reality it has turned into a complete nightmare!!!

I've been completely displaced. the older sister who is 37 is now filling my shoes. They do everything together. To the point I feel like the 3rd wheel. He would rather go out with her than with me. They text eachother all day, he gets out of work and goes to see her then he texts her all evening. He doesnt even let me see the phone.His affection towards her is outragous and he sees nothing wrong with it. Our marriage has become totally affected by it. I've even asked him to leave.

I need help. I dont know how to cope with this. This was a man who did everything with me for 8 yrs. Now he doesnt care what I do. When I tell him we should separate and maybe he should move in with her he refuses cuz he says I'm such a wonderful woman....I dont know what to do. I'm beginning to resent him so bad I don't even want him to come home. Please can someone help me?????


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Unless you are saying there is something inappropriate in his actions or feelings for his sister I think you may just need to accept their communication for now and let them “catch up”. The contact may be intense right now but with time will likely wane to a level that is acceptable for you. On the other hand, are there things in the marriage that he may feel is lacking? Is he getting some kind of emotional support from her that he isn’t getting from you? The flag I see here is the secrecy of his phone in all of this. The other flag I see is that you have quickly moved form what appeared to be a happy marriage to wanting separation and in your post you never mention love.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

LADY72-

Your fears might be well founded. Siblings who have never met often have an incredible sexual attraction to each other, perhaps due to the fact that they have so much in common biologically.

Normally the closeness of family and the fact that it is taboo keeps all of this under wraps.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Well, if he isn't letting you see the text messages that can be a bad sign.

My wife and I have an "open door" policy on each others cell and email accounts so there is no trust issues.

Its not that either of us snoop at all, its just that we know each other's passwords so that thought of "he/she could possibly see this" is always in our minds.

However, if you don't think anything "sexual" is there at all, and there's no chance of it, then Amp is right, they are trying to catch up after not knowing each other for decades, you'll have to give him time for that.

MT and Amp can both possibly be correct here. If there is any sexual attraction between the 2 then MT is 100% right, if there is no possible way that is going on, then Amp is right.


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