# Hating husband right now



## CMD1978 (Apr 9, 2016)

So my 12 year old son had to have an emergency appendectomy. Because my husband is only in minimum security prison he could have been with us. Both the kids were begging for their dad to be here. And he refused. Said he doesn't want the kids to see him the way he looks right now. I'm sorry but they needed him so badly they certainly didn't give a damn how he looks. 

I am so angry at him right now I actually feel like I hate him. I was trying to forgive the drugs and the illegal activities and all the **** he's put us through in the past year. I don't know if I can forgive his refusal to be with us when we needed him.

Once my son is back on my feet I'm going to be getting a lawyer. I guess right now though I need someone to tell me I'm not overreacting.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

You aren't overreacting. Really. I thought you were being too forgiving in the first place.

I hope your son's surgery went well and wish him a speedy recovery.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

You are not overreacting. Hubs sounds selfish and is apparently a real "hands off" dad.


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## CMD1978 (Apr 9, 2016)

Introvert - the sad thing is, he was a great dad until he got into drugs. Now it's like there's nothing left of the man I married.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

You're not overreacting. Drugs isn't really your husband's problem. It's just a symptom of a narcissistic personality. Sounds like that's what he is, and if he were a 'great dad,' he wouldn't be where he is right now. And he would have attended his son's surgery. Sorry you're going through this, praying for you all.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

I'm not privy to any of your previous threads, so I'm going off purely what is written here.

You've never been in prison, so I wouldn't be too quick to judge him for not wanting to be seen. If he was a great dad before the drugs, then try to pick him up. He's fallen down and could probably use your help.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

What an A-hole😡


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

CMD1978 said:


> So my 12 year old son had to have an emergency appendectomy. Because my husband is only in minimum security prison he could have been with us. Both the kids were begging for their dad to be here. And he refused. Said he doesn't want the kids to see him the way he looks right now. I'm sorry but they needed him so badly they certainly didn't give a damn how he looks.
> 
> I am so angry at him right now I actually feel like I hate him. I was trying to forgive the drugs and the illegal activities and all the **** he's put us through in the past year. I don't know if I can forgive his refusal to be with us when we needed him.
> 
> Once my son is back on my feet I'm going to be getting a lawyer. I guess right now though I need someone to tell me I'm not overreacting.


Your husband chose prison over being there for his wife and children when they really needed him because he is ashamed of "how he looks" right now.

You are not over-reacting.

I'm really sorry.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

He's in prison?

FWIW, he *might* have just gotten his ass beat... or worse.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

First of all, I hope your son is recovering well.

Second, I'm not qualified in any way, shape or form to be giving marital advice, but....

In my opinion, your H is being selfish. An emergency situation with your child should take priority over anything else. 

Taking into account that this is very fresh, and your anger/worry for your son is probably ruling your thought process right now, I would give it a few weeks and really think about your H and your M and whether you want to continue the relationship. I understand where MJJEAN, introvert, deidre and bibi are coming from, but I also understand where BioFury is coming from too.

Regardless, you need to look at the best course of action for you and your children. What you want you and your children to be exposed to in the future, the sort of example that he is setting for your children and whether your H is actually committed to making positive changes in his life.

Best of luck.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

CMD1978 said:


> So my 12 year old son had to have an emergency appendectomy. Because my husband is only in minimum security prison he could have been with us. Both the kids were begging for their dad to be here. And he refused. Said he doesn't want the kids to see him the way he looks right now. I'm sorry but they needed him so badly they certainly didn't give a damn how he looks.
> 
> I am so angry at him right now I actually feel like I hate him. I was trying to forgive the drugs and the illegal activities and all the **** he's put us through in the past year. I don't know if I can forgive his refusal to be with us when we needed him.
> 
> Once my son is back on my feet I'm going to be getting a lawyer. I guess right now though I need someone to tell me I'm not overreacting.


You are NOT over reacting. You should have divorced him already.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

CMD1978 said:


> I am so angry at him right now I actually feel like I hate him. I was trying to forgive the drugs and the illegal activities and all the **** he's put us through in the past year. I don't know if I can forgive his refusal to be with us when we needed him.
> 
> Once my son is back on my feet I'm going to be getting a lawyer. I guess right now though I need someone to tell me I'm not overreacting.


You should have divorced him before he even got to prison. Your main focus needs to be those children and making sure that they are not exposed to drugs and other illegal activities.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Definitely not overreacting, you were kind enough to overlook his indiscretions so the kids could see their father when they needed him and he was just worried about not looking so hot. Shows you the kind of guy he is.


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