# Need some insight



## matman (Aug 26, 2011)

I know that title is a little vague and I'm not even sure this is the right section to post this in. I am a musician and play gigs about twice a month. It's the only thing I do for myself, I also have a standing rehearsal with the band once a week for an hour and a half. Every week it's a battle to ask my wife to stay with our kids while I go do that. She says i am treating her like a "free babysitter" I usually approach it as "hey I have rehearsal tonight would you mind being with the kids while I go" I feel silly even mentioning that I have rehearsal every damn week because it's always been on the same night and it's been that way for at least 2 years. Every time its a fight. Now with the gigs she usually waits till the morning of and if she's even a little upset with me about anything, she refuses to watch the kids, says I have to hire someone (we dont know anyone and can't afford anyone to watch the kids) and says i can't call her family who is right across the street. That forces me to call my parents who are pretty old and not used to watching kids and she says she's not ok with that. I just don't get it. What more can i do??


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

I know what you mean. My wife is cool with the band thing. Thats how we met. I've noticed over the years that just about everyones girlfreind or wife has tried playing that card. Its like a control thing or something. Not only is she holding you up, but the entire band as well. Did she know you was a musician when you met?


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Free babysitter? Aren't they her kids???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## matman (Aug 26, 2011)

Yes, but she says if I'm not going to treat her like my wife, then she's essentially a babysitter.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Hmmm - Have you sat her down any time other than the day of your rehearsals to find out why this is such a struggle week in and week out, even after 2 years? This does sound like a control measure. 

Also, does she have any hobbies?


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## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

Hello 
So you have a hobbit, and your girlfriend doesn't seem to accept it. I don't think so it's only about staying with the kids.
Does she has a hobbit? Sometime, a partner will be jealous or upset that the other partner has a hobbit but not him/her...
One time a week it's nothing. Some friend time and alone time are important in a relationship so 1 time a week it's not a lot.


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