# Should I tell my stbxw that that I know about her infidelity?



## hamati (Dec 6, 2011)

I've posted before that my wife kicked me out one day seemingly out of the blue arguing I had a secret vasectomy and I wasn't willing to give her children. We've been separated for 6 weeks now and she has filed for divorce.

A month after she kicked me out I found through a mutual friend that she's dating another man and is very excited. This is posted on her FB wall. I still have not been served divorce papers.

Should I tell her I know about the OM and that she better no get pregnant until the divorce is final?. Or would this just give her the satisfaction of hurting me more?.

We had no children and the deed of the house is in her name. Or should I let my lawyer handle it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

She better not get pregnant til the divorce?

Seriously? No, don't say that to her. Do tell her though, you know she's having an affair.

If she wants out, let her go. You have no kids, make a quick clean surgical cut. Goodbye. 

GET A LAWYER


----------



## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

If you don't have kids its just like breaking up with legal papers
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Did you get a vasectomy? It's a strange thing to accuss someone of.

It sounds like your wife wants to have a baby and will do whatever it takes to get pregnant. If your wife gets pregnant while you are married, by law it's your baby and you will have to pay child support.

Go see an attorney NOW. Once the divorce papers are filed and it's clear that you are legally separated it would be hard for her to hit you up for child support should she get pregnant.

See an attorney and protect yourself.


----------



## hamati (Dec 6, 2011)

I did not get a vasectomy, I guess it comes from her obsession of getting pregnant at any cost.

She already filed, its been 6 weeks since we separated. I know she is seeing someone else. 

I'm afraid she will get pregnant before I get served and I maybe stuck proving that the child is not mine.


----------



## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Maybe you ought to file your own papers then, so she is served. Counterfile.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Get a lawyer, and prodect your self. I suggest you keep your game plan and what you now know to your self and the lawyer.

Never reveal your game plan, it will only give her time to come up with a counter plan. leave her in the dark until you and your lawyer have all your ducks in a row and you arecompletely protected. Then drop the bomb, leaving her to scrample and *try* to come up with a defence, by whitch it will be to late for her.

Telling her any thing now, will only lead to complicating your efforts to come out ahead of all her crap.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

hamati said:


> I did not get a vasectomy, I guess it comes from her obsession of getting pregnant at any cost.
> 
> *She already filed, its been 6 weeks since we separated. I know she is seeing someone else.
> *
> I'm afraid she will get pregnant before I get served and I maybe stuck proving that the child is not mine.


If she has filed, you do not need to wait to get served. Have your lawyer get the file (from the court registry?) and respond to her divorce action.

Let your lawyer know she's trying to get pregnant.

I agree with "the guy". Dont let your wife know what you have. Dont tell them anything unless required legally. Dont show your hand.


----------



## hamati (Dec 6, 2011)

Why would she post about going with the OM on her FB wall?. While she defriended me on FB we have mutual friends that have access to her wall.

The most significant post goes like this:

Stbx: I'm going out tonight! I'm so excited!
Friend of stbx: Great! With whom?
Stbx: With a hottie!
Friend of stbx: That's the spirit!
OM: Where should I take you tonight, my love?
OM: I'm warning you! We're partying until the sun comes up!
Stbx: Suprise me!

This message was posted exactly a month after she kicked me out. Why does she need to tell the world about this?. Although she has filed for divorce, we are still legally married. Why would she do such a thing?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WhyinSC (Dec 16, 2011)

Like my situation I just think God is telling us to move on to someone better for us...

I hate it just as much as you but in the end it will be for the best.


----------



## hamati (Dec 6, 2011)

The right thing is moving on. But it worries me that her anger makes her do such things. Why on earth would she make this public knowing she is still married?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

hamati said:


> The right thing is moving on. But it worries me that her anger makes her do such things. Why on earth would she make this public knowing she is still married?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Well, she's filed. Yes?

So, in her mind she's no longer married. You can continue the divorce process by responding to her filing without being served.

Why dont you do that? Or, do you still want to stayed married to her?


----------



## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Did you get a vasectomy? It's a strange thing to accuss someone of.
> 
> It sounds like your wife wants to have a baby and will do whatever it takes to get pregnant. If your wife gets pregnant while you are married, by law it's your baby and you will have to pay child support.
> 
> .


can someone explain the logic in this??? Its not your kid why on earth would you pay support not only are you cheated on but you have to pay support for the OM's kid???
Wth?? If ever a law needed repeal its this beyond stupid one
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hamati (Dec 6, 2011)

The logic is definitely skewed. She is even posting on FB what can be constituted as adultery while she is still legally married. I find it hard to belive she's so stupid, or she did knowingly that I was going to find out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

hamati said:


> The logic is definitely skewed. She is even posting on FB what can be constituted as adultery while she is still legally married. I find it hard to belive she's so stupid, or she did knowingly that I was going to find out.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Screen capture that FB page. Keep the evidence.


----------



## JazzTango2Step (Apr 4, 2011)

Screen cap everything. She is doing it knowing that you are able to see, which is her own mistake. She's doing it to show people she has moved on, and to possibly make you miserable and jealous. In opening her big mouth, she leaves herself up to be scr*wed in court.

Screen cap it all, and if there are pictures up of her and this OM, print those pictures out with the dates on them. Use her ego against her in court, get the hell out of there, and move on to another woman who will love you better.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

JazzTango2Step said:


> Screen cap everything. She is doing it knowing that you are able to see, which is her own mistake. She's doing it to show people she has moved on, and to possibly make you miserable and jealous. In opening her big mouth, she leaves herself up to be scr*wed in court.
> 
> Screen cap it all, and if there are pictures up of her and this OM, print those pictures out with the dates on them. Use her ego against her in court, get the hell out of there, and move on to another woman who will love you better.


This is better advice than mine. screen capture everything.


----------



## hamati (Dec 6, 2011)

I'm miserable and jealous, knowing about the OM was a hard hit. I know who he is, we went to his wedding. He is a highschool friend of my STBXW, probably separated or divorced by now.

I'm much better looking than he is, but knowing that she finds him hot is really doing a number on me. I knew for years she talked on the phone with her friend but didn't think much about. It makes me wonder for how long this was going on for before she kicked me out. This is why in her mind she is no longer married because she filed.

Here I am sleeping in my brother's couch feeling miserable while she's running around with the OM, probably sleeping with him in my bed, while I wait for the stupid papers to be served and get my part of the property back or she buys me out.

I went looking for a new apartment yesterday and didn't find anything I liked. I walked by my old house and saw everything was shut and dark, looks like she's not been home for some time. I cried on the way back to my brother's. I don't think I'd be able to live on my own yet. I miss being with her, I miss my house.

When will this feelings end?. I just want to die.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

