# Chatting Up A Married Women?



## braveheart2009

Question for the ladies, many men look to chat up good looking women to find out their all ready in a relationship or married she usually gives the hint quickly. The question is do you feel offended or appreciative that he tried? As a guy I would feel terrible approaching a married women, but as they say u cant win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.


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## Anon Pink

For me and most of my women friends, keep in mind we are 50, we LOVE it. Not sure how any man could miss the rings but whatever. Nothing wrong with pleasant conversations. Of course at our age it's a huge compliment and we're happy to take it.

When I was younger and it happened I did get a little defensive and I think it had more to do with having just left the single scene where men approach anything in a skirt. Or that was what it felt like at the time...

Ahhh... the good old days....


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## CantePe

For me, I am not appreciative. It only takes less than 5 seconds to look at the wedding band on my finger to figure it out. Even less than that in my body language on approach.

To me, not that hard to realize who is married and who is not by body language, then again I'm a people watcher and can see those subtleties in people whether they are hiding it or not.


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## StargateFan

Some men like me are body language deaf. Not that I chat up any women looking for anything. I am one that believes married men and women can be friends, just not the spill your heart out, call in the middle of the night type, text every day type. I have that at home.

Been a SAHD for ten years, except part time at Y. Have had several female friends I met at Y. Mostly just do play dates at the splash park or talk while on elliptical. Never hang out at each others houses, but if there was a reason to come over would not have a problem with it. 

Open book about it and would never put ahead of wife. Alcohol would not be appropriate without at least one spouse present. 

I never look for a ring, just assume a woman is in a relationship. Most of them were women I would not want to have sex with even if i were single. Just some common interests like kids, swimming, scouts etc.


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## 2ntnuf

Men don't miss seeing the rings. They know exactly what they are doing. They want to know they are still attractive as well. Some are seeing how far they can go with a married woman. Some are looking to "nail" a married woman. It can be a huge prize for some men that will always give them a smile when they see her husband. They will have a bond that even the husband and wife do not have. This allows them to feel powerful and important. 

Shutting down the flirtation as quickly as possible is the only proper way to handle this kind of thing. Shut it down quickly with firm conviction. Don't let your ego get in the way of your commitment to your marriage.


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## Mavash.

If the ring is on I'm NOT appreciative. Takes yes 5 seconds to see it and walk away. It's not okay to hit on married women. Ever.

If the ring isn't on then yes I'm appreciative because then you don't know and I'm flattered.


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## happysnappy

I'm not married but in an exclusive relationship. If I'm out without him I wear a band on my finger because yes, I get tired of getting hit on all the time. There is slim to no chance I'm interested in anyone in this town so I'd rather just hang out with my friends and not be bothered with flirting


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## ScarletBegonias

I look at getting hit on as a compliment and I appreciate the brave soul who musters up the courage to try and talk to me.I let them down gently but firmly.The only time I become an ice queen is when they're persistent.Then it goes from being a compliment to being a disrespectful nuisance. 

I wear a black diamond ring on my wedding band finger so no one knows exactly what my status is if they're body language blind.


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## stopandmakecoffee

braveheart2009 said:


> The question is do you feel offended or appreciative that he tried?


depends on how he does it. if he does it politely, subtle, and not illiterate [im blunt. i'd told him 'im married, sorry' instead of giving subtle 'signs']; i won't feel offended.

but if he does the opposite, i'd say something blunt as well, something like 'go away' in 'proper' manner for an impolite person.not offended, just


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## MaritimeGuy

To a predatory male a wedding ring is not an obstacle. In fact it's probably easier to pick up a neglected married woman than a content single one. If she's receptive she's probably looking for the same thing he is. A single woman on the other hand is probably going to put a whole lot more demands on him.


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## Sunshine1234

I have such a hard time with this. I want to be friendly with the guys I see everyday at the gym just like all the other women where I work out but when I do I can tell in a short amount of time they aren't looking for just a chat. I often wonder what do I do that I can't have innocent, friendly chatter like all the other ladies at the gym. So I just go on acting like ice queen most of the time. 

Any wisdom for me? Perhaps I am lacking the body language of a married person because I didn't even know there was body language!


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## JCD

Sunshine1234 said:


> I have such a hard time with this. I want to be friendly with the guys I see everyday at the gym just like all the other women where I work out but when I do I can tell in a short amount of time they aren't looking for just a chat. I often wonder what do I do that I can't have innocent, friendly chatter like all the other ladies at the gym. So I just go on acting like ice queen most of the time.
> 
> Any wisdom for me? Perhaps I am lacking the body language of a married person because I didn't even know there was body language!


There is a strong significant section of gyms which are looking for some strange.

There is another strong section who think they are Alpha males and 'deserve' to have....well everyone because they look so darned good.

What you need to understand about male sexuality (and I'm a man) is that even the most innocuous man given a green flag of 'interest' will push a little to see how far it goes. Not that most men cheat...but the flirting is a little boost of validation. They want to see if you WANT them if nothing else.

So don't take the chatting up too seriously, PARTICULARLY in a gym. But watch out for God's Gift to Steroids.


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## stopandmakecoffee

JCD said:


> But watch out for God's Gift to Steroids.


like ball shrinking ? 

and i agree, do not take gym talk seriously.


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## Vorlon

My wife and i are in the gym 5-6 days a week. Our gym (Life Time) has a lot of fitness minded people in it so its not a overly social. We both look good and often work out together but there are times when I'm in the gym and would just like to tell a women, hey you really look great. I can appreciate the hard work it takes to stay in shape as I'm in my 50s now. 

But I'm finding that many of the women have either the Ice Queen aura on with a dead pan face or are wearing head phones. I'm not looking for anything more than a friendly hi or hows the workout going but it is almost not worth speaking to anyone any more. The guys usually just give a quick head nod to people they see often. 

My wife finds that rarely does anyone speak to her in the gym. Occasionally another women in class of some sort but not out on the floor. I told her she has her shields up and that's why people rarely approach her. I think most of the men know she is my wife so they don't see the point. I think that is sad because she would appreciate a laugh and a joke. She can handle herself just fine with men and isn't intimidated by them at all. She doesn't wear headphones and she has a ready smile. Maybe people are just becoming anti-social.


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## Sunshine1234

JCD said:


> There is a strong significant section of gyms which are looking for some strange.
> 
> There is another strong section who think they are Alpha males and 'deserve' to have....well everyone because they look so darned good.
> 
> What you need to understand about male sexuality (and I'm a man) is that even the most innocuous man given a green flag of 'interest' will push a little to see how far it goes. Not that most men cheat...but the flirting is a little boost of validation. They want to see if you WANT them if nothing else.
> 
> So don't take the chatting up too seriously, PARTICULARLY in a gym. But watch out for God's Gift to Steroids.


Lol... I've dealt with my share of alphas at the gym. They are so confident but boy if you turn them down their egos are so fragile! They get that horribly hurt look in their eyes and disappear for a while. I try to avoid any eye contact with alphas now but I mean even the nice guys. I started smiling at this older guy who talks to everyone there more than he works out and before I knew it he was blowing kisses at me. Ew.

But overall to answer the OP question... even though I think it is wrong for a man to pursue a married woman, deep down inside I think wow I must look THAT good that he doesn't care. (((blush)))
Heck, we're women we put much effort into looking good we want to be desired!


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## Sunshine1234

Vorlon said:


> My wife and i are in the gym 5-6 days a week. Our gym (Life Time) has a lot of fitness minded people in it so its not a overly social. We both look good and often work out together but there are times when I'm in the gym and would just like to tell a women, hey you really look great. I can appreciate the hard work it takes to stay in shape as I'm in my 50s now.
> 
> But I'm finding that many of the women have either the Ice Queen aura on with a dead pan face or are wearing head phones. I'm not looking for anything more than a friendly hi or hows the workout going but it is almost not worth speaking to anyone any more. The guys usually just give a quick head nod to people they see often.
> 
> My wife finds that rarely does anyone speak to her in the gym. Occasionally another women in class of some sort but not out on the floor. I told her she has her shields up and that's why people rarely approach her. I think most of the men know she is my wife so they don't see the point. I think that is sad because she would appreciate a laugh and a joke. She can handle herself just fine with men and isn't intimidated by them at all. She doesn't wear headphones and she has a ready smile. Maybe people are just becoming anti-social.


Even though Im that ice queen with head phones I would love for you to tell me I look great. In a gentle, non-confrontational way. In fact some guy did sitting next to me in a machine and we talked a while but don't see him anymore. You're right though, people are becoming a little anti-social in this busy world.


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## NextTimeAround

I go to a gym in my neighborhood. Even when I was single avoided getting friendly with anyone especially the men there. I didn't want any weird relationships too close to my doorstep.

I don't worry about what I look like either.


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## COguy

It's hard to talk to girls in a gym.

It's just the situation.

A girl who just wants to work out, who probably wouldn't MIND talking to guys if they aren't d-bags, are going to be hit on to annoyance if they aren't ice queeny or wearing headphones.

I mean at this point you assume that if someone doesn't look like a b*tch or isn't wearing headphones that she is looking to get hit on by a ton of guys.

Most guys try to be respectful and if you put on the aura or you wear headphones, it's a sign that you don't want to be bothered. It's a bit like having a "no soliciting" sign on your door. Yeah some guys will still knock those, but most people will respect that you've stated your intentions and it would be particularly douchey to blatantly ignore that.


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## tom67

Only if I really need a spot would I approach someone man/women with headphones on.


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## coupdegrace

What if a Married woman chats you up?

I take public transportation and there is this very attractive woman that rides also. Initially, she didn't wear her wedding band, but she wears it now. Anyway, she usually rides in the train car behind me, but one day (when my wife wasn't with me) she walked over to where I was, smiled and said, "hello." We had a brief, pleasant conversation, but that was about it. The next few days, she went back to where she originally got on the train. I sporadically wear my wedding band because there are diamonds in it and I don't want to ruin it at work. Still, my wife is with me on most days.

I told a lady friend at work about what happened and asked what she thought about the situation. She said, "Women tend to do this kind of thing. She probably likes you and wants to get to know you." I said, "But she's married! That's not possible." She said that it doesn't matter.

Thereafter, she would say "Good morning" in passing for about a week, but that was about it. A few weeks later, she stopped speaking to me all together, which was just odd. She would look through me like I was invisible. All I did was be cordial and friendly. It wasn't like I was the one that initiated anything. Since this, I don't even look in her direction. When she's on one side, I face the opposite.


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## Racer

I chat it up with married women. Actually, I sort of look for it. Why? Because I too am married and they are “safer” to chat with. So, we’ll chat about kids or whatever while waiting in line or just sitting there at the bar while our kids are doing whatever, or kids trick or treating, or... I’m not hitting on them, but do admit it is nice chatting with a pretty woman who seems to enjoy the company too. I chat with the woman cutting my hair too... Shocking I know!

I like it a lot more than just standing there or playing on my phone.


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## Sunshine1234

coupdegrace said:


> What if a Married woman chats you up?
> 
> I take public transportation and there is this very attractive woman that rides also. Initially, she didn't wear her wedding band, but she wears it now. Anyway, she usually rides in the train car behind me, but one day (when my wife wasn't with me) she walked over to where I was, smiled and said, "hello." We had a brief, pleasant conversation, but that was about it. The next few days, she went back to where she originally got on the train. I sporadically wear my wedding band because there are diamonds in it and I don't want to ruin it at work. Still, my wife is with me on most days.
> 
> I told a lady friend at work about what happened and asked what she thought about the situation. She said, "Women tend to do this kind of thing. She probably likes you and wants to get to know you." I said, "But she's married! That's not possible." She said that it doesn't matter.
> 
> Thereafter, she would say "Good morning" in passing for about a week, but that was about it. A few weeks later, she stopped speaking to me all together, which was just odd. She would look through me like I was invisible. All I did was be cordial and friendly. It wasn't like I was the one that initiated anything. Since this, I don't even look in her direction. When she's on one side, I face the opposite.


I've had this conversation with girlfriends. They agreed with me that when you flirt (or even in your situation with a stranger) when another man finds you attractive it is a sexy boost and it carries over during the day and then into the bedroom with your hubby. Depending on her situation, she could have wanted more with you but it is possible she wanted just a boost. I would not take it personally that she doesn't look at you anymore. She is probably just in a different frame of mind than previously.


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## GTdad

Racer said:


> I chat it up with married women. Actually, I sort of look for it. Why? Because I too am married and they are “safer” to chat with. So, we’ll chat about kids or whatever while waiting in line or just sitting there at the bar while our kids are doing whatever, or kids trick or treating, or... I’m not hitting on them, but do admit it is nice chatting with a pretty woman who seems to enjoy the company too. I chat with the woman cutting my hair too... Shocking I know!
> 
> I like it a lot more than just standing there or playing on my phone.


The sort of thing I was planning on posting as I was reading through this thread. I'll strike up a conversation with anyone. I've met some very interesting people that way, male and female, married or not.


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## coupdegrace

Zanne said:


> She probably sensed that you were not comfortable talking with her and she is being respectful. But did you ever consider that because you were a married man, she felt safe talking to you? Especially since it was a public place. Not everyone is looking to hook up all the time.


On the contrary, I was completely comfortable talking to her. She seemed like a very nice person, and we already had something in common. It was my lady friend from work that suggested that she wanted something other than friendship. The only thing I can think of is she might not have felt comfortable speaking to me while my wife is there, which would be completely understandable. That still doesn't explain why she started ignoring me, like I did something to her. :scratchhead:



Sunshine1234 said:


> I've had this conversation with girlfriends. They agreed with me that when you flirt (or even in your situation with a stranger) when another man finds you attractive it is a sexy boost and it carries over during the day and then into the bedroom with your hubby. Depending on her situation, she could have wanted more with you but it is possible she wanted just a boost. I would not take it personally that she doesn't look at you anymore. She is probably just in a different frame of mind than previously.


Thing is, I never flirted with her, or even acted like I was interested. She was the one that initiated everything. I was just standing there, minding my own business and along comes this hottie to chat me up. Maybe she caught a glance here or there and that attracted her like a magnet. I dunno... Perhaps she could sense that I found her attractive and somehow empathically fed off that energy.


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## StargateFan

I have always been a city person but this sad state of affairs has me wish I lived in a small town where people are allowed to talk to each other. I mean its just nuts that you can't talk to the person standing next to you anywhere. It seems like it is rude to say Hi when you pass by someone on the sidewalk. 

Maybe I do not understand what "chatting up" means. To me it means having a conversation with someone. Oh no can't do that! Must bury my head in phone and text. Must stay within my own small world and never talk to people I don't know. Sad.


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## Racer

swetecynamome said:


> I know I sound alarmist and I'm sure "uncool," but affairs can start when people are comfortable. It starts in the heart first. Take care.


I'm well aware of it... wife is a SA. A rule I have; I do not ever exchange contact info... period. I do not bash the wife, marriage, or put out any vibe at how troubled mine really is. It is talk.

On the flip side... This is a touchy one and “uncool”. The old me ‘restrained’ from even talking to the opposite sex (plus it was uncomfortable as hell for me). That resulted in her sort of adopting a “without me he’ll die alone” “undesirable Racer” attitude. And me just sort of wondering if maybe she’s right in that I’m ugly, fat, boring, elitist, cold, etc... all those wonderful things she’s told me her and her friends think of me. 

My primary reason for chatting is to build my own self-esteem and generally meet new people. The side benefit; Her knowing and seeing that some pretty attractive women actually are interested in me doesn’t hurt. My wife now knows she’s a deliberate choice I make, not my only option. My appeal is “higher” this way as well as her effort to stay the sparkle in my eyes.


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## braveheart2009

Its just seems like a sin nowadays although ladies usually are quick to tell the guy there married or in a relationship which i appreciate so the guy can move on. The other day I seen a guy chat up a well figured/looking lady and she stood like a statue looking at him like a ghost. I think some women fear rape.


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## Deejo

braveheart2009 said:


> Question for the ladies, many men look to chat up good looking women to find out their all ready in a relationship or married she usually gives the hint quickly. The question is do you feel offended or appreciative that he tried? As a guy I would feel terrible approaching a married women, but as they say u cant win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.


Are you truly concerned about how any given woman that you engage feels, or are you taking a look at your own approach anxiety?

I used to purposely engage married women, with no goal other than 'chatting them up'. I was only looking for one of two outcomes, rejection ... because as you stated, you need to get used to it and not take it personally; and becoming skilled in the art of conversation.

I was most certainly not looking for an affair.

I learned a lot.


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## EnjoliWoman

When I was married, if you mean 'chatting' up as getting to verbally intimate in the hopes of it becoming more, I would say I was VERY offended that the man would think I was the type of woman to participate in such a thing. I felt insulted and viewed him with condescension.


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## unbelievable

Baking your own loaf of bread requires a lot more investment than trying to swipe a slice from a cut loaf. There's nothing complimentary or gratifying about a guy trying to pick up an obviously married woman.


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## elizabethdennis

braveheart2009 said:


> Question for the ladies, many men look to chat up good looking women to find out their all ready in a relationship or married she usually gives the hint quickly. The question is do you feel offended or appreciative that he tried? As a guy I would feel terrible approaching a married women, but as they say u cant win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.


If the ring is not on, then it may be flattering. But if there's a ring, then you should back off.


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## braveheart2009

Well, I am surprised at some of the stories about how unhappy married women are wouldn't it matter especially nowadays when people change their spouses like they change their pants?


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat

I am not sure if the OP is talking about "chatting up" with the intentions of "hooking up"... i mean what is so wrong with being friendly. I think intention comes to mind. I mean do we have to be so conserned that people misread things as advances? 

To be clear I am not a big fan of opposite sex friends. As innocent as it may be in many cases I think it can be a slippery slope. dont' want to sidetrack this thread... 

Since when as a society are we so unfriendly. I live in a NYC suburb. The people are VERY standoffish. Much worse than in the city itself. It is terrible. What is so wrong with conversing even if it involves member of the opposite sex? 

Do all conversations with the opposite sex have the connotations on hitting on someone. Can I not have a freidnly converstation with a women (even a pretty one) without being called out as someone looking to cheat? 

We should not let bad apple spoil the bunch. If one is suspecting an advance reference to ones spouse is sufficient to clear the air about inentions. IMHO


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## Entropy3000

One thing to consider is that Ladies if you give the slightest green to a guy it will take tens times the effort to put his little genie back in its bottle. 

This is why shutting it down immediately matters. Because once a guy gets any IOI he is good to go and will rush past the later attemtps to slow him down.

For those that take offense to guys trying ... I get it ... but realize especially these days a wedding ring no longer stops guys. Laws have changed. Culture has changed. Guys have less approach anxiety. Also we have lots of ladies on this forum who love the attention even though they are married and are willing to let the guys take their best shot. So just saying that the mating strategy for guys works. But I agree if they are "chatting up" / hitting on a married woman I would say that is sleazy to me but this is so much more accecptable these days.

I wonder if we have anyone on the forum brave emough to admit they take off thier wedding ring when they go out sometimes. Ooops. Another thread.


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## braveheart2009

So, why do married women dress very elegantly it just draws guys attention especially in the work place. I don't mind a smartly dressed women but nowadays they give off signals like they want to be approached and chatted up. Sometimes I think there up for a good time.


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## Entropy3000

lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> I am not sure if the OP is talking about "chatting up" with the intentions of "hooking up"... i mean what is so wrong with being friendly. I think intention comes to mind. I mean do we have to be so conserned that people misread things as advances?
> 
> *I see chatting up as more than just an exchange of friendly information human to human. Chatting up has sexual overtones. But chatting up can begin innocently enough. But then again if the guy starts with a line then this is chatting up. If a guy indicates in the market that he is looking for some good melons and smiles at you he is chatting you up.* *But I understand what you are saying. Being friendly to guys on the make is an IOI. An indicator of interest. Venue does matter but yes you can be chatted up anywhere. The intention of chatting up is to get to the next step. If the next step is the goal then that is chatting up. Since women tend to claim they can have many male freinds and that they do not think the friends see them in a sexual manner proves many woman are totally blind to this reality.*
> 
> To be clear I am not a big fan of opposite sex friends. As innocent as it may be in many cases I think it can be a slippery slope. dont' want to sidetrack this thread...
> 
> Since when as a society are we so unfriendly. I live in a NYC suburb. The people are VERY standoffish. Much worse than in the city itself. It is terrible. What is so wrong with conversing even if it involves member of the opposite sex?
> 
> Do all conversations with the opposite sex have the connotations on hitting on someone. Can I not have a freidnly converstation with a women (even a pretty one) without being called out as someone looking to cheat?
> 
> We should not let bad apple spoil the bunch. If one is suspecting an advance reference to ones spouse is sufficient to clear the air about inentions. IMHO


All this said, I am very open with people I do not know. I do not check to see if a woman is married.
I will be friendly. But I am a guy. So I can be this way. It is easier for me to escape.


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## NextTimeAround

braveheart2009 said:


> So, why do married women dress very elegantly it just draws guys attention especially in the work place. I don't mind a smartly dressed women but nowadays they give off signals like they want to be approached and chatted up. Sometimes I think there up for a good time.


surely you jest....... Do you want us to dress more dowdy so that our husbands have more motivation to chase after the hot young thing in his office?


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## Entropy3000

NextTimeAround said:


> surely you jest....... Do you want us to dress more dowdy so that our husbands have more motivation to chase after the hot young thing in his office?


Some women will go over the top with what they do not wear at work. I never complain about this personally. But if they choose to dress this way then they are going to get hit on more often.

Still other women will turn heads no matter what they wear. Not their fault.

The key in this is for a woman to be direct and assertive in shutting guys down. Some women do like the attention and bask in that a little too much for their own good but that is their choice. Guys need very little encouragement.

But I have been in meetings where the presenter was braless and wore an all too sheer white top or where a boob "pops" out suddenly. The cell phones tend to come out then. Makes going to work more interesting I suppose. 

My wife has always dressed a level more sexy when she is with me than not.

But to the extreme if a wife gets too comfortable and is always dressed in sweats for her husband, this does make the other women out there more interesting to observe. This is natural. It would add insult to injury if the only time a wife dresses nice and or sexy is when she is not with her husband.

But seriously if you are wearing clothing prone to nipple slips and you are married do not get upset that you are getting hit on. You are advertising.


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## tom67

Entropy3000 said:


> Some women will go over the top with what they do not wear at work. I never complain about this personally. But if they choose to dress this way then they are going to get hit on more often.
> 
> Still other women will turn heads no matter what they wear. Not their fault.
> 
> The key in this is for a woman to be direct and assertive in shutting guys down. Some woman do like the atention and bask in that a little too much for their own good but that is their choice. Guys need very little encouragement.
> 
> But I have been in meetings where the presenter was braless and wore an all too sheer white top or where a boob "pops" out suddenly. The cell phones tend to come out then. Makes going to work more interesting I suppose.
> 
> My wife has always dressed a level more sexy when she is with me than not.
> 
> But to the extreme if a wife gets too comfortable and is always dressed in sweats for her hsuband, this does make the other women out there more interesting to observe. This is natural. It wpuld add insult to injury if the only time a wife dresses nice and or sexy is when she is not with her husband.


Hmm, wardrobe malfunctionnow you got me sidetracked


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## Entropy3000

tom67 said:


> Hmm, wardrobe malfunctionnow you got me sidetracked


Just the messanger. Not saying it happens everyday. But the last one was last week. Not complaining. 

This is typically a very small minority of women. More often in sales or sales support. There are the male eqivalents of course. But they get called out more readily for unbuttoning their shirts than the ladies do. But would this happen if the majority of the audience were women? Idunno. 

ABC

Always Be Closing


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## tom67

Entropy3000 said:


> Just the messanger. Not saying it happens everyday. But the last one was last week. Not complaining.


We had a young woman attorney who wouldn't wear a bra and this loose fitting scant top. I mean you tried to loo away and not make it look obvious. I mentioned it to our office mgr. female she just shook her head. She was married too.


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## Entropy3000

tom67 said:


> We had a young woman attorney who wouldn't wear a bra and this loose fitting scant top. I mean you tried to loo away and not make it look obvious. I mentioned it to our office mgr. female she just shook her head. She was married too.


And this is the most common. You would think this would be more often a young single woman. 

Women will say some guys just stare at their boobs no matter what and they are true for many guys. Being an older married guy it is easier for me I think to deal with this. If a woman leans in and exposes herself I can pretty much maintain eye contact. I guess this is the equivalent for those women who say they get pissed off when guys hit on them knowing they are married while others enjoy the "compliment".

I guess I have reached a point of "really?". "You really think you are going to impress me by flashing your breasts at me?". This is not going to make me buy your product. But I will watch your presentation.

Ok thread jack over. This is a different thread. 

This turned into chatting up / sexing up a married man. Sorry.


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## JCD

lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> Since when as a society are we so unfriendly. I live in a NYC suburb. The people are VERY standoffish. Much worse than in the city itself. It is terrible. What is so wrong with conversing even if it involves member of the opposite sex?
> 
> Do all conversations with the opposite sex have the connotations on hitting on someone. Can I not have a freidnly converstation with a women (even a pretty one) without being called out as someone looking to cheat?


Well, I can only speak for myself, not knowing all men, but sex is ALWAYS in the back of my mind with a woman of suitable age and appearance.

Sometimes it's as simple as 'she's nice looking' to 'does she want me'. Because I (sometimes) have functioning boundaries, I won't do anything about it, but there is ALWAYS that bit of sexual tension, at least with me and I'm guessing with most men.

Now, I get that this will fill some of the women with the heebie geebies, but _awareness_ of your gender isn't the same as constantly being a predator.


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## Sunshine1234

Entropy3000 said:


> And this is the most common. You would think this would be more often a young single woman.
> 
> Women will say some guys just stare at their boobs no matter what and they are true for many guys. Being an older married guy it is easier for me I think to deal with this. If a woman leans in and exposes herself I can pretty much maintain eye contact. I guess this is the equivalent for those women who say they get pissed off when guys hit on them knowing they are married while others enjoy the "compliment".
> 
> I guess I have reached a point of "really?". "You really think you are going to impress me by flashing your breasts at me?". This is not going to make me buy your product. But I watch your presentation.
> 
> Ok thread jack over. This is a different thread.
> 
> This turned into chatting up / sexing up a married man. Sorry.


Noooo.... Keep going this is good stuff to know 

And tom, I'm appalled that a woman would go to work without a bra!


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## Sunshine1234

JCD said:


> Well, I can only speak for myself, not knowing all men, but sex is ALWAYS in the back of my mind with a woman of suitable age and appearance.
> 
> Sometimes it's as simple as 'she's nice looking' to 'does she want me'. Because I (sometimes) have functioning boundaries, I won't do anything about it, but there is ALWAYS that bit of sexual tension, at least with me and I'm guessing with most men.
> 
> Now, I get that this will fill some of the women with the heebie geebies, but _awareness_ of your gender isn't the same as constantly being a predator.


I can sense this from men and totally get that you have no intentions, it's just a feeling.


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## NextTimeAround

Sunshine1234 said:


> Noooo.... Keep going this is good stuff to know
> 
> *And tom, I'm appalled that a woman would go to work without a bra!*


I read that when London tried summer Friday dressing like in NYC, some companies had to advise women to continue wearing proper undergarments.


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