# I'm going NC, finally!! Any hints to stick to it?



## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

After a year of trying to be charming and lovely in the hopes that my stbxh would suddenly fall in love with me again I have decided to go NC.

I started yesterday. I already feel good.

The only contact I will have to have with him is for work. But I am keeping it strictly business.

He called me today to talk about his meeting with his lawyer. They are not telling them what he wants to hear so he is complaining to me. I have gone out of my way to be fair with him. I don't know what he wants. I told him that I shouldn't be the one he is venting to about these things. I think I have been way too available to him over the past year. Talk about cake eating on his part. Now it ends.

How long do you go NC? I think the hard part is he will be upset because he depends on me for so much emotional support. I have to stand strong and not give in to the sad little boy that he becomes. He chose to end the marriage - I am not responsible for helping him through this.

I guess this is mostly a venting post. But I would like to know how NC has worked for other people. Did it make you feel better? Did you have any guilt? Did you ever break the NC?

Thanks for everyone who posts. You are keeping me sane!!


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

I had gone NC because I decided that my (at the time) WW didn't deserve to speak to me, I was too good for her. I ignored ALL personal messages and refused to talk to her on the phone (even txt), just email and even then only important stuff and I would respond with just the answer (like "$800"). I would get a smile on my face every time the phone would ring and I hit the ignore button.


I did this until she was practically begging me to talk to her and she was saying how sorry she was and I was the best thing to happen to her blah blah. By that time I was in control and it was my way or the highway. This took a good 2 to 3 months.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

Try to find someone else who will agree to stand in for the wayward, I have a friend who I send messages to first and she tells me not to send them to the STBXH. Or send them to yourself when you get tempted. I have a whole file of emails I sent to myself and now I can see a pattern, and I was being way too needy. It was like keeping a journal. Now I call or text only for the necessities


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

WHen I first started I did slide back a lot, even though he is the one who wants this, he does reach out to me for support too.


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