# Wife say's I'm smothering her



## NightEagle1981 (Feb 18, 2011)

Well we've started working through everything that had building up till last month. We've been more open on communications and talking about feelings. My wife say's as of recently I have been smothering her too much both physically and sexually. I told her that I haven't felt like this toward her in a long time. She said she is not used to all the attention again and that she feels smothered and that it pushes her away. She is wants more love she say's. She's been more for cuddling, hand holding and hugs. It is nice to see that but she's told me in the past that we never had enough sex and now that I want her more it's too much. Last week we had sex every day even 2 times in one day. The other day she said she used her "toy" which I'm ok with but she didn't come see me first. Then 2 day's ago I wanted to have sex and she said she wasn't in the mood but said just get it over with. She is saying that she feels I am pressuring her with the sex thing. But I just haven't felt this way in a long time. But now that she is saying things like that it makes me feel rejected, depressed questioning myself and asking her what I did wrong or what do I need to change about me.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Nighteagle, maybe you're just moving faster than she is, with regards to feeling close and wanting intimacy. Just give her time, don't be hurt by how she feels, and see where things go from there. Easier said than done, I'm sure. Especially where emotions come into play. But dwelling on being rejected and questioning things will just build resentment. So try to think positive things, like she'll catch up to you soon in terms of wanting intimacy.

C


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## Vacadeluz (Mar 4, 2011)

Niteagle, I just went through this with my wife. It hurt like heck that she wanted her space and I tried to fight for the closeness that i wanted. However, when I did give her the space she needed, one of those things was not asking/looking for sex, she was able to come to me.

If your looking for sex and she tells you to "Just get it over with" dont do it. Tell her that you want to because you love her, find her sexy, all that jazz then tell her you dont want to have sex if she isnt into it.

One of the things that hit me was when my wife told me "Your being really needy right now and thats not attractive". With that I backed way off and just a couple days later we were in the sack making up. 

Give it a bit of time. You can let her know you want to be with her, but that you are going to wait for her to be ready. Then do just that.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/21278-thermostat-ultimate-barometer-your-r.html

Something along those lines.

Sex is a very tricky issue and feeling get hurt fast. Figure out what works in your new situation.


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