# Wife Obssessed with MLM



## Mykice

Hi guys, Im new here. I was searching the internet for a support group such as this because I am really desperate about my wife's situation. My wife an i are married for 5 years already and during the time where we had a financial crisis. She was introduced to MLM (Multi Level Marketing) we were promised a lot including riches and financial freedom. Freedom from employment etc.. My wife took me to this seminar and sadly i was convinced and decided to quit my job and pursue this MLM. To cut to the chase things didnt go well, we were evicted from our house, I dont even have a single cent to buy a milk for my kid whos during that time was only 2 years old. and i decided that this should not happen again so i went back to the folds of employment and I asked my wife to stop engaging with those MLM folks. My work flourished and we were able to get our lives again for 2 years i worked my ass off just to get to where we are right now. Little that i know that my wife is still engaged with the MLM. 1 day she asked me if she can have money since she wants to start MLM again and she already learn from her mistakes so i went for it and gave her what she needs because i love her and even though i don't buy the idea of going back to MLM but still because my wife is so confident that we would be earning more so i went for it.Our agreement was she has to pay every penny that she borrowed from our savings soon and i noticed all of our savings is gone and i asked her about it she said she invested it with MLM and my company closed down so in short i have no work again. luckily i used to work in a call center before and i was an I.T i landed a home based job. it pays fairly well and it would suffice our daily needs but my wife who still addicted to MLM wants my whole salary to be invested. I told her we already failed and lost huge amount of money because of this and there are bills that needs to be paid and loans that you applied that i need to pay as well (the loaned money to invest yet again)I just dont know what to do with her anymore. I dont want to leave her because i love her i just want her to get out of that MLM.


----------



## happy as a clam

OMG... no advice, only to chime in. I feel for what you're going through. 

I have a friend who is on her *TENTH* MLM scam... She has shelled out thousands of dollars to buy the "inventory kit"... only to lose her investment because she never sells a d*mn thing!!

And her husband just keeps shelling out the money to buy into the next scam. 

Her "office" is a *graveyard *of Mary Kay, Monavie, Rodan & Fields, 31, Longaberger, Party-Lite Candles, Pampered Chef, Amway, Shaklee, and "Jewelry" products...


----------



## Mykice

Thanks for the reply. I am really desperate on how to get her mind out of MLM. there are times that i want strangle all her friends who encouraged her to invest. i notified my bank and told them not to entertain any more withdrawals from her. I am really fed up. with just had an argument earlier today. My salary is due to arrive tom from paypal and she wants to borrow everything so she can buy products and promised me again that she would pay it back. I just cant do that i told her. We have a lot of bills to pay loans that she applied and sadly i am the one who's paying. I dont know how long i can keep. To be honest sometimes I just dont want to see her and only then i would get some sanity.


----------



## ConanHub

Your wife needs help. Any therapy that helps deal with addiction can help.

You need to take control and cut her off.

Unfortunately, addictions can often destroy a marriage. Life will be unpleasant for you to stand up to her but she will destroy you and your children if you don't.

Have you told her she has a problem and needs help?


----------



## happy as a clam

Mykice...

Don't fall for it again! It's an endless marketing ploy, and your wife is prime for the picking of available suckers. (Sorry to be harsh, but true.)

These MLMs know JUST the personality type that will fall for "the next best thing"... sadly, your wife is in the bullseye.

Stop throwing good money after bad... you know where it gets you --> further in the hole. She will never sell the products. She will never "pay you back."


----------



## Mykice

ConanHub said:


> Your wife needs help. Any therapy that helps deal with addiction can help.
> 
> You need to take control and cut her off.
> 
> Unfortunately, addictions can often destroy a marriage. Life will be unpleasant for you to stand up to her but she will destroy you and your children if you don't.
> 
> Have you told her she has a problem and needs help?


yeah many times I told her that she needs help at the end of the day we only solved nothing. she keeps insisting that these MLM is the true way for us to be free financially. I wish there are laws that would put this MLM down the drain.that's what i am planning to do to cut her from having money. She was offered a part time job which pays a lot she declined it and just settled for that cursed MLM.


----------



## Mykice

happy as a clam said:


> Mykice...
> 
> Don't fall for it again! It's an endless marketing ploy, and your wife is prime for the picking of available suckers. (Sorry to be harsh, but true.)
> 
> These MLMs know JUST the personality type that will fall for "the next best thing"... sadly, your wife is in the bullseye.
> 
> Stop throwing good money after bad... you know where it gets you --> further in the hole. She will never sell the products. She will never "pay you back."


I tried that we only ended up arguing. The children were the one who suffers and she doesnt have any idea that what she's doing is destroying our family. I have some addiction as well like video games but i've learned to control it and just do it on my free time. I just dont know what\s with MLM that makes people like my wife go crazy


----------



## Mykice

*Considering leaving my wife because of her obsession with networking*

Hi all, im new here and I could surely use a good advice coming from all of you. I've been married for 5 years and sure married life has its ups and downs and sadly i am on the verge of dropping to the bottomless pit. you see my wife has this obsession about MLM (Multi Level Marketing)and i am not a big fan of this ****ing scam. my hard earned money went down the drain because my wife thinks we would get rich by doing the MLM. and she wants me to quit my job and support her instead. I want to support her but not on this endeavor. we always ended up arguing and she couldnt see what its doing to us. sadly there are times that i dont want to see her and i want to be left alone so that i could still have a bit of insanity. but today was really hard. She wants me to quit my job and give her my months paycheck so she can use it to invest and buy products. She's been doing this MLM crap for over 4 years and right now she havent gotten the results which those bastards from MLM promised that she would get if she would do the business. I am already at the brink of leaving her but i love my kids. should i wait and give her another chance maybe it would change her point of view? its destroying our relationship. Should i leave her because sometimes i think she's dragging me down. any advice would be appreciated. Thanks a lot


----------



## Almostrecovered

*Re: Considering leaving my wife because of her obsession with networking*

yeah, that's basically a pyramid scheme that gets around the law by adding in a salable item

have you tried compiling evidence and showing her how the companies are all scams?

I'd try to get a hold of a lawyer asap to see what can be done to protect yourself financially


----------



## SpinDaddy

*Re: Considering leaving my wife because of her obsession with networking*

I’m sure to draw fire and flack for this but the whole MLM thing, notwithstanding the issue of whether or not the particular program is a Ponzi scheme, really operates on the same underlying psychological principles as a religious cult. And I say that having worked for a number of years in the investigation and prosecution of white collar crimes. 

People (some) just go in deep on these schemes and literally it’d take a cult de-programmer to pull them out.

Mind you I’m not just talking about the seemingly innocuous ones, that everyone has heard about which allegedly focus on the sales and marketing of soaps and household sundries, there are MLM “programs” out there in the hundreds of thousands covering everything from consumer goods to sophisticated equity and market “investing”. The people who run these tend to pick-up, pack-up and head to a new jurisdiction every couple of years – one or two steps ahead of the law if the law ever does take an interest in whats going on. 

My suggestions . . . . keep your job, guard the family money (seriously) and contact your state’s Attorney General, Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, local police department and etc.


----------



## Mykice

*Re: Considering leaving my wife because of her obsession with networking*



Almostrecovered said:


> yeah, that's basically a pyramid scheme that gets around the law by adding in a salable item
> 
> have you tried compiling evidence and showing her how the companies are all scams?
> 
> I'd try to get a hold of a lawyer asap to see what can be done to protect yourself financially


 I explained to her to what happen with us back then. I was caught up with the promise of financial freedom that i quit my job and do the MLM business back then. and financially we hit rock bottom that we were evicted from our house. I told her about how bad MLM and how it affects our relationship but she wouldn't listen. my wife is definitely living in a world of make belief made by her friends who introduce MLM to her that the promise of financial freedom is within reach. Oh how i would love to strangle these people. I told her that doing this business wont pay our bills wont pay our debts(she actually made several loans since she squandered all our savings for the sake of MLM but still i remained and understand her)my wife is stubborn she's use to make decisions on her own. yeah she consult it to me but for the sake of telling me but she doesnt consider my opinion because she already made her decision..


----------



## Mykice

*Re: Considering leaving my wife because of her obsession with networking*



SpinDaddy said:


> I’m sure to draw fire and flack for this but the whole MLM thing, notwithstanding the issue of whether or not the particular program is a Ponzi scheme, really operates on the same underlying psychological principles as a religious cult. And I say that having worked for a number of years in the investigation and prosecution of white collar crimes.
> 
> People (some) just go in deep on these schemes and literally it’d take a cult de-programmer to pull them out.
> 
> Mind you I’m not just talking about the seemingly innocuous ones, that everyone has heard about which allegedly focus on the sales and marketing of soaps and household sundries, there are MLM “programs” out there in the hundreds of thousands covering everything from consumer goods to sophisticated equity and market “investing”. The people who run these tend to pick-up, pack-up and head to a new jurisdiction every couple of years – one or two steps ahead of the law if the law ever does take an interest in whats going on.
> 
> My suggestions . . . . keep your job, guard the family money (seriously) and contact your state’s Attorney General, Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, local police department and etc.


how i wish we have these bureau just like what you have there( I assume youre living in the US) but here in the Philippines we laws about this but implementing it is a big problem, we dont have agencies that protects consumer welfare. that's what i am planning keeping my job. I understand the fact that doing this MLM thing would definitely put my family at risk, I just wished she realize that before its too late. I dont know how to stop her addiction towards this. I dont want to affect our marriage and leave her because of this but sometimes I thought about it. would it change her view about MLM?If not are there any other ways to get her mind off that MLM thing. I love my wife but with the rate she's going I dont know if love would suffice everything. Thanks for your reply it was really helpful


----------



## SadSamIAm

*Re: Considering leaving my wife because of her obsession with networking*



Mykice said:


> I explained to her to what happen with us back then. I was caught up with the promise of financial freedom that i quit my job and do the MLM business back then. and financially we hit rock bottom that we were evicted from our house. I told her about how bad MLM and how it affects our relationship but she wouldn't listen. my wife is definitely living in a world of make belief made by her friends who introduce MLM to her that the promise of financial freedom is within reach. Oh how i would love to strangle these people. I told her that doing this business wont pay our bills wont pay our debts(she actually made several loans since she squandered all our savings for the sake of MLM but still i remained and understand her)my wife is stubborn she's use to make decisions on her own. yeah she consult it to me but for the sake of telling me but she doesnt consider my opinion because she already made her decision..


Sounds like you have tried everything and she won't listen to your opinion. You might have no choice but to leave.

Wonder if there is other family members that she looks up to that could speak with her. Like her father, mother, siblings, etc. 

Do they know what is going on? If not, you should reach out to them for support.


----------



## 6301

*Re: Considering leaving my wife because of her obsession with networking*

How about this. Say no and mean it this time. If she's dragging you down then your letting her do it.

Let her know that if she wants to run her life in a ditch then she should do it on her own but not yours or the kids and say it in a way she knows that your ready to pull the rug out from under her. She ran through her money and now wants yours and it you better make your mind up because your responsible for your kids lives too and since she isn't holding up her end, then it's up to you. 

If she refuses then show her the door but just remember what good it will do your kids if both of you become irresponsible. You already lost your home, isn't that enough?


----------



## staarz21

Unless you want your kids sleeping under a bridge in the cold - STOP GIVING HER MONEY for that crap! Take her off the bank account or open a new one in only your name. Give her a pre paid card that you put money on for food or diapers...whatever your kid needs. That's it. End of story. If she wants to argue tell her to get out, get a job, and pay for her stupid investments herself. 

That is insane that you keep giving her money for that!


----------



## PBear

My advice is to stick with one thread... It helps people trying to help you. It's also the forum rules. 

C


----------



## LongWalk

My father who was a board certified psychiatrist/neurologist with a MS in EE to boot got into Amway with my brother who was mentally ill.

Of course it does not work. 

Crazy. It's an addiction, a gambling addiction to be precise.

Good news. You can lick this.

Tell your wife that you'll divorce her if she continues. Also she has to work


----------



## Mykice

staarz21 said:


> Unless you want your kids sleeping under a bridge in the cold - STOP GIVING HER MONEY for that crap! Take her off the bank account or open a new one in only your name. Give her a pre paid card that you put money on for food or diapers...whatever your kid needs. That's it. End of story. If she wants to argue tell her to get out, get a job, and pay for her stupid investments herself.
> 
> That is insane that you keep giving her money for that!


I told her that my friend from work offered her a job (part time) she would just work for 4 hours and she'll be paid roughly $400/month (home base) she declined it her reason was no one will take care of the kids and clean the house, cook dinner etc..As far as i know my 3 kids are going to school except for my youngest.i am the one who's cleaning the house during weekends and im the one who's cooking lunch and dinner the reason being is not that my wife is bad cook but i just dont like the way she cooks so i make it to a point that im the one who cooks our meal. So I dont understand why she declined the job and instead settled for MLM for me actually is the first sign of addiction to that MLM.


----------



## PBear

*Re: Re: Wife Obssessed with MLM*



Mykice said:


> I told her that my friend from work offered her a job (part time) she would just work for 4 hours and she'll be paid roughly $400/month (home base) she declined it her reason was no one will take care of the kids and clean the house, cook dinner etc..As far as i know my 3 kids are going to school except for my youngest.i am the one who's cleaning the house during weekends and im the one who's cooking lunch and dinner the reason being is not that my wife is bad cook but i just dont like the way she cooks so i make it to a point that im the one who cooks our meal. So I dont understand why she declined the job and instead settled for MLM for me actually is the first sign of addiction to that MLM.


Because she's looking to get rich quick and doesn't really want to work hard to earn her money. Isn't that the premise of MLM's? Get in on the ground floor so soon you won't have to work and can just roll around in piles of money? 

C


----------



## Mykice

*Re: Considering leaving my wife because of her obsession with networking*



SadSamIAm said:


> Sounds like you have tried everything and she won't listen to your opinion. You might have no choice but to leave.
> 
> Wonder if there is other family members that she looks up to that could speak with her. Like her father, mother, siblings, etc.
> 
> Do they know what is going on? If not, you should reach out to them for support.


Well my wife came from a dysfunctional family and her parents let her be adopted by her grandparent(which is a good thing) but her foster parents is very old already and have tons of problems and i just dont want them to get involved anymore. Her biological parents and her siblings? its not actually a good idea.


----------



## Mykice

PBear said:


> Because she's looking to get rich quick and doesn't really want to work hard to earn her money. Isn't that the premise of MLM's? Get in on the ground floor so soon you won't have to work and can just roll around in piles of money?
> 
> C


that is correct. She haven't learned anything based on what happened to us. She's been doing this MLM thing for over 4 years now and nothing happened. Only just recently where i noticed that she's obsessed with MLM.


----------



## LongWalk

She is hardly unique.

You have a real chance to break this addiction but only by having zero tolerance.

Who is above her in the pyramid? Do you know him/her?
That relationship must end. Your wife must send a NC text that you write. You must see her send it from her phone and email. That person has to be blocked on Facebook.

Tell your wife that her involvement is going to destroy your marriage just as sure as alcoholism or infidelity. Look her in the eye. Say it just once.

Copy the standard divorce for poor people without lawyers papers. Fill them in and ask her to sign.

If you wife says she doesn't want a divorce, tell her you're glad to hear it. Reply: "That's great, Honey, cause I love you. You have to give up MLM."

For your part tell her that you may not be meeting all her needs but you are listening to her. Ask her what she wants from her life, her marriage. Never lose your temper. Ask Jld (a woman poster for coaching) she can help you.


----------



## Mykice

LongWalk said:


> She is hardly unique.
> 
> You have a real chance to break this addiction but only by having zero tolerance.
> 
> Who is above her in the pyramid? Do you know him/her?
> That relationship must end. Your wife must send a NC text that you write. You must see her send it from her phone and email. That person has to be blocked on Facebook.
> 
> Tell your wife that her involvement is going to destroy your marriage just as sure as alcoholism or infidelity. Look her in the eye. Say it just once.
> 
> Copy the standard divorce for poor people without lawyers papers. Fill them in and ask her to sign.
> 
> If you wife says she doesn't want a divorce, tell her you're glad to hear it. Reply: "That's great, Honey, cause I love you. You have to give up MLM."
> 
> For your part tell her that you may not be meeting all her needs but you are listening to her. Ask her what she wants from her life, her marriage. Never lose your temper. Ask Jld (a woman poster for coaching) she can help you.


her uplines? they are just as hardcore fanatics as my wife 1 of her uplines left his husband over MLM because like me he doesnt let his wife get involved and according to her testimony after leaving her husband she became successful and earning a lot of money, the other 1 like the 1st one prioritize MLM as well and left his partner for good and got good results as what they say when they make their stupid testimonies over their new recruits . I already talked to the bank not to permit anymore withdrawals from her. Im going to write her because talking to her about her precious MLM would end us in disagreement. Definitely she would choose MLM over us because those pricks from that MLM company have many testimonies where they left their significant other over MLM. MLM calls people who are against them as "DREAM STEALERS" because like me I discourage my wife from pursing her dreams to get financial freedom. she texted me yesterday and she said and i quote (not that i am exaggerating this but its the true context of what she said) she'll kill anyone who tries destroys her business. Imagine that.. She is totally delusional because of what these people put into her brains. She wants me quit my job and support her because my job's pay is not that good (according to her) and once she gets her check she'll compare it to what i am earning and of course she thinks that money is everything but its not. I told her that i am not here to compete about who's getting more money and who\s not . The main reason why i work because of my kids and I dont want them to experience what we experienced before about us getting evicted from our home.


----------



## LongWalk

Your wife doesn't have money on which to live if you divorce her. You need to set down boundaries to stop her participation.

Since you are married the debts she creates are yours to share. Tell her you are dream stealer. Do not move out of your home but file for divorce. It's a terrible step but how else can you get her to wake up?

Cutting off all her money is a good start.


----------



## Mykice

LongWalk said:


> Your wife doesn't have money on which to live if you divorce her. You need to set down boundaries to stop her participation.
> 
> Since you are married the debts she creates are yours to share. Tell her you are dream stealer. Do not move out of your home but file for divorce. It's a terrible step but how else can you get her to wake up?
> 
> Cutting off all her money is a good start.


Thanks for the advice LongWalk i am going to do that right now. and blocking her uplines i dont actually know my wife's password with facebook or her email. I dont actually get myself involve in accessing her account. I respect her privacy and I would not go to that territory its kinda against my principle.


----------



## Blossom Leigh

Which company is it? Or just a first letter if you don't want to say the whole name.


----------



## SpinDaddy

SpinDaddy said:


> I’m sure to draw fire and flack for this but the whole MLM thing, notwithstanding the issue of whether or not the particular program is a Ponzi scheme, really operates on the same underlying psychological principles as a religious cult. And I say that having worked for a number of years in the investigation and prosecution of white collar crimes.
> People (some) just go in deep on these schemes and literally it’d take a cult de-programmer to pull them out.
> Mind you I’m not just talking about the seemingly innocuous ones, that everyone has heard about which allegedly focus on the sales and marketing of soaps and household sundries, there are MLM “programs” out there in the hundreds of thousands covering everything from consumer goods to sophisticated equity and market “investing”. The people who run these tend to pick-up, pack-up and head to a new jurisdiction every couple of years – one or two steps ahead of the law if the law ever does take an interest in what’s going on.
> My suggestions . . . . keep your job, guard the family money (seriously) and contact your state’s Attorney General, Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, local police department and etc.





Mykice said:


> how i wish we have these bureau just like what you have there( I assume youre living in the US) but here in the Philippines we laws about this but implementing it is a big problem, we dont have agencies that protects consumer welfare. that's what i am planning keeping my job. I understand the fact that doing this MLM thing would definitely put my family at risk, I just wished she realize that before its too late. I dont know how to stop her addiction towards this. I dont want to affect our marriage and leave her because of this but sometimes I thought about it. would it change her view about MLM?If not are there any other ways to get her mind off that MLM thing. I love my wife but with the rate she's going I dont know if love would suffice everything. Thanks for your reply it was really helpful


*Howdy Ice:*

I appreciate the friend request and will accept as soon as my technological capabilities allow me to do so. Look at what I liked in the responses within this combined discussion thread. Also to the folks who said “cut the line” but brought in the factor of divorce – I agree up to “divorce”. 

Knowing that you are Philippine, I think there is a lot more to this dilemma than if you were writing to us from somewhere in Texas (USA) or the European Union. 

This MLM “jackassery” very much appeals to the cultural underpinnings of your wife (Filipina) and at least here in the States to many people from working classes, rural environments, and certain religious denominations. In a very deep cultural and philosophical sense, she believes what she is doing is right and in the best interest of the family. For those of you not familiar with the culture, it is very matriarchal and within the culture, Philippines are very much into the notion of “grass roots” financing.

That said, she (IMHO) is absolutely the most susceptible of all to these scams, very much so an “innocent” in-so-much-as she believes that the scam is the right thing for her family, and you face a complete “up-hill battle”. Your best hope is to discredit the MLM scam itself but that is, in my observations, almost an objective obtainable only to those who are single minded and readied to fight windmills – for a long damn time.

That said, don’t entirely discount your ability to “put a monkey-wrench” into this thing. I worked (for many years) for a large multinational (Fortune 5) corporation which maintains operations in the Philippines. If you can (in any way possible) make a connection between this scam and the United States or any other country for that matter, file a complaint with the American Chamber of Commerce or any other relevant international trade association. File complaints with your local agencies; get in touch with a local television, radio station or other media outlet and raise as much hell as possible.

I hope for your sake that “reasonable minds will prevail” but you MUST ABSOLUTELY cut off any free-flow of money between your wife and these shysters. You know what that means and you also know the repercussions – YOU MUST HANG TOUGH – and you must be prepared that she may do all kinds of things to undermine you. More often than not, once the money has dried up her MLM Brothers and Sisters will move on to greener pastures and she will go through all kinds of psychological reconciliations. Whether you survive as a family is another story altogether but the alternative is, itself catastrophic, so you have nothing to lose.

Hang tough, come back for support and know that we are pulling for you and your family.

*Warm regards,

Spin*


----------



## Mykice

Blossom Leigh said:


> Which company is it? Or just a first letter if you don't want to say the whole name.


it's one of the prominent MLM company here in Manila its First Vita Plus they sell herbal juice supplement. (I dont care even if it reaches their CEO MLM is always MLM and they destroys marriage and leaves you with nothing)


----------



## Mykice

SpinDaddy said:


> *Howdy Ice:*
> 
> I appreciate the friend request and will accept as soon as my technological capabilities allow me to do so. Look at what I liked in the responses within this combined discussion thread. Also to the folks who said “cut the line” but brought in the factor of divorce – I agree up to “divorce”.
> 
> Knowing that you are Philippine, I think there is a lot more to this dilemma than if you were writing to us from somewhere in Texas (USA) or the European Union.
> 
> This MLM “jackassery” very much appeals to the cultural underpinnings of your wife (Filipina) and at least here in the States to many people from working classes, rural environments, and certain religious denominations. In a very deep cultural and philosophical sense, she believes what she is doing is right and in the best interest of the family. For those of you not familiar with the culture, it is very matriarchal and within the culture, Philippines are very much into the notion of “grass roots” financing.
> 
> That said, she (IMHO) is absolutely the most susceptible of all to these scams, very much so an “innocent” in-so-much-as she believes that the scam is the right thing for her family, and you face a complete “up-hill battle”. Your best hope is to discredit the MLM scam itself but that is, in my observations, almost an objective obtainable only to those who are single minded and readied to fight windmills – for a long damn time.
> 
> That said, don’t entirely discount your ability to “put a monkey-wrench” into this thing. I worked (for many years) for a large multinational (Fortune 5) corporation which maintains operations in the Philippines. If you can (in any way possible) make a connection between this scam and the United States or any other country for that matter, file a complaint with the American Chamber of Commerce or any other relevant international trade association. File complaints with your local agencies; get in touch with a local television, radio station or other media outlet and raise as much hell as possible.
> 
> I hope for your sake that “reasonable minds will prevail” but you MUST ABSOLUTELY cut off any free-flow of money between your wife and these shysters. You know what that means and you also know the repercussions – YOU MUST HANG TOUGH – and you must be prepared that she may do all kinds of things to undermine you. More often than not, once the money has dried up her MLM Brothers and Sisters will move on to greener pastures and she will go through all kinds of psychological reconciliations. Whether you survive as a family is another story altogether but the alternative is, itself catastrophic, so you have nothing to lose.
> 
> Hang tough, come back for support and know that we are pulling for you and your family.
> 
> *Warm regards,
> 
> Spin*


Thank you very much spin I really appreciate all the advice's that are coming in. I've been searching a support group such as these that can help me with my problem. i am prepared to do whatever it takes to take her mind out of that scam. like what most folks said its better for me to cut the money flow first. Right now she's away for almost 2 weeks she's in manila right now having that seminar. I permitted her to attend so I can find time to relax and think everything about our situation and what steps that I need to do.It Frustrates me because i feel so helpless in getting her mind out of that scam.


----------



## staarz21

Well since you are the one making the money, you have the power to help her stop. Giving her money and allowing her (or giving her the means) to attend these seminars is enabling. 

If you don't like living with it, change it. It's going to be hard and you will have to sacrifice some and be uncomfortable sometimes. But you have to list out some boundaries and what the consequences will be if she crosses those boundaries. Do not give warnings and do not allow her to get angry with you about it. 

Well, she's going to get angry, but don't engage in the arguments. Just try to walk away or go for a walk, work overtime...whatever. Start by safeguarding your money...not for her, not for you, but for those kids!!!


----------



## whatslovegottodowithit?

Run the numbers and show her how much all that money that was spent on MLM schemes would be worth today. Show her the standard if you invested "X" amount in a IRA, mutual fund, 401k, etc... it would be worth "X" today. Explain that the initial investment would gain interest, which would then compound, then that interest would further grow along with the initial investment, then blah, blah, blah.

My point, frame investing like it's MLM! Use stupid terms like downline if that will help. Draw lines and circles if that is what she needs to see the end result. You will be wealthy if you work hard and sacrifice to save with the BIG payoff being at the end with no meetings, no chanting, no selling to your friends. You can achieve financial freedom, but not from dirtbags who have the supposed magic formula.


----------



## happy as a clam

Have her read this excellent article from a married couple who used to be involved in MLMs. They got out when they realized how unethical and unsustainable it is...

Stay Away from MLM
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mykice

happy as a clam said:


> Have her read this excellent article from a married couple who used to be involved in MLMs. They got out when they realized how unethical and unsustainable it is...
> 
> Stay Away from MLM
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks for the link happy as of this moment i am creating a blog about MLM's this link you gave me is very helpful ill be sure to include it on my blog thanks a bunch


----------



## whatslovegottodowithit?

Here is a link to a website (a copy) that I found in 97'-98' that I used to not only "join" my friend in his business opportunity, but I printed a lot of the content and sent to him:

AUS: Welcome

The website was shut down by scamway, but the mirrors and copies still live on for almost 20 years!! It details how prospects are coached to avoid ANYONE who is skeptical and rely on their down/up lines during these times. It is clear they prey on the weak looking for something to belong to. Thought you may want to include some or all of the site's content for your blog.


----------



## whatslovegottodowithit?

Further, everybody's favorite Christian financial radio guru Dave Ramsey legitimizes MLM:

Guide to Joining a Multilevel Marketing Company - daveramsey.com

You know this guy, use envelopes, pay smallest debts first regardless of the interest rate, expect 12% investment returns, never buy a new car, etc...


----------



## happy as a clam

Mykice said:


> Thanks for the link happy as of this moment i am creating a blog about MLM's this link you gave me is very helpful ill be sure to include it on my blog thanks a bunch


You're so welcome! I thought it was a great article... he even mentions the whole "dream stealers" concept.

Here's a true story that happened to me and my ex almost 20 years ago:

We had a very good friend named "Eric." Eric (who was a lawyer with an MBA and a trusted family friend) connected us with really good investment people, insurance people, estate planners, etc. over the years.

He called us one day to tell us he had a "great investment opportunity" that involved marketing and networking with people we knew. He set up a meeting and told us he was bringing his "marketing guru" along -- we were going to make money beyond our wildest dreams!! This was in the early 90s -- long before the new MLM players even existed.

So they show up, we listen to the "brainwashing spiel" for about an hour (honestly, I had NO IDEA what the guru was even talking about! Just vague references to marketing, hierarchical strategies, upline and downline concepts, mentoring others... Huh? :wtf

Finally, my radar went way up when I realized he had been talking for an hour and we still had NO IDEA what he was talking about! I asked him, "Wait a minute... is this *AMWAY???"*

He admitted it was.

I stood up, told them the meeting was over, I didn't appreciate them trying to buffalo me into a scam MLM. I literally threw the a$$holes out of my house! I was fuming.

Needless to say, Eric lost our complete respect and trust and we never did business with him again. It also strained our families' friendship.

My biggest problem with MLMs... they never really tell you who they are, what they're about, or how NO ONE at the bottom (bottom feeders) makes a dime. For crying out loud... why can't they just be honest in their representation and call a spade a spade?

Mykice... I don't mean to sound dramatic, but your wife may need to undergo "deprogramming." That's how serious this is.


----------



## Blossom Leigh

At the bottom of this issue is personal and financial boundaries, therefore I recommend the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. That needs rebalancing.


----------



## Mykice

happy as a clam said:


> You're so welcome! I thought it was a great article... he even mentions the whole "dream stealers" concept.
> 
> Here's a true story that happened to me and my ex almost 20 years ago:
> 
> We had a very good friend named "Eric." Eric (who was a lawyer with an MBA and a trusted family friend) connected us with really good investment people, insurance people, estate planners, etc. over the years.
> 
> He called us one day to tell us he had a "great investment opportunity" that involved marketing and networking with people we knew. He set up a meeting and told us he was bringing his "marketing guru" along -- we were going to make money beyond our wildest dreams!! This was in the early 90s -- long before the new MLM players even existed.
> 
> So they show up, we listen to the "brainwashing spiel" for about an hour (honestly, I had NO IDEA what the guru was even talking about! Just vague references to marketing, hierarchical strategies, upline and downline concepts, mentoring others... Huh? :wtf
> 
> Finally, my radar went way up when I realized he had been talking for an hour and we still had NO IDEA what he was talking about! I asked him, "Wait a minute... is this *AMWAY???"*
> 
> He admitted it was.
> 
> I stood up, told them the meeting was over, I didn't appreciate them trying to buffalo me into a scam MLM. I literally threw the a$$holes out of my house! I was fuming.
> 
> Needless to say, Eric lost our complete respect and trust and we never did business with him again. It also strained our families' friendship.
> 
> My biggest problem with MLMs... they never really tell you who they are, what they're about, or how NO ONE at the bottom (bottom feeders) makes a dime. For crying out loud... why can't they just be honest in their representation and call a spade a spade?
> 
> Mykice... I don't mean to sound dramatic, but your wife may need to undergo "deprogramming." That's how serious this is.


 I know well we talked today and as usual she's very much into that scam that she don't want to listen to me and even spoke to me in a profane manner (my wife doesnt talk like that before) She keep saying that MLM is the way and she's doing this because she wants our family to get out of our mediocre life. I am a fairly level headed bloke and the way i see it i am contented of what we have, We have our own house, I can send my kids school, able to eat 3 times a day what more can i ask for. For me, after what I have experience with that MLM it taught me a great deal about life. That the true way for you get out of poverty is to have a REAL JOB not scamming people of how MLM can get you out of poverty fast and easy. I was delusional once because of my lack of understanding about MLM but sooner i realize how this guys operates being positive all time, encouraging you to move forward and keep getting your dreams and even to a point that they show to you their achievements with MLM. showing off their sports car, showing off their BIG houses. It's a good thing i was able to analyze what this people want from me that i decided to stop. but unfortunately my wife decided to stay. I told my wife last night that im planning to have a therapy session with a marriage councilor so we could talk about our big issues in our relationship and I told my wife that she really needs help about her and her MLM and how its affecting our marriage and our family as a whole, unfortunately she blasted me right away.


----------



## Blossom Leigh

I think it may help you navigate this by shifting perspective to treating it as if it is an addiction and her as an addict. Groups like Al-Anon and ACOA , and books like Codependent No More will give you answers on how best to navigate people you love who have addictions. There are other books out there, especially Boundaries books and the book Emotional Blackmail.


----------



## Blossom Leigh

And by the way, she verbally abused you.


----------



## Blondilocks

Does she go to church? If so, get your priest, pastor whatever involved. Church's hate to see anyone else getting your money.


----------



## Mykice

badsanta said:


> Ask your wife that if she DID manage to get in on the ground floor of a MLM scheme that made her insanely rich at the expense of hurting poor people if she would ever feel sorry about taking their money?
> 
> If she would feel sorry for them, then ask her to expand on why she feels this is going to make things better for your family emotionally?
> 
> If she says she would NOT care, then explain to her that that is exactly how her MLM "friends" feel about her and that they are NOT her friends!


We talked about this. i told her that if you got rich because of MLM at the expense of hurting your family and hurting other people. We even debated about the legality of this MLM,she kept saying that this MLM existed for over 10 years the company got certifications from the Government. also other non government organization. Here in the Philippines were corruption is very rampant you can get a certification and even license to operate just as long you have the benjamins to give. how many times that these MLM went into the hot water because of complaints but none ever won. Here the law is only for the rich and powerful again of you dont have the greens you might as well give up. 

She even insisted that certain sacrifices have to be made in order to achieve the goal. There are some testimonies where those MLM people would stay late looking for people so their business would grow. well so going back to my wife, as what she elaborated sacrifices has to be made. so meaning even though all hell would break loose and our children would start hating her as long as she achieves her goal to provide a good future to our kids because of MLM it is worth it. she says. Her addiction is really alarming that's why little by little i am slashing her from her addiction starting with our savings account and then her cellphone. she asked me to install an app for her and it was my chance to install a blocking software that blocks incoming and outgoing call and text from a certain number. I asked a marriage Councillor from her church about our current dilemma. So looks like i have to force her to to attend the seminar. 

I blasted all her uplines sending letter through their emails informing them about our marriage going to the rocks because of them, i know they are hardcore fanatics of MLM but i took the chance. sadly there's no Government agency that can help me about putting away that MLM or filing a lawsuit against them. The only solution i could think off is for my wife to remove that from her system


----------



## Mykice

and oh by the way to you guys who's in the USA, Europe and Canada they are currently expanding and they already have offices all across the east coast and west coast. just a heads up maybe one of your friends or even your husband or wife might get hooked with them


----------



## Mykice

Blondilocks said:


> Does she go to church? If so, get your priest, pastor whatever involved. Church's hate to see anyone else getting your money.


The Church here aint as pro active as any other churches.why because even pastors, clerics and even priest alike get hooked up with this kind of business as for them with the doctrines and advocacy of MLM already injected to their brains it is very hard for them to see the negative side of it. believe me when i tell you I was introduced to some of them and even most of them are using their profession and even using God for them to acquire new members. The Philippines is a small country with a lot of MLM business and a lot of people are totally in to this kind of business. Until such time they flopped only then they would realize how bad MLM is. The main reason why these people kept telling you to go to their office and be powered by their speaker is because these people wants you to be upbeat and do the business. That's what my wife has been doing. watching videos over you tube and even watching some documentaries about people who succeeded with MLM against all odds.


----------



## Mykice

UPDATE: my wife and i had an argument over the phone a couple of minutes ago. She blasted me over to the blog i have created regarding MLM and cutting her resources from withdrawing money from our savings account. but there's one part o have missed i gave her my payroll atm without me knowing it she withdrew all of my hard earned money and paid the MLM company for a new set of products. It was a very hard time for me because it was our budget for Christmas and food till the end of the month. as soon as i make some investigation why my salary havent come up, and it turns out she used it for her MLM without telling me. She's been gone for a month now. and she hasnt come back and keep changing her sched to return home because of her MLM and she explained to our kids that its for their future. Well she went berserk over my blog and how i told a lot of people not to be lured over to that MLM company or any other. and of course i retaliated and started shouting at her then it came she abused me verbally with such profanity and i retaliated as well. there's no doctor here that could help us with her addiction and i dont know how to de program her from that MLM. its a start that i limited her ability financially


----------



## Blossom Leigh

Mykice said:


> UPDATE: my wife and i had an argument over the phone a couple of minutes ago. She blasted me over to the blog i have created regarding MLM and cutting her resources from withdrawing money from our savings account. but there's one part o have missed i gave her my payroll atm without me knowing it she withdrew all of my hard earned money and paid the MLM company for a new set of products. It was a very hard time for me because it was our budget for Christmas and food till the end of the month. as soon as i make some investigation why my salary havent come up, and it turns out she used it for her MLM without telling me. She's been gone for a month now. and she hasnt come back and keep changing her sched to return home because of her MLM and she explained to our kids that its for their future. Well she went berserk over my blog and how i told a lot of people not to be lured over to that MLM company or any other. and of course i retaliated and started shouting at her then it came she abused me verbally with such profanity and i retaliated as well. there's no doctor here that could help us with her addiction and i dont know how to de program her from that MLM. its a start that i limited her ability financially


Did you tell her she is now a thief and that she not only stole the money from you but took food from her children's mouths and their Christmas presents?

Where is she? Many of these companies now offer buy back options where if you return the product you get a portion or all of your money back. If it were me, I would be packing up some products... I would give her til the end if the week to rectify this situation and return the stolen money or she gets hit with divorce papers. And if she doesn't return home within the week and start being a wife and mother, she gets hit with divorce papers. You have got your hands full with this one. She has abandoned y'all.


----------



## Blossom Leigh

I read and agree the Buying, Cancellation and Refund Policy
- No payment, no finalization and confirmation of shipping.
- Product availability and prices are subject to change without prior notice.
- 1stvitaplus.com does not accept RUSH purchase, strictly require at least (4) days lead time.
- Cancellations of finalized purchase, will be based on staff salary, operating expenses, and other charges. 
- Cancellations may also be, an equivalent of P500.
- Bank charges should be on client account.
- Credit card processing fee (5.5%) from the total amount is not refundable.
- Refund, where applicable, will take place 30 banking days after cancellation requirements are completed.
- E-mails will be answered within 24 hours, (except weekends and holidays) between 8am to 6pm (Philippine time). 

- 1stvitaplus.com are not responsible for changes which arises as a result of events outside of our control and not liable for any loss, injury, death, accident or damage sustained.

*These policies don't look too favorable to recouping your money from the company. I would take possession of the products and liquidate them on Amazon. Where is your wife?*


----------



## Mykice

Blossom Leigh said:


> I read and agree the Buying, Cancellation and Refund Policy
> - No payment, no finalization and confirmation of shipping.
> - Product availability and prices are subject to change without prior notice.
> - 1stvitaplus.com does not accept RUSH purchase, strictly require at least (4) days lead time.
> - Cancellations of finalized purchase, will be based on staff salary, operating expenses, and other charges.
> - Cancellations may also be, an equivalent of P500.
> - Bank charges should be on client account.
> - Credit card processing fee (5.5%) from the total amount is not refundable.
> - Refund, where applicable, will take place 30 banking days after cancellation requirements are completed.
> - E-mails will be answered within 24 hours, (except weekends and holidays) between 8am to 6pm (Philippine time).
> 
> - 1stvitaplus.com are not responsible for changes which arises as a result of events outside of our control and not liable for any loss, injury, death, accident or damage sustained.
> 
> *These policies don't look too favorable to recouping your money from the company. I would take possession of the products and liquidate them on Amazon. Where is your wife?*


Thanks for the reply, She's still in Manila, she said that she needs to work her network double time and look for people to fill her group and she explained to our kids that she's doing this because she wants them to have a nice Christmas.sigh* she's been in manila for almost a month now and we had a couple of arguments because of this. and now she is asking for another extension since she needs to attend a team building of some sort with her network buddies. I told her that ill send all her belongings if she's not back by sunday and told her that ill be leaving her for good and take the kids. I dont care if it would go down to a legal battle since i know the court would grant me custody over my kids. She doesnt have any stable job except for that MLM which is NOT a job.


----------



## LongWalk

She is a member of a cult.

Without deprogramming she's in big trouble.

Is she going to prostitute herself to get money to feed the addiction?


----------



## ConanHub

LongWalk said:


> She is a member of a cult.
> 
> Without deprogramming she's in big trouble.
> 
> Is she going to prostitute herself to get money to feed the addiction?


My thoughts as well. OP. You need to separate yourself at least financially from her. She has lost her mind. You have to protect your children.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mykice

I took long walks advice, I am already cutting her financially and settled her loans yesterday, I told those lending people not to permit her in engaging another loan because she doesnt have the means to pay for it and besides my family here is somewhat have a political influence over our town so it was easy for me to talk to these people to stop engaging any other transaction with my wife. It was a bad move for me to let her go and attend to that seminar thinking I would have time to think but it backfired because she overstayed in the capital for a month now. I want to drain her financially to that all of her account from that MLM would expire. I am confident that she would not be able to get anymore members here in our town because most of them doesnt have the money to purchase the products, my wife was the one who's sponsoring them to join and she's using our savings acct to finance these people. Now that ive taken our savings out of the equation i am pretty confident that she would have a hard time financing them. I think cutting her financially would be my 1st step of deprogramming her. I am not holding and budgeting our expenses so she would not be tempted to use it for that MLM. I know when she gets here on Sunday definitely it would be another argument but i have already made my decision. im going to stand firm of what i have done and not back out from it. I love her and i want her to be free from that MLM and I hope i am not too late in cutting her addiction.


----------



## LongWalk

Have you read about the 180?


----------



## Blossom Leigh

You better be prepared for her nastiness... it's going to be ugly. 

You DO have the option of not tolerating it.

I would not discuss ANYTHING unless she is calm. The second she gets loud, be quiet and tell her, nothing further until she can speak calmly and rationally.


----------



## happy as a clam

Mykice said:


> ...but i have already made my decision. *im going to stand firm of what i have done and not back out from it.* I love her and i want her to be free from that MLM and I hope i am not too late in cutting her addiction.


That's a great attitude Mykice. When she starts blustering and arguing (and she will) just re-read your post above. You know what is likely going to happen when she returns on Sunday, so you need firm resolve to get through it.

She will deplete every penny if allowed to get her hands on it.

Stick to your guns. :gun:


----------



## Mykice

LongWalk said:


> Have you read about the 180?


no I haven't long walk


----------



## Mykice

happy as a clam said:


> That's a great attitude Mykice. When she starts blustering and arguing (and she will) just re-read your post above. You know what is likely going to happen when she returns on Sunday, so you need firm resolve to get through it.
> 
> She will deplete every penny if allowed to get her hands on it.
> 
> Stick to your guns. :gun:


I want her to change and i hope I would have the patience to bear it all. I know when she comes back on sunday definitely there would be an argument and i prepared and conditioned my mind not to argue with her when the time comes. Ill just have to step outside until she calms down.


----------



## Mykice

update..I have decided to leave my wife...we had an argument today. She went ballistic because i took her daily collection from her client for me its a way for her to be disciplined but i was verbally abused and insulted my manhood. telling me how incompetent i am. For over a month she was in manila attending to that MLM. I for my part while she was away doing her MLM i was a single parent. doing the laundry, feeding the kids, preparing their meal before they go to school. I dont know how i did it. my work is in PST so i have to be online 12 midnight to talk to my boss who's in california while doing IT work for the office. My work stops at 9am and i have to prepare lunch for them, clean the house then sleep around 2pm for just a couple of hours wake up at around 6pm to to prepare dinner. then start working again. It hurts because she failed to realize that it was suppose to be her job as a mother to help me and her reason was she's doing this MLM to prepare our future. So i had it i packed my bags and left. she threatened me with a law suite because she wants our savings account and she should be the one who would be handling it for the kids and i dont want to give it to her. im prepared to have a legal battle over the custody of my 2 kids. I have 4 actually but the 2 doesnt belong to me. Before i took her to my wings she has 3 kids (1 of them died) because it comes with the territory once you marry a single mom you have to take the kids as well. and i have loved them as my own. and now this. it's difficult because some part of my being is missing and all of this its because of that MLM


----------



## LongWalk

So you have two biological children with her?

You should not move out of your home. That will make her hand stronger in divorce.


----------



## Mykice

LongWalk said:


> So you have two biological children with her?
> 
> You should not move out of your home. That will make her hand stronger in divorce.


yes i have long walk


----------



## happy as a clam

Mykice,

Stick to your guns!!

But I agree with Longwalk... don't leave your home -- could be viewed as "abandonment", unless the laws are different in the Philippines. You know better than us what the law defines as abandonment.

Don't cave to her MLM demands.

You're doing great -- separating finances, instructing bankers not to give her a loan, start documenting EVERYTHING -- when she left for the conference, your exact schedule of childcare during her absence, how many hours you've worked in her absence to feed and house the family, the money she has absconded from the family coffers for the MLM scheme, all the steps you've taken to ensure your family's financial and psychological well-being.

Hang in there Mykice...

We're all rooting for you.


----------



## iwantstrength

Plain and simple. Stop supporting her financially! Ask some help from your family and her family to enlighten her. If all else fails, don't ever give her your hard-earned money. If the MLM stuff are piling up in your house, help her in reselling or liquidizing them, but don't ever give her cash or allow her to have access to your bank accounts. If you need to open a personal account to ensure this and to protect your kids, do it. Best of luck.


----------



## Mykice

Thanks for the reply guys, its been a while since i went online because i have to get my stuffs out of the house. Here in the Philippines the law is different than the US. When a husband leaves because of domestic problems (monetary, differences except for bigamy ), the husband can leave freely and even forced out of the house. because here under the law women have more protection than us men. BUT the child support should be discuss or else. I am also at fault because i gave in and loose my temper that I yelled and said a lot of profanity words. to make matters worst she went to the police and have me sign a restraining order that i am not allowed to approach and talk to her and the kids. it is really frustrating and i found myself crying because i love my family and i hate myself for loosing my temper. My wife talks to me though but i could still feel the hate through every word that she texted me blaming me for our losses and miseries. I began to question myself should i have just gave in? or am i just to stupid to understand and maybe i was not so supportive when she needed me and to be honest when i was forced to move out of the house and stayed with my mother I saw a rope thinking i should just hang myself to end but i hesitated because of God and my children as well. my wife left me with nothing not a single centavo(Because here when it is a joint account the wife takes all of it unless she willingly surrender it to me) my pride and my manhood was shredded to bits. I approach my pastor a day ago asking for help because i think my wife and i couldn't settle this anymore on our own and we need help. It's almost Christmas here and i miss my children and i miss my wife. I text my wife about the counselling and i don't expect her to agree with me. My family told me that i am so stupid because i texted her and offer a counselling from our pastor, I should just leave her and just support our children. to be honest i cant do that even i tried i cant just abandoned them i love my wife and i love my children. should i go with this counselling or just let it slide and let time heal all wounds?" its hard here living alone my mom went to manila to spend Christmas with my siblings so im all alone here and missing my children. I don't usually cry but its very difficult. i am sorry for pouring my heart like this i am just so emotional right now.I haven't received any replies coming from here because of this Christmas party that our neighbor is throwing i mean how can she enjoy and not feel a single ounce of remorse of what happened between us and as for me, here i am looking miserable.


----------



## Blossom Leigh

Op, No wonder she thought she could get away with her actions, your laws there under gird her being able to do anything she wants and still come out on top. The behavior that caused her to get the restraining order was a BAD move. That is adding destruction to destruction. You will recover, but it will take time. I am glad you stepped away from the rope. Are you in contact with an attorney? How is the judge going to view her being gone for a month, stealing money from you and being away from your kids?


----------



## FormerSelf

Mykice, I am so sorry that you are going through this at the holidays. 

I know that you very much miss you family and your wife, but right now, she isn't the person you married anymore. I understand that you have been willing to meet her in the middle to make peace or reconcile, but she will take anything you give to use to her advantage and to win. You need to be prepared for the worst and not give her any trust...period.

You must be feeling really low right now. Just let go of everything you can't control. If you start having anxiety attacks...repeat the "serenity prayer": 

*God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.* 

Do what you must to take care of yourself and let the rest go. Let your wife go. It is really hard because you want everything to go back the way it used to be...but it is getting worse.

Actually you need to do everything in your power to separate yourself from your wife. Keep all you discussion BRIEF and business only. Stop trying to ask her to change her mind. You need to get out of the way and let God deal with her...because as long as you are trying to fix her, she will just blame you for everything. Leave her to deal with her own mess. You bailed her out too many times, so she doesn't know how to deal with consequences or know how to be told "no" and the MLM cult members have warped her perception to think you are being the dream killer. So stop being the dream killer. Cut her loose. Let her pursue her "dream"...and when you aren't there to help her next time, when the money is gone, when the MLM guys dump her because she doesn't have your income to tap into anymore...she may start to wake up. She has to feel the pain of her actions...that is the only way she may snap out of it.

This will get better, I know you are lonely and family is very important in the Philippines...but try to take the quiet time to get centered. You may actually start realizing that you are appreciating the solitude...that you aren't in the middle of your wife's crazy drama. When my wife kicked me out for a different kind of addiction that she chose (an affair), I had a real tough time, going from sad to angry to depressed. I felt out of control and that I was going to lose my mind. But after a couple of days of no contact with my wife and learning to center myself when I started freaking out, I actually started to be THANKFUL that she was out of my life! When our spouse is unhealthy and out of control...that just invites chaos and anxiety. Without her craziness around me, I was able to think clearly again.

No contact with wife...unless you are doing some business or otherwise. Keep convos brief. It looks like you lost a lot of legal leverage. Work with lawyer to see if there is some ground you can regain...especially under the light of wife's mismanagment of money...such as getting bank records of money she withdrew and also income (or lack thereof) that your wife earned from MLM. I am not a lawyer, so I don't know how this sort of stuff works...but do not give up. And DO NOT give anything freely to your wife...she won't care. She has gone over to the dark side right now.

This new year, start fresh. Let wife go. Be joyful for no reason. Be happy and motivated at work...leave your anxiety and depression at home. And when you are home, stay busy and stay positive. If you see your kids, stay positive...don't talk bad about their mother. Surround yourself with a lot of support and talk to your pastor whenever you can. See if there are divorce support groups and I would even consider a codependency group (as you have been in the habit of enabling your wife's addiction and you probably don't know who you are now that she's gone). 

It feels bad now, but it will get better...a little bit each day...as long as you DO NOT get sucked back into your wife's drama. Keep her at distance and do not let her pick a fight with you. She is the enemy...but just be calm, peaceful, and pleasant around her...BUT DO NOT TRUST HER...unless (maybe) one day she agrees to go to counseling and is willing to do EVERYTHING you ask to put the marriage back together. If she is not willing to do any of that...even one little thing...your answer is NO!!! For now, go through the divorce proceedings while fighting for your rights and not letting her fool you. 

My advice is very much what we would tell someone if their spouse was cheating. If you think about it, you wife is having an affair with this MLM...so cut her loose...and if she comes crawling back, you DECIDE if you want to or not and ONLY if she follows the steps of counseling and getting help. Be strong and do not falter.

This is going to be your best year ever.


----------



## happy as a clam

Mykice...

Just checking in to see how things are going. What's the latest?

Hoping things are looking up for you and your family in the New Year...


----------

