# Sneaking cc



## IRISH13 (Jul 28, 2010)

My wife and I have been married since 1997. It is 2nd marriage for both of us. After I started living with her but before we were married I noticed that she was juggling her credit cards and bills every month. I sat down with her and went over everything and it was obvious she simply did not have enough income for the amount of bills she had. I paid off some of her cards and told her she needed to stick to a budget and that the rest of the debt would go away if she stuck to it. A short time later we were married. I was responsible for the finances for about 7 years and we managed to buy a house and fix it up. I started traveling across country and would be gone from Sunday afternoon until Friday morning every week. My wife started paying the bills and taking care of the money since I was gone so much. We both started making more money and the only debt we had was our mortgage. No credit card, no car or any other type of debt. Looking over the savings account and what we were both earning we agreed that we would start looking for a new house to move to in about a year. We found a house and since I was still traveling my wife said she would handle dealing with the broker and the mortgage people to get everything setup. My wife told me we had to meet with the real estate and mortgage broker to sign some papers. I questioned her as to why we were going through a mortgage broker and not just dealing directly with the bank but she said she researched it and this was the best deal for us. I remember sitting with the two ladies and my wife and answering all of the questions. I told them our finances were simple and gave them a detailed sheet of our accounts, stocks and other assets. When I was asked about our debt I told her the only thing we owed was the current mortgage. She looked at me and said " That's it?" 
" Yes, that is it. We owe nothing else", I said. I signed the paper. My wife then told the brokers she would contact them tomorrow with the other paper work that they needed. A few weeks later my wife told me everything was set for us to move in 2 months. I them told my wife that this was really crazy but after looking at our finances that I felt we were in such great shape that we should take cruise before the move. I told her we had the money to do it from what I saw and that we would still have our emergency money and enough to do some initial projects on the new house. I said that I new it was crazy but that we should do it now since once we move we may not get the chance for quite some time. She agreed and started out planning the cruise. We went on the cruise. Spent all of the money budgeted for the cruise and had a great time. A few weeks later I sat at the closing table for the new house. The two broker ladies were there with a stack of papers as thick as a phone book. The lawyer was late and they told me just to wait as much of it was boiler plate and they had already went through it all with my wife and the lawyer would guide me through only the parts I needed to sign. The lawyer called and said he was going to be another 30 minutes so I picked up the papers and started going through it. The first thing I noticed was that the mortgage broker was getting about 10K and the terms of the loan were probably higher than I could get from my bank. I started asking about the terms and she said that that was the best she could do based on my credit report. I jumped to my credit report and saw a two page list of outstanding credit cards in my wifes name totaling about 50K. I had a meltdown. I had just been taken by my wife and these two leeching brokers who helped perpetrate a lie just to make money. I was trapped and they new it. My old house was gone and I had no place to go as there were already two moving trucks at the new house unloading all of my stuff. I got taken for 10K by the brokers and my wife used them to hide her credit cards through the process and never said anything while I was talking about a cruise that given the CC debt, we couldn't afford. I signed the papers and didn't talk to my wife for 2 months. I went and found all of the papers and found out she was paying out 1500+ a month plus to CCC and paying the minimum. 50K and there was nothing to show for it. I asked what it went to and got no answer. I told her I was taking the $15K emergency money and 10K we had earmarked for spending on the new place and was going to payoff the cards and that we were going to take out a 2nd mortgage for the other 25K. I did all of this and when I got back from the bank I told her based on our budget she would need to change her auto deposit at work from 2/3 of her pay going into the joint account to 100%. She refused. She argued that she needed to have her own money and was not going to do it. I pointed out that if she refused to do that I would have to contribute the rest and that I would have $0 left for my own account. She refused and said that paying off everything was my decision and that everyone had debt and that I was unreasonable. She never changed the amount. I contributed 100% of my pay to keep things going. 1 year later we got back about 1K on our taxes and it allowed us to take the kids to the beach for a week. 2 years later I was doing our taxes and was shocked to see on her W2 that she paid almost no tax for the year. I asked about it and she said she talked to her HR person about us getting so much tax money back last year and was told that if she increased he dependents she would get more in her check every week and we would not get back as much. We went from getting back 1K to owing 8K. I did not have the money and did not have the income to cover it. I asked her what she was doing with all the extra money and got no answer. I had to take odd jobs for a year and work all of my 5 week vacation time to pay the taxes off. Now a year later I finished paying off the 2nd mortgage. All I owe is the mortgage once again. Both our cars are 10 years old at this point so I decided to buy my wife a new car and surprise her. I saved up some money from what I had been paying on the 2nd mortgage and went and bought a car. I got a really good deal with 0.9% financing, that was until they called me to tell me that based on my credit score I could only get 2.9%. I had already given the dealer a large down payment and I didn't want to lose that so I bought the car but I applied for a credit report to see what was the issue. While I was waiting for the credit report my wife started joking to people in front of me that I was cheap and bought her the cheap model ($20K) when what she really wanted was the bigger model ($40K). I just got my credit report and it shows that while I was paying off my wifes credit cards and tax bill for the last three years she was running up a whole new set of credit cads for $20K+. I have no clue what she has spent this on. My head is in a very bad place right now and I am afraid to confront her as to what might happen. I am thinking about saying nothing and just start cutting everything as far back as I can and hiding money in a secret account until I have enough to just take off. Any suggestions?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

What a nightmare for you. I would be livid. One issue I see is that in order to get your own credit score and finances in order which is a good thing, you are bailing her out and she is not feeling any negative results for her financial negligence. I think you were on the right path by suggesting that she turn 100% to direct deposit but she is not on board as a financial partner...opening new accounts after directly lying to you about the new house loan issues and increasing her dependents on her w-4 is all very sneaky and her way of continuing to live above her means and outside of the budget...your financial situation is like a bucket with a hole in it until she gets on board.

She obviously has a different view on debt than you do...she is fine with having it and you are not. What I don't understand is how she is opening credit cards in your name? Your credit report should be completely separate from hers & I would consider having credit cards separate from hers. If she is taking credit against joint assets that have your name on them, that will affect your score.

You may want to consider a credit monitor...I have one and they notify me of any change in my credit report...it helps with fraud, identity theft but in your case at least it will help you monitor your own credit....you could also give her an ultimatum to do the same so you get notified whenever hers changes...opens a new credit card, etc. At least you will have some protection while you decide what to do going forward.


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## Mal74 (Dec 24, 2009)

I think you should file for divorce on Monday. You are married to a habitual liar and a selfish cheat who has no respect for you or your marriage.

Is that really what you think you deserve?


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Mal74 said:


> I think you should file for divorce on Monday. You are married to a habitual liar and a selfish cheat who has no respect for you or your marriage.
> 
> Is that really what you think you deserve?


I agree and also think you should inquire how to disconnect finances/credt everything immediately. 

You're nuts. 100%. Lie after lie after lie. You take the responsibility for the irresponsible over and over again. Dont know how old you are but you seem pretty able to earn. Why not have the things and life you want in stead of funding god only knows what? I lost count of how much money YOU pissed away. 
Get away from her ....as FAST as you can,


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## fairy godmother (Jun 10, 2010)

Oh, so sorry to hear about your situation! My ex talked me into cosigning on a 34k car that we didn't need, and all the time living in an apartment. He said with his new job we would be able to afford it. Shortly after we separated and I had to file for bankruptcy because I couldn't afford to pay it off, a car payment of over $600. Yikes. Now, I'm newly married again and my DH has some debt maybe 10k and I have a horrible credit record for like what 5-10 yrs! Still living in the same apartment but things are looking up now with less of an erratic spender like my ex. Best of luck, you've got great money sense...loss the liar/cheat!


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