# Newly Separated Miss my Wife :(



## mzildjian (Jun 10, 2013)

Hi Peoples, this is my first thread.
I have been with my wife for 17 years and she has just left me. We have 3 kids aged 8, 7 and 2. The separation is all my fault, I would come home from work hear the wife yelling at the kids so would go and hide in my mancave. I have become less involved the last 2 years and would often work 12 hour days, so when i got home I could not handle the noise and mayhem.
Basically I am lazy.
Now that I am in our family home bymself I have found the motivation to cook, clean, generally keep busy but this is not enough to cure my heartbreak. I have been diagnosed with depression and need sleeping pills to sleep at night.
Do you think my wife will see the difference in me and will she care thats the million dollar question.
Is there anything I can do to reconcile or am i better off just leaving it be. She says I need to acept the fact that i cant change things, but she is my J

Matt


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## Northern Monkey (May 2, 2013)

It's great you are finding motivation to do things. The big thing is to do these things even though they moat likely won't get her back.

In the vast majority of cases, when a woman says they are done, they are done.

Keep making the changes you need to but, do them for yourself not her. 
There is a chance she will see the changes but if she sees you doing it for her, why should she believe they would last once you had her back if it was to happen?

You need to be willing to go on without her to have any chance of doing it without her.

She is right, you cannot change het mind. All you can change is you. From there, whether she comes round or not is up to her.


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