# I have been there! Life after - Mourning does end!!!



## manindespair (Jun 20, 2014)

You know, 18 months ago I was a wreck!!!! Weak... hurt... insecure... crying... hopeful... willing to do anything to save my relationship as it was the best relationship anyone could have! I would do anything to save what i believed to be 'a mistake' that risked my entire being!

I posted on many occasions and got some home truths from people like Gus Polanski etc.... but mine was different and I knew I was right and everyone else was wrong! We were in love.... once the 'fog' lifted I knew we would get it back!!! These 'a-holes' dont have a clue what my wife was like, or my life or my kids! 

And the KIDS.... wow.... I would do anything to save them from the hurt!

IF you read one thing about this post (which I hope you do), please believe me..... IT HURTS EVERYONE and nothing you do can save the kids from their feelings! You will be strong and even though everyone on this site is wrong about my relationship, the kids, family, parents, individuals will go through HELL!!!

Can it work.... YES... you can get your other half back!

So my story... easy... I was 38 or so and so was my wife! 3 kids 19, 17 and 7... they were my world and I couldnt live without giving it a go. my wife wasnt so bad, she cheated with a guy from the gym but was a mistake.... I KNEW she loved me! She would come back!

AND I WAS RIGHT.... I waited 18 f'in months for her to realise that she wanted me and now she does....!!! YAY:grin2:

LIKE ****

YEs she wants me but the two faced cheating ***** can continue to **** her drug dealers and anyone else! Do I care??? YES.... can I change it NO - Like **** can I!!!

Mine was different...we were in love! We all say the same but once you have mourned you realise that actually that trust has gone... too hard to get back!!!

I was worried I would be on my own! No.... they come from everywhere and I dont consider myself a catch but women do! They know the real you better than you know yourself and they see it! 

At the moment you are insecure and worried you wont make it! It will be hard but day by day u will learn what you have lost about yourself! 

Your confidence will come back... it will hurt... you will mourn! You will miss and you will do anything to get back what you lost! BUT... YOU ARE A CATCH!

you wont know until you know... but one day... trust me... you will be happy and confident again.

Is it all good for me.... like ****! Xmas is round the corner and I am still taking one day at a time! But I am ok....

And so will you be x


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Good post. So have you commenced divorce?


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## manindespair (Jun 20, 2014)

yeah.... long time ago! 

The one thing I can say is when you do you are scared to the bones... you hope it doesnt go through and your cheating other half expects you to pull out!!!

By the end.... you just cant wait to move on!

Remember you Bandit.... Thanks for your posts in those days!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

So what's the status on the divorce?


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## manindespair (Jun 20, 2014)

Well I am in the UK... Agreed financials and waiting on Decree Nisi (any day now). Then 6 weeks to apply for absolute!

I know that my ex wants me not to go through with it but I will be honest... I gave every opportunity to put me as her priority.... she never did!!

Thats a life I could never lead!

I have had many opportunities to enjoy the opposite sex but put my kids as my priority! Through it all I built a massive friendship with someone going through the same as me.... never did anything about it but have to say now we are both moving in that direction!

One thing I really believe.... the cheaters are the needy ones... they need something! Attention or affection but actually all they need to do is communicate what they are missing.... they never do!


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

So on the other side I guess we will use a lot of "!"...I can't wait....dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Yes, I agree the cheaters are the needy ones-- they are unhappy malcontents that expect others to provide their happiness. No one can fill their bill, however. I am divorced about a year and a half or more from d-day. Yes, there are lots of women out there. Sadly, most are divorced and have similar stories as my ex would tell about me. I was lucky enough to find a special lady of my own and am happy Again. Still wish I'd never married my ex, or even met her. But I'm happy. Thought I never would be again.

Good post. Apparently once they flip the switch, it never hits the on oisition again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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