# women who went back



## KRinOnt

Ladies, if you left your husband and children for another life and another man, did you come back? Is there anyone out there that did what they truly felt they had to do only to eventually regret it? I am so worn down by so many sad stories of people who were abused, moved on, can't bring themselves to leave etc. There have to be some happy stories don't there?


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## KRinOnt

Well I guess I have my answer. Apparently it never works out. Great.


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## Zulu

Well, I was hoping to look at the same answer, but realisticly, they do not. So hoping that mine will but know she will not. Just tears me up that she is with someone else, still love her so much but she has chosen her path and it is with out me. I still pray that God help her have a change of heart.


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## rome2012

I'm sorry, you didn't get the answer you were hoping for yet.....

I would want to ask the same question the other way around...

My husband is leaving me mainly because I screwed up (finances) and didn't show him I cared enough to change....

We're parting as (best) friends and I'm hoping we'll find together again after some time has passed and he realizes I've changed....

I hope and pray he'll fall in love with me again !!!!

I would take him back in a heart beat !!!!!!

I think there's always a chance ....

Try to understand why she left and then try to change your behavior....but only if you agree that your behavior was wrong....

I realized that my doing and not doing has ruined our marriage and I realized that I am not who I wanted to be....

The divorce threat has opened my eyes and I know I want to change now....and I'm working hard on it...

If it's God's will we will be together again and if not then I will know I've done everything I could to turn my life around !!!!!

Wish you the best of luck !!!!!!


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## marksaysay

_Posted via Mobile Device_I'm currently going thru a similar situation due to several years of neglect and a pornography addiction. After 10 years of marriage, she says she had enough. While I so don't want this divorce, she seems so content. Im so mad at myself for letting it get to this but it's something I think is necessary for me to make some changes. I pray for another chance to show her that I can and will change. I may get it but I may not....


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## KRinOnt

My friends (and hers) seem to think it's a 50/50 proposition with my wife. They all agree the tool she's living with will not last, but that doesn't mean it will fix our problems. To me it's about how badly she misses her relationship with our children. We are a package deal. If she wants to live with them again she will have to try with me. She chose to leave all of us and this is a family decision. She comes back to the entire family or not at all.


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## Crazytown

I am not sure if I would say I have the happiest story but I have posted before about my reconciliation with my husband. He was verbally and emotionally abusive for years and years. I left him. I bought my own place and dated. So did he. I had a lot of casual relationships during this time and one serious one that lasted an entire year.
After about 2 years of him begging for me back and me telling him to "move on already, I don't want you"...well something happened. I had a major life event (shall we say) and HE was the only one there for me. We started sloooooooooooooowly dating and almost a year later he moved into my house. We are in counseling. Things are not perfect or even great but they are ok... We have a child together so I am willing to compromise on more.


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## KRinOnt

Crazytown said:


> I am not sure if I would say I have the happiest story but I have posted before about my reconciliation with my husband. He was verbally and emotionally abusive for years and years. I left him. I bought my own place and dated. So did he. I had a lot of casual relationships during this time and one serious one that lasted an entire year.
> After about 2 years of him begging for me back and me telling him to "move on already, I don't want you"...well something happened. I had a major life event (shall we say) and HE was the only one there for me. We started sloooooooooooooowly dating and almost a year later he moved into my house. We are in counseling. Things are not perfect or even great but they are ok... We have a child together so I am willing to compromise on more.


Would it be intrusive to ask what that major life event was? If it's too personal I understand, but there is the protection of anonymity here. I know I would be there for my wife of she needed me. I think she knows that too.


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## southernbelle

I am somewhat in this situation now...My husband and I are trying really hard to put out marriage and lives back together. I never physically moved out but emotionally I had checked out at least a year ago...maybe closer to two that I actually gave up. 

It's been hard and I'm sure we aren't over the hump as yet...but I really think we will be ok. For now I may not be madly in love with him like he says he is with me, but I'm content and I like him more all the time...which is good considering a year ago I couldn't stand to even look at him.


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## Crazytown

KRinOnt- I'll tell you. I ended up needing to go to rehab for alcoholism. My boyfriend dropped me like a lead weight (he's an alcoholic too) and only my ex-husband was there for me. He picked up the pieces of my life. He drove me there after I told him I loved the other man. He took care of my house, bills, kids (one isn't even his), contacting my work etc. 

And since my post about 2 months ago, I am happy to report I am very much back in love with him!


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## the guy

What an awsom guy, Crazytown.

Sorry for the highjack


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## helpplease

I honestly don't know if I could take my wife back. I would always feel like I was a second choice. That would really bother me. I would also have such a hard time knowing that she left, carried on intimate relationships with people and decided that screwing around was not worth it.
Maybe it is a pride thing but I would feel like I was such a "tool"
And who's to say she will not just destroy me again.


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## KRinOnt

Crazytown said:


> KRinOnt- I'll tell you. I ended up needing to go to rehab for alcoholism. My boyfriend dropped me like a lead weight (he's an alcoholic too) and only my ex-husband was there for me. He picked up the pieces of my life. He drove me there after I told him I loved the other man. He took care of my house, bills, kids (one isn't even his), contacting my work etc.
> 
> And since my post about 2 months ago, I am happy to report I am very much back in love with him!


I'm very happy for you. Right now, if my wife came back begging I'd turn her awayat the door. Just a few short months ago that's all I wanted, but now? Not a chance.


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## Talias

Mark-I am in a similar situation: for the last few years in our 9 yr marriage, I was consumed by my job. It was very high-stress, with long inconsistent hours. Also, I had a couple moments of indiscretion while intoxicated (once made passes at a couple of people, and once running my mouth at a party about another woman's, um, endowment... 

Since the "talk" about an impending separation, I have completely quit drinking. I even dumped out all beers from the fridge...in front of her. I have said repeatedly that I don't want to lose her, but she's seemingly emotionless, like she's already grieved for our marriage. I'm hoping this will turn around, but am stuck in limbo waiting for her. I will continue to do so as necessary...but it hurts just the same!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KRinOnt

On Nov 26th I wrote a heartfelt letter to my wife asking her to consider a reconciliation. I felt I needed closure. I needed to know I had done done everything possible and I could now move on. Her response was "I still love you, but not enough or at least not in the right way". That's that I thought.
Yesterday I checked her e-mail ( yeah, I know...but I need to protect myself). She had cleaned out her inbox and junk and deleted everything she didn't need...only keeping work related stuff...with one exception. She put my letter in a new folder she created....all by itself. She had to have done this Tuesday, the day after she spent the morning at the house with me and the kids exchanging Christmas gifts. WTF??


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## rome2012

KRinOnt said:


> On Nov 26th I wrote a heartfelt letter to my wife asking her to consider a reconciliation. I felt I needed closure. I needed to know I had done done everything possible and I could now move on. Her response was "I still love you, but not enough or at least not in the right way". That's that I thought.
> Yesterday I checked her e-mail ( yeah, I know...but I need to protect myself). She had cleaned out her inbox and junk and deleted everything she didn't need...only keeping work related stuff...with one exception. She put my letter in a new folder she created....all by itself. She had to have done this Tuesday, the day after she spent the morning at the house with me and the kids exchanging Christmas gifts. WTF??


Maybe a change of heart ?!?!?

Christmas is a very sentimental time and she might just realize what she'd be losing now....

What would you do if she'd want to come back now ???


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## marksaysay

Talias said:


> Mark-I am in a similar situation: for the last few years in our 9 yr marriage, I was consumed by my job. It was very high-stress, with long inconsistent hours. Also, I had a couple moments of indiscretion while intoxicated (once made passes at a couple of people, and once running my mouth at a party about another woman's, um, endowment...
> 
> Since the "talk" about an impending separation, I have completely quit drinking. I even dumped out all beers from the fridge...in front of her. I have said repeatedly that I don't want to lose her, but she's seemingly emotionless, like she's already grieved for our marriage. I'm hoping this will turn around, but am stuck in limbo waiting for her. I will continue to do so as necessary...but it hurts just the same!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have to correct my original post or atleast clarify that one from back in October. I've since found out that she'd had an affair and that she has since turned into someone I don't even recognize anymore. She's in the "fog" as is pretty ticked that I won't just lay down and let her have the divorce she wants. I'm content on fighting for now. I'm not ready to give up just yet.


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## KRinOnt

rome2012 said:


> Maybe a change of heart ?!?!?
> 
> Christmas is a very sentimental time and she might just realize what she'd be losing now....
> 
> What would you do if she'd want to come back now ???


I'd tell her to take a hike.


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## rome2012

KRinOnt said:


> I'd tell her to take a hike.


Don't hit me  but why are you still checking her email then ??? 

What do you need to protect yourself from ???

I can't remember...has divorce been filed yet ???


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## KRinOnt

rome2012 said:


> Don't hit me  but why are you still checking her email then ???
> 
> What do you need to protect yourself from ???
> 
> I can't remember...has divorce been filed yet ???


We'd have to be legally seperated for a year before divorce filing can proceed. I just keep an eye on her to make sure she isn't planning any BS with regards to child custody and the like. I checked her email this last particular time because my stepson told me she had brought up the letter to him. I was more curous than anything.


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## turtle10

why is it a big deal she saved your letter? maybe she is "cleaning the slate" and saving your letter as a new start? or maybe she wants to see atrend with your correspondence? i think, u have to get to 'the place' where u truly love her (if u really do) and that means allowing her to make her own choices, including how to manage emails. I cannot recommend enough a book i am reading called Mainfesting Change by Mike Dooley. it is life changing.


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