# Son's wife



## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

I do not know if i am posting in the correct board but here goes. 

My son has been married to this person for 5 years. His brothers did not like her neither did his father or I but we tolerated her for his sake.

I have spoken to my son about how he reacts to her bad attitude in others presence and told him to take their problems to his home not have their issues aired at mine. She calls him names of bastard, an SOB the list could go on. And still we treated her with kindness. She refuses to work and when my so her husband was injured and had back surgery she would not help him with even getting out of a chair. She even pushed him 2 days after surgery. While this was taking place there was no idea when he would or if he would be able to return to work. During this time his father and I took care of them financially with everything. My son even said to her she needed to find work because we could not keep taking care of them. She never did.

She lies in everyone, and he will act as if it is truth when others know it is a lie. She will lie and get son mad at one of his other brothhers because she doesn't like them. Still I have tolerated. 

To this day she has not referred to me or my husband by name. We are only referred to as his parents. I feel this is disrespectful. Only one of my sons are married. She has said to everyone on multiple occasions she will be the only female in this family. She has even told Son's friends that I do not discuss this with that she is going to get rid of me.

So last September she has found a way to get to my husband and one of my other sons. She can do no wrong. I suspected h was having an affair and she and so, informed husband of my suspicions after I received information that one of my sons was assisting him in his affair. She got in my sons eat and so did husband and he was disrespectful to me. The three of them got together and act like I am the one that betrayed him. Now my other son has become drunk with her lies. My son told me not to work to her again. I haven't spoken to her since September.

Now when son comes around I speak only when spoken to I answer with only yes or no. She doesn't speak to me so I do not have to respond to her. Needless to say my husband, her and my son act like they 're this perfect family. She follows husband around he likes her now and acts like she hung the moon. I suppose it is because she kept him from getting caught with physical evidence. My son says I need to change my attitude. I do not go to the garage where they all hang out I do not insert my self into their get togethers. I do not go running out the door when they come by like my husband. But I need to be friendlier with her, I need to make more of n effort. I feel like I made many efforts over the years and she has never made one. She can't even say my name. I do not go to their home never have except when he His back surgery, she doesn't want us there. But in my home I do not see my longer that I have to make any more special accomidations for her or my son for that matter. I am sick of being turned on, disrepected and treated like I should not be at my own home when she is here that I should leave. I 've made that accomidation also and decided this is my home I am not doing that any longer. I also stopped preparing meals for them 7 days a week because she is to lazy and my son not wanting to spend money on food. Time to grow up. Husband says I turning my back on son. I feel like I am taking care of ME for a change and letting them all dote on her and she be the only female.

Am I wrong?


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

yes


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## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

should go back to preparing meals for them every night and accomidate her every demand. (they do not live with me) Demands I do not allow my adult children to place on me but to continue because she is his wife? When she goes and gets a credit card and purchases a huge television give them money so they can go out,to eat if the meal I prepare is not what she wanted? When funds are limited in my household to continue to be used and manipulated by her and my son because I do not have the finances to take care of two households. When there isn't things to give she lies and gets the rest of my children angry because she is good at manipulating them into me being horrible to her. When I haven't said one word to her since September. She wants me to leave I am not giving up my home that I have paid for. She wants to live here with my son, his brother, and my husband.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Hell no, you're not wrong!

That "little delicate flower" of a son of yours and his "ballsy bastard wife" have both got to learn to grow up sometime in life! Seems to me like he's more than preeminently "PW'd!"

Ashamed that neither of them ever quite learned that lesson at home when they were growing up!*


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## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

My husband keeps catering to son and I know why because son has information about his dad's indescressions and the two of them son and his wife were helping him hide it from me. I had gotten info that one of my sons knew and was helping his father. This gave me the proof of which son it was.

She even started a rumor with the new neighbors that moved in in November that we are drug dealers. My sons, husband know that she started this and act like it is all ok because that is how she is. No it is not acceptable. She needs to be called out on her carp but no one does. So she continues to get worse. 

I would tell her her actions are not appropriate and those were my words. I say the same thing to my own children of need be. But since she doesn't like it she has now gotten the rest of them believing that her actions are excusable.

(i needed actual proof of the affair to get alimony)


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Wow!

Such drama. Drama with Momma having no backup.

Get backup. Invite YOUR friends over.. a lot. 

When husband and obedient boys and Witch come over....bring your friends. 

They party in the garage...you party in the living room. You make a feast for your friends. So, sorry....not enough goodies for garage crowd.

Do not fight with them, be cool and smile. Make them small potatoes. They are "nobody". Not worth getting excited about.

Turn the tables on them....do so with a smile.


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## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

I do not go to their area. I do my own thing. They don't bother me. I do know that the relationship between the son and his dad will burn out and he will come to try and tell me things that took place.

What ears me up is son when he does say something he will say I need to end my "beef" with his wife. I have no beef I am just not kissing her ass any longer and then his dad will say to me for no reason. I know you hate her. Well if I am so horrible and hate her and so mean the fat ass needs to keep away from my home. 

I don't waste my time with them and now they are making comments like those when I keep clear of her I don't speak to her but she has never spoken to me first. They are manipulating things to make me seem at fault because his dad has stopped giving him so much and they think it is because of me. NOT. 

What I am afraid of is I keep quiet and there is going to be one comment or facial expression and I may lose it. Then she will have said see she is mean to me. When in fact she says things under her breath so others can't hear her.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Greatly sounds like your DIL needs to feel all of the "speech and phonetics" from someones size 15 Brogan steel-toed boot in a swiftly administered kick right up her backside!
*


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## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

I have tried So hard because I know if I do not watch actions that this can cause problems between me and my son. However she and my son keeping and helping him see another woman has caused problems for me and him. That was the straw for me. 

I must admit putting a boot in her has crossed my mind. Her own parents have very little to do with her because he mother said she is a LIAR and manipulator. I kept sticking up for the girl and her mother's words ring my ears very often. She will get to confident and each one will ditch her at a time.


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## Sunny3 (Apr 25, 2017)

Get your husband on board wether he agrees with you or not that their **** WILL be left at your door when you welcome them in. There is no need to make it a dramatic thing when you approach the subject or anything, be stern not mean. It's your house!!! Tell them it's okay if they fight but don't do it at get togethers in your home. It is their relationship not everyone else's! It needs to stay that way. Do not tolerate the negativity and do not get sucked in because it does not sound like she will be in the picture forever. Put your foot down and keep it there and have your husband back you up! Do not let someone who will eventually be a memory ruin your relationship with your family. Never let her make you and your husband prisoners in your own home. Welcome them whenever you can and if they start up at your home again ask them to please leave the room. If they do not then tell them that they are not dating you and this is your home. Tell them politely that they can leave your home and come back when they figure it out!

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## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

Husband will not get on board with me. He has drunk her poison and is being as big of a dumbass as son is. He will not get on board because 1. He never has backed me up with anyone. 2. She has info that will help provide me with proof of his affair. He will not risk that. He will get not in the ass by them soon enough


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Well!

This is so simple. 

I count six butt cheeks [one pair per] that need to be booted. Husband, Son, Daughter in Law. 

To the Moon they go, first to the curb [on the first bounce], then to a Lunar landing. The Dark Side of the Moon, their plump bums be placed.

Out they go, The whole lot of them.


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## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

I make a conscious effort not to place myself with them so that I do it have to listen to how unreasonable I am being. Husband and I were discussing medical issues of one of our sons and put of the blue he says we all know you hate her. But he had been with them most of the day.

Then son asks a question and I answer even though it was non of his business his wife didn't like it and in a matter of less than 10 minutes of him being alone with her I need to change my attitude that I need to get over how I feel about his wife. I said nothing about her or to her this was a conversation about me personally and when he said this out of my presence, his father said you know how she (me) is. It was son being nosy in my business but her upset that he was engaging with me. 
Instead husband should have said this had nothing to do with her why does she care and why is she upset over nothing involving her. 

I just dnt seem to figure out how she manages to get them to be so stupid and over look her trouble making. When she told the neighbors we are drug dealers something should have been done about that but it is ok because it is her but if I say nothing I get grief for not kissing her ass. That comment can have serious consequences even though it is a lie I still have to live in this house next to the neighbor..


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## Sunny3 (Apr 25, 2017)

How much proof does your lawyer need? Also I am sorry about your husband, I misunderstood what you were saying. This woman sounds like our daughter. I like her but she hates me and tries to manipulate certain situations. Catch him! Hire a pi or a friend to go undercover with these people. Check his phone and computer while he's asleep. Take back your home from these toxic people. You do not have to be pleasant with this woman and do not even think that you do!!!

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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Don't bother waiting for your family to give you proof. They don't seem to care about you.
Hire a private investigator if you must have a different kind of proof.

STOP doing all else.

1. STOP cooking for them! Absurd!
2. STOP giving them money.
3. STOP having sex with your cheating husband.
4. STOP allowing all these men and that witch to treat you like a lesser person.

You are the wife and mother. Where is the respect for you? It's time it be received. Stop doing everything for them, and let them feel what it is like without all your help and hard work. The second the PI gets you proof, get out of there.


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## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

Oh I have STOPPED all those things. And this is the disrespect I have received. I have checked checked all those things I even have some GPS logs. But photos or the method in which he was communicating with here is needed. He I using an app I can't find. The affair with this person ended in October. It is just a matter of time before he finds someone else. The alimony would not be an issue if it were just me. However, with us having a son that has brain damage, the lawyer says with proof he would have to help with the support of our son. That is what I care about. The PI not one in our area the ones that are out of my area I cannot afford. Friends do not want to get involved. 

I just felt like maybe I am looking at things wrong since I am being told as I feel to kiss her ass. How many times am I suppose to keep putting up with her causing problems in all my family relationships. She even sends inappropriate text photos that are found in the internet but it is suppose to be alright since she copied my son first. No it is not. But all this will end up being a situation for all of them the dynamics they are creating. I have said this is inappropriate and she can only message with emergency, relevant information but the porn has to stop.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Hmm, I wonder how long before your husband starts sleeping with your daughter-in-law? Harsh, I know, but it is the first thing that comes to mind.

Have you checked the cell phone logs? Are you able to get his phone from him (say, when he is asleep), and snoop/take screenshots of his communications with the OW?


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

I think my head just exploded. I'm not sure that I'm following all of this. There's a lot of drama going on. Of course, they're not going to like that you stopped giving meals, giving money, etc. You're their doormat and now that you're saying "enough is enough", they're going to throw little fits. Just keep redirecting your focus onto yourself. You really shouldn't be that in involved with their business any ways. 

If you want to have a relationship with your son though, you're going to have to be nice to her. She's the ticket to him, like it or not.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Oh my lord, I couldn't live with this amount of drama!!! Cut them loose already.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

I don't understand. Your daughter in law is following your husband around like he is the moon? Is she the one he had an affair with?


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