# Week one and a new week



## Shorty619 (Dec 15, 2010)

I posted about my trial separation from my husband of 7 years, and partner of 10 over a week ago, and just wanted to give an update....


So it's been over a week now since he moved out (it was one week on Sunday). Last night I finally slept in my bed for the first time, it was a big accomplishment for me, I've been sleeping on the couch since the day he left. I bought a new alarm clock, moved the bed up against the wall, washed my comforter, and cleaned my room. 

I also saw him yesterday. We texted back and forth earlier in the day about just random stuff like how the Jets won their game on Sunday and he was gonna go and buy a shirt to represent for their next game. That was pretty much it. Yesterday I had a dentist appt, then I went to wash my car, had some lunch, and walked around the mall and got a mini massage at those cheap massage booth places. Then I got home and was getting ready to make some dinner. Then he texted me and asked me what I was up to. I told him just home chillin'. He asked if he could swing by. I said yes of course. When he got there I asked him how he was and if he wanted to pick up some stuff or something. He said no, he just wanted to stop by and see me. I invited him to stay for dinner, so he stayed for a couple hours, we just had dinner, watched a little TV and chatted a bit. He told me about his housing situation, and how he felt like things may not work out with his new roomate cuz she was so dirty and messy and had a dog that ****ted everywhere, so he may start looking for somewhere else to go real soon. Then we talked about his family for a bit and he called his brother but he didn't answer. He said his mom and brother hadn't called him, which I figured as much, but that he'd call them later on and talk to them. He hugged me for a bit and asked if I missed him, I told him do you really have to ask. He said, I know I'm sorry. So I asked him if he missed me. He said of course, he wouldn't have asked to stop by if he didn't. We did kiss momentarily, but nothing else. We then set a time for us to go on our first "date". We will be going this coming Saturday to dinner and a movie. Also, our 7-year wedding anniversary is coming up on January 31st. I asked him if he wanted to do anything to observe it in any way. Regardless of the situation we are in right now, it seems like an important thing to do. He said yes he would like that, so we'll probably go see another movie that weekend. Then we said our goodbyes, we hugged a couple more times, and I told him I'll see you Saturday and off he went. I know to many it may seem like a stupid thing to do for me to let him come over, but I honestly don't care what anyone might think. It felt like the right thing, and I'm glad I did. There was a tear that welled up when he asked me if I missed him, but no tears when he left. As I watched him walk down the stairs from the apartment, I was ok. I was able to close the door behind me, and just go back to watching some TV and jumping on the computer. In a weird way, I was actually able to more easily move myself into the bedroom and onto my bed.

I won't be contacting him this week. I will continue to give him the space, and will wait until Saturday. Well maybe I'll contact him Friday to find out what time we're meeting, but that's about it. I'm starting to become more comfortable with this idea of 'dating' each other. Of course the plan is not to go on like this forever, there will eventually be a resolution in a few months. But for the time being, I think this may be good for us. Continue to reconnect just seeing each other periodically and communicate occasionally via text, and attempt to see if there truly is a connection there for us as we are physically apart, enough to bring us back together as a married couple under the same roof.

I also had my first appointment with my new counselor on Sunday. Besides a snag with the meeting time, she so far seems to be a very nice and caring person. My next appointment with her is next Sunday. This first session was just to basically give her a history of what is going on with me, and what I actually want to get out of the counseling. She thought I was there to figure out what to do about my marriage, but that is actually not the reason I'm there at all. My true reason for counseling is because I want to truly learn more about myself. There is a type of person that I do and don't want to be, and my hopes is that she can help me figure out what I can change in my life and in myself to get to that point where I am truly happy with who I am. My thought is that once I can figure that out, I'll be able to truly assess how I will proceed with my relationships, current and future.

All in all, I'm actually feeling hopeful today. Hopeful for life in general. Hopeful that even my marriage doesn't end up working out in the end, that I will still be OK in the future.


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## hopemom (Dec 22, 2010)

Good for you, I only learned 4 weeks ago that my husband of 27 years wants out, so I am not doing that well yet. I too am heading to counseling for myself. We have not told anyone yet, not our grown kids, friends or sisters. We need to work out some details. He is still in the house, so I am hopeful too. Best of luck to you


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