# Why did he not tell me???



## 1lostintranslation (Apr 10, 2012)

So I am engaged to be married here later this year. I met my hun last year at the end of October fell in love rather quickly. Started doing overnights (all together we have 5 kids), decided to move in together he moved from a town an hour away and commutes each day. Long story short we became pregnant mid January, got engaged mid February, and it just seems like things have gone so fast paced and it's not working. I admit I have been rather moody due to me being preggo, but we are both edgy. We both work full time, have kids, both of us go to school full time. Needless to say it has been a challenge. I have several issues. I have grown to resent the way we talk to eachother, resent the fact that I am now pregnant, things are just so crazy now. I also have trust issues thinking he is cheating. I know he promises this has never happened. However back in Dec/Jan. I looked at his phone and noticed his ex fiancee he had been talking to back and forth a few times. She would call and he would return the phone call. Each call was about 7-8 minutes. I confronted him. He stated on the last call he told her about me and that was the end of that. What really hurts is that although he knew this wasn't right he decided to hide it instead. The end result the girl showed up at his job in January trying to get back with him. Which he did tell me about that. So stemming from that I don't trust him. It doesn't help that he now has put passwords on his email & text messages on his phone. Not sure to cut my losses before the upcoming wedding or to give it a shot. He is a great guy, but things are rough right now. 
!


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## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

Not sure if he really cheated, maybe he didn't. But not sharing passwords, cell phones, keeping texts password protected are not normal behaviors for either spouse. So unless he is willing to share...and you as well....I would not get married, yet.

_-- Sent from my Palm Pixi using Forums_


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Mmmm...

Can you discuss with him openly?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Bad way to start a M, secrets will destroy a marriage. Transparentcy is a most.

Is he willing to give up his privacy?


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Given that you're already pregnant and living with this guy, I think the horse is out of the barn. At this point, the marriage certificate is just a piece of paper.


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## harpongs (Apr 10, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> At this point, the marriage certificate is just a piece of paper.


Thats all it ever is.

Considering the marriage failure rate is probably around 80% which includes not only divorced couples but the "still intact" marriages where they're together for "the kids, or finances, or fear of starting over", the paper is worthless, because it's only as good as the ethics, morals, and standards of the people who signed it.


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