# Female Friends While Separated?



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Sorry - I'm all over the place today. Feeling of impending doom and all.

Separated one week - wife supposedly just wants a little space.

An old friend of ours - both my wife and I was chatting with me on FB. Was telling her about things. She asked if I wanted to meet for lunch, but I turned her down - didn't want to seem like a hyppocrite.

Now - I kind of regret it. It wouldn't have been an 8pm meeting at a bar - which might not end until 3am. Not a dark, secret place (down by the riverside - one of my wife's fave's).

And its a person we both know and respect - and a person who I think has genuine concerns for both of us and our marriage - unlike my wife's "friend."

Was this stupid to turn down an invite like this at a time when I really need a friend? Or is it just too dangerous emotionally for me to start getting close to other women while trying to hold my marriage together?


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

you are all over the place. What is wrong with talking with a friend? You can disclose whatever you want. If you don't want to talk about the marriage talk about the weather or jobs. I am not sure what the problem is..


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Friends of the opposite sex has been a touchy subject around my house lately.

And to clarify - what I regret is NOT meeting up with her for lunch. Having someone to talk to about my wife and marriage - a "friend of the marriage" - has been very, very important.

To be totally honest, I can just see my wife using me meeting any female anywhere alone as justification to further her behavior. Although I'm slowly starting to realize that she'll find that justification one way or another if thats what she wants to do.

Rough time adjusting right now. Wife claims we are separating to get space - my gut says she's just delaying the inevitable.


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Stop worrying about what your w will think. She doesn't deserve that now. Plus you are mind reading. A big no no. Niceguy, I've been where you are doing the mind reading or worrying about how she might perceive something is wrong. Do what you want. And do it now.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

LOL FA- I think we have said that a lot


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Just hard to not keep hanging on when you think there might still be a chance. Thanks guys.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Meeting someone for a lunch doesn't mean that you won't still be hanging on. It changes nothing. 

Have fun. Don't wait on your wife.


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Concur with CW. Niceguy not thinking about your wife's reaction is a good thing. It is not selfish or anything especially right now. If you worry about her reaction you won't act and you need to act for yourself. She thinks you are weak and indecisive, you need to be confident, etc. which means you don't care right now what she thinks.


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## Ash22 (Oct 21, 2009)

You need to start the ball rolling and you having lunch with another female just might do that! It might show her that hey she could really lose you!

Anyways its always a good idea to get perspective from the opposite sex. I have a few close male friends that I ask bc hey! I'm not a guy sometimes I miss things or read into it too much.

Different perspectives can help.


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