# just got seperated, don't know how to deal with it.



## mdc0923 (Aug 11, 2012)

me and my wife of 10 years just got seperated, i'm 29 and she is 28. we do have two kids, 8 and 10. we had become distant from each other, but at the same time life has been tough. i have tried real hard to make her happy but we argued A LOT, and i'm sure that was the problem. we had seperated once before and got back together. after we were back together she confessed that she cheated on me while we were together and the reason we seperated is i found out she was having video cybersex with a 17 year old. i found out and confronted her, gave her the option to stay with no trust or to leave. she chose to leave. now she is claiming i'm violent and she is emotionally battered. this is what hurts the most out of everything. since we have kids i wish we could be friends, but i don't see that happening anytime soon.

tbh i'm not looking for sympathy or even advice about my marriage, cause it is over. i just need advi ce/support on how i move on. i am lonely, i feel a void that i desperatly want to fill but don't know how. i only have one friend i can trust and she lives in another state, and to top it all off i'm unemployed. i'm looking for work and plan on going back to school.

what are the next steps to move on? how do i make friends? how can i go about getting real support? does anyone have advice on how to deal with all this?


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Follow the 180, its in my sig. It'll help you detach from her and move on.


----------



## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

what are the next steps to move on? 

The 180, as keko says, along with NC (no contact, aka going dark). It means cutting off all communication with her unless it is an emergency or urgent re: the kids. It isn't easy at first, but is THE ONLY WAY to begin to emotionally detach and begin to feel like yourself again.

how do i make friends?

Get out of the house. Go to meetup.com. Join the PTA or do something related to your kids' activities. Volunteer.

how can i go about getting real support?

Believe it or not, TAM is real support. Best around, for those of us regulars. Tell us more about what you need specifically, and we can help point you in the right direction. Read others' threads and post often, it really helps!


----------

