# Going on vacation with my STBX?



## Hanging on for hope (Mar 18, 2013)

So here is my other thread for a little history LINK

Anyway, by now I have gone through the sadness, depression, anger, and am pretty much getting to the acceptance. We had a trip booked and paid for to go to her best friends wedding down in mexico. If I cancel my portion I lose out on almost $1200. If someone goes in my place, they would have to pay my half, plus an extra $500 for the difference in airfare. 

I'm almost thinking it would be easier just to go and enjoy myself. Who knows, maybe it will be one last hurrah. If neither of us talks about the issues and goes with an open mind, it could be fun. Any thoughts?


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

Hanging on for hope said:


> We had a trip booked and paid for to go to her best friends wedding down in mexico. If I cancel my portion I lose out on almost $1200.


Technically you don't lose $1200, the money was already spent. You lose a trip but you're no richer or poor for not having gone. 



Hanging on for hope said:


> I'm almost thinking it would be easier just to go and enjoy myself


Go and enjoy yourself. No reason you need to spend any time with her. Switch the airline seats around so you're not together, and find a way to make the lodging work better- stay in someone else's room, or swap with someone else who is going alone, or if you have to sleep on a couch and just ignore her.

I wouldn't go to the wedding of course.

Plenty of other stuff to do.


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

Fun in the sun does sound good, and you don't have to engage with her -- just go for the beach and relaxation time for yourself and don't hang around her.


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## lost hunter (Dec 13, 2012)

I would go, and live it up. Let her see that you are fine, drink, flirt be merry. Enjoy yourself, do not worry about her. I would skip the wedding part though, that might be a rough thing to watch!


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Sounds like a bad idea to me. Fertile ground for heartache. Like being on vacation together might make her reconsider? 

Based on your wording, seems like you're thinking the two of you could have fun together, not just you going to have fun separate from her. Avoid the issues? Hmm.

I vote no. Oh, does she have an opinion on this, or haven't you talked about it?


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## Hanging on for hope (Mar 18, 2013)

maincourse99 said:


> Sounds like a bad idea to me. Fertile ground for heartache. Like being on vacation together might make her reconsider?
> 
> Based on your wording, seems like you're thinking the two of you could have fun together, not just you going to have fun separate from her. Avoid the issues? Hmm.
> 
> I vote no. Oh, does she have an opinion on this, or haven't you talked about it?


Yeah, we talked about it the other day. She was pretty indifferent. She's going to have fun no matter what. But yes, my thought was we COULD have fun together and who knows what would happen. It might just be that last little bit of hope in the back of my mind. Part of me wants to go and enjoy the sun, free booze, and free food. Part of me thinks I should just not even put myself through it. 

I thought I had my deal breaker question today. I flat out asked her if she had slept with anyone since our separation. If she had, then I knew I was definitely not going. She says she hasn't. But of course she asks "why, you think we're going to do something down there?" With all the free alcohol I don't know what would happen, I mean, we are still married and still attracted to each other. But I don't want to have to wonder where she's been. 

I'd probably be setting myself up for heartache because I don't think I can just have a good time with her and not want to be flirty. Thats just who we used to be.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Yeah, you have misgivings. Such a crapshoot it seems to me. She could rip you apart down there.


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