# Recurring sexual dream - What does it mean?



## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

I recently had another episode of a recurring sexual dream that I have been having for the past 20 years or so. I was hoping that some of you armchair psychologists might be able to help me figure out the meaning of these dreams.

So in these dreams, my wife and I are having sex. The location varies, sometimes it's our bedroom, sometimes it's a hotel room, sometimes it's some place we have never been before. The sex acts are varied, and part of our usual sexual lexicon, nothing too far out or unusual. In the room with us is always one of my wife's female friends or co-workers.

In each dream the female friend is nude, wearing glasses (whether they normally wear them or not), and holding a notebook or clipboard and taking notes. They ask my wife matter-of-fact questions about what we are doing. Examples might be "How does it feel when he does that?" or "What are you doing with your hand there?" or "Do you guys do that every time you have sex?", questions like that.

My wife always answers the questions, again very matter-of-factly. Sometimes her answers are very long and detailed. I never say anything.

The friends or coworkers never participate in the action, they just sit there, observe, and ask questions. These women are not always women I find physically attractive, nor are they always women that I have friendships with. Just friends and co-workers of my wife.

Obviously, over a 30-year marriage, we have had our sexual peaks and valleys, but in general our relationship and our sex life has been and continues to be very good.

I have done Google searches on meanings of dreams and have yet to find anything like these dreams. If anyone has any theories about this, I would appreciate your ideas.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

In the inner recesses of your mind, you might be an exhibitionist. Or, you may feel that your sexual activities are not up to par and questioning your abilities as a lover. Or your wife just talks a lot and you feel that she discusses your bedroom activities with other people. 

I never dream of having sex with my H. I am usually looking for him, trying to find him or hold on to him. I just had a 30 mins convo with DD about her dreaming of ants crawling on her and around her room. 

Keep a dream log and make notes of your though process when you have these dreams.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

tell me something of the two of you who is more clinical in their love making? and who is more passionate?


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## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

Count on me to be a cynic but while dreams serve a purpose in helping you process emotions you aren't able to do in your waking hours there generally is no inherent prophetic or future meaning. The images produced in your dreams are just bits and pieces of memories floating around in your brain. And if this scientific theory is correct what do you think you might be processing in those dreams? I have a theory but it's pretty obvious so maybe you could go first and see if it matches.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Girls tell their friends everything.
You are insecure about your wife's satisfaction in/with you and your intimate life.
You wonder how she really feels.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Do you actually remember what your wife says in these dreams? Just curious.

I've always felt that dreams are just your brain storing away memories and emotions, making synapses between the two for future referencing or recall. I don't think they serve any other purpose other than to store thoughts, emotions, and memories onto your brain's hard drive. Fear is a very strong emotion that your brain will tend to keep at the forefront of memory, therefore most dreams involve a fear of sorts. That will often cause them to recur, in my opinion.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

I don't know what your dream means, but next time, make sure you have the third person shut up with the questions and join in!


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Decorum said:


> Girls tell their friends everything.
> You are insecure about your wife's satisfaction in/with you and your intimate life.
> You wonder how she really feels.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Have you told your wife about the dreams? Have you asked her to tell you how she feels about your (possessive and plural use) sex life, even about the things that she has held back because she fears you might be hurt?

I'd suggest you take control of the dream next time and tell the woman taking notes to get out, and tell her friends to never come back either. It's your dream, and she has to do what you say.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

IMFarAboveRubies said:


> Have you told your wife about the dreams? Have you asked her to tell you how she feels about your (possessive and plural use) sex life, even about the things that she has held back because she fears you might be hurt?
> 
> I'd suggest you take control of the dream next time and tell the woman taking notes to get out, and tell her friends to never come back either. It's your dream, and she has to do what you say.


That would be lucid. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

I am definitely the more sexually adventurous of the two of us, but I would have a hard time deciding who is more passionate or clinical.

I have been telling her about these dreams for years.

I am certain my wife has shared details of our sex life with one or two of her closest friends, but probably not with her acquaintances and co-workers.

We are pretty open about our sex lives, and what we like, what is working and what isn't working. We talk about sex pretty often, and I would like to think if she is not satisfied with me sexually, she would tell me (she has told me things like that in the past, we have been married for almost 30 years and together having sex for 35 years). 

The only thing I can take away from these dreams is that at some level I'm seeking approval from her friends and acquaintances, or perhaps at some level, I feel like I'm competing with her friends for her attention and/or approval.

I'm not getting the reference to the donkey fetish???


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I had the most bizarre dream once. While dreaming that I could successfully attempt autofellatio, I discovered my penis was detachable. In my dream I got super excited because this opened up a wealth of possibilities that I could try with my wife. THEN I go to reattach my penis and it will NOT go back on. My dream quickly makes a segue into a nightmare as this really freaks me out to the point it wakes me up, at which time I have to get up to go pee anyway. 

As for the meaning behind my dream, I imagine it is my body's playful way of saying, "stop dreaming of autofellatio you stupid idiot, wake up, WE NEED TO GO PEE!"

Badsanta


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ask @MrNail
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

EVG39 said:


> Count on me to be a cynic but while dreams serve a purpose in helping you process emotions you aren't able to do in your waking hours there generally is no inherent prophetic or future meaning.


Agree for the most part. Particularly when dreams don't make any sense, as they often don't.

But this one is rather specific, and seems to me more like a bit of fantasy. Not all dreams are fractured bits of alternate realities, I don't think.

The fact that the co-worker/friend is naked, for one!

I'm not suggesting OP is fantasizing about something he wants to happen, necessarily, but... maybe to a certain degree.

Exhibitionist fantasies are pretty common, I think, no matter how we consciously feel about doing something like having sex in front of somebody. TBH, it's certainly something I could be excited about doing in a controlled environment (ie. somebody who wanted to watch) from a pure fantasy perspective. In real life, though, I don't think I would, or could. My wife would have to be the one to convince me to do something like that.


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

I intend to keep drilling down, especially this weekend when I get home from my business trip...

The other thing I came up with is that in the dream I could be feeling like my wife is not totally in the present and that she might be distracted and not 100% focused during our lovemaking. Generally speaking, I feel like she is 100% focused and in the present when we fvck, but the handful of times over the years when she has been distracted during sex, it made me feel really bad.

The dreams could be my way of trying to work these negative feelings out.


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