# What to do. Please help



## Purewhiteheart

I recently got married in July and in September my sister that hates me made up a big lie saying i cheated on my husband while he was in dubia. I never have been unfaithful to my husband since the day we met. Then a month later a random number calls me on ft and it’s a random guy which i do not know. I have nothing to hide so i show my husband and the guy acts like he knows me so that happens he thinks I’m cheating again. I’ve had this number since i was 12 i am 27 plenty of people have my number and plenty are people who i do not even know and don’t know me. He doesn’t trust me anymore and he mentally abuses me with horrible things he says. Movies, songs trigger him and he will ask me a question about my past and I’ve answered all his questions. But he continuously ask me again and again to see if my stories have changed. I don’t know what more to do. I love my husband. But he hates me.


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## Lance Mannion

Purewhiteheart said:


> I recently got married in July and in September my sister that hates me made up a big lie saying i cheated on my husband while he was in dubia. I never have been unfaithful to my husband since the day we met. Then a month later a random number calls me on ft and it’s a random guy which i do not know. I have nothing to hide so i show my husband and the guy acts like he knows me so that happens he thinks I’m cheating again. I’ve had this number since i was 12 i am 27 plenty of people have my number and plenty are people who i do not even know and don’t know me. He doesn’t trust me anymore and he mentally abuses me with horrible things he says. Movies, songs trigger him and he will ask me a question about my past and I’ve answered all his questions. But he continuously ask me again and again to see if my stories have changed. I don’t know what more to do. I love my husband. But he hates me.


Get your sister to reveal the dates on which you cheated then you give your husband your phone and have him look at the GPS data for your locations on those dates.


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## Purewhiteheart

That’s the thing. The whole time he left to dubia i was at home with my family. (I lived with my mom stepdad and my two youngest sisters) the sister that said this is on my dad side that lives in Vegas. She knew my husband left to dubia because i told her and my other sister which we share and our dad so they all knew he wasn’t here. My sister told him that the man came to the house.


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## StarFires

Your sister hates you and you still communicate with her telling her your personal business?


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## Lance Mannion

Purewhiteheart said:


> That’s the thing. The whole time he left to dubia i was at home with my family. (I lived with my mom stepdad and my two youngest sisters) the sister that said this is on my dad side that lives in Vegas. She knew my husband left to dubia because i told her and my other sister which we share and our dad so they all knew he wasn’t here. My sister told him that the man came to the house.


Life has just dealt you a **** hand. You have to play it now. Your husband distrusts you, that's not right and it's not fair, but it is what it is.

So you have to turn this around. Again, you shouldn't have to, being an in-love newlywed wife who is faithful and loves her husband, but you have this situation.

Cut off your sister forever.
Dump that number.
Affair-proof your marriage. 
Never again can you have male friends or socialize, one on one, with men, only when your husband is with you.

See, the thing of it is, doubt about fidelity is still a poison for a relationship, just not a strong a poison as actual infidelity.

The above doesn't require you to make a false admission of guilt, you tell your husband that your marriage is your top priority, he means so much to you and his doubt hurts you so much, that you will do the above for your husband, but for his part he needs to get that poison out of his system, you have been faithful to your man, you chose him, you want him, and no man will come between the two of you.


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## Purewhiteheart

StarFires said:


> Your sister hates you and you still communicate with her telling her your personal business?


I have four sisters , I’m the oldest. Two from my mom and two from my dad the ones closest in age are with my dad. I treat them all the same, but after an argument me and this sister (dads side) had she came clean that she was jealous of me and has always hated me and that she has only dealt with me cause our sister has so much love for me. So i didn’t know she felt like this cause she played a good role of sister


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## Purewhiteheart

Lance Mannion said:


> Life has just dealt you a **** hand. You have to play it now. Your husband distrusts you, that's not right and it's not fair, but it is what it is.
> 
> So you have to turn this around. Again, you shouldn't have to, being an in-love newlywed wife who is faithful and loves her husband, but you have this situation.
> 
> Cut off your sister forever.
> Dump that number.
> Affair-proof your marriage.
> Never again can you have male friends or socialize, one on one, with men, only when your husband is with you.
> 
> See, the thing of it is, doubt about fidelity is still a poison for a relationship, just not a strong a poison as actual infidelity.
> 
> The above doesn't require you to make a false admission of guilt, you tell your husband that your marriage is your top priority, he means so much to you and his doubt hurts you so much, that you will do the above for your husband, but for his part he needs to get that poison out of his system, you have been faithful to your man, you chose him, you want him, and no man will come between the two of you.


Thank you so much for that. An once of hope is what i see.


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## DownByTheRiver

Change your phone number and don't give it to your sister and tell the other sisters not to either. In fact don't tell anybody for a while except your husband. sounds to me like your sister wants your husband.


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## aine

What an awful sister. Tell your husband you will do a lie detector test to put all of this to rest. Then cut that sister out of your life, she is a b****!
How old are you, you sound very young. 
If your husband doesn't allow you to take the lie detector and still continues to abuse you, consider filing for divorce. Your life seems to be dictated by those around you. You might need counselling to be able to stand up for yourself and not allow all this bs in your life.


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## DownByTheRiver

Good point.


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## Divinely Favored

DownByTheRiver said:


> Change your phone number and don't give it to your sister and tell the other sisters not to either. In fact don't tell anybody for a while except your husband. sounds to me like your sister wants your husband.


Or has already had a taste and wants him all to herself. If he is that adamant to believe sister that lives in Vegas...maybe he has something to hide also. She should schedule them both polys, wonder if he blinks first.


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## Lance Mannion

Divinely Favored said:


> Or has already had a taste and wants him all to herself. If he is that adamant to believe sister that lives in Vegas...maybe he has something to hide also. She should schedule them both polys, wonder if he blinks first.


Husband in Dubai, so maybe military or contract work. In the back of such men's minds is the question "Will she cheat? Nah, she's a loyal wife. I hope." Then her freaking sister makes a big reveal. This takes that, under control, little flicker of doubt, and blows it up.


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## VladDracul

aine said:


> Tell your husband you will do a lie detector test to put all of this to rest.


I recommend just getting a lie detector test from a certified tech and giving the results to him. If he refuses to accept the results, take a hard look at his mental condition and proclivity and consider if you want to entertain that in the future. What you're dealing with with your sister is more common than you think. Take my word for it.


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