# what is your idea of a good/bad husband?



## k_day (Sep 13, 2010)

I've only been married for 2 years and starting to become resentful of my husband and was wondering if his behavior is normal or because of something else. I know physical abuse, cheating, and things like that would make for a terrible husband so let's skip some of those obvious cues.

I'm looking for a frame of reference because I don't know that many married people to compare with. Any help would be great.

Thanks.


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## Frost (Aug 2, 2010)

Well I think you would get a lot of different ideas of what constitutes a good or bad husband. Most likely people are going to answer based on thier own personal feelings and experiences. For example: a wife who's husband spends all week watching every football game may feel neglected, while another might be fine with it or even join him.

What I think is more important in your case is to explain why you feel resentful towards your husband and maybe seek feedback on whether the root cause is normal or something else.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Yeah, you're really not going to get what you need this way. Every couple is different. Even the same person can feel differently in different relationships. For example, in my first marriage, I needed my husband to be home every night. I felt that was what I needed in order for us to have a good relationship. My boyfriend is an otr truck driver, gone 2 weeks at a time, and our relationship is great. I still wish he could be home every night, but I'm ok with him being gone. 

You have to figure out what it is you need in a husband, and then figure out how he can give that to you if he isn't already. You need to figure out why you're resenting him and how to get past that.


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## Bluemoon7 (Jan 27, 2010)

An interesting question and something I've been thinking about lately.

Of course it's different for everyone, but I think a lot of it has to do with consideration for each others needs. It's the little things that my H does that make me think that he is a good husband. Like getting my coffee ready, tying my shoe for me when it comes untied, and keeping his mouth mostly shut when I watch terrible shows that I'm actually kinda embarrassed to be watching. 

In the past he has done some things that I guess a "bad" husband would do. Such as lying about his whereabouts and money, and not discussing with me before making a big decision. So, there are definitely ways a husband can be the opposite of good that have nothing to do with cheating or abuse.


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