# Re-marriage...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I have to admit something...

When my wife and I got married, it was a rush, it was a panic, it was without approval from either of our families, we just went ahead and had a shotgun wedding due to her pregnancy. I never wanted it to be like that but we didn't have a choice

For a time my wife was bugging me to have a proper wedding with family, friends, and a proper honeymoon. But well, years passed with our responsibilities and issues and we both kinda forgot about it and it never happened.

I have yet to even bring this up but I wonder if it's even a good idea. It's just to fix up some old mistakes, and have something memorable rather then the hectic stress that we were in years ago. What you guys think?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What do you both want to do? Decide together.

And btw, it wouldn't be a "re-marriage"--maybe a renewal of vows or a ceremony.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Personally I don't care really about all this weddings and having family and friends and crap -> this is for her to make her happy, I want this because she's deserving of it

But if I bring it up then well... I don't know how she will react in this
*sighs* New day, new story with us isn't it? Bah! Solve one issue, another one pops up, solve another issue an old one comes to mind...

I wonder if she'll even enjoy it considering it's been years now, but I still remember how she was years ago when she really wanted us to have a magical fairytale wedding


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

Hi,
Have you considered surprising her, set up the renewal in a very romantic setting, I know she would love to know the effort you made to make her feel special and worth whatever time it took and this time there is no other reason that you love her and want this to be your memory outside your children and families.
I think you are a very special person to even think of this, your wife is loved that's for sure.
We all just want to feel important to someone else and to be validated.
Just for us!!!
Jessi


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> What do you both want to do? Decide together.
> 
> And btw, it wouldn't be a "re-marriage"--maybe a *renewal of vows or a ceremony.*


:iagree: That gets my vote is would be super romantic. How many years have you been married? 


Reminds me on "King of Queens".....they had a renewal of vows ceremony and a monkey was the ring bearer! :rofl: :smthumbup:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Personally I don't care really about all this weddings and having family and friends and crap -> this is for her to make her happy, I want this because she's deserving of it
> 
> But if I bring it up then well... I don't know how she will react in this
> *sighs* New day, new story with us isn't it? Bah! Solve one issue, another one pops up, solve another issue an old one comes to mind...
> ...


I think she'd burst into tears of joy and be all for it! Go for it, dude!


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## hubbyfetish (Oct 2, 2012)

jessi said:


> Hi,
> Have you considered surprising her, set up the renewal in a very romantic setting, I know she would love to know the effort you made to make her feel special and worth whatever time it took and this time there is no other reason that you love her and want this to be your memory outside your children and families.
> I think you are a very special person to even think of this, your wife is loved that's for sure.
> We all just want to feel important to someone else and to be validated.
> ...


I agree with Jessi....suprise her! Set it all up by yourself!!


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

I might be inclined to do it on a milestone - like 5th or 10th.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Personally I don't care really about all this weddings and having family and friends and crap -> this is for her to make her happy, I want this because she's deserving of it
> 
> But if I bring it up then well... I don't know how she will react in this
> *sighs* New day, new story with us isn't it? Bah! Solve one issue, another one pops up, solve another issue an old one comes to mind...
> ...


Why are you fighting it so hard? If it is bothering you - tell her. If she wants to do it - throw yourself into it and have a blast with it. It doenst have to be all drama and misery and pomposity. He11 - it doesnt even have to be alot of work, I mean you guys are already married so there is not real pressure - just the good stuff. 

A proper fairytale wedding could be as simple as the 2 of you with a few close friends/fam on the beach in Jamaica - or whatever you dont have to travel. Who knows. I bet all she would want is your public proclimation of never ending committment and love in front of your best friends and some family - and perhaps a little admission that its overdue and you wish you had done it long ago.

Go ahead. She will love buying a dress doing the walk in front of everyone. She will be the admiration of everyone there, including you. People could write 'just married' on a sign on the back of a limo and you can drink champagne and have a toast. She will have her day and maybe you could go on a 3 day 'honeymoon' somewhere and have girly drinks with little pink umbrells in them.

OR

you scould say screw it, its not worth it. She will hate it. Too much trouble. Whats the point, anyway.


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

Well...if you're sincere in the gesture, how can you lose?

Isn't it win win?

If she doesn't "need" that fairy tale wedding now...you still get _credit_ for thoughtfulness.

And if it's still bothering her,well, then, good...you're trying to make it "right".

Again, I would say, you have to really_ "want"_ to go through with it if she still does want to (at least for her sake).

If you imagine that it'll turn into some huge burden for you...and you'll regret asking later...then I say you should probably just _let sleeping dogs lie_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I think planning and committing to a marriage is far more important than planning for a ceremony. What happens during a 30 minute ceremony means nothing. What happens every day for the next 30+ years means a great deal. A wedding doesn't make someone a wife any more than a diploma makes someone wise.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Weddings can be a big thing for women, my wife did make me feel bad years ago because she did share her dreams about it and how she would like it done. It's the public exchange of vows and commitment that seems to be important to her, same as how she wasn't very happy when I was hiding my affection from her on the streets - but now she's happy I got over that.

Also, it's kinda sad we don't really have a wedding video that we can be proud of and it's not really memorable except for the stress that we were in years ago...

Now... this is the next step to make her happy and clear up loose ends. She sure as hell won't be expecting this... heh

It's going to be a challenge to bring everyone together for it though, and to keep the peace (we have one side shamanist/"pagan" and the other christians) and years ago we were planning a merging of ceremonies so we can be traditionally married by both our faiths all at once - not something in agreement with everyone!

We're more than able to financially afford a nice expensive wedding now too compared to years ago... I'll weigh in my thoughts some more, see if it's going to be worth it...


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