# Update Alcohol Reduction isnt enough ?



## mrs brady

Hello,
Its been 30 days, and its been a pretty good month.I told hubby to reduce alcohol to 2 beers or I was done. It didnt help. 
I dont think limiting it to 2 beers is enough. I feel like a prude because he was acting super nice, even made dinner. We sat down to dinner and it dawned on me he was drunk. 
I understand now I cant tolerate any alcohol. He turned the tables on me and said we should get divorced . Do u think he is just saying that to shut me up. ? What is the definition of an alcoholic.


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## EleGirl

If he makes to move to file for divorce, then he probably is just trying to shut you up. Or maybe it's just one more thing he expects you to take care of. I suggest you take on the task.

He does sound like an alcoholic. It might help you to find an Al Anon chapter near you. It's for the spouse/partners of alcoholics. I think you would benefit from the support.

I found this site. It might be of help.






Alcoholism


Informative resource developed to assist addicts and those who support them discover how to identify, manage and recover from dependency.




www.caron.org


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## Openminded

I thought you were already planning to divorce him because he won’t find another job?


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## mrs brady

He has been looking since says


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## JMR

If anyone has a drinking problem they need to quit alcohol in all its forms altogether, just cutting back just keeps the pot of water CLOSE to boiling over. Believe me I HAD a drinking problem and now have two N/A beers a week. Before that a quart of booze would not last me two nights, my drinking problem started at 16 and lasted 31 years I quiet in 1986

John

I need to add just one little item,,,,, HE/SHE who ever has the drinking problem needs to quit on his/her OWN !! you can NOT get some one to quit, I quit when we saw our oldest sons guidance consoler because he was failing, and I just blurted right out, "I'm an alcoholic" then I checked into our health care outpatient program, didn't take any time off and seceded the following year I tacked my other 30+ years problem and quit smoking. BOTTOM line on both is "IT WAS MY DESIRE TO QUIT" my wife had been praying and praying and I acted on her prayers. Both my parents were smokers and drinkers, my my mom under went radical mastectomy a year aver I quit smoking and I gave her to info kit on quieting smoking and they both quit smoking together. I feel it's more of a "MIND over MATER" thing.
"YOU REALLY DON'T NEED EITHER ITEM" I hope this helps and does NOT break up a marriage we have 51 years in May.... this year we hope to celebrate


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## TBT

Is that like 2 beers a day?

If your husband is an alcoholic, limiting the number of drinks is in essence a denial of having the addiction.

As EleGirl said, Al Anon may help you. You'll find support and a better understanding of alcoholism and how it relates to your situation.


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## ccpowerslave

It can work for some people but for me it is never far away. It’s not like quitting smoking where if you have been quit for long enough it takes effort to start back up. Alcohol it’s the easiest thing in the world to fall back into it.


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## Cooper

You think an alcoholic isn't going to lie and deceive so they can drink? Have you searched every nook and cranny for booze? Basement to attic? Car, garage, barn, yard, neighbors boat? How about searching for drugs? An addict wants a buzz, if they can't get their first choice they will find another way. I would bet he is doing more than you think.


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## DownByTheRiver

mrs brady said:


> Hello,
> Its been 30 days, and its been a pretty good month.I told hubby to reduce alcohol to 2 beers or I was done. It didnt help.
> I dont think limiting it to 2 beers is enough. I feel like a prude because he was acting super nice, even made dinner. We sat down to dinner and it dawned on me he was drunk.
> I understand now I cant tolerate any alcohol. He turned the tables on me and said we should get divorced . Do u think he is just saying that to shut me up. ? What is the definition of an alcoholic.


If he is willing to compromise the important things in his life for alcohol, he is an alcohol addict. They either make up their own minds to totally stop and go to AA or they throw everyone away who doesn't agree with them. And there isn't much you can do. You can't make someone stop. He has officially chosen alcohol over his family. Time to let him go. If you feel he can't be trusted with the children, then you can request he have only supervised visitation, like if you're afraid he'll drive them around drunk, which he probably will. That will be a hardship on you, though. He should have to take care of them as much as you and you never know, that might even slow him down a little because less time to get into trouble.


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## JMR

ccpowerslave said:


> It can work for some people but for me it is never far away. It’s not like quitting smoking where if you have been quit for long enough it takes effort to start back up. Alcohol it’s the easiest thing in the world to fall back into it.


AMEN !!


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## Blondilocks

The OP hasn't been here in 4 months.


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## JMR

JMR said:


> AMEN !!


You will get to a point that tobacco smoke is decussating and alcohol has NO appeal, in fact you'll get to the point you think alcohol adds are unappealing.
John


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## DanBond

I don't think you are a prude but if he is making you unhappy what are you suppose to do?


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