# Feeling alone, with no one to talk to😥



## Rochelle (Aug 24, 2014)

Hello, 
In new to the site.
Little background. I've been with my partner 7 years, married 3.5, and hVe a lovely 2 year old daughter.

My husband has always been a flirt, and before we got married had several mishaps, with texting other women, being on dating sites, and on one occassion before we married, he got drunk and slept with another women.

I decided to forgive him, as I love him and he told me he just liked the attention and had never planned to take it any further, some guidelines we're put in place, so it wouldn't happen.

However, it's never been the case where I haven't gone 5 months without other odd things happening, he's had several girls add him on snap chat? Which I thought as wierd, but he told me he didn't know them, he's had girls on what's app, installed apps with secret facilities etc etc.

So recently I have received a email from a girl on Facebook, saying she found my husband on a dating site, and he added her on snapchat, where they would talk. She said it wasn't anything to far, bit of flirting, and fun... But when she found he was married believed what he was doing was wrong... YOU think???!!!

So I've asked him and he denied it, Untill I showed him proof, he's tried to fob it off, with saying he's never cheat, he just likes the attention etc, but it's several women?

I just don't know what to do, where I do believe he wouldn't cheat on me physically, it's still emotional cheating and I cry my eyes out think if I'm not good enough. It's about the 7th time the same things happened, just on a different social network, I've told him I think we should separate, and he cried saying I'm the only one he wants etc, and to be truthful, I don't want to leave him, I don't want to be a single mum and have to move home and start again. I love him, and wish I was enough. 

I wonder if he's got me brain washed as I don't know what to do, id I should forgive and forget and be back in this situation again in 5 months. I feel lost and broken, I never though when I got married if ever consider divorce? I have no one to talk to and need a friend and advice, I can't tell any of my friends or family, as is hate them to think negative of him 


So please I'm looking for some help, advice? Others who have been in my situation?? 

Thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Forgive all you want but don't forget.

If you rug sweep, he'll keep cheating. He does it because he can.

As a guy, I'd expect to be thrown out of the house and beg and plead and prove I'm worthy of a second chance.

And even then I wouldn't expect it.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

It seems to me that you have a serial betrayer on your hands. This will never stop.

Never.

So you have 2 options. 

A. Live with it and learn to cope the best you can.

B. Leave, divorce, and find a man who actually loves you and make a better life for yourself.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

:banghead:

You believe he wouldn't cheat on you physically? He already has.

Kick him to the curb. There is no other choice I'm afraid.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Your husband relishes the attention of other women, new connections, new flirts and attention. 

There is no way he'll stop unless he sees dire repercussions. And even then he may start up again. 

Why should you be suffering while he lives it up? Does that make sense to you? Don't you deserve to be his #1 and only one?

I think you should demand some things: 1) therapy to talk about his boundary issues 2) you get access to his phone, email, etc. 3) he's on probation. If you catch him again, let him know that's it and it's over. You will divorce him. In fact, you should probably split accounts now just in case he misbehaves again. The more forceful you are, the more responsive he will be, and right now you have him in remorseful mode. Go see a lawyer in the meantime, but don't let your husband know. If he finds out and confronts you, that's okay. Tell him you're just doing it as a precaution.


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## Rochelle (Aug 24, 2014)

Thanks.

Yes he has basically cheated once, but I don't think he would so it again. It's like an ego boost he desire from talking to these girls, but I can't just think of me, I have a daughter and I can't even look at her without immense feeling of guilt for even thinking of raising her in a broken home. My parents were happily married, and that's what I want for my daughter.

I hAve suggest therapy, he is reluctant, but I'm telling him it has to happen.

Another hardship I have, is that I am an army wife, I live 400 miles away from nag family or friends, I cant even think about how I'll manage to leave him, I am dependant on him, he has said he'll support me, but I have no idea how I can move home, with all my stuff, I'll be homeless- with him I have security, love and a family, without him I have nothing.

I understand I sound crazy that I'm saying I'm in love with him and don't want to leave. But I am. He was my first love, only man I've been with, and my vows are for life in my eyes. I know deep down, I should leave him, I just can see how I would, I'll always want him
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nickgtg (Jan 11, 2013)

You believe he wouldn't physically cheat because you don't want to believe that in your heart.

He cheated on you before you were married, and he's cheating on you while you're married. He knows he has it made, he can cheat all he wants and you'll continue to forgive him and stay with him.

Nothing will change unless you do something. He's only sorry because he got caught, and he'll again be sorry the next time it happens, which it will.

You and your daughter deserve better.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

The army will send you home.

So you love a man whom loves you not. And he never will and proves thst continuously. 

Well, stay with him then and be his "lay when he's home" as that's you all to him.

I wish you well.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Maybe go talk to the base Chaplin.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Rochelle said:


> Yes he has basically cheated once, but I don't think he would so it again.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Unfortunately past performance is biggest indicator of future behavior. He cheated once, so he is at risk of cheating again more than someone who had never cheated.

Also, with his history of infidelity, he has no business using apps like what's app and snap chat. And he shouldn't be in Facebook either. Get a joint page as a couple. He needs to be straightened out NOW or you are in for a world of hurt.

PS Men don't join dating sites to exchange recipes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rochelle (Aug 24, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> The army will send you home.
> 
> So you love a man whom loves you not. And he never will and proves thst continuously.
> 
> ...


I think that's a bit far, he hasn't cheated since we were married physically, yes he has talked to girls. But he does love me, he's put himself in destructive mode because I've told him I'm leaving, crying all day. I know my husband and I know it's love. He just needs to see I'm all he needs!

It's no a simple, stay or leave scenario, I can't just give up on 7 years
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> PS Men don't join dating sites to exchange recipes.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Unless it's a recipe on how to pick up women.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Rochelle said:


> I think that's a bit far, he hasn't cheated since we were married physically, yes he has talked to girls. But he does love me, he's put himself in destructive mode because I've told him I'm leaving, crying all day. I know my husband and I know it's love. He just needs to see I'm all he needs!
> 
> It's no a simple, stay or leave scenario, I can't just give up on 7 years
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think I can assure you that you only know the tip of the iceberg. 

And 7 years of what?

Love and respect?

I think not.


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## Rochelle (Aug 24, 2014)

Oh I don't know, I don't want to look for the worst. I just cNt look at my daughter without crying about the pain I'll be putting her through. I don't know where I'll live. It's 7 years and I feel I'll be back to nothing, accomplished nothing, and I can't see how I'll even manage without him
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Unless it's a recipe on how to pick up women.


Sounds like a recipe for Disaster !!! Thank you I'm here all night.

OP I can understand not wanting to throw it all away, especially since you Have a child, but you need to get to the bottom of what is going on.

The red flags you gave us show a 99.99% probability he is not being faithful. There is a lot more going on that you aren't aware of. Worst thing you can do is rug sweep and wish his problems away.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

No, you'll never be enough for him but not through any fault of your own. He's selfish. Very. He could change, sure, but the real question is will he. You are looking for excuses to stay and you can certainly do that but it's going to require you to turn a blind eye the rest of your life. Can you?


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to*



Rochelle said:


> . . . . My husband has always been a flirt, and before we got married had several mishaps, with texting other women, being on dating sites, and on one occassion before we married, he got drunk and slept with another women.


Howdy Rochelle:

In the folksy wisdom of A Prairie Home Companion “If you didn’t want to go to Chicago, why did you get on the train”?

You knew this of his character before you married him and now, I imagine, that you have a young child it may hold a different meaning. None the less, this is a used car you walked into with full notice that it had a bad transmission.

I’m dubious that therapy or other remedial attempts will ever change his behavior – your knowingly marrying him effectively ratified your acquiescence.

I also question that you really love him. I think your confusing love with the physical comfort and security he is able to provide you. But be advised that those may disappear as well. No job is permanent and this fellow would not appear to be of the character to stand by and support your family if things really became tough.

I’d counsel that you leave him now or ready yourself and your child to leave him in the future. 

And no, you’ll never “always want him” in fact one day you’ll ask yourself “What the hell was I thinking”. 

Good luck. It’s not easy – I know.


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## Rochelle (Aug 24, 2014)

I ask him, why he does it, and he can't tell me, he says he just likes to talk to girls, mostly it's nothing saucy etc( from what I see). I've suggested therapy too.

I'm also embarrassed to have to tell my family what's going on and become a single mum, it's not something I think I can ever do
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> PS Men don't join dating sites to exchange recipes.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Word.

Rochelle, I see it two ways. This is sort of who your husband is and he might be that way with ANY woman. Maybe it's not that he doesn't love you but that he loves himself way too much. 

Perhaps he wasn't ready to get married and have a child. (Was your child planned?) He's not mature enough. I think if you want to give him one last chance on probation, that is fair, but you can't let anything slide. 

Stand him in the living room and say to him in a very firm way (look deep into his eyes): "Look at me. I am your WIFE and this is OUR child. I married you because I love you and want a great life together. This is not a marriage right now, it's a wife playing cop and I don't want to play cop. Are you ready to cut this **** out (Husband's name), be a real man and commit to your family? Because I don't feel very loved right now, and I'm certain I can find someone who loves me out there. I expect a lot more from you here on out and I'm taking a risk in doing this, but if there is ever another slip up - I will be out that door."

You know, or something dramatic like that. But mean it. Find it inside yourself to mean it or it will be useless.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Rochelle said:


> I ask him, why he does it, and he can't tell me, he says he just likes to talk to girls, mostly it's nothing saucy etc( from what I see). I've suggested therapy too.
> 
> I'm also embarrassed to have to tell my family what's going on and become a single mum, it's not something I think I can ever do
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You're being too soft on him and he's not going to mature that way. Don't suggest therapy, require it. 

The only way you will see changes in him is if you get tough (but loving).

It's better to be a single mum than to be a married mum teaching her daughter a bad example. 

Are you financially dependent on him?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

If you don't feel you can leave him and he won't change then your choice is to live with it. I don't recommend living that way but there are women who do it because they feel they just can't leave. Sounds like that's where you are.


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## stevend1961 (Feb 5, 2011)

He has already cheated on you , thats what flirting is, its a way to get someone sexually interested in you , I would also call it fishing. 
You knew the kind of man you were getting involved with, and then was the time to put a stop to it. A couple "mishaps" is not a mishap its intentional, an intentional disrespect to you , your love for him and your relationship. Drop him before you get some dreaded disease that you cannot get rid of !! you deserve better than that.
Let me go a bit deeper , My last ex when i met her, i met her in a yahoo chat room. She had been telling everyone in the chat room that she was a professional singer, had sung with top stars doing back up vocals and the sort. Not one bit of it had any truth to it....... I didnt give it a second thought. long story short met her 6 months later we were wedded. 5 years after we had been together I came in one evening to turn off the computer in the bedroom. When I did thats when I learned that she had been having an online affair, and I had no idea that had taken place until then. 
I confronted her and the first thing she did was deny the whole thing, as if to say I was making it all up , But the evidence was irrefutable. For two years I struggled with the fact that she could do such a thing to me, even counseling didnt help because she was a pathological liar, and boy she was good at it. She had her therapist call me in and asked me why I was being so mean to her if it was only a one night stand, when in actuality it had been going on for months before I found out. She didnt care how badly she had hurt me , she didnt care that she literally destroyed my trust in her, and that even though I wanted so badly to let it go and move on I couldn't. There was never going to be that return to the way we were before her affair. I had told her on many an occasions that if she had done that to me I would not be with her for very long after that.
In the end she left , that is after she was allowed to poison my families minds against me , telling them that it was I who had been unfaithful to her. My sister in law showed up to every divorce hearring with my ex, my brother came and picked up her things. I told them they had been decieved , and that I didnt want to see them ever again . At the last hearring this woman who siad that I had been cheatting on her told my lawyer "tell him that I have been doing this since one year after we were wed". 
I thought about it and it made all the sense in the world, its just that I refused to acknowledge that it couldve been possible, why you might ask? Because I trusted her. 
I decided to have a talk with her first ex husband and found out that her behavior was indeed her way of doing things. She would go out and find these mid eastern men bed them then go home and tell him all about it. This poor man she had put him through the wringer and he still said to me that he loved her because she was his first love. Pathalogical liars are indeed not an uncommon thing , fits into both sexes, and they are very good with their drawing others in for sympathy even after they have been found out. 
But i on the other hand knew it was over the moment she stepped out of the relationship looking for love, attention, sexual gratification from someone else, and she knew this , and was scared to death that I would drop her like a hot potatoe. 
In retrospect I shouldve thrown her out the moment I found out what she had done, because thats exactly what happened two years later. She was and is gone, I am a little worse for the wear, but i refuse to ever again be the butt of someones joke and stern i have become. If a woman lies to me just once its over , i dont want to go through anything like that again period.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to&#55357;&#56869;*

Sorry about your situation. Most of the other posters are correct about your husband but you can't bring yourself to leave him. So what do you do? I suggest you start preparing yourself to be independent of your husband, because the day will come that you will have had enough and then you will be ready to leave. It would be nice to be able to execute the change when you are ready. Good luck.


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## Laurel (Oct 14, 2013)

Rochelle said:


> Hello,
> In new to the site.
> Little background. I've been with my partner 7 years, married 3.5, and hVe a lovely 2 year old daughter.
> 
> ...


Rochelle, I'm sorry you are in this terrible situation. 

I NEVER believed my husband would physically cheat on me. I overlooked and forgave a lot of inappropriate behavior because of this. Because I knew my H had self-esteem issues and was looking for an ego boost, nothing more. Because I just knew with every fiber of my being that he simply couldn't do that to me. Until I happened upon concrete proof otherwise. 

The fact is, it is HIGHLY likely he has physically cheated on you. Even if by chance he hasn't, his activities are still cheating. You state you haven't gone 5 months without some sort of inappropriate behavior of his that you discovered. I can guarantee there is much more inappropriate behavior that you have no idea about. Regardless of what he has done physically, texting, flirting and snapchatting other women is simply not acceptable behavior for a husband and father. 

The fact that he will only admit to what you have proof of is very telling. 

This cycle will continue until you break it. Until you stand up for yourself and demand that EVERYTHING inappropriate stop or you are gone. And if one more inappropriate thing happens, you follow through and leave. You have put up with so much already, he thinks you will always be there no matter what. He can have his cake and eat it too. 

What incentive does he have to stop? As long as he thinks you will believe his lies and put up with his ridiculous behavior, he will continue to behave that way. As long as he thinks you will never leave because you love him and don't want to be a single mom, he will not stop. 

Basically, you have to be willing to lose this marriage if you want to save it. Demand full transparency and full disclosure. If he doesn't agree, leave him. If you don't do this, you will spend your life with a cheater, hoping in vain that he will change and being disappointed every five months when you realize he hasn't. 

And even though you don't think you can, you CAN make it on your own. You don't need him to survive. Things have a way of working themselves out. Please don't stay with him and put up with his horrible behavior out of dependence. We are stronger than we think.


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## texasoutlaw82 (Dec 27, 2013)

Enlist the help of a friend to change the locks on your doors. Don't tolerate that type of behavior.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree that you need to start becoming independent. If you do not have a job, you need a job. IF you need some education/training, then get it.

If you are going to stay with him he needs to never, ever chat with any woman again and you have to be able to verify that. He needs to stop it.

It does it because there have been no consequences. You have allowed it for over 7 years. Yea I know you found out before and got upset. But there were no consequences. You taught him that you will just raise a bit of a stink and then forget it. Of course he does no think you would ever leave him for the emotional affairs and even physical affairs because you never have before.

I would be shocked if he has not been physically cheating on you all this time whenever he can. You just have not been paying that much attention to him so it's easy to hide.

Have you checked his phone bills to see if he's talking to any one number a lot?

Have you put a VAR in his vehicle (hidden, secured) to see if he's talking to some women when he's driving around? This is where cheaters do a lot of their talking.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to&#55357;&#56869;*



texasoutlaw82 said:


> Enlist the help of a friend to change the locks on your doors. Don't tolerate that type of behavior.


She needs to check the laws where she lives. In most places, if not all, one spouse cannot deny the other access to the marital home. It's his legal residence as well. 

If he called the police on her for this she could be the one out in the cold, without her children.

Bad advice.


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## Rochelle (Aug 24, 2014)

Thank you for your advice,

I'm in a puzzle. I love him and I am dependant on him, but more so I'm deeply on love with him. And truly believe there's nothing physically, he literally doesn't have the time, he's with me before work, at lunch and right after work. And he only works 2 min walk away.
I am going to push on therapy, I can't destroy our lives so soon without trying I think
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to&#55357;&#56869;*



Rochelle said:


> I think that's a bit far, he hasn't cheated since we were married physically, yes he has talked to girls. But he does love me, he's put himself in destructive mode because I've told him I'm leaving, crying all day. I know my husband and I know it's love. He just needs to see I'm all he needs!
> 
> It's no a simple, stay or leave scenario, I can't just give up on 7 years
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


People have given up after more years and for less than you husband has done. Sooner or later one of these EA's of his will become a PA if it hasn't already. 

He may love you but he is putting his selfish wants above the marriage. He may have a low self-esteem issue so he wants the validation and attention of other women to feel good. This is a character flaw in him and needs to be addressed if that is what it is. 

He is abusing a boundary in the marriage, you do not like it and want it to stop. He needs to understand how much this hurts you. He can cry all he wants but is it because he got caught or because he realized he has something to lose?

He needs to fear losing you in order to stop the behavior, you will need to put strict boundaries and rules on transparency and counseling both IC and MC would probably benefit both of you greatly. Don't suggest, instruct him what he needs to do in order to help save the marriage. 

If you don't put some real consequences on this now it will just progress or he will get sneakier,


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## Rochelle (Aug 24, 2014)

honcho said:


> People have given up after more years and for less than you husband has done. Sooner or later one of these EA's of his will become a PA if it hasn't already.
> 
> He may love you but he is putting his selfish wants above the marriage. He may have a low self-esteem issue so he wants the validation and attention of other women to feel good. This is a character flaw in him and needs to be addressed if that is what it is.
> 
> ...


Thank you 

I think he's crying because this time I'm being a lot harder, yesterday I told him that I wanted to take our daughter out on one last family day ( as it had been promised for weeks, and I'm not letting his stupidness ruin it for her). So we took her out and I could see in his face how bittersweet it was, he loved that day out, but it also killed him that it was going to be our last. I told him after that day some changes needed to happen, snapchat had to go, we have to go to therapy, and I want him to move out on to single living quarters.

I'm not ready to give up on his just yet, I want to see he can change, I can see how much it kills him that he can touch me, or when I speak about separating out belongings, this is the first time I've been really serious about moving home, and I think he knows this and it's scaring him big time! In the past I would go hell to leather screaming at him and them forget it the follow day. This times different, I'm still be nice to him and civil, acting like grown ups. And I think he can really see I'll do it, if he doesn't buck up.

I hope it's enough, but I am still looking at how I manage to move home, and how I'll support myself. I currently work, but I'll have to quit my job as I love in a military house and am 400 miles from home. But I want to be prepared
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to&#55357;&#56869;*



Rochelle said:


> Thank you for your advice,
> 
> And truly believe there's nothing physically, he literally doesn't have the time, he's with me before work, at lunch and right after work. And he only works 2 min walk away.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He has time to get on these dating sites and snap chatting with other women. You have a bad case of the denials. When a BS truly loves their WS everything is hazy, you lose perspective.

He has to stop all this stuff he is doing and must go to MC and grow up otherwise your marriage is nothing. If he is not willing to do what you want and you stay then be prepared for one day when your child is older and asks "Mommy why are you crying all the time and why is daddy treating you this way"? There are two people he needs to seek attention from, you and your child not some women on some website or whoever else he tries to get his thrills from.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Rochelle said:


> I *think that's a bit far, he hasn't cheated since we were married physically, *yes he has talked to girls. But he does love me, he's put himself in destructive mode because I've told him I'm leaving, crying all day. I know my husband and I know it's love. He just needs to see I'm all he needs!
> 
> It's no a simple, stay or leave scenario, I can't just give up on 7 years
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


_That you are aware of_.

_*Your husband has issues that must be dealt with by counselling*_.


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## PAgirl (Sep 10, 2013)

Rochelle, check your pm.


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## PAgirl (Sep 10, 2013)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to��*



loyallad said:


> He has time to get on these dating sites and snap chatting with other women. You have a bad case of the denials. When a BS truly loves their WS everything is hazy, you lose perspective.
> 
> He has to stop all this stuff he is doing and must go to MC and grow up otherwise your marriage is nothing. If he is not willing to do what you want and you stay then be prepared for one day when your child is older and asks "Mommy why are you crying all the time and why is daddy treating you this way"? There are two people he needs to seek attention from, you and your child not some women on some website or whoever else he tries to get his thrills from.


what is BS and WS? :scratchhead:


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to��*



PAgirl said:


> what is BS and WS? :scratchhead:


BS = betrayed spouse
WS = wayward spouse

Lots of acronyms used on here to save space and avoid repeating. You can exchange the S if gender specific (BW=betrayed wife etc..).


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## Rochelle (Aug 24, 2014)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to��*



loyallad said:


> He has time to get on these dating sites and snap chatting with other women. You have a bad case of the denials. When a BS truly loves their WS everything is hazy, you lose perspective.
> 
> He has to stop all this stuff he is doing and must go to MC and grow up otherwise your marriage is nothing. If he is not willing to do what you want and you stay then be prepared for one day when your child is older and asks "Mommy why are you crying all the time and why is daddy treating you this way"? There are two people he needs to seek attention from, you and your child not some women on some website or whoever else he tries to get his thrills from.


Maybe I am in a bit of denial, but he literally hasn't the time to physically chest, he's with me every day, he can obviously pop on his phone and Chet away, and no that's not good.

He's calling his parents tonight, to get advice, I think it will be good fro him to have disapproval from other people who love him.

Call me crazy, but my vows mean a lot to me, I never intended to divorce ever, I am willing to work at this. And I need him to also.

I'm looking for other people who have been in a similar situation and advice on whet they did, I can't be the only person who doesn't want to leave when things get tough??


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Oh no, dear. If he wants tail, he can absolutely find time. Claim a vacation day and never tell you he's off. Call in sick and never tell you. Head to "work" early and get some before he gets to work, work "late" or tell you that anyway. It does not take six hours you know.

Not to be paranoid, but not finding time is simply not true. Not even close. Look at the time he spends texting them. Where does he find time for that...

Breaking his life long habit is difficult. He has never faced consequences. Not even stopping a wedding or breaking up with him.

Perhaps execute the 180. He needs counseling. Tough love might straighten him out. He still an teenager mentally. He is probably just an entitled spoiled brat.


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

*Re: Feeling alone, with no one to talk to��*



Rochelle said:


> Maybe I am in a bit of denial, but he literally hasn't the time to physically chest, he's with me every day, he can obviously pop on his phone and Chet away, and no that's not good.
> 
> He's calling his parents tonight, to get advice, I think it will be good fro him to have disapproval from other people who love him.
> 
> ...


I thought my WW never had time to cheat either. She would tell me the stories of how busy her day was at work. She would also call me as soon as she left work. Found out later on a lot of her work day was spent being with POSOM and the phone calls on her way home were part of the cheaters bag of tricks. As soon as she got off the phone with me she would call up POSOM and talk all the rest of the way home. When someone will lie and conceal things from you never assume they aren't up to something.

I admire you took your vows to heart. Guess what so did I. If your spouse doesn't then you don't have much. If you don't want to leave when things get "tough" what will you do when they get tougher because your husband doesn't change and only gets worse. Do you really think he's going to stop what he's doing cold turkey. More likely he is getting more brazen and if he hasn't had a PA yet with one of the chatmates he eventually will.

If he does talk to his parents tonight I recommend you be on the call with him. Hear what he says and what they say. If he tries to soft pedal this then he's not serious about stopping his destructive behavior.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I'm still confused how my ex was sleeping with another guy.

I dropped her at work in the morning, we went to most lunches together, and went home every night together.

She never went out on her own, never worked late...

She must have been doing him in the broom closet, in the parkade, or taking time off from work that I didn't know about it.

Where there's a will, there's a way.


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