# My unhappy Wife keeps jerking me around



## Lovetheocean (Oct 10, 2010)

I finaly had it the other day with my wife continuing contact with OM she's been having an emotional affair with. Flat out told her to f-off and I didnt love her anymore. She cried and pleaded with me to give her another chance. I did. This is about the 4th time since she told me she didnt love me anymore after 27 years of marrige. I thought this would be different this time. But, by the next day, she started to act cold to me again. Just like the other times before. I can't take it anymore! I need advice. Please help!


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

Your threats are idle.........she sees this and walks all over you. Start proceedings immediately!


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Make like a B-52 and take off! Just make sure you talk to a lawyer first!


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## Lovetheocean (Oct 10, 2010)

The problem is, I still do love her and want to make it work. We had a great marrige with three awesome kids ( all adults now). Cant say for sure if shes still talking with OM. If she has stopped I know she probably feels trapped here and more unhappy. I dont want to rush into anything. Shes been to counseling three times throught our marrige, and never said I was or could be the problem, or wanted us to go to marrige counseling together. Im going to seek professional help for all this. Im already much stronger than I was when this started. One scary thing is I know if she believed I didnt love her anymore and sought to seperate or divorce, she might lose it mentally. Shes very unstable at this point.


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## troy (Jan 30, 2011)

Its not time to give up on your 27 year marriage. Try some different approach in improving the quality of your marriage. I'v tried counseling in the past and it did not work for me at all.

I suggest a marriage weekend getaway. Have some fun together, get some marital advice, and maybe even talk with people in a similar situation. 

I have been trying to get my wife to go but she refuses. Just keep trying, its not too late


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Lovetheocean said:


> I finaly had it the other day with my wife continuing contact with OM she's been having an emotional affair with. Flat out told her to f-off and I didnt love her anymore. She cried and pleaded with me to give her another chance. I did. This is about the 4th time since she told me she didnt love me anymore after 27 years of marrige. I thought this would be different this time. But, by the next day, she started to act cold to me again. Just like the other times before. I can't take it anymore! I need advice. Please help!


Buddy I doubt it's only an emotional affair. Talk to a lawyer. She's not going to change.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I was going to suggest MC. It worked for me.


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## bluesky (Jan 29, 2011)

I also doubt its only an emotional affair.
A woman may accept that, but the OM would not give her consistent time unless he was getting more out of it.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I believe security is a huge draw for a woman and probably the primary criteria most women used to select their mate. "I don't love you anymore" would tend to destroy the primary motive she likely has for being married. It's a threat to her security. If you do wish to make this thing work, I'd avoid such statements or threats of divorce. Whatever OM is to her, she can't feel the sense of security she must feel with you. You have a 27 year history with her and he doesn't. You're a known commodity and he's (at most) a fantasy. Being angry and hurt is only natural, but if you are able, it might be more productive to figure out what she's getting out of this contact with him. Nobody does anything (especially anything risky) unless they get a payoff. If you help her fulfill that need, OM becomes irrelevant.


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## Confused-Wife (Jan 26, 2011)

bluesky said:


> I also doubt its only an emotional affair.
> A woman may accept that, but the OM would not give her consistent time unless he was getting more out of it.


I absolutely disagree. This is an extremely overgeneralized statement.


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