# How to tell him it is over



## Carolyn492 (Nov 26, 2007)

*How to tell him it is over ???*

I have been sleepless for weeks trying to tell him i am leaving. I told him 6 months ago that it was not working well and i was misirabel. He just said it was a fine time to tell him. it was on a sunday night when we were going to bed. I agree it was late. Please help i need to get out. I do not eat anymore and i do not sleep, when i do sleep it is on sleeping pills. I never left anyone before and now im leaving my husband of 17 years

How do i tell him please help !!!!!


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

A court order is a sure thing but rather harsh. I'd pack my things go and leave a note. Get away and take time to clear your head and think. Get the paper work started and a lawyer if you can. 

draconis


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## Carolyn492 (Nov 26, 2007)

I have been thinking of talking to him face to face but my nerves tense up and I just jam there and say nothing. My sleeping pills keep me from shaking all over. It is not like i want anyting i want my cloths my computer & my dog.. He can have the house the truck the boat ect... I thought leaving a note would be rude . I did not know it could be done. For the moment I work nights and he works day shift


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Well you still see him sometime during the week if not plan a dinner out (no yelling be prepared to pay) or at home. Simply tell him look what we had once no longer exists and I will be filing for divorce. You can have all the major stuff. I just can't live like this, feeling this way.

Try to get the divorce part out quickly because that is the part that is causing your crash. Once you have that it is all down hill.

draconis


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## Soulhavoc (Dec 2, 2007)

I agree with what Draconis first said, pack your stuff and be prepared to leave asap. But if you really feel you owe it to him and yourself to give him a face to face reason for you leaving then just be prepared to go immediately afterwards. This is assuming you know 100% for sure that he wont have any kind of violent or frightening reaction to this news.
You said you work nights and he works days so there must be some time in the evenings when you two get to see each other. I would wait until he has been at home from work at least 30 minutes to unwind from work-related types of stresses before letting him know you have something important to talk about. If he is open to the talk then tell him you have to go, be prepared to answer a couple of questions and let him know that if he has anything left unanswered you will be more then glad to talk to him on the phone once you are settled elsewhere. Gather up the things you are taking with you and go as quickly after the conversation ends as possible. 

If you feel for any reason that he may react violently or in a way that will hurt you then you have a good situation here to pack up and be gone before he returns home from work. If he would react that way then you deserve your safety first and he doesnt deserve any face to face explainations.


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## Carolyn492 (Nov 26, 2007)

I think I will go with the letter on the table.. As much as I know that leaving is the right thing to do , I do not have the courage to do it in his face. I tried yesterday. My heart beated a mile a minute and i choked. I am making my husband miserable and I have to end this. I married for the wrong reasons and I am paying for it. I never left anyone before


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I wish you the best of luck and remember you will always have support here on the forums. Look into doing things for yourself if you can, it will help to have a hobby that you enjoy.

Divorce is hard I went through one myself. Only at the end did I decide to go to a gym, I looked better, felt better about myself, and it was a great way to get over things. I even made a few friends there.

draconis


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## Carolyn492 (Nov 26, 2007)

Thank-You I ride horses. This is my passion. My horse use to be blamed for alot of things and is the reason I began to see I had a life. I use to live my husbands life but now i live mine. When I told my husband that I was not happy 7 months he blamed the horse for everything. He loves to blame and send away my animals.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I know in my area there are many places you can ride without the expense of owning your own, also there are many places that will house a horse for you. Maybe you can find a place to be with your horse. I use to work on a horse farm other then the work to keep them up they are relaxing for the nerves. I wish you well.

draconis


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