# Best Way to Say you want a D



## howcouldshe (Jul 18, 2011)

As the title states, if and when you decide that is the route to take what is the best way to do it? Have her served? Talk about it?

Curious on your thoughts.


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## upset/confused (Jul 26, 2011)

My H came home from a trip, said he was unhappy and wanted a Divorce. (he had found a OW)

I don't recommend it. I say sit down and tell her why. Answer her questions. If you arent interested in Reconciliation, tell her. Don't leave anything open to hope. It hurts the one getting dumped. 


It has been two months since he told me. Still kills me today. But I have accepted it and in the process of moving forward.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

In person. I think its cruel to just serve someone with D papers without warning.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## howcouldshe (Jul 18, 2011)

I am on the same page as you both are, that if I decide to I have to tell her in person, she is the WW and tells me she was thinking of leaving and then ended up having and A so I have to think that she wont be suprised if I tell her that.............any other thoughts out there


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I still think you should tell her in person regardless of what happened before. 

It's entirely up to you though.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Easy....

You: I want a divorce.

Her: why?

You: well, wtf did you think was going to happen? You had an affair. I have too much self respect to just sit her and let you do that to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## howcouldshe (Jul 18, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Easy....
> 
> You: I want a divorce.
> 
> ...



:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup::iagree::iagree::iagree:

I may have to use that line............


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah you could say what Omega said.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

How NOT to say you want a divorce:

!. Not on the phone
2. Not on the phone nearly 2k miles from home.


That's what my STBXH did to me which was the epitome of cowardly, at least to me. That just set things in motion for the downward spiral that has been my life for the past 6 months.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I find your lack of faith disturbing....


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

cherokee96red said:


> How NOT to say you want a divorce:
> 
> !. Not on the phone
> 2. Not on the phone nearly 2k miles from home.



3. Not via text, FB, etc


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> 3. Not via text, FB, etc


:iagree:


STBXH didn't text or use a computer, pretty much lived in his semi at the time. Just do it in person.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

You can tell her in person. Tell her you don't want to stay married to someone who chose to cheat on you.

or

If you think you might change your mind after a bit more time, tell her you are considering divorce since she cheated on you. That you haven't decided yet but will not stay in a marriage that doesn't improve......vastly.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I think my joke missed the mark. How would I tell someone? Face to face like an adult. You owe them that much.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> I find your lack of faith disturbing....


lol. Yes, you missed the mark with me. But then again, if I have to get you to explain this to me, it's no longer funny.

Just wait....I'll be processing this for a few days subconsciously....then in the middle of a meeting i'm going to start giggling or something......


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Ahhh! Giggles!

Now I remember. Darth Vader choking the crap out of that poor basterd while he says that...

lol. 

Well, we would all LIKE to say it like that....wouldn't we.


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

As someone who just got told here is my perspective. Do it in person, in a neutral area. Then agree on how to file and who does what. That was true for me in all but the last one but I would have hated to be served without knowing in advance. In fact, I will pick up my papers from her lawyer so I dont need to be served


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

My wife left me and the kids the other day to live with her cousin and find work..which is thousands of miles away. So if/when I decide to file for divorce, do I fly to tell her? How the hell I handle this one?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

in your case HD she is already very cognizant of what her actions may bring, I say in your case you should serve her papers


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