# Real life twilight zone on LinkedIn



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

go to link this week to add a coworker...
Half way down is Bob's wife. As in the wife of the bad guy from the RDMU thread.
Entirely different industry. Different city. Never went to her page. Does LinkedIn read emails while its up? Note I did not use a work email with RDMU ever and RDMU does not have a LinkedIn. 
Dubya tee eff!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> go to link this week to add a coworker...
> Half way down is Bob's wife. As in the wife of the bad guy from the RDMU thread.
> Entirely different industry. Different city. Never went to her page. Does LinkedIn read emails while its up? Note I did not use a work email with RDMU ever and RDMU does not have a LinkedIn.
> Dubya tee eff!


Cookies, perhaps?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

:surprise:Wow, that is a Twilight Zone level of strange.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

That is really weird.


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## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

soccermom2three said:


> That is really weird.


I'm going with cookies, you did a lot of research on this, I'm sure from the same computer. What do you hope to get from this post?

Cheers,
V(13)


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Voltaire2013 said:


> I'm going with cookies, you did a lot of research on this, I'm sure from the same computer. What do you hope to get from this post?
> 
> Cheers,
> V(13)


Someone to question my motives!
:grin2:


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Iirc, I did little on his wife, only to find links back to bob. He has almost no internet presence beyond public records. Then again, over two years ago. Memory fails some.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> Someone to question my motives!
> :grin2:



Isn't the fact that it is just a freaky thing that just popped up on LI worthy of a post here? Many of us kept up with or have heard about RDMU's story. It can't be a random coincidence. I asked my girlfriend who is a recruiter about LI connections, she said her best guess is you may have done some name searches that were connected to the wife and those triggered her coming up. Six degrees of RDMU and side show Bob.


You will figure this out too Weightlifter>


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

weightlifter said:


> go to link this week to add a coworker...
> Half way down is Bob's wife. As in the wife of the bad guy from the RDMU thread.
> Entirely different industry. Different city. Never went to her page. Does LinkedIn read emails while its up? Note I did not use a work email with RDMU ever and RDMU does not have a LinkedIn.
> Dubya tee eff!


I don't know anything about the RDMU thread or how you are related to these people, but the most likely cause is through a close link between you and Bob's wife among other contacts. For example if one of your contacts is just one or two degrees from her, or even directly connected, it will offer friend suggestions based on that. 

Another possibility is that linkedin pulls your contacts and email addresses so all you have to do is exchange an email, Linkedin will see the address then propose you connect with that person. I bought something on eBay from someone back in 2003, exchanged two emails with them 12 years ago, and Linked in is still pushing them on me as a contact. Also the reverse is true. Linkedin is pulling her email contacts and if they see you in her email contacts, it can use that to push content to you.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Maybe cookies. My work for drum was done on same comp. bob wife is def not only one away. Those are marked. Two away come up high on the list, like a PM I was over from a sub on a major project.
Nonetheless. Weird.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Weightlifter, is RDMU still in R with his wife?
any "new" news?


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Had lunch with him in may 2014 and jan 2015. They are Still together. She is still audited by methods I won't ever publish. It's largely automated so little time involved. She is clean thus far.

She admitted a year on that whole bob thing was going to go down a very bad road. She told him, "you saved me". At first she did want to admit bob would have gotten his hard core wishes eventually but now admits it.

His triggers are down to about three bad ones a year. She was smart and surrenders and apologizes with no excuse given. It's exactly the thing she needs to do and she does it.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Did he ever get her to sign a post-nup?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> Had lunch with him in may 2014 and jan 2015. They are Still together. She is still audited by methods I won't ever publish. It's largely automated so little time involved. She is clean thus far.
> 
> She admitted a year on that whole bob thing was going to go down a very bad road. She told him, "you saved me". At first she did want to admit bob would have gotten his hard core wishes eventually but now admits it.
> 
> His triggers are down to about three bad ones a year. She was smart and surrenders and apologizes with no excuse given. It's exactly the thing she needs to do and she does it.




Given what she did to him the triggering, while I'm sure it is horrible for him isn't as often as I would have thought. He must have had some good therapy.

When I first found out that my Ex's EA was a full fledged PA after all, I spoke to a couple that had been in "successful" R for 30 years. The BH still triggered all the time. After talking to the WW, she gave a very different version of the affair than her BH knew, she told me details that he was not aware of. That was it for me. They were trying to help me see that R was possible and it pushed me to the lawyer that much faster. It was the BH who told me in my shoes he would leave. 

End TJ. I'm glad RDMU's R is going OK for him, it is a lot of painful hard work.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> Given what she did to him the triggering, while I'm sure it is horrible for him isn't as often as I would have thought. He must have had some good therapy.
> 
> When I first found out that my Ex's EA was a full fledged PA after all, I spoke to a couple that had been in "successful" R for 30 years. The BH still triggered all the time. *After talking to the WW, she gave a very different version of the affair than her BH knew, she told me details that he was not aware of.* That was it for me. They were trying to help me see that R was possible and it pushed me to the lawyer that much faster. It was the BH who told me in my shoes he would leave.
> 
> End TJ. I'm glad RDMU's R is going OK for him, it is a lot of painful hard work.


Damn.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Everyone forgets he was EXTREMELY good at compartmentalizing and accepting blame.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Everyone forgets he was EXTREMELY good at compartmentalizing and accepting blame.


Well I guess that is the secret, I suck at both.

The ability to compartmentalize seems to be key in being a good cheater, and also being able to R:scratchhead:


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Why is this important enough to make a post about it?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

OnTheRocks said:


> Why is this important enough to make a post about it?


If importance was a requirement for threads, we'd lose many posts.


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