# Can a sexual fetish turn off a partner?



## Reaper39 (Nov 25, 2015)

I enjoy two fetishes being facesitting and trampling. My wife has recently informed me that she doesn't mind me kissing or licking her feet but that she never enjoyed the trampling part but enjoys the facesitting as she gets an orgasm each and every time. I'm a bit disappointed in losing a fetish but we are recovering from a rough time in our marriage and I don't want to lose her. Has anyone ever lost a loved one because your sexual fetish wasn't satisfied?


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

Someone doesn't always have to enjoy the other persons kink to take part in it, it's fine to be neutral on it and let them indulge from time to time. My wife sometimes likes to masturbate and have me watch or record it (then immediately delete it), I would much prefer to have my face buried in her vagina or be more hands on and interactive but I do it because I know she likes it, so I like it. I have several kinks (nothing crazy) that I know don't float her boat but she'll indulge me from time to time, but if you're insisting your wife trample you or let you lick her feet while you masturbate and that's the extent of your sex life it will become a major problem.


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## Reaper39 (Nov 25, 2015)

knobcreek said:


> Someone doesn't always have to enjoy the other persons kink to take part in it, it's fine to be neutral on it and let them indulge from time to time. My wife sometimes likes to masturbate and have me watch or record it (then immediately delete it), I would much prefer to have my face buried in her vagina or be more hands on and interactive but I do it because I know she likes it, so I like it. I have several kinks (nothing crazy) that I know don't float her boat but she'll indulge me from time to time, but if you're insisting your wife trample you or let you lick her feet while you masturbate and that's the extent of your sex life it will become a major problem.


I've never insisted but have from time to time strongly hinted that I would enjoy to be trampled but if she doesn't enjoy it or finds it strange then I can't ask for it. To be honest I'm thrilled that she enjoys sitting on my face as she releases her juices all over my face.


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

My ex has a leather/bondage fetish. I liked it at first, but it became an obsession with him. For me, it was fun to mix things up with it from time to time. For him, it was the only way he could get off. That didn't feel like a real emotional connection to me - it felt like the leather and role playing was just a means to an ends. i.e., like being used. 

Not a big turn on for most women.


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

Reaper39 said:


> I've never insisted but have from time to time strongly hinted that I would enjoy to be trampled but if she doesn't enjoy it or finds it strange then I can't ask for it.


Why? I get if you're asking for anal or something that violates her and could potentially cause much discomfort or be degrading, but putting her feet in your face and stepping on you? Seems an easy enough request as long as you're not requiring it every sexual encounter.



Reaper39 said:


> To be honest I'm thrilled that she enjoys sitting on my face as she releases her juices all over my face.


Ok TMI... This just got weird.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I think if it dominates every sexual encounter it could be a turn off, especially if it's the only way the person with the fetish can get off.


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## razze (Nov 26, 2015)

I knew a girl in college who was into pissing as a sort of foreplay. She'd put plastic sheets on the bed and hold me tight and just let it go.

I found it to be rather disturbing at times.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

razze said:


> I knew a girl in college who was into pissing as a sort of foreplay. She'd put plastic sheets on the bed and hold me tight and just let it go.
> 
> *I found it to be rather disturbing at times.*




no $het!


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

The answer to your question is Yes.

Any other answer is about caveats and personal preferences.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Reaper39 said:


> Has anyone ever lost a loved one because your sexual fetish wasn't satisfied?


Generally speaking a sexual fetish will fade if you can see that a partner is just not into at, while at the same time you do not feel judged about having the fetish. I had a rather odd fetish from my early years, that I later determined was more about shame than anything else. It is mostly important that you just do not feel judged for your fetish and be a confident lover without it.

Ultimately we want to please our partners, not just ourselves. So in that sense a fetish is just not that important. 

Sincerely,
Badsanta


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Anything goes, as long as it's safe.

My husband has one particular fetish that I've honestly come to hate that I used to enjoy.

He still tries it often and I'll give in occasionally. But if I don't give in, he'll keep pushing it which totally turns me off and makes me want to stop completely.

I'm very open to sex in my marriage, but I think if someone is totally uncomfortable with it, it's definitely gonna cause problems.

And for gods sake if she says no, don't keep pushing it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

razze said:


> I knew a girl in college who was into pissing as a sort of foreplay. She'd put plastic sheets on the bed and hold me tight and just let it go.
> 
> I found it to be rather disturbing at times.


At times? So there were times you didn't?


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## Gob Bluth (Jul 12, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Anything goes, as long as it's safe.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



If you don't mind elaborating, what caused you to hate something you previously enjoyed? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## marriage_student (Nov 24, 2015)

if i have a female friend is it ok to ask which fetish she has? 
or can you only ask a girlfriend/wife?


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## NoSizeQueen (Sep 9, 2015)

marriage_student said:


> if i have a female friend is it ok to ask which fetish she has?
> or can you only ask a girlfriend/wife?


You probably shouldn't ask her. If a male friend randomly asked me if I had any fetishes, it would make me uncomfortable. It's kind of a personal question.


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## marriage_student (Nov 24, 2015)

NoSizeQueen said:


> You probably shouldn't ask her. If a male friend randomly asked me if I had any fetishes, it would make me uncomfortable. It's kind of a personal question.


Good, i had thought it was wrong too but just checking in case it was ok. it would be a fun thing to know about an attractive lady, that is for sure 
A girl in my class (when i was a student last year) told the whole class that she went to Sexpo and purchased a vibrator with her best friends. i cannot remember whey she said it but the teacher was talking about marketing/business so it was probably relevant but still pretty sexual to hear


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> My husband has one particular fetish that I've honestly come to hate that I used to ENJOY.
> 
> And for gods sake if she says no, don't keep pushing it!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


These two sentences kind of contradict each other, n'est pas?

You used to enjoy "it" by your own admission, which logically implies that you may indeed enjoy it again, providing whatever made you "enjoy" said act in the past, may be replicated in the future.

Just sayin.

I will even give you an example from myself.
When I was in high school I hated golf. Thought it was the ultimate ***** sport. As I grew older I learned to LOVE golf. So much so that I used to post over 100 rounds per season. As time went by and I had 1, 2 and then 3 kids, I started hating golf again. Completely stopped. Again, as time goes by, now I like it again.
Never say never is what I say.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

UMP said:


> These two sentences kind of contradict each other, n'est pas?
> 
> You used to enjoy "it" by your own admission, which logically implies that you may indeed enjoy it again, providing whatever made you "enjoy" said act in the past, may be replicated in the future.
> 
> ...


I used to enjoy it every once in a while, usually after a "had a few drinks" night. It's not the most comfortable for me and now he wants to do it once a week, totally sober.

It's just not my thing anymore. It was ok when it was sonething different and fun, once it became expected, it's just not fun anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JamesTKirk (Sep 8, 2015)

I would do things for my wife that I didn't particularly enjoy just to make her happy and satisfy her. Call me paranoid, but I'd be more afraid she'd go explore something extramarital in search for that fetish if I didn't play along. I feel like it's my responsibility to keep her sex appetites happy because I'm the only one that can do that for her. There are some fetishes that might really disgust me or turn me off like being insulted or something. But I imagine most reasonable fetishes wouldn't bother me.

I'd try a compromise. See if you can talk her into the trampling once in a while, as long as it's not every time. Make it something special once in a while that she'll undoubtedly put up with. Maybe you can do something for her in return? (Quid pro quo?)
See how she reacts. If she really hates it, then she'll let you know and maybe you just have to let it go. But if you make it clear to her that only once in a while will keep you happy, she might do it for you once in a while.

It really depends on the dynamic of your relationship.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

My husband has always wanted me to give him a lap dance. I cannot do it. #1 I'm a horrible dancer #2 I don't feel like a sexual being in that way. I feel sexy during sexual acts, but in that way Id just feel stupid. #3 I have pretty bad body image issues, putting myself on display like that, I can't even fathom.

Luckily he dropped it a while ago.

Thank god, if he would've kept pushing that issue it would've made me very resentful.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> I used to enjoy it every once in a while, usually after a "had a few drinks" night. It's not the most comfortable for me and now he wants to do it once a week, totally sober.
> 
> It's just not my thing anymore. It was ok when it was sonething different and fun, once it became expected, it's just not fun anymore.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not to derail the thread, but I would tell your husband point blank what you just told me. I would then say "if you want me to EVER be into this, it would be OK MAYBE once a month, after some partying, and don't push so much. The more you push, the less I will want it."

Unless is a complete moron, he should get the point.
However, most men, including myself ARE morons. We don't catch on very fast.:grin2:


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> I used to enjoy it every once in a while, usually after a "had a few drinks" night. It's not the most comfortable for me and now he wants to do it once a week, totally sober.
> 
> It's just not my thing anymore. It was ok when it was sonething different and fun, once it became expected, it's just not fun anymore.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not to derail the thread, but I would tell your husband point blank what you just told me. I would then say "if you want me to EVER be into this, it would be OK MAYBE once a month, after some partying, and don't push so much. The more you push, the less I will want it."

Unless he is a complete moron, he should get the point.
However, most men, including myself ARE morons. We don't catch on very fast.:grin2:


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## SarahB (Dec 19, 2015)

My husband enjoys "Sploshing" (incorporating messy food play into sex). I found out when he threw a pie in my face on our honeymoon! I've actually come to enjoy having occasional whipped cream, chocolate, or cupcake fights during foreplay (although probably not as much as he does). Seeing how much it turns him on helps turn me on, if that makes any sense. 

About once a year we get together with other "sploshers" in our area for an evening of all out messy mayhem. We wear swimsuits and take turns throwing pies at each other, smashing cakes and raw eggs, having ketchup and mustard wars, dumping cans of baked beans, Spaghetti-O's and chocolate over each other's heads and rolling and sliding around on a tarp coated with sloppy substances like pudding, jello and mashed potatoes. 

This is definitely not something I ever imagined doing before meeting my husband, but I have to admit that there is something fun about getting the chance to shed all adult responsibility and do something totally crazy once in a while. It feels kind of naughty to drop our unsuspecting four-year-old son off at the baby sitter's and then spend the evening throwing food at each other!


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

My fetishes?

- getting an oiled foot job
- toys
- tie Mrs.CuddleBug to the bed and give her oral and with a small vib until she screams and explodes....:grin2:
- anything really

Nothing crazy that I know of.....heh.:grin2:


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