# Is this a good or bad idea?



## Jessica78 (Aug 28, 2017)

Hello

I don´t quite get this for a number of reasons and not sure if we should give it a go or not...I can´t discuss it with my friends so really wanted some advice and understand what it´s all about..

Hs anyone else tried this?

My husband and I have and active sex life usually twice per week. We were talking and he told me about a fantasy /fetish he has. He wants to watch me have sex with a black man whilst the guy gives us racial abuse. We talk openly about things so it wasn´t uncomfortable per say...

I open to trying most things, but why would he enjoy this?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It's a horrid idea. Not sure why you would even contemplate it...... something is very wrong here.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

I don't get it... Is he in the Klan and have some strange fetish? That sort of thing does happen. 

Getting a guy, any guy to have sex with you = easy. Getting one to have sex with you and tell your husband he has a tiny white penis, etc... more challenging. Racisim is already a painful thing in any country, and its still not cool. 

BTW: Fantasy and reality are two different things.

You two already in an open marriage?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Your husband is sick ~ and IMHO, you would be just as sick to even entertain going along with it!*


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Jessica78 said:


> Hello
> 
> I don´t quite get this for a number of reasons and not sure if we should give it a go or not...I can´t discuss it with my friends so really wanted some advice and understand what it´s all about..
> 
> ...


You are joking right? Your H needs his head checked, it sounds abusive and you would be the one being abused.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

I'm not sure why you're asking here, TBH. This really seems like something you have to contemplate on your own, without seeking advice from a 3rd party, but what do I know?

IMO, he has a fetish for black men banging his wife while he watches, and seems to want to be insulted because of the colour of his skin in the process. Whatever floats his boat, I guess.

I'm not super PC by any stretch, but this is one of those things that I never quite understood. To me, it's objectifying somebody because of their skin colour, and in all honesty, why a self-respecting black man would oblige to be a pawn in somebody else's fantasy simply because of the colour of his skin is beyond me.

Honestly, if you're okay with your husband getting off on being insulted by another man, regardless of skin colour, while he bangs you, then go for it.

But the fact that you have to ask strangers strongly implies that you're _not_ okay with it. You basically answered your own question.


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## KevinZX (Jul 1, 2017)

Jessica78 said:


> Hello
> 
> I don´t quite get this for a number of reasons and not sure if we should give it a go or not...I can´t discuss it with my friends so really wanted some advice and understand what it´s all about..
> 
> ...


I know this is wrong on all levels, this can't be part of a healthy marriage, it seems to me that he is watching bizarre hardcore pornography and translates this into a fantasy that he woud like, he is deluded, DO not let this be part of your life, it sounds horrible.

Love and Peace always

KevinZX


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## xMadame (Sep 1, 2016)

Some men are really turned on by being a cuckold. His fantasy implies that he desires to be humiliated and this desire is by someone that he feels is much stronger than him sexually, which to him is a black man that probably has a larger penis than him. He is also probably very turned on by this because he wants to see his wife pleasured in a way that he feels he could never pleasure her.

Whether or not it is a good idea depends on the healthiness of your marriage. Could you enact this fantasy for your husband? If you did, what type of impact would it have on your marriage or on his mental health?
I would be asking him why he wants to do it? 

I have seen countless relationships where the man had a fantasy to have a 3some and the relationship ended after because one of the partners could not mentally handle the implications that it had on their relationship.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Oh my, I haven't laughed this much in a while! So, he wants you to have sex with a black man and have him yell racial insults at your husband while he does it? I'm ROTFL here! 

I think you should do it! In fact, invite a Mexican and a Chinese too, so they can all gang up on your husband.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Fantasies are fine, but some should stay as fantasies. My feeling is that what people do in the bedroom is private and anything goes - as long as its completely consensual. If you want to play concentration camp guard and Jewish prisoner, that's OK, if you are both into it - but its not something to tell anyone else about. 

For this particular fantasy I think its MUCH better to role play. He can get a large black strapon, or hollow penis sheath, put on black face and video himself fcking you hard if that is what you are both into. I strongly advise against bringing anyone else into the bedroom for something like this.

If its not something you are in to (and most people would not want this), that is absolutely fine - you don't need to go along with your partner's every fantasy.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

The Cuckold Fantasy: The Fetish and Everything About It

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...et-male-sexual-fantasy-is-surprisingly-common

It's a fairly common fantasy though if you were to really do it I would suggest a lot of research and talking and rules. I'd suggest you go on fetlife and talk to women and men who have been there/done that for advice and reading up on things that can go wrong, etc. There are whole groups for people into this sort of thing. I suggest he read through it too.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> The Cuckold Fantasy: The Fetish and Everything About It
> 
> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...et-male-sexual-fantasy-is-surprisingly-common
> 
> It's a fairly common fantasy though if you were to really do it I would suggest a lot of research and talking and rules. I'd suggest you go on fetlife and talk to women and men who have been there/done that for advice and reading up on things that can go wrong, etc. There are whole groups for people into this sort of thing. I suggest he read through it too.


I think most people know what a cuckold fantasy is. I think most people realize that others can have vastly different sexual tastes and or fantasies. I think plenty of people are fine with others doing whatever they want in their own "bedrooms".

But to claim its a fairly COMMON fantasy for guys to want other guys to **** their wives while they watch? No.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Middle of Everything said:


> I think most people know what a cuckold fantasy is. I think most people realize that others can have vastly different sexual tastes and or fantasies. I think plenty of people are fine with others doing whatever they want in their own "bedrooms".
> 
> But to claim its a fairly COMMON fantasy for guys to want other guys to **** their wives while they watch? No.


Yes, a common fantasy. One that isn't wrong or right and often not acted on but it's certainly not a rarity to have it as a fantasy. 

_Cuckolding has been around for centuries and retains its popularity today. In fact, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam found (after analyzing the contents a billion online search terms) that *“cuckold porn” is second only to “youth” in heterosexual porn searches.*_

Why Cuckolding Is The Kinky Sex Act Your Man Is Dying To Try | Dr. Dawn Michael | YourTango


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> Yes, a common fantasy. One that isn't wrong or right and often not acted on but it's certainly not a rarity to have it as a fantasy.
> 
> _Cuckolding has been around for centuries and retains its popularity today. In fact, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam found (after analyzing the contents a billion online search terms) that *“cuckold porn” is second only to “youth” in heterosexual porn searches.*_
> 
> Why Cuckolding Is The Kinky Sex Act Your Man Is Dying To Try | Dr. Dawn Michael | YourTango


So for awhile was "Two girls, One cup" a common sexual fantasy? :surprise::wink2:

And we are going to have to agree to disagree as to whether its a common fantasy that is actually ever seriously entertained. Also I would disagree as to whether or not its not wrong to fantasize about other men banging your wife. But as I said agree to disagree and to each his/her own.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

(Hoping not to get banned) this can't be real.


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## seabeeken123 (Aug 16, 2017)

Wow. That's one sick dude. Sorry. Just him even fantasizing about it should be a big concern.


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## Dannip (Jun 13, 2017)

I hear they teach white guilt in skool these days. 

The anti-Testosterone betaization of male culture thing has got to end. 

He needs to read up on some manly books. And get a real male role model in his life.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I want to thank you so much for this thread! When feeling down about the stuff I read in the CWI section, I can come here and read this thread about some dude wanting a black man to screw his wife while insulting him with racial slurs and I can't help but laugh out loud. Life is good! 

Have you thought about bringing in a man-hating lesbian too? There are just so many options here! How about a divorce judge? They hate men!


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

some things should stay in the fantasy area and not become reality.

Do not have this become a reality.

Get divorced before you blow his real world apart.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

In the porn industry... there is a lot of black men with white women porn out there. Considering the populations - there is obviously a lot of white guys who really like the fantasy.

Its the addition of having the guy say raqcial comments that would be more difficult, IMHO.

But some won't care.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Having a black man as the "bull" is common enough within the kink too. As is degrading or humiliating the husband. For some it's just part of the kinks. 
Kinks of any kind are neither good or bad. 

But OP, you'd be much better off getting advice from people who share that kink cause those that don't "get it" just don't. 
If it's something you are open to you need to put a lot of communication and planning and thought into it. There are groups for cuckholding and hotwifing that are better suited.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I have heard some bad ideas in my time.

This is very high up on the list.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

why the weird fetish?

I would guess it is totally porn related. There is a whole genre of porn where the wife tells her white husband "your pathetic little **** is too small, i need a real **** instead. Then cut to the scene where the white guy is forced to look on as a black guy with a 12" penis uses his wife for an hour".

It is probably one of those fetishes that is best to fantasize about, rather than actually go thru with. lol

It probably DOES show that your hubby wants to experience some sort of sexual abuse/humiliiation. How about trying a strap-on on him? maybe buy a chastity cage for him, lock up his penis, and wear the key around your neck on a necklace...showing off the key in public--total humiliation when you explain the key to your girlfriends.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

I agree talker. Sounds like he wants to sub a little. Lots of ways he can try subbing before jumping into an actual cuckholding scene. 

Could always buy a big, black dildo and make him watch her use it because he doesn't satisfy her. 

I've read a few men who do participate in it. Not a lot, I'm not interested in the male sub version but the ones who are seem happy to have it.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Jessica78 said:


> Hello
> 
> I don´t quite get this for a number of reasons and not sure if we should give it a go or not...I can´t discuss it with my friends so really wanted some advice and understand what it´s all about..
> 
> ...


Ummm...


WOW!

Get your husband some counseling.

Watch your drinks 🍸 around him from now on as well!

Geesh!


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