# what do you do to pass the time?



## whatonearthnow (Aug 20, 2011)

this is a thread just to ask what people do to

Better thereselves?
Pass the time?
Keep distracted?
Deal with the giant pile of £$!" that is presently going on in life?
Meet new people?


For my two pennies, 

Individual counselling has started to really help with dealing with things, journalling and 

Pass the time / Distractions are presently coming in the form of TV, Sports (just starting), swimming, running, I'm tempted to go to gym to complement my weight loss with some actual fitness. Also beginning to tidy up house for sale etc.

Better myself - Reading ALOT of books/material on break ups and divorces and starting to understand my reaction to all of this.

I haven't done anything yet to help meet new people except for a single night out with mates. I don't think i'm ready but really don't know where to start with this one anyway...


what does/did everyone else get upto?

Cheers


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Honestly after loosing all this weight I started doing lots of pushup and started doing some light stuff at the gym still have not totally commited to the gym but constantly doing push ups to relieve tension.

Pass the time i have found no easy way to do this. I have been going different places visiting friends etc but also just spend alot of time at home listening to music just trying to get through this and stay sane.

I have not found many ways to keep distracted yet.

I deal with it by realizing it could always be worse and in the end I know I will be better and stronger. I realize things have to crumble in order to be rebuilt.

I have not got into the mood of meeting new people yet and dont know when I will feel comfortable doing that on any personal level anyway.


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## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

I have hit the gym some as well. Today I have lost 30 pounds in 30 days. Some due to just not eating much but also exercising. I do the gym at lunch at night I have started volunteering which has been really nice and gets you out of the house and meeting people at the same time.


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## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

Currently cleaning and sorting through the house tossing crap....looking for a job and trying to find my way through the gov't assistance maze..initially I went that route out of anger and to make sure CSE came down hard on him(self employed) ..now I am glad that I did....he stopped working to deal with OW issues.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Find SOMETHING you love...and just DO IT. 

Volunteer..... helping other people can help YOU!


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

Packing, throwing away old photos, bar hopping, don't eat much anymore...the weight is falling off in record numbers!


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I did lose a little weight...water weight ;o) not much exercising. I did whatever I could to stay busy. I went out with friends, by myself, prayed, worked, close to my family, but what really saved me was coming on here...the whole misery loves company theory. Coming to a site that was familiar and involved helped me tremendously. And as bad as I felt, it was a little relief to know that I was not alone. Then slowly life just took over and my other committments...i.e. preparing to move, moving, working projects, helping others deal with their issues took over and my problems seem to no longer be insurmountable. Good luck to us all!


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## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

I distract myself. I put my profile on a dating site but made it very clear I was not looking for a relationship, only friendship and people to talk to. I only choose to communicate with those who live overseas so there is little chance of us meeting or dating. It's been really helpful. I have met so many kind gentlemen, who apparently were lonely and happy to talk, with no pressure of sex, or dating or relationship. They boost my ruined self-esteem when they compliment me from time to time, and it gives me hope that one day I can move on and be with someone who will truly appreciate me. 

I also find looking at beautiful things to be really therapeutic for my mind at the moment. So I go to the free galleries and museums.


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## whatonearthnow (Aug 20, 2011)

yeah the weight thing - approaching 28lb in pretty much the same number of days... its starting to freak people I meet out - cant fill out my clothes.

My anxiety (over pretty much everything) is getting the better of me over the last couple of days - trying to stay distracted before I start up my worrying again.

I like the idea of volunteering, what kind of things / places do people usually help with? I seem to have endless amounts of adrenaline / energy to use up of an evening - may as well do something useful with it.

Reading and posting on here bizarrely helps me feel less anxious (being a bloke, my default assumption about sharing how I feel was that it would not help ...  but would be even further lost without this place.


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

Well besides the regular chores, yesterday and today I went to the library. I am not a big book reader so this is something new to me. I checked out a book on Father's Rights today.

One thing I do now that caused a bit of a problem in the marriage is spend time on the net. I do not have a whole lot else to do now. I cut back a few months ago. But since she left, I now get on and have read up on divorce. This messageboard. Chatting with someone online. This person has been thru 2 divorces and has been someone I have been able to talk to. Also have a friend that I used to work with that is having marriage problems too. The net can be addicting and bad but it can also be a tool for learning and support.


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## Daisybell (Sep 17, 2011)

Thank God for the internet. At least it makes you feel less cut off. I have a nine and a half month old baby so my days are filled with her, but that can be hard too as you spend your time trying to be happy and smiley when you really don't feel like it at all.

On nice sunny days I think it helps to get outside either for a walk or just a drive. But winter is approaching and the nights will be drawing in which is no fun.

Just breaking up my days helps a bit. Knowing that I have one reason to get out of the house everyday. Although I don't really feel like talking to people, I am trying to make the effort to contact friends and talk as I have a tendency to shut myself off.

It is hard. I am trying to lose all my baby weight so I can get back to a place where I like myself when I look in the mirror. I recently died my hair much blonder and have started putting make up on every day if I am going out. Little things like that make you feel a tiny bit better about yourself.

I suppose it is like AA. One day at a time. In fact I take one hour at a time. I am not able to move on too much yet as I am still in the family home, but once it is sold and we move on, hopefully I can start to feel a bit better. Reading and listening to music makes me feel calmer. I try to do gentle things as I feel very fragile at the moment. I cannot handle crowds and loads of noise and fun. I feel like I need to wrap myself in cotton wool.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

I work full time plus, and parent my teenage daughter, so that keeps me busy. During other times, I try to get a little exercise every evening - alternating yoga at home with walking every other day. I am a voracious reader, and that is something I am happily indulging since I left my husband. 

There is little open money for me to spend on fun, but I did sign up for a Buddhist discussion group that meets Monday eves for the next 8 weeks, and I will also be participating in a daylong women's retreat in November. I may also get involved in my daughter's school theater group. Parent meeting tomorrow night, and I'm sure they will be asking folks to get involved.

I am low on friends in this town, so I do have my lonely times. I'm hoping these activities will help me to meet people.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

Suemolly - what sight did you register on to meet people to chat with? That actually sounds really nice - just establishing some e-mail friendships with men with no dating/sex/pressure.


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## TryingToKeepItTogether (Sep 18, 2011)

Given my ordeal just started 3 weeks ago, I find myself spending a lot of time on the phone talking about everything. With a 3 1/2 year old and online schooling of course a great majority of my time has devotion already. But not having been a big phone chatter previously, I've learned to really open up to that because I feel as though I'd rather talk about it and talk about other things to get my mind off of it instead of sit around having too much time to think about it. Friends and family are a huge factor. I know shopping and preparing for the baby would be incredibly therapeutic, but given nothing is set it stone with him yet legally I am having to be more careful about the bank account than he apparently is. I'm hoping to also find other ways to cope online learning and educating myself on situations such as my own.


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

This weekend has been pretty damp and dreary. Hardly seen the sunshine at all.

Sunday is the worst. I ran to the store a couple of times because I forgot something. I glanced thru the paper. I read some of my book that I checked out yesterday. Most of all I am lonely and sad. I haven't been able to shake that feeling for over a month. WOn't get to see the son monday as I had planned because of wife saying I can't now even after we agreed. I will bring this up with my lawyer tomorrow.

I wish I had some real flesh and blood friends to lean on.


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