# Im at a loss... sorry very long



## RokChik88

Hello. I guess I should give a bit of background of my marriage so maybe someone can give me a bias opinion. I have been married to my husband for almost 6 years. We were childhood sweethearts, when I was 18 we decided to date and 2 weeks later were married. He was in the military so he lived on base and had a reputation of sleeping with anything that walked. I was supposedly the one that changed that.
When we moved back to PA we both went to college and thought things were great. I ended up having to quit school and a very good job when I gave birth to our now 4 year old. I stayed at home while he still went to nursing school. When he was just about done I found out I was pregnant again. So while I raised one and dealt with the home he was talking to girls on the internet and also always hanging out with girls he was in school with. (Being in his field I knew it was a predominantly female so I cant really complain).
One night he started sending naked pictures and having phone sex with girls he had met online I flipped. He said it was because I didn't pay attention to him.... I was 6 months pregnant and chasing a 2 year old all day so that was no excuse! After realizing he was in the doghouse he apologized.

Things got better until he started working. He began talking more to his coworkers telling them about our marriage and problems. Then around 3 months ago one coworkers seemed to become his best friend. They texted constantly, he was protective of his phone, and talked more to her than me. He told me her marriage was failing so he was just being a nice person, I decide to try and not get upset and invited her over to try to make friends and then it showed. They had chemistry, she hung on his every word. When i would talk she would give me looks like I was the devil. She invited him out to bars constantly and was going to their work to see him on her days off. I didn't feel comfortable so I looked at the phone records and seen they had texted 700 times in a month, talked on the phone for hours, and that they were sending snapchat pictures. Hers were usually that stupid kissy face and had a view down her shirt. I told him i felt it was inappropriate and he got defensive. Finally he said he talked to her and she admitted she was trying to sleep with him. Her marriage was bad and she felt he paid attention to her and she liked that so maybe they could be together. I am not sure if anything physical happened but an emotional affair was a defiant.
Then the straw that broke the camels back hit yesterday. He came in our bedroom around 5 and woke me up telling me he loved me. Then proceeded to get ready for work which he didn't have to be at until 7. I was so groggy I didn't put 2 and 2 together. He said he hadn't been to sleep that night because he was up cleaning and thinking (the house was still a mess) I went back to sleep then an hour and a half later he called telling me he still was on his way to work and that his Facebook was hacked. He said he sent me a picture of himself and someone hacked it and was sending it to people. I was a bit suspicious he left for work and should have been there already plus why was he taking naked pictures while driving. I said i would take care of it thinking it was a website that hacked or something. i went on to change his password and then i found it. He had stayed up all night talking to a girl he met on a porn site and had made plans to meet up and have sex before work! He spent over 100 dollars on my credit cards on her webcam site, attempted to western union her money and sent naked pictures of himself. The same picture he sent me. She gave him an address which is 2 streets away from us so stupid him thought she was real and he went there thinking he was going to get lucky. Finally he realized she was scamming him and told him that she was going to blackmail him by sending his pictures around, tell people he tried to rape her ect unless he paid her $1000. It was a mess

Regardless of his stupidity , he thought she was real the point is he was planning on having sex with another girl, he has talked to others, and has had plenty of opportunity to sleep around. He is distant and uninterested in my life or our kids. After yesterdays fiasco I told him to leave. He is staying with friends and I am only allowing him to come home and visit with our boys then he has to leave. I have contacted the marriage conciler but I don't know if that will help. I know a lot of people watch porn, its going to happen but to go ahead and take it to his level and lie what else is he doing. Was I too harsh?


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## Blonde

RokChik88 said:


> Was I too harsh?


No. Your response was perfect.


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## karolinat

I agree with Blonde. There is nothing wrong with your response.


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## LongWalk

Your husband should file a complaint. Blackmail is a crime. You should also contact your credit card company to get your $100 back. As to your marriage, well, your description, fiasco, may be on the mark.

Do you want to salvage your marriage?

The prospects don't sound good, but you don't have to decide immediately. Filing for divorce is a good tactic to give notice to your husband that he is a jerk. 

Can or do jerks change? Not without hard work and humility.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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