# Reality check. The truth and thoughts of men.



## lifeiscrazy (Jan 3, 2016)

So me and my husband started out with a hard new year. He got a little drunk and out of control needless to say we have been in conversation about the actions since. I am learning after almost 11 years of marriage how he really thinks, and well not sure if I like to know all of it.... kinda like to keep blinders on. 
Apparently all men love boobs this doesn't end in high school. He thinks the older he gets the less "fake" he needs to be, if a girl at a party flops her boobs out he said I am going to look all men would. Men regardless of what they say would all men love boobs basically they would like to see any every type. He says that doesn't mean he wants to have sex with them and it was hard to explain to make sense to me. Now right now all I can think is my husband wants everything attractive that walks by. Can you guys tell me if this is normal sorry to ramble.


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## Cleigh (Dec 5, 2013)

Well I'm female but I'm pretty sure everyone loves boobs. All females I know all admit to playing with their boobs just for the sake of it when they are bored. They are fun bags. Again, all the females I know can appreciate a good pair of boobs, nice cleavage. Doesn't mean we are turned on by it but boobs are just that, boobs. Like a good book or a fine wine. They are enjoyable no matter who you are. Lol


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## lifeiscrazy (Jan 3, 2016)

I don't know if it's the age group I am in or the state I live in but all women I have talked to about this makes me feel like my husband is a perv.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

OK, I'll bite. 

I am a man, and yes most if not all men like boobs, but NOT all men like huge boobs. We are all different.

As far as your friends thinking all men are pervs, the last I read most heterosexual women like a penis and do not hesitate to check them out when they see a guy walk by .

it's called biology. 

This notion that if you are married you are not supposed to find someone of the other sex attractive is crazy. Now acting on it is something else.

If your husband is slobbering and being obnoxious ogling every woman that walks by, that is a different problem. But if I were you I would not be threatened.

And by the way. There is something that most men like more than boobs. I'll leave that to your imagination.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

lifeiscrazy said:


> So me and my husband started out with a hard new year. He got a little drunk and out of control needless to say we have been in conversation about the actions since. I am learning after almost 11 years of marriage how he really thinks, and well not sure if I like to know all of it.... kinda like to keep blinders on.
> Apparently all men love boobs this doesn't end in high school. He thinks the older he gets the less "fake" he needs to be, if a girl at a party flops her boobs out he said I am going to look all men would. Men regardless of what they say would all men love boobs basically they would like to see any every type. He says that doesn't mean he wants to have sex with them and it was hard to explain to make sense to me. Now right now all I can think is my husband wants everything attractive that walks by. Can you guys tell me if this is normal sorry to ramble.


I agree with your husband, this is normal. 

Boobs are beautiful. Don't ask me why.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

So, what is the real basis behind this fight? What else is missing?

Now, he should be respectful to you, but if a random woman flops her boobs out I'm looking. In this scenario my wife will point it out and has before.


In before the goal posts move to nursing babies, weight, sex and other divisive red herrings to make this a 100+ post gender biased thread.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your husband is definitely normal.

Men like boobs. Men like women. Men like to look at good looking women. Men often think of having sex with a lot of the women they see. It might be a thougth that lasts 1-2 seconds. But it is there.

That's normal. It's how God made men.

A lot of women are like that about men too.

Your friends who think he is a perv are just weird. Why would it be perverted to have the thoughts that are 100% natural.

.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

I'm not a man, but I believe that all men like "boobs" and they always have. Some men control themselves and try not to look, but most don't care what anyone thinks about them and will stare to their hearts content if the woman leaves them out there for all to see.

We watched the movie of Jane Austen's book, "Mansfield Park" last night, and most of the women's breasts were bubbling out of their bodices. Not all women wore tight low bodices, but there were plenty who did. It is bizarre that men were expected to not stare, when the dresses made it look like women's breasts were about to literally fall out.

Same thing happens today, but men are no longer expected to be gentlemen and pretend to not see. Personally I believe that it isn't fair to expect a man to be a gentleman and not look, when the woman is not being a "lady" by exposing almost everything.

I do expect my own husband to look away instead of stare. But I'm sure it is difficult at times.


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## Relationship Teacher (Jan 3, 2016)

lifeiscrazy said:


> Can you guys tell me if this is normal sorry to ramble.


Men think about sex many times per day. Just because he is your man doesn't mean his mind gets rewired. Whether he says it or not, his eyebrows will be raised when he sees someone attractive. I don't necessarily agree with the need to be less "fake", however. We should always be authentic to ourselves. This is true on day one of meeting someone or on the 50th wedding anniversary.

Don't be afraid of the truth. He chose to be with you, no? Embrace the truth. Embrace him.

Relationship Teacher


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## lifeiscrazy (Jan 3, 2016)

I get that he told me that seeing things life that is not a big deal.ehat happened Was new years a ton of drinking happened and we all basically thought we were 20 again HA nope! So the guys all decided let's all strip down get in the hot tub basically non of the wives joined.. lol well one did I guess while in the hot tub the one couple in front of all our husband's started talking a lot sexual.. after they all got out and the night went on I was standing with him as they all talked. He told this women right in front of me that she looked good in the hot tub and it's cool she was down like the guys she was cool, he said my wife is number 1 but you're number 2 in my book for awhile. Not sure I took that to well then I flipped the next day. He told me I needed to not be so uptight when I drink and know he doesn't want to go home and sleep with these girls, that sometimes things like this spark sex. So basically he told me that viewing other women helps. But then he said no no no I don't need that to get me aroused.i am sorry but I just don't understand his thoughts.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Yes, it is normal. Actually, if he didn't have that reaction I would be concerned that he is gay or asexual.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

lifeiscrazy said:


> Apparently all men love boobs this doesn't end in high school. He thinks the older he gets the less "fake" he needs to be, if a girl at a party flops her boobs out he said I am going to look all men would. Men regardless of what they say would all men love boobs basically they would like to see any every type. He says that doesn't mean he wants to have sex with them and it was hard to explain to make sense to me. Now right now all I can think is my husband wants everything attractive that walks by. Can you guys tell me if this is normal sorry to ramble.


I'm a woman, am bi-sexual, and love boobs. I can't "not look", either. It is something I have to fight myself with constantly. If it wasn't rude to stare and drool, that is what my body would be trying to do in response to seeing boobs.

I'd say all straight men love women's bodies, but there are some who are unaffected by boobs. However, those guys would likely be highly distracted by legs or ass, so its the same thing.

If I were at a party and a woman flopped her boobs out, I would look, too. But it kind of sounds like your H crossed the line a bit more than that. Can you elaborate?

For instance, I would never be like "woo HOOO baby show me them boooooobs!" upon seeing a woman's breasts flop out at a party. I would not rush over and attempt to see them closer. I would not talk to her later and try to encourage her to flop them out again. (Though when I was single, I did do all of those things).

If your husband did more than just take an appreciative glance, then you probably have something to be upset about.

If it truly was just an appreciative glance, then you probably don't.

Does he love your boobs and give them lots of attention? Do you let him and want him to do that? I've found that I never feel jealous of another woman's boobs as long as my man is all about mine. Its fine for him to love seeing other boobs, as I love seeing them, too. But if he wasn't all over mine all the time I would be hurt at his attention toward others.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> But it kind of sounds like your H crossed the line a bit more than that. Can you elaborate?


This is why I asked what the fight was really about. I'm curious, she said he was out of control.


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## lifeiscrazy (Jan 3, 2016)

Well not out of control but should have kept his cloths on lol.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Sorry, missed this post.


> my wife is number 1 but you're number 2 in my book for awhile. Not sure I took that to well then I flipped the next day. He told me I needed to not be so uptight when I drink and know he doesn't want to go home and sleep with these girls, that sometimes things like this spark sex. So basically he told me that viewing other women helps. But then he said no no no I don't need that to get me aroused.i am sorry but I just don't understand his thoughts.


Honestly, this is EXACTLY what I expect a drunk guy pretending to be twenty to say. He tried to cover his butt, by putting you #1, but failed miserably. Then when you flipped out, he put up his guard and kept failing. 

It makes sense to me. The men acted like frat boy and there is ALWAYS at least one woman who wants to be one of the boys. Had it happen when I decided to go to an age appropriate party. Yep, liquor became involved and a couple of tops flew off. No, I do not drink. I like watching people make fools of themselves.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Men like boobs. Wait, this is news?


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## lifeiscrazy (Jan 3, 2016)

It makes sense to me. The men acted like frat boy and there is ALWAYS at least one woman who wants to be one of the boys. Had it happen when I decided to go to an age appropriate party. Yep, liquor became involved and a couple of tops flew off. No, I do not drink. I like watching people make fools of themselves.[/QUOTE]


Sorry I am confused.... I love watching people also I don't think he even knew I was standing there so I don't think he was covering his butt. The thing I was asking is if this is men's normal thought process I don't think men shut off all attractive women once married I get that.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lifeiscrazy said:


> I don't know if it's the age group I am in or the state I live in but all women I have talked to about this makes me feel like my husband is a perv.


Then the women you are speaking with are idiots. Sorry, but they are! 

I am a man and I like breasts. I also like legs and lady's bottoms, too. And knees. 

I also like thick thighs and larger bottoms on ladies, too.

But my wife is the sexiest girl I know! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Normal, if hearing it is a problem for you then stop him from getting sloshed at parties. It is unreasonable to expect him to be able to suppress what you don't want to hear when he is hammered.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Then the women you are speaking with are idiots. Sorry, but they are!
> 
> I am a man and I like breasts. I also like legs and lady's bottoms, too. And knees.
> 
> ...


Your wife is a sexist? How misogynistic of you! >


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

lifeiscrazy said:


> So me and my husband started out with a hard new year. He got a little drunk and out of control needless to say we have been in conversation about the actions since. I am learning after almost 11 years of marriage how he really thinks, and well not sure if I like to know all of it.... kinda like to keep blinders on.
> Apparently all men love boobs this doesn't end in high school. He thinks the older he gets the less "fake" he needs to be, if a girl at a party flops her boobs out he said I am going to look all men would. Men regardless of what they say would all men love boobs basically they would like to see any every type. He says that doesn't mean he wants to have sex with them and it was hard to explain to make sense to me. Now right now all I can think is my husband wants everything attractive that walks by. Can you guys tell me if this is normal sorry to ramble.


Please help me get invited to these parties where women are showing their boobs. In my 40's and most of that has been active socially and I have never seen this happen, short of a notorious skinny dipping episode some 15 years ago...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

technovelist said:


> Your wife is a sexist? How misogynistic of you! >


I hate my phone! Bloody Android autocorrect!

However my wife thinks that women should not get educated and she is not sure if women should vote.

Even though she had multiple qualifications herself.

Sometimes my wife confuses me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Wait wait wait wait wait what? He was frat boy drunk, he put you at #1 on his hottie list, OVER a naked lady in a hot tub and you are saying he made this statement not knowing you were around? You are correct, he wasn't covering his butt. He deemed you hotter than the naked lady that has you upset.

Are there other issues in the marriage? I think he could have handled it better the next morning, but his response sounds like exasperation after you flipped out. 

Thinking random hot people, naked or not, are alright to look at and do not directly impact your sexual attraction to your spouse is a belief held by both sexes.


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## lifeiscrazy (Jan 3, 2016)

Well I don't know if he knew I was around maybe he did. But regardless like you said she was naked and a women. Maybe I am just insecure with myself, I think it's hard getting older as a women losing things you had as a younger women. I don't think I would have felt so bad if my friends didn't make him sound so perv. And like their spouse would NEVER that's just wrong and the spouse should be the 1 and only. I guess I have to realize that me myself has had a looking eye hear and there.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

ScrambledEggs said:


> Please help me get invited to these parties where women are showing their boobs. In my 40's and most of that has been active socially and I have never seen this happen, short of a notorious skinny dipping episode some 15 years ago...


Are you single? Or are you talking about parties of monogamous married people? It doesn't tend to happen as much at married people parties. There has to be at least 50% single people around for shirts to come flying off.

I've seen this happen with married couples a few times, but it was only because that group had been friends going so far back they were actually that comfortable that they would get naked sometimes (hot tubs, skinny dipping, or even just dancing at a house party). At a normal mixer with some people who know each other well and some who don't (and most are married) this doesn't happen usually.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

lifeiscrazy said:


> Well I don't know if he knew I was around maybe he did. But regardless like you said she was naked and a women. Maybe I am just insecure with myself, I think it's hard getting older as a women losing things you had as a younger women. I don't think I would have felt so bad if my friends didn't make him sound so perv. And like their spouse would NEVER that's just wrong and the spouse should be the 1 and only. I guess I have to realize that me myself has had a looking eye hear and there.


I agree with your friends that any comment or encouraging to the naked woman was totally off base...his wife is there, he should know that a peek is one thing but trying to engage the woman is another.

OTOH, being blasted drunk means he was not able to think clearly. Do you think he would ever do this if not wasted? If not, then you're probably fine. If yes, then yes, you may have some issues with him being a jerk. (And either way, do you two really need to be getting THAT drunk?)

Is this something that has happened before? A one time thing and I wouldn't be too worried about it. A habit, yes I would worry.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> Are you single? Or are you talking about parties of monogamous married people? It doesn't tend to happen as much at married people parties. There has to be at least 50% single people around for shirts to come flying off.


my comment was tongue and check answer to if men like breasts. I should wrote:

"I don't know what men think about breasts in general, but as a man, please forward me all invitations to these parties where women are showing their breasts".


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

lifeiscrazy said:


> So me and my husband started out with a hard new year. He got a little drunk and out of control needless to say we have been in conversation about the actions since. I am learning after almost 11 years of marriage how he really thinks, and well not sure if I like to know all of it.... kinda like to keep blinders on.
> Apparently all men love boobs this doesn't end in high school. He thinks the older he gets the less "fake" he needs to be, if a girl at a party flops her boobs out he said I am going to look all men would. Men regardless of what they say would all men love boobs basically they would like to see any every type. He says that doesn't mean he wants to have sex with them and it was hard to explain to make sense to me. Now right now all I can think is my husband wants everything attractive that walks by. Can you guys tell me if this is normal sorry to ramble.


Hi lifeiscrazy,
really it's more generic than all guys look at boobs. People look at people. Yes looking or noticing is different than gawking. But really everybody looks. Let a woman drop her top in a room full of people and both men and women are going to look.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Legs and derrière for me. All men look. He's being truthful with you

Rack, fun bags, boobs are numero uno for most.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

People need to read your orginal thread before responding here methinks.


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/311057-sexually-hungry-others.html

You and your husband went to a party. He knew you were there. But he and a bunch of people jumped in to the hot tub naked and it went down hill from there.... all the while you are staking there fully clothed. But he acted as though you were transparent.

Your husband is right that all men like boobs.

His behavior at the party is unacceptable.

Now he's trying to talk fast and hard to confuse you so he can get away with what he did.

.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

lifeiscrazy said:


> I get that he told me that seeing things life that is not a big deal.ehat happened Was new years a ton of drinking happened and we all basically thought we were 20 again HA nope! So the guys all decided let's all strip down get in the hot tub basically non of the wives joined.. lol well one did I guess while in the hot tub the one couple in front of all our husband's started talking a lot sexual.. after they all got out and the night went on I was standing with him as they all talked. He told this women right in front of me that she looked good in the hot tub and it's cool she was down like the guys she was cool, he said my wife is number 1 but you're number 2 in my book for awhile. Not sure I took that to well then I flipped the next day. He told me I needed to not be so uptight when I drink and know he doesn't want to go home and sleep with these girls, that sometimes things like this spark sex. So basically he told me that viewing other women helps. But then he said no no no I don't need that to get me aroused.i am sorry but I just don't understand his thoughts.


How old are you and how long have you been married? You can chalk some of this up to the alcohol. He apparently felt relaxed enough to tell you his true feelings and be honest with you but what you have quoted above I would NOT like at all. Just because men like boobs and men like women does not mean he should be speaking to you about another woman, or vise versa, in this way. Sounds to me like a young man pushing to find out your boundaries and if you are not careful this man is going to have you thinking that his having an affair is just typical male behavior.


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## lifeiscrazy (Jan 3, 2016)

We are 34 and married 11 years. I don't think he is affair bound. I do think that he had this thought of not being like his friends that lie, but he needs to take a step back and think of my feelings. He didn't tell anyone to take their cloths off or tell a women to show boobs.he obviously just enjoyed the show.lol I am not letting him excuse his actions and told him he needs to think before he speaks he would be so mad of I told a man to whip it out! I think he honestly also thinks it's OK cause we are all close friends. We have had some great talks and he knows where I stand. As for the naked hot tub well sometimes I just think me. Are sooo... ugh sometimes! Jk


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
There are just no set rules for what "all" men want.

I'm not a particular fan of boobs, to me they are just part of a female body. I *like* beautiful female bodies, but no particular part stands out. My preference is generally for small to medium breasted women.

Yes, I notice scantily clad beautiful women near me, but I don't stare at them, and unless someone is watching my eyes very carefully they won't notice that I've looked.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

This thread needs pictures.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

lifeiscrazy said:


> We are 34 and married 11 years. I don't think he is affair bound. I do think that he had this thought of not being like his friends that lie, but he needs to take a step back and think of my feelings. He didn't tell anyone to take their cloths off or tell a women to show boobs.he obviously just enjoyed the show.lol I am not letting him excuse his actions and told him he needs to think before he speaks he would be so mad of I told a man to whip it out! I think he honestly also thinks it's OK cause we are all close friends. We have had some great talks and he knows where I stand. As for the naked hot tub well sometimes I just think me. Are sooo... ugh sometimes! Jk


I can see how this would make you uncomfortable, wonder how her H felt with all the other guys ogling her naked butt!
Nevertheless, it is perfectly natural for all guys (straight) to have this kind of reaction, however he should be more sensitive to your feelings. i wonder how he would feel if you had been the woman who had got in with all the other Husbands in the hot tub, ask him, if he is ok with it, then let it go, if not you will have made your point.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Your friends who think he is a perv are just weird. Why would it be perverted to have the thoughts that are 100% natural.


It's that social kiss up thing again.
"your friend" therefore they expect you to be supportive of their wrong ideas because they were supportive of everything you mentioned. (for the generic "you", not you personally.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

lifeiscrazy said:


> I don't know if it's the age group I am in or the state I live in but all women I have talked to about this makes me feel like my husband is a perv.


Nope. What you have here is the run of the mill ordinary man.


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## MichelleR (Jan 6, 2016)

I can see both points of view, although I can't imagine being at a party like that with all married couples. I'd say alcohol has the most to do with it. The last time I saw other people naked at a party was when I was in college, and I remember by boyfriend at the time commenting on how great another girls' boobs looked. I agreed with him because they did look great! 

I'm straight and married but I can't help but look at boobs either if they're hanging out or even exposing a decent amount of cleavage under a shirt. I think your husband was complimenting the girl more on her relaxed personality than anything else.


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## Tito Santana (Jul 9, 2015)

Boobs. I like them. I'm a guy. It seems to me, that when guys are alone, boobs tend to be high up the priority list in topics of conversation. I would say that there is no greater evidence of the power of boobs than all of the guys creating a giant sausage party in a hot tub (which your husband joined) over one set of boobs...

As far as how he acted at the party, I'd say it wasn't that appropriate. Sometimes, I marvel at the different level of boundaries between everybody's groups of friends (per their stories) on this site. I'm very comfortable with my group of friends, but I don't see any wives and husbands getting naked together, even after we've all been drinking. I'm not sure I'd jump in a hot tub with 5 guys' free floating junk , for just one set of boobs.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I'm a woman and I accept your H's explanation as pretty normal. Looking at what is on show, and appreciating it, is not the same as actively seeking it out or wanting to touch or have one's wild and woolly way with it.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

My wife loves boobs. I don't think it really even a male, female thing, or even a gay, straight thing. I think this is one of those that is an individual things. Boobs are a couple of those few things that transcend all traditional boundaries.


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## lifeiscrazy (Jan 3, 2016)

You know what pisses me off... when people make comments to me like oh that's not love, people in love don't make comments like that to other women. Also super disrespect that he said that.. do they not know how that makes another person feel!


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

I like boobs! If I see a great pair it's hard not to look, haha.

But it not a size thing for me. It's definitely more of how perky they are.

I'd take a naturally very perky B cup over a droopy DD 100% of the time.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

lifeiscrazy said:


> You know what pisses me off... when people make comments to me like oh that's not love, people in love don't make comments like that to other women. Also super disrespect that he said that.. do they not know how that makes another person feel!


I don't blame you for being pissed at those people making comments like those. It appears they are only trying to make you feel even more insecure, instead of being real friends helping you past it.

He was wrong for saying what he said, no doubt, but I don't know a man alive who hasn't said something he regretted when he was inebriated.

Heck, if we're all honest with ourselves, men and women, who wouldn't take a look at an attractive woman's breasts if it were thrown out there like that? What's not to appreciate about an attractive woman's anatomy?

Everybody, including men and women, check out other people with unclean thoughts. There's really no need to be insecure about it. It's biological, and can't be helped. "Look, but don't touch" is my motto.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

lifeiscrazy said:


> You know what pisses me off... when people make comments to me like oh that's not love, people in love don't make comments like that to other women. Also super disrespect that he said that.. do they not know how that makes another person feel!


Drunk people say stupid crap whether they are in love or not. The people telling you any different are liars or have their own problems they are trying to hide. Also, don't forget, some people LOVE to stir up trouble in other people's lives.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

What are married people (above the age of like 27) getting so sh*t faced they don't know what they are saying or doing? 

And I'm sorry but this:




> *He told this women right in front of me that she looked good in the hot tub and it's cool she was down like the guys she was cool, he said my wife is number 1 but you're number 2 in my book for awhile. *Not sure I took that to well then I flipped the next day.* He told me I needed to not be so uptight when I drink *and know he doesn't want to go home and sleep with these girls, that sometimes things like this spark sex.


Is just outright disrespectful (sorry if that makes you feel bad, but it's true) I am 2 years younger than you guys are and there is no way I would go get so wasted that I was telling my H that he need not be so uptight that I was telling another man that he was number 2 in my book. Drink, have a good time, but don't get so sloshed that you're acting like a damned fool. 

Clearly he cannot handle himself when he drinks like that, so now you know. 

I don't think he's abnormal or pervy. All men (and even women!) will look if boobs are thrown out there (or even if they aren't) - but he sure is immature to be getting that wasted and saying the things he did.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

He was being a drunk d*ckhead. He was disrespectful to you and inappropriate for What he told her. What level of undress were these people in? Completely nude or topless with underware?

I do not know why he would get in a hot tub with a bunch of drunk hard d*cks any way. If they were nude it is completely inappropriate. Would be no different than you being the girl in the tub with the guys while he was on the sidelines. He was giving sexual attention to someone other than you.

, God created us to be attracted to women(usually their bodies first...then mind/personality). Man kind would go extinct if it were not. But.................Christ said to take your thoughts captive....that is to keep us from sinning. You can look and think Damn they're fine! But do not keep looking and start thinking "I'd like to get a piece of that!" when you start salivating over her/him and fantasizing....its a sin. Christ said you have already committed adultry.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm actually concerned about mature adults getting naked in a hot tub at a party.

Your marriage and habits are very similar to an inactive thread called
"She cheated, I hate my life".

Check it out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

lifeiscrazy said:


> So me and my husband started out with a hard new year. *He got a little drunk and out of control *needless to say we have been in conversation about the actions since.* I am learning after almost 11 years of marriage how he really thinks, and well not sure if I like to know all of it.... kinda like to keep blinders on. *
> 
> Apparently all men love boobs this doesn't end in high school. He thinks the older he gets the less "fake" he needs to be, if a girl at a party flops her boobs out he said I am going to look all men would. Men regardless of what they say would all men love boobs basically they would like to see any every type. He says that doesn't mean he wants to have sex with them and it was hard to explain to make sense to me. Now right now all I can think is my husband wants everything attractive that walks by. Can you guys tell me if this is normal sorry to ramble.


I feel the type of atmosphere you are hanging in (drinking, skimpily dressed women....those 2 things combined - getting hammered has a way of letting it ALLLLLLL hang out... that he normally wouldn't be saying in front of others, including his wife... 

*Fact*.. men are very visual... it just IS what it is....blame testosterone... in fact if a man wasn't... I'd think there was something WRONG WITH HIM!! I'd think he was lying to save face -if asked.. called upon on his "real" thoughts...










But there is a balance.. a Man in love who has no other intentions... he wouldn't want to purposely hurt his GF or wife, he wouldn't feel the need to speak things where she will be comparing herself.. he'd want his woman to feel the most beautiful woman in a room....

Yet still.. this doesn't mean that he'd not get a slight thrill... fleeting as it may be...to see a hot woman with her knockers hanging out walking past...he's going to look !! and enjoy it too!! (I well know my husband would [email protected]#)...

Heck I'd be looking too...(& think to myself she is sure enjoying the attention!)... Women do not turn me on. 

It's really no different for me.. so I can't judge my husband on this.. if some hot looking man without a shirt was in that room.. I'd be thinking "OH now that is HOT"... to myself.... 

Does all of this need spoken... Of course not [email protected]# But to think we aren't wired to "think" like this or not look, just turn our heads...its just not reality...

There is a difference between Leering... gawking... and well ...looking... acknowledging that brings a slight thrill (if asked for honesty)....

But there is a *LINE of RESPECT*.. can't expect this to be honored when one is plastered though [email protected]#

At the end of the day.. it's important that we care that our spouse FEELS they are *our #1*... that no knockers we see out & about , or shirtless men ...makes our spouses feel "lessor" in our eyes.....that we are happy / content , and love & want each other above anyone else..

I do feel it's important -if a couple is open like this.. that such a couple validates & flirts with each other -this really enhances their connection...and our confidence that we are more than "enough"..... but still we're going to notice the opposite sex.. it's just not a threat...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I didn't notice King Kong but I doubt most women would have either with torpedoes in their face.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AussieRN (Mar 28, 2013)

Yes perving on boobs is completely normal for a bloke. Nothing to worry about.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> I didn't notice King Kong but I doubt most women would have either with torpedoes in their face.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lol Honestly, I didn't see King Kong, either. :grin2:


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## lessthennone (Jun 19, 2014)

Throughout time, curves have been what helped women get a mate. This was for thousands and thousands of years. 

Though the current cultural norms contradict this, those behaviors are still inside of us. 

Not only do I think it's normal, but I think it's expected. Now, there is a difference between turning a corner and glancing at a boob and consciously staring at a boob. I think that's where the societal norms make their presence known.


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## MyTurn (Oct 27, 2013)

king kong??? where?


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

I don't notice other women's boobs, nor do I notice penises. 
I catch my husband looking, sometimes, and it infuriates me. I don't understand how you can think sexually about someone you don't know personally or emotionally. 
I realize women are different but if you're married/in a relationship, what is the point of even looking? Especially if it upsets the spouse.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

stephscarlett said:


> I don't notice other women's boobs, nor do I notice penises.
> I catch my husband looking, sometimes, and it infuriates me. I don't understand how you can think sexually about someone you don't know personally or emotionally.
> I realize women are different but if you're married/in a relationship, what is the point of even looking? Especially if it upsets the spouse.


Signing a marriage certificate doesn't make you blind. People will always find other people attractive. You think that because your H married you that now he hates all boobs? No. It doesn't work that way. Men and women will continue to admire the opposite sex (or even the same sex for that matter) for as long as we live. 

If your H is being disrespectful by it, meaning he is gawking and making it obvious, then yeah...that's an issue, but as far as finding other women sexually attractive, sorry that's built it. 

You're trying to tell me that you don't find any other man on this planet sexually attractive? Like not a celeb? or someone else you've met?


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

staarz21 said:


> You're trying to tell me that you don't find any other man on this planet sexually attractive? Like not a celeb? or someone else you've met?


that's exactly what I'm saying. 

maybe if there weren't affairs, I could possible be ok with him thinking another woman was attractive but after that, nope, ship sailed.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

stephscarlett said:


> that's exactly what I'm saying.
> 
> maybe if there weren't affairs, I could possible be ok with him thinking another woman was attractive but after that, nope, ship sailed.


I get it. Mine cheated too, but that's not going to stop someone from being sexually attracted to the opposite sex if they are naturally attracted to them. It's completely natural to find other people attractive. The difference is, the people who lack the skills to control themselves with those thoughts. We both have husband's who can't. That doesn't mean that finding the opposite sex attractive is wrong. It means their actions were wrong in pursuing those women.


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