# wife cheating?



## Asian

My wife and I were married over 8 years now with 3 beautiful kids. My wife is very attractive young looking woman in early 30s. She has full figure body with pretty smiles that attracts many male attention wherever she goes.

Just last month she told me that we need a break for each other to see we really love each other.... I was like what? but I was like whatever and did not think anything of it at the time but few weeks later I realized we have not made love in awhile and I try to but I got rejected, I ask why and she said "you remember we are taking a break" I try and try to seduce her but she did not open her legs to me that night. I even offered just to have oral to make her feel good but she rejected for the first time in our marriage.

I did get paranoid and check her phone record and her facebook that next day and found out she was having many hour long conversations, I called that number and found out it was a male.
Also on the facebook she was telling her some of her friend that she is seeing someone very young..

I confronted her and she said he is just friend and what in a world I'm gonna do with 22 years old!! I told her just let me know if she had or have an affair but she says that is not why we are not taking break. she just want to find out if we really love each other or we are together just because we have kids together. I believed her at the time but she changed her password for her phone and the facebook account.
I really want to believe her but in an other hand I feel like she is not letting me get in her pants because someone else is.....Plus all these problem I also have PE (premature ejaculation) problem and I was not able to please my wife in this past 5 years or so. She's been telling me to go get help but I ignored for all this time but I thing I'm going to get help now...but maybe its late now...

Still no sex for after few weeks. I'm a healthy male in mid 30s and I needed to masturbate alternate to my wife I needed to use something and I ended up using her used worn dirty thong for material for me to masturbate.. Sorry if you think I'm sick but 
that was a only thing made me get going. So instead of my wife I was making love to her worn thong underwear.

Just recently, She went out with her girlfriend for night out and she came home after mid-night next day she took shower and she went to work, I felt horny and I was searching for the dirty thong of her but I could not find it anywhere......Did she came home with no pantie? I remember seen her wearing one when she was getting ready to go out.....

What is this mean? She left her thong some where????
Is she hiding it because she had sex with someone else? 
She knows I use her thong to masturbate because she questioned me and I told her Yes and explained why.


----------



## the guy

Your wifes new boy friend does not want your semin on his girlfriends panties so she is hiding them from you.

I suggest you confront her boyfriend and since you most likely bought your wife those panties you can do what ever you want with them.


----------



## the guy

I say get rid of the wife and keep the panties


----------



## Entropy3000

So when your wife says she wants a break from your marriage. Do not say whatever. Deal with it, right then and there.


----------



## Halien

As a reminder, no hijacking threads with troll accusations. Report the post or ignore it. Also, multiple bans were initiated for insults and disrespectful comments that violate forum rules.


----------



## AlphaHalf

Maybe she didn't come home wearing the panties at all. She knows what you do with it. Also if you did find it would you use it to masturbate with another mans semen in it????????
If all you said is true then you already know the reasons why she is cheating. (PE, panty fetish) She is not satisfied and found a younger man to make her happy. I also think your sex issue makes her not respect you and the marriage. Whatever you decide to do about your marriage, you also need to seek therapy for yourself in the process.


----------



## Asian

I'm planning to ask my wife to show me her phone so that I can go through her tex message and etc. to see if she is telling me truth. She keep saying she has nothing to hide from me but the same time she is tired of me asking about her young boyfriend and I just kept asking her if she had an affair or having one but she keeps denying. I even told her it's okay if she did or if she is we can work best for our family from that point. I just want the truth and if she can't show me her phone....that means she is a lire.
Do you think this is a good idea???


----------



## MattMatt

> Just last month she told me that we need a break for each other to see we really love each other.... I was like what?


I agree with you: "*What???*"

Cheater talk. Sorry, mate.


----------



## gdtm0111

It sounds to me, that you already know the truth. From your standpoint, I understand your need to have her tell you anyway.

In my case, I had to read her text messages and act like evevrything was fine. Its not easy, but the texts gave me insight to what was really going on. As mentioned on other threads, get a VAR for her car and possibly in the house where she takes her private calls.

You can try talking to her friends/family, however I was told if I did that I was an even bigger jerk than she thought. So if you are going to tell her family, don't inform her ahead of time.


----------



## TDSC60

No - never tell her it is OK if she is having an affair.

BTW when a wife goes out with panties on for a night out and comes home without panties - then she did something that required the panties to come off and then she lost them in the confusion. So it looks like she is having a sexual affair with someone. Plus you say she told her friends that she was seeing a younger man. How much prove do you want that something is happening?

I have never heard one spouse say we need to take a break to decide if we still love each other without a third person involved somewhere.

Even if she opens up her contacts, she has had ample time to delete everything.

You need to install a keylogger on her computer so you can find out what she is doing.


----------



## helpwanted

Asian said:


> She keep saying she has nothing to hide from me but the same time she is tired of me asking about her young boyfriend and I just kept asking her if she had an affair or having one but she keeps denying.
> Do you think this is a good idea???


If she had nothing to hide then she wouldn't have a password on her phone and she wouldn't have to hide her facebook password from you. Matter of fact if she has nothing to hide she wouldn't have changed the passwords after you confronted her.
I think your gut is right. Don't ignore it you will be sorry.


----------



## the guy

Asian said:


> I'm planning to ask my wife to show me her phone so that I can go through her tex message and etc. to see if she is telling me truth. She keep saying she has nothing to hide from me but the same time she is tired of me asking about her young boyfriend and I just kept asking her if she had an affair or having one but she keeps denying. I even told her it's okay if she did or if she is we can work best for our family from that point. I just want the truth and if she can't show me her phone....that means she is a lire.
> Do you think this is a good idea???



Bad idea, wait for her to fall asleep then look at it. try to hack her password before you ask her to see her phone. She might fall asleep with out turning it off.

If you do have to ask her for the phone tell her to give you the phone and you will enter the password. Do not let her walk away.

If she does you then have your answer. be aware that she will try to delete the text before she gives it to you.


----------



## the guy

Stop telling your wife its OK that she has or is having an affair because it is not ok....ok?


----------



## Asian

so I ask for phone access but she denied. she said that's just stupid....whatever.

She is hiding something and we agree that we need to separate for awhile.

I suggest go see MC but she doesn't want it....

Told our oldest daughter what's going on between us and that was the hardest.....

This sucks...but I need to step up for my kids.

Funny thing is when she came home from work tonight, she brought home the missing thong from last night.... I don't get it but this is just too much me to worry about so I just let it go.


----------



## Shaggy

Separation is just giving her freedom to cheat more.

So now you know she saw him today.


----------



## sandc

You can get a semen test kit. Stop masturbating with her panties. Then test her panties for semen. If you aren't doing it, and it's there, it's not yours is it? You can then further get it DNA tested and prove it's not yours. If it's not yours, then you know. File for divorce pack her things and ask her where she'd like you to have it delivered.


----------



## tom67

sandc said:


> You can get a semen test kit. Stop masturbating with her panties. Then test her panties for semen. If you aren't doing it, and it's there, it's not yours is it? You can then further get it DNA tested and prove it's not yours. If it's not yours, then you know. File for divorce pack her things and ask her where she'd like you to have it delivered.


Sandc has given you a good plan. Are you going to man up and follow through?


----------



## OldWolf57

Look man, its time to file D. What good does it do you to separate so she can bring this guy to your house..
In fac, why would YOU let a cheater remove you from the home you paying for ?? If she wants a break, then she has unil the D is final to find out.
Asian you say, then you can afford a PI to catch her. Why you need to I can't see. 
Any grown sane person can see what this is. So why are you pretending to NOT know. Do you really think she is going to admit she is a low down cheater ??
What I will never understand is why GROWN men play this denial game. 1 kid 19 kids, what good is a man without respect ??

She wants a break, then tell her to move out, for YOU will not have a woman living in YOUR house sleeping with another man, and NOTHING she say is going to convince you different.
Also start exposing her to family NOW, do not give her the chance to lie about your marriage.


----------



## akashNil

No woman would like to be replaced/challenged by her panty. You need to give her respect too. 

But probably it is too late now. You don't need more evidence. Just separation.


----------



## bigtone128

MattMatt said:


> I agree with you: "*What???*"
> 
> Cheater talk. Sorry, mate.


yep i agree - she's cheating....give her alot of space - bye bye


----------



## thegatewalker

She is cheating a statement like that says hey I have someone else in mind all ready.


----------



## Loveandpizza

I disagree with wasting your time getting evidence of your wife's affair. She is showing you she doesn't love you, let her go. SHe will find out later that the grass isn't greener.


----------



## Asian

So we had a long talk after kids went to bed.
She wants separate but both of us be there for the kids, How we going to do that? We don't know what to do.

You know guys I still take back my wife even she cheated on me, I have bad PE problem really bad like under 30 sec and done and she had to deal with that for all these years but I didn't do anything to better my self for her until now. She is very sexual women and she had many relationships base on sex before our marriage, I know this because she told me. When I met her I was able to last much longer and use to make her happy at least once or sometimes 3 times in one round but things change after we had our first kid for some reasons I became a minute man and now the under minute man. Now I'm going to see the specialist in few days to see if I can cure my PE problem.

My wife worn me that just because I get cure it doesn't mean she will spread her legs to me automatically. I told her that it is good for me to get fix ether with or without you, when I said that I could see in her face that she did not like my comment.

Knowing her we probably going to have sex. She likes that sinful sex...I forgot to write but when I met her she was still married to her ex husband but she had no problem giving it to me. I will kick her out of the house like a rag but I can't because she is a mother for my kids.

I will still take her back even she already cheated for sake of my kids but she has to open up to me first and tell me the truth.


----------



## Pault

Man o man. You are letting her rule the whole issue and shes doing all the controlling. The fact that she is the mother of your shildren means shes needs to be there for them and not ripping apart the marridge. Ok youve had a PE issue. In a real marridge you BOTH work together to resolve issues and work around those that nature will not let you resolve. You dont go getting a younger lover. The fact that there is a history of her cheating before is an issue. You knew her attitude to marridge. The fact you dont know what to do about a seperation concerns most. Get legal help. The "we need a seperation" quote is another way of saying Im in line for a sexual experiene and want to do it and want you out of the way so I dont feel guilty. If she nothing tohide she show the phone and facebook contents without queston.... She hidding everything from you and you need to play the game more cunningly. You talk about her "Knowing her we probably going to have sex. She likes that sinful sex". WHAT??? If shes having sex with another guy what the heck about STIs that he could be passing to her everytime they meet. 
If my W came home without her panties and I know they were there on the way out the walls of hell wouldnt stop me getting to the truth. Even if shed had a toilet accident Id get to the truth. 
You really need to get the legal advice, find out your legal rights and put the game in play. Keep plans close to your chest. Who pays her cell bill? you? If its you, stop the account and stop her access to the money and see where she goes with that. Make sure the children are fully financed as they will see father not mother is the main carer.


----------



## bigtone128

Asian said:


> You know guys I still take back my wife even she cheated on me,
> 
> I will still take her back even she already cheated for sake of my kids but she has to open up to me first and tell me the truth.


thats the problem...........she married you for better or worse....get your head on straight....not hers....
say goodbye to the cheater she's a cheater


----------



## PBear

Asian said:


> So we had a long talk after kids went to bed.
> She wants separate but both of us be there for the kids, How we going to do that? We don't know what to do.
> 
> You know guys I still take back my wife even she cheated on me, I have bad PE problem really bad like under 30 sec and done and she had to deal with that for all these years but I didn't do anything to better my self for her until now. She is very sexual women and she had many relationships base on sex before our marriage, I know this because she told me. When I met her I was able to last much longer and use to make her happy at least once or sometimes 3 times in one round but things change after we had our first kid for some reasons I became a minute man and now the under minute man. Now I'm going to see the specialist in few days to see if I can cure my PE problem.
> 
> My wife worn me that just because I get cure it doesn't mean she will spread her legs to me automatically. I told her that it is good for me to get fix ether with or without you, when I said that I could see in her face that she did not like my comment.
> 
> Knowing her we probably going to have sex. She likes that sinful sex...I forgot to write but when I met her she was still married to her ex husband but she had no problem giving it to me. I will kick her out of the house like a rag but I can't because she is a mother for my kids.
> 
> I will still take her back even she already cheated for sake of my kids but she has to open up to me first and tell me the truth.


What reason did she give you for cheating on her husband with you? Assuming I'm reading that correctly.

C


----------



## OldWolf57

Well I'm out peeps. Really can't stand the defeatest attitude. Besides, he married a cheater, just the karma bus settling the score.

That young kid is young strong and can go all night long. While hubby is sniffing for kicks.
Besides he don't sound all that tore up over it


----------



## Kallan Pavithran

Asian said:


> So we had a long talk after kids went to bed.
> 
> Knowing her we probably going to have sex. She likes that sinful sex...*I forgot to write but when I met her she was still married to her ex husband but she had no problem giving it to me.* I will kick her out of the house like a rag but I can't because she is a mother for my kids.
> 
> *I will still take her back even she already cheated for sake of my kids *but she has to open up to me first and tell me the truth.


Karma is a *****..........
You were doing it with her ex husband and someother guy is doing the same to you.

When you are so sure that you will take her back then why this drama? She is already with you, if you mean after separation then stop the separation and stop asking questions, you know she is banging OM, you are ok with her banging OM so you are ready to take her back when she had enough fun. 

But what will you do if the enough for her is yrs or she find some one new more exciting and fun than current OM?, so why you are asking her for truth? Is it to hear the glory details?

If you are not ok with her cheating then stop enabling her.


----------



## Kallan Pavithran

PBear said:


> What reason did she give you for cheating on her husband with you? Assuming I'm reading that correctly.
> 
> C


reason may be that her ex lasted only for 30 seconds


----------



## arbitrator

Time for you to "check-out" on your wife. After all, she checked-out on you an awfully long time ago! 

All that she's demanding your presence for anymore is so she can keep up her steady diet of cake-eating!

File for the D, pronto! And make it on your terms!


----------



## SadandAngry

You sound surprised to find she is cheating on you, even though she cheated with you. What? Did you think the ex deserved it? Did you think you were different, special somehow? That being with you would magically fix her sense of right and wrong? Do you still feel different than her ex? Those are useless questions to you now, so what are you going to do moving forward? I think you should kick her out, divorce and raise your kids alone. She won't change.


----------



## Asian

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Asian

I questioned her again and again why?why? Why? And she told me I'm just pushing her away even more.
Telling my kids whats going on was the hardiest thing I ever done.
I feel like I failed...if I was satisfying my wife as a woman this would never happen. She keep saying she is happy as a mother but not as my wife. She saids she didnt even want to be home at all with me all these years which I didn't even know. She saids Im a good father but boring and jerous and love for me was long gone.
It's much easier if we didnt have kids together. Sorry kiddles daddy failed to make mommy happy so you guys have go through this pain. I thought being a good dad was enough to keep your mommy.


----------



## ArmyofJuan

Asian said:


> I questioned her again and again why?why? Why? And she told me I'm just pushing her away even more.


Why, because it feels good to be in an affair. It’s fun for her and she is right, you are acting needy, clingy, and insecure which are HUGE turnoffs. She doesn’t care about your feelings.


> I feel like I failed...if I was satisfying my wife as a woman this would never happen.


No, don’t blame yourself. If she had morals this wouldn’t have happen. Nobody can make someone else have an affair, this is her fault. She knew how you were before she married you so she knew what she was getting into. This is HER fault.

Being is an affair causes people to think their marriage is worse than it actually is. She’s re-writing history. 



> She keep saying she is happy as a mother but not as my wife. She saids she didnt even want to be home at all with me all these years which I didn't even know. She saids Im a good father but boring and jerous and love for me was long gone.


She has no respect for you and you acting the way you are towards her right now is part of the reason. You need to stand up for yourself and not let her get away with this. It’s in your best interest to leave her and get a divorce.


> It's much easier if we didnt have kids together. Sorry kiddles daddy failed to make mommy happy so you guys have go through this pain. I thought being a good dad was enough to keep your mommy.


No, your marriage is over because she cheated, you didn’t do anything wrong. STOP BLAMING YOURSELF. You are not the problem, she is. She is not this great person you think she is.


YOU DID NOT MAKE HER CHEAT. You just need to accept your wife is not a good person. You’ll find someone else.


----------



## Dad&Hubby

Asian said:


> I questioned her again and again why?why? Why? And she told me I'm just pushing her away even more.
> Telling my kids whats going on was the hardiest thing I ever done.
> I feel like I failed...if I was satisfying my wife as a woman this would never happen. *She keep saying she is happy as a mother but not as my wife.* She saids she didnt even want to be home at all with me all these years which I didn't even know. She saids Im a good father but boring and jerous and love for me was long gone.
> It's much easier if we didnt have kids together. Sorry kiddles *daddy failed to make mommy happy so you guys have go through this pain.* I thought being a good dad was enough to keep your mommy.


So she can be a mom without being a wife....easy peasy. It's called DIVORCE.

You make it sound like making your wife happy is flipping a switch and she's happy and you failed at something that easy. She's a woman who's never satisfied with what she has (hence cheating on hubby #1 with you, now that she has you, she's looking for the next thrill ride) and is constantly looking for the next thing to "obtain". She's a cat constantly looking for the mouse. You can't "make" that happy.


----------



## akashNil

Asian said:


> I questioned her again and again why?why? Why? And she told me I'm just pushing her away even more.
> Telling my kids whats going on was the hardiest thing I ever done.
> I feel like I failed...if I was satisfying my wife as a woman this would never happen. She keep saying she is happy as a mother but not as my wife. She saids she didnt even want to be home at all with me all these years which I didn't even know. She saids Im a good father but boring and jerous and love for me was long gone.
> It's much easier if we didnt have kids together. Sorry kiddles daddy failed to make mommy happy so you guys have go through this pain. I thought being a good dad was enough to keep your mommy.


So now you are gonna cry? or do something manly?


----------



## Shaggy

Sorry for what you are learning here. If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

Your wife is a serial cheater and you are the OM from her last marriage.

Good luck for your kids sake, I'm outta here.


----------



## Asian

Well, when I met her she was still married but she was working on getting devorce but we were making love like nothing.
She kept saying she didnt love him anymore so at the time I didn't thought anything of it but I'm on other side now and I'm getting killed.
How can such a beautiful good hearted woman I was with for 8 years can hurt me so bad and our kids.
I told her whatever she is doing is worth breaking up the family and she got outraged and blaming on me about my recent PE issue. Even now I'm getting help by doctor and there are way to improve in the department but she saids it's late. 
If she wants to ride the young man that's fine but she wont have me when she realized what she did.... Have good life. I'm still giving you chance but my patient is running out really running out.
Don't worry guys I will never hurt people physically or anything specially my kids mom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## loveisforever

Asian said:


> Well, when I met her she was still married but she was working on getting devorce but we were making love like nothing.
> She kept saying she didnt love him anymore so at the time I didn't thought anything of it but I'm on other side now and I'm getting killed.
> How can such a beautiful good hearted woman I was with for 8 years can hurt me so bad and our kids.
> I told her whatever she is doing is worth breaking up the family and she got outraged and blaming on me about my recent PE issue. Even now I'm getting help by doctor and there are way to improve in the department but she saids it's late.
> If she wants to ride the young man that's fine but she wont have me when she realized what she did.... Have good life. I'm still giving you chance but my patient is running out really running out.
> Don't worry guys I will never hurt people physically or anything specially my kids mom.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You do not need patience. You have already been checked out by your wife. 

Her Ex is #1 guest,
You are #2,
She is looking for #3 now. 

" beautiful good hearted woman"? Give me a break! 

You are weak and blind. Be ready for the divorce.

If you do find a "good hearted woman" who respect you, you may have your PE cured with your really caring wife.


----------



## Asian

loveisforever said:


> You do not need patience. You have already been checked out by your wife.
> 
> Her Ex is #1 guest,
> You are #2,
> She is looking for #3 now.
> 
> " beautiful good hearted woman"? Give me a break!
> 
> You are weak and blind. Be ready for the divorce.
> 
> If you do find a "good hearted woman" who respect you, you may have your PE cured with your really caring wife.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Asian

You might be right. My ex girlfriend worked with me so that I became beter love maker.H
She used to stop moving when I was about to explode and few sec later she start to move again and do the same until I could not hold anylonger. By doing this gave endurance and I was able to last much longer before. My ex was the one that gave me confidence and gave me enough practices to last like a normal guy.

But my current wife is not a smooth rider like my ex was she is the extream pounder and she always wanted hard. She gets mad when I stop and used to tell me just cum already and I used just
cum. This practices made me a extream PE man


----------



## SweetAndSour

Your wife is a narcissist, covert type probably.

Google "narcissitic abuse". You'll find your marriage history and your future with her.

Sorry dude, you are damned.


----------



## DavidWYoung

So you are asking WHAT question exactly?


----------



## Pault

You state " she got outraged and blaming on me about my recent PE issue. Even now I'm getting help by doctor and there are way to improve in the department but she saids it's late." You appear to have had this issue before herwe coming long (as you said your previous partner took more time over sex. If your W cannot work with you and help use desensitising agents to stall the orgasm then your going to have the issue. I guess everyone here sees the same. She wanst out of the previous marridge and took you on, you and her were having sex whilst she was still in a marridge state. You only had her would at that point she was actually estranged from her previous husband, she may have been on a seperation point where the other party thought that there was still hope. For her to use your PE issue to hit you means there is little for her to pick up and use as a good reason to cheat. Im afraid you met someone who is looking for a bed partner and is finding any male to meet her needs. You may as well consider this a final notice from her. Try starting the D procedure, get the advice and see what you can/cant do and then serve her - Shes acting single so make her single but protect yourself and the children finacially at all costs


----------



## Asian

Pault said:


> You state " she got outraged and blaming on me about my recent PE issue. Even now I'm getting help by doctor and there are way to improve in the department but she saids it's late." You appear to have had this issue before herwe coming long (as you said your previous partner took more time over sex. If your W cannot work with you and help use desensitising agents to stall the orgasm then your going to have the issue. I guess everyone here sees the same. She wanst out of the previous marridge and took you on, you and her were having sex whilst she was still in a marridge state. You only had her would at that point she was actually estranged from her previous husband, she may have been on a seperation point where the other party thought that there was still hope. For her to use your PE issue to hit you means there is little for her to pick up and use as a good reason to cheat. Im afraid you met someone who is looking for a bed partner and is finding any male to meet her needs. You may as well consider this a final notice from her. Try starting the D procedure, get the advice and see what you can/cant do and then serve her - Shes acting single so make her single but protect yourself and the children finacially at all costs


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Asian

So I've been doing 180 rule thing on her some of you may say it's too late if she's already engaged physically with other but I can't just bail out on my kids even hurts me like hell everyday seeing her acting like nothing had happened. I can't kick her out whose gonna take kids to school?? Whose gonna take care the youngest when I'm at work? 
After studying D law in my state I could actually take full custody of kids if I can prove her infidelity. 

She keep saying whatever happens between us we need to be there for kids. Yes I know that kids need both of us but she think I just gonna say sure to the join custody but I don't think so Ii want to teach her lessen and I'm leaning Toward playing hardball!

She would never guess this I'm always the nice guy but not this time.
Broke my happiness but more than that you broke my kids heart and nobody hurt my kids and yes you will pay for it!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Asian

she broke and told me she is having an affair.
she did not have sex yet she said but I think she is BS.

What do I do now?


----------



## bigtone128

Asian said:


> she broke and told me she is having an affair.
> she did not have sex yet she said but I think she is BS.
> 
> What do I do now?


it is BS - sounds to me like she wants back after her fling - demand complete honesty.


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

She's repeating her cycle. She IS sleeping with that other man. Your hearing the tickle truth.

My ex h cheated on me and one of the women he slept with moved in 3 days after I left. This woman knew me from HS and knew we were married and in MC trying to work on the marriage. Now he's doing the same thing to her, he's cheating on her and sleeping with many other women. She chooses to allow it and stays with him.

I remarried a few years later. I'm very happy now and I have a husband I fully trust.

Your wife is like my ex h, a serial cheater. Serial cheaters never stop cheating. I left my ex 19 years ago and he never stopped cheating.


----------



## Asian

If she wants our family back what can I do to trust her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TDSC60

You are getting trickle truth. It is standard cheater script. She will admit to a little more each time. No sex becomes sex becomes sex only one time, then maybe two or three times, then several months of regular sex. 

Think back. Around the time sex stopped with you is the time she started sex with him. She did not want to cheat on her lover with her husband.

You have to decide what you want to do now. 

Do you want her back? 

Can you see yourself staying with her?


----------



## SadandAngry

You can not trust her, because she will never be trustworthy. But you don't care, do you? So take her back and be miserable.


----------



## sandc

Full access to her mobile phone - no password ever again - she never deletes a text again. If she refuses, it's over.

Full access to all her email accounts even work accounts if any. You can check at any time. If she says no, it's over.

She tells you where she is at all times. If she doesn't want to, it's over.

She writes a no contact letter to the other man. She sends it to him certified mail. If she doesn't want to, it's over.

She writes a detailed letter to you detailing everything she did including dates and times and any other information you want. She leaves nothing out. If you find out she didn't go full disclosure in the letter then it's over.

She throws out all the clothes she wore for the other man, gets rid of any and all mementos. If she refuses, it's over.

Do you see a pattern here? You have to make sure she knows you mean business.


----------



## TDSC60

So she has asked you what you want to do now.

It would depend on if she is being completely honest with you about her affair. She must truthfully answer all the questions you have. How did they meet. What lies she told you to secretly see him. Where did they go. Why did she do this to you. I'm sure you have other questions.

It would also depend on if she is remorseful for what she has done. She cheated, she should be begging you to stay with her. She should be begging you to forgive her and saying she will do anything to keep the family together.

You do not have the truth yet. She probably had sex with him. It will take a long time before you can trust her and you can only do it if she commits to doing what you need her to do to regain her trust. You already know that you cannot ever trust her totally as you did before. That is gone forever. But if she is truly committed, it is possible.


----------



## Asian

TDSC60 said:


> So she has asked you what you want to do now.
> 
> It would depend on if she is being completely honest with you about her affair. She must truthfully answer all the questions you have. How did they meet. What lies she told you to secretly see him. Where did they go. Why did she do this to you. I'm sure you have other questions.
> 
> It would also depend on if she is remorseful for what she has done. She cheated, she should be begging you to stay with her. She should be begging you to forgive her and saying she will do anything to keep the family together.
> 
> You do not have the truth yet. She probably had sex with him. It will take a long time before you can trust her and you can only do it if she commits to doing what you need her to do to regain her trust. You already know that you cannot ever trust her totally as you did before. That is gone forever. But if she is truly committed, it is possible.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Asian

I've kind of staying strong trying not to call, text, email and such.
She is asking me " what do u want me to do? I'm confused and don't know what to do"
What should I tell her? Smart me saids play hard to get, like telling her im going to do samething she is doing go out and meet people.
Or my self which is not smart would tell her my hearts out saying if you ging to change I will accept you back but she might take an advantage of me.
I always bust out D word but that's my last card.
I could probably take advantage of her now and just ask for sexual favor but Im smarter than that.

What should I tell her? Just need some opinion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## the guy

Tell her you will not tolorate her behavior and you want all contact to stop if she want to save her marriage.

You want her to write a no contact letter to the OM stating how important her marriage is and can no longet contact him and to stop any attempts to contacting her

You want all her paswords to her computer and cell phone.

You want no more girls night out until trust is regained.

You want her to come home right after work if she works.

You want to know who the affair partner is and how long has it been going on.


If she is having an affair with a coworker she has to leave her job.


----------



## the guy

I forgot two really important things, she must get tested for sexually transmitted deseases (STD) and make an apointment for individual counseling to learn how to affair proof her marriage.


----------



## Asian

Thanks guys and ladies. This site is helping me going through this hardiest time in my life even though tears are floating out while typing words in to my Iphone at Sturbucks right now. If I could just hate her it make it easier but I still love her as my kids mom and as my wife.
But even though she broke out crying a out affair she still didn't tell me what she want.
I got to know what she want.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

Asian said:


> I've kind of staying strong trying not to call, text, email and such.
> She is asking me " what do u want me to do? I'm confused and don't know what to do"
> What should I tell her? Smart me saids play hard to get, like telling her im going to do samething she is doing go out and meet people.
> Or my self which is not smart would tell her my hearts out saying if you ging to change I will accept you back but she might take an advantage of me.
> I always bust out D word but that's my last card.
> I could probably take advantage of her now and just ask for sexual favor but Im smarter than that.
> 
> What should I tell her? Just need some opinion.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


sandc and the guy and others have told you!Also what do YOU want not her.


----------



## Shaggy

Tell her what you want is her to stop cheating and be fully open and transparent. Or you file for D.


----------



## sandc

And demand she start going to counseling to figure out why she wants to cheat.


----------



## turnera

Asian said:


> If she wants our family back what can I do to trust her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 She hands you all her passwords or removes them.
She hands over her phone and computer ANY time you ask, without hesitation.
She goes nowhere without telling you first so you can verify.
She puts a GPS in her car so you can verify.
She agrees to a polygraph and sets it up.
She finds a marriage-friendly, affair-savvy MC and makes the first appointment.
She keeps GOING to MC until you are satisfied.
She spends 15 hours a week with you in non-work/household/kids activity.

If she won't agree to any of these, send her packing.


----------



## turnera

Asian said:


> I got to know what she want.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You've got this wrong. You don't need to know what SHE wants. You need to know what YOU want. If she is worthy, she will do whatever it takes to BECOME what you want (passwords, etc.).


----------



## Asian

I wasn't sure I should be soft and being the mr.nice guy like I always was but I went the other way and told her if you keep seeing this guy I will do the same! She didnt expect that coming out of my mouth!
Started crying and tears drippin... All of sudden I was the Alpha. she didn't say anything but kept tearing and walked away.
I will talk when she comes to me. Im not the puppy no more, I don't have no space to lose worst already happened to me.
Im not kind of guy playing games but I got to do it to wake her f up back to where she supposed to be.

What's my chances here ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## turnera

Your chances are good, but you HAVE to remain Alpha. Ok? You have to. SHOW her that she has ONE CHANCE - one chance only - to GET to stay married to you. And that is utter, complete compliance with your demands. Female waywards will ONLY drop the OM and come clean and do it right if they see that their man WILL drop them if they don't come clean.


----------



## SweetAndSour

Asian, listen to me.

You are just an accessorie in her selfish life. You are not her man.......No one can be her man, She is broken....... She is not a woman. 

Regular 180, married mans sexlife etc won't do it for you.

You also asked for trouble by being dumb enough yourself to get involved with her when initial bad signes were already there. You didn't know then, I didn't know either too but we know now. 

This is not about regular marriage problems.

This is about a very sick woman and a very gullible man . Please feel free to switch the places of woman and man in previous sentence.


----------



## jim123

Asian said:


> I wasn't sure I should be soft and being the mr.nice guy like I always was but I went the other way and told her if you keep seeing this guy I will do the same! She didnt expect that coming out of my mouth!
> Started crying and tears drippin... All of sudden I was the Alpha. she didn't say anything but kept tearing and walked away.
> I will talk when she comes to me. Im not the puppy no more, I don't have no space to lose worst already happened to me.
> Im not kind of guy playing games but I got to do it to wake her f up back to where she supposed to be.
> 
> What's my chances here ?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Your chances are better than they were. You were playing to not loose. That never works.

Get contriol and deal from strenght.


----------



## Martin12

Are you east Asian or south Asian? What about the OM, what is he, Asian or something else?

Since my cheating wife is south Asian, I am curious. When south Asian women run wild, they really run wild. Breaking a lot of taboos there.


----------



## Asian

I am straight up eastern Asian and my wife is white and OM is white also.


----------



## akashNil

Martin12 said:


> Are you east Asian or south Asian? What about the OM, what is he, Asian or something else?
> 
> Since my cheating wife is south Asian, I am curious. When south Asian women run wild, they really run wild. Breaking a lot of taboos there.


Agree 200%. Couldn't click on "Like" button twice!
Know by (bitter) experience. 

God shouldn't punish with that to worst enemy also.


----------



## Asian

Thanks to all for great advises. I had to learn the hard way but my formerly cheating wife is now being faithful and being a good mother.
She still denies she had sex with this young OM but recently I found in her email account that they were exchanging naked pictures including private parts to each other when she was having an affair emotionally.
I didn't confront her about the pics but I don't think I'm going to. I did test her by asking randomly if she ever send naked pics to anybody in the past and she answered few before we got married but none since besides me, I caught her lie here again but I think I'm just gonna let it slide....because past is past and don't want to dig them up and be stressful again. 
Let me hear you guys opinion...


----------



## Acoa

Be carful about burying the past without resolving it. Without resolution it doesn't die, an it will come out in indirect and harmful ways. 

You don't need to hurt her. But you should let her know that you know she is still lying. Don't tell her what you know or how you know it. If she gets angry tossing out the "you don't trust me" crap, just sigh and ask her why you should? Don't be angry, be disappointed. 

If she is genuine about changing, her past behavior should bring her guilt and shame. What she needs to do to repair the relationship is to be willing to share that with you. She has to trust you to be strong enough to handle it, and she has to be broken enough to be completely open with you. 

No more lies, barriers, protection or whatever she is hiding behind. She needs to lie naked and broken, confessing all and begging for forgiveness. Then, and only then can you truly pick her up, hold her, protect her and forgive her.

Good luck, and don't shy away from fighting for your marriage. Now that OM I'd out if the picture, you need to fix was broken in the relationship. If you don't things will settle back into those negative patterns.


----------



## Love2326

As a woman, I'd be pretty grossed out if my H was masturbating into my panties. Major turn off. Might want to keep that one private.


----------



## Asian

Thanks but my wife knows my fetish.... too late for damage control but again maybe I have to try harder to keep our marriage healthy..


----------



## Asian

To all with cheating wives!!! 
It's not the end!!! There are hopes!! look me even my wife cheated and I thought we were done for good but after I learned the hard way and ask my self what do I want in my life from now?!!! I still wanted to be with my wife if she is going to be faithful once again so I took that chance and told her straight "This is your last chance if you need to have young OM in your life, leave my house I don't want you anymore" I was serious because I could't handle the situation I was in anymore. Few days went by and she told me that what she want is me. Since then we are working hard together to make our marriage work. 
So don't give up guys! Find out what you really want to do and hope for the best!!!


----------



## theroad

Asian said:


> To all with cheating wives!!!
> It's not the end!!! There are hopes!! look me even my wife cheated and I thought we were done for good but after I learned the hard way and ask my self what do I want in my life from now?!!! I still wanted to be with my wife if she is going to be faithful once again so I took that chance and told her straight "This is your last chance if you need to have young OM in your life, leave my house I don't want you anymore" I was serious because I could't handle the situation I was in anymore. Few days went by and she told me that what she want is me. Since then we are working hard together to make our marriage work.
> So don't give up guys! Find out what you really want to do and hope for the best!!!


Expierence has show your WW will continue to cheat. She has had no consequences. She told you she wanted a break so she could have an affair. She has a history of cheating. You will not force her to admit to all of the cheating she has done in the past.

No consequences and my BH keeps on taking me back. This is what your WW has been taught by you.


----------



## OldWolf57

Dude, before your go crowing and strutting, you better find out if she just took it further underground, so she won't lose her life of leisure.

I would bet it underground.

So now you burying your head in the sand too.
Let's see, she leaves home with panties. Comes home without them. Knowing you like them worn, she couldn't let you see how wet they were. 
So she leaves them in the car, or went back and got them from him the next day because she knew you would be suspicious if you didn't see them.

Can I ask? How are you verifying NC ?? VAR planted, keylogger ??
Anything ????


----------



## OldWolf57

As for your problem. What you do is knock the first one out a half hour before having sex with her. Takes the edge off, and you should last longer.


----------



## Asian

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Asian

So I did some more digging on my now faithful but not months ago wife's email and found exchanges between her and her young OM.
She keep saying they were just talking when she was at his house but big BS!! Found exchange email between them like "it was amazing sex" and some nasty exchanged that I cant even write here. She still denied they had sex but i know for sure that she is not see him anymore and being a food wife and good mom. I don't want to tell her I have access to her personal info and tracking her but it bothers me that she can admit she had sex to me.... How should I make her tell me the true ? I need to hear from her.
Is this mean she will cheat again?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shaggy

I'd print out the exchange and simply drop it in front of her.

The fact is she is continuing to choose to lie to your face. That is not a good wife, not at all. It is also clear that given the next opportunity she just might go for it because she know she can and can get away with it.

Kinda like the women that only cheat when they go away on the girls only vacation down to an island in the Caribbean once a year. They play good girl for a year and cheat without guilt on vacation.

Your wife I think is like that. She has cheated, she will cheat agsint and she lies to your face without guilt.

The only way to tackle that behavior is to confront it straight on.


----------



## Acabado

Secrets create distance, kills intimacy.
As long as she doesn't come clean you can't heal so you can't dedicate to rebuild the marriage: you now you have a lying, manipulative wife, you will be guarded, putting walls to intimacy. The marriage will slowly deteriorate. Any argument will bring to the forethough she's a weak, lying, manipulative cheater even if you don't speak for yourself outloud.

As long as she's having secrets from you she's putting walls to real intimacy from her side. Any argument will have a reaction (in her head) justifying her secret as a punishment, any nice bahavior from your part will have a reaction (feeling bad becasue she's lying, she cheated and keep lying, she doesn't deserve "nice") which prevent authenticity, intimacy. Any nice behavior from her part could be a compensation from what you don't know, she's watching the marriage from afar, as an individual.

What worse is as long as she doesn't come clean she's not doing the internal work to affair proof herself, she's too busy covering her ass and controlling outcomes to face the mirror, dig into "why" and "how" she went towards that self (and others) destructive path, the odds it will repeat increases hugely. She just stopped cheating but she's a dry cheater (similarly as dry drunks), a closet cheater, the chances of relapse are huge.


----------



## Acabado

Be calm, create a safe environment, tell her you now more than she can imagine, that "people" doesn't keep secrets as she can imagine, tell her it's for the better she comes clean on her own. Tell her you understand the fear, the shame, the impulse to control things... tell her she needs to conquer it because without complete honesty there's not love but manipulation. Tell her you can't live with a lier, nobody can. Tell her you won't engage anymore as long as there're secrets exclusive between OM and her, leaving you outside. Tell her to think hard, to get advice on her own (books, IC, online sources.
Try Joshep's letter. Google it, re word it to your adventage, make it yours.
Give her a deadline to come clean, tell her you are ready to move on if she doesn't take the necessary steps to fix it which start with complete honesty.


----------



## arbitrator

Shaggy said:


> Separation is just giving her freedom to cheat more.


That was greatly held to be self-evident when my STBXW had me moved out of our home. It just gave her the needed freedom to run the roads searching for the touch of her two OM from her distant past all while giving me the marked impression that our separation was chiefly for us to just work out our differences from afar.

I just can't overstate enough about exactly how much of a dupe I was for initially bringing myself to actually believe that tripe that she so self-consciously fed to me!

The only thing that such a separation would ever truly facilitate is to widely open up the already prevalent "devil's playground," more especially for the continued lurid benefits of the WS!


----------



## Asian

It's been hard dealing with her knowing that she told this young OM something that she never told me like emailing him like" can't wait to give you BJ!" " my mouth hurts from giving you head" "my down there still hurts from last night!! Good job" " we did like a hour straight I love it!" this last one kills me because I can last just about 10 min on good days...
All these kind of exchanges she had with Om is killing me....don't know what to do, like I said many many times she is not cheating any more but still lie to my face that she was Fu*king him. We been doing great as a family and digging up this subject might bring us back to blackhole we were in again and Im afraid. Just don't want to go back there again it was bad... Faithful god's man that I am even I am not perfect as u can see in my past post but I'm willing to give her and giving her second chance but her not telling me the true is haunting me down. What is the best way to make my wife confess to me the true...I'm afraid the bringing this subject might bring back the temptation back to my wife to vist the young OM for amazing sex again.... I feel like she cheated because he could and did give her something I can't which is hour long sex that she was missing since we've married. I just don't know any more.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Acoa

You need to deal with this issue. If not it will fester and your marriage will rot and decay until you can't stand the stench of it.

If she will lie about the past, she will lie about the present. 

Stop worrying about upsetting her and get upset with her. What she has done is not acceptable, and lying is not acceptable. So, stop accepting it.


----------



## CH

Asian said:


> What is the best way to make my wife confess to me the true.


Tell her you want to truth or you divorce her, end of discussion. Tell her you have e-mails you found and if he even leaves out anything she's packing her bags and moving out right away.

Tell her she has 30 minutes to think about it. If she needs time to leave and think about it, tell her to just pack and go and don't even bother coming back.

Go to the bedroom, take her 30 min and she spills the beans.


----------



## bryanp

You have two choices:
1. Print out the emails but then you will not have access anymore to her emails. On the other hand, you caught her totally. I would demand that she get tested for STD's immediately.

2. You can always demand that she take a polygraph and she will fail.

The bottom line is that you are deluding yourself to believe that you will have a healthy relationship if she still refuses to be honest with you and continues to think you are an idiot and has no problem lying to you. You either have truth or deceit in your marriage. Which do you want? Good luck.


----------



## C-man

You have to confront asap. If your wife can't be truthful then any attempt at R is just a charade. My wife kept her PA a secret for almost 3 years while we attempted R. It just doesn't work. So long as she is hiding this secret, even if she thinks she's doing it for you, it will be a barrier to any recovery. Even IF she isn't cheating anymore, the secret will fester and your marriage will suffer. I know this from experience. Give her another chance to be truthful and if she doesn't tell you then you must confront her with the evidence as you show her the door. She can either leave or be remorseful and truthful. It's her choice.


----------



## Asian

Just don't know if I should confront her or not.....feeling lost here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Asian

When I look at the kids I can't take risking there happiness! That is one of the reason I can't confront her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MrK

Asian said:


> ... she is not cheating any more but still lie to my face that she was Fu*king him. We been doing great as a family and digging up this subject might bring us back to blackhole we were in again and Im afraid. Just don't want to go back there again it was bad.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't even think my wife cheated 15 years ago. But her behavior was suspect, to say the least. But I didn't want to rock the boat either. 

So three years ago I came here. 12 YEARS after rug sweeping. I'm a mess right now and will NEVER get closure.

FIX IT NOW!!!


----------



## turnera

Asian said:


> When I look at the kids I can't take risking there happiness! That is one of the reason I can't confront her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 So what's the solution? Let her bring her men home and just bluster and say she can ONLY bring them home when the kids are asleep? After all, this is all about the kids, right?

meh

Your sons will grow up to be doormats. Your daughters will grow up to cheat on their husbands. 

THAT is what you're giving them by being too chicken to confront her.


----------



## bryanp

Are you just going to wait until you get an STD? Have you and the wife been tested recently? You are totally in denial. She has been playing you for a fool and has disrespected you, your marriage and your children. If you do not respect yourself then who will?


----------



## Asian

bryanp said:


> Are you just going to wait until you get an STD? Have you and the wife been tested recently? You are totally in denial. She has been playing you for a fool and has disrespected you, your marriage and your children. If you do not respect yourself then who will?


I know right but it's easy to say hard to do. Thanks for ur comment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jasel

Asian said:


> *When I look at the kids I can't take risking there happiness! *That is one of the reason I can't confront her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What do you think she's been doing? Thinking about the kids? 

I'm not saying don't think about the kids but it seems like you're putting everyone else above yourself and it's not doing you, your kids, or your marriage any favors.


----------



## Asian

How can someone so beautiful and sweet person I had best time of our life with can do something like that behind my back.....do I need to [email protected]@k her like a porn star to keep her as my wife...I always falling love with girls that are look kinda [email protected] Is this the life I wanted???? I could be with someone not so attractive and have a normal married life? Is that what I wanted? Answer is No i want excitement but this was away out of what I expected out from her!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## turnera

I raised my DD22 by telling her to skip the good looking guys, as they grew up getting everything they wanted, never having to work for anything, and never suffering the indignity of being ignored for better looking people. Thus, they turn out to be nicer, kinder, more thoughtful, and generally better people.


----------



## Asian

Okay . This weekend I'm going to confront her that I know she is lying about affair she had was nit just emotional it was very very physical. As I wrote earlier I found dirty text exchanged between her and the 10 years younger OM. She is been faithful since she admitted her wrong but still can't tell me the truth about the physical part. I can live and keep my marriage base on lies anylonger and I know for sure because when I made love to her few days ago I had to stop in the middle of sex due to flashbacks and imagining of her getting f**ked hard from her back by OM...exactly the kind of text they were exchanging and I got sick to my stomach and got limped. 
How can my wife get fuc*d by some OM just last month and now she wets her self and bendovers and lift her ass up front of me to get f**ked by me if i didnt give a s*it i just use her for sex but you talking she is my wife!! I just couldn't do it anylonger.
So today Im going to confront and hope that I bring justice and make things to the ground level.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sandc

Good luck.


----------



## GutPunch

Please kick her a$$ out! She will not respect you if you don't!


----------



## Asian

GutPunch said:


> Please kick her a$$ out! She will not respect you if you don't!


Hard to do that when I need her to raise my kids while I'm working... I don't have any family member live near me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt

TDSC60 said:


> No - never tell her it is OK if she is having an affair.
> 
> *BTW when a wife goes out with panties on for a night out and comes home without panties - then she did something that required the panties to come off and then she lost them in the confusion. *So it looks like she is having a sexual affair with someone. Plus you say she told her friends that she was seeing a younger man. How much prove do you want that something is happening?
> 
> I have never heard one spouse say we need to take a break to decide if we still love each other without a third person involved somewhere.
> 
> Even if she opens up her contacts, she has had ample time to delete everything.
> 
> You need to install a keylogger on her computer so you can find out what she is doing.


Well... maybe not. My wife lost her panties on an evening out. We were in a burger joint and we had finished our meal and were slowly drinking our shakes when she shouted: "Oh, God!" and ran to the lady's toilet!

When she came back she grinned at me and said: "I think I should tell you I am wearing no knickers!"

I said: "Wow! Really?"

My wife then said: "Don't get your hopes up! I just s**t them and took them off and put them in the bin!"


----------



## GutPunch

You cannot raise kids. I got a 3yo and a 6 yo. I'm doing fine as a single dad. Remember you are an example to them. What are you
teaching them. OK to be doormat?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt

GutPunch said:


> You cannot raise kids. I got a 3yo and a 6 yo. I'm doing fine as a single dad. Remember you are an example to them. What are you
> teaching them. OK to be doormat?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You do not know he cannot raise kids. That's an unfair thing to say. By the way, very few parents know if they can raise kids or not. But friends, neighbours, family? They can tell if you can raise kids or not.


----------



## GutPunch

He said it not me MattMAtt.


----------



## Asian

Just confronted her she is pissed!! that I recovered her deleted text during her affair.
Leaving her alone now let's she what happens.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jasel

Asian said:


> Just confronted her she is pissed!! that I recovered her deleted text during her affair.
> Leaving her alone now let's she what happens.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good. You're not the one in the wrong.


----------



## Acabado

The very moment she scream outrage, violation of privacy and trust tell her you were trying to catch a lier, had no other choice and stop deflecting the issue at hand: her cheating, her continued lies, the dishonesty, her manipulation of the reality, her controling ways, her refusal to being accountable. Those are the issues.
Tell her dishonest it not love but manipulation. You gave her the chance to redeem herself on her own and she spit back it to you. She failed again. Ask her whether she regrets the cheating or only being caught.
Demand complete transparence and radical honesty from now on, otherwise she's free to go.
Don't engage into the snooping conversation at all, focus in the real issue.


----------



## MattMatt

GutPunch said:


> He said it not me MattMAtt.


Gotta put quoted stuff in quotes, dude, or it confuses people.


----------



## Shaggy

Asian said:


> Just confronted her she is pissed!! that I recovered her deleted text during her affair.
> Leaving her alone now let's she what happens.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Of course she's pissed, you've just shown a spine which is going to make cheating next time all that much harder to get away with, she believed she completely got away with it.


----------



## Asian

Okay, We didn't talk until kids went to sleep last night...We are just watching TV sitting on the couch without any conversation. After while I noticed her starring right at me with thoughtful eyes with slight wetness in her eyes from her tears....I could not reject but to response to her..I knew what she wanted....Love from me...I did...you can say that I felt in to her trap once again....but I couldn't stop my self from following my heart....Yes she was giving me physical pleasures that she hasn't give to me in a long long time....I felt like she was telling me "so sorry, Please forgive me what I did" by giving me sex actions that she knows I love.......I had flash images that pop in my head that she was doing exactly what she was doing to me to OM just a month ago but this time I just let it go and kept going.....sex was hot....I punished her by put my anger in to it.......Maybe it's wrong but being a foolish man that I am, felt good after and she seems like enjoyed this angry sex.......Maybe my wife is the kind of women that needs drama in her life to satisfy her needs.......Maybe this is what I wanted.....maybe from totally wrong reasons but suddenly our sex life got huge spark going and it's not slowing down......is this Love or Lust........she knows my weakness......when she wants something she offers me "head" and usually gets her way.....Yes, My weakness is SEX and my wife uses my weakness well to control me.....with all these wrong development you may say but I feel happy right now and satisfy.....you might say she'll cheat again maybe but I'll deal with again.....My happiness is within me and not other people to judge! 
I love my wife and my kids....Thanks for all veterans from this site to helping me through hard times and maybe soon again I might be crying to you guys for great suggestions and support.
Thank you.

Asian guy married to white woman.


----------



## sandc

Somebody post the Godzilla face palm picture please.


----------



## Rags

Asian said:


> Yes, My weakness is SEX and my wife uses my weakness well to control me.....with all these wrong development you may say but I feel happy right now and satisfy.....you might say she'll cheat again maybe but I'll deal with again.....My happiness is within me and not other people to judge!


If you're ok with this, and you're happy for her to have other lovers (your choice, after all) - suggest you look up "Hotwife" as a lifestyle.

If you want to have a chance of a normal, faithful marriage, then you'd do better to listen to the advice of the people on here who've been trying to help.


----------



## Numbersixxx

Yeah, this deserves some major facepalm.

Enjoy the illusion of eating a stake inside the fabricated reality of the matrix. Just remember that you were given the option to take the red pill.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jasel

Asian said:


> Okay, We didn't talk until kids went to sleep last night...We are just watching TV sitting on the couch without any conversation. After while I noticed her starring right at me with thoughtful eyes with slight wetness in her eyes from her tears....I could not reject but to response to her..I knew what she wanted....Love from me...I did...you can say that I felt in to her trap once again....but I couldn't stop my self from following my heart....Yes she was giving me physical pleasures that she hasn't give to me in a long long time....I felt like she was telling me "so sorry, Please forgive me what I did" by giving me sex actions that she knows I love.......I had flash images that pop in my head that she was doing exactly what she was doing to me to OM just a month ago but this time I just let it go and kept going.....sex was hot....I punished her by put my anger in to it.......Maybe it's wrong but being a foolish man that I am, felt good after and she seems like enjoyed this angry sex.......Maybe my wife is the kind of women that needs drama in her life to satisfy her needs.......Maybe this is what I wanted.....maybe from totally wrong reasons but suddenly our sex life got huge spark going and it's not slowing down......is this Love or Lust........she knows my weakness......when she wants something she offers me "head" and usually gets her way.....Yes, My weakness is SEX and my wife uses my weakness well to control me.....with all these wrong development you may say but I feel happy right now and satisfy.....you might say she'll cheat again maybe but I'll deal with again.....My happiness is within me and not other people to judge!
> I love my wife and my kids....Thanks for all veterans from this site to helping me through hard times and maybe soon again I might be crying to you guys for great suggestions and support.
> Thank you.
> 
> Asian guy married to white woman.


That just sounds like a hysterical bonding episode. I wouldn't read too much into it. I doubt any of your problems have been resolved. You both sound like you're in the fog. Hopefully you come out of it sooner rather than later.


----------



## OldWolf57

I'm out.

This is a true hotwife lifestyle in the making but he's to ashamed to admit he likes it.


----------



## SadandAngry

Hopeless.


----------



## 3putt

sandc said:


> Somebody post the Godzilla face palm picture please.


The big guy does need to make an appearance on this one.


----------



## Acabado

Man, please, don't let her use sex as a rugsweeping weapon. Use the right head.
Make her acountable, tomorrow. Sit down with her, demand a full disclosure, to your entire satisfaction. Demand from her to seek help on how to fix this on her own, to find out why she did this. Demand to stop lying and face the music.


----------



## turnera

Asian said:


> .is this Love or Lust........she knows my weakness......when she wants something she offers me "head" and usually gets her way.....Yes, My weakness is SEX and my wife uses my weakness well to control me.....


You answered it yourself. 

It's not love. It's not lust.

IT'S MANIPULATION and you let yourself be led by your other head.

NOW what are you going to do? You DO have the right, you know, to now go right back to her and say "Here are my conditions to LET you stay here."


----------



## MrK

He's out. Another one bites the dust.


----------



## Ever-Man

Asian said:


> Okay, We didn't talk until kids went to sleep last night...We are just watching TV sitting on the couch without any conversation. After while I noticed her starring right at me with thoughtful eyes with slight wetness in her eyes from her tears....I could not reject but to response to her..I knew what she wanted....Love from me...I did...you can say that I felt in to her trap once again....but I couldn't stop my self from following my heart....Yes she was giving me physical pleasures that she hasn't give to me in a long long time....I felt like she was telling me "so sorry, Please forgive me what I did" by giving me sex actions that she knows I love.......I had flash images that pop in my head that she was doing exactly what she was doing to me to OM just a month ago but this time I just let it go and kept going.....sex was hot....I punished her by put my anger in to it.......Maybe it's wrong but being a foolish man that I am, felt good after and she seems like enjoyed this angry sex.......Maybe my wife is the kind of women that needs drama in her life to satisfy her needs.......Maybe this is what I wanted.....maybe from totally wrong reasons but suddenly our sex life got huge spark going and it's not slowing down......is this Love or Lust........she knows my weakness......when she wants something she offers me "head" and usually gets her way.....Yes, My weakness is SEX and my wife uses my weakness well to control me.....with all these wrong development you may say but I feel happy right now and satisfy.....you might say she'll cheat again maybe but I'll deal with again.....My happiness is within me and not other people to judge!
> I love my wife and my kids....Thanks for all veterans from this site to helping me through hard times and maybe soon again I might be crying to you guys for great suggestions and support.
> Thank you.
> 
> Asian guy married to white woman.


Asian guy, I read through your situation, and unlike some other
more "hard core" former-cuckolds (I am one too) I would not recommend drastic action if you are not ready. There are compromises couples make to stay together, and these deserve equal consideration to splitting immediately. 

Starters, this encounter between the 2 of you is very promising, your wife has shown remorse and opened up to you. You had very satisfying sex, always good, in nearly any circumstance. 

Don't take this encounter to mean things will go back to "normal". Your relationship is in serious trouble of changing drastically, perhaps not ending, but big issues are now FRONT AND CENTER, perhaps purely sexual (pre-mature ejaculation), or of a deeper nature. 

WARNING SEX TALK!!!

In my opinion, FIX the pre-mature ejaculation FIRST, and work on banging your wife silly. That is what I would like to see you do. Concentrate on that and try to keep the other issues on fillibuster. If this is a sexual issue, this will help your marriage succeed. 

If your marital issue is not a sexual issue, still work on the pre-mature ejaculation FIRST. You can fix it in a few weeks, easy, with the correct approach. This will give you tremendous confidence and change the way your wife approaches you.


----------



## henson

TDSC60 said:


> No - never tell her it is OK if she is having an affair.
> 
> BTW when a wife goes out with panties on for a night out and comes home without panties - then she did something that required the panties to come off and then she lost them in the confusion. So it looks like she is having a sexual affair with someone. Plus you say she told her friends that she was seeing a younger man. How much prove do you want that something is happening?
> 
> I have never heard one spouse say we need to take a break to decide if we still love each other without a third person involved somewhere.
> 
> Even if she opens up her contacts, she has had ample time to delete everything.
> 
> You need to install a keylogger on her computer so you can find out what she is doing.


I agree. You may not let her do what she wants. You must protect the family and your children.


----------



## babyboy

hi all I just need your help here 
im 28 years old and i wife 22 years, we got married 4 month before, it was completely arrange marriage, before marriage we never know each other, 9 days after the day of marriage unfortunately i need to leave home going to Dubai for my job, till the month we were chat and talk many times of day, i was loving her so much because she was first girl in my life, after a month later i come to know she has boyfriend, since few month ago of our marriage date, and even after marriage they were in contact each other and love each other, then i give threaten to my wife and told forget the past, she agree in front of me but keep doing cheating, after all even i come to know she had one night stand with this guy, we had argument, she say sorry and she is not anymore with him, but it hurt me a lot and cant not forget easily, some time i found her she is not really cool girl but little bit hanky fanky, and it make me feel like this relation is not healthy and cool any more, im worried about society what people may think if i divorce her, its bad for both of us as we have pride in our society, other thing side i have no hope of having healthy relation in future together, it make me confue whether i should leave this relation or save itwhat should I do?
please advice me in a nice way, i will appreciate you please!!!


----------



## manfromlamancha

Why are you posting on somebody else's thread ????


----------



## turnera

babyboy, you already know the answer. She never wanted to marry you in the first place, she wanted this other guy, so she figured she'd please her parents and still keep her guy. 

It's not going to work.


----------



## babyboy

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## babyboy

Thank you turnera for your comment 
and sorry manfromamanchha this is first him I use, I'm still confusing where to post ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## manfromlamancha

You can start your own thread on this forum.


----------

