# Help VERY Frustrated



## fireemtmom7 (Nov 3, 2009)

I have posted before on PE. But didn't receive very many responses. We don't have intercourse very often as I was frustrated that it was always one sided. (his side) Well 6 mos ago I decided this wasn't fair to either of us. Well it is still the same he gets off and I am left laying there. Very frustrated and unhappy. From penetration to him ejaculating is less than 30 seconds. Yes I have timed it. This is ruining my marriage. So I looked up Premature Ejaculation and found some good advice and excersise. However he refuses to masturbate. My schedule is very different as I work 48-96 hours at once then home for 48-96 hours. So I have even asked him to masturbate when I am not home. And to do the start and stop excersise. Each time prolonging the ejaculation. He refuses to do it with me or without me. I even took nude pictures and left them in our room so if he wanted to he could use them. He has however started doing the kegel excersises. So I went and bought him a toy. He did use it one time and said that he went from totally soft to ejaculating in less than 3 minutes with it. (But claims it didn't feel good) I call Bull Hockey on this LOL. So last night I decided that while we were laying in bed I would get him hard with a hand job a couple times then let him go soft. So I did this like 3 times. Then got the toy out and was planning to do the same thing with it. Now remember he said it didn't feel good the one time he used it. Well 1 stroke down and 1 stroke up with it and guess what the night was over. And AGAIN I was left frustrated.
I have tried to masturbate but it doesn't seem to do a thing. I even bought a vibrator and it doesn't do anything either. We really need some advice on this issue because this is ruining our marriage. He is 38 and I am 40. PLEASE help LOL


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## whyminvrsatsfd (Nov 28, 2009)

You have to express to him that you are extremely unhappy and cant stay in such a one way relationship. It would be different if he couldnt help it, but he doesnt even want to try. You are in your sexual prime right now. For the next few years, you should be having "oh my god I cant move" feeling good sex. Not laying there looking at a stop watch like youre with an 18 year old. You are giving him permission to look at porn and masterbate and he's saying no....WTF!! He needs to either wear 2 condoms to desensitize him until you get your big O or go to a counselor for some mind exercises that helps him to control himself and stop being the mini minute man!! Life is to short to wait on someone else...make things happen yourself. Good luck!!


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## me. (Nov 28, 2009)

Perhaps he should focus on pleasing you first by means other than penetration. Get a kamasutra book and try lots of new positions that are more pleasing to a woman than to a man...then once you've gotten yours, allow him to finish up.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

fireemtmom7-

You sound determined enough to make this work 
If you do the couples exercise with him - just MAKE HIM DO IT - he will gradually last longer. It's on here: Premature Ejaculation

I have to be honest with you... although I suggest men use the masturbation technique, it was the couples technique that I used on myself. I can now go for over an hour.

Is he enthusiastic about conquering this or not? How did he react to this:



fireemtmom7 said:


> So last night I decided that while we were laying in bed I would get him hard with a hand job a couple times then let him go soft. So I did this like 3 times.


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## fireemtmom7 (Nov 3, 2009)

Thank you all for the suggestions. Yes I am determined to do everything I can. I love my husband dearly. But I am frustrated which in return is causing our marriage stress.


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

wow, i dont know too many guys who would not want to jump your bones......the funny side of me says tha he could be a ****......and the real side of me says he's just lazy and doesnt want to put any effort into it... and as for him not masterbating....to me , thats not normal......i try to get myself off every chance i get......i dont get it


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

In my case, my second time has always lasted much longer than my first, though my refractory period has gotten longer as I've gotten older.

Can you give him a bj, lay naked with him for a while (10 minutes or so should let the sensitivity drop off), and then start another bj to get him going again? If so, he may last longer the second time around.


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

artieb said:


> In my case, my second time has always lasted much longer than my first, though my refractory period has gotten longer as I've gotten older.
> 
> Can you give him a bj, lay naked with him for a while (10 minutes or so should let the sensitivity drop off), and then start another bj to get him going again? If so, he may last longer the second time around.


thats a good idea, i kinda do the same thing.....but while my wife is in the shower i usually can get 2 off before she gets out ( she takes HOLLYWOOD showers) so when she gets out i can go for a long time......:iagree:


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