# Getting dissected and twisted...



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

not me, physically, but every one of my words.

Seems as though STBXH has become quite the intrepreter, nay, even mind reader when it comes to me and what I communicate. DD is also displaying this "talent", more so since she is now residing with him. A simple Happy New Year, hope you get all you deserve wish has been scrutinized and a dark, sinister meaning attributed to the word "deserve". I will admit that I do have a sarcastic streak, always have, but am trying oh so hard to rein it in. 

I'm getting ever so tired of explaining, even defending my word choices. Is there a dictionary available for the betrayed spouse to refer to when communicating with the wayward cheater?

I practice the 180, keeping any contact with him to the subjects of financial obligations and children. Also try to only respond not initiate.

Suggestions or thoughts here?


----------



## Dellia (Jan 6, 2012)

Maybe you shouldn't speak to him unless you have to. I am not bashing you if in fact you said that sarcastically, but if it WASN'T sarcastic, then WHY would you wish your cheater well anyway? ESPECIALLY when it might be taken wrong, if you didn't mean for it to be (since you are known to be sarcastic)?


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Dellia said:


> Maybe you shouldn't speak to him unless you have to. I am not bashing you if in fact you said that sarcastically, but if it WASN'T sarcastic, then WHY would you wish your cheater well anyway? ESPECIALLY when it might be taken wrong, if you didn't mean for it to be (since you are known to be sarcastic)?


I only speak (text or email only) to him when spoken (contacted) by him and not every time. The new year's greeting was a simple response to one he had sent me. Everyone in the family wants there to be a level of civility in any communication we have, especially the kids (both grown now). I am trying to do so but it is extremely difficult when my meaning and intention are questioned every time. Guess maybe that's the price I'm paying for my somewhat sarcastic nature and view on things. I am not quite the same person I was even just a few months ago. I just wonder why it is so difficult for others to acknowledge that and extend me the benefit of the doubt?


----------



## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

Don't take it too hard. He is probably just channeling his guilt by making it appear like you are the terrible one with the mean spiteful character who ruined the marriage, and you are still as mean as ever. And he will continue to point out other "faults and terrible" things that you are doing to him because it will help him to feel better about his lowly scumbag self. In his world, he is good, innocent and a victim of you. You are the perpetrator.


----------



## Dellia (Jan 6, 2012)

cherokee96red said:


> I only speak (text or email only) to him when spoken (contacted) by him and not every time. The new year's greeting was a simple response to one he had sent me. Everyone in the family wants there to be a level of civility in any communication we have, especially the kids (both grown now). I am trying to do so but it is extremely difficult when my meaning and intention are questioned every time. Guess maybe that's the price I'm paying for my somewhat sarcastic nature and view on things. I am not quite the same person I was even just a few months ago. I just wonder why it is so difficult for others to acknowledge that and extend me the benefit of the doubt?


I understand what you're saying  I'm just saying that you might be giving him opportunity to belittle you, to make himself feel better of course.


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Suemolly said:


> Don't take it too hard. He is probably just channeling his guilt by making it appear like you are the terrible one with the mean spiteful character who ruined the marriage, and you are still as mean as ever. And he will continue to point out other "faults and terrible" things that you are doing to him because it will help him to feel better about his lowly scumbag self. In his world, he is good, innocent and a victim of you. You are the perpetrator.


Yes, I am such a mean, spiteful person. So mean that I haven't told the finance company where he took our truck to so they could repo it. Yep, mean, spiteful, vindictive, just the very essence of evil. :rofl:


----------

