# The problem with being awesome



## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

A little mini-heartbreak for me last night, could use some TAM love. 

Met this really cool girl 3 weeks ago. Because of our situation: me coming out of an 8 year marriage. She just got out of a relationship with a guy she thought was divorced but was actually cheating on his wife, and she's planning on moving out of country in a year. We both agreed we didn't want anything serious. Somewhere around Friday it was obvious we both really liked eachother. 

We had an amazing weekend filled with all sorts of really awesome adventures, one of the best weekends of my life.

Last night she called me and told me she had such an amazing time, and that I was too awesome to just be able to date without wanting more. She told me she couldn't see me any more.

I'm not devastated or anything, not going to be retarded and say something cheesy like I'll never find someone like her again. But it sucks to really like someone, have a great time with them, and then not be able to see them again.

I'll consider this training. As deejo said, need to get my heart broken a few times.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Sorry COguy.

Yes, I have had this happen to me a number of times (although not necessarily becasue I'm so awsome).

One time I had 3 dates with a woman. We had a great time every date. She talked about doing things together, like we we're going somewhere. The last date, she asked me to call her when I got home, so I did. She told me "I had an awsome day". Then just like that, a switch, she dissapeared. Wouldn't take my calls. Was gone forever.

Another time, I dated a gal briefly. She told me; "I think I like you more than you like me". Which was not necessarily true.
But she started not taking my calls after a while too.

This stuff happens for some mysterious reason. I never understood it. One time I told a Lady friend about this, and you know what she said? "Yeh, we do that don't we?" WTH??????


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I always thought when people give the "you're too awesome for me" what they really mean is they aren't into you and they are softening the blow. I've since learned that some do it because they are fearful of intimacy. They fear getting too close so they run.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I always thought when people give the "you're too awesome for me" what they really mean is they aren't into you and they are softening the blow. I've since learned that some do it because they are fearful of intimacy. They fear getting too close so they run.


I saw it coming last week, I could see this internal struggle in her brain every time we really connected, like she wished she wasn't enjoying herself so much. 

I don't know if her case is unhealthy or not, I won't make that value judgement. It's clear she's at a way different place in her life and long term potential would be at the expense of her dreams. If she would rather not getto close than suffer heartache farther down the road, who am I to judge?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

"i've since learned that some do it because they are fearful of intimacy. They fear getting too close so they run."

ABSOLUTELY!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

...break the rules...what ever happened to just seeing what happens? Of course, if the woman is moving, no choice...*shrug*...sucks!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

The glare of your awesomeness was so bright she had to leave


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

jorgegene said:


> "i've since learned that some do it because they are fearful of intimacy. They fear getting too close so they run."
> 
> ABSOLUTELY!


It's so true, a friend of mine has suffered alot of hurt by men--like every one of them... she has shared with me how she just can't get too close, she will run when she starts feeling something, it scars the hell out of her, couldn't open herself up to another heartbreak, she says she always expected the worst -that way she is not let down ...and often she just stops it -before he has a chance too. 

I've talked to her about taking risks, giving in to it, that some things in life are worth the risk.... she finally met someone a couple yrs ago & is getting married next year. 

This new woman said she didn't want anything serious- cause of her moving , so she is likley thinking -HIM or go forth with my plans so she ended it before she got in too deep.

Sudden love can really throw a monkey Wrench into future endeavors.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

darn love.such an inconvenient little trap isn't it?

it is a bummer for you to have her pull away from fear like that 

At least you found a decent person in your area.all the great guys seem to live so far away from me...but that's a whole different thread to be started!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Man ...

I have the EXACT same issue.

I am totally awesome.

Accept these things with grace, be thankful for the experience ... and move on.
Don't take it personally. Don't wonder what you did wrong or could/should have done differently. Do what you do.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

COguy said:


> I saw it coming last week, I could see this internal struggle in her brain every time we really connected, like she wished she wasn't enjoying herself so much.
> 
> I don't know if her case is unhealthy or not, I won't make that value judgement. It's clear she's at a way different place in her life and long term potential would be at the expense of her dreams. If she would rather not getto close than suffer heartache farther down the road, who am I to judge?


My divorced friend started dating this other divorced guy. He ran. Yep he broke up with her for 3- 4 months because he was scared to death of getting hurt. I thought it was the craziest thing but it was totally true. She remained friendly with him and didn't take it personally. 

They eventually got back together and while he's still scared he hasn't gone anywhere a second time. Well wait he tried once again but she handled it correctly. She was willing to let him go. Evidently just knowing he's free was enough so he stayed. People are so funny.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

SA, all she talked about was living in a different country, so I personally would have felt bad if she stuck around just to be with me. It's easy to turn that into resentment years down the road. I don't want to be the cause of someone missing out on their dreams. 

So I can see why she'd want to get away from a situation where she'd either feel tied down or have to have a really sad break up down the road. 

That's all assuming it would have worked out anyway, it was only 3 weeks for gosh sakes. She was really cool though, certainly a unique spirit. I don't find too many people that can keep up with me like that, that are also cute and not social rejects.

And SB, this was NOT love, you can't love someone after a month you should know that. This was infatuation.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *COguy said *: this was NOT love, you can't love someone after a month .... This was infatuation.


This is why she did the right thing then, you seem to have a full handle on it , which should make it all the more easier to get past...and appreciate. 

I am sure you are right about the resentment down the road thing. I guess it was good it played out the way it did then, Mr Awesome. Now when you hear that old classic ..." Oh What A Night  ", it'll put a  on your face... and some hope for the future too, that such women are still out there.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

COguy said:


> And SB, this was NOT love, you can't love someone after a month you should know that. This was infatuation.


it was a lighthearted jab meant to be taken as a joke. chill.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> it was a lighthearted jab meant to be taken as a joke. chill.


I'm Mr. Awesome, I'm made of ice.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Deejo said:


> Man ...
> 
> I have the EXACT same issue.
> 
> ...


You're a smart dude and I feel like you're me a few years from now. I appreciate hearing your stories.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

Are you guys being serious? If so.....someone needs to let you know. These women are not into you AT ALL and simply don't want to let you know it. If you believe it when a woman says things like this.....If you really believe it I would get into counseling......because you don't have a clue.
If you are not being serious......well good.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

COguy said:


> I'm Mr. Awesome, I'm made of ice.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Just be... more awesome!

Have a co-worker that thinks he is pretty cool, someone took off his address card outside his office and replaced it with one that said "Awesome XXXX"

So I put one up at my office that said "More Awesome XXX"

If she really likes you, nothing will keep you apart. If you really like her, you will find a way to make it work. won't you?


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

deejov said:


> Just be... more awesome!
> 
> Have a co-worker that thinks he is pretty cool, someone took off his address card outside his office and replaced it with one that said "Awesome XXXX"
> 
> ...


I guess I'm struggling with that. On one hand, I don't want the fun to end. On the other hand, from a purely rational stand point I think what she did is probably best. No need to screw up someone's life for a few months of adventure. It's not like I'll never meet another fun girl I like. 

And the last thing I want to do is have her keep seeing me because I tricked her into it. If she thinks it's the right decision, so be it. If she changes her mind genuinely, I'm game.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Rational? There's no rational in love and fun. 
That's just pure fear. Live life 100% or be scared and alone. 
Falling for her or her falling for you and then moving away is a good thing. Means you gave it ALL. Without fear. But then I always tend to look at life that way. Because my tomorrow's are a little more precious


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Finally a thread talking about awesomeness. Now I have one to follow. THE ONE THREAD TO RULE THEM ALL. 

She was unable to handle the power of AWESOME with out becoming addicted. I have to admire her for being able to step back and realize that there was TOO MUCH AWESOME for her to handle. Many would fall under it's spell only to be struck down and heart broken.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> She was unable to handle the power of AWESOME with out becoming addicted. I have to admire her for being able to step back and realize that there was TOO MUCH AWESOME for her to handle. Many would fall under it's spell only to be struck down and heart broken.


It's like a drug really. My awesomeness is a potion that only the most elite can partake in. I would give you a drip but I don't swing that way.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Freaking out and not knowing what to do with your feelings is not awesome ... therefore partners that either display this trait, or use it as an excuse by proxy ...

can no longer bask within the warming gentle embrace of my awesomeness.

They must instead go look for their own kind of awesome ... or mild neurotic dysfunction, take your pick ...

But me? If being is awesome is wrong, I don't wanna be right.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

deejov said:


> Rational? There's no rational in love and fun.
> That's just pure fear. Live life 100% or be scared and alone.
> Falling for her or her falling for you and then moving away is a good thing. Means you gave it ALL. Without fear. But then I always tend to look at life that way. Because my tomorrow's are a little more precious


When I read stuff like that I want to show up on her doorstep, grab her and kiss her, and then tell her she's not going to get away that easy, that we're going to see things through until we have a reason to end it.

But that's my cheesy romantic side, where my balls don't dare travel.

Is that a ledge I need talking down from?


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

COguy said:


> It's like a drug really. My awesomeness is a potion that only the most elite can partake in. I would give you a drip but I don't swing that way.


No need. I feel much more awesome just from reading. Thank you.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

COguy said:


> When I read stuff like that I want to show up on her doorstep, grab her and kiss her, and then tell her she's not going to get away that easy, that we're going to see things through until we have a reason to end it.
> 
> But that's my cheesy romantic side, where my balls don't dare travel.
> 
> Is that a ledge I need talking down from?


Since you like her it wouldn't hurt see if there's a compromise. She may be looking for "exclusive" more than anything else. Just wanting to make sure if you are with her then you are not playing her.

Now if she's pushing the marry me now flag then I'd not look back.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> Since you like her it wouldn't hurt see if there's a compromise. She may be looking for "exclusive" more than anything else. Just wanting to make sure if you are with her then you are not playing her.
> 
> Now if she's pushing the marry me now flag then I'd not look back.


Maybe I should explain the situation better so people can get the clear picture.

We met at dancing, she clearly had more below the surface than the average girl I meet. I asked her out, we had some great conversation and had a lot of fun that night.

She talked a lot about her experiences living in two different countries, and how she was just getting some experience locally to prepare her to move internationally again. Or that she was going to move to another state far away. It was clear she wanted to go do some more experiencing of the world.

Went on another date, had lots of fun, again more talking about her plans for the not so distant future.

Another date and I cooked for her, after a really great conversation we talked about our intentions. I mentioned I was coming out of a marriage and wasn't really looking for anything serious, that I didn't want to lead her on if she was expecting more than just dating. She mentioned that before she came over, she had felt the exact same way because of her future plans and recent relationship.

Some things were said during future dates from her, making it clear that she didn't want to get too close because she didn't want to get too serious.

Somewhere over the next 3 weeks when I realized how cool she was, my attitude kind of changed from being adamant about not getting serious, to just seeing what would happen naturally. By our date on friday night it was clear that we were both really into eachother and that the line from dating to relationship was being crossed. We spent basically the whole weekend together, doing the most random, awesome stuff, and by the end of it there was a connection there that was beyond just dating.

We had a discussion a few days prior to that, rehashing the original discussion. Basically I said that I was having a lot of fun and I was willing to just go with the flow and wasn't going to make a big deal out of shoehorning anything into a box. She told me about her past relationship (where she was with a guy she thought was divorced but was really cheating on his wife), and how she really didn't feel comfortable getting serious at this point. I told her if at any point she wanted to stop seeing me I'd understand.

Enter conversation from last night. She said she had a really great time, if she hadn't had such a good time she probably wouldn't have thought so much about it. That she was fooling herself by saying she could just date me and not let it get more serious then that. That she wanted to be able to date someone with the prospect of possibly one day marrying them (we'd also discussed how this was unlikely for the two of us given our current situations). And then how she thought it was screwed up that she was ending things because they were going so well, and not the other way around.

My response was basically, I understand what you're saying, I respect it, I won't try to change your mind, but if it was up to me I would keep seeing her until she wanted to move or something else happened. Then we wished eachother the best and awkwardly talked about how we'd see eachother occassionaly at dancing.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> I'm Mr. Awesome, I'm made of ice.


...made of ICE or made of A-S-S...because that pic of yours is VERY AWESOME!!!

As my almost-15yo would say, your pic is awes-amaz-able (awesome, amazing AND incredible).


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> Finally a thread talking about awesomeness. Now I have one to follow. THE ONE THREAD TO RULE THEM ALL.


I used to make geek posts like that, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Hahaha!

COGuy....Deejo. Youz two is funnies.

I'm Awesome. The Awesomest! 

I'm so awesome it's awesome!

I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA!!!!


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

costa200 said:


> I used to make geek posts like that, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


 I'm a bipolar poster and an oxymoron. talk/chat like a geek, look like a *******. crack stupid jokes, follow it with philosophy.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

It's one of two things. She's just not that into you and doesn't want to waste her time. Or she just wants a casual thing, and feels like you wanted more so she ran.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Decided last night I'm gonna go for the surprise at the door approach. I don't want to live life with regrets and I don't really have anything to lose. We'll see what happens. One of those things that will either go really well or crash and burn.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

costa200 said:


> I used to make geek posts like that, but then i took an arrow to the knee!


You mean for real you got shot in the knee, or you failed your saving throw versus Awesomeness?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

COguy said:


> Decided last night I'm gonna go for the surprise at the door approach. I don't want to live life with regrets and I don't really have anything to lose. We'll see what happens. One of those things that will either go really well or crash and burn.


My suggestion? Go for it, but temper your approach. 
I like the going for broke attitude ... but only do so being prepared to deal with 'broke'.

Had my third date with a woman last night. After a 3 week layoff due to vacations and kid schedules.
My inner radar says she isn't that into me ... but ... she keeps agreeing to dates, and she continues to contact me.

So last night I decided to try and 'break' things.
Didn't work out ... we're still seeing each other. Haven't kissed her yet. Under my normal modus operandi, this would be unacceptable ... but with this woman, somehow makes perfect sense.

I made it clear that I was ok with walking ... but also made it clear that I'm attracted to her.

I do enjoy the game.


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## Santa (May 31, 2012)

I feel ya brother. 

Glad you had a great weekend as well. 

I know for me its nice to see I have alot better market value than I thought. Its nice to be treated well compared to the hell we have been thru.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Deejo,

My approach will be something like this:

"This just doesn't feel right. It doesn't make sense to throw away all this potential for a wonderful experience over the next few months for something that hasn't happened yet. If in a few weeks we realize it's not working, or if in a few months you get a job offer to go move and you want to take it, or in a year you want to move to a different country, then we'll deal with that then. But it just seems like a mistake to miss out on something special out of fear of something that hasn't even happened. If we stop seeing eachother, it should be because things aren't working or because of a real opportunity that needs to be taken."

And then I was just gonna let her know that if she still thinks it's the best, that's fine, but at least she'll know how I feel about it, and that I don't want to live with regrets, wondering what would have happened if I spoke up.

I had a similar situation in high school. Me and this girl really liked eachother but we were about to graduate and move out of state for college so we didn't pursue it. I invited her out one night and told her how I felt about her, just let her know I wasn't trying to complicate things but I didn't want to live the rest of my life wondering what would have happened if I told her how I felt. It ended up ruining our friendship but I don't regret it at all. Because if I hadn't, I'd still be sitting here today thinking, "I wonder how my life would have turned out if I told her how I felt about her."


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Wish you the best man, and I feel like you are adequately equipped to deal with it, whatever the outcome, cuz ...


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

No regrets...

Said what I had to say.

She wrote down her goals today and in the next five years she wants to be travelling and moving around and going to other countries. She wants to start looking for someone she can do that with. Obviously I'm not in the position to do that. She said that if we stayed together she would be second guessing herself that she was doing the wrong thing.

Probably for the best, but I hate that circumstance would get in the way of a good thing. She's a really cool girl, wish I would have met her 10 years ago.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Ugh I feel like dump today. I really do not understand this at all. Why I am so affected by this? But I can't help myself from thinking how bad this sucks.

I know my brain is playing tricks on me but really this girl was into EVERYTHING that I like. Do you know how hard it is to find a girl that isn't afraid to get dirty, that likes backpacking out in the woods in the rain with just a tarp, but also likes dancing, serving others, and is active about learning new languages. And not just that she liked that stuff, she was doing it...on her own, hardcore. Not like a personal ad where people talk about all this stuff they enjoy but never actually do it.

I'd be lucky to find someone that meets 1 or 2 of those criteria. On top of that, she was an amazing kisser, we never took it too far but we were incredibly in sync in the physical department.

I feel like I'm going to be comparing every date to her. Blah...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Keep perspective, and keep her off the pedestal. She doesn't belong there, especially given her choice to move on.

You had a great experience with this woman. You will have great, albeit different experiences with other women.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Deejo said:


> Keep perspective, and keep her off the pedestal. She doesn't belong there, especially given her choice to move on.
> 
> You had a great experience with this woman. You will have great, albeit different experiences with other women.


Thanks man. Need a lot of pep talking today. I know it's hard to see big picture stuff sometimes but this will all be really good for me in the long run I think.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I remember back when I had started dating, and prior to my dating and relationship 'epiphany', I had been talking to a woman via email and phone for about 2 weeks.

We got a long incredibly well. Basically we established rapport, and began building a relationship before we ever even met. Some of the conversation even veered into the sexual.

Met on Match, had pics of each other and such. Seemingly there should have been no surprises.

Then we met ... our plan was to have dinner and then a follow-up date the next day.

I could tell by the look in her eyes immediately. Date lasted maybe an hour and a half, before she suggested she was tired ... at 10 pm.

I didn't bother to go for a kiss. Said pleasant good-byes, got a long winded text within the hour trying to gently explain that she was sorry, and she felt bad, but didn't feel any spark where she thought there was one and cancelled the date the following day.

I simply responded: "Was obvious. Best of luck."

I felt like I got hit with a bat. Simply wasnt prepared for that kind of rejection after my expectation was that we got along great.

I have been 'rejected' plenty of times since. I have also sent plenty of texts and had conversations much like the one she sent me. It just doesn't impact me the same way anymore. I don't personalize it. Isn't about me, it's a bout them, and that's not a bad way to be.

I don't want to say that you become hardened to the experience, but you do become seasoned by it. 

Your expectations and how you respond become tempered, more measured, more balanced, and in my opinion, healthier.

It's why I don't even question it anymore if things are chugging along and suddenly my partner has kind of crisis of conscience. Like my six week thing. I've also had some women decide to try the 'push-pull' game as well.

I just follow my rules:

I don't chase.

Be fun.

I do what I say I'm going to do.

I don't let anyone question the decisions I make for myself.

Do no harm. *breakups not included* 


I think I'm going to change 'be fun' to 'be Awesome'.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

I think I'm stuck in the zone where I WANT to be where you're at, but I'm still wrestling with 30 years of "one woman for the rest of my life" type programming.

I thought I would be able to go out and date around and it's obvious from this last interaction that at this point I'm not able to invest myself in more than one person at a time.

And I'm also wrestling with what the "right" approach is. I feel like I'm more genuine when I don't try to put up walls with dates, but also at the same time it seems to put me in unhealthy positions, where I'm romanticizing girls or putting them on pedestals as you said.

Guess I'll be figuring it out slowly.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

COGuy... I'm calling bullsh!t on her reason for not wating to se you amymore. No woman breaks it off with a man if things are "going so well." That's just a line. She just wasn't that into the situation. It's annoying that people can't just be honest. Deej has a great & healthy approach on dating. We're more likely to meet duds or people who it won't work out with than meet someone who wants a LTR with us. That's just the way it is. That's why when it happens, it's almost cosmic. It happens so few and far in between. Keep your head up and keep dating. Not that I advocate game-playing, but try out this little science project: you should totally flirt or talk a lot to another chick excessively in your dance class. Girl A will get jealous. Promise. Women are funny creatures. I wonder if guys would be jealous too in that case.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> COGuy... I'm calling bullsh!t on her reason for not wating to se you amymore. No woman breaks it off with a man if things are "going so well." That's just a line. She just wasn't that into the situation. It's annoying that people can't just be honest. Deej has a great & healthy approach on dating. We're more likely to meet duds or people who it won't work out with than meet someone who wants a LTR with us. That's just the way it is. That's why when it happens, it's almost cosmic. It happens so few and far in between. Keep your head up and keep dating. Not that I advocate game-playing, but try out this little science project: you should totally flirt or talk a lot to another chick excessively in your dance class. Girl A will get jealous. Promise. Women are funny creatures. I wonder if guys would be jealous too in that case.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I was thinking the exact same thing but it has more credibility coming from you JB.

It's a good thing I'm happily married. Had I known all the stuff about women I learn from this site when I was young and single .... I would have been dangerous.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

JB you questioning my mojo? J/k

I'm not going to hang my hat on anything. But her actions were consistent with my assessment. Like I said, every time we really connected, I would see this look on her face, like she was guilty of doing something wrong.

This isn't a girl who talks fondly of the distant future of free spiritism. She was making real plans to live in different places in a few months/years.

Facts:

Me: 30, still legally married, 2 kids, stable job, not going to uproot for the sake of adventure

Her: Young 20's, single, international experience, lifelong dream of moving and taking off work for extended periods of time to explore.

Why would she want to start getting involved with someone that would be in direct conflict to her dreams, goals, and ambitions?

At the end of the day it doesn't really matter. She was cool, we had a good time, it's done. The cause is moot.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> I was thinking the exact same thing but *it has more credibility coming from you JB.*
> 
> It's a good thing I'm happily married. *Had I known all the stuff about women I learn from this site when I was young and single .... I would have been dangerous*.


:rofl: 

Glad I could help.



COguy said:


> JB you questioning my mojo? J/k


Not at all. 

I am just calling a spade a spade. She fed you a line. Which goes right hand in hand with her having that "look" on her face that you describe. (And by the way, the next time you see the "look" and know intuitively something is off, listen to your gut. It save you a lot of hassle in the long run). 

I think in general, we can tell when someone is into us or not.

Find a woman, not a girl.  Oh and get divorced. I'm just saying.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I always thought when people give the "you're too awesome for me" what they really mean is they aren't into you and they are softening the blow. I've since learned that some do it because they are fearful of intimacy. They fear getting too close so they run.


Right on target with that assessment. One artifact of therapy and learning not to shoot myself in the foot is standing by helplessly in a relationship while my guy shoots himself in the foot. The best I can do is to point out the obvious, every time you get your feet under yo, you shoot them. Sad, sad, sad.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Oh and get divorced. I'm just saying.


I second that. Put away your toys before getting more out :rules:. 

Disclaimer: The content of this joke in no way reflects the belief of the editor. :smthumbup:


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> I second that. Put away your toys before getting more out :rules:.
> 
> Disclaimer: The content of this joke in no way reflects the belief of the editor. :smthumbup:


Come on guys, you know that I'd be divorced 3 months ago if it wasn't for the kids.

The courts should let you get divorced without having to wait for a custody decision. I feel for those people that battle that crap for years....

In God's and my eyes I'm not married.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

But you ARE married


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> But you ARE married


I guess I'm a cheating a$$hole then. Brand me with an 'A', I'll fill in the 'wesome' later.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Saw this shirt today and thought of you guys. I knew what had to be done.


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

I have to say, I LOVE the title of this thread. I frequently insert into conversations that the reason why something happened is because I am awesome 

I am blatantly trying to convince myself but I think the more I say it, the more I'll believe it. I do a bit more, now.

That t-shirt is ace btw.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Deejo said:


> Man ...
> 
> I have the EXACT same issue.
> 
> I am totally awesome.


lmao.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

COguy said:


> A little mini-heartbreak for me last night, could use some TAM love.
> 
> Met this really cool girl 3 weeks ago. Because of our situation: me coming out of an 8 year marriage. She just got out of a relationship with a guy she thought was divorced but was actually cheating on his wife, and she's planning on moving out of country in a year. We both agreed we didn't want anything serious. Somewhere around Friday it was obvious we both really liked eachother.
> 
> ...


I'm rebelliously replying without reading the whole thread....so she's trying to save herself some hurt later down the track because you have expressed you don't want anything serious and she said she's moving at the end of the year?

Is it really that you don't want anything serious or are you just in self-protect mode too?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

COguy said:


> JB you questioning my mojo? J/k
> 
> I'm not going to hang my hat on anything. But her actions were consistent with my assessment. Like I said, every time we really connected, I would see this look on her face, like she was guilty of doing something wrong.
> 
> ...


Ahh.....okay this makes sense. She's still protecting herself. She's guarding her goals and the type of life she wants. And she knew you weren't the right fit for her.

(I'm now working backwards in this thread).


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

COguy said:


> When I read stuff like that I want to show up on her doorstep, grab her and kiss her, and then tell her she's not going to get away that easy, that we're going to see things through until we have a reason to end it.
> 
> But that's my cheesy romantic side, where my balls don't dare travel.
> 
> Is that a ledge I need talking down from?


I have a story from my youth .....before I met Batman, there was a guy I briefly dated. I wasn't looking to get serious or really be dating. I was saving to move overseas by myself and that's the kind of mindset I was in. Our dating began very 'movie like' romantic of him showing up at my door. We vibed in a very special way. He'd sing The Doors to me as we drove around and chatted and I definitely had a big crush on him. Then he asked me to move out and get a place with him. He talked about when he wanted to get married and settle down and such. I felt myself back-peddling. That wasn't what I was about. I had a crush but I obviously wasn't that 'into' him. We stopped dating, we didn't even break up really, we just didn't communicate anymore. After some time had passed, he phoned me out of the blue and asked if we could meet up. It wasn't a date, it was just to casually see each other at a club at midnight. The more mature me would now handle this differently. Back then though, I accepted. Before it'd even got to that time, I'd already casually seen Batman out at a different club. Him and I hadn't started dating yet but that was the night I really felt myself become smitten with Batman. I never made it to meet the other guy. It was before we all had cell phones so I was just a no-show *ducks from the tomatoes being thrown* We didn't communicate again.

Batman and I started planning a few months later to move out together and it felt natural. My plans of moving overseas went to the back-burner and it wasn't a big deal. Just as he decided to stay, instead of moving back to his home country. We bumped into the other guy a year later at a furniture store, just after we'd moved out together. I remember the look on his face - he looked gutted. I felt horrible. It's the way life goes. He's now married and a family man, just as he'd desired. My husband and I have lived overseas together and traveled, just as we desired.

From the very little I know, I'd suggest to keep being open to life and learning and being awesome...while I think it's important to have your interest be known, believe someone when they tell you they're 'not that into you' whether it be through their actions or words. Even if I'd have met up with the guy that night and hadn't seen Batman, my feelings wouldn't have changed.

Step away from the ledge.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Personally bro... I reckon you're still investing your emotions too soon

I always keep them in check until I trust someone, it's something I learnt since I was 12 yrs old left on the streets. Regardless, it's one lesson that I've learnt which has kept my humanity safe (anymore traumas at that stage of my life I would not be sane)

Sure, I have a problem with transparency/emo sh-t in marriage. But that's my problem. You don't have that, but still, harden up a bit, at least until the right one has earned your trust enough to put your money in.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> Ahh.....okay this makes sense. She's still protecting herself. She's guarding her goals and the type of life she wants. And she knew you weren't the right fit for her.
> 
> (I'm now working backwards in this thread).


That's twice in one night! 

But yes that's pretty spot on. I thought about what JB said more yesterday and came to the conclusion we were both saying the same thing just in a different way.


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