# Cannot do this any longer



## valium (Sep 22, 2008)

Hi there 

Sorry it is a bit long.

I have not posted here for some years as life has not been great but decided to make the best of it but now cannot deal with him any longer.

My H is so so selfish, has all the toys he wants i.e. motorbikes, boat, scooters etc - big boys toys - all paid outright. He works hard i.e. around 50-60 hours a week, i work full time and look after our two teenage children and do his book keeping etc but get no thanks and he thinks that when i am not at home I am not working? who does the washing, cleaning etc a ghost.

Anyway been considering separation for some time, our daughter who is now 16 hates him for being the way he is and has ruined our lives in the past with an affair with my best friend and my daughter lost her best friend through this as well.

I have been hanging off booking holiday as my heart is not in it, he has bought toys for his bike but didn't even tell me, only when they arrived, he bought new stuff for our sons room two weeks ago no problem i.e. wardrobes etc, daughter needs a new chest of drawers for a while now and has said he would get her one today but now when he asked how much they were he went off his head saying that is far to dear of chest of drawers - either £80 or £115 - but expensive but good quality. I let him rant and just ignored him - this happens all the time in our house, any way daughter heard him and has said not to bother with the chest of drawers he can keep his money. 

This is just one incident out of many and i no longer want this - am going to speak to homeless people at local council.

I can leave this lovely house with a good few thousand to start again - this would leave him with nothing but he has his toys he could sell. I would take the joint debt and obtain a loan to consolidate these as I just want away. I have been on anti depressants for 4 months now and i only told him the other week as he is not interested, i get no kisses, cuddles, no thank you or any thing nice ever not even a cup of tea made by him, only sex sometimes. He does nothing in the house and i have had enough. Some days I still feel like crying but not let him see that. I have became withdrawn which I can see myself, i find it hard to speak to my friends now just in general as i feel i have nothing to discuss, i feel he has sucked everything out of me.

Please tell me there is hope at the end of the tunnel.


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## d2snow (Mar 17, 2013)

Have you actually told him how you feel? Having a heart-to-heart might open his eyes. Be firm, but fair. 

If you read my story, I'm kind of in the same boat where am tired of waiting for positive changes.

Sounds like you are a strong woman and, if need be, you can make it on your own. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel


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