# I wish I were more quick witted



## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

This morning, as I do every Tuesday and Thursday morning I'm up at 5:30. I go into our bedroom bathroom and am getting ready because by 6 or 6:30 my husband will want in to take a shower and get himself ready. I have to make a lunch for my son, myself and get him fed and ready ect before leaving by 7:00. 

First off, my son is an early riser and I'm the one that has always gotten up with him, with the exception of maybe a handful of times in his 4 short years of life. 5:30 is the engrained wake up time I can't seem to get out of even on the rare morning when my sons sleep until 6:00. It also give me a 10 minute or 15 minute time frame where I can drink coffee and be just with myself before the chaos starts. Literally has been this way since I started my outside the home job in Jan. 

But now, since my marriage is in the crapper, the tid bit slipped this morning of "Oh, guess you're getting dolled up for someone now huh." I was doing nothing but straightening my hair and brushing it. This is all my husband can grasp onto. I can't save my own checks fast enough to get out of this horse ****. He wishes I was that stupid, that would make our split easy for him. It can't simply be I'm just sick of your entitled, selfish jackass self can it? The fact you do nothing to ease life for me, but just steadily take take take.

I came out of the bathroom as he laid back down.. Calmly asked him when he was going to take some self responsibility. Crickets. He's a damn coward. What I thought of as the day went on was "Gee, if only your penis was a quarter the size of the **** you actually are." But.. I wasn't fast enough and even if I had thought it I'd never say cause' I'm not about breaking people that way. Hurting someone that way even if they are atrocious to me. Last time I checked, it was you reaching out to other women for attention. Not me, that I did say. Again, crickets. 

I'm just venting. I can't get out of this fast enough.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Yeah, don't lower yourself to his level.

You have made it this far, just finish this marriage up as that proud person.

Being quick-witted (sarcastic) has cost many their job, some their teeth.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

I've seen this from a lot of wives; they are very resentful of their husband for not helping around the house. The problem is that sometimes it seems justified and other times not so much.

For example, I've seen cases where the wife was a SAHM, the kids are all in school, and the husband works 10-hour days. Then when he comes home his wife is angry that he kicks up his feet and relaxes. Sorry, but that's just division of labor. She had most of the day off; he did not.

I realize that you work, of course. Do you both put in the same number of hours? Who mows the lawn? Who quietly fixes things that are broken in the house, before anyone knows they're broken?

If your life is really harder than his, then I get it, and I'm with you. And yes, the infidelity on his part is unacceptable. But are you sure you're not discounting his contribution?


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Stop engaging, and stop obsessing over engaging. It's a waste of mental bandwidth.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Honestly I don’t know how you share space with someone you feel that way about.
I’d be renting a room to share with your child just to get away sooner.
Any cheap room has got to be better than that environment.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So while you’re saving those checks of yours, is he paying the bills?
So when you’ve saved enough money and take off, you’ll never have to her up and take care of your 4 year old or your lazy husband, right?

your vent about how tough your life is and how awful your husband is…….. I didn’t fully grasp how it was all his fault and how he’s so awful. Lots of people get up early and take care of their 4 year olds and take a shower in the morning.
Why not give the full story of your husband’s worthlessness so we can all cheer you on with leaving him? 
there are always two sides to every story. You married him. Has he changed on you?
Is he just always been a lousy husband or particularly of late?
just asking…


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> even if I had thought it I'd never say cause' I'm not about breaking people that way.


Good for you. Revenge is never the right approach. You are choosing RIGHT, your wit is plenty quick, it's just that statements like the one which came from your wit can be hurtful and destructive.
You know that. I encourage you to continue in this. Let self-amusement be your reward when it comes to things like this.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Being quick witted is great. Unless you are dealing with a nasty piece of work like your husband.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Tatsuhiko said:


> I've seen this from a lot of wives; they are very resentful of their husband for not helping around the house. The problem is that sometimes it seems justified and other times not so much.
> 
> For example, I've seen cases where the wife was a SAHM, the kids are all in school, and the husband works 10-hour days. Then when he comes home his wife is angry that he kicks up his feet and relaxes. Sorry, but that's just division of labor. She had most of the day off; he did not.
> 
> ...


To be fair when my children were school age I never had the day off. Firstly they had lots of holidays. Secondly one or the other of them was very often off ill. Thirdly I used that time to get all the countless jobs done. They finished by 2.50pm in primary school and 3.10pm after that. Not a very long day. 
Sorry for the thread jack. Just wanted to point out that most mum's who stay at home to care for their children aren't sitting at home with their feet up watching TV.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Learn how to raise one eyebrow and look quizzically at people. 🤨
It’s better than any smart ass reply.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Tatsuhiko said:


> I've seen this from a lot of wives; they are very resentful of their husband for not helping around the house. The problem is that sometimes it seems justified and other times not so much.
> 
> For example, I've seen cases where the wife was a SAHM, the kids are all in school, and the husband works 10-hour days. Then when he comes home his wife is angry that he kicks up his feet and relaxes. Sorry, but that's just division of labor. She had most of the day off; he did not.
> 
> ...



I'm not discounting his contributions financially of course because at this point that is all he brings to the table and that's all he is driven by. He is a store manager of a furniture store, he works close to 50/ a week. The problem is there is no emotional contribution. The house work is one thing. I'm learning that I have to get over that and just suffer through. It will never change. 

He isn't silently fixing anything around this house. I am either taking care of a leaking pipe or assisting him with it after I've pointed out there is an issue. There's no grandiose Mr. Fix it around here. So no, I don't put in the same hours a week and he made it clear three weeks ago that I'll never be equal to him because of that. But I'm not a lazy woman, living on my husbands work. I work too and have just recently starting saving 2/3 of my own checks after paying my portion of spending. I contribute too to our finances and fuel all his little 'fun' projects.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> So while you’re saving those checks of yours, is he paying the bills?
> So when you’ve saved enough money and take off, you’ll never have to her up and take care of your 4 year old or your lazy husband, right?
> 
> your vent about how tough your life is and how awful your husband is…….. I didn’t fully grasp how it was all his fault and how he’s so awful. Lots of people get up early and take care of their 4 year olds and take a shower in the morning.
> ...


Damn straight. His checks are paying for this house and piece property HE WANTED but can't really afford. They are paying the thousands in debt he racked up tinkering and building during the pandemic. My checks are covering our groceries and the few things I've allowed myself once in a great while and I'm still saving money for him from his own checks otherwise he wouldn't. I'm not some money hoarding spouse, though I look back and think how I should have been all this time. He'd have never known.

I did marry him, when I was young and completely unequipped to realize who exactly I was marrying. There's no excuse, just the facts. Of course I've changed. I grew up. There is a full story if you like to look back on my previous threads. There are definitely two sides to each story, I've not been totally innocent in our marriage either and I have my down falls. But I've shown up day after day of being emotionally neglected, looked over and time and time again shut down when trying to voice my concerns. 

I'm not just painting my husband in a bad light. These are literally these circumstances and if I wasn't the half decent person I am, I would have been 'robbing his earnings' for years. So I won't be made to feel bad about saving some of my own earnings, when I should have been doing it all along, to get out of this abusive relationship.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Given his job, it is safe to say that you're not living the high life. He may work 50 hours a week out of the house; but, everyone knows that being a primary parent is a 24/7 job. The vast majority of people would love to be able to put in 10 hours and come home to no responsibilities.

Stop funding his 'fun' projects. You may be surprised how much money you can save when he isn't around. He can take the money he spends on his girlfriend and use that for his projects.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> To be fair when my children were school age I never had the day off. Firstly they had lots of holidays. Secondly one or the other of them was very often off ill. Thirdly I used that time to get all the countless jobs done. They finished by 2.50pm in primary school and 3.10pm after that. Not a very long day.
> Sorry for the thread jack. Just wanted to point out that most mum's who stay at home to care for their children aren't sitting at home with their feet up watching TV.





Tatsuhiko said:


> I've seen this from a lot of wives; they are very resentful of their husband for not helping around the house. The problem is that sometimes it seems justified and other times not so much.
> 
> For example, I've seen cases where the wife was a SAHM, the kids are all in school, and the husband works 10-hour days. Then when he comes home his wife is angry that he kicks up his feet and relaxes. Sorry, but that's just division of labor. She had most of the day off; he did not.
> 
> ...



I'm not angry he comes home and relaxes. I'm irritated that he asks me if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean and I reply yes, then hear a plate go in the sink but no dishes being put away. Literally have lived in this house two years and he's unloaded this thing once. I just don't get why he can't be bothered to help out. 

I'm not a SHM that doesn't do anything. I work from home too. It's mentally draining trying to entertain your child and take phone calls where said child cannot be heard or I could lose the work I do. But I do it and 95% of the time I'm doing it without complaint. With the exception of posting those complaints here. 

However, I will agree there are plenty of SHM that literally have their lives easy as can be. I just laugh thinking if y'all only knew.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Beach123 said:


> Honestly I don’t know how you share space with someone you feel that way about.
> I’d be renting a room to share with your child just to get away sooner.
> Any cheap room has got to be better than that environment.


It's not easy. I know many couldn't do it and shouldn't be doing it. I'm working on that.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> Given his job, it is safe to say that you're not living the high life. He may work 50 hours a week out of the house; but, everyone knows that being a primary parent is a 24/7 job. The vast majority of people would love to be able to put in 10 hours and come home to no responsibilities.
> 
> Stop funding his 'fun' projects. You may be surprised how much money you can save when he isn't around. He can take the money he spends on his girlfriend and use that for his projects.


EFFING thank you! This is what I'm saying, I'm on ALL day and ALL night and have to do EVERYTHING else. Shopping, work, make the lunches, make the dinner, clean up the dinner, wash the clothes, take care of animals, even do his work expenses, mow our lawn, get gas for mower. IT LITERALLY is all the things. I'm not exaggerating. 

Send me back to work fulltime.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Yeah ...your hb is a nasty cheating drunk. I'd encourage everyone to read your other thread before they come rushing to his defense.

As I said in your other thread, I've been where you are. A woman my ex's age would be much less likely to put up with his nasty crap.

I understand your vent here too. My ex kept an ex gf around our entire relationship, yet when the divorce papers had already been signed and were waiting on the judge's signature he had the nerve to ask if I was cheating on him. I asked him exactly how I could cheat on him when divorce papers had been signed. He mumbled something about being afraid he could be easily replaced...which as it turned out he was. But not at that point.

I really wanted to make a comment about his ****ty toupee but I didn't and it's probably better I didn't stoop to that.

Learn how to roll your eyes and ignore him.

I really hope you're planning to file for divorce.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Stop doing the yard work. No one cares if the lawn gets a foot high. If you have an HOA, they can fine your lazy husband.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> I really wanted to make a comment about his ****ty toupee


Oh, the fun we could have with that. But, that would be threadjacking so I won't go there.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Oh, the fun we could have with that. But, that would be threadjacking so I won't go there.



One time after we were divorced my older son and I ran into him at wal mart. My son had been growing his hair out...he and his brother both have great hair like their mom 😁

I promise I'm not making this up ..ex looked at my son, painted that same phony smile on his face and in a clearly sarcastic tone said "nice hair".

I can't describe how badly I wanted to respond with "nice hair".

But I'm bigger then that. ...unfortunately 😅

I hope OP is entertained by this....if so then no tj occurred 😀


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> One time after we were divorced my older son and I ran into him at wal mart. My son had been growing his hair out...he and his brother both have great hair like their mom 😁
> 
> I promise I'm not making this up ..ex looked at my son, painted that same phony smile on his face and in a clearly sarcastic tone said "nice hair".
> 
> ...


I don't get but hurt over TJ. lol I need this kind of light heartedness in my life right now!


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> Stop doing the yard work. No one cares if the lawn gets a foot high. If you have an HOA, they can fine your lazy husband.


So we live in the country and I have a country boy son. It's rattlesnake central up in here, it's a MUST to keep it down. But I hear ya. Loud and clear.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I don't get but hurt over TJ. lol I need this kind of light heartedness in my life right now!


I have found that keeping your sense of humor is key to getting through aggravation.

Try to step back and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Your nasty, drunk, cheating hb is now accusing you if getting "dolled up" for someone else.

Rich 😅😅😅


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> I have found that keeping your sense of humor is key to getting through aggravation.
> 
> Try to step back and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Your nasty, drunk, cheating hb is now accusing you if getting "dolled up" for someone else.
> 
> Rich 😅😅😅


What's comical and sad is the nerve he had this morning to roll over and feel be up to get some. So yesterday, I'm a cheating spouse that this morning you want to have sex with. Please, I can't make this mess up. Pray for me if you're the praying kind that I survive this.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

If he got some, you're a fool and are not doing yourself any favors. Do NOT reward bad behavior.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> If he got some, you're a fool and are not doing yourself any favors. Do NOT reward bad behavior.


I was getting ready to say the same thing. Talk about mixed messages.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> If he got some, you're a fool and are not doing yourself any favors. Do NOT reward bad behavior.


I did not. So now he's really pissed. Oh well.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I did not. So now he's really pissed. Oh well.


Mine had ED that he wouldn't deal with for years and when the marriage was falling apart (after I found out about the ex gf) he finally got some pills.

They worked but at that point I wasn't interested.

One day he mentions that he should maybe take a pill. My response is eh, maybe later.

So he eventually takes it upon himself to take one and inform me that he'd taken it because he figured I'd had enough time to think about it....lol.

I was in no mood to argue so I said whatever, go ahead....and I just laid there on my side. 

After he was done he had the nerve to complain that I wasn't into it 😅😅😅

That was the last time I let him touch me.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I'm not discounting his contributions financially of course because at this point that is all he brings to the table and that's all he is driven by. He is a store manager of a furniture store, he works close to 50/ a week. The problem is there is no emotional contribution. The house work is one thing. I'm learning that I have to get over that and just suffer through. It will never change.
> 
> He isn't silently fixing anything around this house. I am either taking care of a leaking pipe or assisting him with it after I've pointed out there is an issue. There's no grandiose Mr. Fix it around here. So no, I don't put in the same hours a week and he made it clear three weeks ago that I'll never be equal to him because of that. But I'm not a lazy woman, living on my husbands work. I work too and have just recently starting saving 2/3 of my own checks after paying my portion of spending. I contribute too to our finances and fuel all his little 'fun' projects.


So, tell him you're saving 2/3 of your take home to leave him and be ok when he says he wants to do the same with his pay checks starting right away.

Otherwise you're not on the moral high ground you think you are. 

Just a bit of reality. Don't be a cake eater.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> So, tell him you're saving 2/3 of your take home to leave him and be ok when he says he wants to do the same with his pay checks starting right away.
> 
> Otherwise you're not on the moral high ground you think you are.
> 
> Just a bit of reality. Don't be a cake eater.


I'm not stating I am on a moral high ground. I'm just not going to subject myself to the scraps he tries to throw any longer. He can do whatever he wants with 'his' money. He always has. I'm simply the accountant who robs Peter to pay Paul each month do to his spending. Lecture me all you want that I'm being superior or unfair. I know what I've lived through and am living through and what it's going to take to get out of it.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Blondilocks said:


> Stop doing the yard work. No one cares if the lawn gets a foot high. If you have an HOA, they can fine your lazy husband.


Why don't you and he just pay a lawn service?
It's not that much.
And good Lord, find a neighborhood handyman.

If those two items minimum were addressed, what would the other problems be, the real problems?

Try describing why you want to leave, without including anything about he doesn't help out enough around the house.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I'm not stating I am on a moral high ground. I'm just not going to subject myself to the scraps he tries to throw any longer. He can do whatever he wants with 'his' money. He always has. I'm simply the accountant who robs Peter to pay Paul each month do to his spending. Lecture me all you want that I'm being superior or unfair. I know what I've lived through and am living through and what it's going to take to get out of it.


So what are the real problems, what are the scraps you mention? There's not enough of what, to make you happier?


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> This morning, as I do every Tuesday and Thursday morning I'm up at 5:30. I go into our bedroom bathroom and am getting ready because by 6 or 6:30 my husband will want in to take a shower and get himself ready. I have to make a lunch for my son, myself and get him fed and ready ect before leaving by 7:00.
> 
> First off, my son is an early riser and I'm the one that has always gotten up with him, with the exception of maybe a handful of times in his 4 short years of life. 5:30 is the engrained wake up time I can't seem to get out of even on the rare morning when my sons sleep until 6:00. It also give me a 10 minute or 15 minute time frame where I can drink coffee and be just with myself before the chaos starts. Literally has been this way since I started my outside the home job in Jan.
> 
> ...


It's actually better that you didn't say anything like that to him. It might feel better for a moment to vent like that, but in the long run, it will make things harder for you. You will get through your situation in the best mental and emotional condition if you detach from him and don't feel the need to make ANY sarcastic comments and digs (even if they are true).

And always remember - Never get into a mud fight with a pig...you both get dirty and the pig likes it.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Why don't you and he just pay a lawn service?
> It's not that much.
> And good Lord, find a neighborhood handyman.
> 
> ...


We own 13 acres that a lawn service could not handle and we are both the handymen. I only mentioned those two specifics because another poster asked "Does he mow the lawn," as if that was contribution enough that I was being ungrateful for or overlooking as well as "Does he fix things around the house." 

It's okay. I can see you believe I'm just a nagging complaining wife and that's okay. Have a good day.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

LisaDiane said:


> It's actually better that you didn't say anything like that to him. It might feel better for a moment to vent like that, but in the long run, it will make things harder for you. You will get through your situation in the best mental and emotional condition if you detach from him and don't feel the need to make ANY sarcastic comments and digs (even if they are true).
> 
> And always remember - Never get into a mud fight with a pig...you both get dirty and the pig likes it.


I was laying in bed last night thinking what purpose him saying what he did to me could actually serve. It's simply he wanted to try to stir me, to fight so he could gas light me for reacting. In the very first seconds following the dig it did get to me, but then I relaxed and realized how ridiculous he is being yet again, and it passed.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> So what are the real problems, what are the scraps you mention? There's not enough of what, to make you happier?


Nothing I have to share will satisfy you. I digress. Thank you for your input.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> We own 13 acres that a lawn service could not handle and we are both the handymen. I only mentioned those two specifics because another poster asked "Does he mow the lawn," as if that was contribution enough that I was being ungrateful for or overlooking as well as "Does he fix things around the house."
> 
> It's okay. I can see you believe I'm just a nagging complaining wife and that's okay. Have a good day.


Easy...don't take any misunderstandings personally (I know that's hard to do)...almost anyone who posts to you is just trying to help you think of any and every possibility that you should look at. The intent from other posters is almost always going to be to help you.

Also, this is why it's usually best to keep most of your posts on a single thread, because many people don't look at every thread that an OP has written, so they don't know the full story.

And YOU know your situation...just take what is helpful for you and leave the rest. Not everyone has to agree with you or understand, because no one else is living what you are going through.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

LisaDiane said:


> Easy...don't take any misunderstandings personally (I know that's hard to do)...almost anyone who posts to you is just trying to help you think of any and every possibility that you should look at. The intent from other posters is almost always going to be to help you.
> 
> Also, this is why it's usually best to keep most of your posts on a single thread, because many people don't look at every thread that an OP has written, so they don't know the full story.
> 
> And YOU know your situation...just take what is helpful for you and leave the rest. Not everyone has to agree with you or understand, because no one else is living what you are going through.


Yes I can see this. And now understand why keeping things with the previous posts could be helpful in painting a bigger picture.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> So what are the real problems, what are the scraps you mention? There's not enough of what, to make you happier?


Read her other thread.

He's not a victim.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

lifeistooshort said:


> Read her other thread.
> 
> He's not a victim.


I gotcha now. My bad.

Well, hopefully there will be some clarity and they can D, and start healing.


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## Edmund (Apr 1, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> Learn how to raise one eyebrow and look quizzically at people. 🤨
> It’s better than any smart ass reply.


Yes, Mr. Spock.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

LisaDiane said:


> Easy...don't take any misunderstandings personally (I know that's hard to do)...almost anyone who posts to you is just trying to help you think of any and every possibility that you should look at. The intent from other posters is almost always going to be to help you.
> 
> Also, this is why it's usually best to keep most of your posts on a single thread, because many people don't look at every thread that an OP has written, so they don't know the full story.
> 
> And YOU know your situation...just take what is helpful for you and leave the rest. Not everyone has to agree with you or understand, because no one else is living what you are going through.


@Bulfrog1987 , yes, context is all. I'm not blaming you, but looking at both sides, as usually only one side gets told. 
With your previous posts added there is a more complete picture. 

Hang in there!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I gotcha now. My bad.
> 
> Well, hopefully there will be some clarity and they can D, and start healing.


In your defense it is tough to follow multiple threads and I've certainly been guilty of not reading previous threads first. 

I just happened to have read her other one.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Edmund said:


> Yes, Mr. Spock.


She could say "fascinating" while raising said eyebrow to complete the effect 😀


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> @Bulfrog1987 , yes, context is all. I'm not blaming you, but looking at both sides, as usually only one side gets told.
> With your previous posts added there is a more complete picture.
> 
> Hang in there!


I ain't even mad! I get it fully. There are plenty of one sided posts which help no one if you aren't totally transparent. Although, if I were the outsider reading my threads, I too would be suspect and be thinking, it can't really be that bad? She obviously isn't telling the whole story. Yet I assure you, it is this bad. 

It really is all good. I know there are things other posters will share that are going to sting and I'm open to feel it, knowing it's going to keep me on track and keep me going the right way. Truly.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Drunk, lazy, cheater????? Yeah, ditch him and the faster the better!!!!


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> I was in no mood to argue so I said whatever, go ahead....and I just laid there on my side.


It's amazing the things we can remember and the things we forget. It's why it's so hard to accept "I don't remember" answers.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Sfort said:


> It's amazing the things we can remember and the things we forget. It's why it's so hard to accept "I don't remember" answers.


Ha! Reminds me of multiple presidents, one specifically re wild Willy, who's answers during inquiries started "I don't recall ever...."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> One time after we were divorced my older son and I ran into him at wal mart. My son had been growing his hair out...he and his brother both have great hair like their mom 😁
> 
> I promise I'm not making this up ..ex looked at my son, painted that same phony smile on his face and in a clearly sarcastic tone said "nice hair".
> 
> ...


I couldn’t have resisted a smart ass reply in this situation. 
Something along the lines of “ It’s all his own, same as yours except he didn’t have to pay for it”


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> Last time I checked, it was you reaching out to other women for attention


I didn't see your other thread until someone mentioned it. You said that you were giving and receiving attention from a guy at work. So much so that your husband threatened suicide, right? So why are you painting this as if you're without fault? Was your affair both emotional and physical? Have you considered that he's accusing you of new affairs because of the last one you had?

For the record, working a 50-hour week and doing a fair amount of chores around the house would constitute a pretty big contribution to the household. Hence my question about mowing the lawn and being a handyman. Your original complaint was about his lack of contribution to the household, not about the lack of emotional connection. You only changed your thesis once you realized his contribution was pretty significant and that you didn't have much to stand on in this regard.

As others have mentioned, there are two sides to every story. Your snarky quote above suggests that you're pretty oblivious to his side of the story and maybe not relaying relevant facts.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Tatsuhiko said:


> I didn't see your other thread until someone mentioned it. You said that you were giving and receiving attention from a guy at work. So much so that your husband threatened suicide, right? So why are you painting this as if you're without fault? Was your affair both emotional and physical? Have you considered that he's accusing you of new affairs because of the last one you had?
> 
> For the record, working a 50-hour week and doing a fair amount of chores around the house would constitute a pretty big contribution to the household. Hence my question about mowing the lawn and being a handyman. Your original complaint was about his lack of contribution to the household, not about the lack of emotional connection. You only changed your thesis once you realized his contribution was pretty significant and that you didn't have much to stand on in this regard.
> 
> As others have mentioned, there are two sides to every story. Your snarky quote above suggests that you're pretty oblivious to his side of the story and maybe not relaying relevant facts.


Yes I did have an affair 11 years ago. I should have tagged all this onto my original post as other's have suggested. So yes the premise of 'well, you did it before..' I do understand, I also have ZERO free time, and I do mean ZERO. Neither here nor there. I'm not oblivious to my husbands side of the story and have relayed the relevant facts. Just wasn't in this particular post. 

Not saying working 50 hours a week isn't a big contribution, but he doesn't do a FAIR amount of home chores, not sure where you're getting that from. Anyhow, thanks for your comment.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> Yes I did have an affair 11 years ago. I should have tagged all this onto my original post as other's have suggested. So yes the premise of 'well, you did it before..' I do understand, I also have ZERO free time, and I do mean ZERO. Neither here nor there. I'm not oblivious to my husbands side of the story and have relayed the relevant facts. Just wasn't in this particular post.
> 
> Not saying working 50 hours a week isn't a big contribution, but he doesn't do a FAIR amount of home chores, not sure where you're getting that from. Anyhow, thanks for your comment.


I can offer, that when we lived on some 20 acres we still had a yard service, though specifically it was a couple guys that specialized in pasture and field maintenance with bush hogs and tractors as well as immediate area around home, with mowers etc. Payment was based on fuel and hourly average. And we raised livestock.
And we had a handyman too. I didn't want to spend all my free time doing routine field work.

Just regarding your happiness, it may be good to look into same. One less thing or two to wear on you.


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