# Loneliness and infidelity!



## Consuela (Aug 1, 2011)

After my first post I realized that the reason I went online the first time is because I was so lonely. It was around midnight and my husband was out bowling with two girls until 2 am that night ( I found out because the two girls posted the pictures on Facebook the next day).

I started chatting, then talking, then eventually had an affair. I decided to stop it and I am working very hard on it. But I am scared of being lonely again.

How do I cope with being lonely all the time? My husband said that we have nothing in common and that he rather go out with people he can have fun with. He used to be my best friend now he barely talks to me and likes to seek other women to confide in them. He has had two so far.

He is right I hate clubs and bars and being out late. I have a small child and I rather read a book at home. He knew all that before marrying me.

I don't want to fall back. What have you done to fight loneliness in your marriage when your partner his emotionally and physically absent?


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Do you like cooking? Would you like to learn how to dance? How about exercise? Join a class and meet new people, especially other women who you can relate to. There is no reason for you to be a hermit.


----------



## Consuela (Aug 1, 2011)

Thank you for the tips. I plan on joining a book club, then a yoga class and a moms group in my neighborhood. I will see how it goes.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Oh and do consider going to IC (individual counseling). It could help you to address and possibly resolve your personal issues that have caused you to be involved with men (your husband and the OM) who are not good marriage material.


----------



## HappyAtLast (Jan 25, 2010)

The first thing I would do is to divorce him...he disrespected you. Then I would get interested in a hobby..i.e. photography, cooking, whatever you enjoy..I'm sure you would meet some fine people with the same interests as you.
I know that divorcing is much easier said than done...but you deserve much better than that..I don't think you would want to live the rest of your life with him and knowing what he's done to you.


----------



## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Just to let you know there are men out here who also see great benefit to staying home and reading a book to the kiddo, or watching Kung Fu Panda for the twentieth time. A nice home cooked meal where we both spend time together making it, maybe sharing a bottle of vino while at it. Then settling down for the evening to watch the next episode of one of our mutually favorite shows. 
I mean, not to sound like a homebody or a wallflower, but just so you know theres guys out here that arent all about bars and the ladies who frequent them.


----------



## Consuela (Aug 1, 2011)

I will do some individual counseling like morituri has suggested then go back to work since my son is going to school now, get a divorce and see if I can find someone who likes things simple like I do.

The emotional abuse is getting worse and I think that even though I made a mistake too I don't have to be treated that way.

Thank you for all the input.


----------



## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

Consuela said:


> I will do some individual counseling like morituri has suggested then go back to work since my son is going to school now, get a divorce and see if I can find someone who likes things simple like I do.
> 
> The emotional abuse is getting worse and I think that even though I made a mistake too I don't have to be treated that way.
> 
> Thank you for all the input.



If he is going out bowling and partying with women and you don't know about it their is a good chance that he has had an affair or afew that you may not no about and want to beat you up about yours. I am not by any means saying you are justified in having and affair. But if it were not for those pics would he have told you?


----------

