# Thinking about Separation but not



## YodaLady (Jan 16, 2010)

I am so sorry if this seems jumbled... Sometimes my hands don't work as fast as my brain.... 

I have been married almost 5 years. I love my husband dearly but i get so frustrated with him - it seems like there are points where he is so perfect and understanding and then there are times when he is such a neanderthal and I am not important to him at all. I feel like he defines himself by who he is and what he wants to do (irregardless of his marriage) while i define myself by being a wife first. For the last few days I have been furious because of his lack of thought for me... It started because he told his brother something I SPECIFICALLY ASKED HIM NOT TO TALK ABOUT... After we argued about that he left the house and didn't even try to resolve the issue (just swept it under the rug)... Then he was supposed to do something to help w/ my business that i needed for tomorrow and instead he 1) went to get a sandwich for his bro and while over there 2) had to fix a doggy gate for his mom and tonight 3) had to ride off w/ one of his friends - I am so glad to know that I am 4th on the list before he left he "offered" to do the thing i needed on tomorrow - (did i mention i needed it for tomorrow) *sigh*
Anyway - for the last couple of days i have been thinking about going to my parents house( in another state)  I feel like i need to have some time to learn to define me by me instead of by "us" 
I don't really feel like it would be a separation although i guess if i leave for 2 weeks to a month i guess it would be huh... I am not from a family of failed marriages (Literally EVERYONE has been married FOREVER - rents 37 yrs. aunts and uncles at least 25 years each (most more) I just feel like he wouldn't even notice i was gone for like a week or so... 

Any advice would be welcomed.


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## Meriter (Nov 10, 2009)

Don't worry about how long other people's marriages lasted. that really has nothing to do with you.
I think a trial separation might help you.
-Might make him appreciate you more.
Any kids?


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