# Am I the psycho??



## Therelocatedwife (Nov 23, 2017)

Hello everyone, I need your opinion...

Long story short, I was married in January of this year and relocated to a California after quitting my job with a promising career in the financial industry, sold almost everything I owned, and said goodbye to my beloved city where I lived for the last 11 years. (My husband and I were in a long distance relationship).
The move literally cost me about 10K for shipping things over, losing some of my pension, selling things I owned etc etc.
I have no friends, no work yet as I am waiting for my work visa to come through, and no family in the area.
Such condition and the adjustment into my new life, and being fully committed to contributing into the household while I can't work doing all the chores add to my unhappiness and difficulty.


With this foundation, it immediately upset me when my husband and I first went shopping in my first couple of weeks since moving and he bought himself a $250 pair of jeans and $200 both from high end brands. His refusal to have a joint account, my idea of investing the little savings I brought with me, and his expectation for me to cover some of the bills from when we go out has so far cost me almost $9,000 out of my savings.
I've been here for 7months now and I still haven't been able to work as my work visa is still pending... In the meantime, my husband spends more money on luxury brands such as Gucci and pokes fun at me by hinting I should get a job at Walmart and that I should buy my clothes at H&M or Forever21...

I was fully aware that he was a single man for a really long time and he's used to buying himself nice things. But he said he is sure his priorities will change once married (which doesn't seem like it), buys nothing for me at all, makes me use up all my life savings (which is really not much), and belittles me for the things I own...

In addition to all this financial contempt that's been building up (to be fair, he does pay for groceries, he gets paid really well, we live in a beautiful condo, he drives a nice sports car, we are never hungry, he pays for rent etc.......HOWEVER, I was affording all that before I moved for him and our marriage...AND those expenses were what was in place before I moved here anyway...he literally didn't even have to move a finger for me to move as I took care of all the cost including paying for flight to come here... he admitted to me that the only additional expense he now has since I moved here is really just paying extra for my health insurance and $40 per month phone bill). I am also starting to notice that there are fundamental moral values....

For example, when we go grocery shopping and he is thirsty, he will freely grab a drink out of the fridge, walk around the entire store drinking it while we shop and leave the garbage somewhere and not even pay for it. He cuts in lines, and gets random people frustrated or absolutely angry with him. Some have called him a prick/ road rage occurred and the mad man came over to literally kick our car many times while we were at the red light/ the husband of an old couple called him a prick as he hopped over seats to sit on the seats they were intending to.....
These things absolutely bother me..... I have been brought up in a way to have values to be kind to others, be honest, and hold the door for people etc. When I express my disapproval to him, he says that I am never on his side.....

My anxiety has gone up like crazy since I moved here as I still don't have any social life nor friends, I've said some things I regret.... I've hysterically cried and called him a 'piece of ****' after a wonderful night out where we both had quite a few to drink and he took off while I was in the washroom and drove off to a friend's house...DRUNK. It came out of no where and I was so upset.... A few weeks later, that must have given him an inspiration and he called me a "piece of ****, who the f do you think you are, who the f do you think you are talking to??" during a stupid fight... This fight only started as he couldn't find me for 30 min apparently (I think it would have been less) while we were on the 2nd floor of Nordstrom.... we were only there in the first place as he wanted to check out some things.... I was bored and waiting by the bench where I could sit down, eventually went to grab a coffee literally right next door as I was falling asleep out of boredom AND I am not in the position where I can buy nice things for myself either as I am still not working.. Only to eventually realize that the entire place does not have any signal.......We finally find each other and he is SO UPSET with me.... which made me even more angry as all I was doing was wait for him and he gets upset that he couldn't find me in a no signal area for '30min'....which I am sure was more like 15min tops...

He dismisses me when I'm upset with a valid reason from my perspective as me "being moody". He also hinted to me today that I am a psycho........

Someone PLEASE just help me..... I am increasingly becoming upset and thinking that I married a complete a**hole..... Someone PLEASE help me see it from his perspective so I can have the wisdom to get over all this, get rid of all my contempt and anger...... I gave up so much to come here and nothing seems to be going well for me.... Someone PLEASE help me...... Thank you


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

You did marry a complete ******* and the person best suited to help you is a divorce lawyer.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

You married an *******. I'm so sorry. He sounds like a diva. Can you live like that?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I agree with the rest - he's a complete and utter ass-hole.

Let this be a lesson. Don't even move across the STREET for someone, much less to another continent.

Get a lawyer pronto.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
I am very regretful to say this but, based solely on the information in your original post I have to go with


Therelocatedwife said:


> I am increasingly becoming upset and thinking that I married a complete a**hole.


There will be adjustments with any new relationship but when there is a lack of true caring and empathy it is impossible. As someone who "loves" you he should be mindful of your situation and all that you sacrificed and he should encourage and support you not berate and belittle you.

I am perplexed as to how you saw enough compatibility points to even consider marrying this man. He sounds narcissistic. In any event, I fear him changing is not a real possibility and your only recourse would be to try to get your old life back before your money is depleted and you are trapped. Leave him to be with the love of his life, himself.

Most men find great pleasure in caring for the woman they love and would sacrifice their own desires to fulfill that of their W since their W's pleasure gives them more gratification than a pair of jeans, or what have you, could ever supply. Additionally, he sounds as if he feels entitled in life as opposed to appreciative for what he has, you included.

Again, this is based on your first post and there could certainly be extenuating circumstances of which I am not aware so please accept that margin of error in my opinion.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Aggreeded your not crazy he is!

Get out now!


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

Are YOU "Psycho"?

NO- you were duped. Played. Been had by a con- artist.

He basically has you as his indentured servant- and is making you feel LUCKY to be one.

You are married, can't get a job and he controls everything. You probably can't write a check for a retainer to a divorce attorney without him knowing. 

If you have family that can book and pay for a plane ride home- do that. You can figure out the divorce in a safe place.


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## Don't Panic (Apr 2, 2017)

OH honey, this is a bad situation. Those inconsiderate, reckless, narcissistic behaviors you describe are very likely going to get worse. You've been married 7 months? Did you relocate to the States? How old are you and he? How well did you know each other before marriage? 

Devise a strong exit strategy using the advice of previous posters as a starting point. Whether you ultimately take that route, or not, do this for your own peace of mind and to regain some sense of control over your life. 

As NoChoice said:
Most men find great pleasure in caring for the woman they love and would sacrifice their own desires to fulfill that of their W since their W's pleasure gives them more gratification than a pair of jeans, or what have you, could ever supply. Additionally, he sounds as if he feels entitled in life as opposed to appreciative for what he has, you included.

Do you want to be married to someone that is incapable of this?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

What line of business is he in? This kind of personality doesn't sound very conducive to success in a lot of things.

Definitely get out. Are you different cultures?


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Not sure what kind of man could be comfortable with such inequity. Doesn't fit my definition of a man. He sounds like a pathetic little worm who needs to keep you subordinate to himself.

From your account, I see no sense of generosity or basic caring from him. What possible reason could you have to stay with him? Don't you think you deserve better?

I think you already know what you need to do. 

For the future, don't make such major changes in your life without working out the details upfront. It's an expensive lesson, but very worthwhile. Never assume that others will "do the right thing" without explicit agreement.


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

Therelocatedwife said:


> For example, when we go grocery shopping and he is thirsty, he will freely grab a drink out of the fridge, walk around the entire store drinking it while we shop and leave the garbage somewhere and not even pay for it. He cuts in lines, and gets random people frustrated or absolutely angry with him. Some have called him a prick/ road rage occurred and the mad man came over to literally kick our car many times while we were at the red light/ the husband of an old couple called him a prick as he hopped over seats to sit on the seats they were intending to.....
> These things absolutely bother me..... I have been brought up in a way to have values to be kind to others, be honest, and hold the door for people etc. When I express my disapproval to him, he says that I am never on his side.....


Yeah he's an *******, no doubt. he sounds like the biggest prick I've ever heard about. Typically men like him end up hurt badly at some point in their life and it changes their attitude a bit. A lot of people in our day and age are convinced that the threat of courts and police are enough to keep people from getting violent. But there is still a breed of men that give 0 ****s and will hurt him and deal with the 3-5 year sentence.

He may have a really serious personality disorder, or just be an entitled *******. See if you can get that good job in finance back and divorce the prick.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Why did you marry this guy when you clearly didn't know who he really is?

Sorry but you made a very bad choice by not getting to know him first.

Please don't ever make that mistake again, and leave this guy TODAY.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

My NOW ex is a crazy dangerous person. Yet she wasn't up to the scale of horrible as your husband and you have only been with him for less than a year.

Check for laws regarding your country. See if YOU can escape back to your country and get the marriage annulled. Rather than divorce for months or longer before trying to get away. He's the kind of guy who will keep you hear, trapped. he'll drag it out... he will only get worse by the month. He's tearing you down.

Take only the things you really need - with you.

DO NOT get pregnant by him.

Seriously, if you can ship a few boxes back and get on plane. GO!

GET OUT!


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Flee! Now!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree with everyone else here. Your husband is indeed an ass and you need to leave him.

And you need to learn from his.

You married a guy who you did not even know. You did all the hard work to make sure that the two of you could marry, meaning that he did not have to really put out any effort and/or change his life in any meaningful way. So he does not value you. Now you are allowing him to bully you and so far you continue to let this happen. You need to do some serious soul searching to figure out why you don't value yourself very much.

Is there anyone in your home country who can help you out? Any friends for family? If at all possible take what's left of your savings and return to your home country. Get your job back if you can or find another. 

You say that you were in a long distance relationship. How long did this relationship go on before you married him? How much time did the two of you actually spend together in person before you gave up everything to go marry him?

One of the major problems with long distance relationships is that the he was able to pretend to be someone other than himself. This is why most long distance relationships end badly. 

As a rule of thumb, a couple should date for at least 2 years before becoming engaged. Then be engaged for at least a year before marriage. Why? Because it takes that long to really know a person and find out who they really are. Most abusers and asses can put on a good act for 18-24 months. Then their true self starts to come out. And this is the basic rule for when you both live in the same place and see each other almost daily. Clearly a long distance relationship can never meet this criteria.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Don't worry about legal technicalities right now. Just move back home.

Sort out all that crap later.

Maybe you qualify for an annulment. He kind of did marry you under false pretenses.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

you had a lot of stuff going on for you. 

why did you leave all that again?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Get thee back home! See if you can get this ridiculous marriage annulled!


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## cma62 (Jul 31, 2010)

I think all the signs were staring you in the face before you married him....you were either blinded by love or lust....or you were hoping you could love him into changing.

Never going to happen which you have found out the hard way.

By asking the question “ Am I a Psycho”....proves that he is getting in your head and distorting you perception of who you really are.

Leave now ...the mind ****ing games will only escalate and your self esteem and dignity will plummet and you will not trust your own judgment. 

You’ll only be strong and healthy without his toxic influence on your life.

Thank goodness you do not have children.


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

Sounds like he is providing for you but not how you expected. You were accustomed to having your own money and financial freedom and now that is put on hold until your visa is worked out, in the mean while you are having a hard time adjusting.
He sounds like a man who needs a woman to balance him out. I still do and say things that make my wife shake her head. If you love him, if he is kind to you, if he loves you, then my advice is to work it out. Maybe he has no interest in spoiling a woman as he spoils himself and that is his prerogative. He has earned his money and as long as he provides the basics you need to live he has met his moral obligation as a husband.


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

are YOU the psycho? only if you stay with a person like that and think they would change.


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## David Darling (Oct 22, 2016)

JayDee7 said:


> as long as he provides the basics you need to live he has met his moral obligation as a husband.


Seriously?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

JayDee7 said:

Original Post

as long as he provides the basics you need to live he has met his moral obligation as a husband.



J, what has you been smoking?


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

No, this guy sounds like a world class *******. Leave this bag of crap and get out of there.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

seeking transgender prostitutes? 2 weeks before wedding?
yeah, I'm thinking you are reasonable in your concerns.

He sounds like a nut to me.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*



Evinrude58 said:


> seeking transgender prostitutes? 2 weeks before wedding?
> yeah, *I'm thinking you are reasonable in your concerns.*
> 
> He sounds like a nut to me.


Just reasonable? 

I'd say dump his fking ass!


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## Therelocatedwife (Nov 23, 2017)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*



Evinrude58 said:


> seeking transgender prostitutes? 2 weeks before wedding?
> yeah, I'm thinking you are reasonable in your concerns.
> 
> He sounds like a nut to me.




Thank you for your input. I really appreciate it as I feel like I am treated as though I am unreasonable. Also wanted to clarify, it was 2 weeks before proposal... We were engaged in DEC2017 and married JAN2018, long story short as per recommendation by immigration lawyers... they said it was in our best interest to be married at least on paper due to my + his immigration status at the time (long story short)...


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

Would be to me. 

Your parents should accept your choices you are an adult. 

Just some advice though, you will also have a better life if you get to the point where the weight of what they says doesn't affect you much. When their approval means no more then a friends, and not someone whom you owe. They got to live their life with decisions good and bad, now is your chance. Everyone has to do this at some point in their life because most of us want are parents approval but once you make that choice to not care as much, once you get that this is YOUR life, you will be much happier. Now may be the time. 

"Mom, Dad I get that you don't get it, and that's fine, but it's my life and I want better. So thanks for your opinion and I love you as my parents, but this is my choice." In my mind that is really all that is necessary to honor them.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*



There said:


> .... My parents only JUST found out that we were having marital problems and because I'm giving them a very filtered version of the story, they think that I am being unreasonable and should give him more of a fair chance and be more understanding......


I'd stop filtering the story. Give your parents, and anyone else who knows him, the "whole megilah".... I know, if I were a parent hearing the same story from my daughter, I would not be suggesting "understanding" and "fairness".


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## Therelocatedwife (Nov 23, 2017)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*



sokillme said:


> Would be to me.
> 
> Your parents should accept your choices you are an adult.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much and you're so right. I should just go with what feels right for me. I just wasn't sure if they were saying what they were saying because they don't know the full story i.e. prostitutes + transgender female prostitutes, etc.... My parents are fantastic and I know they will accept and support whatever I decide in the end. I think they are also coming from a place of never being divorced and married for 35 years... They probably know the beginning can be very difficult in marriage and its all about learning about the other person and being patient...... I am just convinced though that what I am facing is extremely hard to swallow and tough for most people to face.. also and HOPEFULLY, very rare circumstance (re finding out about prostitutes etc). Not sure if their opinion would differ if they knew the full details.... My husband's reaction is "I am sorry" and that it was different because we were married yet.....but in my view, there's no difference especially when committing such a thing so close to asking me to spend the rest of my life with him.... (plus quit my career, sell my furniture etc to relocate to where he was).... but somehow he thinks there's this clear distinction drawn pre-marriage/ post-marriage and I just don't understand this train of thought....


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

You are just 15 months into your marriage
and all ready having problems. Maybe 
you should continue with the divorced
Seeking transgender prostitutes two 
weeks before marriage (STDS)
How do you think he would feel 
if you had done this.? How do 
you know he still is not doing this?
Engaged to me means I am 
fully committed to you.
We were not married yet is just
an excuse.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*



Therelocatedwife said:


> Thank you so much and you're so right. I should just go with what feels right for me. I just wasn't sure if they were saying what they were saying because they don't know the full story i.e. prostitutes + transgender female prostitutes, etc.... My parents are fantastic and I know they will accept and support whatever I decide in the end. I think they are also coming from a place of never being divorced and married for 35 years... They probably know the beginning can be very difficult in marriage and its all about learning about the other person and being patient...... I am just convinced though that what I am facing is extremely hard to swallow and tough for most people to face.. also and HOPEFULLY, very rare circumstance (re finding out about prostitutes etc). Not sure if their opinion would differ if they knew the full details.... My husband's reaction is "I am sorry" and that it was different because we were married yet.....but in my view, there's no difference especially when committing such a thing so close to asking me to spend the rest of my life with him.... (plus quit my career, sell my furniture etc to relocate to where he was).... but somehow he thinks there's this clear distinction drawn pre-marriage/ post-marriage and I just don't understand this train of thought....


First off no matter what anyone tells you, in the end the only one living your life is YOU. Don't settle. I suspect for you, me and most people having their spouse seeing prostitutes period, let alone in the middle of getting married would be a bridge WAY TOO FAR. But even if it wasn't, and again everyone said you were wrong, it's still YOUR life. 

You have no kids and your husband entered your marriage on false pretenses so therefore no responsibly to anyone else. Now is the time to go for the life YOU want. 

I would also say you seem young, a short marriage with no kids is much easier to recover from at a young age, then a long one with kids in your middle age. His behavior is the kind that show some serious problems, most of the time insurmountable, which makes him a very poor choice to be married to. Your parents advice is unwise, but since they were probably isolated being married for 35 years they can get a pass. People like your husband are a trap and are dangerous. My advice would be Run!

One question why not tell them about the prostitutes?


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## Therelocatedwife (Nov 23, 2017)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*



Therelocatedwife said:


> Thank you for your input. I really appreciate it as I feel like I am treated as though I am unreasonable. Also wanted to clarify, it was 2 weeks before proposal... We were engaged in DEC2017 and married JAN2018, long story short as per recommendation by immigration lawyers... they said it was in our best interest to be married at least on paper due to my + his immigration status at the time (long story short)...


Oops correction on above. I meant we were engaged in DEC2016, married in JAN 2017.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

This is no marriage. Because he is not marriage material.

Cut your losses and hold your head high. Nobody in their right mind would fault you knowing ALL the details.

Get tested for stds!


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## Therelocatedwife (Nov 23, 2017)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*



sokillme said:


> First off no matter what anyone tells you, in the end the only one living your life is YOU. Don't settle. I suspect for you, me and most people having their spouse seeing prostitutes period, let alone in the middle of getting married would be a bridge WAY TOO FAR. But even if it wasn't, and again everyone said you were wrong, it's still YOUR life.
> 
> You have no kids and your husband entered your marriage on false pretenses so therefore no responsibly to anyone else. Now is the time to go for the life YOU want.
> 
> ...



Hello,

Thank you for your response. I really appreciate your feedback. What makes it so hard is that when I reflect back on all the good times and wonderful memories, I know this amazing side of him that made me feel really special and loved. I am also no angel. Ever since I moved to California for him and I was having tremendous anxiety over his spending habits (he loves to shop designer brands etc, full story on my previous threads) and also extreme loneliness as my busy work life all of a sudden changed to no work and no friends in a completely new country+city, I am sure I was not the easiest person to be around... But by the time I found out about the details about infidelity in October, I just about lost it... I almost checked myself into the hospital as I was that devastated. Ever since, I have been struggling and I am ashamed to say that I have questioned him, cried hysterically, and threatened divorce countless times.... Things were bad. And I guess we should have just divorced then but we were both in the "bargaining/ denial" sort of stage and trying to fight for the marriage yet struggling, etc, the perfect chaos. I guess we are now at the bitter end of it and we are both fed up and starting to figure out that we could not live a happy life together......

But at the same time, when things are good, things are amazing. There's this one side of me that truly want to 100% believe him that seeing prostitutes were something he did before we officially tied the knot and will not happen again.... He also has depression so maybe that's why he was being so reckless???

See, I'm doing it again... I'm trying to make up excuses for him.......can't help it....isn't this what people in love do though?.....

Anyway, so while I have that side of my brain, the other side is screaming out loud "I deserve better than that", "I would have never done that", "if he could betray me at the height of our courtship and honeymoon period, he will certainly do it again when the going gets tough", "how can you have a child with a man who pays for sex?", etc etc.... I am honestly losing it. It's this constant battle of switching thoughts and brains..... 

So I have not had the heart to tell my parents about the prostitutes and those details probably because I think there is a part of me that is hoping that we will work through this and therefore do not want my parents to think any worse of him, I don't want them to hate him....... They already know that infidelity is part of the story.... so I think I am again, trying to protect him a little bit in a way by not sharing the full story...... Probably also protecting myself because I am starting to admit that there was maybe an error in judgement.... I am ashamed and humiliated......

But at the end of all this, I can't help but worry about him the most...... So lost.... So I appreciate you and everyone's feedbacks.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*



Therelocatedwife said:


> Hello,
> 
> Thank you for your response. I really appreciate your feedback. What makes it so hard is that when I reflect back on all the good times and wonderful memories, I know this amazing side of him that made me feel really special and loved. I am also no angel. Ever since I moved to California for him and I was having tremendous anxiety over his spending habits (he loves to shop designer brands etc, full story on my previous threads) and also extreme loneliness as my busy work life all of a sudden changed to no work and no friends in a completely new country+city, I am sure I was not the easiest person to be around... But by the time I found out about the details about infidelity in October, I just about lost it... I almost checked myself into the hospital as I was that devastated. Ever since, I have been struggling and I am ashamed to say that I have questioned him, cried hysterically, and threatened divorce countless times.... Things were bad. And I guess we should have just divorced then but we were both in the "bargaining/ denial" sort of stage and trying to fight for the marriage yet struggling, etc, the perfect chaos. I guess we are now at the bitter end of it and we are both fed up and starting to figure out that we could not live a happy life together......
> 
> ...


You sound like you reacted like everyone who has been cheated on. I don't think you did anything unreasonable considering the circumstances. Guys who frequent prostitutes especially as a pattern when they are with a living women who presumably is into them have serious sexual problems. They DO NOT make a good choice for a long term relationships. Trust me (and the other who are going to agree with me on this following this post) you will talk to him 30 years from now and learn he is divorced 3 times and has an STD like HIV and a whole bunch of other problems that all come from this. I know you love him but one of the things you learn when you get older is love is not enough. People who have this kind of character flaw end up making your life very hard if you attach yourself to them. 

Do yourself a favor take the year of hard work it will take to get over him, work on your picker so you can find a better man next time and move on. Think of it like chemo, pain now for healing later. Your future husband and kids will thank you for it. 

Was yours a long distance courtship? Where did you come from? Will you go back?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

This would absolutely be a deal-breaker. No question at all.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

It is entirely up to you what is and isn't a deal breaker. You don't need to justify it to anyone. That said, I think most people would consider having sex with prostitutes while dating to be a deal breaker.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

Well, you're already making excuses for him and lying for him to your parents, so it's kind of obvious you're already setting yourself up to accept the **** sandwich he's served up to you.

I've known a lot of depressed people in my lifetime, but none of them actively hunted for transgender prostitutes so they could go get their freak on with them. "Depression" is such a bull**** excuse for what amounts to nothing more than *bad, unacceptable *behavior, so don't make excuses for his CHOICES.

But I will tell you, I have the feeling you've only scratched the surface with this pervert. 

There's more coming your way and it's not going to be good. 

Keep digging. You're going to find out a lot more about him.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

*So exactly what's the upside of continuing in this relationship? He has more than clearly demonstrated that he has absolutely no respect for you! And if you choose to defend those sordid actions of his, then you're no better than he is!

Preeminently, the best choice for you at this juncture is to lose him like a bad habit!*


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

One thing to keep in mind is people aren't really paying prostitutes for just sex.

- they are paying for no-string and paying them to leave after the customer orgasms.

In other words they pay to NOT have any kind of interpersonal relationship. 

Is being with someone who pays money to avoid relationships a wise marriage investment?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

@Therelocatedwife - I have requested the mods combine this thread and a similar thread you have in the General Relationship forum. Just an FYI - One thread per subject. I have responded further to your thread in General Relationship.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

*Re: Is it a deal breaker? Significant other seeing prostitutes while dating?*

You say you have no children? Keep this jerk off around and you can be assured you will never have kids. What he is doing will ruin your life. You are exposing yourself to STDS that will change your life forever. Please please don’t ignore yourself and your happiness. This is coming from someone that has been down your road.


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