# Help married and have feelings for ex



## injblv

Hello i have been married for 8 years now together for 11 with my husband. We have a 1 year old daughter. LAtely i fell disconnected from him- like i cant do anything right or say anything right. I am a stay at home mom and feel like i am here to cook clean and please him. I can't get excited to see him anymore.One question is how do i bring that back? Second there is more one of my exs started coming around.. he makes me feel so wanted and great about myself. NOw it gets complicated- he is engaged also but isnt happy. HE tells me how beautiful i am and is always texting or callign to see how i am which my husband never does. we stay up till 2 in the mornign just talking i feel so attracted to him.
I am just so confused right now! Any advice out there?


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## TNgirl232

You are having an emotional affair and if you want any hope of saving your marriage you need to cut off all contact with this man. You also need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband of all the things you feel are missing in your relationship. Go to counseling if you need an impartial person to help.

I don't care how this guy makes you feel. Do you want to be the kind of person who steps out on their husband....do you really want to be with someone who would do that to someone else. What's to keep him from doing it to you in the future? Life is never what you dream it will be once the excitement of a new person fades and the rush of doing something you shouldn't fade. Then you have to deal with the bills, work, the house, the ex and custody arrangements.


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## preso

injblv said:


> Hello i have been married for 8 years now together for 11 with my husband. We have a 1 year old daughter. LAtely i fell disconnected from him- like i cant do anything right or say anything right. I am a stay at home mom and feel like i am here to cook clean and please him. I can't get excited to see him anymore.One question is how do i bring that back? Second there is more one of my exs started coming around.. he makes me feel so wanted and great about myself. NOw it gets complicated- he is engaged also but isnt happy. HE tells me how beautiful i am and is always texting or callign to see how i am which my husband never does. we stay up till 2 in the mornign just talking i feel so attracted to him.
> I am just so confused right now! Any advice out there?


are you saying you are feeling you married the wrong man?


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## injblv

TNgirl232- Thanks for the advice i never looked at it in that way maybe too blind.although i still need to get rid of these feeligns for my ex. I try and i just can't. 

preso- i dunno if i married the wrong man all i can say is that these feeling wont go away and when i see him my heart melts he hugs me and it feel wonderful to be in his arms.. I dont feel this when my husband hugs me? I am so confused.....


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## dobo

If you get rid of the substitute, your feelings will return to your husband.

Also, you should talk to your husband about what is missing in your life and tell him about the developing feeligns for the ex-. He needs to understand the dangerous place your marriage is in.


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## injblv

Thanks! I have tried to talk to him but he just laughs thinks its a joke.. i am soo lost. I cant control these feelings for the other guy. I am trying to let go but i just can't. My husband wanted sex last night i did not feel one bit attracted to hi.


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## Atholk

injblv said:


> One question is how do i bring that back?


In a sense you can't. Most womens sexuality is hardwired to respond to mens actions. (The same way men are hardwired to respond to say cleavage). He's not acting in a manner to trigger your attraction. The only real hope is to tell your husband what you like and hope that he listens.




injblv said:


> Second there is more one of my exs started coming around.. he makes me feel so wanted and great about myself. NOw it gets complicated- he is engaged also but isnt happy. HE tells me how beautiful i am and is always texting or callign to see how i am which my husband never does. we stay up till 2 in the mornign just talking i feel so attracted to him.


Your ex is pushing your attraction buttons. Hence you liking him.

Solution: Drop all contact with ex. Get husband to act like ex does.

Warning: ex may be BSing you to get into your pants.


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## redzongbyrd

ooh honey! you must cut ties with your ex if you want to make it better for your marriage. Have you expressed to your husband that you don't feel appreciated? I know how you can feel that way, I have three kids and I also am a stay at home mom.
I don't know if this will work for you, but I tend to go back and reminisce about the days when my husband and I were dating and I go back and look at our wedding photos because it helps me remember.
Also my husband and I are intentional about dating each other, its good to get away together and just talk. My husband and I are not just lovers but each others best friend. We are very open with one another, no matter how mean it may sound, we express it when we're disgruntled.We get it out and then apologize if we have to.
another question too, have you lost respect for your husband? has he done things that make you admire him less? some of your needs are not being met, that's why you are being attracted to your ex. 
You must talk to your husband about how you feel. If he thinks it a joke, then show him how you feel. If you are angry, let him see it,men don't see hints, they seen neon signs.
I really hope that you can't light the fire again in your marriage.Don't throw it away for a fling with your ex.
God bless you. I will pray for you.


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## dsfg_lover_001

Well i understand how you feel.You should go out more ,coz as you said you are staying home mother,maybe you just feel that your husband dont give you as much as attention as before.But you need to clear to know that if you still wanna run the marriage with him and go appreciate to him more.You are being emotional now.Hope you wont make any mistakes to make you regret.


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## cb45

(aaaah, i'm back:jester

ok i'll bite first:crazy:......gee injblv, why did u & ex break up in the 1st place huh??? 

:scratchhead:

i said,:scratchhead:


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