# Very depressed and anxious i am sorry about the length but i am in dire need of help



## play me my song (Dec 17, 2010)

I am married man in his early 30s who suffers from depression, anxiety, ADHD, and social anxiety. I have been going through an excruciating time as of late. It all started when I was getting married over 2 years ago. There has been a long history of conflict between my parents and my wife. They have been pretty awful to her and it has greatly affected me. In response, she has become very angry and overly-sensitive to their actions, which is understandable. I too am to blame for not standing up for her in the beginning, but I had been swimming in dirty water for so long I did not even realize it was not clean. 
My wife is the love of my life. She is my life and she means beyond the world to me. She is the most wonderful person I ever met.
The main issue of tension revolves around a pre-nuptial agreement my dad made us sign. In retrospect, I when I saw how much it hurt her, I should have never let her sign it and I did tell her I still would marry her if she did not sign it, but she did. When I first told her about it she called my father up and he screamed at her and told her she would “…never get his money.” My father is a wealthy man who is obsessed with money and is socially retarded (for lack of a better term) and does not know how to deal with people. Keep in mind my brother and my sister did not have to sign any type of agreement. The first draft of the agreement my dad had drawn up. It read like an indentured servitude contract. I told him this is not the type of marriage I want to have with my wife and found another lawyer who basically only protected my inheritance, my stock portfolio and my condo, the latter two had been funded by my father. I did this because I believe anything that I make while we were married should be both of ours and what he want to do with his money is his decision. She also was going to keep her account that had prior to our marriage. Later, after we were married and when things calmed down a little, as a sign of good faith and at the urging of my couples therapist (who does not seem to think very much of me but she has helped so and my wife likes her so I put up with it). 
There was a lot of pain back and forth and I have been in the middle of everything. My mom did not come to my engagement party because she has a pelvic issue and said she could not fly, but she was in Florida on a three week vacation the week before. Now she claims she was never even invited which we did and she debated it for at least a month. (she is a recovering uppers and downers addict). They were never very warm to my wife. TO stand up to them I told them that they could not give a speech at my wedding. This really hurt me because I would have loved to have my entire family speak, but because of my wife’s feelings, I would not allow it. They were crushed and embarrassed by this. My sister even berated me at the wedding about it and I almost cried. After the wedding my parents continued to depress me by telling me they were losing me. The guilt they tired to inflict, sometimes successfully and sometimes unsuccessfully was unbelievable and they continuously try to make me feel guilty everytime something does not go the way they want it. My wife continued to tell me they were horrible people. 
On and off, my wife has really tried to have a relationship with them. Each time, either they did something wrong or my wife was way too overly sensitive over the smallest details of the things they would do. I understand why she was hurt, but some of these complaints no one would really read into the things she did or would be concerned about them. My dad offered to buy us a house with part of my inheritance. She was all for it and it seemed that she was getting along with them. We found out that my dad wanted to be put on the deed with the both of us in joint tenancy. This actually was a smart idea and a dumb idea. We would have avoided the gift tax and the estate tax by buying the house now. But it was inappropriate due to my wife’s concern about him and money. I refused the gift. Since then she says I can get a house as long as I handled everything and she had final approval, because she finally understood why he did this but I refused because it just is not worth it. However, this was the last straw and she said she really did not want to have anything to do with them. 
During the period before the house incident, my parent had been really nice to my wife but she would not acknowledge this and she would find the smallest most insignificant things to pick on. For instance, my mom called me at work to invite us to a holiday and she went nuts because they did not call or email her to invite her too. Her parents never personally invite me to anything and I think nothing of it (I have a great relationship with them). They even did some very nice things like pay for a semester of her law school education and gave us money to help for the rest of law school. They did this without us asking for it. I understand she is hurt. It is not the perfect situation because my dad is socially retarded, my mom does not want to be held accountable for anything, and my wife is very hurt, and rightfully so, and is a pretty angry person.

The recent developments of my life have brought me close to a nervous breakdown. From my therapist, couples counselor, and wife’s pleading, as well as my own awakening and realizations, I went to my parents house to confront them about these issues. I did this in hope to make myself feel better, do right by my wife, make them understand what they have done and the consequences for their actions, and to try and mend the relationship so I can have some semblance of a family. On the first occasion, I was very anxious but I pushed myself to confront them. My mother had excuses or does not remember anything I said happening. She will not hold herself accountable for anything. My father did not understand why these things were so wrong. However, they assured me that they would love to have a relationship with my wife, and insisted that they would apologize to her after she was done with her law school finals. My wife said she does not buy it. I also explained to them that we were not coming to thanksgiving dinner and they could not accept that. I did this to try to make them understand there are consequences to their actions. They were so upset by this that it made me very depressed but I know I did the right thing. Instead, we went to spend thanksgiving with my Mother’s three brothers. My parents no longer talk to them because of a dispute in my grandfather’s will giving them the business that they all worked at and not giving my mother a piece of that business, probably because she was married to a very wealthy attorney. They sold the business a few years later for a ridiculous amount of money and are now retired. They have been so good to both myself and my wife after we have slowly established a relationship with them. Anyway, we went there for thanksgiving and I knew that this would really hurt my parents if they knew about this, but they have accepted my wife unconditionally. We had a great time. However, the next few days I was so depressed I could barely get out of bed because I of how much this would hurt my parents. 
A few weeks later I went up a second time to confront my parents on more issues, mainly involving how making my wife miserable has pushed my depression towards the point of unbearable. They asked what we did for thanksgiving and I told them the truth because I wanted to do the right thing. They were very hurt. I continued to talk to them about the issues and thanks giving. We eventually had a more pleasant conversation about random things. Anyway, I went home and my asked me what happened. Of course, as usual, she found a reason to be angry at me because I agreed with my mother that things at one time were getting better between my wife and my parents and I agree with that statement, even though I did not let them know that. 
The next day my wife to study and I went about my day. I go home from the gym that night and my brother-in-law had left several messages on my machine that my dad was in the hospital. I called them back and they told me that my dad had a mini-stroke. They blamed it on the conversation I had with them the day before, hell, I blamed myself the second I heard about the incident. Needless to say I felt beyond terrible. I thought I killed my father. I finally got hold of my mother, who did not call me, and she told me that they all thought they he just had a panic attack but I should not tell them so much and I must take it easy on him. I called my brother, who is a doctor and went to see him, and he told me it was not a stroke and I should not blame myself because I have to be able to have hard discussions with my father but that I should take it easy on him. When I finally talked to my father that night he told me he thought he was going to be fine his mind just went blank and started stuttering uncontrobaly for about a minute or two. He said that he would like to go to family therapy with my wife and try to mend things, but I do not think she would be open to this concept.
My sister called me the next day to tell me that I have to take it easy on my father. She was very condescending and passive-aggressive and was telling me information like her kids, who I was cvery close to, are very scared that their poppy was going to die. I got into a fight with her and she just told me how I have turned into another human being with no passion for life whatsoever. She is right. 
Two days later, my sister called me to tell me that my dad was coming back to work, which I already knew because I had talked to him several times that week. She told me again to take it easy on him and I agreed to because I had to desire to upset him anymore. She then went into the fact that she is sorry for the “injustices and the struggles” that her and parents have put us through since we got married. I called her out on this and told her I felt that I was completely insincere and she instead she was serious. I do not believe her but what is the point with fight with an insane person. I really have enough problems in my life I do not need to fixate on anger. I then got off the phone with her. My wife heard the conversation and was irate with me because I did not stand up for myself. I thought I did to an extent and on another point it was really not worth another hour conversation with her that goes nowhere. My wife has a conspiracy theory that my mother was making my sister call me to make me feel bad. She then insisted that when she was done with finals, she wanted to sit down with my parents and have it out with them. She believed that they are blaming for this health problem and this was the most despicable thing that they have ever done. She also did not believe that I stood up for myself, which I did at the very least, with my two last meeting with my parents. Most importantly, and a point I do not think I go across to well, she wanted to explained to them how they have been torturing me and how I am an absolute shell of who I once was. My heart sunk and I thought I was going to swallow my tongue. I would have loved for her to do this at anytime throughout this whole conflict, but since my father had such a hard time with this, by the way he is on kumondine (sp) for his heart and his levels were extremely low and they did not confirm that he did not suffer a mini-stroke at the hospital because of the low levels are indicative of a stroke and he is almost 79 years old, also my li. I told her, and I believed that I could not let her meet with them in fear of something happening to my father. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened. She then said “do you want to get a divorce?” then she agreed she would write them a letter, but I do not know if this is such a good idea either. 
I am so depressed and so scared that my marriage is going to be destroyed by this. I love my wife so much and we have a great relationship except when it comes to the issue of my parents and sister. And some of her bad traits is she does get angry and does hold grudges. I also do not want disown or cease to talk to my parents. They love me very much and I love them, even though I think they have done more damage than my wife has in this relationship. I also do not want to have to move away from our friends and my job and this is my home. She is from a different state (she moved here right before we met), because the market is so bad. I had aspirations of a relationship where the two sides could at least coexist but I think that is a pipe dream. At this point I just want to have a separate relationship with both sides with my wife being by far my highest priority. 
Because of recent events, and talking to a friend whose father recently passed away, I really do want to spend some time with my parents. They are older and I do not know how much longer they will live. I am afraid if I cut them off or something along those lines I will have resentment towards my wife for the rest of my life. However, I love my wife and I want to protect her. What happens though when we have kids? 
I also do not want to hurt my wife anymore and want to stand by her and up for her. I also must get out of the terrible depression that this has a hold on me. It is pretty bad when activity is normal but now it is really to the point where I do not have any joy or optimism about life whatsoever. 
What should I do? How should I deal with my parents, my wife and my depression? PLEASE HELP


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## Maegan (Dec 26, 2010)

Oh wow, this is so tough - I don't know that I can truly say that I can offer unbiased advice because my father in law is so so harsh to me and always telling my husband to put his foot down with me and always tells me what to do. But what I hear you saying so much is you love your wife, you called her the love of your life. My opinion comes from a bias of course, so you need to do what you think is right, but that being written, it sounds like you love her so much. You don't want to lose her. You need to set up some boundaries with your parents so that you can still have them in your life and not resent your wife, but protect her, and you do need to protect her. So boundaries are crucial. For your depression, and your marriage, a counselor should help you to set up boundaries and guide you through this so that your wife and you come to an agreement where you are both happy. I would suggest marriage counseling so you are both there to discuss everything in front of each other, but I also suggest another therapist just for you to talk about things privately. I hope this helps you. I wish you the best. Please take care.


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## KTwo (Dec 27, 2010)

You say that you love your wife very much. Well OK but the person you describe doesn't sound very loveable. She can be angry and hold grudges. You say that your parents are obsessed with money yet it seems like your wife is right in there on issues about money. She has problems with a prenuptual agreement but she is a lawyer and knows the need for agreements like that where there is a lot of money involved. As a lawyer she would be the first to advise getting a prenuptual agreement. If your marriage is great and forever, plus she has her own career, then what does she care about a prenuptial that will never be used? Your marriage doesn't sound as wonderful as you let on. Look at the shape you are in right now. Could her focus on the money be part of the problem?

I suggest that you take the path your sister alludes to. Your sister might be condescending or she might be trying to approach things gently and offer a different perspective. How about just saying to everyone that you are done talking about money? Tell your Dad that he can give you money free and clear with no strings, or in his will, but you don't want to talk about it anymore. Tell your wife that you love her deeply but she is a lawyer and knows all about prenuptual agreements and would be the first to advise getting one if the two of you were her client. Tell her you want your relationship to get beyond money and focus on building loving relationships and you are done with bickering over cash. Tell everyone that you want to look forward and move on and don't want to talk about it anymore. You want to just have relationships with people you love and are done with talking about wills and agreements. Lay the ground rules and then stick to your guns. You can then be in a position where you can be a little bit more objective, and actually see who is fixated on money by seeing who refuses to let it go.

I feel badly for you. You should put yourself first and take care of yourself. Take it easy on yourself. Step away from the money bickering. You all have more than enough money so let everyone know you aren't interested in talking about it anymore. See a sympathetic Doctor who can help you with your depression. Once you deal with the depression you will see things more clearly and it will all be easier.


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## KTwo (Dec 27, 2010)

KTwo continued ... I just re read your email again and I am afraid I may have got some of the facts wrong in my previous response. I stick to the original idea though. You say your wife is innocent and loving yet the events in your email don't reveal that. Look after yourself and step away and tell everyone you will focus on relationships as best you can but only on moving forward. Remember that if you are depressed you are not seeing things clearly. I think it is very important that you see your own Doctor (a physician and not involving your wife.) A Doctor can get you on some very effective treatments and in a couple of months the world can look very, very different.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I think your basic problem is the depression. If your mood was lifted then I think you would be less emotionally labile and you would be able to handle things better. 

I have to ask what do you want? If the answer starts with the desires of others then I would ask you to reconsider. You can spend the rest of your life being buffeted around by the strong personalities that you are surrounded with or you can decide what you think is best to do and carry that plan out. You will never please every one completely and it does you a great disservice to demand it of yourself and for anyone else to demand it of you. 

You sound like a sensible person and you have your priorities correct, now it the time to take a stand. Not an argument or discussion just a statement of what you feel is best to do given all the cercumstances. Once you are self directed all of the confusion will fall away. You are no longer trying to please 10 masters, you set the priorities and execute them. 

Your wife is very important and your desire to make her comfortable and happy is a good thing but there are limits and you must establish them. She must forgive what has happened in the past, she must forgive you for not sticking up for her in the begining and she must stop the angry out burst at you. If you feel the couples therapist is not balanced get another one. If the therapist is not asking your wife to drop the angry out burst and demands then he is not a good therapist. 

At any rate, you are like a ship battered by the sea and wind, get your sails up, sit at the helm and get the ship into safe waters, get the mutineers under control.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

It is hard to find the courage to stand up for yourself, because you do not want to be "wrong." Scary, but that is the price we pay for our autony: you might be wrong, but you sure as heck need to make a decision about how to handle all this and then *truly* refuse to listen if anyone says you are "wrong." 

I think the advice to take money out of the picture is great. One problem solved. Remember, just do not engage--and if someone won't respect your decision on that, you remind them, once and once only, to respect your decision or stop trying to contact you. Harsh? Yes. Scary? Yes, because people do die when we are angry at them, or disconnected. That does not mean we "caused" it or that the relationship would have been better if we had given in. You'll be *miserable* if you give in, and *miserable* if you have to cut ties--but anyone who puts you in the spot to make that decison, by refusing to respect your boundaries, does not desire the emotion you might otherwise spend on them after cutting ties. That's why it has to be non-negotiable and they must know it, because your decision is a reflection of how much they respect and love you--enough to observe your boundaries, or not enough? 

Also, what about just visiting your parents on your own and leaving your wife out of it? She may be very relieved to find you don't want her to be involved anymore, in any way, at least not for a while. You want everyone to be one big happy family, but clearly that won't happen (unless wife agrees to family counseling as suggested by your dad, and that counseling actually works. Worth a try!)


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## play me my song (Dec 17, 2010)

Thank you all for responding UPDATE: 
so many new things have happened. in our next couples she annouced that she may want a divorce because of the events involving me being depressed over causing a potential health problem with my dad while she had finals (while i understand depression effects everyone in a relationship she was in the library for 14 hours a day while i was in this state.) She said she was going back to her parents house in another state to decide what she wanted to do. (this trip was planned far in advance). That night we went out and had a great time after i told her how shocked and hurt i was. The night before her vacation she made me this big nice dinner. I really do not get what is going on. She never really seemed that m=pissed off at me. She came home yesterday and she is sick. I told her if and when she wanted to talk about anything to just tell me. While she was away i wrote her and email about what i would do to make our relationship better. She has not even acknowledge it. If she was not sick i would confront all of this. 
Since her leaving, while i was depressed, in another way my depression from since we got married started to lift. I finally realize that i have to forgive my self for what i have done. at the heart of it i am the kindest bigest hearted man there is (she even knows this). I know she is not going to say anything until the couples counslor tomorrow. Keep in mind this couples therapist loves her and asks her about all the things going on in her life. She has called me a liar, a fragile person, a person that will not change. all these things really are unfair and not true. BUt my depression had put me in a daze. 
I realize i really did not do anything this time but i am telling her she never has to have contact with my family ever again. I will continue to have a relationship with them but to tell you the truth now i have a new perspective i am pissed off at both sides. 
I mean she just left me to decide if she was going to leave me. Now she is sitting on my couch with noting to say about it. I am sick of living in this depressed state. I now realize if this marraige is going to work, this therapist needs to go. I also deserve better from everyone. I have to forgive myself. She has to forgive me or this will never work. Any advice? We see the therapist tomorrow


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## play me my song (Dec 17, 2010)

and yes i do see a cognitive therapist and a therapist that helps with careers. Beleive it or now the one that helps the carrer has bvery insightful abot my situation. There are many things that go ignored in this marraige for instance she has completely lost her sex drive. we only have sex on vacation. I brought this up to the couples therapist and she said that it was important and if we needed to we can go see another therapist that specializes in sex. I find this a crazy response because i really think this is something she can handle herself. Like this is new territory for her. The whole thing is bull**** and it is coming down all on me.


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## play me my song (Dec 17, 2010)

UPDATE
I asked to talk to her about the situation before the therapy session. She told me she still has yet to decide if she want out or not. She told me the things that were bothering her. They were so petty and minor that i was in shock. I defended each and everyone of them because most of them were wrong in the first place. I am now starting to realize that something is clearly wrong here. ANYONE"S IMPUT WOULD BE NICE. This may be a power ploy or manipulation i really do not know. These complaints had nothing to do with my family. The couples thearpist was somewhat fair so i did not go off on her yet. Since everything happened the most miraculous thing happened. My depression has lifted, my confidence is much much higher, and I see so clearly now. I went to my therapist and i was crying i was so happy with the way i am feeling. There is no way i am backing down this time. I even told the couples therapist that I have just done everything i can to make it work, which includes not challenging her. I also told both of them that she has a severe anger problem I realize that all of this [email protected]# turned me into a lapdog for this relationship. What once was love is now indentured servitude. Your not going to believe this but I think I may leave. After all this to be presented with scenarios that if they were the worst problems in your marriage you have an excellent marriage. On the other hand, she has not and is not fulfilling my BASIC needs as a wife and companion. I do not know how this will turn out but with my new found attitude and encourage from this board I have and will stand up to her.

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE WARM WISHES AND ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT> PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND MORE MY WAY. YOU ALL DESERVE A THROWN IN HEAVEN 

OH i almost forgot i am supposed to go away on vacation with her on friday. We are always amazing on vacation but i will never forget the problems and the bull sh$*& i have been put through so it will not sway me. I Do want to show her my new self. And then go into the next therapy session and tell her i am not sure i want to stay married.


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## play me my song (Dec 17, 2010)

If you want to read this her is a list of grievences for why she want to leave me. I find them to be a joke. am I wrong?

1.	Her computer for school had a problem because she spilled water on it. I told her if it could not be repaired we would buy her a new one. I left work early to pick up her computer which worked perfectly. She is now mad because she said if it were my computer I would have bought a new one the second it had a problem. Rewind one month from then. The computer I use for work and for home would not charge anymore because the piece broke off. I had to send it away for what they said would be a month. In the meantime at work I used a desktop from 1995. I could not open any Microsoft attachments or send them because it was so outdated. This was a big problem at work. Granted they returned the computer to me in two weeks but I DID NOT BUY A NEW COMPUTER.
2.	She is mad that I never cook for her. Keep in mind she is amazing cook who brags about how much she loves to do it and how it relaxes her. She also has cooked me about three meals in the past two months, but I am not complaining. I take what I get and she had a brief and finals. She is mad at me that I never cook dinner. I am a terrible cook who could only cook dried out chicken, pasta, or turkey burgers. I actually offered to cook for her on two occasions. Once I asked her if she wanted me to cook her a turkey burger and she said she did not want one she just wanted to go out because she was sick of them. The next time I said I would cook for her I asked “what do you want chicken or pasta” she laughed at the time and order Chinese. Now she looks back and is mad at my “indecision” on what to make. Keep in mind though she cooks I pay for a maid to come every week so she or I never have to clean, we each do our own laundry. I wash the dishes, sometimes she helps. I walk and take care of the dog 99.9 percent of the time. I am always and still very thankful for any meal she cooks for me. It is not like she is slaving away here.
3.	She is mad because she moved into my condo andshe does not have any input into the décor or rooms in the condo. This condo was decorated by a friend. It is very bachelory, but I mean leather couches nothing kinky or anything. She even admit she loves the condo. Everyone who comes over loves the condo. She was mad that I did not “let her” have any input on the place. She wanted a new couch, a new bed, redo the bathroom and more. I really do not like to bring money into this but I was gifted the down payment to this place, which I am beyond grateful for. I work for a living. She used to work and I told her she could quit her job and go to law school full time and I would take care of everything. I warned her that this would be a strain on us but I am willing to do this. Her thirtieth birthday is coming up. She wants, beside the apartment stuff, and open bar party in the major metropolitian city we live in, a trip out of the country which will probably cost 4 or 5 grand, then in June she wants a better car, apiece of cardio exercise equipment and a new computer when hers works fine. I AM ALSO PAYING FOR LAW SCHOOL EXCLUSIVELY AND DO NOT MAKE THAT MUCH. Oh, by the way, we also are still paying off our trip to Paris and Nice that I took her on in the summer. Now I was raised very spoiled and I make a nice wage but nothing crazy by any means. Though I was spoiled rotten as a child I am so thank ful for everything I got. A roof over my head, a job, food on the table, a dog I love like a child, a car A job. I am so fortunate for what I have and this is how I look at it. Grant it, some of our friends went in to business and their families give them ENOURMOUS salaries ect. BUT PLEASE WHAT AMD I DOING WRONG HERE? How can I possibly live up to all of these things she wants? And she also said to our couples therapist that she was not materialistic!
4.	She says that I may incapable of raising kids with her because of my depressive states. I see how others suffer and realize and thank god I have it so good. Everyone who has seen me with children say that I would make the greatest father one day. SHE even said that is one of the reasons she married me. When she saw how unbelievable I was with my nieces she said she knew I would be a perfect dad. Now this is a depression issue and I really do think I can over come this without a problem, honestly. But for better for worse, in sickness and in health. Hello. She also was concerned since I cannot cook and since we probably would have two working parents, she fears for the children because I can not cook and I cannot feed them. I KNOW how to use a microwave. I can learn how to use a stove. I can also order in. This is crazy.
5.	She wanted a piece of exercise equipment for our anniversary because she returned the barclet I got her, which is fine she just did not like it. One day during finals she told me to look at al the exercise equipment and ask about it. She wanted a treadmill. She also has a bad knee. (keep in mind I pay for her gym membership which she never uses and is two blocks away). I told her she should get an elliptical machine because they are much better on your joints. I also mentioned that I could use it too because that is what I run on. She called me selfish. So I went ot look at all this equipment. WHO WOULD MAKE APURCHASE OF SUCH EQUIPMENT WITHOUT TRYING IT OUT. I looked at treadmills, bikes, ellipticals, and stairmasters but I really need her to be there to try them out. I knew this…the people in the store tole me this. I understand she was in finals but COME ON. I called her and I said I checked things out gave her some input and said when you are done with finals you should come and try it out. She said “fine” in a pissy way and I did not get it. It turns out she expected me to come home that day with ANY piece of equipment. She would have been fine she said even with an elliptical. She is Now mad at me for not bring home a piece of quipment she has never seen that day. This is insane


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## anon_ (Feb 24, 2011)

I don't know what's the update since december of last year,
but I hope you're doing better now.

It seems to be that you're trapped in a relationship that's never going to give you the love you deserve.

It seems you tried hard with your parents and your wife.. But with all respect she seems like a *****, and they seem a little bit to harsh and unreasonable.

In the end of the day protecting their money should not be the priority, but PROTECTING HIS SON, *YOU* yes, YOU.

And I can see A LOT OF PAIN that they are inflicting but also they are letting your wife step over you not in the economical but the emotional side.
It saddenns me to know there is a VERY GOOD GUY out there, and there are girls that wish to have a very dedicated husband like you sound...

I wish you the very best...

and know I am here to talk as much as I can..


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## play me my song (Dec 17, 2010)

Thank you for the lovely post. Here is my update: Things have been going very well both in my life and in my marriage. We are both trying very hard to meet each others needs. I do not know if this will last but so far it has been very good. I have just come to the realization of keeping my wife and my parents separate. It has solved so many problems both in my head and in reality. It is not what i ideally want but i can not take it from either side anymore. My depression lifted for a while and is slowly coming back. I am going to try to fight it though. She has been great so far since all this happened. We even have cut back on marriage counseling to once every other week and we have nothing to talk about when we are there (nothing bad anyway) but you can bet the therapist tries to almost invent problems that have not come up yet. THings in our marriage have really never been better. I sometimes feel something is missing but i really have not caught up with that feelingt to understand it.


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