# Medically instructed downtime



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I'm looking for some advice on what I (specifically) can do in our current predicament.

Long story short, I had to have some emergency medical treatment which could possibly lead to surgery. Right now I'm in a medicated "wait and see" mode to determine if the surgery is actually necessary. The doctor has insisted that PIV sex is off the table for Odo and I for at least the next few MONTHS. Absolutely no orgasms for me. That's the setup.

My life carries on as normal otherwise: work is a little more active as both my boss and coworker have been away on personal leave for the last 2 weeks so I've been manning the fort and unable to take any time off. I'm doing well without allowing myself to suffer undue stress, clients seem happy, and my team is back next week. 

It's been about one and 1/2 weeks thus far. I'm really fine. The drugs make me more tired than usual, occasionally nauseous, and I'm forbidden from caffeine. I knew as soon as I heard the urging of the doctor that this was serious and that it'd be difficult for me, not just because of lack of sex itself, but because for me, it's how I bond with Odo. He is being really wonderful about this and there's a lot of emotional worry that I'm keeping in check while I have weekly tests to monitor progress. I'm a weather-beaten tough old leather mentally, just taking developments as cerebrally as I can. I've never been "sick" or needed surgery my entire life so this has been unfamiliar territory where my body and feelings are concerned. One more lesson of life. 

Apart from the glaringly obvious (give him plenty of enthusiastic BJs), I'm open to any thoughts on how I can both make him feel appreciated and keep the bond strong from both our POVs. I'm already feeling it weakening in a way. He's becoming somewhat distant (perhaps throwing himself into work like I tend to do), been sleeping on the couch more so as "not to disturb" me while I sleep. I sleep incredibly poorly when he's not in the bed, so I have asked him to stay in our bed. I know that the no PIV thing is really hurting him. He usually can't keep his hands off me in bed and now he has to. 

So, to share some of the things I've/we've been doing to actively deal with this:

- Enthusiastic BJs as often as I can offer (once every 3 days is his norm but I make it available whenever)

- A mandatory quality time event each night we are both around (movie, board game, walking the dogs, browsing something silly together like People of Walmart... Anything to keep us laughing).

- More personally-fulfilling quality time activities alone (crochet, coloring, beadwork, driving, cooking, reading, currently learning Morse code). Basically trying to keep my spirits up and brain active so I'm not a Debbie Downer. 

- We do ballroom dance lessons every weekend (sticking to slow dances) and have season tickets to two classical concert series, so our weekends are usually occupied with culture. 

I'm open to other thoughts or ideas, maybe from others who've been in a similar situation. Maybe there are ways to bond that I'm not considering. 

Much appreciated.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I think he should file for divorce immediately!
I'm joking of course and I have great sympathy for your predicament.Do you tire easily because I was going to suggest simply going for a long walk in the woods or on the beach whatever is nearby.How about going to a comedy night or even attending some football or baseball matches,anything that will get you laughing or cheering together is bonding.
Or you could try baking or cooking together,there is a college near me that runs evening courses for couples in baking and anyone I know who took part always seemed to enjoy themselves.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

@Satya, 

As you know, my Dear Hubby had heart failure, and so medically he could not do PIV for the whole ... event. However, both of us were very sexual beings, and we quite literally could not and did not want to keep our hands off each other, so we looked into several options. Our decision was to do whatever we could and be as open and honest during...the event...to make adjustments as needed. 

To be honest, if all we had done was BJs...it would have gotten oldish fairly quickly. So we looked into all possible methods of physical and emotional and spiritual intimacy. To us the idea was to FEEL close and then physically BE close. So we tried various positions--some working better than others. His stamina was low, so for example, spooning positions on our side were wonderful. We tried various speeds--again, we found that going at it slower and keeping that slow speed while looking into each other's eyes was wonderful! We tried various ... body parts. That is to say, we discovered that feet could be VERY erotic, and so could breasts, and even the cheeks from behind! LOL We tried starting with one method and ending with another. Sometimes we'd use toys...and we expanded toys to include fun things like feathers and blindfolds. Neither of us enjoyed rough-housing, but some folks might enjoy a silk scarf tie up or mild things like that. We tried various temperatures, textures, and ... well frankly food. Food makes for AMAZINGLY fun sex, and it's playful! For example, we built the most amazing sundae with a cherry on top 

My point here is that PIV and BJs are not all there is to this. At times we felt embarrassed because we'd never tried this or that...but hey if you can't try it with your spouse and find out you don't like it, who can you try it with? And at times we felt like crazy high-schoolers playing with the ice cream scoop and falling together laughing. Some of it was revealing what felt good and what we wanted to each other. Some of it was learning to talk sexy. Some of it was not sex at all but just moving seductively--Dear Hubby LOVED that. Try a private belly dance (you never know--you may be good at it and he may eat it up!). Get some ridiculously sexy underthings that you feel like a red hot mama in. One time, I wore fishnets, crotchless panties and bright red lipstick and nothing else, and it drove him WILD! 

So see what I mean? Get intimate.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Thanks guys,
@Andy1001, your suggestion of a comedy night is a good idea. Sports are not really our thing, although we certainly live around a lot of events. Maybe it would be good to mix it up and try to see a game, tickets often get offered up at work. Yours are all good ideas that I'll seriously consider. Thank you. 
@Affaircare, thank you for your honesty. You're absolutely right, I'm thinking a bit one-dimentionally about our intimacy and I need to be a bit more creative. In all honesty, we have both always been pretty "vanilla" and never felt this deprived us... In fact, we've always been well satisfied with the way things were. It's just now that there are restrictions we'll have to be more exploratory. I think it's really wonderful that you and your hubby were able to connect in such touching ways. I appreciate it must not be easy to talk about and remember, so thank you. I hope you're doing well.


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## Don't Panic (Apr 2, 2017)

Sorry to hear of your health issue @Satya. You said no PIV or orgasms, is mild to moderate arousal off the table for you as well? I'm thinking of the tantric concept perhaps....I don't have experience with it and honestly never really understood the point, but from my limited reading it is supposed to facilitate bonding without orgasm. If you're looking to keep that connection strong, maybe there would be a way to make that work for both of you, with the end results for Odo being more advantageous. 

So stay naked, if you can handle it. Use this challenging time to break out of vanilla a bit. As affaircare said, vamp it up, experiment. Let him touch you. Buy some toys for him (fleshlight comes to mind) and go at it as you normally would without PIV, knowing that it will be a literal exercise in frustration (ugh). I hope you are able to resume normal activities soon. As I consider what I've suggested, I feel how difficult it would be for me to hold back and not break doctors orders! My thoughts are with you for a speedy recovery  

Love Andy1000's idea too! You're going to need some comic relief after delaying gratification for months!


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

@Don't Panic, thank you. That's a great suggestion about the tantric exercises, so I will look into it. That's just what I need.... The bonding feeling sans the sex. The no orgasm rule was because I can't have muscle contractions. 

You've also reminded me that I bought a book a long time ago on sensual massage, but we just haven't used it... I guess because we didn't need it. I think combined with the tantric knowledge that would make for quite an intimate evening.

These are all good ideas, I'm writing them down so I can do some research after I'm off of work today.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

No orgasms? First I'd get a second opinion. 

But seriously, sorry to hear that. 



Satya said:


> He usually can't keep his hands off me in bed and now he has to.


Why not? While not a complete substitute for sex I find cuddling/fondling really important when actual sex is not possible. 

I was surprised by this but we've found that some foreplay followed by her providing enthusiastic eye candy while I take care of myself provides the emotional connection of sex.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> No orgasms? First I'd get a second opinion.
> 
> But seriously, sorry to hear that.
> 
> ...


You're right of course @CharlieParker. I wasn't being literal. We do hold each other and cuddle. My cats seem to sense my condition and have been radiating me with purrs. The dogs know something is different. I've taken on board the eye candy idea. Honestly I am a person that sleeps naked unless it's really cold, but I do have some naughty things tucked away somewhere...


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

It sounds like you have a great attitude and you and your spouse are willing to try things.

One of the things that helped make my wife feel loved when were were not having sex was communicating to her in her love languages. I sense that your daily quality time is that.

You might both want to set aside one day a week to do 5 Love Language experiments. Quality Time, Touch (not sex), Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Presents. Explore giving and receiving in each love language different things/ways.

Another thing I did that my wife loved was I picked up a book on foot reflexology and learned how to do a really good foot massage. 

Finally one of the homework exercises we did was visualizing the future. You might want to sit down with your spouse and talk about how when you are better you want to treat each other, what each of you wants to do to the other. The brain is the biggest sex organ.

Good luck.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Satya said:


> ... @Affaircare, thank you for your honesty. You're absolutely right, I'm thinking a bit one-dimentionally about our intimacy and I need to be a bit more creative. In all honesty, we have both always been pretty "vanilla" and never felt this deprived us... In fact, we've always been well satisfied with the way things were. It's just now that there are restrictions we'll have to be more exploratory. I think it's really wonderful that you and your hubby were able to connect in such touching ways. I appreciate it must not be easy to talk about and remember, so thank you. I hope you're doing well.


Dear Hubby and I were also relatively "vanilla" and we talked openly about the fact that we liked it that way! It felt like good, honest, sacred sex to us so we didn't go too far off that beaten path. BUT even being "vanilla" we did expand our definition of sex a bit and agreed we would try X or Y and see if we enjoyed it. (Our restriction was no striking or that sort of thing--not our cup of tea.) On the other hand, I can't tell you how often it felt mildly embarrassing to try something just because it was a little outside our little vanilla world...and then how thrilling it was to discover it was fun! As an example, we found that erotic photography was great for both of us. He LOVED photographing me in everything from complete nudes to more "naughty pin up girl" poses...and I enjoyed being his model. Vice versa, I found painting nudes of him to be like stroking his skin and I LOVED it...and he giggled at being my model. 

So I guess that's my suggestion. If you think of it, and it's just been "Well we never tried that before" consider trying it. Now I can say that some things we tried, we didn't like or at least it was nice but not sexy. So that's cool--the fun was the discovery together and keeping it physical, tactile, and sensual.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Satya said:


> I'm open to other thoughts or ideas, maybe from others who've been in a similar situation. Maybe there are ways to bond that I'm not considering.


If you have to be careful with your health, then odds are you also have to be careful with the diet in your house. I personally would devote time as a couple to explore a diet that will be good for your wellbeing AND that you can both enjoy. Then as a couple, explore trying new foods and recipes together. This can be very satisfying, especially by finding ways to share this experience. 

Regarding how to keep your husband sexually satisfied in a way that can be bonding without PIV. Perhaps you could role play a little and pretend as if you are a dominant mistress. Have him rub your back to please you while teasing him that he can't have it. Then try and determine a new playful/creative or even challenging for him to release that will be fun for you both. An example might be a very slow HJ using lots of sticky honey. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

badsanta said:


> Then as a couple, explore trying new foods and recipes together. This can be very satisfying, especially by finding ways to share this experience *with others*.


Great idea, I added the bolded for clarity. Hint.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I don't know if you can give him a back rub with a happy ending...hj
or if not just massage his feet to keep the closeness. Or ply him with alcohol so he falls asleep quickly and can't think about sex.>

When I had my vj issues, we use to spoon a lot with him rubbing up on me and getting off that way....fun times.


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## angelinegormley (Sep 22, 2017)

In this situation it is imperative that he should be the one understanding of your situation. Given that, your eagerness to keep him satisfied is really admirable!  one thing that can be really intimate would be giving him passionate touches or kisses in unguarded moments. The kind that makes him feel like he is 'the man'. I think most husbands would agree. Even without the intercourse itself, your body language will make him feel that way. Apart from that, spending quality time in places where we can talk helps too. I especially love going to places where there are beautiful nature sights because those experiences help us to reflect on our marriage and life. 0

_____________________________
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
0Visit our blog at *lifewithgormleys.com* for day to day insights on marriage, family and God :smile2:


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Thanks for the continuing great ideas.
@Young at Heart, his top LL is physical touch (ouch) followed by quality time as close second. I am his opposite (top = quality time, second = physical touch) so we are pretty in tune with each other's needs. That is precisely why I reached out for thoughts and ideas as I knew it'd be tough on both of us. Thank you!
@badsanta, we are pretty restrictive in our diets but it never hurts to revisit what we are eating. Yes, I do have to watch my diet with these meds (plus I've noticed that I have to eat smaller portions, a full stomach makes the nausea side effect worse). I've offered to cook more with him this weekend and he's going to do some grocery shopping on the way home for fresh veg. It's almost crock pot season so I've made a plan to find new healthy recipes... I tend to do the same 'ol favorites each year. Time to discover some new things.

Role play would be interesting. He's quite the dominant one so I'm not sure how he'd take reversing the roles. I'm headstrong but I definitely don't dominate the bedroom. But maybe it would be interesting to reverse the roles and give him the lions share of the attention for a change. Normally I receive it and he prefers things that way, but now he'd have no choice but to accept it since he can't lavish it on me.
@brooklynAnn, that is precisely my plan tonight. Great minds. 

I'm feeling kind of "meh", but I'm wrapping up work, cleaning up the kitchen, running the dogs, then will look into all the suggestions everyone has made so far.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

anal sex? bondage?


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Talker67 said:


> anal sex? bondage?


Neither works for us.
Exit only and I like to be free.

But thanks for the suggestion.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

hope this does not last too long.

and take good care of your health and each other.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Satya said:


> It's almost crock pot season so I've made a plan to find new healthy recipes... I tend to do the same 'ol favorites each year.



Badsanta's vegetable soup:

(all ingredients chopped with no particular measurements)
fresh corn
sweet onion
okra
carrots
potatoes
butter beans
kidney beans
tomatoes
celery

Put all that in the crock pot along with low sodium V8 until you reach your desired soupyness.

Buy a rotisserie chicken (or take what is leftover from one) and cut/shred it into small pieces. Add that to your soup. 

Then season with whatever seasonings you desire. I tend to add a teaspoon of Asian Chili Garlic Sauce, some ground Pepper, thyme, oregano, and perhaps some freshly squeezed lime juice if I have got one.

Then when you serve you can also add some rice or noodles if you want to make it last longer. Generally speaking about a gallon of this at my house will only last about twelve hours or so before it is gone. The kids will eat 2-3 bowls each. Awesome with a grilled cheese if you can have that in your diet. 

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Satya said:


> his top LL is physical touch (ouch) followed by quality time as close second. I am his opposite (top = quality time, second = physical touch)


That’s us too. I made a joke, but seriously cooking (and when possible shopping) together is how we get our quality time and is a pretty close secnd to sex for bonding experiences. We “need” that. 

Side note, it’s always been that way, on our first real date we grilled swordfish kebabs. Recently the pics have taken it further.


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## KaraBoo0723 (Oct 1, 2016)

Sorry to hear of your medically restricted bedroom life -- I absolutely agree that plain old BJs and HJs can very old very quickly especially when you are forbidden from orgasms. I wonder if spicing up the boring old BJ may help Odo? Tongue vibrator, vibrating [email protected] rings, numerous male toys and accessories, ice cubes, flavored intimate gels that promote blood circulation and/or tingling (never tried it but have heard that orajel/anbesol can be interesting), different positions for you/him during -- you flat on your back with head hanging off edge of bed, he stands next to the bed -- I can personally attest that my H found that unlike any other BJ he's ever had and really enjoyed it . There are also different methods during that focus on different erogenous areas -- base of the shaft where scrotum starts can provide an intense sensation when probed with the tongue, same for the underside of the penis where the glans and shaft meet. You can also experiment with facials -- semen is a terrific moisturizer lol! I know I've got a couple of great books on spicing up BJs and HJs, I'll take a look this weekend and get back to you with titles . 

You may not see it now but this situation will deepen and strengthen your bonds -- you will providing sexual pleasure to him without traditional reciprocation. That will really affect how you look at him and I imagine that the experience of seeing you so willing and enthusiastic during this time will absolutely change and magnify how he sees and cherishes you ❤


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Wow. So sorry to hear of your situation. I assume you'll be back to unrestricted activity after the few months exclusion period?

If so, you shouldn't agonize too much over this. This is really not much more than what most couples go through in the weeks leading up to and the first couple months after giving birth. 

Your attitude is marvelous. To be perfectly honest, were my wife in this position, I would want quite literally nothing during this period, doing whatever I could to facilitate her recovery in such a way she need not think of me at all. So really, anything you do, is above the call of duty here. And "frequent, enthusiastic BJs" is itself way beyond just plain vanilla. That's high quality French Vanilla with chocolate chip cookie dough right there. 

Bottom line, "a few months" will be over before you know it. You're awesome for wanting to minimize the potentially negative impact that may result, but the potential downside is probably less than you fear. You've been a good wife for a long time; you've earned a little down time.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

@KaraBoo0723, thanks for your weigh-in! I am fully behind your thoughts. For the most part we've never felt the need (desire?) to use toys, although I've used them in my past. However, with things as they are, I am admittedly tempted to try something on Odo. I'm just not sure if I should "surprise" him with something or ask him. We don't really have any hangup or shyness so part of me thinks I should just be forward and ask. I'll keep your thoughts in mind! 
@Rocky Mountain Yeti, yes the no sex/orgasm is supposed to be temporary. The doctor quoted several months without, although this could change to be less if they see something working well on my monitoring tests. I'm actually sitting in the waiting room now for one such. My body has been pretty damn stubborn with the drugs and they had to double dose me after the first tests were not showing what they wanted to see.

Last night, Odo got home on the late side and spent some time doing a bit of diy he won't be able to manage this weekend. Once it was bedtime, we got ready, I hid under the covers in some lingerie he bought me when we were dating whilst he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom. He came in, flopped next to me, and asked "what should we do?" and I tackled him. I gave him a huge dose of attention and kept things really slow and deliberate, which he was clearly enjoying to the nth degree. Several times he had to beg me to stop... And eventually pushed me off, flipped me over, and put his P between my boobs. He's never done that, only hinted at wanting to try it before. He went to town and I helped by keeping my boobs tightly around him. Needless to say I got pretty turned on watching (and hearing) him finish. He wanted to give me a clit orgasm with his fingers after and I tried to fight it, then told him to just go VERY SLOWLY. I had a half of an O because I was already so worked up. I'm sure the doctor wouldn't be proud of me, but it wasn't full on... Those are earth-shattering. This was much more gentle and I didn't have too many deep spasms.

This may sound odd, and I've never shared this here, but it's very normal for me to cry after an O. The O breaks down my barriers and emotions flood through my head and I can't hold them down well. The largest is an overwhelming feeling of love for Odo, which is the main component of that "bonding" I keep talking about. He knows this about me. I held him and had a good cry. It had probably been about 2 weeks since we'd last been intimate like that (not counting the BJs). It was very overdue, necessary, and wonderful for us. When I let him go, he joked that I'll be good for a while now that I'm freshly doped up on oxytocin.

Not that I've had a slew of past partners, but none of them understood the crying thing, despite me explaining that it's a good thing, not bad. Odo gets it. 

OK, that's enough TMI for a Saturday morning.


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## Don't Panic (Apr 2, 2017)

KaraBoo0723 said:


> You may not see it now but this situation will deepen and strengthen your bonds -- you will providing sexual pleasure to him without traditional reciprocation. That will really affect how you look at him and I imagine that the experience of seeing you so willing and enthusiastic during this time will absolutely change and magnify how he sees and cherishes you ❤


:iagree:
The two of you will grow stronger and might even have some fun with your restrictions! Never thought I'd go here, but isn't it good ole Vinnydee who willingly goes months without orgasm? And he is one happy guy  
Resounding successful modifications last night, yay!


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Satya said:


> OK, that's enough TMI for a Saturday morning.


Oh my, did it get really warm in here? I’ll just go with thanks for sharing. But I think you guys will get through this.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> Oh my, did it get really warm in here? I’ll just go with thanks for sharing. But I think you guys will get through this.


Oh yes, we will. I had no doubt, just inexperience with this particular hurdle and I could feel that it was leading us to an eventual place of stagnancy. 

I just wanted some input, ideas, thoughts. They gave me perspective and objectivity that I knew I was lacking from my position. 

That was why Sherlock Holmes valued Dr. Watson so much.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

He sleeps on the couch, so as not to disturb you -- even though this disturbs you even more?

Honestly, it sounds to me like you are spending a lot more time, energy, and effort worrying about him than he is about you.

My husband also has medical issues that make sex impossible at times. I don't then do things to "help" him that make him feel worse or guilty about how hard done by I am that he is ill.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

wild jade said:


> He sleeps on the couch, so as not to disturb you -- even though this disturbs you even more?
> 
> Honestly, it sounds to me like you are spending a lot more time, energy, and effort worrying about him than he is about you.
> 
> My husband also has medical issues that make sex impossible at times. I don't then do things to "help" him that make him feel worse or guilty about how hard done by I am that he is ill.


 @wild jade, maybe my post gave the impression or lended to the interpretation that my H doesn't care as much about me as I him, but I can assure you that's not the case. Rarely a day goes by when he isn't doing something with me or my interests in mind, and I reciprocate the efforts as best as I can. 

He sleeps a lot lighter than I do, requiring only 4 hours most nights, and aside from the sleepy effects of my current meds, I also have characteristic tiredness as a result of chronic Lyme. That means I usually need about 7 hours of sleep to function the next day without a power nap. I'm a go go go person and always have been, but I'm like a giant battery. When I'm on empty I can't function without sleep. He knows this. 

His moving to another room is an act of thoughtfulness and he did not realize that his absence affected me until I explained it to him.

I hope that helps to clarify. Thanks for your input.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

Satya, the crying after an "O" would have me thinking negative thoughts, but I heard of it happening before. Thanks for sharing that detail because now it might be more common than I have imagined. Being a guy, I would have thought I needed to fix something. Now I can go with it and not feel worried.

I never had it happen to me and probably won't in the future but it is good to know.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Handy said:


> Satya, the crying after an "O" would have me thinking negative thoughts, but I heard of it happening before. Thanks for sharing that detail because now it might be more common than I have imagined. Being a guy, I would have thought I needed to fix something. Now I can go with it and not feel worried.
> 
> I never had it happen to me and probably won't in the future but it is good to know.


 @Handy, I can easily understand why for a man it would be pretty weird and scary seeing his woman bawling after giving her a strong O, but I can only reassure you that for me personally, its not a bad thing. Its like being stuck in a moment where everything else stands still and all I think about is how much I care for him and how much I want us to always be able to have moments like that. It's profound, I really don't have the sufficient skill to word precisely what I feel in that moment.


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## er15 (Aug 7, 2015)

gentle PIV from behind as body and spirit melts into one. no need for orgasm, just to feel how two become one


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

er15 said:


> gentle PIV from behind as body and spirit melts into one. no need for orgasm, just to feel how two become one


 @er15, my doctor says no PIV, no matter how slow. No nothing in my vajayjay. No tampons, no P, nada.

But your idea will definitely have more influence once the ban has been lifted!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

The best thing you can both do for each other during this downtime is to be kind to each other. While not forgetting to touch each other over clothes and sans clothes and look into each others eyes at times while doing that as well.

Even though you are not into anal sex, it is worth mentioning that if you were you would still need to avoid that as well. Since the clitoris is huge and can also be indirectly stimulated via anal sex, plus there are some women who also orgasm via anal sex as well.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Just an update,

Nurse called me early last week with my latest results and for once they looked good. I test again early next week to make sure the trend continues. 

I could actually feel better at the start of last week. I'm really not sure how to phrase it (and I couldn't put it into appropriate words for Odo either), but although I could go about usual chores, work, and other things, I just had this persistent feeling like something was very wrong and I was slowly dying. If course, I have no clue what dying feels like, and I was clearly alive and functioning, but I have no other words to describe the feeling. 

That feeling went away last week for the first time, so that indicated the 2nd dose must be working. 

This past weekend we attended a function for one of my organizations. It was planned well in advance, doggies went to daycare, and we both had to take some PTO for it. I'd booked us a nearby hotel and the joke is that "Lady Satya" can't go to hotels without getting randy and wanting to engage in "nasty hotel sex." Alas, not this time... Although I did bring the lingerie. 

We were dressed to the nines for two days while I schmoozed with members and he schmoozed with all the fundraising ladies. My org is mostly older folk and they are wonderful to talk with. They particularly like Odo as he is generous and always says silly and complementary things about me to them ("I am her arm candy this evening," "I have to look my best for her," "she tied my bow tie because I'm a klutz and can't.") 

Then we'd come together and just sit and talk about things we'd been too busy lately to talk about. I was feeling a lot better but still nauseous, and the catered food is usually very heavy and rich for me, so I couldn't eat much of it. 

The no drinking was a bit disappointing for me... Not impossible since I was only an occasional drinker anyway but it was like a ritual for me to have just one g&t during a social gathering. Soda water with lime and splash of cranberry. I needed to be well hydrated anyway.

Long story short, the first night I was on my knees and the second night he was between my boobs again. There was a LOT of tension radiating from us both (I get very randy while pleasuring him), but there was an awful lot of tenderness also. Things like holding, caressing all over (Odo is a very handsy man by nature), and cuddling. Lots of joking and laughing, which is what we do naturally but for a change we did not have other things in life interfering mentally with that kind of quality time. We most definitely solidified our bond with each other.

I now return you to your PG rated Sunday...


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Satya said:


> I now return you to your PG rated Sunday...


Thanks, now I don’t need to read my other forum’s (non PG) Sunday feature 

But seriously, glad the second dose is working. And you’ve got this.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

satya said:


> @er15, my doctor says no piv, no matter how slow. No nothing in my vajayjay. No tampons, no p, nada.
> 
> But your idea will definitely have more influence once the ban has been lifted!


*Lift the ban! Lift the ban!*


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

So, I know this topic isn't as interesting as some more dramatic and enticing topics here, but in the event that this is helpful for even one person... I'll keep checking in periodically until the "ban has been lifted", as Arb says.

I've been doing a lot better health-wise, had been left a bit in "limbo" after my last test result came back looking good, so I reached out to my nurse (a very kind soul) and asked her pretty bluntly if sex was still off the table for us for the next few months, as was originally instructed. She responded in the affirmative but said that I could resume light drinking again as the medication is not hammering my liver as it was initially. Not that I drink much anyway (I turned into a very occasional drinker after meeting tea-totaler Odo), but it's something.

We then had a follow-up with the doctor and she said that I should have a further follow-up test in another month and after that, they'll know if we can resume. So, that would a bit shy of the 3 month mark that we were originally told. We're not crawling the walls and in fact we're doing pretty well. The combination of both our busy working lives, planning for the approaching holidays, and a thorough and ongoing house clear-out has kept us pretty occupied.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Sorry to hear what you are going through medically. Glad to hear it seems they have found an effective treatment. Glad to hear that you and Odo have managed to maintain your bond even while you are out of "action" for a few months.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Wow lucky husband!

Fantastic wife!

May I ask what the medical problem is? Sorry if I missed it or if you perfer not to disclose.


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## Don't Panic (Apr 2, 2017)

Satya said:


> So, I know this *topic isn't as interesting as some more dramatic and enticing topics here, but in the event that this is helpful for even one person*... I'll keep checking in periodically until the "ban has been lifted", as Arb says.
> 
> I've been doing a lot better health-wise, had been left a bit in "limbo" after my last test result came back looking good, so I reached out to my nurse (a very kind soul) and asked her pretty bluntly if sex was still off the table for us for the next few months, as was originally instructed. She responded in the affirmative but said that I could resume light drinking again as the medication is not hammering my liver as it was initially. Not that I drink much anyway (I turned into a very occasional drinker after meeting tea-totaler Odo), but it's something.
> 
> We then had a follow-up with the doctor and she said that I should have a further follow-up test in another month and after that, they'll know if we can resume. So, that would a bit shy of the 3 month mark that we were originally told. We're not crawling the walls and in fact we're doing pretty well. The combination of both our busy working lives, planning for the approaching holidays, and a thorough and ongoing house clear-out has kept us pretty occupied.


On the contrary, your situation is what committed loyal partners endure, the crux of a marriage. It's a pleasure to suggest advice to people who are clearly focused on the long game, with a partner who feels likewise. Glad to learn things are improving with your health, and that your relationship has grown stronger with the challenge. Hang in there!


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Satya said:


> We're not crawling the walls and in fact we're doing pretty well.


Glad you're doing well, health and relationship wise.

We're in probably in our longest dry spell ever (weeks, not months or years but still). Part health issues, part travel, part life and plus a few rain checks not cashed in along the way. We're doing OK and have managed to stay connected. It's far less bothersome than when we were having sex regularly but the relationship was somewhat frayed.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

chillymorn69 said:


> Wow lucky husband!
> 
> Fantastic wife!
> 
> May I ask what the medical problem is? Sorry if I missed it or if you perfer not to disclose.


 @chillymorn69, that's sweet, thank you. I'd rather not disclose the exact nature of the issue. I know that doesn't really help to bring context. Let's just say it had a low probability of occurring in the first place and I just happened to be one of the lucky few!


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> Glad you're doing well, health and relationship wise.
> 
> We're in probably in our longest dry spell ever (weeks, not months or years but still). Part health issues, part travel, part life and plus a few rain checks not cashed in along the way. We're doing OK and have managed to stay connected. It's far less bothersome than when we were having sex regularly but the relationship was somewhat frayed.


I hear you. We were guilty of it too at times, even before all of this health stuff. Maybe we'd go for a max of 1.5 weeks without because of work and both being so busy (and me usually being on the road didn't help much either).

Speaking of rain checks... I think I still have a voucher for birthday sex that Odo gave to me in a card a few years ago... LOL.

I also bought these as a stocking stuffer for him last Christmas:


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