# Looking for guidance and support



## Dazedandconfusedtx (Mar 15, 2019)

Don’t know where to start really. The tale of my marriage is long and twisted. Been married roughly 12 years and have 4 children. My wife has Borderline personality disorder and has an emotional affair in 2010 we worked through that and and wonderful 9 years in which our youngest 2 kids where born. Despite multiple trips to mental hospitals for her.

Now just last month she was pulled over for speeding and was caught with thc oil,marijuana, paraphernalia and someone else’s anti anxiety medicine. She was charge with the possession of control substance for the thc oil which is a felony in our state.

I bailed her out despite being angry. She came home she went to work and at 10 am did come home till 4 am the next this patern continued for a few till I told her it needed to stop. The next day she she told me she could not be around the kids or me
Any more and left but not befor revealing she had drained the bank account nearly 7 grand gone in a two week period.

She left so I changed the locks and updated the lease to remove her from it I have canceled the credit card we still had active so she can’t cause any more financial problems. Took my name off her bond.

But have discover she is telling everyone that’ll listen that I have beat her, and that I over drafted the account and threw her clothes away. None of which is true. 

Closet to any of that being true is she left with out taking her clothes.I texted her and said I’ve packed your clothes and sat them on the porch if you don’t pick em up in 2 days I’ll assume their abandoned and donate them to goodwill.

I have a consultation with attorney set for for tomorrow but have no idea what to ask or how to handle this situation


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

One thing you should find out is how to legally ensure that your finances are separate. As long as you are married, her debts are your debts. She could be out getting credit cards and loans and you'd be on the hook to pay them back as it's all shared debt. Just because you canceled that one card doesn't mean she can't get new ones. 

One way to accomplish separating finances is to formally separate. Current debts are shared, but the separation agreement can spell out what sort of financial support each of you will provide and who owns what debt. Then if she incurs CC debt after that, it would be just on her.

Of course, another way to protect your finances is to divorce. Is that an option you are going to look into?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Make sure you document everything. You'll need it for child custody


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

You need to document the crap out of every minute detail. I hope you kept that text you sent her about her clothes. Dont delete ANYTHING. Get to an attorney, find out what you should be doing to protect your money and yourself. You may want to go to the police as a precaution against her false accusations of abuse, making her history of mental illness known to them. You may want to consider a keeping a voice activated recorder with you for any conversations with her, and you probably shouldnt answer any phone calls from her either, unless you have a way to record them. This sounds scary, please do be careful.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Dazedandconfusedtx said:


> Don’t know where to start really. The tale of my marriage is long and twisted. Been married roughly 12 years and have 4 children. My wife has Borderline personality disorder and has an emotional affair in 2010 we worked through that and and wonderful 9 years in which our youngest 2 kids where born. Despite multiple trips to mental hospitals for her.
> 
> Now just last month she was pulled over for speeding and was caught with thc oil,marijuana, paraphernalia and someone else’s anti anxiety medicine. She was charge with the possession of control substance for the thc oil which is a felony in our state.
> 
> ...


Report the theft of the money and have a restraining order filed against her.

And file for divorce.


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