# Sticky  Reply Thesis (Read this to understand replies to your posts)



## draconis

Reply Thesis (Read this to understand replies to your posts)

I) Today ~ Everyone is so use to getting what they want whenever they want it. Doing stuff on demand works for much of the real world but it isn’t as easy on forums. Like you everyone else has a life, work, kids, school a job a relationship etc. Most posters average once a week posting or checking posts. Some posters are supercharged and hit a forum once a day. But they do it when *they* have the time to do it. Remember these people are doing you a favor by giving you advice and incite. They take time out of their day to do this. A few like me do it as a hobby, some because once they needed help and now they are giving back. What ever the reason they are willing to help doesn’t matter the fact is they will but it will often take time to work through the problems and get many different people to respond.

II) Opinions ~ All I ever have to offer is my *opinion*. When you say this is my problem, I can read your post try to understand it and reply the best I can. In the end it is advice that *you must decide* what it is worth to you. Some advice might not work, maybe you have tried some things already and forgot to post it. Don’t worry the best thing is on a forum you can slowly walk through the problem until you come to a solution.

There are going to be times you don’t like what other people have to say. Remember it is just their opinion or belief. 

Please don’t be rude, this starts flame wars. “You didn’t read this” Yes I did, but I may have gotten something different from it them what you *wanted* to communicate. Then again I may just see things and give an opinion you don’t want to hear too. “_I was 15 years faithful, and one slip, she should forgive me._” I am not a cheerleader. If you want my opinion to this I would say no every time. You need to earn the love, trust and respect back, *IF{/b] they want to take you back.

III) Explain ~ Post what you have to. The less the better (don’t ramble on). There are bond to be many replies asking further questions but no one wants to read a book. I was on a forum the guy used 50,000 words (no kidding he had to break it into several posts because it was so long) to explain what was happening. I paragraphed it to seventeen lines. After I paragraphed and responded several others did too. Most people didn’t want to bother to read that great big thing, and who would.

IV) Neat ~ I know it is great to be able to ramble but try to collect your thoughts if you can. It makes it easy to understand. Forums like this I try to piece cross post information together to understand each person. Most people do not have the time.

Avoid leet, condensed words abbreviation, slang etc. Although you might be able to understand it many people can’t. Someone with dyslexia it can be challenging. Sometimes it just slows the reader down or frustrates them. 

It is okay to not be perfect. But try to have it the best you can. You will get more responses.

V) Conclusion ~ No one can tell you what you have to get out of anything. In the end use the information you want to. Feel free to let people know how you did and what you did. Stick around and help others if you can. Many people feel comfort that others share their problems.

draconis*


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## evenow

A nice thesis on posting etiquette. I hope you haven't been having too much trouble on the boards?

It reminds me of why I initially came to the boards. I came with some very dirty laundry but on the way to posting it I found a lot of therapy in offering advice to others. One day I'll get around to my own issues but until then I'd like to continue to contribute to the success of others overcoming their own.


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## draconis

evenow said:


> A nice thesis on posting etiquette. I hope you haven't been having too much trouble on the boards?
> 
> It reminds me of why I initially came to the boards. I came with some very dirty laundry but on the way to posting it I found a lot of therapy in offering advice to others. One day I'll get around to my own issues but until then I'd like to continue to contribute to the success of others overcoming their own.


Here and there I have had issues or people I just stopped posting to because it seemed more like they were screaming at me to justify them, than asking my opinion. Most people by and large are great to talk to even if they don't agree with me. On another board we talk about politics (you can imagine how that goes) but for all I might disagree with some of them they respect me, and my opinion even if they don't agree with it.

It really was something I had wanted to say for a while but was working on so many other things first, I just got around to it.

I am glad you found therapy in giving advice. For me I feel it helps me to continue to be the best I can in my relationship. I am always reminded of how the mundane kills the relationship so I continue to think outside the box because of the constsnt reminders.

I hope one day you do post your own issues. We all have problems and no one is perfect. We can try, we can come close, but no one is perfect.

draconis


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## Andrea

Well said, draconis!


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## Chris H.

Thanks Draconis! Some good guidelines for posting etiquette.

I will sticky it in the guidelines section.


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## kajira

thank you for the input!


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## Sensitive

Thank you.


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## makingmymarriagework

Thank you for posting this. We obviously come here seeking advice and feedback, and it's helpful to have posting guidelines to keep a steady flow.


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## Sensitive

I don't know where or how to say this, but I think many people are not always considerate when they write replies. They are not my threads, so I usually ignore most of it. I hate seeing people get hurt, so please be nice. If the tone of the original post is serious or sad, don't joke around. 

(Oh, I am also posting to bump this thread.)


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