# my problem is moody!



## Antonius (Aug 21, 2010)

my problem...

my problem is that, when my Fiance and I go out.... I don't like her talking to other guys... My Fiance is very talkative and communicates alot...she likes company around her... in every possible way...

Now I told myself that I really gotta let her free in the 'things' she wants and give her space... and let her communicate with everyone when we go out... (but there is a line ofcource.... no flirting, kissing, etc, etc)

and I let her free.... But why does it always happen that I get 'jealousy' feelings when she talks to other guys? ...my reaction is then that I get quiet and let her show that I don't like it...I get in a mood ....although I fight the 'jealousy' feeling... I hate the feeling...

my problem is....I DON'T want to get jealous or in a mood or upset when she talks to other guys.... I want to let her free, and communicate with people! ...if I don't do that she will get mad with the result of loosing her if the madness continues... 

I gotta trust her! have anyone of you (guys) the same feeling sometimes? and what do you do about it? 

Antonius~


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Can’t see why you’d be jealous if your wife is talking to other guys about politics, charities, religion or anything else like that.

But if the other guys have the ability to make your wife laugh for example whereas you don’t I can understand some of your jealously there. Perhaps start lightening up, read and understand about humour and learn some jokes.

If you see the other guys coming on to your wife and she’s not giving the leave off signals, then that more than likely means she’s giving them some come on signals, perhaps flirting in ways you’re not aware of. I can see why you would feel jealous if that’s the case.

Flirting type body language is sometimes very readily understood, the brush back of hair to reveal an ear and a neck for example. Others are far more subtle, who the knee and or feet are pointed towards for example. It is best to know about these things, buy a book on body language.

There will be a reason why you feel jealous, that feeling is there for a reason. I’ve been told many times not to be jealous. But I’m a man and very territorial and I accept that’s who I am.

Bob


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

What has your woman told you about your jealousy?

Most of these times, the good man gets the notion that jealousy is a bad thing, and he must bottle it in or something is wrong.

In any other situation, this would be called dishonesty.

In my relationship, and this is not hard to understand, that my woman knows without a doubt I am very jealous, and if my wife were here reading this right now she would laugh out loud at the fact that for me to merely type "I am very jealous" would be such an understatement.

So although she is free to speak to other men, she knows I am very much going to notice who she is talking to and that I am never going to hesitate to challenge her on anything.

Even when she goes out with her female friends, be sure I will not back down to confront her on her experiences, on who said what, and such things.

So it is in our relationship, honesty with each other flows even in jealous feelings.

The part that is important, is just this.

My woman knows I am jealous, and loves my jealousy over her.

So know this, when I express my jealousy, it is from confidence and humor and not from fear and suspicion, as I trust her to tell me the truth and be honest, just as she expects from me that I would without fail tell her of all the female interest and flirtation that would occur if I was out on the town with the guys.

All these tings, are really in the proper context good for the relationship, for every good man knows it is proper that when his woman is attractive she a source of pride that such a woman loves and desires him.

So it is with a woman, that the man that loves and desires her is not some outcast shunned by society, but an attractive and confident man that many woman would be proud to get his attention.

In these things, it is better to be honest than to be dishonest.

Do not try to hide your feelings, as if to spare your woman. Instead you will make her think you are not that interested in her for some reason, whether something in her or you that is lacking in appeal or confidence.

So make sure your feelings of jealousy are known to your woman, and find out how this is making her feel, you may be surprised. 

I wish you well.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

BigBadWolf said:


> My woman knows I am jealous, and loves my jealousy over her.
> 
> So know this, when I express my jealousy, it is from confidence and humor and not from fear and suspicion, as I trust her to tell me the truth and be honest, just as she expects from me that I would without fail tell her of all the female interest and flirtation that would occur if I was out on the town with the guys.
> 
> ...


 More Great advice here. 

Jealousy is such a powerful emotion, men have killed over it, shrink over it, probably died over it - but it really is a healthy sign of our sheer attraction & desire for another. Some jealousy is healthy if you direct it in the right fashion, like BIg Bad Wolf is trying to relay. But too much, misguided & buried can destroy any & every relationship. 

How you express it to her IS the key.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

How do you feel about yourself?


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## Antonius (Aug 21, 2010)

I feel good about myself! I do many good things for her and do a good job taking care of her kids...

I think my problem is to loose her..I don't want that... 

this is my very first relationship and everything what comes towards me feels sometimes weird ....it feels new, and sometimes I don't know how to deal with it... sometimes she says "this is normal in relationships" ...and I believe and trust her! 

we talk about our issues including my jealousy feelings ...I feel good after we talk, and then I realize how dumb I was. then I say to myself "stop these thoughts" ...but they return after a while... maybe it's a men thing :scratchhead:

this is her second relationship...


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Would it make sense if I told you that if you operate out of the fear of losing her, she's already 1/2 way gone?


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