# I cheated and fessed up. He moved out this week.



## Meli (Oct 10, 2011)

I posted here about a month ago asking for advice about fessing up to my affair. I told my husband. This past month has been a roller coaster. Hubby and I met with the OM and my husband sent a very stern(non-violent) "Back off" message. I haven't spoken to OM since and I don't really think of him. This isn't about him...

A few days after I confessed to my husband I told him I was done with our marriage. He goes back and forth. He is mad at me(understandable!) but he is willing to reconcile. We have been together for almost 14 years(since I was 16) and I was over our marriage long ago. He cheated 5 years ago and while I was able to forgive him and move on, my love for him died. We get along really great and I consider him a friend but I just really want to move on. 

On Monday he moved out. It is a trial separation to see if this makes us see something that we didn't see while together. It has been less than a week but I feel at peace already. This feels right to me. Are these my true feelings? I don't feel as if I am in a fog. I feel very clear about my feelings. They are the same ones I have had for years. I just found the courage to finally admit them. I am simply not happy in my marriage. It affects every aspect of my life. Especially how I parent my children. 

I feel terrible for our kids. My husband works odd hours and since we can easily talk and be civil to one another we haven't yet had to explain anything to our girls. But we will soon.

I guess my question is...do I sound like I am in a "fog"? This separation feels so right to me. Will I suddenly change my mind even if I felt like this was what I wanted for years before my affair?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

> I guess my question is...do I sound like I am in a "fog"? This separation feels so right to me. Will I suddenly change my mind even if I felt like this was what I wanted for years before my affair?


It's hard to say. I understand the 'at peace' feeling. I felt the same when i left a mate. I never looked back. 

I think the important thing now is to work on yourself and be there for your kids.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Since you cheated, why did he leave? Shouldn't you be the one sleeping on couches and crppy apartments?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Meli (Oct 10, 2011)

> Since you cheated, why did he leave? Shouldn't you be the one sleeping on couches and crppy apartments?


He decided to leave. I did not force him out. He works odd hours and can't be here to get our kids back and forth to school and in bed at night. We both decided that it would be best for the kids for me to be here with them. He is free to come and see them and spend time with them whenever he wants. We are getting along very good right now and have mutually decided that this is what is best for our kids.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Other than being apart, is there any counseling going on?

Being apart makes it easy to ignore things, but it doesn't help solve anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Pwrpf01 (May 24, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> Since you cheated, why did he leave? Shouldn't you be the one sleeping on couches and crppy apartments?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


remember that he cheated 5 yrs ago and she didn't kick his a$$ out then. Sometimes situations work out differently than what is expected.


----------

