# Husband falls asleep while pleasuring me



## Wintermaiden (Feb 19, 2018)

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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I do feel sorry for you.

However, my observation is this. This is only a wild guess, and probably wrong. I expect you to correct me, so we can find other issues to explore.

You mentioned what he looks like, what shape he is in. But you did not speak about yourself. That juxtaposition was noticeable.

Which leads me to wonder if he is being passive aggressive and attempting to say something about your appeal to him without actually bothering to communicate. What I have found in reading these boards is people are extremely poor at communicating, many times.

My wife also taught me that people don't communicate well.


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## Wintermaiden (Feb 19, 2018)

Point well taken, William. I can safely say I'm an attractive woman and often am told that I look ten years younger.
I do have about 30 pounds to lose. We have both been on a weight loss regimen and he is pretty much at his goal.
I'm almost there. And I have looked much the same since we've been married. In fact, I was about ten pounds heavier when we got together. Thanks for your reply.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

If phase one is for you, and he is tired for phase one, why does it even get to phase two?


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

With that answer I suggest he is, in fact, being passive aggressive, and acting out against you.

The number of times a person does this after loosing weight is legion.

They achieved their goal, and they become filled with their own self aggrandizement and entitlement. Then they become dissatisfied with anyone less than at their goal.

It is pretty classic for someone who has lost weight in a targeted regiment.

This is just a guess. He is upset, angry, you have not reached goal yet, but he doesn't want to say it out loud. 

We have read about marriages blowing up after one partner reached goal after a weight loss regiment. Especially if they lost a lot of weight.


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

Are you sure that you can categorically dismiss any health issues? You are describing me, before I got treatment for sleep Apnea and low testosterone. Both are common with men in our 50s, and Apnea has been shown to have a link to lower testosterone. Apnea is common even in men who are otherwise fit.

My symptoms were like your husband. I would fall asleep at inopportune times, but given the right stimulation I could stay awake. I would doze at my desk in the afternoon and fall asleep early, but not all of the time. If I needed to do homework or was watching a TV show that I liked, I could stay awake - I'd just feel a little tired. 

I'd also question your statement that "It's not as if he's tired after working all day". People get tired after being awake all day, regardless of how much physical labor we do. In fact, probably more (in my experience) when we don't stay active and mentally challenged. What time are you trying to have sex? Are you waiting until after the evening news, or jumping into bed after dinner? Now that I'm in my 50s, I can stay up if I want to but to be honest if it gets much past 10 oclock I'm not going to be much good even for sex. I also tend to be drowsy after eating. I can watch TV and do other things and stay awake, but not really be up for sex.

There are a lot of men who have Apnea much worse than I do, who can not control when they fall asleep - sometimes while driving. Apnea is often much milder than that. If you've already eliminated it as a suspect, and checked his hormones (including testosterone and thyroid) then I think that you can say that he has no health issues. Otherwise, there are a lot of issues that aren't visible.

I'm not saying that he's not sabotaging sex with you, only that it if this is a big enough problem for you then it would help to see a doctor to be sure that there are no health issues before dismissing them entirely.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

I also think uhderlying health issues needs to be ruled out.

I don't think its you or your little bit of extra weight.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Perhaps he just thinks that you are not as much of a sex goddess to him nearly as much as he thinks that he's a satyr to you!

In any event you should have already voiced a pronounced concern to him about this flippant behavioral pattern of his. And he'd better be more than receptive to going about cleaning his act up! Even to the point of seeing a marriage or sex counselor and airing this problem to them!

His behavior is not natural as it's clearly not your fault! Best of luck to you, m'dear!*


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I discount health issues since she already said he shows no signs of being sleepy while she is pleasuring him.

His yawning and acting sleepy occurs only when he is ostensibly “actively” attending her needs.

I don’t recall any physical issues which might manifest themselves in such a definitively split fashion. I suppose there might be some rare form of sleep apnea I never heard of which precludes a man from manifesting any symptoms when his penis is being touched? But it’s triggered even more often when he smells vaginal secretions?


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## Edmund (Apr 1, 2017)

Have him check his blood glucose level (diabetes?).

Change up your "phased" routine. Try to satisfy each other simulataneously. Try a different time of day?


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## NYerInFLA (Feb 20, 2018)

Hi Wintermaiden,
Sorry for your problem - I too am facing something similar (I am the husband and wife frequently falls asleep during intimacy). We've talked.....we've tried everything from scheduling, erotic movies and "play time" to arguing about it, to not doing it for months. 

I'm not a doctor, psychologist or pretend to know anything about your husband or marriage. I'm just a guy....I have been married for 24 years and also in my early 50's. I think your answer is the same as mine - He's just not that into you anymore. It happens.

Tell him to change or you're leaving, or tell him nothing at all and find a boyfriend.
Sorry, that's a real world no BS answer.


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## Um Excuse Me (Feb 3, 2018)

NYerInFLA said:


> Tell him to change or you're leaving, or tell him nothing at all and find a boyfriend.
> Sorry, that's a real world no BS answer.


I don't think I would do that. My wife and I have a similar problem. Early fifties, married 31 years, and I'm the one usually falling asleep. However, its mainly because I'm tired, had dinner plus a few beers, and quite frankly, it feels really good to sit down in the evening and relax. Next thing I know it's early morning and my wife has gone to bed - alone and frustrated.

So with that said, I recommend you try jumping his bones first thing in the morning when you both awaken. > That works well for us although my wife prefers doing it in the evening. Nonethess, I really enjoy wrapping my arms around a really nice pair of warm t_ts. The morning thing really gets me going.....:smthumbup:

Best of luck to you....


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## Randy2 (Jul 19, 2016)

I'm assuming that your husband is giving you oral sex - or perhaps using his fingers. In any case, my wife is often quiet and I wonder what effect I'm having. It keeps me more attentive and awake if she moans, twitches, arches, compliments, instructs. Feedback , feedback.


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## phlea (Apr 18, 2018)

Happened to me countless times. WE have sex, he finishes, comes to my turn and it becomes an effort or a struggle. He gets nothing out of it so he tires. Now I'm all like never mind I'll just do it myself.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

phlea said:


> Happened to me countless times. WE have sex, he finishes, comes to my turn and it becomes an effort or a struggle. He gets nothing out of it so he tires. Now I'm all like never mind I'll just do it myself.


Woah! No no no no no, if he isn’t as concerned with your pleasure as he is his own, he should stick to his right hand!

Honey, sweetie, darling...do not have sex with this selfish pig again! I’d consider trading him in for another model that meets your needs with the same passion he expect you to meet his.

Trust me, this level of selfishness can go underground for a little while, but it will resurface. I bet he is passive aggressive too.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

phlea said:


> Happened to me countless times. WE have sex, he finishes, comes to my turn and it becomes an effort or a struggle. He gets nothing out of it so he tires. Now I'm all like never mind I'll just do it myself.


Well, there is your problem, right there. Oral/Fingering is foreplay. Sex comes after you make him work for it. Hell, I'd probably fall asleep too after I dump my load.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

There are a lot of meds, such as blood pressure and anti-anxiety medication that zonka-wonk you out.

The medications that make you drowsy is a long read. Read the info pamphlets that come with each prescription. You would be surprised how many side effects there are with the simple and popular scripts !


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Wintermaiden said:


> **



- I feel for you. Been there.


- My wifee has got me worked up, cuddles to my back, her hand on my member.....starts kissing and licking my neck and ears while using her hand......then falls asleep. You can imagine my response.....


- She knows how mad I got and its never happened again.


- BTW, I've never fallen asleep going down on MrsCuddleBug ever.


- Could of been your hubby just had a tough day and was extra tired. He should of had a nap beforehand or was totally honest with you about how tired he really was and never started what he couldn't finish.


- This is one of those you don't break golden rules.


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## phlea (Apr 18, 2018)

He is under the impression all that stuff need not be involved every time. Too much work . Besides, I should just be ready to go and not his fault I can't orgasm vaginally.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

phlea said:


> Happened to me countless times. WE have sex, he finishes, comes to my turn and it becomes an effort or a struggle. He gets nothing out of it so he tires. Now I'm all like never mind I'll just do it myself.


An aside here:< ^ >

After a man climaxes, there are certain chemicals released in his body that cause him to collapse.

Why?

So as to keep him motionless, his {peck-her} deep and down in place. Keeping the sperm down as far as his anatomy permits. Keeping it 'there', so as to give pregnancy the best possible chance of happening.

This natural physical response is to ensure that a women gets pregnant. 
Nature is more concerned about continuation of the species, cares less, if at all, about female satisfaction.

Men should 'strive/stroke' the woman to get off first, then themselves.

What makes sense, does not always make, Oh's. 

Knowledge is power.



The Host-


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

CuddleBug said:


> - I feel for you. Been there.
> 
> 
> -* My wifee has got me worked up, cuddles to my back, her hand on my member.....starts kissing and licking my neck and ears while using her hand......then falls asleep. You can imagine my response...*..
> ...




That seemed like a pretty good hint that you didn't act on quick enough. You snooze, you lose!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

phlea said:


> He is under the impression all that stuff need not be involved every time. Too much work . Besides, I should just be ready to go and not his fault I can't orgasm vaginally.


Darling you need to educate this man.

https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Anato...d=1524168830&sr=1-12&keywords=She+comes+first

https://www.amazon.com/Mating-Capti...d=1524168830&sr=1-11&keywords=She+comes+first

Buy the books. Insist he read them!

If your husband thinks it is too much work to arouse you and sexually please you, he is a selfish SOB!


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Well based on my limited experience, reading Mating in captivity puts me to sleep in about 5 minutes. 
I used to worry that my wife fell asleep while I was pleasing her, but Now I understand that sometimes her book is boring.
Personally it's easier to get her there first. Much easier for me to catch up, than to catch her up to me.
Really the advice is good. it's all about being a giving lover. It's not so bad pleasing people.

Edit, I picked up Mating in captivity again this morning, red 1.5 chapters in one go. I recommend chapter 4


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Wintermaiden I hate to admit this but I did the same thing with my girlfriend not just two weeks ago. I was bone tired from a long trip and had just gotten over to her house. She fed me a great dinner, we took a bath together, and by the time we made it to bed I was so zonked that only about a minute after I went down on her I felt her slap me on the back of the head. I had dozed off. Cunnilingus-interruptus. 

I didn't mean to. I love giving my girlfriend oral and look forward to it because she has a vagina made of sunshine. But she had me so fed and warm and relaxed that sleep hit me like a freight train.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Wintermaiden I hate to admit this but I did the same thing with my girlfriend not just two weeks ago. I was bone tired from a long trip and had just gotten over to her house. She fed me a great dinner, we took a bath together, and by the time we made it to bed I was so zonked that only about a minute after I went down on her I felt her slap me on the back of the head. I had dozed off. Cunnilingus-interruptus.
> 
> I didn't mean to. I love giving my girlfriend oral and look forward to it because she has a vagina made of sunshine. But she had me so fed and warm and relaxed that sleep hit me like a freight train.


*Bandito: I'm damned near ashamed of you! Men have been sentenced to "capital punishment" for less than what you did!

God, how'd I'd love to have the opportunity to try to fall asleep from a good long session of cunnilingus interruptus  on a beautiful woman!

And while I might well fall asleep, I really don't think that I would ~ because I'd be absolutely wired to the hilt!*


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Oh boy, I am totally guilty of this.... Passing out during sex. 

But my problem is my husband is too much of a giver! I'll plead with him no more, because if I orgasm one more time it's going to be lights out! 

So, in that sense, I know I have passed out while giving him head before (he can surpress his O - which is great for having hours of sex - but it makes it hard for him to finally release when it is time - I have to give him a killer BJ / HJ combo to get him off when he is in that mode). I try to make it up to him by waking him with a BJ in the morning.

I am glad he isn't ready to divorce me because I end up snoring now and then!

To the OP, sounds like the classic, you need to get yours, before he gets his.

You said you don't O from penetration. Have you ever tried playing with your clit while you two have intercourse? Might be a win win - orgasm for you, and he would then get to feel your lovely O (they do marvelous things to his member).

Oh... And I disagree that oral and fingering are just for foreplay. The crazy super intense O's my husband can give me with his mouth and hands only happen after I am good and warmed up from a intercourse created O's. That is what sends me to pass out city!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *Bandito: I'm damned near ashamed of you! Men have been sentenced to "capital punishment" for less than what you did!
> 
> God, how'd I'd love to have the opportunity to try to fall asleep from a good long session of cunnilingus interruptus  on a beautiful woman!
> 
> And while I might well fall asleep, I really don't think that I would ~ because I'd be absolutely wired to the hilt!*


That’s why we need to get you laid man.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I shouldnthave said:


> Oh... And I disagree that oral and fingering are just for foreplay. The crazy super intense O's my husband can give me with his mouth and hands only happen after I am good and warmed up from a intercourse created O's. That is what sends me to pass out city!


Unless a guy has a knob that is bent upwards 90 degrees at the tip, digital stimulation is the only way to really effectively hit a woman’s G-spot and trigger those massive orgasms. And every woman is built differently so it takes some trial and error to find the perfect pressure, rhythm, etc. 

Unless you’re some big ass porn star with a 13’ anaconda that’s thick as a loaf of French bread. But 90percent of men are not that lucky.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> That’s why we need to get you laid man.


*Love ya, Brother!*


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Unless a guy has a knob that is bent upwards 90 degrees at the tip, digital stimulation is the only way to really effectively hit a woman’s G-spot and trigger those massive orgasms. And every woman is built differently so it takes some trial and error to find the perfect pressure, rhythm, etc.
> 
> *Unless you’re some big ass porn star with a 13’ anaconda that’s thick as a loaf of French bread.* But 90 percent of men are not that lucky.


*Most women with a ounce of common sense would literally run away in terror from a pole that large, and strictly out of a sense of physical self-preservation!

Knowing full well that if they're just wanting to "lay witness" to something of that megalithic proportion, they can well wait until the freak show carnival hits the town shopping center again!*


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## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

bandit.45 said:


> Unless a guy has a knob that is bent upwards 90 degrees at the tip, digital stimulation is the only way to really effectively hit a woman’s G-spot and trigger those massive orgasms. And every woman is built differently so it takes some trial and error to find the perfect pressure, rhythm, etc.
> 
> Unless you’re some big ass porn star with a 13’ anaconda that’s thick as a loaf of French bread. But 90percent of men are not that lucky.


An erection usually is at a 90 degree angle, if not closer to 180. Helps to not have the belly. It is not impossible to hit that spot, but it may require one to be slightly larger, fit and with pelvic control to hear the words "right there baby, don't stop". Doggy with the right arch will get you there also.

As to falling asleep, face down in the vagina. Been there done that.


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

You're overweight and he's an a-hole. This is not a good combo. He's acting out his resentment towards you.


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