# Christian Woman Wants to take kids to church



## SweetAltina

So I'm wanting to start taking my kids to church. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I'll probably hold off on the 1 year old til he's 2, but I'd like to make sure I get my daughter started (3) soon.

Problem is my husband is not religious at all. Will it be seen as excluding him if the entire family leaves every Sunday for church? Is there a chance that he might someday want to come too? Has that ever happened to anyone else's spouse?

Thanks for your help.


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## larry.gray

That's the way I was raised. My dad was raised Protestant but was agnostic. My mom was an active Catholic so we went to mass every Sunday growing up. 

I don't think it really ever caused trouble with them, at least that we saw. Recently my dad has become very religious and has pushed for us to join him.


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## SweetAltina

larry.gray said:


> That's the way I was raised. My dad was raised Protestant but was agnostic. My mom was an active Catholic so we went to mass every Sunday growing up.
> 
> I don't think it really ever caused trouble with them, at least that we saw. Recently my dad has become very religious and has pushed for us to join him.


Thank you for your comments. I've been battling with this a lot lately as I'm worried if my husband slanders going to church.

I know he'll say something or call me names if I go, especially if he feels left out. I just wanted to hear someone tell me that me going to church and taking the kids is allowed and that it wouldn't be stepping on his toes.

Thank you again.


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## unbelievable

Nobody's excluding him. The doors to the church aren't locked during services. If he wants to come in, they'll let him in. I imagine you'd be happy to give him a ride. If you and the kids are at church and he's not, it's because he chose to do something else.


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## tulsy

I'm not a religious person at all, but I did take my children to the local community church. I think it's important that the children are exposed to everything and make their own decisions from there.

I studied religions of the world, past and present, and spoke to my children about what people believe in different cultural groups. I told them where I stand, that I did not believe, but that they need to educate themselves and decide for themselves what they believe. 

I told them that I don't care what they believe, I will love them regardless. I can't make the decision for them, and I let them know that I am not always right.


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## eyuop

Did you marry a non-Christian or come to faith later? Just curious.

Anyway, I would just take them to church.


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## Hope1964

SweetAltina said:


> I know he'll say something or call me names if I go, especially if he feels left out. I just wanted to hear someone tell me that me going to church and taking the kids is allowed and that it wouldn't be stepping on his toes.


What do you mean, 'allowed'?? And how can we tell you whether you'd be stepping on your husbands toes?

First of all, if you're scared that your husband is going to slander the church and get mad at you for going, there are far bigger issues in your marriage than just whether you should take the kids to church. He does NOT have that right.

Secondly, it isn't a matter of it being 'allowed'. It's something that is important to you to do for your kids,. Period. If your husband can't respect that, well, like I said, you've got bigger problems.

As long as you make it clear to him that you would love him to accompany you every week, then he should just keep his mouth shut about you going, whether he likes it or not.


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## Omgitsjoe

I've been taking my 2 young boys ( 5 years and 15 months old ) to church each and every Sunday since they were born.

Actually after they were discharged from the hospital the first place we went to prior to going home was to church to simply bring them to the front of the alter and say " Thank you " to God for his blessing !!

I think it's important that they learn at an early age the rituals and praising of God.


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## SweetAltina

eyuop said:


> Did you marry a non-Christian or come to faith later? Just curious.
> 
> Anyway, I would just take them to church.


I married a non-Christian. He doesn't have a problem with my religion but dislikes feeling pushed either way. I don't push, but I do want my kids to have some exposure to it so they have a choice. If I never take them they'll never know god and will not have the chance to choose that path.


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## Almostrecovered

I always took the point of view if I married a person of faith that I would allow her to take the kids to church as long as I could tell them my own opinion about why there's no God when they get older


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## SweetAltina

Hope1964 said:


> What do you mean, 'allowed'?? And how can we tell you whether you'd be stepping on your husbands toes?


I meant it in the general meaning. 

He can't stop me from going, but I was interested to know if others thought having a separate activity that is just the kids and you was excluding a partner to a painful degree. He won't like that I'm taking the kids to church as he'll sit alone at home. He may someday come, but I know what he'll say to the kids when we go. "Gonna go thump some bibles eh? Lame." He'll not call names or anything, he'll just make it clear to the kids (and me by extension) that he thinks it's dumb.

I've already called the pastor in a hopes of getting some information on how I'll handle bringing the kids (they go into bible school while I'm at the service). It might be good overall for them to meet some other Christian children in a hopes of forming some strong friendships. My daughter is only 3 so is not in preschool yet and so has very few children to play with. I take her to activities to try and get her friends on the weekends as I work full time, but I always enjoyed bible school and thought it might be a good time to branch.


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## FormerSelf

My mom used to drag me to church while my dad slept off his hangovers, so yeah, nothing wrong with that. That paradigm that I learned really has resided within me, even when I tried to rebel against it in my teen years.

My mom also went to church when no one in her family went...and got really involved in youth group. If you stay in that same church (not a lot of moving around like I did) then having that big support system with other kids will be monumental in their lives.


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## SweetAltina

Omgitsjoe said:


> I've been taking my 2 young boys ( 5 years and 15 months old ) to church each and every Sunday since they were born.
> 
> Actually after they were discharged from the hospital the first place we went to prior to going home was to church to simply bring them to the front of the alter and say " Thank you " to God for his blessing !!
> 
> I think it's important that they learn at an early age the rituals and praising of God.


This is a lovely thing to do as a family. I always dreamed someday to do something like this. I only waited because it would be all alone with two small children and I was worried what others would think about that. My original church was rather proper, but I recently moved to a new church that's a bit more fun with singing and sunday school for kids. I thought that might be fun.

Thank you for sharing your experience.


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## Omgitsjoe

SweetAltina said:


> This is a lovely thing to do as a family. I always dreamed someday to do something like this. I only waited because it would be all alone with two small children and I was worried what others would think about that. My original church was rather proper, but I recently moved to a new church that's a bit more fun with singing and sunday school for kids. I thought that might be fun.
> 
> Thank you for sharing your experience.


Don't worry about what others would think !?!? My Mrs work every other weekend at the hospital so I am left to handle two little boys and what better place to be with them but in church. 

They may be a challenge sometimes but I'd like to think most people would be impressed seeing how devoted you were with the children by taking them to church !! 

Singing and praising God with Sunday school is an excellent way to spend Sunday and I hope and pray that your husband would decide to attend Mass with his family someday !?


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## Mavash.

I'm a Christian but presently am against organized religion.

My husband goes in phases of taking the kids to church or they ask to go.

I don't think it matters as long as the kids aren't pushed.

Some church goers are kinda pushy.....arrogantly thinking their way is the ONLY way.

My husband was raised a good catholic boy and he rebelled as an adult.

I was raised agnostic and found god of my own free will.

There are many ways to find spiritually and church attendance is only one of them.


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## Maricha75

We started taking the kids when they were born. There was a nursery class for the babies/toddlers (and moms/dads went in that class as well). Now, my youngest and middle are in the kindergarten class. Hmmm... what I'm talking about is like Sunday School, but called Sabbath School at our church. But during church service? Kids sat in the pew with us. We made sure they had activities to do...quiet activities. And when they were really young, they slept through service anyway! LOL 

Anyway, we've been taking ours with us since they were babies.


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## Wiserforit

SweetAltina said:


> He may someday come, but I know what he'll say to the kids when we go. "Gonna go thump some bibles eh? Lame." He'll not call names or anything, he'll just make it clear to the kids (and me by extension) that he thinks it's dumb.


Then you two have some negotiating to do. It has to be worked out to the satisfaction of both parties before you start bringing them, or otherwise it is going to be conflict that escalates into fights you are not in control of. The emotions of the moment will rule.


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## Lyris

I don't see why your desire to take the to church trumps your husband's desire for them not to go.

I don't believe in organised religion and I would not be happy about my husband taking my 3 and 1 year old to church. They are too young to be making any kind of judgement or choice, so it's not about allowing them to choose. It's about indoctrinating them into your beliefs. 

If they were 12 and 10 and were being exposed to a variety of beliefs, maybe. But you married someone who doesn't share your beliefs and like it or not, he has equal say in whether they go or not, especially while they are so young.


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## Omgitsjoe

Sweet ,

Hope you were se to enjoy Sunday Masa this morning  

My family and I all attended today and it was a wonderful feeling though my littlest one was a bit all over the place


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## SweetDee47

tulsy said:


> I'm not a religious person at all, but I did take my children to the local community church. I think it's important that the children are exposed to everything and make their own decisions from there.
> 
> I studied religions of the world, past and present, and spoke to my children about what people believe in different cultural groups. I told them where I stand, that I did not believe, but that they need to educate themselves and decide for themselves what they believe.
> 
> I told them that I don't care what they believe, I will love them regardless. I can't make the decision for them, and I let them know that I am not always right.


Beyond Awesome! I am a Christian, my whole family is atheist and I believe the same thing. I also studied all forms of spirituality and religion as well. I never ever want to force my beliefs or even force my kids to continue going to church if they don't want to. My husband was raised in a strict Christian home and resented being forced to go to church. I always said if we switched families we would have been happier....lol


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## MyrnaLoy

I'm confused-- why are you asking us if your husband will feel excluded-- why don't you just ask him? 

People are rather strongly opinionated about faith so everyone is different. You guys should talk about it and figure something out. You shouldn't take them without talking to him about it first. And if you do decide together that they will go with you, he should not tell them it is 'lame' (Which is pretty immature anyway, did you marry a 12 year old?). I'm sure the kids will ask him why he doesn't go to church and he should be able to tell them, while respecting your beliefs too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## eyuop

SweetAltina said:


> I married a non-Christian. He doesn't have a problem with my religion but dislikes feeling pushed either way. I don't push, but I do want my kids to have some exposure to it so they have a choice. If I never take them they'll never know god and will not have the chance to choose that path.


If you married a non-Christian, then you went against the advice of Scripture when you married a non-Christian (1 Corinthians 7). That advice was so that "you will live in peace". So you had to have weighed this out and decided to do this anyway and deal with the consequences later. 

However, that doesn't mean that he has the right keep you and your kids from going to church. He has no right to control you -- and this wouldn't matter if he were a Christian or not.


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## frusdil

Taking the children to church needs to be discussed and agreed on between you and your husband before you take them.

He doesn't have the right to stop you going yourself, but he does have the right to a say in whether or not the children go.

I don't think you should take them until you can agree on this together. If he agrees to let the children go, then he must be respectful and not tease them about it.

It might be best to wait until they're a little older and let them choose for themselves.


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