# Can you be monogamous emotionally but not sexually?



## amysmymentor (Aug 13, 2011)

I'm just wondering. Does it work? Like Has anyone ever tried it what's your opinion on it?


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

In my opinion, it's a whole package: monogamy is emotional and sexual. It's an all or nothing thing. Monogamy refers to being faithful, and if you're sleeping with someone else, you're not being faithful, and in the same way, if you give your romantic feelings to someone else, you're not being faithful. 

People in polygamous or polyamourous (no clue how to spell that, dang it!) share sex and emotions (most of the time anyway), so to me it works the same way in a monogamous relationship.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

No.


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## SadieBrown (Mar 16, 2011)

No, no you can't. 

Monogamous means both emotionally and sexually. It is not possible to keep emotions separate from sex. You may try and it may work at first but it won't end that way.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

The definition of monogamous means to have only one mate. From what I've read here there are people that are married and are sexless. Usually at least one of them is miserable with that arrangement so does it work? No.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

No. Next question.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

No! I have read too many stories of people who embark on sexual relationships outside of their marriage, but someone usually ends up very hurt when emotions inevitably play a part.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Sure you can. We call those people paranoid narcissists.


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## fredless (Jun 12, 2011)

There are many ways to define "rationalization."


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Sure you can. We call those people paranoid narcissists.


:iagree: :rofl:


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

SadieBrown said:


> No, no you can't.
> 
> Monogamous means both emotionally and sexually. It is not possible to keep emotions separate from sex. You may try and it may work at first but it won't end that way.


I suppose none of you have heard of a one night stand. Given, the context may differ from the OP's intent. 

Yes, it is possible to maintain an emoitnally loyal marriage that allows for "fun" outside. Most people arent mature enough to handle it long term, but it is possible. And while Im certain many people on these forums will be able to recall the horror stories they have heard about these types of relationships, Keep in mind that based on all the opinions you have recieved above mine, that people who enjoy swinging long term, and maintain a happy marriage are usually underground because their beliefs contradict the mainstream. You wont hear them shouting about the lifestyle, because they would be critiszised for it. 

Id suggest you find a different forum for your query.


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## ren (Aug 1, 2011)

I personally think I can be, and I know other people can be. It's a terrible idea though unless everyone involved is aware of the situation. I've actually met several people in happy and stable multi-partner long-term relationships, and people who are in various kinds of open relationships. It's clearly possible to "de-link" sexual monogamy from emotional monogamy and still maintain a healthy relationship. Fidelity is what matters, and fidelity is something that can entirely distinct from monogamy.


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## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

why are you asking? (are you thinking you'd want that, or is it something your SO asked about..?

i think its always a disaster in the making....its just like wondering if you can put your hand over the stove and not get burned...

emotions and sex are usually in some way tied together..


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