# Hey I'm new - recently engaged too!



## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

Hello everyone so I am new! I just got back from Italy where my bf of over a year just proposed and I said yes. This will be his second marriage, he was divorced in 2007 and has three kids from his first marriage. 

Am I insane?? I am 32, this will be my first marriage. I was too career focused in my 20s getting my masters degree and working like crazy, I am finally ready to settle. 

Hope you ladies will be able to provide me some advice! Oh and he is born and bread in New York City, I moved to NYC for grad school (from Canada) and have been living in the area ever since. I want to get married back in Canada.

Big wedding, small wedding what do you think will be best?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

You do what best suits you and your future groom. 

Good luck


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Congratulations! I guess maybe you're looking for pros and cons for both big and small wedding? I had a big wedding only because we both have HUGE close knit families which means everybody was expecting an invite. I had an average size bridal party. Maid of honor 3 bridesmaid Jr bridesmaid flower girl and matching fellas. 

A large wedding is hard to manage leading up to the wedding from going to look for the gowns all the way thru rehearsal dinner. The reception was also overwhelming. Even with all that it was my dream wedding and well worth all the work. I would have been perfectly satisfied with a small wedding but that would be been too stressful to deal with my family. Plus I was really young. 

Just remember it's the one time that it's all about YOU (well for the most part) I hope your fiance feel the same way since this his second. 

Oh be sure to have the step Mom/any additional kids talk. And the sex talk!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I vote small wedding. It's not about the ceremony it's about you and him.


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## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

Thanks for the notes ladies! 

Here are my thoughts so far: 

I want a wedding party!!! - my three bffs whom I have been maids of honor at their weddings will certainly be in mine and FH has a 15 y/o daughter so I am going to ask her to be a bridesmaid. He wants his two sons (ages 14 ad 12) to stand beside him, thats his only must have for the ceremony. 

I am good at planning, its not what I do for a living but just organizing and planning is a hobby of mine, especially events. We are also self proclaimed foodies, we met at a wine tasting last year and living in New York, well enough said. So I was thinking of a ceremony followed by a lunch no dance reception, just eating and enjoying food and good company max. 80 people. He is also Italian, his parents came from Italy. I am also half Italian (my mom's parents came to Canada from Italy) so Italian food is a must!!!

FH is also 11 years older than me (he will be 44 in August) and he had a vascetomy after his the birth of his 3rd. I am OK with not having my own children. I do love the idea of taking a breather from some of my work and being a part time house wife.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

Again, congrats!!

After reading your second post, I just wanted to add a few things. How does his kids and ex-wife feel about you? Are they happy about the wedding? The reason I ask is that his kids are young teens (you are going to be blessed with the hardest years of parenting ever). If they don't like you, don't get along with dad too well, or ex-wife is filling their heads with hate - they are going to be pouty and sullen faced at the wedding, they are not going to want to be there, and certainly not going to want to be IN the wedding. If, on the other hand, they get along with you both and their mom isn't filling their heads with contention, then things will be better. If that is the case, let the 15 year old be involved in the planning, at least on the dress she will be wearing. Cloths are really important to teen girls and she will not have a happy face if she is wearing something she thinks is ugly. Also keep in mind that if you get the right dress, she could wear it again to prom or homecoming - kill two birds with one stone. 

As far as the size of the wedding, do what you want. Even though it is his second wedding, it is your first so it is perfectly acceptable to have a big one. One thing we do where I live is have small ceremonies and then large receptions. The receptions don't necessarily happen on the same day either. There really are no hard-fast rules anymore, which can be good because it leaves room for individuality.

Best Wishes


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## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

I met his ex wife and I should clarify she left HIM to be with another man. So if anyone has animosity, its my FH!!! Since their breakup, my FH has lost a lot of weight, I only know him with the weight off but I have seen before pics! He doesn't speak negatively about her at least in my presence. And when I met her she was polite. 

The daughter and I get a long well. I love shopping, music, all the girlie things. His sons, I play sports with them etc. So I think they like me. 

I don't live with FH yet, I still live in my condo but I am selling it to move with FH. He has his kids every other weekend and for one month during the summer.


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## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

Hey ladies, just met up with some of my friends, I am thinking Las Vegas!!!!


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## NativeSun09 (Mar 28, 2013)

Congratulations! My husband and I did a fairly small wedding. Spent about $8,000; we wanted to splurge on the honeymoon. I kind of wish we had done Vegas too but differently than what everyone thinks because that city is awesome.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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