# Adult Friend Finder



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Oh boy. 

I had an AFF account for years. It's how I met my Husband. I actually went on there to get this, meet adult FRIENDS. Not one night stands. oops.

Well I checked my account recently and noticed I had like 200 replies. I have put on my profile that I am in a relationship, and that I'm only looking for Friends, NOT SEX.

Once I weeded out all the 'hey baby lets F**k' messages, there were several there that might turn into actual friends or even good business contacts.

This account is not hidden from Hubby and he has my log in and password and checks it regularly. I dont feel i have anything to hide from him. 

There are enough posts to would be suitors out there stating look, you are cute and all but i'm in love with my husband to make him feel secure.

However. I've been invited to a buisness meeting where one of these people will be in attendence. He wants to talk about starting a joint venture. Fine and dandy with me, I like business.

But he wants to meet at a cafe before the meeting (I mentioned I wanted to talk to him privately before the general meeting to get a feel of where this JV might go) and he picked an 8pm cafe and said he would be there at the table with a yellow rose. 

Oh for heavens sake. I wrote him back to make sure he didn't have designs on my old ugly butt and to let him know i'm not in this for anything personal. He said that was fine. 

Hubby says he doesn't care (typical hubby) but I feel weird about it. 

To make matters worse, there are about 50 guys on there that would be happy to date me that are gorgeous, rich, successful, single etc. 

I didn't realize how much I missed getting compliments from my husband till i went on that site and was literally bombarded with all sorts of really thoughtful, intelligent compliments. 

Well, long and short of it is - if hubby does what I think he's gonna do at Spring war the weekend of the 20th - (he's claiming to be bringing something called the panty-dropper, and will be drinking tequila which he ONLY does when he's on a '**** fest' nuff said) I may just look up one of these guys.

I dunno.. Am I being stupid?


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Yes, you kinda are being stupid. You should not be using adult friend finder for just finding people to socialize. That site is strictly for making hookups.

I think you know that. So even IF that is not your intent, you know that every guy there is there trying to get laid.

Sure, you can weed out the crude and immature approachers, but this guy putting a yellow rose on the table? He knows you are from Texas, so he's trying to finesse you however he can.

Watch yourself, you are trying to convince you that this game of seduction is not what you are up to. Mentioning that your H doesn't seem to care is justification.

Look out, you are about to bring a world of hurt into your marriage.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Maybe. I guess it will depend on whether hubby jumps ship first.

Like EVERY male out there isn't looking for sex? please. I think they are, just don't have the idea to say so unless they are on a site like that.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I though that was a big swinger site


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Bad move Snix, don't do it, just my opinion.

Yeah, the guy wants a "joint venture", I can imagine what kind of joint venture he is thinking about.


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## Chris H. (Jan 27, 2007)

Snix, I'm confused why you started one thread about getting "Marriage Fitness" to work on your marriage then this thread in which it seems like you're heading in the opposite direction?  

AFF is not a friendly social networking site - it is pretty much strictly for people looking to meet sex partners. It's pretty clear about that. I doubt you'll meet many good natured people who are interested in a platonic relationship with you there.

It might benefit your marriage to commit to it and cancel accounts such as these.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

My husband has accounts on AFF, Myspace, facebook, Meetsingles now, Redhead this and that etc. Some he lists himself as single and looking for a short young redhead. Some he lists himself as in a relationship. Other than a few times when I brought it up and we argued bitterly about it, we don't talk about his internet use. He says he isn't looking for anyone. He says that I shouldn't be jealous, that jealousy is a sick emotion and I'm sick for feeling it. 

He has always encouraged me to do the same but I didn't feel right about it. He knows about the account and everybody I talk to - I don't keep it a secret from him. He occasionally goes on there to see who i'm talking to and what is said. I don't hide my use from him.

Honestly if I didn't talk to SOMEBODY that was nice to me during the day my depression would be complete and I would be a basket case. 

It literally makes my day to open my inbox and see that SOMEBODY anybody finds me desirable, funny, cute, smart etc. I might get 100 replies a day. Most of them are stupid - but about 10 of them are thoughtful and kind. Of those 10, I might reply to 1 in 100 over a period of a few months. My husband thinks this is silly, that I should reply to everybody. I tell him I don't want them, that I'm not looking for a relationship - that I just need somebody to tell me i'm pretty, cute, etc. 

When I chat with anyone, I always talk about my husband. I tell the person how much I'm in love with him but that I need people to talk to because he doesn't fulfill some of my needs (true) My husband knows about all this. The ones just out for sex (even if they start out talking business) and have ulterior motives soon tire of me because if the conversation turns personal I talk about my husband and how much i'm in love with him. Those ppl either fade away or get with the program and we talk business.

Husband doesn't and won't tell me he wants me (in any capacity) tell me he needs me, tell me I'm pretty or smart or beautiful or anything. He thinks I'm stupid for wanting that sort of thing. He says he is sorry that I need it. He says that he is sorry that he can't tell me those things.

He flirts with his female friends all the time. Up to an including tell them 'he thinks his heart just stopped' when he finds out they are redheads. He has NO problem telling them they are cute, funny, beautiful, sexy etc. He doesn't say HE wants to have sex with them specifially, but he def flirts. He looks up but doesn't reply to every classmates, yahoo personals etc ad he gets. He's going to his "spring war" event the weekend of March 20 where he is planning on bringing his special penis shaped water gun, role playing, bringing his 'famous' panty dropper drink etc. he has already said he's gong to get drunk and whatever - And i'm specifically NOT invited to come this year. He mentioned in counseling that he hasn't gone to his (all male) events because I don't approve of them. This is not true. I don't mind him going to these events, or any events, I just want to come too! There are plenty of couples that go every year. 

He says that he doesn't feel right 'letting go' if the kids are there. I can get a baby sitter for that weekend. He still doesn't want me to go. He asks me 'oh honey, is it ok if I go and have just a little bit of fun? I need this' and he is so sweet and begging me to go.
If I mention I'm worried about him 'hooking up' while he's there he just brings up how stupid and sick I am to be jealous. He says that the people he talks to are just friends and I should drop it before we get into a big fight again. I got sick of hearing that so I dropped it.

I have met several ppl from aff over the years, including my husband! but the other ppl I meet are all long distance mentors in business or just business contacts. 

I know it's a 'hook up site' and I ignore those ppl. But there are good ppl there too. If I could find a site with as many ppl that I could just meet business contacts with, I'd join that in a heartbeat. But I haven't found one yet.

As it is, when I'm feeling totally ugly, worthless and less than a human, I turn to my inbox for reassurance. Yes, i'm sure that paints me as a stupid weak person. But it keeps me from crying all day.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Anyway, I have a meeting this afternoon with a business contact from there. We are going to talk about several things. He knows about my husband and my family. He's got a girlfriend whom he loves dearly and we are not in this for 'personal' reasons. 

But he makes me smile (what good business person doesn't?) and we laugh alot even in the few times we have spoken on the phone. I think this will be a good business contact. 

I asked my husband if he wanted to sit in on the meeting. He said he would rather stay home and watch a new episode of lost. Ok, his choice. When my husband got his new 'real' job he dropped helping me in either of the businesses and doesn't want anything more to do with them. 

It's unfortunate that his "real" job is costing us more than we are making. I am in effect PAYING him to go to work. I tried to say something about it and he ignored me. oh well.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

I'm sorry snix, that you're feeling that way
But to be honest, I can't blame you..

I have read many of your posts, and it seems to me like this man does whatever he wants. I mean having all those accounts? Redheads.com? Listing himself as single. 

he is looking, don't let him say he's not, if he wasn't , he wouldn't have those accounts. Even if it's not for sex, he's looking.

I'm sorry, but after everything you've said, and all the things you have pointed out. I'd leave this relationship. but that is just me. He is treating you so badly. He's got no respect for you, or your feelings, or the fidelity that is supposed to be there. Having mulitple accounts, and listing yourself as single, is not right, and for him to say he's not "actively" looking, is just BS.

I had a boyfriend who used to do that, and he'd tell me he wasn't looking, that they were either old accounts, or that he is just friends with the girls. Guess what, he wasn't just friends, and he was cheating, and looking for hook ups...

You're been beaten up enough, don't you think? this is just my take on it. I just feel for you, you don't deserve to be treated like this, no one does.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Ya im with marina, too. I dont blame you for going on there and wanting to get the compliments. when my H was being a **** and ignoring me, i went on singles sites, too. it was nice to get the attention again. It was nice to actually talk with a guy again, and have them be interested in me. Now I stick with penpal sites, though. I've had penpals in africa (Gambia), Iran, and Ive had a penpal from Lebanon for eight years now. I have a penpal that is from the states but he moves around a lot and is in Switzerland now. We've written for three or so years. It might be something you could try out. You learn a lot but also get some attention, too. Plus its less risky.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

I'm going to try and have some time with him tonight before my meeting. I hope he's open to it. This may be his last chance. 

The gentleman in question just happens to be bringing a man I knew before I met my husband. This man is single again, wealthy and says he is still in love with me. (whooo boy what a meeting this is going to be) and happens to be partners with the man I'm meeting. 

If hubby won't talk to me, or says he doesn't want me - I may end up dating this person. Don't worry, I will absolutely without question let hubby know about it before I date him. I don't believe in cheating. I do believe in letting your SO know that hey, if you don't want me there is somebody that does. 

It could be that Mr X isn't my cup of tea anymore. It could be that he is. I don't know. What I do know is that hubby is fast running out of time to make up his mind about it. 

I know of at least 20 eligible, single, wonderful men that would love to take me out and have fun, be friends and see where it goes. I LOVE my husband (or whatever he is) and I would give anything and give up anything for him to love me too. But if he doesn't, so be it. 

If he wants me, I'm here. If he doesn't, I think I've done my time.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

snix11 said:


> If he wants me, I'm here. If he doesn't, I think I've done my time.


Ya, I think its good as long as you let him know. If he isnt willing to fight for you, well, you should find someone that is.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I am really at a lost here...really lost....

:scratchhead:


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## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

I think adult friend finder is asking for trouble in a marriage or any committed relationship! Just my 2 pennies!


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

And wouldn't it figure that very night he comes on to me with sex and love and tenderness? He has always been able to read me. Either he's looking at my PC logs (don't think he is) or he felt a tremor in the force. 

Good news was, Friday was a good business meeting, nothing more. Said old flame was just that - old news. He was still handsome and charming but there was no connection or spark. We parted ways and will probably work together, but that's it. 

The waiter at the place, however, was ALL over me! lol. Still... I was like "shrug" to it all. In my heart I still love the idiot I live with.


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## tlee (Feb 26, 2009)

My opinion, men will give all the compliments, whatever you want to hear if it will lead to what they want. If you had a decent husband, he would be giving you what you need emotionally. Neither of you should be on any dating sites period.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I have searched for men to chat with on adult sites, and they are 99% perverts who only want sex, regardless of whether you are married or not. I have quite a few good online male friends from penpal sites and my blog, but I still don't feel comfortable meeting them in person.


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

You sound like a masochist in a co-dependent relationship.

Harsh, but dude, think about it? WHAT are you doing?


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

WHAT am I doing? 

Raising my kids. 
Raising his kids.
Homeschooling my kids.
Homeschooling his kids.
Letting him have enough space and room to figure out what he wants.
Respecting his wishes to be more 'open' and 'light' in our relationship.
Gearing myself for the very real time when I have given it my year and if he still no longer loves me, or wants me or needs me, if he is still not committed to a relationship with me, then I'll leave. 

Nothing I do is a secret from him, not even the dating sites. I'm surprised constantly by his hiding HIS activities from me. Shrug. That's his cross to bear, not mine. He could care less if I date, screw, see, fall in love with anyone. Why should it bother me?

We had sex on Wed, it was good, but felt weird. He actually wanted to have 'cam' sex, which we did. I don't think anyone actually saw us, but to know we were broadcasting was really freaking me out. 

I don't think I'll do it again. I mean, I'll try anything once, but this was just... I don't know... strange? I always thought it would be kind of thrilling, but it was more like a reality show, which i find boring


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

You're home schooling your children? I thought they went to school? Didn't your youngest get punished for missing the bus?

Do you have a teaching degree from a University?


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

Funny though...
you open this thread up as just looking at your AFF account because you had one.

The you admit you are looking for 'friends'.

Then you had to 'weed out' those that want more than to be friends.

Then you talk about prospects of dating...but dont really want that.
Then you talk about how they are all wealthy, and handsome.

Then you make a date...but its not really a date.

Then you talk about a guy that still loves you which is coming.

You put all of this on your husband.

And you talk about how the waiter was all over you.

......can we stop beating around the bush here? Can you be honest with yourself and all of us...stop denying what it is you are looking for. You are fantasizing about cheating and you are only thinking about your husband in relation to yourself. Your husband does care, and I think you really are playing down his emotions and raising yours above his. 

I'm sorry to say but you are really following a pattern here and you are only thinking about yourself right now. 

On the surface you are all excitement over all this but your really acting out of fear, loneliness and emptiness beneath it all. That is very dangerous in every way. You need to face those problems and stop denying and making excuses..


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> You're home schooling your children? I thought they went to school? Didn't your youngest get punished for missing the bus?
> 
> Do you have a teaching degree from a University?



Soccerman - one is homeschooled right now, two go to Public school. This summer they will all be homeschooled. The youngest is 1, so i don't think he got punished for missing the bus 

Recap of the kids: 

My Daughter 22, living in town. Special needs kid.

My Son 17 living at home, working with my business, graduated hs at 14, doing online university work towards a degree.

His son 16, moved out, living with friends. graduated (HS) at 15. working in town with his friends.

His daughter, 10, goes to public school this year, was homeschooled for two years by me prior to this year. Will be homeschooled this summer and possibly next year.

My son, 8, homeschooled. Gifted and talented. Started public school this year, but was put in his age grade rather than his academic grade. Was getting 100's and correcting the teachers mistakes. Tested for GAT. suggested he was homeschooled or possibly put in the library at school all day by himself to do 'projects'. That he can do at home.

My son, 5, goes to Public school (K) and is homeschooled on the weekends. will be homeschooled this summer and possibly next year. He got in trouble for missing the bus.

Our son, 1, Didn't miss the bus 

All clear?

Texas does not require a teaching degree to homeschool your children. That said, I have plenty of degrees and enough sheepskins to homeschool in any state in the US. I have worked as a teacher in preschool, elementary, highschool and in university before. I'm comfortable homeschooling.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Tim said:


> Funny though...
> you open this thread up as just looking at your AFF account because you had one.
> 
> The you admit you are looking for 'friends'.
> ...


Hi Tim, thanks for the reply.

My husband was the one who suggested he only wanted a light and non committal relationship. He constantly suggests I meet and sleep with other men. He says he is not jealous and that jealousy is a sick emotion. 

He is also not possessive of me in any way. He thinks of me as a friend, not a wife. He introduces me as a wife in public, but treats me as a 'buddy' every other way. 

He has women he flirts with on line all the time. He has lots of porn also. He has profiles on facebook, AFF, and several other sites where he lists himself as single and looking for a short redhead. 

When other men and even ex boyfreinds flirt with me he thinks it's funny. I even had an ex ask if he could take me out. He said sure. The ex was surprised and even a little angry about how he treated me. 

His friends tell him constantly that he needs to treat me better. I have had his FRIENDS offer to hold doors for me, offer me their coats, offer to help me load the car after we are at their house, even tell him to get off the phone with his ex when he's on a date with me. 

Several of his friends have come to me and asked me why I put up with how he treats me. They tell me they would never put up with it. 

If I am romantic with him, he is gracious, nothing more. 
If I am sexy with him, he accepts it, nothing more.
When we have sex, there is no foreplay and he is the only one that gets an orgasm. Immed after he rolls over to read a book and asks me to rub his back. 
If I do his chores, he says thank you.
He is constantly running up bank charges with overdrafts that I have to cover with my accounts. Last month he ran up over 450.00 in bank charges. He said he was sorry and wouldn't do ti again. But the next week, he did it again.
His job pays for his ciggeretts, starbucks coffee, eating out for lunches etc. He was supposed to be contributing 300.00 a week (he makes 450) towards the family or childrens expenses. He does not. He takes his friends out for lunch every day. 

I have seen him turn on and off the love, caring and romance like a switch. He decides that he wants to be loving, caring or romantic and he IS. This isn't something he's upset about, or confused about. It's a concious decision. 

He sleeps in my house, in my bed. He tells me everyday how much he loves the bed because it's so comfortable. But he never says how much he loves me. 

It doesn't matter what I do. I was utterly faithful to him for two years even after he decided he no longer wanted a relationship with me. He said it wasn't me, it was him. He just wasn't ready for a relationship. He was sorry, and felt like an a$$ for using me. He said he wanted to be friends, nothing more. He gave me an ultimatum two years ago. That I stop Criticizing him and stop arguing or he would leave. 

This means when he screws up royally like overdrafts I'm required to bail him out without bothering him. This means when he forgets to pay his portion of the bills, I have to find a way to pay them without mentioning it to him. This means I cannot ask for something for me. This means I'm not allowed to even ask for an orgasm when we have sex. That is seen as Criticizing' his sexual technique. 

This is the guy you think cares so much?

He cares for me as a friend and a resource, nothing more.

The worst part is I loved him SO much. As a lover, a friend, a husband and a soulmate. But he rejected me. He says it is not my fault, it was just 'him'. But to live with someone and not feel that love back is one of the worst things in the world.

What's even worse is because of the way he's treating me, i'm falling out of love for him more and more every day. Some days it breaks my heart to see him be so callus. Some days I just don't care anymore. Some days I'm looking forward to the time when he's finally gone and out of my life so I'll be free to be with someone who appreciates me, loves me and wants me for their very own just like I do them.

Of course I'm confused about the whole AFF thing. To him it's cute and funny - like he would be with a buddy. To me it feels like cheating. But how can you cheat on a man who encourages you to sleep with other men? 

Of course I'm lonely. Given my present situation, who wouldn't be?

Of course I'm turning to wherever I can for a compliment - a flirt - some kind of recognition that I am worthy of attention. It may not be attention from the man I love, but at least it someone who's not treating me like dirt. 

It makes me feel great to hear that I'm pretty and sexy and cute and funny and smart. Even if it's from a stranger. It breaks my heart NOT to hear it from the one man I love more than anything in the world.

*I don't WANT anyone else. I WANT him.* But he no longer wants me. He has said so. He has shown me so in his actions. But still he stays living here with me. Sleeping in my bed. Telling me 'hi honey' when he gets home from work. Asking me to go out with him sometimes to his friends house. But all these things are on a social, light, friend level. Like a roommate. 

And if I ask him what he's thinking or feeling - if I ask him to tell me what he really wants from life, from us, from me, from himself - he simply answers "I don't know" and goes on treating us like roommates. He doesn't spend time or effort trying to figure out what he wants, he just ignores it and pushes it aside. 

He will do the marriage counseling if I make the appointment. 
But he doesn't do anything they suggest.
But once in a while he even suggests counciling. (confusing)

He will go out with me on a 'date' if I suggest it. 
But we go out as 'buddies' and play pool. Nothing sexy or special or romantic.
But once in a while he will take my hand, lead me to the couch, hold me in his arms and look deep into my eyes and tell me how much he cares about me and wants us to work (confusing)

He will have sex with me if I insist and initiate it.
But it's all about him - and very selfish
But once in a while, he makes the decision to have it be 'my turn' and he's WOW wonderful sexy, giving, loving, romantic. But this is a 100 to 1 ratio. (confusing)

So i'm left with emotional and relationship whiplash. Every once in a while i see this star bright loving man I fell in love with. Then the rest of the year i'm left trying to understand why I am being treated like a roommate.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

GA soccerman...

as my hubby is a teacher/junior high administrator...

yes, you can homeschool , in certain states, without a teaching degree. Some states require that you do it under an "umbrella church" program...

However... to be certified to teach elementary, requires a Certification in elementary in education and a degree. To teach junior high or High school, requires a Totally different certification, it's a secondary education certification . There is no "certificaton" to teach at a university, however, rarely are people allowed to teach at a university, unless they have at the very least a masters... or a PhD.

Very few people are Certified to teach at a preschool/elementary/highschool/and university level all at once... as this would require multiple certifications, and mulitple degrees, including a PhD... but if they were, that person would surely be over qualified to work. No trouble finding a job is you are certified to teach at any conceivable level. ;-)

Didn't you say you were certified as a teacher GA? I remember you saying that to me once. Where did you teach? Did you teach history? 

My hubby's BS was in secondary education with a concentration in history and government. then he got his MS in political science and constitutional history

He also has the equivalent of a masters from the United States Army Command and General Staff College, in management... it's a school all officers that achieve Major go through.

He then got his masters certification in school administration

He then completed his EdS (education specialist degree) in education administration , the level is between the masters and PhD levels. He plans on doing the PhD program , but right now, the money is tight, so we are putting it off. I am also wanting to go back to school, either to get my Law degree, or to teach , can't decide which. 

Well , I"m sure you know what is actually required to teach at all those levels.... 
As you were a teacher yourself. We teachers and spouses of teachers know exactly what is required. hehe.. ;-) Talk to you later GA!


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Yes I am a Certified Teacher in the State of NJ, Majored in History, secondary ed, and minored in Economics. But I ahve been out of that field for 10 Years. Now I work for a major Telecom company doing network surviellience and Special projects, I have moved into a mid-level management job , they just offerred me a promotion in Nashville, but Declined becuase my daughter does not want to leave Georgia, neither does my wife.


Sorry, Snix, I thought the 5 year old, was your youngest, not the 1 year old. I impressed your children have their Diploma's before their "graduating" years. My son too is way ahead of the curve for his Age, straight A student and got a perfect score on his CRCT's (Georgia's standardized Test) he was moved to the gifted program for some class, I asked that he kept in his normal classes for other subjects.I feel Social skills are very important, he will have to deal with a diverse society and different ways of life when he reaches adulthood and that is not something you can lern in books. Growing up and around near NYC taught me alot about people. 

I know you do not need a teaching degree to homeschool your children, I do feel the parent should take some sort of profiency test before being allowed to teach, As I said I coach 12 year old girl Soccer, I had a girl on my team 2 years ago, her mother "home schooled her" and it was really said, because her mother was not very smart and she was doing her daughter a disservice, the daughter also had a clear cut case of ADD, but I also had another child on my team who had 8 siblings, but both parents were MD's , the mother stayed home to "home school" the children instead of her profession. Those children excelled in everything.

I was just curious of your educational backround, you must have Multiple Degree's, that must have been to obtain through the years. What are your degree's in?


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

GA, that is neat. You could actually get your PhD and teach at university after you retire from the Telecom company. And, if you've got a PhD, and you're secondary certified, then you pretty much don't have to get certified for every single state you're in. So you could pretty much teach anywhere you wanted. Just an idea if you plan on retiring from your current job and seeking another one. 

My hubby wants to retire from the school system and then start a new career in a new state, either in education, or computer tech...


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi GA,

I totally agree with you - I wish there were MORE requirements to teach homeschool, especially in Texas. We have neighbors (no joke) that take their kids to church once a week and read to them out of the bible five minutes a day and call that school! ARGH.

I have actually heard women telling their children "we have one book in the house, why do you need more?" sigh...

I started college early and educated myself out of the job market before I was 20. I taught as a grad student in college (a necessary evil and my indenture) then got my teaching 'cert' in Missouri and taught elementary and high school biology. I would hardly call it a proper teaching degree but I do have the requisite hours if i were so inclined. I worked in a preschool for a while, 'teaching' if you could call it that. No higher degree there like marina said. 

My degrees are in the sciences, oceanography, microbio and equine science - but I haven't used them as a career since I got out of college! At one point I found myself with a PhD in Oceanography while living in Missouri. Not a whole lot of call for that sort of thing 

I'm a heck of a lot harder on my kids homeschooling than someone would be in a public school system. They learn Latin and Greek starting in second grade (how else will you learn English properly), a foreign language (got to love Rosetta stone) every year starting in first grade and we use Saxon math. I use a combination of techniques depending on the child. With one Special needs child, one gifted dyslexic, one ADD, one GAT and one EXTREMELY kinetic learner (could only do multiplication tables while doing jumping jacks) I've had to be quite creative. 

In order to graduate HS, my kids have to pass a GED, SAT, and my own personal "test from Hades" which includes everything from a basic IQ test to essays to logical thinking puzzles to a hands on fixing things portion. 

I had one child redesign our well system (and darn if he didn't do an amazing job) and the other repair and refit the old John Deer tractor. After they are 14 they all do a stint at the local Vet's office where they get a kind of hands on EMT course. 

It's my goal that my children should learn how to 
set a bone, 
start an IV, 
tend to wounds and suture, 
conn a ship, 
build a wall, 
weld MIG, TIG Arc and Stick, 
know how to properly use rifles, pistols and shotguns
hunt, fish, orienteering, camping 
read blueprints, draw blueprints, design something
take basic swordsmanship and martial arts, 
ride a horse and a bicycle
cook, sew, 
drive cars, motorcycles and tractors, and a boat
track, hide and play. 
Amuse themselves, others and speak in front of a crowd. 

Add to that read music, play and instrument and carry a tune and you have our basic curriculum.

I'm happy to say that they are all well on their way to completing these things!


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

....and you had kids with this guy? I'm sorry...

I am however starting to understand myself a little bit and excuse me if I'm projecting myself onto you but I dont see you respecting yourself. I'm just starting to learn what that even means. If you had self respect from the beginning, you would not have married him nor have had kids. You have to start being responsible for your actions....just like me.

Again, sorry if I'm projecting LOL I might do that a bit especially when I'm on the verge of an emotional breakdown.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

A PHD in Oceanography at Missouri of all places? not dissing, you dear, just find it funny that a landlock school offers such, I am a big Ocean Person, I am like a fish out of water, Some of the Advances that Rutgers University has made in this department is amazing, they engineered a small sub to go from NJ to England for research purposes, to bad the Puppy crashed about 2 miles from England....lol

Well sounds like you have a solid plan for your children, I cringe at when I hear the Bible thumping home schooling, which I see alot of in Georgia, but this is the United States of America, where you can be crazy and it's fine. (not saying people who are religious are crazy, just some of them are, so calm down people)


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

hey this AFF looks interesting. Too bad I'm a guy though...I'm going to be in a dime a dozen on there.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi GA.. yeah I know.. what's up with the Mo stuff? I finished out my research in the bahamas which was heavenly, and I will be retiring there to study dolphin speech. I didn't start out going to Mo to study oceanography, it just kind of happened. I was in school on a full Equine scholarship to be a mounted forest ranger - then they changed the whole school around while I was there and tried to drop my major. I threw such a fit that they let me do orals for my degrees and I ended up with three PhD's by the time I was 20, without having to go thru the 'usual' time and channels. Frankly I consider the oceanography and mirco degrees more 'honorary' than earned. But I'd hardly call NMSU (now Truman) to be a respected oceanography citadel of learnin 

Religious people are CRAZY, nuts, wacko... there, said it... let the flame begin 

Think anyone will take the bait?


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Tim, you never know till you try.. I met some business associates on there and some friends. 

Just be honest in your profile and be you. The girls will figure it out.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

what are your other two PHD's in?


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

GA, nothing i've really ever used in my career before. Soft sciences mostly, and I consider one of them honorary - only because I fast tracked my way in with orals and as the univ was changing hands. 

I think my CV is on another thread you were asking me regarding them.


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