# Cheating and post nuptial agreement



## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

I originally had this thread in the Ladies Lounge, but thought I might get more responses here. 

I had a previous thread back in April which outlines the whole storey if you are interested.


My husband has cheated on me in the past year twice. I won't go into the whole storey, but I would like your views on me asking him for a post nuptual agreement.

He has great remorse and is doing what he can to get back my trust.

We are financially comfortable and in our fifties. I have only been working very part time in the past 10 years, so I don't have a steady source of income.

Do you think it is too much to ask that he sign a post nuptual agreement for the financial future stating how assets would be divided if he chose to cross boundaries again? This would include anything to do with another woman, including on line affairs, anything to do with sex on the computer (so many ways I don't even know them all), escorts, massage parlours, excessive use of porn. He has crossed some of these boundaries.

This agreement would be in my favour leaving me with 3/4 of our assets which are quite substantial. It would leave him half his pension and a modest home/condo for him to live in without a mortgage.

He would be able to live on this with no problem, but not luxury.

Am I being too harsh?


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

As one who also cheated, I would agree to it if I intended to stay with my spouse.


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## Dellia (Jan 6, 2012)

Too much to ask? No way! It makes me wonder how fewer cheats there would be if ppl did pre nup aggreements with cheating conditions in them! Some will cheat at any risk, but I think many ppl would stop and think twice!
HerToo is right. If he is serious, he will have no problem in signing.
Best wishes


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Most often than not a good lawyer can break a post-nuptial agreement...all you have to prove is duress, not informed of rights amongst other things. Postnuptial agreements more often than not are a myth in the terms you shared you wanted on your post.

The courts across this land and sone legislatures weakened post-nuptial agreements in order to protect women who were forced to sign under duress or ignorant of their rights in a divorce.....but once the judge rules or the law made is protects us all.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I posted on your other thread as well. I don't think that you are being "fair" at all. 

3/4 of his pay? That is ridiculous in my book. I asked for not a penny more than half in mine, and I think anything more is ridiculous. 

How much have you contributed to the finances throughout the marriage?? How much has he?


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I have never cheated. 

But if I did and I was trying to reconcile and my wife asked me to sign an agreement whereby she would get 3/4 of our stuff and I would only get 1/4, I would leave her.

I would feel like I was being blackmailed.


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## Lazarus (Jan 17, 2011)

Absolutely insist on it. Get two witnesses to sign to say the document was signed without duress.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

If you have substantial assets...no lawyer would allow him to sign that. He or she would advise him to go by the letter of the law in your state. Especially if you live in a no-fault state...Sorry to play devils advocate....


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Lazarus, you cannot sign away your feeling....in Calif I would have no problem breaking a post-nuptial crafted as you suggest. 

To make it work each party has to have their own attorney (not partners/associates in the same firm) and you will need to go infront of a judge. No judge would sanction an agreement that has one party giving 3/4 of their income - which common sense will tell you will put that person in poverty, take the incentive of gainful employment away, and probely put them on the county/state welfare/aide rolls.
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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

The big picture solution would have the people petition our legislatures to bring back "fault" divorces without throwing "no-fault" out the window.
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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

Thank you for all of your comments.

Just to answer a few of your questions -

I live in Canada and these arrangements are made all the time in this country.

With my husband having 1/4 of our assets, he will still be able to have a pretty cushy life, with a nice car, golf, travel and a new place to live in all with cash (no loans or mortgage). He has a high income and his pension (getting in 3 years) will also be much higher than an average person.

I would like the money to help our 2 daughters with their lives.

My husband has never come home to a house without dinner on the table, has done only dishes, never did laundry, no housework, he has done most of the yardwork in our 30 yr marriage. I didn't mind doing it all because he didn't want me to work so his life could be easy with someone at home holding down the fort all the time.

I have been working part time in the past 10 years because I wanted to get out and do something, but have still kept up with the dinners, and all of the housework.

I feel I've put my time in and deserve whatever I can get.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

confused55 said:


> Thank you for all of your comments.
> 
> Just to answer a few of your questions -
> 
> ...


I would say thank you, but no thank you and send you packing. What makes you think you deserve more than 1/2 of the assets. Good luck!


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

Kando,

I read some of your thread. It is quite alarming to say the least.

I can't believe how bad you've been treated and continued on with your wife.

You should have got 100% and her nothing with her ruthless behaviour toward you.

Money talks in this life, and it should go to the injured party, not the uncaring, disrespectful one regardless of who earned it. It's joint money if you are married.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

I believe Canada has the common law protections that will prevent your goal. Not to burst your bubble but your husband put his time in to, going to work, providing you with a standard a living that gave you the choice to work part-time, not require it. Your marriage is doomed if you insisit on this.
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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Just checked, you will have a hard time enforcing such a lopsided agreement in the Canadian courts, all your husband has to do is have some psychologist declare that he has an addiction to porn and poof the postnuptial agreement is gone.

Look I don't condone what your husband has and is doing to you, he is remorseful and that doesn't make anything right but it is positive. I believe some of the reactions of the former BS here is to jolt you into reality. You position works against what you say you want. 

Is it possible that you really don't want to reconcile and remain married and you are using this 'want' to make him the one who makes the choice to divorce?
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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

confused55 said:


> Thank you for all of your comments.
> 
> Just to answer a few of your questions -
> 
> ...


 He has put his time in too. And if he can live quite well on 1/4 of his salary, you can live quite well on 1/2. There is truly no need to try to take 3/4 of the assets. That is out of spite.

I get why you are thinking the way you are, but you have to know that its unreasonable. You don't need 3/4 of it all.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

What I don't understand on this message board regarding some of the answers to my post is that this board does not condone cheating. It is totally against it, so why should the injured party not come out ahead. Why do you care so much about the cheater and what kind of life they have. They made that decision when they cheated, and why should both sides be equal. When you do a crime, you go to jail, your spouse doesn't get punished as well when they had nothing to do with it. It's just that you have consequences in life when you make bad decisions.

I also agree that if the woman cheats, it should also go the other way.

In Egypt if a man cheats, he has to give up everything (100%) of assets, the kids and pay alimony for the rest of his spouses life.

My accountant says she has had many of her clients who have entered into legal post nup agreements as I have stated and they have stood up in a divorce. A lawyer's wife even did it and it stood up. She got 100%.

Why should I have a worse life financially when my husband didn't want me working? He wanted me to be his house mouse.

As to him leaving me, so be it if he wants to, but I have to start looking out for myself instead of letting him be in control of everything.

I'm finally mustering up the strength to take charge of my own life, and do the best I can for my girls.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I guess I don't really have a problem with this idea if he can divorce you ( without cheating) and still retain 1/2. 

Is this what your agreement would read? That he is caught cheating he only gets 1/4. But if he divorces and then finds someone else he gets 1/2?
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## sarah1003 (Jan 11, 2012)

I agree with the previous few replies. Half is what will be deemed reasonable in court unless you are still supporting your two daughters. You will need a good lawyer. However if he has a cushy income he too will hire a good lawyer. Take what is reasonable and get out of the marriage.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

confused55 said:


> What I don't understand on this message board regarding some of the answers to my post is that this board does not condone cheating. It is totally against it, so why should the injured party not come out ahead. Why do you care so much about the cheater and what kind of life they have. They made that decision when they cheated, and why should both sides be equal. When you do a crime, you go to jail, your spouse doesn't get punished as well when they had nothing to do with it. It's just that you have consequences in life when you make bad decisions.
> 
> I also agree that if the woman cheats, it should also go the other way.
> 
> ...


Your husband has control of everything? Don't you have access to the money he earns?

The only way to make that agreement fair would be for it so say that if either party cheats... the other gets 3/4's of everything.

I would never sign such an agreement because it would put a pale on the marriage. It's like you are holding a hammer over his head. That's not a way to repair a marriage.

If you want such an agreement then your frame of mind is not good for continuing the marriage. You might want to look into a divorce now.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

IMHO, 80%--20%, is the better split---you are really doing this to make him think twice before he cheats again---so make it stiffer than 75--25.

Also you do need to include a duress clause---having him state that he is under no duress to sign, this post--nup., that he is signing this in and of his own free will.


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## Tap1214 (Aug 14, 2011)

I don't understand why you would even want to stay with him, given all the cheating he has done in the past. What kindof message are you sending to your girls. 

Get a good lawyer and find the strength move on with your life. You deserve better life, then constantly wondering if he's going to cheat again!


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Your accountant giving you bad advice, I call bu## shi# on the 100% postnuptial at least for marital assets and salary. Your anger and hatred which is manifesting itself in this 3/4 condition will destroy what left of your marriage....which I am beginning to believe is what you want......you can tell the world that you offered you WH reconciliation but he refused and you are now the twice victimized martyr.

What you husband did was very wrong, what you are asking fir is wrong!
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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Jnj Express, no such thing as a DURESS CLAUSE. 

Look you could put anything you want in a self-produced document or add to a downloaded document and you may even get an attorney to add language they know won't work........the trick is will it stand up in court. One could claim that one felt blackmailed, cornered, and can also claim duress manifested itself post signing because not in normal frame of mind during signing. 

And, no such thing as 'blackmail or I felt cornered" clauses.

Poorly conceived post-nuptials, no matter what clauses you add" are easily set-aside if challenged in all 50 states and territories and all Canadian provinces.

If you want to keep your marriage, both if you need IC and MC - do the work, set-aside your hate and the "I" mentality and go forward......if you end up divorcing at a later date a good lawyer will take care of you and you will get what the law says you are entitled to and it would be a substantial amount based on what you described.

If you don't really don't care to reconcile, get that lawyer on move on with your life....
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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

calif_hope said:


> Just checked, you will have a hard time enforcing such a lopsided agreement in the Canadian courts, all your husband has to do is have some psychologist declare that he has an addiction to porn and poof the postnuptial agreement is gone.
> 
> Look I don't condone what your husband has and is doing to you, he is remorseful and that doesn't make anything right but it is positive. I believe some of the reactions of the former BS here is to jolt you into reality. You position works against what you say you want.
> 
> ...


calif - I do want to reconcile and remain married right now, but I don't know what he will do in the future, so I have to take charge of my life.

The changes I am making are -

He can no longer take trips to Vegas and other parts of the US for golf tournaments, sports games with his friends.

I am now going to be aware of our financial lives which he totally looked after before. I should be more aware.

I gave him total trust and free reign to go and do anything he wanted prior to this time. I was always encouraging him to do things with his friends, fly here, fly there, go to NFL, NHL, baseball games (whatever). I gave him too much freedom without a peep. I was happy that he was having such a good time and was able to do things he loved. This was part of the problem I believe, just too much freedom and complete security. It went too far though when he was out of town so much.

I was at home scrubbing floors and doing his laundry and ironing ready for his next little outing. I was really happy doing these things because I wanted him to have fun and like his life.

Doormat and doting wife (stupid wife) no more.

As my counsellor says "***** up" and think about yourself for once.

Just trying to figure out how to shape our new lives from now on, with some security in the background in case he screws up again.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Cobfused54

Getting involved with the finances, great idea, 100% transparency - knowledge and access to all accounts, I would suggest time with the accountant to understand it all.

The friend travel, that is a tough one, I would suggest travel getaways for the both of you - some focused on your interest and some focused on his, suggest you not take away all buddy travel but you get input on the friends / include mostly chaperone types.

If you take too much away, and too short of a leash you wll lose him. He needs to rebuild trust with you and you will eventually have to give him the opportunity to show you that he is trustworthy. If wants to cheat again ge could do it in you neighborhood - your town, travel not required

Have him pay you a monthly stipend for you to spend/save as you want....

Above all else, insist on a 50%|50% marriage......throw the doormat away and you know, use some of your money to get some part-time domestic help and get out of the house more....
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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

confused55 said:


> calif - I do want to reconcile and remain married right now, but I don't know what he will do in the future, so I have to take charge of my life.
> 
> The changes I am making are -
> 
> ...


 No one is trying to "down play" the pain you're going throught right now. And yes, this forum greatly dislikes cheating. However, advising you on 3/4 to 1/4 split. Well, we're just trying to bring reality back into this thread. I know, as much as you're hurting right now, if you're looking for 3/4 of the assets....the reality is, it's probably not going to happen.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

confused55 said:


> calif - I do want to reconcile and remain married right now, but I don't know what he will do in the future, so I have to take charge of my life.
> 
> The changes I am making are -
> 
> ...




I did the same thing. Taking care of everything while he was out doing what he was doing. That still doesn't entitle me to 3/4 of all of our stuff.

Yes, your counselor is right. Think about yourself, and begin doing things to make yourself happy. That doesn't mean you have to insist on a seriously outrageous post nuptial agreement. 

No one can see the future. But I will tell you this. I was the LS. My H had the affair. If the situation were reversed and he was asking for what you are, I wouldn't sign it and I would file for divorce the next day. It would be apparent to me that he would be doing nothing but waiting for me to mess up so he could walk away with an outrageous amount.

Do I understand why you are so hurt? Of course I do. But there is a difference between being a doormat and letting hate and anger guide your wants. DON'T be a doormat. take classes, get out of the house, have some fun! This settlement isn't about that is it? 

You just want to have all the power since you feel like he did for such a long time. Why wouldn't you want to aim for an equal marriage instead of one where there is one person holding the power over the other?


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

confused55 said:


> He has great remorse and is doing what he can to get back my trust.


If this is truly, uh, true, then he won't mind signing a post nup. If he objects, then he isn't that remorseful or interested in doing whatever it takes for you to trust him again.




> We are financially comfortable and in our fifties. I have only been working very part time in the past 10 years, so I don't have a steady source of income.
> 
> Do you think it is too much to ask that he sign a post nuptual agreement for the financial future stating how assets would be divided if he chose to cross boundaries again?


Not at all. If anything, even if you weren't serious about making him go through with it, it will be a litmus test on just how "sorry" he really is.




> This agreement would be in my favour leaving me with 3/4 of our assets which are quite substantial. It would leave him half his pension and a modest home/condo for him to live in without a mortgage.


Sounds ok seeing as you'd get 50% of the assets anyway, so why not an extra 25%



> He would be able to live on this with no problem, but not luxury.
> 
> Am I being too harsh?


Not at all. It isn't that much more than you are already entitled to in the first place.


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

HerToo said:


> As one who also cheated, I would agree to it if I intended to stay with my spouse.


And you shouldn't have any problem agreeing if you decided to be faithful.

If either party wanted to end the marriage later after signing a post nup, it wouldn't be valid if the marriage, in this scenario, was ended for any other reason than what was listed as crossing the line in the document.

If both just couldn't stand each other and one spouse wanted out, then the post nup, in this case, wouldn't get her anything more than what she is entitled to.

But then you'd have to have tangible proof of line crossing if the post nup is to be valid.


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

calif_hope said:


> Most often than not a good lawyer can break a post-nuptial agreement...all you have to prove is duress


Unless she put a gun to his head, there would be no valid accusation of duress involved.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

He has said he would go along with the financial split I suggested. It was almost too easy to get him to go along with it. I suspect he might be getting legal advise on the side from someone for a loophole.

I'm a little nervous now. I told my best friend about it and said if I start getting sick or end up dead, you'll know who did it and why. Watching too much "Dateline"

My husband is exceptionally bright and has money skills like nobody I've heard of before. (Maybe Donald Trump). All of the people I know ask him how to deal with their finances and investments. 

Will have to see my lawyer next week.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Or he is genuine in his R. He loses either way, doesn't he?


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

" This agreement would be in my favour leaving me with 3/4 of our assets which are quite substantial. It would leave him half his pension and a modest home/condo for him to live in without a mortgage."

Go for it , you are being very generous. He then knows if he cheats again he pays . I know of a husband who signed a post nup giving all assets and monies if either cheated , he did, got caught and lost everything. The post nup held out and there was no court case .

Make sure you have a smart lawyer and tax-consultant or accountant look at the agreement .
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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

Eli-Zor said:


> " This agreement would be in my favour leaving me with 3/4 of our assets which are quite substantial. It would leave him half his pension and a modest home/condo for him to live in without a mortgage."
> 
> Go for it , you are being very generous. He then knows if he cheats again he pays . I know of a husband who signed a post nup giving all assets and monies if either cheated , he did, got caught and lost everything. The post nup held out and there was no court case .
> 
> ...



Yes!!!!! I will.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Eli-Zor, Most likely the postnup held because neighter party contested the agreement, you only go to court if one party contests / fights the agreement.

Dextor, my firm took action on over 65 postnuptial agreements last year, broke them all, the ones we broke with the duress issue, no guns involved - not a one, no knives, whips, or branding iron either. The remainder of the we busted simply by demonstrating that only one party or neighter party were properly represented and not fully aware of their rights. 

If Confused 55, puts magazine, video, Internet porn un her postnuptial all he has to do is prove, and it's very easy (too easy IMO) that he is a porn addict (contributing factor - duress) and poof the postnuptial is gone.

Look, the simple fact is, if Confused 55 tells her a-h#le WH, agree to this or no reconciliation and divorce would be ammo for his attorney to prove duress via forced agreement / blackmail and poof the postnuptial is gone.

Confused 55, you need to take a deep and hard look at your motivation....and your tactics to achieve what you say you want. Your hurt, as a BH I understand, but this 25/75 and husband on a short lease is going to backfire.....and I might add as a BH I am your side in this.
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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

calif,

Thanks for all of your legal advice.

I still figure it's worth a try to split it the way I have intended. If it doesn't hold up, the worst case is 1/2 and 1/2 which is what it is right now anyway.

I don't know your storey, but I'm sorry you are on this board as well.

Take Care


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

50/50 is healthy! And let him go to a few football games and golf tournaments - both occur for the most part in very nice places......so rule is that you go to, daughters can fend for themselves ------ you don't have to actualy go to the games.....just stay at a nice hotel and enjoy the spas......shop!!! Then do something together.....thats the new rule.

And help the economy out, quit doing his laundry, iroming, and scrubbing floors - get some help or outsource!

I still strongly believe that your initial position of 25/75 is going to harm your relationship.....you are not negotiating a business deal, your taking a position that will cause pain, DISTRUST, and continued 3rd party involvement that will cause negative and hurt feeling that will grow to a degree that you will not be able to mitigate - this prenuptial as proposed by you will hang over your marriage like a vulture....circling around your marriage. Building resentment to a degree that will see both sides lawyering up and will only result in new BMWs and vacation homes for each of your lawyers and a fraction of the money to split between you to.

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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

calif - Thanks for the advice.

I will have to go to the sporting events with him next time he wants to go. He would not like me spending money at the spa but would like me to go to the games, etc with him for company. I'm fine with that. I like everything except football. I also really like sunny places.

The getting help with the housework and laundry would really not be a good idea. He would not at all go for paying someone for something I can do. He just would not allow money to be spent on that. It would be almost as bad as the 3/4, 1/4 agreement I'm proposing.

He is very very tight with money.

I'm going to see a lawyer just for a consultation next week and see what they say about if this is a good idea or if it won't hold up and then I can rethink it.

Thanks again


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey Calif hope---I don't know where you get your info from---But i have seen 3 out of 3 duress clauses--hold up in So. Calif. courtrooms, since October-----so please don't go spouting off at the mouth, about what you don't know about.

Worded properly and notarized, with the cheating partner stating to the notary, everything is above board, DOES HOLD UP IN COURT.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

JNJ, it's what I do for living, info is first hand. I never implied that postnuptial agreement were not valid agreement - my point was that if the said agreement was so lopsided to favor one party that it is beyond reason that it would be invalid when contested. Valid and solid postnuptials can withstand challenge - a majority of the usual deal with who gets what house, time share of vacation home, religious upbringing, etc. - more of identifing who get whitin the division (distributing of specific assets) but not lopsided to significanty favor one party or another (ie. A 25/75 split, including salary) And certainly they don't include the baring of attending football games and golf outings.

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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

You are right as to your advice in re: a courtroom

In these situations---the lopsidedness, is another method of trying to make the cheating spouse think twice, and three times before cheating again.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

JNJ, agree but the problem stems when one side, always the cheater, task the homemade agreement to the courts, crying foul........then the standard kicks in......if possible in Canada what she should do is have him 'gift' assets to her and declare them 'non-community property'; if a split occurs those assets are not counted in the marital split.

CONFUSED 55, your husband spends thousands of your colorful Canadian dollars annually on his outings and sport trips with the boys but has his wife scrub his floors and iron his shirts because he wants to squeeze the cent piece until the Queen screams..........no, this is a part you negotiate.

Your 'new' marriage will have him limit his outings, the bonus will be boys trips are history, and no more porn.........that is significant cost savings ......

My strong suggestion is that a portion of that money be applied to your spa days and shopping excursions when you travel with him, a portion to pay you a monthly stipend (make it a good some, fir to do as you please, and the rest goes to some help around the house.......1 or 2 football/golf tournament trips would pay for part time help fir a couple of months......
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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

calif_hope said:


> 50/50 is healthy!


50/50 is what she'd get without a prenump if she decided to divorce him for ANY reason.




> I still strongly believe that your initial position of 25/75 is going to harm your relationship


First of all, its already been hurt, by him. The only way he'd object is if he thinks he will get caught cheating in the future.

And if he is true about doing whatever it takes to show her that she is the one she wants, he'll have no problem with it. Because if the marriage dies at a later date that has nothing to do with crossing any lines, then its 50/50 again.




> .....you are not negotiating a business deal, your taking a position that will cause pain, DISTRUST


Again, that was already all done by him. Now its up to him to correct this in any way he can, if he is truly serious about his marriage.




> this prenuptial as proposed by you will hang over your marriage like a vulture


His cheating is what is hanging over this marriage like a vulture unless he can prove to her that he will never cheat again.

Again, there should be no resentment to the idea of this post nup if he plans to be faithful.


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

confused55 said:


> calif - Thanks for the advice.
> 
> I will have to go to the sporting events with him next time he wants to go. He would not like me spending money at the spa but would like me to go to the games, etc with him for company.



Ah, so basically he is ok with spending money for things HE wants to do, but you can't?

Hmmm, with this attitude, he WILL object to a post nup because I think he only thinks about himself, as if cheating didn't already prove such.





> The getting help with the housework and laundry would really not be a good idea. He would not at all go for paying someone for something I can do. He just would not allow money to be spent on that. It would be almost as bad as the 3/4, 1/4 agreement I'm proposing.


Sounds like a his way or the highway marriage.



> He is very very tight with money.


Then he doesn't need to spend money on sporting events now does he, if he doesn't want you to enjoy yourself with something you like to do.

He is tight with his money until its something he wants.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

Dexter Morgan said:


> Ah, so basically he is ok with spending money for things HE wants to do, but you can't?
> 
> Hmmm, with this attitude, he WILL object to a post nup because I think he only thinks about himself, as if cheating didn't already prove such.
> 
> ...



Yah, he watches every penny, except for the $80.00 a time for erotic massage. Didn't seem to mind spending that a bit.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Time for a change!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

confused55 said:


> Yah, he watches every penny, except for the $80.00 a time for erotic massage. Didn't seem to mind spending that a bit.


I'm sorry, but this guy should be down on his knees praying you didn't leave his double standard, cheating azz.

I agree, Its time for a change, whatever form that may be from divorcing his unremorseful, "we do what I want and nothing you want" azz, or getting the post nup ready for him to sign.

I agree with others, it may not be totally binding, but seeing whether he'll sign it or not is a good litmus test.

But I don't think you need a test, everything you have described about him says he is still a self-centered, selfish jerk in the wake of being found out as a cheating scumbag.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

You know him and he knows himself better. If he knows in his heart he'll cheat again, he will divorce you now for a larger settlement.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Why not just go for 100%? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Um, people, that thread is near 3 years old, and I'm thinking the OP ain't seeking our advice anymore.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Let this thread rest in peace...


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