# Sometimes I think about leaving my son & husband!



## JessicaD24 (Jul 30, 2008)

Sometimes I think about leaving my son & husband! I do love my son & husband. But, my son is out of control & my husband is never at home. And when I say something to my husband about my son he thinks I'm being silly. That he's 4 & that's how it goes. My son has complete control of my life. I feel great when I'm at work but as soon as I get home all I want to do is sleep. I don't want to play with my son are even talk to my husband. I just want to go straight to bed & sleep my problems away, I guess.
Am I being selfish are is there something wrong with me?


----------



## Mrs. Negestie (Jul 15, 2008)

Your son was not asked to be placed in this world and when you mad that decison to bring him into this world you made the decison to be a parent. And that means there is no you and now you have to focus on that child and the needs of your child.If there is a different problem with your marriage dont pull your son down with it.Yes maybe coming home for work you are sleepy but is there a time or day that you do set aside for your child? And maybe you are not selfish but your statement sounds selfish.There is nothing wrong with you somthing might be wrong with your time management and your focus on who is the parent in the relationship.


----------



## Missy (Jul 11, 2008)

You have definite signs of depression. Nothing to be ashamed of, but you need to seek help for yourself either through counseling or self help books. Your son is most likely acting out to try and get your attention and love as children tend to sense stress. Your husband doesnt see the entire issue because to him he is behaving normally. Everyone needs to feel loved including your son and trying a few new things and getting yourself back to normal will go a long way in how your family is.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

You probably like going to work because you feel productive and in control. when you go home you feel all your effort amounts to nothing. im not a parent but i have three older sisters with kids and they've all told me there are many times they want to run. i dont think you are a bad person or selfish, just overwhelmed and dont have the tools to get your home under control. There are definitely tools out there to help you and you are not alone in this. Try going to counseling, reading parent books, and getting a support group. Your home can also be a satisfying aspect of the work you put into it. you just have to learn the right tools so your efforts produce positive results. and get a support group for your own emotional wellbeing.


----------



## brad (Jul 31, 2008)

You sound depressed for sure. Myself I could never leave my kids even if I left my wife. My love for them is stronger then anything in the world. I dont understand this feeling of people abandoning their children. After all what else is really that important in life?Your child is your ultimate responsibility.

It's one thing to split from your hubby but please reconnect your son. My son is also 4. Yes at times he is completely out of control. That is what being 4 is all about. You need to step up and be the adult and guide him in life. If you dont who does?


----------



## Anaya (Jul 17, 2012)

For me, your post is a cry for help.
I don't think you are medically depressed, and I don't think you are a monster mom because your feelings.

It is obvious that you shall never leave your child or harm him in anyway. This is why you should do everything to make the situation better, and these thoughts will vanish on their own.
They are in my opinion, an expression of your inconscious crying for help, & asking for something to change.

First of all, if you are posting this, it is because you feel bad having these thoughts, thus deep inside you do not want to leave them. 

However these thoughts come to you as a defense mechanism because something is not right:
Is it that your husband is not involved enough in caring for the child, leaving it all to you? Is it that the child is indeed overly infernal because of lack of discipline? Is it that you focus too much on work & exhaust yourself too much & have nothing left to give your family when you get home? etc.

Whatever the source of your problem, you need to identify it & your husband should not brush your feelings off like it has no importance, on the contrary, he should listen & help you feel better.
Take some time as a family doing positive things & fun activities, and do some soul searching. 
Opening your thoughts to others might be the 1st step to recover & finding help.
Good luck to you & your family.


----------



## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

I've had thoughts like this too. Sometimes life can get so overwhelming and it feels like all responsibility is on your shoulders. And in your case (and mine at one point) it feels like your husband isn't helping at all to alleviate the weight off of your shoulders.

When it comes down to it....you probably wouldnt be able to leave them. I wasn't able. If you are able, you'll be back after a day or two I'd imagine. Its a phase and the storm will pass. 

Talk to your husband about this. Pound it into his head about needing more help. Tell him the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It took some time...but enough talking and pounding the issue of helping me in my husbands head..eventually he stepped up.

Being a working and full time mom is a tough job. I have a lot of respect for any full time single working moms out there.

Society was once where the wives stayed home to raise the children, cook and clean and the husbands work. Now a days most wives have to work as well....and not all, but some husbands at least, still have the idea in their head that the kids and the chores are the wives responsibility to care for. When both spouses work, the household responsibility needs to be shared. If its not, eventually you are going to be washed up and physically and mentally exhausted. Tapped out essentially. I can't stress to you enough to talk to your husband over and over again until he gets it. Once he gets it, you will feel so much better and not suffocated anymore by your life.

Good luck!


----------



## This is me (May 4, 2011)

This post is 4 years old.


----------



## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

JessicaD24 said:


> Sometimes I think about leaving my son & husband! I do love my son & husband. But, my son is out of control & my husband is never at home. And when I say something to my husband about my son he thinks I'm being silly. That he's 4 & that's how it goes. My son has complete control of my life. I feel great when I'm at work but as soon as I get home all I want to do is sleep. I don't want to play with my son are even talk to my husband. I just want to go straight to bed & sleep my problems away, I guess.
> Am I being selfish are is there something wrong with me?


I think most parents feel like this at one point or another. I know I have. There are times I'm so frustrated at how out-of-MY-control my life at home is I feel like screw them both and I'm outta here. It comes from the feeling of not being respected or appreciated (for me at least), having to work my butt off both at work and at home and for what? I come home to a kid and husband who won't cooperate with me to help keep the household at a place where everybody can enjoy living there and where things "work". I often wonder why I'm working so hard and not able to equally enjoy the products of my hard work (our, really...but really my husband didn't work for 7 years and I was and still am, mostly, the breadwinner so I kind of feel like everything we have we have mostly because of me). I feel like the house is not mine, it's theirs. 

So, yeah, I love them both but sometimes I just want to take off and get my own place and leave both of them there. I never would do that and I don't feel that way all the time, but it comes with frustration and anxiety over not being in control of things the way I wish I could.


----------

