# Nonreciprocation



## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

Brought up to hubby how I feel about the fact that it has been nearly a year and a half since he has performed oral sex. He has excuses like he is tired or it is too hard for me to climax. I told him I still enjoy sex wether I climax or not and that is no excuse to quit trying. Since conversations with him have not brought about any change I have decided to quit giving him blow jobs and see how he likes it (he gets several a week). I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but I don't know how else to get my point across.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

curlysue321 said:


> Brought up to hubby how I feel about the fact that it has been nearly a year and a half since he has performed oral sex. He has excuses like he is tired or it is too hard for me to climax. I told him I still enjoy sex wether I climax or not and that is no excuse to quit trying. Since conversations with him have not brought about any change I have decided to quit giving him blow jobs and see how he likes it (he gets several a week). I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but I don't know how else to get my point across.


Seems fair to me!


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

That is exactly how I would handle it! But have you had a real conversation about this with him? Pleasure works both ways, tell him it bothers you that he doesn't want to pleasure you in the same way you do him!


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

curlysue321 said:


> Brought up to hubby how I feel about the fact that it has been nearly a year and a half since he has performed oral sex. *He has excuses like he is tired or it is too hard for me to climax. I told him I still enjoy sex wether I climax or not and that is no excuse to quit trying*. Since conversations with him have not brought about any change I have decided to quit giving him blow jobs and see how he likes it (he gets several a week). I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but I don't know how else to get my point across.


Mrs. Curly,

You have every right to expect your hubby to make serious efforts to satisfy you, don't anybody tell you any different.

I wish you good luck, and if your hubby complained, ask him to read this article:

TodaysMenRomanticAffairs: How to Give Your Woman a Mind Blowing Sexual Satisfaction in Bed She Will Always Remember You For

maybe it will be useful to him.


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

I the past 20 years I have orgasmed for a BJ/HJ maybe 10 times. Still like them. Oral does nothing for my wife so I don't go there often. 

I suspect your plan will at least open his eyes. The problem will be getting to the reasons he won't do it. That will be very hard.


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

john_lord_b3 said:


> Mrs. Curly,
> 
> You have every right to expect your hubby to make serious efforts to satisfy you, don't anybody tell you any different.
> 
> ...


That article is not going to be much use to most of us here. It is in very broken English. I tried, just could not handle it.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

King Ding Dong said:


> That article is not going to be much use to most of us here. It is in very broken English. I tried, just could not handle it.


I have to agree... john_lord_b3..... I love your upbeat and helpful posts but this link is barely English AND I am English.... so i know it when I see it!

I quote...

1. Indulge mind blowing foul play always.

:scratchhead: :scratchhead: :scratchhead:

Foul play... hummmm... sounds sexy.... NOT!


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

Maybe if it is run through Google Translate a 2nd time it will make sense. NOT!

I also enjoy some of your posts, but you post a lot of links to articles. Please bother to read them first. You are damaging your reputation.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

curlysue321 said:


> Brought up to hubby how I feel about the fact that it has been nearly a year and a half since he has performed oral sex. He has excuses like he is tired or it is too hard for me to climax. I told him I still enjoy sex wether I climax or not and that is no excuse to quit trying. Since conversations with him have not brought about any change I have decided to quit giving him blow jobs and see how he likes it (he gets several a week). I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but I don't know how else to get my point across.


Are you joking? 

WTF is with men?

Why has it taken you this long to figure out that he deserves NO BJ if he can't, won't, enthusiastically return the favor? 18 months?

Dont make me reach through this computer screen! Absolutely you do not cater to a man who can't put forth minimal effort for you!


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

King Ding Dong said:


> Maybe if it is run through Google Translate a 2nd time it will make sense. NOT!
> 
> I also enjoy some of your posts, but you post a lot of links to articles. Please bother to read them first. You are damaging your reputation.


Thank you for your advice. I did read the article, and despite not being an Englishman, I could actually read and comprehend that.

Nevertheless, I defer to your opinion, and Mrs. Waiwera's.

Dear Mrs. Curly, please disregard the link above.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

It might be better if you ask him why he doesn't return the favor? Is there something that he doesn't like about going south? I have seen woman that do not like things and they wont do that one thing even though they know the other desires it. 

Does he go out of his way doing other things to make up for the fact he doesn't enjoy giving oral sex? Its not always a good idea to withhold one thing for another, its better to talk it through and find out why he wont return the favor. If you stop with BJS and then he stops kissing and then you stop hugging. Who will declare the winner?

Hell get a black lace corset and tall black boots and a riding crop. Then tell him what he will and will not do. Oh wait that's my fantasy. LOL


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

Do you give him BJ's several times a week because you love giving them so you're doing it for you, or because you're doing it for him? 2-3/week sounds like a lot to me. I think that is above average, so I think you are an awesome lover. Your husband must think it is awesome. 

If you cut him off, would you miss it? I think you're being really really really really nice to him, considering there is no reciprocation. He's tired? For 1-1/2 years? That's BS! It takes you too long? Well, that's the way it is for us women. It takes a little bit longer for us. You've probably spent too long giving him BJ's. You spend hours every year giving him BJ's, but he can't spare 20 minutes every few weeks? Although tit for tat isn't a long term strategy, I wouldn't be so eager to give a BJ to a guy who is so damn selfish.

Can you talk with him more about this? If you showered right before, would that help? If you got a brazilian wax job, would that help?

This is way too one-sided and he's so selfish to take and take and take and not give. What a lame lover he is. Maybe you should outright tell him that you wish he was a better lover.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

unfortunatly I believe either you are a good/generous lover or you are a selfish lover....which in my book would put you in the poor lover catagory.

and it seems to me after comunicating that you would or desire some reciprocation and it falls on deaf ears. then most likley it won't change or at very best you will have to always ask for it and it will be done at best half a$$es.

and I for one don't want to have sex/make love to someone who don't really care what I like but will take my generous skills.

instead of not doing for him just say I'm sick of making love to someone who is so selfish and I think we should take a break from sex until you get on the same page.

give it a time limit and then decide if it a deal breaker.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

If I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, and my wife asked the attendant to take off the oxugen mask so she could sit on my face I would die a happy man......Your old man needs to get his ducks in a row......


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