# things that are on my mind



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

It's been a week now since the divorce was finalized. Still no regrets. I'm glad I divorced him. However it does bother me that he seems to get to go on happily with his affair partner while I struggle. He appears to be happy anyways. I'm glad he is out of my life but it does still seem unfair that after everything he did to me, he gets to be "okay" while I'm not okay. By that I mean, I am barely keeping up with my monthly bills while he goes out and has fun. The state has not yet garnished his pay check for child support. I ask him for the money but he refuses to give me the money. Instead he spends the support money for his children on his girlfriend. What is wrong with him!!!!! I realize he is still in his fog but to deny your own child the monetary support they need so you can impress your girlfriend??? What kind of asshat does that!!!

As for me, I am talking to someone but it's not a committed relationship. It's not even to the point where I would call him my boyfriend yet. I would like for it to get to that point. I only speak to my friend maybe 2 or 3xs a week and in the past month and a half, Ive only seen him 4 or 5 times. I really do like this guy alot but I dont know why I am so anxious to start a relationship with him. I should be content just letting things happen as they happen but I find myself thinking about him non-stop, all day every day. I find myself wishing communication and contact between us would improve, but I also ask myself, "what's the hurry?" Ive only been divorced from a 14 year long marriage for 8 days now. Yet, on the other hand, I ask myself if this is fate as I did date him once before in the past. Is this destiny re-uniting us? But I'm not sure if I believe in fate or destiny either. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Is he thinking about me? Even if he doesnt talk to me everyday, is he still thinking of me? And will things pick up between us in time? How much time should I give things? Ive been thinking about inviting him to ride my horses with me. Would that be a good idea?

Anyways, these are some things on my mind.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

YouTube - ‪Life is Sweet Live‬‏


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I am sorry for your situation, Apple... AND glad you'r emoving on. I really am. My simple input for you is take it slow, but don't go out of your way to speed anything up nor to slow anything down. Let life happen, and life happening will take your focus off the ex-H activities. He's gonna do what he's gonna do. Focus on what happens with you, not with him.

When I got divorced after my first marriage, I too was very quick to jump into any relationship that offered solace, a listening ear, an escape from the remaining pain, a warm body, or just a general distraction. Plenty of women were around. I was frankly glad to have them as distractions, but deeply interested in no one. Not because of them, but because of me. I was brooding, still. 

My current wife, whom I met within all of this tumultuous period occurring weeks and months *before* my divorce even became final, parted the clouds for me. I was fairly quickly smitten and clear in my own mind about my desire to spend more and more time with her. So rapidly, I did. I elimated all other options. We were great together. Just great.

Less than 2 years later, we got married. Had a child together. Wonderful life being built.

10 years later, she cheated on me, like my first wife did.

I say give it time, simply _let_ things happen, do not force a thing, but do not be afraid to have a real relationship. Just do not try to make that relationship anything it isn't, the person anything they really aren't, nor a substitute for what you need. Just let it "be"... whatever it is. And accept it for what it is. Not necessarily a LTR, or a real romance, or even a frioendship that deepens. Just enjoy ONLY what it is, and let that be enough. For now. Because right now, 'enough' can really be enough as you continue to heal, and frankly I think 'enough' can be simply "enough to let you forget about whatever the ex-H is doing right now".

I hope you find peace & happiness.


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## baseballmom (May 1, 2011)

I am wondering the same thing Apple. Why is it that they can move on and be happy so quickly while we are the ones left picking up the pieces. For me just today I am wondering why my stbxh was the one that wanted the divorce in the first place but why is it that I'm the one that is doing all the work?? I'm the one that filed (even though I wanted to so I could be in the drivers seat), I'm the one having to pack our apartment up so we can move out and do everything that involves the whole moving process so our kids and myself can move across the country to go back home to where all our family is at. It just pisses me off that he wanted this and I'm doing all the damn work!!! On top of still finishing out my last two weeks at work and of course taking care of our kids because you know I don't ever get a break since he doesn't come home to help out! It just frustrates me so much!!


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Apple! Hi girl! 

Hope things turn around for you soon. And you WILL get through this next hurdle, too!

Btw....I missed the word "asshat". My new favorite!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

apple i still think about how H can sit as his sisters house, i tried calling u, he stood up his kids tonight cuz i didnt answe a txt asking whats ur problem, i had to lie to my son and say daddy got stuck at work, i dont get it either. as with your friend, like i told ya let it ride, dont be in a hurry bbgirl.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Apple! Hi girl!
> 
> Hope things turn around for you soon. And you WILL get through this next hurdle, too!
> 
> ...


ha ha ha ha yes, my friends and I have all started referring to him as "Asshat"...."Asshat Tardbucket" is his new full name, lolololol Asshat. Its just fun to say


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

paramore said:


> apple i still think about how H can sit as his sisters house, i tried calling u, he stood up his kids tonight cuz i didnt answe a txt asking whats ur problem, i had to lie to my son and say daddy got stuck at work, i dont get it either. as with your friend, like i told ya let it ride, dont be in a hurry bbgirl.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sorry, I did get your call but I was on important call on the other line. I am off work tomorrow at 2:30pm, I can call you after that or you can call me any time after that. 

He stood up his kids because you didnt answer a text? What an Asshat.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

baseballmom said:


> I am wondering the same thing Apple. Why is it that they can move on and be happy so quickly while we are the ones left picking up the pieces. For me just today I am wondering why my stbxh was the one that wanted the divorce in the first place but why is it that I'm the one that is doing all the work?? I'm the one that filed (even though I wanted to so I could be in the drivers seat), I'm the one having to pack our apartment up so we can move out and do everything that involves the whole moving process so our kids and myself can move across the country to go back home to where all our family is at. It just pisses me off that he wanted this and I'm doing all the damn work!!! On top of still finishing out my last two weeks at work and of course taking care of our kids because you know I don't ever get a break since he doesn't come home to help out! It just frustrates me so much!!


I did all the work too with my divorce. I filled out all the papers, I separated all our finances and debts, I paid the court filing fees, I filed the divorce with the court, I did it all. The only thing he had to do was show up. Yep, mine was the one who initially wanted the D, but it was I who did ALL the work. He gets to run around with the one he cheated on me with and I'm alone every night.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

2xloser said:


> I am sorry for your situation, Apple... AND glad you'r emoving on. I really am. My simple input for you is take it slow, but don't go out of your way to speed anything up nor to slow anything down. Let life happen, and life happening will take your focus off the ex-H activities. He's gonna do what he's gonna do. Focus on what happens with you, not with him.
> 
> When I got divorced after my first marriage, I too was very quick to jump into any relationship that offered solace, a listening ear, an escape from the remaining pain, a warm body, or just a general distraction. Plenty of women were around. I was frankly glad to have them as distractions, but deeply interested in no one. Not because of them, but because of me. I was brooding, still.
> 
> ...


Maybe its for the long term good that my friend is taking things slow cuz I know I'd be willing to jump right into a relationship now. I do keep reminding myself daily that slow is best, to have patience and in time, things will simply fall into place. Thanks for your words.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

ing said:


> YouTube - ‪Life is Sweet Live‬‏


Thank you Ing. This made me smile. And tear up a bit too.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Thank you Ing. This made me smile. And tear up a bit too.


The punchline is that the link was sent to me by my GF. We were coming back from a few days away and I literally choked up in the car. She just selected music while I fell apart for half an hour. 
The advantage of your GF having been betrayed before. Twice! 
Go for it my friend. Don't be too afraid. You deserve it


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Asshat - Love it


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Withdrawn because I was in a funk today and my post was counter productive, my apologies. Congrats on the new phase of your life and good luck. Be careful entering a new relationship, right now the world is your oyster.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I find myself wishing communication and contact between us would improve, but I also ask myself, "what's the hurry?" Ive only been divorced from a 14 year long marriage for 8 days now.


No need to rush. Like you said, you've barely been divorced a week. Take it slow. I'm two months out and still nowhere near even considering "dating." It seems so fake to me. After going through the trauma of a divorce, my experience has been totally different. I can't imagine just jumping into dating someone new or seeing them in a romantic sense so quickly after ending a relationship, especially a long-term one. 

If you're receptive to it, go forward but do it cautiously and slowly. 



baseballmom said:


> I am wondering the same thing Apple. Why is it that they can move on and be happy so quickly while we are the ones left picking up the pieces.


It's because the wayward doesn't have the same emotional attachment that the left behind spouse does. Usually the wayward moved on emotionally a long time before they even announce they want out. If the wayward is actively involved with someone they cheated with, 9 out of 10 times, they have either moved on fully or haven't even started dealing with the breakdown of hte marriage yet. It doesn't hit them until later. They see the OW/OM as a crutch in a way.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> It's because the wayward doesn't have the same emotional attachment that the left behind spouse does. Usually the wayward moved on emotionally a long time before they even announce they want out.


:iagree: Yes! The good news is, you will 'catch up' at some point and get yourself to that place, too. On your own time. I also agree, don't be afraid. Just keep your own post-D emotions in check for your own protection. Good luck, enjoy it. Brighter days are ahead...


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> No need to rush. Like you said, you've barely been divorced a week. Take it slow. I'm two months out and still nowhere near even considering "dating." It seems so fake to me. After going through the trauma of a divorce, my experience has been totally different. I can't imagine just jumping into dating someone new or seeing them in a romantic sense so quickly after ending a relationship, especially a long-term one.
> 
> If you're receptive to it, go forward but do it cautiously and slowly.
> 
> ...


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

2xloser said:


> :iagree: Yes! The good news is, you will 'catch up' at some point and get yourself to that place, too. On your own time. I also agree, don't be afraid. Just keep your own post-D emotions in check for your own protection. Good luck, enjoy it. Brighter days are ahead...


maybe I need a vacation....get away from where I am and take time to relax and have a drink, on some beach...somewhere.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Dont' text him again. Let him contact you. And then you can ask him where he sees this going. 

He probably realizes you have been through something major and hopefully wants to respect that you are still recovering from that.

I do believe everything happens for a reason. I also believe you are very vulnerable right now due to what just happened in your life. Go slow. No need to rush straight into another relationship. It sounds like you want this to be a relationship immediately and it would be wise to take it slower, IMO. If it's meant to be, it will be. If not, no loss.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Dont' text him again. Let him contact you. And then you can ask him where he sees this going.
> 
> He probably realizes you have been through something major and hopefully wants to respect that you are still recovering from that.
> 
> I do believe everything happens for a reason. I also believe you are very vulnerable right now due to what just happened in your life. Go slow. No need to rush straight into another relationship. It sounds like you want this to be a relationship immediately and it would be wise to take it slower, IMO. If it's meant to be, it will be. If not, no loss.


Thanks JB. I am sitting here, very deep in thought, looking deep within myself for what I need to do, trying to find an answer.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Treat yourself to something fabulous this weekend. Get a mani/pedi!


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Hopefully jb is right -- he's smart enough to be respectful and give you the space you need (bit don't really want) to sort through your emotions, and coincidentally taking the advice posted here -- take it slow, let it happen, not force it. This is good; you should be appreciative and let it happen that way for now.

It's also got the classic result of him playing it cool, letting you grow more interested... which you're quite vulnerable to right now, with a void to fill. Don't play into that, for your own sake/protection. Don't over-think it; you can't think a relationship into existence if he's not on the same page. I'm sure you've learned from your ex-H experience and all the forum counsel here that communication and hinesty are key to relationships. As this grows (or doesn't), you'll get to a point where you can air your thoughts and simply ask. That day will be a great step forward for you. 

Happy thoughts!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

my exH and I are still friends on facebook. Last night I saw he added his other woman as a friend. Seeing that gave me that I going to throw up feeling. I keep telling myself this no longer matters to me because I divorced him for his many episodes of infidelity. Well, her FB wall is open so I was reading it. Her exboyfriend (who she has apparently been trying to get back together with but he wouldnt because she refused to end contact with my now exH, because she cheated on her BF with my husband) made a comment on her new friendship with my ex about how he would never trust her nor ever take her back. I dont know if her exBF knows that she was messing with a married man or not. I've thought about sending him a message telling him but since my husband and I are now divorced, should I just let it all go? 

I couldnt sleep last night. It made me feel sick. I dont want my ex back. Not now, not ever. But reading her open FB wall showed me just how much my ex chased and pursued her all the while telling me he loves me, making me believe we had a future together.It's really upsetting how he can lie to anyone at any time without even thinking twice about it.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Apple,

He's an Asshat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

I'd probably send the guy a quick message to say you were looking for him prior to finalizing your divorce, but have noticed that he's no longer with OW. Let him know that you're willing to share what youve learned if he's interested and leave it at that. You don't want to upset him with details if he's truly moved on, but you want him to be aware that you'll be honest if he's interested.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I dont know if her exBF knows that she was messing with a married man or not. I've thought about sending him a message telling him but since my husband and I are now divorced, should I just let it all go?


Apple...I would write the ex-boyf an email and tell him everything. Tell him how long you suspect the A has been happening, what you know, of their outings with your kids and to the movies, and hwo you found her both down the street from your house as well as waiting for your hub in your driveway. He deserves the truth. Cause YOU KNOW she only told him the least hurtful things. 

I would also block and delete your ex-H off facebook. You guys are over and right now your focus should be co-parenting w/ him ONLY. He does not deserve another moment of your time. His sidepiece will find out in time the kind of man he is. You said he'd cheated several times in the past so my guess is he will not change.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Apple,
> 
> He's an Asshat.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:rofl: Thanks for making me LOL literally. I cracked up outloud


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Apple...I would write the ex-boyf an email and tell him everything. Tell him how long you suspect the A has been happening, what you know, of their outings with your kids and to the movies, and hwo you found her both down the street from your house as well as waiting for your hub in your driveway. He deserves the truth. Cause YOU KNOW she only told him the least hurtful things.
> 
> I would also block and delete your ex-H off facebook. You guys are over and right now your focus should be co-parenting w/ him ONLY. He does not deserve another moment of your time. His sidepiece will find out in time the kind of man he is. You said he'd cheated several times in the past so my guess is he will not change.


Yes, he is a serial cheater and no, he wont change. The thing that has me scratching my head is that when I emailed her myself asking her to stay away from my husband (when I was first learning of their relationship) she would tell me how sorry she was and how she doesnt want my H but she wants her exBF back. Her ex wouldnt take her back because she wouldnt end contact my now exH and she couldnt understand why her BF was upset? I believe she cheated on this guy with my husband but I do not know if this guy knows that this was a married man she was with. 
Do you think then I should tell him or at the least offer the info to him if he wants it?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's because she is a liar. Stop trying to rationalize what she was saying to you. SHe knew full well your husband was married and didn't get a f which is why she was in your MARITAL driveway waiting for your husband. She and your husband are of the same ilk. They have a lot in common in the sense they can't tell the truth to save their own lives, even when confronted with it. Truly, she has been a blessing in disguise for you. You got him off your hands and now she can deal with him.

I would TELL the boyfriend guy straight up everything I wrote above. He has a right to know the truth. For all you know she could still be stringing him alon gand telling him what he wants to hear. It sounds like some cracks in her stories are being exposed (from his post on FB) so why not just give him the gift of the truth. Tell him she had an affair with your husband which played a part in your divorce and tell him everything else you know.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> It's because she is a liar. Stop trying to rationalize what she was saying to you. SHe knew full well your husband was married and didn't get a f which is why she was in your MARITAL driveway waiting for your husband. She and your husband are of the same ilk. They have a lot in common in the sense they can't tell the truth to save their own lives, even when confronted with it. Truly, she has been a blessing in disguise for you. You got him off your hands and now she can deal with him.
> 
> I would TELL the boyfriend guy straight up everything I wrote above. He has a right to know the truth. For all you know she could still be stringing him alon gand telling him what he wants to hear. It sounds like some cracks in her stories are being exposed (from his post on FB) so why not just give him the gift of the truth. Tell him she had an affair with your husband which played a part in your divorce and tell him everything else you know.


I sent her old BF an email. I told him that she was the other woman in my marriage and how she refused to end contact with my ex even though I had asked her to because a family was on the line. I told him if he wanted any more info to let me know. I would tell him what I know.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

AD, Listen to JB, and 2xloser!!! GO SLOW !!!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

sammy3 said:


> AD, Listen to JB, and 2xloser!!! GO SLOW !!!


I am going slow. That's why I changed my signature to say what it does, to be my own reminder


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

> I couldnt sleep last night. It made me feel sick. I dont want my ex back. Not now, not ever. But reading her open FB wall showed me just how much my ex chased and pursued her all the while telling me he loves me, making me believe we had a future together.It's really upsetting how he can lie to anyone at any time without even thinking twice about it.


Apple, I am also thinking back over the past years even to things that were signs that he was not really 'with me' at all and these thoughts are torturing me at times, the deceipt is so hurtful, it is like every day brins a new revelation.

I also agree with Jellybeans in an earlier post, that they have moved on so quickly as they had checked out of the marriage emotionally some time ago-also a true but hurtful thought. I just don't think they will deal with the marriage breakdown or suffer in to the dgree we do. They seem to have the ability to do what ever they need to do to make themselves feel good about themselves, and take away for them to reflect on their bad behaviour and change.

Do take it steady with your new friend Apple. Your signature is a good reminder. Try not to have him on your mind all of the time, if it does not work out you will be back to square one, and feeling hopeless again. I have followed your story, and you have been a very strong woman throughout your divorce and I truly hope you findhappiness.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

UPDATING: I sent the exBF of the ow an email. It took several hours but he responded back saying he had suspicions about things and wanted to talk to me and he sent me his number. I called him and upon talking, we discovered we lived a mere few blocks apart from each other so I invited him over to my house where we could talk in person. It was a beautiful day so we sat outside on my back patio. We talked for about 5 hours. Both my exH and this ow are 2 very dirty people. She tells me him she loves him (the BF) and she wants to be with him but she is with my ex on the side. The BF said that at one point my ex threatened him that if he didnt leave her alone he would kick his ass because she belonged to him now (said this while still married to me and while she was still involved with her BF) I also found out about certain dates where I had believed my ex to have been at work for the day only to be out on dates with her. I also found out that my ex had a sexual harassment investigation against both him and this ow at the workplace where they began their affair. They both lied. They had to sign a paper stating that they were never involved with each other sexually and they both lied. I would think that would be perjury, wouldnt it? My ex was fired in the end for a different reason and she kept her job. Her exBF was telling me that he knew about my exH and how he was a big issue between him and her. The exBF asked her many times to cut contact with my exH but she always refused and for every text and phone call from my exH she received, she always had a cover story and like many of us here, he wanted to believe her so he let things slide for a long time. Last weekend my exH spent the night with her. I mentioned that to him in my email to him. This he did not know about. He said he had a suspicion he did and that my letter to him confirmed it. He had asked her about and she lied to him. When he confronted her on this time, she got very defensive and called it none of his business.
As she found out that I was talking with her exBF, she began making several accusations including that he and I were sleeping together (which I assure everyone is NOT true) and how I was just upset that "I lost" and wanted to take my misery out on everyone else. And of course, she had to rush off to tell my exH how I was speaking with her exBF who called me and told me that I had no business being around this guy because he was a drunk and he was not to be allowed at my house around the kids. His talk to me was very hateful, very bitter and filled with hate towards this man. My exH also told me that "people in glass houses shouldnt throw stones" I'm still trying to figure that one out. Far as I know, that saying means that if you are doing something bad, you shouldnt call out someone else for doing the same thing as you are. I asked him to explain himself on what he meant by that and all he said was "maybe someday your slow brain will catch up" and then he hung up on me.
Upon the end of our very long talk, he, of course, was very upset. He seemed as if he really loved her and wanted a life with her but she would not end contact with my ex. I felt bad for him. I feel that she enjoyed playing both her exBF and my exH against each other for her affection. She is a very twisted person.
In the end, my exH will do to her what he did to me and what he has to done all other women he has ever had a relationship with. He will leave her for someone else.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

reindeer said:


> Apple, I am also thinking back over the past years even to things that were signs that he was not really 'with me' at all and these thoughts are torturing me at times, the deceipt is so hurtful, it is like every day brins a new revelation.
> 
> I also agree with Jellybeans in an earlier post, that they have moved on so quickly as they had checked out of the marriage emotionally some time ago-also a true but hurtful thought. I just don't think they will deal with the marriage breakdown or suffer in to the dgree we do. They seem to have the ability to do what ever they need to do to make themselves feel good about themselves, and take away for them to reflect on their bad behaviour and change.
> 
> Do take it steady with your new friend Apple. Your signature is a good reminder. Try not to have him on your mind all of the time, if it does not work out you will be back to square one, and feeling hopeless again. I have followed your story, and you have been a very strong woman throughout your divorce and I truly hope you findhappiness.


Thank you Reindeer. I am happy with my new friend. I did spend the night with him over the weekend and we had a very enjoyable time together. Something happened between us and I felt we really connected. I do have good feelings about our future. I am taking it slow, one day at a time. I know with patience, it will all come together naturally.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> UPDATING: I sent the exBF of the ow an email. It took several hours but he responded back saying he had suspicions about things and wanted to talk to me and he sent me his number. I called him and upon talking, we discovered we lived a mere few blocks apart from each other so I invited him over to my house where we could talk in person. It was a beautiful day so we sat outside on my back patio. We talked for about 5 hours. Both my exH and this ow are 2 very dirty people. She tells me him she loves him (the BF) and she wants to be with him but she is with my ex on the side. The BF said that at one point my ex threatened him that if he didnt leave her alone he would kick his ass because she belonged to him now (said this while still married to me and while she was still involved with her BF) I also found out about certain dates where I had believed my ex to have been at work for the day only to be out on dates with her. I also found out that my ex had a sexual harassment investigation against both him and this ow at the workplace where they began their affair. They both lied. They had to sign a paper stating that they were never involved with each other sexually and they both lied. I would think that would be perjury, wouldnt it? My ex was fired in the end for a different reason and she kept her job. Her exBF was telling me that he knew about my exH and how he was a big issue between him and her. The exBF asked her many times to cut contact with my exH but she always refused and for every text and phone call from my exH she received, she always had a cover story and like many of us here, he wanted to believe her so he let things slide for a long time. Last weekend my exH spent the night with her. I mentioned that to him in my email to him. This he did not know about. He said he had a suspicion he did and that my letter to him confirmed it. He had asked her about and she lied to him. When he confronted her on this time, she got very defensive and called it none of his business.
> As she found out that I was talking with her exBF, she began making several accusations including that he and I were sleeping together (which I assure everyone is NOT true) and how I was just upset that "I lost" and wanted to take my misery out on everyone else. And of course, she had to rush off to tell my exH how I was speaking with her exBF who called me and told me that I had no business being around this guy because he was a drunk and he was not to be allowed at my house around the kids. His talk to me was very hateful, very bitter and filled with hate towards this man. My exH also told me that "people in glass houses shouldnt throw stones" I'm still trying to figure that one out. Far as I know, that saying means that if you are doing something bad, you shouldnt call out someone else for doing the same thing as you are. I asked him to explain himself on what he meant by that and all he said was "maybe someday your slow brain will catch up" and then he hung up on me.
> Upon the end of our very long talk, he, of course, was very upset. He seemed as if he really loved her and wanted a life with her but she would not end contact with my ex. I felt bad for him. I feel that she enjoyed playing both her exBF and my exH against each other for her affection. She is a very twisted person.
> In the end, my exH will do to her what he did to me and what he has to done all other women he has ever had a relationship with. He will leave her for someone else.


MORE: woke up this morning feeling different. I'm not sure if I did the right thing last night or not but I do know that if someone was doing me wrong, I would want to know. I met my exH at a mutual location today so he could have his visitation with his daughter today. He came up to my car, helped our daughter out of the car, he then gave me a very dirty look and slammed my car door shut. I dont even know this man anymore. He is evil. I was not the one who cheated or betrayed the family yet I get the dirty treatment from him. 
The xBF was telling me that my exH is borderline stalker on the ow. She would be out on dates with her BF and he would call her and text her several times interrupting their date and she always had excuses to take the calls. At one time when she was out on a date with her exBF, my exH drove all over the city (population of 50,000 to give you an idea of the size of the city) looking for her car to find out where she was because she was not answering her phone that time. I've never seen him this way. Not even with me was he this way. He never seemed concerned about what I did or any of my interest but he is obsessed with her, completely obsessed with her. He wants to know where she is 24/7, who she is with, what her plans for the day are. He was actually banned from going into her work because he spent so much time there she couldnt get her work done and he was in the way of other customers. This is not a healthy relationship.
Another thing the xBF told me was that she was telling him that my exH told her he was ready to leave his whole family, even the children if that's what she wanted, just so he could be with her. Imagine my shock. He was ready to walk totally out of his own children's lives for this woman. WTF!!!!!
I found out that the affair was much deeper than I ever knew. I found out my exH had a secret FB account I never knew about where he and her "were in a relationship" together." and they would exchange mushy gushy stick-your-finger-down-your-throat and vomit type of lovey messages to each other.
And when I myself was emailing her before when I first discovered their romps and asked her to please leave him alone, I told her about the other woman from the same workplace my exH was also screwing. The xBF was telling me that this really upset her and she couldnt believe that my husband would cheat on her like that. WTF again!!!!! Umm, hello!!!! Any brains in that head of yours? This is a married man you are involved with and you're upset that he cheated on you with someone other than his own wife? Some people I will never understand. 
The same thing happened to her. Her own exH was also a serial cheater. They were married 10 years and he had several affairs. She knows what this pain feels like. How in the world do you inflcited that same treatment on someone else when you know first hand what its like?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> The xBF was telling me that my exH is borderline stalker on the ow. She would be out on dates with her BF and he would call her and text her several times interrupting their date and she always had excuses to take the calls. At one time when she was out on a date with her exBF, my exH drove all over the city (population of 50,000 to give you an idea of the size of the city) looking for her car to find out where she was because she was not answering her phone that time.
> 
> he is obsessed with her, completely obsessed with her. He wants to know where she is 24/7, who she is with, what her plans for the day are. He was actually banned from going into her work because he spent so much time there she couldnt get her work done and he was in the way of other customers. This is not a healthy relationship.



When this falls apart, it's going to be *EPIC*! 


AppleDucklings said:


> And when I myself was emailing her before when I first discovered their romps and asked her to please leave him alone, I told her about the other woman from the same workplace my exH was also screwing. The xBF was telling me that this really upset her and she couldnt believe that my husband would cheat on her like that.


They don't trust eachother AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:


You did the right thing, AD. Though it sucked to find out more stuff, you and ex-boyf can get a better sense of closure after knowing the truth and comparing notes.

Was he cute? :lol:


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> When this falls apart, it's going to be *EPIC*!
> 
> 
> They don't trust eachother AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:
> ...


 He wasnt bad, honestly  
She was texting him the entire time we were talking last night. (he had told her I had emailed him. Bet she didnt see that one coming, lol) She was freaking out! She kept saying things about me like I was a liar, I was just upset that I "had lost", I was unstable, I was miserable and wanted everyone else to be miserable too, blah blah blah blah. He should not believe anything I am saying because I am sour over what happened and I just need to get over it already. Then she went from saying those things about me to accusing him of never being there for her, he never paid her enough attention, blah blah blah blah, saying if only he this or if only he that then she would not have needed the OM (my exH)
Of course he knew everything I told him was truth because it coincided with everything he knew and as we were able to put it all together, it all fit perfectly. I dont know if he is done with her, he seems to be head over heels and he has allowed her to walk all over him. I'm not sure if he's yet to the point where he can tell her to go take a long walk off a short pier. He was still taking her out knowing full well she was involved with OM.
And yes, this will be epic when it all goes up in smoke. I will have myself the biggest mother effing bowl of popcorn you've ever seen and I will sit back, kick up my feet and enjoy the show. When it does go boom, is this where he begs me for another chance and I get to say not a fat rats ass chance in hell?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> He wasnt bad, honestly
> She was texting him the entire time we were talking last night. (he had told her I had emailed him. Bet she didnt see that one coming, lol) She was freaking out! She kept saying things about me like I was a liar, I was just upset that I "had lost", I was unstable, I was miserable and wanted everyone else to be miserable too, blah blah blah blah. He should not believe anything I am saying because I am sour over what happened and I just need to get over it already. _Then she went from saying those things about me to accusing him of never being there for her_, he never paid her enough attention, blah blah blah blah, saying if only he this or if only he that then she would not have needed the OM (my exH)


It's funny to watch the ****roach shrivel up. She can't even own what she did. Just like your ex. What a coward. 



AppleDucklings said:


> :And yes, this will be epic when it all goes up in smoke. I will have myself the biggest mother effing bowl of popcorn you've ever seen and I will sit back, kick up my feet and enjoy the show.


I will be right next to you eating popcorn. :smthumbup:



AppleDucklings said:


> When it does go boom, is this where he begs me for another chance and I get to say not a fat rats ass chance in hell?


LOL. Not sure if I told you, but this happened to my sister. Her dude (D) left her for a married woman (he was very good friends w/ MM's husband-it's how they all knew eachother). My sis had just had their daughter not too long before when he hit her with the ILYBINILWY and ran off with MM. MM left behind her own kids with her husband to run off with D. MM divorced her H and married D--they had two kids together. All that time, D took the pvssy way out and barely called his daughter (my niece--my sis' baby they had together). Fast forward some years... (a few months ago, actually) and guess what happens?? MM up and left him for another guy! Left that set of kids behind too! He blows up my sister's phone allllllllllll the time now asking for forgiveness, saying how wrong he was, he and she woulda been happier together, he made the biggest mistake of his life and how he feels so sorry/stupid/karma.

So... yeah. :rofl:


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> The xBF was telling me that my exH is borderline stalker on the ow. She would be out on dates with her BF and he would call her and text her several times interrupting their date and she always had excuses to take the calls. At one time when she was out on a date with her exBF, my exH drove all over the city (population of 50,000 to give you an idea of the size of the city) looking for her car to find out where she was because she was not answering her phone that time...
> but he is obsessed with her, completely obsessed with her. He wants to know where she is 24/7, who she is with, what her plans for the day are. He was actually banned from going into her work because he spent so much time there she couldnt get her work done and he was in the way of other customers. This is not a healthy relationship.


And here we have it. Your ExH no longer has you to fall back on. The only thing he has is her, and now he is s**/ scared of losing her. He doesn't seem to *Trust* her! Shock, horror!
He is now feeling what a relationship built on deceit actually is. He knows she has a BF and probably goes home and gets a good ypippeekiay off him.
To add that he's p****/ that you spoke to the OW BF shows that he's also scared that the OW will go NC with your ExH and he'll be left outside alone.
Well done Apple. I applaud you for standing up for yourself.
Best wishes for the future
N-B :smthumbup:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> He doesn't seem to *Trust* her! Shock, horror!
> 
> He is now feeling what a relationship built on deceit actually is.
> 
> *To add that he's p**** *


Everybody on TAM is cracking me up hard today! :rofl::rofl:


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Out of all of the DS's in this forum, I'd put money on yours to be one who comes back on his knees and crying. I expect pictures. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> I expect pictures.


And the Benny Hill theme tune! :smthumbup:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

My bet is OW cheats on your exH. And it will be with more than one person. :lol:


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> And it will be with more than one person. :lol:


And released on adult DVD and pay-per-pull intenet porn sites


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Bwahahahaha!

And when he confronts her after finding out (cause she won't tell him, he will find out all on his own) she is going to spitefully look at him and say "SO WHAT?!"


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> Out of all of the DS's in this forum, I'd put money on yours to be one who comes back on his knees and crying. I expect pictures.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


pictures of my boot up his ass as I'm kicking back to the street


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Bwahahahaha!
> 
> And when he confronts her after finding out (cause she won't tell him, he will find out all on his own) she is going to spitefully look at him and say "SO WHAT?!"


In a way, she was already cheating on him. She was still with her BF while with my husband. They both entered the relationship involved with other people. They dont trust either. This is going to go boom big time.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> And here we have it. Your ExH no longer has you to fall back on. The only thing he has is her, and now he is s**/ scared of losing her. He doesn't seem to *Trust* her! Shock, horror!
> He is now feeling what a relationship built on deceit actually is. He knows she has a BF and probably goes home and gets a good ypippeekiay off him.
> To add that he's p****/ that you spoke to the OW BF shows that he's also scared that the OW will go NC with your ExH and he'll be left outside alone.
> Well done Apple. I applaud you for standing up for yourself.
> ...


why should it matter to him if I speak to her exBF? He did get pissed about it though. He even told me that I was not allowed to have him at my house anymore (LOL at trying to tell me what I can and cannot do in my own house) This morning when he took our daughter for his visit, he gave me the dirtiest, nastiest look but then like 3 hours later he texted me to see if he could come by my work because our daughter wanted to see me. Huh??? Why does he flip flop so much?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Haha your ex is a lunatic. 

I would NOT respond to him about any of this. 

It's YOUR house now and he can kiss your A$$. Don't tell him that. WHen he rants off about you in texts and calling you, DO NOT ANSWER. If he happens to get you on the phone and goes off, tell him, 'If you aren't calling to talk to me about our children, then I have nothing else to say to you. Goodbye" 

CLICK!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

He is a looney. He can go from seemingly very nice to pure evil back to being very nice within a very short amount of time. I dont understand whats wrong with him.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Why on Earth are you still friends on FB with this lying urchin?! Block him. 

And yeah, those that will cheat with you will cheat on you. Small wonder neither of these [email protected] waffles trust each other. Hey, there's a new name for him and her!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Why on Earth are you still friends on FB with this lying urchin?! Block him.
> 
> And yeah, those that will cheat with you will cheat on you. Small wonder neither of these [email protected] waffles trust each other. Hey, there's a new name for him and her!


[email protected] WAFFLES!!!!! Baaah hahahahahahahaha I LOVE IT!!!! :rofl:

and as of last night we are no longer friends on FB. He unfriended me and then blocked me. I'm so hurt. Not.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> [email protected] WAFFLES!!!!! Baaah hahahahahahahaha I LOVE IT!!!! :rofl:
> 
> and as of last night we are no longer friends on FB. He unfriended me and then blocked me. I'm so hurt. Not.


Remember what I said, a rare gem. 
Your ex is about as common as manure and those two are about as common as herpes.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Remember what I said, a rare gem.
> Your ex is about as common as manure and those two are about as common as herpes.


Oh thank you brighteyes. You make me smile  
And I am in the beginnings of a new relationship that I feel very good about. It is going slow still but that's okay. By going slow we can build a good, solid foundation.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> Oh thank you brighteyes. You make me smile
> And I am in the beginnings of a new relationship that I feel very good about. It is going slow still but that's okay. By going slow we can build a good, solid foundation.


So chin up, shoulders back, chest forward, you will survive this. You are witty and amazing. You WILL get through this and someday when you least expect it, that love you asked about being possible will come your way. 
Rare gems don't stay undiscovered for long. Trust me on this.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I got an email from my exH's OW. Here it is...should I respond or ignore it?
I just wanted to say thank u for ****ing up everything I worked for in the last four months. Promise rings... I proposed... I tattooed his initials on my leg... I begged and begged for another chance. Finally got him to talk about giving me one and u ruin it all in one night with Ur assumptions!! I haven't been with (my exH) since Feb. Most of the time I spent talking to him was about (her exBF). I'm sorry Ur bad marriage ended. Your the one dating someone already (my exH) isn't. I blocked him from everything but my phone... I forgot about MySpace cuz I'm rarely ever on. He left u knowing I proposed to (her exBF) and wanted to marry him. I've been completely faithful to (her exBF) even though he kept lying to me about breaking up with (his exGF). I was at his house everyday she wasn't. Now the only person I have left that wants me is (my exH). So think you... your mission has been accomplished!! You ruined my life too!! Hope u feel better!!! I told (my exH) over and over I wanted (her exBF) so stop blaming me for Ur divorce...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

DO NOT RESPOND. She is baiting u. Her stupid comment about ur 'bad marriage' and how exh is the only one who is left to want her was said to incite you. NO RESPONDING OK??? Its gonna drive her nuts if you don't write back. So DON'T do it. Seems all of her lies and BS are finally catching. Up to her. LOL.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> DO NOT RESPOND. She is baiting u. Her stupid comment about ur 'bad marriage' and how exh is the only one who is left to want her was said to incite you. NO RESPONDING OK??? Its gonna drive her nuts if you don't write back. So DON'T do it. Seems all of her lies and BS are finally catching. Up to her. LOL.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have not responded back. Yes, a part of me wanted to but I think you are right. From the rumor mill tonight I heard my exH proposed to her, or offered her a proposal of marriage. He said that he wanted to date her then in a year move in together then in another year, marry her and even get his vasectomy reversed so they could have a baby together.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

You could respond in with a non-sequitur:

Lolz. My cat is stealing your internets

That usually confuses people. And she seems easily confused.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ LOL. That's funny.

Don't respond. She doesn't even deserve a comment back. Isn't even worthy of a response. You already know what a hag she is cause when you called her out on having an affair with your husband, she denied it to you--not only that but she is saying how she hasn't been involved with your exH since Feb which we all know isn't f-cking true since she was waiting for him down the street and oh, my favorite, IN YOUR DRIVEWAY (Geez-wth!) not too long ago--even after you have called her out. She had zero respect for your marriage, for you, has zero respect for your exH or her exBoyf (since she STILL can't own the truth).

Silence in cases like these are GOLDEN. She will feel MORE LAME if you don't respond, trust me. If you write back, she is only goign to feel like she was validated in her thinking and write back something else b-tchy. 

You knwo the truth. The truth is she had an affair with your exH knowing full well he was married to you, and carried it on after you exposed that you knew...and she has cheated on her exBoyf. 

Don't feed the ****roach a crumb.

NO WORDS to her, ok??? 

All of her lies are coming out and she is starting to see what a clusterf-ck she is in. 

It's awesome.



Is your exH still living in the crowded place he rented?

How are your kids doing?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ya know, I was thinking it'd be funny if you forwarded that email to your exH so he could see how much she claims she doesnt' want him and hwo she denies being with him since Feb and how she longs for the exboyf. LOL.

Maybe you could forward it to him and put FYI in the subject heading & don't write anything else. 

Then he'll read it and she'll have to explain more sh-t to him! LOL. He'll resent her exboyf tattoo everytime he looks at her and he'll find out about the rings/promise rings & how she wants exboyf and not your exh (so she claims).

HA
HA
HA



But whatever you do, don't respond to her.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I blocked her from being able to contact me again but I do hope she is squirming. She only did this to herself, not anyone else. Time to take responsibility for your own actions.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Ya know, I was thinking it'd be funny if you forwarded that email to your exH so he could see how much she claims she doesnt' want him and hwo she denies being with him since Feb and how she longs for the exboyf. LOL.
> 
> Maybe you could forward it to him and put FYI in the subject heading & don't write anything else.
> 
> ...


Oh, my exH already knows all this. She's been stringing them both along! She's been pitting them against each other and she sits there and tells the other about everything the other says or does to her or for her. She has been claiming she's in love with this exBF of hers yet carried on an affair with my exH. My exH claims he loves her and will do anything to win her affection while her exBF says he will be with her only if she ends contact with my exH (but she wont do that and then she cant fig out why exBF wont be with her) She wont be exclusive with my exH bc she is chasing after her exBF, but my exH is chasing after her while her exBF is running from her until she ends all contact with my exH. It's like a wild goose chase. I've never seen anything so crazy. I think it make for a very entertaining reality show with some slap stick comedy tossed in.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Isn't it amazing what two idiots will fight over?


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

That really does need the Benny Hill theme tune!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Isn't it amazing what two idiots will fight over?


I dont even know what the prize worth winning is. She's very much on the heavy side being well over 200 lbs. She lives at home with her parents, she uses suicide attempts as a means of attention, she drinks to get drunk almost nightly. She does have a college degree in which she could use to get a good job but she stays working for a fast food restaurant making just over minimum wage. She is 28 yrs old but lives off her parents. And this what they both want? Am I missing something, what's the attraction? Does she suck a mean d*ck????


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> That really does need the Benny Hill theme tune!


YouTube - ‪Benny Hill Theme‬‏


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> I dont even know what the prize worth winning is. She's very much on the heavy side being well over 200 lbs. She lives at home with her parents, she uses suicide attempts as a means of attention, she drinks to get drunk almost nightly. She does have a college degree in which she could use to get a good job but she stays working for a fast food restaurant making just over minimum wage. She is 28 yrs old but lives off her parents. And this what they both want? Am I missing something, what's the attraction? Does she suck a mean d*ck????


You forgot something.....the oh so classy initials tattoed on her leg. It must be that.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> She's very much on the heavy side being well over 200 lbs.
> She lives at home with her parents,
> she uses suicide attempts as a means of attention,
> she drinks to get drunk almost nightly.
> ...


WTF!!!???!!! :scratchhead:

And that's a catch is it? That's the grand prize? This is what all the effort is for?
A burger munching, depressive chunk bull with with a dependence on alcohol and the bank of Mum and Dad?

What the f**/ was wrong with just winning a goldfish?


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm WTF'ing on this one too. This is what my husband left me for/ It's like what was said in another thread where they affair down. Far as me, I may not be the skinniest but I am well under 200lbs. I have an associates in law degree, I am in school working on my BA in criminal justice. I am using my degree by working at a legal library at an university. I live in my own house (sure, I rent only but I aint living with ma and pa) I pay my own bills, I maintain my own life and dont expect anyone to take care of me. If I dont have a sitter, I dont go out. I dont expect my parents to watch my kids so I can go get drunk every night and in spite of all the hell Ive ever been through, Ive never once attempted suicide. Not for real, not for attention. I would think that I would be the catch here that someone wants, not the way she is. That's a turn off to me.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> You forgot something.....the oh so classy initials tattoed on her leg. It must be that.


Oh yes, because tattooing someone initials on yourself will automatically make someone love you :crazy:


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

There's nowt as queer as folk, as the saying goes.

Good luck to him.
I'd have stuck with the goldfish.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> There's nowt as queer as folk, as the saying goes.
> 
> Good luck to him.
> I'd have stuck with the goldfish.


Goldfish dont eat as much as the whale either LOL


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Oh, my exH already knows all this.


It would be funny if he saw it though in her own words. She probably lied to him too. LOL. 

And wow, she sounds like a prize from her description. 



AppleDucklings said:


> *I'm WTF'ing on this one too*. .


Hahaha. I love that ''WTF'ing" 

Your ex is an idiot. You sound like a total catch. And you are so much better than the way he treated you. Know that.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I am in the beginnings of a new relationship that I do have good feelings about. My exH beat me down with his mental abuse on me. (He never laid a hand on me physically but it was the mental abuse that got me) Let me share what happened over the weekend and how something so simple to anyone else means everything to me. Over the weekend, I spent the night with my friend (I dont call him my BF yet. We are in that seeing to see stage) We were sitting on his couch watching tv and having small talk. Seems normal right? Sitting on the couch, talking while watching tv? Not for me. You see, with my exH, I was not allowed to speak while the tv was on because that was "his time" and it "bothered him" if I were to try to talk to him while he was watching tv. If I did talk to him while "his tv" was on, he would turn, look at me with that very impatient look, do the finger tap on his chin thing. I would say what I needed then I would just excuse myself from the room as to avoid him getting even angrier at me. My exH would call me selfish for talking to him if he was watching TV because "I should know that he works hard to support the family and when he is home, he needs his down time and for me to bother him while he is trying to relax makes it so he cant really relax and then he has no energy to want to spend time with me later" I lived for 15 yrs with that man thinking I was a horrible, selfish, no good wife and I was lucky to have him because no one else would want someone like me. Well, anyways, over the weekend with my friend, sitting on his couch, talking to each other with the tv on was such a big deal to me. Not only was the tv on but he had a genuine interest in what I was saying to him. It's that one small thing right there that held such meaning to me (he has no idea how my ex treated me only that he was unfaithful to me) Also, I was telling him about how I grew up with horses and how I rode in horse shows growing up but hadnt done a show since I was 17 and that I would like to again someday. He said to me that if this was a passion of mine, then I should go for it. Wow! If I ever shared anything with my exH, he would only tell me ALL the reasons why it would not be possible. Then I would lose hope in all things. Now here is this guy who will not only talk to me while the TV is on but he believes in me and seems to enjoy my company. I dont know what to do with this. Ive never felt like I mattered before.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

What you do is roll with it.
And it always all the small things that matter.
It's the small things that make or break a relationship.
Enjoy
Best wishes

N-B


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

NZHappy said:


> Life is balance.
> 
> I don't really like someone trying to have a conversation with me when I'm watching TV either. Watching Hulu is good though - we can just pause it when my wife or I want to say something and explore a topic further.
> 
> ...


I tried to do that with him, set up "our time" once a week. He refused. He claimed it was pointless.


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## ahhhmaaaan! (Mar 26, 2011)

This is exactly why I started a thread on the feeling that THEY(WS) "got away with it."


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ What do you mean? Meaning, how is that relevant to AD's post?


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

As I read over some of these threads and posts made by people on this forum and I read about how much they love their spouse in spite of the pain and the hurt their spouse caused and how they are willing to fight for that one person because they love them that much, make me wonder, why couldnt I have someone like them? Why couldnt someone love me that way and will anyone ever love me that much?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

One always wonders "what if?"

But AD, you need to realize--he had already made his choice. It did not include you. It sucks but in the end, he wasn't worthy of you in the first place. He was a man who couldn't keep his d!ck in his pants to save his life, a liar with zero accountability. He is still lying to you and gets upset whe n you reveal truth to him. He can't handle the truth! (like that movie says LOL). He was a boy, not a man. 

You don't need someone like that in your life.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> One always wonders "what if?"
> 
> But AD, you need to realize--he had already made his choice. It did not include you. It sucks but in the end, he wasn't worthy of you in the first place. He was a man who couldn't keep his d!ck in his pants to save his life, a liar with zero accountability. He is still lying to you and gets upset whe n you reveal truth to him. He can't handle the truth! (like that movie says LOL). He was a boy, not a man.
> 
> You don't need someone like that in your life.


I dont want him in my life. I did divorce him because I was done. I finally saw him for who he really was. But I do want someone. And yeah, I have been seeing someone but our contact is so limited (I see him once a week and speak on the phone once or twice a week) that the loneliness eats away at me and I begin to get over anxious about things. But I see these men who love their wives so much and I cant imagine for the life of me why someone would do such things to someone who loves them so much.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I really think you are jumping the shark on dating. You have NOT recovered or healed from your divorce yet. You speak of being and feeling lonely and wanting to fill that void.

You need to not do that because it can get you in an unhealthy relationship. 

Spend some time with YOU. Get to know YOU. Then when you are comfy and happy being alone, you will be "ready" again.


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