# Should you insist on STD testing??



## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

If a divorced/separated person meets someone, is it alright to insist they go for testing for aid/std's before any encounters??


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I don't see anything wrong with wanting to make sure your partner and YOU are clean.

Better to be safe than sorry.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Alright? In my mind, if they won't then that's a huge red flag. You have every right to be safe. If they don't care if you're safe, run away. 

Likewise, be prepared to give them reassurance if they ask.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

absolutely, the only way to enter into that kind of relationship is with mutual testing. Why take the chance, its easy.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I depends. Short answer yes. But sometimes both myself and my partner have been fine with knowing the others' past and being truthful about it coupled with previous testing. i.e. I had a full spectrum on a few occasions - last one was several years ago but I had used protection since then so last guy didn't ask for proof - just trusted that I had been tested, then used protection and all was well.

ETA - LOL that sounds like I get around a lot! Not really but point is, I'm careful and I'm willing to broach the subject with someone who I sense is getting close to that point as we're dating.


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## ladylaker (Sep 21, 2013)

Almost 20% of the population has HV2 (Genital Herpes). Over 56% of the adult population has HV1 (Cold Sores). I'm not sure on this, but I believe I read that visually you cannot tell the difference between the 2 viruses. You can have both in and around the genital and mouth areas. 40% of all new genital herpes cases are HV1. 
Only 10% of the people infected with HV2 actually know that they have the virus. This is a staggering and shocking number!! 

The only way to test is via a blood test. This will tell IF you or your partner is infected and which type you may have or contracted. However, if you contracted the virus within the past 12 weeks, your blood test may come back negative. If you have a breakout with the sores or lesions the doctor can take a culture. This will reveal the HV virus but not specifically the type. It takes 12 weeks for the body to build the antibodies for the virus in which the 'type' can be diagnosed properly.

As a writer, I've have to do a lot of research and reading up on subject material, gather facts and data. I was shocked to have learned the staggering numbers and facts. But I am more than happy to pass along this info. Herpes is NOT fatal. There is treatment, unlike many other diseases. No one thinks much of a person having a cold sore on their lip but they should. HV2 are basically cold sores "down there". With medicine the sores go away, but the virus lives within. The problem with HV is that the virus can be spread without any sores visible. This is called Asymptomatic Shedding. This is thought to be the reason why Herpes gets spread, even when there are no outbreaks OR symptoms. 

In fact, most women think they may have a "Boil" or a large pimple. The sore or lesion may not appear as a broken infected blister. Reading about it, this sneaky virus can hide under the skin disguised as the above, or may look like a razor cut (for those who shave or trim and think they may have nicked the skin. When the body is going through the Asymptomatic Shedding it is basically just as contagious as having the sores. These same disguises happen on the men's genitalia. I suggest reading up on Herpes. Always better safe than sorry. There's a ton of information out there on the internet. 

To answer your question, you may need to get 2 tests. Waiting at minimum 12 weeks between tests if the 1st test is negative. This obviously would depend on when either of you last had sex with a different partner. Hope this all made sense! Best to always talk openly with your family physician.


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## Pinkturtle (Apr 5, 2013)

Yes,yes,yes!!


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

If that's what you need to feel comfortable, totally reasonable. 

STD's don't have to be a deal-breaker but I'd start off fooling around in the light so you can give their "stuff" a good once over. Any sores, blisters, or weird discharge = no go zone. Also you should always use condoms unless you have both been tested within the last 6 months and are monogamous. 

Stay safe and have fun!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I wouldn't trust a visual inspection. 

I'm thankfully STD free; I don't even have the cold sore virus. And I'd like to keep it that way.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Go get gaurdasil too. Even if you have one strain of HPV, there are more out there.


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## ladylaker (Sep 21, 2013)

bravenewworld said:


> If that's what you need to feel comfortable, totally reasonable.
> 
> STD's don't have to be a deal-breaker but I'd start off fooling around in the light so you can give their "stuff" a good once over. Any sores, blisters, or weird discharge = no go zone. Also you should always use condoms unless you have both been tested within the last 6 months and are monogamous.
> 
> Stay safe and have fun!




Just FYI for EVERYONE, when Herpes is Shedding, THERE ARE NO SIGNS!!! You cannot tell by looking at someones - parts.


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

You should insist on what you need to feel comfortable. If that is testing then yes is that is their word then no. It comes down to you. What do YOU need to feel comfortable with them. Then stand that line.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I just got tested for myself. It was part of my physical. I'm not dating and don't sleep around. If/when I do sleep with someone it would be after a period where I'd feel comfortable enough to ask about testing, so I'd say "yes". 

How people just sleep with someone they don't know after one or two dates is beyond me. I guess they figure that a condom is good enough protection. It's not my style.


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## ladylaker (Sep 21, 2013)

Copied from the Website: 

The Truth about HSV-1 and HSV-2
How alike are HSV-1 and HSV-2? In this feature, we look at the latest scientific facts about the two types of herpes simplex virus, as well as social attitudes toward oral and genital herpes.

When many people first tell someone they have genital herpes, they start by comparing the infection to oral herpes, or cold sores. How apt is the comparison? In spite of scientific facts, the social stigma and emotional attitudes surrounding genital herpes can make it hard to compare it objectively with an oral infection that most people casually accept. Following the unspoken assumptions of our society, many people still believe there is a "good" herpes virus-HSV- 1, the usual cause of cold sores-and a "bad" herpes virus-HSV-2, the usual cause of genital herpes.

In this feature, we take a look at HSV- 1 and 2 to see how alike and different the two viral types really are. We asked leading researchers how the two compare in terms of severity, recurrences, and transmission rates. We asked how often each occurs outside its usual site of preference, and how each behaves in the genital area. We questioned how much immunity having one type orally or genitally provides against getting the second type.

In addition, we looked at the way our society views oral and genital herpes. What's behind the very different images the two types carry? And what can we do about it? In an interview, counselors at the National Herpes Hotline suggest ways to help replace judgmental social assumptions with a healthy attitude.

Under a microscope, HSV- 1 and 2 are virtually identical, sharing approximately 50% of their DNA. Both types infect the body's mucosal surfaces, usually the mouth or genitals, and then establish latency in the nervous system. For both types, at least two-thirds of infected people have no symptoms, or symptoms too mild to notice. However, both types can recur and spread even when no symptoms are present.

The primary difference between the two viral types is in where they typically establish latency in the body- their "site of preference." HSV-1 usually establishes latency in the trigeminal ganglion, a collection of nerve cells near the ear. From there, it tends to recur on the lower lip or face. HSV-2 usually sets up residence in the sacral ganglion at the base of the spine. From there, it recurs in the genital area.

Even this difference is not absolute either type can reside in either or both parts of the body and infect oral and/or genital areas. Unfortunately, many people aren't aware of this, which contributes both to the spread of type 1 and to the misperception that the two types are fundamentally different.

"People don't understand that you can have type 1 genitally or orally, that the two types are essentially the same virus,' says Marshall Clover, manager of the National Herpes Hotline." One type is associated with stigma, the other is "'just a cold sore"- our society has a euphemism for it so we don't even have to acknowledge that it's herpes.''

The common myth is that HSV-1 causes a mild infection that is occasionally bothersome, but never dangerous. The reality? HSV-1 is usually mild, especially when it infects the lips, face, or genitals. However, in some cases type 1 can recur spontaneously in the eye, causing ocular herpes, a potentially serious infection which can lead to blindness. In very rare cases HSV- 1 can spread spontaneously to the brain, causing herpes encephalitis, a dangerous infection that can lead to death. HSV-1 is also the usual cause of herpes whitlow, an infection on the finger, and "wrestler's herpes," (herpes gladiatorum) a herpes infection on the chest or face.

The range and potential severity of HSV-1 infections lead some experts to view the virus as more risky than usually perceived. "This is heresy, but I think type 1 is a more significant infection than type 2," says Spotswood Spruance, MD, an oral HSV specialist at the University of Utah. "Type 1, and the morbidity associated with it, are underestimated."

By comparison, HSV-2 is widely believed to be a painful, dangerous infection that affects only people with very active sex lives. The reality? Some 22% of adult Americans from all backgrounds, income levels, and ethnic groups have HSV-2. Like HSV-1, type 2 is usually mild-so mild that two- thirds of infected people don't even know they have it. Type 2 rarely causes complications or spreads to other parts of the body. It is the most common cause of neonatal herpes, a rare but dangerous infection in newborns; however, type 1 causes up to one-third of neonatal infections.

The two types do behave somewhat differently depending on whether they are residing in their site of preference-the mouth and face for HSV-1, and the genital area for HSV-2. But both types are quite common, and under most circumstances neither is a major health threat. That's one reason medical professionals tend to dismiss HSV -2 despite the emotional trauma a diagnosis can cause for a patient.

While HSV can be a frustrating and painful condition for some people, in general the virus is less a medical problem than a social problem. For most of us, genital herpes is no more dangerous than a cold sore.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

Honestly I was petrified after splitting with my STBXH. Not only did I get checked for every std on the planet (he was cheating with who knows who) but I scheduled an appt with my OBGYN to talk about STD prevention. This is what I took away as important:

-Always consistently and correctly use condoms (latex) 
-It is possible to transmit genital herpes during a dormant period - however, it is highly unlikely 
-At least 50% of sexually active adults have some form of HPV, however, some studies show it to be as high as 80% 
-HPV vaccine is only effective if you are under 26 years of age
-If using spermicide, make sure it's compatible with the condoms you are using. Depending on the material the condom is made out of, it can render the condom ineffective

Are STD's a possibility? Yes. However, with vigilant condom use and discussing test results at the very least you know what you are getting into and at the very most you are preventing the majority of diseases. 

I agree one should not only trust a visual inspection BUT my doctor said that along with testing/condom use it's actually a pretty good way to avoid any obvious problems. There's a reason the brothels in Nevada have a required "junk inspection" before you get busy.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

bravenewworld said:


> -HPV vaccine is only effective if you are under 26 years of age


Wha???? :scratchhead:

Why would it quit working if you're older? Do they figure everybody over 26 has it already?


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> Wha???? :scratchhead:
> 
> Why would it quit working if you're older? Do they figure everybody over 26 has it already?


I know, I was really disappointed as I assumed I would be able to get vaccinated. 

Generally they recommend people get vaccinated around 11-12 years of age. The vaccine for whatever reason seems to have no affect on older immune systems.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

OK, it just didn't seem right and it's not. It is exactly that, they focused on women under 26 because they figure if you're over 26 and haven't caught it yet, you're not going to. 

In an easily readable form: 

Gardasil® Effective in Women Over Age 26

And directly from the manufacturer.

http://www.merck.com/product/usa/pi_circulars/g/gardasil/gardasil_pi.pdf

(See page 24)

80% effective still seems like a good deal better than 0%.

Your doctor can perscribe it, he just must do it "off label" since the FDA won't approve it for men and women over 26.


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