# lost libido



## SummerSky (Aug 22, 2014)

since the birth of my daughter and getting implant fitted 2 years ago my sex drive has gone from through the roof to non excistent.. its caused alot of problems with my partner and now have split atm.. he constantly accuses me of not loving him/fancying him/getting it elsewhere constantly and its so frustrating! i dont wanna do it when i dont want to, then when i do he moans that im not enjoying it. sex just isnt a priority these days to me, but him well... my god its like having 3 kids wanting my constant attention! help! tips or advice gratefully recieved, dont know what to do! x


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Maybe you can get a third party (someone he'll listen to) to knock some sense and some birds and bees into him realize that childbirth and rearing can greatly affect women. 

You on the other hand can work on yourself (not that there's necessarily anything wrong with you, but to save the relationship) by going to see dr and or therapist or minister


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

how often do you have relations.

try understanding that sex is really important to high drive people.and minimizing his needs are just as bad as him treating you poorly because your drive dropped after childbirth.

a fair compromise would be my advice. maybe one where he backs off hounding you and where you make a good effort to get yourself in the mood more often.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Wait, you have a 2 year old AND recently got implants? Was that a typo and you meant Norplant?

If it was implants....Now just stop for a second and think about this from your husbands point of view. He becomes a father and his wife no longer desires him. Then she gets implants, and she still doesn't desire him? That hurts, a lot!

Why did you get implants so soon after your baby was born?

I know childbirth knocks your sex drive out cold, happened to me in a big way and I had no idea what had happened to me. It was horrible on my marriage! I can't begin to describe the lasting damage it did and if I had it all to do over I would have screwed up the courage a hell of a lot sooner to figure it out.

If it was a typo and you meant to type Norplant, go see your GYN and get a new birth control. Norplant is notorious for killing all traces of a woman's sex drive. ...it's why it is so effect for teenagers!


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Advice? Let him go. Everyone deserves someone who's into them.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SummerSky said:


> since the birth of my daughter and getting implant fitted 2 years ago my sex drive has gone from through the roof to non excistent.. its caused alot of problems with my partner and now have split atm.. he constantly accuses me of not loving him/fancying him/getting it elsewhere constantly and its so frustrating! i dont wanna do it when i dont want to, then when i do he moans that im not enjoying it. sex just isnt a priority these days to me, but him well... my god its like having 3 kids wanting my constant attention! help! tips or advice gratefully recieved, dont know what to do! x


How old is your daughter?

What are implants? Please explain because there are a lot of things that can be implanted. We have no idea what you are talking about.

You are married. You need to be putting your marriage first. It's the most important relationship in your life. You children come second.. I don't mean you ignore your children. What I mean is that the marriage, the relationship between you and your husband need to be the first priority. When the parents have a strong, passionate relationship, their children have a strong foundation/home. 

If you are being like your children take too much out of you, you need to find a way to fix this. Perhaps you need some time for yourself, to take care of yourself. then you need to spend time with your husband dating, loving, etc.

One of the first things you need to do is to see a doctor to find out why your libido is so low. It might be hormonal. There are things you can do but first you need to rule out any kind of hormonal problems.

Your husband is completely reasonable to expect a normal sex life with his wife. I don't get why you think he's wrong in expecting this.


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

You mentioned the implant, so you must think your birth control is a possible cause of your loss of libido. Have you discussed this with your doctor? Maybe another form of birth control can help. You might still feel lower libido even with the implant taken out, since you're tired and not feeling sex, but at least figure out what you natural libido is right now without the hormonal birth control.


----------



## Cleigh (Dec 5, 2013)

*Re: Re: lost libido*



Anon Pink said:


> Wait, you have a 2 year old AND recently got implants? Was that a typo and you meant Norplant?
> 
> If it was implants....Now just stop for a second and think about this from your husbands point of view. He becomes a father and his wife no longer desires him. Then she gets implants, and she still doesn't desire him? That hurts, a lot!
> 
> ...


Lol sorry, implant is a form of birth control. If it's the same as I have its called implanon I think.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Ah, clarity makes things so much easier.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

well, it does not take an Einstein to figure out that he wants sex, A LOT of sex, and it is pretty important to figure out how to get yourself hornier for him. That is, unless you want him gone from the marriage.

If you changed birth control method and lost sex drive, maybe it was the birth control method screwing up your libido. Get those "implants" the heck out of there, buy some condoms and contraceptive foam, and try sex that way for a year. See if it comes back in spades.

Also one thing you have to remember....just because he says he wants sex all the time does not mean he needs it. Make yourself super available, initiate sex twice a day for the next week. then sit back and let him initiate the 2nd week. I bet he initiates two times, maybe.

It is the lack of sex at all that gets his mind thinking about it ALL THE TIME right now. Give him what he wants, enthusiastically, and I bet it comes back down to normal. 

But if you do nothing, it will not go well for your future.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Cleigh said:


> Lol sorry, implant is a form of birth control. If it's the same as I have its called implanon I think.





SummerSky said:


> since the birth of my daughter and getting implant *fitted* 2 years ago


She probably is talking about birth control. But the use of the word "fitted" seems a little bit odd of a choice for birth control.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> She probably is talking about birth control. But the use of the word "fitted" seems a little bit odd of a choice for birth control.


I believe she is referring to an IUD with some sort of hormones built into it.


----------

