# Why?



## LostMyPath (Oct 4, 2011)

I'm a man, ofc, im not sure if i am allowed to post in here, since its the womans clubthingy.

I am 22, so take it easy on me, dont rape me... im still a baby -_- lol

So, this might be a stupid & unwell thought out question but, why is it always men that have to work so hard at keeping their woman?

I mean, okay, its obvious that the man needs to be a "MAN" but come on, why the tests?

And why is it that men can simply say "You have upset me" and women play all these mind games instead of doing the same?

Maybe its because im drunk, maybe i didn't think this through and im in for a good old fashioned gender rape but, i really appreciate all comments, and remember, negative inputs are always welcome too<3


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## MrsAnonymity (Sep 30, 2011)

First off, "rape" isn't just something to toss around as another word meaning you get pwned or get your arse kicked. Rape is a whole other story, so if you wan't to be taken seriously by women - who might have experienced actual rape, slightly more serious than the tone you use it in - try dropping that phrase. I'm sure your vocabulary can accomodate you in locating a suitable replacement.

As to the broad, generalizing statement about women all playing mind gams and not having to do anything to keep their men - I call bullsh*t. Not all relationships are the same, just as not all people are the same, just as not all women are the same. Some women exhaust themselves via exercise, starve themselves, and even opt in for plastic surgery all in the hopes of keeping their man happy with their appearance. Some play mind games, some don't. But if you think some men don't play the same stupid little games, you're kidding yourself.

If your woman plays mind games with you, tell her to knock it off, and be honest and up front with her.


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## lady1 (Jan 31, 2012)

I agree with MrsAnonymity 100%, both about the 'rape' use, and the generalizing.

I have known plenty of men and women who played mind games and were super manipulative. And plenty of people (men and women) who were great, honest, and nice. 

I personally think it is always best to be straightforward in relationships. If you feel someone is playing a game, call them on it (in an honest and direct way), and ask they why they are acting like that. Depending on what you mean by 'game', they might not even know they are doing it. Or they may be 'testing' you because they are super insecure, and talking openly may actually address an issue they were too afraid to bring up on their own. If she doesn't respect you enough to have an honest conversation with you, then it might be time to look for someone else. There are plenty of nice women out there.


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## SimonLLL (Jan 29, 2012)

Yeah - stay off the 'rape' analogy, lmp. Not good, even as a euphemism.

Ask yourself a question here. 

What are you not doing that is leading her to 'test' you?

Quite often, when this happens, she is either looking for something that you are not providing or testing that she has your attention as your wife and lover. She needs reassurance. There is nothing wrong with this. You are young and still relatively early in your relationship. She needs to know she is No. 1!!

You are entitled to the same reassurance. Be the knight in shining armour for her! The games will soon stop.

When we go out to restaurants, I always stand behind my lady and 'assist' with the chair as she sits. I open doors for her. I clear the table after dinner or pick up after her when she is relaxing. She does lots of things for me. So I'm old fashioned, you might think. Quite the contrary - I am very radical in a lot of my thinking. But I have learned that my marriage is a special place when we take care of each others needs and desires, even in the smallest way. Those little things make her feel attended to, special. If I thought for a minute they would offend her sense of individuality, I wouldn't do them. I would respect her wishes.

Sometimes it can come across as manipulation. Often it's a cry for acknowledgment.


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