# How to get your spouse to kiss you again?



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

OK...so I'm only going to talk about kissing.

My wife and I have been together 9 years. In the beginning we would kiss passionately. In the beginning she said "Kissing is almost more important and intimate than sex." I remember the conversation we had.

Now, she has said that kissing me is not the same. She says it's like I am 'delicate' and that if she kisses me it's like kissing a family member. So I asked "You mean like trying to kiss your brother." And her reply was "No, not like that. I see you as delicate." Now I don't know what she means by that and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Intimacy in general has been low for a while and due to recent events I'm trying to bring it back. We've had sex but she still refuses to kiss me. 

Yesterday I asked for a peck on the lips and she pretty much just leaned in, mouth closed and touched my lips...no real kiss. Today I got the same thing...it's bad. I hate the feeling that my wife doesn't want to kiss me. She's OK with sex (Or putting up with it for now) but kissing seems to be off the table. While having sex the last time I asked her to kiss me and she said "One step at a time." which nearly killed the mood entirely for me.

So how do you get your spouse to kiss you passionately again. Looking back, I saw a birthday video of mine from a year ago where I was asking for a kiss for the video camera and she wouldn't kiss me. It never bothered me then because I didn't realize she had that issue. Now I see we haven't really kissed in ages...and I really want that kiss back. 

I've heard some people say "Show me how you were loved as a child and I'll show you how you will love as an adult." As a child she was not show a great deal of intimacy. Not many in this country are show much, it's just not part of the culture. However, others within the culture still have the intimacy. We certainly had it for the first years of our relationship. How do I get it back...or am I lost to ever having it back unless I just leave?


----------



## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

O


synonimous_anonymous said:


> OK...so I'm only going to talk about kissing.
> 
> My wife and I have been together 9 years. In the beginning we would kiss passionately. In the beginning she said "Kissing is almost more important and intimate than sex." I remember the conversation we had.
> 
> ...


Her use of the term delicate would make me start looking at the things I do that could be perceived as delicate. Starting with "asking" for a kiss. Try to figure out areas that you can be more decisive. Be less moody. Take up the hobby that you gave up to spend more time around the family.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

It's time you stop acting like a hurt little puppy dog. Get angry with that woman for doing what she did. You need to leave but since you refuse, then at least get angry. That anger will give you back your manly edge. The last thing she needs is a man who is afraid of her. She is having a very hard time respecting you. You want a passionate kiss, but there is no passion in you. You're just so sickeningly grateful that she's still around. She needs to be able to depend on your confidence, but you don't have any. You allowed her to rob you of it and in the time since catching her, you have offered up your confidence on a silver platter. She needs you confident. She needs to know she cannot walk all over you. She needs you to man-handle her and not treat her like a delicate little flower. 

Instead of being so hurt, start thinking differently. Instead of being so grateful, start thinking differently. Instead of thinking how much you love her and can't live without her, start thinking differently. GET MAD! Be angry that she did this to you! Be angry that she did this to you and you didn't deserve it! Be angry that it's been 3 weeks and she is making so little effort! Be angry that she is not nearly remorseful like she should be! Be angry that she doesn't care that you deserve her apologies and remorse hotdammit!

Then she will want to kiss you again. You will have mustered enough passion and self respect to be angry. She needs you to have some gusto.

But don't even think about trying to fake it. She will detect that and lose even more respect for you.


----------



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

Last week I decided early on in the day that I wanted to go home, get all cleaned up and when my wife came home I would take her by the hand to bed and just start going at it...be spontaneous and a little aggressive. That...didn't work.

Her reaction was: 'Where are we going?' and when I got her to the room to start things off with a kiss, she pulled back and said 'Can I just have a glass of wine first, I just got home.' so I asked her to bring the wine to bed with us but she insisted on the kitchen and her voice was 'moody' as in she wasn't play game.

We sat there for an hour and when it came time for some fun, she was giving all the signs of 'I'm not in the mood' and that killed it for me so I just pulled up the blankets. She then started to spiral into feelings of guilt because she saw that I tried to be spontaneous and that she ruined the moment. I didn't react to her taking the blame for ruining the moment because, well...she did. We haven't been spontaneous in years so I figured this would add a little something to the fizzled flame. We ended up having sex a day later in a more 'scheduled' way. But still no kissing...even while she was feeling all good, I would try to go in for a kiss and her mouth would be still...not receptive at all.


----------



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

It may be nothing personal, although I don't blame you for feeling that way.

Think about your first "make-out" you had with the opposite sex, your first real kissing experience. Remember tasting their saliva and feeling teeth and all that and thinking. . ."Okay, this is supposed to be good?"

Like beer, it took me a little while to acquire the taste and perhaps your wife never aquired a taste (or skill?) for kissing. 

Of course, it could be a deeper issue but it may not.

I would definitely miss kissing. It's very part and parcel of the sexual experience for myself so I feel for you.


----------



## Mario Kempes (Jun 12, 2010)

Kissing is hugely important for my wife. Like the OP, she regards it almost as important as anything else.

Try starting with kissing her on the shoulders and the back and side of her neck and move on from there. It works very well for me.


----------



## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

Time for therapy or something on the side
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

alot of good pts here, mainly BE A MAN for.......crying out loud.

she needs to explain that effeminate tag she put on u. is it true? only u two know. the way u write, it may well be.

get mad, and if she cares about that much, then tell her to 
fess up/come clean on this kissing draught of yours.

i wont ponder what shes thinking/doing, as could be anything
right now, and u havent shown us anything pert to her.


----------



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

We used to kiss like mad (Before we ever had sex we kissed for about 3 weeks with nothing else happening). She would literally take me some place after work, dark and out of the way and we would just kiss. We eventually started kissing in more public places not caring about what others thought.

Now, 9 years later she's not into kissing. It used to be the most important thing (Almost more than sex) but now it seems I'm delicate. I've asked for an explanation about it and she always finishes with "You don't understand me. You can't understand me." She goes on to say that she thinks she needs to see a psychiatrist. She feels her libido and kissing issues are something in her head. I wish she would make that appointment soon. I've actually gone out and found a specialist for her to see, phone number and everything but she hasn't done anything about it.

The one time I tried to 'be a man' when she came home from work one day (Last week) I took her by the hand and tried to be spontaneous. She stopped me and said "First, I need a glass of wine." That one glass turned out to take an hour and by the end of the hour she felt like she 'had to have sex now'...which took all the passion out of it.

I don't want to push her further away...but I don't know that she's really doing all she can to fix things. She says she is and if I point out the parts where I know she could improve with a little effort (As I've certainly made extra efforts) she sees it as complaining.

I wanted to stay on the subject of kissing here, but sex is another issue. When we have sex she likes it when she O (Who doesn't) but there is no foreplay. She used to dress up in something sexy and we used to laugh and have a good time with it to build up to the actual sex and then to the O for her and the O for me. She is someone who can have more than 1 O per round (2 or 3...and if she's feeling up to it and I can manage she can get to 4). Then when it would be my turn she would do a whole lot (And it really didn't take much) for me to reach my 1 0. And it would feel so good. NOW, it's get naked, use my fingers (On the outside, she can't O during penetration) and once she's had her turn it's then my turn and with the attitude of "Don't take your time, if you can do it fast do it fast." Sometimes she says those words exactly and it just completely kills the mood...which makes things take longer.

I hate that my wife has no passion for me like she used to. One thing she has said is "We've grown as a family and so I see you as family. Maybe that's why." I don't want it to be a job for her, I want her to want sex and want to kiss me. I wish there were something I could do that would work for sure...a viagra for women....that would work for her on ME.

Since I'm writing I should mention that she was caught in the middle of cheating by me (Caught her naked on top of another man) She says it wouldn't have gone any further, part of me wants to believe her and part of me wants to slap her for thinking I'm that stupid. She doesn't remember kissing but when I asked the OM about the entire situation (In detail) he said only some kissing happened. So the passion she must have had there...where is it for us. Am I just a used toy now that has run out of juice for her? Am I just a convenient person to be in a relationship with? I'm 32 and she's 40. I could move on to someone younger and more 'willing'...but I'm so attracted to my wife emotionally and sexually that I can't find it within myself to be apart from her.


----------



## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

oh Anon, the things/facts u leave out................

best tell us more 'bout her(and yer) history?


----------



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

History:
She grew up in a tough home. At a time when only women in their early to mid twenties had babies, her mother had her at 37. She didn't like her mother as a child because whenever there was something going on at school her mother, being older, always took charge. Her mother asked her teachers in elementary school to leave her alone when she cried because she thought 'she has to learn she can only rely on herself since she has no sisters or brothers'. At 18 her father suffered a stroke that left him in a vegitative state for 18 years, he died 4 years ago. Her mother suffers from Parkinsons Sydrome and has no insurance to help with bills. My wife has taken care of them since. During her twenties she had relationships with people of her own nationality and when she spent sometime abroad, she had relationships there as well. Most of her relationships ended due to domestic violence. She married a man here in order for her to secure financial stability for her mother and father and her then husband needed to be married due to pressure from his father. He came from a rich family and he was the only one not married. The idea was he would work in another city and that while on paper they were married they would actually lead separate lives. However, after getting married he decided not to do that and tried to make a life with her. He was also a violent person and she suffered from that as well as the culture here that men are above women, something her then mother-in-law tried to teach her. She had told her own mother about the domestic violence and her mother's response was 'What are you doing to make him upset. Whatever it is you have to learn to stop.' Her ex didn't want her doing anything outside the home. Going back before her marriage, she had 2 relationships in which she accidentally got pregnant. She had an abortion on both occasions. These are things that still haunt her. While she is pro choice she still feels like she did something evil for selfish reasons. When I met her I was in a destructive relationship and looking for a way out. I lived with my girlfriend but had no means of quick escape. I had to plan things. At the time I was in a 'dark' place, something nobody seemed to notice except my wife. 1 night we had a drink...I honestly didn't think anything would happen. She had told me about her issues and unhappiness and I did the same. She is the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on and she could have picked someone more handsome with more money and less baggage than me, but that night she kissed me. No high has ever topped that kiss. Within 3 months I had a new apartment and she had divorced her husband. Her mother was not happy about the divorce and her aunt sent a letter telling her that 'I hope you rot in hell for what you are putting your mother through. Still she moved in with me.

The passion was amazing. For a year it was sex almost everyday...only when it hurt would we not do it. We did everything together. 3 months after that I told her how much I loved her and that I wanted to marry her. She was happy and said yes. When I asked about letting people know about our engagment she said "Not yet. People are probably going to think we are going too fast and I don't think your mother will be happy." So we waited. It wasn't until 4 years later at city hall did we tell people. No big event (My mistake) but I was happy. About 1 year before getting married I had suggester that her mother move in with us. At the time her mother was able to do most everything for herself. However she soon fell into a cultural thing where "I'm old now so you take care of me." And she got more and more lazy about stuff. In the beginning I tried to referee things between my wife and her mother trying to make her mother understand why she is wrong. I would do this so that my wife wouldn't blow up...although I was late on many occasions and my wife would sometimes already be in tears. My MIL knows how to push my wifes buttons. Eventually I took a harder approach but that made my MIL angry which then had my wife angrier at my MIL for not appreciating things. A friend suggested I just be neutral and calm both parties down...this wouldn't work either because my wife would often say "No, I have to tell her." And if I stood in the way I'd get it too. Every day was like Russian Roulette...will I come home to an angry family or will I come home to peace and quiet? This stress put a ding in our sex life. If my wife had to deal with her mother's dirty diapers and sheets (something which was only meant to be used if she couldn't get to the toilet in time but has since become her toilet simply because it's easier) then any romance was out. I knew this and didn't put forth any expectations. There were nights we'd go out with friends and come home to a sleeping MIL and close all the doors and have sex. 1 area of issue with my wife, something I've accepted responsibility for, is my lack of help with house cleaning. I thought I was pulling my own weight by always doing the shopping. Because of my powerlifting and diet there, I don't ask my wife to cook dinner for me. Only on a few occasions has she cooked for me...but that was my choice. I knew she was just as busy so I had no expectations there. Also, when it came to other house chores I would always say "If you need me to do it just ask and I will." My reason (_or excuse depending...) Was that my wife had her way of getting things done. If an iron for shirts was broken I would go buy one...but my wife would say "I don't think this is a good one. Return this one and I will find a new one for you to pick up" Or if I cleaned the trash bins I'd be using the wrong soap, cleaning in the wrong place and just not doing it right. If I tried to move furniture around to make things seem more spacious she would come home and ask that it all be put back and that she will think about a better way to arrange things. So I decided to wait to be told what to do. Another possible turn off is my fashion. I've never been a brand name person and like clothes that are casual and don't need to worry about damaging. She can make the cheapest clothes look sexy. Since I thought she liked me for who I am (and fashionable was never one of them) I never paid much attention. She has since said "I would like to buy you nice clothes but you probably won't wear them. My 2 jobs are such that 1 job must be in casual dress (teaching kids and trying to keep up with them) my other job is working in weddings where I have a dress code, which has to be formal but only black and white...no variations allowed. This has been a big reason FOR ME in not spending insane money on clothes. Another possible turn off is the body type I have due to powerlifting. I'm bulky and thick, I do have fat on my body but that's part of the game. Perhaps over the years I've gotten bigger, to the point my wife doesn't like...although she has never said it direclt. For the last month and a bit I've had zero appetite and have quit the gym due to lack of motivation (I want to fix my marriage) I've lost about 30lbs+...and it's not all fat BUT my wife seems keen on that right now. As far as things around the house, I do them without asking and if it is done 'wrong' I ask her how she would do it. Since the weightloss I've seen her checking men's clothes for perhaps the winter. But it still feels uncomfortable doing this...I thought my wife liked my body and didn't care about my fashion...I don't know when this changed for her. An example of something I could pick on as far as being 'pretty' with her is that she had laser hair removal on her legs. Unfortunately she didn't complete it. If I asked her in the past to shave, she said she couldn't because if she wanted to do laser removal again she shouldn't shave. Its not visible but when I touch her on her legs I do feel it. I have however never held onto that as something that makes her unattractive. So how is it that my passion for her has stayed intact but hers has not? I've always been a romantic surprising her with gifts and parties on special occasions and sometimes for no reason at all. She has surprised me once, our last anniversary and it was nice. During busy weeks we barely had time to talk (I should say we didn't make the effort) and that is something we are working on now. I snore which makes it hard for her to sleep so we've slept in separate beds...but for the last month I will spend the first few hours in bed with her and when I get noisy I move, the the last hour or 2 I go back and we end up cuddling. I'm working on my snoring as she says this is the only reason she can't sleep next to me. I don't know what else to say that might be relevent to this topic...any more advice
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

now thats what i call a "history!" a history almost too much to believe?!

maybe my more learned friends can offer up some detailed,
complex advice but i instead will opt for ........

K.I.S.S. = keep it simple stupid (in case u r foreign)

u 2 have so much baggage i dont think repacking, finding a new 
country, or anything else will do. even gutting yer "house of
cards" wont change things. in short u'd need a miracle to get
things back the way they were. unrealistic....4 everyone ok?

options are simple:
1. u leave her. not going to happen as u r addicted-in love w/
her & her kiss.

2. she leaves u. strong possiblility & u better prepare 4 this, or u're gonna be institutionalized(u digg?) afterwards methinks.

3. enjoy the "ride"(whatever that entails) while it lasts, and
find yer missing kiss feeling elsewhere in whatever she does to turn u on/off simulataneously. enjoy the moment(s).

4. and most of all, stop using yer head, trying to understand or
analyze everything w/ her. its no use. its all an enigma.
instead pray, pray, pray for answers, strength, wisdom, patience
etc. only God is the keeper of miracles, not u or i.

ray:


----------



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

Anyone else want to chime in?


----------



## stoomey74 (Sep 20, 2009)

If you figure this out I would be interested to know. Kissing is now horrible in my marriage and just forget about the sex. Unfortunately I am tired of putting in all the effort for nothing in return.

Sorry I know this is not about me, but I feel your pain.


----------



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

I've tried searching online and as far as I know it's a 'mental' thing with many women. My wife has admitted she needs to see a doctor to get by this, but she hasn't put in the effort to go. I want our sex life, intimacy to get better


----------



## Zhopa (Jan 18, 2012)

synonimous_anonymous said:


> Anyone else want to chime in?


Hello! I'm new and reading this thread with great interest. My wife refuses to kiss me. Sex with her, via the occasional quickie that she allows, she pretends to be somewhere else, uninvolved. It's killing our marriage and causing me (and our small child) a great deal of stress. I have tried everything mentioned in this thread and on sites such as Julia Grey without results... if anything my greater 'understanding' and 'sensitivity' lead to her allowing even less sex. 

We've even been through marriage counseling, which basically amounts to me doing more whilst my wife does even less... it seems like a general perception in the counseling trade that when there's a problem with the marriage that it's a problem with the man. 

Yes, in the counseling she agreed to be nicer to me, even made an occasional cup of tea, seemed to be somewhat caring in a sisterly way. On the surface of things she did well... but the moment the sexual tension in our relationship got in the way, she immediately withdrew the niceness. Eventually this spirals down into a row. I work a high-stress, pressure-cooker job, and nevertheless do my best to spend a lot of time with my son. I even hustle to get the work done in four days instead of five. But I can't live without love.

By way of history, we met over ten years ago. She had a child from a previous marriage (with the guy who DIDN'T have to wear condoms and skipped out on paying child support). I did the responsible thing, put the child through college and took a strong role in her life --- she's now close to PhD and debt-free. None of this, or things like this, make any impression on my wife. She seems to be happy only when shopping and spending every last penny that I can make, on junk to clutter our house more and more. 

Probably depressed, but she doesn't open up emotionally to me or talk about it, or even think that being willingly housebound with no interests (besides online shopping) and no friends is a problem. 

So I guess the refusal to kiss, to be closely intimate, and the careful wearing of frumpy sweatpants is an outgrowth of this?

I'd have boogied long ago, but there's a child involved !


----------



## SeeminglyHopelessForNow (Oct 29, 2012)

So, I'm the "wife" and want to know if your relationship ever got better for my own relationship.


----------



## silentlyscreaming (Oct 29, 2012)

i know how u feel, thats wht i feel like sometimes. i wish my husband could be more spontaneous. my marriage has become like a schedule. it isnt fun. i thought of trying like u did. come home early get some sexy clothes on, etc. i dont really know an answer to ur problem cause im trying to figure it out just wnted to let u know ur not alone.


----------



## SeeminglyHopelessForNow (Oct 29, 2012)

I don't know what your situation is like. Mine is that I CANNOT kiss my husband and I feel terrible. There's nothing wrong with him. I've been in this relationship for 12 years (married 10). I love kissing usually but have completely lost the physical attraction to my husband. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with him. The only thing it's doing is eating me alive because I feel so horrible. I've gone on ignoring it and it's getting to the point I have constant pain in my stomach. I feel I have to confront it head on now. I want to change because the way it is it isn't fair for either of us. I'm looking to see if it can change...


----------



## silentlyscreaming (Oct 29, 2012)

i can second that...except reverse roles... i think the coming home early spontanious thing would have done it for me.. oh well i know would have done it for me... y cant my husband take some notes from you.. but on a real note it seem to be more complicated than that for you. i dont think this is going to b something that is gonna be fixed quickly. i think she needs to seek help like she said


----------



## SeeminglyHopelessForNow (Oct 29, 2012)

Thank you for sharing your story. I am the "wife" but not the original wife from this post... just making sure there is no confusion. It's sad when these things happen but the one thing you can take away from it is if it's like my situation it has nothing to do with you. I think the world of my husband but don't want to be with him anymore. Yikes. Totally doesn't make sense and that's why I'm racking my brain for answers. I'm also seeing a counselor now and thinking about us seeing one together. I just haven't had the nerve to come out and say how bad it is though I'm sure he must know. I'm taking it one step at a time and hoping it changes.


----------



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I will say I have the same problem to a lesser extent. Before we married we would have hours long makeout sessions. Some people swear they would not recognise my old 58 chevy if the windows weren't steamed up. After marriage, the making out ceased. The new wife was always eager to get down to business, I didn't complain, but I really liked those old makeout parties.....

I have always had an intense feeling for women, and really liked kissing. I kissed like I ment it, because I really did, and bless their hearts, they can tell....

I hate to brag, (not really), but when I kissed a girl they stayed kissed. Once on a first date, I kissed my date good night, and she woke me up knocking on my bedroom window the next morning...She said she thought about that kiss all night.....whew.....

It's not like my wife won't kiss me, it's just that I still miss the old making out......


----------



## Brknhrtd (Feb 1, 2015)

SeeminglyHopelessForNow said:


> I don't know what your situation is like. Mine is that I CANNOT kiss my husband and I feel terrible. There's nothing wrong with him. I've been in this relationship for 12 years (married 10). I love kissing usually but have completely lost the physical attraction to my husband. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with him. The only thing it's doing is eating me alive because I feel so horrible. I've gone on ignoring it and it's getting to the point I have constant pain in my stomach. I feel I have to confront it head on now. I want to change because the way it is it isn't fair for either of us. I'm looking to see if it can change...



Hi. I know this is an old thread, but I felt exactly like how you described. If I can bring myself to give him a flat peck, it feels so disgustingly wrong, it feels like I am kissing my brother. I have to know if things worked out for you two. What happened? How did you get through it?


----------



## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

There is nothing wrong with you or your wife. It’s the classic “I love you but I’m not in love with you” situation. She likes the companionship and stability you provide but you are no longer exciting. 

The initial rush only lasts 2 to 3 years but you should grow closer in other ways. You’re family. You caught her with another man and she’s 40 so there is some element of midlife crisis going on. Affairs are more common at 29-30; 39-40 and 49-50 than at other ages. 

She immature and wants that old thrill again. You have testosterone working on you to keep your motor running without new excitement. 

You both need to realize what’s going on and work on it.


----------



## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

As a woman, I find kissing a huge turn on. A great snogging session gets me wet and desperate for sex. I can't remember the last time my husband kissed me, other than pecks on cheek/lips if one of us is going somewhere. I can't remember the last time he kissed me during sex - sex with him seems to be all about the genitals and nothing else. The fact that we never snog any more and don't have sex any more has made me really uncomfortable with these pecks on the cheek - it feels weird and almost inappropriate to me and I look at him and think "you have no sexual interest in me so why the hell do you want a kiss?". When I did confront him about this last year, he explained that his false teeth mean that his mouth is constantly sore. The sort of kissing I like is not really the deep penetration, tongue down my throat style though - I love just touching lips, gentle kisses which he doesn't seem able to do. OP, just a thought - does he have any teeth/mouth problems that could be addressed in order to improve things?


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I find that if I want my wife to kiss me, that it helps to first brush my teeth!


----------



## Intheknow (Feb 15, 2014)

Kissing is an intimate act, expessing love and affection. It is common that married people lose the initial romantic desire they had in the beginning of their relationship, and good kissing was a sign that good sex would be in store when it finally happened.

Kissing and holding each other and cuddling are something that needs to be nurtured and it happens more when time is spent together, alone or on a date away from home, when you are giving each other attention, showing appreciation and letting each other know they are important and cared for.

My wife always thought kissing meant sex after and wouldnt kiss if she was tired or didnt want sex. Instead of feeling rejected I asked her why she didnt kiss much and was told the truth. I reassured her that It didnt mean I wanted sex and that she could stop when she chose or take me upstairs if she wanted.
Made out for 25 minutes, full on kissing and wandering hands and I was clearly aroused. When she went to unzip my jeans I stopped her and moved her hand to my mouth, kissed and said spending time with me was all i wanted, thanked her for giving me her time and attention before going to sleep. 
Got up, called her the best make out partner ever and asked if she needed anything from me before I said goodnight

She was stunned, and laughed and asked if I was joking. Grabbed my hand and took me upstairs.

If passion is low, kissing is usually ignored. It is hard to fake passionate kissing and easier have sex and fake or have an orgasm and give you a great time, while fantasizing about someone famous to get them going. Sex is often viewed as a duty or reward or keep you from going elsewhere, while you can feel desired and attractive and manly.

_"I should mention that she was caught in the middle of cheating by me (*Caught her naked on top of another man*) She says it wouldn't have gone any further, part of me wants to believe her and part of me wants to slap her for thinking I'm that stupid. *She doesn't remember kissing* but when I asked the OM about the entire situation (In detail) he said only some kissing happened. *So the passion she must have had there...where is it for us*. "_


Slap yourself for being delusional and played the chump in love

Your problem is not that she wont kiss you, your real issue here is that *you are married to someone who gets away with being caught naked on another man and thinks that it's ok as long as she just keeps still and doesnt do anything more.*
You ask why doesnt she feel passion for you? Because you complain more about her lack of passion and kisses instead of *realizing shes giving them to another guy, who you found her naked and atop but reassures you it wouldn't go further (because you were there in the room!!!) and doesn't remember if she kissed him or was just being still and faithful to you just before you walked in.*

The person you love is not the person you are married to. She thinks of you as family, has no interest because you believe anything she says despite your own eyes and the other guy telling you (he remembers)
You think she makes you happy because you love her. She doesnt want a man who lets himself get walked on or moans about kissing while she gets away with being caught red handed with someone naked. She knows she can do it again, be more careful and even if caught she can lie and go home.
She was with him because she wanted to be, was attracted to him, he wanted her and took her without begging or whinging.
Adult married women do not just lie on top of a man naked as a rule. Stop treating her like a saint and realize shes a cheat (your words, man) Go with your gut. Trust me on this
Thats the problem here, Grow some balls, get your self respect back, cut her off or make her stay with her folks or put out. Show her you can take charge of your wife, show her you wont put up with her **** and find someone who likes to kiss AND IS LOYAL and stop thinking if you love her enough she will be good and kissable again.

Just my opinion
:scratchhead:
:banghead:


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

It's funny how they emasculate you, and then disrespect you for being emasculated.


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

This is a thread from 2010.


----------

