# Thought on this please!



## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

A friend of mine that I just spoke with on the phone was telling me about something that bothered her. She was telling me about how her husband sometimes watches porn and shes ok with it. The type of porn he watches doesn't seem to be strange, and nothing unusual. 

What DOES bother her is:

She told me over the past day or so, she has found some things that she finds a bit disturbing. She said she a saw a website her husband had been looking at, that was about families at nudist colonies. It showed pics/videos of these families nude. Some families were of husband, wife and teen age kids in the middle of puberty. Some were families with smaller kids like around 4 yrs of age to maybe 10. She did say that even though no one was engaged in any type of sexual activity the fact that people were showing and filming these families with kids and some in their teens walking around nude bothered her. 

In her heart and mind shes feels its not right, but then there is a part of her that feels maybe its not as bad as shes making it out to be since no one is having any kind of sexual relations. IMO, for me, that crosses the line, it doesn't matter that no one is involved with anyone sexually, it matters that kids and teens are being filmed and videos/pics are on the website of them naked. 

I think too, since they both share the computer, shes concerned with what if someone found out about what he was looking at. Thoughts? What crosses the line for you?


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

I think it's kind of a leap to go from "he watches porn" to "he's whacking off to nudest websites/using those sites as porn".
Maybe there is an innocent reason he is viewing those sites? Maybe curious to try it out, or simply is interested in the lifestyle?

I wouldn't be concerned about that sort of thing at all, but then, my SO is practically a nudest anyway, so I would just assume he was looking into places to visit.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

EntirelyDifferent said:


> I think it's kind of a leap to go from "he watches porn" to "he's whacking off to nudest websites".
> Maybe there is an innocent reason he is viewing those sites? Maybe curious to try it out, or simply is interested in the lifestyle?
> 
> I wouldn't be concerned about that sort of thing at all, but then, my SO is practically a nudest anyway, so I would just assume he was looking into places to visit.


I never said he was "whacking off" He could be yes, but my friend didn't mention that.


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## ladywillow (Oct 31, 2013)

Yeah I wouldn't jump the gun on anything honestly. Guys do stupid **** all of the time. He's probably into the nudist thing and wants to check it out. If anything more definitive happens then you'll have more to go on. But for now, I wouldn't think more about it.

Of course, if you're into being a nudist then talk to him about it. Maybe you guys will be able to find some good ground.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Sounds like he may have some latent tendencies of being a "closet nudist," but that his illogical progression still seems a bit on the strange side.

Aside from that, how is their sex life together?*


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Tell your friend to causally mention to her husband, "Hey hon since you look at porn from time to time, I noticed you were checking out a different kind of site, with pics and videos of nudist colonies, are you a secret nudist? Do you want to go to one?" Just see what he has to say. 

I'm not real sure where the line may cross from kids/young teens who are naked (which is considered child porn) to naked kids with their naked families.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Jamison said:


> I'm not real sure where the line may cross from kids/young teens who are naked (which is considered child porn) to naked kids with their naked families.


I have no clue where that might cross the line either, however it might be a good question for law enforcement. Not sure how your friend would go about that without raising an eyebrow, or maybe you could do it Calla. 

Personally IMO, its not something I would really want on my hard drive.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

trey69 said:


> I have no clue where that might cross the line either, however it might be a good question for law enforcement. Not sure how your friend would go about that without raising an eyebrow, or maybe you could do it Calla.
> 
> Personally IMO, its not something I would really want on my hard drive.


Ask law enforcement about pictures of a nudist colony? Seems like a great way to have your computer seized by an overzealous and ignorant police department. 

There has to be a better way to research the question without bringing attention directly on you. Keep in mind that people have been charged with child porn simply for taking pictures of their own young children in the bathtub and then making the mistake of sending them to the local photo processor.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Ask law enforcement about pictures of a nudist colony? Seems like a great way to have your computer seized by an overzealous and ignorant police department.
> 
> There has to be a better way to research the question without bringing attention directly on you. Keep in mind that people have been charged with child porn simply for taking pictures of their own young children in the bathtub and then making the mistake of sending them to the local photo processor.


Yes, exactly there has to be a better way. But the suggestion was merely that, a suggestion and that is why I also said not sure how that would work without raising an eyebrow. Surely there is a way to ask without doing so just not sure what that might be.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

trey69 said:


> Yes, exactly there has to be a better way. But the suggestion was merely that, a suggestion and that is why I also said not sure how that would work without raising an eyebrow. Surely there is a way to ask without doing so just not sure what that might be.


Here's an interesting link to a story about pictures taken in a nudist colony that were classified as porn. 

http://touch.sun-sentinel.com/#section/-1/article/p2p-78079983/


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Here's an interesting link to a story about pictures taken in a nudist colony that were classified as porn.
> 
> Sun Sentinel


Wow interesting link! You just never know!


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

JMO, and just a guess. MY guess is, (with the possible exception of parents who take pics of their naked little babies in the tub) My guess is, if there are pics and vidoes of underage pubescent kids/teens then its probably illegal, doesn't really matter that they are with their families. There are many sites with pics/videos out there that claim to be legal when really they are not. 

Callalily, if your friends husband was truly interested in a nudist colony, there are websites I'm sure that tell all about it, has tons of info, locations etc, without showing actual underage pubescent kids/teens walking around.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

So I had to google nudist colonies for families.At the top of the results came 2 different resorts for nudist families.The sites seemed legit.These are real places.I may actually want to visit had they not also enabled people to bring children and teens.The places look beautiful and relaxing.
I found the albums for both sites disturbing.Maybe I'm a prude though.It showed adults and children all running around naked together.
As a parent there is no way in hell I would take my little boy to a place where strangers were going to see him naked and he was going to see them.If it was all kids I might consider it as a way to get him comfortable with nudity bc from what I understand it does foster healthy body views.But throw all those naked adults in there and it just becomes WRONG.

I think your friend should have a serious talk with her husband to find out exactly what pulled him to view a nudist site and the pics.It's possible he was curious about the lifestyle and didn't realize they'd be so blatant with posting nude photos of children and teens on the site.

I know I was shocked at what the two sites I viewed posted.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

This is purely my opinion. I don't have any "facts" or "studies" or case law to back it up, and I'm not going to look for any. 

My father was a pedophile who took up photography. When he was going to prison, he admitted that his interest in photography was primarily to disarm girls and groom them to be vulnerable to his sexual approaches. He also had a high interest in nudist colonies and wanted to join one with my brother and me, but didn't because a) none were nearby, b) too costly and c) I threw a fit whenever the subject came up. His photos were like those mentioned in the Sentinel article - things he could say were innocent in most cases, like the photo of a napping toddler, taken from a position at the end of the bed, where her feet are splayed and underwear showing. However, he also progressed to outright porn shots, making my brother and me post together in masturbatory images, for instance.

I've studied and learned about pedophilia in great detail over the years as I've recovered from my childhood - to such a degree that I can sometimes spot its effects in people I've just met or recognize pedophiles when there's nothing pertaining to children even going on. How do I know I'm right? Because for some unknown reason, several have admitted to me when I asked or they've even gone so far as to tell me without prompting from me at all.

Today, I live in an area where there's a nudist colony (Camp Gaea) in the county, and know three people who have made this site a regular part of their lifestyles. All three are people I believe have a tendency toward children, too, based on the behavioral patterns I have seen in pedophiles:

1. Typically passive personality among peers.
2. Sexual innuendoes peppered into conversation with near strangers and at inappropriate times. 
3. An unusually high "supportive" belief system for women and children that is noticeably different from the average man's. Saying things like "Women/children are treated horribly in our society and they deserve to be protected. Men are jerks!" This is a huge red flag for me. 
4. General social awkwardness. 


None of these things by itself is enough to say that someone's a pedophile, but if ALL of these are present, I certainly go on high alert.


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## Self Help (Oct 22, 2013)

Let me start by saying that I personally dont have a problem with porn as long as it doesnt negatively effect the relationship. I do believe that children should not be involved what so ever. The children thing definately crosses the line. Is her problem with porn in general? Has she talked with her husband about this to find out where his head is at on the topic. Could it be that he just stumbled across this site or was he actively watching?
I think a good sit down with her husband is in order.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Thanks so much for the replies!

trey-I get what you are trying to say. I don't think she would know how to go about that though. Not sure anyone would. I also agree its not something I would want on my hard drive either, because you never know. 

Vermisciousknid- Thanks for sharing the link, that was a real eye opener, you just never know about people. 

AgentD- I agree with what you are saying. 

ScarletBegonias- I also agree with what you are saying. I feel the same way you do. I do think she needs to have a talk with her husband. 

Kathy- My heart goes out to you! I had no clue those things happened and went on in your life! How terrible. I appreciate you sharing and helping others to become aware of what could possibly be happening. 

Self Help- As I stated in my original post, she doesn't have a problem with porn, it was these particular sites she saw that bothered her only. Yes, she needs to have a talk with her husband. I spoke with her again a bit ago and she did say when he got in from work at some point tonight she would be talking with him.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

If my husband was visiting websites with naked children, I would shut it down. What if he was falsely accused of child molestation & his computer was seized? That would not bode well for him in court.

Viewing pics of naked children that are not your own is morally wrong, if not illegal.

The fact that it is under the guise of a hippy-dippy "nudist colony" is ridiculous.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Is there any point in talking to him? If she is a very good judge of body language and all the other unsaid things, reading between the lines, etc, then yes. But he is never going to say 'yes, I look at the sites because I like to see naked children'! 

She should monitor. If he doesn't suggest/instigate discussion on nudist camp in the next 1 month, it is dodgy. If he carries on looking with no discussion, definitely dodgy. If he shows nudist tendencies i.e. happy in his own skin, freely walks naked and actively wants to in the privacy of home between the 2 of them, it is unlikely too weird. If he is not, definitely weird! 

If she has children....exit fast. 

I am assuming they are not a tribal rainforest family?


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