# Wondering if im thinking to much



## kdm913 (Apr 9, 2012)

I think I am thinking about this issue way to much. Tell me what you think.....

Over the last few months my husbands sex drive has dropped a lot. But to have you understand a little about us I want to start from when we met...

Of course like any new relationship, you cant keep your hands off each other. We would do it several times a week. Sometimes a few times a day. I was pregnant when he met me and as I grew bigger, and he was all about finding ways that worked for us. After I had my son I got postpartum depression. As anyone knows depression really screws you up. It took everything he had to get me to make love. I got better and got pregnant again when my first son was around 1. At 31 weeks i went into labor and we ended up loosing the baby. The depression returned worse then before and I ended up leaving for a few days. We worked things out, as you can see, and helped each other get through it. Now fast forward about 3 years. Our love making has slowed down a bit to maybe 2 times a month. I was ok with that for a while cause I thought if you had it all the time the feeling would just get old. Now married 5 1/2 years Something has changed in me that im not sure what it is. I have went from being ok with twice a month to wanting him everyday. He is sooo not into that. 

Now to tell you a little about him....
He is 26, bipolar, and has back pain a lot and I believe depression. Now I know what it is like to have depression so I know what he is feeling. Even though I want him everyday, I dont try because I know the answer will be no. I have talked to him about this and he said a few months back that he doesnt want it as much because he had to beg early in our relationship. That I took the fun out of it. (Im sorry but I couldnt help it). Now recently, it has changed to I dont want it because I hate the way my body looks. He has a belly on him but no fat anywhere else. I tell him he is sexy which I truly believe he is the sexiest person I know. He just thinks I am lying. So I tell him if he hates the belly then do something about it. He has a few guys friends he can go work out with but he has been saying for several months that he is going to work out. Not once has he gone. I am not the most fit person either and could use some muscle building. I also have said for awhile that I am going to go to the gym. My only problem is having someone watch my kids. But I think I have found the solution for that and think I will actually go tomorrow afternoon. Im just hoping if I start he will as well. I know that when guys work out their testosterone busts and they want more sex. I just really hope so. Maybe we will both feel better and loose the belly so his back will stop hurting as much and feel great to do A LOT....

Anyway, I think this forum was mostly just to see my thoughts on paper and maybe what you guys think.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Sorry you have been through so much. Bipolar people's sexuality is very tied into their mood. I was with a guy who would go from wanting it every day and masturbating three times a day to going a month without sex when he was depressed. 
I don't think he's really recognizing the true problem is with him. I got the same line from my ex, that he had to go without for so long at the end of my pregnancy and after giving birth that he just couldn't get himself back to wanting to ask for it anymore. Does your h take medication for his disorder? Is he in counseling?
Also have you both grieved for the child that you lost?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kdm913 (Apr 9, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> Does your h take medication for his disorder? Is he in counseling?
> Also have you both grieved for the child that you lost?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He is on medication for his disorder. He sees a doctor about it every once in a while. 
We have grieved over loosing our child. Its been 4 years.


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