# Not Giving Up



## Banff (Feb 8, 2010)

*Moving Ahead*

So its been several months. Lots of counseling. Things seem to be going much better. But I still have some doubts and worry. How long does this go on? And what steps can I do to stay focused on the future and not worry over the past. Looking for input from others who have done it and what worked.
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## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

Glad to hear things are going well for you. Not sure I can offer any words of wisdom. It's been 5 months for me, since I found out of my H's A. We too, are doing well and I am very confident and hopeful of our future. Many things in our marriage have changed for the better. As to what steps - I can only say I am still learning. Sometimes it's a constant and conscious effort to stay focused on the future and not relive the past. I still have my moments and/or days where that's where my mind wanders and I have to concentrate on shifting my focus. Times when my heart sinks when something will remind me of what happened, etc. But all I can do is "stay the course" and move on. 

Good Luck to you!


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## Momof3kids (Nov 24, 2009)

For me, it was about changing my mindset, about finding reasons to stay in the present rather than allowing my mind to drift backwards into the past. Ever heard of a gratitude journal? I took that and modified it, writing at least 3-5 things daily that I appreciated about my spouse. Some days it was really easy; some days it was really difficult. On those difficult days, it was little things - like "I appreciate him for taking out the trash" or "I appreciate that he started a load of laundry." It forced me to focus on positive things; it changed my mindset by making me very conscious of what I was thinking about and dwelling on. Just a suggestion...


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