# When does it get easier



## devotedandheartbrokenwife (Oct 2, 2009)

Here's a link to my story so far: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-...-over-i-dont-know-what-do-long-long-post.html

It's long but just to give you the jist of things.

My question is, when does the pain stop? I have days when it seems that I'm getting stronger and then days like today when I sit at my desk fighting back tears terrified that I'll never get to kiss my husband again, that I'll never hear him say I adore you again, that I'll never get to see what our children would have looked like. I miss him so much. He won't say that it's over but he seems terrified to give me false hope in fear of hurting me more than necessary so he doesn't give me any hope that he will ask me to come back home eventually either. He's so confused and I really don't think he knows what he wants. I just want the pain to stop. When does it get easier?


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

In time it will stop. The days of feeling stronger will grow and those like today will fall away. I can't tell you when, I can only say that it will.

I know your pain. I have good and bad days as well. You've got to just be you again. Try to enjoy life as much as possible.


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## mls31 (Aug 22, 2009)

I don't know when the pain goes away either. I have days when I feel like I'm ready to move on and I'm ready to do it alone. Then there are other days where I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. 

I totally understand how you feel about the children issue. I had this whole plan where I would settle down with my new job, get pregnant in 2 years and cash in on all of my sick leave and have a nice long maternity leave. It is crushing to know those dreams are gone. 

Keep your head up. New dreams and plans will soon replace the ones you had or at least I keep telling myself that.


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

In my experience you keep on having the ups and downs but with time it is less likely that you will have a whole day when you are down - the pain can still be intense and soul destroying but it is usually balanced by a part of time in the day when you are ok and not actually feeling as though something is torturing you....

now when I get the intense pain I remind myself that it will pass - because I know it will - I am a bit more detached from it...

are you seeing a counsellor?

one thing I learnt from mine was that we hold onto the pain because we think it is our only connection to this person...

I am slowly learning that I can still have a healthy and positive connection to my H and not one based on pain....

does this make any sense?


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