# Red flag



## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

I recently noticed a "talk" app on my W's adroid phone. I opened it, and it went to a gmail account, which she has not had previously. I tried to open the account with all the passwords that she's used previously, to no avail. Things have gone really well for us for the last several years. I hate to think the SOS is starting up again (or maybe never ended). Any of you techies out there with suggestions?


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

You can always try to find a phone key logger that would enable you to gain access to passwords etc,.

Have you got a history of infidelity in your marriage?

Are there any other changes that are out of the ordinary that you have noticed?


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## JadedHusband (Aug 17, 2013)

They may have a google account to use the Play Store and to be able to download and install apps
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

river rat said:


> I recently noticed a "talk" app on my W's adroid phone. I opened it, and it went to a gmail account, which she has not had previously. I tried to open the account with all the passwords that she's used previously, to no avail. Things have gone really well for us for the last several years. I hate to think the SOS is starting up again (or maybe never ended). Any of you techies out there with suggestions?


What have you been doing to monitor the situation?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

SOS = same old stuff? Make an initial appointment well, make two. One with a counsellor one with a divorce lawyer. 

Show them to your wife and ask her her which she thinks would be most appropriate?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I use this tapatalk app and I do use the lock for it. I don't have anything to hide from my husband and I have never said anything negative about him, I lock it since I don't want my kids in my personal business. My kids are always on my iPod touch.

If my husband asked me to open the app up, I'd do it in a heartbeat.


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

The infidelity occurred many years ago. If I'd had the information from this forum at that time, I'd have done things a lot differently. But since that time, I've been able to move on with an inner strength that I did not possess at that time. I don't think I'm going to monitor at all. I'm going to ask her to open that gmail account. If she refuses, I'll have all the information I need, and will respond accordingly.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

river rat said:


> The infidelity occurred many years ago. If I'd had the information from this forum at that time, I'd have done things a lot differently. But since that time, I've been able to move on with an inner strength that I did not possess at that time. I don't think I'm going to monitor at all. I'm going to ask her to open that gmail account. If she refuses, I'll have all the information I need, and will respond accordingly.



You have every right. Don't flinch and DO NOT apologize for asking.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

kristin2349 said:


> You have every right. Don't flinch and DO NOT apologize for asking.


Hopefully she'll say: "Oh, sorry! I never thought! Here! Please take a look!"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

What if the emails in her secret account were of general nature? Would you divorce her for that? Did you set any boundaries with her since her affair about 10 years ago?

Looking back at some of your posts, I assume you both are in your 50's. Do you consider yourself strong enough to start a new life without her? What sort/level of evidence do you need for that?

If you want more evidence than a secret app and email account, perhaps you should gather more info before confronting.


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

Moving ahead. Will post changes, if any. And, yes I could start life anew if needed.


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

Key logger. Weightlifter has all the recon stuff. 

But here's a few- 

Keylogger | Computer Monitoring Software | WebWatcher

Employee Monitoring Software | Parental Software | SpectorSoft

ContentProtect Pro: Internet Filtering and Computer Monitoring Software | ContentWatch


In my opinion, web watcher is easily the best. Easily. 

You need to recon a bit. I really don't know what else to say. You have a cheater on your hands. I read your threads. And I do think, like one of the titles of your threads, you did rugsweep it. I think you have or did most the the "heavy lifting". 

I would investigate and be prepared.


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## Janky (Nov 26, 2013)

river rat said:


> The infidelity occurred many years ago. If I'd had the information from this forum at that time, I'd have done things a lot differently. But since that time, I've been able to move on with an inner strength that I did not possess at that time. I don't think I'm going to monitor at all. I'm going to ask her to open that gmail account. If she refuses, I'll have all the information I need, and will respond accordingly.


Since you already went through this before, I wouldnt hesitate to ask her about the app or email account.

I can see doing recon the first time around but not the second.

You might want to think about how you are going to phrase the question just in case it turns out to be nothing.

Good luck, I hope it turns out to be nothing.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

you are totally and absolutly right, I support you 100%, you just have sit her ask her to open te account in that moment in front of you, and any excuse or accusation of insecurity, you know exactly what it means.

you don't need drama or investigations, there is a precedent, she knows it, any excuse, any delay, any lie (like "I forgot the password"), is just falling in the stupid WS game.

good luck, and don't accept any other answer than "here dear, is open, check it" that is the only acceptable answer.


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

I appreciate the input. I asked her to open the acct, and got the "I just opened that account when I set up my phone ( a year ago) and haven't used it since. I don't know the password." Hmmm. So I went to Gmail and used the help tab and reset the password. Took 5 minutes. It is a non-functioning account. So either she's telling the truth, or she deleted the account before I got to my computer. For now, I'll keep on smiling and keep my ear to the ground.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

river rat said:


> I appreciate the input. I asked her to open the acct, and got the "I just opened that account when I set up my phone ( a year ago) and haven't used it since. I don't know the password." Hmmm. So I went to Gmail and used the help tab and reset the password. Took 5 minutes. It is a non-functioning account. So either she's telling the truth, or she deleted the account before I got to my computer. For now, I'll keep on smiling and keep my ear to the ground.


I literally did exactly the same thing with my first android because I couldn't get it to accept my existing gmail account.

I wouldn't count this as a red flag. I wouldn't even count it as a yellow flag on it's own, only if you have a bunch of other red flags to worry about.


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## Janky (Nov 26, 2013)

river rat said:


> I appreciate the input. I asked her to open the acct, and got the "I just opened that account when I set up my phone ( a year ago) and haven't used it since. I don't know the password." Hmmm. So I went to Gmail and used the help tab and reset the password. Took 5 minutes. It is a non-functioning account. So either she's telling the truth, or she deleted the account before I got to my computer. For now, I'll keep on smiling and keep my ear to the ground.


Good to hear, Im glad something turned out to be nothing for a change.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

I got a Samsung 7 inch tablet for Christmas last year. It has android on it. If I remember correctly, I had to open a g-mail acct that I never used or intend to since I hate how google spies on everyone. Using their email an then getting adds about things in the emails or sites I have been to irritates me to no end.

Of course I get emails from people, especially google on that acct. Keep an I on the acct for a while to see if emails from anyone pop up. That will tell you if its really inactive. IDK, I just checked mine and there are 141 unread emails on it. Mostly google alerts it looks like.

Does she keep a close eye on her phone or does she leave it lying around.


On a side note, my Samsung tablet really sucks compared to my nookHD. The nook is an android too and it doesn't know about any gmail accts.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

river rat said:


> I appreciate the input. I asked her to open the acct, and got the "I just opened that account when I set up my phone ( a year ago) and haven't used it since. I don't know the password." Hmmm. So I went to Gmail and used the help tab and reset the password. Took 5 minutes. It is a non-functioning account. So either she's telling the truth, or she deleted the account before I got to my computer. For now, I'll keep on smiling and keep my ear to the ground.


Ask her to delete the chat app ...... now.


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> SOS = same old stuff? Make an initial appointment well, make two. One with a counsellor one with a divorce lawyer.
> 
> Show them to your wife and ask her her which she thinks would be most appropriate?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I like that.


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## damagedgoods1 (Nov 8, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> Ask her to delete the chat app ...... now.


I just got an Android smartphone a few months ago and there were a bunch of preloaded apps on it that I never intended to use, including some sort of chat app. I tried deleting the "chat app" but it wouldn't let me since it was pre-loaded. So annoying!


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Check the sent message folder, archived messages and look in all folders. Then let it go if it is empty. Many Android Smart Phones make you open a google account, as everyone is telling you.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

> *But she never actually admitted it. *I stayed with her because I loved her, and because I did not want to inflict my pain on my children. I arrived at a peaceful state of mind.
> 
> 
> Which brings me to today, and the topic of my thread. A week ago, we were having a conversation, and she remarked, " I want to thank you for not leaving me." I knew at that point, that if I wanted to get the full truth, that was the moment.* But I made a decision. I am happy with my life. I have moved past all the pain and confusion of those years.* The only thing to be gained, would be to allow her to assuage her guilt. I chose to let that moment pass.



Taken from your old thread. Something for you to think about. You never got the truth. She never confessed. Maybe it is time you confronted the whole situation ?

How did she react to your questions?(How did you go about questioning her ?) Do you think it hurt her feelings ?


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Which chat ap?


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