# Ex suffered from bi-polar and depression and...



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

.....it's one of the big reasons she is now my "ex", because of the fact I could just no longer handle the roller coaster she put us through and all of her weird behavior and moods. She was taking meds for it when we first met but like a lot of people that suffer from this - she kept going on & off them, and I could always tell when she did because the bizarre behavior and strange moods would kick in as a result.

I do feel sorry for her and I hope that she gets the total help she needs, and until that happens my advice for her would be to stay SINGLE and just try and enjoy life raising her two kids and not drag anyone else into all that(she's now been married and divorced THREE times). Anyone else going through this themselves or have an ex who was?


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## tris101912 (May 3, 2012)

I found out a few years ago after a few years of depression and erratic and self-destructive behavior that I had bipolar II. I put my wife through hell, but at the same time she wasn't there for me right when I needed her the most. I held alot of resentment towards her because she was very immasculating since she was the primary breadwinner and expected me to do much more around the house without appreciating that somedays it took all the strength I had just to get out of bed and go to work. So I drank alot and avoided going out with her because I felt a great deal of anxiety around lots of people. I neglected her needs and did my best to spite her, so her expectations for me to be lazy actually became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This also led to an emotional affair on her behalf from someone who was willing to listen and empathize with her but with the ulterior motive of getting in her pants. She swears nothing physical happened, but on three occassions I looked online and discovered that they had been texting incessantly and she was confiding about things that should have been between us or at least with a female friend. The last time I busted her, after I left for a few days, she apologized profusely and confessed that she got off on the banter, enjoyed the attention and liked keeping a secret from me.

The moral of the story is that I know why you feel the way you do about and it's completely understandable for you to look out for your own needs, but her moods are often beyond her control and having someone there for her would make all the diffrence in her life if she's anything like me. I wish my wife would have seen that. I don't know which your ex is, but I do know that bipolar II is much less severe than bipolar I.

Good luck


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

tris101912 said:


> I found out a few years ago after a few years of depression and erratic and self-destructive behavior that I had bipolar II. I put my wife through hell, but at the same time she wasn't there for me right when I needed her the most. I held alot of resentment towards her because she was very immasculating since she was the primary breadwinner and expected me to do much more around the house without appreciating that somedays it took all the strength I had just to get out of bed and go to work. So I drank alot and avoided going out with her because I felt a great deal of anxiety around lots of people. I neglected her needs and did my best to spite her, so her expectations for me to be lazy actually became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
> 
> This also led to an emotional affair on her behalf from someone who was willing to listen and empathize with her but with the ulterior motive of getting in her pants. She swears nothing physical happened, but on three occassions I looked online and discovered that they had been texting incessantly and she was confiding about things that should have been between us or at least with a female friend. The last time I busted her, after I left for a few days, she apologized profusely and confessed that she got off on the banter, enjoyed the attention and liked keeping a secret from me.
> 
> ...


I'm not sure which one she is but it was always pretty bad and very bizarre at times, and she became my ex about 9 years ago and I have never regretted for one minute that I left her because I strongly feel it was absolutely the RIGHT decision.


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## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> I'm not sure which one she is but it was always pretty bad and very bizarre at times, and she became my ex about 9 years ago and I have never regretted for one minute that I left her because I strongly feel it was absolutely the RIGHT decision.


my soon to be ex suffers from a similar condition and he is a nightmare. For years i could not understand how someone could be so mean and down right selfish but thanks to this forum. It has given me closure. I cant wait for the day when he ll walk out of that door and out of our lives for good. He has been married several times too. What a real shame. Hope you find happiness like am praying for.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

My wife has been diagnosed with severe depression and bipolar. In my opinion, I think she's more likely BPD, but I'm no shrink. My wife can no longer work, so either I take care of her or she's sort of stuck. Anyway, that's what I promised I'd do. I couldn't blame anyone for throwing in the towel, though. If I had it to do over again, I'd run at the first sign of anyone diagnosed with any sort of "disorder". Marriage is hard enough for two healthy people.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

And not to blame it ALL on my ex, but I am not the most patient person in the world either and I have a very very short fuse as well.


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## jenniferswe (Apr 23, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> My wife has been diagnosed with severe depression and bipolar. In my opinion, I think she's more likely BPD, but I'm no shrink. My wife can no longer work, so either I take care of her or she's sort of stuck. Anyway, that's what I promised I'd do. I couldn't blame anyone for throwing in the towel, though. If I had it to do over again, I'd run at the first sign of anyone diagnosed with any sort of "disorder". Marriage is hard enough for two healthy people.


I'm bipolar and I've been on meds. for years. I'm sorry your wife was in such bad shape. We can't help having an illness. The brain is an organ like any other such as liver or a heart. Those malfunction too. I'm glad you're sticking by her and not casting her aside. It makes sad to hear that people will reject us for something we can't help though.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Rapid cycling mixed mode here. DSM code 296.64 is the most frequent write up. The French word is chantpleure.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

My wife was diagnosed with BP I in April after a severe manic episode/psychotic break. She had been through some depression but no one saw this coming. She is on meds now, but is refusing the diagnosis so I don't know how long she'll stay on them. I'm hoping that between her family and the therapist we can convince her before she quits treatment and snaps again. She ran off to another city and was gone for weeks before I brought her home.

I'm pretty torn up over everything too, and trying to keep things normal for our 2 kids. It's a crazy ride. I'm trying to hold things together, but she's making it harder and harder. She's putting me through hell and keeps threatening to leave me? The good news is that it explains a lot about her behavior over the last few years. Anyway, hopefully when things cool down and she's stable we'll figure it out.


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## EDCIJB (May 10, 2012)

I am going thru the same kind of stuff. I am always wondering what is going to come next. Some of the things that she does just doesn't make any sense at all. She has depression and not much motivation to do stuff right before her eyes. This is her third marriage and my first. I should have seen a lot of warning signs before we married.


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## jenniferswe (Apr 23, 2012)

It can take awhile for a bi-polar having a breakdown to get stabilized. It is trial and error for finding the right meds. It takes time for the meds. to balance the brain chemicals. Just hang in there and things should come around.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

EDCIJB said:


> I am going thru the same kind of stuff. I am always wondering what is going to come next. Some of the things that she does just doesn't make any sense at all. She has depression and not much motivation to do stuff right before her eyes. This is her third marriage and my first. I should have seen a lot of warning signs before we married.


I was my exes 3rd marriage as well, and I heard through the grapevine about a year ago that she's found her FOURTH victim - errrrrrr I mean husband.


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