# The Good Wife



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

My W is deep in menopause right now. Sex is physically not that rewarding to her. And yet she still makes an effort to ensure that part of our life continues. And I love her for it. And if I had an "off" switch for my desire I would throw that switch right now so she could take a break without worrying about how I would feel about it.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Love ya MEM. Is she taking HRT? low dose transdermal estrogen/progesterone has several benefits: it protects the brain from degeneration, ameliorates menopausal symptoms, prevents osteoporosis. The bad press that estrogen and progesterone therapy has gotten is not supported by current research. 

Have her search on the Mayo clinic site and Pubmed fir the latest info and recommendations. There is some creditable research that shows the benefits of soy along with HRT and high quality fish oil . Get her vit D levels checked as well - it should be btween 20 and 30 . Finally, stregnth training and meditation helps.

Best of everything to you and Mrs MEM. I am glad you have such a wonderful wife. Reading about the effect of her dedication on you inspires me to take care of my man as well as she does you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Catherine,
Your timing is flawless. She was with a good neighborhood friend tonight. And her friend has the patch you describe. Swears by it. Says she was losing her mind before she got it.

She is seeing her doctor this coming week.




Catherine602 said:


> Love ya MEM. Is she taking HRT? low dose transdermal estrogen/progesterone has several benefits: it protects the brain from degeneration, ameliorates menopausal symptoms, prevents osteoporosis. The bad press that estrogen and progesterone therapy has gotten is not supported by current research.
> 
> Have her search on the Mayo clinic site and Pubmed fir the latest info and recommendations. There is some creditable research that shows the benefits of soy along with HRT and high quality fish oil . Get her vit D levels checked as well - it should be btween 20 and 30 . Finally, stregnth training and meditation helps.
> 
> ...


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

MEM11363 said:


> My W is deep in menopause right now. Sex is physically not that rewarding to her. And yet she still makes an effort to ensure that part of our life continues. And I love her for it. And if I had an "off" switch for my desire I would throw that switch right now so she could take a break without worrying about how I would feel about it.


Sounds like both of you care deeply for each other. I suspect that your own admiration for her has a lot to do with her willingness to put your needs above her's. Thanks for the post.


----------



## CH (May 18, 2010)

Wait until she gets past it and her sex drive goes in overdrive.

I hope you're saving up for that ride, because it's payback time!!!!


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

H,
I think that is right. I have been away all week on business. Flew in this afternoon. Tonight in bed she was just so sad. Cumulative kid stuff. So we hung out and I just caressed her, and gave her a massage and held her. She kept saying how she doesn't deserve me because she has been depressed lately. After a couple hours she asked if I wanted to make love. 




Halien said:


> Sounds like both of you care deeply for each other. I suspect that your own admiration for her has a lot to do with her willingness to put your needs above her's. Thanks for the post.


----------



## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

MEM11363 said:


> My W is deep in menopause right now. Sex is physically not that rewarding to her. And yet she still makes an effort to ensure that part of our life continues. And I love her for it. And if I had an "off" switch for my desire I would throw that switch right now so she could take a break without worrying about how I would feel about it.


You should be banned from this forum as you make so many men jealous! Let me tell you this, though: if she loves you and you love her so much, I am sure you know how to press the off switch pretty often.

Anyways, you are a lucky guy.


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

estrogen worked well for my wife but the drive was still a little off. switched her to estrogen with a dash of testosterone and WOWWWW!!!!


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Thank you for the tip Stonewall. She is seeing the doctor tomorrow. 




Stonewall said:


> estrogen worked well for my wife but the drive was still a little off. switched her to estrogen with a dash of testosterone and WOWWWW!!!!


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Well, you sound like a good husband for that good wife. 

For some women, menopause and peri-menopause can be so difficult. A husband being able to be supportive of his wife during that time is so important. Here's a nice article for you to read about just that: What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Menopause - FamilyLife.com

Like all things in life, this too shall pass. I have a quote posted in my home office. It says "Even the longest of days will come to an end." I'm hoping that some of those long days will come to a close for you and your wife, and you'll be on the other side of it soon.

Best wishes.


----------



## LostMyPath (Oct 4, 2011)

Menopause is the transition period in a woman's life when her ovaries stop producing eggs, her body produces less estrogen and progesterone, and menstruation becomes less frequent, eventually stopping altogether.



When exactly does this start? My wife is only 19 but...heads up?

Also, with everything your wife is going through, it would help if you just laid back a bit, gave more massages hot baths with candles, breakfasts in bed, spa visits, date nights....


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

LostMyPath said:


> When exactly does this start? My wife is only 19 but...heads up?


Women first typically go through a period of time called peri-menopause which lasts sometimes only months while for other sometimes many years where their hormones start to fluctuate and they have changing cycles, mood swings, fatigue, hot flashes/night sweats prior to the cessation of periods, which is termed menopause. Average time in peri-menopause, my OB/GYN told me, is around 4 years.

Peri-menopause most typically starts in the 30's or the 40's. The average age of menopause (complete cessation of cycles) is 51 in the US. Every woman is different as to when peri-menopause and menopause starts and the degree of symptoms they have. Looking to what your wife's mother and grandmother went through can sometimes be a good indication. 

Perimenopause - MayoClinic.com

Best wishes.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

mem, do you and your wife discuss this issue alot? i mean does she keep you updated on her feelings, thoughts, progress, when it started, what to do about it, how to help her, etc...

my wife is very bad about keeping me updated on her health issues, and i believe menopause has started with her, she just doesnt want to discuss it so i am powerless to know what she is going through and how i can help her with it. its frustrating for me.


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

That MEM, is what we call a "gamer". Comes to play during a snow storm, heat wave, or injury.

Congrats to the both of you.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Okeydokie,
She does not always volunteer info. But if I ask direct questions I get straight and honest answers.

I "also" approach this stuff in a soft manner where possible.
I might open with "I know menopause impacts desire. Are you ok? Is there
Anything I can do?". And then I listen. 

Fwiw: Friday night after 2 hours of pouring her heart out to me in bed she asked me: "do
you want to make love"? This was definitely a "guilt driven" offer.
I just smiled and asked her "what do you think we've been doing for the last couple hours"?

And she hugged me and we went to sleep. And in the morning she woke me up if you
Get my drift. It helps a lot she feels safe enough to totally open up with me. It
Was not always like that.



okeydokie said:


> mem, do you and your wife discuss this issue alot? i mean does she keep you updated on her feelings, thoughts, progress, when it started, what to do about it, how to help her, etc...
> 
> my wife is very bad about keeping me updated on her health issues, and i believe menopause has started with her, she just doesnt want to discuss it so i am powerless to know what she is going through and how i can help her with it. its frustrating for me.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Enchantment,
I think the best thing that comes from this is trust. I remember this sci fi story I once read. This race of hybrids - mostly human but with some "cat" like features - had this thing they did. So the "cat" like stuff included razor sharp teeth. So the ultimate sign of trust between a mating pair was the throat kiss. Once of them would tilt their head back and let the other kiss their throat. Thing is - they were totally vulnerable to being bitten by their partner - bitten and dead. 

So friday night when my W was feeling totally vulnerable. Completely as if I would be better off with someone else. It reminded be of that story. It feels special when someone opens up and trusts you completely. 






Enchantment said:


> Well, you sound like a good husband for that good wife.
> 
> For some women, menopause and peri-menopause can be so difficult. A husband being able to be supportive of his wife during that time is so important. Here's a nice article for you to read about just that: What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Menopause - FamilyLife.com
> 
> ...


----------



## Michelle27 (Nov 8, 2010)

This post brings tears to my eyes. It's a snippet from the marriage of my dreams. *sigh*


----------



## realitybites (Oct 12, 2011)

I think I can learn much from MEM. :smthumbup:


----------

