# Personality Clash/ Communication Issues



## PaintLife (Feb 11, 2012)

Hi, this is my very first post. I am currently separated from my husband and we are heading in the direction of divorce. I think that I should say that I am in my mid-20s and my husband and I got married after only 8 months of dating. We had been friends for 5 years before we starting dating. We seemed to be totally compatible until about 6 months after we got married. Oh, I think I should also say that I have OCD and experienced something called Relationship OCD which was hard for me to deal with and only came about after we got married. (Relationship OCD refers to an excessive worry about the relationship. I.E. I was constantly worried if I was being the best person I could be to my husband, and then I also constantly worried if my husband was being the nicest person to me). 

Honestly, we started having issues because I started to notice that the way he talked to me changed. He wasn't acting mean or verbally abusing me, however his personality became more sarcastic and opinionated. I started to wonder if I enjoyed the way he talked and his "new-to-me" personality. Like I said, he wasn't verbally mean or abusive, he just had a personality that I was feeling like I wasn't happy about. Maybe in the beginning of our relationship I was disillusioned about him, and I only discovered his true personality when we had become comfortable enough around each other that we "let it all hang out". 

My big question for this forum is: Has anyone else experienced this? Where you thought your wife/husband was one way, then you learned more about them and afterward you started to feel like maybe you were less happy about the their "new" personality. 

Also, has anyone else experienced what I specifically talked about, concerning the way a person talks? My husband was always very nice, but maybe abrupt, and would let you know if you were wrong. I'm pretty sensitive and started to worry that he was telling me that I was being "ridiculous" about something. Again, not really in a mean way, but he approached situations so differently then I did that I got confused about what he was really saying to me. His family talks like him, so I know that they all understand each other. I came from a very quiet family so this way of communicating was different for me.


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