# Only child leaving for college soon



## lisalovestom (Oct 10, 2010)

HI everyone,

I am an absolute mess and could use some support! First off, I am most definitely starting menopause - or atleast perimenopause. Either way I am very emotional and hormonal. Pretty much PMS to the extreme! Plus our only child, a daughter who I have homeschooled since 2nd grade, is leaving for college in two weeks. She's going to a small Christian college in Indiana. She'll be four hours from home.

All the emotions, both good and bad to be honest, mixed with my hormonal issues are really causing havoc on me. I am a mess. Most the time I feel like I am on the verge of tears and lots of times they actually do fall. Other times I'm biting either my husband or my daughter's head off. Then I feel guilty for that and cry. It's a mess!

Not to mention things are getting more and more busy as we get closer to time to take her to Indiana. We've got tons of shopping to do, doctor's appointments, eye appointments, opening a bank account for her, so on and so on. The more running we do the more tired and stressed I feel.

On top of all of that my daughter is an emotional time bomb herself. Understandably so, of course! She wants to spend tons of time with me because she is going to miss me but then she acts as though I'm bugging her. I know it is just her own stress, emotions and mixed feelings but it's hard to handle sometimes.

I know that her going off to college is the absolute best thing she could be doing. It's going to be so great for her to meet new people and experience everything she can at school. It'll also be good for her to be away from home & on her own. I feel secure that she'll be fine, other than possibly some homesickness or growing pains. 

Although I feel guilty sometimes I also know that it is going to be so great for me to have her away at college. For so many years my life has revolved around parenting and schooling her. It'll be nice to just focus on the stuff I want to do and to have time for all the crafting I love. 

It's also going to be great for my husband and I. We are really looking forward to having the house to ourselves. The freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want, where ever we want is going to fantastic. It'll be so nice to spend lots of time together and focusing only on each other.

All of those are great, and completely true, reasons why this transition is a good one. BUT that doesn't change all the emotions that are running through my body. It's just such a big change. I want to find a better way to deal with it. But yet honestly part of me feels like I just need to get through the next couple weeks the best I can.

Sorry this is so long but I really needed to vent. Any advice or just support would be greatly appreciated!

Bye,
Lisa in Ohio


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## Sicktomystomach (Aug 5, 2011)

It's so hard when we have an empty nest. I have two children. It really bothered me when our daughter went to college but she was so happy and now has her own life. We see her often. But it was even harder with my son who fought a serious illness most of his life (epilepsy). The drs. have been able to stop his seizures for almost 7 years now and he got his drivers license a year later. Saying good-bye to him at college,seeing him drive a car.....all where terribly hard on me after protecting him so many years of his life. I am thankful to God he CAN have his own life.. I had the same emotions you had. I missed them SO much and my life seemed over to me. The house was so quiet and I missed those days of childrens laughter and pool parties and sleep overs. I even missed staying up all night with them when they were sick. But I remember how I couldn't wait to get out into the world. But my Mother would never let go,even after we all married. The result is none of us speak to her really. So,I knew I had to let go. As a result,I have two children I love and see and talk to often. No grandkids yet.
But,when you think about it,you are doing what a parent is supposed to do.....let them fly. She will love you even more for that. I STILL miss my kids. The house is STILL too quiet for me and I can hardly wait to hear a grandchild's voice singing in my ears. But I say nothing. That's up to them.
I just stay really busy. I recently became very ill,almost died,but my kids,their spouses and my husband were there for me. 
This is the way life works. We Mothers have a hard time because they grew under our hearts for 9 months. We knew them before our husbands did. 
Stay as busy as you can. If it gets too bad,go to your dr. and tell him how you feel. You may need meds for awhile since you are going through menopause at the same time.
Let us know how you are doing!


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

lisalovestom said:


> HI everyone,
> 
> I am an absolute mess and could use some support! First off, I am most definitely starting menopause - or atleast perimenopause. Either way I am very emotional and hormonal. Pretty much PMS to the extreme! Plus our only child, a daughter who I have homeschooled since 2nd grade, is leaving for college in two weeks. She's going to a small Christian college in Indiana. She'll be four hours from home.
> 
> ...


I was pregnant when my daughter left (2 hours away) last year and did well until she drove away. I bawled. She came home for summer (total nightmare), counting days til she goes again! LOL the idea of it is worse than the actuality. We texted lots, I visited lots, she came home weekends... Just the idea was hard, her being gone was ok.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

When we dropped off our 1st son at College with all his belongings, I cried all the way home. I looked back on our life together, all the fun times , with his siblings, suddenly realizing it will NEVER NEVER be the same again. There comes a certain sadness with this, it can't be helped. 

It is about this same time I felt I fell into my "Mid Life Crisis" - and wanted to be "young" again, I focused so much on my husband, I wasn't even thinking much about my college bound son. 

I did end up writing him a letter about 2 weeks after he left (he is only 35 minutes away ) and I told him how proud we was on him , how we already missed him at home, how I know things will never be the same, and thanking him for the memories, all this mushy stuff. He knows I get like that. It would not be out of character. 

He saved the letter. I have 5 more at home, so this was not all that traumatic for me, if he was my ONLY, I think it would have been alot worse.

I was so happy to hear he was loving it, making friends. MY son loves College so much he jokes how he wants to be a Professional Student. This helped too , just knowing he was having the time of his life. He is going on his 3rd year, still loves it. 

It is an experience I personally missed in life. I am very thankful for his experiencing it.


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