# Am I over reacting?



## angelsmom (May 5, 2011)

Hi, I have a problem. I have been married for 2 years to a man who has a foot obsession. This is fine between us but when we are out anywhere he always has his eyes on every womans feet that walks by, especially in the spring and summer with so many wearing flip flops. I have told him over and over how this make me feel so disrespected by him but yet he still does it. I have had enough and i am thinking about divorce over this subject. Am i over reacting and should just let it go? I hate going out with him any more because I know the day will just end in my anger if i dont ignore it. What to do?


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

If he shows no regard for your feelings I'd tell him it is enuff for you to consider divorce. If he doesn't get it, you know where he stands and you can decide. Since this is sexual, I'd be upset, too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TemperToo (Apr 23, 2011)

Well, I can see how you might be worried that you are overreacting. But I can definitely see Clipclop's point. Your feelings ARE important and he needs to value them!

On the flip side, show me a man that doesn't "look" a bit. Whether it's feet, rears, or boobs, guys look. Heck, I look at shoulders, eyes, etc. There is a difference between looking and acting on it.... Just playing Devi's Advocate here!


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## elo123 (May 3, 2011)

If it makes you feel this way and there are not alot of other issues in the marriage and you have trouble discussing it or "putting it on the table" then maybe a marriage counselor may help. Maybe individual counseling for him if it is solely his problem and its an impulsive thing (which can be altered if one is willing to put in the time and energy). Try this first before cutting it totally off. There are other worse things to get divorced about, such as affairs, differences in money/spending, anger/abuse etc.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Worse? Doesn't matter. If it's unpleasant it's unpleasant. Obsessive behavior is very corrosive regardless of what it is.


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## elo123 (May 3, 2011)

worse as in if the problem can be worked on/correctable by the couple.


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## angelsmom (May 5, 2011)

he definately does this compulsively, when i say something about it he acts like he had no idea that he was doing it. I feel stupid sometimes after we fight about it, but ive had enough and it would feel so good just to poke him in the eye everytime he does it, that would probably be good therapy


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## elo123 (May 3, 2011)

I dont know if you can make some lemonade from lemons...put that foot fetish thing into your intimacy (sex life) some how to take the edge off...


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

He is being very disrespectful and it suits him to pretend he doesn't notice he's doing it.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

I think the prob is she has accommodated it and this is like telling her it isn't enough. If he stares unaware, like a dog over food, that'd creep anyone out and really mess with a relnship. He needs to get some self control.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I am a foot admirer too.

Believe me...he knows he's doing it. And it's blatant disrespect that is causing this. Even with all of our issues when I'm out with my wife I do not have my eyes on the ground staring. It's beyond rude.

I hope he wises up. This is totally preventable.


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## angelsmom (May 5, 2011)

i have always excepted that into our sex life and thats fine with me, i just cant except the constant wandering eyes. ive thought about making a huge scene like in the grocery store, maybe humiluation will stop this. im just at the end of my rope with it.


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## maggot brain (Nov 28, 2010)

Since you're considering divorce over this perhaps my suggestion won't seem drastic. I would simply give him a taste of his own medicine. Pick a body part you like, say the crotch. Tell him you love seeing a bulge in a man's crotch when he is wearing jeans or tight pants. Let your husband know when a particular bulgy crotch is approaching the next time you're sitting on a park bench or at the mall. He should get the hint.


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## elo123 (May 3, 2011)

maggot brain, nice suggestion but remember he's a guy...a male with sexual fetish problems - that might even turn him on. 

Wife: "Well then...I am starting to notice men's crotches and will look at them all the time..."

Husband: "Nice...!":smthumbup:


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I don't think this has anything to do with his fetish. I think it has everything to do with respect.

If he was a boob man and was starring at chests the whole time it would be just as bad.


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

sinnister said:


> I don't think this has anything to do with his fetish. I think it has everything to do with respect.


:iagree:


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## angelsmom (May 5, 2011)

thank you everyone, we had a serious talk last night and he agreed to some counciling.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

angelsmom said:


> thank you everyone, we had a serious talk last night and he agreed to some counciling.


that must be some foot fetish. I always liked my wife's feet too, but hers were enough for me. There was never a strong enough desire that I was checking out other women's feet in front of her.

How strong is his fetish? You mentioned that you incorporated it into sex. I always just liked my x's feet in a normal situation. Seeing some pointed toes during or perhaps a touch here and there was enough for me. Is his much deeper and more difficult to control?


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## gman95901 (May 19, 2011)

I am not about to condone the actions of the male spouse in question, because looking at another pair of feet when he has access to what appears to be a willing pair of his own, is simply wrong. As a 'foot guy' myself I can relate. We are visual creatures by nature, but we must learn to not be visually stimulated by those other than our spouse.

I try to respect my wife by not doing this, and she makes certain that she provides the visual stimulation that I crave. She wears sandals, anklets, and sports a bright pedicure whenever she can and this insures that my attention is always focused on her. I am not saying the the OP needs to do this, or question whether or not she is, but understanding how a 'foot guy' functions is half of the battle. 

I run a blog that I write with my wife, entitled, _Foot Fetish 101_ in which we relate our experience on the topic of feet within marriage. It isn't always easy, but it can work and be enjoyable...

just some insight...


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