# My husband found out about my ex and has left me :(



## someday (Apr 27, 2009)

Hi,

I fell in love with a senior at college 8 years ago (was 21 at the time) and went around with him for 3 months where we explored some physical stuff and also som necking for the first time. however he asked his parents about getting married to me and they refused. So he broke up with me. But some how i always felt I am a one man woman and was never willing to accept the break up. He moved to another state but i kept in touch with him and would keep asking if we could get back but though he loved me he was not willing to commit. Over the 7 yrs we met on n off but we never had sex because I always wanted to lose my virginity after marriage. 
after waiting for so many years i finally decided to move on. i compltely cut off from my ex. I met my husband and fell in love again. We got married after knowing each other for 4 months. During that entire period my husband's mom was dead against me and spread several rumours about me saying i was a loose woman, i sleep around with men as a job, i have had several abortions, etc. But all along my husband stood firmly by my side so i decided to marry him. I made a mistake of not telling him about my past relationship. I told him i had liked someone in college but it never worked out thats all.
I have given my husband full access to my laptop and all my email ids and chat ids. after 5 months of marriage my husband snooped around and found some old email n documents that i had shared with my ex before our marriage. without talking to me he just left our home and has returned to his mom's place. Despite my attempts to bring him back n convince him that i am completely committed to him he says he can never trust me again.
My husband has never even kissed another girl and he feels completely betrayed by my past and says he doesnt know who has married and he probably married me in haste. We have been apart for 45 days now. He refuses to return home and says his mom was right about me all along n i am really a woman of bad character. It breaks my heart when i hear that. Cos i know i am not a bad person, I have never been in touch with my ex after marriage. I was stupid enough to wait for a guy for 7 years for a 3 month relationship and be completely faithful to him too.No one else ever interested me.My husband says was not even a virgin because there was no rupture of hymen on our wedding night. I dont know what to do.
I love my husband very much. and after my disastrous first relationship, my marriage brought a lot of healing in my heart.
What do i do? How do i save my marriage? We have been married for almost 7 months now.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

wow his actions seemed pretty extreme. you cant really make him change. you'll have to accept how he feels. it was bad of you to lie and not tell him the whole truth about your past. im sure you knew how important it was and you probably hid it because you didnt want to lose him. that does not show a lot of respect for him on your part. part of really loving someone is wanting them to be happy and if he doesnt think he can be happy with you, then if you really loved and cared about him, you'd want him to do what is best for him. 

at the same time, dont you want someone that isnt so abrupt in their decisions? if he flips out over this bump in the road can you imagine how difficult your life will be? one thing goes wrong and he's saying horrible things about you and siding with all the horrible things his parents said about you. that just is not the kind of man id want to spend the rest of my life with.


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## he4she (Sep 3, 2010)

Your husband is a jealous ass, he is acting immature and showing his own insecurities. He needs to get over it, it is in the past. He is playing mind games with you. Tell him to stop this game or you are filing for a divorce, but you must be prepared to follow through any threats you make.


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