# I feel like I'm in the twilight zone ALL the time!



## FindingMyself!2019 (Aug 4, 2019)

So my husband and I have been married almost 12 years. We just have never been able to get things right from the very beginning. The majority of the marriage I have been really frustrated and felt so alone. Long story short he is a very passive person. He doesnt acknowledge my feelings or thoughts at all. I might as well be talking to a wall. He thinks I am complaining and being a b**** all the time. Says I talk to much and speak to him with disrespect. I used to when we first got married but realized that I couldnt do that and I stopped. He still sees me as that person though. Even though we are married it seems like we are living 2 separate lives. There is no partnership, no intimacy, no quality time, no bringing finances together, no nothing. We pay bills separate. I am on social security disability and pay 75% of the bills(he is an electrician by the way). He made the decision to buy his aunts home through rent to own. The house is not even livable. HE agreed to renovate the house, pay the rent, property taxes, and home insurance. But how can you do all of that when the property is still hers? She can say one day forget this and sell it for more because the property has been fixed up all ready and she will get more money. I told him dont do it we can do the traditional way. He did it anyway. I'm miserable living with his parent until he gets everything fixed. I think I need to leave him. Again we dont have a partnership, he doesnt listen to me and he makes decisions that I am not comfortable with.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Sounds like it has been a pretty lousy marriage from the get-go. From what you've written, it appears he has no positive attributes. Guess it's time to lawyer up and file. Sorry.


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## Rlc307 (Jan 14, 2018)

From what you explained it sounds like you two aren't even a couple. If there's no intimacy, no quality time and no thought about feelings or opinions then I don't personally see the point in staying. It sounds like there is nothing there.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You are right to be concerned about the rent-to-own if there are no legal documents spelling out the deal.

Are you thinking of divorcing your husband? It does not sound like there is any reason for you to continue like this.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Doesn’t sound like what a marriage is supposed to be. Why stay?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@FindingMyself!2019 I think I agree with you. You need to leave him.

However, would counselling help, do you think?


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

You cannot change him, but can change yourself. What do you want? In ten more years--make that five years, where do you want to be?

He avoids communicating because he doesn't like conflict. Bottom line, it sounds like there is little if any respect or trust for/in each other.

What are your choices? Which do you want to pursue? One, two, three, go...


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