# What am I supposed to do about this?



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

I am 17.. I have, the past few years, developed some major issues. No one really knows about it, because no one will understand. I'm insecure, I can't trust people, I feel like everyone is out to get me, I have no friends, and I'm worrying myself sick that my Fiancee is going to leave me or hurt me. Everyday it's a new battle for me and it's making me lose my mind. I have anxiety, and it's impossible for me to over come. I try so hard to be strong but it breaks me down every time. I've though of suicide, many many different ways. I've turned to smoking cigarettes and quit... I've cut, I used to before I met my fiancee. I'm just terrified I'm going to get hurt again and I will literally die if he's the one to hurt me. This is so hard for me to explain for anyone to get what I'm trying to say.. my fiancee, has given me NO reason to believe he's going to leave for.. I know I'm crazy, I can't help it. I have problems and I need help. Please help me. Please. I'm literally begging for help from anyone. Talk to me. Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix me. Is there any way TO fix me? Someone just please help me..
I've tried talking, I've tried everything. No one knows about my problems except for my fiancee and he doesn't know how to help and I'm scared to tell anyone else to try to get help because I don't want anyone to think any less of me or think I'm just STUPID for saying that I have problems... *Please *help me.....


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

You need to talk to your parents about this.

They can help you get some counseling.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You need some therapy.

You sure you should be getting married right now?


----------



## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

I was a self harmer/cutter. I turned to tattoos. Not only do they mean one step closer to not self harming or cutting it's also a physical reminder that I don't need to self harm or cut.

They also represent points in my life that have significant meaning (in a good way) that are constant reminders that I can be kind to myself, can allow myself to feel, can go on "normally".

It's kind of a middle ground - tattoos hurt in some places but are more acceptable than cutting or self harm in society.


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Talk to your parents and share your fears and the level of anxiety you feel.

There is counseling that can help, medications for anxiety and panic attacks and depression, and Cognitive Behavior Therapy that teaches you how to overcome your anxiety.

You are not the only person to suffer from serious anxiety. There are professionals out there who can help you. Now is a good time to do something about this because you have your whole life ahead of you and you don't have to live like this. But you do have to take a step toward helping yourself, and that step is to talk to your family until they truly understand how this is destroying your life.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

tacoma said:


> You need to talk to your parents about this.
> 
> They can help you get some counseling.



I'm not even around my parents anymore.. they can't help me..


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

norajane said:


> Talk to your parents and share your fears and the level of anxiety you feel.
> 
> There is counseling that can help, medications for anxiety and panic attacks and depression, and Cognitive Behavior Therapy that teaches you how to overcome your anxiety.
> 
> You are not the only person to suffer from serious anxiety. There are professionals out there who can help you. Now is a good time to do something about this because you have your whole life ahead of you and you don't have to live like this. But you do have to take a step toward helping yourself, and that step is to talk to your family until they truly understand how this is destroying your life.



Thank you.. a lot.. I didn't feel right about expressing this because I have always been afraid of being looked down on. You know? But I mean, I'm not around my parents.. I moved out on my 17th birthday, 2011. I don't know where I can seek help out.. Everything costs money and we have no money. that's just another one of my problems.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

that_girl said:


> You need some therapy.
> 
> You sure you should be getting married right now?


Yeah, I'm positive. He's the reason I'm able to open up now and talk about my problems... he's my backbone and what is holding me somewhat together...


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

CharlotteMarie said:


> I'm not even around my parents anymore.. they can't help me..


Do you have health insurance? Do you have a doctor? Ask your doctor to recommend a therapist who can help you.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

CantePe said:


> I was a self harmer/cutter. I turned to tattoos. Not only do they mean one step closer to not self harming or cutting it's also a physical reminder that I don't need to self harm or cut.
> 
> They also represent points in my life that have significant meaning (in a good way) that are constant reminders that I can be kind to myself, can allow myself to feel, can go on "normally".
> 
> It's kind of a middle ground - tattoos hurt in some places but are more acceptable than cutting or self harm in society.


I've not really thought about that. But it's really a better solution than scarring yourself up.. tattoos actually can cover the scars


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

norajane said:


> Do you have health insurance? Do you have a doctor? Ask your doctor to recommend a therapist who can help you.


No, when I moved out of my cousins house, due to a huge fight, she canceled my health insurance. My life is screwed.. I'm tellin' you...


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Charlotte you`re 17 whats the deal with your parents?

If they`re not abusive your best bet is getting back with them so they can give you a solid foundation to build your life up.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

tacoma said:


> Charlotte you`re 17 whats the deal with your parents?
> 
> If they`re not abusive your best bet is getting back with them so they can give you a solid foundation to build your life up.


I don't have a "deal" with my parents. They're broke and have no room for me in their house. It was best for me, and best for them for me to leave. You don't understand my situation...


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> You should postpone the wedding and get help.
> 
> You need to learn to love you before you can love someone else. What you are doing isn't fair to yourself or him.
> 
> ...



What isn't fair to him? I know how to love. I don't have to love my self. There's 4 people on this earth I love more than anything. And I know what it is. I know why I love them as much as I do. Nothing will change that for any of them..


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Spoken like a true 17 year old.

Being underage, you can get medical from the state...that is, if you live in the states. 

I wish you the best in life. There's nothing we can tell you that you'll listen to. You'll have to figure things out for yourself. 

but please look up help for the anxiety. That can happen to anyone and it just isn't fun to live with. At all.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Spoken like a true 17 year old.
> 
> Being underage, you can get medical from the state...that is, if you live in the states.
> 
> ...


I know that. But I had the insurance with the state but it got canceled and the only way to get it now is through food stamps in which I am not on.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> How is it fair for him to have to take care of a woman who is mentally unstable? How is it fair to not give him the happiest marriage possible? How is it fair to him to have a wife who can't stand on her own, so he constantly has to hold her up? That gets tiring.
> 
> Does that answer your question?


No it doesn't. Because we are going to have a happy marriage. He doesn't regret being with me. He even told me he is going to help me with everything. He IS helping me with everything even when I asked him to let me handle it on my own. He *WANTS *to do what he is doing because he loves me and that's all that matters.


----------



## meagain (Apr 9, 2012)

CharlotteMarie, what a beautiful name. I'm certain it fits you perfect. 
Please what ever you do, don't hurt yourself. You are already hurting and obviously you need help. You have admitted it and have taken some steps such as looking here for help. You are young and have more to offer in life then you know.
There are places and people you can talk to that are no cost. Ending your life is not the answer. Call some doctors and ask them where you can find the help you desperatly need. They will be able to help direct you. Make some friends, lots of them. Friends can give you the support you meed. Might not always be what you want to hear but for certain some you will help. 
Also I'm not religious but I do pray. Ask god for help and believe that he can help. Sometimes it take a long while for him to answer but for certain he will.
Chorolette, I hope that you are strong and can find what it is you need.
I too have a daughter that I rarely see and she too has issues. As a parent loseing her whould devistate me. I know you parents feel the same. You need to talk to them and even more so listen, listen with an open mind.
Good luck CharoletteMarie and keep posting here so we all know you are okay. I want to know........Andre


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> Ok.
> 
> Most of us here have gone through some of the hardest things marriage can weather and made it out to the other side, but you don’t have to listen to us. You will learn on your own someday, hopefully before you bring children into an unstable household.
> 
> ...



What is your problem??....


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

meagain said:


> CharlotteMarie, what a beautiful name. I'm certain it fits you perfect.
> Please what ever you do, don't hurt yourself. You are already hurting and obviously you need help. You have admitted it and have taken some steps such as looking here for help. You are young and have more to offer in life then you know.
> There are places and people you can talk to that are no cost. Ending your life is not the answer. Call some doctors and ask them where you can find the help you desperatly need. They will be able to help direct you. Make some friends, lots of them. Friends can give you the support you meed. Might not always be what you want to hear but for certain some you will help.
> Also I'm not religious but I do pray. Ask god for help and believe that he can help. Sometimes it take a long while for him to answer but for certain he will.
> ...



Thank you so much for not attacking me like everyone else. It means alot that you were so nice about it. Thank you so much and I will definitely keep posting on my progress..


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> Ok.
> 
> Most of us here have gone through some of the hardest things marriage can weather and made it out to the other side, but you don’t have to listen to us. You will learn on your own someday, hopefully before you bring children into an unstable household.
> 
> ...


So everyone who has problems is immature? What makes me so immature? That I'm making a life of my own with a man that I love? and when we do have kids, they will be brought into a VERY stable and safe home. I'm not going to have kids with the problems I'm going through right now. I'm not stupid. I'm going to do everything best for my kids. You can stop attacking me and go rant to someone who cares to hear your bull. Please go away.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

CharlotteMarie, I am sorry if my comments on the other thread were off topic or sounded mean. I am certianly not anti-marriage, but nor do I believe marriage EVER solves a problem, in fact it amplifies unresolved problems and in your case you readily admit you have many problems. It is wonderful that you have this kind caring man who is supporting you and showing you love - you have attached yourself to him as I believe our hearts are meant to do, but the blind faith you seem to have in him is very disturbing because he is not a perfect person either, nor can he do a single thing to fix the things you want to fix. When you pin your happiness on someone else you are setting yourself up to fail... you should look up codependency and realize that if you expect things to happen because you love this man and want to treat him well but by using him to fix you you are placing a huge burden on his shoulders, one that he cannot carry indefinitely. You say he will always be there but you've known him less than a year, there are so many things that you have yet to discover about him, things he is hiding whether intentionally or not. If he cannot carry your load, he faces stress or anxiety (as will happen in EVERY marriage at certain times) and breaks down, how will you be there to support him when that is what he needs?

It just seems that you are rushing into marriage as a romantic gesture to show him how much you are grateful for him and how much you are in love, willing to throw all else to the wind... that sounds wonderful except it is not an approach that can ever last. Unless this is for religious beliefs, there really is no reason or benefit to being married to someone. Just be with him, love him, love yourself and wait so that in two years, 5 years or 7 years down the road when you both have changed, if you've grown apart and are no longer willing or able to meet each others needs you will be saving so much more stress and difficulty (especially since you have such overwhelming anxiety issues).

I wish the best for you, and though you know I think marriage is not a good idea for someone like you, I just hope you can stop and deliberate and hopefully defer this marriage for another year or two atleast... but if you go through this weekend I send you my congratulations and wishes for a lifetime of happiness together. Please don't be afraid to come back to this board and post updates and use the people here to help with the challenges many of us have faced and gone through as well.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> "My life is screwed"
> 
> 
> This statement right here is one huge reason why I don't understand your rush to marry. Do you think maybe you are using it as an escape hatch?
> ...


I'm not expecting it to be anything. I know what it's going to be. I'm not immature like you guys think I am. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm putting myself into. But if I'm willing to tie myself down to one man the rest of my life. Isn't that my business?


----------



## meagain (Apr 9, 2012)

Your welcome and I'm happy to hear you will hang in there with us. I too am here for a reason concerning my relationship. I havn't even posted my own problem yet. I read yours and I want to help. I'm just a regular guy/dad that can relate with young kids/adults such as you. You will read stuff that will upset you but remember keep an open mind. 
I care about you. I might right stuff you don't like at times but I do care none the less.
Start by looking in the mirror every day and tell that person you see that you love her. If you don't like what you see in that mirror go look in an other. Start by loving youself Okay.


----------



## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> What isn't fair to him? I know how to love. I don't have to love my self. There's 4 people on this earth I love more than anything. And I know what it is. I know why I love them as much as I do. Nothing will change that for any of them..


If you can't love yourself, how can anyone else love you? Why would he love you?

These issues can ruin a relationship. They can lead to disrespect of your spouse. Loving yourself is an important part of being able to accept love from others. I am not recommending that you break up with your boyfriend. Rather, I suggest that you take your time, address your own issues, and open up to him to build your relationship prior to getting married.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> I don't have a "deal" with my parents. They're broke and have no room for me in their house. It was best for me, and best for them for me to leave. You don't understand my situation...


That`s probably because you haven`t explained it.

Apparently there is a "deal" with your parents.

They`re broke and have no room for you?

I have three kids, if I were broke AND homeless they`d be in the shelter with me.

No room for you?

Your best maybe only chance is to get into a stable situation somewhere.

Marriage at this point is a serious mistake.

You need mental health counseling.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Lon said:


> CharlotteMarie, I am sorry if my comments on the other thread were off topic or sounded mean. I am certianly not anti-marriage, but nor do I believe marriage EVER solves a problem, in fact it amplifies unresolved problems and in your case you readily admit you have many problems. It is wonderful that you have this kind caring man who is supporting you and showing you love - you have attached yourself to him as I believe our hearts are meant to do, but the blind faith you seem to have in him is very disturbing because he is not a perfect person either, nor can he do a single thing to fix the things you want to fix. When you pin your happiness on someone else you are setting yourself up to fail... you should look up codependency and realize that if you expect things to happen because you love this man and want to treat him well but by using him to fix you you are placing a huge burden on his shoulders, one that he cannot carry indefinitely. You say he will always be there but you've known him less than a year, there are so many things that you have yet to discover about him, things he is hiding whether intentionally or not. If he cannot carry your load, he faces stress or anxiety (as will happen in EVERY marriage at certain times) and breaks down, how will you be there to support him when that is what he needs?
> 
> It just seems that you are rushing into marriage as a romantic gesture to show him how much you are grateful for him and how much you are in love, willing to throw all else to the wind... that sounds wonderful except it is not an approach that can ever last. Unless this is for religious beliefs, there really is no reason or benefit to being married to someone. Just be with him, love him, love yourself and wait so that in two years, 5 years or 7 years down the road when you both have changed, if you've grown apart and are no longer willing or able to meet each others needs you will be saving so much more stress and difficulty (especially since you have such overwhelming anxiety issues).
> 
> I wish the best for you, and though you know I think marriage is not a good idea for someone like you, I just hope you can stop and deliberate and hopefully defer this marriage for another year or two atleast... but if you go through this weekend I send you my congratulations and wishes for a lifetime of happiness together. Please don't be afraid to come back to this board and post updates and use the people here to help with the challenges many of us have faced and gone through as well.



First off.. I'm not rushing into anything. And I'm NOT using him for anything. He knows I'm not using him and if he felt as if I were, he wouldn't be with me. He's with me because he loves and cares for me. Yes, he's helping me, and he's doing a great job of it. I asked him not to, but he chooses too. I'm sorry you feel this way. But this is our life and I don't see how my marriage became the topic when my problem was the mental issues. I'm not having relationship problems nor marriage problems. He and I are doing fine. Great actually. If we mess up, than we mess up. We will only learn from our own mistakes from here. I know it's going to be an up hill battle but we both are ready for anything that comes at us. I've known him over a year btw, we've been dating for almost 10 months. When you're observant, and pay attention to someone, and are with someone as much as we have been with each other. You tend to get to know them, sometimes even better than yourself. We know each other enough to be getting married. He knows all my past, I know all his past. There are some things about both of our pasts that neither of us should know about the other. But we are strong enough to tell the other because even if it's not healthy for a lot of relationships, there are no secrets between the two of us and it will remain that way. Thank you for trying to help and for your advice. I will keep you guys who care updated on everything. I will even show pictures of this weekend if you would like. But we are going through with this marriage and we are going to have a great one. We're joining together as one, we will live as one and we will die as one.  Thank you. 
(If I had made any grammar errors, please feel free to correct them, my computer screen is going out and it's very hard to make out exactly what letters are going on the screen,thanks.)


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

meagain said:


> Your welcome and I'm happy to hear you will hang in there with us. I too am here for a reason concerning my relationship. I havn't even posted my own problem yet. I read yours and I want to help. I'm just a regular guy/dad that can relate with young kids/adults such as you. You will read stuff that will upset you but remember keep an open mind.
> I care about you. I might right stuff you don't like at times but I do care none the less.
> Start by looking in the mirror every day and tell that person you see that you love her. If you don't like what you see in that mirror go look in an other. Start by loving youself Okay.


Thank you.. if you'll read a lot of the replies on this. They're ridiculous. If people aren't going to help. Why even reply? Really...


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Tall Average Guy said:


> If you can't love yourself, how can anyone else love you? Why would he love you?
> 
> These issues can ruin a relationship. They can lead to disrespect of your spouse. Loving yourself is an important part of being able to accept love from others. I am not recommending that you break up with your boyfriend. Rather, I suggest that you take your time, address your own issues, and open up to him to build your relationship prior to getting married.



If you would have read everything. You would have seen that he is the reason I open up the way I do now. And I don't know how or why he loves me, why don't you ask him that question?


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

At 17 I would counsel you NOT to marry as you`re simply too young to even begin to understand what you`re getting into.

With your particular problems you`re in for a serious hard time in marriage.

I`m done now as you won`t listen but in a few years you`ll wish you had.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I'm not calling you immature. I don't know you. I'm saying that at seventeen most are growing, changing, exploring, experiencing, learning about themselves, and hopefully, having fun.
> 
> I'm not saying this meanly, but you do not know what it is going to be. No one can. That's like saying you know what skydiving is like if you've never done it. I'm not sure if there's anyone on TAM who could say marriage was/is _exactly_ what they thought. I married in my early twenties, and while I won't go into my saga, I thought I was invincible, too.
> 
> Yes, it is your business. But your thought process, wants, needs, goals are going to change as you mature, guaranteed.


Well... thanks for trying to help...


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

tacoma said:


> At 17 I would counsel you NOT to marry as you`re simply too young to even begin to understand what you`re getting into.
> 
> With your particular problems you`re in for a serious hard time in marriage.
> 
> I`m done now as you won`t listen but in a few years you`ll wish you had.


Uhm, well that's funny because you're not my preacher, and my preacher has already counseled us, as he told us during the counseling, age doesn't matter, it's just a number, what matters is what is in your heart, how you feel, and what you're doing.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> ...But if I'm willing to tie myself down to one man the rest of my life. Isn't that my business?


Sure, except when you marry you are making a vow to each other publicly and asking the community to help you be accountable to each other. So when you make your vows you no longer have the right to say "it's my marriage, none of your business" it is quite the opposite, by marrying you are making it everyones business.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> Charlottemarie,
> 
> You are 17. Get to whatever high school is nearest you, walk into the office, and tell them you want to register for school. Fed law says that you can register yourself without parents in the picture. Once you are registered, get in touch with the schools family advocate. Again fed law says every school had to have one. Tell him/her your story, and request help.
> 
> ...



Thank you. I am actually starting to work on all that


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Lon said:


> Sure, except when you marry you are making a vow to each other publicly and asking the community to help you be accountable to each other. So when you make your vows you no longer have the right to say "it's my marriage, none of your business" it is quite the opposite, by marrying you are making it everyones business.


Uhm NO. You couldn't be more wrong.. It's OUR marriage and no one's business but mine, his, Gods and our preachers, who is our counselor.. do you know nothing about marriage???


----------



## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> If you would have read everything. You would have seen that he is the reason I open up the way I do now. And I don't know how or why he loves me, why don't you ask him that question?


Having read your response above, and to many others trying to help, let's change things up and try it this way:

You just tell us the type of advice you want to hear, and we can all give it to you. You can then agree with it and we can all put this to rest.

You have been rude, defensive and immature even to posters who are genuinely trying to help. I won't waste your time or mine giving you any more suggestions. I hope you find peace.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Tall Average Guy said:


> Hvaing read your response above, and to many others trying to help, let's change things up and try it this way:
> 
> You just tell us the type of advice you want to hear, and we can all give it to you. You can then agree with it and we can all put this to rest.
> 
> You have been rude, defensive and immature even to posters who are genuinely trying to help.. I won't waste your time or mine giving you any more suggestions. I hope you find peace.


How have I been rude, immature and defensive to the ones who were trying to help? No, I wasn't nice to the ones who weren't being nice for me. I'm not personally asking for your advice so go away. No one asked you to come on this thread but I'm nicely asking you to leave dude. Just back off.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> I hope you mean registering for school thing.
> 
> I'm serious about getting in touch with the school advocate. They have funds and resources to help young people who find themselves in circumstances. They can get you into counseling, help you get any financial assistance, those sorts of things.
> 
> Like a flower bud, your life has tons of potential. Be careful to nurture it with the things it needs to become the biggest, most beautiful bloom possible.



Yeah. I'm going to contact them as soon as I can. 
Really, thank you.


----------



## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> How have I been rude, immature and defensive to the ones who were trying to help? No, I wasn't nice to the ones who weren't being nice for me. I'm not personally asking for your advice so go away. No one asked you to come on this thread but I'm nicely asking you to leave dude. Just back off.


You just dont get it, everyone is trying to help you, each and everyone, your young, I get that but you dont have to be disrespectful, you asked for advice but you only want to hear what you want to hear your reading the replys but your really not.
The replys are from people that have lived life a lot longer than you, it's called life lessons...they are only trying to pass onto you what thet have learned and how to get thru life... Some of us need a slap upside the head (not literally) to understand.

I truly hope you get the help you need and I mean that!


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> CharlotteMarie, I'm a blunt person so I'm going to do what you've asked. You say, "Please help me. Talk to me." That's why we're trying to do. :banghead: Do you truly want advice? Then stop the quick, answer-for-everything, [email protected] remarks you're giving everyone and LISTEN, please.
> 
> *SIGH* I was sooo screwed up at seventeen and up until a couple years into my marriage. I couldn't even begin. I had a best friend who saved me, *literally*, and a man (my dh) who came into my life, didn't walk out or give up on me when he would have had every reason to.
> 
> ...



Smart @ss remarks?


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

strugglinghusband said:


> You just dont get it, everyone is trying to help you, each and everyone, your young, I get that but you dont have to be disrespectful, you asked for advice but you only want to hear what you want to hear your reading the replys but your really not.
> The replys are from people that have lived life a lot longer than you, it's called life lessons...they are only trying to pass onto you what thet have learned and how to get thru life... Some of us need a slap upside the head (not literally) to understand.
> 
> I truly hope you get the help you need and I mean that!


I am NOT being disrespectful to anyone.....


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> Remember, most of the folks responding to your thread have kids your age, or close to it. You are just making us get all paternal on you.
> 
> I can tell by your writing that you are very intelligent. If you only have a grade 5 formal education, I would go as far as to say you are probably someone who has a very high IQ, and school was just not geared toward helping you with your potential.
> 
> ...


I know they're trying to help. But most of them, just sound like they are just attacking me. And at this point apparently everyone is attacking me. I'm sorry to whoever thinks I got disrespectful but I didn't see where I did. Like I said, if I did than I'm really sorry..
But thank you humanbecoming. And yes, we are receiving counseling from him, he is the one who counseled us our 4 hours before he could begin to marry us.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Yes. Want me to point a few out? I am the Queen of Smart Azz mountain.  ( see, there's one right there!) I'm not blaming you; you're seventeen. I have no excuse; I'm much older; just slightly crazy.
> 
> My oldest kid is one year younger than you. I'd go Cujo on his rump if he announced to me and his dad that he was marrying.
> 
> Think of us as your expanded group of parents. We truly want to help. Seriously.


Well thanks, a lot. But how was I being a smart @ss? I don't recall it.. but like I told the others, I'm sorry if I was disrespectful but I really didn't mean to be..


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I wasn't necessarily accusing you of being disrespectful, just flip.
> 
> I think you may be a young lady with a lot of serious potential. But can you please go back and read some of what you wrote? Can you understand how alarming and concerning some of it is, especially to those of us who are parents?


That other person said I was being disrespectful though. Yes, I read it. I know it's all disturbing but idk which of you are parents until you tell me...


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

CharlotteMarie said:


> Uhm, well that's funny because you're not my preacher, and my preacher has already counseled us, as he told us during the counseling, age doesn't matter, it's just a number, what matters is what is in your heart, how you feel, and what you're doing.


Does your preacher know this:



> I'm insecure, I can't trust people, I feel like everyone is out to get me, I have no friends, and I'm worrying myself sick that my Fiancee is going to leave me or hurt me. Everyday it's a new battle for me and it's making me lose my mind. I have anxiety, and it's impossible for me to over come. I try so hard to be strong but it breaks me down every time. I've though of suicide, many many different ways.


Because I suspect his "counseling" would be quite different if he did know it.

Also, you should tell him all that because he might have access to mental health resources who can begin helping you.

Don't put your fiancee in the position of being your co-dependent savior. No one can sustain that forever. He will begin to resent you after some years, and you can bet on that.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I am a mother of four (not counting the dog)


How old are your children?


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> Pretty much anyone over the age of 30 is going to read your posts, grab their chests (then their meds, cause, you know, 30 is SOOO ancient  ) then start pounding away at the keyboard.
> 
> I do Hope that once you let some of the information settle a bit, your will see there is some good advice here. Believe me, at 17 I had endless problems, but a decade later, I realize it, and can be aware of how I saw things.


30 isn't quite ancient lol. 
But yes I know.. I'm hard headed and it really takes a while for things to sink in.. Thank you guys for helping..


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

norajane said:


> Does your preacher know this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is HIS choice to help me and yes my preacher does know that. That's why he is helping us.


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

CharlotteMarie said:


> This is HIS choice to help me and yes my preacher does know that. That's why he is helping us.


A preacher told you that all that matters is what is in your heart when you have been contemplating suicide? 

I'm *shocked *to hear that. Because suicidal thoughts are what is in your mind, and love will not conquer those.

And if your fiancee is your age, HE also has NO IDEA how he is going to feel after years of dealing with your issues if you don't get help for them. He hasn't been propping you up for years, and his life hasn't been impacted by it for years, and he hasn't lost himself in your problems for years. He WILL grow to resent you.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

norajane said:


> A preacher told you that all that matters is what is in your heart when you have been contemplating suicide?
> 
> I'm *shocked *to hear that. Because suicidal thoughts are what is in your mind, and love will not conquer those.



Uhm no he did not tell me that. He helped me and talked to me about it.


----------



## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> That other person said I was being disrespectful though. Yes, I read it. I know it's all disturbing but idk which of you are parents until you tell me...


That would have been me, I said you dont have to be direspectful, just some off your remarks, like southernwife said came off a little flip..lol...it's all good....my poor chooice of wording.

I have a daughter will be 20 very soon and older son 26, my daughter has a very good friend who sounds a lot like you,cutter, anexity etc etc.
I am greatly concerned for your well being....

Look at this forum like this, you came on here and like BAM in a 1/2hr you have all kinds of folks you've never met and really dont know you,jumping in wanting to help.


Please if you do nothing else, talk to someone, call the suicide hot line, or like humanbeing said do it thru the school, they can put you in touch with someone for free...


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

CharlotteMarie said:


> Uhm no he did not tell me that. He helped me and talked to me about it.


Ok then. You're all set. You don't need any advice from anyone here.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

strugglinghusband said:


> That would have been me, I said you dont have to be direspectful, just some off your remarks, like southernwife said came off a little flip..lol...it's all good....my poor chooice of wording.
> 
> I have a daughter will be 20 very soon and older son 26, my daughter has a very good friend who sounds a lot like you,cutter, anexity etc etc.
> I am greatly concerned for your well being....
> ...



Oh okay,, yeah I'm really sorry for that. And thank you. I will do what ever I can..


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I try not to discuss specifics about my kids on a public forum...I'm on TAM for me... but my oldest is sixteen. As I said previously, if he was talking marriage, his dad and I would flip.
> 
> If I missed it, how old is your boyfriend?
> 
> ...



Oh okay sorry. And he just turned 22 in March. 
We aren't even planning kids right now, but there's always a chance no matter how much protection is used..


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

norajane said:


> Ok then. You're all set. You don't need any advice from anyone here.


From you. No. But the people who are helping me, are so much appreciated.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

humanbecoming said:


> Well, I have to run. Pick ladyfrogs brain charlottemarie, from the time I have been here on TAM, she seems very well grounded, and isn't prone to giving smoke enemas. She has made comments that make it seem like she had some things to go through in her younger days too, so hopefully she is a voice that can resonate with you.
> 
> As for this "ancient"  one, you have my advice for today, I will check in on your thread here and there, and hope that you keep it up to date as you go forward and get the help we have talked about.
> 
> Cheers!


Okay, thank you!! It's been nice hearing from you "sir" (; Lol. 
Goodbye, have a good day


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> I am 17.. I have, *the past few years, developed some major issues*. No one really knows about it, *because no one will understand*. I'm insecure, *I can't trust people, I feel like everyone is out to get me,* I have no friends, and* I'm worrying myself sick that my Fiancee is going to leave me or hurt me*. Everyday it's a new *battle for me and it's making me lose my mind.* I have anxiety, and it's impossible for me to over come. I try so hard to be strong but it breaks me down every time.* I've though of suicide, many many different ways*. I've turned to smoking and quit, I've done the stupidest thing and *went to cleaning supplies, huffing them.. *I quit that also.. *I've cut,* I used to before I met my fiancee. I'm just terrified I'm going to get hurt again and I will literally die if he's the one to hurt me. This is so hard for me to explain for anyone to get what I'm trying to say.. my fiancee, James, has given me NO reason to believe he's going to leave for.. *I know I'm crazy*, I can't help it. I have problems and I need help. Please help me. Please. I'm literally begging for help from anyone. Talk to me. Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix me. Is there any way TO fix me? Someone just please help me..
> I've tried talking, I've tried everything. No one knows about my problems except for my fiancee and he doesn't know how to help and I'm scared to tell anyone else to try to get help because I don't want anyone to think any less of me or think I'm just STUPID for saying that I have problems... *Please *help me.....



you have some major red flags here and I fear you may have a serious mental disorder developing. 

a lot of mental illness starts during adolescence and young adulthood. (my own bipolar disorder also started then) It even appears that you have been self-medicating with inhalants and other non-prescription drugs. 

What you need is to be diagnosed properly and treated properly. Medical professionals cannot turn you down for lack of insurance and payment. You need to realize how serious it is that you receive the proper medical attention. This has to be your priority.

I would google the closest city/county to you and what medical services/programs/clinics they have to offer. 

I wish you luck


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Yes there is. Babies are sneaky little devils. Twenty-two and seventeen. World of difference right there. I won't even go into the underage issue, but that four year span is huge in that age range. I'm not trying to dissuade you from being with him; I truly hope your love is real. It does happen. There are a few on TAM married to their high school sweethearts.
> 
> One thing I can tell you, and this is FACT. Until you deal with your deep-down issues, and get emotionally healthy, you will _never_ be able to truly accept love from your boyfriend, or anyone.
> 
> ...


I understand you completely. But I mean, I'm not paying attention to the age difference because I love him. I really love him more than anything in this world. I have opened up so much and learned to love a whole new way since being with him and it's really amazing...


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> you have some major red flags here and I fear you may have a serious mental disorder developing.
> 
> a lot of mental illness starts during adolescence and young adulthood. (my own bipolar disorder also started then) It even appears that you have been self-medicating with inhalants and other non-prescription drugs.
> 
> ...


Thanks. But no, I've not had any non-prescription drugs or inhalants, ever. I don't take any kind of drug actually.


----------



## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Yes there is. Babies are sneaky little devils. Twenty-two and seventeen. World of difference right there. I won't even go into the underage issue, but that four year span is huge in that age range. I'm not trying to dissuade you from being with him; I truly hope your love is real. It does happen. There are a few on TAM married to their high school sweethearts.
> 
> One thing I can tell you, and this is FACT. Until you deal with your deep-down issues, and get emotionally healthy, you will _never_ be able to truly accept love from your boyfriend, or anyone.
> 
> ...


That 4 yr span is illegal here where I live and is just cause for statutory rape...if parents press charges of course.

Mother here too, 5 kids.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

CantePe said:


> That 4 yr span is illegal here where I live and is just cause for statutory rape...if parents press charges of course.
> 
> Mother here too, 5 kids.


Yeah, it's illegal here too unless parents give their okay than its okay.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> ^quote from your first post...:scratchhead:


That's not DRUGS! Get off here...


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Go away...


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> Thanks. But no, I've not had any non-prescription drugs or inhalants, ever. I don't take any kind of drug actually.


??!?!

You said in your first post that you huffed cleaning products


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Going back to something you wrote, CharlotteMarie...you live in constant fear he will leave you. That's not good; not healthy. Is it him you love, or the fact he loves you?
> 
> I fell in love with my own husband, thank God. But in the beginning he deserved better than me.


It's him that I love. But my insecurity really messes with me.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> ??!?!
> 
> You said in your first post that you huffed cleaning products


That. Is. Not. A. Drug. It is a cleaning product. It was one. It is not a drug.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> That's not DRUGS! Get off here...


oh wow, you really think that?

Inhalant abuse - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> CharlotteMarie, I hope you're for real, otherwise this is all just a huge waste of time, not to mention idiotic.
> 
> Are we being had? (rolling eyes)


I think you all are.

:redcard:

Stop feeding it.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> CharlotteMarie, I hope you're for real, otherwise this is all just a huge waste of time, not to mention idiotic.
> 
> Are we being had? (rolling eyes)


I am for real.. if I wasn't than I wouldn't be marrying the man...


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I think you all are.
> 
> :redcard:
> 
> Stop feeding it.


GO AWAY. Creeper.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> oh wow, you really think that?
> 
> Inhalant abuse - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


I know that. Go away. Just stop and go away.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> That. Is. Not. A. Drug. It is a cleaning product. It was one. It is not a drug.


IT IS ALTERING YOUR BRAIN CHEMISTRY WITH CHEMICALS

it may not be a prescription drug or a drug in the sense of pot or coke BUT it's damn well doing the same thing and probably harming you much worse


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well I can only help those who want to help themselves

good luck, I hope someday you get yourself the help you need


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> well I can only help those who want to help themselves
> 
> good luck, I hope someday you get yourself the help you need


You're not trying to help. You're attacking. You don't know what I want. Go. Away.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I gotta go away anyway, got stuff to do.
> 
> Catch y'all later.


Byee,.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> Ummm yeah it is. It's called huffing...but you already know that of course.
> 
> I am going to share a story with you about my youth. I grew up in a home where love was only given conditionally. If I wasn't perfect my mother let me know in some not so nice ways. I had a sister (surrogate mom) die at the peak of my developmental stages and then had my mother tell me that it would have been less painful if I had died because she was her favorite.
> 
> ...


I'm making a mistake where?


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> Ummm yeah it is. It's called huffing...but you already know that of course.
> 
> I am going to share a story with you about my youth. I grew up in a home where love was only given conditionally. If I wasn't perfect my mother let me know in some not so nice ways. I had a sister (surrogate mom) die at the peak of my developmental stages and then had my mother tell me that it would have been less painful if I had died because she was her favorite.
> 
> ...


And honestly, I am really very sorry to hear your story. I haven't been through half as much as what you have. I'm really sorry..


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> I give up. Goodbye.


Seriously? I was trying to have a conversation with you and all you can say is you give up? Wow... okay.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Last try- look up paranoid schizophrenia 

I'm sure you'll say I'm just attacking you but that's what people with the disorder do


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> Last try- look up paranoid schizophrenia
> 
> I'm sure you'll say I'm just attacking you but that's what people with the disorder do


Okay. I googled it.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

I would suggest to our members that if you don't have direct and respectful advice to give to the OP on her two threads, that you not respond at all.

I would also suggest to the OP that if you don't like the advice you get from members you use the ignore function. I would also suggest you tone down the language.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> Okay. I googled it.


and do you notice any similarities with at least some of the symptoms?


My grandmother was a paranoid schizophrenic so I have some familiarity with how they act and talk and to be quite frank, many of the things you post or have talked about doing fit the bill so to speak. (fear that your BF will hurt you, how everyone attacks you, the social isolation you have, the alienation from your parents, the huffing, etc)

That said it would be irresponsible of me to do such armchair psychology- which is why I said to go see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Let him know how you think and act and let him diagnose you. I honestly hope I am wrong.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Wow and
> 
> I seriously have no idea whether your poem means you would have a cup of cappucino with me on a wet Tuesday, or that I should turn myself into the Pillsbury Doughgirl and flake off.
> 
> ...


I know that. Thanks.


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> and do you notice any similarities with at least some of the symptoms?
> 
> 
> My grandmother was a paranoid schizophrenic so I have some familiarity with how they act and talk and to be quite frank, many of the things you post or have talked about doing fit the bill so to speak. (fear that your BF will hurt you, how everyone attacks you, the social isolation you have, the alienation from your parents, the huffing, etc)
> ...


..Oh. Okay.. Well thank you for trying to help out. And sorry I flipped out earlier..


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> OK. So what is your next HEALTHY step going to be?


Changing.


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

CharlotteMarie said:


> Changing.


not diapers i hope


----------



## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Wow and
> 
> I seriously have no idea whether your poem means you would have a cup of cappucino with me on a wet Tuesday, or that I should turn myself into the Pillsbury Doughgirl and flake off.
> 
> ...


Sorry, it was the best I could come up with while waiting at the bus stop for the kids! I'm no poet

However, I'm good at coffee, as long as someone doesn't mind a cynical, twisted sense of humor! 

No offense was meant!


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> not diapers i hope


Ha, yeah, diapers. I do have 3 nephews in diapers. 
*think before you speak*


----------



## CharlotteMarie (Apr 11, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> You know, CM, and I say this to you in complete seriousness...you ought to go on Dr. Phil. Not only would he help you sort things out, you would get quality aftercare for free.
> 
> Hey there, Charlotte girl
> There's another Charlotte deep inside
> ...


Uhm no.


----------



## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

Charlottemarie,

Please read everything i say with kindness. I am not here to attack you and you won't agree with everything I say, but keep an open mind...

I suffered depression earlier in my life also. I used to carve myself up, i burnt myself, took pills and booze- all before i took a knife to my wrist and severed tendons but missed my mark (thanking my lucky stars, when i woke up after plastics had finished with me I felt like the biggest idiot ever but was so grateful I was alive and still had the use of my hand). I did all the nastiest things to myself because I wanted it to be all over. It was the least productive and most self absorbed time in my life. I've been in your situation and gotten help.

Depression absolutelyis an illness and you tend to only focus on yourself and your problems. This is why people are suggesting it is not fair to the man you are about to marry. You need to heal yourself for your own sake, and in doing so you will bring your absolute best you can to the table in your marriage. I'm sure your man will support you every step of uld way. It doesn't matter if you have had the best upbringing in the world, sometimes it is chemical and it doesn't make the pain you feel any less. (Please, don't anybody else think I am trivialising depression brought about by abuse, loss, etc- I'm not).

You can get help. You ARE worth the help. Do not be sacred to tell a counsellor you are desperate and on the edge. When people know someone is truly desperate, they are more likely to help, and if they can't, are likely to refer you to someone who can for a reduced or waived fee (community health counsellor for example). People do care and would be devastated if you did anything to end your life. 

I work in the funeral industry and deal directly both with the deceased and their families. What people do to escape pain is heartbreaking. When they had so much in life they could have accomplished, they end up instead in an absolute mess on our tables. It kills the family. Their pain is just unbearable. It's a truly horrible situation. And that's just the ones that are successful. The others who don't manage to do it right end up in wheelchairs or with brain damage etc.

Asking for help is so hard. Healing is not easy. But through either counselling or meds (or a combination of both) you will get better and be so much stronger for it. Help is there, ask for it. If you are feeling suicidal, ring a hotline if you feel you can't talk to anyone about this. 

I think this is the reason you come across like you do in your posts. When I was 17, I was right and no one could tell me anything I didn't know... I know better now  Later in life when I was depressed (as much as I hate to admit this) I was so horrible to everyone who only wanted to help me. Only because I felt so bad I wanted others to feel a portion of what I was feeling. Everyone's experience is different but also the same in a sense. Please realise we are here to help, some people will coddle, some will show tough love, others will bombard you with facts, others with anecdotal stories, and some don't quite know how to respond- especially when you lash out. 

Bottom line is, no one would like to see you a statistic and people want to help.

Do yourself a favour. Be a warrior. Ask for the help you need.


----------



## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

CharlotteMarie said:


> I know they're trying to help. But most of them, just sound like they are just attacking me. And at this point apparently everyone is attacking me. I'm sorry to whoever thinks I got disrespectful but I didn't see where I did. Like I said, if I did than I'm really sorry..


Ask anyone who has suffered from depression- it always sounds like people are attacking them. I am not giving you a free pass here to be rude (and here's where the tough love comes in my dear). You have come across as rude in a lot of your posts. I have no doubt it's because you are feeling defensive. No person with depression ever really handles criticism well, no matter how constructive it is. A lot of people who aren't depressed don't handle it well either though. You have been given a lot of good advice and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Use it to your advantage instead of fighting against it.

I was told by a friend after I got better (jokingly and I love his candidness) that I was so obnoxious that he feared for my life. He worried that if I didn't kill myself someone else was going to. I was SO rude and nasty to those trying to help.

So please, let's cut the sh!t with coming across as being rude  people are getting exasperated when they reach out to you and you shut them down with a smart comment (and I'd sure like to hope it's not coming from you just being young). I would like to imagine if you were a in a more mentally stable place, you would be asking for help about the other things going on in your life (Yes, I've been following your other posts) and responding with graciousness and dignity.

I do believe I told Monicagrace also that no one here is out to screw you over in giving you advice. While not all comments here have been saintly, most have been in response to a comment you made that made the poster feel disrespected. Most, not all. But ask questions on how to better your situation, not in a snarly way.

We are here to help. No free pass from me darl. I know you're hurting, but stop with the one liners and allow the help into your life.


----------



## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Panicked, hoping I don't come off like Caligula. LOL


So long as you don't instate your favourite horse as your advisor and pass on his pearls of wisdom to us... go Caligula on our azzes all you like Lady 

...on a side note, don't call us all out to your palace in the middle of the night to shuffle around nude except for your slippers, either. Haha, I love a good story about Caligula


----------



## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> STOP giving me ideas!! :rofl:


Neigh, i will not stop... *and with a whinny and a snicker I'm going to canter off into the distance*

...someone cue the monty python coconut horse clip clops please


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

alone_not_lonely said:


> ...on a side note, don't call us all out to your palace in the middle of the night to shuffle around nude except for your slippers, either.



oh lord! pleez help uz.


----------



## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Oh man, you rock. :rofl:
> 
> I'm readying the lions.......issed:


We could do this all night but run the risk of being stoned in the pavilion for threadjacking... it will be the MANE event.

(was that joke from the lion king or am i going senile? The mane event part... not the being stoned in the pavilion part- I think that's probably a little out there even for Disney)






2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> oh lord! pleez help uz.


Oh yes, Caligula did it, let's hope Lady shows a bit more restraint


----------



## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Don't bank on it. :rofl: Start a new thread in social and we'll feast.


Oh! Oh! We can call it 'Pull Your Best PUNches'


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

alone_not_lonely said:


> being stoned in the pavilion


 pothead!


----------



## alone_not_lonely (Mar 22, 2012)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> pothead!


To quote: Pot 'isn't a drug'


----------



## MominMayberry (Mar 27, 2012)

Charlotte, I wish I could give you a hug. You sound like me at your age and I feel for you. I mean that with all love. 
There are lots of places that have free therapy. Churches often times have counselers that can help and if you dont want that they can direct you to many social services that can help you for free. 
I wont tell you what to do. You know that. I do think that 17 is young for marriage. I understand wanting love. Not having it at home. Not being wanted. Finding someone who does is exciting. It sounds great. Others here werent kind but I think they said what they fear about you. You are in trumoil now and need to figure out your self. I know where you come from. I was there. 
You need love and once you get rid of all the hurting things you will find it in the mirror.


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

alone_not_lonely said:


> To quote: Pot 'isn't a drug'


thats right, sorry


----------

