# The Male Brazillian Wax



## BFG69

My Girlfriend is an Esthetician at a salon providing many services for many different clients. One service I can't seem to get over is the Male Brazillian. I know it sounds childish but it kills me to think of the touching. I know she is professional and the more information I research just upsets me more. Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection and from what I understand usually goes away after a while. Have also read that a lot of woman estheticians wouldn't allow a man esthetician to give them a female brazillian wax which I find interesting. I guess as a man I can't get over her coming home and then touching me with the same hands she just had on a man's penis. Just looking to get the opinion of others if they would want their partner performing this type of service? And for the women out there if your Husband's were male esthetician's would you be comfortable with them giving other women a brazillian wax? Really think about how intimate it is and let me know. Probably 50% or more of estheticians refuse this male service. For her to give up this service wouldn't be a big deal she just doesn't have that many male clients looking for this unique service. I do wish I could be more understanding and supportive on this issue. Let me know your thoughts...


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## Diana7

BFG69 said:


> My Girlfriend is an Esthetician at a salon providing many services for many different clients. One service I can't seem to get over is the Male Brazillian. I know it sounds childish but it kills me to think of the touching. I know she is professional and the more information I research just upsets me more. Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection and from what I understand usually goes away after a while. Have also read that a lot of woman estheticians wouldn't allow a man esthetician to give them a female brazillian wax which I find interesting. I guess as a man I can't get over her coming home and then touching me with the same hands she just had on a man's penis. Just looking to get the opinion of others if they would want their partner performing this type of service? And for the women out there if your Husband's were male esthetician's would you be comfortable with them giving other women a brazillian wax? Really think about how intimate it is and let me know. Probably 50% or more of estheticians refuse this male service. For her to give up this service wouldn't be a big deal she just doesn't have that many male clients looking for this unique service. I do wish I could be more understanding and supportive on this issue. Let me know your thoughts...


It's always best for male customers to go to males and visa versa. Does she know how you feel about it?
If it's medical issue, as in a doctor or nurse, ok that's different, but if it's just something like a massage or beauty treatment, then you can find someone of the same sex.


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## BFG69

I have made it more than clear how I feel about the service.


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## bobert

It's a professional service... Professionals are not thinking about it the same way you are. They are focused on the job, that's it. Would you be jealous if your GF was a urologist? Should she be jealous if you were an OB-GYN? My wife has touched so many ****s and had her fingers in many backdoors, and I've never thought about it. 

How much is she even really handling the guys ****? I would assume he could move things out of the way. She would also be wearing gloves, and like I said, focused on getting the job done not having an "intimate" experience. 

I can't imagine getting an erection while having my nuts or asshole waxed, but to each their own I guess...


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## Diana7

BFG69 said:


> I have made it more than clear how I feel about the service.


What did she say?


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## BFG69

I told her to think about how it makes me feel for a while and we would talk about it at a later time. 
Not willing to loose her over my insecurities but not sure how to handle it either...


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## 342693

bobert said:


> It's a professional service... Professionals are not thinking about it the same way you are.


I would be worried about the male clients using the opportunity to hit on my wife.

However, I would think a high percentage of the men getting this service are gay since a hetro man probably doesn't want to be smooth down there.


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## bobert

SCDad01 said:


> I would be worried about the male clients using the opportunity to hit on my wife.
> 
> However, I would think a high percentage of the men getting this service are gay since a hetro man probably doesn't want to be smooth down there.


Flirting would either be ignored, or it would cause the service to be ended early and future appointments refused. 

Trust me, they know how to deal with that sort of thing.


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## 342693

bobert said:


> Flirting would either be ignored, or it would cause the service to be ended early and future appointments refused.
> 
> Trust me, they know how to deal with that sort of thing.


People have affairs everyday. And a lot through their jobs. I'm not saying professionals can't be professional, but things do happen.


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## BFG69

SCDad01 said:


> I would be worried about the male clients using the opportunity to hit on my wife.
> 
> However, I would think a high percentage of the men getting this service are gay since a hetro man probably doesn't want to be smooth down there.


From what I understand more hetro men get the service.


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## bobert

SCDad01 said:


> People have affairs everyday. And a lot through their jobs. I'm not saying professionals can't be professional, but things do happen.


Yes, the esthetician is giving the client a happy ending following his wax. Then maybe inviting him over so she can play with his nice, smooth nuts


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## BFG69

I'm really not worried about an affair, it's just a service I would prefer her to give up. We all give up things in our life for those whom we love.
For a small hand full of clients it involves I don't feel like I am asking that much.


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## bobert

BFG69 said:


> I'm really not worried about an affair, it's just a service I would prefer her to give up. We all give up things in our life for those whom we love.
> For a small hand full of clients it involves I don't feel like I am asking that much.


It's her JOB. You are way too insecure. It's not like she's a stripper or an escort. If anything, feel bad for her not jealous. Would you want to wax a guy's asshole and saggy nuts? 

Could she lose her job at the salon if she refuses to do that service? What then?


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## Openminded

And if she won’t?


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## Evinrude58

Stupid question. Does that waxing result in a lot of ingrown hairs? Do women like men with no hair in that area? Asking for a friend.

nevermimd, the more I think about it, the more I don’t think I’d ever be ripping out hair in that area. Sounds like torture.


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## BFG69

bobert said:


> It's her JOB. You are way too insecure. It's not like she's a stripper or an escort. If anything, feel bad for her not jealous. Would you want to wax a guy's asshole and saggy nuts?
> 
> Could she lose her job at the salon if she refuses to do that service? What then?


She isn't going to loose her job. There are other services she is qualified to do but chooses not too. 
I understand it's my issue and I'm asking her to understand how I feel. I don't want to feel this way but have tried over and over and I struggle with it in my head.
Again I know she is doing her job and she isn't doing anything wrong.


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## Evinrude58

bobert said:


> It's her JOB. You are way too insecure. It's not like she's a stripper or an escort. If anything, feel bad for her not jealous. Would you want to wax a guy's asshole and saggy nuts?
> 
> Could she lose her job at the salon if she refuses to do that service? What then?


I disagree. I think OP is expressing HIS feelings about it. Just because a person has negative feelings about something doesn’t mean they’re insecure. I would feel the same way he would. I agree there may be nothing but work to it, but I wouldn’t want my wife waxing ****s all day either. It’s just weird, inappropriate, etc. it’s not surgery, she’s not a doctor. It would likely turn me off of sex even.


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## BFG69

Openminded said:


> And if she won’t?


No idea what will happen. Not willing to loose her over it. I just know I will always struggle with it.


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## Diana7

BFG69 said:


> I'm really not worried about an affair, it's just a service I would prefer her to give up. We all give up things in our life for those whom we love.
> For a small hand full of clients it involves I don't feel like I am asking that much.


You aren't asking too much at all. She has very few clients wanting this so it's not going to make much difference to her income.
I hope that she cares about you enough to take this seriously.

You are not being insecure, you are being a normal person. 

Every beautician can choose to refuse clients or even choose to only take on clients of the same sex.


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## CharlieParker

bobert said:


> I can't imagine getting an erection while having my nuts or asshole waxed, but to each their own I guess...


I can't imagine having my nuts or asshole waxed, period. And thanks for the new signature.


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## bobert

BFG69 said:


> She isn't going to loose her job. There are other services she is qualified to do but chooses not too.
> I understand it's my issue and I'm asking her to understand how I feel. I don't want to feel this way but have tried over and over and I struggle with it in my head.
> Again I know she is doing her job and she isn't doing anything wrong.


Do you actually know she won't lose her job, or are you just assuming that? If I showed up to work and said "Nah, don't feel like doing that!" I wouldn't have a job. 

What have you done to work on this insecurity? And yes, that's what it is. You are jealous about someone's job. Seriously, you better not ever look at porn if you can't handle her seeing another man's ****.


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## BFG69

bobert said:


> Do you actually know she won't lose her job, or are you just assuming that? If I showed up to work and said "Nah, don't feel like doing that!" I wouldn't have a job.
> 
> What have you done to work on this insecurity? And yes, that's what it is. You are jealous about someone's job. Seriously, you better not ever look at porn if you can't handle her seeing another man's ****.


She works for herself, makes her own schedule, and chooses what clients and services she will provide.


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## bobert

BFG69 said:


> She works for herself, makes her own schedule, and chooses what clients and services she will provide.


How much extra money does she bring in from the Brazilian waxes? She may only have a few clients but those services can be pricey. 

I like that you ignored what you've done to actually work on the insecurity, and whether you're a hypocrite or not.


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## ccpowerslave

I just trimmed my ball hair today with my Manscaper 3.0. 🥜. No boner. Trimming your nut hair doesn’t really seem boner worthy but I’d have to try it with my wife in scrubs to be 100% sure.

If I wanted someone else to do it I sure wouldn’t pick a man.

My GP is a lady and she grabs my nuts to check for lumps and hernia. Never got a boner from that.


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## BFG69

I would say less than 4K a year. What am i doing to work on my insecurity problem. I am here asking for help and advice on how to handle this.
Asking Men and Women how they would feel. We all have opinions and feelings on different things. Maybe I'll get help or not but just checking anyway.


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## Evinrude58

BFG69 said:


> I would say less than 4K a year. What am i doing to work on my insecurity problem. I am here asking for help and advice on how to handle this.
> Asking Men and Women how they would feel. We all have opinions and feelings on different things. Maybe I'll get help or not but just checking anyway.


You’re not insecure. No secure, confident man looks forward to his wife waxing another man’s balls for money. A Confident man tells his wife what is bothering him and expects her to hear his concerns. If his wife ignores his concerns and he squashes his own feelings and is too afraid to do anything to upset her AppleCart over something that really bothers him, THAT would be a sign of insecurity.


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## BFG69

Evinrude58 said:


> You’re not insecure. No secure, confident man looks forward to his wife waxing another man’s balls for money. A Confident man tells his wife what is bothering him and expects her to hear his concerns. If his wife ignores his concerns and he squashes his own feelings and is too afraid to do anything to upset her AppleCart over something that really bothers him, THAT would be a sign of insecurity.


Thank You


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## Diana7

BFG69 said:


> I would say less than 4K a year. What am i doing to work on my insecurity problem. I am here asking for help and advice on how to handle this.
> Asking Men and Women how they would feel. We all have opinions and feelings on different things. Maybe I'll get help or not but just checking anyway.


Unless I was a doctor or nurse 
I wouldnt do a job where I was handling men's genitals out of respect for my husband. Especially if it was for beauty type treatments which aren't medically necessary. 
My husband is one of the most secure men I know and hasn't a jealous bone in his body but I still wouldn't do it. 
I also wouldn't want him doing beauty treatments/massages on or near women's genitals either and I am not unsecure. It's about what is and isn't appropriate. For us it's not.


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## Prodigal

I used to get waxed regularly when I was in my 30s. The more it's done, the less it hurts. But I can't imagine a guy coming in for the first time and having hot wax applied to that area. Not to mention the pain that comes from having pubes ripped out. And, to be perfectly honest, I don't want to see a hairless dude. Trimmed and neat is one thing, but bare naked weenie area? Nope.


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## pastasauce79

Do men really get an erection from getting their balls waxed? Maybe that's their fetish? 

Why does she choose to serve men? Is the pay better than waxing women? There has to be a reason why. 

I work around nurses and doctors. I've seen female nurses dealing with male catheters, male doctors digging in women's vaginas. No big deal. I've never seen a male patient getting an erection while health workers are messing with his junk. I've never seen doctors acting inappropriate with patient's privates. My husband doesn't mind I see naked men. 

It's a job not entertainment.


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## pastasauce79

Double post


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## Diana7

pastasauce79 said:


> Do men really get an erection from getting their balls waxed? Maybe that's their fetish?
> 
> Why does she choose to serve men? Is the pay better than waxing women? There has to be a reason why.
> 
> I work around nurses and doctors. I've seen female nurses dealing with male catheters, male doctors digging in women's vaginas. No big deal. I've never seen a male patient getting an erection while health workers are messing with his junk. I've never seen doctors acting inappropriate with patient's privates. My husband doesn't mind I see naked men.
> 
> It's a job not entertainment.


I see a difference between medical treatment in a hospital and unnessary beauty/waxing things. 

Most doctor's surgeries here have male and female doctors, so if you are going to have a more intimate examination you can go with a doctor of the same sex. In a hospital that's not usually possible.


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## Diana7

Basically she doesn't have to do those waxes, they are only a small part of her work. You have told her of your concerns so wait and see what she says. 
If my husband asked me not to do something due to his genuine concerns, there is no way I would carry on regardless. 
I used to know a lady who did massage. She was clear in only having female clients and I respected her for it.


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## Lila

BFG69 said:


> My Girlfriend is an Esthetician at a salon providing many services for many different clients. One service I can't seem to get over is the Male Brazillian. I know it sounds childish but it kills me to think of the touching. I know she is professional and the more information I research just upsets me more. Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection and from what I understand usually goes away after a while. Have also read that a lot of woman estheticians wouldn't allow a man esthetician to give them a female brazillian wax which I find interesting. I guess as a man I can't get over her coming home and then touching me with the same hands she just had on a man's penis. Just looking to get the opinion of others if they would want their partner performing this type of service? And for the women out there if your Husband's were male esthetician's would you be comfortable with them giving other women a brazillian wax? Really think about how intimate it is and let me know. Probably 50% or more of estheticians refuse this male service. For her to give up this service wouldn't be a big deal she just doesn't have that many male clients looking for this unique service. I do wish I could be more understanding and supportive on this issue. Let me know your thoughts...


 You are certainly entitled to share your feelings on the matter with her but she is just a girlfriend. You can choose to work through your issues with her profession or you can choose to date someone whose job is more to your liking. That's it.

If she was here asking for advice, I would tell her not to give up any clientele. Boyfriends are not guaranteed tomorrow and jobs put food on the table and roofs over heads.


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## pastasauce79

Diana7 said:


> I see a difference between medical treatment in a hospital and unnessary beauty/waxing things.


Do you realize nurses shave pubic hair too depending on the medical procedure? 

Beauticians get trained on how to avoid getting bodily fluids on them for their own safety just like Drs and nurses do in medical training. Drs and nurses learn how to shave pubic hair too. It's part of the job.


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## VladDracul

Prodigal said:


> I don't want to see a hairless dude. Trimmed and neat is one thing, but bare naked weenie area? Nope.


Maybe the guy coming in to get a wax is doing it for his husband. I can fully understand a man not wanting his wife/GF handling and poking around another guys pecker but its likely the guys that are demanding this service couldn't do the chicks any good at all.


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## 342693

bobert said:


> Yes, the esthetician is giving the client a happy ending following his wax. Then maybe inviting him over so she can play with his nice, smooth nuts


Happened 20+ years ago to a friend of mine. Wife was a massuese. Had affair with client.


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## TXTrini

BFG69 said:


> My Girlfriend is an Esthetician at a salon providing many services for many different clients. One service I can't seem to get over is the Male Brazillian. I know it sounds childish but it kills me to think of the touching. I know she is professional and the more information I research just upsets me more. Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection and from what I understand usually goes away after a while. Have also read that a lot of woman estheticians wouldn't allow a man esthetician to give them a female brazillian wax which I find interesting. I guess as a man I can't get over her coming home and then touching me with the same hands she just had on a man's penis. Just looking to get the opinion of others if they would want their partner performing this type of service? And for the women out there if your Husband's were male esthetician's would you be comfortable with them giving other women a brazillian wax? Really think about how intimate it is and let me know. Probably 50% or more of estheticians refuse this male service. For her to give up this service wouldn't be a big deal she just doesn't have that many male clients looking for this unique service. I do wish I could be more understanding and supportive on this issue. Let me know your thoughts...


OP, you're entitled to feel how you feel, I understand your jealousy. You didn't answer bobert's question about your porn use, so it does sound a bit hippocritical. 

Did you know about her job when you met her? If so, you can't expect her to change what she does now b/c it makes you uncomfortable. As Lila said, you're a bf, not a husband.


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## 342693

ccpowerslave said:


> My GP is a lady and she grabs my nuts to check for lumps and hernia. Never got a boner from that.


I bet she's not hot.


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## Evinrude58

Why not? She can say no and he can say “next”?

just sayin.


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## bobert

SCDad01 said:


> Happened 20+ years ago to a friend of mine. Wife was a massuese. Had affair with client.


That doesn't mean it happens to everyone. My wife had an affair with a coworker. Do I think all or even most medical professionals cheat? Nope. Do I think all women cheat? Nope. Too many people here do, though. It's ridiculous.


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## Lila

Evinrude58 said:


> Why not? She can say no and he can say “next”?
> 
> just sayin.


Yep. This could be a fundamental compatibility issue. He needs to beat feet if he can't handle his girlfriend's career. 



BFG69 said:


> I told her to think about how it makes me feel for a while and we would talk about it at a later time.
> *Not willing to loose her over my insecurities but not sure how to handle it either...*


If he wants to keep her in his life then he's going to have to find ways to accept her career.


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## Evinrude58

Just me..... I’d not marry a woman that waxed balls for a living. 
Too many women out there to deal with ass waxers.
She doesn’t have all the traits he wants in a woman.
He could get the whole ball of wax with another woman if he looks.


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## OnTheRocks

I am straight and manscape, and my SOs have always liked it super smooth down there, as do I. I bic my shaft & sack fairly often, and more since the gray hair started showing up. LOL I'd definitely consider waxing, but it sounds expensive and I didn't even know the service was available for men. How much does this cost?

I can't see getting aroused, though. I got snipped a couple years ago, and the nurse that prepped me was SUPER HOT. Really it kinda had the opposite effect on me. Maybe waxing or tattooing is different / less clinical.


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## BFG69

Lila said:


> You are certainly entitled to share your feelings on the matter with her but she is just a girlfriend. You can choose to work through your issues with her profession or you can choose to date someone whose job is more to your liking. That's it.
> 
> If she was here asking for advice, I would tell her not to give up any clientele. Boyfriends are not guaranteed tomorrow and jobs put food on the table and roofs over heads.


We are both divorced and live together now, She is my whole world not and I hope I am more than just a boyfriend to her. I'd give up anything for her.


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## bobert

OnTheRocks said:


> I can't see getting aroused, though. I got snipped a couple years ago, and the nurse that prepped me was SUPER HOT. Really it kinda had the opposite effect on me.


Same here. When I had a vasectomy I was asked if I wanted a male or female nurse, and if I wanted said nurse to shave my nuts for me. I took care of business on my own, but I chose a female nurse. She was very attractive and it definitely wasn't a turn on.


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## bobert

BFG69 said:


> We are both divorced and live together now, She is my whole world not and I hope I am more than just a boyfriend to her. I'd give up anything for her.


I'm sure it sounds great in your head but that's really not a healthy thing to say/think.


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## Personal

BFG69 said:


> I'd give up anything for her.


Then give up wanting to control what she does.


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## BFG69

BFG69 said:


> We are both divorced and live together now, She is my whole world not and I hope I am more than just a boyfriend to her. I'd give up anything for her.


My whole world Now. Sorry for the typo above


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## Lila

Evinrude58 said:


> Just me..... I’d not marry a woman that waxed balls for a living.
> Too many women out there to deal with ass waxers.
> She doesn’t have all the traits he wants in a woman.
> He could get the whole ball of wax with another woman if he looks.


Did the OP say he was intending on marrying his girlfriend? Maybe he's not interested in ever marrying (again or otherwise). 

No one should settle for less than what they want, and I don't believe anyone here is telling him to do that. What I and other are saying is that if he wants to date THIS woman (as he's said in other posts), then he's going to figure out how to deal with her career and everything it entails. And if he can't, then he should break up. As you have alluded to, girlfriends can easily be booted to the curb on a whim. Unless he's paying her bills, this woman would be an idiot to stop doing aspects of her job to make him feel better.


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## Young at Heart

BFG69 said:


> My Girlfriend is an Esthetician at a salon providing many services for many different clients. *One service I can't seem to get over is the Male Brazillian. I know it sounds childish but it kills me to think of the touching. I know she is professional and the more information I research just upsets me more. * Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection and from what I understand usually goes away after a while.
> 
> ....*I guess as a man I can't get over her coming home and then touching me with the same hands she just had on a man's penis.* Just looking to get the opinion of others if they would want their partner performing this type of service? ......... Let me know your thoughts...





BFG69 said:


> I have made it more than clear how I feel about the service.





BFG69 said:


> I told her to think about how it makes me feel for a while and we would talk about it at a later time.
> *Not willing to loose her over my insecurities but not sure how to handle it either...*





BFG69 said:


> No idea what will happen. *Not willing to loose her over it. I just know I will always struggle with it.*


Let's get a few things out in the open. She is your girlfriend and not your wife. She is making a living for herself.

Now let me tell you a little story about myself. A long time ago, I noticed a lump in a testicle. I freaked out and saw my doctor. He sent me to a specialist. The specialist had an ultrasound technician scan the area to provide him with detailed pictures. The technicial was a lovely young woman professional. To get good ultrasound pictures she had to first put this lube all over my scrotum. Then she moved the ultrasound probe over my scrotum and holding and rotating each testicle as she did. I can assure you it was NOT an erotic experience. 

Another story, in recovery form running overuse running training, I have had many therapeutic massages. All of them have been naked on my part and all with women massage therapists. They are trained professionals. Again, not erotic experiences.

Now with that in mind, sit yourself down, look in the mirror and ask yourself what you are trying to do and why. You are trying to change your girlfriend and her job that supports her. How would you feel if she tried to change parts of your job or how you live your life? That is exactly what you are doing.

As a man who has been married for nearly 50 years, I learned long ago, that I can not change my wife, only my wife can change herself and then only if she wants to. Trying to change someone is an attempt to use power over them. You have asked and she gets to choose. You need to stop over-thinking this and let her decide how she lives her own life. 

You have asked her and it sounds like she doesn't want to change. If that is the case, then you need to either accept it or find another girlfriend. Before you think of marriage to anyone, you need to learn that it is wrong to try to control how your partners live their lives. The point of dating is to find someone who lives their life in a way that you can enjoy.

Good luck.


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## Lila

BFG69 said:


> We are both divorced and live together now, She is my whole world not and I hope I am more than just a boyfriend to her. I'd give up anything for her.


Do you live in a common law state? Do you have financial ties to her?


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## ccpowerslave

SCDad01 said:


> I bet she's not hot.


Erm she’s ok.


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## Diana7

Lila said:


> You are certainly entitled to share your feelings on the matter with her but she is just a girlfriend. You can choose to work through your issues with her profession or you can choose to date someone whose job is more to your liking. That's it.
> 
> If she was here asking for advice, I would tell her not to give up any clientele. Boyfriends are not guaranteed tomorrow and jobs put food on the table and roofs over heads.


Or she can listen to his concerns and do something about it.


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## OnTheRocks

This seems appropriate to this conversation. Weird that it's coming from Russell Brand, but whatever - it's super solid advice.


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## Diana7

pastasauce79 said:


> Do you realize nurses shave pubic hair too depending on the medical procedure?
> 
> Beauticians get trained on how to avoid getting bodily fluids on them for their own safety just like Drs and nurses do in medical training. Drs and nurses learn how to shave pubic hair too. It's part of the job.


Of course. His partner isn't anything to do with the medical profession.


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## Diana7

Lila said:


> You are certainly entitled to share your feelings on the matter with her but she is just a girlfriend. You can choose to work through your issues with her profession or you can choose to date someone whose job is more to your liking. That's it.
> 
> If she was here asking for advice, I would tell her not to give up any clientele. Boyfriends are not guaranteed tomorrow and jobs put food on the table and roofs over heads.


He said that the males who want this are a small number. It's hardly going to make much difference to her if she stops seeing them.


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## Bluesclues

BFG69 said:


> My Girlfriend is an Esthetician at a salon providing many services for many different clients. One service I can't seem to get over is the Male Brazillian. I know it sounds childish but it kills me to think of the touching. I know she is professional and the more information I research just upsets me more. Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection and from what I understand usually goes away after a while. Have also read that a lot of woman estheticians wouldn't allow a man esthetician to give them a female brazillian wax which I find interesting. I guess as a man I can't get over her coming home and then touching me with the same hands she just had on a man's penis. Just looking to get the opinion of others if they would want their partner performing this type of service? And for the women out there if your Husband's were male esthetician's would you be comfortable with them giving other women a brazillian wax? Really think about how intimate it is and let me know. Probably 50% or more of estheticians refuse this male service. For her to give up this service wouldn't be a big deal she just doesn't have that many male clients looking for this unique service. I do wish I could be more understanding and supportive on this issue. Let me know your thoughts...


I suggest you go have the same wax done by another woman and see for yourself how non-intimate getting hair pulled from your crotch really is. I’m not joking.


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## OnTheRocks

I get massages all the time, butt naked, from men and strong women. Not erotic at all. Never popped a boner. That happens at different massage parlors, where I'm guessing the massage sucks except for in one area.


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## ccpowerslave

I am getting a couples massage in a couple weeks and I told my wife I don’t want a man rubbing on me and she rolled her eyes.


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## Lila

Diana7 said:


> Or she can listen to his concerns and do something about it.


She could listen to his concern, try to help him with his feelings, but making changes to her job because a boyfriend has insecurities is absolutely the dumbest thing a divorced woman can do in this day and age.

Modern dating has taught me that girlfriends are easily replaceable. So are boyfriends for that matter.

She was earning a living as an aesthetician before she met him and she'll be doing it if he chooses to leave.


----------



## Lila

Diana7 said:


> He said that the males who want this are a small number. It's hardly going to make much difference to her if she stops seeing them.


Who gives a ****. Bottom line is that she's an aesthetician and she's chosen to provide this service as part of her job. The expectation should not be for her to quit providing that service because it makes her boyfriend uncomfortable. The expectation is for her boyfriend to state his boundary (you quit or I leave) and then to follow through, if that is in fact what he wants to do.


----------



## BFG69

Lila said:


> She could listen to his concern, try to help him with his feelings, but making changes to her job because a boyfriend has insecurities is absolutely the dumbest thing a divorced woman can do in this day and age.
> 
> Modern dating has taught me that girlfriends are easily replaceable. So are boyfriends for that matter.
> 
> She was earning a living as an aesthetician before she met him and she'll be doing it if he chooses to leave.


Last thing I want is anyone to be replaced. In my marriage I never shared my feelings. Would just ignore and bottle things up. Didn't work out for me.
So when I met someone I wanted to be more open and share my feelings. I have tried to reason with myself and I know it's my issue, but I'm still hoping she see's past how rediculous I am and see how much it bothers me. If not, I'm sure we will figure out something. She is my future and I can't imagine a day without her.


----------



## OnTheRocks

BFG69 said:


> She is my future and I can't imagine a day without her.


This is not a healthy way to view any relationship.


----------



## bobert

Diana7 said:


> He said that the males who want this are a small number. It's hardly going to make much difference to her if she stops seeing them.


He said its maybe up to $4,000/year. So let's say it's $300/month, that's a lot for some people.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

BFG69 said:


> Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection


Only if they enjoy pain.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

SCDad01 said:


> I would be worried about the male clients using the opportunity to hit on my wife.
> 
> However, I would think a high percentage of the men getting this service are gay since a hetro man probably doesn't want to be smooth down there.


Ummmm.....


----------



## DownByTheRiver

BFG69 said:


> No idea what will happen. Not willing to loose her over it. I just know I will always struggle with it.


She should have known you well enough by now to not tell you to begin with. I can assure you this is not a turn-on for her. And the guys are in pain and mainly mortified. Like at the urologist. She literally has a well paying but sh***y job. I bet it starts out by her having to clean them off like wiping a baby. Verrry sexy.


----------



## CharlieParker

OP, does she also do asshole bleaching? I'm thinking that that may potentially get her more male clients than the waxing (but what do I know, probably nothing).


----------



## ccpowerslave

If I lost a bet and had to do it I would definitely pick a woman to do it. Although I’m sure my friends would want evidence of it actually happening so I’m guessing they’d want to be in the room to confirm which is about as anti-boner as you can get.


----------



## heartsbeating

bobert said:


> Flirting would either be ignored, or it would cause the service to be ended early and future appointments refused.
> 
> Trust me, they know how to deal with that sort of thing.


Yup. I used to be a massage therapist (remedial and such). Not that there's any touching of genitalia with that. Only had one male client attempt to be inappropriate. Months later, that muppet tried to return / make another booking. I happened to answer the phone (compared to receptionist) and immediately recognized his voice, which caused me to bristle. I told him that he wasn't welcome and not to call again, and he acknowledged that. I'd also shared with my local network about him; another had also encountered him and responded similarly to me.

Majority of my clients were female, however, I had regular male clients too. Muscle pains, put their back out, sports injuries, and yes, just as importantly, for relaxation too. I've also massaged family members, including my brother and dad. All your points are spot-on @bobert.


----------



## DudeInProgress

BFG69 said:


> My Girlfriend is an Esthetician at a salon providing many services for many different clients. One service I can't seem to get over is the Male Brazillian. I know it sounds childish but it kills me to think of the touching. I know she is professional and the more information I research just upsets me more. Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection and from what I understand usually goes away after a while. Have also read that a lot of woman estheticians wouldn't allow a man esthetician to give them a female brazillian wax which I find interesting. I guess as a man I can't get over her coming home and then touching me with the same hands she just had on a man's penis. Just looking to get the opinion of others if they would want their partner performing this type of service? And for the women out there if your Husband's were male esthetician's would you be comfortable with them giving other women a brazillian wax? Really think about how intimate it is and let me know. Probably 50% or more of estheticians refuse this male service. For her to give up this service wouldn't be a big deal she just doesn't have that many male clients looking for this unique service. I do wish I could be more understanding and supportive on this issue. Let me know your thoughts...


Just tell her you’re not ok with her performing that service. I can’t imagine it makes up more than a tiny fraction of her workload (and if it does, that’s another problem), so shouldn’t be a problem for her to say no to that service. Doesn’t matter if it’s “professional” or not, it’s not like she’s a urologist here.

You’re not comfortable with it, and it’s not a major function of her job, so if she won’t willingly agree to refuse doing that service, I’d bail. It would tell you how little she respects you.


----------



## DudeInProgress

bobert said:


> How much extra money does she bring in from the Brazilian waxes? She may only have a few clients but those services can be pricey.
> 
> I like that you ignored what you've done to actually work on the insecurity, and whether you're a hypocrite or not.


Are you serious? 
It’s not insecure to be unwilling to accept your GF/wife handling other men’s penises. It’s a reasonable boundary.

OP, just tell her you’re not willing to have your gf performing that service. Simple.


----------



## DudeInProgress

Lila said:


> Yep. This could be a fundamental compatibility issue. He needs to beat feet if he can't handle his girlfriend's career.
> 
> If he wants to keep her in his life then he's going to have to find ways to accept her career.


This is completely wrong. Her career isn’t to wax men’s junk, it’s to be an aesthetician. The ball waxing is a small, optional service that she doesn’t have to provide, and which many (of not most) don’t provide. If she wants to be with him, she needs to forego that service.


----------



## bobert

DudeInProgress said:


> Are you serious?
> It’s not insecure to be unwilling to accept your GF/wife handling other men’s penises. It’s a reasonable boundary.
> 
> OP, just tell her you’re not willing to have your gf performing that service. Simple.


Where is the eye roll "reaction" when you need it?


----------



## DudeInProgress

bobert said:


> Where is the eye roll "reaction" when you need it?


I generally roll my eyes at weak boundaries and cuckholdry.


----------



## heartsbeating

Lila said:


> Who gives a ****. Bottom line is that she's an aesthetician and she's chosen to provide this service as part of her job. The expectation should not be for her to quit providing that service because it makes her boyfriend uncomfortable. The expectation is for her boyfriend to state his boundary (you quit or I leave) and then to follow through, if that is in fact what he wants to do.


Towards the end of the week and especially Saturdays, I was booked up months in advance. The regulars had their spots which they secured in advance. One was a man who booked fortnightly. What I knew was that he'd been through a messy divorce, and this was part of his new life. He'd joined a sports team and then started getting massages to help with muscle tension following the games. He'd set out this new routine for himself that he was enjoying. Usually there was some talking at the start, then he'd be asleep by the end. The chat was just whatever was going on for him that week and related to the massage (extra stress with work, how the team played and his aches and pains). One of those times, he mentioned that he'd met someone. Brief chat about her perhaps coming in for a massage too. I would typically make follow-up calls to see how clients were going after the treatment; if the muscle aches were improving and such. They would also confirm they'd be at the next appointment. One time I called, and he sounded a bit off although said the massage had helped, yet he'd need to cancel his next booking and he'd be in touch and understood that I'd need to let his regular time go. There was a woman who really wanted to get booked in. As there had been no spots available, we arranged that I'd open earlier to get her in until an alternative time was available. She then got his regular spot.

Several months later, he returned. He apologized for his absence (not that he needed to) and briefly explained the woman he'd been dating (and where we briefly discussed maybe she'd like to come in for a massage, too) apparently had stopped by prior to him cancelling and I'd spoken with her about the massage, given her details and such. Well, she wasn't happy with him being massaged by me (didn't think that I was that offensive! haha) and they had a huge blow up, and he agreed to stop being a client. My understanding is that she then also wanted him to give up playing the team sport... essentially he ended up breaking it off with her. He only shared a snippet of what happened; enough for me to get the sense that he'd established this new routine for himself that she wasn't onboard with and although he started adjusting to her wants, ultimately thought WTF and decided to end it. Then he was back to his team sport again and back into a different time for his massages. Not sure what my point is. Your post about expectations and boundaries just reminded me of that and I started waffling.


----------



## bobert

DudeInProgress said:


> I generally roll my eyes at weak boundaries and cuckholdry.


Seriously? Do you even know the definition of a cuckold? 

She is a professional, in a salon, being paid for services that she trained for. It's not like she's inviting the neighbor and pool boy over to go doggy style so she can rip out their ass hairs.


----------



## DudeInProgress

bobert said:


> Seriously? Do you even know the definition of a cuckold?
> 
> She is a professional, in a salon, being paid for services that she trained for. It's not like she's inviting the neighbor and pool boy over to go doggy style so she can rip out their ass hairs.


He’s not comfortable with it, and that’s absolutely ok. So he can tell her he’s not ok with his gf waxing men’s balls. 
If she cares about the relationship, she’ll willingly forego that service.


----------



## bobert

DudeInProgress said:


> He’s not comfortable with it, and that’s absolutely ok. So he can tell her he’s not ok with his gf waxing men’s balls.


He's not comfortable with it because he's insecure as **** and cannot differentiate sexual contact from esthetic treatments. 


> If she cares about the relationship, she’ll willingly forego that service.


OR, if HE cares enough about the relationship he will get his ass to a therapist. Alternatively, he could go for his own nut and ass waxing, to see that it's really not all that hot and steamy. 

I vote for the latter.


----------



## DudeInProgress

bobert said:


> He's not comfortable with it because he's insecure as **** and cannot differentiate sexual contact from esthetic treatments.
> 
> OR, if HE cares enough about the relationship he will get his ass to a therapist. Alternatively, he could go for his own nut and ass waxing, to see that it's really not all that hot and steamy.
> 
> I vote for the latter.


He gets to have standards, and his standards are up to him. Doesn’t matter if it’s sexual or not. He doesn’t want his girl waxing men’s balls. Not an unreasonable expectation, most aestheticians don’t do it. If waxing men’s balls is important to her, they’re not a fit.


----------



## bobert

DudeInProgress said:


> they’re not a fit.


Exactly, but OP has a very unhealthy view of what relationships should be like so he's going to stay.


----------



## OnTheRocks

He has said several times that he will do anything to not lose her. Not trying to control her would be a good start. Developing his self esteem would help as well.


----------



## TXTrini

DudeInProgress said:


> He gets to have standards, and his standards are up to him. Doesn’t matter if it’s sexual or not. He doesn’t want his girl waxing men’s balls. Not an unreasonable expectation, most aestheticians don’t do it. If waxing men’s balls is important to her, they’re not a fit.


No one's saying he shouldn't have standards. He can have and enforce all the standards he wants. 

However, he has a problem. He doesn't want to break up, so he needs to do something about his issue. She's not doing it for fun! I've talked to aestheticians who treat male clients and they think most men are disgusting, but it's their job and some are great tippers.


----------



## ccpowerslave

All this talk about ball waxing is making me curious about trying it.


----------



## DudeInProgress

OnTheRocks said:


> He has said several times that he will do anything to not lose her.


That’s where he’s screwed. That kind of mindset leads to nothing but pain.




OnTheRocks said:


> Not trying to control her would be a good start. Developing his self esteem would help as well.


There’s nothing controlling about having standards. But I do agree he needs to work on his self-respect.


----------



## jlg07

ccpowerslave said:


> All this talk about ball waxing is making me curious about trying it.


😭
If you want to do this, practice this for a month before you go:
OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (at the top of your lungs).


----------



## TXTrini

DudeInProgress said:


> That’s where he’s screwed. That kind of mindset leads to nothing but pain.
> 
> There’s nothing controlling about having standards. But I do agree he needs to work on his self-respect.


Totally agree, BTDT.

The time to have standards is when you meet, BEFORE starting a relationship. You don't suddenly decide you don't like your g/f's career, therefore she must change it to suit you.

If she compliments an attractive woman, next thing he'll be afraid to let her near women.


----------



## ccpowerslave

jlg07 said:


> 😭
> If you want to do this, practice this for a month before you go:
> OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (at the top of your lungs).


Can they even do it if you normally shave your ball hair down to 1mm? 🤔


----------



## jlg07

ccpowerslave said:


> Can they even do it if you normally shave your ball hair down to 1mm? 🤔


At that point just shave the whole thing and save your self that pain -- I can't imagine doing that EVER. As I said, OUCH.


----------



## bobert

ccpowerslave said:


> Can they even do it if you normally shave your ball hair down to 1mm? 🤔


Your hair has to be ¼ long. So what's that, like 6mm? Get growing!


----------



## Personal

DudeInProgress said:


> If she cares about the relationship, she’ll willingly forego that service.


Or more sensibly she will do him a favour and treat him like an adult, by not humouring his ridiculous insecurities.

Then for his sake, hopefully he will get over himself.

That said if he remains unwilling to put his big boy pants on and get over it. She can then tell him to **** off, and if he’s lucky she will afford him some parting advice, that tells him to grow up.


----------



## Evinrude58

TXTrini said:


> Totally agree, BTDT.
> 
> The time to have standards is when you meet, BEFORE starting a relationship. You don't suddenly decide you don't like your g/f's career, therefore she must change it to suit you.
> 
> If she compliments an attractive woman, next thing he'll be afraid to let her near women.


I don’t think that’s at all fair.

wouid you want your daughter to grow up to be a ball and ass water?
I can’t think of anyone o know that’s male that would be that fired up about their gf or wife being a nut hair stripper. Why are you guys all bent on telling this guy he’s insecure about something most men wouldn’t care for their gf doing?

I wouldn’t really care to date a proctologist either. It’s just not my preference.

OP didn’t ask anyone to judge him. He aske


OnTheRocks said:


> He has said several times that he will do anything to not lose her. Not trying to control her would be a good start. Developing his self esteem would help as well.
> [/QUO
> 
> So he’s being controlling by not wanting his SO to have a job that requires being around naked men and touching their penises?
> 
> lol. Ok bro, whatever you say.
> I’m controlling too.


----------



## DudeInProgress

TXTrini said:


> Totally agree, BTDT.
> 
> The time to have standards is when you meet, BEFORE starting a relationship. You don't suddenly decide you don't like your g/f's career, therefore she must change it to suit you.
> 
> If she compliments an attractive woman, next thing he'll be afraid to let her near women.


I agree that it’s not ideal to implement standards mid-game. 

Unless he didn’t realize at first that she performed that service as I think most aestheticians don’t. 
Or if it was more casual before so he didn’t care as much. Now that it’s committed and serious relationship and potentially going somewhere long-term, there are different expectations.


----------



## ShatteredKat

thread caught my attention - so I looked to see what is getting posted -

People: Getting waxed is not sexually arousing - unless you are a masochist

People: Getting waxed by a 50 years old married fat lady is NOT sexually arousing

People: I am definitely anti-gay - but leave them alone - just not including in my social circle
So I am averse to having a "male" fondle my stuff.

I have been "Brazilian waxed" twice - @ $70 plus tip. Includes "butt strip" but not the little hairs
around anus.

Place I go to is "sole *proprietor*" and only works 4 days a week. And appointments are booked solid more than a month in advance.

I asked how many "old men" come in for the waxing and she said "lots"

Process takes about 15 minutes - pain is fleeting - more like the sting from a light slap.
Gone in seconds. (your mileage may vary) and only downside is a bit of soreness later - that
is gone in half a day.

"Hot" wax is a misnomer - the wax is warm and not an uncomfortable temperature.

In state where I live - you have to be licensed for the service and it takes months to acquire the
necessary training. 

To the fellow who objects to his friend doing the service - just get a grip and go get waxed.
Let us know how "exciting" the experience is for you!


Persons who perform nursing and other personal services - seldom see their clients as possible
paramours. More like a piece of meat on the barbie.

I had to undergo an outpatient procedure whereby a fiber-optic device is fed into a vein so doctor
could look at blood vessels on my heart. The access point for insertion of the fiber is in the GROIN.
So I am in the wonderful hospital gown - pulled up to my waist - while a nurse (can't remember what
she looked like) shaved the area. Two other nurses - all female gender - were doing other tasks like
installing IV and preparation for anesthesia. (I think it was Seconal shot) - so there I am buck naked below
the waist with three lovely ladies working on me.

Guess what they were talking about? - baking a certain type of cake - don't remember what type.

Ya - I am sure they are "sexually aroused."

Same situation for a professional hair puller - except they only have you to chat with.

What would you like to talk about while your hair is getting pulled out?

I'm due (hair at least 1/2 inch long) for another visit but life has been busy and the covid thing is screwing up activities again.

BTW #2: wife appreciates bare and crotch also is cleaner and much easier to rinse off soap when in the shower.


----------



## RebuildingMe

BFG69 said:


> We are both divorced and live together now, She is my whole world not and I hope I am more than just a boyfriend to her. I'd give up anything for her.


Ugh, I just threw up in my mouth. OP, this is your problem right here. A woman should be an extension of you, not your “whole world”…never, nope. Do some reading. Don’t be a beta simp. If you had any self confidence, you’d accept the fact that she’s earning a living, you are better than the balls she is waxing and you’d have the power to say “next” if you don’t want to put up with her nonsense. Instead of worrying about the nut sacks she’s waxing, go find your own nut sack and take back some control.


----------



## TXTrini

Evinrude58 said:


> I don’t think that’s at all fair.
> 
> wouid you want your daughter to grow up to be a ball and ass water?
> I can’t think of anyone o know that’s male that would be that fired up about their gf or wife being a nut hair stripper. Why are you guys all bent on telling this guy he’s insecure about something most men wouldn’t care for their gf doing?
> 
> I wouldn’t really care to date a proctologist either. It’s just not my preference.
> 
> OP didn’t ask anyone to judge him. He aske


It's not my career choice, but it's really condescending to look down on people who do it for a living. I'm not saying he is/not insecure, I am saying it's his problem and he has to deal with it. If he doesn't like what she does, he needs to look for a gf with a profession he approves of.



DudeInProgress said:


> I agree that it’s not ideal to implement standards mid-game.
> 
> Unless he didn’t realize at first that she performed that service as I think most aestheticians don’t.
> Or if it was more casual before so he didn’t care as much. Now that it’s committed and serious relationship and potentially going somewhere long-term, there are different expectations.


You'd be surprised how much more common body hair removal including that area has become, my aesthetician fills me in on the stories, it's quite interesting how many men do that. 

So, out of curiosity, would you think she was a gold digger if she requires him to make up the difference in her income if she ends up dropping all her male clients? Mind you, their relationship better last, b/c once she starts dropping clients for him, they'll move on.



RebuildingMe said:


> Ugh, I just threw up in my mouth. OP, this is your problem right here. A woman should be an extension of you, not your “whole world”…never, nope. Do some reading. Don’t be a beta simp. If you had any self confidence, you’d accept the fact that she’s earning a living, you are better than the balls she is waxing and you’d have the power to say “next” if you don’t want to put up with her nonsense. Instead of worrying about the nut sacks she’s waxing, go find your own nut sack and take back some control.


----------



## frenchpaddy

bobert said:


> He said its maybe up to $4,000/year. So let's say it's $300/month, that's a lot for some people.


 I detest the people that run down people that do the jobs we don't like to do , 
the same people say why are there so many emergent's 
truth is many jobs are done by emergent's , 
I say fair dues to her for doing a job that many of us would not do , 
same as others are you bin man , or the guy that works in treatment plants , it is nice to be able go to the toilet flush it and it works but a plumier has to unblock it when it blocks up and a poor guy gets paid low wages to spread it down the line somewhere , 
there are many jobs that some people would not do , but someone will and the money is often not good but as said 4k is a lot to give up if you on low income , 

grate to have the education and the luck to be in a job that you can look down on others and say I would not dirty my hands but others have to dirty their hands for little and can't give up that extra money , 

there is a way out of this the OP could ask her to let him pay the 4k a year 
but then what if he changes his mind and can live without this gf does he stay paying the 4k as she has lost her client's


----------



## heartsbeating

Well, the beauty industry is female-dominated and waxing is part of that industry. Sure, maybe some salons don't provide the service for men yet certainly isn't out of the ordinary these days to include as a service. And, likely don't think much of it, as in it's their profession and goes with the territory. I would not go to a male waxer, however, I also don't need to as it's a female-dominated field.

I've been the client of male massage therapists; all professional in their approach, boundaries, privacy respected. Back in the day, there were two local massage therapists that I'd visit, depending on who had availability. One was a woman, the other was a man. At times, he would refer clients my way who preferred a female therapist and other times I'd refer clients his way if I felt he'd be a better fit for what they needed, or if I didn't have capacity. Prior to attending them as a paying client, I had my 'trading' massage person (female); whereby we met as students and later arranged to regularly swap massages without payment as we needed massage ourselves. I would not engage that kind of familiar and casual arrangement with a guy though, as it was a friendship basis. I guess some things aren't cut and dry.

Outside of that (past) professional realm, Batman and I have turned up to a spa to get massages and they have assigned a male and female therapist. I've been the one to have the male therapist as Bats feels more comfortable with a female. Having typed that out, I can imagine a few TAMers minds exploding haha.


----------



## MattMatt

bobert said:


> Yes, the esthetician is giving the client a happy ending following his wax. Then maybe inviting him over so she can play with his nice, smooth nuts


Whilst comforting the sobbing wreck before her. Man! That's gotta hurt! No flirting I would think.


----------



## In Absentia

DudeInProgress said:


> There’s nothing controlling about having standards.


But some standards can be controlling.


----------



## Lila

DudeInProgress said:


> This is completely wrong. Her career isn’t to wax men’s junk, it’s to be an aesthetician. The ball waxing is a small, optional service that she doesn’t have to provide, and which many (of not most) don’t provide. If she wants to be with him, she needs to forego that service.


Nope. I'm right and I know I'm right because 

a) I'm a single woman who gets Brazilian waxes every month. My salon is a local chain and they have a relatively large male clientele and,

b) I'm a divorced, single woman who considers every penny earned meaningful. I rely on me, myself, and I to financially support myself (and my kid) and there is no way I would give up any part of my career that is bringing me income for a boyfriend. I don't have a man supporting me. 4k may be "a small optional service" to you but for some of us it's a big deal even if it's extra money that goes straight to savings. It's security. These two are not married. She could be "his everything" today and yesterday's news tomorrow. 

For the record, if this was a woman talking about how uncomfortable her boyfriend's job made her, i would tell her the same thing. Share your feelings but don't expect him to give up parts of his job to sooth your insecurities. You can either accept or move on to someone with a career that doesn't trigger your insecurities. 

tl/Dr. Boyfriends/girlfriends don't get the benefits associated with marriage. Those include job changes.


----------



## CountryMike

SCDad01 said:


> I would be worried about the male clients using the opportunity to hit on my wife.
> 
> However, I would think a high percentage of the men getting this service are gay since a hetro man probably doesn't want to be smooth down there.


Waxed down there? That's like asking for a beating and saying can I have another. Wow 🙄😮😮😮.

Trim, ok, if a preference, and is good for the W and bjs because an older gentleman likely has hairs like 3 or 4in long on and around all the nibly bits. Because face it, those places have had hair growing unchecked for over 40 years until a first trim. Even on lower parts of Mr. Happy.

On a tmi but related I was against a trim for 30 years but gave in when W said the sheer length of fur was hampering her efforts.

I didn't think I'd let an outside person do any trimming but as a purely hetero guy, yes, some do see the advantages in trimming and even shaving to a certain point.

But to wax, and get that ripped off??

Wowsers. 😮😮😮😮


----------



## BigDaddyNY

OK, confession time. I had the unfortunate experience of getting waxed about 10 years ago. I won't get into why, but it was done reluctantly, lol. I wouldn't call it sexual in anyway, but it was quite strange to have a woman that wasn't my wife handle my genitals so intimately. She was touching everything from the tip of my penis to my scrotum. I never got a full on erection, but there was definitely a little something going on down there. At the end when the painful part was done and she was cleaning me up and applying moisturizer would have been the closest thing to being erotic, but it really wasn't. I never once felt like I was getting some kind of sexual service. 

All that said I'm not sure if I would be comfortable with my wife doing it as a career. I fear I would being thinking about her hands on another man's penis far too frequently. I can only imagine the dinner table conversations. Husband: "How was work today honey?" Wife: "Oh it was crazy! You should have seen the huge **** I waxed today! And, his butt hole sure was hairy too."


----------



## frenchpaddy

CountryMike said:


> Waxed down there? That's like asking for a beating and saying can I have another. Wow 🙄😮😮😮.
> 
> Trim, ok, if a preference, and is good for the W and bjs because an older gentleman likely has hairs like 3 or 4in long on and around all the nibly bits. Because face it, those places have had hair growing unchecked for over 40 years until a first trim. Even on lower parts of Mr. Happy.
> 
> On a tmi but related I was against a trim for 30 years but gave in when W said the sheer length of fur was hampering her efforts.
> 
> I didn't think I'd let an outside person do any trimming but as a purely hetero guy, yes, some do see the advantages in trimming and even shaving to a certain point.
> 
> But to wax, and get that ripped off??
> 
> Wowsers. 😮😮😮😮


 I must say i see it from the same point as you , 
i even find it strange that some women put them self through the pain , but each to their own I say 
but not for me , thanks


----------



## She'sStillGotIt

CharlieParker said:


> _*I can't imagine having my nuts or asshole waxed, period. And thanks for the new signature.*_



And *WORSE*, getting an erection while it's happening. Jesus, WTF is wrong with most guys?


----------



## ccpowerslave

She'sStillGotIt said:


> And *WORSE*, getting an erection while it's happening. Jesus, WTF is wrong with most guys?


I mean in some cases it is involuntary. I woke up this morning with an erection in fact I probably do most days. Testosterone peaks in the early am and if you’re healthy then boom.


----------



## frenchpaddy

She'sStillGotIt said:


> And *WORSE*, getting an erection while it's happening. Jesus, WTF is wrong with most guys?


i think big daddy explained this well , 
just now i can't help asking why he picked the name , lol 


BigDaddyNY said:


> OK, confession time. I had the unfortunate experience of getting waxed about 10 years ago. I won't get into why, but it was done reluctantly, lol. I wouldn't call it sexual in anyway, but it was quite strange to have a woman that wasn't my wife handle my genitals so intimately. She was touching everything from the tip of my penis to my scrotum. I never got a full on erection, but there was definitely a little something going on down there. At the end when the painful part was done and she was cleaning me up and applying moisturizer would have been the closest thing to being erotic, but it really wasn't. I never once felt like I was getting some kind of sexual service.
> 
> All that said I'm not sure if I would be comfortable with my wife doing it as a career. I fear I would being thinking about her hands on another man's penis far too frequently. I can only imagine the dinner table conversations. Husband: "How was work today honey?" Wife: "Oh it was crazy! You should have seen the huge **** I waxed today! And, his butt hole sure was hairy too."


 men get erection quite easy at times , some times you feel embarrassed and hope one one notices


----------



## hinterdir

BFG69 said:


> My Girlfriend is an Esthetician at a salon providing many services for many different clients. One service I can't seem to get over is the Male Brazillian. I know it sounds childish but it kills me to think of the touching. I know she is professional and the more information I research just upsets me more. Meaning the majority of male clients will get an erection and from what I understand usually goes away after a while. Have also read that a lot of woman estheticians wouldn't allow a man esthetician to give them a female brazillian wax which I find interesting. I guess as a man I can't get over her coming home and then touching me with the same hands she just had on a man's penis. Just looking to get the opinion of others if they would want their partner performing this type of service? And for the women out there if your Husband's were male esthetician's would you be comfortable with them giving other women a brazillian wax? Really think about how intimate it is and let me know. Probably 50% or more of estheticians refuse this male service. For her to give up this service wouldn't be a big deal she just doesn't have that many male clients looking for this unique service. I do wish I could be more understanding and supportive on this issue. Let me know your thoughts...


Here is the good news. 

We can seek out those we are compatible with. 

You do not have to keep dating her. There are 3.5 BILLION women on the earth. Just go find someone who doesn't handle penises as part of their job. 
If you aren't comfortable with it than just move on and find someone you are more compatible with. 
You are free to feel however you naturally feel. There isn't some rule book on feelings and what we have to be ok with. If you would rather not have your girl handling others privates then date a girl who doesn't handle other men for her work.

Life would be so much simpler if people would date those they are compatible with. I see so many relationship issues in which people date those they aren't compatible with.


----------



## Lila

heartsbeating said:


> Towards the end of the week and especially Saturdays, I was booked up months in advance. The regulars had their spots which they secured in advance. One was a man who booked fortnightly. What I knew was that he'd been through a messy divorce, and this was part of his new life. He'd joined a sports team and then started getting massages to help with muscle tension following the games. He'd set out this new routine for himself that he was enjoying. Usually there was some talking at the start, then he'd be asleep by the end. The chat was just whatever was going on for him that week and related to the massage (extra stress with work, how the team played and his aches and pains). One of those times, he mentioned that he'd met someone. Brief chat about her perhaps coming in for a massage too. I would typically make follow-up calls to see how clients were going after the treatment; if the muscle aches were improving and such. They would also confirm they'd be at the next appointment. One time I called, and he sounded a bit off although said the massage had helped, yet he'd need to cancel his next booking and he'd be in touch and understood that I'd need to let his regular time go. There was a woman who really wanted to get booked in. As there had been no spots available, we arranged that I'd open earlier to get her in until an alternative time was available. She then got his regular spot.
> 
> Several months later, he returned. He apologized for his absence (not that he needed to) and briefly explained the woman he'd been dating (and where we briefly discussed maybe she'd like to come in for a massage, too) apparently had stopped by prior to him cancelling and I'd spoken with her about the massage, given her details and such. Well, she wasn't happy with him being massaged by me (didn't think that I was that offensive! haha) and they had a huge blow up, and he agreed to stop being a client. My understanding is that she then also wanted him to give up playing the team sport... essentially he ended up breaking it off with her. He only shared a snippet of what happened; enough for me to get the sense that he'd established this new routine for himself that she wasn't onboard with and although he started adjusting to her wants, ultimately thought WTF and decided to end it. Then he was back to his team sport again and back into a different time for his massages. Not sure what my point is. Your post about expectations and boundaries just reminded me of that and I started waffling.


I see this sort of reaction with women where they want to make their boyfriends to change everything about themselves to sooth their insecurities. It's exhausting if you ask me. 

I have a similar situation with FWB which is one of several reasons why I won't commit to a formal relationship with him. I work in a male dominated industry. I don't have to travel for work but I do it because it affords me face time with the client. I am positive that the face to face time I invest is one of the reasons why I'm so successful at getting more work from existing clients. It creates a connection. Anyways, my FWB (he hates that I think of him that way btw) can't stand that I travel for work. We've been on and off for a couple of years - I see him 3-5 times a week when things are good but can go months when we have an argument. This is one of the fundamental issues that keeps me from entering into an emotionally invested relationship with him. I WILL NOT give up my source of income without marriage and he's not looking to get remarried so we enjoy the good times and date other people when we're not together. Strangely we always seem to find our way back to each other. We've made it 6 months without a big fight BUT I just got back from my first trip this year. We're meeting for lunch. Let's hope he doesn't have "a moment".


----------



## Blondilocks

Unless she is so sick of looking at penes that it is affecting your love life, I think you're going to have to let this go. Be thankful she isn't a nurse.

Besides, maybe she gets a little sadistic thrill from ripping off the hair. At least, you know she isn't wondering what other penes look like.

Have you had her perform the procedure on you? It might set your mind at ease if you know exactly what happens during and after the procedure.


----------



## frenchpaddy

hinterdir said:


> Here is the good news.
> 
> We can seek out those we are compatible with.
> 
> You do not have to keep dating her. There are 3.5 BILLION women on the earth. Just go find someone who doesn't handle penises as part of their job.
> If you aren't comfortable with it than just move on and find someone you are more compatible with.
> You are free to feel however you naturally feel. There isn't some rule book on feelings and what we have to be ok with. If you would rather not have your girl handling others privates then date a girl who doesn't handle other men for her work.
> 
> Life would be so much simpler if people would date those they are compatible with. I see so many relationship issues in which people date those they aren't compatible with.


 this is true 
the only thing I would add to this is 
SHE SEEMS TO BE HAPPY TO do this service takes a type of person to be able do this and maybe that is what you like about her , she might be more relaxed with you because of the same thing that lets her be open to do this work


----------



## Evinrude58

There’s more to this story, there always is.
OP is not going to let her go over this, he’s just upset about it. I suspect there are other factors involved in her male client interactions that are causing him to worry, than just the fact that she’s noodling around Their privates.

we all see that he “can’t live without her and would do anything for her”.....it sounds like OP has already rolled out the door mat and that’s what is leading to the worries. But he’s not likely to change that.


----------



## In Absentia

She'sStillGotIt said:


> And *WORSE*, getting an erection while it's happening. Jesus, WTF is wrong with most guys?


If you touch my penis (well, I don't mean you as in you - I can't get virtual erections - actually, I can, but that's OT  ), I might get an erection. We can't always control it...


----------



## hinterdir

BFG69 said:


> I would say less than 4K a year. What am i doing to work on my insecurity problem. I am here asking for help and advice on how to handle this.
> Asking Men and Women how they would feel. We all have opinions and feelings on different things. Maybe I'll get help or not but just checking anyway.


Don't give into this "insecurity problem" crap. People shame people all the time into accepting stuff in their lives they don't want. You name it....it is always an insecurity problem. 
You are free to feel however you naturally feel. There is no right or wrong or reason for shame. To be honest I've never even heard of a man getting a Brazillian. I didn't even know men did that.
Anyway, there is no reason you have to be ok with it. If you are not you are not. 

People act like you have to accept and be ok with everything and if you are not there is something wrong with you.

Just find someone you are compatible with. She has the freedom to not do these. Ok, good. You can ask her to not do these on men. Ok, good. She is free to say, being good in my romantic relationship is more important to me than doing male waxing as part of my job, I won't do those. She can say my job is more important, I'm not going to stop. 

You are free to just move on if she doesn't. 
No issues. Everyone just be true to their feelings, be up front about what they want and then you just go for those who we are compatible with and will respect our boundaries. If boundaries aren't respected and we aren't compatible.....no worries. You two just aren't a good fit. Move on. Billions of women out there who don't wax naked me. Just go date one of those.


----------



## pastasauce79

Diana7 said:


> Of course. His partner isn't anything to do with the medical profession.


If she would get a CNA certification and then decides to keep waxing males, would it be acceptable for you?


----------



## CharlieParker

This thread has been helpful, should I ever get my nuts or asshole waxed it seems it would innappropriate to take a Viagra beforehand.


----------



## hinterdir

bobert said:


> That doesn't mean it happens to everyone. My wife had an affair with a coworker. Do I think all or even most medical professionals cheat? Nope. Do I think all women cheat? Nope. Too many people here do, though. It's ridiculous.


You are going on a tangent here. 

OP.....is possible cheating your one and only concern?

I got the vibe it was just sort of a boundary. He just doesn't really want his girlfriend handling naked men. End of story. Cheating....not cheating wasn't really the subject. 
I wouldn't be ok with my wife posing nude for a drawing class. Her possibly cheating wouldn't even be on the table. I just don't want a room of half men staring at every square inch of my naked wife for an hour. 

I'm thinking this "cheating" topic doesn't apply to this specific situation.


----------



## In Absentia

This thread reminds me of the pickleball one... still talking of trust and balls.


----------



## Torninhalf

hinterdir said:


> You are going on a tangent here.
> 
> OP.....is possible cheating your one and only concern?
> 
> I got the vibe it was just sort of a boundary. He just doesn't really want his girlfriend handling naked men. End of story. Cheating....not cheating wasn't really the subject.
> I wouldn't be ok with my wife posing nude for a drawing class. Her possibly cheating wouldn't even be on the table. I just don't want a room of half men staring at every square inch of my naked wife for an hour.
> 
> I'm thinking this "cheating" topic doesn't apply to this specific situation.


I agree. It’s not about cheating as much as he doesn’t want his girlfriend handling men’s junk.


----------



## hinterdir

Lila said:


> Nope. I'm right and I know I'm right because
> 
> a) I'm a single woman who gets Brazilian waxes every month. My salon is a local chain and they have a relatively large male clientele and,
> 
> b) I'm a divorced, single woman who considers every penny earned meaningful. I rely on me, myself, and I to financially support myself (and my kid) and there is no way I would give up any part of my career that is bringing me income for a boyfriend. I don't have a man supporting me. 4k may be "a small optional service" to you but for some of us it's a big deal even if it's extra money that goes straight to savings. It's security. These two are not married. She could be "his everything" today and yesterday's news tomorrow.
> 
> For the record, if this was a woman talking about how uncomfortable her boyfriend's job made her, i would tell her the same thing. Share your feelings but don't expect him to give up parts of his job to sooth your insecurities. You can either accept or move on to someone with a career that doesn't trigger your insecurities.
> 
> tl/Dr. Boyfriends/girlfriends don't get the benefits associated with marriage. Those include job changes.


Are you always waxed by a woman or are their male techs that sometimes do that to the women clients?


----------



## BigDaddyNY

hinterdir said:


> You are going on a tangent here.
> 
> OP.....is possible cheating your one and only concern?
> 
> I got the vibe it was just sort of a boundary. He just doesn't really want his girlfriend handling naked men. End of story. Cheating....not cheating wasn't really the subject.
> I wouldn't be ok with my wife posing nude for a drawing class. Her possibly cheating wouldn't even be on the table. I just don't want a room of half men staring at every square inch of my naked wife for an hour.
> 
> I'm thinking this "cheating" topic doesn't apply to this specific situation.


I never heard cheating brought up as a concern. It was simply the thought of her handling penises and more specifically guys getting hard while she is doing her work. I could certainly see how that could be a turn off if nothing else. Even though she is a professional I think this is much different than a medical scenario. Yeah, the ultrasound tech has to handling someone's genitals to do a testicle scan, but that is no where near the same as stripping clean some guys junk then oiling it all up to make it look pretty. One is a medical necessity and one is strictly cosmetic and very personal. I also think getting a Brazilian wax has a lot of sexual undertones. You are getting your genital dressed up (undressed actually) for view pleasure of other people.


----------



## Lila

hinterdir said:


> Are you always waxed by a woman or are their male techs that sometimes do that to the women clients?


Where I go it's all women aesthetiicians doing the work. They do charge men more for Brazilians than women.


----------



## BFG69

Lila said:


> Where I go it's all women aesthetiicians doing the work. They do charge men more for Brazilians than women.


Would you be ok with a man giving you a Brazillian?


----------



## frenchpaddy

does the op think she might give extra services after ?

like message with happy ending


----------



## bobert

hinterdir said:


> You are going on a tangent here.
> 
> OP.....is possible cheating your one and only concern?
> 
> I got the vibe it was just sort of a boundary. He just doesn't really want his girlfriend handling naked men. End of story. Cheating....not cheating wasn't really the subject.
> I wouldn't be ok with my wife posing nude for a drawing class. Her possibly cheating wouldn't even be on the table. I just don't want a room of half men staring at every square inch of my naked wife for an hour.
> 
> I'm thinking this "cheating" topic doesn't apply to this specific situation.


I'm not the one who brought up cheating. Someone else did because "it happened to a friend!!"  

The OP has said he isn't worried about cheating.


----------



## Lila

BFG69 said:


> Would you be ok with a man giving you a Brazillian?


I wouldn't specifically seek out a man for Brazilian wax but it's not like male aestheticians are the norm. If the only way to get a Brazilian wax was to rely on a man to do it, then I'd probably go to one.


----------



## CountryMike

CharlieParker said:


> I can't imagine having my nuts or asshole waxed, period. And thanks for the new signature.


Man, if a guy got his nuts waxed when pulling it off it seems it would feel like everything on the inside is now on the outside!! ☹☹☹


----------



## CountryMike

bobert said:


> Do you actually know she won't lose her job, or are you just assuming that? If I showed up to work and said "Nah, don't feel like doing that!" I wouldn't have a job.
> 
> What have you done to work on this insecurity? And yes, that's what it is. You are jealous about someone's job. Seriously, you better not ever look at porn if you can't handle her seeing another man's ****.


I'm thinking I'd draw the line at a W handling other mens junk and buttholes, unless she was a pre-OP RN shaving fir surgeries. THAT would be a job that's a profession. 

I mean, to wax a guy, if it's like barber or beauty school, HOW MANY guys junk and buttholes had to be waxed by her (or any student) during training, and on volunteers willing to get services from someone in training???

That's an interesting question. 

For just a gf, it's up to him, but I'd say no W of mine would wax poles, nuts, and butt holes.


----------



## southbound

Diana7 said:


> Unless I was a doctor or nurse
> I wouldnt do a job where I was handling men's genitals out of respect for my husband. Especially if it was for beauty type treatments which aren't medically necessary.
> My husband is one of the most secure men I know and hasn't a jealous bone in his body but I still wouldn't do it.
> I also wouldn't want him doing beauty treatments/massages on or near women's genitals either and I am not unsecure. It's about what is and isn't appropriate. For us it's not.


Same here. When an old fashioned person like me starts getting older, apparently it makes the culture seem crazier. When I was growing up, I remember if a man came by to see his friend, and he wasn’t home, he didn’t stay if only the wife was there because it just didn’t seem like the thing to do. I don’t recall anything like this ever being brought up.


----------



## hinterdir

southbound said:


> Same here. When an old fashioned person like me starts getting older, apparently it makes the culture seem crazier. When I was growing up, I remember if a man came by to see his friend, and he wasn’t home, he didn’t stay if only the wife was there because it just didn’t seem like the thing to do. I don’t recall anything like this ever being brought up.



What? That is so controlling. Don't they trust their spouse? That's their issue, others shouldn't be controlled the one person's hangups and insecurities. Its your body....do what you want. 
Sarcasm of course.
That's the current Reddit advice for almost every boundary issue.


----------



## Diana7

Lila said:


> She could listen to his concern, try to help him with his feelings, but making changes to her job because a boyfriend has insecurities is absolutely the dumbest thing a divorced woman can do in this day and age.
> 
> Modern dating has taught me that girlfriends are easily replaceable. So are boyfriends for that matter.
> She was earning a living as an aesthetician before she met him and she'll be doing it if he chooses to leave.


Being in a serious relationship or marriage is all about thinking of each other and compromise. If my husband wasn't happy about something I did I wouldn't think twice about stopping whatever it was.


----------



## Diana7

BFG69 said:


> Last thing I want is anyone to be replaced. In my marriage I never shared my feelings. Would just ignore and bottle things up. Didn't work out for me.
> So when I met someone I wanted to be more open and share my feelings. I have tried to reason with myself and I know it's my issue, but I'm still hoping she see's past how rediculous I am and see how much it bothers me. If not, I'm sure we will figure out something. She is my future and I can't imagine a day without her.


If she loves you and respects you she will take your concerns seriously as any loving and respectful partner would.
If she doesn't then what does that say about her?


----------



## ccpowerslave

Wrong thread... thanks Friday.


----------



## Diana7

hinterdir said:


> What? That is so controlling. Don't they trust their spouse? That's their issue, others shouldn't be controlled the one person's hangups and insecurities. Its your body....do what you want.
> Sarcasm of course.
> That's the current Reddit advice for almost every boundary issue.


Nothing to do with hangups or insecurities whatsoever, but of what is or isn't appropriate. What boundaries you have.


----------



## Diana7

pastasauce79 said:


> If she would get a CNA certification and then decides to keep waxing males, would it be acceptable for you?


Waxing for vanity isn't medical. They aren't having surgery.


----------



## pastasauce79

Diana7 said:


> Waxing for vanity isn't medical. They aren't having surgery.


No one should wax or shave for vanity then? What about male plastic surgeons doing all kinds of repairs on women breasts, butts, or vaginas? 

We all are free to choose. OP should choose as well.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

In Absentia said:


> But some standards can be controlling.


Yeah, the ones where you foist them on others.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

Just thank your lucky stars she's not a tattoo artist bent over some man's butt for hours while tattooing Elmer Fudd pointing a rifle at his crack saying, "Come out of that hole, you Waskly Wabbit."


----------



## Diana7

pastasauce79 said:


> No one should wax or shave for vanity then? What about male plastic surgeons doing all kinds of repairs on women breasts, butts, or vaginas?
> 
> We all are free to choose. OP should choose as well.


Never said that, although I have no idea why people get these unnessary plastic surgery ops done. 
Just that it's wise to choose the right people to go to.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

pastasauce79 said:


> No one should wax or shave for vanity then? What about male plastic surgeons doing all kinds of repairs on women breasts, butts, or vaginas?
> 
> We all are free to choose. OP should choose as well.


One thing for sure, you'll never hear a man telling a women not to let the male doctor touch her breasts to give her big fake hooters.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Reading this thread definitely makes me want to try having my balls waxed. They’d be so smooth!


----------



## Lila

Diana7 said:


> Being in a serious relationship or marriage is all about thinking of each other and compromise. If my husband wasn't happy about something I did I wouldn't think twice about stopping whatever it was.


IF OP was discussing his WIFE, I would agree with you. OP is discussing his GIRLFRIEND. This is the time to determine compatibility NOT to compromise.

If OP is uncomfortable with his girlfriend's career choice, he needs to decide if it's worth it enough to him to break up. If it is not, he should find ways to deal with it on his own. It's not his girlfriend's responsibility to fix him. If it is worth it, then he needs to bring it to her attention by stating his boundaries (I cannot be with a woman who performs Brazilian waxes on men) and then sit back and wait. She may decide to stop that service or break up, but ultimately she doesn't have to compromise if she doesn't want to. That's one of the perks and set backs of "just dating".


----------



## hinterdir

Diana7 said:


> Nothing to do with hangups or insecurities whatsoever, but of what is or isn't appropriate. What boundaries you have.


lol.
I literally typed the word "Sarcasm" to safeguard against those who would have this joke go over their head.
Over the head it went anyway.


----------



## Evinrude58

DownByTheRiver said:


> Just thank your lucky stars she's not a tattoo artist bent over some man's butt for hours while tattooing Elmer Fudd pointing a rifle at his crack saying, "Come out of that hole, you Waskly Wabbit."


Omg. Lmao


----------



## Blondilocks

DownByTheRiver said:


> Just thank your lucky stars she's not a tattoo artist bent over some man's butt for hours while tattooing Elmer Fudd pointing a rifle at his crack saying, "Come out of that hole, you Waskly Wabbit."


You're on a roll!


----------



## Andy1001

DownByTheRiver said:


> Just thank your lucky stars she's not a tattoo artist bent over some man's butt for hours while tattooing Elmer Fudd pointing a rifle at his crack saying, "Come out of that hole, you Waskly Wabbit."


----------



## Evinrude58

Lila said:


> IF OP was discussing his WIFE, I would agree with you. OP is discussing his GIRLFRIEND. This is the time to determine compatibility NOT to compromise.
> 
> If OP is uncomfortable with his girlfriend's career choice, he needs to decide if it's worth it enough to him to break up. If it is not, he should find ways to deal with it on his own. It's not his girlfriend's responsibility to fix him. If it is worth it, then he needs to bring it to her attention by stating his boundaries (I cannot be with a woman who performs Brazilian waxes on men) and then sit back and wait. She may decide to stop that service or break up, but ultimately she doesn't have to compromise if she doesn't want to. That's one of the perks and set backs of "just dating".


They’re not dating, they’re living together. And he doesn’t have a problem with her Career choice, just her few guys she rips pubes off of and repositions their erect weiners from time to time. There’s not a thing wrong with him asking her to hold off on the male waxes. If she says no, he then has the right to move on. He’s not going to. He’s already at the “I’ll do anything for her” stage. 
If t strikes me odd that he apparently doesn’t have the right to request she changes something in her life. Nothing wrong with asking. If he ran a gym and occasionally offered full body spray tans to super hot nude women, and she told him that made her uncomfortable. Would she be wrong to ask?


----------



## Lila

Evinrude58 said:


> They’re not dating, they’re living together. And he doesn’t have a problem with her Career choice, just her few guys she rips pubes off of and repositions their erect weiners from time to time. There’s not a thing wrong with him asking her to hold off on the male waxes. If she says no, he then has the right to move on. He’s not going to. He’s already at the “I’ll do anything for her” stage.
> If t strikes me odd that he apparently doesn’t have the right to request she changes something in her life. Nothing wrong with asking. If he ran a gym and occasionally offered full body spray tans to super hot nude women, and she told him that made her uncomfortable. Would she be wrong to ask?


I said it before, he can express his feelings on the matter and she should listen. What he shouldn't expect is to have her change. 

This is not a she problem. It's a he problem. His problem, his responsibility to fix whether it's to find ways to cope with it or to leave the relationship, it's his problem to fix. 

If it was a woman dating a guy who spray tanned naked women, I would be giving her all kinds of hell. No one should get into a relationship with someone with the intent to change them. The advice would be the same, express your concerns ONCE, then either let it go or split up. Harping on the same issue over and over and over is a death knell.


----------



## In Absentia

Lila said:


> I said it before, he can express his feelings on the matter and she should listen. What he shouldn't expect is to have her change.
> 
> This is not a she problem. It's a he problem. His problem, his responsibility to fix whether it's to find ways to cope with it or to leave the relationship, it's his problem to fix.
> 
> If it was a woman dating a guy who spray tanned naked women, I would be giving her all kinds of hell. No one should get into a relationship with someone with the intent to change them. The advice would be the same, express your concerns ONCE, then either let it go or split up. Harping on the same issue over and over and over is a death knell.


I'm glad it's you trying to convince the hardcore anti-pube masses here...


----------



## hinterdir

Lila said:


> I said it before, he can express his feelings on the matter and she should listen. What he shouldn't expect is to have her change.
> 
> This is not a she problem. It's a he problem. His problem, his responsibility to fix whether it's to find ways to cope with it or to leave the relationship, it's his problem to fix.
> 
> If it was a woman dating a guy who spray tanned naked women, I would be giving her all kinds of hell. No one should get into a relationship with someone with the intent to change them. The advice would be the same, express your concerns ONCE, then either let it go or split up. Harping on the same issue over and over and over is a death knell.


lol,

You are a little bit fired up and vitriolic in your tone there. 
This seems to have hit a nerve. 

Of course no one has to do anything. 

This is very simple. He is dating one of the few women that will be working on a nude man's privates up close and personal for 30 minutes to an hour....from time to time. He doesn't want his girl doing that. 

Easy Peasy. Tell her you don't like it. Tell her how you feel....ask her to not do that on men. 
Easy Peasy. She can evaluate it...how important he is....how important this one aspect of the job is.....how important this job is altogether. She decides....yes, I'll stop. No I won't stop. I'll just get a different job. 

If she stops.....case closed.
If she doesn't stop.....move on to another girl where this rare situation isn't part of life....case closed....or try and stay with her and deal with the angst. 

Everyone is free to do whatever they want. As long as both of them lay all their cards on the table....tell how they feel, what they want, what items they can work around, what are hard deal breakers....etc. they can just make their own decisions based on the truth, reality and all the facts. 

No reason for anyone to get upset. Especially not us uninvolved posters.


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## DownByTheRiver

hinterdir said:


> lol,
> 
> You are a little bit fired up and vitriolic in your tone there.
> This seems to have hit a nerve.
> 
> Of course no one has to do anything.
> 
> This is very simple. He is dating one of the few women that will be working on a nude man's privates up close and personal for 30 minutes to an hour....from time to time. He doesn't want his girl doing that.
> 
> Easy Peasy. Tell her you don't like it. Tell her how you feel....ask her to not do that on men.
> Easy Peasy. She can evaluate it...how important he is....how important this one aspect of the job is.....how important this job is altogether. She decides....yes, I'll stop. No I won't stop. I'll just get a different job.
> 
> If she stops.....case closed.
> If she doesn't stop.....move on to another girl where this rare situation isn't part of life....case closed....or try and stay with her and deal with the angst.
> 
> Everyone is free to do whatever they want. As long as both of them lay all their cards on the table....tell how they feel, what they want, what items they can work around, what are hard deal breakers....etc. they can just make their own decisions based on the truth, reality and all the facts.
> 
> No reason for anyone to get upset. Especially not us uninvolved posters.


All he's going to do is lower her estimation of him, because it really is his problem. She's not doing sex work. She's not turned on by any of this. She's having to do something that a lot of medical professionals have to do everyday. Of course if this was a situation where he found out she was a sex worker, I doubt there'll be much conversation at all and it would just be a no-brainer not to stay with her.


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## DownByTheRiver

Also, if you're going to make a request she stopped doing it, I would accompany that with an offer to pay her $500 a month to make up for her income loss, because that's going to be her high ticket item.


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## hinterdir

DownByTheRiver said:


> All he's going to do is lower her estimation of him, because it really is his problem. She's not doing sex work. She's not turned on by any of this. She's having to do something that a lot of medical professionals have to do everyday. Of course if this was a situation where he found out she was a sex worker, I doubt there'll be much conversation at all and it would just be a no-brainer not to stay with her.


I don't know why you are quoting me. 

They are either compatible or not. If they aren't.....who cares....they shouldn't be together anyway. 
If him telling her his REAL feelings and it results in her lowering her estimation of him........TADA......they aren't a good match. No harm......no foul. On to the next guy for her.......on to the next girl for him. 3.5 BILLION men.......3.5 BILLION women. Lots of other options, not everyone is a good fit. 

Be truthful, real and honest. Let the chips fall where they may.


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## Quad73

@BFG69, to DBTR's point, are her hours working on these men easily replaceable with other female clients? Would it be just a month or two before she could be at the same income level, working only with female clients if you asked her?

If so you could offer her something of equal value for that interval, day at a fancy spa, weekend getaway, ie something to make this lemon into a tropical drink. 

Personally I wouldn't offer cash compensation; that's just me, it seems a bit cold and awkward.

All humor re squeezing lemons unintentional.


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## ccpowerslave

Quad73 said:


> All humor re squeezing lemons unintentional.


🍋🍋🕯😱😯😲🙊


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## Lila

hinterdir said:


> lol,
> 
> You are a little bit fired up and vitriolic in your tone there.
> This seems to have hit a nerve.


That's interesting you think my tone is bitter for stating facts. It's possible some would see it that way if my words were triggering. I am definitely not fired up or bitter. This might be projection on your part. 




> Of course no one has to do anything.
> 
> This is very simple. He is dating one of the few women that will be working on a nude man's privates up close and personal for 30 minutes to an hour....from time to time. He doesn't want his girl doing that.
> 
> Easy Peasy. Tell her you don't like it. Tell her how you feel....ask her to not do that on men.
> Easy Peasy. She can evaluate it...how important he is....how important this one aspect of the job is.....how important this job is altogether. She decides....yes, I'll stop. No I won't stop. I'll just get a different job.
> 
> If she stops.....case closed.
> If she doesn't stop.....move on to another girl where this rare situation isn't part of life....case closed....or try and stay with her and deal with the angst.
> 
> Everyone is free to do whatever they want. As long as both of them lay all their cards on the table....tell how they feel, what they want, what items they can work around, what are hard deal breakers....etc. they can just make their own decisions based on the truth, reality and all the facts.
> 
> No reason for anyone to get upset. Especially not us uninvolved posters.


You do realize we are saying the same thing, right?


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## heartsbeating

An additional thought - there could be other roll on effects with those male clients if she’s been in the industry a while and built up a client base, as in they could be spouses of female clients and / or they may have other beauty services with her… stopping one aspect could be detrimental to business in other ways. Anyway, just a thought.


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## Evinrude58

Maybe OP doesn’t wNt to tell his buds that’s he’s sleeping with a male stripper, or a pube plucker, or have his buds ask him why his old lady rips the strip on 2 instead of waiting for three? 
There’s any number of good reasons he wants her to stop. If she continues, she should get a business name like Jaqueline the ripper or something, so she can get more business and start making it worth her while.


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