# New mom and still can't trust the husband!



## crazybunnie25 (Nov 18, 2009)

So my past was nothing but horrible, from cheating to a divorce.

Now I remarried, just had a child(nov 29, 2009). The new husband was deployed when I was 6 months pregnant. He went from always chatting with me, to barely chatting to just sitting online and not typing anything unless I have a question.

I asked him if he was cheating on me(because I'm still afraid). He said no and that he doesn't want to do anything to lose me and the baby.

Well I ended up giving birth on my own. My family doesn't support me and doesn't care what will happen to me. So my husband and this baby is all I got.

The base he was at let him come home 7 days before his leave.

Ever since he got here he wasn't very loving at all. He came home, changed everything around so he can be comfortable. Sleeps all night unless I wake him to help with the baby.

Then two nights ago his phone rang and it was the Urgent Care(a quick medical place). He just ran off to talk on it.

When he came out I asked him what's up and he said it was nothing. I kept bugging him and he eventually said he went to get tested for STDs.

He said he tested negative but still need to take antibiotics?!?! 

How the hell am I suppose to feel about this?!?!

It is bad enough we sleep in the same bed and don't even cuddle. **** there's a 12 inch space between us!! We barely even kiss each other anymore!!! I say I'm stressed out and mad at him for not making me feel loved. All he does is just sit there or goes online!!!!!!

Its so hard for me to wake up 8 to 12 times a night to feed the baby and just feel alone when I'm not!!

I know I should approach him about this but he just does not want to say or do anything?!

Should I just tell him that I want out of this relationship? I honestly do not want to be with him when he is like this. I can't stand another heart break.

I'm trying so hard to keep myself on level ground for the little baby, but things are just getting really hard.

Oh and I got nosy and looked on his laptop. He is the typical guy got porn and crap. I also forgot to mention he always log off his email when I walk by as if he doesn't want me to look at it. I'm soo bothered!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

Having a little baby is one of the toughest experiences life gives. (That's why those little ones are so darn cute!!!)
My H had a very very difficult time with our babies. The attention was taken away from him and two times he got into relationships with people who made him feel like a single hot stud, both when we had little ones. 

I certainly didn't look my best at the time. And the hormones, lack of sleep, and general "is-my-baby-alive?" stress - is just very very hard. 

Do you think he is jelous of the attention he received before baby? Stupid I know - but really. Many mom's fall into "everything about the baby" mode and its hard to get outside of that.

And, yeah, I wouldn't feel right about the STD stuff. Something definitely up there. 

First and foremost, take care of yourself and your baby. You don't have to make ANY decisions right now. Give it some time. Ask him everything you want. And if he's defensive, angry, he's not being truthful. That's my opinion - from my H's experience. 

He might not be 'over' whatever he might have been in. Do you know any of his peers that you could talk to about where he was stationed? 

I'm really sorry your experiencing this. Don't make any decisions right now. Give it time. You will learn and understand more soon.


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## crazybunnie25 (Nov 18, 2009)

So far there really isn't anything hard about the little one. She sleeps alot and only cries(not very loud either) to be fed or diaper change. I'm a light sleeper, any sound can wake my butt up. I usually don't sleep more then 6 hours a day anyways. I just can't do it for some reason.

Husband made this pregnancy as easy as it can be, letting me be unemployed and let me pretty much do as I wish while he is away.

His excuse for not waking up is because she cries so softly, and I'm just really sensitive to her cries. 

I've try my best today to get as much information out of him. He said that he hasn't cheated on me. Saying that I'm being paranoid because my hormones is messed up from the pregnancy. Also he blames my past relationship for the way I feel.

I tried showing him how much I want him sexually. I haven't had sex for 4 months and supposely can't til my 6 weeks check up appt, which is in January, and he goes back before the appt!! So no fun for me, til the deployment is over(which is in Aug 2010)!!!
I'm overly needy in that area today and everyday before/after.
BUT he stopped me saying that he isn't in the mood. Rolled over and passed out. SOO not fair! 

My husband is MR. PREFECT, Mr. Too Good To Be True. He has a way with words that makes me feel naive.
He say he always wanted a baby girl. Has her name picked out even before he met me. 
He wants me to be a house wife, while he provides for the family. He say that would make him very happy, but I feel like its not true. Plus I hate feeling like I'm a burden, depending on him for everything.

He's not jealous that is for sure. I'm the one fighting for attention and getting nothing in the end. Before I got pregnant. I was working 40 hours a week, while he works 50 hours a week. I would buy things for him like a Playstation 3(extra controller and 4 games), 52" LCD HDTV and new shoes. Just because I want to spoil him. He would be a gentleman and pay for dinner or the movies if we go out. I would prefer just staying in and cook dinner and cuddle in bed with movies playing on the tv.
I made him feel like he is a King and there is nothing in the world better then him.
Then I ended up pregnant and nothing changed. He asked me to stop working so that I wouldn't be stressed out from being pregnant and working at the same time. I stopped working about two months before I gave birth.

Unfortunally I don't know anyone who is stationed with him to ask.

Like I said he is like Mr. Perfect, then just became Mr. Stranger. He does things that isn't him.

I ask him to cuddle with me and watch a movie. But he rather plays a computer game. Everything he does basically does not include being loving or caring anymore.


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