# Exposed 2/3 OM



## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

Feeling alright today. I'm glad that I am getting things done, just in the past 2 days i have exposed 2 of the OM from the online cheater website. Yesterday I handed a letter to the spouse of one of them at her place of work, the letter contained enough information to prove it was real. I handed her the letter, she happily said thank you, i then assured her that it was not a good letter unfortunately, it was about her husband, and i left without exchanging any information.

Today i exposed the OM she had the most hook-ups with to his wife. She had found one my wifes hairs in his car several months ago, so she wasn't in disbelief when i answered her question as to what her letter was about. She asked many questions, such as my name, which i included in the letter, and asked for many details that were actually included in the letter as well. She asked me to take her number for if i find any more information she should know, but i did not give her mine. I don't believe i will need to contact her again. Doing this has brought a small sense of closure to me about her affairs with them. Now the other betrayed spouse knows, and if i hadn't done what i did they might have never found out. FWW helped with exposing both by giving details to help in proving it is real to the other BS, showing me the home of 1 of them, and confirming pictures of both so i was sure i had the right person.

Doing this was a bit of a double edged sword, because now i know what they look like. Its not that they were so much better looking than I, its that now i feel like they were more attractive to her, at least at that time. I'm a short guy, '5"6, some muscular build, not far from being in good shape, but not there yet. all the OM were 10-16 years older than I(and her), and taller than I. The 2 I have seen weren't in amazing shape but did have a muscular build of some degree. To any average girl both of them would probably be more sexually attractive than me because of their age and height alone. Thinking about that makes me wonder about her comparing us again, which she probably does whether she realizes it or not. I guess i really wouldn't know though only having 1 partner.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I believe that you are separated. Why would you want to reconcile with her? Did you both get tested for STD's? Surely she must have realized that engaging in these affairs she would be destroying her marriage. Did you ever ask if it was worth it?

I commend you for exposing. You did absolutely the right thing. Good luck.


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

We were separated. I let her come back home last month so that I could see if she is truly changing and working on why she would do such a terrible thing. Std test clean. So far everything she has told me has been accurate and hasn't changed other than 1 time she changed something that was a big deal a week after she came back. 

She is working really hard on herself andto do anything she can to save this marriage. Weekly ic, lots of reading and talking, cut out almost all of her friends, complete transparency, and is basically doing anything she can to save this if I still want it. Especially this pastweek I've been leaning towards R. She has owned her ****, she says it was not worth it at all, that she would do or give anything to change what she has done or to take my pain away. She is remorseful, and really wants a healthy marriage with me, she is showing me that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

That rationalization hamster helped her when she thought about how wrong it was and how it would destroy her marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

I read your post. I am glad you outed the OM to their wives. That really is a good sense of closure there. I am sorry this happened to you.

When I had my DDay, my EX told me I wasn't physically attractive to her anymore. I hit the gym, got back in shape and let go of a lot of anger there. I met a beautiful girl. I was always shy but the first night I met her, when I was saying good bye. I kissed her because I was going to be damned if I was getting stuck in the friends box. She was hot. Women want a confidant man. It's attractive. Don't let the fact that you aren't the tallest guy in the world bother you.

Realize that the other guys are POS. I hope you can R. It is your decision. Be attentive and alert and hold her accountable. Good luck!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Great job exposing the OM!

Does your WW know you have done this?


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Don't compare yourself to the other guys. Unless you want to pull a Tom Cruise and wear platform shoes, there is nothing you can do about your height  This had nothing to do with what you look like and everything to do with her character. Btw, Mickey Rooney is 5'2" and had a sex life to rival Wilt's.

Focus on yourself. Work on improving yourself ... for you. Identify and drop bad habits. Educate yourself. Hit the gym and eat a healthy diet. Don't do it for her ... do it for you. You'll be ok no matter how your situation works out. You'll be better than ever.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey strongsad---so she is home, working on things----she worked on things all the other times, and still "dissed" you so badly---she brought men into your own bedroom------she lied/manipulated/planned/deceived---and yet you keep going back for more

Yes you did the right thing contacted the other betrayed wife's----but lets get back to the real deal-----WHY is she still in this mge----she doesn't respect you----why is she back---she doesn't LOVE you---she has proved that numerous times, she doesn't love her SON, she has proved that numerous times--------is she back cuz she is scared sh*tless to wear the tag of Divorced adultress, who is now gonna have to work, long hard hours, just to break even financially-----believe me, the last thing she wants, is to be out on her own------that must be why she has come back---cuz I promise you, she could care less about you/the mge/the family/her own son.

What does it take----do you really like the misery----for that is what your life is with this woman----how can you have any love whatsoever for this woman----and please do not tell me she is a good mother---she is horrible role model----I don't have to give you any examples, you have stated all the terrible things she has done to you---how does that equate to her being a decent mother----IT DOESN'T

OK, so you are gonna R----has there been any accountability---besides, the 2 of you being seperated

Has she signed a POST--NUP with a DURESS clause----has she been removed from the marital bedroom, along with her clothes, and cosmetics, to some small room in the house, has she been made to as of now---BE RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYING HALF OF ALL MARITAL DEBTS-----and I do mean ALL

Has she had to give up any of her previous decent lifestyle--

-so she can't talk to men, and she is transparent, and you are now her PAROLE OFFICER---by the way, do you enjoy that job---did you think when you took sacred vows, that parole officer, would be part of to have and to hold, till death do us part

She ripped you up, and spit you out---she took chance after chance that you gave her---and just said SCREW YOU H---I want these other guys, and I do not give a sh*t about you or my flesh and blood son----Do I have it right??????

Then I ask you one simple question---WHY is she allowed to be anywhere near you, or the son she claims to be the mother of-----and I ask you one more simple question---How much MISERY are you willing to endure??????


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

Shaggy said:


> Great job exposing the OM!
> 
> Does your WW know you have done this?


Thanks!
Yes, she helped me do it. I honestly wouldn't have been able to do it without her. She showed me where 1 of them lived, and confirmed their pictures when i thought i was sure i had the right people. 

She knows. 1 of the other BS has been trying to talk to her, my mistake of telling her our last name when she started asking questions about what happened, i didn't plan on giving her that and i regret doing it now because she is asking a lot of questions and wanting me to confront the OM. Not gonna happen.


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Don't compare yourself to the other guys. Unless you want to pull a Tom Cruise and wear platform shoes, there is nothing you can do about your height  This had nothing to do with what you look like and everything to do with her character. Btw, Mickey Rooney is 5'2" and had a sex life to rival Wilt's.
> 
> Focus on yourself. Work on improving yourself ... for you. Identify and drop bad habits. Educate yourself. Hit the gym and eat a healthy diet. Don't do it for her ... do it for you. You'll be ok no matter how your situation works out. You'll be better than ever.


I know, but its hard not to compare myself when they were so different than I. One was close to double my age, about a foot taller than I, and just a built but chunky looking guy. She would have done it with almost anyone though really, she even said that. He was just the one that synced up with her work schedule the best.

I have a little extra fat to get rid of still, and i have been working on that, but by no means am in bad shape, exercising almost everyday has helped me a lot through this as well.



jnj express said:


> Hey strongsad---so she is home,
> working on things----she worked on things all the other times, and still "dissed" you so badly---she brought men into your own bedroom------she lied/manipulated/planned/deceived---and yet you keep going back for more
> 
> Yes you did the right thing contacted the other betrayed wife's----but lets get back to the real deal-----WHY is she still in this mge----she doesn't respect you----why is she back---she doesn't LOVE you---she has proved that numerous times, she doesn't love her SON, she has proved that numerous times--------is she back cuz she is scared sh*tless to wear the tag of Divorced adultress, who is now gonna have to work, long hard hours, just to break even financially-----believe me, the last thing she wants, is to be out on her own------that must be why she has come back---cuz I promise you, she could care less about you/the mge/the family/her own son.
> ...


Because for once in her life, she accepted what she had done, accepted it was her choice to do it and she had no right at all, realized that she has to be a very messed up person to be able to do all that to the one person she loves more than anything. She told me she understands if i want a divorce and will not try to stop me, but that she will do anything i will let her to show me she will change and will never do anything like this again. She says she will wait as long as it takes for me to decide. 

And after we separated, she actually confessed everything she had ever done to me since day 1. She knew i would probably divorce her, she told me that she didn't expect me to ever want to see her again. she gave me that letter while we were separated and i do believe it has everything, it was a lot. She has also agreed to take a polygraph test to verify that there is nothing else.

She is working on fixing things, and she does not want the life or marriage we had before, neither of us do. She knows if she doesn't respect me, if she does this again, i will leave her. She knows that. Anything even close to her doing it again, anything, and we are finished. She believes me. If i can be happy with her and let my son grow up in an unbroken home, that would be ideal.


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

it just seems like your wife got her rocks off at your expense, and now you have to suck it up for the sake of the family.

she gets a free pass while you sit and wallow. seems unfair.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

cledus_snow said:


> it just seems like your wife got her rocks off at your expense, and now you have to suck it up for the sake of the family.
> 
> she gets a free pass while you sit and wallow. seems unfair.





strongsad said:


> I know, but its hard not to compare myself when they were so different than I. One was close to double my age, about a foot taller than I, and just a built but chunky looking guy. She would have done it with almost anyone though really, she even said that. He was just the one that synced up with her work schedule the best.
> 
> I have a little extra fat to get rid of still, and i have been working on that, but by no means am in bad shape, exercising almost everyday has helped me a lot through this as well.
> 
> ...


Does not look like this WW got off scott free.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

No---now she has to be a good girl---but I am willing to bet strongsad---said all these same things, three times prior to this---so why will this be different, let us say one year from now---when wifey perceives she is bored, or doesn't like some decision strongsad made/makes


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

strongsad, please stop opening new threads. Stick to one. Thanks!


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

strongsdad I have great respect for you.


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