# Hubby is not affectionate after coming back from affair



## Saklamaritza (Apr 8, 2009)

To make the story short, we have been married for little over 3 years and still have no kids. Last October i found out my husband was having an affair with a woman from work, he eventually confessed to it but kept on seeing her and neglecting me. He would come home everyday at 11.00pm or later except on fridays or saturdays when he would leave at 06.00pm to come back early morning the next day. Eventually we agreed that he should move out so that we could have some peace of mind, i thought i had played my cards right because 15 days later i came back to a home full of roses and an apologetic husband asking me to take him back. It has been almost 2 months since that happened and recently he says that he doesn't feel the marriage anymore, that he can't make plans for anything ahead further than a week because he doesn't see a future, he actually claims that he has "lost his smile". I have tried to be supportive, i have not been acting out of jealousy, i have been planning days out trying to be as positive as i can. I know getting my marriage back on track is going to take time but sometimes i feel he is too depressed or guilty about his behaviour to move forward. So i am asking the men and women out there for their advice on how can i help my husband back into our marriage. 
P.S. I know he still has feelings for this girl, but he did make a choice to stay with me. 
Cheers,


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

ok he went back to her after he told you, because he wanted his own bed of roses. you should have let him go then. he wanted her, not you in that scenario.

the roses were because hed had an argument with her and wanted to lay in your bed again. guilt. but he knows your stil there and wanting him , so your easy.

you really want him back. give him all the space he needs without the safety net.
dont let him touch, kiss , sleep with you.
this is called the mental approach. simply dont give in and give this time.
in the mean time i suggest you go out and have some fun yourself.
make this your excuse .
if your H calls, say sorry im going out. 
you wil soon get him thinking.
but do this for the right reasons.
play his game your way.


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

Honey,

Read thru your own lines.

He left you for a hottie.

She heated him right.

She kicked him out.

He homeless, filled your place with roses and temp flame of reconcilation.

He in 2 months, Damm why am I here with HER (You) there is hot stuff out there.

Babe, he is telling you its over. I grant the man kudo's for honesty.

Now take your emotions put them in a box, and move on with your life.

You cannot force another to love you, especially when they like the other's taste.

PS: It wasn't a choice it was a need in all likeyhood.

Good luck


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## Saklamaritza (Apr 8, 2009)

I know it might sound simple to you; she kicked him out = he is back. But this is not true, other people from their office with whom i am friends have told me she is going through a heel of her own because of their separation. Yes, perhaps he feels there is something out there but he is making an effort here. I guess my position might be difficult to understand unless you really got married out of crazy love... but thanks for your input, i'll keep it in mind


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## Saklamaritza (Apr 8, 2009)

to complete the info above, he moved out to a place of his own not with her, so he wasn't exactly homeless after their breakup. I seriously wnat to give this a try before throwing it all away, he has told me he wants this too... but he is having a rough time (and so am i)...
I do not fear going away from him, i think i have had enough time to prepare myself for that situation, i just dont feel like adding up to the divorce statistics before really trying. 
Thanks again for your replies. 
Have a lovely day and to all of you enjoying easter holidays an awesome weekend


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

the only person who lives your life, is you. for as much as anyone can give advice, you wil take on board snippets of information and decide what you want to do.
which is important because in the end, its stil your marriage and you stil know what you want from it.
take care and i hope things work out for u.


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