# How many women are in EA's when they say they need space?



## OldTex (Nov 14, 2010)

Real glad to have found this forum. I have a question. I have been reading all I can find about making a marriage work, and have heard that 90% of the time when a women says she needs space, it means she is having an EA. My question how many on this forum feels the same? We have been seperated for a week now. Please answer. I will post more info when I have the time and the clear mind to do so Thanks


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Mine was already in an EA when we separated. I would say 90% sounds fairly reasonable.

You might try posting this in the Infidelity section.


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

"I need space" can also mean, "I'm not sure about you right now and I am maxed out on emotional stress..." Pressing her out of the space will only piss her off and make matters worse. It's scary when a partner says it - I know... but your relationship has a better chance of smoothing out if you are respectful of her wishes (even if you find out she is undeserving of the respect down the road). Everyone needs a break - relationships are HARD work!!! I hope for your sake she isn't having an EA but if you do uncover that she is - as long as the love is still there don't give up on the relationship because there is life after EA's and it is possible to patch things up with a lot of difficult emotional work & communication. 
Awaiting your details - I really hope everything works out for you OldTex!


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

What on earth....


I need space! It's not a bad thing, I need physical time away from my husband and family and not to be with another man. I like to go spend time with my horses, ride and decompress. I have always been like this since I was a child. I like my space, piece and quiet without having to care for them. It's a couple hours a few times a week.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

If your marriage is already on the rocks, there is substantial emotional distance; and you say, "We should work on trying to become closer ..." and her response is "I just need you to give me some space right now ..."

She flat out has no desire for, or attraction to you - 100%

She is invested in someone else, and wants space and distance to pursue the relationship - Yeah, I'm good with 90%

There is a world of difference between giving your partner emotional breathing room by avoiding questioning, pursuing, smothering, possessive, needy behavior, versus your wife saying, "I'm going to stay with a 'friend' for a few days to clear my head."

Her request for physical distance and freedom _under these circumstances_ is a big, fat, red flag.


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## sntdwn2ufrmhvn (May 20, 2010)

ok well i don't think this rule applies to only women, i personally believe that when a man OR woman requests a break or space in a relationship it means one if not both of the following: they are already involved in some type of relationship with someone else, they want to start something with someone and they don't want to feel guilty about it.

people often think it's okay to talk to other people, sleep with other people, and engage in acts they wouldn't normally when on a "break" from the person they are with, whether marriage or not.

my dh cheated on me about 9 months ago, he asked if i wanted for us to take a break? i said "haha, you think you are getting off that easy?" Nope, that would just be me giving him more time to cheat, i laid down the law, and let him know how things would start going if he wanted to keep me. 9 months later he's the husband he should've been all along...and i've been digging alot and found nothing.

the best way to handle the "break" or "space" convo is to say "uh NO"...either we are together or we are done for good...you pick!!


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