# Tried to be sexy and it backfired



## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

I honestly don’t even know what the **** just happened here. But I am in tears and could use a little outside insight. 

I don’t wear lingerie. Don’t own any lingerie. Husband said he would love to see me in some lingerie. I told him it was hard to get lingerie to fit by bust size in something classy that we could afford. 

So today I popped into Walmart to get Easter basket stuff and see this sheer lace black teddy for $9.97. Seriously? I think it is perfect and can’t wait to show him. 

I serve corned beef and cabbage, we play family board games...and as he is getting the kids to bed I went into the bathroom and took a pic of me in the lingerie and sent it to him. And the night went to hell. 

He asked if the photo was meant for him. Um, yes, you requested the lingerie. Proceded to say that he would have liked it if I just showed up in our room in the lingerie, but my texting it was a turn off. Hello? 

What am I missing? We literally had the best sex EVER the previous night. He has gone to bed alone and I want to burn the $9.97 teddy that I thought was pretty hot. 

The explanations I have come up with are that the ***** he cheated with texted photos previously or that he is cheating again now. I have no evidence or gut feeling on that last one - but being told your sexy pictures were unwelcome?

I get he is saying that he would have liked to have been surprised in bed with the lingerie, but why does the texted photo negate it to the point that he is pissed?


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

If I were your H, I would've ravaged you. Period. A woman who loves you and willing to give herself to you is a treasure. Your post really makes me sad. I am sorry.

ETA: Please take my perspective for what it is, I've had issues in the past with intimacy in my marriage. I like what @sokillme has to say.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

OK so this is not the end of the world. This whole thing is new to both of you, sounds like you want to kind of open up to him sexually, and he is kind of shocked by that. So your husband is not into texts and it is so unusual for him that he just freaked out. He handled it bad but I don't think it means he cheated. He told you he would like to see you in bed with it but at that point you were hurt because he freaked out. Sounds like the kind of thing that happens in marriage. 

OK so first off take the fact that he wants you to show up in bed like that as something to put on the back burner. Good to know right?

Next both you you sit down and talk about what just happened, preferably after you both calm down.

Lookup entreating. This is how you need to go about this. "Husband my feelings are really hurt that you would think I could cheat on you. Why would you think that?" Talk about that. Next "The reason why I did that is because I thought it would be fun, you see i was wearing it, you ask for it so I wanted to surprise you, obviously I am not cheating." Might want to mention how good the sex was before. Finally, "No I have to admit I am a little worried that your first thought is cheating when it comes to text why do you automatically think that?"

Look this is pretty much marriage 101, I think you both just read each others signs totally wrong. It happens, the real test though is how you come back from it. Entreat your husband, be vulnerable with your hurt. If he is a good man he will get that, if not at least you know.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

That was a d1ck move on his part IMHO. I would do back flips and write home to mom if my wife sent me any kind of sexy, flirty text. 

But I don't see how this relates to cheating at all. 

He may be kind of a jerk (and a dumb jerk at that) but I don't see how it makes him a cheater.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

oldshirt said:


> That was a d1ck move on his part IMHO. I would do back flips and write home to mom if my wife sent me any kind of sexy, flirty text.
> 
> But I don't see how this relates to cheating at all.
> 
> He may be kind of a jerk (and a dumb jerk at that) but I don't see how it makes him a cheater.


I had to go back and read some of B's other posts, but I believe she's a BS?

I'm so, very sorry. I would be beyond hurt if this had happened to me - and then I could totally picture myself getting very angry. 

Your husband was extremely unkind and unthankful. 

I'm a one and done type of person, and it'd be a cold day in hell before he'd see me in lingerie again.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Bluesclues


I can understand your reaction.

You really do need to have a talk to him about it. I sounds like the photo was more suggestive than revealing, so his reaction to is it just odd.


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

Bizarre.

Understanding this demands filling in a lot of missing context. You have suggested some things, maybe so. Extreme insecurity? 

My feeling is that turning down sex from my wife is fatal. Plenty of other guys willing to show her appreciation.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

He’s resentful, so he took the picture (instead of in person) as a half assed, not all in, attempt. He took it as an insult, or maybe as a tease he didn’t think you’d follow through with. 


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> *He’s resentful*, so he took the picture (instead of in person) as a half assed, not all in, attempt. He took it as an insult, or maybe as a tease he didn’t think you’d follow through with.


What is he resentful of?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

minimalME said:


> What is he resentful of?




Who knows. She starts off saying she never wears it so that could be it. The fact she never wears it makes me make all sorts of assumptions about their sex life. Anyway his reaction strongly hints at resentment of some kind. 


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Wow, trust issues. He got paranoid when he received the text. 

Sounds like it's still fresh. Let him calm down and maybe in the morning he'll apologise. Likely a misunderstanding.


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## Lonelygent1977 (Feb 20, 2018)

Something is amiss here, I know that if my wife showed me any interest let alone sending me a photo of herself in sexy lingerie, the second she walked into the bedroom she would be ravaged immediately.

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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*This is his problem, @Bluesclues, and he needs counseling for it! You did good and tried to convey your sexiness to him the best way that you knew how!

Don't share in on his grief toward you ~ IMHO, you absolutely did nothing wrong!*


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

He probably text pictures back and fourth with his affaire partner, and thought you were busting his balls.

Or thought because he cheated that now you were cheating! 

Something is very amiss with his responce.

Look himmit the face and ask him ..what the hell type of responce was that! I went way outside my comfort zonevand you treared me like $hit.


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

We talked early this morning. I told him how much what he did hurt. He said he was sorry, sorry he missed out and asked if I could wear it tonight. He is a very black and white thinker and if he doesn’t see the point in something it is stupid. He thought my text was stupid. I thought it was playful. He stands by not seeing the point of it - why text a pic when he can see it in person in 2 minutes. He also said my timing wasn’t great, as he had a few too many for St Paddy’s. 

I don’t really think he is cheating - that is just where my mind goes when he does something hurtful. I am a BS, but it has been 4 years and almost 3 months since DDay. I will never know if the COW sent pics. He said no when asked way back when, but who knows, and I am not revisiting the details questions. I am severely codependent and have PTSD. He has made huge changes (obviously being a **** every now and again is not one of them) so these things are now on me, but that is a different post for a different forum. 

Part of this is my insecurities about myself. I am not the healthiest me I have ever been and don’t like it. Taking those pictures and sending it was hard for me. We talked about that this morning too. He asked why it was a big deal since I know I am the most beautiful girl in the world. Hello? I don’t know that. You cheated on me and the response to my picture was not “omg I have to have you” it was “wtf?” Do you have any idea how many shots I had to take to get one I felt okay to send? I have a friend who is 300 lbs+ and when you see the selfies she posts you would think she is Cindy Crawford’s sister. Meanwhile I am spending 15 minutes in our half bath the size of an airplane bathroom trying to get one shot I deem acceptable. Maybe he is right, maybe it is stupid. 

Thanks for letting me vent a bit. My husband is certainly a box of chocolates. After being the most insensitive jerk face, and making me watch the Ballad of Ricky Bobby four times again this weekend, after our talk he put on the pilot of This is Us (a series I have wanted to watch and he said hell no) and we both sobbed through three episodes before the kids woke up.


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## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

If I cheated, in the back of my mind I would probably always be afraid my partner is going to have revenge sex. Since you've never sent him a picture like this before his heart probably sank thinking it finally happened. You said his first reaction was to ask if the picture was meant for him. He was acting angry but was probably more scared, because he didn't know whether to believe you or not. I'm sure you'll get a much better reaction going forward if he now believes your efforts were meant for him alone. Sounds like he does.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

OK, my first thought if my wife sexted me would be WTF? We love having lots of fun, but when we weigh the benefits of exchanging naughty pictures with the risk and social cost of them being made public, we just don't go there.

All that said, his reaction was bad. I don't know if it is because of his cheating or maybe he's just a pyschpath. Either way, anyone with normal emotions and a normal sense for other people's needs would not react the way he did for fear of causing exactly the reaction he caused. You have my sympathy. It must suck to be married to someone like that.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

I think your gesture was adorable. He did miss out, but it's good @Bluesclues that you talked about it.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Oh its really awful that he reacted like that. I'm glad you have at least partially talked it out, but he was still completely out of line.

I'm always extremely appreciative when my wife does something like that. Even when she got a special outfit for my birthday that was.....well... hideous. I never told her because it really meant much more to me that she *wanted* to do something for me, that that the final effect wasn't great. I still told her how attractive she was - and it was the complete truth.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Bluesclues said:


> We talked early this morning. I told him how much what he did hurt. H*e said he was sorry, sorry he missed out and asked if I could wear it tonight*. He is a very black and white thinker and if he doesn’t see the point in something it is stupid. He thought my text was stupid. I thought it was playful. He stands by not seeing the point of it - why text a pic when he can see it in person in 2 minutes. He also said my timing wasn’t great, as he had a few too many for St Paddy’s.
> 
> I don’t really think he is cheating - that is just where my mind goes when he does something hurtful. I am a BS, *but it has been 4 years and almost 3 months since DDay. *I will never know if the COW sent pics. He said no when asked way back when, but who knows, and I am not revisiting the details questions. I am severely codependent and have PTSD. He has made huge changes (obviously being a **** every now and again is not one of them) so these things are now on me, but that is a different post for a different forum.
> 
> ...


Learn to turn lemons into lemonaide. Sex should be fun and exploratory and when things don't work out you need to laugh and try again.

He asked for sexy cloths and you got some. He didn't like the presentation via his phone. Laugh about it.

Sit down with him and set up a new time for you to display yourself for his enjoyment. Tell him that you want to learn from the last episode and find out how to spring your surprise on him.

Ask him if there is too much negative vibes associated with the $10 Walmart special you got? Ask if there is anything he would especially like to see you in, but caution him that you are not going to get something that doesn't feel good and not going to get something that doesn't fit........but if you can find something you are more than willing to accommodate his visual stimulation every once in a while.

That what this really is. It is an advanced form of foreplay for him. For most men, foreplay can involve physical stimulation through touching, it can involve mental stimulation through talking dirty, it can involve visual stimulation by either posing your body for him or wearing clothes he finds attractive, or it can be some combination of all of the above. Now is your chance to see what you can do to really turn him on prior to hoping in the bed. 

Again, be breve talk to him asking how the two of you can learn from this and make the sex between you even better. Tell him you are willing to try, but he has to help you understand what turns him on, not just what freaks him out.

Good luck.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Young at Heart said:


> Learn to turn lemons into lemonaide. Sex should be fun and exploratory and when things don't work out you need to laugh and try again.
> 
> He asked for sexy cloths and you got some. He didn't like the presentation via his phone. Laugh about it.
> 
> ...


This is all good advice.

But, I think the real issue you're having, OP, may be even more fundamental than just your husband's poor reaction to your attempts to please him. I think the actual problem is perhaps you're still being left to wonder if he's actually worth putting your most vulnerable self this far out of your comfort zone for. 

Some people, some marriages, simply never recover from an affair. If going this far out of your comfort zone for your WH seems like it's just too much, not fair, something you aren't willing or even interested in doing, then your marriage may be one of those that just doesn't recover fully. And that's okay. Especially if he hasn't put in the effort to prove to you that he actually is worth it. A fair number of marriages that have experienced an affair recover in the short term, but just can't be made whole enough again to last long-term.

So, do you feel like this level of effort on your part is worth it? Is your husband putting in this much effort? Is he doing the heavy lifting to ensure your marriage recovers long-term? Or do you feel like you're the one twisting yourself up like a pretzel trying to make him happy while he coasts along? Are you both really committed to doing the hard work of long-term recovery?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Rowan said:


> ...But, I think the real issue you're having, OP, may be even more fundamental than just your husband's poor reaction to your attempts to please him. I think the actual problem is perhaps you're still being left to wonder if he's actually worth putting your most vulnerable self this far out of your comfort zone for.
> 
> Some people, some marriages, simply never recover from an affair. If going this far out of your comfort zone for your WH seems like it's just too much, not fair, something you aren't willing or even interested in doing, then your marriage may be one of those that just doesn't recover fully. And that's okay. Especially if he hasn't put in the effort to prove to you that he actually is worth it. A fair number of marriages that have experienced an affair recover in the short term, but just can't be made whole enough again to last long-term.
> 
> *So, do you feel like this level of effort on your part is worth it?* *Is your husband putting in this much effort? Is he doing the heavy lifting to ensure your marriage recovers long-term?* Or do you feel like you're the one twisting yourself up like a pretzel trying to make him happy while he coasts along? Are you both really committed to doing the hard work of long-term recovery?


Good insights. Maybe some marriage counseling would help clean up and help with the affair recovery.

As an older man who did a lot of heavy lifting to save his marriage, my perspective has always been, if I try everything I can think of to try to rebuild my marriage and I fail, I will have no regrets later in life.

Rather than have the OP worrying about how much heavy lifting she is doing versus how much her H is doing, I would suggest she focus on what she can do and is willing to do to rebuild the spark in their relationship.

She sounds like she has bravely gone where she hasn't before and she should be commended for that. Her H reacted poorly. But after being confronted with his actions he has apologized. That sounds like real progress. Now is the time to forgive and forget. Forgetting is very hard when your ego is involved and you are making yourself emotionally vulnerable by trying new things. Still one of the two of them has to be brave first and make the effort. 

Now another thought. If the OP is really able to get her H's motor running, then she should cuddle and laugh with him about how poorly it started and wonderful and fun it all turned out so he will have no regrets. Then I would suggest she hold him in her arms and tell him next weekend he needs to playfully wear something special to surprise her. 

If he doesn't know how to respond, she could tell him she will choose something for him to wear, but it would be safer if he picked it out. If he can't think of anything, the OP could buy him a silk scarf and tell him to hand it to her while he is in his birthday suit. The OP can use it as a blindfold, a way to secure his wrists or ankles, or something to run over his body to tease him. If unsure she could have him lie on his back and then explain the options and ask him how he would like to wear the silk scarf, so she doesn't freak him out too badly. But the key is to be playful, to laugh when things don't go right and not treat each sexual act to importantly.

I wish the OP and her H a wonderful time. I hope she finds the happiness and connection she is looking for.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Rowan said:


> But, I think the real issue you're having, OP, may be even more fundamental than just your husband's poor reaction to your attempts to please him. I think the actual problem is perhaps you're still being left to wonder if he's actually worth putting your most vulnerable self this far out of your comfort zone for.


Bloody brilliant post, Rowan.


My thought reading the opening post was that by sending the photo (and while under the same roof), it's potentially keeping a level of distance. It's behind a screen. While it may have felt out of your comfort zone, it requires less vulnerability than 'showing up'. That may relate to the level of trust you feel with him, it may relate to the level of trust you have within yourself - to allow yourself to be vulnerable. This may also help you be able to laugh moments off. Or call him a d*ck-head if that's needed too. Maybe a bit of a both, sometimes. 

I get the intention may have been to tease and allure. Maybe it's a matter of shrugging this one off and learning what that means to you both. Flirtation and tease between my husband and I, is knowing what one another likes along with elements of unpredictability and certainly timing is key. For my husband, the appeal of lingerie is often in 'unexpectedly' discovering it... there's a subtlety... along with the touch/feel and removal. It's more than an article of clothing though, it's the eye contact, flirtation, intention, connection and yes, playfulness. 

To be playful requires not taking yourselves too seriously.


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## SGr (Mar 19, 2015)

As ridiculous as his response was, being able to communicate about it is a good takeaway and something to build on.

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## IHS (Mar 22, 2018)

> If I were your H, I would've ravaged you. Period. A woman who loves you and willing to give herself to you is a treasure. Your post really makes me sad. I am sorry.


OH yeah! Lot's of men out here that would very much appreciate the gesture and would have been more than happy to show you how much. You go girl.


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## Etomidate (Mar 10, 2018)

I can understand both of your reactions, although many people here seem to be able to only understand yours. 

First:


Bluesclues said:


> The explanations I have come up with are that the ***** he cheated with texted photos previously or that he is cheating again now. I have no evidence or gut feeling on that last one - but being told your sexy pictures were unwelcome?


If I understand you correctly, your husband previously cheated and part of that infidelity was texting photos back and forth to each other? Perhaps instead of thinking that he's cheating again, you should ask him if the pictures you sent him were a trigger for him? Cheaters also have triggers, especially if they are remorseful and perhaps the photos you sent him brought up painful emotions. Have you asked him why he REALLY got upset at the pictures instead of making assumptions?

Second, from my own experience I also would prefer that my wife surprise me in bed with sexy lingerie rather than sending me a picture of her in them. I mean, what am I supposed to do with a picture? Masturbate to it? It's a much better experience to be surprised in person than with a picture. By sending him a picture you denied him the experience of being surprised, which is much much more exciting than a picture.


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## Etomidate (Mar 10, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> That was a d1ck move on his part IMHO. I would do back flips and write home to mom if my wife sent me any kind of sexy, flirty text.
> 
> But I don't see how this relates to cheating at all.
> 
> He may be kind of a jerk (and a dumb jerk at that) but I don't see how it makes him a cheater.


He could have handled it better, but it doesn't make him a jerk...


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## Etomidate (Mar 10, 2018)

minimalME said:


> I'm a one and done type of person, and it'd be a cold day in hell before he'd see me in lingerie again.


I feel terrible for your husband. My EX wife was like that, and that's the reason she's a miserable and single ex.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Etomidate said:


> I feel terrible for your husband. My EX wife was like that, and that's the reason she's a miserable and single ex.


Indeed.

I divorced my husband - as opposed to staying in a sexless marriage (sexless from his end), and I'm not at all a miserable single. I'm free, I'm independently wealthy, and I do exactly what I want.

If you think that it's okay for a paranoid, selfish, ungrateful man to verbally abuse his spouse, then you and I have very different standards for relationships.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Very odd reaction.
Maybe he felt uncomfortable being put on the spot like that (yeah I know it was actually you who put yourself on the spot but...) having to show an ‘appropriate’ reaction and didn’t know how to react...and when men don’t know how to react we sulk or act grumpy...Or some other half assed non thought through reaction.
Anyway he knew he was an idiot so he apologised. All good now?



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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Bluesclues said:


> The explanations I have come up with are that the ***** he cheated with texted photos previously or that he is cheating again now.


Can you elaborate on this? He cheated with someone who texted him sexy pics?

If so, this probably threw him into a tailspin of guilt (and maybe he thought you were mocking him?)

Where are you with reconciliation? Has he shown sincere remorse? Sounds like there’s still work to be done...


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

Etomidate said:


> I can understand both of your reactions, although many people here seem to be able to only understand yours.
> 
> First:
> 
> ...


It was a trigger for him, but not of the A variety. I’ll get to that in second. 

He was annoyed, not upset. I was upset. But I didn’t take that upset to him immediately, I vented here and worked through it a bit in my head with help from your comments and spoke with him the next day. I am learning that not all things that bring the affair to my mind are actually about the affair. It is the feelings. This one was obviously about rejection. So I related it to fears and feelings about the A here on TAM, but not to him. This is not a rug swept thing - if anything I over emote my thoughts and feelings. It has been well fleshed out after 4+ years. Hurt feelings happen in marriages without infidelity so I can’t keep going back to “well you cheated, so...”. Bringing up an issue in the context of cheating makes him immediately defensive - he always comes around to dropping his defense, but it takes mental energy that could have been used on the immediate issue at hand. Dropping the “infidelity cloak” is something I am working on. 

Your last paragraph about how it would be better being a surprise in person is dead nuts what this was. And I thought that before I sent it - but I read here about what husbands wish their wives did - we actually have a great sex life already - what could adding this hurt? Well, let me tell you...

My husband hates my phone. Hates it. I have very poor boundaries with work related contact (email/text). I am connected 24/7. And I have poo poo’d his complaints about it, but yeah, it is a problem. He deserves undivided attention (as do the kids) without me glancing at my email. I have an important, stressful job, but nobody is not getting a kidney if I don’t reply back during non-business hours. 

That was what his comment of “was this for me?” was about. He was thinking “so now sex is via her phone too?” His comment was snarky. It was insensitive to me, but I guess my sending it was insensitive to him and how he feels about the medium. 

Anyway, all is not lost on the Walmart lingerie front. I dropped the subject after our talk the next morning. He didn’t. Feels badly for his reaction. Keeps bringing up that he will now never see the lingerie. I have kept silent. So now I can actually surprise him in person because he thinks I won’t wear it again. Putting it on tonight. 

And funny, he had no recollection of ever asking me to wear any. He had no desire for me to, we sleep naked, it was a throw away comment flipping through a Kohl’s ad.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

ok, let me take a swing at figuring him out.
He wants sexy lingerie, but just not the one you picked out.
I do not know what he DOES want, but it might have been the color, or the length, or who knows. Sit him down in front of a computer screen and go over to Adam and Eve and have HIM tell you what he wants you to wear. maybe he wants RED color. Maybe he wants a top and thigh high stockings, but nothing more....see what floats his boat.

BTW, i bet you really DID look smokin' hot!!!

also, for future reference, a stretchy fish net body stocking fits ALL sizes and shapes of women!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Bluesclues said:


> We talked early this morning. I told him how much what he did hurt. He said he was sorry, sorry he missed out and asked if I could wear it tonight. He is a very black and white thinker and if he doesn’t see the point in something it is stupid. He thought my text was stupid. I thought it was playful. He stands by not seeing the point of it - why text a pic when he can see it in person in 2 minutes. He also said my timing wasn’t great, as he had a few too many for St Paddy’s.
> 
> I don’t really think he is cheating - that is just where my mind goes when he does something hurtful. I am a BS, but it has been 4 years and almost 3 months since DDay. I will never know if the COW sent pics. He said no when asked way back when, but who knows, and I am not revisiting the details questions. I am severely codependent and have PTSD. He has made huge changes (obviously being a **** every now and again is not one of them) so these things are now on me, but that is a different post for a different forum.
> 
> ...


So what you're saying, in the nicest way possible, is that he's an a$$hole. But he can occasionally be a nice a$$hole.

If my woman did what you did for your husband, for me? I'd be all over her. We'd bang each other until we had speech impediments.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Bluesclues said:


> I honestly don’t even know what the **** just happened here. But I am in tears and could use a little outside insight.
> 
> I don’t wear lingerie. Don’t own any lingerie. Husband said he would love to see me in some lingerie. I told him it was hard to get lingerie to fit by bust size in something classy that we could afford.
> 
> ...



There have been a lot of similar comments....here's another....there's absolutely no reason for H to make any negative comments, certainly no smarta$$ remarks. I'd only make negative comments about H at this point, so I'll bite my tongue. 
For you - good for you, best wishes and strength to go in any direction you want.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Bluesclues said:


> I honestly don’t even know what the **** just happened here. But I am in tears and could use a little outside insight.
> 
> I don’t wear lingerie. Don’t own any lingerie. Husband said he would love to see me in some lingerie. I told him it was hard to get lingerie to fit by bust size in something classy that we could afford.
> 
> ...




- If my wife bought some sexy lingerie and sexted me a pic or two....I would be all over her!!!! (But she needs to lose a lot of weight first before doing that.)


- You did nothing wrong in my books.


- Your hubbs should of been turned on and very happily surprised.


- If you sexting him is a turn off, he should of mentioned that long ago.


- If he likes you to just surprise him, already wearing lingerie in the bedroom, he should of said something.


- It's called communication.


- Very odd reaction from him.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Agree with the others - you did nothing wrong. If my wife did what OP did, I'd be all over her. We went to a wedding a couple of months ago, and my wife looked good in her black dress and stockings. We got home and ended up having sex, and I told her as we were making out how turned on I was looking at her all evening. I wish she'd dress up more often instead of dressing like a slob.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Add me to the chorus of men who are bewildwered by your husband's reaction. In 22 years of marriage my wife has never put on anything special or tried to seduce me in any way. I would jump at it. The closest she came was when the fertility monitor told her that it was time to try conception. She called me in from shoveling snow to let me know it was time. I guess that was the only day I ever felt flattered or pursued by her. 

Your husband doesn't appreciate how good he's got it, especially considering that you gave him a second chance.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

* Tatsuhiko
She called me in from shoveling snow to let me know it was time.*

Something similar here Tat, only for me it was mowing grass. Best sex ever. I hit the long fly ball over the outfield fence and she loved it. That was in 1972. 

Bluesclues, I am happy you two worked out something. Me and sexy bedroom things, naked works better for me. I like skin to skin. I know some people like the flimsy nite wear.


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