# Other girls



## LostandNervous (Jul 13, 2010)

Ok, so I was recently married a few months ago and have been having weird urges (has increased dramatically especially since girls have been talking/hitting on me more and more). My wife is somewhat of a bigger girl (not too big though) and I dont mind it at all but she hates her body. It seems like I have recently been looking at other women more and especially once i see a hot girl all i can think about is how great is must be having sex with her. My wife is the type of girl that isn't into anything crazy with sex and likes just the basics and maybe doggy. I always have to initiate sex and "get her going" which makes me frustrated since she never just gets on me and starts doing something. I really am not sure what to do, I have a tendency to flirt with girls and even sometimes get them to where they want to have sex but never gone through with it. I just can't seem to get through to my wife that I need her to do more for me sexually and when i talk to her she just brushes it off.


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## LostandNervous (Jul 13, 2010)

Any advice would be helpful


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

Treat getting your wife into new and kinky stuff like a challenge/game. You didn't say "Hey, can you consider doing XXXX" in regular conversation when you were dating, so don't do it now. Turn her on, don't treat it like business.


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## Carron36 (Jun 2, 2010)

do you mind if I ask how old you are and how long you were with your wife before you got married? Before marriage, did you let on that you wanted a more interesting sex life? 
Sex changes after marriage, just like everything else in your relationship. You're going to be on the same page some of the time, but not always. It sounds like you weren't on the same page even before marriage so you shouldn't be too hard on her if you didn't express this as an issue before. 
The best thing to do this early in your marriage is to talk with her about what's on your mind and ask her to be open about her interest in sex, what her expectations are. Communication is key to the health of your relationship, the better you can make it from the get go, the better off you'll be as you travel this path together.


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## LostandNervous (Jul 13, 2010)

i am currently 21, she is 20 and same age when we married 5months ago, it was never an issue before hand but now i feel hornier and tend to think of other girls...i dont know why but i keep thinking of having sex with another girl and how good they look blah blah
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Carron36 (Jun 2, 2010)

the change is in you then and not her. You shouldn't try to talk her into changing her interest in sex just yet. First, you need to figure out why your feelings have changed and why your sex drive has changed. I'm twice your age and, based on experience, it would seem that now that you're married and not supposed to be with anyone else, psychologically it's more appealing to you. "you can look, but you can't touch..."


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## LostandNervous (Jul 13, 2010)

Carron36 said:


> the change is in you then and not her. You shouldn't try to talk her into changing her interest in sex just yet. First, you need to figure out why your feelings have changed and why your sex drive has changed. I'm twice your age and, based on experience, it would seem that now that you're married and not supposed to be with anyone else, psychologically it's more appealing to you. "you can look, but you can't touch..."


thats actually the first response that makes sense since i have been to another forum and no one really said much. Its hard to handle cause i truely wanna "touch" and know that if placed in that situation, the chances are high. I feel bad cause i dont want to hurt her but feel like i NEED to do this in order to be happy (i know i dont NEED to but rather want). Plus, since she is a somewhat bigger girl n complains of her weight alot (like most women lol) i try to get her to go work out but nvr wants to, but sits all day after work.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Carron36 (Jun 2, 2010)

you're young, be careful and be smart. Tell your wife as gently as possible what you're feeling and even what you think you're capable of (cheating) BEFORE you do anything with anyone else. At least give your marriage a fighting chance by being honest with her and you may get the change you want in your sex life at home. Going about it that way will be less painful for her and you (I know you can't see that right now) then if you cheat first and then deal with the ugly repercussions when you get caught. Women at almost any age are very intuitive and she will know when there is a change in you if you go through with an affair.


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