# This one is kind of out there...



## d_t_kim (Jan 5, 2010)

How do I approach my husband to tell him...
"I want wilder sex!" I know that this is crazy but there is no SPICE in the bedroom and has not been for quite sometime. I am not saying every single time but there are some occasions that I may like to be slung around and heated up! Okay so maybe this is a little blount but I warned ya!! Im just looking for some fun and I dont want me not being pleased sexually to create bigger problems in the future! He has always known that I was a very sexual person so this shouldnt come as a HUGE suprise but the past few year things just are not the way they used to be! Dont get me wrong now... Im down for a quickie every now and again but shesh!! I dont want him to think that Im just not into it but I dont want to hurt his feelings either!! Any advice??? I think that better sex creates grounds for a better marriage!!!


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I know exactly what you mean. I told my husband once and he gave me what I wanted, but he said my body didn't respond the way he's used too. I tried to tell him that it's because I'm not used to that style of loving and it takes a while for my body to catch up with my brain, but he just went back to same ol' same ol' because he said I really liked that better when I actually want both.

The other night I got him drunk and we tried again and it was OUT OF THIS WORLD good! He still said the same thing - that my body wasn't getting warmed up like it does with the old routine - but I persisted and asked him to give it time.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

d_t_kim said:


> How do I approach my husband to tell him...
> "I want wilder sex!" I know that this is crazy but there is no SPICE in the bedroom and has not been for quite sometime. I am not saying every single time but there are some occasions that I may like to be slung around and heated up! Okay so maybe this is a little blount but I warned ya!! Im just looking for some fun and I dont want me not being pleased sexually to create bigger problems in the future! He has always known that I was a very sexual person so this shouldnt come as a HUGE suprise but the past few year things just are not the way they used to be! Dont get me wrong now... Im down for a quickie every now and again but shesh!! I dont want him to think that Im just not into it but I dont want to hurt his feelings either!! Any advice??? I think that better sex creates grounds for a better marriage!!!


Will you marry me?!?!?! 

Find out what turns him on (all the things) and use them against him so to speak!
If he like risky places, set it up.
If he likes you a little ****ty, be ****ty.
If he has fantasies or particular porn he likes to watch, talk to him about that when your having sex.
Be naked and waiting when he gets home.
Lastly and yet most important tell him: "I want wilder sex!"


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## Mal74 (Dec 24, 2009)

In my experience some men really need to be taken by the hand and told exactly what to do. Just like some women do I am sure. Also I think some men don't really believe that their wives or long-term girlfriends are as sexual as we say we are, so we have to show them. So I think everybody who has posted so far has the right ideas. 

For my H and me one of the keys was to start talking about fantasies. I had to go first, and I found out why: he was afraid that if he told me what he was thinking, I would be grossed out. But once I shared some of mine with him, it made it easier for him to share some of his with me. 

There are some we are willing to explore in real life and others that are off-limits, but those ones are the ones we talk about most because they are the hottest. So that has helped us to explore more fun stuff too.

I think the bottom line is that if you want wilder sex, you have to lead the way toward wilder sex.


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## d_t_kim (Jan 5, 2010)

I try to just take the lead from time to time and we used to have really GOOD sex but now I just dont know what happened! We have been together way long enough for him to know turns me on and what doesnt! I feel like... DAMN how many times do I have to show you!! LOL


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Based on some other threads, could you maybe find a porn movie with the kind of thing you want to do, and watch it with him, and then say "Oh, let's do _that_!" when it gets to the part you really like?


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm personally the type where it's just tell me. I don't mind being flat out told 'Do This'.

Enthusiasm when I'm doing something right helps to. So that I'm not wondering if she's enjoying it or not. Some day I'd like me wife to just take me to the bedroom and go through an instructional session for how she likes certain things.


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

Star said:


> Ah that could be fun!


Certainly could be :smthumbup: 

Plus I don't mind trying things again and again until I get it just right!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I keep thinking about going out and buying a collection of erotica - short stories. Asking my wife to read a few and maybe use a highlighter and a bookmark to give me some ideas.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

When my wife explained to me that she liked me to be rough and dominant I was astonished and delighted. And I understood from day one that being rough is not the same as being selfish. I try to make sure that she gets to the finish line first and maybe last as well. 

If she had never explained this stuff to me - I just wouldn't have ever figured it out on my own. 

Great sex life is so key to a great marriage. 





d_t_kim said:


> How do I approach my husband to tell him...
> "I want wilder sex!" I know that this is crazy but there is no SPICE in the bedroom and has not been for quite sometime. I am not saying every single time but there are some occasions that I may like to be slung around and heated up! Okay so maybe this is a little blount but I warned ya!! Im just looking for some fun and I dont want me not being pleased sexually to create bigger problems in the future! He has always known that I was a very sexual person so this shouldnt come as a HUGE suprise but the past few year things just are not the way they used to be! Dont get me wrong now... Im down for a quickie every now and again but shesh!! I dont want him to think that Im just not into it but I dont want to hurt his feelings either!! Any advice??? I think that better sex creates grounds for a better marriage!!!


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## d_t_kim (Jan 5, 2010)

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## d_t_kim (Jan 5, 2010)

Thanks for all the advice!! Our 2 year is on the 28th so do u think that is when I should do it!?!? Or should I give a test run before then?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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