# I hurt my husband ego because of sport..



## isabelle49 (Apr 2, 2020)

Hello everybody,

So we start. I notice he kick hard. Even if it slow and Im able to block almost all of it he seems to kick vountary hard. I asked him to reduce the power twice... But he continu... I was winning 8 to 2 when he throw me a very hard kick on my breast. Even if i did block it it hurt so badly. I ve seen he laugh and it has get me really mad I confess. I send my leg as high and speed and strong as I could. He ddin't see it coming and my foot land right on his face! He fall on his back totally KO !!!
Im in panic. I slap him to wake him up (not sure it was a good idea). he finally wake up after maybe 10 very very long seconds... I help him to reach the sofa and bring him ice. I told him <i ll drive him to the emergency but he refuse I insist but he told me that with the coronavirus it would be silly to go there... I accept it he was right...
Obviously I did apologize for what i ve done and he answer me nothing. He change the subject. He almost not speaking anymore. I struggle having monologue and hearing yes, no...as simple answer... He seems mad but cant tell me. I asked him if it s because I beat him in taekwondo and he started to be agressive pretending it s not and anyway he wont come again in the club...He is so cold now...

Honestly, im very disappointed and I think I just hurt him..

How can I fix that??


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Don't they have weight classes in taekwondo?

I don't think it is a good idea to be in competition with your spouse. So, stop mentioning you 'beat' him.

With that said, your husband thought it was fine and dandy to give you a good, hard kick to the breast. That's sick. A kick to the head is mild compared to what he deserves. If he can't stand the heat, he needs to stay out of the kitchen.

Find something else to do together that doesn't involve a threat to his fragile ego. 

Let him sulk, pout or whatever. He suggested the activity. Don't apologize anymore.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Somehow, I don't think that taekwondo is a sport that I would want to participate in with a member of the opposite sex, and certainly not with my wife.
I would say that he certainly shouldn't have been as aggressive with you or busted you in the boobs. On the other hand, administering a TKO is certainly not a desired outcome either.
I'd say put that sport aside, take up cards or board games, try bowling or some kind of group activity. If all else fails, take that passion into the bedroom and pound the box springs.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm not impressed with your husband at all.

I'm glad you knocked his ass out.

You sure you want to stay with a man who intentionally hurts you even when you ask him to stop?

I wished you would have kicked him in the ding ding that hard.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Really what a baby. Lol wanted to play rough but got his butt kicked. You go to the gym and sign him up for a knitting class and cooking.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

isabelle49 said:


> How can I fix that??


Fix what - your childish bully husband's fragile ego?

It was all fun and laughs when he purposely kicked you extremely hard in the breast though, wasn't it? Yeah it was all fun and laughs when it was YOU taking the hit. But when the man-child got a taste of his own medicine he's now acting like the childish ass-hole he is.

*You* don't need to fix anything. That's on the baby you married.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

This really isn't your's to fix... he was taught a lesson he simply didn't care much for.

Has he ever showed this side before?

You said he is military, is he a young soldier?

Young soldiers can be quite full of themselves, piss and vinegar without balance... that (balance) comes later with experience.

He has learned a different respect for you... I believes he still owes you and apology, not the other way around but be compassionate as it is done and can be let go although I would advise you not spar with another from here on as I would question his temperament toward how he is willing to win and what he is willing to do to get there (strike you hard enough to hurt).

The simple phrase is "poor loser", but unless it becomes a habit (being mean) I'd not worry about his ego.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Martial artist here.
Not your fault. Not your problem.
Part of the journey of a martial artist is to have your ego dismantled, restructured, and put back together again.
You're helping him on this journey and he needs to learn this lesson.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

When I was on the wrestling team, I could practice or spar with anyone on the team _except_ my brother. When it was my brother, it wasn't wrestling it was a brawl. I don't know if that would be the case with a spouse or girlfriend but I wouldn't want to test it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I don’t see a problem. He got what he deserved.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

I'd leave him alone for a while to lick his wounds and when he comes to you for a rematch tell him no, your marriage won't survive it. It's not fair to ask to spar with you and then get mad at you that you're better at it. He's acting like a child so just leave him alone. Eventually he'll come out of his funk. Stop mentioning it and just talk about normal things with him. If he doesn't answer stop initiating conversations with him altogether. Eventually he'll get lonely and reach back out to you.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

He had a bad attitude when he was winning, and a bad attitude when he lost, so don't ever fight him again.

As others said, don't apologize, he asked for this. Let him work through the lesson.

Also, lots of people whose first language is English are harder to read than you are.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

You have been given excellent advice. You should know that sometimes a significant injury to the female breast results in a location that is prone to have cysts and even tumors in later life. Be sure you get regular check-ups.

His immaturity is appalling. Could he have been wanting to punish you because you did not play tennis? Perhaps he knew he was more skilled than you and would have WON because of that. For most people, it is no fun to play with a competitor who is way below your skill in any sport. BTW: You as a dancer would have had the advantage in salsa--no fun for him.

If that is your real picture as the avatar, you may wish to change it if confidentiality is important.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Sounds like he was being a bully, I'm glad you served him a dose of whoop ass. I would advise you to examine other aspects of your relationship/marriage to him. He knew he was hurting you and wouldn't stop, that kind of passive agressive behavior shows a serious lack of respect and maturity.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm very disturbed by a man that wants to hurt his woman to begin with and then doesn't stop hurting her when she asks him to stop.

This situation is encased in a sparring session and I've been in martial arts since almost before I can remember but they weren't sparring. He was trying to, and succeeding at, hurting his lady. This wasn't a sparring match. This was an assault especially after she asked him to stop hurting her.


He continued to assault her and forced her to defend herself.
I think you should leave this loser OP.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

I think you kicking his ass is awesome. I also think you should quit martial arts and take up tennis. Then kick his ass at that. If his attitude continues to worsen you should really consider moving on and finding someone who is closer to your maturity level.


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

Isabelle49, I think I saw this, or similar one on another forum. I believe that your H feels he has lost his masculinity because you beat him. And those muscular ballet legs aren't going to help bc
you might not be aware of your own lower body strength. My wife could beat me in breast stroke bc of body type. I beat her in freestyle and backstroke, and she couldn't do butterfly. Be aware! There is still the notion that any male who is masculine should be able to beat a female. Some guys even seem to hold those ideas without knowing it. Others on this forum will ridicule him, but I don't think that demeaning him will help your marriage. Moreover, there may be some underlying medical problem that hinders him. Tell him that the world's strongest man can't do balance beam, but tiny girls can do so.


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

No one is adept at everything,no matter the gender. His mistake was believing he could beat you simply because you're a female. He could use a little humility. Whether or not he learns from it is another matter.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

TBT said:


> No one is adept at everything,no matter the gender. His mistake was believing he could beat you simply because you're a female. He could use a little humility. Whether or not he learns from it is another matter.


 No, his mistake was not easing up when she asked him to. He set the limits by kicking her hard (in the breast no less) and she replied in kind. No harm, no foul. He has absolutely no right to be pissed about it.

@isabelle49 The best thing you can do is nothing. Don't bring it up, don't act guilty or sorry, just go on about your life exactly as you did before. He should get over it in a short while. If he doesn't and continue to be a little ***** it's time for you to be rid of him.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Don’t lower yourself to make him feel good. You accidentally hurt him, you apologized and you meant jt. That’s all you can do. Time will make things better.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Completely knocked out? 

He may need treatment for traumatic brain injury... 

Don't spar with him anymore. My wife and daughter both do taekwondo. Chung do Kwan. I spar with my wife a lot, but neither of us try to actually make the other hurt. ..


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Maybe the both of you two shouldn't be competing to kick the **** out of each other. I mean duh.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

sokillme said:


> Maybe the both of you two shouldn't be competing to kick the **** out of each other. I mean duh.


Sorry short T/J
In dark mode your one serious shadowy dude, at least in you avatar.


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## isabelle49 (Apr 2, 2020)

Hello there and thx for ur answers,

Well he has always been macho but it s the first time he was so immature. He s 27

I know I did act bad too. I loose my temper and should have stop the match after I told him to reduce strength and Hé didnt.
For the bet I didnt ask him to do my house work because of the KO I wanted him to stay calm...

But this morning I was tired of the situation so I did wait him Hé finish his shower and enter in the bathroom to force à talk. The other days when i tried to talk he just leave the room, now he can't we have a too little bathroom.
I asked him what happened ? Why Hé didnt listen when I told to reduce power? Hé answer that Hé didn't exept me to be able to move and kick with these speed.. Come on babe I was à ballerina kicking was my daily routine and Hé was à bit frustrated I was winning with the score.. And finally Hé apologize (sort of...) for his behaviour... 
He looked like sad and embarass...so to stop drama i tried to make him laugh by teasing him a bit."it s ok soldier if one day invaders come you ll use gun i ll use my feet we are complementary!! It s ok to have a kick ass wife there is biggest problem in my life!!you know what im sure rhat even donald trump could be ko by his wife and look at him he s the president of the world!!
I finally got a laugh foe him so i let him go

Then I told him that mop won't pass itself


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@isabelle49 you did nothing wrong*. *Your husband was at fault, not you.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

isabelle49 said:


> Why Hé didnt listen when I told to reduce power? Hé answer that Hé didn't exept me to be able to move and kick with these speed..


That was a non-answer. It actually illustrates he intended to hurt you. He is not a good husband. Please keep an eye on your breast for any lumps.


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