# What would she have to do ???



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Hi guys,

I was wondering what your ex would have to do to win your love back ???

Be around a lot and nice, sweet and fun....or make herself scarce and nice and sweet ???

I am still very much in love with my husband and would nothing more than win his love back....

I will be moving out eventually, but still have access to the house whenever I need/want to (his words) like get stuff for the kids, use the pool etc .....

Now I'm wondering what is more desirable...being friendly but distant or just like best friends ???

What is more sexy to men ???

I'm already working on my appearance and think by the summer I'll be hot again in a bikini :smthumbup: ....

Any advice ???


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## misspuppy (Sep 19, 2010)

IMHO i would def try to stay low and do your own thing.. try not to make yourself desperate to him, yes you can still love him and think about him, but, lay low. 

things that are attractive to men vary some like to be pursued, some like the be yourself kind.. 

But in your situation, i would def lay low. i have read a few of your posts and it sounds like he def needs time to work things out on his own, no help from you. leave him be, do your own thing and let things happen. dont rush things. Dont worry so much about what HE wants and what HE is doing. Now is the time to focus on YOU and what YOU want, i know you want to win your husband back, but, do it because it will be good for BOTH parties, not for your own needs. i know that sounds contradicting, but trust me, you will get it over time. 

Let him be for now. it is best. actions speak louder than words. the more you do for YOURSELF the more he will start to notice, do not do things to please him, it will never work, do things to show him you are changing for YOU !! that is what most men find attractive in a woman, dependent on themselves, not pushy, not clingy.

I know that you need to:
Stop calling/texting emailing him
Stop trying to win him back, let him come back on his own


good luck in whatever you try to do


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

What you are saying sounds good, but I am worried that he would be talking it as -oh, she's dealing with it better than I thought, good for me-.....

It's so hard...

I'll definitely need to stop saying I love you....I've done this too much lately when he's left for work....

I don't call him or text him at all....so I'm good about that...the other stuff I'd have to work hard on  

Thanks misspuppy !!!


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## Xander (Oct 20, 2010)

It's impossible to answer this question without a better understanding of why you two are separating in the first place. 

The most universal advice, however, is to withdraw into your own world and improve yourself. You're going to have to get your mind and emotions to a place where he is not your motivation / reason for being.

Definitely get in shape and look good in a bikini. 

Get some intellectual (I don't mean smart/snobby intellectual necessarily) hobbies that you can talk about. Go out with people. Re-develop your skills as a conversationalist -- even (especially) if you're a natural introvert.

Here's why: 

Someone who is determined not to see you anymore is way beyond apathy for you. Somehow your presence is repulsive to him. This repulsion is as much about his emotions as it is about anything you can do to "fix" the problem.

So you're going to have to re-build from the ground up. You're going to have to become someone he is interested in pursuing. You'll probably have to start dating again. 

To put it another way: the only way to "re-discover" something is to look at it in a new light. So you're going to have to become a little bit new for him to be enticed in the first place.

Oh: And seriously, make sure you look good in that bikini.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Have you been to counseling?


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