# Women and the FWB trap



## badcompany

I'm getting a fair amount of conversation and a few first dates with women on a dating site, mostly divorced or pending like I am, and I'm finding a lot of them that have any sex drive have gone for "FWB's" while in that separation/recovery period. This is a big turn off for me, question is should it be? Do these women have it in them to be faithful?


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## vi_bride04

badcompany said:


> I'm getting a fair amount of conversation and a few first dates with women on a dating site, mostly divorced or pending like I am, and I'm finding a lot of them that have any sex drive have gone for "FWB's" while in that separation/recovery period. This is a big turn off for me, question is should it be? Do these women have it in them to be faithful?


OMG. I'm actually having this conversation with a friend right now.

How is it, that men who go out and live it up and date and sleep with whoever can still be considered "quality" but a woman who goes out and enjoys sex and wants FWB status is less quality than the women who don't? Maybe I'm misunderstanding the post. 

I'm having conflict in my own life b/c I am ready to get plowed, but I'm not ready to emotionally invest into someone. If I have a few FWB along the way, and finally meet someone who I want to get involved with, am I losing out on that b/c I decided to have some physical pleasure in my life when I was single? Am I now a "less quality" of a woman b/c I knew what I was and wasn't ready for? 

I really don't like societies double standard on this.


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## badcompany

Vi_bride, I totally understand your situation and the whole double standard thing. The thing is, I'm NOT one of those guys you speak of. It's been me and rosy palm(blush) for many months now and I need to be emotionally invested to have sex with someone. 
The admission of FWB's has come up in 2 of the 3 women I've considered moving forward with. I'm HD and I'm more than ready to do some plowing lol, but if it's going to lead right back to more cheating I'd rather pass and have yet another disqualifier in screening my next potential partner. Is this a valid concern or should I let this go?


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## RandomDude

It's already a valid concern for YOU; As they simply have a different value set than you as an individual

Stop worrying about what people think about your own turn-offs, if women who get involved with FWBs turn you off then so be it. Leave them for men like I was back in my youth


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## COGypsy

I don't understand what having or being a FWB has to do with cheating?


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## badcompany

That's the thing, I'm on the fence. It tells me that they are obviously HD, that is good. The current "correspondee" said she had one and at first felt free but then felt used and ended it. 
An earlier date(40) admitted she had a 26yo FWB that was still going on.....wtf?.....check please


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## Jellybeans

badcompany said:


> That's the thing, I'm on the fence. It tells me that they are obviously HD, that is good. The current "correspondee" said she had one and at first felt free but then felt used and ended it.
> *An earlier date(40) admitted she had a 26yo FWB that was still going on.....wtf?.....check please:*(


Uh , yeah. And she thought you'd want to go out with her again. I would have run, too! 

Nonetheless, can you really throw shade at women on these dating sites when you yourself are still married? Things that make you go hmmmm...


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## badcompany

^^ Ouch. Then again though, I'm finding many women in a similar timeline. The current one is almost identical and D pending as well. Her H was military and slept with 4 other women and one of her friends behind her back. I'm being up front with them about my pending situation some run the other way but many understand.


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## RandomDude

If they turn you off then let them go, focus on the 33% who are more your type, but if you're getting desperate then well... meh


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## Jellybeans

badcompany said:


> ^^ Ouch. Then again though, I'm finding many women in a similar timeline. The current one is almost identical and D pending as well. Her H was military and slept with 4 other women and one of her friends behind her back. I'm being up front with them about my pending situation some run the other way but many understand.


Well the good thing is you are all open and honest. My advice is that if you aren't into someone who Is into FWB's, then just axe them and go onto the next date. Dating is to weed out who is a good fit for you or not. Keep on with the keep on


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## vi_bride04

So what about women who only have one FWB at a time? Do you put them in the same category as someone who would cheat?

I agree with Random, if that is one of your "requirements" for a dating partner, then ditch all the women you meet who are in the FWB category.

I think its a disaster waiting to happen for you to completely jump into a relationship after what you have been going through. I know you have been lonely and horny for awhile, but immediately looking for someone to have a relationship with can bring all sorts of issues with your recovery. 

Maybe a FWB would be good for you? Don't knock it till you try it! lol


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## badcompany

RandomDude said:


> If they turn you off then let them go, focus on the 33% who are more your type, but if you're getting desperate then well... meh


It's turning out to be more like 1% haha, no picnic up here.
No I'm not desperate, first contact ended up being an FWB offer and I turned it down. I just got a "want to meet" request from a gal that looks right out of women's prison, scary.


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## Pbartender

vi_bride04 said:


> I'm having conflict in my own life b/c I am ready to get plowed, but I'm not ready to emotionally invest into someone. If I have a few FWB along the way, and finally meet someone who I want to get involved with, am I losing out on that b/c I decided to have some physical pleasure in my life when I was single? Am I now a "less quality" of a woman b/c I knew what I was and wasn't ready for?


Oddly enough, I'm in a similar situation...

For the moment, I'm simply not interested in a relationship that's any more involved than something along the lines of BFWB. Unfortunately, most of the women I've met are looking for something far more committed than that... marriage, kids, moving in together, etc ...and that sort of stuff isn't even on the radar for me.

Perhaps I should plan a vacation in Michigan.


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## vi_bride04

Pbartender said:


> Perhaps I should plan a vacation in Michigan.


Hey I've never been to the windy city and have always wanted to go  I love to travel!

(end thread jack)


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## angelpixie

I also don't get the assumption that FWB means cheating. It's totally possible to have an exclusive FWB relationship. That might be something you should ask. If the person had a previous FWB, what are you worried about? She's unattached at the moment while she's going out with you. If she currently has one, maybe she's not necessarily going to have sex with you until she ends the FWB relationship.

I think the problem here is one of assumptions. It would be just as wrong for a woman to assume that you would cheat because you are dating and not yet divorced.


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## badcompany

vi_bride04 said:


> So what about women who only have one FWB at a time? Do you put them in the same category as someone who would cheat?
> 
> I agree with Random, if that is one of your "requirements" for a dating partner, then ditch all the women you meet who are in the FWB category.
> 
> I think its a disaster waiting to happen for you to completely jump into a relationship after what you have been going through. I know you have been lonely and horny for awhile, but immediately looking for someone to have a relationship with can bring all sorts of issues with your recovery.
> 
> Maybe a FWB would be good for you? Don't knock it till you try it! lol


Obviously the women with the ongoing FWB was a big "NO".
The current one I'm chatting up had a 3 month relationship she called an FWB and ended it because he didn't want anything more.....so with her I'm thinking to let it slide. I know I've been close a couple times but I didn't want to get put into that "guy that bones everything category" either.


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## angelpixie

Pbartender said:


> Perhaps I should plan a vacation in Michigan.





vi_bride04 said:


> Hey I've never been to the windy city and have always wanted to go  I love to travel!
> 
> (end thread jack)



Hey, you two, get a room, er uh, thread!!  :rofl:


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## Jellybeans

Pbar and ViBride sitting in a tree...

LOL

A TAM tree


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## thunderstruck

badcompany said:


> An earlier date(40) admitted she had a 26yo FWB that was still going on.....wtf?.....check please


:slap: "Waiter, check please, and...do you have any hand sanitizer I could borrow?"


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## vi_bride04

angelpixie said:


> I think the problem here is one of assumptions. *It would be just as wrong for a woman to assume that you would cheat because you are dating and not yet divorced*.


:iagree:

That would be a bigger red flag for me than a guy who engaged in FWB situations.

And just b/c you engage in a FWB situation, it does not mean you are going to be "one of those guys that plows everything". 

There are respectful and adult ways to do the whole FWB thing. Adults like sex and should be able to discuss such matters as to what the nature of the relationship would be. If you don't agree with sleeping with other people while sleeping with each other, put that rule there. If you want just sex and nothing else, state it. If you want sex AND and activity partner, say it. If you want activity partner and sex but no staying overnight or other more "intimate" things, its ok. 

The trick is finding someone who is compatible with the type of relationship you want for yourself. 

I still think you are putting too much emphasis on finding a relationship though....


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## badcompany

I guess I'm not communicating this very well. One side of me thinks that if I step down into the FWB realm I may miss out on a good woman that would look down upon that. Another side of me thinks, that approaching 40 we've all been "down the road" and finding a low mileage 1970's model with HD is a pipe dream so fvck it.... 

Angel where is the land of dairy queen btw?


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## Jellybeans

I had a FWB in college. It was lovely.


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## Pbartender

badcompany said:


> I guess I'm not communicating this very well. One side of me thinks that if I step down into the FWB realm I may miss out on a good woman that would look down upon that.


I think you're establishing a false dichotomy, here.


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## RandomDude

> Another side of me thinks, that approaching 40 we've all been "down the road" and finding a low mileage 1970's model with HD is a pipe dream so fvck it....


So in other words, you're wondering whether to settle/lower your standards yes?

Actually I do remember meeting a woman earlier this year who was near 40 and had rather low mileage throughout her life, and she looked as if she was in her 20s. Another woman back in my youth that I've met who was my dad's squeeze at that time was 40 but also looked like she was in her 20s, also due to low mileage.

The former was simply picky, the latter was a doctor hence had no time for committed relationships. So they are out there mate


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## vi_bride04

If a "good woman" cannot accept you for who you are and where you came from, then she is not right for you. 

Don't focus on good vs bad. Everyone has good. Everyone has bad. Focus on the red flags, behavior, character, morals....

I have my bad decisions from my past. I have scars. But I have learned. I am a WS and OW. Does that mean I don't deserve a good, quality guy b/c I was a POS years ago? I can tell you right now I would never go down the infidelity road again. Whether I have multiple FWB or no FWB....

Anyone can cheat. Anyone. You just have to look for the behavior that may indicate someone may be capable of it. If you feel that someone with multiple FWB at the same time is indicative of cheating, then by all means cut them from your dating pool. But I wouldn't be so quick to judge women who can be respectful, honest and have rules while engaging in FWB situations.


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## bravenewworld

angelpixie said:


> I also don't get the assumption that FWB means cheating. It's totally possible to have an exclusive FWB relationship. That might be something you should ask. If the person had a previous FWB, what are you worried about? She's unattached at the moment while she's going out with you. If she currently has one, maybe she's not necessarily going to have sex with you until she ends the FWB relationship.
> 
> I think the problem here is one of assumptions. It would be just as wrong for a woman to assume that you would cheat because you are dating and not yet divorced.


Totally agree with Pixie - it's almost as though you're equating a person enjoying a FWB situation with having poor character. Honestly, although I don't think that 40 year old should have been crass enough to give you such detailed information about who she's boinking - there's nothing dirty, weird, or wrong about it. I might feel insecure if someone I was interested in attracted someone much younger, but I wouldn't be disgusted unless they were seriously jailbait. 

One myth I'd like to dispel about FWB situations is there is no emotional connection. My situation is really nice - we're friends, we respect each other, go to dinner, the movies, cuddle, send silly texts, and have passionate/affectionate sex. The only part we leave out is the monogamy. Actually, there's less of a time commitment as well since we only see each other 1-2x per week. For me, it's perfect. 

And yes, I can and one day will be 100% faithful once I find my place in the world, establish what I want in a partner, and find a person who is supportive of me being my best self. I just don't want to give up affection and sex while I'm on my journey!


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## badcompany

I'm trying to figure out if my standards are old fashioned by todays standards and are going to inhibit meeting the HD partner I want.
See my stbxw was my 2nd and I was her first, but moving forward I always wanted more of a slvt in the bedroom, too bad she had to get such an attitude and give it to someone else. 
I'm concerned that low mileage could also mean LD which I'm not interested in going there again.


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## badcompany

Pbartender said:


> I think you're establishing a false dichotomy, here.


I'm leaning that way too PB. The low mile convertible you find in the barn always ends up being the I-6 and 3 on the tree.


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## badcompany

bravenewworld said:


> Totally agree with Pixie - it's almost as though you're equating a person enjoying a FWB situation with having poor character. Honestly, although I don't think that 40 year old should have been crass enough to give you such detailed information about who she's boinking - there's nothing dirty, weird, or wrong about it. I might feel insecure if someone I was interested in attracted someone much younger, but I wouldn't be disgusted unless they were seriously jailbait.
> 
> One myth I'd like to dispel about FWB situations is there is no emotional connection. My situation is really nice - we're friends, we respect each other, go to dinner, the movies, cuddle, send silly texts, and have passionate/affectionate sex. The only part we leave out is the monogamy. Actually, there's less of a time commitment as well since we only see each other 1-2x per week. For me, it's perfect.
> 
> And yes, I can and one day will be 100% faithful once I find my place in the world, establish what I want in a partner, and find a person who is supportive of me being my best self. I just don't want to give up affection and sex while I'm on my journey!


Thank you, your women's point of view really helps here that is what I'm curious about.


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## vi_bride04

Hmmm, so what other than HD/LD are you looking for in a partner? B/c from what you seem to be describing, it sounds like you could do a FWB pretty ok. I don't see alot of other content about what you want in a woman other than their drive.


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## vi_bride04

bravenewworld said:


> And yes, I can and one day will be 100% faithful once I find my place in the world, establish what I want in a partner, and find a person who is supportive of me being my best self. I just don't want to give up affection and sex while I'm on my journey!


I think this is a great explanation!


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## ScarletBegonias

I had a jolly time doing the FWB stuff after my divorce.It had no bearing on my ability to be faithful.I say grab a woman who enjoys sex and physical contact enough to consider a FWB situation and keep her in your life.you never know,you might be right for each other


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## badcompany

Actually quite a bit, but nothing too odd. See my ex had a real problem that anything that didn't interest her was stupid and so was that person if they kept doing it. Fun things like boating, fishing, go karts, shooting stuff in a gravel pit, etc. I'm not against doing "her" things too of course but in my M that was neer reciprocated. I get a lot of "huh?-that sounds like fun" when I tell people about this. 
Probably activity partner, someone who likes to be cooked for on occasion, so yeah maybe....as much as I hate to admit it.


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## Jellybeans

bravenewworld said:


> One myth I'd like to dispel about FWB situations is there is no emotional connection. My situation is really nice - we're friends, we respect each other, go to dinner, the movies, cuddle, send silly texts, and have passionate/affectionate sex. The only part we leave out is the monogamy.


I was with you all the way until the last sentence. LOL.

My FWB in college, we only made out when we were single. Once we both got into relationships, our FWB stopped. So we were monogamous FWB. Lol. Also, we never slept together, like actual sex, but we did a lot of making out. Funny but I know I wouldn't have been ok with him FWB'ing with anyone else. 



badcompany said:


> I'm trying to figure out if my standards are old fashioned by todays standards and are going to inhibit meeting the HD partner I want.


There are plenty of people who think as you do. It's not an old-fashioned or modern thing, it's a you thing. Do you. If you like something, then go for it. If you don't like something and it doesn't fit in your values, don't go for it.

Don't beat yourself up just cause you aren't into it.


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## bravenewworld

Jellybeans said:


> I was with you all the way until the last sentence. LOL.
> 
> My FWB in college, we only made out when we were single. Once we both got into relationships, our FWB stopped. So we were monogamous FWB. Lol. Also, we never slept together, like actual sex, but we did a lot of making out. Funny but I know I wouldn't have been ok with him FWB'ing with anyone else.
> 
> 
> 
> There are plenty of people who think as you do. It's not an old-fashioned or modern thing, it's a you thing. Do you. If you like something, then go for it. If you don't like something and it doesn't fit in your values, don't go for it.
> 
> Don't beat yourself up just cause you aren't into it.


You really made me think Jellybeans, always a good thing! My FWB is currently the only person I'm sexually intimate with, but I have gone on dates with other guys. 

It's a bit of a dance - we've agreed we can see/sleep with other people as long as it's always protected sex. Also - we like to focus on each other's company and not talk about other people. I'm more open than I used to be - but not THAT open. 

But I totally agree - it's not for everyone. I'm trying the situation out and so far am enjoying it. He's very respectful regarding my feelings and that's one of the reason I chose to be involved with him in this way. Could be a really weird/aggravating situation with the wrong person.


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## Jellybeans

bravenewworld said:


> You really made me think Jellybeans, always a good thing! My FWB is currently the only person I'm sexually intimate with, but I have gone on dates with other guys.
> 
> It's a bit of a dance - we've agreed we can see/sleep with other people as long as it's always protected sex. Also - we like to focus on each other's company and not talk about other people. I'm more open than I used to be - but not THAT open.
> 
> But I totally agree - it's not for everyone. I'm trying the situation out and so far am enjoying it. He's very respectful regarding my feelings and that's one of the reason I chose to be involved with him in this way. Could be a really weird/aggravating situation with the wrong person.


Well as long as you guys are on the same page, then it's all good. And you've had that discussion.

Me, I wouldn't want to sleep with a guy who is sleeping with other people. Maybe if we were both multi-dating... but I am not into that either. I suppose I am a traditionilist. Dammit. :rofl:


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## badcompany

Jellybeans said:


> I suppose I am a traditionilist. Dammit. :rofl:


I'm with you JB.


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## PieceOfSky

BC,

Your concern was maybe there is some reason a person who is or has been in a FWB situation is more likely to cheat on someone, if I understand you correctly.

Keep in mind these two or three told you the situation up front. That sounds encouraging -- an intent to be transparent and honest.

It is possible to like sex very much and unashamedly so yet only be interested in monogamy, even viscerally opposed to dishonesty with anyone especially a partner.

I think FWB is too vague a term. I would want to ask the how and whys of the others particular FWB situation, and what intent (and track-record) when a potential relationship comes along. I would also ask about views on infidelity, and temptations, both personally experienced and encountered by friends and family, and see how those questions are handled.

Btw, I envy the friends of some of the posters here. Just sayin'


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## angelpixie

This, just like the 'multi-dating' discussion in the other thread, is a really good example of why communication is so important. There are so many subtle differences in definitions for us all. What constitutes a FWB relationship for one person might sound more like a NSA sexual relationship to another. For one person, a FWB might just be someone to 'let steam off' with while in-between long-term monogamous relationships, or it might be the only type of relationship another person can see in his/her future. Some people see FWB as exclusive, others don't. Etc., etc.

You really don't know unless you ask the questions. And the first person you need to ask is yourself: What are your _own_ definitions of these terms? What are you looking for in a relationship at this moment? What are you looking for in the future? What are things you have to have, what are things you're on the fence about, and what are deal breakers? 

THEN, once you have your own answers, ask questions of the person you're considering a relationship with, to find out not only what their experiences have been, but how they feel _now_, and what they are looking for. Like Vi said, a lot of us have things in our past that may not reflect who we are now, and it's unfair to hinge a relationship upon them.


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## Jellybeans

badcompany said:


> I'm with you JB.


I only said "Dammit" after I typed that because I had a quick realization in that moment, while typing, that it was true for me... The "dammit" was in response to the fact I had to accept that while I fashion myself a "modern woman" I simply am really traditional in some senses.

A bit like finding out something about yourself that you wish weren't true. Reconciling truths/reality. Haha.

:rofl:


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## angelpixie

badcompany said:


> I'm concerned that low mileage could also mean LD which I'm not interested in going there again.



Again, that's an assumption. I'm very low mileage for my age, for example, but there are reasons in my life that have absolutely nothing to do with LD/HD. And there are reasons why I continue to be low mileage, which also have nothing to do with being LD/HD.


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## bravenewworld

BC - Also consider the fact some of us multi-dating are ethical, kind people who have codependency issues we are working through. My therapist literally recommended I go out and try dating more than one person at a time. She was totally right btw. Codependency was a huge issue in my marriage and it's been very healthy for me to enjoy the company of other's without becoming overly involved with one person. 

FWB is one of those situations I never thought I'd find myself in. Up until I found out my ex was cheating, I thought I was on the road to happily ever after. But with that particular relationship, happy ever after was unfortunately a fairy tale. Which shook me to my core. 

Right now the primary relationship I'm working on is with myself. There's just not room in my life to put aside my own needs for someone else. I think a lot of us did that in our marriage. Reading posts on TAM and getting awesome advice made me realize it's ok to move forward how I see fit as long as I'm honest with myself and others. 

For those either not ready for commitment and/or rebuilding their lives while tentatively exploring the dating pool I just want to say that you can still have meaningful relationships without being monogamous. Last weekend my FWB and I went out to dinner, climbed on the roof to watch the sunset, then had 24 hours of amazing sex interrupted only by an occasional movie/nap break. Very healing and so much fun! 

But - I don't have to do his laundry, go to his great aunt's birthday party, or drive him to the airport. For me - a breath of fresh air!

There is life after divorce. It's definitely not the life we thought we'd lead. Sometimes, it's even better.


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## angelpixie

badcompany said:


> Angel where is the land of dairy queen btw?


LOL, nowhere in particular. I just have a little deal where I try to find phrases that include "land of..." for my location. Previously, I used phrases that included "state of...". But, if you've heard the jingle, 'In the land of Dairy Queen, we treat you right.'


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## PieceOfSky

Land of DQ is in the Berkshire Hathaway's. I've heard that's just a little northwest of Big Rock Candy Mountain. The cones are dipped in chocolate, and on Sundaes they've whipped cream. The mayor they call him Buffett. And life is but a dream.

// This silly pun/riddle brought to you by only three hours of sleep. Please forgive me


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## PieceOfSky

bravenewworld said:


> BC - Also consider the fact some of us multi-dating are ethical, kind people who have codependency issues we are working through. *My therapist literally recommended I go out and try dating more than one person at a time. *She was totally right btw. Codependency was a huge issue in my marriage and it's been very healthy for me to enjoy the company of other's without becoming overly involved with one person.


Interesting. I've told myself if I had to do it all over again I would try something like that (above board of course). I took it all too seriously way too soon. Broader experience might have given me a healthier perspective on life and dating and loving. I hope to encourage my girls to approach it all in ways that will feel less dramatic and overwhelming. Somehow. TBD.


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## NoWhere

Who says you have to be friends to get benefits.


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## ScarletBegonias

NoWhere said:


> Who says you have to be friends to get benefits.


oh that is naughty!! :smthumbup:


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## Shoto1984

This has been so educational. It sounds like FWB is what we used to call in the "old days" a boyfriend or a girlfriend. That was a person you liked enough to hang out with....be affectionate with...probably have sex with and (while it probably wasn't talked about) everyone knew it wasn't going to turn into a marriage with kids and white picket fence.


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## angelpixie

Shoto1984 said:


> This has been so educational. It sounds like FWB is what we used to call in the "old days" a boyfriend or a girlfriend. That was a person you liked enough to hang out with....be affectionate with...*probably have sex with and (while it probably wasn't talked about*) everyone knew it wasn't going to turn into a marriage with kids and white picket fence.


That's the key, I think -- everybody is talking about it now.


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## ne9907

I really hate the term "friends with benefits"...


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## larry.gray

ne9907 said:


> I really hate the term "friends with benefits"...


Do you prefer fück buddy instead?


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## ne9907

larry.gray said:


> Do you prefer fück buddy instead?


yes. No implication that they are "friends"....


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## stillhoping

I think I have one now, FWB. He is a guy I dated in college, came into my life after 30 years, just as I was divorcing, and we started dating. I said yes to sex (only my second partner ever). It was good, even great, but the relationship was never gonna be a forever one. We have too many differences, but I enjoy his company, he likes mine and I am not giving up on other opportunities to date and neither is he, just agreed that it won't be at the same time. I never thought I could do this, but it is nice to have companionship, someone to hold, care about. He was a great way to get back into the dating and sex world again. I would love it if he was the one, or if someone else would come along, but in the meantime, no one is being hurt.


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## angelpixie

Why can't they be friends? I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who _wasn't_ my friend.


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## ne9907

angelpixie said:


> Why can't they be friends? I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who _wasn't_ my friend.


it is part of my baggage... I just hate that term!!!!!!!!

it has to do with ex, and one of his ex gf and too much drama
I am having a bad day and in a bad funk... All because it is snowing hard in OK and I miss it. I hate this stupid warm, sunny weather!
Good thing today is almost over.


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## angelpixie

Sorry, ne.  It sucks when things make you trigger. ((hugs))


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## angelpixie

Sorry, 2GM, but I disagree on this one. Those are things I will manage on my own. I'm done depending on a 'partner' for those things (even though, in my marriage, I provided the insurance for all of us through my job). I would rather look out for those things myself. I don't expect someone to "pay" benefits to be with me. That seems a little too much like another unsavory type of relationship. 

The 'benefits' are simply the kinds of things one can't have on one's own: friendship, companionship, someone to share activities and interests with, and yes, an intimate partner. 

The rest, I'd rather handle on my own.


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## Pbartender

2galsmom said:


> I think I would like the term if the "benefits" were full medical insurance, dental with options for orthodontia as well as a Costco Executive Membership and h*ll for foreplay throw in a vision plan for fun.


Get a job at Costco, then you'll have lots of friends with benefits...


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## Shoto1984

So isn't the line between liking this concept or not determined by your view of casual sex. If you're good with you and others having casual sex just for the sake of the sex then it works. If you think sex should have an emotional component that is, at least, reserved for one person at a time then it doesn't. In reading between lines on a lot of the posts here that's what I'm coming up with.


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## angelpixie

Pbartender said:


> Get a job at Costco, then you'll have lots of friends with benefits...


And good ones, too, from what I've heard. They won't have to work on Thanksgiving, at least. :smthumbup:


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## SepticChange

Different strokes for different folks. I now have a FWB who is going through the same thing. At first we both felt cheap but it happens....everyone has different standards. Don't feel bad for what you want...unless it's unreasonable.


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## howardmyduck

vi_bride04 said:


> OMG. I'm actually having this conversation with a friend right now.
> 
> How is it, that men who go out and live it up and date and sleep with whoever can still be considered "quality" but a woman who goes out and enjoys sex and wants FWB status is less quality than the women who don't? Maybe I'm misunderstanding the post.
> 
> I'm having conflict in my own life b/c I am ready to get plowed, but I'm not ready to emotionally invest into someone. If I have a few FWB along the way, and finally meet someone who I want to get involved with, am I losing out on that b/c I decided to have some physical pleasure in my life when I was single? Am I now a "less quality" of a woman b/c I knew what I was and wasn't ready for?
> 
> I really don't like societies double standard on this.


Personally, it's an outdated double standard. Some guys just want that fwb kind of girl and a girl next door. I feel bad for all women that have to put up with us
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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