# Napkin advice - what's yours?



## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

Earlier this summer I was at the wedding of a friend's daughter. Midway between the reception the bride and groom asked everyone to write down a piece of advice for them on some small napkins that had been handed out. 

I remember feeling caught off guard, partly because I tend to be wordy (!) and the napkins were small, and partly because the ushers came around to collect those napkins pretty quickly. I had to think fast and I'm still not sure I came up with the best thing. I didn't want to write anything predictable like "Don't go to bed angry," but I'm still not sure I came up with anything great. I think it was something like, 

_"You're a team now, so pick a team name. A team costume and team handshake wouldn't hurt either." _

But what about you? What's your short piece of napkin advice for the newlyweds out there?


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## JWTBL (May 28, 2014)

Honesty, fidelity, respect.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I hate that tradition. Some of the lamest advice I've ever heard was at weddings. Fortunately the couple will never read or remember any of it.
I can't tell you what I advise because I never give the same advice to different people. Being allowed to write anonymously I would be half likely to write: You read this far? good job, burn the rest.
MN


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## luv2luv (Mar 28, 2013)

Remember that you choose to be with each other every day, so never take each for granted.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## luv2luv (Mar 28, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> I hate that tradition. Some of the lamest advice I've ever heard was at weddings. Fortunately the couple will never read or remember any of it.
> I can't tell you what I advise because I never give the same advice to different people. Being allowed to write anonymously I would be half likely to write: You read this far? good job, burn the rest.
> MN


I mean it's anonymous so I guess supreme honesty should be tried. I know what I would write to a certain couple about to be married. 

To the bride - people have special events like weddings, birthdays , childbirth, etc everyday. While these events are special and should be celebrated do not take that as a license to be a demanding jerk.

To the groom - you are not always right and you are not usually the smartest person in the room. Try to remember that in your next argument with your wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> I hate that tradition. Some of the lamest advice I've ever heard was at weddings. Fortunately the couple will never read or remember any of it.
> I can't tell you what I advise because I never give the same advice to different people.


I hear you; and yes, there was a reason I never asked for this at my own wedding! 

You are right that the advice should fit the couple. This couple was very young. She is 19, and he 21. Totally good kids (not "in trouble") but...very idealistic. Heads in clouds. I worry hardcore about this type because they never seem to know what to do when the glow wears off. And did I say young? 



> You read this far? good job, burn the rest.


LOL! That advice, I am sure, they would remember.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Keep your fights clean and your sex dirty.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

luv2luv said:


> you are not usually the smartest person in the room._Posted via Mobile Device_


My Brother was told the 4 most important words were: "you're probably right dear" His bride promptly told him he could forget the probably part. Another friend of mine said, "I thought I was marrying miss right, I didn't know her middle name was always."

MN


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## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> My Brother was told the 4 most important words were: "you're probably right dear" His bride promptly told him he could forget the probably part. Another friend of mine said, "I thought I was marrying miss right, I didn't know her middle name was always."
> 
> MN


I always cringe when I hear someone advise a man to just tell his wife that she's right all the time.

Partly because it puts men in that passive place of always deferring to his spouse, and partly because it misses the point entirely. Like saying "I love you," the magic in "You're right" only happens when _you mean it_. 

"You're right," doesn't mean, "ONLY you're right." It does mean, "I hear where you are coming from and value what you have to contribute to this. It's every bit as important as what I have to contribute, so let's put our two heads together on this and figure it out." 

The other day I was washing dishes while my husband and I were having a nice discussion. Out of the blue I put down my dishrag and told him, "I don't want you to just defer to me, to give up what you want in order to avoid a fight or to placate me. Please don't just tell me what you think I want to hear. I don't want to find out in 20 years that while all along I thought WE were happy, actually I was the only one who was happy." 

We talk about this kind of thing a lot, so I really wasn't expecting him to reveal any major dissatisfaction. And he didn't...but he did think it over for a few minutes and then tell me that he was slipping into the habit of letting me pick what TV show we watch together after dinner, instead of asking for his favorites. He said when he asks for something that's not on my list of favorites, he can tell I'm not thrilled with the choice, and that it's easier to just let me have what I want. 

Tell you what, I'm going to be asking for HIS favorite shows for a change. I meant what I said...I don't want everything my way. I don't want anyone just telling me that I'm right.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

"Never stop dating each other"


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

That would have caught me off guard. But honestly there's no room on a napkin. It may be a profound statement of truth but it's just another napkin with words that they save in a wedding book.

I'd go with team as well but there's not enough room to define what team actually means to me.

The real question? Did you're twin write something better? dun dun dun.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

We did this at my son's wedding this past May. 

I did two:

"Never stop dating each other" & "Communication is everything."

2nd marriage here....and we live by these two! (And the part about keeping sex dirty!)


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## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

Thundarr said:


> That would have caught me off guard. But honestly there's no room on a napkin. It may be a profound statement of truth but it's just another napkin with words that they save in a wedding book.
> 
> I'd go with team as well but there's not enough room to define what team actually means to me.
> 
> The real question? Did you're twin write something better? dun dun dun.


I shudder to imagine what my twin's wedding advice would have been.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Keep a picture of your wedding on your phone. Look at it if your feeling weak in life
Don't cheat and remember the vows you made
Be each other's biggest cheerleaders in life


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's all screaming until the whole boat sinks.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

I would write on the napkin: "Love is a choice not a flighty emotion"


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

don't forget your towel


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## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


> don't forget your towel


I'm confused. What towel? What's happening here?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Faeleaf said:


> I'm confused. What towel? What's happening here?


Hitchhikers guide reference, I don't have time to find the full quote.
MN


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well I was thinking Towlie from South Park but that can work too


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## Big Tree (Jul 25, 2014)

You Go We Go!


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Always make each other your priority in life....


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> well I was thinking Towlie from South Park but that can work too


You're a towel.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐to‐hand‐combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might have accidentally "lost.". What the strag will think is that any man that can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)


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## ILoveSparkles (Oct 28, 2013)

Honestly, my first reaction would be to write "don't ever ask for napkin advice, it puts people on the spot." LOL

But my true advice would be something along the lines of "remain faithful, truthful and respectful of each other."


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

"Help! I'm being held captive in a napkin factory!"


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## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


> "Help! I'm being held captive in a napkin factory!"


Another example of one they'd be SURE to remember!


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Faeleaf said:


> Earlier this summer I was at the wedding of a friend's daughter. Midway between the reception the bride and groom asked everyone to write down a piece of advice for them on some small napkins that had been handed out.
> 
> I remember feeling caught off guard, partly because I tend to be wordy (!) and the napkins were small, and partly because the ushers came around to collect those napkins pretty quickly. I had to think fast and I'm still not sure I came up with the best thing. I didn't want to write anything predictable like "Don't go to bed angry," but I'm still not sure I came up with anything great. I think it was something like,
> 
> ...


I LOVE your advice!! My husband and I came up with a secret handshake shortly after we were married. We press our rings together and go "tssssssssss" and it makes us smile and giggle every time. 

My advice would be, make love and be affectionate as much as possible, and do whatever you can each day to make your partner happy. 

I wake up each morning and think "What can I do today that will make my husband happy". 

Maybe it is cheesy, but we're 5 months strong and our marriage gets better every day.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

coffee amore said:


> keep your fights clean and your sex dirty.


this x 100000000


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

To the new couple: Always act with integrity, always communicate with each other, and wake up every day thinking of ways to make your spouse's life even better. 

That is my advice.


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## Jakobi Greenleaf (Sep 19, 2012)

Tell your spouse that you love them. Tell them as often as they need to hear it, and tell them in a language that they understand.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

"never listen to advice that random people write on napkins"

Or more seriously: "forgive"


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

My folks received a piece of advice:

Never treat your spouse worse than you would treat a stranger.


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