# We might actually make this work.



## mrblack

On March 3rd my wife told me she wanted a divorce. To say the least it hurt like hell. Even as of today we are still living under the same roof. We get along okay and have made progress towards reconciliation. We had a talk one evening and I was ready for her to move out. I could not take being in the house with the woman I loved and her not sure how she felt. That same night her parents offered to help her find a place to live. They are buying an investment property for her to live in while we are separated. This made her and I both happy. That happiness was short lived because buying a house takes time. I finally asked her when was she going to at least start packing. That really upset her and we had a very long talk. First the talk was more of an argument then it turned into a discussion about the future. During this discussion I laid out what I was planning on doing. I told her that I want her to have her space so that we could have a chance to rebuild our marriage. I told her I wanted to be able to date her again and treat her like she deserved to be treated. She was very open to this. She said she might even ask me out first. This was really cool. I few nights ago she said she was open to reconciliation because she has no idea what the future holds. She is no longer focusing on a divorce she is calling it a separation. 
To give you all a bit more insight on why we are separating. We have been married for 8 and a half years and have a beautiful 7 daughter. Right after our daughter was born and I decided to go back to school to get my degree. Well after I graduated I could not find a good job and fell into depression. I was in a deep depression for about 2 and half years. I was doing drugs and going out whenever and not be a very loving and responsible person. This is and was not like me. The depression had taken over. Right before she dropped the bomb I was coming out of the depression. I was on the verge of finding a job. Now since she has dropped the bomb, I have found a steady solid good paying job. I have become more active in my daughters life and am being more like the man she married. I did gain weight during my depression but have changed my diet and have been working out. I have lost 25 pounds and am working on about another 15 or so. I am hoping that this time away will allow her to heal because I know I have hurt her. I have apologized to her and I know that has helped. I am also seeing a counselor and this is helping me cope. I refuse to allow myself to go into a rut of depression like I did before. I am not just telling her that I have and am changing, I am showing her. 

My parents, her parents and our friends think that we are soul mates and are meant to be, as do I. 

My question is do you think I am going about this and do I have a chance to actually save my marriage because I want to save it. I want to make her the happiest woman on earth.


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## flippymendoza

Of course you have a chance to save your marriage. Work on being the person YOU want to be. Think about it, maybe write it down - What type of man do you want to be, do you want her to see you as, do you want your daughter to see you as? Improve yourself, and you will improve your situation


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## DelinquentGurl

There is always hope in most situations. I wouldn't want anyone to try and work things out when there is abuse or serial cheating, but other than that I think most issues can be worked through.

Just don't take things too fast, slow down and really communicate so you don't end up back and square 1 down the road.
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## mrblack

Thanks for the input. I have talked with my wife and we are on what seems to be the road to reconciliation. She is very open to it. I have also made major lifestyle changes. I have a very steady job, I am also spending loads of time with our daughter. I also read the book called the 5 love languages. I have discovered my wife's love language and it is acts of service. I have been working really hard to do things to her. Especially unexpected things. These changes are permanent as well. I refuse to repeat the past. My wife deserves better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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