# I don't want to change my name



## joandogget

I'm getting married in 3 months and we have only ever had one argument. He wants me to take his name and I really want to keep my name as I have built up a business and am well known professionally by my name. Am I being petty in wanting to keep my name? Is there any way around this?


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## oties101

I don't think you're being petty, but a good compromise a lot of couples come up with is hyphenating the names. Instead of becoming "Jane Smith" you'd be "Jane Taylor-Smith" or what have you. 

I know a few business women who have kept thier own last names, but be aware that when new people meet you as a couple, they will most often refer to you with your husbands last name.


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## sarah.rslp

joandogget said:


> I'm getting married in 3 months and we have only ever had one argument. He wants me to take his name and I really want to keep my name as I have built up a business and am well known professionally by my name. Am I being petty in wanting to keep my name? Is there any way around this?


Well no I don't think so, you've got solid reasons for wanting to keep your name. What oties101 mentioned is the way to go I think. Future hubby might be thinking about potential children as well, so reasure him on that front and I bet he'll be happy.

On another note I found it really wierd, especially as people used to call me by a shortened version of my last name (well still do) I remember looking at my new drivers licence and wondering if I was still me...

Anywho I bet this all gets resolved really easily.


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## ScreamingInSilence

Use his name for kids/school/social stuff, and your name for professional things. You don't need to change it... he'll get over it.


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## justean

well your situation is quite common amongst doctors.

they choose their original surname for business and work purposes and have their married name for home affairs.

your not being petty. but your business has its own importance to you and your clientelle.


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## bhappy3

I kept my name when I got married, and funny enough, this kind of ties into the other thread in this grouping about trouble with inlaws. I wanted and still want nothing to do with his family, and that is why I kept my maiden name. I don't want to be associated with them. My husband's uncle seems to try to play a villan like in a soap opera. The family name is known around town, and we've used my name in certain situations where even my husband would rather not use his name for fear of it being recognized, and the inevetable "oh, you're related to...". 

Over our almost ten years of marriage, the subject has come up once or twice, that he'd rather me have his name, but he doesn't feel that strongly about it, so it gets dismissed. I would gladly share a name with him, almost any name we could come up with, just not that one. We both agreed that it would be too expensive to change all three (our daughter too) of our names, so we just drop it. 

Sure, there are also instances where we've had to prove that we're married b/c we don't share a name, but that doesn't come up often.


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## voivod

joandogget said:


> I'm getting married in 3 months and we have only ever had one argument. He wants me to take his name and I really want to keep my name as I have built up a business and am well known professionally by my name. Am I being petty in wanting to keep my name? Is there any way around this?


and this makes me think of the most successful business arguably in the world. mcdonalds. they thrive without it's namesake. you're sounding a little, uh, pretentious?


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## TNgirl232

I would go with the hyphenation as recommended above or what my mom did was dropped her middle name and turned her "middle" name into her maiden name.


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## draconis

As much as he may want you to take his name it is you that has to change it, would he take your name?

draconis


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## voivod

draconis said:


> As much as he may want you to take his name it is you that has to change it, would he take your name?
> 
> draconis


oh, drac--

the business might suffer with his name involved...


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## draconis

V reread what I said, he is stuck that she has to take his name? What is the difference if he takes hes or she takes his?

draconis


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## voivod

draconis said:


> V reread what I said, he is stuck that she has to take his name? What is the difference if he takes hes or she takes his?
> 
> draconis


sorry, i'm a traditionalist


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