# Ladies Would You Thank Him OR...



## wifenumber2 (Jul 29, 2011)

This AM while cuddling in bed, H asked me if I would consider liposuction if he made me an appt. He thinks it is safe, would make me feel better and "jump start" me since I work out three days per week. 

I'm 50 and need to lose about 50 pounds. I can do it if I just focused but I'm stressed and have come off an injury and 3 weeks of bronchitis so haven't been able to push myself when working out.

I didn't know whether to thank him or kick him on the nuts with that question. I was shocked because it came out of nowhere. It stung...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Before I had a reaction I think I'd ask him what thought process led him to asking me this out of the blue.
I don't know about your H but my SO is very solution oriented.If I have an issue,he wants to find a solution.If he saw I was having self esteem issues,dieting,and still struggling to lose weight he may go off on his own to research how to help me.The lipo comment could be something he'd say to me as a way of supporting my goals.
Why thank him though?I'd simply ask about his thought process then say something like I appreciate the thought behind the comment and I'm doing my best to not take it the wrong way.

Then decide if you'd like to go the route of lipo.


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## wifenumber2 (Jul 29, 2011)

Excellent point Scarlett---he is into solutions big time.
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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Before I had a reaction I think I'd ask him what thought process led him to asking me this out of the blue.
> I don't know about your H but my SO is very solution oriented.If I have an issue,he wants to find a solution.If he saw I was having self esteem issues,dieting,and still struggling to lose weight he may go off on his own to research how to help me.The lipo comment could be something he'd say to me as a way. of supporting my goals.
> Why thank him though?I'd simply ask about his thought process then say something like I appreciate the thought behind the comment and I'm doing my best to not take. it the wrong way.
> 
> Then decide if you'd like to go the route of lipo.


This.
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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Have you been complaining about your weight a lot lately. If so, that may have provoked his offer of liposuction. I try now to be careful about not baiting someone into saying something.

Would you like the possibility of the 2 of you engaging in some activity together? Perhaps you can counter offer.

this article might make you more cautious about liposuction: After Liposuction, Fat Just Relocates - NYTimes.com


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I agree with SB. Men tend to be solution orientated, and if he knows you're concerned about losing those extra pounds, he's probably just providing you with the best solution he can think of.

Personally, I'd thank him for his offer to pay for it and then decide whether or not I would have the procedure.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I bet it did sting! Wow, your H must have ball of steel to walk the razors's edge like that. Were I in your shoes... I'd thank him! As the women above point out, men bypass the agreement stages in discovery and brainstorming and go straight for solutions. If you've been complaining, complaining a lot, he may have offered just to put a lid on your self effacing comments. Apparently men don't like that either...

I always had a great ass, but during the long recovery from an illness I developed the cottage cheese look back there. I HATE it and at 50 it's REALLY hard to get rid of cellulite. I would offer daily BJ's for lipo!

Lucky girl!


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> I bet it did sting! Wow, your H must have ball of steel to walk the razors's edge like that. Were I in your shoes... I'd thank him! As the women above point out, men bypass the agreement stages in discovery and brainstorming and go straight for solutions. If you've been complaining, complaining a lot, he may have offered just to put a lid on your self effacing comments. Apparently men don't like that either...
> 
> I always had a great ass, but during the long recovery from an illness I developed the cottage cheese look back there. I HATE it and at 50 it's REALLY hard to get rid of cellulite. I would offer daily BJ's for lipo!
> 
> Lucky girl!


It's funny how women get crazy over cellulite. They care about it way more than men do.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

My husband would say something like that if I'm complaining, more as a if it bothers you that much do it.

So if you been talk about weight loss that's their solution.
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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

BrockLanders said:


> It's funny how women get crazy over cellulite. They care about it way more than men do.


I don't find appealing at all ....as a mater of fact its a big turn off for me!

I don't mind some extra pounds but celluite in my mind is much more than a few extra pounds.


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## wifenumber2 (Jul 29, 2011)

Not really complaining about my weight as I internalize that ad only I can fix that issue.
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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Is lack of attraction a factor?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

FrenchFry said:


> Cellulite, for the record, isn't caused by carrying too much weight.
> 
> Wikipedia Pic:
> 
> ...


that's not cellulite in my opinion. kinda of hot Might even put it in the nice a$$ category! sorry it is an over weight problem for most.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Cellulite is genetic! I have it myself and running 36 miles a week couldn't even cure it. So sad.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I've read all your other posts.

Kick him in the nuts is my answer.


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## firefly789 (Apr 9, 2013)

Ouch, that would sting me too. Maybe especially if said while cuddling. If it was in the middle of me complaining about my weight I probably would take it differently. 

You need to talk to him about it. If you're like me it will fester. You just need to ask him to explain why he suggested it out of the blue. Let him know it stung. He needs to support your efforts without hurting your self esteem/body image.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> I agree with SB. Men tend to be solution orientated, and if he knows you're concerned about losing those extra pounds, he's probably just providing you with the best solution he can think of.
> 
> Personally, I'd thank him for his offer to pay for it and then decide whether or not I would have the procedure.


Men do come out of the womb trying to solve problems. It's in our genes. We can't help our selves.


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## WellyVamp (Apr 26, 2013)

If I was in your shoes, my initial reaction would be to take offense, but sometimes men have strange ideas about how to approach sensitive subjects with women. 

I would give him the benefit of the doubt. As others have said, you need to talk to him and find out the intent behind it.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Aside from the discussions about his sensitivity, surgery is the LAST resort for anything to do with your body. 

I lost nearly 100 pounds about 5 years ago. I did it by studying nutrition (read a book by Tom Venuto called Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle). It's by a bodybuilder, but it's incredibly sensible information on how nutrition works at the cellular level, and how to combine that nutrition with a workout program that doesn't kill you. It's for men and women, and it's fascinating stuff (to me). 

I was in a low point in my life, everything was out of control. I asked myself, what is there that I can control that nobody else can get in the way of? Ah, my weight. I did this to myself, my choices, so I can make other choices that will put me back where I want to be. I am able to wear clothes that I wore when I was 25 (I'm in my 50s now).

Surgery is a last resort, only for people who have more money than sense (Hollywood Housewives) or have a life-threatening reason for it. You have neither. There are no quick fixes for our bodies; it takes time to let it go and it takes time to get it all back. But it's so much more rewarding to get it on YOUR terms instead of under a knife. IMHO


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

I don't really care much that he was trying to "solve your problem." I *acknowledge* he may have been trying to do so. But that doesn't excuse being an @ss.

I would have been highly POed if my husband said that to me in that way. 

He could have at least encased his "solution" within a sensitive conversation which honored your feelings.


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