# Grown up kids,they drive me nuts.



## ASV (Feb 6, 2011)

W got 2 sons and 2 daughters,youngest girl is 26 and living with a guy 10 yrs her senior for the last 6 yrs.She left the house to go to College 8 yrs ago and never came back but once a year on christmas.
Her BF is nice but does no effort to come along on her visits but once.They live 1000 km away.We have a Ranch so can not get away to often.
Sec daughter does better(31).She comes as often as she can but Alone as well,her BF for 10 yrs is also not into his IL family,yet we get along well whenever we are there to visit.but they visit his parent 2 or 3 times a month. She lives 500 km away.
The oldest boy is 37,lives for 12 yrs already with a twice divorced woman(1 kid,not his) 40 km away.
His GF or wife( i think they're married,not sure,he never bothered to tell us)want nothing to do with us.She detested her former inlaws and says they're all the same.
We've seen her a few times at her(she owns the house) and our place but we got largely ignored and are not welcome there.
As a result our Son is abandoning us now as well,We have not seen him in almost 3 years.Phone calls to him are never answered back.He never phones either.
The youngest son is 35.We had of the 2 boys the best relationship with him.He always helped me(needed or not) on te ranch and enjoyed the work.He was slated to take over the ranch in the future.
But he met a woman 5 yrs ago,(she's widow with one kid and owns her house on a acreage).They lived together for a yr but things turned sour and he left but aparently kept dating her.
We seen the woman 3 times in the first year and had a good time.
2 yrs ago out of the blue he married her(we where on the wedding but where told by the "lovely bride" later.. "what the hell was you doing there anyway,,,"i did'nt invite you")
She announced we where not welcome at her place and we haven't seen her since.
Anyway to make a long story short,Our son has not been happy since day one and is finally contemplating leaving her he told us last christmas.
She told him i don't respect you,they never have sex,she don't want his friends there,his personal stuff s sitting in a storage bin.She told him,"keep your junk out of my house.

Now 3 months later he is still with that ***** and we have not seen him since.We still talk on the phone once week but he don't call no more either.
I don't understand my own kids no more,yet we always had a tight knit lovely family when growing up.
The girls dont talk with the boys,the boys talk with nobody,not even with each other.
And me and my wife are left in shambles :scratchhead:

Can you figure all this out,we surely can't.
It sure makes us feeling worthless.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

My family of origin is fragmented too. My eldest bro and the youngest are very dependent on my mother, emotionally and financially where the youngest is concerned. She is a control freak with untreated mental illness. She has told me and my second oldest bro that we are not loved the way the other two are. Neither of us put up with her nonsense and we are very independent of her. She often complains that we stay away too much and she doesn't understand why. She has called us "wayward" and constantly puts us down. We are too outspoken for her. It's her way or the highway and with four kids, two chose her way while me and my other bro took the highway. Interestingly, we are the only two that are married.
Have your children ever told you why they stay away? That would be a good place to start.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I think it`s interesting that almost none of your children seem to want a relationship with you.

Have you wondered why that may be?

You don`t even know if your son is married or not to the "twice divorced woman".

Why do your children get married (maybe, you don`t know for sure) and not invite you to what is one of the happiest days of their lives?

It seems than none of your children's significant others wants anything to do with you.
If this were just one or even maybe two of them I`d be inclined to think they had a problem.
Considering the fact that it`s ALL of them leads me to believe the problem is yours.

The underlying tone of your post indicates to me that the problem is not with your children but with you.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My youngest (20) is home for the summer. It might come to blows. Disrespect, arrogant, rude, pissed off.


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