# how to spice up sex life with wife after having kids



## tonyng9876 (12 mo ago)

my wife and I am blessed with 2 kids, 1 daughter and 1 son.
after the second arrival, sex is eventually gone.
Any suggestion how I can spice things up with her?
big thanks!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Firstly how old is the youngest and secondly what does your wife say when you talk to her about it?


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## tonyng9876 (12 mo ago)

they are 7 and 3 years old respectively. i think she is keen when she is in mood and always end up with interruption from kids.  we didnt really discuss about this with her, kids come first.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You should be able to talk to your wife about this. Don't the children sleep through the night?


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## tonyng9876 (12 mo ago)

daughter sleeps with the mom, and so the son sleeps with me since young.. a bad habit right?


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

tonyng9876 said:


> daughter sleeps with the mom, and so the son sleeps with me since young.. a bad habit right?


This is a huge problem you have to stop tonight. Horrible for the marriage and really does nothing for the kids either. Both my kids were in their own room in their own crib from 2 weeks. Before that they slept in a basinet next to our bed.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

tonyng9876 said:


> daughter sleeps with the mom, and so the son sleeps with me since young.. a bad habit right?


Yes a very bad habit which has to stop. They won't like it but they aren't babies, they have to have their own beds.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

tonyng9876 said:


> daughter sleeps with the mom, and so the son sleeps with me since young.. a bad habit right?


Really bad habit. I moved my second kid out of our bedroom when she was 5 months old. 

I have never allowed my kids to come back to our bed unless they were sick or had a nightmare. 

We were back at having sex after 4 weeks post partum. We both were more than ready! 

Our sex life was less frequent when our kids were babies but we managed to still be intimate when we had the chance.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

tonyng9876 said:


> _*daughter sleeps with the mom, and so the son sleeps with me since young.. a bad habit right?*_



I'll never understand why people do this and then want to know *why* they become roommates with their spouses. 🤪 🤪 🤪


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

This issue is not about lack of spice. It is a fundamental relationship and desire issue. You have some very serious problems in your family dynamics and relationship. 

Date nights, candlelight and rose petals on the bed are not going to fix this. 

You may need actual professional marital counseling and possibly sex therapy.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

tonyng9876 said:


> daughter sleeps with the mom, and so the son sleeps with me since young.. a bad habit right?


Not a good habit at all. And the kids should not ever come before husband/wife bond. It was just the two of you at the start and will be just the two of you when the kids leave.

Your kids need to sleep alone in their own beds in their own rooms. 

You and wife need alone time without interruption from kids. Establish times and place where kids are not allowed.


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## GaLaxya (Sep 26, 2021)

tonyng9876 said:


> daughter sleeps with the mom, and so the son sleeps with me since young.. a bad habit right?


It isn't just a bad habbit. It is a big red flag!

Your wife has to be investigated to why she shares a bed with her daughter at this age instead of her husband.

This is not good and there is reason for concern to why she is doing this.

She doesn't do it for her daughter. Her daughter is old enough to sleep on her own and doesn't need her mother at all. There is no excuse why the mother has to share a bed and you know it.

A few questions:
- why does she chose the daughter to share bed with and send the son in your bed?

- has she issues with men/ males somehow?

- is it a cultural thing that male and female tend to get seperated? If not, even more red flags!

It is far from healthy and I am more concerned about the children espescially the daughter rather then your marriage.

There is something not right about your wife from what you are telling.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

tonyng9876 said:


> daughter sleeps with the mom, and so the son sleeps with me since young.. a bad habit right?


WHAT?
are you serious! 
that has to end tonight.
son and daughter sleep in their own rooms tonight. end of frigin discussion.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Kids need to sleep in their own beds!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

so lets tackle the real question: what does he do when the wife says "I WANT MY DAUGHTER TO SLEEP IN MY BED WITH ME!"

she is not going to give that up, for whatever warped reason it happened in the first place


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

We are sleeping in the same as man and wife, without kids. If you don't like that, there's the door.

Nothing more needs to be said.


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