# Serial rebounder or just moves on quickly?



## cupranod (Jul 7, 2010)

My marriage is just about to come to an end,we separated 7 months ago having been together almost 8 years,and married for just over 3.We have a 4 year old Son.

My Wife has filed for divorce,following a period of illness I had with serious depression;she said she had had enough of it.Obviously there's more to it,she had little physical interest in me for a long time and at times just seemed indifferent.She wasn't the most affectionate of people,very in control of her emotions.

When we met,she was 3 months out of an 8 year relationship,and prior to that she was married for the same length of time before she ended that,leaving her then 3 year old with his Father as she 'thought he would have a better life'. 
She does seem to move on very quickly,and after I moved out (even just before) she started seeing another man,which she still is,but describes him as 'adult convesation and company,and one of many friends'.Obviously she won't divulge to me what's going on due to divorce proceedings,but it's pretty obvious.I have asked her,but she rightly says to mind my own business and 'move on',which she has done rapidly!! She knows this man from her youth many years back.

During my depression I felt very unwanted,and took myself off away at weekends just to get away.She thought I was having an affair,which I wasn't,and said she couldn't trust me.I did become friends (only!!) with another couple of women,which she didn't like! Now she says to me 'well it's ok for me to have a man friend,the same as you had women friends.'It's like she is trying to get back at me!! She glams herself up now,whereas she never bothered before,and seems completely over me. I'm moving on with my life to rebuild it elsewhere.

How the hell do people move from one relationship to another so fast!!?? Maybe she had emotionally checked out a long time before!


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

She might be one of those people who just can't handle being alone. Some people just can't be single. They need a relationship to feel worthy or grown up. Or they feel like they have to prove something. Maybe prove that the failure of the last relationship wasn't their fault, or to prove that they are attractive or whatever. The fact that all these relationships keep failing, to me, are an indication that there is something going on with her that she refuses to address. I'm not saying it's her fault, necessarily, that they fail, but there's something she's not getting. Maybe she's picking the wrong kind of guy (not that there's anything wrong with you; some people just aren't compatible, you know?), or maybe she just isn't the committed relationship type and refuses to see it. 

Don't let her moving on affect you so much. If you two are done, I would just deal with the feelings that go along with that decision, and move on with your life. Whatever she is or isn't doing, she'll either eventually find happiness or continue to do what she's doing and be miserable. You can't control it, you can only control your life. Move on and find someone with whom you can have a happy, satisfying relationship.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

cupranod said:


> How the hell do people move from one relationship to another so fast!!?? Maybe she had emotionally checked out a long time before!


Maybe she wasn’t emotionally checked in in the first place. If she wasn’t that may have been part of the cause of your depression. There are reasons we get depressed. Life has many stresses and strains both inside and outside of the marriage. In tough times we instinctively, naturally expect emotional support from our partner and when it’s not there that fact alone can make us depressed.

Maybe she’s just “emotionally dead”. Not many women let go of a child, there’ll be a reason for that. Sounds like you’re well out to me and she’s unwittingly done you a favour.

Bob


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