# Aaagh, I'm falling apart



## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

How's your marriage? Do you two have frequent intimacy? How often is the sex?

You need to start working on yourself. You don't need her. Be secure with just yourself. You can deal with life without her or anyone else. 

Are you seeing a therapist?


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## _anonymous_ (Apr 18, 2016)

OP, sorry to learn of your health situation. Sounds serious, and it appears that you're doing the right thing by consulting doctors and seeking treatment. 

About your wife's seeming dismissal, do you know whether or not she even received your text message before deciding on her lunch outing? Just a thought.

My apologies if this is a repeat of your wife's behavior and you've posted about it before. News as you received does warrant emotional support.

Have you discussed this with your wife? Threatening divorce (especially without acting on it) might escalate your arguments and hinder conflict resolution. I'm trying to cut this out in my own relationship, so I know firsthand how damaging that can be.

If your anxiety is causing you to communicate in this fashion, it might be best to manage it. Has your PCP recommended any treatment for anxiety?


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## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

You need a professional to help you. You have a car? Can you drive an automobile? If so, go drive to a town with services. Some time alone will be good for you. You have to be willing to help yourself. Time to put yourself first.


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## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

OldManMage said:


> So I've been fighting for 9 weeks now with severe anxiety, mood swings, depression, lack of energy, and a whole other shopping cart full of symptoms.
> 
> Yesterday on my third visit to a doctor (different one each time) I finally found one who didn't jump directly to antidepressants and convinced her to do blood work.
> 
> ...


As someone who has suffered from PTSD why not get some Xanax for a short term solution. At least you can have a better quality of life.


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## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Dude, get help! Ditch the wife. Go live in a real town and have a redo at life. You obviously aren't happy with how your life turned out. So go make it a better one!

Do you exercise? Are you obese? Time to work on you!


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## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

sokillme said:


> As someone who has suffered from PTSD why not get some Xanax for a short term solution. At least you can have a better quality of life.


The antidepressants I've tried made me suicidal in addition to the horrible side effects. Makes me a bit more leery of anything a doctor prescribes.

I feel like everyone says "there's help, there's meds, life will get better" but I'm on 9 weeks of this, three medical doctors and psychologist. I really don't believe that anymore. And I'm not directing that comment at you, sokillme.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

OldManMage said:


> So I've been fighting for 9 weeks now with severe anxiety, mood swings, depression, lack of energy, and a whole other shopping cart full of symptoms.
> 
> So I told my wife this as soon as I heard, and then I went home for lunch to get a bit of emotional support. She was nowhere to be found, didn't answer her phone.
> 
> I've already threatened twice to leave her in the last 2 months due to the anxiety.


No offense, but YOU have threatened continually to leave HER and you expect her to be supportive of you?

IIWY, I'd be seeing a therapist before anyone else. A psychologist. Maybe a psychiatrist. You keep shopping for the answer you want because you don't want to hear that it's YOU that has the problem.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

OldManMage said:


> I'm not driving 2 hours one way to a real town just to chat with some ******* with a degree in listening. I'll suffer in silence first.


Aaaaaand there you have it. 

You have a mental problem but you're not willing to accept the truth. You want a pill to fix you so you don't have to look at why you have massive anxiety, stress, inadequacy, fear, and whatever else. 

Find a damn professional psychologist and let him fix you.


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## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

GuyInColorado said:


> Dude, get help! Ditch the wife. Go live in a real town and have a redo at life. You obviously aren't happy with how your life turned out. So go make it a better one!
> 
> Do you exercise? Are you obese? Time to work on you!


If only things were that easy. Not only do I still have kids at home, if you itemize my life on a sheet of paper it's awesome. I'm trying not to let something that primarily started 9 weeks ago ruin a quarter of a century of marriage. 

I'm a successful executive. I have zero debt, not even a house payment. I paid cash for two new cars last year. I probably donated more money last year than most of you guys make. By all accounts I shouldn't have stress. I'm 150 lbs of middle aged dad, if you know what I mean, so I'm not someone who regularly turns heads but I'm happy with my looks. I'm pretty sure I could start over if I wanted to, but I'd never get back what I'd lose in the process, and I don't mean money. I don't tend to need things anymore, now that I could have things. And before anyone calls me a 1%, know that I've been on welfare and food stamps before. There's no family money here, no college either, I kicked and scratched my way.

Thank you though for your comment. It made me realize just how much of a whiny ***** I'm being.


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## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

turnera said:


> You keep shopping for the answer you want because you don't want to hear that it's YOU that has the problem.


Oh I know I'm the problem. But you are right, I've been asking myself the same thing recently, am I just not hearing the answer I want? But the blood work results told me that wasn't the case. If I'd just tried living with the side effects of the antidepressants the first 2 doctors prescribed, I never would have found the physiological causes behind the symptoms.

I love how brutal these comments have been, because it's making me take a step back from the emotional anxiety and assert some willpower and logic. But I do disagree on this one, because my not accepting that it was all in my head has finally found some root causes to be addressed.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I know its difficult, but you need wait for more tests to find out what your medical situation is. It *might* be something very serious, but it might not. Even some very serious conditions can be treated.

Its very difficult to deal with medical anxiety.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

OldManMage said:


> The antidepressants I've tried made me suicidal in addition to the horrible side effects. Makes me a bit more leery of anything a doctor prescribes.
> 
> I feel like everyone says "there's help, there's meds, life will get better" but I'm on 9 weeks of this, three medical doctors and psychologist. I really don't believe that anymore. And I'm not directing that comment at you, sokillme.


Not offended. Xanax is has a very short duration, it can be used to just take the edge off. It is good when you are in the throws of a panic attack. Just a thought.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

OldManMage said:


> I'm a successful executive. I have zero debt, not even a house payment. I paid cash for two new cars last year. I probably donated more money last year than most of you guys make. By all accounts I shouldn't have stress. I'm 150 lbs of middle aged dad, if you know what I mean, so I'm not someone who regularly turns heads but I'm happy with my looks. I'm pretty sure I could start over if I wanted to, but I'd never get back what I'd lose in the process, and I don't mean money. I don't tend to need things anymore, now that I could have things. And before anyone calls me a 1%, know that I've been on welfare and food stamps before. There's no family money here, no college either, I kicked and scratched my way.


And yet...here you are, whining and stressing about what you have no control over.

SO not attractive.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

OldManMage said:


> Oh I know I'm the problem. But you are right, I've been asking myself the same thing recently, am I just not hearing the answer I want? But the blood work results told me that wasn't the case. If I'd just tried living with the side effects of the antidepressants the first 2 doctors prescribed, I never would have found the physiological causes behind the symptoms.
> 
> I love how brutal these comments have been, because it's making me take a step back from the emotional anxiety and assert some willpower and logic. But I do disagree on this one, because my not accepting that it was all in my head has finally found some root causes to be addressed.


IF that is what turns out to be the truth. The way I see it, two out of three doctors say it's YOU who is the problem. You just kept looking until you found one who said it wasn't your fault.


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