# Trying to keep my marriage together!



## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Hey, everyone! I'm here on the brink of losing my marriage and family. I have been married for 8 years, total 11. I have not been a good husband for the length of our relationship.

I have never cheated on my wife, but might as well have. I visited strip clubs when she strongly opposed it, stayed out all hours of the night with friends that were no good. I've neglected her, degraded her, never was supportive of anything she did. I have been very selfish by only caring about myself and never putting her #1.

She has given me several chances to change only to revert back to my old selfish ways. I have 2 sons, one with ADHD making life even more stressful.

Now she wants to seperate. She tells me she doesn't have feelings for me like before. She doesn't know what she wants and needs time to decide what she wants to do. 

I have had a deep period of self-reflection. Taking a long look at myself and not liking what I see. Bottom line is I don't want to lose her! I'm still in love with her! I have told her I am willing to do whatever it takes to heal her heart, but she heard this before. Something is different this time. I really want to make it work! I'm will put it all on the line for her! How can I win her heart back?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

This is going to be difficult. Your actions up until now have been very selfish, so telling her once again you will change is probably coming off to her as telling her what she wants to hear and doing what she wants until you are comfortable again then returning to the selfish behavior. It may be too little too late, but at minimum you need to stop telling her what you are going to do and start living it.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

I am thinking the same way. I have been doing alot to show her something different. I've stopped drinking for about 3 weeks now. I spent all last week and weekend working around the house. I have been listening to her and being alot more attentive to her. I cut out alot of TV and computer time. Almost nonexistent. I even started a diet. Been on for a week and a half now. I just can't see my life without her and it is eating at me. She still feels the same as I said earlier.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

You will have a long way to go in this. My best advice is to be patient with her and make sure you really can live with whatever changes you are making for life. Since your batting average is bad in her eyes you will need to be very consistent in your changes. She has probably detached herself from you in an attempt to ease the pain of what you have done in the past. She has lost trust in you because you have failed her in the past repeatedly. This road will be very long. I’ve been on it a year myself. Don’t overreact to the situation. Don’t dote on her or overload her. Gifts, cards, flowers… Some is ok but don’t overdue it. If she hasn’t had that kind of attention in the past it will come off as insincere now. Be as honest and open with her as you can and ask her to do the same. Find out what it is she really wants in the marriage besides getting rid of the bad behavior you have exhibited in the past. Read my mantra below and use those words in putting together a plan for your marital recovery. 

PS Good luck on the ADHD. My youngest has mild to moderate symptoms and I understand the additional stress this can bring to both parents.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Thanx, for your help! I understand it will be a long road, but to me it is a road I will travel. The patience part is my problem that I have to deal with. Alot of times when I don't see any kind of feedback from her I get frustrated. I love her so much! I am just trying to understand why is it now that I see the light sort of speak. Why is it now that I am truely on the brink of losing everything that everything comes into focus in my life. I feel so ashamed of myself that I have allowed my marriage to get to this point. So ashamed! She is a wonderful person and to let it get to this point tells me what a failure I am as a husband, father, and a man!


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

The one thing I am trying to understand is how men interpret what a woman is trying to tell you? Like when your wife tells you she doesn't know or she needs time and space. Is she meaning for you to leave or just to not talk about or bring up the subject of our problems? Just frustrating and another issue I have of trying to be a better communicator and coming to understand my wife better.:scratchhead:


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

If we can make our marriage work, I want to make it stick. I want this to be the end of the bad part of our marriage and the beginning of a new and improved chapter of our life. I know the best way to do that is to get better at communicating. That's my downfall.


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## Chris H. (Jan 27, 2007)

Is it possible that alcohol is a problem for you? Some of the things you've said sound similar to traits that go along with alcoholism.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Here is my piece for better or worse, do everything you can to improve yourself. Chances are you have lost her, but that one percent that she might see you living better may make her think twice or atleast in your next relationship you'll know and be better. Being a better man will also help your two children. If you see my success story you'll know I lost my first marriage but like you learned too much, too late.

draconis


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Yes, I have to say it has. Most of everything that I have done to hurt my marriage has been because alcohol was involved in one way or another. My wife has said I am an alcoholic at times. 

She doesn't want me drinking anymore which now I am understanding the pain it has caused her. I haven't taken a drink for about 3 weeks now. The guys I hang out with all drink so the temptation is there. They all tell me grab a cold one, but now when I think of alcohol I think of my marriage and the pain my wife has been through. So, I don't want to drink anymore.


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## Chris H. (Jan 27, 2007)

Well, if you think you might be an alcoholic and in need help, I recommend AA. They are groups of alcohoics who help each other stay sober, and it works if you follow the suggestions of the program.

I've been sober over 8 years now thanks to AA. It's not the only solution out there, but it worked for me and it's changed my life for the better. My experience seeing many people relapse over the years though, has been that it doesn't generally work for people unless they've "hit bottom" and are totally committed to doing whatever it takes to change. It sounds like you're still hanging out with your drinking buddies though - that might not fit in too well with a sober lifestyle regardless of how you try to quit.

Have you tried to quit drinking before?


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

No, I felt I really didn't have a problem. I always put the blame elsewhere. Now, I have really seen the damage it caused. As far as hanging out with my friends, that doesn't happen much. I'm trying to rebuild my marriage and I see drinking with friends and marriage do not mix. So, that had to go! What I'm dealing with now is trying to win my wife back and rebuild our life together. It's hard for me to see what I put my wife through and expect her to love me again.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Bad Guy said:


> The one thing I am trying to understand is how men interpret what a woman is trying to tell you? Like when your wife tells you she doesn't know or she needs time and space. Is she meaning for you to leave or just to not talk about or bring up the subject of our problems? Just frustrating and another issue I have of trying to be a better communicator and coming to understand my wife better.:scratchhead:


Try to put yourself in her position. She has dealt with your negative behavior for many years and it slowly ate away at her until resentment built up to a point where she feels done. Now you respond and it probably feels very confusing and overbearing to her. Not only, can I trust that he really will change, but do I even want to at this point. She probably feels very reluctant because if she opens up her heart again to give you another chance and you blow it, where does that leave her? Even more broken and hurt than she is now. 

The best thing you can do for her is to be extremely patient. Just because you have had this awakening and now know what you want, doesn't mean she will accept this with open arms. I really think she needs to see the changes in you and that they are sincere and lasting changes...not just a mad scramble to do and say what she wants to hear just to win her back.

As you have already stated, you put her through years of turmoil. Now it is your turn to give her all of the space and time she needs in a selfless way. Not for your own wants/needs but because of the love you have for her. No matter the end result, you will be better off working on making you a better you.

Hang in there & every time you get frustrated that things don't seem to be going the way you would like, think about what she must be feeling & stick to making up the years to her.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Thanx everyone! This has enlightened me as to what to expect to go through from here on out. I have a long road ahead if I'm to make this work, but I'm determined to to turn things around for the better. Thanx for all your support I really am thankful.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Hang in there! There's always hope. The fact that you are admitting to the problems you caused in your marriage is a big first step. It's going to take some time for your wife to see positive results though. Also, I agree with some of the other posts. It would be beneficial for you to join a group such as AA for the alcohol problem. You could get support from others, possibly make NEW friends, and show your wife how serious you are about changing.

How old are your sons? I can see where some resentment could have resulted. When you were out late having a good time with your friends, she was at home taking care of the children. Perhaps you could offer to keep the boys for an afternoon/evening. It would give her a chance to relax. I can remember when our children were younger. I would have welcomed a chance to catch my breath and relax.

Good luck and keep us posted.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

My sons are 10 and 2 years old. Most of the damage to my marriage was done around with my oldest son. I'm hanging in there! It's tough for me right now, but I know the pain I put her through is even tougher. 

I felt I should leave for awhile, so I stayed with my sis for the weekend and probaly stay with a friend close to work. Just to give us both some space. I don't know how this will end up? I will keep trying if she is willing, but the ball is in her court now. 

I am trying to come to grips with the concept that all I can do now is work on myself. I repair cars at a dealership, so I have it in my head that I can fix her feelings. I know I can't and that is the struggle. I want this to work so bad, but I can't force her if she's not willing.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Just an update...Well, so far everything is still the same. I'm staying at a friends house and just trying to give her space. We pretty much just txt here and there. I ask her what does she want to do? Divorce or work it out. Her answer has been, "I don't know?" That's hard for me to take, but I understand that she is leary of me if what I say to her is just a smoke screen or for real. I know in my heart I'm for real! 

I'm ready to grow up and be a real husband and make her #1 in my life. The thing I'm trying to cope with is other people telling me that her, "I don't know?", is actually because another man is involved and that's why she doesn't know. I don't see no evidence of that beside she won't let her phone out of her sight, but it does bother me alot. Especially, when half the marriages at my work have ended in divorce due to their wife cheating on them and that's what they want to talk about. It's funny, when they talk about why their marriage failed, I see why and they don't even know it or want to acknowledge it. They want to blame their spouse. Although, I can't blame her if she is. It's the way I have treated her that has turned her away. I have a poor track record, but I know this is real for me this time and I have opened my eyes. It's like the boy who cried wolf. Now, I have to deal with that within myself. 

I tell everyone one thing though, reading the book "Getting the love you want" by Harville Hendrix, has made me see marriage in a whole new light and learned alot about what it takes to make a marriage successful. I'm almost halfway through it and it kind of got me hooked reading it.

The one positive thing happened yesterday was me and my wife went grocery shopping last nite just me and her. I tell you what, I enjoyed every minute of it! Just the small talk and being together makes me appreciate the time we had together. I miss her so much it hurts!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Bad Guy

Continue on your changes. Stay off the booze and give her space when she needs it. Attention when she accepts it. Time is not your enemy in this, it is your ally. Because when you ask her what she wants to do and she says “I don’t know” it doesn’t mean some one else is involved. It simply means she’s trying to work through what’s best for her. Just because friends at work have experience infidelity on their spouses part doesn’t mean she is engaging in it. Sure it’s a possibility but use your intuition and understanding of her make that determination. Not a bunch of sour grapes from others. Spending some causal time with her is great and don’t expect much more for a while. Again, don’t dote on her but show her you care. Show confidence and empathy. Things will take time but they can work out. Good luck


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Had our 8th wedding anniversary yesterday. Bought her some chocolate and roses along with a nice card. Really had no reaction to them. Not even a hug. I had to hug her. Very tough for me!

Well, so far everything is still the same. Still living with a friend of mine and nothing much has changed as far as how she feels about things. 

We are having alot of deep talks about our marriage lately and about things about her childhood that has given me alot of insight as to her feelings. She told me something odd that I wanted to get everyone's thought on. She has told me that when she is out in public or anywhere for that matter, when she sees another woman she would say to herself, "I think she would be a good woman for me?" Me meaning myself. She says she doesn't know why or what that is about? Any thoughts or is there something to read into this or not?

As far as my own feelings, I'm starting to feel like giving up actually. I feel if we are going to try to save this marriage it can't be done with me living at my friends house, but she tells me she is not ready for me to come home. 

Her feelings are that she doesn't know what she wants to do? She feels she isn't ready to let go of our marriage, but at the same time she doesn't want me around full time and likes her space. Very though for me!


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Bad Guy said:


> Yes, I have to say it has. Most of everything that I have done to hurt my marriage has been because alcohol was involved in one way or another. My wife has said I am an alcoholic at times.
> 
> She doesn't want me drinking anymore which now I am understanding the pain it has caused her. I haven't taken a drink for about 3 weeks now. The guys I hang out with all drink so the temptation is there. They all tell me grab a cold one, but now when I think of alcohol I think of my marriage and the pain my wife has been through. So, I don't want to drink anymore.



You need some new friends or the temptation will always be there. Those friends went with that lifestyle you are trying to change. If your friends won't support you in this change, get rid of them. Put your marriage first. You may have already lost her but maybe not. You have to show her not tell her what you will do. Patience is tough, maybe this will be the toughest thing you ever had to do but if you can save your marriage then not only will that be a great gift but you will improve yourself as a man..First thing though, forgive yourself and commit to being a better husband, father, man.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Update...Right now were still seperated now for almost a month. Nothing really has changed. We talk here and there. I don't see any progress in anything getting better. She still says, " I don't know?" It's frustrating! I miss my wife and kids! Everyday is a struggle. One minute I'll feel up about things then the next I'm down.

She tells me she doesn't trust me. She can't get over things in the past. I tell her that we had a bad marriage together, but we have the rest of our lives to be happy with me giving it everything I got. Still, she is fighting with her feelings and are waiting to see if they come back? I have trouble with this because I believe nothing can get better if I'm not given a chance to prove myself.

At this point, I am really about to throw in the towel and give up. It is hard for me because I want my family back. At the same time if this isn't going to work I want to move on. She doesn't want to let go because she's worried her feelings will come back but right now she doesn't feel anything for me to allow us to work it out. 

When is it time to move on and let go? It's been a tough month full of ups and downs. I can't see myself going through this another month or even another week. I just can't!


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

A month is not enough time. Give it more, it may take 6 months or a year. Keep doing the positive things and prove to her that you can have a happy life together. If you give up now she will probably think "see I was right, he wasn't committed". Earn her trust and that takes time. Meantime, why don't you find some positive outlets. As hard as it is, find some new hobbies/interests that are healthy and will give you a bit of a distraction and maybe she can enjoy those hobbies with you later at some point. Hang in there.


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## blind (Jan 17, 2008)

Bad Guy - Patience and Consistency. Let me say that again, PATIENCE AND CONSISTENCY. My story is very similar to yours (minus the alcohol). I was selfish and put nearly everything in my life before my wife. Years of resentment and hurt led to my wifes love for me dying. I'm doing my very best to save my marriage and it doesn't look good. But here is what I've come to realize. It took years to destroy my wifes love for me and I can't expect it to return in just a few weeks, months, or maybe even years. She will have a hard time returning to the marriage until she believes your changes are real. If she is like my wife, she will have a very difficult time opening herself up if she feels there is any chance of being hurt again. So, you must be patient and consistent.

You are now talking about giving up in part because you can't see effort from your wife. You don't feel like she is giving you a chance. I share those feelings often. Here is how I stay motivated. First, think about this. You still love her and want your family back. You want a happy and loving marriage. Despite this you are struggling with staying the course and putting forth the effort. Just think how hard it must be for your wife to put forth the effort after what she has been through. My wife doesn't love me. I can't imagine how hard it must be for her to muster much effort toward saving the marriage when I know how much I struggle finding the determination and effort. Second, if you give up, all the things you fear will happen. It may not work out despite your best and valiante efforts. But giving up pretty much guarantees failure.

Dig deep my friend, keep your nose to the grind, and be PATIENT and CONSISTENT! Stay away from the bottle, work on life long improvements in yourself, and fight to save your marriage. Your children, your wife, and yourself deserve every opportunity to save this relationship.

Blind


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Blind has made some solid points.


Bad Guy said:


> I have trouble with this because I believe nothing can get better if I'm not given a chance to prove myself.


You do have the chance to prove yourself to yourself. Quitting drinking and becoming the goodguy is the only way to prove you're a changed man, so focus on staying on course because you can't make those changes for her or to win her back, if they are to be lasting changes because you want them it will be worth it in the end no matter how things work out. She needs to see real change and start to feel this change is not temporary. You cannot force this upon her but if you are sincere she will notice, even if your contact is minimal at this point.


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## Mrs. Negestie (Jul 15, 2008)

It seems to me that in your heart that u really have already given up and are just blaming your wife because if you really love some one you will give that person space and give that relatioship space and time to heal you have children together make sure that they are not affected by the siyuation and then come back to your self


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Mrs. Negestie said:


> It seems to me that in your heart that u really have already given up and are just blaming your wife because if you really love some one you will give that person space and give that relatioship space and time to heal you have children together make sure that they are not affected by the siyuation and then come back to your self


I haven't given up! It's just hard for me because I truely want to work on our marriage. I understand about her not believeing me about trying to change. Like I have said, I'm ready to put a %110 into my marriage so frustration is setting in. I miss her and miss my kids terribly! I miss my home! 

I'm mad at myself for taking for granted the life I had with her or could've had if I just woke up and opened my eyes. I will hang in there regardless of what happens. It's just hard to deal with being concious of what my life has become and why and how it got there. I'm just eager to start working on making things right. Very frustrated and sad!


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## Mrs. Negestie (Jul 15, 2008)

:iagree: y dont you introduce her this site to show how much you care . And to show that you are looking advice to make a new change and a difference in your lives.


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## hitrockbottom (Jun 3, 2008)

Bad Guy -
Here is a little input from a me..I have the same situation...wife keeps saying "I don't Know" won't give me a direct answer.etc....

That emotional roller coaster your on will continue...your going to convince your self one day everything will work out, the next you set that it will fail...just have to learn to take things Day by Day.

I do agree that it is hard to work on things when your not @home. I was away for about 3weeks. Then when I did move back in I lived in the basement. Even though you did were in the wrong, it doesn't mean that she has the right to treat you like a doormat.

Eventually I told my wife, I am leaving for 3 days(weekend) when I come back I will be in my house, in my bed, and in my room. I came back moved everything back into my room.

She said fine she will sleep n the basement. I said Ok...didn't show her that it bothered me. I agreed with her feelings w/o argueing. I didn't let her take anything of comfort (IE...the fan, Ihome, Ipod) any thing she was used to having to sleep. I said that it belonged in the room. I wanted her to see that the 3weeks I gave to her, the three weeks I respected her space, how uncomfortable it was. 
The next day she was back in the room. 

Not saying thats what you need to do verbatim but "maybe" you need to give her a time frame.


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## blind (Jan 17, 2008)

This is just a little thing I've been mentioning on a few of the threads I have contributed to. Please remember that while there is an abundance of useful information and people on this forum, each situation is different. There are many views and opinions about what someone should and shouldn't do in a given situation. Sometimes the opinions are at odds. So, please understand that many of the people on this forum are not professionals. I truly believe we must each assess our personal situations and make the best decisions we can. Just because I might make a suggestion doesn't mean it should be put into action. This is something I'm sure you know, appreciate and understand. But when a person is desparate it can be easy to be influenced without first giving your plan of action some clear and meaningful reflection.

For instance, Hitrockbottom gave his wife a time frame and it benefited his situation. I tried to give my wife some time frames and it pushed her further away to the point she settled on getting a divorce. Had I been too rigid on the time frames I expect we would no longer be together today. Only after I retracted any time frames and gave her as much time as she needed did she start to reconsider. She is again unsure of what she wants. This is an improvement compared to her previous decision that divorce is the only answer.

Bad Guy, my very best to you and yours. Keep up the good work. Not all of the troubled marriages we read about on this forum will survive. But I truly believe that your hard work will show and your wife will see it. When this happens I hope she will be accepting of it.

Blind


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## hitrockbottom (Jun 3, 2008)

Here is a good Quote that I like 
"it’s more important to enjoy the good things that you’ve
got and minimize the importance of the things that you don’t have as an important step
towards making things better."- H.M.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Thanks everyone for your advice! You don't know how much it is appreciated. To me nothing is going to change or get better if I'm not at home trying to show her my changes and her getting comfortable with me again so she can feel better about our marriage. I'm going back home! I feel I am ready to show her how important she is to me. 

We had a month apart. To me we can go on for month's and month's and it still could be the same. Nothing is improved upon except us getting farther apart from each other. I don't want to sit around and wait for her to tell me it's over and not even have the chance to show her something different. I feel in my heart that this is what needs to be done. I feel I need to show her I am ready to take charge of our marriage and take it to a better place. If she has a hard time with that, I have to let go because it won't get any better staying apart. How can things get better if the marriage is not being worked on together in the same place? That to me is what makes alot of sense. Being away from each other just allows us to grow apart. 

I can see staying separated if the one that has been doing the damage in the relationship is not looking at himself deeply to change. I feel I am ready to work at this %110. Thanks again everyone for your help and support. I'll keep you updated!


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## blind (Jan 17, 2008)

I agree you need to be in the home. I hope you didn't take my posts as suggesting otherwise. I found that being too clingy or needy was bad for my situation. I've never left the marital home or the marital bed. But I sometimes have to step back and give my wife more space. Just some food for thought from my personal experience. Take it for what it is worth. Keep your eye on the prize and please do keep us posted on how things are going.

Blind


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## Missy (Jul 11, 2008)

Self reflection is a good start, but to her you have said these words before and now only actions will suffice. You need to show her how you are changing. It wont be overnight but if she see's your effort you will have a chance. Keep communicating with her and find out what she really wants from you. NOT surface things but what is it she is really asking of you. It might just be the key! It sounds like she wanted more time with you and your undivided attention. do some research, keep soul searching, ask the questions, and put into action. This way you do have a shot at saving your marriage.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Update...This is pretty bad update for me to share. I called my wife on friday to talk to her that I'm coming home and that nothing is getting resolved being separated. So, I pack up my things and go home. My wife works 2nd shift so she doesn't get home till about 11:45pm. I wait for her to come home and she doesn't get in till after 12:30. Out of character to come home that late. No big deal, I blow it off. 

She comes home and says she's not staying long because she's going up north camping with her family and join my 2 sons who are already up there and come back sunday. I knew about this trip so no surprise, but with it being late I thought she would just go to bed and leave in the morning. 

We talk about things for awhile and it gets to 2pm and she is done packing and is addament that she wants to go now to drive 2 hours away to the camping site. So, I'm sad because I thought we could use this weekend to work on things. 

So leaves and I ask her to txt me when she got there to let me know she made it ok. I fall asleep and check my phone and no txt. I'm worried so I txt her and see if she was ok and she responds, "yeah, I'm fine." 

During the weekend I clean around the house, read books I have about marriage eager for her and the kids to come home. Sunday comes around and I txt her with no response. Through out the day I txt her and call her with nothing. 5pm rolls around. I'm worried now so I call her mom who is there camping with the whole family and ask her is my wife there and is she ok. She tells me she hasn't seen her all weekend and was expecting her to come. Now, I'm shocked! Her mom calls her to find out what's going on. I call her back and she tells me she's fine, but my wife wouldn't tell her where she is? Then my wife txt me finally and says, "What the f... do you want?" I'm like what is going on? I call her and she won't answer the phone she will only txt me. I ask where are you what's going on? She responds with "Leave me the f... alone and leave my mom out of it!" 

At this point, I'm shocked and stunned because this is so out of character for her to do this. She lied to me about camping and she won't tell me anything about where she is or what she's doing? This is night #3 she is away for and everything you can think of is racing through my head. She stopped responding to my txt now. So, I sit here hurt, shocked, disbelief, just in pain. She turned completely heartless. Nothing bad happened lately for this? I just told her I was through with the separation and was coming home? 

Where do I go from here? I lost all trust. She has to be with another man. She doesn't have any friends except for one that I know of for her to go to like this? Right now I'm taking this as marriage over. What else is there now? Going in to see lawyer tomorrow. What does anyone think of this? And as of right now no word at all from her still as to what is going on?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Hi Bad Guy. Ive been following your story. Im so sorry things have seemed to go south. I read a lot of the posts and something Draconis said on another post sticks out to me. Sometimes we change too late to save the relationship we are in. But that doesnt mean the positive changes you've made in your own life have to go unrewarded. You may have lost the love of this relationship, but if you really have changed for the better, there could be another very rewarding relationship for you. 
I wish you all the best.


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## Bad Guy (Jun 12, 2008)

Thank you! I know I'm a good man in my heart. I just realized things too late. No matter what happens I'm a changed man for good. This whole experience has awakened me to myself. 

Well, still no communication at all with my wife. I meet with a lawyer at noon. Every man out there reading this, wake up and treat your woman like gold! They are very precious, so show them how precious they are! Don't be like me who had a great woman and lost her all because of my own selfishness and took her for granted. 

If your friends call and want you to hang out and drink and your wife doesn't want you to...DON'T GO!

If your friends want you to hang out at strip clubs...think of your wife and say NO!

I can go on and on, but you get the point. Don't let your marriage get to the point where I'm at where some other man is out there enjoying your wife with no idea where she is and your left on the side of the curb hurt and in pain. There's no pain like knowing another man is having sex with your wife. Please save yourself the pain and make her #1 in your life!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Sound advice Bad Guy. Spouses should all take heed that when your loved one tells you they are unhappy you need to try and understand why. Marriage takes work and without communication and effort it can slip into withdrawal and then on to failure. Good luck BG.


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