# a man's perspective



## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

Hello men, I have had other posts regarding my husband and the funk he was in during his year of unemployment. In short he had a sexy profile on file and had met a man for oral sex. After lying during marriage counselling about that and past sex with another woman (one that he admits) while travelling he now wants to reconcile our marriage. In short can a man be truly remorseful and realize he loves his wife and made big mistakes. How are we to know as wives that they are truly remorseful and want to be true? I have 30 years invested in this relationship and have had many turbulent years with him however we are still passionate lovers now even though we are seperated. Am I in need of help? Am I drinking the kool-aid? Please help with advise...


----------



## Quads123 (May 27, 2010)

Wow - your post surprises me. From what you have posted recently was there was no way this would happen. However I believe it can happen. That of a man understanding where he went wrong. I am not sure that you can ever be at a place where you are comfortable around him. At least with all he has done. Maybe you start dating again. See if you both can start the fire again. I just think that you will be the barrier in this working. Not that's its your fault mind you its just hard to erase what he has done and what you know at least to this point. Its hard to say other than it taking time to heal those scars. 

I know its ramble but hope it helps.


----------



## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

well I don't know what to make of this either, but we are having sex and talking alot...hashing it out and then making out! The new rule is "the truth even if it hurts". I feel like I am having an affair with my husband lol!
I do have alot invested in this marriage and it would be best all round if we could work it out....the trust will have to be worked on daily! it will be slow to come back completely...my genitals are happy but my heart says easy girl....I want to believe him


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i am a man, everyone is obviously different but i would have been hurt beyond repair if my wife had done these things. people that do what he did, that are capable of such acts, are likely never trustworthy in my opinion


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

IMHO, yes, I believe people can change, men or women and realize their transgressions and turn over a new leaf. 

Just remember that actions speak louder than words and you'll be okay. Being in your shoes, still loving him and all the years invested, I would try again too - but tread lightly, look at his actions and definitely "talk" about the others (men/women) and get it out and in the open as to why, etc.

He's probably discovered that the "grass wasn't greener" on that other side and realizes what he threw away.

Good luck!


----------



## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

Yes as okeydokie says I am hurt beyond repair to a point that's true. There will always be a part of my heart that was reshaped by the last two years of our marriage. I want to believe that he is remorseful because I am remorseful of mistakes that I make. Yes actions speak louder than words so I will remain cautiously optomistic and stay true to my heart. Time will tell and I will ask for guidance and signs.


----------

