# Was I right to file for divorce?



## Mappy (Feb 6, 2009)

I got married in May last year and now going through divorce. My husband accuses me of disrespecting his parents. But his parents especially his mother are nosy. The one time they came to our house and my father-in-law told me that he had suggested to my husband that we should make them a set of keys to our house. My husband didn't say anything to them. After they left he tells me it is a bad idea, I believe it was only because he could see that I was not happy about this. My in-laws also asked us to lie to people and say that they are doing the wedding for us whereas we were paying for it. We have a daughter and his mother has wanted to babysit her eversince she was born. She even suggested I express milk from my breast so that I can leave her with her when she was only 3 weeks (can you imagine that) I really felt she was crazy. It comes out my husband tells his mother everything that happens in the house. When we decide to by a decoder he would consult with the mother and come back the following day to tell me he asked his mother to get a decoder for us. I tell him about a rug I saw and the following day his mother calls me to tells me we should go to some shop as she has chosen a rug for us. Our house is a porn shop because they give us everyhting they don't want.The fight that led us to this separation was when he decided with his mother (without my knowledge)that she was going to stay with my 4 month old baby while we go to a funeral. I refused, he then called his mother and told her all the things I had mensioned like, His mother has never spend time alone with my baby nevermind make a bottle for her or even offer to change her nappy. Besides the last time she held a baby was in 1983. On 3 ocassions she bought my 2week old baby medication over the counter which the doctor said was fatal. He told me that his mother raised 4 kids and would know everything about a baby, that's when i refered him to the medication incident. If his mother knew everything, does that mean she knew the medication would kill my child. I needed to supervise her before i could leave her with my baby. I went to see a marriage councillor and he refused to join us. 2 days later I tried talking to him and he told me that I didn't see him as a man & that I should stop going to my church. I told him I didn't because he tells his mother everything and that he doesn't even go to church. I am the one who made his whole family go to church and now he want me to leave my church and join his. He then asked me to leave i refused and he insisted. I then told him that I would only leave if he told me he didn't want to solve things which he did say 3 times and that i should leave the house. I then packed my clothes as I was packing he told me he did not mean pack and leave I refused to hear him tell me to leave again so I continued packing. He called his mother and put her on speaker and she was hurling thing like, "you are the man and she should know that"..."how did you manage to live with such a woman?"A minute or two later he pulled the rings from off my finger, took my celphone he had bought for me and my house keys. He later accepted to my uncle that he is not committed to the marriage and that he will have to think about wether he is. When I went to pick ther rest of my staff from our house I foud his parents there (how obvious) and I called my mother to come with the cops as were advised to bring cops, him & his father called me and my mother prostitudes, w...., witch all the curses you can think of. I filed for divorce this year. we have been separated for almost 3 moths now. I still ove him but I feel he is abusive. When he is angry about something he doen't say why he is angry, he doesn't eat my food, doesn't talk to me, doesn't play with the baby. The one time I went outside to throw away baby dipers and found torn pictures of me in the bin. I was so scared. i feel like he can kill me because he also remove pictures of me from the pedestal each time he's angry. One thing i picked up was that after he speak to his mother he changes towards me.He doesn't even help out with any house chores & we didn't have a nanny, not even the bin nevermind the baby.


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## tired613 (Feb 10, 2009)

My first instinct is to tell you to run and protect that child of yours. How long were you two together before marriage?


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Take care of yourself so we don't see you on CNN. Sounds like a bunch of wackos, especially ma.


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## Mappy (Feb 6, 2009)

We were first together for about 3 years and then broke up for 4yrs, got back together for two yrs and got married. Did I also mention that he is a recovering alcoholic (now clean for about 4 years) I hope he still is sobre wherever he is.

I feel much better now that I hear someone confirm that they are a crazy bunch. Partly, I am getting the divorce to protect my baby. Sometimes I almost forget why i am getting a divorce. Please remind me that I am doing the right thing, I will keep on logging on to see words of encouragement.

Thanks! Your response is really coming in handy.


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