# Is it bad to take more time to orgasm for men



## ukv (Jul 6, 2012)

Mostly (greater than 50 percent) it takes me longer to orgasm. My wife seems to get impatient if she has had her orgasm or sometimes if she is not getting hers as well...

I somehow formed my opinion that women would mostly like it if it took longer or am I missing some point.... I used to feel proud about it but lately I am starting to feel a little guilty due to the reactions by my wife....

Your opinions would help me.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Your wife is being an idiot. Since it is usually over for a while once a guy orgasms, you finishing later is a good thing.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Tell her to she can easily help with that if she truly wished. 

Also do you frequently watch porn?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

ukv said:


> Mostly (greater than 50 percent) it takes me longer to orgasm. My wife seems to get impatient if she has had her orgasm or sometimes if she is not getting hers as well...
> 
> I somehow formed my opinion that women would mostly like it if it took longer or am I missing some point.... I used to feel proud about it but lately I am starting to feel a little guilty due to the reactions by my wife....
> 
> Your opinions would help me.


I personally don't like extended sex, especially if I've already had an orgasm (or 3). It can be exhausting once it happens, and usually shortly thereafter my H will finish, definitely with my blessing


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

My wife almost always cums before me. We had sex yesterday and she had ten to my one.

I could cum first, sure, but I get off on helping her cum first. I enjoy it, and it spurns me on toward a better climax. Also if I finish, and she hasn't even had one (very rare), the whole business just feels really incomplete to me. She feels the same on the very rare occasion that she finishes, and I don't.

The only down side is that if my wife tips over three orgasm, and if they're really strong ones, she tends to shut down and get washed away in a lazy haze. So sometimes she prefers me to cum sooner because she doesn't want to NOT satisfy me.


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## ukv (Jul 6, 2012)

Kasler said:


> Tell her to she can easily help with that if she truly wished.
> 
> Also do you frequently watch porn?


about once a week .... coz i have an unfulfilled need for a proper BJ and some kind of intriguing interest in anal which is unfulfilled as well.


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## ukv (Jul 6, 2012)

jaquen said:


> My wife almost always cums before me. We had sex yesterday and she had ten to my one.
> 
> I could cum first, sure, but I get off on helping her cum first. I enjoy it, and it spurns me on toward a better climax. Also if I finish, and she hasn't even had one (very rare), the whole business just feels really incomplete to me. She feels the same on the very rare occasion that she finishes, and I don't.
> 
> The only down side is that if my wife tips over three orgasm, and if they're really strong ones, she tends to shut down and get washed away in a lazy haze. So sometimes she prefers me to cum sooner because she doesn't want to NOT satisfy me.


u sound like a superman ... you guys are lucky ... feel happy to know at least some people are true torchbearers with realistic thoughtful contemporary attitude towards sex who are facing the emasculation forces such as those having ultra feministic ideas...


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## roger boschman (Aug 3, 2012)

ukv said:


> Mostly (greater than 50 percent) it takes me longer to orgasm. My wife seems to get impatient if she has had her orgasm or sometimes if she is not getting hers as well...
> 
> I somehow formed my opinion that women would mostly like it if it took longer or am I missing some point.... I used to feel proud about it but lately I am starting to feel a little guilty due to the reactions by my wife....
> 
> Your opinions would help me.


I suggest that, from all of my study, there may be millions of women around the world who would love to meet you. The man's quick orgasm is the number 1 complaint from women. You will be popular if you can last longer.
BUT if your wife wants you to hurry up, you need to talk about it. Find out what she wants. Can she come soon and then wait for you? Better still, can she come again, and maybe again?

I hope she can tell you what she wants. Let me know, soI can advise further. -- Roger G. Boschman, Therapist.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

I wonder if you sensing her impatience makes it more difficult to get off also? If I'm running late for something and he's still going strong, I know exactly what things to say to him to send him over the edge right then and there....I learned that works over me being impatient and him getting hurt. Maybe you could clue her in on things she says or does that turn you on.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Also UKV keep in mind that longer sex isn't necessarily better sex.

Can you tell us, on average, how long it typically takes for you guys to have a completed sex session? And how long does it, on average, take you to orgasm?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

roger boschman said:


> I suggest that, from all of my study, there may be millions of women around the world who would love to meet you. The man's quick orgasm is the number 1 complaint from women. You will be popular if you can last longer.
> BUT if your wife wants you to hurry up, you need to talk about it. Find out what she wants. Can she come soon and then wait for you? Better still, can she come again, and maybe again?
> 
> I hope she can tell you what she wants. Let me know, soI can advise further. -- Roger G. Boschman, Therapist.


I can't speak for the OP's wife, but cumming for me means about a few to many in a row, and then I'm spent. There is no "again" in that sex session 

My H is a lot like jaquen...he focuses on getting me off, and does a really good job at it, and by all accounts get gets extremely excited to the point where he finishes quickly after I've cum, either by oral or penetration.. then we're both spent.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

My wife will usually have two (one orally, one intercourse) before I'm even close to cumming. But sometimes I feel as if it's going to happen too fast and I let my mind stop it. That does backfire on me sometimes because I can't get back there again. 

She will def come to a point where she's done and wants me to finish. She dries up a bit and the friction starts to hurt. That has a domino effect on me because I notice and it takes me further away. Especially when I know she's not wet as much and getting into it. 

She would rather I just cum when it's ready but I hate not hanging in there longer. Just like thecOP, a man's pride (even under the intention of pleasing our woman) gets in the way.


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## ukv (Jul 6, 2012)

roger boschman said:


> I suggest that, from all of my study, there may be millions of women around the world who would love to meet you. The man's quick orgasm is the number 1 complaint from women. You will be popular if you can last longer.
> BUT if your wife wants you to hurry up, you need to talk about it. Find out what she wants. Can she come soon and then wait for you? Better still, can she come again, and maybe again?
> 
> I hope she can tell you what she wants. Let me know, soI can advise further. -- Roger G. Boschman, Therapist.


Thanks Roger, it gives me a lot of confidence  I have only had sex with my wife and no one else .... she is LD and even talking about sex with her puts her off .... I am the kind of guy who thinks that because I am married I should unreservedly talk about my needs ... however she describes anal and cum in mouth as fetish and scores 1/10 in BJ ....

she wants me to masturbate her and prefers that over penetration .......

I have volunteered to give her oral many times and I think she does not want me to because she thinks she would be obligated to return the favour with same gusto... coz I could e make her cum orally but she could never do that to me because her oral is like the brief 3 minute:
A) suck the tip a little 
B) wipe the tip 
C) stroke my shaft 
D) wait and ask do I want more
E) repeat from A to E again until about 3 minutes are over 

As soon as she orgasms any further movement of my shaft inside her seems to be very painful for her and she pushes me off quickly and I have to masturbate myself to completion with her half hearted support/bored look on her face !!!

Yep I still make myself cum but its not fulfilling ......


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## ukv (Jul 6, 2012)

Cherry said:


> I can't speak for the OP's wife, but cumming for me means about a few to many in a row, and then I'm spent. There is no "again" in that sex session
> 
> My H is a lot like jaquen...he focuses on getting me off, and does a really good job at it, and by all accounts get gets extremely excited to the point where he finishes quickly after I've cum, either by oral or penetration.. then we're both spent.


You are one of those good ones who gives a BJ to your hubby after he has been inside of you and is all covered in yours and a little bit of his juices.... Your husband is really lucky....

My wife would never take my **** in her mouth again after its been inside her even a little.... she even has a problem in me doing her doggy style except at a certain angle of my ****..... coz it is painful for her.... and I am not big - just average at 6 inches....


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

If she starts drying out it can be downright uncomfortable and painful, especially if there is no lube handy and even then, depending on the woman, the arousal is gone. It's only happened to me a few times in my life, when it does, it hurts and becomes very unpleasant. I don't typically use lube because it tends to irritate my girl parts.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

My wife usually has a few orgasms before I do. I always like to time my orgasm shortly after she gets there the last time. However, sometimes she does complain I last too long and wants me to hurry up.

A few years ago, I used to be able to get their pretty quickly when I wanted but would control it until I wanted to. Now, for some reason it's taking me longer to even feel like I can get there. I've always thought it was a good thing too.


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## ukv (Jul 6, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Also UKV keep in mind that longer sex isn't necessarily better sex.
> 
> Can you tell us, on average, how long it typically takes for you guys to have a completed sex session? And how long does it, on average, take you to orgasm?


With all her breaks to talk about how dirty I am to think about cumming in her mouth and wanting her to get over her aversion of my precum and then some other non sexual topic it might take about 30-40 mts average and sometimes we have some argument in between then it might be about 1 hour by which time sometimes I cant orgasm anymore because even though I am hard my loins are in no mood for an orgasm... even through masturbation


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

ukv said:


> Thanks Roger, it gives me a lot of confidence  I have only had sex with my wife and no one else .... she is LD and even talking about sex with her puts her off .... I am the kind of guy who thinks that because I am married I should unreservedly talk about my needs ... however she describes anal and cum in mouth as fetish and scores 1/10 in BJ ....
> 
> she wants me to masturbate her and prefers that over penetration .......
> 
> ...


What a nightmare.

Your problems are far more extensive than how long it takes you to orgasm.

It sounds like you're having sex with a potted plant with an attitude problem.


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## ukv (Jul 6, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> If she starts drying out it can be downright uncomfortable and painful, especially if there is no lube handy and even then, depending on the woman, the arousal is gone. It's only happened to me a few times in my life, when it does, it hurts and becomes very unpleasant. I don't typically use lube because it tends to irritate my girl parts.


She pushes me off quickly off after clamping me tight with her legs after she has go her O.... She couldnt have dried off so quickly but maybe her tissues inside probably become too engorged and tender to the rub caused by my **** maybe.... I dont know but I wish she could ease up to get her next O while I continue....
I remember her not wanting to try it with a lube but will remind myself again next time....


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## roger boschman (Aug 3, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Also UKV keep in mind that longer sex isn't necessarily better sex.
> 
> Can you tell us, on average, how long it typically takes for you guys to have a completed sex session? And how long does it, on average, take you to orgasm?


 For the average guy, sex takes around 6 minutes.Eight or 10 minutes is a long session. That is why millions of women are left high and dry, the man falls asleep, while she stares at the ceiling. They would give anything to have a man keep going 15 minutes. If you can stay longer, you are a precious prize. 

BUT if she needs you to be faster, spend more time making yourself excited before you go in, so you can come sooner. With practice, get really close to your own orgasm before going in. Then you can come sooner for her. Enjoy sex! - Roger G. Boschman, Therapist.


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