# Signs of female orgasm



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Just making sure my gf is enjoying herself to her fullest potential, as this has been in my mind abit. Here are the signs:

- She grasps me or the sheets / or digs fingernails
- Arching her back
- She moans loud/swears
- Her legs shuddering during and moments after
- Becomes very tight
- Very wet / ejaculation? (She's not a squirter)

Apparently she reaches climax 3-6x during a session, during V-day was about 10x. Is she telling the truth? Actually I trust her but I remain unsure if she is reaching her potential as she's not normally very sexually liberated before she met me, making things a little blurry. Advice?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Is this the FWB? I'm glad you two are together.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

GF now, committed relationship.

So I want to make sure I'm actually satisfying her


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

Have you flat our asked her? 

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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yup, and she goes "you can't tell?"

I dunno, maybe I'm just thinking too much as usual


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Just read an article about why women make noise during sex. According to the article most women do it make the guy feel good about his sexual prowess. A good many do it to spur on the man's orgasm. Some do it because of the movies and think it is expected of them. My wife is dead quiet and does not even want me to talk when she is trying to have an orgasm. Only when she orgasms does she let out a scream and then breathes hard. Our girlfriend was a pale skinned Norwegian who turned red when she had an orgasm. 

The best sign I ever got was a former secretary yelling out, "No I know why they call you the boss." I had to suppress my laughter because it sounded like a corny line from a porn movie. She was not saying to advance in the company. I would not sleep with someone I saw every day. It was a going away dinner for me because I was being transferred far away from her. One girl screamed so loud that my wife came into the room to ask who died. I usually go by physical changes in the woman and not what they do. They can fake grabbing sheets or digging nails into your back. They cannot fake how their vagina looks or the blush on the chest that many women get.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> Only when she orgasms does she let out a scream and then breathes hard.


Hmmm, sounds similar, maybe that's a good sign that she's not faking then?

She's also dark-skinned so she doesn't blush, which makes it hard to tell, and either than the wetness I can't tell the difference 'down there' by looking before/after her apparent orgasms. She does tell me she's sore after apparently cumming multiple times and I could feel how tight she gets however they can just say that when they get bored right?


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

All of those things in and of themselves together or otherwise don't necessarily demonstrate that she's had an orgasm. In fact I would be more inclined to think that such a performance is more theatrics than anything else.

*She grasps me or the sheets / or digs fingernails*

One can do that without having an orgasm or even being close to getting one.

*Arching her back*

Theatrics...

*She moans loud/swears*

Plus some more.

*Her legs shuddering during and moments after*

Meh.

On some occasions I've had shuddering legs absent an orgasm and have been with different women who have also sometimes had shuddering legs absent having an orgasm.

*Becomes very tight*

Kegels?

Does the grip get tighter then quickly releases and get tighter with increasing frequency in a pulsing motion. While she is also tilting quite substantially internally around your penis, with a grinding tilting grip?

Even though that can be coincident with the build up and tipping over to orgasm during penis in vagina sex. I wouldn't go as far as presuming a woman has had an orgasm just because of it, since the build up from that perspective feels similar to the release.

*Very wet / ejaculation? (She's not a squirter)*

I've been with a number of women who become dripping wet and one who also "squirts" as such. Yet with all of them such responses have most often been evident before or outside of them having an orgasm.

–––

All of that said if in doubt the best thing you can do, is have your finger up her back passage during her build up to orgasm and through it.

What you will feel through your finger/s (one is sufficient) back there as they approach orgasm. Are a series of extremely fast micro spasms, so think of it as feeling a bit like a vibrator despite a vibrator not being used. Of which if I have my finger/s in a vagina instead I will not feel those micro spasms at all leading up to an orgasm.

Then as the woman gets closer to tipping over, you will feel those micro spasms becoming more frequent. unless she subsequently drifts away getting closer to an orgasm, where they will become less frequent and or stop.

When she does tip over to orgasm those micro spasm, will then turn into a succession of deep shuddering and throbbing pulses that you can feel through her rectum with some puckering as well.

If you feel that through her backdoor when she orgasms, you can be sure she didn't fake it. Absent feeling what I have described above, she's simply doing what she feels is necessary.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Erm... backdoor exit only - for both of us, any other way? =/


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> Erm... backdoor exit only - for both of us, any other way? =/


That being the case (since people can lie or not know better) absent conducting an electroencephalogram or having a magnetic resonance imaging scanner handy, there's no way you will ever know for sure.

Which is why it's so easy for women to fake orgasm, with those who are unaware of or unwilling to do what I suggest.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> Just making sure my gf is enjoying herself to her fullest potential, as this has been in my mind abit. Here are the signs:
> 
> - She grasps me or the sheets / or digs fingernails
> - Arching her back
> ...


So you think she is lying? Sounds as if she enjoys it to me, I think you know.Nor sure why you dont just trust what you see and feel.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Personal said:


> That being the case (since people can lie or not know better) absent conducting an electroencephalogram or having a magnetic resonance imaging scanner handy, there's no way you will ever know for sure.
> 
> Which is why it's so easy for women to fake orgasm, with those who are unaware of or unwilling to do what I suggest.


Nope not going to let my husband do that, nor would he want to, and he doesn't need to. I wouldn't lie to him.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm sure she enjoys it but doesn't mean she reaches orgasm right? Perhaps it's not as important to her as it is to me, but I want to be a good lover, especially to those I care about.

When we were just FWB when she cums once or 10x I didn't care, but now she's my GF I want to blow her mind away =/


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Nope not going to let my husband do that, nor would he want to, and he doesn't need to.


I would feel the same.

If you don't want to do something don't do it.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Vinnydee said:


> They cannot fake how their vagina looks or the blush on the chest that many women get.


That blush and how the vagina looks is also not a reliable tell for orgasm either, I've seen plenty of women that haven't gotten there with the same.

A woman can gush, squirt/pee, get puffy blush, gape, ooze the thicker white stuff or the more translucent stuff with white flecks or none and many other things, yet none of them are always coincident with an orgasm.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

That's the question too, even if we assume that they don't, how do we know that they do? The heck is involved in a female orgasm anyway? It's so mysterious =/


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I told you how you can accurately tell if a woman has an orgasm.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

But my gf's backdoor is not an option! lol


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> But my gf's backdoor is not an option! lol


Well you could just ask her and say you don't think she's really getting there and you'd rather her tell it like it is.

When my wife and I started our sexual relationship, she had been with an experienced guy who kept telling her she had got an orgasm when she hadn't. To the point that she started to doubt herself, then started faking them since she'd given up telling him like it is.

Then she started with me and tried the same fake nonsense on one occasion, since she figured that's what men want and that's what sex is. Yet I didn't believe her, since I knew better and called her on it which ended all of that rubbish.

Sadly my wife isn't the only experienced woman I've been with, that had never had an orgasm through sex before me. So I figure there are lots of men and women who don't know about the backdoor tell or won't try it if they do know about it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well quite frankly I don't know, I suspect that she's not because of a variety of reasons, the first is due to coming from a more conservative culture, hence less sexually liberated, the second is because she orgasms very fast compared to other women like ex-wife, where it takes at least around half an hour to reach her first proper orgasm, but with GF she reaches that in 5 minutes, she slows down the pace in subsequent orgasms but 5 minutes is a little too fast which makes me suspect.

I don't think she's lying intentionally, more likely she may not even know her own body. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much. I don't know. Discussing it with her is difficult because she's very adamant that she reaches orgasms and offended/confused that I don't believe her.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

If having that conversation is not on the table and you can't test it, you're going to have to decide whether you believe her or whether you'll accept it if you don't.

That said I wouldn't presume she has any ill intent towards you at all if she is faking or embellishing a bit.

As to the timing for orgasms, 5 minutes is not unknown, and matches my experience with some women on some occasions including my wife.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

I think you should just put it out there that you're willing to do whatever you can to help her reach O and you get major satisfaction from it and leave it at that. As the relationship gets older if she is indeed pretending, she'll probably get sick of never truly reaching O and bring up the issue somehow.

If you keep asking her and she is indeed pretending and won't admit it, you'll just put even more pressure on her to cum. That's not going to help her cum. Ease up and just keep observing her and her body. Create a safe environment, free of judgement so that she can feel comfortable talking about sexual issues such as these. For whatever reason, we women find it incredibly difficult to discuss problems with sex with our partners. Don't make it any more difficult for her than it already is.


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## SilentLucidity (Feb 17, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> GF now, committed relationship.
> 
> So I want to make sure I'm actually satisfying her


Sounds like your doing a great job to me

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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> I'm sure she enjoys it but doesn't mean she reaches orgasm right? Perhaps it's not as important to her as it is to me, but I want to be a good lover, especially to those I care about.
> 
> When we were just FWB when she cums once or 10x I didn't care, but now she's my GF I want to blow her mind away =/


Stop worrying about it, if she says she enjoys it then why doubt her?


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

This is a funny thread. It's her job to ask for what she needs if she isn't getting it, with all those theatrics if she isn't actually getting there it is her loss. Stop worrying about it


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

According to "experts" on a documentary if a woman orgasams, her nipples have to be hard and her toes have to curl one way or the other.

In my experience this turns out to be true. It is possible for this to happen any way but if it isn't happening she can't be climaxing. Men's toes curl too.

It was explained to be like sneezing, supposedly the nearest thing. One cannot sneeze with open eyes. So they said.

It must be hard to watch their feet though in most positions haha. Maybe you could lay beside her and rub one out for her and watch her toes and see if she is faking.

This is secret information so don't spread it around.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> I dunno, maybe I'm just thinking too much as usual


If so, then why do you suppose that is?

Possibilities I can imagine:


You value her pleasure, as an end in itself. Her joy is your joy.
If she is misleading herself and you about this, then distance and dissatisfaction will grow. It is extremely important she be able to speak only truth to you, even when she fears it is not what you want to hear. There is commitment from you to hear the truth, and that she will still matter once heard. 
You feel like less of a man, or at least less like her man, if what you have earnestly tried isn't doing it for her.
You have other worries, but you've stuffed them down. But the pressure builds and anxiety starts to surface, especially when you are at your most intimate and vulnerable (sex), and your conscious mind, unable to see the true source, looks for flaws in her sexual response or your sexual stimulus, and being eager to find an explanation finds one even when it is not there.

If it is any combination of those, then at the root of your concern is a desire to be more genuinely and deeply connected to her. If you talk about this matter at all with her -- and why wouldn't it be important to talk with her about this? -- emphasize that is where you are coming from. Otherwise, it'll become a wedge leveraged in your hearts by your subconscious and hers to make that anxiety go away (by making the possibility, if not the desire, for genuine connection to go away).


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Some women orgasm quickly. My fiance can get me there pretty quickly, on some days. 

I don't think it's healthy to compare her or women in general, to your ex wife. Quite a few threads on here where OP's are bringing up their exes when comparing to new people... which makes me wonder if some of you are truly over your exes? Just an observation, but your ex wife and how long it took her to O, should have nothing to do with this new relationship, and that could be why you're inventing things to be worried over with this new gf.


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## rafaelandy (May 8, 2013)

believe it or not, i had an ex who would softly moan when she's nearing climax, then she would suddenly try to push me away when she reaches orgasm. one time, i fell from the bed when she yanked me off. we had a good laugh after she regained her senses.

when asked why she does it, she says she doesn't know she does that, as if she loses control of herself. she says she feels so vulnerable and helpless during orgasm, so probably it's a "subconscious" behavior to protect herself from that vulnerability.

some of them, i observed, had their slightly closed eyes rolled-up when reaching climax (combined with "tightening", muscle spasms, tight embrace, legs tightly clamped around my hips, etc.)

that being said, yes, women can and do "fake" their orgasms. and as one poster said - it's their loss if they always fake it.

no offense to the ladies...


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

don't worry about how quick she gets there, just like with men the amount of time it takes a woman varies greatly. My wife usually takes about 20 minutes of foreplay/sex combined to orgasm. But if she is already super turned on she may go in under a minute the first time. I've seen her have 3 in under 10 minutes, but also seen her say just forget it after over an hour with no success. While orgasm is a nice release, the real important thing is that both of you connect and have a great time. When you make orgasm the overwhelming goal everytime I can almost guarantee you will fail more often than not. Learn her body, her likes, her needs, and show her the sex is about her. She will get the most out of the experience knowing your sole focus is on her. 


I'm not saying she shouldn't orgasm, I'm saying you shouldn't obsess over if she did or not.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I've heard about and read about so much faking and mystery around women orgasming
that it remains an enigma to me. Even on this site, there is no magic potion or consistent
agreement.

but as most others are saying around here, communicate, be unselfish (not totally)
be open to your partners needs, and if the feedback and signs are all there, dont over worry about it.

As for my wife, I asked her early on if she was orgasming, even though all the signs were there.
she couldn't give me a resounding yah! Which I think accentuates part of the problem.
many woman are not sure themselves? I quit worrying after my wife started inititiating more than me
and expressses pleasure and always wants more after almost 4 years.

I mean, other than trying to be very conscious of their reaction and desire for sex, what else can a guy do?
I think guys after a while intuitively know if she doesn't like it, but there's always that nagging doubt.

maybe this all is just meant to keep men on their toes


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Listen I can have an orgasm and be completely quite and still if I wanted to. But when I have an orgasm I like to let go, relax and enjoy, I also like to make sure my husband knows I'm satisfied so I maybe exaggerate a little. I will never fake an orgasm, if it feels good I want to make sure to convey that on the outside. Just like I appreciate him doing the same thing to me. There is nothing more awkward then giving a bj to a man trying to keep in his enjoyment. It makes us feel good to know we are satisfying you. It makes me want to give more bjs. Same thing to men with women.

There are women who fake orgasms. It's impossible to know the truth. Only the person knows, unless they tell you and of course you can't prove anything. 

I think women having trouble orgasming during piv sex is more common than women having multi orgasms during piv sex. But it happens.

Your focusing on all these "signs" that she's having orgasms. But the truth is, it could be fake or not. There is no way to tell.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

anonmd said:


> This is a funny thread. It's her job to ask for what she needs if she isn't getting it, with all those theatrics if she isn't actually getting there it is her loss. Stop worrying about it




I agree lol. But then you start to think... why are you faking? Why so much drama and theatrics? I find it weird lol. That "fakeness" or need to please or whatever it is, is a turn off.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

katiecrna said:


> Your focusing on all these "signs" that she's having orgasms. But the truth is, it could be fake or not. There is no way to tell.


As explained earlier in this discussion, there is a way to tell.

If you don't believe me ask your husband to have his finger in your backside before you orgasm. Then have him keep it there till after you orgasm and ask then him to tell you what it felt like, before during and after.

I found this out for myself when I noticed the difference, with my ex-wife whom I lost my virginty with. And it has been the same for all of the woman I have done this with after her, regardless of their nationality, race, cultural background, height build and age.

That said since I'm not the only one who has experienced this or knows about this, I'm surprised that it isn't common knowledge/experience amongst all who are participating in this discussion.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Heh ok guys, think I'll relax about this, I should stop comparing her, and like everyone said, it's her loss if she's faking it.

And LOL personal, it's probably isn't common knowledge/experience because many people's backdoors are exit only :rofl:


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

Personal said:


> Well you could just ask her and say you don't think she's really getting there and you'd rather her tell it like it is.
> 
> When my wife and I started our sexual relationship, she had been with an experienced guy who kept telling her she had got an orgasm when she hadn't. To the point that she started to doubt herself, then started faking them since she'd given up telling him like it is.
> 
> ...


People need to be eased in to this sort of thing. Of course once you open pandoras box it's hard to close it. 

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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

I've told former partners, "I don't fake it, and I won't tell you that I came when I didn't. If I'm happy in bed, I'm noisy. I can't help it. If you have to ask, or are wondering if I came, I probably didn't and you should keep going. When/if I orgasm, there should be no doubt in your mind." Real Estate will sometimes ask me how many times I climaxed... I tell him that after 3 or 4 times, my brain isn't capable of counting anymore, and sometimes the multiples just roll into one big, long orgasm that simply has waves instead or clear stops and starts.

If you know she doesn't lie or doesn't fake it, I would say that all the things mentioned in the OP are a pretty good sign.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Watch her masturbate.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

Another good sign to look out for is if she calls out your name but can't remember her own.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> Watch her masturbate.


This isn't always the best indicator. For me, self-stimulated orgasms are very different than those stimulated by a partner.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Vinnydee said:


> *Just read an article about why women make noise during sex. According to the article most women do it make the guy feel good about his sexual prowess. A good many do it to spur on the man's orgasm. Some do it because of the movies and think it is expected of them*. My wife is dead quiet and does not even want me to talk when she is trying to have an orgasm. Only when she orgasms does she let out a scream and then breathes hard. Our girlfriend was a pale skinned Norwegian who turned red when she had an orgasm.
> 
> The best sign I ever got was a former secretary yelling out, "No I know why they call you the boss." I had to suppress my laughter because it sounded like a corny line from a porn movie. She was not saying to advance in the company. I would not sleep with someone I saw every day. It was a going away dinner for me because I was being transferred far away from her. One girl screamed so loud that my wife came into the room to ask who died. I usually go by physical changes in the woman and not what they do. They can fake grabbing sheets or digging nails into your back. They cannot fake how their vagina looks or the blush on the chest that many women get.


Oh dear, who writes these "articles" and why do people buy into them?

So let me ask why do men make noise during sex? Is it to pander to their partners feelings about her sexual prowess?
Is it to spur the woman to orgasm?
Or is it because they see it in the movies and think it is expected of them?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

FeministInPink said:


> I've told former partners, "I don't fake it, and I won't tell you that I came when I didn't. If I'm happy in bed, I'm noisy. I can't help it. If you have to ask, or are wondering if I came, I probably didn't and you should keep going. When/if I orgasm, there should be no doubt in your mind." Real Estate will sometimes ask me how many times I climaxed... *I tell him that after 3 or 4 times, my brain isn't capable of counting anymore, and sometimes the multiples just roll into one big, long orgasm that simply has waves instead or clear stops and starts.*
> 
> If you know she doesn't lie or doesn't fake it, I would say that all the things mentioned in the OP are a pretty good sign.


Hmmm... explains why sometimes when I ask her she says "she doesn't know"


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Hmmm... explains why sometimes when I ask her she says "she doesn't know"


It's like, when someone asks me what I like, it's hard for me to answer... if Real Estate is doing something that I really like, there's no way in hell that I could describe what he was doing to me at the time, because I'm totally focused on the feeling and the sensation. I have no idea what he's doing, all I know is that it feels amazing and I hope that he will do it again in the future. If I have my wits about me, I'll say, "I don't know what you're doing, but it feels amazing, so remember it for next time." Usually, he obliges. However, there was that one time that he gave me a play-by-play and we named a lot of the "moves"... funny, I still don't remember what exactly he was doing, but if he mentions "the handshake" I'll giggle because I remember exactly how it made me _feel_.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Getting close to a decade with the same person, and I still have a hard time figuring it out. I have little doubt she's having them, but they're not always the same, if that makes sense.

The longer I've been with her, the more I'm understanding she has a series of little ones, as opposed to one big, satisfying one. She's multi-multi orgasmic, but I don't think they're _good_... I think she has several of those per session until she's tired out, and, while satisfied, isn't _satisfied_.

But every now and again she has that one big, good orgasm, and she glows. I can feel her contracting, her entire body gets tense and she bucks into me. I can tell she's in a different world for 30 seconds or so. Afterwards, she's much more close with me, and the glow seems to last a while. If she doesn't orgasm like that, that closeness isn't there.

There's no rhyme or reason for it that I (or she) knows about - it just seems to happen once in a while. The rest of the time, she has, as I said, a series of little ones. She's not unhappy or disappointed, but I clearly didn't rock her world either.

As she doesn't talk about sex unless I bring it up (and even then...) I can't get a good idea of how or why she only has these types of orgasms once in a while. I don't think SHE knows. And because sex isn't really all that important to her, I don't think she cares, TBH. She knows I'm open to critique and I can take direction, but she's only ever really given it to me once or twice.

But I'm wise enough to know that I can only do so much with what I'm given. IF she's faking the little ones, that's her prerogative. It's in the back of my mind sometimes. But I generally don't think she does, or has. I've always been clear that there's no need for that kind of thing, that my ego doesn't require it, and that I'd much rather learn to satisfy her than go through our marriage thinking I am, but not actually doing so.

But two things tend to stick out in my mind, and plant a small seed of doubt every now and again. One, she's not a sexual person. It's unimportant to her, and she's never truly taken the time to get to know herself or her body. What she's learned has been through experience over the years, not from her own personal experimentation. And she hasn't exactly imparted any of her experiential wisdom upon me, which is a shame. If one has been with x-number of people, and a few of them have been good, then one should be able to figure out why they were good, as opposed to the others who were not good, or who didn't stand out. Then you can tell your current partner what you like, or at least guide them that way.

Instead, I get the impression that she just takes what she's given, so to speak, and if it happens to work (or not work) then so be it. She once told me that her ex, before me, would be done in 2 or 3 minutes, and that it was always the same. 10 seconds of this, in it goes, hammer away, finish. Every single time, for years (she told me this as a way of complementing me, because I actually spend time on her, and she wasn't used to that, I guess). My response (apart from thanks) was "and did you ever speak to him about that?" Of course her answer was "well... no".


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Really the only answer is that women have to let their partners know what they like, and their partners need to be eager to please. 

The same to some extent applies to men. Its obvious when men O, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was particularly good.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

If you ask her and yet you doubt her answer is truthful, then you may not be with the right partner or ready for a partner. It means you either picked someone who is not truthful or you are not able to trust people. Either way, there's a problem with you or her or both.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

I have been avoiding responding to this one, but here goes.

Dear RandomDude;

(1) The best sex is relaxed, playful and exploratory. The kind where if something doesn't go as planned you can both laugh about it. (That includes orgasms.)

(2) Putting too much emphasis on each sexual act between two people in a committed relationship adds to performance anxiety for each of them. This is something that can produce all kinds of bad results (faking orgasms, PE, etc.) It is not like the moment the two of you are done she is going to pull out some rating cards (think of Olympics where scores of 1.0 to 9.9) are flashed immediately after your performance.

(3) If she says she is having fun, believe her and enjoy her and her pleasure and stop asking her all the time. Asking her all the time, is showing her that you are not confident (which isn't sexy) and that you need reinforcement for a "job well done" (she wants a confident lover and not a pet that always is seeking approval.) 

(4) Sometimes you will not be able to tell if she has orgasmed, sometimes you can tell. For my wife the clues are extended rhythmic vaginal contractions followed by clitoral sensitivity and desire to just be held quitely for a little while. 

Do I want my wife of 45+ years to orgasm? Absolutely. 

Does it happen all the time? NOPE. Does it happen a lot of the time? Yes. 

When we have discussed this, she knows that sometime she just can't relax enough or clear her mind enough to orgasm and yes she loves the stimulation, feeling close to me, and above all her knowing she can pleasure me. 

So the point is enjoy each other and don't worry about the details.

Good luck


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

There is no real way to tell. On an average romp I'd say I orgasm 2-4 times during. I moan loudly and it's not for his benefit, it just kind of escapes my throat I guess? Very guttural. And my legs definitely vibrate a bit haha! But my H just knows. He knows my body probably a little too well and says he can feel the pulses as they ripple down. I've tested his acxuracy, and he's spot on. So trust your gut!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Saibasu said:


> There is no real way to tell.


Sigh...

If you have a finger inside a woman's rectum when she has an orgasm you can learn to tell every single time guaranteed.



Personal said:


> What you will feel through your finger/s (one is sufficient) back there as they approach orgasm. Are a series of extremely fast micro spasms, so think of it as feeling a bit like a vibrator despite a vibrator not being used. Of which if I have my finger/s in a vagina instead I will not feel those micro spasms at all leading up to an orgasm.
> 
> Then as the woman gets closer to tipping over, you will feel those micro spasms becoming more frequent. unless she subsequently drifts away getting closer to an orgasm, where they will become less frequent and or stop.
> 
> When she does tip over to orgasm those micro spasm, will then turn into a succession of deep shuddering and throbbing pulses that you can feel through her rectum with some puckering as well.


If one doesn't feel that and the woman tells you she has had an orgasm, she is either lying or hasn't a clue.


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

Personal said:


> Sigh...
> 
> If you have a finger inside a woman's rectum when she has an orgasm you can learn to tell every single time guaranteed.
> 
> ...


Well yes in that respect you can tell. But if the OP is here looking for ways to figure out if his woman is really orgasming then he obviously doesn't want his partner to know that he isn't sure if she is. A random "hey baby, mind if I stick my finger up your ass while you O" will surely elicit questions from his partner, questions he seems to be uncomfortable asking her straight out.

>


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Saibasu said:


> A random "hey baby, mind if I stick my finger up your ass while you O" will surely elicit questions from his partner, questions he seems to be uncomfortable asking her straight out.


I don't recommend that ill considered approach either.

Not being able to address this with open conversation, points to larger problems.


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

Personal said:


> I don't recommend that ill considered approach either.
> 
> Not being able to address this with open conversation, points to larger problems.


Oh absolutely. I agree, there seems to be deeper issues here rather than just wanting to know if she really orgasms.


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## bbad (Feb 11, 2017)

alexm said:


> Getting close to a decade with the same person, and I still have a hard time figuring it out. I have little doubt she's having them, but they're not always the same, if that makes sense.
> 
> The longer I've been with her, the more I'm understanding she has a series of little ones, as opposed to one big, satisfying one. She's multi-multi orgasmic, but I don't think they're _good_... I think she has several of those per session until she's tired out, and, while satisfied, isn't _satisfied_.
> 
> ...


Thank you for this post. I feel like I am in a very similar situation. My wife rarely talks about sex and it's always me who feels like she doesn't have total orgasm, and that puts pressure on me and makes our sex even worse. Now I remember every now and then when I did oral to her, it looked like she wanted to push me away but at the same time wanted me to be there and do it again. I am her first and only one so clearly she can't compare and thus doesn't really know her feeling. I haven't experience her contraction inside or shaking legs etc, tut it seems to me that "push away and pull back at the same time" is a kind of good orgasm.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

Personal said:


> Sigh...
> 
> If you have a finger inside a woman's rectum when she has an orgasm you can learn to tell every single time guaranteed.
> 
> ...



Are you 100% sure this is true? You absolutely always have your finger there when your woman orgasms and not only is there no possibility of an exception, you are absolutely certain this is generalizable to each and every woman each and every time, with not even the remotest chance of faking it?

Just curious how deep the proof for this goes.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I realize women can fake these too if they want, but there are specific signs you can look for. For one, vaginal contractions. A second is tightening of the stomach muscles. Another is holding her breath or breathing hard. Tensing of her toes or flaring of the nostrils is another. But, really, just ask. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

wild jade said:


> Are you 100% sure this is true? You absolutely always have your finger there when your woman orgasms and not only is there no possibility of an exception, you are absolutely certain this is generalizable to each and every woman each and every time, with not even the remotest chance of faking it?
> 
> Just curious how deep the proof for this goes.


As a general thing with women, yes I am certain that I (and others) can tell each and every time if I (they) have a finger or fingers in there at the time of orgasm.

That said I certainly haven't and don't always have my finger there, when my wife or previous partners have orgasmed.

As it turns out what I have been describing is the pelvic contractions that occur with orgasm as felt through the rectum.

Apparently anal and vaginal contraction waveforms during orgasm are synchronised, while anal pressure has a higher resting baseline and greater amplitude than vaginal pressure as well. Which explains why those contractions feel very strong through my finger when inserted anally, versus why it is not always discernible with a finger inside the vagina.

Until you asked I hadn't looked it up, since I was just going by my own experience with a variety of different women who I did/do this with. Who were variously from different ethnic and or racial groups, different nationalities, heights, weights, ages, pregnant, never been pregnant, had kids, breastfeeding, virgins and not virgins at the time.

Yet in all cases that particular pulsing was only coincident with orgasm and was not present otherwise regardless of who my partner was. Plus it largely felt the same regardless of who, when, where and how they orgasmed.

In the first instance I found this out with my first wife (who was my first sexual partner), since we naturally tried all sorts of things, that mostly came through our imagination.

Then after my first wife and I had been legally separated for circa six months pending divorce, I had sex for the first time with another woman at a party. Where I had my finger in her backside while I gave her oral till she had an orgasm. As a consequence of that I realised this was a female orgasm thing rather than just a thing with my ex-wife.

So from that point on, I did this with the majority of the women I have been with. Which wasn't hard, since, after a short while I got a feel for who's keen for things versus those who weren't. Combine that with talking about this stuff directly, and choosing women who weren't/ aren't particularly inhibited. Anal play, anal sex and much more just wasn't a big deal.

So for me It's not about checking to see if a woman has had an orgasm (which you can tell), it's just something that I sometimes apply during oral sex in order to help me to get them there before they get bored with an interminable tongue lashing to no end.

In looking this up I found some others who know what I'm talking about.

*Plentyoffish*


> *Why do men want to finger your behind?*
> Posted: 11/26/2008 12:39:46 PM
> almost every woman can fake an orgasm ..unless I have a finger in her butt... there';s no faking the pulsating convulsions of a woman's bung hole when she cums..not that i suspect any of my lovers are faking


*Quora*


> *How can you tell if a woman has had an orgasm?*
> You probably don't have the option to wire her up to a heart monitor or EEG, but if she's into anal and you feel you just have to know if an orgasm is real, try inserting a fingertip beforehand and see if you can feel the anal pulsations when she comes.


While I also found the following study, which I have not read except for the abstract and excerpts as posted by someone else on some blog called SSL here.

*The female orgasm: Pelvic contractions*
Archives of Sexual Behavior 11(5):367-86 · November 1982
Bohlen JG, Held JP, Sanderson MO, Ahlgren A.



> *Abstract*
> 
> Eleven nulliparous women manually self-stimulated to orgasm, each on three separate occasions. Pelvic contraction pressure was measured by an anal probe and a vaginal probe simultaneously. Near the perceived start of orgasm, a series of regular contractions began in nine of the women. Anal and vaginal contraction waveforms were synchronized with each other, and the same number of orgasmic contractions occurred in each lumen. Anal pressure had a higher resting baseline and greater amplitude contractions than vaginal pressure. The perceived start of orgasm did not correspond precisely with the onset of regular contractions. Mean intercontraction intervals increased linearly at an increment of about 0.1 second through the series of regular contractions. Amplitudes of contraction pressure waveforms, representing pelvic muscular force, were initially low, increased through the first half of the regular series, and then decreased. Area and net area of the pressure waveforms, reflecting pelvic muscular exertion (force x time), increased during the regular orgasmic contractions. Three of the women's orgasms consistently included only a series of regular contractions (orgasm type I). For six other women, orgasms consistently continued beyond the regular series with additional irregular contractions (orgasm type II). Types I and II had been identified previously in men. Two women had no regular contractions during reported orgasms. This pattern, type IV, had not been recorded in men. Women of different types showed marked differences in orgasm duration and number of contractions. Identification of these types in subjects is important for meaningful comparison of contraction parameters in different studies.


My own sample size of testing this occurrence, is greater than the number of women who they studied.

From that experience I think it is extremely likely that the two women in the above mentioned study who did not have a physiological response, didn't actually achieve orgasm.

:bunny:


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

bbad said:


> I am her first and only one so clearly she can't compare and thus doesn't really know her feeling.


Well, that's not entirely true. Even if she hasn't had intercourse with someone else before, surely she's experimented on her own, if not done other things with partners prior to you. PIV isn't the be-all, end-all of sex or the only way to achieve orgasm.

My ex wife never achieved orgasm with anybody, including me, well into our relationship, and she had 4 or 5 partners, plus another 5 or 6 that she didn't have intercourse with. All of them were short term relationships, or even one-offs. She probably had sex 20 or 30 times before we started dating (total guesstimate). Over almost 14 years with her, we probably had sex ~1200 times, plus or minus. So experience, or lack of, is very relative, and the # of partners can have little to no effect, in all honesty. My ex wife didn't know **** when we started dating. Well, she knew the basics, but we truly learned together, over the course of several years. Our previous meagre experiences meant very little. You could have had 20 partners, but only had sex 20 times. Hell, I've had regular sex for 25 years now. We'll say ~2000 times (1.5 times a week for 25 years, more or less). 1996 of those times have been with 2 partners. The other 4 times were with 3 different women, 2 of them once each, 1 of them twice.

Most people learn about sex on their own, and/or with long term partners- especially the latter.

I wouldn't worry that much about it, if I were you. As long as you both continue to try new things and experiment a little to see what works.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Personal said:


> My own sample size of testing this occurrence, is greater than the number of women who they studied.
> 
> From that experience I think it is extremely likely that the two women in the above mentioned study who did not have a physiological response, didn't actually achieve orgasm.
> 
> :bunny:


I dunno man. I'm not outright disagreeing, but at the same time, the female orgasm comes in many different flavors, AFAIK. One of them includes pelvic contractions.

Men are much simpler - we all orgasm the same way (again, AFAIK). With women, there are multiple ways to achieve orgasm, and from what I understand (mainly through TAM experience!) they can vary. Clitoral vs. PIV vs. gspot, for example - all generating different 'types' of release/orgasm. Most women seem to have a preference, those who can orgasm from multiple ways. My wife can orgasm from oral, manual, gspot, as well as anal only, but she much prefers PIV. If and when she orgasms from any of the above, often multiple times, she still wants a PIV orgasm. She also doesn't always have pelvic contractions. When she does, it's clearly a better orgasm (I don't have to ask her about that, it's visible!) but I have little to no doubt that she did, in fact, orgasm. Just not an earth-shattering one. 

There are, of course, women who can orgasm from anal sex, nipple/breast stimulation, or even without being touched at all (ie. while giving oral sex).

Men can also orgasm from contact with the prostate only, and it's apparently somewhat different than the orgasm achieved from other means.

Basically, orgasms are not one-size-fits-all, IMO and IME.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

Personal said:


> As a general thing with women, yes I am certain that I (and others) can tell each and every time if I (they) have a finger or fingers in there at the time of orgasm.
> 
> That said I certainly haven't and don't always have my finger there, when my wife or previous partners have orgasmed.
> 
> ...


Awesome answer! 

Yes, the pelvic contractions are a key part of orgasm, and can also be felt through the vaginal walls. 

It also means, though, that a woman could actually fake it if she really wanted to. (Not recommending it, just saying that like any other muscular contraction this too can be faked).

I'd also be cautious about making too many assumptions about the experience of the women in the study. Even I as just one woman have experienced a huge variety in number of contractions and duration, depending on the quality and run up to that orgasm. The real way to tell is an MRI, as the brain response is apparently completely distinctive. 

Unfortunately, not really a workable solution for the OP .


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Not sure why this is even a concern ...

Anyway, if you really need to know just watch porn closely so you know exactly what to look out for ...


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

alexm said:


> I dunno man. I'm not outright disagreeing, but at the same time, the female orgasm comes in many different flavors, AFAIK. One of them includes pelvic contractions.
> 
> Men are much simpler - we all orgasm the same way (again, AFAIK).


Men too have different types of orgasm. Different numbers of contractions, different durations, with and without ejaculate, multiples ...


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

wild jade said:


> Men too have different types of orgasm. Different numbers of contractions, different durations, with and without ejaculate, multiples ...


Yes and no 

I think if you ask any man, they'll tell you their orgasms are all basically the same, with a variance in the... I dunno... power? of it.

There have been times where I've been ridiculously turned on and the end result was... meh. And there have been times where I've been less excited (but still excited!) and the end result was fireworks and rainbows.

But (for me at least) they're all generally the same, with the only variance being how powerful it was, or wasn't. Doesn't really matter how I get there, either. Though, I have to say I've never attempted or experienced a prostate massage, which I understand can produce an orgasm without touching the actual penis. I hear those are different.

As far as I understand it, women have multiple ways of achieving orgasm, which can result in 'different' orgasms. I don't imagine all women are the same in this regard of course, but nonetheless.

My wife will wholeheartedly agree with this. She has three main ways of reaching orgasm - oral/manual/vibrator clitoral stimulation, PIV, manual gspot stimulation. She has also reached orgasm from anal penetration only, but this is not part of our repertoire, and was merely an experimental phase we went through a while ago.

She will tell you that each of those orgasms are vastly different from each other, that they are not the same at all. I have heard other women make this statement as well. YMMV of course 

In addition, I have heard of women who can orgasm from breast/nipple stimulation only (my wife almost did once, and we never were able to replicate it again, though we didn't try that hard TBH) and a rare few who can orgasm from mental stimulation (which seems to happen most commonly while engaged in sexual activity, but not being touched themselves, ie. giving oral sex).

Obviously I'm a man, so I can't tell you you're wrong ( :surprise: ) however it doesn't jive at all with my own experiences, as well as second- and third-hand information.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

All I know is that I've known men to orgasm both with and without ejaculate, to have orgasms that varied incredibly in duration and number of contractions, to ask for very different types of stimulation because it changes the orgasmic experience, to practice tantra and other exercises so that they can experience multiples, and yet further variety.

Yes, I agree that women experience quite a bit of variety in their experiences. But from what I've seen, the variety that men experience is at least on par with mine.

And basically, an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/body-sense/201004/male-and-female-orgasm-not-so-different


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

alexm said:


> I dunno man. I'm not outright disagreeing, but


Don't take my word for it, actually test it for yourself.

If you don't believe me, stick your finger up your wife's backside till after she orgasms while giving her oral.

Absent testing this you have no idea.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Personal said:


> Don't take my word for it, actually test it for yourself.
> 
> If you don't believe me, stick your finger up your wife's backside till after she orgasms while giving her oral.
> 
> Absent testing this you have no idea.


Agreed. 100%

I know this is an old thread, but I felt compelled to add my.02. To the best of my knowledge this is the only reliable way of knowing if your woman had the "O". 

Physiologist know this a function of the human body and in many cases the body of any mammal. Ask your veterinarian or animal husbandry specialist. While the response it very similar in many male mammals, the variations found in the different female mammalian species has led to some disagreement. 

In short ladies, help us help you. 
If in doubt, finger it out.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

*Deidre* said:


> Some women orgasm quickly. My fiance can get me there pretty quickly, on some days.
> 
> I don't think it's healthy to compare her or women in general, to your ex wife. Quite a few threads on here where OP's are bringing up their exes when comparing to new people... which makes me wonder if some of you are truly over your exes? Just an observation, but your ex wife and how long it took her to O, should have nothing to do with this new relationship, and that could be why you're inventing things to be worried over with this new gf.



Thank god, the voice of reason!

Every woman is different. Some can come quickly, some take longer, some make noise, some do not...

One thing I do with my partner is discuss what what each of us likes in bed, and then practice that...and talk about it during, after, etc. I would never fake an orgasm with her. She told me today that she's never been encouraged to talk about sex before, and that she believes it's a big part of why our sex life is so incredible. 
Sex is supposed to be fun.

As Deidre mentions, how your ex wife climaxed really has nothing to do with your new gf. I have never met two women who orgasm the same way, from the same things.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

I haven't read the thread so I apologise if I am repeating anything. When I orgasm my genitals go very hard (inner lips and clitoris - they are very enlarged and have a rubbery feeling). My husband has remarked upon it so it is fairly noticeable. It last for less than 1- seconds. Obviously nips are rock hard too and I have sweat pouring from me (even if I haven't exerted myself - orgasms make me sweat profusely). 

HTH


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I studied my wife for years. When I was in pre-med I studied female orgasms. Then I palpated a chosen muscle to detect involuntary muscle spasms during orgasm. Sometimes her uterus would spasm during orgasm, other times it would not.

I learned my wife was a very naughty little girl. Once I learned she was in fact occasionally faking it, I chastised her severely, and forced her to open up to me about why. Wow, the things I learned scorched the walls of the house. She subsequently learned to have many orgasms any time she wanted them.

There, edited. While I would not have thought of any other interpretation.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

WilliamM said:


> I learned my little girl was a very naughty little girl. Once I learned she was faking it sometimes I blasted her, chastised her severely, and forced her to open up to me about why. Wow, the things I learned scorched the walls of the house. She subsequently learned to have many orgasms any time she wanted them.


I hope you are not referring to a daughter or any other child.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

WilliamM said:


> I learned my little girl was a very naughty little girl. Once I learned she was in fact occasionally faking it, I chastised her severely, and forced her to open up to me about why. Wow, the things I learned scorched the walls of the house. She subsequently learned to have many orgasms any time she wanted them.


:|


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife is my little girl. Is yours not yours?

I had thought there could be no other possible interpretation given the context and the mention of my wife as the subject in question in the first paragraph. Odd.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

WilliamM said:


> My wife is my little girl. Is yours not yours?


No, my wife is a woman. 

Is your wife a child?


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife is certainly a child at heart. A pixie girl, dancing in the woods. A lithe fleeting glint of moonlight with hair streaming behind her as she flits by.

She prefers to be called a girl, too. Is this not acceptable here? Is there a PC crew which polices the posts for endearments which others may deem demeaning? Such as calling ones Significant Other their "baby?" 

If calling my wife my girl, or even my little girl, is considered so taboo as to be unacceptable, I suppose I may as well not post.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

@WilliamM

I asked for clarification, since what you wrote wasn't clear.

Since some participants on TAM come from different cultures, some may be married to a child and or are children at some point when married?

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't post at all.

All the best.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

All good William


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

The thickness of the vaginal secretions changes and the taste changes during orgasm. The ejaculate when she squirts is a dead giveaway. It tastes salty as well but different.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Taxman said:


> The thickness of the vaginal secretions changes and the taste changes during orgasm. The ejaculate when she squirts is a dead giveaway. It tastes salty as well but different.


Having experience of this I can assure you squirting is not always coincident with orgasm at all, therefore it is not a dead giveaway.

As to all of that thickness change etc and all the rest, that occurs as a woman gets closer, so again it is not coincident with having an orgasm.

If you really want to know with absolute certainty, have your finger inside a woman's backside before, through and after she has an orgasm.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Personal said:


> Having experience of this I can assure you squirting is not always coincident with orgasm at all, therefore it is not a dead giveaway.
> 
> As to all of that thickness change etc and all the rest, that occurs as a woman gets closer, so again it is not coincident with having an orgasm.
> 
> If you really want to know with absolute certainty, have your finger inside a woman's backside before, through and after she has an orgasm.


O shoot, now I need to go stick my finger in my butt. Never heard of this, need to test it out.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Personal said:


> Having experience of this I can assure you squirting is not always coincident with orgasm at all, therefore it is not a dead giveaway.
> 
> As to all of that thickness change etc and all the rest, that occurs as a woman gets closer, so again it is not coincident with having an orgasm.
> 
> If you really want to know with absolute certainty, have your finger inside a woman's backside before, through and after she has an orgasm.


I think its sad that so many here are so unsure about their wife/partners honesty they feel they must take such drastic action to make sure. If you are lying to each other that doesn't bode well. 
I dont need a finger up my backside.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

Taxman said:


> The thickness of the vaginal secretions changes and the taste changes during orgasm. The ejaculate when she squirts is a dead giveaway. It tastes salty as well but different.


Oh my god, this made me laugh so hard! Thanks for the entertainment.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Keke24 said:


> O shoot, now I need to go stick my finger in my butt. Never heard of this, need to test it out.


You don't need to, it's not like you don't know when it happens for you. :wink2:

I found this out by accident when I was 17, with my first sexual partner when I was giving her oral sex and I had my finger back there.

If you can get your partner to do this, you should enjoy where that knowledge will take you.



Personal said:


> What you will feel through your finger/s (one is sufficient) back there as they approach orgasm. Are a series of extremely fast micro spasms, so think of it as feeling a bit like a vibrator despite a vibrator not being used. Of which if I have my finger/s in a vagina instead I will not feel those micro spasms at all leading up to an orgasm.
> 
> Then as the woman gets closer to tipping over, you will feel those micro spasms becoming more frequent. unless she subsequently drifts away getting closer to an orgasm, where they will become less frequent and or stop.
> 
> When she does tip over to orgasm those micro spasm, will then turn into a succession of deep shuddering and throbbing pulses that you can feel through her rectum with some puckering as well.


Today I will often though not always do this as a guide, to get my wife to have an orgasm within a couple of minutes. Plus she also really likes it "wow", when I sometimes use my finger back there with a come here motion towards her vagina, while giving her oral sex.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

^^^

Oh and if one can't feel those micro spasms with a finger back there while performing oral. Change your technique, test and adjust.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but ANYBODY can clench their anal sphincter at will. That theory proves nada. With that said, I do hope your wives are genuinely getting off rather than clenching their butt holes in order to get you off their bodies so they can go update their facebook statuses.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> I think its sad that so many here are so unsure about their wife/partners honesty they feel they must take such drastic action to make sure. If you are lying to each other that doesn't bode well.
> I dont need a finger up my backside.


There aren't many who are participating in this discussion who are unsure.

Am I right to presume you are being hyperbolic?

There is nothing sad about the OP having a desire to help his sexual partner have an orgasm.

As to drastic action, there is nothing drastic in sharing some fun consensual digital anal play with sexually adventurous partners.



Diana7 said:


> I dont need a finger up my backside.


Clearly.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

introvert said:


> I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but ANYBODY can clench their anal sphincter at will. That theory proves nada. With that said, I do hope your wives are genuinely getting off rather than clenching their butt holes in order to get you off their bodies so they can go update their facebook statuses.


Actually there is a significant difference in what a woman feels like when they are just clenching their butt hole, doing Kegels and on and on etc. Versus what a woman feels like when she is approaching and reaching an orgasm.

I have experience of doing this at least a few thousand times with different women over many years, and can assure you butt hole clenching never feels like an orgasm.

Evidently you have no actual experience of this, since if you did you would know that what I am saying is correct.

How about you actually test it, then get back to me.



Personal said:


> Pelvic contraction pressure was measured by an anal probe and a vaginal probe simultaneously. Near the perceived start of orgasm, a series of regular contractions began in nine of the women. Anal and vaginal contraction waveforms were synchronized with each other, and the same number of orgasmic contractions occurred in each lumen. *Anal pressure had a higher resting baseline and greater amplitude contractions than vaginal pressure.*
> 
> *The female orgasm: Pelvic contractions*
> Archives of Sexual Behavior 11(5):367-86 · November 1982
> Bohlen JG, Held JP, Sanderson MO, Ahlgren A.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

Personal said:


> Actually there is a significant difference in what a woman feels like when they are just clenching their butt hole, doing Kegels and on and on etc. Versus what a woman feels like when she is approaching and reaching an orgasm.
> 
> I have experience of doing this at least a few thousand times with different women over many years, and can assure you butt hole clenching never feels like an orgasm.
> 
> ...


So do I...and I am totally laughing my ass off at you. Sorry, Dr. Love.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

introvert said:


> So do I...and I am totally laughing my ass off at you. Sorry, Dr. Love.





> Anal pressure had a higher resting baseline and greater amplitude contractions than vaginal pressure.


Be honest.

Have you ever actually had a finger inside a woman's backside while she orgasms?

Have you ever actually had a finger inside a woman's backside when she is doing Kegels?

Have you ever actually had a finger inside a woman's backside when she is just clenching her "butt hole"?


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

And to be clear, for the sake of your wives and you and your relationships...I do actually hope that they are being honest with you concerning their orgasms. But it doesn't bode well that somebody has to start a thread on how to tell if their wife/gf is having a "sure-fire" orgasm...why on earth would you all not talk about it? Or know?


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

Personal said:


> Be honest.
> 
> Have you ever actually had a finger inside a woman's backside while she orgasms?
> 
> ...


I have had my digits everywhere in a woman...but I have never had to guess online if she'd actually orgasmed. That's the difference between you and I.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

introvert said:


> I have had my digits everywhere in a woman...but I have never had to guess online if she'd actually orgasmed. That's the difference between you and I.


So you have had your fingers in there, yet not when you or another woman has been doing Kegels, "butt hole" clenching versus during orgasm?

So you have no idea then.

As to guessing online, you are confusing me with the OP who started this thread regarding a concern that his partner might be gilding the lily.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

Personal said:


> So you have had your fingers in there, yet not when you or another woman has been doing Kegels, "butt hole" clenching versus during orgasm?
> 
> So you have no idea then.
> 
> As to guessing online, you are confusing me with the OP who started this thread regarding a concern that his partner might be gilding the lily.


I'm a kinkster. my partners and I are honest about such things, because we want all of the fun that goes with sex. 

Whether you are the OP or not matters not to me...clearly, you are insecure about the female orgasm and your abilities. You need to think you have the secret formula, but trust me, you do not. Every woman is different, despite what you might say.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> I dont need a finger up my backside.


My wife prefers a tongue.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

introvert said:


> I'm a kinkster. my partners and I are honest about such things, because we want all of the fun that goes with sex.
> 
> Whether you are the OP or not matters not to me...clearly, you are insecure about the female orgasm and your abilities. You need to think you have the secret formula, but trust me, you do not. Every woman is different, despite what you might say.


*Kinky*

Straw man much?

I'm kinky as well, likewise my partner and previous partners have also been honest about such things.

My wife (who I've been with for almost 21 years) and I do vaginal fisting, golden showers, facials, (digital, penile, butt plug and other toy) anal play, rimming after a shower, sex in public places, some hair pulling and other stuff. My wife also flashes me while we're out and poses for photos of the same. Plus we have also sometimes made our own porn and have mutually posted some of it on a popular fetish site.

Likewise my ex-wife who was my first PIV sexual partner 28 years ago when I was 17 and she was 16. Shared fisting, golden showers, facials, anal play, sex in public places and in the same room as others, plus some spanking as well.

All of that has been the trend for most of my other sexual relationships as well. With the exception of also having done multiple partner sex in-between my two marital relationships.

Considering my life experience, your claim that I am insecure about the female orgasm is nothing but nonsense.

*Secret Formula*

There is no secret formula, nor am I suggesting one.

I am not offering him a panacea for poor communication, nor providing him with a method to bring a woman to orgasm.

The OP was wanting to know how to tell with certainty, so I provided him with the only reliable physiological way (without using manufactured instruments), that can answer his question with certainty.

A means to measure an orgasm is not a means to bring someone to an orgasm.

The fact remains there is a measurable physiological response when any woman has an orgasm, that sees a greater measurable amplitude of pelvic contractions rectally versus vaginally, This response feels significantly different to what it feels like to a finger inside when someone is just clenching their rectum or doing Kegels.

I also asked you to honestly say if you have had your finger/s inside a woman's rectum variously while they are doing Kegels, having an orgasm and clenching. Yet you didn't directly answer those questions at all.

Just having your digits in there, really isn't the same as having them in there at those specific times.

Unfortunately instead of actually testing it for yourself, you have instead been dismissive of it without going there.

Considering the fact that through 28 years, I have at first hand found that an orgasm feels essentially the same with lots of different women rectally. Combined with the fact that this is also known medically, your dismissal of this is naive.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Miss Independent said:


> In her butthole??? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Don't knock it till you've tried it. It feels AMAZING.

Sadly, it's something that most men shy away from.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Personal said:


> You don't need to, it's not like you don't know when it happens for you. :wink2:
> 
> I found this out by accident when I was 17, with my first sexual partner when I was giving her oral sex and I had my finger back there.
> 
> ...


But I have to see what it feels like! I'm too curious to not want to try this.

Come here motion finger here I come! >


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

FeministInPink said:


> Don't knock it till you've tried it. It feels AMAZING.
> 
> Sadly, it's something that most men shy away from.


So good, lol it's so true! If only I could get my current partner to try :smthumbup:


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

FeministInPink said:


> Don't knock it till you've tried it. It feels AMAZING.
> 
> Sadly, it's something that most men shy away from.


Or as it is more commonly known as, "Eating Ass" :smthumbup:

Curious, it if feels amazing for women, then could we assume it feels amazing for a man? I would guess it is something most women would shy away from as well lol.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> Or as it is more commonly known as, "Eating Ass" :smthumbup:
> 
> Curious, it if feels amazing for women, then could we assume it feels amazing for a man? I would guess it is something most women would shy away from as well lol.


I think that's safe to assume.

I can't blame any man for NOT wanting to do it, because *I* don't want to do it myself! But when you meet a man who wants to, it's like JACKPOT! 

I would never ask or expect a partner to do something I'm not also willing to do for him.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> Curious, it if feels amazing for women, then could we assume it feels amazing for a man?


:laugh: Oh yes. I've had male partners who were very much into doing it and having it done to them. The first time I had it done to me and vice versa it happened because the guy I was dating at the time wanted it done to him.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

when she says stop I can't take anymore! and the bed is soaking wet. and then she sleeps like a baby!


when her ******* is winking at you! and your chin looks like a glazed donut! 

when shes smiling the next day!all day


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FeministInPink said:


> Don't knock it till you've tried it. It feels AMAZING.
> 
> Sadly, it's something that most men shy away from.


 I am SO grateful that my husband has no interest in putting ANYTHING down there.:surprise:


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> I am SO grateful that my husband has no interest in putting ANYTHING down there.:surprise:


You should surprise him, sneak something in his keister next time you get hot & heavy


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

FeministInPink said:


> Don't knock it till you've tried it. It feels AMAZING.
> 
> Sadly, it's something that most men shy away from.


Actually my wife initially shied away from me doing this to her. After her first orgasm from "Rimming", she has eagerly accepted my attention there.:grin2:

The first requirement is total trust in bed. I will not to insert ANYTHING, I will stimulate the opening but as she has had issues there and I still consider it an exit rather than an entrance, anal insertion of a penis or even a butt plug is off the table. However, it is loaded with nerve endings, and is quite sensuous, and takes well to a licking and rubbing.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Another things that I will never experience. At least this one I can plausibly convince myself I wouldn't like, as asking H2 to shower first would eliminate any chance of a session happening. If I don't start within 30 seconds of her saying "OK", the window of opportunity closes. I guess when you have such antipathy to sex with your partner, there is no such thing as anticipation - only dread. So I have to act before she realizes that it is time for the dread to kick in.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> You should surprise him, sneak something in his keister next time you get hot & heavy


 He would hate it. Neither of us has any interest in putting anything in the place where poo comes out. :surprise:


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

EllisRedding said:


> Or as it is more commonly known as, "Eating Ass" :smthumbup:
> 
> Curious, it if feels amazing for women, then could we assume it feels amazing for a man? I would guess it is something most women would shy away from as well lol.


Also known as rimming.

my wife does it to me, and I think it feels great.

On the other hand although I have done it to my wife, she tends to not want me to do it to her.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Personal said:


> Also known as rimming.
> 
> my wife does it to me, and I think it feels great.
> 
> On the other hand although I have done it to my wife, she tends to not want me to do it to her.


Not sure I could even relax enough to enjoy having it done to me, so I would pass.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> He would hate it. Neither of us has any interest in putting anything in the place where poo comes out. :surprise:


Life is full of surprises, sneak something up there, who knows >


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> He would hate it. Neither of us has any interest in putting anything in the place where poo comes out. :surprise:


How do you know he would hate it?

Years ago I wasn't keen for that either. Yet as it turns out, it actually feels really good receiving oral sex, while my wife has a finger inside me giving my prostate a massage.

Plus such activity also helps in the prevention of prostate cancer.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its something a lot of people really enjoy receiving, and some enjoy doing. Needless to say cleanliness is essential. 



Miss Independent said:


> In her butthole??? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Taxman said:


> My wife prefers a tongue.


This is something my potential STBXW loves and something I really enjoy doing.


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