# very ready to leave, but staying for my daughter



## Zuzuqa (Jan 1, 2012)

Hi all (this is my first message!).

Feeling beyond ready to leave my husband for a variety of reasons, and have been feeling this way for about a year.

My only concern is our 2-year-old daughter. Sometimes I think I can remain in this miserable relationship for her sake, and other times I think it's crazy to allow myself to remain in what really feels like a prison. I don't want her to grow up thinking she needs to stay in unhappy situations.

If I am to leave my husband, I'm sure we would split custody equally, and the idea of spending nights away from her is just depressing, not to mention holidays, etc. 

Also, my husband has a drinking problem, and a big part of why I stay is that I worry about his reliability---I feel I can keep my daughter safe when I'm around. For example, he left a pot of soup burning on the stove one night after my daughter and I had gone to sleep. I woke up at 2am with smoke filling the house---he'd passed out and didn't notice the smoke. He also drives drunk when he's been out late with friends, and though I don't think he'd drive drunk with her, I can't be certain.

Any advice? Thanks!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You do have a problem on your hands.

Do you/he have health insurance that would cover him getting help for his drinking problem? It might be your best bet to try to get him to quit drinking before you leave if this is at all possible. Have you thought about getting a counselor to help you with an intervention.

You cannot depend on him not driving her when he's drunk. Drunks do not make sound decisions.

Why would you even consider 50/50 physical custody if he's an alcoholic? Have you seen an attorney to find out what you can do? Find out what kind of evidence you need to prove that he has a serious drinking problem and hence should only have supervised visitation.

If you know he is driving drunk, call the police to pick him up. Get his drunk driving on record.


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