# What do you appreciate about your relationship?



## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

What I appreciate about my relationship:

*We laugh together almost everyday (even over the craziest things)

*I like being this vulnerable and feeling safe, to be this vulnerable

*We're like fellow reporters, we rush to share the good and bad news of the day- with each other first

*A date night can be of a pot of coffee and a puzzle when we're flat broke, and still fun 

*Our secrets are known and we have never used that against each other 

*I do not fear tomorrow like I use to

*Our love language is touch and there's always a hug

*We share the same value in loyalty to family and kids 

*My life's been changed for the better because we are together


:yay:


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## HEAVEN (Jul 8, 2011)

this sounds of a life i long to have with my husband of 33 years but we are growing farther apart since his infedelity i tried to forget but i seem to think of that when things are not going good for us i love him but feel very alone and empty inside i do everything for him as a wife i have done my share as a husband i feel he failed.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Thanks for sharing!
I hope to have this too and appreciate knowing that two people can really create such a relationship for themselves.
Sigh.
How long have you been together?
How did you go from being strangers to this?
Was there a pivotal point or was it a recognition and then a slow building up with 'solid quality materials and craftsmanship"?


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I appreciate
- that he listens to me everyday, and pays attention to what I am saying.

- That he spends a lot of time on our relationship.

- That he tells me he loves me often and that I'm beautiful and sexy

- That when we are together he hugs me and holds my hand, shows me a lot of physical affection.

-That we like to spend time together and enjoy a lot of the same things.

- That we have good sex.

-That we are also good friends.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

We're currently going through 'make or break' time. What I appreciate about our relationship is that despite the hurt we've both endured recently, we're still able to give each other a comforting hug or wipe away each others tears. That after the emotions have calmed, one of us still reaches out to the other with the kind of hug that silently says 'I'd take all your hurt away if I could' and the recipient of the hug grasps back with a knowing 'thank you' in return. That we've had some of the most painful conversations of our marriage and still listened as a best friend, even when it hurts like hell to hear.

I love that we can still lay on the sofa together and make each other giggle. I love that we can talk about anything and everything. I love that we can always count on each other. Even if we parted ways we'd make sure the other person was okay and supported. I love that he inspires me to be all that I can be, with or without him. 

I love that he lets me choose the music we listen to, even though he knows I'll probably pick the same songs that he's had to endure for years by artists he's not a fan of. He'll do that without complaining and then also turn up the volume. I love that he tells me sometimes he listens to these songs when I'm not around just because it makes him feel close to me. I love that I do the same with his music when he's not around. 

I love that he's _strong enough_ to take a hard look at what's happening to fight for us. I love that he's _soft enough_ to let me hold him together when he needs to crumble. 


You know that moment first thing in the morning when you wake up and your thoughts and emotions haven't caught up with you yet? In that quiet moment, the first thing I do is check that he's next to me. I have done this for the last 15years. In that stillness, I breathe a sigh of relief that he's by my side. There's a calmness I feel because of this.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

We're loyal, we don't play mind games with each other, we don't feel like one of us has to "win" (well, most of the time) we both adore our daughter, we don't badmouth the other, in or out of the other's presence, and we give each other peace of mind.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

That it's over? :FIREdevil:


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

Deejo said:


> That it's over? :FIREdevil:


:iagree:..sometimes


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I am not scared of hell because I had been to hell!

I don't long for heaven because I am in heaven!

My husband got me out of hell, and he provides me a heaven like life. 

I am settled, content, and happy! All because of him!


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

CoffeeTime said:


> What I appreciate about my relationship:
> Just about everything.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

* strong willed and nobody's fool
* gets my humor and is playful 
* respectful


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

One of us has to die first. It doesn't matter who.


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

I'm a sentimental fool and loving the replies, even the humorous ones. 




Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Thanks for sharing!
> I hope to have this too and appreciate knowing that two people can really create such a relationship for themselves.
> Sigh.
> How long have you been together?
> ...


We have been together for 6 years next month. We actually met online as we were both moderating a poetry website and had just been friends with no romantic inclination whatsoever on either part. Nor were we looking for someone. Then one day we met up and it was history after that. It was like an unknown force hit us both (only after meeting in person) and I cannot explain it. I just can't. It is the weirdest thing to happen to me in my life, to feel this powerful for someone and to experience such compatibility and intimacy. I can understand now what they mean in the movies. Isn't that strange to say that? Neither of us has doubted from day one. And here I was truly the skeptic all my life and bored with that so called fantasy lol. But it is not a fantasy, not to me anymore.


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## JaneD (Jul 10, 2011)

I'm gonna go ahead and post here. While my marriage is in crisis, I think it would be good of me to think of some good things...
SOoooooo.
what do I appreciate? My husband has worked so hard around the house since it was built. He does anything I ask, he does all the yardwork and really goes above and beyond. It makes me day a lot easier.
He will always listen to any work drama or family drama I have. he will listen to me tell him all about my friends and their lives and problems.
He tries to be affectionate with me. Although I do not let him. He still tries.
He is an amazing dad.
He has overcome so much and I do admire him for that.
He will get me a glass of ice water in the middle of the night.


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## Leah L (Jan 11, 2011)

This is a great post, we've had a rocky start but things are getting so much better......

-My husband loves my cooking and appreciates a home cooked meal like no other. He treats dinner time like a special event, arranges our chairs, sets the table and always makes sure the lighting is perfect and/or arranges a "view". 

-I love being outside and as I got older found few people to join me doing that sort of thing. But not my hubby, I barely open my mouth to say "wanna go....." and he has his shorts on and his pack ready. LOL 

-He detests yard work but when he comes home and I'm out weeding etc he puts on his scrubs and joins me. And I have never once asked him to help me (I like yard work). 

-He still has difficulty talking about our marriage issues but his actions these last months say everything he can't.

-He just called while on a business trip to share that I had come up in a very positive way. He wanted me to know what had been said and most importantly he feels the same way and then some. 

-He is very fit and I find him terribly handsome....our sex life is great, I just wish we had more time


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CoffeeTime said:


> What I appreciate about my relationship:
> 
> *We laugh together almost everyday (even over the craziest things)
> 
> ...


I would say the same about every sentence on this list other than I never feared tomorrow, and I prefer tea over coffee & puzzels are not our thing. 

Great list, I LOVE the vulnerability we both have. I love the fact my huband wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him, there is no mismatch in our thermostats. And as Greenpearl says, it is heaven pretty near every day, I always go to bed saying to myself "I love this man so much, thank God for him". 

We are very mushy with each other, both of us Hopeless Romantics but on the other hand, we have much playful banter that our kids get quite the charge out of , I know they see how happy & fullfilling our marraige is, I think sometimes my daughter get jealous of the time I spend with dad! 

The only thing we fear is -if something happens to one of us, it will likely KILL the other. But we can't let that stop us from enjoying every moment we have. 

I love being married.


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I would say the same about every sentence on this list other than I never feared tomorrow, and I prefer tea over coffee & puzzels are not our thing.
> 
> Great list, I LOVE the vulnerability we both have. I love the fact my huband wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him, there is no mismatch in our thermostats. And as Greenpearl says, it is heaven pretty near every day, I always go to bed saying to myself "I love this man so much, thank God for him".
> 
> ...



Yeah I feel the same way. I do not even want to think about the 'what if' we are not together part. I almost died in May from a gallstone that got caught in the duct and started to shut my system down. The fluid was close to the heart but didn't happen. After 6 days in the ICU things got better and I am just about back to normal. While everything was great before, it has been a total mush fest since


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CoffeeTime said:


> Yeah I feel the same way. I do not even want to think about the 'what if' we are not together part. I almost died in May from a gallstone that got caught in the duct and started to shut my system down. The fluid was close to the heart but didn't happen. After 6 days in the ICU things got better and I am just about back to normal. While everything was great before, it has been a total mush fest since


WOW, I can't imagine, I have never had a close call like that, nor him. I would be a freaking basket case. I am guilty of thinking TOO Much about stuff like this, the what IF's of life, as none of us are immune no matter who GOOD it has been, or how healthy we are. 

I bet that experience opened your eyes to what you have right in front of you & just what you will miss -overwhelmingly. Probably did wonders for the marraige even. 

I can be terribly sentimental, just the near thought of something happeing to him- I will tear up. It happens more than I care to admit. Thankfully, these are just thoughts, not anything happening in our lives to cause REAL worry. He accually loves it when I do this (told me so), these intense rush of emotions cause of how I feel. 

But then again, I can start balling just watching a Hallmark commercial sometimes too. And even though they are grueling, I still love a good "tear jerking" move once in a while. Tears will be flowing like mad, but I keep watching! It helps if they have a good ending. Some of the ones about a lost child though, I can't get through them. I think a good cry is healthy I guess , kinda cleansing for the soul. 

My secondary temperment is Melancholy, I know this explains WHY much of why I am this way.


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## SeekingHope (Jul 12, 2011)

We're forced to spend a lot of time apart because of the nature of our jobs, we play Scrabble against each other on our smart phones. Makes us feel like we are together even when we are apart.

He always tells me every last detail of his day. I mean EVERY detail, "...then I picked up the dog poop in the yard, got the mail..." I used to think it was annoying, but now I realize he just wants me to be part of his day that I missed.

He appreciates SO much whenever I do something I really dislike, but I do it for him (camping, weeding the flowers).

He's an amazing cook and makes us the best meals. But he'll eat the, uhhh "questionable", things I make when it's my turn to cook without a single complaint.

Thanks for posting this, sometimes I am so wrapped up in our problems that I forget how wonderful he is in so many ways. I think I'll tell him when I talk to him tonight


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> WOW, I can't imagine, I have never had a close call like that, nor him. I would be a freaking basket case. I am guilty of thinking TOO Much about stuff like this, the what IF's of life, as none of us are immune no matter who GOOD it has been, or how healthy we are.
> 
> I bet that experience opened your eyes to what you have right in front of you & just what you will miss -overwhelmingly. Probably did wonders for the marraige even.
> 
> ...


No worries, I remember being the only adult crying in the theater with my kids seeing "All Dogs Go To Heaven". Nothing has changed.


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

SeekingHope said:


> We're forced to spend a lot of time apart because of the nature of our jobs


Makes it all the more special when you do have time together eh? 
I hope the best for you both.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

We laugh a lot, we have great sex. We like a lot of the same things - such as movies and recreational type stuff - we enjoy people-watching. He's a good person...just not as emotional as I'd like, and almost useless around the house...most of the time. But you can't have everything.


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