# Is dating while seperated still cheating?



## Heartbroken007 (Mar 31, 2011)

I have only been seperated a week, but I wanted to know the rules on dating. Should it not be done at all? I have no interest in the next couple of weeks, but if the divorce takes a few months. Is it ok? I also want to know because if I see H with someone, I want to know what to say to him if anything. Thanks


----------



## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

You are not going to be able the change your husband's mind if you do see him, but for you the simple question to is are you still married? In my opinion getting a divorce and being divorced are two different things. If you have not legally divorced yet, i believe it is cheating. There will be some who may disagree but legally as well as morally it is cheating because you are still married. That's my take on it. I know it will be tough. I've been seperated for 5 months now and am in the divorce process but I have yet to go on one date or even consider it because i'm not divorced yet. My spiritual convictions also play a huge part in it. You make the call on what you feel is right, but don't try to change your husband's view. you can only control you.


----------



## Heartbroken007 (Mar 31, 2011)

Thank you Mark. I realize everyone has there different take and commend you for being loyal to your wife until the very end. I too feel that I should wait until everything is finalized, but just wanted to get an idea of what others think. Thanks again


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I read your other thread.

I'm assuming ...

Assuming that you may already have prospects?

Go for it.

Just be self aware. Date? Sure. Absolutely. Throw yourself into a relationship? Bad move ...

You have unfinished business, and that business is going to take an emotional toll. The reality is, even if you get the ball rolling for 
divorce next week, you are looking at months prior to it being finalized.

Clean up your emotional house. Sounds like you are well on your way. Sounds like you are in better shape than him.

He has somebody else. No doubt in my mind. Or ... he _had_ somebody else at the very least.
If you have the opportunity to date, my vote is go for it.

It can be enormously empowering.


----------



## Heartbroken007 (Mar 31, 2011)

Wish I could say I did have someone to flirt with, but nope, not the case, not yet. 

I always had "good game" when I was single. I mean I did land a 20 year old, very smart, family oriented, funny, strong work ethic and loving (at the time) man when I was 25. 

He was able to give me what many 35 year olds couldn't. With that being said, 10 years later, if I could have only predicted the future, oY VeY.

Deep inside, I did see this coming as a possible excuse to leave with the whole "age thing", but I believed in his committment to me.

Sooo off I go into "single-land" with a heavy heart, but I will find love again. I'm sure of it. I'm very lovable. :lol:


----------



## mama (Feb 25, 2011)

i think that if you are legally separated then it's no different then being divorced. what i was told was that it was fine to just do the sep. unless u are going to remarry and then u need a divorce. everything gets worked out the same in a legal sep. like custody of kids, child support, splitting of assets etc.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

My advice is to discuss with your SO what the rules will be regarding that. PLEASE discuss it cause it can get messy if you don't.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Lots of good input on here... I'm also on the side of dating while separated is ok. Although like Jellybeans says, discuss it up front, or be VERY discrete about it (or both). 

I also wouldn't be interested in dating if there was any discussion of reconciliation...

C


----------



## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

Very discrete is bad advice if you have feel the need to be discrete about it either a) your ex is an abusive jerk who needs a R/O or b) you still have emotional baggage with your ex that you are carrying and working through


----------

