# Step-Daughter & Famliy Life



## polekitten (Jan 24, 2012)

My partner has a step-daughter (5) and a son (1), with me obviously! I am very worried about our family life at the moment. He has recently said he dosn't think he'll ever really love our daughter like his own and they spend most of the time at each others throats.

He may play with her once every 3 months or so for half an hour, he hands her homework if I make him but doesn't do it properly with her, he wouldn't put in extra effor to get her to her extra maths lessons so if I wasn't around she wouldn't go. He is fine with his son but then he is only 1 very smiley and easy to play with for 5 minutes and then put down so I don't know if he'll be the saame with hm when he's older. He has stopped shouting at our daughter so much but still gets into arguments with her over silly things and life is generally stressful when they're both around.

We have very different backgrounds, his family was very broken and he had no support growing up. His education is very limited and he has no previous experience of looking after his own children (although I get "i brought up my brothers and sisters" quite a lot!). We've been together 3 years.

Any suggestions or am I finally going to have to admit I'm banging my head against a brick wall and just take full control of our daughters life and shut him out?


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## asylumspadez (Jan 17, 2012)

I read a few posts like this so I have grown to accept that if a man marries a woman with a child that isnt his, he wouldnt love that child as much as his own child. Im not saying all men do this but a few do and you are the unlucky one to get a man that does this. I would be quick to draw the line with him and make him see that she is just a little girl and arguing with her gets him no where.

Besides that, There is nothing else that I can think of that will help. Hes just an *******.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

That's a really big red flag. I personally wouldn't subject my daughter to him for the next 15 years; I'd be gone by now.


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## girl friday (Jan 14, 2012)

Remember that your partner is not your daughters father. Don't make the same mistake I did and try to force your partner to be her father when its not what he wants to be. It took me a long while to get my head around this and to stop expecting things to be in a way they would never be. It sets you up for constant disappointments and heartbreaks. 

Don't force things between them, be a great mother to her and with a bit of space and less expectations on your partner things might get better. They may never love each other as a daughter and father would, but given a bit of space hopefully they will grow to have a respectful, healthy relationship.


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