# Do I really have a low sex drive?



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Is 2-3x a week considered a low drive for a man in his mid 20s? Do I need to see a doctor and is it just going to get worse as I age - because that's what I heard...

:scratchhead:


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## LBG (Nov 22, 2011)

Well that depends, what's the rest of your life like? If you're a very busy and stressed person then I'd say no, it's pretty normal. Hubby is 27 (28 in Jan), and would love to have sex at least once a day, but time constraints and me having a lower drive leaves him with 5-6 times a week.

Does it affect your relationship? If not, then I wouldn't worry too much.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I'm 45 and everyday would still be good or I mean great


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Actually I'm not very busy, when I go to work I have paperwork but half the time I either sleep, play games or surf the net lol

Sure I can step out of the office but then my workers will end up with having nothing to do and they stand around and then I sign them off and then they get p-ssed at me for lowering their hours.

That's probably why I feel something may be wrong with me because it's not like I live a stressful life nowadays.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I think your sex drive is similar to my husband's. When I met him, he was 26. He was happy with two or three times a week. I was surprised that he didn't want to pound me more often. 

He has been like the same for the last 8 years. I consider his sex drive lower than average men. 

I have told you that my sex drive is higher than my husband's. I want sex more often than he does. Last year it was the highest, I wanted sex three times a day. I am sorry to tell you that my husband is rather different from you. Instead of being annoyed by my high sex drive, he is thrilled. He lets me have him whenever I want to. But when I want to have sex, I don't tire him out. He doesn't need to do much, all he needs to do is to lie there, hold me, and let me have him. 

If your sex drive is much lower than your wife's, then just let your wife have you, you don't need to cum. That's what we do. I am happy, and he is happy.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's not like I can just lie there, if I don't perform she'll chuck a fit, and if I don't cum she won't let me go until I do, nor will she let me go until she's satisfied and she hates being left hanging except during a tease with a promise she will get it eventually. 

A half-ass job doesn't count as as a session to her, which frightens me somewhat into giving it everything I have so she wouldn't get annoyed then probably demand that I make up the next day.

She hasn't done so yet since our compromise but I can just see it happening knowing her. She's also very sensitive to changes in our sexual routine it seems. It's like she gauges our relationship based on sex sometimes.

In the past also when I try to get away from her she starts whining and telling me I hurt her. Funny, speaking of pain, I wonder if others here have experienced what I call "blue balls", it's a throbbing pain on your sacs that lasts for up to a day. Sometimes I wake up and find the missus on me already and I just close my eyes wanting to snooze but she just shakes me up or start slapping my cheeks or sucking hard enough to cause discomfort rather then pleasure so I can't go back to sleep. Or flicking water on me or pulling me off the bed or stealing the blanket or the pillows... *sigh* it is annoying. Not exactly thrilling.

But that's not the issue now, we're so far good with our little compromise (sort of, I'm thankful merely because I know it can be a LOT worse!), I'm just curious about my own sex drive and whether I am actually pretty screwed up at mid 20s.

Also considering I no longer work 84 hour shifts I shouldn't exactly have much of an excuse yes?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

She has insecurity issues. 

She shouldn't feel bad that you don't want to cum as often as she does. If she forces you to do what your body can't do, it is tiring and stressing. 

I am glad that you are trying to compromise each other. Marriage is about communication and compromise.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I've said it before, your wife has issues that she should deal with.

Having said that, your drive seems low to me. At 44, I'm pretty happy with one a say. If my body would respond as my mind wants, it would be more than that, if my partner was willing. In my 20's, one a day would have been about fine by me. 

You COULD get checked out to make sure there's nothing physical. You could try some of the things discussed in the men's forum, like lifting weights. But it could also be emotional, given your situation. 

Good luck!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Darn it... =/

BTW I haven't noticed an increase in sex drive when I'm lifting weights. It is possible it's emotional or mental considering my drive increases when we're on holidays, but then again it's not like everyday unlike our daily routine.

In the past I also got a bit worried in regards to the quality of climaxes, sprog is meant to be white yes? After consistent 3x a day sessions sometimes I end up sprogging out clear liquid instead, and only about 1 or 2 shots, compared to about half a dozen pumps years ago, and that's when the sacs start aching.

The once a day compromise has yet to make me ache, but the orgasms have still been rather weak along with my lack of interest. Meh... what's the doctor going to do anyway? =/

No needles on my ballsacs right? Or anything like that? How do they test it? Sperm count or something?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My guess is .....your sex drive would likely be higher if she was not after you SO MUCH & So demandingly. I hope she can tone it down some on her end, as this has contributed to your not wanting as much sex with her-the way she steamrolls you. 

 My husband was never the aggressive Alpha type but at your young age, he would have LOVED LOVED LOVED once a day, even though he didn't get it. It seems we always want what we don't have, doesn't it! I bet if you had a wife with a low sex drive , yours would be HIGHER cause YOU get excited by the chase & a little tease .....as many men do. 

I am a bit like your wife, but not that demanding. Thankfully my husband is like Greenpearls, he likes it , and wants me to come on to him. We'd be in BIG trouble if that turned him off. He is my perfect match. At his age, he is more like you, in the "DRIVE" department -that amount would be fine, he'd never be upset - but he still is happy to give me more, whatever he can muster UP is all mine for the riding. 

We had the funniest conversation the other day about his sex drive (he is 48 now), I told him I wished he was still in overdrive, and he said *..."I wish I still had overdrive, that part of the transmission went out*". I laughed a little at the time, but that comment kinda bummed me out thinking ...damn his overdrive is all freaking gone, oh how I hate this!! I still fall into that mental pit once in a while wishing we could go back in time and relive those days.  

I got a little bent out of shape one morning cause he is just not as FRISKY as me , just more tired and I wanted him to come on to me... our fights are near halarious....and we ALWAYS learn something from them.... I told him He needed a NEW Transmission!! I was pmsing & I get a little emotional ... he gets on top of me looking down into my eyes .... telling me how I am his soul mate pouring on the mush, how he doesn't want to do anything to hurt me, I am his everything in this world -and all I could think to say is.... "But do you still have a sex drive?" he starts laughing hysterically, then I start laughing -fight over.... onto sex. 

Later that night he says..."*Just think of it as a Manual Transmission, you have to shift it yourself, it's not automatic*" ....so I can still get him into all of those gears while driving him. And I thought --how TRUE that is ! Somehow that *analogy *just lifted my spirits about the whole thing -that although his is NOT automatically in Overdrive- like a young stud, I can still work them gears taking hold of his gearshift and put him in overdrive. Ha ha 

So -if your wife can look at it this way -if she can get you to do the same, even if your sex drive is lower, then it all works out, though she has near bitten your gearshift, strapped it up, she near abuses it -at times. She better watch how she handles your "transmission" or it's gonna blow out too. 

I know you have said you are looking for more of the emotional from her - in sex. 

I want to do a thread on this someday -got it fluttering in the back of my head.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

She has been trying but she's doing it rather half-heartedly, and I haven't exactly been really enjoying it either due to the fact I still have this nagging thought at the back of my head of duty... duty... duty...

Meh, I'll talk to her about it tonight, and re-evaluate the terms of our agreement... calmly of course. Not going to spoil my bday and xmas especially since she already bribed me with a gift.

Thoughtful though, hifi speakers for my man-cave. Didn't really need them but oh well, now my entire street won't be able to relax the next time I decide to put on music with my daughter on my lap dancing. I'll have to check the bank later and find out how much it actually cost >.>

Nah I don't want to know... about to head to dinner, just going to enjoy the rest of today, then bash my head against the wall tomorrow morning until I knock myself out once I check the bank.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> She has been trying but she's doing it rather half-heartedly, and I haven't exactly been really enjoying it either due to the fact I still have this nagging thought at the back of my head of duty... duty... duty...
> 
> Meh, I'll talk to her about it tonight, and re-evaluate the terms of our agreement... calmly of course. Not going to spoil my bday and xmas especially since she already bribed me with a gift.
> 
> ...


your situation is the reverse of most couples. because she puts SOOOOOOOO much importance on sex and frequency you are turned off by the lack of emotion that should accompany sex.


its a parodox of sorts. the ying and yang is all screwed up


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

my sex drive has increased in recent years, helps that my wife's drive has increased even moreso. Sex begets more sex unless there is a physical problem.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)




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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I just had a very mild talk with wifey, well more like hinting. Doesn't seem that she wants to re-evaluate the terms however, so I stopped hinting before she suspects I'm actually serious about this. I'll wait till next year I guess.

Thanks btw SA

Almostrecovered, so your drive increased? =/ I thought it's meant to decrease for men

Merry xmas all btw


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> Almostrecovered, so your drive increased? =/ I thought it's meant to decrease for men


I'm just guessing, but maybe when his wife's drive was lower, he lost a little bit of interest - as it was too hard, I am just guessing - it WAS like this for my husband...his drive was always there but he felt I would reject him many times, he would put himself down, he told later (when I opened up the questions about our past) ...he would wake up and feel like it was a scurge, just wanted it to go down..... makes me feel really bad hearing that. Why the heck he didn't just grab me & come on to me- well, I will never understand my passive husband, I could have never never never never put myself down like that --if I was wanting it. Here, I was thinking he didn't have much of a drive. 

Even WE have a ton more sex than we used too, as he has aged. I agree, the more sex you have --IF that glorious emotional connection is doing it's magic- and it doesn't feel like a duty, but just cause you both enjoy being with each other in this way -plus who doesn't love orgasms!!.....the MORE you will want. Some things in life just doesn't get "old".


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SA,

You want to hear something hilarious?

My ex thought I was low drive.

She rationalized it as something biological with us being an infertile couple or some other b.s.

A guy with a 1200 T level "low drive"?

Pass the mustard.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Conrad said:


> SA,
> 
> You want to hear something hilarious?
> 
> ...


When women are young, clueless about the male sex drive, throw in uneducated & have other things on our minds, we can be the dumbest creatures around, this I believe--because I was just that. 

Those are some Crazy HIGH T numbers, breaking the charts even ! I wish I knew what my husband's was back then... if sperm count can give any clue at all, he did have that taken once upon a time -195,000 million....when he was around 31 yrs.


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Is 2-3x a week considered a low drive for a man in his mid 20s? Do I need to see a doctor and is it just going to get worse as I age - because that's what I heard...
> 
> :scratchhead:


Random, my wife wants sex much less than me. So sometimes I get myself "warmed up" to porn and then she comes in to finish me off. Takes 10-15 minutes of her time. Maybe your wife could do something similar. 

Seems like tho, there is something else going on. Like she is insecure and wants to make sure you do not stray. Almost like, if she knows she has done you every day, that you will have nothing left over for other women. 

If the constant sex were just about her being horny, she could masterbate. Since she will not, there might be something else motivating it.


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