# Does anyone want to help me inform a BS, that his wife is a **** n gold digger?



## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

For years now I have been trying to track down the fiance/now husband of the lady who had an affair with my husband. 
Besides from the obvious reasons why the poor man should know the truth about her having an 8month affair, but it was she did it while they were planning their wedding, going through IVF (egg/sperm implanting), and literally told my husband that she was only with her fiancé/now husband purely for financial security...

I feel so sorry for him if she falls pregnant before he has a chance to decided if he wants her to be the mother of his children or remain his wife?

I'm telling you that this girl is evil... I know that you must be thinking of course I would think that, but it is true and from what I have heard she's on the prowl again (my husband has band anyone from being able to contact him via fb and people cant even write on his wall..) 
She used to live in a small town and EVERYONE knows what she's like, and apparently she takes after her mother. 

My older kids are still very much effected by what this woman and my h/their dad did, especially because the argument that led up to us having problems was because he drove home drunk and I/we were extremely worried for his welfare for hrs cause he wasn't returning my calls... I was also pregnant at the time and the OW knew everything that was going on and anytime that my husband and I were getting along very well she would pull some sort of sexual fishing line and hook him back into her world...

When my H and I got back together it took ages to finally not get msg's, emails, phone calls -which then she would hang up etc... this girl was hooked on the sexual attention she once had with my H and she didn't want to give it up. 

I heard from an old friend, where my friends sister knows the OW sister and she gave a VERY different story about what happened in compared to what really happened, and the thing is- I HAVE ALL THE PROOF... the emails, the text/sexting msg's the decent to porn pics, basically I have everything. But one problem, I have been trying for months to find her husband or someone who knows her husband to tell him the truth or email/post him the hard truth...

Is there anyone out there that can help me find Mr C M◆/#《○n, from the Central Coast of NSW Australia?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Maybe you could get your friend that knows the sister to get you the information?


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I would edit out the name of the person. If someone wants to help you then PM the information.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

No offense. You are doing some blameshifting there, regarding your hubby.

Maybe you should focus on that. He was not brainwashed or under a spell. Sorry. She is no more a witch than your husband is a cheater.

Her poor husband likely knows what she is. Especially if its a small town. Go for it if you need to. But do you really want to spend time away from rebuilding your marriage for this mess?

I am all for revenge against the affair partner, but you seem to be misdirecting your anger.

Focus on having a long and healthy reconciliation. Karma will sort her out.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

The one option you have is to put her on cheaterville and post the information you have. Edit out your husband's name and anything else that will point to you all. Maybe that will be enough.


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

I would leave it alone. You chose to stay with your husband, what use is it to go after the OW now? 
I am sorry you are hurting, so sorry that OW still causes you grief, but you have chosen the reconciliation path so for your own sanity, let it go. Be happy with your life. Do not dwell in revenge anymore.

Who is to say the husband doesn't know? If this woman does nto have a good reputation like you said, and if the whole town knows her gold-digging ways do you think her husband is not aware of the situation?

Let it go OP, for your own happiness, let it go.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

ne9907 said:


> I would leave it alone. You chose to stay with your husband, what use is it to go after the OW now?
> I am sorry you are hurting, so sorry that OW still causes you grief, but you have chosen the reconciliation path so for your own sanity, let it go. Be happy with your life. Do not dwell in revenge anymore.
> 
> Who is to say the husband doesn't know? If this woman does nto have a good reputation like you said, and if the whole town knows her gold-digging ways do you think her husband is not aware of the situation?
> ...


This said it better than I did.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I can't believe people are saying not to expose. 

Makes sure her husband knows she was cheating with your husband. He deserves to know. If he already knows, then fine, but you need to make sure he does.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

She should expose, but not at the price of bringing more drama to her marriage, and not in lieu of holding her hubby accountable.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

ne9907 said:


> I would leave it alone. You chose to stay with your husband, what use is it to go after the OW now?
> I am sorry you are hurting, so sorry that OW still causes you grief, but you have chosen the reconciliation path so for your own sanity, let it go. Be happy with your life. Do not dwell in revenge anymore.
> 
> Who is to say the husband doesn't know? If this woman does nto have a good reputation like you said, and if the whole town knows her gold-digging ways do you think her husband is not aware of the situation?
> ...


Sorry, but I can not disagree more with this comment, I am a 100% supporter of exposure even if it is only to the other BS.

I will not fool myself thinking and denying that partially op's reason for exposure is revenge, but that does not matter in the end, every BS have the right to know, "*nobody deserves to live a lie.*"

what if by following your advice the OP allows the creation of another user as "8yearcheating" whose whole marriage was a lie, from his 22 year marriage his wife cheated 20, or another "Osvaldo" whose wife cheated during the first 9 years of their realtionship and he discovered that his oldest daughter of 20 years was not his bilogical daughter.

*informing the other BS is not revenge, is a moral obligation, and simply, is the right thing to do.*

if this woman is a serial cheater she will not stop, and serail cheaters are very good in hiding their affair from their partners, they have years of experience doing it.

I am not telling her to go and expose and notify everybody in her work, neighborhood, and social gatherings, telling verybody that she is a man-eater (at this stage where she is already reconciling is pointless), but exposing her to her BS is the human thing to do, is the equivalent to tell a blind man that he is about to fall in to a pit.

OP, use Face book or other social media of find him by his name, and send him a first message confirming if he is the husband of "name of the OW".

I support 100% the big favor that you are doing to this man (even if he is hurt at it does not look like a favor to him right now, you could be saving him from years of pain and deception)


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

harrybrown said:


> Maybe you could get your friend that knows the sister to get you the information?


It's my old friend's sister that knows the OW's sister. There's no way that the OW's sister would give out any useful information, like an email address or OW's husbands mobile or their address, nothing. The OW spun up a cover story that my H was obsessed/stalker and has everyone 'worried for her welfare' and I'd assume everyone would be suspicious if someone who they know I would/may have connections with, they would be very cautious. 
My old friend and I have tried a few things to try n get their new address (even saying we had a package that was sent to the wrong address and if she would know the correct address?) We've had no luck. She's playing the victim very well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

Thorburn said:


> I would edit out the name of the person. If someone wants to help you then PM the information.


Yep, true... I'll do that now.
Thanks...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

illwill said:


> No offense. You are doing some blameshifting there, regarding your hubby.
> 
> Maybe you should focus on that. He was not brainwashed or under a spell. Sorry. She is no more a witch than your husband is a cheater.
> 
> ...


Hmmmm.... I don't know where I've blame shifted? I believe they were equally responsible for their bad choices. The only difference is that my H has owed up to his mistakes to everyone and we are still dedicated to improving our relationship with full love trust and honor. I made the decision to work things out with my H on the basis that there were no more lies or cover ups/sugar coating/rug sweeping -whatever, and that's my point, I was able to make that decision where her H is living with a liar and hasn't been given that opportunity to make his decision if he wants to continue his relationship with her, have a baby with her or go through counseling and make things work and understand what went wrong... 

As for the small town and everyone knowing her reputation, well she doesn't live there anymore, and I'm sure her H would have no idea about her past. 

For me I really don't feel like I am wanting to make her H aware of their affair as a revenge thing. I honestly think that he most definitely needs to know the truth (if he wants to?) I think it's most important for him to make that decision based on the truth, especially because they are going through IVF (planting her healthy eggs and injecting his sperm, not to mention spending 10's of thousands of dollars on trying to fall pregnant) I believe that he deserves the right to work things out first b4 a baby is born...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

SadSamIAm said:


> I can't believe people are saying not to expose.
> 
> Makes sure her husband knows she was cheating with your husband. He deserves to know. If he already knows, then fine, but you need to make sure he does.


Thank you for your support. And for the record my H also believes that moraly the OW's H should have the right to know.
I'm not going to loose my H over letting her H know the truth. My H and I have delt with their affair and our relationship is now built on truth, we have a very strong relationship now, and tbh, even if we didn't my thoughts would still feel the same, that one way or another he deserves to know the truth, I'm glad I had the opportunity to know, regardless of how gobsmacked hurt etc that I was, I'm very happy that my relationship is real.

I don't understand why people want to hide important info, people shouldn't have the right to not let the other person make up their own minds of what they want out of life- the truth or fiction, I'm pretty sure everyone here on this post would be pissed off if that right was taken away from them...!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

manticore said:


> Sorry, but I can not disagree more with this comment, I am a 100% supporter of exposure even if it is only to the other BS.
> 
> I will not fool myself thinking and denying that partially op's reason for exposure is revenge, but that does not matter in the end, every BS have the right to know, "*nobody deserves to live a lie.*"
> 
> ...


Exactly how I feel about the situation, she has blocked her fb to everyone who knows me, but at the end of the day I do feel like if he knew that it would save him from years upon years of anger and hurt. 

Statistics say if a cheater is not caught that they are more likely to do it again. She did say to my H that he wasn't the 1st person who she has cheated with on her H, so I guess that she will do it again. So not right...!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

I can't believe that people could help her cover up her infidelity, it's beyond my comprehension. 
People, we are talking about a persons moral rights to know the person who they are really married to, yet alone bringing in a baby to a false marriage, and to spend the rest of your life with the one who you love and suppose to trust and have mutual respect for each other. 

Come on guys, really... I have nothing to gain for this to be a 'revenge thing' and not for 1 second I believe if your spouse was unfaithful to you in any way that you wouldn't want to know about it... Would you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

Your writing makes it seems more like a vendetta. Nit a effort to help the OW hubby. Thats fine. Go for it. But call it what it is. You clearly demonized her while making excuses for your husband. 
Reread your original post.

Ike i said she deserves whatever happens.

Dont do it in lieu or while minimizing your husbands role.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

illwill said:


> Your writing makes it seems more like a vendetta. Nit a effort to help the OW hubby. Thats fine. Go for it. But call it what it is. You clearly demonized her while making excuses for your husband.
> Reread your original post.
> 
> Ike i said she deserves whatever happens.
> ...


disagree, if it was a simple a vendetta, and she was trying to hurt her and wreck her life as much as possible, then she would just have to send all the conversations she saved with sexual implications where she was chaising her husnband to her family, friends and even coworkers (all of those who bought the story of OW that she was being stalked by OP's husband).

Instead she want to contact OW's husband discretely and without public exposure.

Obviously, as anyone who has been wronged seeing the person who agreviated you facing consequences bring the sense of justice, clousure and kind of satisfaction, that happens to most human beings.



still.hurting said:


> she has blocked her fb to everyone who knows me, but at the end of the day I do feel like if he knew that it would save him from years upon years of anger and hurt.
> [/i][/size]


still.hurting

I meant his FB, even if for some reason OW warned him about you, you can open another account with a fake name a contact him and share the information you have.

also some people post where are they working in Link Id and other social media.

so you can find his current job location, then phone to the company and request to be transfered to him.

also, you already have his full name and city location, I am guessing that your country as most countries have a phone number for information, you can phone to see in they have his phone information.

lastly you can even contact his family, like brothers, sisters, parents by FB, and explain the situation letting them know that you have all the proofs to back up your claims.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

I base my opinion on the words she wrote about OW compared to her hubby. That is more telling. And no matter how discrete she is, its a small town it will get out.

Whatever the means, she wants to punish OW. Thats fine. She has a right to be vindictive. 

My issue is the blameshift from 
hubby to OW.

Which i am basing on her words.


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## thebadguy (Dec 7, 2012)

So...I'm not in or from Australia, but here in the U.S. there is public access to marriage and property ownership records...and frequently there are engagement and marriage announcements published in news papers that get archived forever...even church bulletins are online and searchable. Have you tried this route?

I am surprised your husband doesn't know enough to be able to find him.


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

manticore said:


> disagree, if it was a simple a vendetta, and she was trying to hurt her and wreck her life as much as possible, then she would just have to send all the conversations she saved with sexual implications where she was chaising her husnband to her family, friends and even coworkers (all of those who bought the story of OW that she was being stalked by OP's husband).
> 
> Instead she want to contact OW's husband discretely and without public exposure.
> 
> ...


There was a time where I could see her fb page and wedding pics... I found that out from me clearing out old msg's and saw that her name no longer came up as 'Facebook User...'
I was very tempted to write to anyone who shared her maiden name and her now married surname, but I don't want to publicly expose it nor do I want her seeking out revenge (God knows what anyone is capable of these days?) And I have a large family to protect (6 kids) mentally and physically I need to protect them at the same time. So I didn't reach out to anyone on her Fb account, and I know her H's name, yet it looks like he doesn't have FB or any social media ties. I can't find anything on him. I know he is a plumber and I've tried searching abn (Australian Business Names) where you are able to search under the persons name too, but nothing shows up. 

I know where she works, and yes I could disgrace her by exposing her to colleagues- but NO, it's a personal thing and a very traumatic event that should ONLY remain that way. 

I can't imagine how this poor guy is going to take it when or if he ever finds out. I don't know what type of personality he has and what he is capable of. This news needs to be given in the most respectful way possible. He could be the nicest man on the face of this earth or the worst (but I doubt he's the worst -he looked a little nerdy and very much in love with his wife in the wedding pics... 

Anyway, I appreciate your support, don't really care if other people here think/feel differently towards what I'm trying to do. But thank you for your support and suggestions 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

illwill said:


> I base my opinion on the words she wrote about OW compared to her hubby. That is more telling. And no matter how discrete she is, its a small town it will get out.
> 
> Whatever the means, she wants to punish OW. Thats fine. She has a right to be vindictive.
> 
> ...


Obviously you have a right to your opinion, but I think you might have taken my post/posts the wrong way, or maybe I am with you. 
1: I believe that both my H and the OW were equally responsible for their affair. 
2: I believe that me finding out has actually been the best outcome because of our counseling sessions and determination to make us work, we have learnt so much more about each other, therefore have a much greater understanding and respect for each other as well. 
3: Yes I worry that he has been feed a pack of lies from his now wife, and what if he finds out the wrong way in dribs and drabs and maybe even untruthful things to cover her actions. I want to just let him know that I have ALL the evidence, non bias black and white, the truth...!

I hope that you're not ready my post in a bad tone, I know it comes across as if I'm being hostile, I'm not, it's just that I am extremely busy running around after two very busy two yr olds, its taken me nearly 2 hrs just to write this post.
Which brings me to another reason why I really believe why he needs to know the truth, for her to do the things she doing with my H, all while her and her H were planning a wedding and trying for a baby... he needs to know. 

Do you have any suggestions on how else I can try and find him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

CheaterVille :: Don't Be the Last to Know and use the Australian option.


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

thebadguy said:


> So...I'm not in or from Australia, but here in the U.S. there is public access to marriage and property ownership records...and frequently there are engagement and marriage announcements published in news papers that get archived forever...even church bulletins are online and searchable. Have you tried this route?
> 
> I am surprised your husband doesn't know enough to be able to find him.


Thank you, I don't know if those records are publicly available (we have strict privacy laws here and it's got worse due to all the fraud problems we have been having over here..)
But I will look down that avenue, with marriage records, but tbh I doubt that an address or email would be attached with it.

I've tried looking through the white pages as well, but looks like they have a private phone which means its not on any public phone lookup records... Most people here don't even have home phones/land lines, it's cheaper to have a mobile/cell phone and internet plans where I have no way 
As much as I would like to let her H know the truth, I don't think I'm going to have much luck. I'm not going to spent the rest of my life trying to find him and let him know, this is my final try to try and get the truth out there to him. I will only spend another couple of months and then that's it, I have to live my life without the past popping in and out here and there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## still.hurting (Dec 10, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> CheaterVille :: Don't Be the Last to Know and use the Australian option.


WOW, I had know idea that existed....
Hope he or someone he knows, knows about this website? 

Thanks heaps 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

still.hurting said:


> Obviously you have a right to your opinion, but I think you might have taken my post/posts the wrong way, or maybe I am with you.
> 1: I believe that both my H and the OW were equally responsible for their affair.
> 2: I believe that me finding out has actually been the best outcome because of our counseling sessions and determination to make us work, we have learnt so much more about each other, therefore have a much greater understanding and respect for each other as well.
> 3: Yes I worry that he has been feed a pack of lies from his now wife, and what if he finds out the wrong way in dribs and drabs and maybe even untruthful things to cover her actions. I want to just let him know that I have ALL the evidence, non bias black and white, the truth...!
> ...


Good luck to you. And apologies if you were offended.


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## vox.populi (Aug 8, 2013)

still.hurting said:


> She did say to my H that he wasn't the 1st person who she has cheated with on her H, so I guess that she will do it again. So not right...!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'll always be grateful to the other man's girlfriend for giving me the last piece of evidence I needed.

The STD's, the junk filling the pantry, the hours she wasted lying in a pile of her own filth while spending good quality time with the iHusband. All of that magically dissolves when someone cares enough to protect their home by exposing filth for what it is.

I hope you find him. He deserves better than her.


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