# Wife kicked me out, am hurt and lost



## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

Sorry if its long or i repeat myself, new to this whole thing and am just feeling lost right now.

My wife and i have been married for 3 and a half years, together for 8..i am 25 and she is 23, we have a daughter who is 3. About 2 months ago, she kicked me out of the house, saying that she just wants to be single and doesnt love me anymore. Naturally i didnt listen to anyone or read any books etc and went crazy, begged, pleaded, tryd to force her to love me, which only made it all worse. She claimed that she has lost love for me for about a year now.After doing some talking, i started to realise all the things i did wrong over the past few years and i told her i would change, she did not believe me, it was getting too much for me so i took a break and went to another state. While i was there she started seeing another guy, he is 38 (apparently age doesnt matter but to me it looks silly). When i found this out i instantly felt hurt and betrayed. Apparently she had only known him for 2 weeks before she stayed at his house and everything that you can imagine happend. When i came back i made things even worse by trying to get her back again.While i was seeing my daughter he called her and she went out the front and sounded happier than ever. I dont know what to do anymore, for the past 5 days i have kept contact to a minimum apart from seeing my daughter. From everything i looked at, i see every single thing i have done wrong, and know how to fix it, but she said that she has given me too many chances and wont let me try again. Even her mother knew about all this and noone said anything to me. Or if they did i ignored the warning signs. I cant stop thinking about her and this other guy, about how i could have done something, now to me it seems too late, i am currently trying to get myself in shape and show her that ive changed without leading it on too much. I miss her terribly and every day i know i need to be strong but my emotions just end up taking over. Today i called my daughter and she was watching tv so was distracted, the only thing i managed to get from her was "guy is coming over tommorrow daddy" ....it cut me so deep i dont know what to do. My wife means the world to me, and it just feels like she doesnt care about my feelings or about my life, only herself and this new guy, now that im starting to ramble, does anyone have any opinions/comments on how to deal with this? either a: help on getting her back or b: ideas on how to get through all the pain especially when it comes to my daughter having this new guy in her life too? i would also appreciate if someone would clarify if this looks like a rebound relationship or not? because she said she wanted to be single and a month later is in another relationship, but on the other hand says that she hasnt loved me for about a year....


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

So I hate to tell you this but it sounds like to me she has been seeing this guy longer than you know of. It sure smells of an affair to me. Their relationship has taken off way to fast.

Writing here helps, reading what others are going through helps, keeping busy also helps. If you are having trouble sleeping Tylenol Pm helped me. Try to stay away from booze as that really makes the pain worse. 

This is really going to be a painful time for you, but on the bright side you are young, you will recover from this.

If you want to try to reconcile the relationship I would look up a member known as Affair Care and read some of her posts and maybe think about talking to her. Even if you dont think she was envolved in an affair before she is now as you are still legally married.


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

Move back in man. What's stopping you? Are you paying bills as well as her? You have a right to be in your own home. She wants to have the affair - no need to make it easy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

"Too many chances and won't let you try again." It sounds like you ignored her for a long time and now that you've lost what you had, you are sad and regretful. That is understandable but unfortunately, it is not a situation likely to be remedied. All you can do is make improvements in yourself FOR YOURSELF, vow to do better next chance you get (with her or with someone else), pray, and hope for the best. "Making improvements" in yourself is a full-time job, which should distract from what you are missing--keep busy and re-direct yourself if you start to dwell on the past. Good luck.


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

thanks for the help so far guys, today after 2 months i actually had a sorta getting over it feeling, in the past week or so Ive stopped contacting her apart from seeing my daughter and Ive started excersing more, even changed my hair color today and think its helped a bit cuz i got Grey hair so young! the emotions do keep coming back but like you all say and from what i have red just need to work on myself, not only does this help myself but also helps her to see Ive changed and if she doesn't like it someone else will! I know this hurt wont go away anytime soon, especially with my daughter and how i feel for my wife even with her being with another man. But at least i had the first sign today that i can be happy again...i hope.i could say more emotional depressing stuff right now but i think if i act stronger it will help immensely.


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

Ok, i feel like if i write this down even if noone replys it will help me, today i feel so much worse, i woke up having dreamt about her and then i made it worse by reading more on here, all the storys of how no matter what people did it didnt change anything, yes there are success stories but it seems like the majority of people especially the ones that initiated the separation/divorce dont let go of the past. I cant help but feel like at the moment no matter what i do will help me get my family back together because my ex is seeing another guy. a little more on what has happend in detail might help some people understand and hopefully others can read this and either realise what not to do before and after a separation. Over the past year i became too complacent i guess, we never really went to each others family outings, i played computer games too much and didnt show her how special she was to me, i think i acted like this because instead of her telling me what was happening, it just came across as arguments about mundane things. And even when she did mention small things, i just told her she was being silly. I stayed up till god knows what times and always went to bed after she had. I know exactly where i went wrong and because of this i feel ashamed of myself and hate myself for letting it come to this. My feelings for her have never really changed since the day we met. But living together with limited work made us argue more than show each other love. When i was asked to leave i did, and shortly after i didnt really do much for about 2 weeks, just pretended like it didnt happen. Then when i saw no actions from her and started to think more, i lost it, started the whole take me back for what we had in the past etc. Pleading, begging, the lot. I think this is what drove her to look elsewhere, she found this guy on a computer game and as far as i know 2 weeks later they slept together, since then it has taken me 2 months from the initial separation to actually start the no contact/try get her to see me for what i used to be and can be. So my advice is....dont be stupid! give your love time from the get go...dont push them away it only makes it worse..anyways i will write more later as i have to goto work. I hope that if i write what im going through i can either get help/advice from you lovely people, or in turn through my ramblings someone else will see what to do and not to do if they are in a similar situation to me.....


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

Gilga - Move back home. Do your best and go look onthe Affaricare and MarriageBuilders websites for help in meeting her needs. It may not be too late. Be the best you can be in her presence - even if her actions hurt really, really badly. Work at building the trust back if you can. Set your boundaries my friend and stay off the darn online games. I too used them as an escape and came really close to losing it all too. I don't play at all anymore. I devote that time into making my relationship to my wife and daughters the very best that it can be.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

There is good advice in this thread already.

Your woman, she does not "want to be single". 

She was feeling neglected, and is having an affair.

Unless you were physically threatening her or your daughter, you do not need to be "kicked out" of your own house. That is ridiculous.

What you need to do:

1. Stop any begging, pleading, whining, "I'll be better" nonsense. Regardless of anything your woman has said, your marriage vows did not include some fine print allowing your woman to have an affair and kick you OUT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE and separate you from your daughter just because she was feeling neglected. 

2. Get a lawyer. You need to stop the nonsense and wasting time. Your place is in the home, with your daughter, and if your woman wants to work on the marriage, then go to counciling together. If she wants to run around with another man, she can do that in her own place on her own dime, AFTER the divorce.

3. Continue to work on yourself, your appearance, pursue YOUR goals and dreams and desires that are in YOUR best interest.

Whether or not you work things out with your wife, it will be impossible to work anything out as long as she is having an affair, and you are behaving in ways that enable her affair.

I know this is a hard time for you now, but there are many on this site to give good advice to deal with affairs.

I wish you well.


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

this post is probably going to be very morbid and depressing, but am gonna write it anyway. 
I screwed up today...i had a whole week with no contact apart from organising visiting my daughter. i finished work and messaged my wife saying she could bring my daughter over for the night now. My wife rang me and mentioned what is happening for christmas, i said that i asked awhile back if i could be there for christmas morning to see my daughter open her presents under i guess our now old tree. She said that she wants this new guy to be there christmas eve. I instantly said ill come pick my daughter up and will talk more there. I rushed over and walked in the door kept telling myself to be calm, but seeing my wife after this whole week also knowing that this new guy is going to replace me on christmas morning....i instantly broke down and started arguing and crying and trying to force emotions from her again. Everything that i said to myself i wouldnt do. Now i feel even more hopeless, i guess i still havent accepted anything, i still miss my wife and cant accept that i will never have her love again. I did all this breaking down infront of my daughter and now i feel like the worst father too. Everyone tells me to forget my wife, to accept it and move on, i just dont feel that happening. I cant forget her because i still love her and i hate myself for not showing her that over the past year. I have alot of soul searching that i need to do, but at the moment with no friends, my family are there but i dont wanna listen to them at all, i write on this site and see the replys and still ignore them,i feel like a pathetic human being right now, trying to find someone, anyone that feels sorry for me, yet i dont even deserve it. As people read this they probably just think wow this guy really is pathetic, i dont know why im even writing this on here, i should be writing it in a journal. i just feel so empty and alone and dont see a future, even tho i should be strong for my daughter and myself, it just all looks too unbearable right now. Im sorry to whomever is reading this rambling.


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## blownaway (Dec 11, 2010)

you're putting an awful lot of blame directly on yourself. regardless of how things were in the marriage, you did not force your wife to have an affair. you did not literally push her into the arms of someone else. if she was truly unhappy and wanted to end it, she could have done that before adding this horrible layer of hurt on top of things. you unfortunately can't just forget her. this is like a death, worse actually, because the body is still up and walking around. she kicked you when you were down by asking a new person to be around your child on christmas morning. that is just cruel. at this point, things are going to look dark for a while - you have been traumatized so it isn't going to go away in a few weeks. get yourself into counseling and take it moment by moment. break downs are nothing to be ashamed of. one person can only take so much. just try not to do it in front of your child again. i'm sorry you're feeling so bad, but reading the posts on here has helped me. you're definitely not alone.


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

Thx for the comments blownaway...I dont know why, but i still dont see it as an affair, am i still too trusting of her? the whole story is, she didnt feel love for me for a year or so (or so she says) already tried a week seperation about a month before the current separation. During the 1st month i did the whole pining thing, trying to win her back, and when that didnt work i went to another state to be with my dad. She was going to this guys house on the day i was leaving, she told me not to be jealous and that his sister would be there too, not that it didnt stop me from thinking every possible scenario under the sun. Then 2 days after i called her and i forced it out of her. i came back like 2 days later because i thought i could force her to love me again, instead she spent the entire weekend with this guy and has done so every weekend since. AS far as she has told me, she knew him for about 2 weeks before she slept with him, which was about 3 weeks after all this bs separation started to happen. What i guess im trying to say is, do i trust her too much? making myself believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel with her is misguiding my judgement? She said "it just happend" to me, i dont think she would lie about it, but thats the old person i knew, this new one doesnt seem to care at all about my feelings. Yet i still cant stop loving her. I think in her mind she had ended it with me, and had wanted to move on along time ago or at least find someone that shows her love and affection like i used to show her, thats why its been so easy for her to fall in love again? I honestly think this is a rebound and it wont work, which gives me hope but maybe im just lulling myself for the fact that i miss her and on the other hand, i just keep thinking....someone else has been with her...

im going to counseling on monday....i know i need to..i know everything i NEED to do or should do. But at this present time im holding onto hope that it will all just go away and things will be fine with her again.


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

does anyone feel as i do? i feel like hitting my head against a brick wall, my daughter is currently with me at my mums house, i know what i should be doing, spending time with her, but while im here my wife is with the other guy, cuddling doing god knows what else. 
My mum keeps saying that i need to get over it. Yet its taking every ounce of my strength not to swear and carry on at her. My mum did exactly what my wife is doing, left my dad and went with another guy. How can someone treat the one that they married with so much coldness? 
my wife talks about my daughter with me and that is all, when i break down infront of her she laughs because im crying. then tells me to get out. its been 2 and a half months, i was making progress yet i still break down infront of her. i just want all this to go away. 
I send her text messages asking what time do i bring my daughter back tommorrow, she doesnt send anything back. Yet through all these actions. i cant help but love her. I know why im here, i know my mistakes. Why does the one who initiates the separation not give a damn about the other...


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## blownaway (Dec 11, 2010)

First, don't listen to your mother. You can't just get over it. If you were still happily married and your wife suddenly passed away, would people tell you to just get over it a few months later? Not in a million years. It's the same thing here - people in your life have to realize that you are grieving and they have to let you do that. If they don't, you have to push them to the side for now. That's hard with your mom, but you are not unusual by any stretch because you are not skipping down the street whistling. Second, I don't understand how people can be so cruel, but your wife is cruel. She has already moved on if she's focused on another man and that's why she doesn't care that your feelings are hurt and that you are crying. It's very mean and a bad way to set the tone for many years to come - you still have to deal with each other because of the child. Just hang in there and focus on things one minute at a time. Know that you are not alone and things you are feeling are normal. You will feel better once you get to your counselor and you start to talk with someone who can help.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Please tell your wife that Xmas morning with the other guy is absolutely off the table--it is *horrible* for your daughter that she is bringing this other man into the girl's life so soon. The daughter will attach to him and if/when they break up, the daughter has another loss. It will teach the daughter very negative things about building relationships with men. Make sure your wife gets the message that this is not about her and her new man--it's about what is good for your daughter. Most books and therapists recommend waiting 6 months of dating to introduce a new person into the child's life. Ask her to respect that and offer to have your child with you anytime wife wants to date.

If wife won't comply and you don't have a legal order to have your daughter for Xmas eve, get one. Get a lawyer and file a petition to have custody of the child for Xmas eve and Xmas day.


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

If my wife is anything like what i remember, asking for my daughter christmas eve / day will only make this so much worse... and the problem is, here, the courts are closed over christmas, it is way too late to organize a court order...i know that its too soon to bring another guy into my daughters life, and she IS already getting attached to him. 
She talks about him like he is a saint and spends time with her, the other day, she grabbed my face with both hands and goes "its ok daddy, (guy's name) loves me" i know she is only 3 but that just plain hurt. 
Am going to the counscellor a day earlier, i cant take it anymore. Talking to my parents isnt helping because they went through what i went through but never actually got over each other.

This isnt a separation as she first stated, this is an execution. Congratulations, she has killed a part of me that i will never be able to get back.


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## blownaway (Dec 11, 2010)

You are right that your soul has now been altered and there is a piece of you that will never be the same. Execution is a good name for it - that's what it feels like. But, my counselor told me today that this is pain in the short run. If you do what you need to in order to take care of yourself - go to therapy, surround yourself with supportive people, take care of your child, try to focus on work - you have more potential than your wife to be happy in the long run. Although it doesn't seem like it now and I'm sure you'll think that I'm full of b.s., pain in the short term can equal happiness in the long run. This is trauma and you need to go into crisis management mode, but once the horrible shock and hurt wears a bit, you can begin to see you a little more. I'm not sure what to tell you about the other person coming to see your child on Christmas morning. That is simply cruel and not in this child's best interests. Your wife knows she has control and is using that to her advantage.


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

i think my biggest problem is i still want my wife back, although i probably know that there is no chance because of a: she says she doesnt love me anymore and b: the way this whole thing has gone down. 
My biggest problem is i never saw a lawyer i never signed anything, i let her keep all the stuff cuz i thought it was best for my daughter. Now that its been 2 and a half months its gonna be even harder to get anything, including arrangements for my daughter, im going to goto the councilor, im gonna get a lawyer. 
im gonna be strong during this and your right, i will end up happy one day. i hope at least. and when she finally grows up and realises the way she has gone about all this, not that i should, but i hope she feels as much pain as i am in right now, wait, no i dont, because noone should have to go through this. I feel sorry for all the people that have been through similar to me. I really do.


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## Broken_Angel (Feb 21, 2010)

i cant really offer any advice other than what has already been given to you, i just wanted to offer my support.

im going through the same kind of thing as you, other than we do not have kids, so there is nothing forcing us to have contact.. my husband just keeps stamping on my heart with his lies and broken promises.

please dont feel bad for feeling sorry for yourself from time to time, and dont ever think your pathetic. everytime i speak to my husband, i beg him and plead with him, and tell him it will be different this time and cry and cry and cry... and i know all along he is just playing me, but even still, i would have him back in a heartbeat. 

there are so many wonderful people on here that can help you through this, with either advice or support, but you must never think you are alone (eventhough this is the loneliest place in the world for you right now)

please take care of yourself, and keep posting on here, it really does help.

xxx


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

Ok so, last night i gave her a letter, stating that i have always loved her, want to be her friend, everything that i loved about her and apologizing for the year or so that i didnt pay attention to her. there was more but it was just general ill be there for you etc.
For once, since we split up, she showed emotions....she has agreed to be friends, she even started to actually talk properly about how we split up, i even added that she was part to blame and she agreed....
I dont know wether i have gained false hope from this or real hope. Because the way she opened up shows me that there may be a chance of getting her back...
On the other hand, she is still seeing this other guy and not only that, but on christmas day, her plans are to meet his parents!! they have only been seeing each other for about 2 months...not only that but she started with him only about a month or so after our split....
Is this good or bad? i cannot say, i would however very much appreciate anyone elses views on this matter....
I can forget she has been with another guy, it hurts me, dont get me wrong, but i believe that she is worth getting back. If i continue to be her friend, be the happy self i once used to be and let her know im there for her....
In the meantime i have not stopped making myself strong for me, and im also going out etc, but this has given me hope for her again....am i being stupid?


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## Broken_Angel (Feb 21, 2010)

Every body needs hope, so no you are bot being stupid, just be careful not to get your hopes up too high incase you get hurt again. It does sound promising though, That she is seeing changes in you and commenting in them, maybe she will see what you can be like and miss you enough to try again? Who knows?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

Take it slow - Might want to check out Marriage Builders - Check out the His Needs Her Needs stuff - Love Busters, Plan A (which you should be doing right now!!!!), Plan B, etc. 

Affaricare is another very good site. 

The big thing is being the best you that YOU can be. Regardless of how this turns out. You'll be able to look in the mirror and say - it's her loss. You'll also be the loving dependable Father your daughter needs. 

This is tough stuff my friend. It took me 3 years to wake up to the kind of abuse I was dishing to my wife and kids. Fortunately, I was given a second chance and she never moved out. She did however, check out of the marriage. We separated in the same house - separate rooms. No sex - no touching, kissing or hugging. We rarely spoke and if we did, it was about something critical with the kids. Even now almost a year later, I'm still trying to regain the trust that I lost. 

Don't lose hope man. Sometimes its all you got and you know what? - sometimes that's enough. Keep those good thoughts of your daughter to carry you through.


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

Ok, so ive gone down the be friends with wife thing, till this all blows over with the other man, which i know it will. My wife has called a mediated meeting between myself, my mum, and her parents.Im assuming this is to discuss the treatment of my daughter and how my wife is afraid to call my house because of my mum.
I have two options the way i see it, i can either a: say only a few words...."she knows how i feel about all this, what shes gonna do is what shes gonna do, just stop bringing my daughter into it with this new man so quickly"
or b: Tell her and her parents how laughable this situation is, how stupid and immature everyone is acting, i gaurantee you if i did this to my wife i would be the worst person in the world, but i am handling it this way, im gonna wait till my wife sees the error of her ways, i know she has emotions for me, i know ive changed. And this OM is wayyy more controlling obsessive than i ever was, theyve already had one argument that i know of, hell she even told me, that he told her exactly how i would try to get her back. The jokes on him. 
In the meantime, ive changed, i know that, im better person because of this, as much as everyone thinks im being stupid for still holding on to her, i am willing to make it work one day, she just needs time to figure out herself. 
I will still be going out, meeting new people etc, but for the time being i will be here for her. Because i know i can be the man i should have been over the past year and then some more. And as for my daughter? im a better father because of this too, what you are doing atm will affect the rest of her life, and i will not stand by and let that happen.
Please tell me if anyone thinks im being more stupid than it looks lol.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

If you haven't given everything away in an actual divorce settlement, then nothing else matters--you can get back whatever you really need/want. Remember to keep your daughter at the center especially when you are most angry or hurt, b/c every action you take will have an impact on your daughter. Accept that your daughter needs both of you in her life and, although you may not like your wife's choices (understatement, I know) and may think they are inherently damaging to your daughter, no court will agree. So don't fight that game unless wife has a criminal record of recent days and your child's physical safety is at risk (which does not sound like it is). 

Yes, your wife is probably making a mistake by bringing a new man into d's life so early. BUT, it is possible the new relationship will last, and it does not hurt to have another loving adult in your daughter's life. By keeping good tabs on your daughter, never making her feel she has to choose between parents, providing a safe and loving home for her with you on your days, and keeping a good relationship about your daughter with your S2BX, you are doing a good job as a dad AND helping your daughter with all the change. If, at any point, you suspect that the child is suffering from having this OM in her life, you can take action then. But just b/c he may be doing things differently it does not mean he's doing "wrong." 

Sounds like you are doing a lot of things right. Don't be surprised if you discover you like being single, or find yourself developing feelings for another woman. It's an outcome that surprises a lot of people, but because you are accepting responsibility for your life and facing it head on, you'll discover strengths in yourself and you'll be more attractive to others. If your wife likes what she sees and she realizes she's made a mistake, you'll be in a better position to work on the marriage from a position of strength. Good luck!


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

this will probably be my last post for awhile....not that ive probably helped anyone, or taken much of the advice and actually used it...maybe someone can see this post and see how to make things worse, to learn from my mistakes....
we had the parental meeting....i broke down again...even tho i tried to be strong.....plain and simply i still haven't come to the full realization that i will never have my wife back....Ive held onto hope too much....having the parents there has only made me realize that my stbx wife means it...where as my stbx wife tried to not hurt me by being nice to me...i wish she had of hurt me a bit more right now...because it would have been better than this...but on the other hand maybe i was just too blinded.
She fell out of love for me along time ago...and has been putting up with it for awhile, in all honesty i should give her thanks for holding out for this long, i was never physically abusive, i got angry and had verbal arguments but never too over the top...my problem was...i stopped paying attention, i stopped communication (sure it was both of us but i still think i was the major part) i played too many video games. i distanced myself...and now im paying for it. Yes im going to learn from my mistakes....
im going to be a better man, and im gonna love my daughter unconditionally....but i need to let my wife go..i need to face this and stop playing stupid ill get her back one day games.
Alot of people coming to this site are gonna see this and think well how will i get my wife/husband back? plain and simply...don't let it get to this stage....if it does get to this stage...keep ur cool...don't break down....be strong from the start and keep communication open...i hate to say this...sometimes you just have to learn when to let go, otherwise your going to drag yourself, your kids and your stbx down a dark hole no one wants to see...

i try to sleep at night and i just end up crying....it will get easier over time i know this, doesn't stop me feeling like this right now....

I miss my wife....


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## PEYTONS A WINNER (May 24, 2018)

Sounds like she maybe done with the bothe of your marrage, to me. I have been married for 27 years and have been with my wife long enough that i think i can help you on this one. Lots of marrages tend to follow a very close patern as the years go by. We are all human and usually go through a lot of the same experiances and changes , good and bad, in a marrage. The difference between good and bad, sadly , is that we never tend to over anolize or stress over the good times but, we usually tend to make a personal evaluation on the status and or strength of our love and marrage when we are suffering from the bad times that we all go through during the cource of a marrage. It is really hard to figure out where things go wrong such as they have in your marrage, but don't feel alone you are not the only one experiencing a problem like this. 
Many, many other marrages are suffering from marital problems such as yours and lots of times even worse.you might even be suprised to find out how many other marrages are suffering also. My point is not to make you feel bad, of course not, but to kind of inform you or even remind you that when you see that all people go through hard times and even very hard times during the duration of a marrage it can tend to make you feel like , well, maybe our problemed marrage and the seemingly hopeless situation you find yourself in is alot more commen than you might think.
I usually find that reaching out beyond the confinds of a persons marrage and excepting information ,you might even find on the internet, can really help you and enlighten you, right from the begining ,when you start to try and figure out why and how did we get here in our marrage.
Most of the time when two people start to fall apart and even away from each other , in a marrage , it usuall started happening a little further back than you might think. So, it can be kind of a challenge to figure out how do i get het back when i haven't even figured out how i lost her in the first place. The one thing you do have to understand is that she did not leave you because she wanted to be alone, all of a sudden. That was just an excuse , she came up with, to justify her intentions of leaving you at the time. It was sort of like she tried to think of the most easiest and most compassionate way to break it to you that she wannted to just be alone. Well, for one thing , nobody really wants to be alone and neither did she that was very evident in the fact that she opened her heart to another person so quickly. See , if you think about it she left you to be alone for a while but accually just moved on to another person rather quickly.
My belief is that , she didn't really want to be alone in the first place . I think that because she found another guy so quickly leads a person to believe that she left you because there was something so very important to her , at this point in her life or in your two's marrage , that she
was not getting from you, so she found a very suddle and polite way , or even as an excuse to leave you. This is accually a good thing for you , under the circumstances, because this well reserved and peiceful aproach she took with her excuse to leave you sounds like she didn't really want to hurt your feelings and most likely still loves you because she showed alot of compassion in thinking of a way to break it to you that she was leaving. This even shows me that what ever it is that you are not giving her , she feels, is so painfull that she is willing to step outside of the marrage to get it. Probably hoping in the end that you will take her back, because she , really didn't want to leave you but she wasn't getting this certain thing from you , and i believe that what ever it is she would rather get it from you, but she is not and is probably right. Though it is a terrible thing to step outside of your marrage to get what you want or whatever it is that she feels she is not getting and is , desperately , missing. So, the way she stepped out on you sais a lot , a hole lot. If you think about it. The fact that she needs something so bad that she is willing to step outside of the marrage to get it means if you really think about it, it is probably something you are aware of or know that she is missing because , my friend, she is going to extreams to get it and this is probably something she has presured you about for a while , but is still not getting and it is acking inside of her so bad she is willing to go this far to get it. This means when she satisfies that itch that she has, whatever it is, she will probably be free of that presure that she was feeling and start being her self again, and that means that she is going to be drawn back to you , because you are the one she wanted in the first place and she probably would have liked to satisfy that itch with you and probably only you. But, sadly, she went about it in a way that will bring real deep scars to you if you get back with her which is an oppertunity that i think you will definetly have , here soon ! The only real question is that when that time comes are you prepaired to forgive her for doing one of the most aggregous and hainous thing that a person can do to their spouse. I think you know what i am talking about, huh !!. When that time comes when the itch is scratched and she realizes that this is all she probably see's in this other person she is going to start thinking " what the hell have i done, my god ! ", but it will probably lead her back home, to you which is just what you wanted. And i do believe this is what will happen here real soon. The only problem is that she is going to come back home with such a hard thing for you and her to deal with , infact it will probably destroy the relationship and i mean badly !!!. I don't feel that you both will beable to overcome that pain that will be there, absolutely, no dougtht about it and it will take everything you have and everything she has and probably alittle bit more to overcome this. Be prepaired , because as i layed this out for you,it will probably suprise you how perfect i hit the nail on the head. You will go through everything that i just mentioned. But, there is still always hope. It just depends on if you really can forgive her, i mean really forgive her !!! And if you can look for a little help from the man up above for guidance and her also. It will defenately strain both of you on the road to forgiveness and trust and tolerance to get that back again , between both of you, it will be unbelievably challenging and you might even think , "i don't want to work this hard" or you just cant get the ability to trust again, because this is a hard thing to get back and reastablish once that part of your relationship has been tarnished. But, good luck and i think this is probably the answer to your request but, i think you will get her back, infact i almost have no doubt, if you do want to take her back the opportunity will surely be there sooner than later. I just feel that the tarnished and violated values that are so important in a sucsessful relationship might be way to unreconsilable, over time. But, i do wish you the absolute best of luck, because you will defwenately need it. I will give you both my best of wishes and will prey for you both every day for a while to come. Good luck my friend and god speed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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