# Slimey kisses



## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

Last night my W described my kisses as slimy. So I just said goodnight and lay down sending her on her way to her bed - we sleep separately. The strange thing was she seemed angry at me! Anyone else get insults like this?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I've told my hubby his kisses were a bit slobbery at times.... maybe thats what she meant? I never said it as an insult though... always laughed about it and kissed him again anyway.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

No we're generally very polite and kind to each other...

She clearly isn't concerned about hurting your feelings. 

Why do YOU think she's angry?


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Haven't read your other posts/threads, but I would be concerned about sleeping in separate beds.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

occasionallybaffled said:


> Haven't read your other posts/threads, but I would be concerned about sleeping in separate beds.


yeah that is a bit odd...


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## tiredandout (Jun 1, 2011)

Frankly, I could see myself getting a bit frustrated in your wife's shoes too, if the conversation went like this:

WIFE: "Honey, I think your kisses are a bit slimy." or "Hey, sometimes it bothers me that your kisses are slimy." 

HUSBAND: —silence— "Goodnight." (exit scene)

Now, of course what she said is not the best way to word it. She could've done a better job — saying "when you kiss there's a lot of saliva which turns me off a bit," for example. But in any case, she did say it and she probably wasn't trying to insult you — she was throwing out a rope that was saying: "Let's talk about this!". You refused to catch it and turned your back at her.

_That_ could make a lady pissy.

I suggest you sit down and have a calm talk about your styles of communicating and how it effects the other person. ("When you say ... I feel ... ") I have had trouble with communication since day 1 in my marriage and it can only get better by TALKING ABOUT IT.

Then again, I don't know what the situation was, so if i'm completely off then just go ahead and ignore.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

tiredandout said:


> WIFE: "Honey, I think your kisses are a bit slimy." or "Hey, sometimes it bothers me that your kisses are slimy."
> 
> HUSBAND: —silence— "Goodnight." (exit scene)
> 
> [/SIZE]


This made me :lol::lol::rofl::rofl:


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

slimey kisses... thats how it's supposed to work. Oh wait that's with my dog. drip drip


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

We sleep apart because: 
1 The house is small, boys in one bedroom, my W & 7 year old daughter sleep in other bedroom (in 2 beds) & I sleep in the living room on the couch.
2 I need to wear a cpap mask to sleep and get up at least once every night.

I don't know why she is angry. I might guess because she wants my kisses to be better or because she hates it when I take the high road and just do something with no argument.

Anyway is it not a great sign of affection when a man gets totally slobbery for his woman?


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

As a follow up today I tried to bring the subject up with my W about her comment. The answer I got was 'hmmmpf' - yes that is the exact sound she made! In fairness she apologized to me later but not for making the comment but because she was feeling tired and went to bed very early last night.

Tonight I wanted to initiate sex so I tried something that W had agreed with in MC. I read an erotic story aloud to her. This was in an effort to wetten her up for sex. The story was very vanilla as far as some erotica goes. By the end the only effect seemed to be that she became red in the face as if the story has embarrassed her. When I tried to kiss her she moved as if very uncomfortable and I had to back away. She told me she is 'just not a sex person' like I am. All I could do was say 'Goodnight Goodnight I love you.' But I think she went to bed angry at me again. Is there any hope for me?


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Ok, Lonesome. You two don't seem to be communicating. When you tried to kiss her and she moved away and said she "just is not a sex person", why didn't you say that sex is import to a marriage and to you in particular. Why didn't you ask how the two of you were going to maintain your marriage if she wan't going to work on the physical relationship. Why didn't you say that a sexless marriage was not an option. that you were open to any suggestion she might have to work on the physical aspect. If she is not willing to work on it than you need to consider the alternatives


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

KanDo I don't feel it would be right to answer my wife in the way you suggest unless I brought it up in MC. My W has extremely low esteem and I think she would feel like I was talking down to her if it was raised outside MC. I need to be gentle as she was abused as a child.

A number of times my W has said to me 'If sex is so important to you why don't you go out and have sex with some other woman and stop pestering me for it.' Yet at other times she taunts me by saying 'You would never be able to go with another woman.' It can be a minefield around her.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I am more interested in knowing why they sleep separately.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

tiny bubbles poped into my head when I read the title.

Just make sure your mouth isn't too wet when you kiss her.

problem solved. or say yea well you have bad breath and kick her in the shin.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

:lol: 

Lovelygirl we sleep apart as I think it inappropriate to sleep in the same room as my 7 year old daughter.


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## rks1 (Jan 27, 2012)

.


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## rks1 (Jan 27, 2012)

.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

Thanks for the lesson on hygiene rks1 but I can assure you that I don't suffer from bad breath. I brush and floss twice a day and use a Colgate 360 toothbrush which I use on my tongue, gums and inside my cheeks. I had a complete dental checkup earlier this year including having a professional cleaning done.

On a further point relating to kissing my W is not a fan of a 2 day growth which she finds very prickly and also if I kiss her neck with or without stubble it 'tickles too much.'


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Lonesome, I haven't commented, I've been sitting on my hands, but oh wow. No, this is not right, and this is not good. None of it.

Not my life, not my business. But I wouldn't be putting up with it.


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## seriously_yours (Apr 16, 2012)

lonesomegra said:


> Last night my W described my kisses as slimy. So I just said goodnight and lay down sending her on her way to her bed - we sleep separately. The strange thing was she seemed angry at me! Anyone else get insults like this?


:lol:
Oh the minutia of everyday life and the drama that surrounds it.
One night while fooling around just a little my HFG asked me why I was spitting in her mouth.... 
I could have been insulted, but chose to take it as a challenge
I just limbered up and covered her face with a ridiculously slobbery tongue lashing... suddenly a little spit in her mouth was not such a bad thing 
Then we went to bed and made out like bandits....

Moral of the story - Push through these little awkward moments- 
or
- Sometimes you need to let the little head think for you -

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
_what you do speaks so loud, I can't hear what you say_


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

I do understand that I might be making a mountain out of a molehill but I think through MC I've come to recognise that certain small indicators can be the tip of the iceburg. I am trying not to give up on my W but I am afraid that I might throw in the towel if stuff like this continues on. 

I will also admit that in the past I have kissed my W at inappropriate times such as when I have been totally lathered with sweat and my lips taste very salty. But this was not the case this particular time.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Her: "Honey, sometimes your kisses are kind of slimy"

You: "Really? Show me what I am doing wrong" 

(Kiss, deeper, deeper, deeper)

You: "Was that better? Can you show me again?"

(Kiss again, deeper, deeper, deeper)

You: " I was wondering if you could show me the best way to rub your boobs as well"

(rub, rub, rub per instructions.)

You: "Wow, that's great! While we're in a teaching moment here, I'd like to let you know what I like during a BJ. You've been so kind to show me what you like, the least I could do is retun the favor........."


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

lonesomegra said:


> Last night my W described my kisses as slimy. So I just said goodnight and lay down sending her on her way to her bed - we sleep separately. The strange thing was she seemed angry at me! Anyone else get insults like this?


lonesomegra,

Sure. Your wife is searching for a (present) reason to explain her feeling(s) and this what she comes up with. It has nothing to do with your or your kisses and everything to do with her previous life experiences and feelings caused by these experiences that manifest themselves in the present. There is probably no married person who has not experienced this to some degree whether they know it or not.

The question we need to explore is why you feel insulted and how we can learn to let it go.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Serious question ...

Based upon your other posts, are you reading between the lines on this or do you really think it's a simple inappropriate comment about how you kiss?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

lonesomegra said:


> A number of times my W has said to me 'If sex is so important to you why don't you go out and have sex with some other woman and stop pestering me for it.' Yet at other times she taunts me by saying 'You would never be able to go with another woman.'


The moisture content of your kisses is likely the least of your problems.

In my book, the above is HUGE. Of course she doesn't like your kisses; she has very little respect for you.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

No respect, no attraction.

It's painfully, and unfortunately quite simple.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

To further expand on my wife's background, her parents split up when she was young but never divorced and both her sisters' marriages have broken up. She is actually doing well hanging in there with me. There are some great moments of attraction between us but perhaps when her batteries are running low she gets very grouchy and lashes out. 

Hey I am no great shakes myself and for a long period of time thought it all right to throw 'jokes' at her but suddenly I realised that the 'jokes' were no longer funny but were starting to hurt. I have made a huge effort to correct this behaviour and made a sincere apology to her in MC for my past words. I don't know if I let these actions linger too long and my wife is finding it harder than me to break the habit of throwing insults. 

As many have pointed out I need to learn the art of real communication and find a way to speak up if I find W's words hurtful or down-putting. I need to learn to phrase my feelings in a fashion that does not cause rancour.


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