# Switching off from work



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I think I asked this question before, quite a few times in my life actually. However, my past solution (alcohol) is no longer a solution as I've quit. Since then, cold turkey, I've been having difficulty switching off from work, I've made conscious decisions to stop myself, but it always creeps up. I am thinking more clearly and less stupidified however I can't focus on any time with my wife or my daughter. I need ideas and suggestions


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## enso (Jun 9, 2012)

What I do is switch off all gadgets. I try to plan daily mini activity with family and start to focus on that ( ie, sports, tennis,movie..etc.) and if my mind wonders back to work I think what is really important in life.


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## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

take you wife and daughter to some place that has nothing to do with work. Goto a park, the beach, etc.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

work gives me a real sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, etc.
But when I found something else that also did that... I did better at finding a work\life balance.

For me, it was climbing mountains. Personal accomplishment that had nothing to do with work. Just me and my body. 

Which kinda came down to having some goals in life. Personal ones. And using some of my passion for that. 

things you can do as a family that distract your mind....
Scheduling time. That makes it mandatory for you to be there.

Board games! One night a week that is board games or something based on your daughter's level. 

Going for a walk together every evening. 

Getting a family pet.

Going swimming together


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Disconnecting is really important. In our "always on" society of email, text messages, and smart phones, our jobs sometimes expect us to to always be reachable. This causes the line between work and personal life to blur. The first thing you might think about is turning off email to your phone. You might also want to have a sit down with your boss. A good boss will (hopefully) understand your position and should help you take steps to disconnect. Ask him/her to take your cell number out of any contact records, or at least not to contact you unless in case of emergency. Make sure to hammer out exactly what the two of you define as emergency.

As others have said, getting a hobby is also a great idea. Something you really have a passion for and really get lost in. It would be especially great if it was some hobby that you could involve your family in.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yeah, I haven't taken them out for a while on family trips to town or anything. Guess that's something I have to schedule and stick to it.
As for work it's difficult because I'm the owner too - so its not like I can switch off my phone cause if something happens I might lose money!

Thanks guys though, I'll see what I can do with these suggestions.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

RD, 
Can you plan stuff outside of regular working hours, or do you have working hours? Does your biz run 24 \ 7?


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Knoxvillekelly said:


> take you wife and daughter to some place that has nothing to do with work. Goto a park, the beach, etc.


This...change clothes and get out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MWD (Jul 16, 2012)

I can completely identify with the OP's post. I work in the oilfield and am gone for over a month at a time and home for a couple weeks at a time. It is incredibly difficult to turn off work mode. What enso says is great advice. I need to do more of that. If I do not shut down my phone and computer, I would never get out of work mode. I get an immediate adrenaline rush when I get a text or call from work and am immediately back in the 'work mode'. 

When we went on our honeymoon, we discarded all computers and cell phones. After the withdrawal,(which wasn't much) I enjoyed the time with my wife. I really should spend more time focussing on disconnecting from work when I am home. Fortunately I have an understanding appreciative wife who says she loves my drive. But to be a better husband I am working on spending more time in 'Husband and Dad' mode than work mode. 

-MWD


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## AbsolutelyFree (Jan 28, 2011)

Just as a side note...

I think RandomDude deserves some props. Since he arrived on the forum, he has countless times expressed huge amounts of frustration and struggle. Some people even thought he was just a troll. Although his emotions pushed him up to the brink, amazingly, he didn't give up. To me, that shows that he is trying very, very hard.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

start with a board game!!!
great quality bonding time.
you have to think in rotation, so it makes you focus a little better.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

We're open early morning till late, and I just established a bar so lots of work - just started recently too since I quit the booze (Ironic isn't it?)

I seem to have fresh new ideas when sober, ambition too, no time to waste. On the booze it seems I'm more laid back and take one day at a time and enjoy a bit of life. Without it for some time now I'm 'switching'...

Just had a mini-fight with my wife too, well not really a fight, just a "heated conversation". I'm back on workaholism it seems, even though I'm not really needed at work heh... In fact, I'm mucking everything up, as the old saying goes "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", well, I'm fixing it till it IS heh

Now everyone's pissed, including my workers, but I'm realising my mistake. When I come home, I keep thinking of work, thinking of expansion, looking at property, thinking of money, thinking of the future, etc etc...

BUT!!!!

I arranged for a camping trip next week to get the hell away from civilisation and life for a while with the missus and my little angel as the only two people important in my world. The missus doesn't enjoy camping much compared to me but this has got her off my back for the time being at least


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

The best advice I ever heard about switching of from the daily grind of everyday work is to do just that... Switch off. As soon as you get home, crawl into your man cave or a quiet room where you have nothing to distract you, and just relax. Many people just trade one kind of stress for another without a break when they get home. Think if it as power nap without sleeping. You'd be surprised at how taking just 10-15 minutes for yourself before supper can prepare ou for the rest of the evening.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

That's what I used to do, crawl into my man cave and booze up. Now I crawl into my man cave and spend my nights trying hard to switch off. The missus and I are both not really in the mood for our little trip since our last fight but at least our daughter is excited so fun fun


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## DDC (Jul 16, 2012)

If you can work it into your schedule, a half an hour of lap swimming after work and before you meet your family is a great idea. It will help you feel better, look better, live longer, and provides a healthy transition space to make the adjustment from work to home. It's also easier on your liver.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's too cold atm for swimming heh, though I guess I can always make it to the spa... if I'm not disturbed along the way from the door to the spa that is. The missus is feeling better that I've made an effort to spend time with our family, and our little one is happy so things are back to smooth sailing.

I'm dealing with trying to stabilise my emotions at the moment. At times I just feel disgusted even being touched by my wife but it's nothing to do with her - I just don't want anything touchy feely, then other times I think about her, and all I want is to hold her.

I seem to be back onto "rollercoaster" mode and it ain't healthy. I don't know if I'm simply a horrible sober person or not but so many things are just getting worse as time goes by without my old habit. To compensate I've disciplined myself to ask myself what my wife does for me each day and how good she is to me -> which has helped remind me to actually bother to show my love to her

Hopefully the missus will continue to be patient with me until I find out about who I am without the booze.


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