# Workplace affair advice



## MenMarsWomenVenus (Nov 16, 2015)

Have you cheated at work with a co-worker? I need your help to catch my wife, I can't live like this anymore so I would really appreciate a woman or man telling me all the tricks and tips they used? I guess the "I was in a meeting" works well for cheaters who are untouchable for a few hours on the phone, does for my wife anyway.

Please help me catch her, I deserve better than this.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

OK. We are sorry you are here, but glad you found us.

First search for the Standard evidence gathering thread.

And never show your hand too early. 

Others will be along soon with other help. 

By the way with us on your side you will never be alone. 

We have your back. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> OK. We are sorry you are here, but glad you found us.
> 
> First search for the Standard evidence gathering thread.
> 
> ...


Here...http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html

When you come back please give us more details so we can help you better.


----------



## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

It would be best to keep to one thread about this situation.

A mod can move your other one here (cwi).
I want to see you get the help you need.

Elegirl us a mod pm her and she will do it for you. Here is a link to her profile. Send her a private message with your request.

Talk About Marriage - View Profile: EleGirl


I have a link to the newbie thread (to read) and the, "Standard Evidence" thread below.

Using a voice activated recorder (VAR) is one of the best way in this case (see standard evidence post)
Double velcro it under the seat in car or hide in acroom where she goes to have a private talk.

Get an extra one if you want to swap it.

Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

VAR her car. You need to get out of limbo hell. These are relatively cheap.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Can you borrow someone's car and sit in the parking lot at lunchtime and see if they go to lunch together? (Or go anywhere else....)


----------



## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Sorry you are here man.

Maybe this post will not help you but I hope you got some picture.

I work at the Clinic here in Frankfurt and there is a lot of cheating going on,especially at night shifts.

They dont care about husbands or wifes,they only care about themselfs.

I saw this woman accidently giving a blowj.. She is in her late 40s and after the work her husband was there to pick her up with their kids.

I wanted to cry,belive me. I wanted to tell this husband what is going on,but could not reach him. 
I was trying to find his e-mail but was not able to do it,because of some co-worker policy.

Another wife caught her husband just by puting some VARs in his car,so she was able to listen to him before and after the work. It was awful,he got fired just like OW and there was a lot of mess going around.


So my advice is to always keep your eyes open,work affairs are so hard to find.

Buy some VARs
Check her e-mails,phone records
Watch her behaviour.


Stay strong my friend


----------



## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Checkmate her panties and maybe the car seats.


----------



## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

Sorry you are here. Going hi-tech = VAR (Voice Activated Recorder) or go low-tech: count her undies, are there 15 and then all of a sudden there's 13? Check Nooks and Cranny's for hidden items, toys, provocative clothing, notes, letters, hidden cell phone. Keep your findings to yourself but keep a log and of course keep that log hidden. Watch your finances and her spending. Keep an eye on the phone bill whenever possible. 

You can get a pen style VAR that actually writes like a pen at Best Buy or your local electronic store. Slip that into her purse and activate it. When she comes home listen in to see what you can hear.

You don't need to spend a fortune on exotic equipment. Your gut and common sense will be your guide.

Good Luck


----------



## finallyready (Jan 7, 2012)

If you want to private message me I can share with you everything that I did. I am nearly a pro at this point. It all started with weightlifters standard advice. When you're ready to go into spy tech mode you will find the truth very quickly.


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Workplace affairs are among the hardest to get proof. If she has her own car, then a VAR under the seat works well. Cheaters tend to communicate over the phone when they think they are alone and no one can hear.

If she does not use a car then you are going to have to find something on her phone or computer. Look at the Standard Evidence thread it is a wealth of good info on how to do this.

Does she travel for work?

I noticed that her standard excuse is "in a meeting". Is that the reason she gives for being late or gone for the day?


----------



## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

My WW only met up with the OM at lunch, and only once or week or less. Never in public (at a friend's apartment), and they took different cars. She told me she was at her friend's house for lunch, which was true. Except her friend wasn't there, her boy friend was. I would have never caught her, except for the 2000 texts a month, she might have got away with it.


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

HarryDoyle said:


> My WW only met up with the OM at lunch, and only once or week or less. Never in public (at a friend's apartment), and they took different cars. She told me she was at her friend's house for lunch, which was true. Except her friend wasn't there, her boy friend was. I would have never caught her, except for the 2000 texts a month, she might have got away with it.


Cheaters almost always leave some trail to follow. Or at least a red flag - like excessive texting or phone calls or suddenly being protective of electronic devices.

Do not confront until you have some solid evidence. Commandment #1 in the cheaters script - Never admit anything. When questioned - lie.

If she suspects that you are getting suspicious, she will be more careful, maybe even stop or slow down meeting for a while. But eventually she will start again.


----------



## MenMarsWomenVenus (Nov 16, 2015)

Hi finally how did I private message you on my phone? In answer to the earlier poster yes she has 1 pair of underwear from this Wednesday missing already! I know she's cheating I can feel it.


----------



## finallyready (Jan 7, 2012)

MenMarsWomenVenus said:


> Hi finally how did I private message you on my phone? In answer to the earlier poster yes she has 1 pair of underwear from this Wednesday missing already! I know she's cheating I can feel it.


I will message you. You should see some kind of notification.


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

MenMarsWomenVenus said:


> Hi finally how did I private message you on my phone? In answer to the earlier poster yes she has 1 pair of underwear from this Wednesday missing already! I know she's cheating I can feel it.


Follow your gut feeling. It is right more often than wrong.

Again. Look at the Standard Evidence thread on this site. Lots of directions of what to look for and more importantly, how to do it.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MenMarsWomenVenus said:


> Hi finally how did I private message you on my phone? In answer to the earlier poster yes she has 1 pair of underwear from this Wednesday missing already! I know she's cheating I can feel it.


Missing underwear could mean something entirely different.

My wife and I were out for a meal at a fast food place and she suddenly jumped up and dashed to the toilet.

She came back 10 to 15 minutes later, grinned, and said: "That could have been awkward! I felt a sudden griping pain in my gut and I s**t myself! I just had to put my panties in the bin in the lady's toilet!"

Now, had I not been with my wife and noticed later that a pair of her panties were missing, what conclusion could I have formed?


----------



## eastsouth2000 (Jul 21, 2015)

VAR(voice activated recorder) in car hidden under the driver seat or hidden behind the front dash or steering column. (dont get caught doing this.)

(dont cheap out on the recorder, get one that has a very long battery life and good microphone.)

also check phone bills. if any particular number keeps coming up.

if you want to be 100% sure hire PI(private investigator).

make a pretend solo vacation/get away like for 5 days to a week.
(would provide the perfect opportunity to catch cheater)

----
If you plan to divorce dont tell her about it.


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Do NOT ask or confront without proof. It only makes cheaters better at hiding.
Most places you only need enough proof for yourself. In about seven states cheating affects alimony and division of property.
VAR is prolly best for this. VAR instructions are in my standard evidence thread.
Do not do anything to a computer or phone that belongs to her company. It begs trouble.
Guspolinsky is our phone/Apple diety.

The standard evidence post has likely taken out hundreds of affairs. It is the wisdom of dozens who came to us before you. Use it.


----------



## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

when I had a workplace A we went out with a work group and stayed later than everyone else to spend time together. (EA) Eventually we went to his place after work. Took separate cars and I stayed a couple of hours which was easy enough to explain away with meetings or shopping. I got a parking ticket a few times but paid it before H saw. 

I would borrow a friends car and wait for her to leave work and see where she goes. IF you give NO indication of your suspicions (easier said than done) they will get bold and sloppy as the fog sets in. Eventually she will slip up. I wish I had more self control and had waited till I had something conclusive.

Take weightlifter and everyone else's advice.
I hope you are wrong ...


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0LE...-at-work/RK=0/RS=0s6bpnQKM2k7K01W2uhX7.xN24E-


----------

