# Selfish in Bed



## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

So, my husband rarely wants to have sex. We're down to once or twice a month. Recently, we went 3 weeks without doing anything and when we finally do something, he asks for oral and then turns me around for anal. And that was that. How freaking disappointing! I had to basically nag him after that, so I could get mine in and that didn't happen til the next day! At this point, it seems that he has no interest in pleasing me and only seeks to please himself and I don't know what to do. Is anal just better to men? Is it fair that I do oral almost every time and he NEVER has? I don't know how much longer I can deal. =(


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## AlphaMale74 (Oct 15, 2014)

That's unfortunate. He doesn't care about you and is selfish. I'll bet he's watching porn and masturbating to it. When he does have sex with you he wants to act out what he's been watching. 
Have a very blunt discussion with him and tell him your frustrations and concerns. If he's willing to learn how to properly please a woman, there's resources out there to help educate men on the matter.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Torn by 2 said:


> So, my husband rarely wants to have sex. We're down to once or twice a month. Recently, we went 3 weeks without doing anything and when we finally do something, he asks for oral and then turns me around for anal. And that was that. How freaking disappointing! I had to basically nag him after that, so I could get mine in and that didn't happen til the next day! At this point, it seems that he has no interest in pleasing me and only seeks to please himself and I don't know what to do. Is anal just better to men? Is it fair that I do oral almost every time and he NEVER has? I don't know how much longer I can deal. =(


*Sounds rather one-sided to me! Think it's time to shut his water off and arrange for marriage/sexual counseling!

And quicker than quick!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pickil65 (Oct 15, 2015)

I personally love anal, but my hubby loves to please me in both ways, he often keeps going after he is done, we have a wonderful sex life, but your anus is tighter than the other so of course it feels better, how long have you been married? It may time for counseling and if his sex drive has gone down that much there is a few reasons why/ 

1) He has a medical problem causing the lack of sex drive 
2) There is an OW sorry to say 

Hopefully it is the first one, but talk to him tell him how you feel about it.


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## aw9d (Feb 17, 2010)

Wow OP I'm sorry to hear this. I have sex with my wife maybe 1 time a month now, if I'm lucky. When we do have it, I make sure that she gets A LOT of attention and that she has a really good time. Your man is being selfish, extremely selfish.


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

pickil65 said:


> I personally love anal, but my hubby loves to please me in both ways, he often keeps going after he is done, we have a wonderful sex life, but your anus is tighter than the other so of course it feels better, how long have you been married? It may time for counseling and if his sex drive has gone down that much there is a few reasons why/
> 
> 1) He has a medical problem causing the lack of sex drive
> 2) There is an OW sorry to say
> ...


I really don't care for it, but i do it for him and don't think I'm asking for much by getting the same in return. We have been married going on 5 years and together for going on 8 years. I'm 25 and he's 27. Lately I have been thinking that there could be someone else, but there's not really any other signs. If I bring up that it could be LD he gets offended.


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

([/QUOTE]

*Sounds rather one-sided to me! Think it's time to shut his water off and arrange for marriage/sexual counseling!

And quicker than quick!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE]

He doesn't believe in counseling, but he also males no attempt to fix anything. I've brought this up a number of times and nothing changes.


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## aw9d (Feb 17, 2010)

Torn by 2 said:


> (


*Sounds rather one-sided to me! Think it's time to shut his water off and arrange for marriage/sexual counseling!

And quicker than quick!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE]

He doesn't believe in counseling, but he also males no attempt to fix anything. I've brought this up a number of times and nothing changes.[/QUOTE]

If you are bringing it up and nothing changes, then its either time to accept that nothing will every change, or make a change yourself and move on.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

With the health problems associated with anal, it's surprising that so many women are into it.

Since you're not getting anything out of sex, don't have it. And, stop giving that pig BJs. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.


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## Omar174 (Mar 12, 2014)

Torn by 2 said:


> So, my husband rarely wants to have sex. We're down to once or twice a month. Recently, we went 3 weeks without doing anything and when we finally do something, he asks for oral and then turns me around for anal. And that was that. How freaking disappointing! I had to basically nag him after that, so I could get mine in and that didn't happen til the next day! At this point, it seems that he has no interest in pleasing me and only seeks to please himself and I don't know what to do. *Is anal just better to men?* Is it fair that I do oral almost every time and he NEVER has? I don't know how much longer I can deal. =(


Not to me it isn't (I've given it to a few women over the years).

I prefer the front door. 

Weird about your husband. Maybe he fantasizes about screwing dudes? :scratchhead:


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Torn by 2 said:


> So, my husband rarely wants to have sex. We're down to once or twice a month. Recently, we went 3 weeks without doing anything and when we finally do something, he asks for oral and then turns me around for anal. And that was that. How freaking disappointing! I had to basically nag him after that, so I could get mine in and that didn't happen til the next day! At this point, it seems that he has no interest in pleasing me and only seeks to please himself and I don't know what to do. Is anal just better to men? Is it fair that I do oral almost every time and he NEVER has? I don't know how much longer I can deal. =(


Would you mind if he watched porn every morning, masturbated, and then had a couple of hours of sex with you that evening, Lots of kissing, foot rub, leg and back rub, oral, 69, PIV, and made sure you had as many orgasm as you were capable of?


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

Not to me it isn't (I've given it to a few women over the years).

I prefer the front door. 

Weird about your husband. Maybe he fantasizes about screwing dudes?







[/QUOTE]

I've thought about this, but of course would hope not. He likes to put his fingers back there, but rarely in the front...


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

Woodchuck said:


> Torn by 2 said:
> 
> 
> > So, my husband rarely wants to have sex. We're down to once or twice a month. Recently, we went 3 weeks without doing anything and when we finally do something, he asks for oral and then turns me around for anal. And that was that. How freaking disappointing! I had to basically nag him after that, so I could get mine in and that didn't happen til the next day! At this point, it seems that he has no interest in pleasing me and only seeks to please himself and I don't know what to do. Is anal just better to men? Is it fair that I do oral almost every time and he NEVER has? I don't know how much longer I can deal. =(
> ...


I really wouldn't mind. At least he'd be making an effort.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Torn by 2 said:


> I really wouldn't mind. At least he'd be making an effort.


I was just trying to make a point....Every post that mentions a man not taking care of his wife gets hit with "He's looking at porn and masturbating"....

Your husband doesn't have a porn problem, he is just totally lazy and inconsiderate of your needs....

You need to explain to him what a sex slob he is being, and cut him off totally.....What do you have to loose? Make it clear to him exactly what you expect, and what you are going to REQUIRE before he is back in the saddle....

You are totally in the right here...


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
was he always like this, or a gradual or sudden change?

He is clearly being selfish and no reason for you to put up with it.

There is another poster here who's husband treats her similarly - wants oral / anal, but won't do anything for her. 


Sadly there are a lot of selfish people out there - but that is no reason to stay married to one.


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

I've never done anal before, but I have put my finger in there and I personally don't think I would care for it. It's really tight at the sphincter, but then nothing. It was like putting my finger inside of an inflated balloon.

With regards to the rest of your post, it seems like he is sexually inept. I'd rather have a partner that tries but isn't necessarily the best, rather than someone who is great but only focuses on their own pleasure, if given the choice.

You need to have a conversation with him, outside of the bedroom. Just bring it up and ask.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Some causes of OP's S behaviour:

spouse might be "in the closet".
spouse might have spent too much time with weirder and weirder porn.
spouse may have been abused as a child, probably by a male, hence those particular "jail house" moves - this includes things like just being groomed or exposed by that kind of porn while young/teen.
spouse may have personal issues or resentments towards women, thus having issues around sexual performance in a dominant role, or inability to be aroused by feminine "attributes" especially "special womenly" ones.
spouse may have been beaten or socially castigated about inappropriate behaviour towards women/women's genitalia, leading to internalisation of the 'punishment abuse'.
spouse may have guilt issues over women, either personally or as social soaking, and thus feel intimidated.
spouse may have insecurities over women, or if from a male orientated background, feel very offput or emotional disturbed by "unnatural" appearance of a womans' non-publicly displayed attributes. Often this on
comes with a demeaning quality, and often, for him, is drenched in a lot of guilt and personal revulsion over his own feelings of desire or need and of failure "to perform as a man".
in some occasions spouse may have relationship on the side, and "oral isn't sex" is fine, and "anal isn't personal/other partner won't offer anal so take the opportunity", and thus intimate connection mentally relates
in the psyche to betrayal.

I know I've missed a few but 1,3,5,6 are very common. And 4 often a problem especially with increasing number of dominant women who can't separate dominant from *****y.


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## karazy (Aug 31, 2015)

Your husband needs that book, "She Comes
First."

Disgustingly selfish.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

karazy said:


> *Your husband needs that book, "She Comes
> First."
> 
> Disgustingly selfish*.


She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman  Great book for young men...to be the best lovers... 

I bought this yrs ago.. just for my collection.. my husband has NEVER been selfish in bed. I have the opposite problem, I have complained he needs to BE more selfish, a little aggressive about what he wants..

He's even commented he feels selfish if I give him a BJ for goodness sakes..He *always* wants me to get mine.. (not really complaining about this mind you!!).....

I guess what you got there is a Narcissistic Lover on your hands.. best way to deal with one of those is SHUT HIM OFF.. .. don't stand for it.. darn that's worth a bad fight [email protected]#$% 

If this makes him whine & cause a fit...leave this guy in a huff... I mean, what is he made of.. no self awareness to how pleasure should be shared.. One common detonator is.. they are selfish in plenty of other ares too.. .

8 Signs He's a Selfish Lover ... ? ? Love



> *1. HE’S SELFISH IN GENERAL*
> 
> The very first sign he is a selfish lover is that he's selfish in general! Does he constantly expect the world from you, but gives you nothing back? Do you think he'll be any different in bed? Probably not. If you have a guy that is selfish in his every day life, you might not want to head to bed with him anytime soon.
> 
> ...





> *spotthedeaddog said*: Some causes of OP's S behaviour:
> 
> *spouse might be "in the closet".
> 
> ...


Could be many underlying dysfunctional things going on there..


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

A man who loves and appreciates a woman go's out of his way to make her feel desired. 

Fixing her a special dinner with wine, slipping into the bedroom to put on the GOOD sheets, and surprising her with a tray of tropical fruit, melon and a bottle of sparkling wine...Picking out an erotic movie, shopping online for interesting toys, and exotic lubes, buying a massage table, and mixing scented massage oils....

This all spells one thing...I want you, and I want you to experience as much pleasure as possible......I would rather spend an hour stroking, touching, kissing and licking all of your body, than any thing I can think of....

The last time we had sex, was early morning. I was giving her a back rub, and she rolled over, and said "how about a quickie"....

Every time doesn't have to be a big production, but the next big production is always in the works...

If you can tell your guy is only interested in draining the lizard...Tell him you deserve and expect better....One hell of a LOT better...


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
and of course you can replace "he" with "she" for most of those and it applies as well.

What it really comes down to is that a good lover wants their partner to be happy and cares more about that then about their own pleasure. 




SimplyAmorous said:


> She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman  Great book for young men...to be the best lovers...
> 
> I bought this yrs ago.. just for my collection.. my husband has NEVER been selfish in bed. I have the opposite problem, I have complained he needs to BE more selfish, a little aggressive about what he wants..
> 
> ...


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> was he always like this, or a gradual or sudden change?
> 
> He is clearly being selfish and no reason for you to put up with it.
> ...



He's NEVER done oral ever. As far as anal, he started that maybe 3 or 4 years ago. The sex has slowly been decreasing over the years.


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

SimplyAmorous said:


> karazy said:
> 
> 
> > *Your husband needs that book, "She Comes
> ...


He definitely identifies as selfish. As far as rough childhood and woman issues. He doesn't have any of that. 

What other "in the closet" signs are there?


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman  Great book for young men...to be the best lovers...


I actually started reading this based your recommendation in another post. It's very informative. I discovered I practice some of the techniques the author recommends which I just sort of tried at some point prior to reading the book and the W really enjoyed it but I've also learned a few new things.


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## Omar174 (Mar 12, 2014)

Torn by 2 said:


> He definitely identifies as selfish. As far as rough childhood and woman issues. He doesn't have any of that.
> 
> What other "in the closet" signs are there?


Spy on him. Check his internet usage history. See what he is been up to.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

I would be so tempted to have this list cut and pasted and left open on your home computer or laptop for him to "accidentally" see!

1. HE’S SELFISH IN GENERAL

The very first sign he is a selfish lover is that he's selfish in general! Does he constantly expect the world from you, but gives you nothing back? Do you think he'll be any different in bed? Probably not. If you have a guy that is selfish in his every day life, you might not want to head to bed with him anytime soon.

2. DOESN’T CARE ABOUT GETTING YOU OFF

Typically, a guy likes to get a girl off first (or if the girl is nice, she likes to get the guy off first), but one of the signs he is a selfish lover is that he gets off period. He doesn't even care about your satisfaction at all. That's a horrible guy to be with in general and honestly, he's not worth your time!

3. HAS TO ASK IF YOU’VE COME YET – MULTIPLE TIMES

If your guy is so out of tune with your body and your emotions that he has to ask if you came yet, then that's probably not a guy that you want to be with. This is absolutely one of the signs he is a selfish lover in general. After all, you can probably tell, no matter what you are doing when he came right?

4. HE REFUSED ORAL, BUT EXPECTS IT FROM YOU

Is your guy expecting you to … perform for him but he isn't willing to do it back? How selfish! This is absolutely one of the top signs he is a selfish lover and someone that you shouldn't waste your time with at all!

5. NOT CONNECTED TO YOU EMOTIONALLY

Whether you are in bed or out of it, if your man is not connected with you emotionally, do you really think he is going to care what you like and feel like during sex? This sign he is a selfish lover is often overlooked, but ladies, pay attention – you can find someone better!

6. NEVER LETS YOU ON TOP

Do you like to be on top but it isn't a position that exactly works for you? My guess is that if you are dating a selfish lover, you never get your wish to be on top. Well ladies, this is definitely a sign he is a selfish lover and doesn't care about what works for you!

7. HAS ONE POSITION THAT WORKS – FOR HIM

The last sign he is a selfish lover feeds perfectly into this one – maybe he has just one position that works for him and no other position works right? That's absolutely the worst! It should be a mixture of positions that work for both of you, not just one that works for him!

8. HE KNOWS HIS HOT BUTTONS, BUT NONE OF YOURS

Finally ladies, the last sign he is a selfish lover that we are going to talk about is hot buttons. Do you know that his ears drive him nuts? Yes. Does he know your navel drives you nuts? Probably not. It's that simple, he doesn't know you as well as you know him and doesn't take the time to actually get to know you.

Ladies, if your boyfriend has any of these signs he is a selfish lover, that doesn't mean that you have to break up with him, but talk to him. Talking out the signs he is a selfish lover is worth it. If it's a guy you just started dating? Avoid him! So ladies, have you ever dated a selfish lover?


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

Torn by 2 said:


> He's NEVER done oral ever.


Wow.

Why do you give it to him then? I'd stop if I were you.


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

Omar174 said:


> Torn by 2 said:
> 
> 
> > He definitely identifies as selfish. As far as rough childhood and woman issues. He doesn't have any of that.
> ...


He always has his phone and is rarely on the computer. It's so hard to check. At one point though I was looked at his app download history on his phone. He had downloaded at least 3 gay chat apps. I didn't question it because he plays a lot of games, some of which he has to download other selected apps to gain points/coins. But it's still been in the back of my mind.


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

thebirdman said:


> SimplyAmorous said:
> 
> 
> > She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman  Great book for young men...to be the best lovers...
> ...


I highly doubt he'd bother reading it. =(


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

Abc123wife said:


> I would be so tempted to have this list cut and pasted and left open on your home computer or laptop for him to "accidentally" see!
> 
> 1. HE?S SELFISH IN GENERAL
> 
> ...



2, 4, 5, 7, and 8 are definitely him...


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

Seppuku said:


> Torn by 2 said:
> 
> 
> > He's NEVER done oral ever.
> ...


Because I'm his wife and want to please him. I guess I have false hope that one day he will too. He said he would when we got married. Nothing. If I want to do something different. He'll say one day. One day never happens.


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## Omar174 (Mar 12, 2014)

Torn by 2 said:


> He always has his phone and is rarely on the computer. It's so hard to check. At one point though I was looked at his app download history on his phone. *He had downloaded at least 3 gay chat apps.* I didn't question it because he plays a lot of games, some of which he has to download other selected apps to gain points/coins. *But it's still been in the back of my mind.*


That sh1t should be clue #1 and at the very front of ALL your questions.


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

Torn by 2 said:


> He always has his phone and is rarely on the computer. It's so hard to check. At one point though I was looked at his app download history on his phone. He had downloaded at least 3 gay chat apps. I didn't question it because he plays a lot of games, some of which he has to download other selected apps to gain points/coins. But it's still been in the back of my mind.


In that case, you need a wake up call - he's either gay or bi. The fact that he's never given you oral is a clear sign that he's not turned on by a vagina.

I've never heard of any game offering me a reward for downloading a gay chat app - they usually do that for downloading other games by the same developer.

Your husband is on the down low.



Torn by 2 said:


> Because I'm his wife and want to please him. I guess I have false hope that one day he will too. He said he would when we got married. Nothing. If I want to do something different. He'll say one day. One day never happens.


That's because you're his beard and a mouth is a mouth.

I'm not usually so blunt with my language, but you might be in denial. If you want proof, get him away from his phone. What kind of phone is it? Myself and a lot of other people here can help you get the answers.


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

Seppuku said:


> Torn by 2 said:
> 
> 
> > He always has his phone and is rarely on the computer. It's so hard to check. At one point though I was looked at his app download history on his phone. He had downloaded at least 3 gay chat apps. I didn't question it because he plays a lot of games, some of which he has to download other selected apps to gain points/coins. But it's still been in the back of my mind.
> ...



But how do I even bring this up without clear proof. That's all I have. And bringing that up to man that may not be is sooo offending. =( He has an AT&T phone. A Note 5. Any help would be appreciated.


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> was he always like this, or a gradual or sudden change?
> 
> He is clearly being selfish and no reason for you to put up with it.
> ...


It's me! i'm the poster. what do i win? At least, i think i am. Richard, if you meant someone else this post is going to be awkward. lol

actually, i think our situations are a little different.
Mr.68 is so LD, he's borderline asexual. although, i often wondered if he were maybe bi, but just extremely repressed. He doesn't watch porn, he rarely masturbates. He has the sexuality of a potato. It's not malicious, he will tell me he "just doesn't get the point of sex".

anyway. a separation is in the works. I spent years trying to fix us, but there is nothing to fix. He is what he is, and it took me forever to figure it out. 

don't waste your time, ok? and don't have any kids with him.



Seppuku said:


> In that case, you need a wake up call - he's either gay or bi. The fact that he's never given you oral is a clear sign that he's not turned on by a vagina.
> 
> I've never heard of any game offering me a reward for downloading a gay chat app - they usually do that for downloading other games by the same developer.
> 
> ...


I think Seppuku might have hit the nail on the head for you^ unfortunately.


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

sixty-eight said:


> richardsharpe said:
> 
> 
> > Good evening
> ...


It's kinda wayyy to late for that...We have 4. =/


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

thebirdman said:


> I actually started reading this based your recommendation in another post. It's very informative. I discovered I practice some of the techniques the author recommends which I just sort of tried at some point prior to reading the book and the W really enjoyed it but I've also learned a few new things.


It's always good to learn a new technique or 2... I originally bought this book >>

 Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (Kerner) ...by the same author ...love Ian Kerner, he's a sex therapist ...

I so enjoyed that one, could hardly put it down.. my husband is NOT a reader.. not even sure why I got this other book as I'd be the one having to tell him what new things to try... I have probably only cracked it open maybe 1 time...


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

sixty-eight said:


> richardsharpe said:
> 
> 
> > Good evening
> ...



Ohh and I forgot to mention. Never ever seen him with his shirt off. I think it's freaking weird and I asked him about it. Like why don't you take your shirt off during sex. He says it feels gay. How in any way possible can it feel gay to rub bare parts with a woman? Can anyone explain?


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

Torn by 2 said:


> Ohh and I forgot to mention. Never ever seen him with his shirt off. I think it's freaking weird and I asked him about it. Like why don't you take your shirt off during sex. He says it feels gay. How in any way possible can it feel gay to rub bare parts with a woman? Can anyone explain?


did i read that right? 4 kids and you've never seen him with his shirt off? i mean. i understand how that's possible, because human sexuality. but i think yours might be even weirder than Mr.68. It feels "gay" to have naked sex with a woman. hmmmm. 

But, once again. similar. mine really doesn't like sex, but on the rare occasion that we do it, loves to keep clothes on. matter of fact, last time we had sex, he did keep his shirt on and tried to keep his pants on until i mentioned that he was scraping my legs all to hell with the zipper on his jeans. so i'm right there with you.

Edit: i just read the other thread you started. Our men are eerily similar. unfortunately, i have no answers for you. The only thing that has ever "worked" was telling him i wanted a divorce and sleeping in another room. Now he's scrambling a little, because he likes being married, and he loves our kids. Too little too late though. good luck :/


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
OK that is really strange. I'm very shy about being naked in front of other people, but have never had a problem being naked in front of my wife. 

Sex with clothes on is OK as part of a quickie - to add to the immediacy, or the odd bit of leather or lace for spice, but always??? Even if you don't like sex per say, its just so nice to be all pressed up against the naked body of the person you love. 



Torn by 2 said:


> Ohh and I forgot to mention. Never ever seen him with his shirt off. I think it's freaking weird and I asked him about it. Like why don't you take your shirt off during sex. He says it feels gay. How in any way possible can it feel gay to rub bare parts with a woman? Can anyone explain?


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Oh no, Is that why getting naked and pulling her naked breasts up against me gives me goose bumps??? I have creeping gayness?.....


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## Omar174 (Mar 12, 2014)

Torn by 2 said:


> Ohh and I forgot to mention. Never ever seen him with his shirt off. I think it's freaking weird and I asked him about it. Like why don't you take your shirt off during sex. He says it feels gay. How in any way possible can it feel gay to rub bare parts with a woman? Can anyone explain?


Well...natural/normal intimate acts are going to feel unnatural to a gay guy when he is doing them with a woman. Much the same way I would feel nauseous rubbing up against a dude.

Wake up sister, you need to stop wondering and start gathering evidence. Spy on him.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Torn by 2 said:


> Ohh and I forgot to mention. Never ever seen him with his shirt off. I think it's freaking weird and I asked him about it. Like why don't you take your shirt off during sex. He says it feels gay. How in any way possible can it feel gay to rub bare parts with a woman? Can anyone explain?


Do you really mean that you have never, ever seen him with his shirt off? Not ever? Or is this just during sex?

What's he hiding under that shirt?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Torn by 2 said:


> But how do I even bring this up without clear proof. That's all I have. And bringing that up to man that may not be is sooo offending. =( He has an AT&T phone. A Note 5. Any help would be appreciated.


You need to get clear proof first. That means you stop bringing it up while you quietly collect info.

Here is a link to a thread that has lots of ideas on how to get evidence; how to download things off cell phones, etc. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

sixty-eight said:


> Torn by 2 said:
> 
> 
> > Ohh and I forgot to mention. Never ever seen him with his shirt off. I think it's freaking weird and I asked him about it. Like why don't you take your shirt off during sex. He says it feels gay. How in any way possible can it feel gay to rub bare parts with a woman? Can anyone explain?
> ...


Thanks for the advice! I don't want to deal with this for such a long time and feel like my life was wasted away with someone who doesn't care to make changes.


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

Woodchuck said:


> Oh no, Is that why getting naked and pulling her naked breasts up against me gives me goose bumps??? I have creeping gayness?.....


Lmao! Now you know! Lol


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Torn by 2 said:
> 
> 
> > Ohh and I forgot to mention. Never ever seen him with his shirt off. I think it's freaking weird and I asked him about it. Like why don't you take your shirt off during sex. He says it feels gay. How in any way possible can it feel gay to rub bare parts with a woman? Can anyone explain?
> ...


I mean never ever in life. I think he may have a pudge or something. Who cares?!


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## Torn by 2 (Jul 13, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Torn by 2 said:
> 
> 
> > But how do I even bring this up without clear proof. That's all I have. And bringing that up to man that may not be is sooo offending. =( He has an AT&T phone. A Note 5. Any help would be appreciated.
> ...


Thanks! Now I just need to get a hold of that phone.


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## Omar174 (Mar 12, 2014)

Torn by 2 said:


> I mean never ever in life. I think he may have a pudge or something. Who cares?!


That is beyond weird.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Might have boobs under there.

ETA: Dated a guy once who had 3 nipples. I thought it was cool. He was a little embarrassed


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