# Does it bother you if your husband watches porn?



## PinkStars

Just out of curiosity...does it bother you if your hubby watches porn and masturbates while you are not around? If he is spending hours upon hours watching porn everyday than obviously that is a problem BUT I just want to know if your hubby occasionally does this, is this a problem for you? 

I mean I watch porn and masturbate while my husband is not around but that does not mean I am unsatisfied or want another man. 


Just curious about what your views are on this subject.


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## Holland

I have no problem with my partner watching porn and/or masturbating because we have a great sex life and he is open and honest about this. I do know that he watches porn less and masturbates less than in his past marriage because he is now having his needs met.

If he were to watch porn and/or masturbate but was ignoring me sexually then I would be pissed off and do something about it.


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## happysnappy

If it replaces sex with me it's a problem. Other than that I don't mind


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## ScarletBegonias

It would bother me if SO watched porn but only bc he asked me not to look at porn pics.It would make me angry if he was making requests like that but then doing the exact thing he asked me not to do.
had he not mentioned his discomfort with my porn pic viewing,I'd be fine with him watching porn.


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## Shiksa

yes it would. I am always ready to go. I guess if I didn't want to be intimate that much, I wouldn't care. For me, there is no reason I should turn to the computer instead of me.


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## EntirelyDifferent

Nope, doesn't bother me in my current relationship because our sex life is good to begin with and my partner is very open and honest about the whole thing.

I have no problems with porn and masturbation in general; the one time I DID get upset was when I dated a man who kept a little DVD player in his bathroom for those purposes and lied to me about what it was for. I wound up breaking up with him in part over that, because I don't want to date someone who lies to my face like that.


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## Hope1964

It didn't used to, but it does now. We've agreed that at this time it isn't something either of us will do.


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## LittleBird

It does bother me but I would not stop him from it unless it became a problem.

But like at the same time...honestly...I'm as hot as I will EVER be. I'm not going to get any hotter. I'm literally at my peak. I weigh nothing, I have curves, nothing is sagging, I don't need make up....

It would probably bother me because if he's starting now, what's he gonna do when I'm saggy?

It would bother me because I would feel inadequate.


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## xRekani

My hubby doesn't watch porn, but it wouldn't bug me at all (in fact I've even encouraged him to lol) im not the jealous type and we have a good sex life. I mean It would bother me if he would rather watch porn then have sex with me because im pretty much open to anything, but I don't see that ever happening, I think the only way I'd get him to watch porn is if we would watch it together (which we kinda have already)


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## gettingout

In the beginning of my marriage (many years ago) the porn really bothered me. Thanks to Dan Savage, now I know that *all* men watch porn. Here's what bothers me about porn: using porn when you say you are really a) working b) using it so much that your work spills into your evening, taking time away from your family c) using it so much that you would rather stay home by yourself and/or miss key events d) having sex with me and then looking at porn within 24 hours (don't know why, that just bugs me) etc etc etc


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## *LittleDeer*

Yes it really bothers me. In fact I'd leave.

I don't like the thought of people using other people and commodifying them for their sexual gratification.

I don't like that they use barely legal and sometimes not legal girls.

I don't like that they use actual sex slaves.

I don't like the the most looked at porn is highly degrading to women and increasingly violent.

I want my SO to treat women with respect at all times.

I also don't believe that using other people sexually strengthens your bond, but it does weaken it.

I have also read many studies that show that men who regularly watch porn have less empathy for women then those that don't.

I could go on, but really it leaves a bad taste in my mouth and sickens me. 

If he wants to be sexual he can come to me any time.


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## LittleBird

*LittleDeer* said:


> Yes it really bothers me. In fact I'd leave.
> 
> I don't like the thought of people using other people and commodifying them for their sexual gratification.
> 
> I don't like that they use barely legal and sometimes not legal girls.
> 
> I don't like that they use actual sex slaves.
> 
> I don't like the the most looked at porn is highly degrading to women and increasingly violent.
> 
> I want my SO to treat women with respect at all times.
> 
> I also don't believe that using other people sexually strengthens your bond, but it does weaken it.
> 
> I have also read many studies that show that men who regularly watch porn have less empathy for women then those that don't.
> 
> I could go on, but really it leaves a bad taste in my mouth and sickens me.
> 
> If he wants to be sexual he can come to me any time.


As a girl who was 18 a very short time ago I CANNOT agree with this more. 

The barely legal thing is frankly, ****ing disgusting and strikes me as borderline pedophella.

Schoolgirls with pigtails? "Oh, I'm 16 and a virgin..."

It disturbs me that society as a whole has come to think that's OK.


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## Coffee Amore

No, it wouldn't bother me if there's no addiction to it and if it shows acts between consenting adults and isn't anything extreme (blood, poop, pee, lots of pain).


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## LittleBird

Coffee Amore said:


> No, it wouldn't bother me if there's no addiction to it and if it shows acts between consenting adults and isn't anything extreme (blood, poop, pee, lots of pain).


Does the barely legal stuff bother you? I'm just wondering because my Aunt and Uncle had a HUGE public row about it once they'd both had a few drinks not too long ago.

I was 19 at the time and she suddenly points to me and goes

"THOSE GIRLS ARE HER AGE. THEY ARE THE SAME AGE AS YOUR NIECE. YOU'RE A SICK BASTARD"

Literally in the middle of a cook out. Literally. Mortifying. 

He of course calls her all manner of names and says "THEY'RE 18, IT'S TOTALLY LEGAL" 

They are now divorced....

so just wondering, would that bother you?


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## chattycathy

Hell yes is bothers me.

I am not a young, massive breasted, troubled and williing to be filmed during sexual interaction, made up woman.

I am real. Beautiful and real.


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## Coffee Amore

LittleBird - Looking at a hot 19 year old probably wouldn't bother me, but I also know that's not what his interests are. How different is it from the 18 and 19 year olds scantily clad in sexy softcore poses in GQ, Esquire, Maxim, Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition and so many other men's magazines? And your aunt was wrong to shame your uncle that way in public.


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## LittleBird

Coffee Amore said:


> LittleBird - Looking at a hot 19 year old probably wouldn't bother me, but I also know that's not what his interests are. How different is it from the 18 and 19 year olds scantily clad in sexy softcore poses in GQ, Esquire, Maxim, Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition and so many other men's magazines? And your aunt was wrong to shame your uncle that way in public.


My uncle was a huge, huge bastard who watched WAY too much porn and the great majority if it (it is well known among the family now) had to do with schoolgirls with stuffed animals on the bed, the actresses were 18 IMO but they tried to look like CHILDREN.

That gives me the heeby jeebies. That's probably my biggest gross out about porn is the fact that old men are watching young girls like it's totally not creepy.


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## Lyris

No. I like it.


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## ladybird

Yes it bothers me, didn't really used to until we stopped having sex, for months on end.. That is when I started having issues with porn.

I left over it.. He wasn't going to stop and well he got a HUGE wake up call, when I walked out. It is no longer welcome in this house, due to what happened... And my H knows what will happen if i come across it again!


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## DangerousCurves

Honestly, yes. But that's because of the type of porn he watches.


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## SimplyAmorous

My husband is a very odd man... although he has enjoyed looking at soft solo Playboy Porn his whole life.... once married, he felt masterbating to it - was like "cheating" ... (his words, not mine)..... he never done it... I learned this 4 yrs ago by asking these questions ...I was a little shocked... I said "NEVER?????"...cause...well... I DID - so I looked him in the eye and told him ...."I'm a cheater [email protected]#$"... ha ha 

We were both a little surprised.. he was thinking I was low drive, I was thinking he'd rather not be woke up in the middle of the night- when I was feeling horny.

NOW... we always wait for each other... every orgasm for each other....but yes, we do enjoy a little porn now & then - together. Never necessary though.


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## LittleBird

DangerousCurves said:


> Honestly, yes. But that's because of the type of porn he watches.


Dare I ask?


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## Faithful Wife

My take is that married people should not watch porn at all if they aren't already having better sex than what they would see in porn. If you are in a sexual relationship, it should be fulfilling and satisfying to you. If it isn't, and you watch porn and masterbate, then you are telling your body "sorry body, you don't get to have sex like those one-dimensional images of people on the screen have, you get the scraps, just enough 1D eroticsm to have an orgasm but with no connection". This is a sad and sorry message to send your body, but your body will believe it "doesn't deserve" any better.

On the contrary, if you are having really great sex and watch some porn together and the whole time you are actually engaged with each other and staying connected and basically thinking "we're gonna put them to shame here soon"...this is healthy because nothing on the screen exceeds the quality of your own real experience.

I say, married couples, don't watch porn...make porn of yourselves having sex and watch it together. Get really creative and fun with it. Use lighting and costumes to make it very flattering to all shapes, sizes, ages, etc. Work yourselves up about how hot and horny and cool you are to be in your own private porn movies. THAT would be way healthy for a marriage.


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## tracyishere

It doesn't bother me unless its intentionally kept hidden from me (found out my hubby was spending hundreds of dollars on live internet porn, and he hid his credit card statements so I wouldn't find out). I was more pissed off about the secrecy than the actual porn...it turns me on to know he's turned on. I still don't know why he felt compelled to hide it, he's always been open with it in the past.


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## SimplyAmorous

Faithful Wife said:


> I say, married couples, don't watch porn...make porn of yourselves having sex and watch it together. Get really creative and fun with it. Use lighting and costumes to make it very flattering to all shapes, sizes, ages, etc. Work yourselves up about how hot and horny and cool you are to be in your own private porn movies. THAT would be way healthy for a marriage.


We've done this ~ we like to make some on our Vacations...a new setting. 



> *soccermom2three said*we were averaging once every 7 to 10 days at that time)


 THIS was very hard on your husband - he probably didn't want to bother you or open himself up to rejection, badgering you with more sex, No doubt He wanted more of YOU during that time. Breastfeeding ZAPS the sex life....he was allowing his kids to come 1st...just trying to deal with the situation. That's how I would look at it. 



> My husband was like, "Whoa, wait, that's not even what that's about! That's not what's going on!" He really calmed me down and reassured me, said all the right things. I could tell he got a bit choked up at seeing my reaction.


Sounds like you have a wonderful man here who loves & cares about you very deeply - showing emotion like that ....Believe it...Rest in it.


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## Caribbean Man

tracyishere said:


> It doesn't bother me unless its intentionally kept hidden from me (found out my hubby was spending hundreds of dollars on live internet porn, and he hid his credit card statements so I wouldn't find out). I was more pissed off about the secrecy than the actual porn...it turns me on to know he's turned on. I still don't know why he felt compelled to hide it, he's always been open with it in the past.


Just love your avatar!


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## galian84

Not at all, as CoffeeAmore said, as long as it's between adults of legal age and between two consenting adults. Even better if both the man and woman seem like they're enjoying it, and the man is hot. And as long as it doesn't replace sex with me 

My SO was upfront and honest from the beginning that he watched porn, and even showed me his old porn collection. Nothing crazy or anything I found disgusting, so I had no problem with it. He still watches it on occasion if I'm away from him, but he tells me when I ask about what he did that day. Sometimes we watch it together. 

I do look at porn on occasion too, so I'd be wrong in asking him not to do it!


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## Anonymous07

It would definitely bother me, but that is because we don't frequently have sex as my husband is always tired, busy, not in the mood, etc. I would be extremely angry if I found him looking at porn when I am ready to go.


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## KeepLoveGrowing

Personally, not a concern for me. I have a medical condition that affects me in this area, so if I can't help him, I would rather he help himself with a movie then with someone else. 

The only time I'd get upset is if he went overboard with it or was watching something I considered inappropriate (violent, too young, etc) but I don't think I'd need to worry about that with him.


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## ComicBookLady

For me, it would absolutely bother me, and I would probably leave the relationship. I made it clear from the beginning I do not believe that stuff belongs in our marriage. The way I feel about it is it's mental cheating with whoever they're looking at. But of course, everyone has different viewpoints.


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## totallywarped

It didn't bother me until it became an obsession. Internet pics weren't good enough (too many people had seen them) so he turned to getting pics from girls on CL and stealing pics off computers at work (he's a tech). Now that we are attempting to put all that behind us it's me or porn. He has some pictures of me he can look at but that's it and if he doesn't like that he knows where the door is. (yes I'm aware I can't stop his work activities but I think he understands he lost control)


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## Artsy

It bothers me more now. Only because it has gone from regular free porn on the internet, to live webcams of girls sitting at their computer waiting to get "tipped" with money from guys to do certain things. Plus you can chat with them too at the same time, and pay for private viewing. Knowing that he doesn't stop the web cam stuff even when I've told him how much it hurts my feelings, makes me wonder how far he's taking it. Is he talking to them? Spending money? Who knows!? and it really eats me up inside at times...just the unknown gets me. 

It's not like we're too busy for sex either..I'm 30 and he's almost 33, only married for 4 months too  I've asked him if he has any secret fantasies in bed, and told him I'd basically do anything with him (within reason lol) and he goes back to web cam girls  

So, yes...it bothers me..Actually it would be great if he only JUST watched porn.


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