# Does your husband/wife know?



## xena74 (May 5, 2012)

After reading the post "I daydream of leaving" I got to wondering....does your spouse know your a member to this board? My DH found this site when we were going through a hard time and emailed me the link. Now we read together sometimes. 

Got me thinking about how many people do post intimate details about there lives and if the OP doesn't know, would they be upset when and if they found out?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Xena, She is a member. We came here for the same reasons as you, a rough time. 

I don't hide my thoughts. She has had issue with the way I see things, but never got upset.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No, my husband prefers not to be online while at home. It's not his thing. I also am off the Internet while he's home unless he's exercising or busy. 

I don't care if he finds out. I would never ever say anything negative about him. He's a great husband/father and I'm grateful for this.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

xena74 said:


> After reading the post "I daydream of leaving" I got to wondering....does your spouse know your a member to this board? My DH found this site when we were going through a hard time and emailed me the link. Now we read together sometimes.
> 
> Got me thinking about how many people do post intimate details about there lives and if the OP doesn't know, would they be upset when and if they found out?


My husband isn't into boards or anything like that but the moment I signed up I came home and told him about it. Told him I think it is my calling to help others that have been through what we have been through and it also helps put things into prospective. He totally understands and is cool with it.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Yes, he knows I am on a marriage forum. I told him he could always join, or, at the very least, read my posts. The things I have posted are things we have discussed many times over. Sometimes, a new perspective is needed...an objective view. Obviously, his POV will be different from mine. I try not to paint him in a bad light. He has made judgement errors, as have I. I don't hide the fact that I have messed up as well. Discussing our issues in an anonymous forum has helped me learn how to bring up difficult subjects.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Yes, she knows. We even discuss some of the threads. At one point, she would read some of them herself, but soon opted to allow this to be "my" place. I have no problem with her reading anything I've posted, as none of it would be a surprise to her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

No and if she tried to join, I'd ban her.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My husband knows I'm here but I'd prefer he not read what I post.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

My wife knows I go to a website and have for support. She was very upset at first that I was sharing our situation on a public website, even under a fake name. At the same time she was confiding with multiple people we both knew???

When she up and walked away in November, everyone we know found out. People who don't know us found out here. 

So I still visit here on a regular basis, things are better between us, she never asks, which is typical for her to not want to talk about anything in regards to our relationship.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I share some of the more OMG stories, but he doesn't really care, and I sure don't want him knowing how much time I waste here


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

My wife doesn't know I'm here and I have no intention of telling her.

I used to post more about my marriage than I do now. My posts are mainly in the Social Spot now, but I do quite a bit of reading in other fora, have learned alot, and continue to learn. Periodically I offer advice but for the most part I think I'm still a student, and don't have much business trying to be a teacher, particularly when so much good advice is already provided.

Still, this is my place. If I want to vent, I'm free to do so without wondering if I'm stepping on my wife's toes by doing so.


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## xena74 (May 5, 2012)

lamaga said:


> I share some of the more OMG stories, but he doesn't really care, and I sure don't want him knowing how much time I waste here


:rofl: Was just thinking that this morning! Man I gotta get a life and get off this computer!!


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

lamaga said:


> I share some of the more OMG stories, but he doesn't really care, and I sure don't want him knowing how much time I waste here


Waste? Come on lamaga, your post aren't a waste. They at least get some of us going, once and a while.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I read a couple of relationship message boards. this is the only regarding infidelity.

One which is more general, I will read at my finace's place. He once asked me if I am on a relationship board due to the problems that we have had. I told him no to make him feel better. Not sure if that was good idea.

I do think about what I will do once we are living together. Are my posts here way too toxic for him to see? Would I want to know hwat he's posting on a relationship board.

One thing I do promise myself is to avoid private messages on any message board that I am on.

Perhaps someone else can give me more guidance.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

My husband knows I am here and why I joined (problems in our sex life) and is fine with it. He has no interest in message boards though. I did get him to read a couple of posts which really really helped us. There was one about rejection and resentment that I credit to a huge improvement in our problems. So while the interest isn't there he is grateful I found this site


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

anchorwatch said:


> Waste? Come on lamaga, your post aren't a waste. They at least get some of us going, once and a while.


Tactfully stated, Anchorwatch, thanks


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

My husband knows I post here pretty much daily.  I try not to come on the board when we are spending time together, even though he is on his phone all.the.time. Ugh.

He has read some of my posts, doesn't mind that I share and get advice. He thinks this is therapeutic for me. It is.

As for joining, I've encouraged him to join and really get advice about handling me. 

He prefers not to... He's not one to interact much, either online or in person and he doesn't talk much about his feelings. I wish he did, but he's his own person. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

lamaga said:


> I share some of the more OMG stories, but he doesn't really care, and I sure don't want him knowing how much time I waste here


Lamaga, from reading your posts, and your advice, its not a waste of time.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Amplexor said:


> No and if she tried to join, I'd ban her.


:rofl::rofl:
I wonder how many people wish they had that power!


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