# Aging - fun or no?



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

So I am 51 and pretty much enjoy getting older. My kids are all grown, I have one grandchild so far, I'm ok financially, my marriage is stable, I know what I like and make sure I get to do it. I've gotten rid of quite a few people from my life that I didn't enjoy. I always have something to look forward to. Menopause hasn't been anywhere near as bad as people made it out to be 

So, what do you like about getting older? Or do you totally hate it?


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

I like the balance of good health and maturity to appreciate our lifestyle. Many of the things we enjoy I didn't have the history and experience to appreciate as fully when I was younger as I do now. For example, travelling to Europe now is quite different vs. pre-1989... that kind of thing.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I hate it. Can't do the things I used to be able to do, have to plan for not having income at some point, get frickin murdered on my taxes, have a ****ty marriage I'm going to have to do something about eventually and the kids might be grown but still need money now more than ever. I thought old age was supposed to be bliss, it's turned out to be just more people coming at you with their hands out and having to stay working so you pay them.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I always thought that it would be so neat to be married and age graciously through life with a like-minded, sharp-tongued old lady, who loved me just as much as I loved her! Sad to say, but infidelity killed that dream twice!

In theory, that can still happen, but I do pray that if God truly wants it to happen for me, then He will see it come to fruition!

But I figure that He will first have to hit me squarely in the snoot with a heavenly 2X4 to make me come to trust again!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Getting older has been great so far - and I'll retire soon, which will make it even better. Of course, that's if my health and energy levels hold out well - otherwise, it may not be so great. But, it may still be better than the alternative!


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

I sign all retirement cards at work with:

"the only problem with retirement is the fact that you're almost dead"

Other than that, it'll be a blast!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

I'm also 51.
To be honest, I don't like looking older. People mistake me for being much younger, but now I'm doing facial exercises to make sure my looks hold for a while longer. lol I'm not even kidding.
I'm in the best shape I've ever been in, which I think will help me to maintain my level of energy and activity into old age. I know that my grandparents did and my mother is still in great shape at almost 75. My paternal grandmother had more energy than most 20 year olds when she was in her late 80's. She was a dynamo. I want to be like her.
I am looking forward to menopause.
My first grandchild will arrive within the next month or so. I've never been so excited about anything in my life. No responsibility, all the fun.
My relationships with my children are excellent. I'm going to be my daughter's doula. Again, so excited to be there for her and love on her during such a defining time of her life. This is so wonderful.
Overall life is good and I can see it continuing along those lines. I think the next 20 years should be the best of my life.


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## RainbowBrite (Dec 30, 2015)

I'm hoping to come to terms with it eventually..


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

I'm 57 and loving it. I left my husband six months ago (had been married 3 years) and am having a great time. I do what I want, go where I want, earn what I need, etc. My hair is waist length and curly with shockign pink tips, I wear weird clothes and have fun all day long. Today it was raining so I put some music on and stood on my front doorstep dancing for a while. I have children and a grandchild, all of whom I adore and have a great relationship with. I bounce on the bed with my grandchild, go on the swings, roundabouts, rope swings, etc. I do yoga every day and am more supple and fitter now than when I was ten years old. Last week, for the first time ever, I managed to do a forward bend and touch my nose to my knees. I'm planning on achieving the splits next. My figure is better than it was in my teens and I wear shorts, minis, jeans, skimpy tops, etc. When I go out I walk into bars alone with confidence. I do mad stuff most of the time, sing and dance every day and am thoroughly enjoying life. I really couldn't give a hoot what anybody else thinks of me - I am what I am. Some people who meet me are a little reserved about me at first but, once they get to know me, most people seem to like me despite my hippy weirdness.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

So far so good ... except for my hair wanting to relocate from the top of my head to the inside of my nose. Seriously, wtf is up with that


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

CynthiaDe said:


> I think the next 20 years should be the best of my life.


Me too!! My daughter was the one who had the baby too  She had a doula - not me! but I really enjoyed the whole pregnancy thing with her, and now my grandson who is 15 months old  It's really awesome.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

EllisRedding said:


> So far so good ... except for my hair wanting to relocate from the top of my head to the inside of my nose. Seriously, wtf is up with that


Nothing like a good ear and eyebrow trimming at the barber shop!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*To be perfectly honest with all of my beloved TAM'ers, I am in reality, "dead!"

That being said, I haven't quite laid down just yet!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RainbowBrite (Dec 30, 2015)

arbitrator said:


> To be perfectly honest with all of my beloved TAM'ers, I am in reality, "dead!"


I think you're exaggerating Arb...


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

OliviaG said:


> I think you're exaggerating Arb...


*I never exaggerate, Sweetheart! Except for when my lips move!

But thanks for your loving vote of confidence!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> So far so good ... except for my hair wanting to relocate from the top of my head to the inside of my nose. Seriously, wtf is up with that


Ditto....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

OMG I hate the nose hair - and plucking it?!?!? OWOWOWOWOWOW


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## eric1 (Apr 10, 2015)

Hope1964 said:


> So I am 51 and pretty much enjoy getting older. My kids are all grown, I have one grandchild so far, I'm ok financially, my marriage is stable, I know what I like and make sure I get to do it. I've gotten rid of quite a few people from my life that I didn't enjoy. I always have something to look forward to. Menopause hasn't been anywhere near as bad as people made it out to be
> 
> 
> 
> So, what do you like about getting older? Or do you totally hate it?



I'm in my early 40s and other than now being able to actually feel the aging process I love everything about it. I wake up every day with a purpose, I'm not living paycheck to paycheck and if I died tomorrow I feel like I've accomplished something. 

I still feel and act young. Every day I work at finding new sources of optimism and this far I've managed to stay ahead of the new pessimisms that pop up, no matter how significant. I am happy and people around me, atleast I think, are happy too


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

eric1 said:


> I'm in my early 40s and other than now being able to actually feel the aging process I love everything about it. I wake up every day with a purpose, I'm not living paycheck to paycheck and if I died tomorrow I feel like I've accomplished something.
> 
> *I still feel and act young*. Every day I work at finding new sources of optimism and this far I've managed to stay ahead of the new pessimisms that pop up, no matter how significant. I am happy and people around me, at least I think, are happy too!


*The way that I see it, the very day that you quit acting young is the same day that you're basically "through!"*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I turn 65 this year. I did not view myself as old when I moved here at the age of 58. However, slowly but surely I somehow aged. Pains from old football injuries and degenerative disk disease were taking their toll. I gained weight because I could not exercise much due to my medical problems. Walking is great for cardio but I would have to walk 10 miles to burn off enough calories to cover an ice cream cone. The worse problem for me is my memory. I often cannot think of words or the names of things. Even posting has become a problem as I forget to type some words or have to wait to remember the word I wanted to use. Last week I put a container of milk into the pantry where it went sour. I make my living with my brain. I do not have to put in much physical exertion, just think, solve problems and troubleshoot network glitches. I was the golden boy in my company. The guy who once was one of the top two in his field worldwide. The guy who was chosen as an Alternate US advisor and who had a drink or two with important politicians and businessmen. Now I forget things and have to put everything down on my calendars. Yes, more than one calendar. I make stupid mistakes and that bothers me a lot.

Last but not lease is that you acutely become aware of your mortality. Your friends are dying as are people younger than you. Go out to dinner with a friend one night and he dies of a heart attack the next day. I see more doctors in a year than I used to see in 5 years. I have a cabinet filled with pills. I am suffering from depression from not dealing well with aging. All the stuff I chose not to think about when I was younger is now upon me and real. My life expectancy is about 13 more years when years pass more quickly each time. My wife has had a hip replacement and two cataracts removed. The thought of her dying before me is unbearable to think about. She is my life and lately, my memory.

I go on Medicare this year and have been getting letters from insurance companies an even funeral parlors. Everyone seems to know I am turning 65. I am on so many mailed and email list that at times it seems that they are trying to get my money before I am too dead to spend it. I am coming to grips with old age. I now live in the largest retirement community in the world. There are over 100,000 retired people here. It has its plus and minuses. The plus is a great medical system geared strictly to the elderly. No more dealing with doctors who ignore you complaints and treat you like a child. There is a great support system as we tend to look out for each other. I feel more comfortable around people my own age and in fact, what I used to complain about is nothing compared to what others have gone through; multiple bouts of cancer, strokes, heart attacks and lose of loved ones. In some ways I feel lucky that I only have the problems I have but in the back of my mind lurks the thought that I can have a heart attack at any time. Across the street from me is a locked box containing those electric paddles that restart your heart. One call to 911 will alert one of my neighbors who has been trained and bring him to my side.

All the service people are used to dealing with us old folk who use coupons all the time to save some of their fixed income that was eaten away by medical bills. They do watch their money around here. Of course dinner time is before 5 because it is happy hour and the food is cheaper. Happy hour seems to be someone at any hour of the day. There are lots of problems with the elderly drinking and getting drunk in order to handle their problems, grief or looming death. DUI's are very common. Some formed a wife swapping club to do all the things they did not do when they were younger but had on their sexual bucket list. Most retired people here have kids and they were not able to go places that they always wanted to go. So they go on cruises, Disney World and many other places that my wife and I visited or done many times because we have no kids and a lot of extra disposable income.

On the Con side are dead quiet nights at 9 PM. Many go to bed as early as 7PM and wake up at 4am. The only thing you hear all day are the sirens of the roving EMS trucks. Yes, we have EMS trucks that are alway on the road so that there will always be one close to you. They are the reason why residents here die less frequently from heart attacks. However I sometimes view them as vultures waiting to pounce at the first sign of weakness. I know that they help but they also collect a few hundred dollars from Medicare and an additional $250 from the patient. The medical industry is very big business. Most are on Medicare so they know what they can get away with since Medicare pays first and rarely asks questions. My doctor prod me to take tests for things I have no symptoms of by calling it preventive medicine and yet those tests are the ones that their medical center makes money from. As the say, there is nothing better than a willing patient with a good insurance plan.

My skin scars from just a scratch. I cannot feel my finger tips most days or my toes. I am lucky if I can get 5-6 hours of sleep each night and I no longer try to get to bed early and just wait until I am too tired to stay awake any longer. There is also finances to consider. Will I outlive my money since my family all lived until their mid 90's despite smoking and eating poorly. On my Mother's side, they all developed Dementia at my current age and there is a fine line between memory problems from old age and dementia. My doctor told me that old age memory problems are when you cannot remember where you parked your car. Dementia is when you forget that you even own a car. I can retire fairly comfortable in two more years. All my debts have been paid and I have a small mortgage but still, unforeseen problems, that I do see happen to others, can wipe our your savings real fast. The stock market goes up and down pretty regularly now. No more are the days when your money would double every 8 years. I set aside enough for retirement that was supposed to give a million dollars at age 66. Lies, all lies.

I live among active adults. Those are old people who do all the things they did when they were young. The cheerleaders still give me chills when I see them. Women in their 60's and 70' wearing short cheerleader skirts. I will not even mention the belly dancing club. We have over 2000 organized events with about half of them active each day. It seems to people are making up for lost time and trying to beat death. In the morning you will find many people walking as soon as the sun rises. They play all sorts of sports. We even have a polo club with horses and real matches. Just a lot of old people trying to wring one more day out of life and despite their best efforts, death does not care what shape they are in.

So that is my take on old age. It sucks. I miss my younger days and sex life. It is no fun watching your body decompose slowly every year. Yet, I somehow manage to block all these depressing thoughts most of the time. You have to. You have to live for today and forget that you may die tomorrow like some that you know.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I have recently turned 49 and have a love / hate relationship with aging. I look fantastic for my age but it takes so much more work now to keep my figure. I will never be one of those women that let it all go when they get to menopause but it really is much harder and I have to be very strict with my diet. Having always had a reasonably healthy, vegetarian diet I don't have to make too many changes but it is more about potion sizes. We eat out a lot so I have modified the type of meals I eat when out.
Wine is something I will never give up though.

My life is wonderful and some of it is to do with age and some of it has to do with accepting and learning the life lessons that were thrown at me along the way.
I am 100 times happier than I was 10 years ago. I am in a fantastic relationship with a man that loves me, adores me, values me and cannot keep his hands off me. I feel the same about him so life is good for us.

Watching my kids grow to be amazing human beings is a blessing. they are intelligent, happy, well adjusted, beautiful people. All the effort in raising them as ex and I did is paying off and I could not be prouder of them all.

I breezed through menopause and am very thankful for that. I'm convinced that it was not so bad because of my vege diet that is also high in foods such as soy and linseeds, 2 foods that have been shown to help with menopause. Having eaten them for decades is absolutely paying off now.

Financially I am free as a bird and can enjoy a great life with many options available. People say that money does not buy happiness but I disagree, money gives you options to do what makes you happy.

But I do struggle with getting older. I love life and never want it to end. I also hate looking older, so much of my younger years was associated with my looks and it is hard to look in the mirror and see that I am older than I want to be. I do have a goal though which is to be the sexiest I can be for my age, at any age and have this gorgeous mans hands all over me for ever. In our last years this might just be holding hands but if that is the case I will die a happy woman.


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

It's been hard for me. I'm 49. I am a perfectionist and that, combined with aging, they just don't go! 
Yoga helps. I can keep up with anyone in my bootcamp class. I weigh the same as I did when I was in the 9th grade. Things have.... Shifted a bit. 
If I was more secure in the marriage it would be easier. I want to be a chubby gramma. And not give a **** about how I look.


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## Kilgoretrout (Feb 2, 2016)

stephscarlett said:


> It's been hard for me. I'm 49. I am a perfectionist and that, combined with aging, they just don't go!
> Yoga helps. I can keep up with anyone in my bootcamp class. I weigh the same as I did when I was in the 9th grade. Things have.... Shifted a bit.
> If I was more secure in the marriage it would be easier. I want to be a chubby gramma. And not give a **** about how I look.


I know what you mean. I am a pretty secure guy but am definitely feeling less attractive as I am north of 40
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Great thread

I am mixed on the whole aging thing...I am 47 and my goal by the time I turn 50 is to be in great shape. I do have a certain fear about aging...

I think what I fear about aging is how often in our society we are youth obsessed and the old are sometimes kind of shoved to the side...like they are not relevant anymore.

However when I get like that I find that I will look at women who are 40 plus for motivation and inspiration...women who take good care of themselves, etc. are motivating to me.

One time Dr. Phil had a show about "cougars" and there was a woman on there that was 75 and liked going out with men in their 50s and at first I thought wow that is a huge age difference but she had a great attitude/charisma and looked really good...I found myself thinking wow I could see how younger men go for her...she was sexy/smart and had a wonderful attitude. She had such confidence in herself...very attractive.

A girl at work too was talking about her sister in law who was in her mid 50s and she was saying that her SIL had a fabulous attitude and huge charisma and she said whenever they go out together she said you should see all the guys hitting on her...younger guys...

So what that tells me is attitude is huge while aging. Confidence is huge....


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## memorylanee12ln (Dec 26, 2015)

I m 62 and loving it. Husband and i separated 18 months ago , after a marriage of 28 years. Not really expecting to be alone in this age. But he found a 24 year old girl and he went for that. I was depressed during the first few months, but i have moved on. Surprisingly, i am enjoying an alone life right now. I keep myself busy doing things i like to do. I wake up in the morning planning things i like to do for the whole day. My plans dont always work out, because i always end up doing things i like to do otherwise. Hahaha! So you see, being alone and old, i am able to do things i like to do without an outside interruption from an H. Just loving life at 62.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

49 and love the wisdom that comes with maturity.

attitude is everything think positive enjoy life .....even the hard times have something to offer. 

life is a long road and there are many trials along the way . buckle up and enjoy the ride.
Rich, poor, loved or not 
in the end we all end up with dirt thrown on us. 

always try to improve yourself. and don't sweat the small stuff.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
52 and aging is horrible. Slow decay of everything, death by inches. I'm still in good shape, but my joints hurt more often, my stamina decreases. There are some places I could hike to in my youth that I will never get to again. 

My mind is sharp, but I occasionally forget things - peoples names etc. My family has a history of early Alzheimer's. Not yet, note yet, but some day....

I'm too old to change careers (I've tried), and the field that I am in is slowly fading. It will last until I retire, but I know that what I do no longer really benefits the world.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *I always thought that it would be so neat to be married and age graciously through life with a like-minded, sharp-tongued old lady, who loved me just as much as I loved her! Sad to say, but infidelity killed that dream twice!
> 
> In theory, that can still happen, but I do pray that if God truly wants it to happen for me, then He will see it come to fruition!
> 
> ...


Hear hear! That's the way I thought old age would be, to be able to age gracefully and peacefully with a woman I have been married to forever. Unfortunately there's no grace and no peace with who I married. I still pray for a possible arragement for me to one day get out of the relationship (calling it a marriage at this point is mere folly) I'm in and actually enjoy life. I'll need the same heavenly 2X4 to hit me square between the eyes before I'll want to give marriage another go. These days you never know what you'll end up with.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

chillymorn said:


> Rich, poor, loved or not
> in the end we all end up with dirt thrown on us.


Now isn't that the truth!!


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

doobie said:


> I'm 57 and loving it. I left my husband six months ago (had been married 3 years) and am having a great time. I do what I want, go where I want, earn what I need, etc. My hair is waist length and curly with shockign pink tips, I wear weird clothes and have fun all day long. Today it was raining so I put some music on and stood on my front doorstep dancing for a while. I have children and a grandchild, all of whom I adore and have a great relationship with. I bounce on the bed with my grandchild, go on the swings, roundabouts, rope swings, etc. I do yoga every day and am more supple and fitter now than when I was ten years old. Last week, for the first time ever, I managed to do a forward bend and touch my nose to my knees. I'm planning on achieving the splits next. My figure is better than it was in my teens and I wear shorts, minis, jeans, skimpy tops, etc. When I go out I walk into bars alone with confidence. I do mad stuff most of the time, sing and dance every day and am thoroughly enjoying life. I really couldn't give a hoot what anybody else thinks of me - I am what I am. Some people who meet me are a little reserved about me at first but, once they get to know me, most people seem to like me despite my hippy weirdness.


So you finally got rid of that loser? I wasn't sure you would go through with it.

Congratulations!


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> So I am 51 and pretty much enjoy getting older. My kids are all grown, I have one grandchild so far, I'm ok financially, my marriage is stable, I know what I like and make sure I get to do it. I've gotten rid of quite a few people from my life that I didn't enjoy. I always have something to look forward to. Menopause hasn't been anywhere near as bad as people made it out to be
> 
> So, what do you like about getting older? Or do you totally hate it?


Man I wish I felt like you did. 

I'll turn 48 in May. As for the physical, I abhore aging. I see more wrinkles and any injury I get takes way longer to heal. Over the holidays I hyperextended my knee. Probably the most painful thing I've endured in my adult life. I limped for 2 months, nevermind working out. I still have to baby my knee when working out. It blows.

It was a dark place for me at that time, I'm not going to lie. If I were younger, I can't help but feel I would've bounced back much sooner with my knee.

On the flip side, I do enjoy the nonphysical aging aspect. I feel I'm more wise, I don't put up with much BS these days, and I feel more comfortable speaking my mind in an appropriate way. People come to me for work and personal advice, and I enjoy that. I, too, have cut toxic people out of my life and I've learned it's okay to say no.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

And to get back to the original question:

I'm going to be 67 next month, so I do have some experience with getting older.

My body is still in pretty good shape, partly due to fortunate genetics and partly due to walking several miles every day and eating in a healthy manner. I just got down to the lowest weight I've been in 20 years (at least), although just by a couple of pounds.

Sex is still great although not nearly as active as it used to be.

My memory is still good enough to pass the life insurance agent test with flying colors after a few weeks of study, and I can still work in my field of programming, which requires quite a bit of logical analysis.

We have enough money to live on without my working if we are careful, so work is optional. Being able to quit a job that is unpleasant is one of the biggest advantages of having savings!

Overall aging isn't that bad so far, especially because I've never gotten by on my looks, so the fact that I look sort of like Bernie Sanders isn't that big a letdown. :grin2:


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

I am 54 and starting to slow down. I live on a farm and just cannot keep up the way I used to.
I cannot cut down a big tree, slice it up, pick it up and split, anymore. I just get worn out.
I never realized how physical my life style is. I used to do all the brake work on all the cars, oil changes, etc. etc. Now just thinking about that makes me tired!
It frightens me because I don't want to move.
I think I take care of too much crappola.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I recently turned 53 and really enjoy my life. I am thankful to get older, but don't like looking older. I've never had a weight problem, but lately, I have to watch what I eat because pounds have started to creep up, so keeping track of what I eat is a lifestyle change for me. 

Our daughter is finally out of the house and my husband and I are really enjoying our time together - just the two of us. We don't have any grandchildren yet, I hope it's a while before they come along, although I know I will enjoy them when they do. 

Overall, it's a very enjoyable time. I just hope our health holds up for many more years and we can get to retirement age and still have some good years left. Ugh!


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

tech-novelist said:


> So you finally got rid of that loser? I wasn't sure you would go through with it.
> 
> Congratulations!


Thank you  - yeah I went through with it - the only thing holding me back was lack of money - I couldn't save anything because I paid most of the bills. As soon as my best friend knew I wanted to leave him, she paid £250 into my bank account (wouldn't accept it back when I'd straightened out my finances, bless her), I found a new place and walked. I posted an update a couple of days ago on how my life has been since and to thank everybody here for all the support I had - it was invaluable to me when I was at my lowest ebb.

As for the aging process, I did start to notice it for the first time after about a year with my H - he was really dragging me down. Then when he became so authoritarian towards me it brought out the rebel in me and I started to feel like a naughty teenager again with a grumpy old Dad hassling me  . I'm still feeling like a teenager most of the time and having a brilliant time.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

doobie said:


> Thank you  - yeah I went through with it - the only thing holding me back was lack of money - I couldn't save anything because I paid most of the bills. As soon as my best friend knew I wanted to leave him, she paid £250 into my bank account (wouldn't accept it back when I'd straightened out my finances, bless her), I found a new place and walked. I posted an update a couple of days ago on how my life has been since and to thank everybody here for all the support I had - it was invaluable to me when I was at my lowest ebb.
> 
> As for the aging process, I did start to notice it for the first time after about a year with my H - he was really dragging me down. Then when he became so authoritarian towards me it brought out the rebel in me and I started to feel like a naughty teenager again with a grumpy old Dad hassling me  . I'm still feeling like a teenager most of the time and having a brilliant time.


It's too bad everyone doesn't have friends like that. Thank her for me too. :smile2:


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

These replies are fantastic. I am thoroughly enjoying this thread. Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to write their reply!

I also wanted to mention that right now we have EIGHT people living at our house and I really hope that everyone gets the hell out soon. There's hubby and I, plus a nephew, son and fiance, and daughter plus boyfriend and baby. At least everyone has a job! And pays rent. Daughter plus two will be leaving at the end of April - they're just there for 2 months while he attends school. It's actually not as bad as I sometimes make it out to be either  I love having grandson there every day. And as long as I insist and bug people they do almost all the housework! It reminds me of the way people must have lived in the 1700's or something - or like the Waltons


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I don't know about you guys, but I'm happy to still be here. No complaints.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> 49 and love the wisdom that comes with maturity.
> 
> attitude is everything think positive enjoy life .....even the hard times have something to offer.
> 
> ...


I love this post and your outlook, chillymorn.

What I have observed of people sharing similarities in health and the aging process, who have lost loved ones, faced the misconceptions and negativity of society and all that jazz... is that attitude truly determines the experience being had. 

I'm not sure if it becomes about resilience or gratitude. Maybe the two intertwine. All I know is, I'm continually blown away by the wisdom, fortitude, compassion and kindness that I observe.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

What are my views on aging? ....well, the aging process itself can suck but kindness never gets old.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I'm 56 and in decent shape - cycling season starting up!!! - and I've been in about the same shape for a few years. Health constant, work decent, kids in college, generic Propecia for the hair works wonders, and I'm as immature as ever. In other words perfect.

At my age I'm about to be inducted into the Angry Birds 2 Diamond League, an exclusive competition level for top players worldwide. 

I have accomplished everything I set out to accomplish education wise, career wise, and children wise. Wife could be more accommodating but maybe the next guy will be a triathlon fan...

So yea, aging ain't half bad.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I will be 45 next week, with the life I have had I'm happy to still be here. But looking and feeling older I have days where it does not bother me and days when it does, people often think I'm younger than I look but I don't see it could be because I see the same face and body everyday.

I just do my best to stay physically fit and healthy, and hope for the best.


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## Springtree (Sep 20, 2015)

I'm 47 and now that I'm emerging from social isolation I am suddenly aware of how many years I squandered, although I don't regret any of the time I spent raising the children. I'm studying full time and surrounded by young people, about to start life from scratch needing a new career and a new house/mortgage (if possible) - no, I'm trying to utilize every minute of every day two or three times over to catch up with everyone else of my own age. They can afford to buy tickets to the theatre, pay for dental care and have overseas holidays so they live in a different world to me.

That said, I actually think I'm having more fun than they are. I've developed a good student social life with some very bright and interesting late 20/early 30 year olds who don't seem to notice my age. But sometimes I catch sight of myself in a mirror and am shocked at how much older I look.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

61 y.o. i never gave age too much thought and i still don't, but i definitely feel the physical part as in; 'can't do what i did just a few years ago'.

i miss some of the adventure and wild stuff i did just a few years ago, and sometimes reminisce.
since i got remarried, i've become a homebody.

on the other hand, my life is as good as it's ever been, so that's the good part.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Same age as you Hope (51).
Physical activity definitely helps as you age. I work out, run, hike, take boot camp classes, cycle, etc..
I also try to keep learning-----internet is great for that.
Little aches and pains happen but life marches on.
You realize the importance of family and friends a lot more as you age too.
I still need to relax a bit more and "let things go" but age has mellowed me and hopefully I do what's right more often than not.
Getting old isn't great----but it beats the alternative.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

:smthumbup:


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

I just turned double nickels and frankly this B-day has hit me a little hard. I know it's just a number but damn - it's getting up there and I think everyone considers kind of old. I've always been physically fit and eaten decent but my age and work/play/run to max ability personality has started taking it's toll on me physically. I've always been a "go" person - sitting more than a movie time length I just can't do. I get antsy and feel like I should be doing something. I get sore from working/playing a lot sooner now and some old sports injuries are starting to rear their ugly head and ache on occasion. I did about 5 hours of digging and planting recently and was sore for 2 days. Once upon a time not that long ago I could dig and plant all day long and hardly feel a thing. My sexual abilities and prowess has taken a hit also - no again an hour later anymore and every day isn't really doable - few in a row I can but 4/5 not happening - that part of me needs more rest and recovery time also. Arg !! A bit of an ego hit. So obviously I'm not real thrilled about the physical decline.

But there are multiple good things also. More confidence and also satisfaction with myself. I've done decent. People like me. I don't feel like I have anything I need to prove anymore. My kids rock - they are extremely healthy, happy, and unlike I have been and provided at times, close to lifelong financial security - and at young ages. I'll likely never be but frankly don't care anymore and it isn't important to me anymore. I've got what I really need and likely wont ever starve. A few years ago women suddenly started hitting on me instead of me having to make all the effort. Wasn't that way before.... and I admit its cool and I like it ! It's nice being on "the other side" some. I've done a lot of things - and many that most people haven't. If I die tomorrow it will be OK - I've had a good and full life. But there are still many things I am planning to and want to do and am lucky in that my family genes are good so I've probably got another 20-25 able years left. 

Anybody going to the Indy 500 ? It's the 100th running ! One of those one shot things -- no second chance. Races like this are events - not just a race. I think its going to be great and a hell of a party !


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I will be 50 by the end of this year.. I think it sucks! Not because I feel lousy. .I still have lots of energy.. I feel good .. still lovin' getting it on.. don't want it to end.. stay away menopause!...

But this is how I look at my life... it's a bit pessimistic.. but at the same time...it is what it is... 

I feel MY best years / OUR BEST YEARS are behind us.. I think 2014 was the greatest year of our lives, family... we took a # of vacations.. a few romantic ones.. I felt on top of the world... loved the ages of all the kids.. I felt we were just rockin' LIFE.. ya know.. the 40's have been great.. like a mid life Honeymoon of sorts.. 

So here we are.. we climbed to the top of the mountain.. we had some struggles along the way... but we kept believing/ hoping, carrying on...hand in hand.. and here we are .. WE MADE IT !! ..we can look back & see some purpose it in all -how it all came together.. so we're standing up here.... the wind is blowing in our hair.. it's a beautiful sight.. ....we'd like to stop the hands of time.. and just camp out here.. but we can't...

So now it's time to go down the other side... we've had our day in the Sun... now it's more about our children.. seeing that they do well.. will have 2 in college this year...time to get a job.. not as many vacations .... need to do what we can to help & support them, getting them on their feet...we want to see them do well, take their wings and achieve THEIR dreams, whatever they may be.... this, too, will bring us happiness..


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

I don't like this getting older business at all. I find that I spend so much on skincare products because I don't want a wrinkled face.... when I turned 30 I actually cried....Haven't experienced the 'change of life' yet but I have heard that it is quite a struggle for some. Not looking forward to this either. Having said all this it would be nice to find someone to grow old with. Only God know if I'll remarry but I'm not in a rush and that's cool for me.


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

Hope1964 said:


> So I am 51 and pretty much enjoy getting older. My kids are all grown, I have one grandchild so far, I'm ok financially, my marriage is stable, I know what I like and make sure I get to do it. I've gotten rid of quite a few people from my life that I didn't enjoy. I always have something to look forward to. Menopause hasn't been anywhere near as bad as people made it out to be
> 
> So, what do you like about getting older? Or do you totally hate it?


Not hating it at all! I may grow old but I'll be damned if I grow up!!! Then again, STBX gets annoyed at that... Oh well, she opted out. Her loss.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I have really enjoyed the wisdom that has come with growing older, and while *ideally* I'd have my current brain in my 26-year-old body (haha), I'm happy with aging. I am taking care to be active even when I might not feel like it, bc I want to be able to travel and hike as long as I live, if possible! Other than that, nothing seems so different--I'm still the same person I was 20, 30, even 40 years ago--just wiser and without the self-doubt! I love to have fun, I choose to be happy, and everyday I learn more, which opens up new questions about what I don't know/understand! Such an adventure.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Vinnydee said:


> So that is my take on old age. It sucks. I miss my younger days and sex life. It is no fun watching your body decompose slowly every year. Yet, I somehow manage to block all these depressing thoughts most of the time. You have to. You have to live for today and forget that you may die tomorrow like some that you know.


Thank you, Vinnydee for the realistic view of aging. I am 58 and teaching at a University. I just passed my 25 years of service for the institution. My students and my husband are quick to point out that I don't look my age when we discuss aging in my subject area. I could pass as in my late 30s or early 40s. Flattery besides, I know that my physical body is slowing down. I ache here and there. I now celebrate all holidays when I didn't used to. I'm one of those who are trying to catch up.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Like it is the sense that I have become more strong withing myself and no longer feel like I have to please everyone. I have reached a point of enjoying time to myself, no longer get involved in the BS and gossip with family. have weeded some people out of my life which has been positive. At the same time I see my body aging right before my eyes and I do not care for what I see.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Vinnydee said:


> I turn 65 this year. I did not view myself as old when I moved here at the age of 58. However, slowly but surely I somehow aged. Pains from old football injuries and degenerative disk disease were taking their toll. I gained weight because I could not exercise much due to my medical problems. Walking is great for cardio but I would have to walk 10 miles to burn off enough calories to cover an ice cream cone. The worse problem for me is my memory. I often cannot think of words or the names of things. Even posting has become a problem as I forget to type some words or have to wait to remember the word I wanted to use. Last week I put a container of milk into the pantry where it went sour. I make my living with my brain. I do not have to put in much physical exertion, just think, solve problems and troubleshoot network glitches. I was the golden boy in my company. The guy who once was one of the top two in his field worldwide. The guy who was chosen as an Alternate US advisor and who had a drink or two with important politicians and businessmen. Now I forget things and have to put everything down on my calendars. Yes, more than one calendar. I make stupid mistakes and that bothers me a lot.
> 
> Last but not lease is that you acutely become aware of your mortality. Your friends are dying as are people younger than you. Go out to dinner with a friend one night and he dies of a heart attack the next day. I see more doctors in a year than I used to see in 5 years. I have a cabinet filled with pills. I am suffering from depression from not dealing well with aging. All the stuff I chose not to think about when I was younger is now upon me and real. My life expectancy is about 13 more years when years pass more quickly each time. My wife has had a hip replacement and two cataracts removed. The thought of her dying before me is unbearable to think about. She is my life and lately, my memory.
> 
> ...


Vinny: You've got to get out of that depression. If what you listed is all that is wrong with you, you can go on for years yet.

I was able to put off retirement until I was 79. My kids are established, complete with children. And being retired took a bit of getting used to. No more having to be somewhere at some hour.

And yes, I forget words too. And I've got arthritis everywhere. And I too have a bucket filled with pill bottles. My hobby is visiting doctors.

And sure I could die tomorrow. I know it is coming, I just don't want to be around when it happens.

But then, being ill or dying or whatever have always been with us. We just pay more attention to them now.

I don't mean to sound so critical, but as one of the oldest goats on TAM I do tend to be grandfatherly toward young wippersnappers like you... After all, I am almost old enough to be your father.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

I might as well come clean. I'll be 83 in three weeks.

Yes, I'm running down. But life has been a blast. I don't have the stamina or endurance I used to have, but my head still works. My kids are independent with lives and families of their own. I've been fortunate to work in a field that I love for my entire working life.

Sex has slowed down. But I've found that fingers and tongues can substitute for things that don't work as well as they used to.

I've enjoyed being a curmudgeon on TAM. People talk about the "good old days" back in 1970 and I grin because I had a wife and two kids by then. And I know that in spite of what seems to be an epidemic of infidelity and marital problems, things really are better than they were in mid 20th century America. And we certainly are living longer.

So for all of you 40 and 50 year olds, I assure you that life is not coming to an end. If you do not now have it, you can find love. Sex isn't over (I really think it is more enjoyable when older). And while you may not be able to do everything you did when you were 21 (nor should you want to!), you can do lots of stuff you couldn't do then.

Good luck to all. Live well and be happy!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Whew......I had to wait until post #56 to be bowled over by an older fogey. Thanks @sidney2718 !

I will be 70 in late December of this year. I look about 55 because I never stopped working out and running. A Triathlon enthusiast..run, bike, swim....57 years of sweat.

I attribute 70% of my success to genetics, the other 30% to The Grace of God.

Having said this, I have repeatedly broken my body with foolish pastimes and fearless recklessness in my youth. 

I ran a little over 10 miles the other day. Oh, I have recently been diagnosed with prostrate cancer! It is curable. 

You cannot outrun death, but I will die trying!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Wow. You guys are blowing me away here. Thank you SO much for posting!!


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> Whew......I had to wait until post #56 to be bowled over by an older fogey. Thanks @sidney2718 !
> 
> I will be 70 in late December of this year. I look about 55 because I never stopped working out and running. A Triathlon enthusiast..run, bike, swim....57 years of sweat.
> 
> ...


You've got the right attitude! Was it Groucho who said "If I'd have known that I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."?


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Wow. You guys are blowing me away here. Thank you SO much for posting!!


It is true. There is a lot of life left. Some of it is bittersweet, such as when I recognized that I was the oldest f*rt left in my family.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Let me bring up another aspect of this. How old do folks FEEL they are. Until recently I felt as if I was still in my early 30's. My wife says the same thing. These days I feel as if I'm 60 in that I should behave with a certain amount of dignity as befits a young man.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

What do I like - my 55 year old brain seems a bit more at home than my 20 or 30 year old brain. If only I had this brain back then. 

What I don't like - I'm competitive (sports but also in other areas) and I hate that my body will not keep up with my brain in this area. 

I don't know that my looks have changes extremely, but I've never had much of a good self image of myself. 

Circa 1986, I'm the one on the left with the 80s mustache (ugh)



This was taken back about three years ago (in my home music studio), I don't think I've change much since (except I have actually gained a bit more muscle mass - weightlifting almost daily):






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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Dude. You are rocking 55.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Ya, I kinda feel like slapping you now.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Ya, I kinda feel like slapping you now.




My own stupid insecurities.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

Of course aging is fun!

I mean, from the day we become aware of time, we know that we will age and die. So, if it's inevitable, there's not much sense in choosing to not consider it to be fun!!!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

One thing I like about being older is that I don't feel the need to impress other people anywhere near as much any more. That doesn't mean I don't EVER give a sh!t, but that I am far more likely to do something that I want to do, that I might not have done when I was younger because I thought someone might not have approved. Such as not wear a bra.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

GTdad said:


> Dude. You are rocking 55.


Seriously, not even close to what I was expecting based on his previous posts. Looks like i will be adding those pics to my spank bank >


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I'm 48, and life is better than it's ever been all the way around, including physically. I'm really happy that the work I've put into making my life the way I want it has paid off and I can enjoy it the way I want and share it with the love of my life.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

To add, with young children (in particular our soon to be 3yr old monster) I have to believe things will only get better for my W and I as these things grow up lol.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

EllisRedding said:


> Seriously, not even close to what I was expecting based on his previous posts. Looks like i will be adding those pics to my spank bank >


Ew. Very TMI.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

No doubt about it aging is not fun however it doesn't have to suck. I've learned that it's how you live your life that makes all the difference. I also have to admit that perspective can make or break a person. Case in point.... I've been vacationing in S. Beach, FL surrounded by beautiful, hard bodied youth. Compared to them, H and I are old trolls, however compared to the other 40 somethings here, we still got it going on . That knowledge was enough to convince me to wear my tanga bikini for the first time in 5 years and it felt awesome.....until my uber white a$$ got sunburned, then not so good :/

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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

I am having more fun and more at peace than I have ever been in my entire life... I just need my body to begin understanding and quit fighting me.

I mean, I did 10 skydives at 52 in a single season, first time ever... 9 static lines and 1 tandem at 13k.

My wife says I'll be asking for a new BMW motorcycle next... she is right.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

I believe the worst part of aging for me is the lack of remaining time. For the last decade, at least, I have looked forward to the time when my wife would "grow up" for lack of a better phrase. I now am facing the harsh reality that there simply isn't remaining time for that to happen. My kids are grown with families and doing well thankfully and my grandchildren are my life. Still it saddens me to know that my wife and I will never share a meaningful conversation, or life, of any depth.

Physically I feel 100 but in reality I can still participate in sports with much younger men. I've lost a step or two but I can still compete. Friends my age say I am crazy but I believe it keeps me alive. No matter how bad I feel I tell myself that if I can still play sports I cannot be that bad off. The hard part is "feeling" old. Like another poster said I have always done all my own yard work, mechanical work and always had a project of some kind going on. Now the thought of doing those things exhausts me. I actually had some trees removed recently and still cannot believe I did not do it myself. Oh well.

I find it bittersweet hoping for longevity. On the one hand I will love being in the lives of my grandkids but on the other, when everyone is gone and the silence overtakes me I find it almost unbearable. My wife is really very much like a puppy. She will listen to my monologue, occasionally tilting her head slightly but expecting meaningful conversation is simply unrealistic on my part. She has said many times "I don't know what to say" and for her it is easier to say nothing.

So, for me, the aging process is not really very much fun. The new (daily) aches and pains, the sleepless nights and the ever present feeling of the need to take a nap I find little pleasure in. Some have said that it beats the alternative but I know of no one who has passed on and reported back to confirm or deny that assumption.

I am thankful for some of the posters here who have allowed me to see that I am not unique. Misery loves company, as it were and I seem to be in some rather good company.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I am 48, which is a lot older than it seems like I should be, time certainly does pass quickly. So far, I have been blessed with good health, so I’m fine with it.

I’m probably different than a lot people. I hear and read all the talk about people continuing to act young and wanting to look younger than their age, and I hear things like 60 is the new 30, but I don’t really don’t pay much attention to that.

I suppose lifestyle and attitude may have something to do with it. I’m not a competitive person in a sports sense, and my personality isn’t risk taker or thrill seeker, so I’m not worried about getting to an age that I can’t bungee jump since I don’t do things like that anyway. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to look 90 at 48 and going to the nursing home for fun activities, and I’m all for trying to stay as healthy as possible, but I’m ok with older. I kinda like being the guy in the room with a little grey down the sides and his reading glasses on his nose; it doesn’t bother me at all. 

As some others have said, I find that I don’t care too much about what others think anymore; that need to be “cool” isn’t a factor. I also enjoy the respect that comes with being my age; I suppose that comes with how a person acts as well, but at my age, people actually treat you like you might have some knowledge(I usually have to fake that part) and don’t think they can get by with just anything. 

For me, age is just what it is. I’m 48; that’s not 80, and it’s not 25 either, it’s 48; and it wouldn’t matter if I looked 20, I’m still 48.


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