# Holiday Blues



## BEWillis (Oct 28, 2010)

THANKSGIVING DAY RANT: I am sitting here listening to the teens argue yet again *SSDD* and wish I were somewhere else. I have to get ready to cook a turkey for 4 people and some sides soon. I really do not want to be here. I am not sure where I want to be except alone right now. The DH is at work until 6, the arguing escelates, stops a while and starts again... I am running a huge gammot of emotions right now. 
I have locked myself in the bedroom, reading over M (the PA)'s wonderful descriptions of what is happening at his house, with his parents and some friends coming by.... I know what I am feeling, it's jealousy... I would love to be there by his side playing a part in his day... I hate being here with my family and feel like no one even appreciates anything I do here... I can't even gt them to do the dishes to I can have clean counters... I am going to refuse to cook anything until then!


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## valaria (Oct 18, 2010)

I don't know how old your teens are, have you tried going on strike?


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## BEWillis (Oct 28, 2010)

valaria said:


> I don't know how old your teens are, have you tried going on strike?


13 girl and 16 boy.. I think I am just giiving up now. I just do not like being here anymore.. sounds like I am depressed, but really.. I am just fed up with this whole family life.


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## valaria (Oct 18, 2010)

Sounds like you are fed up with handling everything yourself, i have a 14 boy and children can be a huge challenge,as they are human. if your husband isn't supporting you emotionally in raising the kids then it is very easy to become resentful of EVERYONE in the picture, even the kids. Leaving really won't accomplish much, you will still have 2 kids to raise. It sounds like you really need to have an open honest conversation with your H about YOUR needs. If your needs, at least some of them, are being met it will be much easier to deal with the family issues. Please try to remember when you run you take all your problems with you, try to resolve them before making decisions you can't change...


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

BEWillis said:


> 13 girl and 16 boy.. I think I am just giiving up now. I just do not like being here anymore.. sounds like I am depressed, but really.. I am just fed up with this whole family life.


"...I am just fed up with this whole family life.........."

more so when you are in love with some one other than your husband & pining for him


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## BEWillis (Oct 28, 2010)

bestplayer said:


> "...I am just fed up with this whole family life.........."
> 
> more so when you are in love with some one other than your husband & pining for him


Wow, sits down hard in the chair... I guess I never thought of it that way.

When M called on my cell to wish my happy holiday, I felt so alive for those few minutes, I did not realize I had it that bad. Even my boss has noticed (she is a friend), she says I "glow" when I talk about him.. she says she can tell I have it bad, I just wish I knew honestly how M feels... he is a shy man, previously married (a short term mistake he says, i saw her pic, she and I could be related), is a bit on the ummm small side to say nicely, but the sex is not what draws me to him... smiles, it is his love of life, people and so many other things. I know if he even asked me to be his forever woman, I would... I know if he said he loved me, I would probably faint right there.. smiles. I have loved him for a long time... I know that


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

I read some of your earlier posts and would encourage you to look deeper into yourself and what is going on while you decide what to do about the marriage. First, I'm not trying to say that you don't really love the other guy. Just asking if you were with him, would your children's arguing improve? Would he always be the answer for the restlessness?

Maybe so, but there might be things you need to settle regardless of what you do. Where do you want your life to go? Are you on a path to be this type of person? Would others describe you as the kind've person you want to be described as?

This is a situation that I rarely share, but my sister in law approached me early in my marriage (and her's) and said she was in love with me and our 'perfect life.' I'm not at all shy about the way I show my wife (her sister) how I love her, and go way overboard on holidays, and even make up new ones about her just so I can celebrate with her. I wouldn't let things progress with the sister in law, obviously. She divorced after an affair, then married a guy who she claimed to be just like me. (BTW- her current husband detests me). She changed herself to be more like this guy, but the emptiness was still there until she began to really know herself and what kind've person she wanted to be. We are close friends now.

It's obvious in your writing that you are thoughtful and creative. While you decide the direction you must go regarding your husband, take the reigns of your life. Do something fun and exciting.


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