# I think I am losing my mind!



## hilly2 (Jan 15, 2012)

I am actually thinking of asking my STBXH to get me pregnant! I know that is the stupidest thing I could ever do, but I feel like my chance to have a child is basically over. I am going to be 39 years old in a few months, and just joining the dating scene? What guy is going to want to date a woman who's biological clock is ticking so loudly?

If I have a child, I will have what I want. He got what he wanted by leaving me and having his freedom, why can't I get what I want too? Also, I will have a connection with his sisters and his family if I have his child. Last week, one if his sisters just had her second, and his other sister just found out she is pregnant again! It was a very hard week for me.

His family lives in another country, so basically I will probably never see them again. If I have his baby, I have a reason to visit and see them and continue having a connection with them.

I consider myself to be a person with high morals, so I know that bringing a baby into this world knowing I will be a single parent is not ok. Also, I do not want to have a baby with my STBXH to try to win him back. 

I can't believe that I am even having thoughts about this. Someone slap some sense into me!!!!!!


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## gearhead65 (Aug 25, 2011)

I can't think of a more rash and under thought thing to do. Your ex isn't going to agree to this if he has any sense. Also having a child to maintain a connecting to your in laws is nonsense. I think Facebook is a much better option. You need to find someone who is going to love you and want to have a child with you. Or have a one night stand with a stud and have no names or contact information. 

SLAP!


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## hilly2 (Jan 15, 2012)

Gearhead, thanks for the SLAP! The sad thing is that my STBXH would consider it. His way of keeping a connection with me. I am a smart woman, and I know that would be a very dumb thing to do. 

I am just very sad and had a weak moment. If I am meant to be a mother, then it will happen eventually. Positive thoughts! :smthumbup:


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## gearhead65 (Aug 25, 2011)

Our lives are often modeled and shaped not by what we do at our best, but how we act at our weakest. Steel your thoughts and focus on what you have, not what you think you've lost.

GearHead


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Hilly, 

Go to a sperm bank if that's what you really want.

Do not indulge him.




hilly2 said:


> I am actually thinking of asking my STBXH to get me pregnant! I know that is the stupidest thing I could ever do, but I feel like my chance to have a child is basically over. I am going to be 39 years old in a few months, and just joining the dating scene? What guy is going to want to date a woman who's biological clock is ticking so loudly?
> 
> If I have a child, I will have what I want. He got what he wanted by leaving me and having his freedom, why can't I get what I want too? Also, I will have a connection with his sisters and his family if I have his child. Last week, one if his sisters just had her second, and his other sister just found out she is pregnant again! It was a very hard week for me.
> 
> ...


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

gearhead65 said:


> Our lives are often modeled and shaped not by what we do at our best, but how we act at our weakest. Steel your thoughts and focus on what you have, not what you think you've lost.
> 
> GearHead


So easily said than done! 
I realized I wasn't appreciating what I had... now that I have lost much trying to appreciate what I have left is so hard to remember. Though I do keep telling myself to remember who I still have in my life even if my H has left me...


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## hilly2 (Jan 15, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Hilly,
> 
> Go to a sperm bank if that's what you really want.
> 
> Do not indulge him.



LOL, can you believe by dad said said basically the same thing! I really hope that I will be able to find someone that is my match and have a family the old fashioned way. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

I just can't believe how low I am feeling right now. I hate this roller coaster.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Your dad sounds like a smart guy.




hilly2 said:


> LOL, can you believe by dad said said basically the same thing! I really hope that I will be able to find someone that is my match and have a family the old fashioned way. I guess I will just have to wait and see.
> 
> I just can't believe how low I am feeling right now. I hate this roller coaster.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Yah, that sounds a little crazy, but honestly not too out there, since you recognize it as such and want to be talked down from it.
It might be a good idea to set yourself up with some consultation in the therapy department, and get yourself set up too with some long-term birth control. Get an IUD or maybe one of those long-term hormone injections/insertions. Be sure to check the risks, but they're probably going to be lower than a pregnancy. That will buy you some thinking time, planning time, let's see if this is really such a great idea time.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Hilly, I totally get it and held off on replying.

Now that you have been talked off the ledge and had a slapping or two... if you want to be a mama before the clock runs out think about the various alternatives and weigh them carefully. Being a single mama to one or so, has it's +/- and if you want to do it w/o a man then you have lots of options. Good luck in getting those dreams.


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