# Husband turns to stone when I talk about myself



## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Just wondered if anyone else has this issue.

Whenever I attempt to tell my H stories about what is going on with me at work, things I am working on or want to do in the future, my community activism, etc., he turns into statue man.

As in, staring straight ahead, no acknowledgment of what I've said, no "uh huh" or "hmmm", not even a nod. Just stony silence.

Now, it's not like I run home and regale him with long-winded tales of office gossip- that is NOT what I'm talking about. I mean major issues or events that you would normally at least mention to your spouse, or just telling him a quick funny story.

Silence.

I actually tried doing the same thing to him when he was telling me about HIS stuff- and it felt so weird I couldn't even do it! And yes, he definitely wants to tell me all about his projects and issues (he does community theater)- I hear all about rehearsals, issues with other actors, etc. etc., and he certainly expects me to participate in the conversation- I ask questions, commiserate, offer advice...And I mean, I want to hear about what's going on with him, he's my husband!

My ex-boyfriend also turned to stone when I talked about anything that didn't directly involve him. When I told my mother about it she said my father did the same thing. For a while I thought well, this is the way men are.

Now I think I'm just dating men like my father, who aren't really capable of giving emotionally.

Anyone have a similar experience?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

pink_lady said:


> For a while I thought well, this is the way men are.
> Now I think I'm just dating men like my father, *who aren't really capable of giving emotionally*.


I believe you are correct on this assumption...My husband is nothing like this, he always gives me his undivided attention, he will ask about my day, and show interest in anything I am interested in... and he is not faking it either. It is a common complaint though among women... in this article ... 

Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever....this is #5 on the list...



> *Learn to Listen:* Simple, but powerful. All those women out there who complain their men don't listen may be right: Listening does not come naturally to men. The good news is: It's a skill that can be learned. Men can make small changes and in turn make their wives feel like they're being heard. First, turn off the TV. Second, make eye contact with her. And third, don't pace; stand stil


Here are a few others....

Why Don't We Listen To Women? - AskMen

5 Tips on How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You - wikiHow

The Emotionally Unavailable Man: Books


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You know, I sometimes think we women expect too much from men. I know in my own life, being a 50 year old woman who has been through a LOT, I've had to deal with things about which I was woefully unprepared. Early in my marriage we moved out of state, away from our hometown and neither of us really knew how to make new friends. He was super busy with work and I was alone and isolated with a new demanding baby. I had no women I could talk to, none of my friends were married and none of them had kids, no relationship with my own mother, sisters weren't married. I was soooo lonely but didn't recognize it until we moved back to our hometown. During those years our marriage disintegrated into roommates who faught about sex, or lack thereof. Clearly, I had lot of emotional needs that went unmet, but I couldn't identify them accurately, couldn't begin to ask that they be met, and just got angrier and lonelier as the next few years went by.

Those early years set a bad precedent; when H was working 12 hour days and so exhausted that when he was home, he slept or watched TV. Fast forward about 15 years and we've got 3 kids and a pattern of me doing my thing with the kids and house and he doing his thing with work and rest and I was ready to leave this disengaged, distant and emotionally vacant marriage behind. We put the kids first, we never went anywhere or did anything as a couple other than once or twice a year and obviously that was a drop of rain in the desert.

I blamed him for my unhappiness, he couldn't take that I was unappreciative of how hard he worked to provide for us. As the years went by, the underlying tension turned to resentment, there were times I hated him, hated being around him, hated to hear him talk, hated the times he wanted sex when I was essentially ignored except in my role as a mother and home maker. He always acknowledged a clean home and well cooked meal but I could serve it naked and he would have no comment. He thought being a good provider was all that was expected, all I had a right to want from him. If he provided our means to live, I should provide the warm place into which he could slake his lust.

When I go back over our 28 year marriage, I can not believe we are still together for there were not many good times between us, conversely, there were not many horrible times. Just growing distance, growing disengagement, growing anger and resentment. We loved our kids, we loved being parents, we parented very well together but only in our separate roles.

So, I don't have specific "do this don't do that" advice for a wife dissatisfied with a disengaged, distant H. But knowing what I understand now I would caution that expecting H to know what you want, to understand what you're talking about, to really get it is pissing in the wind if he has an inkling that HE is being BLAMED for anything. It makes men like this shut down totally, completely unavailable to hear you.

I can't underscore that point enough. Any time he noticed I was unhappy, and it turns out he did notice, he felt BLAMED, which made him shut down even more.

Keep doing the same things to get your needs met and you keep getting the same results obviously means whatever it is that your doing isn't working, even though it SHOULD work.

I stopped trying and several years ago and told him I was either going to have an affair (thus get my needs met to have an emotional connection with someone who made me feel wanted, desired, and affirmed as a woman) or leave him. During the next 4 years I was hit with a dying sibling -ALS, a parent with Alzheimer's, my own cancer, and a second sibling dx stage IV, being partial care giver to all 3 while undergoing my own surgeries. If it weren't for my dear dear friends who jumped in, I know I would have completely broken down.

Because I stopped trying I stopped wishing for his emotional support and soaked up the support from friends. Learned for real this time that I was responsible for my own happiness and two weeks ago made plans to leave H.

He finally got it when I presented the plans. He recognized his minimal attempts meant nothing. I'm starving and he occasionally offered a bite of a bologna sandwich. If you have a pet you'd spend more effort to learn how to take care of it, you wouldn't insist the pet love you unconditionally if you consistently neglected to care for it. Tossing it some food every now and then isn't enough. Providing a shelter isn't enough. 

Some men can't see the trees for the forest and some women can't see the forest for the trees. Maybe leaving him, or being fully emotionally prepared to leave was the catalyst that he needed to take a few steps into honestly seeking to understand what went wrong, or maybe I was resigned enough that I wasn't blaming him anymore. I calmly stated I have a need and I want a life that will enable that need to be met. For the first time he had to try to understand how that need could be met. I gave him a link for marriage builders, where he could be informed in a non threatening way how to identify needs and how they might be met. Prior to that day I would learn from reading various articles or books and then communicate to him what I learned. Bad move. He needed to to hear it direct from the source, not through my filter. I thought I had been making it easier for him by doing the searching and learning and was always frustrated that he didn't hear what I was trying to communicate. Because the info came through my filter... DUH!!!!

This week has been...so cathartic for me. We are learning, enthusiastically learning, how to identify and meet one another's needs. I am, surprisingly, not angry that its taken such drastic measures for meaningful change. There is no more, "if you loved me you would..." Now we both think and say, have I made your day better today? Have I helped you to feel the love I have for you?

I didn't intend to write my marriage bio in answer to your question. I do hope that in reading this narrative, you spot similarities and are able to find a way to understand him, in time to save yourself from years of misery and unhappiness.

Lastly, my father was the only parent who made me feel parental love. He was extremely affectionate, loving and as an adult daughter I enjoyed his few remaining years as we had a wonderful supportive relationship. My husband is nothing like my father.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> Just wondered if anyone else has this issue.
> 
> Whenever I attempt to tell my H stories about what is going on with me at work, things I am working on or want to do in the future, my community activism, etc., he turns into statue man.
> 
> ...


PinkLady, my question is....how long do you talk? I remember many times (early in my marriage)when I got home and put one foot in the back door...and my wife started "unloading" all kinds of stuff that happened that day. I hadn't even put down my briefcase and I had already heard about what all of the neighbor kids are doing wrong. After 20 minutes of non stop talking...I could have turned to stone, but I always tried to listen. 

Over time, I let my wife know that men need a little time to unwind when they first get home. There are also good times and bad times for having important conversations. Example:When I go to bed, I intend to go to sleep....and I can fall asleep in about 10 seconds. So, it is not advisable to discuss world peace with me when I am laying in bed, because I won't recall ANY of it. The timing is just not good. Likewise, I know not to discuss important things when she is cooking dinner or focusing on her Hallmark shows on TV.

Could any of this be true in your case? Does this make sense?


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> Just wondered if anyone else has this issue.
> 
> Whenever I attempt to tell my H stories about what is going on with me at work, things I am working on or want to do in the future, my community activism, etc., he turns into statue man.
> 
> ...


I"m a little bit like your husband. Unless there is some type of issue I usually don't chat all that much with my husband about stuff that happened. I'm not a big storyteller. When my husband goes into long winded conversations about his day at work I pay attention to the big stuff and sort of zone out on the chit-chat. He knows when I start getting bored because my eyes start to shift and he calls me on it. Then we both laugh and watch TV.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Hey Pink. My guess is since your husband and a previous boyfriend did this to you and it happened to your mom as well then you are the common denominator. Chances of finding two, much less three, guys who do this very unusual thing means you're expecting more repsonse and misinterpreting his reaction. You know I was on team pink on the last thread of yours. I'm on team Mr pink on this one though.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

Wow Anon_Pink, that was some story in a nutshell. It seems like it's going in a happy direction. I hope pink_lady can learn from you.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> PinkLady, my question is....how long do you talk? I remember many times (early in my marriage)when I got home and put one foot in the back door...and my wife started "unloading" all kinds of stuff that happened that day. I hadn't even put down my briefcase and I had already heard about what all of the neighbor kids are doing wrong. After 20 minutes of non stop talking...I could have turned to stone, but I always tried to listen.
> 
> Over time, I let my wife know that men need a little time to unwind when they first get home. There are also good times and bad times for having important conversations. Example:When I go to bed, I intend to go to sleep....and I can fall asleep in about 10 seconds. So, it is not advisable to discuss world peace with me when I am laying in bed, because I won't recall ANY of it. The timing is just not good. Likewise, I know not to discuss important things when she is cooking dinner or focusing on her Hallmark shows on TV.
> 
> Could any of this be true in your case? Does this make sense?


I actually rarely bring up anything that isn't about my husband and his theater stuff anymore, but when I do, as I mentioned, it's like, a paragraph about something that's happening in my life. I have never expected him to be interested in office minutia and I could care less what the neighbors are doing. 

My H does not even look in my direction, or make one sound when I talk about anything that is not about him. To me, that is bizarre. When we talk about him, he participates normally.

He has not worked for a year, so it's not that he needs time to decompress after a hard day.


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## gettingout (Jan 15, 2013)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

pink_lady said:


> I actually rarely bring up anything that isn't about my husband and his theater stuff anymore, but when I do, as I mentioned, it's like, a paragraph about something that's happening in my life. I have never expected him to be interested in office minutia and I could care less what the neighbors are doing.
> 
> My H does not even look in my direction, or make one sound when I talk about anything that is not about him. To me, that is bizarre. When we talk about him, he participates normally.
> 
> He has not worked for a year, so it's not that he needs time to decompress after a hard day.


He sounds self absorbed based on this and the other thread.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Look at these men who just returned from attending a female communication workshop with their wives...if you notice this, you MIGHT have to cut back on the chit-chat.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Pink, you know I am teasing with you! Seriously, I wish you the best. Maybe the fact that he hasn't had a job in a while is making him insecure????


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## gettingout (Jan 15, 2013)

Mine does this. He will make minimal effort to listen to me - he's just waiting to talk about himself. Or just totally does the stone thing. I totally get it. And yes I had an affair with someone I could have a conversation with. Briefly. I ended it because I realized the damage I was doing to myself. No our spouses don't know. And yes it's true men and women cheat for different reasons - men for the sex and women to have someone who will listen to them. Sorry for hijacking. Please carry on.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Anon_Pink … great post and I’m that glad things are working out for you and your H!

Based on all of Pink_Lady’s posts, I do not think this has anything to do with how long or how often she talks. Unfortunately, I think I understand Pink_Lady’s posts all too well; they are all too familiar to me.

There are some spouses that will shut you out no matter what you do. I have one and perhaps Pink_Lady has one too. You can change yourself and your approach to mimic whatever communication model you can name and, it just will not work. You can be sweet, loving, admiring and accommodating and, it still will not work. 

It is as if they have a specific “picture in their head” of themselves and you as their spouse. And, if you do not consistently mirror that “picture” through your attitude and behavior then watch out because trouble is coming. Problem is they will never share that “picture” with you. Personally, I think they have some type of personality disorder or dysfunction.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Does your husband turn to stone when other people talk to him if the conversation is not him?

Personally, I find this behavior towards you rude & disrespectful.

If you can't communicate with him, then you have a very unhealthy relationship.


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## alalove74 (Sep 14, 2012)

You say he has not worked for a year...?

Is it possible that when you discuss your day (what has happened at the office, etc), he feels like you are reminding him that you are the bread winner? I don't know the circumstances of why he isn't working, but it's possible that he tunes out what you say because it makes him feel inadequate. Men like to be the providers and in this situation it doesn't sound like he is carrying his weight (providing any income). He goes on and on about what he is doing as a way to justify his day (to you and himself) even though it provided no income.

Have you told him how it makes you feel when he tunes you out? I would discuss your feelings and clarify your intentions (if the above is true) that you just want to share your day with him, no malice intended. And if he regresses into Mr. Statue while you are speaking, stop talking and ask, "Am I boring you?" Bring it to his attention. Tell him he is making you feel bad!


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Pink wants him to change with good reason. She's also trying to change him, remind him to do this or that. So anything she says he he can interpret or misinterpret as her telling him what to do which shuts him down. It's amazing how many conversations can be internalized as a personal attack when someone expects it.

It's a parent child relationship and he's rebelling like a child by going stone. A lot of people really comfortable drawing unemployment. Now the checks have stretched out up to 2 years which can ruin someone. It's very hard to go from getting a check for nothing to having to work and take orders for it. Eventually unemployment will dry up and it's in pink's best interest to not enable him even a little bit. He's been enabled long enough. He fits the "do enough to get by" type by pinks definition. At 20 - 25 years old this works out ok but by 40 it makes a bitter unhappy man who blames the world for his lack of accomplishment. Unless he get's past this, he's broken as a partner.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

alalove74 said:


> You say he has not worked for a year...?
> 
> Is it possible that when you discuss your day (what has happened at the office, etc), he feels like you are reminding him that you are the bread winner? I don't know the circumstances of why he isn't working, but it's possible that he tunes out what you say because it makes him feel inadequate.


I bet this is part of it- everything is a challenge to him instead of me simply wanting to talk to my husband. I suppose deep down he does feel bad about not earning money, despite his refusal to make any effort to get a job.

It feels like a way of putting me in my place. Similar to the way he pretends I don't exist when we're with his friends. (That's a whole other thread)


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> So anything she says he he can interpret or misinterpret as her telling him what to do which shuts him down. It's amazing how many conversations can be internalized as a personal attack when someone expects it.
> 
> It's a parent child relationship and he's rebelling like a child by going stone. A lot of people really comfortable drawing unemployment. Now the checks have stretched out up to 2 years which can ruin someone.


:iagree:

Unemployment extensions have NOT helped his situation at all. They only make it harder to get a job when they finally run out.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I'll throw this out there. I can't say if it applies to this situation or not. 

Many men feel the need to resolve their wives issues. If she says she's thirsty he'll assume she's asking him to get her some water. Or if she says she feels underappreciated at work he'll take it as she wants him to figure out some way for her to receive more recognition. 

When confronted by issues he feels powerless over it can be very stressful. Perhaps he's freezing because he simply doesn't know how to respond.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

could be a few things......maybe...

A. You talk to much
B. You ask for input when you don't really want it.
i.e. Honey where should we plant this tree.......honey says out front......honey get's questioned 6 more times as to why out back isn't the better idea.
C. Providing too much useless information
i.e. honey asks "did you pick up the dry cleaning"....you say well, I was going to the drycleaners when I had to swerve on the road to prevent hitting a caterpillar. I stopped to see if it was ok, and another person stopped and we got to talking......you know he's a dermatologist, and I made an appt for next week to get this rash checked out. His office is right next to the bakery- you know the one with the good bagels. Maybe we can have bagels one Sunday..........:sleeping::sleeping:


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

I love my wife......but I find myself asking her like 3 times a day.

Is the answer to my question yes or no?

keep it simple!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Pink, honestly, it sounds like he's just not that into you, I'm sorry to say. He is only into himself. He sounds like a narcissist and they rarely are able to love others as much (or at all) as they love themselves. Most actors are narcissists, in case you haven't done any study about that subject.

They like to surround themselves with people who will adore them, but they have no plan or ability to adore others.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

How does he act around other women?


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Other women think he's the most sensitive guy ever. He constantly seeks their admiration and attention. He's the guy the local actresses go to to talk through their boyfriend troubles.


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

I don't know if my husband has always done this but he has lately. Like we are driving down the road and I am talking about something important he'll interrupt with something trivial like, look at that license plate. 

I am not a chatty person either.

People get into relationship for many different reasons. Some people like to see how much they can get for how little they can give.

I think in my case he is being passive aggressive.

I was reading more about passive aggressive behavior and it may be what he is doing to you.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

SHAME. He hasn't worked in a year and doesn't want to hear about things going on with you. This absoltely sounds like shame avoidance and depression.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Drover, if you read some other threads by Pink Lady, you might see "narcissism" instead of "shame". I haven't read anything she has said that sounds like her husband has even an ounce of shame.

If he was forced to work instead of following his "dreams" while his wife supports him, then he might feel some shame, since apparently a "job" is "beneath him". So to him, that would be shameful, to get up and actually work at a job each day.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Drover, if you read some other threads by Pink Lady, you might see "narcissism" instead of "shame". I haven't read anything she has said that sounds like her husband has even an ounce of shame.
> 
> If he was forced to work instead of following his "dreams" while his wife supports him, then he might feel some shame, since apparently a "job" is "beneath him". So to him, that would be shameful, to get up and actually work at a job each day.


That could be. Or it could be he's just locked up. Shame is big for men. It will do that to you. It will get you so wound up inside you can't do something that should be simple. 

I haven't read her other posts, but reading those will only give one side. It could be he's just a *********, or it could be she's just reading it wrong.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Try this thread on and see how it feels.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...sband-told-me-he-does-not-want-work-ever.html


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

Drover said:


> That could be. Or it could be he's just locked up. Shame is big for men. It will do that to you. It will get you so wound up inside you can't do something that should be simple.
> 
> I haven't read her other posts, but reading those will only give one side. It could be he's just a *********, or it could be she's just reading it wrong.


Toxic shame is a cause for narcissism, narcissism is actually a defence mechanism for feeling worthless inside.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

It CAN be a cause....but so can simply being totally into yourself. 

Is There an Epidemic of Narcissism Today? | Psychology Today


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

So, my H did it again the other night. We were at a bar/restaurant talking about a show he had coming up that I was thinking of writing an article about. Nice, normal conversation with both of us engaged (that revolved around his pet project, of course).

Then, I start talking about some events I'm planning with my community group - instant stone. We were sitting next to each other. He stared straight ahead, off into the bar, and did not respond in any way. No 'uh-huh', no 'hmm'- nothing.

I wish I had this on video. I mean, it is really weird.

I confronted him (just calmly telling him that when I talk about things I'm doing, he won't respond and it makes me feel like he's showing me I don't matter to him, etc.). I even demonstrated it for him so he could see how it is to be on the receiving side of that behavior.

I don't believe for a minute he doesn't know he's doing it. 

He didn't say much in response, except to tell me I 'misinterpret' how he acts. (i.e. it's my issue, and he's a victim of my unreasonable expectations).

Though this sort of thing is designed to damage my self-esteem, I'm not letting it.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> So, my H did it again the other night. We were at a bar/restaurant talking about a show he had coming up that I was thinking of writing an article about. Nice, normal conversation with both of us engaged (that revolved around his pet project, of course).
> 
> Then, I start talking about some events I'm planning with my community group - instant stone. We were sitting next to each other. He stared straight ahead, off into the bar, and did not respond in any way.


The next time this happens....quickly ask him what he is thinking about. He is clearly tuning you out and thinking about something else, or distracted It is very rude, but call him on it again when he does it. Ask him on the spot and see what he says.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> So, my H did it again the other night. We were at a bar/restaurant talking about a show he had coming up that I was thinking of writing an article about. Nice, normal conversation with both of us engaged (that revolved around his pet project, of course).
> 
> Then, I start talking about some events I'm planning with my community group - instant stone. We were sitting next to each other. He stared straight ahead, off into the bar, and did not respond in any way. No 'uh-huh', no 'hmm'- nothing.
> 
> I wish I had this on video. I mean, it is really weird.


Saying it's weird is minimizing and rug sweeping. He's either got delusions of grandeur or he's playing games. *Make no mistake it's not innocent behavior* and there's motive behind it. Likely he's trying to manipulate you into craving his "so special" attention so you'll forget that he's been pretty useless for a long time. What a lucky girl you are pink to get to be seen with him. That's what reaction he's going for anyway.


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## ComicBookLady (Feb 28, 2012)

Forgive me if some of this was said already, I was not able to read through all the posts yet.

I feel like this could be 1 of 2 things, or a combination of the two.

1) Men are genuinely NOT that interested in topics we talk about. We love to speak about details, and feelings, and a lot of things men view as "not as important to talk about".They love US sure, and want to care about the things we care about, But for some men it's plain difficult to force themselves to BE interested. This isn't a something in which he's trying to hurt you, but you should let him know how it makes you feel.

2) "turning to stone" when faced with verbal talking is a trait of a RIGHT BRAINED DOMINANT person. When these people are faced with a verbal onslaught (aka: listening to someone  ) it is too much information for them and they shut down (turn to stone).

I myself am right brained, and I am tremendously guilty of turning to stone when my husband speaks about ANYTHING. I don't mean to! It hurts him, and I have to let him know over and over again that I DO care what he says and I have to work HARD on learning listening techniques because it's very hard for me to "stick with" a conversation. Even reading is difficult.

You can research online to find out about right brained/left brained traits (most people are left). Some of the most distinct for the RB are being creative, or mechanically inclined.

Either way, I really don't think he intends to be a jerk and hurt you  And I'm very sorry for how it all makes you feel. That must be very difficult.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

ComicBookLady said:


> Men are genuinely NOT that interested in topics we talk about. We love to speak about details, and feelings, and a lot of things men view as "not as important to talk about".They love US sure, and want to care about the things we care about, But for some men it's plain difficult to force themselves to BE interested.


I don't buy it. He is engaged and talkative with good back and forth literally 5 seconds before he turns to stone, because we are talking about HIS stuff. I'm with Thundarr, I think he knows what he is doing.


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## ComicBookLady (Feb 28, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> I don't buy it. He is engaged and talkative with good back and forth literally 5 seconds before he turns to stone, because we are talking about HIS stuff. I'm with Thundarr, I think he knows what he is doing.


I'm like that with my husband too, I'm fine if it's something I already know something about. New information is what gets overwhelming almost instantly. I feel so terrible about it, because I love and respect everything my husband wants to say, but it just happens. It's better now after I studied ways to overcome it. 

I find in most cases the offending spouse truly isn't trying to hurt the other on purpose, but of course I could be wrong in this case


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

ComicBookLady said:


> Forgive me if some of this was said already, I was not able to read through all the posts yet.
> 
> I feel like this could be 1 of 2 things, or a combination of the two.
> 
> ...


How do you explain all the men who go on and on about some sport statistics or just the blabbermouth guy?


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## ComicBookLady (Feb 28, 2012)

Tigger said:


> How do you explain all the men who go on and on about some sport statistics or just the blabbermouth guy?


Haha! Yeah I know what you mean  I asked my husband about this exact thing because he tends to dominate discussions and when he's on a roll about something (his thing is directors/movies) then he's on a ROLL! There's nothing stopping him! And of course I don't want to interrupt, it feels rude to me, but he will just keep on going  (Of course I also respect that he finds this topic so interesting, I love my husband)

Basically my husband said: When he and his guy friends are together, they just all just talk when they feel like it, and won't stop talking until someone else interjects and starts talking. The loudest and most interjecting man wins the floor in most cases.

So apparently, my common female etiquette in communication (be polite, don't interrupt) was working against me, as he just took my silence as "I guess I'll just keep on talking about directors" 

Of course the answer is not to interrupt like his male friends, as unlike his friends, me doing it would be hurtful. So we found other solutions.

That's my theory anyway! 


.


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