# A know it all in your class ... how do you handle them?



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I've been taking a tennis weekly class. A bargain in my opinion as only about 4 people show up each week with one instructor and each 75 minute class is about $15.

Okay, now for what happened to day. Among the 4 of us, we're roughly matched in ability IMO. My classmates miss the balls either from the instructor or other classmates often enough to notice...... so I thought it was interesting as we were doing some drills competitively (the instructor was keeping score) and my teammate (we were organized like doubles) started telling me where to stand.... and often ...... like a ****ing drill sargent. At one point he told me not to move back because there was a ball behind ..... which was not true.

And I was thinking, where on earth did he get the idea that he was the instructor.

I finally said, I will decide my comfort level on these matters and he stopped after that. But since stuff like this happens to me every now and then, I wonder, is there something that I might be doing that brings on this kind of behavior?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

NextTimeAround said:


> I've been taking a tennis weekly class. A bargain in my opinion as only about 4 people show up each week with one instructor and each 75 minute class is about $15.
> 
> Okay, now for what happened to day. Among the 4 of us, we're roughly matched in ability IMO. My classmates miss the balls either from the instructor or other classmates often enough to notice...... so I thought it was interesting as we were doing some drills competitively (the instructor was keeping score) and my teammate (we were organized like doubles) started telling me where to stand.... and often ...... like a ****ing drill sargent. At one point he told me not to move back because there was a ball behind ..... which was not true.
> 
> ...


Some people want to win at everything.Nothing is really a game for very long,it is always a competition.
If you really want to mess with his head just fail to catch the ball a few times lol.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

I have the same issue with a couple different people in my life, and would also be interested in the replies. As for how I handle them, I find that my voice isn't usually heard, so it's easier to just ignore or internalize the remarks than to try to defend them.


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

I wouldn't take it personally, it sounds like this classmate is looking for a boost and is taking it from any direction he can. It's just really unfortunate that you happen to stand in his range of fire. 

I'd be surprised if the instructor has not said anything to your classmate yet about this. If the classmate feels bold enough to bark orders or try to take control of the class, it would be in the instructor's best interest to (privately) take them aside and kindly remind them of the dynamic involved. Worst case scenario, the classmate is dismissed for wasting everyone's time and money. 

When I was receiving my certification for dance instruction, one of the big things that was covered was how to handle these types of situations in classes (almost every type of class has one). We were, as instructors, told to find ways to regain/maintain control over the class by being observant and knowing which student will likely benefit from direct feedback or may be a problem. It sounds like this classmate may not be getting what he wants out the lessons and is either using his own instructions as a way to keep momentum and his attention going, or he's given up on the authority of the instructor and using his "knowledge" as a way to fluff his ego. 

It could be boredom, it could be personal issues he's dealing with, but at the end of the day it isn't up to you as a fellow classmate to have to deal with him. If he continues this please bring it up with the instructor, even by saying that this classmate has been giving out confusing remarks and you want clarification on what your instructor means to happen during class. Make your time and money the priority in this and let him waste his.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Ursula said:


> I have the same issue with a couple different people in my life, and would also be interested in the replies. As for how I handle them, I find that my voice isn't usually heard, so it's easier to just ignore or internalize the remarks than to try to defend them.


Try praising them for their achievements rather than feeling disrespected.This ultra competitiveness usually comes feelings of insecurity or inadequacy.By commenting positively on their accomplishments you can normally get them to calm down.
Or just tell them to **** off,either is good.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> Try praising them for their achievements rather than feeling disrespected.This ultra competitiveness usually comes feelings of insecurity or inadequacy.By commenting positively on their accomplishments you can normally get them to calm down.
> Or just tell them to **** off,either is good.


Hahaha, well one of these women is someone who is a close friend, and the other is a new coworker who is much younger than me and has been working at my office for not quite 3 months. I can't really tell either of f-off, although sometimes it's been tempting! I'll try the praise though, maybe that'll work.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Being a know it all is not limited to men, I know this. It just happens to be one today.


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