# A reason to be thankful (a little late)



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I am thankful that I am single for the time being. I am not in any kind of a relationship with a woman. I am not dating any one. 
When I first got divorced I was so desperate to be in a relationship. I dated many women and eventually found one to have a relationship with. But I was very damaged and the woman I attracted was equally damaged. The relationship flamed out quickly. A lesson learned!
After that I have continued to date off and on. At first it was to find another "replacement" for the relationship I had been missing. I didn't realize that at first. Another lesson learned!
Recognizing that made me think about my marriage in a whole new light. I realized that I had been very unhappy and started to figure out why. More lessons learned.
The more lessons I learn, the better I will be. I am learning to let go of the past. I am learning to not have expectations of others. I am learning to recognize my motivations. I am learning to accept myself for who I am and I am learning what I want/need from a relationship.
So here I am, a single man, glad of the fact that I am not in a relationship at the moment. I can use this time to work on me. I am enjoying this time with just myself. I am discovering who I am.
Now when I date I no longer feel the need to morph into something I am not in order to make the relationship work. Instead I am free to be me and allow the relationship to grow. If it does? Great! If it doesn't? Great. Either way it is another lesson learned.
So what am I thankful for? Above all else, I would say it is the lessons I am learning from the terrible pain I had experienced. In the end, if/when I do have a relationship with a woman, it will be so much better than any I have had in the past.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Well said, Ynot .


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

Indeed, well said.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Is it weird to say that I am grateful that my parents got divorced??? Their marriage helped show me exactly what I didn't want in a marriage, and as much as it was painful at times dealing with as a kid growing up, I feel like it has helped me make better choices as an adult.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

And you might discover you may never really "need" a relationship per se. It's possible the whole marriage concept has been obsoleted by the over stressed American nightmare that was just another layer of bullsheet youll peel back next. Dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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