# French method of raising children - what do you think?



## Edvardas

I look at it negatively, because I like attachment parenting. In my view of point, it is opposite to each other. I don’t want to offend any parents because we all try to be the best parents of our children. Most of us are affected by the society we live in and the parents who raised us. And the methods of raising kids come naturally. 
What do you think about this method? 
If you use it, what benefits you value most?


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## sokillme

I think you will have to go into more detail of the French method. I mean i can think of like a million jokes but I will be nice.


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## Andy1001

To start with DNA can not be used in France to decide whether a man is a child’s father or not when it comes to child support. If your wife is pregnant you are paying whether you like it or not. 
In a country where almost every politician of both sexes has a lover and these are the people who make the laws is it any wonder that they wouldn’t want to have to pay for their shenanigans when there is a poor cuckolded husband who will have to cough up.
I remember Jld having a similar thread a number of years back. The French claim that the interests of the children come first, not the parents or alleged parents. 
Doesn’t really help the poor sucker at home though.


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## BlueWoman

I think you need to add a little context to the post. 









How Do the French Parent?


Find out what French parents are doing differently in Pamela Druckerman's book, "Bringing Up BÃ©bÃ© . "




www.scholastic.com





i’ve just attached an article that explains the French parenting style. I am not a parent, but I am a child development expert. I and my thoughts on the French method is that it is no better or worse then attachment style parenting. Attachment parenting hasn’t proven to be a superior form of parenting, instead the outcomes are similar to other styles of parenting. So I think families should do what works for families outside of abuse and neglect.


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## maquiscat

While I too would like a little more information ( i will check out the link later) especially from the OP and their view on what this method entails, I will say this now. There is no one true way. There is no single universal method that will work for all. Heck, even within a single family, each child might need a different method.


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## MJJEAN

Huge fan of the French style. Very similar to how I was raised and how I raised my 3 kids.


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## pastasauce79

What about keeping a balance? 

At the end what matters is what's best for your family. Do whatever works for your family. 

I wonder how parents, and grandparents raised us without depending on a book and they did a good job. Elders are a great source of information because they've been there done that. 

My mom used the hispanic method which is the flying "chancla" (flip-flop) to our heads if we miss behaved. It worked pretty well. LoL!


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## Edvardas

pastasauce79 said:


> What about keeping a balance?
> 
> At the end what matters is what's best for your family. Do whatever works for your family.
> 
> I wonder how parents, and grandparents raised us without depending on a book and they did a good job. Elders are a great source of information because they've been there done that.
> 
> My mom used the hispanic method which is the flying "chancla" (flip-flop) to our heads if we miss behaved. It worked pretty well. LoL!


Experience of parents and grandparents some are good some are bad. Of course, it's better than nothing for a young family which never had children before. But times changes and we know more and more about the psychology of children. So we can change our behaviour, become better parents. By giving healthy food you take care of future health of kids. By taking care of their emotions in the right way your child will grow more confident. And there are lots of things you can do better.


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## Edvardas

sokillme said:


> I think you will have to go into more detail of the French method. I mean i can think of like a million jokes but I will be nice.


There are positive and negative things about French parenting. Probably attachment parenting also has some negative aspects as any other parenting methods.
What I see as biggest minus:
Usually from 2 or 4 months. age their babies are already sleeping in their rooms and do not disturb their parents ’sleep. This is one of the reasons why French children urinate in bed for a very long time
But there are lots of positive sides of it: kids are more responsible, eat healthier food, listen to parents better andother.


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## sokillme

Well I am not a big fan of American parenting at the moment.


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## SunCMars

If you look at the 20 happiest countries in the world, according to Forbes, France does not make the list.
That tells you a lot about how they raise their citizens.

In the first iteration of this ranking, the U.S. was at #11.
Then in 2010 we dropped to #19.

Guess who was the U.S. President in 2010?
Mr. Hussain Divider.


*World's 20 Happiest Countries*



Finland
Denmark
Switzerland
Iceland
Norway
Netherlands
Sweden
New Zealand
Austria
Luxembourg
Canada
Australia
United Kingdom
Israel
Costa Rica
Ireland
Germany
United States
Czech Republic
Belgium


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## pastasauce79

Edvardas said:


> Experience of parents and grandparents some are good some are bad. Of course, it's better than nothing for a young family which never had children before. But times changes and we know more and more about the psychology of children. So we can change our behaviour, become better parents. By giving healthy food you take care of future health of kids. By taking care of their emotions in the right way your child will grow more confident. And there are lots of things you can do better.


You think parents in the past didn't want the best for their children? They used what they had available to them at the time to raise them. If grandparents didn't know much about children, how come grandchildren love them? How come they feel protected and spoiled by them? 

Parents now a days feel so much pressure to become the best parents on the block. Who cares! Do what's best for your family using the resources you have available.

Having a set bedtime for my children was very important to me. My kids were sleeping in their own rooms months before turning 1. This worked for me and my family. I'm not a happy person when I don't have enough sleep. My kids have no issues sleeping on their own, and they used the potty when they were ready. Kids organs have to mature first in order for them to stop peeing at night. I think they have full bladder control by 5 or 6? I don't remember very well. 

Don't worry. Do whatever works best for your family. Relax and enjoy the ride!


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## happyhusband0005

I would say with a quick read up on the basics of the french style, we are raising our kids that way. Definitely on the sleep schedule for the babies. After about 1 month the were in their own room. We stopped going in there if they started crying unless it went on for a certain amount of time. Both my kids were consistently sleeping through the night by 3-4 months.


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## sokillme

SunCMars said:


> If you look at the 20 happiest countries in the world, according to Forbes, France does not make the list.
> That tells you a lot about how they raise their citizens.
> 
> In the first iteration of this ranking, the U.S. was at #11.
> Then in 2010 we dropped to #19.
> 
> Guess who was the U.S. President in 2010?
> Mr. Hussain Divider.
> 
> 
> *World's 20 Happiest Countries*
> 
> 
> 
> Finland
> Denmark
> Switzerland
> Iceland
> Norway
> Netherlands
> Sweden
> New Zealand
> Austria
> Luxembourg
> Canada
> Australia
> United Kingdom
> Israel
> Costa Rica
> Ireland
> Germany
> United States
> Czech Republic
> Belgium


Why is happy the goal? What about good, or moral.


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## happyhusband0005

Edvardas said:


> Usually from 2 or 4 months. age their babies are already sleeping in their rooms and do not disturb their parents ’sleep. This is one of the reasons why French children urinate in bed for a very long time
> But there are lots of positive sides of it: kids are more responsible, eat healthier food, listen to parents better andother.


This is what we did, I think it was called the Furber Method I think. My kids never wet the bed which I actually found strange because I use to assume all kids wet the beds. But after 1 month they were out of the bassinet in our room to their crib in their room. It's been quite some time but I think it was if they started crying we waiting 2 minutes before going in the first time. If they started again we waited three. We also made sure they ate well before bedtime etc. Sleeping through the night by 4 months. My kids were generally easy kids always slept really well. 

The one thing that always baffled me was the parents who would wake their babies up to eat in the middle of the night, like thats just rude, the kid is happily sleeping and you wake him up. He must think his parents are a-holes.


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## MJJEAN

happyhusband0005 said:


> The one thing that always baffled me was the parents who would wake their babies up to eat in the middle of the night, like thats just rude, the kid is happily sleeping and you wake him up. He must think his parents are a-holes.


My eldest slept through the night from 3 days old. She slept most of the day, too. Maybe eating 2-3 times during the day. The doctor was concerned she wasn't eating often enough so I was instructed to wake her for food about every 4-6 hours for a few months there.


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## SunCMars

sokillme said:


> Why is happy the goal? What about good, or moral.


Ah, live a little, grumpy!


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## Thatguyoverthere744

Since when is what the article depicts "the french style?" I'm american, raised my kids in the US, and I raised my kids this way. My home was not a democracy, it was a partnership between my wife and me and the kids were expected to do what they were told or face the consequences. They knew how we expected them to behave in a given social situation and behaved accordingly. If they didn't, they got one warning and started behaving or were punished. It's called being a parent.

To this day, with my kids grown, they all laugh when they remember that if we were out to eat and Dad whistled, you damn well better figure out why he was whistling at you.


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## dadstartingover

I was raised by an American military dad and a Spanish mom (from Spain). This was how I was raised. Now married to a German with a child on the way, this is how we will raise our kid, as well.


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## Sonja

My child gets from me one taught value, self discipline, and a conscious parenting style that whatever I do, I must not lose my child‘s trust.


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## frenchpaddy

I live in France , 
I fine children are respectful ,
but I THINK PEOPLE WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT ARE THE SAME THE WORLD OVER 
you get good bad and in between 

don't blame the system if you end up with a brat ,
I have seen people talk about their kids been bold , but I know the family life is not there so if children are left grow up with daddy and mother out partying and outer things are more important then don't ask way or what went wrong


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## jadobadal

happyhusband0005 said:


> This is what we did, I think it was called the Furber Method I think. My kids never wet the bed which I actually found strange because I use to assume all kids wet the beds. But after 1 month they were out of the bassinet in our room to their crib in their room. It's been quite some time but I think it was if they started crying we waiting 2 minutes before going in the first time. If they started again we waited three. We also made sure they ate well before bedtime etc. Sleeping through the night by 4 months. My kids were generally easy kids always slept really well.
> 
> The one thing that always baffled me was the parents who would wake their babies up to eat in the middle of the night, like thats just rude, the kid is happily sleeping and you wake him up. He must think his parents are a-holes.


Exactly, you are right.


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## She'sStillGotIt

*


Edvardas said:



Usually from 2 or 4 months. age their babies are already sleeping in their rooms and do not disturb their parents ’sleep. This is one of the reasons why French children urinate in bed for a very long time

Click to expand...

*I didn't need my infant son connected to my hip in order to care for him. He always slept in his crib and never missed a nighttime feeding or changing because he wasn't in my bed. He was my first priority and always taken care of.

He never wet the bed after he was potty trained. EVER. This is a ludicrous assumption that those who don't engage in "attachment parenting" will have kids who wet the bed for a long time.

I can't imagine a 'family' bed and all that other helicopter parenting nonsense that goes with "attachment" parenting. That's a big 'no thanks' for me.


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## EleGirl

BlueWoman said:


> I think you need to add a little context to the post.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> How Do the French Parent?
> 
> 
> Find out what French parents are doing differently in Pamela Druckerman's book, "Bringing Up BÃ©bÃ© . "
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.scholastic.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> i’ve just attached an article that explains the French parenting style. I am not a parent, but I am a child development expert. I and my thoughts on the French method is that it is no better or worse than attachment style parenting. Attachment parenting hasn’t proven to be a superior form of parenting, instead the outcomes are similar to other styles of parenting. So, I think families should do what works for families outside of abuse and neglect.


If this is the French style of parenting, I'm all for it. It's basically how I raised my son. I think it's a style very much like how most children were raised in the USA before about 1960. It's pretty much the way my parents raise all 8 of their children, me included.


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## EleGirl

Edvardas said:


> There are positive and negative things about French parenting. Probably attachment parenting also has some negative aspects as any other parenting methods.
> What I see as biggest minus:
> Usually from 2 or 4 months. age their babies are already sleeping in their rooms and do not disturb their parents ’sleep. *This is one of the reasons why French children urinate in bed for a very long time*
> But there are lots of positive sides of it: kids are more responsible, eat healthier food, listen to parents better and other.


What is your source that French children urinate in bed for a very long time?


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