# what the heck is the deal on profile pages?



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Why would someone NOT post on their profile page if they are M or F? They might be posting asking for advice on some thread, but don't have the common courtesy to give you that one shred of info about them? Whats the reason?

there are a lot of profile pages with the sex missing and the user name chosen to not give you a clue!:scratchhead:


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

murphy5 said:


> Why would someone NOT post on their profile page if they are M or F?


I've wondered about that too, especially since it only takes about three sentences to tell..:scratchhead:


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> Why would someone NOT post on their profile page if they are M or F? They might be posting asking for advice on some thread, but don't have the common courtesy to give you that one shred of info about them? Whats the reason?
> 
> there are a lot of profile pages with the sex missing and the user name chosen to not give you a clue!:scratchhead:


That is kind of peculiar.:scratchhead:


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Does it really matter?

My advice doesn't take gender into account, never really considered that.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Probably because if they put F they risk getting creeps sending them inappropriate PMs.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Lon said:


> Probably because if they put F they risk getting creeps sending them inappropriate PMs.


true, i'm sure


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

They don't want to get answers that are influenced by gender. 

They want to make it more difficult for their spouse to track them down on TAM. 

They want to discourage unsolicited PMs.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
Just general fear of data-mining. Posts usually make gender clear - but in ways that are difficult to automatically scan.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Now I wonder how many women I've told to read NMMNG...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

And this was worth a whole thread?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

there is no limit on thread space jaquen, don't stress the small stuff.

As for the OP, I don't think I have ever done a profile page. I am here to chat away during my down time, not make life long friends so don't see the need to put time into a profile. This place is good because it is anon. FB is where I spend energy on profiles etc.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

well, maybe it is just me, but if i read a post, feel i want to comment...but like a typical post there is very little information given, then i am not sure I want to get involved enough to answer. If the original one or two posts from someone are unclear, then yeah i go check their profile page to try to get a clue. 

Do women get a lot of creepy PM's here? this does not seem like that sort of website! but i guess anything is possible nowadays.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> well, maybe it is just me, but if i read a post, feel i want to comment...but like a typical post there is very little information given, then i am not sure I want to get involved enough to answer. If the original one or two posts from someone are unclear, then yeah i go check their profile page to try to get a clue.


I still don't see how Gender would help you on with ANYTHING


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Not posting info on ones profile page has never bothered me. I guess the only thing that bothered me is being de-friended. 

I understand some people needing to maintain boundaries and such and I could certainly understand a member de-friending another member who is, for a lack of a better way to express it, acting creepy. 

I also understand some folks not seeing the whole friend "thing" on a marriage forum important.

I guess, I just don't understand the, I don't want to be your "friend" any longer without explanation. I am a reasonable person and reasonable explanations I can respect. Maybe I'm just too old school and the forum world confuses me. I sometimes prefer my IRL world so much better than these ephemeral kinships and conversations. 

Just my simple opinion.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I posted nothing on my profile page.no details and no gender.I do enough details in my comments on the site.If people take issue with that,well,they can call me out on the board bc I don't accept PMs.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh, hi, Scarlet.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> Do women get a lot of creepy PM's here? this does not seem like that sort of website! but i guess anything is possible nowadays.


As a woman, I have gotten "creepy" PMs from 4 different people (although two of them were the same guy -- a troll who created a second name after he got banned the first time.) I have NEVER received an inappropriate message from any of the "regulars" here. (Trolls try d*mn hard to "become" regulars though). Lol.

None of the creepy PMs were over-the-top explicit in any way, just weird, odd, perhaps "fishing." I never answer those or even read past the first line or two.

I don't PM people a lot, but there are a few posters who I happily send or receive the occasional PM. Usually something I thought they would find funny...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

The whole "creepy men" thing makes no sense to me. Why would any man think that was a way to impress a woman? Maybe its just a twisted way to get a jolly.

My wife and I have talked about how advances are very different between men and women. Almost any advance out of the blue unnerves women, and I understand why.

For me, something like that would just seem peculiar. I'd actually worry mostly about hurting the woman's feelings, rather than feel creeped out.

The fact that I have substituted a picture of Andre the Giant on my profile page seems to be keeping those creepy ladies away.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Forest said:


> The whole "creepy men" thing makes no sense to me. Why would any man think that was a way to impress a woman? Maybe its just a twisted way to get a jolly.
> 
> My wife and I have talked about how advances are very different between men and women. Almost any advance out of the blue unnerves women, and I understand why.
> 
> ...


Probably because they are lonely and have found no other way to initiate that actually works any better. And in our current society it is pretty much on the man to initiate contact if he is interested in a woman.

One of my biggest fears has always been being that creepy guy, and so I rarely ever initiate any kind of contact or dialog, when I do I am careful to not express any kind of sexual interest - and of course my results with women have always flowed from that (ie lots of friendzone to go around).


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

The internet is full of crazy people.

Heck most of you crazies are crazy.

That is all.....


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> Do women get a lot of creepy PM's here? this does not seem like that sort of website! but i guess anything is possible nowadays.


Not even one so far. Must be my hardcore name


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

No creepy PMs here either but I have received a mean one. I think the guy was having a bad day so I gave him a pass.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I wish that the lenght in the current relationship was part of the visible profile. This is one information that for me is really relevant. My relationship was competely different 15 or ten years ago, comparing to today twenty.


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