# Partner is never happy



## rabsaque (Mar 30, 2018)

Hi i have a question, if someone can help me whit this ill appreciate i have been with my now wife for 10 years i pretty much know everything a bout her we finally were able to tie the knot on december last year but our wedding wasn't the best thing ever i must say, there were a lot of misunderstandings (due to the fact that my family are country people and her family are city people) so there were a lot of problems between them, even with the people who worked with us on the wedding, the band we hired didn't show up the dj stole my bff's phone (we are sure it was him) the decorator didn't do a good job and even the photographer did a terrible job and i mean for real the day was a disaster after another (at least the food was good i took care of that personally lmao).

Im a genuinely half full glass person i always see the best of any situation and my wedding isn't different my general opinion is it was a disaster but at least the food was good and i got married.


The problem here its my wife, she just doesn't let go, she is constantly mad and sad about all that happened, i mean im kind of sad to, i saw a side of my family i never knew they had and than makes me sad we got married on my hometown and everybody there let me down that day thats sad but well but "sht happens" you know? life goes on, but my wife doesn't seem to understand the, worst part if that the photographer gave us our photos and video but the video had the parts she didn't liked like the civilian wedding who she hated cause she hated her make up there, and well this has lead to any kind of problems with the guy who refuses to make another video.


He also still own us some services we paid him to do and he didn't perform like a "trash the dress" , but really i don't care about the pictures and the video ffs the pictures on my mom's wedding were awful but hey she and dad laugh about it all the time i mean there are just pictures but for wife its a whole deferent story for her the world just ended because the pictures are bad and the video shows parts she didn't like she cries to sleep every time she thinks about it (and i'm not making this up, she does) and i'm like seriously are't you overreacting a little? i mean most of the wedding video its me dancing like a retard for 5 minutes and i hated doing that with every atom of my body I HATE DANCING but i did it and it shows in a big chunk of the video i mean but i know is not like my life its ruined because i look like an idiot on "my big day".


Well i'm rambling but the thing is this its starting to affect me the fact she is never happy with anything we always have this problems with everything we go to a restaurant and she will find the most minimum error about the food and say it was awful sometimes even calling the manager or worst we travel and she will find a problem with the seats etc.., she is the kind of person that finds the error on everything (that results very useful sometimes) but its exhausting, yesterday she was depressed about getting her period again (she wants a baby) so i went out a bring her some Chocolate Cake and some cookies (her favorites) and all she did was to say "cake its too wet cookie its too dry" and you know what? *IT WAS MY ****ING BIRTHDAY I SPENT MY ****ING BIRTHDAY LOOKING FOR A CAKE FOR HER TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN SAY THANK YOU HONEY. *

She is an alcoholic's child (her fathers was an alcoholic most part of her childhood) so that must have something to do with that, i don't know how do i deal with someone who life its always miserable and its starting to shade mi inner light? i'm starting to fear i might become like her please help. :frown2:


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

rabsaque said:


> She is an alcoholic's child (her fathers was an alcoholic most part of her childhood) so that must have something to do with that,


Highly unlikely.


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## rabsaque (Mar 30, 2018)

So whats happening what might be the reason? i need to know in order to find help


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## rabsaque (Mar 30, 2018)

Yeswecan said:


> Highly unlikely.



I heard that children of alcoholic parents tent to have low serotonin levels this they are always depressed and that makes them prone to drink.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

rabsaque said:


> I heard that children of alcoholic parents tent to have low serotonin levels this they are always depressed and that makes them prone to drink.


I have 3 known full blown alcoholics in my bloodline. The closest being my father. Depression is not something I suffer. I don't drink but few beers now and then. I have 4 siblings with no effects. 

Your W has her period(wants a baby). Period means no baby in the works. Hormones kicking. Depression sets in. Not sure how alcohol got into the equation as the cause.


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## rabsaque (Mar 30, 2018)

This is not only this time, she is always mad or sad about something, always there is not one day she isn't, some psychologist told her when she was a teen that she was like that cause as an alcoholic father child she has low serotonin levels thus she can't feel good about anything also being the daughter of an alcoholic she has a lot of trust issues she is always worried about everything going on our lives if she is not aware of every little details about everything she feels she isn't on control thus it will fail like her father failed to her when she was young.


What i'm trying to get here its some clue about what to do because so far she doesn't want to see a doctor for that and this worries me because its starting to take a toll on my sanity.


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## cc48kel (Apr 5, 2017)

It could be anxiety! My husband is a worry-wart and worries about everything.. He can't relax and is in a hurry to do most things. It drives me crazy but I'm learning to ignore it. But yes, he is very miserable and never happy. He is the breadwinner and life seems to be good so I can't figure out why except maybe it's a Mental Illness. He too will complain about the food at restaurants-- not giving him enough for the $$$ or if it taking too long, complains during X-mas thinking he was short-changed from family, when traveling yes--room is never good enough for him,etc, etc, etc. It goes on and on and on every day there is something. birds pecking the house or eating grass seed.. Afraid that someone will steal out car. I can see why ppl don't call him to hang out. We recently had hired help around the house for a few months and I was told by a couple of them that I am a saint for dealing with spouse. ha ha 

Now-- we have been married for almost 20 years and there is no way he was this bad when dating. I think it gets worse as he ages..


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## LTCNurse (Feb 5, 2018)

You have known each other for 10 years, does that mean you DATED for 10 years or just knew each other? 

Did you recognize this about her when you dated? Because this is an issue that most people would have considered BEFORE the marriage. Now that you are married, go to marriage counseling. It is not just HER problem because now...you are married to each other. Could this negative thinking or depression have originated in her childhood? Yes. But as I said before, it is a marital issue now. Find a psychologist who can help the two of you work through it. I would also suggest that you work on this issue before having a child. Please. Children can't choose their birth family and you are bringing a child into dysfunction. Hey, I've been there, done that, so I'm not judging!


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