# Desires mess with sanity



## wjane (Jan 22, 2009)

As my title suggests friends this is something I am dealing with my husband. We are not at all financially dependent but then cant call ourselves wealthy too. Both of us work and we make enough to make our life comfortable. Over the last few months though my DH has developed a keen interest to buy some of the expensive electronic gadgets just because some of his friends have done so. For instance he wants that 65" Plasma TV fitted in our bedroom right now but he knows he has not got the necessary finances to arrange that. He would keep thinking about what he could not achieve and consequently become depressed. I tried explaining him in so many ways but he just wont budge, I am afraid now this might soon ruin our marriage. Any advices how can I make him think sensibly?

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birthday gift


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

maybe he has a lot of self-worth invested in the things he has. maybe you two can talk about different ways of feeling good about oneself?


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## digimix (Jan 8, 2009)

I think he may be hanging with the wrong friends. If they earn the same as he does they may be feeling the same pinch after their purchases. I know what that feels like wanting a new electronic gadget or two. I agree that you must sit with him to try to figure out how to make him find some self worth and not be dependent on "things" to make him happy. However what helps me most is when my wife enthusiasticly helps me to creatively come up with the answer to the question "how can I afford this?" The moment you say that you cannot afford something your mind shuts down and that thought becomes your reality. When you ask how can you , the answer shows up after much thought and wonder. Let me give you a hint or example. Most men collect stuff, they get excited when they just get it then after some time they forget about it (much like kids and their toys). If it went missing they would not miss it. Why not have a garage sale and clean out the house of all the collected clutter you may have. Then you may come up with some of the money for the TV. There is overtime at work, take on a side job, anything to increase your income to save to purchase the dream item. I know this will not and cannot buy happiness but it may get your husband his TV.


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## onlylonelyone (Jan 26, 2009)

That was a really great suggestion digimix, and coming from a husband too makes it even better, lol :smthumbup: I think I will take that advice myself


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