# trust



## jlenten (Jun 5, 2018)

Anyone else have trouble with their spouse not trusting them? Whenever i am texting ANYONE, she want to know. when i am not within her sight, she is calling checking on me and where i am every hour.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

jlenten said:


> Anyone else have trouble with their spouse not trusting them? Whenever i am texting ANYONE, she want to know. when i am not within her sight, she is calling checking on me and where i am every hour.


curious what about her, when she texts someone do you ask who she is texting....do you ask where she is going and when she will be back? 

There are a couple reasons why some one would behave in this manner

1. You have done something in the past that brings in doubt the trust she has in you 
2. Low self esteem on her part for some reason
3. She is the one who is not trustworthy, so she becomes paranoid that you might be untrustworthy as well. 
4. Some incident happen to a family or close friend and now she is second guessing you because she does not want what happen to them happen to her.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Lostinthought61 said:


> curious what about her, when she texts someone do you ask who she is texting....do you ask where she is going and when she will be back?
> 
> There are a couple reasons why some one would behave in this manner
> 
> ...


Or she has been cheated on by another man. OP have you talked to her about this? It sounds like she could use some therapy to deal with this issue. Eventually it will become a big issue.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

What was she like when you were dating her?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

After giving my ex fiancé and afterwards my ex girlfriend, 100% trust, I learned that it is best to have a healthy amount of distrust. My wife goes out without me three nights a week, texts people all day long and walked either into another room or outside when she is on the phone. Yet, we both can track each other with our iPhones and occasionally we will ask questions. I know where my wife goes. I know the girls she goes with are married longer than our 46 years to the same person and do not drink or talk about sex. I am not even bothered that my wife has a male card playing partner at times. However I do spot check and let her know that I am not an easy mark like the husbands of all the guys I travelled with on business whose wives swore to my wife that their husband would never cheat when I knew that they did. Those who trust 100% are the easiest ones to cheat on. 

Some spouses want their partner to be a little jealous. To think they are attractive enough to interest others. They do not want to be taken for granted or they may feel that he/she does not think others would find me attractive. Depends on the person. Remember I said a healthy dose of mistrust and there is a find line between that and being overly jealous to the point were your spouse figures you are blaming him for cheating so he might as well do so. It can also just get so annoying that he or she cannot live that way anymore. Our marriage lasted 46 years because we gave each other space. If someone is going to cheat, they will cheat. If you think about it, why would you want to be with someone who you have to keep on a tight leash? That is not displaying love. 

Perhaps a marriage consular would help or do as we do, trust that no matter what, the other will keep your marriage and you foremost in his or her life. Our secret to longevity is that we give each other space. We do not spend a lot of time together. We do not share any of the same interests and we have different friends. Yet we still love each other.


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