# Not sure where to go from here.....



## oli (Sep 23, 2011)

First off I have found alot of interesting topics here...
Very nice forum!
A word of caution--there is some talk in the following post that is open minded sexually, I don't want to offend.
I will give some details, I'm not one to hold much back anyway.
My wife and I were high school sweet hearts, married before out of school. Very very "normal" no drink, drugs etc...very plain and boring at times LOL
Yes she was pregnant but that was the only way her father would let her marry or so in our minds we thought.
The first year or so was rocky, she was a daddy's girl (admittedly). Also a tad stubborn, make that a little more than a tad LOL
We were both a little selfish I'm sure just getting "who we were" defined.
The next 16 or so years were uneventful really.
We were our only friends and we were fine with that. We did EVERYTHING together.
She still remained a little spoiled, but I helped it along....she was my world. We sort of spoiled each other LOL
We dabbled with swinging which I go into alot of detail on in another post.
Long story short she fell in love with a "play" partner.
I was over 2 years time "forced" to love the female of the couple.
Which after time I didn't mind, we were alot alike and it worked fine.
Then she (wife) started smoking cigars with the male.
Not alot only when together with them and was courteous about it.
The she wanted a tattoo, I only heard about it from others.
She "asked" me the day she was to get it if she could.
My response, "kind of late to ask now isn't it" and walked away.
She now has 7. Then she started drinking daily, then some other substances.
One of her drunken episodes she told me she hated me and wished I was dead.
I have found that she is smoking cigarettes.
She has had 9 plastic surgeries, of which I said ok to only 3 of.
One of which she neglected me completely until I gave in.
We have always agreed we would always discuss everything we do before doing it. Nothing one sided.
In the middle of all of this, she fell out of love with the male and fell in love with another we met (while with the other couple as all six friends).
This forced me to give up the female of the couple which crushed me.
She never has sex with me unless I basically, "take" it.
Which one time she says she likes, the next she doesn't.
She bounces from loving me, to hating me. Most generally I am a roommate.
I grew up in a very affectionate family and the lack of touching makes me die inside a little more each day.
She lies about everything, which hurts me very much. 
I really don't know what to do.
I started my marriage with one person and now 23 years later the person I am in bed with is no where near the same.
We all change I know, but this is so drastic.
I've mentioned counseling and she just gets quiet or mad.
I just don't understand how 2 people that viewed were each others worlds could become so distant.....wickedly distant.

TY for listening to me

O


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## ThirdTimeACharm (Sep 1, 2011)

oli said:


> First off I have found alot of interesting topics here...
> Very nice forum!
> A word of caution--there is some talk in the following post that is open minded sexually, I don't want to offend.
> I will give some details, I'm not one to hold much back anyway.
> ...


You brought immorality into your marriage and you find that there is a price. You opened the door to depravity and this action is akin to defecating on your mothers face, so to speak. You sheeted on your sacred relationship and found irreparable damage was done. You allowed another mans penis to penetrate your sweetie. 

There is no hope of restoring the love and respect lost.

Leave her and clean up your dirty ways. Then find someone new and never again bring depravity into your sacred bond.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I don't usally say this but in this case

Divorce her cheating lying selfish butt. 

She sounds like she is only using you for a paycheck. You can do so very much better than the abusive awful skank she is
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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