# Could the end be THIS close???



## Kukuy (Aug 2, 2012)

After about a year of temporary orders the time is nearing for my scheduled final court appearance and I am a G-dang nervous wreck! Still i know im not the only one that has ever been in this situation so how did you all handle the last few weeks pending your final court date? 

I feel like despite the fact that i should be comfortable in my position, I cannot relax now... 

i have my argument documents, evidence and most importantly the stability i have been able to provide to my kdis WITHOUT her assistance so while i am confident, i dont want to relax in a way lol

How did some of you manage the stress of the last few days before your final court dates!?


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## Gonnabealright (Oct 24, 2013)

I haven't got through my divorce yet and we don't have kids. I bet others here have all felt the exact same way you do, stressed out. Your stress should go away after the trial I would assume. Atleast then you'll know what you'll be getting, no more guessing and stressing about it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I just kept busy on other things as much as possible. Don't know if there is a better way.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

Let me know if you figure it out as I am just a bit behind you. My final court date is mid November. No kids, but no negotiation from STBXH at all on the settlement, guess he would rather face at least 3 counts of contempt and then pay me what he is going to owe me.


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## Kukuy (Aug 2, 2012)

I haver friends that have gone through this... they've explained to me what all is going to take place and how it is all "supposed" to play out but as i am sure some of you know... each judge is different, each divorce is different.

i for one will have to deal with everything from custody to financial issues so that simply adds to the stress of it all! playing multiple scenarios in my head, how and when I want my lawyer to bring evidence and trying to figure out how this judge will take all of this?

GAAH im sweating just thinking about it...


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

Best of luck. I haven't found anyone who has been through it. Most everyone I know managed to settle out of court, so I am completely in the dark. My attorney is suppose to call this afternoon so maybe I will get some insight then. Also my STBXH just got a new lawyer yesterday, (this attorney has been considering taking his case for about a month now) but we are one week from the prelim hearing, so I don't know if there is time to reach a settlement before the hearing. But this has been going on for over 1 1/2 years so I do not want to postpone the hearing. We did that last March because we were going to come to an agreement and there has been no negotiation since, partially because when he finally met with his 1st attorney to discuss my settlement proposal it ended with his attorney withdrawing from the case. Took STBXH 3 months after that to even look for another attorney. And if I postpone it will be another six months before I get another court date.

Anyway, if you care to share what to expect, I would be very appreciative.


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

Here was my experience: I met my soon to be ex wife of 8 years at the courthouse. We both arrived about 15 minutes early & sat on a bench outside of the chambers. We made no contact, but occasionally glanced up at each others "fallen" faces. The time came, we were called in before a judge, who asked if we were here freely & wished to dissolve this marriage, we agreed, signed our names & he legally declared us divorced. I left as fast as I could & didn't look back. Suddenly I felt a huge burden lifted, but was replaced with a sad reality & a flood of backed up tears. Each day got easier because it was official. No more guessing, wondering, waiting or hoping, we were done!!
8 years of a mostly happy marriage, that ended because of her cheating & wanting the single life back. 21 years later, she is still single & bitter & I'm 17 years into a 2nd marriage, which isn't what I had hoped for, but I've accepted it.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

Mine won't be that easy as the judge will be deciding our property split.


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## Kukuy (Aug 2, 2012)

That would be the ideal way to have it happen, however things take a turn for the worse when there are kids involved (We have 2 kids who are living with me

I for one dont see me as being sad when the time comes to leave her behind, this has been a long time in the making and i should have known better than to involve myself with someone like the STXW


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

We did have two sons, 5 & 2 at that time. We both had lawyers & had everything ironed out before court. I made more money so I got stuck with most of our debt & high child support. Gotta love it!!


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

I haven't filed yet but have looked into it with a lawyer. I live in CA, according to my lawyer if the divorce is uncontested (which it will since we have to kids, I don't want alimony) we will not have to go to court.

I am still waiting to file because he expects me to file and I need the financial resources first. Once I have the money, I will file but he will have to go half with me!!


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## Kukuy (Aug 2, 2012)

You folks are lucky... :\

I have a sinking feeling that mine will not go as well


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## TexDad034 (Oct 9, 2013)

I am one month into my temporary orders. Luckily I get my son during the week, and she has to gave him on the weekends. Sucks because she was the one who left us, to stay with another man. The judge ordered mediation, but I have zero desires to mediate with someone who abandoned me and her son. I never wanted any of this crap. We have an amicus coming to each of her places when we have our son. Luckily, I have the house still and all of his stuff. She actually sent a 5 page list of things she wanted to my lawyer. Had the audacity to ask for EVERYTHING in our son's room. I gave her a frame. haha. I have been super dad since the day she left, documenting, journaling, and taking pictures, so I really have no need to change what I have been doing. All the while, I have been doing a 180 and loving it. More attention, better health, and hanging out with friends. Where has all of this been?


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## Kukuy (Aug 2, 2012)

TexDad034 said:


> I am one month into my temporary orders. Luckily I get my son during the week, and she has to gave him on the weekends. Sucks because she was the one who left us, to stay with another man. The judge ordered mediation, but I have zero desires to mediate with someone who abandoned me and her son. I never wanted any of this crap. We have an amicus coming to each of her places when we have our son. Luckily, I have the house still and all of his stuff. She actually sent a 5 page list of things she wanted to my lawyer. Had the audacity to ask for EVERYTHING in our son's room. I gave her a frame. haha. I have been super dad since the day she left, documenting, journaling, and taking pictures, so I really have no need to change what I have been doing. All the while, I have been doing a 180 and loving it. More attention, better health, and hanging out with friends. Where has all of this been?


I am also in Tx and i have both my kids with me while the temporary orders are in effect for the final trial so I know EXACTLY how you feel!

It has been and will be an uphill battle for me as most courts in Tx. are mom-friendly courts but what i have on my side is that i have been the one who has mostly cared for the kids since they were 2-4 weeks old while working my 40+ hrs shifts and mantaining a household.

Since the temporary orders have been in place I have done nothing different than what i was doing before except now i am under the scrutiny of the court which makes the whole process a bit more nerve wrecking than it should be.


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