# Falling in love



## Monday25 (Jan 27, 2010)

Has anyone here fallen in love with their OP? Is it always the "disloyal dizzies" or has anyone actually fallen in love and stayed with the person they cheated with?
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## Monday25 (Jan 27, 2010)

Monday25 said:


> Has anyone here fallen in love with their OP? Is it always the "disloyal dizzies" or has anyone actually fallen in love and stayed with the person they cheated with?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok, maybe I asked this the wrong way...most of us here are the loyal/not the disloyal. So, have any of your offending spouses gone to be with and stayed with the person they were cheating with? There is purpose to this question and I welcome any/all replies. Thanks in advance.
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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

I'd say that nearly everyone who has an affair is 'in love.' That is usually the reason for the affair. Unless it is directly related to sexual release, and no desire to commit, it would be very difficult to find anyone who got involved with another person without the accompanying emotions we tend to group together as 'love.' 

And yes, occasionally, after the affair ends, people are able to pull together and create a marriage. Statistically that is very small (I am not a fan of stating statistics - let's just say its a handy way to describe a process.)


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## alabama (Aug 6, 2010)

from what my WH has said/done...

he did buy "i love you" cards for her, never sent- hence i found them after WH moved back in. they were bought the weekend before dday.

on dday i did ask WH if he loved OW and he said he didn't know. i kicked WH out within the hour of finding out about the A. WH and OW moved into a motel together that evening. i went to an attorney within the week to get the D filed. i put our home on the market the next day.

i really thought they would stick together and make it. had common interest (beer and football and worked together)

within two weeks he was asking to move back. as is well said on this site. once the fantasy pop and real life enters the relationship cracks start to happen.

i think some major issues contributing to their relationship not working out were that WH and OW had only know eachother for a couple of days before the A (i was in a different state with a newborn packing up our old home) i think most work A have a greater potential for lasting assuming that the two people have know eachother for a while and can form some real bonds.

another breaking point for WH and OW was they could escape their burden of family life durning the A. each had kids. they now had to work out visitations. during the A, WH was never around.

i "think" another issues was that OW expected to live the life WH and I had (nice house, travel, being a SAHM, etc) i think it was shock for both of them living in a motel. not her sugar daddy (during the A he bought her $$ gifts and $$ meals) WH knew he was going to be stuck with alimony plus child support for the next 19yr! he had just stopped paying for his 2dc from his 1st marriage last year. WH was now facing trying to find a place he could afford for them and 4 kids. they either had to have all 4 kids at once otherwise it would be his kids one weekend and her kids the other. when would they go out and get drunk.

i truly believe that if i wouldn't have allowed WH to move back home he would have stayed with OW. neither of them want to be alone. the first night after WH said he broke up with OW, she came back to his motel and spent the night. WH said she was too drunk to drive home and he was too drunk to take her. WH called me the next morning to confess.


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