# So confused any help out there?



## shooby1213 (Dec 10, 2013)

I have been married for 18 years. very tough but very loving. My husband has left me 4 times over the past 18 years and always came back. the 4th just happened over a month ago. He said I was always depressed and he was not in love anymore. I know most of you will think he cheats, but I know for a FACT he hasnt and thats not denial. Since then I have focused on myself, losing weight, going back to college making friends. About a week ago and a half ago we had a VERY deep convo and at the end of it I said even if you asked to come home right now I would say no, I need to work on myself and you need to do the same. Since then he texts me everyday, asking how I am what Im up to. says hes proud of me tells me Im a amazing etc. We spend his days off together. and we have two kids together. But we spend time just he and I. He is actually being more thoughtful and attentive then EVER and even bought me thoughful gifts. We are acting like best friends now. Any advice for me? ohhh there was a guy interested in me, he found out and thought he was stalking me, he even asked to call the guy to leave me alone, he has even checked my phone to see if it was him If I got a text. :scratchhead:


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## cbnero (Dec 6, 2013)

Did this other guy have your phone #? How did that happen?


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## shooby1213 (Dec 10, 2013)

yeah I gave it to him my bad. but I was such a low point right after he left and any attention was great...I just met him for coffee and told him I was not ready to be anything but friends but he wanted more...


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

It's easier if you stick to one thread and put all relevant information.


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## shooby1213 (Dec 10, 2013)

Im sorry..Im an emotional mess.....crying as I post, I know I left some stuff out


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## cbnero (Dec 6, 2013)

Dont be too hard on yourself. Just recognize your own issues and faults. If you want your marriage to work out you need to fight for it. Coffee date and number exchange is probably not the best move. At this point you just need to own it and be honest and remorseful. Trust is key right now, and it will take time and effort to rebuild. By both of you. If one of you isn't being honest then that's a problem. Don't settle for not being honest yourself or him not being honest either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Have the two of you ever spent a significant amount of time separated, 1 to 2 years?

I do not want to be mean but your H needs to decide if he wants to be married or not, for real. Understanding that you cannot be a boomerang W anymore.

Good luck, be strong,
Stretch


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## shooby1213 (Dec 10, 2013)

no, its always been a few months or less. and I agree I deserve better than to be thrown out like garbage. My Bday is this weekend and he asked me what I wanted and next week we are going "out" to dinner and a concert. I dont know how much more I can take


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