# Massage



## vince (Jul 10, 2010)

My wife Has gone for a sports massage on an aching back. My only problem is that its a male work colleague, giving the massage, from his place of buisness(hes a professional sports masseuse).

I know thats what he does, its just the thought of a male work colleague, whom she knows well massaging my wife, am I overeactiing, im feeling really jealous. She has gone once before, but she took my son with her, and I dont remember feeling this jealous at that time.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Hi I don't think you have anything to be worried about. 
I have went to get sports massage for my back & the person was male. 

What are your concerns? Flirting or something more? 

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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

I go to a male massage therapy who practices in a physical therapy practice. He is the best massage therapist I've ever had, he is also quite unattractive. It isn't some "rub and tug shop" the atmosphere is usually quite clinical. 

If you were getting a sports massage would you be certain to have a member of the same sex do it? If the answer is yes then talk it out with your wife.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

vince said:


> My wife Has gone for a sports massage on an aching back. My only problem is that its a male work colleague, giving the massage, from his place of buisness(hes a professional sports masseuse).
> 
> I know thats what he does, its just the thought of a male work colleague, whom she knows well massaging my wife, am I overeactiing, im feeling really jealous. She has gone once before, but she took my son with her, and I dont remember feeling this jealous at that time.


I hope her back gets better.

And that you can get beyond your jealousy.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

Why don't you both go?


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Most massage therapists are very professional. Don't think you have anything to worry over. He could lose his license if he does something inappropriate. Not to say MT's never do anything inappropriate, but I would try not to worry over it. If your wife starts acting distant and strange towards you after the massage, then you would have reason to question, and then I'd talk to her about it.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

sapientia said:


> Why don't you both go?


Didn't you post saying you were leaving?

If so, glad you're back! Couldn't keep away, I guess. :smile2:


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

vince said:


> She has gone once before, but she took my son with her, and I dont remember feeling this jealous at that time.


If it bothers you that much, and I understand why it would, then ask her to take your son with her when she goes or you join her. Simple.


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## ricky15100 (Oct 23, 2013)

I wouldn't like this either, someone she works with on a daily basis, seeing her half naked and putting his hands on her in a familiar way, asking for trouble, why can't she visit a different one?

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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Yeah, I would have issues with that too.


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

OP If your instincts are telling you something is not right... Where there's smoke there's fire... I would really look into this keep your eyes open and keep your mouth shut... Check all forms of media even place a VAR in her car... if you discover something make sure you post here before confront that we can walk you through it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

tech-novelist said:


> Didn't you post saying you were leaving?
> 
> If so, glad you're back! Couldn't keep away, I guess. :smile2:


There are some very lovely people here who PMd me and convinced me to stay.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

What is the business connection? Does your wife also work in same field? To me that makes a big diference.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

*Deidre* said:


> Most massage therapists are very professional. Don't think you have anything to worry over. He could lose his license if he does something inappropriate. Not to say MT's never do anything inappropriate, but I would try not to worry over it. If your wife starts acting distant and strange towards you after the massage, then you would have reason to question, and then I'd talk to her about it.


 This issue is not if the massage therapist will act unprofessional during the massage and thus endanger his licence. The issue is that this is a male coworker seeing her half naked and touching her in what would normally be inappropriate ways for an opposite sex coworker. Once this touch boundary is crossed on the massage table, it will be much easier to cross it elsewhere. Their relationship at the office will by its nature be changed. 

To ignore the fact that most affairs are with co-workers is silly. It does not matter if she sees a male or female massage therapist, as long as it is not a male massage therapist that she knows and sees on a regular basis at work. She needs to change massage therapist immediately.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

Getting a massage is fine but getting it from a coworker I think crosses a boundary. 
She should find a different massage therapist if for no other reason than it bothers you. 


Sent from my iPhone


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## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

vince said:


> My wife Has gone for a sports massage on an aching back. My only problem is that its a male work colleague, giving the massage, from his place of buisness(hes a professional sports masseuse).
> 
> I know thats what he does, its just the thought of a male work colleague, whom she knows well massaging my wife, am I overeactiing, im feeling really jealous. She has gone once before, but she took my son with her, and I dont remember feeling this jealous at that time.


One of the men at my work is a trained massage therapist and I would not want him massaging me. That is just me though. There is honestly nothing in it but absolute pain if its deep tissue. They use modesty sheets and towels.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

TRy said:


> This issue is not if the massage therapist will act unprofessional during the massage and thus endanger his licence. The issue is that this is a male coworker seeing her half naked and touching her in what would normally be inappropriate ways for an opposite sex coworker. Once this touch boundary is crossed on the massage table, it will be much easier to cross it elsewhere. Their relationship at the office will by its nature be changed.
> 
> To ignore the fact that most affairs are with co-workers is silly. It does not matter if she sees a male or female massage therapist, as long as it is not a male massage therapist that she knows and sees on a regular basis at work. She needs to change massage therapist immediately.


That's true, hadn't thought of it like this.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Agree with @TRy , the issue I believe is it is a co worker. I am guessing the OP wouldn't have as much of an issue if a male gave his W a massage who wasn't a co worker (OP can confirm this). 

Just speaking from a business standpoint, I would mark this off as questionable at best. W should find a different masseuse elsewhere. This would benefit the guy anyway as IMO putting your hands all over a half naked co worker just opens himself up to a possible lawsuit, accusations, etc... (you can never be too careful in the workplace).


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

Your wife getting a full body rub down by a co-worker? No way...


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

TRy said:


> This issue is not if the massage therapist will act unprofessional during the massage and thus endanger his licence. The issue is that this is a male coworker seeing her half naked and touching her in what would normally be inappropriate ways for an opposite sex coworker. *Once this touch boundary is crossed on the massage table, it will be much easier to cross it elsewhere. Their relationship at the office will by its nature be changed. *
> 
> *To ignore the fact that most affairs are with co-workers is silly.* It does not matter if she sees a male or female massage therapist, as long as it is not a male massage therapist that she knows and sees on a regular basis at work. She needs to change massage therapist immediately.


I agree 100%. This is asking for trouble. Personally I wouldn't want any man massaging my wife but a co-worker that she sees on a daily basis? That's outright dangerous. 

Just like you said, a barrier is knocked down. Rubbing and feeling a woman for a whole session with her wearing a towel is real intimate. Talk about creating a bond.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Yes she definitely should be going to someone else.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

A massage from a man is fine. A massage from a co-worker opens up too many possibilities of issues.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Some may call it insecurity, on your part.

Some may say that this is being overly-jealous.

Some may say that *tactile messages are OK and that many people get them with [absolutely] no thought of pre-cursor infidelity or "happy endings"----> Pulp fiction and porn, feed that beast.



This is presently a Pink Flag, not having enough Red-Corpuscles to raise it Eye-Yai-Yai level.

YOUR blood-fed GUT says otherwise. The gut is a dumb beast of muscle, enzymes, long twisted tunnels of lumen.... surrounded by Mucosa, Submucosa, Muscular layer, Sero.

But our Maker gave it ESP. Extraordinary Sense of Posom. 

Why? It must be part of our Evolution... a former cannibal past, where men ate anyone who sniffed after and sought to Snatch their mate's beloved Snatch.

The gut senses it's next meal.

Just a thought! 


*tactical?


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

vince said:


> My wife Has gone for a sports massage on an aching back. My only problem is that its a male work colleague, giving the massage, from his place of buisness(hes a professional sports masseuse).
> 
> I know thats what he does, its just the thought of a male work colleague, whom she knows well massaging my wife, am I overeactiing, im feeling really jealous. *She has gone once before, but she took my son with her, and I dont remember feeling this jealous at that time.*


So you didn't have a problem with your wife getting a massage from her co-worker when your son was there, but it is bothering you when your son isn't there.

That tells me that you aren't bothered by him being a co-worker, but about him being a male, and that you think your wife might or the co-worker might do something sexual when she isn't chaperoned (via her child). If that is the case, then you have trust issues with your wife - there is something about your relationship that creates doubt in your mind that your wife might look elsewhere for attention or welcome it from someone else. 

Is there a reason you feel that way? Has she done something in the past to make you susceptible to this fear?


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