# when theres unequal desire



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

question:

when sex drives are so unequal and the high drive partner has finally had enough and says this is a deal breaker. even if the low drive partner gives in and tries there always an aspect of they really are just giving you pitty sex to keep the peace.

how do you cope with the feeling of they really just don't desire me?

good sex needs both partners to desire eachother.


as I get older I would rather not have luke warm sex. because the low drive person is always satiated they will never really have a strong desire. and its kind of easy to tell its going on.


luke warm sex is ok ocasonialy but I would think when its all the time then it would be unfullfilling.


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I think it's more common for marriages to have partners with unequal drives than to have partners with always the same drive.

I am lower drive than my husband. I am happy with once every week or so, while he wants it everyday. So, we compromise. The additional times are not 'pity' sex from me - he works to arouse me and meet my other needs throughout the day and it works out very well. I am committed to him, and love and respect him. He feels the same way about me.

If you are only getting 'pity' sex from a lower drive partner, then I think it's an indication that there's more issues than just sexual ones in the marriage, imho.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Yes


think it's more common for marriages to have partners with unequal drives than to have partners with always the same drive.

I am lower drive than my husband. I am happy with once every week or so, while he wants it everyday. So, we compromise. The additional times are not 'pity' sex from me - he works to arouse me and meet my other needs throughout the day and it works out very well. I am committed to him, and love and respect him. He feels the same way about me.

If you are only getting 'pity' sex from a lower drive partner, then I think it's an indication that there's more issues than just sexual ones in the marriage, imho.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## kittycat03 (Jul 15, 2011)

This seems like a similar situation I am working with. I have the higher drive hubby has the lower. This has become a huge source friction with in our relationship. While our marriage is far from perfect, with in the last few years, it seems as if we have worked together and become a better couple except for the frequency/lack of desire aspect. I hate the something so wonderful has become such a stress on our relationship.
Teresa


----------



## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Sometimes you just have to get some toys to spice things up a little bit.


----------

