# Count me in



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Well you can count me into the percentage of EAs that were actually PAs. Found out today that they had sex at least once. Straight from the MOW's mouth. Of course I am still getting the I did not have sex with her. Back to square one I go.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Poligraph.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

I am not spending the money for a polygraph. 180 and acceptance that he did it. No more giving, I am now the taker. F him.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> Well you can count me into the percentage of EAs that were actually PAs. Found out today that they had sex at least once. Straight from the MOW's mouth. Of course I am still getting the I did not have sex with her. Back to square one I go.


Just to play Devil's Advocate

Can you be sure she isn't telling a lie for her own reasons?


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## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

Sorry Underwater, trickle truth sucks. Remember only in your head was an EA (maybe) just a little better then a PA to live with, but in the end they are both the same and hurt like hell.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Malaise said:


> Just to play Devil's Advocate
> 
> Can you be sure she isn't telling a lie for her own reasons?


I was first informed by her BH. Then asked her. My first thought is that they want to blow his world up. I mean what better way to get even with him then setting him up for failure in R. But there were emails asking how his knees felt. I had always figured oral, not intercourse. But the good news it is all the same relationship. I am just at a point of wanting to hear it out of his mouth.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

Why not tell him to gtfo, and not come back until he is ready to tell the whole truth. Tell him to have a written timeline prepared to give you.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

We are 5 months beyond Dday. I have a timeline and can probably pin point the exact day. I am going to give him 48 hrs to come clean. Right now he is in terrible pain, as he had a tooth pulled today. I will give him 24 hrs to deal with it.


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## countrybumpkin (Nov 8, 2012)

I'm sorry to hear this. It makes me scared for my own relationship as I am dealing with trying to sort out EAs from my husband. I really, truly hope that he is able to come clean with you and maybe you can move past it all.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Lies.

All BS deal with this. Some BS are lucky to get truth straight out. Because those WS have some semblance of honesty.

It sucks to be in your place.

Sorry.

Are you sure about what OW told you? Is there more?


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Have you personally seen these emails???


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> We are 5 months beyond Dday. I have a timeline and can probably pin point the exact day. I am going to give him 48 hrs to come clean. Right now he is in terrible pain, as he had a tooth pulled today. I will give him 24 hrs to deal with it.


You could always withhold his pain meds until he comes clean!!:rofl:


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> You could always withhold his pain meds until he comes clean!!:rofl:


LDNTX man oh man your a tough cookie  but i agree I would give him like 10 minutes to come clean as this Bull SH!T


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## remorseful strayer (Nov 13, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> Well you can count me into the percentage of EAs that were actually PAs. Found out today that they had sex at least once. Straight from the MOW's mouth. Of course I am still getting the I did not have sex with her. Back to square one I go.



I am sorry to hear your spouse didn't come clean right away. i made the same mistake and i should have known better. 

I tried the emotional affair story, too. It worked until the affair partner talked to my wife. Using the emotional affair story is a desperate attempt, to prevent the truth from being told. 

But as someone else mentioned an emotional connection is just as serious as a physical one. Maybe worse because the straying partner is so into the affair partner that he will put up with her without even having sex.

A lot of men claim to cheat because they weren't getting sex at home or the sex got stale. So to put up with a women for no sex means the person is very infatuated if not in love. A physical affair makes more sense to a claim that the sex got stale.

The emotional affair 99 percent of the time goes physical. If it doesn't it was exposed too early that is all.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

So how the hell do I get him to admit to intercourse?


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> So how the hell do I get him to admit to intercourse?



get him drunk if he drinks and then the truth will come out. 

alcohol is the truth serum.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> I am not spending the money for a polygraph. 180 and acceptance that he did it. No more giving, I am now the taker. F him.


Love it.


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## remorseful strayer (Nov 13, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> So how the hell do I get him to admit to intercourse?


If he is smart, he will never admit to it. 

You need to get proof, like photographs or an email indicating they had sex. 

I still think, however, that the fact that he did have sex is a better situation. 

If it was truly a long time emotional affair, that is far more serious in my opinion, because no man will squire a woman around and spend time with her and energy on her without getting sex in exchange, unless he is in love with her. 

So, in an odd twist, him having sex with her can be seen as a positive. Weird I know, but true, likely.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

He is aware that she admitted to sex to both me and her BH. Why not just fess up? I guess it doesn't matter. I just sucks not knowing if this is their way of getting back at my WH. Hell, I blew up her world by telling her BH and her BH can get back at my WH for messing with his wife.

Another kink is that the her BH is asking if we can meet up for beers sometime. I am never going to do it. But it seems like he is trying to set up a meeting to try and get back at my WH.

Any thoughts?


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