# I lied to my girlfriend.



## Abel lied (Dec 31, 2014)

I have been a horrible person to my significant other. 2 weeks ago my girlfriend found out that I have been talking to and hanging out with other women in order to receive pictures from them. I am lucky that she has not broken up with me and I am truly grateful for that, but since that day she has found more dirt on me that makes it even harder for her to move past it. Since confronting me about my stupid mistakes she has found my dirty online picture collection, and today, a conversation between me and a friend about hiring strippers, a year ago, while me and my girlfriend were dating. The reason she is mad at me, if all of this wasn't bad enough, she found out I was on a dating site trying to talk to other women. I don't know why I did it. I say that because she has asked me many times. I have asked myself the same question and I know people here will ask the same question. I have thought about my bad decisions everyday since I have been confronted. I know I should not have done it in the first place but I truly lament all of my mistakes. She has told me that it will take time to get over what I did but today's discoveries have sent her beyond being able to forgive me. Every time I know she is sick of thinking about what I did I feel sick. I feel nauseous and cold. I want to win her back because I've realized that I don't want to live without her. Again, I don't know why I did what I did because I love her and I always have. I have apologized a thousand times and every time its sincere. Can some one help me through this. There are days that we laugh and I enjoy every moment of it. And then there are days like today where she finds or remembers my conversations with other women and she is disgusted. Then I become disgusted with myself as well. I need advice. I promise that I will never look at another woman. I have never met some one so special in my life.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Abel lied said:


> I have been a horrible person to my significant other. 2 weeks ago my girlfriend found out that I have been talking to and hanging out with other women in order to receive pictures from them. I am lucky that she has not broken up with me and I am truly grateful for that, but since that day she has found more dirt on me that makes it even harder for her to move past it. Since confronting me about my stupid mistakes she has found my dirty online picture collection, and today, a conversation between me and a friend about hiring strippers, a year ago, while me and my girlfriend were dating. The reason she is mad at me, if all of this wasn't bad enough, she found out I was on a dating site trying to talk to other women. I don't know why I did it. I say that because she has asked me many times. I have asked myself the same question and I know people here will ask the same question. I have thought about my bad decisions everyday since I have been confronted. I know I should not have done it in the first place but I truly lament all of my mistakes. She has told me that it will take time to get over what I did but today's discoveries have sent her beyond being able to forgive me. Every time I know she is sick of thinking about what I did I feel sick. I feel nauseous and cold. I want to win her back because I've realized that I don't want to live without her. Again, I don't know why I did what I did because I love her and I always have. I have apologized a thousand times and every time its sincere. Can some one help me through this. There are days that we laugh and I enjoy every moment of it. And then there are days like today where she finds or remembers my conversations with other women and she is disgusted. Then I become disgusted with myself as well. I need advice. I promise that I will never look at another woman. I have never met some one so special in my life.


Just let her go.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Save the bullsh!t. You know very well why you did it, you did it because you're not interested in monogamy at this time. That's fine, but at least be honest about it and let your gf go. You can at least be unselfish there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

There's a good reason not everyone gets married. This is it. 

Divorce is expensive. Leaving now is not. 

Save your girlfriend and your future children a lot of heartache, move on and learn.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You don't know why? Then get a counsellor who can help you work out why.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are you and your girlfriend?
How long have you been together?

What you did were not "mistakes". They were well thought out decisions. The first thing you can to is to stop using the word "mistake". You chose to do these things because that's what you want to do. 

You need to go to individual counseling and figure out why doing these things are more important to you than your girlfriend.

If you want to stop doing this, then you need to end all of your friendships and any males and/or females who were part of this. Any male friend who encourages you to do these things and encourages you to cheat and sneak around behind your girlfriend is an enemy to your girlfriend and your relationship with her.

Stop saying you are sorry. It means nothing. What has meaning are actions.

Get a keylogger and install it on your computer. Let her control it and she can set it to send her the logs via email. Or some send them to a website. Giver her to passwords to every online and email account you have. 

You need to tell her everything now. You have been trickle trothing.. only acknowledging what she finds out. Sit down and write out a time line with everything you have done, dates, names(to include your 'friends' who think this is cool to do), and what you have done. Make sure you keep a copy. Then give it to your gf.

End your relationship with anyone who was involved in this nonsense with you.

Do not ever do any of that again. 

If you can do those things and never, ever repeat the behavior, in about 2-5 years your girlfriend might start to believe that you are someone she can trust.


She would be better off dumping you as she will suffer far less pain in the long run.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
How can you promise never to do a thing again when you do not know why you did it in the first place? Actions done without rationale and reason are irrational and unreasonable. Your GF is right to be worried, as should you be if you do things without knowing why.


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## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

Dude, you should just let her go so she can find someone who really appreciates her and loves her. And that's not to attack you at all, you just don't love her enough to only be with her and she DESERVES that.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Funny how some people realize they "can't live without" the one their with until the one they're on the verge of losing the one they're with whom they've treated so badly.

You should let her go. You're showing a habitual tendency to stray, without regard to what it could do to your girlfriend. That is not love. That is dependency on your part. Let her find someone who gives a crap about her and who she can believe in. You're not that guy. And that's fine...for you, if that's what you want, but it is unfair to her.

It takes personal awareness, putting another's feelings before your own cravings and / or insecurities, and maturity to be a solid mate and life partner to someone else. You're not there yet. Be single, get it out of your system, and try again later.



> I have thought about my bad decisions everyday since I have been confronted.


That about says it all. You didn't think about it BEFORE you got caught...only after and when faced with the possibility she'd walk. Too late to develop a conscious at that stage buddy.

Time to "man up" and do the right thing. Do both yourself and her a favor, and break it off in the sweetest, most humble way possible. She's gonna be hurt, but you created the situation and owe it to her to make it as soft of a landing on her as possible and not phuck her up in the head beyond what you already have. If you really "love her" as you say, that should be an easy thing to do...no matter how hard it may be for you, your ego, or the hit to your pride. 

Dating is a test drive. If she was looking to "buy", you failed the test drive. Reliability wise, you're a Ford Pinto when she was looking for a Lexus.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

So, she finds out you are hanging around with other women, and requesting dirty pictures from them.

This breaks her heart.

She then finds a whole collection of dirty pictures.

This breaks her heart.

She then finds out you were looking to hire strippers.

This breaks her heart.

She then finds out you are on adult dating websites.

This breaks her heart.

But at least you sincerely apologized each time, so she should be able to forgive you.

You were advised to seek counseling. Good advice. But in reality it is your girlfriend who needs counseling. She needs to figure out why she has so little self respect for herself that she remains with you despite all the emotional abuse you have heaped on her. Best thing you could do for her is just break up with her. If you truly respected her you would man up, stop sulking on the Internet and leave her to find a man who will treat her with respect. 

Good luck man!


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

This is in now way a mistake. You intentionally did this.

Grow up. Stop the childish adolescent attitude. Life gets serious at some point. Look for it before you become an old prev everyone avoids.


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