# do you think moving to a small town as a single is dumb ?



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Hey people.
Something l read here got me thinking about my new move when the house sells.
Just for the record we separated 1o mths and because of my d, 12, l don't want to go too far.
Got a great town in mind , we lived there before . lt will only be 15mins away from her yet it's a totally separate world to x's spot .
The only thing that's got me a little concerned is the size of it and so maybe l damage my chances of hooking up with someone new later, it's tiny. Although there is 5 other small towns within a 15 min radius and then the much larger main town 30mins away.
And one of the smaller towns 10mins down the road does get 3mill tourists a yr, so it's tiny to but hey , heaps of visitors.
Most of them come through to my town to plus most of the other towns holiday in my town also.

So would you be worried ? Or , would you feel that if we do what's right for us then fate takes care of the rest ?
You know for me the moves about somewhere l'll feel content and really like to be - and staying close to my d . But then l guess too one day , l will wanna hook up again too !


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Hey brother,

Hope all is well with you. You seem to be slogging your way through it. Way to be strong. 

Maybe you should live where you want to live but do it on a short term basis by renting for 6 months or a year before buying?

You should be able to meet plenty of people if you are only 15 min from your previous locale. Stay engaged with your activities from your 180 and you'll probably keep meeting ladies? You can be smart for your D## without sacrificing your whole life I hope.

Good luck friend,
Stretch


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

I think Stretch makes a great point. Small towns can be great, and it sounds like you're still close enough to other places that there will still be lots of other people to meet.

So get a short-term rental and see how it goes. If you like it, you can stay there, or move to another small town.

What does your daughter think? She might actually like one place over another -- or she might actually like moving around a little.


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

No to small towns. Sorry I have lived in tiny towns before where it was like an hour to the city. The problems with small towns are.

1. Competition for women every man is looking to score so many if the women have been around. Something just not cool about having sex with a friends X. You are also going to have a reduced number that will really work for you so those that do you are going to have to fight for.

2. Everyone knows your business many are cool about it but everyone talks about everyone.

3. Cickish in the extreme you gotta find your niche and hang there. Not a lot if people to be interested in strange hobbies like indoor rock climbing, yoga hell a swimming pool.

4. Limited night life and adventures if you are like me and like to do stuff well get real used to driving and moving work hours. You will get a very limited number of handouts and those will be bars. 

Now there are good things about a small town and people do love it. I know people who are crazy for there town but yeah unless I got a women already nope not for me.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

CEL said:


> No to small towns. Sorry I have lived in tiny towns before where it was like an hour to the city. The problems with small towns are.
> 
> 1. Competition for women every man is looking to score so many if the women have been around. Something just not cool about having sex with a friends X. You are also going to have a reduced number that will really work for you so those that do you are going to have to fight for.
> 
> ...


I agree with this....

I grew up in a small town and frequently visit my friends who haven't escaped it....

Boredom, inconvenience (unless you are extremely extremely self sufficient) since most stores will be closed by 8-9pm, no night life, limited dating pool....

Great for families, but I think a struggle for singles looking to meet someone.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

FeministInPink said:


> I think Stretch makes a great point. Small towns can be great, and it sounds like you're still close enough to other places that there will still be lots of other people to meet.
> 
> So get a short-term rental and see how it goes. If you like it, you can stay there, or move to another small town.
> 
> What does your daughter think? She might actually like one place over another -- or she might actually like moving around a little.



Thanks Pink. D loves the idea. This is something we tossed up together over 3 or 4 mths. Of course she was only 11 then and had been through enough with the sep so we'd just flicker in and out of the subject whenever any areas and stuff came up. But over 3 or 4 mths all the different spots and towns , pros and cons and favorites came and went just really nice and casually with us until one night we just both landed on this one and loved the idea.
l was so proud of her and us, the way we just casually worked through it all. 

We rented over there a few yrs before we bought this place and d and l loved it then too , had a lot of fun over there. All her friends loved coming over to because it's on the coast so they're all nice and familiar with it . 
Seems like the perfect compromise from a [email protected] situation really , tiny though !


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Stretch said:


> Hey brother,
> 
> Hope all is well with you. You seem to be slogging your way through it. Way to be strong.
> 
> ...



Thanks Stretch. Yeah , slogging away about sums it up . Hope things your end have been traveling ok !


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah , small town downsides are the only concern.
l grew up in a 4mill city, didn't like that one though.
Thing is , our main town is 40mins and a world away from my d. lt's near impossible to get up there anywhere near as often as as l need to so trying to have a life with my d , it'd go from the anytime we want, hell even if l'm broke and the tanks empty l can still see her anytime easily. But that would become quite a slog for us both, expensive . We'd be doing that Frid nights , Sun nights, wk nights .

This one is nice and close, casual, easy, cheap, anytime, to d for the rest of her childhood, that's huge.
Gorgeous place to live before when we were renting over there too,come home to, great in summer , lots of talent coming and going. D and her friends all love it , if she lives with me she won't have to change school. 

Cons , tiny :scratchhead: Only a few shops and yep all closed by 8. Pretty good pub though :smthumbup:
Not many singles through winter.
You would worry a little about the lack of choices , women. Be nice to have more shops, people .

Can't fkg win in this situation can you !.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Is it a fvck yes???


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

My STBXH still lives OUTSIDE a town of 750 people. According to what our daughter volunteers (I never inquire because I frankly don't care), is that EVERY woman he meets/dates is someone he "met at the bar". 

Luckily, she's old enough not to have to deal with his women/dates if she doesn't want to and she's old enough to realize how whack it is to only meet/date people from a bar!

Small town life...SO not for me!


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah look , this is a gorgeous place to live but l can't say l ever thought l'd be in a tiny place either.
The trouble is our mains 35mins or so from my d. that'll totally change our yrs together.
l know l'm 30mins from that town now and sometimes it's wks before l can get up there.
so l just dunno how the reverse can work for us , not realistically.
here l'm 10mins from her and there are 100s of times where l just go grab her or drop in or mum brings her out.
Plus all the other advantages l mentioned.

l just dunno what else l can do without giving that up .


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Live where you want. If you share custody, live where the schools and activities are fun for your growing kid.
Big city 40 miles "and a world away" really? That's less than an hour from your kid...not worlds away. 
Are jobs/your career better in the larger of the "city" or Town choices?

Working in the city and living in a small town - has benefits as well. 1st Cheaper.
2nd smaller town and everyone knows your business - good for keeping track of kids and having a smaller community feel as in "it takes a village"
BUT YET
you can still date as - again 40mins away is less than an hour.
Who says you have to hook-up at your place when your kid is there?
Rent for awhile wherever - until you know what you like and where you really want to be. Also benefits of living in an apartment community are the gym and the pool which your kid may enjoy - but also other chances of meeting single people.

If the D Mom lives in a small town - then perhaps you might enjoy the bigger town and so would your kid. Like a completely different experience in living and that could be interesting and fun.


There are nice and crappy people everywhere...big or small town.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

It is all in perspective.

A lot of people commute for several hours to work. 

A 30-40 minute drive is nothing.
If you want to run over and pick up your daughter to do whatever, whenever...only you are stopping you.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah l hear you Unique. Sounds easy enough on paper l know but the problem is as l say l'm lucky to get up there every 2 or 3wks now . And even that's a pain , done a lot of driving in my time - too much.
So l can put money on the reverse taxing me and d a heap of our time that's the thing, l don't want that.
Even Saturdays there's often something going on up there we wanna go to but she's just finished school , me work , just can't be fkd.

But l like a lot of your points like , why couldn't l go out up there , hang out up there more , no reason really once l get my [email protected] sorted. lt's a much easier drive from the town l'm thinking about.

When l say worlds apart , as in the people, the lifestyle , mt d's life and world. Bloody tough call l know that much.

Yeah think l will rent maybe before jumping in , that'd be one way to work through this wouldn't it. Try to spend some time up there first.


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## Pinkturtle (Apr 5, 2013)

:bunny::bunny:I live in a small town more out of necessity. My dad owns a vacation chalet and since my mom died; he has no interest living here. So he is in Florida 

Advantages:

1. Everyone knows you so you get great service
2. Peace and quiet. Time to heal. 
3. We do have a rec center with an indoor heated pool. 
4. No sirens to wake you in the middle of the night
5. Lower cost of living
6. We do have a Redbox, cable TV, a grocery store (not great), and a pharmacy that takes my insurance. 
7. A high end clothing store
8. Beautiful scenery along with hiking trails
9. Yoga, Tai Chi & Zumba. Classes
Disadvantages:
1. No publix, Kroger, or Walmart 
2. No shopping malls
3.lower population = less availability of datable men or women
4. Less nightclubs
5. Less restaurants 
6. Less housing choices
7. Less Cultural events


You can add to these lists Whitehawk. I always find making a list of pros/cons is a good way to help make hard decisions. I hope it helps. 
Pink turtle :bunny:


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

And in small towns it can be a bit weird where the eligible males and females have all hooked up with each other at some point.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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