# Crazy and Separated!! HELP!!



## SarahFields (Jul 26, 2010)

Ok, I can’t believe that I am about to put this all out there but I think it needs to be. I am Bipolar and also have Borderline Personality Disorder. My husband has put up with a lot throughout the six years that we have been together. For the longest I did not seek out medical attention for my disorders which caused a lot of strain on our relationship. I have been both physically and mentally abusive to him. I have kicked; punched, slapped, scratched, and thrown my ring at him, bleached his clothes etc .I criticized his family constantly and held on to him so tightly that I gradually pushed his friends away. I also have told him that the only reason I even was with him was because I needed a father figure for my son who was from a previous relationship, that he was worthless, a nobody, and obviously that was all lies. Keep in mind that this started out randomly but eventually became weekly to sometimes even daily. I was very sick and did not fully understand my condition. We had made the decision to bring my friend into the bedroom with us shortly after our wedding. She had been staying with us for about a year and a half and my husband and I always wanted to try a threesome. Things escalated after that and right around Christmas time my friend and I got into it and she called the cops and pressed charges landing me in jail. After I was released I checked myself back into the mental institution for the second time. When I got out I was still very angry. My husband refused to talk to me about the situation because I was still placing blame on everyone else but myself. My friend was moved out into a shelter. My husband still communicated with her and brought her over to our place on weekends while I was at work. She was kicked out of the shelter and we brought her and her son back into our home. We had yet another threesome soon after that. A couple weeks after that she announced that she was pregnant. My husband and she were having unprotected sex while she was in the shelter. He told me that he was in love with both of us which later down the line he told me that he had only told me that to try to get rid of me. He refused to talk about the situation with me. I was vengeful and he gave me permission to cheat on him as retaliation. At first I told myself I don’t want to, but then eventually I did. The guy that I cheated on him with ended up having herpes. Thank God that I did not get that. The guy however, did make me feel special. He made me feel so good in fact that I ordered divorced papers and even told my husband that he can sleep with my friend as much as he wants as long as I can continue seeing this guy. The guy eventually showed his true colors and it ended up being just about sex. I then went through the whole you never know how good you had it until it’s gone. I realized that I truly loved my husband. That I wanted more than anything to keep my family together. He however says he’s done. I am now on my medication and seeing a counselor. I want us to also go to marriage counseling but he refuses to go. He wants us to be separated so that he can clear his mind, but I’ve been told that the only reason why he is agreeing to a separation and not an actual divorce is because he is scared of what I will do to his stuff and then at other times just to shut me up. I had ended up in the mental institution again after he took me off of his bank account and when I walked in on him having sex with my friend again. That was my wake up call and I have been doing nothing but trying to get better since. My son is out of state with my parents for the summer and my daughter is still here with us as well as my friend and her son. My husband sleeps in my son’s room rather than next to me and we haven’t had sex in two months. I have apologized and poured by heart out to him but he refuses all attempts to work on our relationship. My heart and gut tell me to stay here and that he will come around when he isn’t so angry anymore, but everyone else tells me to just move on and that its not worth this stress. I’m at a crossroads. HELP!!!


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

Change your life, Threesomes, affairs, these all seem the norm to you. 

Since when are they the norm….

Get your self-respect back, you should not be a willing or unwilling explore anything sex tool.

Start by moving out with your children to a safe secure location, get a decent job, and say NO when propositioned. Do this purposefully; this is a journey to get your life together.

Build a set of values that you can live by, only have sex with one man, only if he is committed to you and is monogamous, it makes life a lot more fulfilling than what you are going through. More importantly *it protects your children* and gives them something to aspire to.

But since you want to hang onto a man that leads you down the path you seem to have enjoyed I guess you can ignore all the advice given and be very unhappy with your life…

Everyone can make a change to their circumstances it is time you do so to.


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