# Wife wanted a divorce



## Dillin (Aug 29, 2020)

My wife left me and told me she wanted a divorce 5/6 months ago. I still have not seen papers or anything like that. A week or so ago I went over to her and mine old house to eat dinner with our kids and her. When I was there she brought up the divorce. I did not cry or beg or plead just said okay let's discuss it. So we did. She said we will sit down Sunday when she picks the boys up to go over our uncontested divorce. Sunday rolls around she shows up and says nothing about the divorce. Just gives me a hug and tells me she loves me and leaves with our boys. I do not want the divorce I told her that when she brought it up after dinner I also said if that is what you want then okay but I said my peace to. I just am lost. I just want my family back together any opinions or advice would be appreciated.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Let her go. She is playing you. She has the best, you out of the house Most likely Paying All the bills, and she is probably Banging another guy,too. Why don’t you serve her first? Blow her mind.


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

How long have you been married?
Why does your wife want a divorce?

Your wife left you, but then you say that it was you that went back to "her and mine old house"?
That sounds like you left.
Was it not your joint property?

Does your wife want you to fight for her and the marriage?
Have you been absent in the marriage?
Or is there a chance that someone else has her attention now?

Have there been major problems/conflicts between you?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Why are you out of the house? Stop living on hopium and find out who her boyfriends is.

Go online and check your phone bill.

Do not do the pick me dance either.

it might help if you downloaded and read “No More Mr Nice Guy” by glover it’s a free pdf. It’s helped many.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

i think you need to push the divorce and tell her you want then let's get it done, when she sees that you are pushing the divorce she may rethink her move...but if she is not coming home than there is no marriage.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

If you agree, then YOU fill out the papers and bring them to HER. Stop letting HER control the narrative here -- she is playing you and wants to prolong YOU paying for her lifestyle and YOU not being there. I agree, something smells fishy and she probably already has someone else on the hook.


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## Dillin (Aug 29, 2020)

EveningThoughts said:


> How long have you been married?
> Why does your wife want a divorce?
> 
> Your wife left you, but then you say that it was you that went back to "her and mine old house"?
> ...


Only married a year together for ten.

She said we are toxic apparently.

She left and said she would not come back to the house if I was there. So for the sake of normalcy for my kids I left yes.
We rented.

Idk what she wants.
I am not sure what you mean by absent. And I do not know if she has someone else.

We argued a lot. There was a few things that happened through out the years that really set us back regarding childcare involving her family making promises to us that stop one of us from going to work and it was never an issue to her but she would complain and blame me for both of us not working. Basically what happened was we made a deal with one of her cousins to watch our boys so we both could work and both times the day before I would start a job her cousin would flake out on us and leave me and her high and dry and she never seen an issue with it.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You should believe her and act accordingly unless you want to wallow in this a long time.


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## Camper292000 (Nov 7, 2015)

There's a lot left unsaid here.

What is going on with her emotionally? What has she been saying for years and complaining about?

If y'all both were not working and spending too much time together... Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

What do you want? Step up and lead. But it sounds like she's made up her mind so you should listen. And why are you not at home?? Don't leave the house. 

Take a look at dadstartingover website...maybe you'll get some insight from those articles.

Again....what has she been saying? What complaints would she unload on her girlfriend?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Dillin said:


> My wife left me and told me she wanted a divorce 5/6 months ago. I still have not seen papers or anything like that. A week or so ago I went over to her and mine old house to eat dinner with our kids and her. When I was there she brought up the divorce. I did not cry or beg or plead just said okay let's discuss it. So we did. She said we will sit down Sunday when she picks the boys up to go over our uncontested divorce. Sunday rolls around she shows up and says nothing about the divorce. Just gives me a hug and tells me she loves me and leaves with our boys. I do not want the divorce I told her that when she brought it up after dinner I also said if that is what you want then okay but I said my peace to. I just am lost. I just want my family back together any opinions or advice would be appreciated.


Why do you want to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with you? She is not the only women in the world.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Dillin said:


> I do not want the divorce I told her that


Stop telling her that. It makes you look weak and it's very offputting. Also she knows you don't want the divorce but even more importantly and this is the point to take home- she doesn't CARE what you want, it's about what SHE wants.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Marc878 said:


> You should believe her and act accordingly unless you want to wallow in this a long time.


oh! he believes her alright, but he's too afraid, and doesn't has the ball to do anything on his own, other that letting gravity falls where it might. Most likely he'll be wallowing on this for a whole lot longer, until she finally says: enough, I have my ducks in a row (most likely another guy). It is time to get get rid of this dead weight around my neck.


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## Dillin (Aug 29, 2020)

Rob_1 said:


> oh! he believes her alright, but he's too afraid, and doesn't has the ball to do anything on his own, other that letting gravity falls where it might. Most likely he'll be wallowing on this for a whole lot longer, until she finally says: enough, I have my ducks in a row (most likely another guy). It is time to get get rid of this dead weight around my neck.


No reason to be an asshole. It is comments like your that push men to suicide.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Dillin said:


> No reason to be an asshole. It is comments like your that push men to suicide.


You can cry and be a wimp all you want, nonetheless, my above statement is pretty much on the money. I'm sure of it. The OP has demonstrated it. I want to see if somehow he reacts.
You on the other hand sound like a puss.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I didn't realized you were the OP. I though it was someone else. 
My original comment was to make you react and wake up. But, my overall assessment still stand. You need to man up and take the bull by the horns, instead, of passively, letting your wife decide your fate.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Dillon, in these situations talk won’t get you much. If there’s a possibility it will come from actions.

If you chase they will move farther away. Most take This stance upfront and It just makes it worse.

This is an old thread. The poster got horrible advice and tried nicing her back, he did the pick me dance, etc. 








Can an Intervention end an affair?


My wife is following the script: "I love you, but I am not in love with you". You are my best friend. I need space. I haven't been happy for a long time. It has been all about the kids. I am happy with him. I thought I was blindsided, but I was just blind. The pink elephant was in the room...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com





good luck


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Dillin said:


> No reason to be an asshole. It is comments like your that push men to suicide.


It’s intended to push you towards action. 
Everyone here wants to help you, but you need to be willing to stand up and take control of your situation. Stop being passive and weak and letting your wife string you along like a sad little puppy. Women respect strength and leadership, they despise weakness.

Please take control of this situation. She’s clearly not attracted to you, doesn’t respect you and is playing you. High probability she is sleeping with another man. You have to be willing to lose your marriage if you want any hope of saving it, or at least leaving it with some dignity.

File for D and have her served, then work on yourself. Get to the gym, practice your flirting skills, focus in at work, get better. She may come around, or she may not. But after 6 months, you’ll be in a much better position either way.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Have you checked your phone bill? Women usually don’t push for divorce like this unless they have a boyfriend waiting in the wings.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

The problem is...... your a chump.

You should wait by the phone in case she calls and tells you what your allowed to do next.


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