# Worth staying for this?



## blossom74 (Jun 21, 2010)

I've been reading this forum for a few weeks before gathering the courage to actually post.
First of all, I need to say my husband is a wonderful man, a great provider, considerate and any woman who meets him tells me how lucky I am.... and I am....but. 
In the last three years we have made love for a total of 5 times. For the first two years I threw myself into my work and hoped it would get better. By year three we have become so physically distant I can't even remember the last time we kissed properly. 6 months ago I finally broke and sat him down to discuss, feeling like a real jerk that it had to be me that brought it up. Over the last year I have found him less attractive and haven't even wanted to sleep with him.
I do take responsibility for my part in this problem, I should have said something much earlier,but I thought it was just a "phase" couples go through and we'd pull through.
I am about to move out, we are separating. I want to work things out but I also need to stop hating myself for no longer finding my husband attractive. He is my best friend and my favourite person in the world, I just didn't buy into a celibate marriage. I have no idea what to do


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

blossom74 said:


> I've been reading this forum for a few weeks before gathering the courage to actually post.
> First of all, I need to say my husband is a wonderful man, a great provider, considerate and any woman who meets him tells me how lucky I am.... and I am....but.
> In the last three years we have made love for a total of 5 times. For the first two years I threw myself into my work and hoped it would get better. By year three we have become so physically distant I can't even remember the last time we kissed properly. 6 months ago I finally broke and sat him down to discuss, feeling like a real jerk that it had to be me that brought it up. Over the last year I have found him less attractive and haven't even wanted to sleep with him.
> I do take responsibility for my part in this problem, I should have said something much earlier,but I thought it was just a "phase" couples go through and we'd pull through.
> I am about to move out, we are separating. I want to work things out but I also need to stop hating myself for no longer finding my husband attractive. He is my best friend and my favourite person in the world, I just didn't buy into a celibate marriage. I have no idea what to do



are you not making love because you dont want to or he doesnt want to?

you admit he has good qualities but your not attracted to him physically, could he feel the same way about you?


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## blossom74 (Jun 21, 2010)

okeydokie, for the most part he hasn't wanted to, he works crazy hours, over 100 hours a week. And as I said, I threw myself into work thinking it was a phase. Over the last 6 months I haven't been interested sexually in him. He constantly tells me I look great


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

100 hours a week would kill me, is it necessary for him to work that much or is he just a workaholic? thats an average of over 14 hours a day 7 days a week, who would have time or desire after that?


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## blossom74 (Jun 21, 2010)

Necessary? Probably not, high powered career and he loves what he does. I knew when I met him that he worked long hours, they've just gotton longer.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

blossom74 said:


> Necessary? Probably not, high powered career and he loves what he does. I knew when I met him that he worked long hours, they've just gotton longer.



why would he want to be away from home that much?


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