# in a rut...



## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

any suggestions? sex is minimal.. twice a month.. not enough for me.. every day is the same. work. come home. i read. he watches tv or spends time on his laptop. we're together every second we're not at work.. but it's freakin boring! finances were recently separated.. long term goals are uncertain and never talked about. 

i dont wanna pay for fun stuff anymore because i make less money than him. he doesnt wanna pay for stuff or do anything because he's cheap and lazy/tired after work (which is also his excuse for the new sex schedule). i'm working more, so i'm too tired to dress up and do all that junk anymore. but the spark is slowly fading. i asked him last night.. "with no sex, and not sharing money anymore, do you really see a benefit for us being together?" he said, "well i thought our jokes and time together was part of our relationship, but now i know all you care about is sex and money. good night."

i told him that friends make jokes and hang out.. are we becoming just friends? he didnt say anything. 

i know there are lots of creative minds on this forum.. help!!


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Do you compliment him? Such as.... "Hey sexy..." Or... "Hello handsome... " Do you know what each others love language is? If not.. you could take the five languages of love quiz. Have you told him that you love him and don't want to be just friends? Ever randomly initiate sex?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Just curious how long you've been married and why did you decide to separate finances?


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

we've been married 3 years.... we separated finances for several reasons.. but he suggested i do it because of security reasons. i had money from a totaled car and i put it in my account and that's where my paychecks go. i'd have to ask "permission" to spend money.. when i contribute a decent portion... and we got really close to breaking up. i've heard we're in the stage of the "terrible twos".. which i didnt know existed. 

for love languages... i dunno the specific categories, but i feel loved from touch and helping with chores.. and taken on dates. i assumed his was touch as well.. but these days not so much. i dunno.. he's a spoiled man. he doesnt do anything when he gets home from work. i take care of EVERYTHING. which was the agreement we were both fine with till i started working more. now i get home and i'm tired from working, and i dont feel like waiting on him anymore. i guess this paragraph turned into something else.. sorry.

anyway.. i was flirty with him for a LONG time. but he's had a job change that prevents him from texting back. he's a driver now, so i dont really wanna text him for safety reasons. 

i thought me pointing out that i was starting to feel more of a friendship vibe implied that i was unhappy with this sort of new dynamic i've been feeling. 

our sexual routine starts with a kiss here and a kiss there (on him.. it tickles me too much to be kissed all over) .. then kissing and licking EVERYWHERE until i get to his bat n balls.. he'll let me do that until he feels like paying me some attention. lately when i initiate in this way he'll let me kiss him all over and then let me know "it was for free"... which means i aint gettin' any tonight. 

i asked him if something was wrong.. if there was something i could do.. and he said it wasnt me.. he works a lot.. but he's been on this schedule since october. and he's a driver hopping in and out of the car all day. and we're in the south, so it gets pretty hot. he said he was sorry... and not everyday can be the same. he just doesnt feel like having sex lately. i asked if he was "gettin it from somewhere else" in a nice, cute way. and he laughed and said "of course not, babe. dont worry.. it'll get better". 

gaia... i sent him a message today : "miss you sexy papa"... his reply... "miss you too 'nandobella' kardashian".... apparently he thought this was a compliment. bleh.


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