# What does it means to be a father and a husband?



## Goodmom (Jan 17, 2011)

I'm struggling just to get my husband to take on the role and responsibilities that come with marriage and having a child. Before we were married he always was willing to help me and I felt like I could count on him for anything. Ever since our daughter was born, he has whined and wiggled his way out of having to do anything!

My husband works nights during the week and so he sleeps during the day. Usually he gets up around 2 or 3 pm and then he doesnt have to work until 11 pm. During the time that he is up he lays on the couch, most times falls back asleep, and I have to do everything around the house and take care of my daughter AND still get good grades because I will be graduating college with a BFA soon. 

Its really interesting because even on the weekends he is really down and it seems like I have to pull teeth just to get him to do anything. He even complains about getting up to get a bottle or getting a baby wipe for his own daughter. And then, when family comes over, or friends he perks up like a little puppy dog and is full of energy and spunk. 

Financially, emotionally, and physically he does not support me or my daughter. I feel like he just doesnt care and he is refusing to take responsibility for anything. I feel like he is bored of me already and just doesnt have interest in taking care of me or our daughter. 

My own parents are afraid of leaving my daughter with him alone because they have caught him on several occasions sleeping while my baby was running around getting into things, and then they would find out he hadnt fed or changed her all morning. I have just had it! I dont trust him with our own daughter! He has proven over and over again that his priorities are completely backwards and I have lost the will to keep fighting this battle!

I need help on what to say to him to make him realize what he is jeopardizing! Every time I try to confront him about this problem he stomps out the room like a little kid and refuses to talk about it. And hes 25! I feel like I'm trying so hard and he is not giving me anything in return. I work so hard with keeping a house, being a mom, and going to school....and he cannot manage going to work and watching his daughter for 4 hours once a week! Please tell me what I should do!


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## zohaib (Dec 24, 2010)

u r really a gud mom...

well speak with him reagarding this at the timing of night on the weekends when he will be available in the home at night timing.

try to tell him that you love him and want some support from him..so that you will remain safe from quarrels..
Tel him "you want to keep your Relationship alive"

hope it will help u.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This reminds me of a time years ago of how the missus always woke me up in the middle of the night to attend to my daughter instead of her doing it even though she didn't have to work and I was working 12 hrs 7 days a week at that time. I don't mind attending to my child, but I did get really pissed at the missus in the past for her laziness and dependency on me in this regard (needs her beauty sleep) - even if I had to work 84 hrs a week.

Thankfully, that's the only complaint that I had when it comes to her, and she's a great mum otherwise. However - I do think your husband been spoiled to be honest, but that's just me. Put the foot down in this.


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## bingofuel (Jan 27, 2011)

Yes, it sounds familiar. Check out The Place for Postpartum Dads And Facts About Men With Postpartum Depression or Other Problems With Mood After Becoming A New Father

He may be having problems with this. 
Sounds like counseling is in order...and fast! The longer he waits, the worse it will get.

Hmmm. I tried to post the link, but instead it posted the title...Just do a search.


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