# Job Rejections are DESTROYING ME INSIDE!



## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

I got yet another job rejection for a job I believe I was qualified for. !!!!!! And this is the second time this place REJECTED ME! This is like the third or fourth time a company REJECTED ME TWICE!! I am no longer going on these job interviews if they already rejected me a year or two before. THIS IS REALLY DESTROYING MY SELF ESTEEM!! It's going to be 5 years soon since I had a full time job. I AM SO DAMN DEPRESSED!!! CAN YOU BLAME ME??? I am trying to not let it bother me BUT IT'S DESTROYING ME INSIDE!!! HOW MUCH AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE??? And I don't even have any vices to escape through. I'M JUST DEPRESSED AS HELL!!!!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Me too. I used to be an engineer. You would think project management, cad, advanced excel skills... would have value. 

They do if you are under 40.

Yet i keep plugging away.


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## inquizitivemind (Jul 16, 2013)

First off I am sorry to hear about this. Don't think it will make you feel any better, but you are not alone. This is how I have dealt with rejection. You are not the only applying for a job and therefore sometimes other candidates have something the company was looking for that you just didn't have. OR in my case, the other person applying new the interviewer and he got the job over me.

In any case, this rejection is not a reflection of you and your value as an employee at all. This is a reflection of the economy and the times. Its competitive out there, but you just have to suck it up and keep on moving forward. If you don't mind me asking, what field do you work in?


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear that. My H has a full-time job but he hates it and has been looking for something else for over a year. I know how hard it is on him to get ignored/rejected for jobs that he seems really qualified for. It's very tough on the self-esteem. He's miserable. 

You aren't alone. All you can do is keep it up. Have you tried following up afterwards to find out what they didn't like so you can learn for the next time?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Consider looking for a career coach or life coach. You're going to have the stigma of an unstable job history to I revoke, and possibly they can help. And try not to take the rejection personally. You might be qualified, but they simply found someone that they thought was a better fit. It doesn't mean you're not an awesome dude!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

inquizitivemind said:


> First off I am sorry to hear about this. Don't think it will make you feel any better, but you are not alone. This is how I have dealt with rejection. You are not the only applying for a job and therefore sometimes other candidates have something the company was looking for that you just didn't have. OR in my case, the other person applying new the interviewer and he got the job over me.
> 
> In any case, this rejection is not a reflection of you and your value as an employee at all. This is a reflection of the economy and the times. Its competitive out there, but you just have to suck it up and keep on moving forward. If you don't mind me asking, what field do you work in?


*With all do respect you're wrong. IT'S AN ATTACK ON ME! IT'S ME THEY DON'T LIKE! I KNOW IT. IT'S ME, TRUST ME! I HAVE TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY.  I don't want to say what I do here cause I don't want my wife to come across this. I can always PM you. I AM SO FREAKING DOWN. IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE FOR ME. *


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Man - If you know it's something they are responding to, is it something you can change?


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

justonelife said:


> Man - If you know it's something they are responding to, is it something you can change?


*
I try, believe me. I guess I'm not trying hard enough! I am 53 so it doesn't make things easier. I guess I am not a likable guy. Even when I get jobs I can't keep them. And I don't drink or smoke, show up on time. I JUST HAVE BAD LUCK. IT'S KILLING ME. IT REALLY IS. *


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I'm in the HR field, I will tell you that you have to wow them, you have to go in like you are the best thing that happened to them. You have to be likable and confident. Practice with someone who is honest, time to change your interview style. Also check to see if you have been dressing appropriately. Don't give then the same answer everyone gives, show them your personality. I would also reach out to the ones who rejected you for feedback. Some one may tell you what you need to improve.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> I always thought taking a class or two as a refresher would help as well. I've had some ask if I did any volunteer work. Some charity work is nice on a resume. JMHO


Yes keep up in the field and any certifications or licenses. Also make sure you follow up with a thank you email or letter with your strengths and to damage control for anything you feel went less than perfect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

mablenc said:


> Yes keep up in the field and any certifications or licenses. Also make sure you follow up with a thank you email or letter reinstating your strengths and to damage control anything you feel went less than perfect.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I did all those things. Nothing works for me.


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

mablenc said:


> I'm in the HR field, I will tell you that you have to wow them, you have to go in like you are the best thing that happened to them. You have to be likable and confident. Practice with someone who is honest, time to change your interview style. Also check to see if you have been dressing appropriately. Don't give then the same answer everyone gives, show them your personality. I would also reach out to the ones who rejected you for feedback. Some one may tell you what you need to improve.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have been reaching out. Nothing substantial. I can't afford a coach. I just don't think I am a likable person.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

It's a personally contest really, can I PM you some info?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ManOhMan2013 said:


> I got yet another job rejection for a job I believe I was qualified for. !!!!!! And this is the second time this place REJECTED ME! This is like the third or fourth time a company REJECTED ME TWICE!! I am no longer going on these job interviews if they already rejected me a year or two before. THIS IS REALLY DESTROYING MY SELF ESTEEM!! It's going to be 5 years soon since I had a full time job. I AM SO DAMN DEPRESSED!!! CAN YOU BLAME ME??? I am trying to not let it bother me BUT IT'S DESTROYING ME INSIDE!!! HOW MUCH AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE??? And I don't even have any vices to escape through. I'M JUST DEPRESSED AS HELL!!!!


Get another job which you can work while you look for your new full time job. It's easier to find a job when you have one.


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Get another job which you can work while you look for your new full time job. It's easier to find a job when you have one.


It's not that easy. I have other jobs during this time. Freelance jobs. I even did a VERY BIG JOB that was worth thousands of dollars FOR FREE. The guy did NOT appreciate it.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Keep the faith man. 

Our CEO and President was let go last night. Keep in mind that our company is very profitable and growing. She was extremely well liked by everybody. It was a shock to all of our employees and our vendors. Her facebook account blew up with an outpouring of well wishes and thanks and disbelief. Not a single person today that I talked to saw it as a good thing for the company. Yet, there she was ... in tears ... wondering how her life just fell to pieces. She had a disagreement with the owner and that is all it took. It happens.

Do not take the rejection personally. It isn't. A lot of valuable people are struggling. It is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Don't engage in negative self-talk. Take every unsuccessful attempt as an opportunity to learn and as a motivation to try even harder. You'll get there.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)




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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)




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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Some fun perspective


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> I'm going to recommend you learn to have more pride in yourself. If you did a job that was worth thousands of dollars for free, you don't think you are worth much. Respect yourself and you will be able to garner respect from others. That's probably why you are not being hired at other places. You must show a lack of self-respect in the interview. If you have little confidence in what you are worth, they won't want to hire you because they don't want to teach you at the age you are now. You need to build your self-esteem.
> 
> Assuming you did a good job on the one you are talking about here.


*You just hit a note! I grew up hearing from my Mother that I had no confidence in myself. Then one day I said "MOM, I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF, YOU DID! MAYBE YOU SEE SOMETHING IN MY THAT YOU DON'T THINK I SHOULD HAVE CONFIDENCE IN!!!" She was silent. Then she said "if that's the case, I apologize." See, confidence... is it really important? Or is the knowledge of right from wrong more important? Because I know right from wrong. I don't know if you're right or wrong. I don't. Perhaps you are right. 
This man gives a good talk about that. * Dealing with Patronizing Personalities - YouTube
*As for respect for self, well, I don't think I have had that. I grew up with parents who didn't really respect each other. 
I finally learned about self respect later on in life. I try to live by it, but it's not easy.
I believe I did a great job even though he had it done over again months later. I would send you what I did privately and I think you would say I did a great job. But I don't want you to know who I am so...  No offense. I want to keep anonymous. 

But you're right Self Respect is key. And right now my Self Respect has been **** ON. 
*


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

*I had two job interviews last week. This week i got two rejections from both interviews. I love life!!!! LMAO! I'M SERIOUS!!! IT'S FUNNY HOW I CAN'T MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF!!! LMAO!!!!*


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## Princess Puffin'stuff (Mar 8, 2013)

You are coming off like a crazy person. Seriously....get over the freakin job rejections. And, what's with typing in all bold, large letters? That's just plain weird.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I started the full time work force in 1979. This economy is not like any other economy in my lifetime. after every major recession since 1977, there is a significant or huge surge in activity. there has been no surge in the last few years, only a very gradual, slow improvement from 10+ unemployment to 7+ unemployment (which still sucks by the way).
The unemployment figures do not tell the real story of millions of people technically employed, but underemployed as never before.

2008-2010 i lost about 35K. since then, i've remained about 75-80% employed. ('im in business for myself, i'm talking about gross receipts).

the frustrating thing is the media out there keeps trying to paint a rosy picture as if things are wonderful and they still suck. going into the 6th straight year of +7 unemployment and huge percentage of underemployed people.

this probably doesn't help much MANOHMAN, but keep these things in mind. probably any other post recession you would find a decent job, but now it's tougher than $&IT!!!

really try to not take things too personal, but be open to change whatever that may be.

good luck to you man


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

My mom is 63 years old and the only job she could find that would actually hire her was a care giving position! Most of it has to due with age... I am 35 and I am also having a hell of a time trying to find a job


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Some fun perspective


I really don't think this is very helpful to the OP. He has a REAL problem. Not some silly contrived problem.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

A friend of mine was bombing at interviews. She saw the below videos. She did what they suggested... had two interviews and got two extremely good offers. 

Knowing right from wrong is extremely important but it's not all that's important. IN an interview you have to give off the impression of confidence. 

So here are the links. I hope they help you.

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are | Video on TED.com 

Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work | Video on TED.com


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Also, get the book "Failing Forward".


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## iBolt (Aug 28, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I really don't think this is very helpful to the OP. He has a REAL problem. Not some silly contrived problem.


It's hilarious though


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

iBolt said:


> It's hilarious though


But inappropriate in response to a man who feels like his life is falling apart because he cannot find a job. There are many many people today with this problem. It's real.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> But inappropriate in response to a man who feels like his life is falling apart because he cannot find a job. There are many many people today with this problem. It's real.


Look, I'm sorry if you felt it was inappropriate. It was only for levity. Sometimes it helps to laugh. I also posted some sincere perspective that has helped me, so I am not making light of his situation ... it is a situation I have been in before.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Look, I'm sorry if you felt it was inappropriate. It was only for levity. Sometimes it helps to laugh. I also posted some sincere perspective that has helped me, so I am not making light of his situation ... it is a situation I have been in before.


The OP is extremely distraught. Would you post that for levity on a thread of someone whose had just found out that their spouse cheated?

I understand you were going for levity. But the OP appears to be dealing with a serious depression.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> The OP is extremely distraught. Would you post that for levity on a thread of someone whose had just found out that their spouse cheated?
> 
> I understand you were going for levity. But the OP appears to be dealing with a serious depression.


Yes and I have gone through the very exact thing albeit a slightly different scenario. The depression is debilitating. What is going on in your head is your own worst enemy. Something needs to jar you out of your head so that you can look at the problem differently (from the outside looking in) to add clarity to the situation. Clarity is not going to come from laser like focus on the negativity he has going on in his head right now. Taking a step back is oftentimes the only way you are going to see it for what it is and begin to take steps to solve the problem. I offered different perspectives, including humor. Sometimes that works and if not we'll try something else. I'd take the guy out for some drinks and a night on the town if I could, let him vent and then have fun to take his mind off things for just a little while.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

OK, is your career field one that has undergone particularly steep contraction in the last few years? When you had work in your field, did you enjoy it?

On your depression, I think for you both therapy and medical consultations are a must. Taking medication? Are you in IC?
Your severe depression is a more serious issue than your unemployment.


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