# No idea what to do! Please help!



## phoenix77 (Jan 16, 2012)

Hi all,
I'm new here and desperate for advice or even just someone who can relate. 
Brief intro- I'm 34, DH is 35- married 8 and a half years. I was very young (19) when we met and have not had that much experience with relationships/men other than with him. We have no kids but I desperately want a baby. We have been sort of trying for the last 6 months or so. He never seems super keen on having a baby but he says he wants one when I press him. 
For about 4 years, I have felt a lack of emotional connection. It's rare that we get into deep or meaningful conversations which I crave. When I try to talk to him he often seems very distracted and I feel as though he's not listening. When I confront him, he repeats every word I said- it's just the lack of eye contact and lack of response from him that makes me feel he is not listening. As well, I have severe anxiety and am on meds which have killed my sex drive. We do have sex about once a week or so but I rarely enjoy it. I don't act as though it's a chore though and sometimes I pretend I enjoy it. 
The lack of connection and thoughts of separation cause me such intense anxiety and makes me feel ill. I do love him so very much I feel like I am sacrificing my health for our relationship. 
We have discussed these issues a lot in the past. I even left for a week as I could no longer handle the anxiety I felt due to the doubts I had about our relationship. I couldn't sleep or work and felt like death all the time. When I left, I felt great, like I had done the right thing. When I came back, I felt like we could make it if we really worked on it. We have talked so many times about what we need to do but we both never seem to follow through. 
There is no abuse and he is a wonderful guy. I am just not satisfied and feel like if these doubts have been going on for so long, I really need to pay attention to them. He refuses to go to MC. 
Thanks for reading and would love to hear your thoughts or advice!


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

If you felt great when you left, did you miss him at all? How long were you gone?

If he won't do MC, are you going for IC?

On the surface, it sounds like it's over. But only you know the real answer to that.


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