# personal trainer and free training?



## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

Hello there,
I always post my questions on here as I am almost clueless when it comes to relationships . I grew up in women only environment and in some way I am still a girl and not a woman.


I posted on here before regarding my last very brief relationship with my friend who just wanted to have sex . He wasn't a friend as he knew I was going through a lot but cut contact with me without explanation . I want to vomit when I remember him and I almost thought I should reconsider my sexuality . I thought I should go to a lesbian event .

Anyhow, I started going to the gym instead and working on me and my low self esteem. I am in IC as well and all seems good . My personal trainer is same age as me . He is 25 and I am 26. When I first met him ,he told me that whenever I need help doing the exercises I can ask him anytime for free . I thought he was trying to be nice but never thought I would ask him. Today he said we can do cardio together for free next Saturday.

I am not sure be I think he is in a relationship .


My question .....is he just being nice or is there something more I should be careful about? If he has a gf for sure is this bad? On my part and his part?

I don't want to get involved with anyone at the moment as I have some mental health issues and relationships with guys seem to mess me up. Thank you.


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## tinybuddha58 (Mar 29, 2014)

In my gut, I always can tell if someone is interested in me. What does your gut say? And regardless, do you need to do cardio with someone? I would just kindly decline his offer and save yourself from worrying about it.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Looks like he thinks you're " easy" and wants to get into your pants.
It's a thing personal trainers do often, use training sessions to bond with their clients, appear sympathetic to their issues/problems , then have sex with them.

He senses that you have your issues , so he thinks you're an easy target.
Most likely he's also doing the same to a few other women in the gym. Chances are you would probably see him chatting up another girl in the gym, and getting all close with her.

You said you think he already has a girlfriend, if so then stay away from him.

Look at it this way, he thinks you have a hot body, so he wants sex. If you're not interested, just tell him thanks for the compliment , but no thanks to the sex, and move on.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

He doesn't seem interested . He is professional and casual with me . He chats with me during our training session as he does with everyone , I think. The only thing that made me wonder is him offering to do things for me for free. You are right maybe I should decline his offer politely. I just wanted to know if he was just being nice or does it suggest something more to people with experience .

My gut feeling tells me that I am slightly interested in him . I find him very attractive. I enjoy talking to him but I don't want this to be anything more than personal training sessions. I am emotionally messed up due to my last sexual encounter with my friend who sexually abused me.

In the past I seemed to be clueless about men's intentions or advances and get surprised when they make it clear that they are interested. This time around I am trying to be smart.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

Caribbean Man thank you very much . You always tell me what I need to know !


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I dunno. I had a personal trainer and because I worked out at the gym where he would get more clients, whenever he worked out with me I understood it was so that I would be a model client - the only advertising that counts for personal trainers is the fitness and performance of their clients. He might want to be seen with you in order to get more clients. 

I'd go to the free workout. You don't have to do anything you don't want to! If he's your personal trainer, why wouldn't you work out with him if he offered? 

Just keep it in the gym and hey, I think it's a good opportunity to work on your boundaries! If he does by chance have an ultimate goal of getting in your pants, you can watch how he might operate if that was the case, trying to say negative things if you decline his advances. It's a different way of working out, working out your boundaries. 

But really, I don't think he necessarily has ultimate goals. I used to run with a lot of guys and help them with their fitness, and it was just a job. I wanted them personally to succeed, in their cases it meant getting a promotion and raise (occupation where there was a fitness test you had to pass.) How they performed reflected on me, so I always put in the extra effort to help them pass the test. It was never about trying to make the moves on them.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Don't even THINK about getting into relationships with people that make a living off you, or have some kind of business relationship/job.

Focus on yourself for now until you are ready for relationship (seems/sounds like you are no where NEAR that).

Good luck


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I'm having a free training session tomorrow with a trainer. I'm not sure if it's offered usually or not but hell, I'll take free, lol, I want to get fit, he wants to help, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If you don't trust yourself not to be tempted by any possible advances he might make though, I guess you should be wary to keep your distance. I think we all get too caught up in worrying about what everyone else's motives are sometimes. Yeah, don't put yourself in stupid situations, but have some faith in yourself. We can't hide away from the world on the off chance we put a foot wrong. In your case I can see you're trying to limit your exposure to trying situations, and that is admirable. I wouldn't want you to become timid and afraid though. If he asked you out for a drink after training, what's the worst that could come from saying, 'no thanks'?


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> Looks like he thinks you're " easy" and wants to get into your pants.
> It's a thing personal trainers do often, use training sessions to bond with their clients, appear sympathetic to their issues/problems , then have sex with them.
> 
> He senses that you have your issues , so he thinks you're an easy target.
> ...


I see this behavior a lot at the gym and ballroom classes
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

jane1213 said:


> My gut feeling tells me that I am slightly interested in him . I find him very attractive. I enjoy talking to him but I don't want this to be anything more than personal training sessions.


Be careful. Working out creates feel goods in your body which will enhance the response of flirting. I see men on the prowl in these environments. Sad to see really.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

If he's pushing "cardio" at this late date, how competent can he really be?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> If he's pushing "cardio" at this late date, how competent can he really be?


Lol, good point. Though I have a friend who went from huge on the weights to big on cardio, hasn't seemed to have negatively affected his progress. It can be good to change it up.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

There are fishermen who take out their boats. Behind their boats, they put out long fishing lines with hooks. On it, they put 'free food'.

They have no ill will toward the fish. They LIKE fish. But don't mistake the 'free food' for altruism toward the fish's health.

Granted, free personal training can work out in a better manner than the fate of the fish...but 'bait' is bait.

See the nice piece of smelt? Ignore the shiny hook...that's just the sun glinting off a scale...Go ahead...one bite won't hurt.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

""I don't want to get involved with anyone at the moment as I have some mental health issues and relationships with guys seem to mess me up. Thank you.""

This was the last line in your post, so my thoughts are who cares what his intentions are, take the free workout and don't flirt, keep it professional and keep your shorts on.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> It's a thing personal trainers do often, use training sessions to bond with their clients, appear sympathetic to their issues/problems , then have sex with them.


This is a horrible generalization. I have never had a personal trainer use sessions to bond with me all in an attempt to get me in bed. 

It might be true for the trainer the OP was speaking of, but I don't think it is true for all personal trainers.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Ashalicious said:


> This is a horrible generalization. I have never had a personal trainer use sessions to bond with me all in an attempt to get me in bed.
> 
> It might be true for the trainer the OP was speaking of, but I don't think it is true for all personal trainers.


Well, honestly, how many personal trainers are we actually exposed to? I've only met two in my life on a professional level.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

jane1213 said:


> He doesn't seem interested . He is professional and casual with me . He chats with me during our training session as he does with everyone , I think. The only thing that made me wonder is him offering to do things for me for free. You are right maybe I should decline his offer politely. I just wanted to know if he was just being nice or does it suggest something more to people with experience .
> 
> My gut feeling tells me that I am slightly interested in him . I find him very attractive. I enjoy talking to him but I don't want this to be anything more than personal training sessions. I am emotionally messed up due to my last sexual encounter with my friend who sexually abused me.
> 
> In the past I seemed to be clueless about men's intentions or advances and get surprised when they make it clear that they are interested. This time around I am trying to be smart.




As someone who almost had and EA/PA I say CUT ALL TIES NOW!! This is a big red flag!! The "attention/attractive" feelings, I call it, will become more and more addictive as you go on. You will start to crave his attention and the time you two spend with each other.
Find another gym with a female trainer that you pay for!!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

If I understand it correctly, you are single and so is he - right ? Then under normal circumstances I would say go for it - however, as someone said earlier, he makes money out of delivering a service to you. This could compromise the value you get out of this training and your professional (trainee) relationship with him. Not always a good idea to go out with the teacher!


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> Looks like he thinks you're " easy" and wants to get into your pants.
> It's a thing personal trainers do often, use training sessions to bond with their clients, appear sympathetic to their issues/problems , then have sex with them.
> 
> He senses that you have your issues , so he thinks you're an easy target.
> ...



Exactly. There are always exception but I would say that, with exclusion of stock brokers who are plain thieves, personal trainers are among the greatest lowlifes of all professions.


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

Ashalicious said:


> This is a horrible generalization. I have never had a personal trainer use sessions to bond with me all in an attempt to get me in bed.
> 
> It might be true for the trainer the OP was speaking of, but I don't think it is true for* all personal trainers.*


"All" personal trainers means every single one in the world. It would be very unlikely for "all" personal trainers to be the same way. However there might be a typical pattern with many personal trainers that shouldn't be ignored.

A POS personal trainer tried to get my wife to sign up for sessions. And right away when he gave his pitch, he informed her that he was god's gift to women and he'd love to have sex with her. He also told her that all the trainers at this particular club were banging their female clients. Whether not that was actually true or not, I have no idea, but this was this trainer's method of conducting business.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

From what you've said, I don't think he's necessarily hitting on you. Some people get into PT because they genuinely like helping people and he knows that physical activity can help with mental issues. It could be that he's just a nice person, was going to work out anyway, and invited you along because he knew it would be good for you.

However, you should stay away. Emotionally, it doesn't sound like you're in the proper state to have close contact with a man. Go to another gym and train with someone you have absolutely no attraction to. That way you can get all the benefits of working out without having to worry about this emotional stuff.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

jane1213 said:


> He doesn't seem interested . He is professional and casual with me . He chats with me during our training session as he does with everyone , I think. The only thing that made me wonder is him offering to do things for me for free. You are right maybe I should decline his offer politely. I just wanted to know if he was just being nice or does it suggest something more to people with experience .
> 
> My gut feeling tells me that I am slightly interested in him . I find him very attractive. I enjoy talking to him but I don't want this to be anything more than personal training sessions. I am emotionally messed up due to my last sexual encounter with my friend who sexually abused me.
> 
> In the past I seemed to be clueless about men's intentions or advances and get surprised when they make it clear that they are interested. This time around I am trying to be smart.


Honestly, he sounds like a personal trainer. I've trained as one, and have known a few myself, and worked at a gym, and they will offer a free session or two as an incentive to keep you on as a client. The more you work with the trainer, the more independent you could become, and may not need their help anymore. Some gyms give bonuses based on how many times you can re-sign a client, and offering a free session or two can go a long way to keeping a client. 

He doesn't sound like he's interested in anything but keeping you as a client.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

"Personal trainers are lowlifes"? Wow. A lot of hate in this thread.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

Thank you very much for your invaluable inputs. I think he offered this just because he wanted to help me . Still I have to be careful . I think you know men better than me . 

I tend to be naive and have poor judgement . I think I will stop our training sessions for now because I don't want to be attracted to him. We chat during our training session . I know more about him and his family now . I shared a lot with him so far . I think this was a mistake. He is my personal trainer and not a friend. I don't like him now but as one member suggested such feelings might grow. I see him twice a week. It feels like dating! I know what he likes . What music he listens to ...etc . This isn't normal, is it? He is my first personal trainer.

I know I've a HUGE problem with boundaries . Just recently I felt everyone was nice and everyone was my friend. Now I realised how childish this is. I am working on my boundaries with the opposite sex.ive already checked another gym that is close to my place. I will continue going to the same gym for now since I've paid the fee.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Good Luck!!! Stay safe!!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

jane1213 said:


> We chat during our training session . I know more about him and his family now . I shared a lot with him so far . I think this was a mistake. He is my personal trainer and not a friend. I don't like him now but as one member suggested such feelings might grow. I see him twice a week. It feels like dating! I know what he likes . What music he listens to ...etc . This isn't normal, is it?


" _To thy own self be true_.."

Best Wishes.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Cubby said:


> A POS personal trainer tried to get my wife to sign up for sessions. And right away when he gave his pitch, he informed her that he was god's gift to women and he'd love to have sex with her. He also told her that all the trainers at this particular club were banging their female clients.


Hard to believe this, given that we are in the age of sexual harassment lawsuits as a regular occurence. 

Don't you think at least one woman would report this guy or one of all the other trainers in the club?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Really? If you're capable of chatting that much during a training session, you need to work harder. Hell, the last PT session I had about all I could do was breath. Your PT should be pushing you way harder than you would push yourself, otherwise, what's the point? I'd find another PT just for the fact that he wasn't good enough at his job tbh.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

Yes breeze I think you are right but with this one I asked him not to push me to work hard. I am not really fit and I almost fainted the first time and I told him. I had another training session with a different PT. He pushed me to work hard to the point hat my muscles hurt for a week. I didnt go back to the gym for two weeks.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

jane1213 said:


> Thank you very much for your invaluable inputs. I think he offered this just because he wanted to help me . Still I have to be careful . I think you know men better than me .


Yes, you should be........be careful with ANY man out there. When one is on your radar/in your area, take notice.....they are there for a REASON.





jane1213 said:


> I tend to be naive and have poor judgement . I think I will stop our training sessions for now because I don't want to be attracted to him. We chat during our training session . I know more about him and his family now . I shared a lot with him so far . I think this was a mistake. He is my personal trainer and not a friend. I don't like him now but as one member suggested such feelings might grow. I see him twice a week. It feels like dating! I know what he likes . What music he listens to ...etc . This isn't normal, is it? He is my first personal trainer.


It's normal, but not appropriate if you are in a relationship.

I would recommend changing trainer or just stopping all together. 

having such relationships while in a relationship is just dangerous/not healthy.



jane1213 said:


> I know I've a HUGE problem with boundaries . Just recently I felt everyone was nice and everyone was my friend. Now I realised how childish this is. I am working on my boundaries with the opposite sex.ive already checked another gym that is close to my place. I will continue going to the same gym for now since I've paid the fee.


It's not childish, this is completely normal human behavior IMO.

As long as you notice it about yourself and resolve it as it comes, you are golden.

Heck, many women NEVER learn/realize that men would never be friendly/friends with them unless they don't find them attractive.

It sucks, but it's the truth.

You are on the right track OP....keep up the good work!


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

Thank you very much DoF! I always read your posts in the other threads. so much wisdom so much to learn!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

jane1213 said:


> Thank you very much DoF! I always read your posts in the other threads. so much wisdom so much to learn!


Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words. 

:smthumbup:


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

If you're at the gym already, try out some of the group classes. They are a fantastic way to get into shape and you won't have to pay any extra money. And don't worry if you don't know what you're doing. No one cares what you're doing unless you're blocking their view of the instructor.

In case you're new to working out, here are some of the classes you might see at your gym:

Zumba - A fun, latin-based dance class. It's okay if you can't dance. The moves are broken down into simple sequences. Even though it's a great workout, I think most people are there because it's fun.

Step - An aerobics class where you use a small step for added resistance. Good coordination helps. 

BodyPump - An aerobics class where you use weights for added resistance. You set your level based on how much weight you put on your bar. A good workout for all ages and fitness levels. No dance/coordination type ability needed.

Spin/Cycle - Ride a stationary bike to a program created by the instructor. You'll increase and decrease the bike's resistance to simulate different terrain. Great class for beginners since there's no impact and you can set your own level.

Ask someone from the gym to go over the different types of classes they offer and which ones would be good for your ability and goals. There's a class for whatever you need, and working out in a group environment can provide great motivatoin.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

Honestly, most of the time I would chalk things up to a trainer trying to make an extra bit of cash when talking about doing more. However, the little spider senses begin to tingle when a "professional" says they will give you _free_ sessions.

Funny that free is just another four letter F word that seems to be synonymous on occasion! LOL


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Friending players sense the low hanging fruit from a mile away. Its native to them.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Cubby said:


> "All" personal trainers means every single one in the world. It would be very unlikely for "all" personal trainers to be the same way. However there might be a typical pattern with many personal trainers that shouldn't be ignored.
> 
> A POS personal trainer tried to get my wife to sign up for sessions. And right away when he gave his pitch, he informed her that he was god's gift to women and he'd love to have sex with her. He also told her that all the trainers at this particular club were banging their female clients. Whether not that was actually true or not, I have no idea, but this was this trainer's method of conducting business.


Well I hope to god she reported him to the fitness facility he was working at, and also gave him a swift kick in the balls. I would not tolerate that kind of behavior towards me.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Created2Write said:


> Honestly, he sounds like a personal trainer. I've trained as one, and have known a few myself, and worked at a gym, and they will offer a free session or two as an incentive to keep you on as a client. The more you work with the trainer, the more independent you could become, and may not need their help anymore. Some gyms give bonuses based on how many times you can re-sign a client, and offering a free session or two can go a long way to keeping a client.
> 
> He doesn't sound like he's interested in anything but keeping you as a client.


After thing about this quite a bit, I agree with you 100%. I think he is just trying to keep her as a client. I was a personal trainer for a while, and I know for a fact there are so many PT's that it can be hard to get and keep clients, as there is a lot of competition in that field.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

It's an extremely competitive field, and usually they don't earn minimum wage. They only make money based off of commission for how many clients they can sign and resign. If he wasn't pushing you really hard, then it makes perfect sense that he'd be friendly and talkative, otherwise things would get extremely awkward. Also, when you're talking with someone, it's much easier to forget about being tired and sore, and you can often work harder than you originally thought. I haven't known any personal trainer who didn't engage their client in conversation during the workout.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Ashalicious said:


> This is a horrible generalization. I have never had a personal trainer use sessions to bond with me all in an attempt to get me in bed.
> 
> It might be true for the trainer the OP was speaking of, but I don't think it is true for all personal trainers.


Nothing is absolute. But this is VERY common. VERY. It is especially common if the sessions are free. This gives the trainer a power.

Being a personal trainer is being a coach. It can become very intimate. It can be very powerful. Emotional bonding. Dependence. Easier to run a Kino escalation for sure. 

It is very cliche. Personal tainer, tennis instructor, golf instructor, private tutor, karate teacher ... yoga instructor and so on. I have seen this again and again with personal trainers, karate instructors and college professors directly.

No one would say that anything is absolute. But bedding female clients is considered a perk by a good number of personal trainers.

All this said, this works both ways. Many women look at this as a perk with hiring these guys. Some expect it as part of the service. And yes I am very serious here. YMMV.

Some of the more prominent trainers / teachers get away with being very agressive with their students as they of course are virile men and cannot help being drawn to attractive women ... total BS of course. But they get a pass at taking a pass. I know of one Master who invites students, many of whom are married into his office for a private motivational chat and he basically grabs them and kisses them. Some women are offended but are afraid to tell their husbands for various reasons. 

Anyway, for married women who are not professional bodybuilders I suggest they get a very good female personal trainer. There are plenty of good ones these days. Never take "private" lessons in a "private" setting if you want things to be seen as innocent. I say never as my assumption is that you want to avoid compromising situations and are not in an open relationship of any kind. It is very easy to become attracted to someone like these guys, especially if you are working on you.

The real sleezes can keep a number of women on the hook, which is good for business. It kinda reminds e of that old movie. Shampoo ... LOL.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

over20 said:


> as someone who almost had and ea/pa i say cut all ties now!! This is a big red flag!! The "attention/attractive" feelings, i call it, will become more and more addictive as you go on. You will start to crave his attention and the time you two spend with each other.
> Find another gym with a female trainer that you pay for!!


b i n g o


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

lenzi said:


> Hard to believe this, given that we are in the age of sexual harassment lawsuits as a regular occurence.
> 
> Don't you think at least one woman would report this guy or one of all the other trainers in the club?


Unlikely. This is very accepted stuff and of course she misunderstood. But we are not talking about working in a corporate office here. Most women will just move on. Many do not wih for this to become an issue. 

There is really nothing to sue for. 

Honestly. This is very common.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

breeze said:


> Really? If you're capable of chatting that much during a training session, you need to work harder. Hell, the last PT session I had about all I could do was breath. Your PT should be pushing you way harder than you would push yourself, otherwise, what's the point? I'd find another PT just for the fact that he wasn't good enough at his job tbh.


A personal trainer is coaching you and telling you how good you are doing and how good your butt looks and how hot you are becoming. Many will be able to touch you where others would not be free to touch. Hence the Kino escalation. It is like yoga. The physicallity and breathing can be quite sexual. Especially if he is guiding you in your movemenets. It is a combination of admiration as coach, the guy being in better shape than hubby but it is heavy on the emotional side as well. This guy sees her as she is and encourages her and sees the sexy woman she is becoming. He is all positive. He is not about changing diapers, or car problems or about a hubby coming home late and being irritable. This is very powerful stuff. It can be a bonding and a seduction. If he is a real slime he will listen to her complaints and use them on her. Maybe he connects with her on FB and / or texts her messages. He can have the inside track.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

The picture is getting clearer now. I think for now I am stuck with the gym as I've signed few months contract. I've paid the trainer in advance so I guess my money will go to waste if I don't train with him? I'll just cancel the training and get some peace of mind...


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> A personal trainer is coaching you and telling you how good you are doing and how good your butt looks and how hot you are becoming. Many will be able to touch you where others would not be free to touch. Hence the Kino escalation. It is like yoga. The physicallity and breathing can be quite sexual. Especially if he is guiding you in your movemenets. It is a combination of admiration as coach, the guy being in better shape than hubby but it is heavy on the emotional side as well. This guy sees her as she is and encourages her and sees the sexy woman she is becoming. He is all positive. He is not about changing diapers, or car problems or about a hubby coming home late and being irritable. This is very powerful stuff. It can be a bonding and a seduction. If he is a real slime he will listen to her complaints and use them on her. Maybe he connects with her on FB and / or texts her messages. He can have the inside track.


Er well, not for me. My PT doesn't touch me except on the elbows to help with a lift if I need it towards the end of a set and didn't say diddly squat about my butt or any other part of me. His encouragement was telling me to do more reps. Maybe my experiences are different from other people's, or maybe I don't sit there yacking through a workout. Go to gym to train, people, ffs, it's not a club. See these twits hardly raising a sweat, checking facebook on the gym equipment. May as well take a leisurely stroll around the park, save your money.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> A personal trainer is coaching you and telling you how good you are doing and how good your butt looks and how hot you are becoming. Many will be able to touch you where others would not be free to touch. Hence the Kino escalation. It is like yoga. The physicallity and breathing can be quite sexual. Especially if he is guiding you in your movemenets. It is a combination of admiration as coach, the guy being in better shape than hubby but it is heavy on the emotional side as well. This guy sees her as she is and encourages her and sees the sexy woman she is becoming. He is all positive. He is not about changing diapers, or car problems or about a hubby coming home late and being irritable. This is very powerful stuff. It can be a bonding and a seduction. If he is a real slime he will listen to her complaints and use them on her. Maybe he connects with her on FB and / or texts her messages. He can have the inside track.


Because of the nature of this board, I think the advice can be highly biased towards the dangers of affairs. It's a huge misrepresentation to say that personal trainers are trying to seduce their clients. Certainly it's possible and has happened before, but I feel it's the exception.

Jane, I don't feel you have to cancel your training and lose the money. Personally, I don't think he's doing anything wrong. He sounds like a trainer trying to keep his client happy, not a sleezeball trying to hit on you. But if you feel he crosses the line, don't encourage it. If he asks for your phone number or facebook info, tell him you prefer to keep your contact with him at the gym. If he makes you feel uncomfortable, tell the gym management that you'd like to switch to another trainer and I'm sure they'll comply.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

My comments about personal trainers are NOT based on this board but actual real life experience in the gym and with trainers of all types. This goes beyond PTs.

For some reason folks want to use the logic that because they can sight one time something did not happen that it never happens. Or that because it happened once that it happens all of the time. This is why we use terms like not uncommon.

My point is to avoid risky situations if you can. There are excellent female PTs out there. I am not saying all PTs do this. But enough do to be aware. Also as in most risky things ... they do not apply to "me". "I" know better. "I" could never fall into an EA. Right.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

wilson said:


> If you're at the gym already, try out some of the group classes. They are a fantastic way to get into shape and you won't have to pay any extra money. And don't worry if you don't know what you're doing. No one cares what you're doing unless you're blocking their view of the instructor.
> 
> In case you're new to working out, here are some of the classes you might see at your gym:
> 
> ...


Nice list of time wasters. Stick to barbells or vintage Nautilus machines (if you're lucky enough to have access to some).


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I commented on this thread back in the beginning, I have to admit I am surprised by the way it has turned against PT's. I don't care what someone does for a living, trainers, doctors, butchers, pool guy, whatever, no one can take advantage of you unless you let them. 

At the beginning the OP stated she wasn't interested in a relationship, why is it any more complicated than that? OP..go to the gym and work out, if he flirts don't reciprocate, there's no reason not to be friendly but you have to know where to draw the line. If he sees you are there to work out I would think he will fall into a professional mode, if not just shut him down and tell him not interested. If he is persistent complain to management and ask for another trainer.

OP you are in charge...you set the rules and boundaries...he works for you...the relationship goes where you let it, with the trainer or any one else in your life, it's that simple.

Honestly I can't for the life of me see why you would consider not working out there because you are afraid you may end up getting involved with your trainer.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Cooper said:


> I
> Honestly I can't for the life of me see why you would consider not working out there because you are afraid you may end up getting involved with your trainer.


As with all things human, the bell curve is operational here. Somehow, my clientele has gone from almost all male, to almost all female, about half are married. Nevertheless, there is a stereotype and stereotypes exist for a reason. If my wife wants a male trainer, it's going to be me.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

over20 said:


> We had friends that separated due to my (ex) girlfriend's affair with her trainer. The couple wasn't even divorced yet and she became pregnant by her new man. Because she was still not legally divorced to our friend (the husband), she was still on the health insurance policy. The husband's premiums and policy paid for the prenatal care and delivery of my (ex) friend's new baby. This was in Florida. It was a horrid situation


This from another thread today.

Again the point on PTs is that if you are married if you do not consider the risks then you are more vulnerable. This is not just about PTs as has been stated.

Elvis lost his sweet wife to her Karate instructor.

Inappropriate Behavior --> Unfaithfulness --> Cheating

The above can occur very quickly and yet with perception to those involved. They do not see it. Their brain chemicals impair their judgement. We tend to do what feels good. Just be aware.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

OP, you're going to be fine. There are sleazeballs in every corner of the Earth. This guy may or may not be one, we don't know. 

This is about you, growing some, learning to have boundaries, not be gullible, and protecting your heart._ You are not ready for a relationship. You don't want one._ Let that be your mantra for now. 

Take the training you've paid for. If he makes any "moves" or you feel uncomfortable, settle it at the lowest possible level. In other words, tell him it's not cool. If that fixes it, yay! If not, take it to the people you gave your money to. 

Meanwhile, you remember the mantra, right? Take your time. Life is long, you are young, there's no rush. Taking care of your physical being is important. The emotional side isn't so simple.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

I am not in a relationship but I can see how having a male PT is not a good idea. As Entropy300 said , it is better not to put myself in such a situation. I've posted this thread and was wondering about the "free" training because I am slightly attracted to him. I enjoy talking to him. I find him physically attractive and he has a sense of humor. 

As a way of encouragement he once said I will be awesome like him but a bit awesomer. 

I get hit by guys but I don't care about what they did or what they said. Over20 is right. Such feelings grow with time.

Cooper and double trouble you are right . I've control over this . 

He already has my number . He told me I can contact him and I started booking session by texting!

Maybe nothing wrong with his behavioir. He is being friendly and helpful. I think it is ME . I find him attractive. Not a good sign. I've a past of not being able to control my emotions which is human. Better to be away from such situations. I hope I am all the wiser now.


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