# Parent child dynamic



## Atilia (Aug 5, 2012)

Hi

My husband and I have had two mc sessions and he isn't happy with the therapist. She is very vague and isn't allowing us to focus on the 4 major issues we have:
1.) Parent child dynamic where he has assumed the role of the parent and me the child. We both play into this and as a result the intimacy has diminished

2.) mistrust: we both have some degree of mistrust
3.) Registering love: i have a problem registering his love and his actions because I don't trust it and as a result he is exhausted of proving his love and affection and he feels i am a bottomless pit of neediness as a result
4.) Intimacy: we have no intimacy: he doesn't feel that sexual attraction although he says he is attracted to me physically, but not sexually because a parent doesn't want to be with a child in that way and the mistrust as well has hampered his ability to be intimate

So here we are trying to change our pattern while separated we said after 3 months if nothing works we call it quits and divorce. 
I am also going to do schema therapy where I will have 30 sessions to improve my behavior so that I can control my anger and though processes
I am scared that these patterns may be too difficult to change. Does anyone have any success or similar issues with the parent child dynamic? Please share.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Atilia said:


> Hi
> 
> My husband and I have had two mc sessions and he isn't happy with the therapist. She is very vague and isn't allowing us to focus on the 4 major issues we have:
> 1.) Parent child dynamic where he has assumed the role of the parent and me the child. We both play into this and as a result the intimacy has diminished
> ...


I don't have any experience with this, but it sounds like you are doing the right thing by getting joint and individual counselling. I would go in with a list and tell the counsellor what you and your husband want to focus on. If that doesn't work, find a new counsellor.

Good luck.


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