# traveling solo?



## effess

my wife and I have been married for over ten years and have had our ups and downs but there still is alot of love there. we also have two young children between 4 and 7. 
i love to travel, my wife enjoys it as well but is much more cautious frugal and anxious than myself which usually means we don't go anywhere. 
which leads to my question what do people think of someone in that situation traveling solo for a week once a yr? do you think the traveling spouse is irresponsible or selfish? or is it ok as long as it meets more sensible criteria (affordable timing etc)?


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## Cosmos

As long as _both parties_ are OK with it, then IMO it's fine.

However, if your W enjoys travel herself, but doesn't want to do it because she thinks the budget can't afford it, I'm wondering how she will feel about you getting a holiday, but not her?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

We both do, my hubby more so then me. My hubby leaves at least once a year. He usually goes to Alaska for a hunting/salmon fishing trip for 10 nights. I take much shorter trips for 4 nights and I don't leave as often to see my friends. Now it's much harder for me to travel. We take trips together as well. We are planning one for next year sometime.


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## Hope1964

If it works for you. Wouldn't work for us.


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## EleGirl

It works when both of you agree. 

What kind of travel do you want to do that she does not?


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## effess

traveling with family is much more expensive and difficult than going alone. im not against it she is.


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## effess

curious why?


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## effess

international travel - long flights, wandering around big cities just exploring.


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## EleGirl

Let's say you spend $2,000 a year on your one week of solo travel.

Is there now $2,000 a year for you wife to spend just on herself for something that she really wants to do?


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## EleGirl

effess said:


> curious why?


Because I'm trying to figure out what kind of travel you want to do that your wife and children cannot come along.


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## effess

EleGirl said:


> Because I'm trying to figure out what kind of travel you want to do that your wife and children cannot come along.


actually the curious question was for hope lol.


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## effess

EleGirl said:


> Let's say you spend $2,000 a year on your one week of solo travel.
> 
> Is there now $2,000 a year for you wife to spend just on herself for something that she really wants to do?


it wouldn't be that much. if she wanted to she could but she never would.


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## EleGirl

effess said:


> it wouldn't be that much. if she wanted to she could but she never would.


Ok, so you don't think your taking 1 trip a year will hurt your budget. Your wife is not keen on it.

What can you negotiate with to get her to agree? What does she want? Can you spend more time with her? Take her on a vacation that she wants to go on? What does she truly value?


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## effess

EleGirl said:


> Ok, so you don't think your taking 1 trip a year will hurt your budget. Your wife is not keen on it.
> 
> What can you negotiate with to get her to agree? What does she want? Can you spend more time with her? Take her on a vacation that she wants to go on? What does she truly value?


i wouldn't take a trip if it hurt our budget. if were billionaires my wife would still count the pennies lol - that's how she is.
is not that i don't prefer to travel w them - that's always my first preference. its that she prefers the path of least resistance which is no big expensive trips. if its budget friendly and low hassle - that's the choice for her.


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