# Does anyone get married or remarried because they believe it is God's plan for us?



## M042 (Nov 4, 2013)

Of course, in addition to loving their significant other. I know many-- esp from the other thread-- against getting married again for many other reasons, does anyone feel like once they find a committed, really solid relationship, that they SHOULD get married? 

(even though they find the whole deal disadvantageous overall...)

I think there are some places in the bible that indicate God wanted us to live in a marriage.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife, Mary, absolutely believes yes. No doubt at all. I do believe in God, and Christ, but I have a great deal of trouble with humanity, so I don't believe in any churches. But yes, God meant for me to marry Mary.

In spite of all the problems. And my evil ways.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

My religious belief on this question are a bit off the wall. I believe that marriage is a legal contract and has little to do with the Church. But, any sexual relation without legal marriage is considered adultery. So it could be said the the religion requires us to marry legally in order to be right with god and the church. But wait that is not all. There is a separate religious contract between man and wife (yes legal marriage is part of or required before). That separate contract qualifies the couple for more blessings. And here is the kick: A legal divorce does not always cause a religious divorce. 

Honestly my personal opinion based on my own feelings and sexuality is, that when a couple love each other enough to meld their lives together they should have enough trust and commitment to and in each other to formalize their commitment.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

I used to believe it.


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## username77 (Dec 27, 2017)

I'm sure some people think they do, they think everything is God's will and we're merely powerless peons unable to change anything or control our own destiny. I personally don't believe in that.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

No. There's no God to be able to made determinations about anyone's life. It is only in people's minds to believe what they want to believe, but it stills doesn't make it true.

The concept you're talking about us called theological determinism.


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## M042 (Nov 4, 2013)

username77 said:


> I'm sure some people think they do, they think everything is God's will and we're merely powerless peons unable to change anything or control our own destiny. I personally don't believe in that.


I don't mean a belief that it is God's will, (or that it was 'predestined') but that...they have met, love each other, and instead of just being in a committed relationship, decide to get married because they think being married, living in marriage, is God's plan for us.


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## M042 (Nov 4, 2013)

Rob_1 said:


> No. There's no God to be able to made determinations about anyone's life. It is only in people's minds to believe what they want to believe, but it stills doesn't make it true.
> 
> The concept you're talking about us called theological determinism.


Again, that is not what I am talking about.


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## username77 (Dec 27, 2017)

Rob_1 said:


> The concept you're talking about us called theological determinism.


I think it's more the predestination doctrine Calvinists follow. Such a depressing doctrine.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

WilliamM said:


> I do believe in God, and Christ, but I have a great deal of trouble with humanity, so I don't believe in any churches.


OT: The first Christian church consisted of 13 people: Jesus and His disciples. One of them betrayed Christ and turned him over to be crucified. Another denied Christ 3 times at the moment of truth. Another doubted Him when he reappeared. And on and on. This IS the humanity and frailty of our Church. Yet, the good works far exceed the bad. We can focus on our frailties and enter into a faith paralysis because of it, or we can move forward and carry out Gods will, knowing we are sinners, but believing that God's love for us is manifest in redeeming grace.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Rick Blaine said:


> OT: The first Christian church consisted of 13 people: Jesus and His disciples. One of them betrayed Christ and turned him over to be crucified. Another denied Christ 3 times at the moment of truth. Another doubted Him when he reappeared. And on and on. This IS the humanity and frailty of our Church. Yet, the good works far exceed the bad. We can focus on our frailties and enter into a faith paralysis because of it, or we can move forward and carry out Gods will, knowing we are sinners, but believing that God's love for us is manifest in redeeming grace.


Yes. The good works far exceed the bad.

And the message resonates. I do believe it is right.

But I still don't like people. Mary just pats me on the shoulder and says yes dear, it's okay, we still love you.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

M042 said:


> Of course, in addition to loving their significant other. I know many-- esp from the other thread-- against getting married again for many other reasons, does anyone feel like once they find a committed, really solid relationship, that they SHOULD get married?
> 
> (even though they find the whole deal disadvantageous overall...)
> 
> I think there are some places in the bible that indicate God wanted us to live in a marriage.


Actually, the writings attributed to Paul imply that we should get married if we can't tolerate being single. 

In regard to feeling that it is "God's will", in my experiences, people generally feel it is God's will when they first feel that way themselves.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

@M042: your own words: "...decide to get married because they think being married, living in marriage, is God's plan for us."

Whether it is by an act of faith or by a feeling that it was determined by a God's plan, it is still the same: wishful thinking, because there is not God.

It is all a matter of two people randomly meeting, and clicking, and being able to develop a strong emotional bond that make them able to commit.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

God, whoever or whatever that is could not care any less what we do. There is no plan for us. Thus marriage, is not part of any grand plan for us. It, like religion, is itself is a man made social construct designed to control and guide human activities towards some societal need. So if it is any sort of "plan", it is man's plan, not God's. It is just that many people prefer to believe in man made fairy tales instead of reality and life itself.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

WilliamM said:


> Yes. The good works far exceed the bad.
> 
> And the message resonates. I do believe it is right.
> 
> But I still don't like people. Mary just pats me on the shoulder and says yes dear, it's okay, we still love you.


I focus on the idea that we are created in God's image, and that helps me to see the goodness in people. It's definitely there even if we are a stubborn and selfish lot.


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## M042 (Nov 4, 2013)

Steve1000 said:


> Actually, the writings attributed to Paul imply that we should get married if we can't tolerate being single.
> 
> In regard to feeling that it is "God's will", in my experiences, people generally feel it is God's will when they first feel that way themselves.


Ok, but earlier on...


18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs* and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,


“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.*


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

_There are those who think that life
Has nothing left to chance
With a host of holy horrors
To direct our aimless dance

A planet of playthings
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
“The stars aren’t aligned –
Or the gods are malign”
Blame is better to give than receive

You can choose a ready guide
In some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide
You still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears
And kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that’s clear
*I will choose free will.*_

From FREEWILL by Rush
Lyrics by Neil Peart


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

M042 said:


> Ok, but earlier on...
> 
> 
> 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
> ...


*

That was a mighty big job he had naming all those animals. Even among birds, there are 9,000 - 10,000 different species. I'm guessing I would have lost track after a several hundred trying to determine if I had already named this type of bird and then trying to not repeat the same names.*


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

If God could make Adam from scratch, why would he need to heist one of Adam's ribs to make Eve. Couldn't he have just made her from scratch as well?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Steve1000 said:


> That was a mighty big job he had naming all those animals. Even among birds, there are 9,000 - 10,000 different species. I'm guessing I would have lost track after a several hundred trying to determine if I had already named this type of bird and then trying to not repeat the same names.


That's child play compared to this:

_1 Chronicles 28:9
"As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever._

All 7 billion of us? Now that's impressive!


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## Notself (Aug 25, 2017)

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled. (Ezekiel 23:20–21)


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

M042 said:


> Ok, but earlier on...
> 
> 
> 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
> ...


*

Except when you go back and read chapter 1 before skipping to chapter 2, it says they were created at the same time and doesn't say anything about being lonely or being companions. He just tells the to screw a lot.




GENESIS Chapter 1:
27 So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Click to expand...

*


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

To answer the original question, yes I do believe that if two people are committed to and love each other, it is God's will that they get married. The institution of marriage was created by God and even though we humans have devalued and trashed it, it is still God's will for families. It will never be extinct as long as there are Christians on the earth.

I know that Christians have done damage to the institution as well, but that does not mean that God has changed His mind about having the structure of marriage as His will for families. 

I of course would not expect unbelievers to accept this. But unbelievers are still getting married too, perhaps for different reasons.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

To answer the question, no.


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## M042 (Nov 4, 2013)

thefam said:


> To answer the original question, yes I do believe that if two people are committed to and love each other, it is God's will that they get married. The institution of marriage was created by God and even though we humans have devalued and trashed it, it is still God's will for families. It will never be extinct as long as there are Christians on the earth.
> 
> I know that Christians have done damage to the institution as well, but that does not mean that God has changed His mind about having the structure of marriage as His will for families.
> 
> I of course would not expect unbelievers to accept this. But unbelievers are still getting married too, perhaps for different reasons.



Thank you for rounding back to the topic. 

My girlfriend will often tell me basically what you said, in the context of talking about how our kids are having a hard time with going back and forth between parents, or challenges in raising our children as divorce parents-- meaning it is just one parent with the kids at most given times. 

"God didn't want it this way" Or "God didn't want divorce". And other times, in the context of getting married again (when that comes up) she will say "I don't think God made me to be alone, or to raise my girls alone". 

She has a strong faith and a belief in how God wants us to live, so I was just wondering if others thought this way too ( I know that there are many who still do) and if in fact this factors into their decision to get married.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Moderator's Message

Folks, please keep this on topic.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> That's child play compared to this:
> 
> _1 Chronicles 28:9
> "As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever._
> ...


Yes, true, but gods are known for doing some pretty miraculous stuff.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

thefam said:


> To answer the original question, yes I do believe that if two people are committed to and love each other, it is God's will that they get married. The institution of marriage was created by God and even though we humans have devalued and trashed it, it is still God's will for families. It will never be extinct as long as there are Christians on the earth.
> 
> I know that Christians have done damage to the institution as well, but that does not mean that God has changed His mind about having the structure of marriage as His will for families.
> 
> I of course would not expect unbelievers to accept this. But unbelievers are still getting married too, perhaps for different reasons.


FYI, Marriage has been around longer than Christianity has been around.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Steve1000 said:


> FYI, Marriage has been around longer than Christianity has been around.


Curious as to why you think I wouldn't know that?


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## M042 (Nov 4, 2013)

Steve1000 said:


> FYI, Marriage has been around longer than Christianity has been around.


So has the old testament...


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

thefam said:


> Curious as to why you think I wouldn't know that?


The reason for my reply was because of this quote: "It will never be extinct as long as there are Christians on the earth."

If marriage existed before there were Christians on the Earth, then I don't understand the reasoning that its survival relies on Christians remaining on the Earth.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Steve1000 said:


> The reason for my reply was because of this quote: "It will never be extinct as long as there are Christians on the earth."
> 
> If marriage existed before there were Christians on the Earth, then I don't understand the reasoning that its survival relies on Christians remaining on the Earth.


I didn't say it's survival depended on Christians. In fact I went on to say that non-believers are still getting married also. But the reason I made that statement is many here on TAM have said marriage is on it's way to being extinct. I was merely stating that as long as there are believers in the God of the Bible, marriage will never be extinct. 

That being said, I acknowledge that I'm terrible at putting my thoughts in writing. That's why I wanted to know what led you to think that as a Christian, I wouldn't know the history of marriage.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

M042 said:


> So has the old testament...


That's true. Marriage developed within Jewish culture, as it did in ancient Egypt, ancient China, and Mesopotamia.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

thefam said:


> I didn't say it's survival depended on Christians. In fact I went on to say that non-believers are still getting married also. But the reason I made that statement is many here on TAM have said marriage is on it's way to being extinct. I was merely stating that as long as there are believers in the God of the Bible, marriage will never be extinct.
> 
> That being said, I acknowledge that I'm terrible at putting my thoughts in writing. That's why I wanted to know what led you to think that as a Christian, I wouldn't know the history of marriage.


I sincerely think that you are better than most at putting your thoughts in writing. I somewhat misunderstood the full meaning of your quote, but I don't think that reflects any inability on your part. Without the ability to hear one's tone and see facial expressions, we'll occasionally need to clear some things up. Keep on posting. Sometimes we'll disagree on some things and often we'll agree on other things.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

I've always been bemused by Christians who think it is God's will that they remarry after divorce despite in the Bible being very explicit that this is not allowed. It helps remind me that most people adjust their beliefs to their desires rather than the other way around.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

*******Yes. The good works far exceed the bad.....***************

Yeah ...... uuummmm...all those good Catholics with the crusades and other "religions" with their holy wars of the world ..

So easy to wash your hands clean of responsibility in anything (war,marriage,money,sex) when "it is in the name of _________" (fill in the blank with your God of choice) 

God's will for your marriage ...... I don't think so

I'll take free will ...... and responsibility


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## M042 (Nov 4, 2013)

FalCod said:


> I've always been bemused by Christians who think it is God's will that they remarry after divorce despite in the Bible being very explicit that this is not allowed. It helps remind me that most people adjust their beliefs to their desires rather than the other way around.


The alternatives to marriage after divorce are no relationship, casual relationship, serious committed relationship and re-marriage. Which one would God want? 

I am always bemused by people who claim to be bemused.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Mr.Married said:


> *******Yes. The good works far exceed the bad.....***************
> 
> 
> 
> ...




The idea that Christianity negates free will is very Calvinist. That is one tiny dead end.

Christians have perpetrated many bad things, including in my personal life. They tortured my wife when she was eleven years old, in the name of righteousness. Even my wife doesn’t hold that against Christianity.

I have read philosophers who ask to consider what the world today might look like if not for Christianity. The moral standards which I deem valuable in our modern society were driven almost solely by Christian doctrine.

When I grew up racism was legal in the US. The only voices I heard against it came from the church. It was the call to that belief in congress which got the necessary bills passed. It was the churches which rallied the people to get the necessary votes to make it a part of the constitution. It became law because people of faith believe, by and large, racism is wrong.

The call for women’s suffrage was driven by the Christian church.

The call for emancipation also.

There are some, many, very astute people who think if it weren’t for the Christian faith we would still be practicing slavery today. And sending our prisoners to their deaths in the arenas.

There is no philosophy in agnosticism to counterbalance those practices.

We are bad. We could have been worse.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

M042 said:


> Of course, in addition to loving their significant other. I know many-- esp from the other thread-- against getting married again for many other reasons, does anyone feel like once they find a committed, really solid relationship, that they SHOULD get married?
> 
> (even though they find the whole deal disadvantageous overall...)
> 
> I think there are some places in the bible that indicate God wanted us to live in a marriage.


*As a committed Christian, I firmly believe that the Heavenly Father truly desires for us to be married, committed, and looking out for one another!

And while it may well be sinful in His eyes not to be married and living together, I truly believe that our Creator would consider the circumstances in offering up His loving forgiveness!*


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

M042 said:


> The alternatives to marriage after divorce are no relationship, casual relationship, serious committed relationship and re-marriage. Which one would God want?
> 
> I am always bemused by people who claim to be bemused.


I can't speak for God. I can only relate what the Bible has to say on the topic. I'm not a biblical scholar, but it seems fairly unambiguous. I guess people choose to believe what they want to believe about what the Bible says rather than just following the obvious intent. 

I talked to a woman last year that was trying to be a good Christian and wanted a divorce. Her strategy seemed to be to withhold sex and affection until he broke down and cheated on her. Then she could use the sexual immorality clause to escape. People are strange. I don't know why she couldn't just say I disagree with the Bible on this and am going to do what I want to do.



> Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
> 
> Mark 10:11-12 He (Jesus) answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."
> 
> ...


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

M042 said:


> I don't mean a belief that it is God's will, (or that it was 'predestined') but that...they have met, love each other, and instead of just being in a committed relationship, decide to get married because they think being married, living in marriage, is God's plan for us.


Oh yes, for us marriage was the only way as God forbids sex outside marriage. So living together wasn't an option unless we stayed celibate. 
If you follow God then that's what He says.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

M042 said:


> The alternatives to marriage after divorce are no relationship, casual relationship, serious committed relationship and re-marriage. Which one would God want?
> 
> I am always bemused by people who claim to be bemused.


Agreed. We are both Christians in a second marriage of 12 years. God doesn't want us living together if we aren't married.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FalCod said:


> I've always been bemused by Christians who think it is God's will that they remarry after divorce despite in the Bible being very explicit that this is not allowed. It helps remind me that most people adjust their beliefs to their desires rather than the other way around.


Its not forbidden. In the Bible a divorce always ended a marriage and it was always understood that the woman would marry again(she couldn't divorce her husband at that time) otherwise she would be destitute. if the man merely 'put away' his wife rather than divorced her, which men at that time had a habit of doing, she wasn't free to get married again.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> Its not forbidden. In the Bible a divorce always ended a marriage and it was always understood that the woman would marry again(she couldn't divorce her husband at that time) otherwise she would be destitute. if the man merely 'put away' his wife rather than divorced her, which men at that time had a habit of doing, she wasn't free to get married again.


I'm sure that you know the Bible better than I do, but I'm not sure how to reconcile what you are saying with what Christ meant when he said "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." What did Jesus mean? I thought He meant that divorce was something that He didn't recognize. I thought that's what all that "What God has joined together, let no man separate" stuff was about. Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing but I always thought that from God's viewpoint, marriage was "until death do us part".


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FalCod said:


> I'm sure that you know the Bible better than I do, but I'm not sure how to reconcile what you are saying with what Christ meant when he said "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." What did Jesus mean? I thought He meant that divorce was something that He didn't recognize. I thought that's what all that "What God has joined together, let no man separate" stuff was about. Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing but I always thought that from God's viewpoint, marriage was "until death do us part".


The word that is translated as divorce in the Bible can also be translated as 'putting away'. This is what many men did at that time, they got rid of one wife without divorcing her and married another one. This left the rejected wife destitute as she was unable to remarry without a proper divorce. This is what God was referring to when he says I hate divorce/putting away. Also Jesus says except for 'pornea', which means sexual immorality. So if your spouse commits any sort of sexual immorality then you are free to end that marriage. Also if your spouse abandons you, you are free to move on.

R.Catholics get round their aversion to divorce by having annulments. Basically that is divorce but under anther name and its not Biblical.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Oh yes, for us marriage was the only way as God forbids sex outside marriage. So living together wasn't an option unless we stayed celibate.
> If you follow God then that's what He says.


When did God say this? And to whom? Was it to you? Because God never said any such thing. It might say so in the Bible. But the Bible was written by man, edited by man, translated by man, it was not written by God. It is just a book that says a bunch of things (many contradictory) that someone said God said.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ynot said:


> When did God say this? And to whom? Was it to you? Because God never said any such thing. It might say so in the Bible. But the Bible was written by man, edited by man, translated by man, it was not written by God. It is just a book that says a bunch of things (many contradictory) that someone said God said.


He says it thought His word the Bible. It was written by men inspired by the Holy Spirit. 
He also says it to us directly. I know a young couple who felt very uncomfortable if they did too much physically while dating/engaged and they said it was as if God was warning them and protecting them.

He says it to everyone.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> He says it thought His word the Bible. It was written by men inspired by the Holy Spirit.
> So they say. But apparently God hasn't decided to say anything else worth writing about in over a thousand years? Give me a break. Then we have the fact that you, yourself even have made comments about poorly translated verses. So um, yeah, not buying that.
> He also says it to us directly. I know a young couple who felt very uncomfortable if they did too much physically while dating/engaged and they said it was as if God was warning them and protecting them.
> 
> He says it to everyone.


I guess I don't rate then, because God never said any sort of thing to me. For that matter, he must have forgotten to say anything to the millions of other people who engage in premarital sex. I think you are confusing indoctrination with actual thought.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ynot said:


> I guess I don't rate then, because God never said any sort of thing to me. For that matter, he must have forgotten to say anything to the millions of other people who engage in premarital sex. I think you are confusing indoctrination with actual thought.
> if you are seriously following God daily, praying, reading the Bible, listening to Him, then you will be sensitive to his voice and promptings.
> Most people who have sex outside marriage are not His followers so they don't care what God says.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ynot said:


> I guess I don't rate then, because God never said any sort of thing to me. For that matter, he must have forgotten to say anything to the millions of other people who engage in premarital sex. I think you are confusing indoctrination with actual thought.


if you are seriously following God daily, praying, reading the Bible, listening to Him, then you will be sensitive to his voice and promptings. 
Most people who have sex outside marriage are not His followers so they don't care what God says.

God doesn't need to add anything to the Bible, its clear there how we are to act and live.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

The OP asked what We believed. Diana is answering that question precisely. It is rather presumptuous of ynot to try to tell Diana what she believes. Neither of you are going to convince the other.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> The word that is translated as divorce in the Bible can also be translated as 'putting away'. This is what many men did at that time, they got rid of one wife without divorcing her and married another one. This left the rejected wife destitute as she was unable to remarry without a proper divorce. This is what God was referring to when he says I hate divorce/putting away. Also Jesus says except for 'pornea', which means sexual immorality. So if your spouse commits any sort of sexual immorality then you are free to end that marriage. Also if your spouse abandons you, you are free to move on.
> 
> R.Catholics get round their aversion to divorce by having annulments. Basically that is divorce but under anther name and its not Biblical.


I'm still not clear on how to reconcile what you are saying with what the Bible says. Looking at Luke 16:18, Matthew 5:32, and Mark 10:11-12, it _seems_ like what Jesus is saying is that if a man divorces (or sets aside if you prefer) his wife and marries another, he is committing adultery and the same goes for anyone that marries the divorced or set aside wife. I'm going to set aside the example of the wife cheating. When I look at any translation oof Like 16:18on this page, they all seem to very clearly indicate that God considers any sexual relationship that occurs after a divorce (or set aside) to be adultery.

I understand why divorced people might want it to be otherwise. Being stuck in an awful marriage with celibacy as your only alternative seems pretty awful. Still, it seems like the Bible clearly condemns remarriage and that those that say it doesn't are twisting the direct teachings of Jesus to match what they _want _Him to have said rather than what He _actually _said.

Personally, I think the literal Bible asks too much in this case and people should feel free to set aside what God seems to be asking. Maybe His word was distorted by the people writing it. I feel the same about the whole "you'll burn in Hell for all eternity if you don't get the details of salvation right" thing. I seriously don't see God punishing people that severely for what in most cases would be an unintentional mistake. But it's what Biblical literalists keep telling me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FalCod said:


> I'm still not clear on how to reconcile what you are saying with what the Bible says. Looking at Luke 16:18, Matthew 5:32, and Mark 10:11-12, it _seems_ like what Jesus is saying is that if a man divorces (or sets aside if you prefer) his wife and marries another, he is committing adultery and the same goes for anyone that marries the divorced or set aside wife. I'm going to set aside the example of the wife cheating. When I look at any translation oof Like 16:18on this page, they all seem to very clearly indicate that God considers any sexual relationship that occurs after a divorce (or set aside) to be adultery.
> 
> I understand why divorced people might want it to be otherwise. Being stuck in an awful marriage with celibacy as your only alternative seems pretty awful. Still, it seems like the Bible clearly condemns remarriage and that those that say it doesn't are twisting the direct teachings of Jesus to match what they _want _Him to have said rather than what He _actually _said.
> 
> Personally, I think the literal Bible asks too much in this case and people should feel free to set aside what God seems to be asking. Maybe His word was distorted by the people writing it. I feel the same about the whole "you'll burn in Hell for all eternity if you don't get the details of salvation right" thing. I seriously don't see God punishing people that severely for what in most cases would be an unintentional mistake. But it's what Biblical literalists keep telling me.


Matthew 19 v 9
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

if there has been any sort of sexual immorality, (not just adultery because the word for adultery isn't the same as 'pornea' used here). In our case this applied to both of our exes in different ways. 

Being saved isn't about getting things right, its about following Jesus Christ who got it right for us.


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