# Unedited Honesty -- For Ladies



## jld

I thought we could leave the twin thread to the guys over in Men's, and start our own. And I know, it has been done before. But I felt like doing it again. 

What do you personally find attractive in a man? What makes a man stand out to you?

Tonight, I had to run to the store with one of my kids. It was a busy time, and I was waiting to turn left in the grocery parking lot. Of course the cars were speeding through, quick as they could, but one man in a small pickup stopped and let me turn left. 

He didn't have to do it. 

He did it anyway.

I am a happily married woman. But if my husband died, and I were thinking about dating again, that is the kind of man I would look twice at. I don't even know what he looks like. But I felt his kindness, and I find that very attractive.


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## FizzBomb

How 'bout a pic of a huge **** and balls bouncing provocatively - even it up a bit to rival the pic of the huge bouncing breasts pic in the same thread over in the mens forum. 

What do I personally find attractive in a man and what stands out to me?

Good looks, a nice chest and flat stomach, humour (don't take yourself too seriously), how he treats others, generosity, a nice chest, reasonably deep voice (not high pitched, whiny), nice guns, well dresssed, well groomed, decent sized **** :lol: , not self absorbed or arrogant (probably the worst traits), a nice chest  , kind and fair.


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## Adeline

I find it attractive when a man is what I believe is referred to as a bit of a "pioneer man." Very outdoorsy, old school manly, beard, self sufficient, nice muscley chest and arms (but not too big!), isn't much into fashion, protective, confident, adventurous. I also love a good set of eyes


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## FizzBomb

The rugged outdoorsy type is definitely a turn on for me - minus the beard. :smthumbup:


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## Adeline

FizzBomb said:


> The rugged outdoorsy type is definitely a turn on for me - minus the beard. :smthumbup:


rugged! that's the word I was looking for.

And how do you put pictures on here? I bet I could change your mind about beards with a few different pictures! There are certain type of men that will make you swoon whilst being bearded. Maybe I can convert you


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## FizzBomb

I'm open to the 'beard conversion' - Amen sister


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## over20

Sense of humor does it for me EVERY time


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## FizzBomb

You know what else does it for me ladies?

A man at work. Let me clarify. A man at work around the house doing those projects/jobs that need strength, power tools. Watching a man working versus a man watching t.v. lounging on the couch for hours. An active man gets the motor running. Maybe ties in with the outdoorsy/pioneer active type man.


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## over20

FizzBomb said:


> You know what else does it for me ladies?
> 
> A man at work. Let me clarify. A man at work around the house doing those projects/jobs that need strength, power tools. Watching a man working versus a man watching t.v. lounging on the couch for hours. An active man gets the motor running. Maybe ties in with the outdoorsy/pioneer active type man.


You know Fizz, you triggered a memory for me. Years ago hubs was working on the car with the hood open and it was raining. I remember looking out the window and saying to myself "Now that's a real man, and he's mine!!"


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## FizzBomb

over20 said:


> You know Fizz, you triggered a memory for me. Years ago hubs was working on the car with the hood open and it was raining. I remember looking out the window and saying to myself "Now that's a real man, and he's mine!!"


OoLaLa! That's mega sexy, over20. Can imagine he would have looked extra hot with his wet shirt sticking to his body. :smthumbup:


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## over20

FizzBomb said:


> OoLaLa! That's mega sexy, over20. Can imagine he would have looked extra hot with his wet shirt sticking to his body. :smthumbup:


Don't even get me started honey....he came in the house with greasy hands....IDK...I love stuff that, TOTAL MALE! 


I will to this day go watch him change a tire...etc....I sit there and lust and lust


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## MSP

FizzBomb said:


> decent sized ****


Really? You know, someone should start a thread about this.


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## Adeline

i am enjoying this thread... i just needed to say that. bahaha

I don't know how to add pics, so i'll just post some links that i found in searching images. I will try to find a variety in types of bearded men. 

swanky: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/192106740329197419/

military: http://www.guns.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/thumb.jpg

a bit more pretty boy: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/103793966383969328/

i could keep going if need be...


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## over20

MSP said:


> Really? You know, someone should start a thread about this.


We don't need a thread we just look at foot/hand size!!  :rofl:


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## FizzBomb

MSP said:


> Really? You know, someone should start a thread about this.


mmmm, maybe someone should. I haven't seen a d!ck size thread in oh, 2.5 days. Its about time for one. :lol:


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## Adeline

here's one for those that fancy tattoos.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/112590059407217103/


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## nuclearnightmare

Ok. Now I have a question based on a couple of these responses. So would a more modern equivalent of 'guy fixing car' be 'guy fixing computer'?
.......you know say your husband knows so much about computers that he need not take it to Best Buy when the hard drive is too infected or it is running way too slow - because he can just take care of everything himself. See the parallel? Anyone see that as a turn on too?


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## over20

Yes, I think it is the female turn on that your man can fix what is broken!


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## FizzBomb

Adeline said:


> i am enjoying this thread... i just needed to say that. bahaha
> 
> I don't know how to add pics, so i'll just post some links that i found in searching images. I will try to find a variety in types of bearded men.
> 
> swanky: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/192106740329197419/
> 
> military: http://www.guns.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/thumb.jpg
> 
> a bit more pretty boy: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/103793966383969328/
> 
> i could keep going if need be...


Phew! Did it just suddenly get hot in here? :lol: Some of those guys are as sexy as all get out. I particularly like the blondes with the beards


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## over20

Cute Fizz, I prefer dark eyes and dark hair....but I am blonde maybe that's why...LOL


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## Adeline

see. there is a bearded man for everyone.


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## over20

Maybe we should start a beard thread!!!


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## FizzBomb

nuclearnightmare said:


> Ok. Now I have a question based on a couple of these responses. So would a more modern equivalent of 'guy fixing car' be 'guy fixing computer'?
> .......you know say your husband knows so much about computers that he need not take it to Best Buy when the hard drive is too infected or it is running way too slow - because he can just take care of everything himself. See the parallel? Anyone see that as a turn on too?


Definitely. In a sexy nerdy way. Still hot. As long as I get a chance to steam up his black thick rimmed glasses when he's finished fixing the computer.


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## kilgore

over20 said:


> We don't need a thread we just look at foot/hand size!!  :rofl:


huh?


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## soccermom2three

FizzBomb said:


> The rugged outdoorsy type is definitely a turn on for me - minus the beard. :smthumbup:


This is what I like too. I'm not into beards so much. Scruff once in a while is fine.



> Ok. Now I have a question based on a couple of these responses. So would a more modern equivalent of 'guy fixing car' be 'guy fixing computer'?


My husband can do both, fix a car and fix a computer. He's done both just in the past week.


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## kilgore

FizzBomb said:


> OoLaLa! That's mega sexy, over20. Can imagine he would have looked extra hot with his wet shirt sticking to his body. :smthumbup:


i should get better at fixing stuff, lol


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## over20

kilgore said:


> i should get better at fixing stuff, lol


 I am sure your wife would dig it Mr. K.


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## kilgore

over20 said:


> I am sure your wife would dig it Mr. K.


she would be surprised.


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## soccermom2three

jld, I think I get what you're saying in your OP. That kind of man that opens doors for a women including car doors, letting the women go first, that kind of stuff. I like that too. I'm a bit of a traditionalist that way.


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## over20

kilgore said:


> she would be surprised.


Never know until you try!


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## kilgore

over20 said:


> Never know until you try!


that's true. judging by you ladies, it would be a big hit - unless i broke everything


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## jld

soccermom2three said:


> jld, I think I get what you're saying in your OP. That kind of man that opens doors for a women including car doors, letting the women go first, that kind of stuff. I like that too. I'm a bit of a traditionalist that way.


Yeah. I really appreciate kindness. 

I did not know what that man looked like in that pickup tonight. I just knew that he did not have to stop and let me through, but he did, anyway. Good manners impress me.

To me, that is what marriage is all about: kindness and consideration. 

My husband is nice-looking, and he is certainly intelligent, but it is his kindness and respectfulness that makes me trust him. And trust is the foundation of marriage for me.

Thank you for your post, soccer.


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## delirium

I find intelligence, sense of humor, optimism, and kindness unbelievably attractive. Looks are further down the list.


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## jld

delirium said:


> I find intelligence, sense of humor, optimism, and kindness unbelievably attractive. Looks are further down the list.


I agree, delirium. I am not even sure how attracted I am by looks. But confidence, true confidence, is just such a draw.


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## FizzBomb

FizzBomb said:


> mmmm, maybe someone should. I haven't seen a d!ck size thread in oh, 2.5 days. Its about time for one. :lol:


Bloody hell, I take that back. Edit above to yesterday 2.57pm. D!ck Size thread going on now in sex in marriage section.


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## kilgore

FizzBomb said:


> Bloody hell, I take that back. Edit above to yesterday 2.57pm. D!ck Size thread going on now in sex in marriage section.


lol


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## over20

kilgore said:


> that's true. judging by you ladies, it would be a big hit - unless i broke everything


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Then you would really be a hit!!


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## over20

FizzBomb said:


> Bloody hell, I take that back. Edit above to yesterday 2.57pm. D!ck Size thread going on now in sex in marriage section.


Fizz...I like you!!!! You are fun, hun...


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## Anon Pink

I have told me girls their whole lives, marry a man with a full set of tools who knows how to use them, or make sure he's got enough money to pay someone to fix what's broken! Now the flip side to that was they had to know how to do the other home keeping things to compliment what their partner brings.

Well my oldest daughter is marrying a girl who has a bunch of tools and knows how to use them, can cook and sew, and is extremely artistic! She's got it made with her STBW!

As far as I'm concerned.... Strong hands, dashing smile, good teeth, bright eyes, sense of humor, patience and thinks I walk on water. Oops, that's my husband.


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## Omego

The "able to fix anything" is actually so true. Seems trivial but it's not. It's a major turn-on.


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## bABI

hey ladies, does it count when i put in a really good sweaty effort with the complete array of tools i've got, and end up leaving whatever i was trying to fix for worse?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland

soccermom2three said:


> jld, I think I get what you're saying in your OP. That kind of man that opens doors for a women including car doors, letting the women go first, that kind of stuff. I like that too. I'm a bit of a traditionalist that way.


Are there men out there that don't? Never dated or married a man that did not do these things as the everyday norm.


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## *LittleDeer*

I like men who don't need to be nagged. If I have to nag you, you are behaving like a child. Do what needs to be done, because you are an adult and it's the right thing to do. 

I like men who are tall, kind, not a pushover, but not selfish. I like men who have a hard **** and who don't watch porn.


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## JCD

FizzBomb said:


> How 'bout a pic of a huge **** and balls bouncing provocatively - even it up a bit to rival the pic of the huge bouncing breasts pic in the same thread over in the mens forum.


You know...you say this, but for the life of me, I don't recall young girls having posters up of guys on their wall in anywhere NEAR the number that guys put up posters of women.

Is this a function of parental disapproval, girls hiding their interest or girls just not being as 'turned on' by mere visuals alone?

Not meaning to derail the thread, I'm just curious. I recall my (much younger) sister having a poster of Legolas in her closet lo those many years back, but I can't think of an iconic phenomena such as Farah Fawcett's memetic poster or any of the images of Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page etc on the female front.

But I'm a guy, so maybe I didn't notice. The closest I can think of is James Dean in his iconic leather jacket smoking a cigarette.

Are there other examples?


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## Omego

bABI said:


> hey ladies, does it count when i put in a really good sweaty effort with the complete array of tools i've got, and end up leaving whatever i was trying to fix for worse?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:rofl: No! Fired.....!


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## Fenix

delirium said:


> I find intelligence, sense of humor, optimism, and kindness unbelievably attractive. Looks are further down the list.


Absolutely.

OK, more for my list:
Confident
Verbally skilled ie negotiation/debate in a respectful manner
I do not care about if they can physically fix things... at all. What I do care about is are they good problem solvers and strategic. This keys into the brains aspect.
I also agree with Little Deer...not a porn watcher.


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## bABI

Omego said:


> :rofl: No! Fired.....!


Omego so you're gonna let that hot bod go to waste?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink

JCD said:


> You know...you say this, but for the life of me, I don't recall young girls having posters up of guys on their wall in anywhere NEAR the number that guys put up posters of women.
> 
> Is this a function of parental disapproval, girls hiding their interest or girls just not being as 'turned on' by mere visuals alone?
> 
> Not meaning to derail the thread, I'm just curious. I recall my (much younger) sister having a poster of Legolas in her closet lo those many years back, but I can't think of an iconic phenomena such as Farah Fawcett's memetic poster or any of the images of Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page etc on the female front.
> 
> But I'm a guy, so maybe I didn't notice. The closest I can think of is James Dean in his iconic leather jacket smoking a cigarette.
> 
> Are there other examples?


Raised 3 daughters. Oldest put up posters of the spice girls...my first clue she was a lesbian.  My middle put up sports posters and a few motivational slogans related to sports. My youngest.... Edward and Jacob from Twilight, all over the freakin place! Plus pics and posters of One Direction everywhere else! Went to Medieval Times and one of the knights gave her his banner to wave...that is enshrined on her wall. Oh yea...she's gonna be trouble!


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## Rowan

JCD said:


> You know...you say this, but for the life of me, I don't recall young girls having posters up of guys on their wall in anywhere NEAR the number that guys put up posters of women.
> 
> Is this a function of parental disapproval, girls hiding their interest or girls just not being as 'turned on' by mere visuals alone?
> 
> Not meaning to derail the thread, I'm just curious. I recall my (much younger) sister having a poster of Legolas in her closet lo those many years back, but I can't think of an iconic phenomena such as Farah Fawcett's memetic poster or any of the images of Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page etc on the female front.
> 
> But I'm a guy, so maybe I didn't notice. The closest I can think of is James Dean in his iconic leather jacket smoking a cigarette.
> 
> Are there other examples?


My college roommate had a poster of George Strait on the wall of her bedroom. And I think I remember lot of girls having posters of various boy bands back in the 80's. But I'm not sure it's as universal as guys with pinups. I've never, personally, had a hot-guy poster or beefcake calendar up anywhere. Maybe that fantastic memory that my ex-husband so lamented made it so I just didn't need the hard-copy visual aid to bring up a detailed mental image of a hot guy.  

As for Legolas, well I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers, but I prefer Aragorn as played by Viggo Mortensen.


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## *LittleDeer*

JCD said:


> You know...you say this, but for the life of me, I don't recall young girls having posters up of guys on their wall in anywhere NEAR the number that guys put up posters of women.
> 
> Is this a function of parental disapproval, girls hiding their interest or girls just not being as 'turned on' by mere visuals alone?
> 
> Not meaning to derail the thread, I'm just curious. I recall my (much younger) sister having a poster of Legolas in her closet lo those many years back, but I can't think of an iconic phenomena such as Farah Fawcett's memetic poster or any of the images of Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page etc on the female front.
> 
> But I'm a guy, so maybe I didn't notice. The closest I can think of is James Dean in his iconic leather jacket smoking a cigarette.
> 
> Are there other examples?


I had loads of posters of men I thought were sexy when I was 16, but they weren't pornographic or even close to being so.


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## ScarletBegonias

My mother refused to let me put anything on my walls especially posters.I wasn't allowed to express interest in the opposite sex at all til I was 16. 

From what I understand though,it's pretty common and totally normal to put posters of the hot guy or hot girl from bands or movies on your walls as a teen.


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## EasyPartner

JCD said:


> You know...you say this, but for the life of me, I don't recall young girls having posters up of guys on their wall in anywhere NEAR the number that guys put up posters of women.
> 
> Is this a function of parental disapproval, girls hiding their interest or girls just not being as 'turned on' by mere visuals alone?
> 
> Not meaning to derail the thread, I'm just curious. I recall my (much younger) sister having a poster of Legolas in her closet lo those many years back, but I can't think of an iconic phenomena such as Farah Fawcett's memetic poster or any of the images of Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page etc on the female front.
> 
> But I'm a guy, so maybe I didn't notice. The closest I can think of is James Dean in his iconic leather jacket smoking a cigarette.
> 
> Are there other examples?


Yes. Lot's of posters of horses in girl's rooms.. 

Don't remember exactly what, but it has something to do with men and sexuality.


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## Devotee

I'm in the camp that places intelligence and a sense of humor at the very top of the list. Smart and funny is attractive and sexy. Add in a little shyness and that's ultra super sexy. Don't care for beards or find the outdoorsy type attractive at all. 

I personally have never linked attractiveness with an ability to fix things, but I suppose it does in some ways correlate with intelligence and problem solving. However I have known plenty of men that are great with a hammer and nails, or even, as suggested, great at fixing a computer, but I don't find them the least bit attractive. So it's all relative.


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## okeydokie

FizzBomb said:


> How 'bout a pic of a huge **** and balls bouncing provocatively - even it up a bit to rival the pic of the huge bouncing breasts pic in the same thread over in the mens forum.


Give me a minute to stretch


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## Lexigirl

A sense of humor, generosity of time and spirit. Most of all someone who adores me as much as I adore him.


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## karole

I like a man who means what he says and says what he means - just like my husband. A man of few words, doesn't give out compliments, etc. freely, but when he does, you know they are from his heart. Worries about everyone else before himself, helps anyone he can, but won't take crap from anybody.


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## ScarletBegonias

Mrs. John Adams said:


> As a married woman...I don't think i need to address the things about men I find attractive because I don't need to be looking at other men and evaluating them...besides...I would describe my husband. He is everything I want....and he is mine...and if he died...the last thing I would want to think about is dating...


That's what I was thinking when reading the OP. I typed it a couple times but ended up not submitting it.


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## *LittleDeer*

I really like sex. I have found some men to be all talk about their libido and prowess and not enough action. 
That just doesn't cut it for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD

*LittleDeer* said:


> I had loads of posters of men I thought were sexy when I was 16, but they weren't pornographic or even close to being so.


Yeah. This seems to be a major difference. Women on posters rarely have a square yard of fabric on them (unless it's fetish wear), but male posters always seem to be basically fully dressed.

I wonder if it's plausible deniability, romance being more important than pecs, clothes making the fantasy...all of the above, none of the above.

I recall seeing LOTS of horses in girls rooms...and kittens. Lots and lots of kittens.


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## ScarletBegonias

JCD said:


> Yeah. This seems to be a major difference. Women on posters rarely have a square yard of fabric on them (unless it's fetish wear), but male posters always seem to be basically fully dressed.


Reminds me of some shows on cable and movies that won't hesitate to do a full frontal on a woman but *gasp* heaven forbid they do a full frontal on a MAN! 

Don't get me wrong,I love seeing a beautiful woman naked but seriously,show me some dong if you're going to make me look at boobs and vag.


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## JCD

ScarletBegonias said:


> Reminds me of some shows on cable and movies that won't hesitate to do a full frontal on a woman but *gasp* heaven forbid they do a full frontal on a MAN!
> 
> Don't get me wrong,I love seeing a beautiful woman naked but seriously,show me some dong if you're going to make me look at boobs and vag.


Yeah. That seems mostly an American thing (Yes, I live here too). I believe Europe has a lot more male nudity, at least in comparison. Unfortunately, you won't see Jason Momoa's package anytime soon...but how could it possibly live up to the hype 

Vag? Honestly, outside of porn, all the shots I recall offhand seem to have some interesting camera angles or leg positioning to avoid showing vag. I am betting there is some 'threshold' where the cooter and the dingaling make a film closer to NC-17 or X. Not sure though.


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## Faithful Wife

I had nearly naked and very sexual posters of both guys and gals when I was age 12 and up. I also looked at any porn I got my hands on, but my mom wouldn't let me post it on my walls.


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## jb02157

I definitely hear you...only I am not happily married and always wanted to know what it would be like to be treated nicely by a woman. I'll never find out unless I get divorced.


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## Cosmos

_Initial Attraction:_
Height
Strongly built
Confident demeanour
Well-groomed
Nice eyes, teeth and hair (not bald/shaved)
Well-spoken

_Secondary Attraction:_
Intelligence
Communication
Integrity
Honesty
Loyalty
Humour


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## stormydays

over20 said:


> You know Fizz, you triggered a memory for me. Years ago hubs was working on the car with the hood open and it was raining. I remember looking out the window and saying to myself "Now that's a real man, and he's mine!!"


Don Draper fixes the sink.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy1CLW4RZcI

Not that Don Draper is the ideal man by any means, but your discussion made me think of this scene.


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## Faithful Wife

I liked your original post jld...but it made me wonder...are you not used to men or people in general being polite?

Being polite to me or even showing extraordinary care for me...does not necessarily make me "want" someone in a sexual or romantic way. Of course I want a partner who is that nice to me as well, but by itself, kindness does not generate desire in me. Too many people are kind to me for me to feel that way about all of them.


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## Cosmos

ScarletBegonias said:


> Reminds me of some shows on cable and movies that won't hesitate to do a full frontal on a woman but *gasp* heaven forbid they do a full frontal on a MAN!
> 
> Don't get me wrong,I love seeing a beautiful woman naked but seriously,show me some dong if you're going to make me look at boobs and vag.


:iagree: 

A while back we watched a series (Borgia) with lots of both male and female full frontal nudity, and for some reason felt far more at ease with it. I'll tell you something that surprised me, though; SO didn't seem all that comfortable with it!


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## jld

That is nice, FW, that so many people are kind to you. 

No, I do not really see great manners around me. Many cars were buzzing by before that man stopped to let me through. It is the kind of thing dh will do, too. Maybe that is why I noticed it?

I guess, for me, attraction starts in the mind, and in the heart. Kindness touches my heart. 

Are you familiar with Paul Krugman? I am not sure many people would find him physically attractive. But I love reading his work. And I think that when my mind engages, my body starts to, too.


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## Faithful Wife

jld...The area I live in is, for some reason, full of very polite and kind people, in general. We always hear this from out of town guests.

There is a culture here of general happiness and kindness.

Plus I have been blessed with many friends and family who are sincerely kind, so I get it on all sides.

There are many men and women allowing others to go first in line, saying "good morning" to a stranger, letting traffic go first.

We even have put in pedestrian crosswalks all over the city, and cars must stop if a person is waiting to walk...no matter what the traffic situation is. The pedestrian needs to wait and make sure the cars see them and stop before they start walking...but usually a simple smile from the pedestrian will alert the car driver that he or she needs to stop.

The crosswalks are another thing that make out of town guests go "wow, the cars STOP for pedestrians for nothing more than a smile!"

Having said that though, yes I require kindness in a partner as well.


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## Racer

The manly man thing is true. Gasoline, sweat and grease and my racing gear as I got home after a track day got my wife's motor purring usually.. But... the $$$ and time away leaving her with kids to achieve that image was something opposite. Damn if you do, damned if you don't.


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## DvlsAdvc8

kilgore said:


> that's true. judging by you ladies, it would be a big hit - unless i broke everything


Everything I ever learned how to fix, I learned by breaking the first one in my original attempt to fix. So I learn how to fix things in the process of fixing what I broke trying to fix what was broke. 

ie need to fix this machine -> find broken part, replace broken part -> machine breaks again when vibration causes bolt I put in place to back out -> learned the importance of locknuts, lock washers and Loctite -> put bolt back in place properly -> over torque bolt and snap off bolthead -> learned how to extract a bolt with no head -> learn importance of torque wrenches -> completely fubar the socket the bolt threads into -> learn how to drill and rethread it for another bolt.

Every time something new breaks I'm like "awww hells yeah... gonna learn like 5 new things and get some new tools to fix all the other stuff I break while trying to fix this!"


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## DvlsAdvc8

JCD said:


> You know...you say this, but for the life of me, I don't recall young girls having posters up of guys on their wall in anywhere NEAR the number that guys put up posters of women.


I'm a guy and I had zero posters of women. I had video game posters, car posters, jet posters, a couple fav athletes, a door length batman poster and lots of bands. No women. I think if I had women on my walls I might have spontaneously combusted as a teenager.

edit: oops... I forgot, I had a couple cheerleader calendars on occassion.


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## okeydokie

I had black light posters on my walls and playboys under my mattress


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## over20

stormydays said:


> Don Draper fixes the sink.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy1CLW4RZcI
> 
> Not that Don Draper is the ideal man by any means, but your discussion made me think of this scene.


Thanks stormydays!!! That was awesome


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## FizzBomb

okeydokie said:


> Give me a minute to stretch


:lol:


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## JCD

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I'm a guy and I had zero posters of women. I had video game posters, car posters, jet posters, a couple fav athletes, a door length batman poster and lots of bands. No women. I think if I had women on my walls I might have spontaneously combusted as a teenager.
> 
> edit: oops... I forgot, I had a couple cheerleader calendars on occassion.


Eh. My parents blew a SERIOUS gasket when they found a Sports Illustrated Swim Suit magazine in my room.

God forbid I would actually have a poster up...until I lived alone.

What that taught me was how to hide my contraband better, so I don't think the lesson took.


----------



## Omego

I wouldn't have been allowed to have anything even remotely sexual anywhere near the house. And certainly no posters of boys. 

Although I did find and watch my dad's porn videos when I was about 14.... he never found out about it.... he was hiding all that from my mom for sure!


----------



## always_alone

JCD said:


> You know...you say this, but for the life of me, I don't recall young girls having posters up of guys on their wall in anywhere NEAR the number that guys put up posters of women.


When I was in school, virtually every girl had pics of guys in her locker and on her walls at home. Every generation has its own faces. James Dean is way old school. In my day (uh oh revealing my age here), the favorites were Leif Garret and Shaun Cassidy. But there were others.

My friend's daughters were big into the Beatles -- but as they looked back in the 60s. And I haven't seen it myself, but I'm betting there were lockers and rooms full of Justin Bieber.

Hey, I never said the girls had good taste -just that they were into the pics too.


----------



## always_alone

ScarletBegonias said:


> Reminds me of some shows on cable and movies that won't hesitate to do a full frontal on a woman but *gasp* heaven forbid they do a full frontal on a MAN!


This is a total pet peeve of mine. I'm so sick of seeing male fantasy babes shaking their tits at every opportunity, while men are always presented modestly and respectfully.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

always_alone said:


> When I was in school, virtually every girl had pics of guys in her locker and on her walls at home. Every generation has its own faces. James Dean is way old school. In my day (uh oh revealing my age here), the favorites were Leif Garret and Shaun Cassidy. But there were others.
> 
> My friend's daughters were big into the Beatles -- but as they looked back in the 60s. And I haven't seen it myself, but I'm betting there were lockers and rooms full on Justin Bieber.
> 
> Hey, I never said the girls had good taste -just that they were into the pics too.


When I was a teenager, I became friends with this girl up the road from my grandparents.... the 1st time I walked into her room, it was a David Cassidy SHRINE ...I mean every inch of her 4 walls were littered with cut out pictures/ Posters/...of his face/ body/ Tv show... she had memorabilia out the rear end ... I never seen anything like it....this girl was OBSESSED....

Now I was like any other teen girl.... I had my crushes...boy crazy....generally long haired Rock stars... and some actors through the years...this has always BEEN... one would fade in my head and I'd find another & want to see all his movies or catch him on TV...soon Rock videos & VHS came on the scene, I was taping all my favorites.

I think witnessing this near Possessed friend live & breath this celebrity Icon... I remember entertaining how ridiculous this really was in my head...she would never meet this guy - how empty to throw all of her energy -not to mention money & life into something that is just paper on a wall... 

Pure fantasy on steroids ...

I have never purchased a Pin up poster to gaze upon....but my H had this one...


----------



## always_alone

What turns me on? Guys that *don't* objectify women. Guys that can see that strip clubs and porn aren't really very sexy given the realities behind the thumping music and tanning powder.

Guys that really realize that women aren't just playthings for their amusement to be used and discarded at will, and recognize their humanity.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

always_alone said:


> What turns me on? Guys that *don't* objectify women. Guys that can see that strip clubs and porn aren't really very sexy given the realities behind the thumping music and tanning powder.
> 
> Guys that really realize that women aren't just playthings for their amusement to be used and discarded at will, and recognize their humanity.


You'd like DH then. He actually got offended that I said I had fun on the few trips I had to some "upscale" strip clubs.  "How is that fun? Some random chick grinding her parts all over the place,the cheap perfume,the glitter?? I think those girls are disgusting."


----------



## JCD

always_alone said:


> This is a total pet peeve of mine. I'm so sick of seeing male fantasy babes shaking their tits at every opportunity, while men are always presented modestly and respectfully.


I can understand that...even if I am fully in support of women being allowed to shake whatever they want whenever they want.

Please don't mistake appreciating ONE aspect of femininity as males only appreciating ONLY that aspect of femininity.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

I've always suspected that the reason they don't show a guy's junk in sexually explicit shows is based on the thinking that most women don't care to see a guy's junk. They certainly find any excuse to show shoulders/arms/abs though.

Game of Thrones shocked me when they actually have shown full frontal male nudity - its so rare. Funny thing though, when they've done so, its always some nobody supporting character, and it seems to always be the gay ones. lol

I wonder if movies/television studios have determined from focus groups that women don't really care to see, but gay men do. The most they show of the straight characters is butt and pubes.

Maybe focus groups have determined that showing junk costs them with the straight male audience? Dunno. Its not something that bothers me.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

ugh who are these people talking to?? If you're going to take my favorite shows,sex them up and make me look at full frontal chicks then you better show me dongs too.

You know why I loved Oz so much,aside from the interesting stories and fantastic acting? Dongs. Hardly a breast or a vag mound in sight on that show. All dongs All the time. 

And ya know what? My straight DH watched it with me and *shock* he thought it was a great show!


----------



## always_alone

ScarletBegonias said:


> You'd like DH then. He actually got offended that I said I had fun on the few trips I had to some "upscale" strip clubs.  "How is that fun? Some random chick grinding her parts all over the place,the cheap perfume,the glitter?? I think those girls are disgusting."


Except I don't really think the girls are disgusting. Just sad.

It's kind of like going to a casino. It's all loud and glittery, and supposed to be fun, but the air is heavy with unspoken desperation.

To find that sexy must, to my mind, require that you be divorced from your own humanity.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

always_alone said:


> Except I don't really think the girls are disgusting. Just sad.
> 
> It's kind of like going to a casino. It's all loud and glittery, and supposed to be fun, but the air is heavy with unspoken desperation.
> 
> To find that sexy must, to my mind, require that you be divorced from your own humanity.


Eh well then you wouldn't like Dh.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I've always suspected that the reason they don't show a guy's junk in sexually explicit shows is based on the thinking that most women don't care to see a guy's junk.


It actually has more to do with the ratings and archaic notions of censor boards than anything else. Perfectly acceptable to objectify women all over the place -- but man bits are too sexual for our delicate sensibilities.

The movie that pissed me off the most was "The Full Monty". The whole bloody movie was supposed to be about guys being daring and revealing all in a strip show, and even at the supposed full frontal end, the men were modestly hidden by the camera angle.

There is such a double standard about this, and women are used constantly to cater to male titillation, and men of course just expect that women keep catering to it. ****ing annoying, IMHO.


----------



## always_alone

JCD said:


> Please don't mistake appreciating ONE aspect of femininity as males only appreciating ONLY that aspect of femininity.


Well, the impression I get around here is that it is the only aspect that most men care about most of the time.

That and being submissive and agreeable to whatever men want from them.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> To find that sexy must, to my mind, require that you be divorced from your own humanity.


I don't find strip clubs sexy. I find the party-out, wild atmosphere fun - the specific character of which I've only ever found in strip clubs. Every time I've ever gone its been with a group, and most often a mixed gender group.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I think they don't show dongs because a flaccid one isn't necessarily that attractive on camera.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> It actually has more to do with the ratings and archaic notions of censor boards than anything else. Perfectly acceptable to objectify women all over the place -- but man bits are too sexual for our delicate sensibilities.
> 
> The movie that pissed me off the most was "The Full Monty". The whole bloody movie was supposed to be about guys being daring and revealing all in a strip show, and even at the supposed full frontal end, the men were modestly hidden by the camera angle.
> 
> There is such a double standard about this, and women are used constantly to cater to male titillation, and men of course just expect that women keep catering to it. ****ing annoying, IMHO.


Hey, if you want to see dongs I have no objection to it. I have no double standard. Censor boards don't keep HBO from showing them... there are a few here and there. I suspect however, that showing them wouldn't do anything to draw a female audience in any margin above the basic story merit of the show. I think mystery means more to women than it does to men. When you blatantly see macho Hugh Jackmon has an unimpressive junk... does that take a bit away from his mystique? I read an article a long time ago about how women were more attracted to pictures of fully dressed men than shirtless or naked men... think there's any truth to that? The naked men actually had the lowest ratings.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> I think they don't show dongs because a flaccid one isn't necessarily that attractive on camera.


Are erect ones? I'm not sure protruding bits are anymore attractive than dangly bits. haha

It strikes me as a bit TMI. Ever notice all the female nudity depicted is of women with small, concealed labia? Gonna give regular women with larger labia a complex, and I don't think guys care either way. I think its just that those nitty gritty details look too porn-ish for a high quality production. There's a certain elegance and artistic quality to a nude female that I'm not sure is there for men with our odd-ish dangly details. You swing both ways... what do you think?


----------



## Faithful Wife

Didn't you read the What Women Want book? About how an erect peen, even just by itself, was the one thing that *all* women with the thingy shoved up their wahoo responded to?

So in other words...yes an erect peen is attractive (to men and women both). But I think that an erect peen is still "the line" between porn and R rated film/TV, so it just isn't allowed at all.

I wouldn't be complaining.

Of course, if they show one, it is going to be a gorgeous one so...yep, no complaints.


----------



## Omego

always_alone said:


> It actually has more to do with the ratings and archaic notions of censor boards than anything else. Perfectly acceptable to objectify women all over the place -- but man bits are too sexual for our delicate sensibilities.


I think its simpler than this. The man bits are perceived as aggressive so they hide them (an image of an erect thingy is not a neutral image). Men can be objectified in different ways (showing rippling muscles in tank tops, whatever).


----------



## JCD

always_alone said:


> Except I don't really think the girls are disgusting. Just sad.
> 
> It's kind of like going to a casino. It's all loud and glittery, and supposed to be fun, but the air is heavy with unspoken desperation.
> 
> To find that sexy must, to my mind, require that you be divorced from your own humanity.


I am surprised we agree on something.

If I am in a strip club or a bar with working girls, I don't mind looking at them. They are, after all, doing all they can to be visually appealing.

But in the back of my mind is never lost the fact that they really don't WANT to be there or particularly be with me divorced from the contents of my wallet. So there is no 'magic' there.

Generally I pity them more than anything. At least those without other options. The uneducated. The unskilled. That girl from Duke who seemed to have her life in place except she did porn for greed...not so much sympathy.


----------



## JCD

always_alone said:


> Well, the impression I get around here is that it is the only aspect that most men care about most of the time.
> 
> That and being submissive and agreeable to whatever men want from them.


Ha. No. You are quite incorrect. It is the only aspect with is LEGITIMATELY, FREELY and (arguably) MORALLY available from every person to every person: the quality of their appearance.

I have no call on a woman's time. I am not owed her personality. I may not have a week to delve into her soul and find out the funny little quirks in her mental workings. We aren't likely to be BFFs. I can take pleasure in all these things...but where is the time? How does one impinge upon another person like that?

But, without payment or direct inducement, women dress up. Like a family who puts out flowers for the joy and beautification of the world, these women dress nicely or sexy or whatever.

And it brings other men and I joy. I am not TAKING anything from her except the pleasure of her appearance and that only with a glance.

Now, there are some (you) who find this offensive and objectifying but that is your opinion. I don't make you dress that way. I don't make them dress that way. It is THEIR CHOICE. And, if they get a beneficial reaction from their mode of dress, well...bully for them!

For some reason, you have a problem with people who _do_ dress that way and those men who take pleasure from their appearance.

Shrug. You make, in many cases, more of this than actually is there.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> Didn't you read the What Women Want book? About how an erect peen, even just by itself, was the one thing that *all* women with the thingy shoved up their wahoo responded to?


Yes, yet the most adamant thing you hear from women is how much they hate receiving d!ck pics/texts. Somewhat contradictory, no?

And as the book says, what their wahoo responded to wasn't very well connected to what their mind thought. The mind picks the channel, not the wahoo.


----------



## always_alone

JCD said:


> Shrug. You make, in many cases, more of this than actually is there.


Maybe, but what I object to is not women dressing up or men thinking that they look attractive when they do so.

What I object to is the attitude that women are largely there for sexual pleasure, and need not be respected. Just use them up as one sees fit, and carry on about your day.

This is not about getting to know the intricacies of an individual or anything deep at all. It can be as simple as talking to a person instead of a pair of tits, or realizing that the person you've judged to be only good for a quick **** is actually a person with actual feelings.

Yet, what I see around here is a ton of judging women to be good for the visual or the quick ****, but mostly not worth treating as real people.


----------



## Faithful Wife

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Yes, yet the most adamant thing you hear from women is how much they hate receiving d!ck pics/texts. Somewhat contradictory, no?
> 
> And as the book says, what their wahoo responded to wasn't very well connected to what their mind thought. The mind picks the channel, not the wahoo.


So you really think dic pics on a phone are equivalent to a wonderful erection shot in a movie? Really? Do you not recall the sitch from the book and that the pics they were shown were not going to be something from a greasy dude on an online dating site? Really?

I don't really know why you seem to have to "debate" everything.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Yes, yet the most adamant thing you hear from women is how much they hate receiving d!ck pics/texts. Somewhat contradictory, no?
> 
> And as the book says, what their wahoo responded to wasn't very well connected to what their mind thought. The mind picks the channel, not the wahoo.


Unsolicited **** pics were uncool to me when I was dating. Of course I still ogled the pics but it made me think higher of the man if he waited til I asked to see his fabulous junk. 

ETA Unsolicited d*ck pics from DH are always amazing and always welcome LOL


----------



## always_alone

I've been flashed, and I've had guys drive up beside me or stand near me while masturbating, but I've never been sent a **** pic as introduction.

My sense is that it would give me roughly the same feeling, though. 

I suspect the male response to a female sending pics like that would be quite different?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> So you really think dic pics on a phone are equivalent to a wonderful erection shot in a movie? Really? Do you not recall the sitch from the book and that the pics they were shown were not going to be something from a greasy dude on an online dating site? Really?
> 
> I don't really know why you seem to have to "debate" everything.


I don't really know why you see everything I say as a debate.

Everything I'm asking is totally legitimate. Guys certainly don't have qualms about some chick on a dating site sending them nude selfies. Hell, the real chick sending nudes beats the nude chicks in GoT hands down in terms of erotic value.

So you're saying, women want to see the dong, but only if its professionally lit and with narrative context?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> I suspect the male response to a female sending pics like that would be quite different?


Yep, done as an introduction... we would say "spammer/scammer/fake".


----------



## ScarletBegonias

always_alone said:


> I've been flashed, and I've had guys drive up beside me or stand near me while masturbating


Holy cow! Where the heck do you live?! Feeling pretty lucky over here that I've never been exposed to that sort of thing!


----------



## pidge70

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Yes, yet the most adamant thing you hear from women is how much they hate receiving d!ck pics/texts. Somewhat contradictory, no?
> 
> And as the book says, what their wahoo responded to wasn't very well connected to what their mind thought. The mind picks the channel, not the wahoo.


I am seriously laughing out loud in front of my comp due to the repeated use of the word....wahoo...........:rofl:


----------



## pidge70

always_alone said:


> I've been flashed, and I've had guys drive up beside me or stand near me while masturbating, but I've never been sent a **** pic as introduction.


Dafuq?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

I wonder, if you show erections... does that mean your production is gonna need fluffers? Shooting a scene can take quite a while, and unlike porn, they're not actually having sex.

I suspect this is a major reason we almost never see erections.


----------



## TiggyBlue

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I wonder, if you show erections... does that mean your production is gonna need fluffers? Shooting a scene can take quite a while, and unlike porn, they're not actually having sex.
> 
> I suspect this is a major reason we almost never see erections.


Or viagra


----------



## southern wife

Adeline said:


> rugged! that's the word I was looking for.
> 
> And how do you put pictures on here? I bet I could change your mind about beards with a few different pictures! There are certain type of men that will make you swoon whilst being bearded. Maybe I can convert you


Rugged southern gentleman would be attractive.


----------



## always_alone

ScarletBegonias said:


> Holy cow! Where the heck do you live?! Feeling pretty lucky over here that I've never been exposed to that sort of thing!


Really? I'd say it must be life in the big city, but truth is, I've experienced sh!t like this all over the world. 

Not lately. But tons when I was younger. 

I'm glad to know that it's just me, though, and not really every woman's experience. Well, kinda glad, if you know what I mean.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Nothing like that has happened to me always...but I live in a not-so-big city.


----------



## always_alone

OMG, it *is* me. Yikes!

Okay, well now y'all know why I'm so touchy on the subject of objectification. Seems I'm a magnet for it. (Or rather was. I'm too old to be of any fun to shock now)


----------



## Dollystanford

DVLS is definitely a master debator


----------



## pidge70

Dollystanford said:


> DVLS is definitely a master debator


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ScarletBegonias

always_alone said:


> OMG, it *is* me. Yikes!
> 
> Okay, well now y'all know why I'm so touchy on the subject of objectification. Seems I'm a magnet for it. (Or rather was. I'm too old to be of any fun to shock now)


I'm fairly sure I'd be edgy if this kind of thing was happening to me IRL. I'd just be waiting for d**ks to pop out around every corner. Maybe they think "she looks super nice and really pleasant...maybe she'll wanna see my dong" 

I already know I'm plagued with "resting b*tch face" so while I get the occasional pervy sexual behavior aimed at me,I look like I'd cut off a dong if one was randomly whipped out at me.


----------



## Entropy3000

pidge70 said:


> I am seriously laughing out loud in front of my comp due to the repeated use of the word....wahoo...........:rofl:


The proper term is hoo-ha. The hyphen matters.


----------



## always_alone

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'm fairly sure I'd be edgy if this kind of thing was happening to me IRL. I'd just be waiting for d**ks to pop out around every corner. Maybe they think "she looks super nice and really pleasant...maybe she'll wanna see my dong"
> 
> I already know I'm plagued with "resting b*tch face" so while I get the occasional pervy sexual behavior aimed at me,I look like I'd cut off a dong if one was randomly whipped out at me.


No, I don't think so --I've never been accused of being super nice and pleasant, and I'm quite sure I don't look it.

These days I have a force field that can knock an unwanted advance back at 20 yards, but it took a while to perfect that. In those days, well, tbh, I don't know what they thought. Maybe I looked crazy enough to be into it?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Dollystanford said:


> DVLS is definitely a master debator


I prefer cunning linguist.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd just be waiting for d**ks to pop out around every corner.


Quoted for awesomeness. I would so add this to my signature line if not for the decidedly gay implications of my doing so. :rofl:


----------



## SimplyAmorous

jld said:


> *What do you personally find attractive in a man? What makes a man stand out to you?*
> 
> Tonight, I had to run to the store with one of my kids. It was a busy time, and I was waiting to turn left in the grocery parking lot. Of course the cars were speeding through, quick as they could, but one man in a small pickup stopped and let me turn left.
> 
> He didn't have to do it.
> 
> He did it anyway.
> 
> *I am a happily married woman. But if my husband died, and I were thinking about dating again, that is the kind of man I would look twice at. I don't even know what he looks like. But I felt his kindness, and I find that very attractive.*


The thought of my H dying is the most soul crushing thing I could ever walk through.... we want to be in our Rocking chairs together -I know we'll be laughing about some of the things we've done...

Gotta share this crazy moment..(only for TAM)...a couple days ago...his day off.... I decided to dress up dominatrix style (it's been awhile)....tall black boots/ black gloves up my arms..







....just needed the whip.....we were in the dining room -a little photo shoot..... he was raising his hand to spank me.. I was on all fours...(seriously)

The dog starts barking & barking...irritating..like WTF.... had to look out there and darn, our Gazebo blew completely over!!...would have been out in the field if we didn't have it staked down in 2 places...

So we are like SH**..... we ran out there -me dressed like this.. it's pouring rain...we don't have any neighbors at all..so it's cool.. but geez...the interruptions we have!!...had to wrestle it to get it back up ....it's all bent up... well we saved our Gazebo... from being blown completely away... then went & had some FUN..
I need a Guy who I can LAUGH with....one whose Open and affectionate...my best friend....







... the type we can take walks hand in hand & he's in the moment.... gets excited with my coming on TO HIM....I enjoy that role... I'll keep him plenty happy if He does me.. otherwise I wouldn't be much fun to live with... I need what I need.. ya know.. 

I do go for those Gentleman type ..so long as they have some "DIRTY" in them too, and can let loose... with no restrictions to what we can experience together, or subjects too taboo... the Intellectual foreplay is such an important part of a couple's chemistry too.


----------



## Lyris

I found a photo of my husband at 18 yesterday. Hotness personified *fans self*. Glad I had the good sense to lock that sh*t down early.

To summarise; dark, intense, sculpted face, full lips, focused and a little bit intimidating. And abs you could use as a washboard.


----------



## over20

SimplyAmorous said:


> The thought of my H dying is the most soul crushing thing I could ever walk through.... we want to be in our Rocking chairs together -I know we'll be laughing about some of the things we've done...
> 
> Gotta share this crazy moment..(only for TAM)...a couple days ago...his day off.... I decided to dress up dominatrix type (it's been awhile)....tall black boots/ black gloves up my arms..
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ....just needed the whip.....we were in the dining room posing for pics... he was acting like he was going to spank me.. I was on all fours...(seriously)
> 
> The dog starts barking & barking...irritating..like WTF.... had to look out there and darn, our Gazebo blew completely over!!...would have been out in the field if we didn't have it staked down in 2 places...
> 
> So we are like SH**..... we ran out there -me dressed like this.. it's pouring rain...we don't have any neighbors at all..so it's cool.. but geez...the interruptions we have!!...had to wrestle it to get it back up ....it's all bent up... well we saved our Gazebo... from being blown completely away... then went & had some FUN..
> I need a Guy who I can LAUGH with....one whose Open and affectionate...my best friend....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ... the type we can take walks hand in hand & he's in the moment.... gets excited with my coming on TO HIM....I enjoy that role... I'll keep him plenty happy if He does me.. otherwise I wouldn't be much fun to live with... I need what I need.. ya know..
> 
> I do go for those Gentleman type ..so long as they have some "DIRTY" in them too, and can let loose... with no restrictions to what we can experience together, or subjects too taboo... the Intellectual foreplay is such an important part of a couple's chemistry too.


I love your story SA!!! Laughter is so important!!!  It reminded me of when our kids were little and hubs and I would go into the "bedroom to talk"....after we were in there a while they would slide us notes under the door to communicate with us.. :rofl::rofl:


----------



## jld

Oh, SA, I hear you. Losing dh would be crushing. But we have kids, and I would have to go on. And many things would change, because I would have to get a job.

But I don't really like to think about all that. 

I hear you on having someone to laugh with. If you can't have fun together, what's the point?

When I met dh, I was a pretty damaged young woman. I had been in counseling for a few years, because of all the dysfunction in my family. But there is such a difference between counseling once a week for an hour, and living with someone who truly loves you and provides stability in your life. 

And he listened to me for hours a day! For months! 

After about 3 months, I think he made the commitment to me in his heart. You don't make that right away, I don't think, even if you think you do. It takes a little time.

After 3 months, he had probably seen the worst of me. He knew how fragile I was. And he was willing to take on that responsibility. It was pretty clear 50/50 was not where we were headed. I just needed more than that, and he was willing and able to give it.

And now he is on TAM with me! Hooray! 

I love to talk to him about various topics that come up here. And I am so glad we are getting to know people together. We are both being exposed to things we had not thought about before.

Even if our husbands have different characters, SA, they are both family men. And they certainly have adoring wives. 

I am smiling thinking of you running out to save that gazebo in your dominatrice outfit. Lololol!


----------



## FizzBomb

SimplyAmorous said:


> I do go for those Gentleman type ..so long as they have some "DIRTY" in them too, and can let loose... with no restrictions to what we can experience together, or subjects too taboo... the Intellectual foreplay is such an important part of a couple's chemistry too.


The 'Dirty Gentleman' - sounds like a new type. I like :smthumbup: Very sexy indeed.

Sounds like the male equivalent of Lady Outside/Minx in the Bedroom.


----------



## Adeline

all this d*ck flashing talk is totally reminding me of an episode of The Office. When there was a flasher in the parking lot. Poor Phyllis.

But in real life it happened to my friend. On a bus. He smiled at her and lifted his shirt and proceeded to show her he was masturbating. She got up and moved. I will never ride a bus because of this. NEVER.


----------



## over20

Adeline said:


> all this d*ck flashing talk is totally reminding me of an episode of The Office. When there was a flasher in the parking lot. Poor Phyllis.
> 
> But in real life it happened to my friend. On a bus. He smiled at her and lifted his shirt and proceeded to show her he was masturbating. She got up and moved. I will never ride a bus because of this. NEVER.


Gotta love the office!! :rofl::rofl:


----------



## FizzBomb

stormydays said:


> Don Draper fixes the sink.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy1CLW4RZcI
> 
> Not that Don Draper is the ideal man by any means, but your discussion made me think of this scene.


:toast: watching that scene gave me the cold shivers, woo!

I rest my case.


----------



## over20

He should have taken off his shirt though....I mean as to not get it all wet and sweaty.....

:rofl::rofl:


----------



## FizzBomb

Lyris said:


> I found a photo of my husband at 18 yesterday. Hotness personified *fans self*. Glad I had the good sense to lock that sh*t down early.
> 
> To summarise; dark, intense, sculpted face, full lips, focused and a little bit intimidating. And abs you could use as a washboard.


Very nice.
I found a pic of my hubs at about 21 and all I saw was a big blonde '80's mullet . Every man and his dog had one back then - to their detriment. Nary a good one have I seen.


----------



## FizzBomb

over20 said:


> He should have taken off his shirt though....I mean as to not get it all wet and sweaty.....
> 
> :rofl::rofl:


Couldn't agree with you more, Over20. :smthumbup: was thinking the same thing - 'dang baby, you'd look even hotter without your shirt.'

What is it about men and fixing things?


----------



## over20

Girl...I am so with you on that....OK we need to start breaking down things in our home so we can see our hot hubs in action!! :smthumbup: :rofl:

Wellll my dishwasher is on the fritz!! :lol:


----------



## JCD

always_alone said:


> Maybe, but what I object to is not women dressing up or men thinking that they look attractive when they do so.
> 
> What I object to is the attitude that women are largely there for sexual pleasure, and need not be respected. Just use them up as one sees fit, and carry on about your day.
> 
> This is not about getting to know the intricacies of an individual or anything deep at all. It can be as simple as talking to a person instead of a pair of tits, or realizing that the person you've judged to be only good for a quick **** is actually a person with actual feelings.
> 
> Yet, what I see around here is a ton of judging women to be good for the visual or the quick ****, but mostly not worth treating as real people.



Blink blink.

Who the hell said that women didn't need to be respected? And might I add...what does 'here' have to do with that attitude? 

Offhand I can't remember ANYONE saying that women were only sex objects and not worthy of respect. 'here' Can you cite examples? And I mean ones which an objective person like SB would agree was over the line and not the hypersensitive (though, to be fair, if I constantly had d*cks shown to me, I'd be leery too..though that doesn't sound like it's most women's experience)

Additionally, let's delve into your excoriation of men a little bit. A woman who makes a gif of her bouncing up and down with her breasts wobbling is not particularly interested in me learning about her personhood. She is selling me sex fantasy. She is offering me A product. My accepting that product is not evil or a denial that there is more to them as a human being.

In the same sense, if I am in a mall and I see a beautiful woman in a blue scoop necked leotard, I am not going to think "Gosh...I wonder if she shares my abiding love of Proust..." IF I form a relationship with her beyond mere visual, than I have 'more use for her' beyond sex object...but until then, she is a bit of eyecandy. This doesn't make her a rape target. It's a pretty girl. That's it. That I don't have some abiding need to expand upon that ethereal relationship does not make me a bad person.

But I'm SURE when the women here see Jason Momoa's chiseled chest and abs, they are considering his emotional needs, wondering at his love of children and small animals, and considering the varied intellectual conversations they could potentially share together and are not just going


----------



## FizzBomb

over20 said:


> Girl...I am so with you on that....OK we need to start breaking down things in our home so we can see our hot hubs in action!! :smthumbup: :rofl:
> 
> Wellll my dishwasher is on the fritz!! :lol:


You can stand next to hubs while he's fixing the d/washer, in your blue scooped necked leotard a-lah JCD and hand him the tools.


----------



## FrenchFry

Actually, I did wonder all of those things, found out he was dumb as a box of rocks and my lady-boner for him has never been the same.



What do I like in dudes? I just found the most touching note from my husband--I like his heart a lot. I like_ like _it. He's tall and cute and funny, but he has a soul of gold. That **** is awesome.


----------



## FizzBomb

jld said:


> Oh, SA, I hear you. Losing dh would be crushing. But we have kids, and I would have to go on. And many things would change, because I would have to get a job.
> 
> But I don't really like to think about all that.
> 
> I hear you on having someone to laugh with. If you can't have fun together, what's the point?
> 
> When I met dh, I was a pretty damaged young woman. I had been in counseling for a few years, because of all the dysfunction in my family. But there is such a difference between counseling once a week for an hour, and living with someone who truly loves you and provides stability in your life.
> 
> And he listened to me for hours a day! For months!
> 
> After about 3 months, I think he made the commitment to me in his heart. You don't make that right away, I don't think, even if you think you do. It takes a little time.
> 
> After 3 months, he had probably seen the worst of me. He knew how fragile I was. And he was willing to take on that responsibility. It was pretty clear 50/50 was not where we were headed. I just needed more than that, and he was willing and able to give it.
> 
> And now he is on TAM with me! Hooray!
> 
> I love to talk to him about various topics that come up here. And I am so glad we are getting to know people together. We are both being exposed to things we had not thought about before.
> 
> Even if our husbands have different characters, SA, they are both family men. And they certainly have adoring wives.
> 
> I am smiling thinking of you running out to save that gazebo in your dominatrice outfit. Lololol!


jld, that's cool that your husband is on TAM as well. It's been really interesting hearing everyone's different viewpoints on what they like in a man.


----------



## JCD

FizzBomb said:


> You can stand next to hubs while he's fixing the d/washer, in your blue scooped necked leotard a-lah JCD and hand him the tools.


Note to self: buy wife scoop necked leotard and get plumbing tools.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

FizzBomb said:


> The 'Dirty Gentleman' - sounds like a new type. I like :smthumbup: Very sexy indeed.
> 
> Sounds like the male equivalent of Lady Outside/Minx in the Bedroom.


Yes..."a Lady in the street and a freak in the sheets" ....turning that around....."I need a Prince in the streets and a Beast in the sheets".. 










My Husband is very much a Gentleman... Faithful wife captured this in a post a while back....explaining how she has met men who , you would never know they were "checking you out"... they are that discreet ...and when they are with their woman, its ALL ABOUT HER ... they take the time to get to know you.... they are not about getting LAID in the 1st so many dates..you feel their Gentleness, their loving on you...and know you can rest in their arms....trust flourishes from this.

He is like any other guy (likes to look at naked women)... but well contained...I'd have to say he is more Romantic over Erotic... but it's Ok... I bring the Erotic ! ...and yeah.. Love getting that rise out of him....he has his dirty moments.... so we're good!

I need to get me a WHIP on Ebay....then we'll get me standing there with the Whip & he's on all four's...with a look of Pain !... Oh the FUN !


----------



## SimplyAmorous

over20 said:


> I love your story SA!!! Laughter is so important!!!  It reminded me of when our kids were little and hubs and I would go into the "bedroom to talk"....after we were in there a while they would slide us notes under the door to communicate with us.. :rofl::rofl:


That's cute..If I had a sign to hang on our door, I would... We've had them slip notes under the door too !  

4th son... one morning...he just wouldn't leave us alone... he wanted a Puppy -he was on the net looking at Dog profiles...he printed out 2 ... begging us to look at ...NOW.....slipping them under the door..... We just wanted our alone time .... darn it !!!

Yet we were laughing at his persistence...he was so anxious!!... so what happened that day.. we drove 2 hrs away to buy a Golden Lab Puppy.


----------



## jld

Beautiful dog, SA! And he looks so kind and friendly--what a great match for your family!

I love that saying, "Know when to hold her hand, and when to pull her hair." 

Honestly, though, I don't like having my hair pulled. Dh does it anyway, 'cause he likes it, I guess. 

Oh, the stories we could all tell, of the things our husbands do to us even when we don't necessarily like it, and the effects it all has on us . . .


----------



## SimplyAmorous

jld said:


> When I met dh, I was a pretty damaged young woman. I had been in counseling for a few years, because of all the dysfunction in my family. But there is such a difference between counseling once a week for an hour, and living with someone who truly loves you and provides stability in your life.
> 
> And he listened to me for hours a day! For months!
> 
> *After about 3 months, I think he made the commitment to me in his heart. You don't make that right away, I don't think, even if you think you do.* * It takes a little time.*


 I surely agree there... too many speak of commitment way too fast...only to retract their words ....that building of trust just took it's 1st falling... This happened to a GF of mine, she kept calling me saying.... "But he told me he loved me...why did he do that!"...she kept saying this over and over ....she was still trying to hold on to it.. he spoke too soon... she was angry & devastated. 



> After 3 months, he had probably seen the worst of me. He knew how fragile I was. And he was willing to take on that responsibility. * It was pretty clear 50/50 was not where we were headed. I just needed more than that, and he was willing and able to give it.*
> 
> *And now he is on TAM with me! Hooray! *


 Some may say these were not good beginnings.. but ya know.. is life ever perfect...sometimes we may just REALLY NEED SOMEONE to help us find our way....he took that chance *on you*.. I remember you saying he prayed for yrs about meeting the right woman... He obviously has some kind of check in his spirit...He had found HER!

And he is a poster here now ... I love it ~ Really [email protected]#$ .... I want to read his posts ! With all your time apart, this is so extra special for you both.  

I've OFTEN felt and more so from being on this forum, reading the struggles of so many, that had I not met my H.when I did... but was met with this immature one -then another immature guy...had I let my guard down with the wrong type....it could have really HURT me in some ways...

....I had a harder shell when I met him.. to protect myself from Bad boys... he made it so easy to open up ..to see that sensitive side .... He was what I NEEDED too at the time... I know I fulfilled something in him too though, I do think it was 50/50 with us.. we were just better "together"... 



> Even if our husbands have different characters, SA, they are both family men. And they certainly have adoring wives.
> 
> *I am smiling thinking of you running out to save that gazebo in your dominatrice outfit. Lololol!*


 Yeah it would have been a sight if let's say the UPS man came down our driveway.... ha ha....H had to run to get some hefty zip ties to momentarily stake this back down, the wind was kinda fierce....I couldn't let go!....and well.. the outfit - it was kinda "see through" too!


----------



## SimplyAmorous

jld said:


> Beautiful dog, SA! And he looks so kind and friendly--what a great match for your family!
> 
> I love that saying, "Know when to hold her hand, and when to pull her hair."
> 
> Honestly, though, I don't like having my hair pulled. Dh does it anyway, 'cause he likes it, I guess.
> 
> Oh, the stories we could all tell, of the things our husbands do to us even when we don't necessarily like it, and the effects it all has on us . . .


I like mine pulled but my Gentleman is too gentle...you almost have to laugh about it... if I want him to spank me.. (good thing our kids aren't home when we do this)... I end up saying.. "Harder harder Baby, make it hurt!" "Give me a lashing!..... with the hair pulling... I've said "RIP IT OUT!"... 

He has a hard time being rough with me... Now the shoes on the other foot, I wouldn't have any trouble at all.. give me the whips and chains... I can deal out some pleasurable pain! .. I know he'd be joking (maybe half joking) for me to NOT hurt him...


----------



## jld

What is interesting to me about you, SA, is that even though you had troubles with your stepmom, and had to leave home right at 18, under some hurtful circumstances, is that you were still so strong, so stable. 

Your husband was supportive, no doubt, but you seemed to have had a lot of natural strength inside. It is like you were not scared inside, even though things were hard on the outside.


----------



## always_alone

JCD said:


> Offhand I can't remember ANYONE saying that women were only sex objects and not worthy of respect. 'here' Can you cite examples?


Only a few will *say* women shouldn't be respected (those that tell us that we shouldn't be listened to because we don't know what we want, that we aren't capable of rational thought, that we need men to lead us because we're just emotional and submissive,.etc); quite a few more will act in an utterly disrespectful way.


----------



## jld

SimplyAmorous said:


> I like mine pulled but my Gentleman is too gentle...you almost have to laugh about it... if I want him to spank me.. (good thing our kids aren't home when we do this)... I end up saying.. "Harder harder Baby, make it hurt!" "Give me a lashing!..... with the hair pulling... I've said "RIP IT OUT!"...
> 
> He has a hard time being rough with me... Now the shoes on the other foot, I wouldn't have any trouble at all.. give me the whips and chains... I can deal out some pleasurable pain! .. I know he'd be joking (maybe half joking) for me to NOT hurt him...


Lolol, SA. You might really be a domme! 

Do you remember a few days ago, when MEM posted something erotic in SIM, and you and AP and GI and maybe someone else (can't remember) really liked it?

SA, I was so scared by it! Just reading it was frightening to me!

Dh has to be careful how forceful he is, because I do genuinely get frightened. He has been too dominant for me a few times, and I just shut down emotionally. I comply, but there is a price, you know? And then he has to bring me back for me to feel secure.

We are all so different, even those of us who wear certain labels. Dh is not afraid to exert power when he thinks it is necessary, and while that has an overpowering effect on me, it can temporarily crush me emotionally, too.

I think dominant men have to be careful in how they use their power. They really have to know their women. They already have physical superiority, usually. Having that emotional power, too, is a great responsibility.


----------



## jld

I don't think you sound selfish at all, intheory. Why do you think so?

I am 5'4" and dh is 6'2". It is probably too great a difference, but oh well, lol. 

Sometimes I stand on a stool so I can be at his height.


----------



## JCD

always_alone said:


> Only a few will *say* women shouldn't be respected (those that tell us that we shouldn't be listened to because we don't know what we want, that we aren't capable of rational thought, that we need men to lead us because we're just emotional and submissive,.etc); quite a few more will act in an utterly disrespectful way.


You mean like looking at women twice? If that is your bar...and I'm sorry, but that is how you are portraying your bar, your definition is a bit off. 


That is a rather large chunk of the population. Maybe it _isn't _ a problem with 50% of the population...just saying...


----------



## always_alone

JCD said:


> You mean like looking at women twice? If that is your bar...and I'm sorry, but that is how you are portraying your bar, your definition is a bit off.


You are determined to interpret what I say in this way, no matter how many times I correct you. And, you are determined not to acknowledge the many ways that women are regularly disrespected. Perhaps because you see this disrespect as justified or enjoy it yourself?

Either way, it doesn't matter. You want to keep putting words in my mouth? Go ahead. But don't expect me to swallow them.


----------



## jld

Always alone, I would encourage you to have your own standards for men and to stick to them. There are men who respect women, genuinely respect them. Why settle for anything less than what you truly desire?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> You are determined to interpret what I say in this way, no matter how many times I correct you.


Hmm... where have I heard that before?


----------



## Dollystanford

I'm a simple beast at heart

Bald, muscles, tattoos, between 5ft 9 and 6ft 1, nice eyes and smile (dimples if possible please), thighs that could crack walnuts and an ass that won't quit

Also must have a job, be caring and sweet but also a bit naughty and reckless, think I am a goddess and stand by my side gazing adoringly at me, clever but not patronising, big tongue and know what to do with it


----------



## JCD

always_alone said:


> You are determined to interpret what I say in this way, no matter how many times I correct you. And, you are determined not to acknowledge the many ways that women are regularly disrespected. Perhaps because you see this disrespect as justified or enjoy it yourself?
> 
> Either way, it doesn't matter. You want to keep putting words in my mouth? Go ahead. But don't expect me to swallow them.


You don't leave a lot of room for interpretation. In your post in 'Man for a Day' you essentially accused men of simply looking at women as a collection of body parts...and demurred joining their unworthy ranks.

You sided with another woman who, complaining about her husband GLANCING twice at scantily clad public women, as a disrespectful cur who doesn't deserve a decent woman. When told by most men that MOST men are that way (and the ones who didn't, FOUGHT doing it) you essentially lamented that there were no good men.

So exactly how am I 'misinterpreting'? If you don't like the portrait I am holding up, don't blame me. Blame the woman who painted the picture. That perhaps I am holding it in less than flattering light doesn't change the picture. The lines are still there.


----------



## always_alone

JCD said:


> You don't leave a lot of room for interpretation. In your post in 'Man for a Day' you essentially accused men of simply looking at women as a collection of body parts...and demurred joining their unworthy ranks.


I said this in direct response to a man who explicitly said that being a man was wanting pu$$y all the time, and indirect response to one who said he wasn't capable of respecting women until he masturbated.

Both of those sound to me like the body parts are worth more than the woman.



JCD said:


> You sided with another woman who, complaining about her husband GLANCING twice at scantily clad public women, as a disrespectful cur who doesn't deserve a decent woman.


And this "glance" you're talking about was slack-jawed leering, so obvious, she was receiving sympathetic looks from the targets of his attention. Even you had to step back and admit that maybe he was a bit over the top.

So I stand by what I've said. You are determined to downplay outright disrespect by calling it "mere glances" and insisting it hurts no one. 

Fact is, being treated like a cut of meat is no fun at all.


----------



## TiggyBlue

jld said:


> I don't think you sound selfish at all, intheory. Why do you think so?
> 
> I am 5'4" and dh is 6'2". It is probably too great a difference, but oh well, lol.
> 
> Sometimes I stand on a stool so I can be at his height.


Same height's as me and my husband (tbh I prefer the height difference).


----------



## jld

TiggyBlue said:


> Same height's as me and my husband (tbh I prefer the height difference).


Lol, TB. I am not complaining, but he is a whole head taller.

I think that is why he kisses me on the forehead so much -- he doesn't have to bend down as much!


----------



## JCD

always_alone said:


> I said this in direct response to a man who explicitly said that being a man was wanting pu$$y all the time, and indirect response to one who said he wasn't capable of respecting women until he masturbated.
> 
> Both of those sound to me like the body parts are worth more than the woman.


You do know what a sense of humor is...at least theoretically?




> And this "glance" you're talking about was slack-jawed leering, so obvious, she was receiving sympathetic looks from the targets of his attention. Even you had to step back and admit that maybe he was a bit over the top.
> 
> So I stand by what I've said. You are determined to downplay outright disrespect by calling it "mere glances" and insisting it hurts no one.
> 
> Fact is, being treated like a cut of meat is no fun at all.


I recall she said 'glances'. I pressed on this point and she stayed at 'glances'. And if it passed more than one, it was blatant disrespect. This was the standard that you both clung to.

I DO recall that she said she was given 'looks of sympathy' but she was also imagining her husband having orgies in her head. So I am guessing that maybe, just maybe, her 'interpreter' while real to her, might not exactly conform to actual reality. 

She is allowed to be hurt by it if she wishes. Most of the women from that thread that I recall weren't particularly threatened by glances. IIRC, I said outright leering was over the line.

Now, since NEITHER of us were there, we can't know if he is an insensitive pervert or she is a hypersensitive neurotic...or both! I think our choices in how we interpreted things shows where our sensitivities lie. A man looking at women who dress scandalously isn't a crime...or uncommon. Her feelings getting hurt shouldn't be dismissed...but put in context.

So I am not 'rationalizing' leering. I am refusing to see the empire falling over this issue which I feel you are overblowing.


----------



## soccermom2three

*Re: Re: Unedited Honesty -- For Ladies*



Lyris said:


> I found a photo of my husband at 18 yesterday. Hotness personified *fans self*. Glad I had the good sense to lock that sh*t down early.
> 
> To summarise; dark, intense, sculpted face, full lips, focused and a little bit intimidating. And abs you could use as a washboard.


Lyris, I have a picture of my husband that I keep in my desk drawer. He's about 20 and we're on vacation so he's in swim trunks. He is so hot!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

pics of my husband at 18 ROFL blonde crazy curls,grateful dead tshirt,baggy cargo pants,hemp necklace w/shroom charm,cheesy grin,glazed "I'm high in the sky" look on his face. 

Adorable


----------



## JCD

soccermom2three said:


> Lyris, I have a picture of my husband that I keep in my desk drawer. He's about 20 and we're on vacation so he's in swim trunks. He is so hot!





ScarletBegonias said:


> pics of my husband at 18 ROFL blonde crazy curls,grateful dead tshirt,baggy cargo pants,hemp necklace w/shroom charm,cheesy grin,glazed "I'm high in the sky" look on his face.
> 
> Adorable


I dunno. I think I got handsomer as I aged. I could be wrong.

I DO have a few early pictures of my wife. Adorable. The clothing is all dated though.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I have a gorgeous pic of my hubby at about age 25....with a mullet! 

And yet, he's still a freaking hunk-o-rama, mullet and all.

He's still one now!


----------



## vellocet

JCD said:


> Offhand I can't remember ANYONE saying that women were only sex objects and not worthy of respect. 'here' *Can you cite examples? *


Don't hold your breath.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

JCD said:


> I dunno. I think I got handsomer as I aged. I could be wrong.
> 
> I DO have a few early pictures of my wife. Adorable. The clothing is all dated though.


DH definitely got better with age even though he was a hot soccer babe all through school *pant,pant..drool*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Lyris

My husband's even hotter now actually. But he was seriously every adolescent-Tolkein-elf-enthusiast-girl's wet dream at 18.


----------



## Anon Pink

I wish I had a picture! But it's clear as day in my mind. We had just fallen in love, he got out of bed naked and stood there talking to me. The sunlight was coming in the window casting him in shadow. The dark/light contrast played against the definitions of his extremely muscular build, he was a D1 gymnast. I realized then, OMG the man has the body of a GOD! Clear as day in my mind! So wish I had a picture of it...


----------



## soccermom2three

JCD said:


> I dunno. I think I got handsomer as I aged. I could be wrong.
> 
> 
> 
> I DO have a few early pictures of my wife. Adorable. The clothing is all dated though.



My husband is still hot today. We've been together for almost 32 years and he has always worked out. His bod is better than some 20 something's . He does not look like he's going to turn 50 this year.


----------



## jld

You like what you like, intheory. Every woman has her own tastes. 

And your dh meets your requirements, so it's all good.


----------



## kilgore

intheory said:


> Tall - 5'10" or over. I'm 5'9", so that's reasonable. I "Double take" on men who are well over 6'; it's almost a reflex action.
> 
> Nice eyes - I don't think men who have nice eyes realize how much power they have.
> 
> Clean teeth - don't have to be perfectly straight.
> 
> Clean shaven - skipping shaving every once in a while is okay; but no beards.
> 
> I like skinny men; just an overall preference. NOT a fan of overdeveloped muscles.
> 
> A smaller penis is fine. I have a tiny mouth. Besides, if I'm attracted to him, I'm already really aroused at his presence. Stamina _does_ matter though.
> 
> Sense of humor. Not telling one-liners. Just able to see the funny aspect of everyday life.
> 
> Doesn't have to be rich. Just have a job.
> 
> Kind to animals.
> 
> Has a spiritual life.
> 
> 
> Well, I sound super selfish. But this was "Unedited Honesty", so I indulged myself.


i think u are the first TAM-er who prefers a small penis. good 4 u


----------



## Faithful Wife

I think she said "is fine" rather than "I prefer".


----------



## kilgore

Faithful Wife said:


> I think she said "is fine" rather than "I prefer".


oops, you're right. guess i read what i wanted to read


----------



## lucyloo

The kind of men who have crystal clear blue or green eyes that just scream kindness, compassion, those kind of eyes you could see being an amazing father. These are always the same men who look you dead in the eye and are genuinely interested in speaking to you and what you have to say.


----------



## kilgore

intheory said:


> @kilgore
> 
> "i think u are the first TAM-er who prefers a small penis. good 4 u"
> 
> *********
> 
> Well, like I said, I have a small mouth.
> 
> I could easily have said "prefer", instead of "is fine". I wouldn't reject someone with a larger one - although oral would be somewhat unpleasant for me and anal would be out of the question.
> 
> A lot of guys would be annoyed because I stated my *definite* preference for tall men.


i am not tall, but that does not annoy me


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

intheory said:


> A lot of guys would be annoyed because I stated my *definite* preference for tall men.


Why would that annoy? Are women annoyed by men with a preference for small women?


----------



## Omego

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Why would that annoy? Are women annoyed by men with a preference for small women?


Depends on how much insecurity one has. In high school, I remember that the short girls were the most sought after. I was tall. So being called spider legs and giraffe made me feel less worthy...

I'm an adult now, so it doesn't bother me at all when I read of men's preferences for short women. Guess I wouldn't have been dating those guys!


----------



## Omego

intheory said:


> DvlsAdvc
> 
> 
> No short woman can ever love and adore a tall guy like a tall woman will. It just isn't possible. I think only taller women (5'7"+) can understand this.


:iagree: YES. Has to be 6' tall.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

At 5'3" if I'm with anyone over 6' they look like they've gone to an elementary school and picked up their daughter from the 7th grade


----------



## Dollystanford

I'm 5ft 4 and only used to go out with tall guys (Tosspot was 6ft 2/3)

I have been TOTALLY converted. Like totally. What was I thinking?

5ft 8 - 5ft 11? Bring it ON boys


----------



## Faithful Wife

intheory said:


> DvlsAdvc
> 
> "Why would that annoy? Are women annoyed by men with a preference for small women?"
> 
> -----------------
> 
> You know, if really tall men prefer small women (and many of them do), it has exasperated me. I know it's stupid and immature. But I guess it's a character flaw on my part. Mea culpa.
> 
> No short woman can ever love and adore a tall guy like a tall woman will. It just isn't possible. I think only taller women (5'7"+) can understand this.


I agree that if I were 5'7" my H and I would be a better physical match in some ways....but no, sorry, a short woman can love and adore a tall guy just like a tall woman can. We've found ways around the physical differences that are a problem...but then don't forget the physical differences that are HOT HOT HOT!!!


----------



## Anonymous07

Dollystanford said:


> I'm 5ft 4 and only used to go out with tall guys (Tosspot was 6ft 2/3)
> 
> I have been TOTALLY converted. Like totally. What was I thinking?
> 
> 5ft 8 - 5ft 11? Bring it ON boys


I used to love tall men. The men in my family are all around 6' or over, so I was used to that height.... Then, I fell in love with my 5'8" husband and wouldn't want him to be any taller. I'm 5'5", so his height is perfect for me. If I were to be single again, I would go for a man of similar height. 

Although many physical traits can be very attractive(good height, rugged, strong, etc.), if the guy is an a$$, then I'm not interested. I fell in love with my husband, not so much because of his looks, but because he's kind, loving, understanding, respectful, and an all-around nice guy. There was a guy in college who liked me and he was extremely handsome, but he was also a complete jerk to many people, which is an absolute turn off. Never would have worked out.


----------



## greenfern

Same as anonymous & Dolly, I'm "petite" and used to like taller guys, close to 6'. Current SO is at most 5'8 and its a perfect height for me.

Physically I love a hairy chest, 6 o'clock shadow, strong but slim body.


----------



## Tall Average Guy

Faithful Wife said:


> I agree that if I were 5'7" my H and I would be a better physical match in some ways....but no, sorry, a short woman can love and adore a tall guy just like a tall woman can. We've found ways around the physical differences that are a problem...but then don't forget the physical differences that are HOT HOT HOT!!!


Same with my wife. She is almost a foot shorter than my 6'4", but she actually seems to like that a lot. We would be a better match.

My "problem" is that I was hit my growth spurts very late, including growing over 5" inches during college. So while I know I am tall when I think about it, I don't really view myself that way in my gut and tend to act accordingly. So I never viewed my wife as that much shorter (except when I stand right next to her or we start to play).


----------



## Faithful Wife

I love it when I see a short girl with a short-ish or average height guy. They always look like a good match.

But I also like when I see a tall girl with a short guy. Some work that out and those couples always seem like a lot of fun.

For me, I like being with my H and being able to wear the tallest heels I have and still looking up at him towering over me. 

It makes me melt.


----------



## Lyris

My husband is 5'9" and I'm 5'8". I love it. We match exactly, almost lip to lip.


----------



## Entropy3000

Dollystanford said:


> I'm 5ft 4 and only used to go out with tall guys (Tosspot was 6ft 2/3)
> 
> I have been TOTALLY converted. Like totally. What was I thinking?
> 
> 5ft 8 - 5ft 11? Bring it ON boys


Some guys seem taller in bed.


----------



## kilgore

intheory said:


> DvlsAdvc
> 
> "Why would that annoy? Are women annoyed by men with a preference for small women?"
> 
> -----------------
> 
> You know, if really tall men prefer small women (and many of them do), it has exasperated me. I know it's stupid and immature. But I guess it's a character flaw on my part. Mea culpa.
> 
> No short woman can ever love and adore a tall guy like a tall woman will. It just isn't possible. I think only taller women (5'7"+) can understand this.


eh, but any woman who prefers the under-endowed man gets some leeway in my book


----------



## Omego

@ in theory: you nailed it. I wish I could "like" your post 1000x! Can't click on "like" at all from a mobile!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Faithful Wife

intheory said:


> @FaithfulWife
> -------------------------
> "....but no, sorry, a short woman can love and adore a tall guy just like a tall woman can."
> -------------------------
> 
> With all due respect; no she can't. This is probably my fault for not explaining myself fully. I am reluctant to do so because I feel like I am exposing the inner fragility of many tall girls. Here goes:
> 
> Since about 14 years old, being tall has made me feel conspicuous and ridiculous. My personality/soul (???) is about 4'10" - does that make sense? I physically do not feel very feminine. Being on the lean, less curvy side probably doesn't help either.
> 
> When I stand next to man who is definitely taller than me I feel completely different. I know what it is like to feel feminine. It's the only time I feel this way. I behave differently to them. Tall men can get a lot from tall women because of this. We are willing to go to extra lengths to please them.
> 
> Short, cute women are much in demand. They can get any guy. (A short girl in high school told me this). A tall guy has to compete to get her; against all the shorter guys who probably have their masculinity enhanced by a girl who is definitely shorter than them. The short girl calls the shots. She can pick and choose. Sometimes I think that tall men sense that tall girls are in a way "rejects", so they get short girls to have what all the guys really want.
> 
> I mean no disrespect to your love and regard for your husband.
> 
> Not all tall women are like Alessandra Ambrosio.


Sorry honey, I disagree. Tall women are also in hot demand, I don't care what some short girl in high school told you.

We shorties don't call the shots. We can't pick and choose. We cannot get "any guy".

If you feel like a reject, I'm sorry about that (it really sucks you feel that way) but your feelings don't make it so. Tall girls rock and are in high demand, short girls also rock and are also in high demand. I've had both tall and short girlfriends and all of them got their man, none had any advantage.

The same could be said about having ginormous boobs. Not all men are into that. The ones who are would say that women with ginormous boobs are at the top of their list and they may assume this is true for all men, but it isn't. Some men would prefer average-ish breasts over huge ones.


----------



## happy as a clam

I am really drawn to the "man's man" type. I realize, after all these years of a conflicted relationship with my dad (he was away in Vietnam until I was 4yo), the kind of man I am really drawn to is JUST LIKE MY DAD!

I mean that in an honorable way... not an "unresolved conflict way."

My dad could do anything. He was US Airforce for 20+ years... he could fly bombers, aced the Survival Training task (so well that he was put IN CHARGE of survival training for advanced training of AF reconnaissance teams), decode messages, recon on enemy campsites.

My dad was strong, never backed down, could "fight the fight" when necessary, yet VERY sensitive on the inside.

I realize my SO is just like my dad. Strong Alpha, takes no sh*t from anyone, protective of his loved ones and his home, yet EXTREMELY gentle and sensitive.

I love an ALPHA who can take charge, yet cry at a kitten being abused... I just melt when the sensitive side comes out...

P.S. He HAS to be taller and BIGGER than me (ex and I were almost the SAME size!) I am 5'5" 130 lbs, SO is 5"11" 225 lbs. Not an ounce of fat on him -- he is a body builder, power lifter, strongman competitor. We just "fit", know what I mean?


----------



## COGypsy

I have to say that for my relationships, I don't have a particular preference. I've dated guys from 5'5" - 6'7". However, I've been about 5'7" since I was in 6th grade. Being a taller Anglo girl growing up in a border town consisting largely of Hispanic guys under 5'6", there is a special appreciation reserved for tall white boys, aka TWB's (Pronounced "tweeb"). There is still something just a bit....notable about a guy 6' or over. Doubly so if he's got the blonde hair and blue eyes going as well. I couldn't tell you if I would love a tall guy more than a short guy or that I love my average-sized guy more than you love your tall/short/polka-dotted guy. But that silly teenager deep inside still swoons just a bit when one of the ever-elusive TWB's crosses my path


----------



## Faithful Wife

I like TBB's and other colors, too.


----------



## COGypsy

An even rarer sight where I'm from--I don't think we even had a TBB in my whole high school. I believe the population stats in my hometown usually sit at about 75% Hispanic, 20% Anglo, 3% African-American, 2% Asian.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Hopefully you've seen them around since high school!


----------



## COGypsy

Not too much IRL, but I am a loving and devoted fan of Vin Diesel and Dewayne Johnson!


----------



## over20

Ohhhhh....Dewayne Johnson....I can't even watch any of his movies anymore...I lust to much!


----------



## jld

Wow, happy, he looks like he has been working very hard! 

That's amazing!


----------



## happy as a clam

jld said:


> Wow, happy, he looks like he has been working very hard!
> 
> That's amazing!


Yes ma'am!! 35 years of SERIOUS weight training...(he's 53 now; still looks like that pic!) He is a fitness consultant to competitors, professionals, actors, etc. I am so proud of him, he is my DREAM partner in all ways...


----------



## bkaydezz

How about a man who speaks appropriately to you! WHAT? YES!


----------



## over20

over20 said:


> Sense of humor does it for me EVERY time


This is my number one fav in a man....and I married him


----------



## kilgore

happy as a clam said:


> Here's my sexy Alpha *winning* a bodybuilding competion at age 45 -- against a bunch of 20-somethings!! Nothing like wisdom and experience...  EVERYONE told him he was too old and there was no way he could win against YOUTH! He was "Mr. Ohio" and d*mn proud of it!!!
> 
> View attachment 23266


other than the muscles, i look just like that


----------



## kilgore

intheory said:


> @FaithfulWife
> -------------------------
> "....but no, sorry, a short woman can love and adore a tall guy just like a tall woman can."
> -------------------------
> 
> With all due respect; no she can't. This is probably my fault for not explaining myself fully. I am reluctant to do so because I feel like I am exposing the inner fragility of many tall girls. Here goes:
> 
> Since about 14 years old, being tall has made me feel conspicuous and ridiculous. My personality/soul (???) is about 4'10" - does that make sense? I physically do not feel very feminine. Being on the lean, less curvy side probably doesn't help either.
> 
> When I stand next to man who is definitely taller than me I feel completely different. I know what it is like to feel feminine. It's the only time I feel this way. I behave differently to them. Tall men can get a lot from tall women because of this. We are willing to go to extra lengths to please them.
> 
> Short, cute women are much in demand. They can get any guy. (A short girl in high school told me this). A tall guy has to compete to get her; against all the shorter guys who probably have their masculinity enhanced by a girl who is definitely shorter than them. The short girl calls the shots. She can pick and choose. Sometimes I think that tall men sense that tall girls are in a way "rejects", so they get short girls to have what all the guys really want.
> 
> I mean no disrespect to your love and regard for your husband.
> 
> Not all tall women are like Alessandra Ambrosio.


 everyone has their insecurities, whether rational or not


----------



## FizzBomb

intheory said:


> @FaithfulWife
> -------------------------
> "....but no, sorry, a short woman can love and adore a tall guy just like a tall woman can."
> -------------------------
> 
> With all due respect; no she can't. This is probably my fault for not explaining myself fully. I am reluctant to do so because I feel like I am exposing the inner fragility of many tall girls. Here goes:
> 
> Since about 14 years old, being tall has made me feel conspicuous and ridiculous. My personality/soul (???) is about 4'10" - does that make sense? I physically do not feel very feminine. Being on the lean, less curvy side probably doesn't help either.
> 
> When I stand next to man who is definitely taller than me I feel completely different. I know what it is like to feel feminine. It's the only time I feel this way. I behave differently to them. Tall men can get a lot from tall women because of this. We are willing to go to extra lengths to please them.
> 
> Short, cute women are much in demand. They can get any guy. (A short girl in high school told me this). A tall guy has to compete to get her; against all the shorter guys who probably have their masculinity enhanced by a girl who is definitely shorter than them. The short girl calls the shots. She can pick and choose. Sometimes I think that tall men sense that tall girls are in a way "rejects", so they get short girls to have what all the guys really want.
> 
> I mean no disrespect to your love and regard for your husband.
> 
> Not all tall women are like Alessandra Ambrosio.


Intheory, being on the small side I've always wondered that about taller girls.


----------



## EasyPartner

greenfern said:


> Same as anonymous & Dolly, I'm "petite" and used to like taller guys, close to 6'. Current SO is at most 5'8 and its a perfect height for me.
> 
> Physically I love a hairy chest, 6 o'clock shadow, strong but slim body.


Excellent taste Greenfern :smthumbup:

5'11 and exactly as you you describe.

But only at 6 o'clock, alas.


----------



## Omego

kilgore said:


> everyone has their insecurities, whether rational or not


:iagree: Yup. And often based on experience.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

My husband is 6' and I'm 5'6" or 5'7". (I shrunk a little.)

I am straight like a stick, and a weakling.

He is very broad and muscular. I love it! It makes me feel feminine, when I see us together and I look so small. Or when he helps me lift something heavy, etc. I think it is the inner animalistic nature to want a husband who is strong, muscular, protective. 

That said. I'm sure I wouldn't mind if he was shorter than me either. I would have no problem marrying a guy smaller than me. 

Heck. My dad is 5'5" and my mom is 5'10" and twice his weight. So I'm used to it.


----------



## Faithful Wife

My mom was 5'1 and my dad was 5'4. They were a perfect match. 

After they divorced, he married a woman who was 5'8". They looked good together too, sort of a Dudley Moore/Susan Anton thing.

My father, although short, was never a small man.

My mom on the other hand is literally a pixie.


----------



## kilgore

my wife and i are about the same height


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> For me, I like being with my H and being able to wear the tallest heels I have and still looking up at him towering over me.
> 
> It makes me melt.


It makes everyone else melt too. So who appreciates it more, the short woman for whom the average guy is tall enough that she can wear her tallest heels, or the tall woman who rarely finds a guy she can wear ANY heels comfortably with? That's the point, not an assessment of how much you love your husband.

Its a statement on appreciation of a rarity, something someone who has never known that particular rarity can really have.

And come on... the sub 5'7" girls do call the shots in comparison to tall girls. Think of the inverse: 6'+ guys have an advantage in their pick of women in comparison to their sub 6' equivalents. It doesn't mean you can't find someone, it means a more difficult search - you're looking for a rarer thing. The same principle applies to women. A lot of men won't date a woman too close to their own height, much less taller... and a lot of women won't date a man too close to their height, much less shorter. Advantage: tall guy, short girl. Its a much safer bet that men want a woman shorter than they are, and women want a man taller than they are, than it is to evaluate men's preference of breast size. For really tall women, that often means a ton of the dating pool is practically unavailable to them - they're as tall as the average guy - there goes half the market. As a guy, you don't get weird looks for being with a woman with small breasts. You get a LOT of weird looks if you're with a woman taller than you.


----------



## Faithful Wife

lol!


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> lol!


Ah, the typical value you bring to a discussion. :smthumbup:


----------



## Created2Write

Some things in life are really just not that big of a deal. I've known and seen couples of all different heights including men with women who were taller than them. And, surprise, surprise, no one really cared about height at all. They were far more concerned with the _type_ of person they were with. I don't think most people really concern themselves with how tall or short a prospective partner is.


----------



## vellocet

As for the ladies, OPP means something gifted

The first two letters are the same but the last is something different

It's the longest, loveliest, lean- I call it the leanest

It's another five letter word rhymin' with cleanest and meanest


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

In virtually every survey you'll find, no less than 50% of women say they will ONLY date a guy taller than they are. 

While I could find no data for the US via a quick search, in the UK, which doesn't have significantly different standards of attraction... 92% of married women are married to men their height or taller, surveyed preference be damned. 

Its apparently a big deal. Pun intended. InTheory is totally justified.


----------



## NobodySpecial

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> It makes everyone else melt too.


Oh brother. Here we go again. One of my best boyfriends ever stood a full foot shorter than I did when I wore heels. He was hot and yah he melted me.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

eh,feels like everyone is taller than me so I doubt I'd ever come across a guy who was my height or shorter. 

Seriously...try buying maxi dresses and jeans in a regular store when you're 5'3". WHO are they making these things for anyway? Giants?? A dress will be hanging well above my head on the rack but still reach mid calf when I stand next to it. awesome.
My tailor loves me...he starts salivating and seeing dollar signs when I walk through the door.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

NobodySpecial said:


> Oh brother. Here we go again. One of my best boyfriends ever stood a full foot shorter than I did when I wore heels. He was hot and yah he melted me.


I'm happy he did, but that's not the point InTheory was making.

She was making the point that no woman can appreciate a tall man like a tall woman. This is because most women want a man taller than them, and the tall woman is sharply aware of his scarcity. For average height women and shorter, the vast majority of men are taller then they are... so they can't relate.

Its not an affront to who YOU like, or a declaration along the lines of "I could love your hubby so much better than you". Its simply that a tall woman sharply appreciates the scarcity of a tall man for an additional reason that the short woman can't - the sense of conforming to social norms and feeling normal, small and feminine - something shorter women normally have, because most men are taller than them.


----------



## Dollystanford

Things I look for in a man: the ability to edit


----------



## committed4ever

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> It makes everyone else melt too. So who appreciates it more, the short woman for whom the average guy is tall enough that she can wear her tallest heels, or the tall woman who rarely finds a guy she can wear ANY heels comfortably with? That's the point, not an assessment of how much you love your husband.
> 
> Its a statement on appreciation of a rarity, something someone who has never known that particular rarity can really have.
> 
> And come on... the sub 5'7" girls do call the shots in comparison to tall girls. Think of the inverse: 6'+ guys have an advantage in their pick of women in comparison to their sub 6' equivalents. It doesn't mean you can't find someone, it means a more difficult search - you're looking for a rarer thing. The same principle applies to women. A lot of men won't date a woman too close to their own height, much less taller... and a lot of women won't date a man too close to their height, much less shorter. Advantage: tall guy, short girl. Its a much safer bet that men want a woman shorter than they are, and women want a man taller than they are, than it is to evaluate men's preference of breast size. For really tall women, that often means a ton of the dating pool is practically unavailable to them - they're as tall as the average guy - there goes half the market. As a guy, you don't get weird looks for being with a woman with small breasts. You get a LOT of weird looks if you're with a woman taller than you.


Disclaimer right up front: I am 5 ft 3 and H is 6 ft 2. 

I am not discounting In Theory's thoughts on this at all (in fact, thanks In Theory for speaking from the heart like that), but I find it amazing that a woman can feel that she can appreciate a man more than another one because of a physical attribute. The man could be a jerk, he could have bad hygiene, he could be a chauvinist, or have all manner of negative traits. How can just being tall lead a woman to think that she automatically appreciates him more? So lets say the tall man is attractive, seems pleasant enough, approaches the the tall woman and they begin a relationship. 

Then she gets to know him, and lets say he is a very persuasive man who likes to take the lead and be in charge, and she cannot appreciate that attribute in him and in fact looks at it as being controlling. But a short woman looks at the attribute rather than being controlling as being a take charge guy, which the short woman appreciates and in fact is strongly attracted to. So does being tall, which he can take no credit for, he was just born with that gene, override the negative characteristic that she sees him as controlling? Would the tall woman, having no appreciation for who he is inside, his personality be willing to overlook this because he is tall? 

I can't fathom that a woman could feel that she could appreciate a man more simply for how he looks on the outside.

By the way, H's preference is for tall, curvey women with long legs. I'm short with short tree trunks (but shapely and well toned) legs. I would never look twice at a man shorter than me. But I would have been perfectly happy with a 5'6 and above man. I could still wear heels but wouldn't feel a need to put on a pair just to run to the Home Depot with my H like I do now! I have a love/hate feeling about always having to look up at him even with heels on.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I didn't wear heels nearly as much before I met my husband. Now I love them! I love feeling tall, since I am not it is a novelty for me. I love shoes and clothes anyway so buying heels has become a new fun thing for me (not so new now but new when I met him). I actually find I don't like wearing flats anymore, now that I'm so used to heels.

My mom is very short and has always worn at least a 2 inch heel, just because she is very girly and likes having the extra height...ie: she does this no matter if she is in a relationship or not, it is just for her. Before I met H, I was always wearing flats and she would occasionally mention "honey, you look so stately and beautiful in heels, why don't you ever wear them?" and I would pshaw her. 

So now that I do wear them all the time, I can't wait to show her any new ones I have bought.

She is a dancer too, so she already has a shoe fetish for that...she has at least a dozen pairs of these Comme Il Faut custom made tango shoes:

https://www.lisadore.com/lisadore/c...nsf/vwcontent/commeilfaut?opendocument&lan=en


----------



## NobodySpecial

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I'm happy he did, but that's not the point InTheory was making.
> 
> She was making the point that no woman can appreciate a tall man like a tall woman. This is because most women want a man taller than them, and the tall woman is sharply aware of his scarcity. For average height women and shorter, the vast majority of men are taller then they are... so they can't relate.
> 
> Its not an affront to who YOU like, or a declaration along the lines of "I could love your hubby so much better than you". Its simply that a tall woman sharply appreciates the scarcity of a tall man for an additional reason that the short woman can't - the sense of conforming to social norms and feeling normal, small and feminine - something shorter women normally have, because most men are taller than them.


I was not replying to anyone else. I was replying to you. Your consistent assertions about what everyone likes and what everyone wants are just stupid. I used to stand 5'9". I am one of those tall people whom you claim perceive things this way. Your math skills are pretty pathetic if you deem >50% is something like everyone.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

committed4ever said:


> How can just being tall lead a woman to think that she automatically appreciates him more?
> 
> So does being tall, which he can take no credit for, he was just born with that gene, override the negative characteristic that she sees him as controlling?
> 
> Would the tall woman, having no appreciation for who he is inside, his personality be willing to overlook this because he is tall?
> 
> I can't fathom that a woman could feel that she could appreciate a man more simply for how he looks on the outside.


I'm not sure why you're bringing other elements into it. I'm doing no such thing or claiming what overrides what. I'm only saying that given majority preference and social norms, all things being equal, the tall woman is going to appreciate a tall man more than a short woman can, for the very reason that you say "I would never look twice at a man shorter than me." For the tall woman, a large number of men if not the majority of men, ARE in fact shorter than her.

There's no need to bring other elements into it. All other things being equal, the tall man brings the tall woman something rare to her... but downright common to the average woman.


----------



## DoF

I just wanted to thank all the ladies in this thread for validating that I'm a very attractive man.

I appreciate that.



PS. Not trying to sound arrogant and only referring to "what I do" vs "how I look". I know I might be 6 or a 7 in the looks department (my wife says 8/9 but I don't believe her....), but I feel I'm a solid 9 or even a 10 based on how I am/what I do....based on this thread. Almost every post sets off bells "that's me!!! That's me!!!"

Thanks again, who I am is 100x more important than how I look....

:smthumbup:


----------



## Faithful Wife

My husband and I were watching a TV show once about online dating statistics and I don't remember the actual quote, but it was something like "men who were under 5'10" needed an additional $10K of income per year to be as attractive to women as taller men are"...something like that (I probably have the numbers all off but...) the funny part was, my husband heard it and goes "wow, I barely even have to have a job!" :rofl:

Of course the quote just came from statistics off ******* or some other totally biased site like that. I'm not saying anything about the quote, not even sure if I got it right. Just what my H said was funny.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

NobodySpecial said:


> I was not replying to anyone else. I was replying to you. Your consistent assertions about what everyone likes and what everyone wants are just stupid. I used to stand 5'9". I am one of those tall people whom you claim perceive things this way. Your math skills are pretty pathetic if you deem >50% is something like everyone.


Where in the world are you going with this? I've made no claim about what EVERYONE wants. I'm bolstering InTheory's position that a tall woman appreciates a tall man in a way that a short woman cannot. This appreciation is derived from cultural NORMS and majority preference. Get it now? That the majority WONT EVEN CONSIDER dating a guy shorter than them, that 92% are married to taller men, are simply evidence of the strength of the preference. Its not any sort of declaration of what all women want.

A tall woman may have greater appreciation for a tall man in the sense that the tall man can make her feel NORMAL and more feminine (because culturally, we often equate smallness with femininity). This is something short women simply wouldn't have experience with so as to be able to appreciate, most men are in fact taller than them.

What issue do you take with my explaining how a narrowly defined subset of women are in unique position to have greater appreciation for something that for them, is a rarer thing? It doesn't mean every tall woman WILL appreciate it more, maybe a given tall woman is fine with shorter men, but as tall women they are in position to have greater appreciation for tall men due to their relative scarcity and social norms. A scarcity short women simply don't experience.

Its simply relative supply and demand. As human beings, which do we tend to appreciate more, the commonplace or the rare? If we're talking an evo-psych position that height is attractive for its signaling dominance, then tall and short women would value height equally. If we also introduce cultural norms, desire to fit in, and pressures on one's sense of femininity - then tall women have additional reason to ascribe even greater value to tall men, even if all tall women don't.


----------



## DoF

Faithful Wife said:


> "wow, I barely even have to have a job!" :rofl:


What is he 7 feet?


----------



## lisad45

> That the majority WONT EVEN CONSIDER dating a guy shorter than them, that 92% are married to taller men, are simply evidence of the strength of the preference. Its not any sort of declaration of what all women want.


First of all, you got this statistic off of one UK based study. Secondly, you can't bunch that woman won't consider dating a shorter man, and that 92% of woman are married to a taller man in the same sentence. The 2 stats are unrelated. On average, men are taller..so the 92% statistic is rather irrelevant anyway.


----------



## DoF

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Where in the world are you going with this? I've made no claim about what EVERYONE wants. I'm bolstering InTheory's position that a tall woman appreciates a tall man in a way that a short woman cannot. This appreciation is derived from cultural NORMS and majority preference. Get it now? That the majority WONT EVEN CONSIDER dating a guy shorter than them, that 92% are married to taller men, are simply evidence of the strength of the preference. Its not any sort of declaration of what all women want.
> 
> A tall woman may have greater appreciation for a tall man in the sense that the tall man can make her feel NORMAL and more feminine (because culturally, we often equate smallness with femininity). This is something short women simply wouldn't have experience with so as to be able to appreciate, most men are in fact taller than them.
> 
> What issue do you take with my explaining how a narrowly defined subset of women are in unique position to have greater appreciation for something that for them, is a rarer thing? It doesn't mean every tall woman WILL appreciate it more, maybe a given tall woman is fine with shorter men, but as tall women they are in position to have greater appreciation for tall men due to their relative scarcity and social norms. A scarcity short women simply don't experience.
> 
> Its simply relative supply and demand.


I really REALLY like most (if not ALL) of your posts......... but you are going bit too far with this. 

You already stated it # of times in this thread, that should be enough to get the point across. Can't really disagree with anything you said on the subject.

PS. Don't worry, I do the same crap and I do expect you to remind me of it too!!!


----------



## NobodySpecial

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Where in the world are you going with this? I've made no claim about what EVERYONE wants.


Go re-read your post. The one I replied to.


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## DvlsAdvc8

NobodySpecial said:


> Go re-read your post. The one I replied to.


You're actually truly upset about my saying "it makes everyone else melt too"? I thought this was a pretty clear use of hyperbolic speech to emphasize predominant preference. I thought you were just quoting the first line for brevity!

That's getting really picky about qualifiers. Did you really, actually think I was claiming to literally know that EVERYONE is melted by tall men? 

Here, I'll rephrase for you with all the qualifiers:

"it makes *most women* melt too" -specified most and women, since the original phrasing might have included men.

Even better:

"Most women prefer a man taller than them" -because melt is so subjective and conversational, and I don't want anyone thinking I mean they literally melt.

Good?


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## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> First of all, you got this statistic off of one UK based study. Secondly, you can't bunch that woman won't consider dating a shorter man, and that 92% of woman are married to a taller man in the same sentence. The 2 stats are unrelated. On average, men are taller..so the 92% statistic is rather irrelevant anyway.


Yes, its one study. Do you need 2? 5? I'm not doing a dissertation. Its a rather simple reporting of easily recordable and verifiable empirical data however, no? Either the man is taller or he's not. We're not talking about some complicated reasoning here. 

Both stats argue for height preference of males being taller as being extremely common, even non-negotiable among the majority. That's how they're related.

The distribution of man-taller couples is such that it is disproportionate to average height differential, and extremely unlikely, statistically speaking, to be the result of chance. To analyze this, statisticians use random distributions. In this case, the random pairing of males and females from the dataset. The random distribution reveals a very clear avoidance of man-shorter relationships in the data than would otherwise occur at random by the fact that men are taller on average.

Here's a more in depth explanation of the statistics (which included other married-height data):

Why It's So Rare for a Wife to Be Taller Than Her Husband - Philip Cohen - The Atlantic

Thus, the 92% statistic is very relevant. If it were solely the result of men being taller on average, this percentage would be significantly lower. Something like 75%. (see the quarter of the population to the left of the red line in the purple graph).


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## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Yes, its one study. Do you need 2? 5? I'm not doing a dissertation. Its a rather simple reporting of easily recordable and verifiable empirical data however, no? Either the man is taller or he's not. We're not talking about some complicated reasoning here.
> 
> Both stats argue for height preference of males being taller as being extremely common, even non-negotiable among the majority. That's how they're related.
> 
> The distribution of man-taller couples is such that it is disproportionate to average height differential, and extremely unlikely, statistically speaking, to be the result of chance. To analyze this, statisticians use random distributions. In this case, the random pairing of males and females from the dataset. The random distribution reveals a very clear avoidance of man-shorter relationships in the data than would otherwise occur at random by the fact that men are taller on average.
> 
> Here's a more in depth explanation of the statistics (which included other married-height data):
> 
> Why It's So Rare for a Wife to Be Taller Than Her Husband - Philip Cohen - The Atlantic
> 
> Thus, the 92% statistic is very relevant. If it were solely the result of men being taller on average, this percentage would be significantly lower. Something like 75%. (see the quarter of the population to the left of the red line in the purple graph).


Well yes, if you're going to make claims, then you need to back it up. The above article you mentioned is offering nothing new...after a quick glance, it looks like he uses the UK study which you've already googled for us, then he takes data from 4,600 couples, and randomizes a bunch of data, and makes some charts from it. Ehhhh..nothing concrete there.


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## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> Well yes, if you're going to make claims, then you need to back it up. The above article you mentioned is offering nothing new...after a quick glance, it looks like he uses the UK study which you've already googled for us, then he takes data from 4,600 couples, and randomizes a bunch of data, and makes some charts from it. Ehhhh..nothing concrete there.



The 4,600 couples come from a 2009 study of socioeconomics and health in the US. Panel Study of Income Dynamics - Data Center

4,600 couples... 9,200 people, is more than enough for statistical significance. 

Nothing new? The data is an entirely different set. Nothing concrete? Do you know what statistical significance means? Did you understand the charts? Do you understand why the random distribution is overlaid with the original data? I'm being serious, not insulting. The graphs can be confusing. Honestly take a moment to let them sink in - they prove this very thing you're questioning. The data directly support my claim in the most obvious possible way, by mathematically proving that the readily apparent choice of taller men among married women is not the result of chance or the average height advantage of men. In fact, from this data I can also conclude there is a not-too-tall preference in the data versus the random distribution, though nowhere near as strong as the preference for taller-than-me.

It doesn't matter, we both know there's no evidence I could present that you would accept. So I'll leave it at that.


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## Lyris

I went out with a man that was shorter than me for a while. He was very stocky and powerfully built though. I liked it, it made me feel willowy.


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## kilgore

my wife is my height, though taller when she wears heels


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## kilgore

FizzBomb said:


> How 'bout a pic of a huge **** and balls bouncing provocatively - even it up a bit to rival the pic of the huge bouncing breasts pic in the same thread over in the mens forum.
> 
> What do I personally find attractive in a man and what stands out to me?
> 
> Good looks, a nice chest and flat stomach, humour (don't take yourself too seriously), how he treats others, generosity, a nice chest, reasonably deep voice (not high pitched, whiny), nice guns, well dresssed, well groomed, decent sized **** :lol: , not self absorbed or arrogant (probably the worst traits), a nice chest  , kind and fair.


i'm batting less than .500 on your list, lol


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## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> The 4,600 couples come from a 2009 study of socioeconomics and health in the US. Panel Study of Income Dynamics - Data Center
> 
> 4,600 couples... 9,200 people, is more than enough for statistical significance.
> 
> Nothing new? The data is an entirely different set. Nothing concrete? Do you know what statistical significance means? Did you understand the charts? Do you understand why the random distribution is overlaid with the original data? I'm being serious, not insulting. The graphs can be confusing. Honestly take a moment to let them sink in - they prove this very thing you're questioning. The data directly support my claim in the most obvious possible way, by mathematically proving that the readily apparent choice of taller men among married women is not the result of chance or the average height advantage of men. In fact, from this data I can also conclude there is a not-too-tall preference in the data versus the random distribution, though nowhere near as strong as the preference for taller-than-me.
> 
> It doesn't matter, we both know there's no evidence I could present that you would accept. So I'll leave it at that.


The study looked at height of 4,600 couples, not 9,200 couples, we're focusing on the 2,300 woman. All the study did was show that the median difference between the husband and wife is 6". Did they survey these women, and ask why their husband is taller? Did they account for any other variables? 2,300 woman is a small group to begin with. You can't possibly hang your hat on that, and make the claims you are making.


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## youkiddingme

I think yall should save yourselves some time and refuse to argue with someone whose username is "devils advocate". That should be enough to tell you not to bother.


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## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> The study looked at height of 4,600 couples, not 9,200 couples, we're focusing on the 2,300 woman. All the study did was show that the median difference between the husband and wife is 6". Did they survey these women, and ask why their husband is taller? Did they account for any other variables? 2,300 woman is a small group to begin with. You can't possibly hang your hat on that, and make the claims you are making.


4,600 "couples". A couple is two. So 4,600 twos. 4,600 x 2 = 9,200 "people"... individuals. Not 2,300 women. 4,600 women.

Even if the group was 2,300 women, that too would be ok. Such a pool of random women would still allow for a confidence interval (margin of error) of only about +/-2.5% for the entire US population with 99% confidence. You may be surprised how small a survey size can be and still statistically represent a population accurately. Here's a nifty tool to play with calculations of your own: http://www.surveysystem.com/sscalc.htm 4,600 couples is a very good sample size for the US.

The statistics prove a very strong preference for man-taller coupling above random occurrence. The logic behind this is just as strong as the logic behind the height differential - it just takes a bit more understanding than the math behind means and medians. Its not necessary to ask individual preferences - and doing so would be more subjective than examining actual marriages. The difference above random is clear in the data and proves the preference. No set of other variables could account for such a strong preference. Tall men have all sorts of other variation. Short men have all sorts of other variation. Yet across all that variation, man-taller marriages are overwhelmingly preferred.

I'm going to bow out now, as this is as solid evidence as can ever be presented on a forum. This is as good as it gets. Accept it or not, its all good.


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## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> 4,600 "couples". A couple is two. So 4,600 twos. 4,600 x 2 = 9,200 "people"... individuals. Not 2,300 women. 4,600 women.
> 
> Even if the group was 2,300 women, that too would be ok. Such a pool of random women would still allow for a confidence interval (margin of error) of only about +/-2.5% for the entire US population with 99% confidence. You may be surprised how small a survey size can be and still statistically represent a population accurately. Here's a nifty tool to play with calculations of your own: Sample Size Calculator - Confidence Level, Confidence Interval, Sample Size, Population Size, Relevant Population - Creative Research Systems 4,600 couples is a very good sample size for the US.
> 
> The statistics prove a very strong preference for man-taller coupling above random occurrence. The logic behind this is just as strong as the logic behind the height differential - it just takes a bit more understanding than the math behind means and medians. Its not necessary to ask individual preferences - and doing so would be more subjective than examining actual marriages. The difference above random is clear in the data and proves the preference. No set of other variables could account for such a strong preference. Tall men have all sorts of other variation. Short men have all sorts of other variation. Yet across all that variation, man-taller marriages are overwhelmingly preferred.
> 
> I'm going to bow out now, as this is as solid evidence as can ever be presented on a forum. This is as good as it gets. Accept it or not, its all good.


Overwhelmingly in the 4,600 couple they took data from. Period.


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## over20

FizzBomb said:


> OoLaLa! That's mega sexy, over20. Can imagine he would have looked extra hot with his wet shirt sticking to his body. :smthumbup:


Fizz, I hope you see this. Today my minivan died on the freeway. Thankfully it was raining when hubs came to open the hood and figure things out... Lucky lady I am...


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## FizzBomb

over20 said:


> Fizz, I hope you see this. Today my minivan died on the freeway. Thankfully it was raining when hubs came to open the hood and figure things out... Lucky lady I am...


:toast: every cloud has a silver lining. You are one lucky gal, over20. Makes me wanna go and break the kitchen faucet and re-enact that scene from Don Draper


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## over20

You are too funny girl.....my hubs was so mad at the dang van swearing..and I was just standing there lusting, lusting and thinking about our posts!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Do you have any cute stories to share?


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## kilgore

wow, this is not my area of strength. lol


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## over20

FizzBomb said:


> :toast: every cloud has a silver lining. You are one lucky gal, over20. Makes me wanna go and break the kitchen faucet and re-enact that scene from Don Draper


Fizz, should I start draining the oil and antifreeze in my other cars...:rofl::rofl:....and you start plugging your kitchen sink.....


:rofl::rofl:


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## memyselfandi

I've often wondered about the foot/hand thing and if it were true or not...yesterday I had a job interview with a man that had the biggest feet I'd ever seen. Thought never crossed my mind about the rest of him...

Yeah right...bahahahaha!!

I have to say that I almost beg my hubby not to shave everyday as I find half a day's beard growth hot as hell. Same thing goes when he wears his scrubby jeans and his tattered t-shirts and then goes out to work on the car...

Talk about my own personal "Diet Coke" break!!


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## kilgore

memyselfandi said:


> I've often wondered about the foot/hand thing and if it were true or not...yesterday I had a job interview with a man that had the biggest feet I'd ever seen. Thought never crossed my mind about the rest of him...
> 
> Yeah right...bahahahaha!!
> 
> I have to say that I almost beg my hubby not to shave everyday as I find half a day's beard growth hot as hell. Same thing goes when he wears his scrubby jeans and his tattered t-shirts and then goes out to work on the car...
> 
> Talk about my own personal "Diet Coke" break!!


wait, people think the foot/hand thing is real?? it's not


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## over20

kilgore said:


> wait, people think the foot/hand thing is real?? it's not


It's not? In high school was when I heard it first from boys commenting on girls big hands :scratchhead: that was in the 80's though


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## over20

memyselfandi said:


> I've often wondered about the foot/hand thing and if it were true or not...yesterday I had a job interview with a man that had the biggest feet I'd ever seen. Thought never crossed my mind about the rest of him...
> 
> Yeah right...bahahahaha!!
> 
> I have to say that I almost beg my hubby not to shave everyday as I find half a day's beard growth hot as hell. Same thing goes when he wears his scrubby jeans and his tattered t-shirts and then goes out to work on the car...
> 
> Talk about my own personal "Diet Coke" break!!


Very nice!


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## kilgore

over20 said:


> It's not? In high school was when I heard it first from boys commenting on girls big hands :scratchhead: that was in the 80's though


never heard it for women. it's not true for guys, at least IMO


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## over20

:slap:..Ok....teenagers then..


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## kilgore

they know nothing about nothing and they don't even know it


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## over20

I know :rofl:


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## kilgore

over20 said:


> I know :rofl:


but u believed them


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## over20

intheory said:


> over,
> 
> What is it supposed to "mean" if *girls* have big hands? I'm just curious, I've never heard of that stereotype.


It was a code word with the guys that "you have really big hands" later a group of us girls found out that meant big boobs.


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## kilgore

over20 said:


> It was a code word with the guys that "you have really big hands" later a group of us girls found out that meant big boobs.


oh, but big hands does not = big penis


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## kilgore

over20 said:


> It was a code word with the guys that "you have really big hands" later a group of us girls found out that meant big boobs.


did they actually have big hands and there was a correlation, or just code?


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