# Trying to avoid being sucked in.



## c911darkwolf (Feb 15, 2011)

I feel like a idiot posting here. I would never see myself having to rely on website of strangers for advice. Maybe I just need to vent or maybe i'm just out of ideas, but here goes.

My wife and I have been together 8 years 9 months married for 3 of those years. Together since my senior year at high school. 

We had a beautiful boy Oct of last year. He is my entire world. He is def a daddy's boy : ). 

My wife. she has been getting depressed and she has a quick fuse on her temper. She wanted to be a full time mom so she quit college and I worked full time and a part time job so she could stay home and take care of our son. This slowly went down hill. She is depressed and gets kind of angry at being at home. My son is getting older and wants to talk really hard, but he isn't there. My wife is constantly telling me that he drives her crazy and my mother (bless her heart) watches him a couple days a week so she can have some alone time and i pretty much watch him on the weekend. 

I have tried being helpful, picking up more chores, being sympathetic, ect.. 

Nothing seems to work. I work full time, have a part time job, i'm finishing my last semester as a full time student and help raise our boy. I'm always tired, and feel like i have to pick up the slack in watching our son & housework. i'm up at 11pm at night because its the only time i can do my homework.

My Valentines day:
I had to work today so i had ordered a large flower arrangement to be delivered today as a surprise. I get a msg on my phone "there beautiful i love them"!
I get home to find her sitting on the couch while my son plays, she doesn't want to talk to me, wont interact with my son. I end up watching my son for the next 4 hours (we play cover monsters most of the time : ) i put him to bed and she still wont talk to me I work on my programming homework wihle she watches TV then she gets up in a angry attitude and goes to bed telling me to do the dishes before i come to bed. I finish my HW and do the dishes and now I got 4 hours before i have to wake up for work. 

I'm constantly watching my son every min i'm home because she hands all responsibility off to me when i hit the door. She acts like me pulling 2 jobs and full time student means nothing. She wont go back to school, she wont work full time or part time. She just wants to sit at home and watch tv and not have my son annoy her. 

She told me she wants to have more children and i honestly felt sick to my stomach. Her temper scares me and after trying to pamper her, letting her go out with her friends while i watch our son, and being treated like my work/school is nothing compared to watching my son all day i feel like i'm at the end of my rope. I would kill to have her job and just spend the day with my little boy. She wont do anything else and i can't seem to fix this...

She says things like she wished she had dated more before we got together. She doesn't really have any friends. I told her if she got a parttime job or went back to school it would help her make friends but she doesn't want too. I think she is lonely, and it frustrates her.

Our last family dinner with her family she was trying to pawn our son off on her mom, grandma, and little brother(16yrs old) so she could have some alone time and it was embarrsing. I WANT to see and spend time with my son when i get home. Not watch her try to find someone to watch him like he is a burden. 

I have been contemplating divorce, i talked to a lawyer and i have enough information on my wife to guarantee my custody of my son (if she even fought for him). May will be 9 yrs together and i'm not sure if we will make it or not.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Do you have a good relationship with your wife's family? I'm wondering if it would help to talk to them about the problem. Perhaps they could get your wife to see the problem and get help.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Has all this started since she had your son? Could it be that she's suffering from post partum depression? If that's the case, she needs to go and talk to her doctor. She's exhibiting classic signs. 

I would first want to know if there's a medical reason why she's acting like this.

And please don't beat yourself for seeking advice of strangers. It's actually a sign of strength that you've done so. You could have suffered in silence. That's never good.


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## AlwaysThinkingMaybe (Jan 31, 2011)

major misfit said:


> I would first want to know if there's a medical reason why she's acting like this.


I agree, I think you both should consider this as a strong possibility.


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## lostlately (Feb 17, 2011)

sounds creepy that you have enough information on your wife to guarantee custody of your son. Sounds like you are some sort of enemy. I can feel or see why she's mad. She is depressed, isolated and needs help. You are secretly gathering info on her to take her child away. Not a good situation. I think she needs help, not someone plotting behind her back with a lawyer. You sound like a good guy, almost a little too good. Go the extra mile and really try to get in her shoes and see what's bugging her. Something is. FYI: with all the cultural pressure on women to be successful career people, it's really hard to stay home alone. I think she's just lost her juice. Maybe she'll get it back, but she needs help. You'll be helping your son as well.


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## LVS (Apr 5, 2010)

If you need to find what kind of disorder your wife has i suggest if you start with Borderline personality disorder (BPD)

http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a101.htm


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