# Transitioning Individual Counselor for Marriage Counseling



## qmoto

My wife has been seeing an individual therapist/counselor for the past 2 years and we've decided to go to marriage counseling together.

Does anyone have any experience or advice in leveraging one parties individual counselor for marriage counseling? I think you can understand my trepidation - the counselor knows her very well, knows her side of every story, knows all about me but through her experiences and perspective.

thoughts? experiences?


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## jayde

From my expereince, having the same person as your wife's IC become your MC is a really bad idea. I asked my IC about this - he is really good, super professional, he said he did this once - but as an exception. In the therapy world (according to my IC), it's considered a bad idea too. Made me question my wife's IC if he thought it was a good idea. Good luck.


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## COGypsy

I would think it would be a conflict of interest. Most counselors won't even see both partners in a couple. If you're going to do MC, I'd get a referral from your wife's IC, if she/you think they're good, that they're framework has been effective for her and might also be for the both of you and that sort of thing or that they are familiar enough with the basic issues you have to suggest someone that might be helpful to you. But that's the extent of "leveraging" that I'd use one partner's IC for in terms of moving on to MC.


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## daliana

Hi Qmoto,
I understand you fears.I think you should try couples therapy, it really works. If you're afraid to go to the same counselor, you could talk with your wife and go to another counselor. Some friends of mine have a similar problem, and chose to travel through a program for couples. I recently learned of a seminar called Viaseminars.com and it's a mix of travel and counseling addressed specifically to couples. Maybe you should give them a look...
i hope things work out for you.


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