# Alternatives to Marriage Counseling?



## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

Have been waiting for my H's health insurance to kick in with his new job. Unfortunately we got the info packet in the mail today and they want him to pay $400 a month of deductibles for health insurance out of his paychecks, he only makes a little over twice that amount. I have a physical disability for almost a year that I have been trying to get diagnosed, and I need a doctor desperately (and specialists) because I am very ill and it is getting worse. So now I am not only faced with not being able to take care of my own health because we can't afford it (and my function is impaired too much to work, plus it's summer and I have to take care of my son while school is out anyway), but we cannot see a marriage counselor without insurance either. I'm so depressed about this. And no we do not qualify for medicaid because H makes a whopping $950 a month! I need to know what else we can do to work on our marriage if we can't see an MC. Has anybody else skipped this option and tried something else?

Our main marital issue is that he is very sensitive and over-reactive and dramatic (it is starting to impact my son's behavior at school too, he is ADHD and has a very fragile ego). He doesn't yell very often but nitpicks at everything my son does and seems tense all the time. Unfortunately he keeps agreeing and then disagreeing with me on this point. His family knows how high stress he is but I don't know if he really believes it. I have asked him to do something, anything, to work on his stress. It can be dietary changes, exercise, meditation, aromatherapy, yoga- whatever ya know, just try something. He has not done anything, and I think it is because he doesn't believe he really has a problem. But for me this is something that is going to become a marriage killer.  

Can someone please give me advice on what we can do since we won't be able to afford a MC after all?


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## engagementpostmarriage (May 25, 2011)

I really understand your situation,i believe its really hard sometimes (worse,most of the time) to cope with worst marital situations which get much worse when combined with poor financial situation!.
Since you wanted an alternative to using a marriage counseling service,i just wanted to let you know about an alternative service that could be just as effective as MC if not more.

I am into providing couples with assessments where they rate their spouse and send easy to understand reports about how spouses rated each other in terms of foundational aspects of marriage.Improving on these areas is sure to improve your marital relations.The more you know how you are doing in these areas,the better you can focus on improving in those areas.
I quote from an article based on the science of marriage - 

*'Marital researchers can predict with an 80-85% accuracy which couples will have serious relationship problems based on self-reported information about themselves and their partner. These relationship experts have identified five scales—realistic expectations, communication, conflict resolution, personality, and religious orientation—as predictive of relationship success or failure. In contrast to couples that fight or drift apart, happily married couples score high in these five scales'.*

I am happy to provide this service to you free of cost since you are in a tight situation and i understand that.Since you said your husband is extra sensitive in these matters,you can make him understand that its necessary for both of you to improve in your relations.Remember it takes two hands to clap and knowing where you stand is surely likely to improve your relations in a positive way.Based on your feedback about each other,i can provide some recommendations that can impact your marital life positively.All i need for you to do is to refer this kind of a service to couples seeking an alternative to MC!..would such a thing work out for you?
Thanks!


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

.All i need for you to do is to refer this kind of a service to couples seeking an alternative to MC!..would such a thing work out for you?
Thanks![/QUOTE]

How could I do that? I could post something on my Facebook page about your services.


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## engagementpostmarriage (May 25, 2011)

Yes..of course you could do that only if you feel its OK.
Also,if you know of couples who are looking into an alternative like this,you can let them know of this service directly by word of mouth!

You can create an anonymous email profile and send an email to 
[email protected]

I am working on building a professional website as of now.
Remember..this is a very professional service and subject to terms and conditions of anonymity since respecting privacy is so important in providing such a service.
I have had experience in conducting employee engagement surveys for organizations and thought i could use the same techniques and this is a genuine attempt to provide better marital relations to couples and healthy atmospheres to our children!.


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## engagementpostmarriage (May 25, 2011)

AvaTara539 said:


> .All i need for you to do is to refer this kind of a service to couples seeking an alternative to MC!..would such a thing work out for you?
> Thanks!


How could I do that? I could post something on my Facebook page about your services.[/QUOTE]

search for my profile : engagement postmarriage in Facebook and let others know of this kind of a service.


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

engagementpostmarriage said:


> Yes..of course you could do that only if you feel its OK.
> Also,if you know of couples who are looking into an alternative like this,you can let them know of this service directly by word of mouth!
> 
> You can create an anonymous email profile and send an email to
> [email protected]


What is an anonymous email profile?


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## engagementpostmarriage (May 25, 2011)

Ok...you can send a message with 'Marital Assessment' in the subject line to *[email protected]*
You can send it from your existing email account or you can even create one for the purpose of taking this online assessment.This information is strictly confidential and we do not share your email id or info with any outside parties.

Just indicate the areas that you both want to take assessments in.Like for example you are facing issues related to handling stressful situations calmly and effectively.
Questions designed around the relevant area will be sent to your email via the link and you can answer the simple and short single choice questions.

Both of you will be assessing each other's behaviors.We take that feedback,analyze it and give you a report of your individual performances(Husband and Wife Scores).
(Remember to have an open mind and also remember that you want to reach the goal of achieving marital bliss while referring to the scores.)
Remember,Knowledge is power,In the report you get to know what your strengths are,how to leverage them,what are your actual weaknesses that are affecting your relationship, and how to overcome them with simple and easy techniques which will surely help you see the positive results.

You can also get a few tips on my facebook profile 
engagement postmarriage!Thanks.


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