# Cuckoldry



## frstrtdnva (Sep 25, 2018)

Is cuckoldry a. more main stream than it used to be and b. cheating? I know I don't do it for my wife any more and I would really like her to BE satisfied sexually. Not so I can cheat, just so she can be actually satisfied. Am I weird.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why do you value your wife more than you value yourself?


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

frstrtdnva said:


> I know I don't do it for my wife any more


This is a cop out for laziness. Anyone can "do it" for anyone. You have to put in the effort. There are endless ways to pleasure a partner. If one particular way isn't getting it done then explore others.


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## bikermehound (Mar 24, 2017)

just want to get laid

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk


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## PreRaph (Jun 13, 2017)

frstrtdnva said:


> Is cuckoldry a. more main stream than it used to be and b. cheating? I know I don't do it for my wife any more and I would really like her to BE satisfied sexually. Not so I can cheat, just so she can be actually satisfied. Am I weird.


Does being a cuckold turn you on or is to mainly for your wife?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I just finished Esther Pearls book Mating in captivity. It pretty much explains this without placing all of the value judgements you will get here. 
to answer your questions, I don't think it is more mainstream, just more exposed. And Cheating is something that both of you don't fully agree to. 
General advice on the topic. Communicate Explain what you want and understand what she wants. More often than not you will find that she is much more satisfied than you thought.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

First, are you talking about cuckolding or Hotwife scenarios. Both are more in the open but there are differences. First Cuckolding usually involves some level of humiliation of the husband, basically your a loser and the new guy pleases me way more than you type of vibe. The hotwife thing is more the husband is turned on by the wife being pleased by another guy and it's more for the husband's fantasy than the wife. 

Is this something you've discussed with your wife or is it just something bouncing around in your brain? 

Not something to be approached lightly. Should probably focus on being more of a source of satisfaction before going down this rabbit hole.


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## fotf17 (Sep 25, 2017)

If everything is consensual, then no, it's not cheating. And as HH005 says above me, it's not to be taken lightly. Based on what I've read about any kind of partner sharing, there is a literal boatload of open and honest communication that needs to be undertaken before participating in these kind of activities, especially if its something new to the partnership.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

frstrtdnva said:


> Is cuckoldry a. more main stream than it used to be and b. cheating? I know I don't do it for my wife any more and I would really like her to BE satisfied sexually. Not so I can cheat, just so she can be actually satisfied. Am I weird.



you know what i find amazing is that this over and over again i read where the husband say that for one reason or another they can not provide the sexually satisfaction that the wife needs but it never seems to be the other way around...can I ask you is this what she is asking for? because i will tell you once you open pandora's box you will never be able to close it unless you divorce.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I would rather light myself on fire.

That is all.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

From a biological sense, it is a way for nature to take care of individuals with non desirable traits so as to not pass on those genes; therefore, allowing other males with the desirable traits to do it. Too bad we had disabled those biological safeguards nowadays.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I have a new theory and I am going to call it the "boomerang rebound fetish!" This is where a man finds/creates a female partner that has just been used and abandoned by someone that had no intentions of a real relationship whatsoever. Then once the female is immediately abandoned after sex with a desirable partner and the ensuing damage to her self esteem is suddenly realized to the point anyone and anything will do to help end the pain... (cue man with similarly painful low self esteem that is convinced he will never be desirable) BOOM! Euphoria!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Consensual or otherwise, "cuckoldry" is a sick form of cheating and totally disrespectful of both the actor as well as one's spouse, who is ultimately given the "permission" to perform it!

Mere permission does not do away with that sad fact!*


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

My theory it it's men who are ashamed of their own nature. There are many reasons why this can happen.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

It used to be a societal pariah thing....Now it's within the hipster realm apparently...Uhgg...


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

My wife and I have visited a few swingers/sex clubs, never got involved in anything there but met some people and took in the surroundings. We met a few cuckold couples, and I can say based on my experience the guys were odd ducks. They were very submissive, a bit awkward, and clearly looking to get their wives laid. One couple propositioned us with the idea I bang his wife, while he kneeled on the floor and my wife made fun of him (tell him how ugly he is, how small his **** is you get the idea). No thanks. Was an interesting experience but we were early to mid 30s and the average age was 50s. You don't want to be the young hot couple if your really just looking to observe. Each time we left after a drink or two and went to a strip club. A whole other scene for observing some sad male behavior, but funny.


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## oldtruck (Feb 15, 2018)

I have seen this end to many marriages when the wife dumps her BH for her OM.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

frstrtdnva said:


> Is cuckoldry a. more main stream than it used to be and b. cheating? I know I don't do it for my wife any more and I would really like her to BE satisfied sexually. Not so I can cheat, just so she can be actually satisfied. Am I weird.


Easy to answer....Yes you are.


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## His_Response (Jun 14, 2018)

frstrtdnva said:


> Is cuckoldry a. more main stream than it used to be and b. cheating? I know I don't do it for my wife any more and I would really like her to BE satisfied sexually. Not so I can cheat, just so she can be actually satisfied. Am I weird.



Whether your desire is weird or not? Those that like to cast judgement will, I'm sure, cast their votes. 

As has been noted, there is (currently) a difference between cuckoldry and 'hotwifing'. My wife and I opened up our marriage about four years ago, sexually, and you could say that I fall into the 'hotwife husband' category to a certain extent, in that I get very turned on by the thought of another man pleasing my wife. Does that make me weird? Probably a bit. But aside from that one desire, I'm a very 'normal' guy.

There was a time when I questioned whether my wife still desired me... whether I 'did it' for her, during a part of our marriage when she went though a long period of having no desire for sex. I think that time was what led to my fantasies about someone else pleasing her; I fantasized that maybe she would respond to someone else, if not me. As it turned out, her issues with lack of desire were due to a chemical imbalance, and once resolved our sex life came back... and I was assured that I did indeed still 'do it' for her. (And I still do...)

It is possible for couples to enjoy the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle, but it can be very hard on a marriage, especially if one spouse doesn't share the fantasy as much as the other. I think it's fair to say that most women would lose respect for their husbands in regard to modern cuckolding; for them not to, they have to fully share in the fantasy and support their husband in his desire to be 'less than', as it were. I know my wife, for instance, would never be okay with that idea. In our relationship, respect on all sides is a requirement.

My only advice would be to talk to your wife. Communication is everything in marriage. 


-H.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I think dozens and dozens, if not hundreds of TAM women would love to comment here.

I think they dare not.

I see their thoughts.
I hear them as they are choked down.

Swallowed away.

Aye!





King Brian-


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

@His_Response said: "Does that make me weird? "

Well, per societal norms it does make you weird. But, more importantly, for biological reasons, as I said before, you should be an evolutionary dead end. The problem is that mankind has blocked those barriers through technology and individuals that from a biological point of view shouldn't procreate and pass on those genes, now do. Too bad.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

You say you know you do not "do it" for your wife anymore. I have a couple of questions:

Has she told you this, or are you assuming based on some nonverbal information? Is it because sex frequency has dropped?

When you say the above, which of the statements below would you say most represents your feelings:

1. I have tried and tried but my wife just lays there, never initiates, complains, doesn't seem to enjoy anything. I feel inadequate and feel nothing I could learn to do would ever change it. She has made me feel like a sexual failure.

2. I don't think she is turned on by me, and I don't want to deal with having to dig into this and try things and go through all that hassle. I'd just rather her get it somewhere else so I don't have to be bothered.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm OK with anything that a couple both enjoy. It is however one of a list of sexual things that I don't personally have any interest in doing.


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