# my wife wants a divorce please help me



## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

hi guys my wife and i have been together for 7 years in febuary we married in august 2013 and it was the happiest day of my life the problem is we have 6 kids between us and i used to get sressed out and shout alot at the kids and she warned me numerous times to stop but i didnt i couldnt controll it when they was all being naughty i also used to question her why she was late from work or where she had been as i was home with kids all the time i didnt do it to check on her i was just worried and just wanted to know she was ok i did things without asking her and undermined her with the kids and was a total arse with her somtimes so in september she asked for a divorce i was horrified and heartbroken i groveled and she came home from work and give me a big hug and give me 6 monthsths to change i thought i had to an extent but now she has asked again and told me to move to my sisters wich i have done but i came back a few days ago because there was no one to watch the kids so ive stayed a few days ive tried not to bombared her with questions and been great with kids and not questioned her whereabouts when she has been to work and not come home till 9pm and said she had to do a few things at work and went for a drink with a work collegue we still taliking and laughing with each other and ive kept a tidy house and done all washing and cooking for when she gets home but she says she still loves me but dosent want to talk or discuss our problems we had sex once since the split and it was the best sex we have ever had and she still lets me rest my hand on her leg while watching tv together iam confused and dont know what to do i realy dont want to loose her as she is my skeleton that holds me up and without her id fall in a big heap on floor please help me


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Sorry my friend. Wrong approach without some specifics here.

(1) is this work colleague she is going for drinks with a male or female, and how do you know????
(2) why did you leave the house without talking to an attorney
(3) you groveling and begging is going to put her in total charge here.

You approach here should be to either go to MC or IC with you or for her or you divorce her WITH the advice of an attorney. She is bullying you and you have given her the green light to have an affair if she is not already while you play mister nice guy and baby sit while she enjoys her social life.

I suggest you stop letting her no accountability for where she goes or what she does. YOU ARE NOT DIVORCED YET, but she will use the excuse that she wanted that to justify what she does. And you also need to find out if she is being encouraged by her girlfriends to keep you on hold while she explores her options.

If you keep playing patsy, you will wind up divorced anyway. When a married woman insists on "space" and not being accountable for her comings and goings, there is usually another man involved.

You are in real messy territory here and you apparently are contributing to it out of fear


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

hi i realy dont think shed have an affair infact i know she wouldnt what it is i always kicked up a fuss when she arranged to go out and she wouldnt end up going so now i think cause ive stopped questining her shes gone out and enjoyed her time out the guy frœm works is gay ive met him a few times in the long haul i always questioned her about everythīng but now i dont iam accepting everything she does witout question i need to get her deffences down as she has put a wall up and its a tough one to break


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You might have broken the marriage.

I hope not but be prepared.

You need anger management and coping skills training.

Would Marriage Guidance help? Maybe. If you haven't totally wrecked your marriage.

Was she cheating? Possibly. But likely not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Do you have a job outside of the house?


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Are you a stay at home dad?

Actually you don't sound like the man of the house. You sound whiney and needy.

Men do not stay with women that go out drinking without them period.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"Men do not stay with women that go out drinking without them period."

Double standard. Next time you go to a ball game and stop off with the guys for a beer, don't expect your wife to be home.


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

iam a stay at home dad my wife works ii realise ive sounding like that but iam changing ive been fantastic with kids this week and me and the wife have had a few laughs together i think she may be testing my reactions to what she does


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

i dont go out drinking with the guys


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It sounds like what she is doing is having a girls night out with a gay guy. Far safer than with a bunch of girls.


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

no iam a stay at home dad


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

iam trying þo chänge with the kids and with my wife and to be honest ive not been away from them long enuff fôr them to miss me iam thinking


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

She may be silently acknowledging your new calm demeanor. Can't say about the testing.

She is working to support 8 people. If she divorces you, she is only responsible for supporting her side. You don't say how old your children are but is it possible for you to get some kind of work so she can feel a bit of relief? The money for the extra people she is supporting could go a long way for her children.


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

well i think that too i just want to know do you think she is testing my reactions to her going out as she can see iam better with the kids


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

10/9/8/6/5/3 i wänt to make her fell more chilled and want her to know i will agree with her 100%on everything she does i just want save my marrige i love my wife more than life itsel iam just trying to correct my wrongs


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

No one can speak for your wife. It sounds like you are laying low to not upset her and keep your foot in the door. Say she is testing you? What does that mean for you?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Why aren't you working? 

Women have a tough time respecting men who don't work. Especially ones that whine.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

if i better myself and start going ôut with freinds änd stuff will ßhe strt to think hes nt bothered and get someone else


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

it was a deision we both made she wanted to go out and


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

well if she is testing me then she will see iam changing for the better hopefuly


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Buddy,

I would not assume because you know or think this guy she goes out to bars with is gay that you are "safe". Unless they are going to a gay bar, the rest of the men in there are heterosexual and why do you think her "gay guy girlfriend" would not be encouraging her to have "fun". 

It's great you are improving yourself, and if she was fine with you being a stay at home Dad, that is fine also if you two can afford it.

But that does not give her a blank check to play the single life.

Being great with the kids is NOT going to stop her from cheating on you if she wants to. Nor are your personaL improvements.

And lastly, if you read any of the current literature, women who are financially well off and better educated are MORE likely to cheat than women dependent on men.


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## brokenhubbybolton (Jan 5, 2016)

she never went out before this is the first chance she has had realy we have been out together many times before but i didnt likethe thouht of her going out with freinds so she never did i realy in my heart dont think shed cheat ijust think she has enjoyed the time she has had out without me questioning her and likes it but like i said in another post i think she maybe testing me and seeing how id react to it


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

brokenhubbybolton said:


> if i better myself and start going ôut with freinds änd stuff will ßhe strt to think hes nt bothered and get someone else


I thought the esstset was only used in the middle or end of a word - never in the beginning.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
how out of control did you get? What sort of shouting: "Get to your room now!", "You &##$#ers better listen or I'm going to kill you". 

Did you hit her or them, ever?

Not accusing, just trying to understand what happened. 




brokenhubbybolton said:


> hi guys my wife and i have been together for 7 years in febuary we married in august 2013 and it was the happiest day of my life the problem is we have 6 kids between us and i used to get sressed out and shout alot at the kids and she warned me numerous times to stop but i didnt i couldnt controll it when they was all being naughty i also used to question her why she was late from work or where she had been as i was home with kids all the time i didnt do it to check on her i was just worried and just wanted to know she was ok i did things without asking her and undermined her with the kids and was a total arse with her somtimes so in september she asked for a divorce i was horrified and heartbroken i groveled and she came home from work and give me a big hug and give me 6 monthsths to change i thought i had to an extent but now she has asked again and told me to move to my sisters wich i have done but i came back a few days ago because there was no one to watch the kids so ive stayed a few days ive tried not to bombared her with questions and been great with kids and not questioned her whereabouts when she has been to work and not come home till 9pm and said she had to do a few things at work and went for a drink with a work collegue we still taliking and laughing with each other and ive kept a tidy house and done all washing and cooking for when she gets home but she says she still loves me but dosent want to talk or discuss our problems we had sex once since the split and it was the best sex we have ever had and she still lets me rest my hand on her leg while watching tv together iam confused and dont know what to do i realy dont want to loose her as she is my skeleton that holds me up and without her id fall in a big heap on floor please help me


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