# Mutual Masturbation, or Just Watching



## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

Question mostly for men I suppose:

I have a guy who has NEVER asked me if I MB alone. (he's my fiancé) been together 2 years. 
We have other issues but I'm just curious about this. 

Does watching your woman MB turn you on? Do you not care? Would you rather she not do it at all? Even stimulating herself during PIV without a toy? Is it something you've ever asked for or about?

We've mutually MB'ed and it's hot - I just don't think he cares about watching me or knowing if I do it alone. I can't ever get a straight answer about much. 

Hence the reason for this thread. If love to hear everyone's thoughts! Not just guys, but the gals here too 

TIA!


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

I'd love it I think it's hot. I never caught or got my stbxw to admit to it nor would she touch herself in my presence, but maybe she's just that LD.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

My wife told me she has masterbated, and she has done it in the dark with me, I want the light on, yes its hot!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I love it. My SO has done that for me, I've done it for her. She's done it while I'm at my desk with my cell headset plugged in and she was home and horny. Sometimes as we're getting naked, I'll toss a toy on the bed and tell her to get started while I make up a reason to be out of the room for a bit. Sometimes we watch porn together as a warmup, and each take care of ourselves for awhile.

It's all good. 

C


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Yes it's a turn on. Would be a turn on if she told me she did it while I was at work and couldn't wait for me to get home for another round.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Btw, I'll also add that my SO and I have very similar drive levels. As far as I know, one of us masturbating has never resulted in the other one "going without" because of it. If she was rubbing one out and it resulted in once a week duty sex, it would be an entirely different story. 

C


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

_Does watching your woman MB turn you on?_

Si. Da. Ja. Oui. Hai. Tak. Ano. 

Yes....


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

Thanks everyone. 

Here's another question:

What reasons would you NOT want too see her MB?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Men who just aren't that sexual typically don't care to see what women get up to with MB-ing. Same for women who just aren't that sexual.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

notmarriedyet said:


> Thanks everyone.
> 
> Here's another question:
> 
> What reasons would you NOT want too see her MB?


Can't think of any.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

My wife has never admitted to masturbating. She says she never has. I can think of very few things that would turn me on more than to watch her pleasure herself. But, since she says she never has I can only assume she has a negative view of it, therefore I have no earthly idea how to suggest it as part of our bedroom activities.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

She says she's never done it, and I completely believe her.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

We partake in mutual MB, watching each other at times, me touching myself while we are having PIV which drives him insane. We have discussions about MB and no hang ups or issues about it.

All I can say OP is that my ex was a LD man with no sexual confidence and he never discussed anything to do with sex or MB. That was a life time ago, never again will I be with a man that is LD or lacks sexual confidence.
Good luck to you.


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

Thanks, Holland. 
I feel like this is a deal breaker for me as well. I can't ever go though this again. 

I NEED to be wanted!


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

My wife has what has been termed "responsive desire" meaning that she rarely thinks about sex until she is into it and then she really wants it. This means that she does not masturbate very often at all. However, once we are in a sexual situation, she will masturbate for me and I LOVE it! I have several home videos of her doing that and I really enjoy watching them. She also uses toys during our lovemaking.

I wish she masturbated more often, but she just is not that way. I am just glad that she will go ahead with sex even though she could take it or leave it because she knows that she will want it once we get started. She heats up rather nicely!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

where_are_we said:


> Not a guy...
> 
> But....My husband enjoys watching me do it. And I love doing it for him. *I like watching him do it too*, but he's a little shy about it and will rarely do it.
> 
> ...


For me, watching my gorgeous man DIY is one of the hottest things on Earth.

OP I understand the need to be desired, life can be very hollow without it.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

Funny. I always thought guys doing it was gross. Kinda lecherous. But women doing is as hot as the sun. Is that a societal thing?


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## Antman (Oct 19, 2013)

It's hot as!!
I wish my wife would let me watch her. If nothing else, I'd learn more about how she likes to be touched.
Sometimes she touches herself whilst doing PIV (mostly when in missionary or deviations thereof, never in doggy for eg.) but usually only as part of gripping me to get me to finish up ie, removing her juices for more friction.
Wish she'd do it in a more "displaying position" if that makes sense.
Go for it I say. Show him what you want and how you want it.


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

It sounds HOT...although I never had the opportunity to watch. Wish wife would ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

From my experience with past boyfriends and my current husband ...... men are very " visua "l thus they've always enjoyed either mutual masturbation ( more for foreplay ) or have enjoyed watching me with or without a toy 

I've always figured if it's a " show " he wants then umm it's a show he'll get  besides i kinda enjoy the umm " attention " anyways !!!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I think it is extremely hot to watch a woman masturbate. 

Watching her entire body in a very aroused state ending in a toe curling orgasm is INCREDIBLE. It is one of my favorite turn-ons as a man. I have only seen my wife do it once with a vibrator...and I hope to see it more often in the future. 

She, on the other hand, loves to watch me do it, and encourages me to polish my stallion on nights where she is not in the mood for PIV. 

I cannot think of any situation where a man would NOT want to watch a woman masturbate. None. It is incredibly erotic...especially if they are using their fingers vs. toys. Just my opinion. Now my mind is all hot and bothered....:smthumbup:


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Thunder7 said:


> My wife has never admitted to masturbating. She says she never has. I can think of very few things that would turn me on more than to watch her pleasure herself. But, since she says she never has I can only assume she has a negative view of it, therefore I have no earthly idea how to suggest it as part of our bedroom activities.


Ask


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Like RG, my wife is very much responsive desire (which can be a bit maddening)... that said, when the switch flips she's usually ALL in and she's done this for me in the past. 

And seeing her pleasure herself to pleasure me is maybe the hottest thing I can think of.

Now I'm gonna have focus issues for the rest of the day.


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

notmarriedyet said:


> Thanks, Holland.
> I feel like this is a deal breaker for me as well. I can't ever go though this again.
> 
> I NEED to be wanted!


If your guy has no interest in watching you MB then you should be looking for another guy!

I would love to watch my wife, I have asked lots of times and she is just uncomfortable doing it. I don't think my wife has ever MB'd.

If I were you, I would set up a situation for him to walk by or some how catch you masturbating, If his eyes don't pop out of his head and the drooling immediately start I would take it as a sign of, time to find a new guy.

If feeling desired is truly important to you, you likely won't be getting it from this guy.

Most HD men would think they just won the lottery if their wife said to them "honey come here, I have something that you need to watch" and then put on this show for them.


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

where_are_we said:


> Hey, you stole one of my lines. lol
> 
> I do this often. Call to him in front of the kids that I need him to help me with something...then when he gets to the room I show him what I need help with, by putting on a show. Or fall to my knees. You get the point. He is not HD, but this is one way I can get the goods and he seems to like that. I guess it makes him feel desired. Sure wish he would figure out how to return the favor.


When i get a line like this from my wife it is usually to see something the cats are doing or to kill a spider!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Always Learning said:


> Most HD men would think they just won the lottery if their wife said to them "honey come here, I have something that you need to watch" and then put on this show for them.


:iagree: This would be better than winning the lottery!!! This is such a turn on in my mind. Damn!


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

It's insanely hot. I would love to watch my wife masturbate. She only did it once a long tim ago when I asked and claims that she doesn't do it alone. I don't believe her, but think that it's great if she does. 

Why would a guy get jealous if his wife jerks off? We do it all the time and I have never hid that from her.


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## YourKnotAnUdderFailure (Oct 25, 2013)

Here's the thing. If a guy just starts masturbating with you around, you end up thinking of him as a pervert. That's why we usually do it in private.

If a girl just starts masturbating with the guy around, the guy thinks it's cool.

If a guy who's masturbating starts talking dirty, like, "Get on your knees and suck my ****." The girl thinks something is seriously wrong with him.

If the girl who's masturbating starts talking dirty, like, "Get on your knees and put your **** in my mouth." The guy is like, damn, this is awesome!

By asking a girl how much she masturbates gives us a sense of how open she would be if she caught him masturbating. My wife doesn't masturbate, so she wouldn't understand if I did. I've had ex-girlfriends who masturbated multiple times a day. I usually watched porn and masturbated while they were reading a book or watching tv, and sometimes they got horny enough to join in.

As for why he doesn't ask you, I have no idea.


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## kimd (Oct 12, 2013)

My husband loves to watch me pleasure myself and I often give him a show with some of my toys. Although the toys are no substitute for the real thing !!!!


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

That's hilarious, because it's true...! And I never thought of it that way.

My wife always talks like that during sex, but if I were to do the same to her, I'd probably get a slap. Too funny.

I should try it sometime, and if she reacts negatively, say "but that's how you talk to me!"

I totally get the negative connotations of a man talking to a woman like that, but deep down, it IS kind of a double standard!




YourKnotAnUdderFailure said:


> If a guy who's masturbating starts talking dirty, like, "Get on your knees and suck my ****." The girl thinks something is seriously wrong with him.
> 
> If the girl who's masturbating starts talking dirty, like, "Get on your knees and put your **** in my mouth." The guy is like, damn, this is awesome!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

my wife says she had masturbated in the past but it does nothing for her. she says it just doesn't turn her on. but when i masturbate her it drives her nuts!

i guess it has something to do with someone else touching you that makes the difference. she often tells me while i masturbate her exactly when and how to touch her. sometimes she moves my hand.

i think if i asked her to masturbate herself she would be annoyed because she would say "it doesn't do anything!"

still maybe i will ask sometime to watch. no, it wouldn't bother me.


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

My wife prefers to use an apparatus for masturbation (tub faucet, vibrator), she doesn't really touch herself in front of me.

She will use a vibe in front of me, which is way hottt, but not her fingers. Occasionally, she will rub her cl!t during PIV, but she has to be really hot and bothered and into it before she will even do that.

I have masturbated in front of her for years, sometimes she thinks its sexy, sometimes it doesn't really do anything for her. She will occasionally comment on how much/how far I have shot my load, but she has never told me while I am masturbating in front of her that its sexy or a turn-on for her.

I would really love it if she would use the tub faucet on herself while I watch. It would be even hotter if she would use her fingers while I watch. I reckon I should be happy with what I have...


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Yes, of course watching my wife masturbate is an incredible turn-on. Sometimes I just watch, overcome with the eroticism. Sometimes it's mutual. But I better not cum, because either way after she reaches orgasm from masturbating, she wants me inside her like a crazy woman. Having "primed the pump", so to speak, she can then have several more, but only if she's "filled up."

I know she has masturbated alone in the past, but I think she no longer does for the same reason--once she reaches orgasm it is frustrating for her not to have me inside her, and inanimate objects don't fill her need.

The good thing about this is I never worry that I can be replaced by fingers or a vibrator, because I'm needed even more after she gets there once. That's rather nice.

I don't whether this is a common experience for women or not.


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## 33N 96W (Aug 25, 2012)

As a preteen my (eventual) wife started masturbating. After we were married when separated masturbation was accepted and expected by each other. We acknowledged masturbation but not until... being married three decades + and following surgery, I asked the wife if we could masturbate in front of each other? Her reaction was so positive and fast, it was like she was thinking, "Why didn't you ask me sooner?"

IMHO, the longer a couple is together, they will expand their sexual menu or they will slowly close-up shop. 

Mutual masturbation after decades is still :smthumbup:


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

What are some - if not most - women shy about admitting that they jerk off and guys have no problem admitting it and even wearing it like a badge of honor?


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

33N 96W said:


> As a preteen my (eventual) wife started masturbating. After we were married when separated masturbation was accepted and expected by each other. We acknowledged masturbation but not until... being married three decades + and following surgery, I asked the wife if we could masturbate in front of each other? Her reaction was so positive and fast, it was like she was thinking, "Why didn't you ask me sooner?"
> 
> IMHO, the longer a couple is together, they will expand their sexual menu or they will slowly close-up shop.
> 
> Mutual masturbation after decades is still :smthumbup:


Well said


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

I've read him all of the responses. 

He understands why I feel the way I do, and had a VERY strong, positive reaction to the suggestion of him walking in on and "busting" me. 

I'm happy 

It will be arranged for him to accidentally find me soon lol

Just knowing he's interested and turned on by SOME positive and turned on thoughts about it excites me.


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> What are some - if not most - women shy about admitting that they jerk off and guys have no problem admitting it and even wearing it like a badge of honor?


I agree most women are shy about it. I'm not one of them, neither are a handful of my GFs. We talk to each other about it, not sure if they talk to their SOs about it.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

notmarriedyet;5115570
It will be arranged for him to accidentally find me soon lol
Just knowing he's interested and turned on by SOME positive and turned on thoughts about it excites me.[/QUOTE said:


> :iagree: I am in the mood tonight to be accidentally "caught" red handed by my wife...but only if she isn't in the mood for any kind of sex. (She usually just watches TV in the evening)
> It has been a stressful work week, so I think some stallion polishing while viewing sexy pictures of her body is on the menu for tonight around 10:00 PM. She is always welcome to come in, watch, lend a hand, or just peek thru the slightly open bedroom door.


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> :iagree: I am in the mood tonight to be accidentally "caught" red handed by my wife...but only if she isn't in the mood for any kind of sex. (She usually just watches TV in the evening)
> It has been a stressful work week, so I think some stallion polishing while viewing sexy pictures of her body is on the menu for tonight around 10:00 PM. She is always welcome to come in, watch, lend a hand, or just peek thru the slightly open bedroom door.


OMG I would love this! Bless your heart. 

He will do it if I ask and ask and beg. Then he does it reluctantly. I want to "catch" him. I would LOVE it. Wow.


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## RickyC (Apr 26, 2013)

It's a "process" for my wife to masturbate successfully. She has her own way and it doesnt involve me. It's okay though, I have my ways as well. So, I guess because I am not really involved in the process, it is not much of a turn on. I think the idea of mutual masturbation is great.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I believe my wife was watching last night because I did hear the light switch being turned off in the hallway near our partially open bedroom door...and that never happens. My hands were quite slippery at the time too! 

I had an incredibly powerful, bed shaking orgasm...and yes, I did take my time. There is something very sexy about being watched or being caught. Here is the image going thru my mind during my stallion polishing:


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> I believe my wife was watching last night because I did hear the light switch being turned off in the hallway near our partially open bedroom door...and that never happens. My hands were quite slippery at the time too!
> 
> I had an incredibly powerful, bed shaking orgasm...and yes, I did take my time. There is something very sexy about being watched or being caught. Here is the image going thru my mind during my stallion polishing:


I love it!

I love the metaphor, too BTW!!

That is very awesome of you. I wish he would let me know: hey, I will be doing X at X time, check it out of you want. HOT. 

Maybe of I ask nicely enough, and I maybe set up a scenario for him to "bust" me first, then hopefully he will return the favor. 

Thanks a million for the ideas!!


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

notmarriedyet said:


> Question mostly for men I suppose:
> ...
> Does watching your woman MB turn you on? Do you not care? Would you rather she not do it at all? Even stimulating herself during PIV without a toy? Is it something you've ever asked for or about?


It most certainly turns me on and yes I care that she enjoys herself. I would rather she do it often alone, mutual and during PIV, all of that turns me on knowing she is enjoying.

Many many years ago I did encourage her to MB without me home. She was not working at the time. I think she only did it twice and told me about only once (I'm pretty sure she did it a second time though). She was so freakin' hot when I got home from work. I asked her to tell me what she did and how she felt. It pleases me as a husband to know my wife is enjoying her sexuality. Also during this time she would MB for me and let me take pictures and video. We would do mutual a few times but not planned, just because we both wanted to O and for whatever reason PIV wasn't going to work that night. 

Alas those were the best couple years of our marriage. Since then she has forsaken any kind of self touching, saying it is morally wrong now. In our sex therapists office she admitted to doing it that one time when I wasn't home but said I coerced her into doing it and that she really didn't like it. 

I believe that desire breeds desire and so the more someone enjoys their sexuality, both with themselves and their partner, the more they will have to share with their partner.

I have a fantasy about my wife and I facing each other on the love seat MBing. That will never happen but gives me scenarios to play in my head.


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## john 47 (Jul 5, 2013)

Yes watching the wife is a huge turn on! We have done mutual or taking turns and watching each other both ways are very hot! I prefer that my wife MB regularly, it seems she has higher drive when she has alone time. She has even made a few videos of her private sessions, I'm a lucky guy.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

John, you are a lucky guy for sure! :smthumbup:

Good for you!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

notmarriedyet said:


> *I have a guy who has NEVER asked me if I MB alone*. (he's my fiancé) been together 2 years.
> We have other issues but I'm just curious about this.
> 
> Does watching your woman MB turn you on? Do you not care? Would you rather she not do it at all? Even stimulating herself during PIV without a toy? Is it something you've ever asked for or about?
> ...


Me & my husband mutually MB'ed each other for years before we married... I probably would have turned as *red *as a lobster had he asked me outright if I masturbated alone back then...it's just NOT a subject either of us opened up......(but can I say... we should have [email protected]#$)...

He didn't even know I did that until 4 yrs ago (after we had 6 kids & married 19 yrs)... He was shocked ...I told him I was a horny young girl & had been since age 11ish.... and here I learned...he was saving every orgasm for me ...after we started touching each other.... we both did not know these things....Yes, this utterly ridiculous ! I agree... 

I was a bit repressed sexually with too much "good girl thinking" clouding by brain in our dating years & some of this following me right into marriage.. It's the only thing we didn't talk about openly.... 

Those days are gone... I did ask him a few yrs ago if he'd enjoy seeing me DO that...he told me with a  that would be a turn on.. .and I'd feel the same watching him..... but really...neither of us has WATCHED... as we both just prefer touching each other instead..... that is the thrill of having a lover -their hands all over us... I think I would still feel a little embarrassed the other way -to be honest. 

So It's great if you & he can talk openly about all of these things & enjoy them...try many things.. don't be as silly as we were !


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

I wish couples could become comfortable enough with this stuff to communicate!!!! We MB together and separately. We also do it alone and then tell each other about it. Sex is supposed to be fun. Make it fun. When it's two consenting adults in a solid relationship, it's liberating to try new things and talk about it. Don't take it all so seriously.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Watching my partner MB is not particularly hot for me. Mind you I don't dislike it, I would just rather participate. She prefers me not to take matters into my own hands but prefers to be the operator whenever I feel the need. It is a little odd, because even when she must be away, I think she is disappointed to know I relieved my sexual tension.


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## Self Help (Oct 22, 2013)

I love to watch my SO! Thats one of my biggest turn on's!


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