# I think I've fallen in a depression after my seperation



## mrslmndz (Apr 14, 2009)

Its been one year since my husband left me for another girl. We had been together for 13 years and married for two. One day he just called me and told me he was divorcing me. We were getting along great, we always did things together, had fun, laughed, joked, we were best friends and we had gotten really close in the last couple of months. Well, It's been one year. He is still with her. I have tried to focus on myself, do things that I like, have fun with my friends ( i have a lot of friends now) and spend a lot of time by myself and family. This whole year has been like hell for me. Still riding the roller coaster. I have had my ups and my really low downs. I have realized that I no longer want to wake up anymore. I get anxiety in the mornings, I get tired easily now. I just dont see what the purpose is anymore. He was my first and only boyfriend, first everything. Now I sit here by myself. I wasn't able to have his child and I am scared that many years passed by and everything that I dreamed of is gone and I will never have it. I am 35 years old, I feel old, I feel useless, I feel ugly, I feel unwanted, unloved, unworthy. I feel like I wasted so many years and have not accomplished anything in my life. I really don't see any purpose for me in this life. I have had visions of me just not feeling anymore, not thinking, or being anymore. I dont want to take medication, I wont attempt anything on my life. I am just there..... I wish that I could forget that he ever existed in my life. LIke he did when he destroyed all of our pictures together. I need to have hope, I need to know that there is something better for me out there. I need to know that I will one day have a husband that will be faithful, loyal, lovable. I need to know that I will one day be a mother. I need to know that one day I will be loved unconditionally and will have a partner that I can grow old with because he wants that. I need to know that my life does have a purpose. I have a career, I am eating healthy, I have family and people that love me but It's just now enough for me right now. I feel incomplete, alone, I feel unsatisfied.


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## tryingtocope24 (Sep 27, 2009)

I understand how you feel completely. I am in a situation now where my wife of 24 years and compainian for 30 also high school sweetheart has decided to find herself. She does not know what she wants but does know it does not include me. The past 6 months have been hell, she will not leave till june when the kids get out of school. She thinks we can live together as co-parents. I love this woman clear to my soul. If i give her a hug there is nothing there. I would do anything for her and have told her that over and over. As for your situation, I can not give much advice other than you are not the only one going thru it. I wish there was a pill to make it go away but there is not. I need to put someone else in my life to replace some of those feelings that is my plan we will see if that helps. good luck


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## mrslmndz (Apr 14, 2009)

tryingtocope24, I am sorry about your 6 months of hell and I hope it will soon end and you will get to that point of realization where you find peace, love, and happiness. I wish you good luck, love, peace, and happiness and thank you for responding to my thread. Sometimes, well oftentimes I just feel like I played out my friends in crying to them about my pain. They know it all so well but most dont understand it. I always hear, just move on. I wish I could, its seems so easy for most but I have a hard time moving on from something that I still don't quite understand what really happened. I woke up from a nightmare I had seems oh very familiar and all the pain and uncertainty about my future resurfaced. It seems to be the story of my life, now.


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## wantosaveit (Oct 17, 2009)

why dont you become a foster parent or do weekend respite - you would be helping a child less fortunate and will feel you are helping someone - dont look for love it will come your way and one day you will be happily married with children - good luck on your journey.


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