# just a little emotional today.



## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

Hi!

Don't know why, but last night and today seems to be kinda hard on me. I miss my husband so very very much. I miss our family. Pure and simple...I just miss everything. It still doesn't make sense....how can you be with someone for 20 years and then it just seems that one day they don't want to do it anymore and completely cut you out of their life? Our life and marriage were far from perfect....but we had each other....and in my opinion that was enough to keep us going....until that fateful day when everything crashed down upon us.

I am still doing the 180....but obviously with no success of him coming to his senses and wanting me back. It has been 24 days since I last saw him....I have only sent 1 text (in regards to the kids) in the last week. 

Other than these last 2 days....I have been doing good in my opinion. My kids are doing awesome and that makes me so very happy....I think that I am the one that has made this difficult transition a bit easier for them... we had a great weekend...we went to SeaWorld in Orlando and had a great time!! I am very thankful for my kids....they are good kids.

One day last week....I met a guy thru Match.com. He was very nice...we agreed to meet for a drink. Did I enjoy myself? No. Only because my mind was racing just thinking how weird it was to have to be in this whole dating scene in today's world. My god....my husband and I have been together since I was 19 and I am now 39....scary to say, but LOTS has changed. Down right frightening if you ask me. So...I couldn't relax enough to enjoy meeting someone new...however....there is someone that I am intrigued by....I have known him for 20 years and we recently reconnected thru Facebook. Over the last couple of months we have started to "chat" every couple of days....that's all...but he makes me laugh so much....he isn't afraid to say what he is thinking that's for sure....but I am not sure on how to navigate this....I would like to know him better....I would really just like someone to "hang out" with...all my girlfriends are married with children....so they aren't available all of the time...but this guy....like I said...he makes me laugh thru our chats....he has mentioned jokingly that we could be "friends with benefits"....each day it sounds more intriguing.....but...I love my soon to be ex and wish that we could get back together...but I know that won't happen....

I so dislike my life right now.....I just don't know anything anymore....thanks for letting me get this out!!!


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## psionivy (Apr 4, 2011)

I can understand, its hard to move on but at the same time you don't want to be stuck. All I can say is that if you feel like you gave 100% to your marriage then he still walked away then this is not your issue, it is his. You hold your head high and the dating thing will figure itself out. I know its very hard to be lonely but after so long together maybe you should take the time to get to know yourself again,as someone seperate from your husband. Its fine to meet friends and go out but don't go looking for something. I wish you the best.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Hang in there! I feel the same way. I can't imagine focusing on someone else. I can't even let go yet.


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Denise, my wonderful friend, keep chatting, have fun...it's okay to smile and feel alive again!

we all experience down moments, even with things moving forward here, I get down, really down, and wonder if it is all worth trying to fix...

and I guess my answer is yes, because no matter how down and deep I get with my mixed up emotions, when love goes right, it is so worth it...and that is what I want and am working for...

you'll get back to that, but I know it will be hard to open your heart up again...whether it is with you husband or another, you'll find it again...work through the lows, work toward the highs...and enjoy life again...

Sounds like you have some special kids there!!!


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

Thanks DJF!!


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## Suckerpunched (Jan 27, 2011)

Denise, 
I know what you mean. I have those days too. My husband (14 yrs together) just up and decided he didn't want to be married any more. Says he wasn't miserable, just wasn't happy. Never thought to tell me. Doesn't want to fight for it, or do anything but walk away.

While I'd like to get out and meet new people, I cannot imagine having a relationship right now. I still want the guy who doesn't want me.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I think we all have down days. This morning was one for me as well, the tears just kept falling.

IMO it might be too soon to be on dating sites, but that's just me. 

Hang in there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

I def. am not looking for a relationship like that. I know I am nowhere near ready for that. I do want to just meet some new people and hang out with....


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