# The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!



## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

I think most males dads say this dont they?
Well mine did and most of my mates said theres did.

how true it is, even though i thought mine wouldnt be.

My exwife (28) and her mum were nothing a like when i started dating her when she was 22. They actually didnt even talk much to eachother and were opposites.

Exwife when 22: had a job, weighed 55k.g, played sport, liked dancing, went to sporting games, loved sex, cooked, enjoyed a drink etc.

mother although she is not a bad person, hasnt worked in 20 years (blames her back) never has money, well maybe because she spends it on smokes, and take away, is fat maybe 110k.g, has a bf but states they dont have sex, rarely cooksm just has take away, watches tv basically for 10am whens she gets up till midnight.



you guessed it as soon as i married my ex. she put on 30k.g, spends money on crap, rarely cooked, loved take away, watched tv.internet heaps, stopped having sex, hates sport now, gets up at 10am on days off and by the the times she ready to do something midday. Oh and now has a big fat ass like her mum and is actually starting to look like her and sounds like her.....



I admit im like my old man and laugh if i picture him with my ex wifes mum LOL so funny, but thats what it would have been i guess.


Just put the topic up as my mate today said his wife has put on 20k.g and looking like her mum LOL.

Deffinetly look at the mother and study her closely. my mum is like her mum but they are both great.


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## stopandmakecoffee (Jan 2, 2013)

hmm..can't say that im agree.

my mom is a dentist, chief on her workplace until 3 years ago, now she's working in less stressful position.he sewn her own pregnancy dress [i saw it when she was expecting my youngest sister], still does now; those little craft projects. she's an amazing cook, owns a small catering company.she's devoted to my dad, a respectful wife.a loving grandma for my nephew. she's also my original fashion guru. wakes up early, work all day, always has the time to come home by lunch to accompany my dad who's now retired.always.she never fails. she's a strong,independent woman who loves her family so much.she hates TV and movies [except marlon brando's] because she thinks it's a waste of time.

yes she put up some weight, never been an athletic one she is.

me, im a tomboy who can't cook like her and i played basketball in highschool, now at 31 i;m still 47kg.i work in art&computer,total opposite of her field. i wake up at 10 am because i sleep at 3am,or 4am. i clean up the house exactly like her.the rest of it we're totally different. i'm more like daddy than mum 

the only one said that we have some resemblance was my late granny. she looked at my pre-wedding photo, exclaiming [to my mum] : 'she just looks like you when you're younger!'.
other than that, no one ever thought that we're actually mom & daughter


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I'm much more like my dad in personality and looks


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> I'm much more like my dad in personality and looks


Same here. Although, I did get my temper from both of them... =/


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

I'm a lot like my mom and consider it a good thing. She's 55 and does not look her age by far. She's not the slim 95lb she was when she got married but at 5'4 and 135 she is by no means overweight. Shes always been a smart determined hardworking woman (worked full time since 18 and still does)who never needed help making her own way in life. She's never owned a credit card and spends her money very wisely. She gives out of her way to brighten peoples day and is almost always in a good mood. All of this is coming from a woman who grew up as Daddy's girl BTW.

Of course she has her down sides like high anxiety over things that don't really requite that much thought. She's never been a great housekeeper especially after her OCD daughter left the house Lol. I'm sure I could add to her negatives but right now I'm drawing a blank.

We do share a lot of traits. She made sure to pass down a lot of admirable traits to her me and I'm very grateful for all the great life lessons she taught me. I'd like to think the way i am today is from almost equal parts both parents leaning towards dad. And I'm pretty awesome....

At least my mom thinks so


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

The old saying, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree is reasonably accurate. Whoever raised the child will have had the most influence. You find out for sure when the chips are down. Don't kid yourself.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I look like mother except she's fat and I'm not. Attractive just an emotional eater. I became my father.


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## lilith23 (Sep 6, 2012)

There's also a saying that says, to know how a man will treat his wife, look at how he treats his mother. 

I guess that there is some truth about these sayings, but I wouldn't make them rules.

But putting aside the bait and switch cases, I don't really understand how can one change so much after marriage. I mean, I've been living with my husband for a year before marrying him, and aside of having an extra legal paper saying that we're married and having made vows that we are sure that we want to be with each other and are committed to be together for better and worse for the rest of our lives, I don't see any difference in our lives.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> The old saying, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree is reasonably accurate. Whoever raised the child will have had the most influence. *You find out for sure when the chips are down.* Don't kid yourself.





lilith23 said:


> There's also a saying that says, to know how a man will treat his wife, look at how he treats his mother.
> 
> I guess that there is some truth about these sayings, but I wouldn't make them rules.
> 
> But putting aside the bait and switch cases, *I don't really understand how can one change so much after marriage.* I mean, *I've been living with my husband for a year* before marrying him, and aside of having an extra legal paper saying that we're married and having made vows that we are sure that we want to be with each other and are committed to be together for better and worse for the rest of our lives, I don't see any difference in our lives.


I refer you to my emboldened statement above.


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

Whoever raised the child will have had the most influence....... 

This statement is not necessarily true; I live with the proof that DNA has a lot to do with who we become. My H (46) met his bio dad three years ago. His dad had no idea H existed until I located him. Not only do they look alike, but the number of characteristics/mannerisms they share is unbelievable. Other than age, they're identical - morals, values, work ethic, beliefs, political views, etc. 

That being said: I look just like my mother except weight. I can only hope to look like her when I reach her age, @ 66, she looks to be low- mid 50s. The other major difference in us is that she's what you'd consider a 'man-hater/basher'. This is due for the most part to my dad hurting her many years ago. Since then, she's had bf's but it's almost as if she chooses wrong on purpose in an effort of self-sabotage. Every time I see her, she resembles her mother more & more. This is not a good thing. My Gmother is a cranky old bitty. 

Told my H it scares me to think I may end up like them....... He says: Hell NO you won't; I'll put a foot up your A$$!!! Lol.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Moms have a lot of influence but a woman's relationship (or lack thereof) with her father is a far better predictor of her adult marriage outcome. Any of you guys who have daughters, please make a special note of this.


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> Moms have a lot of influence but a woman's relationship (or lack thereof) with her father is a far better predictor of her adult marriage outcome. Any of you guys who have daughters, please make a special note of this.


Bingo. If your wife has a lack of respect for her father or is distant, estranged, etc. from him -- be very, very careful. 

My exW had a total lack of respect for her father. I learned later that it applied to almost all the men in her life.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Physically speaking, and even as she ages into her 50's, my STBXW looks like the spitting image of her Mom, who is the absolute sweetest and kindest lady in the world. 

But that's where the comparison stops. Inasfar as her pschological traits go, she acts bossy and domineering just like her Dad. And then he was rumored to have had quite the reputation of being a lady's man in Europe during his WWII days as an officer.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> Moms have a lot of influence but a woman's relationship (or lack thereof) with her father is a far better predictor of her adult marriage outcome. Any of you guys who have daughters, please make a special note of this.


I think it depends on the father or the man you're marrying.

I'm one of those daughters who doesn't get along with her father and have almost zero talk/discussion during the day. I can't say he's a man I have much respect for and we're very distant. 


It's a bout reciprocity. My father has never been the loving type, never showed affection to me or mom, he's not affection in general and has mostly been indifferent to me during my life and everything I've done.

Thus I can say he's one of the people I care less about and I say this without a single doubt. 

But with my guy friends I'm different. I was different with my ex. I'm sure they've gotten more love/affection/attention/caring from me than my dad ever has. 
You can bet on that.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

My wife has totally turned into the personality of my FIL. It's funny though, my oldest daughter is so much my MIL. Same attitude, looks like she did 55 years ago, even walks like her.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife looks nothing like her mom.
However, the first time she introduced me to her mom, she took an instant liking to me. When we were dating ,her mom and I would sometime sit and talk for quite sometime about everything under the sun,
Including her daughter.
She told me the good , bad and the ugly.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Dollystanford said:


> I'm much more like my dad *in personality* and looks


This is true of me as well....I am ALL my father in personality... we are near identical in how we view life, love...even his temperament, how to raise kids, his humor, his love of the country...

My Mother... oh my... NOT AT ALL ...

Looks wise... I do look some like her (also weight wise)....but she never wore make up, doesn't dye her hair , hates dresses, never wears heels...... I am the total opposite of that... 

I adore Dresses, wouldn't be caught dead without make up on going out, love some heel & Thank God for Hair dye!! Also my Mother hates the country & loves the city....I just shudder... how did I come from her!!


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Hmmm, MIL. She a very loving person, cared for her dying husband in his last days with huge devotion. She is a caring woman who is dedicated to the well being of her entire family (as the matriarch). Even at 82 she is very active even though she is overweight. A great cook, wonderful grandmother and all around great person. Do I have a problem with my wife emulating these qualities, absolutely not. Although, my wife in many ways is more like her dad. And, yet again I have no problem with that either.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

I can see where you are coming from. But it sounds like your EX-wife probably had the same views about marriage because of her mother. Which is to just be lazy. Some people feel like once you marry you don't have to try anymore and any ounce of happiness you have should be the work of the spouse. It sounds that is what was going on. I know a woman that is adopted. Her and her brother are. They were raised by the same parents but her brother always was in trouble, was narcissistic and manipulative. She told me that he has been in and out of prison his whole life. He has a son that he has never seen that she helps raise. The son is just like the father. Problems with the law, and she says they even have the same mannerisms, and make the same hand gestures. That's so interesting. 

My father is one of the greatest men I know. But I hope no woman sees him and thinks i'll look like him when i'm in my 50s. For all his intellect and integrity i'm not interested in having bird legs with a pot belly. Having an egg-head and duck feet is enough:yawn2:.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

I never thought this until my stbxw cheated. Then I looked at her mother and THAT is why I don't think I could reconcile with this woman. I see my stbxw in a brand new light that I never considered before.

My stbxw's mother escaped from an abusive relationship with my father-in-law when my stbxw was 17. My stbxw helped her escape the relationship. That was admirable. But then my MIL disappeared on my stbxw and her younger sister and brother. Not a word, not a letter, NOTHING. My stbxw was forced to live with friends and her sister and brother with relatives. It really screwed up my SIL and BIL (and my wife too, obviously). Then a couple months later my MIL showed up again. No explanation, to this day nobody knows or asks where the hell she went. Since I have known my stbxw (27 years) my MIL has had a string of affairs with married men (usually losers too). My stbxw sends money home for rent/food and often my MIL uses the money to do stuff like get her eyebrows tattoo'd. Once, she bought a dog with the money. TOTALLY screwed up priorities. When we used to call, it would be 15 minutes of listening to some whine or "pooooooor me" story. 

So in my case, the apple truly does not fall far from the tree.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> I never thought this until my stbxw cheated. Then I looked at her mother and THAT is why I don't think I could reconcile with this woman. I see my stbxw in a brand new light that I never considered before.
> 
> My stbxw's mother escaped from an abusive relationship with my father-in-law when my stbxw was 17. My stbxw helped her escape the relationship. That was admirable. But then my MIL disappeared on my stbxw and her younger sister and brother. Not a word, not a letter, NOTHING. My stbxw was forced to live with friends and her sister and brother with relatives. It really screwed up my SIL and BIL (and my wife too, obviously). Then a couple months later my MIL showed up again. No explanation, to this day nobody knows or asks where the hell she went. Since I have known my stbxw (27 years) my MIL has had a string of affairs with married men (usually losers too). My stbxw sends money home for rent/food and often my MIL uses the money to do stuff like get her eyebrows tattoo'd. Once, she bought a dog with the money. TOTALLY screwed up priorities. When we used to call, it would be 15 minutes of listening to some whine or "pooooooor me" story.
> 
> So in my case, the apple truly does not fall far from the tree.


My good man I think you have made the best decision.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> However, the first time she introduced me to her mom, she took an instant liking to me. When we were dating ,her mom and I would sometime sit and talk for quite sometime about everything under the sun,
> Including her daughter.
> She told me the good , bad and the ugly.


Me too. I really hit it off with my MIL from when I first met her. My wife had dated a couple of "bad boys" and they scared the crap out of my MIL. Then she brings home a guy that just graduated from college and had a real job.

I've been close ever since. It is very much a 'mom' relationship I have with her. WAY closer than I am to my own mother.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

My MIL and I can't talk because I don't speak her language and she doesn't speak English. However, she always treated me well and I treated her well. My SIL and BIL too. I liked them and I thought they liked me. Would always put them up in our house when they visited and take them around for a holiday. Would book time off and basically be their tour guide. They've met all of my family too. I thought I had the perfect situation, great wife, in-laws a 24 hour flight away smthumbup

Not a word from any of them since the split. Not one word. Even for the kids - HER grandkids - not even a Christmas card, as usual.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

There is some truth to it. But you can't overdo it.

My mother in law is a nice young lady. Seven years younger than me.


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## Unaware (Jan 7, 2013)

Lol I just spent a weekend away with my sister. 
She is becoming my Mother 
I am becoming my father, with bits of Mum mixed in (but mainly Dad).


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## Lignums (Nov 20, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> The old saying, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree is reasonably accurate. Whoever raised the child will have had the most influence. You find out for sure when the chips are down. Don't kid yourself.



My wifes grandma raised her. My wife is nothing like here mom, only her grandma, slowly turning into her...
Just in the past 2 years I have noticed the resemblance physically and personality wise.


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