# Wife ogasms way too fast



## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

I am 65 my wife is 55. Married eight years both married before. We are happy. Sex usually twice a week. Now for the issue. My wife love lots of slow manuel forplay which im happy to give. I have to stop several times to keep her from cumming. She only wants to cum in PIV. Now here is the thing. She cums in a few minutes once I'm inside her. So much its stacked. All that seems good right. Wrong..I need time to release. But she's exhausted after. So the pressure is on me to hurry. Now I get there is a lot of people that would love this problem but its not fun to be rushed. She holds it during for play but gets off like crazy once we get going. I can live with it. She is super happy with our sex. But sure would like no pressure..

Thoughts


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

so it sounds like you are edging her but you not so much. what is her foreplay with you? perhaps if she edged you before you go in her you might not have to take too long?


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Yes I'm editing her. During which I'm getting oral. But it just takes me time.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Does she want you to stop penetrating her vaginally after she has orgasmed?


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Rooster2015 said:


> I am 65 my wife is 55. Married eight years both married before. We are happy. Sex usually twice a week. Now for the issue. My wife love lots of slow manuel forplay which im happy to give. I have to stop several times to keep her from cumming. She only wants to cum in PIV. Now here is the thing. She cums in a few minutes once I'm inside her. So much its stacked. All that seems good right. Wrong..I need time to release. But she's exhausted after. So the pressure is on me to hurry. Now I get there is a lot of people that would love this problem but its not fun to be rushed. She holds it during for play but gets off like crazy once we get going. I can live with it. She is super happy with our sex. But sure would like no pressure..
> 
> Thoughts


I agree, it's not fun to be rushed. Most women can have multiple orgasms. Is your wife limited to just the one?


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Personal said:


> Does she want you to stop penetrating her vaginally after she has orgasmed?


No she will keep going just she’s not into it after. Never leaves me hanging.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

maquiscat said:


> I agree, it's not fun to be rushed. Most women can have multiple orgasms. Is your wife limited to just the one?


She has stacked orgasms all at once. She calls it a never ending orgasm. But she gets exhausted after.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

it does not seem too much of a problem.
she has to do things to you that make you need to cum quicker.
For instance, does she give you a lot of oral sex, up to the point where you are a few minutes away from cuming? if so, then just put it inside of her and bang away.

or is she not giving your the attention you need, and expecting YOU alone to somehow speed things up?

there are other things she can do, such as wearing provacative lingerie to turn you on more, providing some anal stimulation to you, or some intense nipple stimulation to you when she is getting closer to cuming.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Rooster2015 said:


> No she will keep going just she’s not into it after. Never leaves me hanging.


Well that's nice of her to keep going, so you can get yours.

So unless you are looking to further limit your sex life with your wife, I encourage you to appreciate what you have.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

@Rooster2015 If for any reason you're on a PDE5 ED med, such as Viagra or Cialis, you should try getting off them. Why? Because they reduce sensitivity, making it more difficult for some guys to orgasm. I'm an odd case in that I have first hand experience because I take Sildenafil (Viagra) for Raynauds, a circulation issue that causes your hands to turn cold as ice... not something women find very attractive in a guy. The triggers that cause it include colder temps and stress. More often than not I don't need to take it. So I have plenty of experience both ways, and can definitely say it deadens sensations.

Obviously, this may be completely irrelevant! Just tossing it out there, just in case.

Aside from that, cannot tell you how much I wish my wife had your wife's problem. OK, thinking on the fly here... would it be acceptable for you if YOU didn't orgasm sometimes? If you could essentially be a tool for her pleasure? I would love that scenario. I would find ways to get my own needs taken care of, and then, perhaps with the intentional use of Viagra, become that tool. Once she had her orgasm, my job is done, she's happy and settling in, and I can relax.

Maybe?


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Casual Observer said:


> @Rooster2015 If for any reason you're on a PDE5 ED med, such as Viagra or Cialis, you should try getting off them. Why? Because they reduce sensitivity, making it more difficult for some guys to orgasm. I'm an odd case in that I have first hand experience because I take Sildenafil (Viagra) for Raynauds, a circulation issue that causes your hands to turn cold as ice... not something women find very attractive in a guy. The triggers that cause it include colder temps and stress. More often than not I don't need to take it. So I have plenty of experience both ways, and can definitely say it deadens sensations.
> 
> Obviously, this may be completely irrelevant! Just tossing it out there, just in case.
> 
> ...





Talker67 said:


> it does not seem too much of a problem.
> she has to do things to you that make you need to cum quicker.
> For instance, does she give you a lot of oral sex, up to the point where you are a few minutes away from cuming? if so, then just put it inside of her and bang away.
> 
> ...





Casual Observer said:


> @Rooster2015 If for any reason you're on a PDE5 ED med, such as Viagra or Cialis, you should try getting off them. Why? Because they reduce sensitivity, making it more difficult for some guys to orgasm. I'm an odd case in that I have first hand experience because I take Sildenafil (Viagra) for Raynauds, a circulation issue that causes your hands to turn cold as ice... not something women find very attractive in a guy. The triggers that cause it include colder temps and stress. More often than not I don't need to take it. So I have plenty of experience both ways, and can definitely say it deadens sensations.
> 
> Obviously, this may be completely irrelevant! Just tossing it out there, just in case.
> 
> ...


You could be right.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Personal said:


> Well that's nice of her to keep going, so you can get yours.
> 
> So unless you are looking to further limit your sex life with your wife, I encourage you to appreciate what you have.


Good advice. And trust me I do feel extremely lucky compared with other issues I’ve seem on here. I really believe I have to just be happy with what I have. Thanks to all that have replied.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

I have recently found I am in a similar situation. My wife started hormone therapy again recently, and clitoris is very sensitive. My wife does not orgasm from PIV alone (or very, very rarely), but once we start any sort of attention on her clitoris, she orgasms within a minute (or often less). Once she has one orgasm, she is done. She does allow me to go PIV and finish myself, but I can tell if it takes me too long, she has totally lost interest. She does not directly say anything, but I can tell. A few times, feeling too much pressure, I just lost interest and stopped. It felt a bit awkward. Similar to others advise above, I have started having my wife get me close, then I stop, give her an orgasm, then I can usually finish fairly quick. We also often try PIV and wait until I am fairly close, then she puts her vibrator on her clit and finishes within about 30 seconds, along with me. Not perfect, but we found ways to make it work.


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## cheapie (Aug 6, 2018)

Casual Observer said:


> @Rooster2015 If for any reason you're on a PDE5 ED med, such as Viagra or Cialis, you should try getting off them. Why? Because they reduce sensitivity, making it more difficult for some guys to orgasm. I'm an odd case in that I have first hand experience because I take Sildenafil (Viagra) for Raynauds, a circulation issue that causes your hands to turn cold as ice... not something women find very attractive in a guy. The triggers that cause it include colder temps and stress. More often than not I don't need to take it. So I have plenty of experience both ways, and can definitely say it deadens sensations.
> 
> Obviously, this may be completely irrelevant! Just tossing it out there, just in case.
> 
> ...


Ok, just have to chime in here. I'm not discounting your experience, Casual Observer, however, my husband got on Viagra BECAUSE it took him forever to come. No problem getting it up, ever, but his orgasm would take so long he would sometimes just lose his erection. His doctor recommended Viagra, and this fixed the issue. He's never said it deadened sensation for him - actually he gets even harder and his orgasms are more intense. So it's funny how it's kind of the opposite of your experience. I guess everyone's physiology is different.

I am kind of like the OP's wife - once I come (and it can be in multiple waves), I'm done. I do however, make sure my husband has his, as well. The trick for us, though, I think, is that I will manually and/or orally get him so much "on the edge" that he usually finishes within a minute of me. OP, if there are things that really "get you going" eg, anal or scrotal stimulation, whatever, you may want to suggest more of those to your wife to get you "closer" before PIV. 

Sounds like you guys basically have a good sex life and care about pleasing each other, which is a great thing.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Rooster2015 said:


> ...she's exhausted after. So the pressure is on me to hurry.


Does she actually ask you to hurry it up, or is that just all in your head. 

It could be that you have a responsive desire and need her to remain enthusiastic or else you loose your mojo. If that is the case you need to let your wife know that your drive is mostly responsive so that she can help accommodate you with some sounds of encouragement.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

If she's in a hurry, you could finish yourself off, on different parts of her body. 

This would relieve her of having to continue to exert effort while you have the visual of her before you.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

badsanta said:


> Does she actually ask you to hurry it up, or is that just all in your head.
> 
> It could be that you have a responsive desire and need her to remain enthusiastic or else you loose your mojo. If that is the case you need to let your wife know that your drive is mostly responsive so that she can help accommodate you with some sounds of encouragement.


Both. She starts to get sore. Normal for over 55 women. Part in my head as well.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

cheapie said:


> Ok, just have to chime in here. I'm not discounting your experience, Casual Observer, however, my husband got on Viagra BECAUSE it took him forever to come. No problem getting it up, ever, but his orgasm would take so long he would sometimes just lose his erection. His doctor recommended Viagra, and this fixed the issue. He's never said it deadened sensation for him - actually he gets even harder and his orgasms are more intense. So it's funny how it's kind of the opposite of your experience. I guess everyone's physiology is different.
> 
> I am kind of like the OP's wife - once I come (and it can be in multiple waves), I'm done. I do however, make sure my husband has his, as well. The trick for us, though, I think, is that I will manually and/or orally get him so much "on the edge" that he usually finishes within a minute of me. OP, if there are things that really "get you going" eg, anal or scrotal stimulation, whatever, you may want to suggest more of those to your wife to get you "closer" before PIV.
> 
> Sounds like you guys basically have a good sex life and care about pleasing each other, which is a great thing.


So my wife really wants me to cum as well. And she will continue with out complaining until it hurts at which time I stop. She has thinning of the vagina walls. Lots of lube only works so much. Just don’t want her in pain. It’s not all bad. She is great in bed. And you know what things could be a lot worse. large part of the time I cum just in time. And trust me she is a keeper for sure. But Between me knowing in my head I’ve got to go fairly quick and actually doing it is difficult For me.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I think you need to have a friendly conversation with her about doing it "your way" sometimes. Her way is a very good way, but you should get to do it some way where it's the right pace for you once in awhile, even if it means she doesn't get off. It's not easy to coordinate all that stuff for both people unless you just get lucky. Some women, once they get off, they're too sensitive to continue with anything and certainly no one wants to have a BJ to look forward to once they're spent. But once in awhile, doing something that prioritizes you getting off is a fair thing to ask. Just don't look a gift horse in the mouth though. You have a woman who loves sex and gets off. Like you said, you can live with it. Sounds to me like she needs to do a little more to you before PIV.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Rooster2015 said:


> Both. She starts to get sore. Normal for over 55 women. Part in my head as well.


are you using a lubricant? A 55 year old woman, no matter what she says, needs some lubricant!

Try edging her instead next time. Bring her close to orgasm, then stop just short of her cumming. then do it again, then stop short. then again. After an hour or so of that, she will be begging for the final orgasm. AND you will have taught her a little bit about delaying her cumming.

If she is so sensitive that she cums almost the first time you touch her, avoid her netherregions entirely....work on he boobs and nipples instead.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think you need to have a friendly conversation with her about doing it "your way" sometimes. Her way is a very good way, but you should get to do it some way where it's the right pace for you once in awhile, even if it means she doesn't get off. It's not easy to coordinate all that stuff for both people unless you just get lucky. Some women, once they get off, they're too sensitive to continue with anything and certainly no one wants to have a BJ to look forward to once they're spent. But once in awhile, doing something that prioritizes you getting off is a fair thing to ask. Just don't look a gift horse in the mouth though. You have a woman who loves sex and gets off. Like you said, you can live with it. Sounds to me like she needs to do a little more to you before PIV.


I agree. But I’ve been a women pleaser since day one. Not bragging just who I like sex. most of the time everything works out. It’s just a small amount that doesnt. For sure she gets wet. And extremely turned on but yes needs lube


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Talker67 said:


> are you using a lubricant? A 55 year old woman, no matter what she says, needs some lubricant!
> 
> Try edging her instead next time. Bring her close to orgasm, then stop just short of her cumming. then do it again, then stop short. then again. After an hour or so of that, she will be begging for the final orgasm. AND you will have taught her a little bit about delaying her cumming.
> 
> If she is so sensitive that she cums almost the first time you touch her, avoid her netherregions entirely....work on he boobs and nipples instead.


We edge all the time for her. All this we do.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

That's just part of being that age. I'm sure it will all work out.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Just because she likes lots of manual foreplay doesn’t mean she should get it every time, obviously that’s not fair to you. 

Have you told her that you actually don’t like to be rushed? That it isn’t as good for you when you rush? Bc if she doesn’t know there is a problem, she won’t change things. If you tell her, and she still doesn’t care... well that’s a whole different issue isn’t it? 

The solution... don’t do manual foreplay on her every time. Do you guys ever just have sex without forplay?


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Once I orgasm, I am exhausted as well. And I slowly stop getting wet and once that happens it starts to hurt. 

How long does it take your wife to orgasm without foreplay and just PIV?

According to studies, on average it takes men 5-7 minutes to orgasm, and women 13 minutes. I find that is dead on with me and my boyfriend, although he can hang in there and wait for me.

My question is... do you take a longer than average to reach orgasm? If yes, then there might be other issues. 

If your statically average, then stop edging her.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Girl_power said:


> Just because she likes lots of manual foreplay doesn’t mean she should get it every time, obviously that’s not fair to you.
> 
> Have you told her that you actually don’t like to be rushed? That it isn’t as good for you when you rush? Bc if she doesn’t know there is a problem, she won’t change things. If you tell her, and she still doesn’t care... well that’s a whole different issue isn’t it?
> 
> The solution... don’t do manual foreplay on her every time. Do you guys ever just have sex without forplay?


No we don’t rush forplay or go without. She is aware the problem is there. We’ve spoken about it a lot. To be honest I really haven’t pushed it. But thanks


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Rooster2015 said:


> I agree. But I’ve been a women pleaser since day one. Not bragging just who I like sex. most of the time everything works out. It’s just a small amount that doesnt. For sure she gets wet. And extremely turned on but yes needs lube


Is she on HRT. My wife is 52, hystorectomy at 42. She has been on testosterone cream, progesterone cream and estrodial. She does not need lube at all! Progesterone is a big help there.

How is your T levels? I have been on T for 11 yrs. At times when my levels are a bit high i can keep going and going and never get there.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Rooster2015 said:


> No we don’t rush forplay or go without.


Why not?


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## cheapie (Aug 6, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> are you using a lubricant? A 55 year old woman, no matter what she says, needs some lubricant!


Um, sorry if you think I'm lying, but I'm 56 and absolutely do not need lubricant....no dryness, no pain, ever. My GYN asks me each year at my checkup if I have any issues, because if I do, it's an easy fix, and I always tell him, "If I do, you'll be the second person I tell", lol. Guess I'm just lucky, I guess.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

cheapie said:


> Um, sorry if you think I'm lying, but I'm 56 and absolutely do not need lubricant....no dryness, no pain, ever. My GYN asks me each year at my checkup if I have any issues, because if I do, it's an easy fix, and I always tell him, "If I do, you'll be the second person I tell", lol. Guess I'm just lucky, I guess.


well, i can not say i am any sort of an expert! LOL
So i am going to believe you.

lets change it to "MANY mature women need the help of a lubricant"

what i am trying to get at, since this is a sex forum....is that for various reasons some women think they do not need any lubricant. then they have PIV sex, and it does not feel so well, because of the dryness. so maybe they do not equate one with the other, and stop having sex, which frustrates the hell out of their husband, when maybe just a little lube would change the equation completely. 

I am thinking it is similar to mature men swearing "i do not need viagra"....but then have trouble performing, and end up shying away from all sex from the anxiety. Sex should be something we are all truthful with ourselves about!


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Girl_power said:


> Once I orgasm, I am exhausted as well. And I slowly stop getting wet and once that happens it starts to hurt.
> 
> How long does it take your wife to orgasm without foreplay and just PIV?
> 
> ...


Glad to hear someone else with this. 3/4 of time I cum normal but once I see her head isn't in it I'm done. I'll try no forplay..ive never put a time to my orgasms. But I I know its over five minutes


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Divinely Favored said:


> Is she on HRT. My wife is 52, hystorectomy at 42. She has been on testosterone cream, progesterone cream and estrodial. She does not need lube at all! Progesterone is a big help there.
> 
> How is your T levels? I have been on T for 11 yrs. At times when my levels are a bit high i can keep going and going and never get there.


I have taken the T shots. She just last friday was placed on HRT from her gyno. So let’s see. The dr says the meds will help. She had hot flashes and other issues that the pills may help that as well. The dr says the cream is next if this doesn’t work.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Rooster2015 said:


> I have taken the T shots. She just last friday was placed on HRT from her gyno. So let’s see. The dr says the meds will help. She had hot flashes and other issues that the pills may help that as well. The dr says the cream is next if this doesn’t work.


Sounds like Dr is not really comfortable prescribing HRT. Most OB/GYNs will give estrogen to stop the hot flashes but are not concerned about clients sex life or brain health. They are just scared of the cancer related issues of women using SYNTHETIC estrogen of yester year. She needs to find a Wellness Clinic Dr. According to tge Chief Oncologist of The Womens Cancer Center of Baylor Medical Center in Dallas. She should be on all 3 meds if she has had hystorectomy. At least estrodial and testosterone most likely if not.

Testosterone drives sexual function and brain function. Why older people start getting forgetful and cant think, is decrease in testosterone levels.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Divinely Favored said:


> Sounds like Dr is not really comfortable prescribing HRT. Most OB/GYNs will give estrogen to stop the hot flashes but are not concerned about clients sex life or brain health. They are just scared of the cancer related issues of women using SYNTHETIC estrogen of yester year. She needs to find a Wellness Clinic Dr. According to tge Chief Oncologist of The Womens Cancer Center of Baylor Medical Center in Dallas. She should be on all 3 meds if she has had hystorectomy. At least estrodial and testosterone most likely if not.
> 
> Testosterone drives sexual function and brain function. Why older people start getting forgetful and cant think, is decrease in testosterone levels.


The med she is on is an estrogen hormonal med for hot flashes and vaginal issues. She has had a hystroectomy many years ago. Her dr ran a lot of tests before prescribing this med. I am hopeful this will help. Thanks for your help


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> are you using a lubricant? A 55 year old woman, no matter what she says, needs some lubricant!
> 
> Try edging her instead next time. Bring her close to orgasm, then stop just short of her cumming. then do it again, then stop short. then again. After an hour or so of that, she will be begging for the final orgasm. AND you will have taught her a little bit about delaying her cumming.
> 
> If she is so sensitive that she cums almost the first time you touch her, avoid her netherregions entirely....work on he boobs and nipples instead.


I'd disagree it's all women.

The reason I know, personally, is that DW gets wet, has wet orgasms, and unless we're doing a variety of things lubes isn't a requirement. 

But I would say lube is indeed a mature woman's and man's friend, probably mostly.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I'd disagree it's all women.
> 
> The reason I know, personally, is that DW gets wet, has wet orgasms, and unless we're doing a variety of things lubes isn't a requirement.
> 
> But I would say lube is indeed a mature woman's and man's friend, probably mostly.


You are lucky my friend. My wife gets wet. Just doesn't last.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Lube is indeed good for so much more besides PIV. 

We use it all over her body.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Lube is indeed good for so much more besides PIV.
> 
> We use it all over her body.


You talking message?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Rooster2015 said:


> The med she is on is an estrogen hormonal med for hot flashes and vaginal issues. She has had a hystroectomy many years ago. Her dr ran a lot of tests before prescribing this med. I am hopeful this will help. Thanks for your help


Does she wake up with hot flashes and night sweats? She needs progesterone cream from compounding pharmacy. My wife sleeps very well now except when dealing with reflux. She also notices big difference in lubrication when taking progesterone as opposed to just estrogen. Progesterone helps balance the testosterone/estrogen ratio.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Divinely Favored said:


> Does she wake up with hot flashes and night sweats? She needs progesterone cream from compounding pharmacy. My wife sleeps very well now except when dealing with reflux. She also notices big difference in lubrication when taking progesterone as opposed to just estrogen. Progesterone helps balance the testosterone/estrogen ratio.


She does but not an every night thing. She just got on a estrogen medication so I am encouraged to see what happens. But thanks I'll keep it in mind.


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