# Dress and ring



## snowy13

It has been a long time since I last visited this site. After being together almost 12 years, but only married just over a year, I moved out 15 months ago and my divorce was final 10 months ago. I am wondering what to do with my wedding dress and rings. I also have two other rings he gave me during our relationship.

I know people sometimes hang on to things like that but there is no chance of getting back together and I don't see any reason to hold on to items from my past. Thoughts would be greatly appreciated, thank you.


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## Dollystanford

sell, spend the money on a holiday or even paying down some debt

something that will make you feel better

I am not a sentimentalist - what are they going to do, sit in a box for the next ten years? No, get rid, clear the clutter, move forward!


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## Mavash.

Married 21 years and even I don't have the dress anymore.

I'm with dolly get rid of it, sell it, donate it, something but let it go. You'll feel much better. 

I'm not a sentimental person either.


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## that_girl

Sell it on Ebay or Craigslist.

I was going to say if you have children, have the dress made into a quilt. My gramma did that with her dress for my cousin when she got married (lucky betch). 

But no kids and a divorce? Ebay that shet. Have the jewelry melted down and design your own piece. My mom did that with her 3 rings. She made a nice pendant. Gold is gold.


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## snowy13

Thanks guys... I had been thinking about selling or donating the dress. I know donations are always nice, but I am going back to school so why not use the money to pay tuition.


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## YinPrincess

You've got good ideas already. I like the idea of transforming them into "new" pieces of jewelry. (Sell the dress... But it would make a rockin' Halloween costume!) LoL!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pidge70

I've wondered how you have been. It seems you are in a better place. Best wishes to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snowy13

Thank you pidge70 - I am doing wonderful and in a really good place.


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## pidge70

That is such great news! Kudos to you girl!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman

I sold my wedding band for the gold and took myself out for a very nice expensive meal including wine accompaniment for each course. I never had an engagement ring or any other jewelry from him except pearls which I'm saving for our daughter.


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## snowy13

Well the dress is listed... it was hard to open it up so I could take pictures. It will be hard to let go but I need to.


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## proudwidaddy

I sold my wedding ring from my ex wife and took my wo kids to a baseball game...great seats too!


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## snowy13

I still haven't decided what to do with the rings, one thing at a time I guess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias

sold the ring,bought a new car.

I was a little more psycho and obsessive about the dress though.I hung it on a hanger in my spare bedroom.Every day I felt angry I'd go and cut a piece off the dress then I'd throw it in the trash after shredding that one piece.

I visited that room less and less as time went on.I got a little over halfway through the thing before I decided I felt ok with throwing the rest in the trash.


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## vi_bride04

I left my wedding dress in the closet when I moved out and have the ring. I'm gonna sell it and its going to help pay for my trip to Cancun


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## EnjoliWoman

ScarletBegonias said:


> sold the ring,bought a new car.
> 
> I was a little more psycho and obsessive about the dress though.I hung it on a hanger in my spare bedroom.Every day I felt angry I'd go and cut a piece off the dress then I'd throw it in the trash after shredding that one piece.
> 
> I visited that room less and less as time went on.I got a little over halfway through the thing before I decided I felt ok with throwing the rest in the trash.


Wow, I was obviously short-changed on the ring. I was considerate because he was a law student. Dammit.


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## ScarletBegonias

EnjoliWoman said:


> Wow, I was obviously short-changed on the ring. I was considerate because he was a law student. Dammit.


LOL I wasn't able to buy the whole car w/the ring.Just the down payment and taxes..which is still really awesome.

big ring...big piece of crap marriage :rofl:


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## snowy13

That makes me curious, he always talked up the ring (that should have been another flag, why did he need to brag about it?) but I never found out the actual diamond size or worth. I wonder how much truth there really is to it all. I am moving in the next few months and in school... some extra change would be very nice - but no hit on the dress yet


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## ScarletBegonias

don't look to get anywhere near what the ring is actually appraised for or anywhere near what he paid for it.

It was disappointing to know such an expensive ring in a jewelry store is worth so little compared to the pricetag.


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## snowy13

Oh I know... I'm just curious what it was originally worth.


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## ScarletBegonias

you know where he bought it from? if you do,i bet it's still on their website or in their store.


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## snowy13

I know where 2 of the 4 came from, never thought to look it up... thanks!


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## ScarletBegonias

good luck on your search


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## snowy13

Thanks.


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## office girlie

U might sell that dress on a place called POSHMARK / saw it on my FB page this morning. Place where people sell things our of their own closets


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## snowy13

I'll have to check it out. I have it listed on ebay right now... kind of a long shot but thought I would try.


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## Freak On a Leash

My STBXH asked for his wedding ring back. I gave it to him and he said he didn't care what I did with my rings so I'm going to sell them. 

I have the dress packed away. I'm wondering what shape it's in. It's a beautiful 100% silk dress. Cost $1300 24 years ago. At one time I was saving it for my daughter but it's definitely not her style and after all that's gone down I doubt she'd want to wear it so I think I'm going to unpack the dress and try to sell it as well. 

No, I'm not sentimental but I am broke.


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## snowy13

Nothing wrong with a little extra cash


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## snowy13

Hey guys, so no bites on the dress yet. Any suggestions on where to post it? How about the rings? Thanks!


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## Love And Light

If I had children with my XH I would keep the jewelry and give it to the children. But I don't. And I find it weird wearing jewelry from my previous marriage when I am around my BF. To fully move on you have to release everything from the past this includes material possessions as well! My ring is for sale but not sold yet. I need to list my dress but unsure the best ay to do that, it was very expensive so I want to sell it right!!!


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## Luonnotar

My daughter loves to dress up, so I gave her the dress. 
As for the ring, I'm going to have the stones reset into a necklace and give it to my daughter. It'll make a nice one, and won't carry the curse of a failed marriage along with it in a new setting.
(Nope. Not at all bitter about him cheating, lying, and stealing.)


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## Freak On a Leash

Love And Light said:


> If I had children with my XH I would keep the jewelry and give it to the children.


Not if your marriage was awful you wouldn't. Would you really want to give a symbol of your failed marriage to your child? I wouldn't do that to my kids, especially my daughter. 

I plan to take the dress out of it's storage box and take some pics and put it on Craig's List but I have better things to do right now like my taxes and divorce settlement but I'll get around to it.


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## Luonnotar

Satya said:


> I let my cats use my dress for shredding practice before I moved out. They were thrilled.


I love it!:rofl:


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## Holland

I really miss wearing my engagement ring, we had it made so it is a one off. 

Do you guys think it is odd that if I were to ever marry again I would want to use my old ring?


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## Luonnotar

I don't think it's odd. I love my ring. It was custom made for me, and I always loved it.
However, every time I look at it I am reminded that my husband left me for someone else, and instead of making me happy and beautiful like it used to, now it makes me feel depressed and ugly.
If you don't have a reaction like that, then why not?
When my sister got remarried, she used the stones from her wedding ring and her husbands ring to create a new one. They viewed it as making something new and better out of their past.


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## Freak On a Leash

Holland said:


> Do you guys think it is odd that if I were to ever marry again I would want to use my old ring?


 Odd? No. A bad idea? YES. I wouldn't even go there.

I think what Luonnatar's sister did was OK because her new husband was in on it and they both decided together and did indeed create something new. Kinda of nice idea actually. 

I guess if your new husband was OK with it I'd be wondering about it. I'd assume he was looking to save the money by using your old ring. If were him I wouldn't want to reuse the ring you had from your failed first marriage. It's like chewing gum that's already been chewed by someone else or something. 

At the very least, it's symbol from a failed marriage that ended badly. I'm all for starting over, on a clean slate and not having the past tug at me. If I was marrying someone and they wanted to reuse the ring from their old marriage I would be very uncomfortable with it. It would not be something I'd look at unfavorably and I would question WHY they wanted to use it. 

To each his/her own though. Glad I don't want to get remarried. Dealing with the first marriage was bad enough.


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## Holland

Luonnotar said:


> I don't think it's odd. I love my ring. It was custom made for me, and I always loved it.
> However, every time I look at it I am reminded that my husband left me for someone else, and instead of making me happy and beautiful like it used to, now it makes me feel depressed and ugly.
> If you don't have a reaction like that, then why not?
> When my sister got remarried, she used the stones from her wedding ring and her husbands ring to create a new one. They viewed it as making something new and better out of their past.


This is an idea to keep in mind. Currently my rings are just sitting in the safe and I know you cannot sell them for anywhere near what they are valued at. The diamond is a beautiful, large square cut one which I would like to wear again one day, in an engagement ring or other ring.
My daughter will end up with them anyway.

I don't have bad feelings about my marriage or divorce so that's not an issue. However if it was an issue for my partner then I would respect that.


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## Freak On a Leash

Sounds like a nice ring. You could always take the diamond and have it reset and use it as a ring or necklace in general. Lots of people do that. Or, if your daughter wants it, give it to her. 

My daughter wanted NOTHING to do with my ring. Can't say I blame her and I didn't want to give it to her because it's a symbol of bad things as far as I'm concerned and she feels the same way. I just wanted to be rid of it. I hadn't worn it in years it was a small diamond anyway. 

But I'm not a very sentimental person. I tend to walk away from things and people very easily. I will say that when the guy was looking at it I feel a pang of sadness, but when he handed me over the money that went away. 

It's interesting that my STBXH asked for his ring back and told me that he would be keeping it. Heh, I can see him using it again if he ever got remarried.


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## snowy13

Still no bites on the dress... maybe I'm asking too much. I haven't even tried with the rings yet, too many other things right now  I like the cats idea... I am moving in March so maybe if it doesn't sell I'll just go that route!

The latest thing is I keep getting mail here for my ex... I am currently living at my parents house until the move and he hasn't lived at this address since 2009! I was nice at first and told him I got some mail and asked for the forwarding address. When things kept coming I told him I was done dealing with it and just returned it to the post office. Now more and more, clearly important things keep coming... do I just keep sending it back?


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## EleGirl

You might do best to take the rings to a jewelry store that has an 'estate' case... that's the nice way to day used jewelry. 

They will appraise the rings and put them on display. When they sell the store will take a % of the sale. 

Unfortunately used jewelry seldom sells for what was paid for it when originally purchased.

I would be very reluctant to sell expensive jewelry over craigslist. Do you have a safe place to show it? I’d be afraid of some punks showing up and robbing me.

For the dress, have you looked for one of the higher end second hand clothing stores? You might be able to sell the dress to one of them.

Or donate it and take a tax deduction for the price of the dress.


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## snowy13

I won't sell the rings online, when I have time I'll go to a jewelry store. Maybe I'll look into second hand shops for my dress... thanks.


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