# CRAZY situation!



## cgeorgiou23 (Jul 29, 2013)

(I have copied and pasted this from another forum I posted on so all of it may not be 'appropriate' for here)

I am in a sticky situation and most of you may think it's crazy (not a reaction I/we haven't experienced before). 

I was 16 when I met my girlfriend online, she was the neighbor of my dad when he moved to Texas back in 2008. (I still lived in England). I was friends with her daughter on Facebook and that's how we met. So we got talking, fell in love.. however, she is married to a guy. 
So situation one - Same sex, 29 years apart, already married. 
As we talked more and opened up more, I found out she has never loved her husband, never felt anything for him and always wanted away because of the man he is .. she stayed married for 26 years out of fear. 

My ex "online boyfriend" had hacked my emails and found an intimate email sent between me and her and forwarded it to her husband, so it all blows up. We knew, this is what we wanted, we were in love and we weren't going to let go of each other, so we kept fighting. Now 1 year, 6 months later - They are still married but we have met each other and had GREAT times and their divorce is hanging in the balance. Every time she tries to leave, he has printed several copies of this intimate email from when I were 16 and threatens to turn those papers in along with filing for divorce. He is so convinced he is going to get her jailed for 10 years. 

Now, I wrote to her husband on Facebook saying please can you not talking about me publicly (after he posted a status about me) and if you have something to discuss, please stop taking it to my father, I am here, I can talk for myself. And I received very ugly threats what he is going to do to me, how I'm his worst enemy, he's going to shoot me, he's going to cause hell in the worst way possible for me, he's going to punish me and calling me names etc... all the while I stayed calm and explained your son is 16 years old, your daughter is 22, they still need their mother and as you travel for your job, there is nobody to support them if you wish to get her put in jail.

So that's the story cut kinda short (LOL) .. the main questions I want to ask is:-

Does she stay with him and continue pretending and being scared and abused?
Does she say DO IT, I am leaving either way!
Is this just an angry spouse looking for revenge who's going to make this divorce hell??

We are both broken and so scared, we don't know what to do!


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Wooow. I assume you are 18 now, or pretty close to it, making her 47? A few things here...

For starters, unless he has better evidence against her than a few intimate text conversations, then his threats are pretty empty. (he'd need witnesses, video/pictures, or audio confessions to get a conviction without your testimony) But even without the criminal threat, I'm sure the divorce would still go badly for her when the judge learns of your relationship. In a state like Texas, he'll get whatever he wants.

Next, you need to remember that an unhappy spouse will often remember the past very very differently from reality when they are opening up to a new illicit significant other. So take what she says about their marriage, "I found out she has never loved her husband, never felt anything for him and always wanted away because of the man he is .. she stayed married for 26 years out of fear" with a grain of salt. All of that is basically music to your ears as it could lead you to believe she isn't attracted to men, there is zero reason why she would want to stay with him, and she is still trustworthy despite her adultery. So again, I hear what you are saying, but you need to realize that there are lots of reasons for her to say those things to you, and the truth isn't necessarily one of them. ALL cheating spouses have to find ways to demonize their spouses, both to set their adulterous partner at ease and in order to sleep at night themselves. After all, It's wrong to cheat on a man who is abusive, irresponsible, has anger problems, gambles, etc. but most people will forgive that. They won't forgive someone who cheats on a decent guy who loves his wife, that just makes her a really horrible person. No one wants to accept that they are a bad person, so they have to repaint their memories and portray their spouse in a negative light in order to feel good about the wrong choices they are making. It works the same way in reverse. In order for you to not feel like a horrible human being for your involvement in this, you really have to believe that he is a terrible, abusive man.

So what is she scared of? She can't get put in jail for this. (at least not without your help) She could have her reputation destroyed for engaging in a lesbian affair with a minor and lose the respect of her children/friends/family, which she sort of deserves after all. Honestly I don't think their marriage is quite as bad as she has presented it or she would have gone ahead and moved on, as she clearly isn't afraid of the ramifications of her relationship with you or she would have ended it. I think the 26 years of marriage is stronger evidence of this than her simply telling you she never loved the guy.

Lastly, good God girl, you can't really believe that this relationship would work long term right? You are WAY too young to have any idea what you want long term. The age gap is waaay to large to be able to sustain a relationship. You haven't hardly spent any real amount of time with her to connect at any non-physical level. And you are willing to help trash a marriage for it all.

Seriously, honestly and truly, do the right thing and let this married man and wife resolve their issues without your adulterous interference. I'm not trying to be mean or hateful or hurtful here, in fact I'd rather see the most good done by you walking away. Don't encourage this woman to sacrifice everything important to her in the world for something that WILL NOT WORK OUT, like her kids, friends, family, home, job perhaps, etc. Whether she can go to jail for it or not, she still committed a crime and that fact won't be lost on anyone in her life. Your involvement here is and will be nothing but destructive.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You are way too young to be mixed up in this mess. 

And older women has basically taken advantage of you and now her husband is threatening you. Have you discussed with your father?

Did you keep copies of emails/texts of her husband threatening you? You or your father could turn those over to the FBI. It's a crime to threaten to harm/kill someone. You might want to remind him that you have copies of his threats of harming you. That you will being turning the into the FBI if he does not back down and stop threatening you and his wife.

I do feel sorry for him on some levels. His wife cheated on him.. with an underage kid. Not a good thing at all.

Your relationship with this women will never work. It's based on long distance fantasy. Your best bet is to just move on with your life. Forget her. She's obviously a mess and a drama queen. Surely you can do better than that.


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