# Separation question for men & women



## Eliserobin78 (Jun 8, 2013)

After separation are you happy or just coping? Are you still considering divorce? Did separation help your marriage or hurt. I give you a little back ground on my story.
I've know my husband since we were 15 years old. We got married almost 8 yrs ago. We always had our ups in downs, break ups, and of course seem to get back together. Despite our crazy relationship I guess love was always on our side. After we got married we decided to start a family. Well after a year of trying we dealt with infertility issues. So after countless months of trying to fix the problem nothing worked. We decided to try Invitro. On the 1st try we got pregnant & had a baby boy who is now 3. Fasting forwarding it to present my husband told me about a year and half ago he was unhappy. His been unhappy for year. His unhappiness start when our infertility started. He proceed to tell me our relationship was stale, old, not fun, and just was not into it. Well 3 months ago I find out he was having a affair for a year in a half. He said he fell in love with her, and wanted to be with her, they are sooo compatible together, they are like soul mates! i felt like i was listening to a teenager. Needless to say the woman he was having a affair with was suppose to leave her husband but never did. My husband still once to leave because his heart is not there anymore. Nothing is the same & he don't think we can get it back. I told him I could not go go through with divorce so we decided to separation. I guess our ultimate goal is divorce. I guessing I'm asking for any advice I can at this time.


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

Hi Eliserobin, First let me say how sorry I am that your going through this. I know the pain of betrayel and lost love. Its hard to give someone advice without being there and knowing all the facts, but I would reccomend you do the "180". not only accept his leaving but put mandates regarding it. Its going to just about kill you.. no lie... but it is better to act on his rejection now rather than trying to put a bandaid on it and give another 10 years of your life to a man that one, has lied to you, two he has broken your wedding vows, and three now tells you he doesnt love you. If you look up some of the very helpful sites on here regarding the 180 and ways to fix and concentrate on yourself right now, your marriage might very well be saved. At the very least or should I say most you will experience a streanghting power that you didnt know you had. I wish I could have found this website and learned these stratiges years before. When my husband first told me he had fallen in love. instead I fought and fought and won my husband back only to be going through it again.


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