# Orgasm question (Wife and PIV)



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

My wife almost never has an orgasm through intercourse, but there is zero issues getting her to O thru using hands or oral. I would love it if my wife would O thru PIV sex 100% of the time (or at least have them regularly), but I'm not going to sweat it because she can have an orgasm any time she wants one - I'm more than eager to oblige!  We have a satisfying sex life overall.

I've talked to my wife numerous times about trying to get her to orgasm via intercourse. I'd say about 50% of the time (at least), she will build for an orgasm and she says she'll get right to the edge and then it will fade away. After we're done, I'll rub her clit to get her to orgasm. On occasion, she will achieve an orgasm thru intercourse, but it's never as strong for her as an orgasm thru clitoral stimulation. I would say that her favorite way to orgasm is for me to rub her after we have sex. Since she's told me that intercourse is very enjoyable but not typically orgasmic for her, I don't sweat it. 

Here's the question: Is it possible that my wife actually has more orgasms via intercourse than we realize? I'm starting to wonder if the way she describes the buildup during intercourse as getting to the top of a hill and then just sliding back down it is in fact an orgasm - just a small, weak one?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I guess that's possible. Have you looked into coital alignment techniques? I hope I got that right. You position your body where your penis stays in contact with the clitoris all the time. 

Give it a shot. I have been doing it for a while with some good to fair results. I believe it would be better if it wasn't for menopause.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Thound said:


> I guess that's possible. Have you looked into coital alignment techniques? I hope I got that right. You position your body where your penis stays in contact with the clitoris all the time.
> 
> Give it a shot. I have been doing it for a while with some good to fair results. I believe it would be better if it wasn't for menopause.




That's what my wifee likes as well. I position myself a few inches higher up on her, I'm always in contact with her clitoris as we have PIV and she likes this, moans, sighs, I can tell. She even grabs my butt and pulls in hard. I can last longer too but I don't think my wifee has had an orgasm from this. Most enjoyable position for her besides doggie style and her legs are tight together while mine are on the outside.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Some women can't through piv sex, it is what it is. They require more direct stimulation...I can sometimes when during missionary if my hb's angle is good, but I can't through any other position without direct stimulation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

I don't understand why men are so fixated on orgasm through PIV--and seemingly PIV alone. Why does it matter?

I like it best when I orgasm before him, as it means multiples are now on the table. I'll rarely orgasm through PIV alone, but all he needs to do to fix that is just add in a little extra stimulation.

Or, depending on position and possible reach, I'll do it myself


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

I second the coital alignment technique! My wife loves it and she is able to orgasm in this position. It only works if she is really wet from oral.
We sometimes like to finish in the CAT position when we like to take things slow. I love it because it really enhances my orgasm.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Here's the question: Is it possible that my wife actually has more orgasms via intercourse than we realize? I'm starting to wonder if the way she describes the buildup during intercourse as getting to the top of a hill and then just sliding back down it is in fact an orgasm - just a small, weak one?


If you redefine a sneeze as an orgasm, then throw some pepper in her face during the act, you can have your wish too.

I think by now your wife probably knows what an orgasm feels like. She can't get there with PIV, which puts her in company with the majority of the population. I guess she could start calling it an orgasm if it makes you feel better. This sounds to me more orgamantics argument.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

always_alone said:


> I don't understand why men are so fixated on orgasm through PIV--and seemingly PIV alone. Why does it matter?
> 
> I like it best when I orgasm before him, as it means multiples are now on the table. I'll rarely orgasm through PIV alone, but all he needs to do to fix that is just add in a little extra stimulation.
> 
> Or, depending on position and possible reach, I'll do it myself


Because it makes us feel like a man, or that's what we see in pornos either way we like it (ego)


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Thound said:


> Because it makes us feel like a man, or that's what we see in pornos either way we like it (ego)


I was going to suggest porn but I figured the men would get their backs up. I'm glad you said it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

I think the answer to your question is she is probably not having more orgasms than you think. My wife is the same; she needs clitoral stimulation. We always use a position where I can stimulate her with my finger or she can use a vibe. The only exception is when she is on top (better for clitoral stimulation anyway) and I suck on her tits. She can have her best orgasms that way.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

always_alone said:


> I don't understand why men are so fixated on orgasm through PIV--and seemingly PIV alone. Why does it matter?


One of the reasons I LOVE PIV orgasms is simultaneous orgasms. That is a sensation like no other when it's PIV.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Cletus said:


> If you redefine a sneeze as an orgasm, then throw some pepper in her face during the act, you can have your wish too.
> 
> I think by now your wife probably knows what an orgasm feels like. She can't get there with PIV, which puts her in company with the majority of the population. I guess she could start calling it an orgasm if it makes you feel better. This sounds to me more orgamantics argument.


I see where you are going with your statement, and you misunderstand where I'm coming from. I'm not trying to make myself feel better by redefining what an orgasm is. Question was posed simply to get people's input, that's all.

One reason why I ask is based on the act of conceiving a child. A man's orgasm is critical to conceiving for obvious reasons. For the woman, is her orgasm required for conception? I thought it played a role since I thought her orgasm helps to move semen into the cervix. Am I wrong? IDK, it's been a long time since health class. If I'm correct, then it would reason that female orgasms should be more common if it does play a role in conception.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

romantic_guy said:


> I think the answer to your question is she is probably not having more orgasms than you think. My wife is the same; she needs clitoral stimulation. We always use a position where I can stimulate her with my finger or she can use a vibe. The only exception is when she is on top (better for clitoral stimulation anyway) and I suck on her tits. She can have her best orgasms that way.


You're probably right and that's my thought too. My last GF could have multiples via PIV. I chalk it up to differences between their physical makeup. We still have our fun.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I see where you are going with your statement, and you misunderstand where I'm coming from. I'm not trying to make myself feel better by redefining what an orgasm is. Question was posed simply to get people's input, that's all.
> 
> One reason why I ask is based on the act of conceiving a child. A man's orgasm is critical to conceiving for obvious reasons. For the woman, is her orgasm required for conception? I thought it played a role since I thought her orgasm helps to move semen into the cervix. Am I wrong? IDK, it's been a long time since health class. If I'm correct, then it would reason that female orgasms should be more common if it does play a role in conception.


Technically, a woman's orgasm produces fluttering and a dipping of the cervix to draw seminal fluid already deposited. So if it was just for best procreative practices, then the presence of seminal fluid would produce the orgasm all by itself. If only... right gentlemen?

The question is still being asked and no definitive answers have been found as yet. Best hypothesis out there is that a woman's orgasm is vital for her to WANT to pair bond. If it was a simple matter of needing help with resources, we would live in harems or polyamorus societies.

As to your original question, the most likely way to orgasm via PIV alone is the position that most stretches her entire vulva area, not just her vagina, such as doggy. 
The Internal Clitoris | Museum of Sex Blog


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Thound said:


> Because it makes us feel like a man, or that's what we see in pornos either way we like it (ego)


Most of the commercially marketed produced porn is for males and focused on the male domination aspect of sex and throw in some degredation.

The pleasuring is done for the male, i guess for males viewing the materials to have jack off material.

In any case on most mass produced porn, I DO NOT SEE WOMEN ORGASM.

Heck, they aren't even warmed up for the act...


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## Gseries (Jan 6, 2013)

Here's the question: Is it possible that my wife actually has more orgasms via intercourse than we realize? I'm starting to wonder if the way she describes the buildup during intercourse as getting to the top of a hill and then just sliding back down it is in fact an orgasm - just a small, weak one?[/QUOTE]

Answer, no. Yes men care. Why? Because we want to please our wives. Do women care about piv O? Probably not as much as men think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Semen has to be present near the cervix for a woman's orgasm to play a role in conception. So in fact your wife's preference to have an orgasm after sex would be better for procreation. 

Anyway, no. If your wife doesn't think it's an orgasm then it isn't one.


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Here's the question: Is it possible that my wife actually has more orgasms via intercourse than we realize? I'm starting to wonder if the way she describes the buildup during intercourse as getting to the top of a hill and then just sliding back down it is in fact an orgasm - just a small, weak one?


This was the case for me. I didn't recognize my vaginal (or "g spot") orgasms as orgasms because they didn't feel like the clitoral orgasms I'd been having since I was, I don't know, twelve years old?

I loved the way PIV felt, and would notice how the pleasure would build and peak in intensity several times during PIV sex. I didn't consider them orgasms until I read about the g spot and its function as orgasmic. With some help from my husband's talented fingers (and what he learned from his research), I've learned that g spot orgasms can be quite intense. And that I'm a squirter. 

But I almost always want a clitoral orgasm to end the session. That's the one that leaves me gasping for air, hanging off the side of the bed, unable to more or see or breathe.  I can't have those during PIV, but that doesn't bother me one bit. 

My husband can give me simultaneous g-spot and clitoral orgasms. Now THAT is the gold standard.


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## bigfoot (Jan 22, 2014)

Statistically, a huge percentage of women don't have PIV orgasms. If you are watching porn, it has lied to you. Some women need direct manual stimulation from a hand or other body part, i.e. tongue. Some women are easy to make orgasm, some come multiple times, some flop around like fish, others are so quiet you wonder if they are asleep, and some take forever. The point is, if you get her to the promised land, she's happy. All of the freaky stuff may be fun, but it is the "O" that seals the deal. If you are giving them to her, no matter how, then she is satisfied. If you want to blow her mind, try taking her close and letting her get close to the big "O" and then lingering for a while, coming back down and then finally finishing. Trust me, whether you get her there by hand, foot, mouth or feather (yeah, I said feather, so what), she is gonna be perfectly, dreamily, exhaustedly content.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

bigfoot said:


> Statistically, a huge percentage of women don't have PIV orgasms. If you are watching porn, it has lied to you. Some women need direct manual stimulation from a hand or other body part, i.e. tongue. Some women are easy to make orgasm, some come multiple times, some flop around like fish, others are so quiet you wonder if they are asleep, and some take forever. The point is, if you get her to the promised land, she's happy. All of the freaky stuff may be fun, but it is the "O" that seals the deal. If you are giving them to her, no matter how, then she is satisfied. If you want to blow her mind, try taking her close and letting her get close to the big "O" and then lingering for a while, coming back down and then finally finishing. Trust me, whether you get her there by hand, foot, mouth or feather (yeah, I said feather, so what), she is gonna be perfectly, dreamily, exhaustedly content.


What you see in porn in no way shape or form resembles what it would look like to pleasure a female.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> My wife almost never has an orgasm through intercourse, but there is zero issues getting her to O thru using hands or oral. I would love it if my wife would O thru PIV sex 100% of the time (or at least have them regularly), but I'm not going to sweat it because she can have an orgasm any time she wants one - I'm more than eager to oblige!  We have a satisfying sex life overall.
> 
> I've talked to my wife numerous times about trying to get her to orgasm via intercourse. I'd say about 50% of the time (at least), she will build for an orgasm and she says she'll get right to the edge and then it will fade away. After we're done, I'll rub her clit to get her to orgasm. On occasion, she will achieve an orgasm thru intercourse, but it's never as strong for her as an orgasm thru clitoral stimulation. I would say that her favorite way to orgasm is for me to rub her after we have sex. Since she's told me that intercourse is very enjoyable but not typically orgasmic for her, I don't sweat it.
> 
> Here's the question: Is it possible that my wife actually has more orgasms via intercourse than we realize? I'm starting to wonder if the way she describes the buildup during intercourse as getting to the top of a hill and then just sliding back down it is in fact an orgasm - just a small, weak one?


Just found this...


> _Research shows that 90 percent of the problems women have in achieving orgasm stem from a psychological nature. That's good news because it's all about you and it can be overcome. Dr. Phil offers the following advice:
> 
> If you can achieve an orgasm alone, but not with a partner, you may have performance anxiety.
> Being anxious, worried or feeling pressured to have an orgasm with your partner can work against you. Anxiety is an arousal response — it can cause tension. An orgasm is a relaxation response. Those two are incompatible.
> ...


My wife often uses a vibrating bullet directly on her clitoris during PIV. A few weeks ago I asked her why...specifically, does she _need_ it to orgasm...she says she doesn't, but that the bullet merely gives her a much more intense orgasm than just PIV. 

Likewise, after 25 years of having sex, I can get my wife's G spot with PIV, with just the right angle and position. And she tells me that each orgasm - PIV, G-Spot, Clitoris, is unique and realized differently. 

Of course, being a man, I can't describe what a woman feels when having any form of orgasm. But I definitely never need to ask if she had one...it's quite apparent...


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

john1068 said:


> Of course, being a man, I can't describe what a woman feels when having any form of orgasm.


Unless you are Mike Huckabee
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

My wife prefers to have orgasms from PiV. She has them many different ways, but loves them the most that way.

For her to have one that way, she needs to be on top. She can then stimulate her clit by moving back and forth as opposed to up and down. As the years have gone on, she has the ability to go up and down and back and forth which is amazing for me.

I'm not sure if this will work for all women, but it works amazing for us. Hope it can work for everyone who tries it also.


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