# Busy week at the courthouse...



## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Well she served me today. She had a personal trainer friend of hers come to the clinic and hand me the papers right before I left for morning practice. 

At first I thought he was going to ask me for a job or something, so I just made him wait. He was so nervous as he looked about the clinic. I asked him to take a seat, but he said he "needed to talk to me in my office".

I informed him that he was in my office and to just speak. The next part was friggin odd. He then proceeded to remove my summons papers for divorce from inside his sweat pants.

I was a little dismayed. I believe my exact words were an exasperated "really, you couldn't have used a brief case or something guy?" It was surreal, like a drug deal going down or something. 

I told him to just place them on the table. He seemed shocked I wasn't upset. I informed him that I know my wife better than he does, and this is a good thing from my perspective.

So there you have it...a busy week indeed at the courthouse.

LIL


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## morningdew (Jan 14, 2010)

WOW! I wish you all the best LIL for your court.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

How long is the waiting period, for a divorce, in CA?

Hang in there...


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

6 months. Rest assured your wife told him you would go postal. Mine told the guy who served me just that.


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## crisis1008 (Mar 9, 2010)

I am sorry, LIL. I don't understand where these people get the guts from. I want to be able to divorce my hsuband, but have not had the guts to finalize it.

Its good to hear that, from you perspective, this is a good thing. You appear to have your emotions in check. I had my emotions at bay for a long time, but I think they may be creeping back up on me. I wish my husband wanted a divorce. He just won't let me move on and find happiness.

While I feel for your situation, I sort of wish it was my situation instead. I have even relented and agreed out of town with my husband for the weekend, but don't really want to. I almost envy you.

That must seem sickening, huh.

Hey, don't give her anything! She doesn't deserve it!

How are your children handling all of this?

- CRISIS


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## Carefulthoughts (Jan 21, 2010)

I had my wife served out of a defensive stance. It is obvious my wife has some deep issues she needs to work on and the way she is acting is like I have no idea who she is. But I realize if the woman I fell in love with is real , if she really wanted to work on her issues I would be here to go to counseling with her. But if she disregards whats real like she has with me then in acouple of months she will be totally free of me. I do miss her and still love her (the woman I fell in love with)


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

I am at a conference right now. The first day went well, and I completely nailed the first patient scenario. I am surprised though by how much "cross talk" there is between peers as a number of people gave me their "sincere" regrets today regarding my "situation". 

It seems men gossip too. I guess it's just the overall novelty of my "crime". No one seems to actually know anyone aside from me who has ever been actually served with a restraining order. That stuff only happens on episodes of COPS. If I had just been caught screwing some nurse it would have been no big deal; business as usual in the medical community. It probably didn't help my cause with the whole restraining order thing that I keep a Mastering Jujitsu book tucked in my laptop backpack. Well needless to say, no one messed with my stuff when we went on break.

Anyway, time to go have some dinner with some friends.

LIL


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I have never met anyone who was deeply into martial arts who was a head case. They are all into the discipline thing and are the least likely people in the world to try to intimidate / bully others. 




lastinline said:


> I am at a conference right now. The first day went well, and I completely nailed the first patient scenario. I am surprised though by how much "cross talk" there is between peers as a number of people gave me their "sincere" regrets today regarding my "situation".
> 
> It seems men gossip too. I guess it's just the overall novelty of my "crime". No one seems to actually know anyone aside from me who has ever been actually served with a restraining order. That stuff only happens on episodes of COPS. If I had just been caught screwing some nurse it would have been no big deal; business as usual in the medical community. It probably didn't help my cause with the whole restraining order thing that I keep a Mastering Jujitsu book tucked in my laptop backpack. Well needless to say, no one messed with my stuff when we went on break.
> 
> ...


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Hahahhaa sweatpants. OMG how weak.

I'd be tempted to ask for a second copy that didn't smell faintly of urine...


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

MEM11363 said:


> I have never met anyone who was deeply into martial arts who was a head case. They are all into the discipline thing and are the least likely people in the world to try to intimidate / bully others.


Yeah, that's the truth but what I have learned throughout this divorce (restraining order included) is that the truth means diddly and perception is what wins your case.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

MEM11363 said:


> I have never met anyone who was deeply into martial arts who was a head case. They are all into the discipline thing and are the least likely people in the world to try to intimidate / bully others.



I would generally agree with that statement, however when you're short on ammunition often times you are forced to improvise. She is just looking for ammunition to make herself appear a little less sullied before the court. 

I'm not suriprised at all she is hurling some sticks and stones in my direction. "I left him because of abuse" sounds a whole lot better to friends and family than "he left me because I cheated on him."

I am getting the feeling that this is going to become the ugly divorce of ugly divorces, and it'll have very little to do with me. At this point, even the "bridge of friendship" has been blown. I will be civil with her hence forth, but it'll be a cold and distant form of civil. 

LIL


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

I e-mailed her today about having the TRO rescinded. I think I got her message. The long and short is I haven't seen my kids in a week, and that sucks. If she talks with her lawyer tomorrow then hopefully everything can be done before I finish up my training in LA. Here's to pipe dreams.

LIL


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

LIL~

If I remember correctly, you can not contact her with a restraining order in place so you may well have just dug your own grave. Please I do literally beg of you to not contact her at all in any way until you've spoken to your attorney. I know that it sucks to not have a home or see your kids, and when the time is right you can allow her to experience the consequence of this action, but that time is NOT now. Now the time is to be cool, obey the restraining order, and let others fight the fight for you...on your behalf. Seriously, trust me contacting her could have life-altering repercussions ESPECIALLY since she is not thinking rationally but vindictively and with malice of forethought.

If she has any brains she will run straight to her attorney with your email as proof that you are harassing her and pressuring her, and now you've fallen right into their hands. Thankfully she does not have brains, so if she replies keep her response (as proof there was no threat and she broke it just as much as you did) and then don't contact her again. If she files for an RO, the order should say "neither party can contact the other" and that would mean that she can not contact you; if there is contact, it is her job to call police or her attorney and report it and if she doesn't or if she contacts you via emails etc., you can use it to your advantage (LATER! at the actual court date) to show that she didn't actually fear you. 

*An RO means NO CONTACT with her no matter what*. If you want to see your children, have your attorney arrange something through her attorney in order to cover your own hind end. The RO is restraining you from contact with her (right?) so there is nothing in there restraining you from your children. Get a hotel room, have them stay overnight with you in a fancy place, make it be like a vacation for their sake. But have your attorney arrange it (yes, I know the costs SUCK but man up and do it for the long run). Have drop offs and pick ups in a public place where there are plenty of witnesses; ALWAYS have an impartial third party present who would be willing to be subpoenaed to testify; and probably the best thing you can do is buy a video camera and say that you will be video taping any drop off, pick up or contact with her. Then have ALL discussions/contacts either be recorded and let her know you're doing it (so you don't break the law), or have them hereafter be in writing via email, written letter, or "child care notebook" or something. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS document it all so you can prove what you said, what she said, what precipitated it, everything. Buy a DayPlanner right now that will be your personal day calendar and journal. In it, write every day the stunt she pulled, what she emailed or wrote, facts like if she was late or the kids had no socks, etc. 

I know it is literally horrible now, with no kids and no "place" to live, but the time will come when this will be righted. In this instance you have to bide your time and wait for the right time to strike. It may be a while before some karma occurs but the more you document and remain disciplined and patient--the truth will come out and be shown who is doing what. So the challenge before you is tough: right now do not contact her, swallow the costs of always running it past your attorney to be sure it's legally wise, and get a DayPlanner...look back over your posts here...and begin the documenting as you lie in wait.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

I am not an alligator. I will not "lie in wait" or "prepare to strike". My lawyer got a verbal agreement for me to be able to contact her regarding custody of our kids. However, while the TRO thing is in place, I frankly have no desire to either have custody or give her a single GD dime. There isn't a court order in place either that demands that either of these things occur.

I have already alerted my partners that in the unlikely event the courts ratify her TRO, that it is my intention to leave the practice. I said that a court approved TRO is reason enough for them to activate the morality clause in our business agreement, and have me "removed" as a partner.

Financially, this would be disastrous for her. I am also sure that the CA medical board would become rather interested in me at that juncture as well. The simple reality is that I refuse to work, if my labors to result in anything other that maintenance payments to a vindictive ex-wife. I'd rather go to Uganda and help crippled kids walk, so it is a good thing I guess that I have "dug my own grave", because I have always been prepared "to die" for principles. It is one of the things that readily distinguishes me from her.

LIL


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I agree with Affaircare. . .don't go near her or contact her with any kind of restraining order and don't see the kids. I know that sucks but don't screw around. The cops don't have any choice if you go near her and they may have to haul you off to the county jail and be fingerprinted.

Then the CA board will have a problem with you.

On some level, she's going to have to reconcile that a good father's presence in her kids lives is a privledge and a right to the kids, that your presence is not a detriment to them and that your help in raising them is to be appreciated, not villified.

The law has come a long way in visitation rights as a father.

And my advice is - don't act in bad faith yet by cutting her off financially. The more you demonstrate that you are taking care of the kids by taking care of the shelter you live in, the more you demonstrate you have a right to visit them (or share physical custody).


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

> have already alerted my partners that in the unlikely event the courts ratify her TRO, that it is my intention to leave the practice. I said that a court approved TRO is reason enough for them to activate the morality clause in our business agreement, and have me "removed" as a partner.
> 
> Financially, this would be disastrous for her. I am also sure that the CA medical board would become rather interested in me at that juncture as well. The simple reality is that I refuse to work, if my labors to result in anything other that maintenance payments to a vindictive ex-wife. I'd rather go to Uganda and help crippled kids walk, so it is a good thing I guess that I have "dug my own grave", because I have always been prepared "to die" for principles. It is one of the things that readily distinguishes me from her.


LIL,

Calm down. . .don't refuse to work becuase of the divorce and be careful about legal maneuvers right now.

There is a legal remedy to that from your wife called "Imputed Income."

Essentially, a lot of men when they are going through divorce get what's called "Divorcitis."

All of the sudden, when they were making $100,000/year, they are now making $25,000/year. Her attorney can impute your income back up to what is your historical average. So, leaving your partnership may be a shot to your foot that wounds only you, not her.

IN other words, the courts would say,

"LIL - you want to go help crippled kids in Uganda and be holier than thou? Fine. But you are still on the hook for $XXX per year." That is the courts dont' give a rats pitootie what you do to earn your living - only that you get your kids the child support and that you are using your training and education to what you were using during the marriage.

They would refernce the states Occupational and Wage Data for evidence.

Remember what I said. . .the courts favor women in divorce. You don't want to go "to the mat" with a woman in court. They will favor her. You want to negotiate, settle, pick at her, reduce your liability. . .drag it out if need be. Have a friend negotiate for you if need be. . .hell, I'll negotiate by proxy for you.

But I am telling you - don't go to the mat with her. You'll lose. SHe could be a drug ***** prostitute and she quit whoring yesterday and the courts will favor the woman in most proceeds.

And don't go de-partnering yourself or something else rash before you think about the consequences and talk to your attorney.

Keep your career intact and your partnership sound. This can all be negotiated. Remember - we are guys. Generally, as compared to women, we don't need as much material things. Give her the entire house (that's a juicy carrot for women) if you have to to keep her out of the partnership. I plan to live in a small mobile home. Why do I need more?

Seriously, use that marital arts sense a bit and remember ro redirect your opponents energies back at her. Control your anger. Good luck.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Yeah I agree with Scanner! Man--do I lose my Chick Membership Card for that? 

The terms about "laying in wait" and "striking at a good time" were meant to invoke patience, determination, discipline and sound strategy...not being an alligator. Nothing personal man, but your reactions here to both my post and your post about quitting the firm are not sounding like your head is on straight. I'd recommend doing what you need to do to calm down--meditate, pray, whatever it is that you do to get wise counsel--because right now you're reactions sound radical, extreme, and frankly you are sounding dangerous!

Finally just a note to confirm what Scanner said. My Dear Hubby's ex has her degree from a prestigious law school and tried to pull what you are proposing, and child support did not fall for that. They used her earning POTENTIAL to calculate the child support she owes--not what she actually earns. So word to the wise--chill out and seriously, stop and think about what you're doing!


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

No, you just get a Guys Club membership card. 

No, look, I realize every perspective is biased and there are legitimate biases both ways in a divorce. Men are facing the following:

1. Loss of 30% of income
2. Loss of home
3. Loss of 50% of house or some percentage
4. Loss of family/time with kids
5. Loss of spouse

Women are faced with:

1. Loss of certain percentage of household income
2. Loss of help in childrearing
3. Loss of spouse
4. Loss of 50% of house or some percentage.

Men report anxiety as a symptom; women report exhaustion from all the extra work. Anger and depression are pandemic on both sides. You have needs and no one will advocate for them except you and your attorney and vice versa.

The courts don't care about you or your wife and she slept with the NY Yankees and you slept with the Las Vegas Rockettes. THey only care about the children because they have taxpayors that don't want to end up caring for them.

THis is the cold reality.

Income imputation is a complex subject, and one I don't fully understand myself. My stb-x threatened that with me but your historical earnings will be calculated in. . .not to mention that everyone is earning less with the economy. But if they see something purposeful and malevolent, the law could be activated.

Both parties just have to realize that their lifestyle will have to be adjusted downward - your wife and you. The wife probably has a harder time with this, not so much that they are more materialistic creatures. . .they just hate to see their kids suffer the consequences, which I actually sympathasize with.

I wouldn't mind actually living in a little trailer and my wife and kids staying at their previous lifestyle. I don't mind the simple life. I actually put an offer on the table - that I stay on as owner of the house, I use it 2 weekends/month to parent the kids, and when the oldest turns 18, we sell it. I was willing to pay extra to help support it.

No go.

She wanted the new boyfriend to be in the house.

Fine. . .just pay me my share and I'll be on my way.

Anyway, maybe your wife would consider a collaborative arrangement like that, if you are up for it.

Point is there are a 1000 ways to arrange this vs. the court way but don't go doing any funny business with your earnings.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Agreed 100%! My ex and I had to submit our past years' income taxes and they averaged it over the past five years and divided by "days of the week that end in Y" or something.  I mean seriously I think it's half voodoo but they do take into consideration things like "which one has the degree" and "which one has the potential to earn more" and "which one has the kids physically the most" etc. I mean it makes no common sense to have the one who has no way to earn money also have the kids the most and no way to provide for them! 

Okay by logic it seems to me that if a person wants to cheat and break the marriage contract, that it should be treated like a breach of contract and there should be penalties. Common sense says, "you want to leave the marriage, cool, but you leave the house and kids and any benefits too. The good news is the contract is broken and you're free to go." But the messed up fact is that's not the way it really is. 

So just from two situations of experience: my ex and I just agreed to everything--even a CS amount--except that he wouldn't pay it without the judge's order, so I asked for arrears for the months he didn't pay and the rest we agreed on. It was fairly okayish. Our agreement in summary was sell the house and the business for no profit and to cover the debts. We're out and done--clean break. He got his college debts and a higher earning potential. I didn't ask for alimony cuz I can work. And he paid $800/month for two kids which I used every month directly toward rent. With all the little kid expenses, it drove him NUTS to get the $5 for this field trip and $5 for milk money... so we agreed he'd pay for all sports stuff (signup, uniforms, equipment) and I paid for the piddly and it more or less evened out in the rain. We lived 3 miles from each other, so kids could bike over. They "homebased" with me and he had a "guestroom" they decorated with their "dad stuff" that they kept there. The end--fairly clean. 

Dear Hubby and his ex agreed and even filed co-petitioner. They agreed to 50/50 child support and keeping the kids and she took off, so Dear Hubby got them like 99% of the time. Otherwise, she had the degree and she got the debt. Any cards she ran up...she got the debt. Any cards he ran up he took. No one went for alimony -- he kept the house cuz he kept the kids and wanted them to have their same bedrooms and feel stable. So again--they agreed, the divorce was relatively quick, and it was a fairly clean break.

Thus is really *IS* to your advantage to get to some point where you and your attorney and her and her attorney hash out something. Here's the fact--you are going to loose some stuff you cherish. She is going to have to come to grips with the fact she's going to lose some stuff she cherishes. But once that's over you can go over the laws and make a reasonable offer to her.


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## dantanph (Feb 7, 2010)

SG, I am learning so much from your posts. Thanks!


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Now you tell me not to do anything rash. Ok I won't, but I hope that doesn't include buying a new car. Too late. VROOOM.

LIL


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

It does. I hope you are kidding. 

Also, be prepared for the legal costs if she doesn't drop the TRO and decides to pursue a permanent RO. Highly unlikely either will stick but the fees will still be assessed. Myself I racked up 10-15k in legal fees directly attributed to her maneuvers with the TRO and RO. Yeah, I'm on the hook for it now but guess who's gonna get a wake up call at trial when I ask for that $$ back?


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Well, yes, it does.

If your tactic was going to be that you were going to practice medicine in Uganda with crippled kids on principle but you went out and bought a Ferrari, well. . .I'm not even an attorney and I could argue for your wife on this one.

Use your marital arts sense and think like your opponent.

Okay, I get it. . . I'm where you are at. . .a little further along. We are both having a combination painful divorce and midlife crisis.

You got the car. I"m sleeping around. We are both "classic." You work for your money - you are allowed transportation. I work for money - I'm allowed a piece of tail and to spend it on women.

Absolutely no judgment from me - honestly. Enjoy your car as much as I am enjoying dating. That is the part of freedom you get when you decide to cut the "emotional ball and chain" called our wives.

Welcome to the official world of midlife crisises.

The point is the the kids are *entitled* to a certain percentage of your income, which is earned in good faith. And that's before I spend it on a fling in Florida (just went -more than a fling I guess) and before you spend it on a shiny new red sports car or Jeep.

Here is my advice:

1. Don't contact your wife with the TRO, as much as I know you want to. She is too caustic right now.
2. Be a little Machevellian. IF she wants to raise your offspring without any help other than financial, play like it's no big deal. Maybe I'll go make some more babies elsewhere (even though this is not the case). I'll have a fling in Mexico. I"ll open that second business I have been wanting to open. Whatever.
3. Just tell her you are there when she is ready to negotiate.
4. As far as the TRO, just follow it in good faith. IF you violate it, you could end up fingerprinted at the county jail. Explain to your kids that you are/were indignant (rightfully so) about it when she filed it and kept them from you.


The truth is, while the mariage is ending, you are basically in the partnership of childrearing for the rest of your life, whether that just means you are a child support check and she raises them or something more egalitarian.

With women, it's better to come at them from a position of strength, like it doesn't matter to you one way or the other. Then they have lost power over you. And they're nursing your offspring and now the anger switches to hurt.

THEN you can extend some mercy (if you want to). THEN she'll be ready to talk.

Right now, she has total power over you and she's playing you like a 3rd degree black belt playing a yellow belt.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

I don't think I'm having a midlife crisis SG. I feel happier than I have in a long time, and my new car has absolutely nothing to do with it. I just needed "reliable transportation", and if I decide to become a secret agent I'm set. 

I am happy with who I am SG. I am good at what I do. I help people, and I'm paid fairly well to do so. My days have purpose. My children love me. I just have a wife that has sort of slipped into the deep end of the pool. That really is my only regret in this life.

The car is nice, but not extravagant. No matter how much she gets, I'll still be able to make the payments. In actuality, I just wanted something separate from her. Something that she hadn't ever been in. It feels unsullied to me. I like that. I don't really know how else to explain it.

I also like it for its metaphoric value. It says I'll go on without you and be just fine. It also whispers deliciously in her ear that the next man she meets won't be able to buy one of these. Hmmm I could be wrong, it might just be saying "you f*cked the pooch when you left me". I'm sorry, It's really hard to tell. I don't speak car-eese very well.

As for the TRO, my lawyer has gotten permission for me to contact her with peaceful letters by e-mail, and I have done so. My last letter was very gracious, and I sincerely thanked her for all of the things she has taught me in our 20+ years together. As for my children, the ones that are over the age of consent are free to see me as they please. 

I have read "The Prince" SG. I do not intend to be a fox. I am a lion. I want to see my kids. I need to see my kids. My kids need to see me. It is foolish to pretend otherwise. She has known me since I was 18. We understand each other far to well for such a simple ruse to work. 

I even doubt she would "turn me in" if I violated the TRO. She doesn't benefit a bit if my ability to provide for her is damaged. That doesn't mean that my favorite cat won't disappear in a week or so. I understand that she doesn't mind hurting me. I just don't believe she is unwilling to risk injuring herself in the process.

I think she is just honestly confused right now. I really don't suspect she intended to start this fire. Her first trip at Christmas to a lawyer resulted in some frigging sort of contract of her demands if our marriage was to continue. Frankly, it just pissed me off. She has no power over me. Take 60% of my paycheck. I don't care. I can live pretty frigging well on the remaining 40%. Bluff called...now what?

I can do much better than her. She knows this and is pissed. She's 40 and looks 45. I'm 40 and look 30. Must be the martial arts, or perhaps all the MSG I wash my uniform in. Who knows. 

However, had she not gone "loony", I would have been more than happy to honor my original oath. Unfortunately, things are broken beyond repair at this point. I am an honorable man, but even honor has its limits.

LIL


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

lastinline said:


> My children love me. I just have a wife that has sort of slipped into the deep end of the pool. That really is my only regret in this life.


Kids - they have kept me sane during this ordeal. It is amazing how much they "see" and how they automatically picked up on which parent has "changed". You're doing fine LIL. Your son obviously sees that.



lastinline said:


> Something that she hadn't ever been in. It feels unsullied to me. I like that. I don't really know how else to explain it.


I understand you feel that way about the new car. I don't currently have the means to replace my 2003 but I completely understand the "unsullied" feeling. It has been almost 4 months since I have slept in my own bed. Ever since I found out she had the OM overnight between Christmas and New Years I have only purchased new a new sheet set. I cannot bring myself to sleep in it due to the "sullied" feeling. I was going to sell it, but I think I might just refinish and restain it.



lastinline said:


> I think she is just honestly confused right now...... Bluff called...now what?


Well, unfortunately now I believe she continues to blame you for everything wrong in her life and rewrites your past together to justify her actions. She will eventually realize that she has gone too far and not have the courage to face you so she will just decide to continue on her way. At least that has been my experience.



lastinline said:


> However, had she not gone "loony", I would have been more than happy to honor my original oath. Unfortunately, things are broken beyond repair at this point. I am an honorable man, but even honor has its limits.


Right there with you. I passed this limit in mid-November and haven't looked back. Keep your chin up and you'll be fine.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

LIL,

I may be ahead of you but you do have a wisdom about you and I have to applaud that. I need to see my kids too and maybe I am being too Machevellean in my approach too. IT's complicated - I need to work weekends. . .that is when they are off (the older ones). I don't work, and I lose $450 per shift.

It's not chump change to me (maybe to you, I don't pretend to know), especially when you are talking child support.

It's like I want to say, "If you want me to have the kids or the kids want to have me. . .give me $450 credit on child support." But I know that's unrealistic. . .the law only gives me a few dollars in exchange for losing the $450 work.

And she rightfully wants her full child support.

This is what sucks about divorce - the man has to work more and the woman has to do more childrearing. The kids lose a fulltime father.

ANd that's my dilemma. I want some flexibility to call her up 2-4 weeks in advance and take 1 or all of them. She wants a methodical regular schedule. If she backs me against the wall, I say no. Neither of us is wrong, I guess and I am not sure how to compromise although I want to, for sure.

I could forego the weekend job but that drops my income significantly and at a time when money means a lot. I don't always take a shift that comes my way, but I don't know. . .sometimes I need to.

I don't want to not see the kids. I don't want to exhaust her. I even want her to have her own life.

I am kind of content to remain in their social orbit and go to soccer games, baseball games, basketball games, and concerts. Maybe even when the baby goes to school one day, volunteer as a "Room Dad."

Summers I could do Tues and Thurs with them.

I am just not comfortable with providing a "2nd home" for them yet. 

But it's a goal.

I just hate the entitlement mentality, you know? When she starts on me that she's entitled to every other weekend and entitled to this (not the kids) and that, it gets my blood going.

Anyway, sorry to talk about me - but your well thought-out position got me thinking.

Go ahead and say you want the kids for whatever. . .but just know she sees that as "leverage" vs. discussing what's best for all parties.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Just shot an email off to the middle child's teacher about volunteering to be a Room Dad. He's in 1rst grade - wish I had thought of this before.

The overnight thing will remain a challenge in my life.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Room Dad sounds great SG. Just be sure to behave yourself around all of those lonely housewives. 

Anyway, my oldest and I had our first Jujitsu practice tonight. It was a rush. Next time though, I think I'll wear a warm up instead of shorts. Oh well, skin eventually grows back. 

I've got to crank out some patient reports, so this post is going to be short. I picked up my son at my ex's mom's house tonight. I could tell her mom was pissed about the car. I told her it's really nice. Her daughter should get a job, and then she could buy one too.

Anyway, I've got to fly,

LIL


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

LOL.....


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