# 6 months seperated is she having a affair



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

Hello Everyone
Im posting from the uk so plz bare with me.
Brief History..me 51, wife 41, 4 children eldest from W first marrige shes 21. we have 3 together. 14. 13. 7. Together 16yrs Married 7.
We like all couples have had our ups n downs, but together we have gotten through and I thought we were settled around 7 years ago.I have allways looked upon my W as my soulmate and she the same apparently.My W had been a stay at home mum (her descision) until around 12 months ago she started working as a private carer, looking after a severly disabled lady.That was august last year.
Fast forward to January this year and W went completly cold on me. No emotion at all and constantly picking fights with me. I became very clingy and crying all the time asking her just what the problems are with us. The more I asked the colder she became.
I moved into the spare room and im sorry to say cried most nights. W ignored me.Then W started getting dressed up for work buying new underwear ect. I asked her why the sudden change in appearence her reply. OMG! leave me alone what is up with you. Very defensive to say the least. Her cell phone then became bonded to her hip. I got more and more insecure and confused.
In march this year she asked me to stay at our daughters place for a weekend because she needed space from me to sort out how she feels. I never got back through the door and now live in a rented apartment .In between all this I find out the lady she works for has a 38yr old son at home!.Over the months ive asked her about this man and she lies saying he doesnt live there ect. He does I no this for a fact.In april W took her wedding rings off saying her fingers were swollen.She still doesnt wear them. When she works I have the children if Im not working myself I also have them overnight when W "works" overnight.
In all these months W has never tried to reconcile or even offer a valid reason why all this is happening except for I need more time. For me the whole situation is devastating Ive lost 40lb pick up infections nearly every week and in general i just cant seem to get myself together.Im so sorry to bother you all with my problems but i came across this site by accident and have read how caring and helpfull you all are. I am desperate to cope with all thats happening . hope you can help me or at least point me in the right direction. There is so much more I could say but its my first post and didnt no how much to write.
Regards xx


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Many red flags for an affair.

Do you still pay for everything? What are finances like?

Start separating finances, stop paying her bills, pay only for your children.

Tell her she either works on the marriage or you divorce.

Give her 1 day to decide. Then begin moving forward, either way.

She obviously has no use for you or the marriage yet she chooses to continue it, thus I believe she must need you and the marriage for some reason.

Why doesn't she divorce you? Finances? Babysitting/child care?


----------



## member2012 (Jul 12, 2012)

Move right back into your house and tell her she needs to move out if she needs more time.then gather evidence and once you have evidence confront her about her affair.
expose the guy to anyone and everyone he knows right after you confront her.
It might take you a month to gather evidence, but get it first before you confront her.


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> Many red flags for an affair.
> 
> Do you still pay for everything? What are finances like?
> 
> ...


hi our fianances are good atm we both work she pays her way since seperation i pay mine. Just cant get to the bottom of it at all.W through our 14 yr old son out of the house last weekend! saying he had betrayed her. What acctually happened was W was saying things like going out tonight with OM dont tell dad and more of the same. I confronted her on the phone her reply was testing his loyalty. I just dont no. We live in a village 1000 people max so word gets round but ive heard nothing.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm sorry for the pain you are going through. Sometimes life is just sucks.

Do you really need to ask if she is hving an affair? It's obvious that she is.

Your wife's affair is taking quite a toll on you. I think you really need to start to take better care of yourself. One of the things that you can to is to start interacting with her according to the 180. See link in my signature block below.

The other thing you can do is to read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy"... there is a web site for it as well.

Crying, begging, etc. is not attractive. It will drive a woman (or man) away. It also devistates your else esteem. So don't do this any more.

If you want for there to be any chance at all for your marriage to survive you need to get evidence of the affair and expose it using that evidence to people who care: the lady she works for, the company she works for if she is employed by one, her family, your family... at least those.

Can you afford to hire a PI? If so do to get photos, etc.

Do you have access to the bill for her cell phone? If so look at it for call/text patterns.

Are you an owner of the house she lives in? What are the UK laws about marital home? You should be able to just move back into the family home. I don't think she has any legal right to keep you from moving back into your home. Here in the US should could not do that.

Are you paying any of the bills at the house where she lives? If so why? You might want to consider stopping to pay them if you do not move in. After all, tell her that you cannot afford to keep 2 places... it's a good reason for you to move back into the family home.

Others will be along with more help... hang in there.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

frenchie26 said:


> hi our fianances are good atm we both work she pays her way since seperation i pay mine. Just cant get to the bottom of it at all.W through our 14 yr old son out of the house last weekend! saying he had betrayed her. What acctually happened was W was saying things like going out tonight with OM dont tell dad and more of the same. I confronted her on the phone her reply was testing his loyalty. I just dont no. We live in a village 1000 people max so word gets round but ive heard nothing.


She told your son that she was going out with the OM. That's pretty clear.

Her throwing a 14 year old child out of the house. She is teaching our children to lie to you. Move back into your family home.


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Why do you want to reconcile?


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Your wife has replaced you with the 38 yr old OM. Not to much question about that. The separation is for her to live the single life. She actually kicked a 14 yr out for not agreeing to support her betrayal.

Honestly - I don't see much hope for reconciliation.

People in the town know about it - they just want to mind their own business - not get involved. But you can be sure you and your wife are the talk of the town.

Start divorce proceedings now. Not sure how it works in UK, but I think you have put up with enough already.

BTW - the physical affair started before any separation talk and before you moving out.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

First - move back into your house. Why are you out - it's your home.

Second - expose her wide a far as a cheating.

If you need proof put a VAR in her car or hire a PI.


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> She told your son that she was going out with the OM. That's pretty clear.
> 
> Her throwing a 14 year old child out of the house. She is teaching our children to lie to you. Move back into your family home.


Thank you so much Elegirl for the links.I shall read them.


----------



## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

frenchie26 said:


> Hello Everyone
> Im posting from the uk so plz bare with me.
> Brief History..me 51, wife 41, 4 children eldest from W first marrige shes 21. we have 3 together. 14. 13. 7. Together 16yrs Married 7.
> We like all couples have had our ups n downs, but together we have gotten through and I thought we were settled around 7 years ago.I have allways looked upon my W as my soulmate and she the same apparently.My W had been a stay at home mum (her descision) until around 12 months ago she started working as a private carer, looking after a severly disabled lady.That was august last year.
> ...


So many red flags and such a careless behavior from your wife that I don't think she'll want to get back to this marriage anymore.
She has fallen for the 38 year old guy and she has blatantly disrespected and pushed you away. She's been playing you this whole time.

And you have been way TOO patient!!!


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Sorry to hear this is happening to yet again another BS. Take care of your health, eat well, plenty of fruits, fight the cortisol hormkne with vit c. Dont cling, nag, question, your wife. Dont show emotion around her. If you have enough evidence to believe that she is wayward and has cheated then pull a 180. She needs a wake up call, a reality check, you need to drag her out of the fog. She needs a break of contact from this man because she is addicted. Tell her to take another job, NOW! Sorry to say she has probably already cheated, staying over etc etc. She is blind and cannot see the seriousness of this betrayal whether emotional or physical. Become stronger, exercise eat healthy, clear your mind from mind movies and self degrading thoughts, none of this is YOUR fault, you are INNOCENT no matter what she says. Think strong, stay focused and ontrolled.

Decide whether you leave or you stay for the bloody battle of trying to save her from the hyenas. Most WS tend to wake up when you straight up serve them, some dont.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Report her to the care agency. Because it is probable they are paying her to have sex when she should be looking after a vulnerable person.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Also, she threw a child of 14 out? Report her to Social Services. Use the Emergency bank holiday number if you have it.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Phone your solicitor on Tuesday morning, mate! You have suffered enough.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

When she threw your child out, where did she send him?


----------



## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Go back home and kick her out!


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Report her to the care agency. Because it is probable they are paying her to have sex when she should be looking after a vulnerable person.


W is self employed MattMatt or I probably would have done.


----------



## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

She threw your 14 year old son out of his house because....she...was....testing his loyalites? REALLY?!?!?

Dude, see a lawyer. You need to stop all of this. This chick is off her rocker. See a lawyer and get custody of your children. This isn't about you and her anymore, it's about protecting your young children from her destructive behavior.

First things first, take care of your kids. make sure they're safe. THEN start working on the problems at hand. i.e. her affair.


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> Why do you want to reconcile?


Sorry I haven't replied will. Have been reading all the posts on tam. Trying to work and generally get my act together. I want to reconcile because like my BS, on Tam I'm still madly in love with her can't believe at times she would acctually do this to our family. I also have become extremely insecure. My thoughts are kinda like . I've failed I'm a 51 year old man who has obviously not looked after my W when I thought I had done. Why else if she is having a affair would she do it , risk everything!. Happy people don't do that do they?. But when I sit and think about all the years we've been together I honestly can't put my finger on where it went wrong . Thinking maybe I became to boring predictable . I must admit I worked many many hours for the first 7 years of the business start up to be able to provide what I thought at the time would be a secure life for my W and children. This is the time I must have neglected her I suppose. Atm I really don't won't to let her go the thought really does upset me so much . Can't seem to except what's happening. Yet I read all the posts on TAM and how people in this situation come out the other side. But I just well , pathetic really , can't see me being able to do that atm. I have started putting the 180 into practise this is my first day so hopefully I may become stronger. Will, I am and allways have been a emotional sofftie . Truly wish I could just man up!. Praying the 180 will help me do this. Thank you all for your replys. I will post regularly from now on because I've got to sort myself out and stop wallowing in self pity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> When she threw your child out, where did she send him?


He came to me Matt. He is still with me and has no desire to go back to the house. My Goodness my 14 year old has more strength of character than his father.. Jeaz
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

frenchie26 said:


> hi our fianances are good atm we both work she pays her way since seperation i pay mine. Just cant get to the bottom of it at all.W through our 14 yr old son out of the house last weekend! saying he had betrayed her. What acctually happened was W was saying things like going out tonight with OM dont tell dad and more of the same. *I confronted her on the phone her reply was testing his loyalty. *I just dont no. We live in a village 1000 people max so word gets round but ive heard nothing.



That is ****ed up even if it is true(It is not). She is obviously lying and is being careful about not getting caught. Check her phone records.


File for divorce. Expose to her family and friends. You did nothing wrong here. Atleast they will know when she tries to introduce this guy as her new bf.


----------



## KathyGriffinFan (Apr 4, 2011)

She kicked out your 14 year old kid because he wouldn't lie on her behalf? issed:


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

KathyGriffinFan said:


> She kicked out your 14 year old kid because he wouldn't lie on her behalf? issed:


Yes ! It's bard to believe but that's the honest to gods truth. Back in January when my W turned cold on me . I more or less followed her around begging her to explain why the sudden change. This led to arguments between us. A lot More than we ever had because I just didn't understand why she was acting so out of character. My son has asked me about these 2 months since he's been with me. When I explainded to him the situation to hom he said his mum said this is no good is it ! Dad and I are arguing all the time I'm going to ask him to leave for a while maybe that will do us good. She then asked our son and the rest of the children if they thought this a good idea. At no time did my W explain why we were arguing . To this very day she still denies any affair . I'm lost ! Thank you for your reply Im going to be posting a lot more now hopefully with the help of you wonderfl people I will see a light at the end of the tunnel one day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> That is ****ed up even if it is true(It is not). She is obviously lying and is being careful about not getting caught. Check her phone records.
> 
> 
> File for divorce. Expose to her family and friends. You did nothing wrong here. Atleast they will know when she tries to introduce this guy as her new bf.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You do understand that your WW is along way aways as long as she still denies the A, and is no were near ready to deal with the reality.
So I suggest with the up most confidence in your self, that you start the 180 and protect your emotions from any more torture........ I regress, the fact that she still is in denial might , and I say might dictate that you get the smoking gun.

Me, you and everyone else here knows she's cheating, but often the best way to face a proplem is to get the wayward to acknowledge the problem.

Step one, get the smoking gun, 2) another confrontation, one that has confidence and tone that tells her you will no longer keep her around.

Often its these two step that a corner is turned.....maybe in your favor and your WW starts to pulls her head out of her fog, or the A is more in the open and you start dishing out consequences.

Either way the A will start to get stressed.

So I suggest you start from scatch and get that smoking gun.

But you do have the 2nd option to just go dark and impliment the 180, IMO if she doesn't see why your distancing your self and show her the indifference then she just won't get it....hence the smoking gun tactic in making face the reality and the reasons for the consequences.

Hell she can't cant even face the reality of it all, how is she going to face the consequences?

Regroup and get the smoking gun, even if you have to pretent all is good....thats my $0.02.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

frenchie26 said:


> To this very day she still denies any affair . I'm lost !_Posted via Mobile Device_


All the consequences in the world will just make you out to be the bad guy.
Once you have solid proof thats is undeniable, then the consequences will have a stronger meaning....a greater effect on the why you are going dark until OM is completely out of the picture.

I get it, logic tells us you have some stong evidence against her, but it appears you need more....it sucks but sometimes the fog is just that thick.

I think you have to get her thinking she is in the wrong and your indiference and actions are directly related to her behavior...until that happens your just the same old @ss that justifies her current behavior.

Again, get another smoking gun until she gets it.


----------



## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Testing the loyalty of a 14 year old... By asking him to cover her mother's affair to his dad. Even if that was true, the kid did the only thing a well raised kid would do and told his dad. What did she expect? 

And then she kicks him out? A 14 year old boy? Forget about all the rest. A woman who did that to my son would never be taken back EVER. I don't care about history and past happy moments. That woman is damaged. As a wife and as a mother.


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

frenchie26 said:


> Hello Everyone
> Im posting from the uk so plz bare with me.
> Brief History..me 51, wife 41, 4 children eldest from W first marrige shes 21. we have 3 together. 14. 13. 7. Together 16yrs Married 7.
> We like all couples have had our ups n downs, but together we have gotten through and I thought we were settled around 7 years ago.I have allways looked upon my W as my soulmate and she the same apparently.*My W had been a stay at home mum (her descision) until around 12 months ago *she started working as a private carer, looking after a severly disabled lady.That *was august last year.
> ...


Give your wife one last chance. Tell her that you love her and want to work on your marriage, but you refuse to live in limbo any longer and you refuse to stay married while she conducts an adulterous affair. Do not argue with her about whether or not she is having an affair, just say it like you know it's the truth and move on to the next point. 

Tell her that if she doesn't want to work on your marriage, then you will file for divorce. Working on your marriage means you and your son move back in, she quits her job, gives up all contact with the other man, gives you complete access to her phone and all accounts and communication devices, and handwrites a "no contact" letter to the other man.

If she doesn't agree to everything you ask, this is a 5-minute conversation, not two hours of you negotiating with her that she'll think about it for a day and get back to you or she'll agree to one thing or not to another. She either agrees 100% to all of your conditions or you will file for divorce. 

No begging and pleading, asking her if she realizes what she's done and how she's hurt you and the children. She knows and she doesn't care, so don't even go there. All of this soulmate stuff aside, I wouldn't treat my worst enemy the way your wife is treating you. Her actions have been very cruel over a very long period of time and her actions show a complete lack of concern for you. That is not how you treat someone you once considered the love of your life and your soulmate, even if the love has faded.

When you talk to your wife, try to do it in a calm, confident manner. Your attitude should be, "this is your last chance, I'm ready to move on without you."

Stop looking at yourself critically. I'm sure you made a lot of mistakes in the marriage as we all do, but nothing to deserve this.

If your wife doesn't meet your conditions, file for divorce.

Apparently your wife doesn't want to divorce because she has not filed yet and hasn't even brought it up. She is getting something from this marriage, maybe a free babysitter whenever she needs it, maybe she just likes the idea of you pining away waiting for her, maybe she is just afraid of what people will think of her if she divorces you, maybe lover boy refuses to commit to her, I can't imagine he cares about her very much after all this time if he isn't pushing her to divorce you and marry him. Whatever it is she is getting from staying married to you, it's time to take it away from her.

Which brings you to the next step: Exposure. You've got to expose your wife's affair to all of your and her friends and family. Let them know that your wife is having an affair and refuses to return to the marriage, that you are willing to reconcile if she returns, but that you are not willing to wait for her to end the affair any longer. Keep it short and sweet and then tell the next one. If they ask if you have proof, tell them you have enough proof that you are satisfied it is true but that you don't want to get into all of the details.

Find out about the 38-year-old son. Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? Other friends and family? Hire a private investigator to get you the names, phones, and addresses of his family and friends if you have no other way of finding out. Expose to his wife or girlfriend if he has one. Tell her he is having an affair with your wife and ask her to help you break it up. With his family and friends, let them know he is having an affair with your wife and breaking up your family and negatively affecting your young children. Keep it short and sweet.

You either are going to get a chance to work on your marriage, or you are going to start putting your life back together and move on without her.


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Testing the loyalty of a 14 year old... By asking him to cover her mother's affair to his dad. Even if that was true, the kid did the only thing a well raised kid would do and told his dad. What did she expect?
> 
> And then she kicks him out? A 14 year old boy? Forget about all the rest. A woman who did that to my son would never be taken back EVER. I don't care about history and past happy moments. That woman is damaged. As a wife and as a mother.


I was hoping she was menopausel....But ive read lots on that too.:scratchhead:


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

frenchie26 said:


> I was hoping she was menopausel....But ive read lots on that too.:scratchhead:


Stop making excuses for her.


----------



## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

frenchie26 said:


> I was hoping she was menopausel....But ive read lots on that too.:scratchhead:


*Quote:
Originally Posted by costa200 
Testing the loyalty of a 14 year old... By asking him to cover her mother's affair to his dad. Even if that was true, the kid did the only thing a well raised kid would do and told his dad. What did she expect? 

And then she kicks him out? A 14 year old boy? Forget about all the rest. A woman who did that to my son would never be taken back EVER. I don't care about history and past happy moments. That woman is damaged. As a wife and as a mother.*

:iagree: Please read what Costa wrote i few time´s

I personally , i can say with a straight face. I would do exactly
the same as Costa posted.. I really would.. its so effed up big time


----------



## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

costa200 said:


> Testing the loyalty of a 14 year old... By asking him to cover her mother's affair to his dad. Even if that was true, the kid did the only thing a well raised kid would do and told his dad. What did she expect?
> 
> And then she kicks him out? A 14 year old boy? Forget about all the rest. A woman who did that to my son would never be taken back EVER. I don't care about history and past happy moments. That woman is damaged. As a wife and as a mother.


:iagree::iagree: well put Costa


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

This is why expose of affairs wide and far is important - it eliminates the ability to deny like she is.


----------



## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Is your name on the house deed ?? If so, move back home and into your bedroom NOW !! 
Manup or call it quits. Your way has got you no where but it has done a lot of damage to yor kids.
If you won't fight for yourself, at least fight for your kids.
Just think of what kind of example she is setting for your daughters.


----------



## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

I wouldn't care if she cured the sick and walked on water from now till eternity. Just knowing she THREW out her son for not consenting to back up her lies is sufficient to NEVER set eyes on her again. 

How could you possibly forgive that and look your children in the eyes without shame from now on?


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

OldWolf57 said:


> Is your name on the house deed ?? If so, move back home and into your bedroom NOW !!
> Manup or call it quits. Your way has got you no where but it has done a lot of damage to yor kids.
> If you won't fight for yourself, at least fight for your kids.
> Just think of what kind of example she is setting for your daughters.


Yes my name is on the house deed Wolf. I dont want to go back in there. I am desperatly trying to man up. Did start with the 180 2 days ago but things have gotta so bad since then . Will post the update in a minute.


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

walkonmars said:


> I wouldn't care if she cured the sick and walked on water from now till eternity. Just knowing she THREW out her son for not consenting to back up her lies is sufficient to NEVER set eyes on her again.
> 
> How could you possibly forgive that and look your children in the eyes without shame from now on?


I can"t


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

This is what has happened within the last 48 hours!
I managed to intercept STBXW latest cell phone bill. 1st Aug..1st Sept. First if I may, I would like to explain how the STBXW 
says she needs to text the OM. Every tuesday W takes the lady she cares for out shopping. When out shopping the lady will ask W to text the OM and his sister.(she is paid!! to care for her mum) with requests ect. Now my STBXW went on a working holiday with her employer for 5 days in august.I took time off work the children stayed with me. So no texts needed there then. On her return she falls out with our son . Posted about this in other posts. W decides she needs a break! So she travels to her brothers 400 miles away with our 2 youngest children and her mum.W returns 1 week later.
Sooo W has roughly worked 2 weeks if that. Her cell phone bill says she texted OM 436 times. His sister (the carer) 70 times.
I ask STBXW why if nothing is going on. What on earth is she texting OM so many times for. Her reply His mum asked me to. Bullcrap!!I Then asked W just what the hell was going on and to stop with the lies because its hurting the children and myself. She blew up! accusing me of spying ect and how she was sick of it all. Then shortly after this I recieve a text from her saying she wants a Divorce!. also she wants me to sell the house so that she can buy another one away from me and the village ect.She has since changed her cell number and refuses to answer the house phone.I have read so many posts here on TAM. I still find it hard to believe a person who you have shared so much with could be so cruel and heartless.Sadly its happening to many of us here...
So as it stands atm ive no contact with our children or the STBXW.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

frenchie26 said:


> This is what has happened within the last 48 hours!
> I managed to intercept STBXW latest cell phone bill. 1st Aug..1st Sept. First if I may, I would like to explain how the STBXW
> says she needs to text the OM. Every tuesday W takes the lady she cares for out shopping. When out shopping the lady will ask W to text the OM and his sister.(she is paid!! to care for her mum) with requests ect. Now my STBXW went on a working holiday with her employer for 5 days in august.I took time off work the children stayed with me. So no texts needed there then. On her return she falls out with our son . Posted about this in other posts. W decides she needs a break! So she travels to her brothers 400 miles away with our 2 youngest children and her mum.W returns 1 week later.
> Sooo W has roughly worked 2 weeks if that. Her cell phone bill says she texted OM 436 times. His sister (the carer) 70 times.
> ...


You must file for divorce. And call Social Services. Tell them exactly what has happened. Ask them if this breaches their POVA guidelines. (Protection of Vulnerable People.)


----------



## frenchie26 (Aug 20, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> You must file for divorce. And call Social Services. Tell them exactly what has happened. Ask them if this breaches their POVA guidelines. (Protection of Vulnerable People.)


Would seem she is doing the divorce thing anyway Matt. I will ring Social Services this morning. This is bloody awfull!...Thank you for your advice Matt. Think I'm going to be on the boards for a long time to come.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

First thing first return back to your home and ask her to get out no FUC#K OFF......... File for D.

Get some IC for you and your children.

You appear to be toooo weak. Man up and show your children what a real man will do when someone treat them like a sh!t.


----------



## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Dude! You showed your hand! NEVER reveal your sources. okay, 400+ texts. Big red flag! But, not concrete proof. And, of course, she had an excuse (not a strong one, but an excuse none the less) Then she lashed out like an animal in a corner.

Question? What kind of phone does your WW have? If it's an iphone, chances are she charged it up using the home computer. Therefore, the phone probably sync'd up with the computer. If this is the case, then there's a text log that you can retrieve from that phone on the computer and you can read the text conversations.

Just a thought..


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Get back into your house and with your kids.

She can move out, but the kids stay at their home.

Contact the sister and inform her that you wife and her brother are having an affair, that your wife is married woman with children and she is no divorcing you to be with the brother.

Call who is paying for you wife's services and inform them that she and the OM are using this employment to hookup.


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

frenchie26 said:


> He came to me Matt. He is still with me and has no desire to go back to the house. My Goodness my 14 year old has more strength of character than his father.. Jeaz
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Then pretend to be the man who is his example.

One day you might not have to pretend anymore.


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Let me be perfectly blunt.

You are 51

She is 41. She still feels she's hot enough to snag someone else.

It's that simple. You can't go back in age. And if I was being followed by somebody crying and begging me to explain myself, I wouldn't want them either.

This is hard. She's behaving horribly. So might I suggest you F--- the civility and quiet reserve you were taught. Guess what the corrallary of that teaching is? Fidelity, honesty and respect. Since your wife breached her side, she is not owed the other side. It is a social contract.

Please stop crying like a *****, toss all her stuff on the front lawn and turn on the sprinklers! Go home and change the locks. NOW!

File for Divorce. NOW!

You don't need to prove anything. Tell her mum that YOU are growing a spine and seeking your own divorce because your wife feels the need to abandon her children, throw them out of the house and chase after some unemployed younger man.

Mum will ask her questions she'd rather not answer. She'll lie, of course, but Mum will remember so when Mr. 38 shows up, Mum will know.

Take back your house and kids.


----------

