# Need advice from the ladies



## Flipper (Feb 2, 2009)

I am a newbie, but I need a women's point of view concerning a situation my wife and I are in. A lil about myself first, We have been married for 4 years, and all in all we have the best relationship except for one thing. I have the sex drive like no other, and she lacks it like no other. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum. We love each other, and we are like best friends. We have the most beautiful daughter ever. I am a Navy pilot currently overseas. So, we aren't having any sex, but even before I deployed it was one reason after another why we couldn't have sex. I know she thinks I am attractive, and I am naturally athletic (6ft, tan, blue eyes, tone body). Now here are the top four reasons I suspect for her lack of sex drive: a date rape she experienced long before we were married, the birth of our daughter did affect her libido but she is now two, the birth of our daughter changed her figure even though she is sexier than ever or she is bored with me/my body. I ask all of you, what more can I do? What should I do? We are fortunate enough to have the ability to Skype, and she has the most amazing body. But I am soooo tired of begging for her. I am tired of asking for her. When we do have sex, she always seems surprised at how great it was... and I always walk away thinking, now it will happen more often. Your thoughts? :scratchhead:


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

its all in the fore play dont beg her for sex, give her a massarge kiss her turn her on!!! 
may be she could do with counselling about her date rape it must play on her mind.
And its hard work being a mum some times we just need to be held with out it leading to sex.
keep on telling her how sexy you find her but id go for the long massarge and gentle kisssing !! im sure after a while she will be begging you for it


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## Flipper (Feb 2, 2009)

I appreciate the idea of the foreplay. I definitely agree that in order to make a fire, you have to start to slowly rub twiggs together. It's something I will concentrate on doing more. I tend to be far more affectionate then she is. I love to hug, kiss, and touch. I have even done lots of research in attempting to kill my libido, but then I remind myself that we are a married monogamous couple, we should be enjoying SEX. What can we do with the distance we currently have? Should I call her and express my feelings, or maybe an email would give her the opportunity to not be put on the spot in her reply?


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

When my husbands away we email each other describing what we are going to do to each other ,it gets to the stage that i cant wait for him to come home.Email her and tell her to go stock up on massarge oil and how you cant wait to be together.


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## tina (Jan 28, 2009)

Well your story sounds alot like mine except I am in the postion of your wife. I also experienced a date rape when I was 18. But I don't really think affected me after I met my husband. We started dating right as I was gratuating HS. We have now been married for 17 years this weekend. We have always had the problem of not enough sex for him. I have always enjoyed sex when we had it, but for me it has always been more about being unhappy with myself. I have tried and tried to convince him that it isn't him, but I am sure he doesn't think so. Anyways over the years it has definitely worn our relationship down, and now here we are having all sorts of problems. My advice is maybe she should get help. I regret not being more happy with myself, then maybe I wouldn't be in the position of possibly losing my husband.
Take care....


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

is your wife on birth control? i took the depo shot for 3 yrs and i had no interest what so ever coz of it. my husband and i fought a lot about it. 3 yrs after i stopped taking it it's still messing up my system


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## Junebug (Dec 7, 2008)

Was there always a lack of sex between you? I know that for me, we have 3 kids and there have been a lot of times that for months and months on end I was quite happy to have sex about once a month, and that was more duty sex than anything. I was so tired of hands on me all the time, pulling me in 30 different directions, demands constantly to do things for everyone in the family, etc. As much as I love my little monkeys snuggling me and hugging me, after I would get them snuggled in bed I really didn't want any more demands made on me physically. After our youngest was about 3 it all got better, I got energy back, I felt better, the kids were more independant and I didn't feel like I was at someone else's beck and call quite so much... only 16 out of my 17 waking hours!! lol. If she hasn't always been that way, maybe it's just a phase. It's so exhausting and demanding being a Mom, yet of course the best job in the entire world!! Good luck with it!!


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