# initiating intimacy v initiating communication ???



## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

I would say that most of the time women initiate talking/communication with their husbands whilst usually it's men who initiate intimacy, not the women. At least it's like that for me.

If you're a man whose wife initiates sex as often or more often than you do, do you initiate talking through problems as often, or more often than, your wife? 

Conversely, For those women who initiate sex more often than, or as often as, their husbands, is your husband the type who will readily talk to you when you hit problems, and/or readily INITIATE talking at such times.

Finally, could it be possible to encourage your spouse to initiate talking/intimacy more often by yourself doing more of the one you do less of now? (Hope I'm making sense here!) Or put another way, would you be inclined to initiate intimacy/communication more often if your spouse did the reverse.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Advocado said:


> I would say that most of the time women initiate talking/communication with their husbands whilst usually it's men who initiate intimacy, not the women. At least it's like that for me.
> 
> If you're a man whose wife initiates sex as often or more often than you do, do you initiate talking through problems as often, or more often than, your wife?


Hmmmm, for us, I initiate most of the communcation & the sex! But he is always readily receptive to both so it works. He would disagree that I initiate all the intimacy though, maybe it is about equal now accually. He gets mad at me if I suggest I do more. In the past, he would initiate probably more of the touching, feeling, hugging kind of thing. I was ALWAYS more of a communicator though. 

You are probably right though that in the "majority" of marraiges, women bring the communcation to the table and men bring the intimacy to the bedroom.

For my situation, it would be completely pulling teeth to get my husband to be MORE of a Communicator than myself. He has stepped up the plate in the intimacy department when I expressed how much I wanted/needed that from him though.


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