# How to not bring sh-t home?!



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I've made a few threads in regards to switching off, and for a while it worked. But today was just one of the SH-TTEST days at work when people were just p-ssing me off left right and center to the point I was about to explode and fking murder everyone.

And during all this I had missed SMSs from my wife wondering WTF is going on and when I got home I had MORE SH-T to deal with, hell and she even tried to lecture me. F--K OFF! I had enough of fkwits trying to tell me what to do.

I was in the mood to fking just sell off my business if my stupid clueless fking greedy money hungry selfish investors keep this sh-t up. DON'T FKING TRY TO FIX WHAT IS NOT FKING BROKEN!!!! ITS MY FKING JOINT IN THE END TOO FFS!!!

And my wife is clueless as well, I expected better... told her to fk off and leave me the fk alone because I sure as hell ain't dealing with HER after today. WTF!? How the hell do you deal with days like this?!


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

Your favorite brand of Scotch is ? 

Cheers.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

So much for quitting alcohol... 

*sighs*
Cheers mate

Time to get fking wasted, no choice, I won't get over it unless I do


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

When I was in a high-stress job (1st 12 years of marriage), my W would know the instant I walked in how my day went. I never hid (or tried to control) my emotions. One of my many faults. To her credit, she would give me the time & space to decompress, keeping the kids at bay as well.

One thing to try (as you said alcohol was out is not a good option anyway) is some after work activity - work out, walk/run the dogs, play tennis, 9 holes of golf - to put some of that negative energy before coming home.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Know the feeling Random........
Been there many times.
But when I'm that pizzed off, she knows not to come close to me.
I just go to the gym, beat the irons , come home ,take a shower and hit the bed.
Tomorrow will be better, and I will be stronger.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

You know there are other ways of coping that don't involve alcohol. 

It is sad that your wife doesn't understand what you need on days like this. Her timing stinks.


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> You know there are other ways of coping that don't involve alcohol.
> 
> It is sad that your wife doesn't understand what you need on days like this. Her timing stinks.


I agree. All of us have stressful days. I play tennis to relieve stress. Why can't your wife understand you need some time to decompress?

Sorry, but from your other threads, I don't know how you put up with your spoiled wife!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I think that spouses should be each other's comfort. It is the reason I text my husband a few times a day to ask how his very stressful job is going, so I have a better idea of what he will need from me emotionally. 

Most times, he wants to cuddle, talk and make love after a hard day. I am very mindful of what my voice sounds like during those difficult evenings; people have been rude or shouted at my husband for hours! Even if I have an issue with him, I try to talk about it another time.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Hmm, we seemingly handle these types of days (mine or hers) differently than previous posters. We really need each other. Yes, they are "martini evenings", but it's not about the booze as much as it is the talking and venting around the kitchen island. But when one of invokes a "martini", the other has duties, primarily to listen, listen and listen, while knowing it's not about you. There will be no conflict as there already is one distress.

Edit: after reading fyd's post, yes, a heads up is important, very.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I have a huge tree in my front yard, and when I'm driving home to the family I think about what I need to hang on the tree for the night .......I can pick it up on my way out the door on my way to work.

So I don't care if its a bush, or a stump....but sometning that you can literualy hang something from. and before you walk in the door look at the object and figuritively hang your crap on the tree, bush, stumb, or even an old hook next to the door. 

Its out side and you can pick it back up in the morning....look at that object and take it with you as you head out to work.

BTW, there is alot of old crap still hanging from my big old tree.....it seems I forget to take it back to work, so I desided to hang...literuraly hang a heavy bag from this tree. LOL


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## TheCrunch (Sep 3, 2012)

100 Ways to Get Rid of Stress

I like no 25 in this link - basically, remember you have had challenging days before and you survived. You will survive today's challenge too so no point in letting it eat you up. Breathe and Chill. 

My tip - before you go indoors, try sitting in your car and tensing and relaxing your muscles, along with deep breathing. 

I also agree it's a good idea to pre-warn your partner that you're in a bad mood so she doesn't take it personally. 

Bad Mood Swing due to pms, teen hormones, menopause etc– What you should say to Others


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## TheCrunch (Sep 3, 2012)

Also remember the most stressful days are when you must take a break midway through the day (even if it's only 15 minutes). The very fact that most people work through breaks when things are not going right only adds to the pressure.


Ways to Destress During Your Lunch Break


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## moocow (Sep 30, 2012)

I have a question to you men about this topic because I am sometimes the wife who is told to f off and leave him the f alone... It isn't a nice feeling because I am not coming from a point of animosity, but really just wanna be his buddy. The way I would chat to a friend about "Can you believe what happened at the office today" type of thing...

It hurts like a knife to the belly when I am told to f off, because I am not the one who pissed him off in the first place. 

Sometimes I feel that men don't have a proper outlet for their stress so their wives become their punching bags. Figuratively speaking.

Men don't realise that their wives are usually so excited to see them when they come home. We can't wait for hubby to walk in the door. We are nurturers. We want to fix and take care. And we come from a point of love. And it hurts like hell when you tell us to f off...

Please tell me how not to take it personally...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I didn't just walk in the door and tell her to F off, it just got the point when she was following me around complaining and lecturing about my mood despite me telling her repeatedly I need my fking space. She didn't get the fking message so she got what was coming to her.

That's her problem sometimes, she just doesn't know when to back the **** off! It's bloody common sense, oh wait, she doesn't have any... pffft. Now she's sulking and probably thinking what a bad husband I am/rollercoaster ride and whatever the ****.

Meh, not going to deal with her today either

@Moocow

Yes I understand that you may want to help, but sometimes the best thing you can do for your husband when he's on an explosive mood is to leave him alone. He probably doesn't want you to see him like this, nor did I yesterday.


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## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

the guy said:


> I have a huge tree in my front yard, and when I'm driving home to the family I think about what I need to hang on the tree for the night .......I can pick it up on my way out the door on my way to work.
> 
> So I don't care if its a bush, or a stump....but sometning that you can literualy hang something from. and before you walk in the door look at the object and figuritively hang your crap on the tree, bush, stumb, or even an old hook next to the door.
> 
> ...


this is actually a good idea. i know there are days im under pressure at work, lots of work conflicts i have that type of work environment. it can be down right harsh, actually the pressure and b.s. involved. And some days by the end of the day im about sky high wound up and pissed at the world. 
i like the tree i idea. Not just for the wifes sake but also the children. Like some days i walk in the door and i really have to catch myself from saying something i shouldnt just when my three year old asks to play with me. I tend to swear at work when i get mad, it isnt acceptable at home around the family i really try to watch how i act. Course, my three year old, he hasnt seen me all day. He doesnt understand. i need a few minutes to calm down and leave the day behind then i play with him. Any more than the wife really understands totally, but she wants her time and doesnt want me walking in the house and off the wall pissed off and quick with the tongue. But a tree in the front yard, to leave it before you walk in the door. Is a excellent way to see it. i think im going to have to do that. could help even more than my five minute, leave dad alone for a few minutes time. spare the family some of my mood, which has nothing to do with them and isnt their problem or understanding. My wife actually HELPS calm me down though. i cant place any blame on her at all....


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## Minncouple (Sep 9, 2009)

Wow, we have very similiar lives.

I also own my own firm, and have a very difficult job. Daily I have blow outs, threats, fire people/venders, yell, and pretty much beat on people all day. It's just the industy I am in.

I used to think that you get more flies with honey than you do poo, but the past few years I have resorted to just plain old yelling, beating on people and being a complete jerk. In all honestly, financially I am doing better and my clients couldnt be happier with my firms work. I guess I proved that theory wrong.

It's a ***** to finally drag yourself home, beaten/tired/basically worn out and have my wife either start question me about my day, or doing anything to set me off. I just want to have a glass of wine and be left alone in a quite room.

All my life I have just held everything in, personal things and business. Now the past few years it is getting harder and harder. I just wait for someone to start with me and I go off. Yelled at some ding dong yesterday for holding up an entire parking isle, as they were waiting for a spot 20 feet closer to the store. 

Anyways, no real advice for you. SImply telling you I understand. I try and drive home in silence now, thinking of nothing and try and decompress. Sometimes it works, but most often not. 

Wife knows I have it bad, it comes with my line of work. I just wish she could be my friend first, and talk later about the stuff that sets me off.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yeah, it's fking nuts trying to switch off and it seems the more you think about switching off the more p-ssed you get after such days. Well that's for me anyways... I seem to go...

1) WHAT A FKWIT...
2) Relax... don't bring this **** home
3) WHAT A FKWIT NOW I'M A SH-T MOOD AND MY WIFE IS GOING TO BE P-SSED HELL I WANNA FKING MURDER THAT C--T

My wife has recently apologised however...

Still I hope this never happens again but chances are it will, again and again. There's always clueless dumbass fkwits to deal with, no way around it.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I just don't get it RD. Instead of trying to calm you down and be your best friend..., she follows you around the room b*tching about unanswered sms and other stuff?
WTF???
Even a 5 year old knows better than this. 

I call it selfishness and immaturity.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yeah, but she's apologised sincerely so I'm not so angry about it now

She has a vague understanding of the word 'space' unfortunately but I hope MC will help her learn the concept of it next few months...


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## Minncouple (Sep 9, 2009)

I think my wife wants to have aguy like Tom Hanks in that movie You've got mail. Basically a emtional, sensitive, supportive, alwasy warm. Kinda like a Mr.Rodgers type guy.

I even joked about it to her and our consuler. I am just not that.

When you make the big bucks, there will be the big stress. Peroid. I could work at walmart, and she would be happier but the would complain about financial stress. I just cant win.

I dont ask anything from my wife. I dont tell her what to do, or question her about anything. Yet, all I need is a friend for 30 minutes when I come home. No questions, no demands, no honey do items, nothing. Hell, just giving me a smile and leaving me alone would even do.

I have told my wife this, and she has gotten better. But, still I see her upset by it. Damned if I do, damned if I dont type deal. If I start telling her about my day, I get angry. If I dont tell her anything and keep her in the dark I will just eventually blow up due to internal anger.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Aye... this is one hideous issue, I plan to bring this up in the next MC session which may also help my wife realise how serious I am with this - especially when I show some initiative bringing up issues that I myself can improve on for her.


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## Minncouple (Sep 9, 2009)

Good luck bringing it up.

I did in MC, and basically said, I am not this mr rodgers (you've got mail) type guy. I have never been a happy go lucky, push over, sensitive guy. Period.

The counsuler did underdstand this, but the wife still thinks she can "fix" a guy. 

The hardset part for me in all this is the constant feeling of being the mean evil bad guy. ALL THE TIME, having this feeling really wears on you and your self worth. It makes you second guess any feeling you ever have to make sure your not that guy. I cant imagine how nice it woudl be to have a wife that you really feel like she likes you and wants you to be you.


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