# A little help needed!!!



## meohme (Apr 2, 2014)

So I found this site about year ago, and just read others posts. Since then my H and I separated. I told him I could no longer deal with not being able to trust him, and it was over. Shortly after I was offered a job in another city, which of course I took w/o hesitation. This was my new start for me and our son. 

We were separated for about 3-4 months. The whole time we were separated he would tell me how we needed to make it work, and how he had changed, and how sorry he was. He would go on and on about he couldn't let go knowing that we never tried. It was water off my back for a while, but then I started to reconsider. Eventually he transferred his job to the city where I live and we started R. The only request I made in order for us to try again was for there to be no inappropriate relationships with women as far as texting/facebook etc. His words were he has learned his lesson, and that would never be an issue. Well needless to say 4 months later I find that he never actually stopped contact with the woman that started this whole mess. 

When I confronted him he made it seem like I somehow have fault. He started telling me about things I don't do for him, and that I expect the world from him. Don't get me wrong I know I'm not perfect, but why come back into a situation lying. I never once approached him about R. I didn't leave him until I knew I would be ok with never having him back. So why persue someone then lie???? In my eyes he came with dirty hands so we were doomed from the start. Now I feel like I'm stuck, and I know I would feel guilty about putting our son through this again.

I just don't understand. Any insight would be helpful.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*You've literally caught him with his pants down and now he wants to blameshift!

It's quite bad enough when someone's deceptively cheating. It's doubly bad when they boldface lie about it.

You and your son deserve far better! Time for you to move on!

Welcome to TAM, m'dear! Sorry to see you here, but you couldn't have come to a better place! Welcome to the family!*


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## meohme (Apr 2, 2014)

Oh and he's says she's just a 'friend'. Seems like a lot to risk for a simple friendship...:scratchhead:


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

meohme said:


> Oh and he's says she's just a 'friend'. Seems like a lot to risk for a simple friendship...:scratchhead:


You stated your boundaries, and he agreed. 

Then he crossed them.

What are the consequences?


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## meohme (Apr 2, 2014)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## meohme (Apr 2, 2014)

I guess I'm just finding it hard to believe I'm in this situation again. Plus the fact that we will have to live together for him to either save money to move out or to see if he finds a new job else where.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## meohme (Apr 2, 2014)

Well I went to IC. I'm trying ti figure out where I went wrong in all of this. I think that I have put up with this for so long bc I feel like I was not the best spouse I could be. But the therapist made me realize that his choices likely have nothing to do with me. That I'm just collateral damage. That doesn't make this easier, but it does ease my mind to know that its not me totally.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You didn't do anything wrong, except to trust someone, which is not a bad quality. But now you know, right? Time to move on.


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