# men,



## _Josephine_ (Sep 7, 2013)

*men, how is that with you?*

if your woman goes away for a week, would you call her daily? would you message her good morning and goodnight? or would the occassional little text during the day be enough for you, so you could take the rest of the time to relax? 

i'm wondering, is it a sign of less love to not hear every day good morning and goodnight, or is that not so important for men?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Would not call her daily. I would send a "morning babe" or "night love" type text. We would talk once or twice during the week.

Constant communication not important for me, but a "morning" and "goodnight" should pretty much be required. Beyond that, I do like me some "me time" where I have the opportunity to think and actually miss her. Hard to "miss her" if she's blowing up my phone annoying the hell outta me!

Nothing can keep you from actually missing a woman more than getting the "I miss you already" text or call before she's even on the plane...and every couple hours thereafter. 

Missing you ladies is a GOOD thing for us (at least for me). Always tell the W...I love you around, but I also love the feeling of missing you! If I miss someone, that is a GOOD thing. So let me miss you!

Give your man the gift of being able to miss you. But a morning and goodnight is a needed courtesy between loved ones...IMO.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

*Re: men, how is that with you?*



_Josephine_ said:


> if your woman goes away for a week, would you call her daily?


No



> would you message her good morning and goodnight?


No



> would the occassional little text during the day be enough for you, so you could take the rest of the time to relax?
> 
> i'm wondering, is it a sign of less love to not hear every day good morning and goodnight, or is that not so important for men?


Just because one doesn't msg someone doesn't mean they aren't thinking about you


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We might talk once a day in the evening, but it's not a problem if we miss a day. Morning/night texts seem clingy and insecure - or would to us. YMMV. If you have different needs on this, try to compromise.


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## _Josephine_ (Sep 7, 2013)

it is interesting to read! in my case, i seem to be the one who would like all those good mornings and good nights. i like to hear i miss you's and random signs of affection. he on the other hand can refocus and forgets about me, so it seems to me. i tend to see it as 'he does not love me. he probably prepares to cheat on me.', which is most likely just made up in my head. but difficult for me to overcome.


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## ILuvTheDesserts (Aug 29, 2014)

Yes I would each day I would call her if she was away. 

Why ? Because I love her and care about her and would honestly want to know how her day was either going or how it went?

Plus I know she'd want to speak to our two little ones and they would want to speak to their mommy. 

It's a feeling I don't take for granted because I know there's folks out there who wouldn't give a rat's ass about his or her spouse's day .


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Men and women sometimes care in different ways. Men show care by providing, fixing problems, trying to keep everyone safe and comfortable.

Women (i think)often show their care in words. Sometimes men can hear it so often, it loses some of its punch. They'd be more likely to say those words for once a day maybe.

At any rate, just because he's not constantly reaffirming his devotion vocally is no indication something's wrong.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

my wife travels a lot. I have realized that a phone call or text is NOT enough. I prefer a skype video conversation EVERY NIGHT.

Statistically, i get one maybe every other night, but i want more. It is too easy to just give a quick phone call, not say much, and then it is over. That is a negative hit to the relationship. A skype call would be a positive boost.

Maybe it is just me, but i need to see her facial expressions, etc.


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## Convection (Apr 20, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> my wife travels a lot. I have realized that a phone call or text is NOT enough. I prefer a skype video conversation EVERY NIGHT.


For me, this is close to the mark. Both of us enjoy constant contact. When I was in the service and overseas for a year, we did this everyday. When I was living apart from her for other military service, we talked every night, even if just for a few minutes, and I usually sent her a good morning/night text. IMO, this becomes a lot more important if you have extended or frequent separations, because maintaining a connection gets harder when you are around each other less. If separations are short and spaced out, maybe not as much of an issue.

But what we would do is kinda immaterial. What you said here:



_Josephine_ said:


> in my case, i seem to be the one who would like all those good mornings and good nights. i like to hear i miss you's and random signs of affection. he on the other hand can refocus and forgets about me, so it seems to me. i tend to see it as 'he does not love me. he probably prepares to cheat on me.', which is most likely just made up in my head. but difficult for me to overcome.


Have you said to him you'd like a little more contact when you're apart? Is there a reason you can't come to a compromise between you and him?

To answer your original question, I don't think it means he loves you less. He's most likely just compartmentalizing, keeping busy so he isn't thinking about you being gone.


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## _Josephine_ (Sep 7, 2013)

i am actually just gone for 10 days. i did not tell him, that i want more, because i don't want to be annoying. 
i think for him it is normal like this... but i feel unloved quickly and it sucks.

it's really interesting how different you guys are in your opinions and how you handle things. i see there is not just one answer to all this.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening josephine
when my wife and I are in separate locations we call daily and usually send multiple emails. The only exception is if one of us is in a location where it is not practical to call / send messages. (say the Himalayas)


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Married but Happy said:


> We might talk once a day in the evening, but it's not a problem if we miss a day. Morning/night texts seem clingy and insecure - or would to us. YMMV. If you have different needs on this, try to compromise.


It would bother me IF a man felt like this..to want to hear from him = clingy in the negative connotation & insecure... My Husband tells me he LIKES clingy ... I also love the fact that he wants to check in.. 

I am answering this for Him.....he has gone away for 5 days at a time for getting some certifications for work ...

He'd TRY to call me every am to say "Good morning"... then he'd Facebook me in pms later that day.. just to tell me how his day was....and I'd share mine.. we'd say our "I love you's / miss you/ a little flirting in that session.....and that was it -till the next morning.. 

Both of us was "satisfied" with this level of contact...it's about expressing we miss each other/ "wish you could be here" ...keeping each other informed, Knowing he is OK/ I am OK / the kids are OK...& wishing each other a good day...yet "can't wait till your home Baby"!


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> It would bother me IF a man felt like this..to want to hear from him = clingy in the negative connotation & insecure... My Husband tells me he LIKES clingy ... I also love the fact that he wants to check in..


That's your pro ... errr, preference. 

We hate being apart, but a few years ago were apart for 3 months while she took a course in another country. We tried to Skype most days, but it was more like 2 out of 3 at best. Sometimes we'd call when the computer she was using didn't work right. We couldn't text at all. During the last week of that period, I was in yet another country and we could only do occasional email and one phone call. Time differences made it even harder.

We like daily contact, but don't need it as we know how we feel about each other. We mainly want assurance that the other is okay.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

My wife does not travel, but I do sometimes for work. We make it a point to always maintain communication whether I'm away or at home. There are times when I was away that I could not call everyday, but when I did or could, it was no different than if I were physically there. 

It is not always the mushy talk and often it is more about the day to day stuff. But, I will (at home or if I'm away) at random with no pretext or never overdoing it, send my wife a simple "I love you" text.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I don't travel often, but when I do it's usually overseas so time zones become a big issue. Even with that, I try to talk or text twice a day. I would be OK with less, but my wife doesn't like it if I don't. I'm happy to make her happy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

_Josephine_ said:


> i am actually just gone for 10 days. i did not tell him, that i want more, *because i don't want to be annoying. *
> i think for him it is normal like this... but i feel unloved quickly and it sucks.
> 
> it's really interesting how different you guys are in your opinions and how you handle things. i see there is not just one answer to all this.


I would feel the same as you.. you don't want to tell him to do it..he may feel like some on this thread... thinking ..."I'm a Guy...I don't need all that...you'll be fine"... that attitude, in any measure... would just upset the apple cart.. I'd feel like SLIME at the bottom of the barrel if I got that in return...

I guess we're all wired a certain way ....

Outside of you & his being away.. what is he like at home.. does he show enough affection...or do you struggle wanting more somehow....of his time/ devotion that you feel loved by him? Could be that your love languages are on opposite ends of the spectrum even. (if so)



> *Married but Happy said:* *That's your pro ... errr, preference.*


 Yes it is a preference.. some are compatible in it - which makes it a non issue.... and some are not.. so what to do about it.. as in all these things.. hopefully a compromise will be had.. I would think such a small thing he'd want to do - to bring a  to her face- when they are apart. 

Asking too much ??


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

My wife and I both travel for work. We are very, very much in love.

No we don't talk on the phone every day, or most days. We're just not phone people much.

We do text each other everyday, throughout the day.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

If I'm the one away, I'm usually the one to reach out first by text or call. Same with him, if he's away, he reaches out first. 

I guess my feeling is the person away might not be always available to reach and it's easier for them to call when they are available. For example, I might be sightseeing or he might be golfing or fighting fires. I don't get caught up in who's doing what first or how often.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Bigger issue is if he doesn't text or call " he is preparing to cheat on me".


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

*Re: men, how is that with you?*



_Josephine_ said:


> if your woman goes away for a week, would you call her daily? would you message her good morning and goodnight? or would the occassional little text during the day be enough for you, so you could take the rest of the time to relax?
> 
> i'm wondering, is it a sign of less love to not hear every day good morning and goodnight, or is that not so important for men?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



No, I would not call her daily. I know she would love to get away for a bit, have her space and do her thing.

Would I message her a good morning and good night? No. Again, giving her some time apart and her space, is a good thing. A complete break from each other.

If my wifee went away on a work trip for almost one week, I would enjoy my time alone, my space and I'm sure she would as well. Texting each other multiple times each day, every day, doesn't give you the time to unwind, get your space and do your thing.

The only time I called my wifee every day was when we first started dating and got married.

So, to summarize, men and women need their space and away time from each other. Constant texting and calling doesn't allow this to happen. Then when he or she gets back, you will really miss each other, talk, do things together and have a lot of intimacy time.

If my wifee didn't call me after being away for say 4 days, would I think she is cheating on me? No. And vise versa.


Take the 5 love languages quiz and find out what your main need is and who you really are. Let your hubby know the results and post it somewhere he can see this every day before work.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/


My wifee works Sundays were as I do not. She used to call me 3 - 4x every Sunday for years. It drove me nuts!!! She know understands that don't call me unless its important and its our day to have some space. So no more calls on Sundays and when she gets back, I am happy to see her. Otherwise, I got quite annoyed......


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

My H hardly ever calls me during the day. (No texts, either).

Mostly because I'm kind of a crummy phone conversationalist.


It's no big deal to me. When I was a teenager (back in the Jurassic age), I didn't even like talking on the phone after school to friends all that much. I mean, I saw them today at school; and I'm going to see them again tomorrow at school.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

soccermom2three said:


> If I'm the one away, I'm usually the one to reach out first by text or call. Same with him, if he's away, he reaches out first.
> 
> I guess my feeling is the person away might not be always available to reach and it's easier for them to call when they are available. For example, I might be sightseeing or he might be golfing or fighting fires. I don't get caught up in who's doing what first or how often.


:iagree:
When traveling I always am reaching out first. I'm quite busy, and my wife isn't going to know when I'm available.


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## minebeloved (Nov 7, 2013)

I've been in an LDR for 2 years going on 3 and we don't even talk everyday. We message each other at least something everyday, but we mostly talk on weekends.


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## Devotee (Sep 22, 2013)

I'm not a dude, but when my H goes away occasionally, I do not feel it necessary for us to to speak every day. A text once a day will do. He might call me every other day for a quick update, but it would not be unheard of for a couple of days to go by without phone conversation. 

I know he's busy or having a good time, etc. We can chat at length when he returns.


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

Well my wife and I must be the texted couple king. Lol. I leave for work earlier than her. So I'll wake her with a good morning smily. Then she texts me when she leaves the house. During her break or mine I'll text or she will. Usually a loving text. A phone call at lunch to say we miss each other. The afternoon almost like the morning. All kinds of smilys during the day. Some adult smilys. Just to warm her up!!! She loves the affection.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

*Re: men, how is that with you?*



_Josephine_ said:


> if your woman goes away for a week, would you call her daily? would you message her good morning and goodnight? or would the occassional little text during the day be enough for you, so you could take the rest of the time to relax?
> 
> i'm wondering, is it a sign of less love to not hear every day good morning and goodnight, or is that not so important for men?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No it probably just means the relationship has been going on for a long time. Under those circumstances most guys are glad to be on their own for awhile.


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## MrsStudMuffin (May 11, 2014)

I work way from our home two weeks of every month in isolated and restricted areas. Mr. Studmuffin and I have been married for five years and an item for three years before that. For those 8 years we have talked every night I have been away. 

At first he would call at a time certain. I looked forward all day to hearing his deep loving voice at 8:20 p.m. and we talked about big and little things for at least half an hour. Now, my assignment has changed and I'm the one to call and it's the same. He is always home, happy to hear me and he makes me happy and makes me laugh. 

Funny, we're not chatty in person. We can drive for hours sitting just a foot away from each other and just say a few words. But each night that we're separated, we bridge the miles and highlight each day by talking to each other.


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## marriedandlonely (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm open to suggestions as to which is best for a relationship whether it is the "frequent TXT" or whether the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" idea with a huge bunch of flowers on return?


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

When we loved each other ;

For years I was so attached calling her ; and even stay the whole night awake until it is the suitable time .


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## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

I used to work away from home for the whole week (M-F), and we'd talk on the phone every night for about an hour. We said that knowing the big distance was there (250 miles) made it feel worse somehow.

Jump forward eight years, and I'm on one side of the ocean, she's on the other side. We'd Skype a few times a week... but I found that I didn't miss her as much, and a little tiny voice was starting to say 'it wouldn't be so bad if she didn't come over'. I wasn't sure what to make of it but it was the beginning of the end, the problems were finally getting to the point of no return.


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## Pollo (Oct 17, 2014)

When my wife is away we'll text each other throughout the day, not too much because she's usually busy visiting family. We'll probably skype one every 2 days or so.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Expectations !

our life is full of expectations .

When Love is there I might call her in the middle of the night ;just to her her voice and tell her the magic word.

It doesn't have a timed frequency ; wgen it's love it never varies .

No if she goes for a week , I will pray that her phone get broken


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

My wife and I have been married just over 13 years. We dated for 16 years prior. She frequently works a week at a time. I send a good morning text everyday, and the odd text during the day, usually at lunch so I am not interrupting her work. She will call or FaceTime every evening to talk to the girls and I. 
Even though we chat a lot during the week, I still miss her and can hardly wait until she gets home
I never worry about her fidelity as she does travel with men (I trust her completely). There are however the occasional nights where she goes shopping with the other women she travels with and she'll text and send pictures of what she is picking up for the kids. 
I guess it really boils down to how your communication in the relationship is.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

*Re: men, how is that with you?*



_Josephine_ said:


> if your woman goes away for a week, would you call her daily? would you message her good morning and goodnight? or would the occassional little text during the day be enough for you, so you could take the rest of the time to relax?
> 
> i'm wondering, is it a sign of less love to not hear every day good morning and goodnight, or is that not so important for men?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I always call wifey when we're apart at night. And some texts if possible during the day. 

Why wouldn't one?


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

*Re: men, how is that with you?*



_Josephine_ said:


> if your woman goes away for a week, would you call her daily? would you message her good morning and goodnight? or would the occassional little text during the day be enough for you, so you could take the rest of the time to relax?
> 
> i'm wondering, is it a sign of less love to not hear every day good morning and goodnight, or is that not so important for men?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Feel free to share this with my traveling wife thank you very much!


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Why do so many people seem to feel the need for instant communication and constant contact when apart from the one they love?

Is it from some deep seated sense of mistrust or fear?

When working away from home I do call home as soon as I am settled into the hotel and I will check in once every couple of days and would let home know if there was a problem or a change of plan but I do not feel the need to constantly communicate. 

I have been married for over 20 years and if my wife does not know how deeply I love her by now then no amount of "snapchat photo's", "instagram updates" or "Hi Honey" texts etc will make the slightest difference.


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