# Scoreboard



## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

So, since getting 3 BJ's and giving the wife oral and PIV on Christmas Eve. I decided to start marking on my calendar how many times we have sex this year.
Earlier in the Fall I had a talk with my wife about the apparent lack of sex in our marriage and mentioned that 10x a year or less is considered a sexless marriage. She of course got defensive and said we ARE well above that number. 
I then reminded her that in Sept. We only had sex once and not even on my birthday.
So, back to the topic at hand. I've decided to keep track of sexual activity on the calendar on my phone so I can add things such as when I initiate and get turned down, when she initiates (I might even have to decline now and then) and if oral was part of it or if there was any stand alone oral (which I'm sure I could fill the whole year out right now). I'm mainly doing this to see what our sex life is over a year(I hope I can keep this going). 
Since Christmas Eve, I can count on the hand that's growing out of the back of my head how many times we've had any kind of sexual activity(Wow, 2 weeks already) I've already had to jerk off more this week than the number of times we had sex in Dec. 2014(hell, I surpassed that Jan.2)
It's getting sooo easy to read her. She'll be home from work for about an hour and she'll complain she's really tired or has a headache or thinks she might be getting her 3rd period in the last 6 weeks(she sounds like a hockey game). As soon as I hear these complaints I know she has no intention of any intimate get togethers, but I try anyway. I must thrive on the rejection.
I think it will be interesting come this time next year as to how many times we actually do have sex. I she gave me 1/20th the attention the kids get I wouldn't have time to come here and read any posts.

Wish me luck!!


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

What are you going to do with this information? Have a year-end review with her?

You already know there's a problem. Statistics will not help. The guy that made the spreadsheet earlier this year and became an internet laughing stock? Guarantee he's still not getting laid.

This is not a way to fix the issue. It's just a way to stock up on ammo for future fights.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If I began to resort to documenting the LACK of sex, I'd instead start documenting the marital assets to decide how to split them in divorce.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I did it for a while, but I don't recommend it. Its easy to fall into the trap of "trying" to get the number so low that you feel justified in complaining that you aren't getting enough sex. 

The numbers don't matter. If you feel like you aren't getting enough sex, then its true.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I don't think keeping "score" on paper is going to produce the desired effect. In fact, when you show her the dismal stats in writing, she's likely to get very defensive and angry that you were tallying things up.

Why not try some marriage counseling to see if you can work through this lack of sex issue?


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

My therapist actually suggested keeping a list. The problem, such as with OP, is that one spouse will measure the number of times they have sex against their libido. So if one spouse wants sex once every two months and gets it, they're perfectly happy.

In my case I had asked my wife when we last had sex. She told me it was last week. It had actually been at least three weeks. Again, in her view she was perfectly happy since she was a once-per-month lady. 

But richardsharpe is right. It's not the number, it's whether or not you are being sexually fulfilled, whatever that number may be.


----------



## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

I think it's worthwhile if you use it for yourself and don't show it to your wife.

So, maybe you're not entirely sure whether you should be so bent out of shape by your situation. Maybe it feels like you're getting rejected 75% of the time but you're really only getting rejected 25%. It might help give you some perspective.

No value in sharing with your wife, however.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I did it, and it worked like a hot damn.

I never, ever, EVER showed it to my wife or used it as a negotiating tactic though.

It was purely for me -- trying to figure out her cycle, trying to figure out how to initiate properly, and trying to figure out objectively if my attempts to become more attractive to her were succeeding or not.

It was purely for me to try to become a better husband, and try to succeed more, not to try to change or convince her in any way.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Anon1111 said:


> I think it's worthwhile if you use it for yourself and don't show it to your wife.





marduk said:


> I did it, and it worked like a hot damn.
> 
> I never, ever, EVER showed it to my wife or used it as a negotiating tactic though.
> 
> It was purely for me to try to become a better husband, and try to succeed more, not to try to change or convince her in any way.


I can definitely see the value in this approach. Keeping a journal of sorts for your OWN knowledge and perspective. But I agree that showing it to the wife is a big no-no.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

An example of things it showed me over the course of a year or so:

- there was pretty much a linear progression with the reduction of my % body fat and how many times my wife initiated.

- there was pretty much a geometric progression with the increase in muscle mass in my arms and shoulders with how many times my wife initiated.

So all my wife insisting that my beer belly and small biceps had nothing to do with our sex life? BS. That doesn't mean she was lying -- she honestly may not realize it consciously.

Another thing? A failed but good initiation with good outcome independance (having a smile on my face and going off and doing something else fun after hearing no) virtually guaranteed success the next day.

There's more, but it allowed fine tuning for my wife.

Beware though -- and I'm serious about this -- I started to get way, way too much attention from other women because of the things I did. It caused all kind of problems with insecurity.


----------



## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

I wasn't planning on showing it to my wife. I'm doing it just to see how it works out. I'm fairly HD I could do it 6x or more a week. Right now it's been 14 days and nada. I've had days where I've taken matters into my own hands 5 times (rare, but it becomes more frequent the longer I go without) for her she would be happy once every 2 1/2-3 weeks. 

I'm hoping it's just the holiday stress and not something else.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Something I would probably do in your shoes.

Just make sure you inititate as much as you can and hope she does too or it improves.

I'm not sure if I would give her a year (probably months) but intimacy is a HUGE part of a relationship for me. Without it, not worth being in it, I would divorce (screw that)....unless it's some kind of physical disability or sickness of course.

To me, lack of intimacy or urgency to satisfy your partner = no love.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Sometimes it can be a numbers game.

This is something I had a hard time figuring out.

If 75% of the time when I initiate, I get shut down, and I try 4x a week, that means we will have sex, on average, 1x a week.

If I try 7x a week, on average, we'd have sex almost 2x a week.

They key to initiating more of course was doing it well and not punishing her, being passive aggressive, or pissy when you get a "no."


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

marduk said:


> Sometimes it can be a numbers game.
> 
> This is something I had a hard time figuring out.
> 
> ...


Keep up on initiating (even if it doesn't work). It's your 50% of responsibility in the intimate dept.

And in time bring it up to her and show here that she is not doing her part! This needs to be resolved!

She should be initiating as much as you. Relationship is a 50/50 deal. Can't have one party doing all the work and the other doing nothing.

That won't work (not in the long term)


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

My wife never initiated except for "duty sex" until I fixed the attraction issues.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

marduk said:


> My wife never initiated except for "duty sex" until I fixed the attraction issues.


How in the world did you marry a person like that is the biggest question. You kind of paved your road there BUT I'm glad it's getting better and hope it gets completely resolved.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Well, this thread isn't about me DoF, but I will say that the level of attraction was high when we got married, and we both did things to drive that down.

However, I can only fix one side of that equation and influence the other. That's all I'm trying to say.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

DoF said:


> Keep up on initiating (even if it doesn't work). It's your 50% of responsibility in the intimate dept.
> 
> And in time bring it up to her and show here that she is not doing her part! This needs to be resolved!
> 
> ...


This is an important point, and one I frequently have to remind myself of.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> If I began to resort to documenting the LACK of sex, I'd instead start documenting the marital assets to decide how to split them in divorce.



That's in a different spreadsheet on my Thinkpad 

As a scientist (?) I love metrics. You'll find that after a year of this charting your perception of frequency is far different than hers. For extra fun chart rejections too, and moods.


----------



## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

I do it to track her time of the month and to verify what I already know. Of course she will never see it...

It is useful, to me, to have an idea of frequency. Part of it is to make sure I initiate enough.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

My excel scoresheet (dashboard) is read-only :rofl:


----------



## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

So far since starting this I'm batting 1000. I let her know early in the day yesterday, we needed to have some US time. She was all for it. I guess the pressures, socially and financially over the holidays had her quite stressed. I had been down with a cold and she didn't want to get sick either. I'll try again all weekend or maybe she may want to initiate, but I won't wait for her to do that. 
Yes. I'm tracking who initiates, her cycle and anything else I can think of as well as number of rejections.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

thenub said:


> So far since starting this I'm batting 1000. I let her know early in the day yesterday, we needed to have some US time. She was all for it. I guess the pressures, socially and financially over the holidays had her quite stressed. I had been down with a cold and she didn't want to get sick either. I'll try again all weekend or maybe she may want to initiate, but I won't wait for her to do that.
> Yes. I'm tracking who initiates, her cycle and anything else I can think of as well as number of rejections.


Holidays is not an excuse. Relationship comes first/priority.

If you want to relieve that pressure of holidays, start doing shopping MONTHS before thanksgiving (that's what we do). No way in hell we are going to stores etc after thanksgiving...it's a zoo.


----------



## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

As long as you're being scientifically rigorous about this, I'd record HOW you initiate. See what kind of results you get for a variety of approaches. There's a huge difference in response between "Honey, you gotta do me tonight," and being selfless and romantic.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> As long as you're being scientifically rigorous about this, I'd record HOW you initiate. See what kind of results you get for a variety of approaches. There's a huge difference in response between "Honey, you gotta do me tonight," and being selfless and romantic.


I did that, too.

Hell, a science degree has to give you something. Certainly hasn't helped at work...

What actually surprised me was that a direct neanderthalish approach actually usually worked better than a whole romantic candlelit dinner & such...

That was pretty much really just a passive aggressive way of expecting sex.


----------



## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

All our Christmas shopping was done in September. During the Christmas holidays there are things planned almost every day/evening.
Tonight I out on a movie and she cuddled up to me to watch it. She said bluntly she wanted to fvck me after it was over. She ended up taking my d!ck out and giving me a handjob for a while then did the conversion to a bjtc.
After I knew the kids were sleeping I gave her some oral and sent her off to bed. She has an early day tomorrow but reminded me she still wants to fvck me
I've been tracking who initiates but never considered how it was initiated. I guess that will be a stat as well. Looks like she wants to make up for lost time. I guess only time will tell.


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Don't do the score card

I did this once and the only result I received was an increased level of frustration


----------



## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

So far out of the last 4 nights I'm batting 750..... She must be ovulating


----------



## Redheadguy (Jul 30, 2014)

Anyone have an app for this?


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Jira


----------



## pugsx (Feb 9, 2011)

I've been tracking for 2 years now. It has lead to 4 heart to heart talks about the lack of frequency. With the data, I also now know that DW has stepped up this year and match the number of initiations. Number of events has also gone up slightly. 

I log who initiates, her time of the month, rejections and masturbations.


----------



## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Read neuklas and Bagdon


----------



## KingofIstatements (Jul 30, 2011)

marduk said:


> - there was pretty much a linear progression with the reduction of my % body fat and how many times my wife initiated.
> 
> Beware though -- and I'm serious about this -- I started to get way, way too much attention from other women because of the things I did. It caused all kind of problems with insecurity.


I haven't felt the need to keep a chart- 1-2X PIV monthly (at most) makes the math pretty easy. I can see how it might help you OP if you have reason to think that your situation might improve with a change in behaviour on your part. 

Though I did suddenly realize a few days ago that I'll soon be coming up on the 1 yr anniversary of deciding I'd no longer ask for BJs. Perhaps it could be seen as a 'covert contract', but my intentions were (1) I always felt pathetic asking, and (2) initially just curiosity to see if a woman who once said she 'loved sucking d***' would feel inclined towards me without request. So, remembering this now, the quantification of what she thinks of me in a measurable time-scale is disturbing in a way I wasn't expecting. 

As for the above, I've been heavier (210-220#) the last few years than I have before. I'd love to think that trimming down and getting back in shape would open things up for us again. But during a recent chat my wife pointed out that most of her sexual/emotional needs are taken care of by the things I do, stuff I say to her. 

So I've realized my fear is getting in shape will just put me back into the crosshairs of desire for women except for my wife, since she's apparently fine with the way things are going.


----------



## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

I've been hitting the gym for a couple months now and have just been doing my own thing around the house (currently building a kitchen for a client). I tried initiating early last night but was turned down so I just went about my business I didn't let it bother me. I usually will text my wife around 9:00 am to see how her day is going. Today I decided to for go the morning text and see if she would even bother to text me. Finally she texted at 2:30 and asked how my day was going and if I was going to the gym tonight. I just kept my answers brief and kept working. As I was cooking dinner tonight she started with the back rubs and a$$ grabbing. I won't initiate tonight as I have another kitchen to finish rendering on the computer and I know I'll be up until at least 2:00am. 

I'll just keep working on me and doing my thing around the house. 
A couple friends from work want me to go to a strip club with them next weekend so I might take them up in the offer. I need to get out of the house at least once a year.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

thenub said:


> I've been hitting the gym for a couple months now and have just been doing my own thing around the house (currently building a kitchen for a client). I tried initiating early last night but was turned down so I just went about my business I didn't let it bother me. I usually will text my wife around 9:00 am to see how her day is going. Today I decided to for go the morning text and see if she would even bother to text me. Finally she texted at 2:30 and asked how my day was going and if I was going to the gym tonight. I just kept my answers brief and kept working. As I was cooking dinner tonight she started with the back rubs and a$$ grabbing. I won't initiate tonight as I have another kitchen to finish rendering on the computer and I know I'll be up until at least 2:00am.
> 
> I'll just keep working on me and doing my thing around the house.
> A couple friends from work want me to go to a strip club with them next weekend so I might take them up in the offer. I need to get out of the house at least once a year.


You had me up until the strip club.

Not sure the dynamic in your marriage, but that could be a massive female boner killer.


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Read farsidejunky and DayOne. They are success stories who are around here every day.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

thenub said:


> I won't initiate tonight as I have another kitchen to finish rendering on the computer and I know I'll be up until at least 2:00am.



"Not tonight, I'm rendering"... Has to be up there with the moths and mice as the best rejection line ever :lol:

I do all my renders on a superb dual quad Xeon workstation... Scary fast. Unfortunately I can't use the render pick up line on my interns....


----------



## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Wives not desiring sex are hardly all the same animal. OCD or BPD maybe uninterested because of their internal dynamic.

The wife who has lost respect for her husband is another.

The woman who is sexually bored presents a different challenge.

A woman who is in an EA or PA is another case.

A scoreboard is useless without action.


----------



## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

Rather than plotting everything on your cell phone, you should use Excel. Then you can export the data via graphs and charts to an powerpoint presentation. Hook up the computer to a couple of TVs in the house, and leave the slideshow running.


----------



## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)




----------



## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

LongWalk said:


>


2015 scorecard like that and you are lucky. 
2014? My deepest sympathies.


----------



## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Not to derail a thread, but Marduk's posts have me curious.

Marduk if you dont mind answering, how much have you lost? How "puny" were your arms before? What were you like before marriage? 

Just curious how much you changed "for the worse" and how much you have "gotten better" recently.

Always a topic Im interested in as it is obviously important in marriage for both husband and wife. Also can be a dangerous slippery slope that the spouse who views the other as "not good enough" in some area better be careful treading.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Middle of Everything said:


> Not to derail a thread, but Marduk's posts have me curious.
> 
> Marduk if you dont mind answering, how much have you lost? How "puny" were your arms before? What were you like before marriage?
> 
> ...


About 3-5 years ago I dropped 25ish lbs of fat, and gained about 15ish lbs of muscle. Didn't measure my arms, but it was noticible enough that some t-shirts or short sleeved button up shirts are uncomfortable on my biceps, and I can no longer buy suits off the rack because of my shoulder/hip ratio.

I was far from obese, but at least 20lbs overweight.

Now, I've gained 10ish of those lbs back in a combo of fat and muscle, and I fluctuate in that 10lb range for the past few years.

And, FWIW, I overdid it for a time. Once the six pack started to poke out and I was dressing a little too nice, my wife kinda became obsessed with worrying about some other woman stealing me. So I consciously pared it back to where she was still crazy attracted to me, but not crazy anxious, either. My goal was not to terrify my wife, it was to attract my wife.

If you were to see me now, I'd be in the "fairly good shape" range but neither a bodybuilder or a model kind of fitness. And I've aged, too.

Comfortably fit. Clothes fit well... but I don't avoid the occasional beer, either.

I actually probably have more muscle mass than before I was married but my body then was very different. A single guy in his 20s that lives on steak + beer and little else is surprisingly trim...

That and training pretty heavily in martial arts 5 times a week for 2 1/2 hours a day helped.

Why I gained all the muscle mass was a direct result of noticing what my wife was attracted to in other guys. Tuning the diet and exercise program -- heavy weights, lots of protein.


----------



## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

marduk said:


> I was far from obese, but at least 20lbs overweight.
> 
> Now, I've gained 10ish of those lbs back in a combo of fat and muscle, and I fluctuate in that 10lb range for the past few years.
> 
> ...


So you werent built by any manys early on but not fat either. But noticed your wife is attracted to built guys that can be tough too if im infering the motivation for the martial arts training. 

But had to scale it back so she wouldnt get too jealous?

Thats the slippery slope for me. Resentment in all of this. 

I very much get wanting the best of yourself for your spouse. Be it physically, financially, time together, etc. But be careful for what you wish for. 

I just think of some spouses realizing its never "enough" for the other. Money, looks etc. What if looking better or making more attracts the attention of someone who thinks it is enough. Or at least makes them feel like they are enough and a prize to boot.

Anywho enough rambling. Not trying to attack you or anything. Like I said its always something I think about due to similar feelings I get from my own wife. And while I want to improve in all things for her, if Im being honest there is a small voice in the back of my head telling me she can piss off. I know ive got sh!t to work out.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Middle of Everything said:


> So you werent built by any manys early on but not fat either. But noticed your wife is attracted to built guys that can be tough too if im infering the motivation for the martial arts training.
> 
> But had to scale it back so she wouldnt get too jealous?
> 
> ...


I won't lie.

I started working out because I was pissed off at myself and pissed off at her. And then, as my head cleared, I "got" why her body wasn't as attracted to my body any more.

Because that is what it is. You can't decide what you're attracted to or not attracted to. That's a bunch of stuff you just don't get to decide. So I couldn't be mad at her for it. 

But what I could do, is _use_ it.

And, yes, I was fully prepared to tell my wife to piss off if it wasn't good enough for her.


----------



## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

At what month do the rest of you predict we'll hear:

"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Marduk, 

I understand that there's a minimal standard for appearance but if we start using cutoffs for appearance vis a vis sex nobody would ever get laid.

I took up cycling and love doing it for myself. But if my partner is shallow enough to think 8 - sex, 7 - bj only, etc then I'm tossing the towel ahead of the game....


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

john117 said:


> Marduk,
> 
> I understand that there's a minimal standard for appearance but if we start using cutoffs for appearance vis a vis sex nobody would ever get laid.
> 
> I took up cycling and love doing it for myself. But if my partner is shallow enough to think 8 - sex, 7 - bj only, etc then I'm tossing the towel ahead of the game....


I think you're thinking about it too linearly.

It's not like there's a magic assessment that happens in a woman's neocortex that weighs a bunch of variables and then decides to do sexual act X.

It's "hmm... I get these funny tingles around John. He's looking really good today. And he has been really attentive... I wonder if he'd like to do X?"

The tingly trigger wasn't her logic/reason centers at all (not a biologist, or a woman, I'm winging it here!) It was her limbic system that doesn't care about logic -- it cares about procreation. 

That fires the tingles, which gets noticed, then the neocortex comes up with a justification for having those feelings...

That's my sense of it from talking to my wife and other women, anyway. There's an attraction, or a noticing of how her body feels when she's around her partner, or can't stop thinking about a partner's body, or a fantasy to do something... then the rationalization kicks in to find reasons and then they plan to act out those things, or at least be open to them.

And this happens in a split second, sometimes without the higher logic centers kicking in, I think...

That's the "it just happened, I can't believe we just did that!" stuff.

And, of course your limbic system is shallow. It's driven by millions of years of homonid sexual evolution. It doesn't care about what you're thinking about.

It cares about getting laid and making babies that will get laid and make more babies.

The same for men, I think. Me, anyway. I think maybe we're just more open to being shallow about it, maybe.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Unfortunately the limbic system after menopause in many women goes in retirement.

And if one's family is "complete" that happens as well as we have seen here.

Despite the stuff posted here about sex being very complicated in reality it's fairly simple, the body either wants or does not want sex...

The attraction etc is also a function of upbringing and culture, and we are toast there..


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

john117 said:


> Unfortunately the limbic system after menopause in many women goes in retirement.
> 
> And if one's family is "complete" that happens as well as we have seen here.
> 
> ...


Actually, I just got smacked upside the head from several women that have gone thru it on this board...

And their sex drive went up, not down.

Gives me hope.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Self selected sample.s aren't


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

marduk said:


> I think you're thinking about it too linearly.
> 
> It's not like there's a magic assessment that happens in a woman's neocortex that weighs a bunch of variables and then decides to do sexual act X.
> 
> ...


marduk,

You NAILED it. This is exactly how I feel about my SO, but you've articulated it much better than I've ever been able to. So many things that happen at the "chemistry and attraction" level that can't be explained any other way.

I find myself thinking about him all day long, in exactly the way you describe above.

I think your approach is very smart. Because it works


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Thanks, happy.


----------



## HiLibido (Dec 10, 2013)

I've been thinking about doing this myself. I've been tracking our trysts in my head, and know we've been on a "once a month or so" schedule for the last 5 months. Maybe twice in December, I'm not sure.

But last night, as I tried to initiate and was again rebuffed, she says to me, "Hey, you should be happy with 3 times in the last 2 weeks!" That doesn't match my recollection exactly, but I wasn't 100% positive, because I haven't been tracking it. I think "3 times in the last 4 weeks" would be more accurate.

Interesting the agreement here that it's for internal use only, not to be shared with the spouse. IMO, it's all about negotiation power. 

Food for thought...

I think I shall begin tracking. It's January, and I know we've had sex once this month. 

There *are* apps for that, by the way. Just search your app store for "sex tracker", "sex log" or the like. Most are free, with ads. I saw one that was PW protected, but I'm not going to put an app on my phone called "My Sex Log." ($0.99) My kids would see it and ask about it... LOL!


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

HiLibido said:


> I've been thinking about doing this myself. I've been tracking our trysts in my head, and know we've been on a "once a month or so" schedule for the last 5 months. Maybe twice in December, I'm not sure.
> 
> But last night, as I tried to initiate and was again rebuffed, she says to me, "Hey, you should be happy with 3 times in the last 2 weeks!" That doesn't match my recollection exactly, but I wasn't 100% positive, because I haven't been tracking it. I think "3 times in the last 4 weeks" would be more accurate.
> 
> ...


How did you respond?


----------



## HiLibido (Dec 10, 2013)

marduk said:


> How did you respond?


She was saying "No," so I just let it go.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

HiLibido said:


> She was saying "No," so I just let it go.


Try something to the effect of "... Ok, but look at you, when I'm around someone as hot as you, I'm like a thirsty man in a desert an hour after we're done. It's not my fault you're so hot!"

And laugh and walk away. Compliment + articulation of your desire for her + humour + outcome independence may just change her mind, or at least leave her with a smile on her face and feeling good about yourself. 

I often add some kinda Joey from friends eyeball up and down her body, but that's just how I roll.


----------



## HiLibido (Dec 10, 2013)

marduk said:


> Try something to the effect of "... Ok, but look at you, when I'm around someone as hot as you, I'm like a thirsty man in a desert an hour after we're done. It's not my fault you're so hot!"
> 
> And laugh and walk away. Compliment + articulation of your desire for her + humour + outcome independence may just change her mind, or at least leave her with a smile on her face and feeling good about yourself.
> 
> I often add some kinda Joey from friends eyeball up and down her body, but that's just how I roll.


Kewl! Me likey!


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

LongWalk said:


>


Is this a real scorecard for 2014? If so, how many of those positions are not realistic for you and your spouse? The number would not be good for a year no matter what, but it's not worth keeping tabs on positions you and your wife will never do anyways. if your wife cannot do a standing doggie style where she has to put her hands on the floor or you can't support her weight standing while her legs are wrapped around you, remove from the list.


----------

