# I think my husband is cheating with an escort



## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

My husband and I have been together for 3 yrs and married for only 1 yr with 6 months old daughter. I thought my marriage has been going pretty well as my husband is really nice, caring person and helps me a lot with my baby girl who's only 6 months old now.

Two weeks ago, my phone battery died so I decided to use my husband's phone to search for something on internet. I found out that he has been searching for escorts in the area we are living in and few other cities close by. Most of his searches were in a area that he goes on business trip. My husband has business trip every year in that area and I am assuming he is looking for escort to have an affair while he is on business trip this November. I also found out that he has been searching for places for brazillian waxing.. I found a text message he sent to a lady who does brazilian waxing who claims that she is "strictly mobile"....This was really chocking as he never showed any interest on this waxing and never discussed anythinh about this with me..

And I also found out that he ordered bunch of stuff from the website called, "wish".. He rarely order anything online.. He ordered see through panties, see through gashion gay pants (it was the description of the pants)..he never mentioned anything about this to me either..and I found out he has been searching for hotel in a city which he will be going for his business trip in november.. His company picks the hotel every yr and they pay for it.. So this was very suspicious that he has been searching for hotels in that city on dates of his business trip..

I have been having fights with my husband because I caught him watching porn and I found the internet history that he has visited "****** *******" website, where married person goes on to have an affair.....this happened about 7 months ago while I was still pregnant. I confronted him and he says he watches porn just like all other man and he kept denying that he never went on ****** ******* site.. I did not believe him but I decided to forgive him once..

Anyways I confronted him about the prostitue search, Brazilian waxing, and ordering those see through underwears....he denied doing any of these at first, but he admitted when I showed him the evidence. I told him this is totally unacceptable and that he is married man with 6 months old baby..
I said that its weird how he would want to get brazillian waxing done all of the sudden, orders see through underwears ( it was delievered and he hide them in his closet) and searching for hotels and escorts in a city he will be travelling in Novemember..

He says im misunderstanding everything and overthinking things. He never intends to meet any of those escorts, he did that search just to find his clients who he thinks is an escort??? 

And he found her ot sometning and he did that just for fun and by curiousity but didn't mean to meet them or anything bad..he wanted to get brazilian waxing done bc his down there is too hairy and it makes him sweat a lot so he tried to shave it himself and failed..so he was seeking professional help and the see through underwears only for functional reasons bc its more breathable and loose fitting than his cotton underwears?? Really? I think cotton ones are more breathable than nylon see through panties..he insisted that all these are just coincidence and I am over thinking..

I found out he has STD ( herpes virus) from 2 yrs ago.. He accused me that I got him an virus but he went to the clinic to check and I was clean. Now I am assuming he might have been having affairs with escorts in the past as well.. He has been going to business trips every yr for past 3 yrs...

I was so shocked and speechless that he has been searching for prostitues in our city and cities close by.. Now i do not trust my husband and I do not want him to go on a business trip this november.. I told him I cannot live with a liar and a man who searches for escort when he is married...he begged me for forgiveness.. I forgave him again....

After this incident, i found out that he saved the escorts phone number on his phone, contact name was " brazillian buddy". It was on his recently used contact list which he cannot manually delete.. I searched the number and found out it was number for prostitue in our city we live in....i cried after finding this out.. There is no way that this number was on recently used list if he did not call or txt within few days...... I confronted him with this, he denies again and he says he has no idea who "brazillian buddy" is he says it might be brazillian waxing lady. After I showed him what I googled... It showed the escort's face and description..and indicated which city she is in..

After this, he admitted that he saved this number but he denied that he contacted or acted upon and he says he is innocent.. 

Day after I found out about this contact saved on his phone.. He said that he had to attend a staff meeting at 9 pm, he showed me his coworker's txt msg.. It was hard to believe bc it was his day off and it was at the bar?? Anyways I let him go because he said it was mandatory.. My husband was sick due to cold and we did not go anywhere that day except for the bank.. He says he really hate to go to this meeting.. We went to the bank to deposit some cash that we saved around 7 pm and came back hime.Around 8:54 pm, he headed out to attend his staff meeting. I texted him around 10 pm he called me within 10 seconds.. He says he is with his coworkers at the bar and he is heading out to pick up his coworker Andy who was lost and could not find a bar.. I totally believed that he went to the meeting that night, he returned back home around 11:30 pm which was about 2.5 hrs..anyways, i just wanted to make sure he really went to the meeting and I just txt this Andy guy Impersonating my husband. Andy replied and he says that he didn't attend a meeting and asked if my husband attended so i figured he did not go to the meeting.

I also checked his bank account ( joint acct) and found out he withdrew 140$ after we deposted money that night.. So he prob withdrew after heading out to the meeting.. I confronted him again regarding this with the evidence I found.. He says that he went to the meeting, he insisted for two hrs and then he finally admitted that he didnt go to the meeting and he says he just got lazy and did not want to go so just stayed in a car parked in our neighbourhood for whole 2.5 hrs... I questioned him why he withdrew cash we just deposited, he says he did that bc he thought he might need cash for the meetng bc it was being held at the bar??!! Really!! You need $140?? I got so furious and I asked him to show me that cash bc he must have it since he did not go to the meeting n just stayed in the car... He says he used that cash to pay for the gas.... So he only has 60$ left..
I cannot trust him and I think he is lying, he is keep making up stories. 

All the Bars accept credit cards why withdraw cash??? And why would anyone withdraw cash for filling up gas? I think he lied to me abd went to see the escort he saved on his phone contact list and was on the recently used contact list history! I searched that the escorts ask you to ne clean before coming to them so maybe thats why he wanted to do brazilian waxing since he is so hairly down there!! My husband begged me again to forgive him when I told him I am going to see my lawer and divorce him...he says he is innocent and he swore to god he never contacted the escort and he doesn't know why its on recently used contact history.....

He thinks I am crazy and over thinking things and making it a big deal.. But would anyone lie about going to the staff meeting if they did not attend and stayed in a car for 2.5 hrs!!?? Why would he withdraw cash if he were to stay in a car resting????! I have no actual evidence that he really went to see the escort., maybe he just went to the bar to meet with the escort prior to their actual appointment?? I read on some eacort website that some agencies requires the client to meet with an escort 1-2 days prior to their appr date?? 

Please help me.. Am I just over thinking??? I really think he is lying to me on everything n making fool out of me.... Are these all coincidents??? I really cannot trust my husband anymore and I cannot let him go to his business trips anymore..i can't stop thinking about it.. Please give me advice. I an seriously thinking about getting divorce but I feel really sorry for my 6 months old baby girl.

I think my husband is a sex addict ( he watches porn almost everyday) and a biggest liar and he will repeat this for rest of his life and I don't want to live my life investigating him and suspect him.. He has a history of cheating on me before we got married...


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I only made it halfway through. Are you seriously wondering if this is all in your head? If you truly don't know for sure, it's obvious why your husband finds it so easy to cheat on you.

Did you get married because you got pregnant?

You need to divorce this man. You're going to end up with a disease far worse than herpes if you don't.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

Because he keeps denying it and I don't have an evidence to prove...


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Sunshinegurl said:


> Because he keeps denying it and I don't have an evidence to prove...


Yes you do. Have more faith in yourself and don't let him make you feel like the crazy one. You're not.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Sunshinegurl said:


> He has a history of cheating on me before we got married...


He never stopped. He has the STD to prove it.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

Thank you for reading and replying back to me, I will see my lawyer on monday..


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Please get a lawyer and drop this person yesterday.

You have no future here.

C'mon!!!!!!


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Sunshine, cut him off now.

There are worse STD's out there.

He doesn't deserve you anyway.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

It's not in your head. You are not "over thinking" anything. He's cheating. He has always cheated, he never stopped, and he won't ever stop.

You don't need a confession. You don't need to catch him in the act. You have plenty of evidence and you know he's a liar and a cheater who cannot be trusted.

Either file for divorce or accept he's a serial cheater and turn a blind eye.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Sunshine G, get out now before you contract something more serious. Your H is a liar and manipulating you telling you, you are crazy etc. none of this is in your head, do not let him convince you otherwise. Get that lawyer and proceed to the big D.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Your husband is using the escort service. You need to get a divorce lawyer ASAP. Sorry that you are here.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

But he is begging forgiveness and he insists that he is innocent....


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

I think that he is using the service but he denies, he says that he swear to god he never used the service nor attempted to contact.. Just saved it on contact out of a curiosity.. Do ppl do that?? 
If he never called why that contact be in recently contacted history! Should I get his phone carrier to provide detailed usage of his phone?


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Sunshinegurl said:


> I think that he is using the service but he denies, he says that he swear to god he never used the service nor attempted to contact.. Just saved it on contact out of a curiosity.. Do ppl do that??
> If he never called why that contact be in recently contacted history! Should I get his phone carrier to provide detailed usage of his phone?


Really sorry you are going through this. You seem to be looking for reasons to give him the benefit of the doubt. However the reality is he was shopping for escorts, and based on what you wrote this isn't his first rodeo. I can also tell you that he is definitely putting you at risk. I know a lot about this world, and all I can tell you is if all he took out is $140, he is most likely hooking up with a bottom of the barrel drug addicted escort, the kind MOST likely to have a disease. 

It sounds like he has a problem, one way to tell how often he is seeing escorts in addition to phone records is to look for cash withdrawals from your bank account between $140 -$350 dollars over the last few months. I'm assuming based on your post there will be quite a few of them.


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## JustAFamilyMan (Aug 27, 2015)

Sunshinegurl said:


> I think that he is using the service but he denies, he says that he swear to god he never used the service nor attempted to contact.. Just saved it on contact out of a curiosity.. Do ppl do that??
> If he never called why that contact be in recently contacted history! Should I get his phone carrier to provide detailed usage of his phone?


No, they don't do that. Go. Run. Far. Fast.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

I really hate to admit the truth.. I do not have an evidence he actually met one of the escorts.. Unless i find the evidence he will continue denying it...  
I checked for withdrawals of large amount but i could not find. He works in a service industry and he gets tips on daily basis which I cannot keep track,. One day i questioned why the tips are not accumulating and stuff, hwre said bc he uses it tilo buy cigarrets n sometimes buy meals or gas but i see debit transactions for these.... Maybe he has been secretly saving tips and using then when he goes to business trip..... Every year....



ReformedHubby said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > I think that he is using the service but he denies, he says that he swear to god he never used the service nor attempted to contact.. Just saved it on contact out of a curiosity.. Do ppl do that??
> ...


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

I don't think he will change either but you can advise him that you will give him a chance if he recognizes he has a serious problem, wants to save his marriage and get professional help and when he says no you're imaging things, you can evaluate your options. there may not be an emotional connection, but you will have to decide whether any good things are sufficient to tolerate constant infidelity.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

Its always been like this for past three yrs.. He lies then I find evidence and then he admits..... I threatened him i wil divorce him n told him i will give him another chance if he tells me the truth. But he says if he really went to see escort then he has no other option but to divorce but he is innocent so he deserves second chance and he promised he will change..


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

I am really frustrated and I really want him to confess and tell me the truth. I want to save this marriage if I can because of my daughter.. After reading everyone's supported comment that I realized that I can't just in denial forever i need to make a decision now...will there be any chance that I am actually thinking too much and too ahead of things? Will there be any chance that my husband actually did not go to escort and nothing happened but I am just too paranoid? 

I cannot live my life like this, full of hatred and suspect towards my husband.. This is like third time he is begging me back, I really cannot trust that this will be last time.. I think it would be much worse if I cannot cut him out now and he lies n cheats on me again in near future and gets busted. I will really end up becoming mental...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sunshinegurl said:


> But he is begging forgiveness and he insists that he is innocent....


This is what cheaters do. They lie. When you show then solid evidence they lie and try to make you think that you are crazy and making stuff up. They will beg and swear to their innocence.

He's acting exactly like a cheat... cheaters are liars. He's been lying to you for a long time.

If you feel that you need more evidence to convince yourself, we can help you find ways to get it. But the first thing you need to do is to stop telling him every time you find evidence. All that does it teaches him how to hide things from you. 

I think that you have enough evidence. The idea that he withdrew $160 and then sat in his car in your neighborhood for 2.5 hours is laughable. He's not really even a good liar.

You have enough. As your lawyer if you have enough. Most states are no fault so it's not like you need to prove infidelity in court.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sunshinegurl said:


> I really hate to admit the truth.. I do not have an evidence he actually met one of the escorts.. Unless i find the evidence he will continue denying it...
> I checked for withdrawals of large amount but i could not find. He works in a service industry and he gets tips on daily basis which I cannot keep track,. One day i questioned why the tips are not accumulating and stuff, hwre said bc he uses it tilo buy cigarrets n sometimes buy meals or gas but i see debit transactions for these.... Maybe he has been secretly saving tips and using then when he goes to business trip..... Every year....


That's what it looks like, he's withholding money so he can play and you cannot see how much he's spending on other women. That's pretty clear. So he's seriously harming your and your child financially by doing this.

The cheating is not just on his business trip. Clearly he's cheating right now, right here you live.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sunshinegurl said:


> Its always been like this for past three yrs.. He lies then I find evidence and then he admits..... I threatened him i wil divorce him n told him i will give him another chance if he tells me the truth. But he says if he really went to see escort then he has no other option but to divorce but he is innocent so he deserves second chance and he promised he will change..


If he's not seeing escorts, then why does he need to change? Why does he need a second chance?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sunshinegurl said:


> I am really frustrated and I really want him to confess and tell me the truth. I want to save this marriage if I can because of my daughter.. After reading everyone's supported comment that I realized that I can't just in denial forever i need to make a decision now...will there be any chance that I am actually thinking too much and too ahead of things? Will there be any chance that my husband actually did not go to escort and nothing happened but I am just too paranoid?
> 
> I cannot live my life like this, full of hatred and suspect towards my husband.. This is like third time he is begging me back, I really cannot trust that this will be last time.. I think it would be much worse if I cannot cut him out now and he lies n cheats on me again in near future and gets busted. I will really end up becoming mental...


He is not going to confess. Why? Because whatever he's been up to is bad enough that he knows that if you knew the whole truth you would be gone in a heart beat. Or if you stay, he would have to give up his fun and he has no plans to give it up. 

No, you are not over thinking this. Just calling escorts is enough to destroy a marriage. He is clearly doing more that than. Buying see-through underwear and for use with you? Nope.

You have enough to leave him. You just need to stop giving him changes to beg you. 

Do you have extended family and/or good friends who you could trust to talk to? It sounds like you need a support system right now.

If you need more evidence so that you can feel more sure that what you already know is right, you can do things like hide a VAR (voice activated recorder) in his car... use adhesive backed Velcro to secure it to a place like up under the front seat. If you can afford it get 2. One to keep in the car and one to trade out with it so that there is always one in the car while you listen to the other one.Leave it there for a day or two and then listen. Or better yet, get someone who trust to listen and have them tell you what they hear. Most people who cheat use their car as a private phone booth. They call to make dates, to plan and to talk to their affair partner(s). 

You can put a GPS tracker and hide it on the car. See where he is going. Then when he's were he should to be go there, or have a trusted friend go there or hire a PI. Find out what he's doing.

There are ways to find out. There are ways to retrieve deleted texts from cell phones too.

IF you got this route, do not tell him what you are doing. Do not tell him when you first find stuff proving his cheating.. Come here first and we can help you with a plan on how to confront him.

Does he spend much time on computers? Could he be using a computer to communicate with women?


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

What more do you want? Would it take seeing him actually in the act? Even if you did see that, he would say "This isn't what it looks like, I'm not cheating on you!" Come on. If he is speaking, he is lying to you. You don't need us to tell you that, do you? Really? Deep down, you know, you need to accept the truth, and set yourself free with it.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Sunshinegurl said:


> I am really frustrated and I really want him to confess and tell me the truth. I want to save this marriage if I can because of my daughter..* After reading everyone's supported comment that I realized that I can't just in denial forever i need to make a decision now...will there be any chance that I am actually thinking too much and too ahead of things? Will there be any chance that my husband actually did not go to escort and nothing happened but I am just too paranoid? *
> 
> I cannot live my life like this, full of hatred and suspect towards my husband.. This is like third time he is begging me back, I really cannot trust that this will be last time.. I think it would be much worse if I cannot cut him out now and he lies n cheats on me again in near future and gets busted. I will really end up becoming mental...


You're not thinking too much. Give yourself some of the credit we are giving you for being an intelligent woman. It's hard when you're in the middle of it to NOT second guess yourself, but this man is clearly cheating and your very life is in danger if you continue having sex as his wife! You're not going to get a confession. You're not going to get an apology. You will have to find a way to deal with that, but your first step is to divorce this man.


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## JustAFamilyMan (Aug 27, 2015)

Sunshinegurl said:


> I am really frustrated and I really want him to confess and tell me the truth. I want to save this marriage if I can because of my daughter.. After reading everyone's supported comment that I realized that I can't just in denial forever i need to make a decision now...will there be any chance that I am actually thinking too much and too ahead of things? Will there be any chance that my husband actually did not go to escort and nothing happened but I am just too paranoid?
> 
> I cannot live my life like this, full of hatred and suspect towards my husband.. This is like third time he is begging me back, I really cannot trust that this will be last time.. I think it would be much worse if I cannot cut him out now and he lies n cheats on me again in near future and gets busted. I will really end up becoming mental...


He is risking your health. Serious risk. He's risking his own health. Serious risk. Your daughter cannot be put through that. The best thing you can do for your daughter is remove him from the picture as much as possible. This isn't some mixed up love interest he ran into and made a mistake with. This is him researching and engaging in sex with low cost prostitutes. 

There is no chance, none, that he is innocent. None. This has a high likelihood in exploding into utter humiliation for you and your daughter. 

You're not crazy. He's going to try to make you feel crazy to keep you around, but sticking around is the crazy outcome. If you can find a lawyer open on Labor Day, there is no time like the present to make the best next step you can for you and your daughter.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Wow, what more evidence do you need? You have ALL the proof in the world. I bet if you caught him sleeping with her in your actual bed, he would probably say "Oh no, Honey, it's not what it looks like. She just lost an earring in our bed and I was trying to help her find it! I'm innocent, I swear!!

And then you'll come here saying.."well, I have a feeling, but I might be wrong, I don't have any proof".

Just the fact that he has an STD, that he blamed on you--and you tested clean!! That should be enough.


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## Mrs.Submission (Aug 16, 2015)

Sunshinegurl said:


> But he is begging forgiveness and he insists that he is innocent....


Why would he beg for forgiveness if he is innocent? You have evidence of your husband sleeping with sex workers. 
He has exposed you to Herpes. I'm not sure what other confirmation you need that your husband is an awful spouse. 
I'm glad that you are seeing a lawyer. So sorry that this is happening to you.


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

It is obvious to anyone not in your scary situation that he is cheating on you. The combination of fear about your & baby's future mixed with the "baby-brain" you are still likely feeling can make the obvious much less so to a new mom. You now have two options.

1. You stay because he is a great father (if he really is one) and is one of your closest friends (because friends is all you can be with a man who potentially is carrying numerous STDs in addition to betraying you marriage). You will cease all forms of sex with him because, honestly, your life depends on it. When baby is 18 you can divorce, unless he has changed into the sort of husband who deserves you before then.

2. You get the most cutthroat lawyer you can find and divorce his azz. Take him for all he is worth. A man who cheats on his wife and newborn baby deserves nothing better.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

How is your husband explaining his order from Wishes? He needed the see through panties (women's panties?) to keep himself cool? What about the gashion gay pants? He denied ordering these items until faced with proof he gave the ridiculous needing to stay cool. Have you seen him wear these items? 

Also, you have been with him the last 3 years and he got herpes 2 years ago. You don't (yet) have heroes. What more evidence do you need? Do you want to stay with him until you have a life-long STD?

All the other suspicious findings make it obvious. The only other more solid evidence would be to find him mid-session in the act with the escort. 

You deserve so much better!

RUN!!! NOW!!!


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

It was men's see through panties.,.and really short swimming trunk.. He says he ordered those to stay cool because his cotton CK ones are too tight and makes him sweat...... He never wore them.. I asked why and he said he tried them and looks too weird so he just put in his drawer and most of them he got it refunded bc it takes to long to ship.. And some of them are still in transit and not delievered yet...

He has been taking the meds everyday maybe that's how I didn't get it from him yet...

Even if I find him in the act, he will give excuses and deny...and say that its all misunderstanding anf coincidence..


Abc123wife said:


> How is your husband explaining his order from Wishes? He needed the see through panties (women's panties?) to keep himself cool? What about the gashion gay pants? He denied ordering these items until faced with proof he gave the ridiculous needing to stay cool. Have you seen him wear these items?
> 
> Also, you have been with him the last 3 years and he got herpes 2 years ago. You don't (yet) have heroes. What more evidence do you need? Do you want to stay with him until you have a life-long STD?
> 
> ...


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > I am really frustrated and I really want him to confess and tell me the truth. I want to save this marriage if I can because of my daughter.. After reading everyone's supported comment that I realized that I can't just in denial forever i need to make a decision now...will there be any chance that I am actually thinking too much and too ahead of things? Will there be any chance that my husband actually did not go to escort and nothing happened but I am just too paranoid?
> ...


Thank you for all the advice... I shouldn't have give him all the evidences i found... Should have waited till the right moment...

Maybe i need to get one of those VAR and the GPS tracker to get more evidences... He even mentioned one time, if I cannot trust a word he says, he can install GPS tracker on his phone or something so I can track him 24/7...


He doesn't use computer much.. I think he us s his phone the most.. I will see if I can get his phone txt retreived....i just feel there is no other way but get really good evidence he so cannot avoid but to admit the truth..


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > I really hate to admit the truth.. I do not have an evidence he actually met one of the escorts.. Unless i find the evidence he will continue denying it...
> ...


But he wore to god and my life that he never ever cheated and he is innocent.. If that is a lie, he can die now.... He says he only searched and saved local escorts phone number just out of curiosity but no other purpose.. But I found out this local escort's contact info was saved on his phone and it was on recently used contact a week after I bust him searching for the escorts in the city where he goes on business trip.. 

So maybe he decides to contact local eacort instead so I won't suspect him that he cheats on his business trip? He says he never met any of the escorts in his life and he absolutely has no idea how he got Herpes..


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sunshinegurl said:


> But he wore to god and my life that he never ever cheated and he is innocent.. If that is a lie, he can die now.... He says he only searched and saved local escorts phone number just out of curiosity but no other purpose.. But I found out this local escort's contact info was saved on his phone and it was on recently used contact a week after I bust him searching for the escorts in the city where he goes on business trip..
> 
> So maybe he decides to contact local eacort instead so I won't suspect him that he cheats on his business trip? He says he never met any of the escorts in his life and he absolutely has no idea how he got Herpes..


I would not be impressed by someone swearing to God and your life.. not someone who has been lying up a storm. He obviously has a broken moral system. So his swearing means nothing.

.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Sunshinegurl said:


> But he wore to god and my life that he never ever cheated and he is innocent.. If that is a lie, he can die now.... He says he only searched and saved local escorts phone number just out of curiosity but no other purpose.. But I found out this local escort's contact info was saved on his phone and it was on recently used contact a week after I bust him searching for the escorts in the city where he goes on business trip..
> 
> So maybe he decides to contact local eacort instead so I won't suspect him that he cheats on his business trip? He says he never met any of the escorts in his life and he absolutely has no idea how he got Herpes..


I'm not sure that more evidence is what you need. I think its fairly obvious what he is up to. Between the phantom case of herpes, web history, phone contact list with escort numbers, and the fact that none of his answers are even remotely believable, it all adds up. There simply is no other plausible explanation for everything that you have found. I think you are struggling with this because you really want to believe him, no matter what you find. Honestly, that is understandable. I do think the reality of the situation will eventually set in, I just hope that you realize it before things get worse.

Regarding the local escort, he didn't contact her to throw you off, he contacted her for an appointment. Him being gone for roughly two hours to a business meeting on a Saturday night that apparently didn't happen according to his coworker is all the proof you need.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

@ReformedHubby,

Welcome back!


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

You've said that he wouldn't admit it if you caught him in the act.

You said he has escort phone numbers in his phone, an STD, tip money he can spend without a trace, at least one business meeting that you know was a lie, and some interesting internet purchases.

You know he's cheating. You don't need a confession. You already know. If you didn't know, deep inside, that he's a liar and cheater, you wouldn't be here.

On a side note, anyone I have ever heard over age 12 who swear to God, on lives or on graves, that they aren't lying...are actually lying.

I watched my ex swear on everything holy that he wasn't cheating. I was on the phone with the woman he was cheating with at the time. She didn't know about me or the baby I was carrying. Ex KNEW I was on the phone with her. He knew she'd already told me everything. And that she was listening. Yet he still denied and lied. He would deny and lie to Jesus if he thought he could. That's what cheaters do. They deny and lie.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

Before we got married, I was working out of town as I work for oil and gas.. I worked out of town for 2 weeks and back for a week and my husband was living at my condo..This was about 3 years ago, we dated about 6 months then..

After finding out the escort things I started to think if there has been any incidents that indicated that he might have been cheating.

After I have been working out of town for about 5 months, I found womens hair pin in my condo under the couch when I came home for my turnaround..I believed my husband because he was loyal to me and I totally trusted that he would never cheat on me.. I asked him who's hair pin it is then he said it must be mine or my friends who visited my condo in the past...i asked all my friends and it didn't belong to anyone.. But I just let it go and trusted my husband..

Few days after this incident, I found women's metal bracelet in my bedroom by the night stand.. I started to suspect that he was bringing other women in my place while I was working out of town.. I confronted him again, he said that he found the bracelet in his pocket from his winter jacket and he said that it must be his coworker's bracelet.. He said that his coworker must have put it in his pocket by mistake as they all hang their coat in a hanger in a closet at work..

I told him I don't believe that any women would take their bracelet off when they wore it to work and put it in someone else's pocket not in her purse? After the arguement about 1 mins after my hubby posted the picture of this bracelet on his fb and put " i found this on my pocket and it must be from work, who's bracelet is it?" Then about a day after, one of his coworker replied to him saying that its her bracelet but she has no idea how it got into his pocket? 

I think my hubby posted the picture on purpose to fool me into thinking that it is not a big deal and so that I would not question him anymore?

Do you guys think that he is telling me the truth? At the same time this happened, I found out that he was using the local dating website but he denied that he ever used it eversince he created it with his ex gf few yrs ago... Anyways, I am thinking that he might have been cheating on me with local hook ups or escorts even before we got married..

I mentioned this to my hubby, he says I am goung crazy, he said he doesn't have a clue who's hair pin I found in my condo and the bracelet was his coworkers who mistakenly put it in his pocket at work.. I seaeched his coworker on fb and she seems like a big girl like size 2XL or something and my hubby is men's xs or small so i think it's impossible to think my hubby's jacket was hers...


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

So how much more of his bullsh!t are you going to buy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

ReformedHubby said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > But he wore to god and my life that he never ever cheated and he is innocent.. If that is a lie, he can die now.... He says he only searched and saved local escorts phone number just out of curiosity but no other purpose.. But I found out this local escort's contact info was saved on his phone and it was on recently used contact a week after I bust him searching for the escorts in the city where he goes on business trip..
> ...


He has been denying that he met escorts or cheated on me.. He says he is innocent and he never did anything unfaithful but to rest in his car for 2 hrs that night.. I just remembered he has a dash cam installed in his car, I asked him if I can view it for the night he was gone to his fake staff meeting. He said I can see it but there would be nothing bc he put it in a mode to automatically delete n reset every 5 mins because the memory is too small? I am not sure how this device work so I believed him but is it really true? Maybe after I said i want to check it, he just makes up stories or he already deleted the file upto date??


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## JustAFamilyMan (Aug 27, 2015)

Sunshinegurl said:


> He has been denying that he met escorts or cheated on me.. He says he is innocent and he never did anything unfaithful but to rest in his car for 2 hrs that night.. I just remembered he has a dash cam installed in his car, I asked him if I can view it for the night he was gone to his fake staff meeting. He said I can see it but there would be nothing bc he put it in a mode to automatically delete n reset every 5 mins because the memory is too small? I am not sure how this device work so I believed him but is it really true? Maybe after I said i want to check it, he just makes up stories or he already deleted the file upto date??


Female items in your apartment found after you're not home for a long time. Insane excuses for why in the case of the bracelet. Gets magic herpes. Has insane excuses for how he spends time (no one that isn't on a long-haul drive or homeless just hangs out in a car for two hours sitting there "resting"). Has access to untraceable cash, and is coming home with too little of it. Has excuses for that which do not make sense. Searches for escorts in places he's visiting when he's away from you where cash disappears again under questionable circumstances. Searches for a local escort. HAS AN ESCORT IN HIS RECENT CONTACT LIST. Has bought items that indicate sexual activity under ridiculous pretense.

There is 0% chance he's innocent. No chance. One of these things by itself would be enough to cast doubt. Two of them... pretty certain something is afoot. All of them together and it's an absolute certainty. Especially with herpes added to the mix, it's not even close.

You seem extremely sweet. That makes it all the more terrible that he's doing this to you and the way he's lying about it. There is no remorse in his actions. No sign he sees you as a partner or an equal. He's getting worse rather than better. He's bringing home STDS!!!!

RUN. FAR AWAY. FAST. You deserve so much better.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

JustAFamilyMan said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > He has been denying that he met escorts or cheated on me.. He says he is innocent and he never did anything unfaithful but to rest in his car for 2 hrs that night.. I just remembered he has a dash cam installed in his car, I asked him if I can view it for the night he was gone to his fake staff meeting. He said I can see it but there would be nothing bc he put it in a mode to automatically delete n reset every 5 mins because the memory is too small? I am not sure how this device work so I believed him but is it really true? Maybe after I said i want to check it, he just makes up stories or he already deleted the file upto date??
> ...


Thank you for your reply, it really helped me... Im just confused now since he is saying he is innocent and he wants to save this marriage.. Eversince I found out all this and that he lied to me, I demand divorce and he seems to be changed.. Maybe he is just acting that he is changing so I give him second chance again like all the other times... 

He has been cooking all three meals a day and was taking care of baby and he took 4 days as sick days since last friday.. He usually never cooks never spends time with baby and never cleans the house or help me out.. He says that even though he did not cheat or thought of going to escorts at all, he made me mad and made my heart broken so he is trying to make up for it but it is hard to believe..

Maybe he could not go to work because he is scared I would go see a lawyer when he is at work? I really need to be strong but he is being so sweet to me now and he says he only lives because of me and my daughter.. Without us his lufe is meaningless... I think I am too gullible and being too nice to him..


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## JustAFamilyMan (Aug 27, 2015)

Sunshinegurl said:


> Thank you for your reply, it really helped me... Im just confused now since he is saying he is innocent and he wants to save this marriage.. Eversince I found out all this and that he lied to me, I demand divorce and he seems to be changed.. Maybe he is just acting that he is changing so I give him second chance again like all the other times...
> 
> He has been cooking all three meals a day and was taking care of baby and he took 4 days as sick days since last friday.. He usually never cooks never spends time with baby and never cleans the house or help me out.. He says that even though he did not cheat or thought of going to escorts at all, he made me mad and made my heart broken so he is trying to make up for it but it is hard to believe..
> 
> Maybe he could not go to work because he is scared I would go see a lawyer when he is at work? I really need to be strong but he is being so sweet to me now and he says he only lives because of me and my daughter.. Without us his lufe is meaningless... I think I am too gullible and being too nice to him..


If my wife started to accuse me of cheating and demanded a divorce, my reaction would not be to start "making up" for what she imagines I did that I didn't do. Yes, I would fight to save the marriage, but I would be extremely angry and frustrated with her and my approach would be to get HER help with whatever is causing those delusions. That's because I haven't cheated and she would have to invent reasons to suspect it.

Everything about this points to his guilt. Start to finish, top to bottom. 

He wants to save the marriage he wants. The one where he can pursue whatever garbage he wants to pursue and you'll be there to keep him happy and comforted at home, raising your daughter, for those times where he just can't find a low rent hooker to keep him busy. He doesn't want to save the marriage YOU want. The one where he's faithful, loyal and loving and an excellent father. He doesn't want that marriage or else he'd be living it now.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Sunshinegurl said:


> But he wore to god and my life that he never ever cheated and he is innocent.. If that is a lie, he can die now.... He says he only searched and saved local escorts phone number just out of curiosity but no other purpose.. But I found out this local escort's contact info was saved on his phone and it was on recently used contact a week after I bust him searching for the escorts in the city where he goes on business trip..
> 
> *So maybe he decides to contact local eacort instead so I won't suspect him that he cheats on his business trip? He says he never met any of the escorts in his life and he absolutely has no idea how he got Herpes.*.


Like pretzels much? This is a very nice, twisted one.

Your husband does not want you to suspect him of cheating on his business trip, so to distract your attention, he makes you think he is cheating with an escort?


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

WandaJ said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > But he wore to god and my life that he never ever cheated and he is innocent.. If that is a lie, he can die now.... He says he only searched and saved local escorts phone number just out of curiosity but no other purpose.. But I found out this local escort's contact info was saved on his phone and it was on recently used contact a week after I bust him searching for the escorts in the city where he goes on business trip..
> ...


Maybe he decides to meet the local escorts instead so I will not suspect him when he goes to business trip, he says I can come with him to his business trip.. So i think he was searching for local instead...


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Sunshinegurl said:


> But he wore to god and my life that he never ever cheated and he is innocent.. If that is a lie, he can die now.... He says he only searched and saved local escorts phone number just out of curiosity but no other purpose.. But I found out this local escort's contact info was saved on his phone and it was on recently used contact a week after I bust him searching for the escorts in the city where he goes on business trip..
> 
> So maybe he decides to contact local eacort instead so I won't suspect him that he cheats on his business trip? He says he never met any of the escorts in his life and he absolutely has no idea how he got Herpes..


You have no idea how many posters here have said their spouse swore on their children's lives, etc. that they never cheated. And yet those posters found out otherwise. Cheaters lie. And deny. They feel they will lose everything by telling the truth so they don't. Your husband's no exception.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

JustAFamilyMan said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > Thank you for your reply, it really helped me... Im just confused now since he is saying he is innocent and he wants to save this marriage.. Eversince I found out all this and that he lied to me, I demand divorce and he seems to be changed.. Maybe he is just acting that he is changing so I give him second chance again like all the other times...
> ...


 My husband was extremely mad as well when I wanted a divorce after finding the evidence that he was searching escorts.. He said he has been accused of cheating when he is innocent.. He also said I would regret if I divorce him now because whatever I am thinking is all up in my head and not the truth..

He says eventhough he did not do anything and he is not guilty, he will try his best to save the marriage if he gets second chance. But I wonder how long it will last.. It took only few days for him to lie that he had staff meeting after he begged me to take him back (after I found out he was searching for escorts). He swears to god that he had no intention of cheating and he never cheated. 

He said if it was really guilty, he wouldn't be mad or upset and wouldn't even beg for forgiveness but to divorce..


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Sunshinegurl said:


> Maybe he decides to meet the local escorts instead so I will not suspect him when he goes to business trip, he says I can come with him to his business trip.. So i think he was searching for local instead...


Does that makes ANY difference when and how he cheated? He was looking for escort. Even if he did not make that phone call (doubtful) sooner or later he will. This is not something out of character for him, and you know it.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

Openminded said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > But he wore to god and my life that he never ever cheated and he is innocent.. If that is a lie, he can die now.... He says he only searched and saved local escorts phone number just out of curiosity but no other purpose.. But I found out this local escort's contact info was saved on his phone and it was on recently used contact a week after I bust him searching for the escorts in the city where he goes on business trip..
> ...


Maybe I am in denial and I want to believe my husband deep inside my heart... I really can't imagine how he can swear on my life n my daughter's life if he was lying....


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

sunshinegurl said:


> maybe i am in denial and i want to believe my husband deep inside my heart... I really can't imagine how he can swear on my life n my daughter's life if he was lying....


you are in denial.


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## Sunshinegurl (Sep 6, 2015)

JustAFamilyMan said:


> Sunshinegurl said:
> 
> 
> > Thank you for your reply, it really helped me... Im just confused now since he is saying he is innocent and he wants to save this marriage.. Eversince I found out all this and that he lied to me, I demand divorce and he seems to be changed.. Maybe he is just acting that he is changing so I give him second chance again like all the other times...
> ...


After going through all these.. I discovered my husband still did not delete some of the escorts numbers.. It was under, 11&7 street massage..i searched the number n it was actually a massage place but with happy ending.. And thry are located in an area where my husband will be going for his business trip. If he actually remorse and trying to work things out, why would he still keep this number? 

Should I confront him again or is it just a waste of time? When i first discovered the one escort phome number under the name " brazillian buddy" he told me he just saved that number for fun but no intention to meet them in person n now he deleted that number but I found the new number... Is he going to deny again?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Sunshinegurl said:


> Maybe I am in denial and I want to believe my husband deep inside my heart... I really can't imagine how he can swear on my life n my daughter's life if he was lying....


Many people tell themselves whatever they need to in order to stay in the marriage. So, yes, you're in denial. 

You're evaluating him by what you would do (not swear on your daughter's life if you were lying) and you shouldn't. Never assume he will act as you would. He's proven differently.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

You are so deep in denial, it's painful to read. I don't know, scratch that, I DO know what you want to hear, but no one here is going to post that yes, you are unreasonable, your husband has perfectly understandable explanations for everything, you'd be silly not to believe him, because IT IS NOT TRUE! 

Your husband is a liar. Your husband is a serial cheater. Your husband steals money that should go towards supporting you and your daughter, and gives it to prostitutes. He has brought women to your home to have sex with them. He has contracted a venereal disease from at least one of the women he has cheated with. He probably has unprotected sex with them.

These facts and more are plain as day to everyone who reads your posts. It could not be more clear. It doesn't matter what he says, because he is a liar, and he lies. Of this there is absolutely no doubt. None.

What are you going to do with this knowledge? Anything? He will not change. If you stay with him, he will keep doing this. Your daughter will catch on sooner or later. Then what?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sunshinegurl said:


> After going through all these.. I discovered my husband still did not delete some of the escorts numbers.. It was under, 11&7 street massage..i searched the number n it was actually a massage place but with happy ending.. And thry are located in an area where my husband will be going for his business trip. If he actually remorse and trying to work things out, why would he still keep this number?
> 
> Should I confront him again or is it just a waste of time? When i first discovered the one escort phome number under the name " brazillian buddy" he told me he just saved that number for fun but no intention to meet them in person n now he deleted that number but I found the new number... Is he going to deny again?


No you do not tell him of this number or anything else you find out. Just keep a record. Get copies of things... for example use your cell phone to take a picture of his cell phone with that number on it.

I agree with the others, you are so deep in denial that your posts are painful to read. You so want all of this to not be true.

Do you have one or two friends or family members how you can confide in? You really need support in your real life.

Also, please get counseling to work through this. You are going to end up in a deep depression if you don't get help. You have a new baby, right? The chances of your depression being very deep is make more so by recently having given birth. 

You need to take care of yourself. Please get the help you need.


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