# Saying the AP's name by mistake?



## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

Some know my story, STBEXH had 2 EA's. One was off and on our whole 9 year marriage, the other was for 5 months in 2011 (with an old friend he hadn't spoken to supposedly since 2000). 

My H and I are separated. He has his own apartment. 

He was over here at my house a few weeks ago to see my daughter and grandbaby.

So in general talk, he "wanted" to say my Granddaughters name Savana,, and instead said "Susan", the short term EA, which he ended in Sept. of 2011. 

Would this seem like a legitimate "slip" after not speaking for over a year? 

He lightly jokes about it, calling it his "Floridian slip".

And I know,,,, if he's my STBEXH, why am I worried about it,right?


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## MrMathias (Nov 19, 2012)

It's unsettling no doubt, and pretty disgusting. I think it is quite possible that it is just a stupid unconscious uttering because of the initial letter. 

My mother has called me by all of my siblings names many times over my life, and a couple times called my sister by the cat's name. 

It clearly hurts, and almost certainly indicates the central role the OW held in his thoughts at one point, but it could be just a slip. I mean if it isn't a 'slip' one way or the other what else is it?


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

My H has never done this, I might kill him if he did since we arent D'ing. (YET)

I find it hard to even be friends with anyone with the same name as AP. Im from the south so when I talk I have a heavy accent (so they say) and will say "carin" instead of caring and it makes me throw up a little in my mouth everytime I do it since AP's name was KAREN!

I have also known a Karen since the A and I wont even say her name, especially if Im talking to my H about it. I will say "so and so's mom".

Hate the name and anything its associated with!


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## Jason439 (Jul 16, 2012)

I guess I'm lucky that my WW's POS BF has the same first name I do. 

That actually really bothers me on a deep level. I don't know why, but it does. 

No R for us, we are separating. Her blame shifting, accusations of me having an affair while she's the one stepping outside the marriage is a deal breaker for me. 

I haven't exposed the A yet. I want to finalize our separation agreement before I pull the trigger.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Jason439 said:


> I guess I'm lucky that my WW's POS BF has the same first name I do.
> 
> That actually really bothers me on a deep level. I don't know why, but it does.
> 
> ...



I went to read your story but it appears you dont have one that you've posted yet, except when you were asking about co-habitating before you found out about an A. Hope to see you posting your story soon. Its helpful when you know people are speaking directly to you!!


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## Jason439 (Jul 16, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> I went to read your story but it appears you dont have one that you've posted yet, except when you were asking about co-habitating before you found out about an A. Hope to see you posting your story soon. Its helpful when you know people are speaking directly to you!!


I've posted bits and pieces here and there. I've learned a lot on the forum. It seems like everyone's stories are very similar. I'm amazed at how supportive strangers are to each other on here. 

I've got a huge support network of family and friends and their support has helped me greatly. 

I was going to post my whole story, but decided not to. I'm usually a very private person and don't usually air many things publicly. I might at some point after the dust settles.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Jason439 said:


> I've posted bits and pieces here and there. I've learned a lot on the forum. It seems like everyone's stories are very similar. I'm amazed at how supportive strangers are to each other on here.
> 
> I've got a huge support network of family and friends and their support has helped me greatly.
> 
> I was going to post my whole story, but decided not to. I'm usually a very private person and don't usually air many things publicly. I might at some point after the dust settles.


My husband is private himself, except with his "junk" then he likes to share that with OW, one in particular! Thats beside the point though.....he would have a cow if he knew I was posting our life story here. I dont really care what he thinks at this point. If he hadnt put me in the position to turn to strangers for support then I wouldnt be here, right? 

Good luck and post your story when you're ready


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## Jason439 (Jul 16, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> My husband is private himself, except with his "junk" then he likes to share that with OW, one in particular! Thats beside the point though.....he would have a cow if he knew I was posting our life story here. I dont really care what he thinks at this point. If he hadnt put me in the position to turn to strangers for support then I wouldnt be here, right?
> 
> Good luck and post your story when you're ready


Thank you


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

He was on and off with a woman for 9 YEARS?

What makes you so sure it never got physical?

Not that it really matters but it's important to be honest with yourself even about things that may be difficult to accept, whether it's about exhubby to be or other difficulties in your life.

I figure most supposed EAs reported on here are really PAs but it's somehow easier to pretend they didn't go that far.

Even if it's "very inconvenient" for the affair partners to get together due to work hours or geographic limitations.. love and sex always find a way.


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

kindi said:


> He was on and off with a woman for 9 YEARS?
> 
> What makes you so sure it never got physical?
> 
> ...


I don't know if it did or not with either of them. I never had any proof of anything, other than the phone logs of the calls. Never saw texts or FB chats, as were all erased before he got home. I exposed too early to investigate first. (Hadn't found TAM)
The one that was on and off for 9 years could very well of been physical, but I will never know. I only found out after exposed, that she was his exhsgf, and he did have a physical affair with her in his previous marriage. But of course now were only "just friends"...
I have mistakenly called my kids and animals wrong names sometimes,, but to blurt out one of my ex's names,,, never happened.


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