# Put in notice but employer doesn't want to let me go



## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

I have been with my company for over half my life. The company is in trouble on all fronts. I have been treated rather poorly for many years, little raises, little recognition, all while being a primary "fixer" for disgruntled clients. 

I have debt and home repairs needed. I finally went looking for a new job and got a really good offer straight away, and accepted. 

When i put in my notice my company suddenly can't stand to lose me. They asked what would it take to stay. I said a 50% raise and a 10% cash retention bonus. I thought they's say no way. They didn't. 

So let's say I make 80k and the new job is 76K, but with awesome everything, benefits, culture, growth, etc.... 
Now my floundering current employer says okay to 120k and a 12k retention bonus. ($$$ are for illustration only)

Wife has her opinion, of course. Is it really that easy, take the money, gut it out, burn the bridge with the new employer, pay off debt, fix the house, buy the newer car? Or do I move into a new future NOW?

Sidenote: My current working conditions are hellish. Company is half the size it was and we all scramble all day every day to get by. Imagine whack-a-mole where the moles are on fire. That's how it feels most days. I have issues coping that bleed into my home life and affect my physical health.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

What is your wife’s opinion? I would want my H to quit a company like you describe. 

Are jobs in your field plentiful? If they are, then I suppose you could take the extra money to accomplish your immediate goals, and then quit ASAP after that.

Will the job with the new company pay enough to reach your goals?

Your sanity and quality of life hold a lot of value. From the way you describe it, with your current employer, you are on a sinking ship on fire, that is full of rats. Personally I would jump ship so as not to become a drowned rat.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

This is never a simple trade-off. 

What difference to your life will the difference in money make? Think it through - what will you be able to afford in one case and not the other. How important is that to you? 

The current company sounds unstable - if you did stay with them for the extra $$$, if / when they fold, are you likely to be able to find another job?

A good work environment is important to overall life happiness. Usually I lean toward the working at the better place. Money doesn't buy much happiness.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Take the new job ..... the old place might just fold up anyways ...... AND you don't have that offer on a paper contract I bet (from the old job)

take the new job ......


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

If you turn down the new job and your current one goes belly up in a month what happens then? 
Take the new job and here’s a bit of free advice. 
Never make yourself indispensable,if you can’t be done without you can’t be promoted. A lot of companies have the attitude “The right man in the right place”. 
So let’s leave him there.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

I agree, take new job. Your health and peace of mind are invaluable. It is insulting that old company didn't appreciate you sooner. 

I know someone who stayed in a similar situation and in the end treatment went back to being shabby again--it was just the tenor of the company.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

AttaBoy said:


> I have been with my company for over half my life. The company is in trouble on all fronts. I have been treated rather poorly for many years, little raises, little recognition, all while being a primary "fixer" for disgruntled clients.
> 
> I have debt and home repairs needed. I finally went looking for a new job and got a really good offer straight away, and accepted.
> 
> ...



Don't do it. It was a mistake to even respond to what would it take. They did not have the nut to do the right thing before. They will target you. Just don't do it. Counter offers are crap.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

If they truly valued you, they would have compensated you this way before you found something better.

Walk.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

I would recommend to take the new job. The old job seems really stressful. What's the good of all that extra money if you hate your days and die early from the stress?


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

AttaBoy said:


> I have been with my company for over half my life. The company is in trouble on all fronts. I have been treated rather poorly for many years, little raises, little recognition, all while being a primary "fixer" for disgruntled clients.
> 
> I have debt and home repairs needed. I finally went looking for a new job and got a really good offer straight away, and accepted.
> 
> ...


Never take this deal.
You will put yourself on the chopping block.
You will be the first one cut when things get worse...Soon.
NEVER take an offer from am employer who does not pay you your worth while your there. 
NO NO NO!
You will be on the blacklist.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

I never consider counter offers. By the time I am looking, I've given my employer enough opportunities to address what is wrong.

Why stay at some place hellish just for some extra money, especially when there is so much uncertainty about their future? Are you covered a change-of-control or severance policy?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I found myself in that situation a few times, even when I retired. Only once did I stay with my employer and it was a big mistake. What happened was they never forgave me for “blackmailing” them. I learned from a friend in the company that they had their backs against the wall and could not afford to lose me so they acceded to my demands. He said that as soon as they found someone to replace me, they would and my career in that company was limited as I was no longer considered a loyal employee. 

I learned my lesson and never did that again. Just the fact that they were willing to pay me much more made me realize that they played me for a sucker all those previous years. You could be in the same position as I was. They will give you what you want but as soon as they find a suitable replacement who will work for much less, you are out the door. As an employer later on in life I never gave in to an employee. It set a bad precedent that all you had to do to get a raise was threaten to quit. Plus it showed that rather than talk to me they decided to get another job and who needed an employer who handled problems like that.

P.S. - No one is irreplaceable. I learned that from being both an employee and employer. The only problem is time is needed to find a replacement solution. I retired and I was offered double my salary to stay because they panicked. However I quit 10 months ago and they are doing just fine. Companies go on long after we are gone as no one is irreplaceable.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

There’s a reason that your current company is floundering, and if they’re floundering, how can they offer someone a huge raise plus bonus? Honestly, if it were me, at this point, I would gracefully thank them for their offer, and I would move onto a shiny new future. Also, the way you describe the working environment at your current place would solidify that for me, 137%.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Vinnydee said:


> I found myself in that situation a few times, even when I retired. Only once did I stay with my employer and it was a big mistake. What happened was they never forgave me for “blackmailing” them. I learned from a friend in the company that they had their backs against the wall and could not afford to lose me so they acceded to my demands. He said that as soon as they found someone to replace me, they would and my career in that company was limited as I was no longer considered a loyal employee.


This is what almost happened to me. But I could not fail to see that that was happening since management was largely dumb. I guess that is how they got where they were in the first place. I was able to flip to a better opportunity before they could put the screws to me, which is what they really wanted.


[quote[
I learned my lesson and never did that again. Just the fact that they were willing to pay me much more made me realize that they played me for a sucker all those previous years. You could be in the same position as I was. They will give you what you want but as soon as they find a suitable replacement who will work for much less, you are out the door. As an employer later on in life I never gave in to an employee. It set a bad precedent that all you had to do to get a raise was threaten to quit. Plus it showed that rather than talk to me they decided to get another job and who needed an employer who handled problems like that.[/QUOTE]

Yup.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

It sounds like you can't trust your current company to follow through and if they do it might put them under sooner than expected.

Find a gracious way to tell your current employer no thank you and get the heck out of there asap.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Vinnydee said:


> I found myself in that situation a few times, even when I retired. Only once did I stay with my employer and it was a big mistake. What happened was they never forgave me for “blackmailing” them. I learned from a friend in the company that they had their backs against the wall and could not afford to lose me so they acceded to my demands. He said that as soon as they found someone to replace me, they would and my career in that company was limited as I was no longer considered a loyal employee.
> 
> I learned my lesson and never did that again. Just the fact that they were willing to pay me much more made me realize that they played me for a sucker all those previous years. You could be in the same position as I was. They will give you what you want but as soon as they find a suitable replacement who will work for much less, you are out the door. As an employer later on in life I never gave in to an employee. It set a bad precedent that all you had to do to get a raise was threaten to quit. Plus it showed that rather than talk to me they decided to get another job and who needed an employer who handled problems like that.


This is what I was going to post about. I've seen it play out. The old employer makes a grand offer to keep an employee but replaces them as soon as they can. 

Why? Because once a person has voiced that they want to leave, they are no longer trusted. Often the original employer also was this itch that wants some revenge on the disloyal employee who had the audacity to look elsewhere.

They have already shown themselves to be a less than desirable place to work that does not value their employees.

Your best bet it to just move on to the new job. A change in your job will most likely open up all kinds of good things in your life that you cannot even imagine right now.


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## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

You all are the greatest. Seems unanimous. My wife wants me to do what's best for me. 

My company has always been privately held and the ownership was clearly taking as much as they could get away with. I was in a leveraged position for many years because I gave up a management position in order to devote myself to my family. (my love language btw, is devotion) I moved us to "the best place to raise a family" and I have no regrets about that part of things. We live in the country on acreage and I have been telecommuting since the internet was dial up. 

A few years ago we were sold to a private equity firm that has made radical, bewildering, and reckless changes that brought us to where I am now. This includes hiring, firing, and rehiring at the very top levels. 

I do plan as of now to turn them down and move on. Just before I started writing this response the COO messaged me that they have another proposal. My manager said they are going to offer me a "seat in the room". 

I will say though that the money would fix a lot of things for everyone. Kids and wife would see a huge boost in their quality of life. I have emotional issues about what I deserve from life and my value in the grand scheme of things. I'm the guy who fantasizes about getting hit by a Mack truck while saving a bunch of school children from that same fate. I guess it explains why I am even thinking about staying. And yes, I know I need IC, it's one thing that staying would be able to fund for me.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Look at the benefits for your new employer. Do they offer any kind of counseling services? One of the benefits sometimes offered is X sessions of counseling per year for free. Although, I don't really feel like you necessarily need counseling for what you're describing unless it's causing problems in your life. It seems like providing service for those around you is important to you, which isn't necessarily a problem itself. 

One possibility with the old company is they are getting ready for another buyout and are trying to make things look good. If they show a lot of attrition or the management structure doesn't look healthy, it would affect their ability to get a good offer. So this could be a lot of window dressing the equity firm is doing so they can make the most money for themselves and they don't really care about you or your future.


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

I would contact the new employer and see if they can sweeten their offer based on the counter offer you received. Worth a try. You can still accept their original offer if they can't increase it.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm trying to figure how a floundering company can afford to give anyone a 50% raise. I've been on the other side of this equation. I'm also trying to figure out how a 5% pay cut is a great offer. If the benefits are worth more than 5% (and they easily could be) then it is a good offer. When I was floundering, well really foundering, the employees who left earlier did better. 

50% raise is a huge pile of money. It does sound fishy.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Doesn't the new company have a decent insurance option that includes mental health counseling? 

Have you considered that mental health is as important to quality of life as anything else? You might want to rethink your living arrangements. You could rent your house out and move to a suburban setting that isn't too busy, but is closer to services, including mental health and perhaps a job with benefits that would allow you to use those services. The overall picture is important when considering what is best.


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## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

My new company has an EAP and much better coverage for things like mental health and body systems work.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

AttaBoy said:


> My new company has an EAP and much better coverage for things like mental health and body systems work.


All else...Major life changes change our DNA and make things clearer and better. 
In the words of Tom Sholtz "Don't look back"


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## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

Mr. Nail said:


> I'm trying to figure how a floundering company can afford to give anyone a 50% raise. I've been on the other side of this equation. I'm also trying to figure out how a 5% pay cut is a great offer. If the benefits are worth more than 5% (and they easily could be) then it is a good offer. When I was floundering, well really foundering, the employees who left earlier did better.
> 
> 50% raise is a huge pile of money. It does sound fishy.


Lots of people quitting and getting fired. Like I said in my original post, my company is about half the size it was, with most of the atrition in the last 18 months.

Regarding the decrease in pay. The rural area where I live has suppressed wages. The salary decrease is more than made up for in 401k match, profit sharing, and decreased medical premiums.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

So what you gunna do?


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## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

StillSearching said:


> So what you gunna do?


Now I am waiting on a call from either the President or the COO to hear what the latest proposal is. 
I can't see staying, overwhelmingly here and in my inner circle people say move on. And somewhere near the surface something that might be personal integrity is nagging me not to let myself be bought.

It will all be sorted out either today or early tomorrow. I honestly can't wait to hear their pitch, approaching it now with the lens that you all have provided for me. So thank you all again.


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## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

It was all smoke to get me talking and try to sway me. What they really offered;
The 10% bonus was really a 10% raise
The 50% increase was really long term pie in the sky target
The "in the room" was really "taking everything I shared to a big shooter meeting and really taking it to heart about the way they run the business and how they can be more in touch"
So I am feeling a bit foolish. 
I will be moving on to new and better things as of May 1.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

AttaBoy said:


> It was all smoke to get me talking and try to sway me. What they really offered;
> The 10% bonus was really a 10% raise
> The 50% increase was really long term pie in the sky target
> The "in the room" was really "taking everything I shared to a big shooter meeting and really taking it to heart about the way they run the business and how they can be more in touch"
> ...


No need to feel foolish. Yeah, that's pretty standard stuff, but you didn't commit before finding out exactly what was up.

Best wishes on your new endeavor!


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

AttaBoy said:


> It was all smoke to get me talking and try to sway me. What they really offered;
> The 10% bonus was really a 10% raise
> The 50% increase was really long term pie in the sky target
> The "in the room" was really "taking everything I shared to a big shooter meeting and really taking it to heart about the way they run the business and how they can be more in touch"
> ...


good job sussing it out... 

counter offers typically turn out bad...

Even the "big" money... you're life style matches quickly, but you still have sh#@ty job.


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