# Diary of my delusional ex-captor!



## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Attack of the ex-A-hole!

Found out through a mutual friend that she's STILL speaking behind my back. Now it's about how much of a horrible person I am.

Riiiiight.

Set the record straight with said friend, included previous conversations with my ex-captor. 

Some gems....

"_He kept harassing me to get a job and kept saying he needed to get his knee fixed._"

She was being "harassed" to get a job because a) she wasn't contributing, and b) I was to the point where arthroscopic procedures were going to be inevitable if it didn't improve. Mind you, 50 hours a week on a concrete floor and shredded joint cartilage? Yeah, they don't mix.

"_He never supported me, he never cared about my education._"

*HA.* That's friggin' PRICELESS. She was the one who always was putting herself down and claiming her work was terrible. I was the one who was telling her the exact opposite(for what it's worth, she has no art experience or education before her Graphic Design course, and she did incredibly well). We also went to an art gallery last year in St. Catharines that was showcasing the Niagara College Grad students' work. This conversation took place...

"This stuff is so amazing. Makes me feel insignificant." - her

"Who are you kidding? You can easily hang with these people. You just have to realize it. Look....I *know[/i] that this time next year, we'll be looking at YOUR work on the wall." - Me

*covers mouth in shock* But gasp! I'm unsupportive!

Moving on!

"He never gave a damn about my thoughts or feelings on things, only he mattered."

Oh. My. God. For those that don't know, I married an animal rights vegetarian. Guess what I gave up for her...?

- Very rarely ate meat, and usually not in front of her.
- She said fishing was cruel. I respected her disdain for it and didn't fish anymore.
- When preparing meals, I made them completely vegetarian and devoid of ANY byproduct of a dead animal. Did I mention I'm the only one who cooked?
- I got my residency. We had a plan to work together and save up our cash for a year. She decided to welch on that and go to school. No big, I love being on a single income and breaking myself backwards to make ends meet.

She hated war movies. I didn't watch them. She had a big issue with veal. I didn't consume it. Things she didn't like, I wouldn't support or do. But hey, what do I know. I'm only the world's worst husband.

"He just sat around while we waited for his papers, he didn't do anything."

Scoff. The hilarity here is that while I was waiting for my residency, yes, I couldn't work......legally. I worked three jobs, off the books, between casual landscaping, washing dishes at a pub, and general labour at a church hall. What did I do with this money, you ask? Put towards food, dates, personal expenses, bills....

...but hey. I did nothing. *shrug*

"He tried to block me from seeing our cats. I was afraid of what he'd do to them if I wasn't around."

From Facebook:




I've already changed my mailing address, so you won't be getting any of my crap. I also would like to share joint custody of the cats, if that's possible. If not, then I'd at least like to visit them in our apartment. Naturally, I wouldn't ask you to be there.

Click to expand...

Uh......let me get this straight. You moved out, want to share joint custody of two pets you also walked out on, and then say "our apartment"?! *twirls finger in a circular motion by ear* Kerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrazy.

"He never did anything around the apartment. He just sat on his ass on the internet or playing PS3 all day. "

Ahhh, the ol' switcheroo! Most who read my first-ever post here know that while I did admit my own mistakes and take responsibility for them, THIS isn't one of them. If anything, it's major projection on her part, whose day went like this....

Wake up at 7:30AM, knowing we had to be up at 7. 
Mutter about how she "doesn't remember" when she went to bed(Facebook knows better: Her last posts of the night were usually around 3-4AM). 
Take a shower until 7:50 AM. 
Come downstairs to a running, cleaned off, warmed up car at 8AM. I had to be at work by this time, not in my parking lot.
Drop me off at work, give me a kiss, and head to either school or her parents' house. 
Spend the time at school ignoring the professor and being on Facebook. 
Spend the time at home ignoring everybody and being on Facebook. 
Pick me up, we both go home.
Goes on Facebook while running Netflix on the TV. No, baby, I didn't want to watch that hockey game, not at all.
Eats dinner after I cook it. Here, she was actually grateful, at times I would get a "You know, you don't have to do this every night, baby...", but after we split, I cooked her dinner once while we were watching a movie, and she said "You know, you are and always will be the best cook I know".
Continues to do both activities, sometimes mixing in schoolwork with it. 
Says goodnight as I go to bed, then stays up until 3-4AM again. Repeat.

And somehow, I'M the reason we "lived like roomates".

"He was controlling! I had no freedom!"

"I'm going to hang out with my Mom tonight. Sorry, I know we were going to watch movies, but..."

No biggie. I'll keep myself occupied. Have fun.

"Going out with some friends from school. Sorry you can't come along, baby."

Ha, don't worry about it. I was going to link up with my squadron on Ace Combat anyway. 

"I'm sorry I spend so much time with my family. I feel bad because you only get to see your family once a year."

Hey...it's your family. I would never keep you from seeing your family.

"You're an amazing husband...I feel like I'm walking all over you sometimes."

Nah, you're not. You have to have a life outside of me, right silly?

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I was a controlling jerk. Such a horrible, black soul resides inside me, clearly sucking hers out by allowing her to have a social life and spending copious amounts of time with everybody who wasn't me. 

Other side of the coin?

"We're NOT going to have veal in the fridge. It's cruel."
"We only buy shampoo that isn't tested on animals. I don't care how good it smells."
"No, I don't WANT to live in Niagara Falls! I lived there my whole life. So what if the apartment is cheaper and bigger than this one?!"
"You need to be on meds."(loved this one, she decided to come off of hers and it drove her off the deep end, but refused to go back on them to stabilize)
"Don't kiss me after eating marshmallows!"
"If you're going to eat meat, then brush your teeth before you want to kiss me."
"No, we're NOT getting a Civic. I don't WANT a Civic. I don't CARE how long they last."
"I want to move to Toronto, because that's where all the jobs are!"(jobs for her, mind you. I could rot.)

Yep. Clearly, I had the upper hand in this unholiest of unholy matrimonies.

More to come, but read, laugh, and enjoy. 

I'm so detached that I don't even get angry when I hear about these things, I just laugh.*


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

Well at least you got out.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

The ironic part is that she left me, not the other way around. 

Now she's acting like I'm the scum of the earth.


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

I know what you mean.

You want me out of your life? Done.

That's when the mayhem ensues.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

And it never ends.

I find the most amusing part of a walkaway spouse is that once they're out, they'll say and do ANYTHING to make themselves look good. 

She knows better than to talk to people who were close enough to us to actually see what was going on.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

SkyHigh said:


> And it never ends.
> 
> I find the most amusing part of a walkaway spouse is that once they're out, they'll say and do ANYTHING to make themselves look good.
> 
> She knows better than to talk to people who were close enough to us to actually see what was going on.


You don't say...


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Sky,

Go to the store. Buy a big ass BBQ.

Cook meat.

Post pictures to fb.

Heck, better yet. Hold a massive BBQ meat on the grill party at YOUR place.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

I put a picture on my Twitter(which she's a follower of) of a cow in the middle of defecating on the grass, and the caption reads "VEGETARIANS - My food sh*ts all over your food".

All's quiet on her front. She's now changing her last name on all of her social media stuff.


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## Voltaire (Feb 5, 2013)

SkyHigh said:


> The ironic part is that she left me, not the other way around.
> 
> Now she's acting like I'm the scum of the earth.


For what it's worth, I'm going through the same thing. Complete rewrite of history. 

One or two crumbs of comfort for you....

A few months on and this stuff really doesn't matter too much to me. I have lost all respect for her as a person because of the convenient lapses in memory and the omissions - and who cares what someone you don't respect says or things, right? I don't know whether detachment makes all of this matter less or whether the lies make detachment easier - but either way it comes with time.

Also, if you go through any kind of legal process then the inconsistencies and holes in her story will get held up to scrutiny - and more clinically than you can ever do it because she has to just sit there and listen. You just have to hang in there and wait for that to happen. It's easier for that to happen if you just let it hang and don't do anything to counter it now - keep your powder dry. Come here to vent if you need to.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

:rofl:


SkyHigh said:


> I put a picture on my Twitter(which she's a follower of) of a cow in the middle of defecating on the grass, and the caption reads "VEGETARIANS - My food sh*ts all over your food".
> 
> All's quiet on her front. She's now changing her last name on all of her social media stuff.


:rofl:


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

"_I didn't necessarily cheat on him, per se...I just made out with a friend because I needed to know that he was what I really wanted._

*HAHAHAHAHA.* _Oh wow._


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SkyHigh said:


> "_I didn't necessarily cheat on him, per se...I just made out with a friend because I needed to know that he was what I really wanted._
> 
> *HAHAHAHAHA.* _Oh wow._


You familiar with the word "amoral"?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Yes. Very much so.

For a long time I suspected that she was. Some of the things she had done...

- Got a co-working in trouble by blabbing about an affair she was having.
- Talked numerous nonsense behind her friends' backs, and thinks they're unaware(thanks to me, some of them AREN'T).
- Applied for a "disability" grant, and got it. Reason? "I have a mental illness!" Mental illness? Untreated depression. Her grant got yanked the next semester.

Lots of questionable things. Only now, they look pretty bad on the outside.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

SkyHigh said:


> Yes. Very much so.
> 
> For a long time I suspected that she was. Some of the things she had done...
> 
> ...


Are you still in Canada? And have divorced yet?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

No, I'm back in the US. 

I'm not divorced yet. She can deal with that one all on her own, she wanted to prove to the world how "strong" she was....so she can pay for it, file it, and deal with it. Not my problem.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

SkyHigh said:


> No, I'm back in the US.
> 
> I'm not divorced yet. She can deal with that one all on her own, she wanted to prove to the world how "strong" she was....so she can pay for it, file it, and deal with it. Not my problem.


Good for you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think it's time you start telling people that she is spreading nonsense and you just don't want to hear it any more.

You are free from her. Now get free of her drama.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> I think it's time you start telling people that she is spreading nonsense and you just don't want to hear it any more.
> 
> You are free from her. Now get free of her drama.


Blastfax on Facebook

Kate's Top 5 Lies:

The only question you have to solve, is which ones are in the "top" 5?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

That's the problem...I can't find just five!

I don't necessarily go out of my way to tell people. I wait until they ask me for clarification on something, then they get the rundown. 

I'm not ashamed to do it, either. She had no problems talking behind my back, and like the good little puppy I was, I was oblivious to it. I even didn't catch the massive red flag when I texted her saying I wanted to discuss an e-mail I got, and she came home crying her eyes out, asking if the e-mail was "bad".

She likes to burn people, she's playing with the wrong flame.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SkyHigh said:


> That's the problem...I can't find just five!
> 
> I don't necessarily go out of my way to tell people. I wait until they ask me for clarification on something, then they get the rundown.
> 
> ...


Ok - make it the Top 10

(I suppose that will only be slightly less difficult)

But, it will be fun.

Think about her comment about "freedom"

The hell with the b!tch


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

I do recall this interesting conversation from recent times.

J(me): On your LJ, you mentioned you were borderline. You did this back when we were nearing our first year anniversary. Why didn't you say anything to me about this?
K: Would it have made any difference?
J: ...yes?! For chrissakes, if I knew you were BPD...
K: You would never have been with me.
J: ...no. I would have been able to understand and help.
K: Well, I'm not borderline.
J: ...liar says what?
K: Ha. Funny. I'm not Borderline.
J: Then why say it publicly?
K: I was just trying to be edgy, I guess. I took one of those online tests.
J: ...even though you show EVERY trait of a borderline, you're telling me you're not. Classic. Would you even be willing to get tested for a PD?
K: No, I particularly don't care to.
J: So, you claim to have a PD...that you lied about? 
K: I never lied about it.
J: ....my head is spinning. :X
K: :X
J: Do you even have an Axis 1 and Axis 2 diagnosis?
K: I already told you, I have OCD, Anxiety, Depression....
J: And you're unmedicated. 
K: Yes. And staying that way. I don't think pills should control a person's life.
J: I'm on 4, don't see me complaining. 
K: Well, that's you.
J: Okay there, borderline.
K: ...I'm not taking part in this conversation if you're just going to antagonize me.
J: Borderline says what?
K: ............

Nothing after that. xD


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Amoral

Leave her drowning in her own hate.

Did you really think she'd agree?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Of course I didn't think she'd agree. I'm now fully convinced that she's an expert at "mirroring". Whatever somebody is saying about somebody, she'll say.

My friend actually did this experiment over Facebook earlier tonight.

"J***** is helping me through a tough time, I'm really glad he's my friend." - friend

"Yeah. He's always great for that. He can drop everything for anybody." -- Ex

"I know :3 he's such a sweetheart" - friend

"He really is. They don't make them like him anymore." - ex....!?

Experiment...success. FOR SCIENCE!


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## Camelia (May 2, 2013)

Wow, she likes to play games, huh? So you moved from the States to Canada with her, and had to wait for paperwork before you could work, right? Am I following in that she knew that initially? Plus, I don't care for people who mock mental illness. I mean, who knows, maybe she has one, but trying to use it to one's advantage for attention purposes is just wrong. How long were you married? Oh, and the people who don't automatically know the truth about you and are trying to confirm stories they heard about you, ignore them. They are part of the problem, not the solution from what I see.

Oh, and thanks for the compliment on the name. I love this shrub with it's bright blooms in the dead of winter! Also, I love cardinals, and in a camellia shrub at a house we were living in I got to watch as both female and male sat on the eggs, and got to see the babies after they hatched. Things like that make me feel happy!

I'm sorry you have so much drama. Mine has been for the most part without drama, except for a little on my part, unfortunately. Good luck Skyhigh!


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

*HA.*

Mentioned that I'd like to bring the cat that I adopted back to the US. My oldest passed away, and his companion is incredibly depressed, he definitely needs a new friend.

She's ADAMANT that this does NOT happen, even goes so far as to twist who adopted him, started using "we" and "us". 

Messaged the friend I adopted the little guy from. This is going to be fun. She's a straight shooter and has no problems putting the princess in her place.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SkyHigh said:


> *HA.*
> 
> Mentioned that I'd like to bring the cat that I adopted back to the US. My oldest passed away, and his companion is incredibly depressed, he definitely needs a new friend.
> 
> ...


Enjoy this

Rub it in.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Camelia said:


> Wow, she likes to play games, huh? So you moved from the States to Canada with her, and had to wait for paperwork before you could work, right? Am I following in that she knew that initially? Plus, I don't care for people who mock mental illness. I mean, who knows, maybe she has one, but trying to use it to one's advantage for attention purposes is just wrong. How long were you married? Oh, and the people who don't automatically know the truth about you and are trying to confirm stories they heard about you, ignore them. They are part of the problem, not the solution from what I see.
> 
> Oh, and thanks for the compliment on the name. I love this shrub with it's bright blooms in the dead of winter! Also, I love cardinals, and in a camellia shrub at a house we were living in I got to watch as both female and male sat on the eggs, and got to see the babies after they hatched. Things like that make me feel happy!
> 
> I'm sorry you have so much drama. Mine has been for the most part without drama, except for a little on my part, unfortunately. Good luck Skyhigh!


Yep, I moved up there for her. Took awhile to get my papers, with which I worked off the books. While this was going on, she was incredibly proud of me.

Once I caught her talking sh*t behind my back, she left me. Of course, she had to do damage control, and her version of damage control is vilifying her ex so that she can be justified in leaving. That's why I'm enjoying this so much, because the lies are so obvious. 

Haha, my "Camelia" is a bit different. The character's name is actually "Tsubaki", which translates back to "Camelia". I'm a competitive BlazBlue player for tournaments, and she's one of my deadliest.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Bingo. I'm now smack dab in the middle of a history re-write. 

This is actually less infuriating and more pathetic/entertaining, if anything. 

i have to admit, I've never experienced anything like this in my entire life. Even my ex pre-marriage is rather stunned by this(we're very, very close friends due to the breakup being easy for the two of us to get through). 

I'm almost tempted to write out the entire history re-write! Some of the changes are so off-the-wall it's not even funny.


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## Northern Monkey (May 2, 2013)

They do so love the rewriting. Saves them any internal reflection.

It bothered me massively for months. now i don't much care. She can have her delusions. If they help her sleep at night, who am I to complain.

I have been facing my issues and will be better for it. What she does is no longer my concern.


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

Northern Monkey said:


> They do so love the rewriting. Saves them any internal reflection.
> 
> It bothered me massively for months. now i don't much care. She can have her delusions. If they help her sleep at night, who am I to complain.
> 
> I have been facing my issues and will be better for it. What she does is no longer my concern.


Who is this man???

:smthumbup:


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

I'm not exactly concerned, per se...I'm not losing sleep over this bullsh!t.

I AM thoroughly entertained at how much of an ass she's making of herself. In fact, one of my guilty pleasures is now jacking into an alternate Facebook and checking out hers for laughs. The rewrites are astonishing sometimes, and her enabling best friend is always there to keep the delusions going. 

Add onto that the fact that she thinks our mutual friends(read: my friends that she so happened to meet and then ignore) won't get back to me with what she's saying, and when she's confronted, she whines about "lack of privacy" and "no respect for private conversations".

I'm telling you, it doesn't get much better than this. She's like a living, breathing case study in both psychology and sociology.


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## Camelia (May 2, 2013)

See, I'm not the only who that believes there is a strong correlation between sociology and psychology. Many people think they are quite different, but I really disagree! Just take comfort in the fact that you are happier than she is, and she's the one who started this! If she has that much time on her hands to bash you, then it is time wasted with a good dose of negativity in her system. Straight poison running through her veins!


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## Northern Monkey (May 2, 2013)

I don't know i could handle looking at her facebook. Detachment was very hard for me and i think the fact we are mutually blocked helped tbh.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

I took a 4 month internet sabbatical after I found out what she had done during our marriage and separation.

I came back with an incredibly clear head. I don't wistfully look at her pictures and see the beauty that I married.

Instead I see just an unattractive, scheming, no-good woman who will go nowhere. I'm about as detached as they come.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Yep....called it!!

D***: hey bud
J******: Hey pal.
D: roflz
J: Hm?
D: i wish u were here so i could caress your face
J: Rofl. I miss you too. How's the car coming?
D: sick :O wish you were here to see it
J: Ha. Yeah man, I wish I was too. Good times at your house. How's Ash?
D: she's ash lolz
J: Rofl. 
D: OH MY GOD
J: What?!
D: you cat stealer you :O
J: Ginger says what?
D: guess who's flipping out over you wanting to take one of the cats
J: Son of a b*tch. I knew it.
D: rifflez
D: you're such a criminal
J: I know, man. Total skeez.
D: biggest pity party ever lulz
J: Ha. This is priceless. 
D: OH GOD 
D: one of the sycophants said to call the cops in his state
D: BAD BOYS BAD BOYS 
J: WHATCHA GONNA DO
D: they're coming for you
D: i wish i was coming for you
J: Oh baby, oh baby.


I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

"I have no idea what I did to him, but he's acting like an ass. He even said that he feels that meeting me was one of the biggest mistakes of his life."

*clicks SkyHigh --> Find all threads by SkyHigh*


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## Northern Monkey (May 2, 2013)

You are being TAM stalked now?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

No, I was insinuating that all she needs to do to see what she did is click my name and check out my threads. Lol.

If she DID show up here, I could care less, to be honest.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. OH MY GOD.

********** via Twitter - 47 minutes ago

RT UberFacts: Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where the victim is given so much false information they begin to doubt their own memory.

ROFL. Coming from the queen herself. Oh wow.

Happy birthday to me!


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## Northern Monkey (May 2, 2013)

The delusions are strong in this one! 

Happy Birthday!


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

If she keeps this up, I'm going after her. This used to be funny, but now I just got a tipoff from a friend that she's claiming "abuse". 

She's on that fine line. If she keeps this up, she's going to wish she never joined Facebook to begin with.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

My little birthday buddy...here's a tip from someone who came out the other side

Stop this - delete her from your FB, stop checking it, block twitter. Who cares what she's doing or what she's saying and to whom? Be a robot, stop showing her she has control over you. Because every time you get pissed off at something she does or says that's exactly what is happening


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> My little birthday buddy...here's a tip from someone who came out the other side
> 
> Stop this - delete her from your FB, stop checking it, block twitter. Who cares what she's doing or what she's saying and to whom? Be a robot, stop showing her she has control over you. Because every time you get pissed off at something she does or says that's exactly what is happening


While this normally wouldn't make me bat an eyelash, I hate, hate, HATE when she insinuates that I "abused" her. I barely came out of this nonsense with my wits intact, and she wants to play the abuse card?! Ha.

I forgot to unfollow the dummy on Twitter, so that's taken care of. Her FB, I never really look at, but I was prompted to by a mutual friend of ours. 

Times like this, I'm very appreciative of the fact that I have such good friends to begin with, the ones that constantly have my back.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

My ex said that I deprived him of being a father, stopped him from seeing his parents, prevented him from giving up drinking and smoking weed, essentially ruined the last 13 years of his life

All lies, breathtaking in their own way - the rewriting of history to justify his f*ckwittery

I just stopped responding, despite desperately wanting to do a point by point rebuttal (with examples). You know the truth - she does too. Your real friends will stick by you and those who don't can get lost anyway. You ignore her and maintain a dignified silence and it makes her look like the tw*t

I know it's hard, be strong baby brother!


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

SkyHigh said:


> While this normally wouldn't make me bat an eyelash, I hate, hate, HATE when she insinuates that I "abused" her. I barely came out of this nonsense with my wits intact, and she wants to play the abuse card?!
> 
> 
> > It's all your fault! And never forget that.
> ...


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Yep. Nothing was ever the Princess' fault. It was always the rest of the big, mean world. 

Oddly enough, I first caught wind of this while we were FRIENDS, years before we started dating. I thought it was odd how everybody else around her was wrong. 

Like an idiot, of course, I sat there and said to myself "Me? Nahhhhhh. I'm *different*! That could never happen to me!"

That was 2005. 

It's now 2013 and I'm afraid that my dunce cap is going to eventually assimilate with my skull.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SkyHigh said:


> Like an idiot, of course, I sat there and said to myself "Me? Nahhhhhh. I'm *different*! That could never happen to me!"


When I read that's now "niceguys" think (in NMMNG), it literally took my breath away.

I wondered how many of us there were?

As you can tell from this board, we're far from "different"

LOL


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Yep. Unfortunately. Thankfully my counseling has really shed light on that.

It still irks me that after all the crap she put me through, she's starting to insinuate abuse. Makes my stomach turn.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The best thing to do is block her Facebook and Twitter. Stop reading up about her (no matter how hard it is). You will never move on and begin to heal as long as you keep scoping her out/stalking her on social media. 

Let her say whatever she wants. Let people decide for themselves. To me, it says a lot about a person/their character, if they go off on public social media to sling their ex. It makes them seem immature and weak. Let her fall into her own black hole. 

My ex also posted a lot of really passive-aggressive and mean comments that were indirectly about me on his social media, and pictures of himself with really cheap-looking women. (I was not on social media but knew because I was stalking him online). I know he did this to make me angry and jealous and it worked because those things really upset me and set my healing time back even further. 

And then I decided I was not going to let what he did online effect me. So I actively stopped searching him out online and the sites I was on, I blocked him from. I sometimes would hear from my friends about things he'd done or posted on his social web sites and would tell them "That doesn't surprise me" or "I really don't want to talk about him." 

Blocking/stopping looking was the best thing I ever did. 

Out of sight, out of mind.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh and happy birthday, Bob to the third power.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Why thank you. Caesar is pleased.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Who is Caesar?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Caesar is the alternate name of Bob-cubed. 

You know, hierarchy and all that jazz.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I see.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

So far, so good today. I found that I can listen to my version of "our" song without bursting into tears.

Hers was "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White Ts.

Mine is "The Promise" by New Found Glory.

New Found Glory - The Promise with lyrics - YouTube

Today is the first day that I can listen to this in nearly a year. I had to actually DELETE this song from my phone. It used to be her ringtone.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Dear gawd, I hate that "Hey There Delilah" song. It is so annoying!

Glad to hear you are able to hear it w/o crying.


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## healing and restoration (May 21, 2013)

Hi, i can't shake the feeling that you would've wanted to work it out. you guys just didn't know how. am i right ? it seems that you still have feelings for her and do care about her, just the hurt was too much so this cold war is ensuing.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

healing and restoration said:


> Hi, i can't shake the feeling that you would've wanted to work it out. you guys just didn't know how. am i right ? it seems that you still have feelings for her and do care about her, just the hurt was too much so this cold war is ensuing.


I guess in a way, you're pretty much on the mark. I really did want things to work out, and before the separation, they were. But the massive break in my trust was far too much.

And then, considering recent events, that trust can never be restored again. I won't be with somebody who makes me look over my shoulder constantly. 

Do I resent her? Of course I do. I put my life and career on hold for her so that she could pursue hers. I cooked, I cleaned, I was our primary income at a job that was physically destroying me, while she sat around on Facebook being a "full time student". 

As for how I feel about her? There's part of me that will NEVER be able to shut down how I feel for her. Strangely enough, I DO care, even though I bag on her. I don't want to see her life circle the drain, even though it's clearly of her own volition. 

I just wish she'd get her head on straight. She's worked far too hard in school to crash and burn.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

As Billy Joel says 'you can't argue with a crazy mind.'

And yet you are still trying to. I had a similar dynamic with my ex, trying to get him to admit what he had done, trying to trick him into admitting that his lies were lies, trying to get him to see how crazy and stupid he is.

But trust me, it is pointless. You know what? Most people know that when people get divorced there are three stories: his, hers, and the truth. And most people know that they aren't going to get the truth.

I think for your friends to be coming back to you telling exactly what she said is mean and toxic. She's out of your life, so act like she's out of your life. Don't spend so much time on her anymore. In a way you are hanging onto the relationship by allowing her to have so much space in your head. 

And I did the same thing. I really wish that I could have just not let his delusions and lies bother me so much. I would have saved myself a lot of stress and moved on with my life much quicker.

I would block her from facebook. Tell your friends that you don't want to hear about what she's doing or what she is saying about you and move on. 

The spewings of a crazy mind are worthless.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Shot her a quick message today, since she's so proud of "moving on" and is "definitely going to file".

"When you file for the D, please give me a heads up so I can get my lawyer at the ready. Thanking you in advance."

And a hush falls over the message box.......


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SkyHigh said:


> Shot her a quick message today, since she's so proud of "moving on" and is "definitely going to file".
> 
> "When you file for the D, please give me a heads up so I can get my lawyer at the ready. Thanking you in advance."
> 
> And a hush falls over the message box.......


You didn't add that first part, did you?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

No. Only the two sentences at the middle of my post. Nothing more, nothing less.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Can I also say that I think you have a very sharp witted sarcastic argumentative way of communicating. Which I do too and I have to work on it. I'd like to suggest that you might attract the wrong kind of women in the future if you keep that up. 
Trust me I am the same way so I'm not insulting. Just saying it just attracts other sarcastic brats. Lol.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

I think it has more to do with internet anonymity. It's very easy to be sarcastic with a keyboard. 

Offline, I'm a pretty drastic contrast. Though lately, I've sort of embraced my former lone wolf self, so I'm slightly anti-social, but I do enjoy the company of those I like and trust.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I was referring to lines like "ginger says what?" 
Lol.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

OH! That's one of my best friends. He's the first to make ginger jokes and he is one. :O

We joke like that all the time. My ex used to say that one day he was going to take me from her and that's that, Vegas wedding.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

And who doesn't want to live in Niagara? For god's sake. I think I'd be happy just working in a winery there or selling wolf figurines to tourists. 
Being able to see that every day would be incredible. Plus all the Cuban cigars, lingerie stores and wine you could ask for. What's not to love?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

That, you'd have to ask my STBX. 

Though...I didn't expect this today.

K: Alright. I have the forms, they just need to be filled out. Your address is still ***********?
J: Mhm.
K: Cool. 
J: I'm assuming we'll both have to sign these.
K: Yes. 
J: Works for me.
K: I can have them mailed out to you as soon as I can.
J: No rush here. Whenever you can.
K: Thank you. By the way.....
J: ....?
K: ...Happy 31. 
J: Thanks...means a lot. 

Didn't expect to get a happy birthday from her.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Awkward. Ex's are so weird.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Seriously.

It actually made me smile when she sent that to me. 

We've had moments during our friendship when we were on speaking terms, but birthdays were always a source of communication.


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