# Wifehas ADHD, Not attracted to me anymore



## Ed R (Nov 26, 2009)

My wife has just recently been diagnosed with ADHD. We have been married for 13 years. We have argued lately over such things as my finding "dirty" emails from my Wife to a person where she works who is 10 years younger. My Wife during a heated discussion informed me that she feels no sexual attraction to me. This hurts so bad. I am a very jealous and insecure person based on being cheated on in a previous marriage. My Wife tells me that her non attraction is not me because she lost interest in sex in both of her previous marriages. We have two teenagers and I love my family very much. We are seeing a therapists but I am so worried that she will not want me anymore. I am sexually frustrated as it has been 2 months since having any kind of sexual intamacy. My Wife tells me to go masturbate but she does not understand I am in need of her. I want intamacy from her so bad. She says that if she does become intimate with me she will feel resentment.


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

Edr. This sounds like a very hurtful and bad situation that your in. I wish I had words of wisdom for you but im just here to say im sorry you are going through this. Rejection is a very painful feeling sexual or otherwise. I hope you can do something nice for yourself this holiday weekend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ed R (Nov 26, 2009)

noideato20---Thank you so much. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone and unfortunately I do not have an abundance of options because of the sensitive nature. I just feel lonely. I want her to want me sooo bad. I sit and wait to see if I will get a hug at bedtime. Thanks for listening. Have a great Holiday and weekend.


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## danl (Nov 14, 2009)

I feel for u Ed, this sucks.
At least your wife told u to go masterbate, mine did one worse and told me to go to someone else for sex, talk about saying something hurtful. She also told me she wouldnt engage in a relationship or sex with anyone until we were divorced. A few days later I asked her why she is willing to live with that double standard, that I can go out and she wouldnt, then she informed me that if I do it, she will do it also. 
I call that a revenge f**k on her part, just trying to hurt me some more. Either way, Im not gonna look, I want her and only her.
I cant believe how much I miss not only the sex, but more the clossness and intamacy, never reliezed how important it was to me. 
I wish us both good luck, we need it.


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## Ed R (Nov 26, 2009)

Danl, we could be twins or roomates down the road. I am so in tune with what you are saying. I can't start over. I want no others. She has always been the one and always will. We need to figure this out and save our lives. I am so worried she is going to stray. I used to be good enough. She says my insecurity has always been an issue but she does not understand that her undiagnosed ADHD was not helping. By the way, I hate Facebook. I think she is way to into it. I get nervous/jealous whenever she gets on it. Do not fly the white flag yet. If you don't mind maybe we can hook up here tomorrow and see how tonight goes. I think its good to have a friend that knows how you feel exactly.


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

You two guys and your bonding. haha I just spent about four hours hosting his family over here for thanksgiving. Everyone knows were on the divorce road. I swear sometimes when you want it and they dont I totally think they hold it ransom!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## danl (Nov 14, 2009)

Ed, yes Im to worried she is out looking or already has someone, just havnt proven it yet. She leaves too many signs to just ignore, loosing weight, buys lots of new cloths, makeup, hair stuff, today I saw a new bottle of perfume in the bedroom. She has never bought perfume before, I always did. She shaves every day now, and not just the legs, never did that for me in the past. spends so much time in the bathroom doing her hair now. When I question her about all this, she says she's doing it all for her, to make herself feel better. Lots of texting all the time, turns off the cell phone when I come home, lots of stuff, I dont like it, she always seems to be hiding something from me.
Mine was on FB a lot to, then I found a pic on her page that I didnt like and told her so, so she punished me by closing her entire account. I was actually glad she did, there was too much time being spent on there.
I keep feeling that a women needs love and affection, if she wont take it from me, then she's taking from someone else, just havnt proven it yet.


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## Ed R (Nov 26, 2009)

I have not been the easiest to live with. I truly believe we are capable of beating this. Last night she woke up feeling a bit sick. I ran to the store at 4:00am to get her some gingerale. I rubbed her back until she fell asleep. I would do anything for her. I don' know if she really understands that That I love he so much. I am working on some of my issues. I promised her yesterday that I would not constantly question her as to who she is texting or on Facebook with.. I just need to trust her. It is just so hard to not want her texting or emailing the guy she sent the emails to. I want to let her know how dedicated I am to taking this ADHD journey with her and not behind her. I will adapt and learn how to help her with it. I have told her this but I really don't know if it has sunk in. I want my Wife to want to kiss me as a Husband again and not as a in passing bedtime habit. I want to be able to rub her feet without wondering if its okay to touch her. I'm learning and changing as fast as I can. We are waiting for a book to arrive at the house called ADHD and romance. I am hoping this will help her become attracted to me again. Its been 2 months since I have been intimate with my Wife. I am frustrated. I need her touch so bad. I goofed the other night. I asked her if there was anyway that we could be together just to provide pleasure to each other without her feeling resentment toward me. That was not such a smart thing toask. It changed the entire mood of the evening. I felt it. I knew not to ask but I could not stop. I just want to be with her so bad. We don't have to actually have sex, just touching would be nice. It hurt me so bad when out of the blue she told me that she is not attracted physically, emotionally etc to me. No romantic feelings but she loves me. I would never say that to her as I could never feel that toward her. She is so wonderful, I will win her heart if only she would let me in. Again, past week we have not fought. We hve had great talks but no insight on why she feels nothing for me. My life is in our therapist hands. Hes a good man who wants to help us.


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## Ed R (Nov 26, 2009)

Dan- how are you pal?


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## danl (Nov 14, 2009)

not good.


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