# Need to vent and have someone tell me I'm right



## strzzy456 (Oct 30, 2012)

Quick background. Sept. '12 husband isn't happy. Oct. '12 find out about affair with 23 year old (he's 50). He moves on Nov. '12. Now Feb. '13 he's been seeing a 29 year old with child. We are separated but not divorced yet. He is seeing her when he has my boys with him. I told him it wasn't right and that anyone would agree with me. He says "it only makes sense that we'd all be together". My boys are almost 5. They are asking me who she is, etc. "Is she our cousin, mommy?" 

How do I deal with this? Even when we official divorce I think I can put it in the document no overnight visits with people who aren't related but I can't stop him from seeing her when my boys are around. I can't follow him around.

How do I handle the anger this causes? Please tell me he shouldn't have our boys around her.


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## workingatit (Nov 13, 2012)

OMG! I would be INFURIATED. I have no advice on how to handle it, but yes, you are absolutely right. I hope more experienced TAM people will give you advice on how to handle......I am sorry you have to deal with this crap....that is horrible...


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## strzzy456 (Oct 30, 2012)

Anyone out there? Anyone have advice?


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

This is so wrong.
But sadly, the "overnight guest" clause rarely gets enforced. Couples put it in agreements, but unless your X signs it, it is extremely unlikely any judge would put it in. The courts don't want to police couples houseguests.
Having said that, he is so wrong.It doesn't make sense that they all be together. It shows an utter lack of respect for the mother of his children, and his kids. Unless he means keep all his children together. Yuck. I'd be upfront with the boys and say that she is daddy's new girlfriend. They will figure it out, I'm sorry to say. So wrong.


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## strzzy456 (Oct 30, 2012)

So basically he can do what he wants...Ugggh! the crazy thing is that he is a mental health therapist!!!!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I know. Should he do whatever he wants. No. What kind of custody arrangement do you 2 have? If you don't have an agreement yet, it might be worth asking for full custody, and cite his behavior. What a schmuck he is. He is deep in the fog and thinking only of himself.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Find yourself a shark attorney.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

UpnOver said:


> *Find yourself a shark attorney...*


...One who will immediately file a TRO on your behalf to prohibit such sordid acts on his part, and who will ultimately help you lose him like a bad habit!


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## strzzy456 (Oct 30, 2012)

What is a TRO?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

My apologies for using the acronym~ 

*Temporary Restraining Order*

To avoid it, he would be compelled to testify before the presiding judge and convince them that his actions in doing so are strictly in the best interests of the children.

Having said that, and as they richly say down here in Texas~ "that ol' dog just ain't going to hunt!"


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

strzzy456 said:


> So basically he can do what he wants...Ugggh! the crazy thing is that he is a mental health therapist!!!!


Did you know marriage counselors have the highest divorce rate of all the professions?

You find an enormous number of codependent types in healthcare.


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Conrad said:


> Did you know marriage counselors have the highest divorce rate of all the professions?
> 
> You find an enormous number of codependent types in healthcare.


This is so true. My STBX is an autism specialist and I'm the one that deals with our boys autism. He is doing everything wrong from a therapy standpoint. 

They rationalize their actions well. It's part of their coping mechanisms and avoidance of facing the real issues. 

I agree with the TRO though. It may be in the kids' best interest.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

He's 50 and you have a 5 year old. Let me guess. He was married before and he cheated with you?


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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

SadSamIAm said:


> He's 50 and you have a 5 year old. Let me guess. He was married before and he cheated with you?


Hate to say it but..
That is what I was thinking as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## strzzy456 (Oct 30, 2012)

SadSamIAm said:


> He's 50 and you have a 5 year old. Let me guess. He was married before and he cheated with you?


He was not married before and did not cheat with me. What does being 50 with a 5 year old make you think that?
We've been married for 11 years. I struggled with infertility. It took us a while to finally have children.


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