# Facts about affairs



## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

Bears can destroy even the strongest of marriages.

Even happy marriages are susceptible to bear encounters.

Women are more likely to have a bear for emotional reasons.

Bear ownership is not the leading cause of divorce.

Most spouses are unaware that their partner even has a bear.

The propensity to want a bear maybe genetic.

17% of divorces in the United States are caused by bears.

68% of women and 74% of men in the United States say they would have a bear if they knew they would never get caught.

Bear ownership is a sin against God!

Bears eat children's happiness and will seek to destroy their future relationships. Bears are d1cks!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

*Re: Facts that can save your relationship*

I came up with this after my voice recognition turned the word affair into a bear. I couldn't stop laughing.
I just took facts about affairs and replaced affair with bear.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thebadguy (Dec 7, 2012)

Is the surest way to survive a bear attack to play dead or run like Usain Bolt?

To protect the stuff you care about from a bear, do you tie it up in a sack and hang it from a tree?

Does not using soap or deodorant help to keep bears from finding you in the wild? 

Ok...that's all I got.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

I prefer to use the word "cheating" or "promiscuous behavior"...

Affair just sounds like some Hollywood tragic romance word.

Romanticizing infidelity is akin to spraying perfume on a pile of poo.

lol


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Bears should be beaten for what they have done.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Last Fall, I hiked 50+ miles on the AT in a highly concentrated Bear area. What I found out was... if you stay close to the trail, and don't go looking for something on the fringe for pure excitement... Bears will rarely put you in danger.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

Fifty Shades of Grey bear with handcuffs deemed 'safe for all ages' goes on sale - Weird News - News - The Independent


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> View attachment 17282
> 
> 
> 
> Bears should be beaten for what they have done.


That is a funny picture. At age 17 I chased a bear in the rain with a hiking stick, in my boxers because he just nocked the tent down next to mine and the guys were screaming. After about a 100yds I did the WTF was I doing!


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

*Re: Facts that can save your relationship*



Cloaked said:


> I came up with this after my voice recognition turned the word affair into a bear. I couldn't stop laughing.
> 
> I just took facts about affairs and replaced affair with bear.


You must have done more than that. A bit of creative editing perhaps? Because if I change the word _bear_ back to _affair_ in the following quoted lines in your post, it makes no sense. 



Cloaked said:


> Even happy marriages are susceptible to bear encounters.
> 
> Bear ownership is not the leading cause of divorce.
> 
> Bears eat children's happiness and will seek to destroy their future relationships. Bears are d1cks!


_Even happy marriages are suseptible to affair encounters.

Affair ownership is not the leading cause of divorce.

Affairs eat children's happiness and will seek to destroy their future relationships.

Affairs are d1cks!_


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

lenzi said:


> You must have done more than that. A bit of creative editing perhaps? Because if I change the word _bear_ back to _affair_ in the following quoted lines in your post, it makes no sense.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I did. I thought about stating that but didn't think it was needed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Cloaked said:


> I did. I thought about stating tha tbut didn't think it was needed.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I knew it! (Although I don't get the whole thing about destroying the children's future relationships..where the heck did THAT come from?)

Lenzi's work is finished on this thread. Off he goes to find new adventures, new relationship problems to fix, ways to bring joy to others in their time of need..


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

lenzi said:


> I knew it! (Although I don't get the whole thing about destroying the children's future relationships..where the heck did THAT come from?)
> 
> Lenzi's work is finished on this thread. Off he goes to find new adventures, new relationship problems to fix, ways to bring joy to others in their time of need..


That comment is from my own personal experience. My father had an affair and it ruined our family. And all of his children have had very unfulfilling relationships. And from what I've discovered in counseling a lot of my own personal issues stem from what my father did to us. So for my own personal experience affairs have long lasting effects.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Ok fair enough. 

I will try switching the words the other way around in a joke I found online.

Q: How do affairs keep their den cool in summer?

A: They use affair conditioning!


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

- Bear often hide, especially if they think you're on to them.
- Potential Bear sneaks up on people.
- Bear should be exposed so everyone can see what they are.
- Some people like bear meat but I hear it's very greasy.
- Anyone looking for a bear can find one. They're everywhere.
- Young bear pretend to not know they are a bear.


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## stublerne (Feb 22, 2014)

I hiked 50+ miles on the AT in a highly concentrated Bear area.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

• Bears are emotional omnivores ....and will eat your soul

• Bears will sh!t on you ...and they will occasionally sh!t in the woods for good measure...


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

This is ****ing hilarious. 

****ing hilarious.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Thundarr said:


> *
> - Bear often hide, especially if they think you're on to them.
> - Anyone looking for a bear can find one. They're everywhere.*


I agree those Bears are indeed everywhere... but they can be sneaky! My wife owned 3 Bears for many years running. I suspected she was feeding and caring for a Bear for years before actually catching her with one. 

She said that she had become addicted to the danger of playing with Bears. Our Bear Counselor told me that Bear Addiction is very common in spite of the inherent dangers.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Do not feed the bears!

I spoke with a Packers fan earlier this year and he said that the bears suck!

That is similar to a fact I believe about affairs. Affairs suck!


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

Common phrases bear owners will give:

I wouldn't even have a bear if you would have paid more attention to me!

I never promised you I wouldn't go out and find a bear.

I would've killed myself if I didn't have a bear!!

I wouldn't be able to make it through the day if I couldn't spend time with my bear.

Well if you would have put out more often I wouldn't need a bear!

When I'm with my bear I feel desired, loved, delicious.

I didn't put honey out for the bear! The bear just happened!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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