# poll for women: porn - yay or nay?



## fix this (Nov 14, 2012)

how many of you girls watch porn or have zero issues with it? curious to hear the female opinions!


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## 2ofus (Dec 25, 2012)

I enjoy watching it with or without my husband. No issues at all.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

I'm not a fan of porn and don't like it. I really don't understand the fantasy of it all. I also don't like the way women are looked at and treated in these videos. It's just not my cup of tea.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Porn, if you're talking about porn between consenting adults, doesn't bother me so long as the person isn't addicted to it and isn't stopping sex with their spouse to feed the porn habit.


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## Pammycake (Jan 16, 2013)

i have watched porn in the past and always felt so dirty and guilty afterwards. there are better alternatives for arousal. so i would have to go with nay.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Ok, I voted the "unacceptable....dealbreaker" option, but there is more to it than that. We agreed long ago, no porn in our marriage. Because of our agreement, I would give him a chance to get rid of it. If he didn't, then that would be a dealbreaker. He knows how I feel about it in our marriage.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

In my youth, I tried to be the Christian good girl, I didn't care for Porn, I remember us putting some on & thinking "Oh that is so disgusting, how can anyone want to watch that !!" and I associated everything ....sexually degrading, sinful, stripperish, people using each other - with Pornography... but 

Yet....I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS was turned on & loved a steamy Hot Rated R sex scene (couldn't get enough of that)....and.... Romance Novels, bring them on !! (I do see these as woman's porn).... so the erotic brain still had it's wheels turning....but my beliefs were conflicted with what I enjoyed. I felt sinful but yet, I LOVED & craved Lust. 

I started to LOVE visual Porn 4 yrs ago when I reached my sexual PEAK in midlife..... I swear it would have been a deal breaker FOR ME had my husband been uptight about it, I don't think I could have controlled myself -the allure was *that strong* for me......that has to be what young men go through - in this way, I understand them. 

So I was very thankful my husband is the way he is... not too conservative minded & judgemental...or we would have had some real issues I believe getting through that. So we happily enjoyed it together & had a BLAST with it. Rented it for about 10 months.... In our marriage, we save every orgasm for each other (or almost).... I've had more without him -than he's had without me over the years - which is terribly ODD ... compared to the norm.....that's us! 

We both prefer the Soft stuff... I still go for the Romantically geared Porn...not at all easy to find..when renting , a lot of hit or miss there. Anything that depicts, what we see as degrading, neither of us would enjoy it....like at all.

My husband has never been a Hard Core man....which I do so appreciate.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I can't watch it. I can't stand to look at any others mans manhood other then my husbands. I could use, look and play with my own husbands manhood all day long too(wouldn't that be nice to actually have the time to do so). 

Porn and looking at other naked people is not for me. I also only fantasize about my husband and no other man as well. This may be strange, but it works for me.

My husband doesn't look at porn either. He's one of the first man I've known not to look at porn.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

We don't use it, we discussed it and don't feel that is healthy for marriage. I would never use it and he doesn't care for it either, but if he went back on his word and wouldn't stop then it would be a deal breaker.


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## stopandmakecoffee (Jan 2, 2013)

depends on the genre.
erotica or sensual 'porn' is fine by me. X erotica makes some pretty nice vids. more feminine-ish taste of adult video.
but that's all i can tolerate. 
i found these videos as extra motivation to keep my body in shape. 
i watch it alone because STBXH is not into porn and he thinks porn is ridiculous.


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

I have watched porn in the past & used it when I was younger. Now just see it as pathetic - the garbage kids use to jerk off. Grew out of it.

Holds no appeal at all. Hubby uses it & if he would do it & leave me alone (sexually) maybe I would have a more favorable view.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

No way. I don't want to see another naked man. And I don't want my husband seeing other naked women. Exclusivity is important to both of us and we agreed before marriage that, even in our fantasies, we would be utterly faithful to each other.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I watch it. I only like amateur, the other stuff is so fake I cant bear to watch, lol!


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I actually find it a turn off.

H looks from time to time... it's never been an issue though. He's never rejected me in preference to porn or spent insane amounts of time on it.

It's just a non-issue for us.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I think marraige should be sexual exclusive and be just between those two people.. Watching porn, getting a roused by and getting off on other people is not sexual exclusivity. 

I also think the majority of porn is terribly degrading to women and from a human rights standpoint I definitely wouldn't use it.
I worry about the state of the world and the ability of men and women to empathize and care about each other when women are treated so cruelly and degraded and used as cum buckets and its all ok because people got their rocks off.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lazarus (Jan 17, 2011)

It dehumanises women. Men into porn in a big way is a red flag for any woman. If she is looking for a decent man ditch the porn users. 

A man heavilly into porn can become like an addict on crack using more and more porn and moving on to the next level.. Prostitutes or meet ups with people on the net. Woman are associated as animals, bunnies, cows and seen as game for an easy lay, a score. a sport.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I think marraige should be sexual *exclusive* and be just between those two people.. Watching porn, getting a roused by and getting off on other people is not *sexual exclusivity*.
> 
> I also think the majority of porn is terribly degrading to women and from a human rights standpoint I definitely wouldn't use it.
> I worry about the state of the world and the ability of men and women to empathize and care about each other when women are treated so cruelly and degraded and used as cum buckets and its all ok because people got their rocks off.


Alot of talk about Exclusivity on here from those who are against a little porn viewing.....

When I read this post...it dawned on me... this is how I view CASUAL SEX .... I feel this ruins empathy for human beings... just for pleasure, for empowerment, for experience... we get our Rocks off.... but the majority, even those against porn, seem to think Casual sex is fine & dandy. I can't wrap the brain around that... 

Here is my thoughts to this .... I don't care what others do... I may not want to marry a Porn star....or those who think Casual sex is "all good, empowering & praised for experience".... I'm against that...there in lies one of my personal deal breakers....but if others enjoy that lifestyle/ choose it, maybe don't want to get married......I'll withhold the judgement..... but I'm also not going to deny that what they are showing off ....isn't arousing... cause it damn well IS! If they want to indulge...package & sell it...it's a free country... It's also human to enjoy some of that. I do not view husbands or wives in a bad light (or less) for enjoying a little Porn..... some have great marriages. 



Created2Write said:


> *Exclusivity* is important to both of us and we agreed before marriage that, even in our fantasies, we would be utterly faithful to each other.


See I feel a little fantasy is normal, it's human......We'll never be able to Police our spouses mind..... but IF we can acknowledge that fantasy is not betrayal... we are more likely to share our sexual fantasies with each other....which I would see as very very healthy. 

When we started renting...I went after all the ..."How To's"..."Loving Sex" Dvd's ...Instructional... some with real married couples.. / pro monogamy.....I just wanted to breath in everything/anything I feel we missed over the years....seeking new & creative heights...My motivation was to spice *US* up....so they were "visual".... 

So what .... we all got the same equipment -a little varied in size/hariness/ maybe shape....... it's the man attached to it in the here & now laying in my bed kissing my neck that makes it oh so personal, emotional, beautiful, special & exclusive, that the







gushes. 

Overwhelmingly every fantasy I have is me & him going back in time - young, vibrant & sexually frisky doing many things we should have done back then. 

Not long ago, we were laying there together, I was watching a little porn...I looked him in the eyes....& said .... "Tell me the truth.....does it bother you I enjoy looking at these men?" - he says to me with a  ..."Why ...are you slipping out on me going to the studio when I am at work?".... He again assured me ..no, not at all. And I've told him, the day he no longer cares to view some hotties, is the day I know he'll need Test treatment.. No, I'd prefer a faithful "dirty old man" any day. I'll keep him!

The exclusivity we have with each other is very very special - beings we've only been with each other in this lifetime...he has my heart, my soul and only he has touched my intimate places... You can't get no more "exclusive" than that. 

If there is one thing I absolutely know (for my own marriage ~ not speaking for others)... it is that a little porn viewing has NOT.... in any way, shape or form stolen anything beautiful from us.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

If you are upset by women being degraded in porn try watching gay porn. It can be very hot. Also there is a whole genre of supposedly straight men supposedly doing gay porn for money that I like. I guess it's seeing the tables turned. 
When I was younger I liked it a lot. Now that I'm older and I'm old enough to me the mother of the people in the video it's hard to watch. I like mature or amateur. I feel gross watching 19 year olds, they look like kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

We enjoy watching porn in our sex life, we dont see a problem with it at all. We don't like the hardcore gaping hole type, and while we love the creamp** type, its a big turn off when it becomes a squirt-it-in-a-glass type! EWWW! There is some beautiful softer style porn out there thats romantic and highly sensual. Everyone's different based on different life experiences but both of our have been great and we use that to our advantage


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Kylie84 said:


> There is some beautiful softer style porn out there thats romantic and highly sensual.


 I found some of these highly passionate







... In those renting months....when I come across something this beautiful, I got excited about it.. 


Erotic Strip Dance DVD - Loving Sex DVD Series This is about learning how to do erotic dancing for your husband....each step.. pure delightful ending... a slow sensual passionate making love scene....beautiful.

Playgirl: Sexual Sensations  That couple on the cover of this DVD is the scene, I think it was called Marital Bliss or something....very slow, loving and passionate. 

Candida Royalle's Three Daughters Scene at the end (always at the end...very passionate). Candida Royalle Dvd's were all geared towards Romantic / women's porn. 




> Everyone's different based on different life experiences but both of our have been great and we use that to our advantage


 My life experience was Religious beliefs had me feeling any type of Lust or fantasy was sinful...this belief hindered me sexually....and I regret these things very much  ...I suppose there is some balance to all of this, and maybe I have not found it - yet ... but enjoying a little porn, in our experience, it was a grand ride.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

fix this said:


> how many of you girls watch porn or have zero issues with it? curious to hear the female opinions!


I don't like videos but I love pics and gifs.SO isn't comfortable with that so I don't view them anymore.I'd be ok if he wanted to watch porn or look at pics with me but I'd be a little hurt if he did it behind my back.


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## Kimberley17 (Oct 10, 2011)

Created2Write said:


> No way. I don't want to see another naked man. And I don't want my husband seeing other naked women. Exclusivity is important to both of us and we agreed before marriage that, even in our fantasies, we would be utterly faithful to each other.


IMO this is the most unrealistic thing I have ever heard and insecure. What if you go to a movie and there's nudity? It bothers you that your husband is seeing that? And you can only fantasize about each other? I'm a woman but I don't buy that anyone, especially a man, doesn't think/wonder/fantasize about other women. I feel it's completely natural and normal and doesn't make anyone unfaithful. To say "Exclusivity is important to both of us and we agreed before marriage that, even in our fantasies, we would be utterly faithful to each other" is a joke. Sorry, just how I feel. And if you believe he never fantasizes about other women you are being naive.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I didn't vote.

To me it really depends on the kind of porn and also how it's handled in the relationship. My ex abused porn in my opinion and was/is addicted to it. His tastes changed to "normal" stuff to the more hardcore, degrading and really vile stuff. For instance, deepthroat gagging videos where a woman is forced oral until the point of vomitting and even worse stuff than that involved consuming someone else's bodily waste and the women just looked so drugged out and depraved in their eyes. That's sick in my opinion.

I didn't find that out until D-Day either. Before that, he only showed me things that were what I'd consider "normal", consensual porn. I also had no idea how much of it he was watching before then. I knew he watched it and was okay with it and even watched it with him sometimes but definitely not the stuff that he literally hid from me in the ceiling (he hid hundreds of GBs and DVDs in the drop ceiling in our basement).

Personally, since D-day, the thought of porn turns my stomach a bit. I haven't felt the need to view it or desire since discovering my ex's hidden stash. Before that, I did occassionally watch it alone but only really the amatuer stuff between consenting adults and "real people" (couples). I still think that's okay I guess but I don't even care to watch that at this point in my life.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

fix this said:


> how many of you girls watch porn or have zero issues with it? curious to hear the female opinions!


How many of you boys watch porn?


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## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

It would be interesting to see a poll of how often they (women) watch porn alone; that's where the real male/female line is drawn.

T


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Kimberley17 said:


> IMO this is the most unrealistic thing I have ever heard and insecure. What if you go to a movie and there's nudity? It bothers you that your husband is seeing that? And you can only fantasize about each other? I'm a woman but *I don't buy that anyone, especially a man, doesn't think/wonder/fantasize about other women.* I feel it's completely natural and normal and doesn't make anyone unfaithful. *To say "Exclusivity is important to both of us and we agreed before marriage that, even in our fantasies, we would be utterly faithful to each other" is a joke.* Sorry, just how I feel. And if you believe he never fantasizes about other women you are being naive.


Exactly...that's how YOU feel. You. Not her. Not her husband. Not me. Not my husband. You don't have to "buy it". It doesn't concern YOU. I don't fantasize about other men. I certainly don't fantasize about women. I suspect that if I asked my husband about his fantasies, he'd say they're only about me. I have no reason to NOT believe him about it. If that makes me naive, so be it. Don't care if you think that about me. Regarding movies.... my husband is one of those rare men who will fast forward through nudity/sex scenes. And even the ones with brief nudity, it is breast or ass only. Breast doesn't bother me because I breastfed all of our kids, even in public. Doesn't even faze him. Seeing someone's ass, male or female... meh. it's the same as you see on the beaches when it comes to women, and for men, it doesn't affect me. 

So, sorry to burst your bubble, but there ARE people out there who don't fantasize about anyone other than their spouses. And they have perfectly healthy marriages. It doesn't make them insecure. There's nothing wrong with staying faithful to your spouse, in your own view, by reserving even fantasies for the spouse. It's a personal choice. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Tony55 said:


> It would be interesting to see a poll of how often they (women) watch porn alone; that's where the real male/female line is drawn.
> 
> T


Really?? I've seen women on here post that they enjoy watching porn on their own as well. And there are men who don't watch any at all. So, how do you figure that would be where the line is drawn? :scratchhead:


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I just wonder how does one enforce a promise to only think about the spouse even in fantasy? If your (using a general your here, not anyone specific) spouse promised that, how do you know that in the shower alone when he's jerking off that he's thinking of you? How could anyone ever know what's secretly in someone else's thoughts?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> I just wonder how does one enforce a promise to only think about the spouse even in fantasy? If your (using a general your here, not anyone specific) spouse promised that, how do you know that in the shower alone when he's jerking off that he's thinking of you? How could anyone ever know what's secretly in someone else's thoughts?


I'd say that someone who doesn't masturbate would have a fairly easy time keeping that promise.


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## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Really?? I've seen women on here post that they enjoy watching porn on their own as well. And there are men who don't watch any at all. So, how do you figure that would be where the line is drawn?


Let me clarify, I said; _"It would be interesting to see a poll of *how often* they (women) watch porn alone; that's where the real male/female line is drawn."_ I didn't say women don't watch porn alone. I'll say it another way; it would be interesting to know the *differences in the frequency of men and women *watching porn alone. I believe there will be a very distinct difference if everyone answers the question honestly.

T


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## jennysmith (Jan 23, 2013)

i like it.
infrequently
and it is more funny than sexy to me.


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## TeR (Jun 28, 2012)

I am a "Like it and watch it myself! " voter.

Many years ago, my husband made me feel REALLY dirty about wanting to watch together. I thought that pleasuring him while he watched a particulary steamy scene would be fun...guess not! 

So, I never brought it up again and now tour the _dark & seedy _world of porn alone (when home alone). 

Tony55, and it's OFTEN...


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## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

TeR said:


> I am a "Like it and watch it myself! " voter.
> 
> Many years ago, my husband made me feel REALLY dirty about wanting to watch together. I thought that pleasuring him while he watched a particulary steamy scene would be fun...guess not!
> 
> ...


Out of curiosity, what would you call often? Daily? Weekly? Monthly?

T


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## DangerousCurves (Jul 18, 2012)

I only like certain porn like "Porn for Women"; graphic but still romantic.

But given the choice... I'd choose a good erotica to read.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I have no interest in porn but I can understand why men like it. If a guy I was seeing watched it in moderation then I wouldn't mind. I guess it's just one of those things men are into. Not all men are though. 

My husband wasn't into it. Maybe that was an indication of something being wrong because the man definitely wasn't into sex in general. 

Anything in excess isn't good though and that goes with porn as well. 

I once dated a guy years ago who took me out to a porn flick on our second date. It was our last date too. I found that to be rather insulting. I thought we were just going to a movie. I think I would've liked to have been asked if I was into that sort of thing. 

I'm not. It made me feel cheap to be taken to see a porn flick on a date. It's definitely not my scene.


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## Loyal Lover (Jan 30, 2013)

There should be a 5th option.

"Watch it myself! But if my SO watches it then it's unacceptable" :FIREdevil:

(I'd still vote for option 4 but just saying.)


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## ComicBookLady (Feb 28, 2012)

*NAY! *

But to each their own! I know a lot of people are okay with it


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## mildlyperplexed (Feb 3, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I think marraige should be sexual exclusive and be just between those two people.. Watching porn, getting a roused by and getting off on other people is not sexual exclusivity.
> 
> I also think the majority of porn is terribly degrading to women and from a human rights standpoint I definitely wouldn't use it.
> I worry about the state of the world and the ability of men and women to empathize and care about each other when women are treated so cruelly and degraded and used as cum buckets and its all ok because people got their rocks off.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Most TV appeals to the lowest common denominator too but I still watch a couple of high budget dramas and documentaries. Same goes for porn, I know what I like and its definitely not anything that features a woman with fake tan, fake boobs and fake hair. Mostly it doesn't involve real people at all, manga and literary porn is great.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

honeysuckle rose said:


> I have watched porn in the past & used it when I was younger. Now just see it as pathetic - the garbage kids use to jerk off. Grew out of it.
> 
> Holds no appeal at all. Hubby uses it & if he would do it & leave me alone (sexually) maybe I would have a more favorable view.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why would you want your husband to leave you alone? That's the difference between roommates and a marriage.


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## sickofbeingunhappy (Feb 14, 2013)

I like porn, but my husband refuses to watch it with me. He thinks it's "degrading to women." Sigh. I disagree. Not all porn is degrading.


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## firebelly (May 24, 2012)

I watch it for purposes of getting off alone and I like watching it with a partner. I tend to like woman on woman or group sex...but I'm put off by anything with the word "teen" in it (too close to pedophilia in my mind) and I don't like anything where a woman is hurt in anyway. There's a lot of me rolling my eyes too - just some ridiculous stuff. 

Maybe this is a bad thing, but I actually have a hard time having an orgasm with my partner unless I am replaying the porn I've watched in my head. I've done that for years.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Porn killed my marriage. When we were first married, porn did not bother me, but now, it triggers me. Couldn't accept it in a future relationship without thinking I am eventually going to be replaced by a hand.


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## Omegaa (Nov 17, 2012)

SaltInWound said:


> Porn killed my marriage. When we were first married, porn did not bother me, but now, it triggers me. Couldn't accept it in a future relationship without thinking I am eventually going to be replaced by a hand.


What you are saying makes perfect sense to me.

I was quite naive in the past and porn didn't bother me much. To be frank, I gave my H too much freedom by me being so "progressive and liberal" about his hidden fantasies/porn etc. (How so stupid was I?)

Results? He had LTR/sexual experiments with random women over the past 3 years. After DDay, my attitude is totally different. He does also collect some weird retro photographs of women tied up and helpless, which started to bother me. I no longer appreciate him keeping photographs of women in a compromising position exposing herself etc. Am I over-reacting? (afraid not)

If someone's h is "lusting over" some porn; over certain type of women e.g. slim, fat, blonde, different race etc; he may want to bring his fantasy into the next level if his fantasy/urge is very strong and you may never find out after he had it for real as he will come home to you as if nothing happened. It is known that the majority of sexual "experiments" by h would be unknown to their wife. 

I also had shocks post-DDay that he was keeping his nude photos and this was never pleasant. There are online hook-up sites and it's so easy to have "some casual" fun. You will find that there are so many women who want to give themselves away for one night stands. In this climate, it may be worth watching what your man is looking at e.g. graphic images etc. These may not be so innocent after all.


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## Angus1985 (Feb 14, 2013)

Yay, It's been a long time since my husband and I have watched any porn. But honestly when we used to I would get off really easy having watched it. I have no issues with it.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I don't really fall into one of your four categories...

there are too many extenuating situations.

I could qualify for probably 3 of the answers If I could stipulate each with "but only for....." or "Not if it inculdes....."

you're trying to generalize it too much.


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## Unicornpants (Feb 14, 2013)

I think porn is fine but its like everything else - it needs to be in moderation. I don't mind it occasionally myself


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