# Wife has never spent an evening with me.



## Mattlostatsea (Jan 3, 2013)

Hi all, at my end here. My wife earns a lot of money, I mean a lot of money. I however do not. 

We have a Son together 5 years ago, I believe she got pregnant on purpose.

She has 2 kids from a previous marriage but her ex husband took them off her.

She has never spent an evening with me since our marriage, she simply goes off to bed and makes sure our son is ok and leaves me downstairs.

I get very lonely and depressed, im starting to drink a lot as well as im on my own as shes not around. Its started to become the norm....

She just does not care about me at all, I picked her up from the airport the other day (she was away for the night on business) and I was crying my eyes out as I was upset, but she refused eye contact with me, I sent her a message that night (I was on a company xmas do) and i was saying I was starring at 36 tablets and was going to kill myself but all she said was your children would miss you, to make matters worse she never phoned me the following morning to see if I was ok.

What should I do?????

She has also lied to me about a tax refund, so she boried £10.000.00 of me 4 months ago, this was supposed to be a 3 day loan while her tax was refunded....Its still as she says not been refunded, although I believe shes lying and has had the money.

HELP!!!!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Mattlostatsea said:


> Hi all, at my end here. My wife earns a lot of money, I mean a lot of money. I however do not.
> 
> We have a Son together 5 years ago, I believe she got pregnant on purpose.
> 
> ...


Since you're threatening suicide what you need to do is go see a psychologist pronto or check yourself in to a facility. And then once you have yourself straightened out perhaps you need to see an attorney. I'm glad you came here. And I'm just telling you to stop doing nothing and start taking steps to get you better and then to get control of this situation but first things first because if someone's threatening suicide nobody's going to be turning over the financial reins to them or children. 

You'll feel better once you start working on this stuff with professionals.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

You need therapy and a good divorce solicitor.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Sorry, but I have to ask, are you another female, or are you a male? If you are a male, then I 'm not surprised at all of her treatment towards you because she doesn't see you as a man.

You never did set boundaries to live by. By your own admission you let her step on you like a doormat from the get go. I just can't understand why if she sees you that way, why she got into a relationship with you at all.

It seems that you suffer from some sort of mental illness. Severe depression, perhaps? Please, seek medical help. At the same time you should as a priority seek legal counsel to understand where you legally stand, and what you are legally entitled. This is a must.


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## Exit37 (3 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> Sorry, but I have to ask, are you another female, or are you a male? If you are a male, then I 'm not surprised at all of her treatment towards you because she doesn't see you as a man.
> 
> You never did set boundaries to live by. By your own admission you let her step on you like a doormat from the get go. I just can't understand why if she sees you that way, why she got into a relationship with you at all.
> 
> It seems that you suffer from some sort of mental illness. Severe depression, perhaps? Please, seek medical help. At the same time you should as a priority seek legal counsel to understand where you legally stand, and what you are legally entitled. This is a must.


Agreed. OP, as I read your post my first thought was, "well why not go join her in bed each night?" and then, apparently because you can't walk up to the bedroom with her, you got all needy. And then, you broke down in the car picking her up at the airport? And then you texted her that you were going to kill yourself. 

OP please get help. You need it asap. Your marriage is the least of your problems. Good luck.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Killing your self over someone like her isn’t worth it.

Get a job and make something of yourself.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Your loneliness, drinking, depression…… 
All things you are causing yourself. 

she mAkes lots more money but borrows from you?

you are an adult. Make your life like you want it to be.


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## Rooster Cogburn (10 mo ago)

Matt,

It sounds obvious that she doesn't care. It also sounds obvious that your marriage is a 'net negative' for you instead of a 'net positive.'

So, I recommend...

A.) Get to a support network (family, church, a good solid friend that is male) or a therapist PRONTO. Don't mess around with suicide. That's not how YOUR life is supposed to go and you have a child for the sake of God. 

B.) After you realize that your depression was harming your mental state and have some self worth to lean on... get to the gym and pump some iron. 

C.) If UK divorce laws are somehow like the US... seems like a no-brainer. Divorce and takes some cash with you... you said she makes a lot of money. Well... there you go.

Those are going to be the hardest steps you may ever take in your life... but man... the shoes you are walking in now... you obviously can't continue that.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Mattlostatsea said:


> My wife earns a lot of money......a Son together 5 years ago, I believe she got pregnant on purpose..........She has 2 kids from a previous marriage but her ex husband took them off her.
> 
> ..........She has never spent an evening with me since our marriage, she simply goes off to bed and makes sure our son is ok and leaves me downstairs.
> 
> ...


What should you do.

First ger some help for your thoughts of suicide. Suicide solves nothing, it just makes a big mess to everyone else, especially the small child you have with her.

Next, talk to your wife and tell her what you are thinking and feeling. Tell her that you need her physical and emotional companionship. It sounds like your marriage is in crisis. Tell her you need to get your marriage fixed. If she has lots of money get marriage counseling.

Men that beg for companionship, sex, and emotional support are usually a turn off to wives.

Good luck to you. Work on your self and depression, then work on your marriage.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Mattlostatsea said:


> Hi all, at my end here. My wife earns a lot of money, I mean a lot of money. I however do not.
> 
> We have a Son together 5 years ago, I believe she got pregnant on purpose.
> 
> ...


You should get some professional help and work on yourself in the manliness department as well.

Your wife just isn't worth it as a mate. She seems to have problems of her own.

Your ultimate option might be to divorce and since she makes a lot more, you should come off fine.

In the meantime, start doing the "180" look it up.

Start working on yourself and improving yourself.

Go have activities with your friends and enjoy yourself.

How does this sound?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Sorry mate.

Divorce her ASAP.

Take the kid away from her, as did her 1st husband!
Just, wishful thinking, here.

Seriously, she is checked out of the marriage, and likely has another man.

What does she want to do with the 10K pounds she borrowed off of you?


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Mattlostatsea said:


> Hi all, at my end here. My wife earns a lot of money, I mean a lot of money. I however do not.
> 
> We have a Son together 5 years ago, I believe she got pregnant on purpose.
> 
> ...


It sounds like you are married to a horrible person. Being with her is destroying your life to the point of making you not want your life anymore. Begging and chasing her affection is only going to make you feel worse as It would seem she is a person with the capacity only to love herself. Do not judge your worth based on how she values you, get some therapy, real therapy and learn to value yourself. 

Divorce her and take as much with you when you leave as the laws will allow, you've earned it. Once you truly value yourself you will be in a position to be valued by a woman who wants a husband and life partner.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Since you're pretty much living as though you're not married, why not get some legal advice and divorce? I echo others who suggest counseling, as well. Once you start respecting yourself, you'll attract women who respect you. Right now, your wife doesn't respect you and doesn't sound like she wants to be married. Leaving this relationship would be your best option in my opinion, and I think you'll see that your life will change in positive ways.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Just read OP's 2 other posts. He has 1 post threads that span nearly a decade and all sound like this guy is a loser with a totally broken picker.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

I’m going to be a hard a s s head and start off that if you’re making idle threats to solicit a reaction, it’s a super D move. Now if you’re so desperate you’re serious then get help. That’s on you that part, not your wife. 

Now, it does sound cruel that you’re left by yourself each night, on the flip side of that, I lived that way night after night for years with my former husband because all he cared about was drinking. So I’d leave him to it. 

You gotta buck up sir, for your own sake, regardless of your wife.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Don't take your own life. call a hotline. Call a friend. Get into therapy but she's right. Killing yourself will destroy your child. 

How did you let this go on for 5 years? 

Crying your eyes out & her not even making eye contact is a huge issue. Something has to be going on here. 

Have you asked her to watch TV with you, talk or even play a board game? Have you told her you would like to spend time with her? Have you tried going up with her & watching TV in bed together? 

What hobbies do you have? What makes you happy? Do some of that to help fill your life.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

He has posted a few times. Each of them dealing with the same thing basically. There is no help until he decides to change himself.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Mattlostatsea said:


> Hi all, at my end here. My wife earns a lot of money, I mean a lot of money. I however do not.
> 
> We have a Son together 5 years ago, I believe she got pregnant on purpose.
> 
> ...


Get professional help! Now!


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

ABHale said:


> He has posted a few times. Each of them dealing with the same thing basically. There is no help until he decides to change himself.


And each post is a one time post. So, I wonder why he's posting at all? 
Obviously he's not coming back to reply or give more input. We will have to wait a few more years for him to make another one post, and run.


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