# I want to leave my fiance because he has a small penis



## katiegb (May 16, 2014)

I have a dilemma and I hope someone can help me. I've been engaged to my boyfriend for 3 years now. Before we got engaged, I had 3 other boyfriends who were very good in bed. Sex was not something that is high on my priority list for a man but it is something that I think is important. My fiance wanted to wait until he was married to have sex. This bothered me because I love sex a lot. It was hard at first but I decided to try to stick with it since I really love him.

We have gotten physical in the past but it never went further than kissing. Yesterday, we were making out and I was horny as hell. I grabbed his crotch and realized that although he was hard, his penis was very very small. I'm talking maybe 2-3 inches. It really turned me off and he knew it. We ended up talking about it and he told me that he was ashamed of his size. I told him not to worry about it even though this has been bothering me a lot. 

I've been thinking about this today and I feel like he tried to trick me by marrying me and making me find out later that his **** was small. He is an amazing man but his **** is just too small for me. He even admitted that it's barely 3 inches when fully erect. Now I'm wondering if it's worth spending my life with a small man or should I leave him since it's obvious that he tried to fool me into marrying him.


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## kilgore (Dec 14, 2012)

katiegb said:


> I have a dilemma and I hope someone can help me. I've been engaged to my boyfriend for 3 years now. Before we got engaged, I had 3 other boyfriends who were very good in bed. Sex was not something that is high on my priority list for a man but it is something that I think is important. My fiance wanted to wait until he was married to have sex. This bothered me because I love sex a lot. It was hard at first but I decided to try to stick with it since I really love him.
> 
> We have gotten physical in the past but it never went further than kissing. Yesterday, we were making out and I was horny as hell. I grabbed his crotch and realized that although he was hard, his penis was very very small. I'm talking maybe 2-3 inches. It really turned me off and he knew it. We ended up talking about it and he told me that he was ashamed of his size. I told him not to worry about it even though this has been bothering me a lot.
> 
> I've been thinking about this today and I feel like he tried to trick me by marrying me and making me find out later that his **** was small. He is an amazing man but his **** is just too small for me. He even admitted that it's barely 3 inches when fully erect. Now I'm wondering if it's worth spending my life with a small man or should I leave him since it's obvious that he tried to fool me into marrying him.


it doesn't seem right to assume he was "fooling" you. If he is so amazing, then why should this one thing become more important than everything else? don't be shortsighted.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

How come it has taken you so long to discover this?

You haven't pressed against him before or seen him in bathing suit?:scratchhead:


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## katiegb (May 16, 2014)

LongWalk said:


> How come it has taken you so long to discover this?
> 
> You haven't pressed against him before or seen him in bathing suit?:scratchhead:


I tried my best to ignore it since I know he wanted to wait for marriage until we had sex. It wasn't until I started to pay more attention that I realized that something wasn't right.


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## WellyVamp (Apr 26, 2013)

katiegb said:


> I tried my best to ignore it since I know he wanted to wait for marriage until we had sex. It wasn't until I started to pay more attention that I realized that something wasn't right.


That's obviously why he wanted to wait until marriage before you have sex. He was hoping to trap you first, so you're stuck with him and his tiny penis! Very sneaky. 

I couldn't go through with it if I were you. I pulled a bloke who was like that (many years ago). It was such a shock that I almost blurted out "OMG, it's sooo small", but managed to stop myself just in time. I made my excuses and left. 

If it really is a turn off for you and you think it is too small, things aren't going to get any better once you are married. It will just be more complicated to up and leave. 

This is just my opinion, but I don't think people should go ahead with marriage unless they are 100% sure about it. 

I do sympathise with you. I would feel exactly the same.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Well, there are other ways to handle this.. like him giving you oral, dildos .. and so forth


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

While I think that a couple who really want to be together could make it work sexually pretty well, if you are no 100% sure don't marry him.


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## khaleesiwife (May 9, 2014)

Well, you dodged a bullet Girl! Some people on here are going to berate your honesty due to their own notions about marriage. But in my opinion, with you already knowing that this is going to be a problem for you, I would not commit my Life to a man that I felt was in any way inadequate regarding something this important. Sex is the glue that holds marriage together and if you already know that this is a problem before you commit yourself for Life, then you should get out now. Once you make that oath to God, ALL bets are off! It is not shallow to want what you want! You can't tell me that he didn't know what he was hiding and I, for one, would be very angry! Marriage is an institution that you enter only when you have all or the information and are satisfied with the results. He can't be upset if he feels you wasted his time because he intentionally wasted yours.. With that being said, Girl he knew he wasn't packing in the pants so do NOT feel bad! Now there are a LOT of things you could do to make this work, believe me. But you have to be willing to make it work and he has to be willing to allow you the freedom to find out what WILL work, IF it can work, and the only way to do that is to practice BEFORE you walk down that isle so that you know that when you say I Do, you actually WILL. Good luck Lady and have a great Life!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

You can't help how you feel, things might have been different if he was matter of fact about it 3 years ago and told you that you'll still have a great time anyway.

3 years is a long time to hide it, not forgetting to mention if he thought you were worth marrying he should have told you very early in your relationship. If he can't be honest about something like that you which you will inevitably find out about, he's going to end up having other problems driven by his own anxiety and insecurity.

At least you found out before saying "I do"! Move on, good luck and consider trying before you buy.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Has he ever sought medical help for this malady? There's just a plethora of things that a good urologist could do for him to help alleviate this problem, provided of course, that he's man enough to admit it and to seek that help!*


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

when i first read this, I was thinking "oh get over it"

but as I think about this, I'm buying what your selling OP. 2 things that stick out to me as "hind sight"

-The feeling of buying a bill of goods. similar but different, my wife was very sexual with me, then right around the wedding she froze up. I hate that level of dishonesty, and had I known she'd freeze up, I would not have married her.
-Getting out before wasted time. Again, getting out prior to marriage is one thing. Getting out after 2 kids and a mortgage is another. be honest with yourself. If you must get out, now is the time.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

if its a turn off to you sexually then you will not be happy married to him.

you could try to take it for a test drive first....you might be surprised. a talented tongue and good fingers and hands could be all you need. but make sure you use protection.

in the end if you aren't turned on by him and his size I don't think your marriage will last. 

you sound very sexual and this might be a huge problem......pun intended.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

The guy probably grew up with his mother telling him "size doesn't matter". But she followed that with "no sex until marriage".
I'm in the dark as to how two people can spend three years "together" without this issue being discovered.
One thing is fact. There's NOTHING he can do to change it.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

hookares said:


> *One thing is fact. There's NOTHING he can do to change it.*


*Au contraire! There is, indeed, something that he can do! But it's probably going to be rather time-consuming, involve help from the medical field, and be rather expensive!

But I couldn't agree more that if there was ever a time to leave this relationship behind, that now would be that time!*


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## sparc101 (Oct 21, 2013)

It sounds like you like him for many reasons and certainly not for sex (since this has been withheld to date). 

I am unclear though, have you actually seen his erect member? And what if you were to try having actual sex? See how the complete package works... If I were him, that is what I would want to do.

But maybe.. he is trying to hide it... crazy as it sounds...


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

hookares said:


> The guy probably grew up with his mother telling him "size doesn't matter". But she followed that with "no sex until marriage".
> I'm in the dark as to how two people can spend three years "together" without this issue being discovered.
> One thing is fact. There's NOTHING he can do to change it.


this is super true. unfortunately.

Breasts can be enlarged. legs can be lipo-d. hair can be dyed. Pen15s cant be increased (yet)... poor dude.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Sex was not high on your priority list....then you say you love sex a lot. Maybe get your priorities straight.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

If it was something he is self conscious about then it should have been something he talked to you about earlier in the relationship.That's what the whole "getting to know you" time before marriage is all about.Telling each other your insecurities,fears,etc. Seems to me he was deliberately trying to hide this til it was too late for you to leave.Now I don't think his intent was malicious. I think he probably loves you a lot and wants to hang onto you.

I say go with the test run.Start getting sexual now and try to see if you can be happy with what he has to offer in the bedroom aside from his unfortunate penis size. PIV isn't always the end all be all although it is really nice to feel your man.It doesn't have to be a relationship killer. 

Hey,at least you know it's highly unlikely that other women will ever get to see his penis bc he's gonna guard that little dong like a national security secret. 

He could always have the best fingers and tongue you've ever had in your life...you never know til you give him a chance. He deserves at least that much.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

This is something that you need to address thoroughly before marrying your BF. A satisfying sex life certainly isn't impossible with a man with a very small penis, but it is going to require a lot of openness, good communication, practise and ingenuity.

Sex mightn't be THE most important part of a relationship, but without it very few relationships can survive. Be very kind in how you approach this, OP, but make sure that you're not opening the door to a sexless marriage with him.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

Katie-

I tried so hard for so long to convince myself mutually satisfying sex wasn't important and friendship, companionship, love would conquar everything else. I have always heard that it's the friendship that matters most in a marriage. Maybe if I was 70... 



You had good sex in the past. There is a chance he may be good at oral and compensate for his shortcomings. That is a huge risk. 


Once the marriage, house, and children come along, it makes it much harder to end. Its a good thing you know up front before marriage.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

My initial reaction to the OP was 'How shallow can you get?'

If you love someone you love them for the good, the bad and the ugly - the whole package, including the small willy.

However I can also understand the OP's predicament. Whilst sex isnt everything in marriage it IS a major part and if each time they have sex as a married couple she feels let down etc then yes its far better she gets out now than go through with it...have children but feeling ever more resentful etc.....which will probably lead to divorce anyway.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

askari said:


> My initial reaction to the OP was 'How shallow can you get?'


I won't touch that with a 3 inch pole.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

He must feel pretty awful right now about you and his own body.

In today's sexual climate these men are constantly ridiculed. And it seems acceptable to do so.

You'd have great fun giving him oral. Anal would be much easier on you (if you like that). He could be passionate and attentive in any number of ways.

It doesn't sound like you love him. Maybe it's best to let him go to a woman who will.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I thought of another positive! Think of how incredibly easy anal sex will be for you guys if you're into that! win!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

askari said:


> My initial reaction to the OP was 'How shallow can you get?'
> 
> If you love someone you love them for the good, the bad and the ugly - the whole package, including the small willy.
> 
> However I can also understand the OP's predicament. Whilst sex isnt everything in marriage it IS a major part and if each time they have sex as a married couple she feels let down etc then yes its far better she gets out now than go through with it...have children but feeling ever more resentful etc.....which will probably lead to divorce anyway.


:iagree:

It's rather like telling a man that it's possible that he may have to reconcile to never having penetrative sex again - relying on hand stimulation and oral alone... 

For many women, myself included, penetrative sex is very important.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Well, if this is important to you, then it's a deal breaker. Yes, it's difficult to make this choice when otherwise he's great, but over the long term, I doubt that you'd be happy. I don't think oral or even stap-ons would suffice, but that could work for some people. Even if most women don't orgasm from PiV sex, they still want the feeling of a normal penis and intercourse.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

kilgore said:


> it doesn't seem right to assume he was "fooling" you. If he is so amazing, then why should this one thing become more important than everything else? don't be shortsighted.


Supposedly, we only get one shot at marriage. With that in mind, why settle for someone? Sex is important to her, and if this guy doesn't satisfy her, then she's liable to have a marriage where her resentment will build and she'll either divorce him or cheat.


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

I don't think he's at all being deceitful and I find it funny that there is an expectation that he would 'disclose' this. They've already fooled around so it's out in the open.

It's really simple. As others have said, if you can't be happy with it then you need to move on. Everyone has their faults and choosing a mate is at least partly about understanding what you can live with and what's a deal breaker. Don't worry if people think you are shallow, mean, etc. You're the one that is making a serious commitment.

I understand how serious this is. My wife (prior to marriage) once had a ONS with a micro-penised guy and was horrified when she discovered this 'issue'. She panicked a little and didn't know what to do and was slow to react. He started having sex with her but she made up the excuse of having a boyfriend and got the hell out of there. She said it was just a real turn off and was something she couldn't get over and since she was not getting any enjoyment out of it at all, she didn't want to continue to let him have sex with her. Related to this thread though, she was not upset that he did not disclose it to her prior to getting intimate. Interestingly, he did make a lot of effort on oral work prior to the sex but this was not sufficient to overcome his size issue.

Like many on this thread, I wondered about this and thought it sounded really shallow and somewhat mean. However, it's her body and she can't help what turns her on or off.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Don't get married.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

kilgore said:


> it doesn't seem right to assume he was "fooling" you. If he is so amazing, then why should this one thing become more important than everything else? *don't be shortsighted*.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm curious... What reason did he give for wanting to wait till you got married before having sex?

In any case, I'd say you need to move on. If I had reason to believe, prior to getting married, that our sex life was not going to cut the mustard for me, there's no way I'd go through with it. I don't care what the reason. Someone's going to cheat, resentments will fester, there's very little reason to think things will just magically work out like a Disney movie. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Wow ...


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