# If you set a date with someone and they postpone twice, do you..........



## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

just say forget it and move on to someone else?

I have this feeling that this girl I am scheduled to see on Friday is going to come up with some kind of excuse to reschedule the date again. Originally it was scheduled for Thursday but she said she had a friend coming to town and asked could we meet tonight or Friday


I just have this feeling I am going to get a text from her on friday morning. And that's because she is very attractive in a city full of thirsty men online and in public. So it might be a competition thing.

I am thinking now I should have chosen wednesday


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

If she cancels again I would move on. There are lots of potential mates out there. Try not to get to focused on just one, especially in the beginning.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

lancaster said:


> If she cancels again I would move on. There are lots of potential mates out there. Try not to get to focused on just one, especially in the beginning.


Well it was a reschedule not a cancel but I just don't like the feeling of being shuffled around lol


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

Reschedule, cancel. Call it what you will. Buddy I would move on if she reschedules again.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

lancaster said:


> Reschedule, cancel. Call it what you will. Buddy I would move on if she reschedules again.


Either that or tell her if she wants to see me she can come to my place LOL


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## fat_moe (Jul 29, 2015)

If the woman thought you were a priority, she would make time.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

fat_moe said:


> If the woman thought you were a priority, she would make time.


This! Move on.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

I think whoever cancels or can't make a proposed time/day should initiate next contact and propose new time. 

If not move on. 

You never know. I've had dates cancel, I leave it at that, and then they reach out weeks later.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

Why on earth are you sabotaging yourself again? She hasn't rescheduled twice. Just once and gave you a good reason. After your first date she texted you 3 times. She's interested. Stop thinking so negatively. 
You're going to go into this second date already convinced its not going to work.....and guess what? It won't. Self-fulfilling prophecy.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Oh, for pity's sake! This woman has *not* cancelled on him. She hasn't even postponed twice. 

She realized there was a conflict with her schedule and their date on Thursday. So, she asked to re-schedule for either Wednesday or Friday. The OP chose Friday. It's not Friday yet. He's already getting all bowed up about what he's going to do if she does postpone again. He's borrowing trouble and getting all sideways about something that - and this is the important bit: Has. Not. Happened.

OP, I highly recommend you chill out. As, I do believe, has been suggested to you on more than one occasion on prior threads. If she postpones again, _then_ you can decide how you want to handle it. But getting all pissy about the possibility that she _might_ postpone, just paints you as high strung and irrational.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Is this the same woman that texted while he was hiding his phone in the closet?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

zillard said:


> Is this the same woman that texted while he was hiding his phone in the closet?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes!!!


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

SARAHMCD said:


> Yes!!!


Oh boy...

What should I do if she sneezes. How gross! First a cane, now a SNEEZER!?

What does it mean if she takes too long in the bathroom? Is she avoiding me?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Quit thinking so much. 
Just have fun, dude!


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

Make sure you are 110% correct that she is ****ing you around. Do not mess up a potentially good thing just because you jumped the gun.

If you are sure, then give her another chance to mend her ways. Do not let her disrespect you or she will do that forever and treat you like a doormat. Just go dark on her and go date other people. Don't send her nasty texts or emails, that will just give "proof" to herself that you aren't a good guy. Let her stew in regret. All this, of course, once you are sure.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

SMG15 said:


> Either that or tell her if she wants to see me she can come to my place LOL


You are super creepy.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

If you can't figure out the etiquette involved in fairly simplistic dating protocol...how are you going to manage the intricacies of an actual relationship?

(And yes, I know the mathematical chances of that happening are looking more and more slim)


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

lancaster said:


> Reschedule, cancel. Call it what you will. Buddy I would move on if she reschedules again.


That is the plan


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

SARAHMCD said:


> Why on earth are you sabotaging yourself again? She hasn't rescheduled twice. Just once and gave you a good reason. After your first date she texted you 3 times. She's interested. Stop thinking so negatively.
> You're going to go into this second date already convinced its not going to work.....and guess what? It won't. Self-fulfilling prophecy.


Because of the reasons below

1. She is very attractive 

2. This is a city full of thirsty men

3. The dating website we met on is full of thirsty men


So I would say the chances of her rescheduling again is over 50% but as of now we are still on for tomorrow


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

The fact that she is supplying alternative dates shows she is still interested in seeing you. Try to not to assume the worse and take a deep breath. People have busy lives and that isn't rejecting someone...opening your life to a new relationship requires a lot of priority shifting.

If, however, if she keeps rescheduling...I wouldn't cut her off, but perhaps place the ball in her court by leaving her to initiate any proposed dates.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

zillard said:


> Oh boy...
> 
> What should I do if she sneezes. How gross! First a cane, now a SNEEZER!?
> 
> ...



She better not show up with a cane. Especially since my mom is close to 65 and walks without a cane


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> You are super creepy.


super creepy?

Do you expect me to take her seriously if she was to send another text asking can we reschedule again?


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

FormerSelf said:


> The fact that she is supplying alternative dates shows she is still interested in seeing you. Try to not to assume the worse and take a deep breath. People have busy lives and that isn't rejecting someone...opening your life to a new relationship requires a lot of priority shifting.
> 
> If, however, if she keeps rescheduling...I wouldn't cut her off, but perhaps place the ball in her court by leaving her to initiate any proposed dates.


Well she did move up our date to wednesday but I couldn't do it because of my job. It wasn't like she said friday or sunday


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> She better not show up with a cane. Especially since my mom is close to 65 and walks without a cane


Grow up. Seriously.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I am, once again, leaning toward believing SMG is a kid, pretending to be an adult. There is no way someone who has, supposedly, been dating 10 years or so, is THIS clueless. Seriously, kid, grow up


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## life_huppens (Jun 3, 2015)

Similar thing happened to me years ago when I was in dating game. I just dropped her and moved on. Why be a plan B.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Maricha75 said:


> Grow up. Seriously.



Excuse me???????


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

life_huppens said:


> Similar thing happened to me years ago when I was in dating game. I just dropped her and moved on. Why be a plan B.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree, I refuse to be anyone's plan B which is why if that was to happen I would only agree to see her at my apt


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> Excuse me???????


You keep making comments in your threads about the whole "old" thing with a woman using a cane. Your comments about it are childish, to say the least. As was stated in your other disastrous threads, using a cane has NOTHING to do with age. So, grow up.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Maricha75 said:


> You keep making comments in your threads about the whole "old" thing with a woman using a cane. Your comments about it are childish, to say the least. As was stated in your other disastrous threads, using a cane has NOTHING to do with age. So, grow up.


So you want me as a young guy to walk around on a friday night in the summer time with a woman using a CANE???????

Are you kiddin me?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> I agree, I refuse to be anyone's plan B which is why if that was to happen I would only agree to see her at my apt


And that is why someone else said you are creepy. And that would come across as creepy, and super desperate. But, if you want to scare her off, knock yourself out.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> So you want me as a young guy to walk around on a friday night in the summer time with a woman using a CANE???????
> 
> Are you kiddin me?


My husband, who is your age, would. He walks with me when we go anywhere. So, yes, if she is willing, I would say yes. But, she dodged that bullet, thank goodness.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Maricha75 said:


> And that is why someone else said you are creepy. And that would come across as creepy, and super desperate. But, if you want to scare her off, knock yourself out.


It wouldn't come off as desperate because she would have the option to say YES or NO. I would just be letting her know in a indirect way she is no longer dating material in my eyes


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Maricha75 said:


> My husband, who is your age, would. He walks with me when we go anywhere. So, yes, if she is willing, I would say yes. But, she dodged that bullet, thank goodness.


I;m not ready to do that yet and mainly because I am already having a hard time getting older. I need to be around someone who is going to make me feel like it's 1999


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> It wouldn't come off as desperate because she would have the option to say YES or NO. I would just be letting her know in a indirect way she is no longer dating material in my eyes


Fine, then. Not desperate. Just creepy.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> I;m not ready to do that yet and mainly because I am already having a hard time getting older. I need to be around someone who is going to make me feel like it's 1999


If you would stop looking at a cane as ONLY for "old people" you might have my sympathy. Instead, it makes you look like a jerk.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Maricha75 said:


> Fine, then. Not desperate. Just creepy.


What is creepy about man and woman chilling and watching DVD's, with some delicious Seafood and sharing a few laughs?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> What is creepy about man and woman chilling and watching DVD's, with some delicious Seafood and sharing a few laughs?


When you JUST met for the first time last week? Oh, absolutely nothing creepy about a guy, who has no clue about dating, inviting a woman back to his place for the second date. Add in what you said regarding just getting a $1000 bed... nope. Not creepy, or desperate at all.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Maricha75 said:


> When you JUST met for the first time last week? Oh, absolutely nothing creepy about a guy, who has no clue about dating, inviting a woman back to his place for the second date. Add in what you said regarding just getting a $1000 bed... nope. Not creepy, or desperate at all.



I am not ashamed to be desperate because I am human. When humans go a long period of time without affection from the opposite sex then they will become a little desperate

it's called LIIFE


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> I am not ashamed to be desperate because I am human. When humans go a long period of time without affection from the opposite sex then they will become a little desperate
> 
> it's called LIIFE


Affection is one thing. Sex is another. Affection can be done anywhere. Sex, you're likely to get arrested if in public. So, yea. Second date? Back to your place? Definitely desperate. And she won't think it is just for affection.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Maricha75 said:


> Affection is one thing. Sex is another. Affection can be done anywhere. Sex, you're likely to get arrested if in public. So, yea. Second date? Back to your place? Definitely desperate. And she won't think it is just for affection.


First of all I am too shy to ask a woman to come back to my place after a second date. lol


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

SMG15 said:


> What is creepy about man and woman chilling and watching DVD's, with some delicious Seafood and sharing a few laughs?


Seriously. Nothing creepy about having someone you deem not dating material relegated to only being good enough to come over to your house. Not creepy at all.

God help women who come in contact with you.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

If (IF!) this is a real thread from a real person with a real problem - which it sadly could be - then here you go:

- She's either a super busy person looking to date, but life keeps getting in the way

or

- Something (or someone) more promising came up, and she's keeping you in her back pocket in case they don't work out

or

- She's already s*** testing you and WANTS you to be at her beck and call, on her schedule, and rather likes knowing that somebody out there will say "how high?" when she says "jump!"

or

- She's dating online just for kicks, to see what's out there, and she's not taking it nearly as seriously as you are.

or

- She's really nervous about meeting you and wanted an extra day to psyche herself up


But honestly, somebody from "out of town" just shows up like that? Usually people don't just show up from out of town - at least not people that are important enough to cancel plans for. Those people usually call ahead and make plans and let you know they're in town in the first place.

This thread should be closed, imo. It's approaching dangerous territory and the question has already been answered. There's not a whole of discussion to be had on a question like that, anyway.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

While I was dating my husband, I had to cancel on him twice in one week. My dad had been diagnosed with Cancer shortly before I met hubby, and mum broke her hip the day after dad's diagnosis. She wasn't able to drive for a few months. I was needed to pick dad up from his dialysis one night, the second I was just simply exhausted - I remember I was crying when I rang my then bf...just from exhaustion.

Lucky for me, he didn't bail on me or think he wasn't a priority. He was - so was my darling dad who never left my side as a child. I was not going to leave his when he needed me the most. Dad needed me more at that point in time. He has since passed away and I miss him every day.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

@alexm the problem here is that SMG asked her to let him know she made it home safely. She did. But he turned off notifications, turned off his phone, and sent her messages to spam, so he could check TWO DAYS LATER! Who is shyt testing whom, here?? And then, he called her the day he checked, left a voicemail. She contacted him the next day or the day after. They set up Thursday, but she called back and asked if they could reschedule to either Wednesday or Friday. YES, people come into town, unexpectedly. And it wasn't like it was last minute, either. She gave him a few days' notice, which tells me the friend said "hey, I will be in town, but only on this day." If I was just starting to date someone, like only first or second date, I absolutely would reschedule the date to catch up with an old friend. The whole problem here isn't this woman. It's SMG and his defeatist attitude... and troll-like behavior. Note, I am not calling him a troll, but he acts like one. These are the EXACT SAME types of questions he asked on LoveShack months ago. So, that tells me he knows exactly what he is doing... and he likely IS a kid. He sure acts like one! I will say it again: there is no way someone who has been dating for 10 years is this clueless about how it works. No. Way.


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

So SMG is the date still on for tonight? What's the plan?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> First of all I am too shy to ask a woman to come back to my place after a second date. lol


Good thing. I would question the sanity of a woman who took you up on it, if you decided to after all.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Why am I experiencing deja-vu?


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

So how long is this going to continue?


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

He's going out on 2nd date tonight. The one she didn't actually cancel...so this whole thread was a waste of time. I'm sure he'll start a new one complaining or stressing out about whatever happens or doesn't happen tonight.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SARAHMCD said:


> He's going out on 2nd date tonight. The one she didn't actually cancel...so this whole thread was a waste of time. I'm sure he'll start a new one complaining or stressing out about whatever happens or doesn't happen tonight.


See, what should be done is consolidate them all into one thread... and title it "SMG15'S Adventures in the Dating World"... actually, that could be a book. Smh as long as he doesn't come up with a "Plan", all will be well.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

He'll b!tch she didn't text or call him. After he turns off his phone.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

@alexm -- my best friend usually gives me a day's notice when she's coming to town. Maybe two, if I'm lucky. Part of it is her personality, part of it is that her and her husband's schedule/life can be chaotic--he'll get called into town at the last minute for work stuff, and if she can, she'll come along with the hope that she and I can get together.

And she IS important enough that I will cancel/reschedule whatever is on my calendar so I can see her, and I have done so. She would do the same for me. If I had an emergency, she would drop everything and get the first flight to come to my aid, and it goes both ways. There aren't too many people in this world who I would take a bullet for. She's on the short list.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Well I just arrived home from my date, she never cancelled. We had a nice time just like the first date and I see a 3rd date happening

And I didn't put her on the spam list tonight and responded 5 mins later when she text me once she arrived home


BTW: She didn't show up with a cane just a "broken thumb" lol

she had some kind of accident.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

3rd date is probably going be dinner and "Public Movie Night" at the waterfront


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