# Why does my wife post so many pics



## West (Jul 4, 2017)

My wife is posting some photos of herself on instagram and snap chat that have her showing off her sexy side. My wife is an attractive woman and for the past year now she feels this need to post pics and see how many "likes" she can get. I compliment her every moment I'm with her, I go above and beyond to make her day better and yet she seeks "likes" from others. I don't understand. She will spend her whole day while I'm at work taking the perfect picture. We have 2 young children whom get no attention due to this. My wife is 25 and we've been married since she was 20. I'm almost 30 so maybe it's an age thing? She's recently stated that she regrets her decision on having kids and getting married. When I inform her of how uncomfortable it makes me feel to have these photos posted, she claims that I'm being controlling. I don't get it. Am I just to conservative this day in age? I just hate the attention she gets from random people, and the fact that she doesn't think about my feelings has me wondering if she wants out of our life together. Has anyone had similar experiences? 

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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Unfortunately these are not good things, I'm afraid. It sounds like your wife may have gotten married before she was emotionally mature enough to handle it. She may have had an idealistic thought of marriage but not a realistic picture of it. Same goes with the kids. I am not sure how to help this though. I do know that you should start stealing yourself for some trouble ahead. Maybe try to get marriage counseling. Right now she is showing all the signs of someone having a crisis. Make sure you don't put all your happiness eggs in her basket. 

Others may be along with how to combat this in her.


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## TheRealMcCoy (Apr 13, 2017)

How often does she get to go out without you? You know, just her and the girl friends?


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## West (Jul 4, 2017)

A few times a month at least. She goes to yoga a couple times a week with a friend sometimes

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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How many hours a week do you and your wife spend together, just the two of you alone doing date-like things?


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## KevinZX (Jul 1, 2017)

Inside every person is a character flaw that the new social media wave can massage and change the way some individuals react to praise from strangers online, .this can be become addictive if just the right amount of dissatisfaction in their own lives is replaced by this adoration from the viewers online, this a problem worldwide, so their should be plenty advice on how to handle this. My wife although aged nearly 50 has secretly posted several pics of herself on certain websites and became obsessed by the comments left for her. She now has left the family home to live with a younger guy who blew smoke up her arse at work, ego-maniac that she is let this to accept this as a sign of love but we all know it is only fantasy fiction and will die down in time, beware of this behavior as it will be devastating to your marriage if not controlled somehow.
Love and peace 
KevinZX


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

KevinZX said:


> Inside every person is a character flaw that the new social media wave can massage and change the way some individuals react to praise from strangers online, .this can be become addictive if just the right amount of dissatisfaction in their own lives is replaced by this adoration from the viewers online, this a problem worldwide, so their should be plenty advice on how to handle this. My wife although aged nearly 50 has secretly posted several pics of herself on certain websites and became obsessed by the comments left for her. She now has left the family home to live with a younger guy who blew smoke up her arse at work, ego-maniac that she is let this to accept this as a sign of love but we all know it is only fantasy fiction and will die down in time, beware of this behavior as it will be devastating to your marriage if not controlled somehow.
> Love and peace
> KevinZX


How can you control it? You couldn't control your wife even if she wanted to. She is in for a hard lesson. I am sorry for you though. Loyalty is a quality that is so missing from today's world. There are better more serious women out there though. 

OP I would talk to her about it. At least get it in the open. Don't pretty it up either. "Why do you need all these people liking your pictures? What is this providing for your? Where does it stop? Are you prepared to destroy your marriage and family?" Because that is where it is heading at it's apex.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I have read that the use of selfies has gotten to a point that it's causing some people to develop narcissistic traits.


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## Warrior73 (Jun 25, 2017)

West said:


> My wife is posting some photos of herself on instagram and snap chat that have her showing off her sexy side. My wife is an attractive woman and for the past year now she feels this need to post pics and see how many "likes" she can get. I compliment her every moment I'm with her, I go above and beyond to make her day better and yet she seeks "likes" from others. I don't understand. She will spend her whole day while I'm at work taking the perfect picture. We have 2 young children whom get no attention due to this. My wife is 25 and we've been married since she was 20. I'm almost 30 so maybe it's an age thing? She's recently stated that she regrets her decision on having kids and getting married. When I inform her of how uncomfortable it makes me feel to have these photos posted, she claims that I'm being controlling. I don't get it. Am I just to conservative this day in age? I just hate the attention she gets from random people, and the fact that she doesn't think about my feelings has me wondering if she wants out of our life together. Has anyone had similar experiences?
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


"We have 2 young children whom get no attention due to this."
This is really concerning. Not sure if you mean that she is not taking proper care of the kids or if she isn't spending time with them but makes sure they are clothed, fed, etc. If it is the first one, you need to take action before something happens to them.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

She sounds like a very immature 25-year old, and I feel so sorry for those poor children who will end up feeling very rejected and damaged. I had 2 children at that age having been married since 19, and they had all my attention. 
Maybe some good marriage counseling will help her to see the damage she is causing?


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## West (Jul 4, 2017)

The children are fed, clothed and overall taken care of. There just no real bond between them. I've tried confronting her before but it gets nowhere. We spend a fair amount of time together and we do have fun when out. It's just that damn phone can't be put down. 

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## West (Jul 4, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> How many hours a week do you and your wife spend together, just the two of you alone doing date-like things?


Not often, babysitters can be hard to come by and we tend to work opposite schedules to accommodate to this. We try as much as we can.

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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

She is creating a fantasy life where she is popular and adored because she needs the attention. She is heading down a dangerous road, cyber "likes" will never be enough, she will want hands on attention. 

She has already told you she regrets getting married and having kids, what that says is she has become resentful of you and the kids, she looks at her life as "limited options" instead of taking joy from being a mother and a good partner. 

All ingredients for an affair. I say start doing a bit of investigating, the cyber attention has probably gone further than you think. Also make sure you protect your self financially, start keeping a log of her activities, especially times you feel she isn't 100% focused on the kids, put a tracker in her car to check her whereabouts. Her comments and actions lead me to think you could end up being a single father, be prepared.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It definitely sounds like she has a problem, and neglecting the kids is a big red flag. She's on the path to cheating (if she hasn't already), and leaving. She wants the attention and praise of strangers - in part, is that because you are not providing any, or too little? Even if you are providing it, her need for this is at unhealthy levels.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
Your fundamental problem is that you have 3 young children.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

West said:


> The children are fed, clothed and overall taken care of. There just no real bond between them. I've tried confronting her before but it gets nowhere. We spend a fair amount of time together and we do have fun when out. It's just that damn phone can't be put down.


Lucky you. You married a Millennial. They make my brain bleed. I don't know of a magic cure for this type of special snowflake affliction, however. Maybe she'll finally grow up when she's 35 or so.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

West said:


> *She's recently stated that she regrets her decision on having kids and getting married.* When I inform her of how uncomfortable it makes me feel to have these photos posted, she claims that I'm being controlling.


She is fishing.....

Shie is fishing with a bare hook.

She is fishing with a bare hook and dangling it and shaking it in front of the sharks.

She is fishing with a bare hook.....she wants to catch a worm. A new, long, thick nightcrawler.

She regrets being married. She regrets being married.

She is ready to hightail it. Her tail is up.

Tail up exposing her privates....ready for action.

Sorry. You need to reel her hook back in. Gently, firmly. Hold her tight. Tell her she has everything she needs in your pond.

Time for some creative lovemaking, acting out fantasies. Just the two of you....no others.

Just Sayin'


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

this won't end well.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

West said:


> The children are fed, clothed and overall taken care of. There just no real bond between them. I've tried confronting her before but it gets nowhere. We spend a fair amount of time together and we do have fun when out. It's just that damn phone can't be put down.
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


Small children have a lot of emotional needs that just feeding and clothing will not meet.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

If you think the stuff she posts publicly (or even semi-publicly) is racy, you should see the stuff she's sending _privately_.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

NoChoice said:


> OP,
> Your fundamental problem is that you have 3 young children.


Exactly.

She's 25 with 3 young children? I'm not at all excusing her behavior in neglecting the kids or in posting selfies but it's very clear that she is searching for something that will lead to heartache for everyone. Having 3 little ones is a draining experience even if you're actually ready for them and few women at that age are ready for them. She sees her life passing her by and this obsession with creating a fantasy world in which she is a star with adoring fans is nothing but smoke and mirrors and not creating the exciting life she wishes she had. Mothering 3 little ones is the antithesis of glamor!

Your wife needs a reality check and perhaps a painful one. Yes it's draining being so young with 3 little ones, and feeling like she's missing out of life. But it would be more draining to try to make that life happen as a single mother with 3 little ones.

She needs boundaries and consequences. No more seeking adulation as if you are some worthless reality celebrity if you wish to remain married.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

It's 2 children I believe.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

sokillme said:


> It's 2 children I believe.


Right: Two chronological children + her acting as a child.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

tech-novelist said:


> Right: Two chronological children + her acting as a child.


Duh, I get it now. You're right 3 children.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Maybe she needs a job?

If she has time to ignore the kids and take selfies most of the time, why not suggest she do something where selfies are for days off only. The kids would probably love daycare, at least they would have some interaction with others. 

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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> Maybe she needs a job?
> 
> If she has time to ignore the kids and take selfies most of the time, why not suggest she do something where selfies are for days off only. The kids would probably love daycare, at least they would have some interaction with others.
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


The job idea is a good one until it isn't. It is worth a try.
All her earned money will go to childcare..for sure!

If she does go to work, she will no longer need to send pictures.
Her "target" male audience will be at arms length. This is a big risk, but one worth considering.

During the day [at work] she will have the adult conversation and interaction that she likely craves., hopefully while remaining fully zipped up.

The pheronome based love paint has not dried on this gal.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

West said:


> My wife is posting some photos of herself on instagram and snap chat that have her showing off her sexy side. My wife is an attractive woman and for the past year now she feels this need to post pics and see how many "likes" she can get. I compliment her every moment I'm with her, I go above and beyond to make her day better and yet she seeks "likes" from others. I don't understand. She will spend her whole day while I'm at work taking the perfect picture. We have 2 young children whom get no attention due to this. My wife is 25 and we've been married since she was 20. I'm almost 30 so maybe it's an age thing? She's recently stated that she regrets her decision on having kids and getting married. When I inform her of how uncomfortable it makes me feel to have these photos posted, she claims that I'm being controlling. I don't get it. Am I just to conservative this day in age? I just hate the attention she gets from random people, and the fact that she doesn't think about my feelings has me wondering if she wants out of our life together. Has anyone had similar experiences?
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


West the statement about regretting getting married and having kids is the kick in the gut. 

She is ready to leave the marriage with that. You need to stop pursuing and start a 180. You also need to have a frank conversation in weather or not she wants to be in this marriage. If she says she doesn't know don't pursue her. Get day care together and inform her that she can leave at anytime. This is a path to cheat. 

You not putting up with her bs will wake her up to what she has been doing. Or she will leave.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

ABHale said:


> West the statement about regretting getting married and having kids is the kick in the gut.
> 
> She is ready to leave the marriage with that. You need to stop pursuing and start a 180. You also need to have a frank conversation in weather or not she wants to be in this marriage. If she says she doesn't know don't pursue her. Get day care together and inform her that she can leave at anytime. This is a path to cheat.
> 
> You not putting up with her bs, this will wake her up to what she has been doing. Or she will leave.


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

This is about as textbook as it gets. I have seen this happen with many women after they get married, spit out kids, have a job, deal with all the pitfalls of life as a parent... and then they see their youth slipping away. Usually late 30's and early 40's. Something snaps and they start having more girls' night outs, more time at the gym, and way more time on social media. The problem is that society as a whole doesn't say "Hey... what you're doing is not good" but instead says "you go girl!". With every "like" and follower she gets online, she is filling up her validation coffers. They are telling her that she's on the right path. 

Emotionally splitting from the kids is also par for the course, I'm afraid.

You're seeing this now at age 25?! Ooof. 

Will you be able to salvage this and pull her away from that world and become more "maternal" and wife-like? No... probably not. Take care of yourself. You're in for a bumpy ride my friend. Best of luck to you.


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