# Very confused on what to think or do anymore



## cbachinger (Sep 13, 2007)

Here is the story in detail:

I met a woman 6 months ago at work (literally when i started working). Beautiful, tall, good charisma and a colourful character.

I asked her to go out with me after about a month but she was happy to be single and wanted to get to know me more which i agreed with. But it has been 5 months since then and nothing has happened. I will always try to make time for friends when they ask if i want to go out with them and do whatever but with her, she never seems to want to do anything with me, even though recently she told me twice we can do something -so im not expecting anything else special from her. I will even try and change my day off to be with someone special to me but she seems unknown to this idea herself. Not the first time that i sent her an sms to ask her if she would like to have dinner or something like that and learn more about each other but i only get an answer a day later and i have the strong feeling that she is deliberately ignoring it but when we talk briefly at work, i swear that her eyes almost sparkle when we do and she says goodbye in such a personal way (that look again and waves enthusiastically) - but she says that is just her being friendly.

It has got to a point that i cant even say hello or goodbye as lovingly as i would like to because i love her too much to just give her an overfriendly gesture.

But for her, all of this above is normal for her.

Am i just an admirer or really in love but she is not giving us a chance?

Must i just accept that she only wants friendship after 6 months like this or be more persistent to gain her confidence and trust?

I am happy on the inside but lonely and disappointed deep down and even though i concentrate on my work to get it down, nature does tend to revive it.

Any other advice would be great!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I would try to accept that she is only interested in a friendship. Since you do work together, and she sounds like a nice person, she probably is just being friendly. I'd leave it at that. It doesn't sound as though you know her well enough to be 'in love' with her, it's sounds more like infatuation to me. I would try to meet someone outside of the office...much less complicated.


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## cbachinger (Sep 13, 2007)

I understand. My natural problem is that i fall in love too fast with such women and my ex once told me this.

I even heard in a movie once and it somehow described me (sadly) "i love women too much to get married" But i want to get married, have kids and have a happy life with my future family.

Guess i just have to accept the fact that she doesnt want to go further.

But i am not the first person to ask her and she always said that she wants to get to know the person first - which is fair. But she doesnt seem to allow time for me or maybe others. Like i said, she answers much later after it is much too late and when i know that she is day off and i sms her from work during the day if she would like to have dinner, she never replies. This is the part that confuses me.

But i think you are right - i have to find a way to bury my feelings because they have been raging for 6 months now  Any ideas? Ive tried to ignore the feelings but they just come back.

So, the next time i get asked "why dont you have a gfriend from coworkers?", ill simply answer "ask the girls that i asked out why not"


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

or if it's a female asking you that simply say 'because you haven't asked me yet'....but again, it would be easier to meet someone outside of the workplace


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