# ANGRY, fvck it.



## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

I am so mad. This week has been hell emotionally for me. 
Who do I have to support me? It is not my "Better half." Where is he? He is here, but he is not here. Make sense? Anyways, I lost my job last week. First sorry thing. Two, my sister is in a world of mess due to drugs. Three all week, my little dog has been having his random little "hiding" shets around the house. Now, let me say this grosses me out to no fvcking end. I don't know why. I just cant stand it. I flipped out earlier because he scooted his butt across my decorative pillows on the couch then dragged his butt in the floor...POOP! GROSS,GROSS,GROSS! That was the topper for me. I got so angry I felt for a minute like I didn't know who I was. I have done that a few times before. I don't really know how to explain it. But, I just need some support! i have not been sleeping well because i came off of third shift and it is messing me up. I dropped my classes in school this semester because I was not resting enough, had no focus, felt angry from lack of sleep and being overwhelmed. I feel like a failure. I don't want to feel like i cant be in control of my life. Which is exactly what i feel like. I just want to feel normal and a little at ease. Blah, blah, blah....

Sorry


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

When it rains it pours.

Life is a roller coaster, full of ups and downs. You are at the bottom right now, don't worry, it will all return to normal in time.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Have you spoken to your better half that you need a shoulder to lean on?

Sister - her problem. Don't shoulder it for her. (easier said than done but really, it's her issue - you can be there when she straightens up)
Dog - I'm a compassionate dog owner. The happy dog is a trained dog. Walk often so you know he doesn't do that out of desperation. Then crate when you can't be sitting with or otherwise paying attention to the dog. The other option is use a leash in the house so they are with you all of the time and can't sneak off while you are doing laundry, etc. 

That leaves you with 2 problems. Job/hours and school. You already made the school decision - don't beat yourself up. Something had to give. Adjust to the new hours. Count back 8 hours from the time you have to get up, regardless of the time of day. An hour before bedtime avoid lights, noise and any electronic devices (the blue light they give off is the issue) and take some time to either meditate, stretch, have sex or take a bath. Use aromatherapy with relaxing smells in the bath or burn a candle or incense while doing the other things. 

When your body adjusts and you can sleep, you won't feel tired and therefore not as angry. Then it will be easier to cope.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Im sorry about your situation. But to be honest, I laughed my ass off about the dog. Sorry. There was some good advice about taking the dog for a walk. The dog could take care of buisness and you could decompress. I hope everything works out for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

The issue with my dog, I had them on the Rachel ray dog food. I found a great deal on Iams a 50 pound bag, and I got that. I usually keep both of them on Iams. I think it hasn't settled well on his stomach. It just grossed me out so much! He is the Yorkie. I also have a Lab/Giant Schnauzer. Odd couple. But they are good dogs. Now, I have time to walk them, and I don't even feel like going out of the house. Hermit...

No, there isn't emotional support. That's one thing I was so mad about. I told him today I feel less like his companion as the days go by. He said just try to be in a better mood later. THANKS A BUNCH.
I am still going to be in a negative fit about this. It usually takes me a bit to get away from the feelings when I get like that. I just wonder why I even bother with him sometimes.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Taking the dog for a walk will help a lot with your mood and will help the dogs with their energy. 

Also, with dog food, when you switch foods, you always have to transition them or you will upset their stomach. You can't just suddenly start a new food. You give 75% old food 25% new food, then a few days later 50% old 50% new food, a few days after that 25% old food 75% new food, and then all of the new food a few days even later. 

As much as it sucks that your husband isn't being there emotionally, try working on yourself and deal with him later. Look at things that will help you fell better(exercise, hobby, etc.). 

Hope it all works out.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Anonymous07 said:


> Taking the dog for a walk will help a lot with your mood and will help the dogs with their energy.
> 
> Also, with dog food, when you switch foods, you always have to transition them or you will upset their stomach. You can't just suddenly start a new food. You give 75% old food 25% new food, then a few days later 50% old 50% new food, a few days after that 25% old food 75% new food, and then all of the new food a few days even later.
> 
> ...


You know, I really didn't know that about the dog food. Thanks for sharing that. I cant work on me and deal with him later. I moved out once because of this in September, and also because he just loved to talk about, judge me and bring his family in the middle of everything. I don't feel like dealing with it again. I don't have any motivation whatsoever to work out. It doesn't interest me. Im sure ill find something. Thanks!


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

We used to call my dog dragging his butt across the carpet Draggy Poos. Grossed me out too! It also meant he had to go to the groomer to have his anal glands expressed. So a regular once a month grooming stopped that. 

You are NOT a failure. Repeat: you are NOT a failure. You're stressed and tired and worried! And it doesn't help when your "better half" is living in his own world. 

Let your sister deal with her stuff. You take care of you. Follow EW's advice. Get your sleep no matter what. I bet you'll feel slightly more capable of handling life. Lack of sleep brings emotions very close to the surface.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

AnnieAsh said:


> We used to call my dog dragging his butt across the carpet Draggy Poos. Grossed me out too! It also meant he had to go to the groomer to have his anal glands expressed. So a regular once a month grooming stopped that.
> 
> You are NOT a failure. Repeat: you are NOT a failure. You're stressed and tired and worried! And it doesn't help when your "better half" is living in his own world.
> 
> Let your sister deal with her stuff. You take care of you. Follow EW's advice. Get your sleep no matter what. I bet you'll feel slightly more capable of handling life. Lack of sleep brings emotions very close to the surface.


Ahw thanks! I know I need to rest. I cant get comfortable. My body aches, I feel miserable. But, like I said, I don't feel like working out. 

He lives in his own world too much. It would just be nice to know if I am hurting inside that I have someone there to be my other wing. I have explained and explained until I am blue in the face. I don't know what to do anymore.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

If you struggle with sadness or low moods - the most important thing in your life might be those dogs. The companionship they offer can be more soothing than that from humans. Medical evidence to support that BTW. Hope you feel better.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

nuclearnightmare said:


> If you struggle with sadness or low moods - the most important thing in your life might be those dogs. The companionship they offer can be more soothing than that from humans. Medical evidence to support that BTW. Hope you feel better.


I am very depressed. I have been taking anxiety medication to help me. Numbs it for a bit anyways.

I like dogs. I am a cat lover. 

They know something is bothering me, they try to snuggle and make me feel better. I just don't want them to be on me or near me a lot here lately. I am just being selfish and distant about everything I guess. Im just sick of everything.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

bkaydezz said:


> I am very depressed. I have been taking anxiety medication to help me. Numbs it for a bit anyways.
> 
> I like dogs. I am a cat lover.
> 
> They know something is bothering me, they try to snuggle and make me feel better. I just don't want them to be on me or near me a lot here lately. I am just being selfish and distant about everything I guess. Im just sick of everything.


I'm sorry to hear that (depression). Sometimes medication is not enough. Some individual counseling or therapy might help you. Do you have insurance that would cover that?


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

I do. I may need to do that. Thank you!


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## kitty2013 (Dec 6, 2013)

bkaydezz said:


> I am very depressed. I have been taking anxiety medication to help me. Numbs it for a bit anyways.
> 
> I like dogs. I am a cat lover.
> 
> They know something is bothering me, they try to snuggle and make me feel better. I just don't want them to be on me or near me a lot here lately. I am just being selfish and distant about everything I guess. Im just sick of everything.


Do you eat a well balanced diet and exercise? if not, please try it, you will feel so much better. 
"Everything happens for a reason, although we may not understand it at the time, if you hang in there, all the pieces will eventually fall where they belong." (Nishan Panwar quotes)

I hope you feel better.


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## jay1365 (May 22, 2013)

The anxiety med - are you taking a benzo like xanax or a true anti-depressant? If you have depression, benzos can make it worse.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

jay1365 said:


> The anxiety med - are you taking a benzo like xanax or a true anti-depressant? If you have depression, benzos can make it worse.


It is lorazepam. (Ativan) I only take it when I need it. Here as of late ive been taking it once in the morning and once at night. 

I can tell a huge difference. I just hate working out. It doesn't make me feel good like others.


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## FizzBomb (Dec 31, 2013)

Bkaydezz, sorry to hear you've been depressed. On top of that to have family problems and partner problems. I, too laughed when I read your dog story. . I am a cat lover too although I like dogs. The pooing and dragging thing with dogs is one of the reasons we don't have one .

It sounds like you need to focus on yourself as you are overwhelmed with life at the present moment. Getting a good deep sleep consistently is key to coping. Are you sleeping ok? I went through a pretty long insomnia spell and I had to drag myself through each and every day. I hope your depression eases. If the medication isn't helping you, you may need to find another one that works for you.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

FizzBomb said:


> Bkaydezz, sorry to hear you've been depressed. On top of that to have family problems and partner problems. I, too laughed when I read your dog story. . I am a cat lover too although I like dogs. The pooing and dragging thing with dogs is one of the reasons we don't have one .
> 
> It sounds like you need to focus on yourself as you are overwhelmed with life at the present moment. Getting a good deep sleep consistently is key to coping. Are you sleeping ok? I went through a pretty long insomnia spell and I had to drag myself through each and every day. I hope your depression eases. If the medication isn't helping you, you may need to find another one that works for you.


I laughed later after I had clamed down. 

I have never been able to rest well. My body always feels tired.
Every now and again I feel rested and ready to go. I think I am so used to feeling exhausted, but I can tell when I get overly exhausted because I get so ill. I have been having issues with depression forever. I really think as a small child I had it. I always stuck to myself and even around others I was nervous to engage in anything, but slowly I grew out of that, by time I was in high school I had enough of being someone who didn't have a voice. Now I just cant seem to turn it off. haha

Thank you though. I have good days. But here lately, not so much. 

The medication helps to relax me when I feel like I am going be really anxious or am anxious. I can feel the anxiety smothering me. It is aweful. I used to say, why do people talk about being depressed all the time. Now I know. I wish I never sad that.


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