# One night



## hbgirl (Feb 15, 2011)

End of long work day not feeling well & the thought of taking a nap makes me smile. That smile quickly vanishes as I'm coerced into "getting ready" for what he wants. Two hours later, in full costume and camera ready to record it starts....1st several objects inserted fast & furious until I was crying and his excitement grows. 2nd he pleasures himself inside me while I feel like I'm being torn inside. Finally he gets his way and inserts fists fast, hard as my tears and cries become loud & I begin to worry about my kids hearing and he's satisfied at last. The next day I ache inside in every way possible and he's mad because I'm grouchy


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Why do you allow this? This is not how the sexual experience for a married couple should be. I'm a man and I wouldn't put my wife through anything like that simply because it's what i like. If she doesn't like it then it shouldn't be done.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

That is just sick, twisted and deranged! Why on Earth do you stay?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Call the cops.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I second the cops recommendation. This is basically rape.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

hbgirl said:


> End of long work day not feeling well & the thought of taking a nap makes me smile. That smile quickly vanishes as I'm coerced into "getting ready" for what he wants. Two hours later, in full costume and camera ready to record it starts....1st several objects inserted fast & furious until I was crying and his excitement grows. 2nd he pleasures himself inside me while I feel like I'm being torn inside. Finally he gets his way and inserts fists fast, hard as my tears and cries become loud & I begin to worry about my kids hearing and he's satisfied at last. The next day I ache inside in every way possible and he's mad because I'm grouchy


very sad to hear!!!!

this is abuse emotional and sexual.


the only thing I can say is try to gain some self confidence back and politly refuse.if he won't take no for an answer call 911
and when the dust clears tell everybody what a sick perverted person he is and then take pride in standing up for yourself .everybody will be better off you,your children and him in the long run.

good luck and god bless


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Please stop the rape talk.
This is not rape, this is consensual sex.

It`s brutal, unloving, self-centered,and fairly evil but it`s consensual.
Therefore it`s not rape.

hbgirl simply needs to refuse to do this.

Have you spoken to your husband about how this **** makes you feel?
What it does to you?

He is well aware this type of sexual activity is not the norm and you should let him know you lean more towards the norm.

Trouble is from reading your other posts it seems to me he`s become so desensitized to real intimacy this brutal scene is the only thing that really truly excites him.
That`s a problem but it`s his problem, not yours.

Tell him no, tell him you won`t be used as a **** doll for his pleasure.
Remind him there`s a real person at the other end of that sex toy.

Tell him no.

Dealing with the anger, resentment, and fallout from the rejection just might lead the two of you to a better understanding.
Or it might lead you to the end of your relationship.
Either outcome is an improvement.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Oregon v Rideout; 1978. Marriage is not consent against spousal rape.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Bet a good DA could argue and win that this is abuse and rape. And who said she didn't ask him to stop one or more times? I think it has even been established that it can be rape even in the absence of saying no. Freeze is a valid response to feeling threatened.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## blondebombshell (May 2, 2011)

Wow, reading that made me extremely sad for you. I hope you can get out of that situation, as soon as possible.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

This is indeed spousal rape. No question about it. It is also domestic violence and emotional abuse. He gets off on hurting you, degrading you, demeaning you, seeing your pain. He is a sadist.
I have read your posts. The guy is an addict, a liar, a cheater, an abuser, a f'ing nightmare. When is enough enough?
You have a 13 year old and a 14 year old living there. Trust me, they know what is going on. I have a 13 year old and he knows everything that goes on in this house, hell he knows what goes on in the neighbors house. You aren't hiding anything. If you can't leave for the sake of yourself, leave for the sake of your children. Do they deserve to be motherless? What he is doing to you could cause serious risks to your internal organs and possibly death. Is this monster worth that?
Get out, get out, get out. Call 411 and ask for the local office of Legal Aid. There is one in every major city. They can help you with your legal options, they can file an order of protection for you, they can help you with custody and they are all legal professionals who volunteer their time. It costs you nothing.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Oregon v Rideout; 1978. Marriage is not consent against spousal rape.


No one said marriage is consent.
Her consent is consent.

She does consent to be involved even though she clearly doesn`t like it.

She should refuse


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

ClipClop said:


> Bet a good DA could argue and win that this is abuse and rape. And who said she didn't ask him to stop one or more times? I think it has even been established that it can be rape even in the absence of saying no. Freeze is a valid response to feeling threatened.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You people are terrifying.
:scratchhead:


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Wanted to add this psycho is recording this. That is your smoking gun. Any Prosecutor worth his or her salt could get a conviction with this kind of recorded evidence. 
On top of that, given his addiction, he has uploaded it to share porn sites. No doubt about it. Technically you agreed to be videotaped. I am not suggesting you didn't without coercion but it would be argued that you knew you were being filmed. Uploading the footage to a website without your consent however is in nearly all states.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

tacoma said:


> You people are terrifying.
> :scratchhead:


It's on tape. Do you think a jury would look at the footage and NOT see rape as she is crying and trying to cover up her screams? Even without the tape a decent medical evaluation would show signs of scarring, bruising, etc. Do you think a jury would think that this is normal?
Ever hear of battered wife syndrome?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

He will lose you....you will find some one that treats you good and you will go with them, even as you get abused you will look forward to the OM that is gentle with kind words.

He is getting his fill and you are not, in a few years you will be cheating on him.

The resentment will build and it will snow ball. Can you see it already. You resent him at the end of the night of rough sex, and he will resent you for not being all lovey dovey. Again and again, so it will not even be about sex but so many years have gone by it will be about anything that will justify your self preservation in finding someone that doesn't want rough sex all the time.

Please go get some help the both of you are heading down a unhealthy path that took me and my wife years to face and fix.


It not worth it so get the help that will help set up healthy boundries and both your needs can be met and all viods in the marriage can be filled.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

One more thing, do you have a safe word that he is ignoring? or have you even established one.

Until the camera goes on the both of you need to have boundries. Before you even put your "costume" on there must be a safe word. We use the word "pink"

Man how did it get this bad? Major boundries are bing crossed.Is he drinking alot before the roleplay. I mean it sound like role play has gone way behond what you agreed to when you both started these games. It happened to use. After the rape my W has never let me go down that road again.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Holy Crap! I wish there was an emoticon for puking because after reading this that's what I want to do! Oh my LORD!!

Pack up and LEAVE TODAY! There are places for battered woman and if you don't qualify as abused and battered than I don't know does. PLEASE do this before it gets worse!!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Brennan said:


> It's on tape. Do you think a jury would look at the footage and NOT see rape as she is crying and trying to cover up her screams? Even without the tape a decent medical evaluation would show signs of scarring, bruising, etc. Do you think a jury would think that this is normal?
> Ever hear of battered wife syndrome?


Battered wife syndrome is not rape.

"Abnormal" is not illegal.

Sexual activity with a person who has failed to give consent or has directly refused consent is rape.

This is many many things but it is not rape.

This can end by her simple refusal to be a part of it.

The fact that she has allowed this to continue for as long as it has could easily be seen by a jury as consent.
Who would allow their rapist to repeat the deed over and over again?

Get the hell away from him.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

We are terrifying? How so? Or maybe you don't get the effects of long term abuse on ppls ability to protect themselves. This is not consentual. It may have begun that way but that time is long past.

BTW, I froze when I was being abused. It took years for me to say a word in protest. None of it was with my permission. 

The taping and I agree, almost certain uploading to sites that cater to sickos who hate women is the best way to get this guy. She has kids. If they are girls they may be in danger coz this guy doesn't see women as human.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Do you have any legal basis for what your saying or are you worried about your own fetishes and trying to call this what it isn't for fear you'd be painted with the same brush?
You can argue it any way you like. That's what defense lawyers do. But it is perp speak, not human rights speak.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

tacoma said:


> Battered wife syndrome is not rape.
> 
> "Abnormal" is not illegal.
> 
> ...


You have never been abused. I put up with a momentous amount of abuse when I was living with my former boyfriend. The mind control and the sheer terror of upsetting them further makes you succumb to them. I have been here a while. Perhaps you should read about my past and then see if battered wife/gf syndrome isn't real. It is. Now, can we give legal consent? Sure. Did we do under duress? You bet your a$$. If you are doing something out of fear of something else being worse, it isn't consent. It is coercion and abuse and in her case, spousal rape. It IS on tape. I seriously doubt any jury in this country would not view that as rape. Play that in front of 12 people who either have a wife, a girlfriend, a daughter, a mother, a niece....basically anybody and you have a conviction. A woman who is in so much pain that she has to stiffle her screams so her daughters don't hear it? Seriously? A first year ADA could get a conviction.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

tacoma said:


> Battered wife syndrome is not rape.
> 
> "Abnormal" is not illegal.
> 
> ...


Rape lowers self esteem; the victims are often afraid to tell because they fear that they will be blamed or not believed.
I was in an abusive relationship for two years. If I did not have sex with that awful person, he would call me names and ask endless questions about whether or not I loved him. I didn't think I deserved any better...he was really ugly.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Get out!!!!!!!!! And get your girls out now!!!!!!


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

I have read your other threads and it does not matter what label gets put on this situation! The fact is that this is an extremely unhealthy relationship and marriage. 

Try to step back a minute and let go of your emotions and look at your life objectively. If your daughter was married to a man who treated her this way - what would you tell her? Would you want this kind of life for her and her children?

If my daughter were in a situation like this I would be very concerned for her well being and for the well being of her children. I would encourage her with every fiber in me to seek professional counseling so that she could get help to learn to stand up for herself and her children, help to learn to enforce boundaries, help to understand that she does not nor should not allow anyone to treat her this way!

If you are in a room, crying and screaming from pain being inflicted on you by the man you supposedly love and who supposedly loves you - don't think for a minute that your teen age children don't have a clue what is going on. I can only imagine the fear and pain that must be going on in their heads. Is this the kind of relationship that you want them to think is OK and that they should accept?

Please seek help - if not for your sake but for the sake of your children!!!!


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Okay so maybe "rape" is a strong word but it's still domestic abuse which can be prosecuted. I'm married to a cop and the tapes alone for proof would get him arrested. Just her story with bruising would be enough to have a case.

I know because also I've been in a physically abusive relationship. The guy I was with got arrested (I had bruises from being hit). All he got was probation but at least it got me out and he was ordered to pay for damages to my property which was all I wanted. Then I got out.


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## hbgirl (Feb 15, 2011)

I don't feel like it's rape because I've never said "No." I always end up giving in thinking it'll keep the peace in our house. If I refuse we fight for days and the kids hear it all. He's even told me "I've never done anything that you haven't let me do." 
This is going to sound very stupid I know but how do share porn sites work? How would I know if he's done this? Are there names of specific sites? This worries me too!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

tacoma said:


> No one said marriage is consent.
> Her consent is consent.
> 
> She does consent to be involved even though she clearly doesn`t like it.
> ...


Ah, now we're wading into murky waters, aren't we? No means no, sort of, most of the time, unless it doesn't unless she says nothing or says yes but thinks no or they were already having vaginal intercourse and she changes her mind, even if she's drunk even if they're both drunk. etc etc.

In any case, perhaps it's not forcible rape, it could be construed as being compelled into a sexual act without a clear sense of the ability to form consent. It's possible but murky.

But no one need feel shamed, abused, humiliated, used, by marital sex either. There's something profoundly broken with that. I suppose there are relationships where the parties agree that one of them is a sex machine, a piece of meat, a cum dumpster. And if that's what they want, ok. But that's a special case.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

hbgirl said:


> He's even told me "I've never done anything that you haven't let me do."


Isn't this kinda like admitting that he knows it's wrong? Pushing the responsibility back on you because you agreed to it. Full well knowing you won't say no due to whatever consequence there is for doing so. It's no win situation for you.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Ah, now we're wading into murky waters, aren't we? No means no, sort of, most of the time, unless it doesn't unless she says nothing or says yes but thinks no or they were already having vaginal intercourse and she changes her mind, even if she's drunk even if they're both drunk. etc etc.


I wish I could remember but wasn't there a very public case a few years ago where a wife said that her husband raped her? It was videotaped too oh no wait she recorded it with a tape recorder. In the tape you could hear her screaming in what sounded like obvious pain. Some argued it was consentual that maybe she got off on it but the jury didn't buy it.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Start hurting him back, become the Dom, next time your in bed, game on b*tch. Give him a taste, grap his balls and pull, show him it can go both ways.
Tell him "its your turn now wimp boy so on your knee!"
Your not turning him down but whats fair is fair, right? If he wants that kind of sex play then it has to go both ways. It may change his mind, it did for me.


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## hbgirl (Feb 15, 2011)

It would more than likely backfire. He'd love it then expect me to do something else I'm not comfortable with.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Brennan said:


> It IS on tape. I seriously doubt any jury in this country would not view that as rape. Play that in front of 12 people who either have a wife, a girlfriend, a daughter, a mother, a niece....basically anybody and you have a conviction. A woman who is in so much pain that she has to stiffle her screams so her daughters don't hear it? Seriously? A first year ADA could get a conviction.


If that were true, then there would be loads of easy convictions for first year ADAs. A quick Google search will turn up a ton of rape pornography available for sale. All an ambitious prosecutor would have to do is spring for the money to buy the tape, then convict everyone involved. I mean, they do some pretty sick things on those tapes. It would be a slam dunk, right? Not really. It's that inconvenient matter of consent being a defense against rape. Since the people on the tape gave consent, it doesn't really matter how twisted it is. It's not rape.

Given that the OP has stated that she has never refused her husband, a reasonable person (let alone 12 reasonable people) should conclude that it is not rape.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

PHTlump said:


> If that were true, then there would be loads of easy convictions for first year ADAs. A quick Google search will turn up a ton of rape pornography available for sale. All an ambitious prosecutor would have to do is spring for the money to buy the tape, then convict everyone involved. I mean, they do some pretty sick things on those tapes. It would be a slam dunk, right? Not really. It's that inconvenient matter of consent being a defense against rape. Since the people on the tape gave consent, it doesn't really matter how twisted it is. It's not rape.
> 
> Given that the OP has stated that she has never refused her husband, a reasonable person (let alone 12 reasonable people) should conclude that it is not rape.


How is the OP giving consent if her agreeing to do something is based on the premise that if she does this, then she avoids being further hurt? That is not consent. That is spousal rape under the premise of duress and coercion. It is also a symptom of Battered Wife Syndrome. Bullying someone in to doing something they don't want to do and wouldn't do not under duress is not consent. In the OP's case, she literally said she is afraid of him and what it could escalate to had she not complied. Having a robber tell you to hand over your watch and wallet and you willingly fork it over does not mean you consented. You were under duress and fear of something worse. NOT consent, just like the OP's situation.
As for convictions, you are comparing apples to oranges. In the OP's case, she is a victim and has shared with us how afraid she is. She has evidence, physical and recorded and could hand that over to a Prosecutor. I also firmly believe he has uploaded these videos for the world to see and depending on where she lives, that is also a crime. So the OP vs. unknown women in random tapes. Prosecutors don't troll the net looking for victims. They have thousands of them coming to them each year. Rape victims especially. 5,000 back logged rape kits in my city alone. 
I certainly think 12 people could see this for what it is.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Yeah I don't know. Suffice to say that if one person is loving it and the other is crying, there's something horrible going on. That's sadistic torture. And not in a role playing way.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Runs like Dog said:


> Yeah I don't know. Suffice to say that if one person is loving it and the other is crying, there's something horrible going on. That's sadistic torture. And not in a role playing way.


Agreed.

Forget the label and just get out of there.

Next time tell him no and if he persists, call 911.

In the meantime start making plans to leave.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> Agreed.
> 
> Forget the label and just get out of there.
> 
> ...



After she takes a mallet to his testicles.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Brennan said:


> After she takes a mallet to his testicles.


Sounds reasonable to me.


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## typewittyusernamehere (Feb 12, 2011)

I'm sorry to sound heartless, but what's horrid is that she is actually staying, and she actually thinks her daughters don't hear what's going on. What's horrid is this is teaching her daughters that is how to be treated by a man. Just get the hell out of the situation, if not for your sake, your daughters' sake....


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Brennan said:


> How is the OP giving consent if her agreeing to do something is based on the premise that if she does this, then she avoids being further hurt? That is not consent. That is spousal rape under the premise of duress and coercion. It is also a symptom of Battered Wife Syndrome. Bullying someone in to doing something they don't want to do and wouldn't do not under duress is not consent.


You seem to be arguing philosophy and not the law. I'm not a lawyer, but I would be surprised if any statute defined rape as "forcible penetration without consent, unless the victim wants to avoid an argument or is a battered wife, in which case consent isn't possible to be granted." I'm simply saying that, if I were on the jury and knew the facts as the OP has presented them in this thread, I would not vote to convict the OP's husband of rape.



Brennan said:


> In the OP's case, she literally said she is afraid of him and what it could escalate to had she not complied. Having a robber tell you to hand over your watch and wallet and you willingly fork it over does not mean you consented. You were under duress and fear of something worse. NOT consent, just like the OP's situation.


I haven't read the OP's other threads, so I don't know her situation as well as you might. But her earlier statements on this thread stated that she felt it was not rape because she never said no. She said she did it to keep the peace and not fight so that her children could hear. She didn't say that she feared for her life.

As for a robber, the threat is explicit. Do you think that a husband who grabs money out of his wife's purse should be prosecuted for robbery? What if it was on tape?



Brennan said:


> As for convictions, you are comparing apples to oranges. In the OP's case, she is a victim and has shared with us how afraid she is. She has evidence, physical and recorded and could hand that over to a Prosecutor.


I haven't interpreted her statements as fear of bodily harm. Maybe she does fear harm and hasn't communicated clearly. It seems clear that she doesn't desire the kind of sex her husband wants, but the world is full of people who willingly do undesirable things for their spouses.



Brennan said:


> I certainly think 12 people could see this for what it is.


It is a wife engaging in distasteful sex with her husband. The wife states that she never refused to participate and doesn't believe she was raped. And you believe that a jury should redefine rape to be forcible, non-consensual sex, or consensual sex that is very distasteful and recorded on video. I propose we stick with the first part and ignore the second.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

PHT,
You do make some good points. Proving rape in this case might be dicey but can we at least agree that she is doing this to prevent further abuse? She said that much. To me, that doesn't sound like somebody who is doing something of their own free will and accord. As for a husband taking money out of his wifes purse vs. robbery, with a robber there is the implied threat of violence, the first not at all. In the OP's case when it comes to sex, there is the implication that if she does not comply with this, more harm will come to her. He is using the same method as a robber would with regards to terrorizing the victim. She has also mentioned in a previous post that she suspects he is cheating but is too afraid to confront him for fear of what he will do. That certainly sounds to me like she lives in fear of this monster. 
To the OP, please get out. This will not end well otherwise.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

ClipClop said:


> Do you have any legal basis for what your saying or are you worried about your own fetishes and trying to call this what it isn't for fear you'd be painted with the same brush?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That was seriously uncalled for.

It appears that brush has already been loaded.

Simply because I think with a rational mind instead of following knee-jerk reactions issued from my emotions I`m painted as a deviant.

The story in the OP does not fit the legal definition of rape and as a man I despise people redefining the term to suit ones needs when it`s convenient.

Rape is an extremely serious accusation that can and often does unjustly destroy a mans life due to the very same knee-jerk reactions I`m seeing from nearly every woman in this thread and frankly it disgusts me more than the OP`s sexual kinks.

Here`s an idea, "REFUSE TO GIVE CONSENT" it`s that simple really.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Tacoma,
I agree that comment was uncalled for. In no way does that reflect my view. The problem with the OP is that she is too scared NOT to give consent. She is afraid of what more could happen to her if she doesn't agree. That isn't consent, that is coercion and abuse. 
Perhaps this doesn't fit the legal definition of rape but it certainly sounds alot more than consenting sex. Using the threat of further violence to get what you want is not consensual, it can't be. The OP isn't in the position to consent to this because she fears for her safety. Her husband (from her posts) has a long history of scare tactics and terrorizing behavior. 
I agree that rape is a serious accusation. I have two sons, one of which is 18. I have raised him to be respectful of himself and his partner. Easiest way to not have a rape allegation lodged against you? Don't act like a rapist. OP's husband certainly is acting like one. Getting off on the power, the pain and the control of hurting her. That is what rape is all about, it isn't sex.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Exacting definitions bs practical limits of what is going on.

Which to choose?

To me, if someone feels abused and scared it's time to get away from that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rppearso (Feb 4, 2011)

magnoliagal said:


> I second the cops recommendation. This is basically rape.


Wow really, please dont follow this advice the cops will laugh at you. My wife and I dont do anal because it hurts so I would not do it anymore but to call it rape is way out into left field. I feel sorry for anyone that has any dealings with magnolia in real life.


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

rppearso said:


> Wow really, please dont follow this advice the cops will laugh at you. My wife and I dont do anal because it hurts so I would not do it anymore but to call it rape is way out into left field. I feel sorry for anyone that has any dealings with magnolia in real life.


Whoa there. Have you even read this thread? Anal wasn't even mentioned. The whole premise of this thread is a wife coerced into violent, painful sex. Your post doesn't even relate to this thread.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

MGirl,
The person posting this response claims to have divorced his wife because she didn't swallow. Read his posts. 
And now back to our regularly scheduled program.


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## rppearso (Feb 4, 2011)

MGirl said:


> Whoa there. Have you even read this thread? Anal wasn't even mentioned. The whole premise of this thread is a wife coerced into violent, painful sex. Your post doesn't even relate to this thread.


Still not rape but go ahead and call the cops, also if you falsly claim rape you can be brought up on charges yourself.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Didn't realize we had so many legal experts here.

What's happening is clearly wrong, regarldess of how its labled.

If the OP wanted to pursue this as rape, I'm sure a case could be made.

But in the meantime, she needs to start standing up for herself and begin creating an escape plan.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

nice777guy said:


> But in the meantime, she needs to start standing up for herself and begin creating an escape plan.


This is definitely the best advice. I'm very sorry our OP is enduring such abuse. She needs to go to family or friends for help. If that isn't available, she needs to seek a shelter for abused women. In addition, counseling would be a great place to turn.

It's also unfortunate this thread has turned into a debate over whether this is rape. The debate isn't helping OP. Claiming rape is a waste of time and will lead OP to further humiliation and mental futility. If she were to preceded with the rape charge her husband's attorney could further demoralize her. The attorney could turn that video around to favor his client. She didn't say "no" in it and the husband could argue "role playing". As a person who has spent a lot of time in court lately, it's unnerving what an attorney on the opposing side can do with "proof". 

hbgirl, please go deep within yourself and find the strength to get out of this situation. It is ABUSE!


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Brennan said:


> PHT,
> You do make some good points. Proving rape in this case might be dicey but can we at least agree that she is doing this to prevent further abuse? She said that much.


Based on this thread, I wouldn't say that. She has said that she submits in order to prevent a "fight". If she means physical harm that her husband inflicts upon her unprovoked (meaning she doesn't start hitting him first), then I agree that she is being coerced. However, if she means she wants to avoid a loud argument where her husband yells at her, or they yell at each other, then I disagree that she is coerced.



Brennan said:


> She has also mentioned in a previous post that she suspects he is cheating but is too afraid to confront him for fear of what he will do. That certainly sounds to me like she lives in fear of this monster.


Again, it depends on what she means. She may mean that she is afraid he will leave her, or blame her for his cheating. Or she may mean he will physically hurt her.

I agree that the relationship sounds unhealthy. At a minimum, the OP needs to start asserting herself and refusing consent for sex that she doesn't want. If that results in unprovoked violence, then she should call the police, press charges, and divorce him. If that results in a boisterous argument, then she should embrace the argument. Either way, her situation would improve.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

What???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

PHTlump said:


> ...the OP needs to start asserting herself and refusing consent for sex that she doesn't want. If that results in unprovoked violence, then she should call the police, press charges, and divorce him. If that results in a boisterous argument, then she should embrace the argument. Either way, her situation would improve.


That makes sense. That's the issue. The rape debate could very likely go either way in court so lets just drop it. 

The ABUSE itself needs to stop.


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