# Angry, Hurt, & Outraged



## merlin87tx (Jul 17, 2012)

So I'm not sure where to start this bit. My husband and I haven't been married long and we've had our ups and downs from early marriage issues, ones that I've heard are pretty common between people getting used to being married.

But I've been coming to a breaking point. Last month, my period had come and was strange. Weird to say like this but it was extremely light and short. I raised an eyebrow, got worried that I might be pregnant, and took a test. It was negative and we were both relieved. I continued to have some cramps afterwards though and then a few weeks later, I've been nauseous.

Note, we do live apart from each other right now. I work overseas and took a month vacation to go visit him. We had a bit of an accident but everything seemed okay. Then after vacation was over, had to come back to finish my contract and then I will be moving to where he is after.

Now my period is two weeks late and I'm worried that I HAD gotten pregnant. I've looked around online and I've read that it is common for women to get pregnant, spot a little between or for a period, and then miss from then on. This worried me. I went to the doctor and found out yes, I am pregnant. I told my husband.

He blew up.

He accused me of cheating on him. That I had my period last month when I was with him and that I must be "whoring around." I'm outraged. I have never given him any reason to doubt me. Have never been unfaithful in MY ENTIRE LIFE. I was SO hurt at that moment, that we ended up having a screaming match for a bit before I hung up.

Now, he's saying he wants me to take a test. Then a few hours later, an email saying that he wanted to get a divorce because I was unfaithful. I agreed to the test but it hurt me. Hurt me so bad to think that he trusted me so little and thought so lowly of me. I know it is his child, there's no other way. I have always been faithful.

But what should I do? Continue with the divorce, even though I am pregnant, and having the justification of the test to show my fidelity? Or should I go with that little voice in the head that says, "He will never trust you as much as you hope or think he would. This has been the wakeup call."

I do know that after I show him the test, that he would feel completely guilty. Anytime we have had a fight that was his fault, he sulked for days and beat himself up pretty bad about it. I know that he would be the same way with this but worse. But I don't know if I would even care by that point. I am really at a crossroad here and I have no idea what to do. I have never been insulted to such a degree before and the outrage I feel, makes me just want to hurt him. Very ugly feelings.

Any advice?


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## samatedge (Dec 7, 2012)

I'd say first, confirm if you're pregnant or not. I'm not a woman but have been married to one for 16 years and there are multiple reasons for the symptoms you describe.

If you're are in fact pregnant, get the test. It'll be worth it to squash this now rather than allowing questions to fester long term. 

Him not trusting you is probably more about him and his own insecurities than with what he truly feels about you. You cannot control that but you can get the test to reassure him - then if things persist this way - encourage him to get counseling. 

Long term relationships are difficult. It sounds like your distance issue will go away shortly and things, hopefully, will settle down into some normalcy. 

Good luck!


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