# I want my marriage



## 1sorrysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

So I told my wife about my recent infidelity and she doesn't want me anymore. I can't say that I blame her because I barely want me. I still love my wife and I will be lost with out her. What do I do what can I do? I don't want to lose my family. I don't want this to end like that. She took off her wedding ring. I took a chance went back on my word and now I have to pay a price greater than what I ever imagined
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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you want your family, why did you cheat?


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## 1sorrysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> If you want your family, why did you cheat?


I was stupid, selfish,and I only thought about me and what I wanted at that time. I did not take into consideration my wife not my kids. I placed everything that I hold dear to heart. I am so stupid
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

1sorrysoul said:


> I took a chance went back on my word and now I have to pay a price greater than what I ever imagined


What does this mean? What word did you go back on? This makes it sound like you cheated more than once.


All you can do it start being a better person and hope she gives you a chance. 

What were the circumstances of your cheating? did you use the internet? facebook? texting? cell phone? were you out with friends acting badly? did you meet the other woman at work? Tell about that so I can get an idea of more things you can do.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The ball is in her court. Don't beg her to be with you. Acknowledge and apologize for your cheating and break of all contact with the OW completely and forever. Commit to full tranparency and honest and answer any questions she has. Suggest marriage counselling and get sme IC too. Ultimately, its up to your wife whether to stay or go, but respect her decision either way and learn from this experience so that you don't repeat this in the future...whether in your marriage to your wife or in any new relationships should you end up divorced. Good luck.
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## 1sorrysoul (Jan 13, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> What does this mean? What word did you go back on? This makes it sound like you cheated more than once.
> 
> I have, this is my second and I had to tell her in order to have any kind of solid base with her ever again. The first time I got caught and she was so see struck that we didn't know what we were gonna do. This time I had to tell her so I did not continue to allow her to live by my lies. The first affair I was leading on another female Tex we had sex but I did not want her. I left her alone before my wife found out about it. This time it was mor of uncertainty of our future and me being stupid and not taking into consideration anything or anyone but myself.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Do as Jellybean posted.

Give your wife the passwords to any computer accounts & cell phones. Let her check up on you any time she wants. Don't go out to place where you can meet up with women. Don't make freinds with women.

Get counseling.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

If you have cheated, a 2nd time, after she gave you a chance---you have a mountain to climb

Your problem now is---she doesn't trust anything that comes out of your mouth, and she figures you will probably cheat on her again

Those are 2 of the many obstacles you have to overcome

You got your self in this predicament---try doing whatever you can to show her, you can be trusted, and will not cheat again

You were a big enuff boy, to get into trouble, now be a man and work yourself back into your family


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and *accept* the consequences of your betrayal(s) to your wife. If she chooses to divorce you, don't fight her - you'll only make her want to leave you even more. Try to engage her in calm and respectful conversation regarding the divorce so it doesn't become a contentious ordeal. If she realizes that you are not going to fight her, she MAY reconsider if divorce is what she truly wants.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I'm confused as to how many chances you think you should get regarding cheating. She gave you a second chance and you made her regret it. The first thing you need to come to terms with is why should she believe you NOW? 

I have to be honest, I don't think the odds are very good. My H cheated and he has ONE chance. If it happens again he is out on his arse. he knows this. I am betting you knew that too, but still decided to cheat. 

You can start by fixing yourself. You broke her heart once and saw the fallout from your actions, yet decided to travel down that path again. Why? (knowing that you were being selfish is great, but addressing why you DIDN'T care enough about her not to do it again is going to be another question she will want answered). 

Did you do MC or IC after the last time??


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

1sorrysoul said:


> I was stupid, selfish,and I only thought about me and what I wanted at that time. I did not take into consideration my wife not my kids. I placed everything that I hold dear to heart. I am so stupid
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


None of that is an answer as to why you cheated.

It's all just noise - words without depth or meaning. Yes they describe the kind of action you've done - but they don't actually address the question.


Why did you cheat?


- until you honestly answer that you will not be able to honestly be with another person in a real relationship because until you understand WHY you did it, you won't know HOW to not do it again.

So, Why did you cheat?


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