# How to re-propose to wife?



## OrbitGum

Hello everyone. I could use some advice on proposing or, re-proposing rather. I've been happily married for almost two years, but my proposal sucked. Here's a quick recap:

The plan:
My wife didn't want it to be a public thing. We had picked out the rings already, but she wanted the proposal to be a surprise. It was mid-November. We went on a weekend vacation to a large city. My plan was to go to a nice dinner at one of four restaurants downtown (near a certain famous fountain). On our walk from the restaurant to see Wicked, I was going to pop the question. The fountain was lit up with white lights for the holidays and it was supposed to be romantic.

What actually happened:
We both knew I was going to propose on this trip. It was the elephant in the room the whole time. My wife was tired and hungry by the time we got to the hotel, and wanted to go to the nearest nice restaurant. She's stubborn and there was no changing her mind. At that point my plan was botched and I would think of something on the fly. After dinner we cabbed it to the theater. After the show we walked back to the hotel, but it was a little cold and drizzling. I decided to just wait and do it the next day. She hates surprises and couldn't enjoy the trip because all she was thinking about was the proposal. We were going to bed and she got upset thinking I didn't have a plan. I got defensive. It was a small quick fight. It was awkward for a few minutes. I felt I had to propose right then because things would only escalate and the fight would get bigger tomorrow. I grabbed the ring, went around to her side of the bed, got on one knee, spoke from the heart and proposed. She cried and felt bad that she ruined it. It was a bad memory for a proposal. 

Every time we hear proposal stories from friends or family, she brings up how much hers sucked. She wants me to propose again. I think it's weird because we've been married two years, but it's what she wants. I'm not sure what she's looking for or expecting, but I can't screw up this next one.

My idea was to take a day off work. Surprise her with a trail of tea lights and rose petals from the door to the dining room and the spare bedroom. She'll see the dinner I cooked in the dining room, then head to the bedroom. In there I'll spell out "will you marry me?" in tea lights. I'll propose. Then we'll eat. Does that sound corny? Romantic?

Any ideas or advice?


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## justean

my advice she doesnt sound greatful enough . 

but think about what she likes. dont make it sound as if its something you would like, or she wil probably blame u mercilessly for your entire life together.

i got proposed to in the fridge section of our local supermarket.
might sound like a bad memory proposal. but i havent forgotten it.

i think personally your idea sounds corny. especially when she is more expecting of you taking her up the eiffel tower or something.


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## TNgirl232

I agree with justean about the grateful part. If you were doing this because YOU thought of it that would be different. IMHO - redoing it isn't going to erase the first memory...are you guys going to follow up a romatic proposal story you heard with "oh yeah, our first one was so bad we redid it years later" and then tell how you re-proposed?


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## revitalizedhusband

Yeah, I agree with the 2 women, she doesn't sound grateful at all.

She ruined the original proposal and now is wanting you do propse again because her's "sucked"?

TNgirl is right too, if you had thought of this as a way to show her you'd still marry her all over again, etc then that would be romantic.

However, her basically telling you she wants you to proprose again is very anti-romance, its robotic. 

No way I'd even do this if my wife wanted me to "re-propose".


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## dcrim

Yes, ungrateful.

But you say she hates surprises...as soon as she sees the tea lites, she'll know what it's about. 

But she wants to be surprised by it. 

She can't have it both ways. You already did propose and "she messed it up"...well, too bad. It's done and you're married. 

I might suggest, instead, a surprise anniversary outing. Plan a weekend completely away from home and friends. Find a nice little B&B and stay the weekend. Go for some nature hikes, bum around town, antique stores, whatever she's interested in. 

You can't change the memory, but you can make better ones.


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## revitalizedhusband

dcrim, exactly is all I have to say about your post.

Might I even suggest...

Bed and Breakfasts are a GREAT surprise anniversary trip, I've taken my wife to a couple over the years for B-days or anniversaries.

Great suggestion, women ALWAYS love them.


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## Sensitive

A proposal is a once in a lifetime thing. Trying to re-enact one is sort of reliving the past, and she will always want something better. I hope you can keep the romance alive, as the marriage is still so young.

BTW, my husband botched his first proposal, as we had a fight, and he just waited until our next date night instead. He never got on one knee, but he did prepare a little speech and had tealights everywhere. He played a few tunes on his sax in a parking garage. It was his best attempt at romance ever.


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