# What the !?!?



## gearhead65 (Aug 25, 2011)

I NEED some help. The dominos keep falling. 6-8 Weeks ago after finding out about the affair I decided to get out and hang out with a friend for a guys night out. Cried over my beer and spilled my guts about the whole situation. The guy is the spouse of one of my wife's friends and one of the only friends I have in town. He and his wife had their 3rd child a few weeks ago and the WS and I go to see the new baby. After that I haven't seen him or heard from him or his wife since. 

Today while I was out of town I decided to elliminate facebook from our house because of all the trouble it caused. I'm an IT guy and we have a lot of tech in the house so this is an easy matter for me to accomplish. I log in change a few settings and bravo no facebook in the house until I decide. WS furthered the relationship with the OM on facebook. She's also watching kids in our home, but spending too much time logged in and not enough with them. 

This evening I get a call from the friend's wife. She's upset. She is asking me if I had asked her husband to do anything for me. I said no. She said that her husband and WS had been talking a lot lately. I told her the truth. That I knew nothing of it, that I'm a friend of their marriage and that I think they are great together. I told her that I haven't needed anything from him other than someone to talk to occasionally. She said thanks. I asked her what this was all about and she said that she didn't want to drag me into their issues, but that he wasn't welcome in their home right now.

My mind is racing. I'm wondering if there is another OM in the picture. I'm very upset and I call my wife. I ask her why she has been talking to our friend's husband. I told her that her friend had just called me upset asking about her and him talking. I wanted to know what was going on. She said that she had a late night chat session with him yesterday and that he go very explicit asking about pornography and saying he thought they had a "connection" when he came over to see me, but that I was out of town. I asked if anything had happened and she said no that our kids were home. I asked why she was messaging him late at night. She said that it didn't seem like a big deal and he was jus asking questions and she was answering them. Then he had asked to come over. She became very uncomfortable and got off the chat session on facebook.

She then calls her best friend and asked her what she should do. She said that she needed to let the wife know what was going on. So she called her and spilled the situation with her and I and what her husband had done. She accused me of "Putting him up to it to entrap me!" ? OK Then she mentioned not being able to get on facebook. I told her that with all the issues it has caused I didn't want it in my house. So I took care of it. She said that this was very convienent because that was when she was trying to send the chat log to her friend. Saying that I have cameras, recorders, stuff on her computer still, or phone. None of that is true. I told her that she was being crazy and parinoid and that I'm still interested in saving our marriage not doing anything like that.

I'm frazzled after the call/fight. I can't even begin to think about the pain his wife must be in with 2 kids and a new born. My heart goes out to her. I'm SO pissed at him. I can't begin to express my anger and frustration. I trusted him with my problem and he tried to use it to his advantage. I don't know where to go from here with any of them. I need some help sorting this out.

GearHead


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

That just blows my mind, I am so sorry man. 

Wow. Where the hell does your "friend" get off going after your wife, after you tell him all that's happened between you two, and clearly he knew how hurt you were. That is a beast not of this world.


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## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear that..wow
with friends like that who needs enemies...unfortunately there are a few out there like that...I have first hand experience...I didn't actually go to the dude but the wife did..he knew we were having problems, he was like a shark in bloody waters. He was a former boss of mine whom I worked my *@%# off for...He is a real scum bag..


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Cut that dude out of your life and tell him why.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

Dang, bro! I'm sorry to hear that. This one sounds like the dude was the problem, not your wife. The story sounds legit to me. He was a bastard for trying to cash in on your rough time. I don't believe she should have been doing the late night chat thing, but it is plausible that she would respond to his chat if she was already on there. You just went to see them and their new baby, so maybe he started off with that. 

I know that don't help too much. Your friend that you confided in betrayed you. Your wife still has OM down the street, but I don't think she is branching out into OM2. When do you come back into town? If you're back in time, I plan to hit those free long-necks Thursday night. If not, maybe one night next week.

Hang in there. We'll get through this mess.


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