# How can I fix this?



## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

I'm really not sure how to start this, so I'll just dive in and if anyone has questions or needs more info just ask. 

My GF and I have an amazing, intimate, loving sex life. But I have a hard time getting off in missionary position. It's very easy from behind and pretty easy if she's on top.

Here's the problem and I kinda knew this was comming. This weekend she asked me if I had had this problem in the past. I haven't. Of course this upset her. She thinks it's looking at her that's the problem but it's really just a matter of stimulation. 

There's a couple of things going on here. The stimulation just isn't there. Sometimes, I'll get close, but I either get tired or start thinking it's taking too long or wondering if she's comfortable. 

Anyway, I guess if anyone has any suggestions on a position that might provide better stimulation, we've tried I think it's called coital alignment or clitoral alignment and that works pretty good. Any other ideas?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The alignment thing works for her - it probably won't do anything for you. Different women feel different, and stimulation in some positions work better with one than another. 

Typical missionary has you between her legs. Instead, put one of your legs outside one of hers. That increases the pressue because of the angle change, and because her legs are closer together than typical missionary. It doesn't work for everyone, of course, and things may not fit right if either of you has thick thighs.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

If you haven't already, here are a few things to try;

try going completely in and then out. the male organ is very sensitive at the tip. try using that tip to rub at the surface of her.

another thing is, try if it is comfortable for her to enter her earlier when she is not so moist yet. that will create for friction for you to be able to finish.

one last thing i can think of, have her stimulate you more, closer to coming before you enter, so you are more ready to come.

heck, i'm no expert, but it seems to work.

good luck


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Yes, the angle has a lot to do with it. I think that's why the alignment thing works, it allows me to go higher up without slipping out. 

Also, any ideas on reasuring her. I figured if I just started gettin it that way, it would work itself out? Any women ever had a situation like this. How did it make you feel? What did you need your man to do to make it right?


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Yes, I have the solution for you:

The butterfly position or modified missionary
sex position: the butterfly

"With the woman on her back and her hips on the edge of the bed, the man penetrates her while standing. She then puts her legs over his shoulders and tilts her hips slightly upwards. This gives a wonderful angle for cervical stimulation with deep penetration that can produce some intense vaginal and uterine orgasms. With more shallow penetration, a man can stimulate the anterior vaginal wall to hit the G-spot."

You may need a higher bed and or firmer mattress. 

It is a win/win. The guy is in a position to watch, not trying to balance or hold himself up, you have much more control of how far you go out and the pace.

My wife really likes a slow start so I just go in until I can feel that first muscle contract and just push on it a bit. She also likes all the way out and back in. 

Her muscles have really built up in the past 10 years this way. Her response makes it much more exciting for me.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I Don't Know said:


> Yes, the angle has a lot to do with it. I think that's why the alignment thing works, it allows me to go higher up without slipping out.
> 
> Also, any ideas on reasuring her. I figured if I just started gettin it that way, it would work itself out? Any women ever had a situation like this. How did it make you feel? What did you need your man to do to make it right?


Do you talk to each other and stay connected during sex?

My husband and I both know what is going on for the other at all times during sex because we are always expressing ourselves through noises and words. If you become detached because you are "trying to concentrate" or whatever, your wife won't know what is going on for you.

If we are in an angle that isn't working for one of us, we say something and then switch things up.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

usmarriedguy said:


> Yes, I have the solution for you:
> 
> The butterfly position or modified missionary
> sex position: the butterfly
> ...


Yes! It's almost like my penis needs to be at a 90 degree angle to my body in order to finish. So I really believe this would work. We've done almost that, but with me kneeling instead of standing and that works. But my hips get very stiff after a while. Yeah I'm old. But standing could be the answer.



Faithful Wife said:


> Do you talk to each other and stay connected during sex?
> 
> My husband and I both know what is going on for the other at all times during sex because we are always expressing ourselves through noises and words. If you become detached because you are "trying to concentrate" or whatever, your wife won't know what is going on for you.
> 
> If we are in an angle that isn't working for one of us, we say something and then switch things up.


Yes, we're both very present when we're intimate. Lots of vocalizations, kissing, looking, touching. I know she's hurt by this, although she says she's over it, she feels like I CAN'T look at her and get off. Nothing could be further from the truth.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

You will be able to make her know this, then. Just stay connected and keep letting her know. You will find the best positions and work with them.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

"Yeah I'm old. But standing could be the answer."

Yes that is me too. Started preferring this position at about age 45 it is much more comfortable and allows me to concentrate on the act and not be distracted. 

I built our bed specially for us so that I can stand at the height I want which makes for an unusually high bed.


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