# Moving in to a new Place with my GF



## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

So, my gf moved in with me in July of 13 after a year of dating, so my 1 bed apartment was a little tight for us we have made the best of it.

Well we have found a really cool 3 bed place so my family can come stay with us when they fly in from the UK. 
In my marriage i was walked over i was a doormat when it came to the decor in the house, 

It was awful. If i had ideas of what furniture i wanted it was shot down with that would look awful what are you blind and stupid lol, well i stopped trying and just let my exw buy what ever she wanted because i could not deal with the fights and being put down. 

Well after being divorced and having my own place for a while and making the decisions, this weekend we argued over a few things in the new place decor wise i was triggering bad and talked to my gf about it and had to admit to myself that i was being like i was because of my previous marriage and how i was treated. i was really glad i recognized this trigger and i am able to now deal with it and make the new relationship better because of it. 

Has anyone else had this happen to them with a new partner?


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Not over furniture. But my ex had a terrible temper and was abusive. A new guy was over and was helping with a home improvement project and hit his head really hard, cutting it and let out a string of profanities of the likes I had never heard from him. I curled up and cringed inside - it took me back to the days when I cowered at ex's tirades for fear of him striking out.

Note that this guy would NEVER raise a hand to me and knew my history, but I flinched nonetheless. Without a word I just went (rather meekly) inside to get a cold, wet paper towel to wipe his head and a bandaid. Later he complimented the way I handled it.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Yes I have had triggers stemming from my past marriage that have shown up in my relationship with Mr H. It has been an interesting ride for both of us as he has his own issues from the past.

I am really happy with how we both handle these situations, yes we are stronger because of it all. There have been a couple of times where I tried to just end it all instead of having to face the issues but we seem to be able to work together through it all.

It has so far been a journey of self discovery and bonding for us. The most important thing for Mr H and I has been to learn about how each of us handles these situations, give each other the space, love and support needed then to move on even stronger than before.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

That is so nice to read. Two mature people expressing themselves without the other party freaking out and trying to shame and blame them for having triggers. 

Understanding why the other person acted like they did without taking it personally.


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