# I've posted this elsewhere but would like additional input!!



## sweetheart001 (Dec 17, 2012)

Really quick--

My bf's birthday is coming up soon.. He initially planned to have dinner with family including me.. and then he wanted to go out after which I said I wanted to as well.. He recently expressed to me over the holidays that I was not invited and that it's "his birthday and he wants to do what he wants to do".. 

He now plans to have dinner with me and his family then late at night go out with a group of guys. I'm totally offended . He wants me to just be at the family portion of his day.. We've been together over 2 years...Is this normal for a relationship and a long term one at that... I just broke it off with him.. Am I making the right decision? (I would like to hear from as many perspectives as possible) Men!!!! your input would be greatly appreciated. Best


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

"his birthday and he wants to do what he wants to do".. LOL - I guess that now also includes sex!

Seriously though, he sounds very selfish and self-centerd. I think you did the right thing!


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

Yes, you did the right thing.......something's going on with the 'guys' that he doesn't want you to be a part of. Him picking the 'guys' over you tells you where you are in his priorities. Better to find out now then later when you're married w/kids.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

sweetheart001 said:


> Really quick--
> 
> My bf's birthday is coming up soon.. He initially planned to have dinner with family including me.. and then he wanted to go out after which I said I wanted to as well.. He recently expressed to me over the holidays that I was not invited and that it's "his birthday and he wants to do what he wants to do"..
> 
> He now plans to have dinner with me and his family then late at night go out with a group of guys. I'm totally offended . He wants me to just be at the family portion of his day.. We've been together over 2 years...Is this normal for a relationship and a long term one at that... I just broke it off with him.. Am I making the right decision? (I would like to hear from as many perspectives as possible) Men!!!! your input would be greatly appreciated. Best


He does sound selfish. How has the relationship been for the past 2 years? If it is strong, he should want to spend time with you! That being said, there are times for guys night out..and ladies night out in a healthy relationship. I would pull back and see how he reacts. Will you see him for New Years?


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

Girls will act differently when guys are around. Not talk about what they want stuff like that. The same with guys. Does he do guys night out a lot or is it the occasional thing? My sister, our friend and I have a girls night out occasionally. We go to a nice restaurant have a nice dinner and drink martinis. Complain about our kids, husbands, jobs. Give each other advice and just listen to each other. Then we go home. We wouldn't be as free with our conversations if a man where around. Where is he planning to go for guys night out? Is it with a bunch of single guys?


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I agree with the above poster - that a girls night out or a boys night out isn't the same with a boy or girl present. I think birthdays are special and if you were planning/hoping to spend the day with him, then it is a bummer that he'll be going out for more fun without you.

I think a lot also has to do with how old you are and how long you are together. I would think a younger person is still into partying and hanging out more. I think if you were married for 10 years and secure in your relationship, and your husband wanted to go out at night after a family night out, you might say, "go out. have fun. enjoy yourself."

Not sure if that helps.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I have to update this because I've been thinking about it. I would not be happy, whether I'm with the guy a few years or a few decades. I'm with my husband for 30 years and I always plan a dinner out. If he told me that after our dinner out, he was going to hang out with his friends, I would be bent out of shape. I would think he should have a b-day night out with his friends another night.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

Depends on what the guys are all doing. If they are out fishing or playing paintball I'd say no problem, but if he is clubbing or going to a strip joint then I'd be pissed.


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

I am kind of going through this. I don't like/approve/am disgusted by some things he does w/ his friends that I want no part of. He is going out w/ some of his friends who plan on giving him an R-rated and X-rated birthday celebration. 

I think that could be what is going on w/ your guy. Do you really want to accompany him to a strip club w/ broads grinding on him and perhaps more?

I applaud you. You certainly have more gumption than I do at the moment. People usually don't change who they are. Ask him what they are doing. If he doesn't even want to tell you, then you KNOW you did the right thing.

God bless!


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