# i think i might be done



## momotaro (Feb 17, 2016)

i'm not sure if i am posting this in the right place, mods feel free to move it if i got it wrong. 

holy smokes where to begin?

we've been married 9 years. when i met her, the kids were just little 'uns. i am not from this country, i came here because she has 2 kids from a previous marriage. i thought, i have a trade, moving will be easier for me than they, and it doesn't take the kids from their father.

the first 3 years or so, we struggled against her ex influencing the kids against me. it was very difficult. we also had problems with my immigration, so financially, things have been really tough. i have tried really hard to be good to these kids. i get along pretty well with my step daughter. i know that she mostly tolerates me, but she's pleasant and polite. i can deal with that. i love her but i don't need her tyo love me back. 
the son is a mama's boy. he's going to be the deciding factor if i stay or go. i've decided not to be here for our 10th anniversary if we can't fix this.
it started out with the c*ck blocking. *every single time* we would begin to fool around, the boy would cry and come into the room and interrupt. it got to the point where i just stopped having sex. that was 6 or 7 years ago. well, i suppose most of you can guess what happens to a relationship that's constantly strained. i don't want to live in a country where i have no ties, in a crappy marriage, and be poor on top of all that. i always feel like the odd one here, as they are all close, and these days, i don't feel close to anyone. anyhow, these days, the boy is 19. he is applying for colleges. HE NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE. except to go to school.
he has no friends, and no girlfriend. he had a couple of bad experiences and now he avoids the rejection by never going anywhere. he doesn't look at me, he doesn't talk to me. he resents me. most of the attitude is because he has heard his mother and i argue, and he doesn't like me raising my voice to her. most of the time, we argue, it's about him. when there is a problem, she insists on going between us instead of me dealing with him directly. i don't feel my relationship with his mother is any of his business. i'm tired of being in a marriage with no sex. i'm tired of his attitude. i don't get it. every good thing he has and loves, he has because *I* made sure he had it. me. not his father, me. i would rather spend that money on other stuff if he isn't going to appreciate me for it. he is otherwise a great kid. never in trouble, gets good grades, amazingly talented artist. he's tall and good looking and smart. i don't know why there aren't girls chasing him home from school. well, other than him being so afraid of being rejected he refuses to even think of dating, or even having friends. i have asked his mother to get him some help. she won't do it unless he agrees. i don't want him here at all if this is how it's going to be. i do more for him than my own sons. anyhow, i don't know what to do. i don't know how to fix it, or even of it's worth fixing. i feel stuck here. 
there's nothing left for me back in my old country. my old friends and contacts have all moved on. i'm not real thrilled about the idea of starting over again at my age. but i don't want to live like this anymore. i want to sit the boy down when his mother isn't home, and tell him his mother deserves to have a relationship free of his meddling. that she deserves to be treated like a woman, but there's no chance of that when he's never out of the house. i want to say "hey! i worked really hard to treat you as well as i have, and i think i deserve a little respect, after all, i don't owe you anything". i wish he would go live with his father, but his father is a loser and lives with relatives.

i have talked to his mother till i'm blue in the face. it's no kinda life for that boy to not have friends or a girlfriend, all because he got hurt _one time_. at this time in his life, he should know adventure and romance. he should be making memories and friendships he'll carry throughout his life. instead, he puts himself in a prison of his own making. bad for him, bad for us. i just don't know what to do. all i know is, i can't live this life much longer.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Ok, so you're complaining about him living in a prison of his own making, yet you've had a sexless marriage for 7 years? Pot, meet kettle.

You have allowed all this to happen. Tell her how things are going to be, and if she can't straighten up, leave her. You should have done this years ago. 

You don't think she would like to have a peaceful home with good sex????

Be firm, show love and strength. Of you have to divorce, what are you losing? Take a stand.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

So what is he doesn't have a girlfriend or friends? He doesn't need help. My son doesn't have a girlfriend at age 20 because he is busy at college. What does that have to do with your sexless marriage? At 19 he knows not to go into your bedroom if you and your wife are being intimate. It sounds like he will be leaving for college anyway. You let this go on for so many years instead of showing authority and telling his not to come into your bedroom. He doesn't need to be out of the house for you to talk to his Mom. Start seducing your wife and being intimate again, whether her son is in the house or not.


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