# Low sex drive wife not interested in orgasms



## wnt2wrkonit (Aug 26, 2011)

This is my first time postiing and hoping to gain some insight into my wife, my marriage and my marital issues. I am very happily married man for over 15 years. Happy in every aspect of marriage except for sex.
I was always the more sexually adventerous of the two and a higher sex drive but the gap has only gotten wider over the past few yrs. We have 4 wonderful children and that has certainly changes things however I am still incredibly attracted to her and find her very sexy although she is insecure about her own body and sexual prowress. 
I am always in the mood and pride myself on being a "pleaser". That said, little seems to turn her on or interest her. I will try my best to satisfy her every way I can but she seems more interested in "getting it over with" more than anything. Nothing is more disappointing than being in "mid fun" and being told "you can do something, dont hold back".
From what she tells me, and I do not doubt - she does not masturbate or please herself, she never has, nor does she feel comfortable talking about sex and/or our sex life with me.
So back to the title of my post... what does one do when a wife has a low sex drive and does not seem to be interested in her own sexual pleasure??


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Depending on how old your wife is she may be going through premenopause. Although my wife still enjoyed sex she was finding it hard to achieve orgasm. I posted on TAM and was directed to Official Web Site of John R. Lee, M.D. and told to get his book _What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause_. He also has a book for younger women (age 30-50) _What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About PREmenopause_.

If her difficulty is because her attraction to you is gone then I would suggest you look at Married Man Sex Life

These are two things that come to mind right off the bat.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

wnt2wrkonit said:


> So back to the title of my post... what does one do when a wife has a low sex drive and does not seem to be interested in her own sexual pleasure??


Hi wnt2 ~

Do you know what she IS interested in? What, to her, is what sexual pleasure is to you? I think you should see if you can find that out if you are unsure.

The thing is, she needs to be willing to participate and meet you halfway in order for this to all work. She needs to work on her own issues, as well. Is she willing to do this? Does she see a problem like you do? Have you ever articulated how you feel about this to her?

You mention that you have four children. How old is the youngest? Any babies/toddlers? Is she a SAHM or does she work outside the home?

Does she get time away on her own? How much time does she get by herself? How much time do you two get alone as a couple? If she is getting little to no time on her own or with just you, she could be seriously burned out, and it may take some juggling in your schedules and such to try and alleviate that.

Best wishes.


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