# Multiple orgasms



## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

First off, I want to thank the folks here on TAM for their feedback not only to me, but others that have helped me immensely. I spend a lot of time in lurk mode, reading and learning. I have read the "5 love languages" book, "Sheet Music" as well as NMMNG the MMSLP and am working through "His Needs, Her Needs." Many of these books I never knew about and they have helped me view myself, my wife and our almost 30 year marriage through a much, much different lens. Who says old dogs can't learn new tricks? 

From these multiple sources of information, I have been working on improving myself...losing weight, dressing better and being more attentive to her primary love language which is Acts of Service. I have several projects in progress which I call "PDP" for "Panty Dropping Projects" that I feel good about just because they make me feel better about myself and that I'm "doing" something.

A few months ago, I screwed up my courage enough to have "the talk" and man, her reaction has hit me like a ton of bricks. She said she has noticed my improvement and liked it! We were able to be candid with each other for the first time in our marriage concerning frequency of sex, intimacy and things in general but most of all COMMUNICATION. It seems that we were both jumping to conclusions about each other and that had things all mixed up and confused.

Since then, it's almost as if someone pressed a "horny" button on/in my wife. I went from once every two weeks to almost once per day (sometimes twice!). Still all very vanilla, but I'm not going to complain. 

One thing that I would like to explore with her is how to get her to have multiple orgasms. I have read that women in general are capable of multiples, but I've learned to take things that I read in books with a grain of salt. So what I would like to know is how common is it that a particular woman can experience this? Is this something that most women desire or try to acheive? Is this something I should even bring up?

Mrs. Micawber has always been a "one and done" kinda girl and I would love to guide her into another mindset but I don't know how to go about it. She almost always has an orgasm when we have sex, either PIV or manual, so I know she can have at least one. Any help would be appreciated.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Love the "panty dropping projects" term!!! I'm far too easy! That's my problem....

So multiples for your wife. You really need to let her be the guide and drive for this. If she wants them, absolutely try for it. But if she is convinced she is a one and done girl, there isn't much you can do convince her otherwise. There is nothing more annoying that your man insisting you have an orgasm when you DONT want one.

How common? Have no idea. I will say among my women friends who talk openly about sex, I'm the only one easily multiply orgasmic and one other can do multiples on occasion but not frequently, the rest are one and done. So, there's that.

Bring it up with her and see if she is open to trying. If she is, this isn't a mechanical recipe to follow. You'll have to continue to build arousal pretty high before you even get the first one and then keep building arousal for the second. So the mood and tone of the sex really needs to be something that totally pushes her buttons.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

We goal-oriented men cannot easily fathom that a person who could have more and more pleasure would opt to not have it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

michzz said:


> We goal-oriented men cannot easily fathom that a person who could have more and more pleasure would opt to not have it.


Can't say you're wrong in thinking that.but most women know their bodies pretty well so it's unlikely you're gonna surprise her with another one...


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

michzz said:


> We goal-oriented men cannot easily fathom that a person who could have more and more pleasure would opt to not have it.





Anon Pink said:


> Can't say you're wrong in thinking that.but most women know their bodies pretty well so it's unlikely you're gonna surprise her with another one...


I agree!

My current wife is multi-orgasmic IF she gets through sensitivity issues in having the second one. Once she does? 3-6 is typical. Give or take.

If she doesn't? Dead stop at 1.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Oh, my only issue with my wife having multiple orgasms? She wants us to consider buying acoustic curtains like the ones I have in my music studio.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Ikaika said:


> Oh, my only issue with my wife having multiple orgasms? She wants us to consider buying acoustic curtains like the ones I have in my music studio.


You do live on a tropical island, windows open, tropical breezes, sun shinning.... by the way, I hate you right about now


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

wait? there are women who don't have multiples?!


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Since your wife seems to be vaginally orgasmic, if she is on board with trying as AP suggests...

Get her there using whatever other method of choice works for you two. When she is bucking, panting and begging for you to "put it in" ignore those instructions for a bit to get her over the top so to speak, THEN proceed as normal. Take her lead but you may need to be pretty gentle for a while and see where things go. Once that first one is out of the way you may find 1 to a few more in a relatively reasonable amount of time. 

Or she may be for mercy and push you off, don't know if you don't try.


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## Green Eyes (Nov 20, 2014)

anonmd said:


> Since your wife seems to be vaginally orgasmic, if she is on board with trying as AP suggests...
> 
> Get her there using whatever other method of choice works for you two. roceWhen she is bucking, panting and begging for you to "put it in" ignore those instructions for a bit to get her over the top so to speak, THEN ped as normal. Take her lead but you may need to be pretty gentle for a while and see where things go. Once that first one is out of the way you may find 1 to a few more in a relatively reasonable amount of time.
> 
> Or she may be for mercy and push you off, don't know if you don't try.


This method works in our house.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If she's capable of multiples, HOW to get her there can depend on how she responds to the first, and may even change from one time to another. I think many women are too sensitive after the first to continue immediately, but may be able to stand very, very - very! - slow and gentle feather-touch indirect stimulation. (I have had that work on some supposedly one-and-done women.) Or she may need a break before resuming, probably with very light stimuation. Others may be able to just power through the first and keep on going, but if she were that type, you'd have probably seen that already.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anon and Happy have some really good insight on this.

Mrs. Conan has extremely explosive and hard core orgasms that rock her whole body, it is actually physically hard for her to go through that process too close together.

If I am very careful and attentive, she can have more than one.

The most she has ever had was three and she was no damn good to the world, or aware of it, for the next 12 or so hours.

If you approach her first O very gently and carefully, she might not be too sensitive for you to , gently, continue to work her up.

A "state" of high, consistent arousal is necessary for her to achieve more than one.

I do this orally so it is quite doable as long as I am patient and attentive.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> You do live on a tropical island, windows open, tropical breezes, sun shinning.... by the way, I hate you right about now



Hey, it's 22 C here at present and for us that is cold. . End thread Jack


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Really really hating right now....


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Really really hating right now....



Oh well another night, tonight of multiple orgasms... Hawaiians, just how we role. . I haven't heard my wife complain yet, even the other night when I woke her up at 2am


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Love the "panty dropping projects" term!!! I'm far too easy! That's my problem....
> 
> Something I came up with. I usually just say "I'm going to go work on my PDP." I haven't told her yet what that means.
> 
> ...


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

michzz said:


> We goal-oriented men cannot easily fathom that a person who could have more and more pleasure would opt to not have it.


Kinda leaves me scratching my head as well. :scratchhead:


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


> wait? there are women who don't have multiples?!


Unfortunately, yes. Mrs. Micawber is one of them. Not into oral to completion either, only one position, stay on script.

Don't get me wrong. This late burst in her libido is certainly welcome. I'd just like to slowly get out of the routine we're in...and I think we're on the right track. Slow and steady wins the race.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

If she has never considered going for a second orgasm it is probably wise to discuss this with her first. Tell her Pink said she should try it 

Every woman is different so it depends greatly on the amount of pressure and friction she needs to orgasm. It might be possible to raise her arousal level so high before you touch her clit that she doesn't need too much stim? Maybe... The other thought I had is to make sure she is super lubricated so the friction can be felt without irritation. And finally, a little rest after she orgasms so that she doesn't become over stimulated. 

Does she ever use a vibrator? I rarely do because the stimulation is too much for me, too intense and once it gets to too intense it is no longer enjoyable. This is why she has to be on board to try it. You're going to need her feed back so you can get her off with as little stimulation as possible in order to go for number 2.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

micawber said:


> Unfortunately, yes. Mrs. Micawber is one of them. Not into oral to completion either, only one position, stay on script.
> 
> Don't get me wrong. This late burst in her libido is certainly welcome. I'd just like to slowly get out of the routine we're in...and I think we're on the right track. Slow and steady wins the race.


I think you have a great attitude! Not into oral to completion? &#55357;&#56862; 

That would put me in a bind. Oral is about 75% of my game.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Forgot to add to continue to build arousal stimulate her brain. Give her mind pictures of things and situations she finds erotic. Talk her through her building arousal.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

anonmd said:


> Since your wife seems to be vaginally orgasmic, if she is on board with trying as AP suggests...
> 
> Get her there using whatever other method of choice works for you two. When she is bucking, panting and begging for you to "put it in" ignore those instructions for a bit to get her over the top so to speak, THEN proceed as normal. Take her lead but you may need to be pretty gentle for a while and see where things go. Once that first one is out of the way you may find 1 to a few more in a relatively reasonable amount of time.
> 
> Or she may be for mercy and push you off, don't know if you don't try.


Getting her bucking and panting and begging is not a problem. It's just getting her to _agree_ to going over the edge. She normally doesn't want to experience it without me inside her, then she's done. But it's worth a shot.



Married but Happy said:


> If she's capable of multiples, HOW to get her there can depend on how she responds to the first, and may even change from one time to another. I think many women are too sensitive after the first to continue immediately, but may be able to stand very, very - very! - *slow and gentle feather-touch indirect stimulation*. (I have had that work on some supposedly one-and-done women.) Or she may need a break before resuming, probably with very light stimuation. Others may be able to just power through the first and keep on going, but if she were that type, you'd have probably seen that already.


Where?

Sorry if I seem a bit dense in this dept. I have an idea about what you mean, but I want to hear some suggestions.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

micawber said:


> Getting her bucking and panting and begging is not a problem. It's just getting her to _agree_ to going over the edge. She normally doesn't want to experience it without me inside her, then she's done. But it's worth a shot.
> .


This is a full stop.

She doesn't want the focus on her and it will take a lot of talking before she will likely be comfortable enough to try it.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I think you have a great attitude! Not into oral to completion? ��
> 
> That would put me in a bind. Oral is about 75% of my game.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She is very conservative and considers this _cheating_ me out of my pleasure because she knows she is one and done.

I've explained time and again how happy it would make me to watch/feel her explode when I'm down there making it happen. I can always finish up some other way, but she hasn't taken me up on it up till now.

I think a large part of it goes back to when we weren't having sex as often and she didn't want to hear about having it again so soon if I didn't get mine. We've talked about our mutual orgasms per session and now it doesn't seem as important as long as we know that there will be another opportunity soon. Perhaps after this new frequency become more the norm, I will ask her if she wants to try for it.


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## Green Eyes (Nov 20, 2014)

If she's super sensitive then don't stimulate her clit directly. Stimulate the side of it, slowly and gently with your fingers. Direct stimulation on top, even lightly, is too much for me after the first O. I know you said she doesn't like oral to completion, but try oral in between manual stimulation to give her a little break from the intensity between the manual O's.

I have to be highly aroused for this to work so this isn't the time for quickies. Pay attention to how she communicates with you while you're doing this both verbally and with her physical response. My husband has learned when to ignore my demands for PIV and when he really needs to respond to those demands.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

Thank you all for your insight. I've really learned a great deal about what to look for and how to go about it.

This new willingness on the part of Mrs. Micawber with regards to frequency is still blowing my mind and it's quite a bit to get used to. One question I've been turning over in my mind is "Has my technique suffered due to our previous frequency?" By that I mean perhaps knowing that the bus is at the station now, and not knowing when another is going to come along, I'd better get on the bus and enjoy the ride. Perhaps that had caused us to fall into a predictable pattern of lovemaking, that excluded opportunities to explore multiples. She was (and still is) interested in making sure I get mine and then she got her's and then we were done for some unpredictable amount of time.

With the increase in frequency, it should allow for us to explore each others responses without fear of missing the bus. Yet another benefit of having sex more often!


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

one orgasm is usally just a warm up for me. 2-4 on average, often more. Once I hit ten as DIY, but that was very special occassion, and trying something completely new for me....


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Ok, what does DIY mean?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Do It Yourself. masturbation.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

ah, so many acronyms!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

WandaJ said:


> one orgasm is usally just a warm up for me. 2-4 on average, often more. Once I hit ten as DIY, but that was very special occassion, and trying something completely new for me....


Besides hitting a high number, what was special about the occasion that allowed you to get there?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

micawber said:


> Where?
> 
> Sorry if I seem a bit dense in this dept. I have an idea about what you mean, but I want to hear some suggestions.


Around her clitoris, not on it. Indirect stimulation until she can handle that again.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

So, with regards to this indirect stimulation, I noticed last night after Mrs. Micawber woke me up from a dead sleep after having a many more adult beverages than I should have...she mangaged to get hers after a longer than usual PIV session. (missionary, in case that matters) Nothing spectacular, but she didn't complain.  I stopped thrusting and just slowed it waaayy down and let her relax a bit before I very slowly started moving again. She seemed to be getting into it so I started moving a little faster and just kept at it. I could feel and hear her respond in a positive way so perhaps this is what I'm looking for? Have any of you approached it this way?

She probably would have been up for continuing but I was exhausted and due to the alcohol, was not going to get there so I stopped. Got to stop drinking so much and work out more if this is ever going to happen. :lol:

Baby steps.


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## mitchell (May 19, 2014)

Now that you've opened the door with communication, why don't you ask her why she doesn't let you give her oral to completion? 

My wife does not have orgasms from PIV alone, but she can have multiples if I get her there first with oral and follow up with PIV. She is usually quaking at that point and can have several more good O's before I get mine.


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## tommyr (May 25, 2014)

michzz said:


> We goal-oriented men cannot easily fathom that a person who could have more and more pleasure would opt to not have it.


Amen to that! Along these same lines: why would anybody specifically choose NOT to have sex when all conditions would allow/encourage it?
Do some people actually perceive there to be some kind of "hidden cost" to having sex? 
Or to orgasms in general? 
Or to multiple orgasms? 
What is this cost exactly?


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

michzz said:


> Besides hitting a high number, what was special about the occasion that allowed you to get there?


that's secret


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

tommyr said:


> Amen to that! Along these same lines: why would anybody specifically choose NOT to have sex when all conditions would allow/encourage it?
> Do some people actually perceive there to be some kind of "hidden cost" to having sex?
> Or to orgasms in general?
> Or to multiple orgasms?
> What is this cost exactly?


I think I am discovering the issue with your questions.

In early Perimenopause my libido was Out Of Control! I was like a 17 year old boy, I wanted it all the time, could not get enough, always on my mind! Sitting in a business meeting if a man was standing I checked out his trousers, not because I wanted to have sex with him, but because I wanted to have SEX! What was he packing? Was he any good? How long can he last?

Now things have calmed down considerably, thank goodness! The result is that sex between H and I is always on the table but sometimes it's not on my mind, and a few times in just wasn't interested. However, because of the habit of being open to sex there is no push and pull pressure to feel something I don't. I just go with it and ALWAYS a end up aroused.

So I think the key is that women who frequently are feeling pressured to be aroused are turning themselves away from allowing themselves to respond. I think if more couples could talk openly, without making each other feel demonized for wanting it or not, but to try to come to a place where they both are purposefully opening themselves to becoming aroused even if they are starting in a completely cold place.

I think the same could be applied to one and done women. If they can simply open themselves to willing to try, to giving feedback if something isn't working, I think more women could be multiorgasmic.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

It happened!! We did it! I don't know who was happier, she or I? 

I was away on business all last week and she was sick for some of the week prior to me going away so it's been over a week since we've been able to get together. I came home yesterday and was really trying to wait until the evening when she decided she wanted a nap. She usually takes a nap in the afternoon so that's not an issue. I was so worked up though that I couldn't wait any longer and I just got in the bed with her and made it clear what was about to happen. So we got busy and it was good and when we both were finished, I let her get some sleep but told her that it wasn't enough and that I would be back for more that evening.

The rest of the day was spent furniture shopping and going to dinner with some friends. We got home early and I went to bed before her while she relaxed watching TV and was catching up on FB. When she came to bed, we again got busy and I had my fun. After that, she had some fun with me stimulating her manually. What happened next was incredible. After a brief timeout to catch our breath, I was still ready to go and said that I would like to have another turn and she agreed. After she saw that I was getting into it, she began to get into it and before I knew it, she was exploding underneath me.

I think it surprised her too. 

We talked about it a little afterward and I kept saying how proud I was of her. I then gave her a foot massage with coconut oil and some fuzzy socks and we went to bed and slept like babies.

Thanks for all of the advice on how this works and suggestions on what to try. I know that we would never have gotten there without it. Now that she realizes that it can happen I hope that she remembers to let herself allow it to happen again. I won't force it, but wow, was it ever awesome!


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

'grats 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> In early Perimenopause my libido was Out Of Control! I was like a 17 year old boy, I wanted it all the time, could not get enough, always on my mind! Sitting in a business meeting if a man was standing I checked out his trousers, not because I wanted to have sex with him, but because I wanted to have SEX! What was he packing? Was he any good? How long can he last?


I think Mrs. Micawber is going through this (and I'm a happy boy for it.) She has been becomming hornier these last few months and I am finding that she is also becoming more adventurous. She texted me last week while I was out of town that she was ordering bras for her to try on for me when I got back home. When I asked for a pic or a website, she declined saying that she didn't think it appropriate that I look at other women. (with a wink)

Later in the week I got a text stating that she was thinking of ordering the panties as well. She knew exactly what that would do to me and I told her it was cruel, but thanked her afterward for planting the thought in my head, if you know what I mean. 

Yesterday when I got into the bed before her nap, she was on her phone ordering some lingere that I had suggested last week. I told her to order it later, that we had something more important to do. 

I am finding that her willingness to TALK about what we do and what she likes or would like to try has increased.

Of course it could all be that I'm in the middle of running the MAP on her and I have been dressing better and losing weight and getting back the body I had when I was younger. I bought some new cologne that I liked without asking her. (she said she likes it). Basically trying to up my Alpha game.

Perhaps it is a combination of both. :scratchhead:

I'm not complaining though.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

mitchell said:


> Now that you've opened the door with communication, why don't you ask her why she doesn't let you give her oral to completion?
> 
> My wife does not have orgasms from PIV alone, but she can have multiples if I get her there first with oral and follow up with PIV. She is usually quaking at that point and can have several more good O's before I get mine.


We've talked about it and I've let her know how much I enjoy it and that I would like to get the job done that way. Mrs. Micawber has an intense, well founded fear of UTI or YI. I have changed jobs a few times in the last year and our insurance is not what one could wish. Access to medical services in case such a problem arises would be expensive and the cost of the drugs even more, so I've been banished from the nether regions. She assures me that it is temporary and about to change with my new job and insurance starting Feb 1.

She always enjoys it when I'm down there, but she has never let me get her to completion. But that is changing I think. I don't know what's going on with her but lately her libido has gone through the roof. She told me point blank yesterday the four magic words "let's have sex tonight!" What? Never have I heard her put forth such a forward thinking statement. So, last night, as I was manually pleasuring her, I could sense that she was close, so I asked to go down there and she agreed and it didn't take long before she was there. It was amazing! That was the first time in our nearly 30 marriage that she's ever allowed that. She told me later that she saw stars. 

So I think taken all together, I'm trying to get her to expand her horizons a bit and experience a multiple here, oral completion there and other stimulation in the mix. Pretty soon we'll put them all together and have the kind of relations that I long to provide her. 

Baby steps, but man is it ever fun!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

micawber said:


> We've talked about it and I've let her know how much I enjoy it and that I would like to get the job done that way. Mrs. Micawber has an intense, well founded fear of UTI or YI. I have changed jobs a few times in the last year and our insurance is not what one could wish. Access to medical services in case such a problem arises would be expensive and the cost of the drugs even more, so I've been banished from the nether regions. She assures me that it is temporary and about to change with my new job and insurance starting Feb 1.



New inexpensive sex toy for women who fear UTI's and YI's.....


You take a swath of plastic wrap, slap it over her ladybits, and proceeded to do your worst, or best.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Anon and Happy have some really good insight on this.
> 
> Mrs. Conan has extremely explosive and hard core orgasms that rock her whole body, it is actually physically hard for her to go through that process too close together.
> 
> ...



:iagree:

Mine can be painful to get to even one. My muscles will be sore afterwards a lot of time. So while the mind is willing the body is weak. lol. I don't know if I could physically go for more than one a lot of times. 

Occasionally, like if you said; Arousal is softer and lighter, I will crave more than one.


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