# I hate my MIL



## Tech_Man (Jan 3, 2014)

I hate my in-laws. I am a 32-year-old man. For the past 9 years I have been in a relationship (married 7) with a woman who I love. However, her family is awful.

I did not meet her family until the night that we told them we were getting married a few weeks before the wedding. They did not like me. Her mother told her I was not attractive enough and our children would be ugly. My wife is symmetrical. 

We got married and I moved us to the closest place, to both of our families, where I could get a job. I started out making about $20k as a help desk technician and she worked at a help desk call center. We worked hard I finished grad school at the U of I and landed a job for about $40k. I worked hard. At the end of my contract I was offered a full-time position for 80k per year. She gave birth to twin boys and took care of our children. 
Throughout this time her mother visited a lot. Her mother would always be very critical/judgmental. She would make fun of us. I did not care. I did care that it stressed out my wife. When she is miserable, I am miserable. 

She tries to manipulate my wife to do her bidding. My wife does not confront her. But she sees what her mother is doing. 
She would always treat our house like a trash can. She smoked in our house even though I told her not to. I told her not to smoke around my children. She would leave half used soda cans, trash, dirty dishes all over the house. She would sneak whiskey/coffee into breast milk bottles in the fridge. 

Her mother would criticize our parenting. I pointed out that my wife was raised by her grandparents. This led to a screaming match. I kicked MIL out of my house. 

Also, we lost lots of things that that we bought mysteriously (things I remember: duct tape, tools, gift cards, pictures in frames, spare change, jewelry, frozen pizzas). I thought that my wife just lost things (in the case of the pizzas I thought she pigged out). I did not care. I love her so much. 

One thing that was lost was a camera. We still had the packing, box and warranty, but the camera was missing. One day we visited my wife’s aunt. She asked me if I could fix her new camera. She had no idea how to use it. I asked her to bring the camera’s box/packing/directions. She said she didn’t have it. I turned it on. It was already set up. I knew exactly how to use it because it was my camera! It even had pictures I had taken of my family on it. I asked her where she got it. It was a gift from my mother-in-law. 

I drove home and got the packaging and receipt (which I always store in the box). I showed her that the serial numbers matched. I showed her pictures taken a year before of my family on the camera. She gave me the camera back. 
My MIL was furious. She scream at me and left messages on my phone that she would kill me. 

I looked for jobs far away. I was offered a job paying 120k in Dallas (13 or 14 hours away from our home towns). I told my wife that I have had it. We paid 3 months of rent. We packed our things. 

While we were packing the U-Haul the police came to our door to investigate us. Someone had reported child abuse, but opted to remain anonymous. 

I was interrogated for 8 hours 2 days in a row. It was horrible. It ruined my work plans and set us back financially. I thought because I was innocent I might as well let them interrogate me. I was told not to leave the state/county. Or at least inform them if I was leaving the county. We agreed to submit to monitoring for 6 months. Once a week a councilor came to our house for one hour. We also had surprise visits from state child welfare agents. We also volunteered to take the state-sponsored parenting class that our councilor taught. 

MIL swears it was not her, even though she threatened to “have me locked up” when we told her we were moving. She drove by and saw the U-Haul.

After the 6-month ordeal the councilor said she loved us more than any other family she has had in 25 years. She said that if we were abusive than her whole career has been a waste because she was 100 per cent sure the allegations were untrue. 

In some ways the counseling was very useful because my wife was able to get “permission” to write her mother off. Our councilor bought my boys presents (our time together happened to end at Christmas time last year so they were going away/Christmas presents) with her own money.
We were cleared and we moved. I got another job that pays about 120k. I hired a moving company to move us and specified that it had to be completed between 4am and 6am, so that MIL would not come scream at us. 

It has been a year. We are all 1000000x happier. 
In some ways her mother is just so delusional. She thinks she is smarter, and better at everything and constantly tries to correct everyone. 

My wife is very kind and considerate. I love her so much. How could an apple fall so far from the tree?


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