# the bed sheets after sex



## toomuchtotell (May 13, 2013)

so the other day hubby and I had sex, which in and of itself is an unusual occurrence as we typically do it on average once a month. But anyway, after we did it, there was a wet spot on the top sheet that came from me, and it was right where the sheet would be pulled up to his face while sleeping. He said that was gross and he wasn't going to sleep with my wetness on the sheets near his face like that and proceeded to change all the bedding and put on a whole new whole sheet set before going to bed. Now mind you, my husband hardly ever voluntarily changes bedding or even cleans! I felt a little bit insulted and hurt. Am I overreacting??


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## eyuop (Apr 7, 2013)

toomuchtotell said:


> so the other day hubby and I had sex, which in and of itself is an unusual occurrence as we typically do it on average once a month. But anyway, after we did it, there was a wet spot on the top sheet that came from me, and it was right where the sheet would be pulled up to his face while sleeping. He said that was gross and he wasn't going to sleep with my wetness on the sheets near his face like that and proceeded to change all the bedding and put on a whole new whole sheet set before going to bed. Now mind you, my husband hardly ever voluntarily changes bedding or even cleans! I felt a little bit insulted and hurt. Am I overreacting??


It sounds like to me you would like to have more frequent sex than you are getting, so that's probably a bigger issue. 

By the way, I would find that a bit degrading. Such body fluids are natural, and there is no reason to feel ashamed about them or grossed out. Is he grossed out about other things related to sex? 

Nothing wrong with changing "wet spotted" sheets, but to react in a way that makes you feel ashamed for getting the sheets spotted is not cool at all. Is this a one-time thing or is he often critical of things related to sex and/or intimacy? If he has hurt your feelings you should be able to tell him he hurt your feelings.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Can husbands change sheets? I didn't know!


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## just_about_done (Feb 6, 2013)

I have no problem at all with that particular bodily fluid being everywhere and anywhere during sex, but I really wouldn't want to sleep with it right there in my face. I don't know why.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

After our sex session, the sheets always have wet spots. We laugh about it, who's going to get the wet spot? We pull the sheets to either side of the bed.........lol.

I change the bedsheets all by myself and often too.

Sometimes, there are drool wet spots from my wifee as well.

It's all good.


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

OP,
Sounds like your husband was being a little insensitive. My wife and I usually have some sort of wet spot after sex. It may be from me or her. The spot is usually not too big and we just dab it up with a small towel. It's no big deal.

You might mention to your husband that you thought he was being a little rude but I wouldn't make a huge deal over it.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Over-reaction, guilty as charged...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Can husbands change sheets? I didn't know!


Apparently when they have to sniff girl gush they can figure it out! 

OP,yes, highly insulting. It made me think of several very mean things to do with his pillow case!

Mr. Pink used to get out of bed and wash his face and brush he teeth after oral on me. Then I told him I didn't want him going down anymore if the taste or scent was so unpleasant to him. He laughed and said he was doing that for me since he figured I wouldn't want to smell me on him.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

I don't see it as a big deal. He does not want that wet spot next to his face. I doubt I would either, though I have dealt with it when it was on other areas of the bed. 

What about it offends you? Would it have been preferable to just switch sides of the bed?


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## eyuop (Apr 7, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Apparently when they have to sniff girl gush they can figure it out!
> 
> OP,yes, highly insulting. It made me think of several very mean things to do with his pillow case!
> 
> Mr. Pink used to get out of bed and wash his face and brush he teeth after oral on me. Then I told him I didn't want him going down anymore if the taste or scent was so unpleasant to him. He laughed and said he was doing that for me since he figured I wouldn't want to smell me on him.


I can totally relate to Mr. Pink. Totally.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

If he goes down on you then his face has been there. What a big baby! I have slept on many a wet spot. If I had to change the sheets everytime we had sex I would be changing them daily ;-)


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all but seems to me that is just personal preference. The fact that it bothers him doesn't seem all that unusual. Some women don't swallow and I wouldn't perceive that as insulting. Now that said, he could have communicated it in a healthier way that could not have been taken as offensive.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Ahh the old 'wet spot' issue.

nobody likes sleeping on the wet spot - but yeah... he was being a bit dramatic, and yeah, its kind of insulting a little. He wasnt trying to make you feel bad though - my guess is that he just wasnt thinking 'yuck thats her', he was thinking 'yuck, I dont want to sleep in a puddle.'

funny how when you are HAVING sex - everything is hot and steamy and wet and fragrant and you are rubbing and grabbing a breathing heavy and your brain is on fire and you just cant get enough...

20 minutes later: 'wet spot. ew.'



===

It never bothred me enough that I felt I had to TAKE ACTION to CORRECT IT IMMEDIATELY. Thats crazy. We have played a little tug of war in the bed to drag the other person onto the wetspot - little bit of schaudenfreud I guess... but its all in fun. We say 'ew' and dont really mean it and fall asleep anyway. If we are wet and sweaty and a mess well - thats what we were trying for, isnt it? Sex isnt neat. Or at least - it shouldnt be.

my vote - dont take it too personal.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

LoriC said:


> If he goes down on you then his face has been there. What a big baby! I have slept on many a wet spot. If I had to change the sheets everytime we had sex I would be changing them daily ;-)


So have I, but never at my face. I would have moved it, because I don't like that. Once, when I had a cold, I woke up to drool on my pillow. I changed the pillow case. Not sure why not wanting to change that is such a big deal.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

anotherguy said:


> Ahh the old 'wet spot' issue.
> 
> nobody likes sleeping on the wet spot - but yeah... he was being a bit dramatic, and yeah, its kind of insulting a little. He wasnt trying to make you feel bad though - my guess is that he just wasnt thinking 'yuck thats her', he was thinking 'yuck, I dont want to sleep in a puddle.'


To me, there is a difference between a wet spot right at my face, and one that I can clean with a towel and then sleep on near my torso or legs.



> my vote - dont take it too personal.


I agree with this.


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## toomuchtotell (May 13, 2013)

That's just the thing, he had just gone down on me a few moments before that and loved it! I think I felt offended that he would be grossed out by something that came out of my body BECAUSE of the intimate act the two of us were engaged in. I mean, it's not like I threw up on the sheets! Maybe if he just tried to clean it off with a towel, rather than making a big production by changing the entire bed set, it wouldn't have been so bad. Maybe I'm just sensitive since we don't have sex that often to begin with (not just his fault but mine too)


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

I think most women would feel somewhat upset in your situation. However you don't want to turn a mole hill into a mountain. I'm wondering if there is there some way you can casually bring the subject up/talk to him and make a joke out of it - but at the same time letting him know that you were surprised and a little confused bearing in mind the great sex you had just had together. Then leave it at that. Hopefully next time (_next month!!!_) he'll be back to normal and you can forget it.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

yeah - try and let it slide. As Tall Average Guy shows - it likely never occured to him that it would even begin to be even remotely 'insulting'.

Assume the best. You guys just made sweet love. Trust me - he isnt disgusted by you - he just wanted clean sheets. 2 different things, right? Thats not me, but I can at least understand it.

Now that I say it that way - I have to say that is how I have gotten into trouble/misunderstanings with the wife in the past - when I start injecting cold or mean spirited motivations into her actions. Be careful you dont do the same with your hubby? I bet if you said something about it rather than silently fuming (did you?) you may feel a bit differently today after getting his take on it.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

That's nothing. The loser I dated last summer would wash his privates with rubbing alcohol after sex. :-o

However, I would not want the wet spot on the top sheet right under my chin. I like all of my sheets dry, and if there was a wet spot on the bottom sheet, I'd put down a towel. Having been the one in charge of sheets and laundry, if I think there's going to be a mess, I put the towel down first. But that's just for the neat and organized ones that don't bounce all over the bed. lol. (Exaggerating.)


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

toomuchtotell said:


> That's just the thing, he had just gone down on me a few moments before that and loved it! I think I felt offended that he would be grossed out by something that came out of my body BECAUSE of the intimate act the two of us were engaged in. *I mean, it's not like I threw up on the sheets!* Maybe if he just tried to clean it off with a towel, rather than making a big production by changing the entire bed set, it wouldn't have been so bad. Maybe I'm just sensitive since we don't have sex that often to begin with (not just his fault but mine too)


Ok...I just laughed out loud at that


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> That's nothing. The loser I dated last summer would wash his privates with rubbing alcohol after sex. :-o


you are not joking.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

toomuchtotell

Has it ever happened that he has made a wet spot on the sheets that was going to be near his face and if yes, what did he do, if anything. If it hasn't happened, what do you think he would do.

What I'm thinking is that although he verbalised that he wasn't going to sleep on sheets with a wet spot _originating from you_ right by his face, might he have changed the sheets if it came from him, the only difference being that he would say that he wasn/t going to sleep on sheets with a wet spot but just not go on to say who the wet spot came from. In this scenario I guess you wouldn't be feeling insulted/degraded. 

What he said was very insensitive, but it's probably worth giving him the benefit of the doubt, even though it's easier said than done.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> That's nothing. The loser I dated last summer would wash his privates with rubbing alcohol after sex. :-o ...


Surely that would sting like hell ???


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Hmmm...trying to figure out this whole his and hers wetspot. By the time we get done, things are usually so messy, there's no way to tell who made it and hell, how it even got there.


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## FlyingThePhoenix (Apr 11, 2013)

toomuchtotell said:


> That's just the thing, he had just gone down on me a few moments before that and loved it! I think I felt offended that he would be grossed out by something that came out of my body BECAUSE of the intimate act the two of us were engaged in. I mean, it's not like I threw up on the sheets! Maybe if he just tried to clean it off with a towel, rather than making a big production by changing the entire bed set, it wouldn't have been so bad. Maybe I'm just sensitive since we don't have sex that often to begin with (*not just his fault but mine too*) *(FTP: SORRY! I disagree with YOU, it's NOT your fault too - See below)*


*NO!* You’re *NOT* over reacting, but YOUR husband is *WAY OVER REACTING* to something he should be used to by now, after 13 years of marriage with you, he hasn’t seen your “wet spot” before? _Oh come on, “Too much”!_ Granted by your own admission sex is rare, but just remember who keeps asking, and asking, and asking him to do the little things around the house that he won’t do because of his many obsession(s):

He doesn’t change the bedding, doesn’t clean up his mess, is obsessed with his gadgets and hardly does anything with you unless he initiates it but only when you corner him into making a decision.

“*Too much*”, I think your husband thinks a little “*Too much of himself*” _(Sorry I couldn't help myself again )_ in this marriage and once again he’s thinking about his feelings and *NOT* yours. After 13 years of marriage you should be making your *STAND* against him about was is and should be a very intimate act that between the both you.

_(Sorry if I came across cold) _


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

We have a couple of "sex" towels.... problem solved.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Some of my sweetest dreams have come from sleeping on "the wet spot"....

the woodchuck


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## Kari (Feb 17, 2012)

I agree with the 'just put a towel on top of it' solution. Easy. It's not like blood or puke, it's really just a wet spot that won't stain, and you can always change the sheets in the morning. I always slept with a towel under me when 'Aunt Flo' was visiting (and I had sex during it too except during Day 1, I never understood the whole 'down for repairs' for an entire week thing).


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I would be shocked and insulted if Mr H got up to change the sheets just after sex no matter where the wet spot was. Our bed is a cesspool of sex and debauchery on a constant basis. As it is the bed gets changed too often and the sheets are forever being washed.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Let me guess - the husband doesn't do the laundry.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I've never had a problem with the wet spot per se. I mean, we've both slept on it hundreds of times. I find it a little uncomfortable at first, not because of what it's made of but simply because it's wet. I would have the same reaction if it was just spilled water from a drinking glass. It just feels weird to sleep on anything wet. Because it's from us is the only reason I don't do anything about it.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> Can husbands change sheets? I didn't know!



I do!

And I also cook and do the laundry.


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## ginger-snap (Apr 10, 2013)

Huh. I hate wet spots and have been known to change the sheets after. I guess I never really thought about it being insulting. I wonder if my H is insulted when I do this. He seems to protest the sheet changing often. I feel like the anti-woman now! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## toomuchtotell (May 13, 2013)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> That's nothing. The loser I dated last summer would wash his privates with rubbing alcohol after sex. :-o


Seriously? Sounds like he had a major case of ocd! 



> NO! You’re NOT over reacting, but YOUR husband is WAY OVER REACTING to something he should be used to by now, after 13 years of marriage with you, he hasn’t seen your “wet spot” before? Oh come on, “Too much”! Granted by your own admission sex is rare, but just remember who keeps asking, and asking, and asking him to do the little things around the house that he won’t do because of his many obsession(s):
> 
> He doesn’t change the bedding, doesn’t clean up his mess, is obsessed with his gadgets and hardly does anything with you unless he initiates it but only when you corner him into making a decision.
> 
> “Too much”, I think your husband thinks a little “Too much of himself” (Sorry I couldn't help myself again ) in this marriage and once again he’s thinking about his feelings and NOT yours. After 13 years of marriage you should be making your STAND against him about was is and should be a very intimate act that between the both you.


Now FTP, you are making "too much" sense, you know?! But yeah, it is time to take a stand on a number of issues. The crazy thing is...he is spending the entire day today helping a friend of his move. He'd rather lug around someone elses sh!t in 95 degree heat than help clean up around our house I guess!


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## Whiner (May 22, 2013)

I think the way he handled it was overkill, but I wouldn't want to sleep with a wet spot in my face. And, anon pink, I wish my husband would brush his teeth after! Funny, but things that are fine in the moment can be disgusting after.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

toomuchtotell said:


> so the other day hubby and I had sex, which in and of itself is an unusual occurrence as we typically do it on average once a month. But anyway, after we did it, there was a wet spot on the top sheet that came from me, and it was right where the sheet would be pulled up to his face while sleeping. He said that was gross and he wasn't going to sleep with my wetness on the sheets near his face like that and proceeded to change all the bedding and put on a whole new whole sheet set before going to bed. Now mind you, my husband hardly ever voluntarily changes bedding or even cleans! I felt a little bit insulted and hurt. Am I overreacting??


How would you react if the wet spot was from him and it was in your face?

To me this is about respecting your spouse and letting him (or her) be who they are. If he did not want a wet spot in his face so what? Surely there are more important things in your life.

Pick your battles well. This is not the hill you want to die on.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> How would you react if the wet spot was from him and it was in your face?
> 
> To me this is about respecting your spouse and letting him (or her) be who they are. If he did not want a wet spot in his face so what? Surely there are more important things in your life.
> 
> Pick your battles well. This is not the hill you want to die on.


:iagree: x 100%

I HATE wet spots on the bed or pillows. [ Yes , sometimes it gets all on the pillows ]
So if there are wet spots, I simply help her change the sheets.

In any event I'm not even sure they're from her alone...
Some of my stuff is mixed in there too.
So I take partial responsibility for the mess we've made!


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I think changing the sheets was a bit of an over-reaction, but wet spots at the face are not nice. I have asked my wife to be a bit more careful when pulling the top sheets back up to not create a wet spot at the top of the sheets. She certainly wasn't offended by it, because it has happened to her too.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> In any event I'm not even sure they're from her alone...
> Some of my stuff is mixed in there too.
> So I take partial responsibility for the mess we've made!


:iagree:

I was thinking the same thing. I'm pretty sure that 50% or more comes from me, even if it spent some time in her.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Why couldn't he just move the sheets away from his face? Does he sleep with the sheets covering his face?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

If he was worried about the top sheet having a wet spot, why didn't he just flip the sheet around so that it was at the bottom of the bed?

It's a pity he used the word "gross," but it might have just been a case of him not wanting to sleep with something wet near his face.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Wet spots are uncomfortable, why not just kick everyone out of the bed and change the sheets on the spot, only takes a few minutes and you have a nice clean fresh comfortable sheet to snuggle in?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Usually we lay around naked un covered snuggling long enough the the wet spots are pretty much dry by the time the covers are up to our face.


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## FlyingThePhoenix (Apr 11, 2013)

Hi "Too much",



toomuchtotell said:


> Now FTP, you are making "too much" sense, you know? *(FTP: )*! But yeah, it is time to take a stand on a number of issues. The crazy thing is...he is spending the entire day today helping a friend of his move. He'd rather lug around someone elses sh!t in 95 degree heat than help clean up around our house I guess!
> 
> *That's around 35C for me, "Bloody Hell" get it.*


I may have read a little “_Too much_” of your other posts - Sorry. Here's a question for you though, what if the situation was reversed how would you react to your husband? It takes two to tango...


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> That's nothing. The loser I dated last summer would wash his privates with rubbing alcohol after sex. :-o


My first thought:

Must suck to be him, and I hope he sooner than later has the courage and wisdom and means to get help. Imagine doing something most, likely including him, are wired to crave doing, and, for whatever reason, being obsessed enough about "germs" to have a compulsion to "disenfect" afterwords -- at great cost (losing you, and probably anyone else past or future).

Maybe that's not what or why it happened, but having had OCD myself for awhile way back when, and knowing nothing else about your experience, it seems like a plausible factor to me. And, FWIW, the obsessions and compulsions are there 24x7, whether anyone else is there (to be manipulated/affected) or not.

Thankfully, I've never had any sort of aversion to whatever the beautiful flower produces. I'm sure my wife would have been hurt if I had (and, hmmm, I need to think about brushing my teeth and washing my beard before morning). It used to bother me she almost always washes me out of her down there afterwords. But, considering she has always swallowed me (on those too few occasions), that gives my mind something more satisfying to focus on.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

OP,

If his problem was with the wet spot, he should have been nicer about it.

The fact he wasn't so nice ("gross"), suggests to me there is a deeper problem than any particular fluid in any particular place.

Seems like you both do not understand what the other was thinking or feeling at the time. Getting third parties' perspective is potentially helpful, trying to speculate yourself about his thoughts and feelings is potentially helpful. But it is all potentially destructive too. What matters most is that you find a way to communicate effectively about this -- even if your first instincts/attempts fail. IMHO.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

He was a bit insensitive, but there's nothing wrong with him not wanting a body fluid wet spot in his face after the act. There's a reason that Glade doesn't make vagina scented plug-ins. The same reason that Wrigley doesn't make penis flavored gum. Most people may find these scents/flavors incredibly arousing when in the mood (I sure do,) but not always.

The key question which has already been posted is what you would do if the wet spot was his semen and it was in your face? The answer may help you to be less insulted. Even if you would has no objection, that doesn't mean he was wrong. Except for his choice of words. Thus is what you should talk about.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I think it was perfectly reasonable to change the sheets. The wet spot would have been up at his face and he'd be smelling it all night, not to mention it would feel clammy up against him.

This isn't something to be upset about at all. There was a simple problem of a wet spot, he identified it, he changed the sheets and he solved it.


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## PreRaphaelite (Dec 15, 2012)

Pfft OP:

Female secretion is the goddamn most exciting, most voluptuous thing there is. It means that your woman's body is responding very positively to the pleasure she/it's getting.

/sigh. The things that turn men off. Men are so stupid sometimes.

Someone needs to set your husband straight.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Wet spots are uncomfortable, why not just kick everyone out of the bed and change the sheets on the spot, only takes a few minutes and you have a nice clean fresh comfortable sheet to snuggle in?


Yeah right, so we would have had to change the sheets 5 times over the weekend.

With all that sheet washing who would have time for sex?


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## toomuchtotell (May 13, 2013)

Well I suppose if the situation were reversed, I'd probably just move the sheet so the spot wasn't all up in my face all night long. If that was unavoidable, I'd just try to clean it a little. I don't think I'd go to the level of changing the sheets, it just seemed like it's creating negative drama.


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## FlyingThePhoenix (Apr 11, 2013)

> The crazy thing is...he is spending the entire day today helping a friend of his move. He'd rather lug around someone elses sh!t in 95 degree heat than help clean up around our house I guess!


I have a solution to your house cleaning problem, read your other posts 



toomuchtotell said:


> Well I suppose if the situation were reversed, I'd probably just move the sheet so the spot wasn't all up in my face all night long. If that was unavoidable, I'd just try to clean it a little. I don't think I'd go to the level of changing the sheets, it just seemed like it's creating negative drama.


There you go simple isn't it just as many tamers have stated. So why did he freak out? _You already know the answer to that one, it's in your other posts_.

I'm off to :sleeping:


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