# Her dad doesn’t like me I don’t know why



## westley85 (May 6, 2018)

My girlfriend’s dad really hate me for reasons that I don’t know. Whenever I visited her, he would always scowl at me. I have tried impressing him but he won’t really budge. I bought his favourite drink, gave him stuff, and had a sincere talk with him about my girlfriend. I thought those would be enough but I was wrong. Is this really how it’s like in latin women dating? Are Latino fathers really strict on their daughter’s lovers? I don’t know what else I could do. Please help me.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Have you asked your gf?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long have you been dating her?

How old are the two of you?


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## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

westley85 said:


> My girlfriend’s dad really hate me for reasons that I don’t know. Whenever I visited her, he would always scowl at me. I have tried impressing him but he won’t really budge. I bought his favourite drink, gave him stuff, and had a sincere talk with him about my girlfriend. I thought those would be enough but I was wrong. Is this really how it’s like in latin women dating? Are Latino fathers really strict on their daughter’s lovers? I don’t know what else I could do. Please help me.


Maybe you're the son or relative of someone he despises. Or maybe he's racist. What's your race?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I'm not Latino but I'm very protective of my girls as well. I want to make sure that any candidate has potential, respects my girl, understands real life, has faced and successfully overcome challenges, and so on.

I know that love is not enough in my view. It's an ingredient, but there's personality, compatibility outside the relationship, similar education, and so on. 

Try talking to her about how her dad perceives you. Offer to go out with him for a coffee or something. Let him learn about you and what makes you tick. 

Similar background is not necessary. We're quite well off and she's dating a solid middle class kid. But he's awesome and he has my seal of approval .


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

westley85 said:


> Is this really how it’s like in latin women dating? Are Latino fathers really strict on their daughter’s lovers?


 The fact that you have to ask “Is this really how it’s like in latin women dating? Are Latino fathers really strict on their daughter’s lovers?” tell me that you are not part of her family’s culture or community, which is reason enough for her father to be concerned about you dating his daughter.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Our daughter is now dating and my husband was upset about it. Because it was the first time he said that he saw her as a grown up and her putting someone else ahead of him. That kinda hurt because they were also so close and he loves her so much. He does not like that he has to "share" his daughter. She now has someone to do stuff with and it's not him.

I don't think this is a racial thing. It's a dad thing. No guy will ever be good enough for his baby girl. My husband is spoiled by our daughter, she is always calling him. They are always doing adventurous things together. Now he is the one who has to make plans with her and the boy gets to come along. I am enjoying myself watching this drama, having a good laugh.

He is going to watch to see how you treat his daughter and his family. One of the first things my H said about the boyfriend was, that he had good manners and was attentive. That goes along way. 

You might want to learn more about him and what he likes. 

Don't take him too much gifts because he will see you as a kiss ass. Work your way in the mum and siblings.

Good luck.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

brooklynAnn said:


> I don't think this is a racial thing.


I some instances it is a racial thing and can't be discounted.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

westley85 said:


> *My girlfriend’s dad really hate me *for reasons that I don’t know.
> 
> .....had a sincere talk with him *about my girlfriend*. I thought those would be enough but I was wrong. Is this really how it’s like in latin women dating?
> 
> .....*Are Latino fathers really strict on their daughter’s lovers?* I don’t know what else I could do. Please help me.


Not many traditional protective fathers are cool with men to are F-ing their daughters.

From what you have posted, you view his daughter as your girlfriend and wanted to talk to him about *your girlfriend, not his daughter.*

From what you have posted you are comfortable with the world knowing *his daughter is your lover *and you have probably rubbed his face in that.

I think that this has nothing to do with Latino culture, it has more to do with male culture. 

You might want to start over by talking to his daughter and explaining how you have probably gotten off on the wrong foot with her dad and see if there is any way you can show him and his daughter the respect he probably feels is appropriate. You might start by telling him how wonderful his daughter is and how your intentions are "honorable." Old fashioned, but it might go a long way.

Good luck, you are going to need it.


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## westley85 (May 6, 2018)

lifeistooshort said:


> Have you asked your gf?


Not really.. I have opened up a bit but not so much as I don't want her to worry.


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## westley85 (May 6, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> How long have you been dating her?
> 
> How old are the two of you?


We've been together for a year or so now and we are both old enough to get married.


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## westley85 (May 6, 2018)

BruceBanner said:


> Maybe you're the son or relative of someone he despises. Or maybe he's racist. What's your race?[/QUOTE
> 
> Man, that would be sad....


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## westley85 (May 6, 2018)

brooklynAnn said:


> Our daughter is now dating and my husband was upset about it. Because it was the first time he said that he saw her as a grown up and her putting someone else ahead of him. That kinda hurt because they were also so close and he loves her so much. He does not like that he has to "share" his daughter. She now has someone to do stuff with and it's not him.
> 
> I don't think this is a racial thing. It's a dad thing. No guy will ever be good enough for his baby girl. My husband is spoiled by our daughter, she is always calling him. They are always doing adventurous things together. Now he is the one who has to make plans with her and the boy gets to come along. I am enjoying myself watching this drama, having a good laugh.
> 
> ...


Ohh, never thought of it that way. Thanks a lot for enlightening me.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Trying to make someone like you is called "people pleasing." It's not a good thing. It's a form of manipulation. You have now shown her father that you are manipulative and controlling. Controlling, because that is the goal of manipulation, to control. You are trying to control how he views you and what he thinks about you.

Instead you should be who you are and get to know her family and develop relationships.

I also agree with @Young at Heart about your approach being rather in your face. If a young man approached me about my daughter in that manner, I'd give him a piece of my mind and let him know that I would not be influencing my daughter towards you. In my family, we have a lot of influence in each other's lives and the opinion of a parent is very important to my children. If they brought someone home calling himself my daughter's lover, I wouldn't be impressed in the slightest. Call me old fashioned, because I am.

Now that you have received the opinion of several parents of young adult, you have an idea of how you may have been perceived by her father.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

westley85 said:


> Not really.. I have opened up a bit but not so much as I don't want her to worry.


If you are serious about her and she is serious about you, then this will also be "her" issue as well as yours. 

Again, if you are serious about building a relationship, building a relationship with each of your families is an important part and establishing boundaries with respective parents is also critical. Talk to her as this is something you should both work on for the entire length of your relationship.

Good luck.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

My wife's parents had a low opinion of me for years of dating and the first few years of being married. Sometimes it just happens. Best you can do is be polite to the dad, and treat your girlfriend well.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

I'm a dad of two girls and if you were dating one of them- I wouldn't like you either. It is a "dad thing."

As others have said, be polite, don't try and smooze your way in, and for the love of God- if she still lives at home, follow the house rules. Get her home at a reasonable time and not impaired.


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