# I've finally asked him !!!



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

First off I want to thanks all of you for your replies....

Last night I was about to go to bed when I saw him sitting on the couch downstairs texting (turns out it was just the tv remote  )....

I sat down and said we need to talk !!!

I told him that I need to know if he's cheating....

He looked me in the eyes and replied with a honest to God "No."....

We then started talking....calmly.....about what his plans are, what the deal with us having sex was....about everything that went wrong.....

He is indeed texting, or better emailing his therapist and he's got some major issues going on that could be bad for a cop.....

He still wants the divorce, since he sorta fell out of love with me...he said he questioned himself if he'd be upset if he caught me cheating and he had to admit that he wouldn't .....

We've talked about how to go about the divorce and what I am entitled to and we do agree on all of it....

My friends think I'm dumb and I should just take him for all he's got, but I am not going to, because he has worked hard for his money (always in the line of fire) and he deserves every penny....

Besides....I want to prove myself (and him) that I can make it on my own.....until I truly can he's vowed to help me out as much as he can....

I'm heartbroken but I have to admit that it was mainly my fault our marriage failed.....I got too comfortable and let myself and my dreams and goals go.....

We are going to remain (best) friends and are going to work together for the kids.....

Before I went to bed I said "If you ever need hugs, I'll give them to you" and he liked that....

Once we were in bed I started crying again and he held me close and I said "Well, if you ever feel better and feel like you want to try again...." and he finished ".....then I'll know where to find you !!!".....

We fell asleep cuddling and today was a very good day for us....like the tension has been lifted....

We're going to be ok.....even if we're not together !!!!!!

But I do still hope and pray for a reconciliation once he's feeling better and is well again....

I won't stop living but I never give up hope !!!!!

He's after all....the love of my life ray: !!!!!


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## figuringitout (Oct 14, 2010)

I truly wish both of you the best. I commend you and your courage. It sounds like you both are trying to be adults about this. Kudos.


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

wow... it brought tears to my eyes....you are a very strong person and look up to you for what you have just done. I hope whatever happens in my situation I can pull it together just like you have done!


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## misspuppy (Sep 19, 2010)

i am glad things are at least starting to work out and i am *knew* in my heart from your last post he as not cheating .. he loves you, BUT needs to work out some serious issues. Which i commend him for, he is being a true man, and you are very lucky that he is willing to address his issues instead of "pushing" them aside... 

based on what he has said this time, i think you have a pretty good chance at getting thru this, i *KNOW* it is hard, but, what does not kill you will only make you stronger.


If you guys make it thru this, there is nothing you can not handle.. i wish you both the best in your future and let me know how things go.


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## mrnice (Aug 11, 2009)

Dale&Alex said:


> First off I want to thanks all of you for your replies....
> 
> Last night I was about to go to bed when I saw him sitting on the couch downstairs texting (turns out it was just the tv remote  )....
> 
> ...


You sound like a very rational person.

For a start you can tell your friends to get stuffed.
What is it about friends telling friends 'To take him for everything he is worth' 

Do people really want to see other people suffer in that way? I think it's ludicrous behaviour.

I feel for you and I believe you are doing the right thing.'

Well done and good luck.


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

Dale&Alex said:


> First off I want to thanks all of you for your replies....
> 
> Last night I was about to go to bed when I saw him sitting on the couch downstairs texting (turns out it was just the tv remote  )....
> 
> ...


I commend you with all my heart, hope you and your family can go through this process with a minimum of pain and maximum hope. Tell your "friends" to jump in a lake.

Divorce mediation IMO is the best way to go, find a bright, thoughtful mediator, work out financial and custody issues, part as friends, and continue to raise your children with their best interests central to both your lives. 

FYI, my wife and I talked about our divorce last night, it was a honest discussion, we will see a mediator soon, our view of how to lead life very different, her libido zero, divorce will make us both happier, when we're not crying. She wants me to be happy, knows she can't/won't and after 40 years of being a nice guy, I will try to put my happiness first.

I know I cuddled her early this morning.


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