# women's libido drug



## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

well.....back to the drawing board 

Female libido drug remains in limbo


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)




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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

not good.....


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Quoting...

The FDA questions whether the drug's benefits outweigh its risks, considering its "modest" effectiveness and side effects including fatigue, dizziness and nausea.

Most LD women would welcome the above symptoms as an excuse to NOT have sex  

Juuuuust kidding...


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

If it were a new drug for *men* it would have been approved 10x's over .. it's getting really sickening that they ignore women and all the issues we have, including the insurance companies that will pay for a man to have testosterone therapy if his T level is below 300 but they won't cover it for a woman even if she shows her hormone levels to be non existent ... sorry it's still a man's world .. just makes me so mad!!!


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

LOL, this is not a man's world because everything that men do is for and revolve around women, so in the in the end is a woman's world (at least in occident)


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Try Wellbutrin. It made my sex drive sky rocket!


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Yes, that is exactly what most Dr's want to put women on, anti-depressants rather than get to the real issue of what is really going on. Anti-depressants are not always the answer either,they can and do make matters worse at times.

Most women, if they get their hormones in line, would not have the problems with Libido to take a pill, balance their hormones and they would have a natural libido they way they should .. I said *most* women, some women just don't care about a sexual life, no matter what.


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

LadyDee said:


> I said *most* women, *some women just don't care about a sexual life, no matter what*.


Maybe the *problem* _isn't_ that some women don't care about sex, but that too many other people believe that there's something "wrong" with her if she doesn't...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

LadyDee said:


> Yes, that is exactly what most Dr's want to put women on, anti-depressants rather than get to the real issue of what is really going on. Anti-depressants are not always the answer either,they can and do make matters worse at times.
> 
> Most women, if they get their hormones in line, would not have the problems with Libido to take a pill, balance their hormones and they would have a natural libido they way they should .. I said *most* women, some women just don't care about a sexual life, no matter what.


Yes, they can test for hormonal imbalance, or take a woman off BC, but if all of that is normal and she WANTS a stronger sex drive, Wellbutrin will work. It's a very mild antidepressant anyway..

I love having a strong sex drive. If, after menopause, my sex drive nose dives as happens with many women, I'll go back on Wellbutrin happily.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Vega said:


> Maybe the *problem* _isn't_ that some women don't care about sex, but that too many other people believe that there's something "wrong" with her if she doesn't...



Yes, that could be too, but there are many more woman who *don't" care about sex, because their hormones are out of wack and that can lead to a whole new problem if they go long enough, they can develop issues with their thyroids ... it all goes hand and fist.


I hear so many men on these boards complaining about their wives not wanting sex, I would love to know the stats of those woman who have truly had a workup for their hormonal problems and have gone to a DR that truly will help, rather than they just *don't* like sex ... I can almost bet you with the research and knowledge that I have behind this whole mess that the % of these women are out of line with their hormones are much higher than woman that just don't want to have sex and that groups hormones are all optimal.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Yes, they can test for hormonal imbalance, or take a woman off BC, but if all of that is normal and she WANTS a stronger sex drive, Wellbutrin will work. It's a very mild antidepressant anyway..
> 
> I love having a strong sex drive. If, after menopause, my sex drive nose dives as happens with many women, I'll go back on Wellbutrin happily.



Sorry, but I don't understand the theory of putting women on anti-depressants who want a high sex drive. I am glad it worked for you and ou don't have other issues from them.

Anyone coming off birth control is exactly what I am saying, their hormones are out of wack, adjust those hormones, get them all in line, Estrogen/Progesterone/Testosterone/Pregnenelone and she will get her sex drive back without having to take an anti-depressant which in some women can cause them gain weight and other issues. 

An imbalance of hormones can result in so many other health issues, they truly need to start there with woman, rather than hand them a prescription for anti-depressants. 

Drs. need to start really listening to woman just like they do to men, who go in an tell them they don't have a drive and ED problems and they are handed prescriptions for all kinds of fixes. I am glad they are helping men, but have you noticed the Testosterone Clinics opening on every other corner lately to help men, um where are the ones for the women! How hard is it for a woman to get through to a Dr. or find the one that will finally listen to get the help they need, trust me it's not easy, I know 100% about all of it ...Like I said earlier, it's still a man's world!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

LadyDee said:


> Sorry, but I don't understand the theory of putting women on anti-depressants who want a high sex drive. I am glad it worked for you and ou don't have other issues from them.


The theory is that if hormones are already balanced and thyroid tests show balance and yet the sex drive remains absent or elusive, Wellbutrin can kick start a surge in sex drive and when combined with talk therapy and stress reduction the surge in sex drive can be maintained even after stopping the Wellbutrin. 

It's okay if you disagree with this practice but it remains a viable option that should not be overlooked.



> Anyone coming off birth control is exactly what I am saying, their hormones are out of wack, adjust those hormones, get them all in line, Estrogen/Progesterone/Testosterone/Pregnenelone and she will get her sex drive back without having to take an anti-depressant which in some women can cause them gain weight and other issues.


My post specifically stated after BC is stopped. BC often causes the loss of libido, so stopping BC would hope to have the hormones rebalance themselves and a sex drive would resume. Certainly not a few days later, but a few months later once the menstrual cycle has had a chance to adjust.




> An imbalance of hormones can result in so many other health issues, they truly need to start there with woman, rather than hand them a prescription for anti-depressants.


Completely agree!



> Drs. need to start really listening to woman just like they do to men, who go in an tell them they don't have a drive and ED problems and they are handed prescriptions for all kinds of fixes. I am glad they are helping men, but have you noticed the Testosterone Clinics opening on every other corner lately to help men, um where are the ones for the women! How hard is it for a woman to get through to a Dr. or find the one that will finally listen to get the help they need, trust me it's not easy, I know 100% about all of it ...Like I said earlier, it's still a man's world!


Doctors don't often listen, period! 

I developed hypothyroidism, was put on synthroid, then 6 weeks later went into a deep depression that lasted two years. No antidepressant worked. But you know what did work? I got pregnant! Wasn't intentional at all! At 20 weeks I started to feel better and by 22 weeks I felt completely, I mean totally, back to normal. 

TO THIS DAY, 14 years later, I still can't get a doctor to agree that my hormones were tossed out of whack when my thyroid quit, that the depression was triggered by thyroid replacement which tossed my hormones in another direction. That the hormones at 20 weeks gestation trigger a shift in brain chemistry which lifted the depression! 

Several years after all this I started to feel depressed again and went on antidepressant because I refuse to go through another depression! Thyroid tested fine. My doc put me on Wellbutrin and OMG within two months my sex drive, which had never been strong, went through the roof! And has stayed that way!

So I get it. Been there done that. Sex drive, brain chemistry and hormones are very tricky to balance particularly when combined with interpersonal skills that may be lacking, relationships that may be lacking, stress/anxiety coping skills that may be lacking. It's all interrelated and highly complicated. 

Personally, I would attack a weak sex drive on all fronts simulatiously then slowly wean off meds. Brain chemistry can be kick started which will then be assisting other forms of remedial therapy, be it hormones or psychotherapy.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Vega said:


> Maybe the *problem* _isn't_ that some women don't care about sex, but that too many other people believe that there's something "wrong" with her if she doesn't...


There is something wrong when a person has no sex drive. The drive to procreate is super strong and we evolved that way to ensure the survival of the species. The drive to survive is also super strong and hard wired to ensure our survival. We know beyond a doubt that when the drive to survive stops, there is something terribly wrong. So it goes to follow that if the drive to procreate disappears, there is something terribly wrong.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

AP, I think it's the hormones out of wack that trigger the thyroid, this is why it's so important to have them all optimal so that the thyroid doesn't have to get involved which causes a whole new mess.

I too have lived all this and my weak to 0 sex drive was because I was totally OUT of hormones, no trace left which in my case caused thyroid problems. Sometimes you can't go by the thyroid tests either, the general ones, you have to find a dr willing to dig deeper, willing to go beyond the normal TSH and other tests. They are HARD to find!!

Again I am glad the Wellbutrin helped you, but I know from experience that it's not for everyone, the anti-depressants only result in a whole new mess.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Gee..when I saw the subject line I thought this was a thread about wine...


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

I was thinking it was a shopping link for 400.00 purses


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

LadyDee said:


> AP, I think it's the hormones out of wack that trigger the thyroid, this is why it's so important to have them all optimal so that the thyroid doesn't have to get involved which causes a whole new mess.
> 
> I too have lived all this and my weak to 0 sex drive was because I was totally OUT of hormones, no trace left which in my case caused thyroid problems. Sometimes you can't go by the thyroid tests either, the general ones, *you have to find a dr willing to dig deeper, willing to go beyond the normal TSH and other tests. They are HARD to find!!*
> Again I am glad the Wellbutrin helped you, but I know from experience that it's not for everyone, the anti-depressants only result in a whole new mess.


My wife is having her hormones checked now, but I'm not hopeful just for this reason. She had them checked once before years ago, by the same doctor she's going to now. The doctor said she was "fine", but no further discussion or investigation. Not even any information or education given on the matter.


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

This forum is my libido drug.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> My wife is having her hormones checked now, but I'm not hopeful just for this reason. She had them checked once before years ago, by the same doctor she's going to now. The doctor said she was "fine", but no further discussion or investigation. Not even any information or education given on the matter.


That's because there is no science that can point to a normal range for sex drive for women! So your wife has to be her own advocate, as do all women. When the doc says, everything checks out her reply has to be, "well I am a healthy woman with a great relationship to a man I love and yet I have no (or almost zero) desire for sex, wouldn't you agree that there is something wrong there?" Then she has to say, "what else could be wrong physiologically?" She may even have to say that she "heard some women get their sex drive back after a few months on Wellbutrin, some women have found that their testosterone levels were too low and when that was boosted their sex drive came back. What can I do to get my sex drive back?"

Women hear, everything is normal, for their doctors because their doctors done even know what is normal for a healthy woman's sex drive! Does she want a sex drive or not? If she wants a sex drive then she has to DRIVE the team to look for answers!


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> There is something wrong when a person has no sex drive. The drive to procreate is super strong and we evolved that way to ensure the survival of the species. The drive to survive is also super strong and hard wired to ensure our survival. We know beyond a doubt that when the drive to survive stops, there is something terribly wrong. So it goes to follow that if the drive to procreate disappears, there is something terribly wrong.


I disagree. Sex drives vary from person to person, some being in the low range or some in high range. I dislike threads like this because it assumes that asexual or low drive people are not normal. They are just as normal as high drive people. The problem comes when they marry each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

techmom said:


> I disagree. Sex drives vary from person to person, some being in the low range or some in high range. I dislike threads like this because it assumes that asexual or low drive people are not normal. They are just as normal as high drive people. The problem comes when they marry each other.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There is a difference between a clash of three times a day marrying once a week vs 3 times a day marrying once every month. If your sex drive is that divergent not only does the conflict itself kill the sex drive but the base line sex drive of the once a month person is off. 

I don't know how low your sex drive is but less than once a month is not normal. Would you like to have a stronger sex drive or would you prefer to have your sex drive accepted as normal?


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> My wife is having her hormones checked now, but I'm not hopeful just for this reason. She had them checked once before years ago, by the same doctor she's going to now. The doctor said she was "fine", but no further discussion or investigation. Not even any information or education given on the matter.


Fozzy, I had Dr after Dr tell me I was fine, there was nothing wrong, but yet I felt like I was 90 and I just did not feel good with many issues not just the fact that I had 0 drive left. I almost gave up, thinking there was nothing that could be done, that things were the way it was suppose to be when you get *old* :rofl: I have family members in their 30's that are going through hormonal changes now too, this isn't something that only effects older women, this stuff can start in 20's.,30's and on ....

I finally found a wonderful practice where they actually listen to you and take the extra step to get to the bottom of the issues. I am not 100%, don't know if I ever will be, but I can tell you I feel like a new woman already and won't stop now, I know it wasn't all in my head. Best of luck to your wife, if she feels something isn't right, tell her not to give up! LMK, I can privately give you a few references for her to check drs out.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I think that my wife would consider a pill that increased her sex drive to be a plot by men to manipulate and drug her for our own gain. (Although I know she has talked to her doctor about the subject)


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

usmarriedguy said:


> I think that my wife would consider a pill that increased her sex drive to be a plot by men to manipulate and drug her for our own gain. (Although I know she has talked to her doctor about the subject)


The drive is something she's supposed to have and if it is repressed, other parts of her are repressed as well. The drive will be utilized on the object of her desire.


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> There is a difference between a clash of three times a day marrying once a week vs 3 times a day marrying once every month. If your sex drive is that divergent not only does the conflict itself kill the sex drive but the base line sex drive of the once a month person is off.
> 
> I don't know how low your sex drive is but less than once a month is not normal. Would you like to have a stronger sex drive or would you prefer to have your sex drive accepted as normal?


I want my drive to be accepted as much as high drive is. Seems like we get bombarded with sexual images everyday, it is used to sell everything from cars to food. But how do we teach our children about sex? It has been demonized in religion and glorified in men's lockerrooms. We teach girls to keep their legs closed and avoid men, expecting that to just magically change after marriage. We teach boys that a "real man" gets laid, this is why we say that a boy becomes a man when he loses his virginity.

We teach nothing on libido, nothing on the emotions and feelings involved. And this sucks because the reason why TAM exists is because we don't really learn anything but by trial and error. We don't teach women to love their bodies from a young age, we are taught to hide our body processes (menses) and hide our sexual beings. We expect them to know that men receive and give love through sex, when they are taught that men "just want to get into your pants" or "men just want one thing". This is the reason for the "eating the wedding cake" joke, but it is not a joke. The woman who doesn't just put out for her husband sexually is reacting to all of the teachings she had to process all of her life. Despite her husband's hurt feelings, she doesn't really know why sex is that important to him. All of the lines he feeds her about love and sex seem like just that, lines.

Until we teach girls differently about sex, their will always be women libido problems. No pill can fix hundreds of years of indoctrination of women.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

techmom said:


> I want my drive to be accepted as much as high drive is. Seems like we get bombarded with sexual images everyday, it is used to sell everything from cars to food. But how do we teach our children about sex? It has been demonized in religion and glorified in men's lockerrooms. We teach girls to keep their legs closed and avoid men, expecting that to just magically change after marriage. We teach boys that a "real man" gets laid, this is why we say that a boy becomes a man when he loses his virginity.
> 
> We teach nothing on libido, nothing on the emotions and feelings involved. And this sucks because the reason why TAM exists is because we don't really learn anything but by trial and error. We don't teach women to love their bodies from a young age, we are taught to hide our body processes (menses) and hide our sexual beings. We expect them to know that men receive and give love through sex, when they are taught that men "just want to get into your pants" or "men just want one thing". This is the reason for the "eating the wedding cake" joke, but it is not a joke. The woman who doesn't just put out for her husband sexually is reacting to all of the teachings she had to process all of her life. Despite her husband's hurt feelings, she doesn't really know why sex is that important to him. All of the lines he feeds her about love and sex seem like just that, lines.
> 
> ...


I hope you know I completely agree with the screwed up mixed messages girls and women are bombarded with and have to make sense of! Completely!

But you are asking that a libido that has been damaged by wrong and hurtful messages be accepted as normal.

When we women embrace our bodies and embrace our sexuality we free ourselves to enjoy the sex drive our bodies would naturally deliver. The sex drive that has been tampered with due to screwed up mixed messages is a sex drive that should not be accepted as normal but confronted for the absolute Bull Sh!t it is.

They took that enjoyment away from you and that was wrong. Do you really want to accept it's absence or would you like to embrace it's presence?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

There is no pill that can fix resentment, power games, selfishness, ignorance, or basic lack of understanding of how relationships work... 

I would be very curious to see physical vs emotional vs other causes as percentages contributing to LD....


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> I hope you know I completely agree with the screwed up mixed messages girls and women are bombarded with and have to make sense of! Completely!
> 
> But you are asking that a libido that has been damaged by wrong and hurtful messages be accepted as normal.
> 
> ...


At this time, I don't see how wanting more sex will enrich my life. I'm jaded that way, and I'm not a touchy feely person in general. I took the 5 love languages test and my love language is acts of service and gifts, physical touch scored the lowest. My hubby's language is physical touch. If I knew how this would affect marriage I would not have married him. Alas, hindsight is always 20/20.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

There's a lot more to physical intimacy than "what's in it for me"...


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Perhaps when sex drives are too mismatched, the pair should be given a "Get out of jail free" card.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

techmom said:


> At this time, I don't see how wanting more sex will enrich my life. I'm jaded that way, and I'm not a touchy feely person in general. I took the 5 love languages test and my love language is acts of service and gifts, physical touch scored the lowest. My hubby's language is physical touch. If I knew how this would affect marriage I would not have married him. Alas, hindsight is always 20/20.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wanting more sex will enrich your life because it will make you a happier person in general. While it's true a person can be happily asexual, I don't think that's even sort of a regular event. 

Wanting more sex will increase the level of intimacy in your marriage. This in turn will make you feel better connected to your H and better at dealing with stress in general. Wanting more sex will also remove some conflict from your marriage. Your husband will be getting his needs met which almost always means a happier man.

Wanting more sex will make you feel more fulfilled, more loved, and most important, that you are fully embracing the whole and healthy you.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

techmom said:


> At this time, I don't see how wanting more sex will enrich my life. I'm jaded that way, and I'm not a touchy feely person in general. I took the 5 love languages test and my love language is acts of service and gifts, physical touch scored the lowest. My hubby's language is physical touch. If I knew how this would affect marriage I would not have married him. Alas, hindsight is always 20/20.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My apologies if you have answered this before and I missed it, but do you accept your husbands natural level of effort in acts of service in the same manner that you expect him to accept your levels of physical touch?


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

Tall Average Guy said:


> My apologies if you have answered this before and I missed it, but do you accept your husbands natural level of effort in acts of service in the same manner that you expect him to accept your levels of physical touch?


We are in a downward spiral at this time, both acts of service and sex are being neglected. For years I put so much effort in the sex department only to fall short. My performance in that area had to come first before any acts of service was performed. It was imbalanced.

I feel that my life was so much easier when I was the single 20 year old virgin, even though I love my son with all of my heart. I can take or leave sex, I don't really want that constant libido nagging at me. 

This is how I feel, now I'm entering perimenopause and I feel no jump or change in libido. At times I think I should have joined the nunnery. Anon, you sound like my hubby at times trying to convince me that a high libido is a good thing. But I feel the way I do, he spent 20 years trying to change me and it failed. All that is left is a stubborn LD and a frustrated HD.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I think having a medical solution is a great thing, for people that want it. If you don't want it, that's fine too, as long as you can work things out with your spouse to each other's agreement.

In any event, the drug that got turned down is not the only avenue being pursued. Cabergoline sounds like it shows promise:

Re: Nardil Anorgasmia, what can I use to help? » Nardilstarted2007 | Psycho-Babble


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

A shot of tequila will help too


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

rush said:


> A shot of tequila will help too



:rofl: About all that would do for me, is make me pass out!


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

well 1 would not do that, usually puts my wife at ease


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

rush said:


> A shot of tequila will help too


Earlier this evening I asked my husband if he'd mind getting the bottle of wine that was on on a shelf out of my reach. He replied, "I'd reach into a pile of crocodiles to get you that wine."

He knows.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

My libido drug is my husbands semen A drink a day keeps the sex life A Ok!!


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Here is safety information on this drug Cabergoline, from sexual urges to gambling urges ....



Important safety information:

Cabergoline may cause drowsiness or dizziness. These effects may be worse if you take it with alcohol or certain medicines. Use cabergoline with caution. Do not drive or perform other possibly unsafe tasks until you know how you react to it.

Cabergoline may cause dizziness, light-headedness, or fainting; alcohol, hot weather, exercise, or fever may increase these effects. To prevent them, sit up or stand slowly, especially in the morning. Sit or lie down at the first sign of any of these effects.

* Some patients taking cabergoline have developed certain behavioral changes (eg, increased gambling or sexual urges).* These effects usually go away when treatment with cabergoline is stopped. Contact your doctor right away if you notice any unusual behavioral changes.

If you think you may be pregnant, contact your doctor so that a pregnancy test can be arranged.

Lab tests, including chest x-rays, blood prolactin levels, and heart and kidney function, may be performed while you use cabergoline. These tests may be used to monitor your condition or check for side effects. Be sure to keep all doctor and lab appointments.

Cabergoline should be used with extreme caution in CHILDREN; safety and effectiveness in children have not been confirmed.

PREGNANCY and BREAST-FEEDING: If you become pregnant, contact your doctor. You will need to discuss the benefits and risks of using cabergoline while you are pregnant. It is not known if cabergoline is found in breast milk. Do not breast-feed while taking cabergoline.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

The common side effects are common to a lot of drugs.

But...



> Lab tests, including chest x-rays, blood prolactin levels, and heart and kidney function, may be performed while you use cabergoline. These tests may be used to monitor your condition or check for side effects. Be sure to keep all doctor and lab appointments.


This is concerning...


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

What's normal?

In statistics, what's usually classified as "normal" for a Gaussian distribution is mean +/- 3 sigma. This encompasses 98% of the population.

So what is the mean and standard deviation for sexual urges? Until I see a histogram, I don't know how to answer that question. I don't know if that study even exists.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I don't think there is an answer just yet. But we can surmise what's reasonable when we take into account evolutionary biology and combine that with modern culture.

It's reasonable to think a females sex drive would be relatively tied to her ovulation. Since a woman can conceive during approximately ten days out of a 28 days cycle, since sperm stays viable within the cervix and uterus for about 2 days, it would be reasonable to predict a female would want to have sex about 5 times during a 28 day cycle.

Now you can add in extra times for positives in her life and marriage, then take away times for when she experiences negatives that might impact her sex drive. Personally, I think it's probably a wash.

So a healthy female should be reasonably expected to want to have sex about 5 times a month.

** disclaimer! it's been a LONG time since I learned fertile time and viable times....I could be off or science could be much better at pinpointing fertile times. So take above numbers with a large grain of salt.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I don't think there is an answer just yet. But we can surmise what's reasonable when we take into account evolutionary biology and combine that with modern culture.
> 
> It's reasonable to think a females sex drive would be relatively tied to her ovulation. Since a woman can conceive during approximately ten days out of a 28 days cycle, since sperm stays viable within the cervix and uterus for about 2 days, it would be reasonable to predict a female would want to have sex about 5 times during a 28 day cycle.
> 
> ...


I am sorry ,butI I am NOT a female that over thinks things :scratchhead: like sex. We marry men don't think about it just do it.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Cletus said:


> What's normal?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Six Sigma has destroyed many a company, I can see how it can destroy sex, too...

To define "Normal" one would need to group for age, race, marital status, ethnicity, income, and the like, then throw the whole thing in SPSS and hope for the best.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> There is something wrong when a person has no sex drive. The drive to procreate is super strong and we evolved that way to ensure the survival of the species. The drive to survive is also super strong and hard wired to ensure our survival. We know beyond a doubt that when the drive to survive stops, there is something terribly wrong. So it goes to follow that if the drive to procreate disappears, there is something terribly wrong.


Sorry but sex is not about procreating. It may have been during the Neanderthal times but not in 2013 as we don't live in stone age anymore. Drive to survive is about being fed and staying alive not about sex.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

rush said:


> well 1 would not do that, usually puts my wife at ease


I think there's something terribly wrong if you must intoxicate your wife to get her to have sex with you.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

NovellaBiers said:


> Sorry but sex is not about procreating. It may have been during the Neanderthal times but not in 2013 as we don't live in stone age anymore. Drive to survive is about being fed and staying alive not about sex.



Sex is emotional food...


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

john117 said:


> Sex is emotional food...


As is doing sports, playing chess, listening music or watching soap operas...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

NovellaBiers said:


> Sorry but sex is not about procreating. It may have been during the Neanderthal times but not in 2013 as we don't live in stone age anymore. Drive to survive is about being fed and staying alive not about sex.


Seriously? :lol: on the slim chance you are an adult and not some 7th grader...

Then what is the driving force that keeps us from being able to kill ourselves by holding our breath? What is that innate fear we experience when standing too close to the edge of a tall building? What is the biological reason for physical pain? It is the innate drive to survive that keeps us from harming ourselves or causing pain, which may lead to death.

Sex, and the drive to have sex, is based on the drive to procreate. All living organisms have this innate, automatic, and hard wired drive to procreate and drive to survive, from viruses to mammals. It is how species evolved and survived. Animals do not "decide" to have sex, the are driven to copulate and it is predicated on the fertile cycle of the female of the species.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

over20 said:


> I am sorry ,but*I I am NOT a female that over thinks things* :scratchhead: like sex. We marry men don't think about it just do it.


Yes, that is painfully obvious.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

All living things in general as a whole do have a drive to procreate and humans do that just fine but that does not mean that every individual wants sex all the time. 

Women are only fertile for a short period once a month so procreation could be accomplished with as little as one act per month, Once they are pregnant there should (logically?) be no drive until they are ready to conceive again. And once the mission to procreate has been accomplished why would they have more sexual desire?

NovellaBiers is half right, sex is about procreating but it is also about pleasure and bonding. Most of the sex humans have is not for purpose of procreation.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

usmarriedguy said:


> All living things in general as a whole do have a drive to procreate and humans do that just fine but that does not mean that every individual wants sex all the time.
> 
> Women are only fertile for a short period once a month so procreation could be accomplished with as little as one act per month, Once they are pregnant there should (logically?) be no drive until they are ready to conceive again. And once the mission to procreate has been accomplished why would they have more sexual desire?
> 
> NovellaBiers is half right, sex is about procreating but it is also about pleasure and bonding. Most of the sex humans have is not for purpose of procreation.


:banghead:Oy vey! 

You are arguing the preciseness of a "reasonable guesstimate."

My reasonable quesstimate was on a healthy woman's reasonable sex drive, NOT how a healthy woman views sex!

Please acquaint yourself with the difference between drive and decision and how operant conditioning affects decision.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

NovellaBiers said:


> As is doing sports, playing chess, listening music or watching soap operas...



I have an excellent rating in backgammon, probably enough to become a professional player in Las Vegas (Dr. John's dark secret ) and spend a good amount of time playing games of all types. I would not consider it emotional food as I do not make or maintain any connection with my opponents. I also listen to music with a considerable collection of very eclectic music - likewise.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Reasonable sex drive?

You said it is reasonable that people should want sex because they want to procreate -while I agree with you, I pointed out that procreation only requires very little sex. (theoretically as little as once in a lifetime)

You are trying to justify higher drive as being normal because people want to procreate. While I would also agree that some desire for sex is in fact normal I disagree that the primary motivating factor is procreation.

Also within any species you will find a range of behaviors. That is also normal and the way life on earth has evolved. So while some individual is on one far end of the other in range that is not abnormal.


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

The so-called "seven year itch" happens because of a woman's drive to have diversity in her offspring. After 7 years the child was able to fend for himself, he was able to walk, run and fight reasonably, and the mother was able to look for another mate to procreate with. Throughout the ages and with the invention of religion this urge was stifled, now it manifests today in the "ILYBNILWY" speech. This is why women do have a higher sex drive earlier in the relationship.

There are many things that humans are driven to do instinctly as their ancestors were, but we have marriage laws that prevent this. Staying with the same partner for 15-20 or more years is not in our human DNA, we were meant to copulate with different partners. So if you say that sex is a driving force for human survival, I agree. But there were other aspects of that which we don't want to practice because it will mean multiple partners. Open marriages are more natural than monogamous marriages.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Seriously? :lol: on the slim chance you are an adult and not some 7th grader...
> 
> Then what is the driving force that keeps us from being able to kill ourselves by holding our breath? What is that innate fear we experience when standing too close to the edge of a tall building? What is the biological reason for physical pain? It is the innate drive to survive that keeps us from harming ourselves or causing pain, which may lead to death.
> 
> Sex, and the drive to have sex, is based on the drive to procreate. All living organisms have this innate, automatic, and hard wired drive to procreate and drive to survive, from viruses to mammals. It is how species evolved and survived. Animals do not "decide" to have sex, the are driven to copulate and it is predicated on the fertile cycle of the female of the species.


I am going to be the better person and ignore your poor attempt to insult with the age remarks.

First, we are talking about humans (**** sapiens or **** sapiens sapiens) not animals. If you think your last paragraph is true how do you explain homosexuality? Two women do not have sex to procreate... Your theory about "healthy" women needing sperm to have five times sex a month is simply ridiculous. :rofl: Or are you saying gay women are not healthy?


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

john117 said:


> I have an excellent rating in backgammon, probably enough to become a professional player in Las Vegas (Dr. John's dark secret ) and spend a good amount of time playing games of all types. I would not consider it emotional food as I do not make or maintain any connection with my opponents. I also listen to music with a considerable collection of very eclectic music - likewise.


This does not explain how you connected this "emotional food" with survival though.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

usmarriedguy said:


> Reasonable sex drive?
> 
> You said it is reasonable that people should *want* sex because they *want* to procreate -while I agree with you, I pointed out that procreation only requires very little sex. (theoretically as little as once in a lifetime)
> 
> ...


I say again, please acquaint yourself with the differnce between drive and decision. I will add that it might be wise to actually read my post and note the actual words contained therein.




NovellaBiers said:


> I am going to be the better person and ignore your poor attempt to insult with the age remarks.
> 
> First, we are talking about humans (**** sapiens or **** sapiens sapiens) not animals. If you think your last paragraph is true how do you explain homosexuality? Two women do not have sex to procreate... Your theory about "healthy" women needing sperm to have five times sex a month is simply ridiculous. :rofl: Or are you saying gay women are not healthy?


See my above comments re "drive vs decision." Secondly, whether one is sexually attracted to same sex or not, the inate DRIVE to procreate is the evolutionary foundation for all sex drives. We are all hard wired to have this sex drive because it ensures the species survival.

Geeshe, I can't believe this has to be explained?:scratchhead:


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Threadjack! Take cover!


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Oh I don't know if that is strictly off topic Fozzy. This is a thread titled "Women's libido drug" 

That would call into question what is normal and the validity of using drugs to change sexual behavior. 

Unlike your post -ours where at least somewhat on topic.
And now we are really off topic -so thank you.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> See my above comments re "drive vs decision." Secondly, whether one is sexually attracted to same sex or not, the inate DRIVE to procreate is the evolutionary foundation for all sex drives. We are all hard wired to have this sex drive because it ensures the species survival.
> 
> Geeshe, I can't believe this has to be explained?:scratchhead:


Seems you are backing out of your original statement. You said healthy women need sperm to have a sex drive... what five times a month? At what point gay women eat sperm then? As far as I know women can't produce any. So here your theory fails. Not everyone has a drive to procreate, you just need to accept that. We just have sex because it feels good. Yes, even women have sex just because they can and it's fun.

Fozzy, what we are talking about is RIGHT ON topic.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

NovellaBiers said:


> Seems you are backing out of your original statement. *You said healthy women need sperm to have a sex drive... *what five times a month? At what point gay women eat sperm then? As far as I know women can't produce any. So here your theory fails. Not everyone has a drive to procreate, you just need to accept that. We just have sex because it feels good. Yes, even women have sex just because they can and it's fun.


Please quote my post in which I stated the bold?



merriam-Webster.com said:


> Obtuse: the quality or state of lacking intelligence or quickness of mind <our guest's obtuseness was such that he failed to take even the broadest hint that it was time to leave>
> Synonyms boneheadedness, brainlessness, denseness, density, dim-wittedness, doltishness, dopiness, dorkiness, dullness (also dulness), dumbness, fatuity, foolishness, gormlessness [chiefly British], mindlessness, oafishness, obtuseness, senselessness, simpleness, slowness, stupidness, thickness, vacuity, weak-mindedness, witlessness


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Please quote my post in which I stated the bold?





Anon Pink said:


> Since a woman can conceive during approximately ten days out of a 28 days cycle, *since sperm stays viable within the cervix and uterus for about 2 days, it would be reasonable to predict a female would want to have sex about 5 times during a 28 day cycle.*
> 
> Now you can add in extra times for positives in her life and marriage, then take away times for when she experiences negatives that might impact her sex drive. Personally, I think it's probably a wash.
> 
> ...


That's what is called "junk science".

PS. your attempts at insulting me have no effect besides I think they are against the forum rules.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Ok guys, you win. I have better things to do with my Saturday than get into an internet p*ssing match. Cheers!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I asked you to quote me on this...



NovellaBiers said:


> You said *healthy women need sperm to have a sex drive.*..


You failed to do this and instead misinterpreted what I did say. 

Posting the definition of obtuseness could be seen as an insult, or it could be seen as educational.

Baiting for the purpose of extending an argument or disagreement is also against forum rules.

Yet I can't decide if you are baiting or being deliberately obtuse. I'm going to go with baiting and wish you a good day.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I asked you to quote me on this...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This has nothing to do with "baiting" and you know it. Instead of getting angry why don't you explain it again because you clearly state in the above quote of your post that the presence of sperm _"since sperm stays viable within the cervix and uterus for about 2 days"_ would cause women to have a sex drive for five times sex a month _"it would be reasonable to predict a female would want to have sex about 5 times during a 28 day cycle."_

Then you proceed to conclude that when the mentioned circumstances are met (presence of sperm in cervix/uterus and ovulation), only healthy women would do this _"a healthy female should be reasonably expected to want to have sex about 5 times a month."_

How can that be interpreted otherwise? Note that gay women do not have sperm in their cervix/uteruses.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

By the same token a lot of science is junk science.

Women's desire is not easy to quantify or measure. The physiological changes are a lot more subtle, so one ends up having to rely on direct observation (ie Masters & Johnson) or self reporting (Kinsey)

My field of work is just as fuzzy but I don't recall anyone considering it junk science. Science is all about making a hypothesis, setting up an experiment, proving or disproving it, having it peer reviewed and repeated by others, then it becomes "science". Anon's claim is a reasonable one based on a lot of evidence. Is it true to the standard that could get one published in Nature? I wish I knew, but I have written papers and got funding for things that were more far fetched than that


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

john117 said:


> By the same token a lot of science is junk science.
> 
> Women's desire is not easy to quantify or measure. The physiological changes are a lot more subtle, so one ends up having to rely on direct observation (ie Masters & Johnson) or self reporting (Kinsey)
> 
> My field of work is just as fuzzy but I don't recall anyone considering it junk science. Science is all about making a hypothesis, setting up an experiment, proving or disproving it, having it peer reviewed and repeated by others, then it becomes "science". Anon's claim is a reasonable one based on a lot of evidence. Is it true to the standard that could get one published in Nature? I wish I knew, but I have written papers and got funding for things that were more far fetched than that


What evidence is that? If you can post links to said evidence it would be nice. If you agree with AP and since he/she, in the fear of losing forum-face, bailed out with an excuse without explaining can you explain how it applies to gay women, asexuals etc. as they practically disprove the theory. There is a lot of old "science" that is considered junk science today. Even as young science that's only 20-30 years old.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

There is plenty of evidence to suggest correlation between the monthly cycle peaks around ovulation time and sexual desire. In people, animals, etc. So any hypothesis that begins with that has some built in credibility to begin with. 

Second, we have also seen the impact of medications on sexual desire (from BC to HRT) so that set of facts is added to the model.

From A and B it would not be unreasonable to take the days in a month that a woman is physiologically in higher desire and for practical reasons spread them around a month (nice random pick). It would suck grande to have sex for say 5-6 days in a row then nada :rofl:

The above is as valid a hypothesis as I can think of. The leap of 5 consecutive days in a month vs 5 days in a month could be established or not with any type of statistical methodology (Kinsey style). As I said, I've written proposals for funding on less hard evidence. That is how science works.

Then you get into the societal analysis part which considers weeks as units, and a month having 4-5 weeks is convenient etc. One would have to correct for stay at home versus work, children, age, ethnicity, etc but it's doable. 

The trick part would be to get the research published and peer reviewed and duplicated. But overall, I don't find Anon's statement too radical or too unbelievable.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

You are talking only about the ovulation which is true of course and not even questioned here and even gay women ovulate(!). The junk science part which I'm questioning is this:


Anon Pink said:


> since sperm stays viable within the cervix and uterus for about 2 days it would be reasonable to predict a female would want to have sex about 5 times during a 28 day cycle.


Anon Pink clearly set it so that the five times only occurs _because_ of the "sperm in the cervix and uterus". Can you say with straight face that ridiculous statement is science. 

It is a shame she just decided to avoid the question and after few attempts at insulting exited stage left with a bad excuse.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Anon, IMO, we do not have sex to procreate. And I have no science to use to back me up. It is simply my own feeling about sexuality. I'm a highly sexual person and I always have been...and yet, I still intuitively know that some people do not have a high drive for partnered sex the way I do, and some have no drive for it, and this is NORMAL for human beings.

I have known personally so many people who have no sex drive or very little, and there is NOTHING WRONG with them. They need to be accepted as they are. If human life and interactions were only about biological urges, then sure, these people might not procreate. But so what? Most species will deliberately stop procreating if their area is over-populated. It is just that our species will just stop procreating, but not stop having sex.

We have "evolved" to know how to have sex without procreation. Whether it is God, or Mother Nature, or random design, or complete randomness...it is still a fact. Some of us can now purposefully and deliberately pursue sexual encounters that will never cause pregnancy and we rejoice in it. I'm gonna call that the progress of the human species.

BUT...along the way, some of us simply do not have the urge to even have the non-pregnancy sex very often. This variation seems to have risen organically in our species, IMO. It feels right to me. The people I've known with no sex drive are just as normal and human as I am.

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org

Not saying all LD people are asexual. I'm just saying, at that end of the spectrum, asexuality needs to be understood and accepted. From there, we go on up through to HD and hyper sexual. All are valid. Why is it so hard to accept this?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I would certainly entertain the idea that sperm - or any substance - would act to increase libido. As this is something that can be duplicated under controlled conditions and proven or disproven I would not reject it out of hand.

There is a big difference between making a hypothesis and accepting it. In my field we basically can prove very little by physical evidence alone. We have to make a hypothesis, then design clever little experiments, run them, do the analysis, and hope they make sense.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

john117 said:


> I would certainly entertain the idea that sperm - or any substance - would act to increase libido. As this is something that can be duplicated under controlled conditions and proven or disproven I would not reject it out of hand.
> 
> There is a big difference between making a hypothesis and accepting it. In my field we basically can prove very little by physical evidence alone. We have to make a hypothesis, then design clever little experiments, run them, do the analysis, and hope they make sense.


If this is true where is the proof? Surely men would drink sperm too if it had such qualities.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

NovellaBiers said:


> This has nothing to do with "baiting" and you know it. Instead of getting angry why don't you explain it again because you clearly state in the above quote of your post that the presence of sperm _"since sperm stays viable within the cervix and uterus for about 2 days"_ would cause women to have a sex drive for five times sex a month _"it would be reasonable to predict a female would want to have sex about 5 times during a 28 day cycle."_
> 
> Then you proceed to conclude that when the mentioned circumstances are met (presence of sperm in cervix/uterus and ovulation), only healthy women would do this _"a healthy female should be reasonably expected to want to have sex about 5 times a month."_
> 
> How can that be interpreted otherwise? Note that gay women do not have sperm in their cervix/uteruses.


Anon Pink is correct, and the science is far from junk. You are misinterpreting what she's saying - I'm not sure why you don't comprehend her point. As for your issue with gay women, EVOLUTION has determined the optimum sexual frequency regardless of sexual orientation. It's not the sperm itself, but the evolved behavior.


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Anon, IMO, we do not have sex to procreate. And I have no science to use to back me up. It is simply my own feeling about sexuality. I'm a highly sexual person and I always have been...and yet, I still intuitively know that some people do not have a high drive for partnered sex the way I do, and some have no drive for it, and this is NORMAL for human beings.
> 
> I have known personally so many people who have no sex drive or very little, and there is NOTHING WRONG with them. They need to be accepted as they are. If human life and interactions were only about biological urges, then sure, these people might not procreate. But so what? Most species will deliberately stop procreating if their area is over-populated. It is just that our species will just stop procreating, but not stop having sex.
> 
> ...


Humans are very complex beings, we evoluted so far from where we started. Then we added religion and things really got complex from there. I don't know why it is so hard for some to accept asexuality as normal as HD. I think that society is hypersexual while it still misguides our youth about sexuality. I hope we get to the place of accepting all levels of libido, then people will be more honest with one another when entering a serious relationship because there would be no shame in revealing who we are.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Anon Pink is correct, and the science is far from junk. You are misinterpreting what she's saying - I'm not sure why you don't comprehend her point. As for your issue with gay women, EVOLUTION has determined the optimum sexual frequency regardless of sexual orientation. It's not the sperm itself, but the evolved behavior.


What do you base this assumption on? Do you have a link to evidence that shows with no doubt that sperm has an effect increasing sex drive? If you do not then your statement is just another folk lore statement. AP cleary stated that the "sperm effect" lasting 2 days is enough for 5 times sex inside 28 day cycle during ovulation (for healthy women only though) and the rest of the month it's just "headache" I presume?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Researchers are already looking at the question... http://zeenews.india.com/news/health/sexual/semen-protein-alters-female-behaviour_18833.html

To prove it without a doubt would require your usual experimental process setup, etc, etc. 

The bottom line is that there exists enough evidence in the scientific literature to at least suggest a link.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

john117 said:


> Researchers are already looking at the question... Semen protein `alters` female behaviour
> 
> To prove it without a doubt would require your usual experimental process setup, etc, etc.
> 
> The bottom line is that there exists enough evidence in the scientific literature to at least suggest a link.





> For the study, researchers investigated *fruit flies*,


Yes, indeed that is a proof human females are affected too. I mean, really??? :scratchhead:









Since female squirrels eat pine cones do you suspect human females can eat and digest them too?

PS. and that news link is from a country where women get gang raped and murdered brutally in public busses.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

*No where did I state that we have sex to procreate. 

No where did I state that sperm has ANY effect on sex drive.* 

That is a social/cultural construct. I stated that the drive to have sex is based on the drive to procreate. Socially and culturally, we have applied meaning to the drive to copulate. 

Read my post again. Then do you own educating. Don't worry, 11 grade health class should cover everything you clearly aren't able to comprehend.

What Is Libido? (with picture)

http://www.spi.ox.ac.uk/fileadmin/d..._socioanthropology_of_human_reproductionx.pdf

Biological imperative - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Here's the cure:

PT-141 Bremalanotide

PT141 Bremelanotide How to Mix and Use the Libido Drug for Men and Women - YouTube


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> *No where did I state that we have sex to procreate.
> 
> No where did I state that sperm has ANY effect on sex drive.*
> 
> ...


Instead of repeating your childish insults explain what do you mean with this line:


Anon Pink said:


> Since a woman can conceive during approximately ten days out of a 28 days cycle, since sperm stays viable within the cervix and uterus for about 2 days, it would be reasonable to predict a female would want to have sex about 5 times during a 28 day cycle.
> 
> So a healthy female should be reasonably expected to want to have sex about 5 times a month.


Here you state that when sperm, according to you is unviable after 2 days, a healthy woman would want to have sex again. You are either claiming she would want to have sex to have sperm in her uterus or only have sex to have babies. It's clear you tie the want to have sex to the presence of man's sperm in the woman's uterus. How do you apply this folk lore to gay women is still a mystery to us.

PS. any 11th grader would know that the increased women's libido during ovulation is mainly because increased levels of *testosterone *in women's body, which women produce all by themselves. That's right, the "male" hormone.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

> PS. any 11th grader would know that the increased women's libido during ovulation is mainly because increased levels of testosterone in women's body, which women produce all by themselves. That's right, the "male" hormone.


I must of missed 11th grade, thanks for telling all us women this, something we all should know! :rofl:


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

My daughters learned the scientific method of formulating a hypothesis, setting up an experiment, proving or disproving the hypothesis, and the peer review process etc long before 11th grade...


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

LadyDee said:


> I must of missed 11th grade, thanks for telling all us women this, something we all should know! :rofl:


Fire up Google and type: "libido". BTW. I did not say this is learned in 11th grade, I said every 11th grader (who can use Google) would know this. It was a reference to Anon Pink insinuating that I must be 11th grader. I must have made an impression because he/she upgraded me from 7th grader after only a couple of posts!


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

NovellaBiers said:


> Fire up Google and type: "libido". BTW. I did not say this is learned in 11th grade, I said every 11th grader (who can use Google) would know this. It was a reference to Anon Pink insinuating that I must be 11th grader. I must have made an impression because he/she upgraded me from 7th grader after only a couple of posts!


No need to fire up anything, I am well aware what ALL the female hormones do and where they come from, that part of your post was insulting to the women here on TAM.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

LadyDee said:


> No need to fire up anything, I am well aware what ALL the female hormones do and where they come from, that part of your post was insulting to the women here on TAM.


More insulting than claiming male sperm is needed every two days in your uterus so you can have sex five times during your ten day ovulation before your libido goes to zero again? :scratchhead:

Interesting perspective.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Some men or women have low sex drives "LD" due to being abused as a child, raped, being taught by parents and / or their faith that sex is bad or only for procreation, perhaps they're bigger and insecure and over many years gotten used to that, but its how they were raised and what they experienced.

Same with those who are high sex drives "HD" due to perhaps having friends who viewed porn at a young age, seeing people having sex when they were very young, having sexual experiences with the baby sitter, perhaps abused, etc. Again, how they were raised, and what they experienced.

My wifee is LD due to her very conservative parents, so she is, she was treated badly by her ex, so now she is insecure and doesn't want sex much at all and her size also makes her insecure.

I am HD because I had HD friends, they showed my porn on VCR tapes and when the internet was first on the scene. I remember accidentally saw my friends parents walking naked and having sex. I was raised that sex is for procreation and nothing before marriage making it much worse.

Increased test levels in men make us even hornier. Increases test levels in women do the same thing.

We get in the mood due to stimulation, what we see, hear, and experience. Everywhere you look, it's sex, sex, sex. Models, beaches, women wearing sexy outfits and shoes, makeup, flirting, teasing, tv commercials and shows, movies, it's everywhere. If we eliminated all this, would we be as horny, no. It's what we experience and have and are being exposed to that influences our sex drives. Drugs, we'll, they do wonders for us guys (test boosters) and eventually there will be drugs for the ladies to boost their sex drives.

I've heard that male saliva and sperm have some test in them and that might raise the female sex drive.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> I've heard that male saliva and sperm have some test in them and that might raise the female sex drive.


It's folk lore/hear say not based on any facts. You know Roman men used to eat raw bull testicles for the same reason and it was all junk science based on nothing.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

NovellaBiers said:


> Fire up Google and type: "libido". BTW. I did not say this is learned in 11th grade, I said every 11th grader (who can use Google) would know this. It was a reference to Anon Pink *insinuating that I must be 11th grader. I must have made an impression because he/she upgraded me from 7th grader* after only a couple of posts!


Your reading comprehension is very poor. 

I said 11 grade health class *should*... "Should" is future tense, not present tense. You haven't been upgraded.

You choose deliberate obtuseness and misinterpret almost everything posted. Anyone who calls you out for it is now subject to you targeting them to further baiting by you.

You don't respond to a direct challenge but fire a challenge back instead.

:scratchhead: I can't imagine what you're getting out if this thread since you haven't actually contributed anything to it? Why do you keep coming back?


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Your reading comprehension is very poor.
> 
> I said 11 grade health class *should*... "Should" is future tense, not present tense. You haven't been upgraded.
> 
> ...


I have contributed facts actually based on science and not on folk lore or religious beliefs like you. You obviously just come back to insult some more since you keep redirecting your posts off-topic avoiding the question and can't admit you were wrong. Pride is a bad thing when you have it too much.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

To introduce a little levity.

My son found my wife's Maca root tablets yesterday. She is taking them to help her libido following menopause.


He said, "I'm going to throw these damn things away, it might stop those disgusting sounds that come from your bedroom."


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

First, I haven't posted anything based on religious beliefs, I'm an atheist. That would be you misinterpreting what I have written.

Second, I haven't posted anything based on folklore either. That would again be you misinterpreting what I have written.

Third, your posts have only been made to contradict what someone else has posted and your contradictions are based on you being obtuse and argumentative.

You supposed contribution...testosterone? Okay, let's follow that.

Why do women's bodies produce testosterone during the time of ovulation? Understanding what that hormone does in women, it goes to follow a woman's body naturally produces testosterone in order to promote sexual behavior during a time when she is likely to conceive. The biological imperative to have sex. She didn't choose testosterone, nor how that hormone affects her behavior. She is not consciously seeking sex during that time in order to conceive. She is feeling the effects of that hormone and they are an evolutionary survival tactic. The female must be receptive to sex during a time when she is likely to conceive if the species is going to survive.

Let me know when you've got that concept down and we can progress from there.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> To introduce a little levity.
> 
> My son found my wife's Maca root tablets yesterday. She is taking them to help her libido following menopause.
> 
> ...


:lol:

When my adult daughter comes home and spends the night, she brings a noisy fan with her because she sleeps in the bedroom right next to ours. Makes a point of saying, make sure you start my fan when you guys go to bed...keeps me from hearing nightmare inducing sounds.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> First, I haven't posted anything based on religious beliefs, I'm an atheist. That would be you misinterpreting what I have written.
> 
> Second, I haven't posted anything based on folklore either. That would again be you misinterpreting what I have written.
> 
> ...


How about you stop avoiding the questions and start answering instead of insulting me and we go from there? You have added an insult in every post directed at me now. You make a big revolutionary claim on a discussion forum and expect people to believe you without questions asked? You have tried to explain your quoted post zero times in this thread. This is not called baiting it's called discussion where other's challenge your unbelievable theory. You don't seem to have very good social skills since you can't stand any differing views from your own.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

NovellaBiers said:


> How about you stop avoiding the questions and start answering instead of insulting me and we go from there? You have added an insult in every post directed at me now. You make a big revolutionary claim on a discussion forum and expect people to believe you without questions asked? You have tried to explain your quoted post zero times in this thread. This is not called baiting it's called discussion where other's challenge your unbelievable theory. You don't seem to have very good social skills since you can't stand any differing views from your own.



Everyone has their views and opinions.

Respect them and quit attacking and making people feel like idiots.

If you don't agree, go to another post or don't say anything.

You're coming across as a mr.science know it all....

Positive constructive posts.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

NovellaBiers said:


> How about you stop avoiding the questions and start answering instead of insulting me and we go from there? You have added an insult in every post directed at me now. You make a big revolutionary claim on a discussion forum and expect people to believe you without questions asked? You have tried to explain your quoted post zero times in this thread. This is not called baiting it's called discussion where other's challenge your unbelievable theory. You don't seem to have very good social skills since you can't stand any differing views from your own.


And you have deliberately misunderstood, and misattributed everything I have written and anyone else silly enough to respond to you.

No, I haven't made any revolutionary claim. Not big, not small, not a claim. If you had read the thread you would notice I was responding to


Cletus said:


> What's normal?
> 
> In statistics, what's usually classified as "normal" for a Gaussian distribution is mean +/- 3 sigma. This encompasses 98% of the population.
> 
> So what is the mean and standard deviation for sexual urges? Until I see a histogram, I don't know how to answer that question. I don't know if that study even exists.


My post, the one that started you on your mission to argue was a statement on a reasonable guesstimate. Not a claim, not a statement of fact, but an extrapolation from facts, to a theory which is untestable and therefor just an idea. 

Note the very first line in that post...



Anon Pink said:


> I don't think there is an answer just yet. But we can surmise what's reasonable when we take into account evolutionary biology and combine that with modern culture.


So, going back to Cletus's post, he asked for a baseline on what is normal and I responded and gave a theory on what might be normal based on other science, notably evolutionary biology.

Now, in order for you to understand what I said about ovulation and the viability of sperm, you must first understand evolutionary biology and the biological imperative for the species to survive. You mentioned testosterone in women. That's part of the biological imperative.

Let me know if you understand this so far and I will continue.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Another new pill for post-menopausal women, just recently FDA approved Osphena, marketed as the Pill that will save your sex life for some with specific issues, not the answer to get HORMONES in the optimal range and not a cure all for libido problems.

Osphena? (Ospemifene) Tablets | Official Site



The Pill That Will Save Your Sex Life, Pt 1 | The Dr. Oz Show


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> Everyone has their views and opinions.
> 
> Respect them and quit attacking and making people feel like idiots.
> 
> ...


You missed that this is not a matter of opinion. We are talking about science here. Read the title again please. And now it's ME attacking? Right. Maybe you missed all the insults Anon Pink has been directing at me in every post. He/she is wrong simple as that. If you can't accept it YOU go to another post and stop acting as a forum police. You are no authority to say what I do. This seems like a common issue of high post count forum member unable to accept that their post count does not mean they are always right.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> And you have deliberately misunderstood, and misattributed everything I have written and anyone else silly enough to respond to you.
> 
> No, I haven't made any revolutionary claim. Not big, not small, not a claim. If you had read the thread you would notice I was responding to
> 
> ...


Yet you have failed to explain and avoid answering how do you think male sperm in uterus has something to do with the frequency a woman wants to have sex during ovulation. Yes, you linked these two things in your post. This is a very simple question, not an attack. Why do you refuse to answer?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I have some choice comments about the lady in the website 

Seriously, does anyone else find the warnings a bit, ehem, too strong?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Aribabe? Dallas apple? Hmm I'm not sure. But the posting style is very familiar.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Aribabe? Dallas apple? Hmm I'm not sure. But the posting style is very familiar.


I was thinking Diwali123. Dallas was quite prolific in her argument. Don't remember Aribabe.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

You are delusional. :scratchhead:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

power and money seems to be womens libido drug.

if your the man and wheeled pwer with a pocket full of cash then you will get more pu$$y than the average guy.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> power and money seems to be womens libido drug.
> 
> if your the man and wheeled pwer with a pocket full of cash then you will get more pu$$y than the average guy.


Middle aged man with an ample tummy goes into the gym.

"Which machine should I use to most impress the ladies?" he asked the instructor.

The instructor looked him up and down and said "If I was you sir, I'd use the ATM by the front door."


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> power and money seems to be womens libido drug.
> 
> if your the man and wheeled pwer with a pocket full of cash then you will get more pu$$y than the average guy.


Depends.

Are you talking about random pvssy or pvssy in a relationship?

A tall, handsome and confident man will get more random pvssy. ETA, if he wants it.

Just as men desire conventionally beautiful women, women desire conventionally handsome men.

A good average man in a healthy relationship will get just as much pvssy as Mr Moneybags, possibly more.

The allure of money will wear off pretty quickly once they get their hands on it.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Doesn't seem to affect Hugh. Though the lines get blurred when money is involved at what point is it considered prostitution.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Hugh who?

:rofl: Yoo hoo!


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

Hefner?


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

How do you mean doesn't affect him?


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

This thread is pretty funny. The original topic is about a drug that could possibly increase a woman's libido. While I think that all drugs should be carefully scrutinized by anyone before taking them, I can see a benefit to some women. 

The only women it will help are those who see their low drive as a problem. The rest, forget it. As we have already seen in this thread, some women not only do not want sex, they don't want to want it. They will actively resist any suggestion that their drive could be increased. I don't see that as necessarily wrong or evil, but if they are in relationships with men who DO want sex it for sure is a problem.

As a man who feels that compromise and generosity are critical (and desirable) in a marriage, it troubles me that some people will put up barriers to meeting their spouse's need and then dismiss that which could eliminate the barrier. If that's how you feel, why are you in a relationship? Can you imagine if the husband refused to work because of back pain and then refused to even consider a new therapy to cure back pain? He would be called all manner of unflattering things and ridiculed if he said, "I want society to accept me with my back pain and refusal to work."

This drug may or may not work. The side effects may or may not bee far too dangerous. I don't know. What I do know is that if you are a man with a LD partner who feels that their desire is normal and should just be accepted, you are wasting your time even reading about such drugs. Accept the fact that your needs will never be met or move on and find someone with a more compatible sex drive. 

The reason Viagra is so successful is that there are so many men who want to have sex but could not due to impotence. Problem solved. If there was a pill that could decrease a man's desire for sex how many of you would take it? I would not. I like sex and I don't want to stop liking it. Just as some people hate sex and don't want to stop hating it.


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## NovellaBiers (Dec 11, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> How do you mean doesn't affect him?


I mean when the allure of money wears off he just gets a new "wife".


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> Depends.
> 
> Are you talking about random pvssy or pvssy in a relationship?
> 
> ...


What if Mr Handsome also has some money? I think they will go to the "nice" confident guy with the money, especially if he has the looks. Money represents resources and more freedom.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

techmom said:


> We are in a downward spiral at this time, both acts of service and sex are being neglected. For years I put so much effort in the sex department only to fall short. My performance in that area had to come first before any acts of service was performed. It was imbalanced.
> 
> I feel that my life was so much easier when I was the single 20 year old virgin, even though I love my son with all of my heart. I can take or leave sex, I don't really want that constant libido nagging at me.
> 
> ...


So if he had made that effort, how would your views on your LD be different?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Those who think that money and power are not an aphrodisiac to some women need to live where I live... A trophy wife is as de rigeur as the BMW or the nanny or the gardener or the country club.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

john117 said:


> Those who think that money and power are not an aphrodisiac to some women need to live where I live... A trophy wife is as de rigeur as the BMW or the nanny or the gardener or the country club.


You can have a trophy wife because you've got a wadge of money but it don't mean she is gonna be doing you instead of the young athletic pool guy.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

treyvion said:


> What if Mr Handsome also has some money? I think they will go to the "nice" confident guy with the money, especially if he has the looks. Money represents resources and more freedom.


We could do this all day. :rofl:

What if he's tall, handsome confident, moneyed and good with kids?
What if he is all of the above and a superb lover?

Etc etc.

Just saying that generally women sexually desire men that they find physically attractive.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> You can have a trophy wife because you've got a wadge of money but it don't mean she is gonna be doing you instead of the young athletic pool guy.



Based on my 12 years of living among the 2% she's not doing the pool guy but she's indeed doing someone, and vice versa. Lots of affairs around us.

Typical men do their underlings at work and women do social connections as few of them work outside the house. 

It's a fairly repeatable cycle and now that I think about it it's not difficult to tell during PTO meetings who's getting it on with hubby and who is in jeopardy of becoming a has been.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> We could do this all day. :rofl:
> 
> What if he's tall, handsome confident, moneyed and good with kids?
> What if he is all of the above and a superb lover?
> ...


Whether he deposits sperm in them or not.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Money is a plus also


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

WyshIknew said:


> Depends.
> 
> Are you talking about random pvssy or pvssy in a relationship?
> 
> ...


lol I see lot of frumpy men with good looking women.

and the allure of money should be used like the allure of Pu$$y. got to play the game. can't give all your resources away got to keep them begging just like they do.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

There are a lot of material women out there, I did not even think of money when I met my wife, some ask first hand, income, job, securities.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

my ex was wealthy.It was nice and enjoyable until I grew up and realized he didn't really give a sh*t about me.Then the money was a burden as was f**king him.
I think somehow if I was single now I'd be dead set against a man with money.So many of them think they own you just bc they've got a fat bank account.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> my ex was wealthy.It was nice and enjoyable until I grew up and realized he didn't really give a sh*t about me.Then the money was a burden as was f**king him.
> I think somehow if I was single now I'd be dead set against a man with money.So many of them think they own you just bc they've got a fat bank account.


Wish all girls thought that way, I am not rich but me and my wife are happy together


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