# Change in sex styles means affairs ?



## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Does a spouse change in the way he had sex with me means he had affairs or he just got so deep into porn ? 

Like he started to switch on more lights n look at me more while in the act . N trying more positions . That was ok .

Then . Many times he seems to stroke my anal n i asked if he was trying to go for anal n he actually asked if i was keen to try . Later stages he started to have difficulty having an orgasm unless we had porn on while having sex . Then the dirty talk that's more vulgar than sexy . Like spraying over my face ? N asking to swallow all . 

Ive divorced my ex as there are other issues but i have always wondered about this . But since i have decided to divorce i didnt bother to spent money to find out . Didnt think it's worth it .

I just wonder if it's the porn or there were affairs .


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Sounds like he's been watching a lot of porn... more visual aspects (lights on, seeing his ejaculation, etc...), wanting to try anal.

If he was getting what he wanted from a side girl, he wouldn't be bothering you for it.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Not necessarily! If there has been a long dry spell of marital sex, it could only be some creative suggestion on the deprived marital partners part to try to spice things up a tad for the both of them, which could have been learned from their viewing of porn, greatly provided that that had become their primary sexual outlet in the absence of normal marital sexual relations.

Conversely, if there is a stray spouse covertly sleeping around on their partner, it could well be that what they've learned from their AP in their own sexual escapades is merely a carryover to the marital bed, because of the perception and thoughts of the surrogated sex acts performed with their illicit partner and the immense pleasure that it tends to provide to the cheating partner! And keeping in mind that any sex with their spouse is simply Plan B sex, and will summarily cease once their cover is blown or they have completely deserted the marriage!*


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sounds like too much porn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

Looks like he is getting ideas from pr0n but I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he wants to please you so is trying new things. This does not have to mean "too much" of it. I have looked online to see how I could please my wife better in the sack and I am not having an affair. It's always good to do some "research" 

Don't worry too much, just enjoy it. If you don't like some things gently tell him without hurting his feelings.


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

I agree with the others about it likely being porn. 

As someone who has had a bit of a problem with porn in the past, I can tell you that you need progressively more stimulation to "get there". I finally realized I had a problem when I began searching for increasingly weird stuff online and following links I probably shouldn't have. I'm no expert, but it sounds like porn to me.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

It's just as likely that he was bored with you as any of the other suggestions. Perhaps even more likely. That is, if tame things like turning the lights on, dirty talk, new positions and touching your anus were so novel to you that you wondered if he was cheating, then I suspect it may have gotten kind of boring after years in the dark, silent with the same ole positions as usual.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

What is wrong with spicing things up and exploring new things in a sexual relationship? If he was cheating his arse would hit the curb faster than he could get his pants back on but some porn, no big deal here.

Mr H like instructive porn and I get the benefit, win/win. We read sex manuals together in bed, we try new things. In the confines of a good, loving sexual relationship things should be changed, introduced without the fear of being blamed on cheating. The freer you feel with someone the freer you should feel in bed with them, it is one of the few parts of your life that you can really let go and enjoy the ride.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> It's just as likely that he was bored with you as any of the other suggestions. Perhaps even more likely. That is, if tame things like turning the lights on, dirty talk, new positions and touching your anus were so novel to you that you wondered if he was cheating, then I suspect it may have gotten kind of boring after years in the dark, silent with the same ole positions as usual.


No , I am not silent nor hate the lights . but bright lights ? i am a screamer . 

sexy talk ok . dirty vulgar talk ?

sorry no anal for me .

new positions ok for me . Ha I am the exhibitionist here , i like it in the public :nerd:>

but it is just the changes and other things . 

anyway like I said . there were other issues . i called for divorce .


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Holland said:


> What is wrong with spicing things up and exploring new things in a sexual relationship? If he was cheating his arse would hit the curb faster than he could get his pants back on but some porn, no big deal here.
> 
> Mr H like instructive porn and I get the benefit, win/win. We read sex manuals together in bed, we try new things. In the confines of a good, loving sexual relationship things should be changed, introduced without the fear of being blamed on cheating. The freer you feel with someone the freer you should feel in bed with them, it is one of the few parts of your life that you can really let go and enjoy the ride.


nothing wrong except I get the benefit once in 2-3 months !!!

I suggested watching it together and even suggested haha nurse costume ? sexy stuff . he turned away .


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## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

What age is he? In my 40s, I went through a kind of mid-life crisis and needed some new tricks in bed (often porn-inspired, but I don't see it in a bad way) to keep me stimulated. It helped me keep my interest in sex active...


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

I was gonna go with affair until i read that he couldnt get off unless porn was on and the vulgar talk (right out of a porn movie) so i'm going with porn too


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