# Childish?



## newlystepmommed (Nov 9, 2010)

Ok, this is what I see.
My husband, 45.. is high maintenance. Yes I said it. He needs his ego stroked CONSTANTLY.. Well, that may be an exaggeration.. but that's how I feel. He gets his feelings hurt WAY to easy. I'm not a steel bar.. but I am no where near as bad as he is. 
He doesn't know how to take my family. He has only been a part for a year and already he thinks they hate him so he just hates them right back. They don't hate him, they are just really selfish and don't really pay much attention to anyone outside of their direct household. UNLESS.. you call or come over or they are on vacation. I live over 700 miles away from my closest family member... what in the great gobs of gofer guts does he expect? Phone calls constantly..? I don't even like them that much!
SO, my mom is getting older and tends to say things that are sooooo not nice. I told her how much of a [email protected]&$ she was and she apologized. She did it again, different reason.. Again I told her she was a &#[email protected] again she apologized. Her and I get in an argument. Over him. SHE defends him.. he's mad because of her statements and now swears she hates him. My sister is a... and she doesn't care about her own husbands feelings.. so she's not concerned about mine. She feels it's not her job to coddle him or stroke him and that I let him get away with his childish behavior. I'm not his mother! I'm not raising him! I just want him happy.. Most of all, I want him to get a long with my family or at least try. My brother did nothing to him accept not congratulate him PERSONALLY for marrying his sister. Instead, everyone congratulated US through me. We dated a year before we got married. They already new him. He's not new to the family and my family is very open. BUT... he thinks they all "tolerate" him. I feel like he's making things worse and I don't know how to tell him to grow up.. grow a pair and get over it. 
I love my family, but at 39 I no longer need their approval. At 45, you would think he didn't either! 
How should I tell him ANYTHING?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

You're like a sandwich ham, being squeezed in the middle of 2 slices of bread, trying to please everybody, but nobody is happy.
Get out of that sandwich!
Any problem your husband have with your family, he is supposed to solve it. He can speak English and your family also speak English. He should build up friendly relationship with your family by himself. He's not 3 years old that you must work your butt off to help.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

It stinks not being part of the _in crowd_ and right now whether you like it or not that's what your family is because they know all your idioms and idiosyncrasies. A problem usually only time will change.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> You're like a sandwich ham, being squeezed in the middle of 2 slices of bread, trying to please everybody, but nobody is happy.
> Get out of that sandwich!
> Any problem your husband have with your family, he is supposed to solve it. He can speak English and your family also speak English. He should build up friendly relationship with your family by himself. He's not 3 years old that you must work your butt off to help.


I don't know, the ham in the sandwich makes me happy. I wouldn't want to eat to pieces of bread with no ham


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

If he's decided your family doesn't like him, there probably won't be much you can do to change that feeling. 

The only thing I could suggest would be to tell everyone, him and your family, that if they have issues with each other, they need to take it up with each other and leave you out of it. Then, just refuse to listen when any of them b*tch about the other. 

It sounds like they all want to tell you to help them, and then tell you that you can't solve it when you try...so stop. Make them deal with it themselves. If they won't do that then they have only themselves to blame. They are all adults.


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