# My wife will not have sex with me.



## briced08 (Apr 2, 2012)

Hi, I am new here and I wanted to post my situation and possibly get some opinions from anyone more experienced in these matters.

My wife and I have been together for going on 6 years now, with only 1 child and he is about to be 2 in a few days. 

Our relationship started out very exciting, I mean 2 to 3 times a day exciting. This went on for the first 2 years. The third and forth years it did slow down a little to maybe 1 time a night. She did get pregnant twice during the first 4 years but she had abortions. That did not slow the sex down though. When she got pregnant the third time we were finally in a position to be able to financially take care of a child, so we opted for keeping. During her pregnancy we did have sex but limited to maybe once every other week. After the baby came there was no sex for over a year. I somehow managed to get her to have sex with me about 6 months ago 3 or 4 times. Now she just ignores the conversation if I mention sex. Sometimes I try to just put my arm around her and i get shunned away. It is always me saying ILY, but I do get a ILY2 in return. We don't sleep in the same bed anymore because our son has outgrown the crib and now sleeps with her in the bed, while I sleep on the couch. I just found out she ordered a vibrator and it has been used and moved to a new hiding spot. 

A few weeks ago, I got in contact with the girl I was with before my wife. I asked her some questions like " Am I still attractive, Was I good in bed, Was I too clingy?" thinking I might be the problem but in my ex's opinion I should deffinatly be the problem. 

I know our marriage is in shambles ( I think). I can take any advice, opinions, or reprimands. I just want honesty.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I think you and your wife need some serious help, most likely from outside your marriage. Failing that, you need to decide if this relationship is one you're willing to participate in, because what you see now is likely going o be what you see 5 years from now, unless it just gets worse. It's not going to magically get better until she acknowledges there is a problem, and wants to fix it. 

Whose decision to have the abortions was it? I can envision those being REALLY big issues that have a long term effect.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovinmyhubby223 (Jan 31, 2012)

I have heard that having children will stress the love life but if she’s ordering vibrators then problem stems from something else. 

Have you had a serious heart to heart with her about this issue? If you have and she wants to fix things then seek counseling. If you have and she shows no interest in fixing the problem then you need to decide whether this is something you can live with or not. If you haven’t had a serious talk with her then do so! Until you know what her stand is on the issue then you can’t move forward.

Like they say the first step to solving a problem is admitting there is a problem.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

dude, it time to be firm and fair, if she is no longer attracted to you then she need to women up and tell you so you can move on. 

Sure you can be a good examble for you kid by being there, but by no means should you show them how to be a unhappy spouse by sticking around.

Man up and show your W how confident you are by having the willingness to move on. Sure its easier said then done put the point here is having the ego that chicks dig, being attractive by having the additude that she is lucky to have you. 

Make no mistake she has the same responcesablity to meet your needs and you have to meet hers.

So go a head and be the best father you can be, it will be up to your wife to keep you around and be the examble of what being a good spouse is to you child.

So stop being emotional black mailed and be the alpha male that is firm and fair with there spouse...this is the best examble you can give your kid.


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## briced08 (Apr 2, 2012)

the guy said:


> dude, it time to be firm and fair, if she is no longer attracted to you then she need to women up and tell you so you can move on.
> 
> Sure you can be a good examble for you kid by being there, but by no means should you show them how to be a unhappy spouse by sticking around.
> 
> ...


Well put. Thank you


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

All good advice.

The hard truth is that you have been replaced by the child - at least it seems that way. Your son is two y/o now and still sleeps with mom so she gets her closeness needs met. The vibe is there for those other needs.

Tell her this is unacceptable. Don't accept any crap that you don't love your son enough or he still needs her that close by at night. What's really happening is that the child looks at mom like she can do no wrong and the vibrator doesn't say sh!t. She simply does not have to try as hard with them.

Get the kid a toddler bed and get him used to sleeping alone and self-soothing; the longer you wait the harder it will be for him. Make a big deal about it and get him something you know he will like (like a racecar or favorite cartoon character). Sell it as him becoming a big boy (trust me - boys even at this young age are starting to develop a male-appropriate sense of self).


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

She is having her emotional needs met by the kid.
She is having her sexual needs met by the vib.

Life is good for her.

You have to make it bad.


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