# So hurt about husband materbating daily- not your typical situation



## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

My husband had a porn addiction about 3 years ago. It made me very
Uncomfortable so we had a talk and he agreed to chill out with it. He told me that
Before we got together he would masterbate at least everyday but since we got together 
He rarely did it. Obviously, that was a lie...

Fast forward 3 years... I would like to have sex at least twice a week and he really had no desire. He could go weeks without it. I've made it known several times that I felt disconnected, alone, unwanted, undesired and these things have really took a toll on my self-esteem. He would say he loves me and is very attracted to be but he just doesn't have that desire or isn't in the mood.

In June we started trying for a baby and we got pregnant, unfortunately I lost the baby.. In July we tried again and once again we got pregnant. However it ended up being an ectopic pregnancy and I needed to have surgery to end the pregnancy and to save my life. It's been almost 2 weeks since I lost the baby and I'm having a very difficult time dealing with it emotionally. I feel very disconnected from my husband and alone. For the past week I've expressed how I feel and that I needed to be intimate with him, to help me reconnect with him. It didn't need to be sex, could be cuddling, kissing, messing around, watching each other etc. I told him all these things. I made it extremely clear that this was really important to me to reconnect and to help my healing process. He has rejected me everytime l, made various excuses.... Not once has he even tried anything.

Yesterday we were at the wine festival and he was really drunk. I have no idea where this came from or why he said it but he told me he masterbates at least once everyday! My heart sank! Here I am trying so hard to be intimate and to reconnect... Knowing how important this is to me and he chooses to masterbate instead of being with his wife. I've asked him many times of the past few months if he's done it and he lied every time and told me only when we do it together. This came as a complete and utter surprise to me. 

I now see why he has no desire to have sex with me.... He's taking care of himself everyday! If I did that everyday I wouldn't want to have sex either. I am so upset and deeply hurt... What hurts the most was that I needed him to be with me while I was grieving and he rejected me to pleasure himself rather than be with me. On top of this, my self worth, my esteem has gone down the drain. I've never felt so unloved, unwanted or undesired. My heart is broken... Some of you may think I'm overreacting or being too sensitive but these are just my feelings. I'm a pretty girl, I get many compliments.... I take care of myself, still do my hair and put make up on.. I haven't let myself go. I want my husband to be attracted to me and I take pride in the fact that I take care of myself.

Idk if I want advice, feedback, see if this has happened to anyone else. I'm sure by reading this you can see that in just really hurting for many different reasons. I just don't know what to do or how to move on from this.. The fact that he's been lying to my face for so long, that he's choosing not to meet my needs, that he wasn't there when I needed him to help me through something... I really do feel that being close and just hugging and kissing would have helped me reconnect emotionally. I expressed all this last night and he doesn't feel like he did anything wrong.

Sorry this was so long, I really just needed to get this out.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

No, I don't think you're over reacting at all.


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## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

Ps I was crying while I was typing this on my phone. I apologize for the missed spelling, grammar errors and the weird format with the paragraphs.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I'm very sorry. 

Maybe you could tell him this is a deal-breaker if the situation doesn't change. But mean it if you say it. Don't just threaten. Then it's up to him.


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## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

Since you use the phrase "porn addiction" I will assume you know about this problem. Everything you describe is classic porn addiction. You need to persuade him that this is a real problem in need of a solution. You need to treat this almost as if he were cheating on you, which he is.

Read up on the problem, find a specializing counselor who can help both of you through it.


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## ThirtyYearsIn (Sep 20, 2014)

Ask him to look at Your Brain On Porn | Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn

Maybe look at some of the 'nofap' groups or boards.

His neurochemistry is probably messed up to the point where he cannot have normal feelings about sex and pleasure. It is like an addiction and tolerance to pleasure hormones.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

First, you need to confront him about this when he's sober. People will say anything when they are drunk. 

Second, what kind of porn has he been looking at? If you don't know, then check. If it's gay porn, it would explain a lot. And unfortunately, if that is the case, then your situation would be hopeless.

Third of all, this isn't just a sex problem, it's an affection problem. And a problem of simple consideration. Even when I'm not in the mood for sex, I'm still affectionate with my wife. This is a separate serious problem, even worse than any porn/masturbation addiction in my opinion. Have you two considered counseling? You both obviously have a communication problem (apparently much more on his side than yours) and that's exactly the kind of problem marriage counseling is best for.


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## 4x4 (Apr 15, 2014)

> On top of this, my self worth, my esteem has gone down the drain. I've never felt so unloved, unwanted or undesired. My heart is broken...


Lots of us take different paths, but end up at the same destination.

Daelynn, you sound like you have a pretty firm grasp of your situation and probably just need to vent and organize your thoughts before delivering them to your husband.


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## Big Dude (Feb 24, 2013)

I am so sorry for your situation! I think I know exactly how you feel, and you must take action now or face a very unsatisfying life going forward. But the right course of action is going to be different depending on the real nature of the problem. The behavior you describe could be the result of two very different scenarios.

Scenario 1: The problem is what you think it is...that he doesn't desire you sexually because he has used up his sexual energy masturbating every day. In this case, he clearly has not resolved his addiction by his own "cold turkey" efforts. Counselling by a professional is essential, and you need to let him know in no uncertain terms that the future of your marriage depends on him seeking out help. You need to draw a line in the sand about this. Be as supportive as you can be, but also unyielding about him acting on this right away.

Scenario 2: The problem isn't what you think it is. Maybe he is masturbating daily because he isn't sexually attracted to *you*. The fact that you make efforts to be attractive, and that others obviously find you attractive, does not automatically mean that he finds you attractive sexually. If this is the case, counselling will not help. In fact, I am convinced that nothing will help. Your only real good move in this scenario is to move on as soon as is practical.

I think you are probably correct about the situation, but you need to eliminate the possibility of scenario 2 before you take action. I'm not sure exactly how you do this...he will lie to you if scenario 2 is the reality. You know him better than anybody, maybe intense observation will provide an answer.


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## yours4ever (Mar 14, 2013)

Big dude, are you a detective in real life? Impressive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Theseus said:


> Third of all, this isn't just a sex problem, it's an affection problem. And a problem of simple consideration. Even when I'm not in the mood for sex, I'm still affectionate with my wife. This is a separate serious problem, even worse than any porn/masturbation addiction in my opinion.


Agreed^^^.

Even though sometimes I might not be in the mood for sex, I'm always in the mood to give and receive physical affection.
Lol, sometimes that affection can actually change my mood .


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## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

Thank you for all your support and responses. To answer some of your questions... Back in the day his porn of choice was younger "woman", id say 18-24.... Idk what he watches now. He says he doesn't watch it every time he masterbates. I don't believe that by the way.

As far as him being attracted to me.. I do think he is. He tells me several times a week that I'm gorgeous and sexy.. But actions speak louder than words. So I don't think him getting off daily is because he doesn't find me attractive. Who knows maybe he's lying when he compliments me.

He claims that the reason he does it is because he has a sexual need and I wasn't fulfilling it. He never brought this up because he didn't think I was attracted to him and he didn't think I wanted to have sex with him. It's bull****... I've tried many times (in different ways) to Initiate sex but I just get turned down with various excuses... So this is just another excuse/reason which just isn't true.... I mean when your wife tells you several times a week that they miss being intimate and being close to them.... How more blunt can you be? Again just an excuse...

As far as affection goes... It's limited and not in any real sexual way. It's a quick peck ok the lips, a hug, or holding hands when we are out... That's the extent of any type of affection or intimacy.

This whole thing for me goes way beyond masterbating. It would be one thing if he did it all the time but still had sex with me.... But he's choosing his hand over his wife who has clearly shown she wants to have sex with him! What hurts by far the most is that I wanted to be intimate while I was grieving the loss of our baby... I wanted to be close to him and being intimate is what makes me feel close to my husband :/ and he rejected me at least 4-5 times when I clearly needed him and explained why it was so important to me at that time. He preferred his hand.... I just feel so unloved and hurt. In not even sure what to do... I don't want to even look at him.

At this point....I just don't think he loves me anymore.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

He "had" a porn addiction. He pretended to no longer have a problem with it. It's no different than an alcoholic who hides a bottle out in the garage. 

I agree that it may be time to see a counselor. He doesn't sound like he is in touch with your needs very well at all. By the way, I hope you will hold off on trying to have a baby until this is fully resolved, too, because over a period of years, this could really have some major effects on your home environment, and would you really want a child to go through that?

Please read my article on Madonna ***** Complex and see if that fits your situation, too: 
http://jellygator.hubpages.com/hub/What-is-Madonna-*****-Syndrome


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Daelynn, what are your ages? Do you do all you can to stay fit and healthy and look your best? This is not to suggest that your husband may have a reason to avoid you...no, I ask to first remove your fitness as a reason for a man to prefer his fist to your stuff.

I will say that your husband sounds like a selfish a$$, that much is probably true.


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## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

WalterWhite said:


> Daelynn, what are your ages? Do you do all you can to stay fit and healthy and look your best? This is not to suggest that your husband may have a reason to avoid you...no, I ask to first remove your fitness as a reason for a man to prefer his fist to your stuff.
> 
> I will say that your husband sounds like a selfish a$$, that much is probably true.


I'm 36 and he's 32. Do I do everything that I can to be fit? No but I'm happy with how I look. I'm an attractive woman with nice assets lol.... I feel that I get enough compliments from both men and women telling me that I'm pretty, have nice eyes, smile etc. Am I drop dead gorgeous? No. But I think I'm at least average. I really don't think it has anything to do with him being attracted to me physically. Maybe he's not attached emotionally or doesn't like certain things about me that turn him off?

I'd add a pic of myself but idk how.


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## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

KathyBatesel said:


> He "had" a porn addiction. He pretended to no longer have a problem with it. It's no different than an alcoholic who hides a bottle out in the garage.
> 
> I agree that it may be time to see a counselor. He doesn't sound like he is in touch with your needs very well at all. By the way, I hope you will hold off on trying to have a baby until this is fully resolved, too, because over a period of years, this could really have some major effects on your home environment, and would you really want a child to go through that?
> 
> ...


I will read that, thank you.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

IDK...

Just a thought for a small part of what are likely larger issues.

Maybe over some wine, talk suggestively to him. Tell him that when he said he masturbates, it turned you on so much. Tell him you gotta be a part of the action and participate, big time! . Then move in on him.

Again, small part of the entire issue. Maybe his response will tell you more. Just a thought.


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## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

I also forgot to say....he claims he plays and jerks it but never finishes, he's saving it for me... How dumb does he think I am!! Just more lies... Like how could someone lie so much!! N be ok with lying constantly to their wife like this.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

I sent you a PM
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

Yup sounds like classic porn addiction and the lying that comes with it. You don't need to accept it. There are sites focused on this such as rebootnation.org and yourbrainrebalanced.com that can help you understand it, but in the end, he has to accept that he has a problem and needs to fix it, not just for you, but for him. It may be a long road but the first step is to admit he has a problem. If he won't admit it, then you may have to move on. It is NOT fair to be in a sexless (and affectionless) marriage -- he has a duty to you and if he's not filling his duty, and even after you tell him the problems -- then you may have to take that step. 

But for now, try to show him the resources and the signs of his problem, get some counseling if necessary, and give it a shot. Like others have said, you are not over reacting. You have a BIG problem that requires a lot of work (mostly him, but some you too) to correct.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

daelynn said:


> Yesterday we were at the wine festival and he was really drunk. I have no idea where this came from or why he said it but he told me he masterbates at least once everyday! My heart sank! Here I am trying so hard to be intimate and to reconnect... Knowing how important this is to me and he chooses to masterbate instead of being with his wife. I've asked him many times of the past few months if he's done it and he lied every time and told me only when we do it together. This came as a complete and utter surprise to me.
> 
> I now see why he has no desire to have sex with me.... He's taking care of himself everyday! If I did that everyday I wouldn't want to have sex either. I am so upset and deeply hurt... What hurts the most was that I needed him to be with me while I was grieving and he rejected me to pleasure himself rather than be with me. On top of this, my self worth, my esteem has gone down the drain. I've never felt so unloved, unwanted or undesired. My heart is broken..


I really feel for your situation.. I would see this as equivalent to cheating.. he is taking all of his sexual energy, his passion and giving it to computer screen while you emotionally and physically starve craving him... this is utterly devastating... You are far from over reacting on this one... this can not go on.. 

If he can't look at himself & acknowledge he needs HELP...and yourself being emotionally strong enough ..loving him enough to stand beside him while he gets help (but he has to come half way in this, start with being honest, his actions speaking he means business, counseling, whatever it takes!)..... this marriage will not be worth saving.. sexual intimacy is just THAT important to our well being in a healthy marriage.. 

THis would be a deal breaker for MANY OF US.. and it should be...

Some forums that could help you..

Porn Addiction Message Board - 

Your Brain Rebalanced - Overcoming Pornography Addiction

Through The Flame community forums


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

daelynn said:


> I also forgot to say....he claims he plays and jerks it but never finishes, he's saving it for me... How dumb does he think I am!! Just more lies... Like how could someone lie so much!! N be ok with lying constantly to their wife like this.



He's *saving* it for you? Just when does he plan on delivering? That's BS unless he plans on putting the stuff in a bottle, wrapping it up and giving it you on Christmas morning.

The fact that he couldn't bring himself to even cuddle with you during your grief is all you need to know.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

For your own sanity don't think of this as "competing with his hand".

You're not. Most men could easily wank it out once or twice a day and still have plenty of energy left to sleep with a woman that they're attracted to. You are not in competition with his hand.

He is choosing to not have sex with you. He is choosing to have a relationship with pornagrpahy over you. This is beyond any addiction because plenty of people have issues with porn, yet still want the real thing. He doesn't likely feel very attracted to you, even if he says you're attractive. There is a difference. How "gorgeous" he finds you is irrelevant if he doesn't want you. He's also likely disconnected from you emotionally too.

Has your sex life ever been satisfying?
Has he ever come off as hungry to be with you?

Have you ever, point blank, asked your husband how he feels about you sexually? Not looks, not love, but sexually?


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## ecotime47 (Apr 3, 2013)

Hi daelynn. I know you're hurting. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hang in there.

As others have said, the details of your situation sound very much like he has a porn addiction. It's important for you to do your best to understand his addiction - not only how it effects him mentally and emotionally, but also how it effects you. When you have a better understanding of what's really going on, you'll be in a far better position to further asses your relationship and how to help him deal with it in an productive way. 

I'll private message you with some tools that I think will help you get there. Also, 90% of the advice you will get on this board is great because these folks have walked through some of the stuff you're dealing with. You're in the right place to find help. I'm praying for you and H today.


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## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

jaquen said:


> For your own sanity don't think of this as "competing with his hand".
> 
> You're not. Most men could easily wank it out once or twice a day and still have plenty of energy left to sleep with a woman that they're attracted to. You are not in competition with his hand.
> 
> ...


We definitely used to have a very healthy sex life. He used to express that he desired me.... used to.

I have asked him and he says he loves having sex with me...he said it also brings us closer together...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

daelynn said:


> We definitely used to have a very healthy sex life. He used to express that he desired me.... used to.
> 
> I have asked him and he says he loves having sex with me...he said it also brings us closer together...


What are his responses when you ask him why he's denying you sex?


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## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

jaquen said:


> What are his responses when you ask him why he's denying you sex?


That he didn't think I wanted to have sex with him or that I wasn't attracted to him..... just excuses and lies. It was obvious I want to....


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## daelynn (Oct 22, 2012)

Again, thank you everyone for taking the time to read my post and offering your advice, suggestions and hugs.
Today has been a really hard day for me emotionally. This post started out about my feelings regarding my husband’s porn issue and him rejecting me but it has turned into so much more for me. 

I have been thinking so much over the past 2 days and I've come to realize that he's just a really bad husband in so many different ways and that I’m a good wife and person…. It's always something! I always forgive him, believe his lies/broken promises and think he will change and he does "change" literally for 2 days... and then goes on as nothing has ever happened. 

This is now the second time this issue has happened... 3 years ago he was into porn, rejecting me both sexually and emotionally. He actually ended up having an emotional affair on me (this time he’s emotionally not disconnected). There is no doubt in my mind that it would have been physical but she didn't like him in that way... I just know in my heart that this porn thing (last time it was teenagers, like 18-20) has never ended... he just hid it well. 

This porn/rejecting issue has just led me to re-live all the things he's done to me. He’s hurt me countless times and often minimizes the issue (I’m too emotional/overreacting, being dramatic) so to him it wasn’t a problem but they are problems whether he feels that it is or not BECAUSE it’s a problem to me and how I feel should matter! He has never tried to put an effort into fixing things/changing/meet my needs.... he just does nothing and goes on like nothing happened. It's my own fault for forgiving him each time. I guess he just got used to me forgiving him and there were no consequences to his actions.

I finally really believe he doesn't love me. It’s just impossible to continuously hurt someone you love over and over and over again…. You don’t do that to people you love. He is Mr. Smooth with words and makes me feel loved verbally but his actions are the opposite. Ugh nobody knows the real him, no one sees the side of him that I do. You would think he’s the greatest guy ever… He’s so good at making people like him. 

We just started counseling a few weeks before we lost our baby. I got fed up with him ignoring my needs (not just sexual), his broken promises, lies and alcohol problem... Yup he’s an alcoholic too. He denies it of course but he's had 2 DUI's (before me) and almost a 3rd but I got him out of it. He drinks one of those bigger jugs of whisky in a week, maybe up to 9 days (used to be every 3 days) but to him it's just 2 drinks a day so it's fine. However, we weren’t really in counseling long enough to get into all the issues. We haven’t gone back since my surgery (it’s been 2 weeks) but I have zero desire to go back to counseling bc I now realize that nothing will change and there’s no point. I’m so sad, because through all this hurt over the years, I still love him very much. I never left anyone that I was still in love with. It's so hard... My head is ready to explode with all the different things swirling around. I’m so sick to my stomach....



Btw him rejecting me sexually just started semi- recently, about 3 months or so… before that we didn’t have sex a lot but at least every week….


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

you are not overreacting. But you are probably not being very kinky with him.

Next time he is masturbating, get dressed up in your kinkiest lingerie, with crotchless panties, barge in on him, and slide onto his lap. Do him up right, cowgirl style. Then without saying a word, just leave the room after he has cum. See if that does not throw a wrench into his machinery.

BTW, if you do not have any kinky lingerie to wear at home, you should ask youself WHY?


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## evolver (Dec 3, 2013)

My ex had similar complaints against me. She would talk about sex, tell me she would like me to initiate more, but her actions and body language said otherwise. It was very confusing to me. There was a complex dynamic going on, and I still haven't completely mapped it. I probably never will. 

She suffered depression and took medication that made her libedo unpredictable. I found out she was sexually assaulted before I knew her and had PTSD from that and her terrible childhood. She also had some very specific kinks that, given everything else, I often wondered whether they were healthy. I now believe that they were a way for her to work through her past and "own" it, so to speak. I didn't understand that at the time, and if she did, she never told me. She was a very damaged person, and I loved her.

For my part, I dealt with the complexity of all that in a bad way. I didn't have the confidence to find my way through that minefield. I turned to porn as an escape. A way to get my needs met without risking a blowup with her. This probably sounds strange, but I often thought of her while doing it. It was meditative, in a way. 

We weren't sexless. We averaged 2-3x/week. I was very careful to only look at porn when there was no opportunity for the real thing for quite a while. It was damaging though, because it allowed me to stay blind to the issue. Blind to fact that she was suffering. Yeah, I wish she would have told me that clearly and directly, but she didn't. I think she may have felt embarrassed for wanting sex more often. The tragedy is that I wanted the same thing. Hind site is 20/20, I guess. 

I'm sure your situation is different. I guess my point is, that sometimes the issues are just really complex. Therapy, honesty, and clear communication are your best hope. I'm sorry you are going through this and I wish you success.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> you are not overreacting. But you are probably not being very kinky with him.
> 
> Next time he is masturbating, get dressed up in your kinkiest lingerie, with crotchless panties, barge in on him, and slide onto his lap. Do him up right, cowgirl style. Then without saying a word, just leave the room after he has cum. See if that does not throw a wrench into his machinery.
> 
> BTW, if you do not have any kinky lingerie to wear at home, you should ask youself WHY?


You seriously think this is sound advice in response to the situation laid out by Daelynn in the latest post?

Her husband is horrible. Sounds like he's been horrible for a long time. The only thing she likely will need to slide onto his lap are divorce papers.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

jaquen said:


> You seriously think this is sound advice in response to the situation laid out by Daelynn in the latest post?
> 
> Her husband is horrible. Sounds like he's been horrible for a long time. The only thing she likely will need to slide onto his lap are divorce papers.


:iagree::iagree:

OP, your husband sounds like a horrible "man"(if you can call him one). He is not even worth your time. And please do not try to have a baby with him. You don't need that added stress.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I second the no baby thing....Babies are great, but they only emphasize stress in the relationship. Babies don't magically make those issues go away. If anything they get worse. It's best to resolve those before bringing a child into it. 

And from the sound of it, this can't be solved because HE doesn't want it to be. He is perfectly content with the way things are.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

daelynn said:


> I'm 36 and he's 32. Do I do everything that I can to be fit? No but I'm happy with how I look. I'm an attractive woman with nice assets lol.... I feel that I get enough compliments from both men and women telling me that I'm pretty, have nice eyes, smile etc. Am I drop dead gorgeous? No. But I think I'm at least average. I really don't think it has anything to do with him being attracted to me physically. Maybe he's not attached emotionally or doesn't like certain things about me that turn him off?
> 
> I'd add a pic of myself but idk how.


Don't let people confuse you with the idea that it might be about your looks. I became overweight and felt extremely unattractive for a while in my own marriage after a couple of pregnancies, but I always had the knowledge that DH would jump my bones in a second.

As far as masturbation goes, I always thought it was normal and expected for a man to masturbate frequently but when I met DH, he made me think of it in another way. I now feel that when we find release with anyone other than our partner, even ourselves, we are betraying them on some emotional level. If I, as the LD partner in my marriage, went and masturbated rather than have sex with DH, I think he would be justified in feeling a great deal of anger. Anger that I could be so callous towards him.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

yeah, i think getting him to want HER body instead of some virtual thing online is one way to win him back. Like first thing in the morning, jump his bones, before he goes to work. Take all his sexual energy, and then he will have less need to wank online. 

How do you all know this guy is so "horrible". All he does is wank off once a day to the internet. The only bad thing is he is not using the internet to become horny, and THEN find his wife and have sex. He might be a great guy, we do not have sufficient info to tell.

and we have not heard from the OP what she DOES do to sexually stimulate him with her body. Maybe she does nothing, wears granny panties, etc.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Big Dude said:


> I think you are probably correct about the situation, but you need to eliminate the possibility of scenario 2 before you take action. I'm not sure exactly how you do this...he will lie to you if scenario 2 is the reality. You know him better than anybody, maybe intense observation will provide an answer.


The vast majority of men are attracted to most women. We are looking for a reason to say "yes." Occam's Razor says the problem is #1. Don't even waste time on option #2.

OP, at the turn of the century 20% of men didn't marry at all in the course of their lifetime. In the Roman world, only 30% of men passed their genes along to the next generation. Back then, only slaves masturbated, if you believe the ancient writers. Your H is one of those guys who really aren't interested in sex with real women. Does he also play games on the computer a lot?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

daelynn said:


> I'm 36 and he's 32. Do I do everything that I can to be fit? No but I'm happy with how I look. I'm an attractive woman with nice assets lol.... I feel that I get enough compliments from both men and women telling me that I'm pretty, have nice eyes, smile etc. Am I drop dead gorgeous? No. But I think I'm at least average. I really don't think it has anything to do with him being attracted to me physically. Maybe he's not attached emotionally or doesn't like certain things about me that turn him off?
> 
> I'd add a pic of myself but idk how.


When was the last time a guy tried to pick you up?

height? weight?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> yeah, i think getting him to want HER body instead of some virtual thing online is one way to win him back. Like first thing in the morning, jump his bones, before he goes to work. Take all his sexual energy, and then he will have less need to wank online.


How do you know sex in the morning is going to "take all his sexual energy"? Sex and masturbation often beget a stronger desire for more sexual release for some people.



murphy5 said:


> How do you all know this guy is so "horrible". All he does is wank off once a day to the internet.


Clearly you're speaking without bothering to read ALL the woman's posts. This is much bigger than some dude wanking off once a day to porn.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> When was the last time a guy tried to pick you up?
> 
> height? weight?


Please don't bother answering these sorts of questions. It wouldn't matter what we think of how you look, it really is completely irrelevant as we are not your DH. 

There are some beautiful women out there and their husbands have still left/cheated/checked out etc. Look at Jennifer Aniston. Now some people will come on and say, 'but she's not attractive', and others will think she is, and that's all personal opinion, and again, doesn't matter who thinks she is attractive, her husband still left her.

I doubt that attractiveness is the issue here. Your DH has some twisted circuits in his head I'm guessing from his porn addiction. What it would take to turn his head now would be a few porn stars doing it in front of him.


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