# Husband Cheated - Headed for Divorce - Advice Please!



## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

I have never posted in a forum before. But like many that have come before me I have found myself at the end of a ten year marriage. We have been separated for 10 weeks, though the problems began in the fall. So we are 5 months into this disaster. I will do my best to keep this concise. I am just looking for support from others who have been in the same place as I am now. I am struggling to move forward.

My husband and I have been married for ten years in May of 2012. We have been together for 14 years. We married young. I was 22 – and we had already had a child together by the time we wed. Today I am 32 and he will be 35 in September.

He developed an interesting hobby several years ago, paranormal research, and his life has been consumed by it ever since. He is out of town every other weekend for overnight trips to ‘chase ghosts’. I of course thought this hobby was a bit crazy but I supported it. He has become very popular within the paranormal subculture and has quite a following of groupies. All seemingly unhealthy mentally – but that could be a gross generalization.

In the fall of this year my intuition told me that something just was not right. At that time I began to try to get him to engage and ‘come back’ into the marriage. At first I was pretty healthy about it. As this progressed over the course of 3 months I made all the common mistakes: begging, crying, demanding, seeming unstable. It finally erupted after 3 months of this with me demanding that he choose his hobby or me. He chose his hobby. I erupted and destroyed quite a bit of his expensive ghost hunting equipment. Wrong – yes I know. He left the next day.

After he left I went about the usual: begging, pleading, bargaining. All failed. 

My original suspicions have been confirmed. There was in fact a girl investigating with him. She was married with 3 children of her own. We have been separated for 10 weeks and she has left her husband as well. They are now ‘seeing’ one another and he ‘likes’ this girl. He says it started in February after we separated but they have been in constant communication via Facebook, text messaging since the fall.

During the 3 months of arguing he would tell me that nothing was wrong and that he still loved me. But I could tell something was deeply wrong. Even in December when he was with her he sent me a text stating ‘Just know that I love you’. Guilt?

After he left he has made the following statements to me:

‘I will always love you and care about you but I know that I don’t want to be married to you’

‘I have been fighting leaving you for years. I only stayed for our daughter.’

‘I hope that we reach a point where we can be friends’ (Yeah Right)

‘I don’t understand why you are so upset we were splitting up anyway. If it wasn’t this girl it would be someone else’

‘I want you to be happy. But I deserve to be happy too and being married wasn't it. Again, had nothing to do with you as a person. You are a good person.’

‘it just came to a point where I had to move on.’

He’s so very cold towards me after all our history and it hurts like hell. I have already had my attorney create a Marriage Separation Agreement and it’s already signed. He has agreed to file based on adultery so that we can be out of the marriage in 90 days. I pushed for the latter based on his transgressions.

For some reason I still continue to call him and badger him for information about his relationship with this woman. I feel out of control. Hurt. And totally shell shocked by all of this.
Should I slow down the divorce and give him time to think? Or push forward and don’t look back? 

For some reason I can't get it out of mind and I am consumed by the psychological attacks of What did I do wrong? Why is she better than me? It's hell.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

do not slow the divorce down. In fact, do whatever you can to push that sucker along. 

Your soon to be ex is an ******* and he doesn't want to be married to you. 

I know it is hard imagining your life without the person you made vows too...but by wasting your energy on this loser you are leaving yourself closed off to something even better down the road. 

his new relationship will fail...

and you will have the last laugh..but moving on and being happy. I know, easier said than done.


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## SprucHub (Jan 13, 2012)

Sounds like you did nothing at all wrong. He was likely feeling dissatisfied with his station in life and, once starting a very childish hobby, he realized he could be big man on campus. His hobby or obsession is just something people convince themselves they are into, it is not like he's actually solving a real problem or bettering the world or even following a sports team. He will realize at some point in his life where he went wrong, but spending your time waiting for that won't make it come faster. Divorcing and moving on will.


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## WhoHaveIBecome (Mar 9, 2012)

Unsure2621 said:


> He has agreed to file based on adultery so that we can be out of the marriage in 90 days. I pushed for the latter based on his transgressions.


100% he cheated. No person is going to admit to adultery if they didn't actually cheat. So I think your suspicions were very valid. 

I think the divorce may be best. You deserve a husband who will love you and he deserves a wife who will love and support him. By cheating he wasn't doing right by you. From what little you wrote it doesn't seem like you were the best wife but it doesn't give him the right to cheat.


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## Tap1214 (Aug 14, 2011)

As painful as it is, the reality is ...HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! And you can't force someone to love you or have feelings for you, period!! And all the statements he made to you? He's trying to justify his actions. 
Bottom line, he's a selfish jerk and he doesn't deserve you. Follow through with your divorce and move on with your life and don't look back.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Its time for you to start taking care of yourself. Workout, new clothes, new hairdo, diet etc. Mentally for yourself and your daughter, go to this page at the link and follow the 180. You may get side tracked but just keep reading it. The worst thing you can do is chase him.It just feeds his ego. 

BTW his adulterous relationship has about a 3 in 100 chance of lasting according to the stats.

The Healing Heart: The 180


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

You may want to post his girlfriend on cheaterville.com


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## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

Thanks for the responses. I am going to go no contact with him unless it is concerning our daughter. He clearly doesn't care. Since we separated - and during the 3 months of issues - he never reached out to me in any way. He clearly 'checked out' of the marriage at some point. I did every thing I could to get him to engage and even pushed for counseling. Of course he had no interest because of the OW. 

I know that the things he says are guilt transference or trying to justify what he has done but its really hard to get it out of my head. For the three months before we separated he called me terrible names: Disgusting, Beast, Fat Ass. And made fun of how much I ate. It has really knocked my self esteem down several rungs.

It also bothers me that 'being married wasn't for him' but he is already involved with this other women. Makes no sense. And she was a housewife with 3 children!! He can barely support himself let alone 3 children and a housewife. And I always wanted to be a stay at home for our own child but always HAD to work because I was the primary breadwinner in our household. Baffles me how these two are going to take care of 4 children between the two of them. And one is special needs.

I think if it was a one night stand I would be coping better. It's hard to hear someone that told you daily that they loved you tell you that they have been fighting leaving you for years. And see them happy with another person.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Unsure2621 said:


> Thanks for the responses. I am going to go no contact with him unless it is concerning our daughter. He clearly doesn't care. Since we separated - and during the 3 months of issues - he never reached out to me in any way. He clearly 'checked out' of the marriage at some point. I did every thing I could to get him to engage and even pushed for counseling. Of course he had no interest because of the OW.
> 
> I know that the things he says are guilt transference or trying to justify what he has done but its really hard to get it out of my head. For the three months before we separated he called me terrible names: Disgusting, Beast, Fat Ass. And made fun of how much I ate. It has really knocked my self esteem down several rungs.
> 
> ...


If it makes you feel any better that happiness will not last. They will almost assuredly not be together in 5 years. Two cheaters together? No chance. They won't be able to trust each other. Work on yourself and find someone who will appreciate you.


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## Tap1214 (Aug 14, 2011)

Hang in there Unsure and be strong, not only for yourself but also for your precious daughter. I will be praying for you ...

"When someone shows no interest in being with you, is consistently inconsistent, and their actions don't match up with their words - It's time to let go." ~


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## elph (Apr 2, 2011)

Unsure2621 said:


> During the 3 months of arguing he would tell me that nothing was wrong and that he still loved me. But I could tell something was deeply wrong. Even in December when he was with her he sent me a text stating ‘Just know that I love you’. Guilt?
> 
> After he left he has made the following statements to me:
> 
> ...


I just want to say ALL OF THIS is 100% typical fogbabble.

all cheaters have said these same things before.
the only thing your missing is the infamous
"i love you but im not in love with you"


like others have said. it will not last. 

my wife said virtually all the the same lines. her affair seems to be apperently over. 


you have to decided what you want to do, and whats best for you. 
nobody here is going to give you any real bad advice, because we all handle things differently, but weigh the things they say. 

but the idea of filing for divorce or legal seperation is a sound one...and can be stopped should he get his head outta his ass and you want to save the marriage....or you could just move on with your life...its up to you, but having a kid defianlty makes it hard...


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

Unsure2621 said:


> For the three months before we separated he called me terrible names: Disgusting, Beast, Fat Ass. And made fun of how much I ate. It has really knocked my self esteem down several rungs.
> 
> It also bothers me that 'being married wasn't for him' but he is already involved with this other women. Makes no sense.


His insults are cruel and unnecessary but perhaps they carry a ring of truth? They are all pointing towards you having gained a lot of weight. If that's the case, then maybe it does make sense especially if the OW has kept her figure.

Unfortunately lots of people let themselves go when they get comfortable in marriage or long term committed relationships. They may not realize it but their partner becomes less physically attracted to them as they put on the weight and seeks sexual release elsewhere.


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## elph (Apr 2, 2011)

hisfac said:


> His insults are cruel and unnecessary but perhaps they carry a ring of truth? They are all pointing towards you having gained a lot of weight. If that's the case, then maybe it does make sense especially if the OW has kept her figure.
> 
> Unfortunately lots of people let themselves go when they get comfortable in marriage or long term committed relationships. They may not realize it but their partner becomes less physically attracted to them as they put on the weight and seeks sexual release elsewhere.


Be that as it may, and even if she put on weight, its still NO JUSTIFICATION to cheat or have an affair.if that was the case he had an obligation to be honest with her and say to her that she finds the weight gain unappealing.

its not the nicest thing to say at all, but its a lot better than what hes doing...at least it gives her a choice to change it.


athol mentioned something like this in his married man sex life book.


baiscally you kknd of give an ultimatium. either lose weight and have sex with me, or ill find someone who will.

mind you this is a very loose interpretation. but it gets right to the point.

some people will argue the idealism of marriage. i used to. but then theres reality.

if my wife weighed 500 lbs. id still love her dearly. BUT that doesnt mean id find her physically or sexually attractive.

however there is usually alot more to infidelity than weight gain or lack of sex...
the problem really lies with the wayward spouse, not the betrayed.

sure their both 50% responsible for the marriage, but the WS is 100% responsible for the affair.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

He seems to be an egomaniac---and he is fueled, by his ghostly friends

He has moved on---time for you to move on---time for you to get your D---and get back into the world of the living.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Don't waste anymore time on that ugly idiot and concentrate on being kind to yourself and your daughter. You need to take care of your body, mind and soul by eating right, exercising, counseling with a professional with experience in helping victims of infidelity, and going out with friends. The more you do these things, the happier you will become and so will your daughter.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

"And I always wanted to be a stay at home for our own child but always HAD to work because I was the primary breadwinner in our household. Baffles me how these two are going to take care of 4 children between the two of them. And one is special needs."

He's a cheater and a leech that can't even support himself. He also doesn't know how to talk to a woman.

Take care of yourself.

The harder you work on yourself the sooner you will see him as the jerk he is and be smiling when you see his ass in your rear view mirror. 

It seems hard now but there are great guys out there. You just have to be smart in finding one.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

It sucks being a woman sometimes...we have the babies, stretch marks, the bloating and the topsy turvy weight gain. 

All the while, our husbands are watching porn that is staged with women that are barely out of their teens. How the hell are we supposed to compete with that? 

We are told assanine things like, "Well perhaps if you hit the gym and worked your ass off to look like the skanky *****s in the pornos, your husband wouldn't cheat on you"

We are expected to turn ourselved inside out to make sure we can always be pleasing to our mans eye...and yet more times than not, their wives are loving them unconditionally in return.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Unsure2621 said:


> After he left he has made the following statements to me:
> 
> ‘I will always love you and care about you but I know that I don’t want to be married to you’
> 
> ...


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

lisab0105 said:


> It sucks being a woman sometimes...we have the babies, stretch marks, the bloating and the topsy turvy weight gain.
> 
> All the while, our husbands are watching porn that is staged with women that are barely out of their teens. How the hell are we supposed to compete with that?
> 
> ...


Looking around it seems to me its not only women who could use a little toneing. I guess people will just get out of life what they put into it.


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## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

Well the really negative comments about me certainly do point to weight gain. I will admit I have picked up some weight but I am actually not obese or grossly overweight. I actually still get a lot of comments on my nice figure. I have a 'full' figure. I knew that I needed to focus on my figure a little more but I didn't realize it was a deal breaker. I am actually rather attractive and get nice compliments so I never paid much attention to him.

He on the other hand had a huge beer gut from his alcohol abuse. So I could never figure out the 'pot calling the kettle black.'

I will say that the woman that he left me for is a belly dancer. She has numerous pictures of herself if full belly dance garb. Belly exposed. I certainly couldn't pull that off. And it makes it that much harder. 

He also told me I had no passion, was like kissing a corpse was lacking all spontaneity. Yada Yada Yada. And my personal favorite. 'I will always love and care about you but I know I don't want to be married to you anymore. I don't know why though.' Really? I think I have a clue.

But one of the strangest aspects of this is the fact that he is paranoid as hell. He made the statement that there 'was a leak on his team(paranormal team) because his soon to be ex-wife knows WAY too much' What's wrong with this guy? I think it sounds looney and immature. Like he has regressed back to being a boy.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Unsure2621 said:


> Well the really negative comments about me certainly do point to weight gain. I will admit I have picked up some weight but I am actually not obese or grossly overweight. I actually still get a lot of comments on my nice figure. I have a 'full' figure. I knew that I needed to focus on my figure a little more but I didn't realize it was a deal breaker. I am actually rather attractive and get nice compliments so I never paid much attention to him.
> 
> He on the other hand had a huge beer gut from his alcohol abuse. So I could never figure out the 'pot calling the kettle black.'
> 
> ...


It looks like you are the lucky one. You haven't shown anything about him that a woman should want.............

In general,this is not aimed at just you, it doesn't seem that many women seem to invest time researching and improving their sex life. I think that is why many men think their sex life becomes boring. For example, in the last couple of years have you brought anything new/different to the bedroom? There are many resources for men and women to do just that.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Unsure,

Your husband abandoning you, your child and the marriage has nothing to do with you or your weight.

Stop thinking there is something wrong with you.

Your husband cheated on you. He is an immature jerk.

You are a responsible adult that has a child to take care of.

File your D now. Do not wait.

Find someone new that will love you and your child.

There are plenty of great men that would love a "full figured" woman that is a great mom. I know because I am one of those men.

Good Luck and Keep Posting. You have a great head on your shoulders. Use it to get a better life for the two of you.

Just remember, you cannot reason with a selfish person. And your husband is acting very selfish.

HM64


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## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

Chap you are right in some regards. Our sex life and life in general had become very boring. But he didn't really give me a chance to add back some spark. I actually tried to get him to go away for weekends to reconnect and hopefully spark something up but he was always too busy with his ghost hunting etc.

Over the years I actually did do quite a bit of research on how to spark things. I actually have books on my shelf and implemented some new techniques over the years. So I have always been willing to experiment. 

I had become stale over the course of the past year but that is because he was totally withdrawn. And every time I asked the question 'what's wrong?' I always got back 'nothing with you. everything at home is great. It's my job' So I was never given any chance at all to understand his needs and what he was missing.

I guess I am baffled because he said 'I deserve to be happy too and being married wasn't it'. It took him 10 years to figure this out? And he is already with another woman who has 3 kids of her own???

Ugh. I want to box them both in the ears.


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

happyman64 said:


> Unsure,
> 
> Your husband abandoning you, your child and the marriage has nothing to do with you or your weight.
> 
> Stop thinking there is something wrong with you.


I disagree. If she let her weight go and he lost interest in her sexually as a result, and the problems snowballed from there, well there you go.

I'm not condoning his cheating, all I'm saying is I see this a lot.. online and off. They get married, one or the other or both let themselves go, they get sloppy, they get fat, one or the other loses interest, the sex drops off, one or both start cheating, one or both pull back from the marriage.

Don't put on the blinders and point the finger totally at the cheater even though there is no excuse for their deception. Again all I'm saying is don't be afraid to look in the mirror for some of the reasons for the marriage failure. If you don't acknowledge your part in the problems you can't fix them and you're destined to repeat them.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

I disagree.

You do not cheat on someone because of them gaining weight. Yes, it can be a factor that contributes to unhappiness in someone's marriage.

What is truly wrong though is if it bothers one of the spouse's that they do not communicate this issue, and I do not mean spewing it like venom during a heated argument.

Everyone forgets about their vows.

I do agree it is a communication issue. And maybe some people are that shallow.

I will think about what you have said.


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## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

Believe me as the betrayed spouse what I did wrong goes through my head 1k a day. There is no stopping the torrential psychological messaging playing out in my brain.

I was certainly at fault on many levels. I could have been a better wife. I guess I could have forced him into rekindling that spark. But he truthfully just was not interested in me. And it honestly seemed to come on fast. I noticed it in November which is when he met her. I just didn't pick up on the glaring signs ahead of time. I honestly thought he was totally focused on his projects.

As far as my weight I guess I should have focused on myself a little more. I lost focus on me because I was consumed with being a good mother and wife and a member of the community.

But when I looked in the mirror I still saw an attractive woman. Until now. Again, I am not grossly overweight by any means. I am a size 12 - 34DD. With just a little extra around the middle. It's hard for me to fathom that he would cheat on what most men would find attractive. I am wrong here?


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

Unsure2621 said:


> As far as my weight I guess I should have focused on myself a little more. I lost focus on me because I was consumed with being a good mother and wife and a member of the community.
> 
> But when I looked in the mirror I still saw an attractive woman. Until now. Again, I am not grossly overweight by any means. I am a size 12 - 34DD. With just a little extra around the middle. It's hard for me to fathom that he would cheat on what most men would find attractive. I am wrong here?


I don't understand how you can't be a good wife and community member, while also using self restraint when it comes to diet and regular exercise? Sounds like you're sort of making an excuse there.. to rephrase "I am a good mother and wife and community member therefore it shouldn't matter that I'm overweight". It's irrelevant, at least as far as hubby is concerned. 

Size 12 is overweight and not all that attractive, at least by my standards. The good news is it isn't as bad as it could be, you're certainly not 'huge' and it shouldn't take you all that long to shed those pounds.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

Unsure, your weight is just an excuse that your WH is using to justify leaving the marriage. I suspect that even if you had possessed a model's physique that he still would've left you. He sounds very immature and like my stbxw, might be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.

Like you, I was the main breadwinner. I provided a lifestyle for my family that 95% of the population would be envious of. But that wasn't enough. An old boyfriend from twenty years ago found her on Facebook and for the next two and a half years she bonded with him instead of me. 

I had her on such a high pedestal that I just couldn't imagine her doing this to me and my two kids. Well, the pedestal has been knocked over and I see her for the lying, cheating, self-centered person that she is.

Please take care of yourself in this most terrible of times. Things will get better -- eventually. Also, don't let society's idea of what your body should look like determine your happiness. Learn to love yourself as you are, and never again put someone else happiness above yours.


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## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

Thanks Count. I read a little bit about the narcissistic personality type and I think that you may be right here. He has been selfish at pretty much every turn. And always found a way to guilt me into giving him his own way even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness. And I pretty much gave in every time.

As far as my weight is concerned I think I look good. I am healthy. I work out. I gained a few extra pounds in my marriage but I am not some sort of beast or anything. Maybe I should have taken better care of myself and I certainly will from here on out. But that is a pretty shallow reason to run out on your wife and child after 14 years. So if that is the real reason - then let her have him. I am still quite attractive - just not to him apparently. Interestingly enough he is the one that was trying to drop weight all of the sudden which was one of my first clues. 

Taking the focus in another direction...

The OW has a special needs child. She is the mother of 3 and one of them is autistic or something. I was surprised that she would 'go after' another woman's husband when she clearly has so much responsibility at home. She was apparently with her husband for 10 years and she has left him to pursue this relationship. Any insight into what this woman could possibly be thinking? --My only thought is that my ex has been blowing through my money like its going out of style and she thinks she has some sort of fat cat on her hands. Escape?


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Hi unsure sorry you here I would get the d over wiith and start working on yourself 
And taking care of yr child. She was not really won anything other than a man willing to cheat on his wife and leave his family remember cheat on you eventually he will cheat on her. Their are decent people who would 
Not do this to you take care of yrself and decide what you want in a m and look for those qualities in the future 

Good luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hank567 (Apr 23, 2012)

"It's hard for me to fathom that he would cheat on what most men would find attractive. I am wrong here? " 
Nope, your soon to be ex husband is an idiot.


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## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

please unsure dont let any remarks about yo weight create any doubt in your mind about yourself. From what you say i can tell that you are a confident beautiful woman mother and member of the society. You became too much for ex husband to keep up with. Often men who suffer low esteem find that they cannot compete with their wives and find ways to escape the challenge rather than step up to it. This man does not deserve you. You were too much for him. Belly dancer is more of his class and what do you think is gonna happen. You will have the last laugh. Look after yourself and yo child. Shake what yo mama gave you. Curves are back in style. Very soon men of your class are gonna be scampering for you. Better days are yet to come babe. Dont listen to negative talk about yo weight. Got nothing to do with it. Good luck in moving on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

hisfac said:


> I don't understand how you can't be a good wife and community member, while also using self restraint when it comes to diet and regular exercise? Sounds like you're sort of making an excuse there.. to rephrase "I am a good mother and wife and community member therefore it shouldn't matter that I'm overweight". It's irrelevant, at least as far as hubby is concerned.
> 
> Size 12 is overweight and not all that attractive, at least by my standards. The good news is it isn't as bad as it could be, you're certainly not 'huge' and it shouldn't take you all that long to shed those pounds.


So basically you are saying her husband was justified in cheating because YOU think the OP is out of shape and overweight?
Sorry you are being grossly unfair to unsure and i am sure helping to make her feel even more insecure about herself than she already is. It sounds like you have the issue with the OPs weight. And didnt she say her H had a beer gut?? So does that justify HER cheating?? Im sorry but your posts are very offensive.


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## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

The weight comments actually did get to me. I went to a local doctor and I have lost 10 lbs. I am working on totally transforming my eating habits and I do feel better. As I said before I was a little jiggly around the middle but nothing out of the ordinary for modern America. But getting healthy can only help me. Hopefully it will help me regain my self confidence as it has been seriously knocked.

I don't think I will ever understand why he did what he did. The only thing he has to say to me these days is that I need "to move on". So I guess that is what I am doing. 

He has since gone out and got his ear pierced and is wearing really young clothes. I guess this is all normal for this type of situation. Plus the people he has been running around with the last year are not family oriented at all. Like he said - marriage just wasn't for him.


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## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> So basically you are saying her husband was justified in cheating because YOU think the OP is out of shape and overweight?
> Sorry you are being grossly unfair to unsure and i am sure helping to make her feel even more insecure about herself than she already is. It sounds like you have the issue with the OPs weight. And didnt she say her H had a beer gut?? So does that justify HER cheating?? Im sorry but your posts are very offensive.


i agree daisygirl. I also wanted to reply to his post but thot whatever!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hank567 (Apr 23, 2012)

Unsure2621 said:


> I don't think I will ever understand why he did what he did. The only thing he has to say to me these days is that I need "to move on". So I guess that is what I am doing.


Unfortunately, you may never know. He may never know why he did it either. You can hold out hope that someday he realizes the mistake he's making, but he might never do that. 

Right now, it's probably hard to not think about him and the situation. The best thing you can do for own well being is to think about him less, and you more. Remember - living well is the best revenge.


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## TINPHX (Apr 16, 2012)

I caught my wife 3 weeks ago with phone numbers, sexting, and then disapearing for hours at a time, we went from 3 weeks ago her telling me that she loved me more than anyone in the world and that I was the only man for her, too now we are going to file for divorce! Talk about your head spinning! I havent slept more than 5 hours in a night ( usually 3 to 4 ) and have lost 27 pounds in 3 freaking weeks!!!!


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## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

TIN I feel your pain. I really do.

My H and I were battling for 3 months before he left because I knew something was going on and he never did Cowboy up. He maintained until the day that he left that he was happy and loved me.

Then like a lightening bolt "he had been fighting leaving for years". He was unhappy and his heart was no longer there. Of course his heart was no longer there - he already gave it to another woman!

My heart bleeds for you. This is absolute hell. I think the best thing we can both do is focus on ourselves. I am knew to this but you can't convince someone that doesn't want to be with you to be there. And mine has clearly moved on with his OW.

I hope you find some peace!


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