# What do you think of this text message?



## t10eml (Nov 30, 2012)

I recall while I was sitting with my STBXW once and she got a text message from a "female" friend (according to the contact name) that said:

"All of a sudden want to meet up. Want to open you up wide!"

To which she laughed and replied to this "female" friend, "What are you talking about?"


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Its dubious but not enough by itself. I myself have had many inside jokes with friends before but nonetheless, if something unsettles you, time to do a little phone snooping. 

By unsettle I mean slight suspicion.

If you're like hearing a man's voice on the phone and shes saying its a female or something like that then its time to get full steam ahead on the digging.


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

t10eml said:


> I recall while I was sitting with my wife once and she got a text message from a "female" friend (according to the contact name) that said:
> 
> "All of a sudden want to meet up. Want to open you up wide!"
> 
> To which she laughed and replied to this "female" friend, "What are you talking about?"


Truthfully, I don't believe it's a female and I think it's a sexting situation that is ready to escalate to a meeting. I think it came through at an inopportune time with you there and she played dumb.
Often a cheater will store the name of the other person as a female friend. 

You need to fill in more detail for the people on this forum to help you navigate this situation.
Are ther other signs that make you wonder? 
Do you and your wife have a healthy sex life?
Is she out without you much?
Does she have time that's unaccounted for?
Has she started acting strange in the recent past?


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## hotsthrnmess (Dec 5, 2012)

t10eml said:


> I recall while I was sitting with my STBXW once and she got a text message from a "female" friend (according to the contact name) that said:
> 
> "All of a sudden want to meet up. Want to open you up wide!"
> 
> To which she laughed and replied to this "female" friend, "What are you talking about?"


I think it's a little weird to say something like that to a female friend, to be honest. Maybe my mind is in the gutter, but the last sentence has a sexual tone to it. 

I'd be a bit suspicious.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

t10eml said:


> I recall while I was sitting with my STBXW once and she got a text message from a "female" friend (according to the contact name) that said:
> 
> "All of a sudden want to meet up. Want to open you up wide!"
> 
> To which she laughed and replied to this "female" friend, "What are you talking about?"


Could be an inside joke? Or a guy?

How long ago do you recall this happened?


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Hmm...I'd call the number from a pay phone (if you can still find one), or at least a number in no way tied to you. You'll probably get voicemail, should tell you all you need to know. If they answer, you'll have your answer, and just say wrong number and hang up.

Or you can pay 5-10 bucks on a reverse phone lookup and there's a 50/50 chance you'll get info in who it's registered to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

If that contact is deleted from her contacts or if the phone is now locked, time to be more suspicious. But don't confront until you at least know if she was lying about who the contact was.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Sorry! But is just screams as being from a man rather than a woman, strictly for its sexual connotation. Can't really see a woman sending a message such as that! 

At best, it more than sounds suspicious! Fastly time to play Sherlock Holmes!


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## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

If she was my soon to be ex wife, I wouldn't care.

T


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## t10eml (Nov 30, 2012)

Tony55 said:


> If she was my soon to be ex wife, I wouldn't care.
> 
> T


I agree. But we aren't getting a divorce because of an affair, it's for other reasons. Since we've now firmly decided on a divorce, she's been acting completely evasive about what she plans to do after a separation which has aroused my suspicion and has my mind racing back to events such as this.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Weird text. I have to say that my friends would not text me anything like that. Or question a meet up even if its been years since we've seen each other. Sounds like a male text.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Yea the open you up wide part seems quite obvious.



Shamwow said:


> Hmm...I'd call the number from a pay phone (if you can still find one), or at least a number in no way tied to you. You'll probably get voicemail, should tell you all you need to know. If they answer, you'll have your answer, and just say wrong number and hang up.
> 
> Or you can pay 5-10 bucks on a reverse phone lookup and there's a 50/50 chance you'll get info in who it's registered to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do as Shamwow suggested and that'll be one less "what if" to worry about in the future.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

That text is defiantly from a man!


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## dunocarmet (Dec 6, 2012)

you'll have your answer, and just say wrong number and hang up.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Her answer to the text was code for "not now, he's watching". They're a sneaky bunch. Good ridance.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

t10eml said:


> I agree. But we aren't getting a divorce because of an affair, it's for other reasons. Since we've now firmly decided on a divorce, she's been acting completely evasive about what she plans to do after a separation which has aroused my suspicion and has my mind racing back to events such as this.


If you are divorcing, it really doesn't matter. For whatever reason, you two have decided to part ways. Move on with your life. Leave the past in the past. 

Do you have children with her? If not, her post-divorce plans are none of your concern.


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

Use this: Free Cell Number Search | Spy Dialer

it will go straight to his voicemail and his phone will not ring.
plus it will call from the computer not your phone. So it is anonymous and you get to hear the outgoing recorded message.


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

DevistatedDad said:


> Use this: Free Cell Number Search | Spy Dialer
> 
> it will go straight to his voicemail and his phone will not ring.
> plus it will call from the computer not your phone. So it is anonymous and you get to hear the outgoing recorded message.


Ok, I just tested this on wife's phone, and it never rang, but it left her a VM that has some comical sounding voice saying "ha ha ha you have been spy dialed. www. spydialer.com"

Still no way it could be traced back to your computer. but clearly not totally transparent.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

^^Didn't do that on mine.

Just use a payphone and call that number. Ask for malcolm when answered and when they say its wrong number ask them who's number is this, I got it from bla bla regarding this and that. They should say at least the first name.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Woman will sometimes say weird things to their female friends.

We had one colleague who had enormous breasts. One day a female friend of hers came to hang out in the office with her and she said, loudly, "Hey, xxxx, how are your bad boys doing?" Pointing at her breasts. 

xxxx jiggled them and said: "My bad boys are pretty good, thanks for asking!"

Oh. Damn. Just remembered. They had at least one sexual encounter ("just experimenting") so even if a female does send a message to another female it might still be of a sexual nature.


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## Natalie (Dec 4, 2012)

I am a woman. My best friend is a woman. We joke about our boobs all the time, calling them the girls or the twins, especially if they are swollen up for whatever reason. We are as close as sisters. I would NEVER send her a text like that. It is definitely from a man and it is definitely sexual.


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## Silverlining (Jan 15, 2012)

Get Google Voice. Its a free number assigned to your gmail or google account. You can use any prefix in the US. You use your computer to call your cell then it dials the number you want to call and connects the two. You can also send texts from your computer and receive voice mails with retrieval from your computer. This is a common way for cheaters to communicate. It's anonymous


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## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

t10eml said:


> Since we've now firmly decided on a divorce, she's been acting completely evasive about what she plans to do after a separation which has aroused my suspicion and has my mind racing back to events such as this.


T10, all you're doing is chipping away at your own self esteem, you're inflicting damage to yourself, don't look any further, you "_firmly decided on a divorce_"; there is no you and her anymore, accept that. Don't become your own worst enemy, focus on yourself.

T


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe her friend sent her a text by accident. Who knows.

I sent my friend a text which was meant for my husband. It was at 6am and her husband was like, "Who is texting you at 6am about making love later tonight?!?" lolol Oops.


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## t10eml (Nov 30, 2012)

Tony55 said:


> T10, all you're doing is chipping away at your own self esteem, you're inflicting damage to yourself, don't look any further, you "_firmly decided on a divorce_"; there is no you and her anymore, accept that. Don't become your own worst enemy, focus on yourself.
> 
> T


Tony55, I appreciate that. BUT, you've got it the wrong way round. In a way, I actually WANT to believe she has had an affair. 

We divorced under difficult circumstances (as most divorces do). If she has had or is having an affair, it would be like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders (and my heart) as I do not have to live with the burden of guilt anymore for having ended this relationship.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

t10eml said:


> I agree. But we aren't getting a divorce because of an affair, it's for other reasons. Since we've now firmly decided on a divorce, she's been acting completely evasive about what she plans to do after a separation which has aroused my suspicion and has my mind racing back to events such as this.


Which comes back to the original point. She is going to have friends, lovers and a sex life AFTER you. She is jumping the gun and blatantly disrespectful in that regard, but again, DIVORCE is saying to someone "I don't want to be with you" How much more disrespectful can you be?

Chalk it up to her character and say "Wow. You didn't waste any time."


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## t10eml (Nov 30, 2012)

JCD, please see the reason for this thread in my post above yours.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Yeah. I saw that after I posted. For whatever reason, you are the bad guy in the divorce. 

If you want to feel better about yourself, go ahead and dig.

But here is the thing: you don't know WHEN she engaged in any hypothetical affair. Did she do it before you were the bad guy, or after you were getting a divorce?

If it's the later (and how can you prove that? I guess check phone records or hire a PI) than it's irrelevant. For whatever reason, you were the bad guy and she decided to rub your nose in it by finding your replacement _tout de suite_. If it's the former...does that really change the fact you were, in your own way, a bad guy? No. She is also a bad girl. That doesn't change you.

Heck, the text COULD be from a GF, just to get your panties in a bunch. Women sew. They use a needle to get under your skin. They poke DEEP.

Take the pain as penance and move on.


Edited to add: Okay, maybe you weren't the bad guy. But YOU pulled the trigger and now you want validation for your choice.

In that case, I would say this: Even without the 'proof' of an affair, you found your marital circumstances intolerable (if they were tolerable, you'd have stayed). So you are guilding the lily if you want more. Your rationals didn't chance. You just want to heap more on the scale which was already pointing straight at 'lose 135 pounds for your mental health.'


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## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

t10eml said:


> Tony55, I appreciate that. BUT, you've got it the wrong way round. In a way, I actually WANT to believe she has had an affair.
> 
> We divorced under difficult circumstances (as most divorces do). If she has had or is having an affair, it would be like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders (and my heart) as I do not have to live with the burden of guilt anymore for having ended this relationship.


Ohhhhh, my bad! You're on a mission to uncover dirt.

*Ok, don't mind me, Keep Calm and Carry On!*

T


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Man that was no chick !!! That was the MAIN reason you are getting a D, You just didn't know it.

You are just one of the ones who never caught on, so takes the blame.
BUT, the thing is, without you even knowing, you are still man enough to just say " I WON'T live like this ". So I'm walking.

I hope that relieves you of any guilt.
Also, now you know WHY she is so secretive about her plans.
Bet it won't be 3 months before she is seen with him.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

I can guarantee that if you was to have called that number from her phone, a guy would have answered.

Either way, save your money snooping. Just be glad you rid of this infestation.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

DAMN !! I hate this !!!

The scum was sitting there laughing inside you had no clue.


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