# Divorce in process: long distance parenting of toddler



## manwithoutwife (May 27, 2012)

The very long (and boring) sop opera about my ongoing divorce is on 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-...fe-back-but-she-so-hard-me-3.html#post1415815

But short. I was under a lot of pressure. Working hard, looking for a job (my contract was going to finish) and taking care of my son while she was attending a community college to get her teaching certificate. I lost track of the relationship. “She felt unappreciated and unloved”, and asked for the divorce (baby was 4 months old). She asked me to leave our home and immediately started dating somebody else (any speculation?). She was jobless and she still demanded money. She got a lot in my desperate trial to “fix things”. I started implementing the 180. Finally I got a job and I moved out of the state.
She knew and agreed on “we were moving” way ahead the kid was born. Happily, she also got a job and moved away from city we used to live in. 

We have been working on the parenting plan through a “collaborative divorce” process. It is not signed yet, but she agreed on letting the child visit me in thanks giving day and two weeks (one of them I have off from work in April). She did not give me the child in TGD and the second agreed date is coming soon. My son will be 19 months old by that date and I really want to be with him. I have had almost no contact with him since he was a year old. Money is an issue. I do not have a place to stay where she moved and a weekend visitation would cost me more than I can afford. She has not told me anything about my son during all this time. I know he is fine because I pay the medical bills. I saw him once trough a skype session but I don’t think he related the computer with a human being.

Now, she is “worried” about the psychological impact of my son caused by being far away from his mom (I wished she had got this worried when she decided to destroy the marriage). Her mom offered me to stay at her house for a week so I can visit my son my week off (by the way that is news for me, I did not know my ex mother in law had moved to that place too). I think this is just B.S. and there is no way I would stay there.

I know it is my right to be with my son. But, I do not know what is better for him, bring him with me or leave him with his mother. I believe it is stressing for the toddler to be away from his mom but also it is important that he spends time with me. Actually, if he stays there the time without seeing each other would be even longer. Please any advise.


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