# husband's focus



## hbgirl

It's beginning to feel like my husband is always angry whenever he's around the kids. Even worse I think they are starting to feel like they have to be careful so he doesn't get angry with them. He's threatened to snap, send them away etc. I feel like his world revolves around sex. Problem is when he's making the kids feel this way that's the last thing on my mind.


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## MEM2020

Send him here. Or get him a book on how to manage his emotions. 

That said you may be able to help him defuse himself. There have been situations where my W has said to me "do you need a moment" - which means I will handle this for now go cool off before you blow a gasket and say/do something that is not constructive. 




hbgirl said:


> It's beginning to feel like my husband is always angry whenever he's around the kids. Even worse I think they are starting to feel like they have to be careful so he doesn't get angry with them. He's threatened to snap, send them away etc. I feel like his world revolves around sex. Problem is when he's making the kids feel this way that's the last thing on my mind.


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## turnera

How old are the kids? How often do you have bedroom time? How often did you before the kids came? What does he do when he gets home from work? Are you and he taking time off from the kids to be 'dating?'


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## hbgirl

The kids are 13 & 14 and actually we have more bedroom time now than we did for years. He says he can't even get a date with his wife but it's not a date that he wants. The problem is it's never enough--number or to the extremes he wants. He also does things that I feel like he shouldn't because the kids notice things now--his reply is "I've always done this- you just don't like me anymore." I don't think asking if he needs a moment solves how the kids feel because even when he's not around them for awhile within a few minutes he's screaming at them again..........


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## turnera

It sounds like neither one of you is happy in your marriage. I recommend you start out by reading this book - His Needs Her Needs. 

It will explain why he has turned into this angry guy and what you can do about it.


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## AgentD

Might be a good idea too, to read the other thread the OP has going to, explains alot more IMO going on IMO.


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## Jaded Heart

MY H has been snappy at the kids for years, he can't even be home for 10 minutes and he has had enough of our 3 year old daughter. 
Just now my daughter woke up wanting the TV in the living room, she was playing with the tv remote and did something and he said" oh well she wrecks everything" I proceeded to tell her she has to watch tv in her room. He turns and says she can watch tv out here. 

I just don't get him at all


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## hbgirl

We've read articles about His Needs Her Needs before but he's all about his needs. AgentD what thread are you saying I should read & what's it about.....


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## AgentD

hbgirl said:


> We've read articles about His Needs Her Needs before but he's all about his needs. AgentD what thread are you saying I should read & what's it about.....


The one you have about his extreme issues with sex and wanting more etc. I was meaning the others on this thread should read your other one too, might shed some light on things and they might have some more to add on what they have already said. I just think his anger issues and the other thread you have are just terrible. I feel for you, I really do.


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