# new to the forum and would like sme advice please.



## X-KID (Jun 10, 2013)

Hi all,
As the title says i'm new here and would like a bit of advice. In the last two weeks my wife's behavior has changed a bit, ever since we have been together, which is ten years now,married for the last four of those years,we have both always left our phones laying around the house, in fact a lot of the time i cant even remember where mine is. However the last couple of weeks has seen a change in the habits of the way my wife is using her phone. The first thing that has got my attention is the sheer amount of text messages she is now receiving, its almost constant at times, secondly is the fact that her phone now lives in her pocket or if its not in her pocket it is always only a foot or so away from her, if she leaves the room the phone is taken with her. A couple of days ago i did manage to get a chance to have a VERY quick look at her phone, on it i found that it is her boss that is texting all the time. some of the texts i guess you could say were pretty harmless, but there were a few on there which were a fair bit more flirtatious,and she has replied to those, i know some people may say i am over reacting but from a husbands point of view, its not very nice at all. later that day i managed another quick look at her phone and noticed that all the flirtatious texts and her replies had gone. What i think has got to me the most is , yesterday she had a tattoo done, so i dropped her off, and on her request headed home for a couple of hours, got a text to pick her up, which i did. Then while she was having a shower i checked her phone, i found that all the time she was in the tattoo place, she was texting him update pics of the tattoo, and saying " i need hugs it hurts". All i got was a text saying bring the money to pay when you get me!! maybe i am being stupid, but that kinda hurt to know she went to him as it were. My question is do people on here think i may have something to be concerned about, and, if i do have something to be concerned how on earth do i handle this??
Many thanks in advance for any advice.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Ummm. You _dropped_ her off for her tat?! You didn't stay?!

Okay...next or first or whatever issue. Yeah, man - any "boss" who is constantly texting a worker is a big no-no. Not to mention that they're flirty and then she texted him that she needs "hugs".

How f'ng special.

How do you handle it? Lemme ask you this: How do you wanna handle it?


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

You're not overreacting. These are very typical signs of an affair, either one just beginning or one happening already.

If you ask the moderators to move this thread to the Coping With Infidelity forum, you will get very directed advice on how to determine exactly what your wife is doing and how to deal with it in any case.


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

alte Dame said:


> You're not overreacting. These are very typical signs of an affair, either one just beginning or one happening already.
> 
> *If you ask the moderators to move this thread to the Coping With Infidelity forum,* you will get very directed advice on how to determine exactly what your wife is doing and how to deal with it in any case.


:iagree:

read the link at the bottom of my post, it's for newbies.
Man its all about boundaries, what are yours?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Yea this is bad get the phone records and see how many and how far back this goes. Find out more about her boss if he is married you contact his wife/girlfriend and let her know asap. Do not tell your wife. Put a pen VAR in her purse.


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## X-KID (Jun 10, 2013)

thanks for the replies guys, you seem suprised that i left her alo e while she had her tattoo somedaydig , i did say that she requestedtold me to go home, and now i kinda see why!!! how do i ask the moderators to move this post to the coping with infidelity forum, not sure how to as im a bit of a technophobe!!! 
Thanks again
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Constant guarding of a phone is the #1 red flag of an affair. You've checked her messages and seen some inappropriate ones. So, things aren't looking good.

Given the messages that you found, I think there are three possibilities.
1. Things are simply inappropriate right now. It is the early stages of an emotional affair (EA).
2. This is a full-blown EA that has not yet become physical.
3. This is a physical affair (PA).

The first thing you need to do is decide what you will accept. What if she's having sex with her boss. Will you divorce her? Will you accept it? Would you want to reconcile if she ended it?

Once you know what you want, and what you're not willing to accept in each of the three scenarios above, you need to investigate to find out what, exactly, is going on.

What kind of phone does your wife have? Is it a smart phone (iPhone or Android) that you can install spyware on? If so, do it. If not, install a voice-activated recorder (VAR) under the seat of her car, or wherever she makes most of her calls.

Once you know what is happening, and she knows that you know, you have to take immediate action. Otherwise, you look weak and simply embolden her to continue her affair.

Also, if you want to reconcile, and she is having a physical affair, the best course of action is to proceed like you want a divorce. Kick her out of the house immediately. Then, after a few days, you can agree to marriage counseling and entertain the possibility of staying married, as long as she's willing to do much of the heavy lifting on repairing the relationship.

Good luck.


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## torani (May 6, 2013)

Her behavior screams that she is hiding something. Her telling her boss " it hurts and needs hugs " yeah, that sounds like she is comfortable being physical w him... 

There is something going on...


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

so sorry about your situation. you need to immediately and aggressively document this and track it and spy on it. this is not nothing. it is an affair going on right before your very eyes.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Careful, X. My wife, when she was single, had an affair with her married boss. It happens more than you may think. There are wolves out there, predators (he was one and apparently so was she). And I would also be hurt if my wife texted someone else, anyone else (except maybe her brother) that her tattoo hurts and she needs a hug. The updated photos and all that, too. 

If she's deleting texts all the time, there may be a simple answer for that. My phone won't hold a lot of texts so I have to delete some conversation threads to make room for more. W and I use the same phone, and we know at all times who's texting whom and about what. Transparency!

Based on what you've posted, I would also be suspicious.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

The boss is an authority figure who took an interest in your wife. She feeds off the admiration. It most certainly is inappropriate form anyone outside your situation. Tattoo's are not work topics and he is walking a dangerous line from the HR perspective.

Here's the rub though... she may lose her job if you push, he may also.

She sees NOTHING wrong.

This shows me that she resents you that she would let her filters down.

How to handle this... I would tell your wife to handle it. Express your displeasure in this outside work contact.

Also work the resentment angle.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

X-KID said:


> thanks for the replies guys, you seem suprised that i left her alo e while she had her tattoo somedaydig , i did say that she requestedtold me to go home, and now i kinda see why!!! how do i ask the moderators to move this post to the coping with infidelity forum, not sure how to as im a bit of a technophobe!!!
> Thanks again
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Go to the CWI forum and send a personal message to the author of the sticky at the top of the page. Ask him to move your thread to CWI:

Coping with Infidelity


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

X-KID said:


> thanks for the replies guys, you seem suprised that i left her alo e while she had her tattoo somedaydig , i did say that she requestedtold me to go home, and now i kinda see why!!! how do i ask the moderators to move this post to the coping with infidelity forum, not sure how to as im a bit of a technophobe!!!
> Thanks again
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah, man...it's just...well, I know tons of artists who work in joints ~ not the kind of place I'd let my wife go solo first of all. Second, as you saw - she asked you not to be there so she could text the boss. Yeah, bud - you gotta grab this thing by the horns.


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## betrayed2013 (Feb 5, 2013)

this is not good....at all. My stbxw did the exact same thing. Once the phone is guarded u kno for sure shes texting dudes and ones she doesnt want u to kno about. You have to go stealth. If not and u just confront on wat little evidence u have, it will be her replying along the lines of "hes just a friend, why are u spying on me, why dont u trust me etc etc etc. She'll turn it around on u my friend. Then she'll go underground with it, via fb, new email account, burner phone. She'll text when ur not around, when shes in the bathroom, when ur in the bathroom. Ur lucky ur even getting to the phone when she has a shower. When I tried to find my wifes phone when she was in the shower, i couldnt even get to it. I had no idea where she was putting it. Probably in the drawer in the bathroom so I couldnt get to it. This dude clearly wants to bang ur wife and she is def. digging that idea. Hell they might have already started doing that. R u still having regular sex with her and has anything changed in how she acts when ur having sex? Is she trying to pick fights with u and more or less being a b$#@? If so, then she is in a total fog and could care less what u have to offer. Its all about the dopamine high she is getting from her boss. Investigate man!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

X,
I take it your wife has lots of tats? This one was for the boss. What was she commemorating? And they're having an affair.

How old and how many kids? Is the boss married?


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## X-KID (Jun 10, 2013)

Once again thanks for all the replies and advice, i have been considering spy ware on her phone, as i really want some concrete evidence that something is going on, before i go in all guns blazing. I have two questions to do with spy ware. First, how do i get it on her phone,wont it require some sort of instal procedure?? and secondly can anyone recommend a good spyware that is free? money is a bit tight, and yes there was an argument about her getting a tattoo as money is tight. I'm still struggling to get into my head that, this little bit of evidence i have(some texts and the fact she is guarding her phone) is proof that something is going on. Maybe i'm just trying to believe it isn't true. To answer your questions Machiavelli this was her first tattoo, i'm 33 she is 36, we have no children and, as far as i know her boss isn't married but does have a partner.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

If she's guarding her phone that is a huge one. It will be close to impossible to put something like Spy Bubble on there except maybe while she's in the shower. But you better be good with phone stuff as the install and set up will take a few minutes. When did the whole phone guarding begin? Do you remember or has it always been like this?


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Look at this thread for tips on gathering evidence.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...one-interested-evidence-gathering-thread.html

There are a few spyware apps that have demo periods. If she's hot and heavy with her boss, a few days of monitoring may give you the evidence you need. If you need to monitor her longer, you will have to purchase the software.

Some software has a monthly, or yearly, fee. Some doesn't. And yes, you'll need access to her phone.

What kind of phone is it? If it's an iPhone, you can recover some deleted texts from the last time she synced it with iTunes.

If you need the phone for longer than a few minutes, try waking up, or staying up, late at night after your wife is asleep.

Good luck.


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## laya (Jun 4, 2013)

she is guarding the phone for a reason. my husband and i have had the same cell phone numbers for many years but different phones over the years. he recently switched up to a smart phone. i got uber paranoid b/c now he can access the internet, look at porn, go to dating sites, etc. however, he has never once guarded that phone. if he were doing questionable things with it, i believe the first thing he would do would be to keep it away from me. he leaves it lying around all the time, while he works in the garden and even goes to the store without it, giving me free access to look whenever i want. so, yeah, she's hiding something. not sure what exactly just yet. but the boss thing is completely inappropriate and i would be sitting little miss down to have a talk real quick.

i should add that my husband disabled the google web history feature. he claims that he didn't and that it must've happened when he updated his phone. whatever, i say. but at worst, i believe he's viewing soft core porn and i cannot control what he does so i don't worry about it. expect the worst, pray for the best. but that is the only suspicious thing i've found and i've since enabled google web history and haven't found anything suspicious. but if he started acting like your wife, i'd be worried.


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## X-KID (Jun 10, 2013)

I think i will give it a few days untill saturday then, if the texts and guarding of the phone continue, i will just out right ask her whats going on. If she goes nuts,because there really is nothing going on then i can argue the "i'm just concerned" angle. if however there is more going on than i think, she will be packing her stuff, quick smart.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

My husbands EA was with a superior at his old job. Text and calls twenty four seven. Eventually he was busted by a text that woke me and exposed the whole thing.

Do not stick your head in the sand. Do some detective work and do not let on to her that you are investigating her. I would use the suggested spy bubble if you can get a hold of her phone long enough because it shows you erased text too. Nothing sucks more then knowing there was texting from phone records yet the content is unknown because they were erased.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

X-KID said:


> I think i will give it a few days untill saturday then, if the texts and guarding of the phone continue, i will just out right ask her whats going on. If she goes nuts,because there really is nothing going on then i can argue the "i'm just concerned" angle. if however there is more going on than i think, she will be packing her stuff, quick smart.


You have to be way more clear about your boundaires.
Regardless what your evidence is/will be (please, keep snooping and save the evidence), regardless the extent of what was/is going on.. thrre's something very obvious just with what you already have: *She has to quit that job like yesterday*. NC is a must and quitting the job is a boundarie you have to put in place no matter what.
NC (with implies quitting the job) or divorce, no grey areas, no barganing, no time to think, explanations, delaying, she quit and start job hunting ASAP.
You have to be ready to lose your marriage in order to save it. If she try to bully or start packing you help her and open the door for her. Of course you immediately expose to HR.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

X-KID said:


> I think i will give it a few days untill saturday then, if the texts and guarding of the phone continue, i will just out right ask her whats going on. If she goes nuts,because there really is nothing going on then i can argue the "i'm just concerned" angle. if however there is more going on than i think, she will be packing her stuff, quick smart.


*Nooooooooooooooooooo, absolutely not!!!!!!!!!!*

She is in an affair, no doubt about it, confronting her will make her and him hide it better and take it underground. How big is the company she works for, do they have an HR dept.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Find out more about her boss if he is married or has a girlfriend then expose and don't tell your wife.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Can you make a surprise visit to her workplace and take her out to lunch. Check out how those two react when you show up plus you want to see what he looks like for any future investigations.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

X-KID said:


> Once again thanks for all the replies and advice, i have been considering spy ware on her phone, as i really want some concrete evidence that something is going on, before i go in all guns blazing. I have two questions to do with spy ware. First, how do i get it on her phone,wont it require some sort of instal procedure?? and secondly can anyone recommend a good spyware that is free? money is a bit tight, and yes there was an argument about her getting a tattoo as money is tight. I'm still struggling to get into my head that, this little bit of evidence i have(some texts and the fact she is guarding her phone) is proof that something is going on. Maybe i'm just trying to believe it isn't true. To answer your questions *Machiavelli this was her first tattoo,* i'm 33 she is 36, we have no children and, as far as i know her boss isn't married but does have a partner.


Well, that's even worse. We're way beyond casual sex. She's really into him. Does she drive a car to work? If so, VAR the thing.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

She is cheating. The phone thing is not just a red flag, its maybe THE BIGGEST way cheaters are first caught/suspecting in a large number of all TAM threads !


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

X, you need to start making some physical and attitudinal changes, more than likely. You're wife attractiveness peaked at about 28 and has been going down, unless she's very exceptional, no matter how hot she is. This is probably why she's whøring up her appearance with tatts at OM's instigation. This ups her sex rank a bit by, just like wearing stripper heels and no bra, only it's indelible. Meanwhile your true sex rank is going up, up, up, unless you're an overweight wussy. 

What kind of shape are you in?

How often to random women strike up conversation with you or respond with interest when you approach them?

What kind of phone is she using?


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

X-KID said:


> I think i will give it a few days untill saturday then,* if the texts and guarding of the phone continue*, i will just out right ask her whats going on. If she goes nuts,because there really is nothing going on then i can argue the "i'm just concerned" angle. if however there is more going on than i think, she will be packing her stuff, quick smart.


Then prepare your confrontation speech, 'cause she ain't stoppin' without a fight.

Pack a bag for her to stay somewhere else for at least the night, so you have it ready for when she tells you it's nothing and she isn't doing to stop.

Mind you, she's probably not going to leave, but it's more for effect.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> Then prepare your confrontation speech, 'cause she ain't stoppin' without a fight.
> 
> Pack a bag for her to stay somewhere else for at least the night, so you have it ready for when she tells you it's nothing and she isn't doing to stop.
> 
> Mind you, she's probably not going to leave, but it's more for effect.


When you do confront, print divorce papers and have them ready it will show you are not playing around and maybe shock her out of the "fog". Give her 2 minutes to make a decision you or her boss! If it's only been a few weeks you have a chance if you go scorched earth.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

You need to pull up those cell phone records ASAP to find out how long, how frequent, what days and what time this texting has been going on. On her way home from work? On the weekends? Mainly when you're not around? With every month of frequent texting, the likelihood of this being a PA increases exponentially. 

I can recommend Spybubble, but I would also look into finding a way to recover those deleted texts and put a VAR in her car yesterday. You need to make yourself into a stealth technology expert. Google and TAM is your best friend in that regard. Pay the bucks for the software. This is not the time to pinch pennies. Your marriage is at stake.

Be cool and don't alert her to what you're doing until you have evidence to confront. Check back here before you do and we'll guide you through the process.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

X-KID said:


> I think i will give it a few days untill saturday then, if the texts and guarding of the phone continue, i will just out right ask her whats going on. If she goes nuts,because there really is nothing going on then i can argue the "i'm just concerned" angle. if however there is more going on than i think, she will be packing her stuff, quick smart.


That's one way to play it, but you risk her coming up with plausible denials, and taking the affair underground. It will make her that much more difficult catch.

If you insist on confronting without solid evidence, at least put a VAR in her car before you do. That will be your best bet at catching her at that point.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Yes put a VAR in her car and at least one more in the house now!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Where's her tatt, what is it, and do you know the significance?


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## PamJ (Mar 22, 2013)

What design is the tattoo?


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

X-kids you really need to start getting deep into this. What kind of phone does she have. Also I would suggest losing your phone one day and go on a very long and important trip that you will need to ask her opinion on. This will only work if you have a landline. So simply say you are going to do some shopping and you don't have your phone. Tell her that you need to borrow her phone for the day. 
If she puts up an arguement then persist. It will put her into a bad situation. really bad. 

She can't say no without drawing suspicion. (if she is thinking that deeply) 
and if she turns the phone over to you you will have unfettered access to communicate with the boss. 
I would also cut the home phone line on the way out the door. So she can't call him and warn him. Then you get to be a fly on the wall.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Where's her tatt, what is it, and do you know the significance?


Is it the "tramp stamp"? I hope not. Nip this bs asap jmo.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

It is not about the tattoo or placement. It is about her issue of concealing stuff that the OP has discovered.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Based on you only noticing it for two weeks, maybe it hasn't progressed too far.

You think you have slim evidence, but trust us, your wife either is cheating with this guy already or headed there.

He is flirting with her and she is responding in kind. She is hiding it from you - hiding her phone, deleting her texts, more interested in sharing her experiences with him than sharing them with you - this is a new and exciting romance she is nurturing.

The tattoo was for him.

Fastest way for you to get evidence that will make even you think something is wrong is from a voice-activated recorder. Buy a couple of those and some heavy-duty velcro, put one under the seat of her car, put another in the house where she is likely to talk to him when you are not around. You will have your answer within a week.

Get the VARs in place. In the meantime, check out the phone bill to see how often they text. The deeper the affair becomes, you will see that she texts him "good morning sweetie I love you" first thing every morning and "good night sweetie sweet dreams" sometime before bed each night.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

OK OP. I'm going to comment on this tattoo business. If your money is tight and you didn't want her to get a tattoo, why did you pay for it and why did you take her to the parlor? Honestly, I may have missed some things, but if you haven't figured it out yet, you are too much of a nice guy. At least that is how you come across to me so far in this thread. Right now you have an immediate issue to deal with - the possibility of a budding affair between your wife and her boss. 

Also, I think the biggest issue you have right now in relation to your long term marital success is that your wife does not view you as a lover anymore. You are no longer desirable in her eyes. Why is that? Are you the nice guy - doing too much around the house plus everything for her while she loses respect for you because you put too much value on her? Or are you the guy that shuts her out regularly in favor of hanging out with friends, playing video games, etc? Or have you been doing most of the right things in your marriage and it's your wife that is going through something nutty right now? You will need to think long and hard about your recent marital history to try to figure out what situation applies to you best. It may not be listed here - I merely threw out a few possibilities. 

But one thing for sure is that she lost her attraction to you. The how or why is the big question(s) you need to work on in order to fix your marriage - if you still want to save it.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Was wondering why I didnt see this one. Wrong forum? OK X Im the resident cheating wife buster tho I wont discriminate against busting a husband if one comes along. Here is your plan for TOMORROW. Not next week. Tomorrow. You still MIGHT have a chance they have not done the deed... Maybe.

Buy 2 sony ICDPX312 voice activated recorders. Best Buy sells them for like 50 bucks. DO NOT BUY THE cheapies BUY SONY!!! The sound quality is as good as you will get before you get to battery eating brands. USE LITHIUM batteries. We have examples of 25 hour recordings using them on these sony recorders.

Go to Walmart and buy heavy duty velcro.

Use the velcro to attach the var under her seat. DO IT WELL and TURN OFF THE DAMN BEEP that it does. Its on one of the menus or even better cut the wires to the speaker. SECURE IT WELL!!!!!!

Put the second in whatever room she uses to talk in when you are not around.

Usual warning. If you hear another man get in her car STOP Listening and have a trusted friend tell you what went on. Knowing she is a cheat will kill you. Hearing her moan while another man is inside her will murder you to your very soul!!!!!! You are not strong enough to hear that. Dont try it. I know what I am talking about in this.

NO CONFRONTS UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!! Play dumb husband for a bit. Dont drive her underground! 

Steel yourself for the ugly possibility of a full PA. Odds are about 60% and rising.

DO THIS NOW!!!!!! Not in 1 hour. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. There is still a shot it is not physical tho that deceases by the minute!

If you need clean up the recordings get Audacity. Its free from the internet. I have used it on var work for others here to remove things like engine noise.

Oh what state are you in so we know how much proof you need etc.

Ages?

Kids?

Are you still getting laid?

Oh and I have written confront scripts for others here. I know 2 were used and were successful in breaking the wife to confess. If you hang around long enough to get to a hard core confront I can help you there too.

And WTF is this tattoo idea? Did you like the idea? Do you have tats? she seems rather old for a first Tat. That age is often when they start buying wrecking balm...

SAVE ALL EVIDENCE in TWO OFFSITE places!!!!!!!!

What is her phone make model and carrier?

I want to hear tomorrow you are starting my plan. I cant go to best buy for you.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Is she staying at work late, extra hours?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> It is not about the tattoo or placement. It is about her issue of concealing stuff that the OP has discovered.


It is if the tatt was gotten at the instigation of the OM. Since this was her first tattoo, and she didn't want BH present at the inking and she was in constant commo with OM while it was happening, we know it was done to mark OM's property. Kind of like "Property of Satan's Slaves."


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

X-KID said:


> i checked her phone, i found that all the time she was in the tattoo place, she was texting him update pics of the tattoo, and saying " i need hugs it hurts". All i got was a text saying bring the money to pay when you get me!!


 That right there crossed the line. Telling you to go home so that she could share the experience of her first tattoo with this other man (OM) instead of you is what you do when you are in an emotional affair (EA). Even though there is no sex involved in an EA it is still cheating. Add in the heavy texting and there is no doubt that she is in an EA with her boss. Google "emotional affair" and then get a copy of "Not Just Friends" today.

Also, since she see the OM at work, there is a good chance that it will become a physical affair (PA) if it has not already. You know enough to confront now. You do not need to prove that you saw what you saw to her to confront. You saw the texts and she saw the texts. Tell her that she must stop this EA now and look for a new job immediately. Demand full transparency including all passwords.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

TRy said:


> That right there crossed the line. Telling you to go home so that she could share the experience of her first tattoo with this other man (OM) instead of you is what you do when you are in an emotional affair (EA). Even though there is no sex involved in an EA it is still cheating. Add in the heavy texting and there is no doubt that she is in an EA with her boss. Google "emotional affair" and then get a copy of "Not Just Friends" today.
> 
> Also, since she see the OM at work, there is a good chance that it will become a physical affair (PA) if it has not already. You know enough to confront now. You do not need to prove that you saw what you saw to her to confront. You saw the texts and she saw the texts. Tell her that she must stop this EA now and look for a new job immediately. Demand full transparency including all passwords.


:iagree:You should stop this asap!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

She is gonna shoot his azz down 75% chance. He does not have enough tho he is close. This is RDMU all over again.

He does not know if it is a PA for example. We need the unanswered questions answered too for better judgement. he has not been back since yesterday.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

weightlifter said:


> She is gonna shoot his azz down 75% chance. He does not have enough tho he is close. This is RDMU all over again.
> 
> He does not know if it is a PA for example. We need the unanswered questions answered too for better judgement. he has not been back since yesterday.


Its enough for me, I would be standing on her bosses desk.................


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

I'm gonna laugh my f'ng ass off it the tatt is a butterfly or something :rofl:


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

I see em as I call em Chap. This confront is weak and he will lose his sole intel source at the same time. Shes gonna chew him up and spit him out. He also need to try for some intel if this is physical... Note I am not saying 2 months. I am saying two weeks unless he gets intel saying hookup imminent.

Respectfully of course. In general, I like your work here.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

What kind of employer have they got?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> I'm gonna laugh my f'ng ass off it the tatt is a butterfly or something :rofl:


Not if it was OM's choice or OM said "this butterfly will look good right over your p•ssy"

It's all about the context and I think OM was the instigator. There is not any way in the world her behavior in this incident was innocent. First tatt? get real.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Not if it was OM's choice or OM said "this butterfly will look good right over your p•ssy"
> 
> It's all about the context and I think OM was the instigator. There is not any way in the world her behavior in this incident was innocent. First tatt? get real.


That's why this sh!t ends now. He has all he needs confront today.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Not if it was OM's choice or OM said "this butterfly will look good right over your p•ssy"
> 
> It's all about the context and I think OM was the instigator. There is not any way in the world her behavior in this incident was innocent. First tatt? get real.


LOL...I was more laughing when I saw the Property of Satan's Slaves but didn't realize there were posts after that. I wanted my comment to be under yours for the comedic value.

Truth is, for a chick getting her first bit of ink and YOU OP were not there for it. That is a no-go, like I said in my first post.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

X-Kid

You have received good advice so far.

If you get access to her phone maybe you can have a copy of her texts or messages forwarded to your email.

A few posters have done that before.

That way she can delete all she wants but you will have copies of the messages.

Good Luck

HM64


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> LOL...I was more laughing when I saw the Property of Satan's Slaves but didn't realize there were posts after that. I wanted my comment to be under yours for the comedic value.


You know, I looked all over for photo of the Satan's Slaves but they seem to be lost to history. I think they were absorbed into these guys:


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

weightlifter said:


> This confront is weak and he will lose his sole intel source at the same time. Shes gonna chew him up and spit him out. He also need to try for some intel if this is physical... Note I am not saying 2 months. I am saying two weeks unless he gets intel saying hookup imminent.


 Although it is often wise to wait to gather intel, if the OP's goal is to save his marriage, he needs to stop it before it hits the point of no return. He has enough info now to confirm that it is an EA. Waiting to see if it is a PA will only allow the affair more time to be come a PA if it has not already. The odds of saving the marraige go down with each hour that she is in the affair.

All cheaters lie. She is a cheater so she will lie. Waiting for a lying cheat to admit anything often takes more time than you have as the affair deepens. Too many wait to have undeniable evidence that will force the cheater to confess their sins, but many times if you wait for that, the affair gets so strong that the cheater will not give it up even if they admit it. If you know the truth that they are cheating, and they know the truth that they are cheating, you do not need for them to admit anything for you to take action. You do not need the cheater to admit anything for you to tell them that you know that they are in an affair, and if they do not go full no contact and agree to full transpancy (includes all passwords) without complaint, you will file for divorce. She will either agree to your terms or let you divorce her. If she is willing to let you divorce her based on her lying that there is no affair, then you do not really have a marriage worth saving and divorce is the correct course of action.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

chapparal said:


> Its enough for me, I would be standing on her bosses desk.................


 :iagree::iagree:
Exactly right!!!!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Looks like Elvis has left the building.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I'm betting the wife got the tat to impress the boss. Your gonna find he's into chicks with tats. Obviously it ain't for you.

Don't okay games here, go straight to hr and call the boss out.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Any news?


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

you out there xkid?


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