# Can You Still Have Friends of the Opposite Sex (When You’re Married)?



## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

When you get married, it means that you always have a friend by your side. Your spouse is the person who knows you best and the two of you have a special bond. Just because your spouse is your best friend, however, doesn’t mean that the two of you shouldn’t have friends of your own. But what about friends of the opposite sex? Is that appropriate? 

*Tips for Maintaining Boundaries in Opposite-Sex Friendships*

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex when you’re married, as long as you take certain precautions to maintain boundaries. Here are some simple tips to keep in mind when you have opposite-sex friendships:

•	*Make sure your spouse knows the person.* You don’t necessarily need to include your spouse every time you hang out with your friend, but you should at least make introductions. 

•	*Don’t spend too much time alone together.* While there’s nothing wrong with having an opposite-sex friend, it’s important to maintain boundaries and to avoid potentially compromising situations.

•	*Honor your spouse’s wishes.* Though you shouldn’t feel like you aren’t allowed to have opposite-sex friends, you should at least talk to your spouse about it and, if they are very uncomfortable with it, take that into account. 

•	*Don’t vent about your marriage.* Having a close friend means you have someone to confide in, but it’s a slippery slope when it comes to sharing details about your marriage – it’s best to keep your personal life personal when it comes to opposite-sex friends. 

•	*Have friends as a couple.* If you’re spending a lot of time with a friend of the opposite sex, try to include your spouse when appropriate so that both of you can be friends. You may be surprised to find that the three of you all get along!

These are by no means hard and fast rules. Every relationship is different, so your spouse may be completely fine with you having opposite-sex friends or he may not be. The important thing to remember is that you should be respectful of your spouse and of your marriage in all things. 

*Nurture Your Friendship with Your Spouse *

In addition to following the tips above to maintain appropriate boundaries with your opposite-sex friends, you should also make sure that you’re nurturing the relationship you have with your spouse. Your spouse is and should be your best friend, so treat them that way! 

In any marriage it is normal to go through rough patches from time to time. The way you handle those rough patches will determine the course of your future with your spouse and the future of your marriage. If you let yourself become bitter about minor issues, or if you vent to your opposite-sex friend instead of directly talking to your spouse, it can lead to a whole lot of trouble. It’s always best to have the majority of your emotional and physical needs met by your spouse and to keep clear boundaries with opposite-sex friends. 

If you and your spouse are struggling, you may want to avoid close friendships with the opposite sex until you figure things out. Even if there is no way you would ever cheat on your spouse, there is such as thing as emotional infidelity and if you choose to have your emotional needs met by someone other than your spouse, it could lead to problems. 

~ VS Glen, Community Support


----------

