# jumping in with both feet



## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

Hello ladies! I'm not sure what's the protocol here, I've only been reading here few days, but I like what I see, and hey, I've nothing else exciting in my life, so I thought I'd register, introduce myself, and get a bit of advice on a teensy problem I seem to have!

So first, I'm garden girl.... I guess it's pretty obvious why- I love spending time outside with my plants and flowers, and if a shirtless, well built man wants to help, I'm even happier 

I'm currently single, happy to be that way, and in no hurry to get deeply involved. Lets face it, by the time we hit this age (35 here) there is baggage- I have a bit of emotional Samsonite myself, and don't have the closet space for any one elses!
Ok, with work, and such, it's also hard to meet decent men. I'm not into the bar scene. So, all this adds up to a girl that seems to be attractive to the opposite sex, but apparently has too high of standards, and, well..... I've been in a bit of a dry spell. Actually, I feel like I'm in the Sahara! It's been about 2 years, I'm embarrassed to say.

So, on to my issue, and maybe someone can help with some advice- when I'm, um, pushing the doorbell, no one is home. Oh heck, that's probably obtuse- I'm having a hard time orgasming by myself. The drive is there, I WANT to, but just can't. Never had any problem when I was with someone, either by myself, or him giving me one. I'm not into vibrators, but I do have toys, and they are just no longer doing it for me. 

I would love to hear any suggestions any one with similar experience has. I'm wondering if it's been so long without the real thing, that my body is giving up on ever getting it again!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

See a doc and have your hormone levels checked. That's the first thing to do.

Are you depressed? on anti-depressents? any other meds?

What sort of social things do you do outside of work?


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

Thanks Mrs ele! I have not been to a doc, but that's something to consider. I'm definitely not depressed, I'm pretty happy most of the time, and love much about my life. 
Socially, unfortunately, I don't get out as often as I should! Occasionally a dinner and drinks with a couple friends, but they are married, so that's limited. Garden club stuff, lots of little old ladies there, but they aren't my type 

Almost 3am! I'd better get some sleep, I'll be back later and fill in more if there are questions!
Night!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You might want to take a look at Find Meetup groups near you - Meetup They have lots of things that you might enjoy, get you out to meet more people, etc.

It's 'only' 1am here, so i'm off to bed as well. "See ya" tomorrow.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Sounds like you've got a mental roadblock on the orgasm front.I agree with EG on getting yourself checked out physically though.

Typically,and sorry if this is an invasive line of questioning,do you fantasize in order to orgasm alone or does your mind have to be blank/free of distractions?

The reason I ask is bc when I was single and having trouble,I'd view the "classier" porn pics online aimed at women before I attempted to orgasm.It really seemed to put my mind in the right place and I was able to get there easier. After a while it got to where I could fantasize in my own mind without viewing anything to make it happen.


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## althea0212 (Apr 6, 2013)

The first thing to do is to see your ob-gynecologist regarding dryness and hormonal changes and to rule out any health problems. Having orgasm does not only involved arousing oneself. The mind must also be conditioned. It may help to see some porn/erotic videos or photos or chat with a group of people with similar problems. Free your mind from worries as this may block your focus and have a comfortable and private room that is conducive for what you want to achieve. Hope this helps.


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

Thank you ladies. 
I do have a bit of dryness issue. I mean, never with a partner, but by myself, yes, sometimes. A little lube fixes that. 

I'm not much of a porn consumer, but I do think about past experiences, and try to remember those. it's possible that these memories are being somehow lessened in my subconscious by the fact that they are old flames, chapters of my life closed forever.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

What type of man do you prefer? Like, who is your celebrity crush?


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I don't have suggestions but welcome to the crazy group! 

Maybe some heavy flirtation with a cute guy locally would get things going? Get out there girlfriend - there's life to be lived!!!


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

*Re: Re: jumping in with both feet*



southern wife said:


> What type of man do you prefer? Like, who is your celebrity crush?


Have you seen that album of Dustin Lynch, with his face on the cover (fans self furiously)

Did it just get hot in here? 

http://dustinlynchmusic.com/

http://dustinlynchmusic.com/photos


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## gardengirl (Apr 18, 2013)

*Re: Re: jumping in with both feet*



TCSRedhead said:


> I don't have suggestions but welcome to the crazy group!
> 
> Maybe some heavy flirtation with a cute guy locally would get things going? Get out there girlfriend - there's life to be lived!!!


Thanks! I thought the crazy group was the one for men! I read a couple of those, and just thought "wow"


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## firefly789 (Apr 9, 2013)

I would say trying a warm bath first, but it does sound like you are pretty relaxed. Maybe it is time to try a vibrator. There is such a variety that when you shop online maybe one will spark your interest?


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I like reading erotic stories sometimes. Pictorial stuff doesn't do much for me, but I like written things. If you type "erotic stories" into google a whole world opens up!


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