# Why is so hard to let go



## Tainted Halo (Jun 14, 2012)

Some days I find myself happy to be moving forward in our separation, then there are those days I back paddle and keep reopening the old wounds trying to analyze the situation to which I know I shouldn't. For instance stbxh and I live together in his dad's apartment got up to turn off the AC and heard him talking to the OW on the couch instead of just going to bed I snapped got into an argument about the same talk about us and what happened. (Again opening up old wounds) Perhaps I just don't understand his concept of "Doesn't know if he wants to be with me" or "lets see what happens" 

Next week the children and I are moving into our duplex, which I am glad so I can start healing but my goodness saying and doing it are so hard. Part of me says to let him go and the other half still clings for that bit of hope. As a person I feel awful for the infidelity I've done as I am reaping what I sow. I don't expect him to give me another chance as I have crushed his heart completely.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Tainted,
You both cheated on each other with yours being in the past and his in the present? My advice is to just let him go and be the best co-parents you can be for the sake of your children. I know it is hard to do though. My STBXW had, and is still having, multiple affairs. That is not a person I would EVER want back as a spouse. We can be co-parents but that is it. Take time to work on yourself to figure out why YOU cheated and take steps to improve your self-esteem and learn how to set good boundaries so you can have a successful "next" relationship.


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## TemperToo (Apr 23, 2011)

Once you move out, it will get better. In house separation is AWFUL.


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## Tainted Halo (Jun 14, 2012)

Married in VA I do believe as time goes by I will come to understanding and TemperToo yes especially when I know he's communicating with the OW just not near me or the kids. I plan to start a career in Nursing with going to school and I'm really excited about it I have new goals now and a chance to be happy. And if my stbxh work our differences great and if not well may we each find happiness where we go. Some days I feel that way but some nights a revert back and it sucks.


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