# White Spots on his underwear



## sacredheart

Hi everyone! I'm really hoping that some of you can shed some light on an issue I'm having with my boyfriend. Recently while doing laundry in the last few weeks I've noticed a few times white spots/stains in my boyfriends boxers. I'm not sure what they are but I'm thinking it's not good as the days I noticed the spots we weren't intimate and he was at work. Sometimes the stains are hard like an ejaculate stain and sometimes I've noticed that they're not hard. The one day I saw some, they were really low in his boxers. Like where his legs would be. He said that was from cysts/boils that he has on his legs that busted and it must be pus from that. Well, it was ALOT of pus if that were the case. I question it though because it was on the lower part of his boxers.

When I confronted him the other times he says he doesn't know. The only way there would be stains from sexual intercourse would be from us. Those days we were not intimate. 

So my question is, do I need to be concerned that he is cheating? I don't even know if these are ejaculate stains or something else. Can a man have these types of spots/stains normally without sex, etc.?

I'm just really concerned. I can't believe that I'm even to this point where I have to ask but I don't want to be taken advantage of. I'm really asking for your input and it's so greatly appreciated. Thanks!

P.S. I have other reasons to suspect cheating. Secret friendship/relationship with a "friend" at work that he never told me about. THis was back in October. According to him it was just a friendship and all communication has stopped.


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## MarriedWifeInLove

This WOULD NOT cause me to think my husband was cheating.

And my question is, do you always check out all of his clothes like this? 

I just throw my husband's clothes in the washer, I don't inspect them.

I really don't know what to say, so I guess I shouldn't have posted anything, huh?


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## southbound

sacredheart said:


> Hi everyone! I'm really hoping that some of you can shed some light on an issue I'm having with my boyfriend. Recently while doing laundry in the last few weeks I've noticed a few times white spots/stains in my boyfriends boxers. I'm not sure what they are but I'm thinking it's not good as the days I noticed the spots we weren't intimate and he was at work. Sometimes the stains are hard like an ejaculate stain and sometimes I've noticed that they're not hard. The one day I saw some, they were really low in his boxers. Like where his legs would be. He said that was from cysts/boils that he has on his legs that busted and it must be pus from that. Well, it was ALOT of pus if that were the case. I question it though because it was on the lower part of his boxers.
> 
> When I confronted him the other times he says he doesn't know. The only way there would be stains from sexual intercourse would be from us. Those days we were not intimate.
> 
> So my question is, do I need to be concerned that he is cheating? I don't even know if these are ejaculate stains or something else. Can a man have these types of spots/stains normally without sex, etc.?
> 
> I'm just really concerned. I can't believe that I'm even to this point where I have to ask but I don't want to be taken advantage of. I'm really asking for your input and it's so greatly appreciated. Thanks!
> 
> P.S. I have other reasons to suspect cheating. Secret friendship/relationship with a "friend" at work that he never told me about. THis was back in October. According to him it was just a friendship and all communication has stopped.



Any reason to think it is not from boils? Does he not have boils?
I don't recall ever having ejaculation stains in my underwear on a regular basis for whatever reason.:scratchhead:


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## frustr8dhubby

I remember them on occasion in the morning from a wet dream but that's about it.


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## sailorgirl

frustr8dhubby said:


> I remember them on occasion in the morning from a wet dream but that's about it.



That is what I’m thinking, a wet dream, because if a man if having an affair I don't think he is ejacuting in his boxers. He would be doing it with the other woman.


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## frustr8dhubby

I guess another possibility could be from a lapdance but I personally have never lost it in my pants from one. I know that some men do though. Now that I think about it, it has been way too many years since I've had a lap dance...


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## southbound

sailorgirl said:


> That is what I’m thinking, a wet dream, because if a man if having an affair I don't think he is ejacuting in his boxers. He would be doing it with the other woman.[/QUO
> 
> :iagree:


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## SHARKY

He could be masturbating more often now...


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## loveless25

I heard they sell kits on-line to see if your man or woman is cheating. Maybe you could get one to check.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## southbound

loveless25 said:


> I heard they sell kits on-line to see if your man or woman is cheating. Maybe you could get one to check.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Kits to test for cheating? I'm almost afraid to ask how that works.:rofl:


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## sacredheart

Hi guys...it's alot...sometimes it's hard sometimes it's not...

Sometimes I think it could be that he's having sex with someone else and it's the juices from her. Like after they have sex he just pulls his boxers up and it's her stuff dried on his boxers? Is that an option?

But then again, he does have those boils...if they burst would they leave that much of a pus stain?


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## frustr8dhubby

Ok I'm already about to puke and not to make it worse but do they smell like semen?


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## trey69

Other than the underwear issues, what other signs have you noticed or would make you feel he might be cheating?


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## sacredheart

Hi guys - it does not smell like semen...sometimes it has a scent that I can't pinpoint though..

I believe he is cheating because I found out he was at a bar with some woman and then he was texting her all day at work but deleted the texts from his phone. NEVER told me about her. Says they were just friends. Why did he hide the relationship then? Right? He says he has cut all ties. I just don't believe him. Plus, lipstick stain on his collar once and lipstick on his lower shirt (well, what I thought was lipstick). I just don't know if I'm just paranoid. I do have trust issues.


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## Jenniferm

I think you should start cehcking him out, (just to be sure) as he will not tell you and all seems suspiciuos..


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## sacredheart

Yes Jenniferm but how do I check him out? He knows I'm on to him cell phone wise and underwear wise...he's not going to make calls other than from his office, payphone, etc. What are my other options?


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## Jenniferm

Well just observe him and you can aslo see by his behavior, how and with whom is he spending his time.You don;t have to act detective in that sense... But anyhow, don't worry cause lies have short legs they say, so it will come out if it is happening. If you have already asked him about this and confronted him, he already feels bad about it.(


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## Trooper

This may be extreme, but my husband is a compulsive liar and I have so much suspicion that my therapist actually suggested a private detective just so I can finally have peace of mind (hopefully). My husband takes frequent vacations with his guy friends, has had women call him before, tells me one thing and other people something else and hides things from me (porn, steroids, spending habits) yet he is adamant that he has never cheated on me, but it just does not fit with his behavior. I believe actions speak louder than words and am so consumed with doubt about his feelings for me that I may do what my therapist suggested. I guess hiring a detective is extreme, but can give you peace of mind.


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## Crankshaw

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> This WOULD NOT cause me to think my husband was cheating.
> 
> And my question is, do you always check out all of his clothes like this?
> 
> I just throw my husband's clothes in the washer, I don't inspect them.


My wife checks my pants pockets before she throws them in the washer, looking for loose change, rarely finds any though


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## Jenniferm

Crankshaw said:


> My wife checks my pants pockets before she throws them in the washer, looking for loose change, rarely finds any though



I always check my husband's pockets when I do the laundry, just so I don't wash any money. This is just perfectly NORMAL!


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## twoplusthree

Jenniferm said:


> I always check my husband's pockets when I do the laundry, just so I don't wash any money. This is just perfectly NORMAL!



I always check my husband's pockets too. He is so bad at emptying them. Not just money - notes about work, keys, and once a USB stick.

Also, it may be more suspicious if he starts doing his own laundry. The fact that he's still letting you do it may indicate he has nothing to hide.

You could also try asking a doctor about the pus-thing (I hate the word 'pus').


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## sacredheart

Hi guys...he does do his own laundry alot...we actually both do but there are plenty of times he does it before I get home because he's off of work earlier...

I have been watching his behavior. He's ALWAYS home when I'm home but he does have 3 hours of time to do whatever before I get there. Plus, he could be seeing her during work hours as well so him being home when I'm home doesn't necessarily mean he's not cheating...


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## arbm

Im still a tad concerned that you inspect the crouch of your bf boxers.....i just gather up all my hubbys washing and chuck in the machine even if i did think he is having an affair this is DEFINATLY not proof...

Men are sexual beings they think about sex constantly and get erections at any moment, is it not possible that this happened and by the time he "went down" he had not "dried off " ? 
This would be a natural conclusion.

Has he displayed any other behaviour to make you think he's having it off with another woman? do you smell his shirts for purfume too or just check his boxers? How would you feel if he checked your knickers to see if you had spots there? do you not ever think of something sexual and not get excited (even just slightly) 

I hate to say it but weather he is or not i think its time you called it quits with this guy, because i dont think you will ever trust him... washing is bad enough without having to inspect his undies too.....


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## psychocandy

sailorgirl said:


> That is what I’m thinking, a wet dream, because if a man if having an affair I don't think he is ejacuting in his boxers. He would be doing it with the other woman.


LOL :smthumbup:


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## sacredheart

Hi all - hope everyone had a good weekend...

I want to point out to everyone that I don't "inspect" his boxers...I just happened to notice a few times as I was throwing in the laundry...it was just obvious..

I want to also say that I don't know if this is common with men or not, but he carries baby wipes or any kind of wipe with him in his work bag...he says it's cause he likes to feel "fresh"...sometimes this strikes me as odd...like why is he cleaning his privates before he gets home or whatever...right? Or is this a common thing for men?


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## Deejo

Here is my wild a$$ guess. 

I suspect that he masturbates ... frequently. And probably in what I would refer to as 'dangerous' settings to heighten his excitement. Or, somebody is helping him stay 'fresh'.

Carrying baby wipes? Those are used for 'clean-up' not to 'freshen'.

Again, I will couch this as complete and utter speculation. Bottom line? He ain't telling you the truth. The truth may or may not be all that sinister.


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## Jenniferm

Wow, baby wipes, don't know any man carrying that, unless you travel somewhere or similar. I know it is hard on you, but keep your eyes open and when you have some facts, confront him.


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## moonangel

Why are you so concerned? If you think he's cheating, he's cheating. He's your b/f? Well, be glad you're not married to him.


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## jonny

Maybe masturbation. Does he shower daily? Wear the same underwear a couple days in a row? I get white spots on my underwear from masturbation. 

I have friends who admit to masturbating in the washroom at work - they're in offices with single bathrooms though - I don't see how you could do it in a shared / public washroom.

Okay - I'm a man - I COULD see how you could do it - but I can't imagine it.

Taking a woman into a public bathroom - that's a different thing.

Moonangels answer of " If you think he's cheating, he's cheating" is a little out there. I'm not saying he isn't - but you can't yet say he is.

Gather evidence, keep an eye on it.

This may cross a line for you, but you said you're not being intimate. When my wife and I are not - I masturbate very frequently. Maybe just start grabbing him in bed and doing the job for him - hey , it only takes 30 seconds 

Seriously though - you don't know he's cheating yet. He may rather say it's from boils on his legs than admit to you he's masturbating during the day. 

Have you done anything to cause him not to want to tell you about masturbation. Overreacted about masturbation in the past? Told him you don't like it? Made it a problem? Sorry if this was asked - I might have missed it.

If he feels you don't approve of it - he may lie.


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## jonny

Jenniferm said:


> Wow, baby wipes, don't know any man carrying that, unless you travel somewhere or similar. I know it is hard on you, but keep your eyes open and when you have some facts, confront him.


Baby wipes. 

Howard stern and more men are starting to carry these for clean up after number 2. You use the paper - then final with the baby wipe for total cleanliness. Plus it's much more gentle on the butt / gets away from problems that may upset past fissures etc.

Hey - I'm just saying. 

I've considered it. 

If your man listens to howard stern, sirius radio - he'll have considered it as well.

lol


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## jonny

twoplusthree said:


> I always check my husband's pockets too. He is so bad at emptying them. Not just money - notes about work, keys, and once a USB stick.
> 
> Also, it may be more suspicious if he starts doing his own laundry. The fact that he's still letting you do it may indicate he has nothing to hide.
> 
> You could also try asking a doctor about the pus-thing (I hate the word 'pus').


The boils thing.

You're his girlfriend - You could easily get to the groin area to see if there's any 'boils' there, and any recently ruptured ones.

EASILY.


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## Figuring it out

I'm thinking the masterbation therory is the best one out there right now, other than believing what the bf says directly about the boils.

The post about lipstick on the shirt would worry me though. Did he try to explain that away too?

I would feel terrible if I didn't believe my husband's answer and it turned out to be the truth. What if he has a medical issue (like the boils) or something along those lines that he doesn't feel comfortable discussing? 

Just a thought.


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## bluesky

Here are the facts:

1.) he was at a bar with some woman and then he was texting her all day at work but deleted the texts from his phone. NEVER told me about her. Says they were just friends.

2') Plus, lipstick stain on his collar once and lipstick on his lower shirt (well, what I thought was lipstick). 

3.) Suspicious, repeated stains on his underwear.

4.) Baby wipes in his 'work bag'

*He is cheating.*


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## GeeTGee

Totally disagree with bluesky.
I wouldn't say he is or isn't cheating. You need FACTS! And you need to figure out how to get the facts.
You said yourself you weren't sure it was lipstick.
Has your sexual frequency with him changed at all?
He could very well be addicted to porn at work and masturbating frequently there. Semen-ish stains in a mans underwear are quite common if he gets aroused in any way. For all you know he could be getting aroused at work thinking about you!
I know of friends who were so into a girl that they admitted to pulling off on a country road and masterbating in thier car on thier way home from her house.
The truth is you don't know the truth and neither do we.
You need to get real facts about whats going on.
Maybe you will have to do some in depth investigating if it will make you feel better.
If you love him, whatever you do make sure you get your facts straight.

If you appreciate this advice could you click on my username, then "statistics" then "threads started by this user" and go give me some advice on my issue? Lol. Pretty Please??


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## sacredheart

Hi everyone...I've been missing for a bit...car accident...ugh!

Anyway, I'm so confused...I don't know what to do..

Our sex life hasn't changed at all...we're pretty stable as it's always been...

I just don't get the baby wipe thing and the spots...I know you guys mention masturbation but he seems to never have a problem telling me he's done so?

I'm trying to figure out when he'd have the time to be with another woman? I mean he does work at a factory and I suppose they could sneak off places...

I'm also bummed because I found out who she is and I'm not trying to be conceited but she is ten years older than me and him..not attractive like me at all and just seems like someone he'd never touch..I'm truly amazed..she's gross to me...Why do guys cheat with woman who are less attractive, etc. than their woman at home?

I just don't know what to do...I'm so sad and stressed and at the same token in denial...


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## MsLady

So you know he's cheating with that woman?

Anyway, to me the issue is ultimately not whether there's enough proof that he is or isn't cheating. But, rather, the issue is that you don't trust him. You may have cause or you may be totally paranoid. Either way, it's not a healthy relationship.

Seems like couple or individual counseling is in order to address why you don't trust him. If the mistrust continues, I think you need to move on to another relationship. It makes no sense to live in that kind of mistrust and constant suspicion.

Question: Have you been in a similar situation in previous relationships (suspecting cheating or being cheated on?) Has this man ever cheated on you that has been confirmed (prior to your current suspicions?) Have you ever trusted this man not to cheat on you?

Sometimes the bottom line is that you don't trust somebody. And you shouldn't be in relationships with people that you don't trust. Simple.


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## GeeTGee

This almost sounds like a classic case like this one, Lol>>>

*Her Diary*
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. 
We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. 
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' 
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. 
About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -I cried. 
I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



*His Diary*
My Harley wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.


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## Shianne

That is excellent GeeTGee!! So true

As for the OP. You mention boils? Are these frequent? Is he diabetic? 
If yes then the stinky smell would be noticable... and stinky, necrotic flesh stinky. However it would explain thebaby wipes very soundly. An extra level of clean is needed for boils. 

As for the OW men don't need younger, better looking. They just need affection, interest and the feeling of being wanted. Just like women...


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## GeeTGee

And in addition to what Shianne is saying; he could be having other issues also. Such as if he battles a mild form of the males version of a yeast infection. Actually it's more like a fungus in the groin area, especially on each side of the scrotum in which it can get nasty smelly and if it gets bad it can itch but the smell can get pretty bad if not treated with antifungal treatments.
He could be having a combination of symptoms that he's not comfortable talking about.
There's a lot of possibilities. #1 get the facts!


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## sacredheart

Thanks Shianee and GeeTGee -

He has love and affection and lots of attention and great sex and a good looking woman who is his best friend and lover and someone who loves and takes care of him and his daughters like his own...why on earth would he needto seek this elsewhere if he has all of this already? That's what I'm trying to figure out....


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## Jones

I don't know about you guys but when me and wifey have sex at night and i just put on undies after, the next morning there are always white stains in the front. The stains are not from me, they are from her. 
If these are the stains you see, then he is cheating.
I am sorry to tell you. 
Don't let himi get away with it either.


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## sacredheart

Yes Jones - these were the white stains I saw on two occasions...He was at work during the day and we weren't intimate at those times...could it be anything else? Would it be hard if it were from a woman? Like a man's semen?

I'm so sick to my stomach right now...


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## Jones

i know this is a little gross, but it is kindof hard, almost crusty. Ive never seen a man's semen look like this. It doesn't turn white. This is definitely from a woman.


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## sacredheart

Jones this stuff wasn't crusty or hard at all either....

I've seen his stuff and it was white? Hard and crusty...


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## Jones

SH, the only time ive had white stuff in my drawers was after i had sex with the wife. Happens almost always when i don't clean up right after. And the white stuff does not come from me...it is from the wife. Ive never had my semen turn white if it got on my underwear. Just the stuff that comes from my wife.


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## pugsx

When I do my kegels, I secreat a lot of pre-cum. Hence the white spots on the underwear. 

Baby wipes..... perhaps he like a clean feeling after a bowel movement? I know a guy in the office who placed a box of baby wipes in each toilet cubicle.


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## tinkerbelletee

He is obviously cheating on you  ......I mean going to a bar without your knowledge let alone without you....come on girl he is cheating and you should walk away from it.....be the bigger person and put it this way "if he's doing it to you of course hes gonna screw her over and that my dear wont be your problem anymore.....let that woman have your tears and your leftovers, the baggage and the insecurity...she will live it the infidelity, she will breathe in the next womans perfume and most disgustingly embrace his body thats been with someone else.....let her suffer and as for him.....karma is a b%^&h!!!! 

Walk away knowing.......that shes gonna start living that awful life !!!!! :rofl:

Good luck


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## Tamgerine

What I find curious is how you know which pair of underwear corresponds with which days you've had sex. You can't have so much laundry that you wash his underwear every single day. Are you for certain he's not just wearing the same pair of underwear for two or so days at a time?


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## ClipClop

Didn't one of the posters here find the first clues to her husbands affair by his shorts? If her gut thinks it, it might be so.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear

This probably was that thread, resurrected from February...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Janie

I'm stuck on the idea this is a boyfriend, not a husband.

Trust issues abound. You admit to trust problems and he admits to sneaky behavior. Bad combination. You will bring out each others' worst.

How long in this relationship? 
Is this the man you want to marry? 
Why you doing his laundry - you live together? 
Kids?


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## SunnyT

*Why do guys cheat with woman who are less attractive, etc. than their woman at home?*

For whatever reason, she is giving him SOMETHING he isn't getting at home.... just sayin. Could be a sex act that wife doesn't like to do, could be peace of mind, could be just easier...

And ya, if you have this many worries, insecurities, and lack of trust BEFORE you get married..... it's called RED FLAGS. Whether you are reading him right or not hardly matters, because who wants to live with your levels of anxiety? Make a run for it, and find a man you can trust.....


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