# Should I inform her work of AP's sex and drugs with my (stbx) bf?



## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Background: My bf cheated, several times, I think more but he is not coming clean. Therefore we are on the finishing line.

..A couple of weeks ago I emailed my bf's 'ex' AP, she is a teacher. Has to go through reception as I don't have personal address. Vague and pleasant at 1st. Just wanted her to call me so I could verify some facts. Didn't expect her to but hoped she might. Told her I would not pursue if I didn't hear from her. I meant it...at the time. Got cross she didn't reply. Nxt email...threaten to tell all to headteacher. No reply. Nxt email...Hear from u by Sat or nxt one to Head, with detail of sex and drugs. Then I get a call and text from police last Weds. I am sending the nxt email this Thurs... I will be writing a 'After all you did what do u expect, u cannot mess with someone else's man and expect no fallout, all I asked for was a 5 minute conversation, I know u snorted cocaine and took ecstacy on your sessions and yet u are a 'pillar of the community taking care of vulnerable young adults' etc. Police will get a copy I guess as they are involved, as will the Head. I will also inform it is my final email. 

Is this a bad idea? I don't do revenge, but I feel this is deserved. All I am doing is putting the facts out there. Is this empty and bitter? And pointless? Or deserved?


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Oh, btw, she knew he was with me right the way through. She was his ex. He informed her when he met me. When they were together she used him, treated him like sh*t, cheated on him, left him for another man, and still had him begging for more...little sh*t that he is. And yes, he has paid severely for it, and is now paying more. He has basically lost me, and he got a tattoo with my name on his arm, came back with it in Nov, now he needs to find another gf with the same name! So this is in no way misplaced anger. This is just a very late in coming dose of what she deserves. Hoping to get some 2nd opinions before I write the final email.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Stop sending stuff to her. She's a witch.

Get a fresh new email account and send it straight to the school head if you have proof.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Stop sending stuff to her. She's a witch.
> 
> Get a fresh new email account and send it straight to the school head if you have proof.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am sending it to her through school. I know where she works but not personal email. And so I sent those FAO of 'her name', so the ladies on reception have to forward it to her. All this will already be to attention of the school, hence police involvement. Next email is addressed to 'her name', and to 'headteacher'. Both copies exactly same, and sent to police too no doubt. I have done no revenge to her so far, found out 10 months ago about cheating, and yet I have knowledge of her place of work, access to photos of her in case I feel like making up some posters, know where her mum lives etc.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Why are the police involved?


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Thorburn said:


> Why are the police involved?


Because I threatened her I guess. If u can call it a threat. I said the next email would be to her headteacher if I didn't hear from her, detailing her liaisons and illegal activity with my man. Maybe it wasn't her that called them. Maybe all emails through reception get read before forwarded...and maybe/probably she denies knowing me or what I am on about. It could be construed as harrassment I guess...though the truth in an email, which will be the only/last one I send is not exactly harrassment is it. Is it?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Are you sure it was the police for real?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

You are lucky she has not called the police on you,because I would have and she has the emails that could be considered harassment and if you do not have hard evidence you are slandering her name so you had better watch yourself.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

what proof do you have?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You're trying to blackmail her into doing what you want. It's empty and bitter, as you worded it. You ARE looking for revenge, based on your wording.

Your boyfriend is the one that cheated on you. And he was your boyfriend, not your husband or even fiancé. So ditch him, and get on with your life. How is finding out any details going to make a difference?

If you have actual proof of what you're accusing her of, stop playing the drama games and send it to the police and the school, if your purpose is to protect the kids. And yes, sending emails to her employer very likely could be considered harrassment. 

Just my $0.02. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WhoHaveIBecome (Mar 9, 2012)

Let it go. If you go to her place of work its just going to make any harassment case against you easier. You said you are over with your boyfriend. If that is the case just let it go. He is no prize. If the OW wants him than let her have him. The most effective response is indifference. 

If you have no proof (i.e. pictures/videos) than the OW is just going to deny what you say and call you her crazy stalker and the school will believe her.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

The only proof I have is what my bf told me about their liaisons. I would word the email very carefully to cover my back. The proof of their affair is also from her, I went to see her last July, 2 months after finding out...to verify dates and number of occasions. She chatted to me about it...kind of. I took what she said with a handful of salt. 

I emailed her to ask one question about the date of their last liaison as I think it continued. I wasn't after revenge with the 1st email. Just an answer. He has always been the receiver of my anger, the source of my anger, not her, even though I hate her without knowing her. My anger at her came when she ignored my polite (and thoughtful considering it was through her work I had to email. It was worded very discreetly) request and I thought how dare she! After all she has done! One simple request and nothing! Bit*h! I never expected her to reply, hoped she would, she didn't and so I was very very cross.

And yes, of course it is revenge. I have known all this for 10months, I have had access to photos of her if I wished to use them, known where her mum lives, and never used any of it against her. Still wouldn't. But her job, her cosy life, her coleagues, she desecration to be embarrassed and ashamed. And to think twice before she screws with other women's men next time. She thrives on stuff like that, thinks she can have whoever she likes, thinks she has a pull over men, all her confidence is derived from being able to pull a man and screw him.


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