# The OW sent me a photo!



## MRB (Sep 4, 2010)

This wench had the absolute evilness to text me a photo of her with my husband's arm around her at 6 Flags. He took time off work to go have fun with this ***** and she is loving that she can hurt me with proof. My husband claims he didn't know she sent it but he's a liar already.

STBX & I discussed custody last night and came to an agreement but he refuses to pay CS or spousal support. Plus he wouldn't sign the agreement so nothing is set at all. So I guess we're going to court. His family is urging him to screw me out of everything. I can't believe this a-hole has destroyed my life, isn't even sorry enough to stop, and is going to fight me on helping me support the kids. He wants a lot of visitation but doesn't want to pay a dime.


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

I'm not sure if he has a leg to stand on.. If its his kids, then he is legally obligated to pay. Especially if he wants visitation..

Keep the evidence and if it has a timestamp on it the better. Keep yourself above board and let the courts explain to him what he needs to do..


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

It isn't your STBEX's decision as to whether or not he pays child support/alimony. That decision is up to the judge and it is highly unlikely that a judge would not order a spouse to pay support. Your STBEX is living in fantasy land.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

He's shown you who he is so believe it and get yourself a good attorney. Take him to court for child support and everything you are legally entitled to.

Reality has a rusty spiked bat awaiting him, you just need to pull the trigger.


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## MRB (Sep 4, 2010)

i'm waiting on a call back from my lawyer. i have an okay lawyer, not a great one as I cannot afford a great one. i hope his family doesn't pay for him to get an amazing lawyer and try to screw me.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I agree with the above poster.

Do not respond to her. Block her # if you need to. She is trying to get to you and if you respond, it works. IN these cases, silence is golden. Do not stoop to her level.

He denied it and their is photographic evidence? That tells you all you need to know about him.

I would cut ties with him except for on co-parenting issues and lawyer up. Start thinking practically.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

MRB said:


> i'm waiting on a call back from my lawyer. i have an okay lawyer, not a great one as I cannot afford a great one. i hope his family doesn't pay for him to get an amazing lawyer and try to screw me.


What will worrying about him, do for you? Other then place more weight on your shoulders. One thing is for sure, he will end up paying Child Support, you know this.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

I cant see where the law doesn't fall on your side. Each state has their own laws on alimony & child support - read up on them. Knowledge is power and no one can intimidate you if you know your stuff. No matter what the case is for spousal support he should have to pay child support no matter what.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

MRB said:


> He wants a lot of visitation but doesn't want to pay a dime.





geek down said:


> I'm not sure if he has a leg to stand on.. If its his kids, then he is legally obligated to pay. Especially if he wants visitation..





smallsteps said:


> No matter what the case is for spousal support he should have to pay child support no matter what.


Don't be so certain.

Allow me to play the Devil's Advocate for a moment here...

While the details vary form sate to state, in general, the question of child support is often far more complicated than, "they're his kids, he has to pay no matter what".

The judge will take into consideration visitation schedule... If he gets MORE time with the kids, he will likely pay LESS child support. The reason being that he's supporting (feeding, clothing, housing, transporting, etc...) the kids while they are with him, not you.

The judge will take into consideration your relative incomes. The smaller your income is compared to his, the more child support you're going to get. If they are equal, or yours is larger, you may get much less.

The judge will also consider other expenses and who's paying them... Who pays the kids' health and dental insurance? Who pays for medical expenses that aren't covered by insurance? Who pays for school fees and extracurricular activities? Who pays for school lunches and school supplies? Who pay for day care, if it's needed? And so on... If he's paying for many of these, it'll reduce his support obligation.

And also, judges like to preserve the status quo, to keep stability for the children... they are more likely to keep current financial arrangements, and adjust child support to even out any inequalities.

To present your hubby's side from another point of view, for example...

My wife makes practically the same income as I do. I am suggesting a 50/50 custody schedule, so that the kids have equal time with both of us... Legal and physical custody would both be joint. We'd each pay for groceries, etc, while the kids are with us. School, medical and extracurricular expenses would be split evenly. There is absolutely no reason for one of us to pay anything to the other.

But... My AXW wants more time with the kids than me, and she wants residential custody. I believe she wants them, because then she could make a (weak) case for getting child support from me. She is terrible with finances and budgets, you see, and seems to think that the extra money would solve her monetary problems.


Pb.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Pb you've made some really interesting points. I come from a state that even though they try not to use it as a reason for the divorce - abandonment & adultery are frowned on greatly & can be used while trying to mediate the situation. She definitely needs a good lawyer & she needs to know her state laws. Also - keep records of everything - phone calls - e mails - text messages & voice mails. Document everything!


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

MRB, find the best lawyer you can. A lot of attorneys do not charge a fee for consultations. You can request in the divorce complaint that your husband pay all attorneys' fees - doesn't mean the judge will grant it, but you can ask. You need a really good lawyer - one who specializes in family law/divorces. This is no time to be trying to save money - if you get a bad lawyer, it will cost you alot more than attorney's fees.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

Pbartender said:


> Don't be so certain.
> 
> Allow me to play the Devil's Advocate for a moment here...
> 
> ...


:iagree:

my Wife ex does not pay a freaking single dime at the moment. it's because my W makes a lot more and he has extra days during the week. Matter of fact even though my W is has legal and physical custody the calculations had her paying her ex $4 a week.....:scratchhead:

Judge said he is not implementing a $4 wk payment so guess she got off there. the key here is no longer is the money sent to the primary home, basically it follows the kid. wherever the kid goes the money is allocated there.


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