# I am married to a older woman



## Ado (Feb 17, 2015)

First of all I want to apologize for my English,it is not my mother language.
I was talking with a lot of doctors and friends but I can not find "my" peace.
Let me start from the begining.I am from Bosnia-EU,a little and verry poor country,survived war but unfortunately lost both of my parents and I was raised by my grandmother.She was all I have through my childhood and she helped me to finish and become a male Pediatric Nurse.That is what I really,really like.
I got my job around when I was 19.At age of 21 I was assigned to help this little girl (5) at her house,like giving terapy etc...
I was going there every day and I did meet her mother who was 35 at that time.We talked a lot,me-about my life and I did listen her story,just trying to be friendly.She was married verry young at 20 years old and their marriage was really lovley.
When she gave birth to little girl her husband started to change and he cheated on her.She was devastated and at the end they divorced.He moved in with his girlfriend and she was left alone with little child trying to feed both of them.She got her job at her father's firm as secretary and pay was good.We were getting a lot of conversations and I was having a good time,she was really good friend I guess.We did see each other during two months,almost every single day,nothing sexual or something like that,just talk and getting to know each other.
Let me tell you something about my dating history,I did have two "real" girlfriends during my life and I was still a virgin and I was naive or stupid,you could call me that.
One week before I finish my job,her little girl was doing ok,we were playing with each other,sometimes I would read a story to her or watch cartoons with her.I found a bone between us,but I knew this could happen,like I said I love little kids.
Also I found out I had "feelings" for her mother,but I decided It would be bad if I ask her to go out as my date.At the end she asked me to go out and we started dating.It was my "dream",I had never had noone like her.I cared about her and she cared about me.It was really good feeling when you have someone to trust,to talk,to open up.Also it was good when we go out and do things together or with her daughter-my little friend .She is so beautiful for her age and I am proud she is "mine" if I can say it like that .We did have sex and I was speechless,like I said before I was virgin.Her first was her husband but after they divorced she did sleep with 5 other man.She taught me a lot of things in bed,but I could say the same,I was reading some books .
So I will try to shorten this story,we were dating 10 months and decided to get married.My friends were ok with that,but my grandmother was against it,because "her history" with other man,but she loved little kid,almost like I did.
On the other hand her friends were ok with us,some of the girls said it was cute,etc..but her father was against it and he almost never speak to me.Her mother was "neutral" but was nice to me.
We were married for almost 5 years and everything was ok.I will be 27 in April and she will be 41 in August.Also we are trying to get "us" pregnant and we need to hurry up xD.In January 15th-20th I found out she got e-mails,texts from her co-worker and they were talking about sex,like what he would do to her and she to him.It was really hard for me to read this,it hurts and I did cried.Also it was more painful when she text him about things we never did like anal sex.
I did confronted her and she admited it but said it was only fun between them,nothing more,she will never cheat on me.
I could not belive her and we were living like two roommates.I was only nice to "our" daugther,she will be 11 years old soon.
I took some night shifts to do over Februar,and do some thinking.I checked her laptop and phone and everything is ok I guess,no more texts,e-mails between them but I can not find my peace.I did try to talk to her about this but she always change subjects and this is what is bothering me the most,she always says I am overreacting.We did not have sex since 22 Januar,I cant even look at her and not think about those text.

Sorry for grammar mistakes and sorry if I broke some rules of this forum,I am new and I did only read a few stories here on forum.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

From what you read, were they having sex with each other or were they only talking about it. I'm unclear on this. Are they still working together?


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## flyer (Jun 23, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> From what you read, were they having sex with each other or were they only talking about it. I'm unclear on this. Are they still working together?



Appears to me they were only talking about it.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

She needs to understand that you need to talk about it and she needs to open up. If she gets defensive and doesn't talk to you about everything then it can and will kill your marriage
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You need to look at couple's counselling, if that's available.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Your grandmother was right about the history of your wife. She is 41 and you are only 27 years of age. She has a reputation for having relationships with men. You have a 14 year gap in your age. She has not learned from her life's experiences as she is having an emotional affair or perhaps a physical affair.

At her age, one would think that she will have wisdom. She has not grown up. Move on, get a divorce, marry a woman who will love you, and start a family if you want. Respect yourself and be rid of this wild woman.


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