# Is she hypersexual?



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is tied in with my other thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/55379-fine-line-has-drawn.html

As you can see, this problem isn't going away, and it's like a cycle. I've tried to put up with it to keep her happy but in the end it's not really making her happy nor me (as seen in this thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/55035-performance-anxiety.html)

We need counselling, however, she refuses. Therefore I need to give her enough of a mirror image of herself to make her realise that it's a problem. She needs to see how this is affecting our marriage negatively, and that it has nothing to do with my desire for her or her attractiveness or her talents. It's just the frequency!

But first, I need to confirm ONCE AND FOR ALL, if she is TRULY hypersexual, and if this is a problem that needs to be fixed. Or if this is MY problem, and I need to get a testorome check. As for her insecurity, it has no change in her sex drive no matter if it's good times or bad times, she always wants it 3x a day to be satisfied daily. I have escaped with once or twice a day but the more passionate we become the more she wants to up the frequency.

Please, share your thoughts in this situation. I truly enjoy sex with my wife, but I am a human being in a worthless physical shell that simply can't keep up.


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## MrsKy (May 5, 2012)

I have an uncommonly high sex drive and even I think 3x daily is excessive. We only have sex more than once a day while on vacation. I would like to make love every day but my husband is satisfied with 4-5 times a week. The compromise works well for us.

Has your wife ever examined the reasons she needs that much sex?
I believe that she is hypersexual, but I am not a doctor. 

Would your wife be satisfied with oral sex in between encounters?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

She gives me the same BS each time I question her, she is convinced that she is completely normal regardless of her sex drive. No ifs, no buts, just plain denial.

We had compromises in place, once a day or every other day, but it always gradually builds up and once I start giving it to her more than once a day she raises her bar of expectations and gets annoying when I don't perform as well as making me feel less of a man (though indirectly). It's shockingly difficult to re-establish boundaries once we get some 'momentum', as she takes it as rejection.

Also, my wife is only satisfied after:
- Full service, oral, intercourse, and the O (Sometimes she won't let me go until she has multiple Os too)
- I ejaculate, she won't let me go unless I do (BIG problem when I'm not even in the mood and it's duty sex)
- After-sex cuddling/affection/talking

It takes from 15 minutes to 2 hours depending on her mood/level of desire/personal endurance to satisfy her - PER SESSION


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I wonder what an endocrine study and an MRI would uncover?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

^ What the hell are those? =O


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## MrsKy (May 5, 2012)

Endocrine studies refer to hormone levels and an MRI is a brain scan to show damage.

Has your wife experienced sexual abuse? Hypersexuality is a common response.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I've suspected childhood trauma like that and to this day I still suspect it. However, my wife is in complete denial about it. Personally I don't believe her... she comes from a rich family yet she spent two years of her life before she met me as a professional escort. 

Her confidence in herself seems to be tied in completely with her sexual ability, and when I reject her it seems to hurt her quite a bit. One can say that it's just her "love language" but from what I've seen, all evidence dictates that it's something more than that.

Not to mention what another poster said that... tied in with her rape fantasies (she fantasises about raping me with a strap-on), there's something deep that she simply won't let me know about. Or I could be wrong... I don't know, she's doing my head in!


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## MrsKy (May 5, 2012)

The fact that she spent time as an escort screams past sexual trauma. The vast majority of prostitutes have been sexually abused; where else would they get the idea that they are a commodity to be bought and sold?

I am hurt when my husband rejects me because I am not used to being turned down for sex by men. A few months ago, it was happening way too often so I had a serious talk with my husband and we are back in the swing of things again. I will not beg a man for sex.

Her rape fantasy is about power and domination. Does she mention feeling like she does not have enough say in the marriage?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Aye but whenever I bring up her past when discussing this issue she gets very, VERY defensive. It's hard to get a straight answer from her in this one, it's something I need a counsellor to do for me because I can't as her husband. As for say in the marriage, she has never mentioned anything about that, I give her a lot of freedom and I do ask for her counsel - she's actually quite smart.


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