# slapping



## newboy123 (Jun 1, 2014)

I havnt been the greatest boyfriend to my girl. I have lied alot in our 3-4 years together. The problem now is she wont believe me so for the first time in our relationship she has slapped me after a few rows. I mean she really lost it because she caught me out on another lie.

She was crying lots and slapped my face a few times hard. Is this physical abuse because we were dating for so long and this is the first time she has acted out.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

She should not have hit you no matter how much you probably deserved it. She should have left/threw you out and found someone else. 

Why are you staying with her if all you do is lie to her?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You have two choices, 1) get used to getting slapped, or 2) get out of this toxic relationship.

I'm betting you will get slapped again ..not even for lying...but for something else that pisses off your GF.


BTW, start telling the truth...that and get used to ducking.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Whether she should've slapped you or not, if you can't handle a few slaps from your girlfriend, then you should probably stop doing things that prompt her to slap you.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

newboy123 said:


> I havnt been the greatest boyfriend to my girl. I have lied alot in our 3-4 years together. The problem now is she wont believe me so for the first time in our relationship she has slapped me after a few rows. I mean she really lost it because she caught me out on another lie.
> 
> She was crying lots and slapped my face a few times hard. Is this physical abuse because we were dating for so long and this is the first time she has acted out.


I am not being mean, but why do you keep lying? Stop lying and then she won't slap you anymore.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Yes, it is physical abuse. 

And as if the case often, though not the rule, it is the toxicity of the relationship as a whole that invites abuse to begin.

So what will you do now.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

newboy123 said:


> I havnt been the greatest boyfriend to my girl. I have lied alot in our 3-4 years together. The problem now is she wont believe me so for the first time in our relationship she has slapped me after a few rows. I mean she really lost it because she caught me out on another lie.
> 
> She was crying lots and slapped my face a few times hard. Is this physical abuse because we were dating for so long and this is the first time she has acted out.


Is slapping someone unacceptable? Yes. 

Is lieing a lot unacceptable? Yes

Both of you need to address your issues before you're ready for a relationship. 

C


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

PBear said:


> Is slapping someone unacceptable? Yes.
> 
> Is lieing a lot unacceptable? Yes
> 
> ...


From his other thread...



newboy123 said:


> Hello I would like your opinion.
> 
> I have lied non stop for 3 years to my partner. I seen how this has upset her but I always ignored it. I always justified it by being helpful around the house
> 
> ...


Doh! Too late!!!


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

You should be a P.I. Gus!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

LOL He even lies to anonymous people on the internet.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

What I will never understand is why women have children, one can be choked up to a drunken mistake with a guy like OP? What the hell women!!! Don't slap...pack!


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

I like that! Another t-shirt! 

Liars suck.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

What do you want to do now? Do you want to have an honest loving relationship with your girl? Do you love her? How do you feel about what you are doing to your children? Are you willing to get IC to overcome your problem with being deceptive?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

newboy123 said:


> I will lie about where I have been and who with. I also lied when I split from my ex wife - was still in love with her after she cheated but I jumped straight into my current relationsiip because it helped me forget about my wife. I commited quickly to my new partner and told her I loved her - this was a lie.


Does your gf know that you lied and did not love her? Do you love her now?



newboy123 said:


> The lies have all been about women. I dont want my girl to know about the conversations I have with women I know and work with. I have never been unfaithful but my partner thinks different. She always thinks im hiding stuff from her and says she cannot trust me.


Why don’t you want your gf to know about the conversations you have with other women?

She is right, you are hiding things from her and she cannot trust you.

It seems that you are upset because she knows that you are a liar and cannot be trusted What do you expect her to do?


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

I would venture to guess that there are unresolved issues in each of your pasts that you need to work on apart BEFORE you can have a healthy relationship with each other. 

Right now you are like two porcupines trying to come together to hug, and all you end up doing is giving each other more and more splinters. 

I recommend IC for the both of you.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

GusPolinski said:


> then you should probably stop doing things that prompt her to slap you.


Gus i love you man, but I would say the same thing to my old lady back in the day. 

Its not cool to lay your hand on anyone unless you and/or your loved ones need protection.

If his chick thinks that she can get away with wacking her BF across the chops, she will continue to do so irregardless of the circumstance.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

the guy said:


> Gus i love you man, but I would say the same thing to my old lady back in the day.
> 
> Its not cool to lay your hand on anyone unless you and/or your loved ones need protection.
> 
> If his chick thinks that she can get away with wacking her BF across the chops, she will continue to do so irregardless of the circumstance.


First off, let's just be honest... there is a stark difference between (a) a man putting his hands on his wife or girlfriend and (b) a guy getting smacked in the kisser by his "old lady" for saying stupid sh*t, lying, or whatever. Period.

Is this a double standard? Maybe. I don't really care, though, and I'd wager that most folks feel the same way. So my advice to OP would be something like... 

"Suck it up, princess. If you don't like being slapped, _stop doing the things that *get you slapped*._"

Look, if she's wailing on him on a regular basis, then there's a problem. It doesn't sound that way to me, though. Read OP's other thread; that might give you a different perspective.

Either way, given OP's admittedly horrible behavior, I'm of the opinion that (a) he's here just to gain some sort of sympathy for getting slapped and (b) he's earned it (the slapping, not the sympathy).


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Liars need to be slapped... figuratively speaking. 

You will never be able to sustain a good relationship with anyone if you lie as much as you have indicated. Lying is a marker of a deeper problem with dishonesty that affects all aspects of your life. Failed relationships are just the beginning. Lost jobs, estranged children and friends, legal problems, self respect, etc. are just a sampling of the risks involved. 

Dishonesty is at the core of almost every human malady I can think of and none of us are exempt. Until you begin to overcome this core issue you will only be dealing with symptoms of the real problem. In the meantime your relationship with girlfriend does not stand a chance to succeed. Good luck.


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## cuchulain36 (Jul 8, 2014)

I don't think it's a big deal, a little slap from a woman just shows she cares. My wife early on slammed my hand in a drawer breaking two fingers and threw a steak knife at my head. Looking back THAT was abusive lol.


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## CoralReef (Jul 1, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Whether she should've slapped you or not, if you can't handle a few slaps from your girlfriend, then you should probably stop doing things that prompt her to slap you.


This is horrible advice. If the tables were turned and a woman was posting the exact same situation about constantly lying to her boyfriend and him resorting to slap her would you tell her that she shouldn't do things to prompt him to slap her?

As much as posters on this site say that there is never an excuse to cheat and cheating is always 100% the responsibility of the cheater despite problems in the relationship I am disappointed to see you, a respected poster, say that he shouldn't do things that result in him being slapped.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CoralReef said:


> This is horrible advice. If the tables were turned and a woman was posting the exact same situation about constantly lying to her boyfriend and him resorting to slap her would you tell her that she shouldn't do things to prompt him to slap her?


I think that folks on this site would tell her the same thing that this guy is being told. She was wrong to slap him. It's something that warrants him leaving her for.

And they would call her down for lying and cheating all the time. Both are wrongs.



CoralReef said:


> As much as posters on this site say that there is never an excuse to cheat and cheating is always 100% the responsibility of the cheater despite problems in the relationship I am disappointed to see you, a respected poster, say that he shouldn't do things that result in him being slapped.


The OP should not be lying and cheating. Nothing wrong with pointing that out.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

CoralReef said:


> This is horrible advice. If the tables were turned and a woman was posting the exact same situation about constantly lying to her boyfriend and him resorting to slap her would you tell her that she shouldn't do things to prompt him to slap her?


Yes and no. I would advise her to put a halt to her despicable behavior because... well, despicable behavior is despicable. But I'd also advise her not to tolerate abuse from her SO.

But again, let's be honest... we're talking apples and tangelos here.



CoralReef said:


> As much as posters on this site say that there is never an excuse to cheat and cheating is always 100% the responsibility of the cheater despite problems in the relationship I am disappointed to see you, a respected poster, say that he shouldn't do things that result in him being slapped.


I stand by my previous comments in both of OP's threads. He's lying to his girlfriend and the mother of his children. He's been cheating on his girlfriend and the mother of his children, even if he hasn't _physically_ done so... yet. Shouldn't he STOP doing these things? Or should he keep doing them simply _because_ she's slapped him a few times? :scratchhead:

Have you read both of his threads? To me his girlfriend comes off as pretty mousy and as being someone who -- until recently -- has been all too willing to put up w/ his sh*tty behavior. So maybe he should be asking himself... "If I've driven her to his, what's next? She's probably getting ready to leave me!" In fact...



newboy123 said:


> Hello I would like your opinion.
> 
> I have lied non stop for 3 years to my partner. I seen how this has upset her but I always ignored it. I always justified it by being helpful around the house
> 
> ...


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## CoralReef (Jul 1, 2014)

Yes Gus, he should certainly stop lying, cheating and being crappy. But that does not excuse her from slapping him.

I doubt a BS who was on here upset about a WS would be told "well stop doing things to make them stray...stop working late and start helping with the laundry."

People can always improve their behavior in a marriage. More often than not on this website when people are talking about the WS they comfort the BS by saying, you are both responsible for issues in your marriage but your WS is 100% responsible for cheating."

No similar advice was given to the OP. Just a recommendation to stop doing things that warrant getting slapped.


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## CoralReef (Jul 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I think that folks on this site would tell her the same thing that this guy is being told. She was wrong to slap him. It's something that warrants him leaving her for.
> 
> And they would call her down for lying and cheating all the time. Both are wrongs.
> 
> ...


No, EleGirl, he should not be lying and cheating. My point is that when a BS comes on this site heartbroken about being cheated on people don't jump on the BS and immediately say "Stop x, y and z and it won't warrant you getting cheated on"

At some point the BS does get advice on this forum to improve themselves and their marriage but it is never phrased as "Stop working late (or whatever) and you won't get cheated on" which was the basic premise of Gus's post only directed towards physical abuse.

I'm willing to bet that if OP came clean and stopped lying and cheating his girlfriend would still a reason to be mad and violent. In fact, if they split and she finds a "wonderful" new man who never lies or cheats her aggressive tendencies are bound her to follow her into that relationship as well.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

CoralReef said:


> Yes Gus, he should certainly stop lying, cheating and being crappy. But that does not excuse her from slapping him.
> 
> *I doubt a BS who was on here upset about a WS would be told "well stop doing things to make them stray...stop working late and start helping with the laundry."*
> 
> ...


Not a fair or even logical comparison, IMO.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

CoralReef said:


> No similar advice was given to the OP. Just a recommendation to stop doing things that warrant getting slapped.


OK, sooo... _how is that *bad* advice_?

Again, we're not talking about persistent abuse here. And yes, my stance on this has a lot to do w/ the fact that I view a slap given by a woman to a man VERY DIFFERENTLY than I view a slap given by a man to a woman.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

CoralReef said:


> No, EleGirl, he should not be lying and cheating. My point is that when a BS comes on this site heartbroken about being cheated on people don't jump on the BS and immediately say "Stop x, y and z and it won't warrant you getting cheated on"
> 
> At some point the BS does get advice on this forum to improve themselves and their marriage but it is never phrased as "Stop working late (or whatever) and you won't get cheated on" which was the basic premise of Gus's post only directed towards physical abuse.
> 
> *I'm willing to bet that if OP came clean and stopped lying and cheating his girlfriend would still a reason to be mad and violent. In fact, if they split and she finds a "wonderful" new man who never lies or cheats her aggressive tendencies are bound her to follow her into that relationship as well.*


I don't get that impression at all.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

CoralReef said:


> No, EleGirl, he should not be lying and cheating. My point is that when a BS comes on this site heartbroken about being cheated on people don't jump on the BS and immediately say "Stop x, y and z and it won't warrant you getting cheated on"
> 
> At some point the BS does get advice on this forum to improve themselves and their marriage but it is never phrased as "Stop working late (or whatever) and you won't get cheated on" which was the basic premise of Gus's post only directed towards physical abuse.
> 
> I'm willing to bet that if OP came clean and stopped lying and cheating his girlfriend would still a reason to be mad and violent. In fact, if they split and she finds a "wonderful" new man who never lies or cheats her aggressive tendencies are bound her to follow her into that relationship as well.


Yes well that may be true but that's not the issue here.

The OP stated up front, that he lies constantly. We can take that to understand that he knows his constantly lying has pushed his GF's back against the wall. Yes it's extrapolated but not a stretch.

What do people do when they feel cornered?

This is NOT to suggest that she had any right to slap him, because we all agree that she did not.

But it is probably safe to assume that had OP not been a pathological liar and cornered his GF, figuratively speaking, she would not take the logical step most people take when they have been cornered.

You're comparing apples to oranges. And I like Gus, he's funny and in my boom that counts.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

over20 said:


> You should be a P.I. Gus!


Pssh. I'm waaaaay too conspicuous. But thanks!


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## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

I've slapped two exes in my life, and it was directly related to what they had done to me. I do not consider myself to be an abusive individual because of the slapping since I haven't slapped anyone since 10th grade (AND I THINK MY HUSBAND DESERVES A GOOD SLAPPING.)

She slapped you for one reason...a message to stop lying to her. It wasn't to inflict pain on you. It was to demonstrate how hurt she was and how much she needs the behavior to stop.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> You're comparing apples to oranges. And I like Gus, he's funny and in my boom that counts.


Well... apples and tangelos, but OK... sure. I'll take that. 

And thanks! :smthumbup:


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

op, what the hell are you lying for? quit lying and own up to ****. 
quit being a scared little boy. grow up. 

and dont put up with physical abuse. draw a boundary and stick to it, lay down a consequence, communicate that consequence, and follow through. 

and for Gods sake, stop lying about crap. be a man and be honest.


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## familygirl (Dec 13, 2013)

The abused has put up with the abusers **** so long she has turned into the abuser. I think by now the girl should find the strength, and based on what she knows get out before it gets worse.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

staarz21 said:


> She should not have hit you no matter how much you probably deserved it. She should have left/threw you out and found someone else.
> 
> Why are you staying with her if all you do is lie to her?


Agreed 👏
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

But u definitely deserve the slap 

I wld slap u too
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> First off, let's just be honest... there is a stark difference between (a) a man putting his hands on his wife or girlfriend and (b) a guy getting smacked in the kisser by his "old lady" for saying stupid sh*t, lying, or whatever. Period.
> 
> Is this a double standard? Maybe. I don't really care, though, and I'd wager that most folks feel the same way. So my advice to OP would be something like...
> 
> "Suck it up, princess. If you don't like being slapped, _stop doing the things that *get you slapped*._"


I _wish_ a woman would think it was alright to lay her hands on me. 

She would quickly discover that this is a double standard that I will not play by. I have never hit a woman in my life, outside of a playful situation. But that could easily change if I felt seriously attacked. If a woman thinks she is justified in putting her hands on me because of a "suck it up, princess/don't do anything to deserve one" mentality, she'd quickly find herself out of a relationship and possibly nursing a fat lip.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

Slapping is physical abuse.
Lies and deceit in a relationship are emotional abuse.
So, call it even.
You both have to grow up. You are not ready for something serious.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

jaquen said:


> I _wish_ a woman would think it was alright to lay her hands on me.
> 
> She would quickly discover that this is a double standard that I will not play by. I have never hit a woman in my life, outside of a playful situation. But that could easily change if I felt seriously attacked. If a woman thinks she is justified in putting her hands on me because of a "suck it up, princess/don't do anything to deserve one" mentality, *she'd quickly find herself out of a relationship *and possibly nursing a fat lip.


And it would be for the best.


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## CoralReef (Jul 1, 2014)

Plural ignorance is still ignorance. Being agreed with doesn't make someone right and not being agreed with doesn't make someone wrong.

Cheating is never acceptable in a relationship.

Violence is never acceptable in a relationship.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

jaquen said:


> I _wish_ a woman would think it was alright to lay her hands on me.
> 
> She would quickly discover that this is a double standard that I will not play by. I have never hit a woman in my life, outside of a playful situation. But that could easily change if I felt seriously attacked. If a woman thinks she is justified in putting her hands on me because of a "suck it up, princess/don't do anything to deserve one" mentality, she'd quickly find herself out of a relationship and possibly nursing a fat lip.


Just so you know, many cops and judges buy into the "double standard".


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

CoralReef said:


> Plural ignorance is still ignorance. Being agreed with doesn't make someone right and not being agreed with doesn't make someone wrong.


True enough. Either way, I stand by my comments. Men tend to hit their wives or girlfriends because they're abusive assh*les. Women tend to hit their husbands or boyfriends because they've been pushed to a breaking point.

Again, if she's constantly hitting him, then yeah, there's a problem. I'm not reading that in any of his posts, though.



CoralReef said:


> Cheating is never acceptable in a relationship.


Agreed.



CoralReef said:


> Violence is never acceptable in a relationship.


Agreed. In this case (and cases similar to it), however, motivation should be taken into account.

Look, OP can do whatever he wants here, and he can feel however he wants to feel about his girlfriend slapping him. But if he thinks that he's deserving of some sort of sympathy for earning a couple of smacks to his chops for being a lying, cheating d**chebag, then he needs to grow the f*ck up.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Motivation for cheating should also be taken into account, Gus.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

jld said:


> Motivation for cheating should also be taken into account, Gus.


That's true to a degree, but only if (a) reconciliation is the goal and/or (b) if the BS feels that his or her own behavior could have possibly created a marital environment in which his or her spouse could stray.

Deep down, we all understand this, and it's one of the biggest reasons that BS's ask tons and tons of questions in the days and weeks (and even months and years) following D-Day.

If you're looking to fix something (whether it be your marriage, yourself, a computer, or the plumbing underneath the kitchen sink), it's not enough to know that it's broken... you have to know HOW it's broken.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> That's true to a degree, but only if (a) reconciliation is the goal and/or (b) if the BS feels that his or her own behavior could have possibly created a marital environment in which his or her spouse could stray.
> 
> Deep down, we all understand this, and it's one of the biggest reasons that BS's ask tons and tons of questions in the days and weeks (and even months and years) following D-Day.
> 
> If you're looking to fix something (whether it be your marriage, yourself, a computer, or the plumbing underneath the kitchen sink), it's not enough to know that it's broken... you have to know HOW it's broken.


I think it is helpful even if you do not want to reconcile.

Understanding is part of true healing. Forgiving helps you move on, peacefully.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

jld said:


> I think it is helpful even if you do not want to reconcile.
> 
> Understanding is part of true healing. Forgiving helps you move on, peacefully.


Well, like I said, even if a BS (or even a WS) isn't looking to reconcile, some self-reflection isn't a bad thing.

Learn from it. Grow from it. That's what life is, and when you stop doing that, it's because you're dead... or you might as well be.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Just so you know, many cops and judges buy into the "double standard".


And I'd take my chances. Happily. 

Any woman who truly knows me must be out of her mind if she ever thought stooping to physical assault was going to work out for her or somehow convey a message that I should just stop X behavior so wouldn't "have" to slap me.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Yeah, slapping is not good. A pot of hot coffee in his lap is better.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Yeah, slapping is not good. A pot of hot coffee in his lap is better.




For shame, Blondilocks.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I'm sorry, but I consider any form of physical attack in a relationship to be utterly unacceptable. :redcard:

While men are more often the abusers, it is not all that unusual for women to physically abuse their partners - and very difficult for those men to get help. (they feel they "can't hit a woman" so they can't fight back, but are to embarassed to get help").

I know a guy who is being physically abused by his wife. He is much bigger and stronger, so everyone else thinks is is sort of a joke, but she hits him whenever she gets angry. He won't leave because they have a kid. 

I don't care what motivated that assault. If it was bad enough then that person should leave or call the police - but physical violence except in self defense is completely absolutely wrong.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Maybe the gf was defending her sanity. This guy has emotionally tortured her for 3 years. Surely, he can overlook a couple of slaps to the face when he's been crapping on her their entire relationship. But, no, he has to whine about it. 

And, no, admitting he is a louse is not a get out of jail free card. Because he does not stop his behavior.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Double standard is alive and well in this thread. The OPs girlfriend has options other than hitting. Staying with a guy for 3 years who seems to be a no good liar says a lot about her also. She can leave at anytime. No marriage, presumably no kids, why put up with it? Slapping him going to make him a better boyfriend?Leave and find a good man.
OP grow up. Take sometime and be single and figure is this the man you want to be.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Maybe the gf was defending her sanity. This guy has emotionally tortured her for 3 years. Surely, he can overlook a couple of slaps to the face when he's been crapping on her their entire relationship. But, no, he has to whine about it.
> 
> And, no, admitting he is a louse is not a get out of jail free card. Because he does not stop his behavior.


No, he shouldn't overlook any physical violence from his GF. He is not a decent man and his GF is not a decent woman. They are brining each other down and they should not be together unless they can both grow up.

This is what happens when cousins marry.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

richie33 said:


> Double standard is alive and well in this thread. The OPs girlfriend has options other than hitting. Staying with a guy for 3 years who seems to be a no good liar says a lot about her also. She can leave at anytime. No marriage, presumably no kids, why put up with it? Slapping him going to make him a better boyfriend?Leave and find a good man.
> OP grow up. Take sometime and be single and figure is this the man you want to be.


I don't see a double standard. No one has said it's ok for her to hit him. Everyone has told him to leave her. It's a toxic situation that has fallen to the point of physical abuse.

She is not here or us to call her out on her behavior. She's not here to tell her that she has had the option to end this all along. since she did not, she's not really a victim. she's a participant.

He did admit to a LOT of lying and cheating. So of course people called him out for that.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Page 1 and 2 and even on this page," don't slap him pour hot coffee on him".

"Whether she should've slapped you or not, if you can't handle a few slaps from your girlfriend, then you should probably stop doing things that prompt her to slap you"

*





I don't think it's a big deal, a little slap from a woman just shows she cares. My wife early on slammed my hand in a drawer breaking two fingers and threw a steak knife at my head. Looking back THAT was abusive.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> I don't see a double standard. No one has said it's ok for her to hit him. Everyone has told him to leave her. It's a toxic situation that has fallen to the point of physical abuse.
> 
> She is not here or us to call her out on her behavior. She's not here to tell her that she has had the option to end this all along. since she did not, she's not really a victim. she's a participant.
> 
> He did admit to a LOT of lying and cheating. So of course people called him out for that.


Any woman who hits me will be responded to with me physically restraining them for their childish behavior.Also there certainly is a double standard when it comes with women hitting men,but its to be expected since women are the weaker sex.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Quant said:


> Any woman who hits me will be responded to with me physically restraining them for their childish behavior.Also there certainly is a double standard when it comes with women hitting men,but its to be expected since women are the weaker sex.


IF she slaps you, all you need do is walk away. Call the police if you want to press charges. Anyone, man or woman, can walk away from a slap. 

If you (or any man, or any woman) responds to a slap by physically retaining the other person, then they are simply escalating the violence.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good morning all
I'm afraid I do see a double standard here. If a man hits a woman, most people will be outraged - as they should. The same applies if a woman hits a man. 

I also saw the "pour hot coffee on his lap" comments. Translate to suggesting that a man who's wife lies to him should do something injure her genitals.....

The argument that he is stronger isn't valid. First of all it may not be true - there are lots of women who could beat me to a pulp. Also many women in abusive relationships don't leave or fight back, even if the could - acceptance of abuse is very common.

This isn't a men vs. women issue - violence in relationships is simply bad.


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## cuchulain36 (Jul 8, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> IF she slaps you, all you need do is walk away. Call the police if you want to press charges. Anyone, man or woman, can walk away from a slap.
> 
> 
> 
> If you (or any man, or any woman) responds to a slap by physically retaining the other person, then they are simply escalating the violence.



That's silly, if someone is physically assaulted they have every right to respond and defend themselves, no one needs to be a punching bag.

If a woman slapped me I would probably walk away but one never knows how they will respond when physically assaulted by someone. If one slap lead to another I would certainly physically restrain her.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

This time, let it pass, besides, I'm sure you deserved it.



Just set a boundary and tell her this is not acceptable and do not do it again.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

If a man doesn't want to be slapped or punched, best bet is to not slap or punch someone.

If a woman doesn't want to be slapped or punched, best best is to not slap or punch someone. 

It's that simple. If you are an emotionally volatile, unstable mess who can't express your disdain without resulting to physical assault than you've forfeited the right to expect the person on the receiving end of your assault to play nice.

If a person slaps me I'm likely to tell them "If you dare do that again I'm going to knock you out". That's called a courtesy though. Because I, or anyone, would be fully justified in defending themselves in like kind once an assault has began. Don't want to tempt that? Then keep your hands to yourself from the get go.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Cousins or not, they have kids together. Can only imagine the lies and thus torments he visits on the kids.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

cuchulain36 said:


> That's silly, if someone is physically assaulted they have every right to respond and defend themselves, no one needs to be a punching bag.
> 
> If a woman slapped me I would probably walk away but one never knows how they will respond when physically assaulted by someone. If one slap lead to another I would certainly physically restrain her.


I can get behind this. In theory.

As a matter of practical reality and as a man, you'd have to be out of your frickin' mind to hit a woman back, or even lay your hands on her, unless you were in danger of death or very serious injury. Your best bet by far is to retreat and fast, any "rights" you have notwithstanding.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

Slapping is only okay if its on my wife's bottom.

But more seriously you need to make it clear you will not tolerate her getting physical with you and if you can't handle a LTR then just leave her.It will save a bunch of drama.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> Cousins or not, they have kids together. Can only imagine the lies and thus torments he visits on the kids.


Where does he state they have kids together?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

richie33 said:


> Where does he state they have kids together?


If it's not in this thread then it's in his other thread.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

richie33 said:


> Where does he state they have kids together?


See page 1, post #8 on this thread.


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