# Sexual life with my wife destroyed me



## ice_flow_love (Apr 8, 2014)

I've been in love with my wife for about 2 years before we got married, but for the last month stuff got out of hand, she's refusing to have sex with me, I did everything I could from sexual fantasies, toys, erotic condoms, you know these things...

I really love her and want her so bad, but this issue really starting to affect my sexual life, I don't know what happened to me, I started to develop some weird interests in bi-sexual stuff, I even started to enjoy looking at penises, I dreamed about having a gangbang with a lot of guys and I was in the middle getting done.

I'm not gay! I still enjoy watching the usual porn and getting aroused on hot women... I'm losing my mind, I can't control my life anymore

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

What reason does your wife give for refusing to have sex with you? This has been going on for a month. What was your sex life before that? Anything happen/change a month ago that might have caused her to be turned off?


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## ice_flow_love (Apr 8, 2014)

Rowan said:


> What reason does your wife give for refusing to have sex with you? This has been going on for a month. What was your sex life before that? Anything happen/change a month ago that might have caused her to be turned off?


It was just fine, we used do it frequently, almost every day or 2 days -except her time of the month- it all started with "I feel tired let's do it tomorrow when you come home from work", and everyday is a different excuse.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Bisexual maybe, because if you enjoy looking at penises, and you fantasies getting banged in the middle by array of men, then maybe you have bisexual tendencies???.

Is this why your wife stopped wanting to have sex with you??.

Not being funny, but if my hubby told me he enjoyed looking at penises, and being involved in a gang-bang with lot geezers, then i would worry that maybe he was a little gay??.


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## ice_flow_love (Apr 8, 2014)

melw74 said:


> Bisexual maybe, because if you enjoy looking at penises, and you fantasies getting banged in the middle by array of men, then maybe you have bisexual tendencies???.
> 
> Is this why your wife stopped wanting to have sex with you??.
> 
> Not being funny, but if my hubby told me he enjoyed looking at penises, and being involved in a gang-bang with lot geezers, then i would worry that maybe he was a little gay??.


Bi-sexual? it would make sense if I can't find my sexual orientation in a younger age, but we dated for 2 years and been married for almost a year!

I didn't enjoy none of this stuff before, matter of fact and I'm sorry if I'm going to offend anybody with this but I used to keep a safe distance away from gay people because I felt disgusted thinking about 2 males having sex...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I'm not sure how your wife not wanting to have sex with you has anything at all to do with your gay fantasies? Is that what you are asserting? Because she won't have sex with you it's making you think of sex with other men?

Have you told her of these fantasies?

Should you be in school right now? History class getting boring?


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

ice_flow_love said:


> Bi-sexual? it would make sense if I can't find my sexual orientation in a younger age, but we dated for 2 years and been married for almost a year!
> 
> I didn't enjoy none of this stuff before, matter of fact and I'm sorry if I'm going to offend anybody with this but I used to keep a safe distance away from gay people because I felt disgusted thinking about 2 males having sex...


Honestly, I know many people that have been with many woman, before they realised they were gay....... In fact this was the case with a very good family friend that came out years and years later and told people he was in fact gay.

From what you have said, by your fantasies, and the wanting sex with a group of men, this was the only conclusion for me, does not matter what you enjoyed before, its the here and the now.

Maybe you being disgusted with the thought of gay people was your way of convincing yourself you were heterosexual???...... Maybe it was your way of dealing with it.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Basic question is 'does your wife know about your bisexual fantasies?
If not, then this has nothing to do with your wife turning you down unless she is somehow reading something into your behavior that is queing her to your fantasies.

You've got to get to the bottom of this. You've got to get her to talk. don't be an @sshat, but you need to get her to talk.

Then, the next time you have sex with her, if your still really turned on, then at least you know that your straight or bisexual and you can work on the sex thing with your wife.


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## DEVIL_MAY5 (Aug 1, 2012)

*Good morning/evening to you.

Please you have to try to think about your marriage, I mean what if your wife found out that you have sexual fantasies with others, not to mention it's with men.

I don't know if I'm helping or not, but I had a close friend who was a bi before he got married and I personally tried to convince him not to get married but he didn't listen.
One day his wife came home to find out that he's having sex with 2 men on their bed and their marriage instantly fell apart, the sad thing was that he truly loved her and went depressed for over 6 months then his mental status cracked and started going to gay bars and have sex with strangers DAILY, lost his job, his home and his life.

You said that you do love her and it was a 2 years relationship before marriage, I can't see a happy ending if you continue like this.

I'm married for a year now and for the last 2 weeks I didn't have sex, matter of fact I had it just yesterday because she was just going into some phase of missing her family and friends -since I work overseas- and that was about it.

Conversation is a strong element, try to use it.

I'm sorry for the long post, but every time I see something like this I can't but to remember a close friend of mine who destroyed his life*


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Yes, being BI is not necessarily a deal breaker in marriage, because you ARE attracted to the opposite sex. But you need to deal with these fantasies. They are coming from somewhere. You need to figure out where that 'somewhere' is. That's part one.

Part two is figuring out what's bugging your wife. Refusing you sex is not good. Does she refuse indirectly, like "Honey, I'm too tired", or does she flat out say "No, I'm not having sex with you?"

there's a big difference. in approach


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