# Husband wardrobe issue



## SonnyRae (Feb 23, 2014)

I've been with my DH (dear husband) for nearly 18 years. He's a very nice looking man, but I have one huge issue with his appearance, he is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing the first day I met him......A Black Harley Davidson T-shirt, uniform style Wrangler boot leg jeans, and Ranch boots. I dearly love the man, I've talked to him about updating his wardrobe, bought him different articles of clothing to try, only to return them. Shopping with him ended with me nearly walking out of the store, I felt like I was shopping with my 6 year old Grandson. :-(
I've been embarrassed by his attire on numerous occasions, especially when we have attended social occasions where he was noticeably under dressed, but he seemed to not care.
This summer coming he will be 60 years old. I take pride when I dress to go out with him, I've over the years adjusted my style to be more age appropriate when my children were growing up, now we are grandparents, I don't want him to dress like some old guy, but I would so much enjoy seeing my husband dressed nicely, especially when we attend grand-children's school functions. I'm embarrassed sometimes. I've spoken to him about this at least 100 times, it's like he doesn't hear me or get my point.
I'm totally out of ideas how to deal with this clothing issue with my DH. I'm at my wits end and about to just simply give up.
Any ideas???
Thanking everyone in advance <3


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

You are SOL...man is 60...set in his ways...leave him be


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

You will have to make more of a stand for yourself, it sounds like.

He is likely resistant to what you are saying because you've probably framed it like you are giving him directions or you are his mom. You probably think you were tactful about it and you probably were, but to him it likely sounded like you were bossing him, which he will resist.

Instead, you will have to frame it as a respectful request, but one which if he does not agree to it, you will need to hear from him exactly why he will not.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I can only think of one thing to do that may get him to change. Dress like a biker chick, but push the limits of taste as far as you can stand. Especially do this when he may care how you present yourself to people who matter to him.

If he says anything (and the risk is he won't!), tell him "If you can't change them, join them."


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

You may also try telling him that he would be much more attractive to you if he dressed up more often. Or, rather, that his rebellious teen costume makes you not want to have sex with him - but that slacks and a button-down shirt get you all hot and bothered. Of course, you'll have to get all hot and bothered if he does dress up.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I am hoping that your problem isn't that he's been wearing the same clothes for that long and never wears any others.

Does he ever tell you what to wear?

This is a battle I wouldn't fight, myself. If my husband wants to look like an 80's biker/cowboy/teenager dude in perpetuity, then more power to him. I'm not gonna be embarrassed by it - why should I? He's a grown man and makes all his own decisions about his attire. I might say something once in a blue moon, if he ever asked or something, but other than that? Nope.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Do you love your husband or his clothes?

I have clothes that I'm comfortable in. It's what I wear. I'm me. I know who I am and the people that truly matter to me know who I am. Beyond that I don't really care what others think of me. If I decide I want loud purple hair, I've done just that, then what do I care about other people's opinions of me base don my appearance. My wife loves me for me and because of that she is supportive when I 'fashionably experiment'. She actually went green and my D17 went bright blue at the same time. We were a sight. But why care about others? They aren't paying my bills. They aren't feeding me. And they certainly aren't f... well... sexually pleasuring me. lol 

Try this instead. Get some clothes that are similar. Wear them. Go out together like that. Getting into his groove may help get him into yours.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

No offense, but if you didn't want to be married to a man who wears HD tshirts and jeans, you shouldn't have married one. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Add me to the he gets to choose what he wears camp. Battle not worth fighting.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

I think that you are the one with the issue. That is who he is. It sounds like he is not trendy and is who he is is not ok with you. I like it that he does not feel the need to change with everynew trend or fad. I dress like I did 30 years ago also. He does not feel the need to change his fashion every year. That is who he is. You are the one that needs to deal with it. It is not a problem. 

If he needs to dress nicer occasionally, that needs to be addressed. But he does not need to change his style just because you think he needs to be trendy.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I see both side of the problem.

and I think its reasonable to comunicate to him that dressing alittle nicer would make you feel happy and that you would like to see him jazzed up sometimes.

you might want to try the when you dress nicer it make me feel like banging you more often approach. because you look so distingushed and sex dresser up a bit.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Must be a man thing . I have to say my hubby loves being comfy, so its a Pair of trousers and T shirt for him, and yes he loves to wear the same kind of clothes, Cant say its really bothered me, never really thought about it to be honest.

I would not feel the need to tell him what to wear, but i never really dress up either only on special occasions, all the other times its leggings and plain old t shirt for me.

He is what he is, he dresses how he wants... I have enough problems dressing my kiddies. .

I could never be embarrassed by him, I love him just the way he is... that is why i married him.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

SonnyRae said:


> I've been embarrassed by his attire on numerous occasions, especially when we have attended social occasions where he was noticeably under dressed, but he seemed to not care.





SonnyRae said:


> I'm embarrassed sometimes. I've spoken to him about this at least 100 times, it's like he doesn't hear me or get my point.


It's not that he doesn't hear you or get your point. It's what you said first, he doesn't care. He likes what he is wearing. He is happy that way. You are trying to change his style. He does not want to change is style. Accept him as he is. This is not harming you. It's a fashion opinion.
At this point, it could become a problem because you have been nagging him. Telling someone the same thing over and over, when it is a matter of opinion rather than something harmful, is nagging. Leave it alone and don't let it bother you anymore.



SonnyRae said:


> I'm totally out of ideas how to deal with this clothing issue with my DH. I'm at my wits end and about to just simply give up.
> Any ideas???
> Thanking everyone in advance <3


What you seem to be asking is how to get your husband to change his mind on his style preference. It is likely that your husband was wearing this outfit long before you met him and has no intention whatsoever of changing it now. Let it be and focus on how handsome he is and all the things you love about him.


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## SonnyRae (Feb 23, 2014)

Yes, he tells me what to wear and how much make up and doesn't like lipstick etc. 
When we go to dinner with other couples, I'd simple like to see him look nice, he is a handsome man.
We're going to Hawaii for a vacation, I thought I'd ask for advice. 
I dress to look nice for my husband, I thought perhaps it would be nice for him to occasionally do the same.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

SonnyRae said:


> Yes, he tells me what to wear and how much make up and doesn't like lipstick etc.
> When we go to dinner with other couples, I'd simple like to see him look nice, he is a handsome man.
> We're going to Hawaii for a vacation, I thought I'd ask for advice.
> I dress to look nice for my husband, I thought perhaps it would be nice for him to occasionally do the same.


Well, if he can tell you what to wear you should be able to tell him as well.

What if you start by buying him a couple of nicely cut T-shirts and compliment him on his physique in them? Then try to get him to throw a sport jacket over it. That would be a start. 

My H, left to his own designs, would probably wear a garbage bag if it were comfortable. Luckily, he HAS to dress nicely for work and I buy his clothes because he doesn't like to shop.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

So you married a 100% NON-style conscious man, who's going to be 60 and set in his ways and as you say 



SonnyRae said:


> I've spoken to him about this at least 100 times, it's like he doesn't hear me or get my point.


What do you expect? 

Let me ask you, how much luck have you had with changing men when they have zero interest in it?

Ideally, your husband would listen to your concerns and wants and adjust.

But also ideally, you would recognize it's very important TO HIM that he be who he is (In his mind). He may take it as insulting but never say anything to you like you don't think he's "good enough".

So I think this is more of a "pick your battles". One benefit of being older is bad behavior is more accepted LOL.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

SonnyRae said:


> Yes, he tells me what to wear and how much make up and doesn't like lipstick etc.
> When we go to dinner with other couples, I'd simple like to see him look nice, he is a handsome man.
> We're going to Hawaii for a vacation, I thought I'd ask for advice.
> I dress to look nice for my husband, I thought perhaps it would be nice for him to occasionally do the same.


And this is where you can have an impact.

Dress is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what he likes. And state to him, that he's resistant to your requests of him, why should you pander to his requests. 

The key to this whole thing is not make it confrontational or bossy etc. Just very matter of fact. Put on some bright lipstick and if he says "I don't like it". you can say "Really, I really like how it looks with this outfit" and move on. DO NOT take it off.

After a little while, if he starts a conversation about it you can approach the topic again. How you like dressing in a way that he likes, but you'd like that same treatment. And always finish with "do you think that's fair?" You can even compromise and say that you won't ask often, but on very specific occasions, you'd love to see him dressed up.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I can see both sides of the issue. I don't think your desires are strange. Some say it's who he is, leave him alone, and there is truth to that. I think sometimes. however, people can get in a rut and would like a change if they would just take the time to do it.

I new a couple a few years back where the guy had a long beard and hair, like the Duck Dynasty guys. His wife complained about it for years and he finally shaved and got a short haircut, and he loved it; he even looked a little like George Clooney. He would say himself how wished he had shaved years ago and that he loved his new look. He even started to enjoy nice clothes.

I'm not saying this would be your husbands reaction, but I think people do get in a rut sometimes, and they enjoy the change once they make it. I would assume Fonzie finally ditched the leather jacket, white t-shirt, and slicked=back hair by age 60. 

One thing that wasn't mentioned, "what kind of lifestyle do you guys lead?" In other words, does his look fit who he is? Is he a biker, country club member, banker, mechanic?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

This doesn't need to be all doom and gloom. Is it that he just doesn't care or that he really likes they way he dresses. If he likes it let it be. You wouldn't want to be told how to dress. 

However if he just doesn't care just start buying him stuff and asking m to wear it. I'm guilty of this as well and my issue is I HATE shopping and won't try things on. 

Once divorced my wardrobe, according to my Gf and female friends, was terrible. Something about "dad jeans" and so on. So their solution was they just started buying me stuff on occasion and saying hey try this. Some I didn't like, some I loved. I would say 3 years out most my clothes are new so this worked for me.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

My husband's daily attire is BDUs or similar pants and a t-shirt, usually black or with some witty thing written on it. The day we got married he wore a t-shirt and a button down shirt. However, he never bothered to button the shirt and his t had a stain on it. Did I notice? Hell yes! Did I care? Not really. He is who he is and it was just a little court house wedding where we had to ask another couple we didn't even know to be our witnesses. We just didn't want family there even though both of our families live in town.

Now, my brother's wedding was totally different. It was a BIG affair. So I went out and bought my husband slacks and a beautiful shirt to match my dress. I simply laid them out for him and he put them on. End of story, never questioned it.

Maybe you should try that. Not on a day to day, because you aren't after all, trying to change him. Just on those truly special occasions, lay out an outfit for him and see if he goes for it. If he doesn't, so what. You have no reason to be embarrassed by how your husband dresses. Anybody could look at him and see that he's a grown man. Thus, he makes his own wardrobe decisions and if there is any embarrassment to be had, it's his to own. (and he obviously doesn't care!) Good for him by the way!


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Thanks for this thread. I have started working on my wardrobe only recently. But its a good time to understand how over time it can cause resentment to keep piling on.

That too for something that I can fix easily.


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## Tasty (Mar 3, 2014)

While I understand you, it appears he feels more comfortable with those clothes you complain about. 

I suppose you won't like him to dress to impress you and the crowd but feel uncomfortable through the events.

To make things easier for both of you, buy him more of those T-shirts, jeans and ranch boots in different varieties and colors. And, please, help to keep them clean.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

You guys are kidding right? At 60 years old that is just tacky.

I would be mortified if my parents came to my childs functions looking like grandpa biker.


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