# Finding new satisfying sexual experiences with your wife...a journey



## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

I am still puzzled by how hard is to read woman...and how inadecuate I feel when trying new things....my wife is a sweet heart!....she is the love of my life....this new time in our lifes where we are trying new things is also related to a problem we've been fighting for a while. The problem of she not putting me first and everything that that means....well, now I can say that things are very different than before....she is investing in our relationship....and most importantly she understand that we cannot lose sight that our relationship is the most important thing in our lives and that if we work at keeping that emotional connection strong then, we have a better chance to be in love the rest of our lives....

Anyway, I am talking to her to find out what works and what doesn't....I have a list of fantacies that are not kinky at all...unfortunetly, everytime we try, she seems not to go crasy about it as I had pictured in my mind...but I guess, it is normal?? - do women need to feel confortable and several times of trying something new like a dildo inside while giving your H a bj? to really feel like getting into the mood?...last night, my wife said that she felt the dildo and it was nice but that she was not even close from cumming while giving me a BJ (it was spectacular)....she did not let me strok her with it....I think the mistake was that she was not hot enough....I gave her some oral but next time I'll make love to her until she reaches a first orgams or we both get very close and then I'll ask her to do me a bj while I finish her with the dildo...maybe then, she'll be in the mood for me to stroke her with it...the whole fantacy is that we both finish together that way I want to be able to give her an orgasm that doesn't not include my penis (she doesn't orgasm from clit stimulation, she never reaches for it.).....anyway, any comments?


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

what else except GREAT JOB? 
we're going thru the same thing as well, i think once u know what buttons to push, ur in for a home run


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

malmale said:


> what else except GREAT JOB?
> we're going thru the same thing as well, i think once u know what buttons to push, ur in for a home run


Thanks for your support, I know people have bigger problems than this, but for us have been a journey since a year ago, I couldn't even thought about it....so I need to take it easy and show her that it is ok if things don't work out right a way...anyway, I just ordered a vibrator dildo....since I think that if she doesn't feel comfortable with me moving the dildo in and out, may be if I can insert one that once in start vibrating, will offer her something new and exciting....we'll see..it is a surprise for her....


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## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

My wife says she has a hard time maintaining her concentration while she gives head if I'm doing her too. We usually only 69 for a little bit before she rolls off and just works on me.
If your goal is to climax together try to use a vibrating toy between the two of you while in missionary or better yet cowgirl. If it's "G" spot stimulation that works hold her feet way up and place the bottons together, missionary of course. Have her rub the vibrator on her clit while you work in and out with short shallow strokes. The "G" spot isn't at the bottom so you don't have to pound like hell, let the "crown" rub against it and see if that works. 
Good for you two and keep up the good work...one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind!!!:smthumbup:


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

You don't need to appologize for the essence of your questions. I had similar questions about enhancing my experiences with my wife and wondered too if such posts belonged here. I contacted the staff at tam to see if my similar posts are out of line considering some of the problems that other face in this section. They told me that my posts were as appropriate as any others. 

I think your posts are insightful and you are not alone in your desire to ask these questions. It would seem that in general this desire to experiment seems to follow some gender lines There will be people that think you are trying to make your wife into a porn star and they can have those opinions. To me and i would imagine others you are simply trying to expore new ways of pleasuring eachother. 

Good luck!


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I would say from your past threads that your wife just needs more time to open up with these sorts of things. Not saying to stop at all, but yeah maybe give her 2-3 times of doing it and see if she likes it any better. 

I think a lot of women have to be truly comfortable with their man and themselves to let go and have that amazing, mind altering sex. If she isn't comfortable then search for ways to be more intimate outside of the bedroom so she gets more comfy with you.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

DawnD said:


> I would say from your past threads that your wife just needs more time to open up with these sorts of things. Not saying to stop at all, but yeah maybe give her 2-3 times of doing it and see if she likes it any better.
> 
> I think a lot of women have to be truly comfortable with their man and themselves to let go and have that amazing, mind altering sex. If she isn't comfortable then search for ways to be more intimate outside of the bedroom so she gets more comfy with you.


Thanks for your words.....I think, to me is kind of wired since my wife has never been the type but since we started having sex daily she has been more sexual....my problems is that sometimes I get mind tired (if you know what I mean) since to get to this point has been quite dramatic as my wife come from a very very conservative family that tought her since little that her vagine could never be touched by anyone...so, she never learned to pleasure herself...so everything has been a battle with her and sometimes I just don't know what happens with me as it doesn't matter that she let me do things with her, but since I still feel like is all because of me, I don't know if I've made peace with the fact that I need to be patient and may be some day, she'll make me feel that she wants something special......today, everything that happens I initiate...well, 90% of the times....and may be I should be ok with it....anyway, these are my own demons....not my wife fault...:scratchhead::scratchhead:


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

If she has been that way since you have known her, then it is going to be hard for her to understand why you want her to change. This is something you came into the relationship knowing??

Her slowly being more sexual is a good sign! That's progress. Its slow I am sure, but you can't expect too much from the girl. She is attempting to change to be a better wife for you, so put more emphasis on that instead of what she isn't doing. If you beat down on her about what she isn't doing for you then she might just give up. ( not saying you are, just saying LOL)

If it were me and I was trying to talk to my hubby about something say, BJ's. I might ask him easy questions. Show me where it feels really good. Show me where it feels okay. How do you like the pressure like *this* or like *that*. Start small and celebrate every step TOGETHER


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

DawnD said:


> I would say from your past threads that your wife just needs more time to open up with these sorts of things. Not saying to stop at all, but yeah maybe give her 2-3 times of doing it and see if she likes it any better.
> 
> I think a lot of women have to be truly comfortable with their man and themselves to let go and have that amazing, mind altering sex. If she isn't comfortable then search for ways to be more intimate outside of the bedroom so she gets more comfy with you.


 similar in many ways to a game of darts. if they land on you u already missed the exam, and gone overtime.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Fantacy vs reality....you always want to remember to keep in mind the goal which is to have fun and get her and you to orgasim. My big guy got real fixated on wanting me to "O" in a particular position and would get frustated because he would cum befor I would and he wanted me to cum at the same time as him. So I had him use the dildo on me in that position one night.....i did it to show him how long it would take and how much effort it took for me to cum in that position with him in me.....yeah even in his prime he couldn't lasted that long. We laughed and decided that fantacy needed a little tweeking....it weren't achievable for us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

I always like to be in control of my own pleasure while giving BJ's...maybe you could ask her to use the vibe/dildo on herself? When someone else is in control it requires concentration for me.


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