# Argument about sex



## Mindful Coach (Sep 15, 2011)

Hey Ladies, men can chime in too, but looking for ladies input here.

My husband read something online where a woman said that 75% of all women hate sex, and only use it as a bargaining tool to get what they do want. I told him that is grossly inaccurate, but he thinks there is truth to that. 

Tell me what you think about that please!

Thanks,
MC


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Well, the first problem with this claim is HE READ IT ON THE INTERNET. Just because it is in print on the internet, does not make it so. Also, was it a man's site like Maxim or Men's Health?

It sounds like your husband was reading something posted somewhere by a very angry and sexually frustrated man. Could you get us the source of this crap? I would love to read it.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Agree with Endless...you can find someone on the internet that will tell you that smoking is healthy, too.

I started a thread earlier this week about people who don't like sex...and I always felt that it would lean mostly toward women; but 75%? Seems high...only 1 woman answered my post saying she didn't like sex.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

I have never seen a real survey that would support anywhere close to that number. It would probably vary greatly by age and circumstance.


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## Mindful Coach (Sep 15, 2011)

I don't have the source, it was posted as a comment by a woman. I agree about taking what you read on the internet with a grain of salt, when it rings true to you though it is harder to negate. I've actually coached women that would like more sex, not just to get something from it, and of course myself and my girlfriends - I would say out of 20 women I've talked to, I know 1 who could take it or leave it. A far cry from 75%!


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## Silly Husband (Aug 30, 2010)

Sometimes, when my wife reads something to me, I misunderstand and my 'innapropriate' response causes minor friction. I would be curious what your husband 'thinks' he heard. I would bet that he heard '75% of women HAVE used sex as a tool' or something to that effect.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'm a woman and I'm not like that.

My friends who have sex issues in their marriage have husband who have a lower drive.

So, that's all I know.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Mindful Coach said:


> Hey Ladies, men can chime in too, but looking for ladies input here.
> 
> My husband read something online where a woman said that 75% of all women hate sex, and only use it as a bargaining tool to get what they do want. I told him that is grossly inaccurate, but he thinks there is truth to that.
> 
> ...


Well...lets see what the actual science says. This study included a rigorous survey of over 1,000 couples and completed in 2011.. pretty recently.

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/publications/PDF/Heiman couples midlife and older 5 countries.pdf

Just about accross the board - women report sligtly higher satisfaction with their sex lives than men do. (See page 10 of 13 in the report). The funny part is that not only do women report higher satisfaction generally, but that men report that they generally enjoy cuddling more than women do. (Guys - I guess the gig is up...  )

category / men / women
Probability of reporting relationship happiness
Seldom kiss/cuddle 0.83 0.78
Often kiss/cuddle 0.93 0.85
Difference 0.11 0.07 ns
Seldom caress by partner 0.86 0.81
Often caress by partner 0.95 0.85
Difference 0.09 0.04 ns
Seldom kiss/cuddle & caress 0.75 0.76
Often kiss/cuddle & caress 0.97 0.87
Difference 0.21 0.11
Probability of reporting sexual satisfaction
Seldom kiss/cuddle 0.65 0.67
Often kiss/cuddle 0.78 0.80
Difference 0.13 0.14
Seldom caress by partner 0.64 0.72
Often caress by partner 0.85 0.80
Difference 0.21 0.07
Seldom kiss/cuddle & caress 0.53 0.63
Often kiss/cuddle & caress 0.88 0.84
Difference 0.34 0.21

to be fair, sexual satisfaction reported by men is higher until a relationship hits about 15 years... and then women report much greater satisfaction than men do. The odds of women reporting high satisfaction also *doubles* when there is also frequent kissing, cuddling and touching compared to their counterparts that do not.

In any case - the notion that '75% of women hate sex' is complete and utter, unfiltered, steaming, eye-watering Bull$#it.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

my wife did not participate in the survey


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

It's hogwash for sure but hard to argue with someone once they've got in their head that it's true.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Tell him that even if he holds tight to the belief that 75% of women hate sex or use it as a relationship bargaining chip based upon one woman's unsubstantiated comment on the internet, that he should feel very lucky and blessed that he's married to you - because you're in the other 25%.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

My theory is that a woman who is disinterested in sex may be disinterested in her partner. That goes for men as well. Remember that new sex with a new partner? The excitement, the newness, the discovery? Perhaps most people (not just women) would like to feel that again. 

Also, if you are married to a one pump chump, you will become disinterested in sex pretty fast, but only with the chump!


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