# I could use some help



## hmem (Dec 3, 2010)

I am considering divorce and I don't know what to do. We have been married 6 years and there has been rough times throughout but also great times but I have been really unhappy lately and I am so clueless and lost and alone. I tried to schedule marriage counseling but my husband refuses to attend. He got upset with me the other day and left with his buddies for the night and when I tried to tell him I didn't think that was ok he pretty much laughed at me and said it was my fault it happened. I am fully aware I am not a perfect wife but I am just so hurt by so many things. I kept forgetting to call our insurance company on one of our cars and he called me effing lazy, but I go to work full time, and I go to school full time, 3 days a week i leave the house at 7 am and don't get home until after 9 pm because I go straight from work to class. It's not like it's been a real picnic for me, I am doing all of this for a better life for all of us, (we have a child). I just don't know if I pull the plug or if I haven't put in enough effort to make this work. I just don't know what to do or say anymore. And these of course are just a few examples of a few things that have happened recently.


----------



## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I agree with pandakiss. Communicate to him how you feel. There needs to be a huge change in his behavior. 

Tell him to either attend marriage counseling or you are seriously considering (or will) leaving him. Give him some time to think about it, but be firm. 

It is possible for husbands to change from jerks to great supporters.


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Works full time, school full time, AND takes care of a child? That's lazy??????? I wish everyone were that lazy.


----------



## hmem (Dec 3, 2010)

Thanks for the help. I guess I didn't realize I probably haven't flat out told him I am generally unhappy, maybe he needs to hear that. He is so stubborn, I think he will probably just have a "too bad for you" attitude but like Pandakiss said, if I let him know I am unhappy and things need to change and they don't, that should be answer enough. 

We talked a little bit last night and he said "lazy" was the wrong choice of words but "irresponsible" was better word and he does have a point, I should have called but I just kept forgetting or remembered at a bad time. But when we were talking tonight it was like he was giving his 15 year child a life lecture on responsibility, not his wife. It was degrading. He had to run out for a bit and said he wants to talk about something else when he gets back so we shall see...


----------

