# What to do? I need advice.



## unhappyinmississippi (Jan 31, 2013)

I guess this will be a little long but I have to start at the beginning. My wife and I have been married for 13 years in June of this year. We have three kids 12,5, and 2. We married young she was 18 and me 21. She started college and quit about a month after starting and took a min wage job for about six months and took off the rest of the time she was pregnant with our first child. I was fine with this and she decided to go back to school only to quit again. She went without a job to raise our son which was fine too but when he started school she never tried to get a job. She decided to go to school then and finished a one year LPN program and worked as a nurse for about 18 months. When she got a job finally I talked to her about pursuing a dream of mine to be a Marine. I went through my paper work and physical. I passed everything and swore in. There was a problem though and she decided she did not want me going active. I tried to make a compromise and it was one month before i was supposed to ship out. I was going To be a MP and I mentioned swapping to reserves. Her response was to do what you want to do but I do not plan on being here when you get back. So I spoke to my recruiter and was able to get out of my enlistment. A few months later I found a posting for a police officer. I spoke to her about doing that since it was a state police job and it played into what I was wanting to do in th. Marine Corps. It would be a pay cut for me and she made enough to easily make up the difference in pay and so I started the police academy. I went through the academy and started my state job and loved it. There was a problem though when she didn't like me doing the job. She quit her job over an argument with her bosses and refused to get another job. This made me have to let the policing job go to return back to a job a hated. I made a lot more money which has supported us over the years. We had a couple of more children later on and she still doesn't have a job yet which forces me to have to put in a lot of long hours to get us by. I consistently here about the long hours I put in from her. She has complained about our old house and how unhappy she was with it so this year we had the ability to build a house and so we did. I thought it might make her happier. It hasn't really helped and she still will not work. She says she is too good to take a min wage job but refuses to go back into nursing. She started a teaching degree program 4 years ago but dropped out in the middle of her second semester. To make matters worse she has basically cut sex down to nothing over the last four years too. Once a month is good and then she just basically wants to get done as quickly as possible. I am very unhappy and very resentful for her not working and me having to give up a job I loved. It takes me working 7 days a week at least three and sometime 4 weeks out of the month to get us by. I love my children very much and they are one of the reasons I have stayed with her this long trying to work things out. I still love her but she won't help me and refuses to listen to anything I say. On top of this I get home every night between 1230 and 130 in the morning and I still get up and get the kids ready for school and take care of our 2 year old till about 1100 in the morning or after till she gets out of bed. I go to work between 130 and 330 in the evening. I am just at wits end and don't know what to do. I can't afford child support for three children and make all of our other payments and that holds me with her too. I am in a very unhappy place right now. Any advice you all could give would be very appreciated.
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