# I love him i love him not



## shymichelle (Jan 3, 2011)

Me and my husband have been together for about 10yr and have been married for 3 yr. he has been locked up for almost a yr me and our two kids see him every weekend. I used to be so excited to see him now not so much. he has told me that i seem different as if i don't love him anymore. i told him he was crazy and i love him. after he told me how i was acting different i sat back and thought about it. my feeling for him have changed. you know how when you are in love you get that nerves feeling around that person i don't get that around him. when i see someone that i used to be wit i do get that nerves feeling. when i see this guy i try to make sure that he sees me. i dont know wat to do my husband gets out in 3 months and i don't know if i should talk to him about it now or just wait to see how i feel when he gets out. i have been thinking about this for the past 4 days not sure wat to do I do love my husband but not so much as i did.


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## kendra2705 (Oct 31, 2010)

Hi depends what he is locked up for ?? if it's violence then I wouldn't tell him anything , you say you still love him but not as much as you did, don't forget you are not seeing him as much as you did so you are probrably lonely which is what is making you look elsewhere for something. I'd wait for him to come home in 3 months and see how you feel and see how things pan out in the future , forget this other fellow and switching too soon doen't work . good luck x:smthumbup:


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. If he's only doing a year it makes me think he's serving his time at the county and not actually prison. Doesn't really make much difference, you can't ACT like a married couple since he's locked up. So many restrictions on contact of any kind. 
Distance yourself from the other guy...just don't go there. Your husband is soon to be out, and with enough effort you can hopefully regain those feelings. It will take work on YOUR part as well as his. Good luck, I wish you both the best.


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## shymichelle (Jan 3, 2011)

major misfit said:


> Distance yourself from the other guy...just don't go there.


its not easy to distance myself he works where my husband is at. So every time I go in I see him.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Just wait until your H gets out. Of course you dont feel like you used to around him, you only see him once a week for a year. after he gets out let him know that the physical distance has created some emotional distance for you. and after he's out then try to stop seeing that other guy.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

shymichelle said:


> its not easy to distance myself he works where my husband is at. So every time I go in I see him.


What I meant is not literally physical distance (although that is good)...but distance yourself emotionally. Focus on your husband and the visit. If I read your original post right, this was someone you were previously involved with? They're usually exes for a very good reason, if that's the case. 
Just give yourself some time, and give your marriage a chance. You can't do that if you're thinking about someone else. It might help you if you find a support forum for partners of prisoners. Others in your same situation, and likely someone who has felt as you do now. Good luck, I wish you both the best.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I would wait and see how you feel once he's out and you're living together as a married couple again. It could just be the fact that your relationship is different right now; it could also be that whatever he did to get locked up has changed how you feel about him. If that's the case, him getting out and coming home won't alter anything, but if it's just the fact that he's locked up and things are different, then after he gets home and you guys get back in the rhythm of your life together again, your feelings should come back. If they don't, and you really want to try to work things out, try counseling at that point. 

Regardless of what else you do, stay away from the other guy. That's trouble, no matter what, and could prematurely end your marriage, whether you wanted to end it or not.


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