# Troubled marriage



## lavanya (Mar 1, 2014)

I am really in a very vulnerable situation with my husband. We have been married for 8years and have a kid. Ours was an arranged marriage. After my baby was born I went out of country to finish my studies. We both were very understanding and always stick to same decision no matter what. When I went abroad he was really stressful with his career. He met a girl who was divorcing her husband as he ditched her for another woman. My husband and she were working in the same company. My husband gave her moral support and helped her to cope up with the situation. Later on they became friends. This was 2years ago. They both remained friends initially but later on started to have a sex chats on whatsapp and Skype. I confronted my husband with emails and messages. He promised me that it wasn't intentional and he was never serious about her. I came back last year to my husband and they still continued until I came to know few days ago. I am completely shattered and can't share with my family. They will be heart broken. He promised me that he will stop talking to her and will be loyal in our relationship. He begged me for forgiveness. He never mistreated me ever since we were married and I never felt that he can do something like this as I trusted him more than myself. I don't know what to do! This is his first mistake and he realizesed his mistake. Do I have give him another chance? I really appreciate your help.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Hi, lavanya. You may want to go to CWI with this.

They will tell you to tell everyone you know what he did.

We used to live in India, and we knew a lot of people with arranged marriages. Sometimes it works out well.

It sounds like your husband really likes her. This is going to be hard.

There would probably be a stigma to divorce where you are from.

I am guessing by your post that you love him. Is that right? Or are you more afraid of what your family might say if you two did divorce?


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## lavanya (Mar 1, 2014)

I love him a lot. He has been my life and did whatever I can to keep him happy. I spoke to the other women and she agreed not to contact my husband and she doesn't want to be the third person in my life. She said I am sorry for all of us and I think you should forgive him. I am not afraid to divorce as I am independent woman and I can take care of my kid. I am worried for my parents as my father is a heart patient.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Okay, this is good. What do you think about telling people you know about this, as an extra motivator for him to avoid contacting her?

Could you speak to your father's doctor before speaking to your dad?


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

I think you should try to work it out. The affair happened in an environment where you weren't living with your husband. If you're going to live together from now on, there's a good chance that the same motivations and opportunities won't be present.

Good luck.


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