# In law trouble. I don't want to visit



## needopinion (Sep 10, 2010)

I have a very cruel mother in law. She is emotionally abusive to our son. She literally told him that he was not the best in his karate class and a little girl who she did not know was HER favorite because she likes girls better. She is horrible. She won't play with him and chastises him. It's a rough time every time she visits. 

Well my husband wants to go visit them out of state. His dad just left 2 weeks ago! He wants me to demand time off at work. This despite I was recently notified they may not sign me to another contract. I told him that he could go with our son but that I have to leave time off for more interviews. He said well "that's taking time off so why can't you take time off to spend with my family". I said I'm trying to keep good on the table and you are more worried about seeing your emotionally abusive parents? I told him that providing for MY family is more important right now. He's mad. Am I crazy? I can't believe that he's mad about this and equating a day off to interview for a new job as vacationing with his family who was JUST here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

does your husband view his mother as "emotionally abusive"?

my family can be very sarcastic. always have been. my wife's family was never like that so when she visits with my family, she gets offended by the sarcasm directed towards her.

is it intended to hurt her? no but that's how she perceives it. so take a step back and look at the situation. if your husband doesn't perceive this as "emotionally abusive", you can see why your not going creates a problem.

however, unless the visit is for something special (death in the family, etc...) taking time off at a sensitive time at your job isn't a smart thing to do and hubby should understand that, as long as you aren't using your job as an excuse.


----------



## needopinion (Sep 10, 2010)

Well yes. My husband fully acknowledges that she is down right cruel. But it's really 2 separate issues. I said I can't go because of this work issue. It's the honest truth. I was prepared to go last month but his dad chose to come see us instead. But he said that I shouldn't care about my employment issue when it comes to vacation. He said you took last Friday off! I said it was for a JOB interview. He said well don't say you can't take time off then....





Married&Confused said:


> does your husband view his mother as "emotionally abusive"?
> 
> my family can be very sarcastic. always have been. my wife's family was never like that so when she visits with my family, she gets offended by the sarcasm directed towards her.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Your h is being a jerk. Your job matters. Your wishes matter. You are not preventing him from going. Don't feel bad about it....and try not to leave it on bad terms. His mom is his mom..... even when she's a *****.


----------

