# I finally did it!



## Melinda82

Hi, everyone! I've been lurking on here for several months, reading and learning from all of the regulars. I finally got up the nerve to join. Hopefully I'll get up the nerve to post my marriage issues soon. For now, I'll just say I'm a 40-year-old woman, married over 20 years, who needs someone to talk to.


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## Angie?or…

Welcome aboard!


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## BeyondRepair007

Melinda82 said:


> Hi, everyone! I've been lurking on here for several months, reading and learning from all of the regulars. I finally got up the nerve to join. Hopefully I'll get up the nerve to post my marriage issues soon. For now, I'll just say I'm a 40-year-old woman, married over 20 years, who needs someone to talk to.


Welcome! I’m glad you’re here.
be brave and post to your hearts content.

I never posted before on anything at all in my 58m life.
After a bunch of changes to my worldview I decided to break out of my shell and started posting/commenting on TAM

I don’t really know how much it helps other people but it sure does help me 
I’m a work in progress!


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## TXTrini

Hi Melinda, welcome! Feel free to post as soon as your gather your thoughts, the sooner the better if you need guidance. You'll definitely find support and direction here.


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## Diana7

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Welcome! I’m glad you’re here.
> be brave and post to your hearts content.
> 
> I never posted before on anything at all in my 58m life.
> After a bunch of changes to my worldview I decided to break out of my shell and started posting/commenting on TAM
> 
> I don’t really know how much it helps other people but it sure does help me
> I’m a work in progress!


Yes, we are all works in progress👍


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## chazmataz33

I don't post much but I sure do read alot.welcome,there's alot of good advice here


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## Melinda82

Thanks, everyone! One of the reasons it's taken me so long to post is because compared to a lot of the stories I read on here, my problems seem trivial! The other reason is I've never shared extremely personal marital issues with anyone before. But I really want to hear other people's opinions on my situation.


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## BeyondRepair007

Melinda82 said:


> Thanks, everyone! One of the reasons it's taken me so long to post is because compared to a lot of the stories I read on here, my problems seem trivial! The other reason is I've never shared extremely personal marital issues with anyone before. But I really want to hear other people's opinions on my situation.


You’re off to good start!

Personal things can be hard to share, but also very cathartic. Do what I did… write everything down first, then take a deep breath and put it in a post here. I was freaked out for a few minutes, but once it’s done, it’s done and it feels much better.

No one knows who you are here, except Melinda in the US. Which I expect is a false name.

Don’t ever post information that can identify you, like name of your town, names of relatives, monuments nearby, streets, stuff like that. A lot of people even change some details so that it makes identifying you hard for people that you know. For example I might say I have 4 kids if I only have 2. Or I’ve been married 25 years but it’s been 35.

Honesty and the most detail about the situation will get you the best advice in return.

You can feel safe here just be careful with real world details you share.


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## Melinda82

BeyondRepair007 said:


> You’re off to good start!
> 
> Personal things can be hard to share, but also very cathartic. Do what I did… write everything down first, then take a deep breath and put it in a post here. I was freaked out for a few minutes, but once it’s done, it’s done and it feels much better.
> 
> No one knows who you are here, except Melinda in the US. Which I expect is a false name.
> 
> Don’t ever post information that can identify you, like name of your town, names of relatives, monuments nearby, streets, stuff like that. A lot of people even change some details so that it makes identifying you hard for people that you know. For example I might say I have 4 kids if I only have 2. Or I’ve been married 25 years but it’s been 35.
> 
> Honesty and the most detail about the situation will get you the best advice in return.
> 
> You can feel safe here just be careful with real world details you share.


Thank you! I think you think a lot like me. I've already written it all out--and made revisions! I'm just terrified of posting it, because once it's out there, it's out there. I know not to give personal info. I'd also thought of changing details slightly, but hate lying. You telling me I can, though, makes me feel a little better about it.


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## BeyondRepair007

Melinda82 said:


> Thank you! I think you think a lot like me. I've already written it all out--and made revisions! I'm just terrified of posting it, because once it's out there, it's out there. I know not to give personal info. I'd also thought of changing details slightly, but hate lying. You telling me I can, though, makes me feel a little better about it.


I’ve seen people get called out on changing details before. Like when the math doesn’t add up on how old your kids are or something. Just be honest…”I changed some details to remain anonymous“

It s not a problem, everyone understands that.

Im glad to hear you’re almost ready!


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## Lotsofheart73

Welcome


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## JLCP

Welcome. This board and all the people who have responded and provided advice have really helped me put things in perspective in my marriage. This is a great place to figure things out!


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## Kristine C

Melinda82 said:


> Hi, everyone! I've been lurking on here for several months, reading and learning from all of the regulars. I finally got up the nerve to join. Hopefully I'll get up the nerve to post my marriage issues soon. For now, I'll just say I'm a 40-year-old woman, married over 20 years, who needs someone to talk to.





Melinda82 said:


> Hi, everyone! I've been lurking on here for several months, reading and learning from all of the regulars. I finally got up the nerve to join. Hopefully I'll get up the nerve to post my marriage issues soon. For now, I'll just say I'm a 40-year-old woman, married over 20 years, who needs someone to talk to.


Hi Melinda,
I just joined and your post caught my eye. I’ve been married for 28 years and came on here to hopefully find someone to talk to too. my marriage was good in the beginning then comfortable then very bad. I’m still in it, but it’s difficult to say the least. I’m not ready to post so publicly either and hear the obvious responses I’ll get about how I should leave etc. I know that, it’s just difficult. Hopefully I’ll get there to.


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## BeyondRepair007

Kristine C said:


> Hi Melinda,
> I just joined and your post caught my eye. I’ve been married for 28 years and came on here to hopefully find someone to talk to too. my marriage was good in the beginning then comfortable then very bad. I’m still in it, but it’s difficult to say the least. I’m not ready to post so publicly either and hear the obvious responses I’ll get about how I should leave etc. I know that, it’s just difficult. Hopefully I’ll get there to.


Hi Kristine. Welcome to TAM. I’m sorry you’re here with troubles 
Melinda did start a thread here and got a lot of great responses.

When you’re ready to post, take your time and move ahead At your own pace, everyone is different.
It’s hard at first, but worth it in the end.


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## Melinda82

Kristine C said:


> Hi Melinda,
> I just joined and your post caught my eye. I’ve been married for 28 years and came on here to hopefully find someone to talk to too. my marriage was good in the beginning then comfortable then very bad. I’m still in it, but it’s difficult to say the least. I’m not ready to post so publicly either and hear the obvious responses I’ll get about how I should leave etc. I know that, it’s just difficult. Hopefully I’ll get there to.
> [/QUOT


Hi Kristine,
I hope you can find the nerve to post. It has been really helpful to me to hear all of the opinions and ideas on my situation. Most have been very kind and insightful. The ones that aren't you just ignore. Keeping everything bottled up all these months was killing me. Finally talking about it to someone (or a whole lot of someones!) has made me feel a lot better. Good luck!


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## heartsbeating

I’ve read some of your other thread, and hope you continue to stick around. Good to have you here 😊


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