# Did you/would you add your ex as a friend on Facebook?



## Malibu17

Been divorced for over a year and a half now. My ex and I talk, but usually about the kids and other life matters...not getting back together, which I'm not interested in, because of the issues. 

She recently sent me a friend request on Facebook and I'm hesitant to accept it. Even though I, nor she is currently in a relationship, I'm concerned that it could become an issue in the future when I/she does get in one. However, my brother and his ex are FB friends, years after their divorce and they're both remarried.

I'm also concerned it could send a wrong message to other FB friends that we're getting back together...

Any experiences or thoughts on this?


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## that_girl

Ex-spouse? No.

I won't add my older daughter's father.

Ex from HS or college? depends. I have 2 exes on my FB. Nothin' goin on with that. We haven't dated in over 10 years.


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## Cooper

My ex wife wanted to be friends on FB as well and I just deleted her request. Do you want the ex knowing about what's going on in your life socially? Do you want to know what's going on in her life? My ex and I are civil to each other but now have different lives and I'm happy to keep it that way, if things come up I just call her or send a text/email, and she does the same. 

I vote no.


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## Oak

My relationship with my Ex is cordial and even though we are not friends who see each other regularly, we DO have curiosity about each other's lives. Perhaps one day years down the road when we both have separate families of our own I might have considered it, but then I would also have to think about how that would look to my girlfriend or wife at the time. I just do not think it would be a healthy situation so will stay away from it


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## Shooboomafoo

thats just how my wife's affair started. By adding an ex from 20 years ago to her FB friends list.

So sure! go right ahead.


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## Oak

Shooboomafoo said:


> thats just how my wife's affair started. By adding an ex from 20 years ago to her FB friends list.
> 
> So sure! go right ahead.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

EXACTLY


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## Riverside MFT

There is a reason she is your ex. There were problems in the relationship. I would say no to having an ex on FB. People often act differently when they are online and you wouldn't want to give her any false assumptions that things were going to work out (unless that is what you wanted).
Yes it could lead to a possible affair after one or both of you get remarried. Yes it would probably send the wrong message to other friends/family on your FB.


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## Entropy3000

If you are in a relationship it is especially risky. It is generally thought that once you have been intimate with someone in a relationship, even when there has been bad blood, that it is too easy in a weak moment to just pickup where you left off. The thing is there was a reason why you had initmate relations with them. There was also a reason you cut that off.

So it is wise to not be in contact with them accept as required, i.e. children.

It also puts pressure on your marriage by concerning your spouse. Why do that to them. Seems unfair.


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## oceanbreeze

i'm still going through divorce...my date got pushed back another 6 months by someone (i have no idea who if it was him/ex or the lawyers), but anyhow, stbxh tried to add me on fb and under 'it's complicated.' i'm thinking no way! this guy treated me all sorts of ways and endangered my life so i would think it's way more complicated that it should be simplified as a non-existent relationship...therefore...i vote no. besides, what happens when you see things you dont want to see such as a new date, or wild nights, or things your ex would not have done with you but is doing on their own? those would bring up bad feelings and depending on your temperament either confront him/her or something else crazy. so, keep it simple and just say no.


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## LonelyNLost

I would never want to put a future partner in the uncomfortable position of not being okay with that. I think it's a topic of conversation that should be discussed early on. However, in my case, my ex reconnected with an ex girlfriend from high school and the rest is history. So I have a reason to be concerned. I just think that if there's a past, then there's an easy way to reignite that. Maybe even unintentionally. I'm jaded on the topic, though. But I definitely vote no.


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## Love2Bugs

I say no. I have my Ex as a friend on FB just so he can see progress and updates on our children. However i want to delete and block him ! It will only create more issues. She will be able to see pics, your updates, and possibly harass you lol. My advice DONT do it !


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## Malibu17

Thanks for the advice and feedback everyone. Even though my Ex and I get along fine now, I definitely can foresee issues in the future, if I add her as a friend on FB. Therefore, I chose to ignore her request, so as to avoid any potential drama and the possibility of having to defriend her.


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## Riverside MFT

Malibu17 said:


> Thanks for the advice and feedback everyone. Even though my Ex and I get along fine now, I definitely can foresee issues in the future, if I add her as a friend on FB. Therefore, I chose to ignore her request, so as to avoid any potential drama and the possibility of having to defriend her.


:yay:


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## Soccerfan73

Wise choice


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## Malibu17

I went so far as to tell my Ex today, why it's a bad idea to friend one another on FB...and why I ignored her friend request. 

She recently started dating someone, which could become serious and even though I'm not currently dating anyone, I told her the ramifications that could occur if her/my BF/GF saw that we were friends on FB.

She seemed to understand and agree.


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## Jellybeans

Don't have a FB but if I did, I am not sure I would. I am sort of over all exes and FB in general.


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## SoxMunkey

that_girl said:


> Ex-spouse? No.
> 
> I won't add my older daughter's father.
> 
> Ex from HS or college? depends. I have 2 exes on my FB. Nothin' goin on with that. We haven't dated in over 10 years.


Exactly! My ex and I will NOT be "friends" on FB or in life anytime soon. There is a better chance of me being in the same space as her, but never friends on FB! The drama and issues that could cause!

I've blocked my ex from adding me or even finding me on FB. I don't need to go back down that road.


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## Darrenlau

Hell no


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## HappyAtLast

I have come to the conclusion that the so-called "social media" is inherently evil...young people don't know how to communicate with people face-to-face..they can only do it on the computer. Part of having friends, dealing with people,etc. is actually talking with them in person, seeing their expressions, etc. Most people just sit in front of their computer all alone and think they can be "friends" virtually that way..what kind of friendship is that?
It's not just FB..it's other sites as well..Flickr is just a social place, disguised as a photography site.


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## remmons

I am friends with my first ex-W on FB, but not with my second ex-W. If the question were ever to rise, I would have to think about it. We are both being civil towards regarding our child, but we have nothing else in common any more at this time.


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## remmons

HappyAtLast said:


> I have come to the conclusion that the so-called "social media" is inherently evil...young people don't know how to communicate with people face-to-face..they can only do it on the computer. Part of having friends, dealing with people,etc. is actually talking with them in person, seeing their expressions, etc. Most people just sit in front of their computer all alone and think they can be "friends" virtually that way..what kind of friendship is that?
> It's not just FB..it's other sites as well..Flickr is just a social place, disguised as a photography site.


I can totally agree with you. There are times where some one wishes to reply to a comment and they get all bent out of shape because they took it out of context. All this could have been avoided by a simple face-to-face conversation, where you can read their expressions and reactions.


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