# When to teach child of birds and bees?



## AnotherEarthling (Oct 31, 2011)

When is the right time to teach your child the facts of life, birds and bees? My parents never taught me about those things. I want to teach my child and give her a strong foundation on what is moral and right and safe. However, I don't know how to go about doing that? I don't feel too comfortable. Any suggestions?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My daughter knew about the differences by preschool.

She knew about sex by 3rd grade because the kids at school were talking about "sex" and she didn't know what it was...i don't think they knew either. lol.

Now she's in 7th grade and we have more indepth conversations about sex and relationships and love and emotions and sexual acts, stds, etc. How I'd like for her to wait until college and in a committed relationship before having sex. We talk about protection, self respect, boys. We talk about pregnancy and how I don't want to raise grandchildren. Save it for when she can support herself.

I'm pretty open about sex with my kids.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

that_girl said:


> My daughter knew about the differences by preschool.
> 
> She knew about sex by 3rd grade because the kids at school were talking about "sex" and she didn't know what it was...i don't think they knew either. lol.
> 
> ...


I am EXACTLY like this ^^^ even with my sons, and I am very comfortable and amazingly , they are decently comfortable with me too ! We discovered our 13 yr old had hidden porn on his laptop , we had a very unique way of dealing with that one-that my son will forever :rofl: at. Husbands idea, and when we finally talked about it (me & him) , I made sure not to shame him, and the things that came out of his own mouth to me -very very proud of him. I know I handled it in a very decent manner. He even told me I was easy to talk too, alot easier than he thought it would be. 

Kids are going to be talking anyway - too many parents make the mistake of saying NOTHING to their children, like sex is a dirty word, can never be spoken about or mentioned. My husband grew up in that type of atmosphere, can't say it did him any favors. 

I'll never forget a day our family sat down to play scrabble, 1st word on the board was "AROUSE" , boys played with us, many sexual words were used ...HOT, GAY, daughter put down SEX, another one had LUST on there. We were :rofl: & :rofl: 

Just be yourself in front of your kids, if you try too much to hide every little thing or shield her eyes from every kiss on TV, it will just make her more curious and she will get other ideas from more promiscuous friends & feel peer pressure to do as they do - this is the last thing you want, and her hiding everything from you -cause she will not feel her parents are 
"*approachable*" or worry she may feel shamed to bring it up to you -if she has questions --- this is why we MUST bring it up with them, show them they can come to us with ALL ...

I want my kids to feel the FREEDOM to come to me and share anything and everything. My oldest is 21 , he is still a virgin, and is very responsible with his sexuality, it has not hurt my children to be "open". He also got many teachings at Church, sometimes I think they are a little too Strict though, to the point of feeling much guilt for having a little "lust" and a constant need for repentence.... .I personally do not agree with that, I feel that can harm people and set them up for repression in early marriage. 

Yes, Teens should wait to have sex, but still teach it is a glorious thing, nothing to be ashamed of...and what an AWESOME *responsiblity *sex is, as life can be created from it, it should NEVER be taken lightly, diseases can be caught -that last a lifetime -if used carelessly and emotionally a girl can have her heart ripped out if she uses it too quickly with a guy who is simply sexually frustrated due to his raging hormones- which has nothing to do with love -no matter what comes out of his mouth in the heat of the moment. Girls especially NEED to understand what young boys are going through!! 

A good book can help you get started also , maybe something like this >>>>

Amazon.com: How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It's Best to Start Early, but It's Never Too Late -- A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents (9781582380575): Linda Eyre, Richard Eyre: Books

.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I was taught very vaguely about menstruation when I was eight. Rudy Huxtable got her "period" on The Cosby Show and my mother told me about the monthly bleed, because I didn't know what "period" meant. All she told me was that when I was older, I would bleed every month for about a week. Nothing about reproduction.

I found out where babies came from the following year, during a religious sex ed lesson at school.

My mother never talked with me about sex, until I was about fourteen. I was forbidden to date until I was 18, so before that, a lot of negative things were said about what all men were like. I was told that kissing was bad, because of what it could lead to.

As I became a young adult, my parents stifled my sexuality by implying that I was loose. This was because I stayed out late and didn't stick with just one man. I left home when I got tired of my mother interfering with my love life, by complaining about me to my boyfriends. 

I wish that my parents had been more open and less old fashioned about sex. As a female, I was not encouraged to get to know myself sexually or become experienced.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

AnotherEarthling said:


> When is the right time to teach your child the facts of life, birds and bees? My parents never taught me about those things. I want to teach my child and give her a strong foundation on what is moral and right and safe. However, I don't know how to go about doing that? I don't feel too comfortable. Any suggestions?


My daughter asked where she came from when she was 4.

I told her she came from inside of mommy.

She then asked how she got in there, I told her I put her in there and explained how.



I made one rule for myself when I became a father.
I will answer each and every question to the best of my ability in complete honesty and frame it in a manner the child can understand.

Knowledge is power, I don`t see why we`d want to weaken our children by keeping it from them.

This rule has served me exceptionally well.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

tacoma said:


> My daughter asked where she came from when she was 4.
> 
> I told her she came from inside of mommy.
> 
> She then asked how she got in there, I told her I put her in there and explained how.


So cute. Thanks for sharing. My daughter is ten.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

There are some reproductive expressions that I find adorable and age appropriate for young kids.

My younger brother was born when I was 3. I was jealous and I wanted to send him back wherever he came from. :rofl:

After asking the same question about twenty times, I was told about a "special Mommy and Daddy hug" that put a baby in Mommy's tummy, where it grew for nine months. 

It *was *an embrace (of sorts) that led to every human, which only adults or spouses should share.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

My 4 year old son is way too inquisitive to just accept anything that doesn't add up. Last week he was talking about the daycare lady who is pregnant and has really started to show, then of course he knew that there is a baby in there, and the questions started to flow: when he was inside mommy how did he get there? How did he get out? Where is the hole that he came out of (he figured out there must be an opening of some sort all on his own, and I guess belly button just no longer works, lol). I actually have a book on human anatomy that is of course very detailed and he loves asking questions, and has seen the fetus and "birth canal". I think he will have a pretty full grasp of reproduction within a few years...

on a side note, my stbxw had bought a porn dvd that was at one point on a shelf in "her" room, I asked her to put it up in the closet so our son's prying eyes weren't corrupted, lol (it had graphic penetration pics on the back of box). When she moved out she left all kinds of stuff behind including this, I had put it in a box along with the other books and movies she left - well the other day my son tore through the box when I was downstairs making breakfast - he went through the box and made a "house" of all the books and dvds, I don't know if paid attention to the porn but he definitely would have seen it - he hasn't asked me any questions yet though...


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