# Name change & divorce



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

I need an opinion. I keep going back and forth. I am a working professional and I just finished my PhD. Sad to say I am about to go through a divorce. The lawyer asked me did I want to keep my married name since I have established myself under that name or go back to maiden name.

Until he asked me that I was like hello...no kids why keep my married name then he brought up the established yourself under your married name and I think what the heck... I dont think I should let that be a reason to keep my married name , having that constant reminder feels like I am trying to hold on to that name when that part of life is gone. Hmmmm any thoughts?
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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

It's been a tough decision for me as well. After 25 years of marriage I have decided to go back to my maiden name. It is a little scary when I think about just how many documents will have to be changed. But, the benefits will justify it. My children are essentially grown, so I'm not worried about that either.

My married name is very unusual--and distinctive. My estranged husband really did some horrible things in our small rural town; he will be a source of gossip for awhile. I had nothing to do with his bad behavior though. My family, however, is a very prominent family and is known county-wide. I see the name change as a way to get a fresh start and disassociate with what my stbx did.


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## oceansaway (May 16, 2011)

Going throught the same here. However I do have a child and "for now" have decided to keep it. It is funny because I never wanted it to begin with! I wanted to hyphen my name but he would not have it. It is a big decision and in some way I know I am holding on to the past. But my lawyer told me I can always change it in the future! It will just cost me more $$. So for now I will keep it....just to piss him off


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I will keep my married name, it's pretty generic, and I wish to keep the same last name as my children, or perhaps I will hyphenate it if I am able to.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

If you lived in Quebec, Canada you would not even be able to change your last name once you got married. It's the law


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I am planning on keeping my married last name until I get re-married (which I have no current plans of) It's easier that way. I dont have to change all that information.


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

I plan on keeping my married name because, well, I'm a man and I have no other choice. 

Just being honest...
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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

LOL! Oh, the decisions you men are faced with.


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## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

I have been thinking recently that if I do divorce I would keep my xH's name just so that I have the same name as my son. Which is funny, because I was so annoyed with H's xW when she didn't change her name back right away after they divorced, lol.

13th_Floor or any other men who happen to read this, how do you feel about an xW keeping (or not keeping) your name? Just out of curiosity.


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Anonymous_Female said:


> I have been thinking recently that if I do divorce I would keep my xH's name just so that I have the same name as my son. Which is funny, because I was so annoyed with H's xW when she didn't change her name back right away after they divorced, lol.
> 
> 13th_Floor or any other men who happen to read this, how do you feel about an xW keeping (or not keeping) your name? Just out of curiosity.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Good question. My H said he wanted me to keep it unless that is some bs I dont know why he would want me to do that, no kids etc... 

I hate thinking about the omg everyone will know you are not married anymore feeling. My maiden name is unique. Apart of me wish that I can think of it as just a name but it reminds me of marriage. The onky thing I am not sure about is once my dissertation is published I am not sure if I can change that hmmmm

I know we cannot erase everything in the past. Its hard to establish your own identity as being soon to be single.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Anonymous_Female said:


> I have been thinking recently that if I do divorce I would keep my xH's name just so that I have the same name as my son. Which is funny, because I was so annoyed with H's xW when she didn't change her name back right away after they divorced, lol.
> 
> 13th_Floor or any other men who happen to read this, how do you feel about an xW keeping (or not keeping) your name? Just out of curiosity.


I wouldn't mind if she decided to keep my last name. My mother married 5 different men and after divorcing all of them, she kept the last name of her 3rd husband, my father. :smthumbup:


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

My wife says she’s to keep my family name. She’s had it over 30 years so I can understand it but it did surprise me. Based on the impression she gave me about what she thought about me and our marriage I thought she’d revert to her family name. I’m not bothered either way. Our two sons are in their 30s so no needs there.

Bob


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