# How do I know for sure it's time to separate ?



## mr man (Jun 30, 2014)

We can barely talk, she'll be nice for a bit but it's not long before she's very negative. She makes up lies and accuses me of things like cheating in front of my kids. She's more of a parent always watching me than a wife. Deep in my gut I'm very tired of this... I can barely talk to her cause it'll just end up in a fight cause she'll say something negative that will piss me off. I do the cooking , groceries, car repair and house repair and help with the cleaning. My down falls are I used to be a drinker till about 3 years ago, I did drink last week cause I was just tired of this- I was also talking to another woman who knew I was married and she and my wife spoke / since my wife likes to always tell me to leave I was actually starting to look for a partner but letting the partner know of my situation. I ended up not talking to her anymore and my wife still continues to tell me to leave but when I want to leave she stops me / she's crazy. Her down falls are she's lazy, stares at her phone all day, bosses kids around all day to do anything for her cause she's so lazy. She yells and swears and likes to threaten and intimidate . So how's this all sound to you ? Time to go? I have 3 kids my oldest 17 and youngest 2 - love my kids and here for them but my wife I just can't be around anymore. 


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

mr man said:


> My down falls are I used to be a drinker till about 3 years ago, I did drink last week cause I was just tired of this


Stop making excuses for your own bad behavior.


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## mr man (Jun 30, 2014)

browser said:


> Stop making excuses for your own bad behavior.




Fair enough but to hold me down for one bad day and discredit my 3 years seems a bit lopsided. And it's like I told my wife , dammed if I do and dammed if I don't. 


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

You want to date other women? Then LEAVE. 

Once you're out of the house and legally separated moving towards divorce, you can go ahead and date other women. 

In that particular order. 

You don't go and try to hookup with other women just because your wife tells you to leave in a fit of rage. 

At least, a guy with morals and character doesn't do that. 

Your mileage may vary.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

It's time yo separate when you have had enough of her not respecting you.

Have you talked to her about how you feel? have you thought about counseling?

A person can only take so much, the next time she tells you to leave then go. Some people will say that want you to leave or always threaten divorce because they are bullies and /or they know you will never leave.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Lostme said:


> Some people will say that want you to leave or always threaten divorce because they are bullies and /or they know you will never leave.


Or, like my exwife, they will say it because they have no self control and they are simply trying to inflict pain, or they feel trapped, and/or they cannot effectively deal with their anger and frustration at what they perceive to be unfair wrongdoings by their partner.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

When your partner constantly tells you to leave, then its way past time to leave. Dont go looking for another partner, end the marriage.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

mr man said:


> We can barely talk, she'll be nice for a bit but it's not long before she's very negative. She makes up lies and accuses me of things like cheating in front of my kids. She's more of a parent always watching me than a wife. Deep in my gut I'm very tired of this... I can barely talk to her cause it'll just end up in a fight cause she'll say something negative that will piss me off. I do the cooking , groceries, car repair and house repair and help with the cleaning. My down falls are I used to be a drinker till about 3 years ago, I did drink last week cause I was just tired of this- I was also talking to another woman who knew I was married and she and my wife spoke / since my wife likes to always tell me to leave I was actually starting to look for a partner but letting the partner know of my situation. I ended up not talking to her anymore and my wife still continues to tell me to leave but when I want to leave she stops me / she's crazy. Her down falls are she's lazy, stares at her phone all day, bosses kids around all day to do anything for her cause she's so lazy. She yells and swears and likes to threaten and intimidate . *So how's this all sound to you ? Time to go?* I have 3 kids my oldest 17 and youngest 2 - love my kids and here for them but my wife I just can't be around anymore.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


It sounds like there is a TON of stuff you aren't talking about


How long have you been married?


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## mr man (Jun 30, 2014)

MarriedDude said:


> It sounds like there is a TON of stuff you aren't talking about
> 
> 
> 
> ...




18 years and she's my high school sweetheart. 


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

mr man said:


> 18 years and she's my high school sweetheart.


So you've basically been together since you were teenagers. I'll also assume that means neither one of you ever had a chance to spread your wings and experience what young people do when they're young. Instead, you two were playing house and having babies while everyone else your age was out doing what you two should have been doing. 

The problem with that is that people grow into different people once they mature. You've clearly grown apart and are no longer on the same page.

It is what it IS.

I don't quite understand why in hell you have a kid that's 2 years old when this dysfunctional marriage has probably been this way for a long, long time. That's the epitome of foolish.

Get the hell out. You can still be a father to your kids without dying a slow death in that train wreck you call a marriage.

Just one word of advice - own your sh*t. You weren't innocent in the death of this marriage, so OWN it.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

I would say that it's time to get out when the negative outweighs the positive, and when you dread being around your spouse instead of being excited to see them and spend time with them.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Ursula said:


> I would say that it's time to get out when the negative outweighs the positive, and when you dread being around your spouse instead of being excited to see them and spend time with them.


Agree 100%!!


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## mr man (Jun 30, 2014)

Geez, thanks for the kind words , lol. So we had a difficult discussion and i agree that she hasn't had a true wing spread and this is probably why she's so imature sometimes. I have asked her to get help and I told her that if she doesn't I'd leave. She's been good since , we'll see how long this last. But yes I'm no angel and yes we're at the end of our rope for sure.


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