# Giving up....



## marriage101 (May 1, 2011)

hi ladies I really need to vent and I dont have anyone else to talk too... im new to this forum.

I have been married for about 5months but we have been together for along time. A month ago, my H kids 3 oldest kids came to live with us (they lived in another state) bc thier mom is burned out. The kids range from 11,13,14 years of age. We do not have any children together and I have a 9year old son. 2weeks ago we said some hurtful things to each other and I was soo angry at him I told him he could pack up and take his kids with me, we both throw off our wedding rings and we are having a hard time. My son and his kids are not getting along and they do not like me that much either which is putting a strain on our marriage....

I know that was mean of me and I wish I could take it back. I told him I was sorry but it aint the same. I am in my mid 20's and he is in his mid 30's. My mom said this is more than I can handle and I do feel like that but he is my H and I knew he had 6kids when we married. The kids mother just spung on us that we was gettin the kids a week before she sent them bc she got evicted from her house. My H in a dad's support group and we might try marriage counseling or he said he might move out with his kids for awhile. 

We also has some intimacy issues. He says he just not into sex like that anymore and he is still attracted to me. Now I am a good looking woman. I feel like a man sometimes bc my hormones be hopping off the charts We dont cuddle, kiss or nothing. We are both depressed and unhappy at this point. We need a bigger place and we both are working two jobs to support all of us....I dont want to lose my H but he is giving up and I feel llike I should too.....


thanks guys for listening....


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## MandyLou (May 6, 2011)

That's rough for you and the kids. Children are a handful even when they haven't been torn away from everything they know.

When my parents found their significant others there were some rules. #1 - the step-parent never told me what to do. If they had an issue, they talked to my dad/mom and my dad/mom told me what to do. Remember, they have parents, you are not their disciplinarian. Think of yourself as an Aunt. #2 - treat them with respect and listen to them. Try to give them space if possible. It takes time to develop new routines when living with someone new and it is stressful. You are the adult, so the self-restraint must come from you (I know it's hard)

I hope this helps and good luck.


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