# I dont want children now ive lost love of my life



## cantcope (May 9, 2012)

Its been two weeks since my boyfriend announced he couldnt live with not having kids. I made it clear from the start i didnt want any and he said he was fine with that. Now 5 years on and he now said he think he would regret it for the rest of his life if he doesnt have them. He moved out and i havent been dealing with it at all well. I tried to take an overdose - obviously failed just a day in hospital with very upset family! But i just cant cope with this pain knowing its all over it hurts so much - i just sit at home and cry all the time. I have never been one for socialising so getting out and trying to move on just doesnt feel like something i want do. He says he loves me more than anything and this is the hardest thing for him too - he just feels he would always resent me. the worst thing is we work at the same place - luckily i only see him when he comes back for tea and dinner break so im not in an office with him all the time - but this is just still too hard. I am in the office on my own all day and it takes everything not to start crying. I want to try and get another job but it will be hard to find something on same pay which i need to be able to keep my house. Please help me get past this i am sick of the crying - even writing this im crying my eyes out. I cant bare a life without him all the things we did together i cant imagine now doing without him. I just wish my overdose had worked so i dont have to have this pain.


----------



## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, honey. You need more help than we can give you. If you were hospitalized for a suicide attempt, I'm sure they gave you referrals to outpatient counseling services -- USE THEM. 

It's certainly normal to feel traumatized and hopeless after such a breakup, but you need to find a better way to cope. Can you stay with family or someone so that you are not alone? Can you take some time off work? I wish you all the best.


----------



## cantcope (May 9, 2012)

hi i wasnt hospitalized they just kept me in to make sure i hadnt dont any damage to myself - i did have a counselor see me but he advised we go to relate!
I dont want to be round anyone - i know it would help but i just want to be on my own with my dog,
I could take time off work - but think it would be worse just being at home surrounded by his stuff. 
The pain is unbelievable


----------

