# The Way She Dresses



## darcy411 (Mar 22, 2011)

Okay, first time user here so bare with me. So here's my dilemma. I'm having a difficult time telling my wife I have an issue with the way she dresses when she goes out (i.e. bar, family events, etc.). I wouldn't necessarily place her on the far end of the spectrum (i.e. dressing very provocative) but it's enough to bother me. I don't think it's necessary to get into too much detail about what she wears as it's such a subjective topic. To give a broad example she's going out to a party this weekend, without me, and purchased a new dress to wear. In my opinion I feel this is the type of dress that's designed to draw male attention,the type of dress that a woman wears when trying to meet someone. I feel a married woman (and man) should respect the boundaries of marriage and part of that is limiting the amount of sexual desire we invoke (or even provoke) with the opposite sex and of course the way we dress plays a role in that. 

So ultimately my inner conflict is this: am I wrong for telling her she needs to tone it down a bit? The problem with being honest, in this particular scenario, is that I might then get the "you're too controlling" card thrown at me. If I conceal it, which is what I've been doing, I then create distance and conflict between us. It's like I can't win. As much as I'd love to be the guy that is fine with my wife wearing whatever she WANTS that's not who I am. Am I wrong for telling her I'm uncomfortable with what she's wearing right before she goes out? That's of course the first question I get after she puts on a dress. Part of me says being honest is the best route to take no matter what the outcome is. The other part of me says to keep my mouth shut, put on a fake smile, tell her she looks great and let her wear what she wants to wear if that equates to her being happy.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

My husband is like you, very conservative and protective of me.
The reality is, spouses do have some control over each other, in less overt ways than your wife may complain about.
I used to dress very provacatively when my husband and I were dating. He did not like me running about with my cleavage bouncing and skirts under my bum. He still does not like it.
You know what? It's not worth fighting over and getting into a power struggle. Mr.G is just not comfortable with men oggling his wife or seeing what is only meant for him to see. It is a simple compromise.
I tell him what colors to wear and I choose his cologne, on the rare occasions he wears some just for me. He also grows beards periodically, just because his wife thinks it's sexy. We both bend to make each other happy. That's what marriage is all about.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

My husband and I have this exact problem but he has no problem vocalizing it to me and it does cause problems and he does get the...you're too controlling lecture from me.

I love fashion, or what I think of as fashion as the truth be told...I'm really not very fashionable if you were to compare it to the norm. It's an expression of who I am and I really, really enjoy it. I also enjoy getting things on the cheap and mix matching to create what I like.

I understand where you're coming from here but I also think that fashion is a part of self expression for women (whatever it is that their fashion might be) and it also connects directly to our sense of value. In other words, if we think we look good then we feel good.

I don't feel that women should be or could possibly be responsible for the reactions their styles create unless your wife is walking out of the house looking like a hooker.

What I'm suggesting is that you embrace that you have a wife that cares about how she looks and, unless she looks like a hooker or has an affair with every man who offers her a number, you embrace her appearance as a gift to you rather than a burden.


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## troy (Jan 30, 2011)

Let her know how you feel in a nice way. If she disagrees, that is the end of the discussion. Put it behind you, tell her you love her and how sexy she looks and she can dress how she chooses; and mean it when you say it.

The point is this: she will know exactly how you feel, and if she chooses not to dress the way you prefer, she will know it will NOT be a problem with you. However, in the back of her mind she know what you like, and when she wants to make you feel good about how she looks she will know how to dress. 

Bottom line is its her choice and dont make it an issue in your marriage.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Man, that is your wife, you care about her feelings and so she has to care about your feelings. Never let something bothering you to be afraid of throwing some cards to you. 
Sometimes women will through the card to test how firm/ how powerfull man you are. Women test men concisely and unconsicely all the time. Stay strong and let your woman make you feel good by telling her calmly that you are not confotable with the type of clothes she wears.

Personally a married woman to wear provocatively is not acceptable. My wife is beautiful, attractive, hot and sexy. She wears decent beautiful sexy clothes which does not reveal cleavage nor too mini skirt.

She knows what I want and we make each other happy, we satisfy each other feelings. 

Tell her calmly and never change your choice and get hurt everyday for no apparent reason. She might look for attention or even for some dudes as you said she is going out alone provocatively


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

My SO has expressed to me that he prefers I don't wear anything really short and try and wear less revealing things when hes not around. I have no problem with that. I want him to feel comfortable with what I do.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Trenton said:


> My husband and I have this exact problem but he has no problem vocalizing it to me and it does cause problems and he does get the...you're too controlling lecture from me.
> 
> I love fashion, or what I think of as fashion as the truth be told...I'm really not very fashionable if you were to compare it to the norm. It's an expression of who I am and I really, really enjoy it. I also enjoy getting things on the cheap and mix matching to create what I like.
> .


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Most women who will throw card and act defensive by their husbands telling them calmly to consider their feelings and make them happy by not wearing provocatively are:
1. In a bad relationship and not happy. looking for attention and arent respecting their husbands.
2. Drama queens who wants to make their men jealous
3. Looking for an affair.

Trenton you said



Trenton said:


> My husband and I have this exact problem but he has no problem vocalizing it to me and it does cause problems and he does get the...you're too controlling lecture from me.
> .



you then justified by saying


Trenton said:


> I love fashion, or what I think of as fashion as the truth be told...I'm really not very fashionable if you were to compare it to the norm. It's an expression of who I am and I really, really enjoy it. I also enjoy getting things on the cheap and mix matching to create what I like.
> .


Trenton, have you forgotten that you are in a bad relationship? I could even read from the "non sexual touch is critical" post.

That is why you do wear provocatively and do not care about your husband.

Let this guy do what he has to do and take an action to make his relationship better!


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

It's not always abot dressing to attract, it is sometimes just about making yourself feel good. if you don't have too many reasons in a week to dress up, you jump on a chance to. You have to know which it is. Sure, she MAY be dressing to impress, but chances are she is just loving the chance to where what makes her feel good when she looks in the mirror. 

It's doesn't hurt if it turns men's heads. Hell, who doesn't want to be flattered by that! What matters is if HER head is turning. Had this convo with my SO recently and told him, what I wear is first off for me to feel good, second a good show for him and if it turns a man's head, well, it give him a chance to pump up his chest because HE is the man who has me, and HIS is the bed I will go home to.

Turned out he was less afraid of men looking and more afraid that because I am more apt to dress up lately, that I am no longer the girl who likes to play in the mud HAHA I had to explain that YES I still love dirt, it does not mean I am gonna dress for dirt when i am going out to dinner on a date HAHA (he still dresses for dirt pretty much anywhere we go, but I am cool with that  I am still going to go home with him )


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Oh, and boys... if it is being done to make you jealous, there is a reason.... You all get way too comfy too quick, and you forget to make us feel desired  You ALL act WAY different when you think there is a threat, and THAT is what a woman kinda likes. Sometimes a man needs to THINK there is a little competition to start acting like they need to. Maybe she is looking for you to do something to show that you desire her, and that you will do more than just expect her to be yours, but to earn it just a little 

And no, it's not a bad thing at all. We all get too comfy and need a reminder that things need to be maintained once in a while.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Woodstock

I agree with you half way. If she dressed a LITTLE bit provocatively thats cool and as long as she goes out with the husband.

If she goes out alone and dresses provocatively that is unacceptable!

there are also costumes, sexy lingerie, miniskits that she can wear at home that her husband obnly can see and in turn makes her feel sexy and good! 

NOT PUBLICLY


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I also want to say that I agree with wood stock. husbands shouldn't forget to give their wives attention and let them know they think they are sexy. 

Also it sounds like the OP has an issue with what his wife wears when she is with him, but he didn't describe what she was wearing? Maybe he could share a link to something simaler?

I all ways like to look nice and dress well, wear a bit of (natural looking) make up, and wear nice shoes. I won't stop dressing nicely but would all ways keep in mind what my SO wants and likes. I think we both owe it to each other to make each other comfortable.

However the OP may be being really OTT and wanting is wife to wear a sack, he needs to give more info really.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

woodstock said:


> You ALL act WAY different when you think there is a threat, and THAT is what a woman kinda likes. Sometimes a man needs to THINK there is a little competition to start acting like they need to. Maybe she is looking for you to do something to show that you desire her, and that you will do more than just expect her to be yours, but to earn it just a little
> 
> And no, it's not a bad thing at all. We all get too comfy and need a reminder that things need to be maintained once in a while.


This is called woman TEST and a drama if is done intentionaly for some reason. But I guarantee is not a good way to solve a problem. Drama queen have never succeeded to past theit test for ME  Luckily I have sexy, attreactive, beautiful, inteligent woman with NO Drama. I selected WISELY


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Women dress provocatively to make themselves feel good. But it's not the clothing itself that makes them feel good. It's the attention they get from men that makes her feel good. This attention can be subtle, body language, facial expressions, non sexual touches and harmless conversation all the way to overt sexual flirting. It makes her feel good to be noticed because by being noticed she feels special, unique, pretty.

So your first course of business is for you, her man, to give her all the feelings that she is getting by dressing provocatively. The needs she has are so powerful that you will not be able to simply talk her out of dressing this way. She needs to have the feelings she gets from it and you have to give them to her. She wants you to be the one to give it to her.

Regarding a conversation about getting her to stop.... You have to be very careful with this. While she may throw out the word controlling or something similar, what she is feeling is that her man is threatened by other men and therefore her man is weaker and less manly than other men. So, unless you feel that your wife is cheating or about to cheat, I would leave it alone until you feel you have adequately met the needs she is longing for. Once you do this, you then say "Wife, I don't believe married women should wear X, Y, Z types of clothing". You express your opinion, and let her come to make the choice.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

To HICKS

Hicks, does your wife wears clothes that shows her wide open cleavage with miniskirt just below her butt while going out with her friends?
do you ginuwine and honestly like it and support it?

I know being jealous freak and insecure is NOT cool but not in this case. In this case you are showing that you are man enough to care about your feeling and want to be respected as always should be. You stand out for them as well as being protective and not become a doormat!!!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

AniversaryFight said:


> Most women who will throw card and act defensive by their husbands telling them calmly to consider their feelings and make them happy by not wearing provocatively are:
> 1. In a bad relationship and not happy. looking for attention and arent respecting their husbands.
> 2. Drama queens who wants to make their men jealous
> 3. Looking for an affair.
> ...


Hey, AF, I am in both a bad and a good relationship and I am annoyed by your insinuation that because I have troubles in my relationship, my advice should be discarded. Convenient for your argument but not necessarily in the OP's best interest.

Perhaps your numbers 1, 2, and 3 are as ignorant as your view that a relationship can be purely bad or purely good and my reason given is not a justification but rather an actual reason. Fashion can be a hobby for women, a form of self expression and enjoyment.

If a woman doesn't care about it and has no issues conceding to her husband, this is fine, but if it is important to her then he should tread more lightly.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Trenton
Yes, Fashion can be a hobby for women, a form of self expression and enjoyment.

But NOT dressing provocatively with open wide cleavage with miniskirt just below the butt for married women!!!. THAT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE 
is only done by women with own agenda!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I do also agree with Syrum here. The OP doesn't really define sexy so we have no idea if what his wife is wearing is mini skirts and cleavage shirts or nice dresses that reveal her arms. A link to an outfit she would wear out would be a great way to figure out if it's too sexy or not.

Too sexy? It's my latest purchase and I can't wait to wear it with my new black t-strap mary janes and purple stockings 

Of course, I plan on wearing it out with the husband and not out on the town with the friends but if an occasion came up I wouldn't hesitate wearing it.

Come on now though...I also wear Uggs and jeans. Need I say more?


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

AniversaryFight said:


> Trenton
> Yes, Fashion can be a hobby for women, a form of self expression and enjoyment.
> 
> But NOT dressing provocatively with open wide cleavage with miniskirt just below the butt for married women!!!. THAT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE
> is only done by women with own agenda!


That's great but you need to stop jumping to conclusions and showing blind support because you have no idea what the OP's wife wears and I believe you also have no idea what I wear. You're siding with him without even knowing whether his fears and feelings are a result of jealousy or reasonable reactions to his wife's sex hunting.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Is that a provocative dress? I guess that is just normal dress. Well that can be wore without a husband....

In the case of OP not mention the type of provocative dress then do not support her wife when you do not t´know the type she wears well. You could the ask him before supporting his wife. I might guess that OP's wife is wearing far more than that regular dress you just posted.
in my my quotes on this thread, I have give the example of the typle like "open wide cleavage with miniskirt just below the butt". that is totally unacceptable


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Trenton said:


> That's great but you need to stop jumping to conclusions and showing blind support because you have no idea what the OP's wife wears and I believe you also have no idea what I wear. You're siding with him without even knowing whether his fears and feelings are a result of jealousy or reasonable reactions to his wife's sex hunting.


You should also not jump into conclusion to support his wife either..!!!

and what you wear I will laugh till tomorrow if the dress you posted you call it provocatively and that is the type you argue with your husband.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I, unlike you did with the husband, did not blindly support his wife. I explained what goes on in my own relationship and offered that it might be the same for his wife.

If you don't feel that the dress I posted is too provocative then I'm totally in the clear on your radar so give me a break.

Now if a man tries to give me his number at an event or while I'm at the gas station getting gas, am I still at fault as you've man approved my dress as not being too provocative?

It's a fine line and both people in the relationship have to have a voice and feel heard/recognized. Sometimes we really do have emotions that are unfair or unrealistic. I know I do. So it's best to figure out why they're there and if they're well founded or insecurities.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Pandakiss...You rock!!!


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

AniversaryFight said:


> To HICKS
> 
> Hicks, does your wife wears clothes that shows her wide open cleavage with miniskirt just below her butt while going out with her friends?
> do you ginuwine and honestly like it and support it?


No, because she has her need for male attention met by me. when my wife does dress the way I like, she hears from me how incredible, sexy and wonderful she looks.



AniversaryFight said:


> I know being jealous freak and insecure is NOT cool but not in this case. In this case you are showing that you are man enough to care about your feeling and want to be respected as always should be. You stand out for them as well as being protective and not become a doormat!!!


Which is why he has to state his opinion on the issue, depersonalize it, and let her come to the proper conclusion in order to avoid looking weak, jealous and controlling.


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Trenton said:


> Now if a man tries to give me his number at an event or while I'm at the gas station getting gas, am I still at fault as you've man approved my dress as not being too provocative?
> .


A joke:
so you've bought your dress thinking is too provovative in order to go to an even or gas station to collect men's number? :lol:

I mean amarried woman collecting numbers, for what reason, to talka bout weather and how gast station are sometimes expensive?:lol:

by the way, that is so regular dress, will NOT catch many guyz attention in my opinion


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

AniversaryFight said:


> A joke:
> so you've bought your dress thinking is too provovative in order to go to an even or gas station to collect men's number? :lol:
> 
> I mean amarried woman collecting numbers, for what reason, to talka bout weather and how gast station are sometimes expensive?:lol:
> ...


Uh...chicken said what? 
:scratchhead:

heh


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Hicks said:


> No, because she has her need for male attention met by me. when my wife does dress the way I like, she hears from me how incredible, sexy and wonderful she looks.
> 
> 
> 
> Which is why he has to state his opinion on the issue, depersonalize it, and let her come to the proper conclusion in order to avoid looking weak, jealous and controlling.



Now I agree with you! 

in additional to that he has to state his opinion and be bold to stand for it, since her wife might come with some lines to make him feel insecure and therefore I want to tell him those lines are just TEST lines and he has to pass those TESTS by being firm to his needs and feelings being met. 

In my opinion, the best wayt to tell her for the message to be reached clearly is that.., he should sat her down, calmly with serious tone to tell her she loves her and love her to look sexy BUT her provocative outfits are unacceptable for a married woman publicly and he feel disrespected for her wearing those outfits. Whatever her wife gonna say to make him feel stupid he should not buy it! He should still stand on his ground and tell her that HE deserve to be respected and he will not accept any disrespect behaviour!


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Trenton said:


> Uh...chicken said what?
> :scratchhead:
> 
> heh


Message sent!
and No wonder............ Enuff said!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

If you were trying to send me the message that you have no idea what you're talking about, make little sense, find women and their sexuality threatening, and are a pig of a man. It did indeed work. Kudos!


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## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Pandakiss said:


> thanks....


You are welcome Pandakiss


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Ok, my man has tried to tell me what i can and can't wear. I NEVER get to go out, with or without him. So, when I get the chance to dress up I certainly do. It is not for the attention of a man. Hell I get that just by wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Sometimes a gal just wants to doll herself up!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

That's fashion though. You can take that simple yet elegant, form hugging dress and turn it into anything you like. I love that!

This is the style I'm fond of. It's sort of Indie maybe? I like mix'ing and matching but unlike men, I don't find butt revealing mini's or boob exposing tops the norm for sexy. I think it's in the attitude and how the woman (or man) feels in his clothes.










For the purpose of this thread, let's face it, we don't know how the OP's wife dresses and until we know that there's really no way to figure out if it's "too sexy" and done only to get attention.

Like stumblealong, I've gotten attention in jeans & Uggs with a t-shirt as most women do and so it's not as if wearing certain clothes will take you away from the eyes of other men anyway.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

darcy411 said:


> ..the way she dresses when she goes out (i.e. bar, family events, etc.).
> 
> To give a broad example she's going out to a party this weekend, without me, and purchased a new dress to wear. In my opinion I feel this is the type of dress that's designed to draw male attention,the type of dress that a woman wears when trying to meet someone.


Those two statements say more about this problem than anything else that's been mentioned in this (hijacked) thread. There's a difference between wanting to look attractive when you go out and wanting to attract male attention. When she goes out dressed like this without you, she draws A LOT of male attention. And this isn't the third grade dance where the boys and girls just look at each other from opposite sides of the room. She has A LOT of interaction with strange men when she's out without you. I'm afraid to say that is the reason she dresses like this.

When you talk to her, ask her how much male attention does this draw? How does she respond? How well does she get to know these men? Does she hang out with them for a long time? Dance with them? Does it get kind of flirty or are they talking world events? Ever exchange phone numbers? Hugs at the end of the night? Are these men coming on to her? How does she react? And sorry, a wedding ring is a net negative for you here. A non factor at best. Point that out when she's using it as a defense.

I'm thinking she likes to party with men. There is no way she goes to bars and parties without you and is not interacting with men 75% of the time.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

You do know that women primarily dress for other women, right?

Women who dress to emphasize a particular body feature or provactively do it for THEMSELVES, mostly - it makes them feel good about themselves - if they get attention also - then that's a plus too. What's wrong with that?

I tend to dress in fashion and to emphasize those parts of me that look good. I get a lot more attention from women than I do men. Men don't comment on my shoes, or the cute skirt I wore yesterday - it's women doing the commenting.

Do I probably get looks from men too? Probably - but who really gives a damn.

At 50 years old I'll take ANY looks I can get - husband be damned.

You have to be secure in your spouse and their love and it won't threaten you.

Even when I was young and hot - my husband never had a reason to be insecure about how I dressed - I dressed and still dress the way I want to - just like he does.

Regard - yes

Control - no

If she looked good when you got her, then who are you to say she has to change now?


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

MrK said:


> Those two statements say more about this problem than anything else that's been mentioned in this (hijacked) thread. There's a difference between wanting to look attractive when you go out and wanting to attract male attention. When she goes out dressed like this without you, she draws A LOT of male attention. And this isn't the third grade dance where the boys and girls just look at each other from opposite sides of the room. She has A LOT of interaction with strange men when she's out without you. I'm afraid to say that is the reason she dresses like this.
> 
> When you talk to her, ask her how much male attention does this draw? How does she respond? How well does she get to know these men? Does she hang out with them for a long time? Dance with them? Does it get kind of flirty or are they talking world events? Ever exchange phone numbers? Hugs at the end of the night? Are these men coming on to her? How does she react? And sorry, a wedding ring is a net negative for you here. A non factor at best. Point that out when she's using it as a defense.
> 
> I'm thinking she likes to party with men. There is no way she goes to bars and parties without you and is not interacting with men 75% of the time.


I'd be less concerned about how she's dressing and more concerned about why she is going to bars and parties without her husband?

Think your focus is on the wrong thing!


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> this dress is cute...it needs some arm bands/necklaces from hottopic with spikes and locks...it needs some fishnets, and some sky high platform shoes in red...


Cute - but demure, even by my standards.

A little tighter and a little more low-cut (hey, I have the BOOBS) and I'd go for it!


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

I dress to go out no matter who I go out with.. friends or SO. the fact of the matter is.. I have NEVER and WILL NEVER give any SO any reason not to trust ME. I am not going out looking like a hooker, but I might turn heads and I might smile, but everyone will know I am going home TO someone.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

AniversaryFight said:


> This is called woman TEST and a drama if is done intentionaly for some reason. But I guarantee is not a good way to solve a problem. Drama queen have never succeeded to past theit test for ME  Luckily I have sexy, attreactive, beautiful, inteligent woman with NO Drama. I selected WISELY


What drama? Getting a guy to realize you look good and other men might think so is not drama, its fact!!!! If guys are not reminded of that they get too comfy. How else would you get them to notice. Sure it's a game but everything about a relationship, love, all of it is a game on some level. I am not talking about being cruel, or ACTING in a way with other men to get your man to notice, but every man and woman should see people looking at their SO... it keeps things fresh and reminds you of what you have and that it should be appreciated.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Clearly it's not the clothes he objects to it's how he perceives her behavior and the behavior of others when she's dressed that way. She could be in a burqa and if she's dry humping everyone in the restaurant, it's what's wrong. Conversely she could be dressed in a spandex microskirt and no panties, doesn't mean she has to wink at every and flirt like a she-devil either.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Clearly it's not the clothes he objects to it's how he perceives her behavior and the behavior of others when she's dressed that way. She could be in a burqa and if she's dry humping everyone in the restaurant, it's what's wrong. Conversely she could be dressed in a spandex microskirt and no panties, doesn't mean she has to wink at every and flirt like a she-devil either.


I apparently am a natural flirt, but men usually get over that pretty quickly when they realize the difference between my natural behavior and when i flirt on purpose (BIG difference). I do have to let people know from time to time that no, I am not interested and this is just the way I am, but I DO do that and so my SO is not bothered. He knows I only have eyes for him, and my real flirting is all for him.

I also get into trouble from being a bit of a guy's girl when i am out, but again, I will always make it more than clear that I am taken. 

It always depends on the person. Yes my SO is currently unsure what to do with my new heels (he hadn't seen me in them since i had badly busted an ankle a year before we hooked up and it took me a long time to work up the guts to wear them again LOL) But I will just keep reassuring him that I may turn heads, but it is MY head he should worry about and that is always aimed at him, or thinking of him if he is not there.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

I have the opposite problem. My DW is built to love but she dresses like a nun. I'd like to see her wear something sexy out just to make everyone jealous cause their not getting any. But her going out to a party alone is going to give me some heartburn. I would hope that the OP's W would make an extra effort to reassure him about going out alone regardless of what she wears
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

woodstock said:


> I apparently am a natural flirt,


I see a future in pharmaceutical sales.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> I see a future in pharmaceutical sales.


I spit my soda on my shirt laughing at this!


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

I a *NOT* judging but from what I see ma just be your own insecurities speaking against her confidnce... question, do you trust her outside of what she wears?... believe me, if she wants to get down, she do not have t dress for it....

Now if you're saying she puts on a whole new persona when she wears "flirty" clothing... it may just be her mask... but it sounds a bit controlling to worry about her clothes and how people view her... if she is happy and confident in what she wears... be _her_ biggest *supporter* and _her_ biggest *fan*, and trust me you won't have to worry about trust...

just a side view... could it be double standard?... oh say a guy gets in shape... 24" biceps, chiseled abs, and puts on a muscle tee... will it mean he is going out to cheat for attention..?

:scratchhead:


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I see a future in pharmaceutical sales.


:lol::rofl: Too funny!!!!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

WadeWilson said:


> 24" biceps, chiseled abs, and puts on a muscle tee... will it mean he is going out to cheat for attention..?


Yeah, but for other men.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I agree a lot with Trenton in that lots of women do like to dress nicely for themselves and I'm one of them. I feel good about me when I look good, and sometimes I even wear fishnets.

But I have my own style, and it may be revealing to some, it depends on the person. If my SO wanted me to dress ultra conservatively I would not be happy. Also my boobs are a D cup and look big no matter what I wear, I have had comments about them in things you wouldn't even think would draw attention. 

I hope that the men saying women should be ultra conservative also do no go out ogling other women, because that would hypocritical to say the least. (Not that that is attractive in men, in fact it's creepy).

At the end of the day though, I like to feel good, and I like my fiance to be comfortable and happy and I also like to feel the same, but I don't wear things that I think are out of line with what he would like.

I also agree that it's far more about behavior, I don't think either person in a relationship should be out flirting with people, and sometimes someone will flirt with me no matter what I'm wearing, it is up to me to send a clear message that I'm taken.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> I have the opposite problem. My DW is built to love but she dresses like a nun. I'd like to see her wear something sexy out just to make everyone jealous cause their not getting any.


Quoted for truthiness. I wish I could get my wife to dress a little more provocatively a little more often just so other guys could look at me and cry.

As far as the original question goes, I think the bottom line is to find a way to communicate your concerns without drawing a line in the sand that she'll have to cross. 

This is just an idea, but perhaps you could surprise her with a shopping trip on the condition that you both get to have a say in what she wears. Maybe she could pick out 3-4 outfits that she likes, then model them for you outside of the store dressing room and give you final say. That way, she finds several things that she likes, but you get a voice in it too.


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## married&lovingit (Jan 26, 2011)

Dr. Rockstar said:


> Quoted for truthiness. I wish I could get my wife to dress a little more provocatively a little more often just so other guys could look at me and cry.
> 
> As far as the original question goes, I think the bottom line is to find a way to communicate your concerns without drawing a line in the sand that she'll have to cross.
> 
> This is just an idea, but perhaps you could surprise her with a shopping trip on the condition that you both get to have a say in what she wears. Maybe she could pick out 3-4 outfits that she likes, then model them for you outside of the store dressing room and give you final say. That way, she finds several things that she likes, but you get a voice in it too.


:lol:

I'm with Ten Year Hubby and Dr. Rockstar... in that I'd like my wife to dress a little more attractively. Specially when I'm out with her. I think that every guy wants to be seen with a head-turner, ar at least an attractive woman. But then again, I'm secure enough in our relationship and know that she will not cross any boundaries...

IMO it comes down to her self-perception. But clothes shopping with her is fun! I like to get her into the dressing room with clothes that she has selected then start bringing her clothes that I select  - Sure, she doesn't always like what I've selected (and sometimes what I've selected doesn't look good on her either), but more often than not, she likes what I picked out - she just doesn't have the 'eye' that i do when looking at clothes on a hanger...

My two cents FWIW...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

And run for cover if she starts dressing not only LIKE her mother but in her mother's own clothes. OMG just kill me or send me to Boca. Either one.


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