# My husband said our sex is boring!



## GraceG676 (Dec 16, 2015)

Shocked by what he said. All this time I've been thinking he is satisfied. We are both 24 our sex should be at the highest levels. I know that with age that decreases. But 24 really?? He blames me! but what about him we only have it one time a night and fall asleep there has not been a time where sex continues for more than once. Any comments?


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## Trippy (Dec 19, 2015)

I hope it gets better for you. I understand your frustration. My husband and I never do it more than once. He says we will, but then he falls asleep. We don't have sex every night though. I'm lucky if it's once a week. 
I suggest you ask him what he feels would make sex between the two of you better. His feeling, despite being a shock to you, is real. You two should address it and work together to get the sex life back to being satisfying for both of you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GraceG676 (Dec 16, 2015)

We don't have sex every night either. He says I don't try unless he makes a move. I get him on that and it's true but honestly I'm shy I am the type that doesn't get out of my comfort zone. And we have 2 girls honestly we never take time to be by ourselves unless they are sleeping and we are in bed.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

GraceG676 said:


> We don't have sex every night either. He says I don't try unless he makes a move. I get him on that and it's true but honestly I'm shy I am the type that doesn't get out of my comfort zone. And we have 2 girls honestly we never take time to be by ourselves unless they are sleeping and we are in bed.


Easy solution..... put them to bed at a decent hour, get a shower... shave EVERYTHING.... and walk up to him naked and invite him to bed. THIS WILL WORK.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What do YOU think? Is it boring? Do you two engage in oral? Anal? Dirty talk? Anything off limits? Any chance you've rejected him trying these kinds of things?


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## GraceG676 (Dec 16, 2015)

Oh trust me they go to bed at 8:30 every night. After that I've noticed we are into TV shows till 10-10:30. So there is time. But we both don't make the effort to turn it off and talk or sex. It's likeasy TV show after the other..


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## GraceG676 (Dec 16, 2015)

WorkingOnMe said:


> What do YOU think? Is it boring? Do you two engage in oral? Anal? Dirty talk? Anything off limits? Any chance you've rejected him trying these kinds of things?


Idk what's boring?? See every time we have sex it's the same steps it's like I know what's going to happen next.. no anal. No dirty talk oral here and there. I don't reject anything.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Does he watch a lot of porn? Does he actually do anything to make it not boring or does he want you to do all the work like the women in porn?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

He complains and expects you to fix it? He needs to accept responsibility for his own happiness. It isn't your problem that he is so unimaginative or inexperienced.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

I agree with @soccermom2three, that it sounds like his expectations are being skewed by porn.

A 24 year man with a willing same age wife, would normally be all over you. his hunger for you would fuel his imagination to keep if fresh, which in turn will spur you on. But if he's thinking that what he sees on porn videos is what normal women are like, then he would get bored with an average young wife & mom. 

Of course you also must do your part to keep it fresh but most woman have responsive desire. So if he's lacking in getting you fired up then it can spiral downward. Before you know it you're having duty sex and will be vulnerable to interlopers on the prowl.

One other thing to have looked into is low T. It seems like our western lifestyle has hit the millennial generation harder with this plague of low T. That will cause low desire physically and mentally.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

He is out of line if he just states 'boring' and doesn't say why or suggest ideas constructively.

otherwise he is an entitled so and so.

doesn't he realize what a treasure it is to make love to a woman? 
Even if she is your wife.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Especially if she is your wife.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

TV is a marriage killer. Cut back on that and go to bed earlier. At least record the stuff you like and watch it earlier another day. Push the boundaries of your comfort zone - you will BOTH benefit - being "shy" isn't a good excuse. If you want it, you have to make it happen, and he will begin to as well, most likely. Initiate some of the time - he needs to feel desired, and again, you will BOTH benefit.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

GraceG676 said:


> We don't have sex every night either. He says I don't try unless he makes a move. I get him on that and it's true but honestly I'm shy I am the type that doesn't get out of my comfort zone. And we have 2 girls honestly we never take time to be by ourselves unless they are sleeping and we are in bed.


Sounds fairly boring to me. 

Make a move once in a while yourself. Make a move at a different time like not at night. If you wake up in the middle of the night some time slide under the covers and blow him till he wakes up and climb on top. >


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

It's interesting that he blames you for his boredom and you believe him. That attitude won't sustain a mutually satisfying and exciting sexual relationship over the long run. People who are bored are usually boring. 

Does he satisfy you? Neither of you are responsible for entertaining each other sexually or providing sexual services. You are both responsible for making a mutually satisfying and exciting sex life. It is ongoing factor in a marriage and so important that it needs effort from two people.

This is a delicate time in your marriage and the way you both handle this will effect the future. Don't start doing sacrificial things to please him sexually at the expense of yourself. This is a common suggestion and full of pitfalls. You love your husband and you want to please him. Even so, being the one responsible for holding sexual boredom at bay is likely to take a toll. Feeling used, resentment and then disinterest. 

Let him know you take this seriously and that you are as willing to work with him on your sex life. Emphasize the words we and us with him. It is good that he is communicating with you but unreasonable for him to think that your role is to relieve his sexual boredom. You are part of a team so his problem is your problem and the solution should suit both of you.


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