# Would you consider this a vanilla sex life?



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, that our sex life has been going into a rut. One thing that triggered me to start this thread was a comment I saw in the # of sex partners thread on General - specifically the comment "Oral sex and swallowing seems rather tame to me. Most women do this regularly". I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to grab the comment(s) and quoting them directly. I'll admit that the comments I quoted above hit a little too close to home for me. 


*PIV:* We do a variety of positions that include missionary, spooning, doggie, on her stomach, laying on bed while I'm standing, bent over the bed, and her on top (though that's been getting more rare). Also, occasional variations.
*ORAL:* Pretty rare for this to happen. When it does, it's only during foreplay and if lucky for over a minute. She doesn't like it anymore to receive it. On very rare occasions, she's so turned on that she wants to 69.
*ANAL:* Used to be more common, but haven't done this with her going on 2 or 3 months.
*Breast play:* More so than not, they're too sensitive but when I'm allowed to touch them she gets really turned on.
*Making out/foreplay:* Generally good and we do this everytime before having PIV. Always into kissing and will run her hands all over me when we're making out.
*Wish she'd do but no longer happens: * Used to shave, but won't anymore. For a short while, she'd wear a thong for me on occasion but that doesn't happen anymore. Lingerie was never part of our bedroom fun.
*Things that we don't do or crave:* Bondage, S&M, golden showers, scat, threesomes, swing, hotwife, cuckolding
*Used to do, but no desire for anymore:* Sex in cars, sex in parks, sex in bathrooms, etc... Neither have an interest in doing that anymore (to my knowledge at least).

Overall synopsis is that we do will with foreplay when it comes to kissing and touching, and she's pretty open to doing almost any PIV position if it's physically possible. But I'm disappointed that we don't engage in more oral sex and that she doesn't shave for me once in awhile or won't wear any sexy outfits/thongs to bed during our times of intimacy.

I'm feeling rather short changed at the moment.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Its not like your just stuck with missinary so you have that going for you....some poor guys are.

So not vanilla ......but that shaving business and thong thing has to change IMHO.

I mention the thong thing cuz me and the old lady are empty nesters so she walks around the house in a thong.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Guy, I envy you in that you have a house free from kids. We have 3 still under roof, which can put a crimp in our activities. I couldn't imagine whipping out a vibrator only to have a kid knock on the door to ask us what the buzzing sound is.

It hasn't been for a lack of trying to get her to wear a thong to bed or to shave for me again. I don't push hard nor beg, but will bring the issues up on occasion to see if I could nudge her over the edge to do some of this again. 

Maybe I'm not having vanilla sex, but it feels more like vanilla and chocolate chips. I'd like to push for more mint chocolate chip and hope to get into mocha chocolate fudge swirl to continue the ice cream analogies.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Plan, I get what you're saying, but one thing I have learned from hanging around here as long as I have...be careful. It's really easy to get caught up in what others have that you feel you want, and overlook exactly what you do have.

That said, my wife and I by many standards have a pretty vanilla sex life as well. 95% of the time, it's in the bed even though we have no kids at home either, we have four or five PIV positions that we go to, oral is regular for us, but we have found what we are really really good at, and will occasionally throw in something different just because the mood strikes us...pulling off on a country road and bending her over the hood of the car...that sort of thing, but all in all, we are pretty tame by many standards...I would still put the passion and energy of what we have up against the hottest any day.

The shaving and thong thing...not sure what to say about that one. My wife doesn't own anything but thongs and g-strings so while it's freaking awesome on a daily basis, there isn't a possibility of the excitement and anticipation that today is the day she's wearing one...though I do get the occasional commando in a dress text while I'm at work...


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

plan a surprise trip with her to hedonism II. THAT should shake things up!


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Plan, I get what you're saying, but one thing I have learned from hanging around here as long as I have...be careful. It's really easy to get caught up in what others have that you feel you want, and overlook exactly what you do have.
> 
> That said, my wife and I by many standards have a pretty vanilla sex life as well. 95% of the time, it's in the bed even though we have no kids at home either, we have four or five PIV positions that we go to, oral is regular for us, but we have found what we are really really good at, and will occasionally throw in something different just because the mood strikes us...pulling off on a country road and bending her over the hood of the car...that sort of thing, but all in all, we are pretty tame by many standards...I would still put the passion and energy of what we have up against the hottest any day.
> 
> The shaving and thong thing...not sure what to say about that one. My wife doesn't own anything but thongs and g-strings so while it's freaking awesome on a daily basis, there isn't a possibility of the excitement and anticipation that today is the day she's wearing one...though I do get the occasional commando in a dress text while I'm at work...


I know, I get it. We have passion, but not all the time. However, we both feel connected even if the passion is not as high. My wife ALWAYS wears the full sized panties. Hell, I got excited over her buying full sized PINK and BLUE panties...


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Plan,

Do you shower just before sex? 

I have this very thorough shower routine - leaves me completely clean smelling fresh. 

Oral is part of or all of our routine 95% of the time. 





Plan 9 from OS said:


> I've been thinking about this a lot lately, that our sex life has been going into a rut. One thing that triggered me to start this thread was a comment I saw in the # of sex partners thread on General - specifically the comment "Oral sex and swallowing seems rather tame to me. Most women do this regularly". I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to grab the comment(s) and quoting them directly. I'll admit that the comments I quoted above hit a little too close to home for me.
> 
> 
> *PIV:* We do a variety of positions that include missionary, spooning, doggie, on her stomach, laying on bed while I'm standing, bent over the bed, and her on top (though that's been getting more rare). Also, occasional variations.
> ...


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I know, I get it. We have passion, but not all the time. However, we both feel connected even if the passion is not as high. My wife ALWAYS wears the full sized panties. Hell, I got excited over her buying full sized PINK and BLUE panties...


You can always get a pair of scissors and make thongs.....I don't recommend this unless you don't mind walking around with a pair of scissor sticking out of your head.:lol:


----------



## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

How old are you guys?

Your sex life in five or ten years might look a lot different than what it looks like now--in a good way. 

If someone told me when I was 35 that my sex life at 45 would be what it is now, I probably would have laughed my head off.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I agree that you should be careful not to spend too much time worrying about what you don't have. 

Have you offered to shave her? Maybe a massage and shave?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

MEM11363 said:


> Plan,
> 
> Do you shower just before sex?
> 
> ...


Typically yes.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Lila said:


> Plan,
> 
> Please make sure that you are comparing apples to apples.
> 
> ...


I never thought of my sex life as being prolific tbh. I think what gets me is that we used to have more variety but now it's not so much.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

GettingIt said:


> How old are you guys?
> 
> Your sex life in five or ten years might look a lot different than what it looks like now--in a good way.
> 
> If someone told me when I was 35 that my sex life at 45 would be what it is now, I probably would have laughed my head off.


We're 40 and 41. I married an older woman.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> I agree that you should be careful not to spend too much time worrying about what you don't have.
> 
> Have you offered to shave her? Maybe a massage and shave?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep. Offered to shave her and to rub her whole body down with coconut oil. Her complaint is that it catches on her undies even it grows back in plus she likes the feel of hair on hair when we're coupled.


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

These days its *not* shaving that's kinky and fetish.

Shaving is as vanilla as vanilla can be.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

always_alone said:


> These days its *not* shaving that's kinky and fetish.
> 
> Shaving is as vanilla as vanilla can be.


I won't disagree, but I think you'll find plenty of women who won't do it. But I'm guessing this to be true.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> If you want MORE, but just don't know how to make the sparks fly, it sounds as if you are a kid in a candy store trying to put every possible topping on your ice cream, but yet still wanting to try more or remember a wild combo you made a while back.
> 
> This sounds counter intuitive, but sometimes less is more. Sometimes less can be WAY MORE if you do it right.
> 
> Try this, no PIV, HJ, masturbation, porn, or orgasms for a week for you, while each night you give her a back rub, oral (if she desires), toys (if she desires), and as many orgasms as she wants. Then after a week, have simple motionless missionary PIV and see how log you can hold out. She will likely respond very well to watching you explode and feeling a little more connected. And this is just one example of how less can be more.


We will have plenty of passionate experiences. I get your point about quality vs quantity. We've explored the missionary position the past few months to make it more varied and fun. But you know, it would be sweet to do 69 or have an oral only session once in awhile too.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Guy, I envy you in that you have a house free from kids. We have 3 still under roof, which can put a crimp in our activities. I couldn't imagine whipping out a vibrator only to have a kid knock on the door to ask us what the buzzing sound is.


If your child is old enough to knock AND to speak to you, then they are old enough to leave you the hell alone in the bedroom.

My two cents.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Vanilla sex means non-BDSM sex. It is simply regular sex. It is not equivalent of boring or missionary sex life. Vanilla can be mind blowing too.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

always_alone said:


> These days its *not* shaving that's kinky and fetish.
> 
> Shaving is as vanilla as vanilla can be.


Ha!


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

WandaJ said:


> Vanilla sex means non-BDSM sex. It is simply regular sex. It is not equivalent of boring or missionary sex life. Vanilla can be mind blowing too.


Then perhaps I'm more vanilla than I think I am. I don't think I'm old, but I'd think the determining factor for whether a sexual relationship is vanilla or non-vanilla sex is dependent more upon variety than how exotic the acts are. That's why in my opinion I see variety with the PIV portion of my sex life, but there isn't any variety once you get away from PIV. 

If someone had a sex life that was composed of the 3 - 5 various PIV positions, regular 69, regular oral and occasional anal for sexual acts plus a little role play, occasional bald beaver and occasional use of thongs/nighties/lingerie - that would be a nice variety of acts that I could be quite happy with. I would not consider that vanilla. Granted, the only real "exotic" act would be anal - and that's losing the taboo nature in today's world. Variety, yes. Exotic, no. More than just vanilla? To me it would be.

ETA that I'm not trying to argue or change your opinion. I can accept it if you think my sex life is vanilla. One of the reasons why I wanted to get views on my situation. Right now I think I have a vanilla sex life. I'm not saying it lacks passion and the wife has never been a starfish or corpse during sex, but IMHO I don't see a lot of variation in what we do either.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

NobodySpecial said:


> If your child is old enough to knock AND to speak to you, then they are old enough to leave you the hell alone in the bedroom.
> 
> My two cents.


I agree. I've talked to them about it, but honestly it's not always possible. Kids may need help with homework, want to talk about something important, get into a major fight or just run around like fools and distract you no matter how hard you may try to tune them out. Maybe a 'do not disturb' sign should be used on the door to tell them it's mom and dad time, but that would mortify my wife. And, I don't think I'd get away with telling my kids to not disturb us if I put a sock on the doorknob. It would get back to my wife that I did something like that and cause her embarrassment. Not worth doing it that way.


----------



## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Plan 9,

If it's not all that you'd like, you need to tell your wife about it let her know that it's important. 

What other people are doing is only important from the "I thought I was the only pervert that wanted that" standpoint.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Buddy400 said:


> Plan 9,
> 
> If it's not all that you'd like, you need to tell your wife about it let her know that it's important.
> 
> What other people are doing is only important from the "I thought I was the only pervert that wanted that" standpoint.


:iagree:


and had a laugh at the stand point too.

You want it to be slightly different... so what are you doing differently? I don't know if this helps but my husband will on occasion say to me, as we're getting sexy, _Go put your heels on_ or he's simply brought the heels out and given me the look. The way he does this is sexy and playful. I've used heels as an example but maybe you could request your wife wear a thong in a similar way? 

I've decided it's pointless to box in a sex-life or certain turn ons as vanilla or otherwise. Mostly because it just makes me crave ice-cream. The wonderful thing about vanilla ice-cream is that it can be smooth and tasty all by itself or be a delicious base to carry a range of additional flavors. mmm ice-cream.


----------



## sunhunter (Sep 4, 2013)

I get the don't shaving part. It's just something that you like, but your partner doesn't want to do that anymore. You feel like you're not her priority anymore, she doesn't go the last mile anymore to make you happy. The same with wearing a thong. 

Although your seks life is still pretty good, you feel like you are willing to go that extra mile for her and she doesn't. 

It's a sign on the wall and a red flag for frustration to start crawling in. 

So be aware of it and talk to your wife about your feelings.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Hi Plan 9,

As some sort of compromise, have you suggested you would enjoy it if your wife shaves for summer and spring and let's it go over winter and autumn?

As to having a note on the door, it works for us with post it notes saying STOP! Do not open the door! Unfortunately as the kids have gotten older we can no longer wait till they're in bed all of the time. Otherwise through fatigue we wouldn't end up having enough sex.


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> *PIV:* We do a variety of positions that include missionary, spooning, doggie, on her stomach, laying on bed while I'm standing, bent over the bed, and her on top (though that's been getting more rare). Also, occasional variations.
> *ORAL:* Pretty rare for this to happen. When it does, it's only during foreplay and if lucky for over a minute. She doesn't like it anymore to receive it. On very rare occasions, she's so turned on that she wants to 69.
> *ANAL:* Used to be more common, but haven't done this with her going on 2 or 3 months.
> *Breast play:* More so than not, they're too sensitive but when I'm allowed to touch them she gets really turned on.
> ...


By the very definition of it, this is not vanilla sex, but it's also very much in the eye of the beholder.

To me, vanilla sex is what you have when it's more or less the same every time. It's always in bed, the foreplay is always the same, it's the same one or two (maybe three) positions, and it's about the same amount of time. Throw in the same day(s) of the week every time, and it adds to the "vanilla-ness" of it. (this is where I'm at right now. Same day of the week, same place, same 2 positions, about the same amount of time.)

You've said that there are a variety of positions, sometimes oral, sometimes anal (!!!!), and several times a week (!!!!).

It sounds to me like it's starting to feel rather routine to you, and probably her, as well. This does not = vanilla sex, this just indicates a certain level of familiarity and non-excitement.


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> You want it to be slightly different... so what are you doing differently?


Good question! Why blame the woman?

This is like the third thread I've read in the past couple of days where the only problem is the woman isn't meeting some cookie-cutter porn standard. 

Now that's unimaginative!


----------



## OnAnIsland (Oct 3, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> If someone had a sex life that was composed of the 3 - 5 various PIV positions, regular 69, regular oral and occasional anal for sexual acts plus a little role play, occasional bald beaver and occasional use of thongs/nighties/lingerie - that would be a nice variety of acts that I could be quite happy with. I would not consider that vanilla. Granted, the only real "exotic" act would be anal - and that's losing the taboo nature in today's world. Variety, yes. Exotic, no. More than just vanilla? To me it would be.
> 
> ETA that I'm not trying to argue or change your opinion. I can accept it if you think my sex life is vanilla. One of the reasons why I wanted to get views on my situation. Right now I think I have a vanilla sex life.


The whole 'vanilla' thing is very subjective, you are correct. Perhaps you should think of yourself as having some delicious cherry vanilla, vanilla chocolate chip or even... pistachio. Sure there are other flavors in that ice cream parlor that you might like to try. You've heard or even seen others enjoying flavors you'd love to experience. What if you never get to try them?

There are some sad souls just outside with their faces pressed against the parlor window. We're beginning to forget what even vanilla tastes like. It's all perspective.

You have a wife that actively engages and explores with you. You wrote that she wants to 69 sometimes when she's really turned on. Well, do your best to get her turned on and push the envelope a little - focusing on her pleasure. I'm not knocking you for wanting more at all - best of luck. Just be careful not to focus on what you're not getting if you are regularly enjoying each other sexually. My wife used to shave completely too. I honestly don't know if she still does. Try that thought on...

Respectfully and consistently push for having your needs met and your desires fulfilled, yes. Appreciate what you do have and make that known as well. Your sex life could get a little more interesting and fun - I hope it does. It could also turn into a soul destroying nightmare. Enjoy your ice cream. Vanilla with some sprinkles, to some, would taste like heaven.


----------



## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Yep. Offered to shave her and to rub her whole body down with coconut oil. Her complaint is that it catches on her undies even it grows back in plus she likes the feel of hair on hair when we're coupled.


So shave all of yours. Throw a curveball


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

I'm just going to throw in my opinion that this doesn't qualify as vanilla in my book. In fact, to me, it sounds kinda awesome.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I'm a big fan of vanilla sex. 

my favorite flavor


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

41362 said:


> So shave all of yours. Throw a curveball


I've trimmed, but have never tried the full shave. I may give that one a try!


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

From my limited experience associated with a one-time shaving for my vasectomy, it's an all or nothing kind of problem. It doesn't take more than a day or two for things to grow back to the point of sandpaper, so once you go there, you either have to keep it mercilessly hair-less or suffer a very uncomfortable breaking in period when you let it grow back out.

I can understand why some people don't find it worth the constant effort.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

To me, any sex that doesn't involve kinks, D/s, fetishes, BDSM, threesomes, foursomes, swinging, etc., is vanilla sex. Of course there is GOOD vanilla, and bad vanilla (the latter being lack of variety, experimentation, or passion - starfish sex). Shaving and lingerie, etc., are well within vanilla, but aren't required. Anal may be approaching kink in my view, and we're not at all interested in it.

I'd say we're vanilla overall, with lots of variety and passion, etc. We've also done threesomes and swinging, and while I don't think those are vanilla, the actual sex itself was still in the vanilla realm as there were no kinks or fetishes involved.

Maybe it's vanilla on steroids? Banana split with vanilla ice cream?


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I don't think "vanilla" sex has a lick to do with positions or even variety.

One couple could be kissing and missionary only and be very satisfied.
Another could be 5-10 positions, oral, anal and toys, and be in a rut.

How "vanilla" your sex feels is down to how satisfied you are about whatever you're doing, and that mileage varies greatly by couple. 

In other news, vanilla is such a tasty flavor that I wish we'd collectively stop associating it with blandness.


----------



## ILuvTheDesserts (Aug 29, 2014)

I'll take vanilla sex any day than NO sex !?


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Everyone I have ever asked agrees that I have a very vanilla sex life, regardless of how I or the Mrs. feel about it, so it is not a completely relative term.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I don't think "vanilla" sex has a lick to do with positions or even variety.
> 
> One couple could be kissing and missionary only and be very satisfied.
> Another could be 5-10 positions, oral, anal and toys, and be in a rut.
> ...


Quantity vs Quality. I get it, and honestly we have a good percentage of quality encounters. In fact I wrote a month or 2 ago in a thread about how missionary can be extremely fulfilling due to the variations possible within this position alone. 

I don't mean to come across as someone who is looking a gift horse in the mouth or an ingrate. I know I have a relationship with my wife. But I can't help but want a little more variety. Maybe I need to think of some different approaches. We do have a fairly scheduled sex life which I take great happiness in. However, there has been a more predictable formula that we've been using lately that may be getting too routine. Maybe something as simple as doing the deed in a different room may be all I need. Maybe in the living room when the kids are upstairs or in the bathroom standing up (note, in the OP I said we no longer have sex in bathrooms. Should be edited to read no more sex in "public" restrooms. Just adding so I don't get the inevitable question about clarifying this point). 

Still holding out hope for a shave, thongs and more oral though. Sorry, I can't help that part about me. I just want more.


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

"Vanilla sex" is a term with an actual meaning. It differentiates sex that does not include kinky sex, like BDSM.

It seems people here are using the term to mean boring or routine or without variety, but that's not actually what the term means.


> Urban dictionary - Vanilla Sex: Sex that involves no twists or kinkiness, and no S&M. Basically plain regular sex. Typically sweet and happy and very lovey-dovey.





> Wikipedia - *Vanilla sex* (or *conventional sex*) is what a culture regards as standard or conventional sexual behaviour. Different cultures, subcultures and individuals have different ideas about what constitutes this type of sex. Often, it is interpreted as sex which does not involve such elements as BDSM, kink, or fetish activities.


In any case, please do not lose sight of the good sex you are having to focus on the few things you don't have. How about trying new things that you haven't done and add those to your repertoire instead of focusing on what you used to do but not so much anymore? 

Take showers together and have sex there, get a waterproof vibrator and use that in the shower or tub, you didn't mention doing oral on her...do you do that?, go out for the night or weekend and try to "pick her up" in the hotel bar, etc. 

Have fun rather than angst.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Lila, I think you have me confused with someone else - like samyeager or holland - because my wife and I are in the 3 - 5 times a week range. But I appreciate the compliments!


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

If BigBadWolf was still on this board the first thing he'd suggest is spanking her for not wearing thongs.

As for the pubic hair, her body her choice, some people just have follicles that don't agree with having the hair shaved down. A little fur, trimmed nicely, is much better than bumby, sore stubble.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

badsanta said:


> Now if you want some freaky vanilla swirl, get some FPV Fatshark goggles for you (or your wife) to wear kind of like an enhanced blindfold and mount a GoPro somewhere to catch a live-action-out-of-body experience.


That sounds incredibly erotic, and I think I'm pretty interested in doing this for my GF sometime.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

norajane said:


> "Vanilla sex" is a term with an actual meaning. It differentiates sex that does not include kinky sex, like BDSM.
> 
> It seems people here are using the term to mean boring or routine or without variety, but that's not actually what the term means.
> 
> ...


why i like vanilla sex


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

norajane said:


> Take showers together and have sex there, get a waterproof vibrator and use that in the shower or tub, *you didn't mention doing oral on her...do you do that?*, go out for the night or weekend and try to "pick her up" in the hotel bar, etc.
> 
> Have fun rather than angst.


I would gladly give her oral - I enjoyed doing that for her actually because it feels so intimate and I enjoy her scent. But after our 3rd child, she says it doesn't feel good anymore - except during the rare times when she wants to 69.


----------



## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Cletus said:


> I'm just going to throw in my opinion that this doesn't qualify as vanilla in my book. In fact, to me, it sounds kinda awesome.


:iagree:

OP, if what you describe is vanilla then I must be having broccoli.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Plan,

My take on this. 

Your wife loves you and is seriously committed to you. 

M2 has chronic vulvodynia. Neither of us likes anal. 

I miss the hell out of intense, passionate missionary. 






Plan 9 from OS said:


> I've been thinking about this a lot lately, that our sex life has been going into a rut. One thing that triggered me to start this thread was a comment I saw in the # of sex partners thread on General - specifically the comment "Oral sex and swallowing seems rather tame to me. Most women do this regularly". I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to grab the comment(s) and quoting them directly. I'll admit that the comments I quoted above hit a little too close to home for me.
> 
> 
> *PIV:* We do a variety of positions that include missionary, spooning, doggie, on her stomach, laying on bed while I'm standing, bent over the bed, and her on top (though that's been getting more rare). Also, occasional variations.
> ...


----------



## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I've been thinking about this a lot lately, that our sex life has been going into a rut. One thing that triggered me to start this thread was a comment I saw in the # of sex partners thread on General - specifically the comment "Oral sex and swallowing seems rather tame to me. Most women do this regularly". I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to grab the comment(s) and quoting them directly. I'll admit that the comments I quoted above hit a little too close to home for me.
> 
> 
> *PIV:* We do a variety of positions that include missionary, spooning, doggie, on her stomach, laying on bed while I'm standing, bent over the bed, and her on top (though that's been getting more rare). Also, occasional variations.
> ...


But one thing to remember. There are a lot of guys that would trade with you in a heart beat. Personally I think some good communication with her might change things. Look positive at this. 
Jmo


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

MEM11363 said:


> Plan,
> 
> My take on this.
> 
> ...


MEM, I never heard the term before and looked it up. I'm sorry that you're going thru that. 

Now I feel bad that I started this thread. Besides, I'm pretty sure that this will go down the same direction that my earlier thread about "technical absolutes" went down. That part didn't change despite my subtle attempts to bump it up and now I believe that I won't get anywhere else on this end either.

Regardless, the intimacy is good and is awesome a number of times on a monthly basis with good variety with PIV plus enthusiasm in most encounters. 

Once again, I'm probably at the technical absolute on this front too. I need to process this, because a part of me feels saddened to this but at the same time stupid that I feel this way too.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> MEM, I never heard the term before and looked it up. I'm sorry that you're going thru that.
> 
> Now I feel bad that I started this thread. Besides, I'm pretty sure that this will go down the same direction that my earlier thread about "technical absolutes" went down. That part didn't change despite my subtle attempts to bump it up and now I believe that I won't get anywhere else on this end either.
> 
> ...


Stop being hard on your self...go have sex with your wife.

Having sex with my old lady always cheers me up ...no matter what flavor it is.

And the next time you guys are doing it tell her to call you "Mr. Plan 9 from OS"...."giv it to me Mr. Plan 9 from OS giv it to me":rofl:

I'm think a little office sex roll playing to spice things up:lol:


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Plan,

I have this thing I say to M2 now and again. 

It isn't kind to take more from someone, than they want to give.

I truly believe that. 





Plan 9 from OS said:


> MEM, I never heard the term before and looked it up. I'm sorry that you're going thru that.
> 
> Now I feel bad that I started this thread. Besides, I'm pretty sure that this will go down the same direction that my earlier thread about "technical absolutes" went down. That part didn't change despite my subtle attempts to bump it up and now I believe that I won't get anywhere else on this end either.
> 
> ...


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

badsanta said:


> OK Plan,
> 
> BadSanta here has consulted his naughty list, and here are the instructions. Go out and buy a lock box and put something heavy in it. Place it under your side of the bed and tell your wife to stay away from it. Tell her you have developed a very embarrassing fetish and that you simply can not bring yourself to talk to her about it, and that it is best if it stays locked in the box. Give her permission to guess what is in the box! Once she guesses something you might like, run out as fast as you can and put that in the box and then the next day tell her that she guessed correct!!!


hahahah..... this would drive me crazy. 

I'd also wonder if he just stashed his chocolate chip cookies in there to keep them away from me. A cookie fetish?


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Plan 9, I don't think you ought to feel bad or anything of the sort for starting this thread. It's how you're feeling and this is how you're working it out by bouncing it off the sexy folks of TAM. I think it's better to face that you're feeling/thinking this than suppress and have it brewing beneath the surface.

You can alter your perspective, you can alter your approach, you can communicate honestly with your wife... how's she feeling about your sex life? I don't mean for you to answer that here.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I know, I get it. We have passion, but not all the time. However, we both feel connected even if the passion is not as high. My wife ALWAYS wears the full sized panties. Hell, I got excited over her buying full sized PINK and BLUE panties...


And I'm sorry, but this did give me a chuckle.

One of my friends who's very comfortable with her sexuality, loves everything around sex, has been with her spouse for a couple of years after living the single life for a long time. With a laugh, she was telling me that she noticed her underwear on the clothes line was all the same - the everyday reliable hipster cotton briefs. There wasn't a thong in sight even though she used to wear them regularly. She was imagining her spouse putting away the laundry and thinking, 'What the hell happened?' ...........this was all from her own view but she said she needed to go shopping and get some lingerie and mix it up a bit. Heck, I've been there too. Reminds me of this Best Proposal Ever (scene from High Fidelity) - YouTube

Sometimes that's the beauty of everyday married life. It's the routine, the predictability and comfort and the intimacy that can surround that, and yet that's the very thing many of us enjoy shaking up as well. 

A few of my friends won't wear thongs at all as they find them uncomfortable. I've focused on just this point but it all comes down to communicating with your wife, from a positive and hopefully playful mindset.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Why would anyone care their sexual adventerous-ness doesn't measure up to someone else's standard?


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Why would anyone care their sexual adventerous-ness doesn't measure up to someone else's standard?


Maybe cuz someone is getting phucked more then me?

And I want to know how and why!!!!!!

I mean I'm wired different then most...I guess....but I do like to phuck.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Runs like Dog said:


> Why would anyone care their sexual adventerous-ness doesn't measure up to someone else's standard?


That one is easy for those of us in sexually mismatched relationships.

If you're doing better than 98% of the rest of the world, than you have a yardstick that says that perhaps the problem is with you or your perspective. It helps to have a marker that says that you are unlikely to find someone sexually more adventurous should you put yourself on the market.

On the other hand, if you've been told that you're "out of the norm" by a sexually averse spouse but you find that this is not actually the case, that too is information that can factor into your decision making. 

Information is always useful. Finding the answer to that question was one of the things I needed to know when I first came here.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Cletus said:


> That one is easy for those of us in sexually mismatched relationships.
> 
> If you're doing better than 98% of the rest of the world, than you have a yardstick that says that perhaps the problem is with you or your perspective. It helps to have a marker that says that you are unlikely to find someone sexually more adventurous should you put yourself on the market.
> 
> ...


Ya what he said....why one isn't getting laid but others are.

Actualy OP is getting laid...and more then most.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Runs like Dog said:


> Why would anyone care their sexual adventerous-ness doesn't measure up to someone else's standard?


To answer for myself, I know what I like and I know what I feel is missing. Having said that, it's nice to come to a place to vent and ask opinions on things in your life to see how your views square up with other people's situations and to also get some input. One thing that is cool about this place is that even if I don't ask straight up for help, people are not afraid to offer their opinions on things to try to help you out.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

the guy said:


> Maybe cuz someone is getting phucked more then me?
> 
> And I want to know how and why!!!!!!
> 
> I mean I'm wired different then most...I guess....but I do like to phuck.


I think it's normal to want to know where you stand in relation to others. Since it would normally be awkward to ask the people you know IRL, it's nice to connect with others on a forum where you can solicit opinions and advice without feeling embarrassed about it.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Hi Plan 9 from OS,



Plan 9 from OS said:


> We're 40 and 41. I married an older woman.


We're 43 & 44. I married an older woman as well.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> I've been thinking about this a lot lately, that our sex life has been going into a rut. One thing that triggered me to start this thread was a comment I saw in the # of sex partners thread on General - specifically the comment "Oral sex and swallowing seems rather tame to me. Most women do this regularly". I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to grab the comment(s) and quoting them directly. I'll admit that the comments I quoted above hit a little too close to home for me.


One thing for me is that my sex life has been very varied with respect to differing partners doing differing things. Or alternatively in my longest relationship which has so far lasted over 18 years with my wife. Where what we both do and or enjoy has changed throughout our relationship. For example; although my wife has always been very willing despite having very limited experience when we started dating she was extraordinarily reluctant to talk about what we do. Yet as she has aged and incidentally remained very willing she now enjoys talking about it as well. Yet that doesn't mean there haven't been ruts along the way or will be more ruts or worse in the future.

I don't think our sexual experiences with our wives have been vastly different.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> *PIV:* We do a variety of positions that include missionary, spooning, doggie, on her stomach, laying on bed while I'm standing, bent over the bed, and her on top (though that's been getting more rare). Also, occasional variations.


So do we, yet I think along the way we now do some positions we didn't once and likewise don't do some we did.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> *ORAL:* Pretty rare for this to happen. When it does, it's only during foreplay and if lucky for over a minute. She doesn't like it anymore to receive it. On very rare occasions, she's so turned on that she wants to 69.


Although oral is significant to both of us in the giving and receiving and always occurs in some form when we play. We seldom go with a 69 since for us at least, it really isn't all that and more.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> *ANAL:* Used to be more common, but haven't done this with her going on 2 or 3 months.


This also happens quite frequently for us giving and receiving, yet we didn't start doing this together until about 9 years ago since my wife didn't want to before that. I expect at some point in the future, whether sooner or later one or both of us won't want to go there anymore.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> *Breast play:* More so than not, they're too sensitive but when I'm allowed to touch them she gets really turned on.


My wife is the same in this respect, after our second and last child together 10 years ago. Her nipples became and remain very sensitive. On occasion she really goes for intense stimulation their. Yet for most of her cycle she can't stand to be touched there anymore. Though I enjoy it all of the time, she doesn't most of the time so there are lots of times when they are hands off.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> *Making out/foreplay:* Generally good and we do this everytime before having PIV. Always into kissing and will run her hands all over me when we're making out.


I'm so glad you and your wife do this every time since it is so important to maintaining a strong connection with ones love, although on some level I think sex is a very strange act, the things we do in that act really make a big difference to us in having healthy or otherwise lives with our mates.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> *Wish she'd do but no longer happens: * Used to shave, but won't anymore. For a short while, she'd wear a thong for me on occasion but that doesn't happen anymore. Lingerie was never part of our bedroom fun.


Although my wife has always had her bikini line done during the warmer months, shaving down their is a recent phenomenon from the past two years and is not done all of the time either. I've never seen my wife wear a thong at all because she says she finds them uncomfortable, on the other hand quite recently she has been happy to go without panties while out alone with me. Likewise lingerie has also never never been part of our bedroom fun. 



Plan 9 from OS said:


> *Things that we don't do or crave:* Bondage, S&M, golden showers, scat, threesomes, swing, hotwife, cuckolding


Although we do a couple of things on that list every now and then, scat, cuckolding and hot wife stuff are hard boundaries for us, that I will never compromise on under any circumstance. One thing though regarding the kink stuff we do, it is an occasional treat and or diversion. So at the end of the day fun though it may sometimes be, I doubt my wife or i would lose any sleep if we never did it again.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> *Used to do, but no desire for anymore:* Sex in cars, sex in parks, sex in bathrooms, etc... Neither have an interest in doing that anymore (to my knowledge at least).


It's cool that you should mention such things for I have never done such things with my wife until the past couple of weeks. Whereas in my past I have done such things with quite a number of others on numerous occasions, while she has even done that kind of thing a few times with the man she was with before me. Yet until recently though we have both enjoyed such things in the past, we had both not expressed any interest in doing the same until very recently and consequently we now are after expressing such interest.

So what I'm trying to infer is just because something is no longer desired, it doesn't mean it won't happen again. Especially if your marriage is built upon all of the right things and you are both disposed towards sharing and accommodating each other.



Plan 9 from OS said:


> Overall synopsis is that we do will with foreplay when it comes to kissing and touching, and she's pretty open to doing almost any PIV position if it's physically possible. But I'm disappointed that we don't engage in more oral sex and that she doesn't shave for me once in awhile or won't wear any sexy outfits/thongs to bed during our times of intimacy.
> 
> I'm feeling rather short changed at the moment.


I think you're mostly doing okay since tweaking a few small things could really make a significant difference. That said, feeling short changed is an issue that you and your wife would do well to resolve. Apologies for not recalling and or noticing whether you have done this. I was wondering have you told you wife directly how you've been feeling about this?

I just think talking about this directly and early can makes a big difference. If your relationship is in a great or even good place, you shouldn't feel reticent about expressing any desires and or disappointments you may have.

Last Christmas my wife and I had a blip in terms of our sexual frequency, which we addressed very quickly. One of the things we did in discussing our issues and resolving them was we didn't relate sex with chores or anything else. Of course we addressed different things yet treated them as separate issues that required resolution independently. So we kept like with like and didn't blur the lines between these things. Consequently in so many ways we went from a good place to a great place.

I wish you well.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Hi Personal. Thanks for chiming in. Regarding the communication issues, I have let her know my thoughts before. I try to be upfront about it but also as tactful as I can be as well. When I was younger, I'd be more upfront but much less tactful. Basically there will be a brief period of time where she'll put oral into the foreplay for a short period of time and then it fizzles out. Shaving/thongs have been shot down directly by her the last few times I brought it up.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> MEM, I never heard the term before and looked it up. I'm sorry that you're going thru that.
> 
> Now I feel bad that I started this thread. Besides, I'm pretty sure that this will go down the same direction that my earlier thread about "technical absolutes" went down. That part didn't change despite my subtle attempts to bump it up and now I believe that I won't get anywhere else on this end either.
> 
> ...


nothing wrong with the way you feel, or even wanting more and testing the limits as long as you and your wife both on board.
I don't think you should feel bad at all. after all, marriage can be an exciting adventure and that's all you really want.

on the other hand you are already blessed.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

norajane said:


> "Vanilla sex" is a term with an actual meaning. It differentiates sex that does not include kinky sex, like BDSM.
> 
> It seems people here are using the term to mean boring or routine or without variety, but that's not actually what the term means.


No, we are not using it incorrectly. "Vanilla sex" has largely become synonymous with "boring" sex and is often used with negative connotation. You quoted urban dictionary and three of the definitions there directly use the word "boring" or imply it in the given usage example. 

Wikipedia, which you also quoted, likewise acknowledges the association by using the word "dull" in relation to the vanilla partner. 

Dull, plain, boring, "meh", all terms used in both wiki and UD entries.


----------



## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

jaquen said:


> No, we are not using it incorrectly. "Vanilla sex" has largely become synonymous with "boring" sex and is often used with negative connotation.


I never knew about the bdsm definition when I first signed on here. All I knew what that my LW had accused me of being "vanilla". I found out vanilla was being used as a synonym for boring. Since then, she has redefined her word usage. She no longer says I'm vanilla: "Because vanilla, at least, has a flavor," and I'm fairly certain she was using the term with a negative connotation.

The problem I've found with using either vanilla or boring as an element of definition is that it's entirely subjective. What one person considers boring versus the next is ultimately a matter of personal opinion. 

So, the important part of Plan 9's post to me, isn't the list or the regularity, but here:



Plan 9 from OS said:


> But I'm disappointed that we don't engage in more oral sex and that she doesn't shave for me once in awhile or won't wear any sexy outfits/thongs to bed during our times of intimacy.
> 
> I'm feeling rather short changed at the moment.


If you are currently feeling some form of disappointment or feel that things are a little boring at the moment, then substituting vanilla for boring seems perfectly reasonable. I believe that's a communication issue and something the two of you need to talk about, but I would advise not talking about it the way we did. 

Since it was my LW that was bored... she made the mistake of rattling off things she's done before and enjoyed to the point where she became considerably less desirable to me. You don't want that to happen, but you're the one feeling a little bored.

I'd ask her what you could do to for her... to help her become more enthusiastic. If she's suddenly way more into it, that increased excitement level should be a great benefit to both of you. 

But, again, it's just my rather subjective opinion.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

IDK, but I think I felt more of that spark again this weekend with the wife. We have 3 kids, and on Sunday it was the day our community had trick or treat for the kids. It was nice because my 2 younger daughters were able to go out to trick or treat on their own and my oldest told us that he wanted to sit outside on the front porch to hand out the candy. So first time ever, we didn't have to worry about halloween for the kids. As soon as the kids were out the door we had a very passionate and vigorous love making session in the bedroom. Nothing new, but it was awesome. Maybe something as simple as stealing away was enough to tip us over from being in a rut to being ruttish. It's not like we haven't done things like this before, but for some reason it really hit the spot. Also, it was nice that we got 3 sessions in from Thurs thru Sun. It was nice. 

I still hope for more oral, thongs and a shave but I'll leave that for another day.


----------



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I would gladly give her oral - I enjoyed doing that for her actually because it feels so intimate and I enjoy her scent. But after our 3rd child, she says it doesn't feel good anymore - except during the rare times when she wants to 69.


I've had three kids and it hasn't physically changed the amount of pleasure I get out of oral sex. Not saying people can't be different, but this is kind of a red flag for me. A woman who doesn't enjoy oral = something wrong physically but probably more psychologically. The fact that she likes 69 but not oral focused just on her is puzzling. And the not shaving, and the not wearing a thong...all says she is disconnected from her p^ssy. 

If I were to venture a guess, I would say that she is so embroiled in her role as a mom, that she feels guilty about pursuing things for her own pleasure.


----------



## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Other than the anal, very vanilla to me. 

Shaving, thongs, and this type of thing should be easily fixed with simple communication. I can't imagine a loving wife that was open enough to have anal sex with you a few months ago not listening when you tell her you prefer she shaves and bought her some thongs. Women don't want to not be attractive. I'd say the shaving issue runs along the lines of under the arms or the legs. Let her know the hair turns you off. 

Something that can be fixed easily, unlike saying, "I wish you weren't so fat."


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

jaquen said:


> No, we are not using it incorrectly. "Vanilla sex" has largely become synonymous with "boring" sex and is often used with negative connotation. You quoted urban dictionary and three of the definitions there directly use the word "boring" or imply it in the given usage example.
> 
> Wikipedia, which you also quoted, likewise acknowledges the association by using the word "dull" in relation to the vanilla partner.
> 
> Dull, plain, boring, "meh", all terms used in both wiki and UD entries.


so if both you and your wife love vanilla sex, then it isn't vanilla sex by definition.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: Would you consider this a vanilla sex life?*



jorgegene said:


> so if both you and your wife love vanilla sex, then it isn't vanilla sex by definition.


I love vanilla ice cream, and it's vanilla ice cream by definition.

I also love chocolate too, sometimes I want vanilla, sometimes I want chocolate. There is nothing wrong with either unless you are a prude who thinks chocolate ice cream is sinful.


----------



## Tracman (Oct 17, 2012)

Better than ours. Our sex goes like this, I finger her for a while, she climbs on top, she orgasms, then I do. She will not do oral, no thong, no walking around in underwear, no interest in trying anything new. Well until recently, when I told her to put on lipstick and cover me in lip marks. Then she gave me a short 3 second bj, just because she wanted to get lipstick on it. First bj she has given me. So no, I would say you are doing well.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

firebelly1 said:


> woman who doesn't enjoy oral = something wrong physically but probably more psychologically.


Or she's just built differently. My wife is extremely orgasmic. The fastest ways to make her cum are actually nipple play and anal sex. Ocassionally she'll orgam just giving me head, it turns her on so much. She once had an orgasm in the shower washing her own hair, just like out of those old shampoo commercials.

Yet licking her clitoral glans is no different than trying to give a toenail head. She feels nothing. The only way she can get pleasure from oral sex is to literally be penetrated with a tongue, not the usual way most women get off. There is nothing wrong with her, physically or psychologically.


----------



## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I've been thinking about this a lot lately, that our sex life has been going into a rut. One thing that triggered me to start this thread was a comment I saw in the # of sex partners thread on General - specifically the comment "Oral sex and swallowing seems rather tame to me. Most women do this regularly". I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to grab the comment(s) and quoting them directly. I'll admit that the comments I quoted above hit a little too close to home for me.
> 
> 
> *PIV:* We do a variety of positions that include missionary, spooning, doggie, on her stomach, laying on bed while I'm standing, bent over the bed, and her on top (though that's been getting more rare). Also, occasional variations.
> ...


You are getting a lot more than some people on here so count what blessings you do have.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

firebelly1 said:


> I've had three kids and it hasn't physically changed the amount of pleasure I get out of oral sex. Not saying people can't be different, but this is kind of a red flag for me. A woman who doesn't enjoy oral = something wrong physically but probably more psychologically. The fact that she likes 69 but not oral focused just on her is puzzling. And the not shaving, and the not wearing a thong...all says she is disconnected from her p^ssy.
> 
> If I were to venture a guess, I would say that she is so embroiled in her role as a mom, that she feels guilty about pursuing things for her own pleasure.


I can assure you that she is not feeling guilt about seeking pleasure because she is a mom. My wife has a healthy view of her roles as a mom and as a wife. She is more into getting away from the kids for date nights that I am. Not that I don't love going out, but she's the one always bringing it up and asking where should we go out on this or that night. What my wife explained to me regarding oral on her is that after our third was born, it's never felt quite the same. Rarely it will feel good to her, but for the most part it seems like it has become too sensitive for a tongue. Fingers OTOH are not an issue. I can get it if oral on her now feels different than it used to as she gets older and had the kids, but it shouldn't mean that it has to stop for me receiving it too. Unfortunately, that's what's happened. Right or wrong, that's why oral is so rare and why I periodically start threads about my sex life.

Regarding the shaving, she says it hurts for it to grow back in. If she would maintain it after it's shaved then I don't think this would be a problem. But she doesn't want to do that. The thong thing is probably her feeling self conscious about herself. Sure, she had 3 kids but she looks pretty good considering. She's 5'6" and 140 lbs, so far from being overweight in my book.


----------



## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I can get it if oral on her now feels different than it used to as she gets older and had the kids, but it shouldn't mean that it has to stop for me receiving it too. Unfortunately, that's what's happened. Right or wrong, that's why oral is so rare and why I periodically start threads about my sex life.


Have you asked her about this?

Have you told her how important it is to you?

You are building resentment and that isn't good for the marriage.

This seems pretty selfish on her part. Either she doesn't know how much this bothers you or she doesn't care. Find out which one it is.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> so if both you and your wife love vanilla sex, then it isn't vanilla sex by definition.


I think labels are irrelevant if the two people involved are thoroughly satisfied.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> Ok Plan,
> 
> If you miss receiving oral, perhaps you could somewhat substitute with other forms of wet stimulation as opposed to dry touching during foreplay.
> 
> I'll share with you one of my favorites from back in the college days. It was receiving hand stimulation from girlfriends along with lots of extra lube. It was kind of messy for both of us which can be annoying afterwards, so I came up with a variation to use a condom and put lots of lube inside to help avoid the mess. Obviously that is not the same as oral, but it allows the giver to play around with using many variations of pressure. With the condom and lube, she can grip really tight while at the same time there is virtually no friction. Give it a try and report back if both of you enjoy?


Thanks for sharing that idea. You just put me onto a different idea we haven't done in years. I'm thinking of using a little extra coconut oil and doing the slide. Sounds hot and awesome.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Figured I'd give an update since everyone has probably been waiting breathlessly for me to chime in. Nothing much has changed. So on one hand, it's a bummer. Then again, on the other hand, I guess I'm still enchanting in her eyes. 

Always hold out hope and continue to persevere in a positive way I guess. If I buy her some expensive presents and trips, can I get a BJ to completion in exchange? Maybe it's worth a try. Nah, I'll go with a different approach to seek a little more variety. My wallet can't afford to pursue it any other way! :rofl:


----------



## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

Plan, I envy your vanilla sex life!! As of late, my vanilla ice cream sex life was eaten and I just have the empty bowl to wash and put away
Consider yourself a lucky man.


----------



## ChristianGrey (Nov 27, 2014)

badsanta said:


> While she will realize that you are just playing her for oral with the whole photo album, you might be able to get away with it!


You've got imagination and perseverance, man!

To the OP, if all else fails... put some mince meat (slightly warm) in glass and knock yourself out.

That's the most affordable BJ I can think of.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

ChristianGrey said:


> You've got imagination and perseverance, man!
> 
> To the OP, if all else fails... put some mince meat (slightly warm) in glass and knock yourself out.
> 
> That's the most affordable BJ I can think of.


That's just wrong...


----------



## ChristianGrey (Nov 27, 2014)

badsanta said:


> *Come on ChristianGrey!
> 
> Condom to prevent pads coming off and other things from ruining your shiatsu Pillow $8
> 
> ...


*

I once read about this old man, who tried it between the cushions of an electric sofa, a nominee for Darwin's awards.

Didn't think it through properly and got electrocuted when he came.*


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I scanned past a sidebar yesterday where someone was trying to actually do all the weird sexual positions in Cosmo. Most of them were impossible, some were dangerous, none of them worked as planned.


----------



## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Unsure if I answered this, but I'd consider it very vanilla. That would be subjective but, for me, non vanilla would be some sort of kink. 

Sounds like a nice sex life, but definitely vanilla.


----------

