# How to move on?



## singlelanetraffic (Mar 1, 2011)

Quick history:

W and I together for 10 years, married for 5. Three kids, two little girls together (4 and 6), and her son from a previous relationship (13). 

Looks like a divorce is in the cards, though I don't want to because of the kids, but see that the writing is on the wall.

So, I am just looking for a little advice (and perhaps some sympathy) for how to move on without falling apart.

What steps can a guy make to move on from a marriage? How can I keep my head above water when it feels like I am going to drown?

Any advice, stories of survival, would be helpful right now.


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

D day for me was two sundays ago. I have already moved to reflection/acceptant and slowly get to action upon reflection. Find something to keep you occupied, think of your kids and the memories you can make with them. There is a great post down in life after divorce about a single father and where he is now. That one helped me a lot because in my particular case my wife isn't just leaving me she is leaving the kids as well.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Allow yourself to grieve, but do not allow yourself to wallow.

Focus on you, and what you need to do. You need to be emotionally strong for your children ... and yourself.

Join, or get yourself into a gym. Exercise is like cheap therapy, often with far better results.

Acknowledge and recognize that you WILL get through this ... and you will find love again should you so choose.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Is there no chance of reconcilliation?
Do you want to work on your marriage?

If it truly is over...I want you to know that you WILL get through this.
A lot of people don't want to deal with the pain, so they do whatever they can to avoid it.

Counseling is good, so is exercise, meditating, prayer (if you pray)
Just take it one day at a time. One minute at a time if you have to.
Take this time to work on yourself and become the best person you can be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gypsygirl (Apr 6, 2011)

I stayed with my ex for another three years because of our son, and to be honest now we have split and getting divorced I really wish I had left him back then. I have been on my own for 6 months, and to be honest now I feel happier in myself than i have for years.

It's one of those times that you have to be selfish and think about what you want! If you are happy then your kids will be happy, simple as......and children adapt far easier and better than we give them credit for.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but give you another perspective


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## singlelanetraffic (Mar 1, 2011)

Thank you for your replies. I have not been back to continue this thread as my mother passed on Saturday so I have been dealing with that as well. 

Thank you for your perspectives and advice. The kids are definitely the toughest part of separation/divorce. I am really just trying to focus on myself and the kids and trying to be the best dad I canbe.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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