# I want anal with wife but she is not into butt play



## xanadu96 (Oct 12, 2012)

Okay, I have a very strong desire to have anal sex with my wife. I am afraid to even suggest it since I know the answer is going to be no. She joked about it as I have with her about shoving something in my butt too. I don't want anything shoved in my butt. I can't help but wanting to try it with her though. Neither one of us have ever tried it. She lets me rub her butthole but won't let the finger go in. I know, or have heard of, so many women enjoying it and cumming from it. There are oh two positions we do it: missionary and cowgirl. I would kill for some damn doggy style to enjoy watching her butt too. I am an assman all the way. That would be a nice start. I would love to have marriage with some excitement in regards to sex. 

Just venting and watch porn with anal as well as doggy style often to satisfy that desire. Any suggestions?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Let her peg you. Man up and go first.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Just the opposite here, but with the same outcome. Wife is highly anal erotic, but IT JUST WON'T FIT.... It has led to some frustrations, but we just kinda moved on. As far as your wife, if she would be willing to watch some porm with small doses of anal, she might gradually be more accepting....


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

Welcome to the club.
We tried anal once and she didn't like it. I think we just went about it wrong the first time. If I can ever regain some desire back from her, I plan on trying again, but this time with some education about the process.


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## fish (Jun 12, 2011)

Sounds like you are sh*t out of luck.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

slip a finger in when you are going down on her if she doesnt kick you in the head and blacken both your eyes atleast you opened the door and have a slim chance


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

if you want to try doggie just flip her over and do it. just start moving into new positions. don't ask, just do it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Tigger said:


> if you want to try doggie just flip her over and do it. just start moving into new positions. don't ask, just do it.


Better know your wife if you want that to succeed. I have been told on several occasions that if I want to try something new, I have to go down to the county seat and get a notarized document, in triplicate, outlining the specifics of the request so that she can get her head around the problem well in advance.

"Just do it" works for Nike, but it gets me a trip to pouting room.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I agree with the 'just do it' for doggie style, but I don't recommend it for anal. 

I don't want anything near my butt hole. My wife says she doesn't want anything near hers. But when I go down on her and she is really getting into it and I brush hers with my finger, I can tell she really likes it. If I do it too soon though, it turns her off. Touching her butt hole at the right time will often bring her to climax. I have tried to push it and insert a finger and that kills the mood. She doesn't like that, but she likes the touching. She just will never admit it.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

Sam...I think my wife is the same about not admitting to enjoying the touch. She's certainly said no more anal, but the last time we masturbated each other, we both ended up finger rubbing each others butt holes.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Tigger said:


> if you want to try doggie just flip her over and do it. just start moving into new positions. don't ask, just do it.


First anal sex (full penetration) isn't for everyone. If you really want to try and she is hesitant then start really slow desensitizing her to the idea. Every once in a while pat her on the butt, when your having sex do a lot of fondling back there..compliment the view often. Once she seems to like that attention start rimming her back there, go to bed spooning her..preferably nude...don't forget to compliment how great it is to cuddle her from the behind. Once she is accepting of this attention take it a little farther... this could take weeks depending how squeamish she is. Letting her do anal on you first is always a good start...once I started doing anal (prostate messages) on my husband I started getting curious about it for me. Still took me 6 months to try it for the first time. It took a couple months to accommodate my husband. He BIG and uncircumcised, so he is long and wide. We had a lot of ow, ow, double ow sessions....there were many a times I would say "never again", but he wanted it so bad we just kept trying. Anal lube is a must, not regular lube if she is tight and you big. You can also get anal lube with a numbing agent in it for first timers. Good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

I should clarify myself. I didn't mean just do it for anal. As for anal, she might not ever want to do it and you just have to accept that.

I meant for trying other positions. I don't see how anyone could be upset with that when you are in the moment. Don't people just roll around the bed from one position to the next spontaneously?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Doggie style is all good. Anal, is a good call on her part to say no.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Tigger said:


> I meant for trying other positions. I don't see how anyone could be upset with that when you are in the moment. Don't people just roll around the bed from one position to the next spontaneously?


Not always. Sometimes it is just one position until we finish. If we don't finish, then we try something different until the climax happens. Then it is over.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Tigger said:


> Don't people just roll around the bed from one position to the next spontaneously?


Uhhh no? Not always. Maybe a couple positions, but not "rolling around" from "one position to the next"....at least not us, anyway.


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## Eros Turannos (Feb 4, 2013)

Took me about 6 years of marriage to even warm up to the idea of my husband even touching anywhere back there, but once I allowed myself to be ok with the idea and researched a bit about it, I felt a lot more comfortable. I find it awkward to discuss still, but we're getting there. We got some toys for each other and are planning on trying it out, so long as we can manage not to get into any more stupid fights :/.. I digress, there was one site that I found where the women were so for it and described it so nicely that it made me want to try it instead of just think about possibly maybe considering trying it.. lol. I can't seem to find it now though 

Here is another site I found that I really liked however, you could maybe give the link to your wife:
10 Steps to Great First Time Anal Sex


Edit: Not sure why the link is showing twice, sorry 

10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex « Sex Secrets


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

gbrad said:


> Not always. Sometimes it is just one position until we finish. If we don't finish, then we try something different until the climax happens. Then it is over.


Do you mean your climax?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Tigger said:


> Do you mean your climax?


yes.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Tigger said:


> Do you mean your climax?





gbrad said:


> yes.


Just to make sure this is understood... I may be wrong about this, but I would guess that gbrad does his best to be sure his wife gets off first... like my husband does. In my case, PIV doesn't get me off, at all. So, he takes care of me first.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

So start with reverse cowgirl.... so you can rub on her butt while she is doing YOu. Win-win!


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

I would say research this first so you are well informed. "Guide to getting it on" by Paul Joannides or "Anal pleasure and health, a guide for men, women and couples" by Jack Morin are good places to begin. You can also get information from guidetogettingiton.com if you don't want to delve into the book (it is over 1000 pages).

Numbing lube is not recommended, since pain is a signal that things are not going well and something you should pay attention to. Pressure is okay but pain is not.

Porn does not show all the preparation that it takes for anal play.

There are a ton of resources for different positions. Many people are surprised at how many positions they have actually done. Just a slight shift in angle is often classified as a different position.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Maricha75 said:


> Just to make sure this is understood... I may be wrong about this, but I would guess that gbrad does his best to be sure his wife gets off first... like my husband does. In my case, PIV doesn't get me off, at all. So, he takes care of me first.


She gets off sometimes, but most of the time she just wants to make sure I get off.


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## workingatit (Nov 13, 2012)

My husband is a big anal man - me not so much. When we were dating I let him do full penetration...he was gentle and caring and it turned out that I actually enjoyed it after the pain subsided.....I let him because I loved him, and I wanted him happy - and I wanted to explore more things sexually with him.

We did not do that again, but I have always allowed fingers and touching.

We are separated now (have a thread going in separation forum) - and one big issue is our sex life has sucked due to me NOT wanting to make him happy since an affair he had....

Last night was the FIRST time in years I was able to completely loosen up with him.....I totally let him do just about what ever he wanted.....(we did not do any true penile penetration - since we are separated we did not want to get there just yet) --- it was a night of fingers, tongues and massaging EVERYWHERE.....and it was amazing......

.....and there is no doubt if we can reconcile.....that anal will become a part of our sex life going forward....not for him....not for me....but for US....so we can build a closer relationship and so we can make EACH OTHER happy.....he loves when I lick him there....never been my fave thing to do....but last night he reacted in a way I had not seen in years and it got me excited.....and there may be a time I may try to penetrate him...because he wont expect it!

......so I guess my point is......I feel like woman and men who are in love should at least try these things together...they may be pleasantly surprised to find they like it --- and the thrill of seeing you partner that turned on is awesome!!!!

When I did anal the first time...he asked if he could...I said no a few times before I said OK.....I loved him.....I trusted him.....and I knew he would stop the minute I asked him to.....

Have you reassured your wife of these things? Have you asked her in a way that will make her feel like it would be an experience that will bring you closer ---- 

I wish you luck and wish I could offer more....I know most of my friends wont do anal either.....it is just a dirty thing to girls...my apprehension lied in how I smelt...or what is up there....and in all honesty it made me think I would feel like a *****......but he made me totally comfortable.....that is the key to getting a woman to change her mind.....


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

xanadu96 said:


> Okay, I have a very strong desire to have anal sex with my wife. I am afraid to even suggest it since I know the answer is going to be no. She joked about it as I have with her about shoving something in my butt too. I don't want anything shoved in my butt. I can't help but wanting to try it with her though. Neither one of us have ever tried it. She lets me rub her butthole but won't let the finger go in. I know, or have heard of, so many women enjoying it and cumming from it. There are oh two positions we do it: missionary and cowgirl. I would kill for some damn doggy style to enjoy watching her butt too. I am an assman all the way. That would be a nice start. I would love to have marriage with some excitement in regards to sex.
> 
> Just venting and watch porn with anal as well as doggy style often to satisfy that desire. Any suggestions?


Less than 20% of women do annal. If your wife does not want to have anal, then that's it. No anal.

Why don’t you want anything shoved up your butt? You would enjoy it much more than she ever will.


I guess you married the wrong woman. Divorce her and marry someone who is into the things you want.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Why don’t you want anything shoved up your butt? You would enjoy it much more than she ever will.
> 
> 
> I guess you married the wrong woman. Divorce her and marry someone who is into the things you want.


Ele , you are one tough lady


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

mel123 said:


> Ele , you are one tough lady


LOL... why do you say that?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I also asked my wifee, can we try anal? Her immediate response is........NO!!! EXIT ONLY!!!!

So I guess anal is out. I would like to try it just once and see, curiosity and all.

The women in porn that do anal are paid to do it and to give the impression its awesome and pleasurable. It's their job.

In real life though, most women don't find anal awesome, enjoyable for obvious reasons, but if you do get a wife / gf that does like anal, consider yourself really fortunate and never say no to her!!!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CuddleBug said:


> I also asked my wifee, can we try anal? Her immediate response is........NO!!! EXIT ONLY!!!!
> 
> So I guess anal is out. I would like to try it just once and see, curiosity and all.
> 
> The women in porn that do anal are paid to do it and to give the impression its awesome and pleasurable. It's their job.


Not only is it their job, but they use a lot of pain killing ointment to be able to do what they do and act like they are enjoying it.

How many of those female porn stars end up with physical damage? I’ve heard it’s very common.



CuddleBug said:


> In real life though, most women don't find anal awesome, enjoyable for obvious reasons, but if you do get a wife / gf that does like anal, consider yourself really fortunate and never say no to her!!!


There was a thread here recently on the topic of anal sex that was, unfortunately deleted by the guy who started it. Some of the women told about physical damage that they had endured do to anal sex. I’m one of them.

I have nothing against people doing anal sex. But I will not (cannot) do it because of damage that I got years ago from it. It’s too painful and too risky.

Anal sex can lead to things like rips, fecal incontinence, rectal prolapse and hemorrhoids. I think that anyone who is thinking of being on the receiving end of anal sex should know the risks going into to.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Not only is it their job, but they use a lot of pain killing ointment to be able to do what they do and act like they are enjoying it.
> 
> How many of those female porn stars end up with physical damage? I’ve heard it’s very common.
> 
> ...



Totally agree. :iagree:

Anal sex can be pleasurable for some women but there's always the possibility of an anal tear and then no more anal sex ever. That's why regular vaginal sex is the natural way to go, meant for penetration and automatically lubricates and doesn't tear.

The main three reason women go into the adult industry is because they love sex, get paid extremely well and are the center of attention.


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

If she's not into it, I wouldn't press the issue, just be satisfied with what you have. Be mindful, however, that the precedent you set now will likely be with you 20 years from now, it is in my marriage. I wish I had communicate more openly with my wife 20 years ago.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Tigger said:


> if you want to try doggie just flip her over and do it. just start moving into new positions. don't ask, just do it.


Yes, because whenever consensual sex in a relationship turns into a sex act the partner doesn't like, that always goes so well.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

Watching it in porn and fantasizing about it is not going to help you.
It will just create a larger distance between you and your wife.

Maybe ask her to watch some with you and ask to discuss it.

If you don't......you are asking to do a very intimate thing with someone you don't feel intimate enough to talk to about it.

Sad.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

This may sound odd but I love it when my wife uses her fingers and caresses my anal area and sometimes, she licks around there as well. If she put her finger in my butt a bit, I wouldn't mind it.

So try anal with her either missionary or doggie style would be a fantasy of mine butt (nice pun) only if she was willing to try it and we prepared beforehand, lots of lube, relaxed, being careful.


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## jozeppy26 (Feb 18, 2013)

I wonder why all these men are so defensive about trying it themselves? At least there's an anatomical reason for it feeling good for men (unlike women). Grab and try a prostate massager instead of slipping a blue pill next time. ;-)


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

If she doesn't want it, deal with it. OR take one for the team first. If you won't, why would you expect her to? What's the difference? An anus is an anus, man or woman.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I love it. 'I wanna put things in my wife's butt but she can't touch mine!'
Gentlemen,don't expect anything out of your wife that you wouldn't be willing to give of yourself.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I love it. 'I wanna put things in my wife's butt but she can't touch mine!'
> Gentlemen,don't expect anything out of your wife that you wouldn't be willing to give of yourself.


Men like this never fail to make me laugh. They insist on their way and think anybody who doesn't go along with it is either frigid, a prude or "insecure". When the reverse is suggested then all of a sudden it is "Nothing goes in my butt, coalholes don't work that way, it will hurt and no way". Oh the irony. :rofl:


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## jman (Jun 20, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> This may sound odd but I love it when my wife uses her fingers and caresses my anal area and sometimes, she licks around there as well.


this ^^^ while getting a BJ is the most unbelievable feeling around :smthumbup: :smthumbup:


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

gbrad said:


> Not always. Sometimes it is just one position until we finish. If we don't finish, then we try something different until the climax happens. Then it is over.


My hubsters favorite, a bj and a prostate message at the same time! Gets me more turned on than anything doing it...especially if done in the 69 position. Don't knock it till you've tried it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Men like this never fail to make me laugh. They insist on their way and think anybody who doesn't go along with it is either frigid, a prude or "insecure". When the reverse is suggested then all of a sudden it is "Nothing goes in my butt, coalholes don't work that way, it will hurt and no way". Oh the irony. Asswipes, the whole lot. :rofl:


:iagree:

Then you also have some women that will not explore it on their husbands for some fear it will make them gay. (My wife)


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

StargateFan said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Then you also have some women that will not explore it on their husbands for some fear it will make them gay. (My wife)


Your wife and this dude should pair up. They would make a match made in homophobia heaven.


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Your wife and this dude should pair up. They would make a match made in homophobia heaven.


And the real kicker she gave me a rim job our first night together. Yeah, I have called the bait and switch card on her a few times.


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## Loyal Lover (Jan 30, 2013)

I don't mind my boyfriend touching and licking my butt/anus (as long as he doesn't put anything in), in fact, I kind of like it. I could go without it though but I DO like it and so does he. However, I am grateful he doesn't want me to touch (much less lick) his anus. I'm sure I would touch it (not lick though) but I've never tried it and I can't help but feel squeamish. I might do him with a strap on if he wanted me to...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

My wife will do anal once in a while. By once in a while I mean once in the first 10 years of our marriage, once in the second 10 years and twice in 2013 so far. A few months ago I bought a small plug and showed it to her, to see if it would spark any interest. It sat in the drawer for a few months. Then a couple weeks ago she asked me to bring it out to DP her. It was a lot of fun honestly.

When we were done she mentioned that next time she would use it on me. I said sure, no problem. Haha, that totally freaked her out. She asked, doesn't that make you gay? I said, no I don't think so. After all, I'm not asking to do it with another man, I'm asking to do it with my wife. In what universe is that gay? Then I went on to explain to her that men have a prostate gland and that it's supposed to feel pretty good. That REALLY freaked her out. I think she's sorry she brought it up. And no, she has no plans to use it on me as far as I can tell.

So ladies, if you're going to try calling out your man and telling him you'll do it if he does it first...just be careful. You might get what you're asking for. Enthusiastically even.

For the guys who are afraid of it, or what it means, don't be. Don't knock it til you try it.


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

If he is gonna play with mine....you bet I am gonna tease his. We both enjoy anal but I have to agree that it does depend on the size. 
I find it very erotic and "naughty". Shower time is a good time for this as well.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

SadSamIAm said:


> I agree with the 'just do it' for doggie style, but I don't recommend it for anal.
> 
> I don't want anything near my butt hole. My wife says she doesn't want anything near hers. But when I go down on her and she is really getting into it and I brush hers with my finger, I can tell she really likes it. If I do it too soon though, it turns her off. Touching her butt hole at the right time will often bring her to climax. I have tried to push it and insert a finger and that kills the mood. She doesn't like that, but she likes the touching. She just will never admit it.





IndyTMI said:


> Sam...I think my wife is the same about not admitting to enjoying the touch.


My wife is exactly like this. She won't admit to enjoying it, but when we 69 and I slide my finger to her back door, she goes WILD, and it often pushes her over the edge to climaxing.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

xanadu96 said:


> Okay, I have a very strong desire to have anal sex with my wife. I am afraid to even suggest it since I know the answer is going to be no.


Why are you so afraid of hearing the word "no"?

It's just a word.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

You say she will not let you put a finger in: you dont want to believe she doesnt like it? 

Note that anal sex does not equal 'excitement'. For you, maybe it does, for her maybe it doesnt. Does that matter to you?

Dude - it takes 2 to tango. Stop focusing on the fact that you will not be haviing buttsecks with your wife anytime soon. Ease up on the porn and maybe start looking at other ways to ratchet up the heat on your sex life that doesnt involve in-through-the-out-door. Face it - its not everyones cup of hot chocolate despite the hours of pretend excitement you are watching on porn sites. You may be able to ease her ino trying sometime.. months from now, maybe never.. but your post sounds like an over-eager puppy.

I would think getting a little doggie or from behind wouldnt be too hard - but if she thinks all you are doing is setting her up for a$$play that she doesnt enjoy anyway - then you are not going to get that either and then you both lose. 

Maybe if you can keep your fingers and your d!ck out of her butt for a little while - she would be more willing to face down into the pillowand and raise that glorious thing up for your utter enjoyment... but you are going to have to learn to play nice. Maybe after that you can try a little toungue which feels nice and maybe will help satisfy your needs a little.. but I'd suggest at this point avoiding penetration and practicing infinite patience. If it doesnt happen, fine. 

Sex, after all.. is only fun if your partner is enjoying it too, right?

RIGHT? 

If you let this become a requirement in your head - guess what... you will be right.


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## Gabey (Feb 20, 2013)

Here is what we do.

I've never done it, but when I see it in porn, it's very exciting. My wife has a beautiful a$$ and I would love to try it.

She hates the idea and said she doesn't want to try. She says it's an exit only, but loves me and says she would try if I really want it. When I silence my man-pig, I do think it is kind of gross and couldn't possibly feel as good to me as the other two "entrances" (not hers anyway). Also, I imagine what it would feel like to me if she bought a strap on and did me like that. It would not feel good!

This is what we came up with. She agrees to say things like "baby, give it to me up the ..." when shes on all fours. Still working on her saying it more naturally and without direction, but as I'm giving it to her doggy to hear her shout that out while working on her V, to me, the real thing couldn't possibly be better!

As a matter of fact, one of our kids was conceived like that!


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Gabey said:


> ...When I silence my man-pig...


too funny. :smthumbup:


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## Swoosh (Feb 20, 2013)

xanadu96 said:


> Okay, I have a very strong desire to have anal sex with my wife. I am afraid to even suggest it since I know the answer is going to be no. She joked about it as I have with her about shoving something in my butt too. I don't want anything shoved in my butt. I can't help but wanting to try it with her though. Neither one of us have ever tried it. She lets me rub her butthole but won't let the finger go in. I know, or have heard of, so many women enjoying it and cumming from it. There are oh two positions we do it: missionary and cowgirl. I would kill for some damn doggy style to enjoy watching her butt too. I am an assman all the way. That would be a nice start. I would love to have marriage with some excitement in regards to sex.
> 
> Just venting and watch porn with anal as well as doggy style often to satisfy that desire. Any suggestions?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Actually doggy style would the worst position. On her back or her on top would be best.

Start slow and the trick I learned was while doing oral and she's about to organism gentle slide your well lubed figure in her butt. 

It may work for you or it may not.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Then you do not get to do it. OK?


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

This is something that my wife has always not wanted to try with me or any of her previous bf's prior ....... but with patience and finding just the right timing when to ever so slightly touch her anus she sloowly but surely began to enjoy the touch =) now if i do slide a finger inside at the right moment it is enough to bring her over the edge while we're making love or while im eating her out !!! Goood luck !!


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Wow, to listen to some people here, anal is more dangerous than flying a helicopter while drunk. It's not dangerous, and it's not painful, if you do it carefully, slowly, and gently.

And someone said only 20% of women do anal? That definitely hasn't been my experience. Much closer to 90%. An ex-gf of mine actually used to orgasm from it. Still, I can understand the wife refusing anal, but refusing doggy style? What's the reason for that? Doggy style is actually the most natural position there is. 

If she won't allow you to even put your fingers there, try your tongue instead. She probably won't say no to that (assuming she has showered). Then ever so slowly progress from there. Same with you. If you aren't willing to try it, let her try her fingers there instead at least. Watching some anal porn together in the meantime couldn't hurt either.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

xanadu96 said:


> Okay, I have a very strong desire to have anal sex with my wife. I am afraid to even suggest it since I know the answer is going to be no. She joked about it as I have with her about shoving something in my butt too. *I don't want anything shoved in my butt.* I can't help but wanting to try it with her though. Neither one of us have ever tried it. She lets me rub her butthole but won't let the finger go in. I know, or have heard of, so many women enjoying it and cumming from it. There are oh two positions we do it: missionary and cowgirl. I would kill for some damn doggy style to enjoy watching her butt too. I am an assman all the way. That would be a nice start. I would love to have marriage with some excitement in regards to sex.
> 
> Just venting and watch porn with anal as well as doggy style often to satisfy that desire. Any suggestions?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Seems you have a double standard. You can't expect her to want it either. The women in porn movies do it for money not because they like it. They are actresses doing their job. I'm also sceptical about women cumming from anal as many have problems having orgasm even from vaginal intercourse. Many need clitoral stimulation to get off at all.


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

jozeppy26 said:


> I wonder why all these men are so defensive about trying it themselves? At least there's an anatomical reason for it feeling good for men (unlike women). Grab and try a prostate massager instead of slipping a blue pill next time. ;-)


Not all men are against it for themselves  . What do you say to the wife who said "You first!", and when that offer is taken up, the wife still refuses?


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> My wife will do anal once in a while. By once in a while I mean once in the first 10 years of our marriage, once in the second 10 years and twice in 2013 so far. A few months ago I bought a small plug and showed it to her, to see if it would spark any interest. It sat in the drawer for a few months. Then a couple weeks ago she asked me to bring it out to DP her. It was a lot of fun honestly.
> 
> When we were done she mentioned that next time she would use it on me. I said sure, no problem. Haha, that totally freaked her out. She asked, doesn't that make you gay? I said, no I don't think so. After all, I'm not asking to do it with another man, I'm asking to do it with my wife. In what universe is that gay? Then I went on to explain to her that men have a prostate gland and that it's supposed to feel pretty good. That REALLY freaked her out. I think she's sorry she brought it up. And no, she has no plans to use it on me as far as I can tell.
> 
> ...


To the bolded portion: :smthumbup:

To the rest of it: :smthumbup:


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

Gabey said:


> As a matter of fact, one of our kids was conceived like that!


:rofl:




Gabey said:


> Also, I imagine what it would feel like to me if she bought a strap on and did me like that. It would not feel good!


Ya never know!



Gabey said:


> This is what we came up with. She agrees to say things like "baby, give it to me up the ..." when shes on all fours. Still working on her saying it more naturally and without direction, but as I'm giving it to her doggy to hear her shout that out while working on her V, to me, the real thing couldn't possibly be better!


Great idea :smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

In all seriousness, though. OP, you should express your desires to her. Bring it up as wanting to add something new to the bedroom. Ask her if she would be willing to try slowly building into it - I'm talking about just rubbing her anus with a lubed up finger during oral sex. There is all kinds of advice out there as to how to best proceed once she consents.

No matter what the outcome, if and when you choose to tell her, respect her wishes. You must have an environment where she feels comfortable to say no. If she does say no, dont pester her about it. Leave it be. If it is that big of a deal to you, bring it up MONTHS down the line. 

RESPECT her decision, no matter what.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cobre (Feb 24, 2013)

Don’t do anything she is not comfortable with though if you haven’t brought it up…?


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## jozeppy26 (Feb 18, 2013)

Daneosaurus said:


> Not all men are against it for themselves  . What do you say to the wife who said "You first!", and when that offer is taken up, the wife still refuses?


Idk. I guess I would want to have a talk about our ability to be completely open and honest with one another in our sexual desires and needs. The way you phrased it, it almost sounds as though it freaked her out, like the experience is taboo or "wrong". So I would probably start by asking why she feels that way and for her current belief and understanding regarding prostate stimulation. Explain the anatomical relationship and the various options that exist for heterosexual couples and solo use. For instance, while her wearing a strap-on is extreme and definitely can alter one's perceived role in a relationship, smaller personal devices exist that are so discrete and properly formed that you can place the prostate massager and stimulate your prostate via muscle contractions (hands free) while simultaneously having intercourse with her in the traditional sense. She never sees it, touches it, etc. I would maybe even talk about how her reaction made you feel (e.g. the effect on your confidence/self identity, ability to feel sexy for her, share your desires and attractions with her, etc.).


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