# 10 reasons to get married



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's been a while since married life, I've come to forget alot of the pains and tribulations, and coming to terms with whether or not marriage was worth it in the end. I goggled reasons to get married and found this at the top:

Marriage makes you live longer: Reasons For Marriage - AskMen

To summarise:
10) Marriage makes you live longer
Errr, I dunno, marriage seems to have given me quite a few white hairs...
9) Marriage increases your earning power
Errr, I was sole provider so meh, still it did inspire me and drive me to achieve financially, even if the inspiration came mostly from the sense of responsibility that comes with daddyhood.
8) Marriage gives you a platform to build your bloodline on
Well, I already have an heir from the first marriage - my baby girl, not sure I want another kid...
7) Marriage prevents you from dying alone
Errr well, I'm sure my daughter will be there if daddy is going to die
6) Marriage makes you more attractive
Ey? Meh, I'm sexy enough as it is 
5) Marriage brings financial benefits
Meh, finances mean nothing to me now
4) Marriage means more sex
:rofl: , well, one trip to TAM and the myth is busted
3) Marriage means better sex
Well, a longer term partner does mean better sex, hence I prefer FWBs then ONSs, still meh
2) Married people are happier
:rofl:
1) Marriage makes you a better man
Does it really?

So meh, what you guys think of these 10 reasons?


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Most of the benefits for men are covered by men who are unemployed, disabled or in ill health being less likely to have the option of being married. The greatest health benefit is for divorced men.

That said, if you have a decent wife, I am sure all those benefits apply.


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Somehow I doubt that anyone has proven that being married "makes" men live longer.

I suspect this is another case of correlation, not causation, like the claim that graduating from college "makes" you earn more. In that case, someone finally followed up with a study comparing people who had *applied* (but were not necessarily accepted) to an elite university with those who graduated from that same university. It turned out that there was no significant difference in the earnings of those two groups. Here's a description of the college study: http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/21/revisiting-the-value-of-elite-colleges/

In the present case, I'm going to guess that men who get married are superior specimens overall, before they get married, when compared to men who don't get married. Has anyone done that study?


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

In the present case, I'm going to guess that men who get married are superior specimens overall, before they get married, when compared to men who don't get married.

Superior specimens? LOL Maybe the ones who do not get married are the wiser ones


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Married men don't live longer - it usually just feels that way. The health benefits are mainly for happily married men - they didn't break it down by quality of marriage, and some other studies have documented the negative health effects of a poor or stressful marriage.

And we all die alone - you can't take her with you (well, we won't talk about murder-suicide, even though it can be appealing).

The first time I was married, it meant no sex, never mind better sex. Of course,* in up to 5% of marriages*, it can lead to frequent, good sex. 

Financial benefits are usually outweighed by higher expenses. That one's an obvious lie.

Divorce made me a better man - my second wife benefits.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> It's been a while since married life, I've come to forget alot of the pains and tribulations, and coming to terms with whether or not marriage was worth it in the end. I goggled reasons to get married and found this at the top:
> 
> Marriage makes you live longer: Reasons For Marriage - AskMen
> 
> ...


Interesting.... I would think some of these could be true but getting married is a gamble and if you get divorced many of them become untrue in a hurry.

10) I am far more healthy now than I was married. Once I found out about the affair I developed and ulcer and high blood pressure. The ulcer has been controlled but 4 years later the high blood pressure remains.

9) for me marriage did decrease my earning power. She wanted me to work certain times and shifts which made promotion impossible. All while she worked on her career. I am going to get promoted now but I am about 5 years behind where I could have been

8) for me this is true I had both my daughters with X wife

7) not married anymore so no idea if I will be alone when I die or not

6) I can't say this is true or untrue. What I can say is that I notice I am checked out from women from time to time. My female friends thing I am very good looking, they may be biasied. When I was married I never noticed these things case I didn't care. The only person I wanted to notice me was my X wife...she didn't feel the same

5). Marriage can bring both benefits and burdens financially. Just depends on the individual situation

4) I had a great sex life married. Have a great one now that I am single as well. 

3) I think what they mean here that as you progress in a relationship you learn what each other's ticks are to make sex incredible. That's true but it doesn't take a marriage to figure that out. I figured my GF out by month 2 lol

2) I was happier married.. Can't lie and say otherwise

1) I have no idea what that means "better man". Aren't we all striving to be better people throughout life? I have always tried to improve myself. I will say it's a bit easier single because I only have to worry about myself. I control my money, career, my time with the kids. Where I vacation how I vacation what I drive and how I will retire. Since I don't have to check with anyone single is easier in this regard


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

technovelist said:


> Somehow I doubt that anyone has proven that being married "makes" men live longer.
> 
> I suspect this is another case of correlation, not causation, like the claim that graduating from college "makes" you earn more. In that case, someone finally followed up with a study comparing people who had *applied* (but were not necessarily accepted) to an elite university with those who graduated from that same university. It turned out that there was no significant difference in the earnings of those two groups. Here's a description of the college study: http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/21/revisiting-the-value-of-elite-colleges/
> 
> In the present case, I'm going to guess that men who get married are superior specimens overall, before they get married, when compared to men who don't get married. Has anyone done that study?


Actually, there is quite a body of statistically relevant evidence collected for well over a century that indicate married people live longer than singles. Yes, bad marriages can create more stress that can be detrimental to health and longevity but across the entire population, looking as married vs single, the probabilities are in favor of those married living longer.

As to the quoted college study, that specifically looked at earning power with regard to attending or not attending elite schools and did not examine lifetime earning of all who attend post secondary school vs those who do not. In the latter case, there again have been multiple statistically valid studies that show one is much more likely to earn more over a working life with post secondary education than without.

The population of TAM is self selected and skewed so is hardly an accurate predictor of marriage success or failure, marital heaven or hell.

As to the ten items listed for marriage pluses that began this thread, if one has been in a bad marriage, all ten likely are negatives rather than positives and if you focus only on the population of TAM it may seem to validate those negatives. Looking at the entire population the response to those ten items would most likely be somewhat different.


----------



## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Maneo said:


> Actually, there is quite a body of statistically relevant evidence collected for well over a century that indicate married people live longer than singles.


Yup, I've heard that one too but in a little different light. Single men die before married men, yet married men are far more willing to go! :laugh:


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Maneo said:


> Actually, there is quite a body of statistically relevant evidence collected for well over a century that indicate married people live longer than singles. Yes, bad marriages can create more stress that can be detrimental to health and longevity but across the entire population, looking as married vs single, the probabilities are in favor of those married living longer.
> 
> As to the quoted college study, that specifically looked at earning power with regard to attending or not attending elite schools and did not examine lifetime earning of all who attend post secondary school vs those who do not. In the latter case, there again have been multiple statistically valid studies that show one is much more likely to earn more over a working life with post secondary education than without.


Again, these are both correlations that may or not be causal.

Yes, married people live longer. Has anyone done a controlled test where people are randomly assigned to be married or unmarried? Of course not. So we don't know if married people have different personal characteristics that would make them live longer even if they weren't married.

Yes, people with post-secondary education make more money. 
Has anyone done a controlled test where people are randomly assigned to graduate from college or stop after high school? Of course not. So we don't know if college graduates have different personal characteristics that would allow them to make more money even if they didn't graduate from college.

In the second of these cases, the study that I cited indicates that elite college *graduates* make no more money than those who merely *apply* to those colleges but may not even be admitted, much less graduate! So that is a pretty good indication that the causal factor is *not* whether you go to such a school but whether you think you have a chance to get into such a school.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> It's been a while since married life, I've come to forget alot of the pains and tribulations, and coming to terms with whether or not marriage was worth it in the end. I goggled reasons to get married and found this at the top:
> 
> Marriage makes you live longer: Reasons For Marriage - AskMen
> 
> ...


*And simply just a one word answer ~ for being  anti-marriage:

Trust!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> It's been a while since married life, I've come to forget alot of the pains and tribulations, and coming to terms with whether or not marriage was worth it in the end. I goggled reasons to get married and found this at the top:
> 
> Marriage makes you live longer: Reasons For Marriage - AskMen
> 
> ...


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

My desire to remain married was not supported by this thread. Even after discounting the POV.


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

In no particular order:


(01) Life long companion hubby or wifee

(02) Caring and Loving

(03) Supportive

(04) Sexual

(05) financial

(06) Spiritual

(07) Option for having kids

(08) Each other offers something unique to the marriage

(09) Really good friend

(10) Makes me a better man, see the woman side of things


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Maneo said:


> Actually, there is quite a body of statistically relevant evidence collected for well over a century that indicate married people live longer than singles. Yes, bad marriages can create more stress that can be detrimental to health and longevity but across the entire population, looking as married vs single, the probabilities are in favor of those married living longer.
> 
> As to the quoted college study, that specifically looked at earning power with regard to attending or not attending elite schools and did not examine lifetime earning of all who attend post secondary school vs those who do not. In the latter case, there again have been multiple statistically valid studies that show one is much more likely to earn more over a working life with post secondary education than without.
> 
> ...


The correlation between longer healthier lives and marriage is there for men certainly. For the best health, you marry in your twenties and divorce in middle age. This is probably associated with calming down in your 20s and with being in better health and well being to get married.

Later, divorce releases you from the pressures of having a wife and the burden of responsibilities of children.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

technovelist said:


> Again, these are both correlations that may or not be causal.
> 
> Yes, married people live longer. Has anyone done a controlled test where people are randomly assigned to be married or unmarried? Of course not. So we don't know if married people have different personal characteristics that would make them live longer even if they weren't married.
> 
> ...


you can stretch out causal factors including those that aren't even measurable ad infinitum. But the bottom line remains that if one goes to some post secondary education, the greater the chances are one will make more money over the typical working life span. There may indeed be some personality factors that are also financial success factors that differentiate those who get more education. I'd go with the odds in my favor. The study on elite schools only pokes a hole in the assumption that going to an elite school makes a monetary difference in wages. It doesn't challenge the existing data that show lifetime higher earning regardless of what post secondary school was attended. Your initial statement could be interpreted that it is a false assumption that going to college increases the probability of being a higher wage earner.

More to the point of this thread, on the marriage longevity item, there was an analysis done by a refutable social scientist that indicated it was not marriage per se that leads to longer lifespan but marriages that are sustained over time with one partner rather than ending in divorce. The two groups this researcher found who statistically lived longer were those who married and stayed married to the same person and those who never married. Those who married and divorced or married multiple times - thus with periods of married life and single life - tended not to live as long. 

Naturally there will be exceptions in all those categories, but looking across populations those trends emerge So, go to college, marry and stay happily married and your chances of making more money and living longer are significantly improved. Or go to college and never get married and you have a greater chance of living a long prosperous life.


----------



## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> So men, what you guys think of these 10 reasons?


The sex one is laughable. Single people can certainly have more sex these days. With the right app on your smartphone you can hook up with no commitment. 

Quality of sex? Who am I to judge what someone else judges for value. 

The only advantage I can see to marriage regarding sex is STDs. I think this is the area that scares me the most when thinking about dating again.

I guess the other thing about sex in marriage is something one of our counselors said about being married we don't have to impress each other every night to keep the other person. In other words, sex doesn't always have to be swinging from the chandelier or come up with a new thing each time. Sometimes the vanilla is what you have time for and you can plan the crazy stuff at a better time.


----------



## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

10) Marriage makes you live longer
Don't know about that - certainly more stress being married
9) Marriage increases your earning power
Could be true, but I can't work more to earn more when I have to be home with the kids (note that I'm not complaining, just stating a fact)
8) Marriage gives you a platform to build your bloodline on
Granted
7) Marriage prevents you from dying alone
I do have other family
6) Marriage makes you more attractive
Not so sure about this
5) Marriage brings financial benefits
Nope - just means there's another person to spend more money
4) Marriage means more sex
Considering that we've had sex four times in the last five years, I'll say no
3) Marriage means better sex
Maybe
2) Married people are happier
This is a good one - when I was single, I wasn't *****ing about my wife
1) Marriage makes you a better man
Nope - a lot more to it than this


----------



## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Advantage to being married is having children in a socially approved stable environment. There is really no other advantage that is unique.

All of the other supposed advantages can be obtained without all of the additional burdens of marriage.

regarding long life, the basic factors for living longer (outside of genetics) seem to be diet, exercise, social support network, reason for living.

marriage can reinforce all of these (especially the last 2 in a good marriage), but they can also be gotten in lots of other ways.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

From a wife's perspective ... This is coming from a couple who values marriage, it's what we both wanted, 26 yrs later... we still feel the same. 

10) *Marriage makes you live longer.*

When a couple is happy, enjoying their lives together, the saddest thought IS if the other is taken from us, it makes us WANT to take better care of ourselves so we can live a ripe old age - my husband comments on being in our rocking chairs together..... doesn't mean it will happen.. but the hope , the contentment can be good for our hearts, souls, probably our blood pressure too. 

9) *Marriage increases your earning power .*

This one, I don't know... if 2 are working , sure.. in our case, he's the main breadwinner, if he didn't have a wife & kids, he could be a workaholic & it wouldn't matter if he's never home... he'd make more $$ & have more free time to do whatever... We do well enough on his income, we're satisfied where we are financially. 

8) *Marriage gives you a platform to build your bloodline on*... 

many do the same but never marry.. some of us feel it's the foundation , the proper beginning for building a family if a couple plans on children...an environment with a Mom & dad present, family structure, family vacations, it's something that's brought great meaning to our lives. We wanted the bloodline, all taking his name. 

7) *Marriage prevents you from dying alone*. 

So long as people have friends and/or some family, I don't see them dying alone.. if someone enjoys the closeness of someone "always being there", being married can be a beautiful thing-if you enjoy each other that is ! ...I see it in action with an older couple we know.. he was sick.. she nurses him back to health.. then she gets sick, he is there doing all he can....and the appreciate flows.... ...always someone to catch our fall so to speak... 

The dying part -not something we want to think about...at all. 


6)* Marriage makes you more attractive*. 

Feeling Loved by someone, cared for, their other half - whether married or not, does good for our soul, our attitudes, it builds our enthusiasm for life, for pleasing each other, looking good .. some lose this after marriage, which is unfortunate, it makes a world of difference when we still care to turn our spouses on! Sure makes it FUN too !

5) *Marriage brings financial benefits*. 

Maybe on our taxes...sharing a household. ..If one is wasting the others money, this wouldn't be true at all. . depends on how a couple manages their money .. 


4) *Marriage means more sex.* 

In our case I agree with it.. anytime myself or he is in the mood.. we aim to please the other, he doesn't mind being woke up at 3 am if I am feeling it.. and me, I'm at his beck & call.. quickies, all of it ! 

3) *Marriage means better sex. 

* Considering how others speak of intense desire & passion with forbidden fruit, if when things get dull /boring in the bedroom... who knows.. but when the emotional connection is thriving & there is a WANT to learn & grow together, upping the spice, some novelty -when these are pursued with enthusiasm, intimacy grows, the passion continues, sex is something that never gets old, you want to keep "doing" each other -cause it is so good.. 


2)* Married people are happier*...

some people dread the idea of marriage.. wouldn't want it at all, enjoy their alone time too much.. being alone would be more happiness for some, others delight in their careers. We make our own happiness.. 

Now if one wants to be married, enjoys , appreciates & dearly loves whom they are with, and can't imagine life without them ... we're going to feel very fulfilled in this ...true. #2 resonates with me as I would not enjoy being single, I want to commit, be committed.... I vote that being married has made me very happy. 

1) *Marriage makes you a better man* 

I know my husband feels this way.. because it was no longer just about HIM.. having a wife, kids... has given him incentive to be the best man he can be, to work hard to hold our respect, to get things done around the house, to please his wife.. and be a Father one looks up to.. Unspoken but I'm sure he wants to leave a legacy behind , to be remembered for being there, for being a man to look up to. 

All of this can still be very true without "being married" of course.. it's just that some of us value the ideal of marriage.. and o look through those eyes.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> From a wife's perspective ... This is coming from a couple who values marriage, it's what we both wanted, 26 yrs later... we still feel the same.
> 
> 10) *Marriage makes you live longer.*
> 
> ...


Think it goes without saying you have a great marriage. I think the outcome of this is directly related to who you marry. I have friends that have terrific wives, extremely supportive and understanding, involved in all aspects... I never had this myself and I admit to being envious of those who do... You and your husband are luck to have one another :smile2:


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Wolf1974 said:


> Think it goes without saying you have a great marriage. I think the outcome of this is directly related to who you marry. I have friends that have terrific wives, extremely supportive and understanding, involved in all aspects... I never had this myself and I admit to being envious of those who do... You and your husband are luck to have one another :smile2:


I so agree with you on this Wolf.. that the outcome is so directly linked to who we are with, how we get along, all of it.... it's a package deal.

Some are Givers, even giving too much -when they should hold back some (I would say this about my husband once upon a time).... some are geared to Take, rarely say thank you.. this can sour so much, we slowly die inside, disengaging goes forth.....some are just not compatible in areas they can not resolve and live with....

It could have been a whole different story with a different person ...for you, for Random, for me too ! 

I witnessed THIS truth from my own parents... My father was MISERABLE with my mother ...but with my step Mom.. he was "the perfect husband, friend, lover -her all"... he was/ is bountifully happy with that woman, and she with him.. they wanted the same things, appreciated each other... shared it , showed it.. 

I am no one special and believe you me.. had I married someone I wasn't compatible with ....Oh Lord !... If he was a silent treatment holder, wasn't naturally affectionate, wasn't responsible with $$, couldn't count on his word (just a few things that come to mind)... I wouldn't be any joy to live with ...this I know.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

aine said:


> Superior specimens? LOL Maybe the ones who do not get married are the wiser ones



Meh - my coworker is single after a very brief divorce, not dating, mid 50's, in perfect shape, wealthy, several pilot licenses, his own aircraft, the works.

I have a Mini Cooper. And an old iPhone.

Any questions :lol:


----------



## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> In no particular order:
> 
> 
> (01) Life long companion hubby or wifee
> ...


Your argument is invalid because 1) you can have ALL of those things in a committed, exclusive, long term relationship and 2) being married guarantees you NONE of those things.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

warshaw said:


> Your argument is invalid because 1) you can have ALL of those things in a committed, exclusive, long term relationship and 2) being married guarantees you NONE of those things.


Is anything in life a guarantee except that we will all age and eventually die? Those who've had positive marital experiences will come down on the affirmative for many of those 10 items. Those who've had negative marital experiences will find few, if any, of those 10 items a plus from marriage. That all proves squat.

No guarantees.

On the other hand, unbiased surveys of the general population repeatedly find, on average, more positives than negatives from marriage. That doesn't negate the absolutely 100% negative experiences some have from marriage nor predict 100% happiness for others contemplating marriage. And within certain populations the happiness/unhappiness percentage may be skewed one direction or the other.

But to blanket discount any positives to marriage is as wrong as attributing all positives to marriage. Generalizations may often have a seed of truth in them but quickly break down when applied with a broad brush.

I am immediately suspicious of anything that contains words like "never" and "always" .

I want my kids to get a college education, not because it will guarantee them a better life but it improves their chances for it. I get married not because I expect it to guarantee a happier longer life but I hope that it will and think the chances for happiness and longevity are improved by it.

Life is probabilities, not certainties.


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

We can actually agree that all these things would be benefits of a long term committed relationship with a loving and understanding partner. The question is how many such people are out there and how many of us could reciprocate.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

There is no practical difference between marriage and a committed exclusive long term relationship. In fact at dissolution many states will treat it the same.
Many of the complainers on this thread do not want an exclusive long term committed relationship either.
I'm personally, frequently, evaluating my need to stay in what most people would feel is a perfect marriage. 25 + years, no infidelity, still have a frequency measured in per week instead of per month, or per year. In short I'm not seeing enough benefit to justify the minimal cost of maintaining the relationship.

I'm not seeing a list that helps.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> It's been a while since married life, I've come to forget alot of the pains and tribulations, and coming to terms with whether or not marriage was worth it in the end. I goggled reasons to get married and found this at the top:
> 
> Marriage makes you live longer: Reasons For Marriage - AskMen
> 
> ...


Here's what I think:

10) Marriage makes you live longer - definitely not fact, plus who wants all the damn headaches?

9) Marriage increases your earning power - absolutely false. When you have a wife she's spends alot plus when you have a family you go broke trying to support them. I can speak from my own experience here, I would way better off financially if single. My wife actually got me fired from a job once.

8) Marriage gives you a platform to build your bloodline on - Why the hell would you want that? Wife's bloodline is full of all sorts of f'ed up things.

7) Marriage prevents you from dying alone - This is also wrong because 60% of marriages end up in divorce so you die alone anyway.

6) Marriage makes you more attractive - How the hell can that be? With all the grey hairs of worry she's given me?

5) Marriage brings financial benefits - BS, see #9

4) Marriage means more sex - Ha, we all know how untrue that is.

3) Marriage means better sex - see #4

2) Married people are happier - Total BS

1) Marriage makes you a better man - Again BS, I would have been better off single.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

jb02157 said:


> Here's what I think:
> 
> 10) Marriage makes you live longer - definitely not fact, plus who wants all the damn headaches?
> 
> ...


Then simply divorce. :grin2:


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Yeswecan said:


> Then simply divorce. :grin2:


oxymoron


----------



## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> There is no practical difference between marriage and a committed exclusive long term relationship.


Well said and 100% correct.

I don't even think married couples get more of a tax break than individuals anymore and even if they do it's not enough to be a reason to marry.

With the new domestic partnership laws that give live togethers health insurance under the others plan, there really is no practical difference between married and living together/exclusive committed, except you know you're together because you want to be not because it's too expensive to divorce.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

perol said:


> I don't even think married couples get more of a tax break than individuals anymore and even if they do it's not enough to be a reason to marry.


The unsaid marriage penalty tax. Federal tax is higher for married couples from what I understand.


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

perol said:


> Well said and 100% correct.
> 
> I don't even think married couples get more of a tax break than individuals anymore and even if they do it's not enough to be a reason to marry.
> 
> With the new domestic partnership laws that give live togethers health insurance under the others plan, there really is no practical difference between married and living together/exclusive committed, except you know you're together because you want to be not because it's too expensive to divorce.


If one of the marital partners has no or very low income and the other has a high income, the total tax payments can be considerably less than if they were not married.

But I agree that it's not enough to be a reason to marry.


----------



## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

intheory said:


> A "committed exclusive long term relationship" is marriage with an escape hatch.


A "marriage" is a committed exclusive long term relationship with a lock on the exit door.

In case of fire it takes longer to get out


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

perol said:


> A "marriage" is a committed exclusive long term relationship with a lock on the exit door.
> 
> In case of fire it takes longer to get out


Haha!

Longer and you have to PAY with half your assets to get out!


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

intheory said:


> A "committed exclusive long term relationship" is marriage with an escape hatch.





perol said:


> A "marriage" is a committed exclusive long term relationship with a lock on the exit door.
> 
> In case of fire it takes longer to get out


It's not much of a lock. (depending on the state) In fact the ready availability of no fault or irreconcilable differences Divorce makes me wonder at the perceived need for an escape hatch.

It pretty much says I trust you, but . . . . .


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Mr. Nail said:


> It's not much of a lock. (depending on the state) In fact the ready availability of no fault or irreconcilable differences Divorce makes me wonder at the perceived need for an escape hatch.
> 
> It pretty much says I trust you, but . . . . .


Tell that to the men who have lost half their assets in a divorce.
All this is beside the issue of child support, which has nothing to do with being married.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

exactly, abstaining from marriage is no protection. Getting less state by state.


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> It's been a while since married life, I've come to forget alot of the pains and tribulations, and coming to terms with whether or not marriage was worth it in the end. I goggled reasons to get married and found this at the top:
> 
> Marriage makes you live longer: Reasons For Marriage - AskMen
> 
> ...


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

unbelievable said:


> 7) Marriage prevents you from dying alone
> 
> If you want to die surrounded by lots of people, be an airline pilot.


I shouldn't laugh at that, but I did.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

_7) Marriage prevents you from dying alone_ 

50% of married people die after their spouses.


----------



## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> _7) Marriage prevents you from dying alone_
> 
> 50% of married people die after their spouses.


Impossible.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Thankfully this thread is nearly dead so we can discuss the fine points of the mathematics.
A few couples die simultaneously, usually in catastrophic accidents, but some times in suicide pacts. The rest die independently. This portion is the vast majority. In this case one partner dies and the other is left a widow or widower. So while it would be impossible to claim that a full 50% die at some date after their spouses Death date. The number of simultaneous deaths is probably statistically insignificant. What remains is this, if you get married your chance of being a widow or widower is very nearly 50%. 

Now for those that claim that the "benefit" of not dying alone comes through children, I would have to comment that not all marriages produce children, not all children are attentive to their aging parents, and not all children are born to married parents. So this benefit is in no way 100%. 

Satisfied?

Another interesting point is the Divorce question. Some 60% of marriages end in divorce. So if we take that straight only 40% of people are married when the first partner dies. Now that isn't true because of remarriage. I have no idea where to find a statistic to tell us how many people are actually married at the point that they die. I think we can safely guess that that number is some where on the small side of 21% - 51% .


----------



## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> A few couples die simultaneously, usually in catastrophic accidents.. So while it would be impossible to claim that a full 50% die at some date after their spouses Death date.
> Satisfied?


Yes, thank you for the clarification and agreement that your 50% number was impossible.

I too was thinking of a misfortune that befell a happily married couple, they were on vacation in florida, they lost control of their minivan and swerved across the median, the van turned upside down and they were smashed into by a tractor trailer. Thankfully their deaths were instantaneous. 

Very sad.

Although you could possibly argue that one of them lived longer than the other, perhaps on the scale of milliseconds but we're talking about "for practical purposes" here.


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

perol said:


> Yes, thank you for the clarification and agreement that your 50% number was impossible.
> 
> I too was thinking of a misfortune that befell a happily married couple, they were on vacation in florida, they lost control of their minivan and swerved across the median, the van turned upside down and they were smashed into by a tractor trailer. Thankfully their deaths were instantaneous.
> 
> ...


Where is lifeistooshort? We need an actuary in here! >


----------



## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

jb02157 said:


> Here's what I think:
> 
> 10) Marriage makes you live longer - definitely not fact, plus who wants all the damn headaches?
> 
> ...


Agree with all of this, except my wife didn't get me fired from a job. Rest is spot on. Much more stress being married - like jb, I'd have been much better off being single. I love my kids to death, but having them means that their mother is a ball of stress. I'm not looking forward to trick or treat this evening because that means Mommy will be stressed out feeding them dinner and getting their costumes on, because trick or treat is supposed to be a stressful event. 

Also better off financially - DW thinks that money grows on trees. Since we both work, we can buy lots of things, plus give her dumbass, drama queen sister money because she can't control her own spending.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Erm, money DOES grow in trees, just not literally 

But yeah get what you mean, spend spend spend no investment


----------



## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> 9) Marriage increases your earning power
> 5) Marriage brings financial benefits
> 
> 4) Marriage means more sex
> 3) Marriage means better sex


9)
5)
Not sure how having a woman around to spend all her money and yours while bagging you to her friends increases earning power or financial benefits. Never heard of losing half your stuff and paying alimony for decades to be a "financial benefit".

4) definitely not, especially after first year
3) hell no
In fact, that's one of the worst parts. You are only permitted a sole partner (except under unicorn provisions), as a male culturally you're supposed to spend all the time pleasing her (and her womans' magazines soft-porn false expectations), you have to cater to all her hang-ups and moods.
And if she's grumpy or menstrating or stressed or angry at a coworker or angry at a friend or angry at a child or feeling that youre not as rich/physically built/tall/etc/etc/etc enough or if things are fine or you decided to put the garbage out tomorrow or do the garden tomorrow or didnt want to spend time with her parents (that she couldnt stand when you met her) or .... or etc.. then you have to wear all that **** - if you're not married you won't put up with that crap and just go "next !"


----------

