# For Women: Change Name after Divorce?



## jellybean123 (Aug 17, 2013)

I am curious what other's think about this... 

For women with children... After your divorce are you going to/ did you change your name back to your maiden name? 

My children are very young still and I don't want to have a different last name than them. Even if I am going to be divorced, I am traditional like that. I just see confusion with school, activities, etc. 

On the other hand, my married last name is long and confusing for people... it is unusual. My maiden name is short and simple. My father has been my life line since my separation, helping emotionally, financially, etc. I think that would be a nice honor him by reclaiming my maiden name instead of keeping stbxh's name. 

I guess if I did not have young kids, it would be an easy decision. I would take my maiden name back. But, I still have 10-15 years until my kids are "adults" and who knows if I will remarry or what. I kind of want to have the same last name as them as they grow up, but does that even really matter? 

I am interested in other's input on this.


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## northernlights (Sep 23, 2012)

Well I never changed my name when I got married, so this one's a non-issue for me! My older daughter has my maiden name as a middle name, and I really wish I'd done the same with the younger, but we used his mother's maiden name for her middle name. I've always disliked that the American default is to erase a woman's maiden name from the family and only use the man's.


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## Oldrandwisr (Jun 22, 2013)

One suggestion. I had a friend who hyphenated married/maiden names for less confusion for the children, but I'm not sure if it's something written in the divorce or if you have the option with going back to the maiden name. She had the same dilemma with easier maiden name and family honor, yet torn over not matching the children' last name.


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## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

My ex wanted to keep her married name for the exact reasons as you said and I understand completely.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*XW#1 kept my surname primarily because of my sons living at home with her post-divorce and still surprisingly keeps it to this very day! 

XW#2 immediately switched hers over to her maiden name as a part of a codicle within the divorce decree. And because of her fastidious marital boinking of her BF's, I did not want her keeping my surname under any condition!*


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## motherofone (Jan 10, 2013)

I'm keeping my married name. Honestly my daughter has a terminal disease and will pass. But I have had this name for almost 10 years. If or when I remarry that may change, but I think for me forward is how I wish to continue.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

When I married long ago keeping my maiden name was not an option. When I divorced I took it back. It's the name I was born with and it's the name I wanted to keep. Women in many countries keep their names when they marry. Makes sense.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

My kids are older, with the youngest being 15 and still in school. I will probably keep my married name because of that. Funny thing is, there are times I don't feel comfortable using it. If I ever remarry, I'll change to my new husbands last name.

Funny story though - my mother, who has been divorced from my father for 35 years kept her married name all these years. She recently married her long time boyfriend of 20 years. She kept my father's last name. After all these years, it's just her name, simple as that.


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## GotLifeBack (Sep 12, 2013)

Well - I'm not a woman, but I can tell you that my STBXW will be reverting to her maiden name. She already has on facebook etc. 

She didn't like my surname as it was too "common" (I should have told her to gtfo then hehe).

We have no children or complications though.


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