# Talking about men



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm curious. In your experience is it common for women to discuss intimate details about their relationships / sex lives with other women?

At least in my social circle, it is almost never discussed between men - I know just one guy who talked about sex with his wife, and he was a complete ahole in a variety of ways. 

Maybe most men do discus, and I'm just too awesome and intimidating for anyone to dare bring up the subject with me... (or not).


BTW - I'm not "worried" or concerned about whether or not I'm being discussed. Just curious.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Doesn't happen in my world. With the exception of my brother, I don't know any intimate details about the sex life of any other man on earth - save for the lovely patrons here.

Of course, I wasn't the target demographic of your question, but I'll answer anyway.


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## CatJayBird (Oct 5, 2015)

I've never had a relationship or a sex life with another woman.... ....to be able to discuss.....


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

That usually isn't done in my particular group of girlfriends, beyond generalities. Sharing specific details, particularly regarding a husband or long-term partner, is exceptionally rare. We're not particularly prudish, we just don't tend to talk about sex in the specific context of our partners. 

I found out in the latter years of our marriage that my now-ex-husband and his buddies did tend to discuss the most intimate details of their sex lives. Even with his friends who didn't, my ex was apparently particularly prone to over-sharing. To be honest, that felt _deeply_ disrespectful of me and our marriage. A married couple should be able to do, say, share, things in their sex life that aren't then shared with the boys at the next poker game.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Not in my world either...except all the women members on here. They are so darn nosey:grin2:


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I cannot remember ever discussing sex in more than just generalities with anyone except my sister and my daughter.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

During college? Yes, sex lives were discussed openly, often with a desire to understand other people's experiences to help understand our own since sex and relationships were still new. 

After college? No sex details, just general relationship stuff.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Only with my friend who has the open marriage .


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Nope. There might be a little discussion of slowing down and do you think vitamins would help type thing.

There was a thread here about 3 years ago where a guy shared his marital sexcapades with his twin brother. No, his wife didn't know. That was so creepy but some guys chimed in that it was ok because it was his TWIN. Oh, well, there you go. That will make family get-togethers just so much more pleasant.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

My G/F and her close friends talk about their sex lives. I don't talk about my sex life with other guys.


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## TheRaconteuse (Aug 2, 2016)

When I am in a relationship with someone I care about, I share very few intimate details unless a "problem" needs discussion. Apparently, I'm the go-to for really intimate questions. Now, if I am getting rug-burns from being thrown around by a 20 year old, most of my friends beg for the nitty gritty, and I will hilariously share. So to answer your question, yes. I know every one of my friend's preferences, nitty gritty, etc from some point in their lives. 

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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Maybe generalities but never specifics.

I remember reading a thread on SI once, where the BW's husband cheated with her best friend. She was warning others never to talk to others about your sex life. The BW explained that before the affair her and her best friend used to talk to each other about their sex lives with very specific details, like how her husband was well endowed and great in bed. Looking back the BW felt that this information got the friend curious and her friend started to pursue the husband. Obviously, the husband is an a-hole but I can see the BW's point.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

When I was married my wife would go into details with one or two of her confidants, my buddies and I would only ever go into generalities if the situation called for it. Once in awhile there will be a joke that insinuates somewhat more detail but it usually is not associated with any negative connotation. Now that I am in a new relationship, my GF and I really don't share our intimacy with anyone and will only go into generalities when called for... it makes for a much more open relationship where we can trust in each other to express and act in ways we want without feeling like we will be scrutinized. Very fulfilling indeed.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Interesting enough, more now than I ever had before. One guy I work with got the job because his wife is friends with my wife from HS, so we have an outside history. At first, it was really just like, man, I haven't gotten laid in 3 or 4 weeks kind of talk. Recently, with how my life has been going we have been talking more about this. Mostly about him and his wife, and sometimes another guy at work and his. But mostly about complaining and trying to find understanding and help. 

So, not like, my wife's tits are amazing and I rammed her from behind last night (though when my wife got a boon job, it was a topic for a while). More like him telling me he is in a sexless marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## no name (Aug 4, 2016)

I think that the intimate relationship stays private. This is something sacred and special between hubby and wife. I don't see it as anyone's business . So I never talk about it to my friends nor do I ask. I really don't want to hear it either. 


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Well I'm going to be the "outier" here with another perspective.. I have about 3 girlfriends (2 I have known since grade school) that ..Yeah.. we've talked , laughed, getting a little "deep" in discussing our sex lives.. heck my husband doesn't mind.. 

Does he do this to the extent I may go on... NO...but the guys at work, they've had some exchanges... he would never say anything to disrespect me.. though he's let enough out that he was envied, slapped on the back with "you're a lucky son of a B*tch" ....how I'm pretty much a Nympho , that I'm "killing him" ...

Me & him are a pretty open bunch.. he doesn't mind what I share on this forum either..


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

no name said:


> I think that the intimate relationship stays private. *This is something sacred and special between hubby and wife. *I don't see it as anyone's business . So I never talk about it to my friends nor do I ask. I really don't want to hear it either.


Maybe it wouldn't make sense to some.. but I also feel what we share is sacred...(and not many people ascribe to that word... I think even my husband would say "*Special*" over "*Sacred*"...I asked him this years ago)..

We've only been with each other, it's something we deeply treasure...we've learned, grew and been awakened together... I don't think just because one or the other CAN speak about these things with close friends, sharing some of our experiences, nullifys this in any way... 

It's just a difference of opinion....it's important, however, to respect how our other half feels.. most definitely.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

uhtred said:


> I'm curious. In your experience is it common for women to discuss intimate details about their relationships / sex lives with other women?
> 
> At least in my social circle, it is almost never discussed between men - I know just one guy who talked about sex with his wife, and he was a complete ahole in a variety of ways.
> 
> ...


Very much so, including groups where I was nearby.

Doing things like listing literally "oh I've had one with a really big ****, another a foot fetishist, and my husband likes ...".
Others discussing duration, foreplay technique.

In fact my ex-partner would discuss such things with anyone...except me (where the topic drew complete silence).

Amongst my male friends it's not something talked about unless one is seeking advice (ie almost never, and then only in technical terms). Admittedly it comes in conversation with the 18-20yr males at the university I'm at. But my generation learnt at high school (12-16y.o.) that you don't talk about what you and her do because such stories get around and she'll be shamed (or someone will tell her parents) and we're not just talking sexual stuff !anything! personal in the relationship.

That's why you'll often see me described a male as an appendum to the relationship. She has a relationship for children and for social reasons or from hormones and combination of the other two - most of the time all the serious relationship stuff that a man looks for, his partner actually shares with her court and bff's. He's an accessory but seldom an equal participant, and not just at the "trophy husband" end of the scale.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I generally here it as complaining about a lack of sex is all.

I tend to not discuss mine because I think that would only cause contension or disbelief much like SA's husband dealt with.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

larry.gray said:


> I generally here it as complaining about a lack of sex is all.
> 
> I tend to not discuss mine because I think that would only cause contension or disbelief much like SA's husband dealt with.


In reality.. how it happened at work was: a bunch of guys, sex is gonna come up, comments, not getting enough , pretty typical... husband even used to jump on there saying "well I've only gotten it 6 times" (hence 6 kids)... joking around.. then one day.. eating lunch... they started commenting on what I was packing him.. all of a sudden it was healthier... A LOT healthier (cardboard!)-he did some complaining .....he must have said something -like "not sure what got into her, she can't keep her hands off me"... then he told him I wanted to UP his testosterone.. 

Oh my Lord.. that let the cat out of the bag !! 

Yrs ago.. we went out to eat with a bunch of them & the boss, Company paid for night out.... the whole conversation turned to me & him at Quaker Stake & Lube how I'm "killing my husband", I gotta let the man Rest... everyone was roaring.... Oh it was a good time... all in FUN..(but yeah.. he kinda gave me a reputation there) 

The one co-worker clued me in how they suddenly noticed his lunches were healthier...like what's that all about!... they razzed Me over this! ...just getting a big charge out of it.. Most of these guys are laid off now... a lot quieter at work...

After this.. he had some of them asking to try "Stiff nights" , confiding in their sex lives.. My husband is very easy to talk to... just kinda funny.. me being on this forum.. then that going on at work...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Yes, I have several friends with whom sharing intimate details sometimes occurs. Generally they occur during very deep conversations about the marriage itself. We don't typically discuss details that aren't totally relevant to the conversation. We don't typically discuss details about our husbands but mostly focus on how we feel about what's happening; mostly good, rarely bad. We typically only share his details wrt the general 'mood' of marital sex. Such as antagonistic, needy, etc.

This kind of stuff.
"Have you ever tried xyz toy?"
"He complains about lack of sex yet he never actually initiates."
"I've got this pelvic tilt thing so some positions hurt but he has always wanted to do ......so we tried and I ended up in bed for two days."


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Yes, I have several friends with whom sharing intimate details sometimes occurs. Generally they occur during very deep conversations about the marriage itself. We don't typically discuss details that aren't totally relevant to the conversation. We don't typically discuss details about our husbands but mostly focus on how we feel about what's happening; mostly good, rarely bad. We typically only share his details wrt the general 'mood' of marital sex. Such as antagonistic, needy, etc.
> 
> This kind of stuff.
> "Have you ever tried xyz toy?"
> ...


AP, is the bolded something a lot of your friends complain about?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

jld said:


> AP, is the bolded something a lot of your friends complain about?


No, one friend in particular. Her H complains about lack of sex but she says she's never turned him down. She says he expects her to dress in something sexy and seduce him. another friend who is a nurse and has left her husband said the only time they ever had sex was when she initiated and she got sick of nurturing and wanted someone to nurtur her.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> No, one friend in particular. Her H complains about lack of sex but she says she's never turned him down. She says he expects her to dress in something sexy and seduce him. another friend who is a nurse and has left her husband said the only time they ever had sex was when she initiated and she got sick of nurturing and wanted someone to nurtur her.


That has to be a bummer, to deal with that. No wonder that one friend left her husband.


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## no name (Aug 4, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> No, one friend in particular. Her H complains about lack of sex but she says she's never turned him down. She says he expects her to dress in something sexy and seduce him. another friend who is a nurse and has left her husband said the only time they ever had sex was when she initiated and she got sick of nurturing and wanted someone to nurtur her.




I just would like to know if these friends are on this forum too and know you are talking about THEIR personal life? If they don't mind. 


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

no name said:


> I just would like to know if these friends are on this forum too and know you are talking about THEIR personal life? If they don't mind.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


This is an anonymous forum. You don't know who I am therefore you can't possibly know who my friends are. The anonymity means that what is shared here isn't personal, its anecdotal.

By talking about sex we remove a great deal of baggage wrt sex. I'm sorry you lack the kind of close friendships that would nurture an emotionally safe place.


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## no name (Aug 4, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> This is an anonymous forum. You don't know who I am therefore you can't possibly know who my friends are. The anonymity means that what is shared here isn't personal, its anecdotal.
> 
> 
> 
> By talking about sex we remove a great deal of baggage wrt sex. I'm sorry you lack the kind of close friendships that would nurture an emotionally safe place.




That's fine being anonymous no issue there. I agree with that . I am simply stating that it is quite different to be talking about oneself and ones involvement in the issue with that person, then talking about others personal issues regardless of the subject, that doesn't actually involve yourself and was told in confidence to be discussed between each other. I wouldn't want my friends to be talking about anything I talked about in confidence to blab it in a forum even if anonymous. Thanks but there is also no need to apologise as I already do have this. Purely just putting this out there from a different perspective , I have no issue with you having to agree to it, so tone down the attitude please. 


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

If friends and I are discussing husbands, it's more related to what's happening in their / our lives from a loving, caring perspective and how they're going about things. Sex talk is usually general and spoken about playfully. 

In the past, other friends and I have discussed sex more but not specifics about the man or husband... and often with a lot of laughter. 

When hubs and I were in the midst of our sh!t coming to surface, I did share with close friends. Again, not specifics about my husband but more the theme of what was occurring between us. One of the best insights received was from my (male gay) friend, who is very supportive of our relationship, and helped me see past some of my own bullsh!t.


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## Camilne (Aug 7, 2016)

Well we talk about all things openly. In our group, if you meet someone new...after what's his name... the next question is so how big is his... usually 'said' by doing air inches! Then we go ooohh or hmmmm. And by now most these guys are married or in long term relationships with our friend's, but we act all civil like. Hello Steve, nice to meet you. Even though I know how big your...... is😂😂😂. Guys do it too!!

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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Never have discussed the details of my sex life with my friends, just doesn't come up, really. This is something that is exaggerated in movies, though - showing women sitting around a table talking about the intimate details of their sex lives with their friends after a day of shopping or something. I don't want to hear about my friends' sex lives, tbh.


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## no name (Aug 4, 2016)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Maybe it wouldn't make sense to some.. but I also feel what we share is sacred...(and not many people ascribe to that word... I think even my husband would say "*Special*" over "*Sacred*"...I asked him this years ago)..
> 
> We've only been with each other, it's something we deeply treasure...we've learned, grew and been awakened together... I don't think just because one or the other CAN speak about these things with close friends, sharing some of our experiences, nullifys this in any way...
> 
> It's just a difference of opinion....it's important, however, to respect how our other half feels.. most definitely.




That is fine to have a difference of opinion. I don't mind. I wouldn't say I meant it as to mean to nullify the sacredness because of talking about it with friends but I understand what you said. I am In no way judging. I personally don't talk about such things to friends because I myself feel it's sacred, I personally don't like to talk about such sacred stuff as this is my own belief. 


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Sounds like there is a big range - which is fine. Anyone noticed anything that correlates with the extent to which people discuss their personal lives?


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## no name (Aug 4, 2016)

uhtred said:


> Sounds like there is a big range - which is fine. Anyone noticed anything that correlates with the extent to which people discuss their personal lives?




Well this forum , we all chat about personal stuff. Although I am one to have limits. If it's personal I only talk about how it effects myself and my involvement. 


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

uhtred said:


> Sounds like there is a big range - which is fine. Anyone noticed anything that correlates with the extent to which people discuss their personal lives?


I personally have never talked about our sex life with friends. One thing I have noticed is this: I was the first one married in my group of childhood friends that remained close and still have a relationship. The others talked about their sex lives a lot. Then my best friend in the group got married and she stopped talking as much. 

There was one who talked non-stop and very detailed down to orgasms and such. She talked about good sex and bad sex. She got married in 2013 and when she got back from the honeymoon, I asked her how was it and winked. She just said it was great and when I made an indirect reference to sex, she just giggled and said "you're crazy". I haven't heard a peep from her since about sex.

I do find that interesting that the married ones in my circle of friends don't talk about their sex lives.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

no name said:


> That's fine being anonymous no issue there. I agree with that . I am simply stating that it is quite different to be talking about oneself and ones involvement in the issue with that person, then talking about others personal issues regardless of the subject, that doesn't actually involve yourself and was told in confidence to be discussed between each other. I wouldn't want my friends to be talking about anything I talked about in confidence to blab it in a forum even if anonymous. Thanks but there is also no need to apologise as I already do have this. Purely just putting this out there from a different perspective , I have no issue with you having to agree to it, so tone down the attitude please.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



You've made you opinion known. I have replied with mine. Now you make the same opinion known again. If you have no issue with me not agreeing, why come at me a second time stating the same thing you said the first time? If you don't like me attitude, don't ask for it.





uhtred said:


> Sounds like there is a big range - which is fine. Anyone noticed anything that correlates with the extent to which people discuss their personal lives?


It's been my experience that trust is the main factor in sharing. If a person doesn't trust they're not likely to be open about their personal life. If they do trust, they're more likely to go to the personal level.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Anon Pink said:


> *It's been my experience that trust is the main factor in sharing. If a person doesn't trust they're not likely to be open about their personal life. If they do trust, they're more likely to go to the personal level.*


I agree with this @Anon Pink ... Also ..its a personality thing....some people are just naturally more OPEN over other people too...

I am half introverted, so it's not like I am free flowing with anyone.. not so!... I would never never never be open with someone I felt didn't LIKE me, appreciate me, also may not be comfortable with certain talk...who may belittle me behind my back..I would shriek from these things....

I have been very open on this forum...figuring "what the he**" (I have my husband's blessing, maybe he's not normal...HE is more Introverted over me.. yet.. when it comes to sharing ...he's a very OPEN guy.... I dearly love this about him).. 

If someone I KNOW finds me here.. 1st of all.. if they know US well.. they wouldn't be a bit surprised with my postings.. they might even figure it out! A couple of my close girlfriends KNOW my username.. there is great trust between us.. 

Here is a question I have.. should we be ashamed of sharing openly here ?? Maybe some feel so...

I look at it this way... this is a marriage forum, a SEX FORUM even.. so talking openly about any of these things is completely commonplace.. that's what people DO....about a myriad of issues they need to vent about..... if no one shared openly, about our feelings, some of what I would call the "raw".. the good bad & ugly.. this place would NEVER have grown to the magnitude it has...

Anon , your friend who's always had to initiate her husband & got tired of this, nurturing him.. thank God she had YOU to talk to about it.. this surely helped her cope !!...just having a friend to confide in, it's very important for women (I've always felt so!).... 

I personally appreciate when someone TRUSTS me enough to open up to me.. 

I have 1 female friend, known her since 10th grade...she is by her nature...*a very private individual*.. . she doesn't even tell her children where she is going- when they were growing up saying it was "none of their business".. this is a common phrase of her.. *"It's none of anybody's business"... *

What I see now is her kids are saying this about her.. how "MOM never told me anything".... her son calls me Mom, he's taken more things to me over his own Mother...as he feels that freedom.... But I have a good feeling what someone is like when they are sensitive in this area.. still I can respect it... (she is more open with me , however, knowing I won't broach her trust) but she's a tough one.. I am sure in reality she may even frown on my stark openness at times. 

I used to go to a Mops group.. I was kinda quiet there.. hung with a select few women (in a group of maybe 20)... I wasn't one who talked a lot or who was overly friendly to everyone.... then when I had this sex drive increase... it kinda over took my brain.. and with those who I was closer to.... I was OPEN about it.. asking "Darn have You ever experienced anything this CRAZY??"... it opened up a conversation.. we had some good laughs.. but also we got more serious at times... I found some of them OPENING UP TO ME ...(but I was open / vulnerable first)...I didn't mind.... we were all married... then I had a party at my house.. I swear it will go down in history there.. because we had such a blast laughing about sex ! I must have said something.. can't remember now.. and that DID IT... they played off of it.. it was GRREEAATTTT... it got me coming out of my shell more than some of those women even knew.. I look back at that with fondness... 

I have always been "approachable" and easy to talk to...I ENJOY communicating.... I need to watch this out & about or I may have total strangers telling me their life story.. it's happened.. 

I was thinking yesterday I should come back to this thread & delete my posts because I KNOW others will Judge.... Next thought .... what good is any of us if we're not honest.. I appreciate honesty.... and hearing differences of opinions ...this is good ... I don't think this thread was intended to entrap us open people and shame us.. it was just a question...

You're mighty OK with me Anon ...I know we don't always think alike...but in this area...I "get you"... Due to your being Open.. you are a masterful helper in the sex section here... you know I've been blown away with how insightful some of your posts are... 

There is a place for all of us..


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

uhtred said:


> Sounds like there is a big range - which is fine. Anyone noticed anything that correlates with the extent to which people discuss their personal lives?


I'll discuss my personal life with friends, and love to share how happy I am that I'm in a good relationship right now. But, that doesn't cross over into sex talk. Other than ''he's amazing'' when describing how my bf is sexually, I don't go into detail. I have a friend who asks a lot lol but, that's all she's getting.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Here is a question I have.. should we be ashamed of sharing openly here ?? I think some may feel so...


This is a good question. I have been VERY open in some of my posts. But I'm VERY open with my closest friends and should they find me here, they wouldn't be learning anything new. They know my issues, my struggles, and my love of sex. They know I'm kinky and mostly crazy. 

Who knew? That's the part that I tend to second guess as I write a post. I ask myself if this would be news to my husband, does he already know this/should know this by now? If my answer is yes I post it. 

Sometimes the written word offers more clarity than the spoken word. Once I gave my husband all my info wrt TAM and invited him to join and participate, he was surprised to say the least. He was most taken by just how open I was here. When we discussed my level of openness, he admitted he hadn't *really* learned anything new but it felt new because by virtue of reading my words, he was paying attention to my words. And I hope he reads this too!

Having been married for 30 years we have agreed that our current marriage is version 3.1. The first 1/3 was parenting and home building. The second 1/3 was distance and disconnect. This final 1/3 is undoing the damage the first 2/3's caused. 

We're doing pretty well all in all. But I keep having difficulty with resentment. I have never been one to hold a grudge and tend to forgive pretty easily. It takes too much energy to be mad. Dealing with resentment is, I think, a slightly different beast than grudge holding, but it is similar to grudge holding. 

I think grudge holding is when forgiveness isn't given even though it's been asked for. I think resentment is when forgiveness isn't asked for and the treatment that caused the resentment hasn't been fully acknowledged.

Repent and sin no more...
Resentment is when forgiveness is expected as acknowledgment of 'sins no longer being committed.' But the first part, the 'repent' part is absent.

I get triggered sometimes and it takes me to a negative place for up to several days. I know this is my responsibility. However, I still feel like if he would acknowledge some things, if he would acknowledge the pain and disappointment he caused, maybe the resentment would stop flaring up.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Anon Pink said:


> This is a good question. I have been VERY open in some of my posts. But I'm VERY open with my closest friends and should they find me here, they wouldn't be learning anything new. They know my issues, my struggles, and my love of sex. They know I'm kinky and mostly crazy.
> 
> Who knew? That's the part that I tend to second guess as I write a post. I ask myself if this would be news to my husband, does he already know this/should know this by now? If my answer is yes I post it.


 I think that's a good rule of thumb... Anything I post we'd had deep discussions about .. long before...nothing new under our sun...



> Sometimes the written word offers more clarity than the spoken word. Once I gave my husband all my info wrt TAM and invited him to join and participate, he was surprised to say the least. He was most taken by just how open I was here. When we discussed my level of openness, he admitted he hadn't *really* learned anything new but it felt new because by virtue of reading my words, he was paying attention to my words. And I hope he reads this too!


 so he takes initial interest... doesn't sound like your husband is upset with your sharing how you feel... he's OK with your outlet here.. 



> Having been married for 30 years we have agreed that our current marriage is version 3.1. The first 1/3 was parenting and home building. The second 1/3 was distance and disconnect. This final 1/3 is undoing the damage the first 2/3's caused.


 You've really dug your heels in deep.. you are bound & determined to overcome -together...you know you're not alone in laying out something like this.. I just think the more raw emotions shared will help others see they are not alone, others been there, done that...it's a feeling of common connection even....



> We're doing pretty well all in all. But I keep having difficulty with resentment. I have never been one to hold a grudge and tend to forgive pretty easily. It takes too much energy to be mad. Dealing with resentment is, I think, a slightly different beast than grudge holding, but it is similar to grudge holding.
> 
> *I think grudge holding is when forgiveness isn't given even though it's been asked for. I think resentment is when forgiveness isn't asked for and the treatment that caused the resentment hasn't been fully acknowledged.*


 Very good explaining... I never thought about it before...I can easily understand your needing some acknowledgement.... I've shared how my husband just Can't do certain things for me.. I've had to accept this or I'd be banging my head against the wall... he does acknowledge though.. not what I want to hear ... but it's our truth..I have to accept him where he is too... every couple has something !

I'll admit... I'd grow resentment IF we couldn't openly talk about these things.. and he shut me out...so I'm thankful for this. 



> Repent and sin no more...
> Resentment is when forgiveness is expected as acknowledgment of 'sins no longer being committed.' But the first part, the 'repent' part is absent.
> 
> I get triggered sometimes and it takes me to a negative place for up to several days. I know this is my responsibility. However, I still feel like if he would acknowledge some things, if he would acknowledge the pain and disappointment he caused, maybe the resentment would stop flaring up.


((((hugs))))) Anon....it would surely make a difference in how you are feeling if he came forth showing understanding to your emotional struggle here....

Then trying to figure out if's it's a pride thing... they don't want to acknowledge they've let their wives down...or if they can't live up to something.. they will feel "weaker"... I don't know.. .Vulnerability is very scary for many..


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## no name (Aug 4, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> You've made you opinion known. I have replied with mine. Now you make the same opinion known again. If you have no issue with me not agreeing, why come at me a second time stating the same thing you said the first time? If you don't like me attitude, don't ask for it.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




why is it if someone is disagreeing with you warrants attitude in return, it's just another perspective and it's healthy. Back and forth is part of a natural conversation. I was simply clarifying. Having a difference of opinion is also a part of life, calm down. This is a forum after all. Let it be and let it go. I'm ending this here. 


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## Begin again (Jul 4, 2016)

Well, I don't get tons of detail, but I guess it depends on what you consider details. I have a friend who is very petite and she told me about how her man, who is over 6' and strong, literally held her upside down and ate her. Damn, I was jealous!
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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

No, I don't talk about sex to my friends, mom, or sister. I probably would, a little, if it was initiated. That's pretty private so not sure that I would disclose much. 

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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

uhtred said:


> I'm curious. In your experience is it common for women to discuss intimate details about their relationships / sex lives with other women?
> 
> At least in my social circle, it is almost never discussed between men - I know just one guy who talked about sex with his wife, and he was a complete ahole in a variety of ways.
> 
> ...


I do not discuss my bedroom antics with other men. That's for me and my W. My W will discuss our bedroom antics with her female friends. That does not bother me.


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## RyanWSU1975 (Aug 15, 2016)

My wife and her girlfriends all talk about all details. When her friends hook up with someone new, my wife always wants to know how big the guy's penis was. They talk about EVERYTHING.

Makes me crazy to be honest!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

uhtred said:


> I'm curious. In your experience is it common for women to discuss intimate details about their relationships / sex lives with other women?


I have never had a conversation about our sex life with anyone else. I have had very vague conversations with a very close friend when things we "not as good as we like" from a relationship standpoint very careful to not lay blame or vent about what an awful guy he is... It takes 2 to tango. And I never wanted to embitter our friends if things turned out either well or not. I have heard some stuff about relationship problems from 2 of my friends. But nothing serious.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

I used to NEVER talk about my sex life with girlfriends, and vice versa. But since getting involved in the kink community, my attitude about that has changed a little. My vanilla friends don't get to hear anything about my sex life--except for the few vanilla friends who are super curious about the kink lifestyle, and with them I still give very limited details. But I have a few girlfriends who are into kink, and I feel very comfortable talking with them about my sex life (and vice versa). The level of detail varies, as there are some things I like to keep for myself, but considering that my current partner is into exhibitionism, there isn't much about our sex life that is private anymore. And it really turns him on to know that I've been talking about our sex life to other people. So it works for both of us.


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## Buffon06 (Aug 14, 2016)

Guy here, and I have not really talked about my sex life to any other guys since college. I was a college athlete and in a fraternity, and of course there was a lot of banter about recent sexual conquests, who we would like to f*ck, etc.

My wife on the other hand, will talk about our sex life in very vague and general terms in certain social situations, but only when asked or otherwise prompted to do so.

I do know she has one or two very close lifelong friends with whom she talks about sex in very detailed and explicit terms. One friend in particular was going through a separation and lamenting her lack of sexual options and they discussed vibrators at length, my wife asking pretty graphic questions and making recommendations.

My wife is generally a very private person, but I have overheard phone conversations over the years with her very close friends and have been shocked by what I have heard her describe (mostly intimate acts that we have done that she enjoys). At the end of the day, I really don't have any problems with her telling her friends, as long as she is willing to have open and uninhibited sex conversations with me (which can be very hit or miss at times).


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

My wife and at least one friend do (friend has sex all the time) - I've heard about how they got walked in on by their child, how they've done it on her desk at work, how they got busted in a car, how they did it in the shower, how he goes down on her, etc. 

OTOH, only thing my friends and I ever say about this is now we never get any (I don't say about how I've only had it five times in six years, more like a general "what is this sex that you speak of?"


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

My friends and I will sometimes talk about sex in general terms, but never about our own sex lives with our husbands. I wouldn't betray my husband like that, and I'd be furious if he betrayed me.

The only exception was one of our friends did talk to me about a sexual problem she was having in her marriage (well, her husband was experiencing some problems), but it was from a loving place, she was upset, worried about her husband - and she knows she can trust me...the conversation stayed between us.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Intimate details about partners are never shared in the circles I've been in since being married. Note we may discuss sex, but just as sex in general.

When I was young it was a bit different.


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