# I need help



## my3angels (Jul 26, 2010)

My husband put me into the position of having a threesome with one of my best friends and now he is trying to do it again. This time he wants us to have a girlfriend. He tells me that i never do anything his way that it is always my way. I don't see it. I do everything he wants. EVERYTHING. I was not raised like this. I was raised that it is wrong for a man to lay with a man and wrong for a woman to lay with a woman. I am so conflicted. I love this man with all my heart but now I have this perminate knot in my stomach because of this. I want to make him happy but at what cost to my myself.  i am so confused and hurt I just dont know what to do.


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

He has totally used you for his own sexual fetish. I am going on the little you have written 

I will not ask if you were excited in the first threesome but.. for now … lets assume not… 

Play hardball, tell him to leave as he as abused and manipulated you. Do not let him even talk about it, this is not your scene and it will get worse… 

If he does not stop, for your own well being get out NOW. Your life comes first and from what you are saying you are feeling sick about what happened. 

Perhaps a better option is for you to step out of the marriage go to your folks and get time to think without him pressing you all the time.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

my3angels said:


> My husband put me into the position of having a threesome with one of my best friends


That is absurd. No one can make you do anything. You put yourself in that position because you need self esteem.

Counseling can help you to understand you are supposed to love yourself more and respect yourself more than anyone else. If all your heart goes to him, where is any left for yourself. If you had self esteem and sense of self worth, you would not do anything you don't want to do and nothing that makes you uncomfortable just because someone asked you to do it. And, you would know what to do right now.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Just say no.


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

If you aren't comfortable doing it, then don't do it. Tell your husband and stand firm against what comes next. You can't always make your husband happy, especially at a large cost to you. Chances are, you could do everything he asks of you and probably still not be happy because that is his choice to be happy.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

Don't do it.

I am a prime example of what happens when you spend all your time trying to make someone else happy. While I never was proposed to a threesome, I've spent the last 5 years of my life trying to support my husband in everything he did, cost us, screwed up, and never finished. I put my entire life on hold, guess where it got me? Nowhere, except sitting on his sisters couch watching date rape guy preach to me about "good christian marriage"

what a joke.

if it makes you uncomfortable to that extent, don't do it. Don't let him, because every time you see him, thats what you're going to think of and it will only make things worse. I'm already at that point too. 

remember your own values, remember what you do and don't like, and start from there, its amazing the personal growth you gain from that starting point..you can't slave your life away to someone else, it will never be enough, ever.

you didn't like it the first time, you'll hate it the second time, and he's going to expect a next time. prevent it while you can.


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## Daisy_Dazed (Jul 26, 2010)

The first mistake was not stopping it the first time; don't make the same mistake again. There is no way he should be forcing an issue that clearly makes you uncomfortable, etc. You need to with great clarity let him know what your boundaries are, and if he isn't able to deal with that, then you both need re-think your marriage.


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