# While you are in-between relationships...



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

...would you consider experimenting with things you didn't do when you were married, like maybe polyamory or something like that? (If you don't agree with this, btw, please move along. I don't want to be lectured about whether it's moral or not. Thank you.)
I've always had a pretty strong sex drive, but only really acted on it with STBXH. We were both fairly uninhibited with each other, as far as things we were willing to do together, but as he became more emotionally abusive, I felt less comfortable being as free as I used to. I expected the connection between sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy, and it was no longer there. I am not very hopeful that I will find another love/partner-type relationship where I can find someone with the same level of curiosity and drive. And vibrators, etc., just aren't doing it for me anymore. I'm thinking maybe I should separate the two types of intimacy for now.

I found out that there is a group active in my city (Boy, was I surprised!) that meets a few times a month at a couple of local coffee houses for 'meet & greet' sessions, and then at various times at, erm, private houses for, erm, other things.

I'm so tempted to check it out. I've looked at their site, and they are very strict on testing, safety, respect, consensual activity, etc. And a lot of the people look and seem very 'normal' -- like me?! I figure if I'm going to ever try something like that, this would be the time in my life to do it.

Anyone else ever been tempted? Anyone else ever tried it or currently involved? 

I'm so nervous posting this! But I figure, WTF, we're all adults, right?


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> ...would you consider experimenting with things you didn't do when you were married, like maybe polyamory or something like that? (If you don't agree with this, btw, please move along. I don't want to be lectured about whether it's moral or not. Thank you.)
> I've always had a pretty strong sex drive, but only really acted on it with STBXH. We were both fairly uninhibited with each other, as far as things we were willing to do together, but as he became more emotionally abusive, I felt less comfortable being as free as I used to. I expected the connection between sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy, and it was no longer there. I am not very hopeful that I will find another love/partner-type relationship where I can find someone with the same level of curiosity and drive. And vibrators, etc., just aren't doing it for me anymore. I'm thinking maybe I should separate the two types of intimacy for now.
> 
> I found out that there is a group active in my city (Boy, was I surprised!) that meets a few times a month at a couple of local coffee houses for 'meet & greet' sessions, and then at various times at, erm, private houses for, erm, other things.
> ...


. Pls see my message
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Unhappy2011 (Dec 28, 2011)

Why would you be nervous when you post anonymously.

I say go for whatever makes you happy. Life is best when filled with different experiences.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Unhappy2011 said:


> Why would you be nervous when you post anonymously.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Because it's not something I've ever seen discussed on a thread with average, every day people, and I don't want to appear s!utty, even anonymously.  You're right, though.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

angel, I too recently divorced am hoping to use the opportunity to sow some wild oats, though I never have before so I don't even know my boundaries yet (I think they are much further then I ever would admit in person)

Where you live? 

Just kidding, seriously inappropriate joke for the women's section of a marriage self-help site, but I just felt compelled to say it, playful banter and all...


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I did go to a party with a group that had a lot of swingers and poly people. It wasn't called a meet and greet but that's what it turned into!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

angelpixie said:


> (If you don't agree with this, btw, please move along. I don't want to be lectured about whether it's moral or not. Thank you.)


moving along


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Do it while you're single. Get it all out of your system. Unless of course, you marry a man with equal desires.

I've never done the polyamoury stuff, but many times, I've had more than one lover at a time (but not at the same time).

If it feels good, do it. Just make sure you don't hurt anyone, especially YOURSELF.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

After my divorce I was seeing a guy 12 years younger and a guy 12 years older at the same time. I
got a lot out of my system because I felt like I would never be in a relationship again. It is hard sometimes adjusting to monogamy and dealing with sexual issues. Can't just go to the guy who likes oral when the other guy isn't into it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

Do what make you happy, no matter the judgment! Experience life what the eck!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I agree--if you want to, go ahead; this is the time. There are 2 downsides I can think of: catching something, or having this part of your past be an issue when you meet someone down the road. In the latter case, I'd be relieved to find out ahead of time that someone would judge me for my past--so that "downside" would not really be a downside.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks for your support and responses, everyone! (And no offense taken, Lon -- those jokes come with the territory  )


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Angel, I know this is the ladies forum and I am a guy, but...

This is your life, not anybody else's. You have the right to your own value system and to seek your own happiness. So I would say you should explore anything you would like to as long as it isn't harmful to others.

The only advice I would offer is to start slow after your divorce. Joining a gangbang your first weekend single might be something you regret later. Take a few months to relax. Then do some low key not-really-a-date get togethers with men. The risk of a rebound romance seems to me to be the biggest thing I would want to avoid right after the divorce.

Then go ahead and start seeing what is out there that you are interested in.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Thor said:


> The only advice I would offer is to start slow after your divorce. Joining a gangbang your first weekend single might be something you regret later.


*SO* not what I had in mind, but I understand what you're saying about rebound. STBXH is already glued to the side of OW, and it's really pathetic. But then, so is what you mentioned above.


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