# another pornography question...



## frozensprouts (Aug 1, 2009)

my husband and I ave been married a little over 13 years now, and we have 3 great kids. Two of our kids have neurological problems ( autism, aspergr's and chronic pain syndrome) and my husband's job can be stressful.

My husband looks at pornography on our netbook a few times a day, which I don't really mind, as long as it isn't interfering with other things that are going on. I told him that I didn't mind, as it sees like something a lot of guys d and I wasn't interested in t myself, but I didn't mind if he looked at it.

Lately though, something has changed a bit. we are still having sex a lot ( usually a few times a day) and he is looking at pornography a few times a day, but he has been asking me to do some of the things he has seen in the pornography ( kind of "me and him and another female" kind of thing). I have tried to keep an open mind, but just don't want to do that and told him that. i told him that I wasn't judging him for wanting to, but that I wasn't interested.

now he has started looking at pornography even more ( spends at least an hour a day doing so) and it is starting to get on my nerves. He also won't stop asking me to do the things he sees even though I have told him I don't want to. The other day I was trying to find a link in our web history, and was kind of shocked at the titles of the web sites he had visited ( "teen lesbians" kind of thing- I am assuming that they are legal age- at least I hope so)

Is this normal... I know all guys think about this kind of stuff, ( or at least they seem to) but it seems to be turning into a bit of an obsession for him. I am trying to figure out the best course of action, and any advice would help.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

(guy here) yes he does sound obsessed. its actually kind of brazen of him to flat out ask you to do things like that. no you shouldnt do anything your uncomfortable with.


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## kaladarr (Sep 17, 2010)

Yeah . I would call it definitely crossing the line of what not to do.
He sounds like someone looking for the next "fix" like a junkie with drugs.
If you can talk to him about it, it would be in his best interests to accept that he has a sex addiction problem and take some appropriate measures to halt this behavior. 
It sounds as if it really affecting you. I think it should affect you.
If he does not change, he could end up completely alienating you and seeking actual physical fulfillment with younger partners as well as multiple.
Not good for a monogamous marriage.
I would say try and "feel out" whether he will be open to the idea of change.
Good luck. These are not good signs.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Y'all have been married 13 years and get it on "a few times a day."?
God bless you both. I've heard that guys fantasize about seeing their woman with another woman. I don't want to see my wife having sex with anyone but me, so the rule doesn't apply to all men. Maybe you could tell him that if he has energy left to take care of another woman, he needs to pick up the pace a little.


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## MotoDude (Sep 15, 2010)

dude here- wow, a few times a day, lucky bastid (in nice way), and agreed, I would not share my wife with anyone but myself (just me, me, me, me, me), tell your husband to keep porn as porn, dont try to act on it.

I can understand anal tho.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

You could also suggest making your own porn. Keeps things interesting, and keeps him engaged ... with you. 

My ex did this and at the time I thought she was the coolest woman on the planet.

The only other piece to consider is making boundaries clear. If you and he record your own content, there have been stories here about husbands then posting that content on the net - without the wife's awareness.

Despite our issues I have never, and would never break that trust.


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## chingchang (Sep 21, 2010)

frozensprouts said:


> my husband and I ave been married a little over 13 years now, and we have 3 great kids. Two of our kids have neurological problems ( autism, aspergr's and chronic pain syndrome) and my husband's job can be stressful.
> 
> My husband looks at pornography on our netbook a few times a day, which I don't really mind, as long as it isn't interfering with other things that are going on. I told him that I didn't mind, as it sees like something a lot of guys d and I wasn't interested in t myself, but I didn't mind if he looked at it.
> 
> ...


Have brutally honest...calm talk about what is bothering you and he will respond...hopefully.

CC


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

Porn can be addictive and your husband is hooked. 

Unless you have expressed a desire to be with a women his suggestion to have a 3 some is a little "off" 

I don't buy into the notion that he will seek other relationships with young women or multiples but, do think he needs watch less.


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