# She doesn't want kids



## lolken (Mar 30, 2018)

So me and this girl have been talking for a while, and somehow we managed to bring up having kids but she said she doesn't want a kid because of her future career, but I do. What should be my take on this ?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

If she doesn't want kids, and you do, then what can the future be other than one having to give up their dreams for the other? Find a woman that wants kids also.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

*raised eyebrow*

Your take on this should be that she doesn't want children. So, if you do, the two of you wouldn't be compatible.

I'd say for most situations in life, it's best to take people at their word. What they say doesn't have to be analyzed or interpreted - no reading between the lines. We don't have to take on the burden to convince or change someone's mind.

Just accept it. And if it doesn't suit you, walk away.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Be glad you found out now. Move on.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

lolken said:


> she said she doesn't want a kid because of her future career, but I do. What should be my take on this ?


Before investing more time in this new relationship, you should take her at her word and find someone else that also shares your desire for children.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Kids are something both need to agree on. Its too important for compromise.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

If she loves you, loves you a lot...

When your feet start heading out the door, her's remaining planted.
Her views of children may change, may become less slanted.

On her career...

Tell her-
Children can still be included.

Just more expensively. 
Where daycare and nannies do the duties, the diapering, the chasing.

She would be inconvenienced but two months. A month prior, a month after.
You and the others filling in for her......
Until the baby becomes a walking talking rug rat. 

Then a beautiful five year old.
A lot less work, still plenty of joy.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

On this...

It may be 'you' that she wants no kids with..

A women madly in love would never, ever let her man get away. 
Not for this, not for anything short of malice.

Put her love to the test.

Give her the either/or.

See if she gives you the heave-ho!


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Not having kids is one of the few decisions in a relationship that can be made without having to compromise. For most other things--like money, lifestyle, jobs, etc--the couple can come to a reasonable compromise because the outcome can be managed. But kids inject an endless amount of stress and unpredictability. If someone is not into that lifestyle, they should not be forced or convinced to be a parent.

It's true that many people become fine parents even though they didn't plan on it, but there are many people who want no part of it and will distance themselves from the situation any way they can. If you want kids and want your wife to also be a parent, you should find someone who wants kids as well.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lolken said:


> So me and this girl have been talking for a while, and somehow we managed to bring up having kids but she said she doesn't want a kid because of her future career, but I do. What should be my take on this ?


Jesus Christ dude you have been talking to this girl for less than a week and you allready bring up the subject of children.Will you slow the **** down.
What age are you?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Should "girls" be having children, anyway?


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## Saige (Oct 23, 2011)

Believe her.... and accept it or don't. As in agree that you will never have kids if you stay with her, or leave and find someone you can share a family with later.


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## lolken (Mar 30, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> Jesus Christ dude you have been talking to this girl for less than a week and you allready bring up the subject of children.Will you slow the **** down.
> What age are you?


Where in my statement did I say we have been speaking for a week ?


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## lolken (Mar 30, 2018)

@Everyone I also don't want kids now I am too young for that this was just a topic of discussion because I want one in the future


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> On this...
> 
> It may be 'you' that she wants no kids with..
> 
> A women madly in love would never, ever let her man get away.


:surprise: :scratchhead::|


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

NobodySpecial said:


> :surprise: :scratchhead::|


I guess, I fear that you have never 'really' been in love.

There is no.....no.

it must be. It just must.

Must be.

When you find the one, how can you 'let' them turn around and walk away.

Over something like this? 

We shall see, with this OP and his GF.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lolken said:


> Where in my statement did I say we have been speaking for a week ?


I’ve read your other threads,I’m on a transatlantic flight,everyone else seems to be asleep and I have nothing else to do.
I wish I had.


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## lolken (Mar 30, 2018)

Livvie said:


> Should "girls" be having children, anyway?





Andy1001 said:


> I’ve read your other threads,I’m on a transatlantic flight,everyone else seems to be asleep and I have nothing else to do.
> I wish I had.


Haha I talk about a different in most of my threads trust me I am single like a dollar bill :grin2:I am actually testing the water before running into anything with the females I am talking to


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> I’ve read your other threads,I’m on a transatlantic flight,everyone else seems to be asleep and I have nothing else to do.
> I wish I had.


Abeam Halifax? And everyone is asleep, I can’t do that, the lights will be turned on before Kimmel’s monologue is done.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

CharlieParker said:


> Abeam Halifax? And everyone is asleep, I can’t do that, the lights will be turned on before Kimmel’s monologue is done.


Heathrow to Logan.Flight was ninety minutes late leaving so it will be midnight when we land.


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## SA2017 (Dec 27, 2016)

lolken said:


> So me and this girl have been talking for a while, and somehow we managed to bring up having kids but she said she doesn't want a kid because of her future career, but I do. What should be my take on this ?



move on. this is not good and there is no way to make a compromise.


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## SA2017 (Dec 27, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> Jesus Christ dude you have been talking to this girl for less than a week and you allready bring up the subject of children.Will you slow the **** down.
> What age are you?




please do not use Christ's name if you curse in the same sentence.


Also, I am strongly disagree....why wasting time and NOT talk about basic subjects like these?

I asked many questions that were important to ME (when I was dating back then) and that was my filter. If they had a complete other plan of life...NEXT.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

If you've only known her a week, then don't worry about it. Chances are, there are 100's of other things that will cause your breakup long before you'd get married. Even if this isn't your perfect long-term relationship, you can still enjoy things in the moment and gain relationship experience.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> Heathrow to Logan.Flight was ninety minutes late leaving so it will be midnight when we land.


Late (as in scheduled late, delays suck) westbound flight, I approve.

More on topic. We chose, after marriage, to not have kids. We both thought we would because that’s what adults do, but as time went on our deal became it would take two yeses to do it. We didn’t. We are both In IT, I don’t worry about getting my butt wiped, I worry about a lack of grandchild tech support.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Lots of people count on marriage to change their spouse into the person they want, and it pretty much always works out, so I would run with the wishful thinking.

But seriously, you're getting good advice.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

lolken said:


> So me and this girl have been talking for a while, and somehow we managed to bring up having kids but she said she doesn't want a kid because of her future career, but I do. What should be my take on this ?


Find yourself someone that wants kids as well.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

NobodySpecial said:


> :surprise: :scratchhead::|


It was perfectly clear wasn’t it.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

lolken said:


> @Everyone I also don't want kids now I am too young for that this was just a topic of discussion because I want one in the future


So is it that she never wants kids or just not now?

Do you ever want kids?

If she never wants kids and you do one day then this will not end well.


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## lolken (Mar 30, 2018)

ABHale said:


> So is it that she never wants kids or just not now?
> 
> Do you ever want kids?
> 
> If she never wants kids and you do one day then this will not end well.


I do in future and she said she may not want in the future because of her career


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> I guess, I fear that you have never 'really' been in love.
> 
> There is no.....no.
> 
> ...


This is a silly game. If HE found the one, how can he let her "turn and walk away" over something like this? No way. I am lucky. My true love and I share our view of what we want. But I would not saddle someone I love with something as important as kids he did not want nor would saddle him with out kids if he wanted them. That is not love. That is not forever family.


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