# Did any of you marry the sweet "boring" girl?



## reboot

My first love came in my 20s. She wasn't much to look at but I had a very strong physical attraction to her that I remember feeling the first time I was in a room with her before I even knew her name.

She adored me. She was younger and like a golden retriever at my feet. I sailed to the clouds on boyish feelings of love and then to the moon on hormonal afterburners.

Long story short, I got bored with her and dumped her the moment I met a more mature, more interesting woman. Her parents did not like me and I wanted to preserve her honor and avoid being shot by her father, so that made it easier to let go.

Now 15 years into a toxic, loveless marriage, I wonder if she wasn't the one I should have married.

*Did any of you marry "that" girl? How did it work out?*

I am a realist now. I know my being bored with her intellectually would have become more of a problem, and my relational inexperience would have meant being married to her when I met more interesting and mature (and tempting) women for the first time.

But still, in 15 years of marriage I cannot recall a feeling as sweet as me touching her face and having her put her head on my shoulder and just feeling love with no barrier or hang-ups. Would that have lasted? I'll never know.


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## rockon

This is a woulda shoulda coulda moment, we all have them. Memories of our past is good, but to dwell on them and wonder "what if" can drive you crazy. 

Have fond memories of her, but concentrate on the present.


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## TX-SC

Although not boring per se, I did marry a rather sedate woman when compared to others I dated. Her idea of excitement is a walk in the park, where I enjoy mountain biking and the such. I'm not overly wild either, but definitely more than she is. Can I say she is a better wife than someone more wild? Probably not. I think every person should be taken on their own merits, not based on how boring they may seem to be. 

It is common to fantasize about what could have been, especially after having a bad marriage, but just realize that every relationship has hurtles and hardships. There's no guarantee that this other woman would have been a perfect spouse.


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## MrsAldi

reboot said:


> My first love came in my 20s. She wasn't much to look at but I had a very strong physical attraction to her that I remember feeling the first time I was in a room with her before I even knew her name.
> 
> She adored me. She was younger and like a golden retriever at my feet. I sailed to the clouds on boyish feelings of love and then to the moon on hormonal afterburners.
> 
> Long story short, I got bored with her and dumped her the moment I met a more mature, more interesting woman. Her parents did not like me and I wanted to preserve her honor and avoid being shot by her father, so that made it easier to let go.
> 
> Now 15 years into a toxic, loveless marriage, I wonder if she wasn't the one I should have married.
> 
> *Did any of you marry "that" girl? How did it work out?*
> 
> I am a realist now. I know my being bored with her intellectually would have become more of a problem, and my relational inexperience would have meant being married to her when I met more interesting and mature (and tempting) women for the first time.
> 
> But still, in 15 years of marriage I cannot recall a feeling as sweet as me touching her face and having her put her head on my shoulder and just feeling love with no barrier or hang-ups. Would that have lasted? I'll never know.


Which one is your wife? 
The one that you compared with a dog or the one that is more interesting but cold?



Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## WonkyNinja

The toxic loveless marriage and the girl you were with in your 20's are unrelated and you need to keep them so you could have been equally miserable married to her if things didn't work out and there was a reason you moved on.

If you are in a toxic loveless marriage then any other happy relationship would seem preferable. I remember many nights lying on the opposite side of the bed from my XW, who didn't like to be touched when she was in bed or asleep, thinking back through previous relationships and how good they were and wondering why the he11 I finished them.

You need to address the toxic loveless marriage first. Find out why and either sort it out or move on. If it's toxic and loveless for you then it probably is for her as well. If you have kids then you are setting them a dreadful example for their future relationships by staying together and miserable.


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## GuyInColorado

WonkyNinja is spot on. I used to think about all of past relationships when I was married. My marriage was loveless, sexless, etc for most of the 8 years. When I finally got the balls to divorce her and start my life over, I've never been so happy. Found a girl I'm much more compatible with and have amazing sex 5x+ a week.


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## tropicalbeachiwish

GuyInColorado said:


> WonkyNinja is spot on. I used to think about all of past relationships when I was married. My marriage was loveless, sexless, etc for most of the 8 years. When I finally got the balls to divorce her and start my life over, I've never been so happy. Found a girl I'm much more compatible with and have amazing sex 5x+ a week.


So, when are you getting married? :grin2:


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## BobSimmons

reboot said:


> I got bored with her and dumped her the moment I met a more mature, more interesting woman.
> 
> I am a realist now. I know my being bored with her intellectually would have become more of a problem, and my relational inexperience would have meant being married to her when I met more interesting and mature (and tempting) women for the first time.


Nah you dumped her because you thought the grass was greener. Probably took for granted that a girl could be into you so completely so when a challenge arose, you being put on that pedestal by her, your ego thought why not?

Interesting you're looking back at her, and not the others you've dated. And why would she be boring now? No room for personal growth, all these years you don't think she's changed?

It's interesting because even now you're sort of looking down at her and have her pigeon holed as sweet but boring.


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## reboot

I needed more relationships prior to getting married. I was emotionally immature and delayed in relationships, and had little self-respect. I am also a rescuer/fixer type who once sincerely believed that love conquers all.

One insight I have gained is that I am attracted to "interesting" women who clearly have a dark and stormy emotional side, traumatic past, etc. I think it's some unconscious impulse to want to fix them based on being forced into the role of emotional surrogate husband to my mother who was abandoned by my father.

In any case, I still almost cry at this video 



 around the 3:50 mark.


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## Rowan

reboot said:


> One insight I have gained is that I am attracted to "interesting" women who clearly have a dark and stormy emotional side, traumatic past, etc. I think it's some unconscious impulse to want to fix them based on being forced into the role of emotional surrogate husband to my mother who was abandoned by my father.


So, what you're basically saying is that you find emotionally healthy women "boring" because they lack the level of crazy you're attracted to. But I'd imagine you also find yourself repelled by that same level of crazy on down the line, when it becomes clear that the awesome power of your amazing love isn't quite enough to heal the damage you were once so attracted to. As it turns out, _living with the reality _of hot and crazy isn't quite as much fun as _imagining_ magically healing the crazy - while imagining also keeping the hot - was.

The "boring" girl might just have been too emotionally healthy for your tastes. Interesting, though, that you seem to feel superior to her, describing her as dog-like and dull in a manner that conveys contempt for her, while it's clear you've got some pretty impressive baggage of your own. Perhaps some time with an excellent therapist might help you figure out how to overcome what seems a raging case of KISA combined with a high need for drama.


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## Married but Happy

tropicalbeachiwish said:


> So, when are you getting married? :grin2:


Why do you want him to ruin his great relationship? 0


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## Todd Haberdasher

I married "safe". I know my wife will never leave me or cheat on me. She will always have a reasonably tasty meal waiting for me. She will be a good mother. But there is nothing remotely interesting about her and every conversation is a giant chore.


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## sokillme

reboot said:


> I needed more relationships prior to getting married. I was emotionally immature and delayed in relationships, and had little self-respect. I am also a rescuer/fixer type who once sincerely believed that love conquers all.
> 
> One insight I have gained is that I am attracted to "interesting" women who clearly have a dark and stormy emotional side, traumatic past, etc. I think it's some unconscious impulse to want to fix them based on being forced into the role of emotional surrogate husband to my mother who was abandoned by my father.
> 
> In any case, I still almost cry at this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo_nrcKUffw around the 3:50 mark.


No wonder your depressed watching that over and over.


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## sokillme

Rowan said:


> So, what you're basically saying is that you find emotionally healthy women "boring" because they lack the level of crazy you're attracted to. But I'd imagine you also find yourself repelled by that same level of crazy on down the line, when it becomes clear that the awesome power of your amazing love isn't quite enough to heal the damage you were once so attracted to. As it turns out, _living with the reality _of hot and crazy isn't quite as much fun as _imagining_ magically healing the crazy - while imagining also keeping the hot - was.
> 
> The "boring" girl might just have been too emotionally healthy for your tastes. Interesting, though, that you seem to feel superior to her, describing her as dog-like and dull in a manner that conveys contempt for her, while it's clear you've got some pretty impressive baggage of your own. Perhaps some time with an excellent therapist might help you figure out how to overcome what seems a raging case of KISA combined with a high need for drama.


Yep guys version of the girl who likes the bad boy. KISA, codependency is strong in these posts. 

Also in my mind very few women are boring, if she is she is just not with the right man.


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## Vinnydee

I married a 20 year old virgin who never even had a steady boyfriend or tried oral sex before. She has a good heart and believed in the old fashion role of a wife. She did not do much due to her alcoholic and strict father. She was the sweetest girl I even dated and so unlike the girls I had dated and got engaged to. I went for sexually experienced and kinky girls who were cheerleaders or ex cheerleaders. The girl I lived with for the year before I met my wife was an ex cheerleader and sex addict. She was kinky as heck.

To go from a sex machine to a very petite virgin was a complete break in who I normally dated. I just fell in love with her the first time I saw her on a train. 3 weeks later we were engaged and married 8 months after that. She came from an abusive unemployed father and house in disrepair. She was so grateful for me marrying her and I wanted to show her that the rest of her life will not be lousy as it had been living with violent alcoholic parents. 

She was sweet and unsullied when I met her. Within a month after meeting me, we were engaged and she was no longer a virgin. She was smoking weed daily with me and our friends. I taught her all about sex and she was an eager and good learner. Seven years after we married she was wife swapping, foursomes, threesomes and more with me after realizing that girls were attracted to me and seducing me until I gave in. Now I had money and success as well as good looks and many women are attracted to at least one of those things. Rather than leave me, knowing I was poly before we married, she decided to join me. We dabbled in various forms of group sex together, but ultimately did not like having sex with others. What we liked was the sex my wife and I had when we got home. That was the time that my wife was struggling with her sexuality and started to invite girls over for a threesome using me as bait. 

Long story short, we ended up moving in my wife's best friend since childhood. She became our lover for most of our 44 year of marriage. They girls were both sweet but sexually adventurous, saying yes to anything I asked them to do sexually. I can watch a porn movie and say, been there and done that but with two girls not one. My wife is still sweet and everyone likes her, even babies and animals. She will do anything for a friend. For the last 7 years we have been monogamous since moving away from our girlfriend. At our age monogamy fits our age and medical condition, so after a few years of adjusting to just two in bed, we have made it work using a new fetish that fits our current circumstance. We never were into vanilla sex, never. So I married a sweet girl who did nothing. Had no boyfriends and had to go straight home after school due to her abusive father who beat her for anything she did that displeased him. To her friends she was boring. To me she was boring since I always was with hot and very sexually active girls. In a few years I took her to the dark side. She is no longer boring but still sweet as the day I met her 45 years ago. I gave her the lifestyle she never dreamed she would have and she gave me the sex life that many men would kill for. Sweet and kinky, not boring anymore.


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## Cooper

I dated that sweet boring girl for 4 years after highschool, I got into partying and left her behind. Fast forward 25 years and I was divorced so I looked her up and we got together a few times. Man did I dodge a bullet! Her life was an absolute train wreck by her poor decisions. 

After a couple of dates my memory of that sweet quiet cute girl were soiled forever.

For the record I married the super hot party girl, that didn't work out so well either. I grew and matured but she didn't.


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## wild jade

You're wondering if you should've married a golden retriever? SMH!


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## NextTimeAround

My sister and I have pieced together our experiences, direct and vicarious, with men to try to find a pattern. I was told in the last year of my marriage from I had once considered a friend that “men don’t like drama.” Absolute worst advice.
Given my experiences with both my first and current husbands, I conclude that men do like (a measure of) drama and, moreover, drama comes in different flavors.

My first husband, English, liked the women who were passive aggressive. You know, those types who are never seen doing anything and never heard saying anything, but can nicely purse their lips into a smirk. 

My current husband, based on his socalled BFF that he was trying to drag into the future. It seems to me that he liked that “in your face behavior.” And she was good for that. Calling him A$$hole in text messages, as if that were his name. And he also defended her – for a hot minute when I refused to accept it – when I discovered that she was giving him advice on OUR relationship. 

I am trying to figure out ways to get a feel for people’s values. One way is to watch TV, films, comment on blogs together in conversation with one another. That does give insight. One time he and I were looking at Huffingtonpost online. It was the page of Pau lina P orizko va. He offered freely that he thought she was so cool because she had the balls to put down her own profession even though that’s what made her rich and famous. Bingo!

I’ve noticed that sometimes men will say, with a gleam in their eye, “You really know where she stands.” Or “She really speaks her mind.” Diplomacy accounts for nothing here. Those guys like women who are feisty – to some degree. The trick is to figure to what degree. And to make sure that there is only feisty woman in his life. 

What other types of drama do some men like? The Damsel in distress, the Madonna, because he took care of HER kids, he’ll put up with anything just to be able to hang around……. Encountered that in college.

These days with my husband, when he is right, I concede, when I am right and he won't concede, I tell him to F--- off. It seems to work for us. So feisty lite.

What say you, you guys (male, female)?


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## ConanHub

reboot said:


> I needed more relationships prior to getting married. I was emotionally immature and delayed in relationships, and had little self-respect. I am also a rescuer/fixer type who once sincerely believed that love conquers all.
> 
> One insight I have gained is that I am attracted to "interesting" women who clearly have a dark and stormy emotional side, traumatic past, etc. I think it's some unconscious impulse to want to fix them based on being forced into the role of emotional surrogate husband to my mother who was abandoned by my father.
> 
> In any case, I still almost cry at this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo_nrcKUffw around the 3:50 mark.


DAMN!

That is fd up man! Is this you?


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## brooklynAnn

Todd Haberdasher said:


> I married "safe". I know my wife will never leave me or cheat on me. She will always have a reasonably tasty meal waiting for me. She will be a good mother. But there is nothing remotely interesting about her and every conversation is a giant chore.


This is so freaking sad. I wonder what she will say if she knew this is how you saw her.


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## Mr The Other

reboot said:


> I needed more relationships prior to getting married. I was emotionally immature and delayed in relationships, and had little self-respect. I am also a rescuer/fixer type who once sincerely believed that love conquers all.
> 
> One insight I have gained is that I am attracted to "interesting" women who clearly have a dark and stormy emotional side, traumatic past, etc. I think it's some unconscious impulse to want to fix them based on being forced into the role of emotional surrogate husband to my mother who was abandoned by my father.
> 
> In any case, I still almost cry at this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo_nrcKUffw around the 3:50 mark.


The urge to prove yourself worthy of the girl. Sorry, mate.


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## Married but Happy

Hmm - feisty. Well, I want (and have) a wife who mostly shares my values and attitudes, but has her own opinion, can express it well (and usually tactfully), and won't tolerate condescension or rudeness from me or anyone. She is quite capable of solving her own problems, but we are a team and help each other when we can. She's usually sweet to me, but she reminds me that she is not sweet. I have to agree! lol And she is never boring or stuck in a rut.


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## Todd Haberdasher

brooklynAnn said:


> This is so freaking sad. I wonder what she will say if she knew this is how you saw her.


Incredibly hurt is my guess. She appears to genuinely love me and think I am a great husband.

Like, if she hated me my decision would be clear.


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## *Deidre*

@ reboot - is ''boring'' really the opposite of ''interesting,'' to you, or is it really the opposite of ''volatile, drama, etc?''

There are plenty of interesting, healthy minded women who have pasts, but don't expect men to heal them from their pasts.


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## Celtic

My partner describes herself as boring though I don't always see that as a negative, more of a difference between us and how we view things. 

She's always had what you would call a comfortable life. Sailed through high school, family vacations twice a year, a decent office job, lives in the same neighbourhood as her parents and siblings (also where she grew up) so she's never had to push past her comfort zone. Me on the other hand was orphaned at 8, grew up in a run down children's home (my siblings were adopted), got into trouble during my youth, have never had a family vacation or holiday and have worked my way around the world with some amazing adventures.

I do see her limited experience when we discuss different opinions. She often assumes that if her, her parents and her neighbours do something then the entire world must do it exactly the same too. Or if something requires a push and some effort it can greatly intimidate her. These can be problematic but at the same time, she offers a perspective I would otherwise completely overlook so I try to see the value in that. I do ask that she opens up her mind a bit more but that's going to take time as she's set in her ways. 

I've never needed a partner to be exactly like me (I'm more than enough for myself) so while 'boring' can cause divides, it's only a real issue if either of us refuses to attempt to understand each other or compromise our different opinions.


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## Andy1001

I had a friend in school who sat beside me for years,she was quiet as a mouse and never spoke to anyone but me and the teacher.She was a boarder but I was a day pupil.She used to follow me like a little puppy but I was never unkind to her and she used to come to my house and eventually my mom brought her out of her shell.I didn't realise she had a crush on me as we were only kids at the time and when I was fourteen I left school and we lost touch for a few years.The next time I met her was at my moms funeral and she looked completely different and I didn't recognise her until she told me who she was.She told me about how much she was in love with me when we were kids but she was married at this stage.By then she was worth over a billion dollars and is now one of the most recognisable people in the US.
Kinda slipped up there.


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## NextTimeAround

Andy1001 said:


> I had a friend in school who sat beside me for years,she was quiet as a mouse and never spoke to anyone but me and the teacher.She was a boarder but I was a day pupil.She used to follow me like a little puppy but I was never unkind to her and she used to come to my house and eventually my mom brought her out of her shell.I didn't realise she had a crush on me as we were only kids at the time and when I was fourteen I left school and we lost touch for a few years.The next time I met her was at my moms funeral and she looked completely different and I didn't recognise her until she told me who she was.She told me about how much she was in love with me when we were kids but she was married at this stage.*By then she was worth over a billion dollars and is now one of the most recognisable people in the US.*
> Kinda slipped up there.


Would that be Betsy de Vos?


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## TheRealMcCoy

reboot said:


> *Did any of you marry "that" girl?*


Yes




reboot said:


> *How did it work out?*


Just like your marriage. Stop worrying. You couldn't have done better in that regard. They seem to all fall out of love eventually.


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## ConanHub

Had a "puppy" kind of girl following me around in high school.

She was very nice and mousey but I didn't let her get anywhere near intimacy with me because I was a bad boy and didn't mess with nice girls.

We are good friends now. She grew up to be a very tall and beautiful woman who attracts people wherever she goes. She is still incredibly nice and hot as hell as well! LOL!

I don't regret being with Mrs. C for a moment but, in a nice way, this woman lets me know it would have been good between us.

Life can be good with many different people. It is what you make of it.

It would have been good with Ms. Mousey and it is good with Mrs. C.


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## Andy1001

NextTimeAround said:


> Would that be Betsy de Vos?


Give me a break lol.Im thirty three.This girl who was in school with me had an iq of 162.She made a fortune before completely reinventing herself and hardly anyone knows how wealthy she is.She is on tv regularly and I am always amazed that this is the quiet little mouse who used to sit beside me and only talked in a whisper.


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## TaDor

Betsy de Vos has an IQ of 62.

I've been with some boring girls. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't marry any of them.


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## aine

Todd Haberdasher said:


> I married "safe". I know my wife will never leave me or cheat on me. She will always have a reasonably tasty meal waiting for me. She will be a good mother. But there is nothing remotely interesting about her and every conversation is a giant chore.


I'm sure you're a great catch too! pfft

I love how all the men on here are moaning about their boring and uninteresting wives, yet they chose those wives, wonder what that says about them? 

If the men who are complaining were so bloody interesting I am sure they would be with much more interesting women, after all like attracts like.

Give me a bloody break.............


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## aine

NextTimeAround said:


> My sister and I have pieced together our experiences, direct and vicarious, with men to try to find a pattern. I was told in the last year of my marriage from I had once considered a friend that “men don’t like drama.” Absolute worst advice.
> Given my experiences with both my first and current husbands, I conclude that men do like (a measure of) drama and, moreover, drama comes in different flavors.
> 
> My first husband, English, liked the women who were passive aggressive. You know, those types who are never seen doing anything and never heard saying anything, but can nicely purse their lips into a smirk.
> 
> My current husband, based on his socalled BFF that he was trying to drag into the future. It seems to me that he liked that “in your face behavior.” And she was good for that. Calling him A$$hole in text messages, as if that were his name. And he also defended her – for a hot minute when I refused to accept it – when I discovered that she was giving him advice on OUR relationship.
> 
> I am trying to figure out ways to get a feel for people’s values. One way is to watch TV, films, comment on blogs together in conversation with one another. That does give insight. One time he and I were looking at Huffingtonpost online. It was the page of Pau lina P orizko va. He offered freely that he thought she was so cool because she had the balls to put down her own profession even though that’s what made her rich and famous. Bingo!
> 
> I’ve noticed that sometimes men will say, with a gleam in their eye, “You really know where she stands.” Or “She really speaks her mind.” Diplomacy accounts for nothing here. Those guys like women who are feisty – to some degree. The trick is to figure to what degree. And to make sure that there is only feisty woman in his life.
> 
> What other types of drama do some men like? The Damsel in distress, the Madonna, because he took care of HER kids, he’ll put up with anything just to be able to hang around……. Encountered that in college.
> 
> These days with my husband, when he is right, I concede, when I am right and he won't concede, I tell him to F--- off. It seems to work for us. So feisty lite.
> 
> What say you, you guys (male, female)?


Agree with alot of this

Some men say all they want is a hot meal and sex, no other drama.
Some men are like *****es they love to gossip and love the drama 
Some like fiesty women and some want quiet respectful women except in the bedroom.

The bottom line, they always want what the other guy has.


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## Andy1001

aine said:


> I'm sure you're a great catch too! pfft
> 
> I love how all the men on here are moaning about their boring and uninteresting wives, yet they chose those wives, wonder what that says about them?
> 
> If the men who are complaining were so bloody interesting I am sure they would be with much more interesting women, after all like attracts like.
> 
> Give me a bloody break.............


You wouldn't be Australian by any chance?
Straight and to the point.


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## Married but Happy

aine said:


> I love how *all* the men on here are moaning about their boring and uninteresting wives ...


I guess you missed reading my post!

My wife is the most interesting and exciting (excluding one or two who were actually mentally unbalanced!) woman I've ever known in my life, even after 17 years together. Every day is a joy.


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## JukeboxHero

To all those who have said their wives are boring; What exactly makes them boring? Like, I'd like to hear a more detailed description of why they're "Boring".


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## WonkyNinja

Todd Haberdasher said:


> I married "safe". I know my wife will never leave me or cheat on me. She will always have a reasonably tasty meal waiting for me. She will be a good mother. But there is nothing remotely interesting about her and every conversation is a giant chore.





Todd Haberdasher said:


> Incredibly hurt is my guess. She appears to genuinely love me and think I am a great husband.
> 
> Like, if she hated me my decision would be clear.


I think my XW married me for similar reasons, the closeness and intimacy that we had when we were dating/engaged disappeared almost as soon as she got the ring on.

She resents me deeply for leaving her but not nearly as much as I do her for wasting the 20 years of my life that I could have had in a real loving relationship if she hadn't lied in the first place.

I don't know whether I hope she finds out how you feel or not, at least if she did she may be able to move on and find someone that actually wants to spend their life with her.


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## jorgegene

it depends how you define 'boring'.

if you're saying exciting is someone who hang glides, climbs half dome, wants to go to the solomon islands searching for the last vestiges of
head hunters, my wife is not that at all.

or if you're talking about someone is exciting who reads tolstoy, can explain relativity, relationship between the protons, neutrons and 
electrons of the atom, or oncogenesis, my wife is not that.

she's slightly above average intelligence, doesn't talk about esoteric stuff, likes to stay home and watch movies, but she's anything but boring.
she's cheeky, and constantly wants attention. if it were up to her, we'd be in bed all the time. 
she's a live one alright, and keeps me on my toes for sure. anything but boring.


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## Good Guy

JukeboxHero said:


> To all those who have said their wives are boring; What exactly makes them boring? Like, I'd like to hear a more detailed description of why they're "Boring".


Always want to do the same few things - anything new requires months of negotiation

Watching Medical stuff (Grey's Anatomy) or crime dramas (CSI) on TV ad nauseum

Makes excuses if you say you want to go out somewhere

Only wants to do stuff with her boring friends who are a good bit older than us and just as rigid and structured as she is

If she does go out with you, wants to go home just when you are starting to have fun

If she stays home and you go out, constantly texting about when will you be home

Sex always the same pattern

On the odd occasion when she seems in the mood for sex, is always "too tired" or stays up till 3 AM and eventually it happens - meaning you are exhausted and grumpy the next day which she blames on you somehow punishing her for having sex

Things have improved a lot but were pretty bad for several years. I kind of have my own friends now that I do stuff with a lot.

On the plus side she's very reliable and organized, and very intelligent.


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## Dr. Stupid

I've been called "sweet" and "reserved" by quite a few people. It's a self-defense mechanism from when I was a model, before I realized what kind of screwed up world the modeling business is, and went back to college. In the modeling business, especially lingerie and swimsuits, there is a sexual tension that tends to lead both men and women to constantly test boundaries, often aggressively, and often in a predatory way. I got sick of all of that, so I found that being reserved and standoffish was a way to avoid conflict to a degree. Leaving the business was the best way though. 

I am one thing when others are around. Alone with my husband, I am something completely different.


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## tropicalbeachiwish

Married but Happy said:


> I guess you missed reading my post!
> 
> My wife is the most interesting and exciting (excluding one or two who were actually mentally unbalanced!) woman I've ever known in my life, even after 17 years together. Every day is a joy.


What brought you to TAM?


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## Married but Happy

tropicalbeachiwish said:


> What brought you to TAM?


Learn some new things, and hopefully provide useful advice (I had one bad, sexless marriage and a divorce in my past). The second time around I got it amazingly right, and I think others can too.


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## Luvher4life

Nope, I didn't marry the "sweet boring girl". Although I questioned my own judgment at the time about marrying my wife, it's the best thing that ever happened to me. After many failed relationships with lots of drama, I most certainly had very little confidence in my "picking" abilities. Over 20 years later, two beautiful daughters, I am completely honored and blessed to still have her as my wife. I took her for granted in the beginning for sure, likely because of my past, but she stuck with me, and I eventually matured enough emotionally to be the husband she deserved.

We all have those memories that make you think "what if". I look at it like this, however, if it was meant to be it would've happened. You certainly wasn't ready for a girl of her "type" at the time, and that's probably a good thing seeing as you weren't mature enough to handle her "type" then either. Believe me, you would likely have blown that relationship up if it would've happened.

Don't dwell on the past. Learn from the past, make the necessary changes in yourself, and move on in the here and now is the best advice I can give.


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## hylton7

naw dated a few nice girls in the past but i'm glad I didn't marry any of them.


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## WilliamM

Met my girl when she was 17. I was 18. Mary, my wife, had a gorgeous little girl quality, innocent and naive. I teased her, she liked it. I was the first boy to ever show any interest in her, and she fell in love with me. But I had a girlfriend at the time, and we respect the boundaries of relationships. Eleven months later my girlfriend and I parted ways, and I thought about Mary.

Four months after that Mary and I were married. Mary is actually much smarter than average, and quite competent. She has been through a lot of hell in life. She copes. She refuses to grow up. She is so sweet and innocent, she always takes my breath away with her childlike innocence. She is my fairy princess tripping through a magical forest, constantly enchanting me.

We've been married since 1973. And I am very glad I married the sweet boring girl.


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