# Are there times when it's just about her during sex?



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

I'm going to ask you guys the same thing I did the ladies - are there ever times when you entirely focus on your SO during sex without any expectation of reciprocation? If so, how often? If not, would you consider it if she asked?


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I do but probably not that often. It seems to stress my partner out at some level because she seems to think she needs to reciprocate. I have to reassure her that I want to do it for her. There will be plenty of time on another occasion to take care of me. 

...after all it doesn't really take much to make me happy.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

I didn't see the thread for ladies so i'll answer both here. Just about him...yes I do this quite often usually a BJ once a week usually spontaneously where ever we are. Just for me.....he offers but I don't like it cause its usually pity sex cause he is not really in the mood. I am HD and he is LD.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Big Dude (Feb 24, 2013)

Sure, I do this sometimes. Just last week my wife came home from work "in a mood" and complaining non-stop about "those idiots" etc.

I told her it sounds like she had a rough day and needed to relax. I pushed her onto the couch in our home office, pulled off her pants despite a token show of resistance, and went to town for about 15 minutes. When my work there was done and she said it was my turn now, I told her to get down to the kitchen and cook my supper.

I think she was delighted. She stopped complaining anyway.

I would be thrilled if she ever asked for this for herself. Sadly, it has never happened and probably won't ever happen.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Well , yes, kinda.

It usually starts off with a sensual or shower massage and she starts to build.
After her first climax she always insist that I get inside now before she hits the second one.

She's likes " getting hers" with something inside.
Inevitably I get mine too. So I guess it isn't really totally about her pleasure because she's upset if I don't " finish" inside..


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Many times. Mrs Conan loves to finish with piv sex however, and once she has been worked good for a while, she likes to really be taken hard. So even when it is just about her, I really get enjoyment as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

I'm glad the folks with good sex in their relationships post on TAM. Gives the rest of us hope.


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## Jamestone (Mar 30, 2014)

To answer your question I would say its all about her 98% or more. At least the last couple years. I have always loved taking care of her and not even worrying about me sometimes. Unfortunately, its been way one side for a long time. I need the emotion and passion from her too. I would be perfectly satisfied if it was 70/30. 50/50 would be out of this world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Big Dude said:


> Sure, I do this sometimes. Just last week my wife came home from work "in a mood" and complaining non-stop about "those idiots" etc.
> 
> I told her it sounds like she had a rough day and needed to relax. I pushed her onto the couch in our home office, pulled off her pants despite a token show of resistance, and went to town for about 15 minutes. When my work there was done and she said it was my turn now, I told her to get down to the kitchen and cook my supper.
> 
> ...



That's HOT! 

Don't be surprised if she starts complaining to you every day....


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

firebelly1 said:


> I'm going to ask you guys the same thing I did the ladies - are there ever times when you entirely focus on your SO during sex without any expectation of reciprocation? If so, how often? If not, would you consider it if she asked?


I guess I would have to ask for clarification?

Does it involve me orgasming from PIV or not? 

If the answer is yes, then I'd say this is what it is like about 75% of the time. We both like it this way. She likes being taken, she likes lots of foreplay. I love teasing her body, making her want me bad and then taking her.

If you mean no, only she orgasms.... not very often. I've tried it a few times when she's wanted it multiple times in a short period. I'm fine for a while, but after 2-3 hours I'm so frigging horny that I can't stand it. So if we don't have the time to finish I'm not all that interested.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Big Dude said:


> Sure, I do this sometimes. Just last week my wife came home from work "in a mood" and complaining non-stop about "those idiots" etc.
> 
> I told her it sounds like she had a rough day and needed to relax. I pushed her onto the couch in our home office, pulled off her pants despite a token show of resistance, and went to town for about 15 minutes. .


I love this website. 

I recently let one of those rants shut me down. We had issues before about her being too distracted to get into it and ending up going nowhere. I'd end up even more frustrated, and I hated that. Fortunately it's in the past.

My wife is entering peri-menopause. One thing that's happened is she is REALLY getting into being taken. Instead of letting it shut me down, I should have done what you did.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Jamestone said:


> To answer your question I would say its all about her 98% or more. At least the last couple years. I have always loved taking care of her and not even worrying about me sometimes. Unfortunately, its been way one side for a long time. I need the emotion and passion from her too. I would be perfectly satisfied if it was 70/30. 50/50 would be out of this world.


I was there once. 

What I've figured out is that my wife just isn't going to be spontaneous that way. But I've figured out something - she likes being told what to do. Not asked, told. I whisper in her ear, and get her wound up with dirty talk. Not only do I tell her that she's going to do it, I tell her it's going to turn her on and drive her wild while she's doing it. I keep the talk going while she's doing what she is doing. This gets her INCREDIBLY turned on. More than I've ever seen from any other way.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

Yes, if I see that she is extremely tired and stressed, it's all about her. Nothing like a few O's to reduce stress. 

She was uncomfortable with it at the beginning (worried about me getting off) but will readily accept now!


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

T&T said:


> Yes, if I see that she is extremely tired and stressed, it's all about her. Nothing like a few O's to reduce stress.
> 
> She was uncomfortable with it at the beginning (worried about me getting off) but will readily accept now!


How did she make the shift from discomfort to readily accepting? Did you help her change her mind? How?


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## 312cpl (Jan 27, 2014)

The question is totally sexually about her only?! No, and I really never identified she wanted it that way. If so someday, I'd be glad to do so for her. She will give me a BJ sometimes between PIV sessions. I wrote here before, that I will give my wife a 30-40 minute back rub with baby oil from head to toe. Afterward, she relaxes and falls asleep. This way, she doesn't feel obligated to give me sex. She just wants to lay back and enjoy her relaxation. She can relax and just sleep. The next day is usually when I get my BJ.  This works great for us about once a week if life isn't interrupting us.


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Yes, we often take care of the other person and then don't expect anything in return. If I still "need something" after I've given him a BJ and he's drifting off, I put his hand on my breast and masturbate while he holds me. 

Last night I was in a horrible mood when he came to bed. He was working late, I was p1ssed because I was horny and couldn't sleep and I needed to be up early this morning to get the kids off to school (he works at home and can sleep in when he's up late working.) 

He didn't let my toxic mood get in the way--he knew what I needed and gave it to me even though I put up a fight at first. Needless to say, I fell asleep quite blissfully and he got nothing out of the bargain . . . except my undying gratitude and the deep desire to please him for his patience and generosity under duress.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

GettingIt said:


> Yes, we often take care of the other person and then don't expect anything in return. If I still "need something" after I've given him a BJ and he's drifting off, I put his hand on my breast and masturbate while he holds me.
> 
> Last night I was in a horrible mood when he came to bed. He was working late, I was p1ssed because I was horny and couldn't sleep and I needed to be up early this morning to get the kids off to school (he works at home and can sleep in when he's up late working.)
> 
> He didn't let my toxic mood get in the way--he knew what I needed and gave it to me even though I put up a fight at first. Needless to say, I fell asleep quite blissfully and he got nothing out of the bargain . . . except my undying gratitude and the deep desire to please him for his patience and generosity under duress.


All great. And...interesting about the sleep thing. I've been really agitated lately and not sleeping well until a friend told me he had spring fever and was masturbating several times a day. Not sure why that hadn't occurred to me, but now I'm doing the same thing and finding the agitation has lessened and I'm sleeping better. Awesome that your SO knows you need this even when you protest. Maybe especially.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

firebelly1 said:


> How did she make the shift from discomfort to readily accepting? Did you help her change her mind? How?


I just kept reassuring her that it was okay for her to get off without reciprocation. 

Kept talking about the fact that it's okay for her to get ME off (BJ/HJ) but not the other way around? How does that makes sense? I think she felt selfish, but it made ME feel selfish by not being able to get her off once and a while.

Truly, I don't think she thought I had enough self control...Well, I do and she's loving it now.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

firebelly1 said:


> I'm going to ask you guys the same thing I did the ladies - are there ever times when you entirely focus on your SO during sex without any expectation of reciprocation? If so, how often? If not, would you consider it if she asked?


99% of the time!! I don't care abou blow jobs, oral, or anything. We are guys we will come it's just a matter of time. Women are a art form, so it's always about her.

I hate quickies and only have them if it's been days and we don't have time, but need to connnect. Even then it's not for me.

I like intense 5 course meal sex! With all the fixings if it's not that I'm really not interested.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

With my ex it was mostly about her, as her sex drive exceeded mine. Many times I did not enjoy it but it helped prevent petty quarrels, fights / PMS


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

firebelly1 said:


> I'm going to ask you guys the same thing I did the ladies - are there ever times when you entirely focus on your SO during sex without any expectation of reciprocation? If so, how often? If not, would you consider it if she asked?


This is a loaded question because I get pleasure out of her pleasure.

Are there times we make love and she's the only one touched and orgasming....YUP 
Are there times we make love and I'm the only one touched and orgasming....YUP.

But we both always get pleasure out of those times. Why be stuck in one rut. Why cant I just grab my wife when she's stressed, throw her on the best, give her a mind blowing orgasm and then go about our day? It's a win win frankly


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## EasyPartner (Apr 7, 2014)

Dad&Hubby said:


> This is a loaded question because I get pleasure out of her pleasure.
> 
> Are there times we make love and she's the only one touched and orgasming....YUP
> Are there times we make love and I'm the only one touched and orgasming....YUP.
> ...


:iagree: :smthumbup:

She loves it when I do that! Clouds lift and the sun will shine brightly!

As for OP's question, GF is quite HD and multi-O... so if she wants some in the morning, I'm happy to oblige, even if I'm not a morning person... or giving her some more O's manually after I'm pretty much done myself... does this all qualify?


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