# Started Therapy!



## 5tolife

We went to our first MC session on Monday, it went well it got us on the same page for what we want. We want to save our marriage. 

I started private therapy last night, because I have been told by my husband, there is something wrong with me. So talking with the therapist she wanted examples of some of our arguements, I gave her a few. She asked a string of questions regarding my husband, regarding myself, and about our children. She was very interested in trying to figure out what I do to set off my hysband, she came to the conclusion, I am not doing anything to set him off. She is very concerned because what I had explained to her, she thinks he does not have an anxiety disorder, she is leaning more towards Bi-polar or Schizophrenia. That kinda scares me, and is marriage counselling or therapy for me gonna help this? How do I tell him I think you should get checked out for a mental issue when he says I am the one making him go crazy. 

Therapy was good for me, we are going to work on relaxation and taking care of myself so I can be there for my kids and my husband. I am really excited for this and I know it can be good, I just need to bring my confidence up.


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## bs193

Good for you, both of you, for taking that step.

That said, tread carefully with IC. It is supposed to be about you, not your husband, or even your marriage. For the counselor to suggest he may be bipolar or even schizophrenic based solely on talking with you in the first session seems highly inappropriate. As is coming to the conclusion you do nothing to set him off. Granted, you are not responsible for his behavior but to suggest you do "nothing" makes me think your therapist is feeding you lip service.

I made the mistake when I went to IC of letting the sessions revolve around my wife. The counselor quickly assessed that there was nothing wrong with me and everything wrong with her, which, naturally, was exactly what I wanted to hear. As a result, I thought the sessions went well. After getting more involved in MC, I quickly learned there was a lot wrong with both of us but IC would have never exposed that, nor helped in my marriage, because it only focused on my perspective.

Do YOU think there is something wrong with you? If so, focus on that in IC. If not, but your husband feels otherwise, keep that in MC, and ditch IC. It may do more harm than good. 

For me, going to MC was the best thing I did for my marriage. Dropping IC, was the second best thing. Just something to consider.


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