# need honest advice



## lonestarlady (Nov 20, 2012)

Married for 9 years. My second marriage his first. He was 47 and I was 40. He wanted to wait to have sex until my divorce was final which happened 9 months into the relationship. A few months later we got married and still did not seem that interested. When I would ask him what the deal was he would say it was his age (47) and get really mad "how dare you". He would say if you want it you need to be aggressor. So i would and many times he was not in the mood or "later". Also he never touches me or tells me he loves me. All he wants to do is watch TV, play golf and surf on his IPAD. I tell him that we do not spend enough time together connecting. He says we do but his idea of that is us going out to dinner and then coming home and him diving into the TV. We are not not speaking and have not been since before Thanksgiving. Everytime i try to calmly discuss our relationship he starts yelling and calling me names. He is an amazing stepfather and provider so as long as i think about that and not anything else i am good. When i start to think about how emotionally empty my marriage is it makes me so sad. He does not care. Do you think that my first clue should of been the fact that he was 47 and never married. He says that his past relationships just did not work but will not go into any detail. I am so unhappy! Also he has been using the testoserone cream for a couple of years so I don't think it is low T


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

You married him despite the fact that he was not interested in sex? Did you think that would improve after you got married? 

Why do you think he married you? Please elaborate on 'because he loves me" - Why? 

If his DR. put him on low dose (5mg) daily Cialis you would probably see an improvement in his sexual aggression.


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## lonestarlady (Nov 20, 2012)

I stupidly did think it would get better. I think because i never knew a man that was not interested. He said he married me because he thought i was perfect. I think that once he realized that i am not perfect ( i mean come on who is?) the bloom was off the rose. I also think that he wanted the ready made family (two boys). We are not speaking or communicating so mentioning the Cialis is out of the question. All of our conversations take place in front of the TV. Him in his chair and me on the couch


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Based on the information given, it sounds to me as if the husband wanted a ready made family for "show" and a companion who would fulfill the public wife role and take care of her share of day-to-day chores around the house as well as shared parenting but not a true mate in the sense of wife/lover/friend/confidant. Sounds like the "perfect" is the public image of nuclear family.


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## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

Maybe he's gay & needed a beard?


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## lonestarlady (Nov 20, 2012)

I starting to agree with Maneo. What do I do since he refuses to go to see a marriage therapist? It is not just the sex but the never tells me he loves me or touches me in anyway.


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## lonestarlady (Nov 20, 2012)

what is "a beard" mean? does that mean he needed a cover up?


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## mkp (Dec 19, 2012)

lonestarlady said:


> what is "a beard" mean? does that mean he needed a cover up?


Yeah, a beard is just a lady to hide his sexuality.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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