# How long did yours take? Did you go to trial?



## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

How long did your divorce process take, from the day it was filed - until the final hearing, where everything was official? Did you go to trial? If you didn't, were you almost going to - and then last minute - settled?

I can't believe mine is taking so dang long. I'm trying to picture myself saying these things even 4 months ago - and I would've been in tears and begging it to take 12 more months. Now, it's like, come on already... I'm so ready to go and be done! 

It's starting to actually really make me mad. My "final" hearing (trial date) was scheduled for less than 2 weeks from today, and I just got word it is getting pushed back b/c we're headed to trial and need more time to "prepare". Drives me nuts.. I don't understand why when they said "If you want more than this (which was insane offer, not even realistic - but I wasn't surprised), the judge will have to order it" - and when we said OK. They dropped off the face of the earth. My attorney has called his attorney several times, sent multiple emails - and nothing. Why?!


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## LBHmidwest (Jan 3, 2014)

18 months and still going. My over under 24 months if I was betting.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

LBHmidwest said:


> 18 months and still going. My over under 24 months if I was betting.


Now I see where your picture comes from....


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Mine was uncontested so it took 30 days in my state -- plus the time after that to get on the judge's calendar (another 30 days) so 60 days from filing to hearing. That's the easy way. 

However, in a contested divorce -- one that is going to trial -- it's obviously not that simple. In that case, it unfortunately takes as long as it takes (meaning it can be quite a long time) with the other side frequently using delays as a tactic to get concessions they want. 

The one who wants the divorce in a hurry usually is at a disadvantage in a contested divorce because they are tempted to give in to the other side in order to get it over with. Don't be that person. If the settlement isn't fair, don't accept it. 

The other side in your case could be betting you don't want this before a judge. Judges prefer to see cases settle so they don't end up before him/her. There's usually pressure to mediate. And you obviously can never know for sure how a judge will rule. The other side hopes you'll blink first so they've gone dark. It's the game lawyers play. And it can end up being a very expensive one and that's something that needs to be considered.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The one from my son's father took about 1 year. We were in court a few times.. like when he picked up our son at school when I was supposed to have him and disappeared for a week. 

He kept having his attorney call emergency meetings on other silly thing trying to say that he should have 100% custody because he is a doctor and I am only a lowly engineer. 

In the end the court ordered a custody evaluation. The evaluation determination was that he was not fit enough to have our son even 30% of the time. He had to go to counseling for 2 years with our son to build a healthy relationship and earn that time. 

Then he objected to the financial part of my offer, so we went to court and he got a lot less that I was offering.

He also paid a who lot more for his team of attorneys who did squat for him. I had one attorney. What a colossal waste of money.

My second divorce cost me $135 and took 5 days because we agreed and I did all work for it.


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## gulfwarvet (Jan 7, 2013)

3 years 2 months. Went to trial over child custody.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

"Trial" Separation started May 21, 2011

Divorce Petition filed November 9, 2011

Court Trial held strictly on the merits of asset distribution held on September 23, 2013.

Final Decree of Divorce issued on September 23, 2013.

From initial separation to the final decree of divorce:

2 years, 4 months, and 2 days!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

separation agreement May 11, 2012
Complaint filed August 21, 2013
Judgment Entered October 25, 2013

No hearings, no trial, just paperwork


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

19 months, 2 weeks and 4 days almost to the Hour. 
And in texass with uncontested divorce it should have taken 61 days... She would not let go and threw everything in the pot trying to keep it going on as long as possible... her attorney quit after 13 months…


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## LBHmidwest (Jan 3, 2014)

Ya..... She filed and she files continuances, I never have... go figure


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

7 years, 8 months.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Three and a half years and counting. First attorney, filed then let the petition run out in a year after two court dates and a failed mediation. We sere supposed to go to trial, for some reason Judge did not schedule a trial at second court date. He then refiled without my knowledge, and after 6 months I found out he never had her served. I had since fired him, and hired another attorney who has had to start the process all over again, filed another petition, had her served. Court date on May 22nd. I don't expect anything to be finished by then. So, will probably have to go to mediation again. Am suing first attorney for negligence and have filed complaints with the Barr. 

So, yes, I fully advocate divorcing a cheating, spendthrift of a wife at any time things like this are found out, the sooner the better. R and separation are a waste of time and money from my experience. The legal system is set up to take everything.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Okay reading some of these time frames helps me feel better. My attorney is telling me, this is "lightning speed" for divorces, but man... I am so ready.

He filed Sept 5 and here we are, almost in our final hearing in 2 weeks (but I got word it's likely going to be continued longer). It just feels like forever! I guess ours is a contested divorce... but what does that mean really? Neither of us are saying No to divorce. I guess it means, we are disagreeing on things - and we are. 

Personally I think he thinks he still knows me.. and he thinks I'll cave, or get scared and say Fine - but I'm not going to. I've came this far, spent this much, I'm not stopping now. That's crazy talk. 

I can tell you, its easier when you don't love them anymore... I'll always love the memories we shared before all this and I'll try to respect and love him for being the father of my son - but, do I love him like 'that', or feel any kind of connection to him? Not even a little bit. If it weren't for the continuance of this divorce process, I'd feel comfortable saying I know what feeling indifferent is like, b/c I think I'm there. I'm not really even mad anymore... I almost feel he did me a favor, and it's all good.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

FYI, a non-contested divorce means the parties agree on the grounds for divorce and the division of marital assets/child support/child custody. Everything else is contested


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Yes, when you disagree on anything, it is automatically contested.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

Okay thanks!


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

10 months...although it seemed like an eternity. 

Dont worry, by the time you get done, you will be glad you did it.
Divorce seems to bring out the worst in people.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Trials are to solve problems people can't solve themselves. If you and your spouse can knock out an agreement with terms you both can live with, there's no need for a dog and pony show in court.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> *7 years, 8 months.*


*Damn! What did you do? Marry your lawyer?*


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *Damn! What did you do? Marry your lawyer?*


He wasn't my type. 

My ex was simply delusional about what she could get. (That may have been partly due to her being bipolar.) Rather than spend a lot of time and money on lawyers, I decided to wait her out. Over time, my job changed and other things happened that resulted in her getting far, far less than my original - extremely generous - offer. Eventually even she could see that she wouldn't get more. Greed had a downside for her in this case.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

In the system for over 2 years now my next court date isn't even on the docket for another 5 months and I have no doubt she will get another delay at that point. I've had 6 or 7 final hearing dates set which never happened. 

Most judges don't want to rule in divorce cases. They want the parties to work it out so they will grant delays fairly easy to avoid a trial.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Baseballmom6 (Aug 15, 2012)

60 days. I filed and Judge signed Order exactly 60 days later. Uncontested because we agreed on the asset split. Although sometimes I think it was way too easy after 28 years of marriage.


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## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

It's official, we requested they grant us a continuance and they did. I was secretly hoping not - lol. I want this over and done. 

We go still on that original date, to get a new date - and then we go into depositions later that day. It's all so stupid. Depressing a little bit, b/c I was hoping in 2 weeks I'd be done.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> 7 years, 8 months.


Dang! In some weird way, I was hoping to take the prize on this thread. You have me way beat! I bet there is a story there!


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

toonaive said:


> Dang! In some weird way, I was hoping to take the prize on this thread. You have me way beat! I bet there is a story there!


I figured the endurance marathon would be down to you and me. Looks like we owe the top prize dinner to someone else....at least I hope so for both our sakes. Haha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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