# Tough time leaving because of toddler



## Ryan33 (Sep 24, 2012)

I've been in this relationship for several years. We have a kid together. I've never been super happy, tried to get out before, but then she got pregnant. I had a hard time with it, considering I tried to end it shortly before that. I wasn't myself when she was pregnant, and I would go out once a week, come home around 1am. Which I dont' think is a big deal, but she just brought it up again. Though I was really unhappy at the time, and we also did have a big fight right before the kid was born. She tells me she still holds it against me that I went out and put her under stress. Tells me she marked it down when I went out incase she ever had to use it against me for custody... like that would really matter. I've gone out once maybe twice in the almost three years since our son was born.

As she's mad, she tells me I'm going to burn in hell for going out before our baby was born, whatever the hell that's even supposed to mean. Then she also brings up that I didn't even want the kid (we talked about abortion), and he would be dead if it wasn't for her. Real nice of her huh.

Really we're only together because of our son. Although not happy, it's not terrible, we rarely fight in front of him, probably as much as any happy couple. So it was kinda like, live an 'okay' life, and be a happy family, or split the family up, and try get myself truly happy. After she told me the above today, I don't know if I will ever see things the same again, with a) what she said and b) knowing she felt like that, whether it was to hurt me or not.

What kills me is thinking about what must be going through his mind if and when it happens. I work from home, so I see him through out the day and night every single day. It kills me to think I wouldn't have that anymore. I know divorce is common, but I never pictured myself ever being in that situation, both my parents are still together as well. I just can't imagine splitting time with him, him asking where daddy is, or where mommy is, or wanting to go 'home', etc.

I just needed to vent.

Forgot to add, we aren't married but living together for about 6-7 years.


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## CJK (Jan 24, 2013)

I can relate, I constantly run numbers through my head of how many years till my toddler is 18 and I can get my life back. How old will I be then? Will it be too late to find happiness somewhere else? And then I consider doing it sooner...What would be the best age for her? What would the effects be? 
Like you, I just can't imagine missing all of the small things that happen everyday that I spend with her. I know it works and kids end up ok but I just don't see how I could ever stay as close with her as I am living under the same roof with her.


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