# is there such a thing as too close in marriage??



## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

so i was reading a thread about a man complaining about this wife having body image issues.... which is something i truly can not understand. i'm a really big girl and i dont even have body image issues when it comes to my hubs. i walk around naked all the freakin time. my hubs watches, cheers, spanks.. the whole 9. i used to be a little timid in the beginning.. but after we got married he slapped that stupidity outta me really quickly. 

but anyway.. about the closeness... i was just curious about everyone's dynamic. my hubs and i do damn near everything together. shower, shave, eat... he goes to the bathroom and i sit on the floor and talk to him (he does not do this for me (thank goodness)). we cant both fit in the bathtub but when he wants to take a bath instead of shower i sit on the floor and talk to him. i massage oil into his head for an hour at least a few times a week. of course he burps and farts all the time.. and i try not to haha.. 

but when people find out how close we are they think it's weird.. or gross. my radio personality i listen to in the mornings says he will go into the basement of his home and run the water so his wife wont hear him go #2. that amazed me. i love being very close to my hubs. it makes me feel secure.. and i know %1100 that he is always faithful because of how close we are. i dont think you can be too close in a marriage, do you?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I don't think so. I thinks most people are afraid to get so close because the pain of getting hurt may be far deeper and a hell of a lot more unbearable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Nah. People who think its weird are probably just envious...wishing they could be like that with no inhibitions.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Everyone is comfortable with a different level of closeness. 

So - if it works for you and your husband, and you both feel good about yourselves, one another, and your relationship awesome. 

Will I confess that the someone watching me on the toilet thing would skeeve me out, yes. But, hey, to each their own.


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## MrsKeepTrying (Jul 31, 2012)

I agree with the rest of the posters. If those things are what you BOTH enjoy, then who is to judge? It sounds like you have a very open relationship which is fantastic!!

Keep it going and continue loving and laughing and living together. Such a beautiful thing. Just the positive post I needed to read today.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We do most of that....take baths together...

But poopin' is private time.


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

i have private time.. but if im not over there for whatever reason.. he'll call someone. when we were dating he used to call me while he was in the bathroom. 

i had an ex that i was messing with once, and i somehow bypassed the lock and opened the door and he FREAKED OUT. which i guess is a normal reaction.. 

but i like me and my hubs openness lots more!


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

I'm sure many will be quite envious whilst realising that it wouldn't necessarily work in their own relationship. 

I agree the important thing is that you are both enjoying being so loving so this is great. It's quite rare, but certainly not something to worry about. Just enjoy it.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Nope every marriage is different if it works for you guys then there isn't anything wrong with it. Doesn't make it any worse or any better than people that do more or do less


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife and I have that same level of " familiarity."
She does EVERYTHING in front of me.
I used to be a little worried by it but not any more.

The only thing she does not allow me to do is come into the shower when she's getting ready to go out for any appointment.
She says whenever I come into the shower with her, we always end up being late , or staying home.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

I don't mind when hubby farts too much, but sitting on the floor in the bathroom while he is going #2? Yeah, I think that is weird.


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## MrsKeepTrying (Jul 31, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> ...The only thing she does not allow me to do is come into the shower when she's getting ready to go out for any appointment.
> She says whenever I come into the shower with her, we always end up being late , or staying home.


There could certainly be worse reasons for being late for an appointment.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

If that is what both of you enjoy, that is awesome! 

I'm an introvert, so I would personally need a little alone time from time to time, and the toilet would certainly be one of them.


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

for the record.. i dont sit IN the bathroom... i sit in the hallway. been doing it for almost 2.5 years.. and i dont necessarily enjoy watching him brown.. but i like to feel wanted.. and i love his company  <3


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

southbound said:


> If that is what both of you enjoy, that is awesome!
> 
> I'm an introvert, so I would personally need a little alone time from time to time, and the toilet would certainly be one of them.


I don't think the introverted thing necessarily = lessoning this pull -this "magnet to steel" for closeness in a marraige. 

My husband is surley an introverted man (and I know STONEWALL is too & feels the same).... I asked him one time, since he seems he never needed that "Man cave" --that the popular book "*Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus *" speaks of.... he answers to me.... "If I had a Cave, I would want you in it"...and truly his actions & demeanor has always spoken this. 

I did ask him once, if he was married to some of my friends if he'd feel this way... he gave me a very sour look & said he'd need a cave then ! Ha ha 

So alot of this is....just how we "get along" so harmoniously I am sure. 

Me & mine do NEAR everything together... we LOVE & thrive on the togetherness.....but it makes sense ...as we are both "TIME " & "TOUCH" lovers ...at the top of those love languages.... 

We take a Bath together pretty near every night- still fitting in that bathrub ! It is how we shut the kids out & start our evening together..... when we watch tv...he is right there with me....we cut the grass together.... he even likes me to keep him company (if I am not doing anything) while he is working on a vehicle....we even walk to the mail box together sometimes...we're hopeless for wanting to be side by side- one might say. 

We do the whole... in the bathroom.. talking to each other if one is on the pot too... it's just our way. He loves the fact I want to be near him.....but he does ask 1 thing of me... he wants to "wipe" in private. ha ha.... Yeah, I can give him that much- dignity I guess. 

We revel in the ball & chain, I have told him this many times... HE is the one & only person in my life that NEVER gets on my nerves -that I want to get away from. It is very precious that he feels this same way back -about me.










I do feel.. when couples are this close, it is amazing...truly, a rare thing to find in life....but when one dies, I think we'd likely have to be put on drugs to cope, I mean, it would almost be like a peice of your body was ripped from you- like your twin has passed away.

I've even prayed...God please let us die together...like in a car wreck when we are 80 if I could have such a suggestion ..... I think we're the type that would die shortly after of a "broken heart" -when one has been taken.


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## jennz (Jul 14, 2012)

I think that whatever works for you is what you should do. If it makes you both happy, then carrry on and enjoy. Do not worry if other people think that it is weird. Worry about how it effects you and your H that is all!!


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I do feel.. when couples are this close, it is amazing...truly, a rare thing to find in life....but when one dies, I think we'd likely have to be put on drugs to cope, I mean, it would almost be like a peice of your body was ripped from you- like your twin has passed away.
> 
> I've even prayed...God please let us die together...like in a car wreck when we are 80 if I could have such a suggestion ..... I think we're the type that would die shortly after of a "broken heart" -when one has been taken.


omg... i never even thought about that..  i dont know what i'd do... you're right.. i'd be heavily medicated..


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

I always have that same question in my head too.....are me and my husband too close (like frat buddy too close) We do practically everything together with no shame. We are like two peas in a pod. I've heard some people say (on TV of course) that women shouldn't be so open to do "guy stuff" in front of their man because it makes him see you as less sexy or less of a "mystery".....but I don't know. I enjoy feeling like my husband and I are best friends and we have no shame. The only thing that I do know is this, being close like that has never stopped my husband from cheating on me. So maybe those people on the talk shows are right in some way?? Or maybe my husband is just an ass..?


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## Nicole01 (Jul 31, 2012)

My husband are extremely close. We are two people as one. 

The only thing we do not do in front of each other is go number 2.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

somethingelse said:


> I always have that same question in my head too.....are me and my husband too close (like frat buddy too close) We do practically everything together with no shame. We are like two peas in a pod. I've heard some people say (on TV of course) that women shouldn't be so open to do "guy stuff" in front of their man because it makes him see you as less sexy or less of a "mystery".....but I don't know. I enjoy feeling like my husband and I are best friends and we have no shame. The only thing that I do know is this, being close like that has never stopped my husband from cheating on me. So maybe those people on the talk shows are right in some way?? Or maybe my husband is just an ass..?


Me & mine has discussed the "mystery " thing cause I read that in books alot about revving the passion... but honesty... for us, we truly just enjoy the way we are.. it has never hindered our passion at all... it is like coming home every day...

I surely do not feel that if you are too close...this will lead to cheating, oh my NO.... 

Hormonally speaking... those who FEEL like this have a healthy dose of Oxytocin and Vasopressin....running through their bodies, I've told my husband we have to be HIGH in these.... 




> The science of love
> 
> Stage 3: Attachment
> 
> ...


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## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

my wife and i are very close.
But usually she wants to be closer than i do.
She has no qualms about many things that annoy the crap out of me.

usually it ends up with me saying "hello? how about a little freakn space and consideration?"

basically i dont want to be THAT close to you there are some things i would rather not be involved in or see that women do.


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## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

that_girl said:


> We do most of that....take baths together...
> 
> But poopin' is private time.


Hahaha. This.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I just can't fathom together time in the toilet during a #2 as a pleasant, normal feeling thing. I'm not putting down anybody that does it, but boy, I just wouldn't care for it. I mean, uh, do you wear a mask or have an oxygen tank close by? Do you guys just have pleasant body systems or something? 

I've walked in the bathroom 15 minutes after my x wife left and almost went to my knees. :rofl: Out of all the things I could say negative about her, I'm actually not saying that to put her down. This was a serious joke between us. Sometimes I'd walk out and say, "Are you ok? Are you sick?" Sometimes when i would go she would say something like, "Just remember to put the police tape across the door when you come out." 

Whew! I just can't imagine.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

southbound said:


> I just can't fathom together time in the toilet during a #2 as a pleasant, normal feeling thing. I'm not putting down anybody that does it, but boy, I just wouldn't care for it. I mean, uh, do you wear a mask or have an oxygen tank close by? Do you guys just have pleasant body systems or something?


This had me laughing :rofl: !! No, our crap stinks like anyone elses, we just make fun of it..."Like darn, baby, what did you eat today?" or I'll wave my hands back & forth with a fumigated face, he just laughs -I might even throw a joke in there to say -"damn I gotta love you pretty bad to subject myself to this, what is wrong with [email protected]#?" 

After all.... if he can smell his crap -I can smell it too, and vice versa... no big deal, someday when we are old, we might be changing each others daipers (though I hope not!)

We don't follow each other around the house or anything.... just if we happen to need to go in there & one of us is there already type thing ... or if we was in the middle of a conversation, we might just continue in another room, even the bathroom!

I think when a couple gets so used to being together, everything flows just like "air"... this is all just "natural" to us.

I know it is not typical.. but who wants to be "normal" anyway!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> This had me laughing :rofl: !! No, our crap stinks like anyone elses, we just make fun of it..."Like darn, baby, what did you eat today?" or I'll wave my hands back & forth with a fumigated face, he just laughs -I might even throw a joke in there to say -"damn I gotta love you pretty bad to subject myself to this, what is wrong with [email protected]#?"
> 
> After all.... if he can smell his crap -I can smell it too, and vice versa... no big deal, someday when we are old, we might be changing each others daipers (though I hope not!)
> 
> ...


Hmm. We even locked the doors, which is a practice I've had since childhood. This was never something that either of us felt the need to discuss. I think using the bathroom alone was just natural to both of us, and locking the door was just an automatic reaction like one person said about locking your automobile in the city. 
Wow, i don't mean to keep rambling, but I don't think I've ever thought of this before. 

I remember my former brother-in-law's practice. If he was at our house or someone's house close by, he would leave and go home to do #2 and come back. I didn't ask many questions, but at first my x wife would tell her sis, "He can use our bathroom. Why is he going home?" She would say, "Oh, he doesn't want to mess up your bathroom. You'd thank him, believe me!" After a while, we just got accustomed to him leaving once during an all day get-together. Apparently he liked a lot of privacy and needed it. :rofl:

Now i have another reason to remain single. I have to worry if a new woman is a bathroom girl. And to think, some people think it's weird if a guy likes his wife's feet. Go figure.:rofl:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

southbound said:


> Hmm. We even locked the doors, which is a practice I've had since childhood. This was never something that either of us felt the need to discuss. I think using the bathroom alone was just natural to both of us, and locking the door was just an automatic reaction like one person said about locking your automobile in the city.


 Our bathroom is through our bedroom, that is why it is not locked, and our kids have their own, so we don't worry about them coming through the bedroom, in fact we do lock that. 



> Now i have another reason to remain single. I have to worry if a new woman is a bathroom girl. And to think, some people think it's weird if a guy likes his wife's feet. Go figure.:rofl:


 Naaaah, we're the weird ones, you are more normal, so don't sweat it. If my husband felt as you, I would respect that -of course ....but he doesn't! He is kosher with it & enjoys the fact I want to be near him - I've asked !


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

No you can't be too close. We do try to keep a little mystery in our marriage. We don't use the bathroom together or fart in front of each other.... Knowingly anyway. But everything else is side by side.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I don't think the introverted thing necessarily = lessoning this pull -this "magnet to steel" for closeness in a marraige.
> 
> My husband is surley an introverted man (and I know STONEWALL is too & feels the same).... I asked him one time, since he seems he never needed that "Man cave" --that the popular book "*Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus *" speaks of.... he answers to me.... "If I had a Cave, I would want you in it"...and truly his actions & demeanor has always spoken this.
> 
> ...


You are wise beyond your years my dear and Mr. SA is wise beyond his for grabbing you so many years ago.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Stonewall said:


> You are wise beyond your years my dear and Mr. SA is wise beyond his for grabbing you so many years ago.


You are not the first to have noted that. 

SA is a neat lady.


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

hahahha, a bathroom girl?? hahah... trust me, it wasnt my idea to start this bathroom ritual! my hubs will say "[nanadosbella]!!!! i miss you... can you come here? i want to see you, come talk to me" .. he flushes often and in emergencies i bust out the room spray. he's never blown up the toilet too badly.. and we makes jokes like SA and her hubs do... and it's not like im right over the toilet. i sit in the hallway. and we have no kids (thank god) so we never close or lock our doors (except my bathroom that the dog stays in while we're not home). 

and somethingelse, your hubs might have been acting closer to you out of guilt if he was a cheater. i think when you're close like im talking about he wouldnt have the time to cheat. i'm talking literally together every moment possible


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

nandosbella said:


> hahahha, a bathroom girl?? hahah... trust me, it wasnt my idea to start this bathroom ritual! my hubs will say "[nanadosbella]!!!! i miss you... can you come here? i want to see you, come talk to me" .. he flushes often and in emergencies i bust out the room spray. he's never blown up the toilet too badly.. and we makes jokes like SA and her hubs do... and it's not like im right over the toilet. i sit in the hallway. and we have no kids (thank god) so we never close or lock our doors (except my bathroom that the dog stays in while we're not home).
> 
> and somethingelse, your hubs might have been acting closer to you out of guilt if he was a cheater. i think when you're close like im talking about he wouldnt have the time to cheat. i'm talking literally together every moment possible


I see. I'm not putting anyone down, just trying to explain a difference in personalities. I guess my brain just wants things too logical, and i don't mean smarter, but everything has to make sense to me. I guess that can be a bad thing sometimes. Personally, I can't imagine missing somebody in the time it takes to go to the bathroom, but that's just my old brain.


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