# Akward Facebook Friend



## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I'm not sure this is a problem with any real solution, but - I feel the need to vent about it. I know that this post might make me seem like kind of a wad, but - it is something I'm truly curious about.

Yes, I realize that I could solve my confusion over the whole situation with the FB friend by simply unfriending her on Facebook, but as this has also happened to me with RL acquaintances/wives of my husband's friends - I'm curious how people deal with this situation.

The phenomenon is - person has a child, and then complains bitterly about how they are tired, how the baby is annoying, how the baby takes up too much time, how they aren't themselves, how they feel trapped, how their life is gone. One of the people in question even commented if their religion wasn't against it, they'd had have an abortion. 

Which - is all understandable, I myself have struggled adjusting to my role as a SAHM and have been in counseling for post-partum, so I totally get having those feelings and wanting to vent them or express them. What confuses me is - they then get pregnant again, only a year or two later. And again, begin to make the same complaints.

If having the first baby drove you insane, to the point you mention wishing you'd had an abortion, why oh why would you do it to yourself again so soon?   

Example - My FB friend is a SAHM, her boyfriend is part-time employed, and they live on assistance. (Which, I have my own thoughts on that, but that could be a whole separate discussion.) She is currently pregnant with her second child. The first child she comments he is chronically ill, he is always coming down with or just getting over something - ear infections, random puking, unknown rashes. She'll then comment about the expense of his care, about debating to take him to the doctor due to lack of money. 

Which - I'm then at a loss at what to say or think - I never comment though I am tempted to. But, I just keep coming back to - if things went so poorly the first time - why would you do that again? If you are already poor, how will having another child help? What are people expected to say when you comment about your first child being tiring, and you are super tired because you are pregnant again?

Does anyone else have friends like this?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I do and I've already given them a piece of my mind.Of course,they unfriended me...boohoo...

I have no tolerance for people like that.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I used to have friends like that. Now they aren't. And I don't have friends.

People are stupid. There are very few people in the world I would actually like to be friends with. I finally got sick and tired of them and now I am best friends with my husband and family is much more important to me.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Not on Facebook so don't do the "friend/defriend" thing. But when I know people like this, I just avoid them. They aren't happy unless they can tell their "woe is me" story to anyone who will listen.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

You can just hide their posting or unfollow most of their stuff, and every once in a while check in when she posts something particularly alarming in terms of her happiness.

I have an awkward FB friend who is always posting things that are supposedly positive but have a negative spin on them...such as how the world is such a rotten place because people are uncouth and if only we could all get along...and then he posts stuff about Christians supporting Israel and it's clear he has no knowledge about Reformists who accept Christ and so Merry Christmas to them is not an issue, etc.

I just hide his messages and suggested if he needed a boost he come to our Quaker Meeting candlelight Quaker sing and he might find friends among a certain Quaker meeting that is more politically active than mine, which is small and mostly silent...(but active spiritually nonetheless!)

It sounds like she is trying to refute her joy in motherhood over embarassment at taking assistance and having a second child. That's sad, if she's pregnant and she has a child, she should just get down to the business of enjoying them, and working on herself/marriage/relationship so that she can eventually be self-supporting, if that's realistic. Unfortunately, I don't think Medicaid pays for sterilizations even if she wanted one. There is a cost issue in affording this, although there are organizations....


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Medicaid does pay for sterilizations. At least here in NM they do. That's how my husband got his vasectomy, since we couldn't afford the entire cost ourselves.

I remember when I had my daughter I had my fair share of complaints. I didn't air them on FB, though. I certainly didn't want to get pregnant and do it over again.

My ex's real mother was like this - to the extreme. What can you say to a woman who openly resents her grown child, even if front of people she didn't even know? (Like ME?!) It's sad, but hopefully your friend is just venting her frustrations. I am sure she loves her child(ren) even though she might not like her life very much right now.

There are several people on my FB who are chronic complainers. I just ignore them. I've got enough complaints for myself... LoL!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Here it's more difficult to get sterilization. Maybe it will pay for the guy, but the guy has to be willing, and covered. If they're not married, then no coverage. 

Anyway, it's not about benefits, it's about the situation. Nothing wrong with having a second kid, if that's what you want, benefits or not...but don't act like you don't in order to save face! Just suck it up, if people complain about public health care, assure them that you wish it were universal. (As I think it should be.)

And the real point, just hide their posts. That way you get to do something active to make them go away (and it won't hurt their feelings cause they won't know...)


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

Chris Taylor said:


> Not on Facebook so don't do the "friend/defriend" thing. But when I know people like this, I just avoid them. They aren't happy unless they can tell their "woe is me" story to anyone who will listen.


And I got very weary of those who posted every little detail about their job and family woes on line. I can't believe the stuff that was posted by some family members about their boss and other family members. They have no clue about how rude or impolite they sound when they diss someone in their family online, or talk trash about their boss or coworkers. Do they really think that their words won't get back to their boss or the family members they talk trash about? Do they think people are stupid and won't see through their lame attempts to disguise who they are talking about?

I got rid of Facebook because of this, and I stopped tweeting actively because of the inanity of the chatter. I think Google+ will be another hotbed of this. So far, Linkedin seems the least likely to attract sociopathic blabbermouths. 

Facebook was particularly bad because it lays out all of your babbling in a nicely formatted timeline so anyone can get an historical perspective of your innermost feelings towards others in your life.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I have a FB 'friend' (actually an old work colleague) who gave us all a day to day account of the trials and tribulations of her first pregnancy, and even went so far as updating her status every 10 minutes whilst in labour (including photos of her grimacing with pain). When her daughter was finally born, we were then treated to a daily account of what was in her child's diaper to the misery of cracked nipples. In the end, I disabled her activity feed so that I didn't have to read it! I took a peek at her profile recently, and lo and behold it's another daily update on hemorrhoids, backache etc etc. Yep, she's pregnant again!

I think with people like this, we either disable their newsfeeds or delete them as friends.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Cosmos said:


> I have a FB 'friend' (actually an old work colleague) who gave us all a day to day account of the trials and tribulations of her first pregnancy, and even went so far as updating her status every 10 minutes whilst in labour (including photos of her grimacing with pain). When her daughter was finally born, we were then treated to a daily account of what was in her child's diaper to the misery of cracked nipples. In the end, I disabled her activity feed so that I didn't have to read it! I took a peek at her profile recently, and lo and behold it's another daily update on hemorrhoids, backache etc etc. Yep, she's pregnant again!
> 
> I think with people like this, we either disable their newsfeeds or delete them as friends.


WTF is she posting all that on facebook for, and when the hell does she spend time with her kid?!?! That is totally messed.

This kind of stupidity is why I left facebook and have ZERO desire to ever go back.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

Starstarfish said:


> I'm not sure this is a problem with any real solution, but - I feel the need to vent about it. I know that this post might make me seem like kind of a wad, but - it is something I'm truly curious about.
> 
> Yes, I realize that I could solve my confusion over the whole situation with the FB friend by simply unfriending her on Facebook, but as this has also happened to me with RL acquaintances/wives of my husband's friends - I'm curious how people deal with this situation.
> 
> ...


This woman is a moron. Unfriend her. I wouldn't be able to have a conversation with somebody like that without setting my hair on fire. So no, I don't have any friends like this woman.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Some people just enjoy complaining. I suspect she is one of those sorts. If she annoys you and you don't want to be her friend in RL, just unfriend her and let it go. If she annoys you, but you want to avoid the drama and keep her acquaintance, then just hide her stuff on your wall so you don't have to see it. If I don't see myself connecting with a friend, I distance myself either enough to make the person more tolerable or enough that the person is not really in my life any more. It doesn't sounds like you two are BFFs, so does it really matter if you unfriend her?


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

unfriend and move on


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## TheManinBlack (Feb 21, 2013)

Isn't there an 'aquaintance' option now? You stay friends, but don't have to see their posts...


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

Why not troll them? If done right, maybe it will convince them to stop being retarded. 

They said they would have an abortion if they weren't religious. That seems like a weird attempt to deflect blame - this is god's fault because god won't let me have an abortion. Find passages from the bible condoning baby murder and post those as replies.


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