# Let's See Here...Where should I Begin.



## seriously?? (Apr 4, 2015)

I'm new here. My Husband and I have only been married just over 6 months (2nd marriage I was widowed young) and we have been bombarded with multiple huge external stressors since day one. These stressors are huge...some life changing. To top it off my In Laws have lived with us for the past couple of months because of their finances. We dated 3 years before the wedding and things were great. Total strangers used to tell us we looked so in love. My husband is a good guy and a great soon but I feel like I take a backseat. I tend to love at 100% because I don't think you should half ass marriage but I don't think I get 100% back. I feel he is clueless to most of our issues and I'm tired of talking to a brick wall. I'm starting to push him away and shut down. 6 months in...seriously? Also I'm bored as hell. Uuuggghhh....now I see why women cheet sometimes. If he was 1/2 as good of a husband as he is a son things would be much better. I love him dearly...but I need passion and attentiveness not blugh and blah! We are newlyweds for gods sakes. I'm 100% faithful but now I see how affairs happen. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

seriously?? said:


> I feel he is clueless to most of our issues and I'm tired of talking to a brick wall. I'm starting to push him away and shut down. 6 months in...seriously? Also I'm bored as hell. _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm not sure what the problem is. You've settled into a typical marriage. What, nobody told you this happens? Odd. It happens to almost every wife. They REALLY should be informing you gals that this happens by now. Don't know why they're not.

Oh. Just go ahead and leave him now. It WON'T get better. Of that I am near 100% certain.


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## Joey2k (Oct 3, 2014)

seriously?? said:


> I feel he is clueless to most of our issues and I'm tired of talking to a brick wall.


What are your issues? What exactly have you talked to him about? And how did you say it? Is it possible he doesn't think they are "issues"?



seriously?? said:


> I'm starting to push him away and shut down.


What effect do you think that will have on your relationship? Before you do anything, you should ask if it will help or hinder the relationship.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

In-laws living with newlyweds is rarely a good idea, IMHO.

And we need more info on all the external stressors in order to offer you advice on your situation.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

At this point your post is merely a vent...there is no tangible information to give you advice on except perhaps to recommend that you refrain from disrespectful judgements of your husband. 

My recommendation is to read His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. William Harley...


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## Cristina (Mar 28, 2015)

It is difficult to give a good advice after reading your account. You need to tell things in detail. The passion of first few months doesn't remain same and it is part of the marriage.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

seriously?? said:


> I'm new here. My Husband and I have only been married just over 6 months (2nd marriage I was widowed young) and we have been bombarded with multiple huge external stressors since day one. These stressors are huge...some life changing. To top it off my In Laws have lived with us for the past couple of months because of their finances. We dated 3 years before the wedding and things were great. Total strangers used to tell us we looked so in love. My husband is a good guy and a great soon but I feel like I take a backseat. I tend to love at 100% because I don't think you should half ass marriage but I don't think I get 100% back. I feel he is clueless to most of our issues and I'm tired of talking to a brick wall. I'm starting to push him away and shut down. 6 months in...seriously? Also I'm bored as hell. Uuuggghhh....now I see why women cheet sometimes. If he was 1/2 as good of a husband as he is a son things would be much better. I love him dearly...but I need passion and attentiveness not blugh and blah! We are newlyweds for gods sakes. I'm 100% faithful but now I see how affairs happen.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



You want your H to show you the passion he showed while dating. You want to feel like you are his number 1 priority. 

Instead you have a tired husband who is stressed out about placating both his wife and his parents. Instead you have a stressed out husband who feels stymied by the presence of his parents. While his parents live under his roof, he will more naturally copy their gender roles, As He Sees Them. IOW, he emulates how he sees his father behave toward his mother. How often does his father behave passionately toward his mother in front of his son? Does his father grab her and kiss her in front of his son? Does his father hug her or hold her hand in front of his son? Do they cuddle on the couch or smile at each other over dinner? Probably not. 

This can be solved and worked on, but only if you can clearly identify what it is specifically what you expect from him.

He can't meet your emotional needs if you don't tell him exactly what they are.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

if you're bored it's not his job to entertain you.

Find things to do. Do you have a job? Hobbies?


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