# New User Introduction.



## Doug Dimmadome

Hello everyone, 
Forums really aren't my gig, but considering that I recently had an arranged marriage (we both consented) after talking for 5 hours over a week, I figured it would be good to seek advice in order to make this thing work. Looking forward to any feedback in the near future. Thank you.


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## Nailhead

I recommend 15-20 hours a week of the both of you participating in activities together. The time can be spread out over the week. Coffee together, date night or outing of some sort. Always put each other first in everything.


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## Doug Dimmadome

Nailhead said:


> I recommend 15-20 hours a week of the both of you participating in activities together. The time can be spread out over the week. Coffee together, date night or outing of some sort. Always put each other first in everything.


That sounds like a lot of time. But it may really not be if it's spread out over the week. I'll keep it in mind. Thank you.


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## Nailhead

Doug Dimmadome said:


> That sounds like a lot of time. But it may really not be if it's spread out over the week. I'll keep it in mind. Thank you.


It is not really. My Wife and I spend on the daily 1 hour in the morning. Evenings 3-5 hours(dinner, TV or other activity) . Weekends both days together. When we do it is undivided attention. No talk of work,kids, and other life stuff. Sure we do things on our own as well. My hobby is classic cars. She like to do things(dinners) with her friends.


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## Doug Dimmadome

Thank you for the tip!


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## C.C. says ...

Hi and welcome.  Where did you meet her? You talked to her for 5 hours and then decided to get married? How come? What do you think of her now? Do you think you’ll grow to love her? Sorry for all the questions, it’s a pretty interesting situation.


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## Doug Dimmadome

C.C. says ... said:


> Hi and welcome.  Where did you meet her? You talked to her for 5 hours and then decided to get married? How come? What do you think of her now? Do you think you’ll grow to love her? Sorry for all the questions, it’s a pretty interesting situation.


It's a pleasure to be welcomed. I have posted in the General Relationship Advice forum (it should be near the top as it was recent); it may answer more of what you're asking, and if not, I would not mind to answer there.


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## Affaircare

Nailhead said:


> I recommend 15-20 hours a week of the both of you participating in activities together. The time can be spread out over the week. Coffee together, date night or outing of some sort. Always put each other first in everything.


@Doug Dimmadome ,

I concur with this recommendation, and it's really not too much time if it's spread out. My own Beloved Buddhist and I spend 30 minutes with coffee on the patio each morning and 30 minutes on the deck each night=1 hour/day=7 hours. BOOM halfway there. Then we spend another hour making and eating dinner together each night and that's 1 hour/day=7 more hours... that's 14 already! The trick is that during this meal times or unwind times, no computers, no phones--try to just be with each other. Honestly, we also usually spend most of Saturday and Sunday together, doing household puttering, shopping, hiking, riding our motorcycle, or taking a trip. 

So aim for 15--and going over IS allowed.


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