# inagony's thread ona different site



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Looks like he was hurt and left the site. Found him on a different site.

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=440255&AP=1


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

wow did he delete his thread?


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

I read the other forum and he said some folks in here we calling it a troll thread?... they basically seem to be giving him the same advice as TAM members did.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

strugglinghusband said:


> I read the other forum and he said some folks in here we calling it a troll thread?... they basically seem to be giving him the same advice as TAM members did.



he made a statement that was very similar to what clairebear used so alarm bells rang with some


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> he made a statement that was very similar to what clairebear used so alarm bells rang with some


If it was a troll thread I'm sure they will sniff it out as well, sad if it is, really sad if it isnt....hopefully, if its true they guy will do whats best for the kids.....


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

What statement was this? People going through similar situations often say similar things.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I remember people almost chasing catbelieve from this forum


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

TashaB won't post further because people think she's a troll, too. 



TashaB said:


> I started to post whats been going on here and to ask what your advice is but then it made me feel like maybe I should omit the parts you may not believe. But then if you don't know the whole story then how can you help? So i decided to post nothing.


It's a shame. I was curious about how it all turned out.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

forum full of suspicious people will sometimes lead to this stuff


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

Maybe a system of verification could be set up for those who want to prove their identity. Users could send proof confidentially to the mods, who could then vouch that the user is who they say they are.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well I understand why the cynics thought he could be a fake, he had an incredible story and used a an uncommon phrase that another poster who an equally incredible story also used


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## StrangerThanFiction (Jul 19, 2011)

interesting. I wondered what happened to that thread.

the phrase used was "piss of sh*t" and it wasn't clairebear who also used it (i don't think), it was cantbelieve. check his thread it's all over.

I don't know what that means or how common the phrase is...


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

he mustve deleted his own thread


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

dymo said:


> TashaB won't post further because people think she's a troll, too.
> 
> It's a shame. I was curious about how it all turned out.


No. She stopped posting because people were telling her The Truth and she couldn't handle it. It's a pretty common theme.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> he mustve deleted his own thread


Correct, he performed a cyber hari kari. He was not banned.


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

Amplexor said:


> Correct, he performed a cyber hari kari. He was not banned.


Are you able to check if he was logging on from the same IP address as clairbear or cantbelieve?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I imagine he's pretty screwed up right now. I sure would be in his situation. Poor guy. I also feel horrible for his kids.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I still believe prison guy is conning his wife


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

dymo said:


> Are you able to check if he was logging on from the same IP address as clairbear or cantbelieve?


Wow for someone new to the site this month, you sure do know a lot about past posters and trolling


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Wow for someone new to the site this month, you sure to know about past posters and trolling


dymo isn't who he says he is!!! GET HIM!!!


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Wow for someone new to the site this month, you sure do know a lot about past posters and trolling


I've been lurking a long time.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Mmm hmm............. lol


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## ReasonableMan (Oct 18, 2011)

I don't want to accuse anyone specific of anything, but some of the troll threads are known not just by their similar (strange) phrases, but also by the quickness by which many things happen that should really take weeks if not months. 

It's always day one morning=she might be cheating, that afternoon=she's definitely cheating and has moved away with him, I found a file containing every bit of information you guys mentioned to find, plus I found out the other man is an Afghan warlord, I confronted him at a bar in Morocco and he punched me out, I hired ninjas to bring him down, but at the last minute my father in law talked me out of it and she's agreed to move back in with me.

Once again, as I mentioned at the end of the deleted thread, I read here a lot and post occasional comments because of the very high quality of advice. But it stinks that people are taken advantage of. I guess Almostrecovered has the best attitude of needing to assume it's all true to avoid cynicism and the chance that the person is telling the truth.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

dymo said:


> I've been lurking a long time.


The sneaky masses hiding in the shadows frighten me.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

ReasonableMan said:


> It's always day one morning=she might be cheating, that afternoon=she's definitely cheating and has moved away with him, I found a file containing every bit of information you guys mentioned to find, plus* I found out the other man is an Afghan warlord, I confronted him at a bar in Morocco and he punched me out, I hired ninjas to bring him down*, but at the last minute my father in law talked me out of it and she's agreed to move back in with me.


You forgot the part where the betrayed spouse gained super powers by a benevolent alien from another planet.

:rofl:


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

I don't understand why anyone would TROLL....

That being said, there do seem to be a few unbelievable stories on here...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

ReasonableMan said:


> It's always day one morning=she might be cheating, that afternoon=she's definitely cheating and has moved away with him, I found a file containing every bit of information you guys mentioned to find, *plus I found out the other man is an Afghan warlord, I confronted him at a bar in Morocco and he punched me out, I hired ninjas to bring him down*, but at the last minute my father in law talked me out of it and she's agreed to move back in with me.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Love it! And so close to some stories we've read on here before. There is one poster who comes back every so often and starts the same BS over and over and ends up getting banned. You'd think it would learn some new tricks. But it's the same thing.

At least the "Is this dress to sexy" spammer troll is harmless (even if annoying as hell).


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

ReasonableMan said:


> I guess Almostrecovered has the best attitude of needing to assume it's all true to avoid cynicism and the chance that the person is telling the truth.


Unless proven otherwise through some obvious way

which was not the case for inagony, it was likely a weird coincidence


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Cases like his are not unheard of. There have been stories in the media where wives have left their husbands and children for dangerous criminals serving time. 

What really boggles the mind is the lack of willingness on the part of legislatures to ban any type of pen pal socializing by these sociopaths with the outside world.


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## TallE (Dec 12, 2011)

Well what did the guy expect? Pretty much everyone here is a paranoid BS!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> I don't understand why anyone would TROLL....
> 
> That being said, there do seem to be a few unbelievable stories on here...


Just like I don't understand why anyone would go on Jerry Springer...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Yeah, some stories do progress with a speed that sets off red flags.

I also agree with AR in that posts should be viewed as true unless something obliously indicates a work of fiction. Not sure why some one would post a ficticous story on a message board. Maybe just for attention and to kill some time. IDK.


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Doesn't Jerry Springer pay $$$ and pay for the travel expenses (free vaca for some).


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Also not sure why S/O's need to rip hearts out and all the crap that goes with it, but **** happens...


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Random thought to self...

Always strikes me as curious....

That people going through emotional apocalypse in real life, Faced with the most brutal circumstances imaginable are so sensitive, and get so much pain from anonmous comments or suggestions on the internet... 

That they run away. Dispite knowing that what they are leaving quite possibly has the collective wisdom and experience to help them. (this really appies to random DS's that stop here.)

In all cases these comments are meaningless when compared to what's going on in their real life... 

But they can't face them.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

because it is easy to stay away from an internet forum for anonymous people


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

ReasonableMan said:


> I don't want to accuse anyone specific of anything, but some of the troll threads are known not just by their similar (strange) phrases, but also by the quickness by which many things happen that should really take weeks if not months.


This. 

I knew there was something fishy with that thread when he used the exact same phrase as clairebear but I didn't want to jump to conclusions. Other users began to get suspicious and i guess he bailed. If he's genuine, i wish him the best.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> because it is easy to stay away from an internet forum for anonymous people


yeah I know, of course... but running from real life is impossible and this place has.... 

Ah.... nevermind, I know... Denial, suppression, repression. Powerful stuff.

(im not talking about inagony now, mostly DS' and hurt LS' who shut down and run)


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

First of all I would like to say that I posted on another forum and although some of the posters there were very helpful, others made fun of me and accused of being a troll, I should have known better once I had lurked there for awhile looking for advice and if your story doesn't follow some posters script they will accuse of being a troll. Anyways I hope to find some help here, the long and sort of it is that my wife of 17 years started a pen pal relationship with an inmate for the last 6 months, this guy has a life sentence, I confronted her yesterday after confirming that she is indeed having an EA, she wants a divorce and is willing to give up kids custody. 


He posted this. I don't remember anyone making fun of him. The troll remarks were only questioning not accusing. Unless something happened after I went to bed.

Hope things work out for him. His family was definitely in it.


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## JustaJerk (Dec 2, 2011)

> Cases like his are not unheard of. There have been stories in the media where wives have left their husbands and children for dangerous criminals serving time.


No they're not. That's why I cited the Richard Ramirez case here in California. 

It _does_ happen.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

morituri said:


> Cases like his are not unheard of. There have been stories in the media where wives have left their husbands and children for dangerous criminals serving time.
> 
> What really boggles the mind is the lack of willingness on the part of legislatures to ban any type of pen pal socializing by these sociopaths with the outside world.



"Bad boy" syndrome.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

JustaJerk said:


> No they're not. That's why I cited the Richard Ramirez case here in California.
> 
> It _does_ happen.


Even Charles Manson has followers, I write to him all the time, nice guy really......kidding


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Random thought to self...
> 
> Always strikes me as curious....
> 
> ...


And then they come back.....lol


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

do WS's admit affairs right away after proof and then want to run away to their AP? Sure happens more often than I'd like to see (the run away part)

do BS's want divorce right away after discovery of an affair? Not most but we have certainly seen it here plenty of times.

do prisoners con women from prison? it's been known to happen, hopefully it isn't very common but it certainly has happened before and will happen again.


so nothing was outrageously abnormal. It was a salacious story and truly tragic and I feared for him. It was indeed weird to see that "Piss of sh!t" phrase but it was by no means definite proof. 

Was it worth mentioning? probably, most posters would have explained themselves. Now did inagony overact to being questioned about it? I'm sure to a certain extent but again he is the one in severe trauma so I dont begrudge his decision to move onto another board.


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## JustaJerk (Dec 2, 2011)

> Even Charles Manson has followers, I write to him all the time, nice guy really......kidding


Followed by- _Thank you! I'll be here all week_.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Seriously, what ever happened to that pregnant woman whose boyfriend was banging her adult daughter? He apparently had set the daughter up financially and since she couldn't afford to pay school herself, daughter was going to just carry right on sleeping with Mom's boyfriend...and at one point Mom says "Oh, well the only thing I can imagine is that my BF is sooooo good in bed, and mabye my daughter HEARD us one night, and THAT's why she won't give him up!!!"

There were some that actually believed that crap!


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> I dont begrudge his decision to move onto another board.


Nope, me neither. Very sad and scary story. I hope he's not too proud to seek professional help for himself and his children. That's gonna leave a nasty mark.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Seriously, what ever happened to that pregnant woman whose boyfriend was banging her adult daughter? He apparently had set the daughter up financially and since she couldn't afford to pay school herself, daughter was going to just carry right on sleeping with Mom's boyfriend...and at one point Mom says "Oh, well the only thing I can imagine is that my BF is sooooo good in bed, and mabye my daughter HEARD us one night, and THAT's why she won't give him up!!!"
> 
> There were some that actually believed that crap!


i remember that one pretty clearly, I played along for awhile too, in fact I don't think I caught on it may be a troll, she (he?) just didn't outlast the board.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Lon said:


> i remember that one pretty clearly, I played along for awhile too, in fact I don't think I caught on it may be a troll, she (he?) just didn't outlast the board.


Ya...sometimes, I just find that it's a little much...that's the cynic in me!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Ya...sometimes, I just find that it's a little much...that's the cynic in me!


I just read up his thread at the other forums, and the first thought that came to my mind was the story of Rubin "Hurricane" Carter. As much as I dislike trolling I hope my suspicion is right, because stories are fiction, life is real.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Seriously, what ever happened to that pregnant woman whose boyfriend was banging her adult daughter? He apparently had set the daughter up financially and since she couldn't afford to pay school herself, daughter was going to just carry right on sleeping with Mom's boyfriend...and at one point Mom says "Oh, well the only thing I can imagine is that my BF is sooooo good in bed, and mabye my daughter HEARD us one night, and THAT's why she won't give him up!!!"
> 
> There were some that actually believed that crap!


But it's all true. 

Btw, in later episodes it turns out that they were all actually lesbians and they made up an started a cruise line together... Oh wait that was bad soft porn on HBO
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Charles Manson was caught with a cell phone in his cell, determined that one of his female visitors smuggled it in.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Story of lawyer Mary Evens who helped her prisioner lover escape:

For Lawyer Mary Evans, Helping Her Lover Break Out of Prison May Have Promised Escape from Her Own Private Terrors : People.com
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Report on deathrow/lifer scams

Death Row Scam
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Wardens wife convicted for helping prisoner escape

Oklahoma warden's wife convicted of helping prisoner escape - latimes.com
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

calif_hope said:


> Wardens wife convicted for helping prisoner escape
> 
> Oklahoma warden's wife convicted of helping prisoner escape - latimes.com
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


In Mississippi the governor does that.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

The story itself didn't make me suspect. It was these two things:

1 - How quickly it moved along. Someone mentioned that earlier. I actually posted it in the thread, but not as a trolling accusation.

2 - He confirmed it was an affair because of her internet browsing history. Who doesn't erase their browsing history after looking at ANYTHING more incriminating than kitten videos?


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

San Francisco news article:

No shortage of women who dream of snaring a husband on Death Row / Experts ponder why deadliest criminals get so many proposals

No shortage of women who dream of snaring a husband on Death Row / Experts ponder why deadliest criminals get so many proposals - SFGate
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

And Death Row inmates have no shortage of suitors. In fact, the more notorious the murderer, the less he has to work for female companionship, San Quentin spokesman Eric Messick said.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Last one:

Guys are you looking for a pen-pal:

http://www.jailhouse-babes.com/

Female prisioners seeking pen-pals!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

morituri said:


> Cases like his are not unheard of. There have been stories in the media where wives have left their husbands and children for dangerous criminals serving time.
> 
> What really boggles the mind is the lack of willingness on the part of legislatures to ban any type of pen pal socializing by these sociopaths with the outside world.


Man the ACLU would be ALL over that.


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> I remember people almost chasing catbelieve from this forum


 
*OMG, I wanted to say this -when I saw the "piece of ****", I was like :scratchhead:*


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

I'm pretty sure my exh posted here, I kept telling him to join an online support group so he can get some impartial advice. I know the advice to the other spouse is to ignore it, but I couldn't help. He too was called a troll. I'm not 100% sure it's him, I never asked after seeing some responses, I just let it go.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StrangerThanFiction (Jul 19, 2011)

clairebear and cantbelieve are both banned? were they same I.P. as inagony?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

when did this come about?


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I'm shocked that they got banned....wow.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Several member profiles were set up by the same person which is a violation of forum rules. So is trolling. All were banned for those reasons.


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

If they are all one in the same, the person is a heck of a fiction writer.

Is there a penalty box type of thing that lists banned members?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

any other user names that he used amp?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> any other user names that he used amp?


More personalities than Sybil.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Wow. Kudos to those who picked up on the subleties of this.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> More personalities than Sybil.


and just as sick

seriously wtf? why screw with people who are hurting so bad?


I hope none of his aliases are on my friend list


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

crazy, what a waste of our precious time.


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## Sven (Nov 18, 2009)

I left here over two years ago because somebody was an ass on a thread discussing a topic that is very important to me, and a moderator locked. That pissed me off. I just came back to update my story. We'll see if I stick around.

This is not the place to be flippant or cruel. People post here because they are in the worse pain they've ever experienced.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Ok, I'm lost.

Clairbear, Cantbelieve were the same person? What? they didn't write the same at all.

that's really strange.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Sven said:


> I left here over two years ago because somebody was an ass on a thread discussing a topic that is very important to me, and a moderator locked. That pissed me off. I just came back to update my story. We'll see if I stick around.
> 
> This is not the place to be flippant or cruel. People post here because they are in the worse pain they've ever experienced.


you can't take it personally if your thread gets locked, just because you are genuine and sincere doesn't mean that other commenters on the thread are. If it was locked it wasn't because of you, the mods just had to deal with the problem with the tools they have at their disposal, and when a thread spirals downwards fast they just have to close it.


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

I'm curious as to who the other personalities were as I'd like to read some more fiction by the same author.


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Clairbear and Cantbelieve. 

It makes sense. Their unbelievable stories progressed at an unbelievable rate. I thought odd was how Clairbear, after having been gone for a while, popped back up suddenly when some folks bumped his thread.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

makes me doubt the sincerity of all the really crazy new posts that get on here. Like jaimie's (not making accusations, just that its hard to offer a well thought-out reply when you question the sincerity of the OP)


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Thank god shamwow wasn't banned!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Dadof3 said:


> Clairbear and Cantbelieve.
> 
> It makes sense. Their unbelievable stories progressed at an unbelievable rate. I thought odd was how Clairbear, after having been gone for a while, popped back up suddenly when some folks bumped his thread.


I thought the same thing. Stuff seemed to happen way too fast.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Yea - you know we can get all suspicious, but Shamwow and Jaime's threads are within the realm of normality.

Not to say Cantbelieve and ClairBears weren't, but think about their story byline. It was just believeable enough to placate our spidey senses. but everything that happened, was fast paced and came to a "movie conclusion".


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Is there a penalty box that lists banned members?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Haven't seen one
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

There is but it is only visible through the administrative panel.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Password?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

almostrecovered said:


> password?
> _posted via mobile device_


cheatingsux


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

thanks for answering


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Thank god shamwow wasn't banned!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah, but I honestly wish Shamwow as a troll. He's a damn good guy and he shouldn't have gone through what he has.

If he was a troll then it wouldn't be true. Unfortunately it is. Here's to hoping the the redhead works out for him!


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

MrK said:


> The story itself didn't make me suspect. It was these two things:
> 
> 1 - How quickly it moved along. Someone mentioned that earlier. I actually posted it in the thread, but not as a trolling accusation.
> 
> 2 - He confirmed it was an affair because of her internet browsing history. Who doesn't erase their browsing history after looking at ANYTHING more incriminating than kitten videos?


That was me. I too believe every story here is true, until facts don't add up and start becoming red flags. And I know the court system and things simply cannot move that fast. I started recognizing the same writing style in similar stories and the same figure of speech (piss of ****). I had to finally throw the BS flag on cantbelieve's story when he stated that he got the PO on behalf of his wife, which is just not legally possible. Imagine if people were able to get ROs on behalf of other people, even a family member? No, it has to be the victim that has to file it. OM was arrested late Thursday night, WW was in the hospital, and cantbelieve was able to execute a SWORN affadavit for an RO with the district attorney and get the RO on the court dockett BEFORE morning court on Friday? All without the advice of a lawyer, which he didn't see because his lawyer was not in his office Friday? Then his wife gets released from the hospital on Friday night, and a DAY later she's delirious from an infection and had to go to the hospital on Sunday night? Yet she's able to go to MC already by Tuesday. Hmmmmm. Yeah, right. These things caused me to question cantbelieves story, although I never called him a troll outright. To say things moved quickly along is an understatement. 

There were numerous inconsistencies with clairebears thread as well. But the story was basically the same, complete with psycho OM with rich enabling parents. And he was careful to not say what state or country he was in. What could the harm be of saying what state you're in? Of course he couldn't say, because anyone could quickly look up the criminal and civil statutes of his state. 

As to why someone would troll this site that has quite a few people hurting from infidelity? Because people like that get off on other's misery. Its the same reason why people pull hoaxes, call in bomb threats, or kick over an anthill and get a thrill out of seeing the ants scurry around. He or whatever accomplices he may or may not have had, probably got a kick out of all the angry responses his trolling threads got.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Thank god shamwow wasn't banned!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lol..yeah that`d kill me, I was seriously invested in his story and his character.


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## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

dymo said:


> Maybe a system of verification could be set up for those who want to prove their identity. Users could send proof confidentially to the mods, who could then vouch that the user is who they say they are.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I understand why people might want verification, especially on a forum that so often deals with issues of broken trust, but...I don't think it would really be terribly helpful to weed out the trolls pre-emptively. In part, I think this because it would deter sincere posters that aren't skilled with written expression too often, but, in part, I also think that trolls do serve a function on forums. 

They promote solidarity among those who recognize their antics, I think. And, they give us a chance to practice disputing BS. And, they give us a way to gauge what's ridiculous and what's real.

There are lots of threads I come across that seem completely absurd (like the woman with the very rich husband who went on a trip and moved the really hot gardener into the spare room to test her faithfulness), but, I tend to just write them off in my mind or not take them seriously, or chuckle at the silliness of it.

Perhaps those people are using this forum not to address their issues sincerely, but in a deviant way. For someone to be invested enough to take the time to come up with a crazy story and get info/advice/comments on it means they are trying to work something out, I think -- like the bad kid who acts out to get attention. Maybe a story or a script or an idea in the mind, or maybe they are just messing with people until something in them clicks that these are real, live human beings on here with real things going on and maybe they either learn compassion or just go on acting like morons. This forum isn't for them, but, maybe one day they will grow up and think about what they encountered. 

I sometimes learn a little from the troll threads, too, like what's too farfetched to make sense or what others might think of as acceptable or unacceptable. It derails the factory sense of people with the same problems and the same responses (the WS and BS script cycle is usually the same, even with differences in details and the rawness of individual pain) and keeps me on my toes. These threads sometimes serve to confirm ideas or principles, even if the only thing they do is to stir up resistance or indignance about the disingenuous motives of the troll poster. Sometimes, you can learn about real life by realizing what it isn't...via negativa.

I'm not trying to slam you, just offering a counterpoint to yours in the interest of considering the value (or lack thereof) of trolls and the lengths we might go to in safeguarding against them. We can't fortress ourselves away from all the idiots, even if we'd like to, right?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

So is the site also being trolled by passive doormat guys from the UK who have evil evil wives who don't care about how much the humiliate and hurt them?

We've had a series of these stories over the last 6 months from the UK. The woman lies about the affair, the husband figures it out, she lies then comes clean, but can't give up the AP, and then proceeds to carry on the affair in front of our UK guy. He writes on and on about the horror she is, and ignores all pleas to grow a spine.


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

desert-rose said:


> I understand why people might want verification, especially on a forum that so often deals with issues of broken trust, but...I don't think it would really be terribly helpful to weed out the trolls pre-emptively. In part, I think this because it would deter sincere posters that aren't skilled with written expression too often, but, in part, I also think that trolls do serve a function on forums.
> 
> They promote solidarity among those who recognize their antics, I think. And, they give us a chance to practice disputing BS. And, they give us a way to gauge what's ridiculous and what's real.
> 
> ...


I'm not saying that everyone should be verified. But when suspicions start to arise, the OP should have the option of providing proof in a way that protects their privacy if they so wish.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I don`t think it matters.

Heck there are two threads that started today I`m suspicious of simply because of the users screen names.
lol.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I was thinking about starting my own troll thread.

To start out, the wife has has twenty kids - 18 by 19 different men and 2 by farm animals and one by a gray alien dude.

Yes that's 18 kids with 22 partners. That's what makes my story so sad. 

Yet I do love her/him/them

I have been raising these 18 kids while she goes out and parties with an abusive alien exBF met on FB dedicated to alien abucties into BSDM with stuffed lichen.

Meanwhile she is rubbing it in my face tat I too once was in love with my 2nd grade teacher, whom I might add was hot and it was the best 12 school years of my life.

Anyhow the men in black took her this morning and she coldly told me she would get an RO against me if I spoke to anyone about it.

....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

That's why you have such clarity. What else can be thrown at you?


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

tacoma said:


> I don`t think it matters.
> 
> Heck there are two threads that started today I`m suspicious of simply because of the users screen names.
> lol.


Might matter to any genuine posters.

Just looked at Bleeding's thread. He's banned.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

dymo said:


> Might matter to any genuine posters.
> 
> Just looked at Bleeding's thread. He's banned.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Maybe it does matter.

It`s getting ridiculous.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...-can-i-tell-my-wife-i-am-love-her-father.html


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## Saffron (Mar 7, 2010)

Lately I don't respond to threads that give me the impression of someone trolling. If it's a BS, I gauge by the emotions conveyed, not so much the story. If it's the DS, I'm often too quick to think "troll" because it's still hard to believe people can be so blind to their bad behavior and choices. 

Now I try to hold back before posting if a thread makes me feel indignant by the content. If it's so outlandish or appalling I automatically think, "It can't be real!" and want to lash out for someone trying to get a reaction from a group of hurt people. But I also realize that these situations could be real, so it's best for me to keep my mouth shut. Some posters are better at keeping it short and to the point in their responses; I tend to pontificate too much.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

There was an article the other day about some cancer victim support forums getting regularly trolled by fakes. Apparently some people like the affection and support they get there, or do it for the attention. Could be the case here too.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I cant find that ipad thread, willing to bet that's another one


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> I cant find that ipad thread, willing to bet that's another one


Apparently not.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...usband-blew-another-man-what-should-i-do.html

I'm actually pretty happy that Bleeding turned out to be a fake. Was feeling so bad for him reading that thread.

Dear clairbear/cantbelieve/Bleeding

You are wasting your talents on a message board. Go write a book. I'm sure there would be a nice niche market for these types of stories.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Actually this thread is what put us on the trail. Thanks! Spotting a troll can be difficult and these identities had been under our radar. We do try to be cautious and not ban someone just because their story seems over the top. Shamwow was in the cross hairs for example. Some are so wild you just have to laugh and salute them for their creativity. (If anyone has been around long enough to remember "Property of Hans" or the infamous "Cosmo Beat Down") Then you get the clowns that post bogus stories about celebs like Ashton and Demi. Sigh, I guess there will always be jack-asses in the world.


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

So hold up

Can't believe had a wife that got caught up with a Narcissist, who got arrested- then when inagony talked about the wife messing with a dude in jail and trying to get him out- I really raised my eyebrow but didn't say anything. Then I saw the piece of ++++, and I was about to really go there but I was so harsh in the affair with college student thread that I let it go.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Could we get a pure "trolls" section. Some of it can be quite entertaining.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Shaggy said:


> Could we get a pure "trolls" section. Some of it can be quite entertaining.


I love it, we could call it "Under the Bridge"


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I was taken in by Bleeding's story too. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> We do try to be cautious and not ban someone just because their story seems over the top. Shamwow was in the cross hairs for example.


Shamwow's thread was originally in the 'Sex in marriage' forum. I don't remember if it was me or someone else who suggested that he contact a moderator to have his thread moved to the CWI forum to get more advice. He, like many in that forum, had issues with the lack of sex in his marriage.

Some of us 'Coping with infidelity' forum folk told him that the huge red flags his wife's behavior were waving, were signs of an affair. He seemed to be initially in denial because he loved and trusted his wife, but her blatant behavior left no doubt that she was cheating on him.

In any case, I don't believe that a story like Shamwow's is over the top (unlike the present thread 'How can I tell my wife that I am in love with her father'). Time and again, it has been shown that many married men and women who travel for business have been known to use it to hide a long term affair(s). KanDo's thread 'How would you interpret this message' and ShoopidyBoop's 'Going to leave my wife after her affair. Feeling guilty because I haven't told her' are examples of this.

As far as inagony's story is concerned, there are also stories of married women who have fallen in love with inmates after forming pen pal type friendships. In the past, some of these stories have even made headline news showing the outrageous behavior that some of these wives are capable of. So no, I don't consider a story like inagony's to necessarily be the work of some passing troll playing with the betrayed spouses in this forum.


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## StrangerThanFiction (Jul 19, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I cant find that ipad thread, willing to bet that's another one


yes, especially since the poster's name was something like "blowingmary"


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

morituri said:


> So no, I don't consider a story like inagony's to necessarily be the work of some passing troll playing with the betrayed spouses in this forum.


The fact that he's banned pretty much confirms he's a troll, though.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

morituri said:


> As far as inagony's story is concerned, there are also stories of married women who have fallen in love with inmates after forming pen pal type friendships. In the past, some of these stories have even made headline news showing the outrageous behavior that some of these wives are capable of. So no, I don't consider a story like inagony's to necessarily be the work of some passing troll playing with the betrayed spouses in this forum.


That just makes him a clever troll. The thing with Bleeding, cantbelieve, clairebear, and inagony's stories are that they are entirely plausible, and like the inmate story, happen in real life. And that makes it all the more despicable, playing with the emotions of all the hurting people on this site and other sites, and getting a kick out of it.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

dymo said:


> The fact that he's banned pretty much confirms he's a troll, though.


Wrong. Some long time, established members have been banned for a short period of time and they are not trolls. All it takes is a blatantly disrespectful post to do it.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Ok, So Bleeding was with the same Ip-address? next time they might just use some proxies to post


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> That just makes him a clever troll. The thing with Bleeding, cantbelieve, clairebear, and inagony's stories are that they are entirely plausible, and like the inmate story, happen in real life. And that makes it all the more despicable, playing with the emotions of all the hurting people on this site and other sites, and getting a kick out of it.


So are you saying that because they included details about the OM (a stalker, an inmate, a combat veteran, a doctor, a police man/woman*) that they are immediately suspects of being trolls? :scratchhead:

*Got the makings of 'The Village People' right there


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> Ok, So Bleeding was with the same Ip-address? next time they might just use some proxies to post


That is possible. There are proxy IP services like HMA (Hide My A$$) that allow folks to hide their IP addresses.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

There is one similarity with the stories: they bait initially, wait a few rounds of posts where folks come conjecturing, then pick up and expand on one of the suggested possibilities. So somebody mentions the OM can turn out a psychotic stalker and he does turn into a stalker, after the mention of conjugal visits the proof of those immediately surfaces, etc.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

morituri said:


> So are you saying that because they included details about the OM (a stalker, an inmate, a combat veteran, a doctor, a police man/woman*) that they are immediately suspects of being trolls? :scratchhead:


Nope, thats what makes him a clever troll. Everything about those stories were believable. Hell, I didn't suspect Bleeding at all. I was completely taken in. I didn't even begin to suspect clairebear and cantbelieve until I saw the speed at which things were progressing (legally) and of course, the piss of ****!!!, reference. 



morituri said:


> *Got the makings of 'The Village People' right there


:lol:

Just need the cowboy, construction worker, and the indian.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

The after effects of this incident will be bad. People will called trolls much more often


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I need a job where I can spend more time here to catch up on all this. I also tend to believe people at first unless they prove me wrong. Here and in real life.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

snap said:


> There is one similarity with the stories: they bait initially, wait a few rounds of posts where folks come conjecturing, then pick up and expand on one of the suggested possibilities. So somebody mentions the OM can turn out a psychotic stalker and he does turn into a stalker, after the mention of conjugal visits the proof of those immediately surfaces, etc.


He was clever, playing the audience like a fiddle.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> The after effects of this incident will be bad. People will called trolls much more often


:iagree:


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Bleeding's thread too? sheesh

If it's the one I'm thinking of (woman goes back to first b/f who now has cancer). I started to think it was strange that she got pregnant so fast.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

working_together said:


> Bleeding's thread too? sheesh
> 
> If it's the one I'm thinking of (woman goes back to first b/f who now has cancer). I started to think it was strange that she got pregnant so fast.


Yeah, strange how it quickly went from denying to she already moved out and is pregnant, now OM is terminal and VERY QUICKLY getting the operation for the bone marrow transplant? That was DAMN QUICK. That should have set off my spidey senses.


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## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

dymo said:


> I'm not saying that everyone should be verified. But when suspicions start to arise, the OP should have the option of providing proof in a way that protects their privacy if they so wish.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That makes sense. Then, there is less chance that the person will feel hurt for being falsely accused of trolling and might actually stick around....i see your point.


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Yeah, strange how it quickly went from denying to she already moved out and is pregnant, now OM is terminal and VERY QUICKLY getting the operation for the bone marrow transplant? That was DAMN QUICK. That should have set off my spidey senses.


Yeah, The speed at which some posts move along at is a big red flag. Medical, judicial, legal, and investigative procedures occuring with in hours rather than days are a big tip off..


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Is this another one?

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...bss-hook-up-after-affair-over.html#post556937


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## StrangerThanFiction (Jul 19, 2011)

mods working overtime


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Yardman said:


> Is this another one?
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...bss-hook-up-after-affair-over.html#post556937



most likely. Looks like the poster was banned and the thread removed.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I think jerkoff fiction writer is going into hyperdrive now that the jig is up


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I think jerkoff fiction writer is going into hyperdrive now that the jig is up


Yep, OCD?

Oh, I like the "Under The Bridge" forum idea for trolls :smthumbup:


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I wonder if he'll take suggestions?

I vote for a pair of conjoined twins that cheat on each their attached twin with the other conjoined twin..


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Excellent idea, but how would a conjoined twin do that without the others knowledge?

I like your alien ideas and would like to see one involving alien abduction and pregnancy


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

things your ws did but won't do with you- "My wife allowed herself to be anally probed by an alien and won't let me do it!!"


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> things your ws did but won't do with you- "My wife allowed herself to be anally probed by an alien and won't let me do it!!"


The only thing aliens ever learned from anal probing was that 15% of the males liked it.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> The only thing aliens ever learned from anal probing was that 15% of the males liked it.



not going to give the Kids in the Hall credit?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> not going to give the Kids in the Hall credit?


Good call AR, that's exactly where it came from. I miss that show!!!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

the reunion two years ago on IFC was "meh"


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

btw- my favorite line from KItH

"(gasp) You chose the child molester's jam!!"


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

FWIW, he gave up trolling over there in JFO. There's so many BS stories there that his thread quickly got buried and forgotten. Simply too many people there. Probably why he tried trolling here again.


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## oldmittens (Dec 2, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> not going to give the Kids in the Hall credit?


Kids in the Hall is a great show. A great *Canadian *show Just one of the many great things from Canada Almostrecovered


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Eh?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oldmittens (Dec 2, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Eh?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




http://talkaboutmarriage.com/private-members-section/36022-not-sure-what-do-18.html


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> Wow. Kudos to those who picked up on the subleties of this.


Lol, this is so funny to read.. Some people scolded me when a little way into the story from clairbear I called bullship. I think some folks actually made me feel bad... Lol. Didn't take long till I abandoned the thread still feeling something wasn't right. I felt like I was being gaslighted... Hahaha Thats really funny! Kinda makes me feel better that my radar wasn't off and I wasn't paranoid and crazy I'd like to know what other threads or users were the same because my radar went off a few times and I'm generally very trusting if my radar. I humor it being exceptional. Gosh I feel better... Lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

I was totally sucked into clairebear's story. Totally. But none of the others. Wow.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Lol, this is so funny to read.. Some people scolded me when a little way into the story from clairbear I called bullship.


:smthumbup:


*Pit-of-my-stomach =*


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

LOL.

But seriously... It's pretty disconcerting to realize that your being trollighted. 

You finally emerge from a tramatic multi year gaslighting campaign at the hands of your spouse, your radar for bullsh*t has a hair trigger... Easy to slip back into the questioning your own sanity/reality when your on perma-high alert. 

I'm not good with my reality being bent or manipulated. Good to hear that I wasn't/am not "off" when I get these on uneasy feelings.. But, I hope the mods here are extra sensitive to the damage this type of activity could cause and put some high end measures in place to prevent this...


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Maybe we can create some sort of troll filter by petitioning the moderators to create a stickie thread titled "Newcomers, Read This First". In it would be contained all the links from the best posts of the 'Coping With Infidelity' forum. 

Whenever a new member started a thread, the first question that would be asked would be 'Did you RTFS (read the [email protected]#$ng stickies)?' If the answer was no or he/she chose not to answer the question, then the poster could be treated as a troll and ignored. Just a thought.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Like Gabriel I completely bought into the clairebear story.


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