# Fog Talk



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

What are some of the craziest things BS's have heard from WS who are in the fog? My WH has been in the fog for a couple of weeks now. I have heard it all! The craziest thing he has done is ask for a D while in the fog! The fact that he lies when I clearly know the truth is beyond me  I have even asked him why he is lying and he says "I'm not lying! Why do I need to lie?" He is also completely obsessed with how he looks. Most of our conversations now revolve around him and his exercise routine, his new haircut or if I think he looks good, different or younger ( he is 27!) Most of the time I just let him talk and think to myself "why doesn't he realize how silly he sounds?" oh well..I would love to hear other people's stories about "fog talk"


----------



## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Mine said, "we wouldn't be going through this divorce if you would have just left me alone". Translation: "If you would have just let me commit adultery until I got tired of it and not say anything, we could have worked things out."


----------



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

so my H is going ahead with the D process. he is getting divorce papers sent in the mail. he is deep in the fog right now. i laughed on the phone with him and he said i was being disrespectful. i posted a comment on facebook and he said I was trying to "blast" him for everyone to see. these aren't my intentions. why does everything i say or do seem to get me into trouble with H? but him running around town with another woman while me and my daughter go about our lives as usual, what is that? is that not being disrespectful to your WIFE!?! and why does he keep telling me that when i am disrespectful it is only pushing him farther away from me? he is filing for a D! how much farther away can i push him at this point? between his emotional roller coaster and mine, i don't know how long i can hang on. i am trying to distance myself from his emotions but it is hard. and the things that come out of his mouth, although i know he is in a fog, hurt very much. it is literally killing me.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I would have probably posted about the pending divorce too. Why protect him and his actions? He deserves to be shamed.


----------



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I would have probably posted about the pending divorce too. Why protect him and his actions? He deserves to be shamed.


Funny thing is it had nothing to do with the pending D. I personally don't want the world to know either since three weeks ago we were a very happy family it's super embarrassing to me still. The post was a quote about how Real Men stay faithful and don't have time to look for other women cause they are to busy trying to figure out new ways to love their own...i posted the link with "So True" in the comment box. He still hasn't admitted to the EA but he finds this to be "blasting" him. What an A**!! Then he says that I am trying to make him look like the bad guy and his family might see it. Doesn't he think his family will notice I am not there during the Holidays? They will find out eventually :scratchhead:


----------



## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

My WH curses at me, tells me all I do is make him feel bad (umm????????), is depressed, and tonight tells me he "believes he loves me" (another big ummmmm????????) Says he's not missing the drug (OW) of a year long affair.......REALLY???????? Then why so depressed????? Now that's fog.......


----------



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

onthefence16 said:


> My WH curses at me, tells me all I do is make him feel bad (umm????????), is depressed, and tonight tells me he "believes he loves me" (another big ummmmm????????) *Says he's not missing the drug (OW) of a year long affair*.......REALLY???????? Then why so depressed????? Now that's fog.......


My WH is the same way but WH has only been talking with OW since 9-22 and that was only once or twice for a week until 9/29 then it was twice a day. we are two weeks out from DDay and he has already filed for a divorce! I can't imagine how he'll be a year from now. He is very mean to me though and says that I am always making him feel "guilty"...well duh! he should feel guilty cause he is doing something he shouldn't!


----------



## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

somuchinlove said:


> What are some of the craziest things BS's have heard from WS who are in the fog?



10. I did tell the compliance officer about the text [about the threesome] and she said she didn't have a problem with it.

9. Do you really think I would do something like that?

8. THAT [something I said] is the reason we're getting a divorce.

7. You act like you can't trust me.

6. All of this I'm doing, all of this divorce, is for the benefit of our children.

5. It was just a joke [saying yes to a threesome].

4. I have been the perfect wife for the past year [except for the part when I was being an attention *****].

3. I deleted them because if you read them you wouldn't understand.

2. I changed the passwords on my phone, e-mails and FB because I would like just one place in my life that I can have a little privacy.

1. I have a special relationship with Jesus.





somuchinlove said:


> ( he is 27!)


Mine is 42 going on 18. A middle aged woman who thinks she's Katy Perry, and dresses like it. Now THAT looks stupid. Very sad, for her.


----------



## FML2011 (Sep 21, 2011)

So many things...

I don't know what I want.
I love her and want to be with her.
Immediately followed by - I love you and want to be with you.
Then followed by - I don't want to be with anyone right now.
She makes me happy - what's wrong with that?
Once again, it's not what you think (after seeing his car parked outside her condo one morning).
I lied to you because the truth is just too painful.

And there are probably a thousand more lies I could post.


----------



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

*1. I have a special relationship with Jesus.*

:lol: That's crazy!!

I should start making a list of all the things he says. A few times, I actually thought H had been on this site and stole some of these lines. It's unbelievable how WS's follow a script and they don't even know!


----------



## newlife94 (Aug 11, 2011)

somuchinlove said:


> *1. I have a special relationship with Jesus.*
> 
> :lol: That's crazy!!
> 
> I should start making a list of all the things he says. A few times, I actually thought H had been on this site and stole some of these lines. It's unbelievable how WS's follow a script and they don't even know!


The Jesus thing....maybe what the WS meant was -- "I have a special relationship with Jesus" meaning the spanish name for George! LOL)

OMG....When I first started on this site I couldn't believe it either that my H was following "the script." One day if he ever comes out of the fog I would love for him to see his emails and compare them to the stuff here. He is just swearing up and down that he is "happy and carefree" and that he is enjoying his freedom! REALLY????? Cause he seems pretty darn miserable to me- cursing at his kids, talking crap about how terrible our marriage and he is losing sleep, hair turning grey from the stress. Yep, he is right- he is definitely happier now. :scratchhead:

 I wish he would snap out of this fog and see what he is doing to himself and our family and how detrimental this is to the 3 boys we are responsible for raising!


----------



## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Mike188 said:


> 1. I have a special relationship with Jesus.


It can be construed as Jesus being one of her OMs?


----------



## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

FML2011 said:


> So many things...
> 
> Then followed by - I don't want to be with anyone right now.


Oh yeah, this one too. She has zero interest in men but is texting her new "friend" 150-200 times a day. She says they are just talking about her new house (that her parents bought for her).





Mike188 said:


> 10. I did tell the compliance officer about the text [about the threesome] and she said she didn't have a problem with it.


I pressed on her it more and actually what she told the compliance officer was that she is in a divorce and her husband may call her with crazy accusations but that they are all lies. Doing a little pre-spin and damage control. My wife is so emotional and dramatic that she probably started crying and got emotional and was talking kind of erratic like she always does. The compliance officer probably thought that she was kind of crazy.


----------



## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

Hey Mike....wow to that one about the special relationship with Jesus.....My WH wrote a book on the Holy Tabernacle during the days in the desert and his AP was a worship leader at a church...last night I heard of a story of a Pastor/Associate Pastor who had an affair....so....just because one claims to follow after Yahushua/Jesus does not mean they are saved....the wheat and the tares....I always thought that the tares were non beleivers...but turns out they are actually believers.....Oh my....


----------



## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

onthefence16 said:


> Hey Mike....wow to that one about the special relationship with Jesus.....My WH wrote a book on the Holy Tabernacle during the days in the desert and his AP was a worship leader at a church...last night I heard of a story of a Pastor/Associate Pastor who had an affair....so....just because one claims to follow after Yahushua/Jesus does not mean they are saved....the wheat and the tares....I always thought that the tares were non beleivers...but turns out they are actually believers.....Oh my....


Oh, I have figured that out. My marriage counselor is Baptist and is very spiritual and very knowledgeable. I remember back during the "good ole days" of my turmoil our MC kept looking at the big cross my wife wears around her neck which was hanging down around her boobs, which she was showing WAAAYYYY too much of IMO. The MC asked her about the cross she was wearing and asked her what that meant to her. Then she started asking her questions about her spirituality. This was about two minutes after I had described her latest flirting binge. It really put my wife on the hot seat. She was really uncomfortable. I loved it.


----------



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

newlife94 said:


> The Jesus thing....maybe what the WS meant was -- "I have a special relationship with Jesus" meaning the spanish name for George! LOL)
> 
> OMG....When I first started on this site I couldn't believe it either that my H was following "the script." One day if he ever comes out of the fog I would love for him to see his emails and compare them to the stuff here. *He is just swearing up and down that he is "happy and carefree" and that he is enjoying his freedom! REALLY????? Cause he seems pretty darn miserable to me- cursing at his kids, talking crap about how terrible our marriage and he is losing sleep, hair turning grey from the stress. Yep, he is right- he is definitely happier now. *:scratchhead:
> 
> I wish he would snap out of this fog and see what he is doing to himself and our family and how detrimental this is to the 3 boys we are responsible for raising!


Are we possibly married to the same man? My H says he is "having the time of his life" and "finding out who he is". Apparently for the past 7 years, I have done nothing but beat him into the ground, which is funny cause in the next breath of air he tells me that if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have the great life he has now  I never would have thought that a person could be so hypnotized into thinking that they are right and everybody else is wrong. I hope that one day H and I can look back on this and he'll think "WTH was I doing?". I just hope that day is sooner rather than later...


----------



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

Mike188 said:


> Oh yeah, this one too. She has zero interest in men but is texting her new "friend" 150-200 times a day. She says they are just talking about her new house (that her parents bought for her).


My H used to never text but maybe 300 times per month. I checked text messages for this month (which just started about 1.5 weeks ago) and he is already up to 2,500 messages!! My 12 year old daughter is at 3,000 for the current month...I guess WH is now a teenager again. He still will not admit there is an OW but he too has a "friend" and she seems to "understand him"...whatever!!


----------



## newlife94 (Aug 11, 2011)

somuchinlove said:


> Are we possibly married to the same man? My H says he is "having the time of his life" and "finding out who he is". Apparently for the past 7 years, I have done nothing but beat him into the ground, which is funny cause in the next breath of air he tells me that if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have the great life he has now  I never would have thought that a person could be so hypnotized into thinking that they are right and everybody else is wrong. I hope that one day H and I can look back on this and he'll think "WTH was I doing?". I just hope that day is sooner rather than later...


Exactly!!! My H has told me that he "appeared to have it all, but that was only because of (me)." And he also said that he is "finding himself" and HAS to take his power back. WTF???? Take power back??? The dumbest thing he ever said was this: "I was controlled my whole life, by my Mom and you. Also, I controlled our entire marriage, not right it just is. And now I am hypersensitive to people trying to control me."

Anybody else understand those statements???? He was controlled his whole life but he controlled our marriage. I cannot figure out who was doing the controlling and I am so confused. He accusses me almost everyday of trying to control him. Like a few weeks ago I told him that he needed to understand that I am trying my hardest (we are 11 months into a 12 month deployment and it is HARD under normal circumstances and then throw in an A!!!!) His response to me... I do not HAVE to understand anything, you won't control what I understand.
OMG!!!! I have been giving the R thing enough time to work but it is becoming almost impossible with him being so defensive and mean to me. He told me the other day that I had crossed one of his boundaries!?!?!? Really???? I crossed a boundary but you are having meals with another female and I am crossing boundaries by asking about it???? I just can't do this anymore. He continues to gaslight me and make me think I am crazy. This fog of his is suffocating me.


----------



## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

A little dose of reality for your wife....wonder how much she will squirm if she doesn't repent and is standing in front of the Most High on Judgement day.......Very sad indeed....


----------



## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Mine said yesterday.... it is nobody's fault we are going through this right now... um ok really?? Then he said, why can't you be civil, the situation is what it is... um... ok


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Anyone who has to talk about how happy they are, how much fun they're having, blah blah blah, are blowing smoke up their own ass.

They're just trying to convince themselves.


----------



## donie (Oct 12, 2011)

W bought a track phone and was dumb enough to activate it by using her regular cell phone. I asked her she said " I bought it for a coworker. She is in an abusive relationship and i really worry for her". 
Staying at morgans house tonight (Which everyday she came home from work would complain about how much of an idiot morgan is). Why are you staying there tonight? She is in an abusive relationship and wanted to talk with me about it. Really two abusive relationships. Hhhmmm.
I am soooo depressed when im around you. Thats all you do is make me depressed. When im away from you i am so much happier. Yeah. We will see how happy she is in a few months.

AND THE FINALE:
Then found out where OMs parents house is. Yeah he lives with his parents. Figured i would drive by there just out of curiosity. Her car was parked in the drive. Next day i called her, asked her where she stayed at lastnight. She said at her moms. Really, cause i drove by his house and your car was parked outside. W says no i stayed at my moms. So i gave her the address and she finally said yeah i stayed there lastnight. I thought to myself finally she is going to admit to it. Then she says i only sleeped on the couch. HAHAHA!!!


----------



## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

I forgot one:

*"I have been a shining example of Christianity to you."*

Yep, she said that to me about six months ago after 18 months of screwing around and acting like a little tramp. How can a person do what she has done and still think they are a shining example Christianity?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Mike188 said:


> I forgot one:
> 
> *"I have been a shining example of Christianity to you."*
> 
> Yep, she said that to me about six months ago after 18 months of screwing around and acting like a little tramp. How can a person do what she has done and still think they are a shining example Christianity?


I know many Christians who do things that aren't Christian-like, and yet they don't make the connection.

They do, however, never forget to remind you that you're going to Hell because you aren't as awesome as they are.


----------



## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

I'm awesome.
And I don't care where I go at the end.
Because I'll be dead


----------

