# Is what my Husband did cheating?



## thesimplethings (Jun 6, 2014)

I wanted to share my story and get some perspective and opinions on my situation. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years and together for 10 years. My trust in him has always been infallible when it comes to cheating and inappropriate behavior with other women. Then, my husband went on a work trip. This was a "reward type" vacation for the employee's hard work, not any business or meetings were taking place. Pretty much pure employee fraternization for 4 days.

After he left for the trip I had this sick sense that he was going to cheat or come close. Well, I didn't say anything to him while he was gone because it was so unlike me. I never worried before. The night he got back, we put the kids to bed and then he dropped the bomb on me. A female coworker kissed him and he stopped it right away. His story claims that everyone was hanging out in a group at bars in town and when the bars closed, they went back to the hotel where everyone was staying. A small group gathered in this woman's hotel room, and continued to party until 5am drinking. The group dwindled down, during which my husband passed out on the couch in her hotel room. When the last guy left (leaving just my husband and this woman) my husband heard the door close, woke up, found her out on the patio, where she was upset and crying and then she started kissing him on the lips, not just a peck. He immediately pulled away and said "no, this is not okay" and left. He called his coworker that just left and said wait up for me so we can walk back to our rooms on the other side of the resort together. It all happened very fast. 

So, a little backstory. This woman who kissed him recently transferred jobs into his division. He had not known her long, only a couple of months. They had only talked at the office and this was the first time that they hung out. He admitted to me that he was so drunk that night, he didn't even remember leaving the bar and only has pieces of most of the hotel room. He cannot fully account for all of his behaviors because he had been drinking all night. He doesn't think he was flirting, but admits that he was feeling good about himself. He thought that he was safe because everybody in the group was married, including her. The next morning, they ran into each other at the pool and both said last night was crazy and we were drunk, lets never mention it again. He came home crazed and upset and said that he found the whole thing disgusting and it made his skin crawl to think about it.

I feel that he did the right thing by stopping it right away and leaving, but some things still bother me. He cannot account for some portions of the night due to alcohol. He does not want to ask any coworkers about his behavior that he cannot account for or hers and raise suspicions or make a work issue of it. Why was he left in that hotel room with her? did the last guy who left figure that my husband wanted to be there? Did she say, just leave him? I told him that he obviously did something to make her think that he wanted it. Why was he with her until 5am, obviously he enjoyed her company all night long, otherwise he would have left. What if he would have had another drink and not stopped? He admits that all this was stupid and his mistake and he is so sorry and loves me so much and could not live with this secret.

Is this cheating? I welcome all advice. Hanging out with a group of people and then choosing to still hang out with her and others until 5am. Being in her hotel room until dawn. Married men don't behave like this and I was the last thing on his mind all night. What do you think? Is he a good guy or should I be furious?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

You know, there's a saying around here that 'just a kiss' is cheatspeak for 'we had intercourse'. 

Unless someone had a camera phone on in that hotel room or something, you will never have any way of being absolutely sure of what happened.

You had a reason to think something was going on before he left. Listen to your gut. Something was going on even before this trip. What was it?

You absolutely should be furious at him. There is no way he ever should have allowed himself to get into that position.

My advice is to
1) get STD tested, and
2) schedule a polygraph

Your husband also has to work somewhere other than where this woman works if you remain with him. He must NEVER see her again. He also had better not be going on any more business OR pleasure trips without you.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I suspect you're getting a version of the truth. How much of it, I can't say. How mad you should be... Depends on what the truth is. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

I don't know your husband. Perhaps he's being completely honest.

However, I would suspect that he had a reason for confessing what he did; and that reason is that there were too many co-workers that saw them together, and he feared you might hear about it.

Was it just a kiss? I would also suspect not.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Cheating is essentially defined as covertly doing something with another person that is normally reserved for doing exclusively with your spouse!

"Trickle-truthing" here seems to be the preeminent order of the day! Given that, and using the legal axiom of "probable cause," if I were in your shoes, I'd be greatly concerned!

After all, she's not exactly transferring into his work locale to try and distance herself from him, now is she? 

N'est-ce pas?*


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

I'd say that, if he's telling the truth, he wasn't cheating. Having said that, his story doesn't quite pass the sniff test. It is possible that he's telling the truth, though. Either way, you have plenty of cause for reasonable doubt.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> I'd say that, if he's telling the truth, he wasn't cheating.


I agree. If he IS telling the WHOLE truth, then he didn't cheat.

Unfortunately, the VAST majority of cheaters do not tell the whole truth from the beginning. It's unfortunate that once in a while one does, but they are tarred with the same brush as the ones who don't, so they have to prove themselves. but that's the way it goes.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Were it me, I'd approach the other woman in the parking lot and tell her your husband confessed to them having sex and see what she says. If she more or less confirms it, you know your husband has lied to you. If she insists it was only a kiss, ask who kissed who- now, I'd expect her to lie and say he did but still maybe the way she says it lets you know if she is being truthful. 

Aside from that, I find the idea of going out with a mixed group drinking without you so highly inappropriate, I can hardly believe his work did this. The whole story sounds fishy to me.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

She said they were on a work sponsored vacation. My work does this. They reward selected employees by sending them to a resort for 4 days and 3 nights all expenses paid. There is much fraternizing and mixed company drinking and hanging out. It is quite disgusting and upsetting to several or us, but then again it is the way they want it as all the higher ups do it.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

If nothing else, OP's husband allowed himself to be placed into a compromising situation. Or, depending on how you see it, he walked headlong into it. In either case, that's not OK, and it would seem that his boundaries need to be pulled back a bit. *OP, has he come to this realization? And hopefully on his own...?!?*

By the way... OP, the poll options don't quite fit this situation. Or, rather, there should probably be more options.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> She said they were on a work sponsored vacation. My work does this. They reward selected employees by sending them to a resort for 4 days and 3 nights all expenses paid. There is much fraternizing and mixed company drinking and hanging out. It is quite disgusting and upsetting to several or us, but then again it is the way they want it as all the higher ups do it.


I must live in a cave or something as I have never heard of this.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> I agree. If he IS telling the WHOLE truth, then he didn't cheat.
> 
> *Unfortunately, the VAST majority of cheaters do not tell the whole truth from the beginning. It's unfortunate that once in a while one does, but they are tarred with the same brush as the ones who don't, so they have to prove themselves. but that's the way it goes.*


True but, had he actually cheated, why confess anything at all? Confessing something like "she kissed me, I pulled away" with no prompting at all when more than that happened doesn't quite make sense either. But still, odder things have certainly happened.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> She said they were on a work sponsored vacation. My work does this. They reward selected employees by sending them to a resort for 4 days and 3 nights all expenses paid. There is much fraternizing and mixed company drinking and hanging out. It is quite disgusting and upsetting to several or us, but then again it is the way they want it as all the higher ups do it.





thatbpguy said:


> I must live in a cave or something as I have never heard of this.


Happens quite a bit in "sales" type positions I do believe.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

I find it hard to believe that if he drank that much to have black out periods, how did he wake so easily on the door closing when the last one left, did they slam it shut? 

Why did he venture out onto the patio, if he was left alone with her and felt it inappropriate? 

Why was she crying and so quickly after the last one left? 

Did she just start crying immediately after the last one left or did something cause it (such as regret from something that she might have just done with the group)? 

Maybe there were more involved with this than you know about?

Sorry, but my "Dear Penthouse forums", mind is kicking in here.


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## botti (May 28, 2014)

In my opinion, trust is a choice. You choose to trust someone; if you trust your husband, then you have to choose to believe his story and place the fault on the out of control co-worker. 

If you don't trust your husband, then you should let him know that you don't believe he's telling you the whole truth. Request total transparency.

At my place of employment, there would have been an HR investigation and likely the woman would have been fired for her behavior. Ask him to report her to HR and if he won't, that's another strike against trust and you have to decide if that's enough to completely kill your faith in your husband.

I will also add that while it's good to trust your instincts, also recognize that a sudden moment of premonition about a man you've NEVER doubted before is pretty odd and I personally would not base a life choice on it. 

Mistakes do happen. I can't account for every minute of my day yesterday and I was not drunk. If my husband wanted to come swinging at me, there are hours of time I can't account for except "I was at work in a completely empty office building, then went home to an empty house. Promise." 

Either you trust him, or you don't. You're the only one who can make that call. 

As for your original yes/no question: no, what he did, if it's what really happened, is not cheating. It's an attack.


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## botti (May 28, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Happens quite a bit in "sales" type positions I do believe.


Yes. My brokerage company often runs incentive trips to reach sales goals. Normally, the spouse is included.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

IF he is telling the truth, drinking to the point of blacking out he has to quit or get help.
He has to be transparent with everything phone, computer ect.
Next time there is one of these trips you go with or he doesn't go period!
Go to his workplace if you can with the kid surprise him and take him to lunch.
I say this so you can find out who this coworker is and heck I would introduce myself (if she doesn't squirm away)
It's called mate guarding and shows your h you are serious.


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## waylan (Apr 23, 2014)

Quick thoughts:

If he is telling the truth, then no he didn't cheat. The main issue is to determine whether he told the "full" truth versus a subset of the story. I think since he was pro-active in telling you what happened and is upset about it as well that he is probably telling the truth.

If you want to be 100% certain.. Go into Sherlock Holmes mode. Check his texts, get a VAR, etc. Hopefully this activity confirms his honesty and allows you to sleep well.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Oh you darn well should have ALL his passwords email, phone whatever else do NOT let him balk on any of these and if he does well...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

botti said:


> Yes. My brokerage company often runs incentive trips to reach sales goals. *Normally, the spouse is included.*


This is an _excellent_ point. Hopefully this turned out to be a case where OP simply couldn't attend due her own job, juggling the kids' schedules, etc, and she wasn't consciously not invited to attend by her husband.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

tom67 said:


> IF he is telling the truth, drinking to the point of blacking out he has to quit or get help.
> He has to be transparent with everything phone, computer ect.
> Next time there is one of these trips you go with or he doesn't go period!
> Go to his workplace if you can with the kid surprise him and take him to lunch.
> ...


:iagree:


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

tom67 said:


> *Oh you darn well should have ALL of his passwords, email, phones, and whatever else...*


*Just as he should have yours, and upon demand!*


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> True but, had he actually cheated, why confess anything at all? Confessing something like "she kissed me, I pulled away" with no prompting at all when more than that happened doesn't quite make sense either. But still, odder things have certainly happened.


You're right, it's not completely logical, but on the other hand cheaters don't always think on their feet. Some may spout out unsolicited trickle truth; either in fear of someone ratting them out (maybe even the OW) or to reconcile their guilt for doing worse.

But whatever the reason he confessed to this "almost cheating"; I would be very suspicious of the motivation.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

badmemory said:


> You're right, it's not completely logical, but on the other hand cheaters don't always think on their feet. Some may spout out unsolicited trickle truth; either in fear of someone ratting them out (maybe even the OW) or to reconcile their guilt for doing worse.
> 
> But whatever the reason he confessed to this "almost cheating"; I would be very suspicious of the motivation.


For sure. Like I said, odder things have happened, and she definitely has plenty to be suspicious about.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

OP if he has been acting "off" or distant please purchase a voice activated recorder, a good sony,or olympus, and stick it in his car.
I hope really hope you don't get anything unusual or worse.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Either he's being honest, or he's not. If he's being honest, the situation he describes tells me two things:

1) This woman sexually assaulted him.
2) Alcohol is a problem for him.

If he's not being honest, there are far more possibilities, and they all include something more serious having happened.

Some things to watch for are his reactions towards moving forwards. Does he intend to report her to their employer for sexual harassment? Does he intend to cut down on drinking, or stop attending these functions or bring you with him? Is he trying to sweep it under the rug and have you forget about it, or does he display ongoing guilt and remorse?

The next step would be to support him in reporting to the employer that this woman assaulted him at the function. His reaction may help her figure out if he was honest or not. He'll probably be reluctant in either case, but the nature of the reluctance is important. If he doesn't want to embarrass this other woman or hurt her career, then he may have feelings for her. If he doesn't want to embarrass himself by coming forward as a male victim of sexual assault, then there could be some sincerity. 

Let the results of the investigation determine if he's telling the truth or not.

If it's true, this woman needs to learn that her actions were criminal despite her gender, and if he's lying, that will be exposed.


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## thesimplethings (Jun 6, 2014)

Thanks for everybody for your responses and opinions =).
Just to follow up with some additional info... When my husband told me what happened, he said that he is not going to go on anymore of these trips again, unless it is mandatory. He admits that his stupidity brought this on and has caused many problems with our marriage. He swears that there is nothing else that happened and that he is not withholding any information. He says that he never wanted this to happen and never realized that his behavior was enticing a coworker to kiss him, He thought that she was safe to hang around because she was also married. He told me that he was so creeped out by this, that he deleted her from his phone. A few days after he got back and told me this story, I asked what exactly was sent over text/email/phone and he came up wit a picture that he had deleted. A picture of him, her, and a third male coworker all on the hotel couch taking a selfie. The male coworker was sitting on the couch, her head was in his lap and my husband was leaning over the couch (and her but not laying on top of her. still enough to make my stomach turn) to get into the shot. Had I never asked, he would have never shown me this, and he says that he forgot about it and didn't think that he was withholding information. So, the picture makes me feel like nobody was concerned with boundaries that night I am furious about the situation but admit that this is a gray area of cheating and am interested in all of your opinions. I believe that everybody's behavior was inappropriate and constantly wonder if any more happened.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Didn't see an option for "Is he lying" so didn't vote. 

My guess is you got a very sanitized version because he's afraid someone saw something that might get back to you. It's not an uncommon ploy - seen it often. 

Seen as kinda insurance.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> I'd say that, if he's telling the truth, he wasn't cheating. Having said that, his story doesn't quite pass the sniff test. It is possible that he's telling the truth, though. Either way, you have plenty of cause for reasonable doubt.


I agree with Gus. The story as presented doesn't seem to be cheating. Very poor judgement. 

Never drink that much at a work event (reward trip or otherwise).

Never go to a opposites sex coworkers hotel room. (Drunk or otherwise).

Never leave yourself in a position to be ALONE in said hotel room.

I'm glad he fessed up on the kiss. I too though would be worried others saw something untoward that he didn't want getting back to you. I think a polygraph test would be the only way you find out what happened.

Any texts/emails/calls/FB Messages between them in the past that you can find?

You can read my thread for a similar situation I was in. Wife was away for work and went out alone with a male coworker, then started texting each other later that night. She didn't confess, I had to confront so you have that going for you at least. Everything seemed to work out in the end but there is always some doubt and what ifs there unfortunately.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

walkonmars said:


> Didn't see an option for "Is he lying" so didn't vote.
> 
> My guess is you got a very sanitized version because he's afraid someone saw something that might get back to you. It's not an uncommon ploy - seen it often.
> 
> Seen as kinda insurance.


:iagree:

Many confessions by cheaters are a result of imminent discovery by the BS. In this case, perhaps someone DOES have a picture on their phone that they were going to show the wife. Or maybe the woman has filed a suit at work herself. Or maybe a co worker decided the wife needed to know. There are many possibilities. Also, when they confess, they only usually confess to the very LEAST they think they need to. There's almost always more to the story than what they've confessed to.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm curious... Did you go through your husband's text messages and emails (work and personal) after his confession? Of course, he had an opportunity to cleanse them first, but it's a start. I wonder if they had any kind of flirting going on before "the kiss"... You could also compare his cell phone records for that day to what you see on his phone, to see if he deleted anything. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

thesimplethings said:


> A few days after he got back and told me this story, I asked what exactly was sent over text/email/phone and he came up wit a picture that he had deleted. A picture of him, her, and a third male coworker all on the hotel couch taking a selfie. The male coworker was sitting on the couch, her head was in his lap and my husband was leaning over the couch (and her but not laying on top of her. still enough to make my stomach turn) to get into the shot. Had I never asked, he would have never shown me this, and he says that he forgot about it and didn't think that he was withholding information. So, the picture makes me feel like nobody was concerned with boundaries that night I am furious about the situation but admit that this is a gray area of cheating and am interested in all of your opinions. I believe that everybody's behavior was inappropriate and constantly wonder if any more happened.


This is a perfect example of how quickly boundaries can start to erode (even if only somewhat innocently) once the alcohol starts flowing.

You mentioned earlier that he'd drank quite a bit that evening, and wound up passing out/blacking out, possibly more than once. Does he do this often?


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

I wonder if OP's husband works for the same company as cjl's wife?

On the face of it, not cheating but extremely poor (and trust-damaging) judgment. NO drinking in hotel rooms, please.

OP, if your gut tells you there is more to the story then keep digging.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Philat said:


> I wonder if OP's husband works for the same company as cjl's wife?
> 
> On the face of it, not cheating but extremely poor (and trust-damaging) judgment. NO drinking in hotel rooms, please.
> 
> OP, if your gut tells you there is more to the story then keep digging.


:iagree:

Trust your gut. Try to spend some time alone w/ his phone if possible. Is he guarding it at all? New passcode? Sleeping with it? Taking it to the bathroom? Does it look like it has been "wiped" recently?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Philat said:


> I wonder if OP's husband works for the same company as cjl's wife?
> 
> On the face of it, not cheating but extremely poor (and trust-damaging) judgment. NO drinking in hotel rooms, please.
> 
> OP, if your gut tells you there is more to the story then keep digging.


You know him best so...
If he was blacked out drunk like Nicholas Cage in the movie "Leaving Las Vegas" you tell him you are taking him to an in patient rehab center asap.
Then see and listen to his response.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Do you think hes lying OP? What does your gut tell you?


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

I put myself in a similar situation at a sales conference in the states once. Though I didn't go so far as a kiss, that (and more) was where it was headed. The rest of the story as to how I got there was very close to the same as your husband's. And yes, I was that pasted. 

Like your husband, it was knowing that I was married and that the situation I was in was incredibly inappropriate, both personally and professionally, that pushed me out her door and kept me walking away.

I told my wife about it when I got back and we used it as a talking point to discuss boundaries. She believed me that it was an isolated event and circumstance driven but only because I was utterly honest to the best of my ability in recounting my disjointed memory. More importantly, it was because I had given her no flags ahead of the trip (or after) to point to.

The fact that your gut went off before he left is really worrisome. In my eyes, it's the most accurate lie detector there is. I agree with the other posters here. You need to monitor him closely to verify.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

From the information available it is hard to say what it is. I think corporate rewards and bonding programs are a joke. Just having fun spending someone else's money in an atmosphere of license. I say that having attended a few and representing companies that sponsor them. Also as the husband of a wife who screwed up pretty badly at one I did not attend. It's a crappy place to be where you want to believe your spouse but you just can't know much more than what your spouse is telling and your spouse is controlling the narrative. Drives some people crazy. My own view is that married people do not innocently put themselves in these situations.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Why contact the OW's husband and see what she told him.


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## Jambri (Mar 19, 2013)

I think you're being way too paranoid. If he really cheated then why would he say anything at all to you? Why don't you put a little TRUST in the man you married and accept that he put a stop to what could have been a disaster? If you don't trust him or believe in what he says I don't see where you have much of a marriage


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

Harken Banks said:


> My own view is that married people do not innocently put themselves in these situations.


Good point.

In my situation: Stupid - yes. Innocent - no.

I'd love to be able to say with absolute conviction that it was my undying love for my wife that shored up my morality. 

Truth is I'm pretty sure it was fear of having to live with the guilt and consequences that pulled me away from the edge of a "Lover's Leap". In retrospect, given how drunk I was, I'm actually surprised it won out over the lust that left me in her room in the first place.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

I do not see any reason he would rush home to tell you about this if he was cheating on you. Nobody else was in the room, so nobody is going to say "she kissed him". The most that will get back to you is "boy was he ****-faced". I would tend to believe him unless some other items pop up


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

Jambri said:


> I think you're being way too paranoid. If he really cheated then why would he say anything at all to you? Why don't you put a little TRUST in the man you married and accept that he put a stop to what could have been a disaster? If you don't trust him or believe in what he says I don't see where you have much of a marriage


To each their own, I suppose. I think OP is quite appropriately concerned and upset that her husband was away on a junket and drunk in another woman's room at 5am when she kissed him even if that is all there is to the story. Some I suppose would not be bothered or would rather not hear about it. When I was in the early phases of this and not at all suspecting what I later learned I had a good counselor who did not lead or get ahead of me. She did tell me about another couple she counseled where the wife got angry that her husband confessed to some of his fooling around in session. Her view as relayed to me was "That's his business. Why do I have to hear about it?"


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> I do not see any reason he would rush home to tell you about this if he was cheating on you. Nobody else was in the room, so nobody is going to say "she kissed him". The most that will get back to you is "boy was he ****-faced". I would tend to believe him unless some other items pop up


Believe him or not, I would ask WTF were you doing drunk in this woman's room at 5 in the morning with a wife and 2 kids at home? OP should not ask herself twice whether she should be upset. 

Also, as a WS in this forum once privately and quite presciently confided to me, "To be honest, it is a small chance that [she/he] has told you everything."


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Jambri said:


> I think you're being way too paranoid. If he really cheated then why would he say anything at all to you? Why don't you put a little TRUST in the man you married and accept that he put a stop to what could have been a disaster? If you don't trust him or believe in what he says I don't see where you have much of a marriage


He might have had to say something as he was possibly seen leaving her room at 5 am and needed CYA. He describes this version of events so if someone says they saw him leaving her room (namely the friends he supposedly called and walked back with), she is aware of things and "yes, he told me about it." so the conversation is dropped at that point.

It could be one of those cya moments just as easily as it could have been the truth. Only he and the co-worker really know (and possibly others there that night).


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

I agree that "it was just a kiss" really means "we banged each other sick"...but ONLY when the accused is CAUGHT..and thats where trickle truth comes in,,,they will NOT tell you more than they think you already know

but he CAME to you and admitted it...without any accusations...so I lean more towards his side...maybe he did kiss her back, maybe even groped and then wised up and split...but if they got naked, screwed, oral, normally guilt wouldnt make them admit this, know what I mean?


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

You had a bad feeling he was going to cheat. Your gut was telling you something and you must work out why. Did you feel he was losing interest in you for example?

He may well have told you because he was afraid you would hear about it. Colleagues gossip and so do their wives. 

He's using the 'I can't remember' a bit too freely - classic BS behaviour. 

He 'can't remember' if he was flirting. Yet he remembers 'feeling good' about himself. And who was he 'feeling good' in front of. The other men? Hardly. Men feel like that when they are impressing women. What I get from all that is he was flirting with her.

He doesn't want to ask his colleagues about the night. Usually colleagues joke about nights like that and laugh at how silly and drunk they all were. But in his case, whatever he did, he's very embarrassed. Acting inappropriately with a female staff member such as flirting with her would explain that one. 

So he was the last one there, went out to the balcony and the woman just right out of the blue kissed him? Would she have done that if it was another colleague who was left there? Maybe. Still it seems a bit odd and I think there would have been stuff between them that led up to it such as flirting. 

What was she crying about? Have you asked him? 

He says he was passed out on the couch. How then did he know WHICH of his colleagues was the last to leave because there was a few of them there. He said he just heard the door bang. Yet he knew to ring that particular colleague. Also it seems he came out of his 'blacked out' state unusually quickly. 

He was away from you at a party for just one night and this is the result? And you were worried in advance?

There's something about his story that doesn't ring true to me. 

And BTW, she couldn't possibly have kissed him without him allowing her to do so. Just doesn't happen - sorry. 

And yes he did cheat. There is no excuse for a man allowing another woman to kiss him. I think they were just a bit more cosy than he is saying for them to have kissed. 

Tell him you are going to arrange to have lunch with her because you want her side of the story. That should jolt him and he will be taken off guard. See how he reacts. That will tell you a lot. 

And do check his texts and call/text history.


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