# Getting vasectomy at 29



## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

I've been considering this.

However, I've never had children and probably most people know that the whole "people should have total control over their bodies" thing is ignored in a situation like this.

How would you find a doctor that would perform one at this age and with no children?

Of course, patient's wishes and free will are ignored in this situation.

I've read that you should lie on the papers and say something like that I have 3 kids by three different women because they don't check these kinds of things.

How do you convince a doctor to do one in my situation?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I had no idea a doctor would refuse this? This doesn't make any sense at all? have you actually seen a doc and asked and been turned down?


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I had no idea a doctor would refuse this? This doesn't make any sense at all? have you actually seen a doc and asked and been turned down?


In the US some doctors and insurance plans can deny this procedure. Many doctors on both females and males will not do it due to age and the fact that you have no children. 

OP maybe start by asking your regular dr for a referral.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jd08 (Nov 20, 2012)

Why would it take convincing. If you want one and can pay for it you'll find a doc who will do it. Just as long as you sign the informed consent forms acknowledging that you understand the procedure and the fact that it will make you sterile the dr is covered.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

mablenc said:


> In the US some doctors and insurance plans can deny this procedure. Many doctors on both females and males will not do it due to age and the fact that you have no children.
> 
> OP maybe start by asking your regular dr for a referral.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why does this make me so angry? How about the fact that it is a highly reliable form of BC, not as invasive as a tubal, reversible, and no hormones involved. This is just sexism! This is so wrong!


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## FrenchFry (Oct 10, 2011)

Women get it too Anon Pink. Doctors are really hesitant to perform tubals or vasectomies on young people with no kids...mostly out of fear of being sued.

<tried to get her tubes tied @ 20. Noooope.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Why does this make me so angry? How about the fact that it is a highly reliable form of BC, not as invasive as a tubal, reversible, and no hormones involved. This is just sexism! This is so wrong!


Yeah it's an age issue, they are trying to minimize the need for reversals which may not work. I had a coworker with two kids one was severely ill and handicapped and she was caring for him 24/7 and will always need to, she was 34 and her dr refused to give her a hystorectomy that she really needed do to her health. Even in her case they refused to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I had no idea a doctor would refuse this? This doesn't make any sense at all? have you actually seen a doc and asked and been turned down?


It happens. I heard about a guy in Chicago who got a vasectomy when he was about 18 or 19. He had to go through 8 doctors before he found one who would actually perform the procedure.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

I was told I had to be 24, or else have 4 kids. I cried and begged and pleaded and threatened.....

Nothin doin. I pointed out I was under age and didn't have a job or a place to live.....

I was given directions to the nearest food stamp office. Nice of them. I said you mean to tell me I can't decide if I can't care for 1, then I should go ahead and have 3 more, so I can have my tubes tied, because I can't afford kids, and didn't want to be on aid, so I should get on aid, have 3 more, then and only then will I be "responsible" or "mature" enough to make life altering decisions....

The answer I revived was "right, you got it...".


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

ntamph said:


> I've been considering this.
> 
> However, I've never had children and probably most people know that the whole "people should have total control over their bodies" thing is ignored in a situation like this.
> 
> ...


If you go ahead and find a Dr who would do it, make sure you deep-freeze some of your sperm, so that when you get older and suddenly want kids, that option would still be available to you.


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## Forever Me (May 20, 2013)

My husband had one 5 years ago, he was 29 at the time. We have no children. The doctor did want to talk to us both, as a married couple, to make sure that it was a joint decision. Being that I was 24, and he was 29, the doctor asked a couple questions, ensured we didn't want children, and within 10 minutes we were scheduling the vasectomy. He just wanted to let us know that vasectomies are known as permanent birth control. Should we decide later on that we want to have children, it is not something that can be 100% easily reversed guaranteed. He also pointed out that it is not a preventative against disease, just pregnancy.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

At 26 and with three kids I was given an appointment date. Just say you have kids.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

john_lord_b3 said:


> If you go ahead and find a Dr who would do it, make sure you deep-freeze some of your sperm, so that when you get older and suddenly want kids, that option would still be available to you.


That is exactly what I did.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Are you married? If so, I take it your wife doesn't want children either? If you aren't married, what if you later meet someone who does want children? Just keep in mind that your decision could have an impact on potential relationships you could have in the future. I'm sure you've already thought about this.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

ntamph said:


> I've been considering this.
> 
> However, I've never had children and probably most people know that the whole "people should have total control over their bodies" thing is ignored in a situation like this.
> 
> ...



Irregardless of whether you signed a consent form. The Drs. risk of getting sued later is too high.


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

momtwo4 said:


> Are you married? If so, I take it your wife doesn't want children either? If you aren't married, what if you later meet someone who does want children? Just keep in mind that your decision could have an impact on potential relationships you could have in the future. I'm sure you've already thought about this.


I'm not 100% sure yet. But if I did become 100% sure, then I absolutely would not care about what women thought. It's my body.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

My mom had to fight to get her tubes tied at 28 even after having kids.They didn't want to pay for my hysterectomy in my mid twenties even though it was a life/death necessity.

We don't get to decide what happens to our bodies.Drs and insurance are the ones who get to decide.

Good luck.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

ntamph...I understand it is nonna my biznezz...but can't you wait until you meet a woman you love and who loves you before you make this decision? If you meet the girl of your dreams, you might find you are going to want her to have your babies. That is a normal biological reaction to meeting the girl of your dreams.

OTOH, I know many childless people (by choice) who are more than happy with that choice.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Most usually you can go to a Urologist and have this done for $500 or less(no insurance). At least it only cost me about $400 some 10+ years ago. Most couldn't care less beyond payment.

That said... 

I was very happy with mine. Very simple and relatively painless process. Enjoyed a long run of care free fun. 

Fast-forward. I divorced after 16 years. My new wife and new life has caused me to re-think my previous decision about not wanting more children. My new wife would very much like a child with me. She would very much like to experience a pregnancy as part of that. We are now in the IVF process. We have had 2 failed IUIs and a recent(last month) failed IVF. Though it was very close. In a few months we'll be doing a FET(Frozen Embryo Transfer) with a remaining embryo we have in storage and are hopeful that the results will be better, for a number of reasons. 

So here's the thing. This process is very expensive. Look up the cost of IUI, IVF and Vasovasectomies. Beyond that is the mental and spiritual toll, not to mention the physical toll on my wife. Because of my vasectomy 10+ years ago she had to inject her stomach 30+ times with Luepron and Gonal injections. About a dozen blood draws and UltraSounds. I remember at sperm retrieval the doc hit a pocket of material with no motility. My heart sank. On the second attempt it was empty. My heart shattered. It wasn't until the third attempt that we were able to get good, useable sperm. 

My point is to think this through very thoroughly. Options exist later in life, but they are a much more difficult path to travel and may not yield the results you would desire.


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

It's just that I've become paranoid about birth control and pregnancy recently. I'm 30ish and so are my friends mostly and this is when women start getting baby fever. I don't want an accident to happen (or not an accident but a planned missing a pill or something if you know what I mean).

Is this a bad reason to get a vasectomy? I'm super serious about condoms and haven't gotten anyone pregnant (that I know of, lol).


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

If you aren't POSITIVE that you *never* want kids, then absolutely don't have a V at this time.


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> If you aren't POSITIVE that you *never* want kids, then absolutely don't have a V at this time.


I know. But two of my friends' girlfriends have had "accidents" since the beginning of last month.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

That would terrify me too, if I were you. But do you have a gf right now who you are sexually active with? If you do, you need to discuss this with her (like, reinforce the fact that you expect no surprise pregnancies). If you don't then definitely don't make that choice to have a V now.


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> That would terrify me too, if I were you. But do you have a gf right now who you are sexually active with? If you do, you need to discuss this with her (like, reinforce the fact that you expect no surprise pregnancies). If you don't then definitely don't make that choice to have a V now.


Not seeing anyone now, no.

I think that I should emphasize in casual conversation with a future SO that I don't believe in getting married just because an accidental pregnancy occurred. That I would not get married and would leave if the relationship took a turn for the worse.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

ntamph said:


> I'm not 100% sure yet. But if I did become 100% sure, then I absolutely would not care about what women thought. It's my body.


True, it is your body. But if you're in a relationship with a woman who wants kids, it could be a deal breaker. Obviously, this would not bother you since you wouldn't want to be with someone who wants kids, anyway, right? Just keep in mind that many single late twenties/early thirties women DO want children some day. 

In a marriage or long-term relationship, decisions that you make about your body also have an impact on your partner's body as well. This is why many clinics require a spouses consent before a vasectomy.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

ntamph said:


> It's just that I've become paranoid about birth control and pregnancy recently. I'm 30ish and so are my friends mostly and this is when women start getting baby fever. I don't want an accident to happen (or not an accident but a planned missing a pill or something if you know what I mean).
> 
> Is this a bad reason to get a vasectomy? I'm super serious about condoms and haven't gotten anyone pregnant (that I know of, lol).


I don't blame you for being afraid of this!! Don't ever have sex without a condom (even if your SO says she is on the pill)!! If you use them carefully and choose the ones with spermicide, they work. 

But this is NOT a good enough reason to have a vasectomy.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

momtwo4 said:


> In a marriage or long-term relationship, decisions that you make about your body also have an impact on your partner's body as well. This is why many clinics require a spouses consent before a vasectomy.


Then why don't abortion clinics require spousal consent before an abortion? After all, for some men that sure would be a deal breaker.

You won't be able to come up with an answer other than its a hypocritical double standard.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> Then why don't abortion clinics require spousal consent before an abortion? After all, for some men that sure would be a deal breaker.
> 
> You won't be able to come up with an answer other than its a hypocritical double standard.


I don't know. I agree that some men would find it a deal-breaker. I wasn't trying to argue that it is "fair" or even "right." I was just trying to point out to the OP that having a vasectomy could have a significant impact on future relationships (whether or not that is right, fair, whatever).


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

My partner is 28 and just had his done a few months ago. If you do start this process, I would be cautious about lying about having kids on the forms, because when my partner put down his son's information, he had to bring in a copy of the boy's birth certificate as proof.
I'm not sure if that's just a state requirement or what, but figured I'd mention that.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

I was in my mid 30's when I had mine and the only thing my doctor asked was if we were sure we were done having kids. I don't know if I was 5 years younger if it would have changed anything.

Vasectomies are big business now, in and out in under 20 minutes and the doc charges a couple grand. I would be surprised if you cannot find a doctor somewhere who will do this. I think what they are looking for is that you are mature. If they ask why just tell them you don't want kids have thought about it for years, etc.

If this is an insurance problem then talk to the doctor about that. Doctors regularly agree on payment from the insurance for much less than they bill. So even if they bill $5,000 for the procedure they might accept $1200 plus your co-insurance. If you tell them you can pay in cash the $1,200 then he will be likely to agree to that. Even if you had to pay out of pocket it would be much cheaper than child support.


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