# is is ok to date your ex husbands current brother in law?



## simpson (Feb 1, 2010)

Without all the gory details I just want to know someones opinion on this? If you have specific questions just let me know.
The exact situation is that my husbands ex-wife is dating my brother.
Thank you!


----------



## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Honestly its between her and your brother. If they can deal with the 'weirdness' vibes from the family, then its up to them to maintain the relationship. I don't think anyone should really get a vote in who can date whom other than the 2 people (and their under 18 kids if there are any). Just my 2 cents.


----------



## simpson (Feb 1, 2010)

Thank you for your reply...would you reconsider your 2 cents if I told you that both parties were told in advance that it would make the ex husband very uncomfortable. My brother and I are very close and he knew in advance that we would not be happy about it and that family gatherings would be more than uncomfortable. His relationship with my husbands ex wife has already put a huge gap between he and I. My husband and I both feel betrayed in that they persude this anyway and then expect us to welcome them into our lives like we are all good buddies or something. Also, both of them have past issues that we "know" have a high potential for disaster. We don't wnat either of our children to end up witnessing a alcohol induced argument or something like that. Just wondering if that makes any difference in your thoughts?


----------



## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I guess it depends on how well you and your husband get along with his ex. Ultimately, you have no say, but they can't really expect you and your husband to just instantly get along with someone you don't like. I feel for ya!


----------



## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Unfortunately no it doesn't change anything. You still don't get a vote in who they date. and honestly they more of an issue you make it the more likely they are to cling to each other just to prove you wrong.

What you do have control over is telling them that as much as you love your brother, you just can't be near him when he is with her. It is for your marital health. Same with your kids. You can even tell the rest of your family that you won't be at functions when they are. You do what's best for you and yours and let him deal with his life - he's not listening and beating your head against a brick wall ony gives you a headache.


----------



## simpson (Feb 1, 2010)

Thank you TNgirl232, makes sense.


----------



## AMOR (Feb 7, 2010)

the question you should be asking yourself is why would it make your husband uncomfortable..... They are divorced.... she is his EX wife so i don't see the problem..... As far as if him and his ex wife don't get along then they can just be cordial.... hello, goodbye... whenever they are around eachother


----------

