# Removed for oversharing



## ReadyandNot

Sorry guys. I overshared during a weak moment. I'm going to figure this out and will be ok.


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## Diana7

It sounds like a very horrible and lonely situation. He is an abuser of course but it does surprise me that the teenagers want you to stay with a man who abuses their mum.


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## ReadyandNot

Diana7 said:


> It sounds like a very horrible and lonely situation. He is an abuser of course but it does surprise me that the teenagers want you to stay with a man who abuses their mum.


Thank you. Now that you mention it, I'm thinking the kids don't know anything different. Which makes it even worse and more urgent for them to experience a relaxed and happy home.

I started looking for a home around mid 2020. It was slim pickings and overpriced with heavy competition to say the least. I keep my eye on rental and selling listings. It's only gotten worse, even today. I feel stuck until the housing market opens up too.


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## TJW

ReadyandNot said:


> pushes me around and things like that. It has gotten pretty bad


It is going to get worse. Get out now, take your children.

Buy yourself a "burner" phone. Use it to call:
Hotline

Let them help you strategize your exit.


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## Luckylucky

Interesting, there’s a poster currently telling us his wife does no grocery shopping or anything with the kids, and that she has no friends. 😕

But back to you, this is no good, and yes your kids are likely too far gone and won’t support you, and you’ll likely be blamed for his demise. And let’s face it… that’s your biggest obstacle. They may want to stay with him too, you’re in a real lose lose situation but you do know this, don’t you. Have they also been isolated in a similar manner? From being able to see other friends with regular families?

By business meetings, I assume you are working again?


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## Luckylucky

Something that I noticed, there’s a conflict between the controlling environment you describe, but being able to confidently and comfortable invite a male friend around? If most women are not even able to have female friends or close family, how were you fear responses when you were able to take such large steps to have the male friend come over?


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## ReadyandNot

TJW said:


> It is going to get worse. Get out now, take your children.
> 
> Buy yourself a "burner" phone. Use it to call:
> Hotline
> 
> Let them help you strategize your exit.


Thank you for the extra nudge and reality check.
I tried those hotlines a while back, but they wanted me to come in to register but before that i needed to answer an unscheduled call for a phone interview, which of course i could never do. I need to schedule so i can drive down the street. They didn't understand when i explained so we never could get anywhere to help me. I'm on my own with it and need to figure this out.


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## ReadyandNot

Luckylucky said:


> Something that I noticed, there’s a conflict between the controlling environment you describe, but being able to confidently and comfortable invite a male friend around? If most women are not even able to have female friends or close family, how were you fear responses when you were able to take such large steps to have the male friend come over?


My old childhood friend is well known in my home, like a family friend and the kids know him too. But my husband still hates the idea of him anyway. He thinks my firend likes me, but that's not true of course.


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## ReadyandNot

Luckylucky said:


> Interesting, there’s a poster currently telling us his wife does no grocery shopping or anything with the kids, and that she has no friends. 😕
> 
> But back to you, this is no good, and yes your kids are likely too far gone and won’t support you, and you’ll likely be blamed for his demise. And let’s face it… that’s your biggest obstacle. They may want to stay with him too, you’re in a real lose lose situation but you do know this, don’t you. Have they also been isolated in a similar manner? From being able to see other friends with regular families?
> 
> By business meetings, I assume you are working again?


Yes, thank you, I have realized those things. This could be the main reason why I'm struggling to make the moves I need to make. Have you gone though this too?


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