# husbands hobby



## boxergal (Mar 19, 2011)

I have been married to my husband for almost 13 years, and together for over 17
years. We were teenager when we started dating. I have NEVER considered
divorce until now. We have always done things together, be it camping, ATVing,
movies, parties...etc. We also have a 5 year old daughter who comes into the
picture now. We love her dearly...and I do still love my husband. BUT....I can
not even look at him lately. About 4 years ago he started go kart racing, which
at the time was no big deal. NOW..it is a problem, he is now racing something
that is called a slingshot. Which in turn takes money to do (which we dont
have). He is going to race on Saturdays, and is not happy that I want to work
on Saturdays (we need the money!). We have just found out our daughter has
asthma, and has cost us a few buck here and there. I had to put all of it on
credit cards (which I do NOT like to do)...he feels, we will always have credit
debt and it won't hurt!!! UUUGGGHHH. SOOO...he did some plowing this winter and
made some money that has helped us get by this winter. Well..one of the checks
for over $700...he took and spent on this slingshot (which BTW...it is not even
his!!) I am so angry, he knows I do not like the racing...I feel it is not a
family thing to do together, now that our daughter is older. We could use that
money that to pay off bills, or even to just go out as a family...camping,
bowling whatever. All he does is work on this slingshot out in the garage...it
even keeps him from getting things done around the house..I feel second to
it!!!! We even still have Christmas lights up on the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please..has anyone been through this? As I wrong? Should he have this hobby if
it makes him happy??
Thanks so much for the help!!!!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

boxergal said:


> I have been married to my husband for almost 13 years, and together for over 17
> years. We were teenager when we started dating. I have NEVER considered
> divorce until now. We have always done things together, be it camping, ATVing,
> movies, parties...etc. We also have a 5 year old daughter who comes into the
> ...


I raced dirt cars for a number of years. I think that just about any type of racing is addictive. I lived for it. Raced every Saturday, worked on the car(s) and spent money Monday through Friday. It got in the way of my home life too, but for a while, I was powerless to stop it.
I finally gave it up when we moved and money got a little tighter. I doubt that you can get him to quit until it gets through his system.
Here's my suggestion - 
You and your daughter get involved with the racing. He should be grooming a 5 year old already in the beginner carts. Do it as a family, set a budget for the kart, even make it a business.
I wanted my wife to do that, but our daughter was handicapped and it just wasn't possible for her to participate. My wife did get involved on the financial end and that accomplished two things.
1. She was a part of the racing team and included on decisions and advised on budget items.
2. She was able to keep me grounded on the financial side and sometimes I had to race without the new fancy parts. Often I was able to make something instead that fit the bill and that made me a better mechanic and fabricator.

I know of many families that race and continue to race as a family for generations. It really is a fun sport.


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## boxergal (Mar 19, 2011)

Thank so much for your input, i really appreciate it. We have tried it as a family, and it did not really bother me that much. Our money was not as tight as it is...and he was not that crazy over it. We did try our daughter in the quarter midgets last year. She was all ready to go, and then came the helmet and the neck brace. She hated it...did not like the feeling.
For now...we are really not in a financial situation to be doing this. He does not even own the slingshot and has put probably over a $1000 into it!!! That has just been slowly creeping up on me and making more and more angry. Its hard for me to look at it as a family outing when I really have a lot of issues over it. He does not even know what goes on with our financial needs for he never gets involved. I have tried numerous times to sit with him, but he has no interest. All he thinks about is racing. I just don't know...I really wish there was answer!! I believe that he will not give it up, and its so hard for me. There is just to much money going out on this, and loss of family time.


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