# Discovered my husband has posted me nude online for years.... HELP!!



## reachingout

This is a first for me. But I am reaching out to anyone that may be or has been in a similar situation. I have married 17 years and have four children with this man. He is nice person and has been a great dad. Recently I discover that since 2003 my husband has been posting naked pictures of me on several websites. He poses has me and asks people to send pictures of themselves excited to see my pictures. This is quite shocking to me and I am stunned. First I will say I did not even know the pictures existed they are all taken while I am asleep and he even makes mention in some of the posts how his wife doesnt even know going on. I am sick.. just sick. When I saw a strange email I did some research before I confronted him. I have everything documented printed and stored on flashdrives and safely at a friends house. Then I confronted him. My first fear is I dont know everything that is on the web. My second thing I am so angry and betrayed and shocked. This is now 2months of knowing. I cant even look at him and I am considering leaving or asking him to go. He admits it although I feel he is still holding back to the extent of this issue. He feels badly and wants to keep us together. But I just cant look at him wrap my head around this. How could he do this to someone he loves. and to be going on so long. I am not a person that holds anger at all and I tend to let things slide and go but this has a creepy feel and I just don t know if I can accept this in my relationship.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this


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## amberlynn

First off he shouldnt be taken naked pictures of you without your permission, let alone while you're sleeping. He has no respect for you at all. What would he have done if this would have been one of your kids that discovered this? That would have turned your kids on you. Seems he has no respect for them either. You could try putting a hidden keylogger on his computer, it saves all the chats and websites visited, if he is hiding something more, then you will find out about it, and I would most deffently hide the camera. Its disrespect to your body and its childish. He needs to grow up.


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## swedish

I would feel creeped out as well. I know there are couples who enjoy posting themselves all over the web, but to do this without your permission and knowledge is terrible. He obviously gets off on the reactions he gets, either that or he is trading for pictures in return but he is putting his secret thrills above his respect for you.

I would tread very slowly from here and see if you can guage his honesty...that he is telling you everything and removed whatever is out there. Unfortunately, pictures can be shared so it's not foolproof but he seriously needs to do his due diligence to erase what he can and show big-time remorse before I'd even consider trying to move past this.


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## dcrim

Or, OTOH, take pix of him while sleeping...photoshop his penis to about a half inch and post them where he posted!


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## marina72

OH wow.. this is just sick. I'm sorry, but for me, personally, if my husband had been taking nude pictures of me while I slept, or even with my knowledge, and then posted them on the web for the last 6 years.... I could never look at him again. At least that is what I think , but I've never had this happen to me. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.

I just couldn't do it I dont' think. This is an invasion of privacy and betrayel in the most extreme. For Six years... I don't know what to tell you, except that I'd never trust him again, and I wouldn't feel comfortable with him touching me, if my hubby did that to me. I think that would be a serious deal breaker.


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## bohumil12

Without yoour permission he betrayed your trust. This is serious your body is private to you. I think there is something underlying with your hubby. I hope you don't have video he might have shopped those too. the internet can be an evil device. Do I think you should leave? No, but he needs to see if this can be cleaned up. I don't think he knows how something like this can destroy someones career and pride. He must have an addiction for feelings to motivate him to expose the one thing he professes to love. There needs to be a lot of communication and counseling here.


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## preso

reachingout said:


> This is a first for me. But I am reaching out to anyone that may be or has been in a similar situation. I have married 17 years and have four children with this man. He is nice person and has been a great dad. Recently I discover that since 2003 my husband has been posting naked pictures of me on several websites. He poses has me and asks people to send pictures of themselves excited to see my pictures. This is quite shocking to me and I am stunned. First I will say I did not even know the pictures existed they are all taken while I am asleep and he even makes mention in some of the posts how his wife doesnt even know going on. I am sick.. just sick. When I saw a strange email I did some research before I confronted him. I have everything documented printed and stored on flashdrives and safely at a friends house. Then I confronted him. My first fear is I dont know everything that is on the web. My second thing I am so angry and betrayed and shocked. This is now 2months of knowing. I cant even look at him and I am considering leaving or asking him to go. He admits it although I feel he is still holding back to the extent of this issue. He feels badly and wants to keep us together. But I just cant look at him wrap my head around this. How could he do this to someone he loves. and to be going on so long. I am not a person that holds anger at all and I tend to let things slide and go but this has a creepy feel and I just don t know if I can accept this in my relationship.
> 
> I would love to hear your thoughts on this


sue him


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## Sandy55

This is wrong on so many levels. Am very sad for you. I too had something along this line happen to me with my dh. I keep trying to "hang in there" but is has destroyed our relationship; I have no respect left in my heart for him and I only stay because I have problems making $.


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## Sandy55

Oh, and I agree totally with PRESO: sue him. I also cannot image a court that would not give you custody under these circumstances, it is just shows such POOR judgement on his part.


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## revitalizedhusband

You got any brothers?

I ask because as a man there is obviously NO WAY I'd do this to my wife, and if someone did it to my sister I'd probably beat the snot out of them.


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## moonshadegold

Oh disgusting! Divorce the bastard. I'm sorry but that's a deal breaker for me! Freakin 6 years?? Nasty sicko!! There are laws aren't there about such things. I'd do research. As for sueing him...that could get ugly in court but hey you have every right to! Too bad he's not military haha he'd probably lose his career and potentially go to jail! XD 

And while the temptation to do the same back may momentarily make you feel better...it could look bad on you in a court of law should you sue or divorce. Compile your evidence folder!

I think the most important things is the impact on your emotional state and of course your kids! I mean that is a poor example for your kids...Do they know? And if so how are they handling it??

I pray that the situation has been resolved seeing as this was posted in 2009.

-Moon


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## justwow

I am all for forgiveness when possible, but here I don't feel that it is possible. At most he should be arrested, although I don't know the legalities of this. At the very least, sue him. Honestly, think about your kids. He is affecting their lives. They may now see their mommy on the internet. That is unacceptable behavior from a parent. Protect yourself and your kids in whatever way you can.


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## Canuck

Wow, hang in there, this must be difficult.

Is it easy to identify that it's you in the pix? E.g. your face, tattoos, etc.

If not, I would call that a big relief. Move on quickly and quietly, and decide whether or not separate. Definitely put a keylogger on the computer without his knowledge so you can police his sorry ass.

If you are identifiable in the photos, separate and divorce. He's inconsiderate *and* stupid. Because you have kids, don't give the money to lawyers by suing him, nobody wins (but the lawyers). Hire a paralegal (?Canada only?) Do what's best for the kids above all, they didn't ask to be put in the middle.

Let us know what happens! Good luck...


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## Amplexor

Does everyone realize this thread is over two years old?


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