# what is the average age of losing virginity?



## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

I'm just curious generally. I've not lost it yet and am 18 not sure I want to for a while seeing I keep thinking I don't think I'll have that option to me for a while. Because I'm way behind everyone sociially just came out of confinement as I call it my mom's house. I didn't have a social life because I was stuck inside. So I'm just trying to regularly socialize before dating like make friends being able to talk confidently to strangers etc. Plus I'm deathly afraid of sex because I know it's going to hurt a million. So I'm pretty sure by 21 or 22 I'll still be a virgin or around that time I'll loose it. I'm wondering what's like the average? Jw?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I don’t know if anyone knows the average age of losing virginity. What matters is not the age others lose their virginity but when you lose yours and the circumstances under which you do. You have to do what is right for you regardless of what anyone else does.

Why do you think that sex will hurt a million?


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

Take your time.

I would say the near absolute range is 15 to 25 but much much more between 17 and 21 and more yet between 18 and 19. 

Only my opinion. I had some pretty sexually active friends when I was a teen and I was very active (often more than once a day) from 16. 

I think I was ahead of the curve though from many converations with other people. 

I dont think it hurts as much as you think but Im also not female. a few girlfriends were virgins before me and it didnt seem to be excruciating for them.

Do you have some older females you can talk to or a doc or nurse or helath teacher to help you understand the level of discomfort?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

from wiki

Age Boys Girls
14 7.9% 5.7%
15 14.6% 13.0%
16 25.3% 26.8%
17 39.4% 43.1%
18 54.3% 58.0%
19 65.2% 70.1%


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## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

for me personally I don't even use tampons because I'm that sensitive. I'm not the average girl. I think I might have cah? Well not because of that because my hormones have always been off and similar to it. Which could explain my senstivity issue as well. But idk....


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## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

ok so I'm not off that many years by those statistically at least. That's good to know... I was hoping it wasn't anymore than 3 years off.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

teenagedream1 said:


> for me personally I don't even use tampons because I'm that sensitive. I'm not the average girl. I think I might have cah? Well not because of that because my hormones have always been off and similar to it. Which could explain my senstivity issue as well. But idk....


What help can you get to overcome this?


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

teendream--
Well, I hope I don't sound too motherly here. I hope that my child stays a virgin for many years yet. (only 18)
j


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

make sure you take it for a test drive by yourself.

so you know what you like and everything is functioning properly.

as far as waiting until marriage ........good luck with that not sure I would advocate it either. sexually incompatibility is a bad situation to be in once your married.

make sure you talk about it before you get married be frank and open discuss if your open to things like oral sex ,or anal sex . talk it to death before you get married.

good luck and go at your own pace.


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## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

I would save myself til marriage if it happened to be that way but it doesn't have to be...


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I'm not trying to get you to be a prude.. just please, please be careful out there. 
j


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## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> What help can you get to overcome this?


idk how? Idk much about it I just speculate I could have it...


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

As you would expect coming from me. I say wait till your married. You will have a much happier marriage. All the posts here prove that. Dont worry about the previous poster that one has to 'try' out before hand. Dont.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

teenagedream1 said:


> idk how? Idk much about it I just speculate I could have it...


If you think you have it then you really do need to go to a doctor and be checked out. There should be no pain. So if you have pain get it checked.. now. Your health is important.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

By CAH, do you mean Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia? WHy do you think you have it?


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

If youre still a virgin how do you know it will cause you pain. I am told for some it does for some it doesnt but never that bad that you should lose sleep over it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Please take the time to read this thread I did a month ago --it should address all of your concerns, it is not the AGE you choose to have sex that matters.....*what do you want from sex *...*this is the question*? Do not worry about what others are doing, care about your own life, your own goals in this life. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/family...-sex-relation-love-her-emotions-her-life.html

I waited for marriage -but we still had our FUN during those dating years !  And it did hurt, In fact he couldn't get it in - I got pregnant before my husband was able to penetrate me ! Then he was afraid of hurting the baby! This came months later with my growing belly... a little nuts indeed. We even celebrated ! The situation was so rediculous, we used to joke how this son was our immaculate conception. Funny, as he is the one who wants to be a Youth Paster someday. 

I never cared what all the other girls were doing, that just wasn't what it was about.


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

why didnt you use dilators.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

accept said:


> As you would expect coming from me. I say wait till your married. You will have a much happier marriage. All the posts here prove that. Dont worry about the previous poster that one has to 'try' out before hand. Dont.


Not my posts. We have an amazing sex life and neither of us waited. Virginity has nothing at all to do with a happy marriage.

I have a very small vagina; my doctor has to use a pediatric speculum to do my pap smears. When I lost my virginity, my then boyfriend had to try three times, because I kept stopping him. It hurt a lot, but I think that nerves played a factor. Most of the girls I was friends with back then, said that losing it hurt them too. It is not uncommon.


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

You havent replied why you didnt or dont use dilators. Check google if you dont know what they are.
They are plastic tubes of different sizes.
I must mention I have almost exactly the same problems (amongst others).


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

15 to 19, by some sources:

Losing Virginity at Younger Ages? Not So, Global Sex Survey Finds: Scientific American

----

(off topic add...)

Holy crap... 30 years ago. I was 16, she was barely 16 - going on 25. "...and we were glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife..." 

good times. Crazy stupid times, but good times nonetheless. ;-)


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> from wiki
> 
> Age Boys Girls
> 14 7.9% 5.7%
> ...


I'm not even on that curve. I was 13 however my situation is unique as in I have had to deal with childhood sexual assault.

In my experience (as anecdotal as it is) those dealing with sexual assault are more promiscuous and at an earlier age.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

As a sexual abuse survivor, I can confirm that sexual abuse can lead to promiscuity. 

I was frightened of boys until I was 17 and started kissing. I lost my virginity at 18 and I was still a prude until I was 23. There were about two years where I slept with too many people. My heart was broken three times and I became promiscuous as a way of getting back at those three men, as well as the one that molested me. I became this ball busting woman who became angry with men who actually liked me and wanted to date. I feel bad when I remember the hurt faces of the men I used for sex, but back then, it gave me a rush. I was just too scared to let myself fall in love again. 

Getting married has been so healing for my sexuality. My husband helps me feel safe enough to open my heart to him and this improves our lovemaking. His gentle and quiet ways broke down all the barriers when we met.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

accept said:


> why didnt you use dilators.


The young lady, 18, is a virgin. Do you mind? 

This is a thread where I think she should be getting support from women, not a man who asks her strange questions. Please.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

accept said:


> You havent replied why you didnt or dont use dilators. Check google if you dont know what they are.
> They are plastic tubes of different sizes.
> I must mention I have almost exactly the same problems (amongst others).


How do you have the same problems? You are a man. Exactly what are you using those dilators for? :rofl:


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

My question was not to the OP but to the previous poster.
*I waited for marriage -but we still had our FUN during those dating years ! And it did hurt, In fact he couldn't get it in - I got pregnant before my husband was able to penetrate me*


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Even if it was to the OP, dialators are used to treat vaginismus. They are not a sex toy.
Vaginal Dilator Set - Vaginismus.com


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## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

I have precocious puberty and many other reasons I feel it's like when I lok certain mild forms that I have it.


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## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

CantePe said:


> I'm not even on that curve. I was 13 however my situation is unique as in I have had to deal with childhood sexual assault.
> 
> In my experience (as anecdotal as it is) those dealing with sexual assault are more promiscuous and at an earlier age.



I was sexually abused as well but supposedly not where I lost my virginity because I was a virgin medically 
proven.
not everyone who's abused is promiscuous. But some are I agree

I could never use dilators even if they were sex toys. If they're bigger than 2 fingers. I'm like that small. I know that it would hurt because of trying to use tampons and drs trying to do papsmears it never worked. And was very painful. Therefore sex would be obviously painful.


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## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

thanks for the link btw


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My daughter was 16.

I was not angry, how could I be? I was around the same age. I strongly urge my daughter to use condoms the next time it happens due to STD's. She was completely in love with this guy and wanted to spend her life with him. He only wanted sex, then dumped her. My daughter has not been in a relationship since he broke her heart, she's nearly 18 now.

I don't expect her to be married, but it would be nice of she waited until she was engaged.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aussie84 (Dec 21, 2011)

I really don't think there is an "average" age to lose your virginity.
It comes solely down to each individual person.
I personally was 20. I had opportunities to lose it before this but was never comfortable with the person and so it never went anywhere. When I did finally lose it, I immediately regretted it. I had met my now husband but we hadn't started dating yet. I was so worried that he would care that I was a virgin that I slept with someone I didn't know just because I felt like 20 was "too old" and he would think there was something wrong with me. As it turned out my now husband was also a virgin and I wish that I had just waited.
Don't feel like you have to rush into it or that if you're still a virgin at a certain age that it's not right. You'll know when it's right no matter what age you are.
Good Luck


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am sorry to sound so stupid Accept -but I was sexually uneducated when I met my boyfriend, too religiously minded plus he used his fingers on me, we just waited for intercoarse, I also did a lot of gymnastics back then, I never dreamed it was going to be that much trouble to get it in ...he should have just FORCED it I suppose and let me bleed but he is just not that type of guy, he couldn't stand that it was hurting me, but we kept at it . 

It was so bad, that after 3 months of trying to penetrate me, I went to the Obgyn to see what the heck was wrong-how embarrassing - he examined me, said I had a Ridgid one, and he was then scheduling me for a "hymenectomy" ....but here I had to take a blood test to make sure I was not pregnant, and well -I got the surprise of my life a few days later from the Docs office -it was positive ....and no surgery. 

I never heard of dilators before, like I said, I was not sexually educated back then at all.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

You are not stupid, SA. We all know a lot about some subjects, but not all. You are smart enough to admit that you don't know, instead of pretending. 

My first boyfriend gently stopped and started. Each time, more of him went inside until the third try. We were so awkward that day under a blanket, in the shade of a weeping willow. My first time was very romantic and loving-we were together for a whole year before and after sex. 

OP, make sure that you have actually been diagnosed with precocious puberty. If you are 18, you are likely just past puberty or in the later stages. It is normal for you too look like an adult. Just remember that you will continue to change as the years go by. At 25, I guarantee that you will look completely different than now.


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## teenagedream1 (Dec 18, 2011)

no precocious puberty involves when I was a kid. I started pubery at 6 well right before my 7th b-day. Got my period at 8 right before my 9th b-day. So yea... I did feel I finish puberty like 3 or 4years ago but no big deal.....


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

44???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

To SA
I am just as stupid as you. Perhaps even more so. My wife had got them from the doctor and never bothered to use them for years. She told me there was nothing for it. I will never forgive her for all those troubled and wasted years. It was only after reading about it on the net that I found out about it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I was 21. It was with a bf I had for 10 months at the time. It didn't hurt....but it was quick! LOL I thought, "I waited for this? Lame. Pass me a beer." hahaha We dated another year.


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