# advice needed from the men



## familygirl (Dec 13, 2013)

Hello all. I have already posted this in the main discussion area but thought it may get more attention here

Does anyone know if a guy gets embaressed around a girl - does this mean he likes her?

My guy gets flustered when he talks about female colleagues and even ran away from one in the mall when one colleague we seen said hello.

He says he is embarressed and goes as far so say she is unattractive.

I would appreciate honest advice.

thanks


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

This could be taken so many ways... But generally speaking, it's odd behaviour, no matter the reason.

My first instinct is to say that he's just unusually shy. But he has you, so he's not shy enough to have landed a partner!

What do you think of the women he's done this to? Do you find them attractive, or not? Do they seem sexually available? They could have hit on him, and it makes him uncomfortable.

He could be totally socially awkward, especially when it comes to work mates. Lots of people separate work and home life completely, and maybe that's his MO.

It could be that he's embarrassed of you for some reason. That may sound harsh, but it's possible. You could be a stunningly beautiful woman, but there's something his self esteem feels that others may judge him by. It's not uncommon. My ex wife was routinely embarrassed by me in public for seemingly made-up reasons. I didn't fit her "code of conduct" when in social situations, I guess.

Or, it could be that he either has a thing for these women, and/or he's DONE something with these women. I wouldn't jump on that horse just yet, but it's not worth discounting.

No matter how you look at it, something's up with him. Socially awkward around women or co-workers, embarrassed to be seen with you, or a cheater. I'd start with lowest common denominator though, before the hounds come out and start telling you to hire a PI or show up at his work...


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## familygirl (Dec 13, 2013)

The girl we met in the mall was very attractive with a baby and the other two are single but I havnt met them - YET!

Thanks for your reply Alex. Nice to get a male perspective


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Have you ever done anything to make him feel like he should "shelter" you from how he perceives other women?

I'll be honest here, since it's an anonymous site. . My SO has commented often on how ugly jealousy is. But there's been a number of times that she's revealed her insecurity and jealousy, even if she doesn't necessarily recognize it at the time. She will acknowledge it and apologize if I point it out, though. 

So what do I do? I've found that I will omit details that I think she might react to. For example, I had to go to a wedding by myself. And I ended up sitting between two ( married) females who were also there alone. One was an acquaintance, one I had never met, both of them I had some hobbies in common with which is why the bride sat us all together. When I was telling my SO about my evening though, I conveniently neglected to mention the fact that my table mates were female. When she called me on it, I thought about it, acknowledged that I had probably done that semi-deliberately, and it was because she sometimes doesn't react well when I spend time without her in the company of other women. 

Anyway... To make a long story longer... Maybe you or a past partner (my STBXW was also insecure) has taught him that the best thing to do is to defuse the situation with "harmless" lies. Just a thought.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Boys and in your case, Men, are shy around women and girls, when they aren't comfortable talking with girls or women yet. At some point as boys grow up, or men, they start to figure out that women are human too, like the boys , but different. Most boys I know who have been around enough girls, if they encountered a pretty girl at the mall or anywhere, would want to stick around and chat and get more time and attention from such a lady.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

unless i know the woman yeah i am uncomfortable and nervous around them and im married


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

What the hell? Married and nervous around other women? I just don't get this.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

*Re: Re: advice needed from the men*



Sangaran said:


> It is not easy to believe this. In my youth at school I talked to many girls, to get them known. Later when I was experienced I realized that they were unattractive.


For me, part of a woman's beauty derives from her looks but a bigger part is what happens when she opens her mouth. If she commences to litter her sentences liberally with the word LIKE, then clearly the ugliness surfaces. But most women can be beautiful; it's generic. It's the woman's behavior and thinking that either beautifies or denigrates her.


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## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

familygirl said:


> He says he is embarressed and goes as far so say she is unattractive.
> 
> I would appreciate honest advice.
> 
> thanks


One guess it's that even though he hasn't flirted and might never, he feels terribly guilty to be married and yet still attracted.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

My take is your old man is hiding something.

My guess is when you are not around..like at work he acts completely different then when you are around.

I'm speculating that he is a bigger flirt then you suspect.

I bet if you ever planted a bug or secretly video taped your old man you wouldn't like the way he behaves when your not around.


And thats why he is embarrassed!


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## whathappenedtome (Nov 4, 2013)

I have had my wife ask me if coworkers were attractive. It was a difficult question for me. Say yes, and your spouse might feel bad or worse angry. Say no, and if they meet, you were obviously lying to her.

I ended up taking the truth route and saying yes. It worked out best for me that way.

I have walked the other way when seeing coworkers, simply because I didn't feel like interacting with them at the time.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

alexm said:


> This could be taken so many ways... But generally speaking, it's odd behaviour, no matter the reason.
> 
> My first instinct is to say that he's just unusually shy. But he has you, so he's not shy enough to have landed a partner!
> 
> ...


I disagree, Except maybe this one is possible: He could be totally socially awkward, especially when it comes to work mates. Lots of people separate work and home life completely, and maybe that's his MO.

Also:

Embarrassment is not a conscious process, and the more attention is drawn to it, the less controllable it becomes.

I imagine that he finds them embarrassing, not you. Particularly if he seems to want to get away from them.

Just an idea, hope it helps.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Send them toward me , those scantily clad ladies. I'd love to talk with them.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

Ironic how you interpreted it as the opposite, that he was attracted...

I think he is highly unlikely to try it on with his female colleagues if he seems embarrassed to be around them.

This could be a good thing for you.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

ankh said:


> Send them toward me , those scantily clad ladies. I'd love to talk with them.


Ah, I amended my comment to be more direct. Trust me, ankh the ones I was thinking of need covering up.

You know the ones: baps hanging out, but wearing trackie pants and trainers and hoop earrings, dyed hair... do you know what I mean? I'm in England if that helps...


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

whathappenedtome said:


> I have had my wife ask me if coworkers were attractive. It was a difficult question for me. Say yes, and your spouse might feel bad or worse angry. Say no, and if they meet, you were obviously lying to her.
> 
> I ended up taking the truth route and saying yes. It worked out best for me that way.
> 
> *I have walked the other way when seeing coworkers, simply because I didn't feel like interacting with them at the time.*


:iagree:


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## Onthefenc (Dec 11, 2013)

Just a guess, but perhaps he never told his coworker he was married. 

Not yhat he has been cheating, but men sometimes live different lives at work


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

familygirl said:


> Hello all. I have already posted this in the main discussion area but thought it may get more attention here
> 
> Does anyone know if a guy gets embaressed around a girl - does this mean he likes her?
> 
> ...


Does get embaressed in othe social situations? My daughter can turn the colore of a lobster in seconds when she feels embaressed. Often there is nothing to even be embaressed about she says it just happens she has no control over it. Often she will find a out of the conversation because people will say things like "Why are you so red.......wow you just turned really red do you know that?" 

It happens more around guys then girls, so it could be perfectily natural. Some people are just genetically cursed ;( I feel for her so much!!


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I'm 50, married for 20+ years and SCARED TO DEATH of pretty women.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Sandfly said:


> You know the ones: baps hanging out, but wearing trackie pants and trainers and hoop earrings, dyed hair... do you know what I mean? *I'm in England if that helps*...


Yes, that helps A LOT. Fully got the picture now.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

I get awkward around women I find sexually appealing as I am married.

One half of you wants to stare and drool while the other half does not want to disrespect your wife. it creates inner turmoil.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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