# Towards a better understanding of sexual addictions



## White.Rabbit

In January I quit a marriage that had been poisoned by his long standing pornography addiction, which left me wanting and his perception of real sex twisted. In the interests of moving on I'd like a better understanding of what I've left behind. 

Do any of the good people here know of any recommended reading or resources (without any religious content) that might help?


----------



## Deejo

I remember you.

Are you looking for understanding from the perspective of the choices he made, in terms of addiction, and poor choices or your relationship to pornography and/or sexuality?


----------



## White.Rabbit

I have no issues with porn per se, only when it becomes compulsive / addictive and impacts negatively on relationships. Fortunately I've come out of this a much stronger person than I was, with a lot of help from another forum, my new partner and a good astrologer. I don't have any self esteem issues, but emotional ones and bad nerves from what'd become a very volatile situation.

Primarily I'm interested in the addictive process and how it can effect those around them.


----------



## Mr B

Heavy porn use is almost always just a symptom of something else and that list is very long.

here are a few of the more common causes of porn use:

-attachemnt disorders/ fear of intimacy
-childhood abuse
-various personality disorders
-lower than normal level of the neurochemical Dopamine in the brain (porn stimulates the production of this)
-sexual boredom
-a prefernce for sexual fantatsy over the real thing (usually caused by one or more of the above)
-sexual dysfunctions with a partner (sometimes caused by "masturbation conditioning")
-non intimate marriage (buddies only)
-depression

There are many more. Keep in mind I'm talking HEAVY porn use not once in awhile-most mean do that. And if he comes to prefer masturbation and porn to partner sex that usually points to a psychological issue.

Porn in and of itself is not the problem, just the symptom of something else. If it was the major problem, every porn using man on the planet would be hooked and would stop having partner sex altogether. 

Heavy porn users usually do it to self medicate another existing problem, they can also be heavy drinkers, gamblers, drug addicts....it's all the same part of the brain that gets stimulated by these activities.


----------

