# threesomes



## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

A little back story to the issue at hand. ​
This is my 2nd marriage. With my first H I was so eger to please I would do anything and everything to please him both sexually and non-sexual. Our relationship was honestly nothing like what a H and W relationship should be. It was more like a friendship we could do anything together and I felt comfortable asking things about his sex life and how I could improve, so that I could be the best thing that he has ever had. We were up one night after sex talking about fantasies and he had mentioned a three-some and how it is a majority of guys #1 fantasy. I have experimented with girls before so that was not the issue. I told him that if I found a girl attractive and that I would be interested in. Then I would initiate the whole ordeal and come to him when I was ready. He was fine with that and didn’t seem to push the issue. Well to make this story a lot shorter we ended up doing the whole three-some thing. It continued for 3-4 months straight. A big problem is I didn’t have sex with him without her after this whole thing all went down. I later found out that he was abusive and dirt bag all together and divorced him before he killed me. 

What is going on now!​
I have since remarried an amazing guy. We have had talks about three-somes and things like that. He says that it is a fantasy of his like most. He knows about my past and says that it will just be something he is going to have to live with not ever having. I was ok with that until reading a lot of forums TAM about how men are emotionally hurt when there wife admits to doing something with an ex but refuses to do it with him. I don’t want him to resent me for being concerned about this issue/ close minded. A little bit about him. He is uber jealous and gets extremely mad about when his guy friends talk about me in a sexual way and has almost stopped hanging out with them all together because they don’t get the hint that it pisses him off. Well another thing it isn’t just guys he is jealous of. He goes out of town a lot and told me that if he ever came home/ found out that I was having physical relations with a women he would be pissed. 

My question?​
-	Does he really want a threesome or is it something that he has just fantasied about for a long time?
-	Should I reconsider because I would do anything for my husband even if it means rethinking everything I have sworn to myself for years now?
-	What would you do?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

What would I do?? Tell my husband I have grown way up since my first marriage and that if he seriously thinks I should give in and have a threesome just to please him, there's the door, BYE BYE.

Quit overthinking this. He said he's fine without it. Quit beating yourself up!! And maybe start doing a little work on building your self esteem. You sound far too eager to please.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Ok, I`m assuming he knows you have had a threesome in the past.

When it comes up again just tell him it was a bad experience that you`d rather not repeat.

Some couples are happy adding others to their sex lives without problems, most aren`t that secure/adventurous.

I`ve turned down any and all offers for FFM threesomes I`ve ever had due to the problems they can cause.

I wouldn`t have one in my marriage ..due to the problems they can cause.

To be exact, my wife has offered, even promoted the idea of a FFM threesome and I gently rejected the idea so just because he`s a guy doesn`t mean he wants a threesome.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

My self esteem is fine. There is nothing wrong with that side of the equation and we both know that. Im just asking should i reconsider? I enjoyed the threesomes it was a lot of fun. The problem was the male third party.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

I think you owe him the experience, you've had it and it's only fair.

My 2 cents.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Marvel212 said:


> A little bit about him. He is uber jealous


Should answer your question right there. He can't handle it.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Marvel212 said:


> My self esteem is fine. There is nothing wrong with that side of the equation and we both know that. Im just asking should i reconsider? I enjoyed the threesomes it was a lot of fun. The problem was the male third party.


Which is often one of those "problems" I mentioned above.

If you personally have no problems with it (& I urge you to really think about it) then you just have to ask yourself if your man would react with respect and consideration during and after the threesome.

You won`t know for sure until you try it which is why I haven't tried it.

Overestimating your mate is a serious possible mistake in this situation.

One you can`t take back once it`s done.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

You just made my brain explode. Good work Marvel, good work indeed.

I am definitely in the TAM crowd that feels a wife should try everything with her husband to see if she likes it WITH HIM. The idea of trying anal with someone before him (or oral) and not liking it, is irrelevant. Try with your husband and both of you decide what you did or didn't like. Your husband is probably going to be be more careful/caring and make things MUCH better for you physically on ANYTHING he tries. He is the guy you chose to be with for the rest of your life, so he must have done something better than every guy before him. Maybe he can do that one thing you "didn't like" better too. Give him a chance. Even if it's once, do not make your husband feel rejected. Why would you want that dark cloud over his head? A wife/husband should make their spouses feel like their absolute EVERYTHING. 

Now, with that being said, I am with the my OWN crowd when it comes to threesomes. I am 100% against adding another person to your marriage no matter what. 

I read the failure rate for an open marriage is 92%(I thought it was 98% -- was wrong). A threesome doesn't mean your marriage is open, but it does open the doors to your husband feeling he is able to get away with a bit more. Do you want a successful marriage? 

Also, let your husband know you are willing to do ANYTHING between the two of you, but when it comes to adding another person, it's off limits. 

Good luck.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I wouldn't.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

"Trying" everything with your husband should not include, trying other people. The only thing being "tried" in a threesome, is the third person. 

Anal, oral, sex positions, are all between you and your husband.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

Aristotle said:


> "Trying" everything with your husband should not include, trying other people. The only thing being "tried" in a threesome, is the third person.
> 
> Anal, oral, sex positions, are all between you and your husband.


Thats the thing we do anything and everything we can think of. That is my only problem with the threesome is that he might think it is ok to be with the other girl anytime. I guess it is something we will talk about when he gets home. Right before he leaves again I dont want to push him away before we get it in. :rofl:


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## Wanting1 (Apr 26, 2012)

If he already has jealousy issues, it probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to see you being sexual with another person.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I guess you have a choice here - you can give him a threesome which I really don't predict will end well given his obvious love and possessiveness of you. 

OR 

you can choose to tell him - you'd prefer to stay married to him and him alone.

I think you found out in the first marriage just what kind of guy is able to share his wife. A guy who doesn't really care for or love her. He's with her until something better comes along, but he doesn't see her as his core partner. 

You lost your private sex relationship with your husband after you started the threesome stuff. You yourself said you never again had sex with just him - always him and her. 

If you value your current marriage you won't throw it away by adding a third person into it.


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## reset button (Mar 14, 2012)

Marvel212 said:


> My self esteem is fine. There is nothing wrong with that side of the equation and we both know that. Im just asking should i reconsider? I enjoyed the threesomes it was a lot of fun. *The problem was the male third party.*


You originally said the threesome with the ex were with another women. third male party?

Sounds like you want them and he doesn't he likes it to be a fantasy.

Be careful of the uber jealous type, ex finace was, he was a cheater and projected on me. not trying to stir something up but I would think you should keep your eyes and ears open if he travels alot,this seems to be a BIG opportunity for cheaters.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

reset button said:


> You originally said the threesome with the ex were with another women. third male party?
> 
> Sounds like you want them and he doesn't he likes it to be a fantasy.
> 
> Be careful of the uber jealous type, ex finace was, he was a cheater and projected on me. not trying to stir something up but I would think you should keep your eyes and ears open if he travels alot,this seems to be a BIG opportunity for cheaters.


The third party was my ex lol. :rofl: He only travels because he is in the military. I love the fact that he cares enough to be jealous. His love for me is undenying even a stranger can see it.


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## reset button (Mar 14, 2012)

Marvel212 said:


> The third party was my ex lol. :rofl: He only travels because he is in the military. I love the fact that he cares enough to be jealous. His love for me is undenying even a stranger can see it.


So ... basically you are bi-sexual and are trying to convince your new husband to agree to threesome so you can get you jollys off with a woman?

It is uncool to pressure him into something he is uncomfortable doing and will ruin your marriage. He will resent you and hate the feeling he gets when you are being aroused/pleased by another person regardless of gender. He has already told you this point blank.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

You should set your boundaries and stick to them. Your husband loves you and will respect them, especially given your past.

You know that having 3-ways paved the way to ruining your last marriage, why in the world would you cross that line again. Make your boundary no other people in the bedroom and leave it there.

Sure I want my wife to please me, but not at the expense of crossing any of her boundaries... sounds like your husband feels the same way.

Nothing good will come out of sleeping with your ex-H... it will undoubtedly dredge up old feelings you have, and just confuse the heck out of your marriage and possibly doom it.

Your not just playing with fire here, you are playing with a flamethrower.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

reset button said:


> So ... basically you are bi-sexual and are trying to convince your new husband to agree to threesome so you can get you jollys off with a woman?


I'm not seeing a big problem with this as long as husband can get his jollys off with the woman too.

It's almost every man's fantasy. 

win/win

or more aptly:

win/win/win

:smthumbup:


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

reset button said:


> So ... basically you are bi-sexual and are trying to convince your new husband to agree to threesome so you can get you jollys off with a woman?
> 
> It is uncool to pressure him into something he is uncomfortable doing and will ruin your marriage. He will resent you and hate the feeling he gets when you are being aroused/pleased by another person regardless of gender. He has already told you this point blank.


I find women beautiful and delicate. I never brought it up to my husband until he asked about having one and admitted it was a fantasy of his. I understand his jealousy and I can honestly say if i never kissed or had a sexual realation with another women it wouldnt matter to me. the fact that you think i am pressuring him is uncalled for. I would only do it for him because as many men on here express their feelings on the wives having exprienced something with an ex and not with them. I dont want him to resent me and end up in a sexless marriage.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

What about role playing? You pretend to be another woman or your husband pretends he's another man. You adopt a different persona with different mannerism and different name. You both get to be different people scr*wing each other's brains out behinds your spouse's back. Kosher adultery


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

morituri said:


> What about role playing? You pretend to be another woman or your husband pretends he's another man. You adopt a different persona with different mannerism and different name. You both get to be different people scr*wing each other's brains out behinds your spouse's back. Kosher adultery


The only problem i see with that is he would be mad about me thinking about another guy even if the one doing it is him.


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## reset button (Mar 14, 2012)

Marvel212 said:


> I find women beautiful and delicate. I never brought it up to my husband until he asked about having one and admitted it was a fantasy of his. I understand his jealousy and I can honestly say if i never kissed or had a sexual realation with another women it wouldnt matter to me. *the fact that you think i am pressuring him is uncalled for.* I would only do it for him because as many men on here express their feelings on the wives having exprienced something with an ex and not with them. I dont want him to resent me and end up in a sexless marriage.


Uncalled for......Um He has already told you he better never find out your were with another woman, and from what I hear from your posts is
1. You husband thinks a threesome is a hot FANTASY.(not reality)
2. He is jealous and is not interested in sharing you with even another woman.

My conclusion, he thinks of the threesome as a fantasy and you keep implying that you enjoyed it and keep asking him about it. To me this is pressuring, I am not saying you told him " I want to do this...period"

From what you wrote, my opinion is, if he agrees to it he is doing it because he thinks it will please you, but his jealousy will get the best of him and it won't end well.

Most fantasies make HORRIBLE realities as you have experienced in your past , why go there again?


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

reset button said:


> Uncalled for......Um He has already told you he better never find out your were with another woman, and from what I hear from your posts is
> 1. You husband thinks a threesome is a hot FANTASY.(not reality)
> 2. He is jealous and is not interested in sharing you with even another woman.
> 
> ...


I undersatand that. What was uncalled for is you thinking that I am presurring him into having a threesome when he brought it up.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Marvel212 said:


> The only problem i see with that is he would be mad about me thinking about another guy even if the one doing it is him.


I really don't think this bodes well for a threesome.

What if you guys watched some porn together? Maybe some solo girl or girl-girl stuff that you two could share??


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## MrsKy (May 5, 2012)

Wanting a Strong Marriage said:


> If he already has jealousy issues, it probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to see you being sexual with another person.


:iagree::iagree:

My husband is a little bit jealous and possessive. I was interested in threesomes before, but he wouldn't hear of it. He doesn't want to share his wife and I love my hubby for that. 

Sometimes a woman can have a bad past experience with a certain sexual act and not want to do it again. That should be respected and understood by her husband. Nobody's preferences are irrelevant. I've tried certain acts with my husband and nobody else because he never pressured me or badgered me into them.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Marvel212 said:


> I dont want him to resent me and end up in a sexless marriage.


Cross that bridge when you get to it, and keep in mind more than likely that will not come to pass.

Having a threesome did destroy your last marriage. Don't make the same mistake twice for fear that your current husband *might* become resentful.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

MrsKy;735333I've tried certain acts with my husband and nobody else because he never pressured me or badgered me into them.[/QUOTE said:


> So he asks nicely and then eventually you consent?
> 
> Interesting strategy.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I have no idea what's going on here. Who wants the threesome - you or him? Who asked who? Do you want it with a male or female?? Why are you asking? Are you bisexual? Is your husband? How many times were you married?


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> I have no idea what's going on here. Who wants the threesome - you or him? Who asked who? Do you want it with a male or female?? Why are you asking? Are you bisexual? Is your husband? How many times were you married?


He wants one.
He asked me.
He wants it with a female. 
No im not bi. I cant be with a women I love penis too much. 
This is my second marriage. 
Any other questions?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Personally, if you would have asked before he knew, I would have said this is one instance where it's probably best to not let him know what you did in the past. I wouldn't want to know. Once I did know, I would forever be thinking of the fairness aspect of it. You did it, he never has. You did it for another man, but not for him. 

The part that would be a problem for me would be the willingness aspect. If you said, hey I'm willing to do it for you because I'm willing to do anything for you, but it's your decision....I'd likely elect not to. But it would be extremely important that you're willing and that the decision would be mine.

If you're not willing, and again I'm speaking just about how "I" would feel, then everytime anything reminded me that you've done it before but are unwilling with me I would be triggered.

Again, I'd rather just not know at all. In fact I've never asked my wife this question. But for you the cat is out of the bag.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Marvel212 said:


> He wants one.
> He asked me.
> He wants it with a female.
> No im not bi. I cant be with a women I love penis too much.
> ...


Thank-you.

Ok my original answer still stands then


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

Well we talked about it. A lot was accomplished tonight. He admitted that he was feeling like I was comparing him to my ex. (poor thing) I informed him my veiws on it. It is not something we are going to jump into. I honestly thinks that he is happy knowing that I am willing to make his fantasies come true even though it may never happen. Thank you guys and gals for being honest and giving your input.


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## Riven (May 4, 2012)

I personally would never be able to, I'd be way to jealous with another woman if he did anything with her, and I can't imagine that my husband would like watching another guy having sex with me... but hey... maybe it's worth asking, lol. 

Glad you guys talked about it!


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Two women? God forbid!  That's six possible orifices and I've only got one tool. I'd need some time to recover after my first O. There's just no way. Not even in my fantasy. I'll just stick with my wife.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Marvel212 said:


> The only problem i see with that is he would be mad about me thinking about another guy even if the one doing it is him.


Sounds like your husband is jealous of his own shadow


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## reset button (Mar 14, 2012)

Marvel212 said:


> I undersatand that. What was uncalled for is you thinking that I am presurring him into having a threesome when he brought it up.


You never once said HE brought it up originally, you said we "were talking about it". If you are that sensitive to my comments I believe I have hit a nerve. Think about it.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

reset button said:


> You never once said HE brought it up originally, you said we "were talking about it". If you are that sensitive to my comments I believe I have hit a nerve. Think about it.


Yes you did hit a nerve. I would not PRESSURE my husband into anything and later on it was asked who brought it up. The fact that you assumed that I was forcing something that I wanted on him. No! because as I stated in the thread it is something I told myself I would never do again. I only recently had second thoughts because I dont want my husband resenting me because I have done something with my ex and refuse to do it with him. We have talked about it and I explained why I would not like one and the fact that I love him more than anything. I'm not ready to share him and dont know if I will ever be ready. I expressed my feelings on both of our jealousy because we are so IN LOVE with each other and the mear thought of him/I being with someone else hurts. I told him that if this is something that he really really wanted then I would keep an open mind about it. Only because I dont want him to feel like I loved my ex more than I love him. He told me thank you and expressed that everytime he thought about it he wondered why I shut him out of the picture and that it really did hurt that I would not even give it a second thought. I asked him in his decision making to please take my thought about our jealousy in consideration. He promised he would and that it will more than likely never happen. Although he was happy that I let him know that I would do anything for him and also expressed why I shut him down the times before (thinking about the hurt it would cause the both of us) because I have been there done that. 

So I apologize if I came off as rude. That is not what I meant to do at all. 

Men truly are simple creatures... They only want to know that they are the best/ most important thing in your life.


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## reset button (Mar 14, 2012)

Marvel212 said:


> Yes you did hit a nerve. I would not PRESSURE my husband into anything and later on it was asked who brought it up. The fact that you assumed that I was forcing something that I wanted on him. No! because as I stated in the thread it is something I told myself I would never do again. I only recently had second thoughts because I dont want my husband resenting me because I have done something with my ex and refuse to do it with him. We have talked about it and I explained why I would not like one and the fact that I love him more than anything. I'm not ready to share him and dont know if I will ever be ready. I expressed my feelings on both of our jealousy because we are so IN LOVE with each other and the mear thought of him/I being with someone else hurts. I told him that if this is something that he really really wanted then I would keep an open mind about it. Only because I dont want him to feel like I loved my ex more than I love him. *He told me thank you and expressed that everytime he thought about it he wondered why I shut him out of the picture *and that it really did hurt that I would not even give it a second thought. I asked him in his decision making to please take my thought about our jealousy in consideration. He promised he would and that it will more than likely never happen. Although he was happy that I let him know that I would do anything for him and also expressed why I shut him down the times before (thinking about the hurt it would cause the both of us) because I have been there done that.
> 
> So I apologize if I came off as rude. That is not what I meant to do at all.
> 
> Men truly are simple creatures... *They only want to know that they are the best/ most important thing in your life*.


True & True.... but.. what confuses me is this....
"He told me thank you and expressed that everytime he thought about it he wondered why I shut him out of the picture" 

You shut him out on threesome because the threesome helped to ruin your first marriage, this should be obvious to him and I am confused why he would think this way. You are trying to not repeat same problem. If anythign he should be flattered that your are protecting your relationship.

Also yes, I agree they do want to know that they are the best/most imortant thing in your life, don't we all. You are affirming this by NOT agreeing to threesome.

By saying you can't share him, and him saying the same about you, is showing him he is the most important and you won't risk the slightest chance of him developing feelings for the third party.

My husband says he would never want a threesome, that is something single people do. He says it would hurt him to see me getting sexual pleasure from anyone else, even a woman, that is his job. I see it as when you have sexual contact with someone else you are giving them a "small gift of yourself", regardless of gender. If my husband gave his gift to someone else I would be crushed and it would forver hurt our intimacy.
Forsaking all others is important IMO, VERY few people can do this without cause hurt.

If you are in love, keep it that way, what you are already doing is working.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

Thats why it will probably never happen. Im ok with that and so is he. We are a young couple and he has been hurt in the past. I am also quiet older than he is. He has not expreinced nearly as much as I have. I love that about him. He just wanted to know why I wouldnt even consider it. The and only time we talked about it other than this. I was vag with the complete back story. We were having pillow talk and he asked me what I thought of threesomes I told him I'm not interested in them. He told me it was a fanasty and asked why i was not interested. I told him I had one with my ex and never want one again no matter who it was with. Which shut him up for a while. It came up again less than a week ago hinch the thread asking for advice. I opened up more to him. He would never disrespect me. That is why it will probably never happen....


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

JMO, but sounds like singles behaviour. Be careful! You've been burned once by this, and it doesn't matter who was responsible. 3's a crowd.


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## BoomHower (May 7, 2012)

Marvel listen
- I'm a very jealous man, but only from men, we have threesome before and it didn't bother me, I will only get pissed and mad and untrusted if my wife done it with a woman while I'm not there that's I consider cheating. 
- he is not going to be jealous if he is there in middle of you. 
- if he is amazing person, then this should not be a problem. 
- you have to understand that the third person only going to exist within the sex act, after that, never bring her up in regular conversations or in anyway so he does not feel obligated or have any type of suspicious in the future.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

sounds like a bad idea to me.

marriage should be only two people and almost every time I've heard about someone doing it it wrecked their marriage. so there is a risk of lossing all for some stupid fantasy.

find something else to spice things up.


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## rider (Jun 22, 2009)

Quick comments:

- Done threesomes, too much damn work. Do it once for the memory and get it over with. If the girls are not really bi, then you are the person doing all of the pleasuring, or the one receiving all the pleasure. 

BORING, it's only fun if they are really bi and you can sometimes take breaks and just watch.

- Others have asked about the jealousy but I want to know why your husbands friends talk about you sexually? That's not ok, and he should put his foot down for his woman.

Is he talking about your sex life in graphic detail? If that is cool with you then cool, otherwise when a dude shares a sexual experience about his wife, you can only say "that's hot" or "lucky man", not "she's hot", or "i'd like to hit that".


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

rider said:


> Quick comments:
> 
> - Done threesomes, too much damn work. Do it once for the memory and get it over with. If the girls are not really bi, then you are the person doing all of the pleasuring, or the one receiving all the pleasure.
> 
> ...


They see what I do for him and how much i support him. He has changed post 3 times in the past 4 months new group of people. He is in the military most guys his age are single and just wanna bang. Needless to say one guy took it too far. He was tired at work. Co-worker asked why. Stated he an interesting night (with a grin on his face) he co-worker stated if he ever needed a night off he would be more than willing to take over for him. My husband flipped on him and knocked him out with on punch. told him if he ever even so much look at me with a smile on his face he wouldnt have to worry about anything ever again. Since then he has moved bases and I see him almost every weekend and they see me. I dont dress like a **** but a classy sexy for my husband. Now he doesnt even let it get as far as a joke with his roommates.


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## Ben Connedfussed (May 4, 2012)

lamaga said:


> I wouldn't.


Lamaga is correct! Often a married couple may think this activity is a good idea. It is not. Because of crossing the threshold of fantasy and doing the actual deed, many find out is has in sorts damaged their relationship. This activity opens the door for all sorts of possibilities!

One serious question..."Are you open to the idea, per se, of an 'open' marriage?

If not, I would reject this request and negate all activities concerning the subject.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Well, you started this thread because you read other threads that men resent their wives because they did other things with their Ex's that they refuse to do with their husbands.

You were married and you had a threesome. Look what happened. The marriage ended. Now, you said that he turned into an abusive dirtbag. Okay, that's probably what ended the marriage. But, you also stated that, from the time the threesome happened, you couldn't have sex with him without her involved. Things got complicated in that department I'm guessing.

When those other threads were written, they involved blowjobs and anal. Giving something of themselves to another and not there husbands because they decided they didn't like it. 

Inviting a third party into the bedroom is usually a very bad idea. Especially if he's the jealous type. If he see's you with someone else and the other person is doing a REALLY good job on you, He may get very jealous of the sounds that you made or the reaction your body does. Not a good idea.

So, if it comes up again. I would tell him that part of why your first marriage ended was because of the threesome (even if this isn't the case) and you love him too much to ever let him go. So, you'll give up the ass and treat him like a lollypop and fulfill any other fantasy he has about you. Just tell him that you're his and his alone.

NOW! Go rape of your husband!


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

crossbar said:


> Well, you started this thread because you read other threads that men resent their wives because they did other things with their Ex's that they refuse to do with their husbands.
> 
> You were married and you had a threesome. Look what happened. The marriage ended. Now, you said that he turned into an abusive dirtbag. Okay, that's probably what ended the marriage. But, you also stated that, from the time the threesome happened, you couldn't have sex with him without her involved. Things got complicated in that department I'm guessing.
> 
> ...





For the blue text: Do you think that I should lie to my husband just to save my marriage from going down that possible rocky road?

For the red text: He has had all of me and enjoys it just as much as I do!


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Marvel212 said:


> For the blue text: Do you think that I should lie to my husband just to save my marriage from going down that possible rocky road?
> 
> For the red text: He has had all of me and enjoys it just as much as I do!


Can you HONESTLY say that it wasn't a factor in the dismise of your first marriage? I know that there was a lot of other factors. But, couldn't it have been a contributing factor?

and for your red text response.....I'm jealous of your husband....lucky bastard...


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

crossbar said:


> Can you HONESTLY say that it wasn't a factor in the dismise of your first marriage? I know that there was a lot of other factors. But, couldn't it have been a contributing factor?
> 
> and for your red text response.....I'm jealous of your husband....lucky bastard...


I think that the extent of the threesome is what might have helped. He was a dirt bag before we ever had one. I never admitted to it until later on. This whole time thinking that it was my fault and I caused him to hit me... so on and so forth. When the only sex you have for three months straight is threesomes and BJ's it is not a health relationship. The first time it was fun. Like most situations that I have later come to find out as I grew up and quit blaming my self. This is going to be TMI.... With him I only cam 3 time in our three years of marriage two of them didnt even involve him. There were much deeper rooted problems that I never noticed because I was young and nieve. I jumped into a marriage hoping that it would make him love me. Maybe he did, maybe he didnt, I know now that I never loved him for anything more than a friend. Once again I was young and dumb. I had no clue what love was and had no business being in a marriage. I eventually got tired of all the bull crap hitting, no sex, (because I told him I didnt want threesomes anymore if he could not have sex with just me then I wasnt going to have sex at all), treating me like a slave instead of a wife. So I grew the balls and left didnt blink an eye, didnt cry, and sure as HE!! dont look back. I have standards now. You cross the line and I'm done!


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Well, good for you. I hate guys that think they can beat on women and I wish more women were like you and would just leave that situation. 

So, You technically wouldn't be lying to you husband. I mean, it's obvious that the threesome didn't produce a healthy and LOVING sexual relationship, it was more problematic than anything else. It wasn't love. It was just sex and nothing more. 

I assume what you have with your current husband is a adventurous; but, loving sexual relationship. Why would you want to screw that up? 

So, (of course I'm not you) in my opinion, I don't think you would, technically, be lying to him by saying that.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

I see where your coming from... makes sense now that you explained it. Thank you!


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Stick to your guns Marvel. Just explain it to him.

My wife and I went through the whole 3rd (and 4th) party sex thing. It sounded a lot more exciting than it really was. It sounded like so much fun, and it it's way it was fun for part of the evening but our marriage almost ended over the fallout from it.

I get where your husband is coming from, he wants to experience everything with you that have have experienced without him. I think make it makes him feel you are more "his" when he gets to do the things you did in the past. Does that make any sense?

Tell him that for you to truly re-live that whole threesome thing he'd have to start hitting you too. I mean that was all part of the old relationship. He will get the picture and not think it's so great.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

Yes that makes since and thank you.


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## Ben Connedfussed (May 4, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> I really don't think this bodes well for a threesome.
> 
> What if you guys watched some porn together? Maybe some solo girl or girl-girl stuff that you two could share??


I know this 'Tri' thing does not work. What if the folks get together and on his day off... doing stuff together when she comes in... jealousy, or worse, She comes home to see the two... do not want to think about it.....................


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