# Unfaithful and Stupid



## LoveInTheTropics (Mar 13, 2012)

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost one year. its not long compared to other relationships but ive caught him planning an affair. and I consider that to be unfaithfulto me...i told him it was over and i want to leave him..but he keeps aplogizing and crying...thats the only thing keping me from walking away..ive caught him more than once...to be exact, this is the third time..and i told him that the 3rd time will be the charm..and hell never see me again...yet he keeps begging me not to leave him..i have a credit card im tryn to pay off...hes willing to help me pay it off..ive considered this and am still willing to break it off even if it means to suffer..i dont use men for their money..only their hearts...and it seems to me he cant stay with one woman without wanting to have relations with another...temptation is his weakness.


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## 1990 (Mar 3, 2012)

You say you've caught him planning an affair - what exactly do you mean? Is there emails, phone calls or what makes you say this?
If he's like that now, do you think he will ever change? No, I don't think so. This man will give a life of trouble - find someone else!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

If you hadn't caught him in time he would have cheated on you.
Especially, when you say it wasn't the 1st time that he did such thing.
I don't think he'll remain faithful to you for the rest of your life.
So you better get rid of him as soon as possible.
You are giving yourself another chance to be cheated on.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Time to take out the trash.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

You've caught him planning to cheat three times in a little less than a year. My question would be, how many times has he cheated that you didn't catch him?

This guy isn't trustworthy and either can't or won't be faithful. He sounds like a poor prospect for a good relationship, no matter how "sorry" he is when he gets caught.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

LoveInTheTropics said:


> ive caught him planning an affair. ..ive caught him more than once...to be exact, this is the third time..and i told him that the 3rd time will be the charm..and hell never see me again
> 
> ..i have a credit card im tryn to pay off...hes willing to help me pay it off



This snake needs a good dose of his own medicine. Let him help you pay off your credit card, since he's offered to do so, and kick him to the cold hard curb he deserves!  But you must cut off all contact with him, change your phone number, etc.

*THREE times in ONE year? * :scratchhead: This guy has serious issues, and you'll be much better off without him AND without that debt!


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## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

Hello 
What do you want from your situation? Do you want to continue play that game with him or work truly on your relationship or you are ready to turn the page?
I see resistance in you about taking a decision for yourself, why is that?


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

Without all the judgement, I'd see it this way. You are "wired" monogamously and your boyfriend is wired poly. You want "the one". He wants "variety". I think you should both have what you want but you can't do that with each other.


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## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

Don't use him for hid money, that will make you just as low as him. He is scum for trying to cheat on you 3 times in 1 year. He is not husband material. Fine someone else.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

Two steps to follow if he cheated thrice in one year and came back crying:

1. DO NOT WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE ON HIM :2gunsfiring_v1: Break up with him. Do not let your heart melt with the crocodile tears.

2. Thank your stars that you are not married to him. Go celebrate your breakup with some close friends and find someone better !! :toast:


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## LuvMyH (Nov 11, 2009)

You're not married. You have no children with him, right? Do not have sex with him anymore. A man that sleeps around like that is playing Russian roulette with his and your health. Get out of the relationship. Keep yourself mentally and physically healthy so that you will be ready when the right man comes along. Not all STDs can cured with penicillin.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

Were you saying he is the unfaithful one, and you are the stupid one when you wrote, "Unfaithful and Stupid?" You will be his stupid little doormat for as long as you allow him to make you that. Forget about his little bribe. You can't sell your soul to a man who wants his way in EVERY way.

You have to remember two things:

1) Who you are and what you want.
You have to set standards in your life and then live up to them. Decide what you want in a man and what you don't want. Determine for yourself what you will and will not tolerate. Determine what you will and will not do. Decide what you expect from him and what you will do if he does not live up to that. The perfect example is the multiple times you have caught him cheating or trying to cheat. Is that something you accept in a relationship? If not, then why has it taken you so many times to leave and you still have not left. He's only a boyfriend, and this is the purpose of meeting and dating.

2) The purpose of dating.
The purpose of dating is not to meet someone and decide he's it no matter how he is or how he treats you. The purpose of dating is to learn the person to see if he is the right man for you based on your standards. Without those standards, you have nothing to guide you except your emotions, which is the reason you are here talking about how much you love him and asking people what to do. It's the reason you are still with him unable to make the decision to leave.

Figure out who you are and what you want, then set standards for the way you will live your life. If you do, you will never again be a man's doormat. Making the hard decision to leave is not easy, but your standards will guide you out the door overpowering your emotions that keep you there.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

So many people are telling you to let him pay off your debt and then leave him, but I hope you won't. I can understand if you want to listen to them out of thinking it would be nice to get revenge. But, you already caught him three times and have no idea what he has done that you don't know about. The man is notorious, and you are no detective. You can't possibly know his every move. There's no telling what he will be up to while supposedly helping you pay off the debt. That could be just the time line in which you contract some terrible disease. Some deal that would be.

Besides, he surely did not offer to give you the money in one lump sum. He has designs to drag you through the mud for as long as he can. Twenty dollars at a time is not much help at all, or even to give you $100 every couple months. That's not much help either, but he can always claim he's living up to his word of trying to help, knowing he's just dragging it out to keep you around. Some deal that would be, too.

However it COULD turn out, don't sell your soul to him to begin with. Just leave now. Be a woman of substance and standards.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Do yourselves both a favor and set him free.

As for your credit card debt, did you incur the debt on your account on joint items - is this your debt or both of yours? If its just yours you will have a lot more self-respect by paying it off yourself, but if he borrowed from you then yeah he should pay it back - but don't expect him to once you break it off and definitely do not keep him just so you can pay it off, that would be a much higher cost in terms of your quality of life than the amount owing.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

River1977 said:


> So many people are telling you to let him pay off your debt and then leave him, but I hope you won't. I can understand if you want to listen to them out of thinking it would be nice to get revenge. But, you already caught him three times and have no idea what he has done that you don't know about. The man is notorious, and you are no detective. You can't possibly know his every move. There's no telling what he will be up to while supposedly helping you pay off the debt. That could be just the time line in which you contract some terrible disease. Some deal that would be.
> 
> Besides, he surely did not offer to give you the money in one lump sum. He has designs to drag you through the mud for as long as he can. Twenty dollars at a time is not much help at all, or even to give you $100 every couple months. That's not much help either, but he can always claim he's living up to his word of trying to help, knowing he's just dragging it out to keep you around. Some deal that would be, too.
> 
> However it COULD turn out, don't sell your soul to him to begin with. Just leave now. Be a woman of substance and standards.



:iagree: 
Totally agree with River1977 about the debt thing. It is not a good idea to stay with him anymore than what you already have - revenge or no revenge. You will loose respect for yourself if you were to take this money from him. As River1977 & Lon mention be a woman of substance and standards. All the money in this world cannot buy those qualities.


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## LoveInTheTropics (Mar 13, 2012)

Thats exactly his plan..when i told him we were thru his first words were, "and who will help u with ur credit card?" i just looked at him and said, "yeh, shamefully, i thought of using you to pay it off then break it off. but that is not right to do...and i would not be able to bear prolonging time around u after wht u did to me." he cried so much. but i do not believe tears any longer.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Was he peaking through his fingers to see your reaction while the water works were engaged? Frankly I don't trust men that cry TOO much. One time is acceptable but then man up and take your licks bud.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

LoveInTheTropics said:


> Thats exactly his plan..when i told him we were thru his first words were, "and who will help u with ur credit card?" i just looked at him and said, "yeh, shamefully, i thought of using you to pay it off then break it off. but that is not right to do...and i would not be able to bear prolonging time around u after wht u did to me." he cried so much. but i do not believe tears any longer.


It was a wise decision to break up with him and not have him pay for your debt.


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