# Thoughts on talking to OW



## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

My husband is in the middle of a midlife crisis and has been having an affair for almost 2 months (that I know of). I have been fighting myself to not go see her and talk to her. I would have lost the fight if she lived closer, but she is 4 hours away. I probably don't think like most people about the other person. I don't blame her and I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at my husband. She didn't make any promises to me or take marriage vows with me and doesn't owe me anything. That's all on my husband. I would just like to see her. To sit down with her and just ask her CALMLY if she is aware that he's married, and if she cares? Is that information that she already has? Would it make a difference to her? How many of you have talked to your spouses affair partner? How did it go? Did it change anything? How did your spouse react when they found out?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Can you just send her an email?


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Can you just send her an email?


I don't know her. I kept seeing her phone # on the phone bill and did a reverse search on it. All I know is her name and home address, I don't know her email address. When I saw the name, I remembered that she was someone my husband had mentioned knowing years ago. And, no, I would not go to her home address. I would have to meet her somewhere if I decided to talk to her.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Heartbroken in Texas said:


> My husband is in the middle of a midlife crisis and has been having an affair for almost 2 months (that I know of). I have been fighting myself to not go see her and talk to her. I would have lost the fight if she lived closer, but she is 4 hours away. I probably don't think like most people about the other person. I don't blame her and I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at my husband. She didn't make any promises to me or take marriage vows with me and *doesn't owe me anything*. That's all on my husband. I would just like to see her. To sit down with her and just ask her CALMLY if she is aware that he's married, and if she cares? Is that information that she already has? Would it make a difference to her? How many of you have talked to your spouses affair partner? How did it go? Did it change anything? How did your spouse react when they found out?


This is not completely accurate. If we chose to live in a societal environment and to avail ourselves of the benefits of such, then we are under a certain obligation to acknowledge and adhere to certain societal norms. One such area is that of interaction and involvement with persons of the opposite sex who are in committed relationships. You indicated that she may not know his marital status but, in this age of available technology, ignorance is not an excuse. In fact, to not verify the background of any prospective suitor is a sign of considerable negligence on her part.


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## ivory (Oct 23, 2015)

Hey Heartbroken,
The problem with going to talk to her (if she tells you the truth) is that you may learn some sad truths from the conversation. So if you do this you need to be ready. Have a close friend on standby for a phone call after the conversation, have an appointment with a counselor already set up for soon after. 

Remind yourself that life will bring its joy regardless of your H or anyone else. Detach best you can... you are just looking for information to facilitate making informed decisions for your future. I know that's not possible... the love of your life and all.


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

ivory said:


> Hey Heartbroken,
> The problem with going to talk to her (if she tells you the truth) is that you may learn some sad truths from the conversation.
> 
> 
> you are just looking for information to facilitate making informed decisions for your future.



I already know that he talks to her on the phone A LOT, and that he goes to see her when he doesn't have to work. I'm pretty sure they're doing it. What could she possibly tell me that would hurt more than the thought of him smiling at her, holding her, and having sex with her? I already can't get that out of my mind and I think about it all the time. I sit here with my heart ripped out and he gets to go down there and screw her and be happy. 

I could be totally wrong because I haven't always been completely honest with MYSELF, but I don't think I'm really looking for information from her. I mean, I wouldn't really be able to trust or believe anything she tells me. Her goal, as I perceive it, is to take my husband from me. I really just want to SEE HER and talk to her. I want to see what it is about her that is so stinking special that my husband is willing to throw ME away for HER. And, if she doesn't know that he's married, perhaps it would actually make a difference to her. Who knows.


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

Heartbroken in Texas said:


> I already know that he talks to her on the phone A LOT, and that he goes to see her when he doesn't have to work. I'm pretty sure they're doing it. What could she possibly tell me that would hurt more than the thought of him smiling at her, holding her, and having sex with her?


You could actually learn quite a bit that you didn't really want to know. It's natural for you to be curious. It just a response to the feelings of rejection that you are feeling. Depending on what you find, the images running through your head can get worse. Some details are just not beneficial for you to know. 

Have you addressed the situation with your husband yet?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Does your husband know that you know? Are you hoping if you talk to her she'll break off the affair? Have you confronted him?


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

thebirdman said:


> You could actually learn quite a bit that you didn't really want to know. It's natural for you to be curious. It just a response to the feelings of rejection that you are feeling. Depending on what you find, the images running through your head can get worse. Some details are just not beneficial for you to know.
> 
> Have you addressed the situation with your husband yet?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I just can't imagine myself asking her any specific questions or her divulging anything that's extremely personal. Of course, if she's just trying to upset me, I guess she could just tell me whatever she thinks will do the trick.

I have confronted my husband about it. He claims that they're "just tallking." I'm not exactly sure why he thinks I'm going to believe that! I have told him repeatedly that I know more than he thinks I do. He responds "You don't know as much as you think you do." Sigh.... Yes, I do! I asked him if SHE know's that he's married. He didn't respond which is normal for him. He no longer answers any of my questions. So, I asked again. Still no response. That was about a week and a half ago. Haven't seen or talked to him lately.


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

Starstarfish said:


> Does your husband know that you know? Are you hoping if you talk to her she'll break off the affair? Have you confronted him?


Yes, that would be nice, and yes.

I know that the chances of her breaking it off would be SLIM, so I don't hold out much hope of that. And, I have no idea what his reaction to that would be. I'm pretty sure he would not be happy!


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

How long will you live in limbo?


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

how about hefty bagging his crap and not letting him in the house til he dumps chicky-poo? Why are you standing for this? You already know he's having an affair. Why do you need to talk to her? 

For the record, I talked to OW2 and she told me more that he wouldn't have admitted to.
However, I'd confront him first.


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

ivory said:


> Hey Heartbroken,
> The problem with going to talk to her (if she tells you the truth) is that you may learn some sad truths from the conversation. So if you do this you need to be ready. Have a close friend on standby for a phone call after the conversation, have an appointment with a counselor already set up for soon after.
> 
> Remind yourself that life will bring its joy regardless of your H or anyone else. Detach best you can... you are just looking for information to facilitate making informed decisions for your future. I know that's not possible... the love of your life and all.


Really good post. I don't think it would do any good to talk to her. I haven't read your whole thread but I will. For now I would say avoid talking to her. H told me about his infidelity in July of 2008 (July 4, to be exact), and in November I got a call from him, out of the blue, on a Saturday morning. He's been arrested for DUI Halloween night. He wanted me to bail him AND her out. We had a few phone calls back and forth and he told me her name. While we were talking she showed up with a bail bondsman. She got on the phone and I told her that he had recently experienced a physical health issue and his mental health was being treated by his doctor, but she didn't care. All she cared about was how manly he was because he got upset at the party with some men who were hitting on her. 

She's twenty years younger than him and about the emotional equivalent of a 12-year-old. There are all kinds of things that could happen that will hurt you seriously AND you'll be giving her ammunition to tell your h that he's right, you're a crazy banshee. I couldn't believe some of the things my h had said to her, and I was STUNNED at the degree to which he was lying. I'd known him 11 years before we married, but she told me he said that while we'd been married a little over two years at this point, he'd only known me for one prior to the marriage and rushed into it. 

See what I mean? Now, I know that is MY h I'm talking about, but the same kind of rewriting stories and inventing issues with the marriage that don't exist are a hallmark of MLC, so if he's truly in one, you probably DON'T want to find out what he's been saying to her, and even if you do, you're not likely to change her mind. I suppose it is possible, but honestly, the kind of women men pick up in MLC means that you're not necessarily going to be dealing with a rational or even decent woman.


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

NoChoice said:


> This is not completely accurate. If we chose to live in a societal environment and to avail ourselves of the benefits of such, then we are under a certain obligation to acknowledge and adhere to certain societal norms. One such area is that of interaction and involvement with persons of the opposite sex who are in committed relationships. You indicated that she may not know his marital status but, in this age of available technology, ignorance is not an excuse. In fact, to not verify the background of any prospective suitor is a sign of considerable negligence on her part.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Sorry for what you are going through but you are not going to save your marriage by ***** footing around or contacting the OW. You should be scorching the earth under your WH's a$$ !!

How old are you both?
Kids? ages?
Are you financially independent?
If you were to divorce can you get half the assets?

Give him afire at home that will keep him busy

Start the usual drill you see here but first get evidence, you have confronted too early
Get a VAR put in his car to hear their conversations
Get a PI to follow them take photos ex

One you have evidence blow up his world and hers, expose to all and sundry, including any older kids you have
Once the dirt little secret is out in the open it won't be as exciting
Go see a lawyer and see how you can take him to the cleaners
File the papers, you don't have to go thru with it

That will keep him busy and just might save your marriage

Pining for him, taking his terrible behaviour will not show him you have respect for yourself and follow through


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Heartbroken in Texas

I'm on the fence with this and probably for not what you are thinking. You should be angry with OW, she is dating a married person. OW is invading YOUR family unit, that deserves an aggressive response in my opinion. OW may not have taken vows to you but it is up to the MARRIED to protect the marriage. Allowing someone to invade should be given an act of war response by you. 

You have stated you want to speak to her calmly, why? Should you not be issuing a stern warning to her to stay away from your family? I met the OM twice, he is a coward and not worth my time. Beating him senseless would take little effort. Staying out of jail would take money and a huge amount of my time. In other words OM isn't worth it, he is a poor excuse for a human being. 

Let's say you do meet her, what is her impression of you now? What if she knows he's married? What if she says her goal is to take your husband? What if she says she doesn't care if you're destroyed? What if she says you should have been a better wife to keep your husband? What if she says you can't make him happy like she can? What if she laughs in your face and says you're pathetic? So many things can go against you. 

Your husband and the OW may now see you as weak and desperate. This is not how you want them to perceive you. I can't support you to meet with this person aggressively, even though my opinion is this is how it should be handled. 

Confronting made me feel better about myself in the moment. A deep regret I have now is not beating him senseless, I am from the old school. So I can't honestly tell you confronting is great as I do have this regret. I could have lost all that I worked for in less then six minutes, but I would have no regret. Instead, I have what I worked for. 

Heartbroken, you need to take a firm stance with your husband. You need to do the 180 and give him the impression you are done. He may or may not come back to the marriage, but you can't remain living the way you are now. Focus on yourself, get therapy, become the best you can be. Realize that you are fighting for the marriage but it takes two, not one. Until it's two, and it may not ever be two, work on yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Yes, the day I discovered their affair, I called his office as she was his sec'y. 

I asked, "Are you having an affair with my husband?" 

She laughed at me and said, "Do you blame him for cheating on you?" and then she hung up on me.

She had/has balls the size of Mississippi. 

Fast forward 7 years later, our divorce is almost done and he is still with her.


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

VeryHurt said:


> Yes, the day I discovered their affair, I called his office as she was his sec'y.
> 
> I asked, "Are you having an affair with my husband?"
> 
> ...


Yeah, sad to say, Heartbroken, THAT'S a likely response.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

VeryHurt said:


> Yes, the day I discovered their affair, I called his office as she was his sec'y.
> 
> I asked, "Are you having an affair with my husband?"
> 
> ...




Veryhurt

And in about three years you can call her again, but this time you can tell her he is cheating on her. Then you can say do you blame him and hang up. You are the better person here veryhurt, you are the one with a moral compass. You are the one who honored their vows, and you are the one with solid character. This OW has nothing, had nothing to begin with, and will most likely leave this earth with nothing. You have everything. Never lose sight of what a good person you are.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

drifting on said:


> Veryhurt
> 
> And in about three years you can call her again, but this time you can tell her he is cheating on her. Then you can say do you blame him and hang up. You are the better person here veryhurt, you are the one with a moral compass. You are the one who honored their vows, and you are the one with solid character. This OW has nothing, had nothing to begin with, and will most likely leave this earth with nothing. You have everything. Never lose sight of what a good person you are.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Drifting On
Thank you for your kind words.
VH


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

farsidejunky said:


> How long will you live in limbo?


? ? I have no specific time in mind. I want my marriage to work out and I'm not ready to give up yet. tired of the constant pain though. I went to see him again tonight (haven't seen him in 8 days). I was much stronger this time. Didn't even cry while I was there. Started to tear up, but regained my composure and was very proud of myself for being able to do that! He did tell me that when he opened the door he wasn't happy to see that it was me. That's always lovely to hear. I didn't try to sit by him or touch him and only stayed for about an hour. ALL of those things are progress for me. And, when he told me that he thinks it's too late for us to work things out, I told him that I know he feels that way and told him I am sorry he's having such a hard time figuring things out right now. I tried to be very no confrontational, understanding and agreeable which was VERY hard for me considering that he's cheating on me. Now if I can just implement the 180 and start working on ME.


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

stephscarlett said:


> how about hefty bagging his crap and not letting him in the house til he dumps chicky-poo? Why are you standing for this? You already know he's having an affair. Why do you need to talk to her?
> Wq
> For the record, I talked to OW2 and she told me more that he wouldn't have admitted to.
> However, I'd confront him first.


We are already separated so no need to bag anything up. 

I did already confront him. He has only 2 answers to answer any question I have. 1) We're just friends, and 2) What difference does it make. Personally, #2 is my favorite. Makes me mad every time he says it!! Why not just tell the truth and say I'M NOT TELLING YOU. I haven't asked him anything specific about her other than than if he has seen her in person and if she knows he's married. He did answer that he has seen her, but only admits to talking to her for a few minutes when he saw her. That was early on. Then he started the "what difference does it make." UGH! 

Did you talk to the OW in person or on the phone? What did she tell you? And, how did you know she wasn't lying? Some days I just want to drive down to see her and other days I worry that it will just make it worse. I know that I'm not thinking as clearly as I normally would, so I'm afraid to trust my judgement when it comes to my hubby or to her. I just really want to know if he has told her that he's married and find out if that even makes a difference to her. I would like to know what he has told her about his life up here where he lives. What does SHE think is going on??


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

aine said:


> How old are you both?
> Kids? ages?
> Are you financially independent?
> If you were to divorce can you get half the assets?
> ...


He just turned 50 and I'm 47. We both have children but none together. They range in age between 18 and 27 yrs old. We are separated and my kids live with me, his have both moved out. I am financially independant and already support myself and my children with no help from him at all. If we were to divorce, and I pray to God that doesn't happen, there are really no assets to get half of and what is there, he can have. I don't really care anything about that. And, as we don't live together, I don't really have access any longer to put VAR anywhere. And, there is nothing to fight about if we divorced so not even sure it would matter. Also not sure how I would be able to affect them at all. Other than telling MY family and our kids, who else would I tell? He doesn't keep in contact with his family and I don't know anyone that he works with (he's a truck driver). I don't know her at all and would have no idea how to contact her family or friends....and she's not married so unfortunately there is no husband that I can inform. 

"Give him afire at home that will keep him busy" ?? Not sure what you mean unless you're saying that if I cause chaos for him he won't have time for her.


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

VeryHurt said:


> Yes, the day I discovered their affair, I called his office as she was his sec'y.
> 
> I asked, "Are you having an affair with my husband?"
> 
> ...


I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine dealing with that for 7 years . Are you doing okay? Did your divorce take 7 years because you were waiting for him to come back to you? Did you guys still live together? Was he going through a MLC also? Has he shown any remourse at all? Again, I am sorry. It sounds like you have really been through it.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

OP, if you have the number why not just confront her on the phone?

After the confront to her I would tell your husband you contacted her. Tell him this is going to be simple and either he removes her from his life entirely or the marriage is done. And don't look back. If you do, he'll never stop with her.

Don't chase him. Keep your self-respect.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I wouldnotvisit her unless she agrees to it. Otherwise, she may accuse you of stalking / harassing her.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Heartbroken in Texas said:


> ? ? I have no specific time in mind. I want my marriage to work out and I'm not ready to give up yet. tired of the constant pain though. I went to see him again tonight (haven't seen him in 8 days). I was much stronger this time. Didn't even cry while I was there. Started to tear up, but regained my composure and was very proud of myself for being able to do that! He did tell me that when he opened the door he wasn't happy to see that it was me. That's always lovely to hear. I didn't try to sit by him or touch him and only stayed for about an hour. ALL of those things are progress for me. And, when he told me that he thinks it's too late for us to work things out, I told him that I know he feels that way and told him I am sorry he's having such a hard time figuring things out right now. I tried to be very no confrontational, understanding and agreeable which was VERY hard for me considering that he's cheating on me. Now if I can just implement the 180 and start working on ME.


Let him go. I'm sorry, HiT...


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Heartbroken in Texas said:


> He just turned 50 and I'm 47. We both have children but none together. They range in age between 18 and 27 yrs old. We are separated and my kids live with me, his have both moved out. I am financially independant and already support myself and my children with no help from him at all. If we were to divorce, and I pray to God that doesn't happen, there are really no assets to get half of and what is there, he can have. I don't really care anything about that. And, as we don't live together, I don't really have access any longer to put VAR anywhere. And, there is nothing to fight about if we divorced so not even sure it would matter. Also not sure how I would be able to affect them at all. Other than telling MY family and our kids, who else would I tell? He doesn't keep in contact with his family and I don't know anyone that he works with (he's a truck driver). I don't know her at all and would have no idea how to contact her family or friends....and she's not married so unfortunately there is no husband that I can inform.
> 
> "Give him afire at home that will keep him busy" ?? Not sure what you mean unless you're saying that if I cause chaos for him he won't have time for her.


I'm really sorry to say this, but he's gone. He does not love you any more. Even if the other woman dumps him he'd probably not come back to you for anything other than some sex.

On the other hand you are lucky. You are independent and you don't NEED him. Leaving him will make you feel sh***y for a while but as the days pass you will feel better and better.

Yes, he stabbed you in the heart. But you aren't dead, just wounded.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Be careful when confronting. She may be hateful and spiteful.

My BFF confronted her husbands OW. 

My bffs husband has some serious anxiety and depression issues and has a degree of ED. Not always, but sometimes it just won't stand up.

He takes (I think Cialis) for it.

When my BFF confronted her, she said "well all *I* know is, he doesn't HAVE to take a pill to get it up for ME"

I can't imagine hearing something so hurtful.

I'm honestly surprised my BFF didn't rip her face off. I would've.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

He's gone!!! Please just let him go and protect yourself. Dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Based on your latest piece of information, I think you are flogging a dead horse. YOu are already separated, he is not interested in seeing you or visiting your or making the marriage work at all. 

May I ask what were the circumstances surrounding your separation?

i think it is very clear he has left the marriage and does not want a future with you and you have to reconcile yourself to this.
Have some respect for yourself, you do not need him in your life, it is painful but you can and must move on.
I would suggest you get yourself a good lawyer and start seeing how to proceed with divorce. 
Are you financially self sufficient or dependent on him?

Contacting the OW is now irrelevant, there will be lots of OW.


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## Heartbroken in Texas (Nov 12, 2015)

aine said:


> May I ask what were the circumstances surrounding your separation?
> 
> i think it is very clear he has left the marriage and does not want a future with you and you have to reconcile yourself to this.
> Have some respect for yourself, you do not need him in your life, it is painful but you can and must move on.
> ...


We separated because he was VERY controlling, jealous, emotionally abusive and had anger issues. Also, we were trying to blend our families together (6 kids between us) and it just didn't work well. I thought if we had time apart, he would realize that I was important enough to him and he would try to chanage his behavior. Instead, all he did was got resentful of the fact that I wasn't there. MANY of the origional problems aren't even issues anymore because most of the kids are out of the houses now. We have been separated for an extended period of time and yet he still wanted to see me and have a future with me up until 2 months ago. About a week before he told me that he needed "space," I caught him driving by my apartment to see if I came home after I left his house. I saw him do this a few times, and I'm sure he did it WAY more than I ever knew about. How do you go from caring about someone's whereabouts one week to never wanting to see them again the next? And, yes, you don't have to tell me that being jealous and obsessive are NOT good traits in a husband. I am already aware of his faults. When I see him, he tears up and doesn't want to be around me because it's too hard for him. Does that sound like he doesn't love me? He admits that he's afraid to trust me because he's afraid that I will leave him again. He also does some blame shifting that I recognize, but that doesn't mean that some of what he says isn't true. Does it? Clearly he has LEFT the marriage...he's cheating on me. 

Yes, I am financially able to take care of myself and my kids. I've been doing it the entire time we've been separated and my husband does not help me at all. 

Contacting the OW is not irrelevant at this point. She's still the woman that he's comforting, spending time with, smiling at, screwing, buying things for, etc while I sit here and cry because he doesn't want me around. This is devastating to me. I am so tired of the pain and emptiness. 

I know that everyone on here keeps telling me to give up and move on. I get it. Really, I do. I'm just not ready. I'm just not. I have loved him and been married to him for almost 10 years and I need more than 7 weeks to get over it and decide to throw in the towel. There is nothing wrong with me wanting to save my marriage. 7 weeks ago everything was "normal" (for us anyway), and the next day he pulled the rug out from under me and turned my entire world upside down. I'm having a hard time even thinking straight, and I just can't wrap my mind around get a divorce and walk away. Not all marriages with infidelity end in divorce or have repeated affairs within the marriage. I want to be one of THOSE! Is that really too much to ask for?


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

Heartbroken in Texas said:


> Did you talk to the OW in person or on the phone? What did she tell you? And, how did you know she wasn't lying? Some days I just want to drive down to see her and other days I worry that it will just make it worse. I know that I'm not thinking as clearly as I normally would, so I'm afraid to trust my judgement when it comes to my hubby or to her. I just really want to know if he has told her that he's married and find out if that even makes a difference to her. I would like to know what he has told her about his life up here where he lives. What does SHE think is going on??


Yes, I called the day after I found them together in the park and asked her questions. What she told me I asked hubby and he admitted to it. 
Ha - then I called her hubby and ratted her out. He said it was her third affair.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Heartbroken in Texas said:


> We separated because he was VERY controlling, jealous, emotionally abusive and had anger issues. Also, we were trying to blend our families together (6 kids between us) and it just didn't work well. I thought if we had time apart, he would realize that I was important enough to him and he would try to chanage his behavior. Instead, all he did was got resentful of the fact that I wasn't there. MANY of the origional problems aren't even issues anymore because most of the kids are out of the houses now. We have been separated for an extended period of time and yet he still wanted to see me and have a future with me up until 2 months ago. About a week before he told me that he needed "space," I caught him driving by my apartment to see if I came home after I left his house. I saw him do this a few times, and I'm sure he did it WAY more than I ever knew about. How do you go from caring about someone's whereabouts one week to never wanting to see them again the next? And, yes, you don't have to tell me that being jealous and obsessive are NOT good traits in a husband. I am already aware of his faults. When I see him, he tears up and doesn't want to be around me because it's too hard for him. Does that sound like he doesn't love me? He admits that he's afraid to trust me because he's afraid that I will leave him again. He also does some blame shifting that I recognize, but that doesn't mean that some of what he says isn't true. Does it? Clearly he has LEFT the marriage...he's cheating on me.
> 
> Yes, I am financially able to take care of myself and my kids. I've been doing it the entire time we've been separated and my husband does not help me at all.
> 
> ...


Divorce is rarely pain free. It is rare that two people decide that it is all over, split their possessions, leave, and have no pain at all.

My advice is to remind yourself that it takes two to make a marriage. He doesn't want to be married to you any more. There is little you can do about that.

Oh yes, you might wait and hope that your husband and the OW break up. That happens a lot. He might then come back to you so he can have some home-cooked meals and sex. But you know he'll leave again as soon as he finds somebody else.

There is a mountain (the divorce) between you and happiness. You have to climb the mountain. On the other side of the mountain is the valley of happiness. That's where you want to be. But you have to climb the mountain. Folks here will help you do it. They've been through it and know the ground.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Yeah he sounds like bad news. Move on!! Dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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