# Sex Question/Poll



## J.deere (Jul 8, 2015)

Just curious............ Except for quickies , after sex what do you and your so typically do? I find that after sex my wife gets up and goes does what ever. I've asked her to hang out for a while maybe cuddle or hang out for a few but she doesn't . it seems the situation is reversed here. Isn't the man suppose to be the one that doesn't hang to cuddle ? 


Also, when your wife initiates does she ask you if you want to have sex or a bj or does she just send you the message some other way???

I thinking asking "do you want to have sex now" makes it less attractive. 

May be I'm being picky or may be these are just continued signs of our many problems right now.


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## VixNz (Jun 22, 2015)

We usually just roll over a fnd go to sleep. We used to cuddle...

It's usually not verbel for us, he cuddle me every night I'm always ready and waiting, when he wands it...I know


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## J.deere (Jul 8, 2015)

He is a lucky man. "Ready and waiting ". I'm jealous


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## life_huppens (Jun 3, 2015)

VixNz said:


> We usually just roll over a fnd go to sleep. We used to cuddle...
> 
> It's usually not verbel for us, he cuddle me every night I'm always ready and waiting, when he wands it...I know


Indeed, he is a lucky man. In our case we after the fact, we kiss, hug, and cuddle for a few minutes, and then roll over and go to sleep.


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## VixNz (Jun 22, 2015)

J.deere said:


> He is a lucky man. "Ready and waiting ". I'm jealous


 Have you tried to just..hold her?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Depends on when/where and what type of encounter we have had. We have sex pretty much every night and ALWAYS cuddle to sleep afterwards. If it is a daytime event then it depends on what else we have going on that day, if kids are home or will be home soon, we will have a quick cuddle and then get up or a long, lazy cuddle and nap. Less quickies here these days for us is probably a getting older thing although a few mornings a week we will have sex in the morning and get up, shower and get ready for the day together.

If the cuddling were to disappear I would see it as a sign of problems in our relationship. Sounds like you have other issues going on OP, what are they? Did you ever have a close and affectionate sex life and if so why did things change?


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## J.deere (Jul 8, 2015)

I'm working on discovering why. But I don't think she loves me anymore. She is also dealing with her own personal problems that should have been done 20 years ago before we met by counseling. I'm in a bad time in my marriage and life. I'm really feeling down right now. We just started counseling so we shall see. But I'm really unhappy and miserable and feel myself sliding toward depression. Its effecting me constantly this empty feeling of despair. I don't know if this means we are heading for divorce or not. Still going to try a bit longer


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I'm really sorry to hear that OP. Get some help with the potential depression, don't let it take over your life, sounds like no matter which way your marriage goes you are going to need a lot of inner strength.


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## stevehowefan (Apr 3, 2013)

The wife and I don't do the cuddle thing after sex. We usually do that before hand. Usually, we just clean up after the act. I feel ya though. I too want an emotional connection wife; some people manifest that emotional connection differently.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

We cuddle until we fall asleep at night or if the morning we cuddle, and then get up together. We have to schedule sex because he has to take a shot so in the morning I might ask him if he wants to have fun tonight so he is prepared. It's not real sexy or romantic but that's the way it is.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I loathe cuddling. Mr. Giro is indifferent to it so it works out for us. He usually falls asleep right after, I'm actually energized and need to get up to do something.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
We usually cuddle for a long time afterwards - and may or not fall asleep in each others arms.

My wife knows that I am always interested, so generally she wears something more alluring than usual, and doesn't reject my advances


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

If its a quickie, we both go downstairs, talk and watch tv.

If its a longer sex session, we cuddle until she gets too hot and then I roll over and we go to sleep.

Since my wife has a low sex drive, her main love languages is not physical and that means she doesn't like cuddling, hugs, kisses and massages as much as I like to give her. I am HD and very physical.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*One word answer: "Cuddle"~ until we either fall asleep in each others arms, or decide if we can try to make Round 2 even better than Round 1!

In my book, a woman who refuses to cuddle without just cause after sex just ain't worth having!

And the only real exception to the "cuddle rule" is if we have had "a quickie" and just don't have the necessary time allocated for it!*


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Cuddle. Nap. Round 2. Then TV, read, or sleep - unless it's a morning session, then coffee!


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

J.deere said:


> I'm working on discovering why. But I don't think she loves me anymore. She is also dealing with her own personal problems that should have been done 20 years ago before we met by counseling. I'm in a bad time in my marriage and life. I'm really feeling down right now. We just started counseling so we shall see. But I'm really unhappy and miserable and feel myself sliding toward depression. Its effecting me constantly this empty feeling of despair. I don't know if this means we are heading for divorce or not. Still going to try a bit longer


My wife had issues from before we met, I just read this link today, does it perhaps fit your situation?

https://shrink4men.wordpress.com/20...u-the-fear-of-loss-and-the-need-for-approval/

Something about your post struck a chord with me. my story - http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/204514-what-do-i-do-am-i-unreasonable.html

My wife didn't want to cuddle after sex either, now, about 2 years after I drew a line in the sand, we usually take naked naps afterwards. She also didn't want to kiss, take showers together, etc.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

What is your wife's issue from 20 years ago? This may have a huge impact on her sexuality, touching, etc, depending what happened in the past.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

OMG, after sex I like a good back rub and back scratch. Almost as good a sex itself but very different. It is almost like having a relaxation orgasm.


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## sexy (Jul 29, 2012)

we cuddle until we need to sleep.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

My wife likes Spanish sex........nada.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

If I did a good job my wife goes to sleep pretty quick.
I go eat something. For some strange reason I am starving after sex.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Normally she wants me to go check on the kids to make sure they're still alive after having our door closed for 20 minutes.


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## ticktock33 (Jun 6, 2014)

Thor said:


> What is your wife's issue from 20 years ago? This may have a huge impact on her sexuality, touching, etc, depending what happened in the past.


Thor is right, I don't think it is necessarily that she doesn't love you. It could be whatever the issue was traumatic enough that she can't help but want to run away. 

Do you ever talk about what happened? It would be well worth going to a therapist with her to see what is wrong. Don't give up yet!


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

99% of the sex my wife and I have is on a Saturday or Sunday morning. Sex for my wife is like a caffeine shot... as soon as she's finished she's out of bed doing stuff. For me I like to roll over and take about a 15 minute nap.

She really doesn't initiate. I know it won't happen any other time so when Saturday morning comes I ask her straight out for some intimacy.


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