# Wife's Annoying Friend



## otayman (Sep 20, 2013)

My wife has her female BFF. Sometimes it is all she talks about. They plan "girl's nights" and all that stuff which is fine. However sometimes it gets to be a bit much. My wife tells her friend about all our arguments and that really annoys me. Even to the point I feel uncomfortable around her friend. Has anyone else had to deal with something like this?


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

My ex wife was like that, but with her sister. She knew everything about me, us, our relationship, you name it. (and I mean everything...) I suppose her sister knowing all that was better than some friend of hers, but still.

Conversely, my current wife doesn't talk to any of her friends about me or us.

The irony is that I wish she did sometimes. Having somebody to talk to who isn't your spouse isn't a bad thing, but you have to filter and not tell them absolutely everything...

In terms of having a friend who she talked about all the time - yes, she had that too (my ex wife). And yes, it got annoying. Sometimes people will really latch on to someone else like that. It's all good in my books, everybody needs a good friend. Just ensure that this friend isn't only hearing negative things and they don't gang up on you at some point. When you start hearing things like "Jane told me she wouldn't stand for this" blah blah blah, you're in trouble.

I think it's fairly common, though. I wouldn't worry about it too much, unless it's only the negative things she's blabbing about.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

is her BFF hot?


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

My W will talk with her cousin about me(in a tiff or whatever). I could care any less. It is place for her to vent. Not that she needs to vent a whole lot. But she is there if needed. I don't care what her cousin thinks about me. She knows H/W have arguments. She vents to my W. Meh...I don't even think about it really.


----------



## BWBill (Jan 30, 2013)

Depends upon the friend. If they are a friend of the marriage and helping to resolve issues they can be helpful. If they are only a friend to one spouse and supportive of that spouse against the other then they are no friend of the marriage and are destructive.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

alexm said:


> My ex wife was like that, but with her sister. She knew everything about me, us, our relationship, you name it. (and I mean everything...) I suppose her sister knowing all that was better than some friend of hers, but still.
> 
> Conversely, my current wife doesn't talk to any of her friends about me or us.
> 
> ...


Alot of them do that. On the radio a lady was talking about dating an relationships and said "we tell our girlfriends everything"


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

BWBill said:


> Depends upon the friend. If they are a friend of the marriage and helping to resolve issues they can be helpful. If they are only a friend to one spouse and supportive of that spouse against the other then they are no friend of the marriage and are destructive.


It's this simple. They are usually devisive and enabling your spouse doing things that would not make you happy. Or they are usually helping you out behind your back.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Doesn't sound like her friend can be held fully responsible for your wife's behavior. If I was you I would smack up your wife, not her friend (not literally  )


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Both my wife and I talk pretty frankly with our best friends about each other and our marriage.

But if there was some information I really didn't want out there, I could ask her to keep it to herself and she wouldn't hesitate.

We do not bad mouth each other to our friends. Ever.


----------



## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

otayman said:


> I've just reached the my one year anniversary. While dating my wife and early in the marriage we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Now she is complaining of a low libido and we have sex less frequently. I am trying not to take it personally...



You may want to think about STARTING to take it personally.

You wrote that about 8 months ago. So what has your wife done to fix it since then? Did she talk to you about it? Did you discuss other ways you can be intimate while she figures out her "libido problem"? Has she tried to get closer to you to rekindle the spark? Gone to the doctor to try to figure out the problem?



otayman said:


> My wife tells her friend about all our arguments and that really annoys me. Even to the point I feel uncomfortable around her friend.


OK, I'm going to take some editorial license here and presume that these are closer to beotch sessions about you than "discussions" about your marriage? Is that a little closer? I doubt her complaints are of the "I'm such a beotch to my wonderful husband who doesn't deserve this" variety. Safe assumption?

And this: 



otayman said:


> They plan "girl's nights" and all that stuff which is fine.


Sorry to have to presume again, but your posts are short on details. I'm guessing these GNO's are not Saturday evenings with the church group putting together charity food baskets for the poor.

So your wife has a problem in her marriage, and instead of working on it, gets all dolled up for a night out with her toxic friend (I felt it a little more appropriate than BFF) at places better known for hooking-up than working on a marriage. All while complaining about what an a*s you are. While a whole bunch of perfect men who are NOT a*sses to their women show keen interest in her. 

GO to the search box and search for "ILYBINILWY", That will get you started. Then closely follow threads where men were shocked...SHOCKED to find out their wives don't love them. Hadn't for years. 

Please don't take my one post as a sign of inexperience. I've posted on other forums in the past and lurked here for a while before joining. You may be in more trouble than you think, my friend. Prepare yourself.

And I'd REALLY like to know the answer to this, although possibly not for the same reason as Murphy. And how about your wife? Two hot chicks with problems in their marriages hitting the meat markets? Watch-out boys!



murphy5 said:


> is her BFF hot?


Might not hurt to do a little spying on those GNO's. I can guarantee it will be an education.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I remember dealing with this sort of thing when we were in our teens.

Talk to your wife. Tell her that you MUST be her priority in life and not her friend.

Also set standards on what you would prefer that she shared/not share with her friend.

TO ME, ALL of our life is personal and she should not be discussion any personal details with "friends". Besides, she should know that accomplishes NOTHING anyways. Spilling your personals to friends/family = scar for LIFE. It doesn't go away.

Perhaps you should teach her above?


----------



## otayman (Sep 20, 2013)

MachoMcoy ,

Her GNO are about once a month or every other month. Besides that we spend just about all our time together. So if she's cheating I am not sure where she would find the time. Unless she's taking lunch breaks. I have also seen the facebook group messages of her and her friends planning GNO. It's quite a complex process getting them all together. To answer her question her friend is not hot. They are both in their early forties and couldn't really picture them as clubbers. I doubt she's having a fling once a month but who knows.

She is a very chatty person. She's told me stuff her BFF friend says about husband and she's shared that her BFF had an abortion. She doesn't have a filter sometime. So I feel self conscious around her friend and get annoyed when I hear all the details about her BFF. 

Thanks for the viewpoint. If she is out of love or cheating I guess that would be a whole nother problem set !


----------



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

otayman said:


> My wife has her female BFF. Sometimes it is all she talks about. They plan "girl's nights" and all that stuff which is fine. However sometimes it gets to be a bit much. My wife tells her friend about all our arguments and that really annoys me. Even to the point I feel uncomfortable around her friend. Has anyone else had to deal with something like this?


Just roll with it. If it's good for your wife, its good for you.


----------

