# Today I was getting angry because my wife is dumb



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Now let me just get this out of the way. My wife _is_ dumb. She is. She knows it. I know it. This is not some secret between us or something she is not aware of. She could not go to college, but to barely scrape by. She is never going to pass Algebra II, she is never going to understand allegory, she is never going to be the sharper tool in the shed. She's the hammer. And this is totally fine. Neither of us were under any delusions when we met. Actually if there were any delusional parties it was I. She repeatedly told me, apologized to me, and acknowledged this. I had her take an IQ test and it was mildly above the normie average, which was good enough for me. That combined with her self knowledge, and hence focusing her life on becoming instagram pretty. And then aiming for an older established man who would accept a girl who really just isn't that bright, but who gives him her youth, beauty, and another family.

So no none of this is new news over here and we've been together now for several years.

But today I was getting very angry at how dumb she is. I suffered a temporarily crippling illness and have been repeatedly hospitalized over the past month. I have been incapacitated. I have not been able to work, which is ok I have entitlements and benefits, but I have not been around to ensure that the household is run. And despite her trying things that any basic college grad woman would be able to handle? She can't. Because she can't figure it out and she would bug me to just tell her what to write down here, what to say to this doctor, she would try to wake me up after getting a blood transfusion near death to tell her what to say and do.

I'm recovering but what happens if I don't? What happens if there's no one around to tell her wtf to do? What if she's supposed to navigate a bureaucracy built for people far smarter than her and one she will never find her way through?

I was getting very angry about this all morning. Feeling just pissed off inside. I'm recovering, for sure, and yeah nothing is going to stop me until I die but what if I just wanted to close my eyes and _know_ that she'd have this taken care of? Just for a bit? Like maybe a week? Can I have a week where she's got this? Can I just close my eyes for a week and not wake up to a crumbling wreck?

And yes I know that there are women who can indeed got this taken care of. But they also don't look like the girl I chose. So yeah trade offs.

I was thinking about trying to find somewhere online to just ***** and moan and do the whole woe is me thing. Thought about reddit but I really don't want to pollute my reddit account with anything at all related to relationships. Then I remembered that this place existed. Back before I met her and when I was divorcing my ex wife.

Before I ended up here, to get this off my chest, though, my lovely wife realized I was really pissed off. And she asked me directly about it.

At which point I realized I was seriously tied up in my head. That I was not actually thinking about her, and how "dumb" she is, and I wasn't really even angry at her. But I was seriously caught up in my own childhood and fear I had back then. And that yes I was indeed upset at her. I felt she was being lazy. So I told her, "I'm really struggling here and I feel like you are being lazy"

Direct communication. A nice solid hour of it.

Then we had a lot of direct communication. Her talking about her fears, admitting she has been lazy lately because I have been, and it's just been contagious. That this has almost been like a vacation, only one where we party at the vending machine in the hospital hallway with $20 of junk food. And she said she was sorry and would try harder. And as soon as we got home from her chauffeuring me around (and OMFG I still have not mentioned just how bad a driver she is. You guys, THANK YOU for not letting her sideswipe you or kill herself and our kid. Thank you for driving around her when sher merges on the freeway at 35 mph) she went on a cleaning whirlwind, made a from scratch pizza for lunch, and actually planned dinner again.

So I was going to complain about my sweetheart, and yes with incredible hypocrisy because I did indeed choose her, but now I'll just do some passive aggressive *****ing and say hey, direct communication wins again.

Now couch snuggle time with her and the baby while we watch some hot college tits get murdered in Cabin in the Woods.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

She sounds like a lucky women too! /s


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Under your logic, my soon to be has-been partner of 35 years is the older sister of your wife. It took separation and living 3 hours apart for her to get the hang of life. To make things easier, she's not a native speaker of English, and likely has very mild Asperger's. 

Is she "dumb"?

A doctorate degree in applied mathematics, and a 30 year analytics consultant career suggest she ain't dumb. 

If you care about her, take it easy with the names and attitude and help her with Adulting 101.

I'm going thru this with my princesses - both academically geniuses but street smarts, umm, getting there. Not dumb. 

I would strongly recommend counseling and also working together on things. Where you can help her out and make her feel appreciated at the same time. 

People aren't "dumb". They do things differently sometimes.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I'm confused

You start and finish by saying your wife is dumb.

But in between, you say she took an IQ test in which she scored slightly above average.

Average or above is not, by it's very definition, dumb.

Something is amiss here.

If she has a slightly above average IQ and can not complete simple tasks, theres something else wrong. Maybe a self fulfilling prophecy since it sounds like it's always been accepted... and continually reinforced, that she's dumb; so even though she's not, that's the behavior pattern she has established and thinks is appropriate for her, despite her IQ which is certainly high enough for her to be high functioning.

She needs building up and reinforcement, not more tearing down and belittling. I bet not people who think they know her, you included, would be surprised what she'd be capable of given a more positive environment.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

john117 said:


> Under your logic, my soon to be has-been partner of 35 years is the older sister of your wife. It took separation and living 3 hours apart for her to get the hang of life. To make things easier, she's not a native speaker of English, and likely has very mild Asperger's.
> 
> Is she "dumb"?
> 
> ...


No this just isn't true. She absolutely is dumb. There's nothing wrong with that. She'll never be able to do basic math, the only reason she hasn't wrecked the super safe fancy car I got her (just in case) is because you guys keep avoiding her hitting you, and complicated sentences leave her in tears. Believe me my wife will never be getting a doctorate in _anything_. Maybe in midnight workout routines. And hey they do give degrees to anyone these days.

I'm not the one here who thinks that being dumb is some kind of moral failing. She's the nicest most honest person I've ever met in my life. She's just kind of slow


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I'm confused
> 
> You start and finish by saying your wife is dumb.
> 
> ...


That's what I keep thinking. She's playing me here


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> That's what I keep thinking. She's playing me here


So she's been playing dumb without a break for your whole life together? 

She must have better than average acting talent to go with her better than average IQ.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> That's what I keep thinking. She's playing me here


Let me break it to you if she has been playing you by acting dumb your whole marriage, she ain't the one whose dumb.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

sokillme said:


> Let me break it to you if she has been playing you by acting dumb your whole marriage, she ain't the one whose dumb.


Nooooo. You mean she just wants me to take care of everything but then when I get pissed off about it suddenly she goes on a whirlwind taking care of everything? You don't say


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Waittaminnit....

In your last response to John, you say she absolutely is dumb, but in your last response to me you say she's playing you.

You can't have it both ways. With each self-contradictory post, your tale gets harder to believe (and that not easy as it looked rather fishy fro the get go).


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> So she's been playing dumb without a break for your whole life together?
> 
> She must have better than average acting talent to go with her better than average IQ.


Better than average? Do you realize what the average IQ is? Do you understand that we aren't talking about the average IQ of the person who can use the internet?


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

And now I have to turn off cabin in the woods cause "I can't handle this" she says, wiping tears away from her face with her back turned.

"And I'm sorry I'm dumb I try my hardest" weep weep weep

What do I say to this?

I put on Zoolander. That's what I say to this


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Seriously? You *made* her take an IQ test and determined the results were okay with you, and only then did you marry her? WOW. 

The fact is that some people are better at life in general. One of my daughters will never go to Harvard but she is very life smart and she's going to do just fine out in the real world. And some people can't seem to handle daily life very well. Your wife seems like that type of person. Only when she is forced to buck up and get **** done does she finally rise to the occasion. Too bad there wasn't a test for this before you married her. 

If I'm reading correctly, it sounds like you are mostly upset in that you're afraid for your wife if you happen to die first. What you've been through is very scary and you resent having to worry about her when you should be focusing on getting yourself well. That's very understandable. It might help to write out instructions for many of the household things you take care of, such as bills, maintenance, etc. She would then have this guide to use if something should ever happen to you. As she is not, in fact, dumb based on her IQ test, I bet that would be very helpful to her. Also, don't forget that she has most likely been worried about you during your illness and stressed out as well. I'm sure this affected how much she was able to get done at home.

Hope you are well soon.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

notmyjamie said:


> Seriously? You *made* her take an IQ test and determined the results were okay with you, and only then did you marry her? WOW.
> 
> The fact is that some people are better at life in general. One of my daughters will never go to Harvard but she is very life smart and she's going to do just fine out in the real world. And some people can't seem to handle daily life very well. Your wife seems like that type of person. Only when she is forced to buck up and get **** done does she finally rise to the occasion. Too bad there wasn't a test for this before you married her.
> 
> ...


I'm hoping that our first son will be old enough when I finally bite the bucket for good that he will be able to be there. And that.. he'll want to. She is a very loving mother but we don't live in a society that teaches children to take care of their parents.

And I'm sure he is going to resent this very much.

And I don't want that to muck him up when he starts dating.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

If I could just add, it's high time you stop calling your wife stupid. Even if she "agrees" it's still a very hurtful thing for you to say to her and I'm sure it affects her self esteem. She may even have trouble doing these things because she feels like she's so stupid she's going to fail. 

That is no way for a person to treat someone they love and it's no way for her to live. I feel for her.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I'm hoping that our first son will be old enough when I finally bite the bucket for good that he will be able to be there. And that.. he'll want to. She is a very loving mother but we don't live in a society that teaches children to take care of their parents.
> 
> And I'm sure he is going to resent this very much.
> 
> And I don't want that to muck him up when he starts dating.



So sit down together and make that guide I mentioned. Go over everything with her now. And again, act like you expect she'll understand, not like she's stupid and you may have better results. And it's up to parents to teach that to their kids, not society. Start teaching him now!!!


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Now let me just get this out of the way. My wife _is_ dumb. ... She is never going to pass Algebra II, she is never going to understand allegory...
> 
> ...
> 
> And yes I know that there are women who can indeed got this taken care of. But they also don't look like the girl I chose. So yeah trade offs.


Sooooo, by your reckoning, I'm as dumb as dog do - I wouldn't even be able to complete the simplest of algebra questions, and am absolutely hopeless at math. I'm also ugly apparently because I can keep the house running and not fall apart when my husbands not around. Righto.

Can you ask your poor wife something for me? "Why are you still with him?"

Ta. I'd appreciate it.



notmyjamie said:


> That is no way for a person to treat someone they love and it's no way for her to live. I feel for her.


Yes but he doesn't love her, that much is crystal clear from the opening line of his original post.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What level of education does your wife have?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

How old is she? Has she ever lived on her own?


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## jyotisharma2859 (Feb 12, 2019)

It's crazy. It isn't right to say someone dumb, but in this case, even I say she is really dumb.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Your wife may be dumb (In your opinion) but you’re the one who married her. 
What does that make you?
Hardly a candidate for Mensa.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> Your wife may be dumb (In your opinion) but you’re the one who married her.
> What does that make you?
> Hardly a candidate for Mensa.


yes, why did you marry her if she is so dumb?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I feel bad for her. You knew she had difficulty all along and yet, haven't figured out that writing up a list of things that need done and how to do them so she can live properly to take care of your son and herself. In effect, you are gambling with your son's future mental and physical well-being, if any of this is remotely true. 

In my mind, I believe she just doesn't do things the way you would. This is intolerable for you. That's okay, but it means you two are not very compatible. Seems like you married her for her body, and not because you love her and wanted her to bear and help raise your children. Even if you didn't think you would have any, children are a possible outcome of sex. lol

Does narcissism run in your family? Seriously, you seem like you have forgotten, or never learned how to take the lead in a family. Some women don't need or want that. However, it seems you married one who does. That's not caused by a lack of intelligence. It's more likely caused by the way she was raised. It seems she knows how to cook and clean, but she doesn't have a clue how to please you. Seems like she has never known. I guess you never really had a conversation with her, but expected she was just like the other women you dated before marriage. 

So, her hotness, her honesty and her humility seem to have been what attracted you to her. We all make mistakes. Seems you have, as well. Someone said to get into counseling. I'd suggest the same. I don't think she has an issue. You just don't understand her, nor how to be her husband.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

There are several types of dumb.

Or conditions that make people seem dumb but they aren't.

Which type of dumb are you?

You seem like you could be somewhat controlling?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

She wanted a sugar daddy and you said "sign me up". You like playing 'daddy' or else you would have helped her to learn the basics of adulthood. 

Who cares if she can't do algebra? How is she supposed to know what questions to ask the doctors? 

This 'dumb' shtick is what you two have decided to base your relationship on. Try basing it on respect and love. And, please, don't ever let your son hear you call his mother 'dumb'.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Now let me just get this out of the way. My wife _is_ dumb. She is. She knows it. I know it. This is not some secret between us or something she is not aware of. She could not go to college, but to barely scrape by. She is never going to pass Algebra II, she is never going to understand allegory, she is never going to be the sharper tool in the shed. She's the hammer. And this is totally fine. Neither of us were under any delusions when we met. Actually if there were any delusional parties it was I. She repeatedly told me, apologized to me, and acknowledged this. I had her take an IQ test and it was mildly above the normie average, which was good enough for me. That combined with her self knowledge, and hence focusing her life on becoming instagram pretty. And then aiming for an older established man who would accept a girl who really just isn't that bright, but who gives him her youth, beauty, and another family.
> 
> So no none of this is new news over here and we've been together now for several years.
> 
> ...


Gosh you sound like a load of laughs, your poor wife is engaged in a major trade off too methinks. You are as sour as unwashed dishcloths left out for days. Take your vitriol and BS elsewhere. Men like you should live on their own, what are you looking for from here? Empathy? I'll give you the same amount of empathy you show your long suffering wife, sweet **** all!:scratchhead:


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> No this just isn't true. She absolutely is dumb. There's nothing wrong with that. She'll never be able to do basic math, the only reason she hasn't wrecked the super safe fancy car I got her (just in case) is because you guys keep avoiding her hitting you, and complicated sentences leave her in tears. Believe me my wife will never be getting a doctorate in _anything_. Maybe in midnight workout routines. And hey they do give degrees to anyone these days.
> 
> I'm not the one here who thinks that being dumb is some kind of moral failing. She's the nicest most honest person I've ever met in my life. She's just kind of slow


You really are a p****! You sound old, cantankerous and narcissistic too, maybe time to move you to the old people's home? I'm sure she'll get along fine without you or perhaps another man would be more than willing to 'help' her learn the ropes of running the household.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Whole lotta triggerin’ goin’ on!


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

she has Dyscalculia. There are workarounds that can help. The first step is awareness.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I only needed to read the 1st post to know that you are an arrogant jackass who is probably not nearly as smart as you think you are, and I hope you show your wife the mercy of leaving her so she can find someone with character and emotional intelligence. Bless your sad tiny heart.

Speaking as someone who is a member of Mensa, please please stop telling people you are smart. You are making the rest of us look bad lol


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Mr. Nail said:


> she has Dyscalculia. There are workarounds that can help. The first step is awareness.


My wife has Dyscalculia. She is far from dumb. I also have a degree of Dyscalculia. I am not dumb.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

frusdil said:


> Sooooo, by your reckoning, I'm as dumb as dog do - I wouldn't even be able to complete the simplest of algebra questions, and am absolutely hopeless at math. I'm also ugly apparently because I can keep the house running and not fall apart when my husbands not around. Righto.
> 
> Can you ask your poor wife something for me? "Why are you still with him?"
> 
> ...




Yeah..... I'm a math nerd actuary with a degree in physics that runs my finances and household just fine. 

I must be ugly as sin.

Yet somehow I'm still getting a lot of interest, and my new guy told me I was hot.

Maybe he just has low standards :rofl:


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

OP, if your wife's IQ is average or slightly above, then she's smart enough to manage life. I would guess, rather, that people have been treating her like the pretty dumb girl her whole life, so that's what she thinks she is. It might even have started during childhood. Very pretty girls don't need to be smart, after all. And no one that pretty could also be bright, right?  If she's also plagued with any type of learning disability (dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD) then that sort of thing could have been highly exacerbated. If you tell someone they're stupid long enough, they start to believe it. And, since she's attractive and was always considered dumb, she's learned to use her looks to get by and never bothered to develop any other skills. I think it's likely that what you're seeing is not low IQ (obviously, because hers is a bit above average) but low self-esteem combined with a _learned helplessness_.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

While it is impossible to make a diagnosis online the reports indicate some level of dyscalculia. It is a learning disability. it does not mean you are dumb, or that you are rubbish at maths. It means that maths will be harder for you. Unlike dyslexia there is not very much awareness of Dyscalculia. Some other symptoms are having difficulty with tasks that have multiple steps that must be done in order. Getting lost frequently. My daughter managed to get through college algebra because she had a teacher who gave her the tools to get through it. one of them was writing down the steps before solving the equation. She prefers public transportation to driving. She keeps endless lists. these are just tools she uses to get around the disability. 

The trouble she had was that before diagnosis (informal) she didn't know what the problems were. Now she anticipates them. She says she is working with it instead of against it. She has a college degree. The best thing you can do is look it up and learn ways to work with what she has. If you can find a local educator who has experience with dyscalculia it would be good to get help there.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Yeah..... I'm a math nerd actuary with a degree in physics that runs my finances and household just fine.
> 
> I must be ugly as sin.



I have mild-moderate dyscalculia, meaning I can't make change without a pencil and paper. I also have a science degree and manage both my own household and finances, and a real live business, just fine. Apparently, I'm both dumb _and_ ugly.  

Fascinating....:rofl:


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Rowan said:


> I have moderate dyscalculia, meaning I can't make change without a pencil and paper. I also have a science degree and manage both my own household and finances, and a real live business, just fine. Apparently, I'm both dumb _and_ ugly.
> 
> Fascinating....:rofl:


I can at least console myself in the fact that I'm not dumb.

Don't know how you dumb people manage :grin2:

Ending sarcasm and thread jack now.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

OP,

One if the first things adults realize when they become "self aware" is everyone isn't like "me".

Some more/less talented (insert any subject here), more/less courageous; fearful; fearless; loving; pretty; rich, and on and on.

The second thing hopefully developed is empathy and compassion. 

Everything in life actually can be traced back to these two realizations. 

It's when one gets too full of themselves and put too much weight on their good fortune and reduce the importance of empathy and compassion that they get into trouble. 

Because good fortune isn't increased or maintained when empathy and compassion are pushed way down.

Things crumble emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially, and in resources and good things in life.

It's a truism best to hang on to. I don't take credit for recapping here but adults see this every day.

Pls take to heart:
you've gone off the rails completely if you've shown such bad taste and lack of love for your W by starting any conversation by stating she's dumb, slow, unintelligent, and so on. 

Or ever used those words/similar when speaking to her.

No matter what she says, everytime you do so she's thinking what an a$$ you are. 
Even if she says she agrees with you. 

How superior you must feel when you verbally whip her into agreeing with you. 

How small this makes you sound.

You may be the best guy in the world just somehow got in the wrong path, and I truly hope so. 

Help her kindly and constructively if she needs support getting the hang if certain things. Give her the tools to do a great job. Don't limit her. 

If you don't, another man will. 

Believe that.

Your W will one day get tired of your belittling and leave with a man who builds her up. 

And you'll wonder what happened. 

Spend time changing your ways and be her biggest fan. 

All, and I mean all husbands who have been handling all finances and home for a long time realize at some point that they need to educate their wives in running things in case they get I'll or pass first. Both are statistically going to happen.

It's a H who's too ignorant or selfish who doesn't have this realization. 

Then they wonder why in the world the W can't quickly pick things up. 

Tighten up! You can do it. 

Or she will (and should) leave you. 

I'm pulling for you. It sounds like you love her. I hope so. 

Stop verbally killing your marriage.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

frusdil said:


> Sooooo, by your reckoning, I'm as dumb as dog do - I wouldn't even be able to complete the simplest of algebra questions, and am absolutely hopeless at math. I'm also ugly apparently because I can keep the house running and not fall apart when my husbands not around. Righto.
> 
> Can you ask your poor wife something for me? "Why are you still with him?"


Yep, count me in as dumb too! Basic math is a struggle for me. Too bad I dont have a smokin hot body so I can find some jackass man to lead me through life! 

OP needs to zip it, he chose her because she is hot, believing she is dumb. (which I disagree with, she isnt dumb) This is the life he chose, so suck it tf up.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

You need to work on building your wife up, not tearing her down. This is the wife you chose. I think an apoligy is in order.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

OP, you seem to only have contempt for her - why did you marry her?

Lots of people have difficulty talking to doctors - so that isn't at all unusual. Other than than in what way does she seem incompetent? There are lots of different types of smarts, does she not have any of them in your opinion? 

Normally in marriage each person helps the other where they are weak, so together they are much stronger than they are individually.


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## cheapie (Aug 6, 2018)

It's like I've always said - some men actually prefer a stupid woman -or think they do. My husband tells me he can't imagine why - one of the reasons he was attracted to me was, as he says, "I could actually have a conversation with you." I have an IQ that has tested borderline genius, and have both advanced degrees and professional certifications, so, according to you, I must be a real dog....oh, wait, I'm almost 55, but can easily pass for 40 (have fended off passes from men in their late 30s), have a better body than the majority of women half my age, and give a hell of a blow job, lol. 

Really, I think you married her for her looks, and kind of liked the idea that you could be "intellectually superior" to her and so control her. Now, you're beginning to see that scenario might not have been all you thought it would be long term and it's becoming inconvenient. Well, sorry - you paid your money and made your choice, as it were, and are now punishing your wife for being/behaving as you knew she would. 

Also, for the record, I don't think she's "dumb", either - just someone who has gotten by on her looks because no one has required more of her. Really, you're changing the rules of a game you both agreed upon, which is not fair. However, I will say that basing a marriage on those "rules" doesn't really qualify as a marriage, IMO. But given the fact that you required your partner in life to take an IQ test and let her apologize to you for being "dumb", I don't think you have any idea what marriage is really supposed to be. Sad, mostly for your wife and kids, but for you as well.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

uhtred said:


> OP, you seem to only have contempt for her - why did you marry her?.


He said it on the first page - because she's hot.

Golly, what a surprise that some men STILL chose beauty over brains. LOL.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> He said it on the first page - because she's hot.
> 
> Golly, what a surprise that some men STILL chose beauty over brains. LOL.


That's ok.... it's just that if they do that they give up the right to complain about anything else.

Prioritize what matters when you choose a parter.

I'm still chuckling over the fact that he seems to believe that hotness must be accompanied by stupidity.

Frankly I think he chose someone he perceived as being far less intelligent than him because it made him feel superior.

Whatever... if she's that hot she'll find another guy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

From your post it sounds like your wife has a college degree. So clearly she was able to function before you came into her life. 

If a person is constantly verbally told that they are stupid, don't do things right, etc., their self esteem will plummet to the point that they will not do anything without direction from the person who is verbally abusing them.

Hopefully, one day very soon your wife will wake up and leave you, to live her life without you nick picking everything she does.

The way you talk about your wife is not cute, it's not funny, it's disgusting.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Since marrying for looks seems to show poor long term planning (no one looks as hot at 50 as at 20), I'm not convinced of someone who does that's ability to accurately judge someone else's intelligence. 






She'sStillGotIt said:


> He said it on the first page - because she's hot.
> 
> Golly, what a surprise that some men STILL chose beauty over brains. LOL.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

A lot of men choose crazy, as well, just because she's hot. Lots of later regrets there too.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Livvie said:


> How old is she? Has she ever lived on her own?


26 and no


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> yes, why did you marry her if she is so dumb?


Look being not good at math and not great at solving problems quickly in no way makes you a bad person. It in no way means that someone can't have other wonderful qualities. It in no way makes someone unlovable. You guys need to stop being so judgemental.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> In Absentia said:
> 
> 
> > yes, why did you marry her if she is so dumb?
> ...


Pot meet kettle.

Have you always been so emotionally unintelligent? (Dare I say dumb)


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> She wanted a sugar daddy and you said "sign me up". You like playing 'daddy' or else you would have helped her to learn the basics of adulthood.
> 
> Who cares if she can't do algebra? How is she supposed to know what questions to ask the doctors?
> 
> This 'dumb' shtick is what you two have decided to base your relationship on. Try basing it on respect and love. And, please, don't ever let your son hear you call his mother 'dumb'.


Yeah I don't think so. Also you guys need to stop making so many crazy assumptions. This is like the 2nd time in years I have even said it, and I said it on a forum she doesn't read, to vent because I am very stressed.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Look being not good at math and not great at solving problems quickly in no way makes you a bad person. It in no way means that someone can't have other wonderful qualities. It in no way makes someone unlovable. You guys need to stop being so judgemental.


We do, huh? haaa ahaa haaaahahaa

Good luck to you. Or really your poor wife.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

aine said:


> You really are a p****! You sound old, cantankerous and narcissistic too, maybe time to move you to the old people's home? I'm sure she'll get along fine without you or perhaps another man would be more than willing to 'help' her learn the ropes of running the household.


Wow I'm narcissistic? Have you seen the responses to this thread? How many of the women around here somehow think my post is talking about them? "I'm in Mensa I'm not dumb!" "I'm not dumb either, I have a degree in theoretical physics!" "I can make breakfast and dinner and I'm not dumb!"

Some of the guys getting in on it as well. "I run my own business I'm not dumb!"

Good for all of you! I'm very proud of you being in Mensa and everything I'm sure you feel great knowing you are smarter than 99% of the population. I'm sure you love telling everyone else. I'm glad all of you are so not dumb and have your degrees and businesses and make breakfast and dinner. That is all wonderful. It doesn't have anything to do with my post though. But bravo, all of you.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> We do, huh? haaa ahaa haaaahahaa
> 
> Good luck to you. Or really your poor wife.


Yes you all seriously need to stop being so judgemental. Some people are born dumb. They didn't choose it. It doesn't make them a bad person or unlovable.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Wow I'm narcissistic? Have you seen the responses to this thread? How many of the women around here somehow think my post is talking about them? "I'm in Mensa I'm not dumb!" "I'm not dumb either, I have a degree in theoretical physics!" "I can make breakfast and dinner and I'm not dumb!"
> 
> Some of the guys getting in on it as well. "I run my own business I'm not dumb!"
> 
> Good for all of you! I'm very proud of you being in Mensa and everything I'm sure you feel great knowing you are smarter than 99% of the population. I'm sure you love telling everyone else. I'm glad all of you are so not dumb and have your degrees and businesses and make breakfast and dinner. That is all wonderful. It doesn't have anything to do with my post though. But bravo, all of you.


You got some very good posts. You are not nice. Want to be nice? Change. Otherwise, do your young, lovely wife a favor. Leave.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Yeah I don't think so. Also you guys need to stop making so many crazy assumptions. This is like the 2nd time in years I have even said it, and I said it on a forum she doesn't read, to vent because I am very stressed.[/QUOTE]

The thing is your first post was so disparaging of your wife I don't think you can hide that level of disrespect from her. You may not say it to her on a regular basis but I have to believe she feels it, and that has to hurt her. Maybe the reason she doesn't make decisions is because she is afraid of disappointing you.


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## cheapie (Aug 6, 2018)

And I keep coming back to the whole having her take an IQ test thing. If the fact that she was "dumb" (again, OP's word, not mine) didn't matter because she was such a lovely person, why have her take one at all? I just don't get it....was it, "ok, I don't mind if you're kind of "dumb", but let's make sure you're not TOO dumb..." WTF.....for her too even put up with this request suggests low self esteem.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Yes you all seriously need to stop being so judgemental. Some people are born dumb. They didn't choose it. It doesn't make them a bad person or unlovable.


Well, Mr. Smarter-Than-My-Wife, I just can't resist. It's *JUDGMENTAL.*


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Wow I'm narcissistic? Have you seen the responses to this thread? How many of the women around here somehow think my post is talking about them? "I'm in Mensa I'm not dumb!" "I'm not dumb either, I have a degree in theoretical physics!" "I can make breakfast and dinner and I'm not dumb!"
> 
> Some of the guys getting in on it as well. "I run my own business I'm not dumb!"
> 
> Good for all of you! I'm very proud of you being in Mensa and everything I'm sure you feel great knowing you are smarter than 99% of the population. I'm sure you love telling everyone else. I'm glad all of you are so not dumb and have your degrees and businesses and make breakfast and dinner. That is all wonderful. It doesn't have anything to do with my post though. But bravo, all of you.



LOL You're a real gem.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I'm hoping that our first son will be old enough when I finally *bite the bucket* for good that he will be able to be there.


Please explain to this ugly woman what bite the bucket means? (I'm not dumb because I can do higher math, but I must be ugly because I can also manage every day tasks such as housekeeping and cooking.)


rustytheboyrobot said:


> Yes you all seriously need to stop being so judgemental. Some people are born dumb. They didn't choose it. It doesn't make them a bad person or unlovable.


 You saying your wife, who has an above average IQ is dumb, perhaps born dumb, is very judgemental.

I feel sorry for your wife. She was dumb for taking an IQ test and then marrying you, but that probably was not a reflection of her intelligence, but her values. And you were dumb for marrying a woman whose intelligence you don't respect.


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## Curse of Millhaven (Feb 16, 2013)

Rusty, your first post made me really uncomfortable and sad (felt for your wife), but I’m not going to insult or mock you as you’ve done to your wife in your OP and in turn as some have done to you here. That rarely results in anything good.

To me it sounds like you are both under a lot of stress with your recent serious health problem. Medical emergencies and high stress situations can sometimes bring out the worst in people and/or exacerbate insecurities and issues. Sounds like it did this to both of you.

Not everyone can easily take charge and know exactly what to ask doctors when in crisis. It’s not something to negatively judge your wife about or disparage her capabilities/intellect. I will give you the empathy you did not give your wife and assume that you reacted in anger and were less than kind due to your serious medical condition. I would imagine being deathly ill and feeling as though you still had to be the strong one and handle everything would be very frustrating and stressful. 

When you are well, I hope you can see that someone who is young and facing a medical crisis for probably the first time would be scared, insecure, and less than prepared. Please use this experience as an opportunity for growth and examine why you reacted in anger and were so critical and harsh toward your wife. Try to develop healthy coping mechanisms and help your wife build her confidence and autonomy.

The fact that she broke down and apologized to you in tears saying, "I'm sorry I'm dumb I try my hardest", is heartbreaking but also telling. Even though you state that you do not insult her in real life, she obviously knows your lack of regard and respect for her and feels your judgment. If you love her, that should be an arrow through your heart, and you should do everything you can to ensure you change that.

If you haven’t realized it yet, all things fade with time…vitality, health, beauty, fluid intelligence, memory. What does not fade is love, fidelity, and dedication. Your wife gave you all of those in staying by your side at the hospital and seeing you through this harrowing event with loyalty, care, and humor (vending machine snack party at the hospital). That is precious and golden.

You should be grateful to have such a steadfast, loving partner and try seeing her as she truly is, instead of through the distorted lens of your expectations.

Reacting in anger to stress and being condescending and overly critical are character flaws that suggest insecurity and weakness. In my mind, you both have a lot of work to do to become healthy, functional people. I hope you both get the help you need and come out better and stronger for it. Good luck.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Curse of Millhaven said:


> Rusty, your first post made me really uncomfortable and sad (felt for your wife), but I’m not going to insult or mock you as you’ve done to your wife in your OP and in turn as some have done to you here. That rarely results in anything good.
> 
> To me it sounds like you are both under a lot of stress with your recent serious health problem. Medical emergencies and high stress situations can sometimes bring out the worst in people and/or exacerbate insecurities and issues. Sounds like it did this to both of you.
> 
> ...


Thanks. Yeah I think I should apologize to her when she gets back home today. Things definitely have been very very stressful.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

cheapie said:


> And I keep coming back to the whole having her take an IQ test thing. If the fact that she was "dumb" (again, OP's word, not mine) didn't matter because she was such a lovely person, why have her take one at all? I just don't get it....was it, "ok, I don't mind if you're kind of "dumb", but let's make sure you're not TOO dumb..." WTF.....for her too even put up with this request suggests low self esteem.


Both of us took an IQ test, along with a group of our friends. It was part of a big group discussion thing we were having with all of our friends. We all decided to sign up and take a real iq test based on that group. She was the one who kept telling me, and everyone else, that she was going to score low. I kept telling her that I didn't think so and she scored slightly above average.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Both of us took an IQ test, along with a group of our friends. It was part of a big group discussion thing we were having with all of our friends.


That you MADE her take? Why the change in info?


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> That you MADE her take? Why the change in info?


Clarification of info


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Here's the thing Rusty... IQ tests don't work as well as life experiences for the kind of thing you're concerned with.

The mind doesn't all of a sudden figure out how to talk to a doctor. Or drive a powerful expensive sports car without experience. Or drive in snow, or adjust the flapper valve on a toilet.

My younger girl is very intelligent and still broke her can opener in college trying to open a tuna can for the first time. Made a meme out of it and sent it back to us... a month later she baked us a cheesecake from scratch. 

What you consider intelligence is nothing more than basic street smarts, which some people have, some don't. 

If you're so hung up about intelligence, look at how quickly she learns new stuff and then uses it. Growing up I never had a bicycle. Now I do, yet don't know how to replace or fix a tube flat. I can learn, but it's faster to have the shop do it. That's another issue. 

She has to be able to do the work, and learn, and grow. Simple as that.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

john117 said:


> Here's the thing Rusty... IQ tests don't work as well as life experiences for the kind of thing you're concerned with.
> 
> The mind doesn't all of a sudden figure out how to talk to a doctor. Or drive a powerful expensive sports car without experience. Or drive in snow, or adjust the flapper valve on a toilet.
> 
> ...


That was a great meme!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

cheapie said:


> Really, I think you married her for her looks, and kind of liked the idea that you could be "intellectually superior" to her and so control her. Now, you're beginning to see that scenario might not have been all you thought it would be long term and it's becoming inconvenient. Well, sorry - you paid your money and made your choice, as it were, and are now punishing your wife for being/behaving as you knew she would.
> 
> Also, for the record, I don't think she's "dumb", either - just someone who has gotten by on her looks because no one has required more of her. Really, you're changing the rules of a game you both agreed upon, which is not fair. However, I will say that basing a marriage on those "rules" doesn't really qualify as a marriage, IMO. But given the fact that you required your partner in life to take an IQ test and let her apologize to you for being "dumb", I don't think you have any idea what marriage is really supposed to be. Sad, mostly for your wife and kids, but for you as well.


Pretty much sums it up. Not sure he'll listen, though. If this is even a real thread.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> 26 and no


Wait, so you're like 40 or 50 and you picked a 20 year old? You realize our brains don't stop developing until around age 25, right? You realize that many, if not most, women who marry at that age do so because they need a daddy replacement, right? And that those women eventually 'grow up' and learn their own self-sufficiency and no longer need daddy and grow up to resent daddy for treating them like a child and either cheat on them with someone who respects them, or else divorces them? That's the path you're on. Sheesh.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

turnera said:


> Wait, so you're like 40 or 50 and you picked a 20 year old? You realize our brains don't stop developing until around age 25, right? You realize that many, if not most, women who marry at that age do so because they need a daddy replacement, right? And that those women eventually 'grow up' and learn their own self-sufficiency and no longer need daddy and grow up to resent daddy for treating them like a child and either cheat on them with someone who respects them, or else divorces them? That's the path you're on. Sheesh.


Whatever please explain it all to me like I don't know what's going on.


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## Violet28 (Oct 4, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Both of us took an IQ test, along with a group of our friends. It was part of a big group discussion thing we were having with all of our friends. We all decided to sign up and take a real iq test based on that group. She was the one who kept telling me, and everyone else, that she was going to score low. I kept telling her that I didn't think so and she scored slightly above average.


What was your IQ score?


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Violet28 said:


> What was your IQ score?


I've known my IQ since I was a little boy. There were no surprises to me, even if in my little sunday games and friends group, they say, wow.

I don't feel any need to bragsplain. My life will bare out who I am. IQ means NOTHING if it is not without results


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

john117 said:


> Here's the thing Rusty... IQ tests don't work as well as life experiences for the kind of thing you're concerned with.
> 
> The mind doesn't all of a sudden figure out how to talk to a doctor. Or drive a powerful expensive sports car without experience. Or drive in snow, or adjust the flapper valve on a toilet.
> 
> My younger girl is very intelligent and still broke her can opener in college trying to open a tuna can for the first time. Made a meme out of it and sent it back to us... a month later she baked us a cheesecake from scratch.


My daughter is 28, working on her PhD in psychoneurologic research. She's been driving since she was 18 and it wasn't until about 2 years ago that she became a fully competent driver, one I wasn't afraid to ride with. She got married last year and is now pregnant. She is still asking me to make phone calls for her to fight the insurance companies because she doesn't have the skills or experience to know how to fight them. Oh, and she couldn't figure out how to use a can opener last month. By the way, she also used to be a model. 

Point is, she's a complicated, beautiful, fun, ditzy brainiac. If you 'tested' her on her ability to navigate running a household, she'd be judged just as dumb as your wife. She had to call her mother to ask why the lights went out in her living room; she'd seen me fixing our breaker box before, but in her own new house, it didn't occur to her to know that was the problem. Cos she'd never had to know it before.

All I can say is try to remember that we each have our own set of insecurities and doubts, even you, and it's human nature to find someone to blame so we don't have to look at ourselves in the mirror. And maybe remember that, just like you, all she wants is to be respected and needed. Maybe if you provided more than self-soothing, you'd be able to bring out the respect for her, and let her feel free to respect herself, too - and grow to be the wonderful person she's capable of being.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Clarification of info


Actually, that's not true, rusty. You 'clarified' it because you got called out on your first instinct, so you needed to justify yourself so WE would think more highly of YOU. Kind of just like your wife wishes you would think more highly of her. Think about it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Whatever please explain it all to me like I don't know what's going on.


Well, IDK, do you? You act like a 26 year old is equivalent to you. She's not. Who she was at 16 is nowhere near who she is now and will be nowhere near who she is at 36, especially if she spends the next 10 years being told how stupid - but lovable - she is.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Whatever please explain it all to me like I don't know what's going on.


I think I can see part of your problem in ^^THIS^^ response. Turnera is a long-time poster who offers very insightful, thoughtful feedback.

So you come here asking for feedback/venting/advice/whatever, then you respond to her in a snarky manner. I imagine you are just as pretentious and condescending with your wife.

Yeah, I'm starting to question the authenticity of this post. Why? Because if it's for real, you are in dire need of showing a little humility towards your wife. She sounds like a good woman. Whether she has a Stanford Binet of 80 or 150. And you can't spell. So what? Does that make you less-than????


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I hate to break this to you, but you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed either.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

tech-novelist said:


> I hate to break this to you, but you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed either.


Amen, brother!


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Rusty,
Are you still on your Bi-Polar meds? It sounds like some of your anger is creeping back in.

Something I've found is some of the most educated, highest IQ people I know are the dumbest. I'll take common sense over book smarts any day. I guess I'm an anomaly because I have a high IQ but limited higher education.

You really don't have anything to worry about when you kick the bucket or bite the bullet whichever you do, because at 26 your wife will have plenty of horny guys playing KISA with her. She'll be fine.

And Yeah, you do owe her an apology.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> From your post it sounds like your wife has a college degree. So clearly she was able to function before you came into her life.
> 
> If a person is constantly verbally told that they are stupid, don't do things right, etc., their self esteem will plummet to the point that they will not do anything without direction from the person who is verbally abusing them.
> 
> ...


I'd suggest the OP has narcissist tendencies, living with that for years would make anyone 'dumb.' His vitriol and resentment of her oozes out of his posting, I am sure he doesn't hide any of this from her. That poor woman, the damage he has probably done to her.
Maybe she pretends to be dumb because she is 'grey rocking' him?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Prodigal said:


> I think I can see part of your problem in ^^THIS^^ response. Turnera is a long-time poster who offers very insightful, thoughtful feedback.
> 
> So you come here asking for feedback/venting/advice/whatever, then you respond to her in a snarky manner. I imagine you are just as pretentious and condescending with your wife.
> 
> Yeah, I'm starting to question the authenticity of this post. Why? Because if it's for real, you are in dire need of showing a little humility towards your wife. She sounds like a good woman. Whether she has a Stanford Binet of 80 or 150. And you can't spell. So what? Does that make you less-than????


Well, to be fair, we have pretty much ALL piled on top of him and told him what we think his faults are, so I don't blame him being reactive. I cringe reading an entire thread - my posts included - of us bashing him. So for that, I apologize, Rusty. But it's clear your point of view here could use some polishing. You lost out on one marriage and you're likely going to lose this one, too, at this rate. So it will behoove you to take a step back and try to weed through our vitriol to understand WHY we have reacted the way we have reacted. 

It's not just from you saying she's dumb. It's the tone of your posts - that 'claim' to say you love her in all her ditziness, yet in the same breath discuss how you look down on it. Love is love. 

I think someone got it right when they said you're feeling vulnerable and scared, and looking for someone else to take on that weight. Might be a good time to ask yourself some hard questions.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Rusty,
> Are you still on your Bi-Polar meds? It sounds like some of your anger is creeping back in.
> 
> Something I've found is some of the most educated, highest IQ people I know are the dumbest. I'll take common sense over book smarts any day. I guess I'm an anomaly because I have a high IQ but limited higher education.
> ...


Ahhhhhhh

So it isn't rusty's 1st time at the Tam rodeo his it? I'd be intrested to know what his previous screen name was. I suspect it would explain a lot.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

personofinterest said:


> Ahhhhhhh
> 
> So it isn't rusty's 1st time at the Tam rodeo his it? I'd be intrested to know what his previous screen name was. I suspect it would explain a lot.


He's been posting here for years. I think it was 4 or 5 years ago that he came here talking (I assume) about the girl he eventually married. Is that right, rusty? The one who pursued you, was 20, willing to do whatever you wanted? Back then, you were still wounded by your cheating wife and afraid of being vulnerable, but wowed by this PYT making all your (sex and adoration) dreams come true. 

What's changed to lead to your disgust with her?


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## Edmund (Apr 1, 2017)

Go watch the wizard of oz movie. Pay attention to the scarecrow. Who thought he was dumb because he didn’t have a brain, until the wizard gave him a piece of paper saying he was smart.

Build her up. Teach her things and encourage her.

All the other stuff will take care of itself. Medical personnel will simplify so that she can make decisions based on her love for you. Cars will soon be driving themselves (then you will worry more than when she is driving).

Just remember how lucky you are to have her.


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## Violet28 (Oct 4, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I've known my IQ since I was a little boy. There were no surprises to me, even if in my little sunday games and friends group, they say, wow.
> 
> I don't feel any need to bragsplain. My life will bare out who I am. IQ means NOTHING if it is not without results


You don't want to tell us what it is?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I've known my IQ since I was a little boy. There were no surprises to me, even if in my little sunday games and friends group, they say, wow.
> 
> I don't feel any need to bragsplain. My life will bare out who I am. IQ means NOTHING if it is not without results


So far the only "result" is that you chose and married a woman you're not happy with.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

3Xnocharm said:


> Yep, count me in as dumb too! Basic math is a struggle for me. Too bad I dont have a smokin hot body so I can find some jackass man to lead me through life!
> 
> OP needs to zip it, he chose her because she is hot, believing she is dumb. (which I disagree with, she isnt dumb) This is the life he chose, so suck it tf up.


I can do basic math, but that's about it pmsl. And you know what? I don't care. It just means my talents lie in other areas - I helped my niece pull her English grade up from C to A during her last 2 years of school. I'll get you an A or high distinction one any English assignment no worries. But I suck at math so clearly I'm dumb as dog do :rofl:


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Ya know, reading back over your posts ( particularly) the June/18 update really raises some questions. You don't sound like a man in his forties. 

You surrendered all rights to your first son (if he even is your son) and refused to take on some more time with him but at the same time you claim you want to make it up to him. When? You're planning on having two more children with your child bride, so, just when will you be making it up to son #1?

Also, in 2014, you posted in several threads that people here called you a troll. Those posts must have been deleted. At the same time, you admitted that you were drunk 80% of the time you were posting while insisting you were taking your bi-polar meds. All while being a police officer. 

And, you dutifully report to your wife whenever some other woman shows an interest in you because it makes her feel good to know her husband is so desired? WTF???

Just how old are you?


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

@rustytheboyrobot assuming you're post is on the level.

A man has responsibility to protect, and at one time to teach those he was responsible for looking after. 

Instead of calling her dumb teach her how to handle life situations. 

My wife made mistake of calling herself stupid in my presence ONCE! Everyone does stupid or dumb things. It doesn't make them so. 

Think of what it says of your character to allow your wife to call herself dumb in your presence. Many with average iq have college degrees. Many with high iq don't have a degree.

If her lack of understanding bothers you then be a man and husband and fix it.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

red oak said:


> @rustytheboyrobot assuming you're post is on the level.
> 
> A man has responsibility to protect, and at one time to teach those he was responsible for looking after.
> 
> ...


I disagree with the underlying idea of this. This isn't a father child relationship!!! A husband should not be "responsible" for teaching another adult-- his wife--- how to handle life situations.

A grown woman, if she feels she isn't intelligent should take actions to learn more, etc. 

A husband isn't responsible for "looking after" his wife. Not like this...


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Livvie said:


> I disagree with the underlying idea of this. This isn't a father child relationship!!! A husband should not be "responsible" for teaching another adult-- his wife--- how to handle life situations.
> 
> A grown woman, if she feels she isn't intelligent should take actions to learn more, etc.
> 
> A husband isn't responsible for "looking after" his wife. Not like this...


Then neither should a wife ever offer her husband any advice or tell him her opinion because they should all know everything they need to know when they marry.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

red oak said:


> Then neither should a wife ever offer her husband any advice or tell him her opinion because they should all know everything they need to know when they marry.


Exactly. My hubby teaches me things all the time, and I do the same with him. It has nothing to do with "parent/child." It is because we each have unique strengths, and we help each other.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

@Livvie rest of my reply. Trying to reply to this website from a phone grrrr.

People do what I suggested everyday here on TAM to complete strangers, give advice/teach.

If @rustytheboyrobot would do so here on TAM how much more should he be helping his wife?


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