# What to do......?



## ptty2005 (Jan 31, 2009)

I have been seperated from my wife for just over 2 years. She had commitment issues so we went our seperate ways. We share custody of our 2 sons and our relationship is civil. I have been on a few dates but it seems that all I meet is very superficial women. Even the ones I talk to for a month ahead of time disappear after we meet. Ill be the first to say Im not a great looking man but does that really matter after a certain age? Im 43 years old now and am under the understanding that things like that tend to take a back seat to integrity, loyalty and character. Am i wrong? Have i been out of the dating loop so long that Im living in a fantasy world?


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## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

I hate to be the one to say this but, you need to move on. Two years of separation is way to long to suffer. I have been separated one month but I did tell my wife I would not be in this situation for a year. Maybe I was wrong but I cannot put my life on hold waiting for something that may/may not happen. Don't get me wong, I'm trying my best during this separation but you nor I can change our spouses. When you are single and over your ex will you be able to date. Now this is just my opinion and you did ask for it, maybe some others more experianced can offer better advice.


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## ptty2005 (Jan 31, 2009)

my feelings for my ex are long gone. Im just wondering about the mindset of the rest of the planet these days


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

Have you tried finding someone on sites, such as Match.com or e-harmony.com?


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## ptty2005 (Jan 31, 2009)

yes I have. We talk for a while and get along great,,,,,,then we meet and I never see them again. I have learned that I can be loving, loyal, honest,romantic and have tons of integrity but without good looks Im not good enough. people have been so blinded by hollywood and the media that they dont even realize its happening.


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## seekingAdvice3 (Oct 6, 2008)

Don't be so focused on looks. I'm very good looking and have had girls do the same thing (not meeting them online)- looking back, mostly when that happened was because the date was like an interview. Probably what is happening is that you are very concious about your looks and that comes across and negatively impacts your confidence, which is what girls are more drawn to. Yes, if you are good looking the odds are stacked in your favor, but fortunately for guys, girls do not cross people off the list right away if the opposite sex is not attractive - unlike us guys.

f you're meeting them online they should already know what you look like anyways, so maybe your online charm is much different than in person? I have found that I am very successful with women when I treat them the exact opposite way my mom would want me to treat them. It's amazing. Be funny, cocky, and don't give a sh*t about them and they'll love you.


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## ptty2005 (Jan 31, 2009)

Here is an email for my latest....You be the judges

"Hello... sorry it took a while for me to email(busy with life). First I would like to apologize for leaving early. I will try to explain the best I can. After my accident, I thought that I wanted more...one of those things was a relationship. I don't. I like my life the way it is. So my departure really had nothing to do with you. I think you are probably everything I would want if I wanted a relationship. We could continue a friendship, but I will leave that up to you. Again SORRY".


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## Sprite (Nov 3, 2008)

ok, here is my honest opinion. A true woman will not care so much about looks, but what is underneath. Sadly those women are hard to find. I mean looks do matter to a point, but they are not what makes the person. A woman dating today does not want a fat slob, or someone who doesn't know how to take care of themselves. This does not look like you!

In today's society it is sad that yes a lot of emphasis is put on looks and the build of a persons body. People today are very vain.


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## ptty2005 (Jan 31, 2009)

Again I have to ask "What to do...."? People are so vain, i need to agree. But at 43 years old that is hard to accept


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