# Angry at wife



## perfecthusband1973 (Dec 9, 2011)

OK- I am so angry at my wife right now that I can't even see straight. For starters - my username is supposed to be ironic - I am not perfect. But, my wife is the queen of not worrying about something bad happening to our kids if they aren't watched. Well, right now my wife is on the way to the ER with our 14 month old daughter because she left the child unattended in the jogging stroller, unstrapped in. So, our daughter starts to crawl up the back of the stroller, it flips over backwards, and she crashes face first into the concrete. Bloody nose, bloody mouth, and I am so furious at my wife over this that I can hardly even speak. I already said to much to her in the heat of the moment right after the accident - something like "So let me get this straight, you left her by herself in the driveway, unattended and unstrapped in, and what happened, this. Are you surprised? Here we go again, etc,etc, you never think anything is going to happen, well this happened" So, I am trying to think about the possibility of the kids getting hurt when they are in my care, but I would never let this happen. If they did get hurt then it would be out of my control, but this matter was her fault - bottome line. I can't forgive her for it because she does this kind of thing so often, when I call her out on it, she tells me to quit treating her like she's an idiot, etc. Well in this case she is an idiot and has caused a serious injury that could have been avoided by not leaving the child or buckling the child in. Help, I need to calm down before she gets back from the Doctor or I am going to cause a huge fight and maybe even leave. My chest is filled with fire I am so angry, and I am worried about my precious little daughter that I am supposed to protect, I am angry that she is in pain and it should have been prevented. My wife f-ed up and she needs to own it, but she won't.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

What she did is called neglect. It's common sense to strap a child into their stroller, even more common sense to not leave a child unattended whether strapped in or not.

I'm a mom of five kids, I never ONCE ever left them unstrapped or unattended. It's just freaking common sense.

I hope your little girl walks away with no serious injuries. Perhaps researching what could happen with a serious head injury or facial injuries and showing her the pictures and research would help her understand the consequences that could occur.

For example, head concussions with children can manifest days later, including hemotomas (bruising and bleeding of the brain), fractures don't always get seen right away even with xrays for younger children. Tooth damage can occur without visual evidence (crack in the root of the tooth) and this can cause extreme pain.

She needs to learn that this is a very serious issue and a very preventable issue. COMMON SENSE, plain and simple.


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## InsaneFatherof2 (Dec 10, 2011)

First, I hope your child is ok. I know it scares the heck out of you. 

Second, I got to say I am not the most observant parent either. Not strapping at kid in is neglect but most likely not intentional. 

I am guilty of this. I once gave the wrong medication to my daughter. Prior to that my wife always yelled at me to watch what I was doing. To stop and think before acting.

I have ADD. I can't help but wonder if your wife may have a mild form of it. Those of use with A.D.D. I have a hard time to stay focused and can easily get side tracked.

I haven't made that mistake again because I felt so sick to my stomach and scared of doing that again. I wish I could tell you I haven't made others.

For example, I once took the car seat out of my truck to clean it. Put it back in. I forgot to lock it down. Two days later. I put my child into the car seat thinking it was secure.

I drove off and stop at a light and she fell forward strap to the chair. Scared the hell out of her and me. I am not trying to blame my ADHD. I have had to learn new ways to work with myself to stay focused. I think your wife may need to also. A few scares that hopefully didn't do damage might be what she needs. It is what I needed.

Perry


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

That is pathetic, if my wife ever did that I would have reacted the same. Thankfully she has yet to do something so neglectful and stupid.



> My wife f-ed up and she needs to own it, but she won't.


 I won't forgive that. I can't. It's one thing if she realises her mistake and learns from it, it's a completely another issue if she refuses to acknowledge that she's wrong.


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## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

Yea...neglect and...well, kids get hurt. 

Why did she leave her outside alone in a stroller though? That would bother me more than the child getting hurt


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

You don't give enough info about the situation for me to know if you are just a controlling perfectionist or if your wife is truly neglectful all the time. You said this happens "often". Can you give more details.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

What's wrong being a perfectionist when it comes to parenthood? I STRIVE to be the father I never had or have or will ever have. Personally if my wife didn't end up to my standards she can start packing. I'm VERY protective of my daughter as well.


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## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> What's wrong being a perfectionist when it comes to parenthood? I STRIVE to be the father I never had or have or will ever have. Personally if my wife didn't end up to my standards she can start packing. I'm VERY protective of my daughter as well.


It's the mother's child too. I don't know, and you don't know, the situation around WHY the child was left out there. Perfectionism just leads to disappointment in most cases and can cause neurotic children.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Any failure on my daughter's part is MY failure as a father, sorry... but this post really got me mad too, I simply can't accept such stupidity from a mother, and personally I wouldn't have reacted any differently to my wife if she ever put my child to ER.


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## rogergrant (Dec 7, 2011)

Well, these things do happen. Your wife might just be getting defensive. You mention a pattern of behavior. I hope that this doesn't involve repeated trips to the ER. Hopefully, once will be enough.


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