# Porn Addiction



## finallyoverit (Nov 17, 2013)

Recently I've discovered that my husband has an addiction to porn. I am a little upset that its taken all these years for him to finally admit to it, and the fact that I was not the person in which he could share this information with pisses me off to. But I guess I should be happy that he recognizes the problem, right? The subject has always come up throughout our 15 years together. Every now and then I'd discover his collection of porn. It upsets me because we have children in the home who know how to use the computer. Anyone of them could come across this collection of his at any time. I've have expressed my concern with him and he knows how I feel about porn and his particular fetish. He knows my emotional feelings toward the subject. However, he has never expressed his feeling toward the matter. I've only gotten the silent treatment, or "what do you want me to do?". I have tried in the past to enjoy porn with him. We've even gone to the store to start a collection together, but I could not pretend I was okay with it. Do I forgive for the thousandth time or do I move on?


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Does he have a addiction or does he just like porn? I liked porn.....but for my marriage I gave it up. 
It seems you tried to come up with a compromise, that you would watch it together, am I correct? When you tried and couldn't do it what else did you both come up with?


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## finallyoverit (Nov 17, 2013)

I couldn't come up with another compromise. I just looked the other way. He knows that it makes me uncomfortable so he chooses to be secretive about it. He's told me that he thinks he's addicted. I've always been aware of his activity. Over the past 15 years there's been a significant change in the way we have sex. This is how I know he's been taking cues from porn, either that or he's cheating on me. I'd always hoped he could quit for the sake of our marriage, but it's clear to me now that he doesn't care enough about me to do that.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

If your husband is cheating on you, you have way bigger problems than porn.


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## Unsure123 (Aug 10, 2012)

I had a similar situation with my stbx. Only he made promises to stop for eight years. He never did, so I moved out. Make sure he knows exactly how you feel about it, and how it makes you feel when he watches. To some real men a marriage is more important than a screen.


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## NothingWantsToChange (Nov 8, 2013)

Last Long Lifelong said:


> Would you consider suggesting a "no porn diet"?
> 
> With porn being as readily available as the football news these days, it's easy for a man to equate that availability with the appropriateness of him viewing it.
> 
> 30 days without porn. Give it a try. When you suggest it, the reaction you get (hopefully positive) will speak volumes.


This is a pretty good idea. I stopped watching for a while to see if I could and that was 9-10 months ago and never turned back. I don't miss it at all honestly. Sometimes I get the urge and just ignore it. I apparently was not addicted and I doubt most are...it was just something I had always watched so since my teen years. I don't think everyone should quit watching but making sure you can stop is important. 

Also I know many women including my girlfriend don't like the secrecy around porn but are ok with the porn. My question is what do you want guys to do? Do you really want him to tell you everytime he watches? Do you only want him watching with you?


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Any real addiction should be addressed (food, smoking, alcohol, porn, shopping etc) That said, I'll echo the other posters and say, he might not be truly addicted. As for you ending the marriage, I'd say to do the old relationship balance sheet. List his good qualities on one side and his bad ones on the other (be honest). Doing so might give you some clarity.


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