# Just found out I have early stages of cancer



## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

I just found out from my doctor that my two abnormal paps and HPV positives in the past had turned into cervical cancer. It is in the early stages and I will need to do a cone biopsy where I will be put asleep for it. The doctor will see if it goes away. If not, I will do a hysterectomy as soon as 6 weeks after. 

I want to thank my STBXH for his present. My divorce is in it's final week or two because the court is currently working on the week I turned in the final default papers. Once the judge signs it, I won't have health insurance anymore. I am stuck right now with having to make a decision to stop the divorce so I can have this procedure done. I am afraid that once I stop it, I will have to start the whole divorce process again....from the beginning. I know if I do that, he will fight me with getting custody of the kids the next round. 

I'm looking at all options right now, but I don't have a lot of time. I have a mammogram today, so i will talk to someone at the hospital about getting my own insurance without having a lapse. I read up on getting COBRA insurance from my ex's employment, but the monthly payment will be $640...a little steep. I don't work, so if I got a job now, it may be a while before I can qualify for insurance.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Call the clerk of court, ask for an extension on the default. Attorneys do it all the time, its not a big deal and doesn't stop the process, it only impacts the date on the calendar your case comes up.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything-sending huge cyberhugs (( ))
Stress will not help you. It may sound like hookum, but try to meditate, or some type of deliberative breathing. Do it for twenty minutes everyday. The relaxation will help your mind, and your body by decreasing any internal inflammation that happens when your body attacks itself. You are a strong woman who will make it out the otherside.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Left With 4.5 said:


> I just found out from my doctor that my two abnormal paps and HPV positives in the past had turned into cervical cancer. It is in the early stages and I will need to do a cone biopsy where I will be put asleep for it. The doctor will see if it goes away. If not, I will do a hysterectomy as soon as 6 weeks after.
> 
> I want to thank my STBXH for his present. My divorce is in it's final week or two because the court is currently working on the week I turned in the final default papers. Once the judge signs it, I won't have health insurance anymore. I am stuck right now with having to make a decision to stop the divorce so I can have this procedure done. I am afraid that once I stop it, I will have to start the whole divorce process again....from the beginning. I know if I do that, he will fight me with getting custody of the kids the next round.
> 
> I'm looking at all options right now, but I don't have a lot of time. I have a mammogram today, so i will talk to someone at the hospital about getting my own insurance without having a lapse. I read up on getting COBRA insurance from my ex's employment, but the monthly payment will be $640...a little steep. I don't work, so if I got a job now, it may be a while before I can qualify for insurance.


Early diagnosis in this situation is the "good" part of some very bad news. I am truly sorry this adds to the cross you're carrying.

I would think you could just be quiet and drag the divorce out.

He likely wouldn't even notice until you have the surgery.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> Call the clerk of court, ask for an extension on the default. Attorneys do it all the time, its not a big deal and doesn't stop the process, it only impacts the date on the calendar your case comes up.
> I am so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything-sending huge cyberhugs (( ))
> Stress will not help you. It may sound like hookum, but try to meditate, or some type of deliberative breathing. Do it for twenty minutes everyday. The relaxation will help your mind, and your body by decreasing any internal inflammation that happens when your body attacks itself. You are a strong woman who will make it out the otherside.


Thanks for the tip. I'm looking for the number right now to call. I may have to go in person, knowing how LA Superior Court works....


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

Good Luck, Left.


Pb.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Do you have a lawyer? I'm wondering whether it's possible to include a clause in your decree ordering your ex to maintain you on his insurance. I have no idea whether that's possible, but it's certainly worth finding out about.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Left, I have had the cone biopsy done a couple times. It really isn't too bad. I went to work the day after the procedure. Thankfully, I haven't had to have a hysterectomy as the doctor was able to get all the cancerous cells with the biopsy. Hope it goes well for you.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

karole said:


> Left, I have had the cone biopsy done a couple times. It really isn't too bad. I went to work the day after the procedure. Thankfully, I haven't had to have a hysterectomy as the doctor was able to get all the cancerous cells with the biopsy. Hope it goes well for you.


My gut tells me this is how it will go for you Left.

Early detection is a blessing.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

karole said:


> Left, I have had the cone biopsy done a couple times. It really isn't too bad. I went to work the day after the procedure. Thankfully, I haven't had to have a hysterectomy as the doctor was able to get all the cancerous cells with the biopsy. Hope it goes well for you.


Thanks Karole, i'm hoping it will go well too.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

GTdad said:


> Do you have a lawyer? I'm wondering whether it's possible to include a clause in your decree ordering your ex to maintain you on his insurance. I have no idea whether that's possible, but it's certainly worth finding out about.


I had an option to do that but chose not to. STUPID on my part! 

In talking to other LE families, I learned that I will be covered up to 3 months after divorce. After that, I have option to buy COBRA through his work at a discounted rate. I think I'll be okay.


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## DumpedAgain (Feb 14, 2013)

Been going through the joys of divorce, went to my oncologist
Yesterday, non Hodgkin's lymphoma coming back, need 
Treatment soon, 

Oncologist said.....stress


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

DumpedAgain said:


> Been going through the joys of divorce, went to my oncologist
> Yesterday, non Hodgkin's lymphoma coming back, need
> Treatment soon,
> 
> Oncologist said.....stress


Stress causes so much symptoms in our bodies.  Hope you get well soon.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

I was able to get an appt for my cone biopsy for Monday. I pray that this will take care of it. I've been looking up natural healing thru food and started this green drink diet and ginger juice shots (eww). I'll have to change my whole way of eating too. Sucks, but I think it will be for the better, for me and my family.


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

GTdad said:


> Do you have a lawyer? I'm wondering whether it's possible to include a clause in your decree ordering your ex to maintain you on his insurance. I have no idea whether that's possible, but it's certainly worth finding out about.


It is possible but that would be considered the "cobra" and based on what the spousal support ends up being if she or he has to pay it. It cannot be done other than a Cobra as the health insurance company *will not* keep on a non-spouse. That is one of my fears as I have a pre existing brain cyst that is inoperable and really only causes me migraines right now. My stbxh has great insurance and my work provides very inadequate insurance.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Everyone, take a look at this site:

Anti-Inflammatory Diet - Dr. Weil

Its a diffrent way of approaching a diet for the sole purpose of reducing inflammation inside our bodies that can contribute to chronic illnesses. It can keep you health and help everyone who has to deal with chronic stressors in their lives. Just an idea.


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## gbonham77 (Feb 21, 2013)

stay strong for this condition .. pray for you


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## swetecynamome (Feb 15, 2013)

I hope you will keep posting to the thread. I wish I had something helpful to say at the moment but I do want to know how things go. Take care and I'm sorry.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> Everyone, take a look at this site:
> 
> Anti-Inflammatory Diet - Dr. Weil
> 
> Its a diffrent way of approaching a diet for the sole purpose of reducing inflammation inside our bodies that can contribute to chronic illnesses. It can keep you health and help everyone who has to deal with chronic stressors in their lives. Just an idea.


This is great. Looks so simple and it's something all of us should be doing all along. Thanks for the link, Pluto.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

gbonham77 said:


> stay strong for this condition .. pray for you


Thank you gbonham77. I'm trying to stay strong...have kids that need me.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

swetecynamome said:


> I hope you will keep posting to the thread. I wish I had something helpful to say at the moment but I do want to know how things go. Take care and I'm sorry.


Thank you swetecynamome. I'll try and update whenever I can.


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## gbonham77 (Feb 21, 2013)

Left With 4.5 said:


> Thank you gbonham77. I'm trying to stay strong...have kids that need me.


you are the best mother


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## wiser11 (Jul 9, 2011)

Just want to add my own positives vibes to the multitude of others I know are coming your way. 

Stay strong.


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## gbonham77 (Feb 21, 2013)

update please


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I hope you're doing well! This is the first I've seen of this thread and I'm curious to know how you're doing, too! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Provided that your STBXH does not have a problem with it, and as obviously evidenced by his actions that he really does not, I'd simply have both attorneys sign off on a delay with either the clerk of court or with the presiding judge. It is a fairly common legal maneuver.

Best of luck to you and God's speed, m'dear! We'll fastly be keeping you and your family in our prayers!


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

gbonham77 said:


> update please


Hi, sorry for being MIA for a bit. Been on an emotional roller coaster since I posted last. 

I went to my appointment and found out that they had made a mistake on my appointment. I was 'supposed' to do some blood work and talk to an anesthesiologist BEFORE I do my cone biopsy. So everything was rescheduled. 

I got all of my blood work done on Friday. I have an appointment to talk to the anesthesiologist today and are scheduled for the cone biopsy THIS Thursday. I know it's all routine, but the doctor kinda scared me with all the what ifs and signing papers for next of kin etc. 

The good news is that I passed my mammogram! One less thing to worry about.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Don't let that scare you its all proceedure. Your going to do fine! Sending good thoughts your way. Keep us posted.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Hey how are you feeling today?


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

so glad you have one less thing to worry about. Try to keep all those postive thoughts flowing, Praying for you and hopeing you have a peaceful day.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Good morning, the surgery went well and I went home feeling fine yesterday. I woke up in Pain this morning! Thank goodness they prescribed some ibuprofen. 

I'm praying that since it was found pretty early, that this cone biopsy would take care of it. The doctor told me that if it had spread, hysterectomy would be my next step.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Thank you for all the support. It means a lot to me.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

How long before you get results?


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

As stated earlier, I have had the cone procedure done a couple of times. You will have to get PAPs every 3 months for a while, then every 6 months and eventually back to once a yearl. That's what I had to do anyway. I haven't had a PAP come back abnormal in years. Hope the same for you!


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## Voltaire (Feb 5, 2013)

I don't quite know what to say, but my thoughts are with you.

I too had some health issues that arose within a week or two of having the D-bomb dumped on me - not nearly as serious as yours but worrying all the same and something that weighs on your mind. I managed to use the fact that life was dumping all over me on all fronts to ignite some determination in me to fight and to win. I hope you can do that too.


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## gbonham77 (Feb 21, 2013)

glad to see you update. Faithful wife/mother like you deserves many respect and compliment. I admire a faithful wife highly and respect them. May your struggle in life keeps you steady


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

karole said:


> As stated earlier, I have had the cone procedure done a couple of times. You will have to get PAPs every 3 months for a while, then every 6 months and eventually back to once a yearl. That's what I had to do anyway. I haven't had a PAP come back abnormal in years. Hope the same for you!


I hope mine will be like yours too.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

smallsteps said:


> How long before you get results?


I will find out the results in 2 weeks (March 29th)


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Voltaire said:


> I don't quite know what to say, but my thoughts are with you.
> 
> I too had some health issues that arose within a week or two of having the D-bomb dumped on me - not nearly as serious as yours but worrying all the same and something that weighs on your mind. I managed to use the fact that life was dumping all over me on all fronts to ignite some determination in me to fight and to win. I hope you can do that too.


I'm trying. Sometimes I feel like I want to give up. But times like those, I look at my 4 children and I use them as determination to fight and win.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

When I first found out I have early stages of cervical cancer, my oldest son was scared and called his father. My son asked his dad if he could extend the health insurance for a couple of months because "mom just found out that she has cervical cancer". The father said 'sure' and that he will talk to mom (me).

I never heard a peep out of him.

My MIL had told my ex that I was in the hospital yesterday for a surgery. 

My ex came by to pick up the youngest this morning. Nothing. He said nothing to me about my cancer OR surgery. Only thing he said to me, after picking up our youngest and title to the car that his mother had signed over to him was, "You want to take half of my car in the divorce too?" 

Wow, to have him hate me so much where he wouldn't even acknowledge my condition really sucked.


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## justforfun1222 (Feb 6, 2013)

Left With 4.5 said:


> I just found out from my doctor that my two abnormal paps and HPV positives in the past had turned into cervical cancer. It is in the early stages and I will need to do a cone biopsy where I will be put asleep for it. The doctor will see if it goes away. If not, I will do a hysterectomy as soon as 6 weeks after.
> 
> I want to thank my STBXH for his present. My divorce is in it's final week or two because the court is currently working on the week I turned in the final default papers. Once the judge signs it, I won't have health insurance anymore. I am stuck right now with having to make a decision to stop the divorce so I can have this procedure done. I am afraid that once I stop it, I will have to start the whole divorce process again....from the beginning. I know if I do that, he will fight me with getting custody of the kids the next round.
> 
> I'm looking at all options right now, but I don't have a lot of time. I have a mammogram today, so i will talk to someone at the hospital about getting my own insurance without having a lapse. I read up on getting COBRA insurance from my ex's employment, but the monthly payment will be $640...a little steep. I don't work, so if I got a job now, it may be a while before I can qualify for insurance.


I had pre-cancer cells years ago.. and they burned them off and then it went away and did not come back.. so I am hoping you will have the same results!!


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

Left With 4.5 said:


> When I first found out I have early stages of cervical cancer, my oldest son was scared and called his father. My son asked his dad if he could extend the health insurance for a couple of months because "mom just found out that she has cervical cancer". The father said 'sure' and that he will talk to mom (me).
> 
> I never heard a peep out of him.
> 
> ...


This made me cry: to think that it’s what it comes down to, showing the mother of his children such little concern, once you were the love of his life and now your dismissed like you are nothing to him.. well you’re not nothing and as much as he wants to tell himself it; you’re not nothing to him either. He just cannot face his own guilt. Looking at you and seeing you in need emotionally, physically reminds him of his failures. That’s all it is, it’s not you.... It’s him.... Remember that.. it’s not your failures, its his and you are strong and courageous and will get through whatever you need to and in a loving caring way unlike him!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Left With 4.5 said:


> When I first found out I have early stages of cervical cancer, my oldest son was scared and called his father. My son asked his dad if he could extend the health insurance for a couple of months because "mom just found out that she has cervical cancer". The father said 'sure' and that he will talk to mom (me).
> 
> I never heard a peep out of him.
> 
> ...


Wow. Sometimes the lack of compassion and empathy for others is just absolutely stunning! I am so very sorry for the way he is treating you during such a delicate time... Complete lack of class...

I hope you are doing well and blessed with good news soon! Keeping you in my thoughts! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Wow. Don't let him get to you. He probably feels like dirt but is handling it like a child by lashing out at you instead of handling it like a mature responsible adult. You don't need any more stress - its no good for you.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Thank you everyone. It does hurt. Hurts really bad to know that he's so into himself and his MOW that he doesn't give a sh*t about the mother of his children. But then again, this is the same guy that didn't shed a tear at his father's two funeral. 

There's nothing I can do about it and I am blessed that I have amazing support from my children. My oldest had to take a day off from school to take me to the hospital and back because my MIL refused to take me after finding out that the doctor had changed my check in time to an earlier time. I found out she went shopping...

I was in church yesterday and I prayed and prayed for my ex and mother in law.


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

Left With 4.5 said:


> Thank you everyone. It does hurt. Hurts really bad to know that he's so into himself and his MOW that he doesn't give a sh*t about the mother of his children. But then again, this is the same guy that didn't shed a tear at his father's two funeral.
> 
> There's nothing I can do about it and I am blessed that I have amazing support from my children. My oldest had to take a day off from school to take me to the hospital and back because my MIL refused to take me after finding out that the doctor had changed my check in time to an earlier time. I found out she went shopping...
> 
> I was in church yesterday and I prayed and prayed for my ex and mother in law.


I hope you can develope a support network other that your MIL. Maybe join some type of a small group at your church if its a large one.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Left With 4.5 said:


> Thank you everyone. It does hurt. Hurts really bad to know that he's so into himself and his MOW that he doesn't give a sh*t about the mother of his children. But then again, this is the same guy that didn't shed a tear at his father's two funeral.
> 
> There's nothing I can do about it and I am blessed that I have amazing support from my children. My oldest had to take a day off from school to take me to the hospital and back because my MIL refused to take me after finding out that the doctor had changed my check in time to an earlier time. I found out she went shopping...
> 
> I was in church yesterday and I prayed and prayed for my ex and mother in law.


If you MIL goes shopping with full knowledge of what you are going through, it is time to cut her out of your life. People like that are their own type of cancer. You need strong, loving, sincere people around you. Your oldest is a gem. Give him a hug from us.


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## mallycoo (Oct 22, 2012)

Left With 4.5 said:


> When I first found out I have early stages of cervical cancer, my oldest son was scared and called his father. My son asked his dad if he could extend the health insurance for a couple of months because "mom just found out that she has cervical cancer". The father said 'sure' and that he will talk to mom (me).
> 
> I never heard a peep out of him.
> 
> ...


That's just disgusting! I'm very upset and disappointed by my wife leaving me and seeing someone else so quickly but if anything like this happened she knows I would be worried and I know she would be worried about me if the roles were reversed, I mean she was even asking how I felt when I had flu a week ago, perhaps somewhat out of guilt but it put's things in perspective.

I just can't imagine how someone could act that way, some things are just so serious you set aside your differences and compassion takes over.

Not only are you the mother of his children but it's like all that time you were in his life and none of it means enough to even ask if you're ok!


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I just wanted to throw my best wishes into the mix. I had a LEEP and a cone biopsy last Monday, so I feel your pain! Literally 

I hope your results come back all clear. I'm pretty thankful that they didn't find any full-blown cancer in the pathology. High grade pre-cancer cells, higher grade than what they'd found before--but no cancer and the margins were clear. I'm sure your results will be just as positive!

Take care of yourself!


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> If you MIL goes shopping with full knowledge of what you are going through, it is time to cut her out of your life. People like that are their own type of cancer. You need strong, loving, sincere people around you. Your oldest is a gem. Give him a hug from us.


Yes, my oldest is a real gem and I am very proud of how he is growing up.

I live with my MIL and as soon as my papers are finalized, I am moving my kids out of that house. My kids and I can not live in this environment anymore. It's not healthy.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

mallycoo said:


> That's just disgusting! I'm very upset and disappointed by my wife leaving me and seeing someone else so quickly but if anything like this happened she knows I would be worried and I know she would be worried about me if the roles were reversed, I mean she was even asking how I felt when I had flu a week ago, perhaps somewhat out of guilt but it put's things in perspective.
> 
> I just can't imagine how someone could act that way, some things are just so serious you set aside your differences and compassion takes over.
> 
> ...


*This is why I was hurt. 22 years together and I'm not even worth an 'Are you OK?' or any acknowledgement. *


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

COGypsy said:


> I just wanted to throw my best wishes into the mix. I had a LEEP and a cone biopsy last Monday, so I feel your pain! Literally
> 
> I hope your results come back all clear. I'm pretty thankful that they didn't find any full-blown cancer in the pathology. High grade pre-cancer cells, higher grade than what they'd found before--but no cancer and the margins were clear. I'm sure your results will be just as positive!
> 
> Take care of yourself!


How are you feeling?


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

I spent most of my morning talking to my insurance company about switching from a family plan to a personal plan. Boy, it's so confusing and expensive! I have a 'pre existing' condition, so it may take them a while to approve. I pray that everything comes out okay and that I don't have to get a hysterectomy or worse.

I'm still doing the ginger shots, green juices, and new eating lifestyle to take care of my body. Wish i was more consistent with the new eating lifestyle though. lol


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Left With 4.5 said:


> How are you feeling?


Still hurts and the bleeding came back full force yesterday. I'm pretty frustrated at this point, but apparently it's all part of the process. I may email the doc today though. There were some complications during the procedure and so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or if I'm a big wimp or what. But today I'm definitely feeling frustrated with it all 

How are you doing with the after-effects?


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

COGypsy said:


> Still hurts and the bleeding came back full force yesterday. I'm pretty frustrated at this point, but apparently it's all part of the process. I may email the doc today though. There were some complications during the procedure and so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or if I'm a big wimp or what. But today I'm definitely feeling frustrated with it all
> 
> How are you doing with the after-effects?


I had two days where it was really uncomfortable and had to take ibuprofen every 6 hours. I'm better now. I notice that the more active I am, the more I bleed. I have 4 kids, so resting isn't really something I can do more than a couple minutes at a time.


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## MandyPoo (Mar 19, 2013)

Left With 4.5 said:


> I had two days where it was really uncomfortable and had to take ibuprofen every 6 hours. I'm better now. I notice that the more active I am, the more I bleed. I have 4 kids, so resting isn't really something I can do more than a couple minutes at a time.


I know you want to try natural and herbal remedies. They're great to use in conjunction with your prescribed treatment. However, you should use them with caution and discuss with your doctor all forms of alternative medicine you intend to use. Ginger supplements increase your risk of bleeding. Ibuprofen reduces your blood's ability to clot thereby also increasing bleeding. Be careful of using both items together in the presence of a recent surgical incision in such a highly vascular area. 

Also, should you need it, the Breast and Cervical Cancer Treatment Act of 2000 has mandated resources to extend Medicaid coverage to those who can't afford treatment. Under the Hill-Burton Hospital Program, hospitals constructed using federal funds are required to provide some services to cancer patients who can't afford to pay. The National Cancer Institute's Cancer Information Service has a hotline which can direct you to additional programs that offer assistance. Hopefully, you won't need any to use of these programs but, if you do, they do exist.

Best of luck! I hope you are well and will remain so.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

MandyPoo said:


> I know you want to try natural and herbal remedies. They're great to use in conjunction with your prescribed treatment. However, you should use them with caution and discuss with your doctor all forms of alternative medicine you intend to use. Ginger supplements increase your risk of bleeding. Ibuprofen reduces your blood's ability to clot thereby also increasing bleeding. Be careful of using both items together in the presence of a recent surgical incision in such a highly vascular area.
> 
> Also, should you need it, the Breast and Cervical Cancer Treatment Act of 2000 has mandated resources to extend Medicaid coverage to those who can't afford treatment. Under the Hill-Burton Hospital Program, hospitals constructed using federal funds are required to provide some services to cancer patients who can't afford to pay. The National Cancer Institute's Cancer Information Service has a hotline which can direct you to additional programs that offer assistance. Hopefully, you won't need any to use of these programs but, if you do, they do exist.
> 
> Best of luck! I hope you are well and will remain so.


Thank you MandyPoo for all the great info! Also thank you for pointing out about the ginger shots and ibuprofen. I had no idea!

I will look into those assistance programs for just in case.


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## reubsky (Mar 21, 2013)

please be strong, you are good person and tough


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

How are you doing?


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

smallsteps said:


> How are you doing?


Thank you for asking. I have a check up appointment on Friday. I applied for personal health insurance over the weekend to start on April 1st. I hope i get approved as I have a pre-existing condition. 

How are you, Small?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Left With 4.5 said:


> Thank you for asking. I have a check up appointment on Friday. I applied for personal health insurance over the weekend to start on April 1st. I hope i get approved as I have a pre-existing condition.
> 
> How are you, Small?


It's a blessing you are applying for insurance now - rather than in about 9 months.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Left With 4.5 said:


> Thank you for asking. I have a check up appointment on Friday. I applied for personal health insurance over the weekend to start on April 1st. I hope i get approved as I have a pre-existing condition.
> 
> How are you, Small?


I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. I'll check with you over the weekend to see how you did. How long before they let you know about the insurance?

I'm doing okay. I have my ups & downs but seem to be coping better. I had to deal with some financial issues with WH over last weekend & it bothered me a bit. Then he texted my daughter about the income taxes so its a little much - having to deal with him is bad enough but him & money forget it.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

I got an email last night that the insurance I applied for got DENIED. I just got off the phone with my ex's HR. I was informed that COBRA will cost $651 a month. I guess I will have to use that. Was hoping I get a better rate thru Kaiser itself. 

I'm calling the membership department at Kaiser and see if there was a mistake in the application.

In the meantime, a friend of mine suggested Medi-Cal. No idea what it is or how it works.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Wishing you the best, Left. I hope you're able to get insurance through your state. Sounds like MandyPoo gave you some great info and ammunition. 

(((hugs)))


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Wishing you the best, Left. I hope you're able to get insurance through your state. Sounds like MandyPoo gave you some great info and ammunition.
> 
> (((hugs)))


Thanks Angelpixie. Yes, MandyPoo had some real great info and i have been looking it all up.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Left With 4.5 said:


> I got an email last night that the insurance I applied for got DENIED. I just got off the phone with my ex's HR. I was informed that COBRA will cost $651 a month. I guess I will have to use that. Was hoping I get a better rate thru Kaiser itself.
> 
> I'm calling the membership department at Kaiser and see if there was a mistake in the application.
> 
> In the meantime, a friend of mine suggested Medi-Cal. No idea what it is or how it works.


I'm so sorry - I hope you get good news on Friday. I don't know about over there but where I am blue cross has a "basic" plan - I guess its for emergencies & big issues. Do they have something like that?


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Left With 4.5 said:


> I got an email last night that the insurance I applied for got DENIED. I just got off the phone with my ex's HR. I was informed that COBRA will cost $651 a month. I guess I will have to use that. Was hoping I get a better rate thru Kaiser itself.
> 
> I'm calling the membership department at Kaiser and see if there was a mistake in the application.
> 
> In the meantime, a friend of mine suggested Medi-Cal. No idea what it is or how it works.


4.5: My fellow LW wife (ex!) buddy: I work in individual underwriting for a Health Insurance Co. What was the condition? Are you on any regular meds? Any surgeries in the past 5 yrs? PM me and I'll give you my input on why and if, etc.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

So here's the latest. My divorce got finalized a week ago. Insurance ended on the March 31st. Personal insurance through Kaiser, Denied. Going with COBRA for $651 a month.

I went to my check up on Friday and found that my cervical cancer was taken out and gone. BUT my uterus still have precancerous cells. Doctor recommend that I go ahead and get my hysterectomy and scheduled me for May 2nd. 

I can't imagine me being down for a couple of weeks because I am always on the go and always on the road taking my 4 kids here and there. I don't know what i'm going to do for help and hate to have my boys step up again and take care of things for me.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

OMG 4.5. Your poor thing as if you haven't been through enough.

A small blessing you took the Cobra. Obamacare will be here soon and I checked what I will pay $450 a mth, and you're the same age so it should be the same. No underwriting or previous conditions will be taken into account.

Lean on your sweet kids just a little bit to help you through, ok?

Wish I was there to lend you a helping hand


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

4.5 I'm so sorry!!! I know- we hate to lean on our kids - its just not in our nature but sometimes we have to. They'll be alright. You are their mom.
I'm so sorry I didn't check in. Please know you're in my prayers & I'm here (we're all here) for you while you go through this - even if its just to vent to us when you need us!


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

From a medical perspective, the laparascopic hysterectomy is much friendlier to the patient than the old method.

And, the recovery times are much quicker.

Are they planning on taking the ovaries?

If not, you should bounce back quickly with no need for hormonal supplements.


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

Left With 4.5 said:


> I got an email last night that the insurance I applied for got DENIED. I just got off the phone with my ex's HR. I was informed that COBRA will cost $651 a month. I guess I will have to use that. Was hoping I get a better rate thru Kaiser itself.
> 
> I'm calling the membership department at Kaiser and see if there was a mistake in the application.
> 
> In the meantime, a friend of mine suggested Medi-Cal. No idea what it is or how it works.


In know it is a way's off, but re: health insurance, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act’s (ACA) major health coverage expansion takes effect Jan. 2014. Enrollment will begin in Oct. 2013 for coverage beginning Jan. 2014. At this time health plans will no longer be allowed to deny anyone coverage based on pre-existing health conditions. Uninsured or underinsured individuals and families without employer-sponsored health plans will be able to either: a) purchase coverage (with sliding scale subsidies for uo to 400% of the federal poverty level) through a state or federally-run Marketplace (also referred to as an Exchange), or b) for states that opt in to the Mediciad expansion, enroll in new Medicaid coverage if their income is less than 133% FPL (around $15,000 for an individual). 

If you are in California, definitely see if you can qualify for Medi-Cal. California is an early adopter of health care reform, and already has many of the consumer affordability and access protections in place.

Further details available (and you can sign up for updates) at:
Home | HealthCare.gov

Cheers, - A12 (who follows this stuff for a living)


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

4.5 my heart is just breaking for you. But all has been caught and you will make it through the recovery with lightening speed.
Lean on your fabulous kids. It won't be for long, and they probably like the idea that they can be there for you during all this, even if they never say it out loud.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Conrad said:


> From a medical perspective, the laparascopic hysterectomy is much friendlier to the patient than the old method.
> 
> And, the recovery times are much quicker.
> 
> ...


That's good to hear. The doctor is planning on taking the tubes and uterus, leaving the ovaries in.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Just checking in, LW4.5. How are you doing?


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Just checking in, LW4.5. How are you doing?


Thank you for asking, Angel. Lots going on. Mainly getting everything in order so I wont have to worry much during my down time. I got my neighbor to take my daughter to school everyday and my son will pick her up. My little one will just hang out and keep me company. I got my COBRA insurance in order, so right now, everything is going the way it should.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Excellent! I hope everything goes well, and that your recovery is speedy! ((hugs))


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Thanks! I hope my recovery is speedy too!


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

You have certainly had a lot on your plate to deal with, hopefully this "all" will be over soon and you can look forward to a Long and happy life.
Wishing you a speedy recovery and many blessings!


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## MandyPoo (Mar 19, 2013)

Hey! Hope all is well. Let us know how you're doing when you can.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Hi everybody. I went in for my pre-op today. Looks like I'm going to get a Laparoscopic surgery. I am relieved that I'm not getting the other one. My biggest worry was my down time. I have 4 kids...I know they're old enough to take care of themselves, but still.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

My surgery is on May 2nd. Hopefully if everything goes well, I can go home the same day.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Left With 4.5 said:


> My surgery is on May 2nd. Hopefully if everything goes well, I can go home the same day.


Everything will - positive thoughts!!!!!!!


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Just wanted to say good luck tomorrow!!!!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Prayers from Texas' Brazos Valley! Our Heavenly Father will be with you every step of the way, Lefty! Just place and keep your steadfast trust in Him!


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Thinking of you, 4.5! I hope everything goes well. <3


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

Praying that everything goes smoothly for you!!!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

smallsteps said:


> Everything will - positive thoughts!!!!!!!


:iagree::iagree:


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

I'm thinking of you dear girl! Hope everything does fine, which it will. Be brave, we'll all be here when you get back !!!


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Just wanted to check in - how are you feeling?


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Hi Everybody! Thank you for all the kind words. The surgery went well yesterday. It was done pretty quickly and I was not in much pain. The hospital had to keep me until I went potty to make sure my bladder was working. It took FOREVER! But it finally happened and I got home around 8pm. 

I'm doing well and are able to walk around without much pain or help. I do feel tired though. 

**On another note, my ex had papers served to me the day BEFORE I went into surgery (I'll put this on my Falling to Square one post). He wants to take the kids 50% and give me 0% spousal. I'm supposed to go to Mediation next Thursday. I was worried that I wouldn't make it but right now, if my recovery keeps going the way it is, I think I can make it.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

I wanted to add that when I came home and turned on my phone. I got a text from my ex. He actually wished me luck and said that he would be thinking of me all day. It was nice, but shocking because all this time, he had never acknowledged any of my health issues. Not even last week when I told him what day I was going into surgery.


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

Hi LW4.5 -

So glad to hear the surgery went well and you are on the mend! I'm sorry you have to be dealing with the STBXH stuff on top of recovering from your procedure. How do you feel about his proposal, and do you plan to counter in mediation?

Best Regards,- A12


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

So glad to hear everything went well & you're feeling okay!! As for your ex wtf?? But I'll jump over to your other thread lol!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Left With 4.5 said:


> Hi Everybody! Thank you for all the kind words. The surgery went well yesterday. It was done pretty quickly and I was not in much pain. The hospital had to keep me until I went potty to make sure my bladder was working. It took FOREVER! But it finally happened and I got home around 8pm.
> 
> I'm doing well and are able to walk around without much pain or help. I do feel tired though.
> 
> **On another note, my ex had papers served to me the day BEFORE I went into surgery (I'll put this on my Falling to Square one post). He wants to take the kids 50% and give me 0% spousal. I'm supposed to go to Mediation next Thursday. I was worried that I wouldn't make it but right now, if my recovery keeps going the way it is, I think I can make it.


Of COURSE you can make it. You can do anything!
Moving around is good and I'm sure the MD said it will help you recover, but still, take it easy. Drink lots of water, that should help recovery too.
We're always here for you.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi, 4.5- It's been a while since you've checked in. How are you doing?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Hi, 4.5- It's been a while since you've checked in. How are you doing?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hi angelpixie- I'm doing well. It's been a little over 2 weeks since my surgery and I am able to get around now. I take it easy because if I don't, my body tells me...especially in the morning. I get this strange prickly feeling every now and then that feels like cramps. Doctor says it's part of the healing process. 

How are you?


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Good! Glad to hear you're healing up. Definitely don't overdo it. How's the prognosis? Any follow-up treatment scheduled?

I'm hanging in there, thanks for asking. Still working on the whole moving around and unpacking process in my house. My right elbow has taken a beating the last 2 months and it's starting to protest on a regular basis. This 'getting old' thing sucks, lol. 

Keep us updated! ((hugs))


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Good! Glad to hear you're healing up. Definitely don't overdo it. How's the prognosis? Any follow-up treatment scheduled?
> 
> I'm hanging in there, thanks for asking. Still working on the whole moving around and unpacking process in my house. My right elbow has taken a beating the last 2 months and it's starting to protest on a regular basis. This 'getting old' thing sucks, lol.
> 
> Keep us updated! ((hugs))


I will have to get checked every 3 months for a year, then 6 months the next and then every year after that. Doctor looked around while in surgery and didn't find anything else other that what was taken out, so that is good news. 

I agree, the 'getting old' really does suck. I can't lift anything for another 4 weeks and I feel so useless and helpless. Not to mention my IT band has been acting up.


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

How are you doing emotionally, I just went through a recent scare with breast cancer but biopsy was benign. I thought about you because:
1) Your experience with insurance: right now I’m still under stbxh insurance but wondered if I needed surgery if I would be and if new insurance would cover me because it was a pre-existing condition? 
2) Emotionally, how hard to be facing all this without the support of the person you loved for all those years and If remember correctly, he didn’t even come to the hospital in the beginning to see you and your mother-n-law and daughter were being your soul support.
It seems like you are being tremendously strong!


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

doureallycare2 said:


> How are you doing emotionally, I just went through a recent scare with breast cancer but biopsy was benign. I thought about you because:
> 
> I'm glad your breast cancer is benign. That's good news.
> 
> ...


doyoureallycare - I am far from being a strong person. I get emotional all the time and even though the doctors told me that my cancer was taken out, I'm scared about the what ifs. Right now, i'm taking a little step at a time. I can't make any big steps right now because i'm not ready emotionally, but in time, I know I can do it. Gotta think positive, right? :ezpi_wink1:


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

You are stronger than you know, 4.5. The pathetic, weak person is the one who serves papers to his wife the day before her surgery. He should be ashamed. 

I'm so glad your MIL was there for you. I hope some more people are able to help you out when you need to go to your appointments. And most of all, I hope your healing goes smoothly and quickly. Sending my positive thoughts your way. ((hugs))


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Glad you had good news on your biopsy, too, DYRC2!! ((hugs)) to you, too!


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

You made me cry 4.5. I can put myself there in your shoes and my heart breaks for you. The loneliness and lack of support can be the hardest thing especially when you’re feeling scared and confused. The good thing is that if he had been with you, all you would have had was the support of a sniveling, mean hearted coward. What does that mean in the long run? I don’t know what your faith is but I hope Instead that you were/are comforted with the knowledge that you have a God that loves you and wraps his arms around you in unconditional love and support. xxoo


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

So glad to hear you're on the mend and that the news has been good. I cannot believe how strong you are-and you are, regardless of how you feel. I tell my girls that being brave does not mean that you never get scared, it means you have the presence of mind to act even when you are scared. Look at what you are doing!
Sending many (((hugs)))


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

doureallycare2 said:


> You made me cry 4.5. I can put myself there in your shoes and my heart breaks for you. The loneliness and lack of support can be the hardest thing especially when you’re feeling scared and confused. The good thing is that if he had been with you, all you would have had was the support of a sniveling, mean hearted coward. What does that mean in the long run? I don’t know what your faith is but I hope Instead that you were/are comforted with the knowledge that you have a God that loves you and wraps his arms around you in unconditional love and support. xxoo


Thank you. I do have faith in God and I believe that everything happens for a reason.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> So glad to hear you're on the mend and that the news has been good. I cannot believe how strong you are-and you are, regardless of how you feel. I tell my girls that being brave does not mean that you never get scared, it means you have the presence of mind to act even when you are scared. Look at what you are doing!
> Sending many (((hugs)))


Thank you Pluto. ((hugs)) to you too.


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