# Is there a point????



## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

As the topic suggests,I wanted to ask is there a point in knowing details of what actually is the reason the STBXH started asking for a divorce so vehemently????My marraige ahs been roller coaster all around???Had always been a doormat kind of person,low self-esteem and waiting for him all the time(years of separation in btw) ,false reconciliation then again demand for devorce from his side;;;;

I did not have the energy to now why he is again adamant in leaving me,whetehr it is just our quarrels or he is actually after some woman;;was so weak,I could not take it anymore;;;;;After 2 months of begging,said yes to the divorce;;Am not crying,not weeping anymore;;;

Sometimes I get violently angry and feel used(11 years wasted ,met him when I was 18);;;;
But I feel no emotion at all;;;I want to be peaceful adn satrt a frsh life;;;Have no esire of finding anybody again;;;;have just become so disinterested in everything;;;;;

Do not want to see him again for the final divorce hearing;;;;
I fear that though Ihave followed the actual 180 .Want no reconciliation,am bent to start a fresh life, but still I find an emptiness inside me;;;;;I am actually so surprised to see that I am so strong and not the crying baby I was earlier;;;I did no know I had this in me;;;;Its difficult sometime sthough and I feel the tough appearance is just a false phase and I will break down;;;Then I force myself not to think negative nad pull myself to start a happy ,healthy life again.....

Anyone felt the same like this????


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## BigMac (Oct 29, 2012)

180 suggest not to. Why do you care ?

If you get the entire truth it may make you worst then it is already!

Here I'll quote HM64

"Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot. Never ever insist yourself on someone who continuously over looks your worth."


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## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

Thanks Big Mac!!!I liked the quote and it is very true;;

Zappy, I am not comfortable talking over phone;;Thats way to personal;;;;We can discuss here openly in the forum ;;And there are many wise people to get various opinions;;;;I have been visiting the site for some time now and it has helped me reading and talking to other people like this;;;


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## lostinspaces (Oct 22, 2012)

Jmb - I feel the same way and have a similar situation. Been together 12 years (also met young) and find myself wondering how I could have chosen so wrong and wasted so much of my life. I feel like I would have to fast-track life at this point if I wanted the family I always dreamed of. 

I also would like to know what happened to lead to where the stbxw and I are today (what's she has told me doesn't add up to anything a normal person would divorce over - especially without ever talking about it) ... But the question is: does it matter? Would you believe them if they told you? With all the dishonesty would you ever feel you got a real explanation from them? 

No. I think at this point the only option is to try to focus on the future.


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## Can't believe it's over (Oct 6, 2012)

I saw this today and thought I would share.

If you stay in the company of anger, pain or hurt, happiness will find someone else to visit. Make a choice to view all of your past relationships as a gift. Throw out what hasn't worked in the past and incorporate new concepts. Focus on being happy.. unknown


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