# Wife completely forget weekend plans with family



## MidwestMan (Mar 11, 2011)

Just to start off, I want to say that this isn't a major issue. This is one of those small bumps in the highway of marriage. I'm quite sure by next week I'll be over this.

But for now... I don't know how to deal with my feelings. And to some of you this is going to see so trivial.

But here it is.

Our family had not had any real vacation plans at all this summer. Myself and the 3 girls (9,11,12) were all in a community play together that pretty much killed May through late July. Also we had made the decision last year to go to Walt Disney World in the fall. So we were saving all of our money toward that. So as I said, we had not done anything the summer other than traveling to visit friends and family. The one thing that we were all looking forward to was the company picnic put on by my employer. They rest out the local amusement park for the entire day and it is just company employees there. Catered food, free "money", short lines. All of us were so looking forward to it all summer. Every time there was a discussion about not being able to do something we always said "well, there is always the company picnic at the end of summer." And this year we were super psyched because "Momma" got to go with us. My wife works at a local hospital and normally works every 6th weekend. However for the past several years that weekend has always fallen on the same day as the company picnic.

So it came as a huge shock last night when we were sitting around talking and one of the girls asked my wife if she worked the next day. (She usually has off one day a week and had been off that day.) My wife said that she did not have to work the next day. So I asked her how she managed that. And she that she traded with someone at work for Sunday. Sunday being the day of the company picnic. 

I was in shock. I explained to her that day was the company picnic. She said that she was sorry but there was nothing she could do now. And it wasn't like I didn't tell her the date. As soon as I found out from work when it was I emailed and texted her the date. I had put the date in our online calendar. And we had talked about it for months. How could she forget that date?

I don't believe she did it on purpose. But I can't help but be mad, frustrated, disappointed, sad, upset, confused, etc. On top of that, my wife is acting like this isn't a big deal and I shouldn't be upset about it. 

So now on top of having all these emotions I don't feel like I can discuss them at all with my wife. 

So I came here to vent. With the hope that if I wrote down my frustrations I'd feel a little better. And like I said, in the big view of things this isn't a big deal. But for right now, it hurts.

Thanks,

Steven


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## RoseRed (Aug 27, 2011)

Rest assured it is not trivial... feelings never are!

My take on it...

Firstly... what an awesome company picnic... a whole amusement park all to yourselves! My experiences in that realm have been same picnic park, same caterer, same game and rides always geared to children 5 - 9 yrs old. The menfolk just huddle around with beers and talk only of work, and in the women's circles, they ***** about their hubbys just talking about work. I land up following my youngest son, 7, around the activities, meanwhile my two older teens are bored outa their skull... and want to go home. Year in year out... I explained this to hubby... and the teens and I politely declined the invitation.

Perhaps your wife just isn't interested in your employers social activities.. Perhaps it just slipped her mind for her scheduling... you mentioned that you talked about this for weeks, placed in numerous calendars, did she take a keen interest in it or did you translate your excitement to the entire family?

Either way it was a miscommunication. An open, honest, gentle discussion about the situation will go a long way. In the big picture, if it was an honest scheduling error, express your sadness and that she will be missed, or if she is truly not interested in your employers social activities, would you want her to attend and be miserable?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Is this a pattern or a one time event? If she is a great wife and mother, then you should ignore this.

If she is constantly putting work before wifing and mothering, then you should say something. I would suppress the emotions of hurt, sad, upset... And deliver it to her as "I'm disappointed that you are the type of woman who would put work ahead of her family and her marriage". Then, talk to your kids and remind them what a great time you will be having and do not act like you care if your wife is coming or not. Your wife needs to see that she can either be an active part of the family or be dismissed from it.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

With just the information given it appears that she forgot.

You planned this so far in advance it lost its context. That happens. It may have helped if you reminded her in more recent times.

Do you spend much time with your wife? Or is it all about the girls?

Older threads for reference:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-c...ger-wants-do-household-chores.html#post307725

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/22998-issues-wife.html#post274055


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