# When did you stop wearing your wedding ring?



## JustCallMeGirl (May 17, 2010)

I'm just curious to know when you stopped wearing your wedding ring? At the point of separation? When the divorce is filed or served? After the divorce is final?


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I threw mine into the garden when we separated. I went and looked for it a while later but couldn’t find it. Reckon I’m going to have to buy another one just to keep the women at bay, joking of course.

It’s strange though when we were together I would bring attention to my wedding ring if I came in contact with a woman I could spend time with, like a defence against myself in case I was tempted. I think I should wear one though because I’m certainly not available and wont be for a while.

Maybe when to take it off just depends on how we feel and it’s nothing to do with the legality of the process. If you feel available and ready to start a new relationship then a wedding ring will put the good guys off of approaching you.

Bob


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## josh1081 (Jul 10, 2009)

I actually stopped wearing my ring well before separating...it was a work thing. Then when she asked for a separation I started wearing it again, I don't know if it was a feeble attempt to get her to love me or what. Then after awhile I just took it off. It was just making me sad and having no positive effects. My wife wore her rings during everything. She took them off to clean them once, we moved, and she has no clue where they're at now. That hurts my feelings that they were so easily discarded, but hey, so was the marriage and my feelings 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

I never took mine off over almost 15 years of marriage. Even after my stb-xw blindsided me at our daughter's soccer game Oct 09 and had me served with divorce papers I still kept my ring on. I fought to save our marriage until Thanksgiving 09 when I found out she was not being faithful. I took it off immediately and have not worn in since.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

AFter having my wedding ring on for 15 years and never taking off, wearing with pride, and after separation for about 2 months, the ocean claimed it.

I had lost a lot of weight and it just slipped off in the ocean when I was swimming.

I guess God was telling me something.


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## Needy_Wife (Mar 10, 2010)

I took my rings off about a month ago (I've been moved out for almost 4 months now). I wore them as long as I did just because he didn't want everyone to know what was going on. 
Then one day we got into a huge fight and he was screaming at me because I called him out on something HE did...and that is not how a man should treat his wife, and certainly in the circumstances we were in...so I took them off, put them back into the box they came in, and I buried them deep into my closet. 
Its sad, because I still attempt to take my rings off every time I go to use lotion, or cook/clean etc etc. Funny how they scream out bad reminders when you still have them on just for show...but how much it hurts when you no longer have them at all


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

Needy - I hear you. I had a habit of turning my gold band on my ring finger. When I took it off - the reason hurt more than not having the ring - but now that time has taken the sting out of the reason, I find that not having the ring is something I miss.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

We were separated, and I continued wearing it. I took it off when I discovered her infidelity.


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## CodeNameBob (Jun 3, 2010)

I wore my ring at all times, lifting weights, wakeboarding, anything I did, when I lost weight I would put on my middle finger when my hands were wet. I took it off when she asked for the divorce and set it on the table because she wasn't wearing hers. Once she left I put it back on and wore it until I found out about the OM. It is now sitting on the fireplace hearth next to our wedding picture.

Thinking about having the words "People lie" engraved on the outside, since she put, "I will love you forever" on the inside.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I wore my ring all the time also--never took it off even to shower. When he moved out of state to be with another woman, I wore them because I was still married. For the two years I worked on myself, tried to end the affair, and tried to save my marriage I wore them because I was still married even if he was moved out. When divorce papers were filed, I put them on my right hand just as a reminder that I wasn't single...but also wasn't married. When the divorce papers were signed and it was finalized, I took them off and had the white gold made into an heirloom necklace for my daughter.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I stopped wearing it after I confronted him on the affair. He stopped wearing his before that claiming his fingers were swollen.....another one of my husband's bulls*** stories


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## Hurtin' unit (Apr 13, 2010)

The morning I left for good, left it on the table with a note giving it to my son. We had two each, one for everyday and very special ones for our wedding day, which we never wore after that. My daughter has the special ring. Sometimes I go to reach for it, but it's not too often now.


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## daisykay (Mar 17, 2010)

I never actually liked my wedding rings, but wore them, up until I had my youngest daughter (who is 3 now) I developed an alergy to gold. I wore them a bit here and there, but they came off completely the day I left my husband (although it has only been a week).


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## Hopeful_wife (Nov 6, 2009)

After I found out he kissed another woman.


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## everantisocial (Jun 29, 2010)

I took mine off the day I found out he had cheated on me, now I regret it as I still think of myself as married to him eventhough we are separated, I miss it so much and it hurts everytime I look at my empty finger, I want so much to put it back on but feel it would be a step backwards.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I would say...do what makes you feel comfortable. 

I couldn't bear the thought of taking off my 25 year old wedding band. Then one day, a month before the divorce, I decided before going to dinner to take it off. It was spontaneous and unplanned.

It didn't feel strange and I told myself that I could always put it back on.

The funny thing, once I took it off...I didn't want to put it on and go "backwards."


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## 4mockingbird (Jul 27, 2010)

He had already taken his wedding ring off and I took mine off after I found out about his EA and was served with divorce papers. The divorce papers gave me the reason to take them off and try to move on. I knew he didn't want to be married to me and I knew I didn't want to stay married/show support to someone who didn't care about me or want to be married to me.


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## alonewife24 (Apr 29, 2010)

I took off my wedding ring as soon i left the house . And found out he cheated on me again . I don't miss it . Iam still thinking what to do with it . He wants them back and its crazy . How things change in life . He has taken all the money and left me with nothing but the rings .


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## IWantLove (Jun 20, 2009)

I wore mine throughout our separation but took them off for good the night he told me our marriage was over. They're buried in the back of my jewelry box, and I haven't put them on since. Maybe I should just sell them now! I have no emotional need for them now.


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## Skuba (Aug 29, 2010)

well, for me, the wound is still new. Wife walked out on me almost 2 weeks ago. The reason isnt as serious as some of the others here, but apparantly it was serious enough to want seperate. We still talk, and see eachother, but I dont really know what she is thinking about or why she wont just come home. But I cant take off the ring, because I feel it makes it too real. She still has hers on when I see her. But I think I will keep it on forever, even if she decides not to come home. I will never remarry and will never let myself get into another serious relationship. You might think Im just saying because the wound is fresh, but before I met my wife, I was hurt once before and I went years and years without letting myself get involved with anyone. As a matter of fact if a girl was talking to me and acted interested, I would always say that Ill go out you, but nothing long term will happen. Anyway, since she walked out on me, my friends have been taking me out and because of this ring, and no wife with me, it seems like it is a magnet for women. Like they want to fix me or something. So, I plan on keeping it on even if its really over, because at least I can get someones attention.


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## healingme (Aug 21, 2010)

The day we separated. That was almost a month ago. I'm pretty well used to it already, but still go to fiddle with it sometimes, or move it out of the way. I noticed my husband has taken his off too just a few days ago.


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## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

I never really wore my wedding ring. I work in a manual labor job and don't wear jewelry. My wife was not wearing hers when I saw her the 2nd week after she left. Made me very sad when I saw that she wasn't wearing it. 

Sounds like a lot of people remove it when they officially let go of their spouse. Hope that is not the case for me.


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## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

I took mine off about 2 weeks after my ex stopped wearing hers. As far as I know, she pawned hers. I plan on taking a trip out to the waterfall we went to on our first date, and tossing it over. It seems fitting to me, that it all ends at the same place it began.


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

*wore one until first marriage was effectively over*

I took mine off in Dec '83, moved out in April '84. 

I felt as if it was strangling me.

I did not put one on for my 2nd marriage, could not stand the thought of putting one on. As it turns out this was a good decision for too many reasons.

Mark


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## olivia234 (Sep 19, 2010)

i took mine off 2 weeks ago when i realised that his lies were turning into bigger lies and that the drinking wouldnt stop so i took them off put them in their original box and there they stay... i feels weird with them off though like there is something missing like i feel kinda naked weird i know


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## Lonely720 (Sep 19, 2010)

I took my ring off a year ago...we're somewhat separated now...I've told him to leave several times because I'm tired of being neglected and used. 

Back to the ring...About a year ago is when I started to get just pi^&ed at him and I didn't feel like I had a marriage partner at all...Didn't feel married, felt more like a mother to him...so I took it off.


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## lost&alone (Sep 13, 2010)

I took mine off immediately after he told me he couldn't do this anymore. Then a couple days later I put them back on, only to take them off once more when he said we were done and he didn’t know if he wanted to work on us. He wasn’t wearing his either. I have since put on a different ring he gave me just to help fill the empty void I felt when I went to twirl it around my finger.


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## separatedmomof3 (Oct 6, 2010)

My husband moved out September 8, 10 and I am still wearing my rings. We have been married for 23 years and together for 29 years, I don't know for sure if I will ever take them off. He is not wearing his anymore....he said he has a calius on his ring finger from playing golf. Our kids have noticed that he is not wearing his ring, they are too upset to ask me or him about it but I see them looking. I have not taken them off in 23 years and I don't plan to any time soon. I am too heartbroken to even think about removing my rings.


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## jeffreygropp (Jun 9, 2010)

I took it off the moment I knew the marriage was done, which was the day after we separated. The ring no longer had any meaning so why wear it?


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## KRinOnt (Oct 19, 2010)

My wife told me she was leaving 8 weeks ago today. She wore hers until 3 weeks ago when she actually moved into her new house with another man. I still wear mine and always will. She can take away almost everything else but she can't take away that.


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

Oct 6th, '10 he told me he dint want to be married anymore and wanted out...he took his ring off that night. I was heartbroken, shocked and lost..... I stopped putting mine on a week ago....today i started fiddling with my ring finger only to realize i didnt have it on...had a huge knot in my throat.... sux.


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## True (Feb 24, 2011)

My wife gave me her ring back when she left me. I was sitting in my car, she was standing outside. As a sort of dramatic gesture I tossed her ring in the car ashtray... but I later fished it out and put it on my pinky finger. I wore it like that for a few weeks, with both hers and mine on my hand, but then she told me she was moving in with her ex boyfriend. A few days after that, I took both of them off and tossed them in my junk drawer. I was one of those people who fiddled with their ring all the time, too, so now I just keep sorta rubbing on my ring finger where it used to be. I still love her very much, but I felt like it was pathetic to keep wearing it when she was already moving in with another guy, only a few weeks after she left me. So off it went.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

I have just reliesed that my W has either taken my wedding ring her when she moved, or thrown it in the rubbish, don't know, it isin't where I left it when she requested I move out.


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

I've just taken mines off. I've worn it only for 8 months. The length of time we've been married before he sideswiped me with the news that he NEEDED to get a divorce. I wasn't ready, but I am also going on 8 months pregnant and starting to show signs of swelling, so maybe my son is telling me something? I don't usually swell up so soon. (btw for anyone wondering and who can't quite figure it out - I got pregnant AFTER the wedding, it wasn't the reason for getting married)
I still hold them, look at it, and cry. My mother passed me her wedding set, and it was made even more special because my husband had bought a little diamond band to go with it. I ball everytime I see it and everytime I don't see it on my finger. I know he no longer wears his. 
So interesting how something so small can hold so much for one person and so little for the next. It was so easy for him to remove his, and I felt like my heart was dying when I took mine off.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

I wear mine to work, that's about it. It will come off for good when the divorce is final. As for her, surprisingly, she still wears it every day. Even when she sees the OM she had an EA with.


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## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

Mine stayed on after I found out about the affair and we separated--it came off the day I filed for divorce.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Crankshaw said:


> I have just reliesed that my W has either taken my wedding ring her when she moved, or thrown it in the rubbish, don't know, it isin't where I left it when she requested I move out.


This is dreadful. As if it doesn't hurt enough to have your marriage break apart. But possibly throwing the ring away in the trash/rubbish is just plain cruel. At the very least offer it back to your spouse or store it away. I think hocking it is also pretty cruel but I guess maybe that depends on who was left and who actually did the leaving. I dunno. Just seems to me that something that was an important and meaningful part of your life at one point should be at least respected.

It would have really hurt if I knew my W had thrown hers away.


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## secondtime (Jul 18, 2011)

We've been separated for 3 months, and I still wear mine. Figure I'll take it off when/if - probably when - we get divorced.


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## Albert_32 (Feb 20, 2012)

thought I'd bring back this old thread from the dead...

I took mine off for a while when my wife asked for the divorce, then started wearing it again when she was thinking of R, now that she is sure she wants to go on with D and we are about so separate not sure if I want to keep wearing it, thought that it signals that I'm not available, then again I feel stupid for still wearing it. Not sure what I'm going to do with it when we have our divorce finalized, should I pawn the ring, cast it into the ocean, give it back to her or just flush it down the toilet?


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Wore mine for 13 years and 2 months after I asked for divorce...my 8 year old looked at me one night and pointed to my hand and asked very matter of factly why I still had it on my hand. That was pretty much the only comment he has made about the divorce on his own. It came off that night and alternates between the door handle and ashtray in my car depending on where I'm digging change from. I'll probably keep it. I really like the ring as a symbol if nothing else. Reminds me of 13 years and 3 wonderful kids. I don't look at it and get bad feelings or remember the bad parts of my marriage. Even thought of putting it on a string around my neck Lord of the Rings style but the first two women that heard me say that said "Not if you ever want to date again". LOL


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

When stbxw left the first time she took everything but her rings. That night I gave them back to her. Then when she moved back in I put mine in her jewelry box. After I kicked her out I left it in there even I gave her things back to her. As far as I know its still in there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## worrieddad (Nov 3, 2011)

Stopped wearing mine the day stbx stopped wearing hers, which was shortly after she announced she wanted to quit. Its in her jewellry box at her place with hers....I have no use for it.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I'm a very sentimental person, but on the other hand? When I'm done, I'm done.

I threw my first wedding ring into Corpus Christi Bay.


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## Bitter+Sweet (May 19, 2012)

I'm still wearing mine. It's been 2 weeks since he moved out. His job didn't allow him to wear his at work. He would wear it on the weekend. When he moved out he took it with him...maybe he pawned it. I normally don't wear it at home while I cook and clean but wear it when I leave the house. I purposely didn't where it to church Sunday and I realized I kept fiddling with my ring finger because it wasn't there. I had to make myself stop because I would tear up. If nothing worse happens I guess I will wear it until divorce day. It also keeps people from asking me where it is.


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## kruppmart (May 10, 2012)

The night I found her cheating in the OM bed (today 6 weeks ago), I took the ring off and threw it from the deck into the backyard.


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## momtoboys (Apr 22, 2012)

the second he ended things, i took them off. He ended things 2 months ago and got a gf days later. I pawned them to pay for the divorce once i found out about the girlfriend.


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

I wear mine still after almost 16 months separated. I'm still married. I will take it off the day the divorce is finalized. My husband wears his when he sees us or people he didn't tell. I just feel i want to set a good example for my son.
_Posted via Mobile Deviceant_


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

I stopped wearing mine 5 years ago.. When there was a false R... Thought I'd wear it again when he had proven himself, suppose he never did..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kathrynthegreat (Apr 23, 2012)

He never wore his. He's in a mechanical field and it's an occupational hazard. Most people who do what he does, don't wear rings. As a result I've never felt a huge compulsion to wear mine 24/7. It comes off for yard work, for working out, for washing dishes, and any time it gets hot and my fingers swell. The day after we had *the talk* agreeing it was time to end our marriage, I took mine off and laid it in the cupholder on my treadmill before a run and just never put it back on. It's still there.


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## karilynn (Feb 17, 2010)

I stopped wearing my wedding ring just a couple of weeks ago after my husband told me my 21 year old daughter is no longer welcome in our house - that she lost that right of it being her home when she moved out at 18. That's the day I took it off and it will stay off forever. He told me last night that he wants it back - I was going to argue but decided that I guess I will just give it to him.


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## ImStillHere (Apr 25, 2012)

I stopped wearing mine after I found out about his infidelity. Haven't put it back on since.


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## Mothra777 (Apr 10, 2012)

I took mine off when it was clear that we were 'separated under one roof' ie when she made it clear she did not want to invest the time or energy into saving our marriage. I left it on the kitchen bench and a few days later found she was wearing it on her thumb?! I asked her to explain why and all she did was shed a few tears and hand it back to me. Another of the many mixed signals she has given me during the separation process. She has moved out now and it lives in my drawer collecting dust.


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

I took mine off when said her & I were done 4 weeks into our separation. Its inmy desk drawer, I feel confused because I don't want her to think I don't love her or our marriage,we'll see


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## QualJin (May 26, 2012)

About a week after he asked me for the divorce. I took his and took mine off and told him that his wedding ring was given to him as a token of our love and that if he asked for it back, then he could have it. He's never asked for it back. Neither of us have worn them since.


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## elliotJ (Sep 3, 2012)

Ring = magnet. I need more info on this please


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## Albert_32 (Feb 20, 2012)

ok so I took mine off a few months ago, we are now separated and will divorce soon. so now I am thinking about:

1. sell it in a pawn shop
2. save it and give it to my daughter when shes older (11 yo now) maybe she will appreciate it later in life.

if I sell it I want the stbx to know about it but dont just want to say "hey I pawed my wedding band"... I would like to hear any suggestions.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

I took mine off when I realized we were in a false R after "D" day #3. 

She was doing nothing to help me or us heal so there was no longer a reason to wear it. To me, it represented our love, devotion, honor and fidelity to each other. It was obvious to me that this was now gone. STBXWW followed my lead and stopped wearing hers a couple weeks later. This showed me how little she wanted to fix what she broke.

It is ironic because she never even had the decency to took it off while she was f*****g her POSOM.


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