# troublesome step daughter



## pretty-flower (Dec 12, 2014)

My husband and i hace bene together for awhile we hace 2 kids a 7 year old boy and 5 year old girl we hace rules we hace set for our children we ares note big on showing our kids we love them with money instead we shower them with lote of hugs kisses high fives and Great Job and every once in awhile we get them something they really love when they have earned it to show them hard work pays off. we have a soon to be 11 year old step daughter and when i first met her i has a nice short conversation as she got a little older l let her know that i was there to love her and her dad that if she ever needed anything i would be there that with time she woud ese as time went on i notice she would treta her siblings horrible she would hit kick pinch yell treat them like slaves would break things in my home and blame them she started stealing from me money hair accesorios latinos and so on she lied about almost everything that came out of her mouh when i first notice i told my husband we need to do something nos before it gets worse and he said nothing of course it got worse she became rude disrespectful she was even mena to her dad and he acted nothing so i would talo to her ser if she could tell me anything nothing 4 Yeats alter i could note take it come to find out she is just as bar at her moms house and she does nothing either instado she buys her stuff so on top of Bering a bully liar theif rude disrespectful she has become materialistic so when she comes around we do not take her out Bering a parent is not easy and i juste want to help my husband raise a decent young lady the holidays ares comino and he bought her this beautiful nekclace with two hearts and the meaning for him is that it is his and her heart so beautiful bit i fiel she dos note deserve it and he should hold on to it útil there is a chance a true chance within her how can i explain this to him without i fiel lime we go through the same song and dance why he feels the rules apply for our kids and not her i feel they apply for All please any help any sugestiones...


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My thoughts... The problem is your husband and his ex. Giving her the necklace or not isn't going to make any difference. Until you get him on the same page from a parenting perspective, expect the problems to continue. 

C


----------



## pretty-flower (Dec 12, 2014)

Thank you C I have been trying we do so well with our 2 I don't know why he doesn't see that he needs to be the same with his eldest.. I need the help with him receiving the message


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm a stepmum, and we're having some trouble with our daughter (my stepdaughter) too at the moment, so you have my sympathy OP.

As a result of her appalling behaviour - she's been acting out a LOT, swearing, lying etc. she is going to have a modest Christmas. We're only getting her a couple of things, and we've told her that we've written to Father Christmas and requested that he send most of her presents to a needy child, because they will appreciate them. 

Your husband needs to realise that there has to be one set of rules, for ALL the kids. No exceptions - or what you're getting now is the result. The necklace will only reward her bad behaviour, very bad idea to give it to her now - I'm with you, you should hold off on that until she does something worth rewarding.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If I were you, I'd set up a counseling appointment and tell him he's going with you. Let the counselor talk to him about what he's doing. He'll never listen to you.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think that your husband should give his daughter the necklace. 

She is a young girl whose family was torn apart. A lot of children fear that their parent is replacing them when a parent remarries and then has more children. Her mother probably fills her head with all kinds of anger and remarks about her father, you and your children.

Her father probably feels guilty so he is very lenient with her. 

I think that all of you need get into family counseling. Your stepdaughter has not been properly integreated to her father's new family. You all need a lot of help. You have about 2 years to get her back on track. Once she hits her high school years, if she has this attitude, she going to be awful have around. It is the job of the adults to make blending a family work. If it's not working.. the adults need to look at what they are doing wrong first and learn new ways of helping to bring her into your new nuclear family.

Yes her behavior has to be dealt with, but until some things are fixed in the way your family functions, you will just be butting heads with her.


----------

