# I feel on edge now



## Ginger2 (10 mo ago)

I found out I was pregnant so I told my Dad. I did say he could tell stepmum.
Because to be honest she quite a negative person so didn't want to hear it.
So I haven't had a congratulations at all. I don't expect as from what my DS son said she fallen out with my stepbrother. She hasn't seen her grandkids.
I really don't want to see her face to face for this entire pregnancy as I don't think I can. 
From the way she treated me and I have forgiven over and over this time last chance.
My DS was staying there for a week and was worried she said something nasty to him. Like manipulate him to hate the fact I am pregnant. Although my DS seemed weird he okay now.
I just don't need the stress tbh.

Have any of you dealt with an awful step parent? What would you do?


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

do your own thing , you can pick your friends you can't pick in-laws


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Ginger2 said:


> Have any of you dealt with an awful step parent? What would you do?


What I personally focus on is acceptance (of reality - how things actually are, as opposed to how I would like them to be), forgiveness (genuine forgiveness from the heart, so that no bitterness grows), and moving on to create a satisfying life for myself.

Each of us deals with difficult people, but it’s good to hold onto to some grace and understanding, because we’ve also been difficult to others at some point. I’m most certainly a difficult person. 😬 

We can have people in our lives without sharing any sort of intimacy. If there are those in your family who’ve shown themselves to be untrustworthy, then it’s okay to keep your distance. Not in a self-righteous way, but maybe try to think of them as broken. More - ‘this person is hurting, and I can show them kindness and mercy, while acknowledging that they really aren’t in a position to be in my inner circle of care. I wish them the best, but it wouldn’t be wise for me to engage with any sort of depth.’

A person with a noisy soul (negative, angry, etc) is limited in their ability to be a comfort to others. They have to be willing to deal with themselves first (in order to change), and I believe many (if not most) simply find the discomfort of reality too unbearable.

Thinking this way is a very slow process (at least it has been for me 😅), but if you’re willing to work through your thoughts, it really helps, and it makes relationships less of an ‘us verses them’, and by being willing to give up control of an uncontrollable situation/dynamic, your personal peace will grow.

And congratulation! 🤗💕


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## Lynnevicious (Apr 25, 2021)

I have dealt with a vicious stepmother. For the last 30+ years. When I was younger, I took the emotional beating to keep peace with my father. As time went on and I had my own children, and she treated them terribly, I told my father I cannot have her in my life in any capacity as she was extremely toxic. The day I did it I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders and it’s not been at least 15 years. I recommend it lol!


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You have the right to ignore.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

She just sounds like a negative, toxic person. Nothing to do with being your stepmum, plenty of bio parents and relatives who are just the same. You don't have to keep contact with anyone who drags you down like that.


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## Rayr44 (6 mo ago)

If my mother gave me birth on the steps would she be my step mother?


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