# Mans perspective?



## AmWhoIam (Sep 21, 2011)

I am new here but I am starting to lose it, please someone give me some advise?? Brief overview, my husband and I have been married 5 years on Friday. We have had our problems, mostly with him. Even he admits I deserved better, he has done somethings that have caused some trauma to my life. I have always stuck by him though. After returning from Iraq things were much better. We decided to buy a house and have a baby. When our son was 3 months old he started becoming distant. Eventually he said that he wanting a separation, he wanted some independence and to not have to answer to someone for a while. I was devistated. Almost overnight I became a single mom, forced to go back to my job and put my son in daycare, lost my house and husband. He came by about once a week to see the baby. The entire time he has mantained that we are together, he loves me, he is just struggeling. He says he wants to want to be married... I am not sure how I am suppose to take that 5 years into a marriage. He picks up our now 11 month old from daycare twice a week for a few hours until I get home but I still do it mostly on my own and he rarely tries to spend time with me/us otherwise. I am always going back and forth threatening divorce. Everytime I bring it up he breaks down in tears and tells me he doesnt want that. Its been 9 months now so I said either divorce or I move back in. He said he he doesnt want a divorce so lets move me back in. But he still seems so distant and disconnected. I am pretty sure he is depressed too. He cries everytime he comes over. When he is here we have great talks then he leaves and never answers his phone, for example I saw him Sunday night, things were good.. still havent heard from him. I am not naive enough to think he wouldnt be seeing someone, but I really dont think thats the case. So at this point I am at a loss. I am trying to do whats best for myself and our son. Part of me thinks that us being back in the house and having people/family around will bring him out of his funk but the other part is terrified that he is still going to be distant and give me no attention or affection. I dont know if I can take another separation and 9 months like ive just been through. And on another note should I give him his space and not get upset if he doesnt talk to me?? He has always been bad about answering his phone or calling me but we have a kid, and we are separated, its a little different. What do I do now? We talked about moving me back in in Nov, which means I need to give my notice soon. And I cant keep going with this separation but together thing. Its divorce or back together. Please help!!!


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## The Count (Aug 14, 2011)

Get him to see a doctor. It sounds like he may have post traumatic stress.


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