# do i let go or fight



## dlp85 (Apr 11, 2010)

I have been with my guy for quite a while, we have a toddler together and lately things have been rocky financially which of course makes things between us tense and stressful. In the past we had an issue with a "friend" of his who i think he was having an emotional affair with, i say emotional because she's in another state but i went through his phone and there were text messages to her saying he loved her, missed her and they were constantly texting and on the phone. He claims shes just a friend and they were kidding, and excuse after excuse. I know it was wrong to go through his phone but something didn't feel right. After a big physical/emotionally ugly fight he agreed not to speak to her. For Valentines I received an invoice from a florist in her city for flowers sent to her for valentines, again he says his friend was sending it to his girlfriend, used his card but she just happens to have the same first name and first letter of last name. Now again recently I found emails going back and forth from each other, he claims he doesn't know anything about them. I can't tell if he's lying. He's an amazing father to our daughter, he does anything for her but my heart is breaking and I don't know what to do. I know it was wrong of me to snoop but I don't know what else to do. I don't whether to believe him and every time I try to talk to him he gets angry and it ends up in a fight.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

It's not wrong to snoop if your partner does things that are not trustworthy. It is your job to protect your relationship.

That said, if you're not married, he doesn't legally have any obligation to you. To his child maybe, but not to you.

Nevertheless, he is lying. Install a keylogger on his computer so you can download their activity, and print out the phone records. Once you have the evidence, tell him you have it and he can either cut ALL contact with her - and you WILL be verifying that - or he needs to move out.


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## confused200 (Mar 16, 2010)

happend to me to but my wife claims these people are friends now when i snooped i didn't find anything extreme like that just pictures with clothing on and simple text messages but what got me was the length of time they talked and mind you they met on a online game all this going on behind my back and my wife gets angry and blows up everytime i tried to ask. also told me that the snooping really hurt her and i should of just asked but come on she got mad last time i did


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## MrsHonea (Apr 12, 2010)

Well, I would ask him one question and be serious " Is this girl something you want to give up your family for? Cause if it is I'm gone and so is our daughter." What gives him the right to lead you along, Ya'll are in a serious relationship, if you wants to go off and be with that woman fine but he cant have both of you. And thats what he wants he wants you both..


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