# Wife wants to sleep out



## evhfla (Jul 7, 2011)

After 4 years of marriage, my wife suddenly wants to sleep out at her sisters on a work day nonetheless simply because her sister's husband is going out of town. Supposedly, she wants to do a girls slumber party. The thing is her sister lives less than 25 minutes aways and she hangs out with her sister all the time. I just don't understand why on a night where she has to go to work the next day, she would need to sleep over her sisters. Beyond that, I know for a fact that her sister's husband would never have allowed her sister to sleep at my house if he was in town. Am i being prehistoric and paranoid that all of sudden after 4 years of marriage, a married woman with a four yearl old son feels the need to sleep at her sisters on a work night. I am very close to my brother, but the thought of going to sleep at my brother's house on a work night and leaving my wife and kid at home has no appeal and would seem weird to me at best. Am I overreacting?


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I wouldn't see anything wrong with this with my wife and her sister. Your wife could be needing a break from the 4 year old. If it was happening on a regular basis, then I might start to wonder.

Are there other things going on that make you question your wife's honesty?


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

evhfla said:


> Am I overreacting?


Without more, I would suggest the answer is "yes".


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## evhfla (Jul 7, 2011)

I guess that I should add that we are in the middle of an almost quaterly ritual where she gets pissed at me about something and she says that she is done with the relationship (not healthy I know). She still sleep in the same bed, obviously with no relations, until she calms down a few weeks later and life usually returns to normal. She has never wanted to sleep out under the guise of a slumber party before.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Yep! She's an adult, and probably wants some time with her sister. Can't really compare your brother to her sister in basic relationship behaviors, either. My wife kisses her sister on the cheek when they meet. I'd die before I did that to my brother on purpose. 

My wife had a really close relationship with her family, and I documented dozens of strange behaviors like that.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

evhfla said:


> I guess that I should add that we are in the middle of an almost quaterly ritual where she gets pissed at me about something and she says that she is done with the relationship (not healthy I know). She still sleep in the same bed, obviously with no relations, until she calms down a few weeks later and life usually returns to normal. She has never wanted to sleep out under the guise of a slumber party before.


What is she upset about? :scratchhead:


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

evhfla said:


> After 4 years of marriage, my wife suddenly wants to sleep out at her sisters on a work day nonetheless simply because her sister's husband is going out of town. Supposedly, she wants to do a girls slumber party. The thing is her sister lives less than 25 minutes aways and she hangs out with her sister all the time. I just don't understand why on a night where she has to go to work the next day, she would need to sleep over her sisters. Beyond that, I know for a fact that her sister's husband would never have allowed her sister to sleep at my house if he was in town. Am i being prehistoric and paranoid that all of sudden after 4 years of marriage, a married woman with a four yearl old son feels the need to sleep at her sisters on a work night. I am very close to my brother, but the thought of going to sleep at my brother's house on a work night and leaving my wife and kid at home has no appeal and would seem weird to me at best. Am I overreacting?


With no other information this seems reasonable to me. So yes you are probably overreacting. 

Do you think she will not be at her sisters? Do you feel this is a cover for some other less than marriage friendly activity?

This is a one time good deal .... right? If her sisters hubby is out of town this makes perfect sense to me.

Normally this would happen over a weekend, but the point is hubby is gone during the week.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I don't see anything wrong with sleeping at her sister's. Granted a slumber party would prob happen for me on a weekend when I'm not working but as long as she's telling you the truth about it it doesn't seem crazy to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lovingwifewannabe (Feb 11, 2011)

evhfla said:


> I am very close to my brother, but the thought of going to sleep at my brother's house on a work night and leaving my wife and kid at home has no appeal and would seem weird to me at best. Am I overreacting?


Without knowing more info, I'd have to say yes. And sleeping over with a sister or best friend is not weird to a woman - maybe its a "girl thing"? I have a good friend that sleeps over all the time when her daughter is at her fathers house. Sounds like she just needs a break and some girl time, and the opportunity presented itself.

It's far more in your best interests to be gracious and encouraging - chances are you'll get a relaxed and refreshed wife back in exchange.


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## evhfla (Jul 7, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## evhfla (Jul 7, 2011)

I guess that I am from an old school of thought u don't sleep out if ur spouse and ur child is at home. Don't get me wrong, if her sister lived far away and she went to spend the weekend to me it would be one thing. For example, she went away for a weekend cruise not that long ago. She has gone and visit her brother in another state for a week. I just don't get being a few minutes away and not wanting to come home to ur family unless u plan on drinking lots of alcohol or you intend some mischievous activity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

evhfla said:


> I guess that I am from an old school of thought u don't sleep out if ur spouse and ur child is at home. Don't get me wrong, if her sister lived far away and she went to spend the weekend to me it would be one thing. For example, she went away for a weekend cruise not that long ago. She has gone and visit her brother in another state for a week. I just don't get being a few minutes away and not wanting to come home to ur family unless *u plan on drinking lots of alcohol or you intend some mischievous activity.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am pretty old school too. That said, this sounds like a real chick thing and even with my vivd imagination I don't see the big issue here. I might if this was often. Her husband being out of town makes sense to me. Do you see this as a chance for them to just go wild? Help a guy out here to see the evil. A bone please.

Is there any reason to believe other than what you have mentioned that there is anything sinister planned?

Let me throw you a curve. At what point in her cycle will she be on that evening? I am really grasping here.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> I am pretty old school too. That said, this sounds like a real chick thing and even with my vivd imagination I don't see the big issue here. I might if this was often. Her husband being out of town makes sense to me. Do you see this as a chance for them to just go wild? Help a guy out here to see the evil. A bone please.
> 
> Is there any reason to believe other than what you have mentioned that there is anything sinister planned?
> 
> Let me throw you a curve. At what point in her cycle will she be on that evening? I am really grasping here.


It's going to be nothing but wearing lingerie, pillow fights and tickling. Happy now? 

To the OP, is it possible that her sister doesn't like to be alone? Hubby going out of town and she wants someone to stay with her? :scratchhead:


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> *It's going to be nothing but wearing lingerie, pillow fights and tickling. Happy now? *
> 
> To the OP, is it possible that her sister doesn't like to be alone? Hubby going out of town and she wants someone to stay with her? :scratchhead:



Oh that is so hot!!!  I knew it!

:rofl:

OP, you know I think you need to just take this risk buddy. Roll the dice. Give your wifey a big hug and passionate kiss ( ten second kiss ) and tell her you are really going to miss her being next to you that night. She should have a good time but not too good without you.


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## evhfla (Jul 7, 2011)

Her sister have a daughter and 2 teenage sons that lives with her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## evhfla (Jul 7, 2011)

So, she can't be that lonely.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

evhfla said:


> Her sister have a daughter and 2 teenage sons that lives with her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok, so she is not totally alone in the house.

But this just makes sense to me that they would want some time together.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

evhfla said:


> So, she can't be that lonely.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If she is lonely for her sister she would be. They want to be away from the husbands and have some sister time. If they did this on the weekend it would take away weekend time from their loving husbands.

Is that not normal?

Sorry as usual I am missing something important here. Let me know if I get close.

You mentioned alcohol. Are your worried about this? Are you worried about her drinking and then going to work?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

evhfla said:


> I guess that I should add that we are in the middle of an almost quaterly ritual where she gets pissed at me about something and she says that she is done with the relationship (not healthy I know). She still sleep in the same bed, obviously with no relations, until she calms down a few weeks later and life usually returns to normal. She has never wanted to sleep out under the guise of a slumber party before.


So the real thing is to figure out what this is about.

Is there anything in particular she gets pissed about? Is it always something different?

You have only been married four years. There are more firsts to come!


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Believe it or not, when I was first married, my wife was from the old school of thought that a man should never want to hang out with his friends from work once and a while. When he has a wife at home, why should he want to? And he's probably only doing it so he can get into trouble?

This should sound completely fair to an old school person, but we learned that it was pushing the boundary of being controlling. Maybe you don't even understand why I would want to hang out with the guys, or even occasionally take a friend on a white water rafting trip overnight, considering that we only live ten minutes apart, but just getting away sometimes revives a person. A woman who enjoys a night of stimulating conversation rarely gets that from a husband. 

You've only been married a few years, so I'm only offering this as something to think about. I'll also lightheartedly shed light on a secret I learned. All of us filter everything we hear through a screen of our own preconceived opinions and history, making judgements as we go. When a woman begins to sense that her husband is doing this to her by default, continuously, and making decisions as to whether her likes and dislikes are acceptable, and meet his standards, there is a little known adndrogen response. These chemicals circulate through her body, making her inner thigh muscles incredibly strong and rigid. Then, over time, getting them to open becomes more dificult than entering Fort Knox.

If you don't trust her, then just ask her why she wants to go. Based on what you've given, there is no reason to suspect that there is a hidden agenda. Embrace and respect the differences that don't impact your marriage boundaries.


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## krazy1707k (Jul 7, 2011)

There appears to be a question of trust here, if you trust her, why not. My partner will often (3 or 4 times a year) go on a girly night out, and stay over at her friends. I trust her implicitly and just like to receive a text to know she's got there safely.


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