# need advice from women about menopause



## Magnus Skills Set (Apr 14, 2016)

I'm the husband. 

I get it and am trying to be supportive. I'm educated on the matter. But her anger makes me sad and feeling down most days. Hard to stay light, happy, life-affirming when she loses it so often now. I know what to do to help HER--listen, stay calm, don't try to solve everything, check out resources, be amazing (please note: I clean more than her, she works 1/4 time, and I raise the kids too), etc. So when the day is done, and my spirits are low again from dealing with all the upset, and she's the only game in town (being my wife and all) but she has checked out again, all upset about whatever and refusing to talk and staring at her computer upstairs.......I'm supposed to do what exactly? Just stare blankly at the TV, reset myself, resolve to stay supportive, be nice the next day (again), and just wait for the inevitable anger from her to rain down on me and the kids? And end up lonely again?

I ask y'all because she's not talking. It feels hopeless.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

No two women will go through menopause the same so you are not really educated on the matter, no one else can sort this out but you and your wife.

Having said that menopause is no excuse to behave badly so maybe give her a few home truths about how negatively she is impacting the home and the family. Don't let her get away with it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I did a thread on Peri...asking others about their experiences.. I think mine is probably on the mild end...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies...ly-sensitive-mood-swings-how-do-you-deal.html

Doesn't seem any 2 women are alike in what they experience either.. I've heard some women glide through these years...and others who've had to see a Doc for Meds to calm them, some need Hormones to feel "alive" again....



















Then to confuse things further...


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I can only give feedback from my mother's perspective, as she shared a lot of her feelings with me. She could not do HRT because she had other health issues that prevented it's use. 

She had amazingly bad mood swings and said there were days she'd just really love to shoot people that p'ed her off. There's a difference between thinking and doing, of course. My mom is an incredible humanitarian. 

She was listening to talk radio one day in the car with me, and there was a female doctor on, talking about the troubles during menopause. It was a slight plug for HRT and the women that could not have it for whatever reason. On and on she goes about how difficult that is for so many women, all the anecdotal stories of her patients, etc. This doctor (going through menopause herself at that time) was asked by the interviewer if she too was also having to go through menopause without HRT. Her reply was instant: "Heck NO, there's no way I could do that, I'd be miserable!! I'd probably kill someone!" My mom turned off the radio, cursing. 

A few days later, there was a sticker on her fridge:


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## Lukedog (Nov 18, 2015)

Being fully post-menopausal myself (I'll be 50 next month) I went through it early. I know this because I have had a rash of recent blood work done and different tests....I was diagnosed with breast cancer right after Christmas. I had an 8mm lump removed and just finished up radiation treatments. The next step for me is Tamoxifin for the next 5 years. Tamoxifin is an Estrogen blocker....GRRRRR!! Women that go through menopause experience a decrease in the amount of Estrogen their bodies produce, and thus experience all different kinds of side effects from this (see the post above). My symptoms were fairly mild, but I tried to do everything to ease and reduce those symptoms through vitamins and homeopathic remedies. I did not want to do HRT.

Try to get your wife to see the discomfort this "situation" is causing you and the family. Get her to her gyno. She needs to own up to it and don't let her get away with her bad behavior. There are remedies. And while they may not totally take away all symptoms, they can help reduce symptoms. She needs to be made aware of all remedies and find ones that work best for her. Good luck!


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