# Considering Seperation



## younglove (Mar 23, 2011)

Hi-
Me and my husband have been married for just over a year. We are continually fighting almost every single day. We have been going out 6 years all together this year and the fighting has been going on for about 2 years-since we moved out together. I have been hoping that it will get better but it just keeps getting worse. He says I am controlling and telling him what to do all the time and I feel he is being disrespectful and unsupportive. Last year we moved over seas to work and I was very homesick and found it hard and he never understands when I am stressed out or upset or angry. He is very laid back and I worry alot. We are very similar yet very different. We have allready tried counseling however the fighting is getting worse to we are abusing each other verbally and emotionally. I get annoyed at him when he doesn't offer support and he gets annoyed at me now for getting upset and stressed etc. We are going through a trial seperation at the moment. I'm not sure where to go from here-we are capable of having a good time together and both don't really want the marraige to end! He won't try counselling again. He keeps telling me I am doing the wrong thing all the time but he can never seem to tell me exactly what it is or if he does he's nasty and aggressive about it which makes me feel horrible!! 
Thanks for your advice!


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## canidothis (Mar 21, 2011)

You have to talk to each other after you have both cooled down. If the verbal and emotional abuse continues. .I don't see a point in continuing the relationship. You have to give each other both time to talk and you both have to listen. If he's having a hard time explaining what is wrong. . ask him to write it down before you talk. I do it pretty often. Many times my husband and I talk. .I have to write things down first. I concentrate so hard on staying calm and not yelling I forget what I want to say or leave things out. It's hard. .a work in progress. But you both have to be willing to work at it and make it better or it will never work.


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