# Kinda embarassing but...penis size



## samdew9

You all can look in my profile if you want to read my whole story. But my wife and I have reconciled and things are better than they have ever been. She has done everything that I have asked (most of it from advice from you all...thank you) But I have still been dealing with the "movies" and a lot of insecurity. Especially when it comes to my manhood. I am someone that needs the details for closure but she has not wanted to give me those details. She would always say that it doesn't matter. That I am the only one that has ever satisfied her sexually and that her one time with the other puke was awful.

But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine. She told me that was why it was awful, that it hurt a lot when he put it inside of her and that (and the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed. But now I am still very insecure about it and have that feeling of "if it was only a little bit bigger" I know that my wife is satisfied when we have sex because I can feel it. But I fall out every so often and think about how small mine is. I also can't seem to shake the thought of him shoving his giant dong into her. Mine was the only one that she ever saw until his. 

Mine is the average size...I googled it, but it just makes me feel inadequate. I don't know how to overcome this. Did any of you guys ever feel like this??? Any of you girls that can shed some light on this to make me feel better??? Or do I have a legitimate concern that I can't change.


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## russell28

Think about it like this.. do you like large boobs better than tiny boobs? Really, they are both pretty nice.. but sometimes the large ones can be kinda gross, and the smaller ones can be kinda pretty... so it's not always about size, but sometimes looks and knowing what to do with it...


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## TheFlood117

oh boy.... Yeah, this is really gonna hurt your reconciliation. You know, I've had a lot of woman. And I've asked about size and some like em' big and some like em' average or even below. Point being, is that it's not a reflection as your skills as a lover or worth as a man if you have a big one or small one or like 92 percent of men an average one. 

Are you guys making love and being intimate? 

I think that's the best advice I can give you. 

Reclaim your woman. Especially if you're reconciling. You do this enough I think the movies will decimate. 

Don't worry about him, he's a punk and a scrub. 

Just think about your wife and you. 

Sorry this happened. Best of luck.


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## samdew9

I think that the thing that bothers me the most is that before the PA (it was already in EA mode) he sent her a picture of his penis. I asked her if she commented on it and compared it to mine. She said yes but cannot remember what was said at all. I just think that she is trying to spare me. But I told her that it's something that I need to know to be able to get past this thing. So maintains that she can't remember.


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## lifeistooshort

samdew9 said:


> You all can look in my profile if you want to read my whole story. But my wife and I have reconciled and things are better than they have ever been. She has done everything that I have asked (most of it from advice from you all...thank you) But I have still been dealing with the "movies" and a lot of insecurity. Especially when it comes to my manhood. I am someone that needs the details for closure but she has not wanted to give me those details. She would always say that it doesn't matter. That I am the only one that has ever satisfied her sexually and that her one time with the other puke was awful.
> 
> But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine. She told me that was why it was awful, that it hurt a lot when he put it inside of her and that (and the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed. But now I am still very insecure about it and have that feeling of "if it was only a little bit bigger" I know that my wife is satisfied when we have sex because I can feel it. But I fall out every so often and think about how small mine is. I also can't seem to shake the thought of him shoving his giant dong into her. Mine was the only one that she ever saw until his.
> 
> Mine is the average size...I googled it, but it just makes me feel inadequate. I don't know how to overcome this. Did any of you guys ever feel like this??? Any of you girls that can shed some light on this to make me feel better??? Or do I have a legitimate concern that I can't change.



This is why you don't ask for details unless you're sure you can handle it. What kind of closure does it give you? Besides, the stuff about him being terrible and you being the only one that can satisfy her is probably a lie to make you feel better. I'm sure you do satisfy her but the idea that nobody else can is ridiculous. I'm sure there are other women that could satisfy you, you just choose to be faithful.
Now that i've ranted, I'll say that there are two things you guys worry about way more than any of us women: hair line and penis size. Unless your penis is 3 inches or less it's great for us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## russell28

samdew9 said:


> I think that the thing that bothers me the most is that before the PA (it was already in EA mode) he sent her a picture of his penis. I asked her if she commented on it and compared it to mine. She said yes but cannot remember what was said at all. I just think that she is trying to spare me. But I told her that it's something that I need to know to be able to get past this thing. So maintains that she can't remember.


You know what was said.. do you really want to hear it? Once you hear it, you can't un-hear it...


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## samdew9

As yes we are very intimate. More than ever. In fact this is the 10th and since New Years day it's been 6 times so far. Before it was 1-2X's per week. Now it's more like 3-4 and sometimes more per week. I have been hitting the gym like a madman so I can keep up. But even that makes me wonder if it is really her desire for me or is it just her giving me all the sex I can handle and more because of her guilt or whatever.


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## russell28

lifeistooshort said:


> This is why you don't ask for details unless you're sure you can handle it. What kind of closure does it give you? Besides, the stuff about him being terrible and you being the only one that can satisfy her is probably a lie to make you feel better. I'm sure you do satisfy her but the idea that nobody else can is ridiculous. I'm sure there are other women that could satisfy you, you just choose to be faithful.
> Now that i've ranted, I'll say that there are two things you guys worry about way more than any of us women: hair line and penis size. Unless your penis is 3 inches or less it's great for us.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This... sex feels good... if they say 'it hurt' or 'didn't feel good', that's a line of crap....


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## mineforever

For a women making love is one thing and having sex is another..... one is the fulfilling act of making love with your man which engages your mind and body (intimacy for a women starts in her mind...unlike a man which intimacy starts with the physical). The other is just the physical release of sexual tension....nice but not the same. My guess is your wife is trying to tell you the affair was a "having sex" and it wasn't the same to her as having sex with you. Kinda like comparing apples and oranges. If they had been having sex for a long period of time I would say it might be different but since it was only once and not a good one at that....my guess is she never really bonded with him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## russell28

samdew9 said:


> As yes we are very intimate. More than ever. In fact this is the 10th and since New Years day it's been 6 times so far. Before it was 1-2X's per week. Now it's more like 3-4 and sometimes more per week. I have been hitting the gym like a madman so I can keep up. But even that makes me wonder if it is really her desire for me or is it just her giving me all the sex I can handle and more because of her guilt or whatever.


If she's doing it out of guilt, or out of desire.. either way she's doing it because she's thinking about you, and wanting to make you feel good. That's important.


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## mineforever

samdew9 said:


> As yes we are very intimate. More than ever. In fact this is the 10th and since New Years day it's been 6 times so far. Before it was 1-2X's per week. Now it's more like 3-4 and sometimes more per week. I have been hitting the gym like a madman so I can keep up. But even that makes me wonder if it is really her desire for me or is it just her giving me all the sex I can handle and more because of her guilt or whatever.


Its called "hysterical bonding" its a normal process after an affair when you are trying to "R". Enjoy it, it will slow Dow a little later on most likely. It is a subconscious rebounding thing that happens. She isn't really consciously doing it, it just happens to all couples. If you read through posts here you will find it quite alot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad

She remembers what comments she made about his huge Johnson versus yours. 

She's trying to be nice by lying to you or she's afraid that once you realize how degrading she was to you that you will call it quits.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sinnister

Could be worse. I'm slightly above average but suck at sex. So be happy that you no how to weild your sword. Some of us are terrible swordsmen.


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## ThePheonix

Flood is correct. Some women desire "bigger" but the majority are satisfied with average. I was an escort for a few years many moons ago and had several "clients" whose husbands/boyfriends were bigger. Hurting and not knowing, or not caring, how to use what they had was a common complaint. I remember one, with a husband with a purported 9+, said she came to me because she couldn't get anything out of it when her cervix was being hit by a battering ram.

Just to add though. Your concern may be better placed on why she felt the need to see someone else in the first place. She apparently made up her mind to sleep with him long before she knew about his equipment.


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## distraughtfromtexas

To be blunt, I have an ex boyfriend who was huge (like porn star huge), and I hated sex with him. It DID hurt, and it wasn't really fun for me. I understand your feelings, because my H compared OW's body to mine and told me how it was better (she's plastic btw), BUT in your case, if you are average size and you know how to use it, you have NOTHING to worry about!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## distraughtfromtexas

Btw, later in life, ex boyfriend talked about wanting a reduction, so I don't think I was the only one...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## russell28

sinnister said:


> Could be worse. I'm slightly above average but suck at sex. So be happy that you no how to weild your sword. Some of us are terrible swordsmen.


Watch some 70's porn, and think of them as instruction videos... pay close attention to where the hands are at all times, that's hard to do but it's important.


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## russell28

distraughtfromtexas said:


> To be blunt, I have an ex boyfriend who was huge (like porn star huge), and I hated sex with him. It DID hurt, and it wasn't really fun for me. I understand your feelings, because my H compared OW's body to mine and told me how it was better (she's plastic btw), BUT in your case, if you are average size and you know how to use it, you have NOTHING to worry about!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Plastic... yuk... That's gonna age gracefully 

To go along with the tatoo of the rose that'll eventually droop and wilt...


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## mineforever

You have realize it isn't the size of your boat...as much as the motion you make in the ocean that is important. Try working on your angle if you have problems falling out....maybe get a Liberator Essee chair they are great. A sex swing is another great option, both would allow you great angles to allow for deeper penetration. If she really likes to try different sizes...tell her you will be glad to buy dildo's in different sizes to use as toys on her. Make it something you do together as a treat from you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## weightlifter

MOST women mean it, that it does not matter... sort of.
One ****ty woman I knew in college said the following:

Unless you are less than 5".
Or more than 8"
Dont worry about it.

So do note it does matter at the extremes.

BTW envy the guy who has 8". Dont envy the guy at 12". She also told me MANY women when you whip out something a foot long and 2" in diameter will look at that, contemplate and say... NO. She tried the first guy, said no effing way to the second.

I hit my wifes cervix once. Trust me. ow. OWWWW! is a real mood killer. While I would like to brag, actually, we tried that ankles on shoulders thing...


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## davecarter

It's one of those things that guys stress about and always will.

I got a _massive _ego-crushing when my wife openly got involved with her OM, not only after meeting him and being attracted to his 'Alpha' attributes, to boot, ex-army, construction-worker, 6'2", 210lb, solid-built guy, tattoos, shaved-head, blah blah blah, but furthermore, discovered that he _also _had a reputation of being very well-hung..._before _she started seeing him.

I'm about 6". 


The worse thing now is, that what happened has caused me ongoing anxiety and issues with ED.  :banghead:


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## distraughtfromtexas

russell28 said:


> Plastic... yuk... That's gonna age gracefully
> 
> To go along with the tatoo of the rose that'll eventually droop and wilt...


It will complement her overly tanned, leathery skin. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Philat

samdew9 said:


> I think that the thing that bothers me the most is that before the PA (it was already in EA mode) he sent her a picture of his penis. I asked her if she commented on it and compared it to mine. She said yes but cannot remember what was said at all. I just think that she is trying to spare me. But I told her that it's something that I need to know to be able to get past this thing. So maintains that she can't remember.


Of course she remembers. But what she said might be only what she thinks OM wanted to hear. Since the sleazeball sent her a pic of his unit it's obvious he wanted to hear some expression of "awe" from her. Wanting to please "her man," this is probably just what she did, even if she thought it looked like a three-month-old 7 Eleven hotdog.  I say if you two are truly in a good place after the A, let this particular bit go.

It ain't the size, it's what you do with it as part of the whole package that is you as her lover.


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## badmemory

samdew9 said:


> She told me that was why it was awful, that it hurt a lot when he put it inside of her and that (and the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed.


samdew,

I believe you need to take your wife's comments with a grain of salt. It's typical for WS's to minimize the sex with the POSOM and the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

So in regards to whether she enjoyed it or not, you'll probably never know for sure. That's a mind movie that most BS's have to deal with and hopefully, it will fade with time.


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## distraughtfromtexas

Philat said:


> Of course she remembers. But what she said might be only what she thinks OM wanted to hear. Since the sleazeball sent her a pic of his unit it's obvious he wanted to hear some expression of "awe" from her. Wanting to please "her man," this is probably just what she did, even if she thought it looked like a three-month-old 7 Eleven hotdog. I say if you two are truly in a good place after the A, let this particular bit go.
> 
> It ain't the size, it's what you do with it as part of the whole package that is you as her lover.


3 month old 7 Eleven hot dog...hahaha... I'm dying over here!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## love=pain

samdew9 said:


> You all can look in my profile if you want to read my whole story. But my wife and I have reconciled and things are better than they have ever been. She has done everything that I have asked (most of it from advice from you all...thank you) But I have still been dealing with the "movies" and a lot of insecurity. Especially when it comes to my manhood. I am someone that needs the details for closure but she has not wanted to give me those details. She would always say that it doesn't matter. That I am the only one that has ever satisfied her sexually and that her one time with the other puke was awful.
> 
> But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine. She told me that was why it was awful, that it hurt a lot when he put it inside of her and that (and the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed. But now I am still very insecure about it and have that feeling of "if it was only a little bit bigger" I know that my wife is satisfied when we have sex because I can feel it. But I fall out every so often and think about how small mine is. I also can't seem to shake the thought of him shoving his giant dong into her. Mine was the only one that she ever saw until his.
> 
> Mine is the average size...I googled it, but it just makes me feel inadequate. I don't know how to overcome this. Did any of you guys ever feel like this??? Any of you girls that can shed some light on this to make me feel better??? Or do I have a legitimate concern that I can't change.


You are preaching to the choir here this is something I have been fighting close to 2 years things lessen over time but the inadequacy still lurks. I do not condone a revenge affair but sometimes I think it would be nice to get some feedback so to speak from another woman.
Infidelity is such a blow to one's manhood and to make matters worse you already don't believe or trust all the things she says, she lied and hid her affair what makes you sure she is telling the truth now.
I have found it helpful to look back on some of the other girls I was with before my wife, remembering some of the things they told me about my "equipment" and "performance" has helped boost the confidence. 
It's a long struggle and reconciliation takes time, one thing I am a firm believer in is find a few areas in your life to pamper yourself. Go to a stylist get your hair cut, see a barber about a shave, I went out and bought new underwear (I know silly) and good socks why? wearing them made my feet feel better and getting rid of my holey (com'n guys we all have some) shorts well it looked better. 
Find ways to take care of you exercise, grooming, intellectually, spiritually (not God stuff unless that is your bag) you'll look better, feel better and think better which should help the self esteem greatly.
Have lots of sex scratch that f*ck her brains out every chance you get, up your game read books, watch videos, hide in ladies bathrooms whatever it takes. I know you have those movies in your head while you are having sex I have them too but they are only moments, small stretches of time during the act most of the time it's good, the more sex the more those good times will grow.
Finally I don't care if his middle name is tripod, whatever he has and whatever he did wasn't enough she chose the better bigger man.

"The measure of a man has very little to do with the size of his manhood" _by me_


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## DarkHoly

Just keep telling yourself size doesn't matter and eventually you'll believe it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## loving1

I think she probably remembers what was said, but I'd believe that it hurt and was uncomfortable. My H is large and while he knows me very well by now (and how not to hit my cervix) there are still positions/acts that are uncomfortable and/or painful. I think there's a pretty steep learning curve on how to avoid pain for both partners when the man is above average, and it would not surprise me at all if sex with OM was indeed painful.


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## ConanHub

OP.
I can't read your other threads now so I'm going to assume you never cheated.

I don't think penis size in an affair is really the issue. I have read of other BH having problems after their wives stepped out and thePOSOM was average or even smaller than the husband
I think the real issue is your wife acted like a goat in heat and that is very unattractive a d disgusting!
I am truly bewildered by a BHs ability to even touch his wife again after she has behaved like a disease ridden gutter mongrel.

I am not putting any BH down for trying to R, I just can't comprehend myself.
If our roles were reversed, I would make her tell me every gory detail of every interaction while I recorded her confession. It would not be because I cared because all that would matter to me was the fact of her treacherous and disgusting behavior. I would make her repeat everything because she would need to see the fullness of how truly unattractive and disgusting she had made herself so she would never want to act that way again.

Your wife should be amazed that you will even talk to her much less dignify her with physical love.
You are far more attractive than her. You can attract women who behave like ladies, she can attract POSOM. 

POSOM is all she deserves, she should count herself lucky that you didn't drive her to OMs place and dump her there.

What I am trying to say is that you have nothing to worry about, feel guilt or shame or inadequacy about, your wife needs to feel all of that.

A faithful man with an adequate tool and the ability to use it is far above a skank who can attract a POSOM with a large tool.

You are a very attractive mate and your wife doesn't deserve you. I am not telling you to be mean to her, but you need to see clearly that you are far above OM and even her for that matter.

You could score a real lady if you chose too, everyone has seen the gutter trash she is capable of attracting.

Hope this helps, you are more attractive and desirable than you have been treated, just know that.
Cheers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Graywolf2

I just saw this thread and looked up your old threads. I found this:



samdew9 said:


> What really gets me upset is that she is the one that cheated, the OM also had a hand in it as well. She said that she to him no and that she was married quite a few times before she finally gave in. And here I am in misery and the OM get to gallivant around proud that he banged a pastors wife and gets off scott free. And if we were to get a D, then our 5 children would have there lives rocked horribly as well. Why is it that the offenders are the ones that have the least amount of punishment??????? And the was that were innocent are the ones that get trampled on????????


My son is an Army JAG (Army lawyer). You can put a world of hurt on this guy with the army for screwing married women even if he’s single.


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## ConanHub

BTW. I hope you aren't staying because of the kids or because you think you have to because your a pastor.
God doesn't put up with unfaithfulness and neither should you.
I hope your wife is absolutely on her knees in submission to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Coldie

The truth is, if she loves you and knows how important this is to you, she will tell you that your penis is the biggest she has ever had. She will sit down and say, "Well, the truth is, the more I see you I realize that he wasn't bigger or much bigger, but it felt uncomfortable because I didn't have the same connection. Your's feels perfect because I love you. I bet if I met you randomly you would hurt me the same way." 


No matter what the truth is, if you could go in her mind, see the truths, then alter them to help you move on with your life, this is what you would alter. Like with being great in bed, no matter how naturally skilled you are, unless you specifically communicate and ask the other person to tell you what they need to make it perfect. Triggering is the same. Tell her what you need to make her deal with triggering perfect. Communicate. 

What's the point of knowing his penis hurt her it was so big or that she saw the picture, giggled with him about your size, then obviously liked it enough that she later decided to move from EA to PA knowing his penis size? You already know the truth. We all know the truth. What does that help? When we watch a 10 inch guy in porn, we all know the truth. Yet I look at my wife and she says, "You are the biggest I ever seen, the guy in the porn looked small to me." Do I care she just rug swept that penis thing? Do I care that she blindly says I am bigger ignoring all logic and measurement systems on earth except on reverse day? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Because I told her what my ego needs, and I would rather her say something a million times and that become her truth, than her see a bigger penis and tell me how she thinks that big penis is so much hotter than mine.

I don't think you really want the truth, because you already know that. I think you need to sit down and talk with her about what is important to you, how she can help you with triggering, and who cares if she blindly loves you and says she made a mistake about his penis, yours actually was bigger. If women who cheated were smart, this would be in the handbook. Because as long as you cannot wipe the data from her brain, or alter it, it will bug you and hurt R.

Good luck.


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## treyvion

russell28 said:


> This... sex feels good... if they say 'it hurt' or 'didn't feel good', that's a line of crap....


If he were pounding her cervix, it will hurt and she will lose interest in sex very quickly.


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## treyvion

davecarter said:


> It's one of those things that guys stress about and always will.
> 
> I got a _massive _ego-crushing when my wife openly got involved with her OM, not only after meeting him and being attracted to his 'Alpha' attributes, to boot, ex-army, construction-worker, 6'2", 210lb, solid-built guy, tattoos, shaved-head, blah blah blah, but furthermore, discovered that he _also _had a reputation of being very well-hung..._before _she started seeing him.
> 
> I'm about 6".
> 
> 
> The worse thing now is, that what happened has caused me ongoing anxiety and issues with ED.  :banghead:


You aren't the only one. Many men have been pushed into ED land and feelings of inadequecy from a situation like this.

Your going to need some therepy and also to screw it out of her. I'd be putting myself into my best physical and mental shape too.

If the problems persist with her you may have to leave.


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## davecarter

Agree with almost all the posts on here.

Alt. many men with Cuckold fantasies/fetishes/lifestyles really do get off on the c0ck-size stuff and it can get way out of hand.


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## davecarter

treyvion said:


> You aren't the only one. Many men have been pushed into ED land and feelings of inadequecy from a situation like this.
> 
> Your going to need some therepy and also to screw it out of her. I'd be putting myself into my best physical and mental shape too.
> 
> If the problems persist with her you may have to leave.


Oh no, we are separated and going through a divorce...it's my experiences with women _since_ that have been problematic...


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## treyvion

davecarter said:


> Oh no, we are separated and going through a divorce...it's my experiences with women _since_ that have been problematic...


My experience was new women was new situation. Don't talk about your old situation.

You have to have the mental discipline to not bring that old mess into the new situation. Then you can build it to be what you want it to be.

If you have some ED issues, insist that you get some oral before you penetrate. Just do this for a while until you regain your c0ck confidence.

You gotta get your ex and the situation behind it out of your head.


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## hawx20

I'm average to slightly above average in length but with a lot of girth. Every single woman I've ever been with has complimented my size. I've had lots of "Wows" and "damns" when they've felt it or seen it the first time, and in a good way.

Never in my life have I worried about my size. That being said, for the first time in my life I questioned my size after finding out about my wifes affair. For the first time, I felt inadequate.

Infidelity will crush your self esteem.


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## Married but Happy

Size matters. Too big or too small don't work for most women (for obvious reasons at both extremes), or so I've been told by many women. Bigger is not always better, at least beyond some point which may differ for each woman.


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## treyvion

hawx20 said:


> I'm average to slightly above average in length but with a lot of girth. Every single woman I've ever been with has complimented my size. I've had lots of "Wows" and "damns" when they've felt it or seen it the first time, and in a good way.
> 
> Never in my life have I worried about my size. That being said, for the first time in my life I questioned my size after finding out about my wifes affair. For the first time, I felt inadequate.
> 
> Infidelity will crush your self esteem.


I been there. It puts in a momentarily delay in your thinking where you are wondering "I hope it stays hard".

My ex that crushed me along with her infidelity issued mental and physical abuse. She was still getting sex from me for a while, but when she was already out of the relationship, she was really disrespectful during sex and at times would say foul things as I'm about to penetrate and it would cause me to lose my erection.

The great thing is I knew that was just her, so in new sex situations it worked, and the more I did it with the new ones who were nice to me by the way... The more I did it, the stronger my **** became.

That being said, I still have not reclaimed all my old c0ck confidence that I had before the ex trashed me out, but I know that I can if I continue on the path and it will be stronger than before.


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## ThePheonix

Two or three things Dawgs:

If you're average and can't satisfy your woman, it ain't your pecker size to blame.

If you're average and it keeps falling out (or falling in, depending on how you look at it) , it ain't your pecker size to blame.

If you have to wonder if you're pleasing your woman, you're not.

So in the final analysis, you need to improve your technique or get another woman.


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## omgitselaine

Sam sorry that you're in this position ..... guess somethings are just better not known huh ?? 

Well since you already know this please do understand that being hung like a horse isn't exactly what it's all cracked up to be !?!? I had dated a guy who was very large and he admitted that most of the women he met and yes he did meet a lot however ...... a large portion of them did not want him anywhere inside them ( PIV ! ).

He said more times than not the women were fascinated by his size but he would often just get a handjob and perhaps a kiss or two ??

Since he was my boyfriend at the time we were more intimate that above however it was far from the most " pleasurable " sex ..... depending on my mood at the time it was from " very good " to OMG someone shoot me already kind of feeling !!?? 

Good luck !!


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## convert

It would be so nice if there was an adjustment knob on our penis so that the women could adjust it to there liking.

well it was just a thought


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## 2ntnuf

Sorry you are going through this. I think it is pretty normal. 

I hate to say it, but it's the one area that makes me question going straight back to sex with your WS, when it's a woman, without going out and having sex with other women first, during the separation. It would have helped in this area, I think.

If I read correctly, most of the women here have said they basically stretch the truth or modify it enough to make their present partner feel good. Well, that's great and perpetuates the feelings of insecurity. You cannot believe what they say, you will have to just concentrate on giving her the best orgasms possible. If you need to learn a bunch of techniques to give her better orgasms, then do so. You will be comparing what is in your mind about the OM to the response you get from your wife. 

I think, if you do that, you will feel better, in time. Give her mind blowing orgasms as often as you can, based upon her moods as well as your ability. Remember, there are two of you and you will have to seduce her for a while before intercourse. 

This has to be extremely difficult for you. I'm very sorry and I think this is the only way to get over that, or at least past it. I think you will have to bear with some self-esteem issues the rest of your life with her and maybe even with others as well. 

The only other way would be to have sex with enough other women that you understand you are not the biggest, but that's okay for some women. Every woman is built differently, just as men. You would need to go out and find someone who is a better fit to you.


----------



## hawx20

2ntnuf said:


> If I read correctly, most of the women here have said they basically stretch the truth or modify it enough to make their present partner feel good.


My wife has always told me I had a big one. I'll never forget her first reaction to it so I am fairly confident I've always been the right size for her.

After dday, I feel she has been over exaggerating my size but I could be wrong. For example, I barely have the head in and shes already telling me it feels like I'm all way in deep inside her.

C'mon now woman


----------



## nxs450

For one thing the women replying that they have been with guys the were huge and it hurt, or whatever is not helping. It only makes it seem like there is a lot of big guys out there, when in fact there are not that many. It is all subjective, maybe they were with a guy they thought was huge, and the person they are with now is very small. There are to many variables.
Even if the OM was bigger then you, your wife should of lied and told you that he wasn't. It seems that some women do this to keep a upper hand in the relationship. Were you ever with other women before you were married? If so do you remember any of them being tighter then your wife. Maybe you can let her know about that.
It is bad enough that she cheated on you, but for her to beat you down even more by telling you the guy was huge is insult on injury. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she really had know idea if he was bigger or smaller then you. Most women don't remember them kind of things.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

A big penis has its advantages, yes, but it also creates a lazy and self-centered sex partner who can do a lot of damage when and if trust is breached. It's like an SUV really, it all depends on the driver. One bad experience will ruin it forever, if you've ever been taken advantage of or hurt by a guy with a big penis, you'll never want a big one again anywhere near you in an intimate situation, simply not enjoyable. Average is safe and enjoyable, and can do a lot more with it!

I have probably been with an above-average number of men I think due to being single and in the military with opportunity but also because had issues when younger...having been abused looked for love the wrong way. So feel "qualified" hahahah to offer my opinion.

In all experience can say that average penis size on a good friend one trusts who is going to use it to mutual advantage is far superior and desirable than simply "big." Partnered up in committed relationship / married, even better. 

Seems like you have all that, you can be proud of yourself. 

Slipping out happens even to big guys, usually happens if the woman is wet/aroused, if wasn't then it would be dry and tight and not prone to slip. Would rather have slippy than sandpaper any day.


----------



## bandit.45

Quit worrying about the size of your rod.

Make changes to things you can change. Learn to make love to her all day before you two actually have sex. Figure out how to start making love to her mind and begin the seduction process early on. Try leaving her love notes in her car, send her flowers for no particular reason once in a while, try sexting her and telling her how beautiful she is and how desirable. 

It won't matter about what you're packing, because you will have her so heated up by the time she gets home she'll jump you the first chance you get, and her orgasms will be that much stronger, because you have her mind in that groove already. 

Learn and improve your oral and manual skills, and how to get her off without actual intercourse. All this wil make you a better lover and more masculine in her mind.


----------



## 2ntnuf

Lying, in my opinion, is the worst thing to do. Years down the road it will come out. All the statistics in the world will not convince a man. Women are different sizes just as men. They can become stretched out from vaginal birth. They can become stretched out from many things. They counter that by doing Kegel's. Men don't have that option. You are what you are. You can only vary the size by having the best possible circulatory system and get that blood flowing at full force to the area you want most affected. That does work.

The thing is, we are talking about physical sizes in this thread. We are also talking about mind-movies and what we believe about ourselves. I can guarantee you that there are different sized women. I know there are different sized men, as well. So, women do stretch and come back, but at some point, that will not happen. I'm sorry I am being so blunt. 

The goal is orgasm. Does she orgasm hard when with you? Can you give them to her? Do you achieve ejaculation without much issue? 

Working on giving her an orgasm easily will build your sef-confidence. If she is just too stretched out from life, you may have to look into alternatives or you will be settling. I guess it depends on how important it is to both of you. 

You will have issues the rest of your life, at times. I did from my first marriage. Being skilled at giving her an orgasm does not necessarily mean you have to have the largest member. However, some women prefer larger over smaller. So, it's your choice. How important is that to you? You could go out there and find no one who you think is better suited to you. It's your choice how much you want to pursue this. 

I think I'd evaluate how good she feels, physically to you. You don't have to tell her this. Please do not. Then, I'd work on technique and how to seduce her over some time, so she gets worked up over the course of several hours or the day. 

In the mean time, you can keep some of this in the back of your mind, instead of the front. Eventually, you will have to make a decision. Just remember, it takes time to find someone else who fits better and who wants you and blah, blah, blah. 

I don't envy you. I feel badly for you having to go through this. It's just part and parcel to all the WS's affair brings to the relationship. It's part of reconciliation. I hope you do well. Not for your marriage, but for you. If this marriage is what you want, I hope you do well. If it's not, I hope you do well. 

Either way, these demons will follow any BS, where ever he goes.


----------



## Cosmos

OP, whilst a BS has the right to transparency and certain details, I'm afraid the sort of details that you required aren't in the least bit useful, IMO.

It's pretty natural for a BS to want to know how they measured up to the OM/OW, but comparisons can be odious, as you have discovered for yourself... 

I think you have to focus on the fact that your W told you that sex with the OM was horrible, but you know that sex between you and your W is good. You also know that your penis size is normal (and even above average sized penises can 'slip out' every so often!) and, as hard as it must be, I really think it's time to switch off those unhelpful mind movies.


----------



## 2ntnuf

Do not believe lies, op. Work on what you can do to see the results. Remember, actions speak louder than words. This is a variation. How she reacts to what you do and how easily, often and well she orgasms will be the, "actions", to determine if you are right for her or not, in the department of sex. 

Do not listen to lies. Find out for yourself. Work on technique and seduction. You will have to do this whether you stay married or not. Forget the rest. Make this decision on evidence, not what she tells you. It's similar to what you learned here about cheating. Look for the signs of her orgasm. Know what to look for and what to feel. Don't let someone fool you. Don't let her lie to you. She doesn't want to hurt you, but you have to do this for yourself.


----------



## Hurtin_Still

convert said:


> It would be so nice if there was an adjustment knob on our penis so that the women could adjust it to there liking.
> 
> well it was just a thought



....there is ...it's called the "_being faithful and loving your partner with all your heart regardless of size_" controls. 


....and it should be turned up to 11 at all times.


----------



## Tall Average Guy

Cosmos said:


> I think you have to focus on the fact that your W told you that sex with the OM was horrible, but you know that sex between you and your W is good.


If I had to guess, the OP does not believe his wife (I suspect about a lot of things about the affair). So he can't take her words and work with them. 

That is where he needs to get to.


----------



## samdew9

Graywolf2 said:


> I just saw this thread and looked up your old threads. I found this:
> 
> 
> 
> My son is an Army JAG (Army lawyer). You can put a world of hurt on this guy with the army for screwing married women even if he’s single.



Yes, he is in the reserves. He actually got promoted at the big box store him and my W work at and is now at a different store from hers. Before he left for management training he was telling everyone how he volunteered to be deployed and was leaving in January. Well, it's January and there is nothing on the news about his new unit being deployed. This guy is a pathetic pile of trash. He has very few friends, lives in a fantasy world (books, porn, and video games) and is a scrawny nasty trailer trash looking fella. I want revenge so bad that I can taste it. But I know that the coward would retaliate which would lead to me most likely getting physical with him. 

So, as much as I would like to pursue something like the above quote. I think that I better leave him alone and let the fact that he leads a pathetic life be my revenge. 

I actually feel like I need to walk up to him and look him in the eye and then tell him that I forgive him. But I saw one of the people that he lives with in a store and thought that I saw him. My blood pressure went through the roof, my jaw and fists were clenched, and my heart was pounding. I was in search and destroy mode. My wife asked me what was wrong and then decided that it was best we shop another day. So like I said, I think that I will let it lie for now. Jail and me wouldn't get along very well I'm thinking.


----------



## 2ntnuf

You can't just live a lie. It will come back to bite you. Do the work for yourself, op. Don't listen to all of this posturing and emotional commitment. This is something that is important to you. Love is a decision. Find out what you need to make a good decision for yourself, and in the end, it will be best for both of you. If you are questioning yourself, she will know. That alone, will affect her ability to orgasm. Don't let this go. Do the work on you that you need.


----------



## Healer

Well, I'm just over 7.5" hard, and my stbxw cheated on me. So even if you had a big ****, it wouldn't have mattered.

Some girls are size queens - mostly not.


----------



## russell28

Healer said:


> Well, I'm just over 7.5" hard, and my stbxw cheated on me. So even if you had a big ****, it wouldn't have mattered.
> 
> Some girls are size queens - mostly not.


Ha.. 7 and a half... that's not big, that's average.. love that you added in the half. If you're 'just over' you should have gone 7.6..


----------



## treyvion

Healer said:


> Well, I'm just over 7.5" hard, and my stbxw cheated on me. So even if you had a big ****, it wouldn't have mattered.
> 
> Some girls are size queens - mostly not.


You can be cheated on BECAUSE you have a large c0ck, because you are Alpha, because you are successful. Women can cheat on you for anything.


----------



## treyvion

russell28 said:


> Ha.. 7 and a half... that's not big, that's average.. love that you added in the half. If you're 'just over' you should have gone 7.6..


Most studies put the average erect c0ck length somewhere in the 5.5-6" range.

7" would be above average on most of those 8" is in the top 95% Meaning 1 out of 20 c0cks. 7" is 5 out of 20 c0cks.

Most guys pad their stats, I would say by 1"...


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## Healer

russell28 said:


> Ha.. 7 and a half... that's not big, that's average.. love that you added in the half. If you're 'just over' you should have gone 7.6..


You need to use the Googles to look up "average penis size".

ETA - here you go:

In a study of eighty healthy males published in the September 1996 Journal of Urology an average erect penis length of 12.9 cm (5.1 in) was measured.[5]


----------



## manticore

samdew9 said:


> And here I am in misery and the OM get to gallivant around proud that he banged a pastors wife and gets off scott free. And if we were to get a D, then our 5 children would have there lives rocked horribly as well. Why is it that the offenders are the ones that have the least amount of punishment??????? And the was that were innocent are the ones that get trampled on????????


samdew9 did you expose OM with his superiors, you speak about deployment so I guessing he is in the army or navy, this institutions are very serious about this kind of situations, his members fooling around with married women is not acceptable to them


----------



## russell28

Yay, I'm above average.. 

I always figured 4,5 small... 6,7 average... 8+ large.. but I haven't personally done any tests, so I'm going by a small sample size of 1... and no, never considered googling anything with the word penis in it..


----------



## Healer

russell28 said:


> ... and no, never considered googling anything with the word penis in it..


Don't worry, we know you're not gay or anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


----------



## russell28

Healer said:


> Don't worry, we know you're not gay or anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


I'm not gay, but I wouldn't kick Bradley Cooper out of bed...


----------



## Healer

russell28 said:


> I'm not gay, but I wouldn't kick Bradley Cooper out of bed...


I heard he has a tiny ****.


----------



## weightlifter

russell28 said:


> Ha.. 7 and a half... that's not big, that's average.. love that you added in the half. If you're 'just over' you should have gone 7.6..


7.5 is like 90th percentile

from Trojan Condoms site
Average length of flaccid penis is between 3.4 inches and 3.7 inches (8.6 cm and 9.3 cm)
Average length of erect penis is between 5.1 inches and 5.7 inches (12.9 cm and 14.5 cm)
Average circumference of an erect penis is between 3.5 inches and 3.9 inches (8.8 cm and 10.0 cm)*
Huffpost
Median 5.6
IIRC 
+1 African
+.5 Latino
European +0
-.75 East Asian

50% of men are between 5.5" and 6"


----------



## aug

samdew9 said:


> Yes, he is in the reserves. *He actually got promoted at the big box store him *and my W work at and is now at a different store from hers. Before *he left for management training* he was telling everyone how he volunteered to be deployed and was leaving in January. Well, it's January and there is nothing on the news about his new unit being deployed. *This guy is a pathetic pile of trash.* He has very few friends, lives in a fantasy world (books, porn, and video games) and is a scrawny nasty trailer trash looking fella. I want revenge so bad that I can taste it. But I know that the coward would retaliate which would lead to me most likely getting physical with him.


Your wife is not telling you the truth about the OM. She's probably feeling guilty because she thinks she's a christian. Given your reactions thus far, I doubt that she's going to tell you her real truth.

Also, I would think the other guy is not as pathetic as you wrote him out to be. Some do think highly of him. He did get promoted into management.

So, I think if you can face the whole reality, your chances of acceptance of your situation and healthily moving forward are much better.


----------



## Thor

A couple of comments for you Sam.

First, the guy was such a loser he couldn't keep it up. Imagine if he had a Ferrari but couldn't drive down the road without sideswiping parked cars. He can't parallel park the thing. And he's afraid to go above 50mph.

Yeah, we'd all like to have a Ferrari to drive, and women would love to ride in one. But how many men want to be the loser who can't even park it, and how many women want to ride with that guy?

Second, you're the one making this into a big deal. You have no idea what your wife is really thinking about the guy's tool. You are assuming she liked it better than yours. You are assuming that the size is the single factor of the OM which matters. To you it may be an important factor, but you don't know that this is true for your wife.

I think that your anguish is a symptom of you blaming yourself in some way for her affair. You see yourself as somehow deficient, and thus she had the affair. The deficiency you have found is that this guy had a bigger appendage. What if instead the guy had bigger muscles, or nicer hair? Or a fancy red Ferrari? Or all of those?

Your wife's affair was her fault and her failure. It is not due to anything about you. Your thinking is distorted.

I think you still feel some anxiety that she isn't really into you. Maybe you fear you are Plan B, or you are being used for security rather than she really loves you.

Are you two in good MC? Are you working through any good relationship books?


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

weightlifter said:


> 7.5 is like 90th percentile
> 
> from Trojan Condoms site
> Average length of flaccid penis is between 3.4 inches and 3.7 inches (8.6 cm and 9.3 cm)
> Average length of erect penis is between 5.1 inches and 5.7 inches (12.9 cm and 14.5 cm)
> Average circumference of an erect penis is between 3.5 inches and 3.9 inches (8.8 cm and 10.0 cm)*
> Huffpost
> Median 5.6
> IIRC
> +1 African
> +.5 Latino
> European +0
> -.75 East Asian
> 
> 50% of men are between 5.5" and 6"


Was going to avoid posting in a penis size thread, I think your girth measurments are off by at least an inch. I think average girth of an erect penis is around 4.5" to 5.0".


----------



## russell28

weightlifter said:


> 7.5 is like 90th percentile
> 
> from Trojan Condoms site
> Average length of flaccid penis is between 3.4 inches and 3.7 inches (8.6 cm and 9.3 cm)
> Average length of erect penis is between 5.1 inches and 5.7 inches (12.9 cm and 14.5 cm)
> Average circumference of an erect penis is between 3.5 inches and 3.9 inches (8.8 cm and 10.0 cm)*
> Huffpost
> Median 5.6
> IIRC
> +1 African
> +.5 Latino
> European +0
> -.75 East Asian
> 
> 50% of men are between 5.5" and 6"


Funny on 'flacid' measures.. I need to know the room temp for those. I also need more data on what method was used to make these guys 'erect', to know if they were at 100% or not.. 

I'm assuming this was a very clinical study with an extremely large sample size.. I wonder if they used scatter plots and pie charts to visualize the data. I wonder what method they used to measure, draw marks on the penis, insert into vagina and see which mark is still showing? Line the guys up? Or did they just ask.. and if so, ask the girl, or guy?


----------



## WyshIknew

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Was going to avoid posting in a penis size thread, I think your girth measurments are off by at least an inch. I think average girth of an erect penis is around 4.5" to 5.0".


Thanks Plan 9.

I was beginning to think I was enormous!


----------



## samdew9

aug said:


> Your wife is not telling you the truth about the OM. She's probably feeling guilty because she thinks she's a christian. Given your reactions thus far, I doubt that she's going to tell you her real truth.
> 
> Also, I would think the other guy is not as pathetic as you wrote him out to be. Some do think highly of him. He did get promoted into management.
> 
> So, I think if you can face the whole reality, your chances of acceptance of your situation and healthily moving forward are much better.


He got promoted because he puts on a false face at work. Plus he's in the army and this particular store has a belief that being in the military=better than everyone else. This box store also has a long track record of putting incompetent fools in the assistant manager position.

And I don't know how pathetic he is because of what my wife told me. I know the majority of it from investigating him via public records and his facebook page.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

russell28 said:


> Funny on 'flacid' measures.. I need to know the room temp for those. I also need more data on what method was used to make these guys 'erect', to know if they were at 100% or not..
> 
> I'm assuming this was a very clinical study with an extremely large sample size.. I wonder if they used scatter plots and pie charts to visualize the data. I wonder what method they used to measure, draw marks on the penis, insert into vagina and see which mark is still showing? Line the guys up? Or did they just ask.. and if so, ask the girl, or guy?


I hate to say this, but I was curious about penis size awhile back. Regarding length it would be measured with a ruler and it would be measuring along the top of the penis to get the measurement. Using this method, there are two ways to do it. You can either do a "bone pressed" measurement where you push the ruler into the pubic bone to get thru the fat pad at the base of the penis or you just put the ruler up against the skin at the base without any pressing. Depending on your weight, you can gain an extra half inch or more in length simply by pushing the ruler to hit the pubic bone. 

Girth is just a tape wrapped around the rod, so that's straight forward.


----------



## aug

samdew9 said:


> He got promoted because he puts on a false face at work. Plus he's in the army and this particular store has a belief that being in the military=better than everyone else. This box store also has a long track record of putting incompetent fools in the assistant manager position.
> 
> And I don't know how pathetic he is because of what my wife told me. I know the majority of it from investigating him via public records and his facebook page.


How do you know he puts on a false face? You dont work with him or hang out with him.

Your wife had a long time to evaluate him. It's a fact that she likes him enough over a long period of time to have sex with him. 

I would discount anything your wife said about her OM. She's tickling truth you and minimizing. She's able to do it for a while now and, to me, she hasnt stop yet.


----------



## Hurtin_Still

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I hate to say this, but I was curious about penis size awhile back. Regarding length it would be measured with a ruler and it would be measuring along the top of the penis to get the measurement. Using this method, there are two ways to do it. You can either do a "bone pressed" measurement where you push the ruler into the pubic bone to get thru the fat pad at the base of the penis or you just put the ruler up against the skin at the base without any pressing. Depending on your weight, you can gain an extra half inch or more in length simply by pushing the ruler to hit the pubic bone.
> 
> Girth is just a tape wrapped around the rod, so that's straight forward.


....don't know why I know this ...but the "ruler to the pubic bone" method seems more readily accepted as "the" way to determine it. That's why they (the experts) say if you want to focus on 'appearance' length ...losing some weight could reduce the depth of the 'fat pad' that guys can get over the pubic bone.

...that said ...and having my own doubts and insecurities about my size after being hurt by my wife ...I don't give a flying f__k what anyone says looks good or not. I'm me ...this is what I've got ...and if it's not satisfactory to you ...eat sh_t and die.


----------



## manticore

samdew9 said:


> He got promoted because he puts on a false face at work. *Plus he's in the army and this particular store has a belief that being in the military=better than everyone else*. This box store also has a long track record of putting incompetent fools in the assistant manager position.
> 
> And I don't know how pathetic he is because of what my wife told me. I know the majority of it from investigating him via public records and his facebook page.


then expose his paramours, you wrote that besides your wife he slept with other married women, you can wreck his life, make him fired from the store and punished by the army.

you are not doing nothing illegal by doing so, you are just telling the truth about his fake character.

you said the he may retaliate againts you, anything that he does like messages or insults just will make him look worst, and if he retaliate with a physical attack you can even throw him to jail.

but believe me, OMs are b*stards that hate consequences so, even if you expose him I doubt he will do anything other than to calling you or your wife to whine about it.


----------



## 2ntnuf

samdew,

Take, copy and paste, save print out or whatever, what you need from this thread and get out of it now. Your questions were about sex and I think you need to quit questioning other things. Work on one thing at a time. Answering the questions and thoughts you have, on your own, for your personal improvement, will help. 

Delete this thread as soon as you have done that. it will only trigger you further and set you back. One thing at a time, man. One thing at a time. Stop all the insanity you are going to receive here. Screw the AP. He's trash for screwing a married woman, period. Anything else, is justification.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

Hurtin_Still said:


> ....don't know why I know this ...but the "ruler to the pubic bone" method seems more readily accepted as "the" way to determine it. That's why they (the experts) say if you want to focus on 'appearance' length ...*losing some weight could reduce the depth of the 'fat pad' that guys can get over the pubic bone.*
> 
> ...that said ...and having my own doubts and insecurities about my size after being hurt by my wife ...*I don't give a flying f__k what anyone says looks good or not. I'm me ...*this is what I've got ...and if it's not satisfactory to you ...eat sh_t and die.


LOL, so true. Without pressing, I gained a 0.25" length increase by losing some weight (non-bone pressed).

Very healthy attitude to have! If you aren't comfortable in your own skin, you won't be as good of a partner as you can be to your spouse/GF/future partner.


----------



## weightlifter

OP. 
1) Did you contact the husbands of the other women?
If you remember me I was the guy who told you to change the store name out of your post. I am the main logistics/ intel guy here I would say. (some may disagree) The below would help me help others as I take as large a sample side as possible and allows me to see and correlate data on what first posts look like vs where they are in the timeline.
a) Approx when was the first innocent introduction?
b) Approx when was the first inappropriate talking/texting?
c) Approx when was the first kiss?
d) Approx first oral/manual whatever not PIV and approx number of occurrances and generic location. (IE "his car")
e) Approx PIV date and generic location.
f) Approx break off date.
g) Was his method the following? Befriend>talk salty>talk dirty>push boundaries>sex? IE friending player 101?
h) Were nude pictures of your wife exchanged? Did they leak out to the internet? (These are yes/no questions. I do not need details or examples)


----------



## chillymorn

I am what I am and thats all that I am.


no problems. 

man walks into a ***** house and picks a pretty lady to take upstairs. as their getting undressed the woman sees his .......manhood and says who you going to please with that? and without missing a beat he says ME!

there are girls who want and need a big sized one and girls that can't imagine a large one being fun and every where inbetween.

not much you can do about with what you were born with.

the real problem is when you can't or one person won't comunicate about what you like and dislike. women and men who will give oral or experiment with eachother to figure out what eachother like go far longer(pun intended) than I big tool or tight puss.


----------



## 2ntnuf

chillymorn said:


> I am what I am and thats all that I am.
> 
> 
> no problems.
> 
> man walks into a ***** house and picks a pretty lady to take upstairs. as their getting undressed the woman sees his .......manhood and says who you going to please with that? and without missing a beat he says ME!
> 
> there are girls who want and need a big sized one and girls that can't imagine a large one being fun and every where inbetween.
> 
> not much you can do about with what you were born with.
> 
> the real problem is when you can't or one person won't comunicate about what you like and dislike. women and men who will give oral or experiment with eachother to figure out what eachother like go far longer(pun intended) than I big tool or tight puss.


If you highlight the area that looks like I deleted, you will see the whole quote. I liked this up until that point. You can control*(EDIT: should read as, "choose")* who you are with. You can decide for yourself if they are satisfactory, just as they do with men. That is not wrong in any way. It's personal choice. Forget the rest and make your own decisions for you. 

I thought the joke was very funny, but I know it doesn't work in a successful, long-term marriage. You each have to be satisfied. Delete the thread samdew.


----------



## warlock07

Suddenly this thread feels like a locker room where everyone is naked and comparing their **** sizes


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

I'm not going to read through all these posts but even though it is easier said than done, why worry about something you have no control over? I saw the title and it reminded me of the thread about height. A lot of women seem to have a minimum 6 ft requirement. I'm 5'10 3/4" so I suppose I am not tall enough for a lot of women. Whatever. I have no control over that. It isn't a failing of mine. I do have control over a lot if things that women would be attracted to. I'll focus on those things. So what if this other guy is bigger down there. The guy is a loser anyway for going after a married woman. Your wife is obviously happy with your size. Be a rock star in the things you can control and it will be all good.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## samdew9

weightlifter said:


> OP.
> 1) Did you contact the husbands of the other women?
> If you remember me I was the guy who told you to change the store name out of your post. I am the main logistics/ intel guy here I would say. (some may disagree) The below would help me help others as I take as large a sample side as possible and allows me to see and correlate data on what first posts look like vs where they are in the timeline.
> a) Approx when was the first innocent introduction?
> b) Approx when was the first inappropriate talking/texting?
> c) Approx when was the first kiss?
> d) Approx first oral/manual whatever not PIV and approx number of occurrances and generic location. (IE "his car")
> e) Approx PIV date and generic location.
> f) Approx break off date.
> g) Was his method the following? Befriend>talk salty>talk dirty>push boundaries>sex? IE friending player 101?
> h) Were nude pictures of your wife exchanged? Did they leak out to the internet? (These are yes/no questions. I do not need details or examples)



1.) I contacted one of them. That pretty much got the ball rolling to D-Day. The husband told the ex wife who to my wifes AP. The AP confronted my wife. My wife then asked me about it. I said yes, I called him. But why would AP think it was me?? Because I specifically said that this guy had sex with my wife, and if that didn't happen then he wouldn't even consider me as a possibility.

a.) Oct 2012
b.) Dec. 2012
c.) April 29th or 30th 2013
d.-e.) I don't know what PIV is. Sex happened April 29th or 30th 2013 at a hotel. Oral happened once in his car while driving and once in our car at a secluded park. 

f.) After my call to the husand of AP's other sex partner. But was told by my wife that AP turned cold after he got sex and oral.
g.) Yes
h.) Yes, not leaked to my knowledge. My wife says no way because he would get fired. I say probably due to the fact he is a arrogant pile of trash.


----------



## russell28

warlock07 said:


> Suddenly this thread feels like a locker room where everyone is naked and comparing their **** sizes


*Smacks warlock07 on ass with wound up wet towel...


This thread was derailed from the OPs subject.. It's getting more flacid with each post.


----------



## russell28

We should make a pole. (get it, pole... not poll....)


----------



## samdew9

Thank you all for the comments so far. And yes, my thread may have been derailed. But they've got me laughing and that is a good thing.


----------



## Hurtin_Still

Plan 9 from OS said:


> LOL, so true. Without pressing, I gained a 0.25" length increase by losing some weight (non-bone pressed).
> 
> Very healthy attitude to have! If you aren't comfortable in your own skin, you won't be as good of a partner as you can be to your spouse/GF/future partner.


.....thanks ...I definitely have developed a lot of "attitude" recently...and I find it kinda' refreshing and a good thing in some ways. 

......I was never one to actively want to be nude in front of my wife ...meaning, strutting around the bedroom or house (when no kids home of course). But after +30 yrs together ...I finally ...this past year, got to a point where I did not care. I'm 52 yrs old ....I'm a bit pudgy in the belly department and perhaps 30 or 40 lbs above my wedding day weight ...but I still have 90% of my hair (the other 10% is migrating to my back and a$$) ....I have my 'average' (to "the bone") penis ....I have kidney stones ....and messed up knees from playing hockey as if I'd never get older. But ...I told my wife this past year ..._"here I am ....bruised and battered ...but I still have the ability to be a good lover (much better than average in my opinion) ...and to express love ...I just need help to heal"_. (as a side note, that conversation ...was followed by a sweaty romp that took us from the kitchen to the living room to the bathroom ...and into the shower together ...which ...was a first for us in ..like I said ...+30 years)

...attitude can be a good thing ...and erase concerns related to "size".


----------



## bigtone128

samdew9 said:


> But I have still been dealing with the "movies" and a lot of insecurity. Especially when it comes to my manhood. I am someone that needs the details for closure but she has not wanted to give me those details. She would always say that it doesn't matter. That I am the only one that has ever satisfied her sexually and that her one time with the other puke was awful.
> 
> But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine. But now I am still very insecure about it and have that feeling of "if it was only a little bit bigger" I know that my wife is satisfied when we have sex because I can feel it. I also can't seem to shake the thought of him shoving his giant dong into her. Mine was the only one that she ever saw until his.
> 
> Mine is the average size...I googled it, but it just makes me feel inadequate. I don't know how to overcome this. Did any of you guys ever feel like this??? Any of you girls that can shed some light on this to make me feel better??? Or do I have a legitimate concern that I can't change.


Right there is THE reason I do not think I could ever reconcile with my ex. The mind movies would drive me insane...and like your wife - mine was supposedly a virgin before we got married (now I even wonder that). As I stated before - you go from being the man to "one of the men". It is a big difference.

Not to make light of the situation - but the average size thing reminds me of a story of my college days. One I was seeing a girl who dated alot of guys and after an intimate moment together she was saying ho enjoyable it was and it caught my ear so I spoke up saying I always felt a little inadequate "down there". She said "You have NO reason to feel inadequate." Knowing she dated alot and had a large enough sample to know where I fit in, I felt bolstered up and brave enough to ask "what percentile would you put me at?" (I was expecting (given her initial response) 70 or 80th percentile). To which she replied "50%". I was so hurt and pissed - I used to think "couldn't she have said even 51% and put me in the upper 50%". I never went out with her again.

I admire you for the question and know how it hits home but like others and my friends told me at the time - if I was not prepared for the answer, I should not have asked the question.
Best to let sleeping dogs lie.


----------



## manticore

samdew9 I wanted to encoruage you a Little more but I found an amazing advice given by "awake1" so I am just goin to quote him, I hope you are following his advice at heart.



awake1 said:


> I've learned that is a great way to move forward, with or without the FWW/FWH.
> 
> At first you don't know what to do. Your guts are on the floor. You want to punch someone, hug someone, scream, cry, drink yourself stupid. You just want the pain to stop.
> 
> You give them chances "tell the truth, or i'll leave" over and over. You want them to love you again, you want to turn back the clock. You want to get revenge and go out and have sex with the first person you can.
> 
> You try to logic and reason them. You tell them their lies are crazy, unbelievable. You ask them, plead with them to stop hurting you.
> 
> You blame them, you blame yourself. You do the "what if" dance. What if i was better looking? More charming? What if we had more sex? What if I didn't meet his/her needs.
> 
> This is the pitfall. This is where the quicksand is. Paralysis by analysis.
> 
> You want to do anything except what you should do: get up, get out, work on yourself. Rebuild yourself. Not so that you don't get cheated on again by being better looking or more attentive to their needs.
> 
> But you need to get stronger, so that you can move past this. You need to learn to live single again, so that you can be with someone. Whether you R or not. That means working on yourself.
> 
> You need a position of personal power, not one of desperation and hopelessness. You need to know, not think, you can be single and happy and find someone new.
> 
> If you're already broken down, it's your chance to build it all back better. You're capable of it.
> 
> I agree OP needs an overhaul, and this is the best chance he's ever had to do it.


:iagree:


----------



## Healer

warlock07 said:


> Suddenly this thread feels like a locker room where everyone is naked and comparing their **** sizes


Don't feel threatened by my 40 pounds of danglin' fury.


----------



## nxs450

warlock07 said:


> Suddenly this thread feels like a locker room where everyone is naked and comparing their **** sizes


lol, this thread has been high jacked.


----------



## 2ntnuf

You must have a hell of a huge forearm from shaking that thing after taking a piss.


----------



## Healer

2ntnuf said:


> You must have a hell of a huge forearm from shaking that thing after taking a piss.


I have to pump iron daily with the other arm to keep from looking like the Elephant Man.

Ok sorry, I'll stop. Glad to read we gave the OP some giggles, anyway.


----------



## 2ntnuf

:lol:


----------



## russell28

popeye, when not flacid..

4 inch circumference around the base, but 12 inch circumference around the head... and an anchor a tatoo... and even with the pear shaped pecker, he was still cheated on by Olivsk... with Bluto, who's European so he's a +0... I bet Olive had a tiny little vajayjay, I wonder if popeye ever had sex after eating a can of spinach.... so many questions.

C'mon, this thread is going flacid.. we need to not focus so hard on keeping it going, just try to relax... we can keep it up.


----------



## chillymorn

2ntnuf said:


> If you highlight the area that looks like I deleted, you will see the whole quote. I liked this up until that point. You can control who you are with. You can decide for yourself if they are satisfactory, just as they do with men. That is not wrong in any way. It's personal choice. Forget the rest and make your own decisions for you.
> 
> I thought the joke was very funny, but I know it doesn't work in a successful, long-term marriage. You each have to be satisfied. Delete the thread samdew.


I've heard many a theripst say you are responcible for your own orgasm.

meaning if you don't tell your partner what you like then shame on you. But the other half has to be vested in listening and put forth effort into it. if not eventually resentment builds.


----------



## 2ntnuf

chillymorn said:


> I've heard many a theripst say you are responcible for your own orgasm.
> 
> meaning if you don't tell your partner what you like then shame on you. But the other half has to be vested in listening and put forth effort into it. if not eventually resentment builds.


Yes, where technique, positions, and exploration is concerned. With size compatibility, there is variation in both men and women.


----------



## chillymorn

A white man and a black man are crossing the golden gate bridge at about the middle they stop to take a leak. the white guy says wow the waters cold and the black guy says and deep too.


a woman meets a guy on an airplane,they start talking and he asks where she going and she tells him vegas for a sex convention. she then tells him that its a well know fact the jewish/Indians have the biggest sex organs.after they land she says sorry but I didn't get your name and he says......tontogoldstein.


----------



## chillymorn

2ntnuf said:


> Yes, where technique, positions, and exploration is concerned. With size compatibility, there is variation in both men and women.


seems like where saying the same thing.

if a woman married a guy who was too smal for her liking or a guy married a woman who was to roomy then they made a big mistake. but even with that said there are many things you can do sexually beside PIV that could cover the gap.....lol so to speak.

but both people have to realise this and be open and honest.


----------



## EI

treyvion said:


> Most studies put the average erect c0ck length somewhere in the 5.5-6" range.
> 
> 7" would be above average on most of those 8" is in the top 95% Meaning 1 out of 20 c0cks. 7" is 5 out of 20 c0cks.
> 
> Most guys pad their stats, I would say by 1"...



So, does this mean that when my best friend tells me that her husband's is 11" that she is lying through her teeth?  LOL _I knew it!_


----------



## EI

warlock07 said:


> Suddenly this thread feels like a locker room where everyone is naked and comparing their **** sizes


_
Oops, I just walked into the wrong locker room (forum)  (EI slowly backing out of the men's locker room) _ 

This probably should be posted in The Men's Clubhouse! I thought I was entering CWI!


----------



## russell28

EI said:


> So, does this mean that when my best friend tells me that her husband's is 11" that she is lying through her teeth?  LOL _I knew it!_


I could never figure out why people do this, like I would never describe my wife to a man... Why would I want them to know anything like that? 

He's 11" and having sex with her is still like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...


----------



## Healer

EI said:


> So, does this mean that when my best friend tells me that her husband's is 11" that she is lying through her teeth?  LOL _I knew it!_


It's true, but that's centimeters, not inches.


----------



## ThePheonix

russell28 said:


> I'm not gay, but I wouldn't kick Bradley Cooper out of bed...


I don't know Rus. How many guys does a fellow have to want to lay down with before he's considered gay? I've said before, I'm with Phil on this one.


----------



## 2ntnuf

> like throwing a hot dog down a hallway


:lol: That ain't right.


----------



## stevehowefan

Mine's so big, I hang to the left.


----------



## doubletrouble

OP, you're not alone, and are getting good advice here. I'm above average and have been told it's "beautiful" many times. So never had any issues with my unit. But after infidelity, it doesn't matter. Good sex is in your mind. That's connected to your heart, which is hurting. 

Bottom line is that you satisfy her in bed, she satisfies you. There are many guys out there bigger than you, and many smaller. Don't put all your eggs in your penis basket, so to speak. Intimate, involved, loving intercourse has so much less to do with your equipment than your heart as to be nearly moot.


----------



## 2ntnuf

doubletrouble said:


> OP, you're not alone, and are getting good advice here. I'm above average and have been told it's "beautiful" many times. So never had any issues with my unit. But after infidelity, it doesn't matter. Good sex is in your mind. That's connected to your heart, which is hurting.
> 
> Bottom line is that you satisfy her in bed, she satisfies you. There are many guys out there bigger than you, and many smaller. Don't put all your eggs in your penis basket, so to speak. Intimate, involved, loving intercourse has so much less to do with your equipment than your heart as to be nearly moot.


I think, great sex, is a combination of all of these, including size compatibility. I do not mean to be offensive, but it IS important to be compatible in the size department. If she's struggling to squeeze you, there is no compatibility. If she is only squeezing because she's aroused, that's different. 

This is as vitally important as all the other stuff. She will leave if she does not feel somewhat, "filled up". The sex will be okay, but it will not be what truly satisfies. Since we are all made differently, there are those who fit better than others. And, life's sexual and other experiences in the past, do make a difference. Believing anything else is, in my opinion, denial that will harm a relationship.


----------



## Chris989

My wife's OM had a bigger one than mine (not difficult to achieve!).

Does it bother me?

I guess, to an extent. 

I know I'm a better "lover" than him, but ultimately he was banging my wife's brains out for 2 and a half years. That bothers me a whole lot more than the size of his wang.

My wife's orgasms aren't anything to do with size - I know that much - as such, the rest is just window dressing. After all, most any woman - afaik - can orgasm with just a finger so the penis size can't be *that* big of a deal...

It might help that I am more intelligent (by a long way), better looking, have a better job, am faithful, loyal, a good father, well liked, trusted etc. etc. and the OM is none of those things.

Maybe it's the same for you, maybe your wife's OM had a bigger wang - but your wife is with you now, not him. And that's what counts.


----------



## Healer

doubletrouble said:


> OP, you're not alone, and are getting good advice here. I'm above average and have been told it's "beautiful" many times. So never had any issues with my unit. But after infidelity, it doesn't matter. Good sex is in your mind. That's connected to your heart, which is hurting.
> 
> Bottom line is that you satisfy her in bed, she satisfies you. There are many guys out there bigger than you, and many smaller. Don't put all your eggs in your penis basket, so to speak. Intimate, involved, loving intercourse has so much less to do with your equipment than your heart as to be nearly moot.


LOL @ penis basket. Great gift idea. Fruit baskets are so 1990's.


----------



## EI

russell28 said:


> I could never figure out why people do this, like I would never describe my wife to a man... Why would I want them to know anything like that?
> 
> He's 11" and having sex with her is still like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...





Healer said:


> It's true, but that's centimeters, not inches.


Well, now it all makes sense!  She always has been one to exaggerate.  :rofl:

So, in response to the OP, we're not discussing the square footage of property, which can vary greatly. I would imagine that the "average male" does not vary "that much" in size from one to the next. Unless a man is extremely large and causes a woman to feel pain, or he is extremely small and can't be felt, at all, it shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with the size of his member. It has EVERYTHING to do with how you use your head. Annnnnnd, I'm not talking about the little one, I'm talking about the big one........ How you make a woman "feel" (not "felt up") about herself is going to set the tone and her mood. Concentrate on her, because I promise you, that 9 times out of 10, she is far more worried about your reaction to the size of her boobs and her a$$ than she is about the size of your penis. If you make her feel like she is beautiful and desirable, she probably won't even remember the size of your penis. Also, remember that when you make love to a woman, (or have sex..... whatever floats your boat) that there is more than just PIV. Start with her nose and don't stop until you get to her toes. Do that, and by the time you get to PIV....... Well, just give it a try and see if you like the results.


----------



## 2ntnuf

There used to be threads on settling for someone in marriage. It was said to be a bad thing.


----------



## Chris989

2ntnuf said:


> I think, great sex, is a combination of all of these, including size compatibility. I do not mean to be offensive, but it IS important to be compatible in the size department. If she's struggling to squeeze you, there is no compatibility. If she is only squeezing because she's aroused, that's different.
> 
> This is as vitally important as all the other stuff. She will leave if she does not feel somewhat, "filled up". The sex will be okay, but it will not be what truly satisfies. Since we are all made differently, there are those who fit better than others. And, life's sexual and other experiences in the past, do make a difference. Believing anything else is, in my opinion, denial that will harm a relationship.


So if a man doesn't feel "gripped" - will _he_ leave?


----------



## omgitselaine

warlock07 said:


> Suddenly this thread feels like a locker room where everyone is naked and comparing their **** sizes


Well ..... I've always wanted to be a fly on the wall or have invisible powers and be in a men's locker room to watch something like this hmmm ??

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## 2ntnuf

Chris989 said:


> So if a man doesn't feel "gripped" - will _he_ leave?





2ntnuf said:


> There used to be threads on settling for someone in marriage. It was said to be a bad thing.


----------



## adriana

samdew9 said:


> I want revenge so bad that I can taste it. But I know that the coward would retaliate which would lead to me most likely getting physical with him.
> 
> So, as much as I would like to pursue something like the above quote. I think that I better leave him alone and let the fact that he leads a pathetic life be my revenge.
> 
> I actually feel like I need to walk up to him and look him in the eye and then tell him that I forgive him.



Samdew9, the size of your penis isn't your problem, your spineless attitude is. As a woman I can tell you that there isn't a greater turn off than a man who isn't willing to stand up for himself. There are some situations in life when we simply have to do it regardless of consequences. 

The OM screwed your wife and you simply accepted it because you are scared of him. You are scared to confront him and you are scared to expose him. You know that, we know that, and what is more important, your wife knows that. Do you think that deep down she has much respect for you as a man? I doubt that. Her affair has run its course and, at least for now, she decided to settle for her next best option.... life with her spineless, pastor husband. Of course, you conveniently prefer to claim that you two reconciled.

If you want her to regain at least some respect for you, you have to expose the OM and make him pay for screwing her. If he decides to retaliate than be it. You have no choice. Your phantasy of walking up to him, looking him in the eye, and then telling him that you forgive him is simply ludicrous. It really is.

I apologize if I was too blunt but I would like to assure you one more time.... the size of your penis isn't a problem at all.


----------



## chillymorn

omgitselaine said:


> Well ..... I've always to be a fly on the wall or have invisible oowers and be in a men's locker room to watch something like this hmmm ??
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


well what did you think..........was it as exciting as you thought it would be?


I've heard womens locker room are worse with all this sorta of talk and I too always wanted to be a fly on the wall.

Oh my god I was like no way are you coming near me with that monster....giggle giggle but after I was like when can we see eachother again.


or


it was so small I said is it in yet.



or that one was tooooooo big and that one wass tooooo small but this one was just right!!!!!!!! too bad he turned out to be an a$$.


----------



## manticore

EI said:


> So, does this mean that when my best friend tells me that her husband's is 11" that she is lying through her teeth?  LOL _I knew it!_


 how does he use pants?


----------



## omgitselaine

chillymorn said:


> omgitselaine said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well ..... I've always to be a fly on the wall or have invisible oowers and be in a men's locker room to watch something like this hmmm ??
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_
> 
> 
> 
> well what did you think..........was it as exciting as you thought it would be?
> 
> 
> I've heard womens locker room are worse with all this sorta of talk and I too always wanted to be a fly on the wall.
> 
> Oh my god I was like no way are you coming near me with that monster....giggle giggle but after I was like when can we see eachother again.
> 
> 
> or
> 
> 
> it was so small I said is it in yet.
> 
> or that one was tooooooo big and that one wass tooooo small but this one was just right!!!!!!!! too bad he turned out to be an a$$.
Click to expand...

Ill have to let you know once i either obtain that special invisible power or .... turn into a fly ??? 

Im sure it will be quite ..... umm interesting wink wink !!

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## 2ntnuf

adriana said:


> Samdew9, the size of your penis isn't your problem, your spineless attitude is. As a woman I can tell you that there isn't a greater turn off than a man who isn't willing to stand up for himself. There are some situations in life when we simply have to do it regardless of consequences.
> 
> The OM screwed your wife and you simply accepted it because you are scared of him. You are scared to confront him and you are scared to expose him. You know that, we know that, and what is more important, your wife knows that. Do you think that deep down she has much respect for you as a man? I doubt that. Her affair has run its course and, at least for now, she decided to settle for her next best option.... life with her spineless, pastor husband. Of course, you conveniently prefer to claim that you two reconciled.
> 
> If you want her to regain at least some respect for you, you have to expose the OM and make him pay for screwing her. If he decides to retaliate than be it. You have no choice. Your phantasy of walking up to him, looking him in the eye, and then telling him that you forgive him is simply ludicrous. It really is.
> 
> I apologize if I was too blunt but I would like to assure you one more time.... the size of your penis isn't a problem at all.


I do believe this is true. Will you please explain why so many WS go for the guy with the bigger one? They are not all lying. Many women will go for the big guy when they are dating. What is that all about? In my opinion, women settle for a man who is a provider and confident, but not necessarily the best overall fit. Does that make sense?


----------



## Chris989

2ntnuf said:


> Quote:
> Originally Posted by Chris989 View Post
> So if a man doesn't feel "gripped" - will he leave?
> Quote:
> Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
> There used to be threads on settling for someone in marriage. It was said to be a bad thing.


There was me thinking the marriage vows didn't have a section about genital size. I must have missed that bit.

Are there any other issues that would be said to be "_settling for someone_"? Arm length? Nose shape? Eye colour? Career choice? Bigotry? _*Being opinionated*_?


----------



## Healer

adriana said:


> Samdew9, the size of your penis isn't your problem, your spineless attitude is. As a woman I can tell you that there isn't a greater turn off than a man who isn't willing to stand up for himself. There are some situations in life when we simply have to do it regardless of consequences.
> 
> The OM screwed your wife and you simply accepted it because you are scared of him. You are scared to confront him and you are scared to expose him. You know that, we know that, and what is more important, your wife knows that. Do you think that deep down she has much respect for you as a man? I doubt that. Her affair has run its course and, at least for now, she decided to settle for her next best option.... life with her spineless, pastor husband. Of course, you conveniently prefer to claim that you two reconciled.
> 
> If you want her to regain at least some respect for you, you have to expose the OM and make him pay for screwing her. If he decides to retaliate than be it. You have no choice. Your phantasy of walking up to him, looking him in the eye, and then telling him that you forgive him is simply ludicrous. It really is.
> 
> I apologize if I was too blunt but I would like to assure you one more time.... the size of your penis isn't a problem at all.


Wow, harsh.

And you're gorgeous, btw.


----------



## Chris989

2ntnuf said:


> I do believe this is true. Will you please explain why so many WS go for the guy with the bigger one? They are not all lying. Many women will go for the big guy when they are dating. What is that all about? In my opinion, women settle for a man who is a provider and confident, but not necessarily the best overall fit. Does that make sense?


Gamblers never tell you when they lose. 

How often is a woman going to say she went behind her husband's back - threw everything away, broke her vows, risked everything, for a weed of a guy with a small d1ck?


Confirmatory bias.


----------



## 2ntnuf

Chris989 said:


> There was me thinking the marriage vows didn't have a section about genital size. I must have missed that bit.
> 
> Are there any other issues that would be said to be "_settling for someone_"? Arm length? Nose shape? Eye colour? Career choice? Bigotry? _*Being opinionated*_?


:lol: Sorry, I had a feeling someone would trigger from all of this. 

Let me give you an example. I had a girlfriend once(I did really  ), who was really much larger than me. She was into some really strange stuff. She wanted me to get into a long closely personal relationship with her. She told me her intentions were marriage. She also told me I wasn't doing it for her. I tried all the normal things which worked on others. No, at that time, I was not as weak as now. 

She suggested we have another man join us in bed. She said she was used to having two men at the same time, vaginally. It is what got her off. Maybe, that will help explain. It is not just one thing, ever. I bet the very first to attract a woman is confidence. If he's no good in bed, after the confidence gets them there, it will be a problem, in the long run. I've even read posts here by women who talk about that, "filled up", feeling being very satisfying. Apparently, it's at least important to some.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

2ntnuf said:


> adriana said:
> 
> 
> 
> Samdew9, the size of your penis isn't your problem, your spineless attitude is. As a woman I can tell you that there isn't a greater turn off than a man who isn't willing to stand up for himself. There are some situations in life when we simply have to do it regardless of consequences.
> 
> The OM screwed your wife and you simply accepted it because you are scared of him. You are scared to confront him and you are scared to expose him. You know that, we know that, and what is more important, your wife knows that. Do you think that deep down she has much respect for you as a man? I doubt that. Her affair has run its course and, at least for now, she decided to settle for her next best option.... life with her spineless, pastor husband. Of course, you conveniently prefer to claim that you two reconciled.
> 
> If you want her to regain at least some respect for you, you have to expose the OM and make him pay for screwing her. If he decides to retaliate than be it. You have no choice. Your phantasy of walking up to him, looking him in the eye, and then telling him that you forgive him is simply ludicrous. It really is.
> 
> I apologize if I was too blunt but I would like to assure you one more time.... the size of your penis isn't a problem at all.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I do believe this is true. Will you please explain why so many WS go for the guy with the bigger one? They are not all lying. Many women will go for the big guy when they are dating. What is that all about? In my opinion, women settle for a man who is a provider and confident, but not necessarily the best overall fit. Does that make sense?
Click to expand...

Seems to me they didn't pull out a ruler and have them drop their pants before deciding to cheat. If the guy happens to have a bigger one it is typically a coincidence.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## 2ntnuf

Chris989 said:


> Gamblers never tell you when they lose.
> 
> How often is a woman going to say she went behind her husband's back - threw everything away, broke her vows, risked everything, for a weed of a guy with a small d1ck?
> 
> 
> Confirmatory bias.


Meh, that's your opinion.


----------



## 2ntnuf

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Seems to me they didn't pull out a ruler and have them drop their pants before deciding to cheat. If the guy happens to have a bigger one it is typically a coincidence.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


I don't totally agree, but thank you. I think there is much more to it. Part of it being a revenge type thing to hurt and part being a lie.


----------



## 3putt

2ntnuf said:


> :lol: Sorry, I had a feeling someone would trigger from all of this.
> 
> Let me give you an example. *I had a girlfriend once(I did really  ), who was really much larger than me.*


Wait, you once had a girlfriend that had a much bigger penor than you???????

You should start feeling better right about now, samdew!!


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

2ntnuf said:


> I don't totally agree, but thank you. I think there is much more to it. Part of it being a revenge type thing to hurt and part being a lie.


You don't agree? I'm sorry but the vast majority of women who cheat don't do it because they are unsatisfied with the size of their husband's tool. There are a long list of reasons that go before that one. Even if they were that myopic, I will say again ... how would they even know? Do they go to a bar and feel each guy up, taking inventory of who might fill them up the best before deciding who to go home with?


----------



## Healer

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Do they go to a bar and feel each guy up, taking inventory of who might fill them up the best before deciding who to go home with?


Probably a lot of them do, yes.


----------



## manticore

2ntnuf said:


> I do believe this is true. Will you please explain why so many WS go for the guy with the bigger one? They are not all lying. Many women will go for the big guy when they are dating. What is that all about? In my opinion, women settle for a man who is a provider and confident, but not necessarily the best overall fit. Does that make sense?


I think you are overthinking this

sure there must be some women that have cheated because they hear that OM had a large d*ck and was a manhore (BTW who wnts this kind of women in their lives), but most women don't cheat for something related to the size of the d*ck

hell we have users whose wives had cheted with guys with ED or with guys who can't ejaculate.

sure some wanna be alpha pricks have large d*cks and they become predators using that as part oF his game but hey I am sure that many BS have been also bigger that their OMs and that didn't stop the WW to keep cheating with them.

is like a man cheating with a woman with big boobs while his wife have small ones, sure the BW will feel that her husband cheated for that, and sure OW probably had used her big breasts as part of her appealing aptitude, but this does not mean that if the woman would had the same bust size than the BW the man had stopped himself from cheating.

is the same for men.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

Healer said:


> Probably a lot of them do, yes.


Ha! Ok, this discussion is absurd.


----------



## Machiavelli

samdew9 said:


> As yes we are very intimate. More than ever. In fact this is the 10th and since New Years day it's been 6 times so far. Before it was 1-2X's per week. Now it's more like 3-4 and sometimes more per week. I have been hitting the gym like a madman so I can keep up. But even that makes me wonder if it is really her desire for me or is it just her giving me all the sex I can handle and more because of her guilt or whatever.


Look, I used to be pretty far out on the bell curve in this department, as in "Ouch, you're hurting me" "You're going too deep" "I won't do doggy with you" "slower" etc. Real life is not a porno movie, although a lot of girls really are into size,even when it's kind of painful. Didn't understand that part. Now that I'm average (thanks to prostate cancer surgery) I'm not going to lie, I don't like it. But that's just me missing the girls looking at my crotch. My wife likes the new smaller me, except for the loss of girth. Now I get "Are you in, yet? I don't feel anything." 

Basically, if she can feel you for the first 3 inches, the rest is all in her head.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

When push comes to shove, a man who is happy with his d*ck and proud to use it as best he can, is the most attractive, regardless of size. I like it when hanging with a guy if he finds a way to let me know what he's packing. It's not what he's packing that is the telling thing, it's that he's happy to communicate what it is, regardless of size, he's hanging out the shingle. Of course, there's a fine line between letting a lady know what's there, and grandstanding. For me, regardless of my attraction or intent, it's always nice to scratch off the mental box that's labeled "equipment in good working order" and guy is healthy about it mentally. 

The bottom line is that the guy is more than okay with what's he got in his pocket.

My ex was big and he went through some dumb routine of demanding that I beg for it before the first time we had relations. I should have said right then and there "you are a twisted and strange person and there's no way I'm begging for something that should be shared." However my first ever real boyfriend was large and he was cool about everything, I was his first and it was a real playground. But never got hurt or had to beg for anything. Was only ex ruined it for me wrt anything big. The beginning was probably just the tip of the iceberg.

OP if your spouse is no longer with this loser with the big schlo*g why not accept your superiority as a lover and let it go.


----------



## VermisciousKnid

Healer said:


> Probably a lot of them do, yes.


It happened in "The Last Seduction" starring Peter Berg and Linda Fiorentino. Berg's character is trying to pick up Fiorentino's character in a bar and he uses the ultra suave pickup line: "I'm hung like a horse." She says something like, "Mr. Ed, Let's see it." and starts to unzip him. 

Being that life imitates art I expect that lots of confident women employ this tactic. Unless they didn't see this movie. LOL


----------



## harrybrown

OP-

I do hope you can get an honest discussion with your wife about her affair and her comments to you.

If you can not get closure, and her working hard for the R, you should file.


----------



## Healer

VermisciousKnid said:


> It happened in "The Last Seduction" starring Peter Berg and Linda Fiorentino. Berg's character is trying to pick up Fiorentino's character in a bar and he uses the ultra suave pickup line: "I'm hung like a horse." She says something like, "Mr. Ed, Let's see it." and starts to unzip him.
> 
> Being that life imitates art I expect that lots of confident women employ this tactic. Unless they didn't see this movie. LOL


Yup - and then she smelled her fingers, remember? LOL. She was HOT.


----------



## Lordhavok

If my wife f*cked someone with a 3 incher I would still be just as pissed if he had 10. Its not the size of your pencil, its how you write your name. Dude dont worry about d*ck size and deal with the cheating wife.


----------



## VermisciousKnid

Healer said:


> Yup - and then she smelled her fingers, remember? LOL. She was HOT.


Didn't remember that. I do remember there was one heck of a surprise ending and not a happy one at that. 

And this movie would probably trigger half of TAM since there's so much betrayal and deception involved.


----------



## Healer

VermisciousKnid said:


> Didn't remember that. I do remember there was one heck of a surprise ending and not a happy one at that.
> 
> And this movie would probably trigger half of TAM since there's so much betrayal and deception involved.


Probably worth a download and rewatch.


----------



## treyvion

EI said:


> So, does this mean that when my best friend tells me that her husband's is 11" that she is lying through her teeth?  LOL _I knew it!_


Of course. Even the very largest guys in porn are at or around 10"... Porn is similar to the NBA for height where the average height is 6'7.5"


----------



## treyvion

doubletrouble said:


> OP, you're not alone, and are getting good advice here. I'm above average and have been told it's "beautiful" many times. So never had any issues with my unit. But after infidelity, it doesn't matter. Good sex is in your mind. That's connected to your heart, which is hurting.
> 
> Bottom line is that you satisfy her in bed, she satisfies you. There are many guys out there bigger than you, and many smaller. Don't put all your eggs in your penis basket, so to speak. Intimate, involved, loving intercourse has so much less to do with your equipment than your heart as to be nearly moot.


Awesome sex is about how deepin her head you get. A larger **** doesn't hurt for someone who needs to see it. It's kinda like the lady with your preference of body shape, eye candy and excitement it provides.


----------



## treyvion

2ntnuf said:


> :lol: Sorry, I had a feeling someone would trigger from all of this.
> 
> Let me give you an example. I had a girlfriend once(I did really  ), who was really much larger than me. She was into some really strange stuff. She wanted me to get into a long closely personal relationship with her. She told me her intentions were marriage. She also told me I wasn't doing it for her. I tried all the normal things which worked on others. No, at that time, I was not as weak as now.


What "weakened" you? Being cheated on ina WAS situation stripped your confidence and dignity low?



2ntnuf said:


> :
> 
> She suggested we have another man join us in bed. She said she was used to having two men at the same time, vaginally. It is what got her off. Maybe, that will help explain.


I know you didn't go for this bullcrap...



2ntnuf said:


> :
> It is not just one thing, ever. I bet the very first to attract a woman is confidence. If he's no good in bed, after the confidence gets them there, it will be a problem, in the long run. I've even read posts here by women who talk about that, "filled up", feeling being very satisfying. Apparently, it's at least important to some.


Confidence is huge. It's that part I was talking about getting deeply in their head is much of the battle.


----------



## treyvion

Lordhavok said:


> If my wife f*cked someone with a 3 incher I would still be just as pissed if he had 10. Its not the size of your pencil, its how you write your name. Dude dont worry about d*ck size and deal with the cheating wife.


If you just had to be cheated on and your choice of affair partners was the 10" guy or the 3" guy, you'd be happy to be cheated on with the 3" guy.


----------



## treyvion

Chris989 said:


> So if a man doesn't feel "gripped" - will _he_ leave?


He sure might leave, he will figure what's the point.


----------



## Healer

treyvion said:


> If you just had to be cheated on and your choice of affair partners was the 10" guy or the 3" guy, you'd be happy to be cheated on with the 3" guy.


Yes, ecstatic.


----------



## Cloaked

Kinda embarassing but...vagina size. I'm just too loose!

Sorry mate, couldn't resist
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## treyvion

VermisciousKnid said:


> It happened in "The Last Seduction" starring Peter Berg and Linda Fiorentino. Berg's character is trying to pick up Fiorentino's character in a bar and he uses the ultra suave pickup line: "I'm hung like a horse." She says something like, "Mr. Ed, Let's see it." and starts to unzip him.
> 
> Being that life imitates art I expect that lots of confident women employ this tactic. Unless they didn't see this movie. LOL


Life does imitate art, so you hit the nail on this one.


----------



## HarryDoyle

It cuts both ways so to speak. According to my WW, the POSOM's um, tool, was really small, and I believe her. Great huh? Not so much. When I asked if she ever did anal sex with him (she won't with me) she started crying and said, and I quote: "Yes, but he was real small!!!!!". Yeah, that made it all OK. I pretty much got the same response for oral sex, I guess it's harder to choke on a small wiener and it doesn't hurt your mouth so much. how do you argue that one?
"Don't worry honey, I won't let it get to big." Oh, and finally: "He never made me cum!" No? Well he sure tried for a year. Yeah, I don't think size has anything to do with it in the long run. Pluses and minuses all the way around.


----------



## PBear

omgitselaine said:


> Well ..... I've always wanted to be a fly on the wall or have invisible powers and be in a men's locker room to watch something like this hmmm ??
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Bad girl! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ThePheonix

adriana said:


> The OM screwed your wife and you simply accepted it because you are scared of him.


I take some exception to "The OM screwed your wife". My observation is "your wife wanted and allowed the OM to screw her".

My other observation is that if more guys ventured to polish their technique rather than mesmerize over "size" the women folk would be happier for it.


----------



## kristin2349

VermisciousKnid said:


> It happened in "The Last Seduction" starring Peter Berg and Linda Fiorentino. Berg's character is trying to pick up Fiorentino's character in a bar and he uses the ultra suave pickup line: "I'm hung like a horse." She says something like, "Mr. Ed, Let's see it." and starts to unzip him.
> 
> Being that life imitates art I expect that lots of confident women employ this tactic. Unless they didn't see this movie. LOL


I had forgotten about this movie it was really good. 

So much sword speak. I am obviously not a size queen (unless you are talking diamonds). Then I am willing to sustain injury to accommodate size

I haven't been around but my group of friends are all very honest about this stuff. We talk about everything and get pretty graphic. It's not uncommon to talk about bad skills or weird quirks and fetishes. We rarely talk about size unless it's either an acorn or an anaconda.

Relax, learn to use what you've got. I'd much rather deal with an average package with perfect delivery, than a bulky one that is clumsy and leaves me in pain (that is as delicate as I can get).


----------



## weightlifter

Sam let me reverse the question to you. For this exercize assume both women see your physical attractiveness the same. Lets pretend you divorce. You are dating two women: 

Debbie doubledees is a solid 7 on the looks scale. 110 pounds at 5 foot 6. 36dd and perky. Personality is ok. The sex is ok. She rather likes you enough to consider her for exclusivity. Nothing great but ok.

Britney Beecup is a 5. Face is decent. Nothing to write home about. Boobs are 35 and really kind of a small b cup. She has say 10 pounds in her ass she just cant seem to get rid of but nothing too bad. She is really really into you. You kiss and sometimes shell slip a bittle tongue your way just to keep you on you toes. The sex is rocking and she gets so wet you have to change the sheets afterward. She orgasms so hard you can feel her pvssy pulse as she gasps and involuntarily clenches her fingers on your back.

Pick one: 

Did you pick the girl with the below average boobs? How long did it take you to make the decision? What makes you think given the same level of perceived physical attractiveness, most women dont choose at least somewhat like you?


----------



## omgitselaine

PBear said:


> omgitselaine said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well ..... I've always wanted to be a fly on the wall or have invisible powers and be in a men's locker room to watch something like this hmmm ??
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_
> 
> 
> 
> Bad girl!
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
Click to expand...

Looking over my shoulder ..... who me umm bad ???

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## weightlifter

Your wife got played by a player. Note this does not make her not guilty. Congrats you belong in the same club as RDMU, gijeffro, RTBP, and a half dozen others i have read but cant chase down the names.

Note all men i have respect for.

I can teach any median male how to do player 101. Its neither complex nor difficult.


----------



## ThePheonix

weightlifter said:


> Pick one:


Screw that WL. I'm keeping both of them until I find one with the double Ds and the big butt. (then I'm going to try to keep all three)

Seriously, when you get my age, one that treats you good, is there when you need her, and puts you above everyone else and even herself, that trumps the show girl with the legs to the ground, the ass to die for and the double D's.


----------



## IronhorseCowboy

There was a time in life I would have chose debbie doubledees. Instead I was blessed with a wife somewhere in between and I'm happy. 

And I am "mr average" in the manhood department. It doesn't bother me that there are men bigger and that they were with my wife before she met me. That's life. In fact I had women before my wife whom were probably with bigger guys and they still came back for more. 

I know it's easier said than done, but stop worrying about it. If you keep worrying about it, you will never be able to move on.


----------



## MattMatt

So maybe I was right to not want any details for fear of what I might have found out.


----------



## samdew9

adriana said:


> Samdew9, the size of your penis isn't your problem, your spineless attitude is.


You should meet me before you call me spineless. It has taken every ounce of strength that I have to stay away from him. The facts are that if he were to retaliate both my wife and I would lose our jobs. Of course he would as well, but he doesn't have 5 kids to put food on the table for. I don't confront him because I am sure that I would get physical with him. I wrote my reaction to a time when I thought that I saw him. I have conduct standards in my contract with my church. Beating some worthless little puke to a pulp or having the fact that my wife cheated violates that and would mean my termination. The big box store my wife and her former AP have a policy against work affairs and so they would both be terminated as well. With jobs hard to find and the fact that we live in the churches house, jeopardizing those things isn't the smartest plan of action.


----------



## 2ntnuf

3putt said:


> Wait, you once had a girlfriend that had a much bigger penor than you???????
> 
> You should start feeling better right about now, samdew!!



:lol: That's funny. 



manticore said:


> I think you are overthinking this
> 
> sure there must be some women that have cheated because they hear that OM had a large d*ck and was a manhore (BTW who wnts this kind of women in their lives), but most women don't cheat for something related to the size of the d*ck
> 
> hell we have users whose wives had cheted with guys with ED or with guys who can't ejaculate.
> 
> sure some wanna be alpha pricks have large d*cks and they become predators using that as part oF his game but hey I am sure that many BS have been also bigger that their OMs and that didn't stop the WW to keep cheating with them.
> 
> is like a man cheating with a woman with big boobs while his wife have small ones, sure the BW will feel that her husband cheated for that, and sure OW probably had used her big breasts as part of her appealing aptitude, but this does not mean that if the woman would had the same bust size than the BW the man had stopped himself from cheating.
> 
> is the same for men.




:lol:


Where the hell did I say that a woman will cheat because she wants a bigger member inside her? 

Holy crap you guys are just looking for something to jump on. 

Okay, here's what I was trying to say to you all.

1. chris989 I apologize for hurting your feelings. I had no idea your penis size was a trigger. 

2. 3putt and manticore, I know you guys would love to think that's why my x2 left me. It's not. She left for several reasons, that not actually being one of them, but it could have had a factor. I don't know. 

What I was addressing was the fact that there ARE different size women, just as there are different size men. If you match up a large male organ with a small vagina, it's not going to be a great deal of fun for the woman, at least at first. I think there is a post here, in this thread, by a woman, who pretty much stated that. 

On the other end of the spectrum, if you match up a small male organ with a large vagina, it's not going to be very pleasurable either. 

You don't have to agree with me, but I know it's true. 

Here's another thing I was stating. skin and tissue can stretch only so far and then they start to tear along lines. I think you can agree with me on that one, also. 

You guys make me laugh. Thanks for the humor.


----------



## 2ntnuf

2ntnuf said:


> I do believe this is true. Will you please explain why so many WS go for the guy with the bigger one? They are not all lying. Many women will go for the big guy when they are dating. What is that all about? In my opinion, women settle for a man who is a provider and confident, but not necessarily the best overall fit. Does that make sense?





JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Seems to me they didn't pull out a ruler and have them drop their pants before deciding to cheat. If the guy happens to have a bigger one it is typically a coincidence.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_





2ntnuf said:


> *I don't totally agree*, but thank you. I think there is much more to it. *Part of it being a revenge type thing to hurt and part being a lie*.





JustSomeGuyWho said:


> *You don't agree?* I'm sorry but the vast majority of women who cheat don't do it because they are unsatisfied with the size of their husband's tool. There are a long list of reasons that go before that one. Even if they were that myopic, I will say again ... how would they even know? Do they go to a bar and feel each guy up, taking inventory of who might fill them up the best before deciding who to go home with?


I don't know how to make this more clear for you? What I don't agree with is that she will just accept someone smaller than you for the one she is going to stay with, in most cases. 

No, I don't think she measures the guy. I do think women are much smarter and have better communication about men than men do about women. I can't prove it because certain threads are long gone. I can't give you an example from real life, it's in my memory. 

Anyway, they will go through a few until the find the one that they like the best, has some confidence, is a decent man, has a decent job that will keep them near where they feel most comfortable in society, and provides the most comfort. 

I don't think that is too tough to grasp? 

In many cases, the guy is bigger, OR, she says he is. I think if you look above, you will see that I wrote something about that. I've done the work of putting this together, you can read for yourself. 

That's why I said, either she is trying to hurt him or he IS really bigger. Women hurt when they break up with a man. It's painful. One of the ways they hurt the ex is to either actually sleep with someone bigger or just lie about it. 

Understand me now?


----------



## 3putt

2ntnuf said:


> *2. 3putt and manticore, I know you guys would love to think that's why my x2 left me.* It's not. She left for several reasons, that not actually being one of them, but it could have had a factor. I don't know.


I don't think that at all, partner.....not one bit. You just gave me a comedic window of opportunity and I dove through it.

Hell, I had a woman tell me one time I didn't even need a penis as my oral skills sent her to the moon. Judging by her body spasms, I was forced to believe her. It really is about the foreplay....for the vast majority of women anyway.

It's very seldom about penis size, and if it were the core of the problem, then I would question a whole lot more than just what I was packing downstairs.

I don't even think about this kind of nonsense anymore.


----------



## 2ntnuf

What also happened was, my family abandoned me. They took her side. I was alone in it. They wouldn't listen to my side and I couldn't put it all together to tell them because I was so out of it mentally. I was very close to suicide. I called the hotline a couple of times. I was a mess.


----------



## somethingelse

To answer the OP and his question..All I can say is to accept yourself and what you have been given. Love your body no matter what, because at the end of the day, you're always going to be you. 

I've asked the same question about myself. Are my breasts too small? Is my husband attracted to me? He has in fact cheated on me plenty before with women that have bigger or even massive breasts. But he also claims he loves mine and that mine are much better because I can really get close to him when we're hopping on the good foot to do the bad thing. 

Try to see your own traits as positive. And recognize all the other good things about yourself. Other parts of your body, your personality, etc. Don't listen when people try to define what is desirable. It's just a bunch of bull.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

somethingelse said:


> To answer the OP and his question..All I can say is to accept yourself and what you have been given. Love your body no matter what, because at the end of the day, you're always going to be you.
> 
> I've asked the same question about myself. Are my breasts too small? Is my husband attracted to me? He has in fact cheated on me plenty before with women that have bigger or even massive breasts. But he also claims he loves mine and that mine are much better because I can really get close to him when we're hopping on the good foot to do the bad thing.
> 
> Try to see your own traits as positive. And recognize all the other good things about yourself. Other parts of your body, your personality, etc. Don't listen when people try to define what is desirable. It's just a bunch of bull.


This!

... and I'll tell you the same thing I told OP ... he didn't cheat on you because he was unsatisfied with the size of your breasts ... and in the remote chance he did, he's a moron


----------



## Horizon

samdew9 said:


> I think that the thing that bothers me the most is that before the PA (it was already in EA mode) he sent her a picture of his penis. I asked her if she commented on it and compared it to mine. She said yes but cannot remember what was said at all. I just think that she is trying to spare me. But I told her that it's something that I need to know to be able to get past this thing. So maintains that she can't remember.


They can never remember....


----------



## nuclearnightmare

adriana said:


> Samdew9, the size of your penis isn't your problem, your spineless attitude is. As a woman I can tell you that there isn't a greater turn off than a man who isn't willing to stand up for himself. There are some situations in life when we simply have to do it regardless of consequences.
> 
> The OM screwed your wife and you simply accepted it because you are scared of him. You are scared to confront him and you are scared to expose him. You know that, we know that, and what is more important, your wife knows that. Do you think that deep down she has much respect for you as a man? I doubt that. Her affair has run its course and, at least for now, she decided to settle for her next best option.... life with her spineless, pastor husband. Of course, you conveniently prefer to claim that you two reconciled.
> 
> If you want her to regain at least some respect for you, you have to expose the OM and make him pay for screwing her. If he decides to retaliate than be it. You have no choice. Your phantasy of walking up to him, looking him in the eye, and then telling him that you forgive him is simply ludicrous. It really is.
> 
> I apologize if I was too blunt but I would like to assure you one more time.... the size of your penis isn't a problem at all.


"Standing up for himself" does not mean beating up the other man, it means divorcing his wife. But given that we disagree on that - I d agree with you that he should stand up for himself.

As for the respect issue, that's also important. Given that his wife is a *****, I have no idea how he he'll ever respect her again....


----------



## somethingelse

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> This!
> 
> ... and I'll tell you the same thing I told OP ... he didn't cheat on you because he was unsatisfied with the size of your breasts ... and in the remote chance he did, he's a moron


thank you


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

nuclearnightmare said:


> adriana said:
> 
> 
> 
> Samdew9, the size of your penis isn't your problem, your spineless attitude is. As a woman I can tell you that there isn't a greater turn off than a man who isn't willing to stand up for himself. There are some situations in life when we simply have to do it regardless of consequences.
> 
> The OM screwed your wife and you simply accepted it because you are scared of him. You are scared to confront him and you are scared to expose him. You know that, we know that, and what is more important, your wife knows that. Do you think that deep down she has much respect for you as a man? I doubt that. Her affair has run its course and, at least for now, she decided to settle for her next best option.... life with her spineless, pastor husband. Of course, you conveniently prefer to claim that you two reconciled.
> 
> If you want her to regain at least some respect for you, you have to expose the OM and make him pay for screwing her. If he decides to retaliate than be it. You have no choice. Your phantasy of walking up to him, looking him in the eye, and then telling him that you forgive him is simply ludicrous. It really is.
> 
> I apologize if I was too blunt but I would like to assure you one more time.... the size of your penis isn't a problem at all.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "Standing up for himself" does not mean beating up the other man, it means divorcing his wife. But given that we disagree on that - I d agree with you that he should stand up for himself.
> 
> As for the respect issue, that's also important. Given that his wife is a *****, I have no idea how he he'll ever respect her again....
Click to expand...

If I beat up every person who disrespected me ... well, then I would be a thug. Stand up for yourself, yes ... do something stupid in the name of honor, no.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## manticore

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> If I beat up every person who disrespected me ... well, then I would be a thug. Stand up for yourself, yes ... do something stupid in the name of honor, no.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


sorry but she never suggested to beat the OM, she wrote that he have to make him face consequences by exposing him and by this way regain her selfrespect and the respect of his wife (of course he already responded why he don't expose him).

the part where she wrote about a beating, is related to not be affraid of one as retaliation for exposing OM.


----------



## ConanHub

samdew9 said:


> You should meet me before you call me spineless. It has taken every ounce of strength that I have to stay away from him. The facts are that if he were to retaliate both my wife and I would lose our jobs. Of course he would as well, but he doesn't have 5 kids to put food on the table for. I don't confront him because I am sure that I would get physical with him. I wrote my reaction to a time when I thought that I saw him. I have conduct standards in my contract with my church. Beating some worthless little puke to a pulp or having the fact that my wife cheated violates that and would mean my termination. The big box store my wife and her former AP have a policy against work affairs and so they would both be terminated as well. With jobs hard to find and the fact that we live in the churches house, jeopardizing those things isn't the smartest plan of action.


And there is the truth.

You have just stated what you value most and it isn't a good marriage.

If finances are your main goal, and you just said they were, then you should shut up about who your wife gets banged by and maybe try to make a buck off of it.

It really seems you are a coward, not to mean getting in a fight, but you are so damn afraid of your surroundings, finances, church house, really?

I think you have an ethical duty to do what is right.

There are jobs that are paying quite good at entry level around the country, and a move would definitely do your family good.

Your kids need to see you take control of this and they need to see there mother change.

Right now they are looking at some form of **** and a gutter tramp. 

You need to remove yourself from ministry, you aren't suited. You don't even have your house in order, how the hell are you telling other people what to do?

Your situation won't get better until you do some drastic changes.

Your wife does need to respect you, but she never will if you don't make some serious changes.

If you are unwilling, then simply accept your pathetic situation as is. 

Your wife will probably keep cheating or just leave.
I know well what I am speaking of, I have watched it happen.

Hope you change, take care.


----------



## Mr Blunt

> *Quote of Samdew9*
> I am someone that needs the details for closure but she has not wanted to give me those details


*You already have more details than you can handle*. You know that your wife betrayed you and that is enough fro you to take the right actions.

What are the right actions?

1	Shut the hell up about the affair. Talk about it only if she wants to talk about it. You wanting to talk about the affair damages your emotions and probably damages your wife.

2	Put a lot more effort in you improving yourself than you do trying to get sex details from your wife.

3	Make sure that you have really have forgiven her

4	You need as much building up as your wife as you feel very inferior. You are mostly responsible for your building up





> *Quote of Samdew9*
> But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine.


Several women on this thread have told you that size is not the determining factor. Your infatuation with this issue only shows that your self esteem is affected too much. *Bottom line is that if any woman is going to make penis size the determining factor in love then that woman is not worth having*

Stop being obsessed with the OM. Do not let him rule your emotions. Besides He is just another man among millions that will stick his dong in any woman that will let him. just like any male dog that finds a bytch in heat. You cannot fight millions of men. The only one that promised to be faithful to you is your wife not any man. She is the one that you loved and she is the one that matters o you. *Forget the OM and either work on you and help your wife any way that you can or divorce and start another life. Do not ride the fence*.

You may think that I am too rough on you? Ask yourself this question:

What is best for me? *

Should I keep getting more sex details even though I can not handle the details I now have?
Should I keep feeding my self esteem problems by worrying about how big OM rod is and that my rod is smaller?

Or

Stop trying to get more details, like moth to the flame, and concentrate on the main issue of reconciliation and forgiveness*
*Build yourself up so that you can mean it by saying “...any woman that makes dong size the determining factor in love is not worth having”* 

Several women on here have concurred with your wife that penis size is not the determining factor in love so DROP IT!

So you are the one that will determine what actions above are best for you.


----------



## lordmayhem

Wow, 12 pages in one day so far. 

With that said, this is a major problem for many betrayed spouses. For betrayed men, they wonder if the OM had a bigger penis, or was a better lover. For betrayed women, they wonder if the OW is prettier, slimmer, larger breasts, better lover, etc.

When my XW cheated on me many years ago, it was definitely a PA, but for some odd reason, I don't remember if I was wondering if OM had a bigger penis. I was in too much of a rage I guess. But that's why this time around, if my current fWW had a PA, I wouldn't have even offered R, because I can't deal with it. Twice in this lifetime would simply be too much. Therefore, I can sympathize with the OP because it's such a blow to one's self esteem. 

All I can say to the OP is this: Get into IC and perhaps if needed, on meds to help stabilize your emotions. I feel for you.


----------



## illwill

Op may not be a doormat, but he does a he!! of a impression.


----------



## FormerSelf

lordmayhem said:


> Wow, 12 pages in one day so far.











Is it a TAM record...?


----------



## somethingelse

I was thinking the same thing, "wow, 12 pages.......hmm...."


----------



## HansD

2ntnuf said:


> I don't know how to make this more clear for you? What I don't agree with is that she will just accept someone smaller than you for the one she is going to stay with, in most cases.
> 
> No, I don't think she measures the guy. I do think women are much smarter and have better communication about men than men do about women. I can't prove it because certain threads are long gone. I can't give you an example from real life, it's in my memory.
> 
> Anyway, they will go through a few until the find the one that they like the best, has some confidence, is a decent man, has a decent job that will keep them near where they feel most comfortable in society, and provides the most comfort.
> 
> I don't think that is too tough to grasp?
> 
> In many cases, the guy is bigger, OR, she says he is. I think if you look above, you will see that I wrote something about that. I've done the work of putting this together, you can read for yourself.
> 
> That's why I said, either she is trying to hurt him or he IS really bigger. Women hurt when they break up with a man. It's painful. One of the ways they hurt the ex is to either actually sleep with someone bigger or just lie about it.
> 
> Understand me now?


We don't have to look far for the biggest **** in this thread do we 2ntnuf?


----------



## WyshIknew

samdew9 said:


> I think that the thing that bothers me the most is that before the PA (it was already in EA mode) he sent her a picture of his penis. I asked her if she commented on it and compared it to mine. She said yes but cannot remember what was said at all. I just think that she is trying to spare me. But I told her that it's something that I need to know to be able to get past this thing. So maintains that she can't remember.


And yet in a previous thread she according to you said this.



samdew9 said:


> Thank you everyone. She actually confessed more to me last night. Basically stuck to the only did it once. But there was other times of touching and oral. She seemed to be more open to writing the NC letter as well. She also said that she can see that we are not going to get through this as long as I have questions going through my mind and that whatever I want to know I need to just ask her. But the thing is, do I really want to know some of this stuff? I mean yes, I want to know when the first physical contact was, how they avoided detection and so forth. But I don't know if I want to know if she spit or swallowed. Even though that stuff goes through my mind all of the time it seems. After she told me what she told me last night, I could start to piece it together. I could almost pinpoint the dates that she did stuff with him based on her countenance. But I feel like the dad in a River Runs Through It when his son is killed. He wanted to know every little detail down to which bones were broken and where. I struggle with wanting to know every minute detail even though I know that I don't want to hear it. But I feel like I need to hear it so that my mind can't wander at all and then maybe I can heal quicker. When she told me that he was being deployed I told her that I will be hoping like heck for an IED. And if he does get killed, I will go to his funeral and hang with the westboro Baptist scumbags and let them know what the piece of crap did. I actually wouldn't ever do that or hope for that, but it sounded good and made me feel a little bit better.




Not exactly sticking to her word is she?


----------



## theroad

samdew9 said:


> I am someone that needs the details for closure but she has not wanted to give me those details. She would always say that it doesn't matter. That I am the only one that has ever satisfied her sexually and that her one time with the other puke was awful.
> 
> But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine. She told me that was why it was awful, that it hurt a lot when he put it inside of her and that (and the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed. But now I am still very insecure about it and have that feeling of "if it was only a little bit bigger" I know that my wife is satisfied when we have sex because I can feel it. But I fall out every so often and think about how small mine is. I also can't seem to shake the thought of him shoving his giant dong into her. Mine was the only one that she ever saw until his.


WW always trickle truth. It took you how long to get this much info?

WW are known liars. The only way you will get the truth is a polygraph.

Your WW will never admit that she liked his equipment or that the sex was good.

She feels that you will not be able to handle the truth.


----------



## theroad

samdew9 said:


> I think that the thing that bothers me the most is that before the PA (it was already in EA mode) he sent her a picture of his penis. I asked her if she commented on it and compared it to mine. She said yes but cannot remember what was said at all. I just think that she is trying to spare me. But I told her that it's something that I need to know to be able to get past this thing. So maintains that she can't remember.


More trickle truth. That picture gave her the incentive to go from EA to PA.

Your WW will never be honest with you.


----------



## Rottdad42

Okay well no sense in reading past the first page. Dont ask the question if you're not sure you can handle the answer. Myself I won't ask that, my wife says to me you are all man or God you know what you are doing. I am above average I know but if you are worried that he was better, you will drive yourself nuts. Some guys yeah are loaded, but can't shoot for s**t. Btw she remembers everything don't let her zwing that past you. Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## theroad

mineforever said:


> For a women making love is one thing and having sex is another..... one is the fulfilling act of making love with your man which engages your mind and body (intimacy for a women starts in her mind...unlike a man which intimacy starts with the physical). The other is just the physical release of sexual tension....nice but not the same. My guess is your wife is trying to tell you the affair was a "having sex" and it wasn't the same to her as having sex with you. Kinda like comparing apples and oranges. If they had been having sex for a long period of time I would say it might be different but since it was only once and not a good one at that....my guess is she never really bonded with him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


More trickle truth with psycho babble thrown in for good measure. OP's WW does not need help doing damage control.


----------



## theroad

russell28 said:


> Ha.. 7 and a half... that's not big, that's average.. love that you added in the half. If you're 'just over' you should have gone 7.6..


No that is above average.


----------



## theroad

ThePheonix said:


> I don't know Rus. How many guys does a fellow have to want to lay down with before he's considered gay? I've said before, I'm with Phil on this one.


Only one.


----------



## theroad

Healer said:


> Don't feel threatened by my 40 pounds of danglin' fury.


If toilet paper does not do the job then may I suggest a hot wash cloth.


----------



## theroad

HarryDoyle said:


> It cuts both ways so to speak. According to my WW, the POSOM's um, tool, was really small, and I believe her. Great huh? Not so much. When I asked if she ever did anal sex with him (she won't with me) she started crying and said, and I quote: "Yes, but he was real small!!!!!". Yeah, that made it all OK. I pretty much got the same response for oral sex, I guess it's harder to choke on a small wiener and it doesn't hurt your mouth so much. how do you argue that one?
> "Don't worry honey, I won't let it get to big." Oh, and finally: "He never made me cum!" No? Well he sure tried for a year. Yeah, I don't think size has anything to do with it in the long run. Pluses and minuses all the way around.


You want to buy a bridge in Brooklyn?


----------



## russell28

HarryDoyle said:


> It cuts both ways so to speak. According to my WW, the POSOM's um, tool, was really small, and I believe her. Great huh? Not so much. When I asked if she ever did anal sex with him (she won't with me) she started crying and said, and I quote: "Yes, but he was real small!!!!!". Yeah, that made it all OK. I pretty much got the same response for oral sex, I guess it's harder to choke on a small wiener and it doesn't hurt your mouth so much. how do you argue that one?
> "Don't worry honey, I won't let it get to big." Oh, and finally: "He never made me cum!" No? Well he sure tried for a year. Yeah, I don't think size has anything to do with it in the long run. Pluses and minuses all the way around.


This might be in the TMI area, but you shouldn't ask or request anal sex, it's something you build up to... It happens in the heat of passion, shouldn't be 'forced' so to speak, and also not often... It starts with moist fingers, I'll leave it at that... Because your WS told you about it... One word... KY
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## theroad

ThePheonix said:


> I take some exception to "The OM screwed your wife". My observation is "your wife wanted and allowed the OM to screw her".
> 
> My other observation is that if more guys ventured to polish their technique rather than mesmerize over "size" the women folk would be happier for it.


I take a lot of exception to the old: is the cup half full or half empty ploy.

Either way the cup still only has four ounces in it.


----------



## russell28

theroad said:


> Only one.


The original line is from the movie Hair, when they ask the hippie if he's gay, , sub mick jagger for brad cooper.. It's a jk
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## theroad

weightlifter said:


> Sam let me reverse the question to you. For this exercize assume both women see your physical attractiveness the same. Lets pretend you divorce. You are dating two women:
> 
> Debbie doubledees is a solid 7 on the looks scale. 110 pounds at 5 foot 6. 36dd and perky. Personality is ok. The sex is ok. She rather likes you enough to consider her for exclusivity. Nothing great but ok.
> 
> Britney Beecup is a 5. Face is decent. Nothing to write home about. Boobs are 35 and really kind of a small b cup. She has say 10 pounds in her ass she just cant seem to get rid of but nothing too bad. She is really really into you. You kiss and sometimes shell slip a bittle tongue your way just to keep you on you toes. The sex is rocking and she gets so wet you have to change the sheets afterward. She orgasms so hard you can feel her pvssy pulse as she gasps and involuntarily clenches her fingers on your back.
> 
> Pick one:
> 
> Did you pick the girl with the below average boobs? How long did it take you to make the decision? What makes you think given the same level of perceived physical attractiveness, most women dont choose at least somewhat like you?


Pick neither one. Why marry Debbie when the connection is not there.

Because the sex is great does not make Britney the one to marry. Settling on her so/so looks because you can not hold onto her in bed. The minutes in bed does not make up for the hours you have to see her and do not find her attractive.


----------



## theroad

MattMatt said:


> So maybe I was right to not want any details for fear of what I might have found out.


You were not right.

You were not wrong.

Each BH needs to know what he needs to know. For some BH they just need to know the affair is over, NC for life, and their WW is not going to leave them.

For other BH every last detail to the thread count of the napkins and table cloths in the restaurant and on the sheets in the hotel bed. And where the pillows goose down.

You are right knowing does hurt. Though fades with time.

Trickle truthing and never knowing the answers to his questions will leave the BH for the rest of his life haunted by not knowing. 30+ years and the unanswered questions will have the BH still hurting.


----------



## theroad

somethingelse said:


> To answer the OP and his question..All I can say is to accept yourself and what you have been given. Love your body no matter what, because at the end of the day, you're always going to be you.
> 
> I've asked the same question about myself. Are my breasts too small? Is my husband attracted to me? He has in fact cheated on me plenty before with women that have bigger or even massive breasts. But he also claims he loves mine and that mine are much better because I can really get close to him when we're hopping on the good foot to do the bad thing.
> 
> Try to see your own traits as positive. And recognize all the other good things about yourself. Other parts of your body, your personality, etc. Don't listen when people try to define what is desirable. It's just a bunch of bull.



Size of a rack has nothing to do with the rack or the woman being pretty.


----------



## theroad

Horizon said:


> They can never remember....


More trickle truth.


----------



## mineforever

theroad said:


> More trickle truth with psycho babble thrown in for good measure. OP's WW does not need help doing damage control.


Sorry I was just giving my perspective. I am BS and I have never cheated on my husband so granted I don't know how a WS would actually feel but I am a women so I was giving my perspective as a women. Sorry I will bow out of the thread.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## weightlifter

broadbrushing what a betrayed needs is only half likely to be correct.

Some men need every detail, it quiets the mind movies of them imagining circus sex. The details are bad but not nearly as bad as what their filthy imaginations come up with.

Some men need nothing.

There is NO correct answer.

Now I would advise him to tell his wife to get another job THEN expose. That makes it win win. She still makes dollars, he gets to fvck over the dork running electronics. Then again, he will just walk over to best buy. Too bad there aren't companies like the one in the movie "Dirty Work" (effin hilarious movie btw. Mostly guy humor tho)

Its never as easy as its made out to be. Nonetheless the above is my advice.


----------



## theroad

mineforever said:


> Sorry I was just giving my perspective. I am BS and I have never cheated on my husband so granted I don't know how a WS would actually feel but I am a women so I was giving my perspective as a women. Sorry I will bow out of the thread.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Because we do not agree does not mean you offend. Do not bow out.


----------



## 2ntnuf

HansD said:


> We don't have to look far for the biggest **** in this thread do we 2ntnuf?


I don't know for sure. Seemed okay for a while, then came these quotes. 





2ntnuf said:


> samdew,
> 
> Take, copy and paste, save print out or whatever, what you need from this thread and get out of it now. Your questions were about sex and I think you need to quit questioning other things. Work on one thing at a time. Answering the questions and thoughts you have, on your own, for your personal improvement, will help.
> *
> Delete this thread* as soon as you have done that. it will only trigger you further and set you back. One thing at a time, man. One thing at a time. Stop all the insanity you are going to receive here. Screw the AP. He's trash for screwing a married woman, period. Anything else, is justification.





2ntnuf said:


> If you highlight the area that looks like I deleted, you will see the whole quote. I liked this up until that point. You can control who you are with. You can decide for yourself if they are satisfactory, just as they do with men. That is not wrong in any way. It's personal choice. Forget the rest and make your own decisions for you.
> 
> I thought the joke was very funny, but I know it doesn't work in a successful, long-term marriage. You each have to be satisfied. *Delete the thread samdew*.





samdew9 said:


> *Thank you all for the comments so far. And yes, my thread may have been derailed. But they've got me laughing and that is a good thing*.



Those came from page six. I sort of took that as a sign that he was fine with it, and that he was enjoying all the banter. Would you?


----------



## russell28

theroad said:


> Size of a rack has nothing to do with the rack or the woman being pretty.


Wife and I were watching some bad Skinamax pron last night in bed, and the first move.. two 'ladies' with humongous melons, I mean so ugly, warped, distorted, scared.. I had a good laugh, and switched to another on-demand soft corno... Three nice bodies, all natural, good shapes.. about a third to a fifth of the size of the circus freak show girls. We watched that (fast forward to sex scenes, never seem to find out how they end... you know the drill.. I wonder if the 'actors' think anyone watches the non sex scenes...)


----------



## Pepper123

I married a 9" penis and dated a 7 ish"... i hated the 9er. I'm pretty petite... The 7 ish was perfect, and he really knew how to use it.


----------



## workindad

distraughtfromtexas said:


> To be blunt, I have an ex boyfriend who was huge (like porn star huge), and I hated sex with him. It DID hurt, and it wasn't really fun for me. I understand your feelings, because my H compared OW's body to mine and told me how it was better (she's plastic btw), BUT in your case, if you are average size and you know how to use it, you have NOTHING to worry about!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Your husband is a jerk. Have you told him that your ex-boyfriend's johnson was bigger than his?


----------



## HarryDoyle

russell28 said:


> This might be in the TMI area, but you shouldn't ask or request anal sex, it's something you build up to... It happens in the heat of passion, shouldn't be 'forced' so to speak, and also not often... It starts with moist fingers, I'll leave it at that... Because your WS told you about it... One word... KY
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sorry but you entirely missed the point here. We've been married for 36 years so I really wasn't asking for sexual advice here, that's not the issue. I think the subject was penis size and the OM. My point was that it doesn't matter what size the OM is, bigger or smaller it doesn't help to compare, it's just the nature of the beast. My WW was trying to make me feel better about what she did by saying She could do it was because "he was so small" (implying that I was bigger, a backhanded compliment if there ever was one), much like another WW might try and make it seem better by saying "it was so big it hurt." It doesn't work, it just makes things worse. They do things because they want to do them and penis size (usually) has nothing to do with it.


----------



## Chris989

HarryDoyle said:


> I'm sorry but you entirely missed the point here. We've been married for 36 years so I really wasn't asking for sexual advice here, that's not the issue. I think the subject was penis size and the OM. My point was that it doesn't matter what size the OM is, bigger or smaller it doesn't help to compare, it's just the nature of the beast. My WW was trying to make me feel better about what she did by saying She could do it was because "he was so small" (implying that I was bigger, a backhanded compliment if there ever was one), much like another WW might try and make it seem better by saying "it was so big it hurt." It doesn't work, it just makes things worse. They do things because they want to do them and penis size (usually) has nothing to do with it.


My WS managed to admit she had done anal with her POSOM - we've done it some times, but for all sorts of reasons I thought she would not have done this with another man (ha!).

For some bizarre fd up reason, she was keen to make it clear that, despite him being bigger than me, it "seemed to go in much easier".

Now, I know some of that is because she did it in a position we haven't done it in before, but why on Earth she told me when I didn't ask I will never know.

Oh, hang on, I do know! It's because she's a cruel, mixed up, narcissistic slapper and the sooner she is out of my life - the better


----------



## adriana

samdew9 said:


> You should meet me before you call me spineless. It has taken every ounce of strength that I have to stay away from him. The facts are that if he were to retaliate both my wife and I would lose our jobs. Of course he would as well, but he doesn't have 5 kids to put food on the table for. I don't confront him because I am sure that I would get physical with him. I wrote my reaction to a time when I thought that I saw him. I have conduct standards in my contract with my church. Beating some worthless little puke to a pulp or having the fact that my wife cheated violates that and would mean my termination. The big box store my wife and her former AP have a policy against work affairs and so they would both be terminated as well. With jobs hard to find and the fact that we live in the churches house, jeopardizing those things isn't the smartest plan of action.



Samdew9, I agree with you that well-being of your family is very important issue but you are really reconciling with your wife or you two are just settling for one another to preserve your financial and domestic status-quo? 

I have read most of your posts in your original thread and, as a woman, I found the level of passiveness, you displayed during her affair, rather repulsive. Mature, emotionally stable women usually don't cheat on men they respect. But your wife, a mother of five, had no problem giving herself the green light to have an affair when the opportunity presented itself. Don't you think it's a good indicator of how she sees you as a man?

You call her OM a worthless little puke, and your are probably right about it, but he is still the man your wife decided to cheat with on you. I was going to say that she was willing to risk losing her marriage for him but was she really? Deep down she probably knew that you would take her back even if she got caught. 

Of course, a phantasy to screw a pastor's wife is one thing and riding into the sunset with a mother of five is another, so when her trailer park lover-boy lost his interest in her, she decided to reconcile with you. I can imagine that now she feels ashamed of what she has done and she wants to put everything behind her. But I doubt that on primal, sexual level she respects you much as a man. Why would she? After all, you don't do it yourself.


----------



## adriana

nuclearnightmare said:


> "Standing up for himself" does not mean beating up the other man, it means divorcing his wife. But given that we disagree on that - I d agree with you that he should stand up for himself.
> 
> As for the respect issue, that's also important. Given that his wife is a *****, I have no idea how he he'll ever respect her again....



Nowhere in my post I implied that the OP should beat up the OM. I am a peaceful person by nature and find any acts of violence completely revolting and primitive. But if I were a man and some dude screwed my wife behind my back, I could see myself making his life completely miserable. I guess turning another cheek isn't my thing.

As for the OP regaining respect for his wife, I don't think that she really cares much about it. But I may be wrong.


----------



## Chris989

adriana said:


> Samdew9, I agree with you that well-being of your family is very important issue but you are really reconciling with your wife or you two are just settling for one another to preserve your financial and domestic status-quo?
> 
> I have read most of your posts in your original thread and, as a woman, I found the level of passiveness, you displayed during her affair, rather repulsive. Mature, emotionally stable women usually don't cheat on men they respect. But your wife, a mother of five, had no problem giving herself the green light to have an affair when the opportunity presented itself. Don't you think it's a good indicator of how she sees you as a man?
> 
> You call her OM a worthless little puke, and your are probably right about it, but he is still the man your wife decided to cheat with on you. I was going to say that she was willing to risk losing her marriage for him but was she really? Deep down she probably knew that you would take her back even if she got caught.
> 
> Of course, a phantasy to screw a pastor's wife is one thing and riding into the sunset with a mother of five is another, so when her trailer park lover-boy lost his interest in her, she decided to reconcile with you. I can imagine that now she feels ashamed of what she has done and she wants to put everything behind her. But I doubt that on primal, sexual level she respects you much as a man. Why would she? After all, you don't do it yourself.


You don't know this man. You know nothing about him.

You don't know his wife. Just because you happen to have a chromosome in common with her means nothing.

This forum is for help, not judgement.


----------



## davecarter

weightlifter said:


> broadbrushing what a betrayed needs is only half likely to be correct.
> 
> Some men need every detail, it quiets the mind movies of them imagining circus sex. The details are bad but not nearly as bad as what their filthy imaginations come up with.
> 
> Some men need nothing.
> 
> There is NO correct answer.
> 
> Now I would advise him to tell his wife to get another job THEN expose. That makes it win win. She still makes dollars, he gets to fvck over the dork running electronics. Then again, he will just walk over to best buy. Too bad there aren't companies like the one in the movie "Dirty Work" (effin hilarious movie btw. Mostly guy humor tho)
> 
> Its never as easy as its made out to be. Nonetheless the above is my advice.


I got NO details.
In my wife's opinion, as we were separated at the time, what she and her boyfriend did was their business.
(regardless of the fact she started 'seeing' him 5 days after we officially separated )

I hold my hand up and admit, I did snoop into her iPhone...but she caught me and said: _"Sure, go through and have a look - but you won;t like you find on there"_
I decided not to.

Furthermore to the 'size' issue, the only details I got were, Yes, he did live up to his reputation and nickname from his buddies he got due to him a) being white but b) being 'hung like a black man'....and Yes, it was good to meet someone who _"actually wants to f*cuk me once in a while"._

Given my admission that I did indeed, drop-the-ball in our marriage, you can't argue with that logic really.


----------



## adriana

Healer said:


> Wow, harsh.
> 
> And you're gorgeous, btw.



Yes, it was. But like Beckett said in Waiting for Godot.... _That's how it is on this ***** of earth._

And thank you for your nice compliment.


----------



## illwill

I feel like im not old enough to read this thread.


----------



## ConanHub

Chris989 said:


> You don't know this man. You know nothing about him.
> 
> You don't know his wife. Just because you happen to have a chromosome in common with her means nothing.
> 
> This forum is for help, not judgement.


I appreciate her input and I think there might be something to her insight.
I also appreciate the varying points of view. I think she is trying to help OP. Just doesn't have the same perspectives as others.
BTW, I appreciate yours quite a bit as well.


----------



## adriana

Chris989 said:


> You don't know this man. You know nothing about him.
> 
> You don't know his wife. Just because you happen to have a chromosome in common with her means nothing.
> 
> This forum is for help, not judgement.



Chris989, I don't think I was really trying to judge him. If I did it wasn't my intention. But have you read his original thread? I was shaking my head in amazed disbelieve when I was doing it. 

You are right that I don't know him or his wife. And neither do you so you cannot really tell that I am wrong in my assessment of his situation. But, unlikely you, I can tell a thing or two about being a woman and how we think.

You are also right that he needs help and I hope my posts will help him to open his eyes and face the reality. So far, consciously or not, he has been deluding himself about his reconciliation with his wife. At least in my opinion.


----------



## davecarter

adriana said:


> Chris989, I don't think I was really trying to judge him. If I did it wasn't my intention. But have you read his original thread? I was shaking my head in amazed disbelieve when I was doing it.
> 
> You are right that I don't know him or his wife. And neither do you so you cannot really tell that I am wrong in my assessment of his situation. _But, unlikely you, I can tell a thing or two about being a woman and how we think_.
> 
> You are also right that he needs help and I hope my posts will help him to open his eyes and face the reality. So far, consciously or not, he has been deluding himself about his reconciliation with his wife. At least in my opinion.


Fair point, really.


----------



## manticore

Chris989 said:


> You don't know this man. You know nothing about him.
> 
> You don't know his wife. Just because you happen to have a chromosome in common with her means nothing.
> 
> This forum is for help, not judgement.


Chris I normally agree with your opinions but in this one I kind of agree with Adriana, more than anything in the respect thing, I have also read all samdew9 posts and it seems that his wife is taking him for granted and at some leve she does not respect him, this can also be related of how things were handled prior and post DD.

he told his wife literally before even confirming that an affair happened that he would forgive her for anything, so of course this is almost a green light to keep wronging him:



samdew9 said:


> I hate divorce with a passion. I love her more than I ever have. I even told her that I would forgive her for anything, even an affair.


of course this would make her lost what we call respecting him by not miss behaving with other men (and I don't mean necesarely sexual things). 

also, it was stated that after OM have one sexual encounter and few sessions of oral he went cold with her, but she keep persuing OM even when they began R.

finally when OM throw her under the buss, and she now supposed had realized what an *ss he was she keep being friendly with OM and and giving public displays of affection even when she was already incresing the amount of sex to "samdew", even Sam wrote that he was being played with fake affection (just as Adriana was remarking).



samdew9 said:


> at the same time, my wife has been extremely physical with me and more affectionate than she's been in years. We went from once a week maybe to 3-5 times per week. ... my gut is just SCREAMING bologna. Things just don't seem right. Like her and the OM are all of the sudden doing things on the internet in public when before it was always hidden. She's still posting and liking his posts on FB. But yet she has been badmouthing him lately. *I feel like a jerk to be filing because I swore to be by her side until death do us part*. But if she is playing me and giving me fake affection, I don't know how I will take that.


so even he was aware of the lack of respect from his wife.

I respect Sam, he was never deluded and he knew something was wrong, he seeked the truth wihtout letting himself being fooled, he is trying to save his family and marriage, but I still, that things would have turned different if he had made him face consequences as he pretended in the beginning.



samdew9 said:


> So I thought about making an anonymous email to the large dept stores home office and try to get him fired.


and maybe still can.


----------



## Chris989

adriana said:


> Chris989, I don't think I was really trying to judge him. If I did it wasn't my intention. But have you read his original thread? I was shaking my head in amazed disbelieve when I was doing it.
> 
> 
> 
> You are right that I don't know him or his wife. And neither do you so you cannot really tell that I am wrong in my assessment of his situation. But, unlikely you, I can tell a thing or two about being a woman and how we think.
> 
> 
> 
> You are also right that he needs help and I hope my posts will help him to open his eyes and face the reality. So far, consciously or not, he has been deluding himself about his reconciliation with his wife. At least in my opinion.



In my experience, women do not have a hive mind.

I don't judge the op. You do.

I understand you are trying to help. I know what it's like being on the receiving end of some 'advice' here and it sometimes can dig a bigger hole. I can't respond any further as I don't want a ban for threadjacking.

Edit/ I probably need to calm down a bit. Please ignore my rants


----------



## illwill

Chris989 said:


> You don't know this man. You know nothing about him.
> 
> You don't know his wife. Just because you happen to have a chromosome in common with her means nothing.
> 
> This forum is for help, not judgement.


She is dead right. We know enough to make a judgement and thats what we all do. Even you. Her job aint to simply tell him what he wants to to hear. Her comments were spot on.

Ill say it again he needs to man up a bit. One man (or woman) should be able to say that to the other.


----------



## larry.gray

weightlifter said:


> broadbrushing what a betrayed needs is only half likely to be correct.
> 
> Some men need every detail, it quiets the mind movies of them imagining circus sex. The details are bad but not nearly as bad as what their filthy imaginations come up with.
> 
> Some men need nothing.


For some men it's WAY worse than they imagined. This one treads towards that.


----------



## samdew9

I told her that I would forgive her for anything because I already knew what she was doing. I just couldn't prove it. I wanted her to confess it to me. But she knows in no uncertain terms that it will not be tolerated EVER again. In fact I told her that she has lost the right to have male friends forever. She also knows that if it ever happens again that I will be gone and WILL expose it to everyone. 

She made a grave mistake and was very messed up in her head when this all happened. She has done everything I have asked of her...with the exception of some details that I probably don't need to know anyways. She is a different person and is very committed to me and our family.

She has given me access to all passwords and doesn't have her phone fused to her hip anymore. In fact it is a lot of times in a different room than she is in. I also know her whereabouts at all times as well. 

We live in a very small community where everyone knows everyone. The benefits of leaving him alone far outweigh getting revenge and exposing him. Although it makes me sick to see him on facebook friending other attached women and most likely playing them like he played my wife. I want to let those women's significant others know about him. But he would know that it was me that told them due to the fact that I called another one of his AP's ex husband. The damage he could do to our family combined with the hate I have in me for him made the decision to leave him alone. 

Yes, I could expose him. Get him fired and possibly kicked out of the army reserves. But he is a coward who thinks that he is entitled to screw any woman that he wants (his reaction to me calling that woman's ex proved that) and he would retaliate. My hatred for him combined with him retaliating would lead to bad things involving a hospital or worse for him and jail for me. I don't need or want to go down that road. And me being a pastor means that I need to turn the other cheek to him no matter what I feel or want inside. 

That is called strength, not spineless. I takes more strength to walk away. But at the same time, he is just going to keep doing it to other families. But for now, I choose to take care of business on my home front and watch over it like a hawk. To take everything I have learned through this and make my marriage the best that it possibly can be and make DARN sure that nothing like that happens ever again.

And if it does, all bet are off.


----------



## Chris989

illwill said:


> She is dead right. We know enough to make a judgement and thats what we all do. Even you. Her job aint to simply tell him what he wants to to hear. Her comments were spot on.
> 
> 
> 
> Ill say it again he needs to man up a bit. One man (or woman) should be able to say that to the other.



Fair enough. I was wrong. Move along. Nothing to see here.


----------



## manticore

samdew9 said:


> We live in a very small community where everyone knows everyone. The benefits of leaving him alone far outweigh getting revenge and exposing him. Although it makes me sick to see him on facebook friending other attached women and most likely playing them like he played my wife. I want to let those women's significant others know about him. But he would know that it was me that told them due to the fact that I called another one of his AP's ex husband. The damage he could do to our family combined with the hate I have in me for him made the decision to leave him alone.


sorry man but you are losing me here, you know he is befriending married women to do the same he did to your wife and you are letting it happen?, I am going to sound harhs but, aren't you a pastor and isn't your moral obligation to warn this men about this predator.

how would you feel is some of this men seek your advice and solace as pastor because OM bedded their women when you could have stopped it from happening?

how you think GOD will see that?, I am not that religious (but I am catholic) I never involve GOD in a discussion in TAM, but this is a exception for your background and profession, I know damn well that Jesus criticized the inaction of people when actions of injustice or missbehaviour where happening in front of them.

and I am not talking now about revenge or exposure, I am talking of stopping this man from ruining marriages validated by GOD.


----------



## manticore

I am not telling you to go and make an scene with every husband, but at least send anonymous mails and letters to the possible vicitinms of future victims of this OMm in that way you at least are warning these women's husbands to take actions on their own.


----------



## illwill

samdew9 said:


> I told her that I would forgive her for anything because I already knew what she was doing. I just couldn't prove it. I wanted her to confess it to me. But she knows in no uncertain terms that it will not be tolerated EVER again. In fact I told her that she has lost the right to have male friends forever. She also knows that if it ever happens again that I will be gone and WILL expose it to everyone.
> 
> She made a grave mistake and was very messed up in her head when this all happened. She has done everything I have asked of her...with the exception of some details that I probably don't need to know anyways. She is a different person and is very committed to me and our family.
> 
> And if it does, all bets are off.
> 
> She has given me access to all passwords and doesn't have her phone fused to her hip anymore. In fact it is a lot of times in a different room than she is in. I also know her whereabouts at all times as well.
> 
> We live in a very small community where everyone knows everyone. The benefits of leaving him alone far outweigh getting revenge and exposing him. Although it makes me sick to see him on facebook friending other attached women and most likely playing them like he played my wife. I want to let those women's significant others know about him. But he would know that it was me that told them due to the fact that I called another one of his AP's ex husband. The damage he could do to our family combined with the hate I have in me for him made the decision to leave him alone.
> 
> Yes, I could expose him. Get him fired and possibly kicked out of the army reserves. But he is a coward who thinks that he is entitled to screw any woman that he wants (his reaction to me calling that woman's ex proved that) and he would retaliate. My hatred for him combined with him retaliating would lead to bad things involving a hospital or worse for him and jail for me. I don't need or want to go down that road. And me being a pastor means that I need to turn the other cheek to him no matter what I feel or want inside.
> 
> That is called strength, not spineless. I takes more strength to walk away. But at the same time, he is just going to keep doing it to other families. But for now, I choose to take care of business on my home front and watch over it like a hawk. To take everything I have learned through this and make my marriage the best that it possibly can be and make DARN sure that nothing like that happens ever again.


I could not do it. But i respect that you can.


----------



## samdew9

manticore said:


> sorry man but you are losing me here, you know he is befriending married women to do the same he did to your wife and you are letting it happen?, I am going to sound harhs but, aren't you a pastor and isn't your moral obligation to warn this men about this predator.
> 
> how would you feel is some of this men seek your advice and solace as pastor because OM bedded their women when you could have stopped it from happening?
> 
> how you think GOD will see that?, I am not that religious (but I am catholic) I never involve GOD in a discussion in TAM, but this is a exception for your background and profession, I know damn well that Jesus criticized the inaction of people when actions of injustice or missbehaviour where happening in front of them.
> 
> and I am not talking now about revenge or exposure, I am talking of stopping this man from ruining marriages validated by GOD.


No, you're correct. I struggle with this daily. I need to at the very least tell the significant others of the women I suspect he has in his sights.


----------



## ConanHub

manticore said:


> sorry man but you are losing me here, you know he is befriending married women to do the same he did to your wife and you are letting it happen?, I am going to sound harhs but, aren't you a pastor and isn't your moral obligation to warn this men about this predator.
> 
> how would you feel is some of this men seek your advice and solace as pastor because OM bedded their women when you could have stopped it from happening?
> 
> how you think GOD will see that?, I am not that religious (but I am catholic) I never involve GOD in a discussion in TAM, but this is a exception for your background and profession, I know damn well that Jesus criticized the inaction of people when actions of injustice or missbehaviour where happening in front of them.
> 
> and I am not talking now about revenge or exposure, I am talking of stopping this man from ruining marriages validated by GOD.


THIS!!!!:iagree:


----------



## kristin2349

manticore said:


> sorry man but you are losing me here, you know he is befriending married women to do the same he did to your wife and you are letting it happen?, I am going to sound harhs but, aren't you a pastor and isn't your moral obligation to warn this men about this predator.
> 
> how would you feel is some of this men seek your advice and solace as pastor because OM bedded their women when you could have stopped it from happening?
> 
> how you think GOD will see that?, I am not that religious (but I am catholic) I never involve GOD in a discussion in TAM, but this is a exception for your background and profession, I know damn well that Jesus criticized the inaction of people when actions of injustice or missbehaviour where happening in front of them.
> 
> and I am not talking now about revenge or exposure, I am talking of stopping this man from ruining marriages validated by GOD.



If OP is going to bring God into this. It should be as simple as you are as God made you and were made in his image.

Good luck.


----------



## DavidWYoung

And you can change this HOW? Just be happy that you have both arms and legs and that you are not blind. Things could be a lot worse!


----------



## manticore

DavidWYoung said:


> And you can change this HOW? Just be happy that you have both arms and legs and that you are not blind. Things could be a lot worse!


I don't get this comment


----------



## ntamph

Holy ****! One day up and 15 pages! This is a sensitive issue.............


----------



## Thor

Personal opinion follows:

I do not understand a church which would punish a person for someone else's actions. In this case, the church would fire a pastor whose wife cheated?

I would have to seriously reconsider my loyalty to an organization which would do that.

As far as firing a pastor for divorce, that is also a head scratcher for me. The Bible, it is argued, only provides for divorce in case of sexual infidelity. I am far from a scholar on the issue, but what I have seen is that some believe the Bible provides for divorce in other situations, but the final most restrictive allowable case for divorce is sexual infidelity.

So again it seems most harsh that a church would fire a pastor for divorcing his proven cheating wife.

I'll take OP at his word that this is indeed the case in his church. I hope you are working off of hard facts when you say these things, because you are choosing the most difficult path, and the path of least likely success for your family, by cheek-turning.

The origin of the word "Confront" means to "Face Towards". To confront something is to face it and thus deal with it. Turning your other cheek is the opposite of confronting the problem.

I've read an interesting historical analysis of the term "Turn the other cheek", which indicates it may have had a different meaning in Biblical times than not enforcing boundaries or imposing consequences. Though I am, as I said, far from any kind of expert on the topic.

Samdew, I hope you don't put your needs and your desires last behind everybody else's. Your needs are as valid as anyone's.


----------



## illwill

Martyr complex?


----------



## ThePheonix

manticore said:


> Chris I normally agree with your opinions but in this one I kind of agree with Adriana, more than anything in the respect thing, I have also read all samdew9 posts and it seems that his wife is taking him for granted and at some leve she does not respect him, this can also be related of how things were handled prior and post DD.
> 
> he told his wife literally before even confirming that an affair happened that he would forgive her for anything, so of course this is almost a green light to keep wronging him:


It goes without saying on the respect issue. Most often, when a woman cheats, she has little romantic interest and matching little respect for her old man. Hence, the impetus behind this gal cheating. Samdew's does seem to willing to roll over and play dead whether he means to not. I suspect his old lady feels the same.
Not to make a big thing out of it, but if Samdew's wife was influenced to jump this guys bones because she saw a picture of his peter, he's got bigger problems with her than lack of respect.


----------



## Thorburn

samdew9 said:


> You all can look in my profile if you want to read my whole story. But my wife and I have reconciled and things are better than they have ever been. She has done everything that I have asked (most of it from advice from you all...thank you) But I have still been dealing with the "movies" and a lot of insecurity. Especially when it comes to my manhood. I am someone that needs the details for closure but she has not wanted to give me those details. She would always say that it doesn't matter. That I am the only one that has ever satisfied her sexually and that her one time with the other puke was awful.
> 
> But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine. She told me that was why it was awful, that it hurt a lot when he put it inside of her and that (and the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed. But now I am still very insecure about it and have that feeling of "if it was only a little bit bigger" I know that my wife is satisfied when we have sex because I can feel it. But I fall out every so often and think about how small mine is. I also can't seem to shake the thought of him shoving his giant dong into her. Mine was the only one that she ever saw until his.
> 
> Mine is the average size...I googled it, but it just makes me feel inadequate. I don't know how to overcome this. Did any of you guys ever feel like this??? Any of you girls that can shed some light on this to make me feel better??? Or do I have a legitimate concern that I can't change.


I pushed my wife. Having the recording my wife's moans did not sound right, and I thought she was having anal. Same thing, my wife finally said, "I don't want to hurt you but he was huge".

I am a little about average but WTH? I have been thinking about it from time to time. Just keep working on getting over it.


----------



## illwill

Dont ask questions unless you are ready for the answers, guys. Ignorance IS bliss sometimes.


----------



## ThePheonix

Thorburn said:


> my wife finally said, "I don't want to hurt you but he was huge".


When a woman sez, "I don't want to hurt you", it means they want to hurt you. Make no mistake about it Dawg.


----------



## mel123

samdew9 said:


> (the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed. .


a 10" soft one is useless. I would think a woman would rather have a 5-6 " that is rock hard and stays that way start to finished 

:smthumbup:


----------



## bartendersfriend

I agree with others... I know I am above average and yet I have a wife that cheated (although from emails I have determined it was only oral). I also read emails and know the OM suffered from serious premature "finishing". He wrote about his concerns about the act being over quickly. My wife didn't seem to care and provided support. I guess it depends on if your WS was driven by physical or emotional lust. I seriously doubt the OM is better in the sack than me, but he was wooing my wife with words and I wasn't. I can't imagine size being the motivating factor for the vast majority of women.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

bartendersfriend said:


> I agree with others... *I know I am above average* and yet I have a wife that cheated (although from emails I have determined it was only oral). I also read emails and know the OM suffered from serious premature "finishing". He wrote about his concerns about the act being over quickly. My wife didn't seem to care and provided support. I guess it depends on if your WS was driven by physical or emotional lust. I seriously doubt the OM is better in the sack than me, but he was wooing my wife with words and I wasn't. I can't imagine size being the motivating factor for the vast majority of women.


LOL! I'm sorry, but even in a thread meant to help the OP cope with processing details of the affair, it really degenerates into another penis size thread. I guess I'm no better since I responded purely from an informational POV about average sizes and measurement techniques. But...c'mon here. Practically every freaking guy that posted in this thread has to proclaim that they are above average in size?!?! Bullsh!t. Either the majority of you suck at measuring yourselves, are just getting estimates via eyeballing your junk or simply have to LIE about your own size. 

Not trying to single you out BF, but it's quite hard to read this thread without feeling you're in a Lake Woebegone where everyone is above average...

Sorry for the thread jack OP. Your issue isn't the size of your penis. It has everything to do with your own lack of confidence in yourself and your lack of self respect. You let your wife walk all over you which ultimately ended in disaster for you. It wasn't your fault she decided to cheat on you. But she DID go after someone who was exuding more self confidence. Too bad her OM measured his self confidence based on the size of his crank. Ultimately doing that is analogous to finding confidence via a placebo since it appears your wife's OM doesn't really have true self confidence either - just something he manufactured by what he has between his legs. You're better than that. You shouldn't have to derive your confidence and self respect from what you were given, you claim these from what you make of yourself.


----------



## larry.gray

There also can be some selection bias here. If a guy indeed is on the smaller size, he's not going to chime in, is he?


----------



## ing

Oh for goodness sake! There is a range of penis sizes and different women prefer different sizes based on their physical makeup. Some couples are more physically compatible but generally men and women are designed to fit together with various levels of comfort and enjoyment.
See this chart. It is not the holy grail but shows a normal spread for preference. 










Notice is ends at 10" This is because this is freaky huge and despite this preference graph it s not normal.


A huge verified ( don't ask) Internet survey has been conducted and the average size based on Internet respondents with show off bias correction has the common or garden willy at somewhat under 6" long and a circumference is just under 5".

Don't sweat it. Really. She had a big one. She liked it. You have to decide if you can get over the affair, not the size of his willy!


----------



## TopsyTurvy5

I'd be gone, there is no way I could erase those mind movies, and I say this being above average in size. I wish you luck.


----------



## dogman

The stupidest thing a woman can do is say "it wasn't enjoyable because it was too big"
She should have lied if she wanted to reconcile. Instead she tried to include some truth in the lie. After all that's how to lie best, include some truth.

There is NO WAY to ever feel better about this. It has nothing to do with whether she honestly enjoyed it or not. It's all about the image of....well...the mind movie.

OP, if you want to try to feel better, get her to do a polygraph and ask her if she liked his large one. If she had an orgasm. If she still thinks about it. Then you can try to put this self destructive crap away for good.


----------



## ThePheonix

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Practically every freaking guy that posted in this thread has to proclaim that they are above average in size?!?!


Come on P9, you've heard of internet inches. You'd think every guy out there now has 8 inches, with a 2 1/2 inch diameter. Most have 9, so a small one is 6. Ron Jeremy,btw, is purportedly a shade over 9 so that makes him slightly above average. As for me, at my age its done drew up pass my knee.


----------



## ConanHub

Thorburn said:


> I pushed my wife. Having the recording my wife's moans did not sound right, and I thought she was having anal. Same thing, my wife finally said, "I don't want to hurt you but he was huge".
> 
> I am a little about average but WTH? I have been thinking about it from time to time. Just keep working on getting over it.


Your wife is the one who should be hurtin for acting like a lower animal. She would be hurtin if you made her listen to herself with her AP.

BTW. Comparisons are a two way street. In my confused youth, I had quite a few partners. Women have a lot of differences in their genitals the same as men.

I have had previous partners of many shapes and sizes and abilities and reactions. Several of them were hotter, in better shape, juicier, etc than my wife when I first met her.

In 22 years however..... she has become, hands down, the best lover I have ever had!
We chose each other and have worked and poured our passion into each other. We have achieved heights in ecstasy that neither of us has ever reached before. She almost always breaks out in goose bumps just from me being inside her, but when we started it was clumsy and sometimes uncomfortable.

Your wife could have achieved the "moaning " level with you if she would have focused her passion where it belonged.
I am not pornstar big but I am an attentive, confident, lover. The majority of my partners had their minds blown and it wasn't because I was using a big" stick".

The biggest and best sex organ is the mind for both genders. 
If your wife didn't train her mind to find sexual excitement outside of you this wouldn't have happened in the first place and she would have learned how to get to moaning with you.

You may already know all this, sorry for the rant, but the ignorance of infidelity (how damn unnecessary it is for sexual gratification) really pisses me off.

Hope your doing well.


----------



## ConanHub

Thor said:


> Personal opinion follows:
> 
> I do not understand a church which would punish a person for someone else's actions. In this case, the church would fire a pastor whose wife cheated?
> 
> I would have to seriously reconsider my loyalty to an organization which would do that.
> 
> As far as firing a pastor for divorce, that is also a head scratcher for me. The Bible, it is argued, only provides for divorce in case of sexual infidelity. I am far from a scholar on the issue, but what I have seen is that some believe the Bible provides for divorce in other situations, but the final most restrictive allowable case for divorce is sexual infidelity.
> 
> So again it seems most harsh that a church would fire a pastor for divorcing his proven cheating wife.
> 
> I'll take OP at his word that this is indeed the case in his church. I hope you are working off of hard facts when you say these things, because you are choosing the most difficult path, and the path of least likely success for your family, by cheek-turning.
> 
> The origin of the word "Confront" means to "Face Towards". To confront something is to face it and thus deal with it. Turning your other cheek is the opposite of confronting the problem.
> 
> I've read an interesting historical analysis of the term "Turn the other cheek", which indicates it may have had a different meaning in Biblical times than not enforcing boundaries or imposing consequences. Though I am, as I said, far from any kind of expert on the topic.
> 
> Samdew, I hope you don't put your needs and your desires last behind everybody else's. Your needs are as valid as anyone's.


I could be considered an expert and several of your points are spot on.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

ThePheonix said:


> Come on P9, you've heard of internet inches. You'd think every guy out there now has 8 inches, with a 2 1/2 inch diameter. Most have 9, so a small one is 6. Ron Jeremy,btw, is purportedly a shade over 9 so that makes him slightly above average. As for me, at my age its done drew up pass my knee.


I get it and find the irony/humor in it. I find it a little odd that considering this is CWI, you'd think there would be more honesty in this thread.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

dogman said:


> The stupidest thing a woman can do is say "it wasn't enjoyable because it was too big"
> *She should have lied* if she wanted to reconcile. Instead she tried to include some truth in the lie. After all that's how to lie best, include some truth.
> 
> There is NO WAY to ever feel better about this. It has nothing to do with whether she honestly enjoyed it or not. It's all about the image of....well...the mind movie.
> 
> OP, if you want to try to feel better, get her to do a polygraph and ask her if she liked his large one. If she had an orgasm. If she still thinks about it. Then you can try to put this self destructive crap away for good.


You're not the first person to state this in the thread. To advocate this is to be contradictory to everything a BS claims is critical to the healing process - the unvarnished truth. This would confirm to a WS that holding back on the truth is the right move to spare the feelings of the BS.


----------



## ConanHub

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I get it and find the irony/humor in it. I find it a little odd that considering this is CWI, you'd think there would be more honesty in this thread.


Maybe there are just a lot of guys who have had their confidence shattered and it boosts them up somehow? 

Or maybe this is the "largest" collection of male bloggers on earth? LOL!

I don't know. I won't give my measurements but I am not a pornstar and I have never had problems in the sexual arena.

Mrs. Conans first husband was pornstar big but he can't even approach me when it comes to pleasing her.

A tool is really just that.


----------



## 2ntnuf

> The biggest and best sex organ is the mind for both genders.


This is true, in general. It's too simplistic for me. While women need the mental to achieve orgasm, it's not just that. There is a combination of things which include the physical, emotional, and intellectual side of a man, which combine to make the best match. Let's not forget, ability to provide, as well. 



> If your wife didn't train her mind to find sexual excitement outside of you this wouldn't have happened in the first place and she would have learned how to get to moaning with you.


I don't agree that a woman has to train her mind to be sexually excited by other men. Her attraction is not a choice. Different women are attracted to different types of men. There may be a general type that all will be attracted to, but it's much more than just general. They each have a type within that general that they choose from for what they consider as best match. I don't think they are automatons. 



> You may already know all this, sorry for the rant, but the ignorance of infidelity (how damn unnecessary it is for sexual gratification) really pisses me off.


This last one confused me. Can you explain what you mean by, "the ignorance of infidelity"?


----------



## weightlifter

Thorburn said:


> I pushed my wife. Having the recording my wife's moans did not sound right, and I thought she was having anal. Same thing, my wife finally said, "I don't want to hurt you but he was huge".
> 
> I am a little about average but WTH? I have been thinking about it from time to time. Just keep working on getting over it.


Ugh. This is why i tell people NEVER NEVER never listen to the sex part of your own wifes VAR. This is why i have done it for others who dont have someone to do it for them. It will destroy you in ways you can not begin to imagine.


----------



## bartendersfriend

Plan 9 from OS said:


> LOL! I'm sorry, but even in a thread meant to help the OP cope with processing details of the affair, it really degenerates into another penis size thread.
> 
> Not trying to single you out BF, but it's quite hard to read this thread without feeling you're in a Lake Woebegone where everyone is above average...


Point taken. It is probably irrelevant to post. I was trying to point out (and I didn't read the whole thread, but a few others did as well) that it didn't help some of us keep our women faithful. I don't think those that posted are necessarily claiming p0rn star status, but if most men are in the 5-6 range then then anything above that is above "average". Anyway, the point being, I don't think women stay faithful due to size or cheat based on size. 

I posted the other issue to point out that you don't have to focus on physical aspects and make them your insecurities. People cheat for reasons that often have little to do with the BS.

I was trying to be helpful... sorry if my post seemed to detract from that message.


----------



## illwill

Do you think she believes you will really leave if she does this again? Because its been rugsweep a bit, so i assume she may feel even bolder now than before.

And are you going to really do a full 180 if it happens again, incuding maybe losing your job?

Besides her love for you, which is in doubt at best, whats her motivation?


----------



## 2ntnuf

I still don't get where folks think that size was the only factor or even why they cheated. It is more a revenge type thing used to hurt the husband in his most vulnerable area. Women know there is nothing that can be done about penis size. They also know that men have insecurities about their size. They know that men do not really understand from their point of view, if women are telling the truth when they say, "size doesn't matter". 

This will always be a factor for any man who reconciles. It's a hurdle to overcome. There will be those who do not care or believe differently. It doesn't mean one person is wrong and the rest are right. Those who it bothers less are the ones who know they can bring their spouse to orgasm. They are the ones who understand and can observe the signs of her arousal and orgasm. 

Yes, it is true, to some extent that size does not matter. To some extent. 

Don't you all get the point of that post? They use comments about the AP's size to hurt you, whether the AP was actually bigger or not. It doesn't matter. 

There is also another factor that is truth which everyone has glossed over. Human tissue only stretches so far before it tears. It will heal, but will never get back to the same size it was before it tears. The surface area covered by the stretched tissue can be reduced by removing excess, but the elasticity is gone. This is not meant to be demeaning or harmful. It's meant to get you to understand without emotional content. The trouble is, we all have emotions and have a tough time not being hurt be comments. 

We read into everything and then accept someone's comments as our own issues. That comes directly from insecurity. I have it. Many in this thread have it. I'm sorry that it is like that for everyone, including me.

Compromise, within our individual boundaries and limitations, is important to a happy marriage. It is important to all aspects of life. I think it's safe to say, no one here is perfectly happy with their marriage. They are happy enough to stay or unhappy enough to leave. If you are here, you are working on your marriage and that's why you are here, don't tell me you are perfectly happy. It's a lie. There is always room for improvement, in any marriage or relationship. We work on them to be more satisfied and happily married. 

Think about it, please, before you judge.


----------



## Thor

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Practically every freaking guy that posted in this thread has to proclaim that they are above average in size?!?! Bullsh!t. Either the majority of you suck at measuring yourselves, are just getting estimates via eyeballing your junk or simply have to LIE about your own size.


Oh I am sure I am above average. My wife told me so!

Years ago she went to a neighbors sex toy sale, Fvkkerware as it were. They had some life size models for the women as reference when buying gifts for their man. Small, average, and above average. She said the larger than average matched me. That was her story, anyhow.  

I'm guessing every husband in the neighborhood heard the same story that night.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

bartendersfriend said:


> Point taken. It is probably irrelevant to post. I was trying to point out (and I didn't read the whole thread, but a few others did as well) that it didn't help some of us keep our women faithful. I don't think those that posted are necessarily claiming p0rn star status, but if most men are in the 5-6 range then then anything above that is above "average". Anyway, the point being, I don't think women stay faithful due to size or cheat based on size.
> 
> I posted the other issue to point out that you don't have to focus on physical aspects and make them your insecurities. People cheat for reasons that often have little to do with the BS.
> 
> I was trying to be helpful... sorry if my post seemed to detract from that message.


I didn't mean to single you out, plus I recognize the value of what you posted for the OP. My only beef with this is you cannot hold a WS to task about trickle truthing and lying about the affair when you can clearly see BS's in this thread advocating that the WS lies about the OM's equipment and/or BS's stretching the truth about their own phalluses. You need consistency for it to work plus good communication. That's part of what makes a good marriage. 

Most don't care for my opinions in CWI anyways, so I'll bow out now.


----------



## Numbersixxx

Plan 9 from OS said:


> LOL! I'm sorry, but even in a thread meant to help the OP cope with processing details of the affair, it really degenerates into another penis size thread. I guess I'm no better since I responded purely from an informational POV about average sizes and measurement techniques. But...c'mon here. Practically every freaking guy that posted in this thread has to proclaim that they are above average in size?!?! Bullsh!t. Either the majority of you suck at measuring yourselves, are just getting estimates via eyeballing your junk or simply have to LIE about your own size.
> 
> Not trying to single you out BF, but it's quite hard to read this thread without feeling you're in a Lake Woebegone where everyone is above average...
> 
> Sorry for the thread jack OP. Your issue isn't the size of your penis. It has everything to do with your own lack of confidence in yourself and your lack of self respect. You let your wife walk all over you which ultimately ended in disaster for you. It wasn't your fault she decided to cheat on you. But she DID go after someone who was exuding more self confidence. Too bad her OM measured his self confidence based on the size of his crank. Ultimately doing that is analogous to finding confidence via a placebo since it appears your wife's OM doesn't really have true self confidence either - just something he manufactured by what he has between his legs. You're better than that. You shouldn't have to derive your confidence and self respect from what you were given, you claim these from what you make of yourself.


lol
I said before, "everyone is alpha on the internet". Obviously with a huge member and a six-pack stomach (bonus points for a six figure income).

This is worse than high school.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ConanHub

2ntnuf said:


> This is true, in general. It's too simplistic for me. While women need the mental to achieve orgasm, it's not just that. There is a combination of things which include the physical, emotional, and intellectual side of a man, which combine to make the best match. Let's not forget, ability to provide, as well.
> 
> 
> 
> I don't agree that a woman has to train her mind to be sexually excited by other men. Her attraction is not a choice. Different women are attracted to different types of men. There may be a general type that all will be attracted to, but it's much more than just general. They each have a type within that general that they choose from for what they consider as best match. I don't think they are automatons.
> 
> 
> 
> This last one confused me. Can you explain what you mean by, "the ignorance of infidelity"?


You and I will have to disagree on the training part. I know there is immediate attraction sometimes, been there, but humans train themselves internally every moment for what they will do later.
As far as ignorance goes, you don't have to cheat to get sexual satisfaction, just pour yourselves into each other and grow and improve. It does take two however.


----------



## 2ntnuf

ConanHub said:


> You and I will have to disagree on the training part. I know there is immediate attraction sometimes, been there, but humans train themselves internally every moment for what they will do later.
> As far as ignorance goes, you don't have to cheat to get sexual satisfaction, just pour yourselves into each other and grow and improve. It does take two however.


So, you think women are not sexual beings? They don't care if they have sex, until they train themselves to want it? They will sleep with any man, no matter his appearance, as long as he stimulates her brain and emotions? I doubt you believe this.

I think there is much more to your thoughts that is missing in your post, that brings you to your conclusion. I bet we actually are on the same page. 

No, you don't have to cheat to get sexual satisfaction. BUT, and there is always a, "but", isn't there? IF, you are NOT physically matched(you don't have to be perfectly matched, just in the ball park, as women have stated in this very thread), you, as a couple, will not be satisfied as well as you could. Yes, we all compromise(settle), to an extent, but there are personal limitations.


----------



## somethingelse

2ntnuf said:


> So, you think women are not sexual beings? They don't care if they have sex, until they train themselves to want it? They will sleep with any man, no matter his appearance, as long as he stimulates her brain and emotions? I doubt you believe this.
> 
> I think there is much more to your thoughts that is missing in your post, that brings you to your conclusion. I bet we actually are on the same page.
> 
> No, you don't have to cheat to get sexual satisfaction. BUT, and there is always a, "but", isn't there? *IF, you are NOT physically matched(you don't have to be perfectly matched, just in the ball park, as women have stated in this very thread), you, as a couple, will not be satisfied as well as you could. Yes, we all compromise(settle), to an extent, but there are personal limitations.*


:iagree:


----------



## ConanHub

2ntnuf said:


> So, you think women are not sexual beings? They don't care if they have sex, until they train themselves to want it? They will sleep with any man, no matter his appearance, as long as he stimulates her brain and emotions? I doubt you believe this.
> 
> I think there is much more to your thoughts that is missing in your post, that brings you to your conclusion. I bet we actually are on the same page.
> 
> No, you don't have to cheat to get sexual satisfaction. BUT, and there is always a, "but", isn't there? IF, you are NOT physically matched(you don't have to be perfectly matched, just in the ball park, as women have stated in this very thread), you, as a couple, will not be satisfied as well as you could. Yes, we all compromise(settle), to an extent, but there are personal limitations.


As far as impulses go, every human has them. How we train ourselves to handle them is the outcome. I believe we are far more than our feelings and impulses.

I have actually studied learned behavior extensively. Sexual attraction does occur naturally but can be changed or even totally altered by conscious decisions over a period of time.

People actually do train themselves all the time even without realizing it.

I agree to a point about compatibility but there is certainly no rulebook on individual tastes. I have seen some pretty, seemingly, mismatched couples that were pretty happy.

On penis size.... Generally, meaning in absolutely most cases, if a man is in the average range, all else is mental/emotional.

Always exceptions, but doesn't disprove the rule.


----------



## MattMatt

There was a colleague at work. She had dumped her older husband (she was the one who gave her husband a heart attack during a particularly vigorous session of love making) to "find herself."

She found a wealthy businessman -amongst others- but got rid of him. "Why?" asked a female colleague. "I thought you liked him?"

"Yes. He was great! Handsome, wealthy... but he didn't have a particularly large c*ck. So he had to go."

The female colleagues agreed with her.

When I last heard about her she was jobless, penniless and homeless. Oh. well.


----------



## kristin2349

MattMatt said:


> There was a colleague at work. She had dumped her older husband (she was the one who gave her husband a heart attack during a particularly vigorous session of love making) to "find herself."
> 
> She found a wealthy businessman -amongst others- but got rid of him. "Why?" asked a female colleague. "I thought you liked him?"
> 
> "Yes. He was great! Handsome, wealthy... but he didn't have a particularly large c*ck. So he had to go."
> 
> The female colleagues agreed with her.
> 
> When I last heard about her she was jobless, penniless and homeless. Oh. well.



MattMatt honey, a woman capable of "giving " a man a heart attack via vigorous sex will never end up jobless, penniless & homeless. If she's smart & enterprising she will put her "superpower" poison pvssy to good use and become a Merry Widow.

I digress, it is rare to get the "whole package" in a mate don't you think. If you are after just physical traits you are going to get the surface relationship you deserve. Marry for money, you'll earn every cent... 

I hope the OP figures out there are things in life you can change and those you can't (short of surgery). Personal growth and peace are a much better use of time and energy.


----------



## MattMatt

kristin2349 said:


> MattMatt honey, a woman capable of "giving " a man a heart attack via vigorous sex will never end up jobless, penniless & homeless. If she's smart & enterprising she will put her "superpower" poison pvssy to good use and become a Merry Widow.
> 
> I digress, it is rare to get the "whole package" in a mate don't you think. If you are after just physical traits you are going to get the surface relationship you deserve. Marry for money, you'll earn every cent...
> 
> I hope the OP figures out there are things in life you can change and those you can't (short of surgery). Personal growth and peace are a much better use of time and energy.


We had a long talk, one day. She told me that she knew that she would start cheating on her husband, so decided to divorce him before that happened.


----------



## larry.gray

ing said:


> See this chart. It is not the holy grail but shows a normal spread for preference.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Notice is ends at 10" This is because this is freaky huge and despite this preference graph it s not normal.


Oh please, get real.

I don't make it into the "A" zone for length. Very, very few men do. Even then, I don't get to do the "deep penetration" moves because it hurts my wife.

I'm willing to be that for 90% or more of the women, they can't take all of a guy that is in the "A" zone. And without taking it all, they ware not going to get pubic to pubic contact that is so important to stimulating a woman. It may be fun to look at, hold and play with, but no fun to ride.


----------



## 2ntnuf

ConanHub said:


> As far as impulses go, every human has them. How we train ourselves to handle them is the outcome. I believe we are far more than our feelings and impulses. No disagreement there. We don't have to have sex with that person who we are naturally attracted to.
> 
> I have actually studied learned behavior extensively. *4)Sexual attraction does occur naturally* but can be changed or even totally altered by conscious decisions over a period of time.
> 
> People actually do train themselves all the time even without realizing it. Repeating some behavior time and again will do this. I agree.
> 
> I agree to a point about compatibility but there is certainly no rulebook on individual tastes.*1) I have seen some pretty, seemingly, mismatched couples that were pretty happy.*
> 
> *2)On penis size.... Generally, meaning in absolutely most cases, if a man is in the average range, all else is mental/emotional.*
> *3)Always exceptions, but doesn't disprove the rule*.




1)So, you are not talking about sexually, because, how would YOU know? 

2)Then we are on the same page, after all. 

3)There are, however, variations which cause incompatibility sexually, due to physical characteristics, based on size. I think we can agree there is potential for that, and it has happened to some.

4)In women? Because that's what we were discussing. I think we agree there.


----------



## 2ntnuf

ConanHub said:


> As far as impulses go, every human has them. How we train ourselves to handle them is the outcome. I believe we are far more than our feelings and impulses.
> 
> I have actually studied learned behavior extensively. Sexual attraction does occur naturally *but can be changed or even totally altered by conscious decisions over a period of time.*
> 
> People actually do train themselves all the time even without realizing it.
> 
> I agree to a point about compatibility but there is certainly no rulebook on individual tastes. I have seen some pretty, seemingly, mismatched couples that were pretty happy.
> 
> On penis size.... Generally, meaning in absolutely most cases, if a man is in the average range, all else is mental/emotional.
> 
> Always exceptions, but doesn't disprove the rule.


I would be interested in some extra explanation about this. I think it is based upon bad experiences with a certain type of person. 

For example, not to trigger or hurt anyone:

If a woman is raped by a man with dark wavy hair, close-set eyes, and wearing blue jeans and a tee-shirt, I imagine she will not be attracted to a man like that again. I would think any other factors, like money, social status, etc. would no longer be considered when she looks at another man who has similarities to the rapist. She may be able to get past the clothing, but I bet it would be a trigger. 

Is that what you mean? I would agree with that. 

I think anything, that causes painful memories in a man or woman would remove or alter the persons perception of attraction to that type of person.


----------



## kristin2349

MattMatt said:


> We had a long talk, one day. She told me that she knew that she would start cheating on her husband, so decided to divorce him before that happened.



That was short sighted of her (pun intended) I think successful relationships are built on many things compromise is one. Her being a size queen obviously cost her.


----------



## 2ntnuf

MattMatt said:


> There was a colleague at work. She had dumped her older husband (she was the one who gave her husband a heart attack during a particularly vigorous session of love making) to "find herself."
> 
> She found a wealthy businessman -amongst others- but got rid of him. "Why?" asked a female colleague. "I thought you liked him?"
> 
> "Yes. He was great! Handsome, wealthy... but he didn't have a particularly large c*ck. So he had to go."
> 
> *The female colleagues agreed with her.*
> 
> When I last heard about her she was jobless, penniless and homeless. Oh. well.


Brings up another point I made. Why did all these women agree if it is not important to be, "sexually matched"? There are those who are not. It's not one size fits all. There is consensus among women about certain things. They know there are some who just aren't going to make it long-term.

*Edit:* Any woman who settles in this area has only herself to blame for the divorce. I bet there are few women who would take the blame, though. Most of the honorable ones, I've found here at TAM.


----------



## ThePheonix

Thor said:


> Oh I am sure I am above average. My wife told me so!


If she ever comes back from an out of town trip and tells you she no longer thinks you're above average, you've got problems.


----------



## ThePheonix

2ntnuf said:


> *Edit:* Any woman who settles in this area has only herself to blame for the divorce. I bet there are few women who would take the blame, though. Most of the honorable ones, I've found here at TAM.


Any "average" guy who marries a woman who requires a 10 inch long and 3 inch diameter tool is an idiot to begin with. A gal like that probably ain't gonna do him much good either. I wonder if that's what my granddaddy meant when he told me not to fool with loose women.


----------



## 2ntnuf

ThePheonix said:


> Any "average" guy who marries a woman who requires a 10 inch long and 3 inch diameter tool is an idiot to begin with. A gal like that probably ain't gonna do him much good either. I wonder if that's what my granddaddy meant when he told me not to fool with loose women.


And that was another point I made.

However, I've read plenty of threads which state that a woman doesn't get off on PIV. She gets off on clitoral stimulation. 

1)Does that mean she is settling for someone smaller than her ideal?

2)If a woman can get off on clitoral stim, how would a man know if he, IS, too small?


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

A whole lot of time and energy being spent here on something you have no control over.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## 2ntnuf

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> A whole lot of time and energy being spent here on something you have no control over.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


If men can understand what it takes to please a woman and have the best chance at knowing who is the best overall match, there is no time wasted. It actually will be time well spent for both the man and the woman. No one wants to be dissatisfied and find out down the road, after spending years thinking they were right for each other. 

If things change that much for one party or the other, physically, as is being discussed here, in this thread, it's important for a man to understand, it's not necessarily, his, fault. 

It is also important for husbands and wives to know so they can up their abilities to please their spouse and do the very best they can to keep their marriage together, rather than just giving up.


----------



## 2ntnuf

2ntnuf said:


> And that was another point I made.
> 
> However, I've read plenty of threads which state that a woman doesn't get off on PIV. She gets off on clitoral stimulation.
> 
> 1)Does that mean she is settling for someone smaller than her ideal?
> 
> *2)If a woman can get off on clitoral stim, how would a man know if he, IS, too small?*


Maybe, just maybe, he can tell by how much she has to squeeze him? I don't know for sure. Is that possible?


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

2ntnuf said:


> JustSomeGuyWho said:
> 
> 
> 
> A whole lot of time and energy being spent here on something you have no control over.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_
> 
> 
> 
> If men can understand what it takes to please a woman and have the best chance at knowing who is the best overall match, there is no time wasted. It actually will be time well spent for both the man and the woman. No one wants to be dissatisfied and find out down the road, after spending years thinking they were right for each other.
> 
> If things change that much for one party or the other, physically, as is being discussed here, in this thread, it's important for a man to understand, it's not necessarily, his, fault.
> 
> It is also important for husbands and wives to know so they can up their abilities to please their spouse and do the very best they can to keep their marriage together, rather than just giving up.
Click to expand...

My point is the time and energy should be focused on learning how to please your spouse regardless of the size of your member. That is something you can control. It is pointless to worry about the size of your member. If you went by the chart posted earlier of ideal size for a woman, the majority of men should just give up right now, which of course is absurd.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## WyshIknew

While I can understand Samdew's concerns, I think many men would find it difficult to deal with the fact that an AP had a much larger penis.
It just seems such an insignificant part of the whole thing to focus on. Is it a kind of deflection by Samdew?

His wife initially rebuffed the OM's advances (allegedly) and told him she was married. However he persisted and eventually she 'gave in'. She should have rebuffed him, then when he persisted she should have informed Samdew and management of OM's actions.

She carried on an affair while repeatedly denying and basically laughing off Samdew's concerns.

According to Samdew this guy is a pathetic loser although I don't buy that. He is undoubtedly a POS but he serves his country and has bedded several married women. He has also received promotion at work. An amoral POS maybe but not pathetic in the strictest dictionary sense.

Even if he is pathetic Mrs Samdew dropped her knickers for him and sucked him off. What does that say about Mrs Samdew's thought processes and respect for Samdew that she did that with a pathetic loser?
And they did it once? Puhlease!

Then he dumps her once he's had his fun and targets some other married women and she comes running back to Samdew. She would probably still be humping him if he wanted to.

Samdew has done (it seems, we don't always get the whole story obviously) nothing about the OM, including not warning other husbands of this predator. It seems to me that OM has found a successful formula and will likely continue until he gets exposed as a POS or gets a beat down from an angry husband. Or does he target women of men who he guesses will do little about him?

Also Mrs Samdew seems to have had little consequence for her actions, she hasn't even had to write a no contact letter last I heard. She still works at the same place. Although OM now works in another branch what happens if he gets moved back?

Worrying about the size of OM's penis seems analogous to worrying about a cut on your finger while you are dying from acute blood loss caused by a hole in your chest.


ETA. I also do not believe the "He couldn't finish, keep it up thing."

This guy seems like an experienced predator/player who has apparently bedded many? married women and going by Samdew's description of the smirk that OM gave him when they met he gets off on it.


----------



## somethingelse

Oh BOY


----------



## 2ntnuf

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> My point is the time and energy should be focused on learning how to please your spouse regardless of the size of your member. That is something you can control. It is pointless to worry about the size of your member. If you went by the chart posted earlier of ideal size for a woman, the majority of men should just give up right now, which of course is absurd.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


I hear ya. Which woman did they use for that chart? I missed that part. Yeah, it's best to learn how to please her and what the signs are that she is pleased. Some, as stated here, will not be satisfied with just learning how to stimulate her external, "parts".


----------



## WyshIknew

somethingelse said:


> Oh BOY


Was I too harsh?


I didn't mean to be, I just said it the way I saw it.


----------



## kristin2349

WyshIknew said:


> Was I too harsh?
> 
> 
> I didn't mean to be, I just said it the way I saw it.


I think you summed it up perfectly. The truth can be brutal. But it was honest, not a personal attack. It really should be the starting point of any healing on the part of OP.


----------



## ThePheonix

The only thing I can add W is for another guy to take your woman, you have to lose her first. A successful formula for seducing women only works on women who want to be seduced.


----------



## davecarter

WyshIknew said:


> While I can understand Samdew's concerns, I think many men would find it difficult to deal with the fact that an AP had a much larger penis.
> It just seems such an insignificant part of the whole thing to focus on. Is it a kind of deflection by Samdew?
> 
> His wife initially rebuffed the OM's advances (allegedly) and told him she was married. However he persisted and eventually she 'gave in'. She should have rebuffed him, then when he persisted she should have informed Samdew and management of OM's actions.
> 
> She carried on an affair while repeatedly denying and basically laughing off Samdew's concerns.
> 
> According to Samdew this guy is a pathetic loser although I don't buy that. He is undoubtedly a POS but he serves his country and has bedded several married women. He has also received promotion at work. An amoral POS maybe but not pathetic in the strictest dictionary sense.
> 
> Even if he is pathetic Mrs Samdew dropped her knickers for him and sucked him off. What does that say about Mrs Samdew's thought processes and respect for Samdew that she did that with a pathetic loser?
> And they did it once? Puhlease!
> 
> Then he dumps her once he's had his fun and targets some other married women and she comes running back to Samdew. She would probably still be humping him if he wanted to.
> 
> Samdew has done (it seems, we don't always get the whole story obviously) nothing about the OM, including not warning other husbands of this predator. It seems to me that OM has found a successful formula and will likely continue until he gets exposed as a POS or gets a beat down from an angry husband. Or does he target women of men who he guesses will do little about him?
> 
> Also Mrs Samdew seems to have had little consequence for her actions, she hasn't even had to write a no contact letter last I heard. She still works at the same place. Although OM now works in another branch what happens if he gets moved back?
> 
> Worrying about the size of OM's penis seems analogous to worrying about a cut on your finger while you are dying from acute blood loss caused by a hole in your chest.
> 
> 
> ETA. I also do not believe the "He couldn't finish, keep it up thing."
> 
> This guy seems like an experienced predator/player who has apparently bedded many? married women and going by Samdew's description of the smirk that OM gave him when they met he gets off on it.


I don't see anything particularly harsh with this post - you're being honest in every way.
The only way I could see the OM being a 'loser' is if he manages to bed married women over and over because he struggles to get it up/finish so he moves onto another?
It's also a good point of why no-ones dropped this guy yet, but you also covered that aspect.

Good post...brutally honest...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## somethingelse

WyshIknew said:


> Was I too harsh?
> 
> 
> I didn't mean to be, I just said it the way I saw it.


No you weren't harsh Wysh. I just realized that there is a lot more to this situation than I knew about before.


----------



## Deejo

Everybody loves a big penis ... thread.


----------



## EI

2ntnuf said:


> And that was another point I made.
> 
> However, I've read plenty of threads which state that a woman doesn't get off on PIV. She gets off on clitoral stimulation.



Now, this thread has descended into ridiculousness.  For Heaven's sake. No one thread can declare that a "woman doesn't get off on PIV. She gets off on clitoral stimulation." All anyone can ever, accurately, state is what they know works for them. I can, personally, guarantee that some women can get off on PIV. Some get off on oral stimulation, some can get off if their partner knows how to ring their bell using his fingers, and SOME women, who have an incredibly gifted spouse/partner, and know their own bodies very well, can get off on what I like to call a "boobgasm." And, finally, some get off on all, some, or none of the above. It is a very individual thing. There's a whole lotta ways to get the job done! 

I think when it comes down to it, we have to acknowledge that for some people, perhaps, penis size is important. Although, it appears that it may be more important to most men than it is to most women. But, for others, the old saying, "It ain't the size of the boat, but the motion of ya ocean" may hold more weight! Apparently, it's different strokes for different folks!  

As a former WS, I just can't imagine penis size ever being a factor, much less the cause, of an affair. But, if that reason is given or even insinuated, by your WS, just skip any reconciliation effort and find someone else.


----------



## ThePheonix

EI said:


> But, if that reason is given or even insinuated, by your WS, just skip any reconciliation effort and find someone else.


Couldn't have said it better or made a more discerning statement my girl.


----------



## davecarter

*samdew*, some varied opinions here - and I agreed with *WyshIKnew*.

If the OM who tagged your wife has a 'reputation' for a) having a big c0ck and b) using that along with his confidence to get other men's wives, then I think we can ascertain your wife is probably 'shoeshining' around what they both got up to and how many times.

There are pros and cons from this - on one hand, your wife is back with you (if the OM dumped her, then it's very likely she would be f*cking him regularly) but the smart-money suggests, yes, she did enjoy her OM and is probably lying to you about what they did and how many times they did it. (see also: _"we never kissed", "it was only one time_", blah-blah-blah)

I've never met a woman yet, ever, who didn't get excited by or wasn't _at least_ intrigued by knowing that a guy was well-hung (and I can vouch for this personally as my wife did exactly that: she was 'interested' in her OM when she got friendly and he did all the 'nice-guy-who-listens-to-a-neglected-wife' talk but she didn't make any major move back toward him until she heard that he was known for being a well-hung. Matters were made worse when she confirmed to me a couple of months into her relationship with him that he was also really good in bed - so, a double-whammy for me: as I said earlier, because I now have issues with self-esteem and ED. This is something I'm having to work on, Im afraid. ).

Bottom-line: you've just got to suck it up this inadequacy feeling and accept this...or it will drive you crazy.


----------



## Lordhavok

treyvion said:


> If you just had to be cheated on and your choice of affair partners was the 10" guy or the 3" guy, you'd be happy to be cheated on with the 3" guy.


Have to agree with you on that one


----------



## Thorburn

ing said:


> Oh for goodness sake! There is a range of penis sizes and different women prefer different sizes based on their physical makeup. Some couples are more physically compatible but generally men and women are designed to fit together with various levels of comfort and enjoyment.
> See this chart. It is not the holy grail but shows a normal spread for preference.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Notice is ends at 10" This is because this is freaky huge and despite this preference graph it s not normal.
> 
> 
> A huge verified ( don't ask) Internet survey has been conducted and the average size based on Internet respondents with show off bias correction has the common or garden willy at somewhat under 6" long and a circumference is just under 5".
> 
> Don't sweat it. Really. She had a big one. She liked it. You have to decide if you can get over the affair, not the size of his willy!


:rofl::iagree::lol:

This made my day for sure


----------



## davecarter

Lordhavok said:


> Have to agree with you on that one


Disagree.
If your wife cheated on you with a guy who was say, 10", I'd have to hold my hand up and say _"Fair play"_ 

If she cheated on me with a guy at 3", I'd be like, _"WTF?! I'm twice his size, yet still not satisfying her"_ :scratchhead:

I'd think the worse scenario is if you are already 8" and she cheats on you with a) 3" or b) 10"
The you know for sure you got problems....


----------



## WyshIknew

davecarter said:


> *samdew*, some varied opinions here - and I agreed with *WyshIKnew*.
> 
> If the OM who tagged your wife has a 'reputation' for a) having a big c0ck and b) using that along with his confidence to get other men's wives, then I think we can ascertain your wife is probably 'shoeshining' around what they both got up to and how many times.
> 
> There are pros and cons from this - on one hand, your wife is back with you (if the OM dumped her, then it's very likely she would be f*cking him regularly) but the smart-money suggests, yes, she did enjoy her OM and is probably lying to you about what they did and how many times they did it. (see also: _"we never kissed", "it was only one time_", blah-blah-blah)
> 
> I've never met a woman yet, ever, who didn't get excited by or wasn't _at least_ intrigued by knowing that a guy was well-hung (and I can vouch for this personally as my wife did exactly that: she was 'interested' in her OM when she got friendly and he did all the 'nice-guy-who-listens-to-a-neglected-wife' talk but she didn't make any major move back toward him until she heard that he was known for being a well-hung. Matters were made worse when she confirmed to me a couple of months into her relationship with him that he was also really good in bed - so, a double-whammy for me: as I said earlier, because I now have issues with self-esteem and ED. This is something I'm having to work on, Im afraid. ).
> 
> Bottom-line: you've just got to suck it up this inadequacy feeling and accept this...or it will drive you crazy.


I'm a man so it is obviously difficult for me to see things as a woman would. However the information I have gleaned here and IRL would seem to indicate that if you are at least average then it's all good. A big willy is probably more pleasing to the eye than anything else, a kind of 'wow' moment when it is revealed.

As mentioned by several of the well hung men here they have had women leave them for ordinarily hung men so it can't be that important.

I would just scrape into the B on that chart personally so nothing very special here I'm afraid. What I would like to think is special is the man behind that willy.

I may not have the biggest, but I bet I've got the prettiest!

If Samdew is determined to stay with his WW then he needs to focus on stuff that he can change or do something about. Why worry about the guys willy? It's not as if he can change his own size.
He has got plenty of other issues that he should be worried about.

I wouldn't obsess about it because that is counter productive too but I would blow up OM's life as much as possible then ignore him.

She really needs to change jobs. Even aside from the obvious get the two affair partners apart I would suspect that if he is someone who enjoys the humiliation of the husband, it is likely that he bragged to his pals.
Would you be comfortable wondering if other men at that place of work saw her as an easy lay and got to work on her?

No contact letter? It's as much for you as it is to send to OM. A little humiliating that she can't even be bothered to write a few simple words for the husband she betrayed so badly.


----------



## treyvion

weightlifter said:


> Your wife got played by a player. Note this does not make her not guilty. Congrats you belong in the same club as RDMU, gijeffro, RTBP, and a half dozen others i have read but cant chase down the names.
> 
> Note all men i have respect for.
> 
> I can teach any median male how to do player 101. Its neither complex nor difficult.


Game on a GF in a committed relationsion or a wife on a GNO is easy as taking candy from a baby. They want to cheat on their men.


----------



## treyvion

Thorburn said:


> :rofl::iagree::lol:
> 
> This made my day for sure


This chart has been floating around the internet for years, and has been proven to be a creation based on the ideas of the author. Has no bearing on reality.

Although the truth is women will be fine with an average c0ck or one slightly above or below, but many would like to play with a big c0ck occasionally, even if just to see one. It has a eye candy effect similar to a guy who likes big boobs getting to see a set of big boobs.


----------



## treyvion

davecarter said:


> Disagree.
> If your wife cheated on you with a guy who was say, 10", I'd have to hold my hand up and say _"Fair play"_
> 
> If she cheated on me with a guy at 3", I'd be like, _"WTF?! I'm twice his size, yet still not satisfying her"_ :scratchhead:
> 
> I'd think the worse scenario is if you are already 8" and she cheats on you with a) 3" or b) 10"
> The you know for sure you got problems....


Cheated with the 10" just to screw around with your pride.


----------



## treyvion

2ntnuf said:


> I would be interested in some extra explanation about this. I think it is based upon bad experiences with a certain type of person.
> 
> For example, not to trigger or hurt anyone:
> 
> If a woman is raped by a man with dark wavy hair, close-set eyes, and wearing blue jeans and a tee-shirt, I imagine she will not be attracted to a man like that again. I would think any other factors, like money, social status, etc. would no longer be considered when she looks at another man who has similarities to the rapist. She may be able to get past the clothing, but I bet it would be a trigger.
> 
> Is that what you mean? I would agree with that.
> 
> I think anything, that causes painful memories in a man or woman would remove or alter the persons perception of attraction to that type of person.


Yes! That VIBE, that SWAGGER that facial similarities will trigger bad memories. It will be repulsive and she will be defensive around it.


----------



## davecarter

WyshIknew said:


> I'm a man so it is obviously difficult for me to see things as a woman would. However the information I have gleaned here and IRL would seem to indicate that if you are at least average then it's all good. A big willy is probably more pleasing to the eye than anything else, a kind of 'wow' moment when it is revealed.
> 
> As mentioned by several of the well hung men here they have had women leave them for ordinarily hung men so it can't be that important.
> 
> I would just scrape into the B on that chart personally so nothing very special here I'm afraid. What I would like to think is special is the man behind that willy.
> 
> I may not have the biggest, but I bet I've got the prettiest!
> 
> If Samdew is determined to stay with his WW then he needs to focus on stuff that he can change or do something about. Why worry about the guys willy? It's not as if he can change his own size.
> He has got plenty of other issues that he should be worried about.
> 
> I wouldn't obsess about it because that is counter productive too but I would blow up OM's life as much as possible then ignore him.
> 
> She really needs to change jobs. Even aside from the obvious get the two affair partners apart I would suspect that if he is someone who enjoys the humiliation of the husband, it is likely that he bragged to his pals.
> Would you be comfortable wondering if other men at that place of work saw her as an easy lay and got to work on her?
> 
> No contact letter? It's as much for you as it is to send to OM. A little humiliating that she can't even be bothered to write a few simple words for the husband she betrayed so badly.


That's enough reason to get her to change. Otherwise, as a husband, you'd have no way of knowing if she was cheating and with whom.
Pretty soul-destroying really, unless you're a bonafide _cuckold _type of guy who likes it.

Each to their own, though...


----------



## davecarter

treyvion said:


> Cheated with the 10" just to screw around with your pride.


Possibly, but then, if you are who you are and you accept who you are, the pride thing isn't an issue.

Having said that, I made a massive faux-pas just before Christmas when a woman I've known for 18 months or so totally wanted to get involved with me, like 'a relationship' - she's 28, tall, slim, a bit 'alternative/sexy' looking rather than 'attractive'.
So, she was initially cheating on and then dumped her longterm boyfriend and is currently 'seeing' (aka 'f*cuking') a guy of 46, multi-millionaire, owns 3 homes, and according to her, has a _massive _c0ck and screws her everywhere he can.

So, my mind calculates this as follows: where exactly do I fit in to this scheme? :scratchhead:

Call me nuts, but I told her, _"given my current issues, I'm not going to disappoint you or humiliate myself"_.
I declined.


----------



## vellocet

samdew9 said:


> Although it makes me sick to see him on facebook friending other attached women and most likely playing them like he played my wife.


Ok, this last line is making an excuse for your wife. She wasn't played. Doesn't matter how suave a guy is, she is married and that alone should have led her to tell the guy to fek off.




> Yes, I could expose him. Get him fired and possibly kicked out of the army reserves. But he is a coward who thinks that he is entitled to screw any woman that he wants (his reaction to me calling that woman's ex proved that) and he would retaliate.



Hatred and anger at the OM is understandable, believe me, I know. But all the thoughts of things you'd like to do to him in revenge don't make sense unless you are willing to divorce your wife. Because she is the one that fek'd you over directly. 

I always say, if you have thoughts of revenge or ill will, then you should always wish that on your cheating spouse FIRST, then the OM/OW.




> That is called strength, not spineless. I takes more strength to walk away.


I agree. You do seem very strong and the best of luck to you.




> But at the same time, he is just going to keep doing it to other families.


But only to those families whose wives/mothers are of piss poor character. He isn't holding a gun to these women's heads.
They are willing participants.


----------



## treyvion

davecarter said:


> Possibly, but then, if you are who you are and you accept who you are, the pride thing isn't an issue.
> 
> Having said that, I made a massive faux-pas just before Christmas when a woman I've known for 18 months or so totally wanted to get involved with me, like 'a relationship' - she's 28, tall, slim, a bit 'alternative/sexy' looking rather than 'attractive'.


She wants a side piece to the millionaire. You may just get more than him.



davecarter said:


> So, she was initially cheating on and then dumped her longterm boyfriend and is currently 'seeing' (aka 'f*cuking') a guy of 46, multi-millionaire, owns 3 homes, and according to her, has a _massive _c0ck and screws her everywhere he can.
> 
> So, my mind calculates this as follows: where exactly do I fit in to this scheme? :scratchhead:


Some free sex. Possibly eat on the millionaires coin.



davecarter said:


> Call me nuts, but I told her, _"given my current issues, I'm not going to disappoint you or humiliate myself"_.
> I declined.


If she knows the guy is huge, she has to realize everyone isn't huge, so that's not the selling point.


----------



## davecarter

Edit


----------



## WyshIknew

Don't want to jack Samdews thread but I think this applies to him to in many ways so hopefully ok with him.

First point Dave is to make sure that this woman and the millionaire are not exclusive. I'm sure having gone through what you did you would hate to be the OM here.

Just look to have fun, don't worry about or expect to have nookie.

Remember that you may not have the biggest willy but you do have the prettiest!

Remember it's not the penis, it's the man behind the penis that counts.

Don't get attached, she doesn't sound like a keeper.

Use protection.

Good luck.


----------



## treyvion

WyshIknew said:


> Don't want to jack Samdews thread but I think this applies to him to in many ways so hopefully ok with him.
> 
> First point Dave is to make sure that this woman and the millionaire are not exclusive. I'm sure having gone through what you did you would hate to be the OM here.
> 
> Just look to have fun, don't worry about or expect to have nookie.
> 
> Remember that you may not have the biggest willy but you do have the prettiest!
> 
> Remember it's not the penis, it's the man behind the penis that counts.
> 
> Don't get attached, she doesn't sound like a keeper.
> 
> Use protection.
> 
> Good luck.


Yeah, it sounds like "just sex".

If the rich boyfriend thinks they are exclusive i'm not sure if I would dip in, actually wouldn't want the trouble.

Earlier I was just pointing out how they play this picture.


----------



## davecarter

treyvion said:


> Yeah, it sounds like "just sex".
> 
> If the rich boyfriend thinks they are exclusive i'm not sure if I would dip in, actually wouldn't want the trouble.
> 
> Earlier I was just pointing out how they play this picture.


He does think he is.
She wants more 'commitment'.
I say 'she is just a toy' to him.

Therefore, I'm not going there anyway...think, '_bear-trap_'...


----------



## 2ntnuf

EI said:


> Now, this thread has descended into ridiculousness.  For Heaven's sake. No one thread can declare that a "woman doesn't get off on PIV. She gets off on clitoral stimulation." All anyone can ever, accurately, state is what they know works for them. I can, personally, guarantee that some women can get off on PIV. Some get off on oral stimulation, some can get off if their partner knows how to ring their bell using his fingers, and SOME women, who have an incredibly gifted spouse/partner, and know their own bodies very well, can get off on what I like to call a "boobgasm." And, finally, some get off on all, some, or none of the above. It is a very individual thing. There's a whole lotta ways to get the job done!
> 
> I think when it comes down to it, we have to acknowledge that for some people, perhaps, penis size is important. Although, it appears that it may be more important to most men than it is to most women. But, for others, the old saying, "It ain't the size of the boat, but the motion of ya ocean" may hold more weight! Apparently, it's different strokes for different folks!
> 
> As a former WS, I just can't imagine penis size ever being a factor, much less the cause, of an affair. But, if that reason is given or even insinuated, by your WS, just skip any reconciliation effort and find someone else.


Never said, "all women". I wrote, "a woman". Singular in each case. I've been here long enough to know that everyone is different. 

I don't appreciate the condescending holier than thou remark. I do believe it must have triggered something within your personal relationship or you would not have taken such a strong stance before reading within context and asking. 

I apologize for hurting your feelings. I would appreciate that you ask next time before you jump to any conclusions.

If clitoral stim did not get a woman off, she has a problem. It's a huge bundle of nerves, and I know, the vagina is full of nerves, also.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

samdew9 said:


> No, you're correct. I struggle with this daily. I need to at the very least tell the significant others of the women I suspect he has in his sights.


I would bet many of those women, the married ones he now thinks of targeting for sex, will not give him the time of day. And he will move on to his next female interest as fast as his fear of harsh rejection will propel him ..and I bet that's pretty fast indeed.

It is your wife that is responsible for hurting you, not him. The next guy she cheats with it will be the same story, her hurting you again, not some plot by guy #2 but your wife seeking sex outside your marriage again. Your wife does not seem to be real marriage material IMO. some people are just not cut out for it. I would suggest you divorce her and look for someone that does have that capability. You can then still offer her a "Christ-like" love....compassion, caring what becomes of her. But not try to make her into something she is not.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

Thorburn said:


> I pushed my wife. Having the recording my wife's moans did not sound right, and I thought she was having anal. Same thing, my wife finally said, "I don't want to hurt you but he was huge".
> 
> I am a little about average but WTH? I have been thinking about it from time to time. Just keep working on getting over it.


Thornton:
What an ironic statement coming from her "I don't want to hurt you......" from what you have related in your threads hurting you is of little concern to her.


----------



## ThePheonix

davecarter said:


> So, my mind calculates this as follows: where exactly do I fit in to this scheme? :scratchhead:
> 
> Call me nuts, but I told her, _"given my current issues, I'm not going to disappoint you or humiliate myself"_.
> I declined.


Dave, Dave, Dave, you are nuts. You've let your ex old lady drive you exactly where she wanted you to go. Now you're rejecting exactly what you need out of fear you're inadequate. Big johnson my azz. Dawg, I've did more women whose S/O or husbands purportedly had big johnsons than you've got fingers and toes. And their old lady picked up the tab. 
Hell Dawg, you can't be sure she wasn't embellishing her get togethers to hurt you more. Naw man, she wouldn't do that. I must be out of my mind to think that someone who thought so much of you and had so much integrity would do something like that..
Quit acting like you don't have a clue about women and call that 28 year old and tell her you want to see her. Look at it this way Dawg. If this chick was happy with this ole boy's assets she wouldn't be pinging you. And if you don't fill that need, someone else will.


----------



## davecarter

ThePheonix said:


> Dave, Dave, Dave, you are nuts.
> 1 - You've let your ex old lady drive you exactly where she wanted you to go.
> 
> 2 - Now you're rejecting exactly what you need out of fear you're inadequate. Big johnson my azz. Dawg, I've did more women whose S/O or husbands purportedly had big johnsons than you've got fingers and toes. And their old lady picked up the tab.
> 
> 3 - Hell Dawg, you can't be sure she wasn't embellishing her get togethers to hurt you more. Naw man, she wouldn't do that. I must be out of my mind to think that someone who thought so much of you and had so much integrity would do something like that..
> 
> 4 - Quit acting like you don't have a clue about women and call that 28 year old and tell her you want to see her. Look at it this way Dawg. If this chick was happy with this ole boy's assets she wouldn't be pinging you.
> 
> 5 - And if you don't fill that need, someone else will.


1 - I honestly don't think she did. Our issues were more than just lack-of-sex. Although she (initially) cheated, her anger, frustration and cruelty back to me was warranted.

2 - It's really tougher than you think man...it is for me, anyway...

3 - See 1, above.

4 - I think I have 'some clue', but I'm clearly out-of-the-game when it comes to working-out women anyway

5 - Think the 'horse has bolted' already from what she texted me last night...


----------



## treyvion

davecarter said:


> 1 - I honestly don't think she did. Our issues were more than just lack-of-sex. Although she (initially) cheated, her anger, frustration and cruelty back to me was warranted.
> 
> 2 - It's really tougher than you think man...it is for me, anyway...
> 
> 3 - See 1, above.
> 
> 4 - I think I have 'some clue', but I'm clearly out-of-the-game when it comes to working-out women anyway
> 
> 5 - Think the 'horse has bolted' already from what she texted me last night...


It was just a hoe. If your going to have those as part of your sexlife, you have to take them up on it asap. They usually have someone who "thinks" they are their man, that they like to cheat on. While they offer to guys who are just "fun" and provide no support or responsibility. A real disrespectful one will spend her mans money on you.


----------



## treyvion

ThePheonix said:


> Dave, Dave, Dave, you are nuts. You've let your ex old lady drive you exactly where she wanted you to go. Now you're rejecting exactly what you need out of fear you're inadequate. Big johnson my azz. Dawg, I've did more women whose S/O or husbands purportedly had big johnsons than you've got fingers and toes. And their old lady picked up the tab.
> Hell Dawg, you can't be sure she wasn't embellishing her get togethers to hurt you more. Naw man, she wouldn't do that. I must be out of my mind to think that someone who thought so much of you and had so much integrity would do something like that..
> Quit acting like you don't have a clue about women and call that 28 year old and tell her you want to see her. Look at it this way Dawg. If this chick was happy with this ole boy's assets she wouldn't be pinging you. And if you don't fill that need, someone else will.


She coulda been perfectly happy with her mans financial and physical assets. She may have been the type who has to cheat on her main man with side pieces. Some women just have to do it. It's a hoe mindset.


----------



## davecarter

treyvion said:


> It was just a hoe. If your going to have those as part of your sexlife, you have to take them up on it asap. They usually have someone who "thinks" they are their man, that they like to cheat on. While they offer to guys who are just "fun" and provide no support or responsibility. A real disrespectful one will spend her mans money on you.
> She coulda been perfectly happy with her mans financial and physical assets. She may have been the type who has to cheat on her main man with side pieces. Some women just have to do it. It's a hoe mindset.


I wouldn't say she was/is a hoe.
She simply says I don't want to get involved with me just for 'fun' - she has that already cos this guy ain't going to commit to her.
She wants a relationship: her 28, me 47? Don't think so...


----------



## treyvion

davecarter said:


> I wouldn't say she was/is a hoe.
> She simply says I don't want to get involved with me just for 'fun' - she has that already cos this guy ain't going to commit to her.
> She wants a relationship: her 28, me 47? Don't think so...


It is a non-committal, "hoe" mindset. Doesn't mean they prostitute for money, means they always put themself first and can't be trusted to be in a relationship with you because they are always making back side deals like she was trying to make with you.

She was trying to extend her enjoyment of a incredible situation for her personal pleasure. It's a hoe mentality.


----------



## lostmyreligion

_A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an
unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a
cozy little restaurant.

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from
the gentleman who is seated over there'..... and indicated
the sender with a nod of his head.

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking
at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a
note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a
response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the
gentleman.

The note read:'For me to accept this bottle, you
need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million
dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'..

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in
return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and
instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to
be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600,
and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have
beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre
ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million
dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even
for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three
inches. Just send the wine back.'_

I know..... it's an old one. 

But hey, it hits on a few levels here and someone needed to tell it


----------



## WyshIknew

nuclearnightmare said:


> I would bet many of those women, the married ones he now thinks of targeting for sex, will not give him the time of day. And he will move on to his next female interest as fast as his fear of harsh rejection will propel him ..and I bet that's pretty fast indeed.
> 
> It is your wife that is responsible for hurting you, not him. The next guy she cheats with it will be the same story, her hurting you again, not some plot by guy #2 but your wife seeking sex outside your marriage again. Your wife does not seem to be real marriage material IMO. some people are just not cut out for it. I would suggest you divorce her and look for someone that does have that capability. You can then still offer her a "Christ-like" love....compassion, caring what becomes of her. But not try to make her into something she is not.


So Samdew's OM is not to blame at all, not partially responsible?


----------



## nuclearnightmare

WyshIknew said:


> So Samdew's OM is not to blame at all, not partially responsible?


yeah I think that's the right way to think about it. attention paid to the OM is just a diversion from asking the tough questions that need to be asked (as the title of this thread is, also). all his focus should be on his cheating wife, but maybe that truth is harder to face than obsessing about the OM. yeah you could say the OM has some responsibility for what happened, but he is also irrelevant to the fundamental problem the OP has.


----------



## WyshIknew

nuclearnightmare said:


> yeah I think that's the right way to think about it. attention paid to the OM is just a diversion from asking the tough questions that need to be asked (as the title of this thread is, also). all his focus should be on his cheating wife, but maybe that truth is harder to face than obsessing about the OM. yeah you could say the OM has some responsibility for what happened, but he is also irrelevant to the fundamental problem the OP has.


Well I think that the OM is almost as much to blame as Samdew's wife.

Yes he has to ask the really important questions, and obsessing over whether he had a big willy or not is pointless.

However when the counting's all been done which would you rather be known as?

The guy who said "Never mind old chap it's not your fault you effed my wife, let me make you a nice mug of cocoa and warm your slippers." "Bye, see you around."

Or the guy who rained righteous retribution on both parties involved in the affair?
I'm not talking about 'obsessing', he effed you over and walked away so eff his life up then walk away and wash your hands of him.

I know which wife I would rather pursue as an OM.


----------



## ThePheonix

treyvion said:


> She coulda been perfectly happy with her mans financial and physical assets. She may have been the type who has to cheat on her main man with side pieces. Some women just have to do it. It's a hoe mindset.


Whatever her reason, that between her and her man which makes it her man's problem. At the time, she was offering Dave a NSA roll in the hay. If I was in his shoes, and 20 years younger, I'd went for it. If he'd had a failure to launch, who cares. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


----------



## hawx20

My WW is getting kind of dumb now with my size. Shes always told me I had a big one but here lately shes going over the top. You wouldnt think a guy would find it annoying for his wife to keep saying how big your **** is, but shes going over the top.

Last night she even asked if i've been using a penis pump because it felt bigger than it ever had before. Either she was really turned on or shes just trying to make me feel better.


----------



## weightlifter

hawx20 said:


> My WW is getting kind of dumb now with my size. Shes always told me I had a big one but here lately shes going over the top. You wouldnt think a guy would find it annoying for his wife to keep saying how big your **** is, but shes going over the top.
> 
> Last night she even asked if i've been using a penis pump because it felt bigger than it ever had before. Either she was really turned on or shes just trying to make me feel better.


Penn and Teller tested pumps, stretching and pills. All three led to gains of exactly 0.00".

Big talk beats. "Are you in yet?" "Where is my electron microscope?" "are you jealous of ants?"


----------



## weightlifter

IT is possible for both the player and the wife to be guilty. We have multiple cases of the player probing and being rejected for months.

Yes they should have shut it down harder but that is why I say both are guilty.


----------



## kristin2349

hawx20 said:


> My WW is getting kind of dumb now with my size. Shes always told me I had a big one but here lately shes going over the top. You wouldnt think a guy would find it annoying for his wife to keep saying how big your **** is, but shes going over the top.
> 
> Last night she even asked if i've been using a penis pump because it felt bigger than it ever had before. Either she was really turned on or shes just trying to make me feel better.



Maybe it's a bit of both. I can see where under the circumstances it would be a possible trigger. Gotta love those, the "gift" that keeps on giving. Maybe you should ask her if she's been doing her Kegels


----------



## houser_distressed

weightlifter said:


> Penn and Teller tested pumps, stretching and pills. All three led to gains of exactly 0.00".
> 
> Big talk beats. "Are you in yet?" "Where is my electron microscope?" "are you jealous of ants?"


:toast::toast::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## davecarter

ThePheonix said:


> Whatever her reason, that between her and her man which makes it her man's problem. At the time, she was offering Dave a NSA roll in the hay. If I was in his shoes, and 20 years younger, I'd went for it. If he'd had a failure to launch, who cares. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


No, this is the thing: she's offering a *Relationship*.


----------



## ThePheonix

Remember what ole Bill Shakespeare said Dave.

_O! be some other name. What’s in a name? that which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet;_

Its just semantics Dawg.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

WyshIknew said:


> Well I think that the OM is almost as much to blame as Samdew's wife.
> 
> Yes he has to ask the really important questions, and obsessing over whether he had a big willy or not is pointless.
> 
> However when the counting's all been done which would you rather be known as?
> 
> The guy who said "Never mind old chap it's not your fault you effed my wife, let me make you a nice mug of cocoa and warm your slippers." "Bye, see you around."
> 
> Or the guy who rained righteous retribution on both parties involved in the affair?
> I'm not talking about 'obsessing', he effed you over and walked away so eff his life up then walk away and wash your hands of him.
> 
> I know which wife I would rather pursue as an OM.




alright I'll take guy #2. now you have to choose among these two. would you rather be --

1. the guy who beats up the OM and keeps his wife.
2. the guy who leaves the OM alone and gets rid of his wife


----------



## Thor

3. The guy who beats up the OM and gets rid of his wife.


----------



## Healer

Chris989 said:


> For some bizarre fd up reason, she was keen to make it clear that, despite him being bigger than me, it "seemed to go in much easier".


Good grief.


----------



## Healer

adriana said:


> Nowhere in my post I implied that the OP should beat up the OM. I am a peaceful person by nature and find any acts of violence completely revolting and primitive. But if I were a man and some dude screwed my wife behind my back, I could see myself making his life completely miserable. I guess turning another cheek isn't my thing.
> 
> As for the OP regaining respect for his wife, I don't think that she really cares much about it. But I may be wrong.


Not me. The second my stbxw spread for another guy, she became nothing to me - a useless, whoring **** who I wouldn't piss on if she were on fire. And the POSOM? How is he worth my time and energy?

Just because a man doesn't go out and get some sort of revenge and put a bunch of time, energy and whatever else into making the WS and the POSOM pay doesn't mean they are not a real man.

I showed my cheating wife what I thought about her by filing for divorce and scraping her off my shoe. I wasted no time trying to get any other sort of payback from either of them - because they aren't worth the **** on my shoe.


----------



## Healer

Plan 9 from OS said:


> LOL! I'm sorry, but even in a thread meant to help the OP cope with processing details of the affair, it really degenerates into another penis size thread. I guess I'm no better since I responded purely from an informational POV about average sizes and measurement techniques. But...c'mon here. Practically every freaking guy that posted in this thread has to proclaim that they are above average in size?!?! Bullsh!t. Either the majority of you suck at measuring yourselves, are just getting estimates via eyeballing your junk or simply have to LIE about your own size.
> 
> Not trying to single you out BF, but it's quite hard to read this thread without feeling you're in a Lake Woebegone where everyone is above average...
> 
> Sorry for the thread jack OP. Your issue isn't the size of your penis. It has everything to do with your own lack of confidence in yourself and your lack of self respect. You let your wife walk all over you which ultimately ended in disaster for you. It wasn't your fault she decided to cheat on you. But she DID go after someone who was exuding more self confidence. Too bad her OM measured his self confidence based on the size of his crank. Ultimately doing that is analogous to finding confidence via a placebo since it appears your wife's OM doesn't really have true self confidence either - just something he manufactured by what he has between his legs. You're better than that. You shouldn't have to derive your confidence and self respect from what you were given, you claim these from what you make of yourself.


Don't feel bad Plan - I'm sure you bring the average down on this thread of huge members.  I kid, I KID!!!


----------



## Healer

larry.gray said:


> There also can be some selection bias here. If a guy indeed is on the smaller size, he's not going to chime in, is he?


Exactly. If this thread was about muscles/physique, I wouldn't post. Because I'm a skinny little dude.


----------



## treyvion

Healer said:


> Don't feel bad Plan - I'm sure you bring the average down on this thread of huge members.  I kid, I KID!!!


We gotta bunch of 9 inchers in here, porn needs to recruit from TAM.


----------



## treyvion

hawx20 said:


> My WW is getting kind of dumb now with my size. Shes always told me I had a big one but here lately shes going over the top. You wouldnt think a guy would find it annoying for his wife to keep saying how big your **** is, but shes going over the top.
> 
> Last night she even asked if i've been using a penis pump because it felt bigger than it ever had before. Either she was really turned on or shes just trying to make me feel better.


If she's trying to make you feel better, ENJOY it! Keep it going.


----------



## kristin2349

treyvion said:


> We gotta bunch of 9 inchers in here, porn needs to recruit from TAM.


:rofl::rofl::rofl::iagree:


----------



## learning to love myself

mineforever said:


> Its called "hysterical bonding" its a normal process after an affair when you are trying to "R". Enjoy it, it will slow Dow a little later on most likely. It is a subconscious rebounding thing that happens. She isn't really consciously doing it, it just happens to all couples. If you read through posts here you will find it quite alot.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm the one who cheated, we went from sex once a year to 3-4 times a day for at least 8 months, we slowed down for a few months to maybe once a week and now were back to 1-2 times a day and its been 2.6 years.


----------



## treyvion

learning to love myself said:


> I'm the one who cheated, we went from sex once a year to 3-4 times a day for at least 8 months, we slowed down for a few months to maybe once a week and now were back to 1-2 times a day and its been 2.6 years.


Damn, thats alot of sex.


----------



## Healer

treyvion said:


> We gotta bunch of 9 inchers in here, porn needs to recruit from TAM.


7.59132".


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

hawx20 said:


> My WW is getting kind of dumb now with my size. Shes always told me I had a big one but here lately shes going over the top. You wouldnt think a guy would find it annoying for his wife to keep saying how big your **** is, but shes going over the top.
> 
> Last night she even asked if i've been using a penis pump because it felt bigger than it ever had before. *Either she was really turned on* or shes just trying to make me feel better.


Not trying to be a killjoy, but the more turned on a woman gets, the easier it is to slide into her. Arousal not only creates more lubrication, it also causes the vaginal canal to relax and expand a little to make it easier for penetration.


----------



## Healer

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Not trying to be a killjoy, but the more turned on a woman gets, the easier it is to slide into her. Arousal not only creates more lubrication, it also causes the vaginal canal to relax and expand a little to make it easier for penetration.


Ok Dr. OS.


----------



## ThePheonix

Chris989 said:


> For some bizarre fd up reason, she was keen to make it clear that, despite him being bigger than me, it "seemed to go in much easier".





Healer said:


> Good grief.



I think she meant the knife in his back. At any rate, I know what answer I'd give her to the question, "does thes pants make my butt look big?".


----------



## ThePheonix

I think the guy who started the thread asked for women's opinions on size. After all, they would be the experts.


----------



## martyc47

ThePheonix said:


> I think the guy who started the thread asked for women's opinions on size. After all, they would be the experts.


Yeah, but they can't measure. Probably because they are used to men telling them 6 inches is a foot.


----------



## 3putt

martyc47 said:


> Yeah, but they can't measure. Probably because they are used to men telling them 6 inches is a foot.


LOL....and even worse?.....believing it.


----------



## raven3321

Now where did I put that yard stick......


----------



## WyshIknew

nuclearnightmare said:


> alright I'll take guy #2. now you have to choose among these two. would you rather be --
> 
> 1. the guy who beats up the OM and keeps his wife.
> 2. the guy who leaves the OM alone and gets rid of his wife


Depends on circumstances.

All things being equal I would choose option 2.


Circumstances? Say OM was taunting me, I would have difficulty walking away.

In this day and age giving the OM a slap is generally not a good idea unless you have witnesses and can goad him into throwing the first punch.

Look at Juicer, he got to give OM a slap but it cost him nearly everything he'd built up.

I told the man that was sniffing around my wife 20 something years ago that I would 'ave him. Would I have gone ahead? 

Don't know, but I never had any trouble with him afterwards.


----------



## WyshIknew

larry.gray said:


> There also can be some selection bias here. If a guy indeed is on the smaller size, he's not going to chime in, is he?


However we have had a couple of posters (the same person with sockpuppets?) who seem to delight in telling people how small they are.


----------



## WyshIknew

Healer said:


> Not me. The second my stbxw spread for another guy, she became nothing to me - a useless, whoring **** who I wouldn't piss on if she were on fire. And the POSOM? How is he worth my time and energy?
> 
> Just because a man doesn't go out and get some sort of revenge and put a bunch of time, energy and whatever else into making the WS and the POSOM pay doesn't mean they are not a real man.
> 
> I showed my cheating wife what I thought about her by filing for divorce and scraping her off my shoe. I wasted no time trying to get any other sort of payback from either of them - because they aren't worth the **** on my shoe.


Excellent, that is the way to do it. Or at least one of the ways.

However there is a hell of a difference between your attitude and OP's attitude.

Op still (to me) carries a lot of resentment and going by OP's description seems to be in a kind of half arsed reconciliation with his wife. Obviously the reality may be different but we only have OP's words to go on.
He either needs to do as you've done and wipe the POS from his mind (and his shoe ) or he needs to get some sort of payback/revenge/closure.

Sitting there stewing about the OM's huge truncheon, obsessing about a 'pathetic loser' and rugsweeping with his wife is not going to do him any good.


----------



## WyshIknew

treyvion said:


> We gotta bunch of 9 inchers in here, porn needs to recruit from TAM.


Not ashamed to say that I am within the average size range.


Can I just say I am upper side of average? :rofl:


----------



## aug

ThePheonix said:


> I think she meant the knife in his back. At any rate, I know what answer I'd give her to the question, "does thes pants make my butt look big?".



Answer: yes, big enough to go in easier


----------



## See_Listen_Love

samdew9 said:


> No, you're correct. I struggle with this daily. I need to at the very least tell the significant others of the women I suspect he has in his sights.


I have been reading all of your posts to form an opinion. It seems to me that you need the discipline of clear thinking. See the ideas of Brian Tracy on the subject.

Your reasoning is a mess, so your choices are a mess. So your actions are the wrong ones, and your results are a mess.

To sum it up....

You display weak behavior and get bad results. Tweak your behavior, and evaluate the results. Repeat. That is what your job is.

And do something about the thinking, get more intelligent, read, listen, think.


----------



## Wideopn Dave

SamDew,

I get where you're at; my ex-wife (my whole story was posted here but I later removed it) had here PA with a 59yr old bloke. She's 41 and I'm 42.....after all the lies and false reconciliation we eventually split in June last year and I was divorced by September 4th last year.

The point is my confidence was absolutely destroyed by what happened. To make it worse, I was given no information when I asked and thus was left to form my own "mind movies" which naturally had me believing that the Karate Kid she was banging must be a legend in the sack. Why? well he's got no money, can't give her the lifestyle she had with me, and she said 80% of our relationship was perfect.....so naturally I assumed the missing 20% was in the sack and it was THAT good with Karate Kid that she was prepared to give up the 80%...

Well, 6months on, I have met and am involved with the most amazing woman. She has made me realise that I was missing out on so much with my ex wife who I THOUGHT I loved immensely. My new love cares so much about ME which is something I never had the privilege of experiencing before.

Now to the relevant part of this "blah blah" session from me; The first time I was intimate with M, I was absolutely crapping myself. I had convinced myself that I was inadequate size wise, ability wise and in every way, I would not be able to satisfy M.

Let me just say this; our intimacy is incredible!! 

As far as size goes buddy, I know I'm not swinging the biggest bat in the dugout but I'm adequate and I satisfy my gal.....she has told me that she never experienced and orgasm during intercourse and i have given her that experience. 

M says I am the best lover she has ever had and that has helped to rebuild a fragile damaged male ego.

In your case, if you can move beyond the hurt of the affair and are prepared to give your wife the benefit of the doubt then believe her when she says that she is satisfied.

If you don't, you are going to open yourself for a world of hurt for evermore and then you seriously need to consider ending your relationship for your own sanity.

It hurts so much I know but each day gets easier if you decide to end the marriage. 

My "life after divorce" is better in many respects however there are still moments when I miss the whole package that was my 23yr relationship (19yrs married) with my ex wife. 

The reality is though, it wasn't real. 

All the best of luck and ffs stop worrying about "wanger" size buddy! If you're average but know what to do with your mind firstly, your tongue and fingers as well as your jonson secondly, you're going to make your lover (whoever the lucky girl may be) a very very happy gal!!


----------



## thummper

Just curious, Sam. You seem intent on R, so please pardon my questions. She has stopped the affair, and I'm wondering why. Seems like she was totally besotted with this guy, and suddenly the affair is over?! She confessed to you that when elephant dong penetrated her it was extremely painful. Did she drop him simply because he was too large to fit comfortably inside her, so now she's come back to you? Excuse me if this has already been addressed, but it just seems odd that she would drop him so quickly. I really don't mean to upset you any more than you already are, and I do hope you two can work it out. I just hope that this won't be a pattern on her part in the future and next time she'll find someone who "fits" better. It's just my evil mind that keeps coming up with thoughts like this.


----------



## treyvion

thummper said:


> Just curious, Sam. You seem intent on R, so please pardon my questions. She has stopped the affair, and I'm wondering why. Seems like she was totally besotted with this guy, and suddenly the affair is over?! She confessed to you that when elephant dong penetrated her it was extremely painful. Did she drop him simply because he was too large to fit comfortably inside her, so now she's come back to you? Excuse me if this has already been addressed, but it just seems odd that she would drop him so quickly. I really don't mean to upset you any more than you already are, and I do hope you two can work it out. I just hope that this won't be a pattern on her part in the future and next time she'll find someone who "fits" better. It's just my evil mind that keeps coming up with thoughts like this.


Exactly, unless there is punishment, remorse and recovery, they have been credited for their bad behavior. You going to have to go through the process.


----------



## WyshIknew

thummper said:


> Just curious, Sam. You seem intent on R, so please pardon my questions. She has stopped the affair, and I'm wondering why. Seems like she was totally besotted with this guy, and suddenly the affair is over?! She confessed to you that when elephant dong penetrated her it was extremely painful. Did she drop him simply because he was too large to fit comfortably inside her, so now she's come back to you? Excuse me if this has already been addressed, but it just seems odd that she would drop him so quickly. I really don't mean to upset you any more than you already are, and I do hope you two can work it out. I just hope that this won't be a pattern on her part in the future and next time she'll find someone who "fits" better. It's just my evil mind that keeps coming up with thoughts like this.


I think from Sam's thread once OM had his fun he dropped her. Plus he has at least temporarily moved away, to me a source of concern as she refused to do a NC letter, perhaps waiting till he gets back?
Plus Sam rattled his cage a bit when speaking to one of the other guys that was betrayed (I think). Response from OM was along the lines of "Samdew crossed the line" :rofl:


----------



## treyvion

WyshIknew said:


> I think from Sam's thread once OM had his fun he dropped her. Plus he has at least temporarily moved away, to me a source of concern as she refused to do a NC letter, perhaps waiting till he gets back?
> Plus Sam rattled his cage a bit when speaking to one of the other guys that was betrayed (I think). Response from OM was along the lines of "Samdew crossed the line" :rofl:


She was still probably thinking her affair was something special. The guy got some free sex at the husbands cost, that's what really happened.


----------



## davecarter

WyshIknew said:


> I think from Sam's thread once OM had his fun he dropped her. Plus he has at least temporarily moved away, to me a source of concern as she refused to do a NC letter, perhaps waiting till he gets back?
> Plus Sam rattled his cage a bit when speaking to one of the other guys that was betrayed (I think). Response from OM was along the lines of "Samdew crossed the line" :rofl:


Good point.
_If_ OM does come back and goes on the prowl for samdew's wife again (any doubts on this one happening?), what will be going through her mind when she realizes OM is interested again?


----------



## weightlifter

WIDE! Good to see you a again dude! If I could like your post twice I would.

>M says I am the best lover she has ever had and that has helped to rebuild a fragile damaged male ego.< 

She is probably rewriting history (They all do) but this is an EPIC point. His new woman is INTO HIM. When she is into him she is attracted. When she is attracted the cooter gets wet easily. When the cooter is really wet you know at the very least she is having a damn good time. When she has a damn good time she O's. When she Os she starts back up to start the cycle of happy sloppy wet sex again.

Sam simple thing. Next time you are with the wife, is she lubricating a lot? That is something that is very difficult to fake. Not all women are capable of a lot of lubricating, but if she is, she has come back to you mentally.

Wide, how about a little update thread. (Sorry OP. end hijack)


----------



## treyvion

weightlifter said:


> WIDE! Good to see you a again dude! If I could like your post twice I would.
> 
> >M says I am the best lover she has ever had and that has helped to rebuild a fragile damaged male ego.<
> 
> She is probably rewriting history (They all do) but this is an EPIC point. His new woman is INTO HIM. When she is into him she is attracted. When she is attracted the cooter gets wet easily. When the cooter is really wet you know at the very least she is having a damn good time. When she has a damn good time she O's. When she Os she starts back up to start the cycle of happy sloppy wet sex again.
> 
> Sam simple thing. Next time you are with the wife, is she lubricating a lot? That is something that is very difficult to fake. Not all women are capable of a lot of lubricating, but if she is, she has come back to you mentally.
> 
> Wide, how about a little update thread. (Sorry OP. end hijack)


Agree with this 100%.

If she is not lubricating highly, then it's a positive sign related to how desireable she thinks the situation is.


----------



## treyvion

Wideopn Dave said:


> SamDew,
> 
> I get where you're at; my ex-wife (my whole story was posted here but I later removed it) had here PA with a 59yr old bloke. She's 41 and I'm 42.....after all the lies and false reconciliation we eventually split in June last year and I was divorced by September 4th last year.
> 
> The point is my confidence was absolutely destroyed by what happened.


You aren't the first. What you will learn is there are structured ways to rebuld your confidence, even build it stronger than it ever was.



Wideopn Dave said:


> To make it worse, I was given no information when I asked and thus was left to form my own "mind movies" which naturally had me believing that the Karate Kid she was banging must be a legend in the sack. Why? well he's got no money, can't give her the lifestyle she had with me, and she said 80% of our relationship was perfect.....so naturally I assumed the missing 20% was in the sack and it was THAT good with Karate Kid that she was prepared to give up the 80%...


 80/20 rule from "Why did I get married" movie, they leave the 80 for the 20, so she got less...



Wideopn Dave said:


> Well, 6months on, I have met and am involved with the most amazing woman. She has made me realise that I was missing out on so much with my ex wife who I THOUGHT I loved immensely. My new love cares so much about ME which is something I never had the privilege of experiencing before.


Has this rebuilt your confidence and security to staggering levels?



Wideopn Dave said:


> Now to the relevant part of this "blah blah" session from me; The first time I was intimate with M, I was absolutely crapping myself. I had convinced myself that I was inadequate size wise, ability wise and in every way, I would not be able to satisfy M.


Many men, even men with large c0cks convince themselves that their c0ck size is not enough. It's doesn't help you one bit. 



Wideopn Dave said:


> Let me just say this; our intimacy is incredible!!


Good luck TAM man.



Wideopn Dave said:


> As far as size goes buddy, I know I'm not swinging the biggest bat in the dugout but I'm adequate and I satisfy my gal.....she has told me that she never experienced and orgasm during intercourse and i have given her that experience.


I'm sure some of the best hitters in baseball aren't swinging the largest bat either, but the best one for the job they are trying to do.


Wideopn Dave said:


> M says I am the best lover she has ever had and that has helped to rebuild a fragile damaged male ego.


Just as the many 100's to 1000's of disrespects, slights, bad attitudes can erode your ego, the 100's to 1000's of kind guestures, selfless acts, love and acts of service can rebuild and restore your ego. Tell us about how much a difference it makes to have a caring partner.



Wideopn Dave said:


> In your case, if you can move beyond the hurt of the affair and are prepared to give your wife the benefit of the doubt then believe her when she says that she is satisfied.
> 
> If you don't, you are going to open yourself for a world of hurt for evermore and then you seriously need to consider ending your relationship for your own sanity.


No joke. The loss of sanity in these situations can seriously mess up your life and get you on the wrong path.



Wideopn Dave said:


> It hurts so much I know but each day gets easier if you decide to end the marriage.
> 
> My "life after divorce" is better in many respects however there are still moments when I miss the whole package that was my 23yr relationship (19yrs married) with my ex wife.
> 
> The reality is though, it wasn't real.
> 
> All the best of luck and ffs stop worrying about "wanger" size buddy! If you're average but know what to do with your mind firstly, your tongue and fingers as well as your jonson secondly, you're going to make your lover (whoever the lucky girl may be) a very very happy gal!!


Please her in everyway possible including her mind.


----------



## nxs450

Machiavelli said:


> Look, I used to be pretty far out on the bell curve in this department, as in "Ouch, you're hurting me" "You're going too deep" "I won't do doggy with you" "slower" etc. Real life is not a porno movie, although a lot of girls really are into size,even when it's kind of painful. Didn't understand that part. Now that I'm average (thanks to prostate cancer surgery) I'm not going to lie, I don't like it. But that's just me missing the girls looking at my crotch. My wife likes the new smaller me, except for the loss of girth. Now I get "Are you in, yet? I don't feel anything."
> 
> Basically, if she can feel you for the first 3 inches, the rest is all in her head.


I don't mean to be nosy, but I didn't know prostate surgery could change the size of you manhood?


----------



## Healer

nxs450 said:


> I don't mean to be nosy, but I didn't know prostate surgery could change the size of you manhood?


I'm guessing it's that it affects the strength of erection - so the flaccid size is the same, but it doesn't get as big/hard after surgery?


----------



## nxs450

Healer said:


> I'm guessing it's that it affects the strength of erection - so the flaccid size is the same, but it doesn't get as big/hard after surgery?


Okay I could see that happening. I didn't know how it could effect actual physical size.


----------



## PreRaphaelite

Adding to this discussion which may already have petered out:

Like it or not, women do talk about men's ****s and sizes. But...a lot of it is just girl talk and means about as much as the latest article in Cosmo.

Two girlfriends of mine in the past talked about penis size to me. One woman was rather insecure, and she told me that her previous boyfriend had a small **** and that he didn't do a very good job satisfying her...but that was also because he just didn't do much in the sack. A little bit of enthusiasm and adventurousness and she probably would have been ok. She liked mine and what I did with it, which wasn't some incredible gyrating action, just a few nice things.

Another woman told me straight up that size makes a difference. She also told me that in her younger days (she was 31), she would only date big black guys--you know the type. Since then she'd realized how silly it was. I was no hung stud, not by a long shot, and she and I had wonderful sex. She had no problem with organism. 

So just from a factual angle, there you go.


----------



## VermisciousKnid

"Petered out"

Is "organism" the nickname she gave to your peter?


----------



## WyshIknew

Well I do hope that Samdew got something from this thread.

He doesn't seem to have posted on it for a while.

There has been some fairly frank discussion about his situation and the importance of penis size.

Hopefully he realises that it was meant to be constructive.


----------



## treyvion

VermisciousKnid said:


> "Petered out"
> 
> Is "organism" the nickname she gave to your peter?


Like a giant Amoeba.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

WyshIknew said:


> Well I do hope that Samdew got something from this thread.
> 
> He doesn't seem to have posted on it for a while.
> 
> There has been some fairly frank discussion about his situation and the importance of penis size.
> 
> Hopefully he realises that it was meant to be constructive.


Honestly I doubt he got much of anything out of it. It devolved into another penis thread. Most posters had the best of intentions, but no one can resist the subtle charms the one eyed monster uses to lure people to talk about it in all of its glory.


----------



## movin on

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Honestly I doubt he got much of anything out of it. It devolved into another penis thread. Most posters had the best of intentions, but no one can resist the subtle charms the one eyed monster uses to lure people to talk about it in all of its glory.


I doubt he got much out of it either. It don't matter because from what I took from his post he was gonna pretty much rugsweep it anyway.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## treyvion

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Honestly I doubt he got much of anything out of it. It devolved into another penis thread. Most posters had the best of intentions, but no one can resist the subtle charms the one eyed monster uses to lure people to talk about it in all of its glory.


I mean we can all stuff our anaconda's back down in our pants. Coil them up like garden hoses and pack them on the preferred thigh. These angry serpents have to be registered with the FBI and sexual intercourse must be preceded by a signed and notarized affidavit. These dangerous tools of hypnotic power...


----------



## theroad

Lordhavok said:


> Have to agree with you on that one


That is the definition for a No Brainer.


----------



## clipclop2

*Re: Re: Kinda embarassing but...penis size*



russell28 said:


> This... sex feels good... if they say 'it hurt' or 'didn't feel good', that's a line of crap....


That is a line of crap? 

I've had sex with my average size husband and experienced pain under some circumstances. If he had been really big I probably would have ended up in tears.

I'm not sayimg this to make the OP feel better. See my posts on penis size. I'm saying it because it is true amdwhat you post is an opinion and conjecture. You have no basis to call her a liar.


----------



## treyvion

clipclop2 said:


> That is a line of crap?
> 
> I've had sex with my average size husband and experienced pain under some circumstances. If he had been really big I probably would have ended up in tears.
> 
> I'm not sayimg this to make the OP feel better. See my posts on penis size. I'm saying it because it is true amdwhat you post is an opinion and conjecture. You have no basis to call her a liar.


Some don't lube up or get as excited for a smaller one, so it hurts. Women say it hurts than a bigger one. But then again, on some women the bigger ones are touching really sensitive bits and hurting like holy hell, and the c0ck wielder doesn't believe her, and she as a result loses interest in sex cause it hurts.


----------



## clipclop2

That first sentence stands for any penis size. Iti sthe guy. 

All sizes can cause pain. 

The poster is feeling insecure. Size matters but since he is average it isn't isue

This is a guy thing, not a woman thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ThePheonix

I agree CC. Its the guys that want to make a big thing out of it.


----------



## clipclop2

It hurts me just thinking about it.


----------



## PreRaphaelite

VermisciousKnid said:


> "Petered out"
> 
> Is "organism" the nickname she gave to your peter?


It's that damn spelling corrector wanting to turn our orgasms into organisms.


----------



## weightlifter

I HATE autocorrect on phones and Ipads.


----------



## davecarter

WyshIknew said:


> Well I do hope that Samdew got something from this thread.
> 
> He doesn't seem to have posted on it for a while.
> 
> There has been some fairly frank discussion about his situation and the importance of penis size.
> 
> Hopefully he realises that it was meant to be constructive.


He's gone by the looks of things.
Why do some posters just leave when the advice given gets too near-the-knuckle? :scratchhead:


----------



## thummper

Well, I just hope he can get past the mental images of some well-endowed a-hole plowing his wife. That's going to be the hard part. (And NO, that wasn't meant to be a pun. I'm not that clever.) It's NOT the size of the machine, it's the feelings of love between the partners that makes sex so wonderful and keeps the closeness alive. I don't understand why so many people get hung up on size.


----------



## Shazz1991

They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes (and I've tried a few in my past). Doesn't make them better or worse. It what you do with it (and with your fingers and your tongue) that counts!


----------



## WyshIknew

Shazz1991 said:


> They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes (and I've tried a few in my past). Doesn't make them better or worse. It what you do with it (and with your fingers and your tongue) that counts!


True, but if your wife has just committed adultery with King Dong and tells you how large he was, that would affect the thinking of many men, not all but I think quite a few.


----------



## ThePheonix

She should only be able to do it twice. The first time and the last time.


----------



## treyvion

WyshIknew said:


> True, but if your wife has just committed adultery with King Dong and tells you how large he was, that would affect the thinking of many men, not all but I think quite a few.


It would take the fire out of many a husband, and maybe even kill his c0ck with her.


----------



## arbitrator

WyshIknew said:


> True, but if your wife has just committed adultery with King Dong and tells you how large he was, that would affect the thinking of many men, not all but I think quite a few.


*Quite frankly, my XW's adulterous BF's may, in reality, have been aptly described as either a "Long Dong Silver" or "Wee Willie Winkie!" I couldn't care in the least!

But that would be grossly irrelevant inasfar as my feelings are concerned! "Adultery is adultery" and "deception is deception." Therein lies my case!

And neither, IMHO, is anywhere close to being deemed acceptable within the confines of a married relationship! Call it jaded if you will, but where the OM has "parked his porpoise," regardless of it's physical attributes; Well, let's just say that I have absolutely no burning desire to ever want to go there anymore!*


----------



## thummper

arbitrator said:


> [
> And neither, IMHO, is acceptable within the confines of a married relationship! *Call it jaded if you will, but where the OM has "parked his porpoise," well let's just say that I have absolutely no burning desire to want to go there anymore![/*COLOR][/B]


Oooooooo, good one, Arbitrator! :smthumbup: I think a lot of guys would feel that way, I know that I certainly would. At that point sex with my wife would be a thing of the past, soon to be only a distant memory.


----------



## arbitrator

WyshIknew said:


> True, but if your wife has just committed adultery with King Dong and tells you how large he was, *that would effect the thinking of many men,* not all but I think quite a few.


*Wysh: Let's just say that other than for a fleeting but extremely select number of the cuckold element H's, it would, no doubt, effect the overwhelming majority of all married men!*


----------



## PieceOfSky

I'm late to the thread, and have 300 posts to catch up. Here are my thoughts, at the risk of being off topic by now:



OP,



It sucks. I have had similar feelings of inadequacy. Somewhere between our first few dates and her "long-planned" vacation with her "ex" BF, she let it slip (in a "joke") this "ex" was huge.



It had bothered me for 20 years. I had already self doubts, was very very much a virgin at the time. But, beyond those feelings, I have always suspected it was a weird sort of unconscious control/distancing move by her.



In my mid forties, I no longer worry about size with respect to her. Maybe it is because our sex life is almost dead and buried. I like to think I am fairly confident I am just fine for the type of woman I would want to be with, and have much to offer someone who would love me in return. Maybe I'll find out someday, maybe not.



Probably unfortunate she is the only one I have been with (barring one brief drunken activity/incident). More feedback might have been a boost (or not).



Sometimes I wonder if anxiety about other parts of a relationship sort of get latched to the size inadequacy fears, and the size inadequacy fears feel heavier than they really are. That is, other unaccepted/unacknowledged worries masquerade.



In any case, I'm sure you are more worthy a partner and lover than you feel and know. Infidelity is such a mind f'k. It's not you. It is what has been done to you, which you surely didn't deserve. Big difference.


----------



## love=pain

Had to post this analogy:

I can shoot a basketball pretty well but I am not tall enough to dunk, can I score as many points as the big guy who dunks sure
I can but I will never know the feeling of dunking, while he can shoot from where I can all day. In other words he can do things on the court that I can't, even if I am a better player than he is his size still gives him that ability.
Don't understand? How's this
No matter what she says how do I know how much different it felt for her and if he could hit spots that I never can while I truly don't want play by play details I am still left wondering. Most cheaters continue the relationship after the first sexual encounter (unless they are caught of course) so the sex couldn't be that bad, something kept them coming back for more.

As the man said it may not be the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean but it takes a lot longer to get to England in a row boat than a cruise ship.


----------



## just got it 55

I want to add a _small measure _of levity

My wife asked me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt

So I fvcked her twice and slapped her


----------



## Jellybeans

samdew9 said:


> But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine. She told me that was why it was awful, that it hurt a lot when he put it inside of her and that (and the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed. But now I am still very insecure about it and have that feeling of "if it was only a little bit bigger" I know that my wife is satisfied when we have sex because I can feel it. But I fall out every so often and think about how small mine is. I also can't seem to shake the thought of him shoving his giant dong into her. Mine was the only one that she ever saw until his.


This isn't about the size of your wang. That is not the issue here. Know that.

What if she told you he was smaller? Then how would you feel?

You would still feel bad but in a different way -- _Oh man, small d!ck guy was able to satisfy my wife but not me._ See? No matter what, it's a lose-lose situation thinking about if he was bigger/faster/stronger/weaker/smaller-wee-wee'd than you.


----------



## just got it 55

Well I am just an average size guy and my wife and I have had that convo

She says as well it's not the size it's how you use it

But I have been her only one

So how would she know ?


----------



## WyshIknew

Jellybeans said:


> This isn't about the size of your wang. That is not the issue here. Know that.
> 
> What if she told you he was smaller/ Then ow would you feel?
> 
> You would still feel bad but in a different way -- oh man, small d!ck guy was able to satisfy my wife but not me." See? No matter what, it's a lose-lose situation thinking about if he was bigger/faster/stronger/weaker/smaller-wee-wee'd t han you.


:iagree:


Plus (the way I look at it), depending on your belief system, the penis and the vagina either evolved together or were created at the same time. So it stands to reason that they are both going to be the correct average size for each other. So the correct average size should bring the most pleasure for both of them.


----------



## Jellybeans

just got it 55 said:


> Well I am just an average size guy and my wife and I have had that convo
> 
> She says as well it's not the size it's how you use it
> 
> But I have been her only one
> 
> So how would she know ?


She is trying to placate you if she has not had any other lovers. Not saying that against you or for you, just saying, that is the standard response women give men. Since she has nothing to compare it to, she is obviously just saying that to appease you and because she doesn't want you to feel anxious/bad. Not that you would or should feel bad.
She says it lovingly, if that makes sense.

It's like asking a rhetorical question.

"Does my a%% look fat in this?" Always say NO. Auto-response.


----------



## arbitrator

just got it 55 said:


> I want to add a _small measure _of levity
> 
> My wife asked me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt
> 
> So I fvcked her twice and slapped her


*55: Now if you were to apply that very same criteria to me, I do believe that I would end up having to perform intercourse with her some 24 times!*


----------



## treyvion

WyshIknew said:


> :iagree:
> 
> 
> Plus (the way I look at it), depending on your belief system, the penis and the vagina either evolved together or were created at the same time. So it stands to reason that they are both going to be the correct average size for each other. So the correct average size should bring the most pleasure for both of them.


Yes, if god and nature meant for the average penis size to be much larger than it is, it would have been through natural selection. So be happy what you have and learn to use it better. The most powerful sexual organ is the human mind. Use it.


----------



## WyshIknew

just got it 55 said:


> Well I am just an average size guy and my wife and I have had that convo
> 
> She says as well it's not the size it's how you use it
> 
> But I have been her only one
> 
> So how would she know ?


We're the other way round. She was very experienced I was not.

Yes, had the conversation, she won't say whether I'm the biggest as it is "not important" but I am apparently plenty big enough.

Plus I am (according to her) the only man who ever made our combined pleasure important.

I suppose that is the only downside, I have no frame of reference.


----------



## just got it 55

Jellybeans said:


> She is trying to placate you if she has not had any other lovers. Not saying that against you or for you, just saying, that is the standard response women give men. Since she has nothing to compare it to, she is obviously just saying that to appease you and because she doesn't want you to feel anxious/bad. Not that you would or should feel bad.
> She says it lovingly, if that makes sense.
> 
> It's like asking a rhetorical question.
> 
> "Does my a%% look fat in this?" Always say NO. Auto-response.


All must be well cause I can put a twinkle in her eye that lights up the neighborhood :smthumbup::lol::smthumbup::lol:


----------



## treyvion

just got it 55 said:


> All must be well cause I can put a twinkle in her eye that lights up the neighborhood :smthumbup::lol::smthumbup::lol:


Must be working with a hell of a rod


----------



## just got it 55

treyvion said:


> Must be working with a hell of a rod


Some guys can paint


----------



## davecarter

In an affair, the psychological problem a BH has to deal with is when your wife tells you a) the OM is bigger but b) _also_ knows how to use it and c) is overall great in bed.


----------



## treyvion

just got it 55 said:


> Some guys can paint


I was laying out the "magic stick" before I ever heard the song.


----------



## learning to love myself

treyvion said:


> Damn, thats alot of sex.


I'm not going to lie, I very happy about the frequency. My husband has actually told me he cant keep up the pace forever. I'm hoping that changes as I have felt like I'm in my prime for over 10 years now.


----------



## treyvion

learning to love myself said:


> I'm not going to lie, I very happy about the frequency. My husband has actually told me he cant keep up the pace forever. I'm hoping that changes as I have felt like I'm in my prime for over 10 years now.


I hope that changes for you too.


----------



## WyshIknew

learning to love myself said:


> I'm not going to lie, I very happy about the frequency. My husband has actually told me he cant keep up the pace forever. I'm hoping that changes as I have felt like I'm in my prime for over 10 years now.


Well he likely will slow down.

At my age I would struggle with twice a day every day.

Don't know if it is age or fitness.


----------



## movin on

You still here samdew ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## kristin2349

just got it 55 said:


> Well I am just an average size guy and my wife and I have had that convo
> 
> She says as well it's not the size it's how you use it
> 
> But I have been her only one
> 
> So how would she know ?



Umm, she heard it on Oprah, read it in Cosmo...good question.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

love=pain said:


> Had to post this analogy:
> 
> I can shoot a basketball pretty well but I am not tall enough to dunk, can I score as many points as the big guy who dunks sure
> I can but I will never know the feeling of dunking, while he can shoot from where I can all day. In other words he can do things on the court that I can't, even if I am a better player than he is his size still gives him that ability.
> Don't understand? How's this
> No matter what she says how do I know how much different it felt for her and if he could hit spots that I never can while I truly don't want play by play details I am still left wondering. Most cheaters continue the relationship after the first sexual encounter (unless they are caught of course) so the sex couldn't be that bad, something kept them coming back for more.
> 
> As the man said it may not be the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean but it takes a lot longer to get to England in a row boat than a cruise ship.



that is just one of the reasons why I mention, in several threads, that the only male reaction to a wife's PA - the only reaction I can truly understand - is one where the BH immediately goes to work slicing up the self-concept of the WW just as sure as she has sliced up his. That is in ADDITION to the process of filing for divorce, which can proceed in parallel. Making the "w word" or the "s word" be her first name for the rest of your marriage, as short or as long as that may be. I.e. I see the correct response as rage and hatred........evolving into a more manageable indifference over time.

this is not meant as a judgement on any BH has not reacted like this. it is simply meant as an assertion that that is the reaction that the WW has earned......and it is one I think I would pay in full. 

(and yes the WH earns it as well and the BW has just as much right to pay it to him)


----------



## russell28

love=pain said:


> Had to post this analogy:
> 
> I can shoot a basketball pretty well but I am not tall enough to dunk, can I score as many points as the big guy who dunks sure
> I can but I will never know the feeling of dunking, while he can shoot from where I can all day. In other words he can do things on the court that I can't, even if I am a better player than he is his size still gives him that ability.
> Don't understand? How's this
> No matter what she says how do I know how much different it felt for her and if he could hit spots that I never can while I truly don't want play by play details I am still left wondering. Most cheaters continue the relationship after the first sexual encounter (unless they are caught of course) so the sex couldn't be that bad, something kept them coming back for more.
> 
> As the man said it may not be the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean but it takes a lot longer to get to England in a row boat than a cruise ship.


Sex is never bad.. it's sex...

Spud Webb says you're wrong about the short guys not being able to dunk, sometimes the big guy is too slow to get to the hole, and can't slam it all the way through because he's awkward.. He only gets the ball half way in, and can't enjoy the score because it just never gets all the way in the hoop. Meanwhile, it hurts the hoop like hell... the hoop is like "ouch, that ball hurts.." if it's a little hoop, and not one that's been stretched out by Wilt Chamberlain...


----------



## just got it 55

russell28 said:


> Sex is never bad.. it's sex...
> 
> Spud Webb says you're wrong about the short guys not being able to dunk, sometimes the big guy is too slow to get to the hole, and can't slam it all the way through because he's awkward.. He only gets the ball half way in, and can't enjoy the score because it just never gets all the way in the hoop. Meanwhile, it hurts the hoop like hell... the hoop is like "ouch, that ball hurts.." if it's a little hoop, and not one that's been stretched out by Wilt Chamberlain...


Yeah But ... but Wilt had 10,000 Women


----------



## clipclop2

I think having guys say things like "plow your wife" does more damage.

Why must men describe sex in such vulgar terms when another man is struggling with reconciling with his wife? Would you say something like that if it were your sister who cheated?

Men don't like women shameing them. So why do men shame other men this way?


----------



## clipclop2

*Re: Re: Kinda embarassing but...penis size*



nuclearnightmare said:


> that is just one of the reasons why I mention, in several threads, that the only male reaction to a wife's PA - the only reaction I can truly understand - is one where the BH immediately goes to work slicing up the self-concept of the WW just as sure as she has sliced up his.


in your heart of hearts do you really believe that your understanding will actually make betrayed spouse feel better? I'm not sure how behaving in a way that ultimately will make you feel ashamed of yourself can improve the situation. if name calling doesn't slip out now and again I'd be really surprised but going on a destructive path of name calling to try to level the playing field only brings you down farther.

the biggest problem with the situation is that what you think you know about yourself and what you think you understand completely goes out the window when you find yourself there.


----------



## love=pain

russell28 said:


> Sex is never bad.. it's sex...
> 
> Spud Webb says you're wrong about the short guys not being able to dunk, sometimes the big guy is too slow to get to the hole, and can't slam it all the way through because he's awkward.. He only gets the ball half way in, and can't enjoy the score because it just never gets all the way in the hoop. Meanwhile, it hurts the hoop like hell... the hoop is like "ouch, that ball hurts.." if it's a little hoop, and not one that's been stretched out by Wilt Chamberlain...


Forgot about o'spud he could do some amazing things for his height, my analogy falls apart when you bring him into the picture. 
Still doesn't change anything a better endowed man has a well more to work with, there are just as many small to average guys who don't know how to use what they have like a bigger guy, so the experience with someone with less savvy no matter the size can be disappointing (of course the bigger guy can cause pain further ruining the experience)
It goes back to the perception that a better endowed man can or did things to your SO that you can't, blame it on our society that everything bigger is usually better, porn or what ever else but IMO many BH have had the was he bigger discussion with their WW or have least thought about it.
Women's parts come in different sizes too but I haven't read anything about a BW asking if the OW was tighter than she was down there, maybe younger prettier bigger boobs but nothing directly about the female sex organ.
Men seem to be the only ones affected by the size issue probably because the penis is so directly involved in the sex act and a benchmark of male virility (either real or imagined)


----------



## russell28

love=pain said:


> Forgot about o'spud he could do some amazing things for his height, my analogy falls apart when you bring him into the picture.
> Still doesn't change anything a better endowed man has a well more to work with, there are just as many small to average guys who don't know how to use what they have like a bigger guy, so the experience with someone with less savvy no matter the size can be disappointing (of course the bigger guy can cause pain further ruining the experience)
> It goes back to the perception that a better endowed man can or did things to your SO that you can't, blame it on our society that everything bigger is usually better, porn or what ever else but IMO many BH have had the was he bigger discussion with their WW or have least thought about it.
> Women's parts come in different sizes too but I haven't read anything about a BW asking if the OW was tighter than she was down there, maybe younger prettier bigger boobs but nothing directly about the female sex organ.
> Men seem to be the only ones affected by the size issue probably because the penis is so directly involved in the sex act and a benchmark of male virility (either real or imagined)


I thought success (paycheck) was the benchmark... Lets use Derek Jeter as an example, since you like sports.. and lets say he has a tiny little bat and only hits for singles, not much power.. He's still a hit with the ladies.

We need to get some football stuff going, they have cool positions like tight end I can use...


----------



## treyvion

russell28 said:


> I thought success (paycheck) was the benchmark... Lets use Derek Jeter as an example, since you like sports.. and lets say he has a tiny little bat and only hits for singles, not much power.. He's still a hit with the ladies.
> 
> We need to get some football stuff going, they have cool positions like tight end I can use...


It doesn't matter whether penis size is a real or imagined gain or reduction to a males confidence. The truth of the matter in most males it can be a direct deflation or inflation of the ego.

C0ck size is not the most important sexual attribute as the most powerful sexual organ is the human mind.

If you are too small or too big for traditional intercourse there will be problems.

A bigger c0ck has an eye candy aspect and excitement factor to women who like to see them, it's kinda like large and perfect breasts on a woman to a male who likes to see large breasts.

Some men don't like large breasts...


----------



## treyvion

just got it 55 said:


> Yeah But ... but Wilt had 10,000 Women


I thought wilt's number was 20,000.

I computed this number when I thought it was bulls...

It computed to 3 consumations per day over a 20 year period of time. For a high celebrity or athelete that is within the realm of possibility.

There is a story of Scottie Pippen from the Chicago bulls in a night club.

Left with a round of babes, did his deed, came back an hour later. He grabbed another few, did his deed, came back an hour later. And then he did it again to finish the night out.

That's 3 times. They are propositioned to the entire day, from the time they step foot out the door until they come inside. Plus women are actively chasing them.

I watched a Dallas cowboy play a game between competing women. He was lining up his next sexual engagment. He had 5 women he was multithreading texts with. He had narrowed it down to two yes. So on the way to the other, he told the other one that he couldn't make it.

The women revolve around them, not the other way around.


----------



## love=pain

russell28 said:


> I thought success (paycheck) was the benchmark... Lets use Derek Jeter as an example, since you like sports.. and lets say he has a tiny little bat and only hits for singles, not much power.. He's still a hit with the ladies.
> 
> We need to get some football stuff going, they have cool positions like tight end I can use...


Success(money) is a benchmark used (not a very good one either) just like the size of your tackle.
Let me give you the perfect man response
"A man should never be judged on how much money he makes or any physical attributes but on his success as a husband a father and positive contributions as a member of society"
Bullsh1t
The world is all about money,power and sex, the values and respect we had for others is long gone replaced by give me more everything is mine if I want it no matter who owns it and what I have to do to get it.
Then again the world has always been about those things we just did a better job at being civil with each other while we were trying to get them then we are today.
You know I had a soap box around here someplace.


----------



## davecarter

love=pain said:


> Forgot about o'spud he could do some amazing things for his height, my analogy falls apart when you bring him into the picture.
> Still doesn't change anything a better endowed man has a well more to work with, there are just as many small to average guys who don't know how to use what they have like a bigger guy, so the experience with someone with less savvy no matter the size can be disappointing (of course the bigger guy can cause pain further ruining the experience)
> It goes back to the perception that a better endowed man can or did things to your SO that you can't, blame it on our society that everything bigger is usually better, porn or what ever else but IMO many BH have had the was he bigger discussion with their WW or have least thought about it.
> Women's parts come in different sizes too but I haven't read anything about a BW asking if the OW was tighter than she was down there, maybe younger prettier bigger boobs but nothing directly about the female sex organ.
> Men seem to be the only ones affected by the size issue probably because the penis is so directly involved in the sex act and a benchmark of male virility (either real or imagined)


Pretty good post, really.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

clipclop2 said:


> in your heart of hearts do you really believe that your understanding will actually make betrayed spouse feel better? I'm not sure how behaving in a way that ultimately will make you feel ashamed of yourself can improve the situation. if name calling doesn't slip out now and again I'd be really surprised but going on a destructive path of name calling to try to level the playing field only brings you down farther.
> 
> the biggest problem with the situation is that what you think you know about yourself and what you think you understand completely goes out the window when you find yourself there.


how do you express contempt for someone? there may be better ways than what I describe above, sure. My main point is that contempt is the right attitude to take toward the person that cheated on you. it is that kind of feeling that will drive you away from them, which I think is where the BS should want to be.....away from them. I think this is especially true for a husband that is cheated on.
My view (which I try to be careful as presenting as "my view".....though perhaps I don't always succeed) is that the so-called "R" is usually nothing more than the BS remaining in a state of sadness, pain and humiliation indefinitely. Most of the stories I see on here (certaionly most of the stories involving a WW and BH) demonstrate that.


----------



## clipclop2

I don't believe R is generally worthwhile pursuing. 

However, if someone wants to try, cutting them down adds your insult to their injury.

Apparently R can succeed. 

And since most people try to some extent, help them with what they are asking about if it makes sense.

Nothing this guy said made me think he should stop trying to work through his block.

It isn't your block, remember. It is his.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

clipclop2 said:


> I don't believe R is generally worthwhile pursuing.
> 
> However, if someone wants to try, cutting them down adds your insult to their injury.
> 
> Apparently R can succeed.
> 
> And since most people try to some extent, help them with what they are asking about if it makes sense.
> 
> Nothing this guy said made me think he should stop trying to work through his block.
> 
> It isn't your block, remember. It is his.


Not trying to be confrontational.....but getting a little confused..what person or poster was I cutting down??
In terms of the guy working through his block, which guy, the OP of this thread?


----------



## Sandfly

I dunno if this helps anyone, but I like my penis. I won't go into numbers, but it's pretty good. 

Here is a song about it.

The Penis Song - Monty Pythons - YouTube

We can have a good ol-fashion sing-along.


"Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?....

etc. "


----------



## PieceOfSky

Sandfly said:


> I dunno if this helps anyone, but I like my penis. I won't go into numbers, but it's pretty good.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Here is a song about it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The Penis Song - Monty Pythons - YouTube
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> We can have a good ol-fashion sing-along.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
> 
> 
> Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> etc. "







Thanks! That was quite helpful... Never occurred to me to wrap it up in ribbons.


----------



## WyshIknew

treyvion said:


> I thought wilt's number was 20,000.
> 
> I computed this number when I thought it was bulls...
> 
> It computed to 3 consumations per day over a 20 year period of time. For a high celebrity or athelete that is within the realm of possibility.
> 
> There is a story of Scottie Pippen from the Chicago bulls in a night club.
> 
> Left with a round of babes, did his deed, came back an hour later. He grabbed another few, did his deed, came back an hour later. And then he did it again to finish the night out.
> 
> That's 3 times. They are propositioned to the entire day, from the time they step foot out the door until they come inside. Plus women are actively chasing them.
> 
> I watched a Dallas cowboy play a game between competing women. He was lining up his next sexual engagment. He had 5 women he was multithreading texts with. He had narrowed it down to two yes. So on the way to the other, he told the other one that he couldn't make it.
> 
> The women revolve around them, not the other way around.


They don't get it all their own way. I wonder if they are still attracting women when they are down and out, on drugs and living in a trailer or bedsit?


In 2009, Sports Illustrated reported that nearly 80 percent of NFL players are in financial trouble because of joblessness or divorce within two years of their retirement. Within five years of retirement, an estimated 80% of former NBA players are broke and numerous retired Major League Baseball players have been similarly ruined. 




The list of former American athletes suffering from financial problems is stellar: running back Jamal Lewis (debts of $10.6 million – filed for bankruptcy), Superbowl champion, quarterback terror and perennial pro-bowler, Warren Sapp (debts of $6.7 million – filed for bankruptcy) and Basketball star Dennis Rodman to name but a few.

Some young athletes will get married at a young age and appear very sensible and stable, something that is encouraged by a number of clubs. However, care mustbe taken here too. 

Various reports suggest that the divorce rate for professional athletes ranges from 60% to 80%. In divorce proceedings, husbands can routinely expect to lose roughly half of their net worth. But for athletes there is an aggravating factor: the timing of the divorce. Most splits occur in retirement, when the player's peak earnings period is long over and making a comparable living is virtually impossible. Such timing is no accident.

Must be an awful shock when they become ordinary Joes again.


----------



## davecarter

nuclearnightmare said:


> Not trying to be confrontational.....but getting a little confused..what person or poster was I cutting down??
> In terms of the guy working through his block, which guy, the OP of this thread?


Yeah, *samdew *- who has since _'left the building'.
_


----------



## adriana

davecarter said:


> Yeah, *samdew *- who has since _'left the building'.
> _



Considering that it was such a BIG ISSUE for him, he's probably a member of some penis enlargement forum now. Man's ego is so fragile.


----------



## treyvion

adriana said:


> Considering that it was such a BIG ISSUE for him, he's probably a member of some penis enlargement forum now.


C0ck size insecurity is something on the back of the mind of many men, even ones who are well above the average size.

I was just curious how the women can scoff at "penis enlargement", even if it is not really possible, when it's ok to consider implants and hormones for the breasts?

What about makeup and clothing overstating your actual beauty?


----------



## Sandfly

adriana said:


> Considering that it was such a BIG ISSUE for him, he's probably a member of some penis enlargement forum now. *Man's ego is so fragile*.


_Boy's _egos are fragile, men's are indestructible.

Sounds good that. That showed _her_.


----------



## 3putt

I thought this _was_ the penis enlargement forum? And judging by the comments on this thread I would say a highly successful one at that.


----------



## indiecat

The best lovers are average size, they don't take it for granted that their 'size' is a big deal, so they are way more considerate and thorough lovers. 

The average vagina is 3 to 5 inches deep. Do the math!


----------



## clipclop2

Guys are the creators of the size issue. Then they consume porn which only makes insecurity worse.

Nobody's ego is indestructible. When someone gets hit in a place they had always had confidence, they are shaken. 

How they proceed from there is the difference.

Men are so loopy. The laws and rules are part of the problem. You try to conform to an ideal that doesn't exist and fail to cut yourselves some slack.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## treyvion

clipclop2 said:


> Guys are the creators of the size issue. Then they consume porn which only makes insecurity worse.
> 
> Nobody's ego is indestructible. When someone gets hit in a place they had always had confidence, they are shaken.
> 
> How they proceed from there is the difference.
> 
> Men are so loopy. The laws and rules are part of the problem. You try to conform to an ideal that doesn't exist and fail to cut yourselves some slack.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Right. No one's ego's are indestructable, even high people in society can be shaken and brought all the way down.

With women teasing male ego's and taking direct hits at places that would be considered mean to do to a female... Do you ever consider that females have ego's too?

That they can be shaken just as badly or even worse than men if you attack it?


----------



## Sandfly

treyvion said:


> Right. No one's ego's are indestructable, even high people in society can be shaken and brought all the way down.
> 
> With women teasing male ego's and taking direct hits at places that would be considered mean to do to a female... Do you ever consider that females have ego's too?
> 
> That they can be shaken just as badly or even worse than men if you attack it?


Women are much more fragile. You only need say one thing that hits home and they can internalise it.

It doesn't even have to be true, it can even be the opposite of the truth. You tell a skinny girl that she's fat, a pretty girl that she's got a huge nose and she'll self destruct.

It just has to be something that she's already paranoid about.


----------



## ThePheonix

The phrase TAM member seems to have taken on a new meaning. And although there have been some quite penetrating arguments on size, men are just going to have follow the path Anthony Weiner's been on; stick it out with what they have. Samdew's problem is to learn how to let the little things count more and quit thinking he has to fill the gap between what he has and what someone else can offer. 
They only thing else I can add is that I hope the evidence to support the inordinate number of above average equipment claims remains suggestive .


----------



## treyvion

Sandfly said:


> Women are much more fragile. You only need say one thing that hits home and they can internalise it.
> 
> It doesn't even have to be true, it can even be the opposite of the truth. You tell a skinny girl that she's fat, a pretty girl that she's got a huge nose and she'll self destruct.
> 
> It just has to be something that she's already paranoid about.


Your right.

Point out an imperfection, be condenscending towards her boobs, like you said if she's skinny call her fat, or if she's fat call her fat. Call her stupid, slow. Tell her, her sexual organs are too loose, she's not good in the bed. Criticize every little thing they do so they do nothing right.

That would diminish a great many of them. My belief is when they attack the "male ego" it's not accidental in a large percentage of the cases.

My question is how can it be justified, when if someone does it to them, they are insisitive, mean, not a real man, etc?


----------



## Sandfly

treyvion said:


> Your right.
> 
> Point out an imperfection, be condenscending towards her boobs, like you said if she's skinny call her fat, or if she's fat call her fat. Call her stupid, slow. Tell her, her sexual organs are too loose, she's not good in the bed. Criticize every little thing they do so they do nothing right.
> 
> That would diminish a great many of them. My belief is *when they attack the "male ego" it's not accidental in a large percentage of the cases*.
> 
> My question is how can it be justified, when if someone does it to them, they are insisitive, mean, not a real man, etc?


THIS!

I love it when a person tries to 'get' at my ego... I can't help laughing because they reek of insecurity. They don't realise, that whoever they are, I sympathise with their own struggle. None of us asked to be born, right?


----------



## warlock07

adriana said:


> Considering that it was such a BIG ISSUE for him, he's probably a member of some penis enlargement forum now. Man's ego is so fragile.


What size are you ? 

Are you one those fat ones that shouting around "real woman have curves" ??


See, making a stupid sexist statements are easy...


----------



## Sandfly

warlock07 said:


> What size are you ?
> 
> Are you one those fat ones that shouting around "real woman have curves" ??
> 
> 
> See, making a stupid sexist statements are easy...


You just fell into the trap dude 

She didn't mean anything by it, she was just expressing one of her own anxieties in a round-about way. Which is OK.


----------



## warlock07

I just found it incredibly annoying..It wasn't just a general statement about men and their infatuation with their penis size(which can be true).

The poor guy posted about his insecurity and she is making fun of him about being a member on a penis enlargement forum..


----------



## Sandfly

warlock07 said:


> I just found it incredibly annoying..It wasn't just a general statement about men and their infatuation with their penis size(which can be true).
> 
> The poor guy posted about his insecurity and she is making fun of him about being a member on a penis enlargement forum..


Oh, I see what you mean now. 

But you know what she was really saying? 

"Here is yet another thread where the OP has posted, gotten a ton of replies, and then abandoned it, no updates.

That annoys me. It happens too often. I'm going to have a go at him for annoying me, just in case he's still lurking..."

It probably tied into some other issues not related to TAM, such as the OP reminding her of an awkward conversation she once had to endure... you never know. 

If anything ever seems "random" then the connection is there, it's just something less obvious. This applies to science, food preferences, crime scenes, the music we like ... every apparently random element has causes.


----------



## treyvion

Sandfly said:


> THIS!
> 
> I love it when a person tries to 'get' at my ego... I can't help laughing because they reek of insecurity. They don't realise, that whoever they are, I sympathise with their own struggle. None of us asked to be born, right?


When you understand the monster you can circumvent it. It's obviously done to make you think less of yourself. And you understand this clearly...


----------



## treyvion

warlock07 said:


> What size are you ?
> 
> Are you one those fat ones that shouting around "real woman have curves" ??
> 
> 
> See, making a stupid sexist statements are easy...


She's a tight hardbody. So I'm not so sure.


----------



## PieceOfSky

I liked this thread better when we were all singing that song.



Anyone know if Walmart carries ribbon? Perhaps with a lacy sort of look?


----------



## PieceOfSky

treyvion said:


> She's a tight hardbody. So I'm not so sure.




Nothing is like it appears on the internet, unless it is. Hard to judge even the sex of the profile owner when there is not much history attached to it.


----------



## treyvion

PieceOfSky said:


> Nothing is like it appears on the internet, unless it is. Hard to judge even the sex of the profile owner when there is not much history attached to it.


Could be though, and also could be a ball busting battleaxe who only a fool would shackle themself to.


----------



## Sandfly

PieceOfSky said:


> I liked this thread better when we were all singing that song.
> 
> Anyone know if Walmart carries ribbon? Perhaps with a lacy sort of look?


Point taken. Let's get back to positivity!

You can get a better selection of ribbons at a haberdashery/wool-shop. And they are cheaper, because cut to length, and bought wholesale by the shop-owner.


----------



## treyvion

Sandfly said:


> Point taken. Let's get back to positivity!
> 
> You can get a better selection of ribbons at a haberdashery/wool-shop. And they are cheaper, because cut to length, and bought wholesale by the shop-owner.


Yay to positivity!


----------



## clipclop2

Time to lock this one.

I hope the OP has found better help than this place.


----------



## PieceOfSky

clipclop2 said:


> Time to lock this one.
> 
> I hope the OP has found better help than this place.







I don't think it was all bad. And I hope he found what he needed.


----------



## Nsweet

warlock07 said:


> I just found it incredibly annoying..It wasn't just a general statement about men and their infatuation with their penis size(which can be true).
> 
> The poor guy posted about his insecurity and she is making fun of him about being a member on a penis enlargement forum..


Some women are just cruel and sexist... You'd think other members of a marriage site dealing with cheating of their own would be a little more sensitive, but no. Trolls will troll everywhere.

Let her talk sh!t about me. Hell I invite her. I'm a member of three penis enlargement sites, with 12 years of experience there, and extremely impressing gains. I get a lot of respect for the information I pass on to other. I'm not hung up on my penis like a lot of men are. I post more in those places about how of little importance being the bigger man is. Mostly I just lurk or crack a few jokes. 

It's probably been said on here but I'll tell it again. I have to repeat this at least 2 or 3 times on the PE forum. The ex OM's or ex's bf's supposed massive penis is never as big as they think it was, and them telling you about it is just to get to you. I've heard every instance of the "ex was bigger" story and it's always the same core issue... Your woman tells you this either not thinking, because you pestered her for answers and she tells you, or to deliberately hurt you. You get your answer and can't see she's not with them, she's with you.

I'm telling you guys, I real at least a dozen of these stories a month and the guys always tie so much significance to that one factor, and with it their own sexual identity, that it eats away at their self confidence. Some even get it so bad that they get psychological disorders leading to erectile dysfunction, or they try to do too much and seriously hurt themselves for a while. And all because they believed that one line of bullsh!t and took it as a challenge to try and be better than the other guy.


----------



## clipclop2

If a man isn't lazy and selfish in bed and if he can manage a little creativity or surprises now and again, his perfectly average penis is going to make most women happy. 

Not all. 

But most.

The OP's wife didn't leave him. She wants to have sex with him. It is a good sign.

Penis enlargement isn't the issue and it seems starting a thread on that would be better than doing it here.


----------



## PieceOfSky

I alluded to this before. I'm wondering if anyone knows what the term is for this sort of thing...



Seems like sometimes the brain latches on to a proxy or imposter for the real issue. For example (keep in mind I'm just a layman), sometimes hoarding behavior emerges after a great personal loss as an unconscious attempt to keep that loss from happening again. Or, sometimes people get triggered by superficial similarities linked in their mind, as if the big event was happening again.



I'm wondering if sometimes feelings of I adequacy about penis size are truly just a proxy for a different fear, and our brains trick us into thinking size anxiety is the real thing.



Sorry if this isn't making sense. I should go to bed .


----------



## ThePheonix

Here's the bottom line guys. There are many ways particular gals (or guys) are not gonna be satisfied with you; Pecker size, money, time, personality, status, and a host of others. If she's not satisfied, cut her loose and find someone who is. Like a house you cannot afford, why spend your life with someone striving to make payments you can't make and knowing you just ain't cutting the mustard with this particular chick.


----------



## clipclop2

I think you are right, Piece. You realize I can't use the traditional POS to refer to you and have to call you Piece. ;-)

Question is, did this guy feel that way before?


----------



## PieceOfSky

clipclop2 said:


> Question is, did this guy feel that way before?




I cannot speak for him, of course. But, from adolescence onward there are ample opportunities to see other flaccid specimens -- in locker rooms in 7th grade PE class, or team sports, or in privacy-deficient restrooms boys are blessed with. It is not as meaningful a comparison as someone at that age might think, as some are show-ers not growers. But, it seems pretty natural to make comparisons to me; I think we all do it. And there are always going to be others that appear larger, unless one is at the top of the class.



Add to that, kids can be cruel especially when they sense fear or self-doubt, and make explicit comparisons for everyone to hear. It is an ugly bullying thing wrapped up as teasing and "joking".



So, then if one grows up to have few or even just one long term partner, validation that one's penis is "good enough" is largely in her hands. If for any other reason -- and surely it is other reasons -- she has sex with another man, it seems likely all sorts of I securities -- penis-related and otherwise -- will emerge. Even if they weren't experienced much before. One's brain seeks to find reasons why the other was tempted enough to cheat, and it is easy to focus the search inward, and find ghosts and think they are real.


----------



## ca-nami

samdew9 said:


> You all can look in my profile if you want to read my whole story. But my wife and I have reconciled and things are better than they have ever been. She has done everything that I have asked (most of it from advice from you all...thank you) But I have still been dealing with the "movies" and a lot of insecurity. Especially when it comes to my manhood. I am someone that needs the details for closure but she has not wanted to give me those details. She would always say that it doesn't matter. That I am the only one that has ever satisfied her sexually and that her one time with the other puke was awful.
> 
> But it just keeps bothering me. So she told me. It was huge. Quite a bit bigger than mine. She told me that was why it was awful, that it hurt a lot when he put it inside of her and that (and the fact that the perverted porn addict couldn't keep it up) he didn't finish the deed. But now I am still very insecure about it and have that feeling of "if it was only a little bit bigger" I know that my wife is satisfied when we have sex because I can feel it. But I fall out every so often and think about how small mine is. I also can't seem to shake the thought of him shoving his giant dong into her. Mine was the only one that she ever saw until his.
> 
> Mine is the average size...I googled it, but it just makes me feel inadequate. I don't know how to overcome this. Did any of you guys ever feel like this??? Any of you girls that can shed some light on this to make me feel better??? Or do I have a legitimate concern that I can't change.


You can't change it, so you have to suck it up and deal with it.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho

PieceOfSky said:


> One's brain seeks to find reasons why the other was tempted enough to cheat, and it is easy to focus the search inward, and find ghosts and think they are real.


Exactly.


----------



## clipclop2

Right. But how does one exorcise those ghosts?

It isn't just penii. Breast size causes the same issue. Race even. Cheat outside your race. How is the BS to "compete" with that? 

Guys might want to then try to be more sympathetic when women are upset by porn which is partaking by proxy.

Is it even possible to get over something like this without stopping to care?


----------



## tornado

The fact is most men have some amount of insecurity about their size. Really is a personal issue and a woman is not really gonna make you feel better about it. Are you gonna believe her anyway? She might tell you your the biggest but if you separate she might make fun of you to all her friends. Society in general has caused alot of this. Also when boys are in puberty this is a topic amongst friends. Boys hear people talk about how huge they are and a rumor gets started about someone and its like a.wildfire. Men watch a little porn and they use camera angles to make things look larger. Most of those guys are not as big as they claim to be. A VERY small percentage of men are outside the normal range. It is called self esteem for a reason and if you have issues with your size nobody is gonna make you think different. Women have very little knowledge about how to handle this type thing and that's not their fault. Most men would have issues if they were 10 inches. You have what you have and your gonna have to accept it.


----------



## clipclop2

My h talked about the locker room, too. He curls up real tight so he imagined that those who don't must be huge erect. Then porn doesn't show the entire story.

I don't really believe in bell curves, but they are useful tools.

Giggle, giggle.

Size averages vary with race.

If you don't take good care of your cardiovascular health, your little dude aint gonna rise to its potential.

Ah.

We all suck. Hardly any of us make the most of what we have got.

If the OM in this case were so fine, he would have been scooped up and not chasing a married woman.


----------



## clipclop2

I am small. Dated a guy briefly. Like 6' 4". Said he was afraid to try anything fearing he would hurt me.

He had a lot of anger. I felt bad for him. He was a big guy.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

tornado said:


> The fact is most men have some amount of insecurity about their size. Really is a personal issue and a woman is not really gonna make you feel better about it. Are you gonna believe her anyway? She might tell you your the biggest but if you separate she might make fun of you to all her friends. Society in general has caused alot of this. Also when boys are in puberty this is a topic amongst friends. Boys hear people talk about how huge they are and a rumor gets started about someone and its like a.wildfire. Men watch a little porn and they use camera angles to make things look larger. Most of those guys are not as big as they claim to be. A VERY small percentage of men are outside the normal range. It is called self esteem for a reason and if you have issues with your size nobody is gonna make you think different. Women have very little knowledge about how to handle this type thing and that's not their fault. Most men would have issues if they were 10 inches. You have what you have and your gonna have to accept it.


:iagree:

And also I bet that many 'well above average' guys would trade it in for an average one if, for example, they could get a job in return.......or even to get a really good job, if they are underemployed. I think it is rare that a wife's issue with her husband is his genitals. She can find him inadequate in other ways though, which can devastate him, rather than simply activate a minor obsession with his body.


----------



## clipclop2

So... What does the wife have to say?

Anyone PM the OP to see how he is doing?


----------



## nuclearnightmare

clipclop2 said:


> My h talked about the locker room, too. He curls up real tight so he imagined that those who don't must be huge erect. Then porn doesn't show the entire story.
> 
> I don't really believe in bell curves, but they are useful tools.
> 
> Giggle, giggle.
> 
> Size averages vary with race.
> 
> If you don't take good care of your cardiovascular health, your little dude aint gonna rise to its potential.
> 
> Ah.
> 
> We all suck. Hardly any of us make the most of what we have got.
> 
> If the OM in this case were so fine, he would have been scooped up and not chasing a married woman.


Size averages vary with race? Isn't that a common assumption, that is unproven?

The OP, I believe, should reconsider his all out push toward R. His wife has made his marriage and his minististery a joke. In this case, and in most of these cases it's as simple as the common saying that 'those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it' she will cheat again, eventually......


----------



## clipclop2

Actually, it is a fact. Google it.


----------



## tornado

Actually their is no relation to race and size. There is a study that was done in Europe I think. People actually were physically measured, not going on what they say. Their was no correlation between race or height when it came to size.


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## clipclop2

Link please?


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## treyvion

tornado said:


> Actually their is no relation to race and size. There is a study that was done in Europe I think. People actually were physically measured, not going on what they say. Their was no correlation between race or height when it came to size.


Not true. Different regions of the world had different height and penis size norms.

The old "black" to "white" comparison was a bout a .5" difference in erect lengths. It was accepted that a black flaccid penis hangs longer and doesn't erect as much.

However it was also accepted that in "black" there tends to be more "monsters",even though it is not the norm.


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## nuclearnightmare

clipclop2 said:


> Actually, it is a fact. Google it.


Google does not produce facts, it produces information posted on websites, true, false and all mixtures of both. But you know this. reliable studies on the question are very few.....am not convinced there are any at all.


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## clipclop2

Thank you for that condescending response.

I also know the Weather Channel does not produce the weather.

However, it can provide a reference to a scholarly document.


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## tornado

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3591649/


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## tornado

That's not the link I was referencing but its the first one I found.


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## nuclearnightmare

clipclop2 said:


> I think having guys say things like "plow your wife" does more damage.
> 
> Why must men describe sex in such vulgar terms when another man is struggling with reconciling with his wife? Would you say something like that if it were your sister who cheated?
> 
> Men don't like women shameing them. So why do men shame other men this way?


Before this thread shuts down this post deserves a response...

I don't like men shaming other men posters either. But sometimes that is not what they are doing when they use the terms like above.
Sometimes it is an attempt to wake the BH up to what a rotten wife they have, which often comes through pretty clearly from the B H story related.

So yeah the sex the woman has is vulgar, described in vulgar terms because she herself is vulgar.....i.e. she should cease to be human in his mind, he should think of her as walking on 4 legs unless he has a dog...in which case the dog should not be insulted (dogs are loyal) and therefore the W W would not yet be evolved enough to crawl on land.....in his mind. We all can make up our own analogies for those we consider creatures, having once thought them human...........
It is a way some of us believe the detachment process can start. I would not describe my sister in those terms if she cheated, but I also would not fault my BRO IN law for doing so.....


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## Deejo

Oh look ... another wandering penis thread.


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