# need of a females opinion.....



## Figs (Dec 2, 2009)

several months ago my wife told me, she didnt love me anymore and wanted to get a divorce. i was deployed at the time. we havent spoken about actually getting divorce, since my return. and she is currently having an EA, with a "friend." my question is, why does a woman decide not to where a wedding ring anymore? i have asked her before, and she just said she doesnt have the same feelings anymore. is it more than that?
is possibly because she wants to be known as single? i would ask her, but i just feel like it would push her away.

is there anybody here, who has taking off their wedding for any other purpose?


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## Figs (Dec 2, 2009)

i tried to do it myself, not wear my ring. coudlnt last more than a hour, and she wasnt even around to see.lol
i love her so much!!


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## FLgirl (Nov 7, 2009)

I hate to say it, but there is no innocent reason to not wear your wedding ring. (unless your mixing meat loaf!) She wants to be seen as single. She is probably telling the guy she is having the EA with that you two are done, and she isn't wearing her ring proves that to EA man. If she is telling you she wants to be with you, then she needs to put the ring back on.

sorry, as an ex-military wife I think her dropping this on you while you were deployed was really really low.


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## Dr.betrayed (Nov 20, 2009)

Figs said:


> why does a woman decide not to where a wedding ring anymore? i have asked her before, and she just said she doesnt have the same feelings anymore. is it more than that?


I think your question should rather be " why did my wife decide not to wear the wedding ring anymore?"
Every person is different. She truly is trying to say something through this action. It is up to you how you take it.

Her action can be read as, 

seeking your attention - You said she was having an EA, have you looked into the fact "why?". She said she doesn't feel the same anymore. If I were in her place, I would want my husband to ask me why? Reassure her you still feel the same for her and want to work it out. See if she responds.... 

Proving a point that she moved on - Like "FLgirl" said, she is proving her point she moved on. Isn't that better than still wearing the ring and pretend? Atleast she is honest. She can face the truth. There are many people around here who cheat on their spouse and make false promises, with the ring on their finger. 

There could be several views based on her action, But you are the only person who can see what is more appropriate. 
You know your wife better than we do....


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## Ditajr (Nov 24, 2009)

Let me give you a list of why I don't wear my rings sometimes...none of which are because I am trying to come across as being single or because I am trying to say I have moved on.
1) Cleaning and dishes
2) Cooking
3) If I drink a lot of alcohol, my fingers swell for days and makes it difficult to wear them
4) After taking them off from one of those things mentioned above...I may forget to put them back on...and when I remember, sometimes I just don't make the effort.
5) Sometimes, they are just annoying to wear, even after 4 years, they can be uncomfortable. So...I just don't wear them.
6) The work I do, they get in my way and/or scratched up.

None of this bothers my husband and sometimes he doesn't wear his ring for various reasons, which doesn't bother me. Wearing your rings doesn't make you married...being married makes you married. Poetic, I know. But seriously, if she told you she doesn't want to be with you and she is having an emotional affair, why would you try to not upset her by asking her why she isn't wearing the rings? You have a right to know what the heck is going on with your marriage.


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## Marley (Dec 1, 2009)

I can't go without my ring. I feel naked without it. Although I have already taken them off and thrown them at my husband... I was pissed off that I missed, but picked them up and put them back on virtually immediately. The engagement band is cracked through the metal at the bottom as a result, but I haven't had it fixed so that it serves as a reminder of what I would be willing to throw away.


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## Figs (Dec 2, 2009)

thank you, all for your opinion. yes it does suck, she told me she wanted a d while i was already 4 months into my 6 months deployment. she has not mentioned d since i return. she also said it was work related, sometimes during her job wearing a ring is a safety hazard. but she doesnt wear it off work, so... thanks again! i will continue to wear my ring and keep on hoping for the best.


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## lil_titch (Dec 8, 2009)

Her...she hasn't rehashed the divorce topic since the phone call. Her...she doesn't wear her ring anymore.
You...if I pretend none of that happened she'll love me again.

Speak up sweetie and ask her flat out! Don't worry about 'pushing her away', she is away already. I would think if she loved you she would be sad knowing you think this way. Speak up, if you do or say nothing you are allowing her to treat you like this. Hugs The Angelic Vixen


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## KatieScarlett (Dec 9, 2009)

Listen to lil titch - she's a smart girl. I wore my rings always the first many years of my marriage... but haven't worn them now for several years. They don't mean anything to me anymore. I don't know where the d*mn things are, and I don't even care. 

Between an EA and not wearing her rings you can be sure that she is moving away from you. If you want her, step up now and let her know.


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