# Husband prefers masturbation to sex. Help!



## justagirl123

Hi! I am new here, this is my first post. So, forgive me if I mess this up a bit... I found this forum and read of others who are experiencing or have experienced similar problems. So, I know there are others out there like me. I am looking for some feedback, please! Ideas, suggestions, what you think would work, what worked for you or someone you know. If you are a man, what is your take on this?
So, here's the story. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, together for 12. Both of us were previously married at a young age and those marriages didn't work out. My first marriage because my ex-husband would go on the internet when I wasn't around (he worked nights and I worked days so there was ample opportunity) and progressed from masturbating to porn online to "meeting" women in chat rooms for cyber sex to meeting these women in real life and having an actual physical relationship with them. After I found out, we entered marriage counseling and tried to work our marriage out for 5 years. When I found out that he had still been meeting girls during this 5 year period, I left him. A couple of years I met my current husband. I was gunshy about remarrying and I was the one who made us wait at least two years before we married. The sex was amazing. He knew that I was distrustful of the internet sex sites/porn after what I had been through. I told him that I would never ever let that happen to me again. That I was forgiving and understanding about most things, but that was off limits. He agreed. After we married, my ex-husband dropped out of my kids' life. And my new husband honestly took on the role of father. He has been more of a father to them than thier real dad and my children love him so very much. About three years after we married, I noticed our sex life diminishing. I love sex. I loved sex especially with him. It was so incredibly satisfying and he was the best lover I've ever had. And I thought he felt the same. Anyway, with the decline of our sex life (every time I tried to iniate he said no), I began to do some investigating. Yep, internet porn everywhere. I confronted him, he said sometimes a guy just has to masterbate. It's quicker, it's easier, it's faster. OK, I agree. I understand that. It's cool. I said they only thing I would have a problem with is if his masturbation took the place of our sex life. I didn't mind having to step up my own masturbation to compensate, but I didn't want our sex life to stop all together. If he could just give me once a week, I'd be happy and not complain. Well, here we are 7 years later. We have sex -not kidding- twice a year. And that is after I browbeat him death. I nag and nag and nag and he literally says: "ugh. fine". He has a hard time getting and maintaining an erection when he finally concedes to sex and then literallly he wants the sex we do have to be all about me getting him off and nothing for me! I leave frustrated and sad with no orgasm. He doesn't even try to hide the fact that he prefers masturbating to me anymore. I know whenever he locks himself in the bathroom (on a dialy basis) what is going on. I have banged on the door after thirty minutes of him being in there, and this is rather gross, but there is he is with an erection and no poop smell, no shower steam, nothing. I know exactly what he is doing and it makes me sick to my stomach every time. He does this on a daily basis. Last night, I was upstairs about 8 pm laying down with the kids. He said he'd be up in a minute so we could watch tv or visit or whatever. Well, I waited and waited. Finally, about 8:45 I decided I would just go downstairs and hang out with him. Guess what! He was masturbating on the couch! Not under a blanket. His, ahem, was just out for all to see. WHAT?! What if it had been the kids and not me who walked downstairs? Sheesh. Then he got mad at me about it. Said I was uptight and a prude. Seriously?! I love him very much, but dang it! Why doesn't he have sex with me? I've never been too busy, too tired, had a headache, etc. I've tired dressing up, dressing down, watching porn with him, etc. I've talked until I'm blue in the face about how hurtful is choice of porn over me is. Nothing changes. As of right now, I haven't sex since JULY! Help!


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## SaffronPower

umm..what bad luck? 

"talked till your blue in the face" ...do you act like his mother? 

patrolling his masturbation borders on controlling

maybe he's keeping this fantastic sex to himself because he doesn't like the way you treat him?

i think we're missing some info here...what else is wrong?


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## justagirl123

Oh gosh, I hope I don't act like his mother. I've just talked about how much his choice of masturbation over me is hurtful. I try not to do it often, but I do want my feelings to be known. Maybe I just can't accept that he cares so little about something that hurts me so greatly. Rejection by your spouse? Shouldn't your spouse be the one person you don't get rejected by? And you're right, I should not be patrolling his masturbation. I can't seem to help it though. What is wrong with me??? Maybe it's me and not him! God, I hope so, because I would be willing to take a good long look at myself and correct whatever it is that is pushing him away. But, he won't even talk to me about it. He just tells me everything is fine. What do you think is the right way to treat a man? I try to be supportive and caring. I always cook, clean, etc. so he doesn't have to worry about that. I make sure he has what he needs, do whatever errands he asks me to do and make a good effort to spend some time every day just visiting with him about how his day was. What else should I be doing? Thanks in advance for your input.


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## Chris Taylor

I kind of have to agree with SaffronPower here. Something is missing.

What kind of sex life did you have before with him? I know at some point when a guy is asking and not getting, it's easier to just take care of it himself and it becomes the status quo going forward. A little porn, a little stroking, done.

the other thing may be that he has erection problems and can't get off through normal intercourse but can through masturbation.

As for your satisfaction in bed, that's up to you to make sure you get what you want. if he finishes, have him finish you. Or have him do you first.


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## justagirl123

Hi Chris,
Thank you (and Saffron) so much for your feedback and honesty. This has truly stumped me and you are helping me to see things a little more clearly. Our sex life before was amazing. Amazing for both of us. We had sex, in the beginning, every single day and then it just kind of dwindled down to about once a week, which was fine. I have never, ever turned him down if he asked for or even acted like he wanted sex. He is the best lover I've ever had and I love him so much I honestly never ever have turned him down. It is him turning me down. He did have a vastectomy several years ago and I wonder if that can affect his ability to maintain or even get an erection. But, am I being selfish? I just want a little attention too! Even if it is not sex. If he would just reach for me instead of the darn computer. In our sex life now, which again is about twice a year, he says that if he tries to take the time to touch or kiss me he'll lose his erection. So it's all about me making him aroused then him quickly getting the job done. Then he leaves. There is no finishing me off or me going first because he can't get hard unless I perform oral sex and once I do he's inside so fast because he says he'll lose it. I never try to make him feel bad about this, because I think it would be horrible to make your husband feel ashamed about sex. Maybe thats why. Maybe he doesn't want me because it is almost impossible for him to please me anymore. But still, wouldn't you want to get some Viagra or something? Wouldn't you miss having sex with your wife? And why would there be no problems with getting and/maintaining an erection with porn but only with me? That makes me think something is wrong with me. What do you think?


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## airplane

There are options other than Viagra though if that works it easy. He could go with a pump or injections into the side of his penis; no it's not painful.


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## chillymorn

sounds like a health problem. dose he have heart disease in his family.

he needs a complete physical and he needs to be honest with the doctor.

good luck


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## SaffronPower

Oh honey yeah you need him to get to the doctor for a physical. There are medical reasons. He needs to tell the doctor honestly that he is having problems maintaining an erection with you. I think it's an early warning sign for heart/circulatory problems too<<<totally not a doctor here. He can do it with porn because its focused and probably fast.

Don't be scared but he needs to check this out medically. I know he's obviously not the "chatter type" when it comes to this kind of intimate stuff. But he owes it to both of you. Insist he goes to the doctor.

The pain of not being able to perform for you is probably why he is so agitated and buggy and LIMP. I doubt it has anything to do with you at all. If he checks out okay and the doctor think's he can take it, he'll probably come home with a viagra script and I'd say ...Bolt the door and have some fun!!!!

It sounds like you're very caring and will tippy toe around his ego and get him "pointed" in the right direction soon


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## MsLady

I hope you are still around to read this.

Sure, a physical is a good idea.

But, honestly, a man with a physical problem that had no issues before would be concerned himself. His attitude would be completely different. He'd WANT to be with you and find himself not fully able. He's want to go find out what's wrong. And, my guess is, he wouldn't have 45 minutes of masturbation time going for him, but somehow can't keep it up 5 minutes for his wife. Furthermore, if he was such a great lover before, it means that he knows how to do more than in-out-thankyoumam, so he's at least be pleasing you in other ways, rather than insisting he be pleased and then walk away.

How is he behaving in other areas of life? Sex is where problems are usually most obvious, but certainly not the only place where they exist when they are this severe. Is he still a good father to the children? (I'd start to have serious doubts about that when a man cares so much about his masturbation that he'd be willing to expose the children if they walked in). Does he spend other type of quality time with you? Does he do any nice things for you or take you on dates? How is your friendship with him? How's the communication? Does he help out around the house (or is he king)? I would define for yourself more clearly the areas (outside of sex) where he's showing the same disregard for your happiness and for your feelings.

You did this rodeo once before. And I'm sorry that you are finding yourself with a man that's sexually disrespecting you once again. The only thing that I would say, if you are looking to examine yourself, is that from part of your post, I wonder if you are too subservient, too eager, too needy? And I don't mean because you need sex or love from your husband ... I mean, because you seem like you've accommodated his nonsense to degrees that most women wouldn't. Maybe I'm wrong, there's no enough info on that.

But that wouldn't be totally neither here nor there.

For me, what's most relevant is his lack of acknowledgment that there is a problem, his disregard for your unhappiness on this issue and his attempts to turn this into your fault ("you're a prude" etc). A couple can a problem between them. Even a really big one like yours. But if there's respect, communication and willingness to do right by the other person, anything can be overcome.

In your case, I'd be less worried about the fact that he doesn't want sex and is masturbating all the time instead, and would be most concerned about the lack of respect, lack of communication and complete disregard for your unhappiness (sexual and otherwise).

You wasted many years in your previous marriage trying to solve something that never got solved. My advice to you in this marriage is to sit down with him at a very calm moment, ask him to listen and tell him 1) That while it appears he's okay with things, you are not and that you are unhappy about your sex life, 2) that you are unhappy about his lack of care that there's is no sex life, 3) that you are unhappy that he broke his promise to you that he'd stay off internet porn (it's not like you tricked him, you were upfront early in the relationship and yet have been very flexible), 4) that you'd like him to go get a medical checkup and go to marriage counseling with you.

I think you should (regardless of what he says or agrees to): 1) go to counseling yourself to sort out your feelings about this and decide how to handle it, 2) strengthen yourself up and make it clear there's no free lunch anymore (meaning you are not his begging, nagging, needy wife anymore -- not saying that's what you are, but rather that's what he may perceive) and that he can get on track in the marriage or you're going to do what you need to make yourself happy. Define what happy without needing anything from him means for yourself and go for that. In some cases, that may be divorce, in others it means you fulfill your needs for validation and love elsewhere (and, no, I don't mean an affair, but I do mean finding a support network that builds you up rather than tears you down). 

Good luck and I'm sorry. I know TOO WELL what it's like to go so long without sex despite being marriage. It's quite bitter.


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## MsLonely

Hi,
Same experience and situation like yours I had. 
Your husband might suffer low testosterone. 
Can you encourage him go for a blood test?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ddrh

I agree with MsLady... you were upfront with him. I've read before in a book that some of the most neglected women are the ones that are always available to the guy for sex. 

Keep your self-respect. He blames you and makes you feel like you're the problem because he doesn't want to deal with his own issues. 

If I was in your shoes (and I'm a porn-hater) I would think that he doesn't love me anymore... and then I would question why I'm with him again...

If you're uncomfortable, don't allow yourself to be... remove yourself from the situation. And I wonder what else he may be into? I hope nothing else... but sometimes (if this is a sex addiction) it will turn into something else.

I think masturbation is wrong... I will not accept it in my household. You're not crazy for thinking the way you are. Just stand up and believe in yourself, your worth, and ACT... towards change. You can't really change him. But you can change yourself...
If you keep doing what you've been doing-- you're gonna get the same results. But I guess, you'll know when enough's enough.

I hope everything gets better. But eventually your children will imitate or may grow up thinking that's okay. You have control over what you expose yourself and your children to... not necessarily him.

Wishing you the best. Hoping you have the courage to believe you are a very valuable woman... a worthy woman-- that other guys (especially a true Christian guy) would value. You have so much to offer. Don't let anyone belittle you... He has a problem... and I bet you're more than willing to admit to ANY problem you have and fix it...


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## Syrum

SaffronPower said:


> umm..what bad luck?
> 
> "talked till your blue in the face" ...do you act like his mother?
> 
> patrolling his masturbation borders on controlling
> 
> maybe he's keeping this fantastic sex to himself because he doesn't like the way you treat him?
> 
> i think we're missing some info here...what else is wrong?


Worst answer I've ever read. 

there is nothing wrong with masturbation, and it has it's place in a healthy sex life. This is not healthy.

She was not patrolling his masturbation, she told him what the limits and boundaries were and why she felt that way. he agreed. then he went and used internet porn anyway, and obviously has a huge problem.

This is in no way the OP's fault.

it is not her fault that the her husband chose to betray her and then hide it from her. It is not her fault that he didn't respect the relationship enough to concentrate on her and their sex life rather then turning to porn.

Porn can be very harmful to relationships. 

He doesn't have a physical problem, he has a psychological problem, and needs help. he chooses to whack off to porn and now he can't have sex or get off without it.


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## questionmarkwife

honestly u are not the problem justagirl123. the problem is that he chooses to see u in a different light. he might not seem to be attracted to u and goes to masterbation instead. and it probally has nothing to do with u. its the way he sees u thru his eyes. i see it as if a man really deeply loves a women, he will always be attracted to her. how is ur relationship with him besides the sex? if i were you i would do a little investigating. he could also be cheating on u. i think porn opens the door for men to explore other things. that seems to be the case with me and my unfaithful husband. so girl to girl- check on ur husband for other signs that might be cheating. after what i been thru, i dont doubt any man of cheating!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## dochol

The sad truth is that he might not be attractive to you anymore. For whatever reason. And he's gotten so used to that tight grip of his hand, that a vagina just doesn't do it for him.

You have to confront him on whether you are attractive to him anymore. And if he is, and wants to change, he needs to stop masturbating so he gets sensitive to the feel of your vagina again.

I know this sounds crude, but it's the truth. If he doesn't want to change, well, you either leave him, live with it or cheat.


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## dochol

ddrh, you said "I think masturbation is wrong... I will not accept it in my household." I'm curious about how you stop the folks in your house from masturbating? Can they do it outside the house? Do you have security cameras in rooms and watch your family members? What is the punishment for masturbating? And what constitutes masturbating in your opinion? Would someone taking too much time washing their privates in the shower be masturbating to you?


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## evejaa

NO...this is not our problem. It is our husband's problem. I have only been married a year. My husband's low sex desire with me started on our honeymoon. He prefers masturbation to sex. I have talked to him about it and made all kinds of compromises. Like, if you have the urge you can wake me, no foreplay needed. You can just stick it in and get off. When I beg I get it ones or twice a month. He masturbates every day at least once or twice. I find evidence in his shirts or paper towels he leaves around. He doesn’t need to watch porn, but says he needs the release without any effort. I would love sex everyday, twice a day. I want to explore and have fun with him and our sex life. This is killing me. I am down to bribing him. If he wants something from me, I just say, what do I get. Give me what I want and I will give you what you want. It has worked a few times. Anyone else have anything that has helped or worked for them?


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## reader27

evejaa said:


> NO...this is not our problem. It is our husband's problem. I have only been married a year. My husband's low sex desire with me started on our honeymoon. He prefers masturbation to sex. I have talked to him about it and made all kinds of compromises. Like, if you have the urge you can wake me, no foreplay needed. You can just stick it in and get off. When I beg I get it ones or twice a month. He masturbates every day at least once or twice. I find evidence in his shirts or paper towels he leaves around. He doesn’t need to watch porn, but says he needs the release without any effort. I would love sex everyday, twice a day. I want to explore and have fun with him and our sex life. This is killing me. I am down to bribing him. If he wants something from me, I just say, what do I get. Give me what I want and I will give you what you want. It has worked a few times. Anyone else have anything that has helped or worked for them?


Is he gay? That would explain his behavior.


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## bbird1

Men masterbate for many reasons. I would have to say encourage the doctor route. If there are no medical problems rather than telling him how hurtful it is try something new.

Maybe get your parents to watch the kids and when he gets home no one but you is there. Have a simple dinner, some wine try a little romance some men like that. You could also try masterbating when he comes to bed I had a friend that used to get turned on when his wife started without him. He always helped her finish and without the toys and fingers.

If you love him and believe he loves you then try and push to work this out.

As for the porn try looking at his computers internet history. I leave mine on and my wife knows the passwords. I welcome her to check my computer anytime she wants or feels a need. I think 100% open and honest is best maybe he will let you see if he is looking at porn and that might put your mind at ease if he is not.

Anyway gentle here this can be a touchy subject for some men I am told. For me I willingly admit i do it when I have to travel and am away from my wife. Oh and the porn I look at well she is the star of my picture and movie collection. (It was a way she spiced things up once in a while) Now we don't do that all the time but from time to time and i find it racy and exciting. She's an awesome lady 99.9% of the time and even the .1% i still love her like crazy.


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## ClipClop

I wonder why so many people think these things are medical when masturbation shows that it is clearly based on preference and his choices.

He may be more into his own hand, as Chris said. But when you do have sex does he take forever to cum? Losing erections can be mental but it could also mean he isn'tgetting the stimulation he associates with sex because they come from his hand. 

A guy that won't work on sex with his wife doesn't deserve to be married. To me, this is a lost cause. It is far too emotionally devastating to stay with a man who makes you question yourself so much when all he needs to do is be honest and end the marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## janesmith

His masterbation has nothing to do with you. He needed an outlet, for stress, tension, anxiety who knows. He WAS feeling a need you couldnt meet because you were concenred about your own needs. Our own need so often gets in the way of seeing and responding to what our partners are trying to tell us. Contrary to popular belief it is NOT always about us. The next time you "catch" your husband masterbating, go quietly to your knees and give him a blow job. When he orgasms say 'i love you' and leave him by himself. He will start to fall love with you all over again.


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## evejaa

Ok, let me back up a little. When we first got married I started with offering a blow job every night if he wanted or sex. He took me up on it a couple of times. Then after the first week, nothing. If I wanted sex, he said I would have to dress up, short skirt high heels and get him in the mood. I started by being dressed up every night, but he started to ignore me. So I stopped. To this day if I want sex, I have to beg, dress up and then get him in the mood by starting him with a blow job. He has no problem coming or staying hard when we do have sex, he is big and hard. He says that if I lost 20 pounds, he would not be able to keep his hands off me. I am 5-9 and 170 with big breast. He wants me to be 150. Ok I am working on it, but I don't think anything will change, because I was 10 pounds heavier when we met. I am diabetic and so it has been hard for me to loose weight. Lastly, I tell me I will make it as easy and hassle free, no foreplay needed, he doesn't like foreplay.


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## nader

evejaa, that seems unbelievable to me.. you are offering nightly bjs and he is just trying to get you to dress up and then telling you to lose 20 lbs? What is wrong with some men?

My wife is a tad overweight, but I could care less. She could go to bed in sweatpants and I'd STILL be all over it. She is my wife and I can't get enough of her! I'm sorry to hear you are having this issue.


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## tjohnson

my heart goes out to you. First off i would discard the people that are jumping to the erroneous conclusion that this is your fault. 



I understan your misstrust of porn based on your experience in your first marriage. I think it is reasonable to believe that a man who whould cheat would also like porn but, the correlation is not clear. It is my contention that Porn does not lead to cheating or that a man that uses porn is any more apt to cheat. however, this argument should be the basis of another thread as it will detract from the issue you face IMHO. I also agree with syrum's assesment that masturbation is normal but, your H's is not. 



It is most likely that his ED is the biggest issue here and should be addressed accordingly. Read other posts about this and/or get other advice from doctor. 



Don't be confused about this masturbation and his lack of attention to you. I think men can still feel a need to release even if it is not manifested in a full on or even partial erection. In my younger days when I would booze I would not be able to perform intercourse but, could get myself off. Even though it was temporary and induced from alot of booze still it was humiliating. I cannot imaging when my plumbing starts failing consistantly. He may not want to "try" with you (consciously or otherwise) as this will force him to admit to you and himself that this is a big problem that he wants not to face. Don't forget many men have learned how to do this after doing it literally thousands of time with the benefit of their brain, hand and mind all being interconnected. I have never met a women that could stimulate me the way i can and don't think i am unusual in that regard. 





As far as his lack of willingness to please you perhaps he is so trying to focus on him being able to pentrate you successfully that he cannot do both. I would first consult doctors orders and any related causes. You should try to evaluate if there could be any POTENTIAL psychological or relationship issues that could be causing this (again, this is his problem not yours -unless i am missing somthing-is the relationship otherwise ok...that will tellthe= story. 



If this doesn't work perhaps you can explore alternative ways of mutual satisfaction. There must be a ton of toys/aids that can help in this way. Perhaps you can have sex that doesn't require penetration. 



Again, don't blame yourself. Your first H was a cheating A## and your current one seems to have a medical condition. Please let us know good or bad how it works out. 



I will pray for you both.


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## tjohnson

I would suggest too that you post this in the men's locker room aslo.


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## ClipClop

This isn't about ED. He has turned her down from close to the beginning. He won't work on things. He prefers porn and masturbation. He isn't drunk. 

What part of the facts are being ignored?

This isn't an indictment of porn or mast. I get the.feeling people answer based on their own fears about that.

This is about one guy that doesn't want sex with his.wife and shows no sign of changing.

If you want a.sexual marriage op, leave this man or suggest an open marriage. He isn't willing to change and so long as. You are there, he has no incentive to try.

Give him fair warning - therapy and change or goodbye. If he reverts, goodbye.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## reader27

evejaa said:


> Ok, let me back up a little. When we first got married I started with offering a blow job every night if he wanted or sex. He took me up on it a couple of times. Then after the first week, nothing. If I wanted sex, he said I would have to dress up, short skirt high heels and get him in the mood. I started by being dressed up every night, but he started to ignore me. So I stopped. To this day if I want sex, I have to beg, dress up and then get him in the mood by starting him with a blow job. He has no problem coming or staying hard when we do have sex, he is big and hard. He says that if I lost 20 pounds, he would not be able to keep his hands off me. I am 5-9 and 170 with big breast. He wants me to be 150. Ok I am working on it, but I don't think anything will change, because I was 10 pounds heavier when we met. I am diabetic and so it has been hard for me to loose weight. Lastly, I tell me I will make it as easy and hassle free, no foreplay needed, he doesn't like foreplay.


If he's masturbating more than once a day, that means he has a very healthy sex drive. He wants sex, he just doesn't really want to have sex with YOU. In other words, he isn't very attracted to you. 

Sometimes a man can start out attracted to his wife and slowly loose attraction over time due to things like resentment or changes in appearance. However, I don't think that is what happened in this case. Usually if the husband (or the wife) suddenly stops wanting sex immediately after marriage it means that they didn't really want sex before marriage either and just forced themselves to have sex to convince their partner to marry them. So he probably wasn't very attracted to you even before the marriage.

Straight men usually marry women that they are attracted to. There are some exceptions (like if the woman has lots of money), but they are pretty rare. Gay men, however, can't marry a woman that they are attracted to because they aren't attracted to women in general. A lot of them still get married though, because they want to try and hide the fact that they are gay. This results in sexless marriages. There are other possible explanations for why your husband doesn't want sex, but after reading both your posts I still see this as the most likely one.


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## tpfinkum

ClipClop said:


> This isn't about ED. He has turned her down from close to the beginning. He won't work on things. He prefers porn and masturbation. He isn't drunk.
> 
> What part of the facts are being ignored?
> 
> Thank you for pointing that out! When I kept reading that, I kept going back to try and figure out what would suggest ED? If the man is sitting on the couch exposed knowing the kids are upstairs, he does not have an erectile dysfunction. He has worse problems than that!
> 
> You need to tell him if he's that in love with himself, then go live by himself and enjoy himself and let other men enjoy YOU!


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## rayne60

Im so sorry! Ive been exactly where u r! My husband disconnected from me. He stopped having any intimate time with me for 9 yrs, of which the last 5 yrs I gave up and I too disconnected. 

I had busted him twice on the internet, on porn sites. First account was early on into the disconnected state with him, me not really realizing he was disconnecting at that point. We had a big blow up and he got rid of the porn. Please dont get me wrong...I like a lil porn into a relationship in which at first we shared but right before that blow-up he had just stopped having anything to do with me sexually. The 2nd time was further on into the disconnected state he was in, like 2 yrs later after the first account. I kicked him out and threw his wedding band into the river. But then we talked and he told me he realized how much he had hurt me and would never do it again. I was hurt because at this point it had been 4 yrs of no sex or any intimacy from him. That he could jerk off but not spend time with me privately...really? It made me feel very insecure about my looks. A yr later nothing had changed so I knew he was back to the porn so I disconnected from the marriage...that was 5 yrs ago last yrs.

Things changed last year...I caught him with another woman and in that found out there had been 2 others on top of the one I caught him with. I couldnt believe how stupid I had been to not see this was going to eventually happen. Yes, I had disconnected but I never cheated on him, I just stopped caring about him and whatever his needs were. I let it turn me into a Royal *****! He didnt even notice though that I had emotionally left the marriage...thats how much he was disconnected. 

I am deeply in love with this man, always have been so I stayed because he says he doesnt want to lose me and that he would do whatever it took. So, we started marriage counseling for a while then he started a 12 step program for sex addiction (and marijuana addiction) I also started going to a support group and I have learned that its not me, its his problem. I had let it take so much of my self-esteem that I didnt feel desirable anymore or just couldnt do anything right. 

In my support group I see now that I spent to much time into doing/thinking for and about him and no time doing/thinking for myself and thats exactly what Ive started doing now...doing/thinking about myself! The ppl in my support group made me see that I had lost myself into him and his problem. I was letting it dominate every aspect of my life in some way or another.

Is our relationship going to make it through this??? I dont know, he has lied to me so much over the last 18 yrs that I still have no trust in him even though he is doing so great with his program...it will be 11 months without any porn, masturbation or other women. (at least so he says) But he does seem to have changed, he seems to be more caring about me in the bedroom than he ever has been but we are going through a similar problem with him not being able to stay erect while he is pleasing me. This concerns me, it makes me wonder if he is losing his attraction for me again and is back to doing something behind my back. This is where I lose me and my self-esteem again and need my support group more than ever to help keep my brain where it needs to be...on me not him! 

With concern of his lack of "hardness" he did go have some blood work done and his cholesterol is very high. With reading others comments on here this is really concerning me now about his heart. He actually sees the doctor in July but maybe he needs to go sooner. 

But back to my point...what matters is that Im getting myself stronger and this sounds like something you need to be focusing on. It sounds like your husband could have an addiction to porn/masturbation and before you get too 
hurt, seeking a professional to talk to might be able to help you. Making yourself better can only make your marriage and family better! Get strong, stay strong...this may not be the end of your marriage but maybe a new beginning for you!


----------



## heehaw pete

First off-I dont understand why women in general are FAKE...
1-makeup
2-pushup bra
3-corset
4-squeezing into a size 6 instead of a 10
5-breast implants
6-butt implants
7-nylons to hide veins
8-hair extentions
9-fake crying...etc

When I wake up, what I see in the mirror is what the world sees. Why do i masterbate when Im married? Ill tell you...When a girl starts slipping and her personality is still awsome. I like a girl who takes pride in here apperance. but when I see 'other girls' throughout the day who still go to the gym and keep fit, running,yoga,spinning, even pole classes-AFTER they have kids, I scratch my head- whats the problem here.. your lazy, dont want to go to the hassle, dont have time, whatever your excuse. When I see you havent done any crunches for the last decade, and your youthful tanning has now caught up to you... forgive me when I not as intimate as I "should" be. When all the make up and clothes and accesories come off, is she my dream girl?? personality is about what 40%. 
So yeah I masterbate-Im a guy who is NOT gay, dont have any problems what so ever. I rub one out, and get on with my day. Im not making it into a whole production...lets make love she says-


----------



## Laurae1967

Heehaw Pete - you are joking, right?


----------



## Parrothead

SaffronPower said:


> Oh honey yeah you need him to get to the doctor for a physical. There are medical reasons. He needs to tell the doctor honestly that he is having problems maintaining an erection with you. I think it's an early warning sign for heart/circulatory problems too<<<totally not a doctor here. He can do it with porn because its focused and probably fast.


:iagree:

Bullseye!

I began suffering from ED in the middle of my competitive athletic season - I was not a couch potato. I felt winded all season, and later I found that one artery had completely plugged, and the others were on their way. If I had to guess I would say that he doesn't know what is going on and he is trying to assure himself that everything still works.

The family doctor can refer you to a cardiologist, if needs be.


----------



## evejaa

heehaw pete said:


> First off-I dont understand why women in general are FAKE...
> 1-makeup
> 2-pushup bra
> 3-corset
> 4-squeezing into a size 6 instead of a 10
> 5-breast implants
> 6-butt implants
> 7-nylons to hide veins
> 8-hair extentions
> 9-fake crying...etc
> 
> When I wake up, what I see in the mirror is what the world sees. Why do i masterbate when Im married? Ill tell you...When a girl starts slipping and her personality is still awsome. I like a girl who takes pride in here apperance. but when I see 'other girls' throughout the day who still go to the gym and keep fit, running,yoga,spinning, even pole classes-AFTER they have kids, I scratch my head- whats the problem here.. your lazy, dont want to go to the hassle, dont have time, whatever your excuse. When I see you havent done any crunches for the last decade, and your youthful tanning has now caught up to you... forgive me when I not as intimate as I "should" be. When all the make up and clothes and accesories come off, is she my dream girl?? personality is about what 40%.
> So yeah I masterbate-Im a guy who is NOT gay, dont have any problems what so ever. I rub one out, and get on with my day. Im not making it into a whole production...lets make love she says-


This is my husband folks. He wrote this because I put the computer in our bedroom and got up the other night around two and he was watching porn and jacking off. I said "you are kidding right. I asked you before we went to bed do you want to have sex and you said no. Now you are sitting here, while I am sleeping 2 feet away watching porn and jacking off". He say, " you were alseep, I didn't want to wake you". I have told him before, wake me if you want sex, I would love it knowing you wanted me. 

Long story short, after 3 weeks of nothing we had sex the other night. I dressed up and did my hair and makeup...heels and and started him off with a blow job, he was great...big and hard. He tells me I am dam sexy. I was willing to go again, he was done. Two in the morning he is on the computer watching porn and jacking off. 

Sometimes the sex is worth it, but with no foreplay, and no orgasm for me....sometimes I wonder how I can get him to care about my needs.


----------



## sisters359

heehaw pete said:


> First off-I dont understand why women in general are FAKE...
> 1-makeup
> 2-pushup bra
> 3-corset
> 4-squeezing into a size 6 instead of a 10
> 5-breast implants
> 6-butt implants
> 7-nylons to hide veins
> 8-hair extentions
> 9-fake crying...etc
> 
> When I wake up, what I see in the mirror is what the world sees. Why do i masterbate when Im married? Ill tell you...When a girl starts slipping and her personality is still awsome. I like a girl who takes pride in here apperance. but when I see 'other girls' throughout the day who still go to the gym and keep fit, running,yoga,spinning, even pole classes-AFTER they have kids, I scratch my head- whats the problem here.. your lazy, dont want to go to the hassle, dont have time, whatever your excuse. When I see you havent done any crunches for the last decade, and your youthful tanning has now caught up to you... forgive me when I not as intimate as I "should" be. When all the make up and clothes and accesories come off, is she my dream girl?? personality is about what 40%.
> So yeah I masterbate-Im a guy who is NOT gay, dont have any problems what so ever. I rub one out, and get on with my day. Im not making it into a whole production...lets make love she says-


Let her go. She deserves better. She isn't even overweight at her height and you are demanding too much. Most men could not care less if their wife isn't physically perfect, as long as she isn't obese. If you want a wife like that, go get one. Do not hold it against the one you have. It's wrong and hurtful. Let her find someone who will love and want her for who she is.


----------



## Syrum

heehaw pete said:


> First off-I dont understand why women in general are FAKE...
> 1-makeup
> 2-pushup bra
> 3-corset
> 4-squeezing into a size 6 instead of a 10
> 5-breast implants
> 6-butt implants
> 7-nylons to hide veins
> 8-hair extentions
> 9-fake crying...etc
> 
> 
> 
> Not much on that list describes me. However is this how you are wanting to see women or not? :scratchhead: You want them to look good, but are angry that almost all women have to do some prep to look a certain way.
> 
> I am so glad my man tells me I look good even when I first wake up.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When I wake up, what I see in the mirror is what the world sees.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> And who honestly says that is a good thing, probably your wife because she loves you for you (I'm not sure why after this post) but you could probably do with some props before you go out in the world, but she accepts you as you are and you reject her.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Why do i masterbate when Im married? Ill tell you...When a girl starts slipping and her personality is still awsome. I like a girl who takes pride in here apperance.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Perhaps you should put down the porn and stop having unrealistic expectations? Doe your wife have children? How many children have come out of your body? You obviously have an addiction and treat your wife badly and need to justify it by putting her down. i'm sure she could do a lot better and there are plenty of men on here who would just love a wife who wanted to be with them.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> but when I see 'other girls' throughout the day who still go to the gym and keep fit, running,yoga,spinning, even pole classes-AFTER they have kids, I scratch my head- whats the problem here.. your lazy, dont want to go to the hassle, dont have time, whatever your excuse
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> .
> 
> I guess if she ever does find the time, you will still have an ugly personality...
> 
> 
> 
> When I see you havent done any crunches for the last decade, and your youthful tanning has now caught up to you... forgive me when I not as intimate as I "should" be. When all the make up and clothes and accesories come off, is she my dream girl?? personality is about what 40%
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> .
> 
> What a cruel and awful thing to say. Really heartless. I'm sure you look exactly the same and you measure up as her dream man too, treat her like gold do you?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So yeah I masterbate-Im a guy who is NOT gay, dont have any problems what so ever. I rub one out, and get on with my day. Im not making it into a whole production...lets make love she says-
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> You have essentially chosen people you don't know on a screen over real sex and connectedness to your wife. That's just sad. If it's so much hassle to love and desire and be close to your wife, I'm sure someone else will eventually fill the role nicely.
Click to expand...


----------



## Syrum

evejaa said:


> This is my husband folks. He wrote this because I put the computer in our bedroom and got up the other night around two and he was watching porn and jacking off. I said "you are kidding right. I asked you before we went to bed do you want to have sex and you said no. Now you are sitting here, while I am sleeping 2 feet away watching porn and jacking off". He say, " you were alseep, I didn't want to wake you". I have told him before, wake me if you want sex, I would love it knowing you wanted me.
> 
> Long story short, after 3 weeks of nothing we had sex the other night. I dressed up and did my hair and makeup...heels and and started him off with a blow job, he was great...big and hard. He tells me I am dam sexy. I was willing to go again, he was done. Two in the morning he is on the computer watching porn and jacking off.
> 
> Sometimes the sex is worth it, but with no foreplay, and no orgasm for me....sometimes I wonder how I can get him to care about my needs.


Your husband is very selfish and self serving. Painting an awful picture of you yet never mentioning his short comings, the major one being his addiction to porn and his inability to have empathy and love for his own wife.

Seriously you deserve so much better. Once you are not with him, constantly trying to please a man who is delusional you will feel so much better about yourself and wonder why you stayed with him for so long.


----------



## heehaw pete

Read your replys and laughed out loud!! :rofl: Ill be the ass**** who cares. I am 6' and phyicaly fit/Athletic, Im not afraid to take my shirt off-confident, have perfect teeth, and in the gym 6 days a wk....and she says i look like Mario Lopez. I bet half of the people on here have a "muffin top" to put it delicately. So yeah- I get as much attention as she does, And I knew all the girls here will back her, and sympathize. In my world-If your gorgeous you get laid everynight, if your not...you sit at home wondering why your man is at the strip club. And dont pull the "Ive had kids" card, everybody has heard of P90X...they have daycare at the gym. So...I dont need advice from self medicating, theraputic, self help book reading, bunch of nobodys telling me how to handle my marriage. I am the Alpha in this relationship, and she follows my lead, she can vent and ask your opinions...but I dont hear any complaints when shes face down and Im balls deep, treating her the way I see in what I watch. with her legs around my neck- quivering uncontrolable.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes

heehaw pete said:


> Read your replys and laughed out loud!! :rofl: Ill be the ass**** who cares. I am 6' and phyicaly fit/Athletic, Im not afraid to take my shirt off-confident, have perfect teeth, and in the gym 6 days a wk....and she says i look like Mario Lopez. I bet half of the people on here have a "muffin top" to put it delicately. So yeah- I get as much attention as she does, And I knew all the girls here will back her, and sympathize. In my world-If your gorgeous you get laid everynight, if your not...you sit at home wondering why your man is at the strip club. And dont pull the "Ive had kids" card, everybody has heard of P90X...they have daycare at the gym. So...I dont need advice from self medicating, theraputic, self help book reading, bunch of nobodys telling me how to handle my marriage. I am the Alpha in this relationship, and she follows my lead, she can vent and ask your opinions...but I dont hear any complaints when shes face down and Im balls deep, treating her the way I see in what I watch. with her legs around my neck- quivering uncontrolable.


Bye bye.


----------



## MGirl

heehaw pete said:


> Read your replys and laughed out loud!! :rofl: Ill be the ass**** who cares. I am 6' and phyicaly fit/Athletic, Im not afraid to take my shirt off-confident, have perfect teeth, and in the gym 6 days a wk....and she says i look like Mario Lopez. I bet half of the people on here have a "muffin top" to put it delicately. So yeah- I get as much attention as she does, And I knew all the girls here will back her, and sympathize. In my world-If your gorgeous you get laid everynight, if your not...you sit at home wondering why your man is at the strip club. And dont pull the "Ive had kids" card, everybody has heard of P90X...they have daycare at the gym. So...I dont need advice from self medicating, theraputic, self help book reading, bunch of nobodys telling me how to handle my marriage. I am the Alpha in this relationship, and she follows my lead, she can vent and ask your opinions...but I dont hear any complaints when shes face down and Im balls deep, treating her the way I see in what I watch. with her legs around my neck- quivering uncontrolable.


Wow. I think I might just throw up.


----------



## SHYONcE

justagirl123 said:


> Hi! I am new here, this is my first post. So, forgive me if I mess this up a bit... I found this forum and read of others who are experiencing or have experienced similar problems. So, I know there are others out there like me. I am looking for some feedback, please! Ideas, suggestions, what you think would work, what worked for you or someone you know. If you are a man, what is your take on this?
> So, here's the story. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, together for 12. Both of us were previously married at a young age and those marriages didn't work out. My first marriage because my ex-husband would go on the internet when I wasn't around (he worked nights and I worked days so there was ample opportunity) and progressed from masturbating to porn online to "meeting" women in chat rooms for cyber sex to meeting these women in real life and having an actual physical relationship with them. After I found out, we entered marriage counseling and tried to work our marriage out for 5 years. When I found out that he had still been meeting girls during this 5 year period, I left him. A couple of years I met my current husband. I was gunshy about remarrying and I was the one who made us wait at least two years before we married. The sex was amazing. He knew that I was distrustful of the internet sex sites/porn after what I had been through. I told him that I would never ever let that happen to me again. That I was forgiving and understanding about most things, but that was off limits. He agreed. After we married, my ex-husband dropped out of my kids' life. And my new husband honestly took on the role of father. He has been more of a father to them than thier real dad and my children love him so very much. About three years after we married, I noticed our sex life diminishing. I love sex. I loved sex especially with him. It was so incredibly satisfying and he was the best lover I've ever had. And I thought he felt the same. Anyway, with the decline of our sex life (every time I tried to iniate he said no), I began to do some investigating. Yep, internet porn everywhere. I confronted him, he said sometimes a guy just has to masterbate. It's quicker, it's easier, it's faster. OK, I agree. I understand that. It's cool. I said they only thing I would have a problem with is if his masturbation took the place of our sex life. I didn't mind having to step up my own masturbation to compensate, but I didn't want our sex life to stop all together. If he could just give me once a week, I'd be happy and not complain. Well, here we are 7 years later. We have sex -not kidding- twice a year. And that is after I browbeat him death. I nag and nag and nag and he literally says: "ugh. fine". He has a hard time getting and maintaining an erection when he finally concedes to sex and then literallly he wants the sex we do have to be all about me getting him off and nothing for me! I leave frustrated and sad with no orgasm. He doesn't even try to hide the fact that he prefers masturbating to me anymore. I know whenever he locks himself in the bathroom (on a dialy basis) what is going on. I have banged on the door after thirty minutes of him being in there, and this is rather gross, but there is he is with an erection and no poop smell, no shower steam, nothing. I know exactly what he is doing and it makes me sick to my stomach every time. He does this on a daily basis. Last night, I was upstairs about 8 pm laying down with the kids. He said he'd be up in a minute so we could watch tv or visit or whatever. Well, I waited and waited. Finally, about 8:45 I decided I would just go downstairs and hang out with him. Guess what! He was masturbating on the couch! Not under a blanket. His, ahem, was just out for all to see. WHAT?! What if it had been the kids and not me who walked downstairs? Sheesh. Then he got mad at me about it. Said I was uptight and a prude. Seriously?! I love him very much, but dang it! Why doesn't he have sex with me? I've never been too busy, too tired, had a headache, etc. I've tired dressing up, dressing down, watching porn with him, etc. I've talked until I'm blue in the face about how hurtful is choice of porn over me is. Nothing changes. As of right now, I haven't sex since JULY! Help!


This is an older post but here's my take... Some of the responses you got are completely wrong imo. HE IS ADDICTED TO PORN. He cant hold an erection because he probably just jacked it. Thats how it goes. Once a day is more than enough to kill his libido. With kids in the house, and masterbating on the couch???!! addict. serious. does he have an iphone, or any cell phone with video capabilities? i bet he watches porn when ever he can, you should tell him you d like him to get therapy or give up porn, masterbating is one thing, but masterbating to porn constantly and not engaging in sex with your partner is another. Medication is not nec. intervention.


----------



## ClipClop

Dump his ass and let him explain the entire truth to the next woman. Treating anyone like this is awful. You should be ashamed.

Seriously, autosexual ppl wreck their partners self esteem. He is beliittling you to avoid looking at his messed up self. He is not a man.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Parrothead

heehaw pete said:


> So...I dont need advice from self medicating, theraputic, self help book reading, bunch of nobodys telling me how to handle my marriage.


Hey, we're not the ones whose wife came here crying about us beating off on the couch. I, for one, was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt.


----------



## jenny522

I have a similar problem to evejaa. I started dating my husband when we were 18, we dated for 5 years and we've been married for 4 years now (I'm now 28). Our sex life has never been awesome. It was always hard to get him to have sex more than once a week. About 2 years after we started dating (just after we moved in together) I found porn on his computer (and on my computer - which I don't understand since his computer was in the next room). We were lucky to be having sex once a week at that point, so I thought something was up. He admitted to masturbating in the shower (refused to admit how often) and promised to stop and work on our sex life together. I love him, so we stayed together. He's been very busy at work lately and I have been busy with grad school, but we now only have sex about once every month or two. When we do, he refuses any foreplay (so it hurts me) and it is always brief (so nothing but pain for me). I've offered blow jobs or sex whenever he wants it - he always says he's too tired. I know he must be masturbating again (although he won't admit it), what man would go 2 months without anything. I'm a size 00 with D breasts, I work out, and get plenty of attention from strangers - so I don't think it's me. Does anyone have any suggestions?


----------



## Syrum

heehaw pete said:


> Read your replys and laughed out loud!! :rofl: Ill be the ass**** who cares. I am 6' and phyicaly fit/Athletic, Im not afraid to take my shirt off-confident, have perfect teeth, and in the gym 6 days a wk....and she says i look like Mario Lopez. I bet half of the people on here have a "muffin top" to put it delicately. So yeah- I get as much attention as she does, And I knew all the girls here will back her, and sympathize. In my world-If your gorgeous you get laid everynight, if your not...you sit at home wondering why your man is at the strip club. And dont pull the "Ive had kids" card, everybody has heard of P90X...they have daycare at the gym. So...I dont need advice from self medicating, theraputic, self help book reading, bunch of nobodys telling me how to handle my marriage. I am the Alpha in this relationship, and she follows my lead, she can vent and ask your opinions...but I dont hear any complaints when shes face down and Im balls deep, treating her the way I see in what I watch. with her legs around my neck- quivering uncontrolable.


If you start to wonder as you get older why you are repeatedly getting dumped by women, perhaps you could come back and read your post and you will know why.

As for your description of her not complaining, seems like she just doesn't complain to you, because perhaps you are selfish and self interested. She sure has painted a great picture of you and much of that picture involved -you- some lotion and a computer screen, oh how I wish I had a man like you.


----------



## Syrum

jenny522 said:


> I have a similar problem to evejaa. I started dating my husband when we were 18, we dated for 5 years and we've been married for 4 years now (I'm now 28). Our sex life has never been awesome. It was always hard to get him to have sex more than once a week. About 2 years after we started dating (just after we moved in together) I found porn on his computer (and on my computer - which I don't understand since his computer was in the next room). We were lucky to be having sex once a week at that point, so I thought something was up. He admitted to masturbating in the shower (refused to admit how often) and promised to stop and work on our sex life together. I love him, so we stayed together. He's been very busy at work lately and I have been busy with grad school, but we now only have sex about once every month or two. When we do, he refuses any foreplay (so it hurts me) and it is always brief (so nothing but pain for me). I've offered blow jobs or sex whenever he wants it - he always says he's too tired. I know he must be masturbating again (although he won't admit it), what man would go 2 months without anything. I'm a size 00 with D breasts, I work out, and get plenty of attention from strangers - so I don't think it's me. Does anyone have any suggestions?


Yes leave him. You deserve so much better.


----------



## jenny522

I want to work things out with him, but would like to get an idea of what people think the problem may be before I try to talk to him again. He was inexperienced when we met and said he was looking at porn "to make sure I was really what he wanted." I wax because that's what he likes (again, probably from watching porn) in an attempt to be more appealing, but to no avail. Even at 95 lbs with an hourglass figure (33", 22", 33") I feel inadequate since he doesn't seem very interested anymore (but who can compete with porn stars - I don't have any proof he's been looking lately, but he may just be more careful to delete everything). I should also probably mention that he's never been able to have sex more than once in a day (even at 18) - if it gets back up it just goes soft half way though. Also, he ejaculates within a minute when we have sex now (although admittedly things are pretty tight down there now since it's rarely used). Don't know if these details will be helpful. Is he masturbating because he wants to avoid bad sex, or is it bad because he's so uninterested that it's a rare event (if he's masturbating, which I'm guessing about)? I'd really like any advice on the potential problems.


----------



## Syrum

jenny522 said:


> I want to work things out with him, but would like to get an idea of what people think the problem may be before I try to talk to him again. He was inexperienced when we met and said he was looking at porn "to make sure I was really what he wanted." I wax because that's what he likes (again, probably from watching porn) in an attempt to be more appealing, but to no avail. Even at 95 lbs with an hourglass figure (33", 22", 33") I feel inadequate since he doesn't seem very interested anymore (but who can compete with porn stars - I don't have any proof he's been looking lately, but he may just be more careful to delete everything). I should also probably mention that he's never been able to have sex more than once in a day (even at 18) - if it gets back up it just goes soft half way though. Also, he ejaculates within a minute when we have sex now (although admittedly things are pretty tight down there now since it's rarely used). Don't know if these details will be helpful. Is he masturbating because he wants to avoid bad sex, or is it bad because he's so uninterested that it's a rare event (if he's masturbating, which I'm guessing about)? I'd really like any advice on the potential problems.


The problem is him. He has a porn addiction, and has trouble getting off with a real woman. No one can make him change and he has to want to to do it.

Has he taken responsibility at all for his actions? Is he willing to go to counseling? Is he willing to be completely transparent and maybe even give up his time on the internet and any phone with internet access.

maybe he has sexual issues as well, but he still needs those addressed. I would go to couples counseling and I think he needs a sex therapist.

I think he needs to know this is serious enough that you will leave him because obviously he's not going to change.


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## Tropical

I think you must have a nice, romantic dinner with him. Drink some wine or beer. Then he will get more talkative and may be he will tell you his reasons for this problem. Wish you good luck !


----------



## ladybird

heehaw pete said:


> First off-I dont understand why women in general are FAKE...
> 1-makeup
> 2-pushup bra
> 3-corset
> 4-squeezing into a size 6 instead of a 10
> 5-breast implants
> 6-butt implants
> 7-nylons to hide veins
> 8-hair extentions
> 9-fake crying...etc
> 
> When I wake up, what I see in the mirror is what the world sees. Why do i masterbate when Im married? Ill tell you...When a girl starts slipping and her personality is still awsome. I like a girl who takes pride in here apperance. but when I see 'other girls' throughout the day who still go to the gym and keep fit, running,yoga,spinning, even pole classes-AFTER they have kids, I scratch my head- whats the problem here.. your lazy, dont want to go to the hassle, dont have time, whatever your excuse. When I see you havent done any crunches for the last decade, and your youthful tanning has now caught up to you... forgive me when I not as intimate as I "should" be. When all the make up and clothes and accesories come off, is she my dream girl?? personality is about what 40%.
> So yeah I masterbate-Im a guy who is NOT gay, dont have any problems what so ever. I rub one out, and get on with my day. Im not making it into a whole production...lets make love she says-


this is a JOKE right?


----------



## ladybird

heehaw pete said:


> Read your replys and laughed out loud!! :rofl: Ill be the ass**** who cares. I am 6' and phyicaly fit/Athletic, Im not afraid to take my shirt off-confident, have perfect teeth, and in the gym 6 days a wk....and she says i look like Mario Lopez. I bet half of the people on here have a "muffin top" to put it delicately. So yeah- I get as much attention as she does, And I knew all the girls here will back her, and sympathize. In my world-If your gorgeous you get laid everynight, if your not...you sit at home wondering why your man is at the strip club. And dont pull the "Ive had kids" card, everybody has heard of P90X...they have daycare at the gym. So...I dont need advice from self medicating, theraputic, self help book reading, bunch of nobodys telling me how to handle my marriage. I am the Alpha in this relationship, and she follows my lead, she can vent and ask your opinions...but I dont hear any complaints when shes face down and Im balls deep, treating her the way I see in what I watch. with her legs around my neck- quivering uncontrolable.



I really hope your wife up and leaves your sorry A$$.. You are a sorry excuse for a MAN!!!


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