# Dealing with the Ex



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Well for those that know my story... I filed the final papers on Friday. What a relief. I felt good about it, but also at the same time sad because I wasted 13 yrs of my precious life on a lying, cheating sleazeball.

My ex just moved back into my neighborhood. I had mixed feelings about it. Its good he's close to our son, but I sort of liked having him 25 miles away so I didn't have to witness his train wreck of a life.

He invites me over to his new apartment (I say no). He invites me out to lunch and dinner (I say no). He texts me all the time, I only respond when its to do with our son.

The young skank he got pregnant, is due in 3 wks. He told me the other day she has told him she is going to take him to the cleaners. (cry me a river).

My son comes home from visitation at his dad's and tells me daddy's new girlfriend came over last night. We have an agreement in the marital settlement agreement no new dating partners around our son for 6 mths. I confronted him he said sorry it won't happen again. I said I had no idea you were dating again so soon (after the pregnant skank). I said is she comfortable with you wanting to spend so much time with me? Is she comfortable with the fact you have another baby on the way in a few weeks? He didn't answer me. She probably has no idea. After all this is a man who kept his secrets and affairs from me for 13 years. He's good at it. He has advanced skills in lying and compartmentalizing his life.

I don't give a damn who he dates I just want him to stick to the agreement the court signed off on. I told him you don't have to keep it a secret - I don't care.

Where does he find them? One woman after another. I wished him luck with the upcoming paternity suit and child support order.

uugghh.. its sort of embarrassing when your ex is a sleazebag.


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## Peeps678 (May 21, 2013)

Well, now its time for you to move forward with your life. Once everything is finalized...it'll feel like an even bigger weight has been lifted off. I hope things go smoothly!


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

I guess I am just baffled as to why he wants to see me all the time, I mean .. he left.. wanted a divorce, has been cheating throughout our marriage, and since I kicked him out, he's had 2 very public flings, one resulting in baby mama due in a few weeks.

Like what is his game? 

Not that it matters - I don't want to spend a second in his presence.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

He's clinging to decency, like a life preserver. You're a decent person and he is not. He's having a baby with a skank he has no respect for. Isn't he BPD? I think you're his lifeline to the person in him that wants to be respectable but just can't be because it's not who he truly is.

ETA: I think it will completely blow his mind when you start dating a truly decent man. The comparison will send him over the edge, I will bet.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

He's a police officer, believe it or not!

He confessed to the MC he also picked up women while "out on duty". Some poor woman who called the police - talk about preying on the vulnerable.

He's going to get what's coming to him. He pays me a small fortune in child support and alimony, and the skank is getting ready to sue him for child support. He won't be able to pay his bills.

He has the nerve to whine to me about how miserable his life is!! I mean its laughable...

Last week I had asked him to keep his porn movies (on his computer) away from our special needs son. He went off on a tangent about how "I have too many women in my life making demands on me". 

I just laughed in his face and said "and you put them all there". He's completely insane. The stuff that comes our of his mouth is complete crazy talk.


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Good for you for standing up for your son's needs. And especially for telling him "you put them all there". That's hilarious and gives him no room to play victim.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Yes I reminded him everything wrong in his life is a result of his very poor choices. He calls them mistakes. I call them choices.

I can't wait until I get the final judgment papers back from the court. The clerk told me it takes about a month since the clerk who prepares the judgments got her hours cut due to budget cuts, and they have more filings than ever thesedays.

When I do get them, I'm going to treat myself to a very expensive dinner at my all time favorite restaurant.
:smthumbup:


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

brokenbythis said:


> Yes I reminded him everything wrong in his life is a result of his very poor choices. He calls them mistakes. I call them choices.
> 
> I can't wait until I get the final judgment papers back from the court. The clerk told me it takes about a month since the clerk who prepares the judgments got her hours cut due to budget cuts, and they have more filings than ever thesedays.
> 
> ...


:smthumbup:

That's exactly what I did. Dinner (via the Alimony payment) was on my Ex. "Thanks Hon"!  :rofl:


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Let us know what you order!


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

survivorwife said:


> :smthumbup:
> 
> That's exactly what I did. Dinner (via the Alimony payment) was on my Ex. "Thanks Hon"!  :rofl:


Yep - when I'm ordering my $100 meal, blissfully by myself.. I will silently thank the exH for paying for my lovely meal via Alimony.


ps. It will be nice to dine at an upscale restaurant without my white trash exH shoveling food into his mouth like he's at a feeding trough, and after every single shovel grabbing a napkin and wiping the mess around his mouth. That used to always make me cringe...


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Idiot radar update:

Someone I work with had the nerve, yesterday, to imply I am a lazy, gold digger because I am getting unlimited alimony.

She said she "has a problem with women who get alimony year after year".

I piped up nice and loud and said "I wonder if you would feel the same way if your husband of 13 yrs had cheated and lied the entire time, abandoned your special needs child and you, got his daughter's friend pregnant and plastered it all over the internet. And I wonder if you would feel the same way if you had left your country, family, career and friends to marry a man you was led to believe really loved you, and now you were stuck here with no family, all alone, raising a child on the autism spectrum with no help or support".

That shut her up real quick.

Stupid woman. She should pull her head out of her azz..

Seriously, what planet do some of these people come from?


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Everyone's an expert. Drives me nuts how people just toss off shallow, mindless one-liners as if they're received wisdom. Good for you that you shut her up.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

And I"m sure she would have turned it down if she was in a similar situation, wouldn't she?


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

im going to get eaten alive her but i never paid on penny to my cheating ex in child support  ........i have our son weekdays her weekends. and i havent talked to her in 3 years now, my wife does all the communicating for me.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

As long as your child's not suffering because of it, I don't think anyone here is going to be upset if a cheater doesn't get child support.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

brokenbythis said:


> Yep - when I'm ordering my $100 meal, blissfully by myself.. I will silently thank the exH for paying for my lovely meal via Alimony.
> 
> 
> ps. It will be nice to dine at an upscale restaurant without my white trash exH shoveling food into his mouth like he's at a feeding trough, and after every single shovel grabbing a napkin and wiping the mess around his mouth. That used to always make me cringe...


:rofl: :lol: :rofl:

Mine used to ask for the ketchup bottle to go with his steak.  Then he would try to get cheap on the tip as well (which I would always have to either take control of the tipping or slip in a few extra dollars)

Those days are now over! :smthumbup:


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

My ex lives 2 miles away from me and not only doesn't pay me ANY support at all but is competing against me in my own business. So he's not only not giving me money but taking it out of my pocket. 

I refuse to talk to him at all. For almost 4 months we didn't communicate at all. Then my son went to live with him (which makes things better in a lot of ways) so now if we need to communicate it's via text. My son says that drives him crazy but that's just too damn bad. What the hell does he need to talk to me about? To play more mind-phuck games?

Don't wish for him to fall on hard times because how will you get your money from him if he doesn't have any? 

He sounds like a real mess and a half and it's a blessing that you got rid of him and you actually do get support and alimony. Congrats to you on that one! Probably helps that he has a good job so you WANT him to stay healthy and happy so that you can continue getting dinner paid for by him. :smthumbup:


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