# i filed and now im scared,he doesnt know



## alienatedandalonewith3 (Aug 9, 2011)

yesterday,i handed over my money i go tuesday to sign and file,

i feel good about my decision,but im scared to death
i cant imagine telling him but i know i need too

i planned on telling him while he was on a trip with his unit so he would have the support he needed when he finds out
and then taking his car and belongings to his friends house and dropping them off

if i told him in person im sure it would get physical or very ugly

i hate this feeling im scared to talk to him even over the phone
i know he will try and change my mind and talk me out of it
he will also tell me how much of a @@ck up iam and how bad of a wife iam
which i know im not!
im just tired of being blammed for everything from the world turning to the kids growing up too fast
im tired of not being comfortable in my own house,tired of hurrying and telling the kids we have too do this or that so dad doesnt get mad
tired of telling the kids ask your dad,for EVERYTHING
tired of arguing and defending my son against my husband who picks at him and makes excuses to punish him,for the stuipedest reasons,

yet here i sit and cant find the nerve to tell him its over im tired i cant live my life like this anymore

i want too email him but i feel its wrong
i know once i get past this i will grow way more confident and be a stronger person for me and my children
im just terrified
of the pain and the future
i know this isnt something that someone can tell me i need todo but i just cant feel 100%its the right thing im only 99.5%sure

if i file a restraining order everything will go to hell
he will lose his job and military career and me and the children will be homeless,
ive been stay at home mom for 12 years,
any advice or suggestions?


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## Girlx (Aug 19, 2011)

Why would a restraining order make him loose his job?

My Soon to be ex is military as well.. Im filing for a separation (now thinking of a divorce).

My advice is- if your scared to tell him let him find out from getting the papers.. You dont have to tell him you filed. He will find out when he gets the papers to sign.. But then he will be angry at you. Depending on where he is.. 

Is he here or on a deployment/tour?

And im in the same place.. I've been a stay at home mom for 3 years. Not near as long as you have but its still the fact i have no work for the last 3 years.. Making it hard to find a job.. I've been applying to so many for the last month and a half.. going no where over here.. 

((Hugs))


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