# Just existing at the 10 year marriage mark/ your thoughts please. Thanks



## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hello,

I am 52 and my wife is 62, We love each other but not like we used to. We are rocky and then not rocky without make up sex. I am at a point that I am not excited nor interested in about anything except getting employed. In the past decade I got a degree, a licensed high paying dream job that I had prepared for and wanted all my life. That story turned out to be a disaster in regards to no career success, bankruptcy, not keeping the job for more that a year and a half over ten years. Being unemployed makes it difficult to maintain a good stream of income for 8 years. My fault, the companies' fault, not asking the culture of the company for a good fit fault, etc. Losing my job, I came down with depression that wiped me out for two years. I am better and doing what I am supposed to do to get a job. I got work but lost my job again, and hopeful to get one soon, albeit I have been out of work for six months working part-time and volunteering between job searching. On anti-depressants that work well.

I just trying to get motivated to live a spirited happy life with GOD, myself, the world, and be happy and overjoyed a little. I am just so plain and have a feeling of anhedonia some times. What do I do about this. I am going to fake it until I make it. So the counselor tells me.. He also says that things will change when I get my work life and income life mojo back. Ie. a Job that pays well again or a job that I can do that can at least cover expenses.

What do I do about this. 
1. 28 y/o stepson wife refuses to tell him to get an apartment. Refuses for him to pay rent when he is making $50K.
2.House is messy and I don't clean it up because she does not allow me to except the 12 x 15 foot TV room.
3. Half the time I don't enjoy talking of anything intimate with her anymore. nor enjoy answering her cell phone calls to talk. We are not on that level, She thinks she is, but I am not. Were like roommates.
4. Sex is non-existent and so boring I don't try any more romancing. 
5. I am too embarrassed to ask for other things, normal things in bed. She can't have an orgasm with me providing it.
6. I have to ask to make love. She never has initiated making love.
7. Never cooked a romantic dinner She can't cook except three things in her repertoire. I just cook for myself and we never eat together except when we go out.
8. She has she ever wore a Walmart cutie short night gown
9.Sex lasts 10 minutes. 
10. I don't really feel happy, sad, angry, 
11. I have diabetes, that effects everything, health is down 20%.
Can't hold a job yet on long-term nature,
Depressed half the time.
I've worked two years straight 7 days with only 5 days off, and a few holiday off.
She isn't sure if I will have another about of depression. For now it seems no and done with.
12. I need to lose weight when my broken foot heals.
13. i just don't have the mental energy and physical energy to put more energy into it without any of my love bank being filled by my wife. I am tired of filling hers with no return on investment.
14. We've discussed these things, but she is happy go lucky. 
15. I show love and affection to her but she is oblivious how I feel. We have talked about the above several time about the above to no resolution and we don't want counselling.

Any advise to get out of my dead-zone?
Thanks.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Sometimes, it's better to start counting your blessings, and realizing that life isn't all that bad when you start thinking of all you have to be grateful for. If you dwell on the negative, negative things will happen. My advice would be to wake up everyday, grateful. Optimistic of what the day brings. This might actually change the light on your marriage, and help you find a job. Be positive.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

That's quite the list! It's overwhelming just to read through it; I would imagine that it's overwhelming for you to think about it. I would recommend breaking down your "list" quite a bit more so it's not so overwhelming. Just focus on 1 thing at a time AND only those things that YOU can control. 

For example, the house is messy. Who cares that she's doesn't "allow" you to clean it?! What does she do? Physically restrain you when you clean the toilet? I seriously doubt that. Clean the house if you WANT to clean it. If she doesn't want you to touch her things, then don't touch them. You can clean under them or around them. If her reaction to your cleaning is bothering you, then do it when she's not around. 

Bottom line is, just work on 1 thing at a time and only work on the things that you have control over. Then, start making a list of the things that are good in your life.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Davidmidwest said:


> 12. I need to lose weight when my broken foot heals.


OK, I got THIS! 

Weight loss is overwhelmingly about what you eat. Feeling like you can't loose weight until you are able to exercise and your foot is feeling better is an excuse you have made up for yourself to not have to loose weight. 

If you are diabetic, then you understand what it means to control you diet. Cut down your sodium and carbohydrates in favor of fiber and proteins and you will be surprised. Since everyone is different, have you doctor recommend a dietician that can review your medical history and come up with a plan to help you based on your current situation.

Of course, easier said than done. Particularly if your other family members are running around the house bringing you pop and pizza when you get hungry. 

Badsanta


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Davidmidwest said:


> I am 52 and my wife is 62, We love each other but not like we used to. We are rocky and then not rocky without make up sex. I am at a point that I am not excited nor interested in about anything except getting employed. In the past decade I got a degree, a licensed high paying dream job that I had prepared for and wanted all my life. That story turned out to be a disaster in regards to no career success, bankruptcy, not keeping the job for more that a year and a half over ten years. Being unemployed makes it difficult to maintain a good stream of income for 8 years. My fault, the companies' fault, not asking the culture of the company for a good fit fault, etc. Losing my job, I came down with depression that wiped me out for two years. I am better and doing what I am supposed to do to get a job. I got work but lost my job again, and hopeful to get one soon, albeit I have been out of work for six months working part-time and volunteering between job searching. On anti-depressants that work well.
> 
> I just trying to get motivated to live a spirited happy life with GOD, myself, the world, and be happy and overjoyed a little. I am just so plain and have a feeling of anhedonia some times. What do I do about this. I am going to fake it until I make it. So the counselor tells me.. He also says that things will change when I get my work life and income life mojo back. Ie. a Job that pays well again or a job that I can do that can at least cover expenses.


10 years and you've only been gainfully employed for 2 of them? No wonder she has lost respect and attraction for you.



Davidmidwest said:


> Any advise to get out of my dead-zone?


Yes, get a job and KEEP it. Sorry to be blunt but you need to understand something.

Just like you your sexual needs are not being met neither is hers. For you to be a provider. That's what most women want. You don't have to be a millionaire but you need to at least PULL your weight. She doesn't feel safe or nurtured with an unemployed man. Woman need SECURITY, you offer none whatsoever, then you wonder why she won't jump your bones.

Get your sh!t together man. Stop with weak excuses (e.g. "culture of the company".... seriously?!?) Even if you worked full time at home depot or something an honest days work is hot to a woman, not mooching off others or the gov't dime. Stop whining about the sex, when you get a decent full time job come back to us then we can actually help you.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

David,

This is kind of personal, and perhaps a little bit of a threadjack, BUT:

That is a big difference of age for any couple; but for a woman to be 10 years older than her husband is still kinda "out there" and unusual.

In my heart-of-hearts, ideally, I wish that age had nothing to do with love, and it just didn't matter.

But, sadly, reality comes calling. She went through menopause about 10 years ago, right? She was 52, you were 42. Some women's sex drive skyrockets after menopause; but most women's don't. Meanwhile, 42 year old guys are not usually ready to settle for a low-to-no sex marriage.

And most women's looks really start to take a beating at 50-ish. You can stay appealing and attractive; but to a guy 10 years younger?? I don't know.

Does any of the above sound like it applies?


If it's not too nosy, may I ask why you pursued a long-term relationship with a woman so much older than you?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

You don't work, yet you cook dinner for you only?

Does your wife work?

What do your contribute to the household?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

notmyrealname4 said:


> David,
> 
> This is kind of personal, and perhaps a little bit of a threadjack, BUT:
> 
> ...



Mens looks diminish too, as much as they'd like to think otherwise. If they have some money they might be able to get someone younger.

Since he's barely worked in 10 years and doesn't appear to contribute much to the household except for whining about his poor sex life, he's a poor prospect for a younger woman. 

If I'm wrong hopefully he'll correct me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> Mens looks diminish too, as much as they'd like to think otherwise. If they have some money they might be able to get someone younger.
> 
> Since he's barely worked in 10 years and doesn't appear to contribute much to the household except for whining about his poor sex life, he's a poor prospect for a younger woman.
> 
> ...



Oh for sure. I actually wish people could marry whatever legal-aged person they want.

But, like I said, reality poses some major hurdles; some singular ones for women married to much younger men.

And, yeah, there's lots going on here that is much more important than how old each partner is.

I admit, this is a dynamic that kind of fascinates and horrifies me; women with guys 10+ years younger. I feel for the woman; I think it's just a matter of time until she gets really hurt.

I know there are exceptions; and I'm glad that there are. But overall I would never get involved in such a relationship, and would warn off any friend (or internet stranger) from getting involved in one.


I know your husband is 20+/- years older, life, so you know a lot about this dynamic the other way around; which puts you in the more desirable position. I'm glad for you.

And, yes, men's looks fade too. A lot of men even give up on basics, like semi-regular dental cleanings :crazy:.

But the expectations are much lower for them physically (I don't approve of that, I'm just saying that's how it is, overall); and they can father children much later into life; even into their 70's and 80's if they are healthy enough.


@Davidmidwest

How has your age difference impacted your relationship; if you feel it has made an impact?


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hi Jorgene,

Wow what a quick response from anybody. I do count my blessings. I pray daily and just as long as I do that, show love, and not beat myself up about things i believe, I know things will get better. Just acting positive is a boost when one does not feel like it. Thank you.
David


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hi Not my and Spicy,
Thank you. Your post indicated to me I am wimping out on the chores. Thinking about it from your point of view makes sense and I didn't think of it that way. I took it personal. Cool. I'll start doing more.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

My friend I think to dig yourself out of the hole you should start trying to take control over what you can take control over. Like your weight. Also it has to be asked why have lost all these jobs, what field are you it, is it because the field is not stable or is there something else that maybe you are unaware of, or maybe you are aware of it. Your 52 your going to have at least another 20 years of work so you need to figure this all out.


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hi Badsanta,
Thanks for writing. Wow these posts are good for me. I see people helping me out. I did contact my doctor to get a referral to an endocrinologist and an appointment with my Diabetes Nurse Practitioner to discuss improved medication options. I see a dietitian every three months. 
i hit or miss on healthy eating. It is all about portion control. This week i portioned out my meals very tightly. I did that in September with good results. luckily my wife is working with me to not have candy nor white food items around for me to sneak. I am so happy for that. I do have a lot of rabbit food. When I am really hungry I can eat three cups of raw veggies with no effect on sugar levels. If it is checking out the fridge out of habit will not eat my veggies; besides, nothing has changed in the fridge when I check it an hour later-LOL. As for exercise, yeah, I an procrastinating because I have a small dumbbell set to work on the upper body. I need to do as you say. You should be glad to hear that I and my wife take a 3/4 walk, I in my wheelchair twice a week. That lowers my blood sugar levels by 75 or more points.

Thank you.
David


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Dear anonymous, 
Sorry I perhaps misstated my work history. God, If I only worked two years out of ten, my wife would have divorced me or shoot me dead long ago.
I do work hard, two jobs to make ends meet.
2006-2009 December- fund raiser. did not make goal in revenue in 2009. I was replaced. I did not like the boss, didn't see I to eye.
2010-2010 interim job nursing home administrator 6 mo 
2010-2010 interim job nursing home administrator 4 mo
2010-2011, nursing hone administrator 1 year 1 mo. 45% pay cut.
2011-2014 June nursing home administrator lost job due to survey results, Boy what a bad survey. Owners don't like those.
2015 to present. working a retail job and trying to get back into the industry.
from 2006 to 2014 I made 65K, in northern Illinois one needs to make 90K if you own a home, hubby and wife have a car each, and carry 300 a month in school loans.
I am not a deadbeat and my wife is my cheerleader even though I am a negative putz. I am seeking to change careers since it isn't a good industry for me. My wife is supportive just as long as I treat her well and do my earnest to get out from being underemployed. Thanks, Wow. I just found a blessing!!!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

notmyrealname4 said:


> But the expectations are much lower for them physically (I don't approve of that, I'm just saying that's how it is, overall); and they can father children much later into life; even into their 70's and 80's if they are healthy enough.


This isn't true, though. They used to think it was true and that men's fertility was endless but women's wasn't. Now they know better.

It doesn't make sense that nature would make the rules different for men and women. Turns out, she didn't.

http://yourfertility.org.au/for-men/age/


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hi notmyrealname 4

My wife's and my looks really have not diminished, at least not to each other. We've gained a little weight called the muffin-top. I thinks she still looks fantastic. I misstated my job history, I had steady employment somewhat, but nothing lead to longevity. I posted an example some where on her responding to a post. My wife would have walked out on me long ago if she really thought I was a deadbeat. 

I know you think I am just whining about my sex life and I agree that I am poor prospect for a younger woman, but I don't really want another woman than the one I have. You know the song by Katie Perry? "When your hot then you're cold" I flip flop like the weather in Chicago. I am blaming her really because I an recovering from depression, and that testosterone cream is really expensive, like $200.00 a month at the dosage I need. So when I am down emotionally, instead of wallowing I make sure positiveness comes from my actions and my speech. That goes a long way when we get in the mood.

Sorry for the long thread. Torture I am sure
Thank you.
David


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hi,

Thanks for writing again,

I do work, see prior thread. Right now I work part-time, volunteer, and look for work.
I cook for us both, but she does not like what I make. If I make burgers or steak she will dive right in; She does make Chilli and otherwise, she says no thank you to most things I make. Yes my wife works. I contribute money to the household do minimal chores, like weekly yard work but not as late, and a lot of dishes, I keep the kitchen spotless since I use it all the time.

By the way you wrote asking why I married her being ten years older. I was single for six years. I got this weird premonition of which i was praying to find a mate. I got this little birdy telling me that I would meet a woman to marry at church on a Wednesday night. Shazam, that is what happened. I don't think it was a mistake; although, I did rush things and was in love.

Posted via Mobile Device


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hello, thanks for writing. 
You ask how has our or my age difference impacted your/ours relationship; if you feel it has made an impact?

It never has been a topic of contention. We get along and enjoy each others company. Looking back a decade ago I am sure I would of made the same choice to marry her, but I would have done it this way: date a longer period of time like two years not one. Have more outings to see how the teenagers get along and how we interact with the other partner kids, and then decide. I can't really tell you if I was desperate or not.

After we got married my wife an her two kids gave my kid a royal cold shoulder. When I noticed that i should of hightailed it out of there then because it really ruined the relationship wit my son. I was young enough back then, age 41 or 42 where I could of waited for a woman my age or one in her 30's to fall in love with and to have another child. At 52 I regret that. Although I think it was a divine plot to marry my wife I could have used better discernment. As you know we make our beds which we have to sleep in. Sometimes the choices we make in mid-life definitely do not allow a do-over. 

i never was attractive to all the younger women whom I've courted. I was told by one at age thirty three who was brutally honest with me after a few dates. She told me that i have the confidence, treat her well, I am fun, but with me having no bassets, no home ownership, no degree, no job success, no career, you have $3,000 in debt, you can't spend more than $150.00 a month on a date, and make no more money than $28,000.00 you are wasting my time. That was totally brutal but true, She asked me into her house and showed me around. The final remark was this... this is what you should have accomplished at age 26 being single. That was worse than a "Shark Tank" I am out by Mr. Wonderful's negative tirades. 

After that comment it took me ten years to earn my degree and become a nursing home administrator and make good money. It took ten years go go from $28,000 a year to almost triple that at age 42.

I don't know what gives. but from the age of 22 and getting out of the military and not having a clue about life, careers, what to achieve to become a success has eluded me due to no common sense, nor any father figure to advise me. I developed that sense years later and too late.

It is all my fault due to the choices I made and the choices I failed to learn about so that i could discern a successful path earlier. You should know the lack of knowledge or not being able to think your way out of a paper bag is a real detriment at any age. By the way I flunked out of pre-med at age 23. Chemistry killed me and I ran out of money.

Thank you

I appreciate you corresponding with me.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

notmyrealname4 said:


> David,
> 
> This is kind of personal, and perhaps a little bit of a threadjack, BUT:
> 
> ...


It's not a thread jack at all... very applicable in many ways.

I am there with you in the age differences Davidmidwest... but at 54 and my wife being 64, I do know.. it's the accepting the differences in drives that throws us for a loop.

My wife hit menopause at 55... when the flashes subsided, so did her outward lust. That didn't mean she wasn't enjoying it when we were physically intimate, it just wasn't foremost in her need's bank... presence was.

Still is, and in spades at times... seems the more years that pass us the more she needs me (self) and less my self-like sexuality. 

10 years difference is no less doable than any other age difference, but your minds have to be on the same retirement schedule at this stage or else there will be frustrations.


I wrote a page and a half last night when I saw your post first hit... but I hated the tone of it so never posted it. I'll try to nutshell it:

If the mind isn't recognizing healthy habits and needs, the body suffers...

If the body isn't recognizing healthy habits and needs, the mind suffers...

If the mind and body are not recognizing presence and purpose, our relationships suffer.

The first relationship that suffers is your own with yourself... depression is a serious marker in may ways that wipes out our self-love. We have to love who we are before we can love others... 

You beat yourself up pretty badly... not just throwing yourself down the path but you must have hit every rock on it in your opening post. We don't have that much armor to get away unscathed... not one of us and it's much easier to remove the stones than to armor up time and time again or you will lose those things you need to be calm and content... compassion and empathy and just end up a hardened old soul.

It's not hard to eat healthy, what is hard is taking back the control to do so and an injured foot is no excuse for watching the quality and portions, you cannot control what she eats so make two dinners at the same time... grill her burger and your salmon, make her chili and your lentil soups together... most use the same ingredients except for the fats, sugars and salt.

And exercise... Yoga and upper body TaiChi will tie your mind and muscles together in a fluidity of mindfulness, and meditation... I wouldn't be a caring Buddhist if I didn't complement my paragragh with that! 

Your other relationships sound like there are some challenges as well... but if you aren't right with yourself, they will manifest into things they aren't. Your stepson is still at home... that is a mood killer right there for snuggling in the best of moments. Why is he in the home? I understand a hand up if needed, but what is her motivation for him being there? You will need patience to understand and navigate what might be a sensitive area if it is more than just a short period of assistance in tough times.

You have shared many good things you are doing, sounds a lot different than your first post... good!

I'd say your list has a few less lines on it already.

Peace be with you...


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> This isn't true, though. They used to think it was true and that men's fertility was endless but women's wasn't. Now they know better.
> 
> It doesn't make sense that nature would make the rules different for men and women. Turns out, she didn't.
> 
> A man?s age matters




Thanks for the link.

And, of course a man's fertility, looks, health etc. decline as he gets older. Not to mention energy levels. Can a 55+ dad really give piggy back rides and play ball at the same level a 30 year old dad? Of course not. Ideally, you have kids before all of your youth has expired.

But women do typically completely lose the ability to have children at approximately 50 +/- a few years either way. And thank God for that!!! Can you imagine having to risk pregnancy along with the rest of the aging process, yikes.

Because men don't have a fraction of the reproductive duties that women do; they are able to continue reproducing longer.


Here's a really famous example; Andres Segovia, the late classical guitar player. He fathered a child at 77; his wife was 22; and no doubt her youth and fertility greatly facilitated him being able to be fertile. But it was remarkable:




> Segovia's first marriage ended in divorce in 1951. In 1961 he married a 22-year-old guitarist, Emilia Corral Sancho, a student of his. Their son, Carlos Andres, now 17, *was born when Segovia was 77 years old.* A son, Andres, and a daughter, Beatrice, by his first wife were born more than half a century before Carlos Andres. *He once told an interviewer, ''I am more celebrated for being a father than an artist*.''



Andres Segovie Is Dead at 94; His Crusade Elevated Guitar


And, a more contemporary example, President-elect Donald Trump was 59/60 when Barron Trump was born. I think Melania was 36 (correct me if I'm wrong).

I've never heard of a woman having a child naturally at 59/60 years old. And I can't imagine why you would want to be pregnant at that age. I *do* think that nature did women a favor in cutting off the risk of getting pregnant at middle-age.

And I know those two examples are of men who had somewhat "soft" lifestyles: a classical musician and a business tycoon. Neither one of them did the type of hard, body wearying work that a lot of men tend to do. Plus, Donald Trump at least, has the very best in lifestyle and medical care. That can help too.


I'm not an advocate of grampa-dads; I think having younger, more vital parents is probably better for kids. And I concede that men's fertility wanes as they age.

But nothing like women's fertility; which comes to a complete stop.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Davidmidwest said:


> Hi Badsanta,
> Thanks for writing. Wow these posts are good for me. I see people helping me out. I did contact my doctor to get a referral to an endocrinologist and an appointment with my Diabetes Nurse Practitioner to discuss improved medication options. I see a dietitian every three months.
> i hit or miss on healthy eating. *It is all about portion control.* This week i portioned out my meals very tightly. I did that in September with good results. luckily my wife is working with me to not have candy nor white food items around for me to sneak. I am so happy for that. I do have a lot of rabbit food. When I am really hungry I can eat three cups of raw veggies with no effect on sugar levels. If it is checking out the fridge out of habit will not eat my veggies; besides, nothing has changed in the fridge when I check it an hour later-LOL. As for exercise, yeah, I an procrastinating because I have a small dumbbell set to work on the upper body. I need to do as you say. You should be glad to hear that I and my wife take a 3/4 walk, I in my wheelchair twice a week. That lowers my blood sugar levels by 75 or more points.
> 
> ...


Yeah... candy, don't have that stuff in the house! 

Try those sugar free jello's with a dab of whip cream on top. Those make a great snack and the pectin in jello is considered a fiber that helps your digestive system feel full. Then for you calories try to sprinkle a few walnuts in here and there on your snacks to give it some flavor and healthy oils. New research shows that walnuts are helpful with diabetes. But as with everything else it is all about portion control, so don't binge on them, just sprinkle a few here and there to help improve the flavor of what you are eating and help you feel full. 

Badsanta


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Deidre* said:


> Sometimes, it's better to start counting your blessings, and realizing that life isn't all that bad when you start thinking of all you have to be grateful for. If you dwell on the negative, negative things will happen. My advice would be to wake up everyday, grateful. Optimistic of what the day brings. This might actually change the light on your marriage, and help you find a job. Be positive.


Diedre's post caught me off guard.

Thanksgiving is almost here. This is the theme of this great non-political/non-religious holiday.

The glass is half-full, not half-empty sentiment. I like this.

Just being alive and breathing sweet air and feeling the sun on one's face is joy. Having friends and family adds to the "plus" list.

Thank you @deidre !


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Davidmidwest said:


> You should be glad to hear that I and my wife take a 3/4 mile walk, myself i*n my wheelchair* twice a week. That lowers my blood sugar levels by 75 or more points.
> 
> Thank you.
> David


Are you wheelchair bound? Sounds like this is the case "some" of the time.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

BetrayedDad said:


> 10 years and you've only been gainfully employed for 2 of them? No wonder she has lost respect and attraction for you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I totally disagree. If women want everything to be equal all the time, why the hell is it so important for MEN to be the provider. Why can't women be expected to do their share as men are? Women want it both ways, they want security in case they can't get for themselves but if they can make money they want to always have a man to fall back on in case their lifestyle isn't as grand as they want. The responsibility, then, remains with the man to provide without women having to take on any responsibility. If women demand not only security but equality in the workplace, then that obviates the need for security since they can get that on their own. 

If society is to treat women equal they would then have to take on the responsibility to provide sex to their spouse while also being responsible to provide for the family just as men are. Your arguments don't work if women demand to be equal partners in everything. It's like buying a house from someone saying I want to live in the house but I don't want to pay for it. How likely is someone to agree to that?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

jb02157 said:


> I totally disagree. If women want everything to be equal all the time, why the hell is it so important for MEN to be the provider. Why can't women be expected to do their share as men are?


I think you misunderstood. Men need to be equal or better financial providers.

Since we no longer hunt for our food, money is the new modern animal.

That's why MANY SAHDs run into trouble. It defies a million years of evolution.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

BetrayedDad said:


> I think you misunderstood. Men need to be equal or better financial providers.
> 
> Since we no longer hunt for our food, money is the new modern animal.
> 
> That's why MANY SAHDs run into trouble. It defies a million years of evolution.


Equal, yes, but why do men need to be better financial providers if women demand equality? I agree it blows up millions of years of evolution, it wasn't meant to be that way. If your force fit society to fit whims of women you'll have other more difficult problems to solve.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

They just do. Rail at it all you want, women biologically and psychologically need a strong man who 'protects' her. Today it doesn't mean beating another man senseless and stealing her away; it means giving her mental confidence that he will take care of things. 

OP, you seem like a nice guy, but you also seem to not have a strong defined sense of being. Go read the thread of Lonely Husband 42301 to get an idea of what I mean by that. He knows what's right and wrong; he knows what he won't accept in life; he focuses in on what he needs to succeed; he doesn't flip flop around - he instead works at something until he's so good at it that he succeeds. 

You? Not so much. You blame a survey for you losing the job you held the longest? And that was only four years? :0

A person with a stronger core might have instead looked long and hard into himself to see where he went wrong and charted a course to change that. 

You 'let' people basically make you give up your son cos they ganged up against him? He's still alive, isn't he? What's stopping you from fixing it now? Oh yeah: you.

We have a friend your age who's earning about $20,000/year as a guard, his two adult kids live with him and pay nothing; I tried to help him get a better job. A friend told me not to bother; I asked why. He said 'cos he's lazy. He'll never work hard enough to better himself.' 

I'm not saying you're lazy, if you are indeed working two jobs. I'm saying you're unfocused. Work on that and I daresay the depression, listlessness, unhappiness, and probably even diabetes (through focused eating) would go away.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

turnera said:


> They just do. Rail at it all you want, women biologically and psychologically need a strong man who 'protects' her.


Wrong. The woman of "today" says she doesn't need a man and demands equality. You can't have in both ways. Either women are "biologically and psychologically need a strong man who 'protects' her" or they are equal and can make it on her own with no man. Which is it?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Men and women are equally ignorant to what our bodies/minds want as opposed to what our current, in-this-state personalities want. I can say I hate chocolate all I want, don't need it, but my subconscious/physical presence will give me away every time.


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Hi
Yes =, have wheelchair for three more weeks.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

notmyrealname4 said:


> But, yeah, equality is equality. You can't demand to be taken seriously as an equal; while still expecting to be given a lighter load.


Yes, in a nutshell this is what I intended on saying.


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