# Would you or not???



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

So here it is....single mom of five boys ages 5-14. Run the other way as fast as possible or give her (and them) a chance? Of course approach this question as if you were single...if you are not. lol


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Would give a chance...


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

15 years ago I would have given her a chance.

I`ve been bitten once already, I`m too shy now.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Is she rich?


----------



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

ha ha....not even close! But shes good in bed and loves sex (obviously!) lol


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

aug said:


> Is she rich?


Oh, you mean you?


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

raising5boyz said:


> ha ha....not even close! But shes good in bed and loves sex (obviously!) lol


OK then - would give SEVERAL chances!


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

raising5boyz said:


> ha ha....not even close! But shes good in bed and loves sex (obviously!) lol


and kids!


----------



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

nice777 guy....lol....several chances....too funny....

Aug...a similar post was made elsewhere, then brought to the mens forum....yes, I do have five boys.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

raising5boyz said:


> nice777 guy....lol....several chances....too funny....
> 
> Aug...a similar post was made elsewhere, then brought to the mens forum....yes, I do have five boys.


Sorry - using humor - but not meant to be totally "funny"

I have two girls - how does that compare? Would some women be turned off by that? Hope not....


----------



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

I don't think so. I did the step-kids/step-mom thing. Usually men don't have their kids full time, so the demands are much different. Also makes a difference how the kids have been raised. If parenting styles are at least similar, as well as expectations....it's not as hard as some people make it out to be IMO.

It was just how it was put....made me think that you would give as many chances in direct relation to how much sex you want! lol


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

raising5boyz said:


> I don't think so. I did the step-kids/step-mom thing. Usually men don't have their kids full time, so the demands are much different. Also makes a difference how the kids have been raised. If parenting styles are at least similar, as well as expectations....it's not as hard as some people make it out to be IMO.
> 
> It was just how it was put....made me think that you would give as many chances in direct relation to how much sex you want! lol


Sorry - that was my "joke." But really - it would depend on you - how well your kids were behaved - a lot of other things.

But I wouldn't run to the hills at the simple mention of a few boys at home. At least not if I really liked you!


----------



## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

Woman posting here, FYI... but I always had one hard and fast dating rule. ABSOLUTELY NO KIDS. I wouldn't give a guy with even 1 kid a chance. It's the only thing I would never compromise on. (And I've compromised on a lot in the past - smoking, drugs, unemployed, etc.)


----------



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

This is interesting....so far between both posts....there are more no's then yes's....but most of the no's are from woman! Not what I was expecting ...but interesting none the less!

@nice777guy...it's all good....just made me laugh! And I would certainly expect that you would really have to like the woman and the kids....but personally I think good for you for not letting some boys run you off!


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Going to depend upon the experience of the man.

I already have 2 young kids. One with special needs. I am extremely sensitive to the idea of co-mingled families.

And in my relationship with my ex, I was back-burnered by 2 kids, I can't imagine the demands of 5.

I'd date her. I wouldn't invest in a LTR with her.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

no. too much. if I get divorced I would not date or seek companionship with someone who had young children. I did my time with my own and don't want to be bothered with someone responsibilities.

once my children are grown then I can start my life again.


----------



## OOE (Mar 17, 2011)

Ten years ago, maybe. My youngest is 12, though, and I'm looking forward to the day when I have more independence... er... I mean when he does. 

I wouldn't run, but it would have to be pretty special to make me willing to step into that kind of responsibility.

Pets are the same, albeit on a much smaller scale.

I love dogs, and in my past life had a couple. However, I have come to appreciate the freedom that comes from not having a pet - more than I enjoy having one around.


----------



## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

5 boys wouldn't scare me off. I think it would be fun as I've only raised a girl.

But.....a big factor would be setting rules about discipline. I've seen other men who entered such a relationship be told that they have no business setting boundaries concerning the step kids behavior. The kids would say, "Your not my real Dad, You can't tell me what to do!". 

That caused huge agruements between the couples, one ended in divorce with the man stating his primary reason was that the kids walked all over him, disrespected him, and the woman backed the kids, not him.


----------



## oldfashioned1 (Oct 26, 2011)

Based on watching my husbands single friends dating, and on what I have overheard some single mothers(just some) say. I would give it a try bUT the second time she asked to borrow money or have you pay for something, i would run. I've seen alot of women with children purposely use men because they need financial help and not because they are looking for a relationship. Some, not all, so please dont shoot me for saying it.


----------



## Locard (May 26, 2011)

How many daddies?


----------



## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I would imagine the best fit would be a divorced man who has kids of a similar age that he has partial access to since his divorce. It might serve as good therapy for him. 

I know I would if I was young, divorced, and had kids I have limited access to.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

raising5boyz said:


> This is interesting....so far between both posts....there are more no's then yes's....but most of the no's are from woman! Not what I was expecting ...but interesting none the less!
> 
> @nice777guy...it's all good....just made me laugh! And I would certainly expect that you would really have to like the woman and the kids....but personally I think good for you for not letting some boys run you off!


There are more "nos" from women because women don't want to 1. deal with an ex wife/gf and 2. want to raise their own kids IF they choose to have them. They don't want to deal with raising someone else's kids unless the mother was really NOT in the picture. Or that's just how I feel about it...maybe not all women LOL

I dated a man with a kid. Loved the kid, the man was ok, but his ex was a NIGHTMARE!  No thanks.

I had a kid when I met my hubs, but her dad is chill and we had a good situation/co-parenting thing and he stayed out of our business and didn't cause drama.

I let Hubs discipline "our" daughter. She is with us fulltime now so he and I set the rules and he is raising her as his own. I was raised by a stepdad who was awesome. It was never weird for me. 

I just didn't want an ex woman involved. lol.


----------



## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

Locard said:


> How many daddies?


This is a very good question. I know a couple guys with several kids
One guy has 8 with 6 babies mommas ( a set of twins he even told some dumb chick that only one of the twins was his and she believed him) 
Other guy has 7 with 6 babies mommas 

No way would I get involved in that drama


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

that_girl said:


> There are more "nos" from women because women don't want to 1. deal with an ex wife/gf and 2. want to raise their own kids IF they choose to have them. They don't want to deal with raising someone else's kids unless the mother was really NOT in the picture. Or that's just how I feel about it...maybe not all women LOL
> 
> I dated a man with a kid. Loved the kid, the man was ok, but his ex was a NIGHTMARE!  No thanks.
> 
> ...


We'll notice that it's usually women who are more difficult to deal with. It's women who usually don't get along. Look at all the relationships, mothers-in-law don't get along with daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law don't get along with each other. 

We just talked about female hormones in the other thread, I think we can see the reason.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> We'll notice that it's usually women who are more difficult to deal with. It's women who usually don't get along. Look at all the relationships, mothers-in-law don't get along with daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law don't get along with each other.
> 
> We just talked about female hormones in the other thread, I think we can see the reason.


That, and, I don't want any other woman raising my kids  I don't have any issues with older daughter's dad. He dates, but he's like a cat and never has gfs. lol. He doesn't bring his women around our kid when he has her.

So, I think that's why the exes are the way they are. Can't blame them, but I dont' want to deal with them either.


----------



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Well....since this is me we are talking about....lol....there are two fathers. One of my first four. He is involved, and we get along well. One from my second husband, who is not involved any more than an occasional phone call. 

I don't really want to go into my divorces anymore than to say I trust too much, too easily. My first husband was abusive, my second cheated with lots and lots of women. I would like to claim I was an overall good wife, mother, lover....so both ex's say anyways....but we all have our issues and I am no exception!  


As for ex wives....I guess I can understand that. It can be extremely difficult to deal with other women in the picture in any capacity. lol

Yardman...if you are single you can pm me! lol Jk 

These boys....they are fun! They keep me on my toes....that's for sure!!!


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

way too much responsibilty.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

is she overweight?


----------



## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Probably not. My kids will be out of the house by the time I'm 45. I'm looking forward to the years after. If I found myself single I doubt I would date someone with kids that would be in the house past the time mine are scheduled to move on. 2 kids with 2 parents is work. Don't know how you deal with 5 by yourself. God Speed.


----------



## LongTallStewie (Dec 5, 2011)

It wouldn't put me off dating but a lot of issues would have to be worked out before it got serious. (those issues being how I got on with them, yours and their relationship with your ex's.)


----------



## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

The kids are a plus, IMO. I have 5, as well. They add so much to one's life.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I think it is a whole package, meaning besides the kids, what do you and she have going for you.... do your personalities/temperments work well together, do you like & appreicate the same things, have similar goals, is the sex life satisfying- and of coarse how well do you get along with these kids, how do they feel about you? 

I have 5 left at home, I am not terribly doting to my kids, If I was widowed someday, I would hope someone wouldn't throw me to the curb over that -without giving me a chance. My kids are pretty darn well behaved. They have been pretty easy to raise for the most part.


----------



## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Your dating the mom, not the mom and 4 boys.

Id give the relationship a few months before starting to worry about her kids.


----------



## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

SockPuppet said:


> Your dating the mom, not the mom and 4 boys.


There is no way you're not dating the 5 kids.


----------

