# Help on Manning Up Now That I'm on my way to divorce?



## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

In this thread http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/26773-think-my-wife-ea-how-confront-2.html, I talk about my wife's EA and how she wants a divorce.

As I go through this and get settled, I want to continue manning up for the next woman that enters my life (and she will; it's all a matter of time). 

What do you gents suggest I do since I don't have a woman to practice on anymore?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

You have a great opportunity to Man Up, which is your sep and divorce. Man up through your divorce, by holding her accountable for not working at marriage. Don't be nasty or turn it into a war but your mode of operation should be:
-- She chose not to work at being a wife in her marriage.
-- Lack of passion is just an excuse for someone who does not want to work at marriage.
-- Passion wanes in all marriages, but quality women recognize that work is required in a relationship.
-- YOu recognize that a marriage takes alot of effort.
-- Your children's needs are to be protected in a divorce, and that spills over into learning the lesson of holding people accountable, keeping them away from influences that include unemployed losers.
-- You are looking forward to the divorce becoming final so a quality woman can come into your life.
-- Your life is going to get disrupted to the lowest extent possible including she moves out of bed, house.
-- You will hold her accountable for not being a quality wife, but you will hold no anger, bitterness or strong emotion that looks like you are needy and weak.
-- You entertain no discussions about what you did wrong, because "anything I ever did is nothing compared to infidelity. I regret that I chose a cheater for a wife."
-- Without sounding bitter, state repeatedly that the other man is an unemployed loser and you are sure she will have a great future with him.
-- The person who is destroying the marriage should not be protected and coddled for the sake of children.
--Keeping friends and family in the dark means you are supporting the concept of cheating, and telling people is done becuase you feel you have a moral obligation for people in her inner circle to know what she is made of.
--Keeping his wife in the dark is also morally wrong.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

jbird,

Hit the gym. Live your life.

Anything you've "let go" that she didn't like? Bring it right back.

Connect with old friends - especially those she didn't approve of.

There likely have been many people hesitant to call you on the phone. Call them. Especially those she didn't approve of.

Sporting events. Outdoor stuff. Get a motorcycle.

Anything goes.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Thanks guys.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Take lessons before you buy a bike.

Iron Horse Taming : Motorcycle Instruction : St. Louis Missouri is a place that gives great lessons. Not sure where you live, but any bike shop will have info on similar businesses in your area.


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