# Tired and depressed



## mbs (Dec 1, 2010)

I’m new here and am hoping to hear some advice or just a little support that I’m right in wanting a divorce. Here’s my story, sorry it’s so long but it’s hard to shorten 25 yrs of marriage into a few sentences. Our marriage has had it’s ups and downs but honestly it has been rough most of the time. It has gotten so the past few years that I honestly don’t like to spend much time with him because we end up arguing. According to him nothing I do or say is right or not done the way he thinks it should be done. We disagree on disciplining our 16 yr old daughter, he is very strict and thinks I am way too lenient. The problem is not just our daughter but right now that is the main focus. This last episode may/probably was the deal breaker, even if he says he wants to work things out I’m not sure I do anymore. I’m sick of walking on eggshells all the time and none of us are really happy. Daughter stayed home sick from school, she called me later that am asking if she could go to the store for medicine and soup, I gave her permission so she went. She saw a co-worker walking in town, the weather was bad so she offered him a ride to the store. Dad saw her and had a fit, made a huge scene….was really ugly. He jumped to the conclusion that she was skipping school and running around (having sex) with the boy. He drove off, daughter went home. Dad was waiting for her at home and proceeded to have another fit, then actually slashed all 4 tires on her truck. Daughter called me in hysterics, I had to leave work and go home. He refused to return calls or to talk to me about what happened. This was 2 days ago and still not talking except to call names and say he is leaving as soon as he can. We/he have other major problems in the past where he has acted similarly but have managed to stay together somehow. Daughter at this point never wants to see her father again. Does anyone see any chance here? Should I stay with him or push the divorce?? Right now I’m just a mix of emotions….mad, sad, scared, you name it.


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## Applepies (Nov 14, 2010)

You don't have to make big decisions right now. It's better to wait until things are calmer. Is he truly going to move out? If yes, then that will give you some space to clear your thoughts.

Right now, you are all in crisis mode. You do not want to make big decisions in this state of mind.

Take a deep breath. This is all going to get worked out one way or another.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

It sounds like the only way your marriage would go from where its at now to good is a 180, your husband understanding what he is doing to you and your daughter, and a lot of work. 

Slashing the tires of the truck is pretty scary. 

I think there is a chance it would work, but it depends on what type of man your husband is. It would be extremely hard for both of you to fix this and you would both have to be 100% committed to fixing your marriage. Would he be able to recognize all the issues and truly change? You at the same time would have to be willing to wait the 4 months minimum it would require him to see what is going on. There is a lot of work you would have to do to.

I would sit him down and tell him to not talk for 5-10 minutes while you explain to him how you feel about this. If you tell him you are seriously thinking of ending it and he does not somehow commit to fixing and changing, there isn't really a chance. It may take him a day or two to think about what you said.

Best of luck to you, your daughter, and what may or may not be left of your marriage.


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