# Do I want to know the truth?



## BFB (Apr 4, 2014)

Been married 33 years, I love my wife and even though I have said things in anger that I'm sure hurt her, I have always been faithful to our marriage, I have never physically abused her, I don't drink or do drugs or stay out all night, as a matter of fact I rarely go anywhere without her. She is a great person,and she deserves a better life than I can give her, I don't think I please her in bed even though I try, and she never (very very rarely) initiates sex ( probably due to the fact that I don't bring her to climax). I work hard, provide for us pretty well, we have a nice house ,she drives a nice car,etc. (She also has a full time job).
My point of concern comes from the fact that I found a pair of underware in her drawer that has "Booty Call" emblazoned across the back of them. I asked her about them and she said she saw them online, liked the look and bought them, and that she didn't know what "booty call" meant. She has never owned (to my knowledge) panties with any writing on them. I can't seem to get over this situation, it haunts my thoughts on many days. Does she have a "Booty Call" that does satisfy her like I cant?


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Your wife is lying. Yes you want to know. She knows what 'Booty Call' is.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Why can't you satisfy her?

As far as whether she's got. "Booty call" out there, no way we can tell. You can browse through here to find ways of investigating, but so far, your evidence is pretty slim. And if you get caught "spying" on her based on that, I'd expect there to be some fireworks about you not trusting her. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

If was an online purchase, you can verify at least the purchase price/time/date.

Might be a start.

Sorry, but you may need to prepare to dig deep.

Check out Weightlifter's standard post on monitoring.

Good luck.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

*Do I want to know the truth?*

Yes. The truth might hurt you but not knowing the truth would definitely hurt you.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> *Do I want to know the truth?*
> 
> Yes. The truth might hurt you but not knowing the truth would definitely hurt you.


Yes you want to know as "The truth will always be"

55


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Is this the only red flag?
Does she guard her phone?
Is there lots of texts or phone calls?
Is there any unaccounted time away?
Has your sex life increased/decreased?
If not probably nothing to worry about.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

BFB said:


> Been married 33 years, I love my wife and even though I have said things in anger that I'm sure hurt her, I have always been faithful to our marriage, I have never physically abused her, I don't drink or do drugs or stay out all night, as a matter of fact I rarely go anywhere without her. She is a great person,and she deserves a better life than I can give her, I don't think I please her in bed even though I try,


What's the problem there? Don't be shy, lots of people have performance problems from time to time and they can all be fixed, one way or another.



BFB said:


> and she never (very very rarely) initiates sex


Women generally initiate sex only when they feel they are in competition for a man. This is why so many AMC guys get the best sex of the relationship before marriage and it's downhill from there. The married guys who get plenty of sex are the ones who have wives who realize that their H is high ranking enough in either sexual market value or marriage market value, or both, that she could be replaced in five minutes.

Generally, women get turned on in response to the male getting turned on. They want to feel like they arouse their man so much, he can't keep his hands off of her. If you're getting turned down, she is not into you. Another man is either tapping your well or soon will be.



BFB said:


> ( probably due to the fact that I don't bring her to climax).


Why is this?



BFB said:


> I work hard, provide for us pretty well, we have a nice house ,she drives a nice car,etc. (She also has a full time job).


You're a beta provider. 



BFB said:


> My point of concern comes from the fact that I found a pair of underware in her drawer that has "Booty Call" emblazoned across the back of them.


33 years? How old? 60? When's the last time you saw her naked? Does she still sport a bush? I'm not joking.



BFB said:


> I asked her about them and she said she saw them online, liked the look and bought them, and that she didn't know what "booty call" meant.


Nice work showing your cards.




BFB said:


> She has never owned (to my knowledge) panties with any writing on them. I can't seem to get over this situation, it haunts my thoughts on many days. Does she have a "Booty Call" that does satisfy her like I cant?


Most likely. But get smart and start acting like you've forgotten all about it.

How old are you?

What's her alleged sexual history?


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

This of course is just one red flag. How big a red flag depends on your knowledge of your wife. Sounds like this is particularly out of character for her, and if so you should be more concerned. Also, her telling you that she didn't know what it meant would defy belief, so that means she's lying about it. Another "possible" red flag. Surely she's not that naive.

Do you want to know the truth? You should. Why wouldn't you want to know?

My advice is to calm down and don't mention it to her again. Then educate yourself on the covert monitoring techniques. You can get a lot of help here with that.

Is she is on facebook, text a lot, use her computer a lot? Have you checked your cell phone bill for who she calls/texts? Learn how to monitor what she uses the most and consider placing a VAR (voice activated recorder) in her car and/or near where she talks on the phone at home - if that's what she does. 

It will take some effort on your part to learn this, but what's more important than knowing for sure? If she's cheating and you follow the advice here; you'll probably know within one to two weeks. For your sake I hope it's nothing.

Good luck and keep posting.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Who doesn't know what 'booty call' means? Seriously. 

I agree that your best bet is to calm down, not talk to her about it any more, and start investigating. Keep an eye open. How does she react when you look at her phone? Her computer? Her facebook? Can you see her spending or is it separate from yours? Are there any other red flags?


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

She purchased them online.
All anyone has to do is to type booty call on the search engine she is using to find the definition of booty call.
Since your wife uses a computer to purchase them then she knows how to do this.

YOUR WIFE IS LYING.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

I am a female and this seems totally innocent to me.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

The truth can only hurt you if you choose to ignore it


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> *Who doesn't know what 'booty call' means? Seriously. *
> 
> I agree that your best bet is to calm down, not talk to her about it any more, and start investigating. Keep an eye open. How does she react when you look at her phone? Her computer? Her facebook? Can you see her spending or is it separate from yours? Are there any other red flags?


*I* didn't!

But then, I don't get out to the cinema, much! (I looked it up, so now I know.)


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## Mario Kempes (Jun 12, 2010)

Hope1964 said:


> *Who doesn't know what 'booty call' means?* Seriously.
> 
> I agree that your best bet is to calm down, not talk to her about it any more, and start investigating. Keep an eye open. How does she react when you look at her phone? Her computer? Her facebook? Can you see her spending or is it separate from yours? Are there any other red flags?





MattMatt said:


> *I* didn't!
> 
> But then, I don't get out to the cinema, much! (I looked it up, so now I know.)


Sorry Hope, I had to look it up as well! 

Maybe we need to get out more, Matt!


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

She bought a pair of pants with the word booty call on them..

Yep she's a cheater..also quite possibly the most despicable person I ever met based on that..

but seriously OP..

There maybe issues in your marriage but you might be jumping the gun a tad here.

What have you done to try and "spice" up your sex life. Have you actually sat down and communicated with her why she never initiates?
Do you talk about sex at all? What she likes, the way she likes it, what she would like to do?

Hit the gym, start feeling better about yourself, talk to your wife, be careful of jumping to conclusions and accusing her of something she hasn't done based on an pair of knickers with some wording on it.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

My mother knows I love to dance. She was also aware that my ex and I were pretty good at Carolina Shag dancing. So, she bought me a CD called "Songs to Shag To". She quite honestly had no idea that it wasn't beach music and was genuinely appalled when I explained that anything with that much Barry White definitely wasn't for dancing to in public. She was 55 at the time and had been married for 34 years. She had no mental association between the word shag and sex. 

I would hazard a guess that there really are women who wouldn't really "get" the phrase Booty Call, beyond knowing that "booty" means butt. I can see someone like my Mom, my MIL, any of my aunts and most of my friend's mothers thinking it was just a cheeky slogan about bottoms, and not realizing it meant nsa sex. Some of those ladies might buy something like that on a lark. Yes, there really are mature married women out there, even ones who shop online, who are that naïve. Stuff like that is available at places like Victoria's Secret and Zappo's, so it's not like she was necessarily shopping at Tramps-R-Us. The panties alone aren't an automatic "she's cheating" to me. 

On the other hand, it's probably a good idea to maybe quietly check up on her a bit. Better safe than sorry. Especially if there are other red flags in her behavior.


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