# Feel like I am losing my wife and I do not know what to do...



## WebfootArchy (Aug 19, 2012)

Hey,

I am male, 30 and have been married to my wife for about two years. We also have a daughter who is 3 1/2 years old.

Our sex life has never been that frequent. For about a year before we had our daughter we had sex maybe once or twice. Since she has been born and we have been married we have had sex once. I have tried to talk with her about it but she just responds that she is just not interested.

A few months ago I read some of her instant messages between her and her friends where she expressed interest in divorcing me and dating other people. I confronted her about it and she said that she was just joking with her girlfriends.

She has said somethings that indicate that she at times wants to be single.

I had tried to initiate any form of intimency with her but she always has an excuse.

I am beginning to lose my mind. What should I do?


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

Sounds like she interested in sex just not with you. You need to put your foot down and tell you wife if she wants the marriage to continue then marriage counseling and other proactive steps to strengthen the marriage must be a priority for you both. If your wife doesn't want to work on the marriage like that then I would cut my losses and find a long term partner who actually cared about my needs if I were you. 

I know I can't speak for your wife but no sex in a marriage with the wife craving being single and sending texts about divorce says you need to do something about this ASAP before you have a sexless marriage with a cheater.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Your wife has an interest in sex, just not with you. How often do women hit on you?


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

Make sure there haven't been any other men during your marriage.


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

sounded very similar to my situation. very very similar. only you can figure outwhat to do. but counselling is an obvios option. we did ot for a about 6 visits then split upon mutual agreement.

seperated 8 months now


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## jelichmann (Apr 5, 2012)

Aye carumba! 

I agree with what you probably have already concluded: divorce is very seriously on your wife's mind. Even if she's not actually ready to file for it just yet, she's fantasizing about it, which is almost worse.

I actually don't recommend marriage counseling here, because you're just not going to be able to get your wife to commit to it. In order for marriage counseling to work EVER, both husband and wife have to be enthusiastic about saving their marriage. Even if you can get your wife to go see a MC, it's just not going to have a lasting effect on your marriage.

I recommend you read the Man Up references here on the forum, they seem like they would be helpful in your situation. Basically, the only way your wife is going to to stay in the marriage is if she WANTS to stay. That's not something she decides, it's something she feels. She has to want YOU. 

Just keep that in mind as you're reading through those references.

Things may look bad right now, but two years is not a very long time to have been married. I would still consider you newlyweds, honestly. So, having these types of seemingly severe problems is not abnormal, and although they certainly can lead to divorce, don't feel like your chance at a healthy long-term marriage is out the window.

My deepest sympathies, and I wish you the best of luck. Don't be a stranger around here, we are all happy to help as much as we can.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

So...in a year BEFORE you were married, you only had s*x once/twice? Is that b/c you have zero drive/attraction for her, or was she always rejecting you?


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

only had sex once or twice and you got a daughter??? somethings seriously wrong here.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

WebfootArchy said:


> For about a year before we had our daughter we had sex maybe once or twice.


Why did you marry her?


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

some info seems to be missing here..


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