# I can't stop Cheating !!!! Desperately Need Advice !!!!



## ksalem (May 6, 2012)

I have been told this is an excellent site to get help so im putting everything out in the open so i can save my marriage. Please PLEASE don't treat me harshly. I need help I understand this. But I need council not harsh judgment. Anyways some background ::: I am 28 been married 5 years and I have been cheating on my Husband religiously for 3 yrs !!! And I can't stop !!!!!!! I don't know what to do ??? Its an addiction I think.... im not sure. But I know he sooooo doesn't deserve this. He is extremely sweet treats me like a Queen. Terrific provider buys me everything i want and he is in good shape !!! So what is wrong with me ??!!!???!!?????? why can't i stop ??? I do love him but i need to wrestle myself free from this habit of cheating on him. Is it because i don't respect him ?? Is that it ??? He seldom argues with me and he is just sooooooo super nice. My Gf tell me I am Drunk with Power. Am I ??? Or maybe i am over analyzing. I don't know what to do. How do i save our marriage ??? How do i stop cheating on him ??? HELP !!! S.O.S. !!!!!!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Get some individual counseling to help you figure out why you're doing what you're doing. You need more help than you'll get from random strangers on the Internet.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Divorce your husband so he may find a more deserving companion.
Then you might try employment at a escort service since it appears you may be ideally suited for the occupation. This will permit you to provide for yourself financially since you obviously don't appreciate your husband doing it.
Good Luck!


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

The main reason may be he is a nice guy...he thinks doing that keeps you around but of course that is boring to you...

I have to ask, are you using condoms when you do this. After so many times you cheated and if you did not use condoms there is a very good chance you will get a STD.


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## TorontoBoyWest (May 1, 2012)

Stop trolling TAM?


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

In case this is real, how would you feel if your husband was doing to you what you are doing to him and putting your health at risk for STD's?

He deserves the truth. This is not just all about you. If he decides to stay you both need to be tested for STD's and seek marriage counseling in additional therapy for you.

Treating a husband that loves you this way indicates the lack of character you have. I do not think you love your husband at all but are just using him for the lifestyle he provides. Your story is very sad and so are you.


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## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

You have a husband, you have a GF? Is it just a friend who is a girl?
Wanna stop? Tell him, be honest, and have him help you find the right kind of real help. You are addicted to sex, you are being very selfish and w/o some real pain of ur own you'll never "just stop". You could talk to my X to find out how horrible it is being known as the town whoxe....not being mean, just letting you know people see you now.
Mouse


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

You want to stop cheating?

Tell your husband everything. After the divorce - you will no longer be cheating.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

ksalem said:


> I have been told this is an excellent site to get help so im putting everything out in the open so i can save my marriage. Please PLEASE don't treat me harshly. I need help I understand this. But I need council not harsh judgment. Anyways some background ::: I am 28 been married 5 years and I have been cheating on my Husband religiously for 3 yrs !!! And I can't stop !!!!!!! I don't know what to do ??? Its an addiction I think.... im not sure. But I know he sooooo doesn't deserve this. He is extremely sweet treats me like a Queen. Terrific provider buys me everything i want and he is in good shape !!! So what is wrong with me ??!!!???!!?????? why can't i stop ??? I do love him but i need to wrestle myself free from this habit of cheating on him. Is it because i don't respect him ?? Is that it ??? He seldom argues with me and he is just sooooooo super nice. My Gf tell me I am Drunk with Power. Am I ??? Or maybe i am over analyzing. I don't know what to do. How do i save our marriage ??? How do i stop cheating on him ??? HELP !!! S.O.S. !!!!!!


Perhaps you don't respect him because he is nice to you. 

If so, you are a masochist....someone who likes to be mistreated. I am sure the guys you cheat with neither like you nor respect you, they just see you as an easy FB. 

The other possibility is that your husband is cheating on you. Perhaps he knows about your cheating and does not care. 

While you are out with your FB, so is he. He treats you nice and gives you what ever you want to throw you off his trail, and/or to instill guilt in you. 

Just something to think about. 

If he isn't cheating, let him go. You can improve your karma that way and rid yourself of some of the negative karma accrued by cheating.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

Methinks she's a troll. (I think the big font and over-the-top narrative is a giveaway.)

But I could be wrong.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

How many times have you cheated? How long were each of the affairs? Were they emotional, with I love you's, or just physical one-night-stand type of affairs? How did you meet the other men?


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## Mario Kempes (Jun 12, 2010)

TorontoBoyWest said:


> Stop trolling TAM?


Hmmm, I was kinda thinking the same, TBW . . . . .


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

If you are for real, then go with the advice of seeking individual counseling. If you are the survivor of childhood sexual abuse then more the reason. If you keep on having sex with other men, you are playing Russian roulette and sooner or later you'll end up destroying not only your life but your husband's as well.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

My elven pocket knife is glowing. I detect a troll.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

TorontoBoyWest said:


> Stop trolling TAM?


This!




And next time you decide to troll try to be more convincing and please reduce the font size. It screams "trolling hard for attention" .


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> My elven pocket knife is glowing. I detect a troll.


:rofl:


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Hey, why is everyone blaming me.

Here I am, sitting peacefully under my bridge waiting for my billy goats dinner to come along and all I can hear is, 'Troll, troll!'

You're going to scare my food away - now be quiet!


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Spidy Senses started tingling TROLL at the subject line. I must of been a Billy Goat in my previous life.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

"He probably doesn't satisfy you sexually, so teach him."

This one always gets me. She probably is one of those women who lays there reading a book and eating an apple while he's trying to get his once a month shot at "pleasing her".
She's cheating? She's trash and he needs to put it out by the curb.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

hookares said:


> "He probably doesn't satisfy you sexually, so teach him."
> 
> This one always gets me. *She probably is one of those women who lays there reading a book and eating an apple while he's trying to get his once a month shot at "pleasing her".*
> She's cheating? She's trash and he needs to put it out by the curb.


You just described the wife formerly known as Mrs. Count of Monte Cristo.


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## sweetchiq21 (Dec 23, 2012)

*Have you been sexually abused in the past? if so read this article located at Childhood Sexual Abuse, Relationship Satisfaction, and Sexual Risk Taking in a Community Sample of Women*





Childhood sexual abuse (CSA) has been associated with a variety of risky sexual behaviors and indicators of sexual risk taking in adulthood, including multiple sexual partners and higher incidence of sexually transmitted infection (STI; see Heiman & Heard-Davison, 2004; Koenig & Clark, 2004, for reviews). CSA also has been associated with difficulties in adult interpersonal relationships, including involvement in intimate partner relationships marked by low satisfaction and high levels of conflict and violence (see Davis & Petretic-Jackson, 2000; DiLillo, 2001; Rumstein-McKean & Hunsley, 2001, for reviews). These two CSA sequelae—relationship difficulties and sexual risk taking—are likely to be linked. For example, women who desire a relationship while having difficulty forming lasting and satisfying partnerships are likely to have many short-term sexual relationships (Davis & Petretic-Jackson, 2000). Consequently, having “more sexual partnerships may say more about a woman’s relationship choices than [about] her sexual choices” (Heiman & Heard-Davison, 2004, p. 40). Despite the potential connection between relationship choices and sexual risk taking among CSA survivors, these outcomes typically have not been considered together. The current study attempted to bridge this gap by examining how a woman’s CSA experiences may shape the quality of her intimate partner relationships and ultimately her sexual risk.

CSA is commonly viewed as a traumatic experience, although no single symptom occurs universally among victims nor is there a single traumatizing process (Kendall-Tackett, Williams, & Finkelhor, 1993). Although several theoretical models have been proposed to explain survivor responses to CSA, Finkelhor and Browne’s (1985) model of traumagenic dynamics seems particularly relevant to understanding the interpersonal difficulties frequently reported among CSA survivors. According to this model, sexually abused children are rewarded for sexual behavior with attention and affection. This may contribute to the precocious sexual activity frequently observed among children and adolescents who have experienced CSA (see Beitchman, Zucker, Hood, DaCosta, & Akman, 1991; Kendall-Tackett et al., 1993, for reviews). According to Davis and Petretic-Jackson (2000), these patterns may continue into adulthood. For example, adult survivors tend to oversexualize relationships, feeling that they are obligated to provide sex or that sex can gain them affection. Further, the relationships of survivors may become sexual more quickly. CSA survivors typically report having more sexual partners compared with nonabused women (Cohen et al., 2000; National Institute of Mental Health Multisite HIV Prevention Trial, 2001; Parillo, Freeman, Collier, & Young, 2001).


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Zombie thread!!!!!
OP is history


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

If you are real, it is not that you do not respect him, it is you do not respect yourself.


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