# The other side......



## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

Many of you know my story. It has been a long, drawn out battle. I changed. My body has changed. My attitude, my everyday life has changed. Many people consider success of a man in my circumstances as one who saw a saved marriage. I'm here to tell you, it has nothing to do with the result of your relationship.

I just got back from my first vacation with just me and my kids. The consensus, "dad, this is the best vacation we ever had.". There was nobody telling me to do this or that. Nobody looking over my shoulder telling how should do something differently or criticizing me. It was a very FUN trip. Sometimes, other people are toxic. In order for you to continue to grow, they have to be removed from your life. I sit here on my porch to my nice apartment with the radio going and a very big cigar a happy man. The journey is far from over, but life IS GOOD. Screw negative, unhappy people who dwell on their feelings and take no action to change. If they want to step out and live a happy life, they know where I am.
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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

good for you man, i feel like im about to embark on the same journey


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## turkish (Jun 24, 2012)

I have read a fair bit of your story, and I tip my hat to ya mate. Glad you and the kids had a great trip. : )
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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Great to hear from you, Dedicated2Her.

And as I often say in a sardonic way, but completely relate to where you have been, and where you are now ...

Congratulations, and, I'm sorry.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Dedicated2Her said:


> Many of you know my story. It has been a long, drawn out battle. I changed. My body has changed. My attitude, my everyday life has changed. Many people consider success of a man in my circumstances as one who saw a saved marriage. I'm here to tell you, it has nothing to do with the result of your relationship.
> 
> I just got back from my first vacation with just me and my kids. The consensus, "dad, this is the best vacation we ever had.". There was nobody telling me to do this or that. Nobody looking over my shoulder telling how should do something differently or criticizing me. It was a very FUN trip. Sometimes, other people are toxic. In order for you to continue to grow, they have to be removed from your life. I sit here on my porch to my nice apartment with the radio going and a very big cigar a happy man. The journey is far from over, but life IS GOOD. Screw negative, unhappy people who dwell on their feelings and take no action to change. If they want to step out and live a happy life, they know where I am.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I few years ago I vowed I would never vacation with my wife and kids again. She is bad enough when it is just her and I but when we are with the kids she is a cold hearted, angry witch.


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## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

> I few years ago I vowed I would never vacation with my wife and kids again. She is bad enough when it is just her and I but when we are with the kids she is a cold hearted, angry witch.


Tonight I brought my son to the house after football practice. She engaged in conversation about some of the parents and coaches. She said at one point, "wow, I am just a very rude person. I guess it is just my nature. I don't put effort into anything."

Yeah, duh. Realistically, good luck to any guy that wants to date a mom of 4 who doesn't work and is a "negative nancy" who has no desire to work on anything in a relationship. 



> And as I often say in a sardonic way, but completely relate to where you have been, and where you are now ...
> 
> Congratulations, and, I'm sorry.


Thanks, Deejo. It's ok. I wouldn't trade the past two years for anything because of the changes it has made me push myself towards. I do wish she would meet me halfway, but she hasn't shown that capability yet. Sucks for the kids, for me, and for her because she is far from happy.


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## turkish (Jun 24, 2012)

Dedicated2Her said:


> Tonight I brought my son to the house after football practice. She engaged in conversation about some of the parents and coaches. She said at one point, "wow, I am just a very rude person. I guess it is just my nature. I don't put effort into anything."
> 
> Yeah, duh. Realistically, good luck to any guy that wants to date a mom of 4 who doesn't work and is a "negative nancy" who has no desire to work on anything in a relationship.


Your ex sounds very familiar to me...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

there a calm in your post and its nice to see.


negative people can't see the forest throught the trees. I actually feel sory for people I meet that are this way. once you lived with someone like that you can pick them out easily and then advoid them like the plague.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Dedicated2Her said:


> I wouldn't trade the past two years for anything because of the changes it has made me push myself towards.


Well said, well said. I sometimes tell people that infidelity can be a good thing, if what you had before was toxic, as it forces you to break out of the gridlock and fix yourself.


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