# Falling Apart Family



## clc2012 (Jan 15, 2012)

Im new to this so please be patiant w me. My husband and I got together 5 1/2 years ago. I had a daughter from a previous relationship. Her dad passed away when I was pregnant w her. My husband was wel aware that it is a package deal w her. He was great w her until we had a daughter of our own. He treats MY daughter like she is grown. He always impatient w her. She will try to explain herself and he says she is backtalking. He yells in front of her and blames her everytime we fight! My daughter is only 9 yrs old. I dont think she should be treated as an adult. He also lets our 4 yr old hit me, backtalk, etc. He says I mistreat her and she is only 4!!!! I dont know what to do anymore. Ive suggested family counseling and he absolutely refuses. WHAT DO I DO?????


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Go to counseling yourself. You need to learn how to deal with this. If you change, he will have to change.

As for your 4 yr old hitting you. What do you mean he lets your 4 yr old hit you? You have to let her know that you will not tolerate her hitting you and back talking to you. 

You have to let your husband know that you will not accept him mistreating your daughter, nor will you allow him to bully you in front of the children. If he continues to do this you are prepared to divorce. Tell this to him without crying, without only the emotion of 'kick butt' in privacy away from the children. this is adult talk.

He can either spend the time and money on family counseling NOW or he can spend it for the next 14 years paying child support.

Do you get social security benefits for your daughter since her father has passed away? If so she also brings money into the household. If not you might want to check on this. My mom got it for my 3 youngest siblings when my father passed away.

You have to stand your ground with your husband and the daughter you have with him.


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