# looking at other women?



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Do you get mad at your husband for commenting on another woman? or turning their head to look at one while you are talking?


----------



## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

I don't mind if my gf does it -- its fun to look. I have never been "caught" looking (or at least she has not let on) and gf is OK with me looking at porn, so I guess its ok.

Its naive to think that once in a while, a gorgeous specimen of either gender is not going to turn your partners head. Putting up a fuss just makes it more appealing.


----------



## bluebutterfly0808 (Aug 18, 2008)

i don't mind. sometimes we actually both notice the same woman. i kinda tease him about it if it's super obvious that he's looking but it's all in good fun!


----------



## jennyc (Aug 27, 2008)

i dont really mind. You can look but u cant touch


----------



## justean (May 28, 2008)

im afraid i never used to worry or bother, i really didnt . until hubby had the one night stand in april - i kinda got a little insecure - but thats normal . i hated him looking at n e one. but thankfully things are settling down alot. im kinda going back to being me again and not worrying so much.


----------



## stumped (May 16, 2008)

Never had a problem with it...I have even pointed out hot girls to him and his buddies. Never had a problem with him looking at porn either or going to the strip club...maybe thats why he didnt do much of either because he was allowed...I dont know.


----------



## Farfignewton (Aug 10, 2008)

We both agreed that in the beginning of the relationship that we would not look at the opposite sex while we were spending time with each other. We have both been caught looking at it not a big deal as long you there is no staring or drooling involved. A quick glance is ok.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I get pissed. But we have a lot of other issues in our marriage. If i felt he was really attracted to me i dont think i would care.


----------



## stumped (May 16, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> I get pissed. But we have a lot of other issues in our marriage. If i felt he was really attracted to me i dont think i would care.


Let me ask you a question...How do you feel about yourself? Do you FEEL attractive?


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

stumped said:


> Let me ask you a question...How do you feel about yourself? Do you FEEL attractive?


lol... ya i know. it shouldn't matter what he thinks. but i read a report on Sexual Strategies from a quantitative perspective and in it the author's outline the reasons behind these sort of insecurities. After reading this I think my insecurity has nothing to do with superficial looks. My need to know he is attracted to me has to do with my evolutionary biological need for a man to stick around and support a family. So if my H has wandering eyes, and i do not feel he is attracted to me, what guarantee do i have that he will stick around and be the father to my children? 

That is the real insecurity.


----------



## stumped (May 16, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> lol... ya i know. it shouldn't matter what he thinks. but i read a report on Sexual Strategies from a quantitative perspective and in it the author's outline the reasons behind these sort of insecurities. After reading this I think my insecurity has nothing to do with superficial looks. My need to know he is attracted to me has to do with my evolutionary biological need for a man to stick around and support a family. So if my H has wandering eyes, and i do not feel he is attracted to me, what guarantee do i have that he will stick around and be the father to my children?
> 
> That is the real insecurity.


Looking and being curious is natural. Its when it starts becoming something more than looking that its a problem. 

Why do you thing he doesnt think you are attractive? I am assuming here...he doesnt give you compliments etc.?


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I can honestly saw I LOVE to look at women, I look at them all. My wife is completely used to it. I will comment on women as well, especially ones I know well, I always compliment them.

For instance... We had a party, and our neighbors came from down the street, His wife wore a miniskirt and Stockings, I said, " Whoa Alice, how does Larry let you outside of that house with those killer legs of yours?" She got a good laugh, you have to understand, I am 38, she is about 65, and we are good friends with them. They are good people.

See I am a visual creature and I love to look at women, apparently the fox news channel knows this, every one of them is pretty and wears a dress or a skirt. Complete eye candy.

BUT there is ALLOT more to a woman, and really for me the Personality is the key. I dated a woman back at the end of HS, and she was not very attractive, but I was friends with her and we just kind of grew together and had some fun. I was extremely popular in HS and when we started dating it was the talk of the town, and I have to say, her self confidence sky rocketed, we only dated a few months, because I was young and restless, but she had such confidence from that she went on to marry a very smart good looking man (we are still friends) I always told her if she displayed confidence in herself that she would be attractive to others, it works the same way for men, women like strong confident men.

So ladies, while your men may want to look at others, like myself, just means the like the view, doesn't they will go chasing every time. I been with my wife for almost 20 years, never once of leaving her for any of those girls that go strolling by.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> My wife is completely used to it. I will comment on women as well, especially ones I know well, I always compliment them.


I actually talked to a lady once who said her and her husband were completely open about who they were attracted to. After things calm down with me and my H i am going to try this approach too. I think its a very healthy way to be.


----------



## Fine (Sep 15, 2008)

Nice Q

First of let me say if women understands that men are visual creatures by nature then they wont be pissed about this issue

Men got bigger visual glands than women in their eyes! its how they are made. They zoom in/out FASTER. It explains why girls wont notice the secret scans a guy can do in a second lol and some wifes wont notice their husband looking around!

GAsoccerman, you are a visual creature ya and you love beautiful things regardless if they are women or not, but ofcourse you appreciat the human female body the most.

But, if my husband sits by me and keeps looking at other women, then I will know this:

1- Right now, He is NOT in the *Burning In Love Stage* with me and thats what I call the first stage when a couple are all lovey-dovey over each other < the first days of love> which people love the most ofcourse becuase they get blindly in love.this love ends quickly.

2- Right now, He might be in the *Comfortly In Love Stage* with me and thats what I call the love that comes after the hot days. this love is actually is best because its safe and couple will keep loving each other although they are aware of each other imperfect sides... this love CAN lasts forever with the proper means to keep it going stable. this is the stage that GAsoccerman is in! he appreciate women but still loves his wife.

3- Right now, He doesnt like me and I'm not attractive to him OR THERE IS ANOTHER GIRL that he likes more than he likes me. And ya, men can love more than one woman at same time. he can love you, and he can love his other secret lover... but ofcourse, one girl at a time will be his *FAVORITE*
sorry girls but it can be this ya  and a GIRL can tell.. but if she keeps lying to herself.. and convincing herself that its OK lol well then.. 

so ya, for me, its FINE as long as he gets his eyes back to me and later we make passtionate love!!


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

There are other women?


----------



## carmaenforcer (Mar 7, 2008)

Like *justean* my insecurity stemmed from my Wife's cheating and so my mind wonders too far when I catch her looking at other guys, especially since her "type" is nothing like what I am.
I hated the fact that I was insecure because before the cheating I was a pretty confident and secure man. I wish that I could just go back to the way I used to think, that it's ok to look. I mean I look all the time, but then again I haven't cheated and have proven that I can, just look and not touch.

I don't make a big deal about it anymore even though it still bothers me. She lies when confronted anyway and pretends that she doesn't notice other men even though I know she does.

One thing that I have always believed, is that it's natural to look and there is nothing wrong with it as long as that's all it is, but it is always disrespectful to do it in front of your mate.
I mean, I do it all throughout the day but never in my Wife's face unless I feel like hurting her feeling that day because she did it to me. That's just respect for the other person.


----------



## justean (May 28, 2008)

carmaenforcer said:


> Like *justean* my insecurity stemmed from my Wife's cheating .
> 
> this is very true and i agree with your feelings.
> the thing is unless infidelity has taken place within the marriage (a so called trusting one) we dont take much notice and yes we do look, but we dont touch. i think ppl would change their views on this subject if it happened to them.


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

It's funny Mommy, becuase your hubby probably checked out his wife, but saw what the woman did to her hubby and said to himself, "that's right man, my wife is hot! be jealous!" LOL

chalk trhat up as a win for mommy in the "MILF" column.


----------



## carmaenforcer (Mar 7, 2008)

I had a guy shoot me a dirty look because his woman was checking me out, She was SUPER HOT but I hadn't even seen her before my Wife pointed out the situation. 

The guy noticed that I was sitting there with my HOT wife and just left with his Wife in tow as she smiled in our direction, pissing my Wife off.

*mommy22*, it's funny that you say that you weren't dressed provocatively. My Wife has also commented on the strange fact that I get checked out when I'm scruffy, unshaven, dressed casual, that king of thing. I told my Wife that I noticed the same thing and that I actually get approached more when I'm not all made up too. 

For guys, I think it's the married guy appeal thing, we are more attractive when we are not trying.

For girl's, I think it's just that some (most) of us men have a very vivid imagination when it comes to a womans body. 
You might think you're hiding the goods but we are very visual creatures and if you got something going on we will see the silhouette and fill in the blanks. 
It's that whole, undressing with the eyes type thing. 
CREEPY! But true...


----------



## bzyshopinbee (Sep 17, 2008)

My husband and I both look at the opposite sex and we're both ok with it. We also have no problem with admitting to one another that he or she is 'hot' or 'sexy'..ect. Its normal...in my opinion!


----------



## tnt20years (Aug 11, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> I get pissed. But we have a lot of other issues in our marriage. If i felt he was really attracted to me i dont think i would care.


Ditto for me!! I used to think "as long as he looks but doesn't touch". Then I found out that he wanted to touch and now it really bothers me. But I don't make a huge issue out of it, I just kind of try to make a joke about it and move on...for my own mental well-being if nothing else.

We were at a concert a couple of months ago and I caught him checking out all of the bodacious babes and I jokingly started a game of who we thought had real ones or fake ones!!! Didn't really help anything, in fact probably made it worse, but I didn't want him to think it was bothering me..sometimes if they know it bothers you they tend to get worse or more defiant.


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Deejo said:


> There are other women?


:smthumbup:
Awesome, Deejo. I like that answer!


----------



## Ladyinblue (Sep 18, 2008)

funny this question should come up...Yes!!! i actually hate it and it REALLY bothers me when he does it.I think i need to add this to my laundry list off issues i need work on.....


----------



## daddy22 (Sep 16, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> It's funny Mommy, becuase your hubby probably checked out his wife, but saw what the woman did to her hubby and said to himself, "that's right man, my wife is hot! be jealous!" LOL
> 
> chalk trhat up as a win for mommy in the "MILF" column.


It's funny the assumption people make as not all men can be lumped into one category.:scratchhead: Then again what I know about most men, I wouldn't trust them any futher than I could kick them. The only thing I checked out that night other than "Mommy", was the groceries!:fro: I do realize there are other attractive females in the world, however, that's where my thought process stops. I am truthfully convinced that I married the most beautiful, hottest woman I've ever seen in my life! Not only is she drop dead gorgeous, she takes very good care of me :smthumbup:and the children as well as herself. I am totally crazy about the woman I married. For me there is no other. I LOVE YOU MOMMY! Nothing against anybody, I just wanted to set my record straight in my defense. :whip:


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

LOl no Problem daddy22...

I just summed it up differently in my post. you could have just glanced at the woman, or even just looked in her direction. Who knows, but I am sure if anything it was mostly, just a a simple, there is a nice looking woman. That is it.

But I am not sure about you, but for myself if i find a man checking out my wife or comments about my wife, I take that as a compliment, as all men should.

Seeing that Daddy22 came on here and posted his undying love for Mommy22, I think she should do something special for you, so Mommy get to work.


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> Do you get mad at your husband for commenting on another woman? or turning their head to look at one while you are talking?


depends on how close we are and how good our sex life is. If we are close and sexy, we both comment on the girl and have fun with it. if we have been arguing for months and not having sex and not talking it would piss me off royally.


----------

