# Question from a friend



## Intolerant72 (Jun 17, 2021)

My friend called me the other day and asked me to do something I thought was odd but I agreed to it. So he goes on to tell me that he was sent for work 550 miles away for a month maybe two month long job. He was worried that his fiance was hooking up with her ex-boyfriend because he caught a message on her Facebook page stating this
"HEY GET AHOLD OF ME AGAIN"
He said that he asked her about the posting and she got pissed at him and said that he was creeping on her Facebook page and blocked him totally. He also stated that he had sent her several friend request but she never accepted any of them. He then said he asked he why he would leave a message like that and she said that she texted him first because she was looking to buy some weed but he never got back with her and then left that message. He asked why him out of all the people you get stuff from they are out and his name just popped into you mind and just happened to be 2 days after he left town.
She has not given him the reason why she contacted him,said she never got back ahold of him after he posted that but blocked him that morning that he asked her about it so he couldn't see anything more and didn't understand why he would post that to her Facebook page instead of texting her on the phone. 
He is very upset thinking she seen him while he has been out of town so I'm looking for answers to tell him so please any and all thought are appreciated


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Uh, she’s a lying cheT and your friend is a doormat and glutton for punishment.


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

unfriending her fiancé because he’s concerned about what her ex posted on her social media? Women use the controlling card whenever they want to get their boyfriend/husband to back off on trying to **** block. Dump her ASAP. The engagement is a trial, which she failed. Imagine if you were married with kids? We have a tons of such heartbreaking threads. Don’t become one of them.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

So many red flags. She is publicly trying to contact someone for drugs, is her excuse? This woman is not fiance material. Your friend may have an opportunity to avoid an expensive marital mistake. If for some crazy reason he still wants to marry her (shaking head) tell him he really needs to get some per-marriage counseling to discuss what happened and to set behavioral boundaries within marriage.


----------



## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

Blocking fiance on social media = end of engagement.
Why would the guy even call her to ask, I would never bother to contact her again.

It's over ...... unless he's a total doormat.


----------



## Intolerant72 (Jun 17, 2021)

That was my thoughts on it also but I had told him about my own question that I posted on here a while back and received a lot of great advise from everyone so he asked if I would post his and see what everyone would say about it. I will forward your responses to him


----------



## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

We'd be done as soon as she blocked me. That's enough to tell you she's up to something right there.


----------



## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

He really needs to tell her to not be there when he gets back from the job. There's nothing healthy about that relationship.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It seems odd to me that she would post that on her facebook page where everyone she knows could see it if there was something going on. Surely she would just text him or something?


----------



## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> It seems odd to me that she would post that on her facebook page where everyone she knows could see it if there was something going on. Surely she would just text him or something?


Agreed, but really, the post is irrelevant. It's the reaction to it. The way they interact is not healthy.


----------



## Intolerant72 (Jun 17, 2021)

She didn't post it to her wall... HE did after she initially contacted him through personal text. I asked him did she get ahold of him again and he said that she claimed that she never tried getting ahold of him after he posted that to her wall. So I asked him she went through all that to contact him....you by chance caught the posting, confronted her about it she blocks you then tells you that she never contacted him after all that.... I am almost certain that they had contact after that but that's just my thoughts on it.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Yeah. Everyone posts public details of drug buys. Nah. She's a cheater. Dump her


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Your friend likes dopehead cheaters?
Ditch the Witch.

she sounds like she has a rather special case of black cloud syndrome. If your friend stays around that creature, he’s sure to get rained on.


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

She's lying, gaslighting your friend and hooking up with the ex.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

GC1234 said:


> She's lying, gaslighting your friend and hooking up with the ex.


Agreed, the thing is, it’s lousy gaslighting even... she should at least make the gaslighting at least a little believable...


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Ooh, neat! She's got herself a druggie! 🤔 

Clearly not a keeper.


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Please encourage your friend to move on from this woman. She is not marriage material. Not only for being into drugs but for being an unfaithful woman. Blocking her fiancé should be an automatic to end the engagement but instead he chases after her and sends friend request? H no. If she’s like this during engagement, can you imagine how entitled and mean she will be once she has you locked down with marriage and a couple of kids.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Are they sharing a place together or do they have separate places? But here is the bigger question what is he looking to do? 
1. is he just looking to break away from her ? 
2. does he first want to discover if she is cheating and then break away from her? 
3. If he discovers she is cheating will he still stay with her? 

if it's number two then he could hire a PI


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Evinrude58 said:


> Agreed, the thing is, it’s lousy gaslighting even... she should at least make the gaslighting at least a little believable...


When God made certain people, he must've spilled too much stupid...Hehe


----------



## Intolerant72 (Jun 17, 2021)

I asked him why he was looking at her Facebook page and he said that she was acting really weird when had spoken to her the night before and that morning something felt off in his gut so he just happened to look at her FB page. I also told him that he will never be able to prove anything so he had 2 choices to make.
1) live with what she has told him as the truth and keep getting disrespected in every aspect of his relationship. 
2) tell her no ****ing way in hell will you allow her to treat him with such disregard and with complete indifference.


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

He should trust his gut. We have had all kind of threads of spouses that felt something was up but had no evidence. Once TAM helped the poster by posing questions that helped them see there are red flags that they should be concerned about, they suggest deeper and lo and behold, there was some hanky panky going on. 

In your buddy’s case, his fiancé blocking him on social media should be enough to make him want to bounce. What man would marry a woman who wants to hide her life from her future husband?


----------



## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

What was his reaction to your two options?

hopefully he wakes up before too long and the pain he experiences from the inevitable grows exponentially!!!


----------



## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

Lots of red flags. He will end up in a life of misery if he married her. He should take these as warning signs and break the engagement off. 

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark


YNWA


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Once a woman starts doing what this one is doing, you might as well dump her. Few guys that love a woman want to turn loose and will ride that pony until they throw him off.
This is a crystal clear example of a woman to turn loose of before she takes you straight to hell! Ruuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

The fact that his 'fiancée' blocked him on social media is really all he needs to know. I am typically inclined to be understanding, try to work things out, etc, but that would make me RUN.


----------



## Intolerant72 (Jun 17, 2021)

He agreed about the two options, but like so many of us have done at one point in our lives he is allowing her to gaslight him to the moon. So he is believing her because I'm guessing this is not her first time having to lie about such things in her lifetime and is throwing plausible explanations. He will have them moments when he snaps back to reality and realizes that what she has told him doesn't mesh very well with his own common sense of how and why things are said or done. He will start to discredit her anyway he can and because of his common sense and maybe a year from now they will be separated and he will be wishing he took some simple advise about things that we have lived.
That's all that I can do for him,I have lead him to the truth he refuses to listen to that truth.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Do they live together?


----------



## Intolerant72 (Jun 17, 2021)

Yes they live together but I do believe that it's her place and he will have to figure something out when that time comes


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> *Blocking fiance on social media = end of engagement.*
> Why would the guy even call her to ask, I would never bother to contact her again.
> 
> It's over ...... unless he's a total doormat.


Correct.

100% ^this^


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Anyone who blocks their SO on social media isn't worth it.
In fact...


----------

