# Ok so It's been a few



## MyKidsMom (Feb 5, 2008)

And yes here I am again. Hubby went away for the weekend on his HD and Monday at 11:30pm he got a text from 2 gals. "Hey we just wanted to make sure u got home ok" they signed it. \

Why do I say for those of you that know my past why am I so stupid???????? Why do I not think enought of my self or my son to just go?????????? Im an a$$ could some one just kick me I so need it. for the last 3 years my life has been this storm and I just want honesty and to get the he77 out. Why cant I Help please Im not sure what to do I swear if someone would just kick me in the head I would get I I promise. Please some words of wisdom Im sinking fast or should I say losing my self.


----------



## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

Mom,

Just remember a day in life is gone no matter what the situation.

God, doesn't give days or years back for good deeds.

I am willing to kick your head, time to leave.

Take the chances, you know what is now.


----------



## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

MyKidsMom said:


> And yes here I am again. Hubby went away for the weekend on his HD and Monday at 11:30pm he got a text from 2 gals. "Hey we just wanted to make sure u got home ok" they signed it. \
> 
> Why do I say for those of you that know my past why am I so stupid???????? Why do I not think enought of my self or my son to just go?????????? Im an a$$ could some one just kick me I so need it. for the last 3 years my life has been this storm and I just want honesty and to get the he77 out. Why cant I Help please Im not sure what to do I swear if someone would just kick me in the head I would get I I promise. Please some words of wisdom Im sinking fast or should I say losing my self.


You know what you need to do, and you need to believe in yourself, you have the strength to do it. I recommend you find a support group of some sort. A local group here that helped me was a single mom's group. I will always remember that very special group of women, who were there for me when I needed them most. It was through a church, and I met some really good people who went through what I did. For me it has worked out and I am still married but I leaned on these ladies. Do a google search in your area try to find a single mom's group, get the emotional support you need. As long as you stay with him, you can never meet your true love and a man like this, isn't your true love. You are worth more.


----------



## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

Leaving is always one of the most difficult decisions to make and when we decide in our heart, our head generally screws things up because we get scared and often times convince ourselves that maybe it will change, maybe we can just get it together if I do this or they do that...and it never works quite the way we hope.

I haven't read your other posts so I am unaware if there are financial issues, or what, that might be stopping you from leaving. The first thing to do is to make an exit strategy...where you are going, what you are going to do, how much money will it take, find a lawyer to protect yourself and your kids. Much like doing a major essay project in HS, make an outline of what you will need to leave, what will it take.

And the last thing to put on the outline...is a date that you are going...and then go.

Blessed Be,
Preacher


----------



## daddymikey1975 (Apr 18, 2009)

JDPreacher said:


> Leaving is always one of the most difficult decisions to make and when we decide in our heart, our head generally screws things up because we get scared and often times convince ourselves that maybe it will change, maybe we can just get it together if I do this or they do that...and it never works quite the way we hope.
> 
> I haven't read your other posts so I am unaware if there are financial issues, or what, that might be stopping you from leaving. The first thing to do is to make an exit strategy...where you are going, what you are going to do, how much money will it take, find a lawyer to protect yourself and your kids. Much like doing a major essay project in HS, make an outline of what you will need to leave, what will it take.
> 
> ...


EXCELLENT advice.. and if you need us to help with your outline, just ask


----------



## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

I gave you my strength to walk out the door, you will not beleive the adventures that await you.


----------



## MyKidsMom (Feb 5, 2008)

Oh holly molly you guys are so wonderful. Thank you, Thank you , Thank you. I have tears in my eyes right now cause I know you all are 100% right. Im so scared not that he would hurt me or even be mean to me, cause of course once I confront him he is great for a few and then back to the same old same old. But to leave my life after 15 years yuck.. Im a mess and dont want to see the light or reidqa01 said to see the adventure awaiting me. Darn I keep saying that if I only knew for sure, but why do I do that???? Why can I not see the writing on the wall????? My sis has told me to get an exit plan started and I just dont know how to I guess Im scared. I have never been afraid in my life I have been out on my own since I was 13 and been large and in charge. Now Im 40 and I am the biggest baby I know. Dam Thanks for the kicks it does help, now I guess it's my move.


----------



## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

Mom,

You would not know the adventures trust me I was thirty when finally went to my light.

My god the adventures is beyond this forum, heck everybody CPU would catch fire.

Do not discount this fact.


----------



## MyKidsMom (Feb 5, 2008)

Ok so the tears keep coming this has not happened to me in a long time, I cant stop. Im kind of scaring myself. I guess I know what this all means, not that it makes it any easier but now I hurt. 

There is this movie I was watching " What love is" this gal said she would rather be dumped than to do the dumping cause if she did the dumping then she would always wonder did she do the right thing....... Oh god I know how she feels, when I was younger I always did the dumping cause they all cheated but I caught them red handed, with this I feel afraid of the unknown.


----------



## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

Yes, you are the one holding yourself back. 

You can leave here today, and live your life like this forever. Why there are many that have elected to do such.

Its your time now.


----------



## MyKidsMom (Feb 5, 2008)

The first step is the hardest....... I guess I should know, cause like you said Im the one holding me back. I am also the only one that can make me happy, I have not been happy in a very long time.


----------

