# believing the compliments



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

okay so for those of you who don't know my story I found my wife falling into an EA and ended it post haste. So far no contact nothing but faithfulness. I just still have a hard time believing her in general when it comes to our relationship. Nothing seems quite right like I am hitting a brick wall. I am the type of person that asks hard questions but I just seem to be getting nothing out of her. I don't know if it is just my brain that is just stuck on "everything she says is [email protected]#$t or what." The house seems better the sex good, but our communication is lackluster. Not nearly what it used to be post EA bashing. I wish we could afford a MC but the only one we could attend was the free councilor through my church and she is great. But her evening hours are limited because the church can't employ her full time so she headed home the usual time I am available to see her.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

I think it just might be a matter of time. Do not follow your heart for it will deceive you. Lead your heart. What do you want out of your marriage?

It must honestly be very hard. I am sorry you are here brother. I honestly wish you the best of luck. 

You may have found that it has been hard for her too and it is difficult for both of you. Keep working.


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

badbane said:


> okay so for those of you who don't know my story I found my wife falling into an EA and ended it post haste. So far no contact nothing but faithfulness. I just still have a hard time believing her in general when it comes to our relationship. Nothing seems quite right like I am hitting a brick wall. I am the type of person that asks hard questions but I just seem to be getting nothing out of her. I don't know if it is just my brain that is just stuck on "everything she says is [email protected]#$t or what." The house seems better the sex good, but our communication is lackluster. Not nearly what it used to be post EA bashing. I wish we could afford a MC but the only one we could attend was the free councilor through my church and she is great. But her evening hours are limited because the church can't employ her full time so she headed home the usual time I am available to see her.


if she is remorseful and not continuing, if you have examined the issues in your marriage that led her down that path and are working on those things, if you are communicating about the changes and how that is going, then from there you must be patient and allow time to pass. Also, as you stated you ask the "hard q's" and I am that way as well. I found though that taking a different approach with my wife worked wonders. My natural come straight at you approach intimidated her and caused her to have a hard time thinking clearly. We talked about it and now I write to her when I am in a mood and that allows her to process and not feel like she is being judged. Works for us. Just a thought...Good luck


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Perhaps she has given up to a certain degree or feels like she is in a marriage she does not want. Or maybe she still has feeling for 'him' and just can't get back into a emotional groove with you. Or maybe she has issues with guilt or depression. Perhaps she senses you are not forgiving her the way she wants you to... 

Communication is the most difficult part of a relationship.

But keep at it and I hope this all turns around for you.


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Perhaps she has given up to a certain degree or feels like she is in a marriage she does not want. Or maybe she still has feeling for 'him' and just can't get back into a emotional groove with you. Or maybe she has issues with guilt or depression. Perhaps she senses you are not forgiving her the way she wants you to...
> 
> Communication is the most difficult part of a relationship.
> 
> But keep at it and I hope this all turns around for you.


what was lacking in your marriage to begin with? What led her down that path? What has she communicated to you that she feels is/was missing?


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