# Just a porn question



## stepmomandwife08

As Im looking through these threads and i see alot of people saying how bad porn is and ive seen people say porn isnt a bad thing...Why is porn bad?!? I honestly dont have an issue with my husband having or watching porn....But I just never understood why it can be a big issue to some people.So I want to hear both sides..why its bad and why its good.


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## voivod

stepmomandwife08 said:


> As Im looking through these threads and i see alot of people saying how bad porn is and ive seen people say porn isnt a bad thing...Why is porn bad?!? I honestly dont have an issue with my husband having or watching porn....But I just never understood why it can be a big issue to some people.So I want to hear both sides..why its bad and why its good.


kinda eye of the beholder in my opinion. a case can be made that it's exploitive. it can be degrading to some, it does tend to minimize the "love" part of sex. it can be addictive and take away from a relationship. no different, i suppose than any other addiction. it costs money, it can jeopardize your standing in the community, children can be negatively affected by it.

ask someone why guns are bad, booze is bad, technology is bad, politicians are bad. someone can give you a list. so far as porn, it appeals to the prurient interset of a society, therefore it's more's (MOR-ays) are lowered. not a good starting point for a law-abiding society.


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## stumped

I agree with the above post.
I dont have a problem with my man looking at porn as long as it doesnt effect our sexual relationship then it doesnt bother me. Sometimes its fun to get new ideas from porn and you can watch it together for added fun.


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## stepmomandwife08

stumped said:


> I agree with the above post.
> I dont have a problem with my man looking at porn as long as it doesnt effect our sexual relationship then it doesnt bother me. Sometimes its fun to get new ideas from porn and you can watch it together for added fun.


I agree with that too..If he starts not wanting sex and i find him looking at porn then im not going to a happy girl..


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## Blanca

I think its wrong b/c of the way its filmed. There are naked people standing around having sex while other people watch and film it. Just thinking about the production aspect of it, and what those people do to each other, without even knowing each other, is just wrong in my opinion.


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## stepmomandwife08

ljtseng said:


> I think its wrong b/c of the way its filmed. There are naked people standing around having sex while other people watch and film it. Just thinking about the production aspect of it, and what those people do to each other, without even knowing each other, is just wrong in my opinion.


I personally think that making a porn would be fun.I think its cool that people can be comfortable in their skin and their sexuality.But I am a very sexual person so that might just be me just because I love sex lol:smthumbup:


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## Earthmother1970

stepmomandwife08 said:


> I agree with that too..If he starts not wanting sex and i find him looking at porn then im not going to a happy girl..


My husband crossed that line. Spent all his time loving himself up with the Palm Sisters and some internet porn fun. When eventually confronted, he said it was because I had "let myself go" and seemed to be tired all the time. 
At that point, I had only recently managed to get my severe asthma ( serious enough that walking up a set of stairs involved stopping halfway up) and was practically single handedly taking care of the 3 children we then had ( we now have 4.) I was on the go from early in the morning until 10 or later at night.
Although we obviously had sex at least once more after the porn discovery, it was never the same afterwards. He had promised he would stop watching it, but that didn't last for long. He had taken me for granted for years. Criticised and corrected me. Nothing ever seemed to be good enough....well, there were a number of issues which left me feeling miserable, trapped, and hating the person I had become. But the porn was the beginning of the end.
I now want a seperation, which he says if I follow through on, will esult in a divorce as far as he is concerned, as he will want to move on with his life either as a single man or find somebody else. I still want to seperate, regardless.


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## draconis

stepmomandwife08 said:


> As Im looking through these threads and i see alot of people saying how bad porn is and ive seen people say porn isnt a bad thing...Why is porn bad?!? I honestly dont have an issue with my husband having or watching porn....But I just never understood why it can be a big issue to some people.So I want to hear both sides..why its bad and why its good.


I don't care if my wife has a drink of alcohol but she is not an alcoholic either.

Besides the fact some women and men find it religiously objectionable, others have moral issues with it.

Most however dislike the addition aspect of it, that a guy or gal will forsake sex to watch and perform to porn. Further it cuts into any and all social time for some that are addicted, one person on here (I think) her husband got fired for watching it at work, so it became a financial strain.

draconis


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## GAsoccerman

I can understand both sides of the argument.

As drac said, some people do not like it for their own moral and religious issues. 

Some ment for whatever reason like porn more then their wives, but porn is the outlet there is usually more to the marriage issue, more of a deeper issue.

Now I am in the "pro-porn" corner, I like to watch some of it, but also found we like to do do our (my wife and I) own photoshoots, I like photography and have taken some very nice pics of my wife. It's mor artistic then porn pics.

But we have also made our own movies, and my wife has made some "solo" movies for me on her day off.

I will watch my wife's video 100X more then any other porn.

They say a good porn for women is "the Pirates" movie with Jessie Jane. We ahve the rated R version, but thee is a X version out there, and from what I understand the majority of women like it, because it has a "script" and not just sex.

But really it is a personal opinion. Often women compare their bodies to the porn actors trying to figure out what "they are missing" and what their husbands are looking for. When it reality we could care less. If I tried to compare myself to a man in a porn, I would never "measure up" those are special men...lol


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## Amplexor

OK I’ll bite and post my standard (modified) rant here. 

I will get up on my soap box again and point out that we have seen many come here hurt because of a spouse’s use of porn. I used porn briefly as a “release” a couple of years ago and it definitely hurt my marriage. There where other issues also but the porn had an impact. For those of you out there who are engaged in using pornography, think about the impact it could have on your spouse’s feelings. If they have self confidence issues about their looks, weight or sexual abilities, finding out will exacerbate them. It could leave them feeling unloved and undesired. Especially if the porn has replaced much of the couples’ sexual intimacy. Your spouse may also wonder what you are bringing to the bed with you when you are making love. Who or what you may have seen on line that you are thinking about when you make love to them. Put yourself in their place and how you’d feel if they did the same to you. I don’t know if I can classify the use of porn as “cheating” but it can definitely hurt your spouse and that is wrong in any form. If both spouses are OK with it or share it together, that’s fine. Consenting adults and all and I have no problem with that from a marriage standpoint. But I do have a problem with it from a moral and social standpoint. I am not a prude or holy-roller by any stretch but I do believe that making love is supposed to be between two loving people in a committed relationship. Not something to be filmed for the almighty dollar and the entertainment of others. Porn hurts lots of people. The young man or woman at a college party that gets drunk and does something stupid while some perv videos it and sells it online for a hundred bucks. It will no doubt be an act they will regret for the rest of their lives. The porn industry uses people then tosses them aside like a used condom when they have served their purposes. There are very few Jenna Jamison stories of wealth and celebrity status. Not to mention the many who leave the “business” diseased, addicted and broken. It pollutes the minds of our young people and desensitizes them to what making love is all about. It sets unobtainable expectations for them in choosing a mate and partner. It exposes them to acts of violence, incest and rape and presents it as “normal” with selections like menu items at a diner. Point and click for your selected debauchery. It is a pollutant in our moral fiber and it is available 24X7 on virtually every device connected to the Internet. Some on this forum disagree with me that it isn’t just a trivial “release” for someone to engage in. That’s fine, we are all entitled to our opinions, but we have seen many on this forum who have suffered from it. Lost their marriage, their love, their money, their trust, their self esteem, their job… OK, I’m done.


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## Blanca

stepmomandwife08 said:


> I personally think that making a porn would be fun.I think its cool that people can be comfortable in their skin and their sexuality.But I am a very sexual person so that might just be me just because I love sex lol:smthumbup:


Ya, maybe. but i think if you actually did it, had people handling you all the time and strange guys banging you all the time, you'd start to feel differently. but then, maybe not.


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## martino

I'm neither for it or against it, depends on how it is used or abused. Depends on the porn too, some is super degrading yet some is geared towards couples with story lines and women being respected (these are often directed by women.) Another point is what a long time director said: "Men are into porn to watch the things their wife will not do and fantasize about it." Just some obesrvations.


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## MarkTwain

I prefer to read kinky erotic stories that cater to my "interests" rather than watch porn, what does everybody think about that?

I find that porn gets boring very quickly because they never bother to set the mood up to my exacting standards, it's all just visual, and I'm not visual.


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## draconis

To me I don't see a difference in erotic stores and porn to tell you the truth.

draconis


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## MarkTwain

draconis said:


> To me I don't see a difference in erotic stores and porn to tell you the truth.
> 
> draconis


You have a point Drac - except that no one gets exploited in the making of the stories, nor does any money change hands - I read the free ones on the web.

So you think it is wrong?


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## martino

I see a difference, one is supplied visual the other requires your own mental imagery. I don't see porn as a bad thing when used in the right hands. :rofl: _thank you i'll be here all week._ 

Seriously folks, for me the older I get, the less appealing porn is, especially that macho alpha male directed Gonzo style porn where the girl is used as a slab of beef. 98% garbage 2% good imo...Vivid is a company that you can rely on for generally good quality. Wife and I have watched Vivid stuff and she likes it.


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## mikee12

Jesus says that if you so much look at another women with lust in your heart then you have commited adultry with her in your heart.I also believe that this works both ways.

If a person is looking at porn then they are not as interested in you as they say.I also believe that even though he or she might not cheat right now they will give some serious consideration to it in the future because they have laready taken the first step.


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## Blanca

MarkTwain said:


> You have a point Drac - except that no one gets exploited in the making of the stories, nor does any money change hands - I read the free ones on the web.
> 
> So you think it is wrong?


I dont think those are wrong. I love erotic books.


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## GAsoccerman

LJ interesting you don't like porn but find erotic books OK. 

I usually call that women's porn.

My wife and I ahe several "Letters to penthouse books" She will read them out loud to me, it's quite fun.

becuase allot of it we would never do, and some of it is so fake you can tell it was written by a "writer" 

But it is still good fun, there maybe a few that get us both hot and bothered.


Again it is up to the individuals or couples to talk this out and find a comfort zone.


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## Blanca

GAsoccerman said:


> LJ interesting you don't like porn but find erotic books OK.


Sure i dont even mind books with drawings. just as long as its not 'real' people 'really' doing it. I actually took a class on sex and religion and we went over hinduism. very cool stuff.


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## voivod

ljtseng said:


> Sure i dont even mind books with drawings. just as long as its not 'real' people 'really' doing it. I actually took a class on sex and religion and we went over hinduism. very cool stuff.


that brings an interesting point up. erotic art, drawings, they're not "real people." how about artist depictions of obviously underage people? should that be considered illegal the same as photos and video of under-18 people?


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## Blanca

voivod said:


> how about artist depictions of obviously underage people? should that be considered illegal the same as photos and video of under-18 people?


You know I walk past the law library everyday...and never have the desire to go in.


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## MarkTwain

ljtseng said:


> You know I walk past the law library everyday...and never have the desire to go in.


The Law library???

I can not imagine a more un-sexy place


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## Blanca

MarkTwain said:


> The Law library???
> 
> I can not imagine a more un-sexy place


lol oh i dont know. it has its moments.


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## italiana86

To be honest, I don't know if Porn is a bad thing...
I don't think that God loves people for watching it. But I think it depends how you use it in a relationship... If you watch porn and leave your partner besides you, turned the other way because you feel uncomfortable, than this is a BAD thing... How can you prefer playing with your self, only please yourself than sharing love to your partner! It's not about Sex in a marriage, for me it's more about making LOVE, sharing affectionate and LOVE and not just to be pleased. I think porn is in this case just to please themselves. And making Love is something personal not everyone should watch you doing it.
But however you can use it in different ways to, for example to get ideas, or for whatever reason.

I'm more against than for it. I learnt beeing OK with it, but I could live for sure 10000 % without it!

I don't know but this morning I realized that I start hating my H for that and I don't want to. I love him and don't want to give up our marriage just for a sexual problem.

He blames me, that I am the problem because I'm to weak accepting these things... He sayed he wouldn't care if I would do stuff like that... I don't know what to thing about that.

I'm very frustrated right now. Every woman or man is different...


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## swedish

italiana86 said:


> He blames me, that I am the problem because I'm to weak accepting these things... He sayed he wouldn't care if I would do stuff like that... I don't know what to thing about that.


I think that is a cop out...he is disrespecting your feelings and using the 'it's no big deal...everyone does it...lighten up' excuse to brush this off. In reality, if it's affecting your relationship with him, it's a problem.

He wouldn't care if you did stuff like that...so what? You are 2 different people. What if you were both financially strained right now but you decided to spend $300 on shoes every month and he was totally upset about it...in this case your response could be that women love shoes and he needs to be stronger and more accepting of these things...and you wouldn't mind if he did it. I'm guessing that wouldn't fly with him...and this is shoes....porn can be a whole different animal, where insecurities and feelings of being 'not good enough' can easily creep into your mind.


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## italiana86

swedish said:


> I think that is a cop out...he is disrespecting your feelings and using the 'it's no big deal...everyone does it...lighten up' excuse to brush this off. In reality, if it's affecting your relationship with him, it's a problem.
> 
> He wouldn't care if you did stuff like that...so what? You are 2 different people. What if you were both financially strained right now but you decided to spend $300 on shoes every month and he was totally upset about it...in this case your response could be that women love shoes and he needs to be stronger and more accepting of these things...and you wouldn't mind if he did it. I'm guessing that wouldn't fly with him...and this is shoes....porn can be a whole different animal, where insecurities and feelings of being 'not good enough' can easily creep into your mind.


yes and this is in my mind!!! this is how I feel!!! I know that I could never hold with someone out of a porn and thats why I'm not a pornstar , Iam who Iam! I really think it might be true that Iam not good enough for him. He never told me that, but he told me that pornos sounds turn him on and so on, and I don't do this noises... isn't the most in porn just fake ??
why should i make noises that lound when he doesn't even "deserve" them. (I hope you know what I mean with deserve!)


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## swedish

My guess is that he's used porn to satisfy his sexual urges for so long that he may be addicted to it...I honestly doubt that he feels you are not good enough, but I can totally understand why you have that fear. As far as you doing things to please him, there is nothing wrong with variety and adventure in the bedroom but you need to be comfortable with it or it will only make you feel bad and likely will not do it for him if you are not into it.

If my husband said he liked the noises, i'd probably make him an audio tape with my voice...but I would have fun doing something like that and leaving it for him to find.

As far as noises go, I think it varies from one woman to the next...I should keep Duct Tape on my nightstand, but that's just me


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## italiana86

I mean , one time I did and he told me to stop twice.
That makes me feel now uncomfortable to try it again.
I have sometimes that feeling that he doesn't want to tell
me what exactly he likes. I know he likes clothes. Mostly black.
He doesn't like to do it naked. This was no problem, we cut a hole in some stalkins LoL 

It's not that I don't want to make him happy. I did a lot of things with that I have never done with someone else before, and I would do everything to please him!
But what is about me. Sometimes he does good stuff , too and he is a great H , I love him very much , but this thing YES it is an addiction and he knows that bothers me a lot.

I tryed to be ok with it but when he started to play with his self while I was lying next to him (a couple times already) with watching pornos or while I'm in the bathroom taking a shower, I just get a weird feeling.
I always wanted a man that can wait for me ( and I love having Love, we did it almost every day, sometimes twice)
Now he needs a break? ok, but take your breake, but actually a brake is not doing anything!!! Or if you really need it go in the bathroom and don't tell anyone!!! But I think he wants me to know.


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## Flutterlashes

I think Porn can be a healthy part of a relationship if it is shared. My problem is that it has taken the place of my sex life and was viewed secretly and that has hurt my feelings, as I am not an inferior to the woman portrayed.


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## sarah.rslp

I think there's been an attempt in the last decade to push porn into the mainstream. It's perfectly normal, just a bit of fun for uninhibited people etc etc.

I've never bought into it. I'm pretty open minded sexually and I've never messed guys around with sex. So my attitude has always been that if I'm with a guy that wants to watch it well I'm obviously not enough for him so he had better take himself away and find someone else.


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## italiana86

its just good if its shared! if not, i don't think so!!!


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## guitarcat213

*The true difference between Porn and Erotica is.... (drumroll please....) 

Personal taste and personal opinion.

Pornography in an of itself is not harmful. Research reveals that while some people do not feel comfortable with pornography, it is not related to violence or other crime.

Also, there is no such thing as porn "addiction"... you CAN be compulsive about your use of porn just like people can be compulsive about shopping, sex, texting, etc... But it does not actually meet the medical (DSM) criteria of addiction like alcohol or drug addiction.

Though pornography in and of itself is not harmful... what DOES matter is how a couple negotiate it. If porn is POSITIVE for both members of the couple, then GREAT! If porn is NEGATIVE for one member of the couple, well then communication and negotiation has to happen...

The USA is one of the most sex-negative countries in the world... and Most of us who grow up here grow up affected by that. It's a tough thing to surmount.*


~ Cat
*Newlywed Wife, Sexologist, Musician, Daughter, Sister, *Friend


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## Blanca

guitarcat213 said:


> Also, there is no such thing as porn "addiction"... it does not actually meet the medical (DSM) criteria of addiction like alcohol or drug addiction.


Its not listed yet, but im sure in time it will be.


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## hlnlnge

I think that I'm also split in two as far as this subject goes, but feel that once your partner has a problem with you watching porn because of the way it makes them feel, it's not okay. For some it's acceptable for their spouses to watch porn. In that case I would say yes. But if you have someone in the background feeling unloved and unwanted because of your interest in porn, and you (knowing how it makes them feel) continue it - then no. Then you are chosing porn over your spouse's feelings. Everyone feels differently about it - accept that you may have a spouse that feels that it's not acceptable and honour their feelings.


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## Guest

Porn is bad because you're masturbating over somebody else other than your partner.


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## GPR

Porn being bad isn't just in the eye of the beholder, but more importantly, in the eye of the beholder's significant other...

I have no issues with Porn. People complain all the time about it being degrading, etc. If you don't like it because of that, that's fine. Me personally, I don't agree with that. 99% of the people in those movies made a choice to do what they are doing, and many profit from it, some greatly profit. No different from alcohol. 

Again, I don't mind Porn at all. I used to watch it. I wouldn't sit around all day wacking off in front of my TV or Computer (not that I didn't do it a time and again), but I would watch it. Actually, it served as an aid to my fantasies. I gave me ideas. Positions, techniques, new places to try, etc. I've never considered it a big deal. For me watching porn was in no way any negative indication of my wife or whoever I was with at the time. Actually, on the times I did masturbate while watching porn, it wasn't because I wanted that girl in the movie. It was simply aiding in my fantasy, adding a visual and vocal stimulation to masturbation which is normally only physical stimulation. I can insert myself and my wife into what's going on in the movie, and just would add something. I have never and would never EVER chose a porn and a tug to sex with my wife EVER. And if I ever had movies of myself and my wife having sex... I would always choose that 100% of the time rather than porn. 

BUT, while I didn't think it was a problem at first. My wife had a big problem with it. She confronted me about it... I realized how it made her feel, so I stopped. Since then, we watched a couple of them together, but I don't watch them on my own anymore. I still to this day don't think there is a single thing wrong with it, but because my wife views it differently, I don't watch it. Just one of those compromises that you make in a relationship.


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## Mommybean

I don't have a problem with porn, I'll watch it with my H if we can find a decent one. The only way it would become an issue with me is if it was being chosen OVER relations with me. Then it would become an issue. My H knows that there is not much I would be unwilling to try with him, so as long as its not taking MY place then i'm ok.....


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## subwife

I don't like it because it makes me feel like I am not good enough. I can somewhat tolerate it if I am with him; but then again I sometimes feel as though I am there to act outwhat he is seeing. Like stated before to me it takes the love out of sex. Then when we are having sex I have to wonder if he's having sex with me, or the chick hesaw the night before. Needless to say I don't have alot fo self worth and my husband knows this......which makes it hurt even more.


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## MarkTwain

subwife-
After years of probing, my wife finally told me that she sometimes imagines I am someone else when we are having sex. I was surprised at first, but I am quite happy about it now.

At one point, when she told me a little about the type of guy she imagined, During sex, I used to whisper things in her ear about what he was going to do with her etc. Sometimes, this got us both quite hot. I'm not very good at the sexy talk, I am more into sensations, but it's fun to try.

Actually, I believe if I practised enough, I could get good at it - but not in a hurry.


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## italiana86

ljtseng said:


> Its not listed yet, but im sure in time it will be.


read this in :

>> Talk About Marriage >> Focused Topics >> Relationships and Addiction >> Getting Married but he has a porn addiction

Mr B's Post!!!


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## racemom

To subwife: AMEN!!!!!!!! I also am reminded daily about the little extra I have here or there and if I would just work out a little bit, it wouldn't be there! If I had time to work out, I would! I have other priorities, my kids and time with them. If he wants to have sex with them then he can leave. We have been fighting for 15 years over him secretly looking at porn. He still won't quit. Guess how I feel doesn't matter to him.


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## GAsoccerman

see that is the thing....some men ARE delusional...

what makes him thing these "hot babes" want him? 

You know I want my wife to lose a few pounds, but you know what...My butt needs to lose some as well....it's a wash.

when my wife married me I was 140 now I am 180, she was 98LBS and now 115lbs (after 3 kids) So who the hell am I to tell her she has "extra pounds?" apparently my butt is bigger....LOL

to me it s either a "joint effort" or no effort at all. either both workout to maintain a healthy lifestyle together for each other, or you live as you see fit.

also it's a sad case of reality of these men when they hit the "dating world" when reality hits them upside the head....OOPS the super model wants the young stud....not you. :rofl:


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## been through it all 2008

I guess in some ways you could say this is my soap box too, so this might be long. The biggest reason porn is bad, is because the Bible says it is sin. Like someone mentioned above, the verses that say if a man looks upon a woman to lust after her, he's committed adultery already in his heart. The Bible says to flee from fornication. Fornication is talked about again and again to avoid it. The Greek word translated fornication is porneia, from which the English word "pornographic" is derived. When David saw Bathsheba bathing outside, he lusted after her, he wanted what he saw and he got what he saw. She ended up getting pregnant, but her husband was at battle so she knew the baby was David's. David then ordered her husband to the frontline where he was murdered. David knew this would happen. So all because of his lust of one woman, it caused other actions, in this case, murder. If you look at statistics in child molestation, rape, a lot of murder, cases and you dig deep, you will find that it started with pornography. Two that come to mind are John Wayne Gacey and Jeffrey Domer. It is degrading to women all over, yes the ones that do it choose to do it, but what they do makes it bad for all women. Look at the man or men (can't remember names) who get so disgusted after a while of women and thinking of them as *****s, that they go hire a prostitutes and kill them. It starts in the heart and eventually will come out. I have also read where the images of porn are burned into the brain and thoughts of it consume them, after so long and so much looking, the brain is affected, can't think the right way, can't concentrate, etc. I could go on and on. The whole porn thing is so deeply infesting our society as a whole, and our future generation. It is ruining lives, marriages, and families!


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## picabu

try coming home & act interested in what he is looking at & get him to show you the guys with the biggest schlongs...see how he likes it if you are interested...may scare him right of the site, he won't know what to think. :scratchhead: let him catch you looking alone. 

personally i like looking at porn & don't care if my significant other does, i enjoy looking at it together. :smthumbup: usually gets me in the mood. i blame it on i am a scorpio. :rofl:


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## sean456

The people are loosing their moral while becoming modern. The
society needs to be attentive that moral value.
Sean Cruz
[rel="dofollow" url=http://www.alcoholismtreatment.info rel="dofollow"]alcoholism treatment[/url]


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## Fritz

MarkTwain said:


> You have a point Drac - except that no one gets exploited in the making of the stories, nor does any money change hands - I read the free ones on the web.
> 
> So you think it is wrong?


What site are the free ones?


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## ashamed

well I used to think that porn was not a big deal until I crossed the line with my wife. She never was real into it but did because she wanted to please me. We watched a little, read playboy and had a couple toys. Things seemed to be ok until I pushed the envelope it eventually moved into swinging. Now I don't know if it was a normal progression or just that I became weak enough to allow it to enter out marriage and led to a pending divorce. We are both adults and made out decision but I still do and will always hold myself accountable for the destruction of a 11yr relationship, 8yr marriage with 2 children. All I know is that I allowed it to control me and now I refuse to look, engage in the conversation with friends or co-workers about having fun with porn. I never thought I was weak minded enough to allow things to get out of control. Porn a very slippery slope in my opinion


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## Farfignewton

It's not so much the porn itself as I myself have enjoyed porn in the past. It is the fact that your partner chooses porn over you. My husband cut our sex life down to barely a trickle thanks to porn. I now hate what I once enjoyed and I never get sex. I am a good looking twenty-six year old who is going to go friggin' nuts because of this issue. Cheating or divorce seem like the only solutions at this point as I do not want to ruin my children's lives because he's a selfish a-hole.


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## Twisted Guts

I think it goes either way. If porn takes over your life then it's a bad thing. If you would rather watch a movie and do 'it' yourself, then it's a problem. I'm in a situation right now having to do with porn. My wife is strictly against it when it come to me using it as a visual thing for myself, but on the other hand, we've used it in our own bedroom numerous times, we've made our own movies (which I prefer over anything else), she's been known to sent little clips of herself to me on my phone, she frequents the local strip club (female by the way) FAR more than I do, and she has no problem with the idea of our two daughters becoming strippers to pay for say college of something. I, as a father, seriously wish for this to NOT happen. I'm in a seriously confused place myself right now... To me if porn is used occationally and doesn't affect the sexual relationship of two partners, then it's ok.


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## reidqa01

I am tired of porn, we never get to see the end of a movie


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## justgluit

In my personal opinion there isn't a good and bad side to porn. Those whose relationships have been hurt through porn know first hand how destructive porn can be at times. Everybody else is either hiding their porn or they're in a relationship from which they don'y have to hide it. 
Porn is fundamentally sin. Because we are sinful by nature, we are all OK with some sin. Our pet sin may vary from lying about something to using profanity casually but for some of us porn is our pet sin because of the sexual gratification it brings. Sexual attraction, physical and visual stimulation and physical climax are all a part of our nature and physical makeup by God's creative design. Sexual activity is governed by God as well. (Forgive me for not using scriptural references, I would like to speak plainly to keep from sounding preachy)God established boundaries that limited the marriage bed (sex) to husband and wife. Simply put, husband and wife in - all others out. Through porn, whether it be by film, pictures, or forum we are allowing people other than our spouses access to a part of us that should belong to no one else but our spouse. I realize that there are couples that enjoy watching porn together. I applaud your willingness to meet the sexual needs of your spouse. However, I would also like to warn you that the search for that "extra something" that seems to be missing may lead to an addiction for one of you and or lure you out of fellowship with God. Share your heart only with God and the one you love!
:smthumbup:


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## ozymandias

been through it all 2008 said:


> The biggest reason porn is bad, is because the Bible says it is sin.


The Christian bible says that eating shellfish is a sin as well... so clearly watching porn is about as bad as eating shrimp. Right?


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## swedish

I like eating oysters when I whip out the ole porn stash

...kidding...TGIF


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## Sven

ozymandias said:


> The Christian bible says that eating shellfish is a sin as well... so clearly watching porn is about as bad as eating shrimp. Right?


Read Acts.

I'm learning a lot of the sexual side of marriage from this forum. It seems by setting up my own walls of what is acceptable - I've almost killed my marriage.

This certainly is not what God intends.

The only possible Bible verse that applies is where Jesus says adultery includes looking at a woman with lust in your heart.

Does this include a man lusting after his own wife? I think not.

Porn is not sinful. My wife seems to be turned on by porn based on what she's told me of her affair and I intend to ask her about using it for our relationship. I will be looking at porn and lusting in my heart AFTER MY OWN WIFE.

I only want to have sex with my wife. So it's easy for me not to commit that particular sin. Porn or not.

We're such sexual prudes in this country it has been destructive to relationships.


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