# Just got served



## ComingHome

Now what?
I do not want divorce.


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## aine

Back ground please?


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## ComingHome

Such as?


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## aine

Sorry you are here. I read your earlier threads and saw the list. 
What makes you think that she was not going to serve, you have been apart for some time, did you expect reconciliation? It didn't look good from your previous posts. Maybe it is time to cut your losses and move on.

It stinks but you are in the right place to get support from those who have been where you are now.


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## ComingHome

I expected reconciliation by reasons in that list. 
It looked good when it was family outings/meals, dating, couples counseling, sleepovers, her ideas of renewing vows, her idea of a new family home, etc


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## aine

But did you actually talk to her about anything in detail? Was there actual communication about your possible future together or was she just playing 'happy families?"


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## GTdad

ComingHome said:


> Now what?
> I do not want divorce.


The first order of business will be to find a lawyer and get an Answer to the lawsuit filed. You have approximately four weeks to avoid the possibility of a default judgment, give or take.

I know you don't want a divorce, but the worst thing you could do is bury your head in the sand and hope this goes away. You are now a defendant in a lawsuit, and need to take care of the immediate business of dealing with it.


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## toonaive

GTdad said:


> The first order of business will be to find a lawyer and get an Answer to the lawsuit filed. You have approximately four weeks to avoid the possibility of a default judgment, give or take.
> 
> I know you don't want a divorce, but the worst thing you could do is bury your head in the sand and hope this goes away. You are now a defendant in a lawsuit, and need to take care of the immediate business of dealing with it.


This. YOu have to answer the service. Unfortunately, you cannot stop her from divorcing you if that is what she ultimately wants. Maybe during the process things might change. Maybe not. Ultimately, you have to push through your feelings and protect yourself. Divorce is a business transactions, nothing more. Keep her from a hostile takeover of your finances and life.


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## MarriedDude

toonaive said:


> This. YOu have to answer the service. Unfortunately, you cannot stop her from divorcing you if that is what she ultimately wants. Maybe during the process things might change. Maybe not. Ultimately, you have to push through your feelings and protect yourself. *Divorce is a business transaction*s, nothing more. Keep her from a hostile takeover of your finances and life.


THIS. Get a lawyer, he will walk you through this.

You need to do this today. DO NOT talk to her until you talk to a lawyer


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## kristin2349

You can't stop a divorce from happening. You can drag it out but it is going to cost you plenty to do so. Since you have been served the clock is ticking and you need a lawyer to go forward.

I read your other threads your estranged W has kept you on the back burner as plan B for long enough, let her go.


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## toonaive

doblin said:


> So is marriage.


DOH! so it is


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## ComingHome

Lots of talk. She suggested to renew vows and purchase a new family home for a new start.


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## ComingHome

I can't stop anything. 
A court can decide to stop it if the requirements are not satisfied. (Which several lawyers say is the case)


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## ComingHome

I have 28 days to file and serve a Response. I will.


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## lifeistooshort

Why would you want a court to stop it? Why would you want to force a woman who doesn't want to be married to you to stay married to you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ComingHome

wrenn said:


> I'll wager a guess that it's because he thinks she'll change her mind she just needs time to figure it out and/or he figures he'll get buried financially so he'd rather stay in a bad marriage indefinitely than end up on the street.


Lean toward the first one if you want to bet the farm. 

Assuming sets you up for a massive failure with the second.


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## aine

I think she has been sending him mixed messages and that is why he is confused and probably thinking there will be an R. I think she has made up her mind, so you should go with it but a the others said, get your ducks in a row because you really don't know if she will play hard ball, she hasn't been exactly forthcoming the way she has been stringing you along.


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## ComingHome

Him? Who me?
So what if an R does happen?
Hard ball? Legally? She doesn't have a lawyer due to $


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## Stretch

Sorry you are here.

I suggest you negotiate a fair divorce being all business during the process.

Start living your life assuming she is gone for good. If she has any desire to R, she will respond in about 90 to 180 days to your indifference to her.

If she moves on, so have you.

By the way, nothing says you cannot marry the same person again.

Be strong,
Stretch


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## toonaive

ComingHome said:


> Lots of talk. She suggested to renew vows and purchase a new family home for a new start.


Dont do this! You may be divorcing, and she wants to tack on more debt as a way to string you along on a hope. I fell into that trap. It was financial mess. 

Here is what my XW tried. I purchased another home in another city. Set the children up in school. I was working on selling our current home, and planning a business move. 

After 2 weeks she wanted a divorce. She had the children, new home, and I had all the bills, two mortgages, no family. 

I played hardball, got attorney, PI's, and the children. She got fired from her job when they found out what she was up to. We "reconciled". That was ten years ago. Six years later, XW started cheating again. I divorced her. She got a little cash, no children, and no alimony. This was my experience in a nutshell. 

Moral of this story is, dont trust request of renewed vows and new home for a new start. You dont need a new home for a new start.


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