# Limiting family and friends involvement



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

I have limited the amount in information or involvement of friends and family in order to keep things amicable and progressive with STBX. I find while it's easy to turn to them it can also be a double edged sword because people will find a way to inject themselves into everything.
Now STBX has been talking to some of her friends and some family and I can see how her older sister's divorce (and two aunts also going through a divorce, her younger sister may be next cause she's also started rambling about her husband too) is creeping into our conversation.
It's never a good idea to involve people right? Shouldn't they be on a need to know basis?


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

I have always thought the less involved the better. Before she walked away, I had only talked with one family member, sadly when she exposed our problem to everyone else it made things very complicated.


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

yes they will make things ALOT more complicated and inject themselves into everything. Someties it's better to keep things between you because it's easier to manage and possibly resolve both in the short and long term.


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## Santofimio (Oct 26, 2011)

Once you're already in the process and not having second thoughts, then there's nothing more to be said even to someone you trust not to interject. Its definitely not a good idea to tell anyone who could interject by contacting stbX themselves or by way of spreading the news to other people who might interject. 

It can be aggravating when the stbX is telling anyone let alone someone in her circle that could possibly tell someone in your circle.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

The thing is, though, sometimes the other family members are also involved. They loved the leaving spouse, they relied on them for assistance, company, etc. and now they got left too. I agree that the others outside the relationship don't need the details, but they have a loss too. They are seeking understanding or at least acceptance. My STBXH has been my mother's son in law for 18 years and he hasn't even been to see her in 8 months. Not very loving.


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