# Women don't take us seriously



## Appleby

Hi, I wonder if the women here could throw in their opinions on something, hence me putting this in the women's section. 

Ok, long story short, I went on holiday to Thailand last year. I met a nice girl there, she's 23 now and I'm 41, so that's an 18 year age gap. We had a few dates and then I went back home to London. A couple of months later she came here too. It was nothing to do with me, she has relatives here and I knew she was going to be here sooner or later. She's now here more or less permanently, and she's working. 

Her english I would say is probably about 70% of a native english speaker. In other words, enough for us to understand each other most of the time, although sometimes it's tricky, depending on what we're talking about. But no big issue. 

Anyway we met a few times, and again, and long story short, now I guess she's my girlfriend. Good for me. 

But women here don't seem to want to take us seriously. I'm not seeking their blessing but it seems to bother them. It's kind of intriguing actually. 

At work, a woman jokingly asked me if I'd had a holiday romance, and I said actually yes, I guess I did, and now she's here and we're dating properly. She said great, congratulations, and so on. But when she asked me about her and I told her that she's 23 and from Thailand, she was like "oh". 

The next day at lunch she was keen to ask me more questions but this time there were a few of her buddies there with her (all female). They took it in turns to ask me this and that, but I could sense that it wasn't just out of interest. It was done in a kind of mocking way. It amused me but after a while I just had to ask the obvious question, which was, why are you all so intrigued by this woman? In other words, why are you fixated on the fact that I'm seeing her? 

The long and the short of it was that they had a problem with me, a 41 year old guy, dating a 23 year old woman. Not only that, but it bothered them that she was of a different culture. Of course, they put on a fake-polite veneer but it was very obvious. 

In complete contrast, all my friends, all my male friends, are totally cool about it. 

The thing is, those women at work have never shown any interest in me, and I have had no interest in them, although they're friendly enough. 

I've also noticed that when we walk down the street I get weird looks from, surprise surprise, women. It happens a lot. 

So why do those women, and by extension, women in general, meaning specifically women in Britain, and presumably the US too, have such an aversion to a 41 year old white guy dating a 23 year old asian woman? 

That's a rhetorical question. I know why. But it would still be very interesting to hear some responses, which is why I'm asking.


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## greenfern

Is she a lot hotter than you?

I think its the stereotype about the white guy going to asia, picking up a much younger girl who is way out of his league but because she wants to come to america/europe will date him.

When I see older/younger couples where there is a big 'sex rank' differential I would think more along the lines of this stereotype. If its two people of similar sex rank I wouldn't think that so much.

ETA I think the same when its an older woman/younger man - if they are similar "hotness" I don't make any kind of assumptions but if there is a big differential I'm like...what is the appeal. Not that there couldn't be an appeal but it just makes me wonder.


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## Dollystanford

Well here in the UK it's a bit of a stereotype. Older guy wants to find young pliant servile woman. What does he do? He gets a Thai bride. What's in it for her? Financial security and potentially a British passport

It may be unfair but there it is. Your circumstances may be different but people will look and immediately make a judgement about what you see in each other

ETA: Oh you are in London. So surely you are aware of this?


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## norajane

Because it screams of "desperate loser old man hooking up with young mail order bride looking for a sugar daddy."

Doesn't mean it's true in any sense, or that it's right to think that way, but that's the stereotype that comes to mind. 

The age gap would give me pause, because the idea of having something in common and "real" with a 23 year old boy (I'm 46) is laughable to me. And just as laughable when the genders are reversed.


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## that_girl

What does it matter? Your gf is 23 and may find issue with being with an older man in a few years. It does make a difference. I dated a man 13 years older than me (I was 28, he was 41) and within 3 years I noticed things that I knew would get worse. He was getting OLD and I was in my prime. Love or not, it was not going to work.

Not saying that will happen with you, but maybe the women just think that in a few years, after your gf has gotten some of your resources she'll be on to a younger man.

My uncle flipped his lid after his wife of 30 years cheated on him. Now he's 52 and living in the philippines with his 26 year old wife and they have a child.

I dunno. Kinda gross to me, because I think she's just using him for money (he has money in the USA which means he's SUPER RICH there). But it's not my circus, not my monkeys.

I don't care what you do with your life. I remember being 23....I was fickle and not even close to having a grown up relationship.


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## jerry123

One reason....they are jealous. 

I'm a guy, I seen this with a friend of mine. All his 30/40 something woman friends laughed and said he was an old dirty man. 

All his guy friends like me said "F$ck yeah!!!"

Hell, if I were single and hooked up with 23 yo I'd be in my glory. Would not care what people thought. 

She's not a child, she's a grown woman. 

Just be careful she's not looking for a quick marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion

that_girl said:


> What does it matter? Your gf is 23 and may find issue with being with an older man in a few years. It does make a difference. I dated a man 13 years older than me (I was 28, he was 41) and within 3 years I noticed things that I knew would get worse. He was getting OLD and I was in my prime. Love or not, it was not going to work.


I'm in the same age gap... Once they are in their thirties you might be better off.



that_girl said:


> Not saying that will happen with you, but maybe the women just think that in a few years, after your gf has gotten some of your resources she'll be on to a younger man.


It's a common occurrence. Younger gets with older, and doesn't take it as seriously as a relationship. Consuming resources and time and figure they deservie it. How the hell did we put youth on a pedastal?



that_girl said:


> My uncle flipped his lid after his wife of 30 years cheated on him. Now he's 52 and living in the philippines with his 26 year old wife and they have a child.


That's his business. I say once their past 30 anything goes, but anything over a 10 years age gap is pushing it. The average age differential is about 4 years.



that_girl said:


> I dunno. Kinda gross to me, because I think she's just using him for money (he has money in the USA which means he's SUPER RICH there). But it's not my circus, not my monkeys.


When you are super rich they usually are. Unless they have the same money. This is even if they are around your age.



that_girl said:


> I don't care what you do with your life. I remember being 23....I was fickle and not even close to having a grown up relationship.


Understood, the priorities at that age are not going to be consumerate with stability and long term relationship ideals.


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## treyvion

jerry123 said:


> One reason....they are jealous.
> 
> I'm a guy, I seen this with a friend of mine. All his 30/40 something woman friends laughed and said he was an old dirty man.
> 
> All his guy friends like me said "F$ck yeah!!!"
> 
> Hell, if I were single and hooked up with 23 yo I'd be in my glory. Would not care what people thought.
> 
> She's not a child, she's a grown woman.
> 
> Just be careful she's not looking for a quick marriage.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's a bad type of attention to get UNLESS the people all know you can pull down to that age level.


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## jerry123

treyvion said:


> It's a bad type of attention to get UNLESS the people all know you can pull down to that age level.


I forgot to ask him (thread starter). Are you a hot looking 41 yo? And I would assume you don't look 41. 

Remember, you are in your prime now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy

When I was out and about with my 27-years-younger gf, I'd get those sour looks too. Mostly from unattractive married women with reasonably attractive husbands. Perhaps they were worried he'd think he could do better, too! Anyway, it never bothered me, and provided a source of amusement.

I never chased much younger women. In the few instances where I dated someone much younger, they chose me. And I wouldn't have dated them if I had any concern about their maturity and integrity.


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## treyvion

jerry123 said:


> I forgot to ask him (thread starter). Are you a hot looking 41 yo? And I would assume you don't look 41.
> 
> Remember, you are in your prime now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes 41 is your prime unless you have let yourself go. If you have let yourself go, you have to take the time to put it back together.


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## greenfern

I am most definitely not an "unattractive middle aged woman" lol but tbh I am a bit jealous when I see a guy my age with a 20yr old and he is so proud of it, high fives to the guys. 

Jealous I guess because how can I compete with a 20 yr old no matter how hot I am now or how successful. You see it all the time with the guys on here, younger=hotter. But its my comeuppance I guess for all the power I theoretically wielded when I was myself a hot 20 yr old female.


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## always_alone

Not to mention that Thailand is very well known for its sex tourism trade and is chock-a-block with young women seeking wealth and security from comparatively wealthy foreigners.

And that in most of these instances, the relationships don't last very long.


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## jerry123

treyvion said:


> Yes 41 is your prime unless you have let yourself go. If you have let yourself go, you have to take the time to put it back together.


Yup, took me 2 years of dieting and lifting weights almost every day. Now I'm 46 but look and feel 36. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## always_alone

greenfern said:


> Jealous I guess because how can I compete with a 20 yr old no matter how hot I am now or how successful. You see it all the time with the guys on here, younger=hotter. But its my comeuppance I guess for all the power I theoretically wielded when I was myself a hot 20 yr old female.


<shrug> If having a pretty little thing hanging off his arm is all it takes to impress a guy, he's probably not worth that much himself anyway. And if all his friends are high-giving him? Well, they've got just as little to offer.


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## Anonymous07

People are going to think about the stereotypes, which is why you get dirty looks(looking for a trophy wife, etc.). 

The only issue I would see is that, technically, you are old enough to be her dad. That is where I have an issue and that comes from someone who is also in an age-gap relationship(my husband is 10 years older). I couldn't be with someone who could be old enough to be my parent because I find it too weird and at that point, I question if you could really have enough in common. 

With all that said though, if you are happy, then no one else's opinion should matter. My husband and I had quite a few dirty looks and people who said things to us about our relationship being "gross", but it didn't matter to us. We met in college and I was looking for a man who was husband material, not into partying, drinking, etc. I didn't want a fling and my husband was everything I was looking for. If it works, then it works. No matter who you are with, someone may not like it. You can't make everyone happy.


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## treyvion

jerry123 said:


> Yup, took me 2 years of dieting and lifting weights almost every day. Now I'm 46 but look and feel 36.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yessir!

I would have to say that mid 20's and up to 30 are a bad deal for a mid 40's because no matter if you are a stud, they will still look to you for some of that sugar daddy stuff.

Mid 30's and you will get a great deal for your age.

Congrats on the fitness. Now adjust your health and fitness so you are in better shape than most late twenties and 30 years olds.


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## greenfern

Also btw you probably don't get men taking you too seriously either - they are happy because they also want a young hottie but its not like they necessarily think its a love relationship either.

BUT - again if you are similar in looks I really think this makes all the difference. To anonymous who met her 10 yr older hubby in uni, I bet he was pretty good looking right? I hate even thinking this but its the differential in age combined with a differential in looks (and possibly success) that makes the situation seem unbalanced to me.


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## jb02157

I would be worried that she's only seeing you because of what she can get from you and not that she really wants a relationship.


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## jerry123

Isn't it funny how a 41 yo woman is a cougar if she dates at 20/23 yo guy. But a guy is a dirty old man doing that. 

It made me think of when I was 20 I hooked up with a hot 18 yo woman. She lived at home with her divorced mom.(41 yo)

Well this girl and I never really ended up having sex in the 3 weeks I knew her but the mom invited me to her house one night and told me to bring a bottle of wine. Her daughter and I were just friends at this point. The mom and I drank the bottle and proceeded to her bedroom. We had sex for about 30-40 minutes then she insisted I finish while giving me a BJ. I got the best bj of my life that night and she eagerly took every drop from me. 

Unfortunately it was the one and only time. 

Hope it wasn't TMI.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Appleby

Anonymous07 said:


> People are going to think about the stereotypes, which is why you get dirty looks(looking for a trophy wife, etc.).
> 
> The only issue I would see is that, technically, you are old enough to be her dad. That is where I have an issue and that comes from someone who is also in an age-gap relationship(my husband is 10 years older). I couldn't be with someone who could be old enough to be my parent because I find it too weird and at that point, I question if you could really have enough in common.
> 
> With all that said though, if you are happy, then no one else's opinion should matter. My husband and I had quite a few dirty looks and people who said things to us about our relationship being "gross", but it didn't matter to us. We met in college and I was looking for a man who was husband material, not into partying, drinking, etc. I didn't want a fling and my husband was everything I was looking for. If it works, then it works. No matter who you are with, someone may not like it. You can't make everyone happy.


The women at work also mentioned that. They talked at length about the importance of having stuff in common. That's probably why the age gap and the difference in culture bothers them so much. Funny thing is, I have more in common with my girlfriend than I do with those women, despite the age gap and the cultural difference. But I suppose if I became familiar with thai soap operas it could get even better. I find it ironic that they're so irked by me dating a woman who is very different to them, despite the fact that they have never shown any interest in me. Not that it has ever bothered me as I usually date younger women anyway, but still, it's ironic.


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## Appleby

jb02157 said:


> I would be worried that she's only seeing you because of what she can get from you and not that she really wants a relationship.


Why is that?


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## Appleby

jerry123 said:


> Isn't it funny how a 41 yo woman is a cougar if she dates at 20/23 yo guy. But a guy is a dirty old man doing that.
> 
> It made me think of when I was 20 I hooked up with a hot 18 yo woman. She lived at home with her divorced mom.(41 yo)
> 
> Well this girl and I never really ended up having sex in the 3 weeks I knew her but the mom invited me to her house one night and told me to bring a bottle of wine. Her daughter and I were just friends at this point. The mom and I drank the bottle and proceeded to her bedroom. We had sex for about 30-40 minutes then she insisted I finish while giving me a BJ. I got the best bj of my life that night and she eagerly took every drop from me.
> 
> Unfortunately it was the one and only time.
> 
> Hope it wasn't TMI.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


On the contrary. It was NEI.


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## jerry123

treyvion said:


> Yessir!
> 
> I would have to say that mid 20's and up to 30 are a bad deal for a mid 40's because no matter if you are a stud, they will still look to you for some of that sugar daddy stuff.
> 
> Mid 30's and you will get a great deal for your age.
> 
> Congrats on the fitness. Now adjust your health and fitness so you are in better shape than most late twenties and 30 years olds.



If I keep lifting more heavy weight I will look like "Arnold". 

One thing I noticed was all the fat in my face dissipated. I had a round plump face. Now with the weight gone it turned into sort of Don Draper looking. 

Sorry if I'm hijacking thread.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion

jerry123 said:


> If I keep lifting more heavy weight I will look like "Arnold".
> 
> One thing I noticed was all the fat in my face dissipated. I had a round plump face. Now with the weight gone it turned into sort of Don Draper looking.
> 
> Sorry if I'm hijacking thread.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I would say ideal size would be between a NBA point Guard and a NFL Defensive back. Bigger than that if they like "big guys", but this is the ideal size with broadest appeal.

Arnold big is not necessary and too big for most.


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## lifeistooshort

Some of it could be jealousy, but some of it is probably the perception of loser older guy that goes to Asia and buys what he thinks he's entitled to, which is young Asian with low standards that will kiss his arse. The same guy that rails against western women.

I'm 19 years younger than my hb so I've got no issue with age differences, though I do think 23 and 41 isn't going to work long term. Entirely different baggage between you two and she has barely lived her life. You guys aren't going to be partners, but if you're good with that then good for you.

Heck, my hb didn't go out of the country to find me and people still talked about us. It took some years to stop, and it helps that he's in good shape and i'm quite accomplished professionally so I don't need his money.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion

lifeistooshort said:


> Some of it could be jealousy, but some of it is probably the perception of loser older guy that goes to Asia and buys what he thinks he's entitled to, which is young Asian with low standards that will kiss his arse. The same guy that rails against western women.
> 
> I'm 19 years younger than my hb so I've got no issue with age differences, though I do think 23 and 41 isn't going to work long term. Entirely different baggage between you two and she has barely lived her life. You guys aren't going to be partners, but if you're good with that then good for you.


I agree 41 and 23 problem is due to her age. If it was 32 and 50 that would be different.



lifeistooshort said:


> Heck, my hb didn't go out of the country to find me and people still talked about us. It took some years to stop, and it helps that he's in good shape and i'm quite accomplished professionally so I don't need his money.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And I'm sure since you make your own you are happy to help both of your situation.


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## greenfern

jerry123 said:


> Isn't it funny how a 41 yo woman is a cougar if she dates at 20/23 yo guy. But a guy is a dirty old man doing that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't consider "cougar" a compliment either...


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## treyvion

lifeistooshort said:


> Some of it could be jealousy, but some of it is probably the perception of loser older guy that goes to Asia and buys what he thinks he's entitled to, which is young Asian with low standards that will kiss his arse. The same guy that rails against western women.


It's not a good kind of attention to recieve.



lifeistooshort said:


> I'm 19 years younger than my hb so I've got no issue with age differences, though I do think 23 and 41 isn't going to work long term. Entirely different baggage between you two and she has barely lived her life. You guys aren't going to be partners, but if you're good with that then good for you.


The cultural difference and the difference that you CHOSE HIM.



lifeistooshort said:


> Heck, my hb didn't go out of the country to find me and people still talked about us. It took some years to stop, and it helps that he's in good shape and i'm quite accomplished professionally so I don't need his money.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It could go on for the rest of your lives until everyone around is mature adults, the age gaps won't be that big of a deal.


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## jerry123

So if I were you, just have fun with it. If you are truly not thinking about marriage then just enjoy the 23 yo. 

She not 16/17, she's a grown woman. In her prime. 

I would do it and not care what people thought. I'd also be having crazy sex with her as much as possible. 

Damn, your self confidence must be through the roof.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

looks like a mail order bride on the outside.

I'd have fun with her but I don't think I'd be up for any type of marriage.With that said if I end up divorced I'd never get married again. see no reason for a man in today's world to EVER get married. The risk of losing 1/2 0f everything you ever worked for is to great for me.


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## Anonymous07

Appleby said:


> The women at work also mentioned that. They talked at length about the importance of having stuff in common. That's probably why the age gap and the difference in culture bothers them so much. Funny thing is, I have more in common with my girlfriend than I do with those women, despite the age gap and the cultural difference. But I suppose if I became familiar with thai soap operas it could get even better.


It is very important to have things in common(same values, life goals, etc.), otherwise the relationship probably won't last, age-gap or not. I'm sure part of what also looks weird to your co-workers is that you met out of country and now she's here(it does come off as odd). 

Different cultures is fine, as long as you can come to understand each other. My husband is Hispanic and I'm white, but we have many similarities(family oriented, etc.). It can make things a little more challenging though. The way my husband's family does things is different than mine and was something to get used to. I was also, technically, nineteen when I met my husband(a couple months before my birthday). My point of dating was to meet my future husband, not to mess around. We dated for a little over 3 years before getting married. 

There will always be "naysayers" who will say it's not going to work out and so on. You eventually learn, if you really want the relationship, to just ignore the comments.


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## treyvion

chillymorn said:


> looks like a mail order bride on the outside.
> 
> I'd have fun with her but I don't think I'd be up for any type of marriage.With that said if I end up divorced I'd never get married again. see no reason for a man in today's world to EVER get married. The risk of losing 1/2 0f everything you ever worked for is to great for me.


Enjoy dating her and I hope your not sexless on many on TAM. That should not be allowable. Don't worry about marrying her and hopefully you make a great and many memories.


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## Anonymous07

greenfern said:


> To anonymous who met her 10 yr older hubby in uni, I bet he was pretty good looking right? I hate even thinking this but its the differential in age combined with a differential in looks (and possibly success) that makes the situation seem unbalanced to me.


Not everything is about looks. Looks fade, but who a person is doesn't. 

Obviously I find my husband attractive(my Latin lover  ), but he is not going to be everyone's "cup of tea" and what makes me think he is the most attractive is not his looks, but who he is as a person/how he acts. He is a gentleman, respectful, caring, hardworking, kind, easy to talk to, fun to be around, etc. That is what makes him the most attractive.


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## jerry123

chillymorn said:


> I'd have fun with her but I don't think I'd be up for any type of marriage.With that said if I end up divorced I'd never get married again. see no reason for a man in today's world to EVER get married. The risk of losing 1/2 0f everything you ever worked for is to great for me.


Spot on...if I divorced...I...Would NEVER...get...married again!!!

I'd be a male wh0re.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anonymous07

Well with the attitude you(jerry123) and chillymorn show, no woman would want to marry you, so you're good. :rofl:


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## jerry123

Anonymous07 said:


> Well with the attitude you(jerry123) and chillymorn show, no woman would want to marry you, so you're good. :rofl:


Just saying what 99.9% of men would say but too afraid to. Damn PC world we live in. 

But yeah, that's how us men think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anonymous07

jerry123 said:


> Just saying what 99.9% of men would say but too afraid to. Damn PC world we live in.
> 
> But yeah, that's how us men think.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, it's just your opinion.

My husband is happily married and I know that from what he says candidly to his friends(who told me).


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## Appleby

lifeistooshort said:


> Some of it could be jealousy, but some of it is probably the perception of loser older guy that goes to Asia and buys what he thinks he's entitled to, which is young Asian with low standards that will kiss his arse. The same guy that rails against western women.
> 
> I'm 19 years younger than my hb so I've got no issue with age differences, though I do think 23 and 41 isn't going to work long term. Entirely different baggage between you two and she has barely lived her life. You guys aren't going to be partners, but if you're good with that then good for you.
> 
> Heck, my hb didn't go out of the country to find me and people still talked about us. It took some years to stop, and it helps that he's in good shape and i'm quite accomplished professionally so I don't need his money.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Agreed. It most probably is jealousy. I mean, I'm not rich by any means, but I'm doing pretty well, so why would it bother them to see a reasonably successful guy, not bad looking, with reasonable standards, meeting someone who has what he's looking for? And it's not like she doesn't have reasonable standards either. I don't mean that she's one of those overly picky women who feel entitled to the very best, but she knows what she wants, and she's very happy with me. 

I could understand them being jealous if she was comparable to them, but she's from a different culture altogether, so really, there's no comparison. In 23 years she's accustomed to dealing with more responsibilities than most women of the same age (or even older) over here, so it's very different. Maybe that's one of the reasons why we understand each other, and with me being older it balances out. It may not work out, as you say, but I'm hoping that the low divorce rate between british men and thai women is a good omen. 

I'm not sure how they would have reacted if I had found a woman here. Perhaps they would have felt less threatened somehow. And even though she earns a bit more than they do, that's still no reason to be jealous.


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## jerry123

Anonymous07 said:


> No, it's just your opinion.
> 
> My husband is happily married and I know that from what he says candidly to his friends(who told me).


Oh I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm happy you two are in a great marriage. 

I was giving my opinion as if I were in thread posters shoes. And if I were single and 41 having a 23 yo GF.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Appleby

chillymorn said:


> looks like a mail order bride on the outside.
> 
> I'd have fun with her but I don't think I'd be up for any type of marriage.With that said if I end up divorced I'd never get married again. see no reason for a man in today's world to EVER get married. The risk of losing 1/2 0f everything you ever worked for is to great for me.


What is a mail order bride?


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## EleGirl

Appleby said:


> Agreed. It most probably is jealousy.


This is the usual thing people say to make themselves feel better or superior. Why would they be jealous? You say that some women walking down the street give you funny looks. What? You think they are jealous and want to be with you? You have said that the women you work with have shown no interest in you, and now they are jealous?

Your relationship with his girl is a curiosity to many. That’s why the women at work at talking to you about it.



Appleby said:


> I mean, I'm not rich by any means, but I'm doing pretty well, so why would it bother them to see a reasonably successful guy, not bad looking, with reasonable standards, meeting someone who has what he's looking for? And it's not like she doesn't have reasonable standards either. I don't mean that she's one of those overly picky women who feel entitled to the very best, but she knows what she wants, and she's very happy with me.


It’s good that you found somone you like. If you were my friend I’d be concerned for you because most 23 year olds are pretty flakey. My children are 25 & 27 so we just finished going through the early 20’s with them and their friends. Not one of them are with the person that they thought was the love of their life just 3 years ago. They have all changed and matured so much that they are just not like they were not too long ago.
Of course none of us have crystal balls so we don’t know how this is going to turn out. She could be the love of your life, or just someone to have fun with for a while. Only time will tell.


Appleby said:


> I could understand them being jealous if she was comparable to them, but she's from a different culture altogether, so really, there's no comparison.


Again I highly doubt that the women you work with are jealous. They are curious.


Appleby said:


> In 23 years she's accustomed to dealing with more responsibilities than most women of the same age (or even older) over here, so it's very different. Maybe that's one of the reasons why we understand each other, and with me being older it balances out. It may not work out, as you say, but I'm hoping that the low divorce rate between british men and thai women is a good omen.


Only time will tell. But if you are going to have a long term relationship with you will need to learn to not let this bother you.


Appleby said:


> I'm not sure how they would have reacted if I had found a woman here. Perhaps they would have felt less threatened somehow. And even though she earns a bit more than they do, that's still no reason to be jealous.


There you go again. They are not threatened. Why would women who are not even interested in a relationship with you be threatened by you having this relationship? I think that you have a distorted view of women. A woman who is not interested in you is not jealous or threatened by the woman you are dating.

I think that the issue is the stereo type of a European and American men going to places like Thailand and getting young brides who are looking for a sugar daddy. While that might not be what went on in your case, it might be what people perceive. You have an opportunity to enlighten people. Why not take that opportunity.


----------



## EleGirl

Appleby said:


> What is a mail order bride?


You have never heard of mail order brides?

Do a google search for "mail order bride". Many sites will pop up that have catalogues of women from different countries who they arrange for any guy to marry. These are mostly women who are looking to get out of deep poverty or other bad situations around the world.

If you do a lot of reading on the topic you can find a lot of true stories of guy who were ripped off and used. I don't have any idea of statistics of what % of the marriages work out. But I think it's iffy.

Mail-order bride - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


----------



## Appleby

EleGirl said:


> This is the usual thing people say to make themselves feel better or superior. Why would they be jealous? You say that some women walking down the street give you funny looks. What? You think they are jealous and want to be with you? You have said that the women you work with have shown no interest in you, and now they are jealous?
> 
> Your relationship with his girl is a curiosity to many. That’s why the women at work at talking to you about it.
> 
> 
> It’s good that you found somone you like. If you were my friend I’d be concerned for you because most 23 year olds are pretty flakey. My children are 25 & 27 so we just finished going through the early 20’s with them and their friends. Not one of them are with the person that they thought was the love of their life just 3 years ago. They have all changed and matured so much that they are just not like they were not too long ago.
> Of course none of us have crystal balls so we don’t know how this is going to turn out. She could be the love of your life, or just someone to have fun with for a while. Only time will tell.
> 
> Again I highly doubt that the women you work with are jealous. They are curious.
> 
> Only time will tell. But if you are going to have a long term relationship with you will need to learn to not let this bother you.
> 
> There you go again. They are not threatened. Why would women who are not even interested in a relationship with you be threatened by you having this relationship? I think that you have a distorted view of women. A woman who is not interested in you is not jealous or threatened by the woman you are dating.
> 
> I think that the issue is the stereo type of a European and American men going to places like Thailand and getting young brides who are looking for a sugar daddy. While that might not be what went on in your case, it might be what people perceive. You have an opportunity to enlighten people. Why not take that opportunity.


Yes I think you're right. Although I'm no more their type than they are mine, they are definitely very curious. Perhaps they're just concerned that she might be a gold digger or she wants to get into the country. I assured them that she already had a british passport when I met her, and that she has a job, but they were still very thorough with their questions nonetheless, so I guess they're more concerned and more curious than I had originally assumed. 

I guess it must be intriguing for them to know what thai women are like, and why one of their own would choose a thai woman rather than one that he's more familiar with and knows well, knows how they think, etc. Maybe it's just the natural curiosity of wondering what other people are like, and how they differ. They did ask a lot about her life and what it's like, and I told them that she's a hard worker, mature, knows what she wants, takes life seriously, and sticks to things and sees them through. I like those qualities, and I'm optimistic that it's going to work out. The divorce rate here is around 50%, whereas the divorce rate between british and asian women is, as far as I understand, way lower. So it should be fine. 

Now that I think about it, I suppose she is very different to them. There is definitely a big difference between her and women over here, even those who are the same age as her. And when I compare her to the women that I've dated here I see it too. Don't worry, none of this bothers me. On the contrary, it's entertaining answering their questions, and very enlightening. Understanding the differences between women in different parts of the world is quite good fun.


----------



## Dollystanford

'One of their own?'


----------



## Appleby

Dollystanford said:


> 'One of their own?'


Meaning that they're curious as to why someone of their own culture (ie british) would want to go outside of it.


----------



## Jellybeans

You already know why. You said it yourself. 

I find it odd you say women give you "weird looks" when you wakl down the street with your girlfriend. I find it strange because generally women are not as obvious as men when they check someone out or show disdain that way in pubic... 

With that said, re: your colleagues - stop discussing your personal life with them. You don't owe them any details of your life unless it is affecting your work in a negative way.


----------



## Jellybeans

Appleby said:


> *I guess* it must be intriguing for them to know what thai women are like, and why one of their own would choose a thai woman rather than one that he's more familiar with and knows well, knows how they think, etc. Maybe it's just the natural curiosity of wondering what other people are like, and how they differ.


You may just be projecting what you THINK they are thinking onto them.

"One of their own" implies they may be racist or bigoted when they may or may not be the case at all.

I'm not a Brit but I am a woman. I think these women probably wonder what you guys have in common/talk about with the age difference.

Also, one (male or female) would probably wonder if the young woman was using you for a passport/money/citizenship due to the circumstances you met it (without knowing the full story). It's just a life story that happens quite a bit.

With that said, if you aren't into giving these details to your colleagues, don't. It's pretty simple.


----------



## Jellybeans

Appleby said:


> The women at work also mentioned that. They talked at length about the importance of having stuff in common.


Would you disagree? Because generally it's a good thing to have things in common with someone you're in a relationship with.




Appleby said:


> That's probably why the age gap and the difference in culture bothers them so much.


Why do you assume it "bothers" them? 



Appleby said:


> I find it ironic that they're so irked by me dating a woman who is very different to them, despite the fact that they have never shown any interest in me. Not that it has ever bothered me as I usually date younger women anyway, but still, it's ironic.


And it could very well be that they are still not interested in you. 

Just saying. 

Why do yo assume they have to be interested in you because they asked you about it?


----------



## Appleby

Jellybeans said:


> You already know why. You said it yourself.
> 
> I find it odd you say women give you "weird looks" when you wakl down the street with your girlfriend. I find it strange because generally women are not as obvious as men when they check someone out or show disdain that way in pubic...
> 
> With that said, re: your colleagues - stop discussing your personal life with them. You don't owe them any details of your life unless it is affecting your work in a negative way.


They do, and they barely hide it. They look at me, then they look at her, they see how short she is, they figure that she's considerbly younger than me, they obviously see that she's from another culture, and they just stare. It's really obvious. 

I don't mind chatting about her with the women at work, I really don't. It's no big deal. All I'm saying is that their curiosity is very extensive. And no matter how clearly I explain that she's got a british passport and that she already had a job when I met her and she still works, they have a strange look on their faces that says "hmmm, there's got to be something else going on here". It's actually quite odd how interested they are in knowing about her, and about us. It's like they're trying to find an angle to justify their disapproval. 

Maybe they think it's wrong for a white guy to date a woman who is from another culture, or 18 years younger, or both. Maybe it makes them wonder if they themselves are undesireable. It might be they're not actually concerned at all, it could be that they feel threatened, which is strange considering that I'm not interested in them any more than they are in me. Who knows.


----------



## Appleby

Jellybeans said:


> Why do yo assume they have to be interested in you because they asked you about it?


I don't. At all. I know for a fact that none of them are interested in me. It's clear that they just like asking, it's natural curiosity. I understand that. But when that curiosity spills over into trying to find an angle to disapprove, it makes me wonder if the real reason for their questions says something about them. I'm just saying.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Who cares really? So they're curious and judgmental. That's their problem,not yours.


----------



## Dollystanford

Appleby said:


> Meaning that they're curious as to why someone of their own culture (ie british) would want to go outside of it.


I thought you lived in London, not rural Yorkshire. Who would bat an eyelid?


----------



## Jellybeans

Appleby said:


> Maybe they think it's wrong for a white guy to date a woman who is from another culture, or 18 years younger, or both.


The implication here, again, is that they are racist or bigoted. Is that really true? Or are you projecting that onto them? 

With that said: 



ScarletBegonias said:


> Who cares really? So they're curious and judgmental. That's their problem,not yours.


Exactly.

I personally would call them out on their rudeness and all their questioning. I find that that is completely irrelevant to your work so I would tell probably say something smart and tell them that you aren't interested in playing 20 questions. Or you could turn it back on them and start asking them the same questions over and over again.


----------



## Appleby

Jellybeans said:


> The implication here, again, is that they are racist or bigoted. Is that really true? Or are you projecting that onto them?
> 
> With that said:
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly.
> 
> I personally would call them out on their rudeness and all their questioning. I find that that is completely irrelevant to your work so I would tell probably say something smart and tell them that you aren't interested in playing 20 questions. Or you could turn it back on them and start asking them the same questions over and over again.


Based on the things that they have said, yes they are racist and bigoted. Here are some examples : 

When I first mentioned that she's from Thailand, one of them said be careful, she's probably after your money. When I asked why would she be after my money, she said that there are a lot of poor asian women who do that. Later on, after I had mentioned that she earns roughly the same if not slightly more than we do, the very same woman said the same thing again. 

Another one asked me if I was concerned about her being so dark, and what would people think. I pointed out that her complexion is actually quite light. Then she said ok but what about her features? I said what about them? She said doesn't it bother you that people will talk? I said no. You are "talking" right now, and it doesn't bother me at all. Later on in the conversation she brought up the subject all over again. 

The one that first asked me about her asked if she's subservient. When I asked her why she's asking that, she said you know, her being thai and everything. I said no, she's not. But then later on another occasion she stated that maybe I should go for a woman who isn't subservient. 

And another asked me if the language barrier between us concerns me. When I told her that she speaks good english and that many people in other countries speak english, she said yeah but what about her accent. And by the end of that particular conversation, another one asked me the exact same thing, despite having been right next to me when I answered the first woman. 

In all cases, they made an assumption, and not only that, they insisted that their assumption was correct even after being corrected. 

The questions were asked during our lunch break, so work doesn't come into it at all, and like I say it doesn't bother me. But as you can see, they seem very bothered when someone who is in their culture goes elsewhere. So ye, they're racist because they assume that they belong to a superior culture, but more telling is the fact that they feel threatened by the fact of a guy in their culture choosing someone outside of it.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Your coworkers sound like ignorant cows and by not shutting them down you're just catering to it.


----------



## Jellybeans

I don't get why you waste so much time worrying about what others think and why you haven't put an end to it.


----------



## TiggyBlue

To be honest considering London is so multicultural I'm surprised they're so ignorant.


----------



## Appleby

TiggyBlue said:


> To be honest considering London is so multicultural I'm surprised they're so ignorant.


That's what I'm thinking. Although they are definitely being bigoted, I think the most likely explanation is that they personally have a problem with me being with her. That's why I keep emphasising that they are not interested in me. Why would a bunch of women who are not interested in me be so judgmental about me being with a woman who they don't even know? Would they be that way about a white woman in our own culture? I doubt they would. 

And like I pointed out just a while back, even after I explain things to them and correct their assumptions, they can't stop themselves from bringing it all up again. It's so obvious that they feel threatened. Not so much by my girlfriend, since they haven't even met her (although I'm sure they would if they did), but more by me. It's quite funny how a guy who they're not interested in can make them feel so insecure just by dating a woman who is so different to them.


----------



## treyvion

jb02157 said:


> I would be worried that she's only seeing you because of what she can get from you and not that she really wants a relationship.


It's not always cash money. It might be because this is a man who will tend to take care of her in other ways due to the age gap. It could or could not be a bad thing.

Normally they don't take it too serious and look closer to their age range for the real thing.

Your supposed to have a lot of fun on your dates, and you better not be a TAM-like sexless.


----------



## treyvion

Jellybeans said:


> The implication here, again, is that they are racist or bigoted. Is that really true? Or are you projecting that onto them?
> 
> With that said:
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly.
> 
> I personally would call them out on their rudeness and all their questioning. I find that that is completely irrelevant to your work so I would tell probably say something smart and tell them that you aren't interested in playing 20 questions. Or you could turn it back on them and start asking them the same questions over and over again.


I have a newsflash... What if you just said NOTHING to the co-workers/family members? You had your girlfriend and you kept it to yourself?

Would the quality of your life be degraded so much, or would it actually be better due to not having to defend yourself?


----------



## Jellybeans

I agree, Trey.


----------



## greenfern

What kind of company do you work in - are there any people of other cultures? I agree it sounds incredibly racist the conversation. I can not IMAGINE talking about or hearing any of my co-workers talk about the colour of somebodys' skin or their facial features, seriously? 

After overhearing your conversation it sounds less about jealousy/concern about the age gap than out and out racism.

The "looks on the street" unless you are in an all-white town are more likely to be the standard assumption of a mail order bride. And come on - you have never heard that term, seriously?


----------



## Appleby

greenfern said:


> What kind of company do you work in - are there any people of other cultures? I agree it sounds incredibly racist the conversation. I can not IMAGINE talking about or hearing any of my co-workers talk about the colour of somebodys' skin or their facial features, seriously?
> 
> After overhearing your conversation it sounds less about jealousy/concern about the age gap than out and out racism.
> 
> The "looks on the street" unless you are in an all-white town are more likely to be the standard assumption of a mail order bride. And come on - you have never heard that term, seriously?


There are a few people of other cultures. What I said earlier about the comments and questions to do with her being from Thailand, that was to illustrate that they are being racist. I was responding to someone who didn't believe it. 

But that's just part of it. Most of their comments and their questions are to do with the age gap, and the idea that I was looking for a woman to be subservient to me. Also, they have said many times that we don't have anything in common. The point I'm trying to make here is that she's very different to them, which is why they are so uncomfortable with me dating her. 

She's from a different culture to them, she's much younger than them, she's had a very different upbringing to them, her values are very different to theirs, she's basically the total opposite to them. 

Yes they are being racist in the conversations, but I doubt that that's really the issue for them. I just think they feel threatened and insecure that they are somehow inferior, and that that's why I chose her. I think they're disappointed that I have never shown an interest in them, not because they want me (they don't), but because they like to think that they are what a woman ought to be, and that anyone outside of that must somehow have something wrong with them. 

At first I just thought it was nothing more than curiosity, just women talking about relationships and such, but now it's really obvious that they're insecure. I mean, they've shown interest in other people's affairs in the past, which I have overheard, and it has been nothing like the conversations that they have with me about this girl. Whereas with other people it's basically just general stuff, with me it goes a lot deeper. It's like they want to know everything. And all because this woman that I'm seeing is the polar opposite of them.


----------



## treyvion

Jellybeans said:


> I agree, Trey.


Plus it's a "cool" way to be to not make it a big deal.


----------



## treyvion

Appleby said:


> There are a few people of other cultures. What I said earlier about the comments and questions to do with her being from Thailand, that was to illustrate that they are being racist. I was responding to someone who didn't believe it.
> 
> But that's just part of it. Most of their comments and their questions are to do with the age gap, and the idea that I was looking for a woman to be subservient to me. Also, they have said many times that we don't have anything in common. The point I'm trying to make here is that she's very different to them, which is why they are so uncomfortable with me dating her.


Why do you care and why do you want them to know? I'd start a new pleasant conversation ( convo ) with the co-workers and deflect or minimize convo's about the new GF.



Appleby said:


> She's from a different culture to them, she's much younger than them, she's had a very different upbringing to them, her values are very different to theirs, she's basically the total opposite to them.
> 
> Yes they are being racist in the conversations, but I doubt that that's really the issue for them. I just think they feel threatened and insecure that they are somehow inferior, and that that's why I chose her. I think they're disappointed that I have never shown an interest in them, not because they want me (they don't), but because they like to think that they are what a woman ought to be, and that anyone outside of that must somehow have something wrong with them.


"Older" women in our culture are not too happy about a male their age going much younger. 

#1 In many of their eyes it invalidates them. 
#2 The other way to look at it, is you are a sucker getting used for his money. 
#3 And another is that you are taking advantage of the younger. 

If I had to bask in a viewpoint it would be #1. If you want the best ride and best boost to your life, I wouldn't talk about it and act like it's normal.



Appleby said:


> At first I just thought it was nothing more than curiosity, just women talking about relationships and such, but now it's really obvious that they're insecure. I mean, they've shown interest in other people's affairs in the past, which I have overheard, and it has been nothing like the conversations that they have with me about this girl. Whereas with other people it's basically just general stuff, with me it goes a lot deeper. It's like they want to know everything. And all because this woman that I'm seeing is the polar opposite of them.


Huge age difference between someone you bring around as peers is always a huge hurdle. But you have to understand, they don't need to be best friends, nor do you need to bring her around often.


----------



## jaffacake

seriously mate, why do you want to know what these women think of your relationship with your young GF?
do you really care about their opinions? 
There will always be racism / ignorant people, doesn't matter where you are, and based on your previous post, I think they just want some materials to gossip about.
so what, do you give a monkey's?
If I were you, and face their "interrogations" again, I would give them some cunning / smug , or even arrogant answers. 
just to piss them off.


----------



## norajane

Appleby said:


> It's quite funny how a guy who they're not interested in can make them feel so insecure just by dating a woman who is so different to them.


Well, if you've got your co-workers all figured out, and you think it's quite funny, then why have you come to TAM just to start a thread about this?

It's obviously bothering you and is some kind of issue for you, or you wouldn't have created an account to post about this.

You came to a marriage site to talk about your new, young Thai girlfriend. So what is really bothering you?


----------



## Appleby

norajane said:


> Well, if you've got your co-workers all figured out, and you think it's quite funny, then why have you come to TAM just to start a thread about this?
> 
> It's obviously bothering you and is some kind of issue for you, or you wouldn't have created an account to post about this.
> 
> You came to a marriage site to talk about your new, young Thai girlfriend. So what is really bothering you?


It doesn't bother me, it amuses me.


----------



## that_girl

It sounds like you are double guessing this relationship. If you were happy, you wouldn't give a rat's as$ about what people thought.

When my husband and I separated, it was clear to he and I that our lives would be separate. We could date. And I did. I dated a marvelous woman and in public with her I never once thought "omg what are they thinking, why are they staring (people stared when we held hands...so stupid), I wonder if people think I'm some **** or something!"

No. I thought, I'm with one of the most amazing people I've ever met and if people want to stare and whisper when we walk by, then that's their problem. WHO CARES. I was happy.

Are you happy?


----------



## Appleby

that_girl said:


> It sounds like you are double guessing this relationship. If you were happy, you wouldn't give a rat's as$ about what people thought.
> 
> When my husband and I separated, it was clear to he and I that our lives would be separate. We could date. And I did. I dated a marvelous woman and in public with her I never once thought "omg what are they thinking, why are they staring (people stared when we held hands...so stupid), I wonder if people think I'm some **** or something!"
> 
> No. I thought, I'm with one of the most amazing people I've ever met and if people want to stare and whisper when we walk by, then that's their problem. WHO CARES. I was happy.
> 
> Are you happy?


Wait a minute. You don't understand. Every day these women at work bend my ear to ask me questions. They seek me out like a missile as soon as it's lunchtime. It's like they can't go for 5 minutes without asking something. If anyone is unhappy, it's them, with their insecurities. How could I possibly be unhappy when I've got a girl 18 years younger than me, petite, tight, cute as a button, and the best sex I've ever had? Come on now. 

Like I say I don't mind the questions, even less so now that I know why they ask them, but let's face it, anyone who bends someone's ear about a woman they've never even met has obviously got some insecurities.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Appleby said:


> Wait a minute. You don't understand. Every day these women at work bend my ear to ask me questions. They seek me out like a missile as soon as it's lunchtime. It's like they can't go for 5 minutes without asking something. If anyone is unhappy, it's them, with their insecurities. How could I possibly be unhappy when I've got a girl 18 years younger than me, petite, tight, cute as a button, and the best sex I've ever had? Come on now.
> 
> Like I say I don't mind the questions, even less so now that I know why they ask them, but let's face it, anyone who bends someone's ear about a woman they've never even met has obviously got some insecurities.


Why are you here?


----------



## that_girl

Yea, why are you here?

If you don't like the questions, tell them to STFU. People at work (she and I worked together) were all about the questions. Oooh scandal. We were professional but they were ridiculous. I set boundaries and they stopped.

Just stop.


----------



## Appleby

that_girl said:


> Yea, why are you here?
> 
> If you don't like the questions, tell them to STFU. People at work (she and I worked together) were all about the questions. Oooh scandal. We were professional but they were ridiculous. I set boundaries and they stopped.
> 
> Just stop.


As I mentioned earlier, the questions don't bother me. Nothing about this bothers me. Don't assume that because I'm talking about it that it bothers me. People start threads all the time about all kinds of things and it doesn't necessarily mean it's a problem. The reason why I started this thread was to get various people's takes on this thing. That's all. Not all threads are about major problems or things that bother us. 

It's like you said before. Why be so preoccupied with what other people do with their personal lives. Obviously the women where I work can't help themselves, and that raises questions as to their own happiness.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Do you have some sort of relationship issue that you need advice about? Do you have a marital problem to discuss? 

What was your motivation for creating an account on Talkaboutmarriage and posting in the ladies lounge specifically? To discuss your coworkers hating on your girlfriend?


----------



## Almostrecovered

I have a question, does she make a good Khao na pet?


----------



## Anonymous07

that_girl said:


> It sounds like you are double guessing this relationship. If you were happy, you wouldn't give a rat's as$ about what people thought.
> 
> When my husband and I separated, it was clear to he and I that our lives would be separate. We could date. And I did. I dated a marvelous woman and in public with her I never once thought "omg what are they thinking, why are they staring (people stared when we held hands...so stupid), I wonder if people think I'm some **** or something!"
> 
> No. I thought, I'm with one of the most amazing people I've ever met and if people want to stare and whisper when we walk by, then that's their problem. WHO CARES. I was happy.
> 
> Are you happy?


:iagree:

If you truly felt happy and secure in this new relationship, you wouldn't be here, so no one believes you when you say you are only amused by it all. 

If you don't want to tell the co-workers about your relationship, don't. Simple as that. Make some boundaries and keep to them. 

It sounds like you are insecure in this relationship, which is fine, but I don't get why you lie about it.


----------



## norajane

The real question is why you haven't shut down these lines of questioning. Why continue to entertain their questions instead of telling them you won't tolerate any more bigoted, rude personal questions?

No, instead, you come to TAM and broadcast their bigoted, rude and personal questions even wider.

Your gf should be pissed that you like this kind of attention so much.


----------



## that_girl

Yea...if I was with someone and other people were making racist comments about them, I'd shut that crap down really quickly.


----------



## that_girl

Or maybe you just like the attention because you never got these women's attention before and now they are all talking to you about your new gf who is "better" than them (in your head) and in a way, you really "showed those betches" who never really gave you the time of day.

WHEW! Long, run-on sentence. lol.


----------



## Anonymous07

that_girl said:


> Yea...if I was with someone and other people were making racist comments about them, I'd shut that crap down really quickly.


My husband is Hispanic and one person said a racist remark about him, and I called her on it. I would never tolerate such comments, especially about a man I am with. It's not okay.


----------



## that_girl

Yea, my husband is Salvadoran and years younger than me (he was 24 and I was 31 when we met). Someone made a comment years ago about me "getting with the cabana boy and liking some Mexican sausage" (RUDE!) and I really let them have it.

But I think she was just jealous because her husband was in his 50s (we were in our early 30s) . Whatever. Keep your rude comments to yourself.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

Honestly .. if it was ME.. and I KNEW you personally.. it wouldn't be that I wouldn't take it seriously .. but I WOULD be concerned about such a relationship actually lasting.. if you just want a fling.. I can see it.. something "serious"- as in your heading.. on a lessor scale.... 

My dad is 18 yrs older than me.. I can't speak for other women, but I am one of those who think to myself.. "Why in the world would a young woman want an older man?"...it's just NEVER been an attraction for me ...... and I know from personal experience - even my H being 3 yrs older than myself, when I hit my Prime, he seemed like an Old Man, I was wishing he was 20 yrs younger ..... when she hits hers, you'll be ready to retire..

But I tend to look at life and love through LONG LASTING "till death do us part" terms.. not just for a season.. so keep this in mind with my post....

IN reality.. RIGHT NOW...(sexually speaking anyway)... you and her are perfect for each other...

No judgement.. it's just that we tend to look at things from our own personal lens of how we would feel.. so there it goes.


----------



## Appleby

that_girl said:


> Or maybe you just like the attention because you never got these women's attention before and now they are all talking to you about your new gf who is "better" than them (in your head) and in a way, you really "showed those betches" who never really gave you the time of day.
> 
> WHEW! Long, run-on sentence. lol.


No, I'm not interested in them. I never have been. They're in their late 30s and 40s, why would I be interested in them? It makes no sense. They're too old. A woman of 23 years old is a much better option for a man than a woman who is past her peak. 

I'm not sure how you figure that it's me seeking the attention, when every lunchtime it's them calling me over to talk about this woman that intrigues them so much. "Why a younger woman?" "What do you two talk about?" "Wouldn't you be better with a woman your age?" "Don't you like english women?" "What's wrong with the women over here?" They've even started flirting with me, so go figure.


----------



## Almostrecovered

Appleby said:


> NThey're in their late 30s and 40s, why would I be interested in them? It makes no sense. They're too old. A woman of 23 years old is a much better option for a man than a woman who is past her peak.


----------



## treyvion

Appleby said:


> As I mentioned earlier, the questions don't bother me. Nothing about this bothers me. Don't assume that because I'm talking about it that it bothers me. People start threads all the time about all kinds of things and it doesn't necessarily mean it's a problem. The reason why I started this thread was to get various people's takes on this thing. That's all. Not all threads are about major problems or things that bother us.
> 
> It's like you said before. Why be so preoccupied with what other people do with their personal lives. Obviously the women where I work can't help themselves, and that raises questions as to their own happiness.


Were you previously a cheated on and sexless marriage and got out of it and got the new GF?

Cause most of us would wonder why such a success story would be on TAM.


----------



## TiggyBlue

Appleby said:


> I'm not sure how you figure that it's me seeking the attention, when every lunchtime it's them calling me over to talk about this woman that intrigues them so much. "Why a younger woman?" "What do you two talk about?" "Wouldn't you be better with a woman your age?" "Don't you like english women?" "What's wrong with the women over here?" They've even started flirting with me, so go figure.


Is that the type of questions they ask?


----------



## that_girl

WOW. lmao. You don't know anything about women and and their peak.


----------



## Hope1964

Appleby said:


> They're in their late 30s and 40s, why would I be interested in them? It makes no sense. They're too old. A woman of 23 years old is a much better option for a man than a woman who is past her peak.


So women the same age as you are past their peak, and too old?? Man, you sure haven't learned very much about women during your short life, have you? My guess is that the women you work with can tell that all you want to do is brag and are eagerly waiting for your foot to end up in your mouth.


----------



## that_girl

I don't think you'd know what to do with a woman your age  Sexually or emotionally. And that's ok. Water seeks its own level in many ways.

I wish you the best.


----------



## treyvion

that_girl said:


> WOW. lmao. You don't know anything about women and and their peak.


I think he was being facetious.


----------



## that_girl

Was he? I don't think so.


----------



## treyvion

that_girl said:


> Was he? I don't think so.


He was slapping the TAM ladies in the face, think that was the intention with the age thing.


----------



## SadSamIAm

He posted in the Ladies Lounge to see if he could get the ladies riled up about his relationship with the 23 year old. 

He wasn't getting the responses he wanted, so he threw in the 'why would I want a 30 or 40 year old woman?' comment to try to get you riled up. 

He is succeeding with some of you.

My guess is that he uses her for sex for a while and eventually she leaves him for a 30ish guy.


----------



## that_girl

LOL OH!! Well, that's funny. I just felt sorry for him.


I love being 38. I love getting older. So many things I wasn't when I was younger.

Sex is better too.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

You couldn't pay me to go back to my twenties lol 

I was so depressed about turning 30 but once it happened a couple days later I was all "this sh*t is amazing." 

Staring at my 32nd in another few months and I'm feeling great


----------



## ReformedHubby

I have a friend that grew tired of the typical American gal. Initially he went with a Russian bride. People didn't react all that strongly to that but it ended up not working out anyway. She met up with other Russians here and became independent fairly quickly. She broke his heart, but he was able to rebound.

He is a National Geographic photographer and he was given an assignment to photograph a group of indigenous people. As luck would have it the Chief took a liking to him and offered one of his daughters. She came back with him to America. If you think the looks and comments you get are bad there are nothing compared to what he has experienced.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

ReformedHubby said:


> I have a friend that grew tired of the typical American gal.


What is the "typical American gal" ?


----------



## that_girl

lol Probably like the stereotype of the typical American man...which isn't a pretty picture.

I don't care who people are attracted to. I don't seek out blonds or men who like sports. White guys in general don't get a second look from me.


----------



## that_girl

I think maybe the OP just wanted to brag about his girlfriend...which is cool...but just brag about her and don't come in with some silly story.

I went for a younger man because I didn't want an old guy. I get it.

I always bragged about my girl. I get that too.

But to come in and try to just get people riled up. lol, LAME.


----------



## treyvion

ReformedHubby said:


> I have a friend that grew tired of the typical American gal. Initially he went with a Russian bride. People didn't react all that strongly to that but it ended up not working out anyway. She met up with other Russians here and became independent fairly quickly. She broke his heart, but he was able to rebound.


Hey man, I don't know what planet your on, but the "Russian Bride" thing has gotten such bad press and is such a dangerous propostion, I'd prefer to walk through some of the more dangerous neighborhoods in America instead.



ReformedHubby said:


> He is a National Geographic photographer and he was given an assignment to photograph a group of indigenous people. As luck would have it the Chief took a liking to him and offered one of his daughters. She came back with him to America. If you think the looks and comments you get are bad there are nothing compared to what he has experienced.


What country was this wife offered from?


----------



## Almostrecovered

ScarletBegonias said:


> What is the "typical American gal" ?


----------



## that_girl

:rofl: AR, you jerk :rofl:

And yea, Russian brides just use it to get over to America, then Adios! Or however you say goodbye in Russian.

I didn't see the part where he said his friend was OFFERED a wife. lmao. Dear god. Like cattle.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Almostrecovered said:


>


awesome.


----------



## ReformedHubby

ScarletBegonias said:


> What is the "typical American gal" ?


SB, my entire post was how should I say it... Generously embellished.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

ReformedHubby said:


> SB, my entire post was how should I say it... Generously embellished.


 I wasn't thinking you'd personally say something like that unless you were repeating what the guy hinted at or said


----------



## Jellybeans

Appleby said:


> Wait a minute. You don't understand. Every day these women at work bend my ear to ask me questions. They seek me out like a missile as soon as it's lunchtime. It's like they can't go for 5 minutes without asking something.


And you still engage them. You still tolerate it. Then you complain about it. It seems to be you kind of enjoy it being that you have not put a stop to it.



Appleby said:


> If anyone is unhappy, it's them, with their insecurities. How could I possibly be unhappy when I've got a girl 18 years younger than me, petite, tight, cute as a button, and the best sex I've ever had? Come on now.


Oh, so you are using her to validate yourself? Newsflash: just because someone is younger, petite, tight o older, saggier, etc) doesn't mean a relationship is automatically better. It's all in how you relate to the person, not their outwardly things or age.



that_girl said:


> If you don't like the questions, *tell them to STFU*.


Ding ding ding. We have a winner.



ScarletBegonias said:


> What was your motivation for creating an account on Talkaboutmarriage and posting in *the ladies lounge *specifically? To discuss your coworkers hating on your girlfriend?


Good eye, Scarlet.



Appleby said:


> *No, I'm not interested in them. I never have been. They're in their late 30s and 40s, why would I be interested in them? It makes no sense. They're too old. *A woman of 23 years old is a much better option for a man than a woman who is past her peak.


Whoop. There it is. It only took 6 pages to get there.

The irony is that you are claiming these women are ageist.

But you just did the same thing, sir.

Hypocrisy is so démodé.



SadSamIAm said:


> He posted in the Ladies Lounge to see if he could get the ladies riled up about his relationship with the 23 year old.
> 
> He wasn't getting the responses he wanted, so he threw in the 'why would I want a 30 or 40 year old woman?' comment to try to get you riled up.
> 
> He is succeeding with some of you.


Some people like to come on forums and try to stir things. 



SadSamIAm said:


> My guess is that he uses her for sex for a while and eventually she leaves him for a 30ish guy.


:rofl:


----------



## Appleby

treyvion said:


> I think he was being facetious.


I wasn't. I was just responding to whoever said that I am attracted to the women at work. She didn't believe me when I said that I'm not and never have been, so I had to explain to her the exact reason, or one of the reasons why this is so. I'm just not attracted to women my age. 

On a side note, to address what someone else said about women in their peak, I don't know why she would think that a woman in her 40s is in it. Women in their early to mid 20s are at the highest attractiveness level that they will ever be, although if they look after themselves they can still look good for their age as they get older. 

They are also at their most fertile, while older women are past their most fertile years. Eggs are not like sperm. A woman is born with a finite number of eggs, and just like people, they get old, they get sick, and they die, and this happens quite rapidly. So even from a purely biological angle, younger women are at their peak. And their attractiveness at that age is almost practically a mirror of that. 

This is why men by and large are attracted to younger women, whether consciously or unconsciously. To say that older women are at any sort of peak, in any sense of the word, is just simply untrue, biologically, and physically. 

It's obvious that the women at my work are jealous of the fact that a guy their age would have the "audacity" to not only date a woman of a different culture, but one who is much younger than they are. It's like a double slap in the face for them. 

The fact of them constantly bending my ear to feign interest and concern while all the while having an outlet for their jealousy is entertaining to me, which is why I have no immediate plans to put an end to it. It's not me who initiates these conversations, it's always them, and as long as it entertains me, I'll oblige them. That's the only reason why I give them the attention that they want. 

And when I say attention, I'm referring to the fact that they also keep asking me if I like them or if I would date them. Make no mistake, they are the attention and validation seekers, and I'm happy to humour them.


----------



## Dollystanford

So attractiveness to you is about looks and fertility alone. That's fair enough, are you planning on getting your girlfriend pregnant? That seems like an excellent plan. Good luck!


----------



## Q tip

Well, if they get together, he'll have someone to push his wheelchair later on.

If the ladies who pester him are single, probably a bit jealous. He's off the market, maybe they feel they can't compete. That feeling goes both ways too.


----------



## Appleby

Dollystanford said:


> So attractiveness to you is about looks and fertility alone. That's fair enough, are you planning on getting your girlfriend pregnant? That seems like an excellent plan. Good luck!


Attractivness to me is about a number of things, including looks and fertility. To the women at work, attractiveness may be about different things, such as income.


----------



## TiggyBlue

Dollystanford said:


> So attractiveness to you is about looks and fertility alone. That's fair enough, are you planning on getting your girlfriend pregnant? That seems like an excellent plan. Good luck!


Wouldn't be a smart move on her part, he's not his fertile peak any longer either.


----------



## Jellybeans

Methinks it likes the attention.


----------



## Appleby

TiggyBlue said:


> Wouldn't be a smart move on her part, he's not his fertile peak any longer either.


That's true. But have you seen the graphs showing how rapidly women's fertility declines after 30? Men can have kids for a very long time after their peak, whereas women's fertility shoots right down fast. So the term peak is more pertinent to women's fertility, whereas for men, it's hardly an issue. Remember, a woman is born with all the eggs that she will ever have. Once they're gone, they're gone.


----------



## TiggyBlue

Appleby said:


> That's true. But have you seen the graphs showing how rapidly women's fertility declines after 30? Men can have kids for a very long time after their peak, whereas women's fertility shoots right down fast. So the term peak is more pertinent to women's fertility, whereas for men, it's hardly an issue. Remember, a woman is born with all the eggs that she will ever have. Once they're gone, they're gone.


It doesn't decline nearly at the rate that it's to by the media proclaims, part of the reason there's a problem with more that women over 40 have more abortions than teenage girls in the last few years.
The women born with all eggs is assumption, it has never actually been proven, what has been proven though is women has the same egg making stem cells in the ovaries.

The fact's are though a man 40 or over is just as likely to have a child with problems as a women 40 or over, having a baby with someone younger will reduce the risk for both genders.


----------



## Appleby

TiggyBlue said:


> It doesn't decline nearly at the rate that it's to by the media proclaims, part of the reason there's a problem with more that women over 40 have more abortions than teenage girls in the last few years.
> The women born with all eggs is assumption, it has never actually been proven, what has been proven though is women has the same egg making stem cells in the ovaries.
> 
> The fact's are though a man 40 or over is just as likely to have a child with problems as a women 40 or over, having a baby with someone younger will reduce the risk for both genders.


No that's wrong. I know people who are in a position to know about these things, and believe me, the difference between a man's fertility after 30 and a woman's, is huge. Unfortunately a lot of people are unaware of these biological facts. I'm not sure what abortion has to do with it.


----------



## MEM2020

Since you find questions on this topic amusing, perhaps you will entertain those below. 

- You make it clear that your female colleagues have no interest in you, and your tone implies that you are not surprised by that. 
- You imply you're reasonably tall - enough so that the height difference between you and your gf is noticeable.
- You directly state that you make decent money.

Given all that, why is it that your female colleagues have no interest in you? 




Appleby said:


> Yes I think you're right. Although I'm no more their type than they are mine, they are definitely very curious. Perhaps they're just concerned that she might be a gold digger or she wants to get into the country. I assured them that she already had a british passport when I met her, and that she has a job, but they were still very thorough with their questions nonetheless, so I guess they're more concerned and more curious than I had originally assumed.
> 
> I guess it must be intriguing for them to know what thai women are like, and why one of their own would choose a thai woman rather than one that he's more familiar with and knows well, knows how they think, etc. Maybe it's just the natural curiosity of wondering what other people are like, and how they differ. They did ask a lot about her life and what it's like, and I told them that she's a hard worker, mature, knows what she wants, takes life seriously, and sticks to things and sees them through. I like those qualities, and I'm optimistic that it's going to work out. The divorce rate here is around 50%, whereas the divorce rate between british and asian women is, as far as I understand, way lower. So it should be fine.
> 
> Now that I think about it, I suppose she is very different to them. There is definitely a big difference between her and women over here, even those who are the same age as her. And when I compare her to the women that I've dated here I see it too. Don't worry, none of this bothers me. On the contrary, it's entertaining answering their questions, and very enlightening. Understanding the differences between women in different parts of the world is quite good fun.


----------



## TiggyBlue

Appleby said:


> No that's wrong. I know people who are in a position to know about these things, and believe me, the difference between a man's fertility after 30 and a woman's, is huge. Unfortunately a lot of people are unaware of these biological facts. I'm not sure what abortion has to do with it.


Abortion rate's are higher because some presume they're pretty much infertile by the age of 40, get lax with birth control and then unwanted pregnancy occurs.


----------



## treyvion

TiggyBlue said:


> It doesn't decline nearly at the rate that it's to by the media proclaims, part of the reason there's a problem with more that women over 40 have more abortions than teenage girls in the last few years.
> The women born with all eggs is assumption, it has never actually been proven, what has been proven though is women has the same egg making stem cells in the ovaries.
> 
> The fact's are though a man 40 or over is just as likely to have a child with problems as a women 40 or over, having a baby with someone younger will reduce the risk for both genders.


Not sure I agree, some of the biology and characteristics of women are unique to women, and some of the biology and characteristics of men are unique to men.


----------



## Appleby

MEM11363 said:


> Since you find questions on this topic amusing, perhaps you will entertain those below.
> 
> - You make it clear that your female colleagues have no interest in you, and your tone implies that you are not surprised by that.
> - You imply you're reasonably tall - enough so that the height difference between you and your gf is noticeable.
> - You directly state that you make decent money.
> 
> Given all that, why is it that your female colleagues have no interest in you?


I have to say it's not something that I've found myself wondering about. If I was interested in them, maybe I'd have given it some thought. But seeing as I don't find them appealing, I haven't. Like I say the age is part of it, but there are other reasons too. In fact, they're more interested in my girlfriend that I am in them. 

I'm not especially tall by the way. I'm 5'11, normal height. It's my girlfriend who is short, hence the difference. I'm not sure why are infer that I'm tall.


----------



## EleGirl

Appleby,

Wo you want to marry this girl and have children with her. How many children do you see having? Do you see her as beign a SAHM with you being the breadwinner?


----------



## Appleby

TiggyBlue said:


> Abortion rate's are higher because some presume they're pretty much infertile by the age of 40, get lax with birth control and then unwanted pregnancy occurs.


No offense but the facts about women's fertility are pretty conclusive.


----------



## Appleby

EleGirl said:


> Appleby,
> 
> Wo you want to marry this girl and have children with her. How many children do you see having? Do you see her as beign a SAHM with you being the breadwinner?


Funnily enough, I was asked that. It's early days, that's all I can say.


----------



## TiggyBlue

Appleby said:


> No offense but the facts about women's fertility are pretty conclusive.


None offense taken, same goes with male fertility.


----------



## Appleby

TiggyBlue said:


> None offense taken, same goes with male fertility.


No, women's fertility declines rapidly, whereas men's fertility declines much slower. Next time you're at a family planning centre, ask and they'll confirm this.


----------



## Hope1964

No offense but the facts about which head most men tend to think with are pretty conclusive.


----------



## treyvion

TiggyBlue said:


> None offense taken, same goes with male fertility.


It's not that same:

Does a man's age affect fertility?

It pretty much says a man can get a woman pregnant at 70 even 80 years old.

That a womans fertility drops rapidly, while a man's doesn't drop much at all....


----------



## Appleby

Hope1964 said:


> No offense but the facts about which head most men tend to think with are pretty conclusive.


And yet they still managed to create a civilization in which you can post selfies on facebook telling everyone how great your life is, and how fertile you'll always be. You're welcome.


----------



## EleGirl

Appleby said:


> Funnily enough, I was asked that. It's early days, that's all I can say.


I gather then that having children is not overly important to you. So why does her fertility matter?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TiggyBlue

treyvion said:


> It's not that same:
> 
> Does a man's age affect fertility?
> 
> It pretty much says a man can get a woman pregnant at 70 even 80 years old.
> 
> That a womans fertility drops rapidly, while a man's doesn't drop much at all....


Never said they couldn't, was talking about producing a healthy child.


----------



## TiggyBlue

Appleby said:


> No, women's fertility declines rapidly, whereas men's fertility declines much slower. Next time you're at a family planning centre, ask and they'll confirm this.


It was through a friend going through fertility treatment I learned about male fertility.


----------



## EleGirl

You keep saying/implying that the women at work are jealous. ... then you imply that they are leasbians. You really need to make up your mind about all this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Appleby

EleGirl said:


> I gather then that having children is not overly important to you. So why does her fertility matter?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What gave you the impression that having kids isn't important to me? I don't know what you mean about the lesbian thing.


----------



## MEM2020

I should have been more precise. I assumed, correctly as it turns out, that you are above average height simply based on the wording you used about the height difference between you and your GF. 

Let me now restate:
- You are above average height
- You are 'not bad looking'
- You make decent money 
- You are clearly in THEIR sweet spot in terms of age, finances, and attractiveness. And yet none of them has ever shown any interest. 

So - instead of answering the opposite of the question I asked, which is why you aren't interested in them. I am asking why none of them are interested in you? 

You are leaving something about yourself that is material - unsaid.

To quote you from an earlier post: NEI





Appleby said:


> I have to say it's not something that I've found myself wondering about. If I was interested in them, maybe I'd have given it some thought. But seeing as I don't find them appealing, I haven't. Like I say the age is part of it, but there are other reasons too. In fact, they're more interested in my girlfriend that I am in them.
> 
> I'm not especially tall by the way. I'm 5'11, normal height. It's my girlfriend who is short, hence the difference. I'm not sure why are infer that I'm tall.


----------



## EleGirl

Appleby said:


> I don't know what you mean about the lesbian thing.





Appleby said:


> I have to say it's not something that I've found myself wondering about. If I was interested in them, maybe I'd have given it some thought. But seeing as I don't find them appealing, I haven't. Like I say the age is part of it, but there are other reasons too. *In fact, they're more interested in my girlfriend *that I am in them.


----------



## Appleby

They're interested in asking about her, and about us. They're not interested in her romantically. They haven't even met her, or seen a picture of her. 

Come now. That's lame.


----------



## Appleby

MEM11363 said:


> I should have been more precise. I assumed, correctly as it turns out, that you are above average height simply based on the wording you used about the height difference between you and your GF.
> 
> Let me now restate:
> - You are above average height
> - You are 'not bad looking'
> - You make decent money
> - You are clearly in THEIR sweet spot in terms of age, finances, and attractiveness. And yet none of them has ever shown any interest.
> 
> So - instead of answering the opposite of the question I asked, which is why you aren't interested in them. I am asking why none of them are interested in you?
> 
> You are leaving something about yourself that is material - unsaid.
> 
> To quote you from an earlier post: NEI


5'11 isn't above average. It's normal. I already said that. I'm flattered that you want me to be so tall for the sake of the argument that you're attempting to make, but I'm not. If you're scraping around to find reasons why they're not interested in me, perhaps you could take a stab at it yourself. The difference though is that I don't care. I just can't date a woman in her late 30s or beyond. Not my taste at all.


----------



## Hope1964

Appleby said:


> No offense but the facts about women's fertility are pretty conclusive.


And yet they still managed to create civilization. You're welcome.


----------



## Appleby

Hope1964 said:


> And yet they still managed to create civilization. You're welcome.


Women created civilization? Ok then.


----------



## Hope1964

MEM11363 said:


> I am asking why none of them are interested in you?


Isn't it kind of obvious??


----------



## that_girl

THANK GOD my fertility will drop off drastically.

I have had my babies. I'm done.

I wish fertility was something I could donate. I know some people who need it.

But I wouldn't want to be in my late 40s and have a child. Shoot me.

And I know if I was single, I'd be with women. As it is, I'm working on things with my younger man. I get that. I wouldn't want to be with some old fart. Ew.


----------



## norajane

Appleby said:


> They're interested in asking about her, and about us. They're not interested in her romantically. They haven't even met her, or seen a picture of her.
> 
> Come now. That's lame.


And you're super interested in talking about _them_, and asking about _them_, and saying stuff about _them_, here on Talk About Marriage. 

Come now.


----------



## Appleby

norajane said:


> And you're super interested in talking about _them_, and asking about _them_, and saying stuff about _them_, here on Talk About Marriage.
> 
> Come now.


Well, as long as the women here keep asking me about it, it would be rude not to oblige. Come now.


----------



## that_girl

OP, You're rather funny.

Go enjoy your awesome gf. Honestly. Why post on here and argue with other people about yourself? lol Now that's lame.

And please, no one come.


----------



## Appleby

that_girl said:


> OP, You're rather funny.
> 
> Go enjoy your awesome gf.


Thanks, I will.


----------



## that_girl

Bye!  

I will countdown my time until our vacation...hence being home and trying not to spend money....zzzzzz....lol.


----------



## Appleby

that_girl said:


> Bye!
> 
> I will countdown my time until our vacation...hence being home and trying not to spend money....zzzzzz....lol.


Bye!


----------



## that_girl

lol I know you didn't leave. Do you really have a gf?


----------



## Appleby

that_girl said:


> lol I know you didn't leave. Do you really have a gf?


I thought you were leaving.


----------



## that_girl

No, I was saying bye to you  So you can go enjoy that awesome girlfriend that everyone is so interested in


----------



## Appleby

that_girl said:


> No, I was saying bye to you  So you can go enjoy that awesome girlfriend that everyone is so interested in


You mean you're not going?


----------



## that_girl

LOL Man.....I think your whole story is what you WISH your life was like.


----------



## that_girl

Who said anything about pandering.

I just wondered if his GF is so awesome why he's on here and not out with her...enjoying life.


----------



## treyvion

that_girl said:


> Who said anything about pandering.
> 
> I just wondered if his GF is so awesome why he's on here and not out with her...enjoying life.


Well that's what he should be doing. It's just a female. But yeah, that's all he can do and should be doing anyway.


----------



## ASummersDay

The OP's comments in this thread remind me so much of a scene in the show Workaholics. This really, really immature character with an abysmally low IQ, Adam, is talking about how he would like to date some 19 year old girls "until they turn 23, when chicks go rotten." The OP seems a lot like Adam. I bet they'd have a great time hanging out under bridges together.


----------



## ASummersDay

...and charging those yucky women over 24 some super high tolls to cross. After all, they have no business leaving their house.


----------



## Q tip

Watch it OP. That girl can tear you a new one.

How much do you know and understand her culture, religion and customs. If not much, good luck.


----------



## that_girl

I have a ton of posts. MOST from 3 years ago. 

Isn't it late in England right now? Shouldn't you be out with that GF of yours or snuggling in bed?

It's only 3:48 here. Playing with the kids, the dogs. Went to the mall because my teenagers love it. Soon I'll cook dinner for my whole family (Husband included) and do some laundry and then finish reading a book I started.

I can talk a lot. The amount of my posts mean nothing.

My marriage is in trouble...it's not broken up  Sorry to disappoint.


----------



## Q tip

that_girl said:


> Shouldn't you be getting attention about your hot gf right now?


:rofl: :lol: :rofl: :iagree: :rofl:


----------



## that_girl

The last one? LOL I won't marry twice.

I'm not arguing. Just effin around.

I multi-task. 

He's at work. I would be, but it's summer so I'm off  But still get paid so it's nice.

I'm just bustin your chops, man. Damn. You sure like to try to fight dirty though. Thankfully I don't get offended. I know who I am.

But honestly, why'd you start this thread? If you wanted to just brag about your woman, then just brag about her.  A good love story is nice to read! 

You can keep insulting me if you like. It just makes you look like the fool.

But if I had a hot, young woman like you do-- I wouldn't be on a marriage forum talkin' to old women. *wink wink* I'd be gettin' some! Aw yea.


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## FrenchFry

Thanks CA for the cleanup! This guy likes to do this over and over---I'm gonna shut this down.


Until next time!


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