# Wife has phobia about giving oral sex. Have any guys had success in overcoming this?



## Spousal Unit (Aug 25, 2012)

Hi,

First post here. My wife WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. In sixteen years of marriage she has given me head *maybe* three times. I’ve asked her about it several times and she always tells me its "unladylike" and "icky" and "gross" and, oh yeah, there must be _millions _of "germs" on my penis. I have always told her that I would thoroughly wash my unit first and I would NEVER come in her mouth. (I don’t even want to.)

Conversely, she LOVES to get oral sex from me. I used to do it for her a couple of times a month, but I got fed up with the lack of reciprocity and now do it maybe four or five times per year.

It’s been extremely frustrating that my rational professional woman wife is so irrational and phobic regarding this aspect of our sex life. Are there any guys out there who have successfully overcome an oral sex phobia with their SO? Therapy is probably not an option because as far as she is concerned there is no problem to be addressed.

BTW, I asked her if her objection to it was due to parental or religious admonitions and she says no on both counts. She also says that she has not been sexually abused before she met me. Her objections seem to be entirely on aesthetic grounds.

TIA


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Why give her oral ever? I think you have two choices. You can either accept that she isn't interested in giving you something you want, or you can do something about it.

If you want to do something, I don't think withholding sex is the answer. If your wife is typical, she has a lower drive than you do. You would just be punishing yourself in order to make a point.

What I suggest is finding something that you do for your wife that she loves and you aren't crazy about. If your wife loves to sit and drink coffee on the porch with you on Saturday mornings, then quit doing that. Something like that. Just cut it out.

When your wife balks, tell her that you've decided you're not interested in giving her what she likes anymore. You can then link it back to her refusing oral for you.

If she doesn't balk, at least you've matched her level of effort in your relationship. Nothing sucks more than running in place for her approval while she isn't interested in how you feel.

Good luck.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

why would you marry her if she only wants you to down on her but she wont return the favor?

Dude that is selfish and hypocrisy at its finest. "Germs" 

Its marriage you are married sex is vital


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

sorry to be blunt but you can only change individuals so much that is the truth.


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## jnyu44 (Feb 13, 2012)

sorry to hear that bro. Let me know if you ever find out the answer. My wife gives me occasional bjs, but won't let me go down on her which is something I used to love giving my ex-gfs. For some reason, I really enjoy doing that so I'm hoping one day I can change her mind. Keep searching for the answer but know that it may take time (or may never even happen), and find a way to manage your emotions regarding it. Definitely not an easy task and I sympathize...but if you're having sex, count yourself lucky amongst the people in this section of the forum =)


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

I always made sure to return the favor, and switched up what I did. Kept her on her toes, and she was usually eager to see what would happen. 

As for your wife...

Tell you will return the favor quite a bit if she will reciprocate. If she loves it. But flat out REFUSE if she won't give it. If she really wants it, she will give it. 

Or, to deal with the germs:
They make flavored condoms. Maybe wear those, and see if she would be open to it. 
Or do it in the shower, after thoroughly washing.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

She may have been sexually abused. I used to hate giving oral for this reason; any guy that pressured me despite my discomfort reminded me of the man who sexually abused me.

If this is the issue, your wife needs to seek help rather than punishing you for her past. 

If she cannot give you oral, you should not be going down on her.
There are a lot of fluids and germs that come with sex. If everyone thought about this all the time, the human race would die out. I hate to sweat and I don't like my husband's sweat dripping on me during sex, but I tolerate it because it is natural. 

Some people are grossed out by normal things; the human body can be pretty disgusting.


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## pattimang (Aug 30, 2012)

If you want to do something, I don't think withholding sex is the answer.


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

firstyeardown said:


> some people are grossed out by normal things; the human body can be pretty disgusting.



lol...truth!!


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

As you're already in the situation, not sure what to say to fix it. But, I learned early on, that if a woman thinks a penis "ugly" or giving head "disgusting", that is the litmus test. It's a very good indication of what the rest of your sex life will be like her when she's finished with the "bait and switch" and trying to win you over. A couple rounds with those types were enough for me to learn to RUN from any other who was like that. 

By the same token, the best sex I've ever had (with my W) is with someone who loves to give head and "craves it". 

She should try some counseling perhaps. Especially if her sex drive is otherwise ok. If that's the case, it may not take a lot to get her through this barrier?


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## preets (Aug 29, 2012)

Being a lady I have also came accross this situation no. of times in the initial stage of my marriage. I also used to love getting oral from my husband but hate giving the same. Then gradually the things changed. I studied lot on net about oral sex, I was more concern about hygeine. Knowlege makes a person human being and I too after going through in detail on net got to know that its not bad and totaly safe. But yes, dont expect your wife to give you oral suddenly, it will take time from the day you start working on this. If she loves you, she will not deny provided she is clear with all her mental blockages. She must be obsessed with cleanliness. Ask her to read more on oral sex, written by experts, if possible take her to a sexologist who can clear her all mental blockages. Clean your genitals prior to sex accompnying deo's and perfumes (some sexual fragrance). Do foreplay as much possible before final sex. Give her space while doing sex. I am sure she will get ready for it the way I do for my hubby.

Preeti


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## Hurra (Sep 13, 2009)

donny64 said:


> As you're already in the situation, not sure what to say to fix it. But, I learned early on, that if a woman thinks a penis "ugly" or giving head "disgusting", that is the litmus test. It's a very good indication of what the rest of your sex life will be like her when she's finished with the "bait and switch" and trying to win you over. A couple rounds with those types were enough for me to learn to RUN from any other who was like that.
> 
> By the same token, the best sex I've ever had (with my W) is with someone who loves to give head and "craves it".
> 
> She should try some counseling perhaps. Especially if her sex drive is otherwise ok. If that's the case, it may not take a lot to get her through this barrier?


This guy got it. My wife said early on in our relationship she didn't like giving head but made up for it in other ways. I saw some of those other ways before marriage but have not since marriage. And our sex life since marriage has not been good. But the refusal of oral early on was a sign I ignored. She has no sex drive. And exgf before my wife loved giving head and loved sex in its many forms. She couldn't get enough. 

If I find a solution I will post it up. But don't hold your breath.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> She may have been sexually abused. I used to hate giving oral for this reason; any guy that pressured me despite my discomfort reminded me of the man who sexually abused me.
> 
> If this is the issue, your wife needs to seek help rather than punishing you for her past.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

Initially my wife didn't like my sweat either, but now she likes it.
Funny thing is she always gets really turned on when giving me oral. 
A lot of stuff that repulses people are actually mental barriers.
Only they could remove it . [ with help from their spouses of course!]


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

That sounds extremely selfish of her. I'd probably put a stop to giving her oral unless she returned the favor.

I've had some oral issues in the past. I can not stomach semen, I literally throw up and I can not help it. I finally found a lube that works very well(ID Juicy lube, mint). However, I can not have my husband finish inside my mouth completely, so either we finish with a HJ or other ways. I absolutely love giving oral, but I can not stomach semen, not even the presemen. My husband is very happy we found the lube and is satisified with what we do. I also have to be very careful due to a nasty neck injury I have too.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

jnyu44 said:


> sorry to hear that bro. Let me know if you ever find out the answer. My wife gives me occasional bjs, but won't let me go down on her which is something I used to love giving my ex-gfs. For some reason, I really enjoy doing that so I'm hoping one day I can change her mind.


I'm in the same boat. I can't fathom why my wife won't let me do it to her. She gives GREAT BJs from start to finish. She said she never can finish that way so it's a waste of time -- but there's more to it, I think. She does NOT let me touch her "down there," and rarely lets me touch her during foreplay. When she wants to be touched, she drags my head to her breasts, and she finishes herself by touching herself. 

I am a VERY tactile person, and was taken aback when she didn't like to be touched or even massaged. It's taken me three years of VERY SLOWLY working my way from her feet to her legs to her arms to her back to allow me to give a massage. She's begun to let me snuggle and touch her breasts on rare occasion, but I'm making progress. She has let me "help her" when she is ready to O, but she's made it clear that she prefers her own hand.

I have a silly feeling that she likes to get things done quickly, and that she knows it will take longer if I do it rather than she does it. She is quite passionate, but I think she has somewhat compartmentalized sex into a place where it has a certain timeframe. Sometimes if we make love and I am taking a long time to finish (sometimes I can't due to medication) she simply ends it, even if I offer to finish her. 

I can only suggest that you take some form of strategy where you touch her where she is comfortable, and then work your way, slowly towards forbidden places. For me, that has let me go from what started as simple innocent foot rubs, to nearly her entire body. I'm starting to incorporate kissing and nibbling into my strategy. 

When I do this, I make sure that I am NOT doing a quid-pro-quo massage-means-BJ kind of tactic, and have quite gotten used to her falling asleep in my arms during a massage. This is QUITE a change from when she would balk at cuddling at all because she assumed that ANY cuddling meant sex.

Based on her history, her first husband slept in a separate bed and any time he was in bed with her they had missionary sex and he went back to his own bed immediately. She did NOT experience an O until 7 years into her marriage at age 26 or so, and then it was was inconsistent. The unrewarding sex led to an affair and a disastrous second marriage to a serial cheater; I don't think he was particularly giving either. I have a lot of history to overcome.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

Spousal Unit said:


> Hi,
> 
> First post here. My wife WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. In sixteen years of marriage she has given me head *maybe* three times. I’ve asked her about it several times and she always tells me its "unladylike" and "icky" and "gross" and, oh yeah, there must be _millions _of "germs" on my penis. I have always told her that I would thoroughly wash my unit first and I would NEVER come in her mouth. (I don’t even want to.)
> 
> ...


After 16 years, you may be kinda stuck. IMHO, it seems unlikely that she's going to change. 

When introducing any new behavior to anyone, you have to address the stated objections, and then work towards the goal in incremental steps that incorporate something that is an approximation of what is the final outcome. 

As you have already addressed her objections in terms of cleanliness, and she's already given you a few BJs, you have already established a pattern that may be harder to break than if it was 16 years of NO BJs at all. 

At the risk of sounding too graphic, I'd still give it a shot by maybe doing some of the following over the course of MANY sessions. Start out with sessions that do NOT end up with anything resembling a BJ, and don't even pressure her into completing anything sexually. 

Incorporate her into a cleaning ritual. Let HER wash and dry you.
Depending on your personal views, you may want to incorporate shaving. (I never have, but it could help tone down an "ick")
Don't hold back showing your excitement, but *don't pressure her to continue*. If you simply can't stand it, maybe finish yourself. And maybe even offer to lend her a hand.

After a few more NO PRESSURE sessions, add in a bit more. Do NOT do too much in one session, just add in a bit each time. Don't pressure her to continue to the next step until she is comfortable with the current step. 

Maybe turn the cleaning ritual into a "hand job"
Incorporate some kissing into the HJ
Then add in tongue
Etc … not wanting to get any more explicitly, but think small steps

Make sure your diet includes foods that won't add any pungent or bitter perspiration or fluids, such as garlic, onions, fish, or asparagus. Maybe add in stuff that will make things a bit more flavorful; pineapple may be a good choice.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

donny64 said:


> As you're already in the situation, not sure what to say to fix it. But, I learned early on, that if a woman thinks a penis "ugly" or giving head "disgusting", that is the litmus test. It's a very good indication of what the rest of your sex life will be like her when she's finished with the "bait and switch" and trying to win you over. A couple rounds with those types were enough for me to learn to RUN from any other who was like that.
> 
> By the same token, the best sex I've ever had (with my W) is with someone who loves to give head and "craves it".
> 
> She should try some counseling perhaps. Especially if her sex drive is otherwise ok. If that's the case, it may not take a lot to get her through this barrier?


 Hold on now.... My story proves there are some exceptions to this...Sexual repression was MY issue... just a lack of education, plus my husband never really talked to me or tried to arouse these passions in me. 

I was dumb enough to speak out of my mouth that I felt all penis's were "homely" yrs ago, I guess this comment really hurt him & he sure as H wasn't going to ask me to put my mouth on it after that "foot in the mouth" comment .... not one of my brighter moments by a long shot ...Thank God we can :rofl: about it now.. 

I could write a freaking thesis on how much I love the organ now...want to take it in my mouth, all of it - very naughtily ...worship the darn thing. Mesmerized - I got it bad. 

I don't know about this wife, but they say when a person is REPRESSED, they do not know they are repressed, all I knew is back then... I wasn't comfortable with it, he didn't try to push me though, so it was never a deal breaker but had I not been so brainwashed on religious teachings - or seeing the dirtiness of porn as a young person, so many made sex look CHEAP to me and I just associated this act along with the dirtiness, I have no other way but to describe my feelings other than this. 

I needed to throw out the religious books & get a secular book on SEX, that would have served me much better back then. 

I had issues with him doing oral on me too though, my brain was in overdrive the whole time -thinking how can he stand that, ewww, what if I smell, I was just so darn embarrassed, he was not one to say anything during sex.... looking back I feel he could have calmed my raging mind by talking me up- a little flirting, telling me how much he loved what he was doing... something [email protected]#$% ....but the quietnesss screamed to me. 

Obviously I am so over all of those hinderances of the past, and free as the most erotic bird one could possibly find in a marriage bed, so... in this way... I do believe some women CAN change, kinda depends on her issue.... and a change in her mindset...

But at the end of the day....SHE has to be open to that, willing and seek it out. For me- a sex drive increase put me over the edge.


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## roger boschman (Aug 3, 2012)

Spousal Unit said:


> Hi,
> 
> First post here. My wife WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. In sixteen years of marriage she has given me head *maybe* three times. I’ve asked her about it several times and she always tells me its "unladylike" and "icky" and "gross" and, oh yeah, there must be _millions _of "germs" on my penis. I have always told her that I would thoroughly wash my unit first and I would NEVER come in her mouth. (I don’t even want to.)
> 
> ...


ORAL: If she thinks it is dirty,solve that by using a condom. If she accepts that, move to showering together. Let her wash your units, and you wash hers. She'll know it's clean. I hope this helps. -- Roger G. Boschman


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I would say it's not a phobia. It's just something she doesn't want to do.

not saying it's right, but that's what it is.


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## Henry (Nov 20, 2007)

Some do and some don't. Although these days it seems like very few don't. 
I have only been with three women and they all did it at least once. 
I should have married my first girl as she wanted it all the time including discharge and never mentioned me doing her.. I was to dumb then to realize what I wanted.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

I suspect that since your penis is COVERED UP most of the day, and never touches another human being and no objects other than your hand when you urinate that it has fewer germs than any other part of your body.

Perhaps you should try that logic!


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

My wife had a phobia about it as well. When she was younger, she was subjected to some (unspecified) abuse. I have never pried, I have let her work on it as she's been able. It manifests itself in being utterly repelled by semen. Especially in or near her mouth. Many years ago, right after we got married, she saw a clip of a woman getting her "facial" and she jumped and raced to the bathroom, but managed to not throw up dinner. 

After a few years, she did perform oral on me, but I had to promise to never go all the way, or to warn her to stop. Funny thing, being so afraid of that, spoiled it for me - I was so frustrated by knowing I had to just hold back, a BJ was a near immediate erection killer. Then, a year or so ago, she suddenly grabbed and started in and when I yanked back to avoid losing it, she acted rather irked. I reminded her (it had been 3-4 years since the last time), and she said "oh, never mind that, it's not a problem anymore" But the mood was spoiled and it hasn't happened again... 

So, I'd say that there's a lot of conditioning and even rather small events that can be tied to bad experiences that just totally make doing something "not doable" and not really be a phobia, just something to relive a bad experience. She's hinted, and I think it was a male uncle ejaculating on her when she was just about to be or just into her teens. Strong negative connection that can be replayed, for sure.


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## cashybum (Aug 16, 2012)

I have a small mouth so BJs always made my jaw hurt really bad. I don't particularly care for the taste of cum and how my whole mouth tingles. 

However, I do like to give BJs but only when I'm facing his feet because the shape of his penis better fits my mouth and I can kind of rest my body on his and comfortably use both my hands as well. I also like that he can stimulate me with his hands or 69 while I'm down there. My husband would prefer BJ's where I face him so he can watch (he loves BJs and facial porn too) but he'd prefer to get more bj's than not so he deals with it...

Maybe try upping the comfort level for her is my point. Shave, make sure your nice and clean (balls can stink too!) and maybe add some cool whip for added flavor.


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## Dissociate (Oct 4, 2012)

She may have been sexually abused. The true numbers are staggering. Perpetrators and victims can be some of the seemingly least likely. 

Victims of rape and incest have an incredible capacity to repress conscious awareness of these events. Until you remember, you can't believe that such forgetting is even possible. So, her saying it ain't so is rather meaningless. 

The problem for those repressing is that they are consciously unaware of the negative thoughts (memories) in their subconscious mind that are influencing their behavior. They will deny having a problem or will attribute the problem to causes. Conscious awareness is the key to the rational thinking needed to overcome these phobias. 

If she has been abused you have a better chance of figuring that out then she does. Look beneath the surface of all aspects of her life. The effects of repressed memories of sexual abuse are not limited just to the aspects of your sexual relationship. They can surface in some of the stranges places. Eventually the subtle signs may all piece together and present you with a astonishingly clear picture of what she has been through. Noone is in a better position than you to see this, but it takes extraordinary intuition and recognition of your own emotional handicapping.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

From the OP:



Spousal Unit said:


> BTW, I asked her if her objection to it was due to parental or religious admonitions and she says no on both counts. She also says that she has not been sexually abused before she met me. Her objections seem to be entirely on aesthetic grounds.
> 
> TIA


I suppose she might be repressing it, but she says no abuse so we have to go with what she says.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

jnyu44 said:


> sorry to hear that bro. Let me know if you ever find out the answer. My wife gives me occasional bjs, but won't let me go down on her which is something I used to love giving my ex-gfs. For some reason, I really enjoy doing that so I'm hoping one day I can change her mind. Keep searching for the answer but know that it may take time (or may never even happen), and find a way to manage your emotions regarding it. Definitely not an easy task and I sympathize...


I'm in same boat. She'll give but won't let me give back. She is VERY particular about when and where I can touch her during sex or foreplay. Can't figure it out. as we're having good sex (almost) often enough, it's hard to complain. Things are improving slowly. I've had to slowly expand the areas I've been touching and she is letting me get away with it. 

Life is a journey...


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

My wife never liked giving BJs... When we were dating and for years after we were first married. She would do it occasionally... Couple times a year, without my prompting, but you can tell when her heart wasn't in it. She always swallowed which was nice, but she never liked me touching her too much while she was doing it an she wanted me on my back.

I found out later that she had a bad experience with what she described as an 'alpha male' in college. The guy basically forced her head down and kept it up and it just was traumatic. She doesn't use the word rape, but that's basically what it was.

It took years for her to get over it. Now, she likes me to get a couple firm handsful of hair and just enjoy it, and she enjoys it too. Its maybe once every couple months but that's fine with us. She also likes 69, and loves to receive. She is very comfortable sexually now.

My point being... Even though trust wasn't an issue, there were still some things there to work through. Things I wasn't aware of at first.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Spousal Unit said:


> My wife WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. In sixteen years of marriage she has given me head *maybe* three times.


Captain Obvious here:

If in 16 yrs she's only given you head *maybe* 3 times, then why do you think she'd change in the future?

I'm assuming you knew she was averse to blow jobs when you were dating but you still married her.

It's like Chris Rock says:

There are 3 kinds of women--
The ones who never give him, the ones who give you JUST enough to keep you happy, and the ones who thin k it's the best thing on the planet.

Sounds like you married the first kind.

Oh you could talk to her and tell her how you feel but nearly twenty years in, I seriously doubt she'd be all blow-job-loving overnight. I don't think people change that much, really.

I'm sorry.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Initially my wife didn't like my sweat either, but now she likes it.
> Funny thing is she always gets really turned on when giving me oral.
> ...


Agreed. And....hello?!...my husbands penis is my favorite thing...what i like to call "the moneymaker."


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

I did talked to my DW yesterday about how lacking of her going down on me (7 times in 5 years marriage), while 8 out 10 sex we had I did go down on her. She said we did 69 almost everytime after I go down on her. And I had to explain to her that going down and 69 are different, and she admitted that they were different. At last she ask me, why I didn't ask her to do it more often. I replied, from her stories I knew she always did it to her ex-bfs, and she said, he did always asked her to. I went down on her, because I like it, not because she asked me. And I just said to her, I will never asked or made her do it, if she didn't like it. 
My whole point to her was, it is very inconsiderate of her to almost never going down on me during our 5 years marriage. And if her start doing it now, it will be like mocking me, because she did it to her ex-bf, and only did it to me after I complained. What I want her to know is, if she do it because I asked, not because she want to, I don't want it. Although I admit that her deep throat was awesome. But I can live without that.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

TallJeff said:


> I suspect that since your penis is COVERED UP most of the day


:rofl: I hope so! Sorry, couldn't resist.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Horsa said:


> My whole point to her was, it is very inconsiderate of her to almost never going down on me during our 5 years marriage. And if her start doing it now, it will be like mocking me, because she did it to her ex-bf, and only did it to me after I complained. What I want her to know is, if she do it because I asked, not because she want to, I don't want it.


So, she isn't giving you oral, and now you've told her you would like oral, but now you don't want her to give you oral?

Is there really anything that she could do to make you happy?


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

I don't want her to give me oral because I ask. I enjoy receiving oral, but I dread the lack of enthusiasm. I gave her oral becoz I love going down there, not becoz she asked for it.
And DW did admitted doing it sometimes to her first BF without being asked, becoz he usually give her oral too. If she could give him oral without being asked for, why she couldn't do it for me without being asked for. And she said I give better oral than him.
She is a good wife, I mean she really is. I have never been happier in my life before I met her. It's just some small details we had to work out.


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## TheMonogamista (Oct 5, 2012)

I, personally, LOVE going down on my husband. It think it's sexy, and it turns me on. I think some women feel that it's humiliating or that it takes their sense of power away, but I actually find it incredibly empowering. When I have his manhood in my mouth, I have complete control over him. Knowing that I am directing his experience of pleasure, feeling the control over him is enthralling. I also enjoy getting better at it. It IS a skill, and the more you do it, the better you get at it. And the better I get at it, the more he is under my power.
Good luck, anyhow. I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. Yes, I think it can get better, but it will take some time or a break through. Best of luck!


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

jnyu44 said:


> sorry to hear that bro. Let me know if you ever find out the answer. My wife gives me occasional bjs, but won't let me go down on her which is something I used to love giving my ex-gfs. For some reason, I really enjoy doing that so I'm hoping one day I can change her mind. Keep searching for the answer but know that it may take time (or may never even happen), and find a way to manage your emotions regarding it. Definitely not an easy task and I sympathize...but if you're having sex, count yourself lucky amongst the people in this section of the forum =)


50 years and almost maybe ,and not quite,&nada.
at all?!


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

olwhatsisname said:


> 50 years and almost maybe ,and not quite,&nada.
> at all?!


Married 47 years this month.....For many years the wife was always ready for PIV but almost no oral....I began giving her more oral. and had her lie on top of me when I performed it....With the problem staring her right in the face, she began to reciprocate.(It always helped to have a towel or washcloth apear out of nowhere, so she could give it a final buff pre BJ)...As I was doing her, she would start doing me, and I found that the more pleasure I gave her, the more enthusiastic she became....
It eventually got to the point that if she felt I had done something especially NICE, she would DO me as a thank you...
In the past 6-8 years she has gotten pretty good.....The sexiest thing she ever said was (I can still feel a little of you trickling down My throat) OH YAH!!!! Now, if I just walk into her room and say "I would really love a BJ right now". I would get lucky about half the time....I am satisfied with that....:smthumbup:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

OP, I haven't read the replies, but did she maybe have a bad experience before? Did she do it before you were married?

It's going to take a lot of work, IF she ever comes around. She has to change her perspective about it. Instead of seeing "dirty" she will have to see "clean", instead of seeing "gross" she will have to see "beautiful", instead of seeing "unladylike" she will have to see that even a "lady" will do this for her husband.

So, how do we get her to "see" those things and change her perspectives? Counseling/Sex Therapy is one. Lots of praise and positive reinforcement when she does do it. Flavored lubes? How about trying it for just 30 seconds at a time? Will she agree to do that, let's say, once a week? Does she have a problem with gagging? Any other issues she may have?

Loving a man with your mouth is one of the most intimate things a woman can do to show her unconditional love... I hope that this is something she will attempt to overcome.

(For the record, I did not like it at first, either, but I have grown to love it now). 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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