# How do you know you are emotionally connected vs emotionally neglected



## Azure (Oct 8, 2012)

I wanted some input on how you define being emotionally connected to someone? 

How is it different than when someone is being emotionally unavailable or your perception of feeling neglected?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Good questions... I'll be watching this thread for the responses! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AsTheStoryGoes (Oct 10, 2012)

Being emotionally neglected...

When your feelings are being overlooked and not taken into consideration by your SO. When your SO knows you are hurting inside (whether it is because of them or not) and isn't there for you, supporting you, trying to make it better. When your SO doesn't care about your feelings, thoughts, etc.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

AsTheStoryGoes said:


> Being emotionally neglected...
> 
> When your feelings are being overlooked and not taken into consideration by your SO. When your SO knows you are hurting inside (whether it is because of them or not) and isn't there for you, supporting you, trying to make it better. When your SO doesn't care about your feelings, thoughts, etc.


Very good definition! 








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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'll add more later but I can tell you part of me being emotionally neglected was when everyone else's emotional needs came before mine. His family, his boss, his employees, his friends, etc.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

When one is emotionally fulfilled, it brings an inner happiness/ Joy , brightens our countenance..... we feel wholly accepted by the other, even in our flaws, our bad hair days... we are shown consideration , grace, given their time & their listening ear...we feel we have someone to lean on. The attitude of this song -given to us in a relationship & lived....  Lean On Me  

The other night... me & my husband had a really emotionally mushy teary eyed -but mountain top couple hours... reliving the past with each other.... . we dug out some old canisters -- old Love letters - to each other in my hands ...my teen journal....I started reading some of this aloud..... OMG........my attitude.... bossy little opinionated wench - then on the other spectrum, I was this clingy emotionally vulnerable girl....insecurity detected in much of my writings..... ..... I was caught between laughing hysterically and feeling ... wow, how in the world did He ever put up with me [email protected]#$%^ .....but then I would find one that I was pouring out my







in how good he was to me/ how I loved him ...I don't know, I think we were both a little messed up - but together.... we fulfilled something in the other and built something beautiful over these years. 

And through it all, just as he did back then, he'd take me in his arms and hold me..... always my #1 fan....we both cried in front of each other....noses touching looking into each others eyes with tears streaming ...had to keep blowing my nose....we are pathetic like this sometimes... but ya know, moments like that ... what an emotional HIGH ...at the same time. It's about vulnerability before each other... Then we just laugh at ourselves. 

Tremendous emotional connection in that. 

It is just something you FEEL deep within, it washes over you, gives you a comfort and contentment that you are utterly Loved..and always will be. 

Whereas ..... If you feel slighted, pushed aside, neglected like everyone else is more important in your significant others life....that you don't measure up, he/she doesn't take the time to LISTEN to you ~ when you are feeling down..... come to your aid when you are sick & need a friend - someone just to sit by your side, give you a hug.... spending "TIME" with you.... 

If their ACTIONS do not match their words...little things DO matter.... this all begins to take a toll on us emotionally ....to make us feel "less" in their eyes, less important generally = less emotional connection between 2 people .... this always Hurts the







. 

To avoid this sort of pain, often people numb.... they want to push it down, they try to fill themselves in other ways... addictions, vices....anything to take the edge off. Many guard their hearts due to past hurts, afraid to allow others in to see the REAL them, the fragile them, their sensitive side that is capable of getting hurt...and deeply. To overcome this hurdle with someone you love, to work through that and find this place... is the goldmine in relationships. Or so I feel.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Okay I've been on both sides of this with my husband.

Emotionally unavailable means you know that person isn't really all there for you. They go through the motions and it appears as if they are but you feel 'off' like something is missing but you can't quite put your finger on it. 

There are clues like he takes the time to listen to his mother but can't take his eyes off the tv when you talk. His voice is animated when his friends call but you get the feeling you're just bothering him or he's bored. He tells you he loves you but it feels more like a chore than something truly heartfelt. When you've had a bad day and need to talk or a hug he conveniently has to work late. And if he does come home in time if someone else unimportant calls he will take it.

Emotionally connected is you are his best friend and the most important person in the world. He calls and texts often because he cares. He rushes home to be with you and he gives you his full attention. If he knows you are upset he rushes to your side with attention and empathy. You have no doubt you are the most important person in his world by the way he listens, pays attention and prioritizes. He's THERE for you in anyway you need him to be. When he says he loves you he means it. It's heartfelt and genuine.

You can talk for hours about nothing and everything. There is openness and honesty. You have no secrets and you trust each other explicitly. You are each others BEST friends. It's quite magical when you have this. It's quite heady.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

> I wanted some input on how you define being emotionally connected to someone?


Emotionally connected to me means that we are both interested in the others lives, well being, interests, daily lives.
I know I can tell him something and months later he remembers what we talked about and visa versa.

Recently we had a situation that I was really unhappy about and felt left out. We discussed it and both listened to where the other was coming from. He was a big man about it, fixed what had happened and showed me he understood my POV. He did not mean for me to feel the way I did but he listened and then acted.

Emotionally connected is when it comes naturally to invest what is needed in the relationship because you want to with all your heart. You want your partner to be emotionally happy and have a balanced life together.


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## Azure (Oct 8, 2012)

Thank you all for your insight. 

I've been feeling emotionally disconnected for a good while now, even though we are newlyweds. Your answers helped me understand why


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