# Should I forgive her?



## MichaelI (Jan 30, 2016)

Me and my wife have been married for 12 years now,together for 16.We don't have kids.

I never expected this from her.One day when I got home from work I walked in on her giving head to another man.Both she and the man were completely naked.He immediately ran out of the apartment,didn't even get dressed.It is safe to say that the situation was quite shocking and tumultuous.At first I remember being shocked and then angry,my anger prevailed,I forcefully lifted up my wife and literally slapped her around-something I'm not proud of.I demanded an explanation.She said that she did it out of boredom and negligence on my part.

I have to admit that in recent memory I haven't been the best husband,I've been a better provider than I have been a husband but I don't think that what she did was sound and reasonable,I don't think that was a good way to go about a marital problem at all.To my surprise she claimed to share the same opinion so she started apologizing,literally begging me to forgive her.

It's been nearly 2 weeks since that happened and we haven't slept together in the same bed nor have we kissed or done anything physical.Speaking of kisses -how am I supposed to kiss my wife ever again knowing what those lips have been wrapped around.That is the main problem here-I can't get over what happened ,it's scarred me for life,It plays in my head every day,on a loop.

A couple of days ago I finally decided to sit her down and talk to her about what happened properly.She told me everything,showed me everything.Apparently she met this person on ****** Maddison-another detail I can't get over.Anyway,she deactivated her account before my eyes,deleted all of his contacts-phone number etc and begged me again.

I think I have already forgiven her but that is not the point.The point is that our bond has been damaged so bad I don't think it can be repaired.Even if I ever trusted her again,which would be very hard to achieve , I would always remember what happened in detail and it would always gross me out.At the same time,I love her so much and can't imagine my life without her.Me and her used to fight a lot,we used to break up many times before we got married which made me realize that even 1 day without her is painful enough.

With all of that being said,what should I do?Anyone experienced anything like this?Help pls!


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

She met the guy via AM?

I'd bet my next paycheck that this wasn't her first rodeo.

There's more.

Keep digging.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Get counselling. Individual as well as couples.


----------



## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Yuk

Didnt you get the address from his wallet and have you informed his wife

And what about his car keys


----------



## MichaelI (Jan 30, 2016)

G.J. said:


> Yuk
> 
> Didnt you get the guts address from his wallet and have you informed his wife


No I haven't because I don't know him at all I don't even know if he's married.I only know that his name is Brandon and,as racist as it'll sound,I also know he's black.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MichaelI said:


> No I haven't because I don't know him at all I don't even know if he's married.I only know that his name is Brandon and,as racist as it'll sound,I also know he's black.


What happened to his clothing and his wallet, ID cards, etc?


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MichaelI said:


> No I haven't because I don't know him at all I don't even know if he's married.I only know that his name is Brandon and,as racist as it'll sound,I also know he's black.


It's not racist to notice that a black guy is black.


----------



## MichaelI (Jan 30, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> MichaelI said:
> 
> 
> > No I haven't because I don't know him at all I don't even know if he's married.I only know that his name is Brandon and,as racist as it'll sound,I also know he's black.
> ...


He took his clothes and got out


----------



## Welsh15 (Feb 24, 2014)

MichaelI said:


> Me and my wife have been married for 12 years now,together for 16.We don't have kids.
> 
> I never expected this from her.One day when I got home from work I walked in on her giving head to another man.Both she and the man were completely naked.He immediately ran out of the apartment,didn't even get dressed.It is safe to say that the situation was quite shocking and tumultuous.At first I remember being shocked and then angry,my anger prevailed,I forcefully lifted up my wife and literally slapped her around-something I'm not proud of.I demanded an explanation.She said that she did it out of boredom and negligence on my part.
> 
> ...


Mind movies of that reality for years? Sorry man. No one should have to endure that. No kids. Time to kick her to the curb.


----------



## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

You can forgive her and still divorce her skanky azz.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm with Gus and think your WW might be far more experienced at this than just blow job boy.

Get divorce papers drawn up and see what your legal options are.

You can try MC to see if there is anything worth salvaging but that is up to you.

Does your wife have an ethnic kink?

She didn't cheat because of neglect. She cheated in your home because she is a cheater.

So why was she caught?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Asley *******? You are an idiot if you don't divorce her. You have got a lot of troubles if you can live with this. As soon as she thinks you're on the hook again and her security isn't at risk, she'll be back at it. Black guy? Lol, she's been experimenting. They don't go for the black dude first. He's one of many. Just my thoughts....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

No.


----------



## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Maybe it is just me, but being caught in your home giving a strange dude a b.j.?

Did you come home unexpectedly? 

Did she want to get caught?

Yeah, if she is on AM this likely is not her first rodeo. Read @truster thread. He is divorcing his wayward wife after catching her cheating through that site.

I agree with @GusPolinski. There is more.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


----------



## Redactus (Nov 22, 2015)

If you don't mind an open relationship and get off on being a cuckold, stay with her (some guys do - whatever floats your boat). If you want a committed, dedicated spouse...well, sorry to say, it ain't her.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

MichaelI,

You really need to work on your story telling. I went back and read all of your other stories in your other troll accounts. The talent just is not there man.


----------



## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> MichaelI,
> 
> You really need to work on your story telling. I went back and read all of your other stories in your other troll accounts. The talent just is not there man.


Yeah, you would think they would at least take a creative writing course or something!


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

technovelist said:


> Yeah, you would think they would at least take a creative writing course or something!


I was wondering if a college freshman course had an assignment to write a story and post it on forums and see if anyone thought it was for real. Guess this guy flunked that assignment >


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Hell to the "No!" 

Have divorce papers drawn up and served on her skanky a$$ immediately! The sad fact of the matter is that she never loved nor respected you in the first place, and only got from you what she wanted simply by toying with your feelings!

Lose her like yesterday's news ~ and please get yourself immediately checked out for the presence of STD's!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I would have already been talking to my lawyer. It was not a spur of the moment thing that sometimes happens after too many drinks or feeling depressed and lonely. It takes time and money to set up an account on the well known website you mentioned that is designed specifically for cheating. I am sure that if she was in the mood to perform oral, you would not have objected so I do not buy her story. They all have stories when they get caught and it is never their fault. 

Yes I have been cheated on but I am not longer with those women. Once a cheater always a cheater and I just cannot see myself living with a woman that I have to walk on egg shells with in case she feels bad and decides that the best way to handle that is to perform oral sex in your own home. You do what you want but I have been cheated on and been the other man and every married women were serial cheaters, even the ones who got caught once before.

Ultimately it is your choice but I can see that she already has you blaming yourself. They are good at doing that. Yes I let that guy do whatever he wanted to me in our marital bed but it is your fault, not mine. Sorry but once a trust is broken, I can never trust that person again. It is your life though, so if you think that if you can be a better husband to stop her from doing what she did in your home, then give it a try. Yeah, I know I am cynical but in my 65 years I have seen things like this and they never end well. Good luck and my heart goes out to you. I just wanted to alert you to how those who cheat are good at shifting the blame to the hurt spouse. Then the good spouse, who is grasping at straws to avoid a messy divorce and alimony, will believe that the problem is them, not the cheating spouse and will cling to that as a reason to forgive. Been there, done that and got the emotional scars to show for it. Once again, good luck and if you choose to believe a proven liar and actively seeking men on a website for cheaters, that is your business. Just proceed with caution and recognise that she has you feeling that you drove her to it.

Past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior. This is a truth.


----------

