# Wife is giving me a "hall pass" or wild card BJ experience...



## David Carns (Jul 9, 2018)

Married 5 years, 2 kids and one on the way. My wife is pretty vanilla... I have a a little of a kinky side, nothing major but I wouldn't say vanilla. I enjoy going down on my wife, but my wife doesn't care to go down on me. Actually, she doesn't like it at all. The other day we were talking about fantasies and I brought up a threesome. She really wasn't on board at all because she doesn't know what she would do with the third person. She did say she would highly consider someone coming over and blowing me from time to time, she would be cool with it, as long as she is home and while she is in the same room. Has any other guy ever been given such a hall pass before? I am very turned on by this, but I don't even know how to proceed... let alone find another girl who would be willing to just come blow me once and awhile while my wife watches them! Any help/advise appreciated!


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Yep my advice. You are about to blow up your marriage. I'd stop while you have this nice little fantasy.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

I had a girlfriend that was interested in a threesome until about halfway through. She changed her mind.

Once it's done it can't be changed so be careful what you wish for.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Good luck...









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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

David Carns said:


> Married 5 years, 2 kids and one on the way. My wife is pretty vanilla... I have a a little of a kinky side, nothing major but I wouldn't say vanilla. I enjoy going down on my wife, but my wife doesn't care to go down on me. Actually, she doesn't like it at all. The other day we were talking about fantasies and I brought up a threesome. She really wasn't on board at all because she doesn't know what she would do with the third person. She did say she would highly consider someone coming over and blowing me from time to time, she would be cool with it, as long as she is home and while she is in the same room. Has any other guy ever been given such a hall pass before? I am very turned on by this, but I don't even know how to proceed... let alone find another girl who would be willing to just come blow me once and awhile while my wife watches them! Any help/advise appreciated!


Yeah. Don't.

Develop and cherish what you have.

Try some form of 69 with your wife. When she is building towards climax, she might just decide to do what she is supposed to with your joystick while it's so readily available.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

What could possibly go wrong there?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Terrible idea unless you want to break your vows and potentially break up your family. Concentrate on your wife and children and strengthening what you have. Bringing up a threesome is bad enough and very disrespectful towards your wife.
Just because she says you can do something doesn't mean that you have to go along with it. It will almost certainly end in tears if you go ahead sooner or later, your children's as well.


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

Your wife is pregnant with your child.
Yet you seem way more excited about another woman doing you.
There is a time and place for things, are you sure this is a good time to explore non monogamy?

What hall pass does your wife get in return?
Date with a guy whilst you babysit?

There are women who will fit in with your fantasy, you can find them online.
You say that you don't know how to proceed.
I would say proceed with caution and don't rush into this without doing your homework.
And don't assume it will turn out to be like the fantasy in your head.


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

I was offered a similar proposal from my wife, in short don't do it. It really takes you down a path to replace your wife. If your marriage is rock strong you will recover if there's a crack in it your done. Although it is exciting it opens up Pandora's box to trouble.

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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

This is a fool’s game and you’d be the fool if you think this will really happen. 

Are you a male Calvin Klein underwear model?

Are you a rock star, pro athlete or movie star?

Are you a multi gazzillionaire? 

If you answered no to those questions, then why do you think that some gal is going to come over to blow you while your pregnant wife watches and two little kids are in the other room?? 

Your wife knows this knows the chances of this actually happening are 1:462,926,204. 

And even you try to take this ball and run with it, she will become resentful and bitter and you’ll get less than what you are getting now. 

Now to be fair, this does happen in the world and I myself have had experience in the swinging lifestyle and have experienced what You have described. 

HOWEVER, in that world it is the WOMEN that have the kink and they are active participants and are the ones that finding the other women and are the ones that make it happen. 

Is your wife bisexual? Does she want to rub up against another woman herself? Does she have a voyuerism kink and fantasize about watching you with another woman? Would she have the giblets to find another woman willing to blow you while she watches and bring that woman home????


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

peterrabbit said:


> I was offered a similar proposal from my wife, in short don't do it.


Did you do it? If so, what happened? If not, why not? Your thought process or experience might be valuable to OP.


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## David Carns (Jul 9, 2018)

I


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## David Carns (Jul 9, 2018)

EveningThoughts said:


> Your wife is pregnant with your child.
> Yet you seem way more excited about another woman doing you.
> There is a time and place for things, are you sure this is a good time to explore non monogamy?
> 
> ...



Great advice.


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## David Carns (Jul 9, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> This is a fool’s game and you’d be the fool if you think this will really happen.
> 
> Are you a male Calvin Klein underwear model?
> 
> ...


She says she is not bisexual.... but I probably ought to share, when we was 15-21, she had a girlfriend. They lived with one another for over a year after college and dated for 6 years, sexually. After they lived with one another, it was then, she wanted a different lifestyle. It was her first love... but doesn't like the label "bisexual" so I don't bring it up often.


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## David Carns (Jul 9, 2018)

If this happens... it would be after baby #3 comes into play... so at-least 6-7 months.
We do have a solid relationship. She expresses to me, she has "some interest" in another girl going down on me, and watching.

And for those who mentioned---NO, the kids would not be home!


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Bringing someone else into the relationship, even in this fashion, is a recipe for disaster, it can only bring problems IMO. People say they're really fine with it, but they're not. They couldn't know until put in that position. But do whatever you want, it's a free country still...for now, lol.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

David Carns said:


> She says she is not bisexual.... but I probably ought to share, when we was 15-21, she had a girlfriend. They lived with one another for over a year after college and dated for 6 years, sexually. After they lived with one another, it was then, she wanted a different lifestyle. It was her first love... but doesn't like the label "bisexual" so I don't bring it up often.


She is bisexual. My concern is that she is merely tolerating your heterosexual relationship...for now. Don't sweep the bi part under the rug. It can be overwhelming to her. It has happened to several people I've known.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

peterrabbit said:


> I was offered a similar proposal from my wife, in short don't do it.


Why, what happened?


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Keep repeating Admiral Ackbar's words: "It's a trap!" Whether conscious or sub-conscious, this is a snare which many marriages do not survive. Do yourself a favor and do not do this. Wait til she has the baby. If you are up to your max in kids, then by all means, have a vasectomy. (Our sex lives went through the roof after I got it done, then middle age set in, then menopause...then holy crap. Our sex lives went through the roof again, and stayed there.) Get her to your level slowly and considerately. Try new techniques in bed. I sometimes liken adding a third person to a marriage to buying a used car. You are buying a whole new set of problems. Don't.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

It’s a terrible idea. The 0.00000001% that are successful at that stuff are coming at it from a WAY different angle than you and your wife.

I wish I were Italian so I could properly say Fuuuuggggeeetttt about it !


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

GC1234 said:


> Why, what happened?


I dabbled with it. The reality is it takes away from your relationship with your spouse. You start spending a lot of time building and enjoying the freshness of the new relationship depriving the one who loves you. If you spent the time with your wife you would spend on the other relationship the end results are way better. I was lucky. I came to my senses before it was too late. Don't go down the rabbit hole. Like someone else said, let it remain a fantasy.

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## Irish Man (May 10, 2021)

I can't believe you are even considering it. Put yourself in your wife's position. Do u think she really wants to watch another woman give you a BJ? Maybe she feels vulnerable, her hormones will be acting up, maybe she feels unattractive with having a bump. Could she possibly be agreeing to this against and really hates the idea. Maybe tell her you love her and that she is beautiful and you wouldn't want any intimacy with another woman. Some women just don't like giving oral sex. Be happy with what you have and think of how you can please her more


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

anchorwatch said:


> Good luck...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Freaking bravo!!!! Lol


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

David Carns said:


> She says she is not bisexual.... but I probably ought to share, when we was 15-21, she had a girlfriend. They lived with one another for over a year after college and dated for 6 years, sexually. After they lived with one another, it was then, she wanted a different lifestyle. It was her first love... but doesn't like the label "bisexual" so I don't bring it up often.


Ok so she is at at least bisexual if not an actual lesbian that happens to want her own biological children and a guy around to change the oil in the car and kill spiders around the house. 

So, she may be down for some kind of consensual non monogamy at some point. 

But she may also want to go back to women after she has her kids and have you pay for them and babysit them while SHE is the one that gets with other women.

She may throw you a bone and let you watch now and then and she may even be ok with getting a BJ now and then since she doesn’t want to do it herself.

I’ve known quite a couples like this during my years in swinging lifestyle.

At first the guys thought they struck a gold mine. But before too long all the got was the shaft. 

There’s a chance here she got with you to be breeding stock and ATM and now that she has her kids, you may find yourself in an actual dead bedroom situation while SHE gets with other women.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

peterrabbit said:


> I dabbled with it...I came to my senses before it was too late.


You're Trickle Truthing. What did you do?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

David Carns said:


> Married 5 years, 2 kids and one on the way. My wife is pretty vanilla... I have a a little of a kinky side, nothing major but I wouldn't say vanilla. I enjoy going down on my wife, but my wife doesn't care to go down on me. Actually, she doesn't like it at all. The other day we were talking about fantasies and I brought up a threesome. She really wasn't on board at all because she doesn't know what she would do with the third person. She did say she would highly consider someone coming over and blowing me from time to time, she would be cool with it, as long as she is home and while she is in the same room. Has any other guy ever been given such a hall pass before? I am very turned on by this, but I don't even know how to proceed... let alone find another girl who would be willing to just come blow me once and awhile while my wife watches them! Any help/advise appreciated!


Dude: how many times do we have to spelled it out for you: You are in a train wreck of a marriage. And you keep asking questions to which you pay no heed. Your wife most likely sees you as the dude she got to have children with, but most likely she's not into you at all. Other men or women yes, but you Let's see:
1. *When your spouse emotionally cheats on you with another person... for fourteen months having a emotional relationship with someone else via phone and texts... and she tells that person, "Marrying my husband is the biggest regret in life." *your own words.
*2. To top it off... I feel like (know) that she respects her F'n mother more than she respect me. *your own words.
*3. She makes about 3 to 4 times more than you, right?
4. She was for 6 years in a lesbian relationship and she never told you. You had to find out on your own.*

You are still being the passive beta male that you've been all along with your wife, with the exception that now you want third parties into your already unequal marriage. I think that now in your desperation want to play russian roulette with the marriage you have. Have it your way, but I assure you as soon as your wife have a taste of another or you give her the excuse with getting some blow jobs on the side, you'll see what she will do with that info. Good luck you will need it.


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

Sfort said:


> You're Trickle Truthing. What did you do?


I chatted with a couple women online. Nothing physical. One did turn into an emotional affair for me. 

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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Rob_1 said:


> 1. *When your spouse emotionally cheats on you with another person... for fourteen months having a emotional relationship with someone else via phone and texts... and she tells that person, "Marrying my husband is the biggest regret in life." *your own words.
> *2. To top it off... I feel like (know) that she respects her F'n mother more than she respect me. *your own words.
> *3. She makes about 3 to 4 times more than you, right?
> 4. She was for 6 years in a lesbian relationship and she never told you. You had to find out on your own.*


One of these days I simply have to learn to start looking back at prior threads.

@David Carns

You simply being used as breeding stock (assuming the kids actually are biologically yours. You may way to DNA test) and to pay for them. 

She’s not into you sexually. She just wanted your sperm and funding.

The reason she said you could get a BJ from someone else is she simply doesn’t care. 

And the reason you are so excited by the thought of this is you are so desperate for female attention you don’t care about or even notice the train wreck crashing all around you.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I agree. His wife totally doesn’t care. It realistically, is there a long line of blow job goris that will give these with one’s wife sitting in the room? Have I missed something?


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Is it possible, of course!!! But not for a guy who can't even get his own wife to blow him.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Al_Bundy said:


> Is it possible, of course!!! But not for a guy who can't even get his own wife to blow him.


Yeah, that is the crux here. She doesn’t want him sexually and any woman that she brings home is going to be for her. 

No other chick is going to want her leftovers or be her pinch hitter because she doesn’t want to do it.


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## AGoodFlogging (Dec 19, 2020)

Looking at your past posts this marriage is a total mess. I think you really need to think about what you are really going to achieve here. I'm guessing that she is going to want to do what she wants as well after agreeing to this kind of thing? With her history that is like a turkey voting for Christmas.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@David Carns How can I explain the situation you are in?


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## Irish Man (May 10, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> Yeah, that is the crux here. She doesn’t want him sexually and any woman that she brings home is going to be for her.


I don't think there was a suggestion she doesn't want him sexually. She doesn't was to give him a BJ. Loads of women don't like giving BJs, it is normal and understandable.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

David Carns said:


> Married 5 years, 2 kids and one on the way. My wife is pretty vanilla... I have a a little of a kinky side, nothing major but I wouldn't say vanilla. I enjoy going down on my wife, but my wife doesn't care to go down on me. Actually, she doesn't like it at all. The other day we were talking about fantasies and I brought up a threesome. She really wasn't on board at all because she doesn't know what she would do with the third person. She did say she would highly consider someone coming over and blowing me from time to time, she would be cool with it, as long as she is home and while she is in the same room. Has any other guy ever been given such a hall pass before? I am very turned on by this, but I don't even know how to proceed... let alone find another girl who would be willing to just come blow me once and awhile while my wife watches them! Any help/advise appreciated!


Prostitute. A lot of women don't enjoy giving BJ's.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Irish Man said:


> I don't think there was a suggestion she doesn't want him sexually. She doesn't was to give him a BJ. Loads of women don't like giving BJs, it is normal and understandable.


Look at the past history - LTRs with a woman, affair with another man, won’t do oral, offers him BJs from other women.. 

Yes there are are women out there that aren’t into oral with their husbands (a lot of them DO do oral with other guys, but that’s another topic). But do they say they can get BJs elsewhere???


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Irish Man said:


> I can't believe you are even considering it. Put yourself in your wife's position. Do u think she really wants to watch another woman give you a BJ? Maybe she feels vulnerable, her hormones will be acting up, maybe she feels unattractive with having a bump. Could she possibly be agreeing to this against and really hates the idea. Maybe tell her you love her and that she is beautiful and you wouldn't want any intimacy with another woman. Some women just don't like giving oral sex. Be happy with what you have and think of how you can please her more


She just wants to never have to do another one.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

FIVE years ago, you started a thread titled "Online Hall Pass." Now you want another "hall pass" but this time it's for a bj. Previously, it was for an EA. 

It boils down, quite simply, to this: Same ole' sh**, different day. Or, in your case, a different year. Sounds to me like the only solutions anyone is tossing around are non-solutions. 

JMO


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Yeah, that's what Bill Gates thought too.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Is there like a phone number or something that you call for husband that needs a blowjob his wife won’t give him? Ring ....Ring .....Ring ...”oh yes sir I will be right over to take care of that.” I should start a franchise called Blow and Go.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

If blowjobs were so damn important to you that you actually consider doing this, you absolutely should not have married your wife. You knew this in advance and chose to go forward anyway. It’s a recipe for disaster. Is a bj really important enough to potentially lose your marriage over?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

3Xnocharm said:


> If blowjobs were so damn important to you that you actually consider doing this, you absolutely should not have married your wife. You knew this in advance and chose to go forward anyway. It’s a recipe for disaster. Is a bj really important enough to potentially lose your marriage over?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


It’s already toast ... read his other threads.
Just to clarify I didn’t read his other post either... some one else made mention


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Eeyore thread?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I want the blowjob hotline number also


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Mr.Married said:


> Is there like a phone number or something that you call for husband that needs a blowjob his wife won’t give him? Ring ....Ring .....Ring ...”oh yes sir I will be right over to take care of that.” I should start a franchise called Blow and Go.


ROFL  

Hahahahahha


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Is there like a phone number or something that you call for husband that needs a blowjob his wife won’t give him? Ring ....Ring .....Ring ...”oh yes sir I will be right over to take care of that.” I should start a franchise called Blow and Go.


Don't know about a phone number, but it's probably available on Craig's List.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The naysayers have all come out already. I've had a hall pass/open marriage for 21 years, and it has been a VERY happy and successful marriage by any standard. We also have an active and diverse sex life, so our extramarital sex has just been for fun and variety. I've been able to have sex with anyone who also wants to have sex with me, with very few, very reasonable restrictions (the same for my wife). So this isn't necessarily a route to marital problems; it could be a path to happiness for both of you. It really depends on how sincere your wife is, how much she cares about your happiness and sexual fulfillment, and how well you handle it so as to not upset your wife (i.e., stay within her parameters).

That said, it probably won't be easy to find a woman who will be amenable to such an arrangement, but you can hire an escort if nothing else. There are many adult dating and swinger sites you can try to look for someone, but as I said, it won't be easy. If your wife finds someone it would be easier, as she'd be comfortable with choosing the person, and many even know someone she could ask.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)




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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Married but Happy said:


> The naysayers have all come out already. I've had a hall pass/open marriage for 21 years, and it has been a VERY happy and successful marriage by any standard. We also have an active and diverse sex life, so our extramarital sex has just been for fun and variety. I've been able to have sex with anyone who also wants to have sex with me, with very few, very reasonable restrictions (the same for my wife). So this isn't necessarily a route to marital problems; it could be a path to happiness for both of you. It really depends on how sincere your wife is, how much she cares about your happiness and sexual fulfillment, and how well you handle it so as to not upset your wife (i.e., stay within her parameters).
> 
> That said, it probably won't be easy to find a woman who will be amenable to such an arrangement, but you can hire an escort if nothing else. There are many adult dating and swinger sites you can try to look for someone, but as I said, it won't be easy. If your wife finds someone it would be easier, as she'd be comfortable with choosing the person, and many even know someone she could ask.


Not so fast !! Your married situation is nothing like his. You two were already doing well and looking to heat it up. This guy has a poop marriage and trying to fix something.

My wife and I aren’t into this stuff but it’s obvious the two situations are nothing alike... that doesn’t make me a nay say.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Not so fast !! Your married situation is nothing like his. You two were already doing well and looking to heat it up. This guy has a poop marriage and trying to fix something.
> 
> My wife and I aren’t into this stuff but it’s obvious the two situations are nothing alike... that doesn’t make me a nay say.


Agreed. And even with that, in the end the advice was "get a hooker".


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## Irish Man (May 10, 2021)

I have to admit I am a little surprised at the need for a BJ to be mandatory for a marriage and the retaliatory views of you don’t suck me so I won’t lick you. To me a marriage is far more complex than a simple sex act and the concept of love appears to be brushed over very quickly on here. 
My wife has given me a BJ, she has let me cum in her mouth and she has swallowed. However, it is clear she doesn’t enjoy it and only does it for my benefit. I felt a little guilty about this and one time we we having sex she went to suck me. I asked her not to as I felt she didn’t like it. She got really upset, lots of tears and feeling inadequate etc and we ended up just going to sleep. The next day we discussed it. I explained that I want us both to enjoy sex and a BJ isn’t everything and I would prefer her to enjoy sex too. I also made it really clear to her I don’t hold it against her. I really love giving her oral and I love the taste of her juices in my mouth and I continue to give her oral sex.

I now live in a blowjobless marriage. however, there was a huge and unintended positive consequence. With the ‘pressure off’ of her not thinking she has to do something she doesn’t like she has relaxed and our sex life has improved so much. We have much more sex and we now do things that I never thought she would ever do and I absolutely love our sex life and it totally makes up for not having a BJ. Most importantly, we are BOTH very happy and comfortable with our sex life and we are much more emotionally connected than ever


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

As most have already stated, this is a terrible horrible no good very bad idea.

1. If your wife refuses to blow you, she’s just not into you sexually. This is the truth 99% of the time. This is the truth in every case I’m aware of. Even if it’s not her favorite thing to do, if she is into you sexually, she will blow you regularly (and if not enthusiastically, at least willingly and non-begrudgingly).
And for the handful of bitter anti-blow job people who will probably chime in, sure maybe you’re the exception. OP, your wife is not the exception

2. If your wife agrees to a threesome or to let another woman blow you, she’s not into sexually and not in love with you.. This insight came directly from my wife when we were discussing the standard male fantasy of a threesome with 2 women. Her take (along with the I believe unanimous consensus among her female friends) is that a woman who is sexually into and actuality in love with her man (As opposed to simply loving him as her husband/father of children etc) has zero interest in ever sharing him with another woman.
And for the poly patrol who will no doubt chime in, yes there is a tiny, very small, few and far between group of people who are the exception. Congratulations. OP, your wife is not one of them.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Married but Happy said:


> The naysayers have all come out already. I've had a hall pass/open marriage for 21 years, and it has been a VERY happy and successful marriage by any standard. We also have an active and diverse sex life, so our extramarital sex has just been for fun and variety. I've been able to have sex with anyone who also wants to have sex with me, with very few, very reasonable restrictions (the same for my wife). So this isn't necessarily a route to marital problems; it could be a path to happiness for both of you. It really depends on how sincere your wife is, how much she cares about your happiness and sexual fulfillment, and how well you handle it so as to not upset your wife (i.e., stay within her parameters).
> 
> That said, it probably won't be easy to find a woman who will be amenable to such an arrangement, but you can hire an escort if nothing else. There are many adult dating and swinger sites you can try to look for someone, but as I said, it won't be easy. If your wife finds someone it would be easier, as she'd be comfortable with choosing the person, and many even know someone she could ask.


I spent 10 years very active in the swinging lifestyle so I do not consider myself a naysayer. 

Context and backdrop are everything. 

They have already had infidelity and her hiding her sexual orientation and her saying marrying him was the biggest mistake of her life. 

I have no moral or personal objections to consensual non monogamy and it worked very well for my wife and I as well as many couples we know personally. 

I have also seen many couples auger into the ground leaving nothing but a smoking hole full of wreckage. 

The difference between those where it worked and those resulting in destruction was the stability, respect, compassion and sexual compatibility of the individual couples prior to introducing 3rd party’s into the marital bed. 

The OP IMHO is also showing a degree of naïveté and denial that I believe could be leading him into the middle of a train wreck. 

I think he’s so excited about the possibility of maybe getting a BJ that he is turning a blind eye towards the Chinese parade of red flags all around him.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

DudeInProgress said:


> As most have already stated, this is a terrible horrible no good very bad idea.
> 
> 1. If your wife refuses to blow you, she’s just not into you sexually. This is the truth 99% of the time. This is the truth in every case I’m aware of. Even if it’s not her favorite thing to do, if she is into you sexually, she will blow you regularly (and if not enthusiastically, at least willingly and non-begrudgingly).
> And for the handful of bitter anti-blow job people who will probably chime in, sure maybe you’re the exception. OP, your wife is not the exception


I believe this to be true as well.

I can’t help but wonder how often and how enthusiastically she went down on her GF?

I’ve been with a couple women over the years who were not into oral..... turns out they weren’t into me in general and those relationships were very short lived and they faded away like a fart in the wind in a very short period of time.

Everyone else I have ever been with that were engaged and enthusiastic lovers, it was simply a normal and natural activity that was part and parcel of our sexual dynamics. 

I’m willing to bet a crisp, shiney dollar bill that she went down on her GF until she had to breathe through her ears.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

I guess OP didn’t dig what we had to tell him…


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Irish Man said:


> I have to admit I am a little surprised at the need for a BJ to be mandatory for a marriage and the retaliatory views of you don’t suck me so I won’t lick you. To me a marriage is far more complex than a simple sex act and the concept of love appears to be brushed over very quickly on here.
> My wife has given me a BJ, she has let me cum in her mouth and she has swallowed. However, it is clear she doesn’t enjoy it and only does it for my benefit. I felt a little guilty about this and one time we we having sex she went to suck me. I asked her not to as I felt she didn’t like it. She got really upset, lots of tears and feeling inadequate etc and we ended up just going to sleep. The next day we discussed it. I explained that I want us both to enjoy sex and a BJ isn’t everything and I would prefer her to enjoy sex too. I also made it really clear to her I don’t hold it against her. I really love giving her oral and I love the taste of her juices in my mouth and I continue to give her oral sex.
> 
> I now live in a blowjobless marriage. however, there was a huge and unintended positive consequence. With the ‘pressure off’ of her not thinking she has to do something she doesn’t like she has relaxed and our sex life has improved so much. We have much more sex and we now do things that I never thought she would ever do and I absolutely love our sex life and it totally makes up for not having a BJ. Most importantly, we are BOTH very happy and comfortable with our sex life and we are much more emotionally connected than ever


You are a very considerate man. It's true that if you keep expecting something sexual on a regular basis that the other partner is not into, the overall frequency of sex is going to dwindle. I think that is what happens a lot of times.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

You venture down this road and your marriage is done!!!! Make what is between you and your wife good, explore that way. Find what interests her, court her, enjoy her. There are so many things the two of you can do together.


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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

x


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Unknown2u said:


> It sounds like she is only telling you what you want to hear so that she can get you off or turn you on. Talking is one thing but acting upon it is a dangerous wager.
> Get a VR helmet and get the porn and have your wife give you bj's while you watch that porn in vr.


"my wife doesn't care to go down on me "


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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

That's not good  She would be willing to risk the relationship rather than doing you that solid? Maybe put some flavor on it?🍡 Will she go to the adult shop with you to get some kinky toys? Maybe even you can invest in one of those that feels like you are getting a BJ. There are lots of fun activities you guys can do. Would she be willing to blindfold you and tie you up? Anything? I hope she is at least willing to try new things and not immediately jump into passing you off to another woman. I would hate to see her get hit with reality while you are getting blown and then she loses her $#i+. I still recommend the vr (very very realistic) and toys for you especially if she is unwilling to try fun stuff. Maybe combine your toys with vr experience 🦴👀🥴


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Unknown2u said:


> That's not good  She would be willing to risk the relationship rather than doing you that solid? Maybe put some flavor on it?🍡 Will she go to the adult shop with you to get some kinky toys? Maybe even you can invest in one of those that feels like you are getting a BJ. There are lots of fun activities you guys can do. Would she be willing to blindfold you and tie you up? Anything? I hope she is at least willing to try new things and not immediately jump into passing you off to another woman. I would hate to see her get hit with reality while you are getting blown and then she loses her $#i+. I still recommend the vr (very very realistic) and toys for you especially if she is unwilling to try fun stuff. Maybe combine your toys with vr experience 🦴👀🥴


My comment was a quote from OP, so your solution will not work.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

FWIW my wife went from giving me a terrible half hearted attempt maybe 1x a year to porn star level mind blowing and all it took was her willingness to try a flavored condom sampler pack; well that and threatening to blow up our marriage. However let’s not undercut the importance of the jimmy hats.

Glyde organic flavored condoms. My wife recommends strawberry or vanilla but prefers strawberry.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

A BJ with a condom isn't a BJ mate.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> A BJ with a condom isn't a BJ mate.


Not for you maybe but it works for me.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Not for you maybe but it works for me.


Yeah, why the condom? Her request?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Sfort said:


> Yeah, why the condom? Her request?


Not exactly. She says she isn’t a fan of my fluids which I can’t really blame her for; so I’m like ok let’s get rid of them and see what happens.

Half hearted, very infrequent, and bad changed to porn star level and more often than I actually want by the time I blew through the first test 6 pack I bought.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Not exactly. She says she isn’t a fan of my fluids which I can’t really blame her for; so I’m like ok let’s get rid of them and see what happens.
> 
> Half hearted, very infrequent, and bad changed to porn star level and more often than I actually want by the time I blew through the first test 6 pack I bought.


Oh, so she's not a swallower. Understood.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Sfort said:


> Oh, so she's not a swallower. Understood.


Yeah I mean she tried it once and was like NOPE.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Yeah I mean she tried it once and was like NOPE.


It's not for everyone, like deep throating.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

EveningThoughts said:


> Your wife is pregnant with your child.
> Yet you seem way more excited about another woman doing you.
> There is a time and place for things, are you sure this is a good time to explore non monogamy?
> 
> ...


the danger is, your pregnant wife feels you are no longer turned on by her out of sorts body, and have to resort to other women. so she gets depressed. some stud picks up on this, hits on her, she see unicorns and shooting stars, and falls for that guy. 

you want to roll those sort of dice?

if you guys have to do it, have HER set it up, maybe with one of her own female friends that she can trust.


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## otomerican (May 27, 2021)

I'd wonder whether she's suggesting this to absolve a guilty conscience or obtain a hall pass of her own.


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

I can only say this won't end well. Buddy you've got a lot to lose.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Ca


David Carns said:


> Married 5 years, 2 kids and one on the way. My wife is pretty vanilla... I have a a little of a kinky side, nothing major but I wouldn't say vanilla. I enjoy going down on my wife, but my wife doesn't care to go down on me. Actually, she doesn't like it at all. The other day we were talking about fantasies and I brought up a threesome. She really wasn't on board at all because she doesn't know what she would do with the third person. She did say she would highly consider someone coming over and blowing me from time to time, she would be cool with it, as long as she is home and while she is in the same room. Has any other guy ever been given such a hall pass before? I am very turned on by this, but I don't even know how to proceed... let alone find another girl who would be willing to just come blow me once and awhile while my wife watches them! Any help/advise appreciated!
> [/QUOTE
> call her bluff


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

David Carns said:


> Married 5 years, 2 kids and one on the way. My wife is pretty vanilla... I have a a little of a kinky side, nothing major but I wouldn't say vanilla. I enjoy going down on my wife, but my wife doesn't care to go down on me. Actually, she doesn't like it at all. The other day we were talking about fantasies and I brought up a threesome. She really wasn't on board at all because she doesn't know what she would do with the third person. She did say she would highly consider someone coming over and blowing me from time to time, she would be cool with it, as long as she is home and while she is in the same room. Has any other guy ever been given such a hall pass before? I am very turned on by this, but I don't even know how to proceed... let alone find another girl who would be willing to just come blow me once and awhile while my wife watches them! Any help/advise appreciated!


Call her bluff. Prepare for her to not follow through.


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