# Has anybody Filed Divorce on Your Own Without a Lawyer?



## NY152 (10 mo ago)

I am considering filing for divorce since my husband will not end his affair. I’m in California and I read on the website I can file for divorce by myself without a lawyer. Does anyone have insight into this process? 

P.S. 
This is my last resort. 3 months after D-day. I have done everything to try and see if we could still save our marriage, but husband is closed off to any suggestions (working it out, marriage counseling; trial separation)


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

You can file yourself and as long as your husband doesn’t contest the divorce you should be ok. 
Has his parents been told that he’s cheating, I know that they live with you.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Law is complicated. Unless you have a background in it, there are nuances about filing deadlines, service of papers, wording & appearances that can be very complicated. The Courts are filled with do it yourself-ers who basically gum up the works & slow their own processes because they don't know the system. 

Being penny wise & pound foolish is not helpful


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I filed everything myself using a packet I was able to get from the local court. It's takes a bit of work, tax records, financial assets and valuation of martial assetts, home/cars/business, etc. 

One important thing is both parties need to agree 100% on what you present to the court on the day of your divorce hearing, any argument and you are out the door.

I would advise you to file ASAP, if he is wrapped up in an affair bubble now's the time to use that to your advantage. The court won't care that he is cheating but he may be more agreeable to negotiations so he can hurry things up and start his new life with his affair partner.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

I haven't been divorced, but recently a friend of mine divorced. She was so broke that we took up a collection to come up with the money for her to file. She did not have an attorney. They have a child together and were able to work all that out without an attorney. You can get information from the court on what you need to do. As long as you know what you're doing and you can get your cheater to agree, you should be fine. I agree that you should do this asap, if you want it to go smoothly, because he's in the affair fog and she will encourage him to just get it over with, so she can have him.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

If everyone is committed to a fair settlement and willing to act like adults only the most complicated divorces would _need_ a lawyer. 

For instance, my divorce involved splitting a 401k which meant that we had to file a QDRO (qualified domestic relations order), we had to do a quit claim deed to get her off of the house, and I had to refinance the house / mortgage in my name. My wife filed the petition and I went on a website that writes up legal documents and during the month free trial got the settlement paper formatted in legalese for the splitting of assets. We had to go to the DMV to get each other off of the title to the other's vehicle. None of this necessarily required a lawyer and the cost was measured in 10s of dollars except for the refinancing of the mortgage.


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## NY152 (10 mo ago)

Andy1001 said:


> You can file yourself and as long as your husband doesn’t contest the divorce you should be ok.
> Has his parents been told that he’s cheating, I know that they live with you.


Hi and thank you.
Yes his parents have been told. And they didn’t wanna talk to him. Only his sister has ever talked to him at length about it. And let him know that karma is a *****!


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## NY152 (10 mo ago)

But she also advised me not to decide to file right now. To wait it out. because we do have 3 kids.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Wait it out? What makes her think this won’t happen again?


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Nolo.com seems to have some good quality books, useful no matter which way you go.









Divorce & Child Custody - Nolo


Default Description




store.nolo.com


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

NY152 said:


> But she also advised me not to decide to file right now. To wait it out. because we do have 3 kids.


Stupid advice in my opinion. Blood is often thicker than water.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@NY152 I'd get an initial free consultation to see how things might go.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

NY152 said:


> But she also advised me not to decide to file right now. To wait it out. because we do have 3 kids.


Not in your best interest most likely…..


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Who is the main breadwinner?
Are you a stay at home mom?

in Lots of cases, the husband has to pay for the wife’s attorney


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

NY152 said:


> But she also advised me not to decide to file right now. To wait it out. because we do have 3 kids.


You make it sound like her advice is in your best interest, it's not. Divorce affects entire families, that includes in-laws and cousins, etc. Divorce will affect her brother, her parents, her relationship with your kids, it complicates holidays and family milestones.

She's just being selfish, she's not the one who's husband is banging some strange, she's not the one living a life of lies and betrayal. Not to mention the longer you put things off the more time your husband has to manipulate financials to his advantage, and you better believe it happens.


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## NY152 (10 mo ago)

I plan to file anyway.
I’m still transitioning/moving to my sister’s house with my kids. My sister will help me. I have a lot of family support there.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Wise move. Absolutely file now.


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