# "Your call is important to us"



## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

"Just not important enough to answer personally." 

The business community's equivalent of:

"I'm devoted to you-just not devoted enough not to cheat on you"
or

"I love you, and realize how much now that I've been caught cheating."

Ah, the two face world we reside in. The public face and mirror face.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

:scratchhead:


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Your vagina is important to us. Please wait in line for the next available orgasm.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I come from a family of "loud-thinkers". We'll have entire story-lines and schematic themes running through our heads and sometimes just a blip of that slips out of the mouth. It's usually just enough to give any listener the gist of what they're thinking but not the entire story. When that happens the complete thoughts in our heads aren't justly represented by the things that fly from our mouths... could this post be a written form of that?


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

I'm with Gus. Seriously, is this even a topic for CWI?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

The business equivalent of cake-eating in a relationship? Are you saying that you think the number of unfaithful spouses is influenced by the business world's attitude toward customers? Are you saying the business world is mirroring the attitude of the unfaithful? 

I think it's more a you can have it all type of attitude that is a reason for the seeming increase in unfaithful spouses. I think it's so easy to live today, for some, that some look for something to work for to make their lives more interesting. Sex will take a back seat to other things when life is tough and it takes more to survive. It's still there, but we rely on each other more and we are less apt to be unfaithful. Well, it's got a lot of holes, but it's my theory as to what is bothering you.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Its more an example of double-speak that we are immune to. The "your call" thing is merely an example. 

The reality is that the cheating cadre will emit the same such phrases when confronted, without realizing the nonsense implicit in their response.

ie: "I'm devoted to you" sounds fine, but if true, why stray?

"I love you" --again, sounds fine, but doesn't jibe with actions.

"I was stupid" ah, some form of culpability, but no explanation to commit adultery. Adultery is a symptom of stupidity? No. Low IQ is a symptom of stupidity. Adultery is a symptom of wanton selfishness, and disregard for one's spouse.

"I didn't mean to hurt you". Now this is so ridiculous I hope it needs no explanation.

"It had nothing to do with you" No, of course not. Another too ridiculous to explain, other than the implicit belief of the cheater that they are the only person of importance.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

So, this is basically the cheaters script thread redux. Gotcha.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Forest, you forgot to add, "Are you still harping on it"


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Yeah, pretty much all of those just say the same thing. I really didn't care about you at all. I just don't want to seem careless, cold, callous, calculating and selfish. Because, really, I'm not. I used to think it was sort of a cowardly way of getting out of a relationship. It's tougher to make a clean break and then rebuild, than to find another first. Everyone is different. There seem to be fewer who will make that clean break first. This is a site for problems in marriage, though. So, not sure it reflects the bigger picture out there. 

If no one knows what the real reasons were, no harm done. We should just move on. ETA: I'd finish that sentence, but lost my train of thought. Guess this thread is a little trigger.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Hall monitors.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Seems like there are those who long for honesty, commitment, and genuine integrity. I think, if you are ruminating about how you'd like the world to be different, your best chance to change anything is to be what you desire in others. Surround yourself with those of like mind and put those thoughts into practice. Just know that there is always going to be pain in any relationship. No one thinks exactly like anyone else. It may be the only solution is to do unto others before they do unto you. I haven't made that choice, but it has crossed my mind many times. Seems like those folks do better emotionally than those who hold to higher ideals. Again, we are on a site that may or may not represent the greater population.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Forest said:


> Its more an example of double-speak that we are immune to. The "your call" thing is merely an example.
> 
> The reality is that the cheating cadre will emit the same such phrases when confronted, without realizing the nonsense implicit in their response.
> 
> ...



I need space

I am so confused

It's not you, the problem is with me

I got 'lost' in the moment

It wasn't mental, it was only physical


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

So, the question begs: Who were you calling and how long were you on hold?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> Your vagina is important to us. Please wait in line for the next available orgasm.


I just spit coffee onto my keyboard!

:rofl:


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

There is a meme in social that addresses this crap, if it was a phone call that triggered you. It may help you. Here is the segment from ewetoob: How To Seinfeld a Telemarketer - YouTube


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Regret214 said:


> I'm with Gus. Seriously, is this even a topic for CWI?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





Regret214 said:


> So, this is basically the cheaters script thread redux. Gotcha.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





Regret214 said:


> So, the question begs: Who were you calling and how long were you on hold?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Are you now suddenly interested, or do you just want attention?


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Regret214 said:


> So, the question begs: Who were you calling and how long were you on hold?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah, I'm interested as well.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

For what it's worth my wife won't do business with any company that employs those tactics. She feels if she isn't important to them then they aren't important to her. Kind of like don't prioritize someone that considers you an option.

Hey, now that I type this I realize that my wife has strong "dealbreakers" and "divorces" those companies pretty damned quick. God I love her.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

Forest said:


> Are you now suddenly interested, or do you just want attention?


Oh. Does everyone who posts here want attention now?

I was merely perplexed by your attempt to draw being put on hold and infidelity in the same light by comparison. I thought it a little silly to be honest and over the top. This thread has already been started. It's called the cheaters script. So, who's the one looking for attention with an attempt to compare being put on hold to infidelity? LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Regret214 said:


> Oh. Does everyone who posts here want attention now?
> 
> I was merely perplexed by your attempt to draw being put on hold and infidelity in the same light by comparison. I thought it a little silly to be honest and over the top. This thread has already been started. It's called the cheaters script. So, who's the one looking for attention with an attempt to compare being put on hold to infidelity? LOL
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I sense a spat here


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Forest, I know you are angry and hurt deeply. Please don't go there with Regret. Although, in your mind, she may represent what hurt you, she did nothing to you and doesn't deserve the fallout from your anger. She hasn't owned any of it either. She is well past that person she was. Hang in there and vent. Just don't point it to one person in particular, unless it's your ex and it's truth.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

Forest said:


> Its more an example of double-speak that we are immune to. The "your call" thing is merely an example.
> 
> The reality is that the cheating cadre will emit the same such phrases when confronted, without realizing the nonsense implicit in their response.
> 
> ...


What do you expect them to say. The question is why you put up with it.

If you stood up to your WW like you do Regret or EI you may get someone.

The only person who can heal you is you. Start healing you.


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## Nostromo (Feb 8, 2014)

To the OP. 

I'm gonna do something revolutionary here, I'm gonna attempt to actually address the topic you started.:smthumbup:


There's a psychological theory on human behavior you may have heard of called 'cognitive dissonance', it's basically the idea that when a person holds two beliefs (about themselves for example) that contradict one another they only have three options. They can attempt to justify it so that they can live with themselves, they can flat out deny that there is any contradiction or they can actually acknowledge that there is a contradiction and that their original belief about themselves has been proven false by their own actions.

For example a wife might think of herself as a good wife/person and then she cheats on her husband at some point down the line. Well this is where the theory comes into place, she now has to do one of the three things described above. Now most people are obviously gonna go with the easiest possible option which is justification, as that is a little simpler than outright denial of what they already know to be true about themselves and much less uncomfortable than acknowledging their own contradictory beliefs/behaviors and thus having to make enormous internal changes. 

Now of course we all do this (justify our behavior) to some degree in our lives, usually it's about little things like eating a little too much cake at a party and then telling ourselves we'll work out later when we know that's not really gonna happen. However some people really take this whole thing to it's highest possible level and end up wreaking havoc on the lives of those around them due to their inability or unwillingness to take an honest look at themselves in the mirror.


Or then again this could all be just a whole bunch of psychological 'mumbo jumbo' and the person is just an awful human being.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

And to add more psycho mumbo-jumbo I have also experience several people in the business world engage in rampant compartmentalization (which is simply a way to lie to yourself without keeping yourself up at night). These business folks will annihilate a competitor without a second thought. They will ruin a business and someone's reputation, then go home and lecture their kids about how important it is to be kind to others. They tell themselves, its only business.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> And to add more psycho mumbo-jumbo I have also experience several people in the business world engage in rampant compartmentalization (which is simply a way to lie to yourself without keeping yourself up at night). These business folks will annihilate a competitor without a second thought. They will ruin a business and someone's reputation, then go home and lecture their kids about how important it is to be kind to others. They tell themselves, its only business.


These are the people you cannot trust without knowing the cost of anything they do. It all comes with a price. Usually, they are making out like bandits, or they aren't getting involved.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Regret214 said:


> Oh. Does everyone who posts here want attention now?
> 
> I was merely perplexed by your attempt to draw being put on hold and infidelity in the same light by comparison. I thought it a little silly to be honest and over the top. This thread has already been started. It's called the cheaters script. So, who's the one looking for attention with an attempt to compare being put on hold to infidelity? LOL
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Is it not obvious I was never talking about being put on hold?

Its about assuming people are so gullible you can bend and twist them to suit your needs. That some people believe that their intrinsic value is so great, others should naturally cater to them. This also happens to be exemplified in the corporate culture today, and is so evident by those robo-switchboards. It's a corollary.

Is than more easy to understand, now?

As to the attention issue, you repeatedly dismiss this topic as beneath your attention, yet keep returning. I can only wonder why.

I have, though, observed a certain recurring dynamic around here involving the need for attention, compliments, etc.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Nostromo said:


> To the OP.
> 
> I'm gonna do something revolutionary here, I'm gonna attempt to actually address the topic you started.:smthumbup:
> 
> ...





Pluto2 said:


> And to add more psycho mumbo-jumbo I have also experience several people in the business world engage in rampant compartmentalization (which is simply a way to lie to yourself without keeping yourself up at night). These business folks will annihilate a competitor without a second thought. They will ruin a business and someone's reputation, then go home and lecture their kids about how important it is to be kind to others. They tell themselves, its only business.



Ah, so great to see the thinking mind being used. Good points by both, and well presented.

Also alike are the lawyers that can stand in court and lie straight-faced into the eyes of a jury without remorse or a hint of responsibility. For many, it diverges from providing a competent defense, and veers into complicity and conspiracy.

The thread of self aggrandizement seems to run thru all.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

Forest said:


> Is it not obvious I was never talking about being put on hold?
> 
> *No. It wasn't.*
> 
> ...


I never said the topic was beneath me. I did state that I didn't think it was a good comparison. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't starting a thread all about getting attention? Tell me you weren't looking for like minds to chime in and confirm and compliment your correlation. Then, we can have an honest discussion about attention seeking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Oh dear Lord...


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Oh dear Lord...


It is Sunday! 

See ya's.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Oh dear Lord...


I've seen this played out before. Same script and same attitude. If I can't be adored I won't be ignored.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

Forest said:


> I've seen this played out before. Same script and same attitude. If I can't be adored I won't be ignored.


Forest, I'm sorry you're hurt. I didn't do that to you. I don't need adoration nor do I seek it. You need to grow. You need to heal. It's sad that you see her in everyone and treat them as such. You're doomed to a lifetime of misery of you don't help yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

So skipping over the spat because I just don't care....

There is a correlation between individual ethics and business ethics that fundamentally involves trust. Individuals often strive to achieve trust. When someone bestows you with trust it is a boost to your ego. When trust is given you give that individual more leeway with their words and actions-because of that trust-up until its violated.

The same is true of business. A company that works to acquire the trust of its customers, has a clear boost to its profits. The customers then give the company more leeway, either in the nature of its advertisements, or the quality of its product, or its personnel policies-until the customers discover a betrayal of trust.

The two concepts are really not that different, just applied on a broader spectrum.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Pluto2 said:


> So skipping over the spat because I just don't care....
> 
> There is a correlation between individual ethics and business ethics that fundamentally involves trust. Individuals often strive to achieve trust. When someone bestows you with trust it is a boost to your ego. When trust is given you give that individual more leeway with their words and actions-because of that trust-up until its violated.


Trust is a good indication of a healthy, reciprocal relationship. Bestowing trust upon someone is giving them very high respect, IMO. Its a clear signal that you believe in them. Further, I think it implies you are likely striving to be deserving of their trust. 

In marriage, when the "trusting" partner finds they have been deceived, its a bit of a double-whammy. "I thought we agreed on this".?

To get the the nitty-gritty, a good exercise would to be to ask: "what do you value most?"

You'd get some pat answer most of the time. "I value honesty", "I value integrity", "I value my family", "I value my spouse".

Fortunately, many that would answer so would be telling the truth. To ask a person engaged in infidelity would seem rather futile. What could they answer? "I value my wants"?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

sugarloaf - don't call us, we'll call you - YouTube


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