# husband lonely and hurting badly



## husband321 (Mar 10, 2011)

My wife who I love dearly is in a state of mass confusion and lost. She has taken a journey with out me and is on the road to move to texas while I sell our home. She is 44 and has suffered thro out her life ever since she was young. She was abused by a brother (without further details) which here parents did nothing except say it was her fault. Then she was indoctrinated by a religion that her mom was a pastor at, forced to go to church camp where she made friends and one of them a boy who her mom forbid her to be with which later now is a problem for me. her mom died about 4 years ago from cancer and she was there along side her watching her die. she pretty missed puberty because she married young and had kids, suffered a divorce, and was forced to act the way everybody wanted her to be growing up. She was never allowed to be Kelly, now she trying to find and sort out that happiness that she wants the way she wants to do but is very sorry for the sorrow that it creates for people around her especially me. Of course my life wasn't as rosy either and my attitude with her wasn't always right. I have never laid a hand on her, and have always been there for her when these things were going wrong in her life. She also by the way has lost a grandma/grandpa and god took care of her brother in nasty traffic accident years ago. She has endured a lot. This guy from her past has found her, and last year she went back east to visit a friend and he happened to be in the same town and they slept together. now on her way to Texas she hasn't decided yet if she will go to see him again or not. She keeps telling me that she is doing this for herself to try to find out where the happiness is and doing a lot of thinking. I am trying to not loose it but boy does my heart feel like exploding. I am willing to wait for her but I need help.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Has your wife or you ever been in counseling? This is a LOT to deal with alone.


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## husband321 (Mar 10, 2011)

she was seeing a counselor at where she used to work before she quit and started to do this


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I think all you can do is show her as much support and love as you can. She needs to find herself. Don't interrupt that, but I'm not sure how that works in your story.


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

I am assuming you were married when she slept with the other guy?

If so, problems or not, she can't leave you hanging while she figures out her feelings. It is unfait for you, and it likely destroys any trust in the marriage.


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## blackalice82 (Mar 11, 2011)

anx said:


> I think all you can do is show her as much support and love as you can. She needs to find herself. Don't interrupt that, but I'm not sure how that works in your story.


I totally agree with u.


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## Trooper (Oct 21, 2010)

I agree she has issues and needs support, but how much support is enough? Sounds like she slept with someone else and has now basically left him, at what point does support become being a doormat? It sounds like you are giving her support at the expense of yourself and your marriage. If she is committed to the marriage she should be trying to work out the issues with you, not by moving away. It sounds like you truly love her, but I think she may be taking advantage of your good nature and love.


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