# Penetrating the heart.



## quartz (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi folks

I was having an online discussion with a female who pointed out some very crucial considerations in a marriage. If you see my other posts you will see that I am impotent and have lacked intimacy in marriage as a direct result. This woman pointed out that a woman needs to be penetrated through the heart with kind words , being paid attention to , wined & dined etc.......beforew she will want to be penetrated physically. This may sound so obvious but we , especially men , seem to forget this and concentrate entirely on our physical gratification from our partners or the lack of it.

Yesterday when I followed this advice I was surprised to receive the warmth & affection from my wife that had been lacking for so long.

I felt that we made love with our hearts yesterday which in one way was even more pleasurable than physical sex. 

The woman also informed me that a man is ready for sex quite quickly whereas the woman has to be worked on for much longer with appropriate words & gestures.

Would you guys agree that it is all too easy to lose sight of this fact.

Ladies will you please add to this.

Many thanks.

Quartz.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

I agree most women want to be romanced before going at it, there are some who forgo the foreplay and just want it, though not the woman you probably don't want to marry, although somtimes that's good, but yes I also agree that working the connection first does feel more satisfying at least to me, but you also need HER to be receptive an giving.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

quartz said:


> If you see my other posts you will see that I am impotent and have lacked intimacy in marriage as a direct result. This woman pointed out that a woman needs to be penetrated through the heart with kind words , being paid attention to , wined & dined etc.......beforew she will want to be penetrated physically. This may sound so obvious but we , especially men , seem to forget this and concentrate entirely on our physical gratification from our partners or the lack of it.
> 
> Yesterday when I followed this advice I was surprised to receive the warmth & affection from my wife that had been lacking for so long.
> 
> ...


 I remember reading one of your threads & thinking "Darn, that lady is a very lucky woman-- as usually when this happens to the man, he is SO out of it, he is suffering so much himself - he cares little to take care of his wive's needs. 

 I then tried to think how I personally would feel if I was her, in her shoes. >>>> Thankful for one, but the nagging feeling that maybe he is just doing this to pacify me, to please me cause he knows "he should", to keep me happy. This would eat at me inside -the wondering. 

I know , for me personally, I would need much VERBAL reassurance that He wanted to be there, loving me, doing these thing to me, with me, for His pleasure as well as mine. I would probably have issues if he could not orgasm, but that is ME. 

I do feel that the Verbal reassurance, the kind words, a little light hearted flirting, attention in & out of the bedroom makes a WOOORRLLLDDD of difference , along with the pleasurable touching- of coarse. If I had to choose between one or the other, I would choosing TOUCHING , but Both is the Ultimate Heavenly way to be with your mate. 

SO glad to hear you have hit the jackpot, you did the right thing asking the ladies!


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