# How best to approach the topic? Help!



## angelicious (Jul 30, 2012)

Hey there, all.

This is my first post. My husband and I have some serious bedroom issues. His lack of desire is a big issue. We have sex about once a week, if that. When we do have sex, it's infrequent and short lived. I'm not satisfied. I can't imagine he's satisfied. He always wants to have sex in a certain position because he feels like he "lasts longer".

Obviously there is a problem. We have a diifcult time even talking about sex. I can't bring up the topic without him getting defensive and shutting down. This topic is going to have to be brought up. 

Any ideas/advice on the best way to go about this?
Any do's or don'ts?

Thank you in advance.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I'm guessing your husband is suffering from premature ejaculation issues? You stated in the OP that he likes one certain position because it allows him to last longer. Is sex very short overall when you do have it? My guess is the hubby is embarrassed over a lack of endurance and he doesn't know what to do about it. I'm guessing the attraction is there, but he feels he cannot satisfy you and then tries to avoid the situation at all costs.

Kegal exercises should help him improve endurance.


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## angelicious (Jul 30, 2012)

Sex is overall very short when we do have it. I will look into Kegal exercises for him.


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## MWD (Jul 16, 2012)

angelicious said:


> Sex is overall very short when we do have it. *I will look into Kegal exercises for him*.


And for yourself.

-MWD


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

angelicious said:


> Sex is overall very short when we do have it. I will look into Kegal exercises for him.


What's very short? HAs your sex life always been this way?


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## MauriceBoh (Jul 30, 2012)

I'm guessing the attraction is there


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Why is sex "short"? Do the two of you spend much time in foreplay? Is going for a second time an option; as in, could he recover quickly enough to continue again in a bit? The second time would often last longer, if he can perform.

The difficulty in communicating is more critical. Have you thought about some form of counseling so the two of you can work on effective communication? This doesn't have to be just about sexual topics, but in general.

C


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## angelicious (Jul 30, 2012)

Honestly, it truely varies. Lately, the sex has been shorter. He doesn't really seem interested in going a second time.

Sex decreased a lot when we gained a few pounds, now he's down a weight he's comfortable with. I've always been more in shape than him and I work in women's health. I do pelvic floor excercises regularly and I just never thought about it for men. 

But yes, the difficultly, in communication is more important. I know it's very difficult to talk about it for him. Counseling would be a good, but he's generally not a fan.


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