# Is this worth saving or should I give up



## veryannoyed1976 (Oct 26, 2012)

Hi all,

This is my post in the infidelity section.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/59275-long-drawn-out-saga.html

Currently very much in limbo. Just walking around in a daze. The other night my wife went out with the lady next door at 11.30pm. I was asleep in bed and the next door neighbour had been playing music. She asked my wife to go dancing with her. My wife then came into me and asked me if she could go. I said no. She went anyway. Didnt sleep all night, she came home next door at 1.40am. They talked to 4.00am when she came home. My wife said she talked about her abusive relationship with her ex husband who bashed her. My wife apparently told her i was the best thing that ever happenned to her and that she had been unfaithful to me, and i had major trust issues with her.

The next day i was basically hovering over her and just not good to be around. She told me i cant make her feel bad for going out, and that she had done nothing wrong.

She had told the neighbour that she had probably ruined the best thing she had ever had. My wife has been seeing a psychiatrist and is working on herself, her issues with her mother, and depression problems. She has been doing self help courses, and generally is better.

However i cant shake the negative feelings i have about her, and feel disgust with her, and what she has done. I feel the same about me and my inability to move on or seperate. I know i cant keep make her feeling bad forever, no matter how bad i am feeling.

Any thoughts.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

If you can't get over the infidelity, you need to step up, be decisive, and end the marriage. Have you considered this inability to be decisive as a factor in your wife's attraction to you?

She is trying and improving and you seem to care about your marriage. I did not see you mention couples counseling. These questions you are asking are for them and probably a bit complicated for a forum.

I did not read your old thread so feel free to disregard.


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## veryannoyed1976 (Oct 26, 2012)

Hoping for some more replies. Such a long post but you can read my link in the initial post.

Wife is working weeking with her psychiatrist and is on medication. She on a whole has been better. Intimacy is very seldom. Communication is lacking.

Really struggling about the whole thing.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

veryannoyed1976 said:


> Hi all,
> 
> This is my post in the infidelity section.
> 
> ...


Yep. Please refer to post #71 in your thread, long drawn out saga.


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## soulpotato (Jan 22, 2013)

veryannoyed1976 said:


> Hoping for some more replies. Such a long post but you can read my link in the initial post.
> 
> Wife is working weeking with her psychiatrist and is on medication. She on a whole has been better. Intimacy is very seldom. Communication is lacking.
> 
> Really struggling about the whole thing.


I think only you can answer if you think this is worth saving. It's great that there has been a lot of improvement. A lack of communication and intimacy can be quite enough to kill a relationship, though, even without the other issues.


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