# The Cheek



## BrokenMan (Nov 26, 2011)

There is an affair support website that I visit now and again to get an insight into the minds of these people (not for the faint hearted - full of triggers). I am amazed by the cheek of these people.

They constantly belittle their spouses. They whole-heartedly blame the BS for making them have affairs, and they are soooo sneaky and devious.

There is a section for what to do if you get caught, and in one post they talk about VARs etc. They are all like "How dare they..." One woman states that if her husband ever did that, she would leave straight away as it is an invasion of her privacy. 

They all want to leave their husbands or wives, but none have the guts to do it. And they laugh at the betrayed spouse who stays with their partner after D-Day.

Posting this just to vent really.

I've got to stop visiting that site, it makes my skin crawl and my blood boil.... these people are deluded.

Kind regards.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

I can't imagine reading a forum like that if I was actually a BS. Neither my wife or I have ever cheated on each other and I still cringe reading CWI posts.


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## BrokenMan (Nov 26, 2011)

My Dday#1 was in November, and Dday#2 was in January, and I can honestly say that the first time I was pointed to the website (courtesy of this forum), I was so shocked and upset, but since then it has become a weird curiosity of mine. How strange?


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

BrokenMan said:


> There is a section for what to do if you get caught, and in one post they talk about VARs etc. They are all like "How dare they..." One woman states that if her husband ever did that, she would leave straight away as it is an invasion of her privacy.


Take it as empty bragging, they never leave over that. If she was so bold she would have left her H already.

To me these sites are like secret pedo rings, I know they do exist but I'd rather avoid them for my own sanity.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

dont underestimate the mob mentality of those boards as well, they probably egg each other on


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

They should probably rename it "Toxic friend forum....we all agree with you here!"


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

Don't leave us hanging!

Which site are we talking about here?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

probably doc cool

dont link it as the mod there will see people from here are coming there


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## BrokenMan (Nov 26, 2011)

Yep, that's the one.

WARNING - Not for the faint hearted.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

The worst one was this woman who was nearly caught by her husband and she said she's going to "bang him silly" for the next few days so he thinks everything is Ok.... sad


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

They are like little kids over there. Let them post stuff, I just read a post about how one woman has a secret way to text her "MM". They are just giving us clues to catch them!!

Thanks dumb a** cheaters.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MainMan#6 (Apr 28, 2012)

I've seen that site. The worst I've seen was a women who didn't want any children by her husband because his genes weren't genetically superior. She has two children by two different men who are not her husband and her husband has no clue and neither men know they have a child by this women. She even justified it by saying it was biological and that all women felt that way but just go against it for some reason. Even the people there were a bit taken aback by her "deception".


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

MainMan#6 said:


> I've seen that site. The worst I've seen was a women who didn't want any children by her husband because his genes weren't genetically superior. She has two children by two different men who are not her husband and her husband has no clue and neither men know they have a child by this women. She even justified it by saying it was biological and that all women felt that way but just go against it for some reason. Even the people there were a bit taken aback by her "deception".


Yeah, I read that one. She's absolutely despicable.

I go there sometimes because I want to get a feel for the mindset of people who are in active affairs and unremorseful about it. And also to see what techniques they use to keep their affair secret. Looking into the minds of those cheaters explains the red flags we see as betrayed spouses; like the cell phone glued to their hands, the secret email accounts, the secret burner phones, the sexual withdrawal from their spouses, the denials, the trickle truth, etc.

One thread was about how often do they meet their affair partner for sex, and it's mind blowing. That's why I shake my head when a BS comes here and their WS admits to one time sex or something. One thing is for sure from reading over there: If they have the opportunity, they WILL have sex many, many times. The affair sex is THAT addictive.


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

wouldn't the husband be suspicious if his kid looks like the mailman?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

husbandfool said:


> wouldn't the husband be suspicious if his kid looks like the mailman?


iheartlife once said that she read that there are many instances where the children look like the father, but it turns out that they are not. Then there are those guys who turn a blind eye to what's going on and just assume the kid is theirs. 

But just ask hookares. He unknowingly raised two children that aren't his. He didn't suspect a thing until his WW told him.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

reading that stuff is fairly amusing, and fascinating in a twisted sort of way. It's like observing a freakish socio-science experiment or interviewing people with mental disorders. 

Kinda pictured myself standing outside the glass interviewing Hannibal Lector....


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

and they're just as scary too


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Scary on the inside too, so good at hiding the monster, lurking under the skin...


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

I think most of there types are pay for play sites, just like ****** *******. Housewives looking for an outlet for their fantasies don't advertise on those sites unless they are looking for some sort of remuneration beyond the physical bonding


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

No Ken, it's a support group. They justify their cheating to each other and relieve whatever guilt they may have by arguing themselves that "everyone's doing it".


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

In that forum one OM said the biggest turn on for his lover was swallowing his sperm and then kissing her husband as soon as she reaches home.

But fortunately many turned their face ageist that behavior


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Are those websites like blind leading the blind?


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> and they're just as scary too


Hannibal Lecherer: First principles, Pit. Simplicity. Read Doc Cool. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What do they do, these cheaters you seek? 
*Pit:* They betray spouses... 
Hannibal Lecherer: No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing they do? What needs do they serve by cheating? 
*Pit:* Anger, um, social acceptance, and, huh, sexual frustrations, sir... 
Hannibal Lecherer: No! They cheat. That is their nature. And how do we begin to cheat, Pit? Do we seek out people to cheat with? Make an effort to answer now. 
*Pit:* No. We just... 
Hannibal Lecherer: No. We begin by cheat with who we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over facebook page, Pit? And don't your eyes seek out the pages you want? 

Hannibal Lecherer: QUID PRO QUO PIT….

Hannibal Lecherer: I will listen now. After your twenties, you were married. You were thirty years old. You had a child and bought a house in Florida. And...? 
*Pit::* [tears begin forming in pit’s eyes] And one morning, I just got divorced. 
Hannibal Lecherer: No "just", Pit. What set off DDay? You discovered what? 
*Pit:* Early morning, still dark. 
Hannibal Lecherer: Then something woke you, didn't it? Was it a dream? What was it? 
*Pit:* I heard a strange noise. 
Hannibal Lecherer: What was it? 
*Pit:* It was... beeping. Some kind of beeping, from like my wife’s phone. 
Hannibal Lecherer: What did you do? 
*Pit: *I got out of bed. I crept up into the phone. I was so scared to look inside, but I had to. 
Hannibal Lecherer: And what did you see, Pit? What did you see? 
*Pit: *Texts. The OM was sexting. 
Hannibal Lecherer: They were sexting on the iphone? 
*Pit: *And they were facebooking. 

Hannibal Lecherer: Well, Pit - have the beeps stopped triggering you? 
Hannibal Lecherer: You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and hear the beeping of the texts. 
*Pit:* Yes. 
Hannibal Lecherer: And you think if you save other poor TAM posters, you could make them stop, don't you? You think if you help save marriages, you won't wake up in the dark ever again to that awful beeping of the texts. 
*Pit: *I don't know. I don't know. 


lol... slow day at work. :rofl:


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

Been doing a bit of reading on that site. Got to laugh at this one post. 


Re: lying to my spouse
by Anais Nin » June 2nd, 2012, 3:36 am
Halo 

You can't cheat without lying, it's part of the game. 

I once read on betrayed spouses board : You know when a cheater is lying ? - When his lips are moving. 

Sad, but quite true.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

I knew I shouldnt have read this thread. Human piles of garbage.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

hunter411 said:


> I knew I shouldnt have read this thread. Human piles of garbage.


Yeah, just seen another post about WW getting caught. How distraught she was for her AP. she feels so bad that she has to have NC with him but needs to talk to him about what he has told his wife. 

She feels so distraught for AP!!!! What about her husband and kids. Damn that "fog" sh*t has got to be something.

I am getting some hints though on how they hide things and how they are able to keep things from their husbands and wives. Although in my case I only suspect my W, these idiots are giving me clues on how they operate. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

What a truly awful site! Honestly, a support forum for WS. WTF is the world coming to?


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

snap said:


> No Ken, it's a support group. They justify their cheating to each other and relieve whatever guilt they may have by arguing themselves that "everyone's doing it".


Well that is just flat Azzzz sick!!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> One thing is for sure from reading over there: If they have the opportunity, they WILL have sex many, many times. The affair sex is THAT addictive.


C'mon, Mayhem. You know wives don't have affairs for the sex. WW's keep telling us that right here on TAM.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> lol... slow day at work. :rofl:


Yeah, but why am I crying instead of laughing


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

I'm probably wrong, but a part of me wants to believe that a group of people actively deceiving their spouses is also full of lies about their escapades. A lot of bravado masking pain (except for the true sociopaths--but there is no saving them, I'm afraid).


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

I like the site as it comforts me to see how lucky we are to be out of relationships with cheaters.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> dont underestimate the mob mentality of those boards as well, they probably egg each other on


Probably?

Dude, have you ever been there?

It`s a support forum exactly like CWI but geared to the exact opposite goal.

Those people are not operating on a full deck man..not at all.


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## slater (Feb 3, 2012)

I was kicked out. I started asking really obvious questions like;

Do you sleep well at night?
If it is so great why do you have to lie to everyone about it?
Are you proud of yourself?
Do you think your spouse is cheating too?
I bet your kids are proud of you?

you get the idea. Didn't take the mods long.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Looking at the posts there just makes me more certain that exposure to BS's family, WS's family, OW/OM's family, and all close friends is the best choice in terms of killing the affair and determining who WS will choose to fight for + filing immediately upon exposing + total 180. 

It makes me feel like such a loser for wishing my stbxh/wh might change one day. Reading this makes me want to change my name and disappear from any possibility of being found by stbxh/wh in a way I didn't before.


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

I think the folks on that site are more representative of the typical cheater. Folks like Sigma, et al , that we see on this site,TAM, are the exception, IMO.
It is good to see why that vast majority of relationships touched by infidelity are not salvageable. Most cheaters are simply not remorseful and are really flawed people(way more messed up thatn a typical person).


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> In that forum one OM said the biggest turn on for his lover was swallowing his sperm and then kissing her husband as soon as she reaches home.
> 
> But fortunately many turned their face ageist that behavior


i dont advocate violence, but there would be violence...


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

You wanna know how opposite they are from us

Our definition of IC, is Individual Counseling---Their definition of IC, is INTERCOURSE----is that opposite enuff for you.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

WTF?! This site is horrible!

Hey, I got an idea... I'm gonna mess with them

I'll take about two to three weeks to develop a back story as the most awful cheating WW on the planet and then post every few days about how suicidal I'm becoming and coping with drugs to avoid accepting responsibility for hurting my kids, H, MIL, family etc. If that doesn't work I'll turn the tables after a few weeks and have my loving H show up to save me from a physically abusive OM after a few unexplained broken bones. Ah, it's going to be awesome! 

I'll make it even better by embedding subliminal phrases into every paragraph to get the readers to question their affairs and experience pain with certain words. If I can describe the emotional feeling well enough I'm pretty sure I can entice them into a few gut wrenching plot twists. Don't question me on this I've done it before, but only used my gifts to help people recover from past trauma..... thinking of becoming an MC but not sure.

$5 says they kick me off in less than a month:smthumbup:


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Nsweet said:


> WTF?! This site is horrible!
> 
> Hey, I got an idea... I'm gonna mess with them
> 
> ...


My suggestion is keep off that site , no one likes a troll and as that site and others are read for comparison to BS posting elsewhere all you will do is interfer with the process . There is no gain to be made by doing what your proposing. Remember a few of them could easily do the same to us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

husbandfool said:


> wouldn't the husband be suspicious if his kid looks like the mailman?


Or develops a genetic condition that does not run in either family?

Of course, M/S Cheater's X-Ray and Tomographic Scanning eyes would never let THAT happen, would they?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> and they're just as scary too


Yeah, but Hannibal Lecter was a psychiatrist and... ummm.... Oh!


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Eli-Zor said:


> My suggestion is keep off that site , no one likes a troll and as that site and others are read for comparison to BS posting elsewhere all you will do is interfer with the process . There is no gain to be made by doing what your proposing. Remember a few of them could easily do the same to us.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Just wait and see.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Nsweet said:


> Just wait and see.


My advice? Don't. Please.

I used to mod on a board back in the day and someone (with good motives) did exactly what you suggested. It caused the most horrendous board wars that went on for weeks and caused admin a hell of a lot of trouble, wasted bandwidth, etc.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

jerry123 said:


> Yeah, just seen another post about WW getting caught. How distraught she was for her AP. she feels so bad that she has to have NC with him but needs to talk to him about what he has told his wife.
> 
> She feels so distraught for AP!!!! What about her husband and kids. Damn that "fog" sh*t has got to be something.
> 
> ...


This is a major reason why exposure of the OM/OW to their own friends and family and spouse is so effective. It hits the WS straight on.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Actually I think an even better troll story would be:

Started seeing OM, he got me into making porn films with his fraternity. The films are on the internet, but now they're getting popular and the kids in the frat are getting recognized and their powerful fathers are all lawyers and politicians and they are coming down hard on the OM and me. What do I do?

And the case is about to be blown wide open because the husband might have hired a PI because she saw someone following her to the frat last time she went there to make a film carrying her bag of film outfits.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Christ,never heard of that site,just got through checking it out.Disgusting,they cheer eachother on! Makes me sick,I hope they get what they deserve for bringing so much hurt to people and their familys.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

Trolling is childish, it's not going to change anyone's stance there. Waste of time and keystrokes.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

snap said:


> Trolling is childish, it's not going to change anyone's stance there. Waste of time and keystrokes.


:iagree::iagree:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

And they dribble on about how "Soooo sorry they are when their betrayed spouse was sobbing their eyes out."

Question: If one of the regulars there visited the site in a panic and had to say: "I just found my wife/husband's corpse! They killed themselves over my affair! The love of my life is dead, and it's all my fault!" How long would it be before their admin pulled the post?


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> And they dribble on about how "Soooo sorry they are when their betrayed spouse was sobbing their eyes out."
> 
> Question: If one of the regulars there visited the site in a panic and had to say: "I just found my wife/husband's corpse! They killed themselves over my affair! The love of my life is dead, and it's all my fault!" How long would it be before their admin pulled the post?


I honestly believe that many on that site would congratulate a cheater whose spouse commited suicide.
Also, there are just a ton of women cheaters there, pehraps the majority.


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> And they dribble on about how "Soooo sorry they are when their betrayed spouse was sobbing their eyes out."
> 
> Question: If one of the regulars there visited the site in a panic and had to say: "I just found my wife/husband's corpse! They killed themselves over my affair! The love of my life is dead, and it's all my fault!" How long would it be before their admin pulled the post?


It might become required reading....one less BS to worry about.They really are a bunch of sick puppies.


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## Zanna (May 10, 2012)

I made the mistake of reading the OW/OM forum on Love Shack too soon after D-day.

It made me so angry.

But when I was able to detach more, I went back and began reading again. Now on some level, I understand why my H's OW actually thought she was the victim on D-day and how these woman think.

It's truly frightening. They're broken people. Often self-absorbed, selfish and emotionally stunted. Some of them actually believe they were put in the MM's life to help him become a better man, to save him from his horrible wife. That they are the right woman for him and that his wife is a horrible evil shrew while he was the perfect H.

Others seem to have no respect for marriage or family or for other men or women. They want what they want, when they want it, regardless of who gets hurt even if it means innocent kids.

Others seemed shocked when the MM or MW actually goes back to their spouse and can't believe they were always second best. Or when their married lover cheats on them, they're surprised and feel slighted.

It's horrifying yet enlightening at the same time.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Zanna said:


> I made the mistake of reading the OW/OM forum on Love Shack too soon after D-day.
> 
> It made me so angry.
> 
> ...


One was upset when her AP continued having sex with his wife! 

Some of the others said: "Oh, don't worry, that's so his wife will not get suspicious!"

I thought: "No you dumb idiots! It's because he has no respect for either his wife or his AP! And he's probably getting more ferret with other, other women, too!"


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

The really scary thing is that these folks have the ability to procreate. We are in danger of devolving.
One OW on loveshack is trying to convince folks that she is in her medical residency. She is dumber than a rock.
One astute poster pointed out that in a post about a year earlier, she was preparing to take her MCAT, yet here she was claiming she was now a resident.
The guy that pointed this out was attacked by the mob of cheerleading OWs for challenging this moron.
I realize it does not take tremendous candlepower to handle the medical curriculm, but this woman would have had trouble.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

MattMatt, "ferret"?

There's a slang term I did not know


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

lamaga said:


> MattMatt, "ferret"?
> 
> There's a slang term I did not know


Ferrets have sharp teeth. Yikes! Turtling effect.


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## Zanna (May 10, 2012)

BigLiam said:


> The really scary thing is that these fokks have the ability to procreate. We are in danger of devolving.
> One OW on loveshack is trying to convince folks that she is in her medical residency. She is dumber than a rock.
> One astute poster pointed out that in a post about a year earlier, she was preparing to take her MCAT, yet here she was claiming she was now a resident.
> The guy that pointed this out was attacked by the mob of cheerleading OWs for challenging this moron.
> I realize it does not take tremendous candlepower to handle the medical curriculm, but this woman would have had trouble.



I'm convinced the OW's on that board all share one brain.

Although, the ones who get a little credit, are the ex-OW who realized how wrong and degrading it was to be an OW, how unfair the A was to the BS and the children of the marriage, and who "sort of" try to convince other OW to actually think about why they're setting for a married man. I only give them a little credit though because it took them getting dumped by the MM or discovering their MM had a couple OW's to come to this conclusion so they feel victimized and it's really just the MM who is horrible but at least they're trying...


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

I've never seen one OW on that site that felt sorry for having hurt others. They simply try to convince other OWs that it may be an unwise investment. Absolutely no thought given to the morality or the consequences to the other family.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lamaga said:


> MattMatt, "ferret"?
> 
> There's a slang term I did not know


Another fantastic old English countryside name for sex.

Making the beast with two backs is another.

Rumpy Pumpy. That's another.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BigLiam said:


> I've never seen one OW on that site that felt sorry for having hurt others. They simply try to convince other OWs that it may be an unwise investment. Absolutely no thought given to the morality or the consequences to the other family.


Now, in fairness (yeah, right) to them, I have seen such sympathy expressed. But they are entitled, don't you know, so their sympathy goes no further than: "Gee. I feel sorry. Wonder when we can get it on again?"


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## Zanna (May 10, 2012)

BigLiam said:


> I've never seen one OW on that site that felt sorry for having hurt others. They simply try to convince other OWs that it may be an unwise investment. Absolutely no thought given to the morality or the consequences to the other family.


Yes, exactly. Their reasons for convincing other OW's to let go of their MM's are entirely self-serving. At least those OW managed to find themselves a wee bit of self-esteem or self-respect which is why I said I "sort of" gave them some credit.

But trust me, not much.

However, if they can convince one silly trollop to stop messing with some kid's family, then at least they accomplished something. 

Don't worry, I'm not going over to the dark side.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Someone please send me a link to this site .... I'd like to give them some advice.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

The Middleman said:


> Someone please send me a link to this site .... I'd like to give them some advice.


We don't need a board war. Your advice would fall on deaf ears anyway. The whole reason boards like that exist is because they want to be in an affair and want to be with like-minded people.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The Middleman said:


> Someone please send me a link to this site .... I'd like to give them some advice.


You have some good, sensible advice to offer them? That's not what they want.

They want advice that will help them stay in La-La Pink-n-Fluffy Land. A place with no consequences, where their AP never gives them an STD to pass on to their trusting, loving spouse, a place where no children are hurt or harmed, a place where no spouse is ever hurt or destroyed by betrayal.


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## Paulination (Feb 6, 2012)

Just got back from checking that site out and what a group of depraved people they are.
Anyone notice the vast majority of posts there were by women?

One post I read was from a women getting ready to meet her potential affair partner for drinks and wanted some advice before she did. One response was "be honest". Choke on that hypocracy.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Paulination said:


> Just got back from checking that site out and what a group of depraved people they are.
> Anyone notice the vast majority of posts there were by women?
> 
> One post I read was from a women getting ready to meet her potential affair partner for drinks and wanted some advice before she did. One response was "be honest". Choke on that hypocracy.


Maybe it was a typo? Maybe she meant to say: "Be a ho, next?" 
:rofl:


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Just putting together a storyboard for my devious plan in my spare time today. 

You know come to think of it, I could just pretend to be my ex wife who left me a month after I got out of the Navy and divorced me in secrecy graduation day for the OM. The OM she left me for is an ugly bipolar pot smoking, alcoholic, emo little b!tch, rockstar wannabe who treats her like family like sh!t. Ah this thing practically writes it's self.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Our posts are visible too. don't start a board war


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> My advice? Don't. Please.
> 
> I used to mod on a board back in the day and someone (with good motives) did exactly what you suggested. It caused the most horrendous board wars that went on for weeks and caused admin a hell of a lot of trouble, wasted bandwidth, etc.


Sounds like an excellent reason to throw the evil ones for a loop. I simply don't see any downside.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

I'm also sure we have been trolled several times by these a$$holes.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> We don't need a board war. Your advice would fall on deaf ears anyway. The whole reason boards like that exist is because they want to be in an affair and want to be with like-minded people.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Funny thing is, the moderator on the site is herself a BS and talked about how broken she was after her husband's affair and how something in her died.....2 posts later she talks about how she's in an affair with a married man......


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

It really is an alternate universe over there, on that site. One feels almost as if one is reading posts from aliens(probably a disservice to aliens). 
The complete lack of empathy and morals is frightening. It is disturbing , to say the least, to see how utterly depraved some peole are. These are folks with no conscience whatsoever. They are a frightening bunch, ghoulish, vampier-like.
The whole site depresses me and scares me. I mean, how do people get like that? Seriously, I think my Xw would fit in, though.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

I went back and read through a couple stories with a more neutral outlook. I don't see a bunch of deviant betrayers in some grand scheme anymore, what I see is immature people living in a bubble of constant denial and fantasy. 

Following the victim-persecutor-rescuer triangle(Karpman) it's easier to place these people the the role of a delusional hero or victim who believes they are rescuing the MM/MH from a bad marriage or they themselves being saved. 

Though, the OP have no idea that the spouse they are having the affair with plays the helpless victim to the AP and provokes many of the arguments they complain about with the BS. For example, "Your husband yelled at you for coming home late?! What a jerk!.... There there poor girl, I'll never yell at you". You get my drift.

I liken a cheating spouse having the affair to a bratty teenager who sneaks out of the house to escape any responsibilities. Since most people bring their childhood into their relationships it only makes sense. In this case the teen believes they are being controlled by an overbearing parent and unjustly punished for their actions. 

The OM/OW is just a pawn who mirrors the values they seek and projects themselves as the perfect image they want to see. The AP will do everything they can to keep interest up by investing into the other relationship and seeding doubt so they can have them question their marriage and bash you.

After the clandestine affair is discovered or the marriage ends in divorce, I've noticed that WSs remind me of the hundreds of dead end job holders who graduated high school and left to become models, singers, actors,etc. The AP they left you for is their biggest fan.

What the cheaters on that site can't predict is the fallout of repressed emotions. Not only do they risk an extreme rebound but the delayed onset of emotions they repressed from the death of one relationship stacked on a breakup with the OP. If anything the WS is both their own persecutor and the victim. They're not all that different from children.

I apologize for the lengthy rant and hijacking this thread. I'm way too into this field of psych and find a couple new dynamic patterns everyday. I think I may have to gather these thoughts and publish a book:smthumbup:


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

That childlike quality is extremely unattractive.


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