# Help please: Separation, in-law drama, unforgiven EA, NC, door mat, now what?



## Anshaneta

Hello,
I am hoping to get some direction here.

I will be short as it is a very long story, one plagued with misunderstandings born from being form different countries, and having spent the last 10 yrs as a stay-home-parent. Background here is that I truly felt this boy was the one and I feel he felt the same too. He has never been one to open up but he always showed respect and love for me. 

He had an affair and I did not know how to cope. I pushed him away. We are separated now and I see where I failed him. He is not making attempts to speak or reconcile. I think he is justifying the affair and with my behaviour he sealed the deal. I did not fight for the self-respect the right way. I complained instead of being strong.


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## Anshaneta

Hello? anyone can help?


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## mrokay

I posted something about a cheating spouse in one of the more popular forums and got a lot of replies. You might want to try that. Unfortunately, I'm in no position to offer advice myself given my current situation.


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## Lostme

It is not your fault he cheated, he cheated because he wanted to do not ever blame yourself for this.

He is doing you a favor by not talking to you, unless you want to stay with a lying cheat.

You had every right to complain about the affair, I did more than complain I let them go. 

Cheaters rarely have remorse and blame their partner as the reason, when it reality they did it because they are selfish and only care about themselves. He is probably with another woman which is why he is not talking to you.

How long have you been separated? has he not wanted to see his child/ern ? Are you able to take care of yourself financially?


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## Diana7

Unless a cheater is remorseful and repentant then there is little hope for the marriage. Blaming you for his cheating is appalling.


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