# Guys how long after intercourse do you shower?



## Fancie217 (Jun 16, 2015)

I basically have 3 questions:
How high is your drive? How often do you eat your girl out? How long after intercourse do you shower? 

Basically I am wondering if the fact my husband showers right after sex could be the cause of his lower sex drive (besides the annoyance of the shower itself). I know semen gives off a bunch of chemicals and hormones and such, if the same is true for women's lubrication to men than maybe he is washing all the good stuff away too soon. 

The other part, I never really cared for it, my husband will do it, but in the same hormone theory, if that would increase his drive I can figure out how to include it.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Fancie217 said:


> I basically have 3 questions:
> How high is your drive? How often do you eat your girl out? How long after intercourse do you shower?


Drive - Very high, I would have it daily.
EOG - I do it a lot - I (not to toot my horn) am darn good at it and I figure the more precise I have, the better i get
shower - soon after - we use lube and I don't like how it feels on my body once it starts to dry.



Fancie217 said:


> Basically I am wondering if the fact my husband showers right after sex could be the cause of his lower sex drive (besides the annoyance of the shower itself). I know semen gives off a bunch of chemicals and hormones and such, if the same is true for women's lubrication to men than maybe he is washing all the good stuff away too soon.


Two major items affecting sex drive (1) stress (2) T LVLS have dropped significantly

Have him get his testosterone levels checked. He's not affecting anything by washing off.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

Fancie217 said:


> I basically have 3 questions:
> How high is your drive? How often do you eat your girl out? How long after intercourse do you shower?


1. Pretty high.

2. At least daily when we're together. Sometimes long and slow sometimes more "aggressively". She loves it and I love being able to do that for her.

3. Depends. If it's at night then probably the following morning as we kiss, cuddle then fall asleep together. If it's a nooner or an afternoon session then maybe together straight afterwards or the following day, depending how we feel. 

But getting out of bed straight afterwards and heading for the shower? Heck no. What a way to kill the mood and the closeness, it's almost insulting to your partner.



> Basically I am wondering if the fact my husband showers right after sex could be the cause of his lower sex drive (besides the annoyance of the shower itself). I know semen gives off a bunch of chemicals and hormones and such, if the same is true for women's lubrication to men than maybe he is washing all the good stuff away too soon.


Probably not. It is more likely a reflection of feeling that sex is dirty which could be a large reason for his LD.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I am moderate drive - optimal for me would probably every other day. My wife is low drive, probably prefers once or twice a month. We compromise on once or twice a week. 

I give her oral maybe half the times we are intimate. I'm always happy to do it, just sometimes we are doing other things. I do if she asks. 

After sex we usually cuddle in bed for a while - can be minutes to over an hour, no set pattern. Then get showers.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

You're supposed to shower?






jk


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

have no idea what constitutes high drive , so just say I am average which means there are peaks and valleys of drive that even out over all to "average"

oral, I enjoy giving but my wife finds it extremely ticklish so, even though the end result is gratifying, getting there drives her insane so the frequency is less by her request, though I must admit I find it extremely sexy when a woman is simultaneously deeply aroused and moaning in that turned on way and at the same time thrashing around and giggling because it tickles so much.

on showering, it is not something I've ever thought much about. If it is at night, usually don't shower but snuggle and sleep. If in the morning or during the day when we will both be up and about later doing stuff, then shower before dressing but hardly ever immediately after the act unless pressed for time. However, could be your hubby has a thing with cleanliness. Does he wash his hands frequently and engage in other similar behaviors?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I only shower once a month and never after sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Fancie217 said:


> I basically have 3 questions:
> How high is your drive? How often do you eat your girl out? How long after intercourse do you shower?


1. Sex 3 - 5 times per week.
2. About 1/2 the time.
3. Shower or wash "there" about 30 minutes later

Like others have said, I don't think the showering is related to his sex drive.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> I only shower once a month and never after sex.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


what about the three baths you take every day? :wink2:


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## sgreenberg (Jul 9, 2013)

Fancie217 said:


> Basically I am wondering if the fact my husband showers right after sex could be the cause of his lower sex drive (besides the annoyance of the shower itself). I know semen gives off a bunch of chemicals and hormones and such, if the same is true for women's lubrication to men than maybe he is washing all the good stuff away too soon.


I think most of the replies are missing the point. As far as I know, there is nothing about contact with a woman's lubrication that causes any significant increase in a man's sex drive. 

The opposite, i.e. woman's contact with semen, does supposedly have this effect. The reason, as I understand it, is that testosterone is a key hormone, in both men and women, that can increase sex drive. While T can supposedly be passed from a man to woman via semen contact, I can't image that a woman's equivalent (estrogen) or for that matter her much smaller amount of testosterone can be passed or would have any impact on a man's sex drive. No amount of holding off his shower is going to change that.

That said, it sounds like the real root of the problem is the husband's lack of drive and perhaps his lack of willingness to eat out his wife (and overall part of pleasing her sexually). The insights of how long men on this forum wait to shower after sex isn't going to address either of these.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Shower on Saturdays whether I need it or not. 

Anyway...
Middle drive
Eat my W out every time
usually sex at night. We tidy up, sleep and shower in the morning.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Interested to see a study on this.

I actually never shower after sex. I often shower before.

I am usually ready to rock Mrs. Conan's booty again about a half hour afterwards.

I'm pretty HD however.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

sgreenberg said:


> I think most of the replies are missing the point. As far as I know, there is nothing about contact with a woman's lubrication that causes any significant increase in a man's sex drive.
> 
> The opposite, i.e. woman's contact with semen, does supposedly have this effect. The reason, as I understand it, is that testosterone is a key hormone, in both men and women, that can increase sex drive. While T can supposedly be passed from a man to woman via semen contact, I can't image that a woman's equivalent (estrogen) or for that matter her much smaller amount of testosterone can be passed or would have any impact on a man's sex drive. No amount of holding off his shower is going to change that.
> 
> That said, it sounds like the real root of the problem is the husband's lack of drive and perhaps his lack of willingness to eat out his wife (and overall part of pleasing her sexually). The insights of how long men on this forum wait to shower after sex isn't going to address either of these.


I'm not aware of any documented causal relationship between sex drive and either oral sex or washing up after sex. 

There are many of both genders who have plenty of sexual activity but dislike giving or receiving oral sex. This can cause problems in the bedroom if the number of threads on the forum about one partner or the other lamenting the fact they aren't getting any oral and really want it. But one can have a high sex drive and never engage in oral.

The showering right after as several have suggested may not be directly related to sex drive; however, it could be indicative of negative feelings the person has concerning sexual contact. This could be related to sex drive but would need other exhibited behaviors to confirm that theory. For instance is there teeth brushing after prolonged kissing? Does he engage in much stimulation of her using his fingers or avoid that or excessively wash hands.

On the other hand, is cleanliness an ongoing concern for him outside of sexual intimacy? For instance does he wash or bath excessively? My step dad never made it through a meal without getting up to wash his hands a couple times. He had a real thing about cleanliness. I don't know if it transferred to the bedroom. The point being, the showering right after may be symptomatic of a cleanliness preoccupation not related to sex. or it could be connected. As i said, more information is needed in order to really make any correlation.

I sympathize with the wife. It appears she is frustrated and trying to make sense of things. The focus on the items mentioned may not be the key.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

interesting poll (unofficial)
My drive is consistant at every 36 hours regardless of T levels.
Perform oral every chance I get which is not nearly enough, in fact monthly would be a close approximation.
Shower after sex, Only if we are mgoing together. I wouldn't leave her in bed to shower. Due to some schedule problems we sometimes have to sleep alone in the afterglow. 

OK about the hormone / phermone thing. I'm a solid believer in it. I would go as far as to say it is a love language to me as poweful as touch is to her. But sex is not the only source of those. Just being in the same house affects me. Her armpits are as good as her juices. Yes it still (after 25 years) freaks her a bit when I take a big breath of her.
MN


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

I'm a female sex hound so I try not to shower after sex for as long as possible due to the mating tactics of my species.

I just roll around in the sex goo and let it dry....then when I'm ready for round two, I don't have to worry about him smelling me coming when I jump him from the hallway.

I'm half joking but in all seriousness, showering right after sex kind of ruins the mood in my opinion.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Fancie217 said:


> Basically I am wondering if the fact my husband showers right after sex could be the cause of his lower sex drive (besides the annoyance of the shower itself). I know semen gives off a bunch of chemicals and hormones and such, if the same is true for women's lubrication to men than maybe he is washing all the good stuff away too soon.


Actually an interesting question! 

Generally speaking we always shower before sex and I tend to pass out afterwards. While I doubt your husband showering right afterwards will have any negative effect, the gesture that lovemaking might make him feel unclean seems very odd and perhaps your instincts are indeed queuing you into something that needs attention...

Anecdotally I will admit something a bit funny and awkward to further your research. When my wife and I are intimate, I often use a pillow under her hips for optimizing our positions. Afterwards that is the pillow I'll end up sleeping with by coincidence. According to your theory, that would likely make me into an animal with an insatiable drive.... :surprise:

OMG, you must do unmentionable things to your husband's bath towels! Cover them with your scent and then fold them neatly in the closet. This way your husband will bathe himself in your scents after washing and go about his day immersed in your pheromones! 

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Fancie217 said:


> I basically have 3 questions:
> How high is your drive? How often do you eat your girl out? How long after intercourse do you shower?


 answering for my Husband...

*1*. I wouldn't say he is high drive at his age -but he loves sex... he likes to work it up... 4 to 5 times a week.

*2.* going down - not every time.. but maybe every other. 

*3*. We are more apt to get the shower BEFORE.. not after... unless it's early morning, he's raring to go... I'm going to take advantage ... (we just clean ourselves up afterwards - at night , once he blows.. he's :sleeping:...I just clean him up ...




> Basically I am wondering if the fact my husband showers right after sex could be the cause of his lower sex drive (besides the annoyance of the shower itself). I know semen gives off a bunch of chemicals and hormones and such, if the same is true for women's lubrication to men than maybe he is washing all the good stuff away too soon.


 I never thought about these things.. we always lay there in the afterglow right after ...sometimes a little longer, sometimes we wash up & go back to it....well unless he falls asleep on me!...He'll say I stole all his Test.. then he's out! 

So you are wanting to UP his sex drive >> How to Increase Testosterone Levels Naturally


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

My LD ex would shower after sex. I think it was because is he is not a sexually comfortable person.

As for your questions: we have sex at least daily, oral daily, we don't shower after night time sex. We do shower after morning sex. If it is day time sex I shower afterwards, just a quick one so I feel clean in my clothing, he doesn't always shower after daytime sex.


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## Fancie217 (Jun 16, 2015)

Yeah, probably right. It isn't really about sex, it's about the shower and the cleanliness. If we could just do it and go to bed, it wouldn't be as much of an issue. He does kinda have a body fluid thing (no sharing drinks, and we don't kiss much, he doesn't like any kinda saliva exchange.) He doesn't shower after blows, or if he beats off or whatnot (unless I get his stuff on him, which seems to irritate him). I don't think he did after when we used condoms, but I can't remember if he did when we did the pull out thing. If anything drips on the bed I have to change the sheets, he kinda makes it into a bigger ordeal than it really needs to be sometimes. 

Maybe I can work on keeping him in bed a little longer after or something. I will figure it out. Our marriage isn't anything near sexless, but the rejection hurts a bit sometimes. It's nice to feel more wanted. (maybe baby wipes by the bed or something)

Thanks for your answers, I knew it wasn't as normal as he seems to think it is.


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## Fancie217 (Jun 16, 2015)

Maneo said:


> For instance is there teeth brushing after prolonged kissing?


No, but there really isn't any kissing.



Maneo said:


> Does he engage in much stimulation of her using his fingers or avoid that or excessively wash hands.


Sexwise, he doesn't really do much very often to "dirty his fingers" Otherwise not really, he isn't an excessive hand washer.



Maneo said:


> On the other hand, is cleanliness an ongoing concern for him outside of sexual intimacy? For instance does he wash or bath excessively?


No, not really. He does get irritated pretty quick about a messy house thou

P.S. Not being eaten out doesn't bother me, I was just going to push it if I thought it would help, but doesn't really sound like it would.


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## Fancie217 (Jun 16, 2015)

badsanta said:


> Actually an interesting question!
> 
> Generally speaking we always shower before sex and I tend to pass out afterwards. While I doubt your husband showering right afterwards will have any negative effect, the gesture that lovemaking might make him feel unclean seems very odd and perhaps your instincts are indeed queuing you into something that needs attention...
> 
> ...


lol, I try to do that with perfume, lol, spray his pillow with it sometimes when I make the bed.


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## Fancie217 (Jun 16, 2015)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I never thought about these things.. we always lay there in the afterglow right after ..


I know I enjoy it he seems to get irritated that I don't wash up right away, but it feels good. I was kinda hoping maybe it would be the same way with him. Like with a girl, that maybe there is an unexplainable "high" that he was missing out on. I don't doubt that there hasn't been studies on it, but it wouldn't necessarily have to be testosterone, but maybe a good oxitoson (sorry I am not going to look up the selling) hit.



Anyway, again, thanks everyone for your input.


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## Fancie217 (Jun 16, 2015)

badsanta said:


> OMG, you must do unmentionable things to your husband's bath towels! Cover them with your scent and then fold them neatly in the closet. This way your husband will bathe himself in your scents after washing and go about his day immersed in your pheromones!
> 
> Cheers,
> Badsanta


Ok, haven't been on in a while, because your idea worked. Thanks =)


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Fancie217 said:


> I basically have 3 questions:
> How high is your drive? How often do you eat your girl out? How long after intercourse do you shower?
> 
> Basically I am wondering if the fact my husband showers right after sex could be the cause of his lower sex drive (besides the annoyance of the shower itself). I know semen gives off a bunch of chemicals and hormones and such, if the same is true for women's lubrication to men than maybe he is washing all the good stuff away too soon.
> ...



(01) I have always been high sex drive HD adventurous as far back as I can remember. That means I love oils, toys, any position and multiple times a day even. Every day is no problem either.

(02) I would give oral on Mrs.CuddleBug every day if she wanted it. If I can orgasm, so should she.

(03) If I'm not going out or we had sex late at night, no shower at all. If I'm going to grocery shop, do errands or we go out, I shower after sex.


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

Fancie217 said:


> I basically have 3 questions:
> How high is your drive? How often do you eat your girl out? How long after intercourse do you shower?


1. Very low.
2. Never have.
3. About 5 minutes, but it doesn't really matter what I was doing beforehand. I've always only spent about 5 minutes in the shower.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Fancie217 said:


> I basically have 3 questions:
> How high is your drive?


Insane. Off the charts high. My wife has responsive desire and for the first five years and the last three I never get turned down. Daily plus is the norm.



> How often do you eat your girl out?


I'm an addict. Every time we have sex, plus an occasional solo act thrown in. 



> How long after intercourse do you shower?


I don't connect the two. I shower before work, and I often swim after work so I shower a lot. But it's not uncommon to have a quikie and go to work.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*In my married state, (1) sex some 2-3 times a week (2) oral on her some 2/3 of the time, and (3) almost always shower the very next day, and usually together!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Fancie217 said:


> I basically have 3 questions:
> How high is your drive? How often do you eat your girl out? How long after intercourse do you shower?
> 
> ...The other part, I never really cared for it, my husband will do it, but in the same hormone theory, if that would increase his drive I can figure out how to include it.


(1) Higher than that of my wife.
(2) I would love to, but she thinks it is repulsive and won't let me.
(3) If sex at night, then shower the next morning, if sex in the morning shortly afterwards. I really think that his showering is more about how he views sex and bodily fluids than about his libido, but the two libido and views on sex could be connected.

As to HRT for men.... Low T is being oversold to far too many men. One of the dirty little secrets about male Testosterone Replacement Therapy is that a man's body has a control system that will try to maintain a pre-set Testosterone level. So if you pump him full of T, the body will shut down the testicles so as to lower the T level. After a while, the testicles will just shrink in size and not be able to start back up if the HRT is stopped. So for men, starting HRT is mostly a life-long commitment. 

If you H needs HRT for low T, is willing to take the medical risks or has other medical risks that make it a good life long choice, then by all means he should do it. But don't pressure him, and help him fully explore the risks to make up his own mind.

Good luck.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Shower after sex? Are you kidding me? I want to smell my hot, sexy, gorgeous wife on me as long as I can! That's what I'm talkin' about! >


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I usually fall asleep on the wet spot....And wake up in the morning with her scent in my mustache...Then shower...TMI?


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