# Wife left me 3 months prego.



## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

I'm really confused at what to do and if I should have hope she will come back. 

Here is my story
about a month and a half ago we started to fight about everything from cleaning to spending free time apart but I was just like it's not that bad she is just hormonal from the baby. one day I was at work trying to be myself and nice and she was really cold so i come home from working 10 hrs and checked on her before starting on cleaning the house and taking out the trash, later that night I went to go to bed and the bedroom door was locked and I got upset and knocked till she opened the door. She said I thought you left the house upset and I told her I had just taking out the trash. she walked away and went back to sleep but I was upset and said no tell me why all day u had been acting so hurtful but she would not talk so I turned the light on and she pulled the blanket over her head and still would not talk, by then I was mad and I know this was wrong but I pulled the blanket off the bed and said why u treating me like crap tell she got up and started getting dressed and packed at small bag to stay at her parents. she would not text me and had her dad call me and tell me off that week but a few days she said it would only be that weekend. I texted her trying to work things out and finally said ok I'll give u the space and spend time with my old friend that sunday on my day off but when I got home that night half her stuff was gone so I called and texted to find out what had happened both got nothing back till that morning from her dad telling me how could I go out with a ex girlfriend when u two our fight and she is going to live with them and it maybe over. I was like this was my bestfriend i had never dated and she knew this. we did not talk much for a few days till I tried everything to get ahold of her to see if I could go to the doctor and finally again her dad called me to stay away from her and later she called to say its over. so i gave her space and finally Saturday she said yes to dinner where we talked out everything and were fine and were taking it slow. the next day she was really sick from the baby so we did not talk much and monday she wanted to come over but was too busy at work and asked me to meet her at the doctor the next day. I got there and sat next to her and knew she was mad already so I took it slow and asked her how she was and then she went off on me telling why can't i leave her alone. i moved away to leave her be and focused on the baby and went in with her to see the doctor but when were alone she said I wanted you to wait outside and I said why I want to hear about the baby too so she said will talk about this when we get out. when she made her next appt she made it later so I could not make it and we walked outside where she said it's over and wanted a divorce. a few days later she told me she was coming for her stuff and to deal with it and just a few days ago with her family came and got everything of hers from out place and mailed me her keys. She paid for our car insur and told the doctor to keep me updated on the baby after the visits but we have not talked in 2 weeks now and I'm giving up hope this is just hormones and she could really want out.


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

Dove 83 so sorry to hear all of this. How sad for you at a time when you should be involved with your wife and baby.

My first thoughts are why are her parents not communicating with you, is there something she is telling them but not you? Are they giving any more hints at all?


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

At first I tried and tried to talk to her but she would never talk to me so I called her family and at first they were nice and wanted us to work it out but now they have become against it and helped her move out and I don't understand why or even how things have become so bad. we have not had any real fight to have her move everything out and stop talking to me and have her family so upset with me.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Dove83 said:


> I'm really confused at what to do and if I should have hope she will come back.
> 
> Here is my story
> about a month and a half ago we started to fight about everything from cleaning to spending free time apart but I was just like it's not that bad she is just hormonal from the baby. one day I was at work trying to be myself and nice and she was really cold so i come home from working 10 hrs and checked on her before starting on cleaning the house and taking out the trash, later that night I went to go to bed and the bedroom door was locked and I got upset and knocked till she opened the door. She said I thought you left the house upset and I told her I had just taking out the trash. she walked away and went back to sleep but I was upset and said no tell me why all day u had been acting so hurtful but she would not talk so I turned the light on and she pulled the blanket over her head and still would not talk, by then I was mad and I know this was wrong but I pulled the blanket off the bed and said why u treating me like crap tell she got up and started getting dressed and packed at small bag to stay at her parents. she would not text me and had her dad call me and tell me off that week but a few days she said it would only be that weekend. I texted her trying to work things out and finally said ok I'll give u the space and spend time with my old friend that sunday on my day off but when I got home that night half her stuff was gone so I called and texted to find out what had happened both got nothing back till that morning from her dad telling me how could I go out with a ex girlfriend when u two our fight and she is going to live with them and it maybe over. I was like this was my bestfriend i had never dated and she knew this. we did not talk much for a few days till I tried everything to get ahold of her to see if I could go to the doctor and finally again her dad called me to stay away from her and later she called to say its over. so i gave her space and finally Saturday she said yes to dinner where we talked out everything and were fine and were taking it slow. the next day she was really sick from the baby so we did not talk much and monday she wanted to come over but was too busy at work and asked me to meet her at the doctor the next day. I got there and sat next to her and knew she was mad already so I took it slow and asked her how she was and then she went off on me telling why can't i leave her alone. i moved away to leave her be and focused on the baby and went in with her to see the doctor but when were alone she said I wanted you to wait outside and I said why I want to hear about the baby too so she said will talk about this when we get out. when she made her next appt she made it later so I could not make it and we walked outside where she said it's over and wanted a divorce. a few days later she told me she was coming for her stuff and to deal with it and just a few days ago with her family came and got everything of hers from out place and mailed me her keys. She paid for our car insur and told the doctor to keep me updated on the baby after the visits but we have not talked in 2 weeks now and I'm giving up hope this is just hormones and she could really want out.



Have you fought over female friend you spent Sunday with before?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

It is extremely rare that a pregnant woman starts picking fights with her husband if he is the biological father of the baby.

My strong hunch is the baby isn't yours.

You will be on the hook for 18 years of child support for the child. Suggest you immediately seek legal advice.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I think I'm with Atholk on this one. I don't think the baby is yours either.


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

In the past we did fight about spending time with the opposite because her ex had cheated on her for 3 years. when we had dinner to talk a few weeks ago we worked this and other things out and said we both would never spend time alone with the opposite sex. I understand being cheated on and one thing I feel both of could never do is cheat. I'm 100% sure I'm the father because we were never apart around the time of the baby. she and I had fights about me not being there for her with all the hours I worked and was scared when the baby came she would be doing it alone and that's what has shocked me that now that is the life she is going to have if she divorces me.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Has she left you b/c she believes you cheated on her? What are the specific points that made her leave?

The original post had alot to follow, so I kind of got lost on the specifics.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Dove83 said:


> I'm 100% sure I'm the father because we were never apart around the time of the baby.


compare to...



Dove83 said:


> she and I had fights about me not being there for her with all the hours I worked


So she cheated on you while you were at work would seem quite possible.




Dove83 said:


> and was scared when the baby came she would be doing it alone and that's what has shocked me that now that is the life she is going to have if she divorces me.


No. She may well have the biological father living with her, and you paying child support as the legal father of the child for the next 18 years. See how that totally rocks for her if that was the case?

I mean what sort of birth control were you guys using? Were you trying for a baby? 

Seek legal advice.


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

No,she knows me an I would never cheat. From what she has told me is she no longer loves me an wants nothing to do with me. Before the baby we never had a fight longer then a hour an we always talked things out fast but now she will not even talk to work things out or get to the root to why she is upset. I feel her family is getting in the way some and is upset I did not leave her alone when she went to stay with them an I understand you should give them space but we have a baby on the way so some contact is needed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

Atholk you do have some good points.
It was only the last few weeks before she moved out that I was working too much and she has moved back to her parents house for now so I know she is not living with anyone else. we were trying to have the baby and were happy before we found out about the baby but her moods got really bad soon after.
I do plan to talk to someone about my rights and walk in to this with my eyes open.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Dove83,

Her actions are not those of a woman who is pregnant in a marriage.

As soon as is physically possible your first course of action is to have the child's paternity checked.
To be precise a DNA check is in order.

Considering your situation the court would deem it a requirement if a legal custody/support claim were filed.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I'm going to go with, your not giving the full story.

If I was pregnant and my husband and I had had a serious fight (any fight really) and he went to hang out with his ex, instead of trying to make amends with me, I'd be thinking about divorce too.


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

She was not a ex or anything close to a ex. I told my wife that my best friend who is a girl wanted to see me that weekend since she did not and when my wife got upset I did not go. we did not talk about divorce till a week later at the doctors office when she got mad because she got mad I would not wait in the waiting room and wanted to talk to the doctor. after we got outside she said I think this is not working out and I want a divorce and from that day on she has not talked to me and moved out to live with her parents. my wife has been gone a month and after 2 weeks she finally went to dinner with me to talk. for the first week she would not talk to me at all and only her parents would talk, the 2nd week she went out of town to see lady gaga and after she got back had dinner with me to talk and we talked about everything from friends to family being in the middle. a few days later she wanted to come over but work was busy and she did not feel well so she asked me to meet her at the doctor where she went off on me. that was 2 weeks ago and I have not tried to talk to her at all and when she texted to say there coming for her stuff I just left the house and did not say anything. I have looked at everything and I'm 100% on a few things and confused on some. 1 I'm the father and there is no other guy 2 her family will not stay out of this and what i don't understand is why go off on me and my mom about doing everything alone and then leave me.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

If you are married stop hanging out with girls. Theres half your problem fixed, it looks like you did it to get at her. 

Instead of putting your time and energy into your relationship, and showing her how mature you are, you did something, that i think you know wasn't right.


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

we both worked out at dinner to not have opposite sex friends and go out alone with them. yes at the time it was to get back at her for how she was acting but I told her I was sorry and I have have keeped my word and not spent any time with any of my girl friends. none of what I did made her leave or start the fight that she told me she wanted a divorce, what she finally wanted a divorce over was I wanted to be in the room with the doctor and she wanted to hurt me by having me wait outside. I'm working on myself and trying to be a better man for what I have done but it takes 2 and she will not work with me.


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

First contact in 2 weeks was by email to tell me she lost the baby 3 days ago and she is picking up the paperwork for the divorce today. I can't take anymore of this pain.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Dove83 said:


> First contact in 2 weeks was by email to tell me she lost the baby 3 days ago and she is picking up the paperwork for the divorce today. I can't take anymore of this pain.


You will get through it. Hang in there.

I remain unconvinced that he baby was yours though. The keeping you out of the doctor's office is a major red flag.

I'm not sure that it's any true comfort though. 

So sorry for your situation.


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

Update, after the email saying she just wants a divorce an nothing from me and had a miscarriage I called the doctor an she says nothing is wrong with the baby. I believe she wants the baby an nothing to do with me or a fight over custody.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

ok you answered my question...i thought she was lying about the miscarriage.


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## Dove83 (May 8, 2011)

I'm going to talk to a lawyer an fight for custody.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Dove83 said:


> I'm going to talk to a lawyer an fight for custody.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I understand her being pissed about female - but lying about miscarriage is just cruel!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## paperclip (Feb 24, 2011)

Dove83 said:


> I'm going to talk to a lawyer an fight for custody.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Tough love dude. The baby is not yours. She lied about the miscarriage because she knows the baby is not yours. 

You will not get custody unless you take a paternity test after she has the baby. If the baby is not yours you have no shot to get custody of another mans baby.

She lied to you about the miscarriage because the baby is not yours and doesn't want to give you that pain.

My advice is to forget her and move on. take a paternity test when she has the baby. Then never talk to her again after you find out the baby is not yours.


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

have to agree it doesn't sound like the baby is yours


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Dove83 said:


> I'm going to talk to a lawyer an fight for custody.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You won't get custody because the paternity test will show it's not your baby.

She cheated on you.

You want the paternity test to ensure you don't spend 20-40% of your disposible income for the next 18 years on your ex-wife.


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