# should i confront her now......



## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Some of you know my story and some of you don't. I will not retype my whole story.

I just have one question ?

Me and wife have been separated for 2 months now after a year of false reconciliation.

I have not gone thru her facebook or email account in a while cause i wanted to stop thinking about her and help myself detach better. I feel detached at this point, i am doing good during the separation. I feel am doing good because i already went thru the motions all last year.

Well my question is this. Something told me today to check her accounts and in her facebook found something not big of a deal. Then i checked her email and found a survey for a hotel she stayed in on May 29th and checked out May 30th.

well May 30th was my daughters award ceremony at school which stbxw invited me too. I showed up she called me to sit next to her but time i was sitting next to her she seemed odd. I would ask her questions and she seemed nervous and stuttering. (i ended up leaving cause she was acting suspicious).

Well seems her nervousness is cause she was at a motel the night before.

You maybe asking why im asking if i ahould confront right.

Well because she keeps telling me she misses me, that she still loves me, that she feels she wants to get back together. Last night she told me she is really really confused right now about me and her (i told myself i feel their is someone in the picture).

I am asking opinions to confront her of her motel stay cause i want her to know im on to her every move. I want her to know that if she gonna leave my kids alone for her to be going out i will fight for custody of them. And i want to confront her because what she says of missing me is just to drag me along till she has filled having her fun.

So do i confront her or just let it be.

We been together 18 yrs married 14 yrs of those 18 yrs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

So, if you have no intention of reconciling, it doesn't warrant a confrontation. However, next time she tries to guilt you into a response, I would bring it to her attention that you know she was at a hotel and you'd prefer she stop with the manipulation attempts.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> So, if you have no intention of reconciling, it doesn't warrant a confrontation. However, next time she tries to guilt you into a response, I would bring it to her attention that you know she was at a hotel and you'd prefer she stop with the manipulation attempts.




Well the thing is me, her and the kids spent the whole day together yesterday. We went to the movies and all. And well i ended up staying the night there. I didn't know of the motel issue till today when i felt something tell me to look into her accounts.

After i left this morning she texted me "i enjoyed thnx". 

So im angry and feel i need to tell her what i know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

life.is.pain said:


> Well the thing is me, her and the kids spent the whole day together yesterday. We went to the movies and all. And well i ended up staying the night there. I didn't know of the motel issue till today when i felt something tell me to look into her accounts.
> 
> After i left this morning she texted me "i enjoyed thnx".
> 
> ...


So, the big question is what do YOU want? She's blowing smoke up your behind so none of these experiences together are genuine at this point.

To be honest, I wouldn't be spending any more time together. It's not fair to you or to the kids and it feeds her cake eating habit to have it all.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> So, the big question is what do YOU want? She's blowing smoke up your behind so none of these experiences together are genuine at this point.
> 
> To be honest, I wouldn't be spending any more time together. It's not fair to you or to the kids and it feeds her cake eating habit to have it all.




I want confront her to show her that i know what she has been doing. Because last night i asked her. 

Why does she not divorce me and she says she doesn't know why she doesn't want a divorce.

Today im suppose to go over and eat dinner, so i was thinking of talking to her straight up and reveal all i know. Honestly i want a divorce from her and i have told her many times that i think its best we divorce.

But she says no but still wants to be doing other things while married. No. I just feel i have to get things of my chest for im the only one that tried saving our marriage all last year till this year when we finally separated.

During this separation i have thought long and hard and i feel divorce is best but she says no.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So first make a copy of the email. Then start a conversation about dating while separated. Let her come clean with you, if she will. If she doesn't, simply tell her that you know about the hotel stay, and it's a deal breaker for you to try reconciling while she's seeing someone. So you'll be filing papers this week. DO NOT TELL HER HOW YOU KNOW! Or even how much you know. 

Remember that the only person you have to convince is yourself (assuming you're in NA, and a no-fault jurisdiction). 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

life.is.pain said:


> Well my question is this. Something told me today to check her accounts and in her facebook found something not big of a deal. Then i checked her email and found a survey for a hotel she stayed in on May 29th and checked out May 30th.
> 
> well May 30th was my daughters award ceremony at school which stbxw invited me too. I showed up she called me to sit next to her but time i was sitting next to her she seemed odd. I would ask her questions and she seemed nervous and stuttering. (i ended up leaving cause she was acting suspicious).
> 
> ...


From what I gather so far, she's by herself and you have no marriage. So at some point you need to accept that where she sleeps, and with whom, is NOYB. For general statement, I would say that if she has the kids, she's not likely to go out partying and leave them alone, unless you know her tendencies would be to do so. If that's the case, you may have a little legal battle going on in your future. 

If she truly misses you, she'll put a lot of effort into it. Just saying it and sending an abbreviated text about being with you the night before sounds pretty minimal. 

If you feel there is someone else in the picture, I gotta say it feels that way from where I'm sitting too. That goes back to my first paragraph... And that part would have to be totally over before you could, obviously, even consider R. But if she's "confused" that means (in cheaterscript) she's still hanging on to her OM, whoever that is. 

My two cents from way over here. God bless, and I wish better days for you.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Who cares what she wants at this point? Do what YOU want and need. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Just read the recent posts. If you want a divorce, and she's acting like this, just serve her and stop the bleeding.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

life.is.pain said:


> Well the thing is me, her and the kids spent the whole day together yesterday. We went to the movies and all. And well i ended up staying the night there. I didn't know of the motel issue till today when i felt something tell me to look into her accounts.
> 
> After i left this morning she texted me "i enjoyed thnx".
> 
> ...


And that's why you don't have sex with ex. At least until the D is final or you've got R.

Next time she brings up R, just say your PI just gave you a report stating that she'd been seen going into Hotel Climaxxx on the night of the 29th with two men and that makes you question any R ideas. See how she handles that curve ball.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

File for divorce and have her served. Go dark except re: the kids.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Don't give her any copies of anything. Never reveal your sources unless you're actually ready to blow the bridge once and for all.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

So you had a year of false R (I assume she was the cheater), you're split up now, and you are still worried about what SHE wants?!?! AND having sex with her?? And waiting for HER to decide whether to D?!?

Surely you can see what is wrong with this picture.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

life.is.pain said:


> I want confront her to show her that i know what she has been doing. Because last night i asked her.
> 
> Why does she not divorce me and she says she doesn't know why she doesn't want a divorce.
> 
> ...


Why does it matter what she says or feels at this point? 

File and move forward with your life.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> Why does it matter what she says or feels at this point?
> 
> File and move forward with your life.


Great advice. Pay attention and lose the pain.


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

If you need it then do it. So yeah confront her but do it as it was said above with a conversation about dating while separated then move on from there. After the conversation you really need to start thinking about D and filing the papers. It is called your life because it is YOUR life. Maybe you should start thinking on that and start making decisions that are based on what is best for YOU.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Well i went over for dinner. She seemed somewhat odd. I watched tv while dinner was getting made (didn't wanna say anything till after i ate....haha)

After we ate we sat there for a while, i could see she sensed something was wrong. 

Then i asked whats been going on. She said "nothing why ?"

I told her lets talk, no arguing, no yelling, no running off, just lets have a talk (i remained calm and cool, no emotion shown at all and i see she didn't like it)

I told her from this day forward i don't want her to call me or text me (unless has to do with my kids). 

Told her i have made a decision that i want a divorce from her. (she asked why do i want a divorce so bad, that why am i pushing it so hard now to divorce her)

I said i don't want a woman that is a liar or a cheater. (she dropped her jaw, knowing she was caught)

She tried to gaslight me but nope won't work.

I asked her did you work mother's day weekend like you said you would. She said she did (but she didn't cause she was out of town saw it on facebook, one of her cousins tagged her on facebook that weekend somewhere out of town) same people that cover for her and justify her actions.

Then i asked her where were you May 29th ? She stuttered not knowing what to say. 

Then she tried telling me she was at home with our kids. (bull*hit)

I calmly told her that she was seen at a motel and checked out May 30th. She dropped her jaw again (caught again in a big lie)

I asked her were you at a motel May 29th to May 30th.....no answer at all from her

She again tried to change it around to me and i asked her......"are you gonna deny you were at a motel ?"

She never answered or denied it. No need for her to answer cause she knew she was busted.

She got mad started saying she invited me over on good terms and stuff.

Then she said i want you to leave now !

I calmly said no problem and walked out the door. 

I know now i did all i could to try to fix my marriage since last year till now and she never tried.

So im walking away feeling content i did my part.

The future holds a divorce filing and moving on with my life from this manipulative, lying, cheating, cake eating woman.

Now she can be somebody else's problem, im done with her and it feels good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

Good job you got what you needed now you see the reality of who she is not her illusion. Hope you keep posting updates from this day on it is going to get better.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

```

```



life.is.pain said:


> Well i went over for dinner. She seemed somewhat odd. I watched tv while dinner was getting made (didn't wanna say anything till after i ate....haha)
> 
> After we ate we sat there for a while, i could see she sensed something was wrong.
> 
> ...


You are the MAN!!!


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

CEL said:


> Good job you got what you needed now you see the reality of who she is not her illusion. Hope you keep posting updates from this day on it is going to get better.




yes it will get better i can feel it !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Thound said:


> ```
> 
> ```
> You are the MAN!!!




haha....yes...thnx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Well my daughter had been mad at me since march cause her mom brainwashes her. 

But yesterday sunday when we went to the movies i surprisingly grabbed my daughter and gave her a tight hug. That must of made her feel good and showed her i love her deeply. For then she just smiled. 

I asked her are you still mad at your dad ? she said no

I asked her do you love your dad ? she said yes

Felt really good cause me and my daughter had a awesome relationship. My son also happy to be around his pops. Just will do for my kids from now on. They are my greatest gifts in life.

I feel like i have gotten justice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Don't give her any copies of anything. Never reveal your sources unless you're actually ready to blow the bridge once and for all.


My father worked on the real Bridge on the River Kwai. Said the Japs were a 100% more brutal than the movie portrayed. That said I love this film. An epic.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

life.is.pain said:


> Then she said i want you to leave now !
> 
> I calmly said no problem and walked out the door.
> 
> ...


Dude in 1 post you went from making me wonder what brand of doormat you are to THE MAN! WELL PLAYED!

Hard to believe now but statistically there IS another woman who will wear your ring some day. Hang around. You will find yourself 10000x stronger. Plus you are an epic example of the transformation from doormat to THE MAN.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

I feel i have regained the upper hand now. Im not trying to power trip, just show her i will not put up with her crap.

Like sunday night i told her. 

You made the decision to breakup the family with her choices. My kids and i didn't have a say in breaking up the family. She got completely quiet.

Then yesterday monday she brought it up that i told her she is to blame for the marriage/family breakup.

I said yeah well you are. You made the decision to go out and f*ck it up. You made your choice and now you will live with the consequences. 

The problem is that she can never accept responsibility for her actions. 

I told her the apple doesn't fall far from the tree cause her mom, had different kids with 3-4 different men.

As for my kids i know they are both mine. 
She changed completely when her mom passed away in november 2011. Even though i was there for her to support her thru it all the way.

Told her one day she will wakeup and realize what she did, but its already to late.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Well done. Now stick to your guns. I doubt this is the last of her manipulation and lies.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

From my experience with false R, and reading your posts. You really need to fully disengage from her, except the children. Talk to an attorney about your rights, and what you need to do to protect them and your children. He may want you to continue to collect more information, and dont discuss any of your findings with your WW. At the right time, file. Divorce this train wreck of a wife. She will continue to drag you down, Emotionally and financially.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Horizon said:


> My father worked on the real Bridge on the River Kwai. Said the Japs were a 100% more brutal than the movie portrayed. That said I love this film. An epic.


My SIL's dad (anti-American bastard) also worked on it and you are correct. His health never recovered, although he lived until 1992, he was very frail. I've known several guys who were on the Bataan Death March, too. I have a low regard for Bushido.


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## Summer4744 (Oct 15, 2012)

Horizon said:


> My father worked on the real Bridge on the River Kwai. Said the Japs were a 100% more brutal than the movie portrayed. That said I love this film. An epic.


Maybe your dad deserved it. Those "Japs" did a lot of bad things in the war, but so did we.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

*Re: Re: should i confront her now......*



Summer4744 said:


> Maybe your dad deserved it. Those "Japs" did a lot of bad things in the war, but so did we.


Keep your apologest coments to yourself. His father was tossed into a world conflict. Those men and woman didn't ask for that.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Well done. Now stick to your guns. I doubt this is the last of her manipulation and lies.




true....i know its not the end....especially her now knowing i have detached from the marriage and see divorce is the best thing to do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

She's liable to come crying back begging and pleading and snuffling too. What's your plan if she does that?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Summer4744 said:


> Maybe your dad deserved it. Those "Japs" did a lot of bad things in the war, but so did we.


They started it, we finished it.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

life is pain,

Has she responded at all to your demand for divorce? 

She seems as if her head is still spinning, trying to wrap itself around the fact that she is busted, how she can try to gaslight you, or blameshift/argue about responsibility, etc.

Has she actually addressed or confronted the reality that you are ending the marriage?


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

toonaive said:


> From my experience with false R, and reading your posts. You really need to fully disengage from her, except the children. Talk to an attorney about your rights, and what you need to do to protect them and your children. He may want you to continue to collect more information, and dont discuss any of your findings with your WW. At the right time, file. Divorce this train wreck of a wife. She will continue to drag you down, Emotionally and financially.




i hear you loud and clear. Right now she is suffering. She has lost a lot of weight due to stress and worries.

She is suffering financially, for she has asked me many times for money and i tell her straight up no. I told her i will not support her thru this for this is a choice she made. She has a fulltime job, but she doesn't know how to administer her money.

Besides i will not fund her cheating and lying ways. 

Life catches up to us all and she is slowly paying the price. I just feel pity for her cause she knows i am a good father and husband but believes what her friends and family tell her. So all i told her was good luck.

Now im gonna do me and for my kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> She's liable to come crying back begging and pleading and snuffling too. What's your plan if she does that?




show no emotion and just plainly not care for she didn't care about me when she was out and about. I have learned alot from reading other peoples stories here on TAM, for its like we all go thru the exact same thing with our wayward spouse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Dyokemm said:


> life is pain,
> 
> Has she responded at all to your demand for divorce?
> 
> ...




She says she doesn't want a divorce. She asks why am i pushing the divorce so hard now.

I told her i don't want a cheating, lying, manipulative, unrespectful, conniving, narcissistic woman that has entitlement issues and thinks the world revolves around her.

Me now really pushing the divorce issue i see its hitting her little by little. 

Last year i did it all wrong. I begged and pleaded for her to work together to fix our marriage. But she laughed in my face.

And now that im stronger emotionally and mentally, she sees i mean business.

To little to late.

I told her, becareful what you wish for because one day you might get it and not really want it.

Well reality is hitting her smack in the face now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

life.is.pain said:


> Last year i did it all wrong. I begged and pleaded for her to work together to fix our marriage. But she laughed in my face.


That's always the way it is.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

life.is.pain said:


> . Because last night i asked her.
> 
> Why does she not divorce me and she says she doesn't know why she doesn't want a divorce.
> 
> ...


She doesn't want to D because she is a cake eater. She wants you for "family stuff", and other men for sex. Plain and simple.


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

Shes saying she wants you but still has sex with other men. 

Watch what she does, not what she says.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

awake1 said:


> Shes saying she wants you but still has sex with other men.
> 
> Watch what she does, not what she says.




I did tell her i know why she don't want a divorce cause is that exactly a cake eater and wants me as her plan B. 

All she does is deny deny deny.

She thinks she has me taken for a fool, but the only fool here is her. Her for thinking and believing that in the end she will come out the victor.

Wrong her time will come and it won't be pretty.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

life.is.pain said:


> I did tell her i know why she don't want a divorce cause is that exactly a cake eater and wants me as her plan B. _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sounds like it. "Who will pay my bills now?" she'll wonder. "Surely not me! I have to much to do, I have a social life and I want mine!" 



life.is.pain said:


> She thinks she has me taken for a fool, but the only fool here is her. Her for thinking and believing that in the end she will come out the victor._Posted via Mobile Device_


They use the same magic tricks on us for years on end. Then when we finally wake up and realize the secret, they flounder. How can you fool someone when they know all your tricks? So they try new tricks. But by then the game is up. 

We become immune to sex, to pity, to manipulation and games. Once the love goggles are broken there is never any going back. You can see imperfections in her now. That's good. 



life.is.pain said:


> Wrong her time will come and it won't be pretty.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Single life is brutal to many of these wayward women. After she rides the dating merry go round she'll go to bed every night wishing you were next to her.

Punish her and reward yourself for a life of loyalty: Move on.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

awake1 said:


> Sounds like it. "Who will pay my bills now?" she'll wonder. "Surely not me! I have to much to do, I have a social life and I want mine!"
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I told myself the same thing and also told her. When the fun ends that will end up alone, her friends will be gone and her enabling cousins won't care that she lost her marriage.

For in the end the people she partys with have their own lives to worry about and deal with.

She will be left wondering and then realize WTF she did. 

All the fun and games eventually end. 

By that time she will be the loser.

I can't save her now and nor will i save her then.

She knows exactly what she is doing now no excuses but she just don't care at the moment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

Has she admitted to the affairs now? I know you have the proof but has she admitted to them? Sorry if I missed it.


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## dsGrazzl3D (Apr 22, 2013)

1st - `Not gone back and read thru all the history, but sorry you had to come here to get help _*postmortem*_.  



life.is.pain said:


> I feel i have regained the upper hand now. I'm not trying to power trip, just show her i will not put up with her crap.
> 
> *I told her the apple doesn't fall far from the tree* cause her mom, had different kids with 3-4 different men.
> 
> Told her one day she will wake-up and realize what she did, but its already to late.


WOW!! That's so awesome!!! Nobody wants to be compared to a parent they had issues with, knowing that it is not a complaint! I'm still trying to live down a similar statement to my wife... Hope you can move on to show your kids a good model of marriage if the chance comes up again for you. I know you don't want to even think about another LTR at this time. I agree just start learning how great life is. Single dad's still make good guys look even more attractive! Good Luck!


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

CEL said:


> Has she admitted to the affairs now? I know you have the proof but has she admitted to them? Sorry if I missed it.



She has not admitted to anything or denied anything yet. 

I told her i know more than she thinks i know. other times she tried to deny it but then i asked her in a serious tone "are you sure you wanna deny it cause i can show you proof"......no response from her.

Yesterday when i confronted her for the first time didn't deny it or own up to it. No need for her to respond cause she knows she is completely busted.

Now she is angry towards me......cause her cover has been blown....i bet so many things are running thru her mind cause she knows she crossed the line for our narriage to end.

In the end she did it herself, can't blame no one else for her stupid mistakes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

dsGrazzl3D said:


> 1st - `Not gone back and read thru all the history, but sorry you had to come here to get help _*postmortem*_.
> 
> 
> 
> WOW!! That's so awesome!!! Nobody wants to be compared to a parent they had issues with, knowing that it is not a complaint! I'm still trying to live down a similar statement to my wife... Hope you can move on to show your kids a good model of marriage if the chance comes up again for you. I know you don't want to even think about another LTR at this time. I agree just start learning how great life is. Single dad's still make good guys look even more attractive! Good Luck!



Yes a relationship not crossing my mind right now. I just wanna get rid of this woman (divorce her) and let her be someone else's problem.

I rather enjoy the single life and my kids.

I have learned alot since last year to now that i have gotten stronger emotionally and mentally, that i know i will be fine. I am detached from her already. No hate, yes some anger but the anger reminds me of why its best to just divorce her and for me to move on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Remember LIP, now its not about her, its no longer about calling her out, blaming her, accusing her, or even dealing with her turmoil. Its about you and how you are no longer going a long, but moving ahead and it will be up to your old lady to keep up and make the changes that will save her marriage. As it is very clear now that you will no longer share your wife and can move forward.

It sound like you are finely one step a head, instead of being one step behind....lets see is she can keep up if she wants to save *her* marriage while you let this old marriage go, it will now be up to her to keep up with the marriage *you* want ...either with her or with out her!


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

the guy said:


> Remember LIP, now its not about her, its no longer about calling her out, blaming her, accusing her, or even dealing with her turmoil. Its about you and how you are no longer going a long, but moving ahead and it will be up to your old lady to keep up and make the changes that will save her marriage. As it is very clear now that you will no longer share your wife and can move forward.
> 
> It sound like you are finely one step a head, instead of being one step behind....lets see is she can keep up if she wants to save *her* marriage while you let this old marriage go, it will now be up to her to keep up with the marriage *you* want ...either with her or with out her!




Very true statement you just made. I like what you just said, something i can read overs and overs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TeaLeaves4 (Feb 19, 2010)

anchorwatch said:


> Keep your apologest coments to yourself. His father was tossed into a world conflict. Those men and woman didn't ask for that.


Yes, exactly.

Complete ignorance of history.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Ever heard of the Rape of Nanking? Think what would have happened to all those Micronesian and East Asian countries if America had lost the war. Do you think Japan would have treated them any better? Hirohito was as evil as Hitler. He just lacked the PR. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

BTW when I meant statistically you will find love again. I Do mean when YOU are ready and I know you aint near ready ATM.

Nonetheless once 6 mos, a year or whatever you need has passed, a LOYAL woman can be a great addition to your life. IM thinking TAM has given you a damn good ability to choose wisely next time.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Folks - lets take the political discussion elsewhere?


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Yeah you guys. Knock it off!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Well well......hahaha

I been staying with my kids since thursday night. STBXW being super friendly with a hint of sarcasm.

Anyways last couple days have been rather ok and then wierd at same time. But im enjoying my time more cause im with my kids.

Anyways they left to a birthday party awhile ago. I decided to do laundry and watch the SPURS game.....go spurs go.....hahaha

Ok point is.....i was messing around with the computer surfing web in the mean time while game starts.

Well i remembered last time i was here back in March i had downloaded alot of music and just decided to transfer to my phone.

Well as i go to my documents, i see a odd downloaded file.....hmmm ???

I open the odd file and BINGO !!!!!!! Hahaha

Its a text message charges call log to her phone she must of downloaded....its dated May 1st 2013 to May 2nd 2013.....a total of 469 text messages to one specific phone #.

So i spydial the phone #.......and BAM !!!!!!

Phone number belongs to some dude i had mentioned to her some time last year in november. I had found a Best Buy receipt in her email account some time last year.

I had confronted her about the best buy item, but she denied it and will i didn't really believe her but i just let it go.

Well now i have the dudes number, i have his name, his address and proof so she can't deny sh*t anymore.

You know me finding out more stuff little by little don't fase me at all. 

I feel no love for her, i look at her and she disgusts me, i know i am detached.

Since thursday night that i have been staying here (im leaving tomorrow morning) she has been accusing me of people checking on me (cause people text or call me). She has been throwing things at me oddly here and there, but i know its cause she the one messing around.

So what will i do with the information i have in hand now ?????

Confirms more of a reason why its best to divorce her pathetic ass....

But i will not let this info go to waste....bwahahahaha for i already know what im going to do with it.

I might do it in a couple days or in a week or so but i will do it. Her world will come crumbling down and i will walk away from this with my head held high unscathed.

I will mess up her fantasy world, i will expose her and him. 

I will expose not to get her back but because she messed with wrong man........ME !!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Post the dude up on cheaterville and send a link to her and via SMS to him.

That should help her affair along nicely,


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

You SAVED the info, copied it 3 times all of them safe places right?


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Post the dude up on cheaterville and send a link to her and via SMS to him.
> 
> That should help her affair along nicely,



What is cheaterville ? Have seen it mentioned here in a couple threads.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> You SAVED the info, copied it 3 times all of them safe places right?



Yes saved info, copied and safe. Will be gathering more info as i go for i will be staying the week again with my kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Last night when she showed up with kids after birthday party she says i text you that we were on our way back home. I said yea i read it. She says man you can't even respond to it, thats rude.

She had first walked in a good mood then after a bit her mood changed to being serious. (i was calm and collected) I will remain civil and calm and emotionless, for me staying there will help me to find out more info. Gonna start looking for a lawyer to find out what my rights are.

She tried to argue last night, but i just kept smiling cause i won't let her push my buttons at all. 

I have regained the upper hand and i won't fold them at all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Well done L is P! I remember reading your 1st posts. You seem in a much better place. So glad to see this. It is uplifting.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Remains said:


> Well done L is P! I remember reading your 1st posts. You seem in a much better place. So glad to see this. It is uplifting.



Thank you. Yes from where i was at this time last year depressed, sad, hated life, didn't want to do anything cause i thought the world ended......hahaha

To where i am at now. Im stronger, emotionally better and mentally. 

Its true when you first find out ypur WS is lying and cheating its like one's world crumbles and we start going thru the motions. 

But also in due time the blurryness in our eyes, our mind and heart start to clear up and we see the light at the end of the tunnel.

As days go on and i find more little by little, it don't fase me at all. Feelings for her and what she does are gone.

All i want to do is deatroy her fantasy world so she can see thw pain she caused me back in the day and destroying my life with my kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

LIP seriously STICK AROUND HERE.

You are an example of very weak start with MAN-IN-CHARGE finish! You can be a GIANT help here, especially on doormat threads.

You can seriously say. I was where you are and look at me now. You will be a demigod later when you say that and explain your younger hotter long term girlfriend.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> LIP seriously STICK AROUND HERE.
> 
> You are an example of very weak start with MAN-IN-CHARGE finish! You can be a GIANT help here, especially on doormat threads.
> 
> You can seriously say. I was where you are and look at me now. You will be a demigod later when you say that and explain your younger hotter long term girlfriend.



Weighlifter, i have been on this site for a while now. My other threads i deleted a while back.

When i first found this site and read other peoples stories, honestly i never believed the advice i would read for other people. But now where i stand i will attest that all the advice people here on TAM is very on point.

So my advice to any new poster that just found out they have been cheated on is to follow the advice given to you and you will triumph in the end.

Best of all the advice is given to you free. And its priceless advice.

So when people of TAM tell you that one day you will be strong, detached from a worthless spouse, that your gonna be trying to get divorced as soos as possible....hahaha (i am looking for a divorce A.S.A.P.) its all real.

If your afraid to post your own story, then just read others stories and the advice given to them. And you will see for yourself. Once you read someone elses story immediately its like they living your life. 

Thank you to people of TAM, for without this site or peoples advice or stories i would probably still be in a hole wanting to hide forever.

But nope life continues and little by little it gets better. We all will persevere, just don't give up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Find out if this guy has a wife or a girlfriend and then expose the affair to her.


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