# Whats your Cost per Insertion (CPI)?



## UCanTalk (Mar 17, 2009)

I came across this TLA when in Kenya. The ex pat wives used the CPI ratio to see how much they could extract from their hubbies. For them, the higher the rate the better, for the hubbie, he wants a lower rate. So a wife might say, the CPI last night was a pair of Christian Louboutin's or a Prada handbag. 

I then extended the concept to everyday running costs of my wife (in a light hearted way) when talking about our mismatched libidos. 

I said if we do it once a month and she costs me $100,000 a year to maintain (big house, nice life style, nice holidays, fast car etc) then the CPI is 12/100,000 = $8,333. She laughed when I said I could get a world class hooker for that!

We then calculated the CPI if we did it twice weekly. The CPI then dropped to 104/100,000 = $961. Now that would still buy a good night's entertainment but perhaps not world class.

I the suggested we go for twice daily, then the CPI gets really interesting : 730/100,000 = $136. I have no idea what the current market rate for sex is but i suspect one would not a get a lot for that.

I have not factored in costs for emotional bonding during the sex act with wife along with a lot of other factors, but the concept made me laugh.


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

You need to separate "fixed costs" from "extra expense", in other words, what fixed costs exist whether you have a wife or not, and isolate the extra expense she brings.

So, maybe $40k/year would be fixed cost - if you live a modest, uncomplicated life. $60,000 is what you are paying for marital benefits. 

104 / 60,000 = $576, still a hell of a lot of money when you put it in those terms.

If sex is the only added value she brings to your life, then it'd be cheaper, by far, to outsource. And you'd get better service, more selection, etc.

What's the value of the non-sexual benefits?


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## UCanTalk (Mar 17, 2009)

Thanks Seeking Sanity. I had separated out the fixed costs!

It was very much tongue in cheek (perhaps not a few years ago) The added benefits are significant!


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

UCanTalk said:


> Thanks Seeking Sanity. I had separated out the fixed costs!
> 
> It was very much tongue in cheek (perhaps not a few years ago) The added benefits are significant!


 Hmmm tongue in cheek aside...for $8,333.00 you could probably persuade her to put her tongue somewhere else.


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

I refer to it as ROI..... Crass and nasty, but really is it that far off? Now remember there actually maybe times they want it. Does her Orgasm then count as a discount. I'd say a BJ is selfless and she should get 100% credit for the work done there.

There was an article or a comment I read where a male decided he was done "investing" in women. He meets one, that is great, but he will no longer spend, wine & dine women only to get no where. He now spends it only on call girls. Got into a conversation (males only) where we all understood to a pointy his reasoning.

There is the GFE (Girlfriend Experience), where for an amount you get to feel good about it all. Dinner, conversation and sex..... Why does it work? Because that is what men want. They want it from their wife, but it ends after dinner......


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## MickeyD (Feb 19, 2012)

CPI = ~$35,000

*sigh*


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

A fun mental exercise but ultimately soulless and depressing if taken too seriously, particularly by those of us in relationships that are not adding up.



> Does her Orgasm then count as a discount. I'd say a BJ is selfless and she should get 100% credit for the work done there.


Good point, there is a value in the fact that the effort on your part ends with the exchange of money. Orgasms provided should apply as store credit or a gift certificate.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I dunno. We are sexual almost every day. And...we both contribute to 1/2 our household needs.  We break even I think!

I'd do him even if he had only a nickle and some belly lint. 

He's so damn sexy.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

MickeyD said:


> CPI = ~$35,000
> 
> *sigh*


  What's that...like 4 times a year? If that was all I had to look forward to I'd have to purchase stock in Energizer...battery sales would definitely be on an incline.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I dunno. We are sexual almost every day. And...we both contribute to 1/2 our household needs.  We break even I think!
> 
> *I'd do him even if he had only a nickle and some belly lint. *
> 
> He's so damn sexy.


:rofl: tg you crack me up!


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## UCanTalk (Mar 17, 2009)

Mrs. T said:


> What's that...like 4 times a year? If that was all I had to look forward to I'd have to purchase stock in Energizer...battery sales would definitely be on an incline.


Depends on how much his lady is costing him per year and how many times he gets it. Both numbers affect the CPI. 

It does sound like a very high figure though, you could buy a car for that.


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## MickeyD (Feb 19, 2012)

Mrs. T said:


> What's that...like 4 times a year? If that was all I had to look forward to I'd have to purchase stock in Energizer...battery sales would definitely be on an incline.


Roughly twice a year. She has completely lost her libido and have no interest in intimate physical contact (sex, cuddling, etc).


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Ugh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Hmmm. We have sex 5 to 7 times a week, and I'd guess she costs me 100/week. Mostly in chocolate milk and snacks. So I'd say my CPI is about $20. Maybe I need to step it up a bit financially. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

So let's see, we roughly made 115,000 last year. Both of our incomes together. Sounds like a ton! but...in Southern CA, this is modest living.

We have sex on average 6 times a week. (some weeks way more, other weeks way less). 6 times 52 is 312.

We do other sexual things besides intercourse on the days we don't have sex. so...3 times 52 is 156.

156 + 312 = 468

115,000/468= 245.73

lolll We're a cheap lay. :rofl:


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You can't divide by zero in non Cantorian number spaces.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Gee, I missed out on this. Never had a husband support me so I never got my CPI. Think I'll go back take them to court. I'm HD so this could turn out well for me.


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## UCanTalk (Mar 17, 2009)

Runs like Dog said:


> You can't divide by zero in non Cantorian number spaces.


That would be infinity then? Sounds uba expensive
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

MickeyD said:


> Roughly twice a year. She has completely lost her libido and have no interest in intimate physical contact (sex, cuddling, etc).


  That is sad. I'd go crazy! I need some type of physical contact on a daily basis. My husband can't keep up with me in the sex department but he loves to cuddle and hold hands etc...For those times I have to make myself happy I have gotten smart and now buy the rechargeable batteries.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Don't forget to subtract any work she does in the house or with kids that could be used as babysitter/housecleaner duties. There is also the convenience factor. Wife is always at your house, a hooker you either have to call or pick up. Also, there's a risk involved with prostitution, both with the law and with STDs, you need to apply that to the overall cost. ie if your wife costs $100 per ejaculation, then a hooker would need to be ~$75 to even it out.

Let's not get sloppy on our cost models people...


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Can you transfer some of the cost to her affair partner?


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

funny banned commercial Priceless Mastercard - YouTube


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