# Over for good.



## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

my relationship with my husband has lasted 4 years till he finally left me for good.

im now waiting for us to have enough money to file for divorce and i am torn apart.

my husband left me for no reason at all and he left me out of nowhere too, he left me in total shock and i even got diagnosed with severe depression because of this whole thing.

i give up finally.

im so destroyed.


----------



## rightallalong (Dec 6, 2011)

Hi psycho, 

I too am feeling pretty broken right now. I don't understand how you can hurt someone so much when you were supposed to protect them from hurt and its even more baffling that I could still love and want someone who has hurt me so much ! the whole thing is just rubbish. very dark times. I hate him but just want him to hold me and tell me he loves me. Madness. nothing i can say to make you feel better but you are not alone


----------



## nickiblue (Feb 20, 2011)

i dont think we ever understand. gradually with time and patience we learn to accept what has happened. yes somedays are worse than others, that will always be true.
i was in your situation from the start of 2011. i stayed in limbo for 9 months b4 pushing the divorce button. taking some form of control helps to see a way forward. it is a long road and i am not looking forward to divorce being final, but H made it impossible for me to see a way back to him.
love to you both. x


----------



## SoxMunkey (Jan 1, 2010)

xxPsychoKatxx said:


> my relationship with my husband has lasted 4 years till he finally left me for good.
> 
> im now waiting for us to have enough money to file for divorce and i am torn apart.
> 
> ...


I can clearly relate to how you are feeling. My now ex-wife walked out on me and the kids two years ago. I was more than devastated. In fact, I cannot put into words just how much pain I was in.

After 2-3 months of me begging for her to try again, I had to file for divorce. I didn't have a lot of money, but I knew that I could not go on with things being the way that they were. I went to the courthouse and filed indigent. If there is a will... then there is a way.

Our divorce was finalized about 6-7 months later. The pain never really goes away, but it does become manageable. I have gone on with my life and I have learned to not look back.

I wish you success!


----------



## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

thank you all for the positive feed back, i know ill be fine once everything is done and over with and i sure wont be looking for anything else in the future!


----------



## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Everything everyone has said is true! Experience is the best teacher, and we all have the experience to make it through this and anything else thrown at us. Praying for the very best for you during this time. Nickiblue is absolutely 100% right on in her statement.


----------



## landgazr (Sep 30, 2011)

I have to second Nickiblue as well.

My wife left me a couple of months ago. None of the reasons she gave me made any
sense. They were small things, fixable things. Changeable things. So I am left with
a big question mark - a question that I don't think I'll ever be able to satisfactorily
answer for myself (which sucks because I'm an analytical kind of guy).

I tried convincing her to just stay separated for a while after she moved out, but when
she said there was no chance, I knew I just couldn't abide waiting and hoping. It would
have been psychological torture. I needed to begin to heal so I began divorce proceedings
which may be finalized by the end of this year.

As time goes on, I am feeling better about my decision. Sometimes I think it was too quick,
but she hasn't looked back, so it feels more and more like it was the right thing
to do. I am not at the point where I feel I can forgive her for breaking up our
family (we had a home, children) but I must, and I will, it will just take time.

I know what it feels like. It is like my wife left and left nothing but destruction
in her wake. Our home, our children, my heart. Everything just was shattered. Everything
I thought I knew, the woman I thought I knew... To hear in counseling that your significant
other doesn't love you any more is simply devastating. Being floored doesn't even
begin to describe the despair and stinging pain I felt at this woman. We had shared
so much, and now she was pushing me away.

I'm still in love with her.

There isn't a magic pill. There is only time. And the realization that you are worthy
of love and respect, and a fulfilling life. Don't let your self-esteem take a hit.
Celebrate YOU and don't sink into despair. But there are some days or nights when
it will hit you and you'll just need to survive.

You will make it through this. Have a good support system, cry when you need to,
and be patient. It's easy to say - hard to endure. But healing can't happen
overnight. Stay strong.


----------



## allthegoodnamesaregone (Nov 18, 2011)

landgazr, there's most likely an OM, it's seldom otherwise in these situations.


----------



## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

thanks again everyone, i hav endured enough pain i can take from this man i thought i knew but it seems like everyday he shows me a side of him i never thought he had and i very much dont wanna be involved with the person he has become.

ill always love him and miss him as who i knew him as but the person he is now, i will not accept into my life anymore.

i always hurt from time to time since i first posted this but it seems to have gotten a lot better then before and im finally starting to see that im finally able to be free.


----------

