# Difference in opinions on Covid Vaccinating Kids



## Lila

My ex husband and I have managed to keep a good co parenting relationship post divorce. We have agreed on just about every decision there was regarding on our high school aged son until now. 

Son had Covid late last year. He was asymptomatic. We had him tested after an exposure to a Covid positive student at school. Son was pissed but otherwise a-ok.

Now that the Pfizer vaccine is available to teens, my ex has been nagging me to get son vaccinated. I don't have an issue with adults getting vaccinated (i went out and got it as soon as it was available to me) but I do understand there are risks involved. I was willing to accept those risks but don't want to impose those risks on my son. I feel we have time since he has Covid antibodies. Ex is pushing for the vaccine hard. Ultimately it's either my decision (he gave up his parental rights in the divorce agreement) or ex can convince my son to get it (he is of medical consent age). 

Last week was son's annual physical (he's an athlete) and his pediatrician recommended we wait to get him the vaccine since he's got antibodies (been tested) and there are significant risks to younger people that should not be rug swept. 

I do not want to sour our co parenting relationship but it's becoming an issue. Ex is fighting the recommendation and blowing up my phone with his arguments and linked research articles. I have had to throw down the "I have medical decision rights over our son" which has of course made him angry. 

For background, throughout our marriage ex was politically right leaning and believed big pharma is evil. He rarely allowed me to give our son anything for fear it would do more harm than good. His fiance (who he shares a home with) is a left wing, social justice warrior nurse who I'm sure is somehow driving this. I don't want to think the worst but I wouldn't doubt she's threatening to forbid my son from staying at their house until he's vaccinated. Could make life difficult for the ex with 50/50 custody. It would explain his argument that he's "trying to reduce risks of spreading variants to either of us or our families, or his friend's families". I have known this man for over 25 years. It's a b.s. argument coming from him. 

Has anyone else dealt with this or something similar? How did you address it?


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## Blondilocks

No experience with it. But, some teens are having heart problems with the mRNA vaccines. Personally, I would go with what the pediatrician recommends and what your son wants. As you say, he gave up his parental rights so he has no say. And, his live-in never did and never will have a say.

I thought his live-in was a stripper?


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## Diana7

I have no idea why a child needs this vaccine. The risk to them of covid is minute so they don't need it.


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## Openminded

It’s your choice (or your son’s if he’s old enough). Period.


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## Lila

Blondilocks said:


> No experience with it. But, some teens are having heart problems with the mRNA vaccines. Personally, I would go with what the pediatrician recommends and what your son wants. As you say, he gave up his parental rights so he has no say. And, his live-in never did and never will have a say.


That's exactly what his pediatrician told me. He was seeing an unusually high number of patients with myocarditis after getting the vaccine. 



> I thought his live-in was a stripper?


🤣🤣 No, she's a nurse. I'm the one with the stripper pole 😜

But she was his AP while we were married.


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## Lila

Openminded said:


> It’s your choice (or your son’s if he’s old enough). Period.


For the record, I'm not opposed to the vaccine forever. I'm opposed to it for now. Ideally I would like to see it approved by the FDA before he gets it. Like I said, he's has the covid antibodies. I know my ex's argument of variants is legitimate but if he feels that strongly about it, instead of potentially putting his son at risk for long term medical issues, he should be blowing up his parents' phones or his brother's phone, or his nieces and nephews none of which have gotten the vaccine and have never had covid. Work on the stragglers not on my son.


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## pastasauce79

Lila said:


> Last week was son's annual physical (he's an athlete) and his pediatrician recommended we wait to get him the vaccine since he's got antibodies (been tested) and there are significant risks to younger people that should not be rug swept.


You can tell him your son's antibodies are better than any vaccine. How old is your son?

My 12 year old received his first shot about a week ago. We decided to get him vaccinated because we are traveling internationally this summer. We might go to Africa, Europe or South America. If we weren't traveling, I would have postponed his vaccination. We are traveling with our 10 year old as well, we will see how it goes. 

I understand your concerns. Maybe your ex can talk to the doctor to calm his mind? What is worrying him so much? Your son had covid already, and even though people have reported feeling worse the second time around, what are the odds of him getting it again when a lot of adults are already vaccinated? 

I think he should talk to your son's doctor.


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## Blondilocks

Since he gave up his parental rights and he's so worried about your son being around his family, he might consider giving up custody, too. That's a win for you and possibly for the live-in. 

I hope he isn't putting pressure on your son. It would be devastating if your son developed health issues just to please his dad.


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## Lila

pastasauce79 said:


> You can tell him your son's antibodies are better than any vaccine. How old is your son?
> 
> My 12 year old received his first shot about a week ago. We decided to get him vaccinated because we are traveling internationally this summer. We might go to Africa, Europe or South America. If we weren't traveling, I would have postponed his vaccination. We are traveling with our 10 year old as well, we will see how it goes.
> 
> I understand your concerns. Maybe your ex can talk to the doctor to calm his mind? What is worrying him so much? Your son had covid already, and even though people have reported feeling worse the second time around, what are the odds of him getting it again when a lot of adults are already vaccinated?
> 
> I think he should talk to your son's doctor.


This is exactly why I don't think it's my ex driving this train. He has always believed big pharma is evil but now his argument he's "trying to reduce risks of spreading variants to either of us or our families, or his friend's families". I told him that for his argument to hold water he needs to start with his parents, brother's family, and the rest of his extended family who have refused to get the vaccine and haven't gotten Covid. 

Whwre I think this is all stemming from is his fiance. He shares a home with her and I wouldn't doubt she's threatening to forbid my son from staying at their house until he's vaccinated. Ex and I share 50/50 custody.


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## Lila

Blondilocks said:


> Since he gave up his parental rights and he's so worried about your son being around his family, he might consider giving up custody, too. That's a win for you and possibly for the live-in.
> 
> I hope he isn't putting pressure on your son. It would be devastating if your son developed health issues just to please his dad.


I'll be honest @Blondilocks , that would be the worse possible outcome. My son adores his father and for all of his faults, ex is a really good dad. My son needs his father in his life. I just hate that his dad is putting p***y ahead of his son. He's letting his little brain drive his decisions. 

I would be absolutely devastated if he convinces son to get it only because he wants to keep fiance happy.


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## dubsey

Lila said:


> That's exactly what his pediatrician told me. He was seeing an unusually high number of patients with myocarditis after getting the vaccine.


If he didn't get mycarditis from having covid, he's probably pretty save getting the vax. It's a side effect of covid as well. There were a few hockey players shut down for myocarditis after getting covid. One of whom didn't even know he had covid - he was asymptomatic. It's simply how each body responds.

There's probably no harm in waiting since he does have the antibodies, but based on how things have gone in Brazil, it would appear the vaccine provides better protection against variants than having covid in the past. Brazil saw a TON of re-infections on variant strains when they thought they'd be closer to herd immunity. It didn't work out that way.



Diana7 said:


> I have no idea why a child needs this vaccine. The risk to them of covid is minute so they don't need it.


Asymptomatic infection still aids in viral mutation.


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## Lila

dubsey said:


> *There's probably no harm in waiting since he does have the antibodies,* but based on how things have gone in Brazil, it would appear the vaccine provides better protection against variants than having covid in the past. Brazil saw a TON of re-infections on variant strains when they thought they'd be closer to herd immunity. It didn't work out that way.


The bold is what I'm saying. Let's wait until there's more research. We have time. 

He is using altruistic reasons for getting our son vaccinated but he's not doing a dang thing to get his immediate adult family vaccinated. It makes me think there are other things at play with his fiance.


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## pastasauce79

Lila said:


> I told him that for his argument to hold water he needs to start with his parents, brother's family, and the rest of his extended family who have refused to get the vaccine and haven't gotten Covid.


Well yeah, this is ridiculous. Why isn't he pressuring his family members? 

What does your son say about all this?


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## UpsideDownWorld11

My ex got our daughter vaccinated without discussing it with me first. There was absolutely no need for her age group. I pray to God this vaccine doesn't have any long term negative effects.


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## Lila

pastasauce79 said:


> Well yeah, this is ridiculous. Why isn't he pressuring his family members?
> 
> What does your son say about all this?


I haven't talked to my son about this yet. My custodial time starts today. I have to be VERY tactful when speaking to him about this only because I do not want him to feel like he's caught in the middle. 

Any suggestions?


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## Lila

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> My ex got our daughter vaccinated without discussing it with me first. There was absolutely no need for her age group. I pray to God this vaccine doesn't have any long term negative effects.


Did she experience any side effects?


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## Tasorundo

Lila said:


> Any suggestions?


I would introduce the topic and get his feelings on it. If he wants to get it, will you stop him?


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## dubsey

Lila said:


> I haven't talked to my son about this yet. My custodial time starts today. I have to be VERY tactful when speaking to him about this only because I do not want him to feel like he's caught in the middle.
> 
> Any suggestions?


Ask him what he thinks and what he wants to do. Keep it simple.

My son, as well as my niece and nephew got theirs as soon as possible. Mostly, they wanted to be rid of the stress of being pulled out of class because they were a close contact with someone, then banished to the soccer sideline for 10-14 days. They were just over it.


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## dubsey

Lila said:


> Did she experience any side effects?


I'll answer this for the 3 I referred to above.

After shot 2, my son was "blah" for 24 hours. Chills mostly, but he was ok. He was remote for school that day, so he sat on the couch under a blanket and did his work.
My nephew, age 18, went down for the count for a day. Couldn't stay awake and chills.
My niece - 13, was mostly fine. Didn't even miss school. A little sluggish.


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## Diana7

dubsey said:


> If he didn't get mycarditis from having covid, he's probably pretty save getting the vax. It's a side effect of covid as well. There were a few hockey players shut down for myocarditis after getting covid. One of whom didn't even know he had covid - he was asymptomatic. It's simply how each body responds.
> 
> There's probably no harm in waiting since he does have the antibodies, but based on how things have gone in Brazil, it would appear the vaccine provides better protection against variants than having covid in the past. Brazil saw a TON of re-infections on variant strains when they thought they'd be closer to herd immunity. It didn't work out that way.
> 
> 
> Asymptomatic infection still aids in viral mutation.


Children should never have to have a vaccine just to possibly protect others. 
I don't know anyone here who would agree to have their child vaccinated when the illness barely affects them.


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## Livvie

Diana7 said:


> Children should never have to have a vaccine just to possibly protect others.
> I don't know anyone here who would agree to have their child vaccinated when the illness barely affects them.


Do you have to argue with everything? Because I AM POSITIVE you do NOT know that NO ONE in the UK would want their child or teen vaccinated.


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## Livvie

Lila, how old is your son?

Most of the teens in my son's graduating class got vaccinated. They even had a vaccine clinic at school for any teen who wanted it. So, parents and teens are choosing it. Cases are now down to about 10 to 20 a day for my _entire state_ and finally, things look and feel pre pandemic.

(OTF if you are reading this, I even went grocery shopping without a mask and ate in a restaurant 😮)


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## dubsey

Diana7 said:


> Children should never have to have a vaccine just to possibly protect others.
> I don't know anyone here who would agree to have their child vaccinated when the illness barely affects them.


JFC. Just stop.


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## Sfort

Do as I say...not as I do. (My doctor calls these shots "lethal injections".)









Majority of Physicians Decline COVID Shots, according to Survey - AAPS | Association of American Physicians and Surgeons


Of the 700 physicians responding to an internet survey by the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS), nearly 60 percent said they were not “fully vaccinated” against COVID. This contrasts with the claim by the American Medical Association that 96 percent of practicing physicians...




aapsonline.org


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## Tasorundo

Sfort said:


> Do as I say...not as I do. (My doctor calls these shots "lethal injections".)
> 
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> 
> Majority of Physicians Decline COVID Shots, according to Survey - AAPS | Association of American Physicians and Surgeons
> 
> 
> Of the 700 physicians responding to an internet survey by the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS), nearly 60 percent said they were not “fully vaccinated” against COVID. This contrasts with the claim by the American Medical Association that 96 percent of practicing physicians...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> aapsonline.org


You are aware that the AAPS is a pretty far right group, right? Not really a random or representative sample of doctors.


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## dubsey

Sfort said:


> Do as I say...not as I do. (My doctor calls these shots "lethal injections".)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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> 
> 
> Majority of Physicians Decline COVID Shots, according to Survey - AAPS | Association of American Physicians and Surgeons
> 
> 
> Of the 700 physicians responding to an internet survey by the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS), nearly 60 percent said they were not “fully vaccinated” against COVID. This contrasts with the claim by the American Medical Association that 96 percent of practicing physicians...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> aapsonline.org


This source isn't the greatest. It'd be like creating an online survey and only sending it to BLM supporters and extrapolating their beliefs about Trump as a baseline for truth about what the entire population believes.


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## Diana7

Livvie said:


> Do you have to argue with everything? Because I AM POSITIVE you do NOT know that NO ONE in the UK would want their child or teen vaccinated.


I am on a very busy news site and over the last few weeks thousands have come on and said there is no way they would agree to it. Only one said yes.
They will be lucky if 5% of parents agree here. Even if they threaten to stop children going to school unless they have it, which may happen.
There is more risk from the vaccine for children and young adults than from covid 19.


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## Livvie

Diana7 said:


> I am on a very busy news site and over the last few weeks thousands have come on and said there is no way they would agree to it. Only one said yes.
> They will be lucky if 5% of parents agree here. Even if they threaten to stop children going to school unless they have it, which may happen.


Okay, I'm sure your "very busy news site" knows _how the parents of all UK teens feel_ about vaccinating their teens 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄


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## Lila

Tasorundo said:


> I would introduce the topic and get his feelings on it. If he wants to get it, will you stop him?


No but I want him to tell me why he wants it. He's shown zero interest in getting it in the past. When his pediatrician brought it, he said "I've had Covid" like it's his get outta jail card. I know him pretty good. Unless he's being pressured by his dad, he's not going to want it especially because there's no peer/community/school pressure to get it. However he will bite the bullet if it's the only way he gets to see his dad. It'll just show me he loves his dad so much that he's willing to risk his health so his dad can have a happy home life with his fiance.


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## Tasorundo

I think you should get that all out on the table then. I wasn't sure if you were anti- or wanting him to be in charge of his health.


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## SpinyNorman

Diana7 said:


> Children should never have to have a vaccine just to possibly protect others.
> I don't know anyone here who would agree to have their child vaccinated when the illness barely affects them.


Of course if children do nothing more than serve as a reservoir for the virus, it can keep reproducing and mutating, possibly achieving a mutation that kills off children.


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## uwe.blab

Lila said:


> This is exactly why I don't think it's my ex driving this train. He has always believed big pharma is evil but now his argument he's "trying to reduce risks of spreading variants to either of us or our families, or his friend's families". I told him that for his argument to hold water he needs to start with his parents, brother's family, and the rest of his extended family who have refused to get the vaccine and haven't gotten Covid.
> 
> Whwre I think this is all stemming from is his fiance. He shares a home with her and I wouldn't doubt she's threatening to forbid my son from staying at their house until he's vaccinated. Ex and I share 50/50 custody.


Well, this is kind of speculation on your part and does it really matter why? You could ask him if it does for some reason. My 13 year old daughter is vaccinated however it is a personal choice, and if you as parents disagree then there does have to be a 'final say'. 

I think bottom line here is you have final say. I would maybe just try to let his dad know that you are in favor of him getting vaccinated down the line but for now it is your decision and you have decided no vaccination. If he is not allowed at his dad's house, that is an issue between his partner and him-- yes it affects your son but that is their choice ultimately. Maybe, if it is the partner pushing it, then his father will fight just as hard to have your son still be able to stay there as he is fighting you on the vaccination.


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## Tasorundo

My son is vaccinated as well, wasn't much of a debate or question, he wanted it, we wanted it, he got it. No issues outside of a sore spot on his arm.


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## Lila

Livvie said:


> Lila, how old is your son?
> 
> Most of the teens in my son's graduating class got vaccinated. They even had a vaccine clinic at school for any teen who wanted it. So, parents and teens are choosing it. Cases are now down to about 10 to 20 a day for my _entire state_ and finally, things look and feel pre pandemic.
> 
> (OTF if you are reading this, I even went grocery shopping without a mask and ate in a restaurant 😮)


He's 15. They offered the vaccine clinic at his school for 16+ year olds when it was first made available. 

Like I said, I don't have a problem with vaccines. They can shoot me up with whatever they need to help fight this thing. I'm old and have lived a good life. I can live with any long term side effects or die trying. He has his life ahead of him. I want to make sure I'm comfortable with the risks which I'm not right now. I feel he has the antibodies from covid so we have time for more research to be completed before making the decision. Ykwim?


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## Blondilocks

Lila, I would not bring his dad into it. Listen to see if he ever brings his dad into it. If he does think he wants to get it to appease his dad, I would be inclined to say no because he would be doing it for the wrong reason. He could still see his dad elsewhere if he isn't permitted in dad's home. 

It is odd that your ex is putting everyone else's health above his own son's. All of those people are more of a threat to your son than your son is to them.


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## Lila

uwe.blab said:


> Well, this is kind of speculation on your part and does it really matter why? You could ask him if it does for some reason. My 13 year old daughter is vaccinated however it is a personal choice, and if you as parents disagree then there does have to be a 'final say'.
> 
> I Ihink bottom line here is you have final say. I would maybe just try to let his dad know that you are in favor of him getting vaccinated down the line but for now it is your decision and you have decided no vaccination. If he is not allowed at his dad's house, that is an issue between his partner and him-- yes it affects your son but that is their choice ultimately. Maybe, if it is the partner pushing it, then his father will fight just as hard to have your son still be able to stay there as he is fighting you on the vaccination.


I agree that's it's speculation on my part. That why I said "I think there is something else driving his request". 

If my speculation is correct, I do hope that ex chooses his son over his fiance but I like to be ready for all possibilities. The ex has surprised me in the past by choosing the gf over the son. I swore up and down that he would NEVER do that. {Shrug}.

We are at an impasse right now. He knows I have final say on son's medical. I just hope he doesn't try to guilt son into getting the vaccine.


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## Livvie

Lila said:


> He's 15. They offered the vaccine clinic at his school for 16+ year olds when it was first made available.
> 
> Like I said, I don't have a problem with vaccines. They can shoot me up with whatever they need to help fight this thing. I'm old and have lived a good life. I can live with any long term side effects or die trying. He has his life ahead of him. I want to make sure I'm comfortable with the risks which I'm not right now. I feel he has the antibodies from covid so we have time for more research to be completed before making the decision. Ykwim?


Totally. I'm a mom who spaced out childhood vaccinations. I wouldn't let them get multiple shots the same day. We'd come back a few months later for the next one 🙂. Pediatrician thought I was annoying.


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## Lila

Blondilocks said:


> Lila, I would not bring his dad into it. Listen to see if he ever brings his dad into it. If he does think he wants to get it to appease his dad, I would be inclined to say no because he would be doing it for the wrong reason. He could still see his dad elsewhere if he isn't permitted in dad's home.


I agree. I am not bringing his dad up in the conversation. Son is one who won't talk about his dad and their family. I know he doesn't talk about me or our life at home to his dad either. I'd have to pry it out of him and all that'll do is alienate him. 






> It is odd that your ex is putting everyone else's health above his own son's. All of those people are more of a threat to your son than your son is to them.


This is why I think there's something else driving this. What? I don't know.


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## Openminded

Sorry to say, I’m not at all surprised that your exH has on occasion chosen his gf over your son. He blew up his life for her after all. She’s very likely the reason he's so adamant about this.


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## Diana7

Livvie said:


> Okay, I'm sure your "very busy news site" knows _how the parents of all UK teens feel_ about vaccinating their teens 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄


When its thousands to one it's pretty indicative.


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## Livvie

Diana7 said:


> When its thousands to one it's pretty indicative.


My point was it wasn't an accurate poll of all the parents of the UK. So don't state it like it's fact.


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## dubsey

Diana7 said:


> When its thousands to one it's pretty indicative.


Citation, please.


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## pastasauce79

Diana7 said:


> Children should never have to have a vaccine just to possibly protect others.
> I don't know anyone here who would agree to have their child vaccinated when the illness barely affects them.


Me, my siblings, my cousins, my parents, my aunts and uncles got measles as children. We didn't die. I don't understand why we need a measles vaccine when me and my family members didn't die with it. 

A lot of viral diseases don't kill people and we still vaccinate children against them. 

The purpose of vaccination is to protect the vulnerable ones from death or horrible life altering side effects. 

I thought you were a little bit more compassionate than that.


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## UpsideDownWorld11

Lila said:


> Did she experience any side effects?


Well she got the first shot just a week ago, seems fine. But IMO it was unnecessary. She has more to lose than gain by getting a vaccine that hardly affects kids and that we know little about the long term effects. But hey I'm just the father, so who cares...


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## SpinyNorman

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Well she got the first shot just a week ago, seems fine. But IMO it was unnecessary. She has more to lose than gain by getting a vaccine that hardly affects kids and that we know little about the long term effects.


We also know little about long term effects of the virus, but unlike the vaccine, we do know some things that are not good.


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## BlueWoman

Lila said:


> (he is of medical consent age).
> 
> Last week was son's annual physical (he's an athlete) and his pediatrician recommended we wait to get him the vaccine since he's got antibodies (been tested)



Those two things are the only thing that matters. Your son is of medical consent date and his physician has recommended he wait, in part, because at the moment he has the antibodies. I would let your son make the decision but encourage him to follow his Drs advice. 

In the end, your son is the one who pays the consequence for whatever happens. So if he is old enough to make the decision, let him. 
I am a big ol‘ SJW myself and that’s what I would do. When I had the vaccine my Drs thought it was no brainer. For my friend, her Drs wanted to wait a bit, because she had so many auto immune issues, and she could safely keep herself isolated from high risk areas. Another friend was recommended to wait, because she had just had Covid and still had the antibodies. Both eventually did get their vaccines, with no significant issues. But they also both followed their Drs advice. 

This isn’t being paranoid on your part, this is following the science. We certainly all have to take risk at some point, but your physician is saying your son can safely wait for a little bit. I personally believe the vaccine is safe and I have no patience for the anti-vaxers who are just against it because Qanon says so. But I seriously doubt that your Dr is one of those. He is taking a conservative approach, but not an unreasonable or irresponsible one.


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## Lila

I just talked to my son and asked him his thoughts on getting the vaccine. I didn't bring up the discussions with his dad or my personal view on the matter, I just asked him if he was interested in getting it now that he's eligible. He was adamant that he wanted to wait. When I asked him why, he actually surprised me. Kid is smart, and is a deep thinker, but I didn't think he would be able to articulate his reasons so clearly. I figured he was going to shrug his shoulders (like the typical teenager) and say "i just don't" but you would have though he was on debate team with his arguments. It was.... eye opening. 

I did tell him that he was of medical consent age but that if he changed his mind, I would appreciate a heads up. He gave me a big hug (which engulfed me because the "child" has almost 10 inches on me) and said 'don't worry about me so much mom 🙄'. Yep, he's a teenager.


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## AandM

Lila said:


> My ex husband and I have managed to keep a good co parenting relationship post divorce. We have agreed on just about every decision there was regarding on our high school aged son until now.
> 
> Son had Covid late last year. He was asymptomatic. We had him tested after an exposure to a Covid positive student at school. Son was pissed but otherwise a-ok.
> 
> Now that the Pfizer vaccine is available to teens, my ex has been nagging me to get son vaccinated. I don't have an issue with adults getting vaccinated (i went out and got it as soon as it was available to me) but I do understand there are risks involved. I was willing to accept those risks but don't want to impose those risks on my son. I feel we have time since he has Covid antibodies. Ex is pushing for the vaccine hard. Ultimately it's either my decision (he gave up his parental rights in the divorce agreement) or ex can convince my son to get it (he is of medical consent age).
> 
> Last week was son's annual physical (he's an athlete) and his pediatrician recommended we wait to get him the vaccine since he's got antibodies (been tested) and there are significant risks to younger people that should not be rug swept.
> 
> I do not want to sour our co parenting relationship but it's becoming an issue. Ex is fighting the recommendation and blowing up my phone with his arguments and linked research articles. I have had to throw down the "I have medical decision rights over our son" which has of course made him angry.
> 
> For background, throughout our marriage ex was politically right leaning and believed big pharma is evil. He rarely allowed me to give our son anything for fear it would do more harm than good. His fiance (who he shares a home with) is a left wing, social justice warrior nurse who I'm sure is somehow driving this. I don't want to think the worst but I wouldn't doubt she's threatening to forbid my son from staying at their house until he's vaccinated. Could make life difficult for the ex with 50/50 custody. It would explain his argument that he's "trying to reduce risks of spreading variants to either of us or our families, or his friend's families". I have known this man for over 25 years. It's a b.s. argument coming from him.
> 
> Has anyone else dealt with this or something similar? How did you address it?


Note: I've not read anything but the original post.

You are absolutely in the right.

Your son has sterilizing antibodies, as tested by his pediatrician. There is no point in him getting the jab. There's no such thing as "IMMA GETZ ALL TA ANTIBODIES RAR!!!".

Given the VAERS reports concerning myocarditis in healthy teen boys after getting one of the mRNA vaccines, I wouldn't risk it for my son.

Sounds like nursey-nurse is trying to increase her footprint in the family.


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## frusdil

Diana7 said:


> I have no idea why a child needs this vaccine. The risk to them of covid is minute so they don't need it.


Yes but they can still pass it on to other people who are at enormous risk.


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## Elizabeth001

frusdil said:


> Yes but they can still pass it on to other people who are at enormous risk.


Such a basic principle…one would  


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## Elizabeth001

Elizabeth001 said:


> Such a basic principle…one would
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Or I guess some folks just don’t 


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## BlueWoman

Diana7 said:


> I am on a very busy news site and over the last few weeks, thousands have come on and said there is no way they would agree to it. Only one said yes.
> They will be lucky if 5% of parents agree here. Even if they threaten to stop children going to school unless they have it, which may happen.
> There is more risk from the vaccine for children and young adults than from covid 19.


So strange. About 25% of my community (co-workers, friends, and family). Most were fine, but one (M41) died (without any underlying condition) and one (M48) was so sick that he wasn't able to work for about 2 months. Just about everyone I know (maybe 90%) has gotten their vaccination if their Dr. approved it. About 40% felt cruddy a day or two after either one or both of their shots. Nobody's gone to the hospital, nobody has died, and no one lost more than two days due to illness. Not the most scientific study. But based on anecdotal data, I feel pretty confident that the Covid-19 is riskier than the vaccination. Losing one friend was one friend too many.


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## BlueWoman

Lila said:


> Ultimately it's either my decision (he gave up his parental rights in the divorce agreement) or ex can convince my son to get it (he is of medical consent age).
> 
> Last week was son's annual physical (he's an athlete) and his pediatrician recommended we wait to get him the vaccine since he's got antibodies (been tested)


That said, as someone who is pro-vaccine, I think you have your answer. You should let your son decide what to do as he pays the consequence no matter what happens. But I would encourage him to listen to his Dr. Given that he still has antibodies, so isn't likely to catch it or pass it on, it seems pretty reasonable to wait.


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## jlg07

Sorry if this is late to the discussion -- simply put -- your son HAD covid already, NO vaccine required:








No point vaccinating those who’ve had COVID-19: Cleveland Clinic study suggests


The study findings reveal that individuals with previous SARS-CoV-2 infection do not get additional benefits from vaccination, indicating that COVID-19 vaccines should be prioritized to individuals without prior infection. The study is currently available on the medRxiv* preprint server.




www.news-medical.net


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## jlg07

frusdil said:


> Yes but they can still pass it on to other people who are at enormous risk.


But they can ANYWAY - getting the vaccine doesn't mean you don't GET covid -- it just reduces the severity of it.
Does NOT mean you can't give it to someone else...


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## BlueWoman

jlg07 said:


> Sorry if this is late to the discussion -- simply put -- your son HAD covid already, NO vaccine required:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> No point vaccinating those who’ve had COVID-19: Cleveland Clinic study suggests
> 
> 
> The study findings reveal that individuals with previous SARS-CoV-2 infection do not get additional benefits from vaccination, indicating that COVID-19 vaccines should be prioritized to individuals without prior infection. The study is currently available on the medRxiv* preprint server.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.news-medical.net


Probably correct. But, I wouldn't recommend making any definite predictions based on an article that hasn't been peer-reviewed (yet), nor replicated. We should wait until there are few more studies that say the same or similar things. But this does look promising. And it's extremely useful information for countries that don't have access to the vaccine the way we in the US do.


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## staceymj86

I have a 9yo, who is of course not old enough to get the vaccine. In my county they are pushing for her age group to get vaccinated if and when they change the age group to include her. My daughter has asthma, and to be honest, I’m afraid for her to get the vaccine. I could’ve gotten my vaccine once they opened up in my county due to my job, but I waited until the beginning of the month to get my first shot. It took a lot of thinking for me to get it. On the other hand, I don’t know if she would have any underlying issues in the near future from the vaccine, that I don’t want to risk it right now. I’ll revisit the topic once there has been research done.


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## Blondilocks

Lila said:


> I just talked to my son and asked him his thoughts on getting the vaccine. I didn't bring up the discussions with his dad or my personal view on the matter, I just asked him if he was interested in getting it now that he's eligible. He was adamant that he wanted to wait. When I asked him why, he actually surprised me. Kid is smart, and is a deep thinker, but I didn't think he would be able to articulate his reasons so clearly. I figured he was going to shrug his shoulders (like the typical teenager) and say "i just don't"* but you would have though he was on debate team with his arguments. * It was.... eye opening.
> 
> I did tell him that he was of medical consent age but that if he changed his mind, I would appreciate a heads up. He gave me a big hug (which engulfed me because *the "child" has almost 10 inches on me)* and said 'don't worry about me so much mom 🙄'. Yep, he's a teenager.


You just have to be proud of the kid! 

Which puts him around 6'5"? And, he's still growing.


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## Lila

BlueWoman said:


> That said, as someone who is pro-vaccine, I think you have your answer. You should let your son decide what to do as he pays the consequence no matter what happens. But I would encourage him to listen to his Dr. Given that he still has antibodies, so isn't likely to catch it or pass it on, it seems pretty reasonable to wait.


Now if I could just get his father to stop arguing with me. I don't want to ruin our good co parenting relationship but he's starting to get on my nerves.


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## Lila

jlg07 said:


> Sorry if this is late to the discussion -- simply put -- your son HAD covid already, NO vaccine required:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> No point vaccinating those who’ve had COVID-19: Cleveland Clinic study suggests
> 
> 
> The study findings reveal that individuals with previous SARS-CoV-2 infection do not get additional benefits from vaccination, indicating that COVID-19 vaccines should be prioritized to individuals without prior infection. The study is currently available on the medRxiv* preprint server.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.news-medical.net





BlueWoman said:


> Probably correct. But, I wouldn't recommend making any definite predictions based on an article that hasn't been peer-reviewed (yet), nor replicated. We should wait until there are few more studies that say the same or similar things. But this does look promising. And it's extremely useful information for countries that don't have access to the vaccine the way we in the US do.


This is exactly why I want to wait. There is so much new information being thrown out each and every day. Scientist are moving fast to get their research out there that many of the studies are being published without review. I understand why this is happening - we're living in unprecedented times. I prefer to be conservative on this decision and wait.


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## Lila

Blondilocks said:


> You just have to be proud of the kid!
> 
> Which puts him around 6'5"? And, he's still growing.


Not quite. He's just shy of 6'2. For a while there he was all arms and legs. 🤣


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## SpinyNorman

jlg07 said:


> But they can ANYWAY - getting the vaccine doesn't mean you don't GET covid -- it just reduces the severity of it.
> Does NOT mean you can't give it to someone else...


You are correct that vaccinated individuals can get and transmit it, but according to the CDC:
"A growing body of evidence indicates that people fully vaccinated with an mRNA vaccine (Pfizer-BioNTech and Moderna) are less likely to have asymptomatic infection or to transmit SARS-CoV-2 to others."
CDC link
So I take exception to "it just reduces the severity of it.", it seems to also reduce the likelihood of transmission.


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## PieceOfSky

Lila said:


> Now if I could just get his father to stop arguing with me. I don't want to ruin our good co parenting relationship but he's starting to get on my nerves.


Have you directly talked to ex about the possibility his behavior on this is driven by something to do with the gf, consciously or less than consciously?

And that you don’t want this to undermine your good co-parenting relationship?

Might be worth pointing out to ex that your son is smart enough to see through hidden agendas, if it turns out gf is a factor. And it’ll be a disappointment to son if he senses Dad is putting gf’s interests above son’s.

Any chance son’s solid stance on this was a reaction to Dad or gf already trying to twist his arm?

Fwiw, I suppose it’s possible ex’s gf isnt considering prohibitions against son to stay/visit, yet still might be truly concerned about health risk to son (as opposed to just herself) . That’s still a problem, just doesn’t require presuming the worst.


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## Lila

PieceOfSky said:


> Have you directly talked to ex about the possibility his behavior on this is driven by something to do with the gf, consciously or less than consciously?


No. It's all just a theory at this point based on 25 years of knowing my ex and the fact that he's only trying to push the vaccine on my son when the rest of his immediate family is unvaccinated. If I were to bring it up, he'd deny, deny, deny. This woman was his affair partner and I used that information to get a quick and advantageous divorce settlement. He's not going to admit to anything that I can use against her. 



> And that you don’t want this to undermine your good co-parenting relationship?


Yes. I told him that I understood his concerns but that as the primary custodial parent I needed to make the decision based on my beliefs on the subject matter. He keeps asking me to reconsider. 



> Might be worth pointing out to ex that your son is smart enough to see through hidden agendas, if it turns out gf is a factor. And it’ll be a disappointment to son if he senses Dad is putting gf’s interests above son’s.
> 
> Any chance son’s solid stance on this was a reaction to Dad or gf already trying to twist his arm?


I don't think so. My son thinks the world of his dad. He's indifferent to the girlfriend but he loves his dad very much. If the choice is not to spend time with dad or get the vaccine, he would probably get the vaccine. 



> Fwiw, I suppose it’s possible ex’s gf isnt considering prohibitions against son to stay/visit, yet still might be truly concerned about health risk to son (as opposed to just herself) . That’s still a problem, just doesn’t require presuming the worst.


That's very true. She may truly be concerned about their health but it's hard to see it that way. 

I have said this before but it feels like my ex looks for reasons to drop boulders in my calm pond. Months will go by where things are calm then BOOM, he has to shake things up. I like stability and this issue is making me anxious.


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## EllisRedding

Hey @Lila - sorry to hear you have been put in this position. I can definitely see having two parents with differing opinions on the vaccine causing a huge strain. Whatever you choose, hopefully you go with what you believe is right for your son and not pressured to do something b/c of someone else. My wife and I have discussed this (as of now, only 1 of our 3 children are over 12) and fortunately we are on the same page that for the time being the vaccine is not going anywhere near our kids. Maybe at some point down the road as more data emerges we will change our mind. Of course, the concern where we live is that our asshat governor will eventually try to mandate it on all children in order to attend school. We are fortunate that if that does happen we are in a position where we can homeschool our kids (and have already discussed with other parents if need be to create learning pods) and eventually would look to relocate our family out of this state, but I do know that others unfortunately are not in that position.


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## Diana7

dubsey said:


> Citation, please.


When you read thousands of posts from parents on a news site saying no and one saying yes its pretty clear the strength of feeling.


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## dubsey

Diana7 said:


> When you read thousands of posts from parents on a news site saying no and one saying yes its pretty clear the strength of feeling.


No, it's not. that's not a representative random sample of the population. That's not how things work.

You won't even state your news source.

It'd be like getting a collection of flat-earther's opinions on something and saying everyone believes it. Look at how many people think the world is flat. 

Just stop it.


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## OnTheFly

dubsey said:


> No, it's not. that's not a representative random sample of the population. That's not how things work.
> 
> You won't even state your news source.
> 
> It'd be like getting a collection of flat-earther's opinions on something and saying everyone believes it. Look at how many people think the world is flat.
> 
> Just stop it.


This site is for expression opinions.....if you don’t like hers just say so, attempting to silence someone is not going to fly.

Plus she’s more right than wrong.....(see how I did that?)


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## dubsey

I'm fine with opinions.

I'm not fine with opinions stated as facts, and then not backing them up.


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## OnTheFly

dubsey said:


> I'm fine with opinions.
> 
> I'm not fine with opinions stated as facts, and then not backing them up.


Whether you’re fine with it or not is irrelevant. If you feel she’s breaking forum rules report her, if you don’t like her opinions, counter them....demanding someone to ‘just stop it’ is a weenie move. 

Carry on.


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## dubsey

ok, Dad.


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## dubsey

never mind. gonna get my hand slapped for the T/J


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## Elizabeth001

OnTheFly said:


> Whether you’re fine with it or not is irrelevant. If you feel she’s breaking forum rules report her, if you don’t like her opinions, counter them....demanding someone to ‘just stop it’ is a weenie move.
> 
> Carry on.


Shooting for a mod position?

Maybe follow your own advice…you have a report button too. 




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## Lila

EllisRedding said:


> Hey @Lila - sorry to hear you have been put in this position. I can definitely see having two parents with differing opinions on the vaccine causing a huge strain. Whatever you choose, hopefully you go with what you believe is right for your son and not pressured to do something b/c of someone else. My wife and I have discussed this (as of now, only 1 of our 3 children are over 12) and fortunately we are on the same page that for the time being the vaccine is not going anywhere near our kids. Maybe at some point down the road as more data emerges we will change our mind. Of course, the concern where we live is that our asshat governor will eventually try to mandate it on all children in order to attend school. We are fortunate that if that does happen we are in a position where we can homeschool our kids (and have already discussed with other parents if need be to create learning pods) and eventually would look to relocate our family out of this state, but I do know that others unfortunately are not in that position.


Hey @EllisRedding . Long time no speak 🙂. Sounds like the family is doing good. Can't believe your oldest is over 12 already. Time flies. 

I'm also very blessed in that my son goes to a very good private school where I live. I do not anticipate them making the COVID-19 vaccine a requirement since it's not FDA approved and I'm sure they want to avoid lawsuits. There are pubic school systems considering making it a requirement. That should be another interesting story I'm sure.

Several friends who live within city limits (I'm a suburbanite) created learning pods when the city school went 100% to online learning. They were so happy with the results that they have decided to continue with it permanently. I'm not surprised.


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## DudeInProgress

Do not let the sick cultists pressure you or your son into getting vaccinated until you’re comfortable and ready. if / when you’re comfortable with the risks/benefits, then go ahead. Until then, don’t.

Understand, we are talking about a new vaccine and a new vaccine technology with very limited long-term data and some concerning short term data. The CDC is currently studying vaccine related heart inflammation in young people, we don’t know all the implications of this yet. Maybe it will be something, maybe it will be nothing, but we don’t know yet.

There is also evidence of free-floating spike proteins moving throughout the body and concentrating in areas where they shouldn’t be, including ovaries). This is potentially very concerning and we don’t know the implications yet. You’re probably not hearing much about this because these concerns are being actively suppressed in the media.

The point is, the vaccine may be safe, but there is ample reason for concern so make your own calculation. 
If I were elderly or had some high-risk condition, I’d probably get the vaccine. If my child had a high-risk condition, I might even get them vaccinated.
But since my wife and I are very low risk, we are not getting vaccinated for now. 
And since children are at extremely low risk from Covid, we’re sure as **** not getting them vaccinated until we have more data.


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## /ˌlaNG ˈzīn/

My youngest did her research and asked to be vaccinated (Pfizer), though she still wears a mask in stores and other congested places. My eldest continues to wear a mask as a form of protection and has shown no interest in getting the vaccine. They use hand sanitizer when washing their hands isn't an option and when they come home they wash their hands and disinfect their belongings. I feel both of them have been very responsible during the pandemic. 

Whether my husband and I feel strongly for or against the vaccine, we felt they were old enough to make their own decision.


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