# help with sex life



## Bubbakaci1 (Mar 26, 2018)

i am 42, my husband is 44, he was injured in a accident in 2016. his back is pretty much gone!! were fighting workers comp but nothing is evolving and docs can’t or won’t do anything to help him!! for some reason, my sex drive is thru the roof, but he has major pain when we have sex. i understand that he is in severe pain, but at the same time, i still want him!! i want to be intimate with him!! i want what it used to be!! i struggle everyday wondering if our sex life will ever be the same or if it’s gonna be pretty much non existent?? we have been married 22 years and have been together 27!! this man is my life!! I’m so in love with him and now that my sex drive has rocketed, he isnt able!! what do i do??


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*If you truly love him, @Bubbakaci1 ~ go schedule a visit with a medical specialist and see what possibly can be done!

After all, if there's a will, there's definitely a way!*


----------



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I agree with arbitrator. There will be a way, or possibly even more than one way. It is quite, quite rare to have a person who is totally unable to have sex and to be intimate. 

It may not be "the same"..... you may have to adjust to a "new normal" in the physical sense.... but your level of togetherness and of satisfaction will be restored.


----------



## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

If intercourse is painful for him, can he still get you there with tongue, fingers, toys, etc? If both of you are willing to try alternate means, you can both give each other pleasure.


----------



## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Agreed. Where there is a will and a determination to find it, there is a way!


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Buy some toys.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If you haven't already, get a good workers comp lawyer immediately. They get a percentage of any award so you don't pay them unless you win, and know how to apply leverage on workers comp insurers to get the care and treatment needed, and sexual function may well be part of that treatment. There are many subtleties you can't begin to know or handle yourself. A decent lawyer will also likely get you a sizable 6-figure final settlement as well.


----------



## biwing (Feb 2, 2017)

My wife and I are in the same boat due to my prostate cancer and it's removal. I suffer ED but with my loving wife's help, we've developed oral sex as well as more cuddling and use toys on her to keep us both happily satisified. Sure it's not the same, but we are surviving happily. It took us a couple of years to develope a mutual schedule of time together and form a routine that works for each of us.

To the OP follow the advise as stated above and hang in there. If your solid in your relationship, you'll work something out to your mutual liking ................


----------



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

biwing said:


> Sure it's not the same


Guess what ???? Nothing, but nothing, remains the same, except the love and commitment you have for each other. Physical things have a way of going toward the wayside as we get older.

I also suffer from ED some of the time. And my DW, right now, is going through lots of pain in her knees (which need replacement surgery) and in her back (which needs fusion). But we have found ways of being intimate and giving each other sexual release.


----------



## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Get a few toys that you can use with his help or on your own....if he can get an erection and ejaculate ok...then use the toys on yourself and or on him to get off. 

If he cant get off because of pain. Then, use the toys on yourself with his help so he can pleasure you that way. 

Where there is will, there is a way. You have ha e to be open to the new possibilities.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dear OP;

There are even toys or medical devices that can create erections. Pumps with rings to keep things up are not uncommon. There are also lots of medicines out there like "tri-mix" that when injected into a limp penis are said to provide an erection to just about anyone. 

If giving him an erection and some form of hand, body part, oral release isn't in the cards, there is always prostate massage, cuddling, etc. 

Where there is a will, there is a way.


Good luck.


----------

