# Separating after 7.5 Years



## sunsetovernc (Jul 27, 2011)

I will be moving out next weekend. Husband and I will be married for 8 years in August. My story.
Married in August 09 after 6 months of dating. October 09 I found phone numbers on our Vonage phone service. The same number called multiple times while husband was home on lunch. Had my sister in law call one of the numbers: dating phone line. Confronted him about it; he said he just calls to listen to the ads for entertainment purposes. Over the next few years, I've found multiple dating profiles set up, craigslist ads posted, numerous email accounts that he talks to random strangers, men and women, about sex and fantasies. Straw that broke the camel's back? He shared a real pic of my daughter with some stranger he was emailing and said they'd hooked up. She's 21, so an adult, but still my daughter, his step-daughter. I've realized now that he has some SERIOUS issues that won't go away on their own; he needs professional help. My ic said YEARS of professional help.

I've cried, gotten angry, and found my own place. He thinks that once he gets help, this will blow over. He's more optimistic than I am. I think when we separate, it is done. I've lived for years with this side of him. I've decided that we're better off alone.

It's going to be financially difficult since I just bought a new vehicle (before I found all the incriminating evidence) and I will have to rely on my son's income as well (he's 20). I feel like a failure...not just at marriage (since this is my third and I've cheated before) but as a mother.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it's hard.

If you are married, you can probably get interim spousal support while the divorce is in progress. 

You should see a lawyer and soon as possible and just file for divorce. My bet is that acting decisively would help you feel a lot stronger.


----------



## SirenSong91 (Jun 14, 2017)

You're not a failure because you couldn't predict this behavior from him. 

I would be really uncomfortable with him using a photo of your daughter though. That to me is grounds alone for a divorce. I hope you can find some comfort soon.


----------



## sunsetovernc (Jul 27, 2011)

Thanks a bunch to you both. I feel stronger every day but when I'm on my own will be the biggest test. Will I fall apart? Or keep standing straight? I hope the latter.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You will probably have a few moments where you fall apart. But in the end you most likely move forward with your life and keep standing straight. 


This is up to you. You have the power to make your life going forward what you want it to be.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I have been divorced three times, too. (3xnocharm... get it?? lol) I understand how you feel, but you are not a failure. You married someone incapable of being faithful, he is who he is, that doesn't make you a failure. And that whole thing with your daughter's picture is just disgusting, that in itself is enough to end it. (they didn't really hook up, did they?? Geez I hope not!)

I'm sorry you are here, but you certainly are not alone.


----------



## sunsetovernc (Jul 27, 2011)

3Xnocharm said:


> I have been divorced three times, too. (3xnocharm... get it?? lol) I understand how you feel, but you are not a failure. You married someone incapable of being faithful, he is who he is, that doesn't make you a failure. And that whole thing with your daughter's picture is just disgusting, that in itself is enough to end it. (they didn't really hook up, did they?? Geez I hope not!)
> 
> I'm sorry you are here, but you certainly are not alone.


No, they never hooked up. And I really love your screen name. I can't wait to move out next weekend and be done with it all. Thanks for your reply. 


Sent from my SM-G935P using Tapatalk


----------

