# Just reconciled and need advice



## discouragedstepmom

Thought Please....

My husband and I have reconciled after a long break and he tells me he understands that our family comes 1st and that he needs to create boundaries for his X and he calls to tell her abt Xmas and we want his kids on Xmas Eve and she says no that if he wants them he can have them on Monday (After Xmas) he doesn't say anything to her, NOTHING!!!
And he tells me, why if it isn't going to change anything... i don't expect his actions to change her ways, but i NEED to see it in order to know he is trying to make things better for us... we almost got a divorce over all of this and his LACK OF ACTIONS and here we are again 3 weeks after he moved back in and he just says that he is sorry he didn't react... 

advice please....


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## Freak On a Leash

You gotta start from the beginning. :scratchhead:

Do you WANT him to have the kids for Christmas or is he insisting on it? 

When it comes to situations like this, when your husband has custody should be spelled out. If it wasn't agreed on legally that he can have his children on Christmas Eve then he has no right to have them on Christmas Eve. If he wants to change it, then he needs to go through the courts. That's what legal custody is. 

Do you now want him to see the kids? Not sure here on what's going on. 

I do know that this is why I'd never date, never mind marry a man with young children from a former marriage. Too many problems with the kids, the ex wife, etc, etc. 

You are going to have to come to terms with the fact that his kids and ex are in his life and as a result, your life as well. You married into this situation and should've been aware of the situation. Now it's longer just his problem but yours as well.


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