# New and afraid of marriage



## Lucky18 (May 13, 2019)

Hello I’m 27 divorced and my bf is hinting at getting married but I’m just not ready and I’m afraid he’s gonna propose soon. He knows I’m not ready but he thinks being engaged will change my mind idk what to do ?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Lucky18 said:


> I’m just not ready


If you're not ready, you're not ready. Period. Don't rush into this. If he can't wait until you're ready, then he is not someone you should marry.

Being engaged is not going to change your mind.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

I would be candid with him. Tell him you love him (provided that's true), and that you want to be with him (if that's true, too), but that you're not ready to get married again.


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## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

make it clear to him that you have feelings for him and that you feel right being together at this time but just aren't ready for M just yet. 

if he really loves you, he'll give you time to develop stronger feelings about M. please do not move toward M unless you have no reservations about it. if you're meant to be M, he won't go away. he'll be a bit disappointed but will adjust to it. 

my own son had a good relationship with a young woman. about a year into the relationship she thought it best to break it off and they were apart for a year or more. i personally thought it unfortunate for they were really a strong match (they respond emotionally the same way to things). after some period of time, it was rekindled. 18 months after that they were enthusiastically married last summer. he was 32. 

there is NO reason to advance at this time if you feel it is the wrong time. you're trying to build a life, not just a LTR.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Lucky18 said:


> Hello I’m 27 divorced and my bf is hinting at getting married but I’m just not ready and I’m afraid he’s gonna propose soon. He knows I’m not ready but he thinks being engaged will change my mind idk what to do ?


Go for a long engagement?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Lucky18 said:


> Hello I’m 27 divorced and my bf is hinting at getting married but I’m just not ready and I’m afraid he’s gonna propose soon. He knows I’m not ready but he thinks being engaged will change my mind idk what to do ?


Don't marry someone who seeks to change your mind on something as important as whether or not you are ready to get married.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

State you are not ready. Say yes when you are. Be honest with him.


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