# Adding spice to my marriage



## scully2420 (Dec 4, 2012)

Hi all, recently I have found myself going on a website that basically promotes having flings and/or one night stands with women, men, or couples. I have created a profile and even posted very racy pictures of myself with the hopes of finding someone. 

I should mention that I have been married for 8 years but have been with my husband for 13 years. And we have 2 children.

Anyway, I have met several people men and women that want to meet me. I have even exchanged emails with a couple of them. I really want to be with another person but I don't want to leave my husband or physically cheat on him. I know that I'm already emotionally cheating on him. How do I approach the subject of possibly adding someone to enhance our sex life? I should mention that I really want to be with another woman.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

What's in it for him? Answer that to his satisfaction, and maybe you'll find a solution.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

You should be discussing this with your husband first and foremost.

While in a marriage it's not just important to be open and honest with yourself, but also your partner.

The steps you have taken though......BIG BIG MISTAKE!!! I suggest you get rid of all of it and just tell your husband how you feel.

He will be PISSED if he finds out you have been behind his back having emotional relationships. That's called cheating (gender is irrelevant).

Put yourself in your husband's shoes, how would you feel???

Also, STD is a REAL concern with what you are about to do. Be careful.

Anyways, I'm going to recommend to you that you put your sexual desires to the side and learn to ignore them. We ALL have fantasies......as an adult (one in a relationship) you have to learn to separate fantasy from reality.

I'm also strongly against open/swinging type of relationships. Watch your marriage crumble if you get another person into it.

I remember reading one of the woman here say something very interesting and I think you should probably think about it (I don't remember who it was, sorry).

She said, I'm bi, but just because I am, it doesn't mean I have to chase women and step outside of my marriage. My husband is the only one I want to have sex with.

Something along the line. I found that interesting and smart (and the exact words were much better than what I wrote above).


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

This will not end well. You're already cheating. He will find out. If you tell him you want to add a third person to your marriage, be prepared for a divorce. He'd be nuts not to divorce you.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Just think about how it made you feel when he did it 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...291-completely-brokenhearted.html#post1258561


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## scully2420 (Dec 4, 2012)

Thank you everyone. I'm going to take the advice and get rid of it all and end all online communication. I knew/know that what I'm doing is wrong and is eventually going to come back to bite me in the butt. I just needed someone that knows nothing about me to give me that push to stop trying to deliberately destroy things. 
I love my husband very much and I love my family. In the end I have to do what is best for them and put my crazy fantasy to the side. 
I think I am going to talk with my husband to see if he would like to try new things sexually just the two of us. 
Thanks again for giving me the kick in the butt to realize that I am being totally foolish and selfish. I appreciate it.


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## scully2420 (Dec 4, 2012)

Thanks Slowly Going Crazy...I needed to remember that.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

there are soooo many sexual new things out there to try. role play, light bondage, various toys, and on and on. If you were turned on by posting a profile, and thinking about what might happen, then role play might be up your alley.

There are sites with erotic stories that you can read to satisfy that vicarious pleasure. 

If your husband is not willing to up the ante, and you still have those feelings, there are erotic chat sites you can talk with other bi women on. The danger, obviously, is the temptation to turn talk into action. THAT should not be done without full disclosure and a hall pass from hubby.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

scully2420 said:


> Hi all, recently I have found myself going on a website that basically promotes having flings and/or one night stands with women, men, or couples. I have created a profile and even posted very racy pictures of myself with the hopes of finding someone.
> 
> I should mention that I have been married for 8 years but have been with my husband for 13 years. And we have 2 children.
> 
> Anyway, I have met several people men and women that want to meet me. I have even exchanged emails with a couple of them. I really want to be with another person but I don't want to leave my husband or physically cheat on him. I know that I'm already emotionally cheating on him. How do I approach the subject of possibly adding someone to enhance our sex life? I should mention that I really want to be with another woman.













*Bad idea? 

Ya think? *


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

Yup. Bad idea. She will regret this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

scully2420 said:


> Hi all, recently I have found myself going on a website that basically promotes having flings and/or one night stands with women, men, or couples. I have created a profile and even posted very racy pictures of myself with the hopes of finding someone.
> 
> I should mention that I have been married for 8 years but have been with my husband for 13 years. And we have 2 children.
> 
> Anyway, I have met several people men and women that want to meet me. I have even exchanged emails with a couple of them. I really want to be with another person but I don't want to leave my husband or physically cheat on him. I know that I'm already emotionally cheating on him. How do I approach the subject of possibly adding someone to enhance our sex life? I should mention that I really want to be with another woman.







This is a bad idea. It is very very bad.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

I am glad that you are deleting your online cheating.

Be upfront with your H and tell him that you would like to spice things up a bit. 

He should be very happy. I would love it if my wife wanted to spice up the relationship between the two of us.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

scully2420 said:


> Thank you everyone. I'm going to take the advice and get rid of it all and end all online communication. I knew/know that what I'm doing is wrong and is eventually going to come back to bite me in the butt. I just needed someone that knows nothing about me to give me that push to stop trying to deliberately destroy things.
> I love my husband very much and I love my family. In the end I have to do what is best for them and put my crazy fantasy to the side.
> I think I am going to talk with my husband to see if he would like to try new things sexually just the two of us.
> Thanks again for giving me the kick in the butt to realize that I am being totally foolish and selfish. I appreciate it.


Be clear and concise about what you want and what you expect from your husband.

"Husband, I want to try X and Y and Z. And I really want your A in my B and with C on top."

Own it. Be clear about it. And don't make him guess.


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