# told H he wasnt cutting it in the bedroom



## American Arrogance (Sep 5, 2008)

we had a discussion about our lovemaking or lackthereof and pretty much hubby comfirmed what I have felt for years. He just doesn't have time for me nor wants to make time. We have been married for 10 yrs. Ive done everything he asked without complaints and I have improved alot in alot of areas he really enjoys but I cant say the same for him. We lack intimacy, there is no such thing as foreplay. He is all about just getting straight to the point. 95% of the time I am left unfulfilled. Its so bad I'd rather masturbate than be with him. Whenever I ask for him to do something I like, he complains, he doesnt want to learn nor put any effort into performing it well. In the bedroom he has not improved.

When I brought this up to him, here are his excuses...I put too much pressure on him, he's too tired and has too much going on in his life right now (but he has no problems taking time out when he wants to be satisfied), he figured when he makes more money then he could devote more time to me.

We've been married 10 yrs. I confessed 4 years ago that I have been faking my orgasms. that hurt his ego cuz after that he would always ask if he satisfied me but he never did anything different. When we were dating he wasnt that great of a lover but I liked his personality. I figured he would improve over the years...I was wrong. I put up with this unsatisfying marriage, it has gotten so bad that I prefer masturbating.

I went above and beyond in pleasing him. Ive done all he asked and even learnt how to perform superbly, but I cant say the same for him. To spice things up for me and to at least be able to climax, I went and got my clitoral hood pierced. He hated it and complained about it. I still have it in and refuse to take it out because its the best thing I could have ever did to myself. 

Instead of learning to work with it he just doesnt even attempt. We dont touch, we are not affectionate and he doesnt flirt with me. But he tells me he is a big flirt and he is always like that and that he flirts with women at work.

Ive sent him text flirts, nudes of me. his response was he seen me naked for years, he doesnt know how to respond to it. So I said if some chick at work sent him nude pics I bet he'd respond quickly and his response to that was cuz it was something new. That pretty much hurt me when he said that.

I asked him for years about any fantasies he had, he said no but then a couple of weeks ago he confessed and said that they didnt involve me, he said one involved me catching him in bed with another woman. He said there were others but what he wanted to do to them he cant do with his wife. Another blow to my self esteem. He claim its not to hurt my feelings but he just doesnt see doing some of those things with the mother of his children.

Why, Why do some men think this way? 

Fellas, just because we married you doesnt mean we have to stop having the wild crazy nights. You never know your wife might want to be ****ted out a few times a month. Why wouldnt you want to do these things with your wife?


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## advise (Aug 23, 2010)

I think your hubby is insane. I only wish I had a wife with fantasies. My wife is similar to your husband. 

How do we all wind up in these noon compatible relationships?.?.

I would tell you to leave but I'm too much of a wuss to do it myself.


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## American Arrogance (Sep 5, 2008)

Well I am planning to leave him, I told him I want a divorce, this isnt the sole reason buts its a major reason as we no longer feel comfortable each other. Sex is very awkward, and we havent had sex in a year. I told him Im looking to be sexual with other men. I know what Im missing and I cant continue in a marriage like this. But as I said before others factors play a part in my decision to leave.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

Sounds like you have tried to work on this without and reasonable change. 

Get good counseling and think it through before taking this step. Unless you are omitting some great things it sounds like you are taking the right steps Get good legal advise as you should fight for what is best for you. Your husband sounds like a terd and sounds like your marriage is not worth keeping.


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