# The New Ménage Trois



## Piper502 (Jun 2, 2016)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201607/the-new-menage-trois

This article covers more than sex, but the third person in your relationship... Technology. Would love to hear thoughts! 


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

There is no doubt that technology has become very much a part of human sexuality. But I would argue that the possibility for a third party to sneak into a marriage and interfere with it has always been there. For instance:

• Self help books and sex articles in magazines can drastically impact a person's behavior in a marriage.

• Porn magazines and 1-900 numbers have been around since I was born. 

The one thing I think that is troubling with the younger generations just starting out is that technology has severely compromised nonverbal communication between two people. It is as if people are no longer comfortable being in someone's presence when there is no verbal communication. Instead of engaging each other with a wealth of nonverbal communication and playfulness, there is a 99% tendency to fill that time by staring into a screen of a smartphone until the other person is actively trying to get your attention again.

Badsanta


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

As if before we did not have portable music players, books, etc to zone out.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Google Glass Sex App Lets You Watch, Record Yourself In The Act It's like making and watching porn, of yourself, at the same time. I'll pass.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Technology definitely interferes with relationships. We have to consciously limit our use of technology (cell phone, Kindles, computers) to diminish the problem. Wife calls my laptop "the c0ckblocker"! When I hear that, I know it's time to make HER my laptop device of choice.


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

It's true that there've always been distractions that allowed partners to "not be there". Whether TV addiction, or the guy choosing to DIY all car repairs (in the 1960 and 1970s they needed a lot more than today) and being slow at it, or the woman choosing to spoil the family poodle instead of the husband (just naming the more common issues from the 60s and 70s).

The technology of today can seem far worse because the person who can't get off Facebook, email, etc, is in fact, choosing another person to be with, even while in the same room as the spouse. To most people, this feels more personal, because they can actually put a name to the "third person".

Just my view....


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## Piper502 (Jun 2, 2016)

DustyDog said:


> It's true that there've always been distractions that allowed partners to "not be there". Whether TV addiction, or the guy choosing to DIY all car repairs (in the 1960 and 1970s they needed a lot more than today) and being slow at it, or the woman choosing to spoil the family poodle instead of the husband (just naming the more common issues from the 60s and 70s).
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Yes!!!! This right above. It's most definitely more personal when a spouse is connecting with another person on the phone... Be it text, fb, etc... 


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Piper502 said:


> Yes!!!! This right above. It's most definitely more personal when a spouse is connecting with another person on the phone... Be it text, fb, etc...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Not the same thing, but I once heard a story among female friends where one of the three enjoyed bragging so much about the sex she was having, that she would call her friends during, set the phone down, and let them listen in on her action. 

In that story, the husbands of the two women that got to listen in on her sexual activities freaked out and forbid them from being friends with this woman OR seeing her ever again after discovering she was doing that with their wives!

I mean can you imagine... Oh my friend Sue Ellen is calling... Holy crap, listen to THIS honey! Next thing you know, you have engaged in swinging with your friends just by answering the phone! I mean, who would not enjoy listening in on that for a while?

Badsanta


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It sounds like the husbands were insecure. Maybe, thinking they couldn't measure up to friend's husband. Oh, wait, that sounds like women and porn.


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## firefairy (May 21, 2012)

Technology is destroying social interactions in all aspects. I look around my home and see everyone either buried in their phones or watching TV. It wasn’t always like this. I remember laughter and fun times before we became zombie technology slaves! We all complain that we are bored yet no one’s has any clue what to do to entertain ourselves, so we pick our phones back up. While I have been aware of this issue for quite some time, I never really addressed it because I look around and see most other households are living similar zombie style lives. Last night I decided to quit my phone during home hours/family hours 4pm-9pm. I realize its going to be rough at first because I literally have no idea what is fun anymore.. my phone has kept me bored yet content for a few years now. I am going to have to relearn life, marriage and parenting. I’m hopeful that once I relearn have to live without technology that I can share my learnings with my family and encourage them to put their devices down more often too!! Wish me luck!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Buy a Monopoly game and get the family involved. Scrabble is another good game. Set up a net for badminton in the back yard. Or, a free standing basketball hoop. Croquet. These all get the family together and off the couches and recliners.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> Google Glass Sex App Lets You Watch, Record Yourself In The Act It's like making and watching porn, of yourself, at the same time. I'll pass.


Thank you.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Married but Happy said:


> Technology definitely interferes with relationships. We have to consciously limit our use of technology (cell phone, Kindles, computers) to diminish the problem. Wife calls my laptop "the c0ckblocker"! When I hear that, I know it's time to make HER my laptop device of choice.


It really isn't hard to address.

For a dude, take charge. Grab the phone, and take it. Not in anger, in confidence. Lead your wife to the bedroom and take her. That is what women like. Confident and driven.

For a wife, if you can't seduce your husband, something is wrong with one of you. If a red blooded male turns down his wife, there is something wrong with him.


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## Piper502 (Jun 2, 2016)

firefairy said:


> Technology is destroying social interactions in all aspects. I look around my home and see everyone either buried in their phones or watching TV. It wasn’t always like this. I remember laughter and fun times before we became zombie technology slaves! We all complain that we are bored yet no one’s has any clue what to do to entertain ourselves, so we pick our phones back up. While I have been aware of this issue for quite some time, I never really addressed it because I look around and see most other households are living similar zombie style lives. Last night I decided to quit my phone during home hours/family hours 4pm-9pm. I realize its going to be rough at first because I literally have no idea what is fun anymore.. my phone has kept me bored yet content for a few years now. I am going to have to relearn life, marriage and parenting. I’m hopeful that once I relearn have to live without technology that I can share my learnings with my family and encourage them to put their devices down more often too!! Wish me luck!




Good luck indeed! I'm currently on vacation right now, (last day boo) visiting family in Florida. My H and I took his mom out to dinner. I purposely put my phone in my purse to work on being more present in life. 

So there is my MIL talking to H while he flips through fb... I am staring a hole in his head. He stops, engages his mom, less than a minute later messing with the phone again.

The struggle is real. 


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Much like cameras being off limits in the U. S. Supreme Court Chamber, there will be no cameras in my boudoir!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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