# Anxiety



## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Question for you all. After many years of debating, I think I'm going to take the plunge and enter the world of anxiety medication.

I tend to get upset or "freak out" when something breaks, or whatever equivalent trigger there is. I never lash out at anyone else, it's an inner thing. I can sometimes blurt out things in group conversations when I get overly excited or something. And I'm impatient, generally.

Has anyone with a similar demeanor or issue had success with medication? Were there side effects that bothered you? My son used to take Zoloft but said there were bad sexual side effects.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I'm sorry that you're suffering, @Gabriel. 😔

I've not taken medication, but I have dealt with pretty severe anxiety. 

Part of it is paruresis, which is an anxiety about peeing with other people around. Years ago, it got to the point where I couldn't even pee if I was completely alone in my house. To help with this, I went to a urologist and learned how to use catheters, so now I carry those with me.

Over time, this has gotten better, and now it's mostly an issue on planes.

But it's really a whole body thing, and when I'm stressed or in a new environment, my mind and body don't cooperate. 

And it's completely a mental thing that I do to myself. 

Anyway, just oversharing to let you know you're not alone. 🙂


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## tenjohn (Jun 13, 2021)

Gabriel said:


> Question for you all. After many years of debating, I think I'm going to take the plunge and enter the world of anxiety medication.
> 
> I tend to get upset or "freak out" when something breaks, or whatever equivalent trigger there is. I never lash out at anyone else, it's an inner thing. I can sometimes blurt out things in group conversations when I get overly excited or something. And I'm impatient, generally.
> 
> Has anyone with a similar demeanor or issue had success with medication? Were there side effects that bothered you? My son used to take Zoloft but said there were bad sexual side effects.


Do you have therapy?


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

I don't have therapy and don't feel I need it. Honestly just need to meet with an MD to can agree and assess it, and then prescribe. Though if that doc recommends therapy, I may go for a few sessions. I have a pretty good bead on the issue - but I'm curious to the experiences people have had with what meds.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Try to steer away from antidepressants if you can…unless your doc thinks that’s what’s best. 

Ativan has worked well for me for a long time. My doc gives me 1 mg tablets and I either take a half or whole depending on the situation. It’s my “chill pill”. I haven’t found it to be addictive although I’ve heard some folks say it can be. In my opinion, most things can be…all things in moderation. I like the fact that it is not a maintenance drug but an “as needed”. I haven’t experienced any side effects. It wears off nicely so that I don’t feel drained the next day. It is not as strong as Xanax or Valium…doesn’t make me loopy…just helps me calm down. If I take a whole one, it does make me sleepy but sometimes a nap is just what the doctor ordered 


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

I wanted to add that I don’t feel the need to take it very often these days since I divorced the dead weight and changed to a much less stressful job…go figure!

I do like having control over when and how much I need verses taking a chemistry-altering drug every day that has bad side effects. 


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Gabriel said:


> Question for you all. After many years of debating, I think I'm going to take the plunge and enter the world of anxiety medication.
> 
> I tend to get upset or "freak out" when something breaks, or whatever equivalent trigger there is. I never lash out at anyone else, it's an inner thing. I can sometimes blurt out things in group conversations when I get overly excited or something. And I'm impatient, generally.
> 
> Has anyone with a similar demeanor or issue had success with medication? Were there side effects that bothered you? My son used to take Zoloft but said there were bad sexual side effects.


Hi Gabriel, I'm sorry you're dealing with this, it's not a fun place to be in, but if you think you need help (therapy or drugs) don't reject it.

I've dealt with anxiety most of my life but didn't take medication until my mid 30's, when I freaked out on the job and laid into a client. I've tried Lexapro, Wellbutrin and Cymbalta in a 5 year period. I stopped Lexapro because of a rapid weight gain and night appetite and I still felt "on edge". My doctor put me on the lowest doses of both Wellbutrin and Cymbalta and that helped me get control of myself in about a 2yr period.

I will warn you, while these meds do help a lot, ad I urge anyone who feels completely overwhelmed to use whatever avenue is available, I must caution that you feel numb. At the time, that was a lifeline for me, I was in a very stressful situation (marriage and health issues). However, I weaned myself of both medications over a 6 month period in early 2019 and had the WORST withdrawals of my life. It will take some time for you to know if a particular drug is working for you, and it definitely helps, but I personally didn't like the "numb" DGAF about anything feeling.

I think it affected my libido also, but I can't be sure (marriage issues at the same time), but my drive surged several months after I weaned off the meds. Currently, I avoid triggers (people, uncomfortable environments), use aromatherapy, meditation and keep my mind busy to manage my anxiety. I've noticed the massages I started having recently have also helped my mental state a lot, so if you're not ready for the plunge to drugs, you can consider some of those options.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Everyone reacts differently to these meds so it really is just trial and error. If you have general anxiety, Zoloft and Celexa/Lexapro are the first ones doctors seem to try. 

I've taken 5 antidepressants and only one worked for me. One did absolutely nothing, one made me too sick to want to stay on it, and two (Zoloft being one of them) made me feel manic then that crashed into panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. That happened a few times, I went off the meds, and it never happened again. 

Wellbutrin is supposed to be better for sexual side effects. I can't remember what it did, if anything, to my sex drive. 

From what I was told, if a med worked well for a family member there is a good chance it will for you too. I assume that goes the other way as well. So is there a different drug that worked for your son, parents, or siblings (if you have any)? 

I have a hard time recommending benzos to anyone. Once hooked they are hell to get off. I know they work for some people but I'd suggest trying therapy and learning coping skills before making that jump.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Gabriel said:


> I don't have therapy and don't feel I need it. Honestly just need to meet with an MD to can agree and assess it, and then prescribe. Though if that doc recommends therapy, I may go for a few sessions. I have a pretty good bead on the issue - but I'm curious to the experiences people have had with what meds.


I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I would definitely recommend other avenues over medication. There isn't really a pill for everything, at least not without adverse effects. 

I was in severe pain and was treated like a human test subject to see if off label drugs could help instead of pain meds. Many were anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds. Every one had side effects. Then you have to wean off before starting a new one, to see what the next side effect will be. One made me extremely agitated, even angry. One made me want to eat all the time. One caused memory loss -which I still have issues with now. I would never want to take any of them for anxiety. 

Some people swear by Cognitive Behavior Therapy for anxiety. You may want to research it. Some of the methods you can even implement yourself. It's sort of like learning how to capture your thoughts and deal with them in different ways before they become problematic behaviors. 

I wish you the best.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

I'm glad you're coming to terms with this. I took anxiety medication for a time, and then stopped it. I found that the meds, in addition to meditation, and just remembering to breathe deeply, helped a lot. Not perfect, but a lot. Now I don't have the time to do it. But a good app is breethe, if you want to add something to help you.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it.

My son and daughter, for separate reasons, have both taken Zoloft. My son said it helped a little, but it affected sexual stuff and he eventually stopped. It worked very well for my daughter's PMDD. But she is no longer on it, as she's now fully bipolar and only takes Vraylar now, which works very well for her.

I just don't know what to do, honestly. I have always bitten my nails, fidgeted, had irrational bursts of frustration. I am very impatient. When I am in a Zen state, I'm very Zen, and nobody would know anything was under the surface. I alternate between that and anxiousness - there is no in-between, if that makes sense. My work is the same way - I am either blasting through complex problems and amazing speed and accuracy, or I'm in "stop" mode and can't work at all for awhile. I am always fully on or zen/off, and it would be nice to be able to stay in between.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My exH was prescribed benzos. He was never able to get off them no matter how hard he tried (he got major panic attacks whenever he tried cutting back). He saw three or four psychiatrists and all of them tried different medications and combinations and doses but nothing worked to help him get off them. Everyone reacts differently but I’m not a fan after seeing what he went through and I’ve never been tempted to try them for my anxiety.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Gabriel said:


> Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it.
> 
> My son and daughter, for separate reasons, have both taken Zoloft. My son said it helped a little, but it affected sexual stuff and he eventually stopped. It worked very well for my daughter's PMDD. But she is no longer on it, as she's now fully bipolar and only takes Vraylar now, which works very well for her.
> 
> I just don't know what to do, honestly. I have always bitten my nails, fidgeted, had irrational bursts of frustration. I am very impatient. When I am in a Zen state, I'm very Zen, and nobody would know anything was under the surface. I alternate between that and anxiousness - there is no in-between, if that makes sense. My work is the same way - I am either blasting through complex problems and amazing speed and accuracy, or I'm in "stop" mode and can't work at all for awhile. I am always fully on or zen/off, and it would be nice to be able to stay in between.


Could you have ADHD or Obsessive-compulsive?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Ever considered you might be bipolar?

I have anxiety in varying degrees but I don’t have a zen state. No such thing in my world.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

GC1234 said:


> Could you have ADHD or Obsessive-compulsive?


Highly doubt it. If you saw my desk, you'd realized OCD is the last thing I have, LOL. 

It's really an anxiousness and overreaction to certain things.

Example, we drove to dinner, I was in a zen state. Traffic was bad and for the first 3/4 of the drive I didn't even care. But I started to feel the anxiety kick in as we got closer and our reservation time hit. Even though I knew they'd hold it 15 minutes and we'd make it. Now, I made a detour and got there a little faster, and my anxiety died quickly. But this was a case where I was totally zen leaving and a stimulus threatened that.

Another was when I was watching TV, lying down, totally relaxed. And something broke in our house that needed immediate attention. I couldn't fix it and it was 10pm. I actually didn't feel I reacted that badly but my wife said I was "freaking out". This made me realize that perhaps how I looked to others was different from how I feel I am presenting myself. Didn't feel great.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Do you sometimes feel anxious without anything in particular triggering it? The reason I ask is I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder years ago. There are times when I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin ... and there's not a darned thing going on in my surroundings that is out of the ordinary.

I can also tell you that doctors are very hesitant to prescribe benzos of any type due to their highly addictive nature. Short term? Sure. Long term? Nope. I have been weaning myself off Paroxetine (Paxil) for the past four months. Helped with the anxiety to a point, but not as effective as benzos. However, Paxil is a horrible drug to get off of. Even with tapering, I've had some challenges. I'm down to only 5 mg a day, so I'm almost home free.

A psychiatrist told me lots of physical activity/exercise can be beneficial in dealing with anxiety. I'm going that route now, after having spent 25-plus years on meds.

JMO.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I have taken lexapro. It helped with the anxiety but I had sexual side effects. I was able to get hard, but it would take me a very long time to orgasm and sometimes I couldn’t. My doctor said male porn starts take lexapro to last longer…


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

I had a cracker breakdown after one of my kids was born, anti-depressants made me worse. (I had tried quite a few before having kids. Always ended up suicidal, when despite my life story, I had never wanted to end it. Eventually, I was completely sedated for a few months the panic just did not stop and I went into shock. I remember them injecting me with something as well once a week, sorry a lot of this is a blur.

I didn’t get addicted to anything, and I was on the hard stuff lol. I weaned off in about 6 months? And then as needed if an attack was severe. And they were still severe for a few years.

Fairly significant child abuse that needed to be dealt with and I just couldn’t face the family or the abuser. Maybe why anti-depressants made me worse? In hindsight a warning signal that it was time for action? I was just too scared. I was also going to be put on anti-psychotics if things didn’t improve.

interestingly, seemingly an overnight cure when I finally let the cat out of the bag and went to the police, told my story and took steps for them to make sure he never came near me again. 20 years of anxiety that led to the crack up just vanished. Literally overnight. I don’t feel an ounce of fear or sad about what happened to me and I like myself a lot. 🤗

I wish the same for you on this journey, keep trying.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Gabriel said:


> Highly doubt it. If you saw my desk, you'd realized OCD is the last thing I have, LOL.
> 
> It's really an anxiousness and overreaction to certain things.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I hear you. I get the same way if I'm late to anything. I get really moody. But in addition to meds, do you think some sort of counseling will help? I'm not sure if you go already, but I find that it may help.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Seems every story is different. I'm afraid of them prescribing something and I get worse or can't come off without problems. I may go into it saying I'd like to try tactics without medication first.

What are benzos?

Regarding triggers....I have general anxiety that is heightened by certain things, like 

Work stress (i've spent a lot of my career ducking stressful situations successfully, but when they do come, I struggle to sleep, and nervous about life, etc.)
When things stop working. Internet goes out, appliance breaks, car trouble, or even smaller things like my phone screen freezing. I overreact compared to most people. Oddly though, some big things don't do this to me. I tend to be calm if there is a power outage or a health scare or injury. It's not totally universal. I also can be calming to someone else that has a big problem.
Being late
When a flight delay threatens my plans. Oddly, this is much worse when I travel alone. When I'm with people I'm less wigged out by that.
I used to go ape over sports - throw fits. I used to play a competitive solo sport (in high school), and my temper and nerves derailed my ability to perform up to my talent level. I also would get really upset watching NFL games, etc. But that has really tapered off as I've gotten older.
When I was a kid/teenager, I was obsessed with my hair and how my shirt was tucked in. Not anymore though.
I tap my foot a lot or bob my knee up and down at my desk when I think
Things that don't bother me

When someone bails on their plans with me. Whatever.
Weather changes, bad weather ruining something
Noises
Getting a bad meal or service at a restaurant. I'm forgiving in that way and let it roll off my back
I don't get offended easily by other people - it takes a lot for someone to piss me off
Getting bad news. I tend to take it well, unless it falls into a specific thing like a travel delay.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

I suffer anxiety/PTSD. I was on several different meds over the past 15 years and have finally stopped taking them. I feel much better being off of them and wish I had never taken anything, they really messed me up. I try to tell those I know to either try alternatives first and if that doesn't help then maybe something either short term or as needed. Benzos have their addiction dangers but are very useful for taking the edge off every once in awhile when the anxiety hits hard.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Benzos are a class of medications, such as ativan, klonopin, etc. - benzodiazepine's.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Honestly, I don't think you should dismiss the idea that this may be at least partially an ADHD thing. Impatience, blurting out or interrupting, restlessness, lack of focus, fidgeting (always moving), forgetfulness, distractibility, but also the ability to hyper-focus on interesting or challenging things.....all symptoms of combined type ADHD. 

Anxiety and depression are actually quite common in ADHD folks. Because the way their brains are wired makes them different, and the smart ones figure out those differences, take note of them and then worry about them. Then there's all the problems with both lack of focus _and_ hyper-focus. Your brain may hyper-focus on small things like being late, which of course can make you anxious. It's literally all you're thinking about _and your brain just won't let it go_. Other times, you can have a hard time mustering the energy to even try to focus, which can seem "zen" but may also be an actual inability to get the executive processes in your brain engaged with the matter at hand. 

ADHD is essentially just dis-regulation - the executive functions of the brain that control self-regulation work in fits and starts rather than on any sort of even keel. 

My son is very intelligent, but _absolutely_ a first-class ADHDer. As is his father, along with most of the men in my family. He figured out early on that some things were harder for him than they were for his peers, harder than they "should" be. That made him anxious about those things and depressed about being "weird" and "dumb" and "bad at X". He had anxiety and depression for most of his childhood, which we chose to address with therapy and coping skills in order to avoid medicating him any more than absolutely necessary. But he was medicated for his ADHD, because he needed that help to succeed academically and socially, which in turn made his anxiety and depression less pressing. At 21, he's now completely off his ADHD meds but still relies on the many, _many_, coping strategies I spent his childhood teaching him to use to master both his ADHD and the resultant anxiety and depression. He's also aware that if things get out of his control, he can re-assert that control through any combination of therapy and medications that he feels are right for him. Just knowing there's that fall-back position seems to help keep his anxiety under wraps a bit.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Rowan said:


> Honestly, I don't think you should dismiss the idea that this may be at least partially an ADHD thing. Impatience, blurting out or interrupting, restlessness, lack of focus, fidgeting (always moving), forgetfulness, distractibility, but also the ability to hyper-focus on interesting or challenging things.....all symptoms of combined type ADHD.


This is me all.day.long. I forgot to mention I have also been diagnosed ADHD. I used to take Adderall which helped, but I was exhausted when it wore off.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

The lack of focus hasn't really ever been a problem. But that's very interesting. I do take breaks from focusing, but they are conscious breaks. I've always been a very good test taker, high work performer, etc. When I am not focused, it's typically just laziness or procrastination. And the bobbing my foot or knee is typically while I'm focusing - I can lie on the couch for a long time and not need to move, lol


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Plenty of very high achieving, successful, great performers have ADHD. I just mentioned it as another avenue to consider or read up on, if you have not before. Maybe it applies to you, maybe it doesn't.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

I appreciate it very much. I'm in the process of getting set up with a center for some assessment and therapy to start.


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