# Does it ever go away?



## Bodhitree (Dec 29, 2011)

Looking for input about how to get over spouse's affair. It's been about 7 months now, and many days things seem fine. We have been in MC for 6 months, she quit job where OM worked 2 months ago, and she is changing. I guess the real doubts come in whether it was a PA or EA. She insists it wasn't either, but the facts don't back that up. At minimum it was an EA and I think she is at least willing to admit that. She acted so weird at the time nothing made sense at the time. I am working with her to rebuild, but some days I just get so depressed over what happened. And I still feel like she never told me the whole story as to whether there was sex or not. I've asked her over and over and get same answer- "no". She like shutters and says "gross" when I ask about that part. I saw the guy , he was like 15 years older, balding and had a huge beer belly. Says she was trying to make me jealous and was making it look like an affair. Only lasted 2-4 weeks at most was like she wanted me to catch her by going completely out of character about being gone late Saturdays etc. when it was happening - telling obvious lies. Many texts and phone calls with OM. People on this board say she's lying about the sex , but how would they know- and does it matter at this point of our recovery? They don't know her or I or our histories. Some days I really don't think that much happened, but then other days my mind races and says it did happen. Anyway, we've been together for 20 + years, never married, and now we're talking about wedding plans - I had been the one reluctant to marry in the past. I feel completely lost in this deal on days like today- any support is appreciated.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I don't think getting married is the solution.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I wouldn't marry her until you are positive that everything is out in the open.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

And why the sudden urge to marry her now after a 20-year reluctance?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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