# I need some advice....



## layla (Aug 20, 2009)

Hey there,

I am new at this but I just know that I need to take to someone, anyone... I just need advice and help.

I have been married for 5 years now, and my H and I have been together for almost 7 years now. We have a beautiful daughter who is about to turn 2 and I am 8 months pregnant. The last few months have been completely hell. My H has been travelling for work alot and this pregnancy has not been easy. At 26 weeks I went into premature labour and had to be rushed to hospital to stop it. Baby is doing okay just have to take things easy now.

The problem is that my H and I have talked and we know that our marriage is in trouble. We love each other very much we have been through alot but we are not in love with each other anymore. We are very much for each other.

We have decided to try and make it work for our children. Right now we are more like brother and sister and we both agree that we do not want to like without love and affection in our home. Is there hope for us??? Can we make it work?? I ask myself this everyday...

Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I really want our marriage to work out... I truly love my H....


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## mistake maker (Aug 7, 2009)

layla, the first thing I believe you need to do is think about you and the babies health. Worring about your marriage right now is not good for either of you. Once the baby is born, look into getting some help, either from a professional or a minister. Someone that can talk too the both of you without judging.


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## jdskr88 (Aug 11, 2009)

Layla:

I agree with Mistake maker, tell your husband you love him (even though it feels like just as a brother right now) and focus on bringing this baby into the world.

It might help you to read my reply to "What the Heck is Love".

Please, please try to get past this idea of loving but not being "in love", You say you're for each other and that you love each other very much. Don't underestimate these assets to your marriage. The grass always looks greener on the other side when your marriage feels like it's lost it's infatuation but seaching elsewhere to replace it is the road to distruction filled with pain and all kinds of problems.

Get to a counselor. Build on the foundation you have. You can get the spark back. God can heal any marriage and your's has a lot going for it.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I would NOT be making any love decisions if I were you. At 8 months pregnant your hormones are way out of whack and your focus is elsewhere, as it should be.

Revisit that conversation later.

Good luck with the baby!


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## layla (Aug 20, 2009)

thank you all for your advice.. I will wait for our darling to arrive before I do anything. Thanks once again....


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

he should be more understanding of your (and his) situation right now. this is a time when a man should back off and be supportive, after all, he help creat the situation. having children should immediately put the parents needs on the back burner until they get out of the completely dependent baby stage, it's your and his obligation to provide all the attention they need.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I believe that if you've had that love before for you hubby, that you two can get it back if you both really want to. It takes effort, though. 

I agree with the other posters....focus on your pregnancy right now. After the baby comes, then work on your relationship with your hubby.


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