# I think hubby is untrustworthy



## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

I just caught hubby emailed an old guy friend asking for his old fling's (from more than 20 yrs ago) email address and I am so mad at him right now for being so sneaky! He keeps on making excuses that his dad wants her email address when they were dining out coz he likes her. I told him that if his dad was really serious about getting her email address then why is he not contacting him about that and that was the last time they talked to each other. I keep telling him that he's just making excuses. He's trying to convinced me that he wasn't planning to contact her at all and it was just to give to his dad her email address. If if was just that then why does he need to delete his emails connected to that? He said that I might get mad at him and I told him that ofcourse I will coz he seems so guilty about hiding things from me. I told him that he's disgusting coz she's married and he is too and how would her hubby feel about it. He doesn't get it at all. He still keeps making lots of excuses about it and turning things around like I'm the bad guy. He said that he's not guilty at all coz he has done nothing wrong. I'm so mad right now coz this is not the first sneaky thing he has done behind my back but it wasn't about a fling last time. I can't trust him at all. Am I right to be mad at him? Pls tell me the truth. Thank you.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

I'm calling BS on his lame excuse.
You could try contacting his dad and tactfully bring up the subject about that lady whose email address he wanted..like if you are making conversation not asking a question. That way he doesn't realize you are testing and his son used him as a cover. Unless your H already alerted him and asked him to lie for him...anyway, worth a try, see what he says. Most likely would be "what lady? what email address?"

Ah, and if it's all lie, which most likely is, of course he's lost his right to privacy. You should monitor all his activity and he has to go send that woman an email approved by you to never be contacted again. Don't be soft about it.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

So his dad wants to hook up with his old gf? Does his dad normally date younger women? I'm calling bs on his too. That or he's a very helpful son 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

Hi thanks for replying. His dad is married. He said his dad "likes her" meaning not that way just like as a friend and stay in touch. 
He just emailed his dad saying that he's in trouble for getting his old fling's email address from someone. I told him that why google his old guy friend who he hasn't seen for more than 20 yrs and go through that just to get her email address "for his dad" ? It doesn't make sense. I told him that his dad was just making a conversation and he wasn't serious about really getting her email addy to get in touch with her. He never even emailed him about that after their meet up. I forgot to mentioned that his dad had met her more than 20 yrs ago that's why it got mentioned I guess. I told him that my mom was friends with my ex but I still have his email addy and I never gave her his email addy to get in touch coz I don't want any connection from him. I told him that that's the respect I get from him. I am so mad at him right now.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Confirms BS story even more. Ugh, sorry 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

How long have you been together with your husband? 
Sounds strange a father would remember a old gf if his son is now happily married.


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## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

I saw her pics before and she's not even attractive. He couldn't even look at her pics and he said that she was scary. I don't get it. I am a mother of 3 girls and still super skinny (petite), I am almost 12 n half younger than my hubby and I am a good mother and always responsible and he's even thinking of straying elsewhere. I know I am attractive coz I always get lots of attention, I just pretend to him that I don't see it. I have a twin sis who is a model. I just gave birth 2 mo.'s ago and that's hard work. This is the respect I get from him. Everything is a lie! Sorry if I sound conceited. I'm just mad.


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## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

richie33 said:


> How long have you been together with your husband?
> Sounds strange a father would remember a old gf if his son is now happily married.


7 yrs and we have 3 little girls. I know so weird. Even if it was brought up, I told him why let it go? Why go to all that trouble?


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## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

Just told hubby that I want a divorce! I woke him up. I can't belive that he can sleep while I'm mad. My kids know that I am so mad right now but I don't want to stay together just for the kids and being used. I'm gonna calm down n watch Bridget Jones Diary. I am so teary atm.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Has your husband ever cheated on you? Can you give another example of things he has done to warrant a divorce? Being mad is one thing asking for a divorce from the example you wrote is a stretch.


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## sfd'swife (Oct 21, 2013)

I agree, it does sound extreme to want a divorce over an email address. The email story does sound fishy, but that doesn't mean he's cheating - yet. It sounds like the two of you have a lot to talk through. You have three little girls to think about. Talk to your husband about going to a counselor together before you decide to divorce.


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## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

richie33 said:


> Has your husband ever cheated on you? Can you give another example of things he has done to warrant a divorce? Being mad is one thing asking for a divorce from the example you wrote is a stretch.


There were a couple of times that he did something behind my back but it wasn't about other women so it's difficult to trust him. We had a talk. It's been a couple of days that I've been so mad at him coz I can't trust him. He got me some gold earrings and a perfume so I'd forgive him. He even made the dinner special last night but I didn't eat dinner. I call it bribing. Anyways, I've decided to let it go but I told him that if there will be next time then I'm leaving.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

smooshie said:


> There were a couple of times that he did something behind my back but it wasn't about other women so it's difficult to trust him. We had a talk. It's been a couple of days that I've been so mad at him coz I can't trust him. He got me some gold earrings and a perfume so I'd forgive him. He even made the dinner special last night but I didn't eat dinner. I call it bribing. Anyways, I've decided to let it go but I told him that if there will be next time then I'm leaving.


Be prepared to follow through on that threat...


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## A_lady0430 (Oct 21, 2013)

Smoosh , 

I am so sorry you are going through this, like you I am also 12 years younger than my husband. I have a little 2 year old girl.I can relate to you, listen how was your marriage prior to this situation? 

1. How often were you intimate ?
2. Has he been unfaithful during the course of your marriage?
3. Is he verbally/physically abusive?
4. Do you have support from your parents or other relatives?

Before you talk divorce consider your children I understand that they aren't a sole reason to stay with him, but heck your children's needs must come before your own, that's what being a mother is all about. 

Let me tell you this website is incredible there are folks on here that are heaven sent. Who will give you very good advice, others not so much. Listen to the women and men that have gone through a divorce and explore your options. I know you are hurt and mad as you should be, but stay calm things will get better. You are young and beautiful and still have a long life to live with your children. 

Hugs positive vibes your way!


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## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

Hortensia said:


> I'm calling BS on his lame excuse.
> You could try contacting his dad and tactfully bring up the subject about that lady whose email address he wanted..like if you are making conversation not asking a question. That way he doesn't realize you are testing and his son used him as a cover. Unless your H already alerted him and asked him to lie for him...anyway, worth a try, see what he says. Most likely would be "what lady? what email address?"
> 
> Ah, and if it's all lie, which most likely is, of course he's lost his right to privacy. You should monitor all his activity and he has to go send that woman an email approved by you to never be contacted again. Don't be soft about it.


I emailed the woman using his email address and explained about everything. She emailed back saying that she will not email him ever again. She actually emailed him after their old friend gave him her email address. WTH? She's married! I told him today what she said on the email. I also said to leave it that and to not contact her again and I will leave it that as well. And if he does contact her again then he has no respect not just to me but to his children.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

You have a right to be mad and you have a right to feel he is being untruthful about his dad wanting the old fling's email address. I think you are correct here. My parents have not wanted to keep in touch with my old boyfriends and I don't know any parent that would, that is down right silly to think. I think he is wanting to reconnect as perhaps he might be wanting to rekindle an old flame and he is lying to you thinking he can pull this off.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

smooshie said:


> I emailed the woman using his email address and explained about everything. She emailed back saying that she will not email him ever again. She actually emailed him after their old friend gave him her email address. WTH? She's married! I told him today what she said on the email. I also said to leave it that and to not contact her again and I will leave it that as well. And if he does contact her again then he has no respect not just to me but to his children.


Good for you!!!!


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Your husband's story does sound pretty sketchy.

But judging from your content, you sound psychotic.

What's the background here?


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## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

Thank you all for responding


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## smooshie (Dec 29, 2011)

COguy said:


> Your husband's story does sound pretty sketchy.
> 
> But judging from your content, you sound psychotic.
> 
> What's the background here?


As I've mentioned before that this was not the first time he did something behind my back but it wasn't about other women. 
Ofcourse I sound psychotic coz I was very mad at my hubby.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

smooshie said:


> As I've mentioned before that this was not the first time he did something behind my back but it wasn't about other women.
> Ofcourse I sound psychotic coz I was very mad at my hubby.


Yeah that's not what I meant. You said that, which is very vague. What did he do behind your back that wasn't about women?


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