# Unknown Next Step



## go-sec (Sep 7, 2012)

After reading through some threads I realize my situation is somewhat similar to some but different in it own ways. I have been married for 4 years now had a child 9 months ago. In February my wife decided she wanted to go back to school to get her EMT certificate which I was fine with. While attending school I started noticing different things about her. She rarely wore makeup well now that was becoming a normal occurance. I noticed an individual would call her constantly I asked who he was she said it was a fire marshall from a different county who has been helping her study. She told me he was in his 40's and was joking about how he could almost be her dad. Well a couple weeks later I found her wedding rings were left on her dresser she is one to never take the wedding ring off. I asked her about it and she said she forgot to put them back on, well that night when she went back to school I found them again laying on the dresser. I asked her to stop having the man call and she said she would. After all of this and after her graduation while at work I was left a letter in my mailbox the letter was from a anonomous person it stated that everybody but myself knew that my wife was cheating on me. The letter stated the individuals wife caught him and my wife together multiple times and repeatedly asked my wife to leave them alone. After the confrontation the mans wife caught them together again. When I asked my wife about the letter she said that they only were hanging out and that I needed to try and move on because none of it was physical. A friend of hers that she works with told me that one day she had commented on the mans complexion and about the tanning bed he had in his house. She said she loved me and they were only friends and she cut off all communication with him. June she went out to California and was seen with a old family friend drinking together thats ok they are friends well when she got back she was acting different. One night while I was working we were on the phone together she said that she needed to feed our baby and would call me back. After two hours I called her back and she stated that she fell asleep and forgot. Well a friend of hers told me that the entire time she was talking to the friend from california. When I confronted her she said she didn't want to hurt me and make me think bad thoughts. I asked to see her phone and he had told her he wished she was with him and she said she did also. Another text said it was good hearing her voice and hearing her play with herself. She said that she didnt see that text she never did that and must have deleted it. I tried calling and texting him and he never answered. A friend reached him and he said it was to another girl but was not willing to speak to me. Well this week I received another email from the wife of the man in my wifes class. The email contained texts and emails from her and him. I guess the modern word would be they were sexting, she also sent him naked pictures of herself. From February there were multiple times that I asked her to be truthful and she kept saying it was nothing. Well when the pictures came and text messages her reply was that she was self concious about her body and liked the attention. There were multiple times through these past months I sat her down and told her I didn't care what she did just tell me the truth and I meant it I would had taken her back. Fast forward to today I feel betrayed I gave chance after chance and got lie after lie. Then when the truth comes from someone else she expects me to just accept it. After everything I felt no emotion when she was pleading for more chances. Every time I look at her I just see her sending these pictures and sexting this guy. I feel no sexual attraction to her maybe its because its all the animosity I have right now but I really feel nothing for her anymore. I cant feel any love for her the only thing I fear for is my son. on top of this these two times are not the only there were two other guys that I had to stop her before it went as far as these times. I really dont know what the next steps are I have a meeting with a counselor my fear is I will have trust issues from now on with my wife if we stay or the next relationship I have.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

You don' need a counselor. You need a divorce lawyer. 

You didn't set any boundaries with consequences. Your wife knows this. She engages with other men and you have allowed her to gaslight you about her affairs. Hence she continues. Move on you can never trust her, as she will never have respect for you. You can't love someone like that. 

Read this and get yourself respect back. 

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Good luck.


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