# Ladies: Does Cuckold word seems sexist



## changednow (Dec 2, 2012)

Let me explain, because I couldn't think of a better title. A woman cheating has a title, but a man that cheats his wife does not have a title? Or maybe I am unaware of the name. Just seems to me that there is, as what seems usual, a focus on men by giving that a title, not vice a versa. Cheating is cheating. Plain and simple. I object to men having a title for it because it seems as if that gives men who have been cheated on by thier wives entitlement to extra special pain and suffering. 

It's kind of a stupid complaint, but what my H's EA did to me was painful and I suffered too. It was probably the single worst thing I have even gone through.


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

I think the female version is cuckquean.


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## Athena1 (Nov 7, 2012)

I think the word cuckold is a bit dated, and our language is sexist in a lot of ways, especially older versions of it. 

But I don't think the fact that we look like a fool when our partner cheats on us is seen as any more a man's province than a woman's. We might not have as good a word for it, but I think the understanding exists regardless. Based on nothing but my small frame of personal experience.


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## N_chanted (Nov 11, 2012)

Yes the female version is cuckquean.


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## changednow (Dec 2, 2012)

thanks for feedback. I read a few posts in another forum in which the other men called another man one and I was secretly fuming. Now I know better. And I wish everyone did feel it is the same for either sex. But I didn't really see it on that forum.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

A man can't fool a woman into raising a child that isn't hers. That is technically what the name means.

When a man can figure out how to do that to a woman, he can get that title.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

OP............Cuckoos Birds hide their eggs in the nests of other birds, and then the bird that owns the nest will raise the Cuckoos baby birds (not knowing it). 

Over the years a lot of men have been fooled into : providing for, loving, sacrificing, and giving their time raising a child that is not theirs UNKNOWINGLY.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

How about "Cheated On"? 

Or the Cheater vs teh Cheatee ?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I like the name POSH. Piece of sh1t husband.

Two of my wife's acquaintances keep going back to straying husbands. We both look at the men as POSH. When I see them I just look at them with contempt. Both are total manipulators that hold down the self worth of these women so they think they have no option but to stay with them. One is paying child support because he knocked up the OW WHILE HIS WIFE WAS PREGNANT.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I must have led a sheltered life... I'd never heard the word until i came to TAM. Had to look it up.


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## vjgkam (Dec 7, 2012)

I think there is a misperception here of what a cuckold is. A cuckold is not a cheating wife, but rather the term given to the husband who allows his wife to have sex with other men, and most of the time while watching. 

A cuckquean is a wife who allows her husband to have sex with other while she watches.

Cheating husbands and wives who have sex with others without their partners knowledge are simply cheaters.

Thanks


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## N_chanted (Nov 11, 2012)

i can tell you this, currently......a cuckquean is not a woman who allows her husband to do this, but is a woman who lives with a cheating spouse. like it or not, he does what he wants, and she stays married to him. she may fight, disagree, put down her foot...but ultimately, she submits and stays.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

How about Bastard!


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

vjgkam said:


> I think there is a misperception here of what a cuckold is. A cuckold is not a cheating wife, but rather the term given to the husband who allows his wife to have sex with other men, and most of the time while watching.
> 
> A cuckquean is a wife who allows her husband to have sex with other while she watches.
> 
> ...


Agree, without respect to the proper/historical definition of cuckold, its contemporary lexicon would really seem to hone in on the element of “consent” and a lifestyle arrangement (generally associated with the BDSM community) where the husband condones and is an active participant (in a sexually submissive role) in his wife’s (cuckoldress) extramarital relations with another man (the bull).


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> How about Bastard!


Jacka$$
Waste of skin
Oxygen Abuser
Rat


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

Cuckold is a man unknowingly rising children that are not his own. He is not just cheated husband.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Numbersixxx said:


> Cuckold is a man unknowingly rising children that are not his own. He is not just cheated husband.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's a label that a man has to move very far away, (another planet?) in order to escape. Otherwise he will continue to run into people who know his "secret" and the next thing he knows, all of his acquaintances know.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

I've always used the term cuckhold to refer to a guy who's wife or SO brought home her OM's filth in her and had her husband make love to her. The ultimate F**k You to a guy. Clearly not the real meaning, but it was how we used it where I grew up.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

The accepted etymology is what an earlier poster said: It's from the female cuckoo, who lays her eggs in another bird's nest to have the chicks raised by the BB .

So, historically, it's not sexist, but for humans, if used in its older meaning, has to be associated with the male.

For me, it has a number of different word senses in its modern meaning.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

changednow said:


> Let me explain, because I couldn't think of a better title. A woman cheating has a title, but a man that cheats his wife does not have a title? Or maybe I am unaware of the name. Just seems to me that there is, as what seems usual, a focus on men by giving that a title, not vice a versa. Cheating is cheating. Plain and simple. I object to men having a title for it because it seems as if that gives men who have been cheated on by thier wives entitlement to extra special pain and suffering.
> 
> It's kind of a stupid complaint, but what my H's EA did to me was painful and I suffered too. It was probably the single worst thing I have even gone through.


The word has to do with who has the children. A woman knows a child is hers unless the hosptial messes up. A husband does not. It comes from the root of the word. From the cuckoo bird.

I am sorry for your pain. Cheating is bad all the way around. 

A lot of this comes down to the search for the better genes aspect. A woman is attracted by this theory, whether you agree or not, to the man who will provide her with the best genes ( as opposed to jeans ). Typically while she is ovulating of course. This is when woman may be attracted to a man different from her husband. During the rest of her cycle she may indeed be attracted to her more domesticated partner as he will raise the children. You can denounce this of course but this is the theory. Hence a husband may end up raising the children of another man who the wife chose for the better genes. This is where this term comes from.

In addition to this traditional definition there is the cuckold fetish in some men.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

vjgkam said:


> I think there is a misperception here of what a cuckold is. A cuckold is not a cheating wife, but rather the term given to the husband who allows his wife to have sex with other men, and most of the time while watching.
> 
> A cuckquean is a wife who allows her husband to have sex with other while she watches.
> 
> ...


This is the cuckold fetish definition.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

I believe the word is WITTOL.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

BjornFree said:


> I believe the word is WITTOL.


Yes.

A contented cuckold -- wittol


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Where I come from, the OW is always 'the homewrecker.' The WH or OM is a 'dirtbag.' The BH is 'that poor man' (nobody ever uses the word 'cuckold') and the BW is 'always the last to know.' The WW is very many things - we see those names on TAM every day.


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## changednow (Dec 2, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> Where I come from, the OW is always 'the homewrecker.' The WH or OM is a 'dirtbag.' The BH is 'that poor man' (nobody ever uses the word 'cuckold') and the BW is 'always the last to know.' The WW is very many things - we see those names on TAM every day.



Oh boy is that ever the truth. Last to know, I can relate. I was a total joke where my H worked. It was "funny" to his male co-workers, a joke to tease him about. 

I hear all the time, well wife must like it if she puts up with it. 

I have to say though, TAM is the worst place I have ever seen to try to get help if your the BW. We hardly exist. Its all about the men around here. Take a look at the threads, the biggest longest threads I have seen are regarding BH. 

No sex has the cornered the market around on the pain of betrayal. But, it's certainly a man's world.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Gotta say, I have never heard that word before.


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

Cuckold - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cuckquean - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

changednow said:


> Oh boy is that ever the truth. Last to know, I can relate. I was a total joke where my H worked. It was "funny" to his male co-workers, a joke to tease him about.
> 
> I hear all the time, well wife must like it if she puts up with it.
> 
> ...


A little bit of a threadjack here (apologies), but I wanted to respond to this.

My theory about the preponderance of the 'man hug' here is that men have much more trouble actually talking to people in their real lives about what is happening to them re infidelity. Women tend to have support networks that they are willing to tap even in humiliating circumstances. With the anonymity, a supportive social net for the men can develop & they really need this.


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## changednow (Dec 2, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> A little bit of a threadjack here (apologies), but I wanted to respond to this.
> 
> My theory about the preponderance of the 'man hug' here is that men have much more trouble actually talking to people in their real lives about what is happening to them re infidelity. Women tend to have support networks that they are willing to tap even in humiliating circumstances. With the anonymity, a supportive social net for the men can develop & they really need this.


I am OP, so feel free to threadjack. What you say makes sense, however I feel there is a lot of contempt for women,even those that have been the BS, amongst the men. I suppose it makes sense that they have rage and pain they are trying to express, and support that they need, there is manhugging and there is out and out mysogyny. For instance telling another man he needs to "train" his wife-insisting a wife has no right to be bothered by her husbands use of porn (to the point of ignoring her in bed)-claims that wives control thier husbands with sex-getting even by being with a younger woman-It bothers me to the point of leaving this site for good.


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