# Sleeping in separate beds



## richards (Jun 22, 2011)

Anyone in here have a happy marriage and sleep in separate beds? I'm considering it because my wife and I are on different schedules and I don't like being disturbed when I sleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

My H and I have had seperate bedrooms since our first yr of marriage. I'm a light sleeper and he snores


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

my husband snores, not bad all the time, he hogs the bed, the covers...gets up every hour to use the bathroom, and has no reguards for the other person that was sleeping....


no we have NEVER slept in seperate beds......and i wont either. thats the one time a day when he is calm, and lovin and cute and cuddly, i aint fu(kin that up, just cuz he likes more covers...


did you think of trying different beds, like a sleep number, or that memory foam, change pillows, make rules for night time habits, like bathroom, like not turning on the lights where you are..

and smoking and heavy drinking causes louder and more annoying snores, alergies also factor in.


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## Chelhxi (Oct 30, 2008)

We do and always have. He has lots of trouble sleeping and does all sorts of weird sleep-walking type stuff. Possibly dangerous for me. He's not used to sleeping with anyone and being overtired makes both of us cranky. Works out fine for the most part. We just have to make sure to get in enough cuddle time.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

richards said:


> Anyone in here have a happy marriage and sleep in separate beds? I'm considering it because my wife and I are on different schedules and I don't like being disturbed when I sleep.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What do you mean? Like two twins pushed together or early 60's sitcom two beds separated by a nightstand?


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

My wife and I work different schedules and much prefer seperate beds most of the time. Infact, she sleeps in our spare room which is on the other side of the house, and we have a happy sex filled marriage going on 3 years.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

richards said:


> Anyone in here have a happy marriage and sleep in separate beds? I'm considering it because my wife and I are on different schedules and I don't like being disturbed when I sleep.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have not tried this.

I can say that working on separate shifts from my wife caused my marriage some siginificant extra strain a dozen years ago. We did this for about 18 months. You do what you have to do though.

We did not do the separate bed thing. That was not an issue for us, thank goodness. Separate sleeping arrangements would have caused a lot more issues for us.

Good luck.


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## spitfire008 (Jan 13, 2011)

I can relate to this and she is using it to end marriage.I worked nites she worked days.We did this for special needs kids full coverage of children.Little guy has autism and sleeps with her and she snores.I drive for a living and need sleep.We would have our moment then I would bring lil guy up with her kiss her goodnite she said luv youand all got a good nites rest.Goddamn facebook she meets and old friend from 34 years ago.spends weekend at his place..Kicker eh? How about staying a week 2 months latter.Try walking that off.So now she plays the youve been sleeping over there for 3 years.And marriarge is over.HOw sweet...Me working 2 jobs doing 75 percent od housework and 70 percent of caring for kids.Actually 3 special needs kids and shes hang with her frinds.WHAT DO WOMEN WANT.IM turning gay from this moment on>>>>>>>>


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## Soupnutz (Jul 6, 2011)

Makes me think of my wifes great grandparents. Her great grandmother passed a few years ago but I was confused when I first met them. They were still married, saw each other every day but lived in seperate building down the street from each other. At first I thought they were divorced, then I thought maybe they were seperated and just didn't feel like spending the money or going through the hassle of a divorce. When I finally asked what was going on it was explained to me that when they are constantly together they drive each other nuts. But living seperately they could visit each other whenever they wanted and everything was loving. Kind of funny.


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## richards (Jun 22, 2011)

The reason I ask is because I work one week on, one week off from 7pm to 7am. My wife works m-f 8am-6pm. Her hours can vary. She's always waking me up when I try to sleep and stays up late. Her taking prescription diet pills keep her wired, but that's another issue. It's almost like she has no respect for me when I sleep. She turns lights on, blow dries her hair, banging cabinets, etc... Are marriage is on the rocks for sure but I'm thinking about making her sleep in the spare bed room which might help me get a good night sleep. I probably just need a divorce. If it wasn't for my daughter I'm sure it would have already happened.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marcy* (Feb 27, 2010)

richards said:


> The reason I ask is because I work one week on, one week off from 7pm to 7am. My wife works m-f 8am-6pm. Her hours can vary. She's always waking me up when I try to sleep and stays up late. Her taking prescription diet pills keep her wired, but that's another issue. It's almost like she has no respect for me when I sleep. She turns lights on, blow dries her hair, banging cabinets, etc... Are marriage is on the rocks for sure but I'm thinking about making her sleep in the spare bed room which might help me get a good night sleep. I probably just need a divorce. If it wasn't for my daughter I'm sure it would have already happened.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She is a little like my husband. He turns on the light when looking for socks, underwears clothes and he would wake me up in the middle of night if he can't find something or wants to criticize me about something he saw. I don't. I would stay in the dark for min. looking for whatever and try not to make noises or disturb him. We are not the same I know, and I get mad sometimes with him, but I never thought of sleeping in different rooms. He would not accept it, but either do I.


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## thunderbolt64 (Jul 18, 2011)

Sitting here reading this i got to wonder, and i'll be damned! we have been sleeping in seppart beds for over ten years..........
except for last friday she slept in the same bed as me. but not when i went up, after i sent her a txt and asked if she was coming to bed @ 2 in the morning!!............because her sister was in town and she was off working finally for a night...... (she works graveyard shift) and never get to see her.........she sleeps downstairs in the family room were i converted an old futon to except a twin matteres. (5 years ago). 
the two weeks her sister was here she did sleep upstairs tho. but i was up by then.........
forgot to add theres a major strain on our marrige tho.....
thunderbolt64


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Yeah, unless the marriage is firing on all cylinders, separate beds is not advisable... I was sleeping in the spare bed for (any stupid) reason, and before you know it we were basically roomates. It sucked and was probably a huge factor in the breakup.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My wife conks out at 830, usually snoring like a bear on the sofa in the family room. If she wakes up when I go up to bed, fine. If not, throw a quilt on her. At some point she will come upstairs I think. But if she conks out in bed, which often happens during an extended yakfest on the phone, I have to sleep somewhere else. She's left all the lights on and the TV and if anything changes, the slightest thing, she'll wake up and get completely wound up fuming pissed off at nothing. It will just keep me awake. 

Right now I happen to be in the middle of a conference call that will run another half hour. I'll rack out in the office when it's done. No point in poking the bear.


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## Hubby01 (Jul 5, 2011)

I've been getting up early to get some extra work done for a couple of weeks so I've been crashing on the couch so my alarm doesn't wake the beast.

She's sleeping better and since I'm not allowed to touch her, I fail to see the difference.

2 nights ago I was in the bed though so I could have a sleep in and she must've woken me up 3 or 4 times.

Couch comfy, bed (almost) irrelevant.


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## Lea2407 (Jul 14, 2011)

My husband and I did this for a while until we had to give up our spare room. We really liked it and will go back to it when we can. I am a very deep sleeper, so I'm not too bothered by anything, but he's a super light sleeper and apparently I'm not calm in my sleep. However, even though I never have trouble sleeping, even I noticed that I slept better during this time. And since we both slept so well, we were in great moods, so there was definitely no negative affect on our marriage.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

seperate rooms infact seperate levels


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

My h snores, gets up frequently and shifts positions a lot. But I cannot imagine not sleeping with him. The touches in the night are part of what we love about us. I know if he has had a bad night. He knows if I have. Sick, restless. Worried, in need of hugs, sex of course. I know him better by sleeping with him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Only time we sleep in separate beds is when we're having fights. Speaking of which, there seems to be basic 'bed manners' really that I remember being taught from my first girlfriend all those years ago...

- Sleep on side, you won't snore
- Find a position to stick with it, so you won't move around
- Find a position that restrains somewhat, less twitches

The only complaint I have about sleeping together is the damn heat sometimes. During summer I always end up falling off the bed subconsciously moving away from the missus' heat who seems to subconsciously seek something to hold.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

We have the heat problem too. Stupid foam bed. 

He can't stay in one position all night. Snoring is not his fault. I am just glad he is there and breathing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

I see this happening more and more and it irks me. My ex did that and it bothered me. If I get married again, I will weed out those that want to do this(and assuming we're under 55. Once you're older things change, and I'd be okay with it from that point on. I use my parents' 42 year marriage as a guide. That's when they started to sleep apart due to my mom's back issues).


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

richards said:


> Anyone in here have a happy marriage and sleep in separate beds? I'm considering it because my wife and I are on different schedules and I don't like being disturbed when I sleep.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I would love to sleep separately for a number of reasons

1. my husband snores quite a bit
2. he sleeps less than me and can survive on 4 hour sleep
3. he often has early morning flights, so leaves very early and wakes me up in the process
4. comes to bed late as he sits up to do some work

However, he would be offended. I love when I am away as I get really decent sleep. Sleep is so important.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

If I sleep apart from Odo, I sleep very poorly.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

I don't think I could do separate beds. It puts a physical distance between people and I feel like you'd had to value practicality (he snores) over closeness to agree to it. We'll do it now and hten if one of us is coughing badly, but they'll usually climb back in in the middle of the night.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Brains.........Brains..............


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Satya said:


> If I sleep apart from Odo, I sleep very poorly.


Uh yeah...

Wondering:

Were his mind is.
Where his hands are.

What if he gets used to this.
What if I get used to this.

It is the one time of day your spouse is within arms reach and for hours...THIS.

Sleeping in separate beds IS the beginning of the end of the marriage. Don't ask me why.


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## ThaMatrix (Sep 3, 2017)

I work 7 on 7 off days and nights. We always try to make time to actually sleep beside each other but sometimes it's impossible and we go a couple weeks sleeping alone. We're extremely happy and I think it's because we have sex a minimum of 4 times a week. Sleeping in the same bed is nice but regular sex is far more important.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

We have separate bedrooms to avoid waking each other. Its not as if we are missing a chance at spontaneous sex :-(


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

We did occasionally until I got my sleep apnea (snoring) under control. It's sooooo much better being back together. Like most couples, we're apart most of the day. Why would we want to be apart all night? Falling asleep spooning is one of our greatest pleasures.


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