# Depressed and Angry Husband - Need Advice



## CG0719 (Sep 30, 2013)

My husband and I have been married for seven years and each day seems to be harder than the last. We've had our share of ups and downs, but I am afraid I am nearing the end of my rope. He exhibits symptoms of depression and I don't know how to help him. He abuses alcohol - which isn't new. I just didn't know how bad it was until after we were married. He stays in bed almost constantly, accomplishing nothing. No help with our children or household tasks. He has severe angry outbursts over things that I would consider minor, like taking ten minutes in a check out lane at a supermarket or traffic. He has a very pessimistic outlook on life. 

He states that he is depressed but refuses to talk to a doctor about it. I love him and want to be there for him, but I help but feel that he is dragging me down and emotionally damaging the kids. I feel stuck because I can't force him to change or get help. What can I do?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Seek help for yourself and think about how you and the kids need to make it if he were out of the picture. With what you have described, it sounds like you live with a depressed alcoholic and it may get worse before it gets better. Take care of yourself and your kids.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Do you work and have stable income? If so, this is a plus, and the best thing to do is to start putting your focus on you and your kids and trying to get a exit plan together. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

My suggestion is for you to attend some local Alanon meetings and start looking into maybe leaving, if you feel you need to.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

He badly needs meds and/or therapy. We all know it's easier said than done, but you've got to reach a point where he has the choice of getting help or losing his family.


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## accept1 (Sep 23, 2013)

You love him and I believe you are not just 'saying' that so you have to think of some way of helping him.

You dont state your ages or how many kids you have or how long he has been like that. 

I would say call a doctor to the house. If he wont go the mountain you have to bring the mountain to him. He definitely needs one and you wont get any help on here. No one I think is a doctor here. 

I wouldnt give up too quickly. I dont really understand people not wanting to talk to doctors. What are they scared or ashamed of. A doctor has heard it all before. Do they or dont they want to get better.


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