# Joint home ownership after divorce?



## ForlornHubby (Aug 15, 2011)

Hi,

I'm in the process of divorce and, since my STBXW is going to stay with the kids the majority of the days it makes sense that she keeps the family home.

Unfortunately her earnings are not enough for her to take up the mortgage by herself and the market is awful at the moment to sell, so my lawyer suggested we consider leaving the house matter outside the divorce and maintaining the house as co-ownership for the time being (i.e. partners in real estate). Then, after the market picks up we can sell, with her having the right of first choice.

This sounds sensible in abstract but I'll be darned if I cannot think of a bazillion ways this will come biting me in the butt and me ending up never being able to get my STBXW to move to a lower-spec house of her own so we can sell and share the profits. I don't want to hurt my daughters in any way (or even my XW) but I just won't be able to rebuild my life properly if there's still that mortgage demanding my money forever more. 

I was wondering if anyone can share any warnings or horror stories for this sort of thing so I can be properly forewarned in taking my decision. Any suggestions on how I/we can handle the house would also be welcome.

Thanks!


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

I should think an attorney could draw up the necessary legal paperwork for you both to own the home jointly. It could include language that states that if Party A wishes to sell the house, the house MUST be sold. Party B may buy out Party A's interest at current market value, but if Party B is unable to do so within (insert timeframe), then the house MUST be put on the market and sold to the general public.

Attorneys do this all day long for people in LTR who are NOT married, for siblings, friends, real estate investors, etc. who are NOT married.

What SPECIFIC concerns do you have about this that we can address? You say you've thought of a bazillion, but I haven't thought of ONE.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i did this on my house with my exw.

in the divorce we specified that we keep the house jointly for 2 years then either we sell and split the profits, if any  ,
or agree to amend the agreement to go longer.


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## ForlornHubby (Aug 15, 2011)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> What SPECIFIC concerns do you have about this that we can address? You say you've thought of a bazillion, but I haven't thought of ONE.


Ok... maybe a bazillion is an overstatement  but, for example:

- Since she's living there, she'll be the one showing people around. She can say that the neighbour upstairs is a raver that brings the ceiling down partying every week effectively killing any chance of a sale.

- She decides to donate her part to our kids. This means I will then be forcing - not her - but the children to sell. Not only would that be bad form, I'm not even sure if that would be legal;

- She decides pure and simple NOT to move, regardless of what any legal paper says. Over here in Portugal courts are incredibly slow throwing out people that are RENTING a house, let alone people that co-own the house. Add to this the fact that, since my kids would be living there, I would have moral qualms about being a b*stard about it.

Ultimately the problem is that I believe my STBXW is ready to go to just about any lengths to keep her status quo/creature comforts. Couple this with courts that don't work and the leverage she has having my kids with her and the sky is the limit.


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## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

and what's wrong with your kids staying at the house? why uproot them?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Then don't do it. Force the sale now as a consequence of the divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ForlornHubby (Aug 15, 2011)

Honeystly said:


> and what's wrong with your kids staying at the house? why uproot them?


If I need to sell the house, I doubt the new owners would like to adopt my kids in the process.


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