# Should I be offended/upset?



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Soooo...

BF still separated from WW. You have to wait a year to file for D in my state which will be in January. He has a female friend who remains friends with the STBXW although the friend didn't approve of the cheating and sort of takes my BFs side... 

Anyway, he posted something on FB and she (female friend) commented. I also commented. Now I see he deleted it. My comment was one that was appropriate but made our dating relationship more obvious. I have made many other comments, 'likes', etc that he left alone and also made our dating relationship obvious but these were left alone (and she would have had to sort of BF stalk to find them).

Even if this friend knew we were dating and shared that with his STBXW I don't see how it would matter???? They are arguing over some financial aspects of the divorce as she has a retirement account she does not want to split (she had begun heavily contributing to it toward the end) but I don't see how it matters whether or not she finds out we are dating. :scratchhead: Maybe he thinks the friend won't feed him info if she thinks he's dating? 

I don't really worry they are dating each other as the reason he deleted. He's very open about any time they meet (they are in a mutual interest group) - I just feel like he's not "claiming" me. Maybe he thinks it's inappropriate/too soon? I have only met one of his friends and that was by accident - we ran into him and his date at a restaurant.

Not sure if I should ask him about why he deleted it or just let it ride and see how things go? (FaceBook creates issues for us older folks, too!)


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Just ask him.
Start your relationship in an open an honest way.
Communication is so important!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> Just ask him.
> Start your relationship in an open an honest way.
> Communication is so important!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sometimes the simplest most direct is the way to go, I know.


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

A good clue on what your relationship with him will be like in the future is to start asking/communicating now. If he's not open/honest having nothing to hide today; you can almost best he won't be tomorrow either.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Well, I asked in text as he is out of town on work for a bit. Tried to make it sound non-accusatory since I posted from my phone maybe it didn't go through. I just said "Did my comment not post to FB or did you delete? Was it not cool to post after ___friend's name___?"

We'll see...

Hard to find couple time between his work and my daughter. Seems like most of our time is 'family' time with her around and I'm not ready for him to stay over with her in the house. We definitely need more communication time.


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