# I want sex more often



## K_reyna (Jul 7, 2021)

Hello! I'm a woman with a high sex drive and my partner is not the same. I want to do it everyday and even more than once per day, that would be ideal for me but I understand that I should care my partner's pace too, but I'm frustrated. I started to believe that long term relationship and monogamy is not for me. I am the one who initiates the sex most of the time but I don't like it when I do, I feel much much more desirable if he does, but he rarely does. So I get mad at him and I feel that he is not attracted by me. He has a more busy life than me and sometimes he says that if I would be same busy as him I would not think about sex as much but I disagree. It is my sexuality and not only I accept it but I embrace it and I don't think there's anything wrong about me wanting sex so often, it's my body's needs. The hard thing is that in the long term relationship is hard to get it as much as I want or I'm just not in the right relationship since our libido doesn't match. In the first months of relationship we did it nearly everyday and even twice per day plus we had a lot of sexting. I like sexting too, I like it when he talks dirty and shows me that he can't wait to have me, but now he's like a different person, when I send dirty messages he answers very short and it makes me frustrated again. Since I got so bored about this situation, I started to flirt with other guys and message them and now I feel very guilty but I can't stop. Everytime when my partner shows me he's not in the mood to have sex with me then more I want to go to someone else. 
Does anyone here deal with a similar situation? Those of you who are highly sexual, how manage to get satisfied?


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## Ed3n (Sep 25, 2018)

Sex everyday, and even more than once a day, is rarely sustainable in a long term relationship. Learn the art of self pleasure.
I have a high sex drive, but would never expect my partner to keep me satisfied whenever I'm in the mood. It's unrealistic.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

When your husband finds out about your online cheating he’ll probably divorce you and then you will be free to have as much casual sex as you want. 
On another topic do you work?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Are you married?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

K_reyna said:


> I feel very guilty but I can't stop.


You have a decision to make. You will not continue to "feel guilty". If you continue to stuff your fist in the face of your conscience, a full-blown affair is going to overtake you just about the time you no longer feel guilty. That will rain destruction upon your relationship to your "partner". It's already starting to drizzle......



K_reyna said:


> I started to believe that long term relationship and monogamy is not for me


You may be correct. As long as you remain as you are now, you will not have any kind of successful LTR.

You call this man your "partner", not your husband. Please, whatever you do, do not marry this man, nor anyone else, until the "can't stop" has been put out of your life forever.

The TRUTH is, you CAN stop..... you just don't want to....



K_reyna said:


> when I send dirty messages he answers very short


In my first marriage, I was repulsed by my wife's behaviors. How she looked lustfully at other men and made comments about what she imagined about their physiques.

The marriage went "on the rocks" "D-day" came inside 11 months. She had no conscience left, whatsoever. She could not come to any place of true repentance. It ruined her marriage.
In retrospect, she couldn't have been successfully married TO ANYONE.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

K_reyna said:


> Hello! I'm a woman with a high sex drive and my partner is not the same. I want to do it everyday and even more than once per day, that would be ideal for me but I understand that I should care my partner's pace too, but I'm frustrated. I started to believe that long term relationship and monogamy is not for me. I am the one who initiates the sex most of the time but I don't like it when I do, I feel much much more desirable if he does, but he rarely does. So I get mad at him and I feel that he is not attracted by me. He has a more busy life than me and sometimes he says that if I would be same busy as him I would not think about sex as much but I disagree. It is my sexuality and not only I accept it but I embrace it and I don't think there's anything wrong about me wanting sex so often, it's my body's needs.* The hard thing is that in the long term relationship is hard to get it as much as I want or I'm just not in the right relationship since our libido doesn't match. *In the first months of relationship we did it nearly everyday and even twice per day plus we had a lot of sexting. I like sexting too, I like it when he talks dirty and shows me that he can't wait to have me, but now he's like a different person, when I send dirty messages he answers very short and it makes me frustrated again.* Since I got so bored about this situation,* I started to flirt with other guys and message them and now I feel very guilty but I can't stop. Everytime when my partner shows me he's not in the mood to have sex with me then more I want to go to someone else.
> Does anyone here deal with a similar situation? Those of you who are highly sexual, how manage to get satisfied?


It doesn't sound like you are LTR material, you mention he is your "partner" so assume you are not married. If so, do not marry him. If you are flirting with random men and messaging them you are already emotionally disconnecting from your "partner". It time, your "guilt" will disappear, replaced by justification.

IMO it is best if you never marry, because in every marriage or LTR, there will be times when the sexual dynamic doesn't match. If the HD person immediately begins to cast a lustful eye to others, the LTR is over.. Dating or some unconventional arrangement where you have multiple LTR partners seems the only stable option for you. I don't know what multiple male ltr partners with a single female is called, but suppose those sometimes work.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

It’s not unreasonable to want sex every day, even multiple times per day.

It sounds like you might have what is often referred to as a “dud” on your hands.

There are men out there who can keep up with that frequency and initiate as much as you’re looking for. Maybe consider throwing this one back.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> It’s not unreasonable to want sex every day, even multiple times per day.
> 
> It sounds like you might have what is often referred to as a “dud” on your hands.
> 
> There are men out there who can keep up with that frequency and initiate as much as you’re looking for. Maybe consider throwing this one back.


She doesn't mention their ages, but I have impression she doesn't work. Her partner has a job. So she is home alone all day thinking about sex, her partner is trying to earn a living. Multiple times per day might be difficult routinely if the partner has to work every day, especially at a higher pressure job.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I don't think that you are going to be a faithful future wife. Even if you meet someone who wants sex as often as you, things change throughout a long marriage. Things happen such as illness, accidents, depression, ageing, all these things may prevent sex at all for a time, or in a few cases permanently.

You are already acting unfaithfully and you aren't even married yet it seems. Unless you completely change your commitment and ideas of faithfulness, please don't get married.

Oh and if you don't work U suggest you find a job and get other interests in life to distract you.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> She doesn't mention their ages, but I have impression she doesn't work. Her partner has a job. So she is home alone all day thinking about sex, her partner is trying to earn a living. Multiple times per day might be difficult routinely if the partner has to work every day, especially at a higher pressure job.


For many years I worked 7 days a week 80 hours, sometimes more. It never stopped me from wanting sex twice a day, although it did stop my wife hahah.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

You don't mention your age, but daily (or more) sex is quite sustainable with the right partner (by your 50s it may decline as hormone levels decline). AND it is very possible to have a great LTR with someone who shares your high libido (that's my wife and I, for over 20 years, now in our 60s) - just not this guy. If he is great relationship material but not a great sexual partner, you can ask to open the relationship. If that doesn't work, then you may have to split up and look for someone compatible in this way as well. Cheating is really a bad option, but almost everyone who is sexually unfulfilled in a relationship at least _thinks_ about it; hopefully they choose a more ethical option.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> For many years I worked 7 days a week 80 hours, sometimes more. It never stopped me from wanting sex twice a day, although it did stop my wife hahah.


Ok. You are just tougher than a lot of us. Retired now, no problem for me, but when worked 80 hour weeks wasnt feasible for me. 

So OP needs find your clone or multiple less capable partners


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## Krissy1981 (Mar 26, 2019)

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting sex daily. I have a higher sex drive than my husband of 18 years. I choose to self pleasure rather than seek attention elsewhere.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Krissy1981 said:


> There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting sex daily. I have a higher sex drive than my husband of 18 years. I choose to self pleasure rather than seek attention elsewhere.


True but we don't all get what we always want. I would like to eat cake every day but it's not going to happen. 
You have chosen the right way to deal with it.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

K_reyna said:


> Hello! I'm a woman with a high sex drive and my partner is not the same. I want to do it everyday and even more than once per day, that would be ideal for me but I understand that I should care my partner's pace too, but I'm frustrated. I started to believe that long term relationship and monogamy is not for me. I am the one who initiates the sex most of the time but I don't like it when I do, I feel much much more desirable if he does, but he rarely does. So I get mad at him and I feel that he is not attracted by me. He has a more busy life than me and sometimes he says that if I would be same busy as him I would not think about sex as much but I disagree. It is my sexuality and not only I accept it but I embrace it and I don't think there's anything wrong about me wanting sex so often, it's my body's needs. The hard thing is that in the long term relationship is hard to get it as much as I want or I'm just not in the right relationship since our libido doesn't match. In the first months of relationship we did it nearly everyday and even twice per day plus we had a lot of sexting. I like sexting too, I like it when he talks dirty and shows me that he can't wait to have me, but now he's like a different person, when I send dirty messages he answers very short and it makes me frustrated again. Since I got so bored about this situation, I started to flirt with other guys and message them and now I feel very guilty but I can't stop. Everytime when my partner shows me he's not in the mood to have sex with me then more I want to go to someone else.
> Does anyone here deal with a similar situation? Those of you who are highly sexual, how manage to get satisfied?


You are not married.
Do not marry.
You may need to just end it and move on.
Quit cheating!!!!!!
Be faithful to him or break up.
The only chance this relationship stands is for you to talk to him....be 100% honest.
Let him know you need him to initiate more to feel desired. That you need more intimacy...sometimes 2 times a day.
Tell him how frustrated you are. Tell him what you told us.
Either he will try to meet your needs or he won't. If he doesn't move on and end things.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I would like to eat cake every day but it's not going to happen.


You don’t really want to eat cake every day then. It would be easy to do if it was important to you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

I brought up to my wife sex daily for 30 days. 30 day challenge. She said when do we start?...day 9 already...i said tomorrow! She laughed and with a sly smike and eyebrow raised, said how about an Anniversary challenge? Daily till our 25th Anniversary in May 2022. 

😋😜😁 Challenge Accepted!!!!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

what about porn and masturbation? if you can have one or two orgasms by yourself each day, the need for multiple love making sessions with him will be less.

there are some really great sexual toys you can play with....

the problem with flirting with other men, even just online, is that it is easy to make a misstep and actually end up in bed with one of them. why roll those dice if you do not need to?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

There is nothing wrong with your wanting more sex. However, there is a lot wrong with trying to change your partner in a way to make them do something you don't want to do.

That doesn't mean you cant try to negotiate with them on changes to your sex life. You might be surprised they may even enjoy more intimacy, but not in the sexual acts or positions you want. Still you might be able to figure out some compromises so you have can more of a different kind of sex and that might help in fulfilling your needs.

Good Luck.


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