# Questions about anal sex



## Cheryl88 (Dec 31, 2012)

I'm far from a prude but anal sex had never been anything I'd been remotely interested in, the whole idea just didn't quite sit right with me. My fiance had brought up the idea of us trying it on a number of occasions in the past but it had never been a particularly big deal & I was always able to just laugh it off & that was that. 

Last week though, we were fooling around in bed & it was clear he wanted anal & I decided not to stop him from taking that route so to speak! I figured if this is something he really wanted to do then I should let him & I suppose I'd be lying if I said at this stage I wasn't a tiny bit intrigued; the time just seemed right. 

However, it hurt - a lot. I cramped up the whole way through but kept with it as I assumed it'd go away, which it didn't. I didn't want to say anything as he was clearly loving it & when he came the pain did subside as we orgasmed together. 

He loves it so much that we've done it 4 more times since then.

My main problem is the pain isn't lessening the more we do it as I hoped it might & on the mornings after I'm finding I get the runs & particularly uncomfortable cramping. Is this normal & will my body be able to adjust to it or is it a sign that I need to stop this altogether? 

I would hate to completely stop something that he gets so much enjoyment from, he does so much for me that I feel I should give a little back, but if my body is reacting badly to it then I really don't have a choice.

Any advice/tips about how to make this a more pleasurable experience for both of us would be welcome (if that's an option)!


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

It is already very good you two could have orgasm. You are halfway there.

Anal sex is a skill to be practiced and will take a while to train the spinchter muscles to relax and accept your husband's penis. It may take many trials.

Use lots of lubricants, and the man must be extremely very gently. Take small steps, for every inches of penis that goes in, allow for several seconds of rest. Add more lube when needed. And when the penis is in, allow time for the rectum to expand and accomodate. You must be in control. Tell him when to get deeper, when to pump, how fast, how deep, etc.

It is lots of work, but I am sure the rewards are there for you.

Good luck!


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## marriedglad (Dec 5, 2011)

don't do it.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Lube, lube and more lube. And go slow. He can't just go at it otherwise yes it will hurt.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

20/20 is hindsight (no pun) but normally you'd want to work up to this and it take a few tries.

Step one is to say it hurt the first time and it still hurts.
Step two is to reserve this for those extra excited romps and always use lube.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

When it hurts, you say "no Sweetie". Period. Then move on to a different position. 

There is no such thing as too much lube, and there are a variety of positions... Think of the logistics.... the position compared to the curve or angle of his penis, etc...


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

If he's quite large around... It's just not really going to ever get that great. 

I'm not particularly "endowed" and that has made it possible. While the V can open up an amazing amount, that's not true of "back there". If he's signficantly more than an inch across, it'll take a lot of practice, lube, and relaxation. 

Do NOT use numbing things to dull the pain. Pain is a warning that things are wrong.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Good for you trying anal with your hubby. My wifee won't, EXIT ONLY.

Could be a tear in the anus? Requires time to heal.

Could be you need a lot of lube?

Could just be his size.


I wish more women would be adventurous like you. :smthumbup:


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

I strongly suggest a lube called "Aqua Lube". 

It is, absolutely, the single most amazing pleasure enhancer I've experienced, and we've tried 10-20 different others, and it's in a class ALL BY ITSELF. Nothing else has ever come close.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I am not into Anal sex with my wife but I would suggest a small butt plug might help to get things started.I think Dan Savge had a good idea when he said tell your partner if I do it you also have to do it so another use for the butt plug.


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

It shouldn't hurt - we find that some positions/angles work ok, others don't. Maybe some experimentation to see if there are alternative positions you find more comfortable.

And as had been said, lots of lubricants - and SLOW. There should be no 'pumping' if things hurt. Hurt is a warning that damage is imminent or occuring.

Also, pain will stop you relaxing which will make it more difficult as well - viscious circle. You need to be relaxed and aroused before you start, not expecting pain.

(lose motions afterwards are normal - all that lubricant.)


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

hi, i asked my husband to try anal sex and I like it. I'd like to do it more. maybe we tried it 6 times or so in the last 4-5 months. However, there are some positions that are painful and I ask him to stop, then we change the angle a bit. it makes a big difference. it went from hurting and no way is he getting in there, to much much better.

i, too, had the runs one or two times. i think those were the times that it was a little painful, so we had to stop and try again.

are you saying you had an orgasm from anal sex, or was he rubbing your clitoris at the same time? if so, that's awesome!


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## Code-Welder (Dec 17, 2012)

Cheryl88 said:


> Any advice/tips about how to make this a more pleasurable experience for both of us would be welcome (if that's an option)! !


The ideas already expressed will help, but it the early phase of trying this it sounds like he was a little to quick.

Have him try the 1-2-3 finger method. Use lube, and insert one finger slowly, have him work that for awhile, then with a little more lube try 2 fingers. Keeping it very slow, this is going to take a little time, now finger 3 and some more lube and again tell him to take time and by now you should be more relaxed.

To many men want to just do one finger and a lot of lube and go for PIA. He has to be patient for the next few times you both try and and each time use this method to get your sphincter muscles conditioned for this type of sex. 

If he does not condition you, it can do some damage. Just put it to hubby that way. Tell him you enjoy this but unless he takes it easier and slower you are concerned about long term damage that may prevent this fun in the future. I use to give my wife long back rubs at the same time as the 1-2-3 conditioning.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

In addition to other comments: (1) proper cleansing both internally/externally ahead of time, (2) ample foreplay – yes fingers and oral (seriously), and (3) female on top so that you may control penetration. If you’ve already orgasmed from anal, it’s really just a matter of slow gentle practice and you will definitely enjoy it.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Dont hide the fact that it hurts from him. G ive him the chance to fix it. Read about the proper technique together and start off slow. If he leaned this in porn videos then of course it hurts. That does not need to happen. I am certain if he loves you, he would not want to hurt you.

Even with the proper technique it should not be done frequently. Also you have to control when and how it happens. Stop temporarily and learn the right way together than follow the recommendations. If you still don't like don't do it no matter how much he likes it. 

One thing you need to remember. This is for you and your husband and your continued happiness. . If you agree to do things that hurt you without telling him, you will eventually resent the whole thing and perhaps shut down. He will not know what happened. It is only fair to him and yourself to prevent this. 

Always have sex the is mutually satisfying. There are always ways to adjustments that can be made so that you are both happy. But you have to give each other feedback so you can have a long and happy sex life. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cheryl88 (Dec 31, 2012)

Thanks everyone. 

I’ve been in a bit of discomfort again today so I’ve let him know that “back there” is off limits for a little while until I’ve had proper time to recover. 

I think because it wasn’t really planned, and neither of us had done it before, we were underprepared and it was a bit more haphazard than it needed to be. Your comments have reassured me that it doesn’t have to be that way though & I’ve taken all your advice on board. We’ve clearly got a lot of practising to do!

Muchly appreciated! 



dubbizle said:


> I think Dan Savge had a good idea when he said tell your partner if I do it you also have to do it so another use for the butt plug.


I think I might have to suggest that just so I can see the look on his face!


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## JWilliams (Jul 2, 2012)

I have to agree with the 123 method. You must be relaxed and not tense at all. 

I have read that thicker lubricants are better for anal sex. There is a product called anal grease(I believe that's what it is called or just anal lube) it comes in a tub and is thick like coconut oil. 

I would recommend using a condom also. It will prevent him getting an infection and if it hurts he can stop, remove condom and go to PIV


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## being the best me (Apr 25, 2011)

Anal sex is not something you can just jump into

You need to work on it over a long period of time

I find that useing sylicone based lubricants work the best, they won't dry out or get tacky

Small toys fingures work well, but it takes time and patientance, years

I also like to use Anbesol Cold Sore Therapy Ointment before we even get started, its not the prymernory lubricant but it still a lubricant and a good vibrater (Eroscillator 2, pin point accuracy) the closer you get to orgazm the more forgiving your a$$ will be, but most importantly he has to take it slow

As far as the pain its up to you, you either like it or you don't, Pain = Pleasure? Time = Persistance?

I can tell you after years of trying and failures, time is of the essance

What we can do now is unbelievable ( John Holmes Dildos. DP w/ just as big & Fists) but it take time, Years!

I love my wifes a$$, there is nothing that freaks me out about it, I don't belive in cleansing before, it just makes thing more irratable, if there is dirt, i scoop it out (TMI), not to be groose but it makes for a more pleasureable expireince (No Grit, TMI), if he really wants to play it wont or shouldn't be a ploable ( if your going to dig in the back your your going to get dirty, but i was always tought if you going to do it right you have to be willing to get sweety and dirty, and your not doing it right if you willing to go all in)

On a pesonal note i love my wifes a $$ if you havem't figured that out yet , but with time and paitantence you'll get there! It's not a race but a marithon so enjoy it slowly, take your TIME and it should be a source of great pleasure for both of you

PS for All the Haters " A womens a$$ has all the same nerve endings as the VJ, so it will feel the same enjoment as it"


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

being the best me said:


> I love my wifes a$$, there is nothing that freaks me out about it, I don't belive in cleansing before, it just makes thing more irratable, if there is dirt, i scoop it out (TMI), not to be groose but it makes for a more pleasureable expireince


You scoop out dirt from you're wife's a$$?

Doesn't she take a shower on a regular basis?

Why would there be dirt in her a$$ anyway.

Even though for some odd reason you prefer her to be unclean while you have sex.

If that dirt is really poop, you're saying you "scoop it out"?

That's freaking disgusting.


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## being the best me (Apr 25, 2011)

Ifyou want to play, you have to pay

so f-off kindi


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

I don't play with poop.

In fact I go out of my way to avoid it.

You seem to enjoy it.

I sure hope you aren't my dentist


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## being the best me (Apr 25, 2011)

Shower has nothing to do with it 

Dirt is ther no matter how clean you are a$$

Some times there is residual, if you can handle the heat, get the F-Out the kitchen


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Note to self: NEVER LOOK AT THIS THREAD AGAIN


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## being the best me (Apr 25, 2011)

Your mouth is dirtier than you a$$, and the way you carry on i can see your is full of sh(^. 

I AM NOT GOING TO CARRIE ON WITH YOU LOOSER, SHE ASK FOR ADVICE, GAVE IT!


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## Monet19 (Jan 19, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> Note to self: NEVER LOOK AT THIS THREAD AGAIN


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## JWilliams (Jul 2, 2012)

I have had anal sex with my wife, both giving and receiving and have never had a problem with poop. I just go to the bathroom beforehand, take a shower... Together.... Wash her and tease her a little. It's great fun. 

When ever i show with my wife her but and books get super clean lol


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

being the best me said:


> Your mouth is dirtier than you a$$, and the way you carry on i can see your is full of sh(^.
> 
> I AM NOT GOING TO CARRIE ON WITH YOU LOOSER, SHE ASK FOR ADVICE, GAVE IT!


Settle, petal. There was nothing that outrageous in kindi's posts to cause such a rage. 

If you are happy doing the anal thing then all power to you, no need to be so agro.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

being the best me said:


> Your mouth is dirtier than you a$$, ...


That's just obvious nonsense. The rectum can be full of some very nasty bugs (parasites, bacteria, and viruses). Anything that comes in contact with someone's anus should be washed thoroughly before doing anything else.


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## Cheryl88 (Dec 31, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> Note to self: NEVER LOOK AT THIS THREAD AGAIN


Sorry, I can't help but feel a tiny bit responsible...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Cheryl88 said:


> Sorry, I can't help but feel a tiny bit responsible...


The content of this thread is very dark. And dirty. Frankly, the whole thing stinks.

:rofl:


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> The content of this thread is very dark. And dirty. Frankly, the whole thing stinks.
> 
> :rofl:


We have the "Like" Button. Now all we need is a "Groan" button....


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## Monet19 (Jan 19, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> The content of this thread is very dark. And dirty. Frankly, the whole thing stinks.
> 
> :rofl:


:rofl::rofl:


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## fluke (Jan 30, 2013)

Cheryl88 said:


> I'm far from a prude but anal sex had never been anything I'd been remotely interested in, the whole idea just didn't quite sit right with me. My fiance had brought up the idea of us trying it on a number of occasions in the past but it had never been a particularly big deal & I was always able to just laugh it off & that was that.
> 
> Last week though, we were fooling around in bed & it was clear he wanted anal & I decided not to stop him from taking that route so to speak! I figured if this is something he really wanted to do then I should let him & I suppose I'd be lying if I said at this stage I wasn't a tiny bit intrigued; the time just seemed right.
> 
> ...



I had to quote you. Your amazing not for doing anal but for the simple statement of 
I would hate to completely stop something that he gets so much enjoyment from, he does so much for me that I feel I should give a little back, but if my body is reacting badly to it then I really don't have a choice.

I think your an amazing person for this but i will say a few things. Anal isn't for everyone. I met a few girls down the line that preferred anal over everything. There are many different routes to take like the simple Google it to find ways to make it less painful. 

I will also give you one last tip don't let him decide when to do anal. Offer it to him it's like a forbidden fruit it taste so good but doesn't mean you should eat it. Offer it to him when you believe he did something amazing for you. Also it's best for you to cum first then allow him to do anal after your body has already came this may increase some feeling down there to allow your body to cum again even harder. 

But please remember anal is something you work into not something you get right into and go crazy.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

You need to bare down when he's entering you, like you're having a poop (sorry). This will allow him to enter you without pain. But he has to go slow and use lots of lube.


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## JWilliams (Jul 2, 2012)

*Re: Re: Questions about anal sex*



The-Deceived said:


> You need to bare down when he's entering you, like you're having a poop (sorry). This will allow him to enter you without pain. But he has to go slow and use lots of lube.


No. You need to relax. Baring down constricts the muscles making penetration more difficult and it will hurt. 

Once he gets starts you can bare down to make yourself tighter for him... Like PIV


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## Loyal Lover (Jan 30, 2013)

I have a weird question about anal sex myself...

are there any long term side effects of having anal sex (assuming you do it regularly for years)? Does the anus become 'loose' or change in any way, shape, or form?

or are there POSSIBLE side effects? If so, what are they?

Thanks in advance.


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