# What to do with a selfish, egotistic, physically conceited husband?



## star71 (Jul 20, 2010)

Okay, so H said for the first time that he wants a new life two years ago, new family, tired of his kids. The one thing I am sure of is that he is like this when he is under stress, or he feels jealous if we are having fun doing something and he is not with us.

He feels as if every woman wants him for his physical looks. I mean personally, he is attractive but he is so conceited about it. Constantly looks at himself in the mirror. I just tell him wow you're so worried about your looks, you should worry about improving your anger. He does not take me serious unless I am at the hospital or the kids.

He says he will do marriage counseling but he wants to do it alone and I do the same. what kind of counseling is that? 

I guess I am venting off and also asking will you ladies put up with it over 10 years?
I do not want to make a major mistake for my children's sake. However, I feel also that when I die I want to look at peace and not tired while alive you know.


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I think I see where you are coming from. And I have tolerated a narcissist for over 25 years. It is miserable living with someone with no humility. Counseling is a wise choice. Actually seeing the same counselor for individual counseling is a good idea. In fact, that's the only way my therapist sees couples. She said she got far more accomplished by not meeting with them together. Maybe you can call several offices and ask if someone has that philosophy.

My estranged husband's ego has virtually destroyed everything we ever worked for. When we made a lot of money ten years ago, it was much like throwing gasoline on a fire. He became even more self-centered and selfish. I have put my situation in the Lord's hands. You may want to seek help from your minister or priest on this problem also.


----------



## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

I think marriage counseling is a great idea... The above person suggested going to the same one, and I'll second that idea. H and I go together weekly, then also solo. There is no question that MUCH more progress is made during the solo sessions than apart. 

I don't know what to say about the other stuff...


----------



## mcneill1981 (Aug 11, 2010)

Your husband has issues, he could well feel insecure which is why hes looking in the mirror all the time, theres no excuse for the anger, he should speak to you if hes finding things difficult, or if he has something bothering him, some men dont really like speaking about their feelings but when they dont they end up isolating the people that love them, its obvious you love your husband which is why you want to get advice. Ask him to sit down and speak to you tell you how hes feeling, tell him you want your marriage to work but he needs to communicate with you, he probably says he wants to go to counciling alone because he has problems with communicating how he feels. Maybe he feels not good enough for you and the kids which is why he said he was tired and wanted a new life. Ask him what does he really want??? ask him is it a life with you and your children or does he want to be alone to start over??? tell him that your worth more and so are the kids and you all dont deserve to be treated this way.

Sorry if im ranting, a lot of people dont know what they have til they lose it and i really hope he comes around and speaks to you.


----------

