# Is it ok 4 a married couple to have a female in law of the wife move in?



## kiki85 (Aug 7, 2012)

I am in a situation where me and hubby(not yet married but planning) have been together going on 3 years. The entire time we have never really had any alone time with one another. The reason for that is because I was a caregiver for my grandmother which he understood and was there for us. We have 2 daughters and one bundle on the way. My grandmother just deceased last month July 22. Now 2 weeks later I have a female cousin whom is 21 yrs old with a son who needs to get away but has a home where she's at. She tells me that she needs to get away for just a week, but when I talk to her she's talking about getting a job and all while she's here. That sounds like she planning on moving in for a while. I cannot deal with this, I have a gut feeling that this is gonna turn out bad. I don't want my kindness blown up in my face. How do I explain to her that this lil arrangement isn't gonna work without really hurting her feelings ya know, because she's like a sister to me?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It sounds like you already have your hands full, and I would think twice about having the cousin come to stay for anything other than a short holiday. I would make it clear to her that you can only accommodate her for a week. 

I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings, because if she's like a sister to you she should understand (without being told) that you and your partner have only been together 3 years and need to be alone.

One thing I've learned in life is that we can't go through it considering other people's feelings _at the expense of our own happiness_.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

*do not do it!!!*


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## notperfectanymore (Mar 1, 2012)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

I did something similar...it almost cost me an 18 year relationship.....

PLEASE!!!! JUST SAY NO...they will understand


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Young female moving into your house... Recipe for disaster!

Temporary 1 week situation is fine, but no permanent situation!


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

I vote no too, you did more than your share, a young female with problems will create problems, you too deserve time together.


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## kate542 (Jul 25, 2012)

If you are not happy about her moving in then don't let her. 
With two children and one on the way you have enough to do without additional worries.
You'll have to say that you were so looking forward to now having time with your new husband after all the years of caring a time for just your family and could she make other arrangements. If she is an unselfish person she will understand.


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## Seraphina (Jul 14, 2012)

Unless she's already signed a lease with a move-in date of one week, I wouldn't let her move in. She may get comfortable and hope no one says anything about her extended stay. Once she's in, it gets more difficult to get her out. Besides, you have your own family to take care of. You can tell her that you and your husband need time alone as a family and fewer distractions while you're pregnant. As other posters have said, a person with problems will create more problems. Her drama will spill over to your household and that's something to avoid especially when you're pregnant.


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