# Boy...it's gettin' ugly!



## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Well...I've tried to be civil, I held out hope but its becoming apparent that I'm going to have to do and think differently. I was forced to leave, I've taken only what I needed (and believe me, its not even close to half) I've even supplied my H w/a list of bills, log in and passwords. He has changed all those passwords etc...some of which are in my name. He's changed the locks on the house, taken $200 out of the joint account but it appears he has another account to pay the cable bill that I was able to access b/c its in my name. So...I've made an appointment with an attorney to "officially" make this "offical"....

Anyone else been thru a separation? How do I deal with all this? I'm better than I was and I'm not crying every other second...I just can't understand how I've been with someone nearly 20 years and he's so cold. Its like he wanted me to leave but says he loves me and misses me...anyone???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Lets see, more or less forced to leave the house by the wife, credit card canceled, toll road account canceled, phone canceled (well, tried, I am still trying to keep my mobile number) some passwords changed, don't know about the house locks yet, have yet to be back).

Wont respond to email or sms messages, making it very hard to speak to my boys 

She has had 18+ months to prepare for the separation, I had no time 

I love and miss her and my boys.
How to deal with it all, ???, I am barely dealing with it myself.


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

Justagirl....I thought I was reading my story!!! I am going thru the same exact thing....it totally sucks!!! Thankfully I have this website to help me. The crying does lessen as time goes on....but I feel right now that I am taking 2 steps back.....my husband left a month ago after 17 yrs. of marriage....seems as if he doesnt even want to look back.....he only wants to move foward..... i hate this situation.


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## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

Ohhh Maaan so sorry girl
It sound awful 
That is what is killing me,why the horrible coldness.They get what they want right,they want to be separated so they ultimately win,why do they have to act like teens and be cold about it.just be nice and try to approach the situation in a civil way....especially when you shared life for such long time.... for some people is almost a whole life.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

denise1218 said:


> Justagirl....I thought I was reading my story!!! I am going thru the same exact thing....it totally sucks!!! Thankfully I have this website to help me. The crying does lessen as time goes on....but I feel right now that I am taking 2 steps back.....my husband left a month ago after 17 yrs. of marriage....seems as if he doesnt even want to look back.....he only wants to move foward..... i hate this situation.





vivea said:


> Ohhh Maaan so sorry girl
> It sound awful
> That is what is killing me,why the horrible coldness.They get what they want right,they want to be separated so they ultimately win,why do they have to act like teens and be cold about it.just be nice and try to approach the situation in a civil way....especially when you shared life for such long time.... for some people is almost a whole life.


just got an email 45 minutes ago telling me to make a list of furniture / appliances I want to keep asap, I have spent the last 1/2hr bawling my eyes out, even rang the local CATT (crisis assessment & treatment team) and was on the phone to them for 20 minutes.

Right now I see no future, out of work, 200k from my home, from my boys, from the cold heartless b..ch that I love to pieces


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## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

crankshaw....so sorry  (((hugs)))
You'll get through this , don't give up...just be brave and try to find that inner strength .We all have it and we'll find it at one point or another!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

vivea said:


> crankshaw....so sorry  (((hugs)))
> You'll get through this , don't give up...just be brave and try to find that inner strength .We all have it and we'll find it at one point or another!


thanks vivea, had a catt person here for 45 minutes, meds to be reviewed, not getting by on 3 - 4 hours of broken sleep a night! had a long chat (facebook) with my sister (also 200k away), felt quite a bit better after that.

Just trying to find that (consistent) inner strength, maybe if I can get more sleep (unbroken!)

But damn, that woman I married 15 years ago can be a cold, heartless b..ch when she wants to be 

p.s thanks for the hug !


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Guys..thanks for ur replies and stories. I must say we are all struggling to find strength and happiness...and its hard in our situations...huh? We've got eachother, and I find peace in that! If u look around this site, there are so many others who are right there with us...and even tho I'm going thru my own drama, I want to extend my shoulder to all of u, because we are stronger than we know! Our children are the ones suffering but I am gonna make sure my son sees me happy, and he's already seen a difference....
I just wish my H would have been a man and told me...well anything! Instead he refused to fight for me and my marriage. So...as of right now (almost 2 am) I am making a promise to stop worrying about him and focus on me and my son. Let the chips fall where they may and I'm gonna be happy darn it!!! This whole thing is like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, few moments of happines and hopefully one day, fewer moments of sadness. Its time to live! BIG. HUGS!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

:iagree: 100% 
(fingers crossed!!!)


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