# mediation soon



## jerez (Jun 20, 2011)

We have been together for over 12 years and married almost 11. We have a 2 year old child together. I have been trying to reconcile with my wife. Everything I have done does not work. My lawyer keeps slapping me on the head and tells me not to talk to her. I go back like an idiot and try to. We have been separated for almost 2 months. This is still a new wound for me. I tried talking to her but she does not even look at me. She stairs at the ground and says no, I can't. But, if it is about the divorce she lights up and goes on and on as soon as I mention our relationship she stops looking. We had huge life changes that wold bond people together but it means nothing to her. 

I keep having dreams of us together in the near future and I feel real positive. I have high hopes. I just do not understand how she can change without looking back at our life together. She is very anti-social plus she let herself go little, so do not think its an affair. I think highly of her and she is the mother of my child. How can woman just flat out 180 on a long term committed relationship? And perhaps find another wounded soul with kids and issues. I do not want to court another woman. I am done with all that nonsense. I am 100% committed to my wife, child and family. I would hate to close a huge chapter in my life. 

Currently, she refuses to talk to me. I am tried emailing, calling, texting, using other people as mean of communication. I get no feedback. I am still deeply in love with this woman and appreciate that she was willing to have my child. The only thing I have not attempted is to be quiet and move on. Every since she left she left me, my life has been grey. 

At first mediation she refuse reconcillition. They gave her pretty much exclusive access to the house even though she wants to sell it and I want to buy her out??? sole management conservative. I do not know what to expect for final mediation.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Sorry man, let her go. Don't talk to her as she has already sent you the signal and indicated to you she does not want communication from you. Give her what she is asking for. Karma is a b**tch. Don't let her pull the strings and dictate to you what she wants! You do what you need to do within the confines of the law. Stop communicating. If you are paying the bills, change the bank account. I bet you she calls you then. If you need to give her an urgent message that pertains to her, no matter how important - don't. Have the someone else give her that. If she want's to talk about your separation - do it on your time and on your terms. If she asks why you are behaving that way, tell her that is what you assumed she was asking for when she did not have the decency to at least ackknowlegde you. Take control! Man up!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Don't know the specifics but sounds like post-partum depression may be a contributing factor and I have to wonder how well she is coping raising your child? Motherhood is the most tiring job in the world and it sounds like she's burned out. My wife was convinced that I did not do enough to help with our baby, she didn't understand I was working 10 hour days plus 14 at home, that didn't compare to the 24 she was putting in.

If she has resentment about this it has already scarred her for life, and she really needs individual counseling to cope with it, but it sounds like it is up to her to figure this out at this point. This is all my presumptions of course, but you haven't mentioned your child care arrangement, but if you are feeling any guilt over what she is going through you really need to man up, be a strong and dependable father, focus on getting the things done that you need to get done is all I can suggest.


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## jerez (Jun 20, 2011)

Well, I have been considering the silent treatment but I just cant shut up. I retardly keep fueling her harassment filing because i just want to talk. I love the woman. I say to myself... Why can't consider reconciliation? Why is she going from married directly to divorce and not going through a process - family counseling, separation, etc? 

She took out about 30 grand and created a new account without me knowing. It is clearly premeditated. I think it was her lawyers advice. I checked the ratings on her lawyer she is pretty bad.

I usually go with 5 hours of sleep. I maintained the outside and then she started to complain that she was overwhelmed so I started to clean the house; all she had to do was the dishes and the laundry.... this was our agreement in order to have another child around this time. We were taking turns with bath time our child. Also, I was cooking twice a week. But, she still said she was tired all the time. I was working out 2 hours a day plus running 3miles 4x a week while she slept almost 12 hours from 7:30 to 7:30. We both work. Her commute was about a few minutes while my commute is about an hour. I had no problem with it. I will do anything for my family. I will not phase me. It just gives me a sense of accomplishment. She would complain about the mundane.

I guess she is content being single. I am not I am miserable. I haven't worked out since she started this nonsense. I do believe she has been depressed but as of right now she does not care about the family or keeping us together for our sons sake. She has told me this divorce is for her.

I wish there was a way to get through to her. I sent her flowers to her work and her lawyer said its was harassment and her client feared for her life, literally. 

My wife later told me she could not throw them in the trash because her co-workers would think something was wrong.


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