# feel like Im becoming the cheater...



## pinkladie (May 4, 2011)

He cheated on me and got chlamydia. He treated me so badly and didnt care when he hurt me. He left me at home with the kids while he was off with her or them. I still dont know the story and I dont know what to do. After he found out about his std hes been home. He takes care of the kids and spends time with me but I resent him so much. All I wanted was him to pick me, love me, and be with me. Now that hes been here I dont really feel like I love him anymore. Hes here but Im soo lonely. I feel like looking for someone to talk too. I want to feel excited and happy again. Now that hes home with me I just wish he would go away. I find myself thinking about all the times he left me...was he with her then? was he in love with her? was there only one woman? do i know her? is she pretty? why? what? uuughhhhh! Its so frustrating especially when he wont talk to me about it. He wont tell me why where who when. Nothing he says it will only get me mad or make me feel worse and that he wont do it again. *sigh I always get sad or feel like crying because Im so lonely and angry. I want to be alone...I dont want to cheat I dont want to meet new people and I dont want to be that person. Sorry just venting.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You need to talk to him about what is on your mind. 
I believe from your other post you said he would not reveal who the oW is to you. This is a major problem. He owes you that at least.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

It's still all about him even as he tells you he is shielding you?

This is why you are so disconnected. 

You only have his "word" that it won't happen again?

No wonder you don't feel warm and fuzzy. He has no credibility.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Sorry you are having to go through all of this. Many people on TAM can empathize though. Originally I thought I wanted to know all the details of my now ex-husbands affair. When it came down do it, I believe the greater thing I needed to know was, how could he do that to me or his family? I found a counselor who was experienced in helping others deal with divorce and also the fallout effects of adultery. She helped me to understand that his “choice” to have an affair wasn’t about me. When individuals are not happy about a situation, the methods in which they choose to cope with it varies from one person to the next.

If you have the means, I would suggest seeking out a good counselor. The fact he contracted an std and put you at great risk is quite emotionally damaging. You should go for yourself, even if he does not want to go to counseling. It really helped me to know I wasn’t going crazy. The roller coaster of emotions I had been feeling were very normal.

Good luck and hang in there!


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Show him the door, and tell him not to let it hit him in the a-- on his way out.

Hes protecting the ow. More than likely you know her.


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## pinkladie (May 4, 2011)

ive heard that b4. maybe i do know her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Are any of your mutual friends acting weird and/or have you ever felt uncomfy about how they are w/ your H?


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