# Looking for unbiased advice



## Dmomo

Hello all. 

Ultimately I'm looking for a little advice, from people that aren't biased and know us on a personal level. Everything said is the 100% truth. I don't know anybody therefore have no reason to lie. 

So we got married just a year ago July, and already in divorce proceedings. The first year of the relationship, we were together for a total of 3, was pretty good. There were some signs, but just overlooked them as I loved her. Then abuse started flying, Before I knew it, it was almost like she got comfortable slugging me, as she knew I wouldn't hit back. One time, there was a laptop cracked over my head, and ended up with a big gash. I panicked and called the cops as I was terrified.. And I'm a decent sized guy.. But she scared the **** out of me.. Anyways, cops come, and next thing I know, she's telling the cops I punched her in the stomach, which I did not do. She ended up driving herself to the hospital as she said she was having pains, she was pregnant. Ever since that day, she would say I killer her child. Completely made up, never touched her. Fast forward, more abuse, me getting locked out of the house on a regular basis, can not correct her child, I would actually get punished for it. Now I'm not saying I'm innocent, i can get loud during an argument, but I've never laid a hand on her. There were more false accusations that I abused her, but not going to get into it. 

So finally I had it with living with her, and told her i was going to file a divorce. What does she do, has to beat me to the punch, and filed before I had a chance. With her divorce papers, she filed ANOTHER bogus DV case.. I'm not sure what evidence she submitted, but the judge denied it 3 times, every time she'd submit new "evidence", the judge would deny. 

I also found out when i got the petition, that my name was forged on a prenup. I signed a prenup prior to marriage, i'll admit that, however the one that was submitted to the courts is falsified and forged. Even somehow got a co worker to notarize it without me being present, which i believe is crime in itself from what I've researched. She admitted today when she called that she took a copy of my DL in with her and the notary notarized it. 

So I'm thinking about filing a report with the state of FL's notary department about the notary. She was begging me not to as she will lose her job. I haven't filed it yet, but seriously considering it still. My soon to be ex wife does have a child, and chances are she will lose her job. At the same time, I'm thinking nobody cared about me when false Domestic Violence accusations were filed. I just passed my Series 7 not too long ago, and could have it revoked for violent crimes. 

It's a lot, but looking for thoughts. My family is obviously siding with me, and i refuse to discuss it with mutual friends even though she has tried throwing me under the bus with a few. 

Talk to me. Hope it all makes sense. 

D


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## EleGirl

Dmomo said:


> Hello all.
> 
> Ultimately I'm looking for a little advice, from people that aren't biased and know us on a personal level. Everything said is the 100% truth. I don't know anybody therefore have no reason to lie.
> 
> So we got married just a year ago July, and already in divorce proceedings. The first year of the relationship, we were together for a total of 3, was pretty good. There were some signs, but just overlooked them as I loved her. Then abuse started flying, Before I knew it, it was almost like she got comfortable slugging me, as she knew I wouldn't hit back. One time, there was a laptop cracked over my head, and ended up with a big gash. I panicked and called the cops as I was terrified.. And I'm a decent sized guy.. But she scared the **** out of me.. Anyways, cops come, and next thing I know, she's telling the cops I punched her in the stomach, which I did not do. She ended up driving herself to the hospital as she said she was having pains, she was pregnant. Ever since that day, she would say I killer her child. Completely made up, never touched her. Fast forward, more abuse, me getting locked out of the house on a regular basis, can not correct her child, I would actually get punished for it. Now I'm not saying I'm innocent, i can get loud during an argument, but I've never laid a hand on her. There were more false accusations that I abused her, but not going to get into it.
> 
> So finally I had it with living with her, and told her i was going to file a divorce. What does she do, has to beat me to the punch, and filed before I had a chance. With her divorce papers, she filed ANOTHER bogus DV case.. I'm not sure what evidence she submitted, but the judge denied it 3 times, every time she'd submit new "evidence", the judge would deny.
> 
> I also found out when i got the petition, that my name was forged on a prenup. I signed a prenup prior to marriage, i'll admit that, however the one that was submitted to the courts is falsified and forged. Even somehow got a co worker to notarize it without me being present, which i believe is crime in itself from what I've researched. She admitted today when she called that she took a copy of my DL in with her and the notary notarized it.
> 
> So I'm thinking about filing a report with the state of FL's notary department about the notary. She was begging me not to as she will lose her job. I haven't filed it yet, but seriously considering it still. My soon to be ex wife does have a child, and chances are she will lose her job. At the same time, I'm thinking nobody cared about me when false Domestic Violence accusations were filed. I just passed my Series 7 not too long ago, and could have it revoked for violent crimes.


I’m a notary. It is a crime to carry out a false notarization. You would do well to cover yourself by reporting that notary to the notary commission of your state, probably your Secretary of State. The notary should lose his/her commission.
However, you might also be able to use it as a bargaining chip to get her to admit to the court that the DV charges are all false. You can talk to a lawyer about this. Plus, if she loses her job, you might end up having to pay her support for a while. You were married for a very short time, so maybe support would not be an issue. Again, a lawyer can help you with that.

Is she still trying to use the fake prenup, or has she dropped that?



Dmomo said:


> It's a lot, but looking for thoughts. My family is obviously siding with me, and i refuse to discuss it with mutual friends even though she has tried throwing me under the bus with a few.
> 
> Talk to me. Hope it all makes sense.
> 
> D


Does she abuse her child?

Your situation sounds like a typical abusive relationship. It took you a while but at least you got out of it. The rule for abuse is the first time someone abuses you; the relationship has to end. If they will do it once, they will do it again and again and again.
I’m glad that you are ending this marriage. She’s clearly an abusive woman and you should not be anywhere near her. With her false claims of a lost pregnancy and DV, you should never be in any place alone with her.

Do you have a lawyer to represent you in the divorce?


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## Marc878

No good deed goes unpunished. File and let hat be their problem. If you got hit financially they wouldn't give a damn about you.

Ditch the Mr Nice Guy routine. It won't get you a thing


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## MJJEAN

Report the forgery to the office that licenses Notaries in your state.

Get a lawyer.

Do NOT interact with the she-demon you married. She's a freaking loon. ALL communication is to be with lawyer from now until the divorce is finalized. And you might want to think about a VAR and some camera's inside and outside of your house. Have the feed sent to the cloud so she cannot access and delete.


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## MattMatt

Report all crimes you are aware of to your lawyer and to the police.


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## Dmomo

Nope, shes leaving it in the case. Which surprises me because she will also get into trouble for forgery.

I haven't retained an attorney yet. Unfortunately not able to afford it as of yet.


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## Dmomo

EleGirl said:


> Dmomo said:
> 
> 
> 
> Hello all.
> 
> Ultimately I'm looking for a little advice, from people that aren't biased and know us on a personal level. Everything said is the 100% truth. I don't know anybody therefore have no reason to lie.
> 
> 
> 
> Nope, shes leaving it in the case. Which surprises me because she will also get into trouble for forgery.
> 
> I haven't retained an attorney yet. Unfortunately not able to afford it as of yet.
> 
> So we got married just a year ago July, and already in divorce proceedings. The first year of the relationship, we were together for a total of 3, was pretty good. There were some signs, but just overlooked them as I loved her. Then abuse started flying, Before I knew it, it was almost like she got comfortable slugging me, as she knew I wouldn't hit back. One time, there was a laptop cracked over my head, and ended up with a big gash. I panicked and called the cops as I was terrified.. And I'm a decent sized guy.. But she scared the **** out of me.. Anyways, cops come, and next thing I know, she's telling the cops I punched her in the stomach, which I did not do. She ended up driving herself to the hospital as she said she was having pains, she was pregnant. Ever since that day, she would say I killer her child. Completely made up, never touched her. Fast forward, more abuse, me getting locked out of the house on a regular basis, can not correct her child, I would actually get punished for it. Now I'm not saying I'm innocent, i can get loud during an argument, but I've never laid a hand on her. There were more false accusations that I abused her, but not going to get into it.
> 
> So finally I had it with living with her, and told her i was going to file a divorce. What does she do, has to beat me to the punch, and filed before I had a chance. With her divorce papers, she filed ANOTHER bogus DV case.. I'm not sure what evidence she submitted, but the judge denied it 3 times, every time she'd submit new "evidence", the judge would deny.
> 
> I also found out when i got the petition, that my name was forged on a prenup. I signed a prenup prior to marriage, i'll admit that, however the one that was submitted to the courts is falsified and forged. Even somehow got a co worker to notarize it without me being present, which i believe is crime in itself from what I've researched. She admitted today when she called that she took a copy of my DL in with her and the notary notarized it.
> 
> So I'm thinking about filing a report with the state of FL's notary department about the notary. She was begging me not to as she will lose her job. I haven't filed it yet, but seriously considering it still. My soon to be ex wife does have a child, and chances are she will lose her job. At the same time, I'm thinking nobody cared about me when false Domestic Violence accusations were filed. I just passed my Series 7 not too long ago, and could have it revoked for violent crimes.
> 
> 
> 
> I’m a notary. It is a crime to carry out a false notarization. You would do well to cover yourself by reporting that notary to the notary commission of your state, probably your Secretary of State. The notary should lose his/her commission.
> However, you might also be able to use it as a bargaining chip to get her to admit to the court that the DV charges are all false. You can talk to a lawyer about this. Plus, if she loses her job, you might end up having to pay her support for a while. You were married for a very short time, so maybe support would not be an issue. Again, a lawyer can help you with that.
> 
> Is she still trying to use the fake prenup, or has she dropped that?
> 
> 
> 
> Dmomo said:
> 
> 
> 
> It's a lot, but looking for thoughts. My family is obviously siding with me, and i refuse to discuss it with mutual friends even though she has tried throwing me under the bus with a few.
> 
> Talk to me. Hope it all makes sense.
> 
> D
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Does she abuse her child?
> 
> Your situation sounds like a typical abusive relationship. It took you a while but at least you got out of it. The rule for abuse is the first time someone abuses you; the relationship has to end. If they will do it once, they will do it again and again and again.
> I’m glad that you are ending this marriage. She’s clearly an abusive woman and you should not be anywhere near her. With her false claims of a lost pregnancy and DV, you should never be in any place alone with her.
> 
> Do you have a lawyer to represent you in the divorce?
Click to expand...


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## wilson

Dmomo said:


> She ended up driving herself to the hospital as she said she was having pains, she was pregnant. Ever since that day, she would say I killer her child. Completely made up, never touched her.


How far along was she in her pregnancy and did you know about it? What did she say happened at the hospital that caused her pregnancy to end?


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## EleGirl

Dmomo said:


> Nope, shes leaving it in the case. Which surprises me because she will also get into trouble for forgery.
> 
> I haven't retained an attorney yet. Unfortunately not able to afford it as of yet.


Then you have to go after the notary to prove that you did not sign the document. The notary should have a ledger in which he/she records all the notarizations that they do. Not all states require them, but most notaries use them. In the ledger a notary records the type of ID and ID number, like driver's license number and the thumb print of the person who signed the document. So it should be easy for you to prove that you did not sign that document.

By the way, your wife committed a crime by participating in the false document. It's called forgery and fraud at the very least.


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## Lostinthought61

after all the crap that she put you through, hell yes bring her and the Notary up on charges. that is illegal and don't tell her you are just do it.


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## EleGirl

Something just came to mind.

If you don't have the money/assets for a lawyer, then what's the prenup about? If there are no assets then why have one?


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## WorkingWife

Dmomo said:


> So finally I had it with living with her, and told her i was going to file a divorce. What does she do, has to beat me to the punch, and filed before I had a chance. With her divorce papers, she filed ANOTHER bogus DV case. I'm not sure what evidence she submitted, but the judge denied it 3 times, every time she'd submit new "evidence", the judge would deny.
> D


Was she trying to get a restraining order against you, or trying to literally get you in legal trouble for physically harming her? If it was the restraining order, it's a good sign that the judge denied it because my understanding is most courts hand them out like candy with very little evidence because they need to error on the side of caution. So if a judge wouldn't even give her a restraining order against you they must have seen through her.

Regarding the notary - I _*almost*_ feel bad for that person, I'm sure your W is a manipulative psycho and gave her co-worker some line of bull as to why you were on board but couldn't be there, but what she did is illegal. There's a reason there are such stringent rules for notarizing. So things like this can't happen. But Elegirl is right - they usually take a thumbprint when you notarize something, so your wife may have had your DL info, but how could she fake your thumbprint. I would report this to the police. You might try using it as a bargaining chip, but it sounds like your W really is psycho in that she doesn't have a normal fear of getting caught if she's continuing to use this forged prenup when she knows you know it's forged.

How real does your signature look on it? *What is in this prenup that wasn't in the one you did sign? Does your wife have money? * The prenup is confusing if there's not a lot of money between you two.

*MOST IMPORTANTLY*
This woman is violent and volatile. Is her child in danger? I think you should be reporting her to CPS if there is any hint of danger to the child in your mind. Is the child school age yet? If so you might also go down to the school and just ask them to keep a close eye on the child because you're concerned. Once you are out of the picture the little one will need someone to look out for him or her.


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## Dmomo

She was roughly 7 weeks at that time. She actually told the Dr's that same thing she told the cops. And I didn't touch her whatsoever.


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## Dmomo

Yes, she has a lot of money. It's actually her parents money that she's a power of attorney on. There was also forged documents there, but that's not my issue. 

The crazy part of it all, I'm not even entitled to any of it because I believe FL law requires you to be together for 7 years for alimony or anything. I don't even want her money. However, there's a lot of debt on the prenup, which she's asking for relief on, which is why I'm trying to get the prenup tossed. I'm currently consulting with attorneys though. 

I'm not even sure if it was a restraining order or DV. But I'd agree, I think the judge saw right through her. She had a DV case for assaulting me, but it was dropped because I didn't show up to court.. I know... Hindsight is 20/20. She also lost her daughter a few years back as she struck her in the face for talking back. Lost custody of her and said it was too expensive to fight for her. Yet dropped $50K on the remodeling of her kitchen. 

In regards to her sons safety, I think he's the only one that's safe. He's the only one she won't yell at, and I've never witnessed her being aggressive towards him. I would actually get punished for correcting him. 


I also feel bad for the notary, however, she knew she was breaking the law. I just think i'm going to have a difficult time proving unless fingerprints were taken because she did have a copy of my license. And I'm sure that all have there story together. The signatures are close, but off. I have the form to file the complaint with the state all typed up, but just can't bring myself to pull the trigger because I know she has a child to take care of, and the notary was more than likely manipulated.


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## EleGirl

Dmomo said:


> She was roughly 7 weeks at that time. She actually told the Dr's that same thing she told the cops. And I didn't touch her whatsoever.


So she actually had a miscarriage that day?


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## EleGirl

Dmomo said:


> Yes, she has a lot of money. It's actually her parents money that she's a power of attorney on. There was also forged documents there, but that's not my issue.
> 
> The crazy part of it all, I'm not even entitled to any of it because I believe FL law requires you to be together for 7 years for alimony or anything. I don't even want her money. However, there's a lot of debt on the prenup, which she's asking for relief on, which is why I'm trying to get the prenup tossed. I'm currently consulting with attorneys though.
> 
> I'm not even sure if it was a restraining order or DV. But I'd agree, I think the judge saw right through her. She had a DV case for assaulting me, but it was dropped because I didn't show up to court.. I know... Hindsight is 20/20. She also lost her daughter a few years back as she struck her in the face for talking back. Lost custody of her and said it was too expensive to fight for her. Yet dropped $50K on the remodeling of her kitchen.
> 
> In regards to her sons safety, I think he's the only one that's safe. He's the only one she won't yell at, and I've never witnessed her being aggressive towards him. I would actually get punished for correcting him.
> 
> 
> I also feel bad for the notary, however, she knew she was breaking the law. I just think i'm going to have a difficult time proving unless fingerprints were taken because she did have a copy of my license. And I'm sure that all have there story together. The signatures are close, but off. I have the form to file the complaint with the state all typed up, but just can't bring myself to pull the trigger because I know she has a child to take care of, and the notary was more than likely manipulated.


If the notary was manipulated, I don't feel sorry for her. A notary has to not allow themselves to be manipulated. A notary is an officer of the court. Anyone who does not take it seriously should not be a notary. As is the fact in your case, a notary not following the laws can harm the person who they are committing fraud against. Does the notary feel sorry for breaking the law to help your stb-ex rip you off? I rather doubt that she does.

Ask your attorney about asking the court to have your wife pay for your legal fees since she has the money and you do not. It's not uncommon for the court to grant this sort of request.


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## FasterEddy

If you don’t have an attorney, get one! If you can’t afford one, find a way to get one. Her lawyer vs you is no match and it will show when this is all said and done. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Dmomo

I honestly don't know. She didn't tell me anything when she got back. She told me the hospital told her to go straight to a battered woman's shelter. Which floored me because I NEVER touched her. The next Dr's appt was a few weeks out which i attended, and that's when they said there was no heart beat. And who's arms does she run into, mine. Personally, if someone caused a miscarriage, they'd be the last person I'd run to.


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## red oak

Dmomo said:


> Yes, she has a lot of money. It's actually her parents money that she's a power of attorney on. There was also forged documents there, but that's not my issue.
> 
> The crazy part of it all, I'm not even entitled to any of it because I believe FL law requires you to be together for 7 years for alimony or anything. I don't even want her money. However, there's a lot of debt on the prenup, which she's asking for relief on, which is why I'm trying to get the prenup tossed. I'm currently consulting with attorneys though.
> 
> I'm not even sure if it was a restraining order or DV. But I'd agree, I think the judge saw right through her. She had a DV case for assaulting me, but it was dropped because I didn't show up to court.. I know... Hindsight is 20/20. She also lost her daughter a few years back as she struck her in the face for talking back. Lost custody of her and said it was too expensive to fight for her. Yet dropped $50K on the remodeling of her kitchen.
> 
> In regards to her sons safety, I think he's the only one that's safe. He's the only one she won't yell at, and I've never witnessed her being aggressive towards him. I would actually get punished for correcting him.
> 
> 
> I also feel bad for the notary, however, she knew she was breaking the law. I just think i'm going to have a difficult time proving unless fingerprints were taken because she did have a copy of my license. And I'm sure that all have there story together. The signatures are close, but off. I have the form to file the complaint with the state all typed up, but just can't bring myself to pull the trigger because I know she has a child to take care of, and the *notary was more than likely manipulated*.


As you are being manipulated with her child right now.


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## Dmomo

I agree with that as well. My dilemma is that I have a heart. I grew up in a small town, and my family always had values. Like I previously said, i can get loud during an argument. But I never laid a hand on her nor would I. The only time I did is when she came after me with a knife, i grabbed her hand with the knife in it and threw her on the ground, as again, I was absolutely terrified. 

I want to thank everyone for the advice so far. She's been through 2 prior divorces, so this is another day for her. But this is why i was always so nervous about marriage. But she won my heart, and now I'm the one in pain. Seems like another day for her. 

I don't know why, but i still love her, and that's why I don't want anything to happen to her. But I guess it's time for me to realize she has no boundaries, a crime was committed, and should be reported. And I guess time will heal my heart.


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## red oak

Dmomo said:


> I agree with that as well. My dilemma is that I have a heart. I grew up in a small town, and my family always had values. Like I previously said, i can get loud during an argument. But I never laid a hand on her nor would I. The only time I did is when she came after me with a knife, i grabbed her hand with the knife in it and threw her on the ground, as again, I was absolutely terrified.
> 
> I want to thank everyone for the advice so far. She's been through 2 prior divorces, so this is another day for her. But this is why i was always so nervous about marriage. But she won my heart, and now I'm the one in pain. Seems like another day for her.
> 
> I don't know why, but i still love her, and that's why I don't want anything to happen to her. But I guess it's time for me to realize she has no boundaries, a crime was committed, and should be reported. And I guess time will heal my heart.


You love the woman she made herself out to be, through early love bombing. 
She is not that woman. You have now seem through the facade. 
Act accordingly, and protect yourself.


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## WorkingWife

Dmomo said:


> I don't know why, but i still love her, and that's why I don't want anything to happen to her. But I guess it's time for me to realize she has no boundaries, a crime was committed, and should be reported. And I guess time will heal my heart.


She is not mentally stable and you are in an abusive relationship. I understand having feelings of love for her and maybe a part of you wanting to save/rescue her. But she is what she is and she is not going to change. It doesn't matter if you love her or feel sorry for her, *her brain doesn't work that way.* This cycle will repeat and repeat and repeat. Just make sure you are not the person she repeats it on. Get free of this toxic woman and when you'r ready, go find yourself a woman WORTHY of your kind heart.


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## SpinyNorman

Dmomo said:


> Nope, shes leaving it in the case. Which surprises me because she will also get into trouble for forgery.
> 
> I haven't retained an attorney yet. Unfortunately not able to afford it as of yet.


Do ANYTHING to get a lawyer ASAP. There is nothing she won't resort to. I am not speculating, you have seen that.


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## Jenniferallen

You are completely right about this being a typical abusive relationship. Abusers quite often try to flip the script. Many cops have been trained to watch for this, but, being male handicapped you.

Abusers want to claim full victim status and evade all personal responsibility for their behavior.

To the OP: 

As for the child; living in a household with an abuser is abuse, by definition. When the abuser is your own mother; that’s as awful as it can get. The child has been victimized and needs to be in therapy. There is no doubt that you both have some PTSD. Be sure to look for a trauma recovery specialist.

We now know that even infants *in utero* know when there parents are arguing and it disrupts normal development. We must never delude ourselves into thinking that there is such a thing as “we never fight in front of the children”.




EleGirl said:


> I’m a notary. It is a crime to carry out a false notarization. You would do well to cover yourself by reporting that notary to the notary commission of your state, probably your Secretary of State. The notary should lose his/her commission.
> However, you might also be able to use it as a bargaining chip to get her to admit to the court that the DV charges are all false. You can talk to a lawyer about this. Plus, if she loses her job, you might end up having to pay her support for a while. You were married for a very short time, so maybe support would not be an issue. Again, a lawyer can help you with that.
> 
> Is she still trying to use the fake prenup, or has she dropped that?
> 
> 
> Does she abuse her child?
> 
> Your situation sounds like a typical abusive relationship. It took you a while but at least you got out of it. The rule for abuse is the first time someone abuses you; the relationship has to end. If they will do it once, they will do it again and again and again.
> I’m glad that you are ending this marriage. She’s clearly an abusive woman and you should not be anywhere near her. With her false claims of a lost pregnancy and DV, you should never be in any place alone with her.
> 
> Do you have a lawyer to represent you in the divorce?


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## aquarius1

This is an abusive relationship. Period. Please get out now. And report to authorities. I am not a lawyer, but I suspect that YOU will be held accountable if you DO NOT report fraud etc when you know about it, especially with regards to the judicial system. You sound like a nice guy. Apparently that’s your problem. Read No More Mr Nice Guy and implement. I like what someone said in another thread. Block all emotions except anger (and outrage). Harden your heart. And please, report to CPS. That child is in danger. Trust me on this one.


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