# My wife had an affair. If I divorce she will move child out of state.



## freeride376 (May 13, 2015)

So my wife had an affair. Ever sense our marriage has been terrible. I don't think I can continue with marriage. The problem is, we currently live in California. We have only lived here a year. Moved her for a job. We are originally from Idaho. Live their our whole lives. Both families are there. Everything is there. Nothing is here in California except my job that I love very much. 

I know if we get divorced my wife will want to move back to Idaho. She has no reason to stay in California. She will take my 4 year old girl with her. She will probably move in with her parents. She is a stay at home mom. She cant provide for herself and our daughter on her own. 

I know what you are all saying. Legally she cant move the child out of state. I won't fight her on this. There is no way she can survive on her own and provide for our daughter. 

If we get divorced and she goes back to Idaho, I will eventually have to quite my job (that is my dream job) and move back to Idaho. I don't see any other alternative. 

If I stayed in California, I would not be able to father my child. I love my child more than anything and want to be in her life. Even the fact of being away from her for a few months while I find a job in Idaho just kills me. 

Honestly don't know what to do. Has anyone here parented children form another state or far away? How do you do it? I only care about my relationship with my child. She's all I have. 

Please advise.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

From the limited info in your post I wouldn't be so fast to roll over. 

- She married you
- You both agreed to marry knowing that meant being an independent adult
- She chose to have an affair knowing the potential outcome.


Unless you can easily accommodate her move I'd push 50/50 time and make her stay put in CA until you're ready to do differently.

It's not about her affair. It's about her being an adult and having made adult choices the aren't deserving of your willingness to fall on your sword.


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## len51 (May 22, 2015)

Everyone I know that divorced with kids and that is a lot of people, had to get the court's permission to take the children out of State. If you go to court and show that you wife moved knowing that you were getting a divorce, the court will step in. Can even be considered kidnapping. Check with an attorney because I think you are worrying about something that is easily legally preventable.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long have you been married? In California you will be paying her spousal support of about 30% of you gross income for at least half the length of the marriage plus child support. Can she live on that? She could also use the time to get some job skills.

Can you earn enough if you move back to Idaho to pay her that much support and support your self?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Talk to a lawyer pronto! Before you do anything else. Also visit dadsdivorce dot com.


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

I know a couple who divorced bought a duplex and put a door between the two sides so the kids could go back and forth. Would something like that be an option?


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