# Separation agreement - Formal or Informal?



## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

If you are in a separation with no clear direction of saving the marriage or not, was your separation agreement done formally (using the courts), or by only written agreement between the two of you (no court or lawyers involved)?


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

I'm in the process of separating now. STBX walked out almost 4 months ago. In MC two weeks ago, she indicated that what we have is a dead shark. So, I immediately closed joint accounts and we're working on a first draft of a LEGAL separation agreement.

Think of it this way. The chances are decent (definitely not zero) that the marriage will not be saved. Given that, would you let some stranger have open access to your bank accounts, property, credit cards, etc.? Of course not. But, if things go South, that's exactly what you will have done if you don't make a formal agreement.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Sorry that happened to you.

Thank you for your reply.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We had nothing written. he continued paying his shet at the homefront and life went out as usual.

But divorce was not an option for us.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

Thanks...I wasn't looking for any sympathy, though.

It's just that, IMO, the purpose of going legal is in case things don't go the way you hope. When I said we're working on a legal separation agreement, right now it's my STBX and I talking through what the agreement will look like. But, then we'll have a lawyer or paralegal memorialize it and we'll file it. If things improve, then there won't be any harm in going the legal route. But, if not, I'll sleep much better knowing that there's an agreement in place that will be enforceable.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

My lawyer has a backlog of clients who had informal agreements, most of which worked for several years, but are now forced to renegotiate after one spouse has decided to go after spousal support or child support retroactively. At the time everyone was happy, but without legal protection there is now a lot of unintended back-payments to be settled up. CYA!


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

It would only be a short term agreement of 3 or 6 months tops.

Thank you all for the feedback!


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