# Confused



## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

It's been two weeks since the final time he asked for a separation, when I agreed with him for a change instead of fighting it.

Even when I got angry for not wanting to fight for us all these years he barely attempted to give counseling a chance. 

Today, he made breakfast before I got home from work. Today he wants us all to move somewhere smaller away from the stress of owning a big house. Today he wants to try therapy. Yet, he says he will never move closer to my job, school or the boys psychiatrist. He wants me to move to this home he was planning on moving to without me. 

That would put me two hours away from work, and 2.5 from school. 2 hours from the boys doctor as well. I wish I could say I jumped at the chance for therapy, but I didn't. I found myself thinking too little too late. 

I also don't believe anymore I can help my boys while living with him. I believe, that although we both get angry and yell at the kids, it is HIS facial expressions, tones, and phrases the boys use when they get angry (and then some). He has cussed then out on multiple occasions in anger. And I'm starting to feel like they need away from it. At the same time being jealous, that the only time I will have the children is during the school week, where I have to be stern. He will have them during play time. I fear they will hate me because I won't have time to play with them, for all the homework and therapies. 

I went from looking for proof of another woman to being completely confused. Is he having a midlife crisis? And will I ever be able to forgive him for how he treated me while I was sick? I wish I could say yes. But...I know it will be one more thing that haunts me regarding his treatment of me.


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