# How did you know it was over?



## jc2006 (Aug 17, 2011)

At what point did you both decide that you had said and done everything you possibly could and that there was no saving your marriage and finally call it quits? how long did that process take? what did you do to try and fix things before you got to that point? I feel like we are on the brink but neither of us has the courage to open that door...


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Did not take long for me once I realized she was having a affair and their was only one of us committed to the marriage.


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## maxter (May 24, 2011)

'We' didn't decide. I decided for her after she committed a serious dealbreaker by involving our children in her affair. Up to that point I tried everything I knew to turn things around. And I held out hope for many years. Unfortunately I sort of turned into a doormat and she liked cake eating way too much. She played me and used me hoping to keep her run going. But ultimately she made a big enough mistake to shake me out of my funk and I filled for D in Aug.


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## Struggle Within (Mar 1, 2011)

Like others here, I knew my marriage was over the day my wife lied about going to the store when she actually went to meet another guy.

But I was in such shock I dealt with it for months not knowing what to do. All the while she continued to want more "guy friends". It's plain to see she was done with our marriage. I decided to divorce.

This all started fall of 2010. I get to file actual divorce next month.


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

I knew it was over when after a trial separation, neither of us really worked on improving the marriage so the ending was inevitable. Both parties have to acknowledge where they can do better and demonstrate that self improvement and do it for the right reasons (themselves).


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

When talking about divorce with my wife became easier than talking about marriage.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

The final moment for me came when he looked right into my eyes and told me didn't have the checkbook to our equity line. I knew he had it, as I had seen it in his briefcase earlier in the day. After his numerous affairs and mental cruelty and other money shenanigans, this last seemingly small act is what finally broke everything. The last vestige of trust was killed.


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

When after first considering R, he came home from a trip and I found a box of condoms in his suitcase


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

(Off topic) craggy your avatar is going to cause someone seizures


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

There was no working on our marriage, H just announced he was done. He has dragged it out over almost 10 months now. I knew it was over when I went with him to see his therapist and she talked for him the whole time. He never wanted to discuss difficult topics, preferred to push it all away, pretend it never happened. She told me that my having hope for the marriage was making it hard for H! Really, so H wanting out without any effort or regrets doesn't make it hard for me?? THe good thing is, on that day, I knew that as long as he was going to that therapist, nothing was going to change, so bye bye. Makes me sad and broken hearted every day. But like everything else in our marriage, I am even going to have to take care of him through the divorce. Go figure.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

When I was watching IDChannel and thinking how I could have done the murder cleaner and gotten away with it?

I mean really....a crossbow? Who's going to believe that's an accident?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

When my ex called me a c=u-n-t. I knew then that nothing i tried to make things better would EVER get him to respect me.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I knew when I came home from work and the refrigerator and mattresses were gone and all that was left was a phucked up letter telling me the obvious...he was gone. Gosh, I really have come a long way, I don't tear up or nothing ova that anymore ;o)


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Wow...JC2006... I have been wondering that very same thing...and then I ask ..., how to know if it's for real or not ???

I'm hoping *Father Time has his hand in it too. 

~sammy


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

I knew when shortly after I had lost my job, my wife "informed: me that she wanted an 'open marriage' so she could 'explore her new-found alternative sexuality' and that it 'would be good for our relationship' with an implied 'the alternative is divorce'. 

It took two years for everything for it to play out. A little over one year for me to get things in order and work through the various stages, and 9 months for the divorce.


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## SugarPlum JellyBean (Oct 10, 2011)

I wish I knew for sure. Just barely separated, and feelings are still bitter. Ex has been writing love poems to old high school flame via email, and has been making sexual comments to a co-worker of both of ours. Although I believe nothing physical has occurred, i consider this infidelity and asked him to leave. How do I know if this is the end?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

On beyond anger and disappointment. Just nothing at all. That's when


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> On beyond anger and disappointment. Just nothing at all. That's when


What he said.:iagree:

It was quite a shock. She tried to push my buttons, even resorting to flirting. 
I felt nothing then. I felt angry later, but with myself.


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