# Father's Opinions Needed: Kid traveling alone.



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

My sister keeps bugging me to travel up there with 3 boys, 3, 8, and 14 to see her in Boston. I live near Atlantic City. I don't really want to go with all of us - not very appealing for many reasons.

I told her as a compromise though that I would be open to letting the 14 year travel alone (drop him off, he gets on plane with carry on, she meets him there and vice-versa).

She wants him to bring his 8 year old little brother but I am uncomfortable with that, mainly because they natter and fight with each other and the little brother will have his day soon enough. She doens't want him to grumble but I'll just tell him he's too young right now.

Is 14 years old old enough to travel alone? I see his mother being less than thrilled but men are usually a little more apt to push young'ens out the door to take risks. That's why I am seeking father's opinions. 

Thanks in advance.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I have allowed that. Most airlines are pretty good with unaccompanied minors. Contact them ahead of time and let them know. That's a 2 hr flight so it's not a huge complicated deal (nonstop? hopefully). A few things to remind him of, like tell him to demand that all staff who contact him identify themselves. Don't respond to anyone not in uniform. No one. And no screwing around with TSA monkeys. Pack for him.


----------



## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

yes, 14 seems to be plenty old.


----------



## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Scannerguard said:


> I see his mother being less than thrilled but men are usually a little more apt to push young'ens out the door to take risks. That's why I am seeking father's opinions.


Hey now ...... that’s very sexist! LOL!!!! 

All joking aside, if your 14 year old is pretty responsible and you’ve informed him of all the weirdo’s out there waiting for him, he will be fine. I flew from California to Chicago many times starting at that same age. 

Also, you would be surprised how the 14 year old and the 8 year old will watch out for one another when they are away from home. My older sister and I fought *constantly* while growing up. However, the further away from home we were, the more we watched out for each other and the better we got along.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I think a lot depends on the 14 year old. Some are as mature as an 16 year old or as immature as 12 year old. If he thinks he can do it and wants to do it then he most probably can and will be ok. I most certainly wouldn’t let the youngster go along.

The thing is I wouldn’t do this sort of thing at the behest of my sister or anybody else. I wouldn’t do it for them as I think the risk too great. And in that I think your sister is wrong in asking and wrong in pressurising. The only time I’d even consider it is if my son was in boarding school and I was in a different country or something. For anyone else my answer would be “Thank you for the nice thought, but my answer is no.”.

Bob


----------



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Men,

Thanks for the opinions. He is probably "age appropriate" - he acts about 14, not any more mature, or any less mature. What I mean by pressuring is she is always wanting us to come visit and wanting them/us to fly up.

Ladies,

Um, excuse me. . .sexist? Pshhaw. Not me.

Now, please, the men are talking in the den here. 

You can bring us some fresh ice though. We're running low.


----------



## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Scannerguard said:


> Ladies,
> 
> Um, excuse me. . .sexist? Pshhaw. Not me.
> 
> ...


"Heads-Up!" ....... Here comes that bucket of ice you asked for.  FYI: It's one of those heavy silver ice buckets too. :rofl:


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

14 is fine, but I wouldn't let the 14-year-old have responsibility for the 8-year-old like that.


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Sorry, lady barging in to the clubhouse.

If your 14 year old is a fairly responsible kid, and it's a non-stop flight, putting him onboard (with requisite cell phone and all numbers/addresses, etc.) and having somebody meet him right at the gate should be fine. My 11 year old son travelled by himself in the same circumstance - I was kinda scared about it, but it went just fine. You can check with the airline - some of them have special services for younger "unaccompanied minors". 

As far as the 14 year old being responsible for the 8 year old. Uh - I have two boys with a slightly bigger age range difference than yours and they peck at each other like crazy. I'm not keen on having the older one be responsible for the younger one in that manner yet - maybe when he's a slightly older teen it would work.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I travelled alone at a very young age, forgot when however. Anyways, 14 is fine. However, I already had experience travelling with adults before travelling alone so I knew what was going on.

Most airline companies are fine but you have to be careful depending on the airline and the country, once I was left by myself by some ignorant and stupid airline worker who disappeared on me for 2 hours and I went to the stupid gate by myself since I knew I can't miss my flight.

Hell I wish I can remember the look on their faces, it's been a while heh


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

NJ to Boston is a one hour hop. Not likely to lose luggage on that flight, less likely to lose a kid.

Good experience for the boy. 

Great way to cut the apron strings. Although I'm guessing the travel will be far less your ex's reason for resisting, than it will simply be an opportunity to oppose a decision made by you.


----------



## Restless05 (Jun 6, 2011)

I'm female. We traveled to Europe alone at age 12 (me) and sister 10. There was a stop and we just stayed in the lounge, the staff took care of us.
Not that big of a deal, especially if your son is responsible..

I know you wanted answers from men, but we did it all the time so thought I would throw my opinion in


----------



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

That's okay, I'll give the female answers the appropriate weight they deserve.


----------



## incognitoman (Oct 22, 2009)

I grew up and my parents lived in different states, as young as 3rd grade (I think that was 8 years oldish) I would fly alone to go visit. The flight was about and hour and 45 minutes long. I often times had my 5 year old brother with me. It was fine. They are very careful with kids. Mom and Dad can go with them to the gate, and who ever is on the other end can meet them at the gate. At both ends the kids are signed for and ID is checked. 

My brother and I fought like crazy but when you do something that grown up (such as flying alone) you tend to act the part to some degree. 

The older child is not responsible for the younger, the airline is so don't worry about that. They would only be out of someone you trusts sight for a very short time really. About the time of a movie. It is honestly probably safer for them to travel on a plane then go to the mall, or a movie or do just about anything else with out you. 

On a plane there isn't very far they can go. I say let them both go for a visit.


----------



## lime (Jul 3, 2010)

Not a female perspective here, but a kid's perspective 

14 is definitely old enough. In fact, depending on the kid, 8 is probably old enough. Even if you're worried about your kids being responsible, there are staff trained to help kids traveling alone--contact your airline about it.

I flew alone for the first time when I was 10 and was absolutely fine, and that was before every kid old enough to crawl was given a cell phone. My friend flew to visit me around the same age and her return flight was canceled after we'd already dropped her off; she simply talked to one of the airline representatives, used a pay phone to call us, and had her flight rescheduled for the next day... We came back to pick her up, and all was well. 

If you don't want luggage to get lost, he should carry on a backpack--he can always do laundry if he runs out of clothes (does he know how to do laundry? If not, now would be the perfect time to learn!) Plus baggage check is expensive and risky...and honestly no one needs that much stuff for a short visit.

I wouldn't suggest letting the 2 kids travel together if they fight all the time unless they're supervised on the off chance that they split up and one gets lost/misses the flight, etc. They're probably old enough to be responsible for themselves, but not for each other if that makes sense.

good luck!


----------



## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

I was travelling from one end of Australia to the other at 6.... my sister who is 4 years older travelled with me, by the time I was 10 I was doing it on my own, made the trek by BUS, 40 hours either way, each year. Plenty of stops and whatnot, we did fine. No cell phones or supervision, we had breakdown's mis-bookings and missed buses to contend with, but we made it there and back each and every time. 

Sibling rivalry gives way to family protection when they are faced with the rest of the world. They grow up in a lot of ways, and learn to respect each other.

Parents these days are so overwhelmingly scared that they won't let their kids do anything..... yeah, there are dangers, but a well informed kid can still do things like that, especially in public arenas. 

It is an ongoing lament of mine that the kids these days are all too soft and spoiled.... they all want to kill anything that moves in a video game, but watch them squirm when you neck a chicken in front of them, or even worse, cut it's head off! I have very un-PC plans for the raising of my son....


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Not a father, but 14 is plenty old and 8 really isn't a problem either.

My son traveled alone many times from the age of 7 up to 15 to visit his father after we divorced.

The airlines treat them as unaccompanied minors and have procedures in-place to have a flight member act as an escort for the child all the way from departing airport to arrival airport. They even have procedures to ensure that the "right" person gets custody of them once they arrive at their destination.

I had no qualms about putting my son on flights alone to visit his father and we never once had an incident. My son always told me he had fun, they gave him coloring books, toys, and fun things to do during the flight. Even during connecting flights they took care of him and escorted him. He was never left alone.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I rode NYC subways and buses alone when I was seven. Not that I recommend it and it was a different era.


----------

