# e here married to someone who has Aspergers.



## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

My H and I have been married for quite some time. Here in the past two years we found out he has Aspergers. That explains alot of our issues since it is more of a social disorder. 

My H and I have not gotten along for a while and I am contemplating divorce. I feel badly because it is not right to leave someone because you find out they have an issues. It was for better or for worse ya know. He has been there for my worse and now I am thinking of leaving him because of his worse.

The issues is the things he says to me are very cold. HE seems almost like a narcissist. I know now that this disorder causes people often to have an inability to compromise or to take into account others feelings. I am not sure I can live with this. He has become borderline verbally and emotionally abusive. I don't think I can stay in this kind of marriage. 

Are any of you out there married to an aspie or an aspie your self. I ask because I wonder how much of this is beyond his control and how much of this he chooses to do. 

Just for your information: I am going to put this in the considering divorce forum as well. Just thought I might get a different response in this forum. 

Thank you for your time.


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## Garrett (Sep 6, 2014)

As I stated in your other thread, I am a 40 year old married man with Aspergers. All aspies are not the same, but I can try to help or answer any questions that you have.

If you like..


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

Thank you. Thank you so much for being willing to open up and help someone else understand. 

For anyone who is following and would like to see the questions I have please go to the considering separation and divorce forum. 

I posted this there to.


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## Swiper (Apr 28, 2014)

Big Mama said:


> Are any of you out there married to an aspie or an aspie your self. I ask because I wonder how much of this is beyond his control and how much of this he chooses to do.


I have been formally diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Not all people with Asperger's are the same, but we all do have serious issues with social interaction (does not come natural). I suspect that there's more to your husband than just him having Asperger's.

I'm overly sensitive, very caring, and easily manipulated. I have never raised my voice at my wife or intentionally caused her emotional distressed. I have allowed her to get away with pretty much everything she has ever asked for. If there's anyone in my marriage that is being verbally and emotionally abused, it's me.


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

He is more than likely bipolar everyone else in his family is. Don;t know why he would be excluded. He also what you call a dry alcoholic. He has OCD as well. 

I have issues to though. I am HSP(Highly sensitive personality), I have PTSD, and anxiety. I also have ADD. So in my house hold there is a mixed bag of mental goodies.


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## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

Big Mama said:


> He is more than likely bipolar everyone else in his family is. Don;t know why he would be excluded. He also what you call a dry alcoholic. He has OCD as well.
> 
> I have issues to though. I am HSP(Highly sensitive personality), I have PTSD, and anxiety. I also have ADD. So in my house hold there is a mixed bag of mental goodies.


Sounds like everyone needs to be more patient with everyone else's human foibles.


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

Ture Ladymisato, very true.


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## Big Tree (Jul 25, 2014)

My wife was diagnosed with Aspergers 2 years ago. We have been married for almost 21 years. I was her friend for 10+ years before we started dating in earnest.

I understand how you feel. I'm here if you want to share.

BT


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