# Am I enough?



## Jaydog82 (Jun 8, 2019)

I jus dont know what to think? I always try to get my spouse off when we have sex. If I get off and she hasn't I'll use tools, play and do stuff that I hope makes her cum. I don't mind oral, I'll use vibes and dildos on her but how can I really know she got off?? Ladies how can I tell for 100% fact she got off??


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Jaydog82 said:


> I jus dont know what to think? I always try to get my spouse off when we have sex. If I get off and she hasn't I'll use tools, play and do stuff that I hope makes her cum. I don't mind oral, I'll use vibes and dildos on her but how can I really know she got off?? Ladies how can I tell for 100% fact she got off??


If she’s floating two feet of the bed aka Linda Blair in the Exorcist movie then you can be pretty sure she’s “getting off”.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Anymore inappropriate replies will earn a ban.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

What was the inappropriate reply? My post which has been deleted/hidden, actually answered the original posters question accurately with a way to identify a female orgasm consistently in a matter of fact way.

Is it now inappropriate to answer sex questions honestly with accurate advice?

That said I now realise, this thread has been posted in the introduction section. Since it is a sex in marriage question, perhaps @EleGirl you might move this discussion to the appropriate area?


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

You have to really pay attention to every detail when she is having an orgasm. Be hyper sensitive. Watch her eyes and see if they are open or closed or if they roll back when she orgasms. Watch her toes. The toes will curl when she has an orgasm. I know my g/f and she squirts so it's easy to tell. During intercourse her vagina tenses up and gets insanely tight and then super wet. Obviously when she squirts with manual stimulation it makes a mess so it's easy to tell. Even with clitoral you should be able to tell. if she likes clitoral stimulation get her the Womanizer Pro sex toy. It can be a game changer. Most importantly though is communication.


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## iamoookkkk (Jun 2, 2019)

Jaydog82 said:


> I jus dont know what to think? I always try to get my spouse off when we have sex. If I get off and she hasn't I'll use tools, play and do stuff that I hope makes her cum. I don't mind oral, I'll use vibes and dildos on her but how can I really know she got off?? Ladies how can I tell for 100% fact she got off??


That's a very big question,i think this forum won't give you the ansew.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Really the best way is to be sure she feels comfortable telling you if she is NOT getting off. Then you can just ask


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does your wife tell you that she has orgasmed? There seems to be some communication issues here. I don't just mean verbal communications.


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## Jaydog82 (Jun 8, 2019)

Sometimes she says she did and other times I'm like I know she didn't. I jus wanna satisfy her but its hard to know if I'm doing what she likes if she never moabs, talks, or says anything about it. She said she's shy. Idk I jus hoped someone would have a sure fire way to tell.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Jaydog82 said:


> Sometimes she says she did and other times I'm like I know she didn't. I jus wanna satisfy her but its hard to know if I'm doing what she likes if she never moabs, talks, or says anything about it. She said she's shy. Idk I jus hoped someone would have a sure fire way to tell.




Normally it’s quite obvious when a woman orgasms. If it’s not, you can ask. It’s usually a binary reply...
For some women, orgasm is not that important nor does it guarantee that she enjoyed it...so even if you know for sure if she came, it doesn’t mean much...
Just try your best, find out what she likes (through trial and error, if she’s uncomfortable telling you) and remember that sex is less about ‘acts’ but more about psychology...
Good lick. I meant luck 



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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

It’s really wonderful that you care about your partner’s sexual fulfillment. That said, I’m not sure there is a foolproof way of telling. All I can say is that if she’s faking, she’s robbing herself and you. From my perspective, I don’t need to orgasm every time. Sometimes I’m just having a great time and that’s enough. Once you start to push the issue I feel pressured, and the big “O” seems harder to achieve. Talk to your wife. Once my husband understood that I was happy either way and I would make it clear when I needed more, he relaxed. We became less fixed on the goal and more about just enjoyment. If it’s still a concern, try reading She Comes First by Ian Kerner.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Personal said:


> What was the inappropriate reply? My post which has been deleted/hidden, actually answered the original posters question accurately with a way to identify a female orgasm consistently in a matter of fact way.
> 
> Is it now inappropriate to answer sex questions honestly with accurate advice?
> 
> That said I now realise, this thread has been posted in the introduction section. Since it is a sex in marriage question, perhaps @EleGirl you might move this discussion to the appropriate area?


Your post was not appropriate.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Jaydog82 said:


> Sometimes she says she did and other times I'm like I know she didn't. I jus wanna satisfy her but its hard to know if I'm doing what she likes if she never moabs, talks, or says anything about it. She said she's shy. Idk I jus hoped someone would have a sure fire way to tell.


If she's shy, I'd recommend you don't pressure her about it. It's hard if she won't talk but maybe you can ask questions like "Which do you like better, when I do THIS or THAT? (As opposed to open ended questions like "tell me what you want me to do to you" which might make her freeze up if she's shy.)

It's great that you want to please her, but I think you should drop the orgasm questions, at least for now. You run the danger of putting pressure on her where she starts lying to you about it because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or doesn't want you to keep pushing/asking. Over time she may relax more and be less shy with you. 

But once a woman starts faking orgasms it's very hard to come back from that because how does she explain what she needs when she's been pretending it's all great, without admitting she was lying many times? 

Also, keep in mind: Men and women are very different when it comes to sex. Men have a lot of testosterone and that makes it a physical thing for them, their body is primed to "get off" frequently. Sex drive for a woman is much more mental/emotional. 

Some women (many, I think) sometimes simply cannot get off. For whatever reason -- I've always had trouble. But that doesn't bother me, I love making love with my man. I can go months without having an orgasm sometimes. But I'm not in pain or suffering the way a guy would be because my body just doesn't want to go there -- hard for a man to understand, but no, I'm not secretly frustrated, craving an orgasm.

I think men assume women want to get off every time, because they do. But for me at least, orgasms are awesome and very welcome when they come. But they are not the REASON for sex. I LOVE sex whether there is an orgasm or not because I love the intimacy and being close and touching and kissing and all of it. If my guy keeps pushing me to have an orgasm or worrying about it, especially after I've told him it's not important to me or not going to happen this time, that actually makes me feel the OPPOSITE of happy and intimate. It makes me feel pressured and inadequate as I am and worried about his feelings/ego, and, frankly, a bit annoyed that* he won't believe me *when I tell him I'm happy and satisfied as is.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

As for how to tell, there are lots of things that often happen and a few that always happen. I could post more, but a ban has been threatened and google will answer this question for you.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Jaydog82 said:


> Ladies how can I tell for 100% fact she got off??


Since my first post explaining how to tell if a woman has orgasmed was deleted, since moderation has deemed discussion of anal exploration in marriage as being verboten.

I offer you the following below from earlier posts to answer your question, which are apparently appropriate despite saying exactly the same thing and more.



Personal said:


> A woman can gush, squirt/pee, get puffy blush, gape, ooze the thicker white stuff or the more translucent stuff with white flecks or none and many other things, yet none of them are always coincident with an orgasm.





Personal said:


> All of those things in and of themselves together or otherwise don't necessarily demonstrate that she's had an orgasm. In fact I would be more inclined to think that such a performance is more theatrics than anything else.
> 
> *She grasps me or the sheets / or digs fingernails*
> 
> ...





Personal said:


> As explained earlier in this discussion, there is a way to tell.
> 
> If you don't believe me ask your husband to have his finger in your backside before you orgasm. Then have him keep it there till after you orgasm and ask then him to tell you what it felt like, before during and after.
> 
> ...





Personal said:


> wild jade said:
> 
> 
> > Are you 100% sure this is true? You absolutely always have your finger there when your woman orgasms and not only is there no possibility of an exception, you are absolutely certain this is generalizable to each and every woman each and every time, with not even the remotest chance of faking it?
> ...





Personal said:


> Don't take my word for it, actually test it for yourself.
> 
> If you don't believe me, stick your finger up your wife's backside till after she orgasms while giving her oral.
> 
> Absent testing this you have no idea.





Personal said:


> You don't need to, it's not like you don't know when it happens for you. :wink2:
> 
> I found this out by accident when I was 17, with my first sexual partner when I was giving her oral sex and I had my finger back there.
> 
> ...





Personal said:


> introvert said:
> 
> 
> > I'm a kinkster. my partners and I are honest about such things, because we want all of the fun that goes with sex.
> ...


So that covers how to tell with 100% certainty if your wife has orgasmed. That said you could just ask her and also not worry about it.

Good luck, I hope you and your wife have fun.


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

Jaydog, there are some who never get their rocks off. Female orgasm is complicated. Who Knows, It may rain on Tueday! Someone said that men are waffles and women are spaghetti. That just about sums up female sex.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

At the risk of being banned, here is some more information that supports my recommendation of using fingers inside a woman's anus to identify when she has an orgasm.

From theguardian.com



> *How do women really know if they are having an orgasm?*
> 
> Neuroscientist Dr Nicole Prause set out to answer these questions by studying orgasms in her private laboratory. Through better understanding of what happens in the body and the brain during arousal and orgasm, she hopes to develop devices that can increase sex drive without the need for drugs.
> 
> ...


One interesting point is that Dr Prause seems to share my thoughts on this as well.



Personal said:


> From that experience I think it is extremely likely that the two women in the above mentioned study who did not have a physiological response, didn't actually achieve orgasm.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

WorkingWife said:


> I
> 
> It's great that you want to please her, but I think you should drop the orgasm questions, at least for now.


But how long does "for now" last... a month... a year.... five years?

It's so easy for that honorable and loving attempt to not bring pressure into the bedroom to allow you to forget about it for a while, but then you remember, and a few more years have passed, and you're still _exactly_ where you were before. So you bury it again, and again, and again. Until you wake up one day and realize your best years are behind you and your opportunity for a mutually satisfying sexual relationship has passed.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> But how long does "for now" last... a month... a year.... five years?



While the orgasm lasts, I would say.



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## Jaydog82 (Jun 8, 2019)

Wife wants to be spread out on the bed. Tie her hands and feet up and do whatever I want to do" I so I'm thinking alot of kissing and licking* @)Add a vibe to the mix along with a dildo and jus lick,play,touch finger and put some **** in it. How do I make her squirt! BC in my mind I mm gonna jus keep on and on till she either squirts across the room or soaks the bed. I never up front and in perons ever seen s girl do that, how do I handle this!!


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Jaydog82 said:


> Wife wants to be spread out on the bed. Tie her hands and feet up and do whatever I want to do" I so I'm thinking alot of kissing and licking* @)Add a vibe to the mix along with a dildo and jus lick,play,touch finger and put some **** in it. How do I make her squirt! BC in my mind I mm gonna jus keep on and on till she either squirts across the room or soaks the bed. I never up front and in perons ever seen s girl do that, how do I handle this!!




You dog you!   
Do ‘The Exorcist’ then and don’t give up till she floats above the bed.
I’ll get my popcorn in the meantime   


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Personal said:


> At the risk of being banned, here is some more information that supports my recommendation of using fingers inside a woman's anus to identify when she has an orgasm.
> 
> From theguardian.com
> 
> ...


I tend to agree that some women actually don't know what an orgasm is.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> I tend to agree that some women actually don't know what an orgasm is.



That's the saddest thing I've read in a long time.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> But how long does "for now" last... a month... a year.... five years?
> 
> It's so easy for that honorable and loving attempt to not bring pressure into the bedroom to allow you to forget about it for a while, but then you remember, and a few more years have passed, and you're still _exactly_ where you were before. So you bury it again, and again, and again. Until you wake up one day and realize your best years are behind you and your opportunity for a mutually satisfying sexual relationship has passed.


I was thinking a month or two. 

Reading over the OPs post that she never moans or anything, I think there might be something more going on here. IDK, I've never had sex with a woman, but I know I instinctively moan when something feels good and turns me on. I kind of assumed all women did.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

WorkingWife said:


> I was thinking a month or two.
> 
> Reading over the OPs post that she never moans or anything, I think there might be something more going on here. IDK, I've never had sex with a woman, but I know I instinctively moan when something feels good and turns me on. I kind of assumed all women did.


I was very quiet when I first started having sex. I think I just didn't feel confident enough to really express myself. As I got more comfortable with sex and myself I got more expressive. Maybe OP's wife just doesn't have that confidence? Sadly, many women are very insecure or repressed about sex. It's a shame.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

notmyjamie said:


> That's the saddest thing I've read in a long time.


LoL! That was my initial thought as well but knowledge is power so as more knowledge is shared, maybe more people will become aware of female orgasms and what one actually is.

I had a partner for one night who sighed and gasped that she was having climax after climax but I think she was just really enjoying the ride.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> LoL! That was my initial thought as well but knowledge is power so as more knowledge is shared, maybe more people will become aware of female orgasms and what one actually is.
> 
> I had a partner for one night who sighed and gasped that she was having climax after climax but I think she was just really enjoying the ride.


Don't sell yourself short...maybe you really were that good!!! :grin2:


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

notmyjamie said:


> Don't sell yourself short...maybe you really were that good!!! :grin2:


Ha!

I'm not knocking myself. She wanted to run off into the sunset with me so she couldn't have been disappointed. 

I just don't think she knew what a real orgasm was.

I know there are different kinds and intensities as well as varying from woman to woman.

If she was tipping the wave all night, hers were very smooth, soft and flowing.

Maybe...


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Ha!
> 
> I'm not knocking myself. She wanted to run off into the sunset with me so she couldn't have been disappointed.
> 
> ...



And sometimes that's how they are...sometimes they are much more intense. With only one experience with her you didn't a clear picture of how she responds to sex. But, you don't want to run off into the sunset with a guy who gave you crappy sex. So there's that!


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

notmyjamie said:


> I was very quiet when I first started having sex. I think I just didn't feel confident enough to really express myself. As I got more comfortable with sex and myself I got more expressive. Maybe OP's wife just doesn't have that confidence? Sadly, many women are very insecure or repressed about sex. It's a shame.


Yeah he said she is shy. Were you enjoying it even when you were quiet?


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

WorkingWife said:


> Yeah he said she is shy. Were you enjoying it even when you were quiet?


Yup :grin2:


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Jaydog82 said:


> how can I tell for 100% fact she got off??


In my opinion I think it is more important to approach that from the opposite way. Can your partner feel 100% comfortable in telling you that she is not in the mood and unable to orgasm? 

Once you reach that level of comfort and openness, you don't have to worry about if she is enjoying things and you can just focus more on sharing how much you enjoy being with your partner. 

Then there is the conundrum of what to do if your partner can not or does not want to pursue an orgasm for whatever reason. Number one you need to appreciate the level of communication it takes to be comfortable with communicating that and to NOT let that hurt your ego. Then you need to be ready to transition to nonsexual intimacy or enjoy a one-sided session if your partner is still enthusiastic about just wanting to please you. You also need to be comfortable telling her the same thing when it happens vice versa. 

Then at that point it is not about knowing 100% for sure your partner got off. Besides women are multi orgasmic and the more problematic question should be if she is ready or not to stop getting off.

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Jaydog82 said:


> I jus dont know what to think? I always try to get my spouse off when we have sex. If I get off and she hasn't I'll use tools, play and do stuff that I hope makes her cum. I don't mind oral, I'll use vibes and dildos on her but how can I really know she got off?? Ladies how can I tell for 100% fact she got off??


I'm going to skip through a few responses and throw this out there. 

OP, you'll know! And then do it again!

After like three times, she'll be putty in your hands.

Or,

She'll grab you by the ears and "I want to ride this again!"

But, you should be able to tell.

Really.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

InMyPrime said:


> Normally it’s quite obvious when a woman orgasms. If it’s not, you can ask. It’s usually a binary reply...
> For some women, orgasm is not that important nor does it guarantee that she enjoyed it...so even if you know for sure if she came, it doesn’t mean much...
> Just try your best, find out what she likes (through trial and error, if she’s uncomfortable telling you) and remember that sex is less about ‘acts’ but more about psychology...
> _Good lick. I meant luck_
> ...


Good lick, no I mean good luck!!

I almost snorted Gatorade through my nose I laughed so unexpectedly. 

Good one !! 😂😂😂


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

badsanta said:


> In my opinion I think it is more important to approach that from the opposite way. Can your partner feel 100% comfortable in telling you that she is not in the mood and unable to orgasm?
> 
> Once you reach that level of comfort and openness, you don't have to worry about if she is enjoying things and you can just focus more on sharing how much you enjoy being with your partner.
> 
> ...


Whereas I really agree with @badsanta when it verbalizes it this way, but 

Respectfully, there are more times when that's way too much over thinking.

Have at it. Tell her to be louder when "you're on the right track" as she builds..

And practice all the time!!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

@Ragnar Ragnasson there are some women who have never had orgasms (as found out in a number of studies), who think they have had orgasms when they haven't. And some of them even carry on as you suggest, yet it still doesn't mean they have had an orgasm.

Not to mention those who don't want to hurt their partners fragile egos, lest they admit it isn't all that sometimes or always (surely you've heard of Meg Ryan).

Given the reality of female orgasms and the reality of actually identifying them. Your suggestion that the OP should know seems rather niave.


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## blazer prophet (Jun 1, 2019)

inmyprime said:


> normally it’s quite obvious when a woman orgasms. If it’s not, you can ask. It’s usually a binary reply...
> For some women, orgasm is not that important nor does it guarantee that she enjoyed it...so even if you know for sure if she came, it doesn’t mean much...
> Just try your best, find out what she likes (through trial and error, if she’s uncomfortable telling you) and remember that sex is less about ‘acts’ but more about psychology...
> *good lick. I meant luck *
> ...


ban him! Ban him! >


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## blazer prophet (Jun 1, 2019)

It is about good communication. Just talk to her and ask what she likes. Like you, I am ever fixated wanting my wife to have as much pleasure as possible. But I got into a problem trying to over due things trying to help her reach 'O'. I had to dial it back a bit as she felt I was pressuring her into it and rushing too much. So what I did do was some research on various ways to get women to "O", and I actually found a silver bullet. It was great. So don't be afraid to experiment.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Personal said:


> @Ragnar Ragnasson there are some women who have never had orgasms (as found out in a number of studies), who think they have had orgasms when they haven't. And some of them even carry on as you suggest, yet it still doesn't mean they have had an orgasm.
> 
> Not to mention those who don't want to hurt their partners fragile egos, lest they admit it isn't all that sometimes or always (surely you've heard of Meg Ryan).
> 
> Given the reality of female orgasms and the reality of actually identifying them. Your suggestion that the OP should know seems rather niave.


I do love the Meg Ryan scene. ❤❤

He has to now find out which group W may fall in, or a little of both camps.

Still, go forward compassionately yet boldly.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

I sometimes wondered whether women that claim to have multiple (5+ orgasms) within a short space of time perhaps mistake orgasms for something else (perhaps pleasure spikes, sneezes or tickles ).

It just stroke me as odd; I know my wife will find anything above 2-3 orgasms quite painful and uncomfortable. And preferably not coming from the same place/action. Which doesn’t make her a prototype for all other wives but still that’s probably what the majority are? 

I also think the majority of women will probably know when they orgasmed vs not having a clue? 


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Talking to your wife with laser point male orgasmic focus in reference to her own is a libido killer for her. My wife would hate that kind of pressure on her to perform. On the other hand let's be honest....every man loves his woman to be pleased in bed.....but many don't need his ego endlessly stroked with her orgasmic confirmation. 

Anyways....how can you be sure:

I always found that when she is driving your face by your ears, she is pressing you in so tight it's tough to breath, and right at the point where she starts peeling your ears away from your skull.....


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

InMyPrime said:


> I sometimes wondered whether women that claim to have multiple (5+ orgasms) within a short space of time perhaps mistake orgasms for something else (perhaps pleasure spikes, sneezes or tickles ).
> 
> It just stroke me as odd; I know my wife will find anything above 2-3 orgasms quite painful and uncomfortable. And preferably not coming from the same place/action. Which doesn’t make her a prototype for all other wives but still that’s probably what the majority are?


I don't think so. I have an extremely hard time having an orgasm. I can literally go months without having one and have had times when I tried with a vibrator or shower massager for HOURS and NOTHING.

But once that dam breaks and I have one? OMG I can just keep having them again and again and again. LITERALLY 30 to 50. They first one is always the most intense. But the others are nothing to complain about. And they are DEFINITELY orgasms.

I guess it's feast or famine for me. This is usually with a vibrator though, not just human stimulation.




InMyPrime said:


> I also think the majority of women will probably know when they orgasmed vs not having a clue?


This I agree with. If some woman doesn't have a clue, or isn't sure, she hasn't had one.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> I don't think so. I have an extremely hard time having an orgasm. I can literally go months without having one and have had times when I tried with a vibrator or shower massager for HOURS and NOTHING.
> 
> But once that dam breaks and I have one? OMG I can just keep having them again and again and again. LITERALLY 30 to 50. They first one is always the most intense. But the others are nothing to complain about. And they are DEFINITELY orgasms.



Interesting. And so unusual. 

Is the dam breaking psychological do you think?


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

********** *********** ***********


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> This I agree with. If some woman doesn't have a clue, or isn't sure, she hasn't had one.



Could the corollary be true as well? Could the woman THINK she is having multiple orgasms but those were just ‘sexual excitement waves’ leading up to an orgasm?

Is the female orgasm something that can be measured scientifically?

I don’t want to deny there’s such a thing as multiple orgasms; I’m just having trouble understanding how having 30-50 orgasms in a short space of time is physically possible or how can it not be confused with build up waves.

Maybe it doesn’t matter in the end...as long as it feels good, doesn’t matter what it’s called 



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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Jaydog82 said:


> Wife wants to be spread out on the bed. Tie her hands and feet up and do whatever I want to do" I so I'm thinking alot of kissing and licking* @)Add a vibe to the mix along with a dildo and jus lick,play,touch finger and put some **** in it. How do I make her squirt! BC in my mind I mm gonna jus keep on and on till she either squirts across the room or soaks the bed. I never up front and in perons ever seen s girl do that, how do I handle this!!


I'm really loving your eagerness, but I fear you sound a little wild and.....crazy lol. I can't imagine everything and the kitchen sink being necessary as you describe your plan here. Certainly not all at once like this. Don't let your eagerness be what drives you, or, believe it or not, you could easily turn her off, and I mean way off. She told you she's shy, so the last thing she wants is to feel like your experiment. So slow your roll, Casanova. More than anything, your wife needs to feel she is in capable hands. You can do all that stuff and use all those devices, but you don't know how and where to do them or how and where to use them, then you risk destroying her confidence in you, so don't risk it. Learn about her body and then you will know what the techniques that are required, and you won't have to wonder if she orgasms or not.

Just don't be disappointed if she never ejaculates. Not many women squirt during the different types of orgasms and while g-spot orgasms are known to have a tendency to make a woman ejaculate (which I describe in the link below), not all women do then either. So, don't let your goal be to make her squirt. Make her pleasure and satisfaction be your goal. She will ejaculate if she has such a tendency to do so, and she won't if her body isn't conducive. What you said indicates to me that you haven't seen it in person but have seen in porn videos. If I'm right, then I'm sorry to say you can't usually depend on those. I've seen lots of them that have the women squirting, but only 2 were real. I could tell the others were faked, so don't rely too much on porn or anything you've ever seen in porn videos. They skew reality and make it seem like women do things and achieve things that are impossible, but women aren't like that in real life.



Jaydog82 said:


> Sometimes she says she did and other times I'm like I know she didn't. I jus wanna satisfy her but its hard to know if I'm doing what she likes if she never moabs, talks, or says anything about it. She said she's shy. Idk I jus hoped someone would have a sure fire way to tell.


Like someone else said, I didn't moan either when I was young even though sex felt good to me. What I learned though is that it can and should feel so good that I moan involuntarily, my shyness notwithstanding. Even if your wife doesn't moan, her breathing patterns should change dramatically. There should at least be some sounds of enjoyment that a woman can't contain.

I really love it when I see a guy come here asking about pleasing his wife. It shows that you care about her pleasure and satisfaction, and that's always a good thing. But I have to disagree with people telling you not to worry about it. You should be concerned about it. I'm not saying you should pressure her or bug her about it, but you should be concerned because that's how you learn. You can't go wild trying everything under the sun. You need to know what you're doing, and that's why it's good that you came here - to learn what to do and how to do it.

I also disagree with people telling you it's all about communication. There are many women who don't like to communicate about sex, and there are those who can't even if they would otherwise like to. It just depends on the woman. Those who don't like to communicate might be too shy to express herself and would prefer to be able to place herself in her man's, hopefully capable, hands. Those who can't communicate their needs are the ones who are inexperienced and don't really know what their needs are. We women are not like you men. Our needs are entirely different from yours, and we come about knowing what we like and what we need AFTER we experience something we like and the satisfaction that we derive from it. For example, if a woman has never had an orgasm, she has no idea how to tell you how to bring her to orgasm or how you can help her achieve one. You guys begin masturbating at a young age in pre-teen or early teen years, but it isn't possible for a girl to masturbate because she would need a dildo for that, but parents and schools are not in the practice of distributing dildos, are they? So, a girl doesn't know what feels good in her vagina until she's with a guy who feels good to her. She doesn't have any idea how her orgasm can be achieved until she's with a guy who brings her to orgasm. 

Girls can masturbate their clitoris, and many do these days, but not even that is the same as a guy going down on her. That requires technique that he has to learn how to do, and even that technique can be different for different girls. Going down on her can be very pleasurable and can make her cum (That's if you stay down there until she comes. A lot of guys stop prematurely because they don't know how to make her cum), but some guys can be annoying and only make her wish he would stop. A couple guys here mentioned something about your wife grabbing your ears or whatever. I know that the times I had to do that, the guy had no idea what he was doing, so I had to use my hands on his head or ears to direct him. That was until I was with a guy who knew how to do it, and that's when I discovered how it should be done. So you see, there is a technique to learn about so you're down there driving her crazy and controlling her instead of annoying her. If you're doing it right, she won't have to direct you by boxing your ears to position your head in the right place. You should have control of her body and be in control of her orgasm. 

Inmyprime mentioned her floating off the bed when she climaxes. You know he was joking, right? Well, sort of. What he means is a lot of women's back will arch so that her chest rises and her back is off the bed when she cums. That's one way to tell that she is climaxing. He didn't really mean she will float off the bed though.

Another way you can sometimes tell is, if she orgasms while you are behind her in doggie style position, her back may arch, which kind of tucks her genital area under her abdomen and remove her away from you. While I like the feeling of intercourse in the doggie style position the most, I hate climaxing in that position because my back arching is totally involuntary. It moves my body away from him, which makes him try to move forward so as not to lose the penetration and the rhythm that produced the orgasm in the first place, but it's not possible to do because I can't un-arch my back while in the throes of ecstasy. It kind of blows the orgasm by cutting it short. You might want to consider that in these initial stages of learning how to please your wife.

Read my post in the link below to learn 3 different ways to make her orgasm. 
https://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/430801-quality-sex-marriage.html#post19758867


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

InMyPrime said:


> Could the corollary be true as well? Could the woman THINK she is having multiple orgasms but those were just ‘sexual excitement waves’ leading up to an orgasm?
> 
> Is the female orgasm something that can be measured scientifically?
> 
> ...


I don't think you should try to compare it with what it might be confused with. There's no way of knowing what or why a woman feels something that makes her think she came but didn't really. Before I ever had an orgasm, I'd only heard of them. So every time there was a sensation that felt better than the other sensations, I wondered if that was an orgasm. It was only that the guy was hitting pressure points (erogenous zones) that he wasn't hitting the other times but had nothing to do with build up waves or anything else. I wasn't able to say with any certainty that I was having orgasms or not. I had no idea, so I think you're both right to say some women simply don't know. Once a woman has one, it can't be mistaken or confused with anything else. Until then, almost any particularly pleasurable sensation might be mistaken for an orgasm. I agree with you that 30-50 is probably impossible. I don't know if it's physically impossible because it makes me wonder if a woman can be forced to have orgasms, as in tied up or something and then made to orgasm many times one after another. But as long as she has control, she wouldn't permit it and wouldn't do it to herself. It sounds more annoying and extremely exhausting than pleasurable.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

InMyPrime said:


> Could the corollary be true as well? Could the woman THINK she is having multiple orgasms but those were just ‘sexual excitement waves’ leading up to an orgasm?
> 
> Is the female orgasm something that can be measured scientifically?
> 
> ...


Maybe some other women will weigh in, but no, I don't think what you're suggesting is possible, at least not in my case. First of all, it takes a long time to build up to an orgasm. And then when you "have" one, it's something that "happens." There are involuntary muscle spasms and other extremely distinct sensations. Also, for me, there would be no subsequent "orgasms" without further stimulation. Each time there is a distinct build up to it. Also, the first one is the strongest and most intense. And subsequent ones get shorter and less intense, but they are definitely orgasms. 

Keep in mind, I'm using a vibrator to "achieve" this. I could never have 30 - 50 from sexual stimulation from a human. Nor would I want to.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WorkingWife said:


> Maybe some other women will weigh in, but no, I don't think what you're suggesting is possible, at least not in my case. First of all, it takes a long time to build up to an orgasm. And then when you "have" one, it's something that "happens." There are involuntary muscle spasms and other extremely distinct sensations. Also, for me, there would be no subsequent "orgasms" without further stimulation. Each time there is a distinct build up to it. Also, the first one is the strongest and most intense. And subsequent ones get shorter and less intense, but they are definitely orgasms.
> 
> Keep in mind, I'm using a vibrator to "achieve" this. I could never have 30 - 50 from sexual stimulation from a human. Nor would I want to.


Mrs. Conan can have 3 tops. Hers can get more intense each time however.

She has never been able even to function coherently after her third and usually needs to sleep for 12 hours afterwards.

I do know some are definitely softer, flowing O's but 30???

Maybe a rare woman can but I've never even heard about it.

I did hear that a woman I knew had a continuous one for a long time but it didn't happen again.

She claimed she went for 15-20 minutes during oral with her husband.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

InMyPrime said:


> Interesting. And so unusual.
> Is the dam breaking psychological do you think?


It doesn't feel like that in regards to having more and more once I have one. It feels like a very physical change has occurred in my body. For a long time I thought maybe I had a psychological problem because it was so hard for me to have one, especially with a human as opposed to vibrator. But then I saw a really good obgyn for menopause and she told me my clit was 1/3 regular size. :frown2::crying::| Also my testosterone is very low (even for a woman). 

Suddenly a lot of things made sense, like a female friends of mine who had them easily saying a shower massager was way to intense and irritating to her. 

Now, I'm on prozac on top of my other issues, between that and menopause, orgasms are like unicorns, even with smart use of technology. So I think it's mostly physical/hormonal for me that it's so hard to achieve them, but once my body gets to that point, it's in that mode? IDK.

Now there definitely can be a psychological aspect to NOT having one at all. I have had this experience and other women have told me the same, where the guy is doing all kinds of wonderful delicious things down there but you can't get out of your own head and you keep thinking "I'm taking too long, his neck must ache, he can't do this forever..." OR the guy is so invested in wanting to please you that you feel emotional pressure to "achieve" that messes with your head. 

But if toys are involved it used to be a guaranteed orgasm for me when I was younger. Now, it's not. We could try for hours sometimes and nothing. Other (rare) times? Five minutes and kaboom. 

What I am most happy about is that I'm having the best, funnest sex of my life with my BF and he gets what's going on and doesn't pressure me and when it happens it's awesome, and when it doesn't it's still awesome.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. Conan can have 3 tops. Hers can get more intense each time however.
> 
> She has never been able even to function coherently after her third and usually needs to sleep for 12 hours afterwards.
> 
> ...


I'll have to keep a little chalkboard by the bed and make a tic mark for each one next time. ;-)

I just thought of another female friend of mine who is very orgasmic. (The *****! JK). I don't know how many she can have during sex but I know it's a lot and she does the squirt thing. Anyhow, she said one day she was sitting on a park bench in the sunshine thinking about her new boyfriend and these waves of orgasms just descended on her. It went on and on for 20-30 minutes. (Mine last 2 - 4 seconds tops at this point.) She said she was out in public and actually mortified and didn't know what to do but it did feel good.:surprise:


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

StarFires said:


> I don't think you should try to compare it with what it might be confused with. There's no way of knowing what or why a woman feels something that makes her think she came but didn't really. Before I ever had an orgasm, I'd only heard of them. So every time there was a sensation that felt better than the other sensations, I wondered if that was an orgasm. It was only that the guy was hitting pressure points (erogenous zones) that he wasn't hitting the other times but had nothing to do with build up waves or anything else. I wasn't able to say with any certainty that I was having orgasms or not. I had no idea, so I think you're both right to say some women simply don't know. Once a woman has one, it can't be mistaken or confused with anything else. Until then, almost any particularly pleasurable sensation might be mistaken for an orgasm. I agree with you that 30-50 is probably impossible. I don't know if it's physically impossible because it makes me wonder if a woman can be forced to have orgasms, as in tied up or something and then made to orgasm many times one after another. But as long as she has control, she wouldn't permit it and wouldn't do it to herself. It sounds more annoying and extremely exhausting than pleasurable.



Orgasmic torture...They should include it as a way to fight terrorism...and other things. 

I can’t quite get my head around the number of 30-50 orgasms. Perhaps it’s inflation...

My wife has usually one, maybe 2 or a maximum of 3 (if something is particularly making her horny) within one session (she tends to have at least one 99.999999% of the time). But they are like mine: last maybe 20-30 seconds or so. And if it was a clit one, it’s not to be touched anymore after. If it was a g spot one, then I can keep going and it still feels good for her even after she came. But she will have trouble coming again, no matter how hard or long I go for. But I haven’t really been THAT persistent to find out...We don’t usually spend more than one hours on sexy time...
Maybe next time I will consider rounding a few guys up to see if they succeed better than me...
Either way, it seems variability in how and how many times women orgasm seems much more present in wimminz...
Let’s also remember that it’s sometimes also about quality and not quantity 


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

workingwife said:


> i'll have to keep a little chalkboard by the bed and make a tic mark for each one next time. ;-)
> 
> i just thought of another female friend of mine who is very orgasmic. (the *****! Jk). I don't know how many she can have during sex but i know it's a lot and she does the squirt thing. Anyhow, she said one day she was sitting on a park bench in the sunshine thinking about her new boyfriend and these waves of orgasms just descended on her. It went on and on for 20-30 minutes. (mine last 2 - 4 seconds tops at this point.) she said she was out in public and actually mortified and didn't know what to do but it did feel good.:surprise:


w. O. W.!!!!!!????!!!!


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> I'll have to keep a little chalkboard by the bed and make a tic mark for each one next time. ;-)
> 
> 
> 
> I just thought of another female friend of mine who is very orgasmic. (The *****! JK). I don't know how many she can have during sex but I know it's a lot and she does the squirt thing. Anyhow, she said one day she was sitting on a park bench in the sunshine thinking about her new boyfriend and these waves of orgasms just descended on her. It went on and on for 20-30 minutes. (Mine last 2 - 4 seconds tops at this point.) She said she was out in public and actually mortified and didn't know what to do but it did feel good.:surprise:



I guess the lesson from this is that whenever you are in public, there could be wimminz orgasming all around you, all over the place, and one wouldn’t have a clue...
As we say in London, bring an umbrella as it will probably be wet and humid out there ☔ especially when the orgasmic front moves in from the south 


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

InMyPrime said:


> I guess the lesson from this is that whenever you are in public, there could be wimminz orgasming all around you, all over the place, and one wouldn’t have a clue...
> As we say in London, bring an umbrella as it will probably be wet and humid out there ☔ especially when the orgasmic front moves in from the south
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I’ve had them in public...nobody could tell. It can be done!!


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

notmyjamie said:


> I’ve had them in public...nobody could tell. It can be done!!




Like an undercover orgasm? I guess it’s more fun than the more common and boring ‘under the covers orgasm’..
Still, I think I would prefer to feel responsible for my wife’s romantic explosions...


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

InMyPrime said:


> Like an undercover orgasm? I guess it’s more fun than the more common and boring ‘under the covers orgasm’..
> Still, I think I would prefer to feel responsible for my wife’s romantic explosions...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Let's just say that my entrance into the world of orgasms involved bumpy bus rides. I was very young and there was no guy around to be responsible. Happened a few times by accident...once I figured it out what the hell was going on, I could do it whenever I wanted and nobody was the wiser. I lived in the city and took the bus everywhere as I had no car. LOL

A couple years later I got my first boyfriend and a car and it hasn't happened since. 

Can't believe I just admitted that :surprise:


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

notmyjamie said:


> Let's just say that my entrance into the world of orgasms involved bumpy bus rides. I was very young and there was no guy around to be responsible. Happened a few times by accident...once I figured it out what the hell was going on, I could do it whenever I wanted and nobody was the wiser. I lived in the city and took the bus everywhere as I had no car. LOL
> 
> 
> 
> ...



So do you reckon it was the car or the boyfriend that stopped SC (spontaneous cuming)?

I can’t believe I’m paying all these taxes to have the roads in pristine condition all year round, without any potholes and it turns out this deprives wimminz of pleasure going on bumpy bus rides!!! 

I am going to have a word with the council. The potholes are cuming back baby! 


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

InMyPrime said:


> So do you reckon it was the car or the boyfriend that stopped SC (spontaneous cuming)?
> 
> I can’t believe I’m paying all these taxes to have the roads in pristine condition all year round, without any potholes and it turns out this deprives wimminz of pleasure going on bumpy bus rides!!!
> 
> I am going to have a word with the council. The potholes are cuming back baby!


I'd say the boyfriend kept me pretty well supplied so no need to take advantage of the bumpy bus rides. LOL I haven't thought about that in YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

InMyPrime said:


> I guess the lesson from this is that whenever you are in public, there could be wimminz orgasming all around you, all over the place, and one wouldn’t have a clue...
> As we say in London, bring an umbrella as it will probably be wet and humid out there ☔ especially when the orgasmic front moves in from the south


I've heard of women doing it while climbing rope in gym and horseback riding. Never had any such luck in my case! But one of my aforementioned friends said she had a very intense experience climbing rope in gymn.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> I've heard of women doing it while climbing rope in gym and horseback riding. Never had any such luck in my case! But one of my aforementioned friends said she had a very intense experience climbing rope in gymn.




Urrgh. Stop giving me ideas about all the various objects!! It’s too much for my innocent brain to handle! 


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

WorkingWife said:


> Also, the first one is the strongest and most intense. And subsequent ones get shorter and less intense, but they are definitely orgasms.





ConanHub said:


> Mrs. Conan can have 3 tops. Hers can get more intense each time however.
> 
> She has never been able even to function coherently after her third and usually needs to sleep for 12 hours afterwards.


I'm the same as your wife. Subsequent orgasms are longer and stronger. Before I ever experienced having more than one, "longer and stronger" is what I always heard and read about from other women. 

WorkingWife, you already know you are different from most, but I'm also wondering how much of the prozac or other medications are doing the talking by influencing, if not determining, your orgasms and your ability to orgasm. I had that one rare experience like you described later, where I couldn't buy an orgasm for any price. My guy at the time was very skilled at oral but couldn't get me there no matter what. That was so weird and I actually got worried, like "what on earth has happened to my orgasm!" 



WorkingWife said:


> I did hear that a woman I knew had a continuous one for a long time but it didn't happen again.
> 
> She claimed she went for 15-20 minutes during oral with her husband.


It twice happened to me, but I don't know why and just wish it never stopped happening lol. It was during intercourse, not oral, that I never did stop cumming the whole session and several minutes after.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

InMyPrime said:


> My wife has usually one, maybe 2 or a maximum of 3 (if something is particularly making her horny) within one session (she tends to have at least one 99.999999% of the time). But they are like mine: last maybe 20-30 seconds or so. And if it was a clit one, it’s not to be touched anymore after.


Nope, she doesn't want her clitoris touched after her orgasm. It's just way too sensitive. 

BUT!!!......you should do it anyway. For about 7-10 seconds, she will try to push you away, scream at you, tear your head off, and try her best to kill you lol.

But just keep at it. You have to engulf her clitoris and suck on it like you're drinking through a straw to make her cum, and then don't stop and don't let her push you away or get away from you because after that 7-10 seconds, her screams will become entirely different for an entirely different reason. She'll be screaming in ecstasy and begging you NOT to stop. And her second orgasm will be the best one ever! I suggested this to the OP in my response here that I also posted to the OP of this thread. The paragraph of the instruction begins with "All the while" because I know I wrote an awful lot there.

Just try it. It will be worth your attempted murder.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

StarFires said:


> WorkingWife, you already know you are different from most, but I'm also wondering how much of the prozac or other medications are doing the talking by influencing, if not determining, your orgasms and your ability to orgasm.


The medications are just in the last 3 - 4 years, I was like this all my adult life except that with menopause it got even harder to orgasm and I do sense the prozac plays some but not all of the role in that. I've talked to some other friends my age too (50's) who said with menopause it was like that part of their body just went numb. Nothing. Then you hear of women who say they become orgasm machines with age. Go figure.



StarFires said:


> I had that one rare experience like you described later, where I couldn't buy an orgasm for any price. My guy at the time was very skilled at oral but couldn't get me there no matter what. That was so weird and I actually got worried, like "what on earth has happened to my orgasm!"


At this point I can tell with pretty good accuracy when nothing is going to "build up" so I can avoid the frustration of trying and just enjoy myself in the moment. But YEAH, it is SCARY when that happens and you know it's not lack of attraction or skill on the guys part. There was a period of a few months for me where nothing worked ever. THAT was discouraging!



StarFires said:


> It twice happened to me, but I don't know why and just wish it never stopped happening lol. It was during intercourse, not oral, that I never did stop cumming the whole session and several minutes after.


God, if only you could identify, bottle and market that stuff!


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

WorkingWife said:


> I've talked to some other friends my age too (50's) who said with menopause it was like that part of their body just went numb. Nothing. Then you hear of women who say they become orgasm machines with age. Go figure.



_:raising hand here:_
That's me, thank goodness. I'm 59, and my husband is very much enjoying my menopause as am I :bounce:. 
I can't believe my luck. No hotflashes. No night sweats. And horny as hell. :woohoo:



WorkingWife said:


> God, if only you could identify, bottle and market that stuff!


Yes, if only!


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> Then you hear of women who say they become orgasm machines with age. Go figure.



This doesn’t make sense, biologically. But I hope that happens more than not...
Maybe the whole adult life that woman is edging and then when she reaches meno pause, she finally can’t stop climaxing...



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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

InMyPrime said:


> This doesn’t make sense, biologically. But I hope that happens more than not..


Being brutally honest, out of the 15 or 16 women in the 55+ year old age range that I know personally, not ONE of them claims to have a higher libido since getting older/menopause.

Not *one *of them.

Several have even told me that they simply no longer care if they ever have sex again since their libidos are pretty much non-existent after menopause. The others say it's not a priority in their lives but they're still sexually active. But not one woman has experienced a heightened drive - not a one. LOL...that's why I always say this stuff only happens to women on message boards and/or the internet and not in real life. :grin2:


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Being brutally honest, out of the 15 or 16 women in the 55+ year old age range that I know personally, not ONE of them claims to have a higher libido since getting older/menopause.
> 
> Not *one *of them.
> 
> Several have even told me that they simply no longer care if they ever have sex again since their libidos are pretty much non-existent after menopause. The others say it's not a priority in their lives but they're still sexually active. But not one woman has experienced a heightened drive - not a one. LOL...that's why I always say this stuff only happens to women on message boards and/or the internet and not in real life. :grin2:






Thank you for your brutality.

Now if you could kindly put me out of my misery and shoot me in the head.....it would complete my day....

****


****


**** **** ****



She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL...that's why I always say this stuff only happens to women on message boards and/or the internet and not in real life. :grin2:



I did have my suspicions that message boards are mainly populated by multiple personalities of my 16-year old cousin (who still lives in the basement) but in the words of Moulder: I want to believe!!!! Otherwise life is not worth living if you are not wanted sexually...at least 4 times a week....


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Being brutally honest, out of the 15 or 16 women in the 55+ year old age range that I know personally, not ONE of them claims to have a higher libido since getting older/menopause.
> 
> Not *one *of them.
> 
> Several have even told me that they simply no longer care if they ever have sex again since their libidos are pretty much non-existent after menopause. The others say it's not a priority in their lives but they're still sexually active. But not one woman has experienced a heightened drive - not a one. LOL...that's why I always say this stuff only happens to women on message boards and/or the internet and not in real life. :grin2:




By the way, can I ask how you obtain this valuable insider information? Is it during slumber parties with your girlfriends when everyone is topless?  (and please don’t ruing it for me 


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Being brutally honest, out of the 15 or 16 women in the 55+ year old age range that I know personally, not ONE of them claims to have a higher libido since getting older/menopause.
> 
> Not *one *of them.
> 
> Several have even told me that they simply no longer care if they ever have sex again since their libidos are pretty much non-existent after menopause. The others say it's not a priority in their lives but they're still sexually active. But not one woman has experienced a heightened drive - not a one. LOL...that's why I always say this stuff only happens to women on message boards and/or the internet and not in real life. :grin2:


I have a higher libido in menopause, and I'm not lying. Do you also dispute that I don't have hot flashes or night sweat that are common in menopause? Do you dispute that I'm 59 years old? LOL

But even if you don't believe me and others on message boards, why suggest the studies are also lying? There are no studies that report 1 in 17 women have higher libido to prove your sample. And there are no studies that report 1 in 16 women have higher libido to disprove it. There may not be statistical or emperical data to rely on, but most studies and research reports you read about menopause advise that libido does either decrease or increase, and there aren't any that challenge the validity of those studies. Why do you challenge them?


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

StarFires said:


> I don't think you should try to compare it with what it might be confused with. There's no way of knowing what or why a woman feels something that makes her think she came but didn't really. Before I ever had an orgasm, I'd only heard of them. So every time there was a sensation that felt better than the other sensations, I wondered if that was an orgasm. It was only that the guy was hitting pressure points (erogenous zones) that he wasn't hitting the other times but had nothing to do with build up waves or anything else. I wasn't able to say with any certainty that I was having orgasms or not. I had no idea, so I think you're both right to say some women simply don't know. Once a woman has one, it can't be mistaken or confused with anything else. Until then, almost any particularly pleasurable sensation might be mistaken for an orgasm. I agree with you that 30-50 is probably impossible. I don't know if it's physically impossible because it makes me wonder if a woman can be forced to have orgasms, as in tied up or something and then made to orgasm many times one after another. But as long as she has control, she wouldn't permit it and wouldn't do it to herself. It sounds more annoying and extremely exhausting than pleasurable.


In my case, these are definitely orgasms. Though I may be off on the number, I've never actually counted. I just know I can go months without being able to have any, not even a hint, but then when I finally can have one, I can have another. Then another... and keep having them every minute or so and a couple times I've done this for around an hour. At some point yeah, it does get kind of irritating. But after months of nothing, it's hard to put down the toys... I don't think I could or would want someone else to give me that many, having total control over the situation where I can back off the stimulation at will is important. With a human, 1 or 2 is more likely, 3 - 4 would probably be tops.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> In my case, these are definitely orgasms. Though I may be off on the number, I've never actually counted. I just know I can go months without being able to have any, not even a hint, but then when I finally can have one, I can have another. Then another... and keep having them every minute or so and a couple times I've done this for around an hour. At some point yeah, it does get kind of irritating. But after months of nothing, it's hard to put down the toys... I don't think I could or would want someone else to give me that many, having total control over the situation where I can back off the stimulation at will is important. With a human, 1 or 2 is more likely, 3 - 4 would probably be tops.



I mentioned to my wife the 30-50 orgasm number...She laughed and said ‘it’s just called penetration’. I have no idea. It’s possible some women are built very differently from each other.
Maybe we should all get together and have an ‘orgasmatron’ 
The winner gets the wiener, as they say. (Joking!)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

WorkingWife said:


> In my case, these are definitely orgasms. Though I may be off on the number, I've never actually counted. I just know I can go months without being able to have any, not even a hint, but then when I finally can have one, I can have another. Then another... and keep having them every minute or so and a couple times I've done this for around an hour. At some point yeah, it does get kind of irritating. But after months of nothing, it's hard to put down the toys... I don't think I could or would want someone else to give me that many, having total control over the situation where I can back off the stimulation at will is important. With a human, 1 or 2 is more likely, 3 - 4 would probably be tops.


So when you can orgasm, you're able to have a high number of orgasms to make up for having gone so long being unable to have one. I get it.

Just wondering if you know the cause or if you ever spoke with a doctor about it?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Being brutally honest, out of the 15 or 16 women in the 55+ year old age range that I know personally, not ONE of them claims to have a higher libido since getting older/menopause.
> 
> Not *one *of them.
> 
> Several have even told me that they simply no longer care if they ever have sex again since their libidos are pretty much non-existent after menopause. The others say it's not a priority in their lives but they're still sexually active. But not one woman has experienced a heightened drive - not a one. LOL...that's why I always say this stuff only happens to women on message boards and/or the internet and not in real life. :grin2:


When Masters and Johnson did their research on this age range, the admitted that it was difficult to find participants willing to talk about it. For the ones that did participate in their research, a conclusion was made that women need a mate that keeps them sexually active in order to avoid the deteriorating effects of the female reproductive system being starved of hormones. Once a female is starved of hormones and begins shutting down, you get urinary incontinence, the vaginal lining drastically thins, and any intermittent sexual activity becomes irritating to the urinary tract. Those that have a mate that keeps them active seem to avoid this and keep healthier as if they still have hormones. 

I guess it is use it or loose it based on that research. 

Other psychology books suggest that female sexuality has the potential to peak around the age of 60. This is because couples at this time are no longer burdened with raising children and getting pregnant. They can devote time to one another. They are also at an age where they let go of shame and can actually focus on simply knowing and loving their spouse. 

There may be some truth to @She'sStillGotIt post because with the ease of internet porn, some of the older men that remain active with a strong libido probably just keep to themselves and don't go through the trouble of maintaining a positive sexual rapport with a spouse. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

InMyPrime said:


> I mentioned to my wife the 30-50 orgasm number...She laughed and said ‘it’s just called penetration’. I have no idea. It’s possible some women are built very differently from each other.
> Maybe we should all get together and have an ‘orgasmatron’
> The winner gets the wiener, as they say. (Joking!)


LOL. There was no other human being -- or any penetration -- present for the 30 to 50. There's no way there would be 30 - 50 with the distraction of a person or penetration.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

StarFires said:


> So when you can orgasm, you're able to have a high number of orgasms to make up for having gone so long being unable to have one. I get it.
> 
> Just wondering if you know the cause or if you ever spoke with a doctor about it?


I know the cause of it being so hard to have an orgasm -- exceptionally small clitoris, prozac, and post menopausal hormone reduction. I had no idea I was having an exceptionally high number when I did have them, you guys have me doubting my math, but basically in order to have one at ALL I need to use a vibrator, and after I have one, I can just keep going for quite awhile. But each one is only a couple seconds. I've had orgasms other ways - sex and with a shower massager and those I could not keep doing again and again. Though those are much better orgasms.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Jaydog82 said:


> I jus dont know what to think? I always try to get my spouse off when we have sex. If I get off and she hasn't I'll use tools, play and do stuff that I hope makes her cum. I don't mind oral, I'll use vibes and dildos on her but how can I really know she got off?? Ladies how can I tell for 100% fact she got off??


Good communication and being comfortable enough with one another to communicate those thoughts.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

I think it can bother wives to keep talking about whether one's wife orgasms or not. My wife does most of the time but sometimes says for me not to worry as she still enjoys it. It can be a pressure for her if one is not careful.


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