# Body Image and the Media / Social Media



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

For a while now, there has always been a rather unrealistic portrayal of body image in the media, nothing new here. Typically this would come in the form of heavily photoshopped magazine covers, but you would even see pushed on young kids (action figures of heavily muscled / 0% body fat super heroes, princess with no waist / big boobs, etc...). At what point though do we go too far with this (whether it be our decision or the media's doing)? Why is there not more pushback over stuff like this? Maybe it is just me, but it only seems to be getting worse, in particular because social media plays a much heavier role in today's society.

Here is a perfect example. Ronda Rousey posted a quick picture from her appearance on Fallon (it appears someone from NBC gave her the pic to post). She noticed that someone had actually altered the picture to make her arms look smaller, same with her calves, etc... What was wrong with the original picture (on the left) that it needed to be altered? 










Part of the problem, there seems to be a growing group of people who care only about how many followers / likes they can get on social media sites. If "xyz" selfie can get me 10 likes, by using different filters and applying a few "touch ups" I could get over 100 likes. I have seen this several times, where you can tell an image has been altered because oddly enough the actual structure of the wall/door right behind the person seems to be magically distorted. Unfortunately, pushing the limits of your body (in particular with females how much you are willing to show) will get more attention.

Somewhat related, I was reading an article a while back from a female who was active in the fitness industry, where she was basically calling out other females to stop dressing like prostitutes in the name of fitness. A perfect example would be Paige Hathaway, who coincidentally has been busted on several occasions of photoshopping images posted on Instagram.

I know a lot of the body image is pushed heavily on women, but there definitely seems to be an uptick with guys as well. This does start to cross over into the controversial topic of steroid/PED use which I believe is rather high in the fitness industry, but you even see it in mainstream media (i.e. The Rock, the amazing short term physique transformations for movie roles in the Avengers, etc...). At least Sly Stallone has been vocal about his PED use, but most others it goes completely quiet ....

I guess I was thinking about all this in terms of my kids. For me growing up there was no social media, so images were not thrown in my face constantly. As they get older though, this will be the reality they grow up in, so similar to sex this could be a very important topic that needs to be discussed. As well, as a parent, I feel like I will need to spend more time monitoring them for signs of eating disorders, body image issues, etc... IDK, maybe I am over reacting? Combine all this with the constant body shaming that goes on, and it is a surprise that there aren't more people out there with severely fu&ked up body image issues.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Yeah. Mental illness is running rampant in our media.

Mrs. Conan and I were watching British shows and a female character became pregnant by cheating.

My wife commented that she looked too old to have children.

I reminded her that they were using more realistic people as actors.

Maybe we could direct more attention towards British programs. They have real women and men in the parts. Real looking anyway!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I agree. On the other side they are now shoving overweight models at us and telling us we need to find them beautiful as well. I for one am sick of the media telling us what we should find attractive and making the decision for us, as if they could. I'm an adult and know enough to make my own decision but do worry about my daughters and have told them and will continue to tell them to stay healthy, not too thin not too heavy..healthy.

It's not just body image but status and wealth that seems to be a keeping up with the jones. If you don't own this or don't live here you are lesser. My oldest has felt the effect of that already and she is in 4th grade.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Maybe we could direct more attention towards British programs. They have real women and men in the parts. Real looking anyway!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As long as they don't advocate for their dental health care 



Wolf1974 said:


> I agree. On the other side they are now shoving overweight models at us and telling us we need to find them beautiful as well. I for one am sick of the media telling us what we should find attractive and making the decision for us, as if they could. I'm an adult and know enough to make my own decision but do worry about my daughters and have told them and will continue to tell them to stay healthy, not too thin not too heavy..healthy.
> 
> It's not just body image but status and wealth that seems to be a keeping up with the jones. If you don't own this or don't live here you are lesser. My oldest has felt the effect of that already and she is in 4th grade.


Ah yes, thanks for pointing out the overweight models as well. I am all for curves (to an extent) but what is disturbing is how unhealthy it is to be overweight as per some of these models, yet we are all supposed to be ok with?

The Joneses thing is another huge problem IMO with social media.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

The problem is not the media - it's the consumers of the media who fall for it. Nothing can be done as long as media dependencies proliferate. 

Like college or real life where someone will be better than you, appearance too works the same way. No matter how good you look there's someone better looking.

Learn to live with it. That's the life lesson.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

One other interesting thing i keep hearing about. People match up via online dating (Tinder, Fish, Match, etc...) but when they finally meet in person one of them looks nothing like their profile pic. Seriously, how f'd up is that, do you really think the other person will not notice a difference (especially when this pretty much calls you out as a lair from the start)


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

john117 said:


> The problem is not the media - it's the consumers of the media who fall for it. Nothing can be done as long as media dependencies proliferate.
> 
> Like college or real life where someone will be better than you, appearance too works the same way. No matter how good you look there's someone better looking.
> 
> Learn to live with it. That's the life lesson.


I agree and disagree. I think that most people today don't even realize that what's portrayed in the media isn't "real". Since they don't know, they continue to buy into the crap that is put out there. It's easy to find a few celebs that put their unphotoshopped selves on the Internet (and then it's only for like one or two pics), much harder to find others that do. 

In addition, they have those that do the "no makeup" from time to time...hate to say it, but most of them are STILL wearing makeup. There are no makeup, makeup routines that people do. My husband is like "see look at her with no makeup, you can still look good." I just say, Uhm babe, she is still wearing makeup." He never believes me. 

I think once some people reach a certain age, they stop buying into it, but by then their entire youth is ruined thinking they were never pretty enough. I am 32 and I still have days that when I look in the mirror I flinch. Most days, I'm good....then my victorias secret mag comes in the mail and H gets to it before I do lol. He basically slobbers all over it for 15 mins before it even reaches me. Once I see what he was drooling over, I don't feel so hot anymore. I'm closer to that image than many moms of 3 kids are, but I will NEVER reach that. It's unattainable. I know that. My husband on the other hand....not so much. That's why I second guess. 

People will always buy into that being the reality because it's rarely portrayed in our society that it's fake (lots of people second guess if some boobs are real). People have just come to believe that it's real.


ETA: Sorry! I didn't realize this was in the Men's Clubhouse (I saw it on the side of popular topics). I will remove this post if you want  No hurt feelings lol.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

According to American advertisers the average male is 35, soft, pudgy, hairy, vaguely feminine, a poor dresser, no strong opinions about anything and waiting for his alpha female to gently scold him.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

staarz21 said:


> I think once some people reach a certain age, they stop buying into it, but by then their entire youth is ruined thinking they were never pretty enough. I am 32 and I still have days that when I look in the mirror I flinch. Most days, I'm good....then my victorias secret mag comes in the mail and H gets to it before I do lol. He basically slobbers all over it for 15 mins before it even reaches me. Once I see what he was drooling over, I don't feel so hot anymore. I'm closer to that image than many moms of 3 kids are, but I will NEVER reach that. It's unattainable. I know that. My husband on the other hand....not so much. That's why I second guess.


So now that brings up the question, ignoring the people who develop body image issues personally, does stuff like this impact relationships or expectations when entering a relationship? Are there guys out there who hold out waiting to find someone who looks like a Victoria's Secret model? Are there females who expect guys to have ripped 6 pack abs with the V? Does someone lose interest in their SO once the chemical high wears off and isn't enough to combat the fact that the SO does not look like these people on social media?


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

staarz21 said:


> ETA: Sorry! I didn't realize this was in the Men's Clubhouse (I saw it on the side of popular topics). I will remove this post if you want  No hurt feelings lol.


Haha, please feel free to post all you want. This issue probably has more to do with females than males. Didn't really fit into relationship issues to throw in any of the other sub forums, and last time I posted in the Ladies Lounge I was told I had a small penis, left crying ...


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

i'm of the opinion that 'ordinary' people with all their zits, 'imperfect bodies', cellulite, and even aging are the sexiest (within some limits defined by only by each individual).

the proof is here: just go to your local mall or airport and you will see many better looking (or at least as), sexier people than 98% of all hollywood stars.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

In design we actually have research areas and metrics that deal with "beauty". Aesthetics. But those will tell you half the story. The other half is integration.

I have a bff that's probably 170-175 lb. But she is gorgeous. Impeccable dress, hair, manners, and attitude. If you Photoshop her down to 130 lb she will stop being who she is.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I think part of this is a feedback cycle between advertising media and consumers. Advertising media shows what they think people want to see - of course "tweaked" in ways that they think will make it more attractive. The public sees these images and starts to associate the tweaked images with attractiveness. This provides feedback to the media who tweak further. 

I think younger people are particularly susceptible. Their ideas of attractiveness are not yet really set, so they rely on input from others on what should be considered attractive.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Young people need a purpose higher than social media or the Kardashians. 

My older daughter was the archetypal social media butterfly in her high school years. Once she got to college, all that went out the window and out came someone completely different. 

She found her purpose. The younger daughter has always had her purpose so no issue there.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I have concerns about all of the photoshopping and the effects on my daughter AND on the expectations in today's dating world. 

I don't think we should glorify being obese, and the SI model, A S H L E Y (her name was all stars due to *that* site), is probably (IMO) at the top end of what is plump while still very physically attractive, although I have heard many men refer to her as a "cow". But from a health perspective, she eats well, exercises and her her waist/hip ratio indicates good heart health. Her BMI puts her in the overweight category but 5'9" and 170 isn't obese. And her modeling page puts her waist between 30" and 33" depending on the source so under the recommended 35". And yes, as someone slightly shorter and slightly heavier than her, I know most men aren't interested in my physically. But once I get down to her size, I'd be happy with my body, personally. 










OK BECAUSE OF HER FIRST NAME I CANNOT GET THIS PHOTO TO SHOW UP. :ROLLEYES:

And if men are so used to seeing movie stars who have tummy tucks and personal trainers and house cleaners and cooks and think that's the norm and easily attainable (not impossible, just not easy) that's nuts. Yes, the average woman can eat healthy and consume the right number of calories to keep her body fat percentage around a very attractive 25%. And she can probably find 30 minutes in her day for some form of exercise. But the average mother who works 40 hours and takes on 50%+ of the other chores, and add in quality family time and quality hubby time and 6 hours of sleep - they physically cannot attain that kind of body. There will be a little jiggle, sagging, cellulite and stretch marks without surgical (or laser) intervention.

On the photoshop end of the spectrum, I understand smoothing clothing wrinkles, adjusting some lighting or covering a pimple or a bruise, but to make otherwise lovely, toned women smaller is destructive to our young women and sets unrealistic expectations for our young men. Case in point like the OP - Zendaya. Here is a perfectly toned dancer body with lovely strong legs but someone decided they were too thick. So warm up the tones in the photo - ok - but those legs don't need any changes. There is NOTHING wrong with the photo on the right. I only see a beautiful, young, healthy dancer.










Why make Britney Spears waist smaller and face/cheekbones different? She's slender and pretty, even if a bit of a personal wreck. No need to change her appearance. In another photo they make her calves much smaller - she is more of a dancer than any other form of entertainer so of course her calves will be muscular.










It all sends a poor message - work out and have tightly toned abs but don't dare have muscular thighs or calves. (Or arms - notice they take the muscle definition out of her arms, too. I think that is attractive and healthy vs. "barbie doll" fake arms) Instead I'd rather see the real images of beautiful, healthy and fit women. They are out there - no need to make unattainable false images of them.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

My DD23 is both a Photoshop and real life makeup expert. She does not differentiate much between the two.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

john117 said:


> My DD23


What is this, a robot from Star Wars?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

After she has spent 20 hours straight in studio and another 4 grading papers she's probably closer to Chewbacca 

DD is dear daughter, 23 is her age.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Here is a post from Alyssa Sutherland on this actual topic (she is on the show Vikings)



> Hey. Thought I'd pull back the curtain for some of you young ladies out there. The thing is, we're constantly bombarded with gorgeous images of the women around us, whether they're celebrities or friends. The snaps you see them post are carefully chosen to project the beauty and lifestyle they want you to believe they have.
> 
> People take multiple selfies to get a good one, use all kinds of filters and tinker with all kinds of settings (the pic of me on the left is 1 of 7 I took, and obviously filtered and tweaked). When I was a model, we'd shoot ALL DAY (in amazing light, with a team of professionals) for only 8-10 pictures. We would literally shoot hundreds of frames to choose just 1, which was then perfected through hours of retouching.
> 
> Studies suggest looking at selfies on Facebook and other forms of social media can give females negative feelings about body image. I could have posted the pic on the left this morning (I mean, c'mon, this is the best selfie I've ever taken!), along with say, an inspirational quote or romantic poem I found online, making me look both HOT and profound. (Knowing me though the caption probably would have ended up a Yoda quote warning you of the "dark side" cause there's a cool shadow in the pic and I'm a ****ing nerd). And then I'd feel validated by likes and flattering comments. BUT, the reality is, today I'm tired. I woke up with a big pimple under my nose and I went to a "booty and abs" Pilates class this morning because I too am susceptible - I keep seeing images of girls with perfectly toned tummies and perky butts on here, and it makes me think I should be working harder, juicing more, eating more quinoa, eating less pizza, going to more parties, wearing cooler clothes (I have NEVER been "airport chic" and I NEVER will be. Seriously?? THAT'S what you wore on a plane?!), vacationing in exotic locales, and ugh, WINNING MORE GRAMMYS. Also, my eyebrows are never on fleek. Let's be real. We're all just ****ing sitting here on Instagram in our sweats.


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## Kilgoretrout (Feb 2, 2016)

staarz21 said:


> I agree and disagree. I think that most people today don't even realize that what's portrayed in the media isn't "real". Since they don't know, they continue to buy into the crap that is put out there. It's easy to find a few celebs that put their unphotoshopped selves on the Internet (and then it's only for like one or two pics), much harder to find others that do.
> 
> In addition, they have those that do the "no makeup" from time to time...hate to say it, but most of them are STILL wearing makeup. There are no makeup, makeup routines that people do. My husband is like "see look at her with no makeup, you can still look good." I just say, Uhm babe, she is still wearing makeup." He never believes me.
> 
> ...


No, stay 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Here is another photoshop to make ass pop out and bring in waist. Really makes no sense given she is in great shape already. Hopefully the people that follow her realize that a) she photoshops heavily and b) her "candid" photos on IG are more like full on photo sessions with the right lighting, etc... Nothing like setting unrealistic expectations for both females and males ...


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Everyone should take a life drawing class. My feeling is at a young age when body image starts to sink in. Drawing models of both genders, of varying ages and body types, teaches you about the realities of anatomy.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

I wish health would be emphasized over form. But that's not going to happen so it's up to us parents to set the tone with our kids. We emphasize physical fitness with our young kids already. Our 2 year old loves the big Kids playground equipment but will often say she can't do something. We encourage her to try and we will help. Our infant HATES tummy time but his ped says it's fine to increase it a little each time even if he cries. One of the reasons I want to home school is most schools don't encourage enough physical activity as part of the regular school day.

I think if we start early encouraging our kids in healthy lifestyles and physical activity then we have a chance at reducing the social media influence on them. Maybe I'm too optimistic but I'm going to give it my best shot.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

thefam said:


> I wish health would be emphasized over form. But that's not going to happen so it's up to us parents to set the tone with our kids. We emphasize physical fitness with our young kids already. Our 2 year old loves the big Kids playground equipment but will often say she can't do something. We encourage her to try and we will help. Our infant HATES tummy time but his ped says it's fine to increase it a little each time even if he cries. *One of the reasons I want to home school is most schools don't encourage enough physical activity as part of the regular school day.*
> 
> I think if we start early encouraging our kids in healthy lifestyles and physical activity then we have a chance at reducing the social media influence on them. Maybe I'm too optimistic but I'm going to give it my best shot.


This is true and varies from region to region. I grew up in MInnesota and gym was a 45 min class only required to high school 3 times a week. We had 15 minute recess attached to a 40 minute lunch before that. Most of that was standing around not moving. My kids now in Colorado have 3 recesses every single day and gym 3 times a week on top of that, they also exercise in classrooms by doing jumping jacks. You can tell by the culture here why this place is one of the fittest states, health and excercise is all around you.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Wolf1974 said:


> This is true and varies from region to region. I grew up in MInnesota and gym was a 45 min class only required to high school 3 times a week. We had 15 minute recess attached to a 40 minute lunch before that. Most of that was standing around not moving. *My kids now in Colorado have 3 recesses every single day and gym 3 times a week on top of that, they also exercise in classrooms by doing jumping jacks. You can tell by the culture here why this place is one of the fittest states, health and excercise is all around you.*


That is awesome (plus they have the Broncos ). I remember when I was working out in Arizona, it was just a completely different lifestyle. Simple things like food choices / restaurants were more focused on healthy eating. Interesting though, with the younger people being in better shape there, I also found them much more conscious about their looks

I am hopeful that my kids will see my wife and I exercising and trying to be healthy, and use it as a positive. We just need to do our best as well in terms of their expectations and social pressures they will undoubtedly feel regarding their body image.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

EllisRedding said:


> That is awesome (plus they have the Broncos ). I remember when I was working out in Arizona, it was just a completely different lifestyle. Simple things like food choices / restaurants were more focused on healthy eating. Interesting though, with the younger people being in better shape there, I also found them much more conscious about their looks
> 
> I am hopeful that my kids will see my wife and I exercising and trying to be healthy, and use it as a positive. We just need to do our best as well in terms of their expectations and social pressures they will undoubtedly feel regarding their body image.


Funny you mention food my friend. Culture is just so different here. When my Gf and her childhood friends get together it is Always centered around and activity or doing something. Thier meals generally consist of like finger foods and appetizers, meat veggies fruits. 

Where I grew up everything was centered around food. When you got together it is was to eat then maybe something after. Food was going to be fried and heavy on carbs and you can see the difference. Everyone of my friends who stayed in the Midwest at 40 are now fat, not a little heavy....fat. All of her people are fit and trim. I think the two things that saved me from that fate was one, I left so clearly that helps, and two my parents were from the east coast and didn't subscribe to overly heavy meals. Parental influence is a huge thing




And yes we have the Broncos . Still smiling and telling everyone I told you so form the Super Bowl..... Was a great day of validation


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I agree health and fitness should receive more attention. Including school lunches.

A sad commentary on my first enthusiastic attempt at fitness here in the south:

I remember hearing we had a new PE teacher, a woman. It was 7th grade and my first year in our Junior High School. The first day we gathered in the gymnasium and she introduced herself, assigned lockers, informed us of the dress code (no uniforms - shorts down to our fingertips or sweatpants and no sleeveless shirts) and explained the different activities we would be trying in the upcoming quarter. Only one quarter (9 weeks) of PE was required by SC each year up until high school requirements kicked in.

Day 2. I had packed what I thought was my cutest active outfit (for 1978) - my royal blue terrycloth shorts with white and red piping trim and a white scoop-neck T-shirt and on my feet were white pom-pom footy socks and my white Nikes with a blue swoosh. I was very modest so changing was a humiliating experience but I did it quickly and one article of clothing at a time before going out to the gymnasium.

We all randomly gathered, boys and girls, in front of the PE teacher. Our first activity to try was going to be aerobics - no doubt inspired by Olivia Newton-John! She put on the music and we all spread out in a rows where I slunk to the back row and so it began. I had been a chubby kid and had finally mostly grown into my weight and I was excited about the prospect of looking good and getting fit. I jumped in with full enthusiasm! While most of the kids did half-hearted jumping jacks with their feet barely leaving the ground, I gave it my all! I felt so proud, so strong! Jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups, leg lifts... all in time to music alternating strength moves with aerobic moves and the coach leading the way. 

When it was over I was sweaty and felt great - like I had accomplished something! I had kept up! Gone was the chubby kid no one picked for softball! We headed to the locker room where I gathered my things and headed to the shower, relieved at the privacy I would have by that white plastic curtain hanging in front of blue stall dividers. I stripped on the old, dingy tile and turned on the water keeping my hair out of the stream but rinsing the sweat off my body. I could hear giggles and whispers "who is in the SHOWER?" "Ew! Yuk!" "Oh my, God who IS that?!" Apparently, public showers were completely gross to these girls as was any girl who used them. I was completely embarrassed and waited as LONG as I could to dress and leave the shower. To the few girls left in the locker room, I sheepishly ducked my head and murmured some excuse for showering and shoved my things in the locker, grabbed my books and left.

I apparently didn't get the memo. I learned quickly that athletic girls were gay and that gay was bad. I learned you didn't try hard - you tried hard to not sweat (in September in South Carolina - nearly impossible). Baby powder and Love's Baby Soft, not showers, were the ONLY acceptable answers to perspiration after gym. And when it got cool, don't even change. Get baggy sweatpants and pull them over your jeans. And as often as possible, ask the coach to let you sit out due to 'cramps', even though I never got menstrual cramps (still don't).

I can look back now, remember my feelings so vividly. My optimism, hope, enthusiasm, my shame and humiliation and my need for acceptance. I hated not being able to climb the knotted rope but it was OK because girls didn't do that, they just giggled and fell off and shrugged their shoulders and stepped aside to roll on more cherry flavored 'Kissing Potion" lip gloss.

The fact I remember that day so clearly tells me just how impactful it was to my perception of women in fitness. And while Olivia Newton John made it look glamorous to get fit, the girls of South Carolina had a very different attitude toward exercise. Every year after was the same. Change, avoid exercise, gossip, check appearance, repeat. I still hate sweating to this day. I don't think I had given it a thought before then. I struggle with my weight now when back then I could have changed the course of my physical well-being had it not been for peer-pressure.

My daughter's experience is not all that different. Long basketball shorts and T-shirt is the school PE uniform. My daughter told me they "don't do much" in gym. Her requirement was the same - one 9-week session each year. Then in high school it is required to graduate and it's a year-long program of alternating days of health and PE. Most everyone takes it their Freshman year to "get it over with". Right at the age when most girls are concerned about how "fat" they are and boys are more concerned about how "buff" they are.

If we want a nation of healthy people, having active parents is important, but having an active education is, too.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> Funny you mention food my friend. Culture is just so different here. When my Gf and her childhood friends get together it is Always centered around and activity or doing something. Thier meals generally consist of like finger foods and appetizers, meat veggies fruits.
> 
> Where I grew up everything was centered around food. When you got together it is was to eat then maybe something after. Food was going to be fried and heavy on carbs and you can see the difference. Everyone of my friends who stayed in the Midwest at 40 are now fat, not a little heavy....fat. All of her people are fit and trim. I think the two things that saved me from that fate was one, I left so clearly that helps, and two my parents were from the east coast and didn't subscribe to overly heavy meals. Parental influence is a huge thing
> 
> ...


And in the deep south it's awful. My parents grew up in the NE and always had a wide variety of foods. All sorts of ethnic recipes - we ate corned beef and cabbage, stuffed peppers, lasagne, swedish meatballs... lots of different types of foods and vegetables.

Mom was a nurse and I can remember her ticking off on her fingers and talking to herself "we have a protein, a green vegetable, a starch...." and as she sought to provide a complete meal, if I suggested corn as a vegetable she would say we already had a starch (if we did although technically it's a grain but still, she was right it wasn't another vegetable). 

Because of this, I remember my first REAL southern meal. My boyfriend took me to his Grandma's for Sunday dinner. The menu: fried chicken, corn, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, potato salad, pasta salad, biscuits and gravy. The only green item was gooped over with canned cream of mushroom soup and french fried onions! Needless to say, his entire family (and my BF) were heavy.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Photoshopping makes no sense to me when it's like some of the above examples, in either men or women. 

Current BF is incredibly hot, lean but very pretty cut, and although he doesn't seem to do much exercise, claims to hike/run a lot when the weather warms up. He has at most, a little jiggle in the tummy area, pretty good for late 30s. By any standard, WAY more attractive than me, who am early 30s and while I'm losing weight slowly (the healthy way), am a bit chubby, I've had a child and no matter how many abs classes I attend, that extra jiggle in MY tummy area is highly unlikely to go anywhere. Sometimes I hate him a little for how easily he seems to keep the weight off - we're talking pretty fatty foods most days, but then he'll skip a meal hehe

He still seems a tiny bit self-conscious about the extra jiggle, and wants to be bulkier, I guess because he got the notion that because I find a certain Hollywood actor attractive, and he doesn't look exactly like him, that he isn't still incredibly attractive. It's insane how much pressure there is on BOTH sexes to look a certain way, and I agree a lot of it is exacerbated by the constant bloody instagraming celebs do. 

I will always love the beautiful Alyssa Milano, because when after her pregnancy, she kept a bit of the weight on for a while (honestly, still probably less time than most mothers) and was publicly shamed for it, she responded in a rather classy way and remained unapologetic for focusing on her kids and her health rather than losing weight as quickly as possible. I do like that she posted a breast-feeding pic on social media but that's another minefield hehe. Talk about getting caught up in social media - yikes! I just failed my gender. Sigh.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

jorgegene said:


> i'm of the opinion that 'ordinary' people with all their zits, 'imperfect bodies', cellulite, and even aging are the sexiest (within some limits defined by only by each individual).
> 
> the proof is here: just go to your local mall or airport and you will see many better looking (or at least as), sexier people than 98% of all hollywood stars.


Not at *our *local mall! :surprise:


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

tech-novelist said:


> Not at *our *local mall! :surprise:


ha!

Yah, probably quite a difference between say a mall in DeMoines and 
Santa Monica.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

joannacroc said:


> Photoshopping makes no sense to me when it's like some of the above examples, in either men or women.
> 
> Current BF is incredibly hot, lean but very pretty cut, and although he doesn't seem to do much exercise, claims to hike/run a lot when the weather warms up. He has at most, a little jiggle in the tummy area, pretty good for late 30s. By any standard, WAY more attractive than me, who am early 30s and while I'm losing weight slowly (the healthy way), am a bit chubby, I've had a child and no matter how many abs classes I attend, that extra jiggle in MY tummy area is highly unlikely to go anywhere. Sometimes I hate him a little for how easily he seems to keep the weight off - we're talking pretty fatty foods most days, but then he'll skip a meal hehe
> 
> ...


It's not just that the celebs are doing it, it is also how some peoples partners are reacting to it.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

What I find interesting from the male side of things are all these actors that undergo these "physical transformations" in a short period of time for a movie role. The media, magazines, etc... all praise these guys, talk about the workouts they did so you can look like them to, and naturally (ironic choice of words) when you ask these actors about it they all fall back on the "just good old hard work" mantra.

Let's face it, the amount of money at risk, I can not blame them one bit for turning to PEDs. As well, admitting they used PEDs would only further hurt their career given the current negative stigma that surrounds it. 

Problem is, open up a Men's Health magazine and you get bombarded with "Eat/Train like the Rock", "Do the Thor Workout", etc... any normal person does this they won't come even close to looking like these guys, odds are just get fat and injured.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> What I find interesting from the male side of things are all these actors that undergo these "physical transformations" in a short period of time for a movie role. The media, magazines, etc... all praise these guys, talk about the workouts they did so you can look like them to, and naturally (ironic choice of words) when you ask these actors about it they all fall back on the "just good old hard work" mantra.
> 
> Let's face it, the amount of money at risk, I can not blame them one bit for turning to PEDs. As well, admitting they used PEDs would only further hurt their career given the current negative stigma that surrounds it.
> 
> Problem is, open up a Men's Health magazine and you get bombarded with "Eat/Train like the Rock", "Do the Thor Workout", etc... any normal person does this they won't come even close to looking like these guys, odds are just get fat and injured.


Not to mention that the photos and film of these guys are just as victimized by photoshop, makeup, lighting affects, trimming, enhancing as any of the women's.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Celebrity worship has in large part led to the actual personhood, the image of the celebrity to be just as marketable as their body of work, be it movies, music, sports or what not. In some cases, their personhood is more of a commodity than what they actually do, and part of selling something is putting it in the best packaging possible, even if it is false and misleading. The real issue is that so many people are finding it increasingly difficult to separate the packaging from the person.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> It's not just that the celebs are doing it, it is also how some peoples partners are reacting to it.


Don't most people understand, though, that these photos represent a fantasy rather an a reality, and that their partner is obviously NOT going to look like someone with a personal trainer, chef, dietician and pro photographer/hairdresser/makeup artist/stylist etc. etc. ?

I mean, I can't think of a social media example, but guys enjoy looking at Victoria Secret catalogs/show/what-have-you, but I think they're probably aware that in real life, they're not dating Alessandra Ambrosio, right? Again, bad example, as I am a bit of an internet dinosaur. :grin2:


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

joannacroc said:


> Don't most people understand, though, that these photos represent a fantasy rather an a reality, and that their partner is obviously NOT going to look like someone with a personal trainer, chef, dietician and pro photographer/hairdresser/makeup artist/stylist etc. etc. ?
> 
> I mean, I can't think of a social media example, but guys enjoy looking at Victoria Secret catalogs/show/what-have-you, but I think they're probably aware that in real life, they're not dating Alessandra Ambrosio, right? Again, bad example, as I am a bit of an internet dinosaur. :grin2:


Unfortunately no, or at least the line is a lot more blurred now. Part of the issue is Instagram, which is meant to share candid photos. Many people don't realize that for some the photos being posted, they are in fact professional photos (lighting, photoshop, etc...). I had posted this quote earlier:



> Studies suggest looking at selfies on Facebook and other forms of social media can give females negative feelings about body image.


So this does impact females, but as well starts to give males unrealistic expectations.

Following up on my points before as well, when young guys keep reading articles about their favorite actor, etc... and how this physique is achievable just simply by hard work, it does start to mess with their heads. Similar to females, many of the images are photoshopped, and many of the guys have used PEDs to get the physique being showcased.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

joannacroc said:


> Don't most people understand, though, that these photos represent a fantasy rather an a reality, and that their partner is obviously NOT going to look like someone with a personal trainer, chef, dietician and pro photographer/hairdresser/makeup artist/stylist etc. etc. ?
> 
> I mean, I can't think of a social media example, but guys enjoy looking at Victoria Secret catalogs/show/what-have-you, but I think they're probably aware that in real life, they're not dating Alessandra Ambrosio, right? Again, bad example, as I am a bit of an internet dinosaur. :grin2:


I think to a certain extent they realize it, but isn't that part of the root of body image issues? Not just seeing unrealistic images, but seeing how positively other people, including their friends, their partners react to the fantasy, the unrealism, the special effects, and then feeling bad that they can't live up to the image?

It is very difficult to look at something, intellectually realize that the thing that looks like a person, acts like a person, talks like a person, really is just a special effects created image they are responding to, and not the real person. Many people have a difficult time with the level of compartimentalization and objectification to keep the two things entirely separate.


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