# Hoping, hoping, hoping



## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

Why does the hoping have to hurt so much? Every contact, every reminder in the house we shared for 16 of our more than 20 years together just puts a bigger hole in my heart. I know the D paperwork has been filed, his attorney called me today by accident to work out when the sheriff could meet me, he was supposed to call him first. When I told the attorney that he said he misread the note and would call him. I have hope everyday that something will stop this, I don't want this and I am powerless to change it. So, so sad


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

Why are you going thru divorce?

What happened?

Have you talked to him at all?


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

oh yes, I talk to him all the time, not very much about why the D. He says he loves me but not in love with me. Told me that months ago. He knows I do not wish to be divorced, that I wish we had given it some hard work and effort. Last week we had dinner, just a nice, comfortable night out, ended with us both crying, but now I think we were crying for different reasons. Me cause I hope he will come back and him because he knows how sad and hurt I am.


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

Have you tried marriage counseling? Would you both be willing to go? Couldn't hurt.

I am sorry for what you are going thru. I know how difficult it is.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

we did, but the whole time he just wanted to talk about how hard it was for him and that he wanted a D, never opened up to the possibility of reconciliation. Last week we had dinner together and shared a very emotional discussion but not sure where we went.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

He is probably cheating.
Men tend to leave wives when they are involved with another woman and in the new, romantic phase of a new relationship. The phrase "I love you but am not in love with you." the script. The going to marriage counseling and not working to fix things, the script.

Yes, every contact will hurt.


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## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

I know we have often been taught that hope is a wonderful thing, but in circumstances such as this - hoping for someone who does not want to be with you anymore, this type of hope feels like it can kill you sometimes. You have no control over it at all, and you feel anxious constantly. And that anxiety can literally make you feel physically ill. I feel that we can only start to recover when we let go of the grip on hope, and learn to accept that life can be just as meaningful with or without our spouse.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

So sorry to hear your going throug this. I remember that I heard those words from my wife and it sent chills down my spine.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

chattycathy said:


> He is probably cheating.
> Men tend to leave wives when they are involved with another woman and in the new, romantic phase of a new relationship. The phrase "I love you but am not in love with you." the script. The going to marriage counseling and not working to fix things, the script.
> 
> Yes, every contact will hurt.


Yea, I think he's cheating too.


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