# wife dose not let me finish in her?



## hailmarduk (Jul 28, 2015)

Okay so i am new hear i have been married for 16 years with 1 son. For the last 9 years my wife has not let me finish in her and i really miss doing it of course i respect her i just need help in talking to her about letting me do this again. She is on birth controll pill and high blood pressure meds. 

Many years ago she would let me finish in her with no problem but now she says she does not like the feeling, like I said if anyone can offer advice man or woman i would greatly appreciate it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Well...where do you finish?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

So you are probably in your 30's/ 40's. Is she having dryness issues? Sometime the proteins in your seamen can cause irritation. Maybe, she ends up being itchy and feeling gross down there. We try not to tell our husbands these things, you know. So find out if it's a gyno. problem.

Or she just feels yucky down there when it happens. Or she is worried about having another baby.
The pills are not 100% effective.

Just talk to her, tell her how much you enjoy being in her and finishing in her. That's it's really special to you.


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## hailmarduk (Jul 28, 2015)

Thanks brooklynann she dosent like the feeling and is scared getting pregnant again... 

And the two other idiots shut the hell up..


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Why are you calling me an idiot? It's a legit question. On her belly, in your hand...? If she's that squeamish then where do you finish?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Have the two of you tried sex therapy?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Damn, @marduk... you're so badass folks are now creating accounts named in your honor?!?

Wow.

Maybe one day we'll see a "hailgus" around here.

LOL.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Shut up Gus and Bandit. Give the guy a helping hand. Sensitivity guys. No pun intended.>


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Damn, @marduk... you're so badass folks are now creating accounts named in your honor?!?
> 
> Wow.
> 
> ...


Your bromance from @weightlifter and @morituri wasn't enough???

How many ego kibbles does one need?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Maybe the OP chose his name for religious reasons. Marduk is a part of the Sumerian pantheon who fought Tiamet.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

brooklynAnn said:


> Shut up Gus and Bandit. Give the guy a helping hand. Sensitivity guys. No pun intended.>


Perhaps you'd intended to address pistal, because I don't see how my contribution could -- in any way -- be construed as insensitive.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Maybe the OP chose his name for religious reasons. Marduk is a part of the Sumerian pantheon who fought Tiamet.


Geez... I just knew that someone was gonna spoil my fun.


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## hailmarduk (Jul 28, 2015)

It dosent matter where i finish napkin, belly etc i am just looking how to bring it up to my wife with out causing an argument. And what does my screen name matter? Seriously if you are here just to bust some balls then you need to grow up..


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

hailmarduk said:


> It dosent matter where i finish napkin, belly etc i am just looking how to bring it up to my wife with out causing an argument. And what does my screen name matter? Seriously if you are here just to bust some balls then you need to grow up..


Relax, brother.

There is another guy on here named @marduk.

Are your interactions with your wife this tense?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

hailmarduk said:


> It dosent matter where i finish napkin, belly etc i am just looking how to bring it up to my wife with out causing an argument. And what does my screen name matter? Seriously if you are here just to bust some balls then you need to grow up..


Dude. Seriously. Chill the f*ck out.

We have another poster here named marduk. My reply regarding your chosen handle was meant as nothing more than a light joke in which I implied that you may have named your account in honor of him. That's all.

Realistically speaking, while I had no idea that "Marduk" is a figure from ancient Sumerian/Babylonian/Iraqi history, I figured it was pretty likely to have been something along those lines.

Geez.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
Do you and your wife have great difficulty communicating? If this was not a problem prior and now it is, then there is something that has changed. It does not seem to me to be at all unreasonable to broach a conversation with your partner wherein you inquire what is different and why.

If she becomes agitated or upset at the question, then you two have more significant issues than where you finish. Intimacy is a joining of two people where each is concerned and aware of the needs and feelings of the other. Are you saying this is not so in your situation? If it is so, perhaps your wife can help calm your angst and offer a reasonable explanation. Or perhaps she does not realize the significance of this to you and it is, for her, merely a convenience issue.

Additionally, you would be well served to not allow your temper to flair and respond so abruptly to posters. This is a public forum and as such there is a wide array of opinions and ideas on how to advise those who come here. If a particular response does not meet with your approval then simply ignore it and move on. Also, these boards get quite intense at times as we experience peoples lives crumbling before them so levity is a welcome respite at times.

There are also many sections of this forum and a good number of the posters here post in the CWI section looking for help and a lifeline as they experience catastrophic problems in their marriage. There have been posters who indicated changes in their wife's behavior when another man is involved so the idea is not as far fetched as you may think, especially considering that we know nothing about you save for the few words you posted. Try to remember that you are not in a psychiatrist's office and that you are not spending hundreds of dollars an hour for this service. We offer what help we feel we can given what we know and it is most always worth more than is paid for it.

How can you know until you inquire? Do not fear your wife's response until you experience it. It may not be at all as you fear.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

This should have been addressed 9 years ago. I can't imagine any woman "likes the feeling" of semen oozing out of them, but many love what the significance of it means if they love their man. 

Put it this way....if she were to have an affair, or you divorced and she dated someone else, you can bet she'd love it then. So why not now, with you?

How's your sex life other than that? Frequency and passion? Or are you committing the cardinal sin of accepting pity sex?

Seems there's more at play here than here just not liking the feeling, and you need to try to get to the root of it. 

As you're aware, it is a significant thing to feel that release while connected (inside of) your wife and for lovers to share in that moment. For that to be denied for anything short of a medical reason reduces closeness during sex and should have been a "no go" for you the first time (again, without sufficient good cause) she stated her desire for you, her husband, to not ejaculate inside her. Nine years of beta "OK honey, if that's what it takes for you to still have sex with me" behavior is going to be hard to overcome. A 0.1% chance of pregnancy excuse doesn't seem to fly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Make it all about her! I was going to offer setting up a whole website just for you about the positive effects of semen for women, as there are some threads here now that talk about how absorbing your partners hormones is good for both health and your relationship. Anyway, many other websites already beat me to it:

Semen is 'good for women's health and helps fight depression' | Daily Mail Online

10 Surprising Health Benefits Of Semen | Professor Kimberly Resnick Anderson | YourTango

Does Semen Make Women Happy? | World of Psychology

BBC NEWS | Health | Semen 'makes women happy'

...are just a few to start!


Now to be more serious and here is how to start a conversation on the topic... It IS possible that her birth control has disrupted the hormonal balance of things in her vagina making things irritated when semen is present. You can tell her that you care about her and have her stop using birth control and YOU could be the one to take responsibility for this and get a vasectomy or other forms of male birth control. This will show her that you care about her AND possibly improve the balance of things down there so that finishing inside will not be as uncomfortable. 

ALSO... use coconut oil as a personal lubricant if you have not tried it already as opposed to other lubricants that can be irritating. 

Best wishes, 
Badsanta

PS: Also try using a lambskin condom as a way to start back finishing inside until other issues with BC and vigilant hormone balance are resolved. Lambskins allow for feeling skin on skin contact for you, and no mess left inside for her which makes for a quick temporary fix to help the two of you reconnect and demonstrate you willingness to be the one that takes responsibility for BC.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

farsidejunky said:


> Your bromance from @weightlifter and @morituri wasn't enough???
> 
> How many ego kibbles does one need?


LOL. More, I guess.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

She's on birth control, right? Have you tried wearing a condom? 

I can't imagine how any wife could say to her husband, you can't ejaculate inside of me because it's yucky. If she's that immature she shouldn't be married! Life is messy! Get dirty and enjoy it!

Does your wife have OCD or something? Is she an entitled princess?

She needs to be made to understand that for you, this feels like a rejection and it dampens your enjoyment. I wonder if her tune would change if you backed away from her just as she was about to orgasm saying the fluids kind of gross you out? Think she'd be okay with that? 

Don't do that or this will turn into a battle of wills. You've been respectful of her feelings because she brought her feeling up to you. Now you must give her the opportunity to respect your feelings by explains to her how this makes you feel.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Bugged said:


> It's more common than you think. I've never had sex without a condom for instance.
> Most women i know prefer condoms because it's less messy.
> Noone I know is on BC..it also messes with your hormones..the only one that tried BC stopped after one year and after gaining 10 pounds...moreover she was a smoker..bad idea.
> 
> OP you should respect her request.


While I'm not going to support the OP to just do it and tell his wife that this is the way it's going to be for now on (which can blow up in his face big time I suspect), I think the women you know who prefer sex with a condom is highly skewed. Every woman that I've been involved with has preferred to feel sex bare back. Is semen messy? Of course, but my wife prefers to feel me directly while we have sex and then deals with the semen later - usually with a pad for a few hours to soak up the vast majority of it. To the wife, the semen is a byproduct of a passionate sexual encounter. 

Last GF at university before my wife was probably even more into sex without condoms. I think she actually enjoyed the thought of having my semen inside of her. She never wore a pad to soak it up and she seemed content to just let it run out on its own. I think she liked the feeling of it coming out TBH, but maybe that's a little TMI.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Maybe the OP chose his name for religious reasons. Marduk is a part of the Sumerian pantheon who fought Tiamet.


Nerd.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Bugged said:


> It's more common than you think. I've never had sex without a condom for instance.
> Most women i know prefer condoms because it's less messy.
> Noone I know is on BC..it also messes with your hormones..the only one that tried BC stopped after one year and after gaining 10 pounds...moreover she was a smoker..bad idea.
> 
> OP you should respect her request.


Wait......


You've had sex?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

badsanta said:


> It IS possible that her birth control has disrupted the hormonal balance of things in her vagina making things irritated when semen is present. You can tell her that you care about her and have her stop using birth control and YOU could be the one to take responsibility for this and get a vasectomy or other forms of male birth control. This will show her that you care about her AND possibly improve the balance of things down there so that finishing inside will not be as uncomfortable.
> 
> ALSO... use coconut oil as a personal lubricant if you have not tried it already as opposed to other lubricants that can be irritating.
> 
> ...


^^This.
@hailmarduk please read and reread @badsanta post above. Your wife has given you her reasons for not wanting you to ejaculate in her - fear of pregnancy and not liking the "leaky" feeling - neither of which is uncommon. 

You can alleviate the pregnancy concern by taking a more active role in birth control. B.C. is a team effort and there are several options for men to employ. Communicate these with your wife and TOGETHER agree to a plan.

The "leaky" feeling is a whole other issue altogether. You can't tell your wife how she's supposed to feel. She may legitimately hate having your semen leaking out her all day. I don't know about your wife, but some women have enough muscle strength down there to 'push' the semen out. Ask her to give it a try. And as @badsanta mentioned, you can use always use lambskin condoms. It's not ideal but will allow you to finish inside while preventing the leaky feeling and alleviate pregnancy fears.

The key here is for you and her to communicate your feelings and options openly to each other. Do not, under any circumstances, finish inside of her without her acknowledgement. This will only breed mistrust in you and will lead to more issues down the road.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

@Bugged, I think that's absurd. Common or not it's selfish and uncaring. How would you like it if he pulled away just as you start to orgasm so the he doesn't get girl juice on him?

Commingling of body fluids is part of sex and if you're too squeamish about body fluids it's time to grow up and get over it. Reminds me of kids who freak out if the food on their plate touches. You don't have to be in love with semen but you really do have to have a certain comfort level with the stuff. After sex she can clean herself to rid the semen from her vagina. Baby wipe rinsed in warm water wrapped around your finger, inserted into vagina, twirl a bit, and presto the vagina will not leak.

I wouldn't have sex with a man who thought my girl juice was "yucky" so I can't imagine a man being okay that his partner thought his jizz was "yucky."


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

hailmarduk said:


> It dosent matter where i finish napkin, belly etc i am just looking how to bring it up to my wife with out causing an argument. And what does my screen name matter? Seriously if you are here just to bust some balls then you need to grow up..


It doesn't matter where?

You get to come in a napkin....

Nice.

I say argue. Argue the fvck out of it. I wouldn't stay with a woman who wouldn't let me finish in her.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

If she's on high blood pressure meds how is her doctor continuing to put her on the pill given it's risk of indeed, increasing blood pressure and blood clotting? That seems like a really dangerous combination, myself. 

You wife has expressed one legitimate problem, OP, regardless of everyone else's bravado about how they'd handle that (including apparently the comment that real men don't ask for consent in sex acts, that doesn't scream entitlement or anything.) If she has said she is concerned about pregnancy - how are you handling this concern? 

I'm guessing for the nine years you haven't handled it. The pill isn't 100% effective. So your BC is now the pill combined with the pull and pray. If you want to change her concerns about the pregnancy aspect, you need to address that in some manner. Talking her into something or just finishing without the go-ahead isn't going to fix the issue long-term, and might make the situation worse. 

So - how are we addressing this concern?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Bugged said:


> well..lots of women think it's icky..not _all_ women and possibly not _most_ women..but lots..what do we do? Nail them to the cross?
> :nerd:


We do the same thing to women who are squeamish about semen that we do to men who are squeamish about changing a diaper. Tell them to grow the fvck up.

Using shame to influence behavior can and sometimes does go to far. Shaming a man for being immature about changing a diaper is, I think, totally appropriate. He should be ashamed! Shaming a woman for being squeamish about semen, is also appropriate. 

Like I said, she doesn't have to love the stuff, she just has to accept the stuff.

ETA: it's okay if you think it's icky. No one particularly enjoys a dirty diaper either. But you do have to accept it as normal and not react as if it's acid.


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

I was on the other side of this issue for years. My STBX refused to finish inside me, even when I was on the pill and we were married. It really bothered me because it meant he pulled out and finished himself off, then ran right away into the bathroom, resulting in a very abrupt ending to our bonding experience. No cuddling or basking in the glow after. He then just either went and got a snack or came back to bed and turned the TV on (if it wasn't already). 
His excuse was that he'd always done this (fear of unwanted pregnancy) and felt it was more "polite" then leaving me "icky". 

I never found it an inconvenience at all. You just use the bathroom shortly after, pee, and most of it comes out Then a baby wipe, and you're pretty much good. Might be some slight leakage - but certainly not all day!!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> We do the same thing to women who are squeamish about semen that we do to men who are squeamish about changing a diaper. Tell them to grow the fvck up.
> 
> Using shame to influence behavior can and sometimes does go to far. Shaming a man for being immature about changing a diaper is, I think, totally appropriate. He should be ashamed! Shaming a woman for being squeamish about semen, is also appropriate.
> 
> Like I said, she doesn't have to love the stuff, she just has to accept the stuff.


Yah, we all do stuff we're not that crazy about for the sake of bonding and the love/sex act in it's entirety.

my wife wants me to lay on top of her and stay in her for 5-10 minutes after we consumate the act. I'm not crazy about that. never have been. a bit uncomfortable. but you what what? she loves it and insists. So I do it for her. we do stuff for those we love and put up with some inconvenience.

I like the comment from the above poster who said 'if you don't really like the sex act why are you married?' or something to that effect.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

Another post with comments from a couple of people that make me wonder how so many teenagers snuck onto TAM? Some of you either need to grow up or shut up. This guy is here to discuss a problem that is a real issue for him and a couple of you are childish jerks. You surely know who you are.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

After my son was born my ex W chose to have a tubal (against my wishes) but not having to worry about birth control made sex a LOT more enjoyable for me... but our sex life was already well along a downward slide and I suspect her choice for a tubal was in preparation for the other path in life she chose which didn't include our marriage... so that enjoyment didn't last long.

After my divorce I was considering vasectomy, and still am just haven't quite pulled the trigger on that yet, and in my current relationship I never finish inside - she is averse to oral contraceptives or IUD because of the detrimental hormonal health effects, and condoms completely take the fun out of it for both of us. I never finish inside, we use pullout method combined with rhythm method. We are both very satisfied but to me not finishing inside definitely leaves a slight feeling of incompletion, which is not usually a problem to either of us but once in awhile can be slightly frustrating - in which case I ask her to swallow and that incomplete feeling goes away.

IMO, there most certainly is a biological need for a man to have his mate accept his gift of genetic payload, in some way or another.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Alright then, @Bugged, answer the question, how would you feel if your partner pulled away from you just as you began to orgasm because he thought girl juice was icky?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Bugged said:


> If he has problems with girl juice he wouldn't even start would he?So no problem :grin2:
> 
> Unless I'm not getting what yuo mean with _girl juice_...
> 
> :nerd:



Well he could use Saran Wrap. It also prevents stds and infections. HPV is the leading cause of throat cancer in men.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Bugged said:


> ..
> you cannot leave a baby with a dirty diaper...so it's obvious that someone HAS to change the diaper...in this case..it is not necessary...again, you can use a condom and that's it..you don't have to force someone to do something they're not comfortable with just because you want it _your _way...
> unless she doesn't want to use condoms..which would make things even more complicated...:nerd:


:slap:


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Bugged said:


> not our problem as we don't have oral sex.:grin2:
> If one has oral sex it would probably be a very good idea..you can also use dental dams apparently>


If I thought that I needed to use any sort of protective measure in order to enjoy sex w/ my wife, she wouldn't be my wife.

Additionally, I'd imagine that most folks hold similar opinions on the matter.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Starstarfish said:


> *If she's on high blood pressure meds how is her doctor continuing to put her on the pill given it's risk of indeed, increasing blood pressure and blood clotting? That seems like a really dangerous combination, myself.*
> 
> You wife has expressed one legitimate problem, OP, regardless of everyone else's bravado about how they'd handle that (including apparently the comment that real men don't ask for consent in sex acts, that doesn't scream entitlement or anything.) If she has said she is concerned about pregnancy - how are you handling this concern?
> 
> ...


My wife and I shared this concern w/ our fertility doc when he put her on BCP (briefly) a couple of years ago. During all of the initial testing that was done, we found that she carries a genetic abnormality that lends itself to blood clotting. Based on this, we were advised that she should _never_ take BCP. (Thankfully, she'd never taken it before.)

Anyway, he said it would be fine so long as it was offset w/ daily aspirin.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Bugged said:


> With condoms! they can also prevent stds and infections.
> perfect contraceptive IMO:grin2:


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## jmsclayton (Sep 5, 2010)

Hi hailmarduck

Writing from cell phone due computer in shop

Read thru my responses on cuddlebug

A woman doesn't feel the semen itself usually 
Second she only has nerve endings at the entrance 
Not deep inside
She only feels your vibrations of you being in

She only would feel and empty feeling physically literal of needing you in there 
If she not experiencing that now she has an emotional issue 
You do needto see a sex therapist or one who gives you assignment in the bedroom 

If she is not emotionally relax 
She wont be physically relax
If she has an emotional issue with sex which appears to me she does
By what you say regarding her response
She going to have issues with her have sex 
If it was not an issue before child 

Usually children will bring up sexual issues with sex in women 

Due to what it reminds her of the past
Some issues for women with sex and semen is the purpose of it after kids
She doesn't realize her son needs you two to be have sex
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

On reading, I too thought it was the fear of pregnancy...

This used to be such a plot-spoiler for sex when we were younger too... now (with age on our side ), I'm often finishing in her.

Just out of curiosity: did she specifically she didn't want this? Do you take a longish time to climax (used to happen to me once, so I could not 'blame' her).

If you do finish in her, what's her response like?

If it's only (or mainly) the fear of pregnancy, then you've got to be sensitive. This can be a major fun-spoiler during sex... (On the other hand, premature withdrawal is not entirely safe and could still make her pregnant, but she might not be in the mood to discuss/believe that.)


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

No oral, and sex with condoms only. 
Reminds me of 9th, no maybe it was 10th grade.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Starstarfish said:


> If she's on high blood pressure meds how is her doctor continuing to put her on the pill given it's risk of indeed, increasing blood pressure and blood clotting? That seems like a really dangerous combination, myself.
> 
> You wife has expressed one legitimate problem, OP, regardless of everyone else's bravado about how they'd handle that (including apparently the comment that real men don't ask for consent in sex acts, that doesn't scream entitlement or anything.) *If she has said she is concerned about pregnancy - how are you handling this concern? *
> 
> ...


^ This is spot on. 

The birth control pill and high blood pressure is not a good combination at all, even with daily aspirin. It's dangerous. I would be talking to her about other birth control options that will better be able to keep your wife healthy and would work better for both of you. 

If you are done having kids, why not look into more permanent options. Can you talk to her about getting a vasectomy? It is the least invasive, has the least complications, and has the quickest recovery. That can help her health, ease her fears, and make sex more enjoyable for both of you.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

I really, Really, REALLY want to say "pull out and *** in her *****".

But, I won't.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Any woman who would reject my seed is rejecting me. 

....dammit to hell...


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## ToothFairy (May 19, 2013)

Most women prefer condoms? 

ummm... not true. I am a woman and despise condoms. The difference perhaps is that I actually like sex and everything that cums with it. Yes, pun intended..


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

For any advocating the use of condoms imagine this. Think of the most luxurious, thick yet soft and gentle field of grass you can imagine. Now contemplate your bare feet slowly sinking into the soft cool grass. The feeling of each blade gently caressing and tickling your skin as they slip in between your toes and wrap around your foot. Now close your eyes and think of that for a moment...











Now try it with socks on.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

It's like eating steak with a balloon over your tongue.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Bugged said:


> If he has problems with girl juice he wouldn't even start would he?So no problem :grin2:
> Unless I'm not getting what yuo mean with _girl juice_...
> :nerd:


Nice try but you didn't answer the question.

Shall I ask again?

Girl juice meaning vaginal lubrication secretions. Girl juice is shorter to write.

You also stated something to the effect of why should he get his way and that he should respect her request. So switch the genders around, why should she get her way and why won't she respect his feelings?

Relationships REQUIRE give and take, compromise and negotiation. Sometimes it comes down to negotiating the lesser of two evils.

You and your fiancé don't have oral sex? Are you sure your actually cut out to have relationships?


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Condoms don't feel that great, but they do help prevent pregnancy with no medical side effects. My husband and I used condoms all the time, since I can't use any hormones. It's not the best, but much better than a surprise pregnancy. She's afraid of getting pregnant and yet he doesn't do anything other than let her use the birth control pill, which is dangerous for her. I would think he would want to protect his wife, but I don't know.


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## Pablodiablo (Jun 12, 2015)

Just fill her up. Then keep doing her. Girls love getting pounded when they already have a load in them. They LOVE it! After you put a second load in her you immediately go down on her to clean her up. Girls love that even more. Finish it off with a sloppy kiss and call it a love story.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Pablodiablo said:


> Just fill her up. Then keep doing her. Girls love getting pounded when they already have a load in them. They LOVE it! After you put a second load in her you immediately go down on her to clean her up. Girls love that even more. Finish it off with a sloppy kiss and call it a love story.




Ugh, when does school start in your area?

Does your mom know you're online this late?


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## Pablodiablo (Jun 12, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> Pablodiablo said:
> 
> 
> > Just fill her up. Then keep doing her. Girls love getting pounded when they already have a load in them. They LOVE it! After you put a second load in her you immediately go down on her to clean her up. Girls love that even more. Finish it off with a sloppy kiss and call it a love story.
> ...


Joke's on you sucka............it's summer vacation fool!!!
Seriously though, lighten up. I was trying to add some levity esse. Maybe give the OP a different perspective on jizz.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

tornado said:


> No oral, and sex with condoms only.
> Reminds me of 9th, no maybe it was 10th grade.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm hoping the school years are very different where you live otherwise you are talking about 9 and 10 year olds having sex.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Kid's don't start school when they are born ... so in what country is 9th grade = 9 years old?

Is this seriously where we are at? That if as a woman you don't do exactly a prescribed list of things you "don't deserve to be in a relationship" and "need to grow up" and then all of the imagery about what condoms feel like. Why in the modern era is birth control still seen be an exclusively female issue to address? That fact that other women are subscribing to that theory is even more disturbing. 

Is the reduction of "feet in grass" versus "wearing socks" worth ... years of undue stress, financial pressure, and possibly little if no sex following a surprise pregnancy? Is that somehow worse than giving birth? It just seems to follow this mentality that heterosexual sex is purely and totally about the glory and power of male orgasm. 

Why is wanting someone else to suffer for your gain somehow okay if the person to gain is male? You don't want women to have "starfish duty sex" but then the attitude is basically "take it whether you want it or not, otherwise you are immature, selfish, and don't deserve to be loved." If that doesn't scream rape culture, I don't know what does.


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## Fitgirl (Jul 30, 2015)

Just explain to her how good it feels. (I feel sorry for you that she won't let you) There are plenty of women out there that love letting their man do that because they know it makes them feel good. Really talk to her and Let her know that you're unhappy being unable to finish. 
Or Just finish somewhere else?? Best of luck to you.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It would appear to me that your W's concern is that she doesn't want to become pregnant. Rather than resenting the fact that she's trying to protect herself from doing so (by not wanting you to ejaculate inside her), why not visit a gynaecologist together and discuss a safe and effective form of birth control?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> Yah, we all do stuff we're not that crazy about for the sake of bonding and the love/sex act in it's entirety.
> 
> my wife wants me to lay on top of her and stay in her for 5-10 minutes after we consumate the act. I'm not crazy about that. never have been. a bit uncomfortable. but you what what? she loves it and insists. So I do it for her. we do stuff for those we love and put up with some inconvenience.
> 
> I like the comment from the above poster who said 'if you don't really like the sex act why are you married?' or something to that effect.


You need to remain coupled and then roll over so that she is on top. That way she gets to feel you inside of her after you're finished, and you get to lay back and relax! #inforthewin!


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

It could also be what semen represents. A chance of pregnancy. She may have anxiety of being pregnant and because of that, she may have develop strong negative emotions against semen.

Talk to a professional to help you find the cause.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Bugged said:


> depends..if it has rained and it's muddy..i'd rather wear shoes...


Not what I asked you too imagine. If you change the parameters at random then you can manipulate any situation.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Bugged said:


> We don't give too much importance to sex and sexual acts or _details _of sex acts ...


If you're going to post on a Sex in Marriage thread, perhaps you could put the above at the top of every post you make as a disclaimer.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Starstarfish said:


> Kid's don't start school when they are born ... so in what country is 9th grade = 9 years old?
> 
> Is this seriously where we are at?* That if as a woman you don't do exactly a prescribed list of things you "don't deserve to be in a relationship" and "need to grow up"* and then all of the imagery about what condoms feel like. Why in the modern era is birth control still seen be an exclusively female issue to address? That fact that other women are subscribing to that theory is even more disturbing.


Agree on bolded. There's no magic list of things that qualify you for a relationship. You just need to find someone compatible.



Starstarfish said:


> Is the reduction of "feet in grass" versus "wearing socks" worth ... years of undue stress, financial pressure, and possibly little if no sex following a surprise pregnancy? Is that somehow worse than giving birth? It just seems to follow this mentality that heterosexual sex is purely and totally about the glory and power of male orgasm.
> 
> Why is wanting someone else to suffer for your gain somehow okay if the person to gain is male? You don't want women to have "starfish duty sex" but then the attitude is basically "take it whether you want it or not, otherwise you are immature, selfish, and don't deserve to be loved." If that doesn't scream rape culture, I don't know what does.


Preference for not wearing a condom does not equal rape culture. Not sure where you're making that leap. Sorry, condoms don't feel good. They definitely are effective, but they're not the only option. Vasectomy would be the logical option imo.


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

Buddy400 said:


> Bugged said:
> 
> 
> > We don't give too much importance to sex and sexual acts or _details _of sex acts ...
> ...


Disagree about bugged. She is ld and her so is ld. What's wrong with her offering an opinion from that perspective? A lot of you complain about a ld/HD mismatch. That you can't understand an ld. She's explaining that viewpoint.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

SARAHMCD said:


> Disagree about bugged. She is ld and her so is ld. What's wrong with her offering an opinion from that perspective? A lot of you complain about a ld/HD mismatch. That you can't understand an ld. She's explaining that viewpoint.


Absolutely nothing wrong with offering her opinion.

But, if I were to comment on a cooking thread, it would be helpful to know that the only things I cook are Minute Rice, Kraft Dinner and toast and actually have no interest in cooking.

I could make comments like "why go to all the trouble to make that recipe when you could just go to McDonalds?".


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## Pablodiablo (Jun 12, 2015)

So what if years into this marriage, after already establishing a sexual norm, this guy decides he wants to change the rules? Now he decides he doesn't like her secretions anymore and only wants to put it in her butt. You guys would shred this dude.

You can't just change the rules in the middle of the game. The completion is what sex and love and relationships is all about. It's primal. There's a feeling of rejection on a molecular level for this guy whether he realizes that's what it is or not. At the same time I think it's a douche bag move to complain about the feel of condoms yet expect the female to use a hormonal bc instead. I guess headaches, blood clots (inside the body), cysts, cancers, cramps and all the other lovely effects of hormonal pills don't just prevent pregnancy they can even help to prevent sex. 

It should be a given, if you are a man and you aren't making babies you are wearing a condom. Entitled douche bags are such a huge contributed to std's, unwanted pregnancies, foster kids, criminals, etc. Wear a ****ing condom. Don't be so embarrassed that it's baggy on you. Just wear it. It's your job.

If it's too much get a vasectomy. Then you can indescriminately deposit anywhere you'd like (seriously though, it's awesome, so glad I did it). Afterwards you need to have your counts checked. That's kind of cool too. Whenever you get the urge you can just run over to the urologists office and rub one out. How awesome is that. Just be careful. Apparently having you count checked once a week is excessive. But that nurse is sooooo hot! Oh well.


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

Buddy400 said:


> Absolutely nothing wrong with offering her opinion.
> 
> But, if I were to comment on a cooking thread, it would be helpful to know that the only things I cook are Minute Rice, Kraft Dinner and toast and actually have no interest in cooking.
> 
> I could make comments like "why go to all the trouble to make that recipe when you could just go to McDonalds?".


Yes, this is a sex thread. She has sex. She may be able to share the opinion of the OPs wife (who he's trying to understand) to help him understand where she's coming from. Just because she doesn't share your view point or the OPs, does not mean she has no right to comment.


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## unblinded (May 27, 2015)

Pablodiablo said:


> Just fill her up. Then keep doing her. Girls love getting pounded when they already have a load in them. They LOVE it! After you put a second load in her you immediately go down on her to clean her up. Girls love that even more. Finish it off with a sloppy kiss and call it a love story.


Good god...


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Buddy400 said:


> *Absolutely nothing wrong with offering her opinion.
> *


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## Monarch (Dec 5, 2012)

intheory said:


> If this is because of a fear of pregnancy; and you have children - why not get a vasectomy?


I am inclined to believe there is more to this than fear of pregnancy. I would guess the "icky" feeling is closer to the truth, and may reflect deeper issues, but the pregnancy thing is easier to say to a partner of many years. Would be a shame if he got a vasectomy, nothing changed, and then he wanted kids in the future (I know there are options there but my point is just that I don't think "medical procedure" is the fix in this situation).

I would be more inclined to believe the pregnancy thing if it were the only reason brought up and it was clear sex was being very much enjoyed otherwise, but "it feels icky" translates to something else in my mind.

I'm sure it is very frustrating to OP and I do believe that if she is going to change the rules like that in the middle of a very long term committed relationship, she should be willing to talk about this in couples therapy and get the truth out.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

hailmarduk said:


> Okay so i am new hear i have been *married for 16 years* with 1 son. For the last 9 years my wife has not let me finish in her and i really miss doing it of course i respect her i just need help in talking to her about letting me do this again. She is on birth controll pill and high blood pressure meds.
> 
> Many years ago *she would let me finish in her with no problem but* now she says *she does not like the feeling,* like I said if anyone can offer advice man or woman i would greatly appreciate it.


 @Bugged, you have evaded the question twice now and I would like you to answer it because it goes to having a sense of empathy. 

How would YOU feel if your SO stopped touching you right when you were about to orgasm because your body did something that he found icky?


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
I find this line of thinking to be unreasonable. Your wife indicates that your ejaculate is "icky". How "icky" is the feeling of passing the discarded remnants of the formally receptive uterine walls, blood and mucous as they are sloughed off each month and yet she endures that. It is also troubling that she discounts entirely your feelings regarding this.

There are other underlying issues here besides a temporary feeling that is easily remedied. You might be well advised to ask her what the real problem is. If she is desperately concerned about pregnancy, which I understand, then there are alternatives that can offer at least some compromise that do not involve surgery or drugs. Perhaps a compromise can be reached wherein prophylactics and rhythm can be used alternatively providing protection during the times of risk and allowing you to have the feeling you desire at other times. This can be further secured by the use of an IUD although this can intensify the menstrual flow. It seems unreasonable to me to expect you to completely do without something that has significance to you when there are other alternatives especially considering that she "allowed it" in the beginning.

The act of coitus is a natural human activity that has been occurring since the inception of mankind and to find that "icky" to me indicates an unnatural condition. Perhaps it is physical or perhaps psychological but there is something else at the root of this.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

I wonder what the temp of the marriage is. Are you getting "duty" sex? Is she affectionate? Reading about so many long term affairs, makes me wonder if she is being loyal to someone else? I hope that is not the case. But her not letting you cum in her or no oral sex, is a symptom of something. I doubt it's fear of pregnancy or "ickyness."


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> How "icky" is the feeling of passing the discarded remnants of the formally receptive uterine walls, blood and mucous as they are sloughed off each month and yet she endures that.


Have we found a solution around that yet that doesn't involve hormone therapy with a lot of potentially nasty side effects or cutting out body parts? Oh wait, or being pregnant. 

I just find the random "put women have periods" comment so random here. 

I know I personally find oozing out my insides slowly over multiple days, particularly in the summer when you are already hot and uncomfortable an amazing feeling. I feel like everyone should get in on that as soon as possible.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Bugged said:


> Ok. let me test it with this post...>
> 
> edit: @Buddy400 is it ok like this?


That's weird. This is the first time that anything I've ever typed on the Internet affected any change in anyone.

Now that I've achieved my dream, I feel kinda guilty:smile2:


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

The "ick" factor associated with semen is not just a woman thing. 

For 16 days a month (including periods) my H has the option of finishing inside but he'll only do so when he's on top. Why? Because he absolutely hates it when his stuff oozes out of me and back onto him. 

Have I contributed to his "ick" factor by purposefully pushing the semen out of me onto his stomach? Sure, but it's only because I wanted to share with him all of the wonderful benefits of semen....you know, all of the ones guys typically tell women so they'll worship his manhood >


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

My wife is someone that gets worked up over icky things, but I've always ended up finishing in her. Seems kind of weird to me that your spouse won't let it happen


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## MarriedToTheOne (Apr 22, 2015)

Personal said:


> I guess the one who worshiped Marduk has left the building?



Do you blame him?

This thread went south a long time ago.


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## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

Sorry, you had to deal with immature responses from little boys


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Bugged said:


> I 'd try to understand and not make a huge problem out of it...I honestly think sex shouldn't be such a big deal..I don't orgasm often..should I build a mountain of resentment towards my partner for that?
> I mean..I know we'll never agree on this..because to me sex is just sex..if otherwise some think it is a way to build a connection..I don't think that pulling out or wearing a condom should be such a big issue...:nerd:


I believe you. To you, sex and orgasming don't seem to carry much emotion attached. You don't really care too much about orgasming and as such you don't really care too much about sex. So to you, the feeling of being rejected and or interrupted is quite foreign and makes no sense. 

But to others, the feelings associated with sex and orgasming are deeply personal and profound. Those people will require partners who will either respect the depth and breadth of feelings associated with sex or ideally share those same feelings.

Where as you require a partner who will respect that you do not and cannot produce profound feelings attached to sex.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> Those people will require partners who will either respect the depth and breadth of feelings associated with sex or ideally share those same feelings.


There seems to be a lot of extrapolation that the OP feels this depth breadth about sex that you do Anon, and that his wife doesn't. I mean, there's a lot of assumptions about this women given the extremely limited amount of information about her we are given. That she doesn't value sex, that she doesn't deserve to be in a relationship, etc, etc. 

That's just a bit much. 

Also, PS - someone can care about the emotional aspect of sex but not place a lot of attachment to orgasming, honestly. Again, a lot of extrapolation.

OP is basically long gone. All we can do is a beat a dead horse at this point.


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

Holland said:


> I'm hoping the school years are very different where you live otherwise you are talking about 9 and 10 year olds having sex.


In the States , a 9th or 10th grader is around 15 or 16 years old


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

I didn't read all the post but to the OP I'm having the same issue in my marriage. I also have a thread on this. 

I can't finish in her, she can't touch my penis after it was in her. So overall I finish myself off. Pretty much sucks. She has a phobia when it comes to sex fluids. 

We have been going to therapy for the last month until last week when we got the bills from the appointments and our insurance wouldn't cover. Now she thinks everything is great when it's not.

Good luck


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Personal said:


> I guess the one who worshiped Marduk has left the building?


Ha! You learn something everyday! I was going to post something "juvenile", but when I looked up marduk on youtube I see that they are a metal band. Dude must have been a metal freak.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bTbmgAp_8o


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