# Deployed and insecure...



## ArmyWife14 (Feb 5, 2011)

My husband and I have been married for 7 months now... he has been deployed just as long. (But not in a 'danger' zone, but to the middle east) 

At the beginning of deployment he wanted a divorce. He just didnt want to be with me anymore. I was devastated. But let me start from the beginning...

I promised him when he left I would get his truck into storage. Without a licence and being so far from post this was hard. I called the post and asked him what I should do, they told me it was impounded. I was put in contact with an officer who asked me how I was going to get it out, I told him I didn't have any money, that was my first and biggest mistake. Apparently they are required to send home money... and are punished and they are told they aren't 'good husbands' if they don't. This happened to more than just my husband. 

From there he saw me as a money grubbing witch (with a b). Thought that I just wanted everything from him. Which was as far from the truth as possible. 

We fought for several weeks, he wanted a divorce... I didn't. Finally, I gave in and told him that if he wanted one I'd give it to him and I stopped talking to him. In the end he ended up coming back to me. During the time we were fighting he was talking to a girl, he called it flirting... I read several e-mails from a few different girls and when I called him out on it, he called me not such nice names.

Whatever it was it didn't make me feel good when he told me.... that's when his trust issues started. 

He at first thought I was messing around with a friend of mine that I've known for a decade, never happened. 
I suppose he had these thoughts for some time but kept them under wraps... 
He has a very short temper which I blame on his depression from being deployed. He gets angry with misunderstandings and such and his mood will ruin days and weeks of our time. 

I recently moved closer to his post and I have never lived on my own before. My sleeping habits have changed and I guess this triggers thoughts in his head. He openly admitted that he thought I was cheating because of these habits. 

He also admitted today that he still thinks that when we were fighting I was after his money... 

I'd rather him leave me and call me a worthless human being than to do this to me. 

I don't know where to go from here or what to think. 
All I know is before he left he wasn't this man. 

I want my hero back.


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## coldasteel (Feb 6, 2011)

Army men do not make enough money to make us army wives gold diggers. lmao. I'm sorry honey. Maybe it's just the deployment making it tough on him. I wouldn't make any moves until he is back home until then try to work it out as best as you can.


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## Tru2mself (Sep 3, 2010)

You know the first thing that comes to mind is that He is the gold digger actually,he married you for BAH and that extra separation pay that he gets while he is deployed , what ? I have heard guys do that in the military all the time ... sorry you are stuck with his ass ,better go get the papers written out so he can sign first thing when on leave .


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## ArmyWife14 (Feb 5, 2011)

Tru2mself said:


> You know the first thing that comes to mind is that He is the gold digger actually,he married you for BAH and that extra separation pay that he gets while he is deployed , what ? I have heard guys do that in the military all the time ... sorry you are stuck with his ass ,better go get the papers written out so he can sign first thing when on leave .


Yup, because he sends me his ENTIRE paycheck that must be true. 


E- 
I don't have a drivers licence so it's hard for me to get around like that but I am working on it!! 


Homemaker- 
Thank you. He has his up and his downs but I have been sticking though it for 7 months now and I am just holding on as tight as I can.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Get yr drivers license. Get a job.

Not yr fault his truck was impounded.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ArmyWife14 (Feb 5, 2011)

michzz said:


> Get yr drivers license. Get a job.
> 
> Not yr fault his truck was impounded.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Like I said, I'm working on it. I just moved from a place where I could take a bus anywhere to the middle of no where and I am still getting my home settled down. 

No one ever said it was my fault...


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If the military won't help you, go to United Way and find your local office, and ask them to help you. They'll help you with your drivers license, a job, working things out with the military, legal matters, counseling, anything you need.


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