# Is my husband abusing marijuana?



## concerned_wife

Hello, 

I would like to get your opinion on whether you think my husband is abusing marijuana. Here are the facts:

1. He was initially lying to me about his marijuana use. We have been in therapy and through therapy he has come clean to say that he says he smokes it about 2 times per week.

2. I have noticed that he become very irritable every now and then. For example, I know he smoked 4 days ago and he is irritable today. Another time it was the same pattern from when I KNEW he smoked.

Initially I just attributed to a 'bad mood' but lately I am wondering if he is exhibiting withdrawal symptoms? Other signs/symptoms he as include: dark circles under eyes, he sleeps alot, he seems to lack motivation, he has diarrhea, he complains of stomach aches. 

3. Talking to him about marijuana is very difficult. He becomes very defense. He tells me that the problem is mine and not his. He says that we have different values when it comes to this topic. He does not think he smokes too much...even though I tell him it hurts me when he does this and it prevents me from getting close to him.

Your thoughts will be most appreciated.

Thanks.


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## MrsOldNews

2 times a week? As long as it doesn't get in the way of his job/aspirations and such it's much better for you than alcohol 2 times a week which many people partake in.


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## concerned_wife

Well he doesnt have a job right now. 
He sleeps very late (3-4 am) and gets up at 12-1 pm...does I do not know what while I am working, and then goes out to play pool all night long. repeat the cycle.

And it does get in the way...of US.

He also drinks alcohol....but this is not the issue.


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## MrsOldNews

Sounds like he might be depressed. Depression and pot are not a good mix. Makes for a useless person in my opinion.


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## nolongernewwifey

Well, I don't want you to get defensive or get offended, but have you ever tried it with him. Like just the two of you one night. Tell him to stay home with you and the two of you just smoke a little? I know it has been one thing that hasn't torn me and my husband apart. When we met we were both smoking, but hiding it from eachother. When we we did it together, it brought a closeness. He always tells me, I don't want to be with anyone else because anyone else would make me stop, and its just part of who he is at this point. Maybe if you tried to take a night and do it with him, maybe then he would rather stay home a few more nights and just do a little more with you. 

I myself do regularly smoke and i can't tell you rom experience, being irratible is not a withdrawal symptom. He's probably just as stressed about your situation and and his easiest way to deal with you two not being as close as you once were is to go to a calm and relaxing place. 

Again, I am not trying to offend you or cause any hate issues, I am just saying this from another stand point. 
I hope things get better for you.... I too am having issues with the hubby, but always remember that there is something in that person you chose to marry that you love... all you both need to do is find that part and bring it out.


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## Almostrecovered

Twice a week is far from abuse or addiction, he hides it since you don't approve. That is the bigger issue- his willingness to lie


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## Gratitude

I have lived with pot addicts for a long time and they smoked morning, noon and night. I also smoked myself for a good many years long ago. So no, I would not say he is an addict. Pot can cause stomach problems in heavy users and as said above if he is depressed, pot will not be helping.

You do not need to start smoking pot as stated above and smoke with him. And yes marijuana smoking can absolutely lead to irritability if none is available like all addicts, but this is more for very heavy users.

If he sleeps all day, goes out all night til 3am ... then the issue is more than likely him. The pot/alcohol are things that he does but it's not WHY he does them. He may be depressed. He may be lazy. I really don't know without much more information to go on.


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## nolongernewwifey

I didn't say she had to. 
I simply asked if she tried it. 
Re-read that next time.


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## Gratitude

nolongernewwifey said:


> Tell him to stay home with you and the two of you just smoke a little? Maybe if you tried to take a night and do it with him, maybe then he would rather stay home a few more nights and just do a little more with you.


This is encouraging her to smoke with him. Not asking her if she has tried it.


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## nolongernewwifey

nolongernewwifey said:


> Well, I don't want you to get defensive or get offended, but have you ever tried it with him. Like just the two of you one night.


I do believe that is asking her if she has tried it or is wiling to try it....


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## Gratitude

nolongernewwifey said:


> I do believe that is asking her if she has tried it or is wiling to try it....


Why does she need to be willing to try it? Because he smokes pot she should, so he will stay home with her? Should she also start drinking, stop working and play pool til 3am?

I'm sure he can do something for her and the relationship to make it work too. Sharing interests is one thing. Encouraging smoking pot with him to keep him at home is another. I understand that you smoke and that's fine. But she doesn't, and she certainly doesn't need to start just to suit her husband. I think their problems go way beyond him smoking a few times a week.


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## nolongernewwifey

And that's why its YOUR opinion and I have mine.... she didn't make it sound like it was a huge thing that was deeper, it sounds like she's mad because he chooses to live his life one way and hers another... but like I said, something brought them together, and MAYBE this could help them find it again... never said to make it regular.., just that she could try it and see if there is a difference, but its her decision if she wants to try it with him one.


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## concerned_wife

I am not mad....really. 
I am more upset that he is choosing to do this...and it feels as though he is using it to cover up for deeper issues. He/we are going through therapy for some very serious things that have happened to him and I feel as though he is self-medicating and I was wondering if it is a 'problem' use of a substance.

I will not try it with him. Sorry.
I am a health nut....which is why I am sad to hear him doing this...I just want my husband to be healthy because I want to spend many, many years with him.

So, I really was asking from the point of view of a 'concerned wife'.

Thanks for replying.


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## tacoma

concerned_wife said:


> Hello,
> 
> I would like to get your opinion on whether you think my husband is abusing marijuana. Here are the facts:
> 
> 1. He was initially lying to me about his marijuana use. We have been in therapy and through therapy he has come clean to say that he says he smokes it about 2 times per week.
> 
> 2. I have noticed that he become very irritable every now and then. For example, I know he smoked 4 days ago and he is irritable today. Another time it was the same pattern from when I KNEW he smoked.
> 
> Initially I just attributed to a 'bad mood' but lately I am wondering if he is exhibiting withdrawal symptoms? Other signs/symptoms he as include: dark circles under eyes, he sleeps alot, he seems to lack motivation, he has diarrhea, he complains of stomach aches.
> 
> 3. Talking to him about marijuana is very difficult. He becomes very defense. He tells me that the problem is mine and not his. He says that we have different values when it comes to this topic. He does not think he smokes too much...even though I tell him it hurts me when he does this and it prevents me from getting close to him.
> 
> Your thoughts will be most appreciated.
> 
> Thanks.


Physical withdrawal symptoms from marijuana use simply do not exist to any real extent.

Smoking twice a week is most definitely not a pot head.

I think you`re going to start pissing him off for going overboard about his pot use.

If you don`t like pot you shouldn`t marry a guy who smokes pot.
Much smarter than marrying a guy who likes pot and "forcing him to stop".

He ain`t gonna and if he does there`ll be some resentment.


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## concerned_wife

tacoma said:


> Physical withdrawal symptoms from marijuana use simply do not exist to any real extent.
> 
> Smoking twice a week is most definitely not a pot head.
> 
> I think you`re going to start pissing him off for going overboard about his pot use.
> 
> If you don`t like pot you shouldn`t marry a guy who smokes pot.
> Much smarter than marrying a guy who likes pot and "forcing him to stop".
> 
> He ain`t gonna and if he does there`ll be some resentment.


Thanks for your opinion re: problem use or not.
I did not know he did this before we got married.


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## Gratitude

concerned_wife said:


> I am not mad....really.
> I am more upset that he is choosing to do this...and it feels as though he is using it to cover up for deeper issues. He/we are going through therapy for some very serious things that have happened to him and I feel as though he is self-medicating and I was wondering if it is a 'problem' use of a substance.
> 
> I will not try it with him. Sorry.
> I am a health nut....which is why I am sad to hear him doing this...I just want my husband to be healthy because I want to spend many, many years with him.
> 
> So, I really was asking from the point of view of a 'concerned wife'.
> 
> Thanks for replying.


He can stop smoking if he wants to. He might not want to. It has to come from a decision that he's made for himself.

I'd say the smoking pot, going out late every night, drinking and sleeping all day tie in together. Does he not work? If he has issues it's great that he's working on them.

I would suggest that you need to start laying down your own boundaries too. Going out every night? That would be unacceptable to me. The pot a couple of times a week - I wouldn't focus on that right now. It's probably not that he has a substance addicition, more like he is using the substances to get through. If he's out til 3am every night you don't really know what he does. It could be anything.

I hope you can both sit down and work on your marriage too while he is working on himself. You're allowed to say what you want too.


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## Humble Pie

concerned_wife said:


> Hello,
> 
> I would like to get your opinion on whether you think my husband is abusing marijuana. Here are the facts:
> 
> 1. He was initially lying to me about his marijuana use. We have been in therapy and through therapy he has come clean to say that he says he smokes it about 2 times per week.
> 
> 2. I have noticed that he become very irritable every now and then. For example, I know he smoked 4 days ago and he is irritable today. Another time it was the same pattern from when I KNEW he smoked.
> 
> Initially I just attributed to a 'bad mood' but lately I am wondering if he is exhibiting withdrawal symptoms? Other signs/symptoms he as include: dark circles under eyes, he sleeps alot, he seems to lack motivation, he has diarrhea, he complains of stomach aches.
> 
> 3. Talking to him about marijuana is very difficult. He becomes very defense. He tells me that the problem is mine and not his. He says that we have different values when it comes to this topic. He does not think he smokes too much...even though I tell him it hurts me when he does this and it prevents me from getting close to him.
> 
> Your thoughts will be most appreciated.
> 
> Thanks.


If those are the facts, he is not addicted to marijuana. I think it is a case of communication (lack of) on the part of both of you.

I would say he enjoys marijuana, and you are totally opposite. That is the only problem.


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## Humble Pie

concerned_wife said:


> I am not mad....really.
> I am more upset that he is choosing to do this...and it feels as though he is using it to cover up for deeper issues. He/we are going through therapy for some very serious things that have happened to him and I feel as though he is self-medicating and I was wondering if it is a 'problem' use of a substance.
> 
> I will not try it with him. Sorry.
> I am a health nut....which is why I am sad to hear him doing this...I just want my husband to be healthy because I want to spend many, many years with him.
> 
> So, I really was asking from the point of view of a 'concerned wife'.
> 
> Thanks for replying.


Marijuana does help "not feel" anything. You say you guys have gone to couseling for "some serious issues"... maybe he is using to aviod thinking/feeling about those issue, maybe those issue really are affecting him deeply... as you mention and are well aware of.


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## Cherry

I'm curious as to why you are dismissing alcohol as the problem. Have you educated yourself about marijuana, pros and cons? There are some really interesting articles on it. I was against marijuana for 35 years of my life, I was the generation of "one joint has the same effect as one pack a day cigarette use on your lungs". Come to find out it has no effect on your lungs. 

http://www.webmd.com/lung-cancer/news/20060523/pot-smoking-not-linked-to-lung-cancer

That said, it certainly is a personal choice to not have your spouse use drugs, and if your H did not use pot prior to your marriage, it is fair for you to not want him to do it. But to answer you questions, your H's behavior sounds more like depression and not any abuse of pot.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## concerned_wife

Cherry said:


> I'm curious as to why you are dismissing alcohol as the problem. Have you educated yourself about marijuana, pros and cons? There are some really interesting articles on it. I was against marijuana for 35 years of my life, I was the generation of "one joint has the same effect as one pack a day cigarette use on your lungs". Come to find out it has no effect on your lungs.
> 
> Pot Smoking Not Linked to Lung Cancer
> 
> That said, it certainly is a personal choice to not have your spouse use drugs, and if your H did not use pot prior to your marriage, it is fair for you to not want him to do it. But to answer you questions, your H's behavior sounds more like depression and not any abuse of pot.
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks for all your answers. This is the opinion of the therapist as well. That he suffers from moments of depression and uses this to self-medicate. Anyhow, it is a work in progress as we trudge through some pretty difficult feelings that he has buried for years. 

Thanks again.


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## concerned_wife

Humble Pie said:


> Marijuana does help "not feel" anything. You say you guys have gone to couseling for "some serious issues"... maybe he is using to aviod thinking/feeling about those issue, maybe those issue really are affecting him deeply... as you mention and are well aware of.


Over the past few weeks it has become clear that you are likely correct. This situation is less likely about marijuana per se than it is about underlying feelings.

Thanks for your reply.


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## brokenbloke

concerned wife, I gtg now, but I'll respond in detail this evening. I have alot to say as your situation is VERY similar to mine...


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## brokenbloke

Ok, first of all, I do not know the finer details of your marriage, yourself, or your husband, so I can't assume to say I KNOW this or that about your situation. But based on what you've shared, here's what I think:

First of all, the situation you describe was very similar to my own. I married my wife (obviously) with a bit of a substance-abuse issue. It wasn't over the top, but it was there and came eventually to greatly affect our marriage negatively. At first our marriage was great. We were happy, doing well, and besides some of the usual crap, we were doing well. Well after a year and a half I got layed off my work and we found ourselves in a similar situation to your's. My W worked F/T while I had all the time in the world on my hands. I developed an unhealthy lifestyle not dissimilar to your H's. I would go to bed around 3/4 am most nights, wake up at noon, bum around during the afternoon (some errands/chores etc, watch movies, whatever), have dinner with my wife when she got home, and then usually go out with the buds in the evening. For me, growing up, I had always had a predilection towards pot. I would smoke fairly regularly (several times a week), but because I alternatively lived on my own or was in school F/T I had enough "distractions" to keep my habit in check. This all changed when I was layed off and found I had all day, every day to basically bum around. Quite quickly my weed habit accelerated. It took about a month or so to become a daily smoker, usually a couple to a few joints a day. I developed into living the pothead lifestyle. I'll skip the finer details, as there were variances over that time, but this lifestyle more or less existed for around a year and half in total (and continued even after I returned back to work during that year and half period). Now, after about six months of this lifestyle my wife was starting to feel neglected (she was) and becoming hurt. I was a s*** husband. I wasn't working either at all or, when I was, less than her. I wouldn't do nearly as much as the house chores, and, most importantly, I neglected her emotionally. I wasn't there for her, wasn’t focusing on her, wasn’t hanging out with her, wasn’t planning dates with her etc etc. and when I was, often I was high/tired/apathetic etc and not in a state to be "there" fully. It wasn't a good thing at all but at the time I was too far into the fog to realize all this.

Anyways, so after around 6 months my wife started communicating to me that something was wrong, she was feeling distant est, and fastforward a year after that point (so 1.5 years of me living a pothead lifestyle) our marriage was essentially dead, or at least on life support. I know this was almost entirely my fault, and for myself, I know much of it (not all) was because I was too far down the weed hole to be much a decent husband, although I cannot, do not, just chalk it all up to weed. But I know much of it, the foundation of it all, was my inability to control my weed habit. And it nearly destroyed our marriage. For us the outcome was this: After a year and a half of being a pothead, s*** husband, my wife had drown distant from me. Well while I was off getting high, hanging with the boys constantly etc., along came a man from her work who paid attention to her. 9 months after their meeting (and 1.5 years after me starting my pothead lifestyle) my wife confessed to me she had an EA with this dude (with some aspects of a PA). I was devastated, she was ashamed and sorry, but also she felt devastated from my neglect, as I also came to understand, and feel shame and sorry, for my neglecting her. It wasn’t pretty. My point in telling all this is that a weed addiction can trigger a series of events that greatly damage a relationship. Of course my abuse of weed and neglect of her doesn’t excuse her affair, and she owns that, but I KNOW that my abuse and neglect of her contributed to creating the situation where an A became more of an option for her. Anyways….

Now, looking at your list, I'll compare my situation/symptoms to yours:



> 1. He was initially lying to me about his marijuana use. We have been in therapy and through therapy he has come clean to say that he says he smokes it about 2 times per week.


As the pothead in our relationship I can say lying about use is a red-flag, but context is key. My best friend is a pothead but his partner couldn’t care less that he is. So he never lies. Me, my wife didn’t like it so I lied. It depends on what you feel is “acceptable” use vis-à-vis how much he does. If you feel 2 times a week is fine, but anything more is bad, then, well, he’ll readily admit twice a week but also readily lie if he is doing anything more. That he has already shown to lie about it is a red-flag, however, so not to sow mistrust, but I wouldn’t just take his word for it when he admits to twice a week.



> 2. I have noticed that he become very irritable every now and then. For example, I know he smoked 4 days ago and he is irritable today. Another time it was the same pattern from when I KNEW he smoked.
> 
> Initially I just attributed to a 'bad mood' but lately I am wondering if he is exhibiting withdrawal symptoms? Other signs/symptoms he as include: dark circles under eyes, he sleeps alot, he seems to lack motivation, he has diarrhea, he complains of stomach aches.


First, to dispel any myths, to those who say there are not withdrawal symptoms to smoking weed, you are dead wrong. A common line of reasoning with weed use is, “it’s not physically addicting.” That is simply not true. That being said, the physical symptoms are MUCH less than most other substances and, moreover, usually pale in comparison to the psychologically addictive aspects. Which bring me to the second common line of reasoning with weed use, which is, “it’s not physically addicting, only mentally,” with the implicit assumption being that it therefore is easy to quit. Well I’ve already discounted the myth that it’s not physically addicting, but hypothetically, even if we were to grant that it is only psychologically addicting, so what? Does that make it less addicting? Hell no. To me anything psychologically addicting is MORE difficult than being physically addicting. I can handle enduring symptoms that are similar to a weeklong fever much more readily than the mental torture of your brain telling you want to smoke etc. 

Anyways, concerning his symptoms, the irritability I wouldn’t worry about. Irritability (and depression) are withdrawal symptoms that occur when heavy-smokers quit outright. They will/can experience irritability, depression, insomnia, loss-of-appetite, night terrors, sweating, restlessness, and other symptoms for the week or two after quitting outright if they were a heavy smoker, but they won’t usually experience these in the days between joints. 
The sleep lots is one symptom that could be from weed (but as others mentioned, could just be from depression), but the other one you mention that is very common in potheads is stomach aches. When I got high I would get wicked munchies, eat a **** ton of food (usually unhealthy food), and feel like **** the next day. Stomach aches were common with me.



> 3. Talking to him about marijuana is very difficult. He becomes very defense. He tells me that the problem is mine and not his. He says that we have different values when it comes to this topic. He does not think he smokes too much...even though I tell him it hurts me when he does this and it prevents me from getting close to him.


This is difficult to gauge because on the one hand, he could be defensive because he actually is not smoking lots, or he could be because he is and doesn’t want you to intervene. My guess is this: It’s either A) he’s depressed and your focusing on the weed, if it’s not a problem for him, is causing his defensiveness. However, if he isn’t depressed, or all other things being equal, a person genuinely without a weed problem won’t get defensive. There is no need to. However, it could be B) he’s got a problem, knows it, and is trying to hide it/is in denial etc, and thus gets defensive. When I smoked too much I would get defensive, rationalize, obfuscate etc. 

So it depends on your H. He definitely has the characteristics of one who fits the profile of a pothead, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be so, as it could be from depression etc. But know this: for me, I lied about my use, minimizing it only a couple times a week. It took my wife MONTHS before she figured out what was really going on, and then it was too late. Our relationship essentially died and a year later I found myself trying (and repeatedly failing) to quit a substance I had become quite addicted to while also dealing with the pain of my wife having an A. So I wouldn’t just dismiss this now. I’m not suggesting don’t trust him at all etc; like I said I don’t know the personal details of your relationship. But know a pothead, if he is one, will lie about his use. Period.

Some important suggestions:

First: DON’T ENABLE!! This is huge. My W and I, looking back, realize this was a huge mistake. I was able to become a huge pothead exactly because my W was feeding me money while I had all the time in the world on my hands. Its why previously in my life I was able to keep my habit “in check.” When we got married and my W worked and I got laid off, it was the first time in my life I had both the time and money to let my potential for addiction manifest itself. Enabling is the worst thing you could possibly do. Now, of course you don’t know yet the extent of his use, or even if he is using more than twice a week. So I would just suggest this for now: Keep track of your finances and look for red flags. The biggest one is cash withdrawals. Drug dealers don’t take debit or credit, so if you’re seeing lots of cash withdrawals, red flag. Keep an eye on this and don’t be afraid to ask for explanation if you see consistent withdrawals. 

Second: IF you are feeling neglected by him, either because of his weed-use or otherwise, DON’T let it carry on for long. It can only end badly. I see you are getting counseling, so you’re probably already working on it, but I neglected my wife so much that she ended up in the arms, affection, and attention of another man. Presumably your H wouldn’t take that outcome easily. Looking back, I, myself, simply wish my wife had left me. Not divorce, but she should have separated from me. That would have helped me hit rock bottom earlier and woken me up to the reality of what I was doing. If you are feeling neglected, communicate it with him, and not passively, but he needs to understand the seriousness of it. It can end badly, and looking bad I would take anything, including a separation, than my wife having an A. (my neglect doesn’t justify the A of course, not implying that. I neglected her for a long period, she cheated on me; we both wronged eachother.)

If you are worried about the weed and want to learn more, a great resource is “The Secret Addiction.” It’s geared for those who have a weed addiction and find they cannot stop. It greatly helped me overcome my problem (I even tried NA a couple times but it wasn’t too useful. There is something unique about weed vis-à-vis the “hard drugs.” The book exactly addresses those aspects). Anyways, it might help you understand addiction better and, even better, if your H comes to a point where he wants to quit and is having trouble, it is a superb resource.
Good luck…any questions feel free. I hope you two the best.


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## hisfac

You don't really know how often he's smoking pot, it's probably a lot more than what he admits, therefore it's hard to answer your question other than to say there are problems here and they're related to his drug use, which is either a causal factor, an associated factor, or a result of whatever is going on inside his head that isn't working very well for him. 

Sounds like your therapist is spot on, there's depression there and he's smoking pot to self medicate however it might be making the problem worse not better.

To the poster that suggest you partake in this illegal drug in order to get closer to him? That's among the the worst advice I've read on this board or any other. Encouraging someone to use an illegal drug because their partner is.. especially given that the partner obviously has issues exacerbated by this drug.. it's just BAD.


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## concerned_wife

Thank you for your response BrokenBloke. I really appreciate the time you took to write it. There is certainly alot in there for me to digest. I will check out that book you recommend. I also hope your marriage is on better ground now.


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## concerned_wife

hisfac said:


> You don't really know how often he's smoking pot, it's probably a lot more than what he admits, therefore it's hard to answer your question other than to say there are problems here and they're related to his drug use, which is either a causal factor, an associated factor, or a result of whatever is going on inside his head that isn't working very well for him.
> 
> Sounds like your therapist is spot on, there's depression there and he's smoking pot to self medicate however it might be making the problem worse not better.
> 
> To the poster that suggest you partake in this illegal drug in order to get closer to him? That's among the the worst advice I've read on this board or any other. Encouraging someone to use an illegal drug because their partner is.. especially given that the partner obviously has issues exacerbated by this drug.. it's just BAD.


Hi Hisfac - I have NO intentions of taking part in this activity! So yah, I agree - not great advice; and certainly not relevant for me....but to each their own


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## sophiem

I don't think there is any issue with casual marijuana use, however the fact that he lied to you about it may be indicative of an important issue.

There is no such thing as marijuana addiction (physical addiction), though I suppose extremely chronic use could be problematic.

I certainly would concentrate more on his deception than use.


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## brokenbloke

sophiem said:


> There is no such thing as marijuana addiction (physical addiction), though I suppose extremely chronic use could be problematic.


This is blatantly false. This is a myth unfounded by the experience of any decent pothead. Also, there is an underlying assumptiong here that if a substance is not physically addicting then it isn't addicting at all, or not "really" addicting. What about psychological addiction? Nevermind the FACT that marijuana can be very physically addicting, the psychologically addicting aspect of it is EXTREMELY difficult to overcome. In my opinion and experience, for any substance really, the psychologically addicting aspect of it is much more difficult to overcome than any physically addicting aspect. Not to down play it's difficulty, but overcoming a physical addiction is similar to putting up with a very bad fever for awhile. Overcoming a psychological addiction is trying out argue a very clever and persistent lawyer in your head (yourself) telling and persuasively convincing you over and over again to pick up the pipe/joint/glass etc...It's brutal.

Pot is addicting, period. That doesn't mean you're hooked after the first, or even hundredth, joint. It depends on the person. Many people can drink a little, even alot, and not become an alcoholic. That doesn't mean alcohol is not addicting. Keep in mind as well that you weed we smoke today is 10X stronger than the weed our parents smoked, and the THC content of weed will increasingly become more potent as the science improves. And no, that does not mean many people therefore smoke less to get as high.

If my tone is a little impatient here it's because I was told these BS myths about weed growing up, as are most people. (Well there are two myths, each at opposite extremes: 1, weed is not physically, or otherwise, addicting. Its harmless, innocuous etc etc OR, 2, weed is the devil, gateway drug, will ruin your life, you will run over your child if high, become a terrorist etc etc. Fact is weed is unique and needs to be understood, ultimately, on its own terms). Anyways, I, and some of my peers, and many people today (look at the responses in the thread for many examples) are fed these misunderstandings and years later many of us are struggling, failing, and hopefully eventually succeeding in overcoming this sneaky little drug. More, PROPER, education is needed on this substance.


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## sophiem

Ok brokenbloke, aside from tone (which is cool, no problem) I don't disagree with what you've said. 

I'll revise my position and say that marijuana is no more addictive than sex, chocolate or really buttery popcorn. 

My intention was to make sure that we were not treating psychological addition as if it were physical addiction. The poster was worried about addiction, which most people equate with physically addictive substances such as cocaine and heroin.


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## Manas

Twice a week? Many people I know do it as much. Thats certainly not a pothead and its way better than alcohol (about which you dont seem to be concerned). Twice a week wont affect your health, its just a way to relax. It doesnt make you "not care about things", maybe it even makes you think more about stuff that matters to you. Like one poster said above you can even try it with him; if its not your thing dont. But there is no point trying to blame your relationship problems on this "twice a week" thing and trying to bulldoze your value system on to him. If you think your relationship will be even marginally better if he gives up pot altogether you are wrong IMHO. And damn I would be pissed off too if my wife makes a big deal about a twice a week smoke.


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## anallover

If a man smokes twice a week and doesnt go up in amount or frequency i would say your safe. My husband smoke and has since i met him. I do not prefer that he does but i have told him that all i ask is for honesty. I even smoke with him here and there. I dont believe there is anything wrong with actually smoking pot, but yes becareful bc if he is doing it out of depression then this can not be good. I know it might feel like you are married to a man with other commitments. I understand this. But maybe encourage him to sit and talk with you for a while before he goes and smokes. Dont feel pressure to smoke with him. save yourself from the feelings pot can give you.


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## tacoma

brokenbloke said:


> This is blatantly false. This is a myth unfounded by the experience of any decent pothead.


I am a decent pothead, have been for years.
I see no myth



> Also, there is an underlying assumptiong here that if a substance is not physically addicting then it isn't addicting at all, or not "really" addicting.


I`ve not seen this assumption promoted in this thread.



> What about psychological addiction?


I`ve known many many pot users who have toked as a way of self medicating so I agree there is indeed a psychological aspect to "addiction".
However lighting up twice a week doesn`t jibe with those I`ve known who are psychologically addicted.
Those users I`ve known are morning, noon, & night.



> Nevermind the FACT that marijuana can be very physically addicting, .....


Please cite some evidence for this claim.
In over 50 years of trying damn hard the FDA itself has come up empty handed looking for evidence of physical addiction from pot. 




> In my opinion and experience, for any substance really, the psychologically addicting aspect of it is much more difficult to overcome than any physically addicting aspect. Not to down play it's difficulty, but overcoming a physical addiction is similar to putting up with a very bad fever for awhile.


This statement shows you have no experience with physically addictive substances.
while a psychological addiction can be difficult it is nothing compared to the power a physical addiction holds over a users will.
Ask any lifetime smoker which was more difficult to overcome, the physical cravings or the mental triggers.
I already know the answer.



> If my tone is a little impatient here it's because I was told these BS myths about weed growing up, as are most people. (Well there are two myths, each at opposite extremes: 1, weed is not physically, or otherwise, addicting.


Again, please supply some evidence to support this claim

The problem here doesn`t seem to be pot but depression.

The OP`s SO may be self medicating, dealing with the pot use as if it`s the problem will be of no use to the OP.

Deal with the depression and the pot use will be dealt with as well.


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## Cherry

tacoma said:


> I am a decent pothead, have been for years.
> I see no myth
> 
> 
> 
> I`ve not seen this assumption promoted in this thread.
> 
> 
> 
> I`ve known many many pot users who have toked as a way of self medicating so I agree there is indeed a psychological aspect to "addiction".
> However lighting up twice a week doesn`t jibe with those I`ve known who are psychologically addicted.
> Those users I`ve known are morning, noon, & night.
> 
> 
> 
> Please sight some evidence for this claim.
> In over 50 years of trying damn hard the FDA itself has come up empty handed looking for evidence of physical addiction from pot.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This statement shows you have no experience with physically addictive substances.
> while a psychological addiction can be difficult it is nothing compared to the power a physical addiction holds over a users will.
> Ask any lifetime smoker which was more difficult to overcome, the physical cravings or the mental triggers.
> I already know the answer.
> 
> 
> 
> Again, please supply some evidence to support this claim
> 
> The problem here doesn`t seem to be pot but depression.
> 
> The OP`s SO may be self medicating, dealing with the pot use as if it`s the problem will be of no use to the OP.
> 
> Deal with the depression and the pot use will be dealt with as well.


One of my favorite posters on here. Who'd a thunk it . 

And I agree with you on all points.


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