# Does Religion Enhance Your Marriage?



## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

How many here find that religion and/or spirituality enhances the love for their spouse or hinders it? I find it enhances it. 

(please only respectful and sincere answers... no mocking of religion please)


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

I can honestly say that if I was not a believer in my faith, I would have been and alcoholic, weed smoking junkie who would try to score every woman.

So in a way my poor wife has to put up with all my naughtiness as there is no one else I can do anything with.


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## canjad80 (Oct 31, 2011)

If both share the same beliefs/faith, then I think it could be another point of bonding. Though not always since some people place their faith as their number one priority above their spouse.

With differing beliefs, I've found that religion/spirituality in relationships is nothing but trouble.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

My faith has kept me from walking out the door.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

While it enhances mine, for many I talk to it is an encumbrance. 

As an example, my wife was married before to a very pious man. Went to seminary... and as a result he was all about having a Christian image and therefore refused to address the problems in the marriage and felt counseling was unchristian and only proved out weaknesses... He became abusive and she had to flee finally. 

So I suppose it depends on how serious one is about their faith and if they still understand they are fallible.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I personally felt that it enhanced our marriage, only up until FB covertly placed STBXW back in the arms of two men from her distant past.

And although our marriage was religiously based in its inception, over a short span of time, she drifted away from it, probably not too very long before her affairs ensued!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I can say that my spirituality and beliefs are the glue in many of my relationships...friendship or otherwise.

I tend to gravitate towards people who believe similar to myself....who have experienced similar as myself. It feels good.

My husband and I 'get' each other's beliefs and understand and have very similar beliefs so it's nice. I couldn't be with someone who doubted me or thought I was crazy.


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## Mentalprision (Aug 10, 2013)

My faith makes me believe my husband will change but I am confused.I feel God doesn't want me to be miserable and I feel God can change him.I don't know so maybe if I didn't believe in God I would leave.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Yes........it most definitely does, but at times it can hinder a sex life. I say at times not most of the time!! It is sometimes hard to be good, wholesome, moral, in things then become a nasty, bang me, freak at the flip of a switch!

With that said I wouldn't trade my spiritual wife for her non spiratual counterpart any day of the week!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Absolutely! It allows me (or compels me) to view my wife as my own personal gift from God. Because I have faith in His wisdom, even if I don't "feel" like I'm getting great treatment from my wife on a particular day, I am able to still believe I am getting what is best for me. My treatment of her doesn't depend on how I feel or how well or poorly she has performed. Taking care of her and my kids is a duty I owe my Creator. Keeping my vows to her is a duty I owe Him. Without that, my commitment to the marriage could wax or wain according to my own selfish motivations. I'd treat her according to how I felt or what I felt she deserved. My faith helps keep me on track when my emotions would bail.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We're both atheists with strong Buddhist leanings. Our shared perspective and understanding has been a very positive influence on our marriage.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I think my husband has a great personality because of his religious background. I am grateful for his religion, so I won't be against his religion even though I don't agree with them 100%. 

The information I got from some religions (Christianity and Buddhism) has helped me a lot personally, so I am in favor of religions. 

I am into religions not for its prestige, doctrines, or rituals. I just like what they teach about human personality and how to deal with personal struggles. There is so much to learn. 

People who are not guided by religions are being controlled by their personalities, and sometimes some people's personalities are destructive to their life.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

On one hand, I think my husband's faith is what makes him the giving, generous person he is. So I can't fault that, but on the other, I can't deny it's caused us some problems. 

We've had a recurring issue about image versus reality. There's been an issue with downplaying and ignoring major problems because it would require breaking through this Stepford facade that everything is happy and peachy.

A major source of resentment on my part was how I turned down a potential job interview when we were first married, because of my husband's attitude when I came home with the news and mentioned applying. (It was a potential teaching position as a parochial school of the "wrong" denomination.) It was the first real lead on a job since my cross-country move, and I really wanted support and a "good luck." I wanted to feel supported. I was really crushed when instead I got a stoic response, heavy-laden with a voice of disapproval. 

What followed was a long stint of rejection letters, and having a minimum-wage job for two years that was totally soul-crushing. (I could start a whole thread about it.) I wasn't supposed to discuss having that job either, as I was working for a religious bookstore again of the "wrong" type. 

It was a situation that led to a lot of anger towards my husband, because I felt that I was supposed to "dog and pony" and hide who I was so that other people would approve of me.
We eventually had a major blow-out about it, that I couldn't live like that. That I was tired of having to feel ashamed of myself. 

Unfortunately, in the end, the only solution to the problem has been to stop going to church to avoid the social drama, and to no longer talk about religious topics between us. 

I hope eventually, we can get past that.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

In answer to the question, No.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

No, religion doesn't play a part in my marriage. We're both not religious at all. We're closer to being atheists.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

No, atheist here. Religion plays no part in my marriage. And we've lurched along for 23 years, 23 year anniversary 4 days ago to be exact.

I think religion is like any other 'idea' or thought process. If it helps your marriage and is used in moderation then great. It can be a positive influence on a marriage. I have many friends who go to church and seem to have good, happy marriages so their religion must help them.

I had a friend who got involved in a fundamentalist group, Calvinists, and ended up being locked up in a police cell to calm down as he was trying to force her to change to his religion. That can't have done the marriage much good.


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## Weathered (Dec 15, 2009)

Not religion, but faith. My wife and I would probably have been divorced by now if it were not for the Bible we both believe in. We have seen first hand how the truth of God's word transforms broken lives and it has made us better people as well a stronger marriage. We now see how it can and has helped other marriages by the basic principles of love, respect and generosity.

No doubt, there are many wonderful marriages without the influence of any spiritual beliefs, though I do consider that when God is the centre of a marriage, there is a three-fold cord that is not easily broken.


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## life101 (Nov 18, 2012)

It didn't last time. I am spiritual, not overly religious. My STBXW was "zealot" religious, not spiritual. Very very bad match up. But, again, hindsight is 20/20.

BTW, I headed to the "Politics and Religion" sub-section here for the first time this morning.
God! 

:rant: :crazy: :gun: :wtf: :2gunsfiring_v1: :soapbox: :FIREdevil:


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> How many here find that religion and/or spirituality enhances the love for their spouse or hinders it? I find it enhances it.
> 
> (please only respectful and sincere answers... no mocking of religion please)


*Spirituality practiced correctly enhances our relationship in a very positive manner.* In addition it is the glue that keeps us together and from acting totally selfish. Without our spirituality I would have left my wife and she would probably have left me.

I have put my God above my wife at times and it was right! In fact I should always put God ahead of others. In my faith God will always be faithful and trustworthy and be there for you when no one else is. Mankind is limited, God is not. When I get closer to God I have more love to give my wife and others.

*My faith is a very difficult path to walk as it requires, sacrifice, forgiveness, denying selfishness, accountability, respect, loving others as I would want to be loved, dedication and perseverance to name just a few.* I fall short often but when I am moving in that direction it always helps my relationship with my wife and others in a very positive way!



Blunt


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## inquizitivemind (Jul 16, 2013)

My husband and I have benefited from our faith. We regularly pray together and we both use it as a way to guide our behavior. Everybody is selfish now and then, but when you remember to be grateful for all that you have to God, it brings you back down to reality and just how small of a person you are. I think this only works when two people share the same faith and have similar attitudes towards that faith.


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## bewilderness (Jun 11, 2013)

No. In fact, sometimes I think our atheism keeps us from calling it quits. Because the odds of finding other sane, rational people out there are not in our favor. Most people believe in some kind of supernatural being.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Weathered (Dec 15, 2009)

That doesn't sound like a reason conducive of a happy marriage. I think you would know that in this era of easy access to information, breeding increased skepticism and alternative lifestyles, there is an increase, not a decrease in the proportion of atheistic and agnostic belief systems. People more so than ever are finding they are 'too learned' to have faith in an invisible God, and find their own explanations for our own existence.


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

Our lack of organized religion does not keep us from leading a moral life. Just though I'd throw that thought in there.


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## silentghost (Jan 28, 2013)

My faith in God has kept me in peace through some diffucult times.
If it weren't for my faith.... I would have left for an EA long time ago.
In spite of the lack of affection and intimacy in my marriage...God has shown that HIs love for me goes alot deeper than any love I've ever known.


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## Weathered (Dec 15, 2009)

scatty said:


> Our lack of organized religion does not keep us from leading a moral life. Just though I'd throw that thought in there.


A lack of laws doesn't keep the people from leading a lawful life either. But that doesn't mean much. The thing about religion is that it is more a ritual than a relationship, which is what real faith is about.


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