# Conflicted, confused and severly depressed. HELP!



## LovesLemieux (Dec 14, 2012)

Ok, I am 35 and have been married since I was 18. We have 4 kids (11, 12, 15, 17) I have totally fallen out of love with my husband. He is a good man in some respects ( he works hard and pays the bills and is an ok father) But he is a total jer to me and says really hurtful things daily, has been since the beginning. He is addicted to smoking weed, he spends about 200$ a week on it and will smoke in the house, while driving, he just has no cares where that is concerned. Well, I met a man online, I play World of Warcraft and that's how we met. We became fast friends but somehow ended up falling in love. We have met in person and the feeling did transfer into real life. He is the man I am supposed to be with. We are perfect for eachother. ( he is also married and has fallen out of love with his wife for the same reasons I have fallen out of love with my husband) I will add he has 2 children... We'll we took out relationship to the physical level and I never connected with my husband the way he and I connected. I really believe this is the person I was always meant to be with. Things are so complicated, because we are both married, he lives about 900 miles away and at this point neither of us can just up and leave our current situation. I cry almost every day because all I want to for us to be together and start our new lives togther with all of the children. We both just want to be happy and we have no idea how to go about it. Neither of us want to hurt the children ( we both have kids with aspergers, which is one of the reasons we started talking to begin with)
I hate my home life now, I just need to be away from my husband, he is so toxic and hurtful for me and frankly I am scared of him. I can;t go on living like this much longer, I am tired of being depressed and crying every day. The only happiness I have is when I talk to the man i love. He just came to visit me, we spent 2 days togther and it was the best two days i have had in the last 17 years. When he went home yesterday i lost it, I have been an emotional mess because miss him so much and need him so badly. I feel like I am losing my mind...


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

It is so sad to read stuff like this. Is it possible that you have been so miserable anybody you connected with who was friendly and kind would be your 'soulmate' or somebody you were 'meant' to be with. Hence you feel so in love with this new guy? 

Jumping into another relationship before finishing the one you are in is just bad. If you are unhappy with your husband. Sit him down and tell him. Then decide if you want a divorce. Then once it is over go out and find somebody else.

Whether you want to believe it or not your current relationship makes any new feelings foggy at best. Sounds like you and the guy you met think you have a lot in common because of unloving spouses so its obvious you would feel a connection. That connection was strengthened more by talking to one another about your problems. Its naive to say you've met your true love here.

Plus if you have a relationship with this guy you will always know he had a emotional affair while married and so did you. That damages any trust you could hope to build with each other.

My opinion may not count for much, but I say tell this new guy your plans. Drop contact with him and fix or leave your marriage. Then when its done start see this other guy.


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## condave (Aug 1, 2012)

given your 2 families, cheating and that you don't really know this man even though you think you do, I can only see this ending badly 

it's not uncommon for men to lie about wanting to leave their wives just to get in your pants , you need to test him by pressing him to leave his wife, that's when you'll see him stuttering, man lie about this all the time 

you don't know this man enough to say you love him, it takes years to know someone and build love, what you have is infatuation and lust that's all

let me end of by saying, what you did, cheating on your husband like that was a deplorable thing to do, you failed to respect your hubby and your family by doing this, this damage might never be undone

anywhoo goodluck


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

He's everything you need in a man?? HAHAHAHHAHA

Have you lived with him for years and know all his little crap that might annoy you to death?

Remember, when you 1st date most people put on the fake persona to get the person. Once things settle down, the nut scratching, farting, burping, don't shower all day, leave my clothes around and you pick them up, don't put the toilet seat down, don't wash my clothes or dishes, etc...come out.


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