# I don't know what I should do...



## Dale Martin (Sep 24, 2015)

I've been married for nearly two years. We've been together for almost four. Early on in the relationship we had problems. I saw something on her phone and instead of asking I immediately accused her of cheating. Since then I had tried to work on my insecurity. We have both been cheated on in the past. After a while, I got curious and started checking her phone and then she lost her trust in me. We still tried to work things out. I got a new job shortly after moving in. Her daughter started calling me daddy. She's 7 now. Anyway, we had our fights. We both got better at not storming off afterwards. And tried talking things out. On a semi related note, I have ADHD. I do a lot of things on impulse. Or I decide not to do things on impulse. Well, time went by and we got married. I can see now how lazy I must have looked to her. I started saying abusive things to or about her, not on purpose but impulse. And it got worse when she started getting fed up and I wound up taking it out on our daughter. I didn't mean to, but I did. I'm still no good at this dad thing. And then I started getting written up at work. We fought, and I asked her for another chance time and time again. fast forward to 5 months ago, and there we were again. Same problems, but every time I thought we were better, boy was I wrong. She never forgot anything I've done over the years. All the mistakes I made and times I've hurt her come through. Now to July this year, vacation to see my family. Daughter is watching my cousin and I doing something and walks off and trips on something and breaks her elbow. I was in panic mode like honey get the car let's go to the hospital. Well now here we are Sunday the 6th this month I get my final write up as she's getting ready to leave town to build up clients for Mary Kay. I try not to worry about it, and we talk until Monday morning. After Monday morning, that ugly creature rears its head. Doubt. I had started suspecting her of cheating again. Then I did something worse, I went to her best friend, trying to catch her in a lie, if she was. That's when it all went south again. Her friend had informed her of what we had planned, saying that I said she likes sex more than her own daughter, which I never did. Again, all impulse. She gets home Wednesday night and yeah, she's mad. She's tried to help me but I always got annoyed with her. Anyway, things seemed to be okay until the following day, when I get my termination papers. I immediately went over to her friend with every intention of stopping our plan. She ignores me and says we'll see what she says monday. Now is when she goes and talks to my soon to be ex wife without my knowledge, twisting my own words against me. Friday night, 6 am. Well Saturday morning but doesn't matter. We have a huge fight, like one we haven't had in years. I said things I can never take back. Now I'm furious at her friend and take off to confront her at 6 am. Not thinking about the fact she and her husband have a newborn baby. I sit there and talk with another friend of theirs just to try to calm down. He told me what was said between us stayed that way. What a crock. Now they're all pissed at me thanks to whatever my wife told them after I left later that afternoon. Some friends huh. Anyway, the next day she's telling me to leave. I refused at first, but then I gave in once she threatened the cops on me. Sunday I packed up what I could fit in my car. After begging and pleading for her to take me back. I know now she never returned to trusting me. She said the very reason she was done and it was to late was I was abusive to them both. I see that I was now. She immediately declared legal separation on the 14th. And thanks to tribal law our divorce is on our 2nd anniversary of all days. She doesn't trust me to the point that she honestly believes that I broke our daughter's arm. Here we are now and she's letting me stay here until my new apartment is ready on the 1st. But she still insists This isn't my home anymore. She only lets me see my daughter under close supervision and with as little contact as possible. I don't get it. She's got such hate for me and says she'll never forgive me but acts civil because she "only cares about me as a human being. " I've tried talking to her a couple of times but when I get her to listen she runs off to her friend. Now I don't know. Maybe she still loves me but she just can't ever forgive or trust me again. I see how hurt she is. I blew my last chance, but I still want to try to change. I've already started by getting back on medication for adhd, finally doing what she asked of me hoping she'll change her mind about the divorce. I even got her and our daughter a matching anniversary gift back in July when I thought things were fine and now I don't know what to do with that. I've contemplated going ahead and finishing moving out, and waiting until the court date with no other contact just to deliver them to her with a heartfelt letter and just walking off and hoping for the best, since according to her I won't need to be there and the divorce will go through immediately without a 30 day waiting period. What should I do? I've meant it every time I wanted to better myself and our marriage but I let her down too many times? I don't want to have to move on, and then there's our daughter. I'm seeing her every day since I left. I've read all the articles saying let her and she'll either remember and start to miss you or she'll move on. I don't want that. I don't want this divorce. I want to show her for once that I WILL change with a determination I've never shown before. What do I do? Anyone help me!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

Just a hint...you need to put paragraphs in your post or no one will read it...I am trying to.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Let's face it you messed up Big time....honestly you need help, you counseling, you should just walk away form this relationship and spend the time working on you. But that is not what you want to hear, which only means you will continue to beg her to take you back until she place a restraining order against you.


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## Dale Martin (Sep 24, 2015)

Yeah, never mind. She cheated. I'm done.
She has the balls to threaten me when
the divorce hasn't even been filed yet.
Sorry for the bad paragraphs, 
I'm on a mobile phone. Kinda hard to do.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Really sorry to hear that. How did you find out? How long has it been going on? Physical? With who? How did they meet? What's next? Have you confronted with your new proof?


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## Dale Martin (Sep 24, 2015)

Yeah when I was sleeping on the couch I heard her doing the deed on her laptop. So then she leaves and I get on there and there it was on her facebook. Pictures of them when she had her trip to "south Carolina". She was in Kentucky the whole time. So it's been going on at least since before the separation. I took pictures for evidence if she tries anything. 

You know, it's funny. All these years I suspected her of doing things with other guys and she had me believing I was insecure. Hell she even started blaming me for stuff to the point that I believed I wasn't good enough for her. It's this 22 year old kid from my home town that came here from Germany. She's 30!

They met on facebook through my sister who was friends with him in real life. It seems to be more than just physical. And she's doing the same thing with him she did with me when we got together. Buying him gifts out of my pocket, talking **** about me to him. Making him believe I'm this horrible person who always yells at her daughter and breaks promises. And to top it off she lied. She never filed for legal separation with Tribal court.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Go full exposure to everyone. Do it now.

The best thing you can do.


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## Dale Martin (Sep 24, 2015)

Already done.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Have you financially separated any joint account you have together?


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## Dale Martin (Sep 24, 2015)

We never had one. Now she wants to play dirty.
So now I'm going to lawyer up and get her for
Criminal conversation and the other guy for
Alienation of affection. Plus she wants to take me to court over this phone and my part of the bill so it's my turn. I'm going to counter sue for all the stuff she's used my card for. 10k at least just for the cell phone bills, not including my part. She's going to find out just who she's screwing with.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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