# The Old Goat's Become a Stud Muffin



## MrsStudMuffin (May 11, 2014)

So I was searching the web and looking for some answers to something that's bothering me and I found TAM: My dear hubby has suddenly become a health freak. And, he looks amazing...not just for his age, but any age.

A little background. I am 55 and he is 65. It's our second marriage each. He had a long and horrible marriage to an awful woman and stayed in it until the kids were gone. His own folks had gotten divorced when he was 14 and he had to become the "man of the family." Yes, he exhibits typical "Nice Guy" tendencies. 

I got married very young to get out of the house to a hapless guy who couldn't find his butt with both hands and written instructions. He was able to find bars, however, and ultimately found them much more interesting than the marital bed. I bounced him after 6 years. I went back to school, got an engineering degree and now work in a very interesting and traditionally male field. I've had a series of short and long relationships over the years.

Hubbs swept me off my feet. We met on a computer dating site and I found him. His photos showed him to be a nice looking man, involved with manly things--horseback riding, hunting but also in a tux. He does scrub up nicely. He's a retired university professor. We were together for 5 years before he proposed and we've been married for 5 now. 

So what's the problem? About two years ago, the docs got after him about high blood pressure. They prescribed some meds that made Mr. Willy Mr. Limpy. Hubbs took this badly and I said the usual things that do no good, "Oh that happens...happens to everybody. No big deal" That sort of thing. But it was to him. (One diversion here...I don't like oral sex and as willing as he is to do it, I just find it icky. So some frustration for both of us. ) 

After the weak Willy episode, Hubbs started going to the gym and with a vengeance. He stopped drinking, talked his doc into prescribing him some testosterone gel, lost 30 pounds (he's 5'10" 180 lbs now) and he looks amazing. He's buffed up and has big arms, an XL chest and an almost flat tummy. 

He was nice looking before and could be very charming but now he turns heads of women and it doesn't help that he wears polo shirts that show off his shoulders and biceps. He's gray haired, but still has most of it. Not wrinkled...less than me actually. And, yes the Willy works well. The old goat's become a stud muffin.

What's my problem? I'm away from home for long periods of time and I'm worried. I've stepped up my game, and go to the gym when I'm home, but could stand to lose a few pounds. It's not in my nature to be "romantic," as I'm an engineer after all. I'm worried that when I'm gone, he'll be tempted. 

Have any other ladies dealt with anything similar and what did you do.


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

He's 65. Most of the women at the gym are probably way younger and wouldn't date a married 65 year old man even if he looks good for his age. I know that I wouldn't. I may think that he looks good for his age, but his age would be a turnoff, and the fact that he is married would be turn off most women.

If you have a good relationship with him, and he loves you, he won't cheat on you. I don't think you need to worry.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

loveadvice said:


> He's 65. Most of the women at the gym are probably way younger and wouldn't date a married 65 year old man even if he looks good for his age. I know that I wouldn't. I may think that he looks good for his age, but his age would be a turnoff, and the fact that he is married would be turn off most women.
> 
> If you have a good relationship with him, and he loves you, he won't cheat on you. I don't think you need to worry.


May be true for you, but there are many younger women who would be interested in him sexually if he looks the way OP says. Check out Flabergasted"s thread. His mid 40's wife had an A with a 63 year old retired cop she met at the gym.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If he hasn't and isn't showing interest in other women, and still shows at least the same level of interest in you, then your concerns are probably unfounded. Of course, it can't hurt to step up your game a bit and also initiate sex a bit more often, which at the very least shows some appreciation of the tremendous efforts he's made to be healthy and be attractive to you and sexual with you.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

barbados said:


> May be true for you, but there are many younger women who would be interested in him sexually if he looks the way OP says. Check out Flabergasted"s thread. His mid 40's wife had an A with a 63 year old retired cop she met at the gym.


One can never be sure just how another woman or man my feel when it comes to selecting companionship.
In the last three years, I have had several women considerably younger than I am try to find some way to broach the subject.
I discourage any who are younger than forty by one means or another and when I let any that I would consider know that there will be no long term plans, that weeds out all but the very few. of the others.
My past experience has shown me that most younger women dating older guys and even marrying them are in it for financial reasons.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

From what is sounds like to me is that he got himself back in shape and with the help of the testosterone is a added benefit and I think he did it for his health but also for you too because the blood pressure meds put a damper in your sex life.

If you feel that you need to shed a pound or two, then ask Mister Stud Muffin to help. Got a feeling that he would be happy to and with a little body contact while he's helping you can make your work outs a little more interesting than you might think.


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## MrsStudMuffin (May 11, 2014)

Thank you all for your replies. In rereading my first post, I see it reveals more about my own insecurities than any indication that he might stray. 

I know that he jumped on this health kick in part because he wants to please me...as well as it being the right thing to do for his own health and well being. 

I'm willing to up my game although I'm pretty plain vanilla as far as the bedroom goes. And, when I get home from the field where the food and diversions ain't great, I do like to indulge in both. (We live in Las Vegas.) 

Thanks and any other advice gratefully accepted too.


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

barbados said:


> May be true for you, but there are many younger women who would be interested in him sexually if he looks the way OP says. Check out Flabergasted"s thread. His mid 40's wife had an A with a 63 year old retired cop she met at the gym.


I don't think we are in disagreement.

I said "most women" and you said "many". I still think most women would not date a man 2 or 3 decades older who is married. However, there may be some outliers out there. 

I do agree with another poster who mentioned that financial gain may be one motivation for dating a 2 decades older married man. 
We are generalizing here and of course there are exceptions, but in general many women that I see who are marrying men who are 2 or 3 decades older are women who need some help financially to maintain the standard of living they were used to when they were married or want to become accustomed to by marrying these men who are more stable financially. Or, they need support emotionally because men that they have dated have been abusive, jerks, etc., and it is comforting to have a father figure who is nice to her. There is a real difference in stamina and common interests in people who are 2 or 3 decades apart. I would think that MOST women would want to stay somewhat close to their own age range unless there is some other personal reason for doing so. I also think that there are some women who just happened to find a 2 or 3 decades older man who she gets along with, but I think those kind of women are not the pursuers initially. The older men would normally be the pursuer in that scenario and he would need to convince her that they are right for each other despite the age difference. Just my thoughts and generalizations based on what I've seen out there. 

I would rather date someone closer to my own age if I am looking for long term compatibility. Maybe around 8 years older would be the maximum I would consider. It would a turnoff to me to know that the man I am dating is my father's age. 

Bottom line, if the OP's husband loves her and their relationship is good, he won't cheat even if there are women who are flirting with him. And, he won't be the pursuer.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If anything, that plain vanilla hang up of yours is what can lead to problems. Boredom, testosterone and gym girls flirting are not a good combination. And you're frequently gone? Oh man.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

OP, not to worry you unnecessarily, but if you are a little out of shape while your H is now looking like Grade A Prime Rib, you may want to up your game yourself. I'm not saying that your H is going to cheat, but I'm sure he'll get tempted. I think it's human nature for men and women to let their new found good looks (from diet/exercise) get to their heads a little. I'd watch a little more closely to see how he's handling his new great looks, but not get paranoid about it just yet.

IMHO, you have a great opportunity for you to get onto the fitness bandwagon and truly get your husband revved up too. That and being willing to try new things in bed will have your H eating out of the palm of your hand.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Please try not to think oral sex as icky. I love doing this for my wife, but she wont let me because she thinks it nasty. Truth be told I like doing it as much as having PIV sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

He was probably shot about Mr. Willy not being capable of being Mr. Stiffy.

Now that he has found something that is working for his health and libido he is feeling on top again.

I don't think you have anything to worry about. 

People flirt regardless!!!!

Just because you are away from home doesn't mean there arent several means of communication to have with him.

I think he just feels empowered that he feels great about himself. 
Nothing wrong with that.


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

From your first post it looks like you have an honorable guy...stayed in an unhappy marriage to protect his kids from an experience like that he had with divorced parents. 

So your concern may not be "will he stray" but how can I show him love and appreciation for the improvements he's made. Add some sprinkles and syrup to the plain vanilla just because you can. It is within your power to do that. Knock his sox off and you'll not only have a great time but he will not even think about those callow young things.


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## MrsStudMuffin (May 11, 2014)

Do any of you know what a "Liberator" is? Well, it's a sex pillow and I came home from the field to find it and the instruction manual in our bedroom. Mr. Muffin had a goofy grin on his face and expectation in his eyes. 

I don't know what's wrong with vanilla sex and I'm afraid if I'm open to the pillow, there will be new steps toward other "toys." 

So far it's not been part of our intimate encounters, but he keeps suggesting. And, he's stepped up the frequency.

I agree that I should go to the gym with him and work on myself, but when I get home from the field, I just like to do girly stuff.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Lol. Don't worry hon. It's just a pillow. Nothing even remotely kinky. Just changes the angles.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

MrsStudMuffin said:


> Do any of you know what a "Liberator" is? Well, it's a sex pillow and I came home from the field to find it and the instruction manual in our bedroom. Mr. Muffin had a goofy grin on his face and expectation in his eyes.
> 
> I don't know what's wrong with vanilla sex and I'm afraid if I'm open to the pillow, there will be new steps toward other "toys."
> 
> ...


Do you realize that many women would LOVE to come home and find hubby had bought a piece of expensive sex furniture to try new things with (ie: the Liberator)? I'm just pointing this out to you because you almost sound like you think your ideas and feelings about sex are "the right way". But not everyone is afraid of such things. Some of us welcome them.

Seeing that other people don't always feel the way you do sometimes helps us loosen up our old beliefs.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Mrs StudMuffin, so you have any idea what a gem you have in your husband! How I wish I had your problem!

Wanna trade?

Kidding...mostly....

Girl, let those inhibitions go! Have wild sex! Holy cow your old enough to be okay with your body and everything it does! You need to spend some time learning about the erotic and kinky world of great sex! Go buy some lingerie, body oil, candles and hancuffs! Shave you snatch and relax!

Damn!


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## SailBadTheSinner (Apr 7, 2014)

I don't mean to be harsh, but let me see if I understand this right. Your "Old Goat" gets on a health kick b/c the docs told him he had high blood pressure and as a result, he's looking good and gym-fit. You're worried he's going to stray while you're off working. 

You admit that he's buffed up and taken care of business in part so he can satisfy you. Yet, you parcel out the sex in tea spoons and you're unwilling to go beyond vanilla. And, horrors upon horrors, he's bought a Liberator! (Which, by the way is more for the women's pleasure than the man's.) 

Oh, you're fluffy but won't go to the gym with him to get fit yourself or protect him from those rapacious gym vixens. And, you like to indulge when you get home--I'm thinking that means over eat.

You're an engineer. Do you see anything wrong with any of this? Really?


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## MrsStudMuffin (May 11, 2014)

Back from the field and I was wondering what surprise Mr Muffin would have this time. He's hired a physical trainer...a female trainer. Actually he's waiting for me to interview her too before finakizing things and she's supposed to be for both of us. 

The thing is, I have my own system and have used it ever since college. I don't need someone telling me what to do in the gym. He says that she's specialized in the needs of older adults and is the best in our area. AND with me or without me, he's going to train with her. This is somewhat unlike him as he usually agrees with me.

I'm wondering if he's embarked on this 180 TAM people write about. And why he would want to do that. Everything is fine with us except his elevated libido and this trainer.


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## dream_weaver (Jun 5, 2012)

Be open to new ideas, that's what hubby wants you to do. If you don't go along part way with it he's going to do it anyway & it will create tension in your marriage. Sounds like you're not open to change. Hubby feels great about himself now (I've done the whole complete change/fitness thing & lost 45kg) but wants to enjoy it with you i.e: training together, try different things in the bedroom etc. Sorry but if you remain stubborn & don't meet him part way he'll be attracted to someone with the same interests.

So many things have evolved in the fitness arena so I'm sure from what you did in college there is lots to learn & yes given you are older it's wise to get some information relating to your body now.

All I can say is while he has embarked on this if you don't meet somewhere in the middle you'll create a big divide between you.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

You are starting to implode on him thinking its the right thing and it will backfire because to him it will feel immensely negative and suffocating. And if it were me I would be concerned about an affair. Yes, he's been honorable in the past but this is today and there aren't kids to keep him in. 

You may not need someone to tell you what to do in the gym, but I seriously recommend accepting offers to get down to his environment and study whats happening around him. Especially scoping out the vibe between him and this female trainer. I'm hearing some head in the sand on affair risk AND in the bedroom. 

If he's feeling stifled and some energetic woman comes alone to "free" that emotional space, you could have trouble brewing. Learning to free that emotional space at home is the best tincture to prevent an affair.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

And please keep this in mind... My husband had an affair and the BEST thing I ever did was to realize my own worth. When I began standing in the truth of being the strong, beautiful, smart, very unique woman that I am knowing I bring a LOT to my marriage, and stopped competing with "her," my husband took notice. Being insecure around these other women will be a turn off to him, so before you go to his gym, get strong in your mind over who you are and what you bring to the marriage. Get clear on where to knock off some stale thinking/attitudes and have a plan. You have two fronts to tackle here... His gym environment and your home environment. Home needs to win.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

I'm a recovering uptight engineer. It's no way to live and a waste of energy. A therapist once told my wife that engineers process emotions differently and can be hard to live with. She was right and I embarked on making some changes. How much time do you think you have left anyway? If he gives up on you at least you'll know the root cause. Life is short. Embrace it.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

My H is very much like the way you describe yours. He is 63, also an academic. I am a few years younger. The difference is that he has always taken care of his health/looks - really since I've known him & we've been married for a long time. We met in our twenties.

I have also always taken care of myself. I would do this independent of him, but it is definitely true that he spurs me on .

The way I feel is that it's a two-way street. Sure, he can attract other women and do something outside the marriage if he wants, but I can attract other men if I want to go that route. Life and biology tell us that he'd be finding a younger woman and I'd be finding an older man. Probably he'd get someone in good shape, but he's living proof that I could find an older man who is physically attractive. I have several friends my age who are dating & contrary to TAM lore, are doing just fine. We are not dead yet.

So...anything can happen. Why not spend some time to tone yourself & do it just for you. Step up your exercise, eat healthy and buy some new clothes. Feel good about yourself and then live your life. That's really all you can control anyway, in my opinion.


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

OP, you need to learn to relax and go with the flow.

Let your H perform oral on you, once you get over your initial apprehensions, you might find that you like it as much or more than he enjoys giving it to you.

Open up your mind a bit. Indulge him with the personal trainer, he is only trying to get you to feel the same way he feels with his new and improved physique.

There are SO MANY women here on TAM that would KILL to have your situation. I know in my marriage, we were uptight about sex for a long time. Nowadays, the only things off the table sexually are third parties, pain/humiliation, and anal intercourse. Pretty much everything else is in play, and we are both in our 50's.

Sex is how men express love for their woman. Relax and let him help you get over your inhibitions.


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## SailBadTheSinner (Apr 7, 2014)

Your disrespect for your husband is breathtaking. At first I thought you're referring to him as an "old goat" was just a clever phrase, but consciously or unconsciously, you mean it. You make fun of his efforts and successes in healthy living and physical improvement you sabotage him in and out of the bedroom. 

Keep going as you are and you will lose him not because he strays, but because you threw him away. Women like you are known as "castrating females" for good reason. Straighten up. Fly right. Or, you'll fly alone


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

SailBadTheSinner said:


> Your disrespect for your husband is breathtaking. At first I thought you're referring to him as an "old goat" was just a clever phrase, but consciously or unconsciously, you mean it. You make fun of his efforts and successes in healthy living and physical improvement you sabotage him in and out of the bedroom.
> 
> Keep going as you are and you will lose him not because he strays, but because you threw him away. Women like you are known as "castrating females" for good reason. Straighten up. Fly right. Or, you'll fly alone



this looks pretty judgmental to me. i agree the OP needs to loosen up and game up, but i missed the breathtaking disrespect part. i do, however, find a lot of disrespectful judgments and accusations in YOUR post.


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

Actually, I was thinking the same thing as SailBad. A little less blunt, perhaps, but you do mock him repeatedly in your posts. Do you do that at home too? Perhaps that's a reason for the 180 you say you've observed. 

You're smart and your job requires you to make observations, deduce problems and come up with solutions. You first said you were concerned that he had become fit and was attractive. You're gone working for days at a time and the unsaid implication was that you were afraid he would stray. 

Yet you make fun of or criticize his high libido, his attempts to put something new into your sex life and while you admit to being out of shape, you reject his offers to workout together, or to learn new age appropriate workouts with a trainer. He has been withou you for as long as you've been without him when you're away at work and yet when you come home you "want to do girley" things. Have you thought how that kind of rejection might make him feel? I liked the comment about your measuring out your sexual favors in "teaspoons". And plain vanilla at that!

Please for your good hubby's and your own well being loosen up, love him cherish him and enjoy each other. Then you won't have to worry. Good luck


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

You might not want to hear what I have to say since I am a guy,but I will say it anyway. This guy came from a terriable marraige and most likely had no sex or very little and now for him and you he changes himself and you are being conservative on him.The guy is 65 he has no more time to hope somebody changes so yes if I was 65 and my wife would not want to even explore simple sex stuff I would have my eyes open for others. 

If you find oral sex Icky ,take a shower with him before and wash it so you know its clean and use the pillow why not.Are thses simple things worth putting you marriage at risk.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

MrsStudMuffin said:


> Back from the field and I was wondering what surprise Mr Muffin would have this time. He's hired a physical trainer...a female trainer. Actually he's waiting for me to interview her too before finakizing things and she's supposed to be for both of us.
> 
> The thing is, I have my own system and have used it ever since college. I don't need someone telling me what to do in the gym. He says that she's specialized in the needs of older adults and is the best in our area. AND with me or without me, he's going to train with her. This is somewhat unlike him as he usually agrees with me.
> 
> I'm wondering if he's embarked on this 180 TAM people write about. And why he would want to do that. Everything is fine with us except his elevated libido and this trainer.


Stop being an old prude. Much of youth is in your perspective. You know what to do and how to do it yet you admit you aren't fit. Guess it isn't working, is it? 

A lot has been learned about the science of exercise. You expect your doctor to keep up with the times. You expect an engineer to keep up with the times and the tools/programs utilized in your field. And what works when we are 20 does NOT work when we are 60! Why are you so set in your ways? The old goat is YOU. And it's all in your head. 

You've become a cranky, set-in-your-ways old biddy way before your time if you're only in your 60s. Only one way to have sex, only one way to exercise, God forbid anyone suggests you try a new position or *gasp* lick _down there_ or buy a toy. It was good enough 40 years ago, it's good enough now, right? WRONG. We all have to evolve. If not we're stuck in a rut, which you obviously are. If your husband cheats it won't be because he doesn't love you - it's because he's given up on you.

So figure out a way to fire up your libido. You solve problems logically for a living so LIVE! How many years do you have left? Do you want to do it alone, puttering in your yard and watching old movies in your flannel or do you want to make these years COUNT? 

Buy the kama sutra - talk about old fashioned... that book has been around for hundreds of years. Read some racy romance books or erotica. Whatever it takes to get you fired up. And go ahead and use the personal trainer and let him take his lust out on you. You may be surprised at how good you can still look which may make you FEEL sexier. Embrace it and if you don't like it at least you can tell him that it wasn't that great for you but going in with your mind made up is a bit know-it-all, is it not?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

dubbizle said:


> You might not want to hear what I have to say since I am a guy,but I will say it anyway. This guy came from a terriable marraige and most likely had no sex or very little and now for him and you he changes himself and you are being conservative on him.The guy is 65 he has no more time to hope somebody changes so yes if I was 65 and my wife would not want to even explore simple sex stuff I would have my eyes open for others.
> 
> If you find oral sex Icky ,take a shower with him before and wash it so you know its clean and use the pillow why not.Are thses simple things worth putting you marriage at risk.


Right!

As 65 no man or woman has that much guaranteed time. If the spouse is refusing very simple and common lifestyle appropriations they are in their right to end the relationship and find someone more suited to the ride at this stage of their life.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

MrsStudMuffin said:


> Do any of you know what a "Liberator" is? Well, it's a sex pillow and I came home from the field to find it and the instruction manual in our bedroom. Mr. Muffin had a goofy grin on his face and expectation in his eyes.
> 
> I don't know what's wrong with vanilla sex and I'm afraid if I'm open to the pillow, there will be new steps toward other "toys."
> 
> ...


in the post before you said your willing to up your game.......so what have you done to up your game?

I see alot of I statements. which indicate that your on the selfish side.

I think you pretty cool to search out a message board to try to understand whats going on with your husband. now take the next step and really show him how much your desire him.:smthumbup:


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## Template (Aug 2, 2011)

I can see that his changes and his expectations are upsetting to you. Often, folks who get on the fitness bandwagon become so enamored of the lifestyle, they expect their spouses to follow their lead, regardless of how the spouse feels about it. They don't seem to care that their spouse doesn't much enjoy exercise for exercise sake or the often severe diet changes that weight loss programs demand.

It is not easy being coerced by fear to change to suit someone else's new lifestyle and in many ways it is not fair. 

That being said, I think you have 2 choices, neither of them particularly comfortable for you. You can push all change away and stay as you are and spend a lot of time worrying about what he is doing while you are away on business and he is in the gym with a bunch of hot looking women. 

OR

You can think about the situation in a rational, step by step way and design a program that will help the changes be a bit easier for you. You could meet with the trainer, show her the program you have been using since college and ask her opinion on how it could be updated for your stage of life (i.e. balance will become an issue as you age and she could give you some exercises to help you hone your balance). Make a commitment to your husband that you will exercise x times a week, what ever is comfortable for you and does not suck all your free time away. As far as the sex goes, again, think about what you could be doing and what you are doing. Plan a weekly challenge for yourself to expand your repertoire. You could hop in the shower with him or take the time to make the room more romantic before you get together. You could let him know how uncomfortable you are with change and ask him to help you over this with small, step by step, thought out changes (engineering logic). Just try it. Some things will work the first time, some will not work at all and some things will take a few tries to allow you to make an informed decision.

If you choose the first option, nothing changes for the better and you will be miserable. If you choose the second option, you get an improved physique and a new sexual repertoire. If he takes up with a gym bunny, you will be prepared to face the dating world again with confidence. But from how you describe him, I suspect he wants to be with you.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

hey, even engineers need hot sex! The way to keep his eyes on you is to step up your romance and sex at home. So you travel a lot. A lot do. When you ARE home, make sex and bonding with him a TOP priority. Spend lots of quality time together when u can.

ANd yeah, it was probably a shock to him to be temporarily impotent, and that spurred him into action. SO...just redouble your efforts and he will be more than satisfied.


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## MrsStudMuffin (May 11, 2014)

SailBadTheSinner said:


> Your disrespect for your husband is breathtaking. At first I thought you're referring to him as an "old goat" was just a clever phrase, but consciously or unconsciously, you mean it. You make fun of his efforts and successes in healthy living and physical improvement you sabotage him in and out of the bedroom.
> 
> Keep going as you are and you will lose him not because he strays, but because you threw him away. Women like you are known as "castrating females" for good reason. Straighten up. Fly right. Or, you'll fly alone


I feel like saying "Oh my God, what have I become? What have I done... what am I doing to the man I cherish? Thank you all for helping me see that I was acting in a way that confused and pained my dear husband.

I admit I am prudish about sex and as much as I intellectually accept "different strokes" it's just really hard for me to let go of my inhibitions. But I can try and the suggestion for small changes gives a good scope of work to begin. I also admit to a bias of thinking that there's one way and it's my way. 

I see now that I was cutting and disrespectful in many ways with most of them not making it to this forum, but probably tearing at his heart. I was covering up my own insecurities by diminishing him. He is a good man who literally pulled me from a pit, and I have done wrong by him. 

I an going to go cry and then go curl up in his strong arms and ask for forgiveness and tell him I love him. 

Thank you for making me see reality.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

....

....

....


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

Tell him you love him which will get to his heart and bring out the sex pillow to get to his other parts[lol] and he will really love.Everything he has done is to show [YOU] how much he loves and cares for you and want [YOU] so open up enjoy and have at it with this man the LOVES YOU.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

MrsStudMuffin said:


> Everything is fine with us except his elevated libido and this trainer.



yeah everything is NOT fine. You are on the road much of the time, and not very sexy for him when you do come home. He is not trying to involve you at the gym because you are already hot, sexy, and in shape and there is nothing in your relationship that needs improvement. He wants to knock you upside your head to wake you up. 

Also, he probably is spending a lot of time at the gym, and wants a close friend there working out with him. Go to the gym and try his routine (don't just go there, take a spinning class as he works out by himself....work out WITH him)


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I hope my being harsh was received as a need to wake up.  I admit I am very surprised at how much you were willing to open your eyes! Good for you! And as was mentioned by helpful posters, baby steps are all that is required. If your husband sees you making small changes, he will be excited about it and feel your devotion. It's wonderful he wants YOU. Read enough here and you'll find so many people who have been shut out sexually and are heartbroken by the rejection. I'm glad you aren't going to do that. You are fortunate to have a loving husband and are willing to devote some time to cultivating that. Taking your partner for granted is the worst.


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## SailBadTheSinner (Apr 7, 2014)

Are you bipolar?

I say that not to be flip or rude, but just to understand and offer appropriate advice. You say he pulled yOu from a pit. Depression?

Good for you in recognizing the need for change in yourself and your relationship and in accepting advice...some of it critical.

Good luck


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## Thebes (Apr 10, 2013)

Personally I would prefer someone close to my own age but I know some men that only like much younger women and say that's the only type that turn them on. Plus it makes them feel younger until they have a heart attack.

I think some young women like much older men because of money, father figure, they aren't having much luck with men their own age, problems only older men will put up with because they want a much younger woman so bad.

Sometimes though its just mutual attraction and they fall in love but I doubt that happens often.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Thebes said:


> Personally I would prefer someone close to my own age but I know some men that only like much younger women and say that's the only type that turn them on. Plus it makes them feel younger until they have a heart attack.
> 
> I think some young women like much older men because of money, father figure, they aren't having much luck with men their own age, problems only older men will put up with because they want a much younger woman so bad.
> 
> Sometimes though its just mutual attraction and they fall in love but I doubt that happens often.


Naw. A younger woman will make you feel older. Because a lot of the silly stuff they are still on makes you realize you have passed that stage.

What will make you feel younger is an older babe who has kept herself up, treats you like her son. But a sexual son that she lusts after you.

Plus an older babe will lust after you harder being younger and all.

A younger one can be a good deal but normally it is not.


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## MrsStudMuffin (May 11, 2014)

Brief update. Returned from the field Friday late. Mr. Muffin always picks me up at the airport and usually with a surprise of some kind. This time, sunflowers to celebrate the coming of summer. (One time it was a showgirl's headdress with huge red, white and blue feathers and sequins. He stood there wearing it as I came down the escalator and folks walked by wide-eyed.)

I've been taking his kindnesses for granted and perversely a kind of a weakness. 

We got home. Usually, I just collapse after the long flights, but tonight, I asked him about the Liberator. He'd put it in the closet and I asked him to get it out. I dragged him into the shower, we scrubbed up and this time the vanilla sex had some coconut oil and a few new positions. I'm working up to oral. Perhaps a couple glasses of wine will move things along. 

Thanks TAMMERS. Will keep you up to date.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Wow. That's great.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MrsStudMuffin said:


> Brief update. Returned from the field Friday late. Mr. Muffin always picks me up at the airport and usually with a surprise of some kind. This time, sunflowers to celebrate the coming of summer. (One time it was a showgirl's headdress with huge red, white and blue feathers and sequins. He stood there wearing it as I came down the escalator and folks walked by wide-eyed.)
> 
> I've been taking his kindnesses for granted and perversely a kind of a weakness.
> 
> ...


Sounds like a blast!


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I'd be willing to be he appreciates your efforts very much and undoubtedly will make him feel good about your relationship.


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## WillinTampa (Jun 18, 2014)

MrsStudMuffin said:


> So I was searching the web and looking for some answers to something that's bothering me and I found TAM: My dear hubby has suddenly become a health freak. And, he looks amazing...not just for his age, but any age.
> 
> A little background. I am 55 and he is 65. It's our second marriage each. He had a long and horrible marriage to an awful woman and stayed in it until the kids were gone. His own folks had gotten divorced when he was 14 and he had to become the "man of the family." Yes, he exhibits typical "Nice Guy" tendencies.
> 
> ...


This is great for me to read. I'm 56 and working out and gone low carb. It's great how exercise and diet can reverse aging effects.

However, I've been a little concerned that maybe at my age, I couldn't get the full effects of exercising. Its good to hear that your husband at 65 has done so well -- thanks for that.

BTW-- I'm an Engineer and --- NO--that doesn't mean we can't be sexy and romantic. 

I hate to say that as an older man, getting in shape does get some attention from younger women and it is a temptation. I guess muscles and grey at the temples is a turn on for some women.

But I like to think your husband (and I) have enough character and discipline to not stray. 

BUT--you should step up your game too -- for him and for yourself. 

_(And, you might want to rethink your ideas on sex. You can be more open to new things without getting into "gross" stuff.) _


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

WillinTampa said:


> This is great for me to read. I'm 56 and working out and gone low carb. It's great how exercise and diet can reverse aging effects.
> 
> However, I've been a little concerned that maybe at my age, I couldn't get the full effects of exercising. Its good to hear that your husband at 65 has done so well -- thanks for that.
> 
> ...


Here goes the deal with "low carb"...

It's great for stripping off excessive bodyfat. However I'm not sure it's a great long term diet plan.

Say you got down to an idealistic 7 or 8% body fat, you have abs, and musculature all over.

I don't think doing low carb would be wise at this point, it would be wiser to eat enough carbs for your energy needs.

Don't over consume carbs so that they don't get stored as fat.

Carbs are more efficient and powerful forms of energy. The problem is most people over consume for the amount of physical activity they put forward.

Just something to think about, and there is no real reason for someone to stay on "low carb" forever unless they are diabetic, and even then they would eat the forms of carbs that their body does not react incorrectly to.


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## SailBadTheSinner (Apr 7, 2014)

Dayam Woman! What a turnaround. If you can keep it up, I'm sure Mr. Studmuffin will keep it up too. And do get ye to the gym. You'll feel better and you two can do sly gropes and rubs to get yourselves in the mood when you come home. I'm printing out your story form Mrs. Sinner, not that she's not pretty awesome now, but everyone can learn. And, that's the point with oral....try it. You'll like it.


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