# My Husband Came Home at 5AM TODAY (Mother's Day)



## Newly (May 13, 2012)

I'm here because I REALLY NEED to vent  and I don't feel comfortable sharing this with my friends. 

Here Goes 
My husband came home today at 5am. REMINDER: Today is mother's day. He came in with a jewelry store bag, red eyes, and two cards. I went OFF!!!!!! Then I left to drive two hours to another state for grad classes (yes, classes on freaking mother's day-TODAY SUCKS!!!!! we only meet once a month) 

Background: I took my mother to dinner last night because it was her birthday. He did not want to come. It was okay with me because it turned into a "ladies" dinner. My brother did not even come. The only guy who was there was my much older cousin (almost 70) and he had his toddler grandson with him. Maybe he was looking for free sitter duties. 
I called MY so-called husband several times throughout the night to check in and his phone went directly to voicemail every time. I am thoroughly pissed. I don't know what to do. I ripped him a new BEHIND when he got home. 

Now: I am BEYOND ready to leave at this point. 

Other "things" he's doing: locked cell phone, not friends with me on fb, we don't go out much together anymore. 
He asked for a divorce last month, then HE decided to come back. After today I am seriously considering leaving this time around. Nothing says I don't love you like today. I just need to be careful and planned about it because he makes about 4 times more than what I make.

THOUGHTS ANYONE :scratchhead: :scratchhead: :scratchhead:


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Depends on whether you want to end it, fix it, or at least figure out for sure what`s wrong.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Newly said:


> Other "things" he's doing: locked cell phone, not friends with me on fb, we don't go out much together anymore.
> 
> He asked for a divorce last month, then HE decided to come back. After today I am seriously considering leaving this time around. Nothing says I don't love you like today. *I just need to be careful and planned about it because he makes about 4 times more than what I make*.
> 
> THOUGHTS ANYONE :scratchhead: :scratchhead: :scratchhead:


The financials, while important, should not determine your decision to end the marriage unless of course you don't have a job that can sustain you after the divorce. Is that the case?


----------



## Newly (May 13, 2012)

tacoma said:


> Depends on whether you want to end it, fix it, or at least figure out for sure what`s wrong.


I don't WANT to end it but, I don't want to sit around and be emotionally abused by anyone.


----------



## Newly (May 13, 2012)

You're right but, I don't want to go into financial ruin either.

Honestly, I don't WANT a divorce but, I just don't want to sit around while someone plays games with my life.


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

If you dont want a divorce, you have to find who he's seeing and expose it to her husband/bf.


----------



## Newly (May 13, 2012)

keko said:


> If you dont want a divorce, you have to find who he's seeing and expose it to her husband/bf.


That's a good point. I've heard that, that would stop it. I don't have a starting point though. I caught him using his phone and now he has three or four different lock codes on it. I have seriously considered getting a detective but, that is REALLY expensive. He is all over my finances. Suggestions???????


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Which brand phone? Can yoou see the bill?

Does he use emails as well?


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Put a key logger on your home PC.
This will give you all his online passwords.

Put a voice activated recorder under his car seat.
This will give you his side of any calls he makes in the car.

What kind of cell phone does he use?
It may be possible to retrieve his back ups without the pass code.
This will tell you who he has been texting.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My Husband has not said happy mothers day today and left first thing this morning with our girls, not even letting me see them or telling them to tell me happy mothers day. Last night he stayed at village inn until he finally came home at 2:30am. This morning he went out to breakfast with the girls without me.

Your not the only one having a horrible mothers day
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

blueskies30 said:


> My Husband has not said happy mothers day today and left first thing this morning with our girls, not even letting me see them or telling them to tell me happy mothers day. Last night he stayed at village inn until he finally came home at 2:30am. This morning he went out to breakfast with the girls without me.
> 
> Your not the only one having a horrible mothers day
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Moose Light Lime on ice - burgers and chicken on the barb and card on table when I woke up. Chasing little boys out back, teenage son coming home from lake soon. Daughter and grandson coming over soon. H and I struggle but he's trying. 
Wishing you ladies a better day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

morituri said:


> the financials, while important, should not determine your decision to end the marriage unless of course you don't have a job that can sustain you after the divorce. Is that the case?


it is my case, which plays a big factor, hope it is not for you...


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Newly, I'm very sorry you are going through this. I can remember when I was in that exact spot. It was beyond miserable! When my estranged husband came home after his all night orgies, he was beyond useless the entire next day. He was always hungover, occupying the entire couch, and completely uncommunicative with the children or me. It was pretty much like having a couch ornament for the day. Like you, I wanted the mess to stop. But, I was scared to death of the financial repercussions.

As things continued to worsen, I finally found the strength to file for divorce. I just prayed that I would find a way to survive financially. Sometimes one has to take that giant leap and have faith. Sure enough the judge made sure I'm financially provided for. Consult with a good attorney and see exactly where you stand.

Wishing you the very best!


----------



## Gemwas (Apr 26, 2012)

You and your state of mind, self esteem and your future is worth more than any financial gain from staying with someone who doesn't cherish you. Divorce and taking back your life sounds like a simple solution to a complicated problem, because it is.


----------



## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

I don't agree with exposing the relationship thinking your going to stop it that does not always work, sometimes it backfires in ways you couldn't possibly think. Sometimes it work sometimes it doesn't. But if you don't want to divorce as of now you should try to dinf out what is going on with him first.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

you can do all the things sugested but he sounds like an a$$.


I think you would be better off without him.

do you have kids? I guess so as you expected something for mothers day. That make it a more diffucult decision. If so then get your duck in a row before leaving/filing for divorce.


----------

