# Lies Told



## JustCan'tDeal (Feb 24, 2012)

First off, I just want to say that my husband and I are finally in a solid/real R :smthumbup: and things are going great so far!

Anyway, I was just sitting here thinking about all that has happened (and all that I have read) and there is something that I will NEVER understand. The lies my husband told his EA partner not only about us but about himself were disturbing to say the least. Now that I think about some of them though, I wonder how you can claim that you love someone and that they love you but you have no idea who the other person is!!! Talk about living in a fantasy. I just thought I would share some of the bigger lies he told her so feel free to share some of yours...or not!

1. He owns his own business (this is actually pretty funny considering he was actually on unemployment!!!)

2. He does not smoke (really? because actually he smokes like a chimney)

3. He is totally against drugs (again, funny coming from someone whom until VERY recently was an everyday MJ smoker)

There was of course more but these were the most just outright silly to me! At one point I actually said to him, wow she really had no idea who you really are did she?!?!


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

I think it's just all part of the fantasy. 

And the cheater has to paint the marriage black in order to soothe their own cognitive dissonance. 

The wife has to be evil and the marriage sucky in order for them to justify their sleazy behaviors. 

As for the lies. I think they tell the Affair partner what each wants to hear. 

The OW in my case was a gold digger, so my STBEH made her believe we were wealthier than we are. 

She in turn would pick up on things he said and mirror them back to him later. 

I pointed this out to him by showing him something he said 20 emails back and 20 email later she would mirror it back. 

She was very skilled at manipulating men and this mirroring made him feel as if she knew him so well. 

Later he saw those mirrorings as the manipulations they were.


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

Sara - could the OW in your story be a who*e from NJ too...or maybe they are all like that...so sad.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

LookingForTheSun said:


> Sara - could the OW in your story be a who*e from NJ too...or maybe they are all like that...so sad.


No, OW is not the 'ho in NJ. But yep, I think they are all like that.


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## Kathy Jackson (Aug 29, 2012)

I don't understand the stupid lies either. 

I found my husband's eharmony profile and it was filled with lies. 

He makes 85k a year as a butler (who can't even do laundry correctly?)...He's Jewish (when did that happen?)...no children (I guess the two running around here are imaginary?)...doesn't drink or smoke (even though he does both?)...

I think he described who he wants to be? Or something, I don't know...it is weird.


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## JustCan'tDeal (Feb 24, 2012)

Wow Kathy...a butler? really? Hahahaha now that is funny!


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

EX'S DATING PROFILE LIES:


He's a rich real estate broker and started his business from the ground up (news to me and I could use some of those Trump-like commissions tyvm!);
He lived in ___ (next town over);
Has a beautiful beach house - no, our family has a quaint little cottage on a weedy, mosquito-infested lake (still a nice cottage but far from a beach house!)
He's been with me for seven years (actually 9 but could be truthful since I do think he was faithful for the first seven);
I had an affair and this is the only way he can get over it (I've NEVER strayed);
He's a Pisces and one year younger than he is;
I just won't sleep with him anymore (this is now true  but wasn't then)
An honest to God, good-hearted Christian man who puts God above all....blah, blah, blah (I wonder if God told him to go online to look for intimate encounters?)
Doesn't have any kids but would like to some day (We have a son and I'm pregnant with another son - he's also a good father and very involved parent (despite a lack of integrity))


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