# Another Fight!!



## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

I am such a dummy!! The last couple of days I have been sick with strep throat and have been ill. My hubby just started a new job were he swings shifts and has been on thrid so I have been having to deal with being alone at night (I can't sleep with out him beside me) Any way yesterday was his day off and I called into work sick. His plans for his days off is to work at the shop on his racecar till I get home from work. I didn't go to work so I though he should stay with me alittle while because I am sick but no he continues with his plans to go work with his brother on the racecar. I got so mad at him that by the time he came back home we were talking about calling it quits he even went to get in his truck several times and I told him if he left that our marriage is over so he didn't leave he knows that drives me crazy and of course I used the cheater card to make my point that I was mad as hell he just took everything I said and really didn't comment back other than to say he is living with his mistake everyday and of course grabing his cloths and saying he was leaving. I hate we got into a fight I just didn't feel good and wanted him to baby me alittle while and he thinks I was fussing because he was working on his racecar(which has already a big problem between us before the EA)Now what do I do? Today he acts like nothing happen but I feel like I just lost all that I have worked on till now.:banghead:


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## prestonspinay (Mar 5, 2010)

Aww I hope you feel better, but OMG you remind me of me. My hubby and I had the same fight except he went to the range. I too yelled and told him that he was being selfish I told him to get the hell out and never comeback but instead he grabbed his stuff and slept in the guest bedroom. The next day he acted like nothing happened which bugged me. So I confronted him asking if he was mad about what happened he said he was. So we talked I told him that I just wanted his attention and he apologize for not understanding. Dont worry sweetie you will be okay. Get better!


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Did you tell him - I'm staying home for work because I still feel bad and I've missed you the last few weeks...would you mind staying home with me today? or did you expect him to read your mind?

I'm just curious because I can't tell from your post. Also - you need to be careful throwing the affair in his face unless he has done something directly related to it. Otherwise he will get sick of it and it will get old. Its not fair of you to do that to him.


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

No I didn't tell him to stay with me!! I guess because I baby him when he is sick I thought he should just do that for me. When I told him that he should have spent some time before leaving for the shop with me he said you just have strep throat and a head cold it's not like am dying or need to go to the er which didn't help.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

People can't read minds!! While I'll agree any sensible Hubby would have stayed home......maybe yours still needs some prodding.

Good luck!! I love staying home with my wife!! Of course I'm on the other side always trying to hit a home run!


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

This is an interesting thread. I'm really feeling it right now. 

Its not about his As anymore. Its about what was a problem before - but in a new light. 

My H has always been so selfish - and now he's back to that. Just in everything. Its why I ultimately started living like a solo person, because it was easier just co-existing, than having to dream about him meeting my needs (like God-forbid being 'pampered' as mentioned above). 

His only way of pampering is via sex or sexy comments. (His needs.) I pushed them away before (thus his blaming me for needing to find it elsewhere) so now I accept all of his sexy stuff - and keep it separate from MY needs. I used to think - don't give to me...I won't give to you. 

So here I am. Feeling like I'm the one giving all the time even though he's the one that had the multiple As. And he seems to mostly disregard my needs. 

Back to square one - almost. I actually think that HE thinks he is meeting my needs. Its just that he thinks my needs are the same as his!  

I think its interesting that we are posting this in the 'infidelity' section because of the As in our past. Perhaps we're at a loss as to how to deal with OTHER problems in fear of the As returning?

I'm going to really try to keep the As separate. Really try to find a way to communicate my needs more. Because yes, one's mind clearly cannot be read - even if we've known each other a quarter of a century. (?)

As long as I don't keep hostage the sexy part, I have to hope the close connection we've been working on will enable him to hear me better than in the past. 

Not sure why I'm posting all this. I guess... I'm trying to not bang my head on the wall. ?

I really got a lot out of reading the Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice stuff - google Love Busters. He's had tons of experience with infidelity counseling. 

Part of me is particularly bummed because while I succeeded in getting my H to read HIS NEEDS/HER NEEDS with me, he has completely procrastinated on the Love Busters stuff. I'm going to work on reading this part with him too - AND would suggest the same to you, mrsbroken.

Good luck. Hearing you big time.


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## sunrisehope (Mar 6, 2010)

I agree, Live and learn keep moving forward. Hope things turn out well.


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