# Bothered



## djrazr (Jul 8, 2018)

I'm in a situation right now, where my fiance took my 2 kids and has been absent for 6 days now. I tried calling, to check on my kids, but no answer. We got into a fight, because she keeps the kids away from me. Her teenager daughter who lives with her dad has issues. She didn't want to live with us, because i have rules, such as "you can't walk around the house with no bra in your panties", thinking it's ok, along with "clean up after yourself". Her teenage daughter is very destructive. She's been telling my kids to stay away from me, because i'm mean to her. My fiance of course, takes her side. This fight was pretty big, non violent, but she had the sheriff come over to help watch me, so she can grab all clothes etc...I didn't realize all my kids clothes were gone until today. How does that make me look in front of my kids that mom called the sheriff.

I dont know when they're coming back. I assume they are at their grandmas house, but i would think maybe they would miss me and want to call or come home. It makes me feel that stuff has been put in their heads to detour from me. My fiance wants me out of the house. I'm sure her daughter has a lot to do with it. I don't want to leave the house, because when the kids come back, they will feel that i abandoned them, and my fiance and her daughter would be like "see, told you". I want to be here for them, when they come home, but this is painful, and i'm not an emotional guy, but this is really bothering me. I feel that they have both turned my kids against me, and i keep asking myself these past 3 days, what am i living for?

If i cant see my kids, hold my kids, kiss my kids, and tell my kids i love them, what's the point of living? My kids are 5 and 6, boy and a girl, and i love them dearly, but their mom is keeping them away from me, using them as a weapon to hurt me. It's working. Normally, nothing bothers me, but just being at home and not seeing the kids. I am grateful, i did not marry this woman


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Not sure about what other issues there are, but you need to find a lawyer and get the police involved. This is not the sort of thing you should be getting advice from random strangers on the internet.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

If you are not a danger to your kids, you should immediately get an attorney and follow what they tell you to do. She can't just essentially kidnap your children and keep them from you with no reason (i.e. Valid restraining order)

I wouldn't leave my home, especially if you truly have done nothing wrong other than setting rules and an argument over a teenage step kid. Happens all the time in blended families.

Let us ask you this....if *she* came here to post about what happened, what would you guess *her* version of the story would be? That will help us to help you.

Whatever her version would be, that is what she is telling everyone else, including the sheriff. What did the cops tell you?
Sounds like a big mess.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Really pissy to take the kids like that and cut off contact. I don't see what choices you have in anything if you don't find out where they are located so that seems to be the first and primary course of action. Kind of difficult these days to just disappear.


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## djrazr (Jul 8, 2018)

Spicy said:


> If you are not a danger to your kids, you should immediately get an attorney and follow what they tell you to do. She can't just essentially kidnap your children and keep them from you with no reason (i.e. Valid restraining order)
> 
> I wouldn't leave my home, especially if you truly have done nothing wrong other than setting rules and an argument over a teenage step kid. Happens all the time in blended families.
> 
> ...


The Sheriff was a nice guy. He just had me sit and we talked sports. He didn't question anything, or took a report. He was there as a peacekeeper, so that she can pack up and leave. Didn't know the kids were going to be gone this long. There was nothing violent. She didn't press charges. It was just a bad argument and i got upset, which obviously scared her. Her daughter was telling her "lets go"


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Stop wasting time here. You should already had consulted a lawyer and/or informed the police about your children abduction. 

It gets me sometimes as to how a lot a men are so slow to react to this type of situations. And when they do, they do it so slovenly . 

Women on the other hand are a lot smarter, vicious and are a step ahead of these guys when it comes to this type of situations.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Lawyer first, Sheriffs Department second!

Those are your kids ~ not hers!*


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Your fiancé, who is not the kids mom (other than her own teen) took YOUR kids out of your home and disappeared? I'd get the authorities involved immediately and once you get your kids back I'd ghost this woman from your life forever.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Hang on hang on...I'm confused. Is your fiance the mother of the 5 and 6 year old?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I'm assuming your fiancee is NOT the mother of the younger two? If this is true, and she disappeared with the kids for 6 days and you don't know where they are, that's straight-up kidnapping. Where is the mother of the younger two, and what is her opinion that they have gone missing?

You said you're assuming they're at your fiancee's mother's house--why have you not called to find out? Why are you not moving heaven and earth to find out where your children are?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Ok, I re-read the OP, and it looks like the fiancee IS the mother of the two younger kids. 

Still begs the question, what have you done to find out where they are? You sound way more concerned about how this makes you look than you do about making sure your kids are ok. 

What was the fight about that caused all of this?


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

Okay...you are NOT slovenly, but you are brow beaten. I get it.. But now is the time to cowboy up and start owning this.

1. STOP calling her your fiance'. She Ain't. Not with crap like this...
2. Get with an attorney who can work with Dad's rights. You need access and she needs to obey the law.
3. Get with sheriff and document with attorney. Just in case! Yes....She could and would do anything to "get back at you."
4. Get anything of hers OUT OF YOUR PLACE. And make sure all finances are separate. DO NOT pay for her crap. PERIOD>

Start re-reading the 180 and No more Mr. Nice Guy...


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