# getting on my nerves right before wedding!!!!!!!!!!!



## beeberbean (Aug 19, 2010)

:scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:
well, i am getting married in 5 1/2 weeks and he is driving me nutts with everything. I am noticing how immature he is with everything and not responsible when it comes to...well anything. we went through his credit and it is bad of course becasue he said he rather do fun things with his money rather than pay his bills on time. there were things on there that he needs to dispute and he says he does not want to deal with it and just to let it go. but it is thousands of collections so of course i had to call and act as though i was him to make arrangments, he says well thats what i have u for. he moved in not too long ago becasue he had to leave his other house (moms actually) and i do everything. i am talking everything!!!!!! i have to pay his bills, manage his $$$, makehis phone calls, etc. before i started i noticed he had about 200-300 dollars of overdraft fees from the bank every month. 200 in late fees every month, his cell phone gets shut off every month and a few times he ran out of gas becasue he refused to fill putm ore than 5 dollars in at a time. 
is there anyone else out there that has delt with someone that just has no responsibilty and you guys have to habdle everything??


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I said this to someone else the other day... I didn't know 5-year olds were allowed to marry!

How old is he? If he is younger, I might be tempted to say that he can still mature, but is that really what you want... the next few years of this kind of crap?


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

beeberbean said:


> :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:
> well, i am getting married in 5 1/2 weeks and he is driving me nutts with everything. I am noticing how immature he is with everything and not responsible when it comes to...well anything. we went through his credit and it is bad of course becasue he said he rather do fun things with his money rather than pay his bills on time. there were things on there that he needs to dispute and he says he does not want to deal with it and just to let it go. but it is thousands of collections so of course i had to call and act as though i was him to make arrangments, he says well thats what i have u for. he moved in not too long ago becasue he had to leave his other house (moms actually) and i do everything. i am talking everything!!!!!! i have to pay his bills, manage his $$$, makehis phone calls, etc. before i started i noticed he had about 200-300 dollars of overdraft fees from the bank every month. 200 in late fees every month, his cell phone gets shut off every month and a few times he ran out of gas becasue he refused to fill putm ore than 5 dollars in at a time.
> is there anyone else out there that has delt with someone that just has no responsibilty and you guys have to habdle everything??


First, I'm not even sure how you managed to call and pretend you were him to make arrangements, but "of course" you did NOT have to do that. Why are you taking responsibility for his stuff? He's an adult, is he not? There are some situations in which it's appropriate to take over the finances for your partner. My boyfriend is a truck driver, about to go over the road again. I handle all of our finances and bills, because I am in one location and can do that all the time. He is constantly driving, never in the same place more than a few hours, and has enough to keep track of without adding in our bills or what our bank balance is. But...he is perfectly capable of handling our finances, we do this for convenience. 

If he can't handle his own money, you taking over isn't going to change that. In fact, it's likely to only make it worse. With you handling everything, he'll know nothing about the bills or the money, and he'll just go on spending as if nothing bad could happen. Make him deal with it himself. Make him control his own finances. I would not get a joint account. Or if you already have one, I'd get a separate one. Split the bills in half and make him pay you his half of them. Anything else he does, it's on him.


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## beeberbean (Aug 19, 2010)

well i was able to get away with calling as though i was him because hedoes not have a manly name. when ever i mention him or they call for him from collections or something they say mrs or her. so i got away with it. one of them i had to call for was from 4 years ago. he jsut wont deal with it. he is 27 years old and acts like he is 7 when it ocmes to finances. people try to say it wzs how he was raised because his family has never paid a bill as long as he can remember. they have relied on otherfmaily members or church to pay house and bills. every car they have had they have lost. they have also been drug addicts and alcoholcs and he never saw from anyone what is is like to be responbile


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## summer10 (Jul 15, 2010)

Sounds like a great deal for him and a really bad one for you. This is won't likely get better and you'll end up with some of his debt. I'd suggest putting the wedding off for a bit longer to be sure you are completely aware of the personality here and what this can mean long term. He'll wait, there's no one else who will pay his bills.


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## Chris H. (Jan 27, 2007)

The more you do for him, the more you will enable him to continue to be that way. I would say definitely pay your own bills and take care of the house bills if you want to stay with him, but don't take on his responsibilities. Don't get joint accounts either!


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

I would NOT get married to him until he grows up. You do not want to raise a little kid who also wants sex from you. This will be the single biggest mistake you'll ever make if you marry this guy in 5 weeks. And you'll regret it for a VERY long time.


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