# I am 26 and she is 38, is this age difference will create problem if i marry her...



## chabra (Nov 29, 2012)

I am 26 and she is 38, is this age difference will create problem after marriage..?


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Yep.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I'd say it likely will become a problem. How big of a problem is hard to say. I'm 44 and she is 50, I think we'll be able to deal with our issues, but 6 years is a lot less than 12.


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## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

Yes. Socially and in terms of having the same goals.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You're marrying a female. You will have problems. Your age difference will be the least of them.


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## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

What common goals do you have together? What are you hoping to build and achieve as a couple. Specific things, not like ie being together forever, kind of stuff.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I think stage of life is a bigger issue than chronological age. For instance if she's finished having kids and you're looking forward to it that's a huge issue. 

I would say if you're both in the same place and you can stand the scrutiny from outsiders then it can work.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Good answer MG.

It can work. The biggest AGE-RELATED issue I had w/ ex was we HATED each other's music. He was a huge Beatles fan and I was absolutely NOT. I liked pop music and he looked down his nose at it. There was a little crossover in 80s rock, 70s ballads so tried to compromise on road trips.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Yep. I wouldn't do it.



unbelievable said:


> You're marrying a female. You will have problems. Your age difference will be the least of them.


:lol:


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## UKLady63 (Nov 29, 2012)

When I started dating my hubby he was 19 and I was 33, and we're still together and happily married,,,so my personal exp has been that it's ot so much an age thing as it is a person thing,,,,Yes there have been challenges, I may have wanted to go out to a nice posh resteraunt, while he'd rather have gone thru the drive thru so he could get back home to his xbox,,,lol,,,but when u love somebody its about give and take,,,Age just like religion,social status, and a million others things can become an issue, but there's no rules that says it has to be. We've been married for 15yrs, he's 34 and I'm 49 and age just doesn't come up anymore.
Hope this was helpfull.....Good Luck...and remember that corny old saying "age aint nuttin but a number":smthumbup:


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Funny...I just got off the phone with my old college roomate who I haven't talked to in a year. He got divorced 6 years ago, met a woman 12 years younger than him (29 and 41) and married her. They're about to have their second child and he had a son from the first marriage and they're very happy.

My wife has a relative on her side that married a 40 year old man when she was in her early 20's. The family wasn't too happy about it but they're still together and from what I know, happily married (is that an oxymoron???).


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

IMO, it's the percentage difference that counts more than the years themselves. At 26 and 38 your life experiences and goals are going to be quite different and, IMO, it could take a lot of commitment to make things work.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

My wife was pre-menopausal at that age. Do you want children? ............Some times people want a much younger marriage partner to make them feel young again.So it may not be YOU she is in love with it might be your YOUTH. (just a thought)

Are you ready for a menopausal woman in a few years? while you are still young? My wife became mean and hard to get along with and she knew it,she wasn't herself.


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## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

My husband first wife was much older than him. He was your age when he married her.
She couldnt have children anymore, and back then he thought he was ok with it. Well, with time, he changed his mind. Her looks also went downhill, when he still looked very attractive. 
Fast forwarding some years, she had several strokes and become invalid. Everywhere they went, people thought she was his mother or grandmother. 
One day she decided to leave him because "he wasnt romantic, anymore".
Today, he has children of his own and is a lot more successful than he was before. He is also a lot happier (his words, not mine!).


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

well my wife is 35 i am 50 we have been married for 12 1/2 years if that helps we get along great and have similar interest. when we first started going out she was 21or so I was 38, I even mentioned our age difference and she didnt believe me so i showed her my drivers license lol she said she was ok with it as long as i was


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Good answer MG.
> 
> It can work. The biggest AGE-RELATED issue I had w/ ex was we HATED each other's music. He was a huge Beatles fan and I was absolutely NOT. I liked pop music and he looked down his nose at it. There was a little crossover in 80s rock, 70s ballads so tried to compromise on road trips.


So, you're saying he has taste in music and you don't?

:rofl:


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

For a man marrying a younger woman the formula for the youngest acceptable is half your age plus 8. As for men marrying cougars, I don't know of any formula. Yes, it's a double standard...but in my uneducated opinion it I think you're playing with fire. The shine is going to wear off pretty quickly.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

I had an GF that was 10 years older. The age difference wasn't an issue except for having kids. But it was other things. I do think though it's more about stages in life. A buddy of mine is always trying to get me to meet some girls at our local college. Some of those girls are absolutely beautiful, but i'm 29. What can look forward to with 18 to 21 year old girls?(besides the obvious) They are still in school, have not established themselves, still don't know who they are, have no money and some of them drink and party way too much which is something I never even did. We can't share similar things about our youth or life experiences. Some of the things they WILL do I've already done. So then I would just try to guide them to make the best decision I look like a daddy. No thanks to that. Of course there are exceptions.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> So, you're saying he has taste in music and you don't?
> 
> :rofl:


Man I would kill to find a woman my age who is as obsessed with 80's music as I am. And I don't mean 80's hair band. I mean Synth-pop and New Wave.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> Man I would kill to find a woman my age who is as obsessed with 80's music as I am. And I don't mean 80's hair band. I mean Synth-pop and New Wave.


Mrs P and I like many of the same bands, but she teases me that she got to many of them live while I was too young.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

My wife is 6 years older. I wouldn't do it again.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

dormant said:


> My wife is 6 years older. I wouldn't do it again.


How old are you now? Married how long?


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

The family aspect could be an issue now.. If you're both on same page about wanting/not wanting kids in future... then that might not be a problem.

But, IMO, I think the later years will make a difference. Especially when you hit mid-life crises. Imagine, Turning 50, wanting to "recapture" your youth feeling ... wanting to go back to how things were when you were 26... thinking about all the things that you missed at 26 because you got married...

Now imagine wanting to feel younger like you do now, but being married to a 62 yr old woman.?? My guess is, if you do make it & have a long term marriage, you'd have lots of problems when you get to mid 40's - 50's. Not saying you can't work through the problems... just thinking you're not going to WANT to work thru them at that point in your life.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> How old are you now? Married how long?


I'm 59 and she is 65. Married 14 years next April.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dormant said:


> My wife is 6 years older. I wouldn't do it again.


Yeah I read about your story though. I think it has more to do with your wife's prudishness about the topic of sex than the age gap. IMO.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> Yeah I read about your story though. I think it has more to do with your wife's prudishness about the topic of sex than the age gap. IMO.


That is probably true.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I married an older woman and I'm pretty happy. My wife is 11 months older than me. I don't hold it against her and I think she looks every bit as good as women my age.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I married an older woman and I'm pretty happy. My wife is 11 months older than me. I don't hold it against her and I think she looks every bit as good as women my age.


My wife is 10 months older than me. Next month she will turn 43 and I just turned 42. So for the next 10 months she'll be in her "mid-forties" and I'll still be in my "early-forties". :rofl:


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## ad-havoc (Nov 29, 2012)

the age difference is one of the courses of divorce since both of them will have different goals in life. Thus i will never dare to date someone 3 years older/younger than me


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

We need more information.

Is she a 38 yr. old Grandmother? Did she have a child at 19 who had a child at 19? 

Is she wealthy?

Is she fat? Because she may be pre or early menopausal & that usually adds 10-15 pounds of belly fat which is hard to lose.

Do your parents like her?


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Emerald said:


> We need more information.
> 
> Is she a 38 yr. old Grandmother? Did she have a child at 19 who had a child at 19?
> 
> ...


1) I don't get the significance of the grandmother question.

2) Wealthy.... are you asking if OP is a gold digger?

3)Does the fat factor really need questioned? He either likes her looks or he doesn't. Or... are you trying to warn him that if she isn't pre menopausal yet, that she will be gaining weight in the next few years?

4) FINALLY,... I agree with this question. It is something very much worth considering for the health of the relationship.
DO your parents like her/ get along with her?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Why would you go for a woman who is 12 years older than you?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

FalconKing said:


> I had an GF that was 10 years older. The age difference wasn't an issue except for having kids. But it was other things. I do think though it's more about stages in life. A buddy of mine is always trying to get me to meet some girls at our local college. Some of those girls are absolutely beautiful, but i'm 29. What can look forward to with 18 to 21 year old girls?(besides the obvious) They are still in school, have not established themselves, still don't know who they are, have no money and some of them drink and party way too much which is something I never even did. We can't share similar things about our youth or life experiences. Some of the things they WILL do I've already done. So then I would just try to guide them to make the best decision I look like a daddy. No thanks to that. Of course there are exceptions.


That is all about just hopping in the sack with a hot college girl. Not completely wrong if you are in between relationships.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

gbrad said:


> That is all about just hopping in the sack with a hot college girl. Not completely wrong if you are in between relationships.


True.
But there are enough young women making irresponsible decisions with their body without me contributing to it. I don't need sex friends. I need a damn woman


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

FalconKing said:


> True.
> But there are enough young women making irresponsible decisions with their body without me contributing to it. I don't need sex friends. I need a damn woman


If you have already had that fun in the past, then yes I can understand that. If not, then it is the time to take advantage. Some never had the chance at it.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

gbrad said:


> If you have already had that fun in the past, then yes I can understand that. If not, then it is the time to take advantage. Some never had the chance at it.


I had the chance to do that and then some. Not everybody wants to have sex without a sense of commitment gbrad man.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

FalconKing said:


> I had the chance to do that and then some. Not everybody wants to have sex without a sense of commitment gbrad man.


I don't mean the sex without the commitment, more the sex with a young hottie. Not everyone got a chance at much of that.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife is three years older than me.
When I was single I mostly dated women who were sometimes 12 years older than me.
Age is not really a huge problem if both are compatible.
That depends on their outlook on life.
Music , Career , hobbies, family, sex , commitment ec.
It all depends on the stage the two persons are in their own personal development.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

If I am ever in a position to be with someone different, I would not want someone who is much older, would prefer my age or younger.


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## keepmyfamily (Nov 16, 2012)

We have friends that have a big gap. Her: 44, Him: 29

While it seems they get along on the outside, they have a lot of underlying issues, this biggest being kids and maturity gaps.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

having come out of a fifteen year relationship with a younger man (almost a decade)
I can honestly say that the only one who had the issue was me-but it was on the rare occasion.

The age never really was an issue on the day to day. He was an old soul, even in music and his friends- I think he had only one friend his age the whole time we were together.

We tried to have babies. BUt lost five in total. It was a hard time but we just accepted that it was the way it was. He took on my three and while it lasted was a brilliant step dad.

He seriously seems like he is caught in the grips of some midlife transition. He's a different guy now. 


And-he left me almost four months ago for my brothers WW who is 34-three years younger than him. 

I guess my use by date was up. lol

Do I regret our fifteen years together-nope. Not at all. 

Do I want him back? Nope-not at all.

Some times-people change. True love is letting them go.

We did our time.

Was the age responsible as being a cofactor in our breakdown and his need for space.....maybe. WHo knows. 

It's just the way it is.

NO regrets.


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## LiveFastDieOld (Dec 1, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Why would you go for a woman who is 12 years older than you?


Maybe I should start my own thread, and perhaps I will, but I'll tell you why I did.

I was 16, and never been kissed. She was 28, attractive, confident and I suppose, looking for fun. Looking back now, it must have been quite out of character for her, as it's quite a step to take I guess.

Fast forward 22 years and 2 children, and I now fear we are in quite different places. Her - paint charts, cushions, curtains and soap operas. Me - live music, going out (although I rarely manage it) and, you guessed it, sex. I've also hot the gym recently, very successfully. Although I've never been refused in the bedroom as far I can remember, It's become quite infrequent and formulaic. I don't need to elaborate - I must have read it here a hundred times before joining up.

I think also her seniority also left me almost as a passenger in the relationship, something I'm resisting more and more now, which doesn't always go down well. I've not touched another woman, but I'll admit to having thought about it more and more recently.

Not really sure where I'm going with this, but thought I'd add in my experience so far.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

LiveFastDieOld said:


> I was 16, and never been kissed. She was 28, attractive, confident and I suppose, looking for fun.
> .


Your experience is something like mine.
I was 16 , had a bit of experience with girls, but no sex.
The first woman I had sex with was a 28 yrs old sex siren.
Every young man's fantasy.
We kept on having sex for some time, I thought I was in love, until I was " rudely awakened."
She was just looking for " fun on the side" and I never really meant anything to her beside good sex.
I ended the " relationship" by telling her " F - you."

However, in your situation, I don't think the problem is just her seniority. She is 50 , you are 38 and there are kids involved. Even if she was 38,there are still kids involved so your life would have _still_ been different .

IMO, the problem may be that she is in full control of the relationship and this may have left you with resentment.
If she's earning more than you,and she makes all the decisions about the house , kids and everything else, then you would feel like a passenger in the marriage.
Also you may be tempted to feel as though the " youthful" part of your life has been taken away by her, because she is the only woman you have been with since 17 years old.
I suspect that there are also other factors contributing to the lack of sex on her part and your part.
The age difference is no the biggest contributing factor.
You may need to do some reading.
Just my two cents.


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## sweaty teddy (Nov 13, 2012)

when your older and her health starts to fail.....or when she tired and you still want to live life.

12yrs is to big a gap for MOST men or women. thats my opinion.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Now that's a big gap alright, me, nope, that's too big a gap. I married 3 yrs older, and that's enough. Reminds me 8 yrs ago when I had sex with a woman 10 years my senior, and her son was only 5 years my junior!!!


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## changednow (Dec 2, 2012)

IMO it generally doesn't work out. My MIL married a man about 13 years younger and he ended up leaving her for a woman more his age. She had issues to begin with, so did he. But, I agree with the poster about the life experiences being different. I think there are few men out there that can deal with a woman more than a few years older. Age differences of more than 10 years hold special challanges, add that to the challange of sharing your life with someone in the everyday sense. Committment and dedication from both parties are the only way it can work.


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## LiveFastDieOld (Dec 1, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Your experience is something like mine.
> IMO, the problem may be that she is in full control of the relationship and this may have left you with resentment.
> If she's earning more than you,and she makes all the decisions about the house , kids and everything else, then you would feel like a passenger in the marriage.
> Also you may be tempted to feel as though the " youthful" part of your life has been taken away by her, because she is the only woman you have been with since 17 years old.
> I suspect that there are also other factors contributing to the lack of sex on her part and your part.


Very, very good. Nail - head. Couldn't have put it much better myself.

Do you have a crystal ball?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

A large age difference comes with issues - handling things as age takes its toll sooner on the older partner; how family and friends will react; dealing with kids; and other issues.
So if you proceed, it is best done facing all issues as best you can and doing o eyes wide open.
But there is no right answer except what works for the two of you. 
I am 28 years older than my wife. We've known each other 12.5 years, been together 2.5 years, married 1.5 years. I'm older than my mother-in-law and father-in-law. Issues? Yes. But we are happy and can't imagine life otherwise. 
Not for all. But do what works for you two.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I read something recently that relates here...

When men marry younger (7 years of more younger) women, they live longer, happier lives.

When women marry younger men (7 years of more younger), the women's life spans are shorter and their health deteriorates pretty quickly.

The reaons they attribute to this is that a younger woman will take care of her older husband.. he has a younger helpmate. Younger men do not takecare of their older wives very well... they do not nuture them in the way younger women nuture older spouses.

Statistically, her marrying you is a very bad idea for her.


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## jman (Jun 20, 2012)

my wife is 14 years older than I am; we share many things in common with one of them (exercise) bringing us together as we met at a gym

she acts younger than her age, I act older than my age, we meet in the middle and we are happy


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I'm 15 years older than my partner and had we met when we were younger, I doubt that either would of us would have been interested (I know I certainly wouldn't have been interested in a 25 year old when I was 40, for example!). However, we met in middle-age and neither of us notice the age difference. I've always taken care of myself, so when people meet us for the first time, the age difference isn't particularly apparent.


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## it is what it is (Jun 13, 2012)

Age is just a number IMO, it's how old you feel/act - my H is 9 years older than me, problem is he is 50 going on 65. I am 42 going on 30-35, I don't look or act my age, he looks and acts his age - big difference that way.


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