# How much Fraud is forgiveable



## wtyler (Jan 24, 2012)

:scratchhead:

I have been through this before however this time seems to be the straw that is breaking the camels back. My wife of 11 years has always had a hard time manageing money that is what most of our fights are about.
I am a small business owner and she works along side with me. She is great at the creative side of the business and great with our kids but had ruined her credit before we were married. 
For the past 3 months I had been taking care of my mother at her home, we recently lost her in December just after christmas. At which time I was obiously not at home to be able to follow up on what my wife was paying and not. I did commonly ask her if all the bills were paid. I always got the same answer yes, followed by me saying are you sure!! the response being yes everything is fine "don't you trust me".
Fast forward to when I arrived back home after my mothers death I found that my business loan was not paid for 2 months. Which I approached her about and she said that is incorecct the bank must have made a mistake " Which I had heard before". 
I took care of that problem and of course asked is there anything else that I need to know about, anything late??? she of course said no, I just made a mistake and forgot to pay the Loan. 
Fastforward to yesterday, I arrived at my home with my children and started to change for a Karate Class that I had when I heard a knock at the door, It was a process server with papers on the forclosure of my house. I contacted the bank and they told me that multiple letters and calls had been made to my wife and she had not remitted payment. To top off all of these problems my wife acts like I am wrong for questioning her every move from now on, asking to take over paying the bills and making sure that the money she had to pay the morgage gets back to my account so I can regulate the spending and take care of the forclosure. We have the money, Unless she just decided to take 15K out and just go to town while I was with my sick mother. I love my wife and I love my family but I really don't know how much more I can take or how much longer I can take this deception. To top everything else off she is now pregnant again.

Any thoughts or reccomendations would be great.


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## NoCode (Jan 23, 2012)

Ok, the way I see your situation is what’s done is done…can’t go back and undo it…the damage is there…all you can do now is set some boundaries with your wife…and take back control of the finances…some people just aren’t good at managing money…not that they’re bad, they just suck at it…

Going forward you’re in charge…get ALL your bills together and start making phone calls and see where you are with each bill (are you current or behind) and develop a plan of attack…you can still manage bills even away from home…it’s called online bill pay…most bills can be paperless, and emailed to you…even bill pay you can set up monthly payment plans…

If you’ve never heard of Dave Ramsey, look him up online and find a Financial Peace University in your area…sign you and your wife up for it…You both will learn how to pay off debt, get out and stay out of debt and how to budget money…

Regarding your house, call the lender, explain the situation, workout a deal…banks don’t want your house…it’s a pain in the a$$ for them…they’ll work with you…or should anyway…

Good luck…


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## NoCode (Jan 23, 2012)

wtyler said:


> To top everything else off she is now pregnant again.


Hopefully you know what causes pregnancies by now…lol…unless she duped you…by stopping her birth control or not tracking her cycle (which is possible, seems she can’t track the flow of money…)

Hang in there…finances can be stressful…make sure you are eating healthy, and exercising…both will keep your head clear and able to make good judgment calls…don’t make any rash decisions without thinking them through first…

Don’t play the blame game either…they were your bills too…lessons learned…don’t argue, discuss and don’t place the blame all on her…even if she screwed it up…

In other words, be a leader and lead…learn from this and move on…you will survive…


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

That's how fast banks move in the States now? From being in good standing to foreclosure in 3 months? And why aren't these things set to be automatically withdrawn?

C


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## wtyler (Jan 24, 2012)

In addition to my problems, She finally came clean that all the money got spent and she didn't want to worry me about the bills so she hid them and intercepted the calls while I was gone. So it seems the plot thickens and my wife is a liar on so many levels. She needs some sort of help, she still is telling me that it is no big deal that she lied. She Inflated our corperate records so I wouldn't notice. I am considering pressing charges at this point I feel like divorce at this point is inevitable. Sad thing is I will still be the one stuck holding the Bill.


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## NoCode (Jan 23, 2012)

Although your situation sucks, I really can’t see ALL the blame landing solely on your wife’s shoulders…especially when you admit in your opening post that your wife has a “hard time managing money” and had “ruined her credit before you were married”…

These are all red flags that point to the obvious…she doesn’t know how to budget or manage money…yet you gave her all the control of money management in your family and business finances??


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