# what do you love most about your spouse?



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Dh and I had a wonderful Valentine weekend (dinner out) intimate weekend, etc. 

When I ask him what he loves most about me, he says my nuturing, kind soul and how much I care about him and those I love. He loves my gentle spirit. . 

He will then say in his eyes I look like I did when we met and he finds me sexy. 

What do you love most about your spouse or s/o? After 20 yeas, do you feel physical attraction or spirtitual/emotional connection is more important?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Mrs. Conan's heart is priceless. She is incredibly generous and full of love.

She also makes me laugh harder than anyone I have ever met.

That's two at least. Sorry.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

That he is so easy to please, patient and laid back. That he loves my children and grandchildren as his own.
Physical attraction and spiritual and emotional connection are both important.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

My wife cooks pretty well.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Tight *****.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

It's been over 45 years including 44 years of marriage. When I think of her I feel like a line from Forrest Gump "This is my Julie." 

We have both put on age, but I love to look at her face to see that beautiful young woman I remember. Sometimes I look deeply into her eyes and tell her "I see you in there." Julie has physical issues so we haven't had intercourse in almost 25 years, but she is the woman who taught me how to make love rather than have sex and I fill with emotion when I hold her.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Julie's Husband said:


> It's been over 45 years including 44 years of marriage. When I think of her I feel like a line from Forrest Gump "This is my Julie."
> 
> We have both put on age, but I love to look at her face to see that beautiful young woman I remember. Sometimes I look deeply into her eyes and tell her "I see you in there." Julie has physical issues so we haven't had intercourse in almost 25 years, but she is the woman who taught me how to make love rather than have sex and I fill with emotion when I hold her.


"I see you in there," that is super sweet.


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## redmarshall (11 mo ago)

Well, I mean there are too many things to list. But after you've seen quite a bit of the world, you realize the monumental odds of landing up with a person who has a value system like your own, respects that, and you reciprocate. Finding a person you couldn't not have even designed for yourself in terms of suitability is what I love most about her. I'm incredibly grateful and humbled that I get to go on this journey with her. There is no other way to articulate it.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

She splits the bill 50/50 to remove any “expectations”.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

RebuildingMe said:


> She splits the bill 50/50 to remove any “expectations”.


At least she splits it.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Julie's Husband said:


> It's been over 45 years including 44 years of marriage. When I think of her I feel like a line from Forrest Gump "This is my Julie."
> 
> We have both put on age, but I love to look at her face to see that beautiful young woman I remember. Sometimes I look deeply into her eyes and tell her "I see you in there." Julie has physical issues so we haven't had intercourse in almost 25 years, but she is the woman who taught me how to make love rather than have sex and I fill with emotion when I hold her.


And that's the great thing in an ltr.

For us, I tell Dw that whenever I look at her I see her all at once, from the day we met and to the woman she is today. 

I'm 59, she's 60. We also live in the here and now with all the seasonings of life added, which just makes the meal sweeter. 

That's meaning through the peaks, valleys, surgeries, kids, grandkids, deaths, births; all the spices mixed in makes the pot just more spicy and sweet even in the simple things. 

She remains my hot tamale.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

My Beloved @Emerging Buddhist is a soldier at heart--committed, dedicated, faithful and true. You never saw a more loyal, or more manly, guy. He's strong, independent, fearless, courageous, disciplined...I could go on and on.

And yet, he reserves something for me and me alone. I'm not going to say what it is, because it's between us, but I know that I have been given the very rare gift of seeing HIM...his True Inner Man. 

So what do I love most about my spouse? I see HIM.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

I love how she is open to new ideas, doesn’t nag me. She lets me be myself and joins in to participate in my hobbies that she might not necessarily enjoy. She has a beautiful smile, heart of gold, dresses sexy, and has gorgeous ruby red hair. The sex is frequent and fantastic. 

I also love her big milk cannons 🤣. She will say baby can you go to the store and I might say I am tired. She will lift her shirt and lean over the recliner and say will you do it for them? I am like yeah baby! 🤣


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

I love her smile and how her excitement shows for the things many take for granted. 

When I am weary at the end of a day, her first kiss washes away the last remnants of stress that happened to cling unattended.

I love that together, there is no doubt we are truly one.


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## Parallax857 (May 15, 2012)

Julie's Husband said:


> It's been over 45 years including 44 years of marriage. When I think of her I feel like a line from Forrest Gump "This is my Julie."
> 
> We have both put on age, but I love to look at her face to see that beautiful young woman I remember. Sometimes I look deeply into her eyes and tell her "I see you in there." Julie has physical issues so we haven't had intercourse in almost 25 years, but she is the woman who taught me how to make love rather than have sex and I fill with emotion when I hold her.


So beautiful!


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## Parallax857 (May 15, 2012)

What can I say? I'm a twice divorced divorce attorney who had pretty much given up on marriage when I met my wife. Then we met and she truly had me from hello.

She is a jewel of a person. Truly one of the best people I've ever known. Kind, caring, empathetic, honest as the day is long. None of which means we don't sometimes hit tough spaces. All marriages include the reality of discord from time to time. But here's the kicker. She's so committed to getting through whatever comes between us and to leaving nothing unresolved that we just get to know each other better and better. We're more in love now than we were 11 years ago when we met and married. First thing in the morning on Valentine's Day, she told me how grateful she is to be married to me. I feel exactly the same way. She really is a jewel.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Parallax857 said:


> What can I say? I'm a twice divorced divorce attorney who had pretty much given up on marriage when I met my wife. Then we met and she truly had me from hello.
> 
> She is a jewel of a person. Truly one of the best people I've ever known. Kind, caring, empathetic, honest as the day is long. None of which means we don't sometimes hit tough spaces. All marriages include the reality of discord from time to time. But here's the kicker. She's so committed to getting through whatever comes between us and to leaving nothing unresolved that we just get to know each other better and better. We're more in love now than we were 11 years ago when we met and married. First thing in the morning on Valentine's Day, she told me how grateful she is to be married to me. I feel exactly the same way. She really is a jewel.


That is a really nice and inspiring story! Just when you think the game of love is lost in life, you catch a hail mary in the final seconds of the fourth quarter. 

I gotta ask though..... Did she give you a weird look when you first told her you were a divorce attorney? 🤣 If my wife were a divorce attorney, I would probably triple check my choice of words at times lol...... Baby its late, are you ok?.... I am not cheating! I swear! Track me on the three separate tracking devices I installed on my truck and go through my phone when I get home 🤣


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## Parallax857 (May 15, 2012)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> That is a really nice and inspiring story! Just when you think the game of love is lost in life, you catch a hail mary in the final seconds of the fourth quarter.
> 
> I gotta ask though..... Did she give you a weird look when you first told her you were a divorce attorney? 🤣 If my wife were a divorce attorney, I would probably triple check my choice of words at times lol...... Baby its late, are you ok?.... I am not cheating! I swear! Track me on the three separate tracking devices I installed on my truck and go through my phone when I get home 🤣


Final seconds of the 4th quarter? Hey dude, I was 47; not 87. 😁

A funny story she tells is how, after a few days, when it was obvious we were going to be together (because it was obvious -- we both knew within days), she said to me, "So, when are we getting married?" She said that I turned white. When she said she hadn't meant to shock me, I said, "Well, you have to understand I'm a twice-divorced divorce attorney." 

It was weird the way we did this because, having connected so deeply and quickly, there were many way we didn't know each other at the surface. The first year or two of our relationship involved a lot of getting to know each other in those surface ways but it wasn't hard because there was something much deeper holding us together. It's that deeper connection that helps us work through little things. She's taught me so much about gentle heart connection. I've taught her a lot about the kind of practical things I'm good with.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Parallax857 said:


> Final seconds of the 4th quarter? Hey dude, I was 47; not 87. 😁
> 
> A funny story she tells is how, after a few days, when it was obvious we were going to be together (because it was obvious -- we both knew within days), she said to me, "So, when are we getting married?" She said that I turned white. When she said she hadn't meant to shock me, I said, "Well, you have to understand I'm a twice-divorced divorce attorney."
> 
> It was weird the way we did this because, having connected so deeply and quickly, there were many way we didn't know each other at the surface. The first year or two of our relationship involved a lot of getting to know each other in those surface ways but it wasn't hard because there was something much deeper holding us together. It's that deeper connection that helps us work through little things. She's taught me so much about gentle heart connection. I've taught her a lot about the kind of practical things I'm good with.


I like your story but was laughing about the first part.🙂


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

This might sound weird but I can really name a specific thing. The only answer I can think of is everything. I can't actually think of anything I don't love about my wife. 

One thing that is unique actually. I love that on the outside she seems like an innocent proper lady, when in fact she has the dirtiest mind of any person I have ever met in my life. And I am the only person on earth that knows the full extent of her depravity.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

happyhusband0005 said:


> This might sound weird but I can really name a specific thing. The only answer I can think of is everything. I can't actually think of anything I don't love about my wife.
> 
> One thing that is unique actually. I love that on the outside she seems like an innocent proper lady, when in fact she has the dirtiest mind of any person I have ever met in my life. And I am the only person on earth that knows the full extent of her depravity.


My life in reverse. My wife knows all my dirt and just how warped I really am but loves me just the same.😉


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Parallax857 said:


> Final seconds of the 4th quarter? Hey dude, I was 47; not 87. 😁
> 
> A funny story she tells is how, after a few days, when it was obvious we were going to be together (because it was obvious -- we both knew within days), she said to me, "So, when are we getting married?" She said that I turned white. When she said she hadn't meant to shock me, I said, "Well, you have to understand I'm a twice-divorced divorce attorney."
> 
> It was weird the way we did this because, having connected so deeply and quickly, there were many way we didn't know each other at the surface. The first year or two of our relationship involved a lot of getting to know each other in those surface ways but it wasn't hard because there was something much deeper holding us together. It's that deeper connection that helps us work through little things. She's taught me so much about gentle heart connection. I've taught her a lot about the kind of practical things I'm good with.


That sounds a lot like how I felt.... After a few dates with my now wife of 14 years, I just knew I absolutely had someone who was special. We just clicked together and nothing seemed fake. Our first date actually lasted from noon to about 11pm that night. She was actually helping me with ideas for a birthday gift for my mom who she didn't know anything about.

I remember that night when the date finally ended. I asked, do you want a second date and she said absolutely! Would you like to go to the beach tomorrow? I of course said yes.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

ConanHub said:


> My life in reverse. My wife knows all my dirt and just how warped I really am but loves me just the same.😉


One thing I have learned in life? Never ever judge a person's sexuality or dirtyness by outward appearance!

That receptionist in a library who seems so sweet and innocent may very well be a escort at night with the skills of sucking a golf ball through a garden hose 🤣


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> My life in reverse. My wife knows all my dirt and just how warped I really am but loves me just the same.😉


It is the key predictor for a successful marriage, if they still love us knowing just how whacked out we really are it's just meant to be.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> My life in reverse. My wife knows all my dirt and just how warped I really am but loves me just the same.😉


Naww 🥰


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## ABiolarWife (8 mo ago)

Physically? I love his eyes. They are a mile deep and this beautiful grey green color. I adore the way he always shows his affection every day. And I love it when he makes me laugh. Which he does all the time. And I love the way he touches and looks at me, He has this look that I cannot explain but it melts my heart every time. I love the way his body feels next to mine, the way he runs his hands through my hair.

I just love him. All of him. He is my person. And I am lucky to share my life with him.


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## finnhilton111 (6 mo ago)

I don't have any partners currently, but I think loyalty is the key to success.


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## Parallax857 (May 15, 2012)

finnhilton111 said:


> I don't have any partners currently, but I think loyalty is the key to success.


Loyalty, yes. That's really the foundation for everything. People in any good marriage believe they have it. Which is what makes an affair so devastating. When one finds out his/her partner has been unfaithful, it's like discovering everything you thought you knew was a fraud. One feels such a fool. It's hard to recover from that breach of loyalty. And yet an affair is the one thing that good people will do to people they actually love. The sex impulse is so strong, or rather the impulse to get one's emotional needs met is so strong, that it can happen if those needs aren't met in the marriage. The person having the affair may try to compartmentalize it and keep the marriage going, or it may blow the whole thing up (for the perpetrator of the affair, unintentionally). It's a weird phenomenon. But it leads back to the necessity of addressing emotional issues in the relationship before the underlying unmet need becomes like a charge of dynamite just waiting to ignite.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

You know, I answered this in post #12 and all of that still rings true, but there were two things people wrote that I wanted to add to my discussion:


Julie's Husband said:


> We have both put on age...


 and that is one of the best ways I can think of to describe it. I look at his face and my face, and I know for a fact we have wrinkles and graying hair...but I see "his face" and not the age. In a strange way, I see the person he is in his heart, which is a cute, kind of crazy kid. Likewise in my heart I'm a cute, kind of crazy kid too. And it's as if the kids have put on some age like putting on a coat and hat from the attic. This is just so well said!



Parallax857 said:


> What can I say? I'm a twice divorced divorce attorney who had pretty much given up on marriage when I met my wife. Then we met and she truly had me from hello.


 and this one is also SUCH a good description. I have been cheated on and divorced, I was unfaithful to my second husband and he passed away...I had pretty much given up on marriage. Now don't get me wrong: I LOVE being married, loving and being loved, sharing life...but honestly I figured it would never be in my cards. When I divorced I thought "Who's gonna want a middle-aged single mom with two kids?" and you know who did? A single dad with five kids of his own! After I cheated I figured it would be like the Scarlet Letter forever, and instead my husband gave me the gift of recovering and learning the true meaning of marriage and commitment! Seriously, it was the kind of love that people "hope for" and that kind of thing doesn't strike twice, right? After he died, I just couldn't imagine marriage would ever be in my future. "Who's gonna want a divorced, formerly unfaithful widow?" Well, I'll tell ya who! A man who's been divorced a couple times who was working on becoming a better man and husband! A man who had his own children who wanted a person who would care for them like he did! A man who believed people could grow and change if they wanted it and did the work (which I did!). I had pretty much given up on love...and without love there wouldn't be a marriage. And then, we met and I saw a star shining from his heart.


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## finnhilton111 (6 mo ago)

Parallax857 said:


> Loyalty, yes. That's really the foundation for everything. People in any good marriage believe they have it. Which is what makes an affair so devastating. When one finds out his/her partner has been unfaithful, it's like discovering everything you thought you knew was a fraud. One feels such a fool. It's hard to recover from that breach of loyalty. And yet an affair is the one thing that good people will do to people they actually love. The sex impulse is so strong, or rather the impulse to get one's emotional needs met is so strong, that it can happen if those needs aren't met in the marriage. The person having the affair may try to compartmentalize it and keep the marriage going, or it may blow the whole thing up (for the perpetrator of the affair, unintentionally). It's a weird phenomenon. But it leads back to the necessity of addressing emotional issues in the relationship before the underlying unmet need becomes like a charge of dynamite just waiting to ignite.


For me,
In a relationship telling your partner, I trust you is more important than telling I love you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> One thing I have learned in life? Never ever judge a person's sexuality or dirtyness by outward appearance!
> 
> That receptionist in a library who seems so sweet and innocent may very well be a escort at night with the skills of sucking a golf ball through a garden hose 🤣


Here in cattle country, sparse golfers, we use the term suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

finnhilton111 said:


> For me,
> In a relationship telling your partner, I trust you is more important than telling I love you.


My wife held her grandfather in the utmost regard as he was the only man she trusted. He was honorable and cared for his family without fail.(she had worthless mom and her and 2 little brothers were basically raised by grandparents) She has put me into that category, even above him. She said now he has passed I am the only person she trusts completely and without reservation.

Even during sex, she has said, "I'll do whatever you want, I trust you"


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