# Third Strike??



## sunsetovernc (Jul 27, 2011)

My DH and I have been married for two years. This is my third marriage, his first. One month after we were married, he started calling a telephone 'date line'. Not leaving messages, just listening to them. But, he called the number several times a day and didn't stop until I confronted him on it a few months later (viewing the cell and home call history verified when the calls started). (He said that this was a habit he picked up through out the years he was single to get entertainment) He agreed to go to counseling and went to two sessions before declaring the doc a 'quack' and not going. Our marriage did improve, however, so I was completed shocked when in October of last year, I found out he was texting another woman. How did I find out? I was suspicious (again) and checked his phone one Saturday while he was outside. The reason I was suspicious is b/c he started having his phone on silent when he was home and keeping it in his pocket instead of leaving it out on the coffee table or the night stand. Anyway, I checked his phone and he'd texted her "Good Morning beautiful" and she'd replied that she was surprised to hear from him since she'd told him that the only thing they were doing that day was meeting. I also found where he'd sent her two picture mails (one of his face and one of the two of us with the message: me and my stupid wife in case your husband gets suspicious). At that time, we'd been fighting a lot about stupid stuff. Anyway, this time, I didn't bring up counseling and neither did he. It took several months b/f he told me he'd actually gotten her phone number from his sister instead of meeting her on myspace (which is what he'd initially told me). It took several months (almost a whole year since it is July now) for me to forgive and move on. However, low and behold, I found another picture mail he sent someone that was of his face with the message "this is me". He's been sexting this time, talking trash to other women through a program on his cell phone (Dating & Chat). This time, he is initiating the marriage therapy because he realizes he has a problem that needs to be addressed. I am going to participate because, frankly, I love him and want to make this work. But, I cannot live like this, constantly not knowing what he's doing, who he's texting, etc. He destroyed his phone after I caught him this past weekend and so he doesn't have a cell phone RIGHT NOW. But, there'll be a time in the future when he gets another one and then all my fears will come to the surface again. Am I destined to be a victim of a cheating spouse?


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

Get out while you can. He's a serial cheater and will always be one


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Destroying his phone means only one of two things. He either has substantial anger issues or there was something on there that he didn't want you to see so badly he destroyed the evidence to keep it from you. Neither is good. He doesn't sound like he's fully committed to your marriage.


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## sunsetovernc (Jul 27, 2011)

Well, I think he destroyed the phone (one) to keep him from being on it (two) because he thought it would make me happy (three) he was prolly still carrying on a convo with them. I know when this happened before, he changed his phone number and deleted her messages and her phone number so I wouldn't call her. I've always felt like there was something more to it than what DH has told me. But, it isn't like I'm psychic...I just have to take what he says as gospel.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Never take what a cheater says as gospel.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Has he given you access to his email and social media accounts? You don't have to take his word for it, he should give you the ability to verify what he tells you. It's what happens to you after you cheat on your spouse - I gave them to my wife willingly and encouraged her to check on me. There are many more things you can do such as voice activated recorders and key loggers if you deem appropriate. Do not accept what he tells you at face value.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

"me and my stupid wife in case your husband gets suspicious". Give him the freedom to do as his heart desires....without you of course.


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## sunsetovernc (Jul 27, 2011)

Thanks a whole bunch  I really appreciate the help!


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## marital_discord (Jul 29, 2011)

Do yourself a huge favor - leave him n-o-w!


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