# Newly married and he is apparently commuting fraud!?!



## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

I am married to a man who took out a business loan last year for close to 200k.

The bank approved him based upon the fact that he was employed with a salary position and this was going to be an added business.

He lied. He had already been told he was being fired. (We were still engaged when this happened and I didn’t realize this)

The loan was positioned so that he had to give receipts and invoices for all of the money he received. It was not given in one lump sum.

He told me that he wanted me to invoice him for my own line of work (advertising) and he would get about 15k for this. 

When I got the money from his bank, after giving the bank my invoice, he demanded I give him the money ASAP. He said you REALLY think I was going to pay my WIFE to do this? Are you kidding me!? 

He said it was critical to paying his bills because he wasn’t making any money.

The loan officer had no idea that I was his wife, so I emailed him and asked him what to do if his client (my husband( requested a refund. I asked if I refund HIM or the BANK?
 The banker said I could refund him…if that were to arise, but hoped it didn’t.

So, I did it. After my husband said he would not see me as a good teammate if I couldn’t understand that 1) it was totally legal and NOT a concern since it was HIS APPROVED loan anyway…. 2) I can’t be a teammate and trust him…

I worried about this quietly for a couple of weeks and then I saw him going to APPLE and buying computers… getting reimbursed and then returning them. 

I called a lawyer and he told me that this is very problematic. So, I told my husband that I talked to a lawyer and that what he did was illegal. He said NO! He said he asked if this was okay with the bank and they said it was fine to do… not a problem. He simply had a change of heart and he can do whatever he pleases with the money.

I called the lawyer back secretly and he told me that I could easily get in trouble - if I don’t do everything I can to protect myself. He said it’ possible that it will never be found out. But, if THEY find out first — without me coming forward about what has transpired — I could be held accountable for conspiracy for committing bank fraud.

My husband told me that lawyers say that so they can make money and I need to stop “framing him” and “scaring him” about my lack of trust in him. That he sleeps fine at night over this and the only problem he has is worrying when I’m going to try to ruin him and frame him.

He then said just so you know…when someone comes at me with a spade —I come back with a machete…I don’t take things laying down. So, just know that.

I am asking here — not the legal question — but just the overall WTF do I do question.

Would you turn your spouse in? To save yourself?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Hellorhigh said:


> I am married to a man who took out a business loan last year for close to 200k.
> 
> The bank approved him based upon the fact that he was employed with a salary position and this was going to be an added business.
> 
> ...


You are guilty of committing fraud,before,during and after the fact.And you will find it very difficult to convince anyone in law enforcement that you never got the money.
His comments about the machete are very worrying and I would take it as a direct threat.
You need to ask yourself this,if you weren't married to him and he asked you to make out this illegal invoice,then made the threat about the machete what would you do.
And do it.


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

I have the bank statements. I gave it to the lawyer showing that I gave the money to him immediately. 

And thanks to my lawyer advice I have him recorded on the call where he mentions the spade/machete


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Is he not working again yet? How does he plan on paying back the loan?

I don't know if I would turn him in through the irresponsibility would be enough for me to separate. I'd ask the lawyer if separating would release you from any accountability if he gets caught


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

Separating would not release me. No. 

And yes he is running his business but it's not going well at all.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

The spade vs machete statement is a nasty threat and no way to talk to a spouse. Even setting aside fraud and irresponsibility, that alone is grounds for separation. I wouldn't recommend any woman sleep in the same bed with a man who likened himself to a machete ready to be taken to a spouse.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Hellorhigh said:


> Separating would not release me. No.
> 
> And yes he is running his business but it's not going well at all.


You don't say where you are but you will probably be liable for income tax on this money and here's the rub.
You MAY be guilty of tax fraud for declaring income you didn't receive and if you pay tax on it you are basically admitting to receiving the money.You need to cover your ass here and I have a sneaky suspicion this is not his first time at this scam.Has he been declared bankrupt before?


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

Well he will say "I didn't threaten you". I said I didn't like that and he said it was just his way of telling me that I shouldn't threaten him and that anyone who comes after him will pay for it. 

He said If I try to harm him..I should be warned.


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

No. He says that since it was a refund I don't have to pay taxes and he doesn't either since it's loan money. 

And no he has never been bankrupt.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is your husband earning any money at all with this business of his? Or is he just laundering bank money?

You are legally liable for your own actions, not his. 

The lawyer told you that what you did was fraud on your part, check with a second and third lawyer just to verify. And don't ever do it again.

Is your husband's company a sole proprietorship? Or an LLC? or S-Corp? or C-Corp? It sounds like whatever the legal structure of his 'business' he had to personally quarantee the loan. So he is personally responsible to pay it off. That means that you, his wife, is also personally responsible to pay it off. 

How is he going to pay off this loan without any income? My bet is that he is not and you are going to have to pay it off.

Do the two of you keep all your bills separate and all your income separate? If so why? This is one of major problems with keeping finances separate in marriage. By law, your finances are not separate. He should have never taken out a loan withyout your 100% agreement.

He has threatened you: "when someone comes at me with a spade —I come back with a machete".

ALWAYS BELIEVE THREATS LIKE THIS.

If you were my daughter I would tell you to leave right now and divorce this man for your own safety. He's physically threatened you. He is also materially threatening you financially and getting you involved in an illegal money scam.


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## a_mister (Aug 23, 2017)

Your husband is obviously unstable, financially and mentally.

Probably time to go.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

File for divorce. NOW.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Then I would separate first and then turn him in. He could be dangerous and I'd want to be away from him before you call it in.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Ask yourself... "Is the ****ing I'm getting worth the ****ing I'm taking?"

Only you can answer it.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Hellorhigh said:


> Well he will say "I didn't threaten you". I said I didn't like that and he said it was just his way of telling me that I shouldn't threaten him and that anyone who comes after him will pay for it.
> 
> He said If I try to harm him..I should be warned.


It's still a threat, plain and simple, and an ugly, violent one at that. These are not words you use with a spouse under any circumstances. There's no whitewashing this.

Think about this. You do something that you don't think is threatening, but he perceives it as a threat--what happens then? As you say, you've been warned, so in his mind, he's justified in going machete on you at this point. It doesn't have to be real, he just has to think of it as such. His words already indicate he will interpret things differently from you, so there's really no comfort in him saying _IF _you harm him--he will see harm at some point even if it doesn't exist or if you never intended such.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hellorhigh said:


> Well he will say "I didn't threaten you". I said I didn't like that and he said it was just his way of telling me that I shouldn't threaten him and that anyone who comes after him will pay for it.
> 
> He said If I try to harm him..I should be warned.


Please re-read what you wrote here over and over till it sinks in.

First he threatens you _"when someone comes at me with a spade —I come back with a machete"_

Then he says that he did not threaten you: _"I didn't threaten you"_

And then he restates the threat: _"anyone who comes after him will pay for it"_

His denial of threatening you over ridden by this second threat.

Your husband thinks you are stupid. You are clearly not a stupid woman. You know there is a huge problem here. Protect yourself. 

Ask your lawyer what to do and do it. If the lawyer tells you to inform the bank than do so. Do what you need to do to protect yourself.

If you don't you will be paying back that loan yourself because your husband does not have a job. Do you have an extra $15K laying around to pay it?

Why was your husband let go from his job? How long had he worked there?


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

Well he has a business and he is earning. But the profit is only about 1-2k after expenses per month. 

He believes that it will turn around but he is already throwing the bankruptcy word out for his business


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hellorhigh said:


> Separating would not release me. No.
> 
> And yes he is running his business but it's not going well at all.


What does separating not release you from?

Check with another lawyer to get a second opinion. There is something called the 'innocent spouse' plea. I think that you are clearly an 'innocent spouse' in this situation.

Separating might not release you from any liability you have for the one transaction that you did. But it will most likely release you from any further actions of his.

Leave him and file for divorce.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hellorhigh said:


> Well he has a business and he is earning. But the profit is only about 1-2k after expenses per month.
> 
> He believes that it will turn around but he is already throwing the bankruptcy word out for his business


Since I don't know the legal structure of the business, I don't know if that means personal bankruptcy or business only bankruptcy.

But, it sounds like the loan was made to him personally, or that he had to personally guarantee it. So he would have to go personally bankrupt. And if he does, so do you.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Get a divorce lawyer. In the meantime, sleep with one eye open. I am sorry to say, you married a criminal.

ETA: if I knew for a fact that I would be at fault for his criminal activities, and if reporting him would absolve me in the eyes of the law, then I would seriously think about reporting him. However, if that would not be the case, I would not report him and do my best to never ever come across his path again.


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## a_mister (Aug 23, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Check with another lawyer to get a second opinion. There is something called the 'innocent spouse' plea. I think that you are clearly an 'innocent spouse' in this situation.


Since she created documents to help him get funds released, she's not quite "innocent" here. However, she can be ignorant: after all, the money had to go back. She should talk to her lawyer - and not anyone else, certainly not the bank - about the possibility of presenting it as what she believed to be a sincere business agreement that she had to reverse when it turned out he didn't really want the advertising services. If she was of an innocent mind until she found out about this, that might put her in a better position.

The loan itself might be a mixed bag, but falsifying a business record is definitely a crime in many jurisdictions.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Leaving him and reporting him now is her best chance to get out of any trouble. Her lawyer can show that she is cooperating once she learned what happened. It's unlikely they would try to charge her. 

Staying can end up as a nightmare. Her own business could be in danger.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

hellorhigh,

What I suspect is that the man is a sociopath and/or a narcissist, and will use you until he has destroyed everything in your life. Although this man can also be the most charming person on earth until you say no to him.

Every failure will be blamed on you and you will end up enslaved to this man.

Get out now and get out completely, do not allow him to ever contact you again.

Present your fraud case to the police or DA.

Tamat


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

Part of me wants to report him to the FBI to not only protect myself but also to assure I will be forced to stay away from him. 

He told me today that he is scared of me and what I might be "framing him" for ...



TAMAT said:


> hellorhigh,
> 
> What I suspect is that the man is a sociopath and/or a narcissist, and will use you until he has destroyed everything in your life. Although this man can also be the most charming person on earth until you say no to him.
> 
> ...


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

This loan was on his business name and he says he would have to file biz bankruptcy but his office lease is on his name. 

But I believe he uses his house as a personal guarantee. 


Elegirl. You know your stuff! 


EleGirl said:


> Since I don't know the legal structure of the business, I don't know if that means personal bankruptcy or business only bankruptcy.
> 
> But, it sounds like the loan was made to him personally, or that he had to personally guarantee it. So he would have to go personally bankrupt. And if he does, so do you.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

You should be worried, financially, legally and physically. You are married to a man who feels OK about circumventing the law, and he's OK dragging his dearly beloved into the mess, and he has no reservations about tossing threats out there. People like that can't be trusted, and money makes people do crazy things. If he is worried that you are "framing him" you better sleep with a gun, or somewhere other than with him.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You definitely need to act now. You could end up being responsible for the whole 200k debt as well as facing criminal charges.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Hellorhigh said:


> Well he will say "I didn't threaten you". I said I didn't like that and he said it was just his way of telling me that I shouldn't threaten him and that anyone who comes after him will pay for it.
> 
> He said If I try to harm him..I should be warned.


All you'd have to say in court is "I was in fear for my life."


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Hellorhigh said:


> Part of me wants to report him to the FBI to not only protect myself but also to assure I will be forced to stay away from him.
> 
> He told me today that he is scared of me and what I might be "framing him" for ...


He's paranoid and dangerous. Horrible combination for you. Not just violence scary(not like that isn't bad) but he will try to take you down with him or throw you under the bus. 

Yes, report him. Can you get away first?


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

I can. I told myself I would leave today. But, I didn't. 

I lost my nerve this morning. It's why I came here to this site. I wanted to know if others would do what the lawyer suggested. 

It's hard. 3 years of my life with him. What a failure. 

And to just disappear? Never speak to him again? I tried to imagine it. I couldn't even sleep I was so anxious about the pain this will cause. 

This forum has helped me balance that with the pain of possibly having criminal charges! 

Literally at lunch he joked about it. He was talking about something unethical and then said "and YOU think it's so bad that I got money back from MY own loan! You are insane with your stories. You are [email protected]


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Hellorhigh said:


> I can. I told myself I would leave today. But, I didn't.
> 
> I lost my nerve this morning. It's why I came here to this site. I wanted to know if others would do what the lawyer suggested.
> 
> ...


Except it is not HIS loan. It is his BUSINESS' loan. Whole different set of laws, and he is breaking them. Big time. Jail time.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Hellorhigh Fraud Squad. And get your lawyer to arrange police protection.


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

Knowing his luck, I'll go to Feds with my lawyer. He won't get anything and will end up with a successful business and a younger hotter woman. 

It sucks. He seems to always have the luck. This is why he thinks he is invincible. 





samyeagar said:


> Except it is not HIS loan. It is his BUSINESS' loan. Whole different set of laws, and he is breaking them. Big time. Jail time.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I wouldn't be worried about what type of woman he is with next, and be happy you got away from this guy.


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

He had me convinced that I am the paranoid one and that he is completely legit. 

Someone told me that even the biggest frauds are charming and good looking. They don't seem evil. 

What's interesting is he loves that show GREED. He talks about how awful these people are...




Lostme said:


> I wouldn't be worried about what type of woman he is with next, and be happy you got away from this guy.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Hellorhigh said:


> Knowing his luck, I'll go to Feds with my lawyer. He won't get anything and will end up with a successful business and a younger hotter woman.
> 
> It sucks. He seems to always have the luck. This is why he thinks he is invincible.


They always get it at some point. Can't run on luck forever, it'll catch up to him. And you'd be stuck with half the debt, half the problems and could possibly seize your business too if you stayed. 

Meh to younger and hotter. By leaving you're smarter and protecting yourself so your next guy gets the best of you


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## a_mister (Aug 23, 2017)

Hellorhigh said:


> It sucks. He seems to always have the luck. This is why he thinks he is invincible.


He only looks like he has the luck because he has himself convinced that he is invincible and conceals all his failures. I promise.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

You made a huge mistake marrying this manipulative criminal and should immediately file for divorce. Then talk to the authorities. If you stay, this "man" will ruin you. Whatever you do, do NOT have a child with this snake...ever.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

What is his dating and marriage history, I would not be surprised if he has painted them as cheaters and abusers.

But the truth is whatever happened to them will happen to you.

Tamat


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

He is saying that you are framing him, but I think he is telling you what is in his mind. He is likely framing you. I also think you are in danger. Does he have a life insurance policy out on you? I recommend that you get away from him, file for divorce immediately, and have your attorney work a deal to get you to safety. If possible, don't tell him where you are going. He has a lot to gain if you die. I know this sounds alarmist, but this man is scary. He is not who you thought he was. You have been deceived so he could use you.


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## Hellorhigh (Sep 7, 2017)

No no life insurance policies for him. I haven't even gotten my policy renewed tbh. 

I don't think he wants me dead. He just wants to control me. 


]QUOTE=CynthiaDe;18386329]He is saying that you are framing him, but I think he is telling you what is in his mind. He is likely framing you. I also think you are in danger. Does he have a life insurance policy out on you? I recommend that you get away from him, file for divorce immediately, and have your attorney work a deal to get you to safety. If possible, don't tell him where you are going. He has a lot to gain if you die. I know this sounds alarmist, but this man is scary. He is not who you thought he was. You have been deceived so he could use you.[/QUOTE]


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Hellorhigh said:


> No no life insurance policies for him. I haven't even gotten my policy renewed tbh.
> 
> I don't think he wants me dead. He just wants to control me.


This man is not who you thought he was. Don't be too quick to decide that you are better to him alive than dead. I'm terribly sorry that this is happening to you and hope that you are safe. Please get away from him, so that you will be safe. Maybe I've watched too many cold case files episodes, but this kind of thing does happen to people and it's not something to minimize. Better to overact to some things than to under react and end up dead or in jail for someone else's crime.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Hellorhigh said:


> I am married to a man who took out a business loan last year for close to 200k.
> 
> The bank approved him based upon the fact that he was employed with a salary position and this was going to be an added business.
> 
> ...


Talk to a lawyer like yesterday. I believe you can avoid his debt if you annul the marriage but I am not sure. Seriously you married a sociopath, but at least it is right at the beginning. Run like the wind!


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Hellorhigh said:


> I can. I told myself I would leave today. But, I didn't.
> 
> I lost my nerve this morning. It's why I came here to this site. I wanted to know if others would do what the lawyer suggested.
> 
> It's hard. 3 years of my life with him. What a failure.


G-dammit lady 3 years is much better then a lifetime. Almost everyone has a person they had a relationship with who turned out to be a fraud. Unfortunately you married yours, but thank God you figured it out only at the 3 year mark. No kids too? You're luckier than many people who post on here. 

But, BUT, you are in danger as long as you stay. Emotional, financial, possibly criminal and even physical danger. The sooner you get out and get a hold of this situation the better chance you will have. Again 3 years or 3 years in prison, or how about dead? Your choice.


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## xxxSHxYZxxx (Apr 1, 2013)

In your case. Absolutely ans divorce his ***** ass. Your husband is a ****tard

Sent from my SM-G928T using Tapatalk


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