# Negative feelings around Breasts



## pulse (Mar 24, 2010)

At some point, many women get self conscious/negative about their breasts - we might worry that they are too big, too small, too low, too high, etc etc etc. Even if we were once happy with them, at certain times (e.g. puberty, during pregnancy or childbirth, menopause) they change and we need to get used to their new form.

We might also worry that we don't compare well with other women and that our men are looking at celebrities or porn stars and finding us wanting. 

Please be assured that the photos in the link below are NOT at all pornographic in nature. It's made me realise that we're all different, we're all normal and we're all great!:smthumbup:

So ladies, and men too, take a look at the link below which shows natural breasts in all shapes and sizes, and at different stages in our lives. 

I'd be interested to hear women's views on their own breasts and men's views on their partner's breasts and if that view changes at all having looked at the link. NB: regarding the link, scroll down the page, and click on the numbered buttons for more pictures of natural breasts at different life stages. 

Again, it's NOT pornographic!

Normal Breasts Gallery, part 1 - pictures of different size and shape breasts. Women who have not been pregnant.


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## pinkprincess (Jun 10, 2008)

what an interesting site... i hate my breasts but am slighlty happia now


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Is that something all women have an issue with (like most guys with their penis)? No woman i've ever been with was happy with her breasts. My wife especially since she's had kids. She hates they aren't perky anymore and hates that she can see veins in them. I keep telling her and telling her that they are the most gorgeous pair of breasts in the world. She smiles and that comment is usually followed up by her telling me "Maybe so, maybe not but your penis is still ugly as hell".  While honestly they aren't; that doesn't matter to me. Those breasts happen to be attached to my wife which by proxy makes them perfect to me. 

Frankly with most guys we just care they are there. Big, small, perky, saggy we love 'em all. While I know some men prefer different sizes, I don't know of any guy that I know that would turn down a woman because she had "ugly" breasts.

As a comedian once said "I think of breasts and sex kind of like pizza. Even when it's not the best, it's still pizza!!"


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## pulse (Mar 24, 2010)

I was an early developer and at school was always having to be careful not to let my bra strap show as none of the other girls needed to wear bras. I can remember being really cross with my mom as she insisted that for the size I was a bra was a necessity. Looking back I wasn't that big - it was more the fact that everyone else was flat chested and I didn't want to be different. 

During my later teenage years I felt they were just regular breasts (great) and never really gave them much though in either a negative or positive way. However in my early twenties suddenly big breasts became very fashionable/popular, and ads started appearing with scantily clad big chested women selling everything from peanuts to cars! Gradually I started to feel self conscious about my breasts and that they were way too small. 

After I stopped breastfeeding my first child I got yet more self conscious about my breasts - they just weren't the same any more and I felt my clothes didn't look right. I wasn't brave enough to risk a boob job but I often thought about it though. 

Fast forward to today - I would say I am reasonably happy with my breasts. I still wouldn't mind being a cup size or two larger but in terms of the shape I think they look good, especially considering I've breastfed 3 babies for up to 10 months at a time. I like the direction they point in, the shape and size of the nipples. In the mirror, in the buff, if my posture is right I really think they are more than acceptable and I'm so much happier with them now than how they were after the first bout of breastfeeding. I'm glad I didn't give in to the temptation of not breastfeeding my subsequent children because it seems to have improved them. Whilst I know they are not my idea of perfect I now try to focus on the things I do like about them rather than the things I don't. Looking at the link above has made me feel much more comfortable about them too. They're unique and normal at the same time.

As for my hubby, whilst he pays them alot of attention, he has never really verbalised what he thinks of my breasts and I've always been too afraid to ask in case he might say something which, in my still somewhat fragile mind, I might take the wrong way and turn into a negative. I don't think he would knowingly put them down. I'm not quite there yet but confidence is key!


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## pulse (Mar 24, 2010)

Crypsys said:


> "I keep telling her and telling her that they are the most gorgeous pair of breasts in the world. She smiles and that comment is usually followed up by her telling me "Maybe so, maybe not but your penis is still ugly as hell".  While honestly they aren't; that doesn't matter to me. Those breasts happen to be attached to my wife which by proxy makes them perfect to me."
> 
> I'm sure you wife loves that you desire and enjoy them and more importantly that you FOR YOU they are the best.
> 
> ...


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

pulse said:


> I'm sure you wife loves that you desire and enjoy them and more importantly that you FOR YOU they are the best. I'm a bit different to your wife in that I've never divulged my negative feelings about my breasts to my husband. It's good that she feels secure and close enough to let you know what she honestly thinks of them.


Have you tried to talk to him and he just doesn't listen? Or are you yourself afraid to talk about it for fear of rejection, etc? 



pulse said:


> Remember, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I read somewhere that an "ugly" person with a positive attitude is FAR more appealing than a "beautiful" person with a negative attitude. You don't say why you hate your breasts but could you maybe try and find at least one thing about them which is reasonably okay and focus on that to begin with.


That is 100% true from this mans perspective! There is a lady in our Zumba class who physically would be rated "normal" to maybe just below normal. But yet in class all of the guys talk to her and she never seems to have a problem getting our attention. My wife asked me about it once, why when there were much "prettier" women did she get more attention? I told her to look at the expressions on her face and her body language. She holds her head up high, looks you in the eye and smiles with her whole body. She may not be the "prettiest" woman on the dance floor but she makes up for it through her confidence. A woman who is "normal" and is confident and feels sexy herself is 10X more attractive than a "prettier" woman who lacks confidence and is upset with her body...


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## pulse (Mar 24, 2010)

Crypsys said:


> Have you tried to talk to him and he just doesn't listen? Or are you yourself afraid to talk about it for fear of rejection, etc?
> 
> If I say something negative about my breasts to him I will be hoping that he would reply something like "hey, there not ......., there wonderful" but if he didn't and instead agreed with my negative statement, or if he didn't comment at all, I'd be crushed and so better for me not to go there, I think. So yes, I do fear rejection.
> 
> ...


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

ive always liked my breasts mostly because guys seem to always like them. even with my H i have to make them off limits because that's all he pays attention to. they are starting to get a little too large, though, since i havent been working out. but i still like them. although sometimes i will wear big shirts because i dont like the attention. 

my older sister was thinking of getting breast implants after she found out her husband was watching porn of big breasted women. my sister is tiny. so she's unhappy with her body now which is really tragic because i think she's beautiful.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

Blanca said:


> my older sister was thinking of getting breast implants after she found out her husband was watching porn of big breasted women. my sister is tiny. so she's unhappy with her body now which is really tragic because i think she's beautiful.


Maybe get your sister and/or her husband to look at the link. I wonder if he is he aware how his viewing habits are affecting his wife and how he would feel if he thought his wife was looking at/comparing his privates to more well endowed men?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Advocado said:


> Maybe get your sister and/or her husband to look at the link. I wonder if he is he aware how his viewing habits are affecting his wife and how he would feel if he thought his wife was looking at/comparing his privates to more well endowed men?


oh ya he's aware. she about divorced him. it was a long time ago but she's still unhappy with her body. she's even put on a little weight probably in an effort to get bigger boobs.


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## definitelynotme (May 4, 2010)

While occasionally feeling like mine are a bit small (34 B cup), especially compared to all my friends, and though they do have small stretch marks, they have a nice shape, are high and perky, and I am usually quite happy with them. I figure at almost 36, I am in pretty good shape. On occasion, I realize I actually have the world's most perfect breasts. 

My husband is not a breast man, but he certainly loves mine. I think our society is way too focused on boobs, and way too focused on big ones. Like Crypsys said, most men are just happy there ARE boobs. We women need to relax (and quit getting so damned many breast implants).


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