# Is this a big deal or should I lighten up?



## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

I have a rather odd question. Or maybe it's been posted here before, but nevertheless here goes.

Last night my hubby cooked me a pot roast since I'd been battling the flu. He cooked it classic style with carrots and taters. This is a big deal since he very very rarely makes any dinner for me, I usually do it. When we were done eating, he asked if I liked it and I said yes. He said "you just ate your first Elk meat."

You probably think this is no big deal, but I have refused to eat Elk, Buffalo and a few other animals due to reasons I won't go into here because those reasons are not the point. The point is that he KNEW that I didn't want to eat game meats and purposly cooked it, led me to believe it was beef and acted all proud he tricked me.

Am I over reacting or is this just another sign of selfish controlling behavior? 

I'm upset and am feeling betrayed


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Don't know about selfish and controlling, but it's definitely a jackass move. Like sneaking meat into a vegetarian's food. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## northernlights (Sep 23, 2012)

That is NOT ok. I mean, unless your reason was that you don't like the taste, and he was trying to blind taste test you on it. I've kind of done that to my husband before by sneaking quinoa into the couscous. 

But if it was more along the lines of tricking you into eating something you have an ethical objection to, then that's a sh!tty thing to do to a person. I'd be furious.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I don't think it was right either but I am wondering if you've ever tried any of the game meats you cited?

Is your husband a hunter and possibly looking for ways to save some money by putting game on the table?


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

CCL said:


> You probably think this is no big deal, but I have refused to eat Elk, Buffalo and a few other animals due to reasons I won't go into here because those reasons are not the point.


You don't get to tell a one-sided story and then ask for input.


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## just_about_done (Feb 6, 2013)

Yeah, the reasons are important. You're obviously not vegan or vegetarian, so the only thing I can figure is you don't want to eat Bambi. My wife is that way. It's actually silly if you will eat one animal why not another?


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

Sorry I'm at work and can only sneak back occasionally.

I was a vegetarian for 13 years, starting eating meat a couple of years ago due to a doctor recommendation. I've slowly introduced hamburgers, steak, pork into my diet and still have some issues with chicken (texture).

Yes, I have tasted some game meats. Goose was disgusting, the smell of venison makes me gag and I had a bite of buffalo burger once and it was just "off" to me. 

I also love animals and root for the elk and deer during hunting season. My hubby is not a hunter but used to be when he was a kid. I never was and neither was my dad, but my best friends dad was a hunting fiend and used to hang the carcasses on their front porch, yuck. 

I have never told hubby he cannot eat game meats. He is certainly welcome to eat whatever he wants. I just want the same in return.


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

just_about_done said:


> Yeah, the reasons are important. You're obviously not vegan or vegetarian, so the only thing I can figure is you don't want to eat Bambi. My wife is that way. It's actually silly if you will eat one animal why not another?


You're right, it is kind of silly to be OK with Hamburger but not with Deer, but those are my preferences.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Sounds like you have other reasons to believe your H is controlling?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Personally I wouldn't mind. I do eat game meats that my husband brings home. I actually much prefer venison over beef any given day. It's better for you since it's a leaner meat. I think it's pretty neat that he brings home something he caught. 

My husband would never do this without letting me know. I never had elk before, so I have no idea what it tastes like. If he were cooking something that I might not like and he wanted me to try it, he'd say it's a surprise. Then he'd tell me after I took the first bite to see if I liked it.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

I'd be furious. My husband is a much more "adventurous" eater than I am. I admit that I am limited in my food preferences but that's my choice. He can eat whatever he wants and I'm perfectly happy to eat the food that I like.

It may be silly to eat beef but not buffalo or elk. However, it's just as silly to force someone to eat buffalo just to make a point. Spouses should respect each other and this shows no respect.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CCL said:


> Yes, I have tasted some game meats. Goose was disgusting, the smell of venison makes me gag and I had a bite of buffalo burger once and it was just "off" to me.


The gamie taste often comes from the meat not being handled correctly or cooked correctly. There are ways to cook game meats, espcially venison, elk and oryx such that it's hard to tell it from beef.

I do wonder if that's what your husband was doing. Apparenlty you could not tell that it was not beef.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If your objection to eating game animals was the flavor but you just ate a game animal and loved it, he has simply disproved and removed your objection. If you object to eating certain animals on health, moral, or religious grounds and he knew that, the act was a betrayal. 
I thought I hated the taste of squash for years. I love the way my wife prepares it. My objection was irrational. I didn't object to squash, I objected to the way other people had made it taste.
Now, I don't eat certain things due to religious reasons. I don't eat other things because I have health issues they aggravate. My wife knows what these are and she doesn't feed them to me. Everything else is fair game (no pun intended) even if I thought I may have not liked the flavor of something in the past. Prepared a different way, I might. I don't see this as a violation of respect. I see this as rationality overcoming irrationality. The up-side is now you have another protein option that you enjoy. Next stop, Buffalo.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

My take on it would be that I have the flu and I'm glad that he took to time to cook for me.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

You don't have to justify your reasons. What your husband did is nasty.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My guess is that your husband thinks the reason you have for not eating those meats is the way they taste, and he was trying to prove to you they can taste good.

I once cooked a roast and served it to my brother, he told me how good it was, then told him it was actually beef heart, and he gagged and freaked out. I only did that because I knew he would never have even TASTED it if I told him what it was, and I find the fact that people won't even taste things before they decide whether they like them to be idiotic.

If, however, you have a moral reason and your husband has compromised your morals somehow, then explain that to him in no uncertain terms.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I don't believe in anyone "tricking" anyone else. Especially when it comes to food preferences.


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> The gamie taste often comes from the meat not being handled correctly or cooked correctly. There are ways to cook game meats, espcially venison, elk and oryx such that it's hard to tell it from beef.
> 
> I do wonder if that's what your husband was doing. Apparenlty you could not tell that it was not beef.


What is Oryx?


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> My take on it would be that I have the flu and I'm glad that he took to time to cook for me.


I'm very glad he took the time to cook for me and I have told him that. I just don't like the deception.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> The gamie taste often comes from the meat not being handled correctly or cooked correctly. There are ways to cook game meats, espcially venison, elk and oryx such that it's hard to tell it from beef.
> 
> I do wonder if that's what your husband was doing. Apparenlty you could not tell that it was not beef.


Good for you!! You got that straight.

If a spouse is doing something unreasonable, and this is a case where that can happen, then I am not so critical of the deception. 

Hard to say in this case. Not enough info.


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

The deception is a **** move and the reason for your preferences is 100% irrelevent to that.


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## just_about_done (Feb 6, 2013)

You know, now that I think about it I take it back. It's not silly. It seems silly to me because I like most game meat. But, I was thinking if someone tricked me into eating grub worms or something like that, I'd be pretty hacked off about it.

I'm sorry for (indirectly) calling you silly.


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## vspinkgrl (Dec 4, 2012)

We use the chicken and turkey "guts" in our holiday stuffing and I made sure to tell hubby that when we started combining holidays and eating each others family's foods because he had expressed specific distaste for that.

Some people take their placentas home and eat it, I'm sure one would be driven to curse out or even get physical if you found out your neighbor serve you placenta on a cracker using deception. Haha!

I would be livid, that's just an immature and nasty thing to do to someone.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

That's ****ed up. Your husband was in the wrong for that one. Next time he cooks something, since he rarely does, I'd refuse to eat it. Don't tell him from here on out you won't eat his food. Just order a pizza when he does cook. See how he likes that.


But I am curious. Was it tasty?


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

CCL said:


> Am I over reacting or is this just another sign of selfish controlling behavior?


Wondering about the use of the word "another". If your husband is controlling in other ways, then the answer may be that it IS selfish and controlling. If he is not and was just obsessed with getting you to see how great elk meat is (in his opinion)..well then I'd probably be a little annoyed at his persistence, but would get over it pretty fast. For me, the "intent" holds the answer to the question you posed in your title.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Is "lighten up" one of his favorite phrases?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

It's a big deal. I'm funny about food and my husband knows that. I don't eat game either and I'd be pissed if he tricked me into eating it.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

I think its the principle of the matter and I agree with others your reasons don't matter.He circumvented your personal right to choose what to eat or not eat by trickery.If he is controlling in other ways this would be especially bothersome to me.If it was you didn't think you would like the taste he could have just told you I know how to make it that I swear you wont be able to tell it from beef let me make it for you and just try it then you decide.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Oh and further..I don't get why he even cares if you eat it or not.Like you said he is free to eat it you aren't banning it from your kitchen all together.I'm a pescatarian now..but when I ate meat I happen to LOVE fried chicken livers.My husband hates it.And really I could care less.More for me..LOL!!!I would have no interest in sneaking in chicken liver somehow into a dish to trick him to eat it and then say HA! you liked that?Guess what???????????Maybe I'm just not that bored.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I think it depends on the reason why you don't want to eat game meat. My guess is that you refuse to eat it based on taste alone as opposed to any moral or religious reasons. Without knowing anything else about your marriage aside from what was in the OP, my guess is that he wanted to get you to like elk meat and made a pot roast that he knew you would like.

I think a few people here are being hypersensitive. Sure it's easy to recoil in horror at the thought of someone swapping a beef roast with an elk roast - primarily because many people can't equate deer, bison, elk or moose as a food source. 

But let's take the argument on face value: If a spouse secretly substitutes an ingredient for a dish and doesn't tell you because he/she wants you to try something new, is that unethical/bad/heinous? What the husband found out that you don't like soy milk and he found a good tasting soy milk and made the substitution on you without you knowing? Or how about if you don't like cauliflower, and your husband used cauliflower as a substitute to make mashed potatoes and then served these to you? Would that be heinous and despicable? I think when you substitute other foods aside from beef and elk, the argument looks silly. 

A lot of this comes down to conditioning. When we see beef cattle, we automatically think about steaks, roasts and hamburger. When we think about deer or elk, we think about a wild animal trying to survive. So based on what we've been exposed to in our lives, many of us feel sympathy for the deer, but could give 2 rips for the beef cattle...


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> I think when you substitute other foods aside from beef and elk, the argument looks silly.


It doesn't matter if its silly to some.Its a basic personal right to make your own choices regardless the reasons on what you will and wont eat.If some think its irrational to not eat some types of meats ? So what.Thats like saying a fear of closed in spaces is irrational so then is it O.K to trick your spouse into small closet and lock them in it to prove nothing bad will happen to them?We have no right to take away our freedom to choose certain things including what we eat rational or not.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

This reminds meof when I was 11 years old. i was a fat child and in the 60s, adults weren't too terribly defernetial to children. Can you imagine telling your friend's child that he/she is fat these days. My mother's mother would laugh for hours about how fat I was.

When I tried to read about dieting during that period, of course, fat was considered the culprit and calories were king. I tried to eat nothing but cereal and skim milk for breakfast and a slice of baloney on white bread for lunch.

My mother was never very good about waking up early enough to make breakfast for us as we needed to leave the house earlier than my father did for work.

but I remember one time,, I came down for breakfast before leaving for school and my mother dropped 2 slices of bacon on a plate in front of me. "eat it," she said, "I made it especially for you." 

It felt funny at the time. but years later, when I look at how often my mother tried in her subtle ways to sabotage things when they were going well for me, well, I can't interpret this story in a positive light......


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

If there is no ethical reason for not wanting to eat it, then you are over-reacting. He didn't harm you. He got you to try something new and you liked it. Period. Be offended if you want, then get over it.

Haven't any of you who cook for your spouse changed things on the other without saying anything? Like using turkey based lunch meat instead of the real thing, because it's better for you? Or adding veggies to things, because it's good for you? Or using ground turkey instead of ground beef? Those aren't horrors...even if the recipient isn't informed ahead of time. 

Don't get all wrapped up in the "I can never trust him again" or "he doesn't love me".... consider it done and let it go. You LIKED it.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I think it was very mean of your husband.

You have a right to not eat whatever you want and so does he.

he was lying through omission and being sneaky. 

What did it get him? I don't understand why he needed to do that. 

This thread shouldn't be about what any one else will or won't eat. I'ts about his childish behaviour.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I don't like that your husband went directly against your wishes, regardless of the reasons. Another poster mentioned that if you eat meat, the kind of meat does not matter. I disagree with this. In other parts of the world, dogs, rats and horses are commonly consumed. How would your husband feel if you served him dog meat and didn't tell him until afterwards?

Blatant disrespect on his part.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Sneaky, disrespectful, passive-aggressive, mean, childish, etc.

Now if this is an isolated event, I wouldn't be too upset. However if this type of behavior is ongoing then I suggest marriage counseling.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You ate it. You liked it. There's nothing in the dish you have a health, moral, or religious objection to. Your objection was only your irrational and incorrect personal assumption that you wouldn't like the flavor and you were proven wrong. If my kid (or spouse) claimed they "hate" vegetables but I find creative ways to introduce them into their diet, would I be deceitful or disrespectful? If, out of concern for my wife's health or as a way to stretch the food budget, I substitute or add vegetable protein for beef in a casserole and everyone loved it, where's the problem? He didn't feed you the family pet.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Good grief, how many times have we all eaten out somewhere or at someone's house and had NO idea what all was in the food we were eating? Especially fast food - God only knows what's in some of that crap. 

If it's some kind of moral objection, then fine. What he did was uncalled for. but if it is a moral objection I've missed the part where the OP said that.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Emerald said:


> *Sneaky, disrespectful, passive-aggressive, mean, childish, etc.*
> 
> Now if this is an isolated event, I wouldn't be too upset. However if this type of behavior is ongoing then I suggest marriage counseling.


We have nowhere close to enough info to assume if the OP's husband was doing his to satisfy his own personal needs. I think he was simply trying to get her to try something new that is healthy for her. Elk is healthier meat than beef, and the OP acknowledged that she has started to eat meat for health reasons.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Good grief, how many times have we all eaten out somewhere or at someone's house and had NO idea what all was in the food we were eating? Especially fast food - God only knows what's in some of that crap.
> 
> If it's some kind of moral objection, then fine. What he did was uncalled for. but if it is a moral objection I've missed the part where the OP said that.


Yeah but that's YOUR DECISION to eat it not knowing exactly whats in it.But in your own home having your spouse cook something and specifically LIE and say its one things to GET YOU to eat it KNOWING its already something you CHOOSE not to eat is completely differrent.Not only that if I was at a persons home and I ASKED what was in it and they LIED about the ingredients I would be just as miffed.Or If I order a certain type of meat at a resturant say beef and I found out later it was horse I would sue them.

As a matter of fact right now their is an investigation going on with our fish supplies in the U.S.Its been deemed MASSIVE deception .Example 56% of all tuna consumed by Americans ISNT" TUNA...Including one fish used (in 86% of the samples taken of supposed Tuna that wasnt ) is a type of mackerol that can cause digestive issues in humans including explosive orange oily diareah.The response isn't "so what half the things we eat at a fast food resturant or at someone elses house we have no idea what all is in it.That does not excuse being deliberately decieved.And in this case someone you would hope you could trust.

And like I mentioned before I dont get his reasoning for doing it?"Elk" I would hardly imagine is leaps and bounds more nutritious than beef...and the OP made no mention of them not being able to afford beef and she was being stubborn and out desperate NEED to survive econimically he substituted.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> I think he was simply trying to get her to try something new that is healthy for her. Elk is healthier meat than beef, and the OP acknowledged that she has started to eat meat for health reasons.


But she is a grown woman that is HER decision.How many other meats as well are healthier than beef?My understanding is ALL of them...in fact another long term study just finished and beef is actually considered to LOWER your life span.So unless he or she NEVER eats beef in the first place it wouldn't make any since for him to substitute it once with one other kind of meat..She is a grown woman not a child at risk of failure to thrive if the parents cant find a way to get them to eat better.

My husband is not my dietician/dr. nor my dad.My husband actually developed type 2 diabetes in his mid 40's from his poor eating habits.I encouraged him /warned him for years.But it wasnt my place to try to play games and sneak certain foods in his diet let alone in the grand scheme of things it wouldn't have prevented him getting diabetes because he still ate whatever he wanted anyway.Which was fast food every single day for at least one ..sometimes 2 meals a day ..And over indulging on sugary foods /pastries pies mainly.Sneaking some purred brussell sprouts into his ice cream wouldnt have made a difference.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> But she is a grown woman that is HER decision.How many other meats as well are healthier than beef?My understanding is ALL of them...in fact another long term study just finished and beef is actually considered to LOWER your life span.So unless he or she NEVER eats beef in the first place it wouldn't make any since for him to substitute it once with one other kind of meat..She is a grown woman not a child at risk of failure to thrive if the parents cant find a way to get them to eat better.
> 
> My husband is not my dietician/dr. nor my dad.My husband actually developed type 2 diabetes in his mid 40's from his poor eating habits.I encouraged him /warned him for years.But it wasnt my place to try to play games and sneak certain foods in his diet let alone in the grand scheme of things it wouldn't have prevented him getting diabetes because he still ate whatever he wanted anyway.Which was fast food every single day for at least one ..sometimes 2 meals a day ..And over indulging on sugary foods /pastries pies mainly.Sneaking some purred brussell sprouts into his ice cream wouldnt have made a difference.


I'm not trying to debate if what the husband did was right or not. Simply put, he was wrong to make an elk pot roast and pass it off as beef. But at the same time I don't believe that his transgression is all that serious. He probably wanted her to expand her palate and that's why he did it. Should he have been up front about it? Yes. Is he a mean passive/aggressive jerk by doing this? Not enough info to tell, but if this is an isolated event I would say no.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Oh and the other point is...The OP had already heeded her doctors warning and took his suggestion and was at her own PACE addding meat to her diet after being a complete vegetarian.(even though I dont get why they told her to eat red meat but Oh well)..I think she said she had added beef and pork.I'm a pescatarian and I do also eat eggs..if my husband just decided for me that wasnt the healthiest diet that I needed some meat...and say put pork pits in my beans I would pissed off.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Those who have to know and control all the ingredients in their food need to prepare their own. If I eat something someone else made, I take a leap of faith and give the cook direct access to my digestive tract.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I'm not trying to debate if what the husband did was right or not. Simply put, he was wrong to make an elk pot roast and pass it off as beef. But at the same time I don't believe that his transgression is all that serious. He probably wanted her to expand her palate and that's why he did it. Should he have been up front about it? Yes. Is he a mean passive/aggressive jerk by doing this? Not enough info to tell, but if this is an isolated event I would say no.


I do agree with that..if hes not "normally" disrespectful like that or otherwise some of a control freak..Yeah this isnt the end of the world but I would want an apology and and clear understanding to never do something like that again .Him "wanting her to expand her palate" is too bad.its HER PALATE he can enjoy his the way he chooses and she can enjoy hers the way she chooses.that is very personal and we each should get to choose for ourselves what we eat and what we DONT eat.I dont get to decide that for my husband just because "I want him" to "expand his pallet".

And you are talking to a girl that has eaten frog legs..ostrich..buffalo (my favorite burger) quail .. raw oysters..squid ..octopus...raw fish ..raw beef...inestines..etc..


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> Oh and the other point is...The OP had already heeded her doctors warning and took his suggestion and was at her own PACE addding meat to her diet after being a complete vegetarian.(even though I dont get why they told her to eat red meat but Oh well)..I think she said she had added beef and pork.*I'm a pescatarian* and I do also eat eggs..if my husband just decided for me that wasnt the healthiest diet that I needed some meat...and say put pork pits in my beans I would pissed off.


Without more input from the OP, your hypothetical is different from her situation. You made a conscious choice based on the idea that this lifestyle is ideal for you for your health. To the best my my knowledge, the OP has no formal objection to elk aside from the fact that she thinks game meat doesn't taste good. It's an apples vs oranges comparison.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Wow.

A lot of assumptions being made on behalf of the OP here. I'm still waiting to hear what exactly she has against elk. We don't even know if he outright lied to her or just let her assume it was beef.

A lot of misinformation about meat too!


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Those who have to know and control all the ingredients in their food need to prepare their own. If I eat something someone else made, I take a leap of faith and give the cook direct access to my digestive tract.


Thats different than your spouse lying to your face while serving you up a dish they already are aware you do NOT want to eat.When I cook for my husband I dont tell him not only since I cooked it you have no right or say so what is in it..On top of that I'm going to tell you whats NOT in it that really is and vice versa.And thats just too bad cook for your self if you dont like it.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

You should be divorcing this oppressive controlling man. Stand for your rights sister!

Maybe your husband knew you would like it. And he was right. The deception was wrong, ok. But if you had a strong aversion to not eating something and then you tasted it and liked it, did it not broaden your horizon? I've hated certain music groups. I've had people give me music to listen to and I've liked it. Then they've told me it was a band I hated and who's music I was adamantly against listening to. The deception was just a fleeting memory at that point, for me.

To take it a step further, how many people have had their spouses drag them somewhere they didn't want to go and then have a good time? How many people have NOT been in the mood for sex and then had a spouse effectively seduce them?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I'm not trying to debate if what the husband did was right or not. Simply put, he was wrong to make an elk pot roast and pass it off as beef. But at the same time I don't believe that his transgression is all that serious. He probably wanted her to expand her palate and that's why he did it. Should he have been up front about it? Yes. Is he a mean passive/aggressive jerk by doing this? Not enough info to tell, but if this is an isolated event I would say no.


The problem, for me, is that he knew she was opposed to eating game. And he did it anyway.


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Those who have to know and control all the ingredients in their food need to prepare their own. If I eat something someone else made, I take a leap of faith and give the cook direct access to my digestive tract.


And if that person is your spouse - the person that you trust with just about everything - knowingly deceives you then you would be okay with that? 

I'm a vegetarian but I know that when I go out I have to ask a lot of questions and if I go to someone else's house, I might end up eating a little chicken brother or they put a little bacon in something I don't freak out over any of that. However if someone that I trust, live with and love did this intentionally, yeah, I'd be pissed off. I really don't see any difference in my case and the OP's because her decisions on what to put in her body are just that - hers. 

I don't think this is something to hold a grudge over IF they can have a mature discussion about it and she can let him know that he violated her trust. However if this is some sort of pattern (she indicated something of the sort) then she needs to get to the bottom of the issue(s).


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

[QUOTEWe don't even know if he outright lied to her or just let her assume it was beef.
][/QUOTE]

Letting her assume it was beef and fully aware she had decided not to eat elk IS an "outright lie".Take say a pair of twin sisters one has a boyfriend..NO a husband...the other one (her twin)"plays" like she is her sister /his wife including when her calls her the siters(his wifes) name she is silent and sleeps with him.Would you say she didnt "outright lie" to the man?


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Put a key logger on his computer and phone. Put VAR on his car, hire a PI. Get a high powered divorce lawyer and take this bad man for all his $$$.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CCL said:


> What is Oryx?


oryx is orginaly from Africa. In the 1950's the game department established herds of them in New Mexico. They can now be hunted here in NM. One of my son's and his friend hunt them so we often have oryx meat in the freezer.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Wow.
> 
> A lot of assumptions being made on behalf of the OP here. I'm still waiting to hear what exactly she has against elk. We don't even know if he outright lied to her or just let her assume it was beef.
> 
> A lot of misinformation about meat too!


she said they are hunted in her area..and that she "roots for them".IOW she has an issue it seems specifically with the Elk being hunted..I'll go read back but I'm pretty sure thats what she said.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

richie33 said:


> Put a key logger on his computer and phone. Put VAR on his car, hire a PI. Get a high powered divorce lawyer and take this bad man for all his $$$.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> the OP has no formal objection to elk aside from the fact that she thinks game meat doesn't taste good. It's an apples vs oranges comparison.


I believe she eluded to not being happy about them being hunted as a food source.On top of I think she had tried OTHER game meats and didnt like the taste.I think she said duck and buffalo.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

dallasapple said:


> she said they are hunted in her area..and that she "roots for them".IOW she has an issue it seems specifically with the Elk being hunted..I'll go read back but I'm pretty sure thats what she said.


She did say that she roots for the hunted animal.
My view on it is that I would rather have meat from an animal that has been hunted then meat from animals that are put in filthy feeding lots, abused and then slaughtered in the manner that it's done in slaughter houses. That's cruel. Hunting is not cruel. 

Hunting is the way that nature intended carnivores and omnivores to get our meat. At least the animal in the wild is not mistreated, not fed hormones it does not need and not raised in filth


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

dallasapple said:


> Letting her assume it was beef and fully aware she had decided not to eat elk IS an "outright lie".Take say a pair of twin sisters one has a boyfriend..NO a husband...the other one (her twin)"plays" like she is her sister /his wife including when her calls her the siters(his wifes) name she is silent and sleeps with him.Would you say she didnt "outright lie" to the man?


So now we're comparing eating elk to sleeping with your sister?

Oy vey.

If she had said "Is this beef?" and he said "yes", that's an outright lie. Lying by omission is lying, yes, but if he has the gall to outright lie to her when she asks, that speaks of bigger issues IMO.

Probably not in yours, though.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

My brother made a dish telling me it was chicken but it turned out to be tofu. After reading this next time I see him I am going to punch him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> My view on it is that I would rather have meat from an animal that has been hunted then meat from animals that are put in filthy feeding lots, abused and then slaughtered in the manner that it's done in slaughter houses. That's cruel. Hunting is not cruel.


I agree 100%.but her rationale is her rationale.that his her decision.If I were to ever eat meat? It would be animals who roamed freely all their life until adulthood and humanely slaughtered in their natural setting (including beef you can buy beef from bovine that are for REAL free roaming and there slughter is a "sneak surprise").Not tortured all their lives then terrorised at slaughter.Even the eggs I buy are from PASTURED hens..(not cage free that just as disgusting in a diffrenent way) ..the hens my eggs come from are litterally in a pasture walking around eating out of nature (bugs /worms /etc) and guarded by special dogs against predaters...then they go home to sleep in their coup to lay their very TASTY eggs!


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

richie33 said:


> My brother made a dish telling me it was chicken but it turned out to be tofu. After reading this next time I see him I am going to punch him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think most here will acknowledge..MEAT (animal) sources of food is much more personal than legumes/or vegetation .I think you might feel a little different if your brother told you it was dog...or cat..or hamster...Maybe you are O.K with that ..but I would personally not feel the same it being TOFU than the above mentioned.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Just because other people's personal boundaries are different, doesn't mean that they should be labeled as "silly" or "irrational." The OP has a preference for whatever reason, her husband is aware of it. He violated those personal boundaries. Whether or not it is right, or wrong, or for whatever potentially good-hearted reason, that's what happened. 

I eat meat, all kinds of meat - but I have a boundary against eating veal. I just find what goes into making it to be cruel, even by the standards of other domestic meat production. That's my personal preference. That's my boundary. And people should be free to have their own preferences and boundaries. 

My husband hates cold tomatoes and dried apples. (The first is a preference, the second is because it gives him stomach issues.) I respect that. I've never made muffins with dried apples in there and gone "ha ha" I got you to eat them. Because if I played games like that, he might not trust my cooking. 

And that's kind of the situation that the OP's husband has created the "horse meat" situation, where she always has to second guess his intentions. And really - that's an issue. It shows an issue with respecting your spouses boundaries.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I've only read part of the first page. In my opinion, it doesn't matter who has what reasons for wanting their own way. It's wrong to deceive your partner intentionally, and that is what he did.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

dallasapple said:


> I think most here will acknowledge..MEAT (animal) sources of food is much more personal than legumes/or vegetation .I think you might feel a little different if your brother told you it was dog...or cat..or hamster...Maybe you are O.K with that ..but I would personally not feel the same it being TOFU than the above mentioned.


I avoid soy products like the plague because it is not the healthy food it's made out to be. If someone fed me tofu in disguise I wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't call them a passive aggressive liar.

I think it's interesting that, since the horsemeat scandal in Europe, sales of horse meat for human consumption have risen in some places, like where I live 

Europe's horsemeat scandal spurs Canadian consumption - Canada - CBC News

French horsemeat sales up thanks to horse-for-beef scandal - Report: France - RFI


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

richie33 said:


> My brother made a dish telling me it was chicken but it turned out to be tofu. After reading this next time I see him I am going to punch him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh in other words for me anyway...I would punch your brother if it was the other way around..him KNOWING I do not want to eat chicken and he told me it was Tofu which he knows Im fine with eating but fed me chicken instead.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Tofu is made with soy, which has been proven to lower men's testosterone. 
How about the wife just say to her husband I don't appreciate what you did, you offended me and don't let it happen again. And then leave it at that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> I avoid soy products like the plague because it is not the healthy food it's made out to be. If someone fed me tofu in disguise I wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't call them a passive aggressive liar.


but that's different than ethical reasons.and one serving of tofu does not make a health crisis.there is a difference unless you are allergic to it..with someone slipping you a NON MEAT substitute for meat you think you are eating (or even another vegetable) then for you to find out you just ate an ANIMAL that you were committed and disciplined your self to never eat because someone else "decided" you should try it anyway..

Its clearly the difference between plant and animal that I draw a dinstinction ..Like I said unless you are allergic to the plant.Are you really going to feel physcologically affected that a certain vegetation is circulating in your body?Picture the eyes of the soy bean?If so thats fine.The person is a royal jack ass to have decieved you .


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> I think most here will acknowledge..MEAT (animal) sources of food is much more personal than legumes/or vegetation .I think you might feel a little different if your brother told you it was dog...or cat..or hamster...Maybe you are O.K with that ..but I would personally not feel the same it being TOFU than the above mentioned.


So would you divorce your husband over this? 

When I was a kid my dad told my mom he didn't want a surprise birthday party and she said ok. She throw him one anyway. He had a good time. But later on if he was upset with her for not keeping her word he should've put her ass out of the house! Who cares if she knew he would enjoy it and he did! Pffft....my dad's beta..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

richie33 said:


> Tofu is made with soy, which has been proven to lower men's testosterone.
> How about the wife just say to her husband I don't appreciate what you did, you offended me and don't let it happen again. And then leave it at that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


yes if eaten in large amounts it could cause the population of earth to go from 7 billion ..to 6.9 billion.It can lower a mans sperm count.They need to warn the Japanese.It can also affect a womans hormones.Again if eaten in large enough amounts it would really matter.


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## TheManinBlack (Feb 21, 2013)

CCL said:


> I have a rather odd question. Or maybe it's been posted here before, but nevertheless here goes.
> 
> Last night my hubby cooked me a pot roast since I'd been battling the flu. He cooked it classic style with carrots and taters. This is a big deal since he very very rarely makes any dinner for me, I usually do it. When we were done eating, he asked if I liked it and I said yes. He said "you just ate your first Elk meat."
> 
> ...


If he did it because you simply didn't like the taste, then I'm OK with that. However, it sounds like he knew you had an ethical/moral opposition to it, in which case it was a **** move on his part. 

He owes you an apology.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> So would you divorce your husband over this?
> 
> When I was a kid my dad told my mom he didn't want a surprise birthday party and she said ok. She throw him one anyway. He had a good time. But later on if he was upset with her for not keeping her word he should've put her ass out of the house! Who cares if she knew he would enjoy it and he did! Pffft....my dad's beta..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


absolutely not.If hes a control freak and this was a straw that borke the camels back then sure..but this alone? No..


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

This what l like about this site. A husband starts a post about his wife that hates their 3 year old daughter barely is discussed but something like this gets blown up. Thread jack out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Also I dont get this whole exageration just because some (many) have the opinion it was dead wrong..why the jokes about divorcing him over it ? Or physically attacking him (punching him )..I havent seen ONE person who is saying it was s*****ty saying that she should kick him to the curb over it? Its more like some are MINIMIZING it calling the OP "silly" for not wanting to eat it in the first place or being upset about it at all..that is where the argument is..from "who cares get over it you are being "silly" to NO..its not a good dynamic to TRICK your spouse over something as personal as not wanting to eat certain ANIMALS just because YOU decided they should eat it..but no one has said she should leave him over it.Thats the SILLY part of this discussion .


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

richie33 said:


> This what l like about this site. A husband starts a post about his wife that hates their 3 year old daughter barely is discussed but something like this gets blown up. Thread jack out.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sure it will be discussed.I don't notice many people coming here myslef with rather serious issues getting routinely ingnored but we each have our own perception .


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CCL said:


> I have a rather odd question. Or maybe it's been posted here before, but nevertheless here goes.
> 
> Last night my hubby cooked me a pot roast since I'd been battling the flu. He cooked it classic style with carrots and taters. This is a big deal since he very very rarely makes any dinner for me, I usually do it. When we were done eating, he asked if I liked it and I said yes. He said "you just ate your first Elk meat."
> 
> ...


Did your husband tell you that it was beef before you ate it? Or did you make this assumption?


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> absolutely not.If hes a control freak and this was a straw that borke the camels back then sure..but this alone? No..


What would be your reaction to it? And what if you liked the outcome if he made something you refused to eat tasty to you? Do you think you would ever eat it again and just be angry he lied to you? Or would you refuse it all together and associate it with him not being truthful?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

dallasapple said:


> but that's different than ethical reasons.and one serving of tofu does not make a health crisis.there is a difference unless you are allergic to it..with someone slipping you a NON MEAT substitute for meat you think you are eating (or even another vegetable) then for you to find out you just ate an ANIMAL that you were committed and disciplined your self to never eat because someone else "decided" you should try it anyway..
> 
> Its clearly the difference between plant and animal that I draw a dinstinction ..Like I said unless you are allergic to the plant.Are you really going to feel physcologically affected that a certain vegetation is circulating in your body?Picture the eyes of the soy bean?If so thats fine.The person is a royal jack ass to have decieved you .


So health reasons are not as important as ethical reasons?? You do realize that you have just done to me exactly what OP's husband did to her, right?

I firmly believe that soy is UNHEALTHY. I AVOID it. I actively seek out products that do not contain it in any way, shape or form. Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean you can minimize my belief. I also don't agree with the way it's farmed, but that's a whole nother can of worms.

I still haven't seen the OP say she has ethical reasons anyway. Saying she roots for the elk during hunting season isn't exactly an ethical stance.

I think your outrage here stems from your own beliefs, not from anything that happened to the OP.


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## OrangeCrush (Sep 12, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> You don't get to tell a one-sided story and then ask for input.


yes she does. YOU don't 'get' to tell someone what to say. 

It doesn't matter WHY she doesn't want to eat certain things. It's completely disrespectful to 'trick' someone into putting something into his or her body that they do not want.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

richie33 said:


> This what l like about this site. A husband starts a post about his wife that hates their 3 year old daughter barely is discussed but something like this gets blown up. Thread jack out.


The OP on the threat about his wife hating their 3 yr old child has not returned to engage in a conversation. So that sort of shuts it down.

Plus, all that can be said to this point has been said. His wife has a probelm and he needs to make sure she gets help before she hurts the child.

This topic.. being fooled (maybe) into eating elk is one that people have a lot of diff opinions on. Hence the longer thread.

It's not that a more serious issue is being ignored. it's that the man with the more serious issue is not participating in his thread.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Dallas the OP hasn't been back. Making light of this thread sorry offended you so badly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> Also I dont get this whole exageration just because some (many) have the opinion it was dead wrong..why the jokes about divorcing him over it ? Or physically attacking him (punching him )..I havent seen ONE person who is saying it was s*****ty saying that she should kick him to the curb over it? Its more like some are MINIMIZING it calling the OP "silly" for not wanting to eat it in the first place or being upset about it at all..that is where the argument is..from "who cares get over it you are being "silly" to NO..its not a good dynamic to TRICK your spouse over something as personal as not wanting to eat certain ANIMALS just because YOU decided they should eat it..but no one has said she should leave him over it.Thats the SILLY part of this discussion .


Well..some people have said he's sneaky, disrespectful, mean, nasty, passive aggressive and childish. So obviously their marriage is doomed and he is not a good man. That's why I jest.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> So health reasons are not as important as ethical reasons?? You do realize that you have just done to me exactly what OP's husband did to her, right?


No they aren't to me..like I said unless you are allergic.Lets put it this way ..its to a different degree of a betrayal not so much "not as important"..if its strictly for health reasons (again unless you are allergic) one serving of tofu in your life as it pertains to health has the effect of like pissing in the ocean .One serving of an animal you wished to not die for you to eat is IMHO more of a psychological breech in the sense you can never say that animal didn't die for you to eat.Its a little "deeper".I cant compare those to as "equal" as to the affect on me personally.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> Well..some people have said he's sneaky, disrespectful, mean, nasty, passive aggressive and childish. So obviously their marriage is doomed and he is not a good man. That's why I jest.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He wasn't a good man in this INSTANCE...I have said I wouldnt write someone off over that..Listen my husband has done FAR WORSE things and more than once and I didn't leave him over it.Doesn't mean the things he did WEREN"T rat ass dog ass choices.(no offense to the sources of meat mentioned).So I can say that all I want..and vent about it..why say O.K then why not just leave him..? Thats "silly"..


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

richie33 said:


> Dallas the OP hasn't been back. Making light of this thread sorry offended you so badly.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You didnt "offend me so badly" ..just felt like a 'hand slap" like you are the posting police and had decided "mine' and others time could be spent more productively..maybe Im enjoying this topic?

anyway peace.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> What would be your reaction to it? And what if you liked the outcome if he made something you refused to eat tasty to you? Do you think you would ever eat it again and just be angry he lied to you? Or would you refuse it all together and associate it with him not being truthful?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If it was something I refused to eat because I didnt want to eat that animal it wouldnt MATTER how tasty it was..Taste wise?frog legs (the ones I ate) were DELICIOUS..seriously taste like moist chicken..I tried it..couldn't "deal" with the frog in my head during and after that ..decided I don't want to eat frogs...and in the case you descirbe above I would be angry he lied to me PERIOD.I wouldnt eat it again for the same REASONS I didnt eat it (voluntarily) in the first place and I would not trust him to cook for me anymore..Why should I? If I don't get to decide what I eat for myself don't even bother.I'm a fine cook and I can trust myself.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> He wasn't a good man in this INSTANCE...I have said I wouldnt write someone off over that..Listen my husband has done FAR WORSE things and more than once and I didn't leave him over it.Doesn't mean the things he did WEREN"T rat ass dog ass choices.(no offense to the sources of meat mentioned).So I can say that all I want..and vent about it..why say O.K then why not just leave him..? Thats *"silly"..*


So is complaining about something just to complain. You want to right to say whatever you want but want to judge how people respond to it? Isn't that a bit selfish?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Lets put it this way..I do NOT want to eat dog..I dont.And I wont starve not eating them either..its just "off my list" ..Doesn't matter why...I do not WANT to eat dog.If my husband "tricked me" and told me it was fish(which I'm O.K eating) and it was DELICIOUS ...he said "how is the fish and I said "really good "..and he said SURPRISE its DOG! I KNEW you would LIKE IT!...It wouldn't change my conviction NOT to eat dog and I would be very angry at him for violating my wishes.Its not about "taste"..I'm sure there is a way to cook human meat too that taste like chicken..I still dont want to eat it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

dallasapple said:


> No they aren't to me..like I said unless you are allergic.Lets put it this way ..its to a different degree of a betrayal not so much "not as important"..if its strictly for health reasons (again unless you are allergic) one serving of tofu in your life as it pertains to health has the effect of like pissing in the ocean .One serving of an animal you wished to not die for you to eat is IMHO more of a psychological breech in the sense you can never say that animal didn't die for you to eat.Its a little "deeper".I cant compare those to as "equal" as to the affect on me personally.


We aren't talking about you personally. We're talking about the OP.

You REALLY don't see the hypocrisy in what you're saying to me, do you? I DO NOT EAT SOY PRODUCTS. PERIOD. Saying that feeding me soy is not as bad as feeding the OP elk because in your opinion it isn't as 'bad' is hypocritical.

You don't even know where the elk came from. For all you know it WAS one of your ethically raised free ranged 'happy' animals. You are making far too many assumptions about the OP - projecting what you believe.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> So is complaining about something just to complain. You want to right to say whatever you want but want to judge how people respond to it? Isn't that a bit selfish?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


who is judging who ?isn't the person complaining being judged as "silly"?Isnt everyone judging everyone?Her husband must be judging her or else he wouldnt have lied and tricked her to eat elk..she is judging him for choosing to lie to her and trick him..the ones that see it her way are being judged as someone demonizing her husband and being over the top and the ones that see it his way are being judged ...

Isnt your post here calling someone (me?) selfish a judgment?Don't you think your last sentence just in this one post is a judgment?


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> We aren't talking about you personally. We're talking about the OP.
> 
> You REALLY don't see the hypocrisy in what you're saying to me, do you? I DO NOT EAT SOY PRODUCTS. PERIOD. Saying that feeding me soy is not as bad as feeding the OP elk because in your opinion it isn't as 'bad' is hypocritical.
> 
> You don't even know where the elk came from. For all you know it WAS one of your ethically raised free ranged 'happy' animals. You are making far too many assumptions about the OP - projecting what you believe.


No ..its not"hypocritical" I see it as a difference.I never said its "right' for you to be tricked into eating soy.I think its "differrent" on an emotional level to be tricked into eating a specific animal.That is my opinion ..both would be deception .both aren't right..but thinking one is "worse" IMHO is not "hypocritical" hypcritical is a complete double standard..I would have had to hve said NOTHING is wrong with being tricked into eating tofu..I never said that..I am saying "not the same" and I beleive one is worse..MY opinion ..thats not "hypocritical" that I don't believe its identical or equal;.They are both wrong..I happen to believe one is worse..Lets put it this way..FOR me one would be far worse.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> who is judging who ?isn't the person complaining being judged as "silly"?Isnt everyone judging everyone?Her husband must be judging her or else he wouldnt have lied and tricked her to eat elk..she is judging him for choosing to lie to her and trick him..the ones that see it her way are being judged as someone demonizing her husband and being over the top and the ones that see it his way are being judged ...
> 
> Isnt your post here calling someone (me?) selfish a judgment?Don't you think your last sentence just in this one post is a judgment?


My point is how can you feel free to complain about whatever you want but put a value on how people respond to it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> You don't even know where the elk came from. For all you know it WAS one of your ethically raised free ranged 'happy' animals. You are making far too many assumptions about the OP - projecting what you believe.


I'm having a conversation .And I don't care where the Elk came from in fact I wouldn't eat it..I don't eat ANY meat but fish and if you count eggs..I only mentioned if I DID eat meat..that would be the only way..I don't care it it was galloping through a field eating daisies when it was shot in the head..I wouldn't eat it.Period.So how am I projecting? I wouldn't eat the pork she says she eats or the beef either..

Anyway ..done ..stick a fork in this one I'm done..


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> My point is how can you feel free to complain about whatever you want but put a value on how people respond to it?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I suppose the same way you can???


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

dallasapple said:


> Lets put it this way..I do NOT want to eat dog..I dont.And I wont starve not eating them either..its just "off my list" ..Doesn't matter why...I do not WANT to eat dog.If my husband "tricked me" and told me it was fish(which I'm O.K eating) and it was DELICIOUS ...he said "how is the fish and I said "really good "..and he said SURPRISE its DOG! I KNEW you would LIKE IT!...It wouldn't change my conviction NOT to eat dog and I would be very angry at him for violating my wishes.Its not about "taste"..I'm sure there is a way to cook human meat too that taste like chicken..I still dont want to eat it.


It's not clear if he told his wife that it was beef before she ate it.

He might have just cooked dinner and she ate it. Then he told her what it was.

I think that this is an important point to know. Did she assume she knew what it was or did she ask? Or did he lie to her for starters.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Allrighty then. :slap: You're talking in circles and I am getting dizzy 

Elegirl, apparently that doesn't matter.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> It's not clear if he told his wife that it was beef before she ate it.
> 
> He might have just cooked dinner and she ate it. Then he told her what it was.
> 
> I think that this is an important point to know. Did she assume she knew what it was or did she ask? Or did he lie to her for starters.


Thats true..but I cant espcape he knew she didnt want to eat Elk.He knew it was Elk and he knew she didn't know it was Elk.I'M "guessing" he had to know she did NOT think it was Elk..

She needs to clarify...


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Questions to the OP...

1) Did your husband know you had an aversion to eating elk?

2) If so when he cooked the roast did he say nothing or did he say it was "beef"..


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Allrighty then. :slap: You're talking in circles and I am getting dizzy
> 
> Elegirl, apparently that doesn't matter.


:slap::slap:

Back at ya...we are finally in agreement.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> I suppose the same way you can???


Since I said your reasoning was selfish that essentially makes me just like you? Because I judged you as selfish? Dallasapple I think you just feel entitled to say what's on your mind but dont want people to respond negatively to it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

I would have stuck my tongue down my throat and given it back.


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## just_about_done (Feb 6, 2013)

dallasapple said:


> who is judging who ?*isn't the person complaining being judged as "silly"?*Isnt everyone judging everyone?Her husband must be judging her or else he wouldnt have lied and tricked her to eat elk..she is judging him for choosing to lie to her and trick him..the ones that see it her way are being judged as someone demonizing her husband and being over the top and the ones that see it his way are being judged ...
> 
> Isnt your post here calling someone (me?) selfish a judgment?Don't you think your last sentence just in this one post is a judgment?


Hey, I apologized for that.


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

The first time my current wife came home to the farm to meet my family, I killed a groundhog and gave it to my mother to put in the crockpot the next day. After cooking it in the crockpot, she put it in a baking pan with potatoes, carrots, peas, onions and dumplings. When she was cleaning the pan, I told her what it was. To her credit she did not bat an eye, cuss or fuss, totally taking the fun out of it for me. 

I know it did something that he knew was against your wishes, but this is not a die on the sword issue. You have already acknowledged that it was just what you needed, and though it was against your desires, it was not harmful to you. You would do more harm by chastising him for this. Turn the event to your favor, remember you cook way more meals than he does. Let him know that he has no idea what he has eaten at your hands (light heartedly). 

Is this a big deal or should I lighten up? To quote the movie Stripes....lighten up Francis.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I just have to say ... lol, I'm not sure I'd want to eat in some other people's kitchens.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> You have already acknowledged that it was just what you needed, and though it was against your desires, it was not harmful to you.


When did she say that?:scratchhead:


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Starstarfish said:


> I just have to say ... lol, I'm not sure I'd want to eat in some other people's kitchens.



:iagree:


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

geeeeessh I don't get it, whether it is about elk or anything else I would be pi$$ed if my W knowingly deceive me. Isn't that what this is about? Who cares about it being an elk or a freaking elephant, the fact is he knowingly deceived her. This strikes me a bit odd that a person would knowingly do this and BE PROUD of his deceit!! What is also sad is just because the OP is not giving her reasons as to why she doesn't like it, it must mean that she is silly or whatever.....I think we should realize that non of us would want to be deceived and it does not matter what the reason is. for all of you that minimizes her reasons only push her away from even wanting to discuss it anymore. silly or not they are her feelings and she has a valid reasons for them.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> It's not clear if he told his wife that it was beef before she ate it.
> 
> He might have just cooked dinner and she ate it. Then he told her what it was.
> 
> I think that this is an important point to know. Did she assume she knew what it was or did she ask? Or did he lie to her for starters.


yes he may have not told her it was beef but one thing that is undeniable, he KNEW she did not want to eat elk so it was still deceitful. At the very least he should have had the decency to inform her what was in it since he knew she would not have eaten it.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> I killed a groundhog and gave it to my mother to put in the crockpot the next day. After cooking it in the crockpot, she put it in a baking pan with potatoes, carrots, peas, onions and dumplings. When she was cleaning the pan, I told her what it was. To her credit she did not bat an eye, cuss or fuss, totally taking the fun out of it for me.


I guess I'm from a different stock..If my son did that to me he would understand he needed to leave and go be with people of his like kind.Not to mention I have been cooking meat long enough to "notice" the difference between a "ground hog" and other meats..Maybe your mother did too and why she didn't bat an eye.But she was desperate for meat..That's why it took the "fun out of it" for you ?Some feel desperate enough to eat ground hog.Its not as fun for them as it is for you .


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dblkman said:


> geeeeessh I don't get it, whether it is about elk or anything else I would be pi$$ed if my W knowingly deceive me. Isn't that what this is about? Who cares about it being an elk or a freaking elephant, the fact is he knowingly deceived her. This strikes me a bit odd that a person would knowingly do this and BE PROUD of his deceit!! What is also sad is just because the OP is not giving her reasons as to why she doesn't like it, it must mean that she is silly or whatever.....I think we should realize that non of us would want to be deceived and it does not matter what the reason is. for all of you that minimizes her reasons only push her away from even wanting to discuss it anymore. silly or not they are her feelings and she has a valid reasons for them.


I agree with you to an extent. I don't think he is proud of his deceit. I think he is proud because he just knew if she would give it a chance she would like it. Maybe he was thinking..."if she would just give it a chance.." Maybe he likes this meat and he thinks his wife was missing out and she would never ever try it any other way. i could be reaching for this one but here goes: Maybe he is really passionate about hunting and eating this particularly meat. And he wants his wife to be apart of that. Maybe her rejection of that makes him feel in a since that she is rejecting something about him. And he was trying to win her over in a manner that minimized conflict. Then she would say something like, "You're right hun! This is good!" and the deceit would be a second thought. I'm not saying this was fair to the OP but this may have been what was going on in his head. 

Some men sometimes tune out the complaints of women and just do what they want because they feel their wife might just be nit picky about something. Sometimes it's all good and you can win the woman over on certain things. But sometimes you really [email protected] up...like maybe her husband did.. Maybe he didn't want to fight about it and wanted her to give this a fair shake. But his dishonesty really upset her. I feel that.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> I agree with you to an extent. I don't think he is proud of his deceit. I think he is proud because he just knew if she would give it a chance she would like it. Maybe he was thinking..."if she would just give it a chance.." Maybe he likes this meat and he thinks his wife was missing out and she would never ever try it any other way. i could be reaching for this one but here goes: Maybe he is really passionate about hunting and eating this particularly meat. And he wants his wife to be apart of that. Maybe her rejection of that makes him feel in a since that she is rejecting something about him. And he was trying to win her over in a manner that minimized conflict. Then she would say something like, "You're right hun! This is good!" and the deceit would be a second thought. I'm not saying this was fair to the OP but this may have been what was going on in his head.
> 
> Some men sometimes tune out the complaints of women and just do what they want because they feel their wife might just be nit picky about something. Sometimes it's all good and you can win the woman over on certain things. But sometimes you really [email protected] up...like maybe her husband did.. Maybe he didn't want to fight about it and wanted her to give this a fair shake. But his dishonesty really upset her. I feel that.



That's sounds like total projecting and complete judging.

bottom line ..HE DOESNT HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIE TO HER TO GET HER to EAT FOOD SHE SAID SHE DIDN"T WANT TO EAT ...PERIOD! THERE IS NOTHING to FIGHT about EITHER If he will STOP TRYING to MAKE her eat FOOD she said she DOESNT WANT! WHO CARES if he "feels " SHE is NIT PICKY..Its HER life NOT his..


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> That's sounds like total projecting and complete judging.
> 
> bottom line ..HE DOESNT HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIE TO HER TO GET HER to EAT FOOD SHE SAID SHE DIDN"T WANT TO EAT ...PERIOD! THERE IS NOTHING to FIGHT about EITHER If he will STOP TRYING to MAKE her eat FOOD she said she DOESNT WANT! WHO CARES if he "feels " SHE is NIT PICKY..Its HER life NOT his..


I guess you are still sour from our last exchange. Oh my you even turned on the caps for me. I never said I do this. I didn't even say what he did was right. But these things do happen and I was pointing that was what maybe what was going on with him. And what am I projecting? I think you were just excited about a chance to use that word. And speaking of projecting...


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> Maybe he was thinking..."if she would just give it a chance.." Maybe he likes this meat and he thinks his wife was missing out and she would never ever try it any other way. i could be reaching for this one but here goes: Maybe he is really passionate about hunting and eating this particularly meat. And he wants his wife to be apart of that. Maybe her rejection of that makes him feel in a since that she is rejecting something about him.


THEN he needs THERAPY...If her not eating ELK he takes as a personal rejection of HIM he needs HELP..If I grow a tomato garden and I am PASSIONATE about my tomato garden that gives me NO right right to trick my husband into eating tomatos because its a "personal rejection if he doesn't"..And if I do ? I need THERAPY/Who gives a **** how "he feels" ..what about how she feels? And vice versa..Its RUDE and immature..Oh MY tomato garden is my PASSION so I will LIE to my spouse who said I dont WANT any tomatos because I WANT my spouse to be a "part of that " AGAINST their expressed wishes!Or else I feel REJECTED!??????:scratchhead:


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> I guess you are still sour from our last exchange. Oh my you even turned on the caps for me. I never said I do this. I didn't even say what he did was right. But these things do happen and I was pointing that was what maybe what was going on with him. And what am I projecting? I think you were just excited about a chance to use that word. And speaking of projecting...


:rofl:

You are maybe projecting on the side of force feeding your spouse a food against their will based on how much it means to you .Just like I was projecting my stance (which I was accused of) which couldn;t be further from the truth.

I was pointing out what maybe going on with her..it was called by you "projecting" ..whats good for the goose as they say..


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)




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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> I agree with you to an extent. I don't think he is proud of his deceit. I think he is proud because he just knew if she would give it a chance she would like it. Maybe he was thinking..."if she would just give it a chance.." Maybe he likes this meat and he thinks his wife was missing out and she would never ever try it any other way. i could be reaching for this one but here goes: Maybe he is really passionate about hunting and eating this particularly meat. And he wants his wife to be apart of that. Maybe her rejection of that makes him feel in a since that she is rejecting something about him. And he was trying to win her over in a manner that minimized conflict. Then she would say something like, "You're right hun! This is good!" and the deceit would be a second thought. I'm not saying this was fair to the OP but this may have been what was going on in his head.
> 
> Some men sometimes tune out the complaints of women and just do what they want because they feel their wife might just be nit picky about something. Sometimes it's all good and you can win the woman over on certain things. But sometimes you really [email protected] up...like maybe her husband did.. Maybe he didn't want to fight about it and wanted her to give this a fair shake. But his dishonesty really upset her. I feel that.


Maybe but the way the whole story reads to me is that he led her to believe it was beef so he lied. He knew she used to be a vegetarian and still had some boundaries but he crossed them anyway.
This is a man that totally disrespected his wife.

Have to say that as a vegetarian I would be mortified if my partner did something like this. I cook meat for him, I respect his choices in life, he cooks veggo for me and respects my choices in life.

Honestly this smacks of passive aggressive behaviour and would be a deal breaker for me.

It is a very big deal for a vegetarian to have started to eat meat, her husband, if he was at all a decent man would respect her boundaries. He does not have to agree with them but respect is vital.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


>


Yes and every time I peel an onion it cries..


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

OrangeCrush said:


> yes she does. YOU don't 'get' to tell someone what to say.
> 
> It doesn't matter WHY she doesn't want to eat certain things. It's completely disrespectful to 'trick' someone into putting something into his or her body that they do not want.


People leave things out of stories that work against them. 

If it doesn't matter then there is no reason to conceal it. When someone is asked and does not tell, it sounds even more like the omitted parts of the story matter.

Like lying. Saying you don't like the taste when that is just a lie. Exposing that lie gets you the same indignance that the cheater shows when you expose their lies about cheating. 

Why lie? With the mother in law from hell it was because she liked to make everyone feel bad about things they loved to do for themselves like raising our own pigs, lambs, chickens - even our well water. You name it - wasn't good enough for her. 

So sure, we put the well water into bottles and listened to her speech about how much better it was. We also brought in store bought meat for her. Because that is what she demanded. She got rheindeer sausage for breakfast and buffalo for supper. She didn't want our own pork, lamb, or chicken. 

Yes, she was livid about all of it. Because she was caught cold in her hypocrisy and lying.

This guy might be a prick. Might not be. Not enough information to tell.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

[QUOTEHave to say that as a vegetarian I would be mortified if my partner did something like this. I cook meat for him, I respect his choices in life, he cooks veggo for me and respects my choices in life.][/QUOTE]

Exactly...I cook MEAT for my husband and children including the occasional bloody steak..I do not try to bully them into giving it up.Doesnt MATTER how "passionate" I am about NOT eating that crap...I expect the same courtesy..


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> THEN he needs THERAPY...If her not eating ELK he takes as a personal rejection of HIM he needs HELP..If I grow a tomato garden and I am PASSIONATE about my tomato garden that gives me NO right right to trick my husband into eating tomatos because its a "personal rejection if he doesn't"..And if I do ? I need THERAPY/Who gives a **** how "he feels" ..what about how she feels? And vice versa..Its RUDE and immature..Oh MY tomato garden is my PASSION so I will LIE to my spouse who said I dont WANT any tomatos because I WANT my spouse to be a "part of that " AGAINST their expressed wishes!Or else I feel REJECTED!??????:scratchhead:


He was wrong. I don't think he needs therapy just yet. I think he just wanted his wife to give this a try and he did it really sneaky. People do things like this all the time. They want you to like what they like and what you to be apart of things that's important to them. His actions hurt and offended her. He should apologize. But first he has to understand the magnitude of how much this upset her. You don't have to make the man sound crazy to understand why the woman was hurt. This is not an attack on women in relationships. Take a deep breath...

Reactions like these are why I was being jestful in the first place.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> People leave things out of stories that work against them.
> 
> If it doesn't matter then there is no reason to conceal it. When someone is asked and does not tell, it sounds even more like the omitted parts of the story matter.
> 
> ...


But how is it hypocritical for example to say you dont want to eat Elk even IF you cant tell it apart taste wise from beef? Just like I was fine with eating chicken but not frog legs even though they tasted the same?I dont think thats hypocritical..


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Holland said:


> Maybe but the way the whole story reads to me is that he led her to believe it was beef so he lied. He knew she used to be a vegetarian and still had some boundaries but he crossed them anyway.
> This is a man that totally disrespected his wife.
> 
> Have to say that as a vegetarian I would be mortified if my partner did something like this. I cook meat for him, I respect his choices in life, he cooks veggo for me and respects my choices in life.
> ...




I don't think he realizes that, Holland. But I don't think that makes him horrible, based on that alone.

And we don't know how long this was going on. Maybe he felt like she would eat more meats if just gave them a try. I don't think he was being passive aggressive. I don't think he was trying to hurt her or indirectly spite her. I think he was just being really insensitive to how far she had come from a former vegetarian to eating meat. And he probably thought something along the lines of her needing to get over her pickiness because meat is meat. Point i'm trying to make is, I don't think this was a calculated attempt to be cruel to his wife. I think he was trying to get her to try something new and just didn't respect her wishes and boundaries. He probably has no idea how much this upset her.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> People leave things out of stories that work against them.
> 
> If it doesn't matter then there is no reason to conceal it. When someone is asked and does not tell, it sounds even more like the omitted parts of the story matter.
> 
> ...


The OP gave plenty of information about why she was upset about this.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> I don't think he was being passive aggressive. I don't think he was trying to hurt her or indirectly spite her.


But that's a TOTAL assumption the same as another person assuming he was trying to hurt her or indirectly spite her.Why is it O.K for you to assume hes NOT doing that but so wrong for others who assume he is?Why do you assume you are right?But and assume others are wrong based on the same information?


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> But that's a TOTAL assumption the same as another person assuming he was trying to hurt her or indirectly spite her.Why is it O.K for you to assume hes NOT doing that but so wrong for others who assume he is?Why do you assume you are right?But and assume others are wrong based on the same information?


Because they are not blanket statements. They are just how I feel. I don't state my opinions as facts. I personally disagree. To you, others are wrong. Do you really need to go on about this?


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> The OP gave plenty of information about why she was upset about this.


I agree...but her husband is a "nice guy" ..with a passion for hunting Elk (even though he doesnt hunt them)..worried about her health..wanting her to exapnd her "pallet" ..understanding her resistance to eating elk better than she herself did...wanting her to eat elk because its his passion even though he doesnt even hunt it..Everything but hes a liar..who tricked his own wife while she was down with the flu..and apparrently rarely even cooks for her at all ..feeding her what she thought was beef but instead an animal he knew she would not by choice eat..and and it was ALL out of the goodness of his heart.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> I agree...but her husband is a "nice guy" ..with a passion for hunting Elk (even though he doesnt hunt them)..worried about her health..wanting her to exapnd her "pallet" ..understanding her resistance to eating elk better than she herself did...wanting her to eat elk because its his passion even though he doesnt even hunt it..Everything but hes a liar..who tricked his own wife while she was down with the flu..and apparrently rarely even cooks for her at all ..feeding her what she thought was beef but instead an animal he knew she would not by choice eat..and and it was ALL out of the goodness of his heart.


So do you recommend divorce then?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> [/B]
> 
> I don't think he realizes that, Holland. But I don't think that makes him horrible, based on that alone.
> 
> And we don't know how long this was going on. Maybe he felt like she would eat more meats if just gave them a try. I don't think he was being passive aggressive. I don't think he was trying to hurt her or indirectly spite her. I think he was just being really insensitive to how far she had come from a former vegetarian to eating meat. And he probably thought something along the lines of her needing to get over her pickiness because meat is meat. Point i'm trying to make is, I don't think this was a calculated attempt to be cruel to his wife. I think he was trying to get her to try something new and just didn't respect her wishes and boundaries. He probably has no idea how much this upset her.


Quite possible and none of us will even know.

I still say it is a respect problem. For many being a vegetarian is a lifestyle, is encompasses mind, body and soul. A meat eater does not have to believe in this lifestyle but they must respect the others choices in life.

His need for her to try certain meats does not trump her need for boundaries while transitioning to a non vegetarian diet. He can't pull out the "dumb male" card on this one, it is a no brainer.

I really am not trying to be contrary FK, just putting it out there as a veggo, just the thought of a person that supposedly loved me, giving me a food that they know is against my wishes is horrifying.

I am pretty much the lone veggo in my circle but no one has ever disrespected my choices. There are plenty of jokes yes, but all meals prepared by others are done with love and respect. I just cannot comprehend that a man that loves his wife cannot put her needs above his on this very important issue.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

CCL said:


> I have a rather odd question. Or maybe it's been posted here before, but nevertheless here goes.
> 
> Last night my hubby cooked me a pot roast since I'd been battling the flu. He cooked it classic style with carrots and taters. This is a big deal since he very very rarely makes any dinner for me, I usually do it. When we were done eating, he asked if I liked it and I said yes. He said "you just ate your first Elk meat."
> 
> ...


He VERY rarely even cooks..and she is down with the flu..Yep..what a loving gesture..And was "proud" he "tricked her"..


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> For many being a vegetarian is a lifestyle, is encompasses mind, body and soul. A meat eater does not have to believe in this lifestyle but they must respect the others choices in life.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Holland said:


> Quite possible and none of us will even know.
> 
> I still say it is a respect problem. For many being a vegetarian is a lifestyle, is encompasses mind, body and soul. A meat eater does not have to believe in this lifestyle but they must respect the others choices in life.
> 
> ...


No I hear you. I just think a lot of meat eaters are insensitive and unaware to a vegetarians aversion from meat. Some of them just simply don't get it and don't think it's a big deal. And probably think you just haven't had meat cooked right:rofl:

Then have the nerve to be insulted when you don't eat their meat.

Sometimes people can do really stupid and hurtful stuff unintentionally. I guess we need more background on their marriage.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

[QUOTEjust the thought of a person that supposedly loved me, giving me a food that they know is against my wishes is horrifying.][/QUOTE]


Violating..and causes paranoia and insecurities .and with someone you are supposed to trust..in your OWN home..


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> But how is it hypocritical for example to say you dont want to eat Elk even IF you cant tell it apart taste wise from beef? Just like I was fine with eating chicken but not frog legs even though they tasted the same?I dont think thats hypocritical..


We just don't know what the story is. I have developed a keen eye for exactly what people say because of the study I have done.

She did not say "he told me it was beef". She also did not say what their conversations or agreements were about this. There may have been no agreement, no line in the sand drawn by her and it could even have been more or less a challenge that she could tell the difference if he did just this. 

Clearly the story you want is that she told her husband never to serve it to her, that she was morally opposed, and that he lied to her saying it was beef.

That could very well be the case. But I don't know. It looks to me like you are blinded by your own personal objections and don't even care what the story actually is.

Edit: I lived with a vegetarian for five years too and would never have even considered violating that. But the mother in law was a malicious liar and deserved to be exposed for what she was.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

FalconKing said:


> So do you recommend divorce then?


Really no other option, is there? And maybe some repeated tasering, too.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

She doesn't want to eat certain kind of meat and husband tricked her into eating it.She didn't give more info because it will turn this thread into debate about whether she should eat that meat or not.

I feel like people looking for explanation about why she doesn't eat certain kind of meat are just looking for excuse to derail this thread into "you should eat that meat because I eat it" type of discussions.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> No I hear you. I just think a lot of meat eaters are insensitive and unaware to a vegetarians aversion from meat. Some of them just simply don't get it and don't think it's a big deal. And probably think you just haven't had meat cooked right:rofl:
> 
> Then have the nerve to be insulted when you don't eat their meat.
> 
> Sometimes people can do really stupid and hurtful stuff unintentionally. I guess we need more background on their marriage.


and the funny thing is that according to my kids and my partner I cook the best Bolognese sauce ever. Makes me feel like chucking when I cook it but hey the things you do for love.

Lots of people don't "get it" when it comes to vegetarianism but that is fine. It really isn't a problem for me except when they want me to defend my choices, why should I, they don't have to defend their choices.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> We just don't know what the story is. I have developed a keen eye for exactly what people say because of the study I have done.
> 
> *She did not say "he told me it was beef".* She also did not say what their conversations or agreements were about this. There may have been no agreement, no line in the sand drawn by her and it could even have been more or less a challenge that she could tell the difference if he did just this.
> 
> ...


But the OP did say that her DH led her to believe it was beef. So either way her tricked her, a lie by omission is still a lie.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Holland said:


> and the funny thing is that according to my kids and my partner I cook the best Bolognese sauce ever. Makes me feel like chucking when I cook it but hey the things you do for love.
> 
> Lots of people don't "get it" when it comes to vegetarianism but that is fine. It really isn't a problem for me except when they want me to defend my choices, why should I, they don't have to defend their choices.


Or when they want to TRICK you into eating meat ..and get you to admit it "taste good"./.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Holland said:


> they don't have to defend their choices.


No empathy for people who have actually had to do that. 

Hunters take far, far more extreme amounts of loathing and contempt based upon ignorance and hypocrisy than vegetarians do. It is from meat eaters and vegetarians alike. 

Lie by omission matters when an agreement has been made for sure *Holland* which is why I am neutral on this. Like I said, he might be a prick.

On the other hand, exposing a lie or meeting the challenge of a taste test requires you not tell them. 

What is very interesting is that you do not even admit to any possibility whatsoever that there is more to the story that matters. That shows a real closed-mindedness by comparison to others who readily agree he might be a prick.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

[QUOTEHunters take far, far more extreme amounts of loathing and contempt based upon ignorance and hypocrisy than vegetarians do.][/QUOTE]

In YOUR perception..


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> No empathy for people who have actually had to do that.
> 
> Hunters take far, far more extreme amounts of loathing and contempt based upon ignorance and hypocrisy than vegetarians do. It is from meat eaters and vegetarians alike.
> 
> ...


You might care to actually read my replies. I have said to FK that his scenario is possible. But as you were keep making assumptions.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Wiserforit said:


> Hunters take far, far more extreme amounts of loathing and contempt based upon ignorance and hypocrisy than vegetarians do. It is from meat eaters and vegetarians alike.


Notwithstanding the fact that I could make a fair argument that the act of getting your meat via hunting is generally far more humane for the animal than what happens in the commercial meat industry.

The guy made a bonehead move, though I tend to agree with FalconKing's speculation that there wasn't any actual malice involved. But man, some of you are acting like you'd do far worse to him than you'd (apparently) do to an animal.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

dallasapple said:


> In YOUR perception..


You REALLY do not see the hypocrisy here, do you? :scratchhead:


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> You REALLY do not see the hypocrisy here, do you? :scratchhead:


No I really dont.:scratchhead:


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> Or when they want to TRICK you into eating meat ..and get you to admit it "taste good"./.


She knew it was meat..she didn't know the type. He didn't get her to admit it. She genuinely thought it tasted good. She admitted as much. He is still wrong but it sounds to me like your are morphing the incident into something that justifies your lividness. I think being upset for what "actually" happened is enough.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> The guy made a bonehead move, though I tend to agree with FalconKing's speculation that there wasn't any actual malice involved. But man, some of you are acting like you'd do far worse to him than you'd (apparently) do to an animal.


Not me..I wouldnt do what is done to the animals to any animal including a human here..Now I would smack some posters around here.Its actually very hard in fact to do "far worse" to any living creature than what is done to our animal food supply..Its that sickening..I think you hve to be sociopath (I guess thank god for meat eaters a certain % are born with the gene) to do what they do..


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> She knew it was meat..she didn't know the type. He didn't get her to admit it. She genuinely thought it tasted good. She admitted as much. He is still wrong but it sounds to me like your are morphing the incident into something that justifies your lividness. I think being upset for what "actually" happened is enough.


Point..it DOESNT matter if it tasted GOOD..What if he had cooked her MOTHER and it tasted good??? GET the point please..


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> In YOUR perception..


Here is a survey indicating only 9% of people are opposed to vegetarianism:

AFC - Attitude Towards Vegetarianism

About twice that in these surveys are opposed to hunting:

http://www.responsivemanagement.com/download/reports/NAMWC_Public_Opinion_Hunting.pdf

There are anti-hunting groups constantly lobbying for making hunting illegal and even going so far as to interfere in legal hunts (a crime) whereas there are no groups lobbying to make vegetarianism illegal or trying to stop people from picking cabbage in their gardens. 

I've never heard people complain about it not being "sporting" enough to pick vegetables out of a garden or buy them in the store, WTF kind of challenge is that? But it is endlessly repeated about hunting as if it should matter. 

But that is all obvious to anyone not living under a rock, so it's pretty clear what kind of bias we are working with here for you.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Holland said:


> You might care to actually read my replies. I have said to FK that his scenario is possible. But as you were keep making assumptions.


Responding to your posts to me, and saying here that you think this scenario possible is just great thanks, so I withdraw that comment happily.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> Point..it DOESNT matter if it tasted GOOD..What if he had cooked her MOTHER and it tasted good??? GET the point please..


If you want me to get the point, use the facts. And people agree that what he did wasn't right. We just don't think he should be castrated.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> In YOUR perception..


Here is a survey indicating only 9% of people are opposed to vegetarianism:

AFC - Attitude Towards Vegetarianism

About twice that in these surveys are opposed to hunting:

http://www.responsivemanagement.com/download/reports/NAMWC_Public_Opinion_Hunting.pdf

There are anti-hunting groups constantly lobbying for making hunting illegal and even going so far as to interfere in legal hunts (a crime) whereas there are no groups lobbying to make vegetarianism illegal or trying to stop people from picking cabbage in their gardens. 

I've never heard people complain about it not being "sporting" enough to pick vegetables out of a garden or buy them in the store, WTF kind of challenge is that? But it is endlessly repeated about hunting as if it should matter. 

But that is all obvious to anyone not living under a rock, so it's pretty clear what kind of bias we are working with here for you.[/QUOTE]

The ones that LOBBY against hunting are villanized are they not?Including by you here today?

And YES there is a difference in picking a cucumber off a vine and blowing the brains out of a living breathing animal..There always will be ..sorry for that its not my fault..its a matter of fact.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Wiserforit said:


> Responding to your posts to me, and saying here that you think this scenario possible is just great thanks, so I withdraw that comment happily.


I do fully concede that there may be nothing more to this than him trying to do something he thought was OK but being a dill about it. Yes very possible. I was just trying to say that from a veggo's POV this is one of those issues that is more complicated.

Like all stories here (mine included) there are 2 sides and we are all clouded by our own experiences and perceptions.

My partner does "bone head" stuff so do I. The only thing that matters is the intention behind it, that we do not know with this story and we probably never will.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> Here is a survey indicating only 9% of people are opposed to vegetarianism:
> 
> AFC - Attitude Towards Vegetarianism
> 
> ...




Boy did I screw that post up!

Our names are reversed. It is me quoting you and then me posting the surveys.

I think it was space aliens.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

A vegetarian who eats beef isn't a vegetarian. While the distinction between elk and cow might make sense to a person, it matters little to whatever's in the pot. If she gets hungry enough, she'll eat elk, cow, buffalo, snakes, rats, and the family pet. Discriminating tastes are a luxury of the well-fed. Is there an offense here? Sure, if that's what you're looking for.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

CCL said:


> You probably think this is no big deal, but I have refused to eat Elk, Buffalo and a few other animals due to reasons I won't go into here because those reasons are not the point.


Without knowing your reasons I'm undoubtedly missing the real point.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> I think it was space aliens.


Hmm...space aliens..do those taste good???like a cucumber in ranch dressing???


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Im so horny I would eat an elk....or an oryx....or a zebra...or a hippo. Wait...not a hippo. I do have limits.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Thoreau said:


> Im so horny I would eat an elk....or an oryx....or a zebra...or a hippo. Wait...not a hippo. I do have limits.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Meatist.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Thoreau said:


> Im so horny I would eat an elk....or an oryx....or a zebra...or a hippo. Wait...not a hippo. I do have limits.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hey wait a minute..are you judging people that like to blow the heads off of hippos and then devour their flesh? Are you a "hippo- crite" ??? Sounds like it..


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Opportunist.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

I would eat a raw radish with dirt on it..


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> I would eat a raw radish with dirt on it..


I wouldn't. 

Dirt or meat I don't know which I would prefer to eat if it came to saving my. Death might be the best option.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Holland said:


> I wouldn't.
> 
> Dirt or meat I don't know which I would prefer to eat if it came to saving my. Death might be the best option.


I said "radish" with dirt on it..not just dirt..


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Has this thread degenerated into a debate on hunting? Or is this a debate on vegan vs. non-vegan diets?

I'm going to try to address the OPs question. If this has been mentioned I apologize but I skipped past all the rhetoric.

OP you said your doctor advised you to change your diet. It is known that game meats are healthier than grocery store corporate grown meat. Is it possible your husband wanted to introduce you to game meats for health reasons?


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

bfree said:


> Has this thread degenerated into a debate on hunting? Or is this a debate on vegan vs. non-vegan diets?
> 
> I'm going to try to address the OPs question. If this has been mentioned I apologize but I skipped past all the rhetoric.
> 
> OP you said your doctor advised you to change your diet. It is known that game meats are healthier than grocery store corporate grown meat. Is it possible your husband wanted to introduce you to game meats for health reasons?


If he did he shouldn't have lied.Otherwise I agree with the reasoning.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> I said "radish" with dirt on it..not just dirt..


Oh yeah the radish is all good, the dirt yuk. Anti dirt here


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> If he did he shouldn't have lied.Otherwise I agree with the reasoning.


Maybe he felt he needed to deceive her to prove the point. I know in my marriage about the only thing that could get me to lie would be my wife's health. I recall one time she needed to see a doctor but kept refusing to call and make an appointment. So I called and got the doctor's office on the phone and then handed it to her saying "its for you dear." Since they were already on the phone she really had no choice but to make the appointment. She was mad at me but I'd do it again.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Thoreau said:


> Im so horny I would eat an elk....or an oryx....or a zebra...or a hippo. Wait...not a hippo. I do have limits.


Your Freudian slip is showing!!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

dallasapple said:


> Not me..I wouldnt do what is done to the animals to any animal including a human here..Now I would smack some posters around here.Its actually very hard in fact to do "far worse" to any living creature than what is done to our animal food supply..Its that sickening..I think you hve to be sociopath (I guess thank god for meat eaters a certain % are born with the gene) to do what they do..


Now I agree that the way many farm/ranch raised animals are treated very badly when it comes time kill them. But killing an animal by hunting, when the hunter knows what they are doing, it very humane. It's certainly a lot more humane than what happens in the slaughter house or when the poor animal is taken down my something like a wolf, lion, etc.


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## Curse of Millhaven (Feb 16, 2013)

CCL said:


> Sorry I'm at work and can only sneak back occasionally.
> 
> I was a vegetarian for 13 years, starting eating meat a couple of years ago due to a doctor recommendation. I've slowly introduced hamburgers, steak, pork into my diet and still have some issues with chicken (texture).
> 
> ...


I’m not going to cast aspersions on your husband’s character for feeding you an animal he knew you didn’t want to eat, but I would like to commiserate and say that I completely understand your reaction. I would be very upset and hurt that my basic right to choose what I would like to ingest (whether ethically motivated or for mere taste) was taken away from me and my wants were blatantly disregarded and disrespected. 

Like you I’ve always loved animals and was a strict vegetarian for 14 years and am now a vegan. The path from omnivore to vegan was definitely a slow process of elimination and at times was fluid with certain animals or animal products being phased back in or out again. I totally understand your statement that chicken is still out due to the texture; I haven’t eaten any meat (other than a brief backslide to seafood) for 23 years and when I did phase back to pescatarian for a few years I literally could not stomach anything other than albacore tuna or shrimp. All other seafood was too “flesh-like” and “fishy” and would cause embarrassing and painful “Neptune’s revenge”, shall we say. Transitioning from an ethical vegetarian to a meat eater (or back again) is a personal journey and your decisions on which animals you wish to exclude/ include in your diet do not have to be understood by others, but your choices should be, at the least, respected by those closest to you. This process is not silly or ridiculous; I admire your convictions and completely respect your decision to eat certain animals again. Based on your posts, it seems you extend that same courtesy to your husband and his choice to eat game animals but that he does not afford you the same consideration. He knew you did not want to eat elk, that you are ethically opposed to eating them as you root for them during hunting season, and he decided to take your choice away from you by “leading” you to believe the roast you were eating was beef. He crossed a line in the sand that you had clearly drawn and disregarded your personal boundaries for whatever reason. I would not be ok with this and would definitely discuss my feelings with him in as rational and civilized a manner as I was able (i.e. I would open my mouth and the scorching floodgates of hell would be unleashed). 

I had an experience similar to yours when I was in my teens and I reacted pretty much the same way you have. I first tried to become vegetarian when I was ten and I began by decreasing my consumption of pork and beef while continuing to eat fish and chicken. I struggled with it for years and when I was in my teens I was to the point that I would have an occasional hamburger or a slice of pepperoni pizza a couple of times a month; always my goal was to decrease slowly to the point of elimination. Everyone close to me knew this. My father’s family was very much into hunting and would never fail to harangue me for my choices or try to convince me to eat whatever they had hunted despite my clear refusal to eat any “game” animals. One time they got me to eat some salami since I was still occasionally eating pepperoni pizza; I foolishly trusted they would not lead me astray since I had been pretty clear on the whole "I won't eat Bambi or Thumper" front. Well, I ate the slice of salami and everyone cackled and burst out “you just ate bear!” Shocked and demoralized I promptly went to the bathroom and forced myself to vomit. They thought this was _HILARIOUS_. I was hurt, betrayed, disgusted, and wanted to roast them all with my Carrie-like powers (“they’re all gonna laugh at you!!”). Not only did they blatantly disrespect my beliefs simply because they didn’t coincide with their own, but they had taken advantage of my trust for their own amusement and as a result I had unwittingly eaten an animal I had never intended to eat. I guess I should have included Smokey the Bear in my "game animals are off the table" manifesto. And silly or not, the thing that bothered me the most was not their deception or disregard for me, but that I had now ingested a bear and would never be able to think of myself the same way or look at bears without always remembering that I had eaten one. God those people were fvckers…I should have torched them when I had the chance. 

Anyway, sorry for the long, rambling post. The take away is this: yes it is a big deal and I (and many others) understand your feelings of anger and betrayal. I hope you work this all out with your husband and that you both come to a better understanding about this issue which is obviously very important to you. Good luck!


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## elizabethdennis (Jan 16, 2013)

northernlights said:


> That is NOT ok. I mean, unless your reason was that you don't like the taste, and he was trying to blind taste test you on it. I've kind of done that to my husband before by sneaking quinoa into the couscous.
> 
> But if it was more along the lines of tricking you into eating something you have an ethical objection to, then that's a sh!tty thing to do to a person. I'd be furious.


I agree! If he did that just to test taste you, then I think you could let it pass. But if your reason for not eating such meat is beyond disliking the taste, or if it has something to do with your personal beliefs, or whatsoever, then I think he is just way beyond the line.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

bfree said:


> Maybe he felt he needed to deceive her to prove the point. I know in my marriage about the only thing that could get me to lie would be my wife's health. I recall one time she needed to see a doctor but kept refusing to call and make an appointment. So I called and got the doctor's office on the phone and then handed it to her saying "its for you dear." Since they were already on the phone she really had no choice but to make the appointment. She was mad at me but I'd do it again.


But what point was he proving if she had decided to not eat elk for personal ethical or moral reasons?The only point he proved was that he could fool her into believing she was eating beef when she was actually eating elk which she did not want to eat.And I don't buy into the health thing in this case.Its ridiculous to me to suggest that it was imperative for this OP's immediate health to eat a serving of elk meat.Or for her to ever eat it again for that matter.The doctor did not prescribe her "elk".If the line of thinking is its better for you than beef so what..So is lean pork.Which she is O.K with eating.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Oh Lord.....he "snuck" elk meat into the dinner because if he had told her the truth she would not have eaten the dinner. 

I used to "sneak" veggies into my children's meal & if I told them the truth, they would not have eaten the meal.

Who here would be happy if the restaurant "snuck" road kill, dog or cat into their meal when filet mignon was ordered? I understand that comparing elk to road kill is comparing apples to oranges, however all of theses, including the OP's scenarios are sneaky.

The type of meat (& it's benefits) are irrelevant. It was a sneaky, childish move & it is wrong.

The OP has every reason to be upset. I would be also.


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## Fledgling (Feb 3, 2013)

What I am taking from the thread is that the OP was sneaky. It's one thing to sneak veggies in to kids it's another to trick your adult wife into doing something similar. That being said this is not the end all be all of this marriage. We all do stupid childish things in our marriage and we hope that our loved ones have the capacity to forgive us and move on and not make a mountain out of a mole hill. 

Even if the OP can say with some certainty that this is a pattern of dismissive behaviour is this the straw that breaks the camel's back? It doesn't appear so. It would be my advice to make a brief, direct statement about how offending the action was to her husband. Don't lay into him, just inform him that you don't appreciate being treated like a child and if he should do something similar in the future that you will assume that it was his intention to hurt your feelings. The end. Do not allow arguments or a turning of the tables. It is what it is. Then DROP it. There's no point in turning it into a contest of wills.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> We all do stupid childish things in our marriage and we hope that our loved ones have the capacity to forgive us and move on and not make a mountain out of a mole hill.


I agree except he has to say it was wrong not "thats silly stop making a mountain out of a mole hill"..maybe him viewing it as a mole hill (minimizing her feelings over it) turns it into a mountain.She said he was "proud"..If he doesnt think he even did a darn thing wrong how can she forgive him let alone trust him not to do similar again?

If he said that was stupid and childish I see that now I'm sorry I wont do that again..then of course she should forgive him and move on..I think though she eluded 1) he was "proud" but more interestingly she said or is this "another " one of his controlling tactics..(In her Op)..


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> But what point was he proving if she had decided to not eat elk for personal ethical or moral reasons?The only point he proved was that he could fool her into believing she was eating beef when she was actually eating elk which she did not want to eat.And I don't buy into the health thing in this case.Its ridiculous to me to suggest that it was imperative for this OP's immediate health to eat a serving of elk meat.Or for her to ever eat it again for that matter.The doctor did not prescribe her "elk".If the line of thinking is its better for you than beef so what..So is lean pork.Which she is O.K with eating.


The point is that we are getting one side of a disagreement here and unless her husband comes on TAM and discusses his reasons we are just flailing away in the dark. There could be many reasons why he did what he did but we aren't ever going to know why. Was it a silly thing to do? Probably. But I can think of many better and more important hills to die upon than this one.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Your Freudian slip is showing!!


Must have been. Damn autocorrect. Meant to type "hungry". :rofl:


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

[QUOTEAm I over reacting or is this just another sign of selfish controlling behavior?][/QUOTE]

Here is is "another sign".

And is he the one telling her to "lighten up"?If he is that's part of the problem.It minimizes the importance of him understanding its not "light" to her.Its not "no biggie" just because he thinks it should be .And specifically on this topic.Many here seem to "get it"..as far as not wanting to eat certain ANIMALS...its a personal conviction for many.Its mean to trick someone like that then tell them they have that animal in their stomach now..HaHA!


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> [But I can think of many better and more important hills to die upon than this one./QUOTE]
> 
> That's great that you can..but everyone of us has our own HILLS that we can think to die on .There are lines that my husband has crossed with me that others would say they would have LEFT him over it that I stayed..I have different hills to die than they do and vice versa.He has also put up with some of my crap that others would not have..That's not the point.
> 
> Besides that she never said she was upset enough to leave him over this.Just "should I ligthen up" and that ends up being the question that you can only answer from your perspective.How "you would feel" ..Some feel like 'its kind of "silly" ..others describe they would feel a pretty deep violation..


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## Fledgling (Feb 3, 2013)

dallasapple said:


> I agree except he has to say it was wrong not "thats silly stop making a mountain out of a mole hill"..maybe him viewing it as a mole hill (minimizing her feelings over it) turns it into a mountain.She said he was "proud"..If he doesnt think he even did a darn thing wrong how can she forgive him let alone trust him not to do similar again?
> 
> If he said that was stupid and childish I see that now I'm sorry I wont do that again..then of course she should forgive him and move on..I think though she eluded 1) he was "proud" but more interestingly she said or is this "another " one of his controlling tactics..(In her Op)..


My problem with this line of reasoning is that if we all waited for people to validate us or agree with us on every little thing we'd get lonely pretty fast. He could say that he thinks he was childish but does that mean he believes it? Doubtful. Then he'd just be patronizing her. When she tells him how he made her feel it's not up for discussion. It is what it is. If he does it again, having been told pointblank that behaviour like that is unacceptable, THEN she has more reason to get upset, imho. But to get into a contest of wills over this is simply counterproductive.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Wow, you all love drama huh?


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> The point is that we are getting one side of a disagreement here and unless her husband comes on TAM and discusses his reasons we are just flailing away in the dark. There could be many reasons why he did what he did but we aren't ever going to know why.


Who CARES what his reasons were it was WRONG period.O.K I TAKE that back..if she was malnourished to the point her life hung in the balance..and Elk was the only food available to continue to sustain her life and she was refusing to eat it? I would sympathise with him and admit I would do the same .

I think about those people that survived a horrible plane crash on top of a snow covered mountain and were stranded there for months.No one was even looking for them anymore they were presumed dead..they forced themselves to eat small bits of the dead humans to stay alive..Some wouldnt eat it ..they died.I wouldnt crtisize the ones who ate it ...or the ones that chose not too...I dont know what i would have done..I suspect I would have eaten it...and wanted my loved ones too as well if they were with me..and I "think" I would have been O.K if I knew they might eat my dead body to stay alive if I died.

O.K if thats the case ?Sure she is being stubborn to be mad at him for wanting her to live rather than die by eating an elk..


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> > [But I can think of many better and more important hills to die upon than this one./QUOTE]
> >
> > That's great that you can..but everyone of us has our own HILLS that we can think to die on .There are lines that my husband has crossed with me that others would say they would have LEFT him over it that I stayed..I have different hills to die than they do and vice versa.He has also put up with some of my crap that others would not have..That's not the point.
> >
> ...


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

bfree said:


> Wow, you all love drama huh?


As far as I go I love my right to decide for myself what I eat and don't eat since I am privledged to get that choice for myself.If I lose that right like if I go to prison for committing a crime? Then I will have to go ahead and eat whatever they serve me If I want to survive.But I'm at home I'm not in prison .

If its "drama' to want the right to choose for myself what I eat then O.K I "l for one love drama"...

Just in case you were including me in "you all" if not..never mind.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> Next you'll be comparing it with being raped.


No I wont.But I would categorize it as a violation of her free will to choose for herself .

I have been raped.I know the difference between that and someone "tricking " you to eat something they decided for you that you should eat without your consent.They are both violatations but on way differrent levels.Thats why rape is considered a "violent crime" and carries a prisons term..and serving your wife elk isnt and doesnt.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

bfree said:


> Wow, you all love drama huh?


not all of us. Some of us have just given up trying to produce anything reasonable out of this thread.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> not all of us. Some of us have just given up trying to produce anything reasonable out of this thread.


Including the OP; she bailed a couple of days ago. 

Now the only point this thread serves is to give some folks something to be mad about.

Edit: Haha, oops. Welcome back, CCL. Sounds like things worked out. Nice when you start a thread that generates so much interest, eh?


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> I do agree with that..if hes not "normally" disrespectful like that or otherwise some of a control freak..Yeah this isnt the end of the world but I would want an apology and and clear understanding to never do something like that again .Him "wanting her to expand her palate" is too bad.its HER PALATE he can enjoy his the way he chooses and she can enjoy hers the way she chooses.that is very personal and we each should get to choose for ourselves what we eat and what we DONT eat.I dont get to decide that for my husband just because "I want him" to "expand his pallet".
> 
> And you are talking to a girl that has eaten frog legs..ostrich..buffalo (my favorite burger) quail .. raw oysters..squid ..octopus...raw fish ..raw beef...inestines..etc..


This is the first and only time he's ever done this. It's also the last. He did apologize and his reasons were he "really wanted me to try it." I explained to him that it is my choice what to eat, regardless of reason. He hates olives, feta cheese, goat cheese and a few other items and I do not force him to eat it nor do I hide it in his food. 

Yes, it was very disrespectful and he acknowledged it. There are times he thinks people should think/feel/act as he does and that is something that he needs to work on.


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

Sorry it took me a day or two to get back to everyone. I'm still reading all the responses and I'm amazed at the amount of response. Thank you to all for weighing in.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

CCL said:


> This is the first and only time he's ever done this. It's also the last. He did apologize and his reasons were he "really wanted me to try it." I explained to him that it is my choice what to eat, regardless of reason. He hates olives, feta cheese, goat cheese and a few other items and I do not force him to eat it nor do I hide it in his food.
> 
> Yes, it was very disrespectful and he acknowledged it. There are times he thinks people should think/feel/act as he does and that is something that he needs to work on.


:smthumbup:

Nice to hear from you on this..

I get the "there are times he thinks people should think /feel/act as he does " and be grateful he acknowledges he needs to work on that.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Soooooo....would you eat it again now that you know how it tastes? What about farm raised venison?


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> Thats true..but I cant espcape he knew she didnt want to eat Elk.He knew it was Elk and he knew she didn't know it was Elk.I'M "guessing" he had to know she did NOT think it was Elk..
> 
> She needs to clarify...


yes, he knew I thought it was beef.


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

bfree said:


> Maybe he felt he needed to deceive her to prove the point. I know in my marriage about the only thing that could get me to lie would be my wife's health. I recall one time she needed to see a doctor but kept refusing to call and make an appointment. So I called and got the doctor's office on the phone and then handed it to her saying "its for you dear." Since they were already on the phone she really had no choice but to make the appointment. She was mad at me but I'd do it again.


He reasoning had nothing to do with my health. He "really wanted me to try it" and that's the only reason. Plus probably to prove to me that it tastes good.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

CCL said:


> He reasoning had nothing to do with my health. He "really wanted me to try it" and that's the only reason. Plus probably to prove to me that it tastes good.


I'm sorry..but that was my first guess (what you just confirmed)..it wasn't your "health"..


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

bfree said:


> dallasapple said:
> 
> 
> > Maybe she didn't state her objections clearly enough.
> ...


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

CCL said:


> bfree said:
> 
> 
> > I couldn't have been clear enough. Last July we were in Colorado and saw several elk on the side of the road. They're beautiful animals and hubby said something like "they make good eating" and I mentioned then that I would not eat such a majestic creature.
> ...


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## CCL (Aug 27, 2012)

Thoreau said:


> Soooooo....would you eat it again now that you know how it tastes? What about farm raised venison?


Probably not. There was one response here from someone who was duped into eating bear and he or she said they can't take back the fact they ate it. I totally get that now.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

CCL said:


> He reasoning had nothing to do with my health. He "really wanted me to try it" and that's the only reason. Plus probably to prove to me that it tastes good.


See that's why I said he was probably proud. It stroked his ego. I don't know why people were saying he was proud because he lied to you. I don't think you are married to an evil mastermind. Just a man who wants to be right and probably has a strong tendency to convince others to see things his way. That can be worked on. Trying to understand why he did it is not the same as saying it was ok for him doing it though. I have to make that disclaimer. Because apparently I'm not supposed to be doing that. Just gaslight you into engaging into some type of conflict with your husband because of his manipulative and controlling behavior.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Okay so CCL he's never done this before, you talked to him, he apologized and said he was going to work on it. So what is the problem exactly?


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> See that's why I said he was probably proud. It stroked his ego. I don't know why people were saying he was proud because he lied to you. I don't think you are married to an evil mastermind. Just a man who wants to be right and probably has a strong tendency to convince others to see things his way. That can be worked on. Trying to understand why he did it is not the same as saying it was ok for him doing it though. I have to make that disclaimer. Because apparently I'm not supposed to be doing that. Just gaslight you into engaging into some type of conflict with your husband because of his manipulative and controlling behavior.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





He had no concern with her health..cirvcumvented her right to choose what she eats or doesn't.And was proud he tricked her.Its not like I or others never tried to "understand that".I for one understand that perfectly.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

CCL said:


> bfree said:
> 
> 
> > I couldn't have been clear enough. Last July we were in Colorado and saw several elk on the side of the road. They're beautiful animals and hubby said something like "they make good eating" and I mentioned then that I would not eat such a majestic creature.
> ...


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

dallasapple said:


> He had no concern with her health..cirvcumvented her right to choose what she eats or doesn't.And was proud he tricked her.Its not like I or others never tried to "understand that".I for one understand that perfectly.


I can see why you used the confused emicon. You quoted my post but didn't really address it. I didn't say he had concern for her health, ok he didn't. You just explained how she has the right to eat what she wants when I didn't say anything about that. She even said herself why her husband wanted to be right. Which is what I quoted in my post when I speculated why he is proud. She also said her husband apologized earlier. You said your husband has done worse than this yet you forgave him. Why do you need to believe her husband had the worst intentions? She even said he has never done that before. You want be right so bad you are not even acknowledging things she already said. Dallasapple trying to understand someone's thought process doesn't mean you agree with them. It's not as black and white as her husband is bad and she is good. In this instance he made a bad decision. I think you should read about conflict resolutions. I mean....you have been banned a few times.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> I can see why you used the confused emicon. You quoted my post but didn't really address it. I didn't say he had concern for her health, ok he didn't. You just explained how she has the right to eat what she wants when I didn't say anything about that. She even said herself why her husband wanted to be right. Which is what I quoted in my post when I speculated why he is proud. She also said her husband apologized earlier. You said your husband has done worse than this yet you forgave him. Why do you need to believe her husband had the worst intentions? She even said he has never done that before. You want be right so bad you are not even acknowledging things she already said. Dallasapple trying to understand someone's thought process doesn't mean you agree with them. It's not as black and white as her husband is bad and she is good. In this instance he made a bad decision. I think you should read about conflict resolutions. I mean....you have been banned a few times.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yup, sometimes people just need to let things go. From the tenor in this thread I thought this woman was a vegan and her husband strapped her to a chair and was force feeding her White Castle. I mean if every stupid decision was thought of as a dealbreaker we would have a 50% divorce rate in this country. Oh wait.....


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