# My wife isn't funny....



## NotLaughing (Sep 1, 2013)

...Which wouldn't be such a big deal if she wasn't actively trying to become a stand up comedian. She runs her jokes by me and I think they're awful and I just have no idea what to do. She's starting to get upset because she can definitely perceive that I'm not entertained... I want to support my wife and I want her to be happy and feel good about what she's doing, but I can't for the life of me fake finding something funny that I don't find funny. She'd know I was faking it. I'm a professional musician and I'd never want my wife to tell me my work is good if it's not, but she keeps looking to me for validation and I don't know what to say to her! How do I handle this touchy situation?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

let her try some comedy clubs and fail.

why dose she think shes funny. Is she the life of the party? dose she tell jokes to her friends?

some time failing is ok.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

Maybe you guys have different ideas of what is "funny"?


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## NotLaughing (Sep 1, 2013)

we do have different ideas of funny. she goes to open mics and keeps going back so obviously someone likes it. and i'm totally down with her going and being part of that and working on it, i just don't like it. i find her jokes to be contrived, dirty and raunchy for dirtiness and raunchiness's sake, and just kind of lowest common denominator type comedy. it's not my bag at all. but she'll present this stuff for me and want a favorable reaction and i just don't have one. i guess what i'm asking is am i wrong here? should i just smile and fake a laugh? that feels like i'm doing her a disservice if she's really serious about working on it.


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

She is funny, just not to you because you have a different sense of humor. George Carlin was one of the most successful comedians of all time and my BIL doesn't like him at all for the same reason you don't like your wife's humor. Be supportive but let her know the truth so she knows what to expect.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

NotLaughing said:


> we do have different ideas of funny. she goes to open mics and keeps going back so obviously someone likes it. and i'm totally down with her going and being part of that and working on it, i just don't like it. i find her jokes to be contrived, dirty and raunchy for dirtiness and raunchiness's sake, and just kind of lowest common denominator type comedy. it's not my bag at all. but she'll present this stuff for me and want a favorable reaction and i just don't have one. i guess what i'm asking is am i wrong here? should i just smile and fake a laugh? that feels like i'm doing her a disservice if she's really serious about working on it.


I totally get this. I also don't like raunchy humor.....

What I think you should do is just tell her, not in a nasty or judgemental way, that you have different sense of humors- and her "stage humor" isn't your thing.

Then you should work on some inside jokes... separate the personal from work if that makes sense.

It's kind of like if you had certain jokes you would tell "the guys" in a locker room, but use other humor around your girlfriend.

I think it's okay not to be 100% on the same page regarding these things. You can still support her..


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

99% Chance shes unfunny since every female comedian I've seen has been a horrible hack or have had bland uninteresting material.


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## NotLaughing (Sep 1, 2013)

oh come on, gilda radner, madeline kahn....


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

NotLaughing said:


> oh come on, gilda radner, madeline kahn....


ZZZZZZ.:sleeping:


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## NotLaughing (Sep 1, 2013)

what are you even doing on this forum?


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Quant said:


> 99% Chance shes unfunny since every female comedian I've seen has been a horrible hack or have had bland uninteresting material.


Right.

Or perhaps you just don't like women, and critique them harshly. 

There are a lot of female comedians that people find funny. 

It would be like saying there are no insightful empathetic men. Just because you aren't insightful or empathetic doesn't mean there aren't lots of other insightful empathetic men around. 

In fact if I was married to you I may be sure of it.  

You sound pretty broken.


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

99% chance he's got marital problems.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

Nope my marriage is doing good I just find female comics uninteresting but my favorite comic is Doug Stanhope so I guess my tastes are divergent from the norm.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

I have respect for a lot of comedians.

I also don't mind swearing or some sex talk.. but wow some people take this stuff super far.

I LOVE comedians that make you think for a second.

Have you guys seen Team America or some parts of South Park (where they are not been blatant) it's such a great skill. Almost like an inside joke.

I think this guy should be proud- she is standing there and putting herself out there for people, that takes GUTS.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Quant said:


> Nope my marriage is doing good I just find female comics uninteresting but my favorite comic is Doug Stanhope so I guess my tastes are divergent from the norm.


:sleeping::sleeping::sleeping:

People who are dismissive of half of the population bore the sh!t out of me.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> :sleeping::sleeping::sleeping:
> 
> People who are dismissive of half of the population bore the sh!t out of me.


If you find me a female comic of interest I will change my mind until then female comics are uninteresting to me you may like them but I don't have to.Like I'm not interested in having sex with Brad Pitt even though hes considered handsome.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I got this said:


> She is funny, just not to you because you have a different sense of humor. George Carlin was one of the most successful comedians of all time and my BIL doesn't like him at all for the same reason you don't like your wife's humor. Be supportive but let her know the truth so she knows what to expect.


Carlin, lowest common denominator humor?

Carlin, while raunchy is one of the most intellectualized comedians I've ever heard.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Quant said:


> If you find me a female comic of interest I will change my mind until then female comics are uninteresting to me you may like them but I don't have to.Like I'm not interested in having sex with Brad Pitt even though hes considered handsome.


I'm not interested in having sex with Brad Pitt either. But I don't dismiss all men in any area as not knowing or being unable to do something. Unless they can't possibly physically experience something. The same goes for women. 

To me it just shows a dislike for women, and inability to see past your prejudice.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I'm not interested in having sex with Brad Pitt either. But I don't dismiss all men in any area as not knowing or being unable to do something. Unless they can't possibly physically experience something. The same goes for women.
> 
> To me it just shows a dislike for women, and inability to see past your prejudice.


Its a obvious observation based off of logic I haven't seen one therefor it doesn't exist I'm the same way with unicorns its called reasoning.I'm using Bayesian reasoning to come to a probabilistic judgement I haven't seen one therefor it doesn't exist I may be wrong I'm open to new data to change my observation.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Quant said:


> Its a obvious observation based off of logic I haven't seen one therefor it doesn't exist I'm the same way with unicorns its called reasoning.


:sleeping::sleeping::sleeping:

To the OP, really dirt humour isn't my thing, but I love comedy. 
Others may find your wife very funny.

What comedians do you find funny?


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> :sleeping::sleeping::sleeping:
> 
> To the OP, really dirt humour isn't my thing, but I love comedy.
> Others may find your wife very funny.
> ...


Coherent argument with tight reasoning.I did stand up for a year and a half while at MIT I was mediocre but I think I have good taste in comics I'm really just saying I haven't seen one but I am open to changing my mind.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

Quant, you are entitled to your opinion... it was just a bit rude.

What about women like Tina Fey?


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

bunny23 said:


> Quant, you are entitled to your opinion... it was just a bit rude.
> 
> What about women like Tina Fey?


She as no insight into the world that is unique and she does sketch comedy not stand up.Bill Burr,Louis CK,Doug Stanhope,Bill Hicks,Richard Pryor and George Carlin are the gods of comedy to me they have a unique vision of the world and craft their performances around that.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

Well Louis CK now has a show...

But okay.

See back to the original point- we all have a different idea of what is funny


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## NotLaughing (Sep 1, 2013)

Quant said:


> I haven't seen one therefor it doesn't exist


lol this is the worst 'logic and reasoning' i've ever heard.


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

Quant said:


> Its a obvious observation based off of logic I haven't seen one therefor it doesn't exist


Oh my!

I'm so sorry for the blinders that "they" have put on you. Have you ever *seen*... a shark? A grizzly bear? A french man? A human heart beat?

I'm sorry, man. Real sorry. Your life must be so empty.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Maybe Quant's Aspergers syndrome is partly responsible for his rather adolescent misogyny. But that has nothing to do with the OP's question.

I know what you mean about raunchy humor for the sake of being raunchy. I don't find it funny either. It's probably a lot easier to do that than to come up with something more original.

That said, I've sure been in comedy clubs where the drunk crowd ate that stuff up.

Can you just tell your wife that you're proud of her for having the guts to try this but that your sense of humor is just too different from hers for you to serve as a proper test audience?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I don't know about your wife, but your first sentence made me laugh.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

One of the biggest regrets in my life was not going to see George Carlin when he came to town when I was in college. Paying for the tickets would have been a stretch, but ... I went to an Honor Society induction instead. 

Also, I've never seen France with my own eyes, therefore, I'm calling BS that it exists. I mean, think of all those people all over the world believing in things that they've never personally seen. I mean, that's deep man. So is believing the Eiffel Tower is real when I've never myself seen it on par with believing in a deity you haven seen? Can I say, I have faith in France?

And, Qaunt, no offense, but you went to MIT and your forum icon is about Applied Mathematics, I'm thinking the kinds of jokes that might get told at stand-up at -MIT- might not be exactly everyone's cup of tea, so to speak. So - using that as a basis for having "insider knowledge" on what is funny - not so much.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

NotLaughing,

I wonder if you could take a different approach. Find some comedy that you find funny. See if you can influence her to at least try doing it for you.

This might give you can opportunity for her to stretch her routine. And it might open an avenue for you to discuss what that you find x funny while her y is, well not your cuppa.

I've done things like and it's worked out. It opens dialogue and introduces new ideas.

I'm with you with the type of humor you say she's into. I cannot get that stuff either.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Starstarfish said:


> And, Qaunt, no offense, but you went to MIT and your forum icon is about Applied Mathematics, I'm thinking the kinds of jokes that might get told at stand-up at -MIT- might not be exactly everyone's cup of tea, so to speak. So - using that as a basis for having "insider knowledge" on what is funny - not so much.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

My apologies I did not mean to be rude.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Starstarfish said:


> One of the biggest regrets in my life was not going to see George Carlin when he came to town when I was in college. Paying for the tickets would have been a stretch, but ... I went to an Honor Society induction instead.


George Carlin was here in NM at one of the casinos a few years back. we got to see him live. It was wroth every moment. He's definitely a classic.



Starstarfish said:


> Also, I've never seen France with my own eyes, therefore, I'm calling BS that it exists. I mean, think of all those people all over the world believing in things that they've never personally seen. I mean, that's deep man. So is believing the Eiffel Tower is real when I've never myself seen it on par with believing in a deity you haven seen? Can I say, I have faith in France?
> 
> And, Qaunt, no offense, but you went to MIT and your forum icon is about Applied Mathematics, I'm thinking the kinds of jokes that might get told at stand-up at -MIT- might not be exactly everyone's cup of tea, so to speak. So - using that as a basis for having "insider knowledge" on what is funny - not so much.


Na, I don't think that's it. I know lots of people with this sort of background. Most find the same things funny about everyone else does. 

Qaunt is Qaunt.... his attitudes are his own.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Get it? RDRR!


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> Maybe Quant's Aspergers syndrome is partly responsible for his rather adolescent misogyny. But that has nothing to do with the OP's question.
> 
> I know what you mean about raunchy humor for the sake of being raunchy. I don't find it funny either. It's probably a lot easier to do that than to come up with something more original.
> 
> ...


Misogyny is the hatred of women you are making a category error by apply hatred to disinterest in female comics.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> George Carlin was here in NM at one of the casinos a few years back. we got to see him live. It was wroth every moment. He's definitely a classic.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Its true I am rather eccentric.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Aww, Quant, you didn't need to go and change your forum icon because I commented on it.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

Starstarfish said:


> Aww, Quant, you didn't need to go and change your forum icon because I commented on it.


That wasn't why I have gotten a new wardrobe like people recommended.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

People have told me I'm pretty funny. Maybe I need to go be a female stand-up comedian just to be the exception to Qaunt's rule. 

If I do, and make it big time, I'll call you out, man. Well, once you tell me how to pronounce your screen name, that is. Long "a" or short "a"?


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

Starstarfish said:


> People have told me I'm pretty funny. Maybe I need to go be a female stand-up comedian just to be the exception to Qaunt's rule.
> 
> If I do, and make it big time, I'll call you out, man. Well, once you tell me how to pronounce your screen name, that is. Long "a" or short "a"?


Just say Dmitri.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

NotLaughing said:


> ...Which wouldn't be such a big deal if she wasn't actively trying to become a stand up comedian. She runs her jokes by me and I think they're awful and I just have no idea what to do. She's starting to get upset because she can definitely perceive that I'm not entertained... I want to support my wife and I want her to be happy and feel good about what she's doing, but I can't for the life of me fake finding something funny that I don't find funny. She'd know I was faking it. I'm a professional musician and I'd never want my wife to tell me my work is good if it's not, but she keeps looking to me for validation and I don't know what to say to her! How do I handle this touchy situation?


As long as she keeps her day job, I don't see the harm in supporting her dream to keep the peace by laughing at some of her material.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Ok....I did a thread on Humor once....copying and pasting here...

I agree with the others... sometimes our humor styles just doesn't JIVE... is sure helps in marriage WHEN IT DOES though! Laughter is good!....

What type might YOU be - vs what she is...You can be honest... it's not a reflection on her...others might think she's a hoot...so she can still do her thing. Let her go for it !








******* | Take The 3 Variable Funny Test









...... Test results >> 



> the Prankster
> your humor style:CLEAN | COMPLEX | LIGHT .....Your humor has an intellectual, even conceptual slant to it. You're not pretentious, but you're not into what some would call 'low humor' either. You'll laugh at a good dirty joke, but you definitely prefer something clever to something moist.
> 
> You probably like well-thought-out pranks and/or spoofs and it's highly likely you've tried one of these things yourself. In a lot of ways, yours is the most entertaining type of humor because it's smart without being mean-spirited.
> ...





> the Comic
> your humor style:VULGAR | COMPLEX | LIGHT .....Yours is the most versatile and also the most popular kind of humor. You'll crack a joke about just about anything, but you're not mean-spirited or intimidating, so you can get away with it--even when, for example, you bust on Mexicans.
> 
> You appreciate a good dirty joke as much as next person, but, over all, you've got a brainier approach to humor than most. Now just go out there and write up a routine; it's likely you'd be good at it.
> ...





> the Ham
> your humor style:CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT ....Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world.
> 
> *PEOPLE LIKE YOU*: *Will Ferrell* - *Will Smith*





> the Idiot Savant
> your humor style:VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT ....You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY ****'.
> 
> Because it's so easily appreciated, and often wacky and physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. Most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but paradoxically enough, that indicates you're smarter than most.
> ...





> the Wit
> your humor style:CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK ...You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
> 
> I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.
> ...





> the Provacateur
> your humor style:VULGAR | COMPLEX | DARK ....You'll crack on anything, and you're often witty, even caustic, about it.
> 
> Therefore, your sense of humor is polarizing. You're transgressive, and you've got a seriously sharp 'edge'--maybe too much for some folks. If they get you, people think you're one of the funniest (and smartest) people in the world. If they don't, they think you're an ass. Whatever, right? While some might question your judgement, your comic intellect is unquestionably respected.
> ...





> the Cutting Edge
> your humor style:CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK ....Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.
> 
> Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.
> ...





> the Shock Jock
> your humor style:VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | DARK ....Your sense of humor is off-the-cuff and kind of gross. Is it is also sinister, cynical, and vaguely threatening to the purer folks of this world. You probably get off on that. You would cut a greasy fart, then blame it on your mom, and then just shrug when someone pointed out that she's dead.
> 
> Yours is hands-down the most outrageous sense of humor; you like things trangressive and hardcore. It's highly likely (a) you have no limits (b) you have no scruples and (c) you have no job. Ironically, it's your type of humor that can make the biggest bucks in show business.
> ...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Here is more...








The 10 Different Types Of Humor 









*1*. Laugh-at-life humor
Your profile probably says, “I don’t take myself too seriously.” When something bad happens, you’re likely to take a deep breath and look for the absurd in the situation — and then laugh about it. Dave Barry and The Onion are among your favorites. You don’t even need an audience, as you’re very happy to laugh about something annoying all by yourself. People like to be around you because of your sunny outlook. Just make sure your date knows that you can take things seriously at times, too

*2*. Bonding-in-the-moment humor
“We’re in this together, and isn’t it fun?” is your general outlook. You’re the type to crack a joke at just the right moment or toss a witty, lighthearted remark into a conversation before it turns too serious. Down to earth, warm and good-natured, you make people feel happy and good with your attempts at humor. This is a very likable type of humor to express, but be careful to make sure someone isn’t feeling hurt or excluded by what you’re joking about during conversation. 

*3*. Slapstick comedy
You think Airplane was the best movie ever made. Charlie Chaplin and the Three Stooges are classics in your book. Slapstick comedy relies on physical humor, pranks and absurd situations for laughs. List some of your favorite goofy slapstick movies in your profile, but avoid slipping a Whoopee cushion onto your date’s chair during your first outing together. 


*4.* Sarcasm: Bitter much?
Your sense of humor is dark, biting and sharp. The Daily Show is on your list of favorite programs. Be careful with the way you word your profile and emails, because sarcasm can come off as unnecessarily harsh without the benefit of tone of voice and facial expressions to soften the delivery. Save it for when you’re together with someone in person and can temper your biting wit with a smile — and don’t go overboard with it. 

*5*. Self-deprecating humor
You feel most comfortable laughing when you’re making fun of yourself. You like to play the clown and feel some kinship with famously self-deprecating comedians, like Chris Farley and John Belushi. While this can be endearing and charming in small doses, too much of it can make people feel uneasy around you. You’ll really want to use this type of humor sparingly with a brand-new date. After all, you don’t want him or her to start to believe you and look elsewhere! 

*6*. Dry/Deadpan humor
You can deliver a hysterically funny line without cracking a smile or raising an eyebrow while everyone around you falls down laughing. “Quirky” doesn’t always equal “weird” or “strange.”

British comedies often produce great examples of this type of humor. The only problem? Sometimes, people don’t realize you’re kidding — and then the joke ends up falling flat. Make sure you have already developed good rapport with each other before you break out a really deadpan line on date night. 

*7*. Highbrow/ Witty humor
You’re clever, and your jokes show intelligence. You’re the type of person who can find the subtle humor in a situation and tease it to the surface by using a brilliant one-liner that’s made that much funnier because no one else thought of it first. While this can be a great style of humor to employ on dates, just be careful not to come across as a know-it-all instead.

*8*. Jokes at others’ expense
You don’t have a problem making fun of other people. In fact, it’s the way you’re most likely to make a joke. Ridicule, teasing, and sarcasm can be aggressive and downright mean, and following up such statements with “just kidding” doesn’t dull the sting. Be careful! This is a tough type of humor for most people to relate to, especially when it’s your go-to method of cracking a joke. Maybe you can dig deep and find a way to be funny that isn’t done at someone else’s expense? 

*9*. “Bathroom” humor.......








Fart jokes? You’re all over it. If it’s something gross or gory, you’ve got all the details — and you think it’s hysterical. Now, while this type of humor can lead to riotous laughter, it’s definitely something that you might want to hold back on using during a date until you know someone fairly well. This kind of talk can come across as crude and lowbrow too easily when you’re trying to make a good impression.

*10*. Quirky cultural references
You’ve got a movie quote for every situation in life, it seems. The only problem is, your date hasn’t seen — or even heard of — the film you’re quoting from. And maybe you’re the person who will burst out laughing at something no one else in your group finds all that funny. You’re offbeat and unique, and your sense of humor shows it. “Quirky” doesn’t always equal “weird” or “strange.” It can be endearing — and you might find someone with the same appreciation for such unconventional humor, so you don’t want to try to change your own personality to “blend in.” But in the early stages of a relationship, you might want to think of some funny things that are a little more commonly known and appreciated to riff on instead so that your date will get the joke instead of staring blankly in confusion.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Could people just ignore Quant and not threadjack the OP's situation?? It's pretty obvious as far as this thread is concerned he stands alone in his opinion and no one is going to change anyone's mind no matter how much back and forth. Sorry just see so much of this on the forum lately.


OP, have you tried telling your wife you just don't find her brand of stand-up particularly amusing personally??


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