# Anyone give each other the silent treatment?



## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

To me it's a very uncomfortable way to deal with a problem, but I do know of one couple, friends of mine, who will go a week without talking or looking at each other at all.

Can it be a good thing? With the way we fight, I kind of wonder if it would be better than what we're doing now...could be less hostile, though I would hate it.

If you and your spouse give each other the silent treatment, how long does it last, and how does someone break the silence?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pinkprincess (Jun 10, 2008)

The silent treatment I agree can be a good thing but only in a situation where it is used in hopes to resolve the argument.

What i mean by this is, if things are or about to get heated it is sometimes a good option to step back and just take some silent time from yourselves to work out what to say next. If you think there is a chance either you or your spouse say will set the argument off again, then its best to stay silent untill you are ready to communicate positivley.
I think that this should only be used untill te end of the day though because it is not healthy to carry it on.

The reason i say this is because i knew of a couple who loved each other very much and like every couple they fought, one occasion they got into it and the didnt speak for several days the heart breaking this is though the wife went out one day and was involved in an accident, her husband never got the chance to tell her that he was sorry and that he loved her and he never heard the same things from his wife.

How would your friends feel if this happened to them while they are in one of those "silent treatment" moments and the same thing happened....maybe this is a story you should tell your friends... 

I make a point no matter what is going on to tell my husband i love him every night in bed and every time one of us goes out.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

its only a good thing if its for a short time, like a cool down period...not days. my husband used to go a good week not speaking to me....pure torment for me, im a talker, no more like motor mouth, he is too, but not at this time.

i hated it, we never talked it out, it lead to resentments and build-ups, and "make-up sex was a band-aid over a bullet wound. i would never know what i said or did, or how to fix it.

this went on for years, we finally hashed it out, and came to an understanding (well ok i did) he finally said what the prob was, and i said i was sorry for making him feel that way and this and that. 

no more quiet we have our space and are free to say whats on our minds. that was a big prob before, we didnt have our own, and we talked about 10 years of anger, most was stupid, but it just built up over time.

im like be mad, dont shut me out dont shut down. talk to me later after you chill out, talk to me anyway until we can get alone time to work through it


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

"I'll need a few quiet moments before I respond to that"

Anything beyond that is disrespect


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I will walk away from him if I feel that I might say something very unhelpful and unproductive to the argument, but I do not give him the silent treatment, per se. I walk away, but I come back as soon as I calm down to finish the discussion. It's never for days or weeks, or even hours at a time. It's a few minutes; long enough to calm down and not say things that will only make things worse.


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

Taking a time out to calm down is ideal, but you must let your partner know what's going on. "I need a time out, let's talk in 15 minutes", is a good way to let your partner know you are not emotionally abandoning them or punishing them.


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## SHARKY (Nov 30, 2010)

I have been giving my wife the silent treatment for the first time in our 8 year marriage due to her lack of self control. She has been doing things that are not correct, going out with freinds at any given time without remorse for me and our seven year old daughter. She just went loose like a cannon, and when I confronted her, she replied that life is too short and she needed the space for now. I took this very hard because it hurt and it is still hurting me really bad. So on Sunday after she spent the whole day Saturday out and about and had no sympathy for her family, I started this silent treatment and ignoring her. She has been fishing ever since to try to see if I bend, but I am holding back and giving my space because I am hurt and I am not ready to talk yet because I do not want to break down or say the wrong things. She is trying to reach out to me and all I give is a simple yes or no answer and make it as simple as possible. I believe that she is trying to provoke me so I can be the bad guy. It wont happen because I am loyal to my home and my daughter. I am a good looking guy with great qualities and would not seak any revenge with any other women. I am so hurt that revenge is the last thing in my mind. So, I will continue this treatment because the ball is in her court and she needs to realize that she has a lot of explaing to do in order for this to work. I have been ignored now for too long and now it is my time to reflect on myself. I have been using medication to ease my pain.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

My husband is a master at the silent treatment. It's called being passive-aggressive and is just as bad as someone yelling at you and being out of control. It's just another way to punish someone and control the situation (look it up).

It's childish and immature. If you can't discuss the situation and work it out perhaps you'd be better off single.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The missus does this to me all the time, I've pretty much just got used to it, it's just a form of manipulation... only way I found to get her to quit it is to play the same game back.

Unfortunately it seems I've been doing it more often then her nowadays, irony really.


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