# when to just give in?



## wlcordova (Jun 23, 2013)

I am 36 years old. My husband and I have 5 children. I homeschool our 3 younger, The oldest child is 17, we have for all intents and purposes lost her to the world. When she was starting 9th grade we allowed her to go to public school. life was down hill from there, not due to the school, but her own choices. She lives with her bf. Our second child, she is 14 now, homeschooled her till 7th grade. She has straight A's in school-honors classes, but involved in a bad group of friends, smokes pot, and sexually active. My husband said that I have to take her out of school and homeschool her again. I do not want to! She will stop trying in school and give up. Also, due to her being advanced, I am not sure I could do her much justice. Not to mention, she will make our, no, MY life miserable. I tried to explain this to my husband and he became very upset with me. He feels that my lack of ?? backbone I guess is destroying these kids. She is very dedicated to school and wants to go to college, but I'm not really sure now what to do. Please help me with some advice.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

wlcordova, I too have homeschooled and then put them in public school later and have delt with some of the issues you are dealing with. I don't have time to reply right now but just wanted to let you know that I read your post and will later today or tonight.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi wlcordova, before I comment on your post, would you mind giving me a little more information? 
What happened after you put your oldest in school? 
How do you think that affected your other children? 
What did you do as parents to try to head it off?
What has been going on with your 14 year old – how does she affect the atmosphere in the home, etc.
What are your intensions with the younger children’s education? 
Do you plan on putting them is school at some point?
What is the “lack of backbone” your husband is referring to, give me an example?


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

wlcordova said:


> I am 36 years old. My husband and I have 5 children. I homeschool our 3 younger, The oldest child is 17, we have for all intents and purposes lost her to the world. When she was starting 9th grade we allowed her to go to public school. life was down hill from there, not due to the school, but her own choices. She lives with her bf. Our second child, she is 14 now, homeschooled her till 7th grade. She has straight A's in school-honors classes, but involved in a bad group of friends, smokes pot, and sexually active. My husband said that I have to take her out of school and homeschool her again. I do not want to! She will stop trying in school and give up. Also, due to her being advanced, I am not sure I could do her much justice. Not to mention, she will make our, no, MY life miserable. I tried to explain this to my husband and he became very upset with me. He feels that my lack of ?? backbone I guess is destroying these kids. She is very dedicated to school and wants to go to college, but I'm not really sure now what to do. Please help me with some advice.


What rules and consequences do you have for your children? 

I ask this because you are allowing your oldest child(still a minor at 17) to live with her bf. Also, it seems as though the other(second child at only 14) runs her own life according to her own rules as well. They seem to be able to do what ever they want to, but correct me if I am wrong.

I don't think you necessarily need to pull the child out of school and home school again, but there needs to be some strict ground rules that are set and enforced.


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