# Thinking things through



## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

I've been married for many years and have kids that are all still in school. My marriage has issues that touch several forum categories. I've lurked and read TAM for a while trying to sort out the state of my marriage. I have read many threads. I am reading NMMNG. It started with Googling "Why does my wife do X?" and "Why doesn't my wife do Y?". Those results led me to TAM and I have been reading ever since. My complete devotion to my wife has resulted in a life where I have lived essentially as her servant and I am now trying to change that dynamic. She understands my new POV, and is trying to adjust, but old habits die hard.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Welcome to TAM.

You'll find a lot of good topics and discourse here. Many topics help a good marriage become even better!

Not all, although there are many, posts deal with hard times. 

But, many deal with making a marriage stronger.

Take what's helpful and leave the rest. 

Being married for many years my initial two cents without more info is each of you are the others biggest fan in this world!

Go from there. Serving each other is good, if both do so. Balance is key. Not tit for that, but overall balance.

Welcome,

RR


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Welcome. Pick a forum that is most applicable and post there. You will likely get more responses. Give us details. Good for you for reading and seeking change.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Welcome to the TAM Family, @AttaBoy ~ the finest online social forum going!

You've got a lot of great people here with a number of various viewpoints, but all with common-sense foresight!

Let us know exactly what's bothering you and we'll take it from there!*


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

My complete devotion to my wife has resulted in a life where I have lived essentially as her servant and I am now trying to change that dynamic. 


Howdy. The above is a good start. It's a positive note that you have come to the above on your own. The universal truth is that one can only change him/herself.
Others change in reaction to your change. The person you need to work on is you and the results of that will get you what your looking for.

It is important to keep in mind that the dynamics of your current marriage have been seen here many many many times. The advice you get comes from people who have seen
this all before. Your results will only be as good as your ability to take good advice and discard the bad. 

Be prepared to have some mud slung in your face.


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