# Money To Wife



## braveheart2009 (Mar 25, 2009)

This is aimed at those wifes who are not working or earning only the husband is. How much money do they get? My Dad gives £100 per week.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

When I was unemployed during pregnancy and for a number of months following childbirth, with the first child my husband would give me say, £40 per week in todays terms. You mention £100 per week but it depends on what the wife is expected to eek out of that amount. In my case he was paying most of the ultility bills, groceries, mortgage etc. 

Having always worked and us having our own separate current bank accounts, (joint savings accounts though) I was extremely uncomfortable taking "his" money and when I eventually got back to work I offered him all the money back. To my amazement, he actually took it!

So, with my subsequent pregnancies I did not ask for a regular amount and none was offered. I just lived off my previous earnings from my own bank account. If I wanted to purchase anything house/home related rather than personal (i.e. clothes ect) I took money from our joint savings accounts, having notified him beforehand). Also used my own money for smaller household stuff and smaller purchases for the kids too. (Mind you these small purchases soon mount up! if you think about it.)

I really like to feel independent which is why I offered to give the money back. Apart from childbirth related unemployment, I have a couple of periods (up to say one year) of unemployment. Again I have not asked for or been offered any money - although the joint savings account has always been there for larger purchases. It seems to work for us. (However, it still rankles me somewhat that he took back the money when I offered it after my going back to work following the birth of my first child!)

If I could have my time over again or if it was the case that I had never worked or was planning not to go back to work, then I think I would have wanted my husband to pay all the utilities, groceries, and regular expenses (including putting aside a regular amount each period to go into the joint savings account) and then to divide what disposable income is left in HALF and for us to have half each. 

Also I would not want to wait for him to hand me the cash, or to have to ask him for it. I'd want my own separate bank account for him to have it paid into monthly, regular as clockwork, and also have access to a joint savings account for the larger purchases, following joint discussion. 

Can you enlighten us as to your situation and why you ask?


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## pochael (Apr 12, 2010)

WOW... I could not imagine that. I am the bread winner in our home. But because my wife is my partner and God has made us one. Everything is ours. We do not have seperate accounts nothing. We BOTH manage our money and decide. 
So, is your spouse a slave? Or just an employee? Do you take taxes out of their allowance? My goodness people, do you really know what marriage is?


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

Pochael - I'm really puzzled as to why you ask if my spouse is my slave/employee/do I take taxes ??? 

Whilst no relationship is perfect, in our 20+++ years of marriage, I can say that we don't argue over money. In fact I dare say that my husband is quite content that I work and am in a position to conbribute to our financial responsibilities and so am I. 

I've looked back over my post and cannot fathom why you ask this and so do please take a moment and clarify what you meant for me?


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

braveheart2009 said:


> This is aimed at those wifes who are not working or earning only the husband is. How much money do they get? My Dad gives £100 per week.


Are you serious? A weekly allowance to your wife? That's something parents give to their teenage kids. 

Married people generally set a budget TOGETHER no matter who's working and who's staying home. 

A weekly allowance? Really?


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

While my wife does work, as far as household earnings go she makes about a 1/3 of what I do. We don't have anything that is not joint, it's all community property for us (What's mine is hers and what's hers is mine). Way we consider it, there is no my and her money, it's all our money.

Now we both DO set aside $75 a piece per week that we can use for whatever purpose we want on our own (save, spend, etc) we call it fun money. Is that kind of what you are talking about?? That is the only money either of us can spend without discussing it with the other person first.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

Yes Crypsys, I think what you have called "fun" money is what I was calling disposable income. I'm part time and I would say currently only approx 35% of our joint income is from my salary (it was even less in the past when the kids were all very little). 

Each period, he pays certain bills and I pay certain bills. Thankfully, we have very similar priorities when it comes to money so I don't really worry that he has more money than me and that he might be spending it inappropriately. 

I guess us continuing to have separate current bank accounts after we got married may imply a lack of trust between us to some people, but I feel the opposite is true. I felt comfortable, and so changing to a transparent joint current account was not important. (Once a colleague implied that I was being very naive by not insisting on a joint current account and that I might one day live to regret it - but so far so good.)


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Advocado said:


> Yes Crypsys, I think what you have called "fun" money is what I was calling disposable income. I'm part time and I would say currently only approx 35% of our joint income is from my salary (it was even less in the past when the kids were all very little).
> 
> Each period, he pays certain bills and I pay certain bills. Thankfully, we have very similar priorities when it comes to money so I don't really worry that he has more money than me and that he might be spending it inappropriately.
> 
> I guess us continuing to have separate current bank accounts after we got married may imply a lack of trust between us to some people, but I feel the opposite is true. I felt comfortable, and so changing to a transparent joint current account was not important. (Once a colleague implied that I was being very naive by not insisting on a joint current account and that I might one day live to regret it - but so far so good.)


Well Advocado I can't say that we handle things the same, but to each their own. I will say having separate bank accounts and paying bills out of each of your wages is foreign to me. While I may "earn" more then my wife, that "extra" is not mine but our money. We pool our money together and pay bills that way. 

That being said, what works for one family, may not work for another. I certainly will not judge how yall on how you handle your finances; just because it's different then the way we do. The old saying comes to mind "You cannot judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes/sandals"


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

Many thanks Crypsys - I hope it didn't come across that I felt you were being judgmental as that is not the case at all. However, I have to admit I have been feeling somewhat defensive as I'm still puzzled as to pochael post.


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## braveheart2009 (Mar 25, 2009)

pochael said:


> WOW... I could not imagine that. I am the bread winner in our home. But because my wife is my partner and God has made us one. Everything is ours. We do not have seperate accounts nothing. We BOTH manage our money and decide.
> So, is your spouse a slave? Or just an employee? Do you take taxes out of their allowance? My goodness people, do you really know what marriage is?


I like the way both of you manage your money and wish that was my situation as it would help our marriage, but it aint gonna happen. I don't view my wife as a slave or employee but her refusual to have joint accounts and not ask me regularly when I was really struggling when not working raised eyebrows that my wife is not willing to help me out while struggling. 



Advocado said:


> Pochael - I'm really puzzled as to why you ask if my spouse is my slave/employee/do I take taxes ???
> 
> Whilst no relationship is perfect, in our 20+++ years of marriage, I can say that we don't argue over money. In fact I dare say that my husband is quite content that I work and am in a position to conbribute to our financial responsibilities and so am I.
> 
> I've looked back over my post and cannot fathom why you ask this and so do please take a moment and clarify what you meant for me?


Thing is that she listens to other couple marriages who have been together longer and who are more financial stable and compare that to ours and say well so and so gets his wife a new sports car each year, she doesn't work yet her hubby gives her £500 per week etc as well as pay all the bills etc 



cherrypie18 said:


> Are you serious? A weekly allowance to your wife? That's something parents give to their teenage kids.
> 
> Married people generally set a budget TOGETHER no matter who's working and who's staying home.
> 
> A weekly allowance? Really?


Yes, I agree with you that couples money do it together but sadly not in my marriage and I can't say a thing or else its like me vs you. 



Crypsys said:


> While my wife does work, as far as household earnings go she makes about a 1/3 of what I do. We don't have anything that is not joint, it's all community property for us (What's mine is hers and what's hers is mine). Way we consider it, there is no my and her money, it's all our money.
> 
> Now we both DO set aside $75 a piece per week that we can use for whatever purpose we want on our own (save, spend, etc) we call it fun money. Is that kind of what you are talking about?? That is the only money either of us can spend without discussing it with the other person first.


I am not talking about fun money but just money to wife whether she is working or not to make her feel a sense of worth so she can't say 'well he never gives me anything'


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