# Please Help Friends! Need Advice



## Unendinglove (Jun 3, 2012)

Hello all.

I am separated 4 months from a WAW. She has had prior marriages and a 12 yr old son. She 52 me 57. Married just 9 months before "who knows what" causes her to want to separate. Fast forward, will get into details as thread progresses.

One month ago she decides she will open up and allow us a chance. For 3 weeks, its like we were a couple again. WE go on dates, take 2 trips, made love twice and share i love you's.

Then her daughter, who has a deadbeat boyfriend living with her, has a baby. Suddenly without reason, I am dropped like a hot potato! Little affection, withdrawal and no time for us since birth 1 week ago. Am i reading to much into this?

Heres my main question i really need help with. Since we made progress should I go dark, 180 things and let her start to share the wonder about me, th chasing spouse and let her own doubts creep in or. Should i send her an email offering her the time to enjoy her new grandaughter and take the time to decide where we are going and that she knows where i stand?

I want to make the right choice. Please guide me. I feel so darn hurt that as soon as "baby" surfaces, we take the back burner.

I must admit, I was sort of a doormat and I think she thinks I will be there if and when she wants to pull in the leash again.

I really need careful thought and words on the Go dark/180 VS 
email a take your time email. Thank you!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Unendinglove said:


> Hello all.
> 
> I am separated 4 months from a WAW. She has had prior marriages and a 12 yr old son. She 52 me 57. Married just 9 months before "who knows what" causes her to want to separate. Fast forward, will get into details as thread progresses.
> 
> ...


Admitting that you are a doormat is a huge first step. 

I am dealing with a textbook case of a walk away wife myself, and it is a very delicate balancing act. If you are after reconcilliation, you have a huge uphill battle, and I would advise not sending an email. It would be too easy to say things that will end up damaging the situation even worse.

The go dark/180 is also difficult to balance with a true WAW as your first objective has to be to get her back to the table, and the only way to do that is communication, but it has to be the right communication, and every situation is different, so I can't really tell you what to say or do, but I do think an email is a bad idea.

I feel for what you are going through...


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

How about not overthinking this and simply showing interest in the condition of the mother and new child?


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

So she ditches her lovers when they stop the being in love stage. 
You payed her lots of attention, wen on dates and took her away.

If you want her. I would suggest you man the hell up and do it now. She fell in love with the guy she met who was independent , confident and does not need her. She doesn't like the one she has now. 
Check out No More Mr Nice Guy.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

What is your relationship like with the daughter/deadbeat BF? Do you two get along? Or does your W feel like she has to choose between you and her kid/grandkid?


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