# A little hope, a little justice



## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

I have been away for a time and I see such heavy hearts when I am here. I just wanted to share this with you.

I have been on this forum for a while. I had my DDay almost two years ago and I am divorced. I have three kids all boys and they are doing fairly well.

I know that so many times we see the devastation of what being cheated on does to people and how it affects them. Yes it is devastating, yes I was probably insane for the first 6 months. I did not find this place until it was too late.

A little hope: When I had my Dday, my wife told me how it was all my fault, and I looked back and thought to myself, yes you are right. What can I do to save my marriage? That was the absolutely wrong thing to do! I know this from experience.

After being told how bad of a husband and father I was, I looked deep within myself and looked at who I wanted to become. I went to the gym, started working on it. I made a bucket list and started getting things done. I met a beautiful girl and we have been dating now going on 15 months. We have issues but it's been very good. She gives my boys a love that they so desperately need. They call her every day to tell her they love her. She helps them pick out clothes, teaches them to be neat, and how to cook wonderfully. 

Yes, DDay was awful. Yes, you probably need counseling. Yes you have to do a tremendous amount. Yes, you need to forgive your WS to move on and make your own life better. Do not hold onto the bitterness. The choices are yours and you can help guide your own life. Do not be defined by your circumstances but how you act in your circumstances. I still sleep on the floor because I make sure my kids get everything they need. The sun will rise tomorrow and it will shine brightly. Don't wait and despair. Get moving on with your life. Time is short and it is wasting away.

A little justice: I recently had a confrontation with my EX's boyfriend, who happens to be my old next door neighbor (hence why I moved). He had put his hands on my kids a couple of times. To keep it short, no physical altercation took place, but he confronted me, and by the time it was done, he was walking away shaking. It got to the point where I was getting back in my vehicle and I called him a pvssy. He turned and gave me a look. I told him. 'Oh, I'm sorry, I might have said that under my breath. I called you a pvssy, PVSSY!' He just sulked away without saying a word, shaking. He came out at me, but he went back in his house with his tail between his legs. I think he saw what a bit of the rage I was dealing with when going through the betraya really looked like I really try to be a good God fearing Christian, but don't touch my children. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord. I just wanted this little piece for myself. There is much to lose by starting a fight with the OM, but defending yourself, not so much...

You can take my EX-HO wife, but you better not put your damn hands on my kids. The anger of the betrayal... I don't think it compared to what I had that night. There was no saving face for him. The gym has been my friend many times.

I am not a person who is about revenge. I want to go on with my life. Every once in a while I do like to here those little revenge stories. Sorry, sometimes I am a small man.

The cheater script is so similar for everyone. The characters and the setting are different but the plot is so similar. The BS are usually just crushed, but after it is all said and done, there is a life waiting for you. It may be a much better life and what God really had wanted you to have all along. Open your life to the possibilities and don't waste time thinking about what could have been. Embrace what could be.

Yes that is my girlfriend and I in my Avatar. I traded way up. Thank you my cheating EX-HO wife. I took my vows seriously. I did not let my DDay define me. I defined who I wanted to be for the rest of my life. It is who I am striving at being now. I did forgive her a long time ago. It was the first step to the healing process. God bless you all with the heavy hearts. God bless everyone here who helps people move on with the tragedies of there lives. There is hope. There is redemption. There is today. Go out and make it yours.


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## BK23 (Apr 17, 2013)

Bravo! You are an inspiration. Next time that POS dares to lay a finger on your kids (if there is a next time), I say call CPS, then your lawyer. Also, consider a restraining order.

You bruised his ego, but there's no greater tool for messing up a person's life than the court system.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

The problem with the court system is they discount what children say. My EX called 'my boys' liars. When one of them lies, another will tell the truth. When they all have the same story... well that is when I really take note.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

MovingAhead said:


> The problem with the court system is they discount what children say. My EX called 'my boys' liars. When one of them lies, another will tell the truth. When they all have the same story... well that is when I really take note.


Is he still dating your ex?, if yes, it could be a problem because he may have the chance to do something to your kids in retalation, be carefull there, there are many cowards and low lifes out there who will go against the weak


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## bartendersfriend (Oct 14, 2013)

MovingAhead said:


> I took my vows seriously. I did not let my DDay define me. I defined who I wanted to be for the rest of my life. It is who I am striving at being now. I did forgive her a long time ago. It was the first step to the healing process. God bless you all with the heavy hearts. God bless everyone here who helps people move on with the tragedies of there lives. There is hope. There is redemption. There is today. Go out and make it yours.


I have a feeling this will inspire several people here to pull themselves back up. Thank you for sharing.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

manticore said:


> Is he still dating your ex?, if yes, it could be a problem because he may have the chance to do something to your kids in retalation, be carefull there, there are many cowards and low lifes out there who will go against the weak


I understand what you are saying. He does have something to lose in this. I made it very clear that he better not put his hands on my children again. There was a very good reason he was shaking when he walked away. He has talked bad about me in front of my kids before. I think he will think twice before running his mouth.

What is important is they know that I will stand up for them. I will protect them and I would do anything for them. He's told me that 'he never did anything to me or my kids.' He was my next door neighbor. He was banging my EX before we were divorced. I'm kind of thinking that he was mistaken.

My youngest told me, that after it was done, he told my EX, 'I don't ever want to see anyone like that.' I couldn't help it. I enjoyed it, I am mostly ashamed to say. He was messing with my kids. I always talked to my EX before, but since he wanted to personally confront me, I had the opportunity to let him know exactly what I thought of him. He was the aggressor. I think he mistook my desire to avoid confrontation in the past as a weakness. I'm pretty sure I let him know he misunderstood me.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

bartendersfriend said:


> I have a feeling this will inspire several people here to pull themselves back up. Thank you for sharing.


TAM has helped me heal. There are so many good people here. I just like to give a little back when I can.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Dude, emotionally speaking...you just beat his @ss!

I mean OM was shaking as if you popped him in the jaw. LOL

Well done sir, well done.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

So glad to hear that you are happy and doing better, despite any of the struggles that you have encountered along the way. 

I just have one question, I guess...?

If you forgive your Ex, why are you still calling her a ho?


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

MA

Good for you standing up for your kids.

Your GF is a cutie.

Glad you are replacing the Ex and that you are embracing rather than running from a new relationship.

Keep it up...

HM


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

You might consider getting vars or something for your kids to carry on them. That would put the kids are lying bull**** to rest pdq. Even if it was inadmissible in court, you could play it for the cops to let them know just what kind of a man the POSOM is.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

MovingAhead said:


> My youngest told me, that after it was done, he told my EX, 'I don't ever want to see anyone like that.' I couldn't help it. I enjoyed it, I am mostly ashamed to say. He was messing with my kids. I always talked to my EX before, but since he wanted to personally confront me, I had the opportunity to let him know exactly what I thought of him. He was the aggressor. I think he mistook my desire to avoid confrontation in the past as a weakness. I'm pretty sure I let him know he misunderstood me.


I am glad you put him in his place.

question. Why he was seeking confrontation ?

another advice, i know is improbable, but there are cases where the boyfriends of divorced women or single mothers abuse the kids, and what they do to make sure nobody found out is to threaten the children, with arguments like.

- if you tell your father what i did i will kill him.
- if you tell someone what i did i will hurth your brother.

Kids as naive as they are believe this kind of threats.

so you can reinforce with them that if he ever do any kind of physical or emotional harm you can take care of him so they don't have to be afraid of sharing what is happening there.

of course i want to believe that your ex is not dumb enough to be dating this kind of men, but being cautious is never a bad thing


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Pepper123 said:


> So glad to hear that you are happy and doing better, despite any of the struggles that you have encountered along the way.
> 
> I just have one question, I guess...?
> 
> If you forgive your Ex, why are you still calling her a ho?


I forgave her a long time ago for what she has done with the her affair, with her selfishness, with the pain she has brought to our family and other things. I moved on with my life. 

She had an affair with my old other neighbors brother. She is now dating my old neighbor. I should not be calling her a HO, really I should call her a POS.

She ignores her own children...
She has called the police on her 2 oldest 3 times.
She treats her youngest better than her older two (adopted)
This is just the start... I'm going back to court very soon to address the other issues.

I forgave her a long time ago. She moved out and away a bit. She then had to go start dating my other next door neighbor. I actually had to sell my house and move because of that nonsense. It is just non stop with her. There is much more going on right now. If we didn't have kids, I would be done with her. The fact is we do. The kids can't move on because they are trapped in some of this crap. That is source of my continuing frustration and anger.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

*Re: Re: A little hope, a little justice*



MovingAhead said:


> I forgave her a long time ago for what she has done with the her affair, with her selfishness, with the pain she has brought to our family and other things. I moved on with my life.
> 
> She had an affair with my old other neighbors brother. She is now dating my old neighbor. I should not be calling her a HO, really I should call her a POS.
> 
> ...


So sorry to hear all of that, she sounds dreadful and toxic. Glad you have removed your children from that toxic environment too, and that you found a good woman that will treat you properly.

Best wishes as your phoenix process continues


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

manticore said:


> I am glad you put him in his place.
> 
> question. Why he was seeking confrontation ?
> 
> ...


He wouldn't threaten my kids like that. They would tell me in a second. I appreciate the concern. He wants my EX and not my kids. I want him to have the same.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Is there a time when your children can choose to live with you and get away from the old neighbor?


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