# bad birthday



## iceit4me (Jun 20, 2010)

My birthday was this week and I waited all day for my husband to say happy birthday to me. My son brought me flowers in the morning. About 9:30pm my husband asked me what the flowers were for. I told him my birthday...duh. He said he totally forgot and that was it. Later he said he was sorry and I still havent gotton a card or a little gift of any kind. This is just the "icing on the cake" of our marriage. I feel so mad


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry. Happy Birthday! I know it's important to feel valued and validated by your husband and he is failing to honor your special day, now that he's remembered it. Do you have a joint account? Go out and buy yourself something really nice, come home and say "Look honey, this is your birthday present to me and it's just what I wanted" Be pleasant and happy about it. Next year he will probably make it a point to remember.


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## iceit4me (Jun 20, 2010)

Yes, I have actually thought about getting something I want.! He would be mad because he controlls the checking account.


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

You were hurt and sad by not having your birthday remembered. You deserve something nice and if he's not the one that's going to provide that for you, then providing it for yourself seems more than reasonable.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

What is your husband's attitude to his own birthday?

It's worth noting that some families just don't make a fuss about birthdays and if you are married to someone who is from such a family and your family is the opposite, it's very difficult not to take it personally when they don't seem to want to go out of their way to make the day at least a little bit special for you. 

It took me the longest time not to feel very resentful about having to wait until maybe late evening before my birthday was even acknowledged but to some extent I am now able to not take it so personally and, following several long talks around the whole issue, he has improved alot. 



iceit4me said:


> This is just the "icing on the cake" of our marriage. I feel so mad


Has he always been like this about your birthday or is he trying to make a point about something?


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## stoomey74 (Sep 20, 2009)

I agree with Avacado what do birthdays mean to him? Granted we don't know the past birthday's or the cake itself. Just remember you have the right to be happy.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Well that sucks. Make sure he knows how much it hurt you. I've been married 10+ and haven't forgotten bdays or anniversaries. I generally try to take those opportunities to make a grand expression of my love for my wife. I would n't do a tit for tat and go buy yourself something unless you speak with him first(Notice I didn't say ask his permission). He's already apologized so you going out behind his back can be percieved as an attempt of payback. Letting the person that manages the finances know what your spending money on is just good practice even without the other issues.


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## posh7 (Jul 7, 2010)

I feel the same way. It's my birthday today and my husband hasn't acknowledged it and I'm sure he won't. It's happened before.


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## dsfg_lover_001 (Jul 4, 2010)

Well i understand how you feel now.Maybe he forgot your birthday and make you feel he didnt really care about you.If you think this is a big deal and infect your marriage,tease him to see his reaction and tell him that what you felt about this.Hope this can help you and thanks for sharing.


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## Sixgunner (Mar 5, 2008)

Sorry to hear your husband is such a tube steak. I am very good with my families birthday. I currently work in Iraq and scheduled my vacation last January/February so I could be home for my anniversary, wife's birthday and the Superbowl. :smthumbup: 

When I asked her what she wanted she said she just wanted me home. I went ahead and surprised her with a new platinum diamond ring. :allhail:

Sounds like your husband is one selfish person. You need to sit him down and talk to him.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

sorry your husband forgot your B-Day.... I know it hurts. My husband and I played in a golf tournament at our local club the day of my B-Day. I had a lot of B-Day wishes that day but not from him......It was an awful feeling, he had always wished me happy B-Day, I found out a month later about his affair......worst B-Day memory so far.........they sure can seem and are mean sometimes.....all we want is to feel special to our spouses......


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