# Ten Myths About Men



## Amplexor

Interesting article from MSM today.

I would have to say I agree with the statement "A woman with a laser-like intelligence, sharp sense of humor and a compassionate soul — now, that's a centerfold." in Myth #7 110%. That is exactly what attracts me to my wife. :smthumbup: 


Really, Man?The 10 Biggest Myths About Guys
May 21, 2010
We always find ourselves unable to resist clicking on those articles that claim to know "what he's really thinking" — so when we came across this man's point-of-view piece, we were immediately intrigued. Here's an inside look at the male psyche that helps us better understand the supposedly simpler sex. —Glo


By Brendan Tapley for Woman's Day


What makes a man? The mythology surrounding this question still looms large. So much so that men often experience a hidden battle: whether their decisions should be self-determined or dictated by how masculine they will seem to others. Do I let my wife know how much something is bothering me or will that come across as not being in control? Do I speak my mind at work or does that risk being seen as too emotional? If I take a stand on a principle that bucks the boys' club, will I lose status? Luckily, women can be strong advocates for change by encouraging men to evolve and expand beyond the stereotypes. Take a look at the 10 biggest falsehoods about men that, when debunked, can lead us to true masculinity.


Myth #1: Men Are Not Emotional

This may come as a surprise, but men are probably more emotional than women. How is this possible? Unlike femininity, masculinity doesn't permit emoting on a regular basis, so men are like Victorian novels: placid on the outside, but concealing a deep emotional life within. Convincing a man that it is masculine to open up — in fact, it takes more cojones to do so — is a cause women should embrace. By encouraging men to reveal their true feelings, women are helping them release pent-up emotions, leading to a happier and healthier guy.


Myth #2: Sex Is What Matters the Most

Yes, sex is important to men. It's one of the ways we access our imaginations. (At times, it might seem like the only way we do.) But one of the big secrets about men is how much they long for real solidarity with their partner. And sex, because it makes the imagination literal, is something we rely on to achieve that bonded feeling. Next time you see your mate's desire for sex as chauvinistic, remember that he may be asking for proof that you and he are the team he fantasizes about.


Myth #3: A Man Is His Job

For most men, the pressures of work stem from two things: a desire to excel at something (a principle of manhood we were taught as boys) and a need to contribute to the well-being of our families. But duty is not the same as identity, and what one does is not the same as who one is. This is true for women, too; but, culturally, men are more defined by their professions, which can keep their passions — what really identifies them — invisible. Talking with men about their interests is a great way to get away from the conventional ways they are seen — even how they see themselves — which will help ensure a more unconventional (and improved) masculinity.


Myth #4: Males Are Limited Creatures

“Men are underdeveloped” is the most effective propaganda the male sex has created. Your belief in our limitations brings certain “rewards” (i.e. expectations are lowered; bad behavior is tolerated; apathy becomes a non-negotiable). Women, the usual victims of these limitations, most likely buy into the idea because it elevates them. The thing is, men are not limited; and if women decide to sacrifice a little superiority, they will gain better treatment by men. Just look at the vibrant imagination of any five-year-old boy or recall the way past boyfriends have courted you — we can be highly animated, curious, loving and devoted. Holding your guy to a higher standard may not get thanks right away, but it will actually liberate him to be a more expansive, and more real, man.


Myth #5: Men Hate to Commit

Masculinity is one of the most oppressive forces, as far as behavior goes, because it demands that men appear “tough” at all times — thereby avoiding any overt displays of love and affection, which can be detrimental to a relationship. How often have you witnessed a man shut down during a tender moment or make a joke to detour from it? The toll this eventually takes is enormous, depriving men of the riches of intimacy — one of which is completely giving over to a true and loving partnership. While men may appear to prize freedom and independence, in their heart of hearts they truly value loyalty. In standing by her man, a woman can fill a primal absence. And once he realizes you have his back, he will start to show his feelings in his own way — which may not be “traditional” romantic gestures, but they will be gestures nonetheless. 


Myth #6: Guys Don't Communicate

Men like to talk — have you ever tried asking us the best way to get somewhere? But we often censor ourselves based on how we think women might react to a deeper honesty. So, there are times we just don't bother. This is unfortunate, because men's internal lives are interesting and telling, and getting to know them by suspending judgment will encourage a man to be more open and more revealing to you.


Myth #7: A Woman's Looks Are Everything

Non, nein, nope. A woman's beauty is a thing to behold, and sometimes we can behold it at the wrong times (like when passing another woman on the sidewalk). But that's just visual titillation. The stimulus that matters most reaches our hearts and minds. A woman with a laser-like intelligence, sharp sense of humor and a compassionate soul — now, that's a centerfold.


Myth #8: Men Don't Take Things Personally

This is certainly a myth we would like to believe about ourselves. Nothing fazes us: We're breezy, easy, confident. Yeah, right. The fact is that men take many things personally — the light teasing about our paunch, the less-than-stellar bedroom performance, the snide colleague at work — but the principles of masculinity prevent our admitting them. The problem is, these things come out in ways that truly affect us. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, men commit suicide four times as often as women, and suicide currently ranks as the seventh leading cause of death for men. Watching for when a guy might be repressing reactions for the sake of masculine pride, and asking him to forgo that habit, is one way women can literally save a man's life.


Myth #9: Guys Don't Listen to Criticism

It's hard to argue that this one is a myth. But the reason men can be diva-like when it comes to criticism is because said criticism is rarely delivered in a way we understand. Women tend to talk around the problem, but it's okay to get in our faces every now and then and just say what's on your mind. Sometimes, the greatest act of love is taking someone seriously enough to risk offending them. In a weird way, those tough conversations get at the truth and, in calling attention to our blind spots, are about helping us. It's when couples no longer think it's worth the trouble that they have to worry. So, next time, try some tough love: We can take it. 


Myth #10: Boys and Girls Are So Different

Okay, so your son prefers horseplay and trucks, and your daughter likes dolls and playing dress-up. Who cares! The things that matter in life — whether your kids are ethical; whether they are kind to others; how they achieve self-fulfillment — are as important to recognize in adults as they are in children. Just as you wouldn't indulge your son's overconfidence because that seems “male,” don't allow your husband to get away with things that hurt your feelings because “that's how guys are.” The fact is, when it comes to men and women, our mythologies are — and should be — about living more authentic lives. 

Thoughts anyone?


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## Crypsys

Amplexor said:


> Myth #1: Men Are Not Emotional


I agree 100% with this. We are emotional, we are just taught to hide it internally.



Amplexor said:


> Myth #2: Sex Is What Matters the Most
> 
> Next time you see your mate's desire for sex as chauvinistic, remember that he may be asking for proof that you and he are the team he fantasizes about.


Sometimes the sex is just for the sex. Othertimes it is for the bonding between mates. So overall I have to agree with the findings.




Amplexor said:


> Myth #3: A Man Is His Job


I disagree with this one. I have a good job but my identity is not my job at all. I work to support my family, that's it. My identity is about 90% separate from my job.



Amplexor said:


> Myth #4: Males Are Limited Creatures


We are limited emotionally though I believe. While we have emotions, we don't deal well with how to use them. I can see it with my boys and how the little girls they play with run rings around them. Even young, the ladies know how to use emotions to get a guy to do things for them.



Amplexor said:


> Myth #5: Men Hate to Commit


I'd agree with this one



Amplexor said:


> Myth #6: Guys Don't Communicate


We do communicate, just differently then women do. We try to solve the problems, women try to just generally talk about them. The problem isn't that we don't talk, it's just we generally talk a different "language" then the ladies.



Amplexor said:


> Myth #7: A Woman's Looks Are Everything


The looks get you in the door, but it's whats inside that keeps you there.



Amplexor said:


> Myth #8: Men Don't Take Things Personally


Yes we do, but I guess it depends on the guy as to what level they take it personally.



Amplexor said:


> Myth #9: Guys Don't Listen to Criticism


I think that can go for both men and women, no one likes to be criticized.



Amplexor said:


> Myth #10: Boys and Girls Are So Different


From my limited exposure to little girls (I have all boys) I have to say they are pretty different. But again, I don't have any girls (yet) so take my view with a grain of salt.


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## michzz

Like a lot of summaries, there is a kernel of interesting factoids.

But it kinda reads like a guy wrote it trying to impress some girl into bed.


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## okeydokie

i agree with most of it


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## Blanca

Great article. I thought men were not emotional, too, but its not true at all.


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## Amplexor

michzz said:


> But it kinda reads like a guy wrote it trying to impress some girl into bed.


So Myth # 2 is indeed fact!!!


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## WantsHappiness

Amplexor said:


> Myth #4: Males Are Limited Creatures
> 
> “Men are underdeveloped” is the most effective propaganda the male sex has created.


This gave me a smile. I wonder how many guys are cursing the advice given for this one


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## Blanca

Crypsys said:


> We do communicate, just differently then women do. We try to solve the problems, women try to just generally talk about them. The problem isn't that we don't talk, it's just we generally talk a different "language" then the ladies.


My H and I got in a debate about this. I think this is also a myth. Throughout the week i pointed out to my H when he wanted me to just listen instead of trying to solve his problems. For example he has some very hormonal male coworkers (one being his boss) that are really getting on his nerves. he talks about the frustration of being put in the middle of their diatribes. He talks about wanting to retire all the time. he talks about wanting to move and how much he misses where he grew up. He stresses about money all the time. He doesnt want me to try and solve these problems for him, he just wants me to listen. 

Sometimes people want to be listened to, and sometimes they want solutions. and you might also consider what it means to solve a problem. if a "good" outcome results, the problem has been solved. Maybe too many men get grid locked into "this is how to solve it" instead of realizing there are many ways to solve a problem


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## amanda1959

it has been my experience that 1,2,3,4 and 6 are true... They are less emotional and sex is everything and because they don't communicate how they feel they are limited creatures. Most men are identified by their job and what they "do" for a living. Some are commited or so it appears.


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## cb45

hmmm,
truth mixed w/ fiction, seen in most of 'em, is my gen. take.

didnt address men will do 10k words(max), women 25k easy.

and what was that "man created.." b.s.? either i didnt get

what he was refering to, or it was bogus, period(inferiority).

there was also quite a bit of redundancy at the end there,

leading me to agree w/ someone who posted that the 

author maybe was trying too hard to get some F in bed.

(or playing w/ himself)


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## Amplexor




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## amanda1959

That's fuuunnny.......rooolffff I love that show!


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