# My fiancé has sexted other men during our whole relationship



## Angie Lazo (Jun 20, 2017)

Hello I'm a female just in case you're wondering. My fiance and I have been together for 2 1/2 years now and in February of this year we had a daughter together. In January I found emails from Craigslist on his phone saying he wanted these men to cum on his face and suck him off and things like that when I confronted him he immediately apologised and I forgave him then a month later I found more and even last month he had texted some man to meet up like 3 days ago o found he was logged into his old email and I found that he had been talking to other men since the third month we were together he has been talking to other men consistently during our entire relationship and I've been trying to let it go because he never actually met up with any of them but I can't even look at him without asking myself why he would do this to me if he loves me so much? I'm so scared and I don't know what to do anymore I feel like my life is falling apart. I have a baby with him he's a great father I just don't know what to do


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I don't know what you should do (besides embracing a bit more punctuation), but what I do know is that you shouldn't marry him until you can honestly answer your own question.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How do you know that he did not meet any of the men? 

Your fiancé is either bisexual or gay. And he has a very strong desire for sex with men. You are never going to be able to satisfy him sexually because you do not have the right body parts.

He's meeting these men. No goes on Craigslist just to find men to plan dates with and then not go to them. 

You need to go get tested for STDs because he is engaged in one of the most risky sexual behaviors there is.

And you need to end your relationship with this guy. He is not going to stop.

How old are the two of you?


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## Angela1977 (Jun 19, 2017)

Your fiance has some issues with himself that he needs to deal with. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that he is either gay or bisexual but feels the need to remain closeted at this time. I personally would not marry him because the writing is on the wall that a legally binding marriage with this man would be a mistake. That being said, I think that what he needs is understanding that it's ok to be bisexual and to work on him coming to accept this aspect about himself. That doesn't excuse the fact that he had these secret relationships. I think he needs to work on himself a lot before considering marrying and you need to put the marriage plans on the back burner.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Yeah, straight guys don't do this. Like, they don't even mess around all funnylike to do this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He is either bisexual or gay. But that does not excuse the fact that his is cheating.

What he is doing is just as bad as if he were online picking up on women. 

If I were you I would not give him any 'sensitivity'. Him learning to deal with his own sexuality is his issue, not yours. 

What is your issue is that you do not need a man who cheats, lies and puts your heath at risky by potentially exposing you to STDs.

Do not buy into any nonsense that somehow, he gets some sort of leeway because he's confused sexually. He is not confused sexually. He knows exactly what he wants sexually... he wants a woman and a child to be his 'beard' ... meaning to use them (you and your child) so he can pretend to the world that he is not gay. Then he also wants to be able to screw all the men he wants in secret.


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## pbj2016 (May 7, 2017)

Angie Lazo said:


> Hello I'm a female just in case you're wondering. My fiance and I have been together for 2 1/2 years now and in February of this year we had a daughter together. In January I found emails from Craigslist on his phone saying he wanted these men to cum on his face and suck him off and things like that when I confronted him he immediately apologised and I forgave him then a month later I found more and even last month he had texted some man to meet up like 3 days ago o found he was logged into his old email and I found that he had been talking to other men since the third month we were together he has been talking to other men consistently during our entire relationship and I've been trying to let it go because he never actually met up with any of them but I can't even look at him without asking myself why he would do this to me if he loves me so much? I'm so scared and I don't know what to do anymore I feel like my life is falling apart. I have a baby with him he's a great father I just don't know what to do




Sounds like he is as confused as you are. Possibly he is using you and your daughter to convince himself and others that he is "normal". 

The reality is that if he did not stop the first time you confronted then he will continue until he is no longer confused about his sexuality. 

He is cheating on you emotionally at least with a fantasy world built in his head (if he indeed hasn't meet physically with Craigslist guys). 

Kick him out of your life. He has refused to stop cheating. Go dark on communications except for shared parenting responsibilities. Also get std testing to be sure he hasn't put your health in jeopardy. 

You are too young to waste your prime of life with someone that isn't into you physically and emotionally 100%.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

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Angie Lazo said:


> Hello I'm a female just in case you're wondering. My fiance and I have been together for 2 1/2 years now and in February of this year we had a daughter together. In January I found emails from Craigslist on his phone saying he wanted these men to cum on his face and suck him off and things like that when I confronted him he immediately apologised and I forgave him then a month later I found more and even last month he had texted some man to meet up like 3 days ago o found he was logged into his old email and I found that he had been talking to other men since the third month we were together he has been talking to other men consistently during our entire relationship and I've been trying to let it go because he never actually met up with any of them but I can't even look at him without asking myself why he would do this to me if he loves me so much? I'm so scared and I don't know what to do anymore I feel like my life is falling apart. I have a baby with him he's a great father I just don't know what to do


Be honest with yourself, is it you don't know what to do or it is too painful and you are afraid of what to do? There is a very good chance he is gay and doesn't want to deal with it in an fully authentic way. For whatever reason, family, shame or whatever. I would also say you don't put ads on Craigslist if you don't intend to follow through, there is very very strong chance that he is meeting these men. I know that makes it more painful but you must deal with the truth of the situation. Better to deal with it now then 3 kids down the road and he tells you he wants to come out and marrying you was a mistake, breaking up your entire life and family, loosing lots of material wealth. There really is no road with this man that doesn't have tremendous pain and will probably end in it. He isn't going to stop being attracted to men. Then you bring into the equation that he cheated on you multiple times and he has terrible character issues too. 

He is not a good choice for you. He may love you with all his heart, but this is what love with all his heart looks like. Blatant cheating, that is the best he can do. There is better out there for you. At the very least cancel the wedding. Deal with the pain now so you don't have to deal with a lifetime of pain. This relationship is a cancer in you life. You need to cut it out to get better. It's time to let your brain take control over your heart. Your future self will thank you for it.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Your fiance is possibly gay, at minimum bi, and definitely a cheater. My advice is to immediately end this relationship, get child support and visitation settled legally, and move on to a heterosexual monogamous man.

By the way, good fathers don't risk it all to get sucked off by some random guy. 

If I were you, I'd also consider exposure. If people know, it might save the next girl from going through what you are going through.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

You need to call off marriage to this guy now. It seems he has desires that would not be conducive to your marriage or children. He has tried to do this over and over so he will keep trying until he does it. I think that you would find later on that he would want to divorce you to explore these desires if you did marry him.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

No matter what his preferences, he is proving that he does NOT love you. 

Please don't marry him. Your years before marriage are typically 'as good as it gets.' It will only get worse.


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## Angela1977 (Jun 19, 2017)

Also, keep in mind that this won't stop. There are women out there who will tell you of their husband's secret rendezvous with other men. Your health is in danger from him bringing home an STD from some anonymous sex. It could be that he's confused, in denial, or using you, but either way you really need to end a sexual relationship with him.


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## Youngwife1000 (Mar 26, 2017)

Hi, I'm 4 months into finding out exactly the same but different website, he denied meeting up with people for a few weeks, almost getting angry at me for suggesting anything further. Sadly we are all ready married with two small children. I asked him to do a polygraph, which at first he refused too, and said his only crime was looking and everything else was just stupid for me thinking, I said if you've nothing to hide you'd do it and if he didn't I'm gone anyway. Long story short he admitted 2 days before that he found 3 men off the site and met with them to receive oral sex, he didn't have full sex, pleasure back or even kiss them. All very odd, however he cheated on me 7 times with men full sex or not. So he passed the polygraph. If I was not married and had no children I'd be gone and not look back. I've chosen for now to see how things go. It's torture some days and the hurt is as it was the day I found out. I have zero trust in him. However we are trying to see if there is anything we can build on. It's soul breaking. I'm still not sure we will make it but we are going to try. 
If I were you, I definitely would NOT marry this man and most definitely split even for a season so he can sort out what he wants too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

@youngwife... It is called trickle truth. Just as he originally said he never met any of them, but later admitted that he had. So will the story that he only received and never gave change if pressed. Probably next step is that it "was only oral"..... 
Run away. No, ....wait......Kick him out!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Geez.

Dump this guy ASAP.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

There is nothing wrong with someone being gay or bi.... but.

Two issues.
First, no matter what sexual orientation - he is cheating on you. He is lying about his actions and what ever it is he is doing.

Two: Reflect on who he is sending out sexual messages to. All men? Any women what-so-ever? If he was cheating with both men and women, then you can say "he's bisexual". But nothing from your post suggest that he is doing anything with women.


With what info you have provided. Seems like your fiancee is very much gay. Like 90~100%. One does not talk about such sexual acts with other men "XXX on my face" without wanting it. man on man sex from craigslist - with MARRIED men is pretty high. So the sex he has with you lately or much of the time - he is thinking about GUYS. 

Do you want a husband in which he is thinking about oral and other sex acts with men to get an erection to have sex with you? Not only is he cheating, but it seems like he is using you as a cover. And this is common - many preachers and people in political office who are PUBLICLY against homosexuality - have been busting with having same sex sexual contact. 

Lets say he gives oral sex to many men. One or some of them has herpes... he kisses you. Ooops. Let's say a man with herpes gives your fiancee STDS like herpes with oral sex. Then he has PIV sex with you, then you get herpes. Then your pool of men to date and have relationships with WILL shrink big time. I would say maybe 1/10th. There has been at least 3~5 times I've meet women - some as possible girlfriends- which I REALLY REALLY liked - but couldn't get over the chance of getting herpes.

Break off the wedding. Let your husband go be himself. Thus, your child will be used to him not being around that much. And meet someone else for yourself.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

And let's talk about the very REAL danger of AIDS.


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## TheRealMcCoy (Apr 13, 2017)

Angie Lazo said:


> My fiance and I have been together for 2 1/2 years.


Your husband is not bi. He has zero desire for sex with women. He lied to you and used you to hide his secret world. Ruining your life and didn't give his child a great start either.

Men do not say "no" to sex. In 2 and a half years, if I, as a moderately attractive man, could go on my computer at ANY MOMENT an have my choice of hot chicks to bang withing 20 minutes of my house? At any time? And I'll bet your husband isn't shabby either, am I right? 

You have to prepare yourself for the fact that he has had more than a few men coming on his face during your marriage. All at one time sometimes. 

Strap that boy down to a polygraph, have an expert on gay casual sex guide you through the questions to ask and get some popcorn. You may need a barf bag as well, depending on what you're into.

Please update us.


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