# someone explain this to me



## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

My husband has been having an affair for 6 months now with a woman he works with. The OW is also married I found out when her husband came and told me of the affair.....
Anyway since then many discussions as to why we got to this place in our marriage, we take equal blame for the marriage part breaking down, he feels that he wants to explore the other relationship so we have decided to go our separate ways after the holidays, already have told our 2 grown sons.....
My question now is he seems very angry and is almost trying to be hurtful, why is he still doing this, I have accepted the fact that he wants out and he knows it's something that just doesn't sit right with me, so I'm setting him free and now he seems mad.
This is very hard on me to have even gotten to this place, it almost seems like he is the one that can't accept his decision now, the OW is already now separated from her husband. Don't understand his angry disposition now and he is going to make the holidays tough for everyone if he keeps this up, we have decided to go ahead with the family get together and then on New Year's day tell our families that we are going to call it quits, we have been married 22 years, together 25....he has asked me if I would still be around if things don't work out with the OW I said no, I wasn't playing 2nd fiddle to anyone and if he chose her I was gone....is this why he is mad? anyone else experience anything like this, by the way he still maintains she is who he wants......confusing at times.......thanks for your thoughts


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

jessi said:


> he has asked me if I would still be around if things don't work out with the OW I said no, I wasn't playing 2nd fiddle to anyone and if he chose her I was gone....is this why he is mad?


Wow...he has a lot of nerve to even ask you that question...I'm sorry but I have no idea why _*he *_would be mad...unless he was hoping to keep his married life with you the same and continue the affair on the side and now he is forced to make some real adult decisions that require him to change how he's been living up until now...boo hoo....

I'm sorry you are going through this. If anyone should be angry it should be you.


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

My husband acted that way till he moved out I think its the guilt because they know they didnt try to work on the marriage. They also know they have started another life before they were done with their first committment. aaarrrrggg!!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tuesday (Dec 8, 2009)

I agree with ALL of the above! So what...let him be angry!! He created the mess...let him deal with it! I wish I had the courage to be as gracious as you are! Kudos to you!!!!


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I am gonna go with, he thought this would completely destroy you and since you decided okay, you want out get out and go enjoy your OW, he's mad. He's mad that you aren't begging him to stay. Why would you? Geez. He probably knows in the back of his mind that the "excitement" from his OW isn't going to be there anymore now that its not a secret. Just a thought


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

They want to have their cake and eat it too. What an ass. I'm sorry. Wow am I impressed with your strength. Keep that head up high my friend - you look fabulous!


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