# Does anyone feel like everyone can look at them and know?



## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

I just feel different. Like people can look at me and know my WS cheated on me. Like I have a big stamp on my forehead now. 

I just feel different than everyone else now. Like I'm separate, staring in at others from my own world. 

I also feel lost. Like I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Life seems to have lost meaning. I'm just going thru the motions, but don't really have anything I look forward to anymore. Does this feeling ever go away? 

I just feel different now.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Again, Normal. Perfectly normal.
And yes it will go.
It its OWN time.
There is no timeframe to recovery, and don't let the feeling that there should be one get in your way.

You are being normal.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

No, no one can tell. Everyone else is way too preoccupied with their own problems.

But yes, it's going to hurt for a while. It's ok. Find some good friends, talk to us here, whatever. Just know that it will get better.


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## TorontoBoyWest (May 1, 2012)

lamaga said:


> No, no one can tell. Everyone else is way too preoccupied with their own problems.
> 
> But yes, it's going to hurt for a while. It's ok. Find some good friends, talk to us here, whatever. Just know that it will get better.


This.

It is more then likely a projection.

As said above everyone is too concerned with their own sh!t


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## Martinique78 (Apr 4, 2012)

You are not alone. I am going through the same thing right now. Mine gets so bad sometimes that I even feel like people are talking about me behind my back. I look at other couples and I remember when I looked that happy.

I even feel unmasculated by what my wife did. That i'm less of a man now.

I really do hope it goes away over time so I can walk with my head held high again. Just know that youre not alone.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

I felt the exact feelings, still do at times and im 14 months out . For me the humiliation was the worst ...i still feel so different within our marriage .. 

~sammy


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

For me, I felt more like everyone I say was cheating. Especially couples, I would wonder if there was infidelity in there relationship.


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## messeduplady (May 31, 2012)

Agree with all the posters too; I felt and still sometimes do feel, like everyone knew and they were all thinking how stupid/fat/**** in bed/ugly/*insert any negative feeling here* I was.

Of course, they knew nothing and I played the game so well that perhaps they never will know anything. Keep your head up and your dignity intact. It stinks though, take care x


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## messeduplady (May 31, 2012)

Oh, and agree totally that all of a sudden people seem to point out what a lovely well suited couple you both are and what a lovely husband you have: isn't he good doing all that shopping etc?!! When in reality hubby was doing all he could to hang onto me by doing all that "good" stuff lol!

Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.........


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

I never worried if other people knew or if I looked different. I was not ashamed because I knew that I did nothing wrong...I didn't care who knew....is that odd? I also never felt jealous of the OW - only maybe jealous and angry at the time and effort that WH spent texting her and the lengths he went to lie and be with her when it could have been so much easier and rewarding to take a little extra time for us or suggest we ditch the kids (figuratively speaking) and take a trip - just us together to rekindle. Now the affair is over and we have all of this rebuilding to do and NOW we are "ditching" the kids and going to take a cruise....I just wish it would have happened 9 months ago instead of now - would have made our trip a lot more enjoyable. But, it is what it is. 

Don't worry about what others are thinking. People don't care about your problems. Chances are 50% or more of the people you come in contact are dealing or have dealt with the same thing - sad but true. Don't feel bad over something your WS did.


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

Oh yes - and when we were asked how long we were married and I said almost 16 years, one guy said, "man, how do you do it? Stay happy and married so long?".....wow - I felt flushed and my heart started racing and all I could say was, "I don't know", and fake a smile, but I had a thousand things run through my head - my husband said nothing.

What is hard for me - when looking at home decorations at the store that have a theme of family, love, committment - saw a beautiful mirror that I would have loved to have in my entry way yesterday - all about family love - I can't go there right now - so hard...and trying to find an anniversary, birthday or Father's Day card that does not say "becuase of your committment to us or our family, or becuase you do all the right things, etc".....so hard and makes me tear up. Then I go to my car and cry. 

For Father's Day, I got the most generic card and actually thought of getting just a blank card because I could not find anything that fit - I was getting frustrated, so that was one time I did think - what do these people think - I am all teared up and keep wiping my eyes - must have been a touching Hallmark card 

No one said anything - no one cares - cry if you have to and feel how you must - get yourself through it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Sometimes people can tell when you are sad.

Usually I can hide it very well. Which may be a good or a bad thing.


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## anonymouskitty (Jun 5, 2012)

Hey hurting, its only natural that you lose some if not a lot of self esteem and when that goes down you feel like you're the center of attention or as you said its like you have BS label attached to you....Don't worry about it it will go with time but there are some remedial measures you can try to bolster you confidence and self esteem

1) New Hairstyle
2) New clothes
3) Exercise 
4) Just keep repeating "This bloody planet revolves around me, I am the center of the universe, He's/She's just in it for the ride, if he/she can't keep up with me well he/she can Get The FVck out of my world"


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

If you have lived in a relatively small community and your spouse is primarily servicing locally, you may be the only person to not have known.


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