# Am I Overreacting?



## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

My husband and I have been under a bit of stress lately. He had an interview for a new, better job today and he wont find out till next week if he is getting hired or not. They are only hiring 1 person and 70 applied. Plus our 3 year old son is having minor surgery next Wednesday, though its nothing major, they are still putting him to sleep.

For personal reasons I have been off birth control since November of last year. Since then we have been using condoms or other methods.

To help relieve the stress a little bit I thought we could have some fun and I bought the Plan B pill (next day birth control method) from our local pharmacy. I told him that I had a surprise for him, trying to be all cute and what not...so I gave it to him...

He looks at the box, reads it and says "How much did this cost?". My response was "Why does that matter?... He was like it doesn't, I was just wondering.

I work full time as does he. I dont see why the price mattered. This really made me a tad upset. 

So then I was like we can have fun for 2 days on this!.. and he was like no, this is for one day. The box clearly says that you have 72 hours (3 days) to take it after unprotected sex. So I figured 2 days of fun would be safe, then ill take it.

I then said that he takes the fun out of everything...and proceeded to the bathroom for a shower.

Am I overreacting that this upset me? 

I feel like my effort to relieve some of our stress was totally rejected.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I don't think you overreacted.
Talk to him. He is probably just so stressed out with the job and your son and didn't realize what you were trying to do.

Let him know in a nice way and hopefully he'll catch on.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

I probably wouldn't mind if he had asked how much it cost. It is pretty known that something like that needs to be bought from the pharmacy so it kind of is a valid question.

Where he is so stressed out wondering about the new job I wouldn't read much into it.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

_"I then said that he takes the fun out of everything."_

That's the point where all hope of fun went away. Instead of bantering or talking about an object, you made a personal accusation. Yes, I think you overreacted.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

I didn't mention it after my shower. We went about our normal night. Put our son to bed, watched tv and cuddled. We didn't have sex. I didn't try...nor did he. Wouldn't any husband have killed for the opportunity to have careless fun sex with their wife? Wouldn't it have been in the back of his mind that we had this pill...and he would've jumped on me as soon as we went to bed? I'm sure I'm totally reading into this too much. Ahh!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

I actually think u are overreacting some. we talking about pregnancy that isn't something to turn ur nose at, the implications are huge. 
Now if there's other issues here and ur tying these all together than that's something different.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

Mrs. K.... I don't mind so much that he asked the price, I think it was the way he did it. I guess I was expecting him to at least smile or act even remotely excited....but instead he gave me a blank face and asked how much it was. Boooooo!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

Effess - I'm bored with my sex life, no doubt. After 5 years its not fireworks like it used to be. Being off of birth control has definitely changed the wow factor on my end at least. I feel like I failed trying at trying to spice things up a bit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

There's a ton of ways to spice it up - being able to have sex w/o condoms is the least u can do. I dont know what u do already but that's one of the few things in life that's doesn't have a cost.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Do you want more kids ? If you already have one child and want a totally hormone free birth control, have you ever considered the hormone free Copper IUD, I LOVE LOVE LOVE mine .... I've never taken birth control our entire marraige... but we did have some infertility years after our 1st son .... after the babies started coming , we pretty much used condoms & lived around my ovulation cycle.... that natural planning thing. He was never crazy about those condoms though....

ONce I got the IUD, I felt sexual freedom come upon me... once inserted (in the obgyn's office in 2 minutes )... that's it - you are protected....can stay in up to 12 full years, you don't have to do a thing. I've had mine for 5 so far, not one issue, I praise this birth control...I feel there is nothing better if you are monogomous, married & not ready to make anything pernament. 

If/when you decide to have another child... just a visit to the Docs, he takes it out & your are fertile again. My aunt had her one & only child after she got her IUD out , she was 42. 

What Is ParaGard®? | ParaGard® (copper intrauterine contraceptive)

I can see your husband asking this question...had I been him, I would have also... sometimes it is best to talk to our spouses about stuff like that....It sounds so much like the Morning after pill, how do you get this from the pharmacy, do you need a Docs perscription - I might feel funny about having unprotected sex if I might lead having to rely on a pill to destroy it somehow. Without knowing all the facts in advance, I'd likely have to do some research just to relax on that one. A simple condom might have been less worrisome in the moment. I don't know. 

Here is a review site about PLan B Plan B Reviews & Ratings at Drugs.com


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

We used condoms for 9 years. I'm allergic to latex, so non latex it was. we found other ways to spice up the sex life. I'd surprise him in lingerie or we'd buy new toys and so fourth. Trying a new position or location is always nice. I write short love letters showing my appreciation. We snuggle holding hands every night. My husband a few months back did get the big V. However, we are done having children. At least I think we are. He never got retested and I'm not pushing the issue. I guess I'll find out soon if it worked or not.lol. I'm not in any physical shape to raising a child anymore, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if the V failed. We really didn't mind the condoms. We used them quite often with success.

I actually thought the plan B worked for 5-7 days after. I wasn't too pleased, but my young adult daughter decided to get herself the plan B from planned parenthood. They handed her 4 free pills. She's had a steady boyfriend for some time and I'm not happy about her choices. She is taking this too lightly in my opinion, but that's another story and she is a legal adult. A young one at that. 

Different pharmacies have different prices and manufactures of this product. I've read it can be expensive. Your husband should of been more understanding. You work full time and are entitled to buy a gift for him if you'd like. My husband and I are fairly frugal, but we do not get upset if one buys an extra luxury item once in a great while. We've never been upset with each other on this and I haven't worked in 11 years.

Good luck. I hope your able to enjoy your moment.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

SimplyAmorous- We do want more kids, just not right now. I have been looking into the IUD and pretty much decided that I will be getting one as soon as my cycles are back. I was on the depo shot for a year and since getting off of it in November I have just last month started getting my cycles back. I am waiting for 3 months of normal cycles before I get the IUD just to feel "clean" inside since I was without a period for a year and a half on the shot.

Plan B is over the counter, not prescription. You just ask the pharmacist for it. 

I just felt like maybe some careless sex would help relieve the stress on both of us right now. Right now since birth control is at a stand still...I saw this as an opportunity to re-light the flame and have mind blowing fantastic sex. Apparently he didn't see it as that. He clearly wasn't excited at all. Maybe he's worried it might not work..I don't know ... as he didn't express his feelings about it to me. I surely won't ask at this point either. I won't bring it up. Its not important, it was just disappointing.

P.S. Plan B was $40 with an online $5 off printable manufacturer coupon.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

I guess a bigger issue here is that my H is far from a romantic lover (he's like a 1 kiss, then penetrate kind of person)...and being off of birth control has made it even less "wow" for me. I never turn him down for sex....but I'm never fully in the mood either...as I feel like its a "hassle" for him to put effort into turning me on. I gave him subtle hints at first..then eventually flat out just told him that I love to kiss and be romantic and it would arouse me so much more if he made an effort to do that. Even if I try to do it, he still pulls away and goes right to penetration. After I express my feelings, he'll be ontop of it for a week...then he goes back to his effortless self. ugh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Do you want more kids ? If you already have one child and want a totally hormone free birth control, have you ever considered the hormone free Copper IUD, I LOVE LOVE LOVE mine .... I've never taken birth control our entire marraige... but we did have some infertility years after our 1st son .... after the babies started coming , we pretty much used condoms & lived around my ovulation cycle.... that natural planning thing. He was never crazy about those condoms though....
> 
> ONce I got the IUD, I felt sexual freedom come upon me... once inserted (in the obgyn's office in 2 minutes )... that's it - you are protected....can stay in up to 12 full years, you don't have to do a thing. I've had mine for 5 so far, not one issue, I praise this birth control...I feel there is nothing better if you are monogomous, married & not ready to make anything pernament.
> 
> ...



Did that hurt to have it put in? I have also never been on birth control and have always pretty much relied on NFP and breastfeeding. Now that I have no babies to nurse and feel completely "done" I want to look into this but I am a big baby


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

There is another angle to consider. You mention he is looking for a better job, which implies he has a job. But, is the current job enough to keep up with everything?

You say you two are under stress. Looking for a job is stressful, on both of you. 

He doesn't know if he will get it or not. 
He might be concerned his current employer will find out.
Will it put his current job at risk?

All this stress, can make it difficult or impossible to perform as he would like for a sexual encounter. 

He might be ashamed that things are not working as it should.
He might be afraid he will let you down.

I think if you give him a break and take the stress of performing off his shoulders, he might feel better and you'll get back to where you need to be.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

Dormant- His current employer knows about him looking for another job. He just finished school and it pursuing a job in his degree. His current job pays decent..as well as myself working full time, we're doing okay.

I'm sure I'm just being over sensitive...I just feel like I'm trying to take stress off...and he's not interested. I feel rejected.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Oh well, it was a thought..


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