# weekends...



## faithaqua (Nov 28, 2011)

I used to look forward to weekends so I could be with my family but since my H abandoned the marriage, moved out, etc. I HATE the weekends. I get so desperately sad...I tried to contact H last night---he did reply via text but his responses were monosyllabic.
I wonder if I'll ever get over this hurt---he says he's filing for the divorce but I have yet to see any papers come my way. I am not contesting it as there doesn't seem to be any point. He doesn't love me or want me anymore---he didn't say that but this would be one of those instances where reading actions says it all. Actually, he left because of my son who is mentally/emotionally ill and yes, a lot of work. My friend pointed out that he didn't leave "me" that he left the "situation." Ironically, my son will be placed in a residential facility within the month---the departure of my H caused more turmoil on top of my boy's stuff. Let's just say it's rough all over. I picture my H laughin' it up and meeting women---and I want to cry! 
Is it normal to think that there should still be faithfulness re:sex since we are still officially married? I can't even imagine meeting, talking, or wanting another---guess I'm still married emotionally. Sigh---I'm all over the place. 
Look forward to my fellow boat members input :0)


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## lovemygirls (Feb 26, 2012)

The weekends are difficult! I'm smack in the middle of the 3rd largest city. When I'm able to drag myself outside for a moment, and see all the families, and all the laughing people, I feel deflated immediately. I agree, it is tough! 

"He doesn't love me or want me anymore"
Print this: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/24866-10-break-up-boundaries.html
Read it over and over. And when you want to text him, read it again.

Meanwhile, try to get out. Bookstore, grocery store. Put your shoulders back and your chin up!

Can't do it today? Put on some music, or a movie etc. and cook a killer dish. It'll take your mind off it temporarily. Sure, it's a bandaide on a bullet wound and is not a fix, nor is it addressing the problem, but it might help with your sanity. 

If you think he's out there meeting women, laughing it up. Fine. We're all at different phases of grieving. And if he is doing that, I can guarantee he feels like **** this morning. (FYI, I can't imagine meeting, talking or wanting another either).

Finally, realize that your husband has hurt you. Sounds simple right? But think about it. OUR SPOUSES HAVE LEFT US! That hurts! Now, the continued hurting is our own projection of ourselves. Time to regain the dignity, confidence and pride for yourself, your son, and all the others in your life.


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## Toby (Jan 13, 2011)

Hi Faith, your story is so sad. It showes you what kind of pearson can really be when true life comes along. So sorry you have been left to handle it all by yourself. I have been dealing with a husband with a brain injury and he decided to start a new life because he cant cope with his own issues. I also am at the place of letting go after 22 years. Men can not cope with much caregiving long term. As much as my father loved my mom 55 years he couldnt cope with her dementia. It was difficult to watch, he passed 18 months after she did. Focus on you and your child, I know easier said than done. Good luck keep posting for support. Toby


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Know you are not alone when it comes to disliking, even hating the weekends.

It's been a year now since my separation started. The last 4 months I have been totally alone, in a new city, living alone. No friends here, just mom and brother and bro's wife. Even had to find another "home" for my beloved lab. While everyone else looks forward to the weekends I say "big deal, so what, whoopee"!

I do get to see my son and his family at least once a month (2 hrs away), my mom frequently but that's all. Highlight of my day, week wise, is if I have a job interview. Had one yesterday, casual position, and I really hope I get it, at least I'll have something to look forward to.

I spend a lot of time reading, listening to music (my kind finally), writing (on the computer) and learning to be with me and enjoy it. After all, if you don't like your own company, how can anyone else?

Eventually the weekends won't be so bad. It takes time but it will happen. Here's to better ones ahed!


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

I enjoyed reading the responses on here. I hate the weekends too. It hurts so much to have my son leave and go off with his dad without me. 

I hope all of you get through this weekend and find some happiness along the way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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