# Lesson from a movie? "Don't try to be good. Just be with me."



## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Was watching the HBO movie "Chemical Hearts" last night, and the love scene between the virgin guy and the non-Virgin woman seemed realistic until she said something that was a bit wise beyond her years, and kind of got to me.

She was telling him not to expect too much because she was "rusty" (it had been almost a year for her). He said not to expect anything from him because he wouldn't know what he was doing (first time). OK, so far, normal stuff. But then, as they got to it, and he looked just a bit anxious, she calms him down by saying "Don't try to be good. Just be with me."

Here on TAM it can seem like the focus is on how great sex would be if our partner just knew what they were doing (especially the guy), and some burn through partners looking to find that guy or woman who's got it figured out. Lots of pressure that first time with the new person. How different things might go if someone had the calm & reassuring presence to say something like that.

It might even be appropriate once in a while for a long-married couple. Our needs might not always be for that strong O or even an O all the time. Just be with me. I won't judge you for the "quality" of the physical experience. Just be with me.


----------



## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Most of my references have been from a retrospective standpoint, but I've never placed pressure on anyone. I would never have thought to be calm enough to calm someone else because I usually felt more pressure than I ever placed on them. It was my own performance and their pleasure that concerned me at the time, but I can't report on that without a record of their opinion. I don't think it's as simple for a girl nor as demanding as you might think it is or as the impressions from the afterthought musings in retrospect might have given you.

So you're right. Maybe it would be nice for each party involved.
But not all the time. LOL


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'll probably never watch it but I like the perspective.

Thanks for sharing it!


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Casual Observer said:


> "Don't try to be good. Just be with me."


"Ok. But I'm going to pretend I'm with someone else."


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

SpinyNorman said:


> "Ok. But I'm going to pretend I'm with someone else."


OUCH!!!!


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

LisaDiane said:


> OUCH!!!!


I guess pillow talk can have too much candor.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

SpinyNorman said:


> I guess pillow talk can have too much candor.


Was that really "pillow talk"...or a pillow CLUB...?? Lol!


----------

