# Men & Women and their "prime"



## invisibleme (Aug 14, 2011)

Ladies and gents, when would you say you are "in your prime"? What age range. I am 30 and I feel like I'm in my prime. I enjoy sex and want to do it all the time. But my husband is the complete opposite and he's the same age. Is a mans prime age different from a womans?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes the sexual prime for men and women are different.

For men in in their late teens. For women it's ages 30-45 (roughly). Then some women taper off after 45. Some do not.

I read something about this that for men, they tend to settle into a 3 times a week pattern for life after their teens/early 20's.


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## invisibleme (Aug 14, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Yes the sexual prime for men and women are different.
> 
> For men in in their late teens. For women it's ages 30-45 (roughly). Then some women taper off after 45. Some do not.
> 
> I read something about this that for men, they tend to settle into a 3 times a week pattern for life after their teens/early 20's.


Oh wow. We're way off then... I would gladly settle for 3 times a week. Im lucky if I can get it 3 times a month from my husband. I feel so neglected its awful!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

invisibleme said:


> Oh wow. We're way off then... I would gladly settle for 3 times a week. Im lucky if I can get it 3 times a month from my husband. I feel so neglected its awful!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How long have the two of you been married?

What has your sex life been like from that start to now? Has it decreased? If so when did that happen?


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## invisibleme (Aug 14, 2011)

We've been together for 3 years but married for 1 year. Sex was great in the beginning. Sometimes we'd do it 3 times a day. Two babies later it's decreased down to 3 times a month. :-(
It's really taking a toll on me and my insecurities. I don't even feel like a woman anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Has he given you any indication of why he's not interested in sex?


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## MWD (Jul 16, 2012)

Define 'Prime'. My SO and I are in our prime when we are 'connected' and our relationship is good. We are in our prime when we are communicating and not holding on to resentments. 

-MWD


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## MWD (Jul 16, 2012)

Also, do not make attempts to guess what is going on in his mind. Just as men should not attempt to guess what is going on in her mind. It is an exercise in futility and will only lead to frustration. 

Talk to him. 

-MWD


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If you measure 'prime' by the number of possible or desired encounters per day I would say my prime was about age 17. If its measured by the quality, well I think I'm a much much better lover today than at age 17. I've learned a thing or two over the last 25 years.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Agree 100% with the previous post. Nature plays a cruel joke on men by plotting physical ability and opportunity (knowledge, wisdom, income, taste in things, etc. to become attractive to the opposite sex) on such different vectors.


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## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

I'm 34 and feel like I'm peaking now! If only I had someone to take it out on since hubby has no interest 



invisibleme said:


> Im lucky if I can get it 3 times a month from my husband. I feel so neglected its awful!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hmm try 3 times a year which is my average two years running


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## DDC (Jul 16, 2012)

Anomnom said:


> I'm 34 and feel like I'm peaking now! If only I had someone to take it out on since hubby has no interest


*Stoically volunteers*


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## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

DDC said:


> *Stoically volunteers*


lol! I'm probably a little far away!


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## cjpa (Jul 17, 2012)

Yes, it's true, that's why women become "cougars" lol--our men are through and we are at our peak! It SUCKS.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Son of Kong (Jul 12, 2012)

I think I'm in my prime right now, little past 40 why? Well even though "it" is not always as hard as an 18 yr old I pay much more attention to the pleasure that I am giving and receiving. At 18 it is all about having sex, at my age it's all about the sex I'm having.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

No, ladies, not all men. I'm 45, and I still have nearly the same drive as when I was a teen. My W claims to have low/no drive, but she usually agrees a few times a week. If she was willing, I'd probably be all over her most nights. 

I wonder if part of the reason men start dropping off is b/c they let their bodies go to hell. I do weights/cardio and stay in shape, but most guys I know at 30+ yo are overweight and look pretty out of shape.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I'm a man. "They" say men peak in their teens and early 20's. That however does not fit my experience at all. I have felt more viral, horny, and sexually alive in my late 20's/early 30's then I ever did as a kid. I have spontaneous erections all day, every day now, and that was not the case then. I masturbate more, have more sex, and watch more porn now than then. The virility was so unexpected, my body so responsive, that I did my fair share of trying to figure out if something was "wrong" with me, or if there was really such a phenomenon as "second puberty".


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I think there's a difference between what's called 'genital' prime and 'sexual' prime. Hormones take over with males in their teens and then taper off in their 20's-30's, but that doesn't mean their sexual prime has ended - in fact, it should be just the beginning. Using the brain as a sex organ takes practice. Having a loving partner whom you connect with on a deep level is also something that takes time and work. The same, of course, holds true for women.


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## SprucHub (Jan 13, 2012)

Mid 30's male - I see no drop off from my teens 20's. Could and would do it all day. Do not get that opportunity though.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

The Bump smartphone app finally needs to start carrying medical data, so two people could bump and see if their hormone levels match. Would save many wasted youths.


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## EddieJ333 (Mar 10, 2012)

I think the sex drive of each person doesn't have to do with genre, but with very different things like mood, temperament, education, etc. And so it is with the prime age. It is different on each individual. I've know women at their fourties being more vital than much women at their 30's or even at their 20'2.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

cjpa said:


> Yes, it's true, that's why women become "cougars" lol--our men are through and we are at our peak! It SUCKS.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I felt this way when I hit 42, after we had our last baby.... I suddenly went nuts for sex, felt like I stepped into the body of a hormonal young male entering puberty or something.... with this came the desire to look at porn ....if he didn't want me looking at it, I think I would have knocked his head off, we rented it ....and I wanted it 3 times a day, he couldn't keep up with that - I basically LIVED for whenever he was able .... I squeezed every drop out of him. Thankfully he had a really amazing attitude about this!! 

I also feel it is a cruel Joke what God has done to the sexes. It is true that a young male and an older woman are a great sexual match...but only for a "season"... also a younger woman and an older man are better matched too - because they are lesser inclined to want to go at it like Bunny rabbits. But again, only for a season.... so best for each couple to understand each other and work with each other through our differing Primes. 

This books explains all of this excellently -- how our hormones (so many of them & all their profiles)...affect our brains & behaviors...and how we act when they are out of whack...too little *vasopressin * inhibits bonding & attachment for example, too much *prolactin* (breastfeeding) zaps the sex drive, How *Dopamine* is pleasure seeking, if too low... we get depressed - loose our ZEST for life... if too high, we may be schizophrenic. 

Too high of *Testosterone* has it's issues too = statistically more affairs & more divorces. Abnormally high - the Prison walls are full of such men. 

The Alchemy of Love and Lust : Theresa L. Crenshaw: Books



> *thunderstruck said*: I wonder if part of the reason men start dropping off is b/c they let their bodies go to hell. I do weights/cardio and stay in shape, but most guys I know at 30+ yo are overweight and look pretty out of shape


 Some men are blessed with MORE testosterone than others...it can also be a Genetic thing... sometimes that is a blessing, sometimes a curse. My husband has never been overweight a day in his life...but he was never one who had those HIGH levels either... or so I don't believe...

But this also helps him have a naturally calm demeaner, not aggressive, also nearing 50 still has a full head of hair....I do wish he had a little more of that antsy "gotta have you now" Lust at times, but I wouldn't trade the other good parts that result from his lower (but still normal) levels.


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## DDC (Jul 16, 2012)

Anomnom said:


> lol! I'm probably a little far away!


Air miles, Anomnom. Air miles.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Darwin's cosmic joke. Survival of the somewhat less than the fittest. When a couple is young he wants it all the time but they're both bad at it. When a couple is older, same thing but it's his fault. Sometimes I think extinction of the species is the answer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Anomnom said:


> I'm 34 and feel like I'm peaking now! If only I had someone to take it out on since hubby has no interest
> 
> 
> 
> Hmm try 3 times a year which is my average two years running


NO NO NO!!!!!!

Why are you still with him if he isnt intimate with you???


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

3 x/year means something is definitely wrong. 

As a man in his early 40s, I have definitely seen a drop off, but I still want it about 1-2x/week. When I was 16....well, you don't want to see my pillows. 

I would say it was a gradual decline from 16 to about 35. Since 35 it's stayed about level to now. Hopefully it will stay that way and not go down a lot further. Being with the same partner the whole time makes it more challenging, I would think. If I had a different partner every so often, I'd probably perk up. But that's part of being in a long marriage - things settle more.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Gabriel said:


> 3 x/year means something is definitely wrong.
> 
> As a man in his early 40s, I have definitely seen a drop off, but I still want it about 1-2x/week. When I was 16....well, you don't want to see my pillows.
> 
> I would say it was a gradual decline from 16 to about 35. Since 35 it's stayed about level to now. Hopefully it will stay that way and not go down a lot further. Being with the same partner the whole time makes it more challenging, I would think. If I had a different partner every so often, I'd probably perk up. But that's part of being in a long marriage - things settle more.


Nothing wrong with the settling! 
Everytime you have sex with that person, you are sharing a history together. I think its wonderful


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

thunderstruck said:


> I wonder if part of the reason men start dropping off is b/c they let their bodies go to hell. I do weights/cardio and stay in shape, but most guys I know at 30+ yo are overweight and look pretty out of shape.


Drive was never a problem to begin with, but working out daily has boosted mine more. 

Plus being in shape makes sex more fun. Sloth and laziness pay off right away, that is why it is so seductive. I fell into that trap and I'm working hard to go the other way now.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> ... with this came the desire to look at porn ....if he didn't want me looking at it, I think I would have knocked his head off, we rented it


Hmm, that wouldn't sit well with me. Wifey was very anti-porn earlier. 

I'm curious, if you caught your hubby looking at porn at 25, what would you have done?



SimplyAmorous said:


> Too high of *Testosterone* has it's issues too = statistically more affairs & more divorces. Abnormally high - the Prison walls are full of such men.
> 
> Some men are blessed with MORE testosterone than others...it can also be a Genetic thing... sometimes that is a blessing, sometimes a curse. My husband has never been overweight a day in his life...but he was never one who had those HIGH levels either... or so I don't believe...


I know it is genetic, but is it testosterone or other parts of the brain? You're describing my mom's family there. Rampant affairs and divorces. Over time I've figured out a lot of it is firgging over the top drive among both the men and women. No abuse AFIAK, just insane drive.

I have a hard time seeing it as only testosterone since my female cousins are beautiful, thin women and wouldn't hi testosterone tend to make women butch?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

bkaydezz said:


> Nothing wrong with the settling!
> Everytime you have sex with that person, you are sharing a history together. I think its wonderful


I don't subscribe to the notion of settling. I married my wife because I want her for the rest of my life.


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