# Husband is cheating, but really good in hiding



## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

Hi everyone!
I am new here.
But I would like to ask a question and maybe some advice. 
I am from Dubai, I came here in March 2020, got married with the live of my life! I left in dubai everyone and everything I had for this man. We got married in May 2020, but till now we haven't done my documents for green card. I am being patient, but I cant do anything- work, get driving license. 
Had seen some inappropriate conversation on his phone with another woman, he told me stories that i believed him.
He is planning a weekend at the house he bought before our marriage and I strongly feel that there will be this women. 
My passport was expired this month, so basically I am without any documentation. 
My question is should I go on the weekend to see what is happening there and if he is cheating on me or I should close my eyes and live with this pain?
Really sorry for making it so long. 
I am just really lost and I don't know what to do.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Reem27 said:


> My question is should I go on the weekend to see what is happening there and if he is cheating on me or I should close my eyes and live with this pain?


 yes go and see how it works from what you say , 


Reem27 said:


> My passport was expired this month, so basically I am without any documentation


 work on getting this you will need this and they can take weeks to renew one , 


Reem27 said:


> we haven't done my documents for green card. I am being patient, but I cant do anything- work, get driving license.


are you waiting on him to do it or are you doing it yourself , you need to take control


Reem27 said:


> Had seen some inappropriate conversation on his phone with another woman, he told me stories that i believed him.


you believed him but your not fully or you would not have posted this , and you posted that she might be on the weekend so you believe and don't , you are new in your relationship you need to show him that you will not except any crap and just because you are married this does not say you will become a doormat 


Reem27 said:


> Really sorry for making it so long.
> I am just really lost and I don't know what to do.


read up on improving yourself taking more responsibility for documents , the good thing is he let his phone around and you could see the messages he sent it is when people lock their phone and pc you can start asking what is to hide ,


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

Regarding my documents I cant finish then without his support. I was asking for it for 5 months already, but every time something comes up and we can't finish it.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Reem27 said:


> 5 months


 this is a long time I ask you to make a list of what needs to be done what you can do and what he needs to do , I don't know how much free time you have or he has and what role you are taking in your relationship , it is very important to get your paper right , without your are a prisoner and not a wife I take it when you say you came here means when you moved to THE USA


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## coquille (May 8, 2018)

Reem27 said:


> Hi everyone!
> I am new here.
> But I would like to ask a question and maybe some advice.
> I am from Dubai, I came here in March 2020, got married with the live of my life! I left in dubai everyone and everything I had for this man. We got married in May 2020, but till now we haven't done my documents for green card. I am being patient, but I cant do anything- work, get driving license.
> ...


Is your husband planning the weekend away without you? You DEFINITELY need to go with him. I don't see why you wouldn't go spend the weekend without you in this house. Didn't he ask you to come with him? Don't live with the pain. Also, make sure not to get pregnant. 

You mentioned he is the love of your life, are you the love of his life too? When you confronted him regarding the inappropriate texts with this woman, what did he say to that? Has he been in contact with her after you discovered the texts? Do you have access to the phone bill and can check the phone numbers he has been contacting?

Can you take care of your own documents and work on getting the green card without his help? It seems suspicious that he let the passport expire without helping you work on your documents. 

You left everything and everyone to live with this man, and it doesn't sound right that he is being neglecting you and possibly cheating on you. How is everything else with him? Also, do you work?


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> this is a long time I ask you to make a list of what needs to be done what you can do and what he needs to do , I don't know how much free time you have or he has and what role you are taking in your relationship , it is very important to get your paper right , without your are a prisoner and not a wife I take it when you say you came here means when you moved to THE USA


The list is there and everything what was needed from my side was already completed. 


frenchpaddy said:


> this is a long time I ask you to make a list of what needs to be done what you can do and what he needs to do , I don't know how much free time you have or he has and what role you are taking in your relationship , it is very important to get your paper right , without your are a prisoner and not a wife I take it when you say you came here means when you moved to THE USA


Everything what needed to be done from my side i have completed. But I cant proceed without some paperwork that only he needs to do. I have the list and I am reminding and pushing him every weekend, but every time something comes up.


coquille said:


> Is your husband planning the weekend away without you? You DEFINITELY need to go with him. I don't see why you wouldn't go spend the weekend without you in this house. Didn't he ask you to come with him? Don't live with the pain. Also, make sure not to get pregnant.
> 
> You mentioned he is the love of your life, are you the love of his life too? When you confronted him regarding the inappropriate texts with this woman, what did he say to that? Has he been in contact with her after you discovered the texts? Do you have access to the phone bill and can check the phone numbers he has been contacting?
> 
> ...


Yes he is saying that he will be with his friends, but there only be guys.
He is saying that I am the best thing that ever happened to him, but not sure how true it is. 
He is still in contact with this woman, but I cant access WhatsApp because he put block on it. Phone bills I cant view unfortunately, I don't have access to that. 
After I discovered the conversation, he said that it was a joke his friend asked him to do.
At the moment I don't work, because I don't have work permit yet. Can't finish the process of my green card without his help.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

i think your been fooled by this man , you said he was the love of your life , but I think it was only one way , he now has you in that you have no passport and you are under his control, as well what type weekend is this going to be for him and you if he is going with a lot of boys and he is in some type contact with this other woman is she going to be their escort girl or sex slave for the weekend , are the others bringing their gf /wife does he want to have time with you on the weekend or does he just want you to be a fifth wheel or does he want to share you with his friends , I think your are trapped by a man that is winding you around his finger , 

just how much will you except from him 
is it ok with you if he is chatting with other women in a sexual manner ?
are you ok with him having sex with other women ? 
now that your passport has run out does that send you back to day one and do you have to start over again ,?
will you stay with him if he has not made time for you to help you get your paper work done in say 3 or 5 months 
,is there anyone that can help you with the paperwork needed and if it is ont done what can you do to get away from him if needed , 
what age is he and you how did you met him ?


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

What was the text saying to this woman?


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Did you come here on a K1 Visa? Not sure if you are aware but there are support groups for those on Facebook. People on there can give you good advice on what you need to do considering your situation. You should join one of those groups and ask.


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> i think your been fooled by this man , you said he was the love of your life , but I think it was only one way , he now has you in that you have no passport and you are under his control, as well what type weekend is this going to be for him and you if he is going with a lot of boys and he is in some type contact with this other woman is she going to be their escort girl or sex slave for the weekend , are the others bringing their gf /wife does he want to have time with you on the weekend or does he just want you to be a fifth wheel or does he want to share you with his friends , I think your are trapped by a man that is winding you around his finger ,
> 
> just how much will you except from him
> is it ok with you if he is chatting with other women in a sexual manner ?
> ...


That is the thing that he don't want me being present there on the party. He is saying he is organizing party for his boys friends. But the way he is preparing the house is not like the guys are going to hang out. I saw from distance on the phone he was talking with her on WhatsApp, but as soon as he saw me he locket the app. I will never be ok with my man being with anyone else. It will destroy me. 
I don't have anyone here except him and his parents. So no one can support with documents except him.
He is 37 and I am 32. We met in 2015 through mutual friend.


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

Beach123 said:


> What was the text saying to this woman?


The conversation was about what kind of romance they want from each other. 
He explained it that he was sending this from his phone number being blocked and that it was request from his mutual friend to do it.


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

Enigma32 said:


> Did you come here on a K1 Visa? Not sure if you are aware but there are support groups for those on Facebook. People on there can give you good advice on what you need to do considering your situation. You should join one of those groups and ask.


Yes I came by K1 visa. 
Thank you very much for advice! I will have a look.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

you need to push some doors , look for people that help emergent's ,


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> you need to push some doors , look for people that help emergent's ,


Thank you!
I will try to find some support.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I agree he is cheating. He’s a disgusting jerk. My suggestion is for you to go back home and see about getting this “marriage” annulled. Divorce if that isn’t possible. I’m sorry you’re in this mess. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## coquille (May 8, 2018)

Reem27 said:


> The conversation was about what kind of romance they want from each other.
> He explained it that he was sending this from his phone number being blocked and that it was request from his mutual friend to do it.


You are smart enough to know that he is lying to you and he is not by any means a good husband. If you want stay in the US, you need to find a way to obtain the green card without his help. It looks like he has his mind somewhere else and he is planning his future with this other woman, and it might be the reason why he hasn't worked on getting you the green card. If you want to stay close to your family rather than being alone in the US and dealing with this man's b.s., then just book a flight, pack your stuff, and go home and divorce him there.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

He knows he has you in a helpless position and is taking advantage of it. There is no amount of monitoring that can stop cheating. You need to get back to your family as long as you were happy there. Work on getting your passport updated online or however it has to be done. Make some phone calls. He's never going to admit if he's cheating. He will just say you're crazy.


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

Thank you everyone for your support! I will visit the house to see everything by my self! And will start working on my passport.


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## OnlineStranger (Jun 16, 2021)

Good luck @Reem27


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## overrnbw (Jun 16, 2021)

Sorry to here of your situation Reem. You've gotten some good feedback already so I won't parrot that, but have you spoken with any friends and family back home?


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

overrnbw said:


> Sorry to here of your situation Reem. You've gotten some good feedback already so I won't parrot that, but have you spoken with any friends and family back home?


I have not spoken to them yet. I don't want my family to be really worried about me. They will get crazy. I want to first find out 100% and then do the actions.


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## overrnbw (Jun 16, 2021)

Reem27 said:


> I have not spoken to them yet. I don't want my family to be really worried about me. They will get crazy. I want to first find out 100% and then do the actions.


I understand not involving them yet. Don't want them to hate him potentially. I guess we are your family and friends for now that you talk to. It would be good to have a person in the flesh to speak with as well.


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

overrnbw said:


> I understand not involving them yet. Don't want them to hate him potentially. I guess we are your family and friends for now that you talk to. It would be good to have a person in the flesh to speak with as well.


Thank you very much! It really helps, when you are not talking to yourself only.


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## overrnbw (Jun 16, 2021)

Reem27 said:


> Thank you very much! It really helps, when you are not talking to yourself only.


I've been in your shoes. It sucks. I remember spinning emotionally, crying, losing weight, feeling down. Those are emotions and you have to let go of them. Things get better. You have more control over this than you realize.


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

overrnbw said:


> I've been in your shoes. It sucks. I remember spinning emotionally, crying, losing weight, feeling down. Those are emotions and you have to let go of them. Things get better. You have more control over this than you realize.


Yeah going through that same! Crying for no reason every day, gained weight, stopped believing in myself, stopped trying to do something, don't have any will to do anything. 
Will try to think logically, instead of emotionally.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Reem27 said:


> Yes I came by K1 visa.
> Thank you very much for advice! I will have a look.


I'm going through the process myself so I understand. Check for those groups on FB. I am a member of a few of them. More important than anything right now is getting your paperwork in order somehow and the people in those support groups are really knowledgeable. You don't want this guy screwing you over if you can help it. Look for K1 Journey Visa Group on FB and tell them your situation.


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## overrnbw (Jun 16, 2021)

K1 is awesome btw. I watch 90 Day Fiance with my W.


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## Reem27 (Jun 16, 2021)

Enigma32 said:


> I'm going through the process myself so I understand. Check for those groups on FB. I am a member of a few of them. More important than anything right now is getting your paperwork in order somehow and the people in those support groups are really knowledgeable. You don't want this guy screwing you over if you can help it. Look for K1 Journey Visa Group on FB and tell them your situation.


Thank you very much! I already signed up for couple of them.


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## anna2020 (Dec 3, 2020)

Reem27 said:


> Regarding my documents I cant finish then without his support. I was asking for it for 5 months already, but every time something comes up and we can't finish it.


First thing's first: You need to get your documents all in order! You NEED your independence! Without documents you are nobody here! He knows that and postpones your documentation! Knowing that you have no voice and you can't do much without documents, he does whatever the heck he wants!
If you want to see what's up, go to that house, but make sure nobody sees you. Take your phone with you, take photos (in case of divorce for your evidence that he was cheating). 
Can your family/friends send you money for a ticket to return back to Dubai? Worst case scenario you could go to an embassy or call them and ask them to help you to go back to Dubai. I would be very suspicious of him. Does he have or trying to have several wives? I would not believe a word he says!
If a man who brought you here always find a reason to postpone your documents, he doesn't care much for you. Sorry it's happening to you!


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