# how to show someone can change? oops!!! did i goof???



## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

for those who normally respond, ill be thankful yet again...
tonight was our annual halloween parade for the kiddos...
havent spent much time with h since our little vaca, which went so well...as expected i have maybe thought too much into the great time we were able to have,
so we go to the parade, our town is VERY small so everyone knows everyone elses business. needless to say we saw a lot of friends, i was not feeling so confident about this at all. things went well surprisingly,and made me feel happy to be there together! the kids had a blast, all was good.
we get home, get kids cleaned up and in bed, sit down to eat...homemade as usual...and i started to BREAKDOWN. i dont know why...maybe the beginning of the holidays???
h kept questioning me even after i gain myself back...finally he has seemed so sincere and genuinely concerned...i tell him...
simply put this is the hardest part of the day for me...
from the time i get up i am the strong mom, then i am the strong school cafeteria worker( i have given up my 20+ yr career to do this job...about 10 hrs of physical labor squeezed into 4) to be home with my kids and give h time for side jobs as the $ is so much better,then strong mom,maid,cook,taxi driver,homework helper...then maybe an hour for myself...ALONE. I miss him so much!
why did i share this with him after 4 months? he asked...ya know what he said...it will go back to the way it was. isimply told him NO they would not, After ALL of MY therapy sessions i have learned ALOT about MYSELF, it is a fact that i can ONLY CHANGE ME, NOT HIM...and that i feel i deserve a chance to show him this.
AAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!
the look in his eyes said it ALL! I CAN SEE HE WANTS TO COME HOME...WE NEED TO WORK THROUGH THE OTHER ISSUES TOGETHER,AND HE ON HIMSELF!!!!!
i am so frustrated that i opened up, only to be let down!
opinions on what i should do next...i am planning on just letting it go without saying another word...let him think about it for a while...


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

He's your husband. You aren't a statue. You have feelings too and are working through a difficult time. It's ok that you shared with him. He needs to know the effect that he's having...

All that aside. Don't mention it again. Just move on, like you have and show him your nice side. 

We all know marriage isn't all great or even good. WE are supposed to be there to support each other. Now, as the left spouse, we are walking on eggshells. This is not your normal marriage.


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## Ash22 (Oct 21, 2009)

I agree with CW. First of all, you didn't do anything wrong. You had an emotional moment to put it lightly, and that happens. Look at the situation you are dealing with it, it will happen. And yes he asked and you told him. But then thats that. You told him what you were feeling, how this is effecting you, how you've changed and so forth, and you were in a sense let down by his response. I wouldn't bring it up again to him. Remember:actions speak louder than words. He now knows this, let him do with it what he may. Just be strong. Easier said than done, until one day it becomes second nature. Just stay strong.


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## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

thanks c, and ash...guess what? he is here now...snoring away so loudly i cant even sleep. hmmm, after leaving po'd maybe, just maybe he thought about it!
i expect him to go to work in the morning and continue this shi**y routine he has made of our lives.when you dont expect anything you can not be let down...
thanks for the re-charge! game on again...so to speak!


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Game on alright!


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

I don't like these games. They hurt a lot.. Why not Monopoly??


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