# Does this conversation between my boyfriend and some woman seem like they are trying



## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Here is the conversation between my boyfriend and some strange woman on a community site. Do you think they were organising a meet-up in the end without both sets of children or with the children? She puts out the wall post and he responds to it then the last message is from her. Does it seem innocent or not?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Is your bf serious about his recovery? Is working the steps? Does he have a sponsor? 

Nobody, including you, knows what is going on in your bf's head. If he's not into serious recovery, he doesn't have a clue either.

What are YOUR instincts about the conversation?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

This doesn't look good, to be honest.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

I dont know but when I confronted him about the conversation he tried to casually pass it off with : 

She's like a man. Look at her photo lol

Then texted me goodnight when he knew I was pissed off. I've been stewing on it all night and decided I had enough of the drama and sent him :

Nah I'm not happy. I thought I could trust you in this department at least and trying to friend 2 women in one weekend thats totally ****ed up. Your trying to cheat on me so pretty much go ahead and to it, why not have them both, don't bother me again, you can't be trusted.

His only response was: OK, goodbye.

That's it, didn't try to deny it or explain himself, was just quick to let me walk away.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Boyfriend only


Be glad you gave him the boot!

Next


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

You have been dealing with an alcoholic. Do you know how you can tell an alcoholic is lying? His mouth is moving and sounds are coming out. The fact you know NOTHING about his recovery and he is out there trolling about for women makes it clear there is no recovery (or at least no sincere recovery) going on.

You dodged a huge bullet on this one. I was married to an alcoholic, and I can tell you that if his drinking didn't drive me crazy, the irrational behavior would. Thus, I left. You are seeing first hand how an addict handles life. Just fair warning: Be prepared for him to pop up when you least expect it. Addicts are notorious for being consistently Inconsistent.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Yes. What did you think about the screenshot of the conversation specifically aside from the recovery?


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

As for his recovery, he is supposed to go to 2 sessions a week. The week before last he was supposed to go Monday evening but said he was too tired from work. Then ended up going on the Thursday evening, said he would do Fri evening as well and didn't go to that one because according to him he forgot.

Last week he only went to one.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

lululu said:


> Yes. What did you think about the screenshot of the conversation specifically aside from the recovery?


You are missing the point entirely. What do YOU think the screenshot means? Seriously.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Seriously I need someone to be blunt and tell me, I need to hear it...


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Okay, I'll be blunt. I don't have a clue what your bf is up to. You fail to see that recovery is about life and everything it encompasses. He is lying. He is making crappy excuses for not attending meetings. Why? Because he is lying to himself about his recovery. He is lying to you, using you (whenever possible), and manipulating you. This latest woman? A new victim. Because addicts don't have relationships, they take hostages.

You are not, I repeat NOT, going to understand an addict. And if you think trying to figure out why he wants to hook up with someone else isn't part of his addiction - and lack of recovery - you don't know squat about addicts. First, get the heck out of his business. He owns it, not you. Next, figure out why, after you have set healthy boundaries for what you will and won't accept, you are trying to figure out why he's hooking up with someone else. He's doing it because that is what addicts DO. 

He said "okay" and "goodbye." The question you should be seeking an answer to is why the heck are you fixated on that damn conversation? This is about you, not him. You are posting here, not him. He used you. Now he's moving on. But he'll be back if he decides he needs to use you again. And he won't offer explanations that are sensible or logical. In fact, he'll probably try to throw all of his own mess onto you; you'll be to blame for (1) his drinking, (2) his womanizing, (3) his lying, (4) Original Sin, and, (5) anything/everything else. 

He doesn't need to take responsibility for his crappy behavior. Why should he? You are worried about the meaning of a text message. Codependency at its best.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Do you think he was looking for a hookup?

I understand everything else your saying but just need to understand if what he was trying to do was hookup. Then i can fully close the book and get on with my life.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

lululu said:


> Do you think he was looking for a hookup?
> 
> I understand everything else your saying but just need to understand if what he was trying to do was hookup. Then i can fully close the book and get on with my life.


Cant see any other explanation.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

lululu said:


> Do you think he was looking for a hookup?


Okay, since you can't move on with your life unless you have an answer, I'll give you one. Yes, HE WAS LOOKING TO GET LAID BY SOMEONE ELSE.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

YES he was. Doesn't matter though. You did the right thing and kicked him to the curb, and it didn't even faze him. He wasn't even the least bit concerned. Why question it?
Move on and find somebody who is not an alcoholic cheater for yourself. The good life awaits.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

You really should not need someone else to tell you the sun set last night, and somewhere the moon shone down on two lovers.

The fact you need someone else to validate what is so obviously true shows he has destroyed your ability to see things clearly.

That is the real problem here.

That is the co-dependency in action. The fact you feel the need to question yourself.

Please be well.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

WilliamM said:


> The fact *you need someone else to validate* what is so obviously true shows he has destroyed your ability to see things clearly.
> 
> *That is the real problem here.*
> 
> *That is the co-dependency in action*. The fact you feel the need to question yourself.


:allhail:


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

You are obviously all correct.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

lululu said:


> You are obviously all correct.


I assume that was said with tongue-in-cheek. However, in this particular instance, I know that I am correct. I know more about alcoholics and how they operate than I ever wanted to know.

As I frequently tell posters here, if you don't like the answers, don't ask the questions.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

No I was being sincere


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Then I really owe you an apology. I am sorry. You deserve much better than that jerk. Hold your head high, maintain your boundaries, and don't settle for less.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Prodigal said:


> You deserve much better than that jerk. Hold your head high, maintain your boundaries, and don't settle for less.


 And the best part is you've already done the hard part. 
Now just go NO CONTACT with him forever and you're set.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

OK I'm going to do my best. I think I will stay on here for a while until I'm feeling 100% confident. Thanks for the support


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lululu said:


> OK I'm going to do my best. I think I will stay on here for a while until I'm feeling 100% confident. Thanks for the support


 @lululu you are welcome to stay here for as long as you need.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

6 days no contact, proud of me?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lululu said:


> 6 days no contact, proud of me?


Congratulations on your achievement!
Don’t just sit around mourning your
relationship,go and meet some friends,go to the gym,take a vacation if it’s feasible. Do not get sucked back into his drama,he is an addict and a liar,you deserve better.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

I've been busy with work, busy being mum to my 6 yr old. Planned a mini vacation to see my family at the end of March and lots of weekend activities planned. My cruise holiday to the South Pacific booked for November. I think im doing ok


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*When you're intoning that the kids will not be around for much longer, more especially to some third party person that one has demonstrated a sexual interest in, then let's just say that that is not exactly good news for the sustenance of one's marital vows!*


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lululu said:


> I've been busy with work, busy being mum to my 6 yr old. Planned a mini vacation to see my family at the end of March and lots of weekend activities planned. My cruise holiday to the South Pacific booked for November. I think im doing ok


That’s the spirit. In a few months you will look back and the only regret you will have is the time you wasted on this loser.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

lululu said:


> I've been busy with work, busy being mum to my 6 yr old. Planned a mini vacation to see my family at the end of March and lots of weekend activities planned. My cruise holiday to the South Pacific booked for November. I think im doing ok


Good for you! :wink2:

But I have to be honest here. This guy is SUCH an opportunistic piece of ****. You really need to start putting your son first and providing a safe and healthy environment for him to grow up in because it's totally unfair to subject him to the constant drama and upheaval this human science experiment has continually brought into your lives. Your kid deserves *better* than that and he deserves a mom whose loving and happy and balanced, not one whose constantly upset, angry, sad, crying, or out of touch due to the constant actions of some jack-ass. 

And if Romeo comes sniffing around again (they sometimes do that if they're not able to find another one gullible enough to put up with their crap) then you need to put your son *FIRST*. Not only was it completely unfair to subject him to having this clown move in after only 3 months, but he's also had to put up with all the drama, upheaval and unhappiness this jerk has brought into your lives for almost a year now.

And lastly, he's an alcoholic. In your other thread you say he hasn't 'touched a drop for 2 months' as though that's some kind of super-human feat and a guarantee that he's never going to drink again. Wrong. Alcoholics are about as unpredictable as it gets. Two months is a mere drop in the bucket. When he can say 2 YEARS and still be going strong, then you *might* be able to take him a _little _more seriously - but only a little more. Sorry, but 60 days is nothing. I believe one of the rules of AA is to NOT enter into a relationship for the first year of your recovery. He quite clearly makes his own rules and like a lot of alcoholics before him, he seems to think the rules don't apply to him because he's JUST that special. 

You can't fix an alcoholic. All the the love in the world won't 'fix' him. 

But it's completely *irresponsible* to believe that aligning yourself with an alcoholic doesn't present a very unwelcome and UNHEALTHY element in your son's life, because it does. In every conceivable way. I say this because you'd mentioned in your other thread that Mr. Opportunist had 'suggested' that you let him move back *into* your house in June, when his mother blows into town and starts renting _his_ house. You'd told him you wanted to wait a year to reconsider living together again, and June would only be 6 months. My point is, your reasoning for being hesitant about letting him come back in June had everything to do with *you* feeling rushed, and absolutely nothing to do with what's best for your *son*. 

I can guarantee you - a recovering alcoholic whose already fallen off the wagon God knows HOW many times (you only know of one time but he's a proven liar so you really don't know how many other times) and whose always looking for an opportunity to get get himself a cheap thrill on the side is not who you need to be bringing around your son. He's *NOT*.

You need to start putting your son first and not your own feelings when it comes to making decisions about this creep. Just because he hasn't reached out to you YET doesn't mean he won't - especially if he's unable to find a woman willing to lower her expectations for him. So just keep your son in mind if Mr.Wonderful starts a fishing expedition to see if he can hook you again.

Just consider him a horrible mistake you made that you'll learn from so you don't do it again. .


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Confused with your message arbitrator?


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Shesstillgotit - Hindsight is a great thing and I can see all you have said and agree 100%. Thanks for your blunt honesty, it's keeping me stronger x


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Stay strong!

Have fun. Your best friend is you.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

lululu - Now is the perfect time for you to learn about "hoovering". People like your now ex tend to periodically pop back up and your reaction (or lack thereof) will be important to your health and welfare. No contact is exactly as it sounds - none. None for any reason whatsoever. Look up "hoovering techniques" and get yourself acquainted with the types of games these fools play. Fortify yourself.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You may be done with him but he may not be done with you. 

Be careful.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

lululu said:


> Here is the conversation between my boyfriend and some strange woman on a community site. Do you think they were organising a meet-up in the end without both sets of children or with the children? She puts out the wall post and he responds to it then the last message is from her. Does it seem innocent or not?


Good God, Women!!! :surprise:

Your magic marker cover-ups, redactions, look unbelievably erotic.
Not trying to be funny. They do.

That was the first thing that caught my eye. Then I saw what they were!! :smile2:

Rorschach Drawings showing a man and women in various sexual positions. 
..............................................................................................................
Yes, to your answer. Absolutely yes.

This other women is interested in your man.
She may or may not know of your existence.

Your mate is fishing for this women. And she is jumping on his bait. :frown2:


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Lol SunCMars, I just looked at my scribbles and it certainly does look like sex scenes in abstract form. I'm sitting here laughing like crazy, wasn't intentional.

Yes the conversation they had didn't look good. Was confusing for me to read and understand what the intentions were because my ex kept mentioning to bring his kids and she said weekend without kids. She could have been suggesting that it was a weekend without her kids so she couldn't bring them or she could have been suggesting they meet on a weekend with no kids in the picture at all.
She asked for meet-up tomorrow afternoon and he had replied he had the kids until 6pm, she then said later and he gave a thumbs up. Very confusing indeed

Doesn't matter anymore I guess because im done, even if the meet-up was innocent, he was not transparent or open about it with me, no mention of me in the post such as " Can I get back to you, would like to bring my girlfriend and will check if she is available too"

No mention from him to me about the possible new friend he conversated with.

I can't tolerate being kept in the dark when it comes to new friendships with the opposite sex, everything should be in the open and on the up and up and it wasn't. Glad he is gone from my life


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Magnesium I just read up on hoovering. I'm pretty strong now, I know 100% I don't want him in my life in any way, shape or form so for me it's pretty easy to ignore ignore and ignore if he was to do that. He can Hoover all he likes, he won't get anywhere with me.

I've blocked him off of my Facebook and messenger anyway especially as the day after I broke things off with him when he was at that stage still on my facebook he put up 2 memes taking a dig at me. You will see them attached to this post. At the time i just chose to ignore it but then the following morning I wake up to a post that appeared in my newsfeed on facebook where it was in big bold letters with a very colourful background that you couldn't possibly miss unless you were blind and it said: 

"Was so nice catching up with you Mel, thanks for the coffee (big smiley face inserted) goodluck with today"

Mel is his ex girlfriend from 2 years ago. It appears to me he was just trying to dig the knife in to hurt me more, make me jealous and obviously his goal was to make me think something was going on between them maybe or just the mere fact of rubbing in the fact he spent time with her. Who knows but I thought he was playing a toxic game with me so I blocked him off my facebook and messenger.

After reading about the hoovering this post he publicly displayed to an ex girlfriend really fits in with the narcissistic behaviour. I'm no fool


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Can "Hoovering" include him attempting to add my sister as a friend on Facebook? Why would he do that to you think?


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

She blocked him as soon as the request came through by the way


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I have no idea what hoovering is.

I did not look it up. Sounds like a vacuum cleaner. Trying to suck you back in.

Anything to suck you back into his morass of sickness.

So of course he is going to friend your sister. Anything to get to you.

Can I friend your sister? I think I have the fifth Tuesday of next fall available to chat via text for a few minutes. How much is in your retirement fund?

My wife owns a vacuum cleaner!


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

lululu said:


> Can "Hoovering" include him attempting to add my sister as a friend on Facebook? Why would he do that to you think?


 He's just trying to get info about you or make sure you get it about him. You and your sister handled it perfectly. Just keep up with the NC forever and you'll be good as quickly as possible. If you break NC with him you will get sucked right back into the vortex of **** ('****vortex' per Mr. Lahey) and you will have to climb out of it again.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Be aware his attempts to get to you can go on for the rest of his life. 

I communicated with a woman once, via via a forum like this, who was battling with a woman who was stalking her. They had been in a relationship something like 15 years earlier, and the attempts to get back at her had never stopped. The stalker would go away for years, then appear again, begging and then demanding to reconcile, intruding into every facet of the woman's new life.

Never let your guard down. Never let him think you might communicate. Not for a second.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

11 days no contact. Yesterday was a bad day where I found it hard to hold back the tears but I got through it. Last night he sent me a friend request to my Snapchat. Strangely enough this was not an app he was remotely interested in at the time we were together and didn't actually have it installed on his phone but now he does surprise surprise and then friend requested me so of course I have now blocked him here as well. Why is he doing this?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lululu said:


> 11 days no contact. Yesterday was a bad day where I found it hard to hold back the tears but I got through it. Last night he sent me a friend request to my Snapchat. Strangely enough this was not an app he was remotely interested in at the time we were together and didn't actually have it installed on his phone but now he does surprise surprise and then friend requested me so of course I have now blocked him here as well. Why is he doing this?


He had his fun over the weekend and now he’s probably feeling lonely and sorry for himself.So he thinks “I’ll contact Lululu,she will make a good plan B until someone else comes along”.
Keep doing what you are doing,he’s not your problem anymore.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Seems I forgot to block on Emails, didn't think about that until I got the following email from him: 

(Hi Luan. You can read this email. I'm not texting you anything hurtful.

I'd like you to know a few things. I'm really sad that our relationship came
to an end. I wish we could have made it work. I love you heaps. And I
know you do too. I don't mind you having male friends. 
I don't think it was fair to break up with me for making female friends. I never
would have cheated on you. I've never cheated in my life and never will. I
mean seriously texting with that girl in public for everyone to read???
Don't you think if I wanted to cheat I would do it secretly? And really
with her. She was way not my thing. It was only for the kids and the
German language. Also do you think I would add Rod and Debbie on facebook
a day before I'm accused of cheating? I wanted to spend the rest of my life
with you. I would have never done anything like that to lose you. I
know your emotions came over you and you wern't thinking. I waited nearly
two weeks for you to realize and text me. Never happened. I'm entitled to
having female friends. I let you have male
friends, so why can't it be fair. Considering I've got next to no friends at
all. I don't want you to reply to this, unless you want to make this work
with me. If I don't hear from you then I would like to wish you well. Hope you find
what you want. We really could have had a beautiful future with lots of
things to look forward to. I love you and I miss you.)

Just to clarify I don't know why he says that he let's me have male friends.

I honestly don't have any male friends. The only two males I have in my life are my brother in law who I only send a text or a humorous comedy sketch to maybe once a week but I also send the same stuff to my sister and they dont live in the same state as me so I miss them dearly. The other guy mate I talk with is the maintenance man at my work and that's when we arnt too busy doing our work and it's general chit chat with a work colleague, I never see him or text him outside of work. Other than that I don't have male friends, I certainly wouldn't go out in the world looking to befriend a male nor do I have any interest in doing so because I don't believe it's morally right to do this when your in a committed relationship, I have my girlfriends and thats hard enough to keep up with at the best of times. I definitely dont stay in touch with any ex boyfriends or any hookups from my past.

Really not sure where he was going with this email. Of course I didn't reply, it's been 2 weeks no contact. I feel like all he was trying to do was try to justify having female friends. There was no apologies, no admitting that he went about it all the wrong way or that he was sorry for being selfish and inconsiderate and insensitive to my feelings. Unbelievable!!! Thankgod I'm no longer with him..


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lululu said:


> Seems I forgot to block on Emails, didn't think about that until I got the following email from him:
> 
> (Hi Luan. You can read this email. I'm not texting you anything hurtful.
> 
> ...


Keep up the good work and block him on everything.He is trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty and blaming yourself for his ****ty behavior.
Do not reply to his message but be prepared for more attempts on his part to maneuver you into at least meeting up for a chat.When this doesn’t work he may start to get abusive but if you keep ignoring him he will eventually move on.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

No contact doesn't only mean you don't respond to attempts at contact. It also means not reading texts/emails or listening to voicemails. No contact means no contact. By reading his messages, you're having low key contact. Stop. If another message is sent, delete it without reading it. He's just vomiting words hoping for a reaction so he can suck you back in to continue using you.

By the way, been there done that with alcoholics. This guy is so cliche it isn't even funny. He's sticking to the cheater script and the addict script like a pro!


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Wow really, I have no idea with those things......gosh, how so?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

lululu said:


> Wow really, I have no idea with those things......gosh, how so?


The whole email is deflection, rationalization, and manipulation. The way he wrote it is designed to make you feel guilty, think you were being unreasonable, that you have hurt him, and that you're passing up on a good thing with a totally innocent man who loves you. It's complete bullpucky.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

@lululu, if I recall I told you early on in this thread you can tell an alcoholic is lying when his mouth is moving and sounds are coming out. That email, as MJJEAN so aptly pointed out, is right out of the alcoholic's play book. I was married to not one, but TWO alcoholics. This is exactly how they operate.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Wow ok guys thanks for explaining. 

I feel that he is trying to hold on to something that he knows isn't going to work because he is scared or put off from having to start all over again with someone new. I can understand the hesitation to put up another dating profile, to have to start sifting through the skanky hoes to find another decent woman, to have to be truthful and explain his drinking history and AA Recover meetings to someone else, he would be frightened of rejection because alot of women won't hang around to see what life is like with a recovering alcoholic, some might but alot won't and also not every woman is a fan of being involved with a man that has kids, he is subconsciously probably worried of not being given a chance with the baggage he carries, I totally understand all that because if I was in his shoes I definitely would be too but it's not a good reason to stay within a familiar relationship because you can't be bothered putting yourself out there again. Our relationship became very flawed, I can't see why he would want to continue in it other than it is the easy path and just convenient. That's how I'm looking at it.

I think im the easy path for him, you know a convenient relationship, looks like he only wants me because he can't be bothered starting a fresh with someone new, what an *******.....


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

lululu said:


> Seems I forgot to block on Emails, didn't think about that until I got the following email from him:
> 
> (Hi Luan. You can read this email. I'm not texting you anything hurtful.
> 
> ...


 He said "I" or some form of it 27 times in 34 sentences. You don't think it's all about him?
The highlighted text reinforces that fact by saying this was all you "not thinking" and "going out of your mind". That whole letter was a "You're wrong, I'm not going to change what I do, but I'm giving you another chance to be with awesome Super ME."
You've got the right idea, stay NO CONTACT. There is nothing in this clown for you.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

That's what i was getting from that email too


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

lululu said:


> I feel that he is trying to hold on to something that he knows isn't going to work because he is scared or put off from having to start all over again with someone new. I can understand the hesitation to put up another dating profile, to have to start sifting through the skanky hoes to find another decent woman, to have to be truthful and explain his drinking history and AA Recover meetings to someone else


If he were actually working the steps and committed to AA he wouldn't be thinking about a relationship right now because he'd know that he needs to be sober for a year before his brain chemistry rebalances and he's thinking clearly. AA is very specific about this. Just thought I should point that out.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Yeah I think from a past conversation with him that he knows this, just something he said to me in the past however seems he has chosen to ignore it


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## Machjo (Feb 2, 2018)

lululu said:


> Here is the conversation between my boyfriend and some strange woman on a community site. Do you think they were organising a meet-up in the end without both sets of children or with the children? She puts out the wall post and he responds to it then the last message is from her. Does it seem innocent or not?


It could be innocent. If you have any doubts, why not just talk to him about it?


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## Machjo (Feb 2, 2018)

lululu said:


> I dont know but when I confronted him about the conversation he tried to casually pass it off with :
> 
> She's like a man. Look at her photo lol
> 
> ...


It could have been innocent or not. Either way though, some people don't consider themselves obligated until married; he might have figured since you're not married yet and you want out, who's he to force you to stay?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

lululu said:


> Yeah I think from a past conversation with him that he knows this, just something he said to me in the past however seems he has chosen to ignore it


Yes, there is an elephant without diapers in the middle of the room. He chooses to ignore it. Y'know, you give this drunk far more credit than he deserves. And he rents FAR more space in your head too. Actually, he isn't "ignoring" AA or working the steps. My guess he is still boozing it up. Even if not, he's pulling one helluva dry drunk.

Dump this guy like nuclear waste. He isn't worth your time.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

OMG, WTF.....he just joined up on Instagram just to follow me. I'm getting a little concerned now.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

lululu said:


> OMG, WTF.....he just joined up on Instagram just to follow me. I'm getting a little concerned now.


 As said before BLOCK HIM on every social media and communication platform you use.
The only reason not to would be if you were pain shopping and trying to keep tabs on him.
We KNOW you're not doing that, right?


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

No of course I'm not doing that. I couldn't block of instagram before because he wasn't in it otherwise I would have done this weeks ago


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

It's been a month no contact. All was quiet since last message on here until last night when he actually (well I believe it may have been him) attempted to log into my Facebook account. Lucky for me i have a security feature that notifies me when someone has made such an attempt. He obviously tried to remember a previous password I had given him when we were together. It showed me rough location which matches where he lives and that the device was a Chrome Windows device. I'm in absolute shock.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

lululu said:


> It's been a month no contact. All was quiet since last message on here until last night when he actually (well I believe it may have been him) attempted to log into my Facebook account. Lucky for me i have a security feature that notifies me when someone has made such an attempt. He obviously tried to remember a previous password I had given him when we were together. It showed me rough location which matches where he lives and that the device was a Chrome Windows device. I'm in absolute shock.



You did well.

Stay strong.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

By the way, I meant to add back some days ago, when you had mentioned it was hard to hold back the tears... it is fine to cry.

Crying is good. If you feel like it, don't try to hold back the tears. 

That's my advice, anyway. Cry a bit, and you will feel better. Hold it in, and it will bother you longer. 

But, I don't know for sure. Just my opinion.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

lululu said:


> All was quiet since last message on here until last night when he actually (well I believe it may have been him) attempted to log into my Facebook account. ... It showed me rough location which matches where he lives and that the device was a Chrome Windows device. I'm in absolute shock.


On the first page of this thread, I told you to prepare for the unexpected; namely, he would pop up when you least expect it. If you don't remember, go back and read what I posted. I hate to say I told you so, but in this instance I told you so. 

Block him on everything and anything. While I don't think you should be glancing over your shoulder every time you leave the house, I would highly suggest you prepare for the possibility of him showing up at your door. If he does, be prepared to make a 911 call and then get a restraining order. I'm not saying this to scare you or be dramatic. I'm just giving you my take on this based on my experience with a manipulative addict. 

Again ... he WILL come out of left field when you least expect it. Be prepared.


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## lululu (Nov 20, 2014)

Thanks Prodigal and yes you did warn me however I just never thought he would do this I guess, trying to hack my Facebook. Not sure what he was hoping to find really.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

lululu said:


> Thanks Prodigal and yes you did warn me however I just never thought he would do this I guess, trying to hack my Facebook. Not sure what he was hoping to find really.




Anything to use to get at you. Hooks to grab you by. Anything new he could announce his knowledge of to scare you.

You underestimate his devious nature. Sadly you need to expect him to do things you never expected him to do. Bad things.

But just because he’s bad doesn’t mean everyone is. There’s some good peeps out there.

Hang tight


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