# What activities do you do beside those with your husband?



## mem4625 (Mar 2, 2011)

Hello ladies. I have been told by the men in the men's forum that I need to get some outside interests with my girlfriends. I'm middle aged, ok a little over, and am honestly clueless on what to do or where to start. My life has always been my kids and family. Would you please tell me what YOU do or what YOU would do for outside interests? I would prefer actual experiences not just suggestions like, take up a hobby or "what do you like doing". That is the problem....I am drawing a complete blank thinking of what I like to do. What do you ladies do for fun outside of activities with your husbands? Thank you so much for any input!


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I dance... I orginally just went for girly friendship and fun but after a few years moved into teaching and performing. It's taken up a large part of my spare time over the past decade.

I also do yoga and various types of exercise...can't get H to join me in this sadly.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I like to jog/walk. I participate in 5ks and 10ks with my girlfriends. 

I belong to a book club. I'm joining another book club ..well..maybe it's more of a fan club for a long dead author. 

I help out with PTA activities at school when I have time.


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## mem4625 (Mar 2, 2011)

waiwera said:


> I dance... I orginally just went for girly friendship and fun but after a few years moved into teaching and performing. It's taken up a large part of my spare time over the past decade.
> 
> I also do yoga and various types of exercise...can't get H to join me in this sadly.


Thank you for your input. I did think about going to the gym and getting in really good shape. I already go to the gym on my lunch hour but more exercise couldn't hurt.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Gardening and horseback riding(hubby is afraid of horses) are the only two i can think of that I've done without hubby.


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## mem4625 (Mar 2, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> I like to jog/walk. I participate in 5ks and 10ks with my girlfriends.
> 
> I belong to a book club. I'm joining another book club ..well..maybe it's more of a fan club for a long dead author.
> 
> I help out with PTA activities at school when I have time.


Thank you for your input. Book club? I forgot about Wednesday evening bible study at my church. 

I do love photo editing of any kind. I taught myself photoshop and can do enough to please myself and would love to do some freelance stuff but don't have enough confidence yet. Maybe I'll look into photo editing classes. Thanks.


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## missinglife (May 1, 2012)

mem4625 said:


> Hello ladies. I have been told by the men in the men's forum that I need to get some outside interests with my girlfriends. I'm middle aged, ok a little over, and am honestly clueless on what to do or where to start. My life has always been my kids and family. Would you please tell me what YOU do or what YOU would do for outside interests? I would prefer actual experiences not just suggestions like, take up a hobby or "what do you like doing". That is the problem....I am drawing a complete blank thinking of what I like to do. What do you ladies do for fun outside of activities with your husbands? Thank you so much for any input!


Running and blogging.

Both are huge passions of mine. Running and cooking/baking and then writing about the cooking and baking on my blog.

And I want to take some photography lessons to improve my blog.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I like working with photos, doing photo books, organizing my photos, scanning old ones into the computer.

I paint pictures

I garden

I make a lot of traditional foods from scratch (butter, bone broth, fermented foods, sprouts, yogurt, bread, sauces and dips, etc etc)

Granted none of those are done outside the home, but they're things I do without hubby.


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## mem4625 (Mar 2, 2011)

missinglife said:


> Running and blogging.
> 
> Both are huge passions of mine. Running and cooking/baking and then writing about the cooking and baking on my blog.
> 
> And I want to take some photography lessons to improve my blog.


Thanks. How do you learn to blogg? Do you have to get your own web page?


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm active in a local community organization, I read a lot, I love to cook and I garden. I would love to get into another yoga or dance class, but everything like that in my area would be a bit of a commute.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I go to Plays with friends, sometimes concerts, went to a few Home Cooking shows.. Meeting for lunch we do sometimes. 

We have a huge Flea market not too far from where we live....one of the largest in the state, I have went there with my GF's, spent the day.

Me & a friend has grabbed up all of our kids on a whim a few times & took them picnicing & swimming, dragging our coolers behind us. 

Most of the stuff I do without my husband is ....reading, forums, photography .....and just planning our life & schedules for all of our kids... I plan every vacation for us alone & our large family..... down to every item we pack... we take alot of day trips in the summer. This all keeps me hopping.

I wish I could say I like to cook- but that is just kind of a necessity. I am a good pie maker though.


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## Marielle (Mar 28, 2012)

missinglife said:


> *Running* and blogging.
> 
> Both are huge passions of mine. Running and cooking/baking and then writing about the cooking and baking on my blog.
> 
> And I want to take some photography lessons to improve my blog.


*Missinglife*, Isn't running fantastic? I have many interests but running and marathons have become my main passion and addiction! There's nothing like being in the moment of a glorious long run with sweat dripping and endorphins flying throughout my body. My goal is to qualify for Boston someday...

Some other interests shared with friends and enjoyed alone are:

Road Cycling
Skiing
Tennis
Dancing
Pilates/Yoga
Fashion
Creating new dishes and Drinking Dark Beers and Bordeaux/Merlot 
Animal Charities
I LOVE all great Music (but mainly Jazz, Classical, Opera)
Arts and Lit.
I sing jazz and play the piano and drums (all very badly)
And I love to people watch and try to figure out what makes them tick.



*Edit: Mem4625*, I don't know if long walks and cooking classes have been mentioned, but these activities are also really fun to do with your friends.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I forgot my animal charity work until Marielle's post. I take care of stray animals for a local animal organization. I've done it for over 10 years now. Mostly cats. I'm not close to becoming the crazy cat lady in the neighborhood though my hubby might disagree... :rofl:

My girlfriends and I get together for lunch or brunch somewhere - sometimes a Victorian tea room, outdoor cafe, neighborhood restaurant, someone's house. We also go to films. Sometimes we volunteer at triathlons handing water to the elite athletes (it's very inspirational for my own fitness).


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> II make a lot of traditional foods from scratch (butter, bone broth, fermented foods, sprouts, yogurt, bread, sauces and dips, etc etc)


Have you read _Nourishing Traditions_? Or read the work of Dr. Weston Price?

Your post reminded me of both. I have book btw. A friend of mine gave me her water kefir. I've had it in the fridge for a few days so I hope it's still ok to drink. I'm interested in making my own kefir. She promised to share her grains. With my luck, I'll end up breeding bacteria. :rofl:


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## nachopenguin (Apr 27, 2012)

I sing in a choir, write a blog, make jewelry, and draw.


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## Marielle (Mar 28, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> .....Sometimes we volunteer at* triathlons handing water to the elite athletes (it's very inspirational for my own fitness)*.


I know what you mean about triathletes...

They are a special breed of endurance athletes and the elites are other-worldly awesome and inspirational. And so beautiful to look at...sigh. 



Coffee Amore said:


> *I forgot my animal charity work until Marielle's post. I take care of stray animals for a local animal organization. I've done it for over 10 years now. Mostly cats. I'm not close to becoming the crazy cat lady in the neighborhood though my hubby might disagree...* :rofl.....


I admire you for taking care of these precious creatures, CA. I wish I could do hands-on work but I would become too attached and end up adopting all of them. Thank you for doing the hard work that some of us aren't able to do. Much appreciation and hugs to you, CA.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> Have you read _Nourishing Traditions_? Or read the work of Dr. Weston Price?
> 
> Your post reminded me of both. I have book btw. A friend of mine gave me her water kefir. I've had it in the fridge for a few days so I hope it's still ok to drink. I'm interested in making my own kefir. She promised to share her grains. With my luck, I'll end up breeding bacteria. :rofl:


Yep. I have NT - great resource, although many of the recipes are rather dull. Sally Fallon is a tad too militant for my taste, as is all of the WP Foundation (their stance on microwaves for example).

I've done milk kefir but never water kefir. Kefir is chock full of good bacteria - the bad ones don't stand a chance in there! A few days in the fridge is nothing! I brew my own kombucha - it sits in a warm cupboard for up to a month.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I use to run races and triathlons. I loved rubbing. I quilted and focused on my family.

I'm not the most social person. I love being alone without the company of others, especially on nice days where I can spend my time outside. Funny thing is, my husband is the same way. Although, he still is a superb athlete and will race in ironmans.

I'm disabled with a neck injury and housebound. If I leave any lengthy time, I pay the price of unbearable pain for weeks. I now rarely leave my house, but I'm completely fine with it. I'm able to bike on a stationary bike, but it doesn't cut it as far as running goes. I must take it easy and not push myself too much. I'm not into going out with my friends. They ask me often, but I decline their offers.

I spend a lot of time online with message boards and reading articles on whatever looks interesting. I love to cook/bake everything homemade and healthy. The rest of the time I'm cleaning the house or taking care of our pets. We have more then the average household as far as pets go. They seem to keep me busy on a daily basis.

I do get frustrated when my parents call me a wimp and a loner. I don't appreciate the name calling and it frustrates my husband how much my parents belittle me. My husband is my best friend. We spend a lot of time together. Now our children are older we actually go on short outings together once in a while.

By the end of the evening I'm resting with ice packs on the back of my neck. There isn't much I can do. I take one day at a time. I'm not having a very good day today, so I'm taking it easy. 

It would bother me if I had people telling me what I need to do in my life. I'm pretty content the way things are now.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> Yep. I have NT - great resource, although many of the recipes are rather dull. Sally Fallon is a tad too militant for my taste, as is all of the WP Foundation (their stance on microwaves for example).
> 
> I've done milk kefir but never water kefir. Kefir is chock full of good bacteria - the bad ones don't stand a chance in there! A few days in the fridge is nothing! I brew my own kombucha - it sits in a warm cupboard for up to a month.


The WP folks are a bit off the deep end. They advocate a diet that's too meat rich for my tastes. I remember this one WP mom telling me how to make my own homemade baby formula using bone broth, bits of liver, a raw egg and some other things. Um..no thanks!

Not to t/j..but which books in that genre do you like? I had a yogurt maker for a while but then I gave up on making my own plus my yogurt came out tangier than I like. Then hubby discovered full fat Greek yogurt at the store so that's what we eat now.

I am going to make my own water kefir. I went to a whol foods/natural living presentation on it recently where water kefir was discussed. Hubby came with me too (surprised me!) and afterwards asked me if "are you planning on making that stagnant water?" :rofl: I said "yes!"


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

My main passions are flowers and music.

I'm currently taking a weekly Ikebana class. It's the Japanese art of flower arranging. I love that it's creative, challenges me, and is meditative at the same time. The form relies on awareness of angles, specific placement, and asymmetry, but in a way that creates a natural flow. The class is with a Japanese master and a small group of students of various ages and levels. We enjoy green tea together and at the end of class we share our creations. Whether Ikebana is for me in the long run is yet to be seen but I like having different experiences and love working with flowers.

I really enjoy Tai Chai as well. Again, it's good for calming and connecting oneself. It's another form that relies upon focus, specific movements, and flow. 

I am teaching myself guitar. 

Recently with hubby's encouragement, I've been considering getting involved with local radio again, maybe just to help out instead of hosting though (I was a DJ for years).

I've found book clubs to be great. It helps discipline me with reading, broadens my horizons of what to read, and is interesting to hear other people's interpretations. This is how I came to read "Let the Right One In" (those in social spot movie thread with know the reference). It wouldn't have been a book I'd choose to read otherwise.

There's so much out there to experience. Try different things and see what 'speaks' to you.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> T
> Not to t/j..but which books in that genre do you like? I had a yogurt maker for a while but then I gave up on making my own plus my yogurt came out tangier than I like. Then hubby discovered full fat Greek yogurt at the store so that's what we eat now.


I have Sandor Katz's Wild Fermentation - love it. Nina Planck's Real Food isn't recipes but it's an awesome book, same with Michael Pollans Omnivores Dilemma and In Defense of Food. Full Moon Feast cookbook I love reading - haven't done a lot of the recipes but the ones I have are yummy. Eat Fat Lose Fat has some really tasty recipes in it too.

I used to make my own yogurt till I started drinking raw milk - it's a slightly different process with raw milk if you want to preserve the 'raw' part of the milk. Plus I found a yogurt at the store that is made from non homogenized milk and bacteria and nothing else, so I eat that now.

Let me know how the water kefir turns out!


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I don't do anything with "other ladies"... Ie, shopping dates with best friends...etc.

If I do anything "hobby' related for myself, I'd say it is gardening, cross stitch or going gambling. (if i'm in a reasonable mood. Never go if you are depressed about something). 

Mostly, I do facebook, or read romance novels. Great escape without going anywhere.


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## Inside_Looking_Out (Apr 8, 2012)

Belly Dance (its for any age and body size, and a great way to learn confidence and grace. I have been doing it for around 10 years now!)
Horseback riding
Cake Decorating
Jogging/Exercising (lost 45 lbs so far!)
Involved with the local arts community (classes, events, etc)
Involved with animal organizations
Volunteer at a local museum

Try to get out of the house and meet new people, blogging, photo editing, scrapbooking are great activities for around the house, but getting out of the house, meeting new people, being exposed to new ideas all make for fun new topics to talk about when you are spending time with your husband!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Inside_Looking_Out said:


> Try to get out of the house and meet new people, blogging, photo editing, scrapbooking are great activities for around the house, but getting out of the house, meeting new people, being exposed to new ideas all make for fun new topics to talk about when you are spending time with your husband!


Initially my thoughts agreed with the sentiment from 'Iminlovewithmyhubby' about being content doing what you do... but I read the thread in the Men's Clubhouse. I agree that having interests, our own interests can be a good thing for yourself and your relationship. However, I do wonder OP, if you think this yourself?

I know when we were being completely open with each other during our disconnect, my H did mention that he likes when I'm engaged with life, when I have my own interests. And this is how I was when we met and had been for years. With various things going on in our life, I'd let some things go and while I know it's good for me - I failed to realize that him observing me following my passions is attractive to him. Also I think it can broaden our perspective and puts less pressure on the few people we are close to, to meet all our needs. For example, while my husband takes interest when I talk about the history of Ikebana and what's involved and what the tools are called etc .....it's also beneficial to me to meet others who share that passion on the same level. Does that make sense?

Out of the two of us, my personality tends more to 'loner' yet I'm also the social butterfly. I don't quite know how that works either, but when I follow my hobbies and interests, they are by myself, not with friends. I enjoy meeting new people, observing, listening and also finding out more about myself in the process.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Playing a musical instrument, preferably one that is in a band...ballroom dance/Argentine tango...volunteering in an independent film theater...archery...rock climbing...ice climbing...bicycle tripping...kayaking/canoeing...hiking...going to cultural events...yoga...spiritual practice including Quaker meeting...going to book store events (held at the theater)...writing...educational pursuits (take adult ed astronomy, cooking, ornithology...)

And there is no shame in taking up an activity to meet someone.
You can also take stuff even if your're not interested in it. I did that with archery and ballroom dance but kind of liked that my ego wasn't involved in it. It makes it more enjoyable knowing I can take it or leave it. But please be prepared to stick with an activity if you do meet someone and it is really something that they are attached to. 

I realized I liked ballroom dance because of my guy being there :-o Shock of my life. But now I like it for another reason, because I became good at it, it passes the time with total focus and most times it is fun, I can wear a dress and make my dance partners happy by following their lead and it's a harmless pastime and it's human nature to dance. I don't take it seriously.  Some people do but that's not me. If I became attached to it I would stop going, just so it didn't become an addiction. In my opinion, an activity should not be addicting or your identity unless you are a professional at it, and a good part of that should be instructing or sharing your enjoyment. If it is addicting, you need to back off. So it's actually a good thing you are not really 'into' anything...you are free to explore...think of it as an experiment. I went to ballroom dance thinking I would hate it. But it intrigued me that there was this guy there taking it. I was more interested in why he was there than why I was there, I couldn't figure out why people liked it so much. In his case, it was chicks in dresses. Then it was me. Now I am dancing without him, it's just an active past-time, dance is dance. I dance to celebrate that I can dance, and because it's become second nature to me. But I could still switch it up and go different places to dance, it is not about social positioning or competition at the one dance studio, when I find that happening I disappear and go elsewhere. A good activity does not over-involve your ego! And if your ego is not too involved, you will be more receptive to meeting people in an honest way. You'll be yourself, rather than posing as someone who is 'really into' something. That's actually a good way to be.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Hiking -- cooking -- going to community festivals/live music events.


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