# I Think "She" Tried To Reconnect...



## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Back in december when I swore to my wife that I would abide by NC with her, I have kept my word. Not only did I block "her" from my FB page, but I deactivated my account.

Well from time to time I reactivate to grab a photo or something...but not without telling my wife I'm doing it, right? Well I also had a FB group dedicated to health and fitness and "she" was a member up until I stopped communicating with her (read "My Story" for all those gory details). She left my group and I left FB. I also blocked "her" from my linkedin account when she viewed my profile...this was back in January.

Fast forward to tonight when I reactivate my FB account to grab some info and I see in my FB health and fitness group that "she" has sent a request to join.

Needless to say, I clicked the "ignore" button faster than you could say "nu uh"

Yeah...My wife and I are doing just fine and we intend upon keeping it that way...thank you very much.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MountainRunner said:


> Back in december when I swore to my wife that I would abide by NC with her, I have kept my word. Not only did I block "her" from my FB page, but I deactivated my account.
> 
> Well from time to time I reactivate to grab a photo or something...but not without telling my wife I'm doing it, right? Well I also had a FB group dedicated to health and fitness and "she" was a member up until I stopped communicating with her (read "My Story" for all those gory details). She left my group and I left FB. I also blocked "her" from my linkedin account when she viewed my profile...this was back in January.
> 
> ...


Maybe leave or disband the group the next time that you reactivate the account.

Better yet, download the contents of your account and then permanently delete it.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

You need to keep hitting the ignore button my man. The second curiosity gets the best of you will be the second youve screwed yourself.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Maybe leave or disband the group the next time that you reactivate the account.
> 
> Better yet, download the contents of your account and then permanently delete it.


I tried disbanding the group, but didn't have any info on how to do so. It certainly isn't intuitive to close the group. I'd love to close the group actually...and I'll look into the download and permanent deletion Gus, thanks. I didn't want to do it because I have a ton of pics and links that I wanted to save. Thanks again...Thought I did pretty good at quickly sayin' "C-Ya" to her though, yeah?

I believe my efforts may be paying off.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

ThePheonix said:


> You need to keep hitting the ignore button my man. The second curiosity gets the best of you will be the second youve screwed yourself.


I am all too familiar with what you are saying my friend and I hear you. I am in a far better place both mentally and emotionally than I ever have been in my life. I like the path I'm on and I intend on keeping my feet on it.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MountainRunner said:


> I tried disbanding the group, but didn't have any info on how to do so. It certainly isn't intuitive to close the group. I'd love to close the group actually...and I'll look into the download and permanent deletion Gus, thanks. I didn't want to do it because I have a ton of pics and links that I wanted to save. Thanks again...Thought I did pretty good at quickly sayin' "C-Ya" to her though, yeah?
> 
> I believe my efforts may be paying off.


If you and Mrs. MR are both cool w/ that, then more power to you. That said, it's still a sort of half-measure.

Look at it like this -- you're either going to reactivate your account (and keep it active) at some point, or you're not. If you're not, then there's no point in having it at all. If you are, you need to make provision for the notion that OW (a) has _the *URL* to your profile_ (as opposed to simply your name, which you can change at any time) and (b) has every intention of continuing to reach out to you in some way or another, even if only passively or via intermediaries (initially, anyway). Blocking her will help to a point, but only until she creates another account.

So... given all this, if and when you choose to permanently reactivate your account, you're going to have to maintain a certain level of both awareness and vigilance in order to keep away not only OW but other temptations as well.

But hey... I suppose that's true either way, right?

Still, though... is hanging onto the account really worth all that in the big picture?


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Still, though... is hanging onto the account really worth all that in the big picture?


No it's not and that's why I said I'll look into that link you posted. If I can archive my pics and such and then just delete it...I'm there. Thanks again.


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

MountainRunner said:


> Thanks again...Thought I did pretty good at quickly sayin' "C-Ya" to her though, yeah?


You did good.



> I believe my efforts may be paying off.


Did you tell your wife? Keep her in the loop to show her where your loyalty lies.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Maybe leave or disband the group the next time that you reactivate the account.
> 
> Better yet, download the contents of your account and then permanently delete it.



Mountain Runner, 

I have a number of friends on FB that use fake names to stay under the radar of crazy relatives and exes. It is technically against FB rules, but don't enforce it and can't really tell anyway. If you delete your old account and recreate one, block her form that, you can still use it to stay connected with people you want to.


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## Vulcan2013 (Sep 25, 2013)

azteca1986 said:


> Did you tell your wife? Keep her in the loop to show her where your loyalty lies.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Chance to build trust - don't mess that up. May be disturbing to the W, but it will show where your heart is.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Vulcan2013 said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> Chance to build trust - don't mess that up. May be disturbing to the W, but it will show where your heart is.


I agree with the above MR^^^

Things like this have an odd way of coming up. If a month from now your W asks if the OW has tried to contact you recently, you will be kicking yourself if you don't just tell her now.

You are doing really well, keep it up.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Thanks everyone for the show of support, it is truly appreciated...and yes I did tell my wife. Full disclosure...no exceptions.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Stay strong MountainRunner.


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