# Have you ever gone to a sex worker?



## L.M.COYL (Nov 16, 2010)

I am wondering if those experiencing difficulty within their relationships due to sex have ever been with sex workers. The point I'm making is that there may very well be an unattainable ideal that's been reinforced by frequenting a sex worker who simply reflects their clients desires as opposed to the give and take of a monogamous relationship.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I haven't.... but I'd think unless you were honest with your partner, then it would have a negative impact on your "monogamy"...which would no longer be monogamy. And it might anyway, even if she initially agreed.


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## L.M.COYL (Nov 16, 2010)

Great point, SunnyT.

I also was considering if people had been with a sex worker prior to the relationship as well, to see if there is a connection between sexual dissatisfaction in marriage and the unrealistic fantasy indulgence that may be characterized by frequenting of sex workers and or pornography.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

never been to one and probably never will.

have used porn during the last several years of my marriage due to hardly no sex during that time.
no longer use it, i feel it is a problem especially in a relationship when the wife is willing to make her self available.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

never been to a sex worker, the thought of going to where hundreds or thousands of guys have stuck their johnsons is just repulsive, oooo yuck, and as for porn chicks they are just sperm toilets , who wants to see that,ooooo yuck


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## L.M.COYL (Nov 16, 2010)

nicky1 said:


> never been to a sex worker, the thought of going to where hundreds or thousands of guys have stuck their johnsons is just repulsive, oooo yuck, and as for porn chicks they are just sperm toilets , who wants to see that,ooooo yuck


Sperm toilets? Please, don't hold back, nicky1.
These are human beings you have described as sperm toilets and these human beings are evidently providing a service that many, many people find useful (indeed, indispensable if this forum is any measure!). Regardless, let's not diminish/insult someone else's dignity simply because we don't agree with their lifestyle/work/values. Just like them , you are a human being, too. Let's treat each other the way we would like to be treated. Enough of my moralizing!


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## SecondTimesTheCharm (Dec 30, 2011)

In my first marriage, I frequented...ummm, "sex workers", largely as a result of my first wife gaining an extraordinary amount of weight (100+ pounds, including 50+ within two years of being married), as well as too much disposable income, often cash that she had no idea about (and she seemed to often have cash I didn't know about and would spend it freely as she chose).

I don't think it has affected my ability to perform...but, yes, I do expect a build up during sex and have never ever liked to just "stick it in" with no foreplay/build-up. Instead, yes, I do enjoy receiving and giving oral sex first, touching, kissing, atmosphere (candlelight), lingerie. 

It is cold to me when there is sex but no atmosphere and not a lot of buildup and the only way that works for me is if I am on the receiving end of oral sex, but for me to get hard and stay hard until completion, I do need the whole 9 yards.

I have not frequented sex workers since the time I have met my wife, not even during the 19 months between leaving my first marriage and meeting my wife. During that time, I dated prolifically, had a couple shorter relationships, and was far more interested in dating real women than in seeing sex workers, although I did see a few sex workers (once every two months, maybe?) during those 19 months.

By my second wife taking pretty good care of her appearance and, for the most part, meeting my sexual needs, I have had no desire or need to seek out sex outside the marriage, except for a brief time in the beginning of the relationship when we experimented with other couples and individuals together (but never separately).


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## Wantsmore (Sep 13, 2011)

There is so much free sex to be had I really don't know why anyone would "need" a sex worker.

There are plenty of adult internet dating sites that have plenty of men and women who want nothing else but a NSA FWB arrangement. Why easier to find a booty call then to find a clean, sex worker.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

if they had dignity would they behave like they do? these are free will prostitutes i am speaking of, i never think of sex slaves as free willed , they are slaves and need far more global help than goverments are willing to do


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

There are no free will prostitutes,there are people who who in a lot of cases have no place else to turn so they use the one thing they have and that is their bodies,do you really think as little girls and boys they wanted to grow up to be sex workers. 

It funny when you see these religious types getting caught with a sex worker.

I think prostitution should be legal and controlled all over which would cut down on the violence they face and keep the workers healthy and its would be taxable income.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

yes it is funny, here in my country prostitution has been legal for about 7 years, and believe me they have their own free will, have you seen the upmarket models selling themselves, you cant tell me they are not free. they could get loads of guys for a meaningful relationship but choose not to. the whole point to this is a simple supply demand economic model, no supply and the demand will dryup, no demand and the supply will dry up, why do people need to satisfy their lust and degrade themselves


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

Can they find another line of work where they can do as well NO so of course the money is going to keep them into the profession,but do not even tell me they fell good inside about what they are doing,they tell people outside they are happy but inside they are in serious emotional pain.

prostitution will NEVER STOP it all over the worlds and has been with us since the beginning of time.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

yes you are right it will never stop, but surely there are enough social and family supports for their 'emotional pain' , so how about the multitudes of young women who dont charge but none the less go about and sleep with as many guys as they want to, do they feel good inside? feminists will say yes they do, i say they think they do, what do you say? everyone has emotional pain to some degree, it is just the reality of being human


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

Number one not everybody has support,there are millions around the world that do not,I am very fortunate to have a great family but I can not just look at my family as being the what everybody else has.

I believe that is a person, woman or man that wants to sleep with 1 person or 100 thousand can as long as nobody is getting hurt and they are of consenting age and they are protecting themselves.I don't believe in interfering in anybodies bedroom activites and I don't believe anybody else should.

If a person is have emotional issues and is expressing it with sex then of course they should be seeking counseling.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

i think we will have to agree to disagree.
from what i have seen in my life sex outside a stable committed relationship always has negative consequences, it is like a pond rippling through life after a stone has been throwen into it, i am not into governing peoples bedrooms but if they try to tell people that their behaviour is appropriate i will speak up.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

We will have to agree to disagree because,I truly do not believe it always has negative consequences,sometimes yes but not always.


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Hate burst your bubble here Nicky but once you speak up and impose your thoughts and morals upon another person, you're interfearing with that persons bedroom habits. And you are judging them. If you disagree with what that person is doing and offer advice to that peron, that's a different game but speaking out as such, is interfearing. 

People should be free to live their lives however they chose provided they don't hurt anybody.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

you obviously didnt read my words properly, i said IF someone speaks out that their lifestyle is acceptable i have the right to rebutt that claim be it homos, or loose women, define hurt, does this include the millions of unwanted children killed in the name of free choice, and i think you are a feminist liberal, am i wrong.


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Appolagies, you did too. A little word that hid in the bushes there. Of course, you allowed to state your opinion. I misunderstood.

A feminist??? Wow, thats the first time I have ever been called that one before.

Unwanted children!!!!! No idea what the hell you are talking about there....


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

unwanted children....they call it abortion....only the usa has a public debate about that issue, all other western countries just are too scared to got there, religion aside when you have a child killed and you dont even have a say in its fate you tend to look at things very black and white.


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Actually Nicky, we do have those debates here too and while there are arguements on both sides, it's a subject I'm not really comfortable talking about. 
Aside from that I'm a bit bewildered on how that popped into your head?


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

the previous member suggested that no one got hurt if 2 people engaged in casual sex willingly, i just offered that sometimes people do get hurt even if they are not yet born


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Then that's obviously that's not what I meant. If somebody is getting hurt. 

If a person wants to screw around, then that's their right. They make sure they take the proper precautions to ensure no one else gats hurt. Even if they are not born yet. But if they do become pregnant due to their actions, then they need to be responsible for that pregnancy. 

But if a person wants to screw around, hey, knock yourslf out. Go out and enjoy your life if thats what you want to do. Just don't involve thos who have no interest in that particular life style.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

ok so may i ask who gave or where did the assumption that its their right come from? is it my right to have sex with as many woman as i can, who gave me that right, i want to know where this idea came from


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

nicky1 said:


> the previous member suggested that no one got hurt if 2 people engaged in casual sex willingly, i just offered that sometimes people do get hurt even if they are not yet born


What does this have to do with casual sex and /or sex workers?

You are aware that a vast number of abortions are performed on married women yes?

The premises for your conclusions are misconstrued.

I had decades of casual sex with no lasting trauma caused for anyone.

Odd.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

i never said married women were given a mandate to kill their unborn, why should tax payers pay for it.
you are obviouly one of those 60s free love people, the next generation didnt even get an alternative from that behaiour to judge against


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

nicky1 said:


> i never said married women were given a mandate to kill their unborn, why should tax payers pay for it.


Not the topic.

You drew a direct causation between casual sex and abortion in order to put casual sex in a bad light.

If your "logic" is followed to it`s natural conclusion the fact that a large percentage of married women also get abortions is evidence that marital sex is a direct causation of abortion.

You need to think more about your fundamental dogma nicky.

It doesn`t add up in an unbiased mind



> you are obviouly one of those 60s free love people, the next generation didnt even get an alternative from that behaiour to judge against


I was two years old in the 60's nick.
Being so judgmental makes you look bad enough, being so judgmental about people and topics you have no knowledge of makes you look ...well...not so bright.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

thanks for the advice, but you are so busy nit picking that you cant see the big picture, not many can, you may call me not so bright but i call you not so wise


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

So what is the big picture?


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## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

The OP asked a perfectly simple question aimed at those in a marriage with sexual 'difficulties'....Have they ever been to a sex worker?
If you decide to answer the closed question, the two reply options are 1) Yes or 2) No

Nothing to do with abortion, morals etc. 

I have decided not to answer the question.


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## L.M.COYL (Nov 16, 2010)

I must say I resent how some have highjacked the topic in order to spout about tangential topics. Let's clarify: Sex workers are NOT sex "SLAVES". That is a terribly retrogressive comment that diminishes their humanity . . . and doesn't say much about your own, frankly. 

I want to know if people who have frequented sex workers have had difficulty in separating fantasy from the reality of married sex. Please do not use this poll as a platform to rant about things you fear or resent.


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