# Has anyones WW Spouse ever abandoned ALL Family ?



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Just a question if people had this happen. 

It just seems my STBXW has completely shut out ALL Her family and relatives. My understanding is relatives have tried to intervene but she has completely blown them off. 

She is not returning any calls to anyone from what I am being told.


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## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

She feels ashamed.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Yeah that's the hide from the world thing happening. Shame has hit home.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

My WW "avoided" the judgmental ones. She kept in constant contact with the ones who bought her stories and "had her back". 

And then there is her sister... WW, alcoholic, prescription drug addict. She really went off the deep end and became a habitual liar. The family more or less abandoned her and distanced, particularly after the divorce (but kept my xBIL as part of the family). *She's quite resentful of her family for judging her badly.* It's all part of that 'entitled' thing. "A family is supposed to support you!" Which apparently also means turning a blind eye and allowing her to steal from you. Even when she lost custody in the divorce court, it wasn't her fault... "the judge was biased because she was serving time for a 3rd DUI and was unemployed; Furthermore, her exBH called the cops on her and if he hadn't, she wouldn't be in this mess". Poor, poor her. :scratchhead:


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

jlc29316 said:


> She feels ashamed.


Was thinking the same. But you would think eventually she will have to talk to her mother and father and other relatives ? Unless she just plans on being done with all of them.

I mean at some point she will have to confront this. It just doesn't go away.


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## goshjosh (Mar 23, 2013)

Could be shame, but it could also be her trying to process what is happening. When I discovered the A, I was in shock and not very communicative with anyone. It took me a solid week to even think about telling someone. Took me another week to tell my family -- haven't even told all of them yet. I needed the time to process what was happening.

Everyone handles things differently. Not saying she isn't ashamed, but if has only been a few days, it might just be her way of dealing with the stress.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It's because she's ashamed and doesn't want anyone calling her on her crap.

I always know when certain family members and friends are up to no good--- they disappear.


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## carolinadreams (Nov 30, 2012)

My wife had to distance herself from her Brother and Mother after the affair.

When she was in full disclosure after the fog had lifted she revealed that her Brother and Mother had been undermining our relationship, since before the marriage, and even on our wedding day.

Her mother undercut her so much she didn't know up from down, and was mimicking some of their narcissistic traits. Once we started establishing some very clear boundaries, and she stopped dancing like a monkey for them, they more or less cut her off.

In her mother's own words if my wife didn't intuitively know exactly what the mother wanted, execute it 115% CHEERFULLY all while accepting criticism from her mother and brother - her brother told my wife "it's your job to be mom's niggarette" then she was a bad daughter and a bad person.

If anything I'm probably understating how bad it was. My wife unfortunately shielded me from most of it, and I didn't realize the extent of it till after she was broken.


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## lollypart (Mar 31, 2013)

Hi,

I am in the same boat. My STBXH has cut off contact with his family now the affair is out in the open. I just believe that he is too loved up with his new girlfriend to care.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I'll take a different route is she good at compartmentalizing? I know if my wife passed I wouldn't talk to any of her family 1 because we are just vastly different and 2 there are only like 9 of them anyway.

I have no family alive at all, so obviously that would be easy. I've said it once I'll say it again if you EXPOSE you might kill the affair you also might KILL the marriage.

Just divorce and move on!


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I am becoming closer to my WS's family and she is losing them one by one. Two older brothers and one older sister withing a week of this lastest exposure. Then 7 weeks later (last week) her middle sister. Then her neices. She is not talking to any of them. She has one last hold out, her millionaire younger brother and he is about ready to cut of ties. 

For them it is religious. Her two older brothers are pastors and her family are all basically the same in their views. My WS's behavior is so over the top and she is continuing to lie and cheat it is incredible. 

If she would have said to her younger brother that money is tight and I need to leave my abusive husband (me) he would have helped her even up till about last week. But no, she lied and said I cut her off from our joint account and she has no money. I had to send her family the bank statements showing that she is not cut off and is spending money like a mad woman and she was telling him that I was. I proved that I paid $3000.00 in bills during that period and showed them what she spent on herself and where she spent it.

Her younger brother could not believe that she lied to him.

Well younger BIL welcome to your sister's evil, twisted world.


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