# Married woman who have been envolved in Emotional Affairs



## DollbytheLake (Apr 21, 2013)

Would like to chat with other married woman who have been involved in "emotional Affairs" with a married man. Thank you.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Please stop having an affair. It never ends well.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

First off, it's not "emotional affairs". They are emotional affairs, they are very real, and very devastating. For some more devastating than a physical affair. That said... what is it you are wanting to talk about? As Faithful Wife said, stop cheating. That's really ALL that needs to be said... unless you are trying to extricate yourself from the affair partner and having trouble doing so. In that case, talk to your spouse and go NC with the AP. So, what else do you want to know?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I know the first two replies likely came across as condescending, but please, give a bit more information. How long did it last? How long ago did it come to light? HOW did it come to light? Who ended it? Is there still contact with AP?


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## DollbytheLake (Apr 21, 2013)

oh...i was the one who "ended" it first....because my husband was suspicious....then our contact lestened....then my husband confronted me again, and I confessed the whole thing....i shared this problem with a mutual friend, whcih I think caused him to confess to his wife....


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

DollbytheLake said:


> oh...i was the one who "ended" it first....because my husband was suspicious....*then our contact lestened*....then my husband confronted me again, and I confessed the whole thing....i shared this problem with a mutual friend, whcih I think caused him to confess to his wife....


And I am guessing you are still in some kind of contact, yes? If so, then it's not really even over. It won't be over, or even truly ATTEMPTING to be over/moving on, until you are in complete NC. Lessened contact =/= no contact. You MUST completely break ties to this man in order to move on.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Personally never had an EA or PA but my sister had a very involved EA with someone online.It wrecked her.Even after they stopped communicating I could see she was in terrible emotional shape.

Maricha is 100% correct. You have to completely leave this man behind.NO CONTACT.


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## relationshipsguide_gal (Apr 6, 2013)

An affair is an affair, regardless if it's emotional or physical. Please think about it, isn't it just unfair to your husband? The more you have ties with another man, the more you will lose ties with your husband. Affairs are that damaging. Regards, mae


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Ok, just to clarify for others, Doll, I hope you don't mind my sharing something you said in a PM to me.

Ladies, she is starting IC. Her husband has forgiven her, and is willing to work through this together. But, as I said above, all the counseling in the world isn't going to do a thing as long as there is still ANY contact at all with OM. She knows it's devastating...and she's having trouble getting OM off her mind. I think this is exacerbated by the fact that (I believe?) they still work together. Even seeing him from a distance, at work, will keep the focus on the affair.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

She MUST go NC. If she works with him, she must find another job ASAP. She will not start withdrawal until full NC. Period.

High paying job? Oooops, does not matter. Life is about choices.


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## mesamamma (Apr 30, 2013)

I have and it was a huge mistake. I am still paying for it and probably will for a long time to come. There were several factors and while none excuse it, it happened and was easy for me to let go. My H inadvertently found a chat session that popped up and texted me on my way to a "toy " party. Well needless to say that ruined my mood for the evening and all of the goodies I was planning to purchase. I ended it with the OM right then and after a few attempts he finally got the message. I never even met this man IP. anyways, we made the decision to let it go and I thought everything was okay and then 2 months later the OMW texted my husband to try and "out" us. What she didn't realize is that we had already worked past that ( I thought) and then he got all upset again. Then she texted him again a few weeks later and told him we did meet when we really did not and told him we were still texting and I assured my husband I was not in contact since the original. The OM must have found a new text partner and he told her it was me IDK. my H finally told her to stop. I don't know what her H is doing. Now my H is always checking my phone, email and will probably freak out when he finds this site thinking I am having another EA. I feel for you and I hope that it works out better for you.


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## Single Malt (May 2, 2013)

DollbytheLake said:


> oh...i was the one who "ended" it first....because my husband was suspicious....then our contact lestened....then my husband confronted me again, and I confessed the whole thing....i shared this problem with a mutual friend, whcih I think caused him to confess to his wife....


So what are you going to do to make this up to your husband?


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

My question is..if you have a husband..why do you need a so called, "emotional affair"?

What is an "emotional affair" anyway? Is it just talking to a man online..talking dirty..without any feelings?

Please explain as I just really don't get it.

I don't mean to sound confused in any way..it's just that I'm married to a wonderful man and find no need for an emotional affair..it sounds like you're married also..so I guess my question is..what is YOUR need for an emotional affair? Does your husband not pay enough attention to you...does your sex life suck..does he treat you badly?

In my opinion..all of the above..except for the sexual part would be reason for divorce BEFORE an emotional affair even started.

My question is...how long does an emotional affair stay "emotional" before it becomes a sexual affair?

Clue me in here as I'm dumber than a box of rocks when it comes to things like this as I always believed that when you're happily married to someone..you don't need to be chatting online with men and having so called "emotional affairs"..and if you're unhappy in your marriage..get divorced and THEN start your emotional affairs or whatever you call them.

I'm sorry but this makes me angry. Many of us women complain when our men can't stay faithful. Infidelity is the number one reason for divorce these days as you don't even have to get dressed up to start something with the opposite sex..just jump online and call it an "emotional affair"

How would you like it if you caught you hubby online chatting with a women. You'd be plenty angry. What if he just said to you.."Oh..it's nothing..just an emotional affair sweetie.."

I truly believe that emotional affairs eventually turn into physical affairs. Correct me if I'm wrong...yet I have a really tough time thinking that two people can chat online for day and months and years on end..feel attracted to each other..and will never ever eventually meet and make it physical.

If anyone disagrees with me..I'm more than welcome to hear your comments.

Call me old school I guess.


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