# who do you dress up for



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Many men think women dress up to get their attention , but I see the difference in my wife when she has that extra good dress on,
her whole sprite lights up and she gets the feel good feeling from it , 
many men seem afraid to tell their wife have he finds sexy , it is my experience from my hubby that many men have a thing 
for women in tights/ and stockings 
other seem to love women that are showing everything 
but there are men that like the other styles , 

there is a lot of talk and posts here about the role of the wife in the bedroom but what about 
*THE ROLE OF A WIFE as a woman a role model to sons and daughters , 
I am not saying men don't have to make an effort also 

FEMINISM*
I see myself as a feminist , but where did the been a feminist idea to be a feminist you have to burn you bra and ware baggy jeans 
i have nothing against a woman going without her bra if that is what she is happy doing , I don't understand the obsession some have with nipples showing or the
VPL like it is not a bad thing if a womans panties show through her outfit , 

I encourage you to reevaluate where your beliefs about beauty and how you dress come from. In fact, I would say that the idea of dressing up for your husband _is _feminism in the true sense of the word..
some men here are saying the sex was better when dating but I ask Did your man like it when you put effort into your appearance when you were dating?
So why not keep it up, If something is important to your husband, then it should be important to you.

there are so many other things I WOULD LIKE TO SAY on what i think been a feminist is a while keeping your femininity but I wish to know what you think


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

frenchpaddy said:


> Many men think women dress up to get their attention , but I see the difference in my wife when she has that extra good dress on,
> her whole sprite lights up and she gets the feel good feeling from it ,
> many men seem afraid to tell their wife have he finds sexy , it is my experience from my hubby that many men have a thing
> for women in tights/ and stockings
> ...


I usually dress fairly modestly compared to todays standards. So no short skirts/shorts/dresses, no cleavage showing, no ultra tight clingy stuff. My lovely mum was the same, looked feminine but modest. Hubby finds modesty attractive in a woman. 
He is the only man I want to please or attract, so it's all good.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Your a Heminist. 🌸


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> I usually dress fairly modestly compared to todays standards. So no short skirts/shorts/dresses, no cleavage showing, no ultra tight clingy stuff. My lovely mum was the same, looked feminine but modest. Hubby finds modesty attractive in a woman.
> He is the only man I want to please or attract, so it's all good.


Modesty done right can be hot too 😉


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I dress up for myself first and for my husband second. Happily, my husband is usually pretty happy with what makes me happy. Both of us prefer classy and feminine to more overtly sexy, when it comes to clothing.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

I dress nice and shave for my wife on special occasions and she does the same for me. We enjoy doing that for eachother and looking nice for eachother. Feminism has nothing to do with it.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Your a Heminist. 🌸


 I had to goggle that ,lol 
YES I agree


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

I am very lucky that my wife is open minded much of the time , most of the time she is classic but she can and does experiment with other looks and turn something that is classic into sexy by making a few changes


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

So, we should evaluate our standards of beauty and conform them to yours?

Why do you care how someone else dresses?


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I’m a feminist. 

First off I am single, but I dress for myself. What makes me feel comfortable, i always look nice whether or not I am dressed the best or not. 

When I’m in a relationship, I know physical appearance is important, and j always want my partner to be sexually attracted to me so I always try to look nice. Nice in a way that I am comfortable with. Nice in a way that is still me. If my partner wants me to look a way that just isn’t me..:. Super long nails; tons of makeup, hair perfect; heels all the time etc… I won’t do it. It’s just not me. 

You can look nice without having to “dress to the nines” (or whatever that expression is). 

I’m physically fit. I keep my legs shaved and my toes painted. Sometimes I have manicures, sometimes I don’t. I always wear mascara and some blush. My hair may be up in a low bun, or down, curly or straight. My clothes fit nice. Sometimes I throw on a plain t-shirt with fitted jeans and flip flops. sometimes I dress up more. My point is, I never look dumpy. No, I won’t put full makeup on, and foundation, no I don’t always wear heels, no I won’t spend hours on my hair and makeup. No I won’t look like a completely different person after I’m done getting ready. IF that is what my man needs from me… then I am not his girl.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

I wear makeup, don’t own a tracksuit, make sure my hair is always blow dried and usually skirts and dresses. The lipstick goes on as soon as my teeth are brushed.

But I’ll wear jeans and neat casual and modest if say, visiting a friend when her husband is around. Or if there’ll be more men and my husband’s not there. There’s being you, and there’s being respectful to other people and having self-respect too. I do it for me and for my family, I want my kids to remember me happy and neat and my husband to be happy too.

I also have teen daughters, so will tone it way down when we are out together, I want them to shine in their youth, not me. 

My parents were utter slobs and it was humiliating. Maybe that’s superficial, but as a child I remember families making an effort and my mother and father wearing the same tracksuit pants all the time and then calling everyone else stuck up and posh 😒 We weren’t poor either. My mum never wore makeup, never dyed her hair, wore a dress to a wedding if she had to and my father was just as bad.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Girl_power said:


> I’m a feminist.
> 
> First off I am single, but I dress for myself. What makes me feel comfortable, i always look nice whether or not I am dressed the best or not.
> 
> ...


I love your response and wish you a good day


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

my mother worked very hard but no one ever saw her in her work she stayed out of prying eyes and dress us and her like the rich kids , she always know where and when to buy and bought quality and not followed the fashion trends of what color was in this year , she always got complements and she gave every last penny she had to her children to help them out , her mother had french blood married and she also had 5 children but her father died when the youngest was 2 was like a lady when out worked very hard even though she was blind know if it was good by the feel 
thank you of making me think about two women that i respect for the way they were not afraid to work but still could walk out dressed and never let them self down 


Luckylucky said:


> I wear makeup, don’t own a tracksuit, make sure my hair is always blow dried and usually skirts and dresses. The lipstick goes on as soon as my teeth are brushed.
> 
> But I’ll wear jeans and neat casual and modest if say, visiting a friend when her husband is around. Or if there’ll be more men and my husband’s not there. There’s being you, and there’s being respectful to other people and having self-respect too. I do it for me and for my family, I want my kids to remember me happy and neat and my husband to be happy too.
> 
> ...


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I don't dress to impress my husband. I dress depending on the situation, or depending on the mood I'm in before getting dressed. 

I mostly wear trousers at work. They have to fit me nicely, no baggy pants for me. I pair them with nice tops or sweaters during winter. 

I have to wear fitted jeans. I don't like baggy jeans. I live in a beach town but I don't like to wear very short shorts or skirts. I love knee high dresses. I don't wear tank tops because I know I'm going to freeze when I enter a building. You'll never see me wearing a t-shirt, I think they look hideous on women. 

My husband likes how I dress. He buys me clothes and he knows my style. 

I don't wear much makeup. I don't dye my hair. I don't use nail polish. 

I'm simple. I have my own personal style.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

frenchpaddy said:


> Many men think women dress up to get their attention , but I see the difference in my wife when she has that extra good dress on,
> her whole sprite lights up and she gets the feel good feeling  from it ,
> many men seem afraid to tell their wife have he finds sexy , it is my experience from my hubby that many men have a thing
> for women in tights/ and stockings
> ...


Women should dress however they want for themselves or for an occasion or for their husband or whatever, as long as it is their own decision. 

The best I can tell the frumpiness in recent generations doesn't have to do with feminism so much as friendship parenting instead of real parenting teaching someone that it's nice to look good on occasion.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Who do men dress up for?


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Livvie said:


> Who do men dress up for?


Though I can't answer for every man, I like to look nice for my wife. I'm one of those guys who doesn't like looking like a slob and tend to dress well most of the time, but I put extra effort in when it comes to her on our date nights.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

from the responses above why do courts judge a woman and her style when involved in a rape case , 
I think it is wrong , 
if women both bi and lesbian women don't rape a woman with a short skirt on or no skirt on if you can't keep your hands off someone because you have a short skirt on the problem is not with her but with you


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

frenchpaddy said:


> from the responses above why do courts judge a woman and her style when involved in a rape case ,
> I think it is wrong ,
> if women both bi and lesbian women don't rape a woman with a short skirt on or no skirt on if you can't keep your hands off someone because you have a short skirt on the problem is not with her but with you


I dont know that courts do, a jury might...a DA might...because if it goes to trial will theybe able to get conviction w/o DNA from a jury of 12 that may have a juror that is older and conservative or has issues with women who dress provocatively in public. 

Kind of like a person swimming in the Atlantic and they are flailing about and a shark attacks them. They are upset they were the one attacked, but they drew attention to themselves and made themselves a target by their actions. Or in the instance of your discussion, their provocative dress caught the attention of the rapist.

Sad but true the rapist lacks impulse control. Like a dog that bites, draw his attention to you and you may get bit. I have been a parole officer for 23 yrs and supervise rapist, child molesters, murderers and any others that are on GPS ankle monitors. I have sat in their therapy groups, read all their offense information. Parents and women in particular YOU HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE HOW MANY SEX OFFENDERS YOU INTERACT WITH DAILY. Women still leave their homes looking like they are going to work a street corner or allow their daughters to leave the house dressed in clotging that paints a big freaking bullseye on them. I wont even go into those hoochie momma leggings the girls are wearing now a days that leave very little to the imagination.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

It doesn’t matter what you wear. Rapist don’t care what you wear. They choose to attack someone because they leave themselves vulnerable… not because Of how they dress. If a women is by themselves, or drunk, and they are smaller/weaker than the rapist… these are prime women to attack. Especially if they are young. 

Young people all make bad decisions, it’s part of their youth. For a girl, it could be deadly. So a young girl coming out of a bar or club drunk and alone… this is a prime target for a Rapist. It doesn’t matter what she is wearing. 

Clothes have nothing to do with anything. Defense attorneys just use to against them to try to chip away at the victims character, to try to win the jury over. It’s disgusting, but it works sometimes.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Girl_power said:


> It doesn’t matter what you wear. Rapist don’t care what you wear. They choose to attack someone because they leave themselves vulnerable… not because Of how they dress. If a women is by themselves, or drunk, and they are smaller/weaker than the rapist… these are prime women to attack. Especially if they are young.
> 
> Young people all make bad decisions, it’s part of their youth. For a girl, it could be deadly. So a young girl coming out of a bar or club drunk and alone… this is a prime target for a Rapist. It doesn’t matter what she is wearing.
> 
> Clothes have nothing to do with anything. Defense attorneys just use to against them to try to chip away at the victims character, to try to win the jury over. It’s disgusting, but it works sometimes.


The clothing choice draws the attention of the rapist. Dress in a provocative way and it will attract sexual attention, plain and simple. Dress in manner that says "look at me"..you will have decent men, as well as, the wolves looking at you.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

frenchpaddy said:


> I see the difference in my wife when she has that extra good dress on,





frenchpaddy said:


> it is my experience from my hubby that many men have a thing


When you copy and paste from a source, it would be helpful if you cited the source.

Or, do you really have a wife and a husband (it isn't unheard of)?


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## LeahTaylor (Jun 29, 2021)

I totally agree with you. However, the fact that a woman who wears a mini skirt has a more significant risk of being raped than wearing 3 layers of clothes is totally a myth. Many studies are showing that the rapist can't even remember what their victim was wearing.
It's unfortunate that even nowadays, women are scared to wear the clothes that they like. A woman should feel comfortable in the clothes she chooses. She should be free to wear whatever she wants. If she wants to wear a transparent blouse so everybody can see her new bra, he should not be afraid to do that. And speaking about bras, recently I found some fantastic models on Home Page - Estrella Intima | Bottoms, Tops, Bras, Harness, Sleep & Lounge, Nudes, Undies, Bodysuits.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

LeahTaylor said:


> I totally agree with you. However, the fact that a woman who wears a mini skirt has a more significant risk of being raped than wearing 3 layers of clothes is totally a myth


 true my wife was raped and she had jeans top and long winter coat , and what is more she was 6 ft tall and she was very strong , she ended up hurting him and made him drive her to a safe place , she described the whole event and it is only then you can understand what fear can do to you


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## NTA (Mar 28, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Modesty done right can be hot too 😉


Give us some tips.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

what I have learned is we all speak the same words , like Modesty, class, classic ,chic, sexy, slutty, vulgar, but it does not mean the same thing for everyone 
what I can think is sexy another can think is classic and you might even get someone that would call it vulgar , 
I have all ways found it strange the way people are influenced by big names in the fashion industry 
something that is down right silly and see the amount of people saying it is the in style but it never takes off 
if it was so good it would sell , 
and the same fashion leaders/designers stay in the one style all their life while bringing out new styles ever few months ,
most of which are just through backs to earlier years like the 80 s or 70s 
high rise low rise boot cut they have all been around come in stay a while and then get put aside for a few years 
not to talk of the people that talk about the color and patron of bedding this year , i know some that dump their bedding because this year bright color is IN 
and new styles in swim suits when if fact there is little or no real change


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## MILF's Man (Jul 3, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Who do men dress up for?


I dress up for myself as well as my wife. She likes having a dapper gentleman on escorting her on a date.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

All this reminds me of this sketch:


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Livvie said:


> Who do men dress up for?


Generally anywhere with a dress code: yacht club, cruise evening dinners, restaurants with a jacket/tie requirement, event with specified code usually jackets but can be tuxedo depending, funerals depending on the type, weddings depending on the type, any nice meal where I think my father will wear a suit I will also wear a suit.

In my business meeting people for M&A activities or as a company representative I can get by with khakis and a polo shirt or a button down style shirt and reasonable leather shoes. Depending on the type of meeting though I will even show up in track pants and a Slayer shirt and just wear a company jacket over it.

For people? My wife doesn’t like dressing up in general so I try and avoid the above situations when possible. I guess for my father because he is very traditional and wants suits for specific things so if we go together and I suspect suit I will wear one just because I know he likes it.

Most recent one was going wine tasting with another couple and they do like to dress. My friend said he was wearing a blazer so I brought one and a couple nice shirts but no tie. We were the best dressed people we saw that day.


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## aaarghdub (Jul 15, 2017)

My wife doesn’t dress for me unless it’s like a date or something which is rare but for the most part she dresses based on the scenario and what her friends would or are wearing.

On time, I encouraged her to buy of heels which she did but never wore them. Fast forward to a big couples night out and I said you should wear heels which was met with a scoff. I told her, for me, heels show confidence (yes I get they’re uncomfortable). We left the house, her friend texts and says the girls should all wear heels. Sure enough, she made me turn the truck around and grab them. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

I can't be the only one here that when out I like to get her something sexy to ware when I am out , judging by the times I go into ladies shops there is all ways other men there buying things and I don't think it is for them self they are buying ,
I was once asked by a friend to go with him to help buy a gift for his gf , which I did , and we are still friends


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> I can't be the only one here that when out I like to get her something sexy to ware when I am out , judging by the times I go into ladies shops there is all ways other men there buying things and I don't think it is for them self they are buying ,
> I was once asked by a friend to go with him to help buy a gift for his gf , which I did , and we are still friends


You're not 👍.

I've always liked W to dress hotly when we go out. 
Even to the point of causing unrest, as we were in dance clubs. In our twenties especially.


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## MEA (Jul 12, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> from the responses above why do courts judge a woman and her style when involved in a rape case ,
> I think it is wrong ,
> if women both bi and lesbian women don't rape a woman with a short skirt on or no skirt on if you can't keep your hands off someone because you have a short skirt on the problem is not with her but with you


I was just reading an article yesterday about rape victims being blamed or accused of “asking for it” in society and in court.
There is a long, long global history of men blaming women after victimizing them. It’s projection, deflection, entitlement, etc.
It’s the equivalent of an obese person blaming the cookies and cakes.
Some men will even say that if the woman didn’t flaunt it, he would be able to control himself better. Hogwash.
Self control is only demonstrated in the face of temptation.
Women should be able to wear whatever they want without society blaming them for the actions of men.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

MEA said:


> Women should be able to wear whatever they want without society blaming them for the actions of men


This is the type of mentality that most of all us strive for, but please, please, people let's be realistic. What are asking for the moon when we can only get there and come back right away.

Truth is mankind and specially men have not evolved enough to be able to effectively control those urges that are frowned upon in any given society. We want to think of ourselves as a civilized, gentle loving species, but in reality we are still the greatest predator that ever existed in the face of this earth. In any given society men and women belong to the average of the curve as far behavior is concerned. Still we do have people below on both extremes of the curve in behavior. So, at any given moment a guy for example that has sociopathic tendencies can act on those impulses in a wink of an eye and attack and rape a woman or man. It is common sense, that if you go to the zoo you do not get inside of the tiger's cage.

Now, regardless of what we all think or want things to be, a woman the dresses up in provocative and revealing clothings, and gets out of her safe environment where no one is going to say or do anything, and ends out in a difference environment she is basically exposing herself to be randomly attack by a man that the moment he saw her in those clothings he thinks he has the right to get her because ""she's asking for it". You may like or not what I'm saying, but please, understand that that's exactly how it is. That's reality, not "make believe".

In this world too many people are still savages that don't care one bit about controlling their behavior, their wants, their needs. Their just do, whether we like or not, whether we think that society needs to do something about it more. Well, society does as much as it can as time passes by, but it's unrealistic to think that we all will behave like an programmed machine. Machines have no hormones to impact their behavior.

And ultimately, yes at this point in our existence as a species on earth, there are and still there will be for sometime to come people in society that will blame a woman or man for what some men did to them.


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## MEA (Jul 12, 2021)

Rob_1 said:


> This is the type of mentality that most of all us strive for, but please, please, people let's be realistic. What are asking for the moon when we can only get there and come back right away.
> 
> Truth is mankind and specially men have not evolved enough to be able to effectively control those urges that are frowned upon in any given society. We want to think of ourselves as a civilized, gentle loving species, but in reality we are still the greatest predator that ever existed in the face of this earth. In any given society men and women belong to the average of the curve as far behavior is concerned. Still we do have people below on both extremes of the curve in behavior. So, at any given moment a guy for example that has sociopathic tendencies can act on those impulses in a wink of an eye and attack and rape a woman or man. It is common sense, that if you go to the zoo you do not get inside of the tiger's cage.
> 
> ...


You’re absolutely right on every point. I don’t disagree.
Society does actually teach men and women to blame women though for the actions of men. For example, in the UK, instead of teaching boys not to rape girls, girls are taught what to do or say or not do or say to avoid rape - this putting the onus of rape on the female.
You’re right that it will take many more years than you or I will live in order for this to change, but it is thankfully, very slowly and painfully changing.

I saw a hilarious video that summarizes the “she was asking for it mentality” with both humor and sadly, accuracy.

Three women overheard a man say “she was asking for it” regarding a news article on rape.
So they decided that if dressing a certain way implies “asking for it” and in turn “getting it,” the three women proceeded to dress for what they wanted. The funniest of the three (and most comparable to the “she was asking for it” rape argument) was the woman who wore a power suit and heels, walked into the executive boardroom of a company for whom she didn’t even work, and demanded a VP position, because based on how she was dressed and her current location, she “was asking for it.” Haha.
This makes exactly as much sense as the rape version of “she was asking for it.”
Sometimes humor can convey a message better than anything.

Ultimately, as a society, we do need to examine why we tend to want to blame victims and go easy on perps. If women committed the majority of crimes and rapes, do you think we would be accusing the male victims of “asking for it?”


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

it is no different to the way people judge others by their look , 

the young guys that attack a man for been dressed in what we would call woman's outfit 

we get judged unfairly often 
I have a man that lives near me and I was shocked when we walked up the road one day 
and a woman said hello to the other man and then went on to say he was like a jihadists because he had not shaved a few days 
the man did not like her remark 

people seem to think they have the right to pass remark on just about anything with regard to the persons feelings


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

MEA said:


> You’re absolutely right on every point. I don’t disagree.
> Society does actually teach men and women to blame women though for the actions of men. For example, in the UK, instead of teaching boys not to rape girls, girls are taught what to do or say or not do or say to avoid rape - this putting the onus of rape on the female.
> You’re right that it will take many more years than you or I will live in order for this to change, but it is thankfully, very slowly and painfully changing.
> 
> ...


 yes the "she was asking for it " 
and said in a way like they were in the right to teach her a lesson, 

but I am a member of many photographer group on facebook and some men will post a photo of a woman in total see through dress with no bra 
then you get a range of remarks from the one from the dreamer that will say " I would give her one " to the guy that could say she was dressed class or elegant , 
so you get the two extremes on the same photo 

we get it even on here when not long ago there was some debate about some woman that shave their head 
and some posters said they would leave their wife if she ever did the same 
ignoring the people that have often done the to show solidarity with a person with cancer 

or the guy that wants to grow his finger nails and his gf was against it but now has stopped relations with him over it many will think the guy is gay ,


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## evelyco (Nov 10, 2021)

It used to take me hours to choose what to wear, and I felt very uncomfortable afterward because I realized that I wasn't dressing appropriately. But after much searching, I found this site Outfits for women ᐅ ideas and inspiration for you! where I started to choose my outfits and buy them, so now I only need 10 minutes to decide what I also need to be able to dress. And I can say that I feel super confident now in myself, which makes me proud that I grew up at such a level. Now I can say that I am a real feminist.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Luckylucky said:


> I wear makeup, don’t own a tracksuit, make sure my hair is always blow dried and usually skirts and dresses. The lipstick goes on as soon as my teeth are brushed.
> 
> But I’ll wear jeans and neat casual and modest if say, visiting a friend when her husband is around. Or if there’ll be more men and my husband’s not there. There’s being you, and there’s being respectful to other people and having self-respect too. I do it for me and for my family, I want my kids to remember me happy and neat and my husband to be happy too.
> 
> ...


There is nothing wrong with not wearing makeup or not dying hair. A woman can look good with out having to conform to the ideals and current norms of society.


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