# New Here...In need of advice



## not4me (May 13, 2013)

Hello y'all,

I am brand new here. I am newly married (second marriage, first one lasted 16 years). New husband and I get along very well and whatnot but I do still have some serious anguish over the previous marriage. Here lately, I have been having a really hard time being able to have an orgasm and it takes forever. I had cancer 6 years ago and a hysterectomy and an oopherectomy 4 years later. I am on HRT; I do not lack a libido or desire but the issues of my being able to complete is causing some issues in our relationship. My husband is younger than I am by quite a bit and I am more experienced in life in general but he is patient, loving, and generally wonderful...I can see this is bothering him AND it is bothering me A LOT. We have been exploring the use of some other things in our love making but I am running out of ideas, help???


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Have you talked to a sex therapist? There maybe a mental block that you need to work thru.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You go warrior chick!

Assuming up until lately, everything was in perfect working order in the sex dept....
I think the cancer, missing ovaries, HRT might be a red herring. If your libido is working, yet your responses are being tamped down, there is a chemical problem neurologically. Your brain isn't accepting, secreting, recognizing the hormones that flood the lymphatic system otherwise known as an orgasm.

Did you have chemo or radiation? Have you had your thyroid checked lately? Have you had your HRT adjusted lately?

I suggest PCP appointment and if that's a dead end go see an endocrinologist.


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## not4me (May 13, 2013)

I have issues in my extreme past but for the most part that rarely is an issue if you can understand my meaning. For me, the taking of mu uterus made sex feel differently. Sometimes it hurts even when he is as gentle as can be. What I am talking about is physical crap leftover from cancer/tons of surgeries. We have bought a couples vibrator that feels really good but trying to get me to complete with it is difficult.


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## not4me (May 13, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> You go warrior chick!
> 
> Assuming up until lately, everything was in perfect working order in the sex dept....
> I think the cancer, missing ovaries, HRT might be a red herring. If your libido is working, yet your responses are being tamped down, there is a chemical problem neurologically. Your brain isn't accepting, secreting, recognizing the hormones that flood the lymphatic system otherwise known as an orgasm.
> ...


actually sometimes I have muscles contractions, and he swears he feels me come. I look at him and think, huh????


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## not4me (May 13, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> You go warrior chick!
> 
> Assuming up until lately, everything was in perfect working order in the sex dept....
> I think the cancer, missing ovaries, HRT might be a red herring. If your libido is working, yet your responses are being tamped down, there is a chemical problem neurologically. Your brain isn't accepting, secreting, recognizing the hormones that flood the lymphatic system otherwise known as an orgasm.
> ...


Actually I need a full work up since moving to Europe. I moved here last summer and waiting for paperwork to go through for me to be fully covered by insurance. I have not seen my GYN since before I left the States last summer.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

How long ago did you have your uterus removed and how long after did you notice difficulty climaxing? Uterine contraction accompany a climax, so some women experience a climax differently after a hysterectomy. the Gspot climax is one that is typically felt with strong uterus involvement. The clitoral climax can go either way. but then again, some women don't experience anything different after hysterectomy... We're complicated creatures aren't we?

Yeah, get that work up done...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

not4me said:


> I have issues in my extreme past but for the most part that rarely is an issue if you can understand my meaning. For me, the taking of mu uterus made sex feel differently. Sometimes it hurts even when he is as gentle as can be. What I am talking about is physical crap leftover from cancer/tons of surgeries. We have bought a couples vibrator that feels really good but trying to get me to complete with it is difficult.


What did they do about your cervix? Is it still there? Is that playing a role in pain during intercourse?

Then you have the issue of tensing due to expected pain. Once you get your work up done, please post back. I'm very curious about what is going on and I think it has more to do with a physiological issue with maybe a little psychological on top...again we're complicated creatures!


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## not4me (May 13, 2013)

I certainly will! Thanks for responding. I do think some may be psychologoical but I am certain most is physiological. I am being blunt, when I see my husband I go bannanas. Normal couple in every other respect as in we fight sometimes but there is a great deal of passion between us. I am so freaking frustrated because of this because I can see how much he wants to please me. I actually think he is, and my brain is not registering it? Is that possible? I actually have signs of having orgasms but the sensastion is just so dulled. I have only a vaginal cuff, no cervix btw. I had the hysterectomy in 2007. I had serious complications in 2011 that required the oopherectomy, bowel ressection, appendectomy, removal of a blood clot. 2011 I had three surgeries...my previous marriage did not survive my cancer but I did!!! Long story short, I found my soul mate back home in Europe (Born here and raised for part of my life but America is also home). Anyway so there it is, quick version of the story


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