# Sex & Men in Affairs/Emotional Affairs



## pearl18 (Apr 3, 2010)

I am curious to hear from any MEN who have been in an affair or emotional affair (now or before) and how that affected your sex life with your spouse or significant other? Did it make you lose interest in sex w/your significant other or did you desire sex more? I have heard it can go either way. Thanks for any insight.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

pearl18 said:


> I am curious to hear from any MEN who have been in an affair or emotional affair (now or before) and how that affected your sex life with your spouse or significant other? Did it make you lose interest in sex w/your significant other or did you desire sex more? I have heard it can go either way. Thanks for any insight.


By many definitions given by posters here I've been in a EA for my my whole married life, so needless to say my opinion on what a EA is may be different than yours.

I love my life, marriage, family, friends, but I will always think about and quasi-communicate with my "first love". We don't flirt, we don't send pics, it's "Oh, great pic of your kids" "Oh, your wife looks so pretty how has she been" since they know each other. That's as far as it goes we are both very happily married, but we also have a very crazy history together. We don't talk on the phone or even exchange numbers no reason for that just a Facebook message from time to time....and no chatting either...beyond a "What ya doin?"

To many this is a EA to me it's not because I've always thought about her and believe 100% you can care for someone without it getting all "wierd" and it affecting your marriage. By defiinition it is because if my wife found out I ever talked to her it would be WW3.

Whatever you call that my interest is as high now as ever!! I always tell my wife the day I stop trying "EVERYDAY" the day you have something to worry about.

Good luck in whatever your going through.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I'm not in the demographic you are looking for - my wife has a at least two EAs in the last year. My experience was that her sex drive increased. As I understand it, she was getting an exciting ego boost from the attention she got from these guys.


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## Sweet Ginger (Mar 25, 2013)

Pearl, I am not a man, but my husband and I are struggling with an EA that was recently discovered by myself. I can tell you that before I caught him he was not that interested in a sex life with me. But after being caught he acts like he can not get enough. Hope this helps. A good book for me right now is "Not Just Friends", by Shirley Glass.


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## BackOnTrack (Oct 25, 2011)

pearl18 said:


> I am curious to hear from any MEN who have been in an affair or emotional affair (now or before) and how that affected your sex life with your spouse or significant other? Did it make you lose interest in sex w/your significant other or did you desire sex more? I have heard it can go either way. Thanks for any insight.


I withdrew from my wife and stopped initiating. Sex and intimacy were part of the problem (i'm HD/ she's LD)that gave me the desire to have the A. But my wife knew how important it was to me, so would occasionaly initiate. I was fully devoted to the OW and was not interested in sex with my wife, but went along with it to keep her from suspecting anything. 

I actually felt bad for having sex with my wife as if I was being unfaithful to OW. Talk about delusional...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Prior to my affair, my wife and I were on her "once a month or 6 weeks" schedule. But we never had sex after I had my affair; I stopped attempting to initiate prior to my affair, and she never would initiate anyway. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Dammit! 3 year old zombie thread! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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