# Can only orgasm in one position



## bilbo99 (Feb 16, 2011)

Well hello everyone. I have been primarily lurking because I haven't had much to add but have a question now, for the ladies or guys who have worked through this.

My wife only O's with her legs together and straight out. We think it's from years of going solo before we met but anyway...we'd really like her to be able to climax during penetration or at least with one of us going with our fingers during penetration but so far practice hasn't yielded any success. She says it feels great but she just can't get over the edge with her legs spread to accept me. She can't do it in 69 either.

Any advice?


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

I was like that for awhile actually and then I looked at a Kama sutra to be honest. For me what has been working decently well is having my legs in the frog type position and my husband uses his fingers.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

I've been through this with a girlfriend and my STBXW. As they say "your brain is your biggest sex organ" and that is the answer here. Its all about how someone has been conditioned and being able to unlock that and learn new patterns. Not an easy task but working on it is better then a lot of other jobs I can think of!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

With her legs straight and together, your pelvis is stimulating her clitoris, so she is not actually orgasming from penetration, but from clitoral stimulation.

You can directly stimulate her clit with any body part you wish to use, but since it will be a difference position, it may take her a while get over that hump and get there.

Try using direct stimulation and ask her for feed back. There, here, harder, faster, softer...? Not too much Q&A or it will likely kill the mood for her cause she'll not be able to focus on feeling as she tries to articulate a response.

Also, if she masturbates to orgasm, or close to orgasm, ask to watch her, though a lot of women have trouble with an audience so be prepared to smoothly talk her into it. Once you've seen what she does, you'll have a better idea of where to focus.

Once you know exactly how to bring her off manually, whatever position you are in, reach in and hit that spot, if the position allows for the reach. You could try bunching up pillows under her pelvis so your action bumps her clit into the balled up pillows, for doggy style. Or you could instruct her to touch herself instead.

PIV orgasms happen when the G-spot is stimulated. Google it for more instruction on finding that magic area!

You have LOTS of homework to do! Get to it!


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

bilbo99 said:


> Well hello everyone. I have been primarily lurking because I haven't had much to add but have a question now, for the ladies or guys who have worked through this.
> 
> My wife only O's with her legs together and straight out. We think it's from years of going solo before we met but anyway...we'd really like her to be able to climax during penetration or at least with one of us going with our fingers during penetration but so far practice hasn't yielded any success. She says it feels great but she just can't get over the edge with her legs spread to accept me. She can't do it in 69 either.
> 
> Any advice?


I find orgasming quickest and easiest on my back with my legs together, but I love it when my H forces me to keep my legs apart while he makes me come. Usually it takes longer, but it feel incredible. He just takes his time with his fingers or with oral, and it really, really helps things along when he touches my nipples or uses a finger on my g-spot. He seems to love to have his face *right there* while I orgasm; and he can't do that with my legs clamped shut. He's been able to make me orgasm with my clitoris and my g-spot simultaneously this way and it is the most.intense.pleasure.ever. 

Can your wife orgasm when you give her oral? Try putting one finger inside her (not very far) and stroking her g-spot while you stimulate her clit. You could also use a vibrator around the opening to her vagina instead of your fingers. 

Orgasming clitorally during PIV is challenging for me. Usually I can only have a g-spot orgasm that way. A few times we've managed to manually stimulate my clitoris while he's inside me until I orgasm, but it sort of throws off the rhythm of intercourse and I'm not crazy about that.

I'd say practice, practice, practice. Maybe start by letting her get close to orgasm with her legs together on her back, and them move them apart slightly and try having her finish that way. You could put your knee between her thighs and let her squeeze while she orgasms if she still needs that sensation. Slowly practice having her orgasm with her legs further apart each time. Does she enjoy having her nipples stroked or sucked? If so, do that while you stimulate her clitoris and see if it helps her orgasm while her legs are slightly parted. 

You could also try the spooning position for PIV sex, and put one hand over her hip and between her legs to stimulate her clitoris at the same time. That way she can have her legs together, but she'll by lying on her side. We've had some luck with than position for me clitorally orgasming while he's inside me. We've also had luck with me standing bent over with my hands on the bed and my legs together while he enters from behind and rubs my clit while he thrusts. Sometimes it's easier for me to orgasm this way if he is NOT thrusting, but just keeping his penis still inside me until I'm really close to coming, then he starts up the thrusts once I'm over the edge. You could also try lying on your back while she straddles you for sex while she (or you) stimulates her clitoris. Her legs will be apart for this, though, so it might take more practice and patience to do it this way.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> With her legs straight and together, your pelvis is stimulating her clitoris, so she is not actually orgasming from penetration, but from clitoral stimulation.
> 
> You can directly stimulate her clit with any body part you wish to use, but since it will be a difference position, it may take her a while get over that hump and get there.
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## bilbo99 (Feb 16, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> With her legs straight and together, your pelvis is stimulating her clitoris, so she is not actually orgasming from penetration, but from clitoral stimulation.
> 
> You can directly stimulate her clit with any body part you wish to use, but since it will be a difference position, it may take her a while get over that hump and get there.
> 
> ...


I may not have explained this correctly. I can't have PIV when her legs are closed, it's just not possible. The only way she O's is if I manually stimulate but I can't be in her at the same time because of the legs. I know exactly what gets her off, and that's the problem, it's only with her legs closed. She manually stimulates herself when I am penetrating and can't get over the edge on her own without clamping her legs closed (which means I come out).


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bilbo99 said:


> I may not have explained this correctly. I can't have PIV when her legs are closed, it's just not possible. The only way she O's is if I manually stimulate but I can't be in her at the same time because of the legs. I know exactly what gets her off, and that's the problem, it's only with her legs closed. She manually stimulates herself when I am penetrating and can't get over the edge on her own without clamping her legs closed (which means I come out).


OH, well that does change things a bit! Hmmm....

AWifey and Shoto have covered the "reconditioning" aspect of learning to orgasm in a new way. It does take time for us women to recondition ourselves to orgasm in new ways.

The first trick is to get her to agree to keep trying new things. The second trick is to get her so totally freaking aroused that she's ready to self destruct! 

This past weekend Mr Pink did something I love, but never actually want. He teased me for hours. I orgasm easily (though it wasn't always this way!) and can have many orgasms. But I really LOVE PIV to feel the complete release. He wouldn't give it to me. he kept saying "in while, I want to keep playing here." I frankly don't know how a man can do this because I would not be able to hold off. But the general idea is to get her aroused and keep her aroused for a long long time. It is during those times when the brain is fully engaged, the body is on high alert that new ways to orgasm can be discovered.

Having said all that, I would like to mention that simultaneous orgasms really aren't all that special. Don't get me wrong, they're nice, but have never been a particular goal as long as we both end up fully satisfied. I know some women think it's indicative of some special connection, but I guess having been married for so long it's not really a big deal.


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## Cre8ify (Feb 1, 2012)

Face down and penetrate her from behind. Once you're in she can straighten her legs. Not the time for deep stroking, so grind and use massage oil on her back and neck and reach around to stimulate her with your slippery fingers. As to her brain, nuzzle her and whisper to her about making her scream and how you will come with her.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> With her legs straight and together, your pelvis is stimulating her clitoris, so she is not actually orgasming from penetration, but from clitoral stimulation.
> 
> You can directly stimulate her clit with any body part you wish to use, but since it will be a difference position, it may take her a while get over that hump and get there.
> 
> ...


WOW AP do you have a PhD in Orgasm's


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## TheMarriageandFamilyClini (Mar 3, 2012)

Hmmmm, as a therapist I can't help but wonder if she has anxiety in other positions or not. Does she seem really into it when you're in other positions or is she just going along with it to be nice? Does she seem comfortable (not just physically but emotionally) in other positions? Does she accept you without restraint when you're trying to penetrate in other positions? If the answer is yes to any of these, she may have some underlying anxiety. Talk through it with her while you're doing it and ask her if she likes it, how she likes it, etc. this will help her feel more comfortable and relaxed which means she's more likely to orgasm.


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

PIV is absolutely possible with her legs straight and closed. Penetrate first, then have her straighten her legs one at a time while you shift around slightly. Then continue same as with legs apart PIV. She might like this. So might you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

anja said:


> PIV is absolutely possible with her legs straight and closed. Penetrate first, then have her straighten her legs one at a time while you shift around slightly. Then continue same as with legs apart PIV. She might like this. So might you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This. It gives direct clitoral stimulation the whole time, and if she normally tightens her legs like a vice, holy hot it feels good


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## bilbo99 (Feb 16, 2011)

TheMarriageandFamilyClini said:


> Hmmmm, as a therapist I can't help but wonder if she has anxiety in other positions or not. Does she seem really into it when you're in other positions or is she just going along with it to be nice? Does she seem comfortable (not just physically but emotionally) in other positions? Does she accept you without restraint when you're trying to penetrate in other positions? If the answer is yes to any of these, she may have some underlying anxiety. Talk through it with her while you're doing it and ask her if she likes it, how she likes it, etc. this will help her feel more comfortable and relaxed which means she's more likely to orgasm.


It's been a while since I've checked in but this resonates with me a little. For a several years after we were married we only had two positions, WOT and missionary. She was very hesitant of doing doggie. Now we are up to 3 positions and she does do doggie but I think it's because she knows I love it. It's difficult to approach branching out and broadening our horizons with positions, toys, etc. because she's very uncomfortable with it. I don't know what it means or what I can do really. I've always brought the topic up at good times and made her feel safe to discuss things. I don't believe there are any bad experiences in her past either.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Most women cannot orgasm from PIV along. If you are pushing her for this you are putting undue stress on her and it will only make it harder for her to orgasm.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

What works for my wifee and I, I give her oral and use the small vib on her at the same time. She orgasms and loves it. Then I have sex with her, and she goes wild. Her needs first, then mine after, if that's what she's in the mood for and not a quickie.

Her fav positions, her legs together, mine on the outside, I'm a few inch higher while in her so I hit her clit while PIV. She loves this. Also, doggie style with her legs tight together, mine on the outside, sometimes use the small vib at the same time and she loves this as well.

But sex is rare with her because she is LD.


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## KeepGoing (Aug 2, 2013)

Cre8ify said:


> Face down and penetrate her from behind. Once you're in she can straighten her legs. Not the time for deep stroking, so grind and use massage oil on her back and neck and reach around to stimulate her with your slippery fingers. As to her brain, nuzzle her and whisper to her about making her scream and how you will come with her.


Can I just say that this sounds amazing?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

bilbo99 said:


> Well hello everyone. I have been primarily lurking because I haven't had much to add but have a question now, for the ladies or guys who have worked through this.
> 
> My wife only O's with her legs together and straight out. We think it's from years of going solo before we met but anyway...we'd really like her to be able to climax during penetration or at least with one of us going with our fingers during penetration but so far practice hasn't yielded any success. She says it feels great but she just can't get over the edge with her legs spread to accept me. She can't do it in 69 either.
> 
> Any advice?


First, some women are wired differently, not to say there is a chance she could relearn things.

If she learned to only orgasm with her legs together and straight out then maybe her learning to O by herself in other positions? Try a few new toys and give her some time by herself. Go take the kids out of the house and set her up. Tell her the only rule is she can't put her legs together. I'm also thinking maybe a new dildo, maybe one with a suction cup that she could ride?

Side note, one of my favorite PIV positions is with my wife's legs together and straight. My legs are outside and really makes it tight for me. I usually go pretty quick like this. 

Have you tried it from behind (not anal, but PIV) with her lying on her stomach, legs straight? She will need to arch her back a little to give you the angle for penetration.

my 2 cents. Have fun learning, keep communicating and re-enforce that you love her deeply.


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