# But I still want her back.....



## czaR1 (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi all, I'm new to this forum and as I've read several posts...I felt very inspired to write about my situation.
I've been married 9 years to a beautiful woman and we have 2 beautiful kids together. I just recently moved out and got my own place because it seemed at the time as the only thing to do for both of our happiness. We had some issues back in June and she immediately started having LOTS of conversation with another guy. When we reconciled she swore that the phone thing with the guy was nothing and just conversation. She even admitted that it was wrong and that she should have been more focused on the marriage instead of somebody else being in her ear. Well, last month I moved out of the home and she's talking to this same guy again ALOT and I found a receipt for condoms in her car.
I truly love this woman and want to show our kids that people can go through things and still WIN at the end. The kids want us together so bad but I understand we can't do it for them....but how do I get pass the thoughts of all this conversation and potentially sex involved? What do people do to move forward? Thanks


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Join the club.

"She wouldn't do that"


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Google "180 divorce busting list".

Focus on you. Work out. Pick up old hobbies or find new ones. 

Do what you enjoy... for you.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

People don't buy condoms to make balloon animals. They buy them to have sex. It's premediated sex. 

So if she had sex with someone else (and she almost definitely did), would you be willing to reconcile? Or is it a deal-breaker for you? Your answer to that may determine what kind of responses you get in here.

C


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

What is your goal? 

Move past this or stop the affair and reconcile?


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## czaR1 (Sep 21, 2010)

I've not been a saint myself..and it wouldn't be fair for me to say "the hell with her" because she did have sex with somebody but what's the process of getting over that and moving on? I'm just really surprised she's having sex already....what does that mean?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What does it mean? Most likely that she's either been thinking about it in the past, or has done it in the past. Like, say... June. Do you have access to her cell phone records to see how much she's been burning it up?

Look up the "180" in here, and start implementing it, if you want to move on without her. If you want to bust up her relationship with the other dude and try to fix your marriage, read the threads in the CWI forum about how to do that. 

C


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## czaR1 (Sep 21, 2010)

PBear said:


> What does it mean? Most likely that she's either been thinking about it in the past, or has done it in the past. Like, say... June. Do you have access to her cell phone records to see how much she's been burning it up?
> 
> Look up the "180" in here, and start implementing it, if you want to move on without her. If you want to bust up her relationship with the other dude and try to fix your marriage, read the threads in the CWI forum about how to do that.
> 
> C


Thanks for the advice. What is the CWI forum?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Coping With Infidelity. It's one of the forums on here.

C


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## czaR1 (Sep 21, 2010)

PBear said:


> Coping With Infidelity. It's one of the forums on here.
> 
> C


Thanks!


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