# Confused



## carmelcandy (Sep 6, 2012)

I'm 36yrs old i have been with the same man since i was 16. We have been married for 13 yrs. We have four wonderful children 17,14,10,and 10. I no longer love him and everyday when i get home from work he picks fights with me. He is becoming a very different person from the man i meet 20 odd yrs ago.His words hurt he says he not turning the kids against me but they are acting as if i.m the enemy not there mother. I no longer want to be sexual with him, it is to the point that his touch makes my skin crawl. There is not another person in my life at this time. I need to know should i stay because of the children or leave and understand myself.


----------



## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

You have 4 teenagers in your household. Sometimes that's enough emotional weight to wreck the Empire Estate building. 

If you and your husband don't learn to detach from the daily ups and downs of their world, you will end up getting depressed and probably divorced.

Marriage counseling and Individual Counseling are a MUST for both of you.

If your husband is not seeing the problem and can't cooperate, you should seek IC yourself. 



> I no longer love him





> I no longer want to be sexual with him





> it is to the point that his touch makes my skin crawl


With the 3 facts above, how do you expect your husband to be the man he was 20 years ago?!!

Your share in the demise of your marriage is 50%. No less, no more. Own your part and then expect your husband to do the same after. Be the better, smarter and healthier person if you can(not just this time, but always).


----------



## carmelcandy (Sep 6, 2012)

i have set up counseling and he don't want to go so i'm going on Monday. i talk to my female and male friends and they cant help me understand when and where the break down happen. 
thank you
confused


----------



## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

carmelcandy said:


> i have set up counseling and he don't want to go so i'm going on Monday. i talk to my female and male friends and they cant help me understand when and where the break down happen.
> thank you
> confused


Your goal should be to learn about aspects of your personality that contributed to the failure of your marriage. Your husband might do the same in the future, but that's not your concern right now. OWN YOUR PART.

Friends are not there to help you understand your internal issues. They're there for emotional support. 

Aside from support, you need enlightenment and self-awareness. Your friends can't help you with that. Only YOU can. 

Read, think and seek counseling. Lead by example.


----------

