# WTF!!!!!!



## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I am almost a year into this situation. I have resolved my self to thinking and knowing that this is better for ME. I am no longer needing closure or anything else from my STBXH. I go and do what I need and want to do to make it work for me. I have it all together and then today as I am driving and listening to Adele's CD....I have a thought and it brought tears to my eyes. How did he not love me enough? then how did he take his daughter from me like that and nothing. Then I had the what is she doing, what does she think happened? I cried a little bit but nothing like before. The just as easy as the moment came it passed. Healing from this hurt definitely takes time


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## Meatpuppet (Jan 2, 2012)

I feel your pain  If you plotted my emotions for the last week on a graph, they'd look like a record of the stock market (ups and downs, but mostly downs). 

Family, friends, and faith have helped me tremendously. Unfortunately, that magic "fast-forward" button we all which we could push doesn't exist. For me, it's not even day by day, it's hour by hour. 

Find some joy, however little, to make those hours less painful. I like to imagine snow falling: it's comes down a little at a time, but eventually it'll cover everything.

We just gotta take it one flake at a time. Hang in there


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Oh I know what you're talking about! It's 10 months since DDay and 6 months since divorce.

I have been enjoying myself and not waking or going to sleep with the last thought being the ex for a while and wham:

this morning I want to friend him on FB???? Yes wtf. Those moments when they come are strong but I shared on here and I made it through without doing that insanity.

It is getting better though, isn't it? Remember that searing pain? I remember it but I don't feel that anymore, yahoo.

Let's keep taking care of ourselves and nurturing us!


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

You loved him.

The love gets stuffed where it needs to go when they leave you and yet it occasionally gets out in the open here and there and needs to be put away again.

Not an altogether bad thing.

Means you have feelings and they are valid and count and you are handling them as best as you can.

And.....the Adele songs ARE sad.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

@ Meatpuppet, we are all connected aren't we...no matter the distance or the gender...we all hurt and feel great disappointment. I wish the best for you and will pray for you and you pray for me and we will make it through.

@ Sparkles we are on almost the same time line, it was 9months since he snuck his cowardly behind out and I came on here and got what I needed to make it through and reach this point. I remember the helpful words you shared and they gave me strength. Yes we need to continue to fight the good fight together ;o) The bible tells we are more than conquerors, so I know we will make it.

@ Cathy, I know of which you speak, for the longest I wondered what was I supposed to do with allthe love I had for my H but most importantly his 13 yo daughter who I became her mother for 24 days a month for three years. In fact I think it is her I yearn for connection with...not the big headed one ;o) But she is theirs and I have to realize that and keep it moving forward. My feelings now are so immature, and I do not have any need to connect with another man...at least right now. The loss of love is a hurtful thing, but I will make it and be better for it. I pray.

Thanks for the kind words and sharing


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## 52flower (Mar 4, 2011)

I don't think your healing would be real if you said you didn't have the downs every once in a while. You are moving in the right direction and that's what matters the most. I'm 1 year post divorce and I admit that a wave of uncontrollable sadness overcomes me once in a while still. It catches me off guard and just like you, is often triggered by a song with fitting lyrics or a memory. It rips another jagged tear into my heart that is growing stronger. It's OK, it'll just take a bit longer to get there.

I accept that he has made a choice to betray & leave "us" but for me it still sends a sharp dagger when I think how he could lie and betray to my face after 17 years of being best friends. It's a tough one to face. Somehow something happens to help me snap out of it....a group class at the gym, a different song, a phone call. Thank goodness....

I think you are strong and real and because of that, you will get to happy days soon. I am looking forward to them too. Sorry for your angst but hang in there, hesnothappy...you are not alone having these feelings.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

@52flower,you are so right...acceptance is a big part of resolve. I have resolved that my love was not enough for him, so I am cool with that. I just can't seem to fully accept that his daughter is gone from my life and is doing OK. My phone kept ringing last night and noone would say anything...probably not her, but I could imagine it was her wanting to connect. I would get a good feeling then I would remember our last contact and snap back to reality. I will give her a little more time, then I will try to connect again. Knowing that you are not alone has been a big part of me healing and movin forward...I gain strength to know that it wasn't just me ;o)

Everyone have a wonderful day.


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