# Need men's advise on how to excite more



## Lostmind30 (Sep 26, 2010)

Good evening, 
I am was not quite sure if I needed to put this here or in the men's section, but here goes. H and I have been having issues. I have posted it in the coping with infidelity forum. Anyway, we are going on our first ever us only vacation. This is to help repair our relationship but it is also a mini honeymoon since we never had the chance to take one. 
Now I have gone out and bought a corset, skirt and lace stockings to wear to excite my man, but I was wondering if there was anything else visually that might excite him in addition to this. Besides full nudity. I would like to bring us closer and not just enjoy the sex so I want to excite him emotionally as well as physically. 
I just wandered if there was anything else I could do to make it memorable. 
Any advice is welcomed and appreciated. Thanks so much


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

1st question, what turns on ur man?

why i am asking this is because hope to know some of ur previous attemps to seduce/entice him before we can suggest something else for u to try out


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## Dadeo (Oct 2, 2010)

One mans opinion, but try this...

If you are going away someplace, i assume they will have a hotel lounge. Go sit down have a couple of drinks, but not too much and then just say to him, "so what turns you on?. "What can i do to excite you".
You might have to bring it up a little slower, but us men sometimes need to be whacked over the head to open up. Also, you might have to share yourself as well, begin opening up and talk about what really does it for both of you. but the point is to begin the conversation and not let it die. keep at him and let him know that you really do want to excite him. you never know what you might learn! 

Hope it works out for you!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

#1 Appreciation= thank him for everything
#2 Compliment= he's smart
#3 Compliment=he's strong
#4 Compliment=he's handsom

We love an ego boost. just any old " hey I'm a good guy" kind of thing goes a long way. Rub, We like rubs, a pat on the back, a small touch to the arm or a lite tap on *ss ( the old that a boy).


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## Lostmind30 (Sep 26, 2010)

Well I guess that is sort of why I was asking malmale. The problem is that he doesn't really have anything that he has ever told me. I mean I ask all the time and we are not dull by any means. We have toys, movies and just recently I have gotten into dressing up, but he has never made any comments on what he likes that actually turns him on or excites him. 

I was basically wanting just some well rounded ideas that may breach that borderline between flirty arousing fun and the actual act itself. I have recently started doing the random acts of praise to help boost his ego a little. It seems to be helping and to be honest it is probably past due. Oh and Dadeo, I did try that once, but all he seems to share is the things he wants to do during the actual act. While we have used that to spice up the actual act itself and increase enjoyment, I am really looking for .... I guess the wording would be better put as "THE ULTIMATE TEASE" I put i that way because I want something that will make him want to go even before we start physically. I appreciate the responses and will try to fit them in to see how the results work out. Thanks so much to each of you and of course I am welcome to anymore comments.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

In attitude leading up to this vacation, do, act, and behave in all ways you would as if he is your hero.

The skirt, and underthings are excellent. Make sure your attitude is matching these things as well, as you are not wearing these things for your good health, but for his benefit and pleasure and make sure you are fully playing this part.

On vacaction, find the many opportunities to pursue intimacy with elements of risk, such as to steal a passionate kiss and makeout in the elevator when the doors close, or in some less public part of the lobby or floor of the hotel, or with some contact under the table during dinner. 

Imagine if you and he were meeting and exploring each other for the first time. Use your imagination to come up with ideas that you would be doing say, if you and he were maybe barely even knowing each other, yet there is the sexual attraction and exploration, but also the excitement and discovery and risk! 

For if two business travellers were to hook up at the vacation spot, or if you and he were forbidden lovers. Understand in the bonds of marriage it is not only safe but even most desirables to pursue these "forbidden fruit" fantasies together, to experience these passionate and emotional and sexual rushes from the attitude of "forbidden fruit" you and he will not be quick to forget these things! 

Be willing to explore these things with your man, and be willing to invite your man to even share and explore his own fantasies!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The lingerie is really great, but for me, there's nothing like a day full of subtle tease. When you're walking with him, take his hand. When you're riding next to him, caress his thigh, give him a long kiss on the cheek, etc. Sometimes a longer than normal glance, a little verbal tease, a caress on his rear or crotch when nobody's looking, by the time you hit the hotel, he won't care if you're wearing a feed sack.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Lostmind30 said:


> Well I guess that is sort of why I was asking malmale. The problem is that he doesn't really have anything that he has ever told me. I mean I ask all the time and we are not dull by any means. We have toys, movies and just recently I have gotten into dressing up, but he has never made any comments on what he likes that actually turns him on or excites him.
> 
> I was basically wanting just some well rounded ideas that may breach that borderline between flirty arousing fun and the actual act itself. I have recently started doing the random acts of praise to help boost his ego a little. It seems to be helping and to be honest it is probably past due. Oh and Dadeo, I did try that once, but all he seems to share is the things he wants to do during the actual act. While we have used that to spice up the actual act itself and increase enjoyment, I am really looking for .... I guess the wording would be better put as "THE ULTIMATE TEASE" I put i that way because I want something that will make him want to go even before we start physically. I appreciate the responses and will try to fit them in to see how the results work out. Thanks so much to each of you and of course I am welcome to anymore comments.


guess some men are more fussy than the rest! lol
for me, if wifey were to initiate having sex, i'd jump on her the very next moment (due to severe deficiency of sex lol). 

maybe u can try this n see if he opens up. why not go to the sex store together n try to see if he finds something amusing n interesting. u can try to find some clues there...

but cud it be because of the past issues that he's not ready to fully commit himself to u, yet?


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## Lostmind30 (Sep 26, 2010)

malmale said:


> but cud it be because of the past issues that he's not ready to fully commit himself to u, yet?


That is my fear. Hence the reason I want to do any and every possible thing imaginable to eliminate any chance that he might think about any OW. Now he never admitted to any affair, but the signs were all there along with small evidence. We addressed it, he denied, I accepted...to a point. Anyway things have been better now with no regression and I want to keep it on that track. I believe if there was an EA or PA, then it had to be based soley on sex since he is soooo high driven. Our bedroom life is good, exciting for the most part, etc, but he does want it more than twice a week and honestly with him working nights, me days and kids, I just can't make any more time than that. So this is my way of #1- keeping him focused on us and what we have together, #2-rewarding him for working so hard for our family, #3-Showing him just how much I do love him. 

I love some of these suggestions and will absolutely try them out. Thank you all so much!


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## Teach Me (Oct 7, 2010)

Get on an elevater, wearing a skirt, with him in the back, you back up on him, and have him put his hand up the back of your skirt, of course you should be bare.....Kinda surprise him.....Then pull away... 
Out of the blue, say, "Wet"...he will be confused, but if you say it randomly, he will soon get what your saying...
When he comes home, be waiting on the bed,on your knees, panties down, with the belt laying across your legs, tell him you need a good spanking, you are a BAD BAD GIRL!!!!
Maybe spank him for lacking.....


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Teach Me said:


> Get on an elevater, wearing a skirt, with him in the back, you back up on him, and have him put his hand up the back of your skirt, of course you should be bare.....Kinda surprise him.....Then pull away...
> Out of the blue, say, "Wet"...he will be confused, but if you say it randomly, he will soon get what your saying...
> When he comes home, be waiting on the bed,on your knees, panties down, with the belt laying across your legs, tell him you need a good spanking, you are a BAD BAD GIRL!!!!
> Maybe spank him for lacking.....


or maybe we can modify this a lil bit... instead of getting his hands up the back of skirt, why not if she had to accidentally pick up something from the ground, with him at the back, she bends down showing her bare @** and pu$$*, and on her cheeks, it is written "SPANK ME"


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

Teachme and malmale, you guys are hilarious!! , why don't you collaborate on some erotica?


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Lostmind30 said:


> Good evening,
> I am was not quite sure if I needed to put this here or in the men's section, but here goes. H and I have been having issues. I have posted it in the coping with infidelity forum. Anyway, we are going on our first ever us only vacation. This is to help repair our relationship but it is also a mini honeymoon since we never had the chance to take one.
> Now I have gone out and bought a corset, skirt and lace stockings to wear to excite my man, but I was wondering if there was anything else visually that might excite him in addition to this. Besides full nudity. I would like to bring us closer and not just enjoy the sex so I want to excite him emotionally as well as physically.
> I just wandered if there was anything else I could do to make it memorable.
> Any advice is welcomed and appreciated. Thanks so much


What it works for me is when my wife shows that she wants me...I'll be getting out the shower and she walks in the badroom and kiss me and inmeditaly reaches for my penis and touch it like she mean it.....also, when in bed, she inmidatly get closer to me and we start kissing very sofltly and she reaches for my balls and massage them so nice....and grab my penis and stroke it very nicesly.....also send me to the roof when she suck it and grab it from below the balls like having the whole thing about to be removed from your body and having her sucking on it like she wants to swallow the whole thing....right there I am done, I have to take over and give what she deserves.......


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Sara Ann said:


> Teachme and malmale, you guys are hilarious!! , why don't you collaborate on some erotica?


if he n i collaborated, i sincerely hope ur not suggesting us to have a BBM session? LOL

things is both wifey n i knows how crazy my fantasies are, sadly instead of allowing me to explore those fantasies with her, she labels me as a Testosterone loaded sex-crazed maniac! :slap:


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

malmale said:


> things is both wifey n i knows how crazy my fantasies are, sadly instead of allowing me to explore those fantasies with her, she labels me as a Testosterone loaded sex-crazed maniac! :slap:


She is testing you, to see if you are really meaning it.

Do not back down, be confident and bold that YES you are this maniac becaues of her, and then show her how much a maniac you truly are.

A woman, she is not going to be quick to embrace these fantasies, as she has been taught nice girls etc etc etc.

She needs her man to show it is safe for her to experience these things, that she can always "blame him" for being a maniac, and not have to worry that her man will think less of her.

Understand her test is the key to passing them. 

So be the good man with the mettle to pass them with flying colors!


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

LOL
i'd be more than n happy if she was testing me! n i can assure u i will pass with flying colors!haha

but not with her, i myself dont see a reason for her to explore my fantasies, she said it herself too


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## Lostmind30 (Sep 26, 2010)

Ok wow....Absolutely great ideas... I just have to figure out how to incorporate them. We won't have an elevator because we are at a cottage B&B, but we are going to Hot Springs where there are plenty of walking trails... I was hoping to use those to my advantage and try a little outdoor play similiar to what yall said to do on the elevator. 

What I have to figure out is how in the hell to write spank me on my butt....I think I might try to find a nice bikini with it on there instead...or maybe some crotchless undies that could help me out on that end. 

Thanks again guys for all the help.... keep thinking as well and let me know of any new ideas. We aren't leaving until the 20th so still plenty of time to get some props and ideas together.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

LOL
all the best!!!:smthumbup:

by d way, since u mentioned Hot Springs, is it just a name or is there a real hot spring there? u know in japan, they kinda like sharing the hot springs together, something additional for u to ponder


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Lostmind30 said:


> Good evening,
> I am was not quite sure if I needed to put this here or in the men's section, but here goes. H and I have been having issues. I have posted it in the coping with infidelity forum. Anyway, we are going on our first ever us only vacation. This is to help repair our relationship but it is also a mini honeymoon since we never had the chance to take one.
> Now I have gone out and bought a corset, skirt and lace stockings to wear to excite my man, but I was wondering if there was anything else visually that might excite him in addition to this. Besides full nudity. I would like to bring us closer and not just enjoy the sex so I want to excite him emotionally as well as physically.
> I just wandered if there was anything else I could do to make it memorable.
> Any advice is welcomed and appreciated. Thanks so much


Wow! It seriously does depend on the man. One thing though I think may be common but I’m not all sure about that and that is full nudity. Men have a seriously good visual imagination and if it’s all “on show” there’s not much to imagine. Just depends on how the full nudity comes about. See throughs work for me as does clothing that accentuates a woman’s body. It is like a bit of teasing, tease with you behaviour and clothing and the man’s imagination will do the rest.

I think most men like to initiate, but I haven’t heard of one man who wouldn’t love his wife to initiate at times. I’ve a book called Supersex (by Tracey Cox (!!!)). She may have a website. Title’s somewhat misleading, there’s some seriously good stuff in there particularly about what goes on inside the head (the upper head, well both in fact lol).

Good luck

Bob


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