# Today is a big day.



## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

Today my nephew from my x's side is getting married for the first time, he is 34. His mother is the only sibling from my x's side that has communicated with me (we are still close) at ALL since finding out about my x's affair and my subsequent divorce soon to be two years ago. (There are five brothers) And while I understand that blood is thicker than water, I have been most disappointed that not one, x brother in laws or their spouses, have even said a "sorry for your troubles" "take care of yourself" "wishing you the best". Don't expect my x to be there with her husband (married the OM six months after divorce was final, divorce took 82 days) as she has not talked to my SIL for 15 years (no one knows why, x is just psycho) so that is not an issue for me. I am going because my nephew still thinks of me as his Uncle and he seriously wants me there, and I want to be there for him. My plan is to be as cheerful as possible, smile a lot. I have even practiced my, "Why F you are looking great!" for my x MIL (who told someone, "I never like Hoosier anyway) during the reception line. I don't want to look sullen, give them anything to allow them say "Boy she was lucky to get rid of that guy". Before I go into the barn (where they are getting married) I am going to pray for calm, peace, and smiles. Other than the family, many people who are friends and I haven't seen in years are going to be there, I plan on making the most of my time with them.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Hoosier said:


> Today my nephew from my x's side is getting married for the first time, he is 34. His mother is the only sibling from my x's side that has communicated with me (we are still close) at ALL since finding out about my x's affair and my subsequent divorce soon to be two years ago. (There are five brothers) And while I understand that blood is thicker than water, I have been most disappointed that not one, x brother in laws or their spouses, have even said a "sorry for your troubles" "take care of yourself" "wishing you the best". Don't expect my x to be there with her husband (married the OM six months after divorce was final, divorce took 82 days) as she has not talked to my SIL for 15 years (no one knows why, x is just psycho) so that is not an issue for me. I am going because my nephew still thinks of me as his Uncle and he seriously wants me there, and I want to be there for him. My plan is to be as cheerful as possible, smile a lot. I have even practiced my, "Why F you are looking great!" for my x MIL (who told someone, "I never like Hoosier anyway) during the reception line. I don't want to look sullen, give them anything to allow them say "Boy she was lucky to get rid of that guy". Before I go into the barn (where they are getting married) I am going to pray for calm, peace, and smiles. Other than the family, many people who are friends and I haven't seen in years are going to be there, I plan on making the most of my time with them.


Pray for them as well! And kudos to your nephew.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Dude, go there and be awesome. Don't 'force' it just be fun, personable and open.

If I remember your story correctly you now have (had? I hope not) a lovely GF.

If so, is she going?

I know that this occasion is to celebrate with your Nephew but it would be nice to leave a grudging good impression on the MIL.

After all, she may not have liked you, and you may not have been perfect but you have to be way better than the twonk your ex has ended up with.

Go, and enjoy yourself, reconnect with friends and family.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

All I can say is that I hope ALL of you can remember whose day it is you're celebrating. 

C


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Enjoy the day, and then do something for yourself.


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

PBear... Don't worry, I do know whos day it is. It is not about me, but them. (Nephew waited a long time to get married, he picked a real good one, they have a lot in common and are a real good pair) It is because who it is that will help me keep it together...no way I want to distract from their wedding!
Wysh, You remember correctly, and it is "till have" She however is not going as a good family friend of hers is getting married today as well in another town hour and a half away. My xMIL did in fact like me, she is just a little fuzzy on the details due to advancing age and not the sharpest before that. I am going to remember not to "force it" great advice. I was/am twice the man my x ended up with. I know it, and they all know it as well, no pride talking just fact. (she is his 4th or 5th wife)
Thank you all for great advice and kind thoughts.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Be on the lookout for the available ladies. Weddings are good for that.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Have a great day!


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## MrMathias (Nov 19, 2012)

I'm not a fan of minimizing problems through comparison, but a friend of mine often says "They probably won't skin you and eat you" at times like this. Have a good time


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Challenges like this can be so hard, but are often so rewarding. Your nephew, his bride, and your SIL all sound like wonderful people who very much want you there on such a big day. Hope you have a great time.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Hoosier, you've made huge strides both mentally and physically. Physically, you've improved by leaps and bounds. They need to see the new you, confident and attractive, because you are.

Of course you will be bringing your attractive lady friend along, not to just to show them that you can do better, but to help keep you grounded and not uncomfortable.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

I think it's awesome you still want to be there for your nephew. Have fun.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Great to see this positive attitude Hoosier. 

Go to a department store and ask one of the younger sales woman to pick out some sharp clothes for you. Not a guy or an older woman but a gal in the age group you want to attract. Let her dress you head to toe.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

Good plan to take the high road... I'm sure you will have a great time. Living well is certainly the best revenge.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Hey man..
I remember going through that crap just a few months ahead of you. I really felt the pain all over again when your long marriage broke down. I also remember that you did the full 180 and like me met a wonderful woman. I was like W00T, well maybe not W00T, more like "Jolly good". But you get the idea. 

Be yourself, laugh when you want to laugh and let them see the new you. They are not going to believe it.

Congrats to your nephew and good on him for inviting you. 
Have a great day then you get to go home. Knowing it is really is home. 
Priceless.


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## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

Rent a Ferrari for the weekend, and ask the Model from the car gallery to come to the event with you for photos, tell your GF you want to do this. Let your nephew and his wife take a spin around the block while you parade the Ferrari girl around the wedding party. You will have awesome pictures, a ride in a nice car, a happy nephew, a nice story to tell. If anyone asks, say you met in Italy last week playing Bacci ball and her uncle lent you the car


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

I am so glad I went! I did go solo as the GF had a wedding a ways away to attend, but really had a wonderful time. My nephew was truely glad that I came, my SIL made a great effort to talk to me, hugged me, and she and her husband both were very pleased I was there. I saw all 5 of my xbil's. Mostly from across the way as it was an outdoor wedding (perfect day) and quite a few people there. I did run right into two of them, they said a small hello, I smiled back (as warmly as I could) and said hello. Most priceless: I came around the corner, and sitting at a table was the xmil. Seeing me she raised her hand in greeting and started to smile, as a normal reflex. Then remembering, she slowly started lowering her hand tried to look away. I simply walked up to the table, smiled and said what I had practiced over and over, " Why F, you are looking good!" (She is in her 80's) . She said "thank -you" I could tell my response puzzled her by her smile. I was able to track down the one niece (40's) from BIL'sfamily who had taken the time to dropped me a note saying how sorry she was for the situation. I thanked her and told her how much it meant to me, then immediately started talking about other things and we had a real nice conversation, which I know will get back to them all. The x did not show, guess there was some drama on her part on whether she was invited or not (go figure, as she was) bet her new husband (the same guy who won't let her have her own cell phone) had some say in that decision. Any way it really could not have gone better for me. I enjoyed myself, I looked to be having fun without being fakey because I was. I talked to the one niece to let her know how much her little note two years ago meant to me, and my nephew beamed that I was there, and I got to be a part of his special day. Can't beat that! Oh, and the 40 pounds I lost? Found them on three of my BIl's waistlines! I owe my success to TAM. So glad I took the high road, and for once it really was not that hard a journey. Maybe I am getting past this all, surely more confident than since this journey began.


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## Mike11 (Aug 25, 2011)

That is the Best Revenge you can have on your ex, the best would have been you coming with your GF, that would really drive it in , your ex will get the noise of this, Best revenge is live well


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Hoosier, wake up! You were invited only to get a gift from you! Why would you expect anything from your Ed's side of the family? It's not appropriate. Forget those people. Show some self respect and decline the invite. The whole thing is nuttier than trends after eating peanuts....just saying...


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Hoosier said:


> I am so glad I went! I did go solo as the GF had a wedding a ways away to attend, but really had a wonderful time. My nephew was truely glad that I came, my SIL made a great effort to talk to me, hugged me, and she and her husband both were very pleased I was there. I saw all 5 of my xbil's. Mostly from across the way as it was an outdoor wedding (perfect day) and quite a few people there. I did run right into two of them, they said a small hello, I smiled back (as warmly as I could) and said hello. Most priceless: I came around the corner, and sitting at a table was the xmil. Seeing me she raised her hand in greeting and started to smile, as a normal reflex. Then remembering, she slowly started lowering her hand tried to look away. I simply walked up to the table, smiled and said what I had practiced over and over, " Why F, you are looking good!" (She is in her 80's) . She said "thank -you" I could tell my response puzzled her by her smile. I was able to track down the one niece (40's) from BIL'sfamily who had taken the time to dropped me a note saying how sorry she was for the situation. I thanked her and told her how much it meant to me, then immediately started talking about other things and we had a real nice conversation, which I know will get back to them all. The x did not show, guess there was some drama on her part on whether she was invited or not (go figure, as she was) bet her new husband (the same guy who won't let her have her own cell phone) had some say in that decision. Any way it really could not have gone better for me. I enjoyed myself, I looked to be having fun without being fakey because I was. I talked to the one niece to let her know how much her little note two years ago meant to me, and my nephew beamed that I was there, and I got to be a part of his special day. Can't beat that! Oh, and the 40 pounds I lost? Found them on three of my BIl's waistlines! I owe my success to TAM. So glad I took the high road, and for once it really was not that hard a journey. Maybe I am getting past this all, surely more confident than since this journey began.


Hoosier

You are way past it already.

It just doesn't feel like it yet. You are doing great and I am glad you supported your family.

That is more than your Ex did.

Keep being you and I hope your kids are well.

HM64


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

I love happy endings 

You've come a long way, Hoosier. Congrats on where you are at in life


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Hoosier : As I read your story a while back I was so devastated for you. Unbearable heart break .Well you took one of life’s best shots and came out on top. As I remember your daughter came with the full support .Do I have my threads correct? That must have been what got you through.

I am so happy things are looking up for you. People love to be around happy people.

Keep this in mind always

Best of luck


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

Just got it 55: Yep that is me. I have a daughter in Los Angeles, one in Florida and one in Indianapolis. This month (Oct) I will be seeing all three! They are firmly on my side, and love their mother as well, think she is crazy, but still love their mother (with my whole support). My x has not seen the LA girl since last Christmas, the Florida girl since last January, and the Indy girl in over a year. Her loss. thanks again all!


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Hoosier said:


> Just got it 55: Yep that is me. I have a daughter in Los Angeles, one in Florida and one in Indianapolis. This month (Oct) I will be seeing all three! They are firmly on my side, and love their mother as well, think she is crazy, but still love their mother (with my whole support). My x has not seen the LA girl since last Christmas, the Florida girl since last January, and the Indy girl in over a year. Her loss. thanks again all!


Uh yes. A mom that does not take the time out to spend with her daughters is just that......


Crazy.


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