# Lost and confused



## Meela (Sep 20, 2021)

Lost and confused but not sure how. My ex left and returned with divorce papers. Which made me wonder if he ever cared for me in the first place. Immediately after the divorce he remarried. And to make a long story short she recently passed away. After he knew that I knew he asked me out for drinks. Not sure why, I invited him to see my new home he excepted but did not come. He is not allowing the kids to see me unless he says and today his mother called. On one end I am wondering if this is a game but on the other I am just hoping that we can come to a mutual ground of parenting and work together. And since we were together over 10 years I still love him but know that the relationship is beyond damage and he has moved on. What do I do? What am I missing?


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Get a lawyer and get your kids any least 50/50.

Why haven’t you done this already?

Child custody should have been handled during the divorce.


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## Meela (Sep 20, 2021)

ABHale said:


> Get a lawyer and get your kids any least 50/50.
> 
> Why haven’t you done this already?
> 
> Child custody should have been handled during the divorce.


It was he is not holding to it I have gone twice to the police and filed we JUST got a court date


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

I don’t understand why he isn’t letting you see the kids?? He left with the kids from the time or separation?


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## JM29 (Sep 19, 2021)

First and foremost, the babies are your priority and main focus. Despite the toxic relationship you two have/had he must come to common ground and become good coparents. I hope both of you can grow as a team and work together for the kids. Doesn’t mean you have to have to date or be married, just coparents. 

My husband and I have had the divorce talk more and more lately and have a daughter together. That is the one thing we can agree on is to not be spiteful of eachother and have our daughter the main focus. Our daughter is a human being with feelings, she is Not a crutch to hurt the other parent. She’s innocent in all of this and doesn’t deserve to be hurt.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Why does he have the kids?


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## Meela (Sep 20, 2021)

Luckylucky said:


> I don’t understand why he isn’t letting you see the kids?? He left with the kids from the time or separation?


He was at first then covid hit and he stopped. It was rocky at first and the judge said no she gets them every other week because again he was dictating when he wanted me to get them. I was driving 40 mins away sleeping in my car because I just got off of work. Driving back to check on my mom driving back again to pick them up from school and then bringing the kids back to do homework, try to do my school work; I went back to school before putting them to bed and taking a nap to go to work to get off and do it all over again. I would sit for an hour with my youngest because my mid child school started at 7:30. We would talk watch movies, get snack, wash clothes (my mom had began to mess on herself), go to the grocery his neighborhood people began to know me. For 2 years straight my youngest got that one on one with me he no longer gets that.


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## Meela (Sep 20, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> Why does he have the kids?


He took them. He went away to join the military he came back and gave me the divorce papers. I thought he was going to stay where we were living so the kids could continue to go to school. Later I found out he moved and did not tell me. I protested this with the court because he stated that his information did not change and it did. And this was before I agreed that we would alternate the kids on a weekly basis. The courts thus far have done nothing I feel to make me feel supported or that they even care.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Can you take your custody agreement to the police to have THEM meet you where your kids are so that you can take them?


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## Meela (Sep 20, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> Can you take your custody agreement to the police to have THEM meet you where your kids are so that you can take them?


I did and I was told that there is no order in place that is the divorce which is separate in court. I went to multiple stations and was told this. I took my daughter who was crying saying she didn’t want to go back and they did nothing. His dad is ex military and police same with him and his family. Another reason I am wondering if this is a game. I went to his house to see them and they would not come out until he called them a and gave them permission to do so.


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

Meela said:


> I did and I was told that there is no order in place that is the divorce which is separate in court. I went to multiple stations and was told this. I took my daughter who was crying saying she didn’t want to go back and they did nothing. His dad is ex military and police same with him and his family. Another reason I am wondering if this is a game. I went to his house to see them and they would not come out until he called them a and gave them permission to do so.


You need a bulldog of a lawyer. I am having a hard time understanding how you could accept an invitation to get drinks with a man who keeps your children from you.

Seems like there’s more to this story.


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