# I have a high drive and hubby is low drive. I need help being subtle!



## Angeltots (Oct 30, 2012)

Some background on us. We're practically newly weds, I'm 29, he's 33 . If it was up to me, I'd like to do it at least 3-4x a week, and more than once every time, if I can be greedy. In reality, we only do it once a month, never done it more than round 1 each time, and 98% of the time I initiate it. 

We have came to the conclusion that it turns him on most when I'm being my cute, innocent self. On the other hand, at those times, I'm not really trying to be anything, and somehow I can't replicate it when I actually need him to be turned on. 

I bought some sexy but cute pink lingerie last night. Hopefully that will help. Order should arrive in two days. 

So tips on being subtle? Creeping my hand slowly down is too bold for him. It's hard to control myself and be subtle when I want to just jump him! 

Thanks in advance for any tips. Questions are welcome.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## homebuilder (Aug 25, 2012)

thats like not eating for 3 days and then someone telling you to take your time and chew your food


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

a 2x4 up side his head!

hes one lucky guy and don't even know it!

how about a frank talk about getting your needs met. or run for the hills before the kids come along!

this is a topic talked about a lot on her and unfortunatly it seem to not get resolved more than resolved.

hammer it out now before it to late!


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## LearninAsWeGo (Oct 20, 2012)

Discuss your fantasies, use toys, tease, use outfits, candles, etc.

...and tell him to stop watching so much porn or having an affair. At 33, unless he's a fat slob or smokes weed or something, his drive should be much higher... 2x week bare minimum. That's concerning.


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

Hm...subtle?

So, telling him to get his T-levels tested is not subtle enough then?

One thing my wife did (or still does), was spike my drinks with a little thing called horny goat weed. You can pick it up in most health food stores. Works wonders for me, and I didn't know she did until I had the proof in front of me. 

Might try that.

Or you could get some viagra. Special order, slip some in his wine or drink, let the results of the drug meet you in an hour...

Or if you REALLY wanted to spike his drive, various androgenous forms of testosterone will get turn a tame house cat into a mighty lion, but that is a more...controversial road to go. 
But it does work. Just saying.


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## Angeltots (Oct 30, 2012)

He doesn't watch porn at all! He's not turned on by them. Seems like his sex drive is really dead.. no affair. He's too proper for that. Same goes for toys. I have never had this problem before, but then again, I seem to be more experienced than him.

Maybe I could make a doctor's appointment for him to get checked out. He could lose some. He works out and is active paying volleyball at least once a week.
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## Angeltots (Oct 30, 2012)

Haha Juicer, I might try those when I'm extremely desperate. Right now I can still bear it. Are they very safe? I wouldn't want any bad side effects on him because he's my husband! Lol.
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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Been there done that and if I had to do it over I would have ran to my nearest attorney. 

These things don't usually get better they get worse. Why waste the prime of your sexual life on someone like this?


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## Angeltots (Oct 30, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> Been there done that and if I had to do it over I would have ran to my nearest attorney.
> 
> These things don't usually get better they get worse. Why waste the prime of your sexual life on someone like this?


I know, but if he's willing to talk to me and work with me together, he really is above average in everything else. That's why I'm staying.
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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

Angeltots said:


> Haha Juicer, I might try those when I'm extremely desperate. Right now I can still bear it. Are they very safe? I wouldn't want any bad side effects on him because he's my husband! Lol.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Horny goat weed is. I remember one night I caught my wife sprinkling it on a steak. Said it was 'seasoning'

You will have to take it out of capsules though, so it might be a little bit of work. 

As for steroids, depends. 
If you are stupid and abuse them to the point of ODing, then NO! 
But if you are smart and use them correctly, you'll be fine. I used them responsibly for over 12 years, and never suffered any horrible health problems. (didn't drink alcohol though, one cost of it) My health problems arose from a massive OD on them. 
But they are much safer than the media makes them out to be.


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## Angeltots (Oct 30, 2012)

Thanks Juicer. That's good to know. And I'll be responsible if and when I use it. 

..now people, as for the subtle part...tips?  I'm not breaking up with my husband for this. I love him more than that. 
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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Angeltots said:


> Thanks Juicer. That's good to know. And I'll be responsible if and when I use it.
> 
> ..now people, as for the subtle part...tips?  I'm not breaking up with my husband for this. I love him more than that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


famous last words!!!!! give it 20 years of frustration. and you will be singing a different tune!

Good luck. ps I hope your not seriously thinking about spiking his food!


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## Angeltots (Oct 30, 2012)

I thought at this site, people needs to be supportive. Not bash me and make me leave my husband for this. Besides, it's easier to run away and not deal with it. But I am not that kind of person. Don't judge me and don't judge my husband. I don't need to defend myself and defend him at all. Stay on topic or don't comment at all. Thank you.
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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

We have a lot of people that are somewhat jaded. 

I am being nice, because you remind me of my wife. MY drive does fluctuate due to my...life style, but her's has stayed the same. And I know what it is like to want it 3x a day, everyday. And I know what it is like to want it 1x a week. 

Trust me, if you feel like you are getting picked on, you're not. If you were in the coping with infidelity forum, with a wayward husband or you yourself were a wayward, THEN you would be getting beat up. 
And you would see my angry side. 

I am still a huge fan of 'seasoning' your husband's food. Spiking implies your drugging him. Seasoning implies your adding flavor. lol
He won't know about it, and it is subtle. 

Other than that, start initiating more often. 

Or, and here is another tidbit:
TALK ABOUT IT

People don't like talking about money, or sex. But you need to talk about both. 

When I killed my sex drive on a 4 week cycle of tren, did my wife sit quietly and wonder "Hm...my hubby's drive has gone down to almost nothing. Oh well. Must be nothing." 
Hell NO she didn't! She told me, and let me know I wasn't satisfying her, and that I needed to do something to fix it. And I did! (to the best of my ability)

So maybe try talking about it to your husband. 
Yes it was slightly emasculating to know I wasn't satisfying her. 
But I got it taken care of, because she told me I needed to do something about it. 

Does your husband know there is a problem?


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## Angeltots (Oct 30, 2012)

Yes he does, and we do talk. Sigh. I guess I'm not getting any tips. Nevermind then. I was expecting flirting tips but I guess people here are different.
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