# D day today. Mixed feelings.



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Well, after two years of legal separation and a failed reconciliation, my stbxh is now my xh. The divorce paperwork was signed by a judge today. 

I'm sad...and I know it was necessary. I will be having a drink tonight to celebrate and mourn. Feel free to have one in commiseration.


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## nickgtg (Jan 11, 2013)

Just think of it as the beginning of your new life. Today would have been my 16th anniversary with my ex, and now, for me, it's just the day after the 21st of July.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Congrats on finally getting some closure, Fire! I know your feelings are all over the place right now, but you will be feeling better real soon.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

firebelly1 said:


> I'm sad...and I know it was necessary. I will be having a drink tonight to celebrate and mourn. Feel free to have one in commiseration.


Shinerbock Ruby Redbird ok? Feeling a bit Texas this evening.

Hugs and a pat on the back too. It's never easy, but there is a certain lightness with the finality. Celebrate your own strength tonight.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

It will feel good to finally bring some closure Fire. I'm having a Captain/diet for you as I type.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

I fought like hell for mymarriage not to end. She didnt lift a finger.
When the decree came I felt a weird sort of guilty relief.

Hope you are doing okay.


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Welp, I will have a drink with you...but not in commiseration. You have a fantastic life ahead of you. Embrace it.


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## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

If I were still a drinker, I would lift one to you. Keep your chin up and know that better things await you and you are now free to pursue them.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Mixed feeling are completely appropriate. Of course you're sad that the relationship you fought for came to an end. But I also hope you are hopeful that the rest of your life can be filled with the joy and happiness that wasn't there before.
I'll toast to you tonight.
Cheers


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Thanks all. Today I am relieved that it is finally over. AND...I'm trying to be kind to myself. My biggest struggle has been my own self-talk around this - that I have now failed TWO marriages and that somehow this means I'm not meant to be in a fulfilling relationship at all. (can you hear the violins?) Today I will call bullsh*t on that stuff and move along.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

firebelly1 said:


> Thanks all. Today I am relieved that it is finally over. AND...I'm trying to be kind to myself. My biggest struggle has been my own self-talk around this - that I have now failed TWO marriages and that somehow this means I'm not meant to be in a fulfilling relationship at all. (can you hear the violins?) Today I will call bullsh*t on that stuff and move along.


Glad to hear you are moving into relief!  

And I am one divorce up on ya.  Yeah all I ever wanted was a lifetime partner, and I have been cursed with the world's worst man picker!


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

firebelly1 said:


> Thanks all. Today I am relieved that it is finally over. AND...I'm trying to be kind to myself. My biggest struggle has been my own self-talk around this - that I have now failed TWO marriages and that somehow this means I'm not meant to be in a fulfilling relationship at all. (can you hear the violins?) Today I will call bullsh*t on that stuff and move along.


Did you make the first basket you tried to shoot? Or the second?

Humans are meant to form bonds. 
Some just dont last as long as some others.

Among other things like societal change, the one thing that has really screwed things up is the recent extended life expectancy.

Timewas when being married to somebody "for life" was sometimes as little as 20 years. I just recently saw a post by someone who mentioned a couple being married 63 years.
63 years?!!!!
If this were any time before the 1600's that would have been the life expectancy for BOTH people combined. Maybe a little less, but you get my point.

Personally I think we should marry in time limited agreements...as in "Lets go take out a five year marriage contract...or maybe a ten..."

Seems like that might do a lot for gauging how serious people are and limit hurt feelings.


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## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

when i got my Divorce (after 3 years of seperation) i was also a bit numb.... but it lasted like christmas to new years eve!


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

firebelly1 said:


> Thanks all. Today I am relieved that it is finally over. AND...I'm trying to be kind to myself. My biggest struggle has been my own self-talk around this - that I have now failed TWO marriages and that somehow this means I'm not meant to be in a fulfilling relationship at all. (can you hear the violins?) Today I will call bullsh*t on that stuff and move along.


I'm also done with number two. And have had these exact feelings (like I'm damaged goods), but they pass the farther away you get from that chapter of your life. Keep calling BS on all that noise.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

3Xnocharm said:


> Glad to hear you are moving into relief!
> 
> And I am one divorce up on ya.  Yeah all I ever wanted was a lifetime partner, and I have been cursed with the world's worst man picker!


And I have the worst woman picker! Or had. I feel much better equipped after 18 months in IC!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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