# Is it an affair?



## nursemom2009 (Jan 29, 2009)

*Is it..?*

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## Kiwi (Jan 28, 2009)

what do you think?????? im sure you know....you tell me


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## nursemom2009 (Jan 29, 2009)

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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Any emotional attachment outside of marriage, physical or otherwise is adultery. You are giving something away that was promised to another. Hey how about your husband doing the same thing. You down for that?


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## nursemom2009 (Jan 29, 2009)

*


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## Kiwi (Jan 28, 2009)

oh sorry....it was meant to be a question where if you answered it then that would be your answer. YOu know i ask my self exactly the same when i was where you are now and found out ...... YES it was, its not physical but its good as, cause if he was just next door then it would be all over....i tried to kid myself, dont you! But i think the good thing is you can change/make it better....i did and i continue to! please i hope you make the right choice


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

It obviously counts as an affair to you. So basically you've done pretty much everything in front of a webcam for this guy. The way you responded to my post gives you a glimmer of how your husband would feel. Now magnify it by 1000 times because you actually did it. Just imagine the despair in his eyes when you tell him. He will be absolutely crushed. When this other guy was watching you, did your husband ever call in the middle of your show? Did he end the call by telling you that he loves you? And then you said "I love you too". Then you hung up the phone, and went back to debasing yourself for this guy. Then after you were finished you cleaned yourself up and waited till your husband came home. Hey I was just wondering, after your act is finished what was it like making love to your husband? I wonder what he would think if he knew you were fantasizing about the other guy?


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Oh, I'm sorry was that a little harsh? But, then again, I only wrote it. Where you actually did it.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Initfortheduration said:


> Oh, I'm sorry was that a little harsh? But, then again, I only wrote it. Where you actually did it.


not too harsh when you know the back story. but nurse mom, you've known all along the right answer. yes, it is an affair.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...ed-unsure-i-need-advice-please.html#post37163


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Initfortheduration said:


> It obviously counts as an affair to you. So basically you've done pretty much everything in front of a webcam for this guy. The way you responded to my post gives you a glimmer of how your husband would feel. Now magnify it by 1000 times because you actually did it. Just imagine the despair in his eyes when you tell him. He will be absolutely crushed. When this other guy was watching you, did your husband ever call in the middle of your show? Did he end the call by telling you that he loves you? And then you said "I love you too". Then you hung up the phone, and went back to debasing yourself for this guy. Then after you were finished you cleaned yourself up and waited till your husband came home. Hey I was just wondering, after your act is finished what was it like making love to your husband? I wonder what he would think if he knew you were fantasizing about the other guy?


Spot on mate....


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## nursemom2009 (Jan 29, 2009)

*


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## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

Somewhere on this very site someone said "If it is something you wouldn't do in front of your spouse, then it is cheating".

That is how I feel about it. I have looked at pictures on the Internet, but never been involved with anyone "live" or had any communication with anyone whose pictures I was looking at. Still, when my wife saw it, she was hurt beyond belief.

Granted, I would have rather her affair to have taken place online instead of the way it happened, but I would have been devistated either way.

I hope this helps.

~Moog


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

nursemom2009 said:


> Is this an affair?
> 
> Scenario:
> 
> ...


Where in here did it say that this was a forum to support cheaters? You think I am rude? Lets put it in perspective. I posted what I posted to take the veil off what you do. Based on what little you posted. You are not being judged. Your actions are. Where did I say that you're less then someone else. Where did I call you a name? My interest is not in making you comfortable. My advice will pertain to what I believe is important....... Your marriage. If you find my response rude. I am sorry you see it that way. My response was to make you think how your husband might see it. Do you think that he would look upon it differently? You don't think he will be crushed? You don't think he will be heart broken? If I developed a scenario it was for one purpose. To shine a light on something you yourself know that is wrong and that will destroy your intimacy and marriage. So you can take offense to what I say. You can focus on how mean and judgmental I am. Is that what the problem is here? My judgment? Or yours?


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

yes Nursemom, it does qualify as an emotional affair to amny.

Now the question lies, what are you going to do about it?

Continue it?

end it?

what do you want to do? and why are you trying to get out of it? What don't you get from your hubby?

Can you simply walk away from it?

tough questions with tough answers. i am not here to jusdge or throw it in your face, many people on this board have been down that road, no one is perfect.

the question for you is, where do you want to go from here?

only you can answer this.


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## onlylonelyone (Jan 26, 2009)

If you have to ask, you already know the answer? Of course it is an affair.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Yes why wouldnt they be a affair if you do something behind your husbands back and you know you cant tell him cause it would hurt him. HMMM.. lets think YES you are cheating.


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## Shameless (Jan 31, 2009)

Initfortheduration said:


> Any emotional attachment outside of marriage, physical or otherwise is adultery. You are giving something away that was promised to another. Hey how about your husband doing the same thing. You down for that?


:iagree:


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## Ari (May 19, 2010)

Sux !! I 'had' a friend that made me laugh; when I needed to laugh again, he flicked that switch, and brought the wonder back.
Certain people were not amorous to the idea that my friend could- god forbid- make me feel good about myself again; and decided to turn our friendship into an affair. These people were whom I thought my closest friends. I mean after all, we were the awesome foursome.
My husband knowing 'me' that more intimately also had the audacity to question my having an affair. I swear for all the pain they caused me the 3 of them, I wish I had. Because they certainly didn't make me laugh, let alone bring even a glimmer of a smile.

If our partners force us to cheat, we're obviously not connecting.
And by force, I mean, if we can't be honest with ourselves for fear of hurting our partners we cheat. But, we're not cheating just them we're cheating ourselves too.


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