# So, is it true? Can you make yourself fall back in love?



## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

I watched a few Michele Weiner-Davis YouTube videos and read Getting the Love You Want. I personally know it works because I've hit lows in my marriage. My husband on the other hand... Not sure he knows that love takes work. He says he's committed to making it work, but we are separated and he lives in an apt 45 minutes away. Comes over a couple nights a week to have dinner with me and the kids and puts them to bed and we sometimes just talk about mundane stuff. Haven't really talked about us lately, except discussing changing MC. He's reading a book I recommended and is interested in it. 

Has anyone out there successfully fallen back in love?


----------



## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

In the long term? Ideally, I'd like for us to be back together. I'd like our family back together and I'd like for us to be in it for the long haul. I want that, but I feel guarded at the same time because though he says he's committed to working on it too, he has a hard time saying marriage and only calls it a relationship. He's working on our "relationship". Trying not to get my hopes up and focusing on the here and now. 

We've gone out to dinner a few times. The very last time we did, it was quick and I felt there was lack of connection. That was a few weeks ago though and things have changed so much in the past 2 1/2 months. Things are definitely getting better in my perception. Feel better about myself, our relationship in regaining some semblance of a connection. But I'd like us to work on our friendship and see where it goes from there. I'm not sure there is spark there with him. 

I'll try and bait him. In fact, I asked him to spend an afternoon with me at TopGolf next weekend, seeing as how that's one thing he has always requested, that we play golf together.


----------



## meson (May 19, 2011)

It is possible to fall in love again with your spouse and vice versa. In my marriage we hit a low spot from which I did a cross between turning the temperature down and the 180 (it was before I found TAM) working on myself and then putting effort into reconnecting with my wife. I started doing the things I used to do when we were dating and sometime during that I got the head over heals feel in love feeling again. 

Love is not a switch but it is created out of an environment which for me required her attempts to reconnect as well.


----------



## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Thanks Meson. Replies like this definitely help when coming from men.


----------



## devotedtomywife (Jan 13, 2012)

I am trying to get my wife to find that spark again as well. 

Don't dwell on the past, but move forward. Date your husband again - let him find that spark all over again.

We get too comfortable in marriage - dating may make things come alive again.

Good luck


----------



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

We found it again. once you start, it just kind of snowballs.


----------



## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Thank you, guys. That is encouraging to hear.


----------

