# He's finally moving out



## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

I found out through my 14 yr old son! My H doesn't talk to me or text anymore, but when he moves, I'm going to make it clear that if he wants to see the kids he goes through ME first! Not to text them directly and make plans. Enough of this baby bulls**t not communicating. He's the one that wanted this. Whenever he is called out on something, he turns into the typical piece of sh*t that can not pay the consequences for his actions. 
Sorry for the rant, but I was in such a bad way today then I find this out through my child. He is now out shopping with my daughter...........typical "disney dad" syndrome. Shower them with gifts because he feels so guilty. I can't freakin stand him!
12 more days!! Then I can start moving on!


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Sorry for your hurt.. It will be easier in the long run especially when u leave the kids out of this. If he wants to be the "Disney dad" let him. Your kids will blame you if they see you trying to stop him from being "Disney dad" 
I recommend that you set up a schedule for the kids to visit him so you don't have to interact with him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

The thing is, he is going out and buying them expensive sneakers and clothes. We can not afford that right now since he is getting his own place. I am not going to say anything or tell him to stop. He always had a spending problem and always has to have the top of the line stuff. He likes to impress, where as I am the opposite and am more careful with money.
Anyway, I just don't want him flaunting his new "bachelor pad" to the kids, like he is proud. This is something he would do because he is deranged. 
It would be hard to set a schedule because of my sons travel baseball team. We just need to communicate. I still can't believe this is happening. Reality is hitting now. I guess I just wanted him to have a change of heart and try to work things out


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I am so sorry for your pain. My STBX and I had major communication issues and so far, nothing has changed. He is in the process of moving to another state to be with the OW. He went for a few days to try to find a place/job and texted me "this is going to be harder than I thought" Silly me thought he was referring to leaving his family and that he was trying to start a conversation about returning. Not that I'd take him back but I was hoping it was the first step in to a realization that his actions have hurt me and our children--no he meant having to actually work. Bastard. I told him to go cry on the OW shoulder. 
I guess I'm saying that the problems we had during the marriage clearly are not changing. I have no hopes that they will. So as long as your ex is paying child support etc., let him throw his money away on the children. They will see him for what he is doing.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

jenny123 said:


> I found out through my 14 yr old son! My H doesn't talk to me or text anymore, but when he moves, I'm going to make it clear that if he wants to see the kids he goes through ME first! Not to text them directly and make plans. Enough of this baby bulls**t not communicating. He's the one that wanted this. Whenever he is called out on something, he turns into the typical piece of sh*t that can not pay the consequences for his actions.
> Sorry for the rant, but I was in such a bad way today then I find this out through my child. He is now out shopping with my daughter...........typical "disney dad" syndrome. Shower them with gifts because he feels so guilty. I can't freakin stand him!
> 12 more days!! Then I can start moving on!


I know you are upset but I think him moving out will make you feel stronger and in more control since I am guessing like me you have had no control over anything since he made his decision. 
My H never told me either when he left, he just never came home. But after the first day or so the house that was full of tension became lighter and happier.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Jenny you will feel better after he leaves, it may be a lonely at first, but trust me you will feel better. My stbxh is being a "Disney dad" ( love that term, im going to use it from now on)as well. He keeps trying to by my sons love with toys to ease his guilt. Well 2.5 months after he has left hes now blown thru all the money I gave him when he left, and he quit his job, and guess what ITS NOT MY PROBLEM- no more worrying about what purchase he is making without me knowing about ( he always had a spending problem as well). This has been the most freeing part to me not having to worry about taking care of him or fixing his financial messes. Im not sure what your financial situation looks like or how much he contributes, but it will get better.


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

I hope you are right about feeling better. He was away for 6 months in another state working and would come home once a month for a weekend. When he came home for good is when he told me he isn't happy and wants a separation.....so I have a head start on being lonely, but it will be a different feeling of loneliness I guess.

I do not work, so he pays all the bills. That's the hard part. I don't think he will abandon us financially. It will be rough now having to pay for his place too. I am currently looking for work. I don't know what I would have done if I was working when he told me. I was and still am in a state of grieving/depression. I don't know how people do it.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Actually work was really good and helped me get through it because I HAD to get up every morning and go to work- no choice- If i didnt work no one else is paying the bills. Also most of the people that I work with I have worked with for 10+ so they were super supportive, which really helped. Sorry you have to depend on him financially, get that child support order in right away.


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

ok so I texted him saying that I heard he found a place and I would appreciate him telling me when he will move so the kids and I can be out of the house. He says he wants the kids there so he can kiss them goodbye......give me a break, he's moving 20 minutes away.
In addition, he says he wants to move his stuff at night so the neighbors don't know what's going on.....WTF???? I said what do you care what the neighbors think, some already know. He asked who knows and then continues to say *"I want to talk to someone after I move to see if it's just me". *What the hell does that mean?? He wants to keep me hanging just in case his bachelor lifestyle doesn't work out? Ummmm nooo!


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

jenny you will feel ten times better once he's gone, believe me. Him being around is what is stopping you from being able to take control of your life. He's very passive aggressive and this is a frustration in itself

my stbxh is exactly the same - getting a nice flat to show off with no thought of whether he can actually afford it, buying everything from new when I said he could take whatever he wanted out of the house, then complaining because he 'had to buy everything'

I used to put up with his juvenile temper tantrums but now I don't have to - all I have to care about is me and D and it is the best feeling in the world

I hope you find some peace once he's gone x


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