# What are the most common ways Women Abuse men?



## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

In your opinion


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Don't know.

Why do you ask?


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

I think it is something folks rarely ask, so Im asking.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

He's already posted several threads asking random questions with no real purpose.

To the OP this site is for people looking for marriage advice.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Probably very similar to the ways that men abuse women.

Isolating them from friends and family
Constant put downs
Name calling
Constant criticism
Ridicule
The silent treatment
Controlling / abusing the family finances
Stealing from them
Withholding love and affection
Destroying their belongings
Sabotaging their work
Physical assault


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

Mavash. said:


> He's already posted several threads asking random questions with no real purpose.


Discussion is a real purpose is it not?
and Ive posted 3 threads thank you

the other I am comparing advice that 2 people in a relationship/marriage would receive. And seeing if anyone who has also sought advice has seen the same. Feel free to participate and offer your opinion.


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

1. Using sex as 'leverage' against their partner.

2. Irrational thought based on EMOTIONS rather than facts to substantiate their position.

3. "Cake eaters"

4. Expecting that their spouse/bf can read their minds and when they can't or don't get it exactly right, claim/feel that they're unloved.

5. Gaslighting

6. Refusing to acknowledge their role in a fight or disagreement

7. "If Momma ain't happy, NOBODY's going to be happy!"

8. Placing the role of their happiness completely on the shoulders of their husband.


Man, there's so many more. These were just a few of the things my exW put me through.


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> Probably very similar to the ways that men abuse women.
> 
> Isolating them from friends and family
> Constant put downs
> ...


Thank you for answering

I do think there are probably some distinct differences that may stand out, just as with men

IE men tend to pervade more "active" methods of abuse in relationships. Im thinking physical abuse from woman to man is much less common than say destroying belongs etc. 

Im curious why this isnt discussed more often though. A lot of men dont really share a lot about this


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Men deeply need *RESPECT* from their women........it all starts there, and snowballs... everything Cosmos listed started as a seed of *dis*respect. 








Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs: 











> Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

DjangoJr said:


> Thank you for answering
> 
> I do think there are probably some distinct differences that may stand out, just as with men
> 
> IE men tend to pervade more "active" methods of abuse in relationships.


Probably. The more active methods usually only come into play, though, when a 'sound' cycle of abuse has been established and the abuser feels secure that the victim is unlikely to try to escape. Until then, I'd say the emotional forms of abuse are likely to be very similar.


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

Dreald said:


> 1. Using sex as 'leverage' against their partner.
> 
> 2. Irrational thought based on EMOTIONS rather than facts to substantiate their position.
> 
> ...


Thank you for answering..
what on earth is gaslighting?


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Men deeply need *RESPECT* from their women........it all starts there, and snowballs... everything Cosmos listed started as a seed of *dis*respect.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Thank you! 

I like that perspective. I think both really value respect, but I do think there are some different dynamics too...


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> Probably. The more active methods usually only come into play, though, when a 'sound' cycle of abuse has been established and the abuser feels secure that the victim is unlikely to try to escape. Until then, I'd say the emotional forms of abuse are likely to be very similar.


I feel emotional abuse can be very active as well.
Being derogatory, vocal (yet still violent) etc. Speaking to harm


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

DjangoJr said:


> Thank you for answering..
> what on earth is gaslighting?


Gaslighting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

Dreald said:


> Gaslighting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


wow that is some foul stuff


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I would say emotional and verbal.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Women often abuse men financially

overspending
spending to placate emotional needs
gold-digging
measuring men by their incomes


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Women often abuse men financially
> 
> overspending
> spending to placate emotional needs
> ...



SO true! Which is why *some* women are provided all the financial comforts of a man who works 60+ hours a week and then have an extra-marital affair because their "needs" aren't met because he's too busy trying to make her happy with the 3,000 sf house, gardener, fancy vacations, expensive jewelry, nanny, etc. 

I'm not trying to paint ALL women this way, but it seems there's a growing 'entitlement' mentality that women seem to believe their life should be like a Sex in the City episode. 

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?" - YouTube

P.S. And it's not just limited to women -- men seem to have this mentality as well!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2257715/Study-shows-college-students-think-theyre-special--read-write-barely-study.html


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

Good post Dreald


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Abuse isn't gender specific.

The big differences are that there is a stigma for abused men, there are not many (if any) shelters for them to go to, a lack of support with family & friends, etc.


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## DjangoJr (Jan 8, 2013)

I venture to say that the stigma is fodder for the abuser. Even exploited. Exploiting stigmas is very typical in verbal abuse...

"You're fat No man will ever want you but me"

"What are you gonna tell your friends? That I'm abusing you? Be a man for once"


there is a lot there. plenty of stigma to go around for sure.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Letting a man believe a child is his, then during a break up/divorce telling him the truth and then refusing to let him see the child. Not telling a man that he has a child and then years later springing it on him and asking for back child support.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> Letting a man believe a child is his, then during a break up/divorce telling him the truth and then refusing to let him see the child.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

That's right up there, IMO. Also, women who pretend they're on BC in order to get a man to father their child.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Dreald said:


> 2. Irrational thought based on EMOTIONS rather than facts to substantiate their position.


Speaking from the perspective of a heterosexual male, I think this is the most common and frustrating. You can't be reasonable because the woman may not want to be reasonable. I don't want to feel like I am dealing with a child with a temper tantrum. Whenever it's over she will feel it's pointless to talk about it because she's in a better mood and doesn't understand why you want to bring that up. If continue to bring it up just to try to avoid such landmines in the future she may feel you are attempting to cause an argument. You can't win. But at the same time when a women is feeling good sometimes her love and passion can be so spontaneous it's magnetic. So I don't know. I don't know if I could be with someone and be wondering if we have something serious to talk about if they could be rational or not.


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

By far "Silent Treatment" is the most pervassive.
I don't know where it measures for men in degree and severity to that of other forms of abuse women dish out....but Silent Treatment is most certainly one of the most common types of abuse by women


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

StoneAngel said:


> By far "Silent Treatment" is the most pervassive.
> I don't know where it measures for men in degree and severity to that of other forms of abuse women dish out....but Silent Treatment is most certainly one of the most common types of abuse by women


Correction. It is one of the most common types of abuse by abusers.


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> Correction. It is one of the most common types of abuse by abusers.


Point taken.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Trenton said:


> Having a man raise a baby that is not their own and knowing it...that to me is the worst abuse a woman can do to a man besides physically murdering them or something. Whatever woman is willing to do that, should get life in prison.


Ha ha!

If that was a law then LOTS of women down here would be in prison....

I know lots of men raising kids that aren't their own.
I know some men who were thrown in jail for not paying child maintenance money_ for kids that were not their own_.....
Its a " cultural joke " down here.


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## janefw (Jun 26, 2012)

Emerald said:


> Abuse isn't gender specific.
> 
> The big differences are that there is a stigma for abused men, there are not many (if any) *shelters *for them to go to, a lack of support with family & friends, etc.


No it's not gender specific, and every example of "female" abuse given on this thread is also done by men - especially gaslighting, which is typically male, not female. 

Also, a man can't go to a shelter because a woman "abused" him by "being emotional" any more than a woman can go to a shelter for the same reason.


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## mothugsta (Feb 22, 2013)

Dreald said:


> 1. Using sex as 'leverage' against their partner.
> 
> 2. Irrational thought based on EMOTIONS rather than facts to substantiate their position.
> 
> ...



WHOA. Seeing it written down kindof opened my eyes to a lot of how my gal acts, and reacts with me. She's very good at passing blame, and turning things around.... Please, by all means, keep giving examples.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

diwali123 said:


> Letting a man believe a child is his, then during a break up/divorce telling him the truth and then refusing to let him see the child. Not telling a man that he has a child and then years later springing it on him and asking for back child support.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The most vile abuse women perpetrate on men is the manipulation of our reproductive systems.

Men have little control in this area and it's probably the most vile common abuse of woman on man.

I bet you'll have a hard time finding a man over 30 who hasn't had some woman he slept with use pregnancy, BC, paternity against him.


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