# He came back with a vengence!



## phillybrokenheart

So I posted earlier about how good it felt to finally tell my STBX to go to hell.

Well, he came back with a vengence. Sent me a text saying that he was now going to take me to court to get any equity in my PARENTS home.

This is AWFUL!!!!

My parents last home was in my name (long story) but it was THEIR house. Thanks to my first divorce, they lost it. So when that divorce was over, I bought a duplex, my parents lived on the first floor and me and my daughter lived on the second floor.

It took me three years to get my finances in order to finally get my parents a real house again. I bought a them a home, and I rent another home for me and my daughter. (I wasnt able to purchase 2 homes and just wanted to get them squared away first) I pay both the mortgage for them and my rent!

The house that they live in is in MY NAME. But its their house! dejavu! OMG! So now, he is threating to take me to court to get "his share" of the equity from it. And by law, he has the right to do that!

I am freakiing out all over again!

I can not believe this! I can not believe I am going to be right back where I was in 2006 when my divorce was finally over with my first husband!


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## that_girl

I feel it's a bluff. Don't get on his ride.

Sorry you're going through this, but he is truly showing who he really is. And he's a POS.


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## EleGirl

Well you have been paying the payments on the house with community income right? So yes he does have the right to half of the increase in equity since you married him.

However the housing market it not all that good is it? How long were you married to him? How much equity do you think is in the house now? There might now be any regardless of how much you have paid into it.


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## bandit.45

Talk to a lawyer. I also think think he's bullying you. 

If you and your parents were on the title, he would also have to have been named as a tenant in common or joint tenant on the title to have a claim to it. 

And just because he is your husband, does not mean he automatically any community property rights to the property. It varies from state to state what CP laws cover.

Yeah, talk to your lawyer.


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## phillybrokenheart

EleGirl said:


> Well you have been paying the payments on the house with community income right? So yes he does have the right to half of the increase in equity since you married him.
> 
> However the housing market it not all that good is it? How long were you married to him? How much equity do you think is in the house now? There might now be any regardless of how much you have paid into it.


No, he barely made enough money to help me pay OUR bills. My parents house was my debt and I paid it.

We were together for 18 months but ONLY legally married for 6 months and 4 days before I asked him to leave.

I still owe $136K and if the house was appraised in todays market, it would probably only be worth around $140K IF that!


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## phillybrokenheart

that_girl said:


> I feel it's a bluff. Don't get on his ride.
> 
> Sorry you're going through this, but he is truly showing who he really is. And he's a POS.


I really hope it is a bluff! My parents have been through enough! 

He is a POS! But Im actually feeling so scared right now to do anything! It seems like the more I try to get away from him the worse he gets with being spiteful!

This really busted my good spirits! Its sucks!


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## phillybrokenheart

bandit.45 said:


> Talk to a lawyer. I also think think he's bullying you.
> 
> If you and your parents were on the title, he would also have to have been named as a tenant in common or joint tenant on the title to have a claim to it.
> 
> And just because he is your husband, does not mean he automatically any community property rights to the property. It varies from state to state what CP laws cover.
> 
> Yeah, talk to your lawyer.


I sent my old divorce attorney an email tonight. Hopefully he will have good news. STBX's name was never on the title.


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## phillybrokenheart

He just sent me a text! I am actually afraid to answer - afraid not to answer! I dont know what to do.

He wants to come and get the weight bench! He already said he didnt want that! OMG, I cant take this!


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## karole

Why don't you quit claim your parents 1/2 interest in the house?


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## ferndog

my only advice to you is marriage is till death do us part. now you're going through a second divorce. Maybe slow down and see who you are marrying. they maybe A holes but then again your the one picking them. Just remember even in baseball 3 strikes and your out so try to make the next one the real thing. or you'll be like larry king. btw he is an A hole if he fights you for thaty house and good to get rid of him just chose wiser


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## phillybrokenheart

karole said:


> Why don't you quit claim your parents 1/2 interest in the house?


I dont know what that means


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## phillybrokenheart

ferndog said:


> my only advice to you is marriage is till death do us part. now you're going through a second divorce. Maybe slow down and see who you are marrying. they maybe A holes but then again your the one picking them. Just remember even in baseball 3 strikes and your out so try to make the next one the real thing. or you'll be like larry king. btw he is an A hole if he fights you for thaty house and good to get rid of him just chose wiser


I completely agree with you that this lies with me. I am in counseling and facing co-dependency issues to stop this pattern from happening. 

I did wait 3 years to get involved at all in a new relationship after my 1st divorce, and swore that I woudl not get married again, but went against what I said and wound up with this POS!

I can promise you there will NOT BE A NEXT TIME!


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## that_girl

Don't answer his text. He's using anything and everything to get to you and to see you. The more you pull away, HE WILL GET ANGRY and want to control the situation.

Just don't answer. if he shows up, don't answer. You have the power. If he throws a fit, call the cops.


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## phillybrokenheart

that_girl said:


> Don't answer his text. He's using anything and everything to get to you and to see you. The more you pull away, HE WILL GET ANGRY and want to control the situation.
> 
> Just don't answer. if he shows up, don't answer. You have the power. If he throws a fit, call the cops.[/QUOT
> 
> Ok, thats what I'll do.
> Thanks


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## copingdad

:/ ........ Hang in there Philly, your doing the right thing. You have to persevere through this to once again find the happiness and light at the end of the tunnel. It's there for you. And yes, do not reply to text, threats or anything else. Don't give him the power. No contact as much as possible. Good luck 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CLucas976

so wait, did you have the house before the marriage?

Anything from before the marriage (debts etc) at least in NY is NOT considered marital property. 

the house might fall into that category if it was yours before he was in the picture..


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## phillybrokenheart

@ CLucas976 - PA is not the same. I knew I should have moved to NY, lol.

But I feel better! I got an email from my attorney this morning. He said that he is only entitled to half of any INCREASE in the equity from date of marriage to date of separation. Which was only 6 months, AND property values in the City have decreased! So his amount is going to be half of ZERO!

He is supposedly coming around here today/tonight. He sent me a text late last night saything "This is how its going down, and thats all thats to it, Im coming around there tomorrow and getting my weight bench and whatever else I have!"

The only thing left is the weight bench. But today will not work for me, so he can knock all he wants to.

As long as I know he cant hurt my parents, then I dont care what he does or says.

I'll tell you tho, this has really been a hurtful eye opener! Someone who claimed to love me soooo much - all those nasty things he said yesterday, all thats he has done in the past 4 months, and then what he threatened about taking me to court to go after my parents house!!! Im beside myself! This is what kind of love he had for me. And I really did love him. I really really did.


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## Cherry

phillybrokenheart said:


> @ CLucas976 - PA is not the same. I knew I should have moved to NY, lol.
> 
> But I feel better! I got an email from my attorney this morning. He said that he is only entitled to half of any INCREASE in the equity from date of marriage to date of separation. Which was only 6 months, AND property values in the City have decreased! So his amount is going to be half of ZERO!
> 
> He is supposedly coming around here today/tonight. He sent me a text late last night saything "This is how its going down, and thats all thats to it, Im coming around there tomorrow and getting my weight bench and whatever else I have!"
> 
> The only thing left is the weight bench. But today will not work for me, so he can knock all he wants to.
> 
> As long as I know he cant hurt my parents, then I dont care what he does or says.
> 
> I'll tell you tho, this has really been a hurtful eye opener! Someone who claimed to love me soooo much - all those nasty things he said yesterday, all thats he has done in the past 4 months, and then what he threatened about taking me to court to go after my parents house!!! Im beside myself! This is what kind of love he had for me. And I really did love him. I really really did.


I'm happy you heard from your attorney  I'm sure that eases your struggles.

You need to be done with this chapter of your life Philly. No doubt you loved him, and he no longer deserves your love and affection and he's proving that now. 

Keep on keeping on


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## CLucas976

phillybrokenheart said:


> @ CLucas976 - PA is not the same. I knew I should have moved to NY, lol.
> 
> But I feel better! I got an email from my attorney this morning. He said that he is only entitled to half of any INCREASE in the equity from date of marriage to date of separation. Which was only 6 months, AND property values in the City have decreased! So his amount is going to be half of ZERO!
> 
> He is supposedly coming around here today/tonight. He sent me a text late last night saything "This is how its going down, and thats all thats to it, Im coming around there tomorrow and getting my weight bench and whatever else I have!"
> 
> The only thing left is the weight bench. But today will not work for me, so he can knock all he wants to.
> 
> As long as I know he cant hurt my parents, then I dont care what he does or says.
> 
> I'll tell you tho, this has really been a hurtful eye opener! Someone who claimed to love me soooo much - all those nasty things he said yesterday, all thats he has done in the past 4 months, and then what he threatened about taking me to court to go after my parents house!!! Im beside myself! This is what kind of love he had for me. And I really did love him. I really really did.


Isn't it amazing what "love" does to someone? You love me and yet you told the whole county and your parents that I'm a fat ***** who cheats on you? (which never happened. I have such terrible self image that even the idea of trying to flirt with another guy sends me into an anxiety attack, and we've been apart for over a year now) pasted your twisted version of our dirty laundry all over my workplace, and invited a pregnant girl to live with you?

Once it's far enough in the past, it's kind of funny really. You will find yourself laughing at how incredibly stupid and false the behaviors you're currently putting up with really are, and wondering how on earth they bothered you so much.

Glad that he gets nothing from his threat even if he did go through with it. If I were you I'd put the work bench outside and leave it for him. keep it together lady, theres at least less stressful men out there


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## Tap1214

Philly: Just note that all the nasty things your H is saying, is a way for him to lash out, to hurt you. Because he can't control you anymore! 
And the weight bench that he wants to pick up? Don't waste your time, just tell him you will put it outside and he could pick it up anytime. Don't engage and stop responding to his text / messages.
Hang in there ...it will get better!


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## ferndog

When my wife used my love to get me out of the house by saying "if you love me you will give me some space, go to your dad's house for 2 weeks and I promise we'll be ok". three days later I got an email that she wanted a divorce. Instead of lashing out to her I called and asked what happened. everytime she would just hang up on me. so instead of getting mad I decided to look at why she would do this. slowly I realized my mistakes and decided to fix them. She has a house under both our names. (she pays all the mortgage which is part of why she left me I feel). along with other issues I have. but I once told her that I would be different than most. I would show her love in these hard times. Instead of name calling or having anger and trying to hurt her, I would respect her decisions and try to work on myself. so long story short. I would never fight for her house. my dad raised me correct and I would not ever hurt my beautiful princess like that. I've realized that I love is priceless and in times some choose to hurt the ones they cared for. but I decided I hurt her enough with my depression and it's time to grow as a person. I guess your husband has decided to go with anger instead of love. you hurt him and instead of healing he decided to hurt you back. stay strong


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## phillybrokenheart

ferndog said:


> When my wife used my love to get me out of the house by saying "if you love me you will give me some space, go to your dad's house for 2 weeks and I promise we'll be ok". three days later I got an email that she wanted a divorce. Instead of lashing out to her I called and asked what happened. everytime she would just hang up on me. so instead of getting mad I decided to look at why she would do this. slowly I realized my mistakes and decided to fix them. She has a house under both our names. (she pays all the mortgage which is part of why she left me I feel). along with other issues I have. but I once told her that I would be different than most. I would show her love in these hard times. Instead of name calling or having anger and trying to hurt her, I would respect her decisions and try to work on myself. so long story short. I would never fight for her house. my dad raised me correct and I would not ever hurt my beautiful princess like that. I've realized that I love is priceless and in times some choose to hurt the ones they cared for. but I decided I hurt her enough with my depression and it's time to grow as a person. I guess your husband has decided to go with anger instead of love. you hurt him and instead of healing he decided to hurt you back. stay strong


Thanks Ferndog. I have read your post, and I am sorry for what you are goign through. I can see how much you truly love your wife. I hope that you get the help you need to work on your own issues, I know what you are going through. In the end, you need to do what you have to for YOU but who knows what the outcome will be once your wife sees that you stood up and took control of what you needed. I can tell you, it would have made a WORLD of difference to me with my husband! Best of luck to you! Hug!!!


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## ferndog

phillybrokenheart said:


> Thanks Ferndog. I have read your post, and I am sorry for what you are goign through. I can see how much you truly love your wife. I hope that you get the help you need to work on your own issues, I know what you are going through. In the end, you need to do what you have to for YOU but who knows what the outcome will be once your wife sees that you stood up and took control of what you needed. I can tell you, it would have made a WORLD of difference to me with my husband! Best of luck to you! Hug!!![/QUOT


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## endlessgrief

I pray he is only bluffing. It's amazing how the ones we once loved can turn and be so evil.

From now on, just date.


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## Jade68

Hi Philly
I had to consult an attorney- it was the only way to survive-maybe it may be wise to seek one just to know your rights and options


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## ChelseaBlue

phillybrokenheart said:


> I got an email from my attorney this morning. He said that he is only entitled to half of any INCREASE in the equity from date of marriage to date of separation. Which was only 6 months, AND property values in the City have decreased! So his amount is going to be half of ZERO!


If he is entitled to half of any increase in the equity of the house, is he also responsible for half of the loss in equity? Call his bluff and let him know you will sue him for half the loss in value. What's good for the goose is good for the gander!


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## strugglinghusband

ChelseaBlue said:


> If he is entitled to half of any increase in the equity of the house, is he also responsible for half of the loss in equity? Call his bluff and let him know you will sue him for half the loss in value. What's good for the goose is good for the gander!


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

You beat me to it.


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