# Is This The End?



## unreal (Mar 12, 2011)

Hi,

Been considering and mentioned divorce a couple of times over the past year but the wife seems everything is hunka dorie and I don't have a clue what divorce is or the concequences. 

There are hundreds of reasons we have differences some of which are my fault due to the economy and health which are beyond my control. 

The biggest factor is that I do care about her and respect her as a human being, but I do not love her nor has it developed after our honeymoon we have had like 80% fights and 20% enjoyment. We don't have sex as we work most of the time and away from each other a lot she still insists to work more for a better future I disagree and say work smarter. 

We cannot sit down and talk without going up in arms and arguing and the conversation goes from calm to erruption. 

So, if no love there is their any point in continuing the marriage we have no kids thank god.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

How long have you been married? At one point you loved each other,what happened?


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Also I would like to add have you all had counseling? Divorce should always be a last option.. I mean at one point you all loved each other enough to get married.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

We need more details.


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## unreal (Mar 12, 2011)

We have been married for 3 years. I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe love develops over time through life’s struggles. We had counseling it was the worst thing she ever done rather than resolving issues she exposed every single fault under the sun and made a big issue about it I will never get counsel again ever. 

I got married too quickly. I had a urge to be more happy in life with someone, but I didn't know nor did anyone tell me that a kid is required within the 12 months and your expected to have your own place regardless of how you’re getting on with your wife its deemed unacceptable by others. Also, if men can provide 90% of the time and not 10% of the time due to no one giving this man a job or a health issue preventing him doing a duty of job its deemed as unacceptable by others who expect men not to show a single ounce of weakness. It makes me feel like we men are viewed like robots.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

So... you haven't had a job in 3 years?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

unreal said:


> I got married too quickly. I had a urge to be more happy in life with someone


Unfortunately, as you've read on these forums, a lot of people discover they are far unhappier with someone in their lives than they would be alone. Nobody can give us a happier life. Happiness is an inside job.



unreal said:


> I didn't know nor did anyone tell me that a kid is required within the 12 months and your expected to have your own place regardless of how you’re getting on with your wife its deemed unacceptable by others.


Lots of couples don't have childen the first 12 months, nor do they purchase a home. I assume you are saying this in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek (sarcastic) manner. If your wife told you this was the way it is supposed to be, she's talking b.s. You are in a relationship that doesn't sound like it's fulfilling you at all. 

Since you don't want counseling, and you cannot discuss issues without a fight, it sounds like the only thing you can do is leave the marriage. From the sounds of it, you had a crummy counselor. A good counselor doesn't let one client slam the other with a litany of complaints. 

One bad experience can sour a person on ever going to counseling again. If you don't see that there is anything left to salvage, then the ball is in your court to break up, unless your wife decides to exit first.


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