# Help i want this to stop



## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

My wife and I have been married for 15yrs. We have two wonderful boys 5 and 9. We had a wonderful marriage for a very long time. SHe says that starting 5 years ago that all changed and that she kept me "blissfully ignorant". She told me all of her complaints. I have put in 600 percent effort to make sure all of her needs have been met. I am willing to work at this.
She has been on SSRIs for about a month and going to counselling. I have had what appeared to be an anxiety attack about a week ago and was perscribed SSRI. We have been going to counselling seperately. She will not entertain going together.
At one time we had a wonderful marriage. We were happy. We were in love. Last night she told me that she wanted to know "how much longer do we keep this up?" I had nothing to say. She has stated that she has "checked out". She does not want to work at our marriage and try and fix things. I am willing to work on things.
I don't know what has happened or where it went wrong. I am a loving caring husband. I have a great job, I have been told that I am fun to be with. I will never cheat, lie or steal. I am a great person. My wife is a great person.
In our discussion last night I told her I would not stop her. I have always given her everything she ever wanted. The problem is; i don't want to lose her and destroy our family.

Does anyone have any advice? Can I save my marriage? Or should I reside myself to getting divorced and fight for custody?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm so very sorry. It's not you that did anything wrong, it's her. Someone here will give you great advice. I wish you the best!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So what were her complaints? Were they valid? How long has it been since she raised them? What reason does she give for not wanting joint counseling?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I feel like a real POS for even bringing this up but have you noticed any changes in her behavior?

Does she text a lot? On the phone a lot? Buying new (sexier) clothes?


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## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

Are you her best friend? I am happy to wrote that you are a great dad, and husband with a good job blah blah blah.

But are you her BEST friend?

Where you ever?  Did things change? 

You can not be a true life long partner if you are not best friends, sure, you can muddle thru for decades raise a family etc, but for it to really work, I mean truely work, you have to be friends. Best friends.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I'm sorry, but if you had truly been putting in 600%, she wouldn't have been hiding her unhappiness for five years.

Talk to her. No, scratch that. Listen. Make her talk to you, and really listen to what she says.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

H2OK9 said:


> I am a loving caring husband. I have a great job, I have been told that I am fun to be with. I will never cheat, lie or steal. I am a great person.


I suspect if that were so, you would not be here exclaiming it from the rooftops. I'm not trying to say you are a terrible person. I'm saying you shouldn't think so much of yourself because by doing so, you directly and outright dismiss her concerns and complaints. She told you all of her complaints, and your response (your way of thinking) is "_I have put in 600 percent effort to make sure all of her needs have been met. _" How do you think that is helpful?




H2OK9 said:


> In our discussion last night I told her I would not stop her.


That is very big of you. Just how might you go about stopping her if you wanted to? Also, she may, as I do, see that as a rather flippant response. If that is your usual attitude and MO, perhaps you can now see why she wants to leave.

In attempt to save your marriage, ask her to attend marriage counseling with you. If she refuses, you should still go alone. It will help you, and it will help her to see you making an effort.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

This is an update on our situation. We went to counselling one time. I asked her to go with me and she agreed but was reluctant. We went and it was ok; I would not say good as the counseller was absolutly silent through the entire hour and a half. I heard multiple things that I did not understand such as; "its your money" and "I am overwhelmed". 
Now I can completely understand the overwhelmed statement. That makes total and complete sense. Things can build up after awhile and without release there will be increasing pressure. The "your money" was completely off base. I don't even track our finances as she has always done well with them. I hand her my pay checks and get gas when I need it. Other than that she does everything and I question nothing and I ask for nothing. Last year she wanted to see her family and I supported her. She went for a total of 3 weeks. No issue for me I trust her completely. I always have.
Well last week she asked for divorce again. I told myself that if she asked three times I would not put up a fight. (this is what I meant about stopping her). We signed the papers on Monday last week. There is a 30 day cool off period but, its essentially over.
I have had two conversations with her since then. I have told her that I cannot give up on her. She has been the love of my life for 15yrs. I will not give up it is not something I can do.
Now though even though we have agreed and have a settlement she is asking me for money for this and money for that. I support her of course but, I am starting to feel like that is the wrong thing to do. I will take care of my boys for ever but, if she really wants this to finalize should I keep giving her cash everytime she calls? That does not seem right at all.
I am still trying to talk to her and let her see what she is giving up but, she seems to have no emotion about anything. Her dad is very ill and she did not even cry or show emotion when he left.
She has also looked right at our 5yr old and said "don't think I wont pack my stuff and leave you. That is what I want to do anyway." When that was said I stopped her in her tracks and told her that was "the most cruel thing I had ever heard spoken to a child. What is wrong?" She clammed up and did not speak to me again for a day.
I love her so much. There seems to be something very wrong and I don't know if it is me, the family, or what. I keep hoping that she will wake up one day and say "wow what is going on" but, she seems to not even care.
WHAT DO I DO TO PROVE TO HER THAT SHE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD AND THAT SHE IS LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY?!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

She does have a very serious problem--that truly is incredibly cruel, and *very* damaging. it's also very revealing that something is really, really wrong with her.

Was she abandoned or somehow abused in her childhood? Her sense of being overwhelmed, and her disconnecting, etc., could point to some past trauma she may not even be aware of. 

Just ask her flat out what she is so ready to run from--ask her if she was abused in some way, or felt abandoned by her mom or dad. Be very explicit in your words and you *might* trigger a reaction that will open the flood gates. That would be a long, tough, but beautiful road to recovery.

Let her know you are there to help emotionally--but not financially. She needs to stand on her own two feet beyond the terms of the settlement. And please get you son into counseling, immediately. God knows what she has said, or may say, to him when you are not around. He's going to need a lot of help. I'm so sorry the two of you will have this pain. And, as hard as it will be to do, remember that he needs his mom in his life even if it is only supervised visits (so she cannot say such hurtful things to him). Protect him but recognize that maternal abandonment is an awful, scarring thing, no matter how bad the mom. paternal abandonement can be, too, but moms are usually the primary care giver.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I missed earlier posts; sorry. She is a Walk Away Wife; look it up. But her comment to your son still needs attention--a "simple" case of WAW wouldn't say that; she'd be desperate to keep the kids because she's stayed 'way longer than she wanted to out of love for them.


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## CelticmanInGermany (Jul 8, 2012)

It sounds to me like she is having an affair and is too cowardly to tell you herself - it happens all the time - go and see a solicitor and start making arrangements for a divorce and for custody of the children. I wish you all the best.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

H2,

You MUST STOP being her ATM.

You have given her what she wanted now she needs to learn how to live within her means.

I know you've probably read this her before but STOP BEGGING! This is unattrative and will only push her further away.

Do the 180 and tell her she is not to contact you except for matters relating to the kids. Keep all calls/texts/emails short and business like. Don't get sucked into the "how was your day" crap


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

She has someone already. Probably had him on the family vacation. It's almost guaranteed based on her actions. You have to start questioning your blind trust since she's acting irrationally. If she initiated the divorce then she should not be depending on you for anything but the kids. Don't chase her and start removing yourself from her emotional world.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

I want to thank you all for your advice. I will say that it is easier to think about than do. As I said in my earlier posts she has been my entire world for 15 yrs.
Some of my friends who know what is going on have said the samething you all have. I guess I should start to listen. Not easy at all. 
I have had the thought that she is wanting someone else. It came up in the conversation the night she moved out. I went to town to pick up somethings and came home and she was gone with the kids. I have bent over backwards and have gotten nothing for my effort. I love my family, my boys, and what used to be my wife. She does not act the same as she used to. I can't believe the rollercoaster ride I have been on. 
I want to say one thing about marriage counselling; I have a bad taste in my mouth from our visit. Our counseller was pitiful. Are they not supposed to try and interject and help or do they sit thier and watch a couple beat themselves up and self destruct?! Pitiful. 
I appreciate all the advice and support from everyone.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

Thanks I guess I need to stop giving her everything she asks for and live by the court order.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Yes! Yes! Yes!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

H2OK9 said:


> I want to thank you all for your advice. I will say that it is easier to think about than do. As I said in my earlier posts she has been my entire world for 15 yrs.
> Some of my friends who know what is going on have said the samething you all have. I guess I should start to listen. Not easy at all.
> I have had the thought that she is wanting someone else. It came up in the conversation the night she moved out. I went to town to pick up somethings and came home and she was gone with the kids. I have bent over backwards and have gotten nothing for my effort. I love my family, my boys, and what used to be my wife. She does not act the same as she used to. I can't believe the rollercoaster ride I have been on.
> I want to say one thing about marriage counselling; I have a bad taste in my mouth from our visit. Our counseller was pitiful. Are they not supposed to try and interject and help or do they sit thier and watch a couple beat themselves up and self destruct?! Pitiful.
> I appreciate all the advice and support from everyone.


Hmm, hard to say. I'd call and ask the counselor why s/he didn't offer more suggestions (or whatever). It could be that there was a dynamic between you that was difficult for the counselor to figure out. Or it could be a crummy counselor. But make the call just to talk to the person about how they work with couples and what you observed and how that didn't seem helpful to you. Good luck.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

Alright. I read about the Walk Away Wife Syn. it was enlightening. It was as if she had written it herself. All of the conversations that we had were in the articles. It was amazing. Sad but, amazing.
So now I wonder what to do? I have stopped being her ATM. I have some money that is due her or should I say that I feel is due her and will pay it on Friday. After that the nickle and dime stuff is over except if it pertains to my boys.
I spoke to her today and she seemed very down again. It was a short conversation but, she seemed to be down. Or maybe I am projecting. It is so hard to tell anymore. I have contiuned on with counselling and I have sort of come to grips that my marriage is more than likely over. I still love her and if she pulled up right now and said I want to come back I would open the door and give her a hug. On the other hand I need to start living and stop feeling sorry for myself.
She is a wonderful woman or was. I would do anything for her but, living in termoil is not something I will choose to do. My kids are my greatest concern but I will not fight for custody as I do not want them drug throught the nastiness. I care about them way too much to put them through that.
If anyone can give any advice on how to turn her from a run away wife to a run home wife I would love to hear it. Or if I am having a pipe dream about her coming back someone slap me. I truely love her and my boys. All I want is my family to be back and better than it ever was.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

I am still getting used to this web site. I want to respond to something that was asked.
No my wife was not abused.
Yes she had a divorced family.
She did not talk to her dad from age 7 to age 17. Thy are very close now.
I do believe that there is something wrong and believe me I have done some self assessments and talked to others. Even my Mother in Law and Father in Law do not understand and think that this is a mistake.
No one knows. Honestly I don't think she knows. Frustrating, hurtful, and my boys are taking this very hard and it breaks my heart to see them like this. I will survive but, they are going to be damaged emotionally for the rest of their lives. I try and keep a light mood around them and I will not speak cross about her to them ever. It is not in my nature to be mean spirited to her about anything. She is their mom and they need to respect her. 
I miss my family terribly.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

H2,

Work on yourself now. Reflect on your faults or perhaps the ones that your wife always pointed out in you. Become a better man but not for your wife....do it for you.

Also, have you read the 180 and are you using it? It will help prepare you for what comes next in your life.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

No I have not read 180. I will look for it today though. This has been terrible and I am very upset to say the least but, I do know that I will come through this. I have done some self assessment in reference to my wife's complaints. She was mostly right. I was but, was not who I was. All of this has changed that.
My focus now is on my boys and on myself. I am going to be a "fun" person and not work all the time. I am going to take trips and see things. I am going to laugh.
She is and always will be my wife in my eyes. She chose this I did not. I will do anything for her. Although I say that about her I can also say this; I am not in limbo either. This may suck but, I am going to make the absolute best out of it.


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## needinghonesty (Jul 15, 2012)

H2OK9 said:


> I want to thank you all for your advice. I will say that it is easier to think about than do. As I said in my earlier posts she has been my entire world for 15 yrs.
> Some of my friends who know what is going on have said the samething you all have. I guess I should start to listen. Not easy at all.
> I have had the thought that she is wanting someone else. It came up in the conversation the night she moved out. I went to town to pick up somethings and came home and she was gone with the kids. I have bent over backwards and have gotten nothing for my effort. I love my family, my boys, and what used to be my wife. She does not act the same as she used to. I can't believe the rollercoaster ride I have been on.
> I want to say one thing about marriage counselling; I have a bad taste in my mouth from our visit. Our counseller was pitiful. Are they not supposed to try and interject and help or do they sit thier and watch a couple beat themselves up and self destruct?! Pitiful.
> I appreciate all the advice and support from everyone.


It IS tuffer to do then say if you have a heart and are a conscious person. You probably never want to hurt anyone. Some people can turn a cheek in a heart beat and never have a problem with being cold and hard and they never understand the soft hearted. I agree, it sounds as if there is someone else brother, I hate to say it. The issue about the counseler, fire them and get someone else. Counselers DO ingage and smack your hand when needed. Thats why they have had all the training. Sounds like yrs is just getting paid. Good luck in all you have to deal with...


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

I have been off this site for sometime now. If anyone is interested I have, over the past months had the gaps filled in for me. Small towns things are hard to hide. 

So my neighbor who is quite a bit older and my wife at the time were have a type of affair. I always wondered why she was always interested in what he was doi g or where he was at. I told her prior to the divorce that this bothered me and she dismissed it. Well a week after the divorce they were together. It really makes no sense at all. So now they parade around my house and flaunt their activities in my face and in plain view of our kids. It's like being beat up everyday. Seeing them together makes my blood boil.

This guy that she is with basically pushed his way into our marriage and convinced her of something. In the end her attitude is soooo different now it breaks my heart. She was such a wonderful and caring person and now she is so apathetic. Additionally physically she has let herself go. She was in great shape. She has put on weight and does not appear to take care of herself physically. I feel so sorry for her.

She continues to insist that everything that has happened is my fault but, I received copies of all text messages (even the deleted ones) and clearly this was a case of emotional infidelity and WAW. I feel bad for her as this relationship she is in is doomed. On top of that my kids are exposed to a quintessential ******* mentality. (Narrow minded and racist) he is not a good person and she knew that until a certain point.

On top of all of that every time she thinks I am seeing someone she swoops back in with nice comments and hey how are yous.i cannot understand the reason for that at all. The last conversation we had I simply asked her to leave me alone. At that point she started using the kids as a tool.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

She sounds a little whack. Do you suspect drugs? I know he's a *******, but I've known some pretty whacked out ********...

Do you still think you love her?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I am sorry things turned out this way, but stop feeling sorry for her. SHE did this to herself, she chose this pathetic existence. I'm sorry your kids have to deal with the ******* bf, but I am pretty sure that will end itself soon enough. If your kids complain enough about him, you can probably work it out to where they dont have to see her.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

doubletrouble said:


> She sounds a little whack. Do you suspect drugs? I know he's a *******, but I've known some pretty whacked out ********...
> 
> Do you still think you love her?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

I do still love her very much. I do not suspect drugs. Although sometimes she acts like it. The person she is with is just of very low quality. Even when we were together I did not associate with him at all as I choose wisely who I befriend. I do not want the boys to not see their mom. I would rather them not see him though. If she was dating anyone else I would be fine but this person is just low.

I would gladly take the boys full time and let her do her own thing. I would even wave any support (medical, cash etc.). I have told her as much.

Right now I cannot enter into a relationship because every time someone is interested in me she interjects. Hot/cold playing games with words. Making me think one thing and then just when things look good she slams the door. For example: we got to a point where I asked her to go on a date. She smiled and said "I don't think Mike would appreciate that" WTH? Why talk to me then? His situation has become very strange and counter productive to healing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

H2OK9 said:


> Right now I cannot enter into a relationship because every time someone is interested in me she interjects. Hot/cold playing games with words. Making me think one thing and then just when things look good she slams the door. For example: we got to a point where I asked her to go on a date. She smiled and said "I don't think Mike would appreciate that" WTH? Why talk to me then? His situation has become very strange and counter productive to healing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


WHY are you allowing her to fvck with you like this?? STOP talking to her! Unless its about your boys, you have NO reason to be speaking with her. Wow, is she ever rotten.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

I have often asked myself the same thing. I related to some sort of hope or addiction. I am going to Counselling and have made effort to not see her or talk to her. I have even put my house up for sale in an effort to make seeing her more difficult. The problem is that a) I still love her and b) we are in a tiny community. It is impossible for me not to see her. 

Although I try to make it seem as though she is not controlling my life she really is and I am very frustrated.

I dated a very nice woman. Attractive, smart, funny, and just cool to be around. The ex found out and called. This woman was over at my house and when she overheard the ex she said she should go. I understand why she left. Being caught in the middle would stink. The ex has done that same thing to me twice. Then posted derogatory remarks on FB. I don't want to play anymore. I am trying to find a job farther away and in a better area but it takes time.

In the meanwhile this sucks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

She messes with you because you won't stand up for yourself. You don't want to hurt her feelings or something like that. If you ever got in her face and told her off like you should, called her a cheating lying wh0re like you should, she might start leaving you alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

No you are right....I don't want to hurt her. I never did or have wanted her to feel bad. I spent half a lifetime with her. It's difficult to confront her although I have.

Make no mistake I have said my piece and been heard. It's time for all of that nonsense to stop. I refuse to live my life in anger but I will not be tormented either. I do what I have to to make sure my children are well cared for, loved and financially stable. This requires I sacrifice. No problem. I just don't like the games.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

H2OK9 said:


> No you are right....I don't want to hurt her. I never did or have wanted her to feel bad. I spent half a lifetime with her. It's difficult to confront her although I have.
> 
> Make no mistake I have said my piece and been heard. It's time for all of that nonsense to stop. I refuse to live my life in anger but I will not be tormented either. I do what I have to to make sure my children are well cared for, loved and financially stable. This requires I sacrifice. No problem. I just don't like the games.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She had no problem hurting you and continuing to hurt you...

Sometimes you have to get nasty with a person to get them to back off. What kind of message are you sending your sons when you let her walk all over you? Think about that Mr. Rogers.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

Well I guess the message I am trying to send is that even though someone may treat you poorly there is still a possibility of treating them with a sense of responsibility and dignity. I am not lowering myself to that level. 

Yes she did hurt us. All of us...the boys and me. Maybe you are right though. Maybe it is time to say ENOUGH.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

By the way...nice Mr. Rogers jab 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FRANC (Mar 2, 2012)

Why on earth would you answer the phone and talk to her in front of a date?

If its important let her leave a message and get back to her.

If its to p on your parade, you are playing the game by her rules.

You need to sort this out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

LostViking said:


> She messes with you because you won't stand up for yourself. You don't want to hurt her feelings or something like that. If you ever got in her face and told her off like you should, called her a cheating lying wh0re like you should, she might start leaving you alone.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's true. Op has to stand up for himself. He lets her disrespect him and humiliate him and then wonders why it continues. People do not respect other who have no respect for themselves. It's up to you to show others how you are to be treated....you have shown her that she can treat you like garbage and destroy your life. 

I don't like to use the term "man up", but in this case you really need to.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

H2OK9 said:


> Well I guess the message I am trying to send is that even though someone may treat you poorly there is still a possibility of treating them with a sense of responsibility and dignity. I am not lowering myself to that level.
> 
> Yes she did hurt us. All of us...the boys and me. Maybe you are right though. Maybe it is time to say ENOUGH.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thats a cop-out. This is not an employee or one of your kids' teachers. This is a wife who betrayed her husband and children and then lied about it. She is getting off the hook. Don't let her. 

Grab your crotch and get in her face the next time she shoots her mouth off. You don't have to cuss or call her names. Throw the truth back at her. The truth is the sharpest blade of all. She cheated, ended the marriage over false pretenses, destroyed her children's home, and is now parading around with the scumbag who helped her do it. 

And keep a chain in your back pocket if the boyfriend decides to jump you.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

I agree with all of you and hearing it is really sort of putting things in perspective.

I will not need a chain to best this guy if he decides to do something foolish. I will not instigate any physical action at all.

This situation will not change unless I change it. I have tried to reconcile and done the best I can for my kids. I am a good dad and was a devoted husband. This behavior from her will not go unchecked any longer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

Oh by the way...my date was the one who said answer it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nix (Jan 23, 2012)

H2OK9 said:


> My wife and I have been married for 15yrs. We have two wonderful boys 5 and 9. We had a wonderful marriage for a very long time. SHe says that starting 5 years ago that all changed and that she kept me "blissfully ignorant". She told me all of her complaints. I have put in 600 percent effort to make sure all of her needs have been met. I am willing to work at this.
> She has been on SSRIs for about a month and going to counselling. I have had what appeared to be an anxiety attack about a week ago and was perscribed SSRI. We have been going to counselling seperately. She will not entertain going together.
> At one time we had a wonderful marriage. We were happy. We were in love. Last night she told me that she wanted to know "how much longer do we keep this up?" I had nothing to say. She has stated that she has "checked out". She does not want to work at our marriage and try and fix things. I am willing to work on things.
> I don't know what has happened or where it went wrong. I am a loving caring husband. I have a great job, I have been told that I am fun to be with. I will never cheat, lie or steal. I am a great person. My wife is a great person.
> ...


I am so sorry that you are going through this. My relationship of 10 years is headed down the same road. I am as devoted to her as I have ever been but for a variety of reasons, over the past few years she has become very unhappy and I suspect, at this point, wants out. It's agonizingly painful. In the end, people sometimes change and we can't predict how, when or why. Life makes no guarantees. I'm thankful that we had many good, loving years together where she treated me like a queen. In my case I do think it's just about time to concede that things are not likely to improve and need to end. In your case, it sounds like your W has made up her mind. If she's unwilling to work with you to save the marriage, there's really nothing you can do.

My partner just turned 40, don't know about yours, but both of us are experiencing classic mid-life crisis behavior from our spouses.


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

Another update. I have been focusing completely on my boys. We have been taking trips, going to events, swimming, fishing and playing sports. It has been wonderful. The ex has tried to interfere a few times but it has been dismissed as a passing breeze. It's been badass.

I still see them together as this turd is my neighbor but it has started to really not bother me at all. I am still angry to a degree but it is less and less. Given a chance I wave at him in passing just to say thank you. I have such a great relationship with my kids now its a true blessing. And on another note (not to sound self centered) I am in shape, and good looking. I have a great career and mobility. He is a 1970's reject with terrible hygiene and no intellect. If this is what she wants good on her. She has also let herself go. To this point she is almost as heavy now as when she had our second son. Sad really.

In short I think this has worked out for the best. They will be happy and content working every weekend with cows, fences and dirt. I will be sipping fruity drinks laughing. I do wish them the best. Everyone deserves to be happy. I am finally happy. No more passive aggressive behavior is tolerated from her. I appreciate all of the insights you guys have given me. It was hard but it just keeps getting easier. I look forward to everyday now. It's fun being me again and being a dad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## H2OK9 (May 27, 2012)

Just an update of the previous situation but, first I would like to thank all of the advice. 

First off I must say that life is great. The boys are doing well and are in great spirits. Certainly nice to see. I am also doing very well. Work has become exciting again, the world has new flavor. I have met someone very special and we have a great time together. The boys have been introduced to her and think she is very nice and pretty. (Oldest has a crush) everything is going very well.

This took a bit but at last I have freedom from the grief and freedom from blame. No more ATM machine, no more worrying about what once was. What once was is just that; I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow. No I'm not on medication. I am enjoying the opportunities that have been presented to me. 

This has truly worked out for the best. I never thought I could feel this way but it is great!!! Thank you all again for the advice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

Awesome! That is an awesome update!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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