# Any Advice



## Flaka (Jan 18, 2021)

*I've been with my mate on/off for years- eventually, we got married 2 years ago. It has always been a bumpy ride, cheating, yelling aggression. What I won't do is blame him for every little thing- I have an unbelievable amount of damaging traits. To put it plainly I'm not perfect and allow my anger to take over rather quickly. He's one of those nice guys who "never knows what he's done" to piss me off. Honestly, I don't think I am attracted to him anymore. I love him enough to never wish harm on him (Which shouldn't be done, begin with) but not in love with him enough to stay. We fight and poof all of a sudden he has amnesia and all is forgotten. There have been days where fights became physical and our property was damaged. We live together but often I would much rather be alone than try and spend time with him. I think he knows that because he too has become the same way. We have sex not so often and I'm okay with that but for a man it's different and I know that. I feel like we grew apart over the years but kept telling ourselves it will get better. I am not happy and I know for a fact he isn't either. The spark has been missing for years. We barely kiss anymore hold on to one another and sometimes the thought of him touching me is just irritating. I feel as if I trapped him in this marriage and I never meant to do that. The one time I got pregnant I wasn't able to keep it because of my body. Should I set him "free" so to speak, I think he deserves a lot better than me.*


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If the marriage is violent and abusive(not sure which of you is violent)then yes. Goodness knows why you got married so recently if things were so bad.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I agree. If the marriage is violent at times, you should get out, get into therapy, get yourself all balanced out, exorcise that anger. It probably is old anger. Get on an even keel where you can support yourself and take care of yourself and be happy by yourself. If you accomplish that, you'll be better suited next time around, if you choose to marry again, that is.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

It sounds like one of those marriages where you are both pretty dishonest. 
For now, ignore his faults, and focus on trying to fix your own faults, because whether you stay or whether you go, either way that work will help you. It's not a good idea to enter a new relationship until you have fixed your faults, so you might as well start working on them now.


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