# ive had a couple of problems which ive posted in here and found the help i got very helpful.



## plastow (Jan 4, 2022)

last weekend my wife and i had a few drinks and just got chatting about things in general when she told me that a guy i chat with on facebook is an old boyfriend of hers.i didnt mind at all she was 15 at the time and just before we met.but because she had had a few drinks decided to tell me he was the guy she had wanked off ,i knew about that she had done this.but a name never came up.i said i bet he has no idea who i am or that your my wife she surprised me by saying he does know because i told him.i then asked why she had been in touch with him and she said he had guessed from some of my posts who she was and contacted her.she then said it was the only time he did so and she didnt want to continue contact with him anyway.i said i wish you had told me and she said it was unimportant.when i back in touch he tried to be surprised but i,m not worried about that really .i then asked her if she had had full sex with him as she always said she was a virgin when she met me.she said she did not have intercourse with him and i believe her.then out of the blue she said i only ever kissed one guy who made my tummy flutter and i asked her what that means and she said it made me horny.but she said it didnt go any further than kissing.i asked her did you feel like that when i kissed you and she said no.now i,m hurt and wish she had not told me anything about it as when they kissed it would have been impossible for it to go any further and i keep thinking if it had such an effect on her would she have had full intercourse with him she wont say.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

plastow said:


> last weekend my wife and i had a few drinks and just got chatting about things in general when she told me that a guy i chat with on facebook is an old boyfriend of hers.i didnt mind at all she was 15 at the time and just before we met.but because she had had a few drinks decided to tell me he was the guy she had wanked off ,i knew about that she had done this.but a name never came up.i said i bet he has no idea who i am or that your my wife she surprised me by saying he does know because i told him.i then asked why she had been in touch with him and she said he had guessed from some of my posts who she was and contacted her.she then said it was the only time he did so and she didnt want to continue contact with him anyway.i said i wish you had told me and she said it was unimportant.when i back in touch he tried to be surprised but i,m not worried about that really .i then asked her if she had had full sex with him as she always said she was a virgin when she met me.she said she did not have intercourse with him and i believe her.then out of the blue she said i only ever kissed one guy who made my tummy flutter and i asked her what that means and she said it made me horny.but she said it didnt go any further than kissing.i asked her did you feel like that when i kissed you and she said no.now i,m hurt and wish she had not told me anything about it as when they kissed it would have been impossible for it to go any further and i keep thinking if it had such an effect on her would she have had full intercourse with him she wont say.


All of this happened before you knew her when she was 15 right?
And you don’t suspect anything now, right?

If so get it out of your head. Leave it alone, it’s in the past. She married you.
Don’t let mind games ruin a good thing.
And be careful what you ask in the future. You have to be able to handle truth or there’s no reason for her to trust you with the truth.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Buddy considering this is the woman who you pushed into having sex with other men you seem pretty hung up about her finding another guy attractive when she was a teenager. 
WTF is your problem?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Andy1001 said:


> Buddy considering this is the woman who you pushed into having sex with other men you seem pretty hung up about her finding another guy attractive when she was a teenager.
> WTF is your problem?


Oh Christ, yes, now I recall that backstory.

OP WTH are you just looking for stuff to be dramatic about?

Live life as it is, stop screwing up your marriage over **** you caused.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

IMO the past is best left there. But of course now the past from when she was a young teenager ( what six decades ago?!?) is now back in the present. You asked enough questions, and she answered enough to depress you. So more unhappy conversations will follow, with no good result. Now old BF has contact with her and can work is magic making her horny, all he need do is mention recollections from six decades ago.

Why your wife brought up her old BF is maybe because he contacted her? Like reading your posts about the attempted swap with your pal and his wife, and your wife enjoying it got her old BF interested and hopeful? Maybe she is reliving fond memories?

IMO you have a real problem on your hands. Didn't you say you are being treated for Prostate cancer? Sad for both of you, at your age you should both be enjoying one another's company, not contemplating people form eons ago.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> All of this happened before you knew her when she was 15 right?
> And you don’t suspect anything now, right?
> 
> If so get it out of your head. Leave it alone, it’s in the past. She married you.
> ...


Except, as I read it SHE brought up the fact that the old BF who she whacked off 6 decades ago ( and didn't have intercourse with ?!) had contacted her. So OP's questions were asking details ( a bad idea).


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

That slip about the contact with an old boyfriend is something you need to verify. Did you check her social media. The comment about it being a one time conversation sounded like it was meant to get you to not delve deeper.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

jsmart said:


> That slip about the contact with an old boyfriend is something you need to verify. Did you check her social media. The comment about it being a one time conversation sounded like it was meant to get you to not delve deeper.


I doubt that she brought up the old BF (he did the asking) or that there was a ‘slip’. The language didn’t come off that way to me.

More likely they were drinking and OPs major insecurities made him dig and probe for crap to feed his cuckold fantasy. She told him about the BF and his imagination/probing took over from there.

Having said that, the wife has been suspect through all of this drama. Lies and TT are plentiful in that 3some deal, and the FB contact here might be something or might not. But I don’t buy it yet.

Still I think this OP needs to stop chasing ghosts and own his current relationship. If there’s real red flags then deal with it.

I call “drama queen” at this point.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

plastow said:


> last weekend my wife and i had a few drinks and just got chatting about things in general when she told me that a guy i chat with on facebook is an old boyfriend of hers.i didnt mind at all she was 15 at the time and just before we met.but because she had had a few drinks decided to tell me he was the guy she had wanked off ,i knew about that she had done this.but a name never came up.i said i bet he has no idea who i am or that your my wife she surprised me by saying he does know because i told him.i then asked why she had been in touch with him and she said he had guessed from some of my posts who she was and contacted her.she then said it was the only time he did so and she didnt want to continue contact with him anyway.i said i wish you had told me and she said it was unimportant.when i back in touch he tried to be surprised but i,m not worried about that really .i then asked her if she had had full sex with him as she always said she was a virgin when she met me.she said she did not have intercourse with him and i believe her.then out of the blue she said i only ever kissed one guy who made my tummy flutter and i asked her what that means and she said it made me horny.but she said it didnt go any further than kissing.i asked her did you feel like that when i kissed you and she said no.now i,m hurt and wish she had not told me anything about it as when they kissed it would have been impossible for it to go any further and i keep thinking if it had such an effect on her would she have had full intercourse with him she wont say.


There seems to be a very unhealthy dynamic between you two and she is just as guilty of playing as you.

You are insecure and she thinks it's funny to play with that insecurity.

It's a very unattractive trait of hers but she obviously gets off on poking you where you are vulnerable.

I'm not insecure so if I was in your shoes, I would spank her and drill her into the mattress until she had trouble walking. I would repeat it every time she tried and be grinning in anticipation.

She might like to remember tummy flutters from long ago but she would be getting worn out in the present.😉


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> There seems to be a very unhealthy dynamic between you two and she is just as guilty of playing as you.
> 
> You are insecure and she thinks it's funny to play with that insecurity.
> 
> ...


You are too funny 🤣🤣🤣


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

CantSitStill said:


> You are too funny 🤣🤣🤣


And while being serious to boot.😉


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Maybe her old bf is who she would be willing to have "sex with other men" with. Maybe it's no coincidence you found yourself talking to him. 

It sounds like a lot of unhealthy mind games here. My practical advice is tell this other guy via however you communicate that you now realize your wife used to go out with him and that out of respect for her, you now feel you must cut off contact with him and that you certainly hope he also won't be contacting your wife in the future. Don't even mention it to her and see if it gets back to her, if you wish. But really, you have already invited chaos into your marriage, so you have no room to be judgy here about her past or even present, truth be told.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

OP, please stop. Just stop. No more opening cans of worms, you can't handle it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Stop drinking.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

It sounds like she wants to sleep with other men. Maybe you are excited by that and can be a cuckold.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

thunderchad said:


> It sounds like she wants to sleep with other men. Maybe you are excited by that and can be a cuckold.


He did that already, check his first thread.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> There seems to be a very unhealthy dynamic between you two and she is just as guilty of playing as you.
> 
> You are insecure and she thinks it's funny to play with that insecurity.
> 
> ...


I agree. Your wife is purposefully screwing with your head. There may be some kind of closet resentment toward you for some reason.
There is zero reason for a man’s wife to tell her husband that only one man she ever kissed made her horny/- and it wasn’t you. Any woman, unless she’s mentally handicapped knows that would be incredibly, super hurtful. 

i would consider seeing a marriage counselor just to get a third set of ears hearing this craziness your wife says and see what’s going on with her.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Well maybe you planted this seed in her head when you asked her to have sex with your friend. Maybe he was better than you and now she's recounting all her previous sexual experiences and wanting to try something different again.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

plastow said:


> last weekend my wife and i had a few drinks and just got chatting about things in general when she told me that a guy i chat with on facebook is an old boyfriend of hers.i didnt mind at all she was 15 at the time and just before we met.but because she had had a few drinks decided to tell me he was the guy she had wanked off ,i knew about that she had done this.but a name never came up.i said i bet he has no idea who i am or that your my wife she surprised me by saying he does know because i told him.i then asked why she had been in touch with him and she said he had guessed from some of my posts who she was and contacted her.she then said it was the only time he did so and she didnt want to continue contact with him anyway.i said i wish you had told me and she said it was unimportant.when i back in touch he tried to be surprised but i,m not worried about that really .i then asked her if she had had full sex with him as she always said she was a virgin when she met me.she said she did not have intercourse with him and i believe her.then out of the blue she said i only ever kissed one guy who made my tummy flutter and i asked her what that means and she said it made me horny.but she said it didnt go any further than kissing.i asked her did you feel like that when i kissed you and she said no.now i,m hurt and wish she had not told me anything about it as when they kissed it would have been impossible for it to go any further and i keep thinking if it had such an effect on her would she have had full intercourse with him she wont say.


So wait she has only had sex with you, in her whole life and you are upset because some guy gave her a flutter? Seriously?

Man you guys with your retroactive jealousy are just too much. 

I'm sorry but I can't take it! Why don't you just try to **** her brains out, to be blunt. Become and expert in her pleasure and give it to her, over and over. Make it so any other guy would have no chance. 



> I would spank her and drill her into the mattress until she had trouble walking. I would repeat it every time she tried and be grinning in anticipation.


This! Right here. 

Look I get it if she lied to you or whatever, also my spider sense would go off a little about how suddenly her ex is friending oh and they suddenly talked? That seems weird.

However when it comes to the retroactive stuff... COMPETE! I don't know how you can be a Male person and not understand this. it's our whole lives. This is what we do.

I am not sure why no one told you this. Here is the deal, as a man you are in a competition with everyone. Life for a man is to compete. No use feeling sorry for yourself because no one is going to feel sorry for you, it's about going out there an being your best, every single day. And when your not your best and it obvious the whole world resents you. That's the way it is. 

I say this for all of you guys who just crumble when you hear about your wife's past boyfriend, F'ing COMPETE. Be better then that guy. If you don't give her a flutter, figure out what gives her one and lean how to do that. She is your wife, you got the inside track to her heart and her body. Figure it out.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

plastow said:


> last weekend my wife and i had a few drinks and just got chatting about things in general when she told me that a guy i chat with on facebook is an old boyfriend of hers.i didnt mind at all she was 15 at the time and just before we met.but because she had had a few drinks decided to tell me he was the guy she had wanked off ,i knew about that she had done this.but a name never came up.i said i bet he has no idea who i am or that your my wife she surprised me by saying he does know because i told him.i then asked why she had been in touch with him and she said he had guessed from some of my posts who she was and contacted her.she then said it was the only time he did so and she didnt want to continue contact with him anyway.i said i wish you had told me and she said it was unimportant.when i back in touch he tried to be surprised but i,m not worried about that really .i then asked her if she had had full sex with him as she always said she was a virgin when she met me.she said she did not have intercourse with him and i believe her.then out of the blue she said i only ever kissed one guy who made my tummy flutter and i asked her what that means and she said it made me horny.but she said it didnt go any further than kissing.i asked her did you feel like that when i kissed you and she said no.now i,m hurt and wish she had not told me anything about it as when they kissed it would have been impossible for it to go any further and i keep thinking if it had such an effect on her would she have had full intercourse with him she wont say.


That is a F'ed up things to say to a spouse! 

Wished you were as good at xxxx as my ex-girlfriend! Best lover I ever had! Hey wife, what are you upset about?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

sokillme said:


> So wait she has only had sex with you, in her whole life and you are upset because some guy gave her a flutter? Seriously?


Correction, she only had sex with him, UNTIL, he got her to agree to wife swap with a buddy. Now she seems to be thinking about other men, including the one she gave a hand job to at 15 years old. This guy screwed himself more ways than he can imagine.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

plastow said:


> last weekend my wife and i had a few drinks and just got chatting about things in general when she told me that a guy i chat with on facebook is an old boyfriend of hers.i didnt mind at all she was 15 at the time and just before we met.but because she had had a few drinks decided to tell me he was the guy she had wanked off ,i knew about that she had done this.but a name never came up.i said i bet he has no idea who i am or that your my wife she surprised me by saying he does know because i told him.i then asked why she had been in touch with him and she said he had guessed from some of my posts who she was and contacted her.she then said it was the only time he did so and she didnt want to continue contact with him anyway.i said i wish you had told me and she said it was unimportant.when i back in touch he tried to be surprised but i,m not worried about that really .i then asked her if she had had full sex with him as she always said she was a virgin when she met me.she said she did not have intercourse with him and i believe her.then out of the blue she said i only ever kissed one guy who made my tummy flutter and i asked her what that means and she said it made me horny.but she said it didnt go any further than kissing.i asked her did you feel like that when i kissed you and she said no.now i,m hurt and wish she had not told me anything about it as when they kissed it would have been impossible for it to go any further and i keep thinking if it had such an effect on her would she have had full intercourse with him she wont say.


This kind of **** reminded me of my mom. After my wife and I met, my mom was trying to get her to marry me, telling her that she can learn to love me. So that clarified to me that my mom did not love my dad...he was an easy means for a single mom.

Explains why she treated my dad the way she did....she was not in love with him. I used to wish he would find some one who loved him and divorce my mom.

I see my mom in your wife's attitude. Do not have many good things to say about mom.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Correction, she only had sex with him, UNTIL, he got her to agree to wife swap with a buddy. Now she seems to be thinking about other men, including the one she gave a hand job to at 15 years old. This guy screwed himself more ways than he can imagine.


Explains why she soon gave in and then ram rodded the activity, or shall I say got ram rodded. OP just never done it for her by her own admission.


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## redmarshall (11 mo ago)

plastow said:


> last weekend my wife and i had a few drinks and just got chatting about things in general when she told me that a guy i chat with on facebook is an old boyfriend of hers.i didnt mind at all she was 15 at the time and just before we met.but because she had had a few drinks decided to tell me he was the guy she had wanked off ,i knew about that she had done this.but a name never came up.i said i bet he has no idea who i am or that your my wife she surprised me by saying he does know because i told him.i then asked why she had been in touch with him and she said he had guessed from some of my posts who she was and contacted her.she then said it was the only time he did so and she didnt want to continue contact with him anyway.i said i wish you had told me and she said it was unimportant.when i back in touch he tried to be surprised but i,m not worried about that really .i then asked her if she had had full sex with him as she always said she was a virgin when she met me.she said she did not have intercourse with him and i believe her.then out of the blue she said i only ever kissed one guy who made my tummy flutter and i asked her what that means and she said it made me horny.but she said it didnt go any further than kissing.i asked her did you feel like that when i kissed you and she said no.now i,m hurt and wish she had not told me anything about it as when they kissed it would have been impossible for it to go any further and i keep thinking if it had such an effect on her would she have had full intercourse with him she wont say.


As previously said, first, its a good thing she shared it all with you, don't feel hurt. Secondly, be secure in the fact that she married you. As for the butterfly part, everyone's first kiss is to be remember. The first time I held my wifes hand, yes I remember it, i felt goosebumps all over, do I do now? No. but i still feel the same sense of warmth I did. Not everyone is articulate and can get hung up on what feeling means. Its in the past, move on, you married her. Not an intelligent thing to dig up the distant past.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

plastow said:


> last weekend my wife and i had a few drinks and just got chatting about things in general when she told me that a guy i chat with on facebook is an old boyfriend of hers.i didnt mind at all she was 15 at the time and just before we met.but because she had had a few drinks decided to tell me he was the guy she had wanked off ,i knew about that she had done this.but a name never came up.i said i bet he has no idea who i am or that your my wife she surprised me by saying he does know because i told him.i then asked why she had been in touch with him and she said he had guessed from some of my posts who she was and contacted her.she then said it was the only time he did so and she didnt want to continue contact with him anyway.i said i wish you had told me and she said it was unimportant.when i back in touch he tried to be surprised but i,m not worried about that really .i then asked her if she had had full sex with him as she always said she was a virgin when she met me.she said she did not have intercourse with him and i believe her.then out of the blue she said i only ever kissed one guy who made my tummy flutter and i asked her what that means and she said it made me horny.but she said it didnt go any further than kissing.i asked her did you feel like that when i kissed you and she said no.now i,m hurt and wish she had not told me anything about it as when they kissed it would have been impossible for it to go any further and i keep thinking if it had such an effect on her would she have had full intercourse with him she wont say.


You really enjoy being a punching bag. Your wife has no respect for you what so ever.


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## plastow (Jan 4, 2022)

jsmart said:


> That slip about the contact with an old boyfriend is something you need to verify. Did you check her social media. The comment about it being a one time conversation sounded like it was meant to get you to not delve deeper.


i did check her social media and found absolutely nothing at all


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