# Question for men



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

Hi everyone, I am new to this. I am mentally tormented and i am so lost. i have a question for all the men here please. 
how would you react in the following situations?:
1. Your sister’s boyfriend goes gets on top of your wife, naked, while she is sleeping, with your daughter next to her, and your wife fights him off and runs to tell you, but she starts with the word: dont go crazy, but p***r, just tried to rape me. Would you do nothing and tells your wife it’s because “she told you not to get crazy’. The next morning your wife gets angry because you did not tell the man to leave your house, you get angry and hit your wife in front of that same man. 
2. Your sister’s husband goes crazy and pulls a whole door out of its sockets, in front of your wife and child, just because your child went outside too much and he had a problem with it.
3. Your wife suffers from ptsd and gets very depressed, and confide in a family friend, whom then tells everything to a woman working at your child’s school, and this resulting in rumours at school and your wife getting totally ignored and treated badly at school. Would you go and have dinner with this person as if nothing happened.
Are these things normal? Please i need to know if I’m expecting too much from my marriage. Please


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

None if that seems normal to me, but then again Springer would never have me on his show.

Why were you not there when the naked guy got on top of your wife, why did you not kick the living ****ing **** out of him and then call the police?


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Is this your house that the door was damaged? Is it two different sisters of yours, or the same sister?


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

manwithnoname said:


> Is this your house that the door was damaged? Is it two different sisters of yours, or the same sister?


His sister, both times. the sister’s house. When this happened my husband shouted at Me instead


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

manwithnoname said:


> None if that seems normal to me, but then again Springer would never have me on his show.
> 
> Why were you not there when the naked guy got on top of your wife, why did you not kick the living **ing ** out of him and then call the police?


That’s what I want to know please. How would other men react? He was sleeping in the living room because we argued about my 6 week old baby in the hospital and I was angry because I was tired and wanted him to go sit with her but he felt that I was paranoid.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ItsTooLate said:


> His sister, both times. the sister’s house. When this happened my husband shouted at Me instead


Your husband shouted at you? I thought you WERE the husband.


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

manwithnoname said:


> None if that seems normal to me, but then again Springer would never have me on his show.
> 
> Why were you not there when the naked guy got on top of your wife, why did you not kick the living **ing ** out of him and then call the police?


the boyfriend’s excuse was that he had his drink was spiked when he went out and that he was high. But he knew where his room was when i got him off me and he ran


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> Your husband shouted at you? I thought you WERE the husband.


Im the wife.


----------



## Chaotic_Aquarian (Feb 8, 2021)

1.A wife was attacked by a man then beat by her husband in front of her assailant the next day?
2.The assailant has a problem with a child wanting to play?
3.Dump these "friends" they are untrustworthy and obviously not helpful.

I now see you are the wife asking these questions. This is an abusive situation, please get your children out of there. This is not normal at all!


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

Chaotic_Aquarian said:


> 1.A wife was attacked by a man then beat by her husband in front of her assailant the next day?
> 2.The assailant has a problem with a child wanting to play?
> 3.Dump these "friends" they are untrustworthy and obviously not helpful.
> 
> I now see you are the wife asking these questions. This is an abusive situation, please get your children out of there. This is not normal at all!


So if your wife would say: please don’t get crazy“ you would still get crazy?


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

File charges against the rapist.

Don’t spend time time there. Do you have yo own place?

It doesn’t seem like your husband can take care of a family.


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

ItsTooLate said:


> So if your wife would say: please don’t get crazy“ you would still get crazy?


And I only said that because I thought he would get mad and it was 2am and the child was sleeping. Was I wrong to have said that? Was it my fault then that he did nothing the next day?


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Very confusing…hard to tell who‘s house, who did what, etc.


----------



## Chaotic_Aquarian (Feb 8, 2021)

ItsTooLate said:


> So if your wife would say: please don’t get crazy“ you would still get crazy?


YES! He should be protecting his wife and children!


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ItsTooLate said:


> the boyfriend’s excuse was that he had his drink was spiked when he went out and that he was high. But he knew where his room was when i got him off me and he ran


That's often used as an excuse.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Colour me confused 🫤 ????


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Call the police. Also seek counselling


----------



## DallasCowboyFan (Nov 20, 2012)

1. Wouldn't have happened because I would have been in bed with my wife. If for some reason I was up a little later and this happened, I would have had the police on their way. However, if my wife told me not to go crazy, I would have been confused about what to do. I would have called the police anyway with the expectation that she may be mad at me.
2. I would have called the police and held him responsible for damages. I also would have banned him from my property. My family doesn't need to be around someone with that temper. I wouldn't want my kids to think this is acceptable behavior.
3. I wouldn't have avoided a dinner that included this person. That's letting them win. I would have called them out about confidentiality


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

At a minimum for the attempted violation that warrants a call to the police.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

ItsTooLate said:


> 1. Your sister’s boyfriend goes gets on top of your wife, naked, while she is sleeping, with your daughter next to her, and your wife fights him off and runs to tell you, but she starts with the word: dont go crazy, but p***r, just tried to rape me. Would you do nothing and tells your wife it’s because “she told you not to get crazy’. The next morning your wife gets angry because you did not tell the man to leave your house, you get angry and hit your wife in front of that same man.


Any decent husband or man would have done the following:

A) Beat the **** out of the sisters BF. 
B) Immediately kicked the BF out. 
C) Called 911. 
D) All or any combination of the above. 

The "don't go crazy but..." absolutely does not make his reaction your fault. I would have totally ignored that.

Any decent husband would not ignore it, and certainly wouldn't hit his wife when she got upset about him doing nothing.



> 2. Your sister’s husband goes crazy and pulls a whole door out of its sockets, in front of your wife and child, just because your child went outside too much and he had a problem with it.


If this was in my home I would tell the couple or the husband to leave, immediately, and they would not be invited back without a lot of anger management under their belt. If my family was in their home we would be leaving immediately. 



> 3. Your wife suffers from ptsd and gets very depressed, and confide in a family friend, whom then tells everything to a woman working at your child’s school, and this resulting in rumours at school and your wife getting totally ignored and treated badly at school. Would you go and have dinner with this person as if nothing happened.


No, I would not. 



> Are these things normal? Please i need to know if I’m expecting too much from my marriage. Please


These things are not normal in a healthy marriage. Your husband is an asshole, and it sounds like he was raised in a family of assholes. 

The advice of any half decent marriage therapist would be to get yourself and your child out of this situation. That doesn't _always_ mean divorce. It often does though because people don't like admitting they need to change, let alone doing the work to actually change. You will also never 100% trust him or be able to rely on him, or feel 100% safe around him - regardless of how much he hypothetically changes.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

bobert said:


> These things are not normal in a healthy marriage. Your husband is an asshole, and it sounds like he was raised in a family of assholes.


^^^This! You don't have a real husband. The pretender and his thugish cohorts will be a bad influence on your child. Ditch the lot of them.


----------



## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> ^^^This! You don't have a real husband. The pretender and his thugish cohorts will be a bad influence on your child. Ditch the lot of them.


OP I won’t add anything new, you’re getting really good advice.
Man here: I agree with others. Protect yourself and your daughter, get the H out of there! Call the police on the attempted rape dude.

Please DO act crazy… ‘cause it ain’t crazy what you’re thinking.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ItsTooLate said:


> Hi everyone, I am new to this. I am mentally tormented and i am so lost. i have a question for all the men here please.
> how would you react in the following situations?:
> 1. Your sister’s boyfriend goes gets on top of your wife, naked, while she is sleeping, with your daughter next to her, and your wife fights him off and runs to tell you, but she starts with the word: dont go crazy, but p***r, just tried to rape me. Would you do nothing and tells your wife it’s because “she told you not to get crazy’. The next morning your wife gets angry because you did not tell the man to leave your house, you get angry and hit your wife in front of that same man.
> 2. Your sister’s husband goes crazy and pulls a whole door out of its sockets, in front of your wife and child, just because your child went outside too much and he had a problem with it.
> ...


Let's see, your sister's boyfriend tried to rape your wife and your sister's husband pulled your door off it's hinges. (She's a busy girl BTW)

You don't kick him out of the house or confront the would be rapist and your wife is understandably upset and you commit a crime by hitting her.

She is then even more understandably upset and confides in a friend who tells the school where your daughter goes and now your wife (who is the victim in all this) is being treated badly and ignored.

Your question after all this is should you go to dinner with the friend that talked to the school about how unstable and dangerous your daughter's home is?

I would like to get you, your sister's boyfriend and her husband in the ring and teach you some manners.

I would also like to get all of you thrown in jail because you are all criminals.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

@ItsTooLate , I didn't realize you were the wife.

In my first response I said the men were criminals and needed arrested.

Your husband is a criminal and so is the sister's husband or boyfriend or whatever.

Press charges and get your daughter away from raping and battering men.


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

ItsTooLate said:


> Please i need to know if I’m expecting too much from my marriage. Please


As it stands, you should be a whole lot more weary of why you are staying with an abusive, pathetic excuse of a man you have as a husband. Why aren't you taking actions to leave this marriage?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

First it says "sister's boyfriend," then later it says "sister's husband." Then later I give up making any sense of it, but if a rape happened, it should have been reported by the person who got raped, and yes if the man is still in the house, the husband should have gone crazy on him!!!!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

P.S. a man would be talking to God face to face if he chose to lay hands on Mrs. Conan because if she wasn't fast enough to send him, I certainly would.


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

ItsTooLate said:


> So if your wife would say: please don’t get crazy“ you would still get crazy?


If my wife told me a man got into bed with her and my daughter naked that man would be removed from my house by ambulance, maybe the coroner. There is no sufficient excuse for that.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

You need to get your child out of this situation. Now.


----------



## BecauseSheWeeps (9 mo ago)

ItsTooLate said:


> Hi everyone, I am new to this. I am mentally tormented and i am so lost. i have a question for all the men here please.
> how would you react in the following situations?:
> 1. Your sister’s boyfriend goes gets on top of your wife, naked, while she is sleeping, with your daughter next to her, and your wife fights him off and runs to tell you, but she starts with the word: dont go crazy, but p***r, just tried to rape me. Would you do nothing and tells your wife it’s because “she told you not to get crazy’. The next morning your wife gets angry because you did not tell the man to leave your house, you get angry and hit your wife in front of that same man.
> 2. Your sister’s husband goes crazy and pulls a whole door out of its sockets, in front of your wife and child, just because your child went outside too much and he had a problem with it.
> ...


Is everybody in this situation doing meth? I mean, it sounds like everybody is doing meth? How is anybody in their right minds here?


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

As a Martian, the BF would have instantly gotten a severe beating with something heavy.
And booted out of the house.

Would I call the police?

Maybe, after hearing all the facts.
The wife would need to agree to this.

Don't forget, I just assaulted a man in my house.
The gears in my head would be spinning madly.

:Later, I would have my doubts as to, "What the Hell", just went on.

No, I would not say anything bad to my wife.

How about later?

It depends on what role she played in all this.

That said, she gets the benefit of the doubt, for sure.



_Are Dee-_


----------



## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

I fell like I need diagram these sentences to figure out what is going on.


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

bobert said:


> Any decent husband or man would have done the following:
> 
> A) Beat the **** out of the sisters BF.
> B) Immediately kicked the BF out.
> ...


Thank you for giving me these opinionS. My husband often tells me that I expect things that other woman don’t. Or that his reactions are normal and all men do it, it’s so confusing. Thank you


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Too much crazy drama going on here for a family of sane people.


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> As it stands, you should be a whole lot more weary of why you are staying with an abusive, pathetic excuse of a man you have as a husband. Why aren't you taking actions to leave this marriage?


He makes me feel that I expect too much. I think his behaviour is wrong, but I’m not sure what is defined as wrong Or what is normal anymore


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

ItsTooLate said:


> Thank you for giving me these opinionS. My husband often tells me that I expect things that other woman don’t. Or that his reactions are normal and all men do it, it’s so confusing. Thank you


You know, some women absolutely do have high or unrealistic expectations. 

However, expecting your husband to stand up for you, protect you, protect your child(ren), protect you and your child from an attempted rape/witnessed rape, and refrain from hitting you are NOT high expectations. 

Those are things that every single woman on this plant would (or should) expect.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

ItsTooLate said:


> I’m not sure what is defined as wrong Or what is normal anymore


Because you are in a mentally and physically abusive relationship...


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

bobert said:


> Any decent husband or man would have done the following:
> 
> A) Beat the **** out of the sisters BF.
> B) Immediately kicked the BF out.
> ...


Thank you very much for this opinion. yes I do not feel safe anymore. Everything you say is true


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

bobert said:


> You know, some women absolutely do have high or unrealistic expectations.
> 
> However, expecting your husband to stand up for you, protect you, protect your child(ren), protect you and your child from an attempted rape/witnessed rape, and refrain from hitting you are NOT high expectations.
> 
> Those are things that every single woman on this plant would (or should) expect.


Thank you. This makes me feel a little less crazy


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I’ve lived a very long time and have never personally known anything like you’re describing happening to anyone.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ItsTooLate said:


> So if your wife would say: please don’t get crazy“ you would still get crazy?


How long ago did this happen?

To me, in a situation like this "please don't get crazy" means don't beat the guy to death or get your gun and shoot him.

"please don't get crazy" does not mean "ignore that this guy tried to rape me" and "beat me up if I bring the topic up".


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

ItsTooLate said:


> .........i have a question for all the men here.....
> how would you react in the following situations?:
> 1. Your sister’s *boyfriend goes gets on top of your wife, naked, *while she is sleeping, *with your daughter next to her,* and your wife fights him off and runs to tell you........
> 2. Your sister’s husband goes crazy and pulls a whole door out of its sockets, in front of your wife and child, just because your child went outside too much and he had a problem with it.
> 3........


First of all I have a concealed carry pistol. It is to protect myself, my family and people I care about. I belong to a gun range and practice.

Item 1, would probably be met with one of several pieces of copper coated lead of diameter .355 inches being placed within the sister's boyfriend. I think that qualifies as a home invasion and rape of my daughter and wife. 

Item 2. Assuming this is the same man, that by some miracle survived item 1 (which would be beyond me how he would ever see the inside of my house unless it was a home invasion), I would probably be telling a police officer that I was afraid for my life and the life of my child, when I fired in self defence. I would then suggest to my sister that she needs to make better choices in men and never enter my house again.

Seriously, a naked rapist man jumping in bed with my wife and daughter......no mercy. If he ever entered my home again and tried to physically intimidate me.................just no way, I would not care if I ended up in jail.


----------



## SnakePlissken (10 mo ago)

Please protect you and your child from these people. Based on what you wrote...you don't understand what abuse is please seek help to better understand what is considered abuse. This situation you describe is.

I cant help thinking that a man who tries to rape a woman in bed with her child likely has no issue touching a child as well. Get your child out of there!

As far as my reaction as a man, I would make sure my wife and daughter are ok, and then promptly ignore her request and commence with crazy making on the criminal in the house. Assuming I wasn't in prison after whatever altercation would occur that night, I would never see those people again.

Please protect your child what you describe is really really bad and not acceptable for her to be around.


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Not sure exactly what I will do when dander gets up. I Have collapsed a section of wall in process of tussling with a young man to throw him out my front door by seat of his britches and nap of his neck like a stray dog just for mouthing/disrespecting his mother (who was a neighbor) while in my house. Just couldn’t abide an offspring disrespecting their parent. If it had been my wife 🥶
So It would be a fool who would try that with my wife.
Baby or no baby there would be a hellacious ruckus she would raise….and if he wasn’t already on the floor in excruciating pain when i found what ruckus was………and still be around to rip a door off in my house??……..😂


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

ItsTooLate said:


> Hi everyone, I am new to this. I am mentally tormented and i am so lost. i have a question for all the men here please.
> how would you react in the following situations?:
> 1. Your sister’s boyfriend goes gets on top of your wife, naked, while she is sleeping, with your daughter next to her, and your wife fights him off and runs to tell you, but she starts with the word: dont go crazy, but p***r, just tried to rape me. Would you do nothing and tells your wife it’s because “she told you not to get crazy’. The next morning your wife gets angry because you did not tell the man to leave your house, you get angry and hit your wife in front of that same man.
> 2. Your sister’s husband goes crazy and pulls a whole door out of its sockets, in front of your wife and child, just because your child went outside too much and he had a problem with it.
> ...


He would be lucky he wasn't dead.

If he ever came back i would get a flame thrower and set him on fire.


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

ItsTooLate said:


> Thank you for giving me these opinionS. My husband often tells me that I expect things that other woman don’t. Or that his reactions are normal and all men do it, it’s so confusing. Thank you


Do men where you live not protect their family?

Also learn to protect yourself. You have hands, feet, teeth, and maybe lamp on the bed stand. Used them. Make it known you would never condone that ****. Don’t play about it make him scream…….. Leave a scar…… husband should take over.
Edited.


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Is everybody in this situation doing meth? I mean, it sounds like everybody is doing meth? How is anybody in their right minds here?


No none of us are doing drugs. Except maybe the boyfriend of my sister in law. i came here for help, not to be made out as some weirdo,you don’t know or my situation.


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

red oak said:


> Do men where you live not protect their family?
> 
> Also learn to protect yourself. You have hands, feet, teeth, and maybe lamp on the bed stand. Used them. Make it known you would never condone that ****. Don’t play about it make him scream…….. Leave a scar…… husband should take over.
> Edited.


I did fight him off!!! with Everything inside me. Afterwards I was paralysed of schovk that this even happened to me.


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> How long ago did this happen?
> 
> To me, in a situation like this "please don't get crazy" means don't beat the guy to death or get your gun and shoot him.
> 
> "please don't get crazy" does not mean "ignore that this guy tried to rape me" and "beat me up if I bring the topic up".


Thank you for this. That’s exactly what I thought when I said that. That’s what I do want to know, if he did nothing because I said that.


----------



## BecauseSheWeeps (9 mo ago)

ItsTooLate said:


> No none of us are doing drugs. Except maybe the boyfriend of my sister in law. i came here for help, not to be made out as some weirdo,you don’t know or my situation.


Why did you tell him not to freak out like it wasn't a big deal? I was having a hard time understanding your hypotheticals.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

ItsTooLate said:


> Thank you for this. That’s exactly what I thought when I said that. That’s what I do want to know, *if he did nothing because I said that.
> *



He did nothing because he is a coward who would rather hit his wife than protect her.

Sorry, but you picked a dud to father your children.


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

jk1223 said:


> REDACTED


What awful things to say. You don’t me or my circumstances. I’m a very good mother and my daughter was the first thing in my mind when I got him off me. I took her immediately to my mom’s room. And no we are not on any drugs! My husband obviously mentally abused me and I thought I would come here and see for myself whether men think like him. Don’t you think I go through hell everyday in my head because he has me believing that it was because of those few stupid words “don’t go crazy” that I deserved what they all did??? You are just as abusing as he is!


----------



## ItsTooLate (9 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Why did you tell him not to freak out like it wasn't a big deal? I was having a hard time understanding your hypotheticals.


i don’t know why I said that!! Its just something you say when you give bad news! Every day of my life I wish I never said that!! And for the record we don’t use drugs!!!!!


----------



## BecauseSheWeeps (9 mo ago)

ItsTooLate said:


> What awful things to say. You don’t me or my circumstances. I’m a very good mother and my daughter was the first thing in my mind when I got him off me. I took her immediately to my mom’s room. And no we are not on any drugs! My husband obviously mentally abused me and I thought I would come here and see for myself whether men think like him. Don’t you think I go through hell everyday in my head because he has me believing that it was because of those few stupid words “don’t go crazy” that I deserved what they all did??? You are just as abusing as he is!


You absolutely don't deserve what had happened.


----------



## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

You didn't deserve what happened, but if my wife came to me, told me some naked guy just climbed on top of her but I really better not go crazy on him I'd pop two aspirin and get my wife, my sister and her boyfriend out of my life as quickly as possible.

This guy came into your husband's house, violated 17 different codes of conduct, supposedly violated you, and your first reaction was to defend him from your husband. Expecting your husband to just act like a glorified bellhop and escort the guy out. I would never in a million years keep someone who had such little respect for me in my life.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ItsTooLate said:


> Thank you for this. That’s exactly what I thought when I said that. That’s what I do want to know, if he did nothing because I said that.


Perhaps better wording from you would've been just don't kill him or try not to go to jail yourself tonight, but this asshole just tried to rape me, I'm calling the cops.

That said in intense situations best words aren't always at hand. You definitely didn't deserve what happened to you during or after.

THAT said, the guy needed a quick a$$ whipping and duct taped dragged onto the foyer to await the cops.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I just can't conceive of an action that doesn't include beating the guy to a pulp.


----------

