# why dose it chage soo much and feel like this



## mftucson (Sep 15, 2013)

im a fauther of 4 and a student who owns a company thats failing and do any work i can at home while my wife works. her parents moved in with us for over 4 monthes now and since then our marriage is on the rocks and sucks. we dont have sex offten any more i feel like i need to beg or aske for it she dosent just start it any more. and oral is abig issue for me i like to give it and get it more but ill do her first if needed just mine dosent come she dosent have the same energy when she dose do it. i thinks shes cheating bt she says no i have been cheated on by many girls i never was too attractive but sweet and hard working and why dose it feel like she dosent care about our sex life. we went from 2 times aday to maybe 3 times a week i have a very high sex drive at one point we would be there for hours now it just hurry up and come i dont belive she like it with me. im an avger size there not as big as shes had but is it worth keeping our family togeather if this is how i feel. we have be togeather for 7 years with 3 wounderful boy and my lil princess. please help with any advice.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

4 children in 7 years. 
You're a student. 
Your wife is the main bread winner. 
Your company is failing. 
Your inlaws have moved in with you.

I think these are all major stresses, OP, and each and every one of them can cause a shift in the dynamics in most marriages. When there are changes or problems (children, financial, employment or living arrangements), I think sex can unfortunately be one of the first things to go.

I think you need to address the known issues and find a way to work around them. For example:-


Are you and your W spending enough quality / alone time together? 
Is there a time limit on how long your inlaws will be staying with you?

Break the things that you can change down into small chunks and get your W onboard in working out how to make changes.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I would be an absolute mess if there was that much stress. When I'm stressed out I find it difficult to almost impossible to orgasm. I need to feel safe, secure, and relaxed to enjoy sex. I could still have sex with H because for him sex helps him relax, but it would be very hard for me to enjoy it. If you add in any resentment in there it's a recipe for disaster. 

H and I talk often when I'm feeling stressed. We both work really hard at creating a calm and loving home. H was downsized once, I completely freaked out and he was defensive and embarrassed. Neither one of us handled it well, after he found a new job we really had a good conversation about it. I can't just compartmentalize sex, everything going on in my life affects it.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Giro flee said:


> I can't just compartmentalize sex, everything going on in my life affects it.


:iagree: And I would say that this is true for many people, especially women.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

OP, she is not cheating, it is all the stress and life situations mentioned above. Having sex 3-4 times a week is still good, especially considering all that is going on with your lives. 

If you want the sex to pick up, start looking at solving these other issues you are having.

Can you help find your in-laws another place to live? What woman wants to have sex with her parents in the house?

Can you close your business and get a job paying a decent wage?

How long before you are done with school?


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