# My wife of 15 years cheated on me.



## Shane

All my dreams, hopes and aspirations have been shattered after I discovered that my wife had a full blown affair for over 2 years with a close family friend. 

We have been married for 15 years but have loved each other since we were 16. We have two wonderfull boys and have had the perfect life thus far (or so I thought). A nice home in the suburbs, nice car, good jobs and great family and freinds. Life couldn't be any better. We loved each other dearly andsure we had our ups and downs it was nothing out of the ordinary.
About 7 years ago we met a new couple (lets call them Steve and Susan) and we shared so much in common that we became great friends. We started going on vacations together and went over to each others houses for BBQ's and dinners. Everything was fine. 

About a year into our friendship I started to notice little things like my wife was acting more flirty with Steve. Now Steve was always a bit of a flirt and a ladies man and he spoke that way with most women. I always wondered why Sue was never bothered by this behaviour but I never put much thought into it since it was none of my business. But it was wierd seeing my wife acting like that with him. I asked her about it a few times but she blew me off by saying she just found him "funny" and that I shouldn’t be so suspecting. Steve is not a good looking guy and certainly not my wife’s type so I dropped it and didn’t let it bother me. 

After the birth of our second child (5 years ago), my wife decided not to go back to work and so I became the sole bread winner. This was a joint decision and since I was earning a good salary I though it would be good for her to raise our second child herself. However, I started noticing that she was paying less attention to me and there was a lack of intimacy between us. I chalked this up to having a baby and moved along. During this period, Steve and Sue were always there and Steve would always call my wife to ask how she was doing and they talked and laughed for ages. I thought this was inappropriate and confronted her about it. She said that she is bored at home and she and Steve are good friends and I have nothing to be concerned about. She convinced me that talking to Steve and him making her laugh was actually helping her depression and would put her in a good mood. The funny thing it I confronted Sue about this and she also felt I was reading way too much into this and that they were “all friends.” I was out numbered 3 to 1 and started feeling that maybe I was acting unreasonably. 

Then two years ago I got the first bombshell. I was suspicious for months but when she left her cell phone lying around I decided to snoop and discovered about 6 intimate text messages from the two of them. I confronted her immediately and after initially denying everything she came clean and said she was having an “emotional affair” with Steve and there was nothing physical. I didn’t believe her and we had a huge fight. The texts were very sexual in nature but there was no implication that they had sex or were physically intimate. She said she got carried away in this “fantasy” and promised to stop all contact with him and Sue. I confronted Steve as well and he was very apologetic and said that he also got carried away and promised me he loved his wife and kids (yes they had 2 kids as well) and would not do anything to hurt her. He asked me not to tell Sue but I said that she had a right to know. Sue was naturally upset and agreed that we should stop hanging out. For about 4 months we had no contact with them and she appeared remorseful and wanted us to move on. I sensed that we were more intimate and that this chapter was over. 

I then made the biggest mistake of my life and will regret this forever – I brought them back into our lives. Sue contacted me and said that Steve was very remorseful and really wanted us to be friends again. My wife also wanted to continue the friendship and promised me that he was not her type and she didn’t even find him physically attractive. She was just goofing around with him and promised me that she has learnt a lot and will never do anything to jeopardize our marriage. For some stupid reason I believed her. I also believed Sue especially when she said that she will keep a close eye on Steve. Our friendship resumed and now my wife was closer to Sue and this was fine with me. From what I could tell, Steve never called her again and the only time they saw each other was when we all went out together.

And then my life turned upside down 3 weeks ago. I started to suspect something was up because my wife was again less intimate with me and she also started going to the gym all the time for the last 6 months. She told me she joined to get in shape but she always had a great shape and has never been the gym type. Our sex life was not great either. So one night when she was sleeping I went into her cell phone again but found nothing. I then logged into her email account and there is was. Hundred’s of emails from him and her responses. I was trembling with shock!! They were having a full blown affair. He was booking hotel rooms and she was using the “gym” as an excuse to get away. She couldn’t even deny it this time. She just burst out crying and begged me to forgive her. I told her to get the hell out of my house and she has now moved out and into her parent’s home. I told Sue as well and she was mortified as well. I’m not sure what to do? 

I’m so angry at her but also at myself for being so stupid. I loved her dearly and made sure she had everything she ever wanted in life. In return all I got was a huge betrayal. I am crying all the time and I’m so hurt that words cannot describe what I’m feeling. I really feel sorry for my kids and for their sake I may even take her back but I just can’t get over the betrayal. Since then I have spoken to her a few times when she has come over but it has been very difficult to keep my anger in check. She cannot explain why she did it and that is killing me. She keeps saying it wasn’t me and that I was perfect but instead it was her and she got swayed by all his “sweet talking” and “attention.” She says she loves me and wants to be with me but how can I be with her again? 

Those emails have burnt a hole in my brain and I just can’t get them out of my mind. In one email she said that she loves him so much and that no one has ever loved her the way he has. In another she talks about how she is dying to “ride him” and can’t wait to suck his “d**K.” They talk about how to move out together and how to break the news slowly to the family. Totally gut wrenching stuff!! 

I’ve told her that she‘s free to live with him now, but she said she doesn’t want him and keeps saying she was just in some fantasy world. It’s just so confusing. I’m not sure what I will do but my heart is broken forever. 

Any advise on how to get over this would be much appreciated.
Just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.


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## jnj express

Right now the only thing you need to know is---no matter what you do decide---your wife has to be accountable for knowingly wrecking the innocent lives of 2 betrayed spouses and 4 kids----she just doesn't get to walk away from this

You need to iniate a hard 180, and stay away from her till you do decide your future---protect your kids, she may be a good mother, but she knew what she was doing when she intentionally wrecked their future


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## Shane

Thanks for your reply. I'm totally new here so can you tell me what is a 180?


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## Indy Nial

Well that really sucks, I can identify with you and if its any consolation you have helped me make a decision about my own situation. I think there first time you can forgive, she showed remorse and you gave her a 2nd chance. Unfortunately, she was proved that she didn't learn from her mistake and based on that its unlikely that she will learn from this one.

I think you know there is no future here, the length of time between events and the fact she was so good at hiding it speak volumes for the type of person she is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Orion

Shane said:


> All my dreams, hopes and aspirations have been shattered after I discovered that my wife had a full blown affair for over 2 years with a close family friend.
> 
> We have been married for 15 years but have loved each other since we were 16. We have two wonderfull boys and have had the perfect life thus far (or so I thought). A nice home in the suburbs, nice car, good jobs and great family and freinds. Life couldn't be any better. We loved each other dearly andsure we had our ups and downs it was nothing out of the ordinary.
> About 7 years ago we met a new couple (lets call them Steve and Susan) and we shared so much in common that we became great friends. We started going on vacations together and went over to each others houses for BBQ's and dinners. Everything was fine.
> 
> About a year into our friendship I started to notice little things like my wife was acting more flirty with Steve. Now Steve was always a bit of a flirt and a ladies man and he spoke that way with most women. I always wondered why Sue was never bothered by this behaviour but I never put much thought into it since it was none of my business. But it was wierd seeing my wife acting like that with him. I asked her about it a few times but she blew me off by saying she just found him "funny" and that I shouldn’t be so suspecting. Steve is not a good looking guy and certainly not my wife’s type so I dropped it and didn’t let it bother me.
> 
> After the birth of our second child (5 years ago), my wife decided not to go back to work and so I became the sole bread winner. This was a joint decision and since I was earning a good salary I though it would be good for her to raise our second child herself. However, I started noticing that she was paying less attention to me and there was a lack of intimacy between us. I chalked this up to having a baby and moved along. During this period, Steve and Sue were always there and Steve would always call my wife to ask how she was doing and they talked and laughed for ages. I thought this was inappropriate and confronted her about it. She said that she is bored at home and she and Steve are good friends and I have nothing to be concerned about. She convinced me that talking to Steve and him making her laugh was actually helping her depression and would put her in a good mood. The funny thing it I confronted Sue about this and she also felt I was reading way too much into this and that they were “all friends.” I was out numbered 3 to 1 and started feeling that maybe I was acting unreasonably.
> 
> Then two years ago I got the first bombshell. I was suspicious for months but when she left her cell phone lying around I decided to snoop and discovered about 6 intimate text messages from the two of them. I confronted her immediately and after initially denying everything she came clean and said she was having an “emotional affair” with Steve and there was nothing physical. I didn’t believe her and we had a huge fight. The texts were very sexual in nature but there was no implication that they had sex or were physically intimate. She said she got carried away in this “fantasy” and promised to stop all contact with him and Sue. I confronted Steve as well and he was very apologetic and said that he also got carried away and promised me he loved his wife and kids (yes they had 2 kids as well) and would not do anything to hurt her. He asked me not to tell Sue but I said that she had a right to know. Sue was naturally upset and agreed that we should stop hanging out. For about 4 months we had no contact with them and she appeared remorseful and wanted us to move on. I sensed that we were more intimate and that this chapter was over.
> 
> I then made the biggest mistake of my life and will regret this forever – I brought them back into our lives. Sue contacted me and said that Steve was very remorseful and really wanted us to be friends again. My wife also wanted to continue the friendship and promised me that he was not her type and she didn’t even find him physically attractive. She was just goofing around with him and promised me that she has learnt a lot and will never do anything to jeopardize our marriage. For some stupid reason I believed her. I also believed Sue especially when she said that she will keep a close eye on Steve. Our friendship resumed and now my wife was closer to Sue and this was fine with me. From what I could tell, Steve never called her again and the only time they saw each other was when we all went out together.
> 
> And then my life turned upside down 3 weeks ago. I started to suspect something was up because my wife was again less intimate with me and she also started going to the gym all the time for the last 6 months. She told me she joined to get in shape but she always had a great shape and has never been the gym type. Our sex life was not great either. So one night when she was sleeping I went into her cell phone again but found nothing. I then logged into her email account and there is was. Hundred’s of emails from him and her responses. I was trembling with shock!! They were having a full blown affair. He was booking hotel rooms and she was using the “gym” as an excuse to get away. She couldn’t even deny it this time. She just burst out crying and begged me to forgive her. I told her to get the hell out of my house and she has now moved out and into her parent’s home. I told Sue as well and she was mortified as well. I’m not sure what to do?
> 
> I’m so angry at her but also at myself for being so stupid. I loved her dearly and made sure she had everything she ever wanted in life. In return all I got was a huge betrayal. I am crying all the time and I’m so hurt that words cannot describe what I’m feeling. I really feel sorry for my kids and for their sake I may even take her back but I just can’t get over the betrayal. Since then I have spoken to her a few times when she has come over but it has been very difficult to keep my anger in check. She cannot explain why she did it and that is killing me. She keeps saying it wasn’t me and that I was perfect but instead it was her and she got swayed by all his “sweet talking” and “attention.” She says she loves me and wants to be with me but how can I be with her again?
> 
> Those emails have burnt a hole in my brain and I just can’t get them out of my mind. In one email she said that she loves him so much and that no one has ever loved her the way he has. In another she talks about how she is dying to “ride him” and can’t wait to suck his “d**K.” They talk about how to move out together and how to break the news slowly to the family. Totally gut wrenching stuff!!
> 
> I’ve told her that she‘s free to live with him now, but she said she doesn’t want him and keeps saying she was just in some fantasy world. It’s just so confusing. I’m not sure what I will do but my heart is broken forever.
> 
> Any advise on how to get over this would be much appreciated.
> Just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.


I am sorry that this happened. And, I don't know if I even have words to help you get through this. I will say that taking her back "for the sake of the kids" sounds noble but is ultimately not a good move. Kids are not stupid and will eventually know that their parents are in a toxic relationship. Also, if she cheats on you again (and brings you home an STD), your kids could lose their mother and their father. Yeah, that might sound extreme but please believe that it could happen. If you choose to take her back, do so because that's what YOU want to do. If you choose to not take her back, just know that things will eventually get better. As far as getting over it, a person once said that sometimes "the only way out is through". You will just have to go through it but you can. Good luck.


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## ahhhmaaaan!

Dude, read my post. I WAS in the same boat. I decided to leave the relationship. Reading your post just got me totally upset again- WHY? The double-betrayal thing really burns me up, not that I'd be more comfortable if she was ****ing some random guy, but for two people that you trusted to totally betray your trust: just disgusting. Not everybody is the same, so now you have to decide if you can weather the storm. Good luck. PM me if you to talk further.


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## The 13th_Floor

****, man, I'm sorry. That's an emotional AND physical affair right in your face. I would be on my way to beat the **** out of "Steve." I know you're hurt, but don't let your "heart" get in the way of what really happened, man. It's over, bro. Beat his ASS!


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## Shane

The 13th_Floor said:


> ****, man, I'm sorry. That's an emotional AND physical affair right in your face. I would be on my way to beat the **** out of "Steve." I know you're hurt, but don't let your "heart" get in the way of what really happened, man. It's over, bro. Beat his ASS!


I've thought of that many times but what's the point? He'll charge me with assualt and there goes any hope of getting the kids. Besides, i know this may sound weird but i'm not as upset at him as I am at the wife. It was her I trusted not him. She put everything thing at stake and ruined my life in the process and she can't even tell me why.


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## jnj express

1st your beef is with your wife, not the guy she cheated with---yes he had much to do with what happened, BUT your wife is the one who took vows with you---I am hoping the last poster is not stupid enuff to want you to follow what he says literally and end up in jail for battery.---It is your wife who did this to you

The 180 is basically where you acknowledge your wife exists, and you can discuss things that need to be handled, in re: kids, finances, everyday living---but beyond that she gets nothing of you---you show her you can live life just fine w/out her---you start to have a life of your own, and let her see what she is about to lose

As to your wife---unfortunately IMHO---the 1st time you cheated---I think you let your wife off way to easy---so she figured you took her back then w/out any big consequences--so why not cheat again---He will do nothing if i get caught again

Your wife says she loves you, and she wants to keep the mge., going and make amends----that is one line of pure bullcrap
If you hadn't caught her and "outed her" this A. would still be going on
She has looked you in the eyes for how long now night after night and lied to you that everything was fine, and she was just going to workout---etc---all the while decieving you, manipulating you, lying to you---what your wife is SHE IS A CONNIVING CHEATER---who really could care less about you---you are a financial stable money providing doormat to her

What really is terrible that she knowingly has now put the lives of her children into a future of hell for them---they will either live in a home where there is distrust, no love, enmity, constant fighting---or they will be passed back and forth---that is the legacy she has given her own flesh and blood children

She says she loves you, and wants to make this right---please do not believe this for one minute---her is what she is REALLY looking at--she is looking at being a divorced single mother with young children--she is looking at having to hold down probably 2 jobs, she is looking at having to pay all her own bills, and financing her life on her own---and she is looking at having the reputationout in the puiblic eye--of being a 2 timing cheating woman who is divorced with young kids-----she is not gonna find a decent man with that label on her, and she knows it---all she will get is badboys who want to screw her and that's it----she is looking at a horrible, lonely, dreary life, without a decent man in it---and that scares the crap out her her

But you know what that is what she deserves---You need to move on with your head high


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## Shane

ahhhmaaaan! said:


> Dude, read my post. I WAS in the same boat. I decided to leave the relationship. Reading your post just got me totally upset again- WHY? The double-betrayal thing really burns me up, not that I'd be more comfortable if she was ****ing some random guy, but for two people that you trusted to totally betray your trust: just disgusting. Not everybody is the same, so now you have to decide if you can weather the storm. Good luck. PM me if you to talk further.


I did read your post and totally feel for you as well. Our situations are very similar. I'm not sure if you have kids, but this is the only thing that's holding me back from getting rid of her. Not sure how I will weather the storm though. I'm going through a whole host of emotions that I have never felt before such as extreme anger and self pity. 

WhenI asked her why she betrayed me a second time especially when i forgave her the first time, she cannot answer and just states that this time she really means it. Can you believe her!


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## HurtinginTN

The 13th_Floor said:


> Beat his ASS!


That would feel good in the moment. Believe me, I have had that thought many times. I was just thinking last night about putting a punching bag in the garage because it would feel good to hit something. However, it would not solve anything and just bring more trouble. 



Shane said:


> Besides, i know this may sound weird but i'm not as upset at him as I am at the wife. It was her I trusted not him. She put everything thing at stake and ruined my life in the process and she can't even tell me why.


:iagree: You didn't marry Steve. He didn't take a vow to be committed to you. Your wife did. That doesn't sound weird. It sounds wise. That has been one of my problems. I can't hardly mention OM without some cuss words thrown in somewhere. That probably alienates my wife more than anything. It's easy to hate the other man and want to beat the heck out of him. At least for me. It takes wisdom to feel the way you do.


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## The 13th_Floor

jnj express said:


> 1st your beef is with your wife, not the guy she cheated with---yes he had much to do with what happened, BUT your wife is the one who took vows with you---I am hoping the last poster is not stupid enuff to want you to follow what he says literally and end up in jail for battery.---It is your wife who did this to you
> 
> The 180 is basically where you acknowledge your wife exists, and you can discuss things that need to be handled, in re: kids, finances, everyday living---but beyond that she gets nothing of you---you show her you can live life just fine w/out her---you start to have a life of your own, and let her see what she is about to lose
> 
> As to your wife---unfortunately IMHO---the 1st time you cheated---I think you let your wife off way to easy---so she figured you took her back then w/out any big consequences--so why not cheat again---He will do nothing if i get caught again
> 
> Your wife says she loves you, and she wants to keep the mge., going and make amends----that is one line of pure bullcrap
> If you hadn't caught her and "outed her" this A. would still be going on
> She has looked you in the eyes for how long now night after night and lied to you that everything was fine, and she was just going to workout---etc---all the while decieving you, manipulating you, lying to you---what your wife is SHE IS A CONNIVING CHEATER---who really could care less about you---you are a financial stable money providing doormat to her
> 
> What really is terrible that she knowingly has now put the lives of her children into a future of hell for them---they will either live in a home where there is distrust, no love, enmity, constant fighting---or they will be passed back and forth---that is the legacy she has given her own flesh and blood children
> 
> She says she loves you, and wants to make this right---please do not believe this for one minute---her is what she is REALLY looking at--she is looking at being a divorced single mother with young children--she is looking at having to hold down probably 2 jobs, she is looking at having to pay all her own bills, and financing her life on her own---and she is looking at having the reputationout in the puiblic eye--of being a 2 timing cheating woman who is divorced with young kids-----she is not gonna find a decent man with that label on her, and she knows it---all she will get is badboys who want to screw her and that's it----she is looking at a horrible, lonely, dreary life, without a decent man in it---and that scares the crap out her her
> 
> But you know what that is what she deserves---You need to move on with your head high


Come on, at least confront the other guy, Jesus, he screwed your wife...


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## The 13th_Floor

The 13th_Floor said:


> Come on, at least confront the other guy, Jesus, he screwed your wife...


Okay, that was wrong. Not ALL guys feel the same as me. I just feel that if someone else touches my property, they need to pay the price...


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## troy

Best friend s****ing your wife is worst than a knife in the back. Happened to me and that was the end of that friendship. Worst part is it took me a lifetime to get brave enough to trust a friend around my wife. This goes really deep. I hope you can move on.

Okay to forgive the first time, but not the second. I used to think its better to stay together in a bad marriage for the sake of the kids, but not anymore. I stayed in a bad marriage for the kids for 10+ years, and now that they are off to college, the wifey is ready to spread her wings and be single. I should have left the b***h years ago, but hey ... that's love.


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## HurtinginTN

Shane said:


> Not sure how I will weather the storm though. I'm going through a whole host of emotions that I have never felt before such as extreme anger and self pity.


I'm finding that the extreme anger is a natural reaction to cover the extreme pain. That is my theory anyway from my experience. As I'm trying to fight the anger, the pain becomes overwhelming. 

Your appetite will likely become non-existent. Muscle Milk is good to me. It's easy to drink and has nourishment. Soup is good. It's nutritious and easy to get down. 

Control the angry outbursts. That is my biggest struggle. They are totally non-productive. You mention extreme anger so it may be for you as well. Music, taking a walk, playing with the kids, working out, etc. are good ways to get your mind off of the pain. 

I'm sorry you are in this situation. You are not alone. This is a good site for support and advice. It helps to know there are others going through similar situations.


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## Eli-Zor

Is the OM still staying with his wife? or has he left home as well. 

I assume her parents know of her affair.


You are going to hurt for a a long time, things will be raw for a while. Over time you will heal however there are a number of steps to take to help you and your family. 

She has an STD test and brings you a copy of the results to evidence she is clean.

She hand writes a no contact letter to the OM, samples can be found on the affaircare.com site under articles. You approve this and send it to the OM. 

There is no contact ever with the OM, EVER. 

If she has not told her parents she does so with you present. You tell your children, they will know something is wrong and you have to be there to help and support them. This is as stressful for them as it is for you. 

I suggest your wife registers on another site , not this one as this is your safety zone, a site such as marriagebuilders. They will guide her through a process to earn your trust and recover the marriage. She must actively engage on the site and the processes a half hearted attempt is not going to cut it. 

A flag for you, even though you have caught her do not believe she has stopped the affair, for you to be absolutely sure , there must be complete openness, all movements, email passwords and if you so choose a polygraph.

She tells you everything you ask, no dripping of information. Do not go to a Marriage Councillor unless you are sure the affair is over. An option is to speak to the people on the affaircare site or marriagebuilders site first, these site are dedicated to saving marriages. 


Work on yourself, eat well, keep a clear mind. The challenge you face is how to move on to the next step and what you want that next step to be. Ultimately it is for you to decide if you can live in the marriage with her.


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## jnj express

Hey H Tenn----I know what your saying One could dream of no finer thing than taking my foot and slamming it into his genitals---hopefully taking him out of action forever


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## Eli-Zor

> WhenI asked her why she betrayed me a second time especially when i forgave her the first time, she cannot answer and just states that this time she really means it. Can you believe her!


No you cannot believe her, if she remains with you she will spend the rest of her life willingly evidencing in words actions and deeds that she is trustworthy


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## jnj express

Read my post above she doesn't really mean it---she just doesn't wanna be on her own w/out her doormat H.----Why now all of a sudden would she really mean it---she has disrespected her H., and treated him like a sack of crap for how long---what has all of a sudden changed---looking at her future by herself is what has changed her---she just didn't all of a sudden fall back in love---only person she loves is herself


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## ahhhmaaaan!

I have no kids, so I'm in a good position as far that goes. I hear what people say when kids are involved, but to stay in a toxic environment like that is no life for any of you. What's wrong with being good, loving, and caring single parent. I don't understand that. I know many of us don't want to burden the children, and tear apart a family, but this is no way to "keep it together," just for the kids sake. Again, there are many happy single parents out there- Is that so wrong?


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## ahhhmaaaan!

Oh... and by the way. Where are all those people who brand some of us as "abusers," or arrogant when it comes to dishing a little bit of "extreme" 180? I guess what SHE is doing isn't considered abuse, right?


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## HurtinginTN

ahhhmaaaan! said:


> I guess what SHE is doing isn't considered abuse, right?


Not by many. I was told I was acting like a 9 year old when I told my wife her affair was a form of emotional abuse. She throws around the "you weren't meeting my emotional needs" line as justification for the affair. I counter with calling her affair emotional abuse. I get called a 9 year old. 

Granted, I could have done a better job meeting those needs. I have acknowledged that.


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## Saffron

I'm so sorry you're going through this Shane! Please don't kick yourself for any past decisions, it's possible that nothing you could've done would've really changed the outcome.

This is my best guess as to why it happened "again". I'm doubting if it ever really ended. Based on my husband's attempt to cover up the details of his affair when I first found out, it was like the fog was still all over him. If I would've accepted the "it was only emotional" bull, he would've gotten away with the physical and who knows what else.

Get away with something once, you feel like you can get away with it again.

It wasn't until I bluffed and said I could get a transcript of his texts, did he reveal the extent of the affair. After he revealed the physcial part of the affair, it was my saying we were getting divorced that seemed to wake him up to reality.

It's only been 3 months since I found out, but I feel relatively confident that he's not withholding when he answers my questions. When the DS gives the kind of details that strike you're heart, it's hard to believe they're still holding back.

During his early day confessions, when I asked if he'd ever cheated before he said no. Three days later he confessed to making out with a co-worker 10 years ago. He was taking a gamble telling me, knowing he was risking all by admitting he's cheated before. However, it was this revelation that made me finally feel like he was trying to come clean. From that moment, I felt like I knew my husband again. No question is off limits for me.

The DS said it was getting away with the first affair that led to his downfall the second time. He never thought he'd cheat again, let alone get caught. Plus, he never realized how much it would hurt me. But the earlier affair already made him consider himself a bad husband, so what's one more? (I know, crazy thinking. But cheaters try to reason there way through it all.)

Anyway, I'm trying to give you some insight into the mind of a cheater. The thing that hurts even more in your situation, is that your wife knew she had hurt you before. I've made it very clear to my husband, that I can not go through all this again. I've asked a thousand times, if there's anything else, now is the time to tell me. A blow job from a stripper or a handy from an ex, tell me now or forever hold your peace. Because at this point, if I find out he's still hiding something... THAT will be just as much of a betrayal as cheating again.

Good luck Shane and I'm sorry if I blabbered on too much. I'm hoping that at least some possible reasons for her having an affair again may help you cope just a little more. Whatever you decide will be supported, there's no right or wrong answer. Do what you need to do to heal during this heart breaking time. Take care.


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## Shane

Thank you everyone for your replies. As weird as this sounds, It's comforting to know that I am not the only one who has gone through such hurt.

I just can't get over the hurt. There is a pain in my heart that just won't go away. I have never felt like this before and I'm not sure I will ever get over this. She is the only one I ever loved and I know nothing else but her - I can't even remember my life without her. 
I was also her first as well so I sometimes wonder whether she feels she missed out on some "fun" by getting married to her first love. 

I have spoken to Sue and she kicked her husband out for a few days but she has taken him back now. Said that she has no choice but to forgive him "for the kids." Seems like they have started to repair their lives and move on. My wife wants me to do the same and can't seem to understand why I can't forgive like Sue. She is begging and pleading me to take her back. He actions seem genuine but I cannot be certain. Her parents have also begged me to give her another chance. They are very traditional and feel that I should make this happen for the kids. They said they would give the same advise to their daughter if it was I who cheated. They seem totally torn up. 

I am in a whole lot of emotional pain. I have this lump in my throat that just won't go away. I'm not sure how long I can take this pain. Anybody here recommend anti-depressants as an option to end this perpetual heartache? I have never taken them before but I'm at my wits end here.


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## Initfortheduration

She is a serial cheater. And can obviously do some guy behind your back for years without feeling any guilt. Think hard on taking her back. I wouldn't


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## justbe

divorce her and dont let her get anything from you. as for the OM, play soft to harm him.


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## Runs like Dog

Actually, infidelity is a behavior not an event. People who step out will ALWAYS step out. That's their nature. They didn't do it because you don't pick up your socks or whatever. They did it because that's their nature. That's what they are. 

And please, spare me the 21st century nonsense how everything is now an addiction. It isn't. You either have character or you don't. 

And for the record cheaters don't feel regret about cheating. They feel regret at being caught. Everything else is an act. 

All the married women I've known well in the past 30 years cheated on their husbands. All but two divorced. All were found out. The women who were found out continued to cheat. And still do.

And I've got to tell you I don't care what the reasons are. I don't care if their parents didn't love them enough or their husbands can't bring them to orgasm the right way or whatever. 

It's about character. I don't care about the inner child, only the outer adult.


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## Tourchwood

I agree with Initfortheduration

you did forgive her first time when you found out and broke the friendship between both couples. then she cheats again after couples become friends. 
she has no reason to cheat accept she knows for certain that you would forgive her.
even you take her back your life wont be the same, you will have trust and images in your head.
and who guarantee she wont do it again? you gave her many chances but she blew them. 
being that you are her first should have stopped her from cheating.
you need to leave her man and find a better person. 
the Pain you are going through is normal 
(* I cant live without her*)(*she is the only one*) etc.... all this will go a way with time and the fog around your head will go a way and look at your past and say how the hell I stayed with her or thought about taking her back. 
when you find new person, you will live happier that before.


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## Jellybeans

Runs like Dog said:


> And for the record cheaters don't feel regret about cheating. They feel regret at being caught. Everything else is an act.


I disagree. As someone who cheated, there isn't a day that goes by for 2 yrs now I don't feel intense regret/remorse for what I did. I was not found out. I confessed. And I never did it again. I completely cut off contact w/ the person I cheated with. 

Now that is not to say everyone is the same. My ex-husband also cheated on me and never once told me he regretted it or apologized.


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## Jellybeans

Saffron said:


> This is my best guess as to why it happened "again". I'm doubting if it ever really ended.


Agreed.



Tourchwood said:


> you did forgive her first time when you found out and broke the friendship between both couples. then she cheats again after couples become friends.
> she has no reason to cheat accept she knows for certain that you would forgive her.
> you gave her many chances but she blew them.


I also agree with this.

The fact that she didn't cut it off right away after you exposed is a big problem. 

You need to stay away from Sue and Steve. Don't go after him. It's not worth it. And I agree w/ you it was a bad idea to invite them back into your lives after finding out Steve was having an affair w/your wife.


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## Twistedheart

Man it has been almost a year since I found out about my wife and reading your post makes me feel like it happened all over again today. What I am trying to say is I know how you feel right now and what you are going through.

Don't forget to eat and don't get on any drugs. You will wake up, one day soon, and decide that you must now live for you and your kids and begin to like yourself more than you ever realized.

I am still with my wife but it is not the same. If there were no kids involved I would have been gone. I still contemplate divorcing, everyday. I am a true believer that cheating is not just some random impulse thing that happens on a whim. I believe that cheating is a character flaw or defieciency that even the most rehibiltating person will do the same thing if given the right conditions. 

My wife knows that I battle myself everyday about our situation, should I stay or should I go. She tells me that she will wait however long it takes in hopes of winning me back, completely. But I just do not know that I will ever want to give all of myself completely back to her. She had that once and wrecked it to total hell, like my trust was just some game or toy. Betrayal.

This is what it will be like for you. Yes you will eat again and life does go on, but not like it was before, ever.


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## ahhhmaaaan!

****! It seems we live in a parallel universe. This sounds so much like my situation, except for the kids. I see "Sue" is taking the scumbag back- Again, for the sake of the kids. But, is is what SHE really wants. Like I said: What's wrong with being a single parent?.. and keeping your sanity, dignity, and self-respect. I know I'm talking out of context, as I have no children of my own, but I feel sometimes its a cop-out to say "I'm staying for the sake of the children," when you don't feel it yourself. Why should all the blame be shifted to the BS wants out, for a failed marriage due to infidelity. I hate it when people say, "Oh... well your not thinking about you children" Really?... Was my spouse thinking about the children while he/she was cheating on ALL of us. Don't get sucked in the guilt trip my friend. Do what's best for you, so you can be the best parent for YOUR children. I can bet when they grow up, they will see the reasoning behind your decision- whatever it may be. 

HurtingTN- I feel you, bro. Have you noticed those that brand us "abusers," don't have anything to say when the cheating spouse acts out in this way? Can someone say... DOUBLE-STANDARD. If a man cheats-he gets what he deserves from betrayed spouse. If a woman cheats, and the betrayed spouse inflicts a little "medicine he's branded an abuser: What a crock of ****. I was under the impression this was the 21st century, where all of us are responsible for our actions, regardless of sex or gender. The way I see it "All's fair in love and war."


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## jnj express

Hey shane---this is about the rest of your life---and right now it is about how you are being manipulated

1st don't do any drugs for depression---if you resolve this situation, especially by unloading your cheating wife---your depression will start to lift, as you look forward to a new life, full of adventure, with peace of mind

You gave your wife the greatest gift you could give anyone---a 2nd chance---and what did she do, she shoved it right down your throat---said screw you H., I am gonna resume spreading my legs for my lover, cuz that's what I WANT---who cares about you, who cares about my flesh and blood kids----I am really not sure how you can stand to talk to her, much less if you had to look at her, or touch her, I would be in the bathroom---puking at the thought of contact with her----remember she very, very happily twisted the knife into your heart a 2nd time---and thought nothing of it

How is it that now all of sudden she gets it, now all of sudden she is in love again---that doesn't happen---all she thought about for all those months was him, and how she could spread her legs for him--all her efforts were not on providing for her family---they were on conniving, manipulating, lying, deceit laden plans to lie to you, and run off to a hotel and have sex with her lover---where did her family come into play---THEY DID NOT---and now she gets it, she doesn't get it---she is scared as heck that is what is really going on

She wants back cuz, as I stated before---what is she looking at for her future--If you D. her----she is looking at the label of a cheating, divorced, single woman with kids---do you honestly think she will ever get a decent guy with that label---Heck no---she is looking at full time work, full time child care BY HERSELF---she won't be able to really go out and enjoy life cuz she will be dead tired every night after work, yet she will still have to deal with the kids, when she has them---she is looking at never having enuff money---and here is where her parents come in---they are looking at having to help take care of her, and putting their own money, that they need---to help keep her going----looking at all that---you better believe she is gonna do what ever it takes to try and keep you, whether she is allegedly in love or not.

BUT---how do you live --knowing you can never trust her, how do you live w/out being a prison guard, or locking her in her room---knowing she will cheat again---because she will---she has done it twice, and so far you are still here---so she knows she can cheat and you will take her back---Is this the way you wanna spend the rest of your life---for whatever caused her to need outside sex---will happen again

The kids will be fine whichever way you go------just think about one thing---you only get one try at life on this planet---It is spose to be happy---you can still have that---IF YOU LEAVE YOUR CHEATING, SELFISH WIFE---you will never have happiness, peace of mind, or carefree days if you stay---for just the sight of her, and the touch of her will trigger you again and again, and again

I would not argue against her so vehemently had she cheated once, and stopped and continued with a good try at R---but this woman has cheated twice---or maybe it was just one long connected A.---but the minute she got the chance she ran to him------you are sloppy 2nds, at best no matter what she says, or does at this point----and your sub-conscious knows this full well


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## rrrbbbttt

Shane:
My wife cheated on me with a previous boyfriend at least 3 times before I found out. I forgave her and took her back, though she has not cheated on me since, I believe, the mental images I have haunt me. 

Maybe you are stronger than I am but be aware that this will stick with you for the rest of your life. If you take her back you will always question Why.

Though it has been 10 years, I still say if I had to do it all over again with what I know, I would not have married her for the emotional toll it has taken.


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## Corkey88

This relationship is done like dinner in my book. Far too much water under the bridge for you to ever forget this has happened. She is a liar, she lied to your face more than once, how can you ever trust her again? I have no idea how you can even think of reconciling with her.


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## Wolf359

Shane said:


> Thank you everyone for your replies. As weird as this sounds, It's comforting to know that I am not the only one who has gone through such hurt.
> 
> I just can't get over the hurt. There is a pain in my heart that just won't go away. I have never felt like this before and I'm not sure I will ever get over this. She is the only one I ever loved and I know nothing else but her - I can't even remember my life without her.
> I was also her first as well so I sometimes wonder whether she feels she missed out on some "fun" by getting married to her first love.
> 
> I have spoken to Sue and she kicked her husband out for a few days but she has taken him back now. Said that she has no choice but to forgive him "for the kids." Seems like they have started to repair their lives and move on. My wife wants me to do the same and can't seem to understand why I can't forgive like Sue. She is begging and pleading me to take her back. He actions seem genuine but I cannot be certain. Her parents have also begged me to give her another chance. They are very traditional and feel that I should make this happen for the kids. They said they would give the same advise to their daughter if it was I who cheated. They seem totally torn up.
> 
> I am in a whole lot of emotional pain. I have this lump in my throat that just won't go away. I'm not sure how long I can take this pain. Anybody here recommend anti-depressants as an option to end this perpetual heartache? I have never taken them before but I'm at my wits end here.


Yes, I take xanax it works well for **** like this. I say she waits for at lest 3 months no contact with you. Go out and have fun let her worry about the new you, aka 180.


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## morituri

ahhhmaaaan! said:


> ...Again, for the sake of the kids. But, is is what SHE really wants. Like I said: What's wrong with being a single parent?.. and keeping your sanity, dignity, and self-respect. I know I'm talking out of context, as I have no children of my own, but I feel sometimes its a cop-out to say "I'm staying for the sake of the children," when you don't feel it yourself. Why should all the blame be shifted to the BS wants out, for a failed marriage due to infidelity. I hate it when people say, "Oh... well your not thinking about you children" Really?... Was my spouse thinking about the children while he/she was cheating on ALL of us. Don't get sucked in the guilt trip my friend. Do what's best for you, so you can be the best parent for YOUR children. I can bet when they grow up, they will see the reasoning behind your decision- whatever it may be.


Have you seen the face of children who love both of their parents? No, so forgive me for saying that until you cross that bridge you have no idea what those that have emotionally go through in deciding whether or not to end their marriage. A little bit of empathy on your part would be appreciated.


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## committed4life

your wife is a real liar and cheat you should try counseling


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## ahhhmaaaan!

Morituri-Yes, I have seen the face of kids who love both parents: my sisters kids, my brothers kids, of which I am their Godparent. I have seen my cousins face when my uncle has continually cheated on my aunt. She has no self-confidence now. She even thought a face-lift and some cosmetic surgery would "reel" him back in, only to see him go off with co-worker again. So yeah, I have seen "LOVE" in the eyes of children. They live in such a toxic environment, that my own mother has to watch them sometimes because of the hostility in the home- tell me, are they better off. I think not!


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## Saffron

ahhhmaaaan, some of us with children should clarify.

I'm _trying_ because of my children. Ultimately, they will not be the reason I stay. If I stay, it will because I'm in a fulfilling loving relationship with my husband.

During the initial pain and anger over the betrayal, I wanted a divorce. Infidelity was one thing I would justify getting a divorce over. At that time I thought we had a 1% chance of surviving. Now, 3 months later, the survival percentage is much higher. It's by no means 100%, but no one can give that kind of guarantee in marriage anyway.

Our visible relationship is better now. We're actually more affectionate, respectful, and loving to each other than we were last year at this time. Our marital issues are something we can work on privately, while our children's lives remain stable and secure. If at some point I realize I can't get over my husband's infidelity, then we will break it to our children as gently as possible.

I agree though, if a relationship is as toxic as the one you described, they are probably better off divorced.


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## Lilyana

I am a firm believer that kids are better off with two happy parents that are apart, rather than two unhappy parents that stay together for them.

I want my daughter to know how a man should treat her. With dignity and respect and love. I want my son to know how he should treat a wife. Those are values they will not learn in an emotionally vacant and adultry ridden relationship. Which is why I think its best for us to be seperate and not together.

Ultimatly I know a lot of people try to stay together for their kids, But I still think it is more important for the kids to have two happy parents who aren't together. 

The only reason you should stay in a marriage is because YOU LOVE THEM! Don't justify your staying on the kids, its not going to make you happy or love your spouse again. 

I know my situation is probably quite different than most, because my relationship is also emotionally and physically/sexually abusive. Kudos to those who can make it work out.. and I wish you the best. Just please stay for the right reasons!


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## Darth Vader

Shane said:


> I did read your post and totally feel for you as well. Our situations are very similar. I'm not sure if you have kids, but this is the only thing that's holding me back from getting rid of her. Not sure how I will weather the storm though. I'm going through a whole host of emotions that I have never felt before such as extreme anger and self pity.
> 
> WhenI asked her why she betrayed me a second time especially when i forgave her the first time, she cannot answer and just states that this time she really means it. Can you believe her!


No I can't, can you? Just DROP HER ASS!


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## Darth Vader

HurtinginTN said:


> Not by many. I was told I was acting like a 9 year old when I told my wife her affair was a form of emotional abuse. She throws around the "you weren't meeting my emotional needs" line as justification for the affair. I counter with calling her affair emotional abuse. I get called a 9 year old.
> 
> Granted, I could have done a better job meeting those needs. I have acknowledged that.


If you would've cheated, Then it would have been emotional abuse towards your wife! Call them on it!

What Hypocrites!


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## VeryHurt

Shane:

My husband was unfaithful to me after 26 years. The affair lasted 6months. Our son was 23 years old at the time. Well, I took him back and I will tell you why:

(1) I felt that everyone makes mistakes.
(2) No one is perfect.
(3) If the role was reversed, I would want him to forgive me.

That was 2 years ago and we are still together but things are not the same for me. I am suspicious. The trust has not returned to where it was before the betrayal. I think about him with her. 

Did I do the right thing? I still don't know. 

You have to decide and you will know what to do when you are ready. 

You can read 100 posts and there will be 100 different replies. But only you know your history. Only you know your emotional attachment.

Try to talk to a professional for your sanity.


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## morituri

While I believe everybody deserves a second chance, nobody deserves a third, fourth, ad infinitum chance. Ask her parents to picture in their minds one of them secretly meeting with a trusted mutual friend to have sex while lying to the other that he/she was going to the gym. Ask your father in law to imagine his wife, your mother in law, boning another man and he finding her journal depicting her feelings about leaving him for the other man as well as depicting all of the disgusting things they do during their rendevouz. Ask him and leave him to ponder your words. If he is a man of principle, he will be ashamed and disgusted with his daughter's betrayal. I have grown up daughters and I would be totally disgusted with them for a long time if they did to their husbands what your wife did to you. Don't allow them or anybody else to pressure you into taking your wife back.


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## ahhhmaaaan!

Saffron- "I'm trying because of my children. Ultimately, they will not be the reason I stay. If I stay, it will because I'm in a fulfilling loving relationship with my husband."

Lilyana- "I am a firm believer that kids are better off with two happy parents that are apart, rather than two unhappy parents that stay together for them."

Exactly my point. Why stay if YOUR heart isn't into it. I know that the children's well being is most important here, but to come to resent your decision for staying because of them is not a good thing. Your happiness resonates with them. If they are constantly see you in a sad state, and always fighting with your WS because you have not come to terms with the betrayal- Believe me, they are going to notice. Kids are very perceptive. They should not be subjected to a toxic environment because some are of the opinion that you SHOULD R for their sake. That's all I'm saying. I say cop-out because it seems people are of the mind that this is the best course(R) even when thy're not feeling like reconciliation.


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## Saffron

ahhhmaaaan! said:


> Saffron- "I'm trying because of my children. Ultimately, they will not be the reason I stay. If I stay, it will because I'm in a fulfilling loving relationship with my husband."
> 
> Lilyana- "I am a firm believer that kids are better off with two happy parents that are apart, rather than two unhappy parents that stay together for them."
> 
> Exactly my point. Why stay if YOUR heart isn't into it. I know that the children's well being is most important here, but to come to resent your decision for staying because of them is not a good thing. Your happiness resonates with them. If they are constantly see you in a sad state, and always fighting with your WS because you have not come to terms with the betrayal- Believe me, they are going to notice. Kids are very perceptive. They should not be subjected to a toxic environment because some are of the opinion that you SHOULD R for their sake. That's all I'm saying. I say cop-out because it seems people are of the mind that this is the best course(R) even when thy're not feeling like reconciliation.


Huh, guess I didn't describe my relationship with my DS well enough. We are far from toxic. We have fun together, laugh, hug, kiss, and are planning our future. It's only been 3 months since d-day, so I'm not sure what the future will hold, but a better marriage seems possible. My heart is into rebuilding, but when you're having a bad day, just one look at the kids can help keep you focused.

We know the kids aren't going to be living with us forever. So one of the goals in getting over the affair, is making sure we connect on a deeper level. So when it's just the two of us someday, we'll have a strong bond. We're making plans and working towards that goal.

Guess I just take a little offense when post d-day marriages are thought to be hostile toxic enviornments full of screaming and crying. I handled myself well in front of the kids during the devastation stage, while I was coming to grips with the affair. Then we spent many long nights, while the kids were sleeping, talking it out. I enjoying being with my husband and look forward to seeing him everynight while we rebuild. What else can I say, except, I love him.


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## Rob774

I wish Shane would return to us and give us an update. I feel sorry for him, he's did what most of us would do, forgive after the EA. Most people caught... that would be enough for them to right the ship. Somehow, someway, his wife didn't respect him, didn't love him enough to change her ways. After strike 2... she would not call my house her home...ever again. Its not fair for Shane to live like this. Everytime she'd be a few minutes late from coming somewhere, his mind would start to wander. Unfortunately, his lack of updating us tells me one thing... that he's let her back in and he's concerned what our reactions might be. But i could be wrong, sorry if i am.


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## Count of Monte Cristo

Shane said:


> I did read your post and totally feel for you as well. Our situations are very similar. I'm not sure if you have kids, but this is the only thing that's holding me back from getting rid of her. Not sure how I will weather the storm though. I'm going through a whole host of emotions that I have never felt before such as extreme anger and self pity.
> 
> WhenI asked her why she betrayed me a second time especially when i forgave her the first time, she cannot answer and just states that* this time she really means it*. Can you believe her!


This:


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## badbane

Shane said:


> Thank you everyone for your replies. As weird as this sounds, It's comforting to know that I am not the only one who has gone through such hurt.
> 
> I just can't get over the hurt. There is a pain in my heart that just won't go away. I have never felt like this before and I'm not sure I will ever get over this. She is the only one I ever loved and I know nothing else but her - I can't even remember my life without her.
> I was also her first as well so I sometimes wonder whether she feels she missed out on some "fun" by getting married to her first love.
> 
> I have spoken to Sue and she kicked her husband out for a few days but she has taken him back now. Said that she has no choice but to forgive him "for the kids." Seems like they have started to repair their lives and move on. My wife wants me to do the same and can't seem to understand why I can't forgive like Sue. She is begging and pleading me to take her back. He actions seem genuine but I cannot be certain. Her parents have also begged me to give her another chance. They are very traditional and feel that I should make this happen for the kids. They said they would give the same advise to their daughter if it was I who cheated. They seem totally torn up.
> 
> I am in a whole lot of emotional pain. I have this lump in my throat that just won't go away. I'm not sure how long I can take this pain. Anybody here recommend anti-depressants as an option to end this perpetual heartache? I have never taken them before but I'm at my wits end here.


Shane whatever you do now. Do if for yourself. Do the 180 for yourself. I does not matter if Sue takes back her husband. She is not you and has her own mind/issues. I doubt she realizes exactly what she is taking on. Your WW parents are going to try and stand by their daughter cause that's just what parents do. 

Right now you should think about you and your kids. A marriage with trust issues can survive. A marriage without trust can't survive. Your kids are young enough to be able to adjust to this. 
So, what do you want?
IF you want your life to go back to the way it was and take you wife back. You will face a long hard emotional battle. You know you can't sweep this under a rug any more. So you are left with IC and MC and years of trust issues. That still could lead to you not being able to trust her again. 

If you want to leave you need to get a lawyer and work out your legal issues. 

D is terrible but it is better than a fake marriage with no love and permanent distrust. The only outcome to this is misery and eventually one of you going outside your marriage again.
R is no fun either and it requires that you be able to eventually trust again, To forgive (not forget), and to be happy with your WW.

Take your time in choosing this we are here for you. Just don't fall for peer pressure here. This is on you, your wife has done the damage, your kids will one day find out what happened. 
You were loyal to your wife and you gave her no good excuse to go out and shag this OM. The only thing you are guilty of is too much trust. Which in a healthy and working marriage isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

Whatever you decide to do we here at TAM will be here to listen and give whatever advice we can. Good luck.


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## Sara8

Shane said:


> All my dreams, hopes and aspirations have been shattered after I discovered that my wife had a full blown affair for over 2 years with a close family friend.
> 
> .


I am so sorry you are here. 

I think the fantasy she talks about is likely true. People who cheat do things with the affair partner that they can't or won't do with the spouse. 

With men it is Madonna who*&re syndrome with women it is the same syndrome but but needs a different name. 

Likely she never said to you that she couldn't wait to "ride you" or the other things she said in the emails. 

Fantasizing about leaving spouses too was likely a fantasy because you said he is not all that good looking. 

Affairs are about a fantasy world 

Still, it's sleazy, and so devastating to the faithful spouse.


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## Complexity

It's a zombie thread. Seeing as he hasn't come back, we can assume he gave her a 3rd chance


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## TBT

Complexity said:


> It's a zombie thread. Seeing as he hasn't come back, we can assume he gave her a 3rd chance


Or maybe more.


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## MattMatt

Why not pm him?


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## TBT

MattMatt said:


> Why not pm him?


TAM is probably a distant memory for him.


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## Count of Monte Cristo

Complexity said:


> It's a zombie thread. Seeing as he hasn't come back, we can assume he gave her a 3rd chance


I really need to start looking at the thread dates. This is the second time in a week that I got sucked into one of these.

Speaking of Zombies, I saw one of the best movies of the genre a few years ago. It was a British flick called 'Shawn of the Dead'.


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## lordmayhem

Not everyone can be helped in the beginning. The denial is so strong with some of the newly betrayed. At least he didn't react angrily or defensively like some do. Yes, he most likely rug swept it, but we all know that the resentment will build up in time. He might be back one day after he can't take it anymore, maybe under his original username or under another name.


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## Kallan Pavithran

I think the A was Physical from the begging. It will be better for him to do a DNA test on his last child.

Fool me once shame on you fool me twice ..........
I believe everyone deserve a second chance for the sake of children, but not a third chance. First time they were in fantasy land, when she was caught she saw the pain OP going through, the gravity of destruction she brought, she saw her marriage falling in front of her eyes, if she still disrespected her husband means she is a heart less *****. Who don't care for him or what happens to her children. She don't deserve a third chance.

I think the A is still going on or lying low, she will resume it as soon as he gave her the third chance, then fourth then....................


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## Complexity

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> I really need to start looking at the thread dates. This is the second time in a week that I got sucked into one of these.
> 
> Speaking of Zombies, I saw one of the best movies of the genre a few years ago. It was a British flick called 'Shawn of the Dead'.


Lol Americans really love this film, it's great, simon pegg is hilarious. The best zombie film and perhaps one of the best British films ever made, is "28 Days Later". Definitely check that out.


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