# Obsessed, confused and pissed



## totallyduped (Dec 29, 2011)

I don't even know where to begin. I am married to a recovering addict wsho is taking suboxone, was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder( still not so sure about that one) is ADHD, compulsive and impulsive, has a major spending problem, and for three years off and on has been commnicating with an ex. They are both very manipulative people and she is notorious for posting pictures of herself with male friends on Facebook. This all started with them because of Facebook , during which time my mother was dying of cancer. These two were flirting and I posted something derogatory on his page directed at her and she freaked. So he asked ME to send her an email to make her feel better. Recently he and my son got into an argument which led to a physical confrontation and a huge fight between he and I the next day. I made a comment about his Facebook Mistress and he told me I needed mental help because I am obsessed with some one he doesnt see or talk to. (She lives in New York, is married with 2 very young kids, one of which has diabetes) Her husband has no idea what has been going on. He basically made me and the kids leave for the week, but he did not know I knew he had been talking to her and she was coming in town that weekend. He denied she was in town even to his Father. Well she sent himthe pictures from the get together which consisted of a few people, but I found out by checking his phone he actually picke her up and since I was not home, I have no idea if or when he came home that night. He later told me he could have slept with her if he wanted to, but didn't. I wonder if in his infinite wisdom he realized what he was saying. I'm obsessed with this and I cant keep bringing it up because he gets furious and I dont want to rock the boat because my son is having a situation at school that really needs to be priority and I am starting a new job in two weeks. I realize I may never trust him orbelieve him again. I wish I could stop loving him. We've been together for 20 years, good and bad times including Hurricane Katrina. I wish I had the strength to tell him get lost and be done with it. How do you do that?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

totallyduped said:


> I don't even know where to begin. I am married to a recovering addict wsho is taking suboxone, was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder( still not so sure about that one) is ADHD, compulsive and impulsive, has a major spending problem, and for three years off and on has been communicating with an ex. They are both very manipulative people and she is notorious for posting pictures of herself with male friends on Facebook. This all started with them because of Facebook , during which time my mother was dying of cancer. These two were flirting and I posted something derogatory on his page directed at her and she freaked. So he asked ME to send her an email to make her feel better. Recently he and my son got into an argument which led to a physical confrontation and a huge fight between he and I the next day. I made a comment about his Facebook Mistress and he told me I needed mental help because I am obsessed with some one he doesn't see or talk to. (*She lives in New York, is married with 2 very young kids, one of which has diabetes) Her husband has no idea what has been going on. He basically made me and the kids leave for the week, but he did not know I knew he had been talking to her and she was coming in town that weekend.* He denied she was in town even to his Father. Well she sent him the pictures from the get together which consisted of a few people, but I found out by checking his phone he actually picked her up and since I was not home, I have no idea if or when he came home that night. He later told me he could have slept with her if he wanted to, but didn't. I wonder if in his infinite wisdom he realized what he was saying. I'm obsessed with this and I cant keep bringing it up because he gets furious and I don't want to rock the boat because my son is having a situation at school that really needs to be priority and I am starting a new job in two weeks. I realize I may never trust him or believe him again. I wish I could stop loving him. We've been together for 20 years, good and bad times including Hurricane Katrina. I wish I had the strength to tell him get lost and be done with it. How do you do that?


Your husband is having an affair with a married woman. You must contact her husband to inform him of the situation.

As far as what can you do for yourself. I would recommend that you implement *The 180 degrees rules* for two reasons. One it will help you to detach from him, emotionally speaking, and two, it will make you into an emotionally strong woman such that you will be able to move on with your life with or without your husband.


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