# My wife doesn't like to open up mouth while kissing



## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

Hi,

I already have another thread with generic issues but this one for a specific issue. My wife doesn't like to use tongue or even to open up the mouth while kissing, if I have to kiss then it is that she will close her lips (sometimes very tight) and then I will kiss but not more than a few seconds and if accidently my tongue touches her lips or if there is anything wet then its over she will push me away and clean her lips. What should I do, as I love to kiss and I love to use tongue and in past I had been a very good kisser.


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## Fight4IT (Aug 9, 2012)

Im dealing with something similar. I am complaining that my wife doesnt kiss me often enough. Some days not at all and when we do kiss its like kissing your grandmother or something. Closed mouth and pretty fast. I not looking for a high school make our session every time but I passionate kiss from time to time would be fine. I would like a kiss every day at the least of any kind.. granny kiss or not. I will say that when we make love she will kiss me with tongue open mouthed. 

So Bro I know that probably didnt help you at all but at least you know you're not alone. 

Maybe make sure your lips are not slimy wet and you have nice fresh breath.. If all else fails... Ask her.. lol

Good luck


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

Thanks Fight4It ..... But I have asked her millions of times ..... She just says no I don't like it nothing wet. ...... She has never ever initiated a kiss, or even tried to kiss me, Only if I ask her to kiss me then she would kiss me on cheeks. At non-sexual time, if I approach to kiss her she would just turn her face and offer her cheek for a kiss. I hate that. and if I insist to kiss then she will close her lips tight and then just stand still, and I wold feel like kissing a statue and gets really a turn off for me.

I have tried brushing my teeth and using the mouth wash and everything before a single kiss but never works I ask her to open up the mouth and she simply says no. Once I ask her that I would keep my lips dry and closed and she may just touch my lips with her tongue, but she said no and didn't do that even. 

But good to know I am not alone


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

My stbxh also dislikes open mouthed kissing. Frustrating for me because passionate kisses are such an incredible turn on for me and the lack makes me feel unwanted.

You're not alone. Alas, no helpful advice to share. Just sympathizing.


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## The Auditor (Aug 9, 2012)

New to the group and looking for similar issues to know I'm not alone, My wife also doesn't kiss, shame too... I also love to kiss it's a good way to get things rolling. Anyway I digress she seems to have a saliva phobia or something not that I'm a wet kisser never have been or maybe it's an excuse because she doesn't like the way I kiss. Anyway you're not alone on this one take care


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## Fight4IT (Aug 9, 2012)

If you don't mind me asking Needyforhelp how old is your wife. ,,

at Moxy.. I hear ya.. I think kissing is a very intimate act. I feel emotionally connected when well do actually kiss very passionately. Anybody can just go poking around sexually and that not feel that intimate but when you connect on that mental level and share a real good kiss its great. I really miss that about our relationship.


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

Fight4It

I am 31 and my wife is 30. We got married almost 3.5 years ago so I was 27 and she was 26 when we go married.


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## The Auditor (Aug 9, 2012)

I turn 47 on Saturday and she is 44 we have been married for 24 years and together for 25 and a 1/2


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## DDC (Jul 16, 2012)

needyForHelp said:


> Thanks Fight4It ..... But I have asked her millions of times ..... She just says no I don't like it nothing wet. ...... She has never ever initiated a kiss, or even tried to kiss me, Only if I ask her to kiss me then she would kiss me on cheeks. At non-sexual time, if I approach to kiss her she would just turn her face and offer her cheek for a kiss. I hate that. and if I insist to kiss then she will close her lips tight and then just stand still, and I wold feel like kissing a statue and gets really a turn off for me.
> 
> I have tried brushing my teeth and using the mouth wash and everything before a single kiss but never works I ask her to open up the mouth and she simply says no. Once I ask her that I would keep my lips dry and closed and she may just touch my lips with her tongue, but she said no and didn't do that even.
> 
> But good to know I am not alone


How would you describe the level of intimacy in your marriage?
Does she perform oral sex on you?
Do you perform oral sex on her?


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

WEll I would say no sexual intimacy ..... She never does and I am convinced she never would perform oral on me, I love to perform oral and have tried many times but she doesn't let me do it ..... she would just close down and push me away or even just finish everything happening if she finds out I am trying to perform oral. Sometimes if I want to have sex but she doesn't want to have it and I am pushing it too much then she might perform HJ but only if I have a condom on or will keep tissues near by and then leave right after I ejaculated but still in Orgasm to wash room to wash her hands. 

And in her mind the rule is if I have ejaculated ...... no matter how, the sex untill the next time (could be a week or even several weeks later) is over, that means there is no concept of having sex or any intimacy twice ....... if I manage to make her orgasm with hands ... then she won't let me touch her for a couple of minutes and then just lie down motion less for me to come over and get ejaculated in her ....... but obviously with atleast her shirt on and if I don't touch her anywhere especially her breasts.


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## Fight4IT (Aug 9, 2012)

needyForHelp said:


> WEll I would say no sexual intimacy ..... She never does and I am convinced she never would perform oral on me, I love to perform oral and have tried many times but she doesn't let me do it ..... she would just close down and push me away or even just finish everything happening if she finds out I am trying to perform oral. Sometimes if I want to have sex but she doesn't want to have it and I am pushing it too much then she might perform HJ but only if I have a condom on or will keep tissues near by and then leave right after I ejaculated but still in Orgasm to wash room to wash her hands.
> 
> And in her mind the rule is if I have ejaculated ...... no matter how, the sex untill the next time (could be a week or even several weeks later) is over, that means there is no concept of having sex or any intimacy twice ....... if I manage to make her orgasm with hands ... then she won't let me touch her for a couple of minutes and then just lie down motion less for me to come over and get ejaculated in her ....... but obviously with atleast her shirt on and if I don't touch her anywhere especially her breasts.


Wow man. The age thing I was thinking she was just really young and inexperienced but that does'nt really fit. Was she a virgin when you first were intimate together ? 

I she a germ-a-phobe (please dont take offense I mean no disrespect) Does she always need to be washing her hands and stuff. 

Im no expert. I've been with my wife for 16 years and have only been with one other women. Just sounds very odd to me.


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## DDC (Jul 16, 2012)

needyForHelp said:


> WEll I would say no sexual intimacy ..... She never does and I am convinced she never would perform oral on me, I love to perform oral and have tried many times but she doesn't let me do it ..... she would just close down and push me away or even just finish everything happening if she finds out I am trying to perform oral. Sometimes if I want to have sex but she doesn't want to have it and I am pushing it too much then she might perform HJ but only if I have a condom on or will keep tissues near by and then leave right after I ejaculated but still in Orgasm to wash room to wash her hands.
> 
> And in her mind the rule is if I have ejaculated ...... no matter how, the sex untill the next time (could be a week or even several weeks later) is over, that means there is no concept of having sex or any intimacy twice ....... if I manage to make her orgasm with hands ... then she won't let me touch her for a couple of minutes and then just lie down motion less for me to come over and get ejaculated in her ....... but obviously with atleast her shirt on and if I don't touch her anywhere especially her breasts.


Do either of you have any previous sexual experience?


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## lalsr1988 (Apr 16, 2012)

needyForHelp said:


> WEll I would say no sexual intimacy ..... She never does and I am convinced she never would perform oral on me, I love to perform oral and have tried many times but she doesn't let me do it ..... she would just close down and push me away or even just finish everything happening if she finds out I am trying to perform oral. Sometimes if I want to have sex but she doesn't want to have it and I am pushing it too much then she might perform HJ but only if I have a condom on or will keep tissues near by and then leave right after I ejaculated but still in Orgasm to wash room to wash her hands.
> 
> And in her mind the rule is if I have ejaculated ...... no matter how, the sex untill the next time (could be a week or even several weeks later) is over, that means there is no concept of having sex or any intimacy twice ....... if I manage to make her orgasm with hands ... then she won't let me touch her for a couple of minutes and then just lie down motion less for me to come over and get ejaculated in her ....... but obviously with atleast her shirt on and if I don't touch her anywhere especially her breasts.


Wow she acts like she thinks sex is dirty...maybe sit her down and tell her that ain't what you signed on for...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

Yes she was a virgin when we got married. and I am sureshe is not germ-o-phobic for sure. Its not like she has a disease of being anti-germic .... but yes she would wash hands before eating or cooking. In a very normal way.


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## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

I read your other post that this was an arranged marriage. It sounds like your wife is not attracted to you and it makes her uncomfortable when you try anything sexual or intimate with her.

Is it at all possible that she was with or in love with someone else prior to the arrangment with you and there's resentment or something there?


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

DDC ......

She didn't have any sexual experience before getting married but I did .... I had a few girlfriends and hence had sexual experience ...... where I had all kinds of intimacy, kissing orals ..... trying different positions for sex.


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

Well as I know her and her family ...... She was not involved with anyone, she had alsways been like this, a completely non-sexual or completely no sexual emotions ....... 
And as long as I know its not like she hates me, I know and am pretty sure she loves me, but she likes me like a friend may be best friend and like to have all other relations ..... but not anything related to sex. 

Sometimes, once in a blue moon, if she is really feeling it then she would ride me and will actually ask to grab and even suck her breasts but without letting me insert my penis in her ......... and would get orgasm with nipples and rubbing on my ****. 

But thats once in a blue moon.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

After reading that description of the OP's sex, the least of his problems are a closed mouth kiss. I should feel lucky in comparison. my wife may be LD, only bang a handful of times a month, not into kissing after cunnilingus and all, but I feel bad for that guy.


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

Thanks "40isthenew20" ....... but thats how it is and have no idea what to do ..... and above that I am extremely HD


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## tnhusband (Mar 28, 2012)

To the OP - you're not alone. My wife at 40 just doesn't like to kiss. Even during wild kinky sex. Never has.
When we first dated she kissed more but she admits that's because she knew she was supposed to. She doesn't like it. Not with her ex's either.

She will however give me the greatest BJ's ever to completion.
So she's not a germaphobe. We have anal play and do all kinds of crazy things - but kissing doesn't do it for her.

In moments of extreme arousal I will kiss her and she will kiss back but it's rare.

I don't like it but I have got used to it. It helps that she makes up for it in otherways. 

OP - I can see how her being conservative in other areas would make it really tough on anyone.

My only suggestion for you is communicate about it - without coming across as needy/wussy/Nice Guy - and figure out what turns her on and increases her libido.


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## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

I had a girl friend who used to enjoy getting oral from me, and won't get tired of getting it ..... but would never give me oral and just say "She feels it dirty", that made me pissed so I stopped giving her oral and she asked why did I stop doing it and I said, I also feel its dirty .... and next day she started giving me BJ's ........ but I had a healthy sexual relationship with her, and we did experiment anything ....... but now with my wife there is no room for experiments ......... I am not allowed to touch her except dedicated places on her body, I am not allowed to kiss her except dedicated places in her body ....... and if we do any sex then she will not involve herself in it AT ALL, HER JOB (IN HER POINT OF VIEW) IS JUST TO LIE DOWN AND PROVIDE ME A HOLE TO PUT IT IN ......... Thats it. And she is neither comfirtable in talking about it. And when ever I try to talk about it she will either get annoyed and just try to avoid the discussion or just say, I have low libido what can I do about it?


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