# Im Not Cheating But My Husband Doesnt Think So?



## Xanax (Sep 9, 2012)

Im married 1 year to my husband and we've been together for around 3 years in total. Im pregnant with my first kid atm (5 weeks pregnant) and things been really rough between me and my husband *before we found out that im pregnant* (we found out last week). It really changed everything and we actually happy and treat each other nicely.

Today my husband found out that my Facebook account isnt fully deactivated (yep, deactivating thru mobile sometimes fails) and he flipped because I accepted friend from online game i play and he posted something on my wall AGES AGO that i dont even remember or replied to. I supposed to deactivated my Fb because hes been "divorcing" me and i dont want the news to be spread on Fb because its embarrassing for me.

I accepted the friend when we were separating (he "divorced" me so many times that i started to hate my self that i didnt have the courage to walk away and that i dont have self respect). I dont hide anything, thats why i left his post on my wall (i mean, not deleting it) and i dont talk to him. I know this cannot justify why im okay to accept him, but i just dont see how is that not fair because we were separating and he even went to play pool with a guy and a female friend (he didnt even tell me, i found out because he left his Fb open and i saw his message to this chick asking if she want to play pool with him and she gave him her number). I dont even know if the guy friend even there, cause theres no proof? I didnt make a big deal out of it and when i confronted him, he said sorry and it was just pool and its with "another guy friend" too. Allright, i bought that and we moved on.

So anyway, today he flipped and now he want a divorce and called me sl*t and whoarr and he just want to kill me. He said it infront of my parents as well. He said im cheating on him which is wdf cause i dont sleep with anyone ? He said he cant accept the fact that i accepted the dude in the first place, and he doesnt care that it happened like when we were separating and that now im actually forgive him for all his mistake in the past (took me for granted, threatened to kill me, keep on divorcing me, etc) and im happy (cause of the baby).

Can i get peoples opinion on this? I just dont get it....

Ty for reading and sorry for my grammar....


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Guys don't have female friends. Only chicks they want to bang. Sounds like he's projecting. Cheaters usually accuse their spouses of cheating because they figure if they're getting away with it so easily, their spouses probably are too. Pregnancy is one of the biggest times a guy will cheat on a woman. Women tend to cheat deep into a long unhappy relationship.


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## Xanax (Sep 9, 2012)

kipani said:


> Guys don't have female friends. Only chicks they want to bang. Sounds like he's projecting. Cheaters usually accuse their spouses of cheating because they figure if they're getting away with it so easily, their spouses probably are too. Pregnancy is one of the biggest times a guy will cheat on a woman. Women tend to cheat deep into a long unhappy relationship.


I never brought up that subject again (only the first time i confronted him) and today when i said to him how hes such a hipocrit (because he hid that crap too and i didnt even hide my friend's post or even WENT OUT WITH HIM without telling)----he said that its different and he went out with another guy friend too (which no one would know if its true or not).

But im only 5 weeks pregnant and i just found out about my pregnancy like last week. And his "going out" happened like 2 month-ish ago when we were separating.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Is abortion an option? Don't have kids with this guy.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

> took me for granted, threatened to kill me, keep on divorcing me, etc


How old are you guys ? You need to get out of this relationship. I don't know his side of the story but this is a unhealthy relationship


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## Xanax (Sep 9, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Is abortion an option? Don't have kids with this guy.


No, im so excited about the baby...  my husband said he doesnt care about the baby anyway, i can keep the baby he doesnt care. I dont know if hed change his mind after the babys born though.....


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Congratulations about your little baby. I do think you should try to break it off with this guy. He really doesn't sound like he even cares. He just wants to possess you, not love you.


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## Xanax (Sep 9, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> How old are you guys ? You need to get out of this relationship. I don't know his side of the story but this is a unhealthy relationship


Im 22, and hes 23. I went to IC before once, and my counselor called police on him. In his defense, he cant cope with my depression, OCD, and anxiety. I always bottle my feeling inside because im scared of him, im scared that he would flip and make **** bigger and im always the one to beg for him to stay etc. Thats why i learned to swallow whatever bothers me, and i always xanax it up. he said i could always talk to him when hes in the happy mood, but how would i know he wouldnt get angry? I dont wanna take the risk...... And sometimes when im not doing good enough bottling my feelings, id be so quiet and my husband would get pissed cause "i look depressed". I had three failed suicide attempt recently and i was under medication before.



kipani said:


> Congratulations about your little baby. I do think you should try to break it off with this guy. He really doesn't sound like he even cares. He just wants to possess you, not love you.


Thank you  Im thinking of the divorce too, but im not so sure. how can we know its time to move on or still hang in there?


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

wow. Looking at the posts you made I feel that you both need to be with other people. After such a short time, threats of harm, divorce and what appears to be very intense arguments this relationships appears to be in the back end of crisis. As a parent if Id heard these threats Id have packed your cases and taken you out of that environment there and then. IMO I think unless something incredible happens you need to get legal support and get out of there. I dont think its going to get any easier....


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## Xanax (Sep 9, 2012)

He read the thread and i feel unfair to not post some of his side of story.

He said the reason why the counselor called police on him was because I was too lazy to go to my next appointment and she thought that he killed me. He wasnt happy with the counselor scause the counselor is a woman and shed always be on my side. I decided not to go because he said he doesn't like her and he said he will fix our problem.

He said the reason why he kept on leaving me was because I never talk to him about my feelings etc, he has no reason to be with me cause I can't make him happy, I'm a horrible wife.

He said his case is different with mine because he went with anther guy as well. But he knew that I don't like him hanging out with girls as well. In his defense again, he said I want him to hang out and (again) it's with another guy friend too -- 3 peoples. And in my case, it's my "decision" to CLICK ACCEPT on his friend request. And how he already told me that hedont want me to be friendly with guys. I don't see how come his "decision" to ASK THAT CHICK doesn't count.


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

edit: NVM,

I think I'll keep well clear of this trainwreck


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

This isn't really the place for you to get the help you desperately need. Go back to the counsellor you saw before again. She has your best interests at heart.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Okay how about this Tell us the whole story. From the start to finish from your POV. I mean you aren't giving any backstory which means that either you don't want us to know it or you want us to get involved in a he said, she said, argument. Tell us the story from the start and no holding back. TAM can see BS from a thousand miles away. Tell us everything.


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