# Oral sex advice



## kelliwoods00 (Sep 22, 2010)

My husband recently told me that my oral sex technique could use some work. I've tried following his cues, but he's not that good at communicating his bedroom preferences. I've never really liked giving blowjobs, but i want to please my husband since i love him to death and he's always very sensitive to my needs in the bedroom. So I thought I would turn to this forum for advice on two issues related to blowjobs:

1) Why do men like this so much? What's the difference between a BJ and a handjob or straight sex? My husband has no answer. For the life of me, I just don't understand the appeal, and it's hard for me to overcome the feeling that blowjobs are demeaning to women. I resist this feeling when by husband asks me for it since I know he respects me and isn't trying to demean me, but perhaps it's affecting my performance. I'm not judging, but understanding the why would get me over my hangups and help me with the how. 

2) Does anyone have any tips? I've looked at some of the older threads, but thought a fresh BJ thread wouldn't hurt. Links would also be appreciated (but please, no porn).


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

ok, well, I'll give this a shot since I like giving them to my boyfriend (which I never enjoyed giving them to anyone before). 

He really likes it if I use my hand to kind of squeeze whatever of the penis isn't in my mouth. He also likes if I play with testicles, or run a finger between his legs. He also really enjoys it when I take just the head in my mouth and suck really hard like a lollipop. 

Other than that, best advice I can give you is that it seems that if you're enthusiastic, it goes a long way.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

The closest I can get to describing it - try touching the inside of your mouth with your finger, then use your tongue on it...feels nice doesn't it?? lol Imagine how the penis feels inside the mouth! WOW lol

It's not at all demeaning if you're doing it to someone you love especially your husband. 

Google "oral sex tips" or "bj tips". There's a lot of info and tips out there. Also, you could watch some porn to see how they do it and try to imitate? Practice on a cucumber lol I know it sounds silly but it could help!

My tip...lick/suck it like a lollipop...it's so smooth once the foreskin is back that it feels good on the tongue!


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

Don't look at it as being demeaning. I know that's not easy for you since that's how you see it but try this instead. Think of all the control you have over him in that moment. You have something so important to him IN YOUR MOUTH and he cannot do a thing to stop you from hurting him. You control how he feels, you control when he goes, what he feels, etc. Think about it in that way when you do it next time and see if that helps. I know if I'm not in the mood to do it, I just skip it or use it for foreplay, but when I'm in the mood, i'll do it and swallow with pleasure lol


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband really likes blow jobs. He is always very happy that I want to give him blow jobs. He appreciates me a lot that I give him blow jobs often. He always jokes about his ten-minute blow job he never gets. Oh, MAN, it is tiring, OK! But I always give him blow jobs since he loves them.

My mouth doesn't go up and down a lot. I rotate. I always focus on his head. I circle my tongue around his head. There is a place (the under side of the head of the penis, the place where two sides join, I don't know how to describe))which is very sensitive. I focus there and circle around. I play with his eye too. Try to stick my tongue into it. When I get tired of doing this, then I go up and down, slowly, never fast. If I go fast, I become tired. And my husband told me too fast isn't good. 
I can never make him come, I only make him horny. I don't try hard enough, if he wants to come, he can use my puxxy. 
But I like giving him blow jobs because I know he enjoys them so much. I don't get any fun. But when he is trying hard to lick my puxxy and make me come, I know I should return the favor.


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## MissLayla1986 (Aug 27, 2010)

I really enjoy giving bjs and i like to think i'm pretty good at it (at least according to my husband ;-) ), so i'll chime in my two cents. my husband is the only man i've ever been with, but i've traded tips and perspectives on bjs with my cousins and girlfriends before (what can i say, girls talk ;-) ), so this is a pretty comprehensive take on bjs from a woman's perspective. warning: explicit language follows.

giving a good bj really is a powerful skill. girls who don't like it might want to reconsider your aversion to it and try to get good at it; when i give my husband an intense bj, he becomes like putty in my hands. he treats me like a queen and cheerfully does anything i ask. my friends say the same thing. it may be some kind of macho thing or an ego trip for a guy to watch a girl assume a submissive position and perform a sexual act exclusively for his pleasure, so i can understand why some girls might see it as demeaning. but because i also enjoy it and my husband responds so positively to it, the submissive aspect doesn't bother me at all. i don't see it as demeaning if your man shows genuine appreciation for it. in any case, i'm not a guy, so i'll let the guys tackle that part of your question. but speaking as a woman, i can tell you that there is no better way to get your man to do what you want than a good bj.

the most important thing is to try to take him into your mouth as far as you can. my husband is a little on the big side (about 7.5 in. erect), so I compensate for not being able to take him in all the way by getting creative with my tongue and my hands. generally, the underside is more sensitive than the top, which is good since your tongue faces the underside. i've found that the most sensitive part is the fleshy part of the underside near the tip. my husband loves it when i tickle it with the tip of my tongue as i'm moving up. I also keep my tongue slightly curled, which helps with suction. the part that I can't fit into my mouth i try to stroke with my hand. my husband is not really into this, but some guys like having their balls licked. my husband prefers that i tickle them instead. 

before i take him into my mouth, i'll engage in a little "bj foreplay" by gently blowing (literally), kissing, and licking along his ****. sometimes, i'll suck on an ice cube for a few minutes before getting started, since he likes the cold sensation. i use a little dirty talk to get him worked up; tell him how big his **** is, how horny it makes me, how i love the feel of it in my mouth, etc. another thing that drives my husband wild is when I start out by kissing him on the lips, then run my tongue from his chin and neck along his chest all the way down to his ****, all the while maintaining eye contact. this works best when he's lying down.

also, try to change up positions, as each position has its unique advantages. if he's lying down, try arching your back so that he can feel your boobs rubbing against his legs. you can also reach up and run your hand along his chest and stomach (great for your pleasure if your man works out and has nice pecs or a six-pack). if he's sitting upright, try slowly rubbing his thighs in a rhythm that corresponds with your strokes. alternatively, you could use your fingernails. lying down or sitting lets him feel on your boobs, but standing up might give him a better view if you use a mirror. my husband's favorite position is him standing up facing a full-length mirror and me on my knees wearing only a thong or a g-string; in this position, i grab his ass and run my hands along the back of his thighs. he also likes it when i slap his ass. sometimes, instead of facing the mirror he'll turn sideways; in this position, he likes it when i touch myself or squeeze my boobs while giving him head, which he gets a good view of in the mirror. 

in my experience, bjs are most enjoyable when you're both completely naked or almost naked. this maximizes skin-to-skin contact. my husband obviously likes it when i'm naked so he can see/feel my boobs, but if he asks me for a bj and we're at home, i insist that he get naked too since the more turned on I am, the better the bj. the only exception to this is role-playing; sometimes, we'll go to the study and he'll sit in the chair while i give him head from under the desk while we're both fully clothed. apparently, according to my husband, getting a bj by a hot secretary from under a desk is every man's fantasy (and i told him that if he ever acts on it, i'll bite his **** off ;-) ).

ask your husband whether he prefers that you spit, swallow, or take it in the face. a lot of guys are ashamed or embarrassed to tell you what they want in this department, so you might have to ask him straight up. contrary to popular belief, not all guys prefer it when women swallow. my husband likes to "pop" in my mouth, but he doesn't care whether i spit or swallow. he comes a lot though, so swallowing makes it easier for me to keep going until completion. if your man wants you to spit or take it in the face, be sure you have a box of tissues handy. some girls hate the taste of cum or hate to swallow it or are repulsed by the idea of taking a cum shower in the face, so assess your own comfort level as well (though if it's just a minor annoyance, i would advise that you tolerate it in anticipation of how he'll become your willing slave afterwards ;-) ). alternatively, you could take it on your boobs, some guys love that. in any case, tell him to let you know when he's about to come so you're prepared for it. 

i ask my husband to shave and wash regularly down there and to spray my favorite cologne on his pubic area (but not on his **** itself, since it tastes bitter). I've also told him to say my name while i'm giving him head; that turns me on too. he likes it when I wear bright red lipstick that smears on his ****.

as far as time and place, i try to oblige whenever my husband asks for a bj (he knows better than to ask at unreasonable times or to ask too often like every half an hour). men love spontaneous bjs, so sometimes i'll go down on him without him expecting it. once i woke him up in the morning with a bj, which he loved (he brought me home flowers that evening  ). when i'm on my period and can't have sex, i'll offer to give him a bj at times we would normally be having sex. i wouldn't encourage this, but the other day i gave my husband a bj while he was driving. that was REALLY hot. works best if you have a van or suv, which minimizes the risk of people seeing you. 

above all, you have to act like you're into it. even if you're not, fake it. eye contact, moaning, whatever he's into. body language is important, so squeeze your own boobs together or touch yourself if he's into that. use lots and lots of saliva. the key is to make him feel like a king so that he will treat you like a queen.


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

Wow, I love those tips.

I do all that atruckersgirl does, except while I squeeze I am moving up and down on his shaft (keep it wet with spit). I think the squeezing/moving maybe is what does it, more than the licking and sucking of the head.

Most of the time, he will want to finish inside me, but if not, then I swallow - never thought of asking him if he'd rather shoot on me.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Sara Ann said:


> Wow, I love those tips.
> 
> I do all that atruckersgirl does, except while I squeeze I am moving up and down on his shaft (keep it wet with spit). I think the squeezing/moving maybe is what does it, more than the licking and sucking of the head.
> 
> Most of the time, he will want to finish inside me, but if not, then I swallow - never thought of asking him if he'd rather shoot on me.


Sorry, guess I should have clarified, I move up and down as well. I thought that was a given.


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

I noticed a lack of responses from men, so I'll try my hand. Er, no pun intended.



kelliwoods00 said:


> 1) Why do men like this so much? What's the difference between a BJ and a handjob or straight sex?


It is difficult to describe the feeling to someone who doesn't have the equipment. Unless you are doing an in and out movement, it doesn't feel anything like intercourse, and even then it feels different. It's severely more stimulating (i think) because there is no other consideration to distract me from enjoying it. I don't have to worry about how fast or slow, how hard or soft, holding my hands here or there, touching this, licking that - it's is purely one-sided and I can really focus on feeling everything.

I am sure it's the same for women when they receive, but I imagine it's not too different.

Honestly the feeling is like bottled heaven.



kelliwoods00 said:


> 2) Does anyone have any tips? I've looked at some of the older threads, but thought a fresh BJ thread wouldn't hurt. Links would also be appreciated (but please, no porn).


I prefer to avoid being graphic, but the description lends itself to being so, so my apologies.

Firstly, the head is the most sensitive, so stimulation there is always good. If he is circumsized, there is a small channel of skin just on the underside right below the head that kind looks like it's attaching the head to the shaft - that is also very sensitive and moving your tongue in and out against that should give him a good jump.

My wife also does this thing that drives me wild - she holds the base with her hand and squeezes, and puts everything above her hand in her mouth, then with both her hand and mouth does a firm in and out motion while twisting her hand around at the same time. I hope you can understand from the description. I seriously can't take more than 30 seconds of this without having an orgasm, once she builds up to it.

The last BJ I had was probably over 18 months ago and I remember that like it was yesterday, so it's probably a pretty good move.


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## candice912 (Sep 4, 2010)

kelliwoods00 said:


> My husband recently told me that my oral sex technique could use some work. I've tried following his cues, but he's not that good at communicating his bedroom preferences.
> 
> Bless you for being brave enough to ask and shame on your husband for criticizing you without giving you any suggestions! He's lucky that you even try given your feelings. To help you get over your feelings, try 69 side by side. That way since it's mutual, it should help you get over the demeaning part. As for your husband, if he wants something different, he needs to be specific, not just criticize you. In my experience, every guy wants something a little different, a little harder, a little softer, a little faster, hands; no hands, so only he can tell you what that is that he wants. My husband doesn't want the same thing as my ex and I imagine your husband may want something else too.
> 
> Some others gave you good tips on here, so I wont repeat, but tell your husband to stop with the criticism. I can tell you why you don't like it; nobody likes to make an effort like that and be criticized. Tell him that he will get a good bj when you get a good explanation from him.


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

Some great tips on here. I too have no prob with BJ's and love the challenge of getting my husband off. Its a very intimate act and I can see why you think its demeaning but I think if its a voluntary act and youre both in the mood then it can be wonderful & fun. 
One of the biggest keys is looking into it. The more excited I look about the husbands **** then the more aroused he becomes. I like wearing a sexy boob top while performing. The sexier you look to him then the easier it will be to get him off. Own that **** - dont look shy or like youre doubting yourself. Give yourself a pep talk and focus on rocking your physical attributes into the performance too. Ill usually straddle him and suck on his neck a while. Then give him some tongue french action before unbuttoning his shirt. Then unzip the fly and sometimes I will pull his jeans down a little but put my mouth on his boxers and blow a little hot air on his **** while warming my own hands on his thighs. You dont want cold hands on is shaft!!! pull his boxers down with your mouth and give him a sexy grin then focus on getting it up if hes not hard already. Take it in your mouth and slowly pull it out... repeat until hard. Once hard do the tongue teasing of his "spot" under the head and tongue swirls down the shaft with firm tongue pressure. Gently take his balls in your hand delicately and slowly pull on them a little. Rub his **** on your lips and cheeks while looking at him. Throw your hair back a few times and then make a loose fist with your good hand (be sure your hands are soft before) and keep an open tiny tube of flavored lube close by so you can rub some on him before you commit to making him orgasm. Your pinky/palm part of your fist should act like the entrance of your p**** so keep it a tiny bit tight and then adjust your fist to fit his **** as you slide down. Poke his head out the top by your thumb and finger and then lick it all over until u eventually have his head in your mouth and your lips should touch your hand. Use this hand tube & mouth combo to start pumping him in a rhythm... pay attention to his cues of the perfect speed which will often mimic the speed he actually f***s you with. Every time your hand comes you can slowly twirl it and eac time his head goes in your mouth you should be tonue swirling him quickly and hitting the spot. Moan a little while in action and rub your ****y on his leg. touch his chest with your free hand and keep going!! he should be off in no time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

........uh......yeah, unless he's dead, that'd work (whew).


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## MotoDude (Sep 15, 2010)

MissLayla1986 said:


> I really enjoy giving bjs and i like to think i'm pretty good at it (at least according to my husband ;-) ), so i'll chime in my two cents. my husband is the only man i've ever been with, but i've traded tips and perspectives on bjs with my cousins and girlfriends before (what can i say, girls talk ;-) ), so this is a pretty comprehensive take on bjs from a woman's perspective. warning: explicit language follows.
> 
> giving a good bj really is a powerful skill. girls who don't like it might want to reconsider your aversion to it and try to get good at it; when i give my husband an intense bj, he becomes like putty in my hands. he treats me like a queen and cheerfully does anything i ask. my friends say the same thing. it may be some kind of macho thing or an ego trip for a guy to watch a girl assume a submissive position and perform a sexual act exclusively for his pleasure, so i can understand why some girls might see it as demeaning. but because i also enjoy it and my husband responds so positively to it, the submissive aspect doesn't bother me at all. i don't see it as demeaning if your man shows genuine appreciation for it. in any case, i'm not a guy, so i'll let the guys tackle that part of your question. but speaking as a woman, i can tell you that there is no better way to get your man to do what you want than a good bj.
> 
> ...


wow..wow..wow..wow...wow...wow...wow...wow....Wife dont even give me a BJ, but I go down on her all the time and some time she shy for me to go down on her.


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## pulse (Mar 24, 2010)

Once you get to a point where you do feel comfortable with giving BJs, another position you might want to try is to lie on your back and have your husband straddle you (one of his knees on either side of your head). You can still do all the usual licking, sucking, gripping, nibbling, swirling with your mouth, lips and hand as others have said, not to mention you can rub his shaft over your cheeks if you feel the need to give your jaw a break mid way through. Also in this position, hubby gets the opportunity to really clearly see me take him in my mouth etc which I guess is a turn on. 

Just be sure to keep your hand on his organ so you can stop him thrusting deeper than you are comfortable with should he get a little carried away.

I don't usually get any verbal feedback from my husband but judging by the fact he clasps his hands over his head, really rides, thrusts, grunts, moans and the heavy breathing, I guess he's having a reasonably good time! 

We've done 69 with each of us lying on our sides in the past but I've yet to try 69 with him on his back and me sitting on his face so to speak which might be interesting, but so far I've not worked up the courage to try this position.

Kelliwood - if you feel able to say a bit about what you normally do when giving a BJ this might help posters to give you advice which is more targeted to your situation.


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## kelliwoods00 (Sep 22, 2010)

Thank you so much everyone for your advice (especially MissLayla, your husband must be one happy camper  ).

I should clarify one thing: the reason my husband is not good at communicating his preferences is because English is not his first language and I can't speak his native language (we're an inter-racial couple). Sex is a subject he finds it difficult to talk about not because he's shy or awkward, but because of the language barrier. But he is very attentive to my needs and is pretty good at giving me what I want, so I think I should do my best to please him.

I think my blowjob hangups are just lingering effects from my hard core feminist days back in college. I've mellowed out quite a bit since then, so hopefully I can get over it soon.

I hadn't tried much of what was mentioned above or in the previous threads, so you've given me a lot to work with. Thanks again!


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

KW,
I am 47 - very happily married to my first and only wife, together 22, married 21. Sex life - awesome. 

The oral thing - and I think this is true in both directions - means that your partner is 100 percent focused on you and giving you pleasure. 

This may sound simplistic, however it is remarkably true for most hetero relationships. For a male, the ultimate measure of how emotionally "into you" your female partner is can be measured by:
- how frequently you have sex AND
- how focused she is on making it great for YOU, when she has sex with you

I think this is true in both directions but it is MORE true for the female to male simply because I have known men who are into their wives sexually but not that much overall. 

But a woman. If she finds you hot, but you are a lame partner. Either weak (emotionally) or immature, or lazy, she loses respect for you. And once that goes the sexual part of your relationship dies with it like night follows day. 

As for it being "demeaning" - I can't help you there. To me, intensely pleasing your partner is the ultimate "ILY". It far surpasses words, gifts, etc. 

When I give her a long full body massage, lots of oral foreplay and then intense sex - that is the best. And when she does the same in reverse - I call it getting an "endorphine bath". It leaves me literally floating. 

Having someone - totally expert in your body - completely focused on driving you mad - that never ever gets boring. So when married people say sex is boring I am always thinking "you must be doing something very different than we are"



kelliwoods00 said:


> My husband recently told me that my oral sex technique could use some work. I've tried following his cues, but he's not that good at communicating his bedroom preferences. I've never really liked giving blowjobs, but i want to please my husband since i love him to death and he's always very sensitive to my needs in the bedroom. So I thought I would turn to this forum for advice on two issues related to blowjobs:
> 
> 1) Why do men like this so much? What's the difference between a BJ and a handjob or straight sex? My husband has no answer. For the life of me, I just don't understand the appeal, and it's hard for me to overcome the feeling that blowjobs are demeaning to women. I resist this feeling when by husband asks me for it since I know he respects me and isn't trying to demean me, but perhaps it's affecting my performance. I'm not judging, but understanding the why would get me over my hangups and help me with the how.
> 
> 2) Does anyone have any tips? I've looked at some of the older threads, but thought a fresh BJ thread wouldn't hurt. Links would also be appreciated (but please, no porn).


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I say WOW, so many "arousing" responses on here, as you read MissLayla & LoveLieswithin, the "enthusiam" they have for pleasing their husbands just emanates & truly, this IS the key. Men can feel this, this IS what brings them to the mountain tops. Is their anything more beautiful we can do to show them we love & cherish them?

I want you to know, no matter what struggle you have with the act itself (feeling demeaning or anything else), this mindset CAN change. Please be encouraged in every way!! I have changed SOOOOO much in this area alone, it is almost laughable looking back. And oh have we laughed! 

I used to look at oral sex as "dirty", I didn't want to be there, I was uncomfortable, I was So patetically bad at it , I never even finished him off , I would offer one for a bribe if I wanted something else, Is any other woman this pathetic on here? I even told my husband once I felt the male organ was homely! Boy was I clueless, even obknoxious! He struggled with that comment for years. Even him doing me , I had issues with, the whole time I could not understand how he could possibly enjoy that. Even though it felt so good, my mind literally was blocking my receptive pleasure, I used to push him away.  Lord, I was screwed up in this area. No wonder he didnt ask for them. 

Much of this , for me , had to do with a mindset I was raised with, feeling certain parts of sex was somehow wrong /dirty, the few scenes of porn I viewed was Oral, and loving couples just did not "act" like that. Of coarse this is ALL wrong thinking !! Just as you seem to recognize that some of your feminist upbringing teachings may have influenced why you feel as you do, they have followed you. 

Good for you to acknowlege these things, I only wish I had searched these things out earlier in my marraige. 

And here I am today, I literally want to give him that pleasure every single day, sometimes I think I want to do it MORE than he wants to receive it. I am sure this is not true, but I possess that spirited enthusiam of MissLayla & LoveLiesWithin, I can relate so fully to the high they get lavishing their men. Now, doing this is all I need for forplay, it does that much for ME. 

What helped set me on the right, or I should say Arousing path to LOVING this act is ....Reading books about it, talking on this forum, plus I know my hormones were raging too- this definetly helps. This was one of my 1st reads : Amazon.com: Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (9780060834395): Ian Kerner: Gateway I adored this book, I could not get enough of it, it aroused me, it gave me confidence, once I started doing these things, I found I loved them more than I could have EVER imagined. 

My husband is also quiet like yours, he says very little, but it doesn't take long, after trying various ways to touch & tease, lick & suck, what drives him over the edge. But still never be content to do the same thing every time. Always use both your hands (one on his shaft/balls, one roaming his chest,grabbing his butt softly, his legs), use your leg, rub your breasts on him during, the mouth always coming back, use every body part you can at the same time during a BJ. A few occasions he would tell me a little slower (he prefers slow over fast), squeeze a little more here and OH when he grabs the back of my head, that is when you know he is putty, he is totaly lost in pleasure & he's gonna blow! That is the most exciting for me. Who needs words. You can feel it all right there in your mouth. I simply can't get enough of doing this to him.


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## MotoDude (Sep 15, 2010)

I am glad I found this site, so many interesting post and learned alot. This one hits me hard...just WOW, what the hell have I been missing. My wife does not like to give BJ and when she does it max 1 min then lets get it over with.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

Others have addressed the how to do it. Here is my take on why men love it so much. Women you need to read this. 

Suppose you are a women. On a day when you were tired mentally/physically your husband arranged to get a sitter and/or called your boss to get a day off. Then he made arrangements to have your favorite food delivered to the room of a hotel. Then he drew you a warm bubble bath and placed the beverage of your choice in hand and played relaxing music. I He would then play your favorite chick flick and watch if with you and actually pretend convincingly to enjoy it. Then to top it off he gave you a foot massage. After you fell asleep he cuddled you. Imagine he did all this without expecting sex or anything else in return. To top things of in the morning he had a warm cup of your favorite beverage/coffee ready for you when you woke up and you spent the next day doing whatever you wanted with him. Doing all this with an attitude of being grateful and happy. All this simply to make you happy and again all this without asking for anything in return. He would do this all because it would make you feel like a Queen right? 

Servicing your man Orally is that same special treat to him. The beauty of it is that it takes minutes not hours. Perhaps it may be uncomfortable at times etc. but it is called sacrifice. 

Man can lay/sit back and not have to be distracted by going too fast/slow/hard or what his wife is experiencing. 

The act offers a variety of sensations in a variety of areas that cannot happen with hands vagina. Wet/soft strokes by the mouth/toung can be applied to the Ba$$s, shaft, head. The friction can be increased with the hand or be made very light with the toung. 

He can get be teased and aroused in a less or more vigourous manner depending on what he wants to experience. 

It offers a variety. If I have the best filet mignon every night it is great yes. But, sometimes lobster, crab of fish may be a nice diversion. Men like variety. Oral offers this without cheating. 

It makes you feel like a king and makes you want to work hard to make your wife feel like a queen. It sets up a positive circle of giving to each other.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

tjohnson said:


> It makes you feel like a king and makes you want to work hard to make your wife feel like a queen. It sets up a positive circle of giving to each other.



I sure agree with ALL that was just said here in this above reply. I give a hearty AMEN!! Very nice way of explaining it to a woman. 

Except for me -


tjohnson said:


> Imagine he did all this without expecting sex or anything else in return. .


-- I would accually be upset if he did all that and NOT ended it with some desirous sex. Maybe I am outside the norm, but I want the same ending as the guys do.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

This may add to the info already posted:

Why Men Love Blow-jobs | The Feminine Woman


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

To clarify. My anology is that if a women is giving a "to the happy-ending, end" BJ and it is clearly for his pleasure and not expecting reciprocation or anything in exchange then it is anologous to the man who wisks his wife away ALL FOR HER PLEASURE. This anology holds true to the BJ only if doing these things is not motivated by her repaying him with sex.


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## HomeGoodMan (Sep 27, 2010)

I ask my wife do oral job for me, the purpose is :make my **** become big and hard, and wet, so that i can go into her body easy, and comfortable, and can make so many good feeling with her.

of course, I am pleasure do blow job for her first.


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

I don't understand why women don't like giving BJ's either...and I'm a woman. Giving my husband BJ's has always been a huge turn on for me and thats why I like to do it, but I can't tell you exactly WHY it's a turn on. I think for him the variety is what is exciting. I like to change it up to going from oral to regular sex and back again. I think I also may have sex ADHD cuz I never like to stay in the same position for more then a few minutes till the home stretch.


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## shari (Jun 13, 2011)

Wow, so pleased I found this thread - great postings, especially from MissLayla. I've completely changed my attitude towards BJs now. I hated giving them, convinced they were demeaning. I've been happily married for 4 years to a man much younger than myself and we have a fantastic sex life. He tells me I'm the most gorgeous, beautiful, sexiest woman he's ever been with and that when I do give him a BJ it absolutely blows his mind. He actually trembles afterwards and goes dizzy! He knows that I do it under duress though, just to shut him up and I complain that my jaw hurts, my eyes are streaming or I'm gagging and I question him as to how that can make him happy. He just tells me that the feeling he gets is out of this world and that he can't explain how or why, it just is and that I'm so good at it. We came to a compromise and I agreed to do it only once or twice whilst during my period as neither of us want to make love during menstruation. But he says he loves the spontaneity of doing it at other times also, maybe once a week. I began to feel that it was all about pleasing him and I felt resentful - I told him that love is mutual pleasure and that he shouldn't be putting pressure on me. Our marriage was beginning to feel the strain. However, since reading up the postings here and on other similar sites, I realise that I'm a bloody fool, cos I know that when I please him without expecting anything in return, he just automatically reciprocates - he's like putty in my hands, will do anything for me and treats me like a princess. So, thank you to everyone here on this thread - I now feel happy and content and I know hubby will now have a permanent smile on his face! - you've helped save our marriage.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

alot of good advice already... but i would reiterate that you need to make him think you really want to and that you enjoy it.. attitude is HUGE.. and honestly the nastier the better..


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## Roooth (May 13, 2011)

Miss Layla said something fantastic: "the more turned on I am, the better the bj"

You got a lot of good technique advice that you can play with (pun intended) so this is good. I would suggest you work on the attitude more. Being a feminist in the sense that you're self empowered is wonderful. Being empowered doesn't mean only wanting things that are good for us but allowing ourselves to be who we want to be. That may be a sexy, strong woman who can please her husband with the best of 'em! 

I totally get the demeaning reference. BJ's can be demeaning with the wrong man who doesn't have the right attitude. But when a man is giving in and out of the bedroom, look out! I love giving him head!!! :smthumbup: I want him to lay on the bed quivering and telling me how great I am or holding me afterwards like he's about to fall off a cliff, lol, because he was that overwhelmed. And when I think that it's the man I love, it warms my heart to give him this pleasure. Then when it comes time that he chooses to give and I can lay back and enjoy with no reciprocation needed, I have no guilt, but I enjoy the give and take of our intimate life. 

When you enjoy it like this, the other problems will fall into to place, these techniques will make sense to you and you'll get adventurous in trying out things for him. You'll feed off his reaction, and if you're lucky, he'll pull out, throw you on your back and show you what he's all about! :smthumbup:


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

I have friends whose wives have never, ever given them oral sex at all. Not even a quick lick over the end, never mind to completion. These wives complain that it's dirty, demeaning, degrading and does nothing for them. I doubt they'd even come here, never mind post their views, but against the evidence presented here, they do exist.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

A couple of quick tips (I didn't read the second page of this thread, sorry if anything is repeated). When kneeling, I love to look up and make eye contact with him. Not the entire time, just when the inclination hits. I've found this to be a huge turn on for him. Another thing, after a little while try talking (I don't mean a full conversation lol) while he's in your mouth. If he asks you something or comments how good it feels, try to respond, you won't be able to of course but there's something in this that also seems to be a big turn-on. 

For taking him deeper, lay on the bed with your neck hanging over the edge. He'll be standing at your side/behind you and will have control. You can clasp your hands on the back of his thighs and if you need him to ease up, just grip or tap his thigh. If you're unsure about swallowing, from the back of the throat in this position you're not really going to taste anything. He has access to the rest of your body from this position which can be extremely sexy for both of you, hands, toy play...

If you're fine with swallowing, let a bit drip down your chin, wipe with your finger afterwards and then lick your finger clean.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

kelliwoods00 said:


> 1) Why do men like this so much? What's the difference between a BJ and a handjob or straight sex? .


I'm probably one of the few guys who prefers a hand job over a bj.
I can't really explain it. I guess we can't always explain why we like what we like, but hjs are great for me. 

The stimulation can be so specific; my x had about a thousand different little stimulating techniques. I know it's something a guy could do himself, but it's just different to have those soft hands and painted nails doing the trick.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Advice?

Do it. A lot.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Wow - Very nice! Never thought of BJ's this way, but you all make it seem exciting to give them ;-) Perhaps experimenting is in order tonight - along with an early bedtime. Thanks!


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## findingmyway (May 25, 2011)

careful with your teeth, and use your hand as well like atruckersgirl mentioned. He'll think he's in heaven!


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

First off, I commend you for coming here and asking. Your husband is lucky and I hope he recognizes that.

One big mistake both sexes make with the pace of oral sex is they do it like they would like it done to them. That's great if you're gay, but if not it doesn't work so well.  Women like to be taken right up to the edge of release and then dwell there with carefully adjusted pressure and timing. Doing that to a man will make him nuts. There is a point somewhere around 80% of the way there where he just wants to shoot. To reduce stimulation there doesn't result in a better orgasm, it results in less. Up to that point, the slower you do it the stronger it will be. Sorry, we're tricky.  The way to tell if he won't vocalize is that is the point where he's going to start pushing or wiggling. From there, get the job done so to speak.

Now before that point where he just wants to get off you have a big control over how big the orgasm is. Use this to your advantage. If you want some in return RIGHT AWAY, don't dwell there. Take him through quick and while the orgasm isn't as strong, he's going to want to be quick and aggressive with you. On the other hand, if you linger there for long enough, he's going to be spent. He's just going to want to snuggle and hug for a long while.

You got good advice already on where to stimulate a man early. Tongue play around the frenulum (the triangle on the bottom of the head) and around the rim is heaven.

Once you get further along, it is the feeling of thrusting that takes a man further along. If you want a quicker pace, use a hand under your mouth. BTW, don't slide around on a man without lubrication. Your spit works good or use a lube; or just move the skin up and down without sliding over the skin. Since men don't self lubricate, it doesn't take much to cause a bit of chafing.

If you really want to pick up the pace, concentrate your lips around the bottom of the head. When you move your hand up and down it will pop the rim in and out. You can move your hand WAY faster than you can bob your head. I bet you'll be surprise just how fast you can get the job done doing this. Again, use it to your advantage based on what you want to do next. 

Finally, if you man likes it, crawl on top once in and let him use his tongue on you at the same time once in a while. Most men do really love that too.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Oh, and I forgot some comments on "finishing."

This goes to the basic urge for sex that men have. They do have a strong desire to plant their seed. Since pulling out during orgasm doesn't do that, there is a strong desire to feel like it is in deep during orgasm. When he starts orgasming, don't stroke and most of all don't slide around on the head. You've probably already found out about that during intercourse if you're really close when he goes. Sorry, it is just rather unpleasant to stimulate the head during orgasm and he's going to pull back, which goes against the strongest desire during orgasm.

The most important point is that if you're going to move your mouth off, don't suck or pull on the way off. Open and then move away without making it feel like pulling out. If you're gong to leave it in there, put the end against the roof of your mouth and put a little pressure on. (oh, and he's a lucky SOB if you do :rofl

If you do pull out, put your hand around the shaft and then put your thumb on the head. Push down a bit while he's shooting. MAKE SURE you don't PLUG THE END WITH YOUR THUMB THOUGH. That's bad, it over-pressures the plumbing in a very bad way.

Finally use your other hand to push down a bit on his pubic area.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

> Women like to be taken right up to the edge of release and then dwell there with carefully adjusted pressure and timing. Doing that to a man will make him nuts. There is a point somewhere around 80% of the way there where he just wants to shoot. To reduce stimulation there doesn't result in a better orgasm, it results in less.


I disagree... 'edging' can be positively mindblowing for the man; if I have the time, this is the way I prefer to do it myself; however with a wife it would take a huge amount of willingness, patience, and communication (not to mention free time!) from both parties, and it is usually just easier to get right to it.


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## annagarret (Jun 12, 2011)

Sucking ****is really a learned art. I love doing it and he loves receiving it. I feel variety is great. My DH loves when my boobs (they are big) swing against his testicles as I am sucking and stroking. He also likes when I have my nails done cause it feels like another womens hands on him. I always swallow, it tastes good and I know he feels completely accepted by me. Have fun applying all these new techniques to your husband, we will be in heaven!!!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Thanks Larry that was great, some of are things I did not know. My husband guided me about what to do but he provided almost no details like you did here. 

One thing to add find how he masturbates to get an idea of pressure and rhythm. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

annagarret said:


> My DH loves when my boobs (they are big) swing against his testicles as I am sucking and stroking.


That is REALLY GOOD. OH MAN it is good.



> I always swallow, it tastes good and I know he feels completely accepted by me. Have fun applying all these new techniques to your husband, we will be in heaven!!!



He does realize what a lucky SOB he is, right???


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> Thanks Larry that was great, some of are things I did not know. My husband guided me about what to do but he provided almost no details like you did here.


You're welcome.



Catherine602 said:


> One thing to add find how he masturbates to get an idea of pressure and rhythm.


That might not be a good guide. It often is really fast. Plus it is usually highly fantasy driven. With a BJ, a guy wants to watch what's going on, not have a fantasy.


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## annagarret (Jun 12, 2011)

Oh yes he does...and I for him!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

larry.gray said:


> You're welcome. That might not be a good guide. It often is really fast. Plus it is usually highly fantasy driven. With a BJ, a guy wants to watch what's going on, not have a fantasy.


That makes sense. 

That was advice that I read in a book. I think books are too generic and cookbooky. My husband never suggested any different techniques and I wonder why

I wish could try - but not a good idea because he will wonder how I know and I cant show him the post because he does not like reading this stuff. He just tolerates my posting. oh well.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> I wish could try - but not a good idea because he will wonder how I know and I cant show him the post because he does not like reading this stuff. He just tolerates my posting. oh well.


That's too bad. As long as it's not hands on training, I don't care how wifey learns.

You can always try one idea at a time, and do it just a little at first. He probably won't notice, and if you only do it and he gives you positive feedback then do it more.

He does give positive feedback, right? I REALLY want my wife to know just HOW MUCH I appreciate this :smthumbup:

I can't imagine a guy not...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

To be honest I've never really liked BJs in the past before I met the missus. Never really gets me there... but I guess I'm just hard to please in this department. Here's a few pointers:

(Hope this is not too graphic)

- You have to keep up the flow/momentum
1) Implement a handjob with it, use both hands
2) The 'spear' and spearhead isn't the only thing needing polishing, but also the erm... 'jingle bells' under the spear.
3) Don't suck on the spearhead too hard, watch his face, there's a thin line between pleasure and pain because it's the most sensitive area of a man's body
4) Vary your movements, don't keep doing the same thing all the time - for example, push the spear back and lick the underside, then take it back in, or use your hands, etc etc. One nice 'method' is to take it out, only to have him watch your tongue lick around the head before putting him back in.
5) Tease but not too much, don't leave him hanging too long, when teasing you must understand the timing of it, make him beg for your touch and for you to continue, but don't leave it too long otherwise the arousal diminishes.
6) Enjoy it! I'm sure it's a turn on by itself for all blokes to see someone lusting over our well, swords. We can tell if one isn't enjoying it, and that destroys the arousal - for me anyways.

You need confidence when you pull it off too, try to make it flow and feel natural. Take it one step at a time, before you know it giving good head will become your second nature and you no longer need to think about it.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

MGirl said:


> Okay folks. Got one for you:
> 
> My husband actually turns down bj's because he says they are "too intense" for him. He gets there too quickly. As in less than 3-5 minutes quick. I've tried to draw it out, tease him, done everything suggested here, but he still tells me it's too much stimulation and he can't hold out. He prefers sex because he's great at holding out for a very long time that way and he can enjoy it longer.
> 
> Suggestions?


 Stop being so good at blow jobs?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## annagarret (Jun 12, 2011)

Maybe just go real, real, slow...like a sort of forepley...he will get all warmed up. Of course he can do the same to do... a 69. Make it part of your new routine. You don't always have to have sex. Maybe he likes the suspense of it all!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Look up "Ruined Orgasm". Just the thing for control freaks who need to be punished.


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## married woman (May 4, 2011)

I would like some advice from the guys on technique during orgasm and post orgasm. Do you like sucking to continue after you ejaculate or just stroking?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MGirl said:


> Okay folks. Got one for you:
> 
> My husband actually turns down bj's because he says they are "too intense" for him. He gets there too quickly. As in less than 3-5 minutes quick. I've tried to draw it out, tease him, done everything suggested here, but he still tells me it's too much stimulation and he can't hold out. He prefers sex because he's great at holding out for a very long time that way and he can enjoy it longer.
> 
> Suggestions?





PBear said:


> Stop being so good at blow jobs?


:rofl:


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

alternating between both, and just finishing whenever you finish, is best.


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## Prometheus Pyrphoros (Jun 16, 2011)

MGirl said:


> Sheesh. I was being serious. He literally doesn't want them. At all. And I feel bad because he spends so much damn time on me and he doesn't want anything in return. I just want to do something for _him_ for a change.
> 
> Asked him again last night why he doesn't want them. He just gives me this puzzled look and says, "Why would I want a blow job when I can have sex instead? Blow jobs are over too quick." He'd rather have a long draw out evening than a bj with a bang. Me? I'll take the best of both worlds. But he's sure different. I think he has a problem just sitting back and enjoying something for himself every once in awhile.
> 
> Guess I should just let it go.


A man that turns down a BJ. I always thought we'd more likely find Bigfoot before this one.
A BJ is one of the best things in the world and doesn't get old. Ever. For me, at least.
And it doesn't have to be over that quick. 
Also, being bonded (tied up) whilst receiving a BJ - that I found to be mind-boggling.
Glad to hear your story, please keep up the good work.

--
Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MGirl said:


> Sheesh. I was being serious. He literally doesn't want them. At all. And I feel bad because he spends so much damn time on me and he doesn't want anything in return. I just want to do something for _him_ for a change.
> 
> Asked him again last night why he doesn't want them. He just gives me this puzzled look and says, "Why would I want a blow job when I can have sex instead? Blow jobs are over too quick." He'd rather have a long draw out evening than a bj with a bang. Me? I'll take the best of both worlds. But he's sure different. I think he has a problem just sitting back and enjoying something for himself every once in awhile.
> 
> Guess I should just let it go.


I'm sure many men are actually more pleased to know that their woman is more satisfied than themselves. I was like that in the past, nowadays however it's more like DUTY CALLS!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Yes you should just let it go. Time saved. He doesn't want them. The last car I bought I refused to test drive. Didn't even get behind the wheel. I wasn't 100% sure of even the precise model or which one on the lot it was. Every god damn Toyota econobox is like every other. What, is this one going to fly?

He doesn't want it, don't feel bad. At least it's because you're good at it. Back in the day before the wheel and fire I gave up coaching my wife and simply told her to not do it, ever. It was like teaching Helen Keller to play the Sax.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> I really do think it comes down to him not being able to accept something just for himself. Makes him uncomfortable.


It's an ego thing.



> Haha! I threatened to tie him up once and he really freaked out on me. Definitely would not be okay with that.


Meh, as long as you're not using leather straps on his willy and torturing him you're fine. Or not...

Some men do not like being restraint, I'm the same way - I even banned cuffs/ropes in the household, unfortunately the missus still does it to me without my permission from time to time. Meh, at least she's not shoving questionable items up my buttocks really - so I've come to accept her little 'urges' to annoy the hell outta me for that reason alone (i.e. it could be worse)


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## Prometheus Pyrphoros (Jun 16, 2011)

MGirl said:


> Gosh, do I wish he had that attitude. But he has a lower drive than me anyway, so maybe that's coming into play?
> 
> I do try to draw it out, but he gets really anxious and says he can't handle it, that it's still too much stimulation.
> 
> ...


Interesting, my better half also has a higher drive than I do, but that's just a manifestation of a much bigger problem I have. As for the BJ, you are right in thinking that's it's probably just some insecurity of his, as a good relaxed BJ is a fruit fresh out of paradise.
Anyways, MGirl for President.

--
Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis


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## Prometheus Pyrphoros (Jun 16, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> He doesn't want it, don't feel bad. At least it's because you're good at it. Back in the day before the wheel and fire I gave up coaching my wife and simply told her to not do it, ever. It was like teaching Helen Keller to play the Sax.


You mean from the beginning? Ouch.

--
Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Yeah, from the beginning. It's called the "I don't want to do this so I'll make it painful and ugly for you until you tell me to stop" method.


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## Prometheus Pyrphoros (Jun 16, 2011)

Oh come on, you've probably been getting plenty all the time, you lucky bas.ard. 

What has been is long past, the anger is but a tear petrified and blown to dust by wind of years. Do you still wonder what might have been? Could it have been different? Maybe with a different?


--
Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

WTF does that even mean. Roses are Red/Violets are Blue/Get out of the car/Before I smack you.

To be fair though, I've never thought of sex as the goal or the pinnacle. It's a part but just a part of the whole relationship. I can totally understand it when I hear the ladies here say they can't bring themselves to have sex if they're a certain kind of mad at their partner. Neither can I. Not that that's really an option, but I can understand it. If she really doesn't like ME the person, then it's not worth it. She should get a good vibrator and knock herself out. That would be the only function I was serving at that moment. 

So can I picture something different? Sure everyone can.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

lovelieswithin said:


> Some great tips on here. I too have no prob with BJ's and love the challenge of getting my husband off. Its a very intimate act and I can see why you think its demeaning but I think if its a voluntary act and youre both in the mood then it can be wonderful & fun.
> One of the biggest keys is looking into it. The more excited I look about the husbands **** then the more aroused he becomes. I like wearing a sexy boob top while performing. The sexier you look to him then the easier it will be to get him off. Own that **** - dont look shy or like youre doubting yourself. Give yourself a pep talk and focus on rocking your physical attributes into the performance too. Ill usually straddle him and suck on his neck a while. Then give him some tongue french action before unbuttoning his shirt. Then unzip the fly and sometimes I will pull his jeans down a little but put my mouth on his boxers and blow a little hot air on his **** while warming my own hands on his thighs. You dont want cold hands on is shaft!!! pull his boxers down with your mouth and give him a sexy grin then focus on getting it up if hes not hard already. Take it in your mouth and slowly pull it out... repeat until hard. Once hard do the tongue teasing of his "spot" under the head and tongue swirls down the shaft with firm tongue pressure. Gently take his balls in your hand delicately and slowly pull on them a little. Rub his **** on your lips and cheeks while looking at him. Throw your hair back a few times and then make a loose fist with your good hand (be sure your hands are soft before) and keep an open tiny tube of flavored lube close by so you can rub some on him before you commit to making him orgasm. Your pinky/palm part of your fist should act like the entrance of your p**** so keep it a tiny bit tight and then adjust your fist to fit his **** as you slide down. Poke his head out the top by your thumb and finger and then lick it all over until u eventually have his head in your mouth and your lips should touch your hand. Use this hand tube & mouth combo to start pumping him in a rhythm... pay attention to his cues of the perfect speed which will often mimic the speed he actually f***s you with. Every time your hand comes you can slowly twirl it and eac time his head goes in your mouth you should be tonue swirling him quickly and hitting the spot. Moan a little while in action and rub your ****y on his leg. touch his chest with your free hand and keep going!! he should be off in no time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Any women who don't understand why this is important merely need read this post.


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## Prometheus Pyrphoros (Jun 16, 2011)

I didn't mean to offend you in any way. I see your bitterness about certain things in your life and was just thinking what can be done to set things right while the concrete is not fully set, if anything. I can sometimes see myself going down that road and would not like to be a partner that would make my better half bitter in any way.
Again, I apologize if I've upset you and was not trying to be inconsiderate.
Regards

--
Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Guess I'm a man in a woman's body.

I will have sex no matter what.

Doesn't matter if you didn't pick up your socks off the floor.

Doesn't matter if you forgot my birthday.

If it's offered - I'm NOT turning it down. 

Don't care who is/is not mad and what is/is not going on!

Guess that makes me unique...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Speaking of which, ladies. Are you ALL a panties tornado in the bathroom? Can you EVER get it in the basket or even kick it NEAR the basket?


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## reallyover? (Jun 21, 2011)

Why degrading to women? Is it degrading to men when he goes down on you? Get over that thought. Your partners pleasure is your partners pleasure......


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Well slap me sideways Lovelieswithin, that was hot hot hot. I gotta try that. Got anymore tips?

Runs I cant understand your post. Please expand. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Mgirl have you tried giving him a bj with a condom it may decrease the sensitivity. Try the thicker ones the tin ones may not do the job. On of the guys said that sensitivity decreases as he gets worked up. You can try taking it off at that time and continue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Danielson67 (Mar 10, 2011)

You mentioned that you don't really like giving bj's. Question for you? Do you enjoy receiving oral sex? If you do, I suggest you talk to your husband about doing 69's where you are mutually and simultaneously giving and receiving oral sex... so much fun! This should get you excited and more "in the mood" perhaps for giving a bj. Just a suggestion... Keep this in mind... sex is for enjoyment, fun, experimenting, trying things new and exciting, giving and receiving... there have been some great tips here about technique! Put some to practice and see how it goes... and also try 69, if you haven't already, and see if it helps you get more into it ... good luck and have fun!


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

I surprised how many ladies here swallow. That's a big turn on for men as we are very visual. There are some real Pro's on this board. My hat's off to all of you.
I got hard reading the how to descriptions - that I can tell you!


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## marriedwithkids1 (Nov 10, 2010)

Fordsvt said:


> I surprised how many ladies here swallow. That's a big turn on for men as we are very visual. There are some real Pro's on this board. My hat's off to all of you.
> I got hard reading the how to descriptions - that I can tell you!


I am not sure i really get the whole "swallowing being so terrible, i mean what am i supposed to do, grimmace, run out of the room, spit it out then immediatly gargle. Perhaps I am in the minority as my husbands semen isn't really that offensive. Granted i would not sprinkle it on a salad...but really. Isn't easier to let it hit the back of your throat and swallow it then anything else. it it trully tastes so bad then if you spit it out it has to get back on your tounge where your taste buds are. 

I REALLY think it is "in your head" so to speak. That is women have been told only really fifthy girls "swallow" 

Personally, i love when my H lets a big one go in my mouth. The bigger it is...the better job i did. Plus, i am sure you ladies may have had your loving H take a trip downtown when you weren't really "morning fresh" i know mine has. He does it anyway because he loves to see my reaction. 

Personally, I love pleasing my H orally more than i will ever really tell him as I take it as really empowering that i can make him feel so good. He thinks it is a really special treat and kind of a "favor". i am not sure if that makes me kind of deceptive but...

Have fun.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

reallyover? said:


> Why degrading to women? Is it degrading to men when he goes down on you? Get over that thought. Your partners pleasure is your partners pleasure......


Why degrading?? I can't believe you don't know. Men have names for women who give bj they discuss what the woman does with their friends, they try force, coersion and demands to get them. They consider blow jobs as a require to dating a girl, they demand them apparently. They demand swallowing, comming on the face, try to shove themselves down a womans throat, try face eeefing etc. All degrading. 

Women may develop a dislike if they give them cold with no warm up. . I occasionally give my husband a bj cold but most of the time, he takes care of me first with oral sex. I am much better when I am turned on. I get the feeling that it is normal practice for men to expect them without taking care of the woman first and with no warm up. That makes it a service not mutual satisfaction. I don't think it is a good idea that one person be satisfied and the other left hanging unless the party getting nothing agrees. 

From what I have read most women do not get turned on by giving a bj. Sorry guys, most do it solely to please their guy. A man giving oral is not the same. How many men give oral sex and not expect to have an orgasm themselves? If that happened, not many men would be motivated to give oral sex. Women feel the same way. Giving just to make him happy is ok but we do many things just to make men happy. If those things are over looked, the enthusiasm for making a person who takes her for granted, is difficult. 

The swallowing thing I don't get why it is so difficult to understand why it is unpleasent. The smell taste and texture and warm temparature is awful. How many men have had tgeir cum swirted into their mouths while sucking evey time they get a bj. .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## annagarret (Jun 12, 2011)

I can't believe this thread is still going on...KELLIWOODS00..This is how you do it, You ask him directly, do want sex honey? or just a blow job (cause sometimes they are tired and just want to relax and watch your show). If he says he wants you to blow him, day or night say "of course hottie, drop your shorts". Take all, I mean all your clothes off, and start at his feet, rub you boobs all over his legs. Very slowly rub your p***y all over his legs and testicles too. All this time do not kiss him on the lips, your focus is on his wonderful, Uhum...rod.....As you start to hold his rod, also swing your boobs against his testicles. Go slow...then go fast, moan, Oh,Oh moan...if you have long hair let your hair rub against his legs, testicles and ....rod...all the while making sure he is very relaxed. This is the most important of all, when he is ready for release, suck harder and harder..drinking all of him in.....always,always,always swallow. There is no better drink on this earth than your husbands semen....whew. I am getting turned on too... Bye


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I don't find it degrading. I think whether it's degrading or not depends on the state of mind/intentions of both participants. My H is the only man I've swallowed and he tastes fine to me. I can honestly say I get turned on when giving him a bj. I don't always swallow, we mix that up. If you consider it a sexy act, you'll enjoy it, which in turn means he will enjoy it even more. Both can get pleasured with giving bj's too. It doesn't have to be one-sided. 

I know a few friends who refuse to do this for their H. The thought of it turns them off. It's not for everybody. I don't think it should be expected if she's not into it. Similarly to swallowing. Respect the boundaries.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

Ok, I have to chime in and say a big thank you for all the people dropping tips here. Been married for 11 years and my wife has never been really fond of giving BJ's. If she did it was a tease before sex, and if she finished she had a major gag reflex to deal with. I think just the thought of me finishing in her mouth would choke her up. As far as me giving her oral.....I do it as often as I can. I love pleasing her that way.

So anyway, she's been reading over this thread and decided that she was going to blow my mind last night. And she did. Cant get too graphic because I don't want the thread deleted. But I will say she teased, got serious, and I finished. And finished in a way I thought she would NEVER be able to handle. Long story short......best sexual experience I can remember in our 11 years of marrige. I was just laying there shaking and out of my mind. I'm sure I was blushing and grinning from ear to ear also. I had no freaking idea that could be so good.

So can't thank you all enough  lol


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

it-guy said:


> Ok, I have to chime in and say a big thank you for all the people dropping tips here. Been married for 11 years and my wife has never been really fond of giving BJ's. If she did it was a tease before sex, and if she finished she had a major gag reflex to deal with. I think just the thought of me finishing in her mouth would choke her up. As far as me giving her oral.....I do it as often as I can. I love pleasing her that way.
> 
> So anyway, she's been reading over this thread and decided that she was going to blow my mind last night. And she did. Cant get too graphic because I don't want the thread deleted. But I will say she teased, got serious, and I finished. And finished in a way I thought she would NEVER be able to handle. Long story short......best sexual experience I can remember in our 11 years of marrige. I was just laying there shaking and out of my mind. I'm sure I was blushing and grinning from ear to ear also. I had no freaking idea that could be so good.
> 
> So can't thank you all enough  lol


Congrats to both of you! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

I don't mean this harshly but forget the feminist stuff. It has its place in the world but not in a loving relationship. It shouldn't be demeaning to women or men to do (within reason) anything that pleasures their spouse. Sex is about pleasuring each other. You both should be willing to bend for the other. Mine says she enjoys it and that she enjoys the feeling of power she has when she does it. I don't think she enjoyed it at first but grew into it over time. Its always best when she acts enthusiastic about it as if she is really hungry for it.


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## steak (May 6, 2011)

kelliwoods00 said:


> and it's hard for me to overcome the feeling that blowjobs are demeaning to women.


But you hardly think it's demeaning when a man gives a woman oral right? Because his genitals are so much more disgusting than yours right?


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