# I Hate Goodbyes



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

and I am having a few heavy ones right now. My divorce is in 4 days, the town I live in, for 11 years can't find a job in and will have to move I need to eat, and I am selling the marital home.

I have always hated goodbyes, they really make me feel very sad, like it's over. This time it really is.

I am feeling overwhelmed at times and now that the date is so close, the feelings I thought i worked through are coming back in the form of a great well of sadness. I have been crying and I normally don't.

This is the hardest emotional piece of life I have ever lived and I want the pain to stop. It has gotten better, not that gut wrenching business but just feeling like I have a personal dark little cloud hanging over my head the last couple of days. I am missing my mate again or the dream mate.

Any suggestions?


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

No. But if you want company and my own personal insight into feeling the same way, you can look at my "Wish I could hit the fast forward button" post, and discussion of the need to be vulnerable.


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Sparkles422 said:


> and I am having a few heavy ones right now. My divorce is in 4 days, the town I live in, for 11 years can't find a job in and will have to move I need to eat, and I am selling the marital home.
> 
> I have always hated goodbyes, they really make me feel very sad, like it's over. This time it really is.
> 
> ...


I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, really I do. I wish I had those words for myself as well. But all I can say is that I sincerely hope things improve and continue in that direction for all of us here. I already said "goodbye" to the house and most of what I had, thankfully the house was just a rental. However, I have no idea when I'll have a date for the divorce, neither of us can afford to get it started right now. Been job hunting as well, if I don't have any luck where I am then I have to think of relocating back to Orlando (Mom and brother are there).

Thoughts of only the best for you Sparkles!


----------



## dojo (Jul 4, 2011)

The only good thing I can say is that you'll pass through this and feel better, once you healed. Think about this as a NEW START in life. Not many people can "reset" their start and have new perspectives. While you didn't really ask for this to happen, just think that you're leaving all the bad and hurt behind and that you are now free to start a new better life.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Sparkle, start sending out your resume.

Try to keep upbeat and positive. This was just one chapter of your life. Life does go on and you will prevail. 

My father told me something before my divorce...cause I kept telling him I was dreading The Day because my marriage would be over. He told me, "Jelly--it's already over. Now it's just a formality (signing the decree)."

He was so right. It had been over long before!


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Thank you all for your encouragement. Really not a good day today or yesterday or the day before.

Home: how do I find your discussion?

Thanks.


----------



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

I have been reading the post here and I think in about 2weeks my divorce will be final. I keep wondering how I will feel if I am going to break down and cry.

Jellybeans:I have thought like your Dad told you.."its already over" its just legal now. 

Its just happened really fast which is ok no need to linger in something that was not going to be. When we signed the divorce papers I went home and cried. When our anniversary came it did not phase me at all (whew I thought). Final papers I am not sure. I have been on my own without him since March so I know I can make it and I have been making it.

I guess when this becomes final and I change my name...others will know I will be exposed in that way about my personal life. I know they will not ask details but ahhhh...it is what it is.


----------



## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Same here, we are in the process of filling out the paper for the dissolution of the marriage now. I had been feeling great about the new beginnings, but today I got a lot sad. I am still looking for some answers that don't exist. This will never make sense to me, but it is real. My life is better without him, I just have to accept that, realize I didn't make a mistake...I made a choice, and it wasn't meant to be for eternity. Cried a little today too. I gues that is backsliding on my future. I pray for all of us to get through to the other side where happiness resides very quickly.


----------



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Hesnothappy

You are so right. I know I will not get answers or resolve but have to keep the past there. Some people are like wow you have so many options in front of you to do whatever you want with your life. I understand what they are saying right now its kind of like a blank canvas. I am not sure what type of masterpiece will prevail. Usually I always have a plan of something I am doing career wise or educationally. I just finished school ...career...not sure yet with all of this I am trying to let this pass tie up loose ends and gain some ground/closure before I add too much on my plate at once right now.

I realize sometimes crying is sporatic not like it was but still there and in time that will become less and less. 

Like you I think the hardest thing is when you did not make a mistake we were put in a situation to make a choice (living out bad decisions and actions our Hs made). Its unfortunate it was not for eternity because that is what we signed up for our husbands didn't seem to get the same memo ...LOL...


----------



## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Exactly. I know the crying isn't even as severe, but it comes quickly and resolves just as quickly.


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

My divorce is over,3 days ago. And I didn't break down.

It was over in March, this was the legal closure.

I am getting my sense of humor back, I am getting me back. I had disappeared for a long time and didn't even know it.

Sometimes what seems like a huge, painful sacrifice can turn out to have been the right choice for growth and better, wonderful things up the road. I firmly believe that. Yes, we will still feel the pain and disappointment and perhaps the betrayal (that's natural) but it doesn't have to hold us back in taking the next step.

Here is for the next step in my life. May it be filled with the wonders of God and excitement of the unknown. (Not fear)


----------



## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Wishing you the best, you deserve it. Life is no joke! But we will laugh again and loudly ;o)


----------



## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

Its a hard pill to swallow but you should smile.... you have a whole new life and super fab one ahead of you...one where you can be you, live for you and enjoy every second of it! Its time to live your life!


----------

