# Wow I guess I got my answer



## tryingtocope24 (Sep 27, 2009)

Well It has been a long year since my nightmare started. I sent and email to my wife the otherday asking what was going on 
tolder her we would do what we could to remain friends if we end the marriage. I would not force her to sell the house. I am not mad I just wanted to know where my life is going. Well she answered and said she was releved to hear what I said and also wants to remain friends but the marriage is over. At least I know now and can move on. Never thought I would have been releved to hear it but I was. Should I expect a big let down? It is weird not being upset about it. Go figure.


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

tryingtocope24 said:


> Well It has been a long year since my nightmare started. I sent and email to my wife the otherday asking what was going on
> tolder her we would do what we could to remain friends if we end the marriage. I would not force her to sell the house. I am not mad I just wanted to know where my life is going. Well she answered and said she was releved to hear what I said and also wants to remain friends but the marriage is over. At least I know now and can move on. Never thought I would have been releved to hear it but I was. Should I expect a big let down? It is weird not being upset about it. Go figure.


remaing friemds ? I really dont think it will be a good idea , can u really be friend with some one who can put u through so much pain ? It seems u have not let her realise how selfish & inconsiderate her actons are.


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## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

If you think that being friends with someone you had been intimate with is being friends, you are sadly mistaken. If you care about someone in a romantic way, what we are doing is not friendship. It a invitation to pain.

Seriously, think about how you talk and act with your friends. You really cant do that right away with someone you love and want back. You dont want them to tell you stuff and they dont want you to tell them stuff. It is not friendship then.

I just read alot of these post and I see how ppl get hurt. Myself included when we try to jump from love to...oh we just friends. Its insane really. It add unnecessary problems to the break up. It brings pain and agony if you want that person back. It cause you to waste time wondering what they are doing when you just finish talking to them. You get upset cause they didnt answer your call or text. You want to have sex with them. I just think we need to stop kidding ourselves with this friendship with the ex thing for our own good. People play alot of games. When your heart is in it, it is very easy to get played and for things to get complicated. 

I do believe down the line, we can become friends when all the emotions are no longer there.


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## boarderwayne (Feb 14, 2010)

Sirch, you hit the nail on the head. I've been trying to do the lets keep our friendship intact thing for a while now and like you said every time I talk to her or get a text or what not, I'm constantly thinking about her once again. And like you said, there are things I don't want to hear about her life and things she doesn't want to hear about mine. I've been realizing it alot more lately that I just can't be friends with someone I'm still in love with, someone that was willing to hurt me the way she did, someone that could care less about the way I feel and refuses to acknowledge what she's done to me and our marriage.

Sorry, this kind of turned into a rant lol. But anyway If the friendship thing works out for you, more power to you but for me as much as I don't want to loose her completely I just can't see being friends with her being a healthy thing to do.


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## tryingtocope24 (Sep 27, 2009)

Wow I never thought about it that way but you are all correct with the thinking of them. I guess what we are trying to do is be civil with each other because of the kids. To be able to be at a school function without glaring at each other. She is suffering from depression and I guess I am trying to be nice so I don't push her over the edge. I would have liked it to work out but I don't see that happening at all anymore even with help. I am in the process of rebuilding my self-esteem and taking care of me for a change.


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