# Length of custody agreement



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I was wondering for the people who have been through divorce, how long can a custody agreement extend to, assuming no modifications?

I had a fight with my stb-x today in that I was getting the kids kinda minimally now (12, 7, and 1.5).

I have the youngest every Monday night, Tuesday, and Tuesday night. This is good b/c he's a baby and getting to know his Daddy.

I have all of them every other weekend.

The challenge is I live 50 minutes away and coordinating their activities but I realize it's my choice to live 50 minutes away and I don't want to interrupt their social life just to impart "Dad-time" on them.

I feel strongly about that. Any divorced kids I talked to hated the "mandatory" visiting.

Anyway, as per my other thread, I wanted to, when my sons got to be 15 years old, to have them live in the summers with me so they can work the boardwalk or beach and have a summer with Dad and save for college. Of course, I said that she could visit them on a schedule like I do. She just admitted today that the kids don't have any friends to play with anymore in the neighborhood (don't know why. . .we've barely talked).

She said she would fight that.

Anyway, I plan to visit with my attorney and ask this but in advance, how long can a custody award extend for?

Can I have it written in now that the kids can spend summers with me when they reach a certain age of maturity? Or is the maximum term for a custody award like 3 years or something?


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Here the custody arrangement stands until someone wants to change it. Either parent files the change and it goes to court. She can fight it, but considering its the summer she would need to provide good reason that she doesn't like it and the judge rules as he thinks is best for the kids. If the amount of time you have them changes then the child support amount you pay vs she pays will change as well.

Be very careful about not getting them on your days - she can use this to get the agreement changed so that you no longer can get them those days AND that will cause your child support money to go up as well.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

TNGirl,

Thanks. . .I am really not worried about the child support one way or the other. . .really. . .a few dollars here or there. . .doesn't really make a difference. The credit isn't that large. . .although I suppose taking a kid for the summer would have a few hunded dollar impact.

My primary concern is of the kids and I know a few people have been judgmental of me in that I don't want to "fight" over the kids being with me.

Honestly, I just want them to be happy and me to be happy. I want to remain in their social orbit but not necesarily remove them from their home to "visit" me.

If my son said, "Dad. . .summer sounded good a few years ago but I don't think I really want to leave my friends around here." Fine. . .I'd be disappointed but I'd understand about not wanting their social life disrupted.

I really want the rest of their life to center around their home and mandatory "Dad-time" is really not what I want at all. It makes the kids unhappy and uncomfortable and it makes me uncomfortable. We all just end up hating the arrangement as boredom would inevitably set in.

But I want them to have the *opportunity *of what I think is golden for them - beach summers. They can forge friendships at local places to work where the same group comes back every summer, etc. And I'd really get a chance to father.

I guess this needs an hour consult with my attorney.

I know divorce is more a process than a result but maybe I should have it worded in now if she's going to be difficult.

I know the age of sentience is 14 years old too (I think, maybe it's 12) so if they didnt' want to come with Dad, again, I wouldn't manipulate them to pick me.


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