# What is wrong with me????



## too young for this (Jul 2, 2008)

Hopefully you all will not jump on me about my problem as alot of my friends have already. I just need honest opinions...

Here is where I stand: I am 20 years old and have been married for less than a month to a 24 year old man whom I have been with for about 4 years now. I love him to death and admire so much about him. He is the type of guy every girl wishes she had. He doesn't go out all the time (in fact, he never goes out), he doesn't drink more than a beer or two at a time and this is very seldom, he won't even look at another girl, he cooks, he cleans, hes got a great paying job and well thought out future, he is amazing at saving money, but the best of all...he is head over heels for me and I can just tell by the way he looks at me that I am all he needs/wants.

My problem: I feel like he is holding me back from doing what I want to do. Everyone thought I was crazy for getting married so young and I just blew them off because I thought "who are they to tell me what I should/shouldn't do" but I am starting to see that this is it, this is my life from now ON. I am starting to think that I married him because I had been with him so long that I thought that was the only thing TO do. 

An even bigger problem: I have always fallen for guys pretty easily and it seems like any guy I spend any amount of time makes me question my relationship. I find myself thinking about this other person when I shouldn't be or hiding things from my husband that would give him a reason to believe I would be cheating on him. I have cheated on him once about 2 years ago (kissed a coworker) and he knows about it but I may have stretched the truth about it so he wouldn't leave me. Any other feelings I have had for other guys have always been a crush that goes away when I lose contact with them. I met a guy at work about 2 weeks before my wedding that somehow got my phone number and sent me a random text message to say hi (although he knew I was getting married) and since then I find myself texting him back and forth ALL DAY long, making plans to hang out with him after work (while adding extra people so it doesn't look bad), etc. Long story short..I have fallen for him and I know I should just quit the job and lose all contact with him but I don't want to. And I think...I could do that to him but what happens when the next guy comes around? 

Does this mean I really like this particular guy? or that I have lost interest in my husband? or that I just settled down to young? WHAT IS IT?

I have caught myself thinking that it would be ideal if I could seperate from my husband for a few years to get all this out of my system and still get to have "the perfect guy" waiting for me to be ready. Terrible, I know. 

What do I do??? Help!!!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

There is nothing wrong with you, it is called buyers remorse and is not uncommon among newlyweds. I would suspect you my have some maturity issues you need to work on. My first blush is that you seem to have found a great guy but are having second thoughts about your commitment. I think your first priority is to your marriage and you need to end the contact with the other guy immediately. Concentrate on your marriage and improving your bond as a couple. Because you have so much confusion at this time do not even think about having kids. Let your husband and you grow as a couple. At your age you have lots of time ahead to start a family. Give this marriage all the attention it deserves and things will probably work out in the end. Because you have a history of “falling for guys easily” this may be a problem further on down the road no matter how this turns out. My best advice is avoid the temptation and don’t put yourself in a situation where you are vulnerable to it. Good luck.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Amplexor said:


> There is nothing wrong with you, it is called buyers remorse and is not uncommon among newlyweds. I would suspect you my have some maturity issues you need to work on. My first blush is that you seem to have found a great guy but are having second thoughts about your commitment. I think your first priority is to your marriage and you need to end the contact with the other guy immediately. Concentrate on your marriage and improving your bond as a couple. Because you have so much confusion at this time do not even think about having kids. Let your husband and you grow as a couple. At your age you have lots of time ahead to start a family. Give this marriage all the attention it deserves and things will probably work out in the end. Because you have a history of “falling for guys easily” this may be a problem further on down the road no matter how this turns out. My best advice is avoid the temptation and don’t put yourself in a situation where you are vulnerable to it. Good luck.



:iagree:

draconis


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## Josh (Jul 4, 2008)

First of all you need to understand that there is nothing wrong with.
After you do that - you need to truly understand if you want your husband as your spouse for life. Love may come and go but what you build together is what matters.
I saw many people in your state that brought a baby and that changed all of their relationship for the better - being a family and just 2 singles who got married.
But it can also be a big risk if this is not the man you want to spend your life with.

All in all i would give it some time and see where it goes.


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## Janz121 (Dec 11, 2012)

I got married young too I was only 19 when I got married, this exact situation happened with me and my husband except the other way around so he was the one interested in someone else and I wasn't interested in other people at all, I adored my husband back then and couldn't wait to get married. He started taking an interest in this other girl a few weeks before our wedding, I had no idea about this at the time so I married him and it was about three weeks after our wedding he actually started having an affair with this other girl, it only lasted two months before I found out about it. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying you will end up cheating on your husband but there is a possibility, it starts with being interested in another person and then it escalates. My advice is to stop all contact with this other guy and focus on your marriage, it sounds like you have an amazing husband that loves you very much and a lot of women would kill to have a hubby like that. If however you get to the stage that your falling out of love with your husband and in love with the other guy you'll need to separate with your husband before acting on the next relationship. Hope this helped. Good luck


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