# New found co-parenting?



## BecauseSheWeeps (9 mo ago)

Advice on how to handle this is needed. Long story short - my husband and the mother of his child were never any good at coparenting. They have a 14 yearold together. My husband and I have been together for almost 3 years now and I have only heard them speak to each other over the phone, maybe 3 times. She's always been pretty mean to him. He's always felt so ashamed, and cries at times over the fact that they don't coparent well and he just wants to be able to be there more often for his son, outside of the time that we have him in the house. So an incident happened where my step son had gotten in to trouble at school yesterday morning, and she actually called my husband and asked him to speak to their son with her over the phone, that she didn't want to handle this situation alone. Which is GREAT!! They were doing so well. Of course, my husband tries to drown his feelings with beer. He did not handle it well afterwords. He was absolutely everywhere with his feelings. What if she's just being nice to him because she's going to try to win him back and then break things off with him just to be vindictive because she's done it before (they were highschool sweethearts) and then it destroys his marriage too. Am I wrong for thinking that he's only thinking this way because he would actually let it happen? I have never been a step mother, and I enjoy every minute of it and I did tell him - if they both still have feelings for each other and it were to get to that - I would step aside for the sake of that boy being able to have his parents back together. I love that kid so much, he does trump me. My husband did tell me last night, after venting, that even if he were single and any of this were to happen, he would not try to get back with her. Which counts for something, but why are we having these feelings?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Advice on how to handle this is needed. Long story short - my husband and the mother of his child were never any good at coparenting. They have a 14 yearold together. My husband and I have been together for almost 3 years now and I have only heard them speak to each other over the phone, maybe 3 times. She's always been pretty mean to him. He's always felt so ashamed, and cries at times over the fact that they don't coparent well and he just wants to be able to be there more often for his son, outside of the time that we have him in the house. So an incident happened where my step son had gotten in to trouble at school yesterday morning, and she actually called my husband and asked him to speak to their son with her over the phone, that she didn't want to handle this situation alone. Which is GREAT!! They were doing so well. Of course, my husband tries to drown his feelings with beer. He did not handle it well afterwords. He was absolutely everywhere with his feelings. What if she's just being nice to him because she's going to try to win him back and then break things off with him just to be vindictive because she's done it before (they were highschool sweethearts) and then it destroys his marriage too. Am I wrong for thinking that he's only thinking this way because he would actually let it happen? I have never been a step mother, and I enjoy every minute of it and I did tell him - if they both still have feelings for each other and it were to get to that - I would step aside for the sake of that boy being able to have his parents back together. I love that kid so much, he does trump me. My husband did tell me last night, after venting, that even if he were single and any of this were to happen, he would not try to get back with her. Which counts for something, but why are we having these feelings?


I don't think it means he wants to get back together with his ex-wife. 

She has hurt him and been vindictive in the past so of course he will be suspicious of (and likely triggered by) her sudden change. No one wants to be used or manipulated and it's okay to be upset about it.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (9 mo ago)

bobert said:


> I don't think it means he wants to get back together with his ex-wife.
> 
> She has hurt him and been vindictive in the past so of course he will be suspicious of (and likely triggered by) her sudden change. No one wants to be used or manipulated and it's okay to be upset about it.


Thank you. I wasn't sure as to how I should take or handle this conversation with him. When him and I first got together, Covid had just started and she wouldn't let him see the kid for almost 3 months before he went and filed for contempt. It broke his heart and he did so much crying and it really scared me because he still hurts over them failing as a couple for their son.


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