# Husband says i am boring in bed and avoids having sex



## ThinkStraight (Apr 1, 2013)

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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

If what you described is true, that you are the one initiating, that you are touching him and he isn't touching you, that you are bringing ideas into the bedroom and he isn't...Do you really think this guy knows anything about sex? Certainly not enough to know that he is the problem and not you.

He sounds like a petulant little boy who isn't mature enough to have sex. You describe a 10 year old pampered little whiny pants.

You already know you aren't the problem. You already know he is the one who is boring in bed. Did you just need confirmation?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Assuming what you've said is the entire story (not saying there's any reason not to believe you, but there's usually two sides), your husband is an ass. Until the two of you can have an open honest discussion about your sex life, it's going to be virtually impossible to fix. He's playing games and making it impossible for you to improve things. Maybe he's holding a grudge because of your past behaviour or something; I don't know. Maybe that's just the way he is. But most of us guys would give up favorite body parts to find a partner who was actively interested in a healthy fun sex life, for BOTH of us! I know I'm sure glad to have found my GF, after leaving a marriage with an unhealthy sexual component.

How old are the two of you? Would you say he's as attractive as you are?

C


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## ThinkStraight (Apr 1, 2013)

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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Have you two tried counselling? I don't have any real suggestions to offer you... He just sounds like he's either punishing you or being an ass, and doesn't actually want to work with you to fix the problem. And until he starts communicating honestly with you about what he wants or needs, you're playing hide and seek while wearing a blindfold. 

Sorry you're in this situation. Like I said, there's TONS of guys out there that would give up a lot for a partner who is interested in a healthy sex life. Your guy seems to just want his own needs met with no regard for your own. A lot of guys find that their partner's pleasure is a HUGE part of their own sexual enjoyment, and are very much into making their partner feel good as well as themselves. 

Whatever you do, I wouldn't advise trying to have kids until things are healthier in your relationship. 

C


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I beg to differ. he doesn't sound like he is in love with anyone but himself. He actually sounds like the stereotypical woman who hangs onto resentments as a passive means of being controlling, rather then dealing with the issue so that the relationship can improve. Actually, he sounds like an ass, as PBear so aptly pointed out.

I notice that when people of different cultures post in this forum, it seems there is a huge difference in how relationship problems are identified and sorted out. Perhaps in your culture women are expected to be mind readers, expected to move mountains in order to please their man while he sits of his ass and does next to nothing? Frankly, no matter what he looks like, I can't imagine wanting to be with a man such as the way you describe your man. Being treated like that would destroy any love I might have had for him.

Time to put on your big girl panties and stand up for yourself. Tell him to get over the past or get out. I don't know what you did or didn't do, but your relationship isn't going to move forward until the past has been processed and you both have moved forward. If he thinks a set amount of time punishing you for being a crazy woman during that time is a positive way of coping, you are in for a lifetime of unhappiness and your best move would be to move on and find a real man. Little boys make lousy lovers and even worse husbands!


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## ThinkStraight (Apr 1, 2013)

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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

y


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

"He is the type of person always wanting to be helpful with everyone without wanting to receive anything back". My husband is like that. It is a nightmare. His being "helpful" is actually a way of meddling and controlling.

Why do you think he is only shy with you? Why do you think he would not be shy with other women? Has he told you he was some kind of stud? Well, he would say that, wouldn't he.

Frankly it sounds to me like he is punishing you for your "crazy years". Well, even if you were unreasonable during those years there is only so much punishment anyone can or should take.

I think you are taking far too much blame and letting him get away with far too much.


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## ThinkStraight (Apr 1, 2013)

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## ThinkStraight (Apr 1, 2013)

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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

y


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I would talk dirty to him.

Wait for him in the shower for a quickie, total surprise.

Watch some adult shows with him.

Try fantasies with him.

Dress up.

Have sex with him while he is asleep and when he wakes up.......nice.

Toys, oils, edible panties.

The sky is the limit.

What you did in your past shouldn't effect the present, we all make mistakes and have regrets. It's what we do here and now and the future......


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> I would talk dirty to him.
> 
> Wait for him in the shower for a quickie, total surprise.
> 
> ...


I agree....do anything that turns you on...push your limits.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

What the hell is with the "X" and "Y"?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Vanguard said:


> What the hell is with the "X" and "Y"?


The original poster chickened out and deleted her posts, seems like she didn't know how to delete them and instead edited them by erasing everything but leaving the X in place so the form field was populated.

Then the other poster, noticing the editing of the OP, also edited all his responses doing the same only he used Y.


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

Mrs. Pink, thank you for your enlightening explanations. I almost thought they were talking about chromosomes!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

LOL @ this thread

Ne ways OP there's nothing to be embarrassed about here, no one will recognise you if you follow the rules of anonymity and further more we've read many different stories so there's nothing to be ashamed about.


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