# Does a Wife Lie About Weight Gain being a turn off?



## darkrat (May 13, 2013)

I am 6'6" and when we got married 16 years ago I was 230 pounds. Today I weight 325 pounds ( I was as high as 340 last year) As you know by some of my other threads I am trying to put together a solid plan to fix things in the bedroom. About 8 years ago I was 250-260 pounds, not too thin but with my height, it worked. BJs would be more frequent. I also remember having sex in missionary years ago, and she used to lean her head up to look and watch it go in and out. I think she liked watching something go in and out of her. I have a very large gut, so she can't really see that anymore. When I sometimes don't have a shirt on my wife always tells me to put one on. 

Lately the sexual frequency has not quite been there especially the long intimate, 2 hour sessions I crave. BJs have almost stopped and I have to ask for them every couple months. 

A couple times recently, I have asked her point blank, has my weight gain contributed to less sex frequency and less BJs. She flat out says no every single time. She has told me she is frustrated and concerned about my future health though. But she said that my weight gain has not contributed to less attraction.

Let me ask you this. Is she lying? Is she lying to not make me feel bad? Or, does she just "not know" that it actually has made a difference? Maybe if I got fit and in shape, she would look back and admit that it did have something to do with it.

I come on this forum and see lots of women who say that their husbands have gained 100 pounds and it is a turn off. Is my wife being nice and is hiding that she is turned off?

Hit me hard, I can take it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Yes, your weight has caused her to feel less desire toward sex with you. And she is trying to be nice and supportive about it.

I suggest you only ask her to be more truthful AFTER you have lost significant weight. So that she will be more confident that admitting to something that she would find devastating, is not going to devastate you.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Most women are NICE....some could never say a word that would hurt another.. I agree with all Avon has said above.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Well if your wife gained bunch of weight how would you like it? You won't find many people for which a lot of weight gain isn't a turn off. You should assume it is and get control of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Yes gaining 100 pounds is enough to put a damper on desire. She's being nice and supportive. Be grateful for that and lose the weight.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I would also concur.

Would a woman want more or less sex if her hubby was fit or very over weight?

You've gained the unwanted weight. 

She's not that into you anymore but still nice and loving and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

Lose the weight, get fit, and do it for your health, longevity and to please your wifee. Sexy is sexy.


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## darkrat (May 13, 2013)

I think I just figured something out. Losing weight and getting in shape is the answer to EVERYTHING. Think about my other threads.

1. I have a snoring issue keeping me out of the sleeping in the bedroom. I never snored when I was thin. Me in bed with her equals more sex.

2. I have this need for her to use electronic toys. Why? Maybe because of my weight gain I feel less confident like I can no longer please her and want her to please herself? I never wanted to bring in toys when I was thin and had more confidence.

3. I watch tons of pron, but my porn use has gone up the fatter I have gotten. I dont recall me ever needing this much porn when I was thinner. Maybe because I got laid more but also maybe because when you have low self confidence you like to watch other more confident guys get women off, wishing that was you with your wife...


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

There you go. :smthumbup:


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

Yes..... she can't bring herself to say it to you. And You should not be asking her that question anymore. That is a mean spot to put her in. Instead of asking..... just look at your belly and answer it yourself. Shoot.... you know it is a turn off so essentially you are asking her to lie about it. Don't bring it up again to her... that's not nice. Just lose weight. She will reward you.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Yes she's lying. And yes, that's why you snore. Now step away from the buffet and lace up your running shoes. You've got a lot of work to do.


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## Needy_Wife (Mar 10, 2010)

My husband has gained well over 100lbs. The thing is, I still want to have sex with him. Problem is, his weight gain makes him not want it.
It's come to the point now, he has gained so much weight, that it effects how he performs, and the frustration makes it not worth it. 
Do this not only for yourself, but for your wife. Lose the weight.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## totallywarped (Jan 26, 2013)

Yes she's lying. I don't think anyone expects their spouse to maintain the SAME weight they had when they met but 100 pounds is a lot  It's affects sex more than u think. It makes your penis smaller (because of layers of fat at the base). You get winded, can't go fast and don't last long. With bj's some women like for a guy to be standing so he can take over some of the work and give our neck a break. If you have a large stomach this isn't pleasant. I don't want my face smashed into your gut trying to deep throat you. And idk why but overweight men are always REALLY hairy. That's probably why she's asking u to put on a shirt. All that hair tickles... Work out, cut some calories, you'll live longer and have a better sex life. Good luck


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

She may not be consciously lying but the weight gain must have something to do with it. My husband has never been slim but he is obese right now and it is an issue. She might worry that you will have a heart attack "on the job" and she will be stuck underneath you unable to escape!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

darkrat said:


> * I also remember having sex in missionary years ago, and she used to lean her head up to look and watch it go in and out. I think she liked watching something go in and out of her.* I have a very large gut, so she can't really see that anymore. *When I sometimes don't have a shirt on my wife always tells me to put one on. *


There^^^are the answers to your questions.
Your weight gained has caused her sexual attraction / libido to decrease.
But you are looking at it [ maybe] from a less advantageous perspective.
If you continue to look at it as her lying to you about her true feelings, it does nothing to help increase her desire for you and things would only get worse in the bedroom.
Work on your weight and be confident about getting things back to where she could look up during coitus , and be even more aroused by what she is seeing.
There are some things a woman may never tell you , but you are supposed to know.
Especially concerning sex.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> There are some things a woman may never tell you , but you are supposed to know.
> Especially concerning sex.


Yup, we're annoying that way...

Sorry bout that chief!


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