# Would no sex be a reason to divorce?



## hott24girl (Dec 18, 2012)

My husband and I have been married for over 5 years and together for 7 years. We both were married before and have children from our previous marriages. When we 1st met our sec life was abundant and very healthy. In the past few years since our son was born it has declined to the point now where we might have sec once every 2 to 3 months. I have tried to talk to my husband about this but he seem uncomfortable about the conversation or he makes excuses that he is tried or stressed or etc. I have set him up a doctor's Appointment to see if there was sn underlying issue however my husband canceled the appointment.
I am so frustrated at this situation as I am a very sexual person, I don't want to have another conversation with him due to the awkwardness of the other times I tried. 
Should I leave? Whet should I do?


----------



## jacparr85 (Aug 6, 2012)

Hi Hott24Girl,

I am actually in the same situation as you right now. I know how frustrated and lonely you feel right now, it is no fun. I guess I can offer a little bit of advice even though I am also wondering if I should leave my husband. What my husband and I are doing to try and save our marriage is going to marriage counseling and picking 1 day out of the week to make it an "us" day where we talk and have sex... we picked Sunday. Not sure if maybe you could talk to your husband and come to some sort of agreement about picking a day, hopefully he will listen to you and not ignore your feelings. I am so sorry you are going through this  I know how you feel.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Yes it is reason to divorce.

That said, there are a wide variety of things you can try to change things. MC is one. Him seeing a doc is one. If he really isn't willing to do anything about it, then telling him it WILL come to D if he keeps that up may be the wake up call he needs. And then do it if he doesn't. Don't have a conversation, just tell him, flat out, that that is where things are headed.

No one should have to live in a sexless marriage. Sex is part of the deal. Unless you specified otherwise, which obviously you didn't.


----------



## samatedge (Dec 7, 2012)

Does he spend a lot of time on the computer? Does he go to bed long after you do?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

A physical is definitely important

There could be many issues he may want to avoid if he feels he's either lost his drive or he's having performance problems (a huge ego crusher for men)

There are a lot of things that can effect performance from cardiac issues to low testosterone. He won't have a shot at fixing anything if he doesn't go to the Dr.


----------



## Kellygirl77 (Dec 17, 2012)

I am in the same situation and for me it's heart breaking. It does very much mess with me, my heart & my emotions. You start thinking does he find me attractive anymore, is there someone else? Etc.. We have been married for 7 years and been together for 12 over all. The beginning of ANY relationship is great. After we were married, I saw sex take a dip but not to much to worry. We had our son and it changed. But, not nearly as bad as its been lately.

He has so many hobbies and he had them before but did not partake in them as much in the past as he does now. I told him & think his hobbies, friends etc come before me. Of course he claims otherwise. 

I am at such a cross roads.. I talked to my Dr. about and he said bluntly which is why I love adore him, that either my husband is cheating on me, which he swears up & down he's not. Or that he has low testosterone. When I brought that up to him, he thinks that's been a problem. Aside from sex we have other issues happening. I am terrified of the thought of divorce, but so broken hearted and feel stuck. 

I am glad I found this site. Reading some of these posts & threads makes me relieved I am not alone.. 

Thank you ladies/men for sharing your struggles. It's hard. marriage is a job, BUT both people have to work @ it !


----------



## fwappy (Dec 19, 2012)

Men retreat when things are not in sync. That's where I'm at.


----------



## LiamN (Nov 5, 2012)

Although the problem with your husband's low sex drive could be physical, it's far more likely to be psychological. Rather than talking to him about it, the key is to "tap into his sex drive". You actually do this in non-sexual ways by arousing his male energy and then associating it with you and sex. How can you make him feel powerful and respected (which is how he will feel masculine). Start by complimenting him on his achievements, encouraging him to set goals and supporting him to achieve them, and trying to help take some of the pressure off his problems.
You could also read this book:
The Sexless Marriage Cure: How to Get Your Partner (or You) Interested in Sex Again: Liam Naden: Amazon.com: Kindle Store


----------

