# Sex and weight



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

So this can be a touchy subject....would you stop having sex with your spouse due to weight gain? Expound as needed.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Yup I would and he knows it.


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## puffs31 (Aug 12, 2010)

I would have sex with my husband no matter what size he was. Maybe I can say that easily, because he always stays so skinny. But I'd like to think it wouldn't matter to me. I love the person inside, the outside is just a bonus.


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## MissLayla1986 (Aug 27, 2010)

i wouldn't stop having sex with him but it would definitely throw things off a bit. my husband is in great shape and has worked out religiously for as long as i've known him, so if all of a sudden he became a couch potato and gained a lot of weight, it would definitely affect the sexual chemistry between us. 

having said that, i love him no matter what he looks like, so i'm sure we would overcome it (especially if the weight gain was through no fault of his own).


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

It has never bothered me one bit. If someone was grossly overweight (morbidly obese) and unhygenic it would bother me, but even 50- 60 pounds wouldn't bother. 

In fact I was just talking about this with my fiance today, and he said he would still love me and be attracted to me. I do know I feel better at the weight I am now though, and much more attractive, then when I was heavier, through illness.

I think it's important to be relatively healthy, and actual weight doesn't matter so much at all. Plus my fiance look great.


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## adv (Feb 26, 2011)

My wife went from about 115 to about 175 over 16 years together but I always found her very sexy. Over the past year she has lost most of the extra weight and oddly enough, even though she should be more attractive to me, I guess I never lost my attraction to her in the first place.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

My dh has gained 30 pounds and so far I'm okay with that. I'm sure I would have a limit where I wouldn't like it.


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## Currant (Mar 18, 2011)

I do not think I would be attracted to him if he gained a lot of fat. 

That is not the same person I fell in love with. If his personality flip flopped I would do the same thing for the same reason.


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## MissLayla1986 (Aug 27, 2010)

for me, it's not so much an appearance issue as it is an effort/work ethic issue. ive always been into physical fitness and have worked very hard on my physique, and i want to be with someone who shares the same drive. so i'm primarily attracted to the fact that my husband is active and works out regularly and only secondarily attracted to the body that he's built through those efforts. if he gained weight not because he got lazy but because his metabolism slowed (due to age or a medical issue, for example) or he can't work out due to an injury, it wouldn't bother me at all because I would know that he still cares about his health and appearance.


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## jellybeanz_1978 (Mar 13, 2011)

who's weight gain are we talking about here? yours or your spouse? i see everyone presumed you were talking about your spouse and not yourself. I used to weigh #130lbs more than i do now, and i can honestly say that we did not have sex as much as we do now... not because my husband didn't want to, but because I didn't want to. I didn't feel sexy or attractive, even thought he always thought I was super sexy...and now that i am 135# he can't keep his hands off of me, the difference is that now I feel sexy enough to let him man handle me a little lol. I wouldnt stop having sex with my husband, but to be perfectly honest if he were to gain a large amount of weight, it would affect my attraction to him. i was 180lbs when i met my husband at 5ft 3.. and after my daughter i reached 240, then i lost it and went down to 190, then i had my son, and gained back plus more and reached my heaviest of #260...I have lost all of that weight and maintain my weight at 130 now. My husband who is 6ft 3 is steadily between 230 and 250.. If he were to go much beyond that it would affect my attraction to him for sure, but i would encourage him to come exercise with me or go for walks or change the food that we are eating.... I think if he got over 300lbs it would start to affect my view of him because i would be worried about his health...and i would also be worried as to WHY he gained so much weight, as many people know weight gain, unless due to inability to exercise due to a physical problem, is usually a result of something emotional (stress, depression, guilt etc) so I would talk with him and try to figure it out


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## bluemountain180 (Apr 18, 2011)

My husband has actually gained about 35 to 40lb in the past 3 years and I still find him sexy as all get out.  I would struggle if he were obese though, like 300lb, but I would still love him and I would do my best to help get his weight down. :smthumbup:


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## bluemountain180 (Apr 18, 2011)

Jellybeanz_1978, how did you lose your weight? Just rigerious exercise and healthy eating?


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## rppearso (Feb 4, 2011)

Nope its not really relavant, I love doing anything under the sun to my wife regardless of weight. She is entitled to sexual fullfilment regardless of weight, thats part of being married.


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## lime (Jul 3, 2010)

Significant weight gain is a total deal breaker in our relationship. For me, one of the things I love most about him is that he's athletic and in great shape. He loves outdoorsy things, running, camping, walking around for miles exploring, etc. If he were to gain weight, it would have to mean he stopped doing those things, and I would not be with the same person anymore.

As for him, he loves my current body shape--I'm naturally pretty slender, and I used to be a dancer so I'm really flexible lol. If I gained weight, it would really limit the things we could do together. Plus, I would feel horrible about myself, and that would make me less effusive emotionally and less loving towards him. 

Not to mention we're both very health conscious and know the health risks of weight gain. We want to raise happy, healthy kids together, and we can't be hypocrites when doing that.


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## Anooniemouse (May 5, 2010)

Mine has gained a considerable amount of weight ... It doesn't make me not attracted to her, nor cause me to want sex with her less, but it does make certain positions, and things I really enjoy either impossible, or very difficult, and sometimes uncomfortable. 

Sometimes making a commitment to get in shape yourself, and buying the family gym membership is enough to get them to take an interest. The hardest part is overcoming inertia, and getting over the 21 day (or in the case of working out ...42 day) hump to make it into a new habit.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

My wife's weight has fluctuated quite a bit but I always find her sexy and attractive. I'm not going to deny her no matter what she looks like. I could be hit by a train or shot to pieces before the night is over and I'd hope she'd love whatever was left of me. None of us know what we will look like an hour from now.


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## jellybeanz_1978 (Mar 13, 2011)

bluemountain180 said:


> Jellybeanz_1978, how did you lose your weight? Just rigerious exercise and healthy eating?


i cut out all carbs and sugars. I started with Atkins. I eat more now than I ever did.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

A serious weight gain wouldnt affect my love but I would be more curious about the reasoning and try to help her with it because she has always been very thin.
However, if it was a small weight gain, I would look at the pros


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I wouldn't want to have sex that much if I gained weight. I would still want my SO even if he gained weight though.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

I would love my hubs either way. Sure looks are what sparked the initial flame, but after the infatuation stage, its all about personality that keeps you together.

If weight gain really would cause you to stop sleeping with your spouse then I think that is a sign of maybe not being in true love?

Some are saying that they married this person in this physical manner, so that shouldn't change over time.

What if he/she came down with a medical condition that made them gain weight? Weight gain is weight gain, whether medical or non-medical as the reason.

So would you stop sleeping with your spouse over weight gain from a medical issue?

This is all about looks and attraction right? So what if they got into some kind of a accident and ended up with a burned or disfigured body? Would you stop sleeping with them? Clearly their looks have changed since the day you met.

I love my husband big, small, burned, smooth, hairy, wrinkly, grey, etc.

After all, vows are forever, no matter what.

I married him, not his body.

I am attracted to his personality. If that part of him changed, I could see myself not being really into him.

But physically...that's not important. Looks don't hold marriages together.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I agree with Ano. If weight gain causes you to not want to be intimate with your spouse anymore...your relationship is in for a rough ride. Age does crazy things to our bodies and they will never be as fit as when we first fell in love. So if that's the standard you're holding yourselves too...good luck after 20...30...40 years of marriage.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

raising5boyz said:


> So this can be a touchy subject....would you stop having sex with your spouse due to weight gain? Expound as needed.


No. We made commitments and promises to each other. They were not conditional. If something gives my wife physical pleasure, she gets it anytime she wants, as often as she wants, and (within the limits of corporeality) as long as she wants.


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## MindOverMatter (Jul 1, 2012)

I would -- and have -- explain to my wife that I am concerned more about her health than I am about my desire to have sex with her. 

The reality is that weight gain impacts a person in many different ways, and I know from my experience that my wife's self-esteem would take a huge hit if she were to get heavy.


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