# I rape my "wife" when she's sleeping :(



## AsILayDaing (Jan 16, 2013)

Hi! New here. I've been reading threads about how vibrators and new exciting things help out in having a better relationship. But I'm afraid it doesn't apply on us. A little bit complicated.

I'm 21 years old, my partner just turned 23. We have a 2 year old kid whom we love very much.


Yes, I know it's a bit too early for me to have a kid but hey, who doesn't know somebody who's young and has a kid these days?

We've been together for 4 years (the 2 years of courting isn't counted though), and had great sex 2 years ago. Now we. Or rather I, only have it once?twice? a month. And she doesn't even want it.


I really don't understand why is her behavior like this. It's like when our kid was born, her libido malfunctioned.

We've been having this issue for a year already, and I've always been questioning her about it and it pisses her off.

"Don't you enjoy it anymore?" "What do I need to do to make you enjoy it?" "Why do you keep holding back?"

She's always "I don't want to do it anymore..yet. I want us to get married first"

I respect that decision but in order for us to get married, I need a parents advise which my parents won't give because they believe that because we're young, we might find other people to our liking in the long run.

I am perfectly sure that she's the girl that I want to marry. Not because of emotions and butterflies on my tummy but It's been my decision ever since I told myself to.

But the no sex is just killing me. Is it my problem that when I see her in shorts and shirt with no bra it turns me on?

Awhile ago I was at her house (we aren't staying together yet, but our parents are all good with that) and she got on top of me. She was all lovey dovey and I was too. But then I started asking for sex. Begging to be exact. Still a no. It's always a no.
I said fine then lets dry hump instead, still a no. She went to sleep, I waited for her to go to sleep. Got my condom and tried to put "it" inside her while sleeping. she woke up when I was almost finished so I jacked it off while she was curled up with a "you don't respect me anymore" face. I told her beforehand that I really couldn't resist her body even though she says she's fat. Even though she's not.


This has happend atleast 10 times? Not the penetration thing but I always touch her when she sleeps. I feel like a pig. But c'mon, I ain't gettin' any for the past few months. Yes we are not married but I'd like to think so and I have plans to do so, plus we have a freakin kid. It makes me feel like I'm entitled to something but is deprived of.

In a tight and confused situation here, hope you guys could help. Thank you.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Well, you two need to work it out, maybe counseling or you will definitely need to move out. Obviously the current arrangement isn't working for you at all, and it's definitely not good. But the fact of the matter is, if she is unwilling and you are taking advantage of her sleep, it is technically rape, and even if you were married, it wouldn't make it legal :-o Even touching if she doesn't want to be touched, while she is asleep, yep, illegal. You're going to have to do what it takes to protect yourself from law-breaking.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

You are not entitled to her body. She has clearly shown and perhaps told you that she does not like to be ravaged in her sleep. She is human just as you are so you do need to respect her enough to not rape her. You should probably try going to a psychiatrist. Both of you should possibly try couples therapy as well and see what can be done, if anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

To me, that is rape. You were told no, and you stuck it in anyways. I don't want to open the whole 'is this rape' discussion again, but IMO that is rape.

Secondly, you don't sound mature enough for marriage. Neither does your "wife." And sorry to tell you this but if you think getting married will improve your sex life on its own, you REALLY aren't mature enough to get married.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Many women lose interest in sex after having kid(s) because it changes their hormones and until they bounce back, don't expect her to be in the mood.

If was cool with you having sex with her while she slept, no prob. But if she said no, I wouldn't have sex with her while she is sleeping ever again. You could get into trouble.

As for your age, getting married depends on maturity and are you ready? My parents got married in their early 20's, no issues. I got married when I was 25 and my wife was 20, no issues. It all depends on you guys.


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## AsILayDaing (Jan 16, 2013)

We're a-ok on raising our child. We take care of him in everything needed except for the milk, clothes and material things needed. We're responsible enough to handle our child.

We've been at a rough time in our relationship last year as I was we were having no time for each other, so she sought after guys who had. and same with me. Not guys though.

She wanted to feel loved and cared for. which she got from men of mid 20's, with cars, money and stable jobs. no sex though.

I on the other hand just wanted to have sex.
which i got. from 1 girl. that lasted less than 5 minutes. that we regretted of course.

We were of course both at fault and vowed to fix our relationship. make it better.

She said that I lacked time, which I now have. Enough to spend time with her, our kid and work.
She said that I wasn't sweet anymore, which I have been ever since the issue. Sweet texts, calls, blabitty blah.

Buut I feel that it's still not enough for her.



> You should probably try going to a psychiatrist


Is wanting to have sex more than your partner really that bad? I am honestly confused. I respect her when respect is due. And I understand that what I did was rape, and is verry wrong. But c'mon. I'm like a dried up withered leaf. A desert. I need. Well, WANT satisfaction.

This happened before, after the last incident I always asked first if I could. Every single day. The answer is always NO.

And yes I do things for her to make her feel relaxed because i've read in some article that sometimes they really don't have the mood for sex because of stress. So whenever i get the chance i do chores, take our kid to daycare, massage her back, rub her feet, then ask her again if we could y'know.

"Nope.Not possible"

She's the only girl i'd want to do it with. I'm leaning towards other "options" besides masturbating. Always have friction wounds. (hey, raging "teen"-ish hormones)



> Many women lose interest in sex after having kid(s) because it changes their hormones and until they bounce back, don't expect her to be in the mood.


when can she "bounce" back? I sometimes wonder if she's a robot, or she just has a HUGE amount of self control 'cause she was a Buddhist monk from her previous life.

Ready to get married? you mean like I have my own house, own car, a stable job in which I could pay my own bills and groceries?
Nope. But I'm workin' on it.

I still have two subjects left before I graduate from college, so yeah. makes it a lot more frustrating and complicated.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

AsILayDaing said:


> I respect that decision but in order for us to get married, I need a parents advise which my parents won't give because they believe that because we're young, we might find other people to our liking in the long run.


Huh? You're 21, you're partner is 23, you have a two year old child, and you need some kind of parental "advise"? And when she said "no" to sex, you waited for her to go to sleep and then penetrated her?

Sounds to me that your parents are correct. You're too young and immature for marriage (to say nothing of having a child). Counseling--absolutely.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

AsILayDaing said:


> We're a-ok on raising our child. We take care of him in everything needed except for the milk, clothes and material things needed. We're responsible enough to handle our child.
> .


Really? So you are responsible enough to raise and provide everything your child needs except, well, EVERYTHING your child needs.:smthumbup:


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

AsILayDaing said:


> We're a-ok on raising our child. We take care of him in everything needed except for the milk, clothes and material things needed.


Oy. Translation: "we are financially incapable of raising a child."


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Its not about your drive its about you penetrating her regardless of how she feels. That in itself is not respectful. If she says no that means no and continueing to take her regardless will continue to result in a no from her. You are disrespecting her. Turn off. You take her anyway. Turn off. She doesnt feel safe as a result. Another turn off. You are killing her desire and sex drive by doing this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

This entire thread seems a bit trollish.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Gaia said:


> This entire thread seems a bit trollish.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


100% agree. Either this guy is completely clueless about a lot of things in life spanning a lot of different areas, or he's trolling.

And for his sake I really hope he's trolling.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> 100% agree. Either this guy is completely clueless about a lot of things in life spanning a lot of different areas, or he's trolling.
> 
> And for his sake I really hope he's trolling.


Same here. This is just too......... Well.... I just cant believe anyone could really be so ignorant.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

^^

So she says no to sex, but yeah, go ahead and assume she likes it when you wake her up from a sound sleep with an unwanted **** in her. Great advice.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

AsILayDaing said:


> We're a-ok on raising our child. We take care of him in everything needed except for the milk, clothes and material things needed. We're responsible enough to handle our child.


Oh, ok, so you're fine with raising your child, but don't have the means to do so. Got it. Great job dad! 



AsILayDaing said:


> We've been at a rough time in our relationship last year as I was we were having no time for each other, so she sought after guys who had. and same with me. Not guys though.
> 
> She wanted to feel loved and cared for. which she got from men of mid 20's, with cars, money and stable jobs. no sex though.
> 
> ...


Ohhhhh ok! I get it, you both already cheated on each other: she, emotionally...you, physically. And you wonder why she says "NO" to sex??? Seriously? No, I am not condoning her emotional cheating, but I guarantee that I sure as hell wouldn't want my spouse to expect to be able to have sex with me after sticking it in some other chick.



AsILayDaing said:


> We were of course both at fault and vowed to fix our relationship. make it better.
> 
> She said that I lacked time, which I now have. Enough to spend time with her, our kid and work.
> She said that I wasn't sweet anymore, which I have been ever since the issue. Sweet texts, calls, blabitty blah.
> ...


It was just last year that you had sex with another girl...and you expect that she's gonna be fine with having sex with you already? You have GOT to be joking.



AsILayDaing said:


> Is wanting to have sex more than your partner really that bad? I am honestly confused. I respect her when respect is due. And I understand that what I did was rape, and is verry wrong. But c'mon. I'm like a dried up withered leaf. A desert. I need. Well, WANT satisfaction.


Nope, WANTING sex with your partner isn't bad... RAPING your partner is. She said no. You are not married. You are not even living together. You want to relieve yourself/ Do what my aunt told her ex-husband: "Find a hole in the wall!" I can't believe you have the gall to say "I know I raped her, but c'mon, it's not that bad...I deserve to be able to violate her. I need sex, after all!" C'mon, nobody is THAT stupid. And yes, the idea of being entitled to sex, by whatever means you can get it, IS STUPID!



AsILayDaing said:


> This happened before, after the last incident I always asked first if I could. Every single day. *The answer is always NO*.


And? Get over it. Again, you aren't married, nor living together. GET OVER YOURSELF!



AsILayDaing said:


> And yes I do things for her to make her feel relaxed because i've read in some article that sometimes they really don't have the mood for sex because of stress. So whenever i get the chance i do chores, take our kid to daycare, massage her back, rub her feet, then ask her again if we could y'know.
> 
> "Nope.Not possible"


Right, because CLEARLY doing nice things for her is going to make her completely forget that you raped her... repeatedly. You can do all the nice things you want... but until you put that ring on her finger, she has already stated that she isn't doing that any longer. Get over it. 



AsILayDaing said:


> She's the only girl i'd want to do it with. I'm leaning towards other "options" besides masturbating. Always have friction wounds. (hey, raging "teen"-ish hormones)


Ohhhh...so if she doesn't put out, you're gonna cheat on her again. Now where have I heard this before.....?



AsILayDaing said:


> when can she "bounce" back? I sometimes wonder if she's a robot, or she just has a HUGE amount of self control 'cause she was a Buddhist monk from her previous life.


So, she MUST be a robot or whatever because she said NO to a little boy who can't even take care of himself? She obviously sees something good in you if she continues to stay with you. Based on what you have posted thus far, I don't see it, but it's not my call there, thank God. She will "bounce" back when she is ready... which you have already stated she said NOT UNTIL YOU MARRY HER!



AsILayDaing said:


> Ready to get married? you mean like I have my own house, own car, a stable job in which I could pay my own bills and groceries?
> Nope. But I'm workin' on it.
> 
> I still have two subjects left before I graduate from college, so yeah. makes it a lot more frustrating and complicated.


So, no job, no car, no place of your own. You still, I presume, live with your parents? And you expect her to be ok with that. You can't provide for your child on your own. You can't pay your own bills or buy your own groceries... but you expect her to give it up to you whenever you want it. Yep, she got a real winner! :smthumbup:

I sincerely hope this is a troll post. Because if it isn't, you really need help. So blasé about repeatedly violating the woman you claim you want to marry... honestly, I never once saw in your posts that you love her. That's very telling as well. Seek help. You need it.

Oh, and she's not your wife, she's not even your "wife"... you aren't married or even cohabiting.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Quit raping your girlfriend. Go see a counselor. Either marry her and commit to her or tell her you don't want to; hiding behind the excuse that your parents' don't approve is disgustingly cowardly, especially when you two already have a kid together. Time to grow up, take responsibility for your actions and the child you made and the mother of that child who you are treating with blatant disrespect.


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## LittleBird (Jan 12, 2013)

AsILayDaing said:


> Hi! New here. I've been reading threads about how vibrators and new exciting things help out in having a better relationship. But I'm afraid it doesn't apply on us. A little bit complicated.
> 
> I'm 21 years old, my partner just turned 23. We have a 2 year old kid whom we love very much.
> 
> ...



YOU CANNOT PUT YOUR **** INSIDE A WOMAN WHILE SHE IS ASLEEP.

Did I *really* just read that? 

*deep breath* 

Okay, I had to say that. Seriously...I mean....SERIOUSLY? Legally, that is rape. A sleeping person cannot consent so that's Rape 2 under the law, whether you view it that way or not.

She said no. You need to work on WHY she is saying no and get to that issue.

By the way, if she didn't want to have sex with you before she sure as spit won't want to now. You have probably just taken TEN GIANT STEPS BACK. 

Good lucks with your relationship. And don't do that again or I'll probably be seeing you in my court room one day. 

I don't care if you "can't" resist, what you did was wrong.

First off, you are never ENTITLED to sex. Second of all, you aren't her husband so you sure as heck aren't entitled to it. 

She is the mother of your child and you think it's perfectly okay to penetrate her while she's sleeping?

DO NOT MARRY HER if you can't handle a few months without sex because chances are there is gonna be a time (illness, death...etc) where that is gonna happen. If you aren't mature enough to accept that without resorting to what you did, you are not ready to get married. 

Talk to her. Don't stick things in her when she's asleep.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

=/
This is fking disturbing mate, and borderline necrophilia


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## LittleBird (Jan 12, 2013)

kingsfan said:


> ^^
> 
> So she says no to sex, but yeah, go ahead and assume she likes it when you wake her up from a sound sleep with an unwanted **** in her. Great advice.


As a law student, this guy is a prosecutor's dream. No work on our part. :smthumbup:


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## LittleBird (Jan 12, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Oh, ok, so you're fine with raising your child, but don't have the means to do so. Got it. Great job dad!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


AMEN

AMEN 

AMEN :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

LittleBird said:


> Okay, I had to say that. Seriously...I mean....SERIOUSLY? Legally, that is rape. A sleeping person cannot consent so that's Rape 2 under the law, whether you view it that way or not.


Not to get into the whole 'what is rape' discussion, but I do have a question and you state you are involved in the legal aspect of our society, so I assume you may know the answer.

If one spouse were to perform oral sex on the other spouse during the marriage, and then divorced, would the 'receiving' spouse be able to claim the giving spouse raped him/her, even if the recieving spouse didn't object to the oral sex at the time, or immediately afterwards?

The reason I ask is we read a fair bit about one spouse waking the other up with oral sex and while it is generally viewed as a great thing (I know I would) it isn't done with 'consent' either all the time, more so as a gift per say. How in a situation like that would it be viewed by the courts? We all know that a jilted spouse can drag some weird things into court.


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## LittleBird (Jan 12, 2013)

kingsfan said:


> Not to get into the whole 'what is rape' discussion, but I do have a question and you state you are involved in the legal aspect of our society, so I assume you may know the answer.
> 
> If one spouse were to perform oral sex on the other spouse during the marriage, and then divorced, would the 'receiving' spouse be able to claim the giving spouse raped him/her, even if the recieving spouse didn't object to the oral sex at the time, or immediately afterwards?
> 
> The reason I ask is we read a fair bit about one spouse waking the other up with oral sex and while it is generally viewed as a great thing (I know I would) it isn't done with 'consent' either all the time, more so as a gift per say. How in a situation like that would it be viewed by the courts? We all know that a jilted spouse can drag some weird things into court.



No, they would not be able to file charges for that.

Well to clarify, you can file charges for ANYTHING. But it doesn't mean they won't laugh your ass out of the courtroom. 

There was no coercion or force involved. If there is a precedent, it is implied consent....if someone wanted to be a real ******* they could try, but they'd lose.

And especially the guy. The police officers would take one look at his morning blow job complaint and go....

:rofl:


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Not to get into the whole 'what is rape' discussion, but I do have a question and you state you are involved in the legal aspect of our society, so I assume you may know the answer.
> 
> If one spouse were to perform oral sex on the other spouse during the marriage, and then divorced, would the 'receiving' spouse be able to claim the giving spouse raped him/her, even if the recieving spouse didn't object to the oral sex at the time, or immediately afterwards?
> 
> The reason I ask is we read a fair bit about one spouse waking the other up with oral sex and while it is generally viewed as a great thing (I know I would) it isn't done with 'consent' either all the time, more so as a gift per say. How in a situation like that would it be viewed by the courts? We all know that a jilted spouse can drag some weird things into court.


It would depend on the definition of rape under state law, but my guess would be "no." It certainly would be "no" under California law, which defines rape as intercourse without consent. However, it could be a lesser offense of sexual battery or regular battery.

Of course it can be none of those things if there was consent. The lack of objection for an extended period can be taken as consent. That's one reason women who have suffered rape are advised to report it immediately.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moxy said:


> Quit raping your girlfriend. Go see a counselor. Either marry her and commit to her or tell her you don't want to; hiding behind the excuse that your parents' don't approve is disgustingly cowardly, especially when you two already have a kid together. *Time to grow up, take responsibility for your actions and the child you made and the mother of that child who you are treating with blatant disrespect.*


Couldn't have said it better.

I agree


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

A good deal of this just doesn't add up. Sounds like you both have a ton of growing up to do... and what you're doing to this girl is rape. If she were to file a report, you'd be in jail, so stop it. You're better off getting another hooker.

It seems like people that don't deserve children are always the ones blessed with them.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

We have exactly the same sort of relationship.

We don't provide anything for the kids though. Except for milk, clothes, food, material things, education, loving environment, etc.

Plus we fight all the time. I remember six years ago in the last fight we had, (this was before I met her), we weren't even in the same country because we became so distant.


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## yellowledbet (Sep 5, 2012)

AsILayDaing said:


> *Is wanting to have sex more than your partner really that bad*? I am honestly confused. I *respect* her when respect is due. *And I understand that what I did was rape, and is verry wrong*. But c'mon. I'm like a dried up withered leaf. A desert. I need. Well, WANT satisfaction.


Well you are fortunate you are not in jail and even more fortunate that she hasn't told a big brother or her dad. You are a sick person who needs serious help. There is no way to justify what you did.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Well I feel like vomiting on this thread. If my partner had the gall to say "I know I raped you, but c'mon I needed too!" well let's just say, he better not close his eyes when I'm in the room with him. He may just wake up with a tire iron, that has been sitting in a fire, wedged in his rectum.


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## LittleBird (Jan 12, 2013)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Well I feel like vomiting on this thread. If my partner had the gall to say "I know I raped you, but c'mon I needed too!" well let's just say, he better not close his eyes when I'm in the room with him. He may just wake up with a tire iron, that has been sitting in a fire, wedged in his rectum.


I have diplomatic immunity until I'm 21.

****, I'd kill the son of a *****.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Let me put this to you simply. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO ANYTHING. You cannot even make your relationship with her legitimate without your parents approval. It is called being immature. All you did is what any male animal is capable of...you created a child. 

If she is unwilling to give you sex....then use your hand. That is what a MAN does. He DOES NOT wait for a woman to fall asleep and then have sex with her. What you are doing is called RAPE!!!! You can be prosecuted for it. Are you willing to waste all that money that mommy and daddy have spent on your education just to get your rocks off.

On another note, it takes years sometimes for a woman to get her drive back. Hell mine wasn't even bouncing back until I hit my 30s. Now....look out.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

AsILayDaing said:


> *This has happend atleast 10 times? Not the penetration thing but I always touch her when she sleeps. I feel like a pig*.



^^That is an appropriate feeling for you after what you've described.



AsILayDaing said:


> But c'mon, I ain't gettin' any for the past few months. Yes we are not married but I'd like to think so and I have plans to do so, plus we have a freakin kid. It makes me feel like I'm entitled to something but is deprived of.
> 
> In a tight and confused situation here, hope you guys could help. Thank you.



No confusion, you do not respect her or her body. It is only okay to touch someone while they are sleep when they have clearly said that its okay to do so. She is clearly uncomfortable with you doing that.

I can only imagine that you made her feel dirty and disrespected by not abiding by her boundaries.


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## AsILayDaing (Jan 16, 2013)

Yeah. Thanks for the insults. It sure is helping!:smthumbup: 

Unfortunately no, this is not a troll post.

I came here to seek help from married men and women cause you guys would probably know best rather than talking about it with guy friends. But no seriously the bashing is ok I practically deserve it keep it coming if you like but I'd rather want to see a feasible solution or an option as to what I'd do with my libido.

Ignorant, yes. But with the willingness to change and learn.

Can my drive be lessened? Is it not healthy for a 21 year old to have sex this much?

I know, it's out of place. If it was only possible to snap it back in on the church aisle.

here is the thread that i saw that's a little bit close to the problems I have.

from Scannerguard


> Shelly,
> 
> I was watching a fascinating PBS special on Men and Women's brains and hormones.
> 
> ...


And please don't get the wrong notion that I don't love her, because I do. Yes rape is freakin' bad I get it. So now how do we fix this? And what kind of counsellor should we go to just in case?


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## AsILayDaing (Jan 16, 2013)

LittleBird said:


> Just so you know, your stupidity has nothing to do with being 21.
> 
> I'm 20 and even I know that's really ****ing stupid.
> 
> Just so you know.


Ok. Me? :scratchhead:? Got it thanks.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

AsILayDaing... you still have not explained why you need permission from your parents to get married.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> Is it not healthy for a 21 year old to have sex this much?


What? You're not the only 21 year old who isn't having sex. Not by a longshot. Some young men haven't even had sex at that age. Some young men don't have girlfriends, so they have sex infrequently. None of them are lining up in the doctor's office because they are suffering from illnesses caused by not having sex with a woman.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

AsILayDaing said:


> Is wanting to have sex more than your partner really that bad? I am honestly confused. I respect her when respect is due.


When is respect not due? Seems to me that in a relationship respect is always due. It is never ok to not respect your partner.

She’s not your sex partner anymore… not until you two get married. She told you that she will not have sex with you again until after marriage. She found out something very important. Sex = babies. She does not want to get pregnant again. The only 100% sure birth control method is abstinence. Plus, your relationship does not sound like it’s all that good. So she probably wants to make sure that the two of you work on it before she gets back to having sex with you. Makes a lot of sense.


AsILayDaing said:


> And I understand that what I did was rape, and is verry wrong. But c'mon. I'm like a dried up withered leaf. A desert. I need. Well, WANT satisfaction.


She is not responsible for your ‘satisfaction’. You have a hand so take care of it yourself. Or get some toys from a sex toy site.

You apparently do not realize how bad what you did was. If you cannot control yourself then the two of you should never be alone together. Hopefully she will figure this out. And hopefully you will act like an adult and make sure that you are not alone with your anymore. When you two play around together and sleep in the same bed it will get you aroused, so you need to stop doing it. You need to take control for your own good.



AsILayDaing said:


> This happened before, after the last incident I always asked first if I could. Every single day. The answer is always NO.


I guess she means NO. Get it?



AsILayDaing said:


> And yes I do things for her to make her feel relaxed because i've read in some article that sometimes they really don't have the mood for sex because of stress. So whenever i get the chance i do chores, take our kid to daycare, massage her back, rub her feet, then ask her again if we could y'know.
> 
> "Nope.Not possible"


When you do things like give massages and foot rubs thinking it’s going to lead to sex, she can tell what you are doing. It’s a huge turnoff for a man to use non-sexual thinking that somehow it pays for sex. It does not. How about just using non-sexual touch as a way to increase your non-sexual intimacy? You know just like conversation does.
Taking your kid to daycare is not ‘helping’ her. It’s your responsibility to take care of your child 50% of the time. The same goes for chores. Why do you think that doing thing that are your responsibility should lead to her wanting sex with you?


AsILayDaing said:


> She's the only girl i'd want to do it with. I'm leaning towards other "options" besides masturbating. Always have friction wounds. (hey, raging "teen"-ish hormones)


What other options?




AsILayDaing said:


> when can she "bounce" back? I sometimes wonder if she's a robot, or she just has a HUGE amount of self control 'cause she was a Buddhist monk from her previous life.


She probably has self-control because she’s realized that there is responsibility associated with sex. It’s not just a way to get you off and satisfied. It creates little people. You have a little person right now who you cannot even feed, clothe or keep a roof over its head. If she had to depend on you to support your child, the child would have died a long time ago. That’s a HUGE turn off.


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## AsILayDaing (Jan 16, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> AsILayDaing... you still have not explained why you need permission from your parents to get married.


I need a parents advise for that but still can't get because I still have 2 subjects in college that I'm working on (2nd week of the term, so far so good).

My parents are supportive and happy I have a kid (It was the opposite when I told them the first time) and are currently shouldering the financial needs. For them, if I asked to get married it means that I can afford my own house, my own car, build my own empire. Things that I'm not really capable at the moment.

I'm no bum. It's a custom in our country for the children to leave the house when they get married.

I don't want to divert my drive to toys and helping myself off as much as possible. I want to lessen it. I'm trying to blame my hormones here, but is it just really all in the mind?

other options like, i don't know. a testosterone decreaser thingy?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

AsILayDaing said:


> I need a parents advise for that but still can't get because I still have 2 subjects in college that I'm working on (2nd week of the term, so far so good).
> 
> My parents are supportive and happy I have a kid (It was the opposite when I told them the first time) and are currently shouldering the financial needs. For them, if I asked to get married it means that I can afford my own house, my own car, build my own empire. Things that I'm not really capable at the moment.
> 
> ...


What country do you live in? 

I don't know what you mean by needing your parent's "advise"? Do you mean that you will not get married until they agree? You can get married legally, right?

No, your sex drive is not in your head. It's your hormones that control your sex drive. I doubt that you would get any legitimate doctor to give you anything to decrease your testosterone leaves. It does not just control your sex drive. It would play havoc with your entire body and mind.


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## AsILayDaing (Jan 16, 2013)

Philippines.

It's like an authorization letter for me to get married since I'm still 21.

I got it from this site



> What happens if parental advice is required, but not secured or given?
> 
> The validity of the marriage is not affected. If the parties do not obtain such advice, or if it be unfavorable, the marriage license shall not be issued till after three (3) months following the completion of the publication of the application. If the marriage license is issued before the lapse of this period, then the responsible parties shall be civilly, criminally and administratively liable.
> 
> ...


I know marriage would not solve the problem, but It'd also help to solve it.

What I don't understand is this part.

"If the marriage license is issued before the lapse of this period, then the responsible parties shall be civilly, criminally and administratively liable."


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

AsILayDaing said:


> Philippines.
> 
> It's like an authorization letter for me to get married since I'm still 21.
> 
> ...


Basically, they need to advise you during the time between 21 and 25. You DO NOT need consent from them during that time. And if they don't advise you, it means you need to wait 3 months before you can get the license issued. If it is issued WITHIN that 3 month period, THEN you are liable, from my understanding of the wording. Basically, if you want to get married, you do NOT need them to consent to it at the age of 21. You CAN go and and apply for the license, I believe, but can't GET it until the 3 months have passed. I might be wrong... but worst case scenario... ASK SOMEONE THERE! However, I still would say, based on your posts, that you are NOT ready for marriage...and not because of school., either.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

kingsfan said:


> 100% agree. Either this guy is completely clueless about a lot of things in life spanning a lot of different areas, or he's trolling.
> 
> And for his sake I really hope he's trolling.


It's fiction. Thank god because it's repulsive.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

IMO, don't get married. If there are this many issues right now, (especially involving sex or lack there of) and you're both young, chances are it wont get better.


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