# Massage parlour



## Reya (Feb 28, 2018)

His massage parlour visit and do everything to ejavulate.. is it abnormal or its me? It hurts me alot. But he told me himself about his visit..


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## Reya (Feb 28, 2018)

*Husband massage parlour visit*

My husband goes to full body thai massage parlour in thailand and he did everything there physically. Now i dont know how should i react. But it hurts me alot.. he told me himself about this massage.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

*Re: Husband massage parlour visit*

Well, he paid for sexual favors, so you should react the same way you would if he told you he uses hookers. No one can tell you how You should react, but most wives would flip the F out. Has he been STD tested yet? Have you?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Husband massage parlour visit*

He cheated. How you react is up to you, but most people would be outraged and many would divorce over it. 

But its important that you think about what *you* want to do, now what other people would do in the same situation.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Depends on what you mean by "abnormal". A lot of men do it, just as a lot of people cheat. That absolutely doesn't make it OK. Most people would consider it cheating. Many would divorce over it . 

You might want to combine threads.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Reya said:


> His massage parlour visit and do everything to ejavulate.. is it abnormal or its me? It hurts me alot. But he told me himself about his visit..


It's unacceptable behavior to patronize prostitutes when in a committed relationship without the permission of your partner. And make no mistake, there is no difference between a "masseuse" who does happy endings and a hooker. They're both accepting money for sexual favors.

So, the real question is are you ok with having a romantic partner who cheats on you with prostitutes?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Reya said:


> His massage parlour visit and do everything to ejavulate.. is it abnormal or its me? It hurts me alot. But he told me himself about his visit..


I have merged both of your threads into the Coping with Infidelity forum. I think you'll get more traction here.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Husband massage parlour visit*



Reya said:


> My husband goes to full body thai massage parlour in thailand and he did everything there physically. Now i dont know how should i react. But it hurts me alot.. he told me himself about this massage.


First of all you do know how to react and you post makes that clear. You feel betrayed and your wedding vows and promises made to you about a monogamous relationship were a promise by your H not kept. That is why it hurts you so much.

If there is good news it is that he told you about it, which means on some level he probably has some shame or regret. You really need to make sure he does regret cheating on you. Another piece of good news is that it wasn't in a place you now live, so his chance of repeating it may be less (although there are shady massage parlors all over the world.) 

A final piece of good news is that he didn't fall deeply emotionally involved with the woman like so many men in physical affairs.

Now you need to decide whether you can forgive the pain he has caused you or not. If you want to reconcile your marriage, you need set some firm boundaries with him so nothing like this ever happens again. You also need for him to understand that it will take a lot for you to be ever able to trust him again and in fact you many never regain the trust you once had for him. That can change the marriage from what it was so something different. Only you and your H can decide if that different marriage will satisfy the both of you. If you want to try at reconciliation, get some good marriage counseling and make sure your H has remorse, understands he has no more chances to screw up, and that he is committed to the marriage counseling process.

Good luck.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Reya, he should not have done it. He cheated on you.

Have you thought about what someone else mentioned, the needs for STD/HIV tests for him and you?


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## Reya (Feb 28, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> @Reya, he should not have done it. He cheated on you.
> 
> Have you thought about what someone else mentioned, the needs for STD/HIV tests for him and you?




He told me that he did not do anything proper.. so there is no need for hiv test. But he is still in thailand. But goes to massage parlour and allowed any other girl to touch your body and ejaculates in any forms, isn't this cheating on me?


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Yes he is cheating on you.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Now, what are you going to do?

He obviously doesn’t see it as cheating but you do. What are you wanting to know now?

If my wife had done this, she would be receiving divorce papers.


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## Reya (Feb 28, 2018)

M not able to think anything now. I dont know what i should do. I cant accept him from heart.. how can he do this to me. And he has no regret over it.. he said it is just part of massage, If came to thailand and this massage is famous over here then why not i try.. he has no regret what he did..


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Reya said:


> He told me that he did not do anything proper.. so there is no need for hiv test. But he is still in thailand. But goes to massage parlour and allowed any other girl to touch your body and ejaculates in any forms, isn't this cheating on me?


Yes. It is cheating on you.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Reya said:


> M not able to think anything now. I dont know what i should do. I cant accept him from heart.. how can he do this to me. And he has no regret over it.. he said it is just part of massage, If came to thailand and this massage is famous over here then why not i try.. he has no regret what he did..


Sorry Reya that this is happening. What he is saying is just an excuse, a way to justify it to himself. 

Get with a family member or friend and let them know what is happening. You need support and someone hugging on you right now. There will be time later for you to decide you next step. 

Don’t think you are the only one that this has happened to. There is another thread where Thailand has ruined a marriage.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

It is entirely up to you and what you can tolerate.
It is a good sign he told you about it, instead of hiding it.
It is not so good a sign that you seem to not be OK with it, and he did not ask first.

If YOU went to a massage parlor and the male masseuse gave you a sexual massage, would he be OK with it?

I can see this evolving into some sort of "open marriage", but only for massages with professionals...no emotional involvement


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Talker67 said:


> It is entirely up to you and what you can tolerate.
> It is a good sign he told you about it, instead of hiding it.
> It is not so good a sign that you seem to not be OK with it, and he did not ask first.
> 
> ...


Not if that is what @Reya doesn't want! I think she wants faithfulness, not the opportunity for both of them to have sexual affairs!


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

A couple of thoughts. It sounds like he is still in Thailand and still going to erotic massage parlors, while she is somewhere else.

Long Distance Relationships are tough. However, the OP has not drawn a line in the sand nor has she said that she has set boundaries on what her H is doing. 

You have to ask why? She needs to decide what she will accept as far as husband behavior and where she draws the line. She then needs to inform him of that line and if there is in her mind any hope of reconciling. But by all means she needs to tell him in no uncertain terms to stop, if that is what is important to her.

This is a question of her morals and her view of the integrity of her marriage.

I wish her luck. I think she will need it. This is a very bad situation.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Reya said:


> He told me that he did not do anything proper.. so there is no need for hiv test. But he is still in thailand. But goes to massage parlour and allowed any other girl to touch your body and ejaculates in any forms, isn't this cheating on me?


Yes it cheating and being that he sees nothing wrong with it, you may need to end this marriage.


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## Reya (Feb 28, 2018)

Now he shows me that he feel guilty that why he go thailand but he dont accept that his masaage parlour visit is guilty..


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Reya said:


> Now he shows me that he feel guilty that why he go thailand but he dont accept that his masaage parlour visit is guilty..


Explain Reya. Does he feel guilty for hurting you?


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## Reya (Feb 28, 2018)

He feels guilty that why he went thailand not for massage. Nd he shows me that now he is very upset but he dont accept that he has guilty for hurting me..


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