# 50 Shades Of Grey Is More Disgusting Than Porn



## bogey (Feb 17, 2012)

my wife has the collection. I was curious to see what the hoopla around this series was so I read a few excerpts from 50 shades freed and..wow..this is pornography. nothing virtually nothing about the books beforehand, the *graphic* descriptions of the sexual encounters took me a bit by surprise. one could argue its even worse than porn. something about words on a page marinates a lot longer. with porn, you get your nut, immediately move on and maybe go get something to eat. erotic novels really sells dreams to women..keeps them fantasizing long after they put the book down. with porn, the fantasy ends the moment you cum.

i'm very disturbed by the popularity of these books :scratchhead:


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

yes, erotic fiction can be considered pornography. Why disturbed, because it's so popular?


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## lonewolf8545 (Jan 12, 2013)

I think your being a little prudish. Its probably a good thing in a good relationship because it opens people up to new sexual experiences and a discussion of the topic.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

You know.... I have, in the past, read erotic literature. I have, in the past, viewed pornography. Wanna know what stuck in my mind the longest? The porn I saw on the screen. If I read a regular novel, I remember that content far longer. So, I don't think you can say one stays with you longer than the other. They affect each person in different ways.

The one thing I have to say about all the nonsense surrounding porn and these stupid books is that the more people speak out against them, the more others are going to want to get them. Think about that.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

At least there is nothing about fisting in those books, now that is disturbing!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You have peaked my curiousity.
When is the movie coming out? I'm not much of a book guy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How many times a week does your wife masterbate while reading those books (seems that it would be hard to read after a while during masterbation :scratchhead: )

Has her constant use of the books led to her refusing to have sex with you because she prefers masterbating to them?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

The sex got boring after a while. Far too many 'oh my's'
Was flicking past it to get to the romance stuff.
Didn't even bother with the second book.
Are men ry concerned about these books???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I haven't read these books so don't know if they continually replay in the mind afterwards. However, I have watched porn and found the ugliness of it turned me off sex for a while.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> *I haven't read these books* so don't know if they continually replay in the mind afterwards. However, I have watched porn and found the ugliness of it turned me off sex for a while.


Funny thing about all the outcry over these books... makes me want to read them just so I can tell people to STFU about it.... same thing happened with Magic Mike. All of a sudden, there was a movie so many thought was porn for women... turned out it wasn't even close to that lol. I reiterate: the more outcry, the more people want to see/read/get it. Just saying....


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Your question implies porn is bad so I didn't answer. Yes, the novels are sexually graphic. They are about both the sexual and co-dependent nature of their relationship. They weren't well written much like porn. LOL Just as porn she had orgasms that are unrealistic for most women. 

Those who read these books know that and aren't expecting their own sex lives to be like that. But they probably do get a lot of women's engines revving and both parties benefit form that much like porn. 

And I agree that visual images stay with me much longer than a book. I can still remember the first porn movie a girlfriend showed me surreptitiously in high school.  But I can't visualize or repeat any particular scenes from the book.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

I like porn.


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## Malcolm38 (Dec 25, 2012)

Porn is evil and men should be arrested for looking at it. Erotic literature is classy and women have a right to read it all day without even being questioned! 

etc. etc......


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Oh come on. No one is arguing that. Porn is fine and that literature isn't classy. It's just entertainment.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I can't talk about the writing style because English is not my native language but I enjoyed reading 50 Shades. I disagree that it's more disgusting than porn.
I prefer it over porn. It turned me on a lot.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Malcolm38 said:


> Porn is evil and men should be arrested for looking at it. Erotic literature is classy and women have a right to read it all day without even being questioned!
> 
> etc. etc......


Hear hear.


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Haven't read it, wife isn't interested in reading it - BSDM is not our thing.

In general, I have no issue with erotic literature, or explict films really - except that in the main, they seem fairly tawdry, and they strain my suspension of disbelief too much to work for me.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

bogey, did you originally have a poll on this thread, because I didn't notice it on my mobile, or else I would have worded my reply a little differently. I didn't answer the poll for the same reasons as Enjoliwoman, because porn is not necessarily either "bad" or "good".


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I LOVED the 50 Shades books. I read 1,2,3 then 1 and 2 immediately again right after 3. I think they were incredibly well written. I never read a book where you get into the person's head so well. The flack I'm reading about these books almost makes it like I should be embarrassed for admitting that I loved them.

The biggest most important life changing thing I got from these books, is that they made me want to have great sex, too. I know these books are fiction, but reading plenty of posts here at TAM, I have learned that having great sex isn't fiction. And I'm not saying that I need the BDSM part, although I think it would be fun to try. I'm saying that I want slow great sex. I want awesome oral sex. I want amazing PIV sex. I want an orgasm from PIV sex. I want my H to touch all my erogenous zones.

It was because I read these books, that I asked my H to try anal sex (this did not happen in these books). It's because of these books, that I've asked my H to try new positions. It's because of these books that I bought the book, "she comes first" for my H, which he is not reading, in the hopes that OS can be better for me and not a race to the finish.

These books totally made me want this for myself. After reading these books, I've read a lot more erotic fiction - books by Cherise Sinclair, and how-to books like How to give a better BJ, 50 Shades of Pleasure, Hot Sex Tips, and other books in the hopes to make my boring sex life a bit more spiced up.

And believe it or not, I LOVED the love story. I would guess that the actual sex in these books was maybe 15-20% or less of the pages in these books. I would never use the word 'disgusting' to describe these books.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

The most disturbing thing about the "Grey" series isn't the graphic sex, it's the implication about pedophilia (the main male character was indeed, underage when introduced to BSDM) and how the relationship between the man characters fulfills a lot of qualifications about being abusive. (Which so does Twilight.) 

Also, the phrase "inner goddess" makes me LMAO.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Dog's axiom of technology is

"Anything that can be used for sexual gratification AND ANYTHING ELSE, will be used for sexual gratification."

It's the contrapositive of Rule #34 {If it exists, there is porn of it}


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I don't think porn is bad or good. It like many other things in life can be an addiction, but not everyone who watches porn gets addicted to it. There's a time and place for porn. I'm not a porn hater.

Erotic literature has existed for hundreds of years. 

50 Shades of Gray isn't even a good erotic lit book. It started out as fan fiction from the Twilight vampire series. Replace Christian with Edward, and Anna with Belle, and you have the Twilight series. The writing and characters are so badly done in 50 Shades. I consider the book's popularity a mystery. There are erotic stories that are far, far better. Don't ask me how I know. 

For those who are curious about the 50 Shades books, but don't want to read them, here's a hilarious blog of a man reading them and giving his own review!

A Man Reads 50 Shades Of Grey


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

bogey said:


> my wife has the collection. I was curious to see what the hoopla around this series was so I read a few excerpts from 50 shades freed and..wow..this is pornography. nothing virtually nothing about the books beforehand, the *graphic* descriptions of the sexual encounters took me a bit by surprise. one could argue its even worse than porn. something about words on a page marinates a lot longer. with porn, you get your nut, immediately move on and maybe go get something to eat. erotic novels really sells dreams to women..keeps them fantasizing long after they put the book down. with porn, the fantasy ends the moment you cum.
> 
> i'm very disturbed by the popularity of these books :scratchhead:


Are you disturbed because this has prompted your wife to want you to "up your game", so to speak?


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Loved your link, Coffee.

Here's another one:

Katrina Passick Lumsden (Charlotte, MI)'s review of Fifty Shades of Grey


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

daisygirl 41 said:


> The sex got boring after a while. Far too many 'oh my's'
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


http://youtu.be/7WahBH9sANg
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Most women don't even read erotic novels :/ I couldnt read it, was really boring. I tried to get through it with all my friends but I just couldnt


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> How many times a week does your wife masterbate while reading those books (seems that it would be hard to read after a while during masterbation :scratchhead: )
> 
> Has her constant use of the books led to her refusing to have sex with you because she prefers masterbating to them?


Hi *EleGirl*. I have a great deal of respect for you having read a lot of your posts, and I believe that you will hear me out on this.

In my ever humble opinion, which is infallible but seems to differ from yours here, is that romance novels are porn for women. Since women are more about emotions and, well, romance - whereas men are more gutteral, just skip to the centerfold please...

And I did have a wife that was addicted to them, and it did interfere in our sex life. I had no idea how voraciously she read them because I was working so hard and she hid it from me. When I saw her reading one early on in our marriage I asked very sincerely out of curiosity if I could see it. I was taken aback by her reaction. Wow. Talk about defensive, shielding it from me and refusing to let me see it. I was confused after the initial shock - like, you're kidding right? Are you serious? You're that warped about this to where I can't even _look _at it?!

I let it slide, what would be the point of fighting over something so silly. So I thought. I knew she had a lot of them because there was a small bookshelf and a box behind it full of them. But when I finally threw her out, I found her secret stash. My God, it was boxes and boxes - big moving boxes - full of them in the back of the garage. Hundreds of them. I know she threw many out, and also donated some to the laundromat down the road where they have a little library people donate books to. So this was some kind of serious addiction. 

I think that as with porn, it can be an occasional thing that men look at - or it can be so consuming as to interfere in a relationship, replacing what the relationship should be providing. Which, for a woman is more leaning towards the emotional connection and romance in comparison to husbands who are more like cave-men. Intimacy vs orgasm for lack of a better way to put it. The needs of both can be fulfilled in a healthy sex life. But if either one is too "into" mens vs women's porn there is going to be a problem.


Maybe I read you wrong there though.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Just to take a moment and disagree, a healthy sex life isn't all that is required to create the kind of intimacy that is presented as fantasy in romance novels. It's about far more than the intimacy of sex. You can read this across mulitple threads here on TAM. 

And just let me clarify - romance novels are different than erotica. Romance novels, while they might feature sex, are about more than just the sex, and generally, the sex in them is far from graphic, but uses kind of quaint, antiquated terms for acts and body parts. Some romance novels never actually feature sex. 

Romance novel - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Erotica - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For women, intimacy doesn't happen just in the bedroom, its a collective experience based on the emotions they feel with their partner, and indeed from sex. Does he make you feel feminine? Does he make you feel safe? Can you be yourself with him? Can you tell him the truth? Does he accept you for who you are? Can you let your guard down with him? Can you indeed, give yourself to him in abandon without being concerned he won't respect you or your feelings?

And you can read all across TAM about the reasons that that level of intimacy doesn't exist between a lot of couples. Intimacy requires trust, and for one reason or another, there are a lot of trust issues in a lot of marriages. Did he cheat on you? Does he shame you about your dreams and ambitions? Does he treat you as a lesser partner? Does he weigh the opinions of others more than your own? And perhaps most damagingly does he physically or emotionally guilt you about sex? 

While I'm not a particularly big fan overall of the Alpha/Beta concept, if you wanted to see the perfect example of an Alpha/Beta mix look at a romance novel man. He is good looking, he is confident, he is in peak physical shape. He could have anyone he wanted. But he doesn't, he wants you (or so you imagine when you begin to see yourself in the place of the heroine.) He will fight for you, literally or figuratively, if the need be. He respects you, he cares for you, he isn't afraid to whisper sweet nothings. 

Added to that is the atmosphere, as many romance novels are set in the past. When the atmosphere itself is more sensual - when the differences between male and female dressing was difference - lace, and corsets, and stockings. When hands were kisses, when doors were opened. When men stood when you stood. The imagination of life being about more than the 9 to 5 grind. It's an idealized vision of a life we don't know - of a time when men challenged each other to duels over honor. 

I myself have never read a romance novel in its entirety, but I know where this ideal comes from - think about romantic movies, especially period pieces. Think about say - Nathaniel from the film Last of the Mohicans. He says quite simply, one of the romantic things you can likely imagine, in the midst of blood and chaos and fighting, "I will come for you." 

This isn't just about sex. It's about wanting to be pursued, about wanting to be wanted. And is that different than what a man needs, perhaps so. But - like porn, if someone is that deep into romance novels, something is missing from their life. Now whether or not the person can address that or fix that is a different question. Romance novels can be a problem, just like porn can, if it becomes a substitute to one's real relationship. But that takes both partners to be willing to deal with and address the problem.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Which, is why that I voted that 50 Shades of Grey is worse than porn, it presents a fantasy that is dangerous. That if you have enough sex or love, you can magically transform a self-entitled, pleasure-seeking narcissist into a perfect husband and father.


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## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

Starstarfish said:


> Which, is why that I voted that 50 Shades of Grey is worse than porn, it presents a fantasy that is dangerous. That if you have enough sex or love, you can magically transform a self-entitled, pleasure-seeking narcissist into a perfect husband and father.


I absolutely hated "50 Shades", it's a sad, pathetic book that has no real basis in what a healthy relationship should be like.
The sex didn't offend me, the sick, twisted co-dependent relationship offended me.
If someone thinks that this book represents a healthy, adult relationship they want to aspire to, I think they need to re-evaluate what they think a healthy relationship looks like.
That so many woman have responded positively to this book/ series shows just how a lot of people are really confused when it comes to romanticizing unhealthy relationships & fantasy lives.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

The etymological roots of the word, 'pornography' predate the invention of the camera by many centuries. 

The word was coined to describe a *sexually explicit story.*

That is still the primary definition in most English dictionaries.

Why isn't the dictionary good enough for TAM?


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## TeaLeaves4 (Feb 19, 2010)

Cosmos said:


> I haven't read these books so don't know if they continually replay in the mind afterwards. However, I have watched porn and found the ugliness of it turned me off sex for a while.


Same here! 

At least in these books no humans are being exploited.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

bogey said:


> my wife has the collection. I was curious to see what the hoopla around this series was so I read a few excerpts from 50 shades freed and..wow..this is pornography. nothing virtually nothing about the books beforehand, the *graphic* descriptions of the sexual encounters took me a bit by surprise. one could argue its even worse than porn. something about words on a page marinates a lot longer. with porn, you get your nut, immediately move on and maybe go get something to eat. erotic novels really sells dreams to women..keeps them fantasizing long after they put the book down. with porn, the fantasy ends the moment you cum.
> 
> i'm very disturbed by the popularity of these books :scratchhead:


I have never read it simply because everyone else in the world has and keeps going on and on about it. I'm a rebel.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Well if a woman was upset her man was watching porn, some here would tell her all men do it and get over it. I will do the same, all women read dirty novels, get over it. 

Now since that was insensitive and it is when people say that to women whose men watch porn too, the only other thing I know to tell you is people need to either practice acceptance, or they find someone who is on the same page with how they feel about certain things.


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## janefw (Jun 26, 2012)

bogey said:


> my wife has the collection. I was curious to see what the hoopla around this series was so I read a few excerpts from 50 shades freed and..wow..this is pornography. nothing virtually nothing about the books beforehand, the *graphic* descriptions of the sexual encounters took me a bit by surprise. one could argue its even worse than porn. something about words on a page marinates a lot longer. with porn, you get your nut, immediately move on and maybe go get something to eat. erotic novels really sells dreams to women..keeps them fantasizing long after they put the book down. with porn, the fantasy ends the moment you cum.
> 
> i'm very disturbed by the popularity of these books :scratchhead:


I haven't read these books, never will, and won't see any movie/s that they make. I chose the option that erotic novels are as bad as porn, because they are both selling fantasies.

I also don't want to have anything to do with these books because I think: really? Women are reading domination fantasies? <Big eye roll> I dunno, it seems we have fought so hard against the patriarchal, domineering, male ruled society .. and to find that it turns some women on just makes me sad. The reality of that society would most definitely not turn women on.


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## janefw (Jun 26, 2012)

TeaLeaves4 said:


> Same here!
> 
> At least in these books no humans are being exploited.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is true. No women had their vagina ripped and torn, and no men or women or risked STD's in the making of this book .. but I believe that, nonetheless, it can be just as damaging to the reader's psyche.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

janefw said:


> I also don't want to have anything to do with these books because I think: really? Women are reading domination fantasies? <Big eye roll> I dunno, it seems we have fought so hard against the patriarchal, domineering, male ruled society .. and to find that it turns some women on just makes me sad. The reality of that society would most definitely not turn women on.


This is reality whether someone wrote a book about it or not. Some women love it, others dont. We are all entitled to our own sexuality. Deal with it.


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