# deleting a thread



## 3stateslater

I'm curious how one goes about deleting a thread they started. I came here looking for polite guidance (even if I didn't like what was said) but instead I've found more people telling me how bad of a person I am, so I'd rather just lurk & see if I can learn from others' posts. No sense in setting myself up for being kicked when I'm already down. The one set of instructions I found from 2014 don't work.


Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance


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## toblerone

The level of vitriol you believe you have experienced in that thread isn't even that high. Some are just criticizing. If you're too defensive to hear those things, how do you expect to get through deciding where you're going to take your marriage next?


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## Emerging Buddhist

Deleting a thread will not happen... it's akin to trying to remove a single strand of yarn from the middle of a weave, ruins the whole database sweater.

You may ask a moderator to lock a thread, but remember we are voluntary guests here... they are good people and most kind though, and if within the agreed rules they will do what they can to help you.
@EleGirl can guide you.


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## Satya

There are many who post here and don't like the advice they get.

I think of it as the advice you'd get from a good friend. It's rarely something you want to hear, but you need to hear it and it could end the friendship, it's that jarring. 

Many of us have been on either side of the issue, and we know the signs. We know the play on words, and we know the excuses and the rationalizing. Not every story is unique, because at the end of the day, we are all human.

You say you've exhausted your efforts... If so, end the marriage and do things the humble way. Or, focus on the marriage and have come to Jesus talk with your husband so he knows you're fed up and will be out the door without change. We teach others how to treat us. 

I suspect you've never had such blunt advice before, so it came as an unwelcome shock. Don't mistake it for lack of support, it's just not a brand of support you are accustomed to.

I respect if you just want to lurk. Go ahead, your post will eventually get lost in the sea of others. The mods don't usually delete things.

All the best.


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## 3stateslater

Satya said:


> There are many who post here and don't like the advice they get.
> 
> I think of it as the advice you'd get from a good friend. It's rarely something you want to hear, but you need to hear it and it could end the friendship, it's that jarring.
> 
> Many of us have been on either side of the issue, and we know the signs. We know the play on words, and we know the excuses and the rationalizing. Not every story is unique, because at the end of the day, we are all human.
> 
> You say you've exhausted your efforts... If so, end the marriage and do things the humble way. Or, focus on the marriage and have come to Jesus talk with your husband so he knows you're fed up and will be out the door without change. We teach others how to treat us.
> 
> I suspect you've never had such blunt advice before, so it came as an unwelcome shock. Don't mistake it for lack of support, it's just not a brand of support you are accustomed to.
> 
> I respect if you just want to lurk. Go ahead, your post will eventually get lost in the sea of others. The mods don't usually delete things.
> 
> All the best.


Thanks. There's a difference between being honest & truthful & being rude. Do I like everything that's been said even when said kindly, no, and that's ok. I wasn't expecting to. But I see no value in belittling someone when they're already hurting. And believe me, I've had more come to Jesus meetings with my husband than I can count & things get better for a couple weeks but then return to the same old stuff. But thank you for not being hateful


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## Malaise

Satya said:


> I suspect you've never had such blunt advice before, so it came as an unwelcome shock. Don't mistake it for lack of support, it's just not a brand of support you are accustomed to.


There are those of us who wish the blunt advice were there when we had our problems years ago.

OP, be grateful, not for what you see is abuse, but for the availability of advice from people who have BTDT.


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## EleGirl

Please read the forum rules. It addresses deleting thread.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/forum-guidelines/350914-posting-guidelines-forum-rules-2017-a.html


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## 269370

3stateslater said:


> I'm curious how one goes about deleting a thread they started. I came here looking for polite guidance (even if I didn't like what was said) but instead I've found more people telling me how bad of a person I am, so I'd rather just lurk & see if I can learn from others' posts. No sense in setting myself up for being kicked when I'm already down. The one set of instructions I found from 2014 don't work.
> 
> 
> Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance


Read some of the threads in CWI and you will understand where many posters are coming from. A lot here have been cheated on so the advice will be 'harsh' if you are contemplating something along the lines...But it's true: these guys/girls know what they are talking about, don't take it personally.


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