# Broken Connection - Only wants space



## mydoghasfleas (Aug 27, 2014)

I am trying to work on our marriage. My wife has been pushing me away for months. Every time I try to spend time with her or talk to her, she's angry and tells me to leave her alone. We aren't having sex and we barely sleep in the same bed. I believe she's suffering from depression and anxiety which she would blame on me. Her coworker was very verbally and emotionally abusive to her for months. Thankfully this person no longer works with her. But the damage is done. I am trying to put her needs first and be loving, but I suffer a lot of emotional and verbal abuse. She won't admit she needs help. I feel stuck.

I love her and I don't want our family to break up. I want her to be happy and I want her to not feel how she does. I just don't know what to do. I'm sure she feels I'm smothering her. But at the same time, we need to spend time together to re-connect. I'm reading Marriage Fitness by Mort Mertel. The book makes a lot of sense. We accidentally did most of what was in his book months ago for about 10 days. Things went from bad to good. Then the vacation was over and things returned to being bad. I'm trying to find a good time to ask her to go through the book with me. Every conversation is ugly and short. I'm at a loss as to what I can do differently. 

Anyone else gone through this?


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

I understand what you are going through and it is not uncommon. The more you try and fix things and pursue her I feel the worse things will get. I advocate a program of self improvement and redirection for YOU. Give her space and in your own way behave like you are not going to put up with any crap that you do not deserve. You must be be willing to accept whatever may ultimately happen even if it results in a split. No one wants their family to split but you have a right to be treated with respect and be happy. Do not compromise that goal. Others will have more to offer soon. Hang in there.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You say that when you did what the book said to do, things were good. So why did you not continue to do what the book says to do?

I agree with the idea of you focusing on yourself. Do things that are good for your. Give her space.

If she starts to be abusive, just tell her that she can talk to you when she is ready to speak to you respectfully.

It sounds like you need to learn to set healthy boundaries. There are some good books on Amazon (or in any book store) that teach how to set healthy boundaries.

Now let's look at what you are doing for yourself... could you tell us about that?

Are you working out?
Do you have friends for support?
How is your job? 

Do you have children, if so what do you do with them?


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