# Tips for adding a little spice and passion in your marriage...



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

*Hold his/her gaze*

Your meaningful glance will relay the message that more is on your mind than passing the green beans. *That first spark you felt with your mate was probably through eye contact*, and your shared gaze remains powerful.


*Remind yourself how sexy your spouse is*

Your days are likely filled with responsibilities and compromises that are decidedly unsexy, and sometimes it can seem like you're running on parallel tracks with the person you married, just trying to get it all done. But, if you take a few minutes to think about your partner as your chosen lover, you'll feel more connected. This is foreplay's foreplay, getting yourself primed to reach out to your partner.


*Create a private "I want you" signal*

An ear tug or wink will mean nothing to those around you, but you'll both know what the other is thinking. Covert foreplay in public often adds to the sensual vibe you are seeking.


*Share an exciting visual...*

...be it a sexy movie scene or a salacious perfume ad with your partner.

Is there a particular sensual image or scene that moves you whenever you see it? The next time it's on, call your partner into the room, and feel the charged atmosphere that appears. Remind yourself that your spouse is the only person on earth at this moment that can offer you sex.


*Devise a language that only the two of you speak*

Name your body parts so you can publicly say how you are looking forward to spending time with "George" later on. This may seem silly, but sharing a laugh is actually a great way to engage in continuing foreplay. The connection you feel when you giggle together is one step away from the togetherness you share when you are intimate. In fact, laughing and togetherness often occur simultaneously. (Laughter is just one element of a great relationship.)

*Predictability is not sexy*

Surprise your spouse by introducing an arousing vibe into otherwise mundane moments. Give him/her a long, unbroken kiss while stopped at a red light. Sometimes it's the surprise that counts!


*Be open about what you like...*

...and what you feel may be missing.

A brief conversation conducted with humor and love will give each of you the opportunity to honestly propose new ideas. If you're too shy to talk about sex directly, give your spouse hints as to what you desire the next time you make love. A well-timed moan or touch may speak volumes, depending on the other person's capacity to read between the lines.


*Have sensual shower time*

The combination of warm water and cleansing lubricants could be irresistible. And, don't underestimate the power of shaking up your routine. The shower is just one variation on the bed that can heat up your standard repertoire. Consider the spare room, kitchen, or den, too.


*Give the gift of oral sex*

This generous act will be mutually gratifying when you see your spouse drift off to sleep with a smile or start his/her day relaxed.


*Strip down for bed*

No need for frilly nightwear, which many people find too over the top. You may be more comfortable in subtle, cozy cotton than itchy lace. Sometimes sexy is simple. On the other hand, if dressing up turns you or your partner on, by all means go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


*Go to bed at the same time*

Opportunity is key to keeping sex alive in your marriage. If one of you is more of a night owl than the other, that person can always go back to her television, book, or computer after you've made love. And whatever you do, don't turn on the TV!


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Feel free to add your own!


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Something that has worked for me: "Wear her favorite cologne". For us, that is "essence of the grill", i.e. charcoal smoke, hickory, mesquite... REALLY gets her in the mood sometimes...


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Something that has worked for me: "Wear her favorite cologne". For us, that is "essence of the grill", i.e. charcoal smoke, hickory, mesquite... REALLY gets her in the mood sometimes...


:lol: 


Nothing says "eat me" more than the essence of the grill! :rofl:


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## RunFromYourWife (Feb 14, 2013)

Start each day with _at least_ an embrace or hug, followed by a brief gaze in the eye and kiss. It will keep both people thinking about each other throughout the day and make coming home to each other later anticipated and longed for...


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

RunFromYourWife said:


> Start each day with _at least_ an embrace or hug, followed by a brief gaze in the eye and kiss. It will keep both people thinking about each other throughout the day and make coming home to each other later anticipated and longed for...


This may not be feasible in all situations, but a morning quicky after the kids have left for school but we haven't left for work. It doesn't happen often as either of us would like, but it definitely puts us in the mood for more later that evening.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

*1.* Try a new position >> Endless sex positions Sex Positions Guide

*2*. Sex Games.... ever stroll into a Spencers store in the Mall -lots of inspiration there >> Get sexy at Spencer

 Discover Your Lover Adult Board Game  ....  XXXopoly - Adult Board Games: 

*3.* How about some new Sex Furniture >> Liberator Bedroom Adventure Gear .. can also try a Sex Swing

*4. *Try some new Toys - can read reviews on Adam & Eve

*5*. If you rent Porn Online....good chance they will have most of these titles for new ideas to spice up your marital bedroom, Fantasy videos, Tantric sex, Kuma Sutra, etc... 

Loving Sex Instructional DVDs for Couples

*6*. How about planning a Romantic Vacation destination







.. Lingerie/ add photo shoots of your own/ Do a Boudoir photography session.... Why Boudoir Photography is Hot

*7. *Revisit an old "make out" destination... Do something daring -just don't get caught !

*8.* Add Erotic Message

*9*. Buy a couple new Sex books, read together / Play together >>>

 Ride 'Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets For Better Bucking 

The Naughty Bucket List: 369 Sexy Dares To Do Before You Die: 

 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex 

*10*. 20 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life 



> 1. *Pretend you just met him*
> "When our sex life started to slow down, I started thinking about how another woman would see my husband if she just met him -- and this made me want to impress him. I did things like buying new lingerie, getting up just a little earlier than usual to join him in the shower or making time to play later in the tub. We totally rediscovered each other's sexiness after that."
> 
> 2. *Tease each other*
> ...


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

1. Role play can be a lot of fun. 

Pretend you are the delivery person, bringing home some yummy take out. Your partner doesn't have the money for the food, but favors later will take care of that bill.

One of you could play the part of the gardener. Unfortunately this gardener doesn't speak much of your native language, guess you will have to show them what you want and what to do.

2. There are a lot of bedroom games for couples, like these Games - A Place For Passion or you can make up new rules for any of the standard games, scrabble, yahtzee, poker, monopoly and such. Advancements in these games will lead to favors or items of clothing removed, or both.

3. Sexting or naughty emails during the day to build up to the moment later on.

4. Dancing-either a private dance or some slow and close dancing with some stroking and caressing possibly involved.

5. Sex toys- my favorite online store is Welcome to A Place For Passion!

6. Read erotica to your partner, a romance novel would work or there are books of stories like these from penthouse and such Books & Magazines - A Place For Passion

7. Massage-one for helping your partner to relax or a sensual massage full of exploration and excitation

8. Feed your partner- there is a lot of food that can be fun, tasty and sensual

9. Candle light is flattering and use of a scented candle can help to set the mood as well

10. Take a trip down memory lane, share your favorite romantic or spicy memories with your partner

11. Attend a seminar or a class to learn new tips and techniques

12. Temperature play- metal or glass toys are great tools for use in temperature play Eco-Friendly » Glass - A Place For Passion or you could use ice cubes 

13. Masturbate- for each other or with each other

14. Show and tell- great for opening up the lines of communication and expanding your partners knowledge of your body

15. White t-shirt- climb in the shower with your partner with a white t-shirt on, the water will quickly make it see-thru and the texture of the wet fabric can add to the play

16. Take a bath or shower together, spend extra time exploring your partners body as you slowly caress them til they are clean

17. Wear sexy lingerie under your outfit and when out in public, give them just a little hint, auditory or visual, about what you have underneath

18. Lingering looks and long caresses- as you pass each other, either in public or while at home, let your gaze linger a while, as you pass them in the kitchen or hallway, let your fingers glide across their body as you slowly pass by

19. Cuddle under a blanket as you watch a movie and let your handle wander and explore, you may have to finish the movie later or have a lot of fun creating some intense anticipation

20. Go super slow, every touch, every look, every movement, slow it down, when you are going as slow as you think is possible, try to go a little slower

21. Bondage, from a blindfold and a couple of silk ties wrapped lightly around the wrists to chains, handcuffs and yards of silk rope, there is a wide range here for exploration

22. Tantra chair- this can assist a couple in performing some very advance positions, such as the wheelbarrow

The ideas are truly only limited by your imagination. Keep the ideas coming.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I was thinking about tieing myself to the bed naked, I bought these Velcro restraints years ago, what about tieing myself up and letting my wife come to bed, at this point I don't care what she thinks and the most she can do is leave me laying there. Also she has talked about buying a rabbit vibe, the thrusting in and out kind. I believe from what I have looked at the rabbit that the end twirls and rubs the g spot would be better, any input there?


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Have sex.


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## conflictedhubby (Apr 3, 2013)

We've been married 12 years and are very secure in our relationship...which is mostly great, but at times can lead to a little bit of monotony.

So...we use that feeling of security to our advantage and participate in e some kinky monogamy.

We love telling each other our fantasies...even about people we know...while we're having sex. It's a pretty hot turn on.

And we sometimes go far out of our town and go to a bar or a club together...and my wife, who looks fantastic after having kids and over 40 now, will dress extremely provactively...to the point of wearing things she normally would never wear. 

We'll go to opposite sides of the bar and I'll watch her from afar and the attention she gets from guys. She'll even get drinks bought for her from time to time...but the whole whilie she feels safe knowing I'm right there.

It makes for some mind blowing sex later...


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

yall have to work too damn hard. all I have to do is listen and be nice and I'm gettin some.

aint as easy as it sounds!


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

southern wife said:


> :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Does it for me everytime.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> *1.* Try a new position >> Endless sex positions Sex Positions Guide
> 
> *2*. Sex Games.... ever stroll into a Spencers store in the Mall -lots of inspiration there >> Get sexy at Spencer
> 
> ...


I few weeks ago I was working in my home corner office on a big conference call where I was presenting to upper management. We have french doors connecting my office to our bedroom. My wife taps on the door ... in the nude. And starts dancing for me. Shaking her size Ds at me and laughing. She was totally into it. And while I was very tempted to bail from the call and take her right then and there I acknowledged her efforts and continued my presentation. Yes she knew the criticallity of my presentation and knew I was a captive audience.

Anyway. Yeah flashing is awesome. Oh and indeed she knows how to be a Cowgirl.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

One thing that has worked for me is to draw a warm bubble bath for my wife and light some scented candles. I have a inflatable pillow for her head and let her relax and read while I get a dinner together. while waiting for things to cook I come in and wash her all over. She loves when I take the time to wash her hair. 

I let her soak and read her book till I have dinner together on the floor near the woodstove. 

I then help her out of the tub and dry her off. I put her robe in the dryer for about 10 min to get it nice and warm for her to put on after she is dried off. The we go in and have dinner in front of the fire. As we eat I tell her all the kinky things I have been thinking of doing with her all afternoon and couldn't wait to get her alone.

I tell her all tonight I cant wait because she is my dessert ! It always works!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I would say give her a great foot massage...and let your hands roam up her calves and intentionally tease her firm inner thighs...tease...and tease some more. She will want more. Then give her more.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Nice list Southern!
i really like them.

To add to your overall list, I think if the best way to spice things up is to first work on the foundation of intimacy in your relationship.
Simple things like hugging your wife when she awakes and staring into her eyes does a lot, at least it does for me.
I am glad to have her in my life.
This morning on the bed she snuggled very close, as I spooned her. She told me that my body feels nice against hers, and I start tickling her. She starts to wiggle and we have a pillow fight.

It didn't lead to sex, but it did give us some time to speak intimately to each other afterwards...
I _know_ the sex would come later, this is the sort of
" foundation / connection " I speak of.
Having it makes the woman feel more secure , and she would be open and responsive during sex.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

I leave my wife thinking about something different every morning


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

I actually learned this from my DW, she told me about how she began shaving her pubic hair. One of her ex BF walked in naked while she was showering one day, turned her around and began shaving her pubic hair. And they fool around after that.
So I get her hot in the bed one night, and as she take off her panty, I take out the razor and began shaving her pubic hair. I told her to wash after I finished, and that I will eat her out. She had 5 orgasms that night, 2 from oral, and 3 while riding me cowgirl.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stevehowefan (Apr 3, 2013)

I love to have my skin grazed ever so gently by my wife's fingertips, particularly my back and stomach.


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## Caribvistors (Jan 13, 2013)

Happyquest

You laid out the scene perfectly as it is often done in our home.

The bubble bath with the candles and special washing attention from me really gets my wife into the "mood". I also dry her off with heated towels when she steps out of the tub and then rub in loation while massaging her feet.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I am going to order a we vibe 3 for my wife as recommended, I will surprise her with that.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

edbopc said:


> I am going to order a we vibe 3 for my wife as recommended, I will surprise her with that.


She's going to love it!


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I am torn between the we vibe 3 and a jopen vr12,,,,any suggestions?


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