# She doesnt know what she wants & I am hurting bad



## InstantNoodles (Sep 28, 2009)

She kissed another man, now she is confused about her feelings for me. I moved out two weeks ago, and she asked me not to come back until she figures herself out. She has also told me she doesn't know if she just loves me or is in love with me. She is also still talking with this other man, since they have been family friends their entire life.

I have been told to 100% cut off contact and live out my life, perhaps she will realize shes making a mistake and come back. We have a counseling meeting on Tuesday, so I think breaking off all contact with her is not right, however I feel her talking to this man a week later on facebook when she knew id see it kind of shows where she is at.

I have also been told to just give her her space, let her be the one to make contact, and for me to just focus on me and be healthy. If I push, she will pull and that wont help. This method sounds a bit harder to swallow, because I feel like a puppet in this.

:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:


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## endymion (Oct 1, 2009)

It's the really frustrating part, isn't it? You try to be the best husband you can, and you end up getting screwed over. And then when you're trying to work it out, tearing your hair out, flipping between depression, anger and confusion, your W doesn't even seem to notice. Or care. Like a switch has been flipped in her head.

I know the puppet feeling - it's awful. Like you're waiting for someone else to decide what the rest of your life is going to be like, and you have no input whatsoever. You just have to sit and wait for her to decide your fate. It's the most powerless feeling, but probably unavoidable if you want to have a chance of reconciliation, I guess.

But you're right, pushing won't help. So get your life as on track as possible so that you can keep going, with or without her. 

That way you'll be feeling better, and hopefully she'll see that when you meet again. That's my hope in my situation, anyway. And if it doesn't work out that way, you'll be more confident to move forward into your new life.

Good luck.


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## Inturmoil (Sep 22, 2009)

Endy......you couldn't have said it any better. That is my situation as well. It is so hard but if you still love her and want to have any chance of reconciliation it's the road you have to travel. Just concentrate on yourself. I pray things work out for you


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## InstantNoodles (Sep 28, 2009)

Well, this is the latest with me.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...-having-emotional-affair-me-too-its-over.html


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## Waiting Patiently (Aug 31, 2009)

IN- I would cut off your friend and focus on your marriage. The other woman is likely an illusion right now. Your wife and you would never have been together so long unless there was love and compatibility there. Give your relationship a chance. Then, you will never have any regrets- just my two cents


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