# Anxiety and Depression



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Does anyone else here suffer from these things? I need to get into therapy here again soon, I feel that I am slowly destroying my life and everyone around me with the constant ups and downs (I'm really starting to think that I am bi polar) I am riddled with constant negative thoughts and to be honest, I'm having a hard time dealing with me, I can only imagine how irritating I am to others in my life.

Anyways, what would you folks who suffer from these ailments say is the most helpful medications? I know I need help, I need to do it for myself and the ones I love. I don't want to end up alone because of this.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Does anyone else here suffer from these things?


Pretty much my entire life.



ScaredandUnsure said:


> I feel that I am slowly destroying my life and everyone around me with the constant ups and downs


There are a couple of things that can help you in this area. One is learning to apply appropriate boundaries. You have to learn to set physical and emotionally boundaries with others and with yourself. Learning to let go of how others react to you is an amazing freedom. It will stop you from continually cycling between extreme ups and downs. 

The other part is acceptance. This was a huge part for me. I had to learn to accept me for who I was at that moment; but not forsake personal progress. This is kind of complicated because there are parts that I completely accept and parts that I accept in the moment with the intention of improving on. I have completely accepted that I am never going to like life. Accepting that has created so much freedom for me. 

There's also acceptance of some forms of emotional torment. Sometimes there is nothing you can do but allow yourself to feel the pain. And let yourself know everything is going to be OK. No one can take that pain away from you. 



ScaredandUnsure said:


> I am riddled with constant negative thoughts


Me too. Constant negativity. My H said to me the other day, "you're constantly stressed." Very true. Earkhart Tolle would say that stress and anxiety are simply resistance to the Now, resistance to what is. Resistance to the Now and to what IS, are forms of insanity because you can never cope with what you've imagined in your mind; you can only cope with what is. A simple way to know if your resisting the Now is to ask yourself, "what is wrong with this moment? not five minutes from now, not tomorrow or yesterday, but what is wrong with this very moment?" Usually there's nothing wrong. There's nothing to solve in that moment. Whatever you've been trying to solve exists only in your mind. Essentially you're trying to fight something and find solutions to things that don't exist and you're oblivious to the Now. But I'm still working on that one. I've had an extremely negative week.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Wow, thank you for the response! How do you go about setting boundaries? I guess what I'm asking is, what types of boundaries? I know I need some. 

And that last part really nails it. Nothing is wrong now, there was nothing wrong 5 minutes ago, nor was there anything wrong 5 months ago. How strange, I've never thought about it like that.


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## fightingfor love (Jan 30, 2012)

i have suffered from anxiety all my life but the last 3 years have been horrible......i finally got help and i am on lexapro.....it has been a godsend for me.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

That last part was an eye-opener for me too! I've been trying to live in the now as Tolle suggests. When i'm having a panic attack or severe anxiety attack it really helps me to repeat those questions to myself. I hope to one day stop reacting to what my mind is saying and be able to live in the now all the time. 

The way I think of boundaries is developing the ability to recognize a need, recognize how you are trying to meet your need, and accepting the ways you can meet your need without creating guilt, resentment, or anger. Here are some resources to accomplish healthy boundaries:

Amazon.com: Boundaries in Marriage (9780310221517): Henry Cloud, John Townsend: Books (if you're married)

Amazon.com: Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life (9780310585909): Henry Cloud, John Townsend: Books

http://www.amazon.com/Heart-Soul-Em...=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328229514&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Gui...1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328229541&sr=1-1-spell 
I have the audio and listen to it on my way to work

About The Work :: The Work of Byron Katie

Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self

It took me about five years to go through all of these. I just started Katie Byron's The Work. I'd recommend you get workbooks for Cloud and Townsend's boundary books. They are religious books and I'm not a religious person but their advice was nonetheless extremely helpful.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I have depression and ptsd. I don't like meds so I've gone down another path. It took 3 rounds of therapy to heal my depression. Yes I finally learned how to control my negative thoughts which is how I beat depression.

The ptsd is down to it being a stress disorder as I've learned how to either avoid or manage most triggers. I have to take SUPREME care of myself to continue to beat depression and the triggers. Diet, exercise and rest are key in addition to therapy.

For a while I took a lot of supplements that really seemed to help. The book that got me started was called Depression Free Naturally. I highly recommend it.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Mavash. said:


> I have to take SUPREME care of myself to continue to beat depression and the triggers. Diet, exercise and rest are key in addition to therapy


:iagree: I forgot about these really important things. It's so important to also get some sunshine. 

And I forgot to mention another book called Feeling Good by David Burns. I didnt read the whole thing, just the first few chapters where he talks about cognitive distortions and how to counter them.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Thanks again so much for the replies, I will check out those books  As weird as it sounds, it's nice to know I'm not the only one in the world who is like this. Not that I'd wish it on anyone, but it's nice not to be a "freak".


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Blanca said:


> :iagree: I forgot about these really important things. It's so important to also get some sunshine.
> 
> And I forgot to mention another book called Feeling Good by David Burns. I didnt read the whole thing, just the first few chapters where he talks about cognitive distortions and how to counter them.


Sunshine is FABULOUS for depression. Today was a sunny 66 degree day and I've been so happy.

I love that book Feeling Good. It's a good one too.

If I don't eat well my mood tanks and the depression comes back. Stinks because I have to really be careful what I put in my body but the payoffs are worth it.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Mavash. said:


> Sunshine is FABULOUS for depression. Today was a sunny 66 degree day and I've been so happy.
> 
> I love that book Feeling Good. It's a good one too.
> 
> If I don't eat well my mood tanks and the depression comes back. Stinks because I have to really be careful what I put in my body but the payoffs are worth it.


I'm so happy when i'm in the sun, too! sometimes i think i have seasonal affective disorder (SAD). 

I have a horrible craving for junk food, especially at night. i also work really hard to eat right as my mood goes south once i start eating junk. The working out part is soooo important. I need to start doing that again.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Blanca said:


> I'm so happy when i'm in the sun, too! sometimes i think i have seasonal affective disorder (SAD).
> 
> I have a horrible craving for junk food, especially at night. i also work really hard to eat right as my mood goes south once i start eating junk. The working out part is soooo important. I need to start doing that again.


I just bought a house with a pool so I'm going to LIVE outside this summer.

Also started working out again a month ago and I can tell a HUGE difference in how I feel.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Mavash. said:


> I just bought a house with a pool so I'm going to LIVE outside this summer.
> 
> Also started working out again a month ago and I can tell a HUGE difference in how I feel.


A pool ~ LUCKY! I've always wanted a pool. I used to love going for a run and then jumping in the pool afterwards. 

I'm trying to get back into running. I do feel better after i run but it's hard to remember that at the end of the day!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Blanca said:


> I'm trying to get back into running. I do feel better after i run but it's hard to remember that at the end of the day!


I have to FORCE myself to work out. At the moment it's not all that fun but I know I have to so I do it. Sigh. I know at one point it will become addictive and I won't miss a work out for anything.

I'm not there yet.


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## mgperkow (Mar 8, 2012)

I've been diagnosed with both. Medication has changed my life, in both good and bad ways. On the one hand, my mood problems and anxiety are ten times better. On the other hand, my libido isn't half of what it used to be. I supposed it's all a question of what you can live with, either way, but for the time being, I'm still taking my medication.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ZacThomas (Mar 5, 2012)

Anxiety is the horrible thing in this life. I suffered this during the time of my divorce .As my divorce was not so easy but as my life became stable I overcome from this situation. I am sure you will overcome from this soon.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

mgperkow said:


> I've been diagnosed with both. Medication has changed my life, in both good and bad ways. On the one hand, my mood problems and anxiety are ten times better. On the other hand, my libido isn't half of what it used to be. I supposed it's all a question of what you can live with, either way, but for the time being, I'm still taking my medication.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think the good will outweigh the bad (mood/anxiety vs libido) I've taken several SSRI's and never had a problem with my libido, so hopefully it would stay as is (and even lowering it some wouldn't be awful) I did well on Lexapro, and really thinking I need to go back to that. Thanks for your post


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

ZacThomas said:


> Anxiety is the horrible thing in this life. I suffered this during the time of my divorce .As my divorce was not so easy but as my life became stable I overcome from this situation. I am sure you will overcome from this soon.


Anxiety is evil, I hate it so much. Couple that in with depression and I don't know what to do half the time lol. Even in an amicable divorce, it's hard and stressful and there is a lot of pain there. I'm really starting to think I am Bi Polar, I have a LOT of the markers for it. Unfortunately the therapist I went to never really helped, all he wanted to do is talk and do homework, which would of been fine, had he discussed more of what I was dealing with. Anyways, thanks for your post, I'm glad to hear that things are becoming more stable.


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Like Mavash, I also have PTSD. It caused me to be immature about my anger, and I would fly off the handle about the dumbest things. Contributed heavily to communication problems between my wife and I, she didn't tell me how much my attitude and behavior were bothering her until the point where she was ready to leave me. Then found out she had seen an ex boyfriend while she was away visiting family, did not sleep with him, but lied to me about it.

That sent me spiraling out of control a year ago, massive depression and anxiety, I remember standing in my basement about 2 months after everything came out, looking out the window to the backyard, and everything looked foreign to me. It was like I was on another world, yah, everything was the same but suddenly it wasn't right, I can't even fully describe the feeling. I was so lost. 1st marriage counselor did way more harm than good. 2nd counselor really helped, but just as we are getting things better, job issues have popped up, and then the counselor had conflict issues with his military contract and could not work with us anymore. We haven't gone to another one since (2 months now).

Individual counseling hasn't done much for me, I'm on Celexa but I don't know how much good that is doing. I'm no where near as bad as I was a year ago, the depression isn't as noticeable but now I have job issues (job may end August 15th), and the anxiety is making things very difficult. Now I'm dealing with fatigue also, not sure if that is a symptom of the use of Celexa or if it is related to the now long term stress. 

So yah, anxiety, depression, just awful. I wish I could stabilize my job situation so I could find out if this is related more to that or if it is still mostly my relationship with my wife. I still think it is more about her and I than about my job, but the job situation doesn't really help.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

I was finally diagnosed with cyclothymia bi-polar disorder after 22 years of suffering and some tragic losses, and I'm getting checked out for high functioning Aspergers disorder. Nobody here feels more alienated in everyday life than I do.

Before meds I had a few suicide attempts and battled with a few addictions. I do take a mood stabilizer to keep me from feeling down, but they only take the highs and lows to a lesser degree. I still have a hard time leaving the house and functioning in public.... people and loud noises freak me out! Had to drop out of college when it got to be too much.

I'm generally a happy person now and well knowledged on multiple topics..... oddly enough relationship counselling, body language, and TONS more..... but I'm pretty reserved, still have some years of therapy and possible help with dissability until I can better function in public.

I know I'm weird but I like who I am!


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Po, I was on Celexa for a while and it messed me up! I would take it in the morning as directed and want to go back to bed. After a month of fatigue and depression I had to seek help for sucidal feelings.... it made me feel worse! Back on Lamotrigine now and I'm much better.


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Nsweet said:


> Po, I was on Celexa for a while and it messed me up! I would take it in the morning as directed and want to go back to bed. After a month of fatigue and depression I had to seek help for sucidal feelings.... it made me feel worse! Back on Lamotrigine now and I'm much better.


That is interesting... I may try and find something different. I hate having to take meds but I am so lost sometimes.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Nsweet said:


> I know I'm weird but I like who I am!


Halos? I used to think everyone saw them until I told a nurse about them when I was 15 or 16.


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