# Strange feeling



## hurtingsodeeply (Nov 8, 2011)

Hello all.. Beena while since ive been here. But have been working hard at therapy. Some may remember my story others may not.. So here it is in brief. Met my wife online in 2002, married months later, had our son in 2005 and daughter in 2006. Intimate relationship stopped soon after she gpot pregnant. After daughter was born, she came out and told me an uncle sexually abused her when she was younger. I fought for her since then, but she wont actively pursue therapy. I did all I could but could no longer stand to sit by and be ignored, surppressed what ever... I did everything I could to pleae her, lost myself in the process. we seperated in May 2011 after a huge battle, I moved out in Oct 2011, and have begun to draw up divoprce papers. Here is my dilemma,, thru all this I have a very good friend who is my confident, and my souding board. But to back it up, i work with her.... yes it is a woman( i have been accused of an emotional affair) .. But she saved my life literaly!! One nite after we finished work for the day, everyone else had left.. I stayed behind... was at the end of my rope.. ready to end it all right there... She drove by the store 4 hours later and saw I was still there. she took the time to stop and check. But the doors were locked as was my office... She became worried and spent 40 mins banging on my office window until i finally relented and opened the doors... If she hadnt done that I wouldnt be here tonite. ANyways.. she is always there. Listening and helping me. But lately I have begun to feel something unusual. Something I hadnt felt ever in my life. I am comfortable being around her. She is very strong, determined and passionate in her life. But I have begun to feel deeper things then friendship. I have even took two weeks off work to see if it was infactuation or something more.. that only made me feel stronger.. I guess my question is.. Is this normal?? It isnt gratitude or anything like that.. Something so differentthen I ever felt before. I am going to explore with my therapist, and go on from there.. But would like others input please


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## CantBeJustMe (Jan 27, 2012)

Looks like you want someone to justify your feelings you have for this woman.

I can do that. Or I can be honest. You are in no state to be entering another relationship. You're still an emotional wreck from your marriage. 

Concentrate on getting better, feeling better for YOURSELF.

Someone new just lets you focus on them and NOT yourself. If she's a friend, she'll still be there.

Happiness is YOUR job, no one elses. Putting that burden on someone else is staggering and simply unrealistic.

Your first focus should be YOU. Your next focus should be your kids.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

If my car had a few bumps and scratches I wouldn't take it to the scrap yard and get a brand new car. I'd get it fixed. Much less hassle in the end. I'd also work on being a better driver.


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## hurtingsodeeply (Nov 8, 2011)

Thank yo for the replies. I am not looking to justify my feelings. Trying to figure out if after many years of being suprressed and thinking what I thought was love for my soon to be ex wife.. If this because it is so different then what Ive ever felt before....

MSP... yes there have been bumps in my marriage.. I haver tried to fix it.. She wont.. She sees nothing wrong.. But I hit a bump and fell off the cliff.. If I cant love wholey, truly and with out reservation, and not have it returned.. Then I need to look out for me.. First and foremost..


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