# EX challenging consent for kids to see counselor



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

So back when my EX left the kids and I, it wasn't long until I started having them go see a counselor/play therapist. So when I told her what I was doing, she was fine with it. I wanted to be proactive before things were noticeably bad and then we send the kids to a counselor doing damage control.
She even went to a counseling session or two with us when she was in town (which is rare). So in December I get the tab for the last several months that were not paid from the counselor office. Turned out i ran out of health funds and now had to pay out of pocket. My EX and I will need to split that 50/50. She didn't like it one bit. And hasn't paid yet.(It'll be a month since she was notified in about a week from now).
And I find out in late January that she depleted my funds the previous year 1 month before she was set to be taken off our family insurance when she split. So she knows she's gonna have to pay if the kids ever need to go for any kind of medical.
So now she wants to have a serious discussion about the kids seeing the counselor. She doesn't see why the kids can't just come to us if they have an issue. That the counselors is a waste of money. Part of me thinks she is doing this because she feels she's not getting her $$ worth, and/or doesn't like shelling out money period. 
She's stating in the decree with it being joint that I need her consent to have the kids get counseling services after months of her being fine with it. So how will this work if her and I don't agree.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

What does it matter? Do you really think she's going to pay half? 

I'm no divorce expert but if you can't come to an agreement like everything else it goes before the judge and he decides. At least that's the way it works here.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Sounds like you need to get this kind of stuff in writing beforehand, especially since you two don't seem to coparent very well. 

Does 50/50 need to be agreed to in advance by both parties before you do something? And if so, does it need to be written down? 

She probably doesn't want to pay. That makes sense if she doesn't have money. You might need to talk to an attorney on this one. You already know this but this is not a woman who puts the concerns of the children before her own. She is, as you put it, "a selfish mother". 

So you need to keep in mind that if you do something without her written consent then you might have to pay for it yourself. 

My husband has flat out told me he can't afford to pay for our kids so I've had to pay out a LOT of money just feed, clothe and take care of them in spite of this. I'm hoping that will change once we get our divorce agreement in writing but there's no guarantee it will. Deadbeat parents have become the norm all too often these days. So that puts the ball squarely in the court of the parent who cares the most. 

So if the kids need counseling are you willing to shell out? Is it that important? If so, you might have to pay it out now and proceed with caution in the future.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

The 50/50 for medical payment is in the decree. She has to pay if there is a bill. So this is why her only way out is to either:
1. Convince me they don't need counseling.
2. Since we are joint in regards to many of the decisions for the kids and it states we need each others' consent, she's hoping she can block me.

I'm wondering what happens when she doesn't give consent. I'm guessing it goes to a judge (which my EX would lose because the counselors say the kids need it/ their mom left and abandoned the family (she thinks skype twice a week and summer/holiday visitation is good enough).
So I plan to call her bluff. I'm wondering how bad this would look in the eyes of a court with her suggesting this. Tempting, but I don't want to shell out tons of $$ either.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Seems like a lot of grief on both ends, and thats the last thing anyone especially the kids need. Continued strife and drama.. Perhaps let things settle down some, and if the kids show a need for counseling, then you will be at a better position financially to address it. I am simply assuming that you had them go to counseling as a preemptive effort. 
The less contention you have the better you and those kids are going to be. You cant force her mom to be involved, and thats going to be a major loss later in her life. Rest assured anything you do for those children financially is going to be far more rewarding than anything else you had planned for it.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Call her bluff. Odds are the counseling sessions will cost less than or as much as it will for her to drag you to court ... where she will lose anyway.

Maybe point that out to her.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Shooboomafoo said:


> Seems like a lot of grief on both ends, and thats the last thing anyone especially the kids need. Continued strife and drama.. Perhaps let things settle down some, and if the kids show a need for counseling, then you will be at a better position financially to address it. I am simply assuming that you had them go to counseling as a preemptive effort.
> The less contention you have the better you and those kids are going to be. You cant force her mom to be involved, and thats going to be a major loss later in her life. Rest assured anything you do for those children financially is going to be far more rewarding than anything else you had planned for it.


My personal opinion is if you have to go to court, then do so with the purpose of removing as much as you can of her power over such things. In Canada we have section 7 expenses which look after the extras like high level sports and out of pocket medical expenses. One of our children had a medical issue which required a lot of travel plus we purchase extra health plans through work for 50 a month for prescription drugs, dentist, braces etc. Negotiating with him was a bloody nightmare as he is a control freak. He voluntarily removed the kids off his plan to save 25 a month (family price 50 - single price 25) and if kids made a team it was always last minute before we were told if he was paying or not or would bounce a cheque to me. I figured out an average cost per year and had it written in to the child support agreement that he pay me an extra 80 a month towards these expenses. It just saved countless trips to court etc. Is there any way you can figure something like that out to remove the conflict? I believe kids don't need conflict but the solution isn't to bow down to her, it's to break her power and control.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

As I sit and prepare myself mentally and emotionally to engage in discussions with my STBXH about child support why do I feel this overwhelming feeling of panic and dread as I read all this... :slap:


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> As I sit and prepare myself mentally and emotionally to engage in discussions with my STBXH about child support why do I feel this overwhelming feeling of panic and dread as I read all this... :slap:


Honest to God those negotiations were far more distressing than the divorce. My ex was a total control freak who took it out on finances and child support when he lost physical control over me. It's been 12 years and I still think he's crap.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Well, my STBXH is a total d!ck when it comes to money. Yesterday I was at work and asked him to take my son over to the orthodontist because a bracket on my son's braces had come loose and was bothering him. The FIRST words out of my STBXH's mouth were "Is it going to cost anything for me to bring him there?" :slap:

I felt like saying "On second thought, never mind, just let the boy suffer."

Instead I said "If it does, just let me know and I'll take care of it." 

He's now constantly pleading poverty, even while he makes his $500/mo payments on his boat. 

And then there's the visitation. He wants 50/50. Ok, sounds good. He wants to make visitation "flexible"..whenever we or our son feels like it. I want it to be scheduled so I can know what to expect. 

He wants to come up with a fixed, average amount for my son's food/living expenses and says that I should pay him when my son is with him and he'll pay me when he's with me. 

So how do you determine just how much he's going to eat in a given week? :scratchhead: Then we are going to trade off what we pay each other? That all sounds rather confusing. 

I don't think that's going to work. I do NOT want to be in a position to have to ask my husband for money every time my son goes to visit his father. That puts me in a bad position and could create conflict. 

So MY idea is that we EACH pay for whatever food/expenses that are incurred when our son is with us and we split expenses like medical expenses/insurance, clothes, orthodontist, allowance, etc. 

I'm hoping now that my STBXH is sober and in AA he CAN take my son 50% of the time. I guess we'll have to wait and see. It's all very confusing, especially since there aren't any lawyers involved and it's all on us.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> Well, my STBXH is a total d!ck when it comes to money. Yesterday I was at work and asked him to take my son over to the orthodontist because a bracket on my son's braces had come loose and was bothering him. The FIRST words out of my STBXH's mouth were "Is it going to cost anything for me to bring him there?" :slap:
> 
> I felt like saying "On second thought, never mind, just let the boy suffer."
> 
> ...



My ex wanted to buy our son a used can (jock protector) for hockey. A more fair way to do it is figure out what you would pay for child support if you paid your ex and he do the same. The amount over is given as child support to the lower earner. I personally hate the 50/50 split as the child never has a home base.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

golfergirl said:


> A more fair way to do it is figure out what you would pay for child support if you paid your ex and he do the same. The amount over is given as child support to the lower earner. I personally hate the 50/50 split as the child never has a home base.


Well, because my husband is an alcoholic and has basically lived off his inheritance and now says it's all gone. That would make HIM the lower earner and I'm not giving him a dime, especially when our son is living with me and I'm paying for EVERYTHING right now. He keeps bringing up how he spent all this money on all of us the past two years but right now it's ALL on me. 

He wants 50/50 and I'm willing to give it to him. We live 3 miles apart and I can use a break. My son is a real handful at times. But this bit where it's every other day or even week is too confusing. I think we should just split the month apart. He mentioned doing it and I'll go for it provided my son can be in a stable environment. Unfortunately, I have some serious doubts about that.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> Well, because my husband is an alcoholic and has basically lived off his inheritance and now says it's all gone. That would make HIM the lower earner and I'm not giving him a dime, especially when our son is living with me and I'm paying for EVERYTHING right now. He keeps bringing up how he spent all this money on all of us the past two years but right now it's ALL on me.
> 
> He wants 50/50 and I'm willing to give it to him. We live 3 miles apart and I can use a break. My son is a real handful at times. But this bit where it's every other day or even week is too confusing. I think we should just split the month apart. He mentioned doing it and I'll go for it provided my son can be in a stable environment. Unfortunately, I have some serious doubts about that.


Don't take his word about his money. Ever here the saying that those who represent themselves have a fool for a client? If everything is present up front, then by all means avoid lawyers, but taking him at his word? Nope don't do it. I will go read your back story!
Oh my ex kept telling my kids he overpaid me child support. Well finally I opened it up again and he had been underpaying me big time. He owed an extra $285 a month support plus $7000 back pay. Don't expect the truth from them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

It really helps to know what the judge would defer to, when two parties cannot agree or come to an agreement. The family law codes in TX are found on the state website, and they let me know what standard procedure was. This includes obligations of both parties, and considerations in terms of kids. 
It helped the efforts tremendously, to come to a mutual parenting plan and divorce agreement. 
Your stbx is not going to be able to lie about finances. A financial statement will be required by the courts to determine child and spousal support, if such cannot be decided between you.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

golfergirl said:


> Don't take his word about his money. Ever here the saying that those who represent themselves have a fool for a client?


No, they are just poor. 



> If everything is present up front, then by all means avoid lawyers, but taking him at his word? Nope don't do it.


I don't trust anything my H tells me, believe me on that. This is a man who lies constantly. But this isn't about the truth..it's about what I can get in a legal, binding agreement from him when it comes to child support. This isn't about empty promises. He knows I'll come after him if he doesn't honor his agreement..or at least he should know. 

This isn't about revenge or anger or anything, except getting support for my son. If we can sit down and set up a mutual agreement then it's the best way. I basically want him to pay half. It's pretty simple. I want it _in writing_ that he will pay half of everything.

As for visitation, one problem with 50/50 is that my son has informed me that he doesn't WANT to spend half the time at his father's place. He wants to choose on his own when he wants to spend time there. He's 15 and I certainly won't force him to be someplace he doesn't want to be. That's a complication as well. 

Guess we'll have to try and hash it out. Money has always been a real problem between me and my STBXH. On my divorce complaint I've put my in demands that I have full custody and he pay me support. I wrote that when he was till a raving drunk lunatic. Now he's sober and saw that on the complaint and doesn't like that AT ALL but he'll have to ante up or he can contest the complaint and then the judge will decide. 

His choice.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Shooboomafoo said:


> It helped the efforts tremendously, to come to a mutual parenting plan and divorce agreement.
> Your stbx is not going to be able to lie about finances. A financial statement will be required by the courts to determine child and spousal support, if such cannot be decided between you.


Ball is in his court. We can come to a mutual parenting plan. Or we can go to court. Up to him.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

What you can be certain of is that you can come to an agreement that you can both be happy with, or leave it up to the courts in which case its likely neither of you will be happy with the agreement.

The courts don't want that job, so they generally assure that neither party gets everything they want.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Update:
My EX sends me a message stating that she's not trying to take the kids from me, etc.,etc.
Despite our conversation to the contrary, she chatted with the kids last night and at one point asked my son if I was in the same room. He said yes. She asked if I or my son could go to another room so they can speak in private. I said I would leave and went to the next room. Well, the chat was loud enough for me to hear my son the other room. I couldn't hear my Ex's question, but my son responded "We can't live up there. Daddy is not letting us". My EX also said that daddy thinks she is trying to take them from him and that she's not.
So my EX is still bringing this up with the kids. It sucks because I never told my son "no". I told him and my daughter that they will remain here because family is here and the decree also states it. Plus, daddy and mommy will always discuss it between each other and will not drag them into the middle. I guess my son (6yrs old) was just telling her what he interpreted. Still, it concerns me that she's still brining it up.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Your ex wife is a real turd doing that to her kid. 

It's just criminal to be doing that, messing with your kid's heads. 

I'm sorry, but if I'd heard that I would've come into the room and taken the phone and said "It's time to end this conversation" and hung up the phone. What's she going to do? Rant and rave. Well, let her. She can't afford to do anything. You need to protect your kids from these sort of mind games she's doing. You need to take control of the situation and stop letting your Ex pull this crap.

Next time, don't leave the room.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

So ... your ex doesn't want you in the room while she is talking to your six year old for fear that you are controlling and manipulative. She wants to isolate the child or you to leave so that she can in turn, be controlling and manipulative ...

Don't grant that request again. Be nothing but pleasant and supportive of your child. If 'mommy' suggests that they go to another room. Smile and tell your child it's fine they can talk right where they are, and go on about your business in their presence.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Deejo said:


> So ... your ex doesn't want you in the room while she is talking to your six year old for fear that you are controlling and manipulative. She wants to isolate the child or you to leave so that she can in turn, be controlling and manipulative ...
> 
> Don't grant that request again. Be nothing but pleasant and supportive of your child. If 'mommy' suggests that they go to another room. Smile and tell your child it's fine they can talk right where they are, and go on about your business in their presence.


Dammit. You're right. And I've been working on my Beta/Alpha traits. That was definitely a Beta move on my part. Was being too careful not cause an argument in front of my son i guess. 
Thanks for the obvious advice. And how should I respond to her regarding visitation? The decree is pretty clear. I have primary. Kids see mommy in summer and most holidays. I don't want her keeping this visitation open-ended with my young kids that she would love to have them live with her the majority of the time, etc.
I explained to the kids early on that they live with me during the school year and with mommy during the summer. Pretty simple, black and white, right?
My 6 year old son craves structure and gets stressed if there isn't. Mommy entertaining his idea/fantasy of living up with mom, while daddy told him something else months ago, is causing him to ask many questions to her.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

She can't change her mind about where the kids live on a whim. Too late. My ex also would make my daughter leave the room and when I told her to stay it cause her a lot of stress because she didn't know which parent she was supposed to listen to - kids are taught to listen to BOTH parents, right? 

Finally I let her use the phone in another room to avoid the upset it was causing and started recording the conversations and listening later. That was when I caught him saying "You remember our plan, right?" and "I know you're listening, you b*tch!" while on the phone with our daughter.

Fortunately law says that I own the phone line and have the right to record conversations and even though my daughter didn't know it was being recorded, NC law allows that, as her guardian, I was able to give consent on her behalf.

Besides, that last comment showed he KNEW I was recording  so any argument that he didn't know went out the window! (But not illegal here anyway in this situation regardless.)

So then ex bought her a cell phone. Ah well, at some point I had to let go. Now he's limited to 3 calls a week of 15 minutes duration each, concluding before 9pm. I got her the next cell phone so I have the phone records to track and prove whether or not he complies.

Most courts want to keep the young children out of the middle. I would suggest you write her a polite email asking her to not discuss the children's living arrangements with them, that it puts undue burden on them by making them feel the need to choose sides and kids that feel they have to choose loose no matter who or what they choose. They always feel they have betrayed the other parent and carry a great deal of guilt.

If she wishes to discuss any arrangements not already agreed upon, she needs to do it with you and the two of you need to be in agreement before presenting to the kids, which you can do via speakerphone so it's done together.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

As primary care-giver, you have complete control over how much access via phone, your ex has to your young children.

The advice around here is pretty straightforward.
Your primary job is to protect your children.
Stop worrying about what is right for her or how your response will impact them.

Trust and follow your gut. If you sense she is talking inappropriately with the child, smile and take the phone from your child. Make it clear to her that if she wants to discuss visitation or custody, she does that with you and not the child.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Ok. So here's what I sent. Maybe a little too long. But I wanted to get the message through to her. And yes, I used much advice of what was offered here. Thanks EnjoliW & Deejo. 

*****,
It seems the issue of visitation that has come up recently has been going in circles since the kids have returned after the holidays. There's nothing wrong with the kids asking questions and us listening and providing answers. However, I think it needs to be crystal clear that when either of our kids bring up the question about where they will be living that we respond to what is states in the decree. The kids live with daddy during the school year, and that they live with mommy during the summer. 

Responding with an open-ended response that it's an option to live in ********* puts undue burden on them by making them feel the need to choose sides and kids that feel they have to choose lose no matter who or what they choose. They always feel they have betrayed the other parent and carry a great deal of guilt.

If you wish to discuss any arrangements not already agreed upon, you needs to discuss it with me and the two of us need to be in an agreement before presenting to our kids, which we can do together via video chat.

Finally, it was inappropriate that you asked ****** if I could leave the room so the two of you can chat privately. I will no longer remove myself from the same room with the kids during a chat, even if it's requested by you. It sends the wrong message to the kids that its ok to hide things/conversations from the other parent.

That was my message to her.
Ugh. Yeah, probably a little too emotional and I probably didn't need to explain why she should be handling this differently. That's been the hardest part, not biting my lip and instead try to get her to understand why the things she does can be harmful to the kids' emotional well-being.
But it could have been a lot worse if I responded the night it happened. I had a long angry email that I was seconds from sending and deleted at the last moment. Emotions sure can screw things up.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I know where you are at Houstondad. Trust me.

The advice I dispense is based primarily on what worked very well for me, and notably what didn't work well at all.

I understand that you want her to 'get it'. What you need to 'get' or clearly internalize, is that you can't make that happen. You can use precise, clear words in conversation, or pen a perfectly articulate letter ... you have no control on how she receives, processes, accepts, or rejects the information. 

All you can do ... is what YOU need to do, by your choice, or as a result of her actions or crossing your boundaries.

Stop letting your ex-wife frame your emotional state. Your children will directly react and respond to where you are at emotionally. You are their compass. Stay true north. Guide yourself, and thereby you will guide them.

The stronger you become, the safer they will feel. And your ex, although she may initially test you with an emotional storm, will eventually blow herself out upon the rock of your steadfastness. 

No more email to this woman.

Start acting more. Talking less. Sometimes the most effective communication is what you DO rather than what you SAY.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Thanks Deejo. I need to do a better job of catching my emotions building up before I say or do anything in response to her.I can't allow myself to be caught up in her hamster-like drama. 
And I need to work on my frame with her. To be firmer with boundaries that are crystal clear to her, the kids and I. And to not budge on it. That's a win-win for the kids and I. 
I like the symbol of the compass. That really hit me and you're right.
Actions do speak louder than words. I'm actually in the process of putting that into practice(after being a Beta in my marriage) and what's going to be just as important is being particularly consistent. I fudged on it when I allowed her to ask our son to request I leave the room and I did, pretending it didn't bother me. At first, I thought to myself"Hell, no. I'm staying right here." But then the old "Mr. Nice Guy" reared his ugly head and said "don't cause a problem with mommy in front of your son by saying no". 
Consistency. It's key.
Thanks D.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Ugh. Ok. So I know it's been reccomended not to respond to the EX as much as possible. But I also want to be careful I am an unccoperative co-parent. So right now we have an issue with my son expressing a desire to go to school living with mom (he's 6yrs old) and I tell him the black and white answer: you live with daddy during school, mommy in summer. But I think my EX is leading him on thinking it's possible to live with her during the school year.
So here was my recent exchange:
Me:
I think it's a good idea that you, the kids and I have another discussion on visitation and living arrangements together via video chat. I've made it clear with the kids what those arrnagements are, the reasons behind it, and the importance that only mommy and daddy make those decisions.
Apparently, there is still some confusion and the kids need to know from both of us what those arrangements are. We could do it on the tail end on one of the kids' counseling sessions with their counselor. I will talk with their counselor to see if that's possible and I'll get back to you on when we can do this.

Her response:
What is the confusion exactly? Could you explain what the kids are saying? I am wondering if they are saying things to you that they haven't to me.

I feel like she's playing dumb. The kids don't continue asking me because they know daddy's answer. But they keep asking mommy. I get the sense she doesn't have it in her to tell the kids what it states in the decree and is trying to keep this as an open possibility. Or possibly trying to garner support somehow so she
can somehow convince a judge that since her kids miss her that they can now live with her. Passive Aggressive?
Do I respond? If so, how?


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Well you certainly don't want to tell them they are asking to live with her. You could just reiterate that they seem to think it's up for discussion and it's not. I think your email is very clear that you want her to be on the same page. What the kids do or don't say is really irrelevant to your request.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Stop enabling her. 

Are you divorced?

Do you full custody?

Do they live with you?

Ok. Stop engaging with her at all.

Stop trying to be nice, take the highroad and have consensus.

She does not respect you , your opinions or boundaries.

She did abandon her children so she could run off to be with a total and complete looser.

She takes every olive branch you hold out, and pokes you in the eye.

The only response to questions of living arrangements is that it has been decided. It is not changeable. And to her and only her, it is what it us because she chose to be selfish, cheat, and abandon her family. All of this is her and you won't waste any more time indulging her selfish ways.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Shaggy said:


> Stop enabling her.
> 
> Are you divorced?
> 
> ...


:iagree: :iagree: Enough with the emails to your Ex. You've explained it to your kids. Now just protect them and stop obsessing with this. You're making it worse, not better by giving your Ex so much of the attention that she obviously craves.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

I spoke with the kids' counselor and she thinks it's a good idea to have the chat with both parents, kids and the counselor. I just sent my EX an email stating this and in the form as an invite.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

And I won't send anymore emails. I was just trying to do the right thing for my kids and felt it was more effective if my ex was there to say it too with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

So you're the one who thinks they should go, but thinks she should pay. Makes sense to me.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Shaggy said:


> Stop enabling her.
> 
> Are you divorced?
> 
> ...


HoustonDad,

I'm just catching up with this - after a brief hiatus.

C'mon.

You had this not so long ago.

Get it back.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Drover- You're being sarcastic, right?
Look, I know you guys are saying stop talking to her. But I can't alienate the other parent when it comes to issues with the kids. If she has been feeding the kids ideas about living there, I need to put a stop to it for the kids' sake.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Houstondad said:


> Drover- You're being sarcastic, right?
> Look, I know you guys are saying stop talking to her. But I can't alienate the other parent when it comes to issues with the kids. If she has been feeding the kids ideas about living there, I need to put a stop to it for the kids' sake.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm not saying that.

What I am asking is why on earth you started giving her the benefit of the doubt again?

I mean, for God's sake, what has she done to deserve that?


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

*Re: Re: EX challenging consent for kids to see counselor*



Houstondad said:


> Drover- You're being sarcastic, right?
> Look, I know you guys are saying stop talking to her. But I can't alienate the other parent when it comes to issues with the kids. If she has been feeding the kids ideas about living there, I need to put a stop to it for the kids' sake.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not really. You're doing this as preventive maintenance, just in case they have issues with your breakup? People divorce all the time w/o counselors. Counseling is expensive. I could easily see her not wanting to pay for it. If you do feel it's necessary, there are sliding scale options. Talk to Krist Samaritan Center in Houston.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Houstondad said:


> Drover- You're being sarcastic, right?
> Look, I know you guys are saying stop talking to her. But I can't alienate the other parent when it comes to issues with the kids. If she has been feeding the kids ideas about living there, I need to put a stop to it for the kids' sake.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Monitor there skype chats. If she starts that crap turn it off.

She is undermining you and you are taking the bait. You are being played like a cheap fiddle.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Never stop bring up the fact she abandoned her kids. I doubt you had to agree to let them leave the state in the first place. She is using incrementalism to chip away at you. You have the orders, do not give an inch.

If hse wanted to be a co parent she would not be living in another state. She just wants you completely out of the picture now.


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