# Rescuing the mood after this



## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Has this happened to any of you at any time in your marriage. 

So here I am doing my best enjoying giving my DH a BJ, while resting from his own good effort. Both hot and well on the way to something more. He is n his back and I am astride his chest facing south and disengaged behind as I an taking a rest but busy with him. I got covers over me as it is cold and the heating is off. Then suddenly I am sort of fumigated out after he lets one off. I come out of covers fast and when I confront him he says he was trying to relax to avoid me getting a mouthful so he accidentally let one off. 

I was brought up to go to the toilet when in need of a fart. He sort of just does it then asks to be excused. Sometimes he leans over and forces it out when it seems not urgent at all. I can't cope with it at all. I fund it rude and offensive. 

Now the mood was dead, what next? Although he apologised a few times over, I was no longer in the mood. Still did it for his sake, but it was just for his sake. I took offence. Was not first time. I feel he should go to the toilet.
What is the solution?


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## 241happyhour (Jan 31, 2011)

Give him a shot of his own medicine next time he is down on you. Then just say “sorry.”


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

241happyhour said:


> Give him a shot of his own medicine next time he is down on you. Then just say “sorry.”



I don’t think that’s good enough. She should go all the way and just sh1t all over him next time she is sitting facing south...
I got nothing. That’s something I have never done: fart in front of my wife. Or anybody. Only in toilet and even then, when I know nobody is around within at least a mile radius...
My wife thinks I’m secretly making diamonds inside. But I also find it incredibly rude (if done deliberately).


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

HX was a proud gas man. Although I never found myself in your particular situation, he disgusted me. I can understand an oopsie from time to time...we all have them but my god...have some common courtesy 🤮 


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

When someone farts and you can smell it, you are actually inhaling little particles of someone else’s  
Inhaling someone else’s  is basically eating it. And eating  is not very nice! (Unless you live in Germany, then its Sperrgebiet und wunderbarrrr!).


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

I think you need to explain to him clearly how offensive you find it, and why you find it offensive - he seems to think it's no big deal.

Tell him that the way you were raised means that only happens in the bathroom.

That it makes you feel like he doesn't mind being rude to you.

Totally inconsiderate of your feelings.

That you find it extremely unattractive and aren't sexually attracted to him when he does that.

That for you it's a BIG DEAL and he really needs to tend to his personal matters better. That you are conscious to be clean, smelling nice, and make sure not to pass gas in front of him, and that you expect that he make the same effort.

Tit for tat never works, but communication often does.


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## NJ2 (Mar 22, 2017)

I'm afraid the mood would be killed but mostly because of my laughter

Idk it never gets old -and I guess I can be immature about these things


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

NJ2 said:


> I'm afraid the mood would be killed but mostly because of my laughter
> 
> Idk it never gets old -and I guess I can be immature about these things


Likewise.

In cases of intimacy then yes, it's not the best mood enhancer. And if done deliberately then it is very inconsiderate.

Saying that, I had an ex give me a BJ and I was struggling to maintain a balance between holding one in, and the climax that was building. It really is quite difficult.

Ended up ripping as I was blowing... 

p.s. she thought it was funny


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

I understand the occasional “oops”, but the *first* time a man just lets ‘er rip *deliberately* in front of me, and ESPECIALLY while I’m pleasuring him in the most intimate way, with my nose just inches from his butt hole... I can assure you - that is the *LAST* time he would find me in his bed. Under the covers is even MORE disgusting...

(Just puked a little in my mouth...)

IMHO, this is divorce-worthy. Cannot express how absolutely gross this is.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.
> 
> I understand the occasional “oops”, but the *first* time a man just lets ‘er rip *deliberately* in front of me, and ESPECIALLY while I’m pleasuring him in the most intimate way, with my nose just inches from his butt hole... I can assure you - that is the *LAST* time he would find me in his bed. Under the covers is even MORE disgusting...
> 
> ...


Haven't seen you around in a while HAAC 

I think divorce papers might be a bit extreme for the offense though.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

This man and woman were getting intimate in bed and she suggested some 69. He didn’t know what this meant so she explained. 
He was busy getting down to business when she let one go,she immediately apologized and he reluctantly resumed operations. She was so relaxed that she let another one go and the guy got out of bed and told her if she thought he was having 67 more of them she was crazy.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I got nothing. 

I did laugh quite a bit. Thanks for that!

Unless he continues this way it should die down. Accidents happen.

He likely won't care about anything you say except the part about it makes him less attractive to you. That should take root.

W and I raised two boys and during their older pre-adolescent ages and teenage days before girls were in the picture there were a lot of fart jokes in our house.

A night after chili for supper all the candles in the living room had to stay lit.

And when one of the boys started laughing for no reason and got up we knew it wasn't the dog. &#55357;&#56846;&#55357;&#56846;&#55357;&#56846;

Our two poor dogs probably got blamed for three times their own toots. 

But, there is a time and place. Good manners prevail.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:rofl:

Would you rather ejaculation issues instead? 

I still remember once I actually had gas in the middle of lovemaking. But I was holding it in and trying to cum at the same time so we could finish and I can finally excuse myself to let off a fart, but omg the cramps and pain! So I couldn't and eventually after 2 hours she gave up feeling inadequate, and I went to the bathroom to unleash one of the biggest farts in my life!


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

OP, if this is something you dislike intensely, you need to make sure your husband clearly understands. Do that by making your words and your actions agree. He killed the mood for you. Instead of finishing the BJ, you should have just stopped and told him the fun was over for the night. If you fuss about him farting on you, but continue the BJ anyway, you are basically telling him that you really don't mind all that much. I imagine that, in his mind, if it was really that serious to you, you wouldn't have continued with sex. 

When he farts, explain to him (calmly) that doing that is so gross to you that it makes you not want to have sex with him. Whether that's in the living room or during intimacy. And, if he ever does it during intimacy again, simply tell him you're grossed out and no longer in the mood and then get up and go do something else. You can't make him not fart on you during BJs. But you can control whether or not having your partner fart in your face is something you continue to apparently reward with an orgasm.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

This is but one of the many things which can put a damper on sexual festivities.

Here's the thing. The mood need not always be rescued. Sometimes it's just time to move on to something else and wait for next time. 

I'm sure doing that here would itself be an incentive to prevent the same mood wrecker from happening in the future.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

I still uncertain whether this was an accident or on purpose.

If it's accidental, well women have farted accidentally while I've been going down on them. They've felt terrible and I passed it off as no big thing (not that I enjoy smelling farts, I just don't want them to feel bad about something they have no control over). I've never returned the favor.

If it was on purpose, then that's inexcusable.


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## Steelman (Mar 5, 2018)

MaiChi said:


> Has this happened to any of you at any time in your marriage.
> 
> So here I am doing my best enjoying giving my DH a BJ, while resting from his own good effort. Both hot and well on the way to something more. He is n his back and I am astride his chest facing south and disengaged behind as I an taking a rest but busy with him. I got covers over me as it is cold and the heating is off. Then suddenly I am sort of fumigated out after he lets one off. I come out of covers fast and when I confront him he says he was trying to relax to avoid me getting a mouthful so he accidentally let one off.
> 
> ...


Really- there are people who only fart in the toilet. I'm amazed by this!


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

MaiChi said:


> Has this happened to any of you at any time in your marriage.
> 
> So here I am doing my best enjoying giving my DH a BJ, while resting from his own good effort. Both hot and well on the way to something more. He is n his back and I am astride his chest facing south and disengaged behind as I an taking a rest but busy with him. I got covers over me as it is cold and the heating is off. Then suddenly I am sort of fumigated out after he lets one off. I come out of covers fast and when I confront him he says he was trying to relax to avoid me getting a mouthful so he accidentally let one off.
> 
> ...


I really don't think you can rescue the mood after that. Game Over.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Sex an involve all sorts of unpleasant accidents. Best to laugh them off. If someone is intentionally doing something the other person finds offensive, that is completely different.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

MaiChi said:


> Has this happened to any of you at any time in your marriage. -snip-


I've been married to the same person for 31 years. MaiChi, if you can imagine it, it has happened to us. I'm not even going to get into a gross story contest, but pretty much everything posted here has happened and much much more. Hey we have kids and pets . . . Just for starters. As for the advice to divorce, Go ahead you will be doing him a favor. If you want to talk it out with him (assuming you didn't notice that he got the message) start by explaining why you were so surprised as women never fart. 

Wrap up. Farts happen. You can get bent, you can protest, you can divorce. But Farts and more will just keep happening.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Am I the only one who has never farted in front of their wife, ever? In 20 ish years it never happened.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Thank you all for making me feel I am not a freak for not tolerating this behaviour. Sometimes your wonder how others do it. I really do not cope very well with someone farting in other people's close presence. Toilets are easy to reach. Lovemaking can be interrupted politely and many occasions call for that, like when we used to use condoms, we would have to pause to put one on, (which was my job) and is not unpleasant. Farting grosses me out completely. 

Yes I have complained about it but when in the living room its still lean over and let go followed by "Excuse me." 

The event in mid session love making was not at all common but he knew it was imminent and could have easily interrupted us to go to the toilet. The mood would not have died the way it did. 

There was a bribe brought home the following day but that just gave me another opportunity to complain and tell him its better not to do it than to try to bribe me after doing it.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> Am I the only one who has never farted in front of their wife, ever? In 20 ish years it never happened.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yes  

No


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

inmyprime said:


> Am I the only one who has never farted in front of their wife, ever? In 20 ish years it never happened.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


OMG, an UXB! (UneXploded Bomb)

I think it must be be tense relationship if neither of you dare let the occasional fart out in each other's company (though definitely not during oral sex). 
If the farts are smelly and/or very frequent then you're are probably eating too much, especially junk food. some people also have the bad habit of eating too fast without chewing thoroughly.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Tell him to take some Beano or there will BE NO. 


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Whenever my wife farts or belches in my presence, I tell her "good one" and we both giggle.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

it really all boils down to if this was intentional or not. As other have said, it can happen to any of us by accident


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Statistically it will happen. Think about the odds, for all who have frequent, real steady sex.

Frequency and the couple's position is the guiding benchmark.

For those who say they've never, ever, farted with their SO in the same room, when not having sex but normal hang out time at home, in the car, mall, etc., I call bulls$!!.

It can be done in a crass manner, never the preferred way.

Especially if a good ltr or marriage, me 34 years come tomorrow, hey it happens by both dear W and I.

All have farted in their sleep. Don't doubt it.

All have farted when going to sleep. Don't doubt it.

The OP described circumstance is unusual, granted, and shouldn't be condoned as is extremely poor manners.

But not all circumstances are that close up and personal.

Time to get over it.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Accidents sometimes happen. But yeah, if your face is that close....no.

As for him leaning over in the living room to "force" one out when he knows how you feel - passive aggressive immaturity.

But the whole "must go to the toilet every time" thing is a bit OCD. I mean, my office is across the building from the bathroom. Am I supposed to run across the building.

One should try to use control and definitely say excuse me, but going into the bathroom every time....that's a little much.

Honestly, I'm surprised you enjoy giving BJ's if you are that uptight about being even in the same room with an occasional gas.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

OMG...I am in tears laughing so bad now. You girls are hilarious. As for me, yeah accidents happen, never during sex mind you. But geesh, its a normal function of human life here...As to running to the toilet? Just remember, that it will follow you BACK INTO BED afterwards. Sorry, it's the truth. But maybe if it's a constant thing, you need to see a doctor? Maybe he needs some Probiotics goin' on there.... He is making WAY to much methane than us "normal" peeps. lol

As for leaning over and gassing you on the couch? Thats just being an ass. Hell, I've done it before, but yeah...Everybody gets pissed! Funny thing though..When the wife does it. She will be asleep and let loose. hahaha. Hot boxing me from the REM cycle. 

Ultimately, I try to show restraint when it comes to the "backwards music". But I try not to dwell on it and show a little politness when it does come to visit. Awkward, but not life changing. And for heavens sake...NOT during sex. Thats just gross.


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## NJ2 (Mar 22, 2017)

Can't help
But keep coming back to this thread- it makes me gaffaw! I must be such a low brow humorist!
H and I have both let one go quietly while in bed and tried unsuccessfully to trap it under the covers.

Inevitably it escapes and after a lot of -how could you?!!- and- oh noooo you didn't!!! We end up laughing so hard we are in tears

Both my dd's are beautiful and their beaus have both complained about how they don't seem to be adequately embarrassed to pass gas in their presence- idk - my mom (when alive ) used to walk across the room with a band of horns tooting behind her - which would send her grandchildren into fits of stifled laughter- she'd then say - oooopsy, pardon me


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)




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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

BarbedFenceRider said:


> OMG...I am in tears laughing so bad now. You girls are hilarious. As for me, yeah accidents happen, never during sex mind you. But geesh, its a normal function of human life here...As to running to the toilet? Just remember, that it will follow you BACK INTO BED afterwards. Sorry, it's the truth. But maybe if it's a constant thing, you need to see a doctor? Maybe he needs some Probiotics goin' on there.... He is making WAY to much methane than us "normal" peeps. lol
> 
> As for leaning over and gassing you on the couch? Thats just being an ass. Hell, I've done it before, but yeah...Everybody gets pissed! Funny thing though..When the wife does it. She will be asleep and let loose. hahaha. Hot boxing me from the REM cycle.
> 
> Ultimately, I try to show restraint when it comes to the "backwards music". But I try not to dwell on it and show a little politness when it does come to visit. Awkward, but not life changing. And for heavens sake...NOT during sex. Thats just gross.



There are many normal bodily functions we all recognise as such. However we train our children to take charge of them from an early age. Potty training, for example is about controlling normal bodily functions. 

The idea is not to stop farting, but to take charge of it the same way as nobody wees while sitting on the sofa then says "Excuse me!" or "Its better out than in" 

Farting is actually good for you and should be encouraged, just like regular weeing and sitting on the toilet, but they are bodily functions which some of us were taught to carry out in the toilet and never in company. Is not to say the system is accident free. Just means when you do say "Excuse me" you actually mean it because one escaped rather than you let one off. Is ll I am saying. During a close activity is not a good time for farting.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

> What is the solution?


Sadly, you don't NEED a solution since you did *this*:


MaiChi said:


> Although he apologised a few times over, I was no longer in the mood. Still did it for his sake, but it was just for his sake. I took offence. Was not first time. I feel he should go to the toilet.



If you're going to go ahead and *continue* servicing him even after he acts like a pig (you said it ain't the first time he's done this) then you've already _chosen_ a solution. To allow him to disrespect you while you continue doing what you're doing.


I'd be real curious to see how many times he would pull that nonsense if you were to actually *STOP* what you were doing and be DONE once he did it. I'm willing to bet that'd be the last time he did it.


And that's what you should have done.


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## Pepe1970 (Aug 25, 2017)

You said "it was not the first time"
Since you didn't say anythinthe first time, I guess he doesn't think is a big deal.
So it is your fault he keeps doing it


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

I would get him a cork stopper and plug it in, next time before sex.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

inmyprime said:


> I would get him a cork stopper and plug it in, next time before sex.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I thought we all agreed he shouldn't be rewarded for his bad behavior :wink2:


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

perhaps this online tutorial will help with that cork idea


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I thought we all agreed he shouldn't be rewarded for his bad behavior :wink2:




True. Plus it might shoot someone’s eye out if you press on stomach by accident, health& safety first etc. It’s like living under Vesuvius.


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

Letting one fly can be a big mood killer. Many years ago I knew about a woman who went on a first date. Inadvertently she let one fly in the company of her new date.
There was never a second date.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

I read about it more and I am trying to encourage chewing food, hoping it reduces the possibility of tooting. Is this a viable plan. Also increased complaints about it. Forced him to listen to my point of view and I offered to put a put-me-up bed in the room used as an office (computers, printers, filing cabinet and all that) Told him I strongly object to the behaviour. Got more bribery flowers and more apologies. Just waiting to see if the actual behaviour will change.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

MaiChi said:


> I read about it more and I am trying to encourage chewing food, hoping it reduces the possibility of tooting. Is this a viable plan. Also increased complaints about it. Forced him to listen to my point of view and I offered to put a put-me-up bed in the room used as an office (computers, printers, filing cabinet and all that) Told him I strongly object to the behaviour. Got more bribery flowers and more apologies. Just waiting to see if the actual behaviour will change.


How fast does he eat? A problem I have being self-employed, is that I tend to steamroll through my meals during the day generally due to work constraints, as a result, the ol' digestive system can get a bit bloated.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Well I wasn’t really kidding about the Beano. Has he ever tried it?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*It is only natural to assume that one who is so very fortunate enough to have a spouse who will gladly and unselfishly engage them with oral sex ought to know better to control any of their aversive and repulsive bodily functions in their presence, whether or not the covers are pulled up over their heads! *


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

MaiChi said:


> I read about it more and I am trying to encourage chewing food, hoping it reduces the possibility of tooting. Is this a viable plan. Also increased complaints about it. Forced him to listen to my point of view and I offered to put a put-me-up bed in the room used as an office (computers, printers, filing cabinet and all that) Told him I strongly object to the behaviour. Got more bribery flowers and more apologies. Just waiting to see if the actual behaviour will change.



Communication is nearly always a good thing, so the conversation was doubtless needed. However, what you should say is - calmly and seriously - is "When you fart on me during sex, it makes me never want to have sex with you again. I won't continue having sex with you when you fart on me." That way, you're not just whining and fussing at him, but calmly stating a boundary. 

But, perhaps even more important than your words, is following up with actions. Next time he farts on you during sex, stop what you're doing and end the session right then. As I and others have pointed out to you, he's not going to take your complaints very seriously if you don't back them up with your actions. After a few times stopping sex completely for that evening/day/whatever in the instant after he farts in your face, he should begin to understand that you're serious about it being a turn off and about it being something you won't tolerate.


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## Violet28 (Oct 4, 2018)

Knowing nothing else about him and going solely off him farting on you while when your face is close to his @$$ makes him sound like a complete d#ck.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Was it accidental or on purpose? If it was on purpose that'd be the last time he'd be getting one from me. Eeeeew.

As for leaning over and letting one rip in the lounge room. Yuck. That's just gross. At least go outside.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

inmyprime said:


> When someone farts and you can smell it, you are actually inhaling little particles of someone else’s
> Inhaling someone else’s  is basically eating it.



I had to requote this, because this is absolutely true.




inmyprime said:


> Am I the only one who has never farted in front of their wife, ever? In 20 ish years it never happened.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



You're a gentleman. My husband has farted in front of me; but he is usually on his way to the bathroom; and he just says excuse me. I've been awoken from sleep by myself farting a couple of times. But I would never fart on purpose in front of my husband, or anyone else.




twoofus said:


> OMG, an UXB! (UneXploded Bomb)
> 
> I think it must be be tense relationship if neither of you dare let the occasional fart out in each other's company



An occasional lapse is normal and that's life. But typically, feeling like you have to release intestinal gas, usually means you need to have a BM. So, if possible, you should go to the toilet when you feel gas pressure in your rectum.


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