# Believe in the 7 Year Itch?



## marriedyoung (Dec 23, 2010)

I've been having a lot of marital issues just now, I won't get into it. I realised that although we've only been married two and a half years we're at almost exactly 7 years since we started dating.

So do you believe in the seven year itch? I'm wondering if this is a phase that will pass.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

I think I really do. Ours occurred at about 6 1/2 years of marriage, however, but we'd been together for 10 years. Where are you at in life? Kids? Jobs? I just think that the 7 year itch is a phase, where LIFE takes over and you neglect each other. How you deal with this challenge is what defines you. For many, it ends their marriages. We got past it, but now we're at another crossroad, and working through it. I think that a mended bond will be better than any bond we've ever had. At least I'm hopeful for that!


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## arbm (Jan 9, 2011)

I have not been married for 7 years in fact have only been together in total 5 years with my husband so i may not qualify to answer this but i will anyway...ask me again in 2 years and i may have a different answer :rofl:

But i think the 7 year itch is a mind over matter thing, do you think that if there was such a thing as the 2,5,10 or 15 itch that we would focus on it and maybe read into things that may not be as bigger deal as we think it is because there i a stero type name for it?

I think that every marriage is going to go thru rough patches at different times this is only natural i cant think of one marriage behind closed doors that is picture perfect...if we keep using the itch as excuse it is going to be a good reason to do things we may not normally do because we can blame it on the "7 year itch" do you think we wold fall for it if they said the 7th year is the BEST in all of the years???? i think not


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I'm approaching 7 years with my SO. I'm not so sure I believe in the 7 year itch per se...I think that can happen at any time during a relationship that isn't taken care of. You let too much "life" get in the way, you have problems. 
People change..and you can hope that as you change, grow and evolve, you and your partner remain on the same page. This is where the fundamentals come in to play. The "non-negotiables". You have the very basic things that you're on the same page about, you weather the storm on the rest.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I think it is called three Year Itch now. 

I have read an article, the first three years are infatuation stage, we are still infatuated with each other, the chemistry is still there. 

After the first three years, then our relationship evolve to love or boredom. Big test comes. Although my husband calls this BullSh*t. 

Now seems like 20 year is also a big test because a lot of couples are putting up with each other for the kids sake, they stay not because they love each other, they stay because they think it is better for the kids to have mom and dad around. After the kids grow up, they feel no need to stick around anymore. 

In Japan, now a lot of 60-year old women want to divorce their husbands, because they can't endure the life that their macho husbands are at home 24-7.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I had no itches till I hit mid life (19 yrs married at that time), then thankfully my husband was up for all the scratching I needed. 

Whatever it is you are dealing with, be open and communicate with each other honestly, try to stay away from the Silent Treamtment as much as possible, try your darnest to understand and meet each others "needs". 

If you find you do not share the same "Love Language" , it may require more effort on your part to fullfill your partner in what he or she desires from you. Very Doable, but it often takes 2 to keep the marraige happy & flowing as it should. 

Amazon.com: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (9780802473158): Gary Chapman: Books


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## doesntknoweverything (Jan 5, 2011)

I've been married almost 6 years. With the itch, it depends on your personality and what you need. I don't believe long lasting marriage should be your ultimate goal if you're consistently unhappy. It's just a social institution that comes with status, easy companionship, and perhaps some financial benefits, and it's nice if both people still want it, or if you have young children. But really, I think it's quality over quantity. If it's working, great! If it's not, you might be able to fix things, but maybe not. If you can live with the consequences of splitting up, then that's an option. Don't let religion or guilt get in the way. Have a clear mind and in time you'll know what to do. (speaking for myself here as well)


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I had no itches till I hit mid life (19 yrs married at that time), then thankfully my husband was up for all the scratching I needed.
> 
> Whatever it is you are dealing with, be open and communicate with each other honestly, try to stay away from the Silent Treamtment as much as possible, try your darnest to understand and meet each others "needs".
> 
> ...


Ding Ding Ding we have a winner!!!:smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I don't believe in an itch that follows a schedule, but I do believe that most relationships reach a point where both people get bored, feel neglected, hurt, angry, whatever, and it leaves the relationship open to temptation or they consider leaving. 

I think being aware of the fact that it can happen is a huge first step in preventing it or fixing it when it happens. If you know that this will happen, whether you believe at 7 yrs or just at any time, you will be more aware to watch for it, and try to stop it from happening, or to be able to say "hey, this is happening and we need to fix it."


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