# Hello..... need some advice



## 3Blessings (Jul 8, 2012)

Hi to everyone......i felt so rotten right now.My husband and i are been arguing a lot...He has this other business ( logging) that keep him gone everyday aside from the fact that we are farming. I am working part-time too. We just had a baby a month ago. Last night i got pissed at him....because i had a terrible headache after dinner so i told him that i'll just go upstairs and lay down with the baby ( i nurses) while he take cares of the two other kids ( ages 7 and 2). They were sent upstairs ( my boy has paint all over his body) went in the tub both of them.They like to play....( while they were in the tub he was on the phone with his foreman).. and he never tended to them until i went in there to get them out of the tub. So it pissed me. The other night i got pissed too ( easily pissed) because i was tired ( two nights had little sleep) it seemed to me he never volunteer to " like okay mom is tired how abt you kids get in bed.".....and kinda wind them down, but he was there downstairs already laying in the couch. I know he is always tired that he needed his rest... but i guess i need a break too. What i was hoping for is he tends to them, spend time with them like reading a book with them till they fall asleep, my daughter can be told and she will go to sleep. i am hoping he will do spend time with them two together. they both like being read to.
When i 'm pissed i tend to mutter or snap at him.... and he just give it back to me.........He said that i have a rotten attitude. I admit that.. but the fact that i get tired too. I have no help in the house, i worry abt the finances too , i worry ( well, now i'm gettign used to if i could not pay the bills..numb and wait). Although, lately we has good news hopefully into the right track for the farm. You see our farm income is so diminished, we barely cover the bills and then he has expenses on the other business ( he has foreman and another worker). Now he is pre-occupied with the breakdowns and wanting to get his saw done soon. i know that these happens... but it builds up like his being in the computer all the time and falling asleep in the couch. 

he said abt this rotten attitude...... he yells at me when i said things, or accuse him of well mostly of " to have time spend with us". i get tired of waiting for him, adjusting to him...
most of the time, well its a habit now, that his way of unwinding is okay spend time with the tv....and most time fall asleep in the couch.....he said no i go to bed.. every night i sleep in our bed so i guess i pretty know if he went to bed. yeah granted most of the he falls asleep on the couch.i like to unwind (well, hope to) with my husband by going to bed....you know like our old folks......kids in bed, now mom and dad in their bed too, talk a little bit maybe discuss the day , or something like decisions... we pretty much not like that...

some situation isnt it?... i wish things aint this hard or complicated that both of us could not compromise on some ground.

i prayed to God he'll enlighten us...thanks you for listening.

Em


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## Dewy (Aug 29, 2012)

you to need sometime without the kids to talk, go away for a week end together, alone


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Over worked, financially stressed, setting up and running 2 businesses, having to deal with staff, a month old child, 2 very young children and being completely tired out. Not supprised that your both on the edge. As stated above you need to be able to take out a couple of hours just to relax, a meal, no alchohol and take together about how your both going to share the load.


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## KellyK (Sep 4, 2012)

Do you have family that could come and help with the kids for a little while?


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## 3Blessings (Jul 8, 2012)

thank you guys for the response. its true that we are both overworked. Most of the time,we take it out on each other. I dont get any help from anybody except his dad who comes here once in awhile an say how we doin. I hated his mom. Not once after i had the baby did she come or call and ask if i need help or something....but she was always like this. (" because thats what i did ...i raised my kids all by myself", i can hear her say.)......I'm goin back to work in two weeks and all i can hear from her is what is your schedule, when are you goin back to work so that i can prepare........and she does this in front of other people.... in places where we are bound to be there together........when she live across the road from my house ( we farm by the way----- and i think she thinks that i should be doin more, like that comment she said to my daughter that its my duty to keep the house clean while i was pregnant), and that she can call me if she wants/need to.
I am not planning for her to watch my kids. 

I already give my schedule to her but...deep inside i am dreading or even afraid of the what may happen..........I am desperate...she's the available help........my mom or any of my family is in another country.........i usually comes home tired from work and she have the tendency to nag..........she's opinionated, stubborn like me.. and my question why?.........why, now?...why volunteer?......after treating me the way she did while i was pregnant or when my boy was a baby ( he's two now). 

May the good Lord help me.........May He lend me some advice and understanding.....


Em


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