# Don't know where to start, but happy to know I belong in the R forum.



## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

I have been posting on here for over a year. I have had my ups and downs like everyone on this site. I have been really skeptical of my marriage situation for far too long.
I have been going to IC for a long time. She mentioned IC for her self over months ago, but I don't know if she is going or if she ever went. She refused MC last time I asked so I stopped pushing for "yes". 
During the emotional and physical separation, I have had to deal with a glorious amount of rumors. I quit listening to them, they are rumors(as far as I can tell). I don't know quite how to tell her, but she should watch who she hangs around. Some of her "friends" are big drama machines. However, if some of them are real, I would need hard evidence to call a lawyer and would do so within seconds. I don't know all of what she has been dealing that led her to feel the ILYBINILWY, but that has seemed to pass. She did finally tell me on a trip that she is really scared to be physically intimate and has been for several years(main evidence for ignoring the gossip). The problem with that is it has been all or nothing ( I like kissing and that didn't happen). Further, she stopped almost all physical affection(this got better as our relationship has, but not like it was). As of the last 3 months I have been trying to initiate the big step into that realm. I don't want to be over-bearing, I want her to feel safe.
Parents being affectionate to each other around their kids seems to be a strange concept to her. I know and can see how her childhood led to this, but she seems to miss it. 
I would really like her to seek help for this for herself as much as for us. 
Other than what I have listed here, things are 100% better. However, the M-I-L(her mom) from Heck is still a big problem.


----------

