# If you have ever looked at AM or sites like that?



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Do you ever get the impression that the people on there think it is harmless fun and they won't get caught? I often think about how they do not realize the potential serious consequences of their actions? I remember when I was looking trying to find H's ad and I saw an ad for someone his age and it said I have a happy marriage but just need something fun on the side. Like holy smoke...it sounds so innocent I am sure to the guy writing it, but just imagine his spouse finding out.......

Hurt children, hurt spouses, emotional pain for years to come, crying, yelling, embarrassment, divorce, regret, possible financial ruin, etc. etc.

I don't get how you can say you have a happy marriage but yet are putting an ad on AM.

I have the feeling in my case because our marriage had started to become like room mates that he thought I would not be hurt by what he was doing and instead would be like fine I was not happy at times anyway so good luck to you, its been nice! I think he was honestly surprised at the depth of my pain.

I totally get being unhappy in a marriage but why people think cheating is going to make things better not sure.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Ahh A M you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I agree!

Yet are they not a growing business!


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

highwood said:


> I agree!
> 
> Yet are they not a growing business!




True but so are STD Rates across the board something many on AM don't think about while trolling for scum The harsh reality is that many will always find an excuse ether flimsy or exaggerated to use these sites you can't control someone's behavior but however you can control whether you want them to be in your life.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

xakulax said:


> Ahh A M you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy


We must be cautious.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

No, I stay away.

I am married and I made vows.

I stay away from AM and places like it.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

In fact, I have a profile there. Back in the early days after D-Day, my mind was racing, I was thinking, if she could do that to me with an old BF thousands of miles away, maybe she's doing stuff locally. I was super paranoid at the time, which was natural after D-Day. So I created a profile for the sole purpose of searching to see if she was on there. I didn't find anything. All it did was to trigger me even more, seeing all these profiles of people looking to cheat. I still need to get around to deleting the profile.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> In fact, I have a profile there. Back in the early days after D-Day, my mind was racing, I was thinking, if she could do that to me with an old BF thousands of miles away, maybe she's doing stuff locally. I was super paranoid at the time, which was natural after D-Day. So I created a profile for the sole purpose of searching to see if she was on there. I didn't find anything. All it did was to trigger me even more, seeing all these profiles of people looking to cheat. I still need to get around to deleting the profile.


Yes, I did that too as it is the only way you can go on and snoop around. Even without a picture or hardly no info..it is amazing all the emails and messages you get from guys all excited that a woman is online. It is such a bunch of BS on there too, guys writing about what they think turns a woman on but in most cases what they write does nothing. One guy wrote something about I love it when a woman is shivering with excitement while I kiss her all over and I am thinking yeah right buddy probably has never happened to you. Sorry sounds mean but please...give me a break!

I believe that you have to pay to delete the profile...at least that is my understanding. Kind of makes me wonder how many people like us threw a profile up just to catch their spouse


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

You know it would be really unfortunate if anonymous hacked that site and expose all those user accounts for the world to see that would be so unfortunate 



fingers crossed


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Like any good male I love my hormones. 

But here is something... when I was between marriages and always looking for some, ahem, wholesome female companionship, the thought of having sex with a married woman actually turned my stomach after what I had been through. Thinking of what she was doing and her trusting husband... True.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

highwood said:


> Do you ever get the impression that the people on there think it is harmless fun and they won't get caught? I often think about how they do not realize the potential serious consequences of their actions? I remember when I was looking trying to find H's ad and I saw an ad for someone his age and it said I have a happy marriage but just need something fun on the side. Like holy smoke...it sounds so innocent I am sure to the guy writing it, but just imagine his spouse finding out.......
> 
> Hurt children, hurt spouses, emotional pain for years to come, crying, yelling, embarrassment, divorce, regret, possible financial ruin, etc. etc.
> 
> ...


Never been on A M or any sites like that. When the original MMSL blog was on blogger or blogspot or whatever there were people who commented there and their ID would hyperlink to their own blogs which were linked to other blogs etc. Soon I was reading all about how A M worked and how to work it to score with lots of women. It was like watching a train wreck and a number of those blogs would suddenly disappear as DDay after DDay occurred. The other regulars in contact with the ex-bloggers via email would update each other on the other blogs as to how the ex-bloggers who were trying to reconcile after DDay were making out. Quite a few of them never expected to get caught and seem to never has considered the possibility, despite giving up a fair amount of personal and travel information and even photos.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

AM is trash and mostly fake. There are real sites that you have to be worried about. AM wouldn't be my first choice if I were a wife wondering about my husband the sites with acronyms e.c.c. eye dot e would be my first choice of worry. 

Second would be ba ck pa ge . com


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## Vaya Con Dios (Aug 20, 2012)

AM?


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

I would bet for every one family destoryed by infidelity, there are probably hundreds that never get caught, especially one night stands. Hell I would bet serial cheaters as well...its not that hard to hide it, especially for men who are only in it for the poon!

Were talking about a society where someone like Kim Kardashian can become a celebrity, is anyone surprised there are sites for infidelity?

I think alot of AM is bull dookie...probably fake accounts to attract more salivating men...women, even unatractive women, do NOT have to go on line to meet men or hook up...she can walk down a grocery isle and make obscene gestures to men in MUCH higher sex ranking and very soon hook up...women are sitting on a gold mine and dont need the internet to find prospectors


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> In fact, I have a profile there. Back in the early days after D-Day, my mind was racing, I was thinking, if she could do that to me with an old BF thousands of miles away, maybe she's doing stuff locally. I was super paranoid at the time, which was natural after D-Day. So I created a profile for the sole purpose of searching to see if she was on there. I didn't find anything. All it did was to trigger me even more, seeing all these profiles of people looking to cheat. I still need to get around to deleting the profile.


Ditto I had several profiles I set up right after dday just to see if she was on there, I also set up a couple as a woman looking for any OM I knew about, I found one profile toyed with the idea of making contact and stringing him along until I could meet up with him for a little retribution decided it wasn't worth it besides being premeditated HAHA.

I will say there were so many people looking to cheat or trolling for married people it is sickening, one for all the married people who are cowards and want their cake, the other for so many scumbags looking to get involved with a married person cause it is an easy lay.

Really wouldn't mind eliminating the pieces of sh1t who design and run that crap and the participants of those sites lowest form of human beings next to murders, rapist and pedophiles.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

highwood said:


> Do you ever get the impression that the people on there think it is harmless fun and they won't get caught?


I'm fairly certain that people who use affair sites do not think they will get caught, otherwise they would tell their spouse they are subscribed to one.


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## SoVeryLost (May 14, 2012)

There are also a number of men on the site who yes, are married, but whose wives have given them a "hall pass" of sorts. I work with a woman whose husband is on AM, and she not only knows about it, but is the one who encouraged him to sign up for it. After their second child was born sex became very painful for her. She claims they discussed it, want to remain married, but both acknowledged he had physical needs as a human being. She felt the odds of an emotional connection forming with a married woman would be substantially lower than if he were to find satiation with a single woman. Does she concern herself that her husband's involvement with a married woman may potentially be destroying another marriage? No. She always says if someone is on there looking to cheat, then if it weren't with her husband it would be with some other guy. Interesting how people can compartmentalize. What's even more interesting is that her husband is a prominent attorney in our area. Just seems a late night ONS in a nearby city might be the safer route to go if that's what they've chosen to do, but hey....they didn't ask me.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

SVL-I think the ones with a "hall pass" are in the minority. most people on those sites have spouses who are clueless as to their shenanigans.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

highwood said:


> Do you ever get the impression that the people on there think it is harmless fun and they won't get caught? I often think about how they do not realize the potential serious consequences of their actions? I remember when I was looking trying to find H's ad and I saw an ad for someone his age and it said I have a happy marriage but just need something fun on the side. Like holy smoke...it sounds so innocent I am sure to the guy writing it, but just imagine his spouse finding out.......
> 
> Hurt children, hurt spouses, emotional pain for years to come, crying, yelling, embarrassment, divorce, regret, possible financial ruin, etc. etc.
> 
> ...


People are just so stupid.. as if the happily married thing is something to show off on a cheating site, look at me, I'm in a successful marriage! It should read "I'm bored, looking for a tramp with no morals like myself to have sex with"

We should come up with some other ads that fall along this thought process..

"I'm a great dog lover, and great dog owner, looking for someone to help me kick my dog.. anyone interested?"


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

SoVeryLost said:


> There are also a number of men on the site who yes, are married, but whose wives have given them a "hall pass" of sorts. I work with a woman whose husband is on AM, and she not only knows about it, but is the one who encouraged him to sign up for it. After their second child was born sex became very painful for her. She claims they discussed it, want to remain married, but both acknowledged he had physical needs as a human being. She felt the odds of an emotional connection forming with a married woman would be substantially lower than if he were to find satiation with a single woman. Does she concern herself that her husband's involvement with a married woman may potentially be destroying another marriage? No. She always says if someone is on there looking to cheat, then if it weren't with her husband it would be with some other guy. Interesting how people can compartmentalize. What's even more interesting is that her husband is a prominent attorney in our area. Just seems a late night ONS in a nearby city might be the safer route to go if that's what they've chosen to do, but hey....they didn't ask me.


Let's just forget about morals and decency, as I have told my kids more times than I can remember I don't care what goes on in other peoples homes I am only interested in what goes on under my roof and that we hold ourselves to a standard.
That and her husband could fall in love with anyone married or unmarried then what. Idiocy pure idiocy my neck hurts from shaking my head side to side.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

SoVeryLost said:


> There are also a number of men on the site who yes, are married, but whose wives have given them a "hall pass" of sorts. I work with a woman whose husband is on AM, and she not only knows about it, but is the one who *encouraged him to sign up for it*. After their second child was born sex became very painful for her. She claims they discussed it, want to remain married, but both acknowledged he had physical needs as a human being. She felt the odds of an emotional connection forming with a married woman would be substantially lower than if he were to find satiation with a single woman. Does she concern herself that her husband's involvement with a married woman may potentially be destroying another marriage? No. She always says if someone is on there looking to cheat, then if it weren't with her husband it would be with some other guy. Interesting how people can compartmentalize. What's even more interesting is that her husband is a prominent attorney in our area. Just seems a late night ONS in a nearby city might be the safer route to go if that's what they've chosen to do, but hey....they didn't ask me.


I say she's cheating on him, and it clears her guilt by letting him cheat too.. He should put a VAR under her seat. Sex is painful with him, I bet it's not as painful with her boyfriend. She's probably not using AM, but with an old flame or co-worker or the guy next door...


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

love=pain said:


> Let's just forget about morals and decency, as I have told my kids more times than I can remember I don't care what goes on in other peoples homes I am only interested in what goes on under my roof and that we hold ourselves to a standard.
> That and her husband could fall in love with anyone married or unmarried then what. Idiocy pure idiocy my neck hurts from shaking my head side to side.


She doesn't care what her husband does, because she's concerned more about her boyfriend. If she cared, she'd use her hand, her mouth.. she'd find a way to not have it hurt so bad. The fog is deep and thick...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Or maybe she isn't cheating at all and she just let's her husband have a "hall pass."


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Or maybe she isn't cheating at all and she just let's her husband have a "hall pass."


If I had to take bets, I'd go with my theory.. but it's entirely possible. I still say he should just dump her, why stay with someone that would let you sleep with a married person and destroy families. She's an idiot in either scenario. By saying 'it's okay for you to cheat, and cheat with someone that's married', you're saying 'it's okay for me or anyone to cheat, i'm cool with it'... so if she's not cheating yet, she will probably be at some point. She has it all set up nicely either way..


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Their marriage, their choice as to how to conduct it. Plus the husband isn't on here asking for advice. SVL was just offering a different POV. Just saying. 

I have heard of those types of arrangements before. Wouldn't be into it but to each their own as long as the parties agree.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I checked it out....you guys do realize that the site is about 99.9% bots designed to leech money from men right?


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

There's also the fact that she is probably very used to her lifestyle and not wanting to give it up. He is a prominent attorney, so therefor probably makes lots of money and when she gets divorced he will definitely have the upper hand when it comes to laws and representation, so she may just be living with it to be able to maintain her current standard of living?


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Their marriage, their choice as to how to conduct it. Plus the husband isn't on here asking for advice. SVL was just offering a different POV. Just saying.
> 
> I have heard of those types of arrangements before. Wouldn't be into it but to each their own as long as the parties agree.


An arrangement to have your hubby hook up with married ladies, to keep your marriage safe.. Husband isn't on here, so he won't get the advice, no worries there.. I understand it was a different POV, and I highly doubt the majority of folks on sites like AM are operating on hall passes.. I would suggest that is the exception and rare scenario. So I was countering that POV, showing that not only is it rare, but it's also often bull and the spouse is cheating that's why the one way hall pass.. 

I'd also be willing to bet that a bunch of folks on that site claiming to have hall passes, are full of it.. I also wanted to add in that I think the lady is an idiot if the story is true. I think her solution to her problem is a horrible one. I should add that for her husband to take her up on it, in that scenario is equally detestable. His wife is in pain, so he goes to another woman for pleasure? What a dbag.. I dislike them both already.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

sinnister said:


> I checked it out....you guys do realize that the site is about 99.9% bots designed to leech money from men right?


How so?

They do cheat with mostly women (well, the hetero population who uses them, I assume). So one half is aimed at women...



russell28 said:


> I'd also be willing to bet that a bunch of folks on that site claiming to have hall passes, are full of it.. .


I think a lot of people probably don't claim a "hall pass" for their reason as to why they are on AM. The purpose is to be discreet (usually). Their tagline is:

AM "is the world's leading married dating service for discreet encounters."


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> How so?
> 
> They do cheat with mostly women (well, the hetero population who uses them, I assume). So one half is aimed at women...


I have seen the figures posted somewhere and also referred to on television shows like Maury, Nate B, etc, that 1/6 is an actual person created profile and the rest are as was stated bot profiles created just to drive up profits. As I understand it (I have been to the site, but am not a member so this is what I gathered from just clicking around the site), that in order to respond to connections and request pics and other correspondence, interactions, etc, one must purchase credits or a paid membership. It is by having attractive profiles that more profits are made from people "hoping" to get lucky with some of these bot profiles. I believe some also get people to go to other sites as well and this leads to even more profits with little chance of actually "hooking up".


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

SoVeryLost said:


> There are also a number of men on the site who yes, are married, but whose wives have given them a "hall pass" of sorts. I work with a woman whose husband is on AM, and she not only knows about it, but is the one who encouraged him to sign up for it. After their second child was born sex became very painful for her. She claims they discussed it, want to remain married, but both acknowledged he had physical needs as a human being. She felt the odds of an emotional connection forming with a married woman would be substantially lower than if he were to find satiation with a single woman. Does she concern herself that her husband's involvement with a married woman may potentially be destroying another marriage? No. She always says if someone is on there looking to cheat, then if it weren't with her husband it would be with some other guy. Interesting how people can compartmentalize. What's even more interesting is that her husband is a prominent attorney in our area. Just seems a late night ONS in a nearby city might be the safer route to go if that's what they've chosen to do, but hey....they didn't ask me.




So rather then having surgery to solve the problem with intimacy she gives him a hall pass to troll AM for WW :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:



Talk about playing with fire


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Squeakr said:


> I have seen the figures posted somewhere and also referred to on television shows like Maury, Nate B, etc, that 1/6 is an actual person created profile and the rest are as was stated bot profiles created just to drive up profits. As I understand it (I have been to the site, but am not a member so this is what I gathered from just clicking around the site), that in order to respond to connections and request pics and other correspondence, interactions, etc, one must purchase credits or a paid membership. It is by having attractive profiles that more profits are made from people "hoping" to get lucky with some of these bot profiles. I believe some also get people to go to other sites as well and this leads to even more profits with little chance of actually "hooking up".


Yes, but the bot profiles are full of men and women. So the site is aimed at both genders, not just men. And again, the hetero men are looking to cheat with women. So it's equally appealing to both genders and their pocketbooks for "credit" purchases.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

To my knowledge, my ex-husband was never on AM. He apparently had plenty of luck as a serial cheater without having to resort to online hookups. People who want to cheat find ways to make that happen. 

The OP mentioned that understanding being unhappy in a marriage but wondered why people thought cheating would make it better. Frankly, there are plenty of people who are cheating who actually _aren't_ in unhappy marriages. I know several men who widely report - even to the same friends with whom they also brag about their cheating - that they are happily married. For them, the marriage has nothing to do with the cheating. They cheat - because they want to, because it's fun and exciting, because they _can_ - whether or not the marriage is happy. I'm guessing a decent percentage of the people on sites like AM might also fall into that category.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Yes, but the bot profiles are full of men and women. So the site is aimed at both genders, not just men. And again, the hetero men are looking to cheat with women. So it's equally appealing to both genders and their pocketbooks for "credit" purchases.


Yes, but if I remember correctly from my time looking at the site, the women get lots more free correspondence whereas the men need to pay to get any correspondence. It is essentially just like ladies night at a bar. The ladies do have to pay for drinks, but they have free cover charge and discounted drink prices to get more in there, so they can attract more men and gain more and bigger profits. So even though they gain profits from the women, they are mainly focusing on the men as they gain bigger and more profits from them. As was stated earlier, women don't really need these sites as much as men do as it is easier for women to find sex than it is men.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

On AM a man has to pay in order to private chat with a female..so that is where they hook them in. I suspect what happens is that when a man signs up these fake invitations saying hi, etc. come to him and he gets all excited and thinks what the heck I will pay to chat.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Another thing I don't get is why guys think showing pics of their privates is a turn on to women. Most women do not get "off" on that. 

I also don't understand why any man on there would think some woman would feel safe meeting a man she does not know in a hotel for sex...most ladies I know would not do that unless they were getting paid for it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Squeakr said:


> Yes, but if I remember correctly from my time looking at the site, the women get lots more free correspondence whereas the men need to pay to get any correspondence.


How do you know this? Did you sign up? It doesn't say anything like that on their front page--you have to subscribe to get full benefits of the site. 



Squeakr said:


> As was stated earlier, *women don't really need these sites as much as men do *as it is easier for women to find sex than it is men.


But women DO use the sites and pay for it. So it's not just aimed at the male subscribers. If someone wants to open up their wallet to pay to scheme on their spouse, they are going to, whether they are female or male, which is what the site hopes for. The bots are male and female alike, which appeals to everyone (male/female).


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

highwood said:


> On AM a man has to pay in order to private chat with a female..so that is where they hook them in. I suspect what happens is that when a man signs up these fake invitations saying hi, etc. come to him and he gets all excited and thinks what the heck I will pay to chat.


This is what I was trying to describe. You stated it perfectly. Not being a member and having been to the site so long ago, I knew it was something with correspondence and the men being required to buy credits or memberships where the women didn't need to in the identical situation.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

highwood said:


> On AM a man has to pay in order to private chat with a female..so that is where they hook them in. I suspect what happens is that when a man signs up these fake invitations saying hi, etc. come to him and he gets all excited and thinks what the heck I will pay to chat.


Does the site say that? That only men pay for chats? That women do not?

My feeling is if you, male or female, sign up to a site lik that and do research knowing that a lot of those profiles ARE bots, then you are a dumba55. And that is your choice to keep using it and keep paying.



highwood said:


> Another thing I don't get is why guys think showing pics of their privates is a turn on to women. Most women do not get "off" on that.


:rofl: D!ck pics abound. And it's not just on AM. It's on other dating sites and in just regular conversations. There is a guy I know who is friends with some people I know. He is also cousins with one of my good friends. We'd exchange some Hello and How are you texts from time to time. One day he randomly texted me a picture of him naked holding his d!ck in his hand. We never went on one date nor did I ever give indication that I wanted to see his private parts. I told him plaintly WTF are you sending me that for? And then he tried to backtrack saying it was a joke.

EWWW. 



highwood said:


> I also don't understand why any man on there would think some woman would feel safe meeting a man she does not know in a hotel for sex...


You'd be surprised. Lots of affair hook ups happen at hotels/motels because obviously it's easier than meeting at a private home where the spouse is. Hotels are famous for affairs meet ups.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

I just signed up, my handle is 'stdfree' look me up. I like walks on the beach. I'm happily married and love my wife, I also would love to have sex with anyone that will reply to me.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That seems like the perfect profile for that site.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> That seems like the perfect profile for that site.


Whats your phone #, I'll send you a picture of myself holding my unit.. 

I feel we've had enough interaction now that we're at that point in our relationship.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Does the site say that? That only men pay for chats? That women do not?
> 
> My feeling is if you, male or female, sign up to a site lik that and do research knowing that a lot of those profiles ARE bots, then you are a dumba55. And that is your choice to keep using it and keep paying.
> 
> ...


Of course they occur at hotels but with people that know each other..co workers, etc. But some strange guy/girl you have never met before at all...what if they are gross and you find them unattractive..you still going to sleep with them???


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

highwood said:


> Of course they occur at hotels but with people that know each other..co workers, etc. But some strange guy/girl you have never met before at all...what if they are gross and you find them unattractive..you still going to sleep with them???


This is why you send them a pic of yourself holding your unit first silly..


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

highwood said:


> But some strange guy/girl you have never met before at all...what if they are gross and you find them unattractive..you still going to sleep with them???


Yea but the people on those sites are looking for a strange hook up. That is the entire point. LOL.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

russell28 said:


> This is why you send them a pic of yourself holding your unit first silly..


If this is reference to my post, I already knew him. And did not want to see his d!ck.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I really just can't figure out the number of people who send out nudie pics of themselves to strangers or boyfriends/girlfriends. It seems so many people aren't afraid of these pics getting around to friends and family, especially their children. 










Do people have any shame anymore?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What about the ones who post this stuff on SOCIAL MEDIA? That is even worse!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Do people have any shame anymore?


:rofl: Nope!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Zanne said:


> Yes, it does. The premise is that women don't need to do much.
> 
> I have never been on AM, or any other dating site for that matter, but I know people who have and it was described to me in detail.


If that is true then anyone/everyone using that site must love spending a lot of their money to talk to bots.

I bet AM makes a lot of money too.

People on Craigslist post those same ads for free. Here is one:

_I'm also Married just like you! - m4w -
age : 41 body : athletic height : 5'11" (180cm)

Missing those sparks or butterfly effects from life. You may already know how hard it is. Just looking for that one very special Friend to cultivate that bond to bring positive energy to our Life. I'm not looking to change your situation or my situation._


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

russell28 said:


> This is why you send them a pic of yourself holding your unit first silly..


But how do you know it is really them


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Zanne said:


> It's also true that you have to pay to delete your profile....around $200 if I remember correctly.


Well that's just great. 

Lesson learned: DO NOT create a profile on AM to see if your WW/WH is on there.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Zanne said:


> It's also true that you have to pay to delete your profile....around $200 if I remember correctly.


Oh wow.



lordmayhem said:


> Lesson learned: DO NOT create a profile on AM to see if your WW/WH is on there.


:rofl:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Zanne said:


> It's all about marketing and making money for the administrators of that site. They do a good job with that, brilliant idea really.


Oh I agree. The site is famous. If someone mentions AM, most people know what it's about. It's practically a household name affair site. And charging $200 to take a profile down? Yeah, they make BANK.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

I’ve got two profiles there I set up just after DD and was snooping around. A male and a female. It’s a sad place. Basically, you’ll get notified if someone contacts you. As a guy, you need credits to respond. As a girl, you do not if someone else initiated.

My female profile was set to troll for the OM; He was on there. I made her 5’-2” and 200 lbs, no pic, no information… that profile got 30 messages that day and it kept up. Scary how desperate and predatory the guys are.

The male one, I set up as myself. There was some interest and a couple offers. Chatted back and forth. I chickened out meeting. Like others have stated, there is a subculture there that are rejected from other sites like match. Open relationships, swingers, sugar babies, and ‘alternate’ like cuckhold. It is tons more professional and less creepy than AFF. 

And yes, my wife knows and is distraught about it. We even logged on together one night because I spotted an old friend of hers and she didn’t believe me.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Zanne said:


> It's also true that you have to pay to delete your profile....around $200 if I remember correctly.




$200!!!!!!!!!!! are you kidding me


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

highwood said:


> But how do you know it is really them


True, I usually send out pics of Brett Favres unit because mine isn't as photogenic.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Or maybe she isn't cheating at all and she just let's her husband have a "hall pass."


This comes up sometime in the "sex and prostate cancer" email list I subscribe to, but it's the reverse. A lot of the guys have super low (the doc said I'm "normal") testosterone levels, haven't lifted a barbell since Nixon was president and don't exactly remember why getting their hands on girls was so important to them once upon a time.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

sinnister said:


> I checked it out....you guys do realize that the site is about 99.9% bots designed to leech money from men right?


Yeah, the guys on blogger had discussed that quite a bit and worked out strategies on how to beat the system. IIRC it was like "ladies night" and real women didn't have to pay for profiles or contacts, but men did.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

wouldn't it be cheaper just to go on craigslist? there is some real nice people their:roll eyes:.....lol


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> This comes up sometime in the "sex and prostate cancer" email list I subscribe to, but it's the reverse. A lot of the guys have super low (the doc said I'm "normal") testosterone levels, *haven't lifted a barbell since Nixon was president* and don't exactly remember why getting their hands on girls was so important to them once upon a time.


:rofl: 

I once saw a documentary on couples/their sex lives and one woman's husband paid for her to sleep with someone else because he couldn't get it up anymore and he wanted her to have some kind of sexual experience since he could not penetrate her.



convert said:


> wouldn't it be cheaper just to go on craigslist?


Absolutely. It's free.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Craigslist had a killer, that's bad for PR..


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's only a matter of time for AM.

Match.com got sued for pairing a woman with a murderer.

http://bossip.com/716873/creep-life...ho-stabbed-her-10-times-in-the-face-and-neck/


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I never went on AM. I find it ethically wrong to cheat or help someone else cheat. Back in my dating days, though, AM wasn't needed to find lots of cheaters. The regular dating sites are full of married men and women seeking a connection - it was sometimes hard to find a legitimately single (or even legally separated) person to date! Many even put their status as married, and make no pretense.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Zanne said:


> OT: how ironic is it that I am on the CWI forum and there is a TAM sponsored *ad for a dating site to meet Russian women. Free to join!* Geesh.




Russian women you say! free to join you say! where are these ads so I my join.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

xakulax said:


> Russian women you say! free to join you say! where are these ads so I my join.


I think you need to not be logged in or have enough posts.. I also want Russian women. The kind like in the old James Bond movies.. with big furry hats.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Zanne said:


> Regarding AM, according to my friend, the quality of "real" women was laughable. Misspelled words in their profiles, etc. But it didn't matter. They were still hit on. He, on the otherhand, had to carefully craft his profile to get any interest.


Funny how the spam bots can't even spell.. or they want to appear stupid, so the idiot guys on the site that would fall for that crap think 'ooh, a stupid one, perfect', idiot meet robot generated spam 

Like that movie "Her"... I fell in love with a batch file..


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## whataboutthis? (Apr 5, 2013)

Very simple...a spouse who has profiles on sites like AM and who trolls the internet on backpage and eros has absolutely no respect for his/her spouse. He or she places his or her physical desires above their spouse's emotional well-being. 

Granted there are different circumstances out there but I am referring to the person in a healthy marriage that is just looking for side excitement. 

These people do not realize that such "innocent fun" destroys the foundation of trust forever. What once was sacred has now been destroyed for the purpose of cheap thrills with trash. 

I'm not sure how many of you have experienced the destruction of this behavior but I can tell you that nothing is quite as devastating as one's husband choosing to place his sexual desire into trash above placing his desire into you. When one comes second to internet trash, well, the pain is indescribable. It's absolutely the worst feeling I've ever experienced. 

So I wonder how many people looking to do this ever consider how doing so would make their spouse feel. Do they really consider it harmless fun or do they know full well what they are doing?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

whataboutthis? said:


> . Do they really consider it harmless fun or do they know full well what they are doing?


Unless their mind has been erased, yes, they know full well what they are doing.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

russell28 said:


> I think you need to not be logged in or have enough posts.. I also want Russian women. *The kind like in the old James Bond movies.. with big furry hats*.


Like this ?


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

whataboutthis? said:


> So I wonder how many people looking to do this ever consider how doing so would make their spouse feel. Do they really consider it harmless fun or do they know full well what they are doing?


It is both. They know full well what they are doing (don't let them fool you otherwise), and they also feel that it is harmless fun. They justify it for whatever reason, they aren't getting any at home, they are being ignored, blah, blah, blah.... Justification as they know what they are doing and it is wrong, so they justify.


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## whataboutthis? (Apr 5, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> It is both. They know full well what they are doing (don't let them fool you otherwise), and they also feel that it is harmless fun. They justify it for whatever reason, they aren't getting any at home, they are being ignored, blah, blah, blah.... Justification as they know what they are doing and it is wrong, so they justify.


I get the justification thing. Mine justified it by saying it was only fantasy and because he didn't physically cross the line it was the same as looking at porn. Granted I'll never know if it was just fantasy. Was going on for a long time (2005 to 2012) so I have my doubts.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> Do people have any shame anymore?


No. 

I'm sure the NSA guys have blistered units from all the homemade phone porn they intercept everyday.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> How so?
> 
> They do cheat with mostly women (well, the hetero population who uses them, I assume). So one half is aimed at women...
> 
> ...


These type of sites have reduced or in some cases ZERO fee's associated with women sending messages to users. The fee's are predominantly applied to men who want to send the message.

I saw on a talk show the creator of this site said they periodically have discount periods for women to attract them because the site is mostly male dominated.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl:
> 
> I once saw a documentary on couples/their sex lives and one woman's husband paid for her to sleep with someone else because he couldn't get it up anymore and he wanted her to have some kind of sexual experience since he could not penetrate her.


Why not just get a bionic d¡ck? I think it's about 25 grand, so well worth the price. The problem is the guy's testosterone is zero, so he simply has no interest.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Why not just get a bionic d¡ck? I think it's about 25 grand, so well worth the price. The problem is the guy's testosterone is zero, so he simply has no interest.


Hearing these stories..

Here comes the TMI part of the thread. I have a high sex drive, could have sex a half dozen times a day and it'd work fine for me... and my wife cheats on me, knowing damn well that I'm a sex machine (not bionic)... that really added insult to injury, that we were having sex a few times a week.. but she was having sex more than that... Yet I never got told I had permission to go screw around.. I got duty sex for half a decade and turned away often instead.. oy... done venting.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

russell28 said:


> Hearing these stories..
> 
> Here comes the TMI part of the thread. I have a high sex drive, could have sex a half dozen times a day and it'd work fine for me... and my wife cheats on me, knowing damn well that I'm a sex machine (not bionic)... that really added insult to injury, that we were having sex a few times a week.. but she was having sex more than that... Yet I never got told I had permission to go screw around.. I got duty sex for half a decade and turned away often instead.. oy... done venting.


I know the feeling. It could be worse, as your description matches mine except the duty sex was a lot less than you got (more of the turned down for me), and the AP (which she was only able to meet up with a few times a year due to schedules and distance) got more sex from her than I did. I was told sex hurt since the birth of the second child, but I guess it only hurts with the one you are supposed to have it with and not ANY and EVERY other man in the world!! Nope not bitter in the least!!!


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I know the feeling. It could be worse, as your description matches mine except the duty sex was a lot less than you got (more of the turned down for me), and the AP (which she was only able to meet up with a few times a year due to schedules and distance) got more sex from her than I did. I was told sex hurt since the birth of the second child, but I guess it only hurts with the one you are supposed to have it with and not ANY and EVERY other man in the world!! Nope not bitter in the least!!!


Wow, that's the suck..


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