# Depressed - withdrawal?



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Man. Expecting my divorce to come through any damn day now....there've been some glitches and technical issues holding it up. I'm really wanting...needing it to be final for closure and so I can move on fully. 

I just ended a 3+ month "fling" shall we call it, where I was having sex and hanging out with a woman, but I wasn't in to anything long term. The sex was great, she was cool, but she was pushing for a relationship and I wasn't down. I got really sick Friday before last (bronchitis) and it nailed me hard. It was at the tail-end of this I ended it. Then we just had Thanksgiving (it's in October in Canada) and my kids were with their mom, so I went solo to the family Thanksgiving. That sucked. All these couples with their kids, and then there's me, totally solo.

Anyway, I don't miss this woman really, but I had been having sex/human intimacy 2 or 3 times a week for over 3 months, then cold turkey. Still not feeling 100% physically. Then Thanksgiving.

I am in a blue funk something fierce. All I want to do is sleep. Work is a saving grace as I'm super busy and under the gun...so that's a good distraction. But I found myself dreading going home last night, to my empty house...I had anxiety about it. I cleaned up when I got there and that helped. But man, am I bummed. I don't care about getting laid (at least consciously) or dating right now, I have no motivation to make music (I'm a pro musician) and I can just feel the sadness in my face. I get my kids again tonight until Tuesday, so that'll be good. They're awesome and lift me up.

But I wonder if the cold turkey with the sex/hanging with this woman is intensifying my depression? I also quit smoking (12 days now). I wasn't a heavy smoker, but I'm glad I quit.

Also fighting with the ex as she is pushing to move cities and cut my custody (I have them Wed-Sun - she wants me to only have them weekends so she can move to the town her bf is in and not have to do the commute). She can't change my custody, but she can move and make life miserable. It may go to court if she keeps pushing. What a nightmare. The poor kids are being pulled in 2 different directions and it's stressing me the **** out. Doesn't help my hatred for that cheating skank.

Anyway, hating this. And not used to feeling utterly apathetic and just down right sad. Feel like there's nothing to look forward to. Except the divorce being final.  Sure hope it passes.

</self-pitying rant >


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

be around people. most important.

In my bachelor days when I was lonely, i would go to sports bars (guy bars, not pick-up joints) for the company and socializing. I didn't really go to talk, but having people around was of great benefit. However if you have any alcoholic tendencies, pick something else. I could go, have 2-3 beers over a 3-4 hour period and be done. Some people can't.

Pick something for the evenings where you can be around people.

Don't be alone and don't go to bars for 'pick-ups'.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Holiday blues are normal. But to get out of your funk and stay out, there are lots of things to try. Exercise right after work. You'll be tired and sweaty when you get home and you won't dread going there to get a hot shower.

You can get a cat or a dog, depending on lifestyle and allergies. Cats are independent so make good companions for busy people. The cat will be something to satisfy need for touch and you can talk to them and they'll chatter back. Sometimes it's just nice to be loved/wanted.

Put the TV or radio on a timer so there's already sound when you get home. Same thing with lights. It's depressing to come home to a dark and silent dwelling and some soft lighting and a little background noise can be a relief.

Take a class. Don't go home - go to class! It can be anything you are interested in and nothing related to your career. Pottery, geology, art, anything. Plus it gives you something to do other days because there will be homework.

Sorry about the ex and potential move. Since she caused the divorce by cheating, and she is the one who wants to move, she sure shouldn't be allowed to take the kids farther away or make them move from all that is familiar. Would you be able to handle custody? THAT would make the house less depressing for sure!


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

This too shall pass. What you are feeling is very normal, IMHO.

I suggest taking this to your music. Just pick up a guitar or sit at the piano and let your feelings come out.


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## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

I got dumped on the Friday before the long weekend too. Nothing beats having to write a "okay, thanks for the fun times, best wishes" text on a crowded train and having to put on a forced smile for the family when you get there.

Try and stay busy, occupy yourself, that's what I did.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Holiday blues are normal. But to get out of your funk and stay out, there are lots of things to try. Exercise right after work. You'll be tired and sweaty when you get home and you won't dread going there to get a hot shower.
> 
> You can get a cat or a dog, depending on lifestyle and allergies. Cats are independent so make good companions for busy people. The cat will be something to satisfy need for touch and you can talk to them and they'll chatter back. Sometimes it's just nice to be loved/wanted.
> 
> ...



OP:

think seriously about a dog. With a dog you'll always come home to an enthusiastic burst of love!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

There were times I would stand out on the balcony my myself and contemplate my loneliness almost to tears.

What happened to our love and commitment?

I think most of us have been there.

Just being around friends/people helps I think.


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## ShutOutbyWife (Jan 22, 2015)

I am so depressed. My Prozac doesn't seem to help much. My wife of 32 years says she loves me. Actions speak louder than words; she surely doesn't show it. Also, I've grown so tired of begging for sex from my legally, married wife.


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