# A better me !



## dwdj75 (Sep 30, 2020)

So here I am, I’ve been working on this post for like two weeks lol

I posted a few details in my newbie thread here .

So, before digging into my marriage, let me give a bit of my back story and issues as mentioned in the previous thread:

ADHD
I was always a "fidgety" kid, I could not sit still ... literally. During a regular Saturday morning cartoon, I would start by sitting on the couch, then move to the love seat, to the chair, onto the floor, back to the love seat, and so on. After the episode of Krofft Superstar, or Scooby Doo (old school shout outs!) if you were to ask me where I sitting while watching the show, I would look at where was at that moment and say "well ... here".
One of many examples, unfortunately.

My second issue mentioned in the previous thread:
Depression
Now being different from other kids growing up absolutely fed my depression, also being a slightly heavy kid, and add on hyperhidrosis! Besides all these none were compared to the main course, that would be my parents. Wow, could I write a book on those two. I'm sure I will get to them, but let's just say FOO issues is real lol

My third issue mentioned but not stated, is to me, the worst one:
Emotions
Or really failure to express them, or sometimes, a total lack of them.

This concerned me growing up, I was not a happy kid, nor was I sad, or fearful, or angry, I was just … there. Now, even without these I could put on a good act!

Christmas presents? Ooh I was so excited to open presents … thanks!

Scary movies? Ooh, I’m so scared.

My maternal grandmother passes away. Aww, I’m so sad.

But I wasn’t excited, scary movies were boring, and just couldn’t feel sympathy for her death.

Now, I wasn’t cruel, one good quality of my parents / family was respect, manners, and morals. Growing up in Texas it’s almost a given lol. Also add that all the above issues didn’t exactly make me an extrovert so, I was quiet, and having these manners made me out of sight, out of mind.

Of course, I’m sure all of you are saying “well that’s this, and that’s that !!!” But in the 80s it was not well known.

So until I just floated until 1997 when I met my wife to be …


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

So how many years of therapy have you had? Lack of emotion sounds like a sociopath. Are you saying you think that's ADHD?


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## dwdj75 (Sep 30, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> So how many years of therapy have you had? Lack of emotion sounds like a sociopath. Are you saying you think that's ADHD?


In order:
Years ? I've been to a psychiatrist three times. Back when I was first diagnosed at the age of 38.

I've been to a marriage counselor twice last year, when my marriage was on life support.

Presently, I have been to an individual counselor twice, I'm now going every two weeks.

Yes, I have noticed sociopathic tendencies, but I have never been hostile. So not sure on that.

No, I do not think it is linked with ADHD, I was just lucky to draw those straws !


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Keep going to individual therapy and hopefully they can diagnose you.


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## AmberP (Apr 21, 2021)

It's good that you're working on problems because a lot of people just give up. I hope that you can solve all the problems, I've dealt with this. It's hard, but therapy helps. Keep an eye on your condition.


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