# Am I sexually desired by my husband?



## Tiffy726 (Sep 19, 2016)

As I lie here in bed awake from sexual frustration for the 2nd night in a row, I'm asking for advice on what to do. 

How do you explain to your spouse the level of pain you experience when you're not sexually desired by them?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Have you had the conversation with him before?


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## Tiffy726 (Sep 19, 2016)

Yes, several times. Ends up in arguments just like tonight. Would rather watch something on DVR then to make love. He evens go to the extent of googling nude pics of reality stars or looking at nude sites that post free daily amateur photos.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I'm a big believer in the bedroom is a reflection of everything outside the bedroom. How's the married life between the two of you? Any long standing resentment or family problems?


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## Tiffy726 (Sep 19, 2016)

Marriage is great. He is an affectionate man, loves me but if you were to ask if he desires me, I would answer that differently. I just never feel good enough.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Would you say it's a sexual drive mismatch or in that you feel he doesn't want you as bad as you sexually want him?


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Tiffy726 said:


> Yes, several times. Ends up in arguments just like tonight. Would rather watch something on DVR then to make love. *He evens go to the extent of googling nude pics of reality stars or looking at nude sites that post free daily amateur photos.*


Ah... Do you think it's possible that he's addicted to porn?

He may be masturbating to porn all the time. As strange as it sounds, given the opportunity, a lot of men will choose masturbating to porn over real sex. They literally become addicted to it. With such easy access to free nudity/porn today, this is a very real issue affecting a lot of couples. Read this article and see if it resonates with you. Especially the part below "What's Wrong with Pornography"

With that said - you mentioned "second night in a row." How many nights do you go without having sex? If it's just 2 or 3, he may just have a lower sex drive than you. That does not mean he doesn't find you attractive.

When you do make love, does he seem really into it, or just going through the motions?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Tiffy726 said:


> Marriage is great. He is an affectionate man, loves me but if you were to ask if he desires me, I would answer that differently. I just never feel good enough.


MW Davis has a number of great books that would likely provide you with some ideas on what you can do, if anything is possible.

I was in a sex starved marriage that was saved by my making a lot of changes to myself and working with a marriage counselor who was also a noted sex therapist. 

The first thing I had to do, and it was hard was to forgive my wife for the lack of sex in our marriage. Once I really forgave her, I was no longer the victim and I could focus on things that I could do to change myself. You can't change your spouse, only they can do that.

When you talk to you H and it end up in a fight, why do you think that is? Are you pressuring him, frightening him, embarrassing him, judging him? One thing I needed to learn in interacting with my wife was that I didn't need to get angry when she emotionally hurt me. I could refuse to get pulled into a fight.

Dr. David Schnarch also has an interesting book on intimacy and desire. The low sexual desire partner (according to Schnach) always controls the frequency of sex. The more the high desire person pressures the low desire person, the less sex will occur. 

Another thing Schnarch spends a lot of time discussing is reflexive love. That is our own need to feel we have been chosen by our spouse and that they desire us. My wife's level of sexual desire is much lower than mine. We have done some Schnarch and Gottman exercises to build desire, but hers is still lower. It wasn't until I worked on myself and built my confidence and self esteem that I was a manly man that I didn't need her to constantly show me she desired me. That took quite a bit of emotional growth on my part.

Finally can you talk to H about finding nonsexual ways of being intimate and bonding? Sex therapists have a lot of exercises to do this that establish new patterns of couples interactions.

Good Luck.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Does he prefer men? That’s ‘usually’ the reason for men not to sleep with their wives.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

InMyPrime said:


> Does he prefer men? That’s ‘usually’ the reason for men not to sleep with their wives.




or their wives have become unfeeling fat slobs....
that is probably a bigger reason


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

InMyPrime said:


> Does he prefer men? That’s ‘usually’ the reason for men not to sleep with their wives.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


WTF really???

No, it's not.

Is it your opinion the other way, too? A lower drive than her husband woman is that way because she prefers women?

Still amazed you made this statement like it's truth.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Livvie said:


> WTF really???
> 
> No, it's not.
> 
> ...



No, it’s not the same the other way. 
Also this statement is not ‘truth’. It’s just a box to check off before doing anything else because if it’s that, then there’s not much that can be done about it.
I don’t know any men that would turn down actual sex...it’s usually up there with food and sleep. And I would forego those two for sex...
Porn is not a good substitute.
All ‘IMHO’. Calm down 


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> or their wives have become unfeeling fat slobs....
> 
> that is probably a bigger reason



Could be. But I think a lot more men would continue sleeping with the fat slobs, especially if they were straight.
I dunno. I better shut up before I trigger more people. Check porn browser histories to find out what might be going on.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Also, one of the most important ways to ‘prove’ yourself as a man, is to have crazy wild sex with your wife (or whatever sex your wife desires, if she’s not into ‘crazy...). If you lost that desire, you lost your man badge.

Anyway, OP should go via the elimination route:

1. Check for gayness (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
2. Check for porn addiction and browser history to see what the turn ons are
3. Check if there’s is anyone else (co-worker or that hot supermarket girl at the check out), texts, emails...
4. Check your weight (as suggested by someone else, but I’m not convinced)

The checklist is different for men...and not very long (it usually isn’t) so don’t bite my heads off!


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## Tiffy726 (Sep 19, 2016)

Thank you all for your resources and advice. Definitely, no gayness with him. I'm not a fat slob. I'm a curvy beautiful woman but definitely the "biggest" he has been with. We go weeks before the conversation is brought up about sex. I would say he is into it but I'm usually doing everything during sex which becomes exhausting and boring but I still desire my husband. He has the weight issue and I understand that could effect his drive. I dont come at him threatening when we have the talk, if I explain my feelings, it triggers his anger. Like he can't believe what he is hearing. I ended our conversation with we have some big issues with this. He became upset and I went to bed. He is more likey to listen if I send a text rather than a conversation. He sometimes feel bonding is watching our favorite TV shows together rather than sexual intimacy.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Tiffy726 said:


> Thank you all for your resources and advice. Definitely, no gayness with him. I'm not a fat slob. I'm a curvy beautiful woman but definitely the "biggest" he has been with. We go weeks before the conversation is brought up about sex. I would say he is into it but I'm usually doing everything during sex which becomes exhausting and boring but I still desire my husband. He has the weight issue and I understand that could effect his drive. I dont come at him threatening when we have the talk, if I explain my feelings, it triggers his anger. Like he can't believe what he is hearing. I ended our conversation with we have some big issues with this. He became upset and I went to bed. He is more likey to listen if I send a text rather than a conversation. He sometimes feel bonding is watching our favorite TV shows together rather than sexual intimacy.



Glad to hear there’s no gayness  
Weight could be a problem (his weight). There could also be some dip in his attraction levels towards you for whatever reason though I consider this unlikely. 
It sounds as though he’s a ‘going with the flow’ type personality. Not terribly ambitious? Or keen to over-achieve? Likes peace and avoids confrontation? And you are more in charge in the marriage?
This dynamic can lead to the guy becoming too passive, also in bed.
I think it’s important to address the issue, any way you can (text is fine too, if it’s easier). Over time, it will sink in. Pose it without trying to make it sound as though it’s his fault though. Like: “I’m having a hard time feeling as though there’s no desire coming from you...” Yeah, I dunno. This still sounds like it’s his fault...you can probably think of a way to phrase it better.
Maybe: “I’m a woman, and I want to be ****ed like you mean it, once in a while, FFS!!!”, in a non confrontational manner 
You can tell I’m no good with this...Just say it like it is! He’s a big man. He can take it!


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

I hate to say this but after going back and looking at your previous threads, I don't think he is likely to change. If he was never really that sexual with you before, its unlikely to change now. I don't know how long you have known him, but you have been posting about it for the last three years, and apparently he was that way before you were married? You seem to indicate things are fine in the relationship otherwise. I wish I had better news for you, but this is just who he is. For some people this is a reason to leave a marriage, others learn to accept it and focus on the other aspects of the relationship. At this point its more about you deciding what you want to do.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Yeah if it’s always been like this then it will be more difficult to change him...But men are like dogs: you can train them to be your best friend or train them to be the best lover...But we can be trained! Just need the right incentive.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

This is your life and will continue to be your life unless you change it up. 

He uses anger to shut it down. Stop talking and start doing. Start with not sleeping in the same bed as him (why should you?) and then get the Sunday paper and check out rentals for just you. That should start the conversation flowing.

Do you want to be here ten years from now complaining about the same thing? What a waste of a life.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Tiffy: My marriage has been basically sexless since our wedding day. I started complaining about it to my wife during our honeymoon. Insisted on marriage counselling during year 5. Did 8 years of marriage counselling. Nothing changed. I have been on internet discussion forums for 17 years complaining about my sexless marriage.

Do not do as I have done. Get out now. If you have been complaining for 3 years and he remains angry and uncompromising, you have basically zero chance of fixing it without being willing to leave him over it. And after 3 years of complaining and doing little or nothing about his refusal to work on it, the only way he will believe you are seriously willing to leave is when you move out or he is served with divorce papers. Anything else is just more words and he has shown himself capable of completely ignoring your words and feelings. Why do you want to remain married to someone who has no problem ignoring your feelings?

You need to do some individual counselling to determine why you are willing to accept such an unfulfilling relationship, and to figure out what you need to do to become UNwilling to accept crumbs from your life partner. You are worth more than crumbs. But you will need to convince yourself of that before you will be able to convince your husband.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its a miserable spot for you to be in. 

A few things:

Any medical issues, or medication? Some anti-depressants can completely kill a person's sex drive.

Any serious stress in the marriage other than sexual issues.

Does he have ED or any sexual problems that might make him avoid sex?


Was he always like this, or was he enthusiastic about sex early in your relationship. (sometimes though that happens because the other person is pretending).


Take a look at asexuality.org There are people who simply are not interested in sex. This almost perfectly matches my wife's behavior - she is loving and affectionate, but very rarely wants sex and doesn't understand why it matters to me. 


If he is asexual, this will never get better. That leaves you needing to make the horrible choice:
Leave, Cheat, Live like a nun. 


All 3 of those options suck. 










Tiffy726 said:


> As I lie here in bed awake from sexual frustration for the 2nd night in a row, I'm asking for advice on what to do.
> 
> How do you explain to your spouse the level of pain you experience when you're not sexually desired by them?


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

uhtred said:


> If he is asexual, this will never get better. That leaves you needing to make the horrible choice:
> 
> Leave, Cheat, Live like a nun.



Or....get better at persuasion. Some people are able to get other people to do stuff that other people can’t get the same people to do.  why is that?



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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I'm not really serious, at least this isn't a serious answer right off the bat.

If you're frustrated, and he's in bed too, just masturbate right there, see what he does. 

Methods at your discretion.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I'm not really serious, at least this isn't a serious answer right off the bat.
> 
> If you're frustrated, and he's in bed too, just masturbate right there, see what he does.
> 
> Methods at your discretion.


That will move most men to immediate, deliberate action!

If it doesn't, then you really know where you stand. 

You either get what you want, or you gain an additional relevant data point about your relationship.


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## FloridaOranges (Apr 30, 2019)

Do you guys have kids? 

Does your husband workout? Take care of himself physically? I'm definitely way more hungry after working out, especially after squats/leg day. 

I've been married coming up on 10 yrs, and after baby #2 we are not having sex. I've learned to live with it, but it definitely sucks. She wants me to use a condom so she doesn't accidentally get pregnant since she's not getting her period yet, but I really hate condoms and I'm not willing to get a vasectomy. 

There's more too it, like it takes longer for my wife to get turned on, if at all, and it also hurts her physically as with most women, to have sex if she's not very turned on, so needless to say, sex has taken a backseat in our marriage. 

However I am not worried and think things should get back to normal eventually, we are both very attracted to each other. Anyway, figured I'd respond to your thread to let you know you're not alone. 

As for the tv watching, men do bond by sitting side by side with others. I forget the study I read, but actually sitting next to someone in a car or on a couch is in fact a form of bonding for men. 

I suggest setting aside 1-2 nights per week to engage in watching a movie or tv show with him, express interest. But you guys should also hit the gym together, or go for walks or a run, fitness can really boost things in general.


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## FloridaOranges (Apr 30, 2019)

*dp


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

If he is a straight sexual guy - yes. If he is an asexual he will just be disgusted and it will be a pretty mortifying experience for her. 



Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I'm not really serious, at least this isn't a serious answer right off the bat.
> 
> If you're frustrated, and he's in bed too, just masturbate right there, see what he does.
> 
> Methods at your discretion.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

But as RMY mentioned it would be another data point, more info.

And they are married. If he starts freaking out over this it would be better to know sooner rather than later.

I dunno. It's a way to move things along. 😊


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Tiffy726 said:


> ....I'm usually doing everything during sex which becomes exhausting and boring but I still desire my husband. He has the weight issue and I understand that could effect his drive. I dont come at him threatening when we have the talk, if I explain my feelings, *it triggers his anger.* Like he can't believe what he is hearing. I ended our conversation with we have some big issues with this. He became upset and I went to bed....



If he is getting upset and angry when it comes to discussions about his ability to satisfy you sexually... STOP! The last thing you want to do is erode is confidence and give him performance anxiety. This will make the idea of sex for him emotionally painful and all about trying to please you for which he likely already feels he will never be good enough. 

If he is getting upset and angry because you insist he needs to be aroused, full of desire, and have an exciting orgasm every time you are together... STOP! The last thing you want to do is take something pleasurable for him, create expectations, and get frustrated when things do not go your way. This will make what could have been pleasurable for him into something uncomfortable and full of anxiety. 

You need to work on being easy to please sexually and compliment any and all of his efforts to try. Even if he tries and fails. Do not try to please him unless he asks you to. Desire sometimes needs an opportunity to want something. Try not to get your feelings hurt if he is not in the mood to be pleasured. Instead focus your efforts on being thankful for any efforts he makes to please you when you ask. 

Here is an example of being super easy to please and allowing him to be in control of that. Purchase a remote control vibrator and test it own your own to make sure it works. Then one evening make sure you preemptively have it in place and just hand him the remote. Explain that all he needs to do to please you is to press the button, or that he could take matters into his own hands, or that you will jump on top of him. Let him be in control of that and enjoy the power of being able to decide, and in particular having it be as easy as pressing a button. The point being is to let him be in control and you compliment his ability to do so to help rebuild his confidence. 

The male ego is sometimes more delicate than a house of cards! 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

badsanta said:


> Tiffy726 said:
> 
> 
> > ....I'm usually doing everything during sex which becomes exhausting and boring but I still desire my husband. He has the weight issue and I understand that could effect his drive. I dont come at him threatening when we have the talk, if I explain my feelings, *it triggers his anger.* Like he can't believe what he is hearing. I ended our conversation with we have some big issues with this. He became upset and I went to bed....
> ...


 Seriously??


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Tiffy726 said:


> Thank you all for your resources and advice. Definitely, no gayness with him. I'm not a fat slob. I'm a curvy beautiful woman but definitely the "biggest" he has been with. We go weeks before the conversation is brought up about sex. I would say he is into it but I'm usually doing everything during sex which becomes exhausting and boring but *I still desire my husband.* He has the weight issue and *I understand that could effect his drive*. I dont come at him threatening when we have the talk, *if I explain my feelings, it triggers his anger*. Like he can't believe what he is hearing. I ended our conversation with we have some big issues with this. *He became upset and I went to bed.* He is more likey to listen if I send a text rather than a conversation. He sometimes feel bonding is watching our favorite TV shows together rather than sexual intimacy.


Have you really thought and explored some of the things in the above post?

First, there is this thing called metabolic symptom in overweight older men. It usually involves diabetes or pre-diabetes, very low testosterone levels. Belly fat in men can convert testosterone into estrogen. That can increase fat levels, cause a loss of muscle mass and be a viscous cycle. All of those things can lead to ED issues that can be hugely embarrassing to a man's self image. Are you sure he has had blood work from a doctor to see if he has any diabetes or low T issues? Has he tried any kind of ED medication? Would he find it helpful?

Next, while you may think you are not threatening when you talk, are your sure of his emotions when you talk? One of the interesting things I learned at a Gottmans weekend marriage retreat was a concept called flooding. Flooding is when you feel emotionally threatened to the point that your Adrenaline kicks in to the point that you go into full fight or flight mode. Your brain basically gets tunnel vision. When either I or my wife are emotionally flooded, the only thing we can do is tell that other that we are emotionally flooded and that we need a time out for the Adrenaline to clear from out body so we can talk calmly. His emotionally flooding is not your fault, but the two of you need to learn how to spot it and call a time out to continue you conversation. Sometimes it may require dividing a complex problem into a series of small solvable pieces and addressing them on at a time.

Perhaps when you text, he can put the phone down, walk away and wait until he is calm before he considers a response? Have you asked if that is the case? You have stated some real clues, but have you explored the clues to the point that you understand.

May I suggest marriage counseling.

Good luck.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

Note to OP....Bonding is very limited with TV, movies, or anything that has an external attention grab.

Intimate dinner facing each other. Walking in the park. Participating in each others hobbies and likes....Get what I mean?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

personofinterest said:


> Seriously??


Yes!!! Generally speaking practicing gratitude in a relationship serves everyone much better than complaining about problems. 

As for the wife being easy to please sexually for her husband, many women here have commented that they take responsibility for their own pleasure and share that with their husbands. As in, "I'm about to go enjoy a great orgasm, feel free to join me if you want!" 

The redundant theme of, "I want you to want me and I need you to need me" is like a broken pop song record for immature codependent teenagers living with low self esteem and fear of abandonment. At some point you got to grow up, be a great person all on your on, and simply share that with someone you love.

As for the male ego being delicate, us dudes don't talk about that. We instead get angry and behave passive aggressively to avoid confrontation. But we eventually figure it out after a mid life crisis or two and hopefully settle down and have more patience and wisdom. 

Badsanta


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Tiffy726 said:


> As I lie here in bed awake from sexual frustration for the 2nd night in a row, I'm asking for advice on what to do.
> How do you explain to your spouse the level of pain you experience when you're not sexually desired by them?


I feel exactly the same way you do, but being male I can't express empathy properly. The best I can do is answer your question directly. I usually get an ice pack from the freezer, and put it in my crotch until the swelling and soreness subsides. Nothing else has ever worked.


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## FloridaOranges (Apr 30, 2019)

BarbedFenceRider said:


> Note to OP....Bonding is very limited with TV, movies, or anything that has an external attention grab.
> 
> Intimate dinner facing each other. Walking in the park. Participating in each others hobbies and likes....Get what I mean?




Actually side by side time is bonding for an introverted male.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Some of the advice from men in this thread is incredibly irritating. 

Of course you want your husband to want you. No, wanting your husband to want you isn't "pop teenagerish" nor is it unreasonable. 

There are countless articles by sex and relationship experts, and countless threads on this very forum! discussing female responsive desire, that detail how the male's passion for sex with his partner is important in their dynamic and for having a frequent sex life.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Not wanting to hurt or criticize overweight men or women.....

But, being overweight, especially as one ages, going past age forty does impact so many facets of good living.

Being overweight, having a high fat content affects ones energy level and endurance.

It also affects ones bodily chemistry, especially hormonal balance. This does negatively affect sexual response in some people.
Worse, it leads to terrible diabetes.

Take a normal weight person and strap on a forty pound back pack on them and then ask them to go for a long walk in hilly country.
Most would get winded quickly, their knees and ankles and back would soon hurt.

Ask them to climb three flights of stairs....uh, no!

Good sex is much easier when you have well maintained body. Everything in life is easier to do.

That being said, heavier people are usually kinder, and easier to deal with!
It is a mindset. Who does not enjoy good food and drink? !

Everything is a trade off, eh?

Just Sayin'


KB- written by a very short, very fat leprechaun. My magic overcomes my short, round 'comings'.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Surprise him while he is still awake and in bed.

Walk into the room wearing a black leather harness, thigh high black boots and a dominatrix mask. Be holding a leather strap that you have practiced with to make a good slapping or snapping sound against or with your off hand.

In a low, commanding voice, (takes practice), say "Time to earn your keep slave."

It would be worth it just to see the look on his face and it might spark an interesting conversation.>

A little tongue in cheek here but if you have the fortitude and a good sense of humor, it could be fun!:wink2:


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## Satisfied Mind (Jan 29, 2019)

The advice from most of the men in this forum is so comically bad it almost makes me embarrassed to be a man.

OP, you answered your own original question. You are NOT sexually desired by your husband, and that has been the case for awhile based on your posting history.

As to your second question regarding how to explain to your husband the level of pain this is causing you, there are some good posts by others in this forum who are in the same boat as you. The best explanations are not accusatory or shaming, but instead focus on what sexual intimacy, and the lack thereof, means to you. I recommend you read around here for some ideas.

You have implicitly posed a third question, WHY you are not sexually desired by your husband, which is not one that any of us can answer for you or him. There are a number of possible reasons. What explanation has your husband given you, does that explanation hold any water, and what is he doing to address it? You will get whatever you're willing to put up with and, from your posts, it sounds like you haven't given him any reason to believe that you'll do anything other than continue to put up with a lack of sex.

I would highly recommend marriage counseling. The thing that jumped out to me most in your posts is not the lack of sex, it's the lack of effective communication. A good marriage counselor can teach you both the skills to communicate with each other about difficult subjects like this and with that foundation get down to the root of your sexual intimacy issues. And simply improving your communication and emotional intimacy may in itself remove barriers to your sexual intimacy.


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## Steelman (Mar 5, 2018)

I think you are just in a marriage like a good chunk of the other marriages out there- a total mismatch.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

MC is probably required. You need information and he’s not talking. Is there something that could be your fault but he’s afraid to say? (Eg, you’ve gained weight but he can’t say that because it would be hypocritical?)

He also needs to start eating right and hit the gym.

Was there anything that changed with you (or him) around the time that his desire went away?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

OP,

The last few posts reflect that mostly the responses have gone full circle and the conversation has retreated to boiler plate information, givens, if you will.

Now for the hard parts, actions and decisions; these are in your hands.

You can do it. Things certainly aren't totally up to H. 

After you've tried things sufficient to the levels of your desire but nothing works, what might be your next steps to put yourself, yes even without H, on a pathway to a more fulfilled, enjoyed, and happy life? 

You can do it. Whether staying or going keep in mind your happiness, health, and sanity are every bit important as his.

Good luck!


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Tiffy, you never answered the porn addiction question and I think you are ignoring this possibility. In my opinion as a man.... porn can destroy a man's desire for his wife.... He may never admit it and unless you're smarter with phones/computers it's likely you could never know or "catch" him.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Livvie said:


> Some of the advice from men in this thread is incredibly irritating.
> 
> -snip-





Satisfied Mind said:


> The advice from most of the men in this forum is so comically bad it almost makes me embarrassed to be a man.
> 
> -snip-


Sorry. I'm pretty sure my ice cure would not be effective for the emotional side of the Neglect. When I chemically reduced my libido it fixed the pain (physical) but did nothing for the loneliness. Mrs. Nail is moving towards her interested enough to touch phase, this week. She can't talk about it, or commit to a sex date. She can't touch long enough to get something started. 

Anyway, my question for you is, "what would you get from him acknowledging the pain you feel due to his Neglect?"
Because I've lashed out.
I've threatened, 
I've explained.
And it doesn't do **** for me.


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