# I triggered my own dang self!



## me2pointoh (Jan 31, 2012)

And feel like an idiot. We've been doing well and I really feel like we're on the same page. So we were snuggling last night and I told him he was lucky to have me, not in a mean way but in a playful way. So then I felt the need to balance that statement and said I was lucky to have him too, but then it was awkward and he mumbled "I don't know why" and I said the first thing that popped in my head which was something about a friendship like ours being so special and blahblahblah...

Only, that very friendship is what he gave away, so as I'm talking I'm realizing what's going on, roll over, get really quiet and then just start sobbing. He held me, I'm okay now, but man, that brought pain right back to the surface. Is it always going to just be right there waiting to jump out at you like a jackinthebox?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

Yeah, it'll be there for awhile, maybe a long while. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. Do the things you like to do. Look to yourself for your own happiness. I just took delivery on a new kayak; no time to think about the bad stuff.


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

This happens in R and is par for the course (= normal). Your partner seems to have been empathetic with you. Go easy on yourself. Agree w/RR - a physical release is good for you---body and spirit.


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## me2pointoh (Jan 31, 2012)

Yeah, exercise is on the menu. Been putting it off but I want and need it for me, plus I am doing other things I enjoy. This thing just sneaked up on me when I was doing well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

So far the answer is YES!!!


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## WhoIsIt (Dec 28, 2010)

I triggered myself this morning, stupidly. I was perusing the (wide open) FB page of the man my wife had a EA with two Decembers ago. I don't know why I do this, but I wonder what he's up to I guess. I shouldn't be surprised if it triggers something.

He posted a new picture and I saw something from his house that reminded me that I was never completely satisfied with my wife's explanations. I never felt like I got all the facts, even though I know (through my own research) that they never had sex. Now I've been obsessing about it all day and browsing these forums.

Ugh... I thought I'd let it go.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I triggered this morning as well. A couple of things culminated.....my bf has said for nearly a year that we should move in together. I have told him that he needs to organise his place so that one, I have my own space (it's a large loft) and so that it's well civilised.......like if it's my place too I want to be proud to have guests over.

On the one hand he says he doesn't have time, I can do it.....but then when I do it he gets mad. As such this morning when I was sorting papers that he had on the couch......and then for some strange reason a receipt fell out from a time when we had gone out and I felt that he had embarrassed me in front of my friends. He told me he didn't have any cash on him could I pay.......and then I saw a credit card receipt from that day in whcih he eventually bought himself a drink.

Yes, he got an earful today.

The other trigger that I have comes from many earlier situations in which I have been told that "I didn't try hard enough" to achieve something. Always told after the fact when nothing more can be done. My exH told me that I didn' try hard enough to be friends with the wives of his friends. Even though he never gave me guidance as to what was expected of me.

And even my current bf, always uses that excuse for why we didn't get together the day that I came back from a 3 week trip.

I told my bf.....either you continue working on getting this apartment ready for me to move in with you or you be honest and tell me that it's not what you want anyway.

I told him I will not continue spending every night with you which, I said, could effectively be all that you wanted anyway.

We will see.


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