# About my marriage



## Jagaban (7 mo ago)

Good evening all here , im going through heart break in my marriage of 7 years .. i need help on this


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## Jamieboy (Jan 14, 2021)

Need more to go on


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## Jagaban (7 mo ago)

2019 till date I was having issues with my business finance and somehow I had to put my energy into it because that was the only way I could feed my family but never knew this would affect my family later on ... but at the end my wife took this personal .. she relocated to usa on 2021 and I never went with her then .... but I told her I would come to meet her there .... come 2022 I was there and she told me she cheated on me during those times I wasn't around ... I told her let's make the marriage work out but she didn't.. rather it seems she is love with another guy ... which I somehow went through her phone and found out everything... please what should i do now ..... because I'm heart broken


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Sorry you're in this situation, but as hard as this is gather your self respect and dignity and get the fortitude to dump her.

Do not beg, do not do the "pick me" dance, to a woman that's an extremely weak show, it makes appear her affair partner more manly and stronger than you. All you'd gain is for her to lose any little respect she might have left for you.

Anyways, for you it shouldn't matter, the who, why, when, how many times, it should only matter that she did, and regardless of how hurt you are you should present strong, cold and detached to her. Give her divorce papers. Have dignity and don't allow her to see you being a mess.

Love is not enough, there's other factors to make a relationship work, such as fidelity, character, economics, etc. It takes two not one to have a relationship.

Get a lawyer immediately if you haven't yet. Protect yourself and ensure you get your 50/50 with your children if you have any with her. Do not communicate with her in person if at all possible, text only about children related matters only.

She's out, accept it and move on. Anyways why would you want to be with a cheater? Why would you want to have sex with a woman that is having another man inside her? I would be so gross out that I wouldn't be able to get it up, least of all touch her.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

That sucks, looking on the bright side she showed you she can’t be trusted. So you would do well to be rid of her.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Jagaban said:


> 2019 till date I was having issues with my business finance and somehow I had to put my energy into it because that was the only way I could feed my family but never knew this would affect my family later on ... but at the end my wife took this personal .. she relocated to usa on 2021 and I never went with her then .... but I told her I would come to meet her there .... come 2022 I was there and she told me she cheated on me during those times I wasn't around ... I told her let's make the marriage work out but she didn't.. rather it seems she is love with another guy ... which I somehow went through her phone and found out everything... please what should i do now ..... because I'm heart broken


@Jagaban I’m sorry you are here, and your family is in this situation. Your heartbreak is evident in your post.

Unfortunately the way forward is really hard, and there’s no shortcuts. @Rob_1 gave you advice that is 100% correct in terms of getting from where you are now, to a place where you might find happiness again. _Any_ other way will bring you more heartache.

I would add that you should find your anger about this whole thing. Let that give you strength to take the necessary but difficult steps. You need to be strong, firm, and convicted now more than ever.

Start to think of your wayward wife as the enemy. She is not your friend anymore. She has attacked and hurt you and will again every single time you have contact with her. So don’t have contact.

Get close to your family and friends and lean on them for support while you go through this. And keep posting here. Many many people here have been exactly where you are and have wonderful advice about the best things to do.

Call up a lawyer and start your healing journey. Do it today.

Best of luck to you.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

At this point you have to let her go. She didn't have enough sense or caring to realize you were working for her, because you loved her. Instead of communicating that to you in a way you understood she ran away & then cheated. She's not a quality person worth holding on to. Yes that sucks & you are in pain but once you jettison her you will be free to find somebody who understands & appreciates your efforts. Next time add a bit more balance in & pay attention to your loved ones, don't just chase money.


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