# Domestic discipline noob



## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Looking for advice from experienced DD D/s married couples ONLY.

My husband and I just recently talked about using DD in our D/s relationship last evening. My husband had never heard of the subject and at first was quite surprised and reacted in a way I didn’t expect. Afterward we both took some time apart and then during our pillow talk my husband told me he was ready to talk about DD openly with me.

It went really well! I was surprised by how understanding he can be when I speak up about my needs, or offer up suggestions for things I believe could strengthen our marriage.

I’ve been struggling to submit to him for a long time now. It’s not that I don’t want to submit, because believe me I do, it’s that my flesh is fighting against me and I’ve caused quite a few issues for us.

I feel that using DD in our marriage will counter my inability to fully submit. My husband agrees with this sentiment and wants to find a community where we can be open and honest with those who embrace DD & D/s in marriage.

If anyone can point us towards a Christian online community/forums to help us begin this new journey, I’d really appreciate it.

My husband wants to start making rules in a journal & begin implementing discipline in the coming weeks but he has asked me to point him towards some articles & experienced individuals to help.


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## Slowhand (Oct 8, 2021)

Silkbun said:


> Hello all! I’m new here.
> 
> Let me start out by saying I’m new to the idea of DD in marriage. Not so much D/s, however I had no idea how vast & sometimes complicated it can be until recently.
> 
> ...


You are not weird. A woman's pleasure center can be an exciting mystery to a man who really wants to please his woman. As a husband, I learned that sexuality is much different to women than to men. Women who want what they want in bed should be willing to teach a man or show him what you need and want at that time of intimacy. If he really wants to please you he will submit to being a student. We don't know what women want. We must ask sometimes. A woman to me is like a guitar. If the right strings are played, it renders sweet music. The wrong strings struck is a sour not. Don't be timid in letting a man know if he is not hitting the right strings. Be kind when you show him the right chord to play. We men get real sensitive when we don't get it right. If you get him to initiate D/D, let him know how much you love it. You'll be in for a real good time. Let us know how it goes!!


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> Hello all! I’m new here.
> 
> Let me start out by saying I’m new to the idea of DD in marriage. Not so much D/s, however I had no idea how vast & sometimes complicated it can be until recently.
> 
> ...


He doesn't want to. It makes him uncomfortable. Respect that and find something you both can enjoy. Think of how violated you would feel if you were uncomfortable doing something sexual and he kept trying to persuade you when you have made it clear you do not want to. Drop it and find something else the both of you can get pleasure out of.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

You don't need to be spanked - just start calling him daddy.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Hitting a person to discipline them is abuse. It's also against the law and he could be arrested. If you ever divorced it could be used against him and he could even end up in jail. 

It's one thing in sex if that is what you both like, but to hit you if you/he think you have 'misbehaved' is not the way to go. 

My strong advise it to get into some good counselling/therapy and find the roots of why you want to be abused in this way. Maybe it's connected to your childhood? I would also suggest that you stop looking on the domestic discipline website and feeding these ideas?

To encourage your husband to abuse you is going against all that society hopes for. Wife beaters are thought really badly of and yet you want him to become one??? No wonder he is disturbed by this.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Slowhand said:


> You are not weird. A woman's pleasure center can be an exciting mystery to a man who really wants to please his woman. As a husband, I learned that sexuality is much different to women than to men. Women who want what they want in bed should be willing to teach a man or show him what you need and want at that time of intimacy. If he really wants to please you he will submit to being a student. We don't know what women want. We must ask sometimes. A woman to me is like a guitar. If the right strings are played, it renders sweet music. The wrong strings struck is a sour not. Don't be timid in letting a man know if he is not hitting the right strings. Be kind when you show him the right chord to play. We men get real sensitive when we don't get it right. If you get him to initiate D/D, let him know how much you love it. You'll be in for a real good time. Let us know how it goes!!


She isn't talking about what happens in sex but her husband's meeting out violent discipline if she does something wrong. Like some would with a child.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Silkbun said:


> Hello all! I’m new here.
> 
> Let me start out by saying I’m new to the idea of DD in marriage. Not so much D/s, however I had no idea how vast & sometimes complicated it can be until recently.
> 
> ...


Anyone who has been practicing BDSM for a significant amount of time will tell you that the #1 rule is *Respect Boundaries. *Start practicing this rule before you move to practicing Domestic Discipline or any other kink.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Slowhand said:


> You are not weird. A woman's pleasure center can be an exciting mystery to a man who really wants to please his woman. As a husband, I learned that sexuality is much different to women than to men. Women who want what they want in bed should be willing to teach a man or show him what you need and want at that time of intimacy. If he really wants to please you he will submit to being a student. We don't know what women want. We must ask sometimes. A woman to me is like a guitar. If the right strings are played, it renders sweet music. The wrong strings struck is a sour not. Don't be timid in letting a man know if he is not hitting the right strings. Be kind when you show him the right chord to play. We men get real sensitive when we don't get it right. If you get him to initiate D/D, let him know how much you love it. You'll be in for a real good time. Let us know how it goes!!




Thank you for the advice. I was able to be open and talk to him about it tonight. It actually went quite well and he let me explain to him what DD in a D/s dynamic is used for, why, how it benefits both of us, some possible boundaries, etc. 

I was surprised with how well he warmed up to the idea once he understood it in a purer light. He agreed he will research it and make a plan for us (probably using a journal) in the coming weeks. 

I’m a bit nervous now that I’ve given my husband the reigns on this new chapter in our relationship, but it also feels good. I have hope that using DD in our relationship will help me to become the submissive wife I need to be.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Hitting a person to discipline them is abuse. It's also against the law and he could be arrested. If you ever divorced it could be used against him and he could even end up in jail.
> 
> It's one thing in sex if that is what you both like, but to hit you if you/he think you have 'misbehaved' is not the way to go.
> 
> ...



Sorry you don’t understand, but please don’t impose your own worries and assumptions on me or my marriage. DD isn’t for everyone. There are MANY success stories with DD helping Christian dom/sub relationships. Next time I’ll post on a forum with respectful & understanding members.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Lila said:


> Anyone who has been practicing BDSM for a significant amount of time will tell you that the #1 rule is *Respect Boundaries. *Start practicing this rule before you move to practicing Domestic Discipline or any other kink.



My husband and I have a very honest relationship. We communicate with each other very well and he’s wonderful at respecting me and my boundaries. I struggle sometimes to respect him, but it’s usually because of my own insecurities. Personally this isn’t a link for me. I’ve done a lot of research on this topic & I feel it’s what our relationship needs. Ty!


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Silkbun said:


> My husband and I have a very honest relationship. We communicate with each other very well and he’s wonderful at respecting me and my boundaries.* I struggle sometimes to respect him*, but it’s usually because of my own insecurities. Personally this isn’t a link for me. I’ve done a lot of research on this topic & I feel it’s what our relationship needs. Ty!


Before you even think about DD maybe you need to work on submission to your husband because it sounds like you're topping from the bottom.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Lila said:


> Before you even think about DD maybe you need to work on submission to your husband because it sounds like you're topping from the bottom.



.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Silkbun said:


> Again, assuming. I said nothing about wanting to force my husband into doing something he doesn’t feel comfortable with. I’m his wife and it’s within my rights to suggest things to him. Trying to control him, that’s a different story and something I absolutely do not want to do. There is nothing wrong with telling my husband about a marriage dynamic I feel could help us, and there’s nothing wrong with suggesting he research it. Final decision is up to him.
> 
> Go look up “My Wife Asked Me to Spank Her” in the search bar on TAM. Read through the information given from people who actually understand DD & stop making assumptions for things you clearly don’t understand.


I'm not so sure why you got so upset about my comment. You were the one who said you have trouble submitting to your husband and fell like the discipline will help you be more submissive. I only suggested you start with submitting and then work on domestic discipline. 

I find it most interesting that you admit to being a "noob" but when someone gives you suggestions based on possibly their background and knowledge you lash out with "you clearly don't understand the lifestyle". Good luck to you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> She isn't talking about what happens in sex but her husband's meeting out violent discipline if she does something wrong. Like some would with a child.


How is spanking that azz any different if it is what she wants?...it isn't. Some get very sexually turned on and act up to get spanked. She is not talking him slapping the **** out of her or beating her. If you want to call one wanted action abuse, then the other during sex has to be labeled abuse also.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Lila said:


> I'm not so sure why you got so upset about my comment. You were the one who said you have trouble submitting to your husband and fell like the discipline will help you be more submissive. I only suggested you start with submitting and then work on domestic discipline.
> 
> I find it most interesting that you admit to being a "noob" but when someone gives you suggestions based on possibly their background and knowledge you lash out with "you clearly don't understand the lifestyle". Good luck to you.



I Did I confuse you with the other person who said I need therapy and that I’m asking my husband to abuse me? I see I did. I apologize for the confusion and appreciate your advice. There were two people who said some things that really irritated/frustrated me and I couldn’t see their messages.

Clearly I’m a noob to technology too 😂


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Perhaps you can clarify if you want DD for the sexual side of your marriage or for the dom/sub dynamic?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Silkbun said:


> Sorry you don’t understand, but please don’t impose your own worries and assumptions on me or my marriage. DD isn’t for everyone. There are MANY success stories with DD helping Christian dom/sub relationships. Next time I’ll post on a forum with respectful & understanding members.


You weren't talking to me, but YOU are the one who came to an open forum. Anyone can post their thoughts in response to you as long as they don't violate forum rules. Now you are _playing the victim_ because you didn't like someone's thoughts "next time I'll post on a forum with respectful and understanding members". Do you always react this way when someone doesn't share your own particular viewpoint? Might want to work on that.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Livvie said:


> You weren't talking to me, but YOU are the one who came to an open forum. Anyone can post their thoughts in response to you as long as they don't violate forum rules. Now you are _playing the victim_ because you didn't like someone's thoughts "next time I'll post on a forum with respectful and understanding members". Do you always react this way when someone doesn't share your own particular viewpoint? Might want to work on that.



Actually I was talking to Diana7. It’s not that I have a problem with my viewpoint being challenged. I have a problem when someone is being extremely judgmental about things they don’t understand and haven’t researched, then trying to tell me I need therapy and that I’m asking my husband to “abuse me”. That is grotesque to suggest such a thing, and I’ll reply however I want to someone who chooses to speak to me that way. It’s an open forum, right?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

You aren't the first woman here who has engaged in a dom/sub marriage. If you can provide your motivations, we might be able to steer you toward some helpful sources.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Silkbun said:


> Actually I was talking to Diana7. It’s not that I have a problem with my viewpoint being challenged. I have a problem when someone is being extremely judgmental about things they don’t understand and haven’t researched, then trying to tell me I need therapy and that I’m asking my husband to “abuse me”. That is grotesque to suggest such a thing, and I’ll reply however I want to someone who chooses to speak to me that way. It’s an open forum, right?


Well, in her defense, your opening post was VERY different than what you edited it to now. You made it sound much more like YOU are pushing your husband to do something he told you flat out that he wasn't comfortable with (he called you "weird")...THAT could have been what @Diana7 was responding to.

Also, you are free to respond any way that you want to any poster, of course...but this is YOUR thread where you came looking for advice, so you should be aware that if you respond so negatively to any challenging replies (however judgemental YOU think they are), most people on here won't be willing to spend time typing a reply to you.

And lastly, I mean this very seriously...I think you should remember what you wrote in your first post (which I am taking to be much more honest about how your husband feels about being the one to administer this "domestic discipline" you say you need than what you've changed it into), and consider the following...

Can you see how you have posted that you struggle with submitting to him, so you've decided that DD is the solution...but when your husband opposed this method strongly, you had a little temper-fit and desperately tried to change his mind...which makes this another example of how unwilling you are to respect HIS boundaries and standards and actually submit??

I don't really believe that the threat of DD for you is going to be enough to curb your apparent insistence to get your own way alot of the time, if you feel the need to be physically hurt as a motivator to respect and submit to your husband. You seem to be smart enough to figure out ways to get around accepting the boundaries that you encounter...why will this be any different? 

Were you spanked as a child? I'm guessing you were, so if I'm right I am wondering why you think you developed such a strong will in spite of that threat from your parents? Also, did it make you obedient to them, or did it just make you deceptive and tricky? 

If you are insistent about disregarding your husband's concerns with physical discipline for your kids and now you (per your original post), then you are still taking the control from him and demanding that things be done YOUR way. That shows a lack of respect that DD will not be able to correct. Fear and pain coupled with no respect creates resentment, not submission. So if you really want to go this route, you need to work on your attitude more, and practice TRUE submission, or else adding physical discipline will just be another source of frustration for your ultimate goal of changing your attitude in your marriage.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Silkbun said:


> Sorry you don’t understand, but please don’t impose your own worries and assumptions on me or my marriage. DD isn’t for everyone. There are MANY success stories with DD helping Christian dom/sub relationships. Next time I’ll post on a forum with respectful & understanding members.


I am in a Christian Marriage. Please show me Biblically where men are told to hit/beat/slap their wives. 
Please show me where God says that husband's can abuse their wives. 
I would think you need prayer/ ministry to heal those needs you have to be violently abused because I suspect it's due to something in you having been damaged and skewed.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Well, in her defense, your opening post was VERY different than what you edited it to now. You made it sound much more like YOU are pushing your husband to do something he told you flat out that he wasn't comfortable with (he called you "weird")...THAT could have been what @Diana7 was responding to.
> 
> Also, you are free to respond any way that you want to any poster, of course...but this is YOUR thread where you came looking for advice, so you should be aware that if you respond so negatively to any challenging replies (however judgemental YOU think they are), most people on here won't be willing to spend time typing a reply to you.
> 
> ...


Wow, she completely changed her story, didn't she? I'm with you. I think the original was much closer to the truth. This is not going to end well for them.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> How is spanking that azz any different if it is what she wants?...it isn't. Some get very sexually turned on and act up to get spanked. She is not talking him slapping the **** out of her or beating her. If you want to call one wanted action abuse, then the other during sex has to be labeled abuse also.


So if your wife does something you don't like it's ok to hit her or beat her? That's what the op wants.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

AndStilliRise said:


> Wow, she completely changed her story, didn't she? I'm with you. I think the original was much closer to the truth. This is not going to end well for them.


Yes it's totally different. I replied to her original post.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Yes it's totally different. I replied to her original post.


I saw that. I did too. Good thing we can see the original with our replies.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The OP had started another thread and it looks like it was combined with this one.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> REDACTED
> 
> bite it, Karen.


He called it "weird and abusive." You know, the exact words you used in the original post you tried to scrub. But wait, that's not the same as "oppose it strongly." I don't know what kind of church you go to, but your forceful attitude in general and about deviant sex acts with your husband that he doesn't want to be a part of is not in any type of Christianity I have ever heard of.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> L
> 
> 
> REDACTED


Because name calling is, oh, so Christian. Noted.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> REDACTED


Is this how angry and defensive you get when your husband disagrees with you too? Yikes.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Silkbun said:


> It hardly matters which you replied to. You’re a shaming judgmental Karen. My husband read through what I originally posted (which was my FIRST experience with bringing DD up to him), and he agrees with me that it did not warrant your nasty comments.
> 
> 
> Go back to your tiny box, Karen.


You clearly didn't like my advise to actually see what God says about marriage, which btw isn't how you want it to be. No point in doing research unless it's research into what God says.
Anyone who wants to be abused needs help. It's not Biblical at all. It shows you are damaged in some way. Oh and btw I didn't say you need therapy rather prayer and ministry.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> You clearly didn't like my advise to actually see what God says about marriage, which btw isn't how you want it to be.


She clearly doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way and people aren't falling all over themselves at how 'enlightened' she is. Seems par for the course judging from how she treated her husband over his disdain for abusing his wife. The other question is, what has she been watching or doing that suddenly makes this such a "NEED?" Seems there's a lot more going on here than just spicing up the sex life. Husband needs to put his foot down or run. This will be the beginning of the end


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> You clearly didn't like my advise to actually see what God says about marriage, which btw isn't how you want it to be.


You clearly haven’t been reading your Bible clearly enough. Are you wearing a blindfold?


“In the Old Testament, we read in Deuteronomy 8:5 that God said he chastened his wife, the nation of Israel, “as a man chasteneth his son”. And God tells parents to use corporal punishment on their children in Proverbs 19:18 & Proverbs 23:13. 

In the New Testament, we read in Ephesians 5:25 that husbands are to love their wives “even as Christ also loved the church” and Christ says of his churches in Revelation 3:19 “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”.

The case could not be more clear that the practice of a man using corporal punishment on his wife, also known as wife-spanking or domestic discipline, very much aligns with the teachings of the Bible. A man using corporal punishment on his wife images God’s behavior as a husband to his wife, the people of God.”

-Biblicalgenderroles.com

Again, where were the genuinely curious questions before the personal attacks, assumptions, and teaming up began?

Next time, when you’re presented with a lifestyle dynamic that you don’t understand or don’t agree with, start with loving questions and maybe next time whoever it is will respond openly and kindly to you.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> She clearly doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way and people aren't falling all over themselves at how 'enlightened' she is. Seems par for the course judging from how she treated her husband over his disdain for abusing his wife. The other question is, what has she been watching or doing that suddenly makes this such a "NEED?" Seems there's a lot more going on here than just spicing up the sex life. Husband needs to put his foot down or run. This will be the beginning of the end


Next time, when you’re presented with a lifestyle dynamic that you don’t understand or don’t agree with, start with loving questions and maybe next time whoever it is will respond openly and kindly to you.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> She clearly doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way and people aren't falling all over themselves at how 'enlightened' she is. Seems par for the course judging from how she treated her husband over his disdain for abusing his wife. The other question is, what has she been watching or doing that suddenly makes this such a "NEED?" Seems there's a lot more going on here than just spicing up the sex life. Husband needs to put his foot down or run. This will be the beginning of the end


Next time, when you’re presented with a lifestyle dynamic that you don’t understand or don’t agree with, start with loving questions and maybe next time whoever it is will respond openly and kindly to you. Get a life please.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

_*MODERATOR NOTE:-*_ @Silkbun doubted if calling someone a "Karen" was against forum rules. It most certainly is.









Posting Guidelines - Forum Rules (2022)


Thank you for visiting Talk About Marriage. Talk About Marriage is a forum to discuss marriage and relationships. Here, we interpret the word "marriage" loosely, recognizing that many different people from different cultures view marriage differently. Please observe our posting guidelines...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com




_1. Treat others on the forum with dignity and respect. Personal attacks, name calling, hate speech, racist or sexist statements or attacks, sexual harassment, explicit sexual comments, promoting violence, will not be tolerated. The term “Personal” here extends to other TAM posters, their spouse, family members, and others might come up in discussion in their posts._

It's actually the first rule of TAM.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

MattMatt said:


> _*MODERATOR NOTE:-*_ @Silkbun doubted if calling someone a "Karen" was against forum rules. It most certainly is.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Aw great thanks Matt! I’m sure they can remove if they’d like to


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Hey, I have a sister named Karen!!!

What an epic meltdown...on the plus side, I have come around to the idea of her husband spanking her until she submits!


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> You clearly haven’t been reading your Bible clearly enough. Are you wearing a blindfold?
> 
> 
> “In the Old Testament, we read in Deuteronomy 8:5 that God said he chastened his wife, the nation of Israel, “as a man chasteneth his son”. And God tells parents to use corporal punishment on their children in Proverbs 19:18 & Proverbs 23:13.
> ...


Wow. You have just presented and twisted the verses that abusers use to justify victimizing their families. I fear for your children. I hope your husband wises up before it's too late. This is incredibly sick.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

LisaDiane said:


> Hey, I have a sister named Karen!!!
> 
> What an epic meltdown...on the plus side, I have come around to the idea of her husband spanking her until she submits!


You clearly haven’t been reading your Bible clearly enough. Are you wearing a blindfold?


“In the Old Testament, we read in Deuteronomy 8:5 that God said he chastened his wife, the nation of Israel, “as a man chasteneth his son”. And God tells parents to use corporal punishment on their children in Proverbs 19:18 & Proverbs 23:13. 

In the New Testament, we read in Ephesians 5:25 that husbands are to love their wives “even as Christ also loved the church” and Christ says of his churches in Revelation 3:19 “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”.

The case could not be more clear that the practice of a man using corporal punishment on his wife, also known as wife-spanking or domestic discipline, very much aligns with the teachings of the Bible. A man using corporal punishment on his wife images God’s behavior as a husband to his wife, the people of God.”

-Biblicalgenderroles.com

Again, where were the genuinely curious questions before the personal attacks, assumptions, and teaming up began?

Next time, when you’re presented with a lifestyle dynamic that you don’t understand or don’t agree with, start with loving questions and maybe next time whoever it is will respond openly and kindly to you.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> Wow. You have just presented and twisted the verses that abusers use to justify victimize their families. I fear for your children. I hope your husband wises up before it's too late. This is incredibly sick.


Lady, if you didn’t agree with the post then you should’ve moved on. You have an opinion, stop acting like it’s a fact. How arrogant of you.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Silkbun said:


> You clearly haven’t been reading your Bible clearly enough. Are you wearing a blindfold?
> 
> 
> “In the Old Testament, we read in Deuteronomy 8:5 that God said he chastened his wife, the nation of Israel, “as a man chasteneth his son”. And God tells parents to use corporal punishment on their children in Proverbs 19:18 & Proverbs 23:13.
> ...


No where are husband's told to use violent punishment on their wives and none of the verses you quoted said that in anyway. 
I have studied marriage in the Bible and being abusive to your spouse is not there. It's also illegal. 
You are also a very rude person. 

If you must be beaten to feel ok about yourself then go ahead, but don't pretend it's in anyway what God wants. Your husband would be disobeying God if he did that.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> You clearly haven’t been reading your Bible clearly enough. Are you wearing a blindfold?
> 
> 
> “In the Old Testament, we read in Deuteronomy 8:5 that God said he chastened his wife, the nation of Israel, “as a man chasteneth his son”. And God tells parents to use corporal punishment on their children in Proverbs 19:18 & Proverbs 23:13.
> ...


How many times are you going to repeat the same thing you already posted?


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

LisaDiane said:


> Hey, I have a sister named Karen!!!
> 
> What an epic meltdown...on the plus side, I have come around to the idea of her husband spanking her until she submits!


All I see is arrogance here. How on earth can YOU say you’re acting like a Christian either? If you didn’t agree with the post, you should’ve moved on. It seems like you clearly have nothing better to do with your evening.

FYI, my husband and I are laying down laughing at you guys.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> No where are husband's told to use violent punishment on their wives and none of the verses you quoted said that in anyway.
> I have studied marriage in the Bible and being abusive to your spouse is not there. It's also illegal.
> You are also a very rude person.
> 
> If you must be beaten to feel ok about yourself then go ahead, but don't pretend it's in anyway what God wants. Your husband would be disobeying God if he did that.


I find it utterly disgusting that you view DD as “abusive”. You still haven’t asked one single curious question. You’re clearly just here to act arrogant, rude, and to shame others.

and if I were you, I wouldn’t speak for God. Maybe try and quote some Bible verses next time?


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> Lady, if you didn’t agree with the post then you should’ve moved on. You have an opinion, stop acting like it’s a fact. How arrogant of you.


It's a fact that you are using the same Biblical argument that abusers use to justify beating their wives and children. It's a fact that you are twisting the words in the Bible to fit your own sick desires. It's my opinion (not only mine) that you are, or have been, involved in something that has greatly damaged you. It's my opinion (and obviously not only mine) that you need deep therapy. It's my opinion that if your husband has not seen the red flags and chosen to do something about it already, it will happen soon enough, hopefully not when it's too late.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Silkbun said:


> Next time, when you’re presented with a lifestyle dynamic that you don’t understand or don’t agree with, start with loving questions and maybe next time whoever it is will respond openly and kindly to you. Get a life please.


Just saying...people on an anonymous forum with strangers they don't know don't usually ask "loving" questions.

That you would suggest that, and then follow it up with the negative slam against that poster telling her to "GET A LIFE PLEASE" is incredibly hypocritical.

Omg made me laugh.


----------



## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> It's a fact that you are using the same Biblical argument that abusers use to justify beating their wives and children. It's a fact that you are twisting the words in the Bible to fit your own sick desires. It's my opinion (not only mine) that you are, or have been, involved in something that has greatly damaged you. It's my opinion (and obviously not only mine) that you need deep therapy. It's my opinion that if your husband has not seen the red flags and chosen to do something about it already, it will happen soon enough, hopefully not when it's too late.


How am I personally twisting the Bible’s words here? I took that snippet from a website in which this is a Pastors case for using DD in marriage. I’m a student here, learning about something new. 

And again, no loving questions about this dynamic from you, just assumptions & rudeness. I’d be ashamed to speak to someone in this way to anyone who knows more about a topic than I do.

I wouldn’t dare attempt to shame a couple, I’d simply ask kind & curious questions to better understand their mindset.


----------



## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Just saying...people on an anonymous forum with strangers they don't know don't usually ask "loving" questions.
> 
> That you would suggest that, and then follow it up with the negative slam against that poster telling her to "GET A LIFE PLEASE" is incredibly hypocritical.
> 
> Omg made me laugh.


You have a log in your eye lady. I hope you realize your effort & time spent to belittle and shame me, and my husband, has had no lasting effects.


My husband and I are happy, healthy, and successful. How are you? Seems you’re a bit angry and seem to enjoy ridiculing others for their opinions while simultaneously acting as if your opinions are FACT.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> How am I personally twisting the Bible’s words here? I took that snippet from a website in which this is a Pastors case for using DD in marriage. I’m a student here, learning about something new.
> 
> And again, no loving questions about this dynamic from you, just assumptions & rudeness. I’d be ashamed to speak to someone in this way to anyone who knows more about a topic than I do.
> 
> I wouldn’t dare attempt to shame a couple, I’d simply ask kind & curious questions to better understand their mindset.


He's not a pastor. He has zero Biblical or theological training. He didn't even finish college. He's just some guy that memorized a bunch of verses and uses them to fit his own personal agenda, which happens to be misogynistic and patriarchal, steeped in complimentarianism and abuse.

"Many have asked what my educational background is. I attended and graduated from a Protestant Christian high school. I also have some college training as well as certifications in various technical arenas. I have taught Sunday school classes in couple difference churches over the years.
While I do not have a degree in theology I have studied the Scriptures in high school and for most of my adult life(so about 25 years). I have read through the entire Bible several times and I have memorized many portions of the Scripture. When I was in college I studied the Greek and Hebrew languages but I do not claim to be a scholar in these areas."









About Me


As a young man I was passionate about four areas of study – theology, history, human nature and computers. My day job working in IT lets me exercise my love of technology and this site …




biblicalgenderroles.com


----------



## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

Is the husband making the rules on his own or will both of you give input?

What’s going to happen the first time he spanks you and you don’t think you did anything wrong?

The contrast between the original post and the edited original post is pretty striking. It’s going to be interesting to see how this turns out for y’all.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Silkbun said:


> I find it utterly disgusting that you view DD as “abusive”. You still haven’t asked one single curious question. You’re clearly just here to act arrogant, rude, and to shame others.
> 
> and if I were you, I wouldn’t speak for God. Maybe try and quote some Bible verses next time?


I am still waiting for the verses showing us how men should use violence against their wives. You won't find any because it's not there. You are desperately trying to justify something because it's what you want, but are not following God's teaching on marriage. 

Your whole attitude towards those trying to warn you is appalling. 

Any truly godly man is never going to physically abuse his wife in this way. He would know it's a) not what God says or wants and b) not what is right and c) is against the law and he could be arrested.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

This pastor is probably a wife beater/ abuser trying to justify his violence with the Bible. He never will. Its not there. It's amazing what people will try and justify.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I wish you good luck OP. I’m sure you’ll be good and won’t require any beatings!


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> How am I personally twisting the Bible’s words here? I took that snippet from a website in which this is a Pastors case for using DD in marriage. I’m a student here, learning about something new.
> 
> And again, no loving questions about this dynamic from you, just assumptions & rudeness. I’d be ashamed to speak to someone in this way to anyone who knows more about a topic than I do.
> 
> I wouldn’t dare attempt to shame a couple, I’d simply ask kind & curious questions to better understand their mindset.


He's a verifiable woman hater. Doesn't even believe women should have the right to vote. 









What Is The Manosphere?


The Manosphere is comprised of several groups that share one thing in common. They all believe the rights of men in America and other western countries have been infringed upon for at least several…




biblicalgenderroles.com





The Manosphere is comprised of several groups that share one thing in common. They all believe the rights of men in America and other western countries have been infringed upon for at least several decades and others for more than a century. Also, the vast majority of Manosphere groups believe that feminism is a problematic ideology that is eating away at the core of society and destroying Western civilization... 

... The first issue which separates manosphere groups is how far back was feminism wrong? Was it from its very origins in the mid-19th century when women’s groups fought for more rights for in divorce and property rights for women? Was it when women were granted the right to vote in 1920? Or was it just from the advent of second wave feminism in the 1960s where feminism dropped the equivalent of a societal nuclear bomb on traditional gender roles and sexual morality and it became a misandrist movement that openly declared war on men?... 


... In other words, the masculine human nature is a closer representation of God’s nature than the feminine human nature...


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> This pastor is probably a wife beater/ abuser trying to justify his violence with the Bible. He never will. Its not there.


Not even a pastor. Just a woman hater. Check out the quotes I pulled from the page she cited.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I mean women vote pretty crappy as a group. My wife excluded but overall it’s not good.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> He's not a pastor. He has zero Biblical or theological training. He didn't even finish college. He's just some guy that memorized a bunch of verses and uses them to fit his own personal agenda, which happens to be misogynistic and patriarchal, steeped in complimentarianism and abuse.
> 
> "Many have asked what my educational background is. I attended and graduated from a Protestant Christian high school. I also have some college training as well as certifications in various technical arenas. I have taught Sunday school classes in couple difference churches over the years.
> While I do not have a degree in theology I have studied the Scriptures in high school and for most of my adult life(so about 25 years). I have read through the entire Bible several times and I have memorized many portions of the Scripture. When I was in college I studied the Greek and Hebrew languages but I do not claim to be a scholar in these areas."
> ...


I have so many research articles and forums saved, I must’ve gotten it confused with another. You know, since I ACTUALLY did the research.


https://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/files/2013/06/CDD.pdf

If you ladies are curious enough to spend your time belittling, shaming me, and assuming things about DD, maybe you should educate yourselves on the topic first. I’ve added a link above. 

You all have called DD “abusive”, have called consensual spanking “beating”, have said I’m having a “melt down”, have told me I need “therapy”, have said my husband needs to “wise up” & “run”, and have even said I must “need a spanking”. All over a topic none of you have spent time to research. 

In my posts, I clearly was asking for advice from those who are understanding and versed in this topic & you’ve all ruined this thread. 

I’m really quite unbothered, but you’re all so immensely annoying and rude. 

If I were you, I’d be concerned about how judgmental I’m being of others, not someone else’s private choices and opinions.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> I mean women vote pretty crappy as a group. My wife excluded but overall it’s not good.


I vote the same as my husband 😉


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> Not even a pastor. Just a woman hater. Check out the quotes I pulled from the page she cited.


You must be a low key feminist. Lol.


https://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/files/2013/06/CDD.pdf

If you ladies are curious enough to spend your time belittling, shaming me, and assuming things about DD, maybe you should educate yourselves on the topic first. I’ve added a link above. 

You all have called DD “abusive”, have called consensual spanking “beating”, have said I’m having a “melt down”, have told me I need “therapy”, have said my husband needs to “wise up” & “run”, and have even said I must “need a spanking”. All over a topic none of you have spent time to research. 

In my posts, I clearly was asking for advice from those who are understanding and versed in this topic & you’ve all ruined this thread. 

I’m really quite unbothered, but you’re all so immensely annoying and rude. 

If I were you, I’d be concerned about how judgmental I’m being to others, not someone else’s private life.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I vote the same as my husband 😉


My wife generally does (I think). For local elections I do all the research and TL;DR her on what I found but I don’t watch her fill in the bubbles.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I vote the same as my husband


I see what you did there. I vote the same as your husband too.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Silkbun said:


> I have so many research articles and forums saved, I must’ve gotten it confused with another. You know, since I ACTUALLY did the research.
> 
> 
> https://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/files/2013/06/CDD.pdf
> ...


The best place for a Christian to learn about what God teaches on marriage is of course the Bible. If anything doesn't confirm what is said in the Bible then we should realise it's not of Him. 
To believe what one abuser says over God is asking for trouble. 
So you follow God or what this person says. It's your choice. I hope your husband follows what God says.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> My mistake on thinking this man is a pastor, I have tons of articles saved that I’m taking notes on. It’s a lot to sort through so I was confused.
> 
> Anyway, I have a much more radical opinion than you, OBVIOUSLY. Have your own opinion but don’t tell me mine is wrong, and please don’t act like your opinion is fact.
> 
> ...


Wow, third time for that cut and paste.


Also, it's not private when you blab it all over a public message board.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> Wow, third time for that cut and paste.


I don’t have time to waste typing specific comments to each of you. Why would I waste my time doing that? This is how I will get my point across. You’re all rude & arrogant anyway. Lol.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Silkbun said:


> You have a log in your eye lady. I hope you realize your effort & time spent to belittle and shame me, and my husband, has had no lasting effects.
> 
> 
> My husband and I are happy, healthy, and successful. How are you? Seems you’re a bit angry and seem to enjoy ridiculing others for their opinions while simultaneously acting as if your opinions are FACT.


Uh what? This doesn't even make sense.

I was pointing out that you admonishing several posters for not asking "loving questions" was hypocritical considering the negative name calling you have been dishing out. 

Pointing that out isn't an opinion, it is a fact. Fact: you said people should ask you loving questions and in the same post told someone to get a life. 

_I haven't actually commented on your husband, your relationship, your situation, or the topic of your thread._ Yeah, read this sentence again 

Get your story straight, please.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Silkbun said:


> I’m really quite unbothered, but you’re all so immensely annoying and rude.


So all these posts you wrote were you being UNbothered...??


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> The best place for a Christian to learn about what God teaches on marriage is of course the Bible. If anything doesn't confirm what is said in the Bible then we should realise it's not of Him.
> To believe what one abuser says over God is asking for trouble.
> So you follow God or what this person says. It's your choice. I hope your husband follows what God says.


How arrogant are you? Oh my word lol! Why would you assume I must not be reading my Bible to discover this information on my own? 

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with incorporating other documents into my study written from a biblical view, and then cross examining them with the Bible. 

So unbelievably arrogant. Are you sure you aren’t a feminist?¿


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> How arrogant are you? Oh my word lol! Why would you assume I must not be reading my Bible to discover this information on my own?
> 
> There’s absolutely nothing wrong with incorporating other documents into my study written from a biblical view, and then cross examining them with the Bible.
> 
> So unbelievably arrogant. Are you sure you aren’t a feminist?¿


You act like being a feminist is a bad thing.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Ignorance and arrogance we need @Bibi1031 here to sort this out!


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Uh what? This doesn't even make sense.
> 
> I was pointing out that you admonishing several posters for not asking "loving questions" was hypocritical considering the negative name calling you have been dishing out.
> 
> ...



I said that because one of you ladies, or two, who even knows, repeatedly said how rude I’ve been when in fact, none of us have been kind. So yes, take the log out of your own eye. 

The other thing is, you ladies invaded MY post. Not the other way around. So yes, I was expecting kind, or at least neutral questions from you ladies since you ladies aren’t versed on this topic. 

If that wasn’t your intention(clearly wasn’t) why else are you here? Hmm? 

Each of you are agreeing with each other while attacking me like some strange feminists. I will assume you agree with them until you say you do not. 

Also, I hardly have time to keep up with all of your belittling arrogant comments. Again, I’ll assume you agree with them since you have not stated otherwise.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> You act like being a feminist is a bad thing.



It is! Case closed. I see what’s going on here lol.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> It is! Case closed. I see what’s going on here lol.


Do you drive a car? Have you ever voted? Had a job? Talked to men that aren't your husband (including on internet message boards)? Used birth control? Worn pants? Thank a feminist.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

LisaDiane said:


> So all these posts you wrote were you being UNbothered...??



Are YOU unbothered? I’m unbothered in the sense that none of your rude comments will have a lasting effect on my psyche. So again, you’re just wasting your time. 

And anyway, why are you even here? Why are you even still commenting? You invaded my post, not the other way around and clearly you didn’t come here to give advice on DD or d/s which was the point of this post.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> Do you drive a car? Have you ever voted? Had a job? Talked to men that aren't your husband (including on internet message boards)? Used birth control? Worn pants? Thank a feminist.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

You haven't bothered to answer the questions asked in good faith. Have you tried the fetlife forum?


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## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

If I posted in a forum where I felt as if no one understood my issue, I think I would move on to another forum rather than stay and bicker with strangers. Perhaps there are forums on reddit that understand the OP's situation? (I admit I don't.)


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

AndStilliRise said:


> Do you drive a car? Have you ever voted? Had a job? Talked to men that aren't your husband (including on internet message boards)? Used birth control? Worn pants? Thank a feminist.



Again, I specifically said I have a much more radical view than you. I believe birth control is wrong, I prefer dresses & skirts, I hardly have time to go out considering how busy I am homeschooling my child & completing my wifely duties so I don’t care much about driving, I don’t care much for voting, and I prefer (SHOCKER) staying in my feminine role. I will not thank feminists. Their beliefs are snd have been absolutely detrimental to the nuclear family. 

I’m not going to agree with you, so why are you even here?


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Chaotic said:


> If I posted in a forum where I felt as if no one understood my issue, I think I would move on to another forum rather than stay and bicker with strangers. Perhaps there are forums on reddit that understand the OP's situation? (I admit I don't.)



I’m just here, standing my ground because these ladies are abhorrent. 

My husband and I have already found a welcoming online group, but honestly at first I thought TAM was a safe space too. I saw a post from 2016 in which many people were apart of that discussion, and were speaking positively about DD and d/s. As well as educating each other and we’re all quite considerate of each other. 

I’ve realized people here are not as kind as some of the older members were.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Deepsouthdude said:


> Is the husband making the rules on his own or will both of you give input?
> 
> What’s going to happen the first time he spanks you and you don’t think you did anything wrong?
> 
> The contrast between the original post and the edited original post is pretty striking. It’s going to be interesting to see how this turns out for y’all.



We have our Bibles, tons of biblically based research articles, a 54 page packet outlining Christian DD in marriage, and some great e books. We will be writing a “contact” together that includes safe words, rules that we both agree on, and expectations. 

DD is entirely consensual. We have a very trusting marriage, especially when it comes to the physical, and so it’s a great foundation to start from. 

The first post was after I initially spoke to my husband about DD and I was emotional because opening up to him about a subject like this is scary. His initial reaction was “woah you’re weird”, because he knew nothing of the subject yet. 

My second, entirely different, post was written after my husband and I thought things through in separate rooms, and after we had an extremely long talk and “research session” in which my husband learned what Christian DD is. He instructed me to do some more research for him and send it his way, as well as agreeing that this may be something I need, and we need, for our marriage to come into the D/s dynamic we’ve been working towards. 

I apologize for the confusion between the posts but honestly I thought I added more background in the second post than the last because the first one was basically just my hurt emotions overflowing everywhere. 

I didn’t expect people to be so aggressively against CDD and D/s here due to my first interaction with this website which was reading a post called “My Wife Asked Me To Spank Her”. 

So many members here on TAM responded positively that I thought this was a place I could be open and receive advice. I have since realized this is not the community for me, and my husband and I have found another online community that better fits us.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> So if your wife does something you don't like it's ok to hit her or beat her? That's what the op wants.


Big difference between putting her over my knee and spanking that ass then beating someone.


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## Silkbun (Oct 9, 2021)

Divinely Favored said:


> Big difference between putting her over my knee and spanking that ass then beating someone.



Right? Why does everyone refer to spanking as “beating”? Or “abuse”? It’s consensual. With that mindset, if any of the people on this thread spank their children they're “beating” their children.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> I am in a Christian Marriage. Please show me Biblically where men are told to hit/beat/slap their wives.
> Please show me where God says that husband's can abuse their wives.
> I would think you need prayer/ ministry to heal those needs you have to be violently abused because I suspect it's due to something in you having been damaged and skewed.


Spanking is not violently abusing someone. Very big difference. I was spanked as a child....my wife was violently abused...has the facial scars and a crooked tooth to go with it. Using that terminology to compare it to spanking, belittles the horiffic violent abuse some go through.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> Again, I specifically said I have a much more radical view than you. I believe birth control is wrong, I prefer dresses & skirts, I hardly have time to go out considering how busy I am homeschooling my child & completing my wifely duties so I don’t care much about driving, I don’t care much for voting, and I prefer (SHOCKER) staying in my feminine role. I will not thank feminists. Their beliefs are snd have been absolutely detrimental to the nuclear family.
> 
> I’m not going to agree with you, so why are you even here?


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> I’m just here, standing my ground because these ladies are abhorrent.
> 
> My husband and I have already found a welcoming online group, but honestly at first I thought TAM was a safe space too. I saw a post from 2016 in which many people were apart of that discussion, and were speaking positively about DD and d/s. As well as educating each other and we’re all quite considerate of each other.
> 
> I’ve realized people here are not as kind as some of the older members were.


2016...five years ago. Had to dig for that one, didn't ya.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)




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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Silkbun said:


> My husband wants to start making rules in a journal & begin implementing discipline in the coming weeks but he has asked me to point him towards some articles & experienced individuals to help.


I didn't read over this whole thread so I don't know if this has been mentioned or not. This line here makes me think maybe your hubby isn't the kind of guy who can really do this sort of thing. It takes a certain personality to be able to pull this stuff off and a guy that has to ask you how to go about it doesn't seem like the right guy. Just don't be too disappointed if he can't give you what you seem to want when it comes to this.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> Big difference between putting her over my knee and spanking that ass then beating someone.


What is the difference between spanking and hitting/ beating? If you hit your wife if you didn't like something she did would that be abuse? Would she be ok with you slapping her face or hitting her with a belt or cane if she disobeyed you? 

The real point is that it's not a Christian act to hit/beat your spouse if they dont measure up. It's actual bodily harm as the police call it in the UK. Against the law.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

AndStilliRise said:


> 2016...five years ago. Had to dig for that one, didn't ya.


Simple...you go to the search button and enter key words and there it is!


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> What is the difference between spanking and hitting/ beating? If you hit your wife if you didn't like something she did would that be abuse? Would she be ok with you slapping her face or hitting her with a belt or cane if she disobeyed you?
> 
> The real point is that it's not a Christian act to hit/beat your spouse if they dont measure up. It's actual bodily harm as the police call it in the UK. Against the law.


Spanking someone does not mean you are striking them in the face. Spanking is something use for correction. Cane...i did not grow up in Asia...first i heard about caning was that American juvenile delinquent in Asia that was vandalizing cars and was caned for it. Served him right.

Again...this is no different then those who engage in BDSM behavior or women who liked to be spanked during sex. If you consider DD abuse than the other has to be in your same book, as well as spanking a child...which is most definately Biblical.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Silkbun said:


> You must be a low key feminist. Lol.





Silkbun said:


> So unbelievably arrogant. Are you sure you aren’t a feminist?¿


You mentioned feminists a few times in your thread like it's a bad thing. I'm not sure you understand that feminism has nothing to do with BDSM. Some of the most independent, powerful, and staunchest feminists are sexual submissives who thrive on impact play. Some need it to get off. 





Silkbun said:


> Again, I specifically said I have a much more radical view than you. I believe birth control is wrong, I prefer dresses & skirts, I hardly have time to go out considering how busy I am homeschooling my child & completing my wifely duties so I don’t care much about driving, I don’t care much for voting, and I prefer (SHOCKER) staying in my feminine role. I will not thank feminists


{Slow clap}. Congratulations on your accomplishments but honestly, what does any of that have to do with your kink? 

For reference, I'm a feminist and [shocker] I also prefer to wear dresses, am super feminine, practice Christianity, and love, love, love good men. I also have a lucrative career, own a home with a yard that I clean and maintain (alone), own and drive my luxury car, and raise a child. I was also in a long term marriage (20+years) where division of labor was based on traditional roles. Again, being a feminist has nothing with the type of a relationship a couple chooses to pursue.

i bring this up because I think there are women who may be able to provide you with personal experience but your posts come off as insulting and lacking genuineness. 
Again, plenty of hard core feminists are into your kink... And they are highly successful at getting their needs met. You might want to hang up the whole "feminists don't do this" attitude. If this is a radical Christianity thing, then you'll be better served finding a forum that shares your religious convictions.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Silkbun said:


> Right? Why does everyone refer to spanking as “beating”? Or “abuse”? It’s consensual. With that mindset, if any of the people on this thread spank their children they're “beating” their children.


just to be technical, sexual abuse is, in many states, NOT condoned under law. i am not a lawyer, but i think the idea is that a person can not actually give permission to be assaulted under the law. There is a famous case in MA where a gay pair took the abuse thing too far, and the abuser ended up in jail for assault.

so consider that!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

i believe the Domestic Discipline kink comes in various forms. "1950's lifestyle" is one. 

i Loved those black stockings with the line going up the back...but i digress


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> Spanking someone does not mean you are striking them in the face. Spanking is something use for correction. Cane...i did not grow up in Asia...first i heard about caning was that American juvenile delinquent in Asia that was vandalizing cars and was caned for it. Served him right.
> 
> Again...this is no different then those who engage in BDSM behavior or women who liked to be spanked during sex. If you consider DD abuse than the other has to be in your same book, as well as spanking a child...which is most definately Biblical.


Hitting or beating can be done anywhere on the body. 
I don't think you answered my question about whether your wife would be ok with 
you abusing/hitting/spanking or beating her if she did something you considered wrong.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> just to be technical, sexual abuse is, in many states, NOT condoned under law. i am not a lawyer, but i think the idea is that a person can not actually give permission to be assaulted under the law. There is a famous case in MA where a gay pair took the abuse thing too far, and the abuser ended up in jail for assault.
> 
> so consider that!


That could easily happen. A couples marriage may get rocky or even end, and the one who was using violence may get accused of physical abuse even if the other spouse apparently asked for it. I mean how many policemen would believe a guy who claimed his wife asked to be abused if she wasn't submissive enough? It's so weird that he would never be believed.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Hitting or beating can be done anywhere on the body.
> I don't think you answered my question about whether your wife would be ok with
> you abusing/hitting/spanking or beating her if she did something you considered wrong.


She would be amused and stunned if i turned her over my knee and spanked her ass. She would also admit she probably deserved it. 

Beating/abusing are not even in the same ball park.


----------

