# i feel so alone, but i'm doing something about it



## hopefloats (Sep 25, 2010)

hello everyone...

just an update..I have an appointment with an attorney next week to get some answers, and to see what my next step is.

i stood up to my husband today.. it was by text but it felt so good. he is so angry... basically gave him information on our auto insurance... he had another accident today.. told him how it would affect our rates.. with his ticket, this accident our 22 year old ticket(s), plus having a 16 year old getting ready to get his license. He hung up on me..as he often does when he knows that I am stating fact... so I text him gave him the facts again, told him to make sure he acted like a beat pup in front of our oldest son and told him he needed to grow up. 

I know the beat pup statement sounded horrible, but that is what he does.. has to always make me look like the bad guy in front of others, and has me questioning myself. But not any more. I don't care if I am considered the bad guy... My boys will someday see the truth, and I only pray that they will understand.

As I have stayed with their father for all these years for their sake, I think it is time I start a new life for my self for the same reason so that I can be a better mom for them. 

oh my word.. i don't know where the braveness came from, but it sure felt good. 

Hope is done allowing him to play the mind games on me...


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## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

Congrats on standing up! Great job.

I'm sure your kids will be supportive. If he acts that way in front of them, they are probably rooting for you.

Have you looked up questions to ask your attorney? I had a library book called "what your divorce lawyer may not tell you", which just explained the process from a woman who's done it.. The book had lots of good questions. Also, take a journal - you will want to take notes. They start talking, and there is a lot of good stuff that you may forget by the end.


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## hopefloats (Sep 25, 2010)

thanks... i will do that, and as soon as I get through here I will look up the book.

I see the attorney next Thursday. I don't think my husband has a clue. I plan to next Saturday to go for a long drive.. stop and stay some place for the night, and then drive back on Sunday afternoon. Just need some time to my self to think and pray. 

When I told my sister my plans... she just cried. Not because of being sad though because she was releaved. She has been very worried about me for a long time. She said that it will be good to see me smile and hear me laugh again. She and her husband, her best friend have been married for 45 years. She is so funny though...she does not use bad words...and she said to me that she hoped that Bleep Hole had not turned me off to the belief of love. I just laughed & told her it would be a long time before I thought about another man. Just my boys.

I know that it will be the end of November before I can do anything, but at least it gives me hope for the future, and gives me time to plan. So everyone who believes in the power of prayer, pray for a good year end bonus.

I have all kinds of mixed feelings about all of this. But the strange thing is that I have never been so sure of anything my whole life. 

Thanks everyone!!!!
hopefloats


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