# Opinions about NYC harassment video



## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

What do you think about the NYC video of a woman walking in Manhattan and getting comments from random men?

10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman - YouTube

Is this the typical harassment that women face every day? Is it being blown out of proportion as an issue that women face? Is it just the culture of men in big cities? Did you cringe or shrug while viewing it?


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## SolidSnake (Dec 6, 2011)

Just posted in the other thread where this was linked, but yes, I think its overblow. That's not been my experience at all. I was just in NYC last month. Did a lot of walking. Wearing a skirt too. Went there a lot when I was 18-23 and lived in the area. No problems. Not saying its untrue but the media really tend to sensationalize things. I tend to believe people's posts on TAM over stuff on CNN/Youtube. I don't t trust it. People make prank/staged videos all the time on Youtube.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

skype said:


> What do you think about the NYC video of a woman walking in Manhattan and getting comments from random men?
> 
> 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman - YouTube
> 
> Is this the typical harassment that women face every day? Is it being blown out of proportion as an issue that women face? Is it just the culture of men in big cities? Did you cringe or shrug while viewing it?



I'm a woman and I don't experience this type of behavior every day. Have I experienced all this cat-calling and harassment? Yes, sometimes. I think it really depends on your environment. Walking around the city with tons of males, especially the more urban parts, a lot of women would hear it all the time. I think it could be a cultural thing because I tend to hear it mostly from black and Latino men.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

There are a lot of PSA's out there about men being a-holes. The NFL one, this one, a couple of others. Tough to be a guy sometimes.


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## mr.bunbury (Oct 20, 2014)

Actually a man making remarks to a woman passing by, if done properly is a way of social interaction, there are even married couples who met that way. A friend of mine in high school was very good at it and always made girls laugh, he wouldn't say anything lewd, he was careful about it.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

I never personally experienced this level of harassment from strangers, but I hope that the publicity this is getting will make more men aware of what it feels like to endure comments about your body from random people on the street.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I think what is being lost in this is that it was 10 HOURS of film, with only 1.43 minutes of harassment. I mean...10 hours is a long time. And if you notice the streets she is walking down, there are guys hanging around everywhere. 

So to me it looks like she deliberately walked up and down streets that were populated with drifter looking guys to get as many cat calls as she could for her video. Which when you take it down from 10 hours to 1.43 minutes, isn't that much really...

If she was walking for 10 hours in a suburban neighborhood, would she even get one cat call?

I'm not saying anything about street harassment, good or bad or whether we should be trying to raise awareness about it. I'm just saying the video is misleading in the sense that even in the most drifter-dude populated streets she could find, the number of times it happened was relatively very SMALL compared to the amount of time she was walking around.

Having said that though, my friend who lived in Italy for awhile said that street harassment happens literally constantly and it happens in every area (and on buses, in public buildings, etc), not just drifter-dude populated big city streets.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Moving to Italy....


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Okay more seriously now. When I was in my teens and 20's that kind of harassment was an everyday thing. You keep walking and you never make eye contact and you perfect your B!ITCH eye!

Now when it happens, I have fun with it. But I'm in a safe area. "A thousand dollars? That's all? So insulted I'm not even talking to you!"


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

There where a few times (assuming it wasn't staged) that would say was harassing (the one who appeared to be following her/ the one's saying I'm I to ugly to talk to) but on the whole I say it's been blown out of proportion (a few said hi, not exactly harassing someone by saying hi).


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

When I was younger and living in a major urban centre, this sort of harassment -- and much worse -- was commonplace and everyday. I had guys follow me in their cars while I walked, masturbate in my vicinity, flash me, invite me to **** their ****, and outright grab at me. 

Now,.older and in a smaller urban centre, I don't see it at all. There will be occasional "hi's" or ordinary social interaction, but nothing harrassing.

And I agree with FW in that stringing it together into such a short clip does underscore the oppressiveness of it all, and probably unfairly for some contexts. But at the same time, I think that's kind of the point --to make it a bit more real for those who can't see or don't know the problem.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

skype said:


> What do you think about the NYC video of a woman walking in Manhattan and getting comments from random men?
> 
> 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman - YouTube
> 
> Is this the typical harassment that women face every day? Is it being blown out of proportion as an issue that women face? Is it just the culture of men in big cities? Did you cringe or shrug while viewing it?


I think some areas a woman is much more likely to be harassed or catcalled. When I lived in the city, it wasn't uncommon for a stranger to touch me, grab my arm, tell me to smile, ask me if I have a man, call me boo. On and on and on. It didn't matter if I was out with my kids or my mother or my friend. I didn't even live in a majorly urban city like NYC or Chicago. I lived in a laid back SoCal city. 

Then we moved to my suburban neighborhood and while I have had men shouting from their cars while I walk, it's SO very rare. I'm much more likely to have a friendly chat with a man while out.

Street harassment CAN be a problem in certain areas but I certainly don't think it happens all the time, everywhere. I do want to point out, however, that it can be very frightening to have a strange man follow you, touch you, corner you, then eventually call you names and shout at you because you refuse his advances. There's a difference between a man cold-approaching and straight up harassing a woman. A HUGE difference. The line is bright red with big neon blinking lights.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

The video of course is a bit sensational and exaggerated. First, unless you're delivering mail or doing a walk-a-thon... who walks around for ten hours in a row? Of course the comments will pile on. Further, it seems more since it's spliced down to under 2 minutes. 

I am torn. First, not everything in the video is what I would consider harassment. "Hi". "Good morning." "God Bless You." or "Have a nice day alright?" are not harassment! Second, do I think it's wrong for a man to compliment, flirt or say hello to a woman he finds attractive on the street? No. Especially if he is single and presumes her to be. I actually met my current spouse when I was walking down a street. He didn't cat-call/harass me but we did note each other's attraction... that's why we spoke in the first place! Eleven years, 2 kids later and it all started with a simple "hello". 

At the same time, there were creepy things going on in the video. Things that reflect real experiences of real women. I've been followed in cars by men demanding I get in the car and go to coffee, take their number or give them my own. So I take issue with the woman being followed for four/five minutes. It is scary and uncomfortable to go through that. 

Some things were more sexual ("sexy American Eagle" and the other "God Bless You Mommy!") comments... Although, do note that not all women hearing such things would feel harassed. Some would be flattered. "Hey, my butt does look good in these jeans!" 

What I take issue with is actually more obscure than that. Such as the "smile beautiful" comments and the "someone is giving you a compliment so you should acknowledge them!" sentiment (I know it's poorly quoted). I already explained my reasoning to why those things bug me on the "Too Friendly" thread but basically it comes down to entitlement on the guy's part in telling her how to look/express herself for THEM as if she owes them sh!t. I don't like it.

Anyway, I can honestly say I have never been approached 100 times in a day. Maybe 8 to 10 when I lived in a larger city. Likely once daily just going about my business in my small city. Then again, I don't walk around for 10 hours straight EVER and because of that, maybe my butt is less sexy American Eagle and more sexy Walmart (kidding)...I'll just be over here being facetious and laughing at my own jokes lol.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> I think what is being lost in this is that it was 10 HOURS of film, with only 1.43 minutes of harassment. I mean...10 hours is a long time. And if you notice the streets she is walking down, there are guys hanging around everywhere.
> 
> So to me it looks like she deliberately walked up and down streets that were populated with drifter looking guys to get as many cat calls as she could for her video. Which when you take it down from 10 hours to 1.43 minutes, isn't that much really...
> 
> ...


The video only shows under 2 minutes of harassment. From what I read on another site, that type of harassment was pervasive through out her entire walk.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

When I was younger (20s), I'd have random men in public places get aggressive in trying to talk to me or tell me to smile. I remember two different men touching me on two different occasions while I was using public transportation. Once a man spread his legs to give me a good look at what was between his legs. There were also stares and pointed looks at my chest area. 

Once the harassment happened at a public library and my then boyfriend (now husband) was there to see it. The man got angry when I wouldn't interact with him the way he wanted. We still talk about that weirdo.

It's a lot better now that I'm older. I probably give off a far different vibe too. 

There are things on that video that I wouldn't consider harassment.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

This most definitely happens. I do not need to see the video to believe it. I work in the city. I see it all the time.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

It's interesting what Elegirl notes, this was just *cut down* to 2 minutes; there was probably a lot more.

I would be fine with everything except being followed, and, like others have said, being told that I _should_ respond when someone "compliments" me.

This past summer while walking (in baggy sweats and an oversized windbreaker with little to no make-up), I had two very strange experiences.

An elderly man in a pimped out Cadillac followed me along the street and asked if I needed the company of a man. We live in a semi-large town; not "urban" at all.

A teenage guy and a middle-aged man outside a grocery store, asked me if I would be willing to put on rubber gloves and apply ointment to some stitches on the kids' back, which he couldn't reach? The middle-aged guy said he wasn't willing to do it.

I have a theory that the more slouchy and casual you look; you may attract more attention because you're not intimidating or "out of their league".


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

The creator of the video was making a point. Do you really think the vid would have seen the light of day if none of those guys was acting like a jerk? It's like Al Gore making a video about the effects of global warming; you will only see the most obvious and alarming effects so that he can make his point.

You only see the times that some guy made a lewd comment. You didn't see the 99% of the time that she was ignored.


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

I think the point is, that in 2014, this actually still happens. Although men's attitudes have drastically changed on how they view their rights to respond to a woman walking, this proves there's more work to be done.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

It's like a comic I once saw.

A reporter goes up to a couple of high school students and asks a few questions:

"Who was the first President of the U.S.?"
"Who was Christopher Columbus?"
"Where is the White House located?"

The kid answers "I don't know" to all of them.

The reporter turns to the camera and says: "There you have it folks! Undeniable evidence of the sorry state of our nation's education system!"

But as the kids walk away, the interviewee's friend says: "C'mon, dude... you know the answers to those questions."

To which he replies: "I know, but if I would have answered them, I never would have got on TV!"


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I used to get cat called when I was younger.... of course.

At at time when I was friendlier, said hi to everyone and respionded to everything after that. 

My inability to be rude and say no resulted in my appearing tentative So of course, anyone on the make is going to take advantage of that.

I'm also in northern Europe these days, so that behavior is less so anyway.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

One thing I want to add......

It doesn't matter if a woman is wearing jeans.....

If she looks good in jeans she is going to get more attention than the fat woman in a mini skirt......


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I think a lot of things in the video aren't things I'd consider "harassment". I also think street harassment can be a huge problem for an individual woman and the frequency is going to depend on where she lives. I don't think the sudden vocalization about it is going to change anything though. 
The people who actually pay attention to the problem of street harassment aren't the ones doing it most likely. The ones perpetuating the problem likely don't give a damn and will continue to do as they please.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

When I worked in the city, I used to get cat called all the time. Walking to my office, on the train, at the train station, you name it! Some of the guys were amusing, some were very scary & intimidating. One morning I was at the Burger King on the first floor of my building & a homeless dude walked right up & told me, "The things I would do to you!". I immediately reported him to security, I felt real unsafe at that point.

I personally don't like cat calling. It doesn't make me feel sexy at all. But I have mastered the "resting b!tch face" & can deter most of it.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

When I was laid up in therapy there were several ladies working at the hospital who would have definitely drawn interest if they were walking down a street full of "pervs". Any who would been apt to want to do it had too many problems of their own to bother.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

NYC sucks is the moral of this story.

I've spent some time there and the video is quite on par with reality. If you are even half way decent looking, random men will hit on you.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

I want to do an experiment and see the reactions of women to hot guys doing the same exact thing vs fat ugly middle aged guys.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

weightlifter said:


> I want to do an experiment and see the reactions of women to hot guys doing the same exact thing vs fat ugly middle aged guys.


If you do this, try having the fat, ugly old guys appear to be well off financially by being well dressed and motoring around in a expensive car. I doubt that the results will surprise you.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> I want to do an experiment and see the reactions of women to hot guys doing the same exact thing vs fat ugly middle aged guys.


I was approached by a gorgeous man outside of a club in Oceanside (a military town in San Diego.) He was like 6'2, caramel skin, very nice body. He grabbed my arm as I was exiting and said "Ma, you have some DSL right there." 

DSL means d!ck sucking lips. Very crude and borderline repulsive to me. I am SURE that approached worked for him in the past. But to ME, it killed any sort of attraction I could have had for him. 

Hot or not, disgusting and rude is disgusting and rude.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Still happening in 2014? Hell yeah....watched any "urban" music video's lately? This behavior is promoted and celebrated by both sexes. I was in Vegas a few months back. Our hotel had a Sunday afternoon pool party. It quickly turned into a rap festival with young women lined up to go up on stage in tiny bikini's to "twerk" for the cheering crowd. So no, I'm not surprised a bit. As mentioned above, I think you'll get this in some areas and not in others so (or at least to a much greater frequency) so hopefully you have a choice.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

hookares said:


> If you do this, try having the fat, ugly old guys appear to be well off financially by being well dressed and motoring around in a expensive car. I doubt that the results will surprise you.


I used to have an acquaintance who had a successful clothing manufacturing business. At the time he was late 20's, good looking and drove a red Ferrari. When he and the car were together, women were constantly stopping him to offer a phone number at minimum....


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
There have been a lot of interesting discussions on this video in a number of places. My thoughts:

First, I'm skeptical that its real. 10 hours at that pace is about 30 miles. A few people can do that, but most would look completely trashed by the end. This was posted on a site that is trying to collect donations, so they have motivation to fake this.

That said, I'm not terribly surprised by what I saw - so while the video could be a fake, i think the issues are real. 


The contact / harassment issue is very tricky. Some things are clearly harassment - like following someone. Others are rude, and might be considered threatening (HELLO beautiful), some are just a bit rude. 

The problem is that humans engage in a lot of non-verbal communication. You can generally tell by a persons stance, expression, etc whether or not a "hello" would be acceptable - and by their reaction, whether or not they want you to continue.

I've gotten into hotel elevators with a woman and because she "looked" friendly, said something like "hello", or "Nice hotel" or some such. Then depending on whether they replied with more, would continue a conversation.

OR

I've gotten into an elevator with a woman who seemed nervous / afraid - pressed up against the far wall. In that case I'll avoid looking in their direction and stare at the floor, stand at the far side to look as non-intimidating as I can. 

If you try, you can make a very good guess as to whether or not someone wants to be approached.

The woman in the video clearly was NOT signaling that she wanted to be approached.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Shoto1984 said:


> At the time he was late 20's, good looking and drove a red Ferrari. When he and the car were together, women were constantly stopping him to over a phone number at minimum....


Reminds me of a line from 1990's Crazy People. Ad agent in a mental institution finds success in letting fellow patients write ad copy.

"Jaguar, for the man who likes getting hand jobs from women he doesn't know."


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> First, I'm skeptical that its real. 10 hours at that pace is about 30 miles. A few people can do that, but most would look completely trashed by the end. This was posted on a site that is trying to collect donations, so they have motivation to fake this.
> 
> That said, I'm not terribly surprised by what I saw - so while the video could be a fake, i think the issues are real.
> 
> ...




I wondered about the 10 hours too. I'm guessing the whole process took about 14 hours with several breaks along the way.

And she must have slowed down to a 1.5 mph "shuffle" at some point

I noticed the prompt for donations too. Also this same woman was interviewed by Anderson Cooper about this video. She is an actress, or an aspiring one. So there definitely is a contrived element to the whole thing.

I totally agree that the issues have validity, and she did not seem even slightly interested in the men around her.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

I just read an editorial by Craig Marshall Smith entitled, "Sorry about the catcalls Shoshana, but why the surprise?" He argued that Shoshana should enjoy the male attention now while she is young, because this will stop when she is older and becomes "invisible."

He went on to say that deformed people are looked on with pity, and young Islamic women are hostages of the Islamic state, so she doesn't have it so bad. Utterly ridiculous arguments, facts that have nothing to do with catcalls in the US.

Here is the link to his comments:

http://digital.olivesoftware.com/Ol...pageno=MTc.&entity=QXIwMTcwNQ..&view=ZW50aXR5


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Shoto1984 said:


> I used to have an acquaintance who had a successful clothing manufacturing business. At the time he was late 20's, good looking and drove a red Ferrari. When he and the car were together, women were constantly stopping him to over a phone number at minimum....


The one time in my life a car full of young women outright propositioned me an flashed boobies...

Ca 1997. I was visiting parents and driving my fathers convertible Jag.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

This accurately portrays my experiences.

https://screen.yahoo.com/girl-watchers-000000336.html
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Just to add, I recall this video first making the rounds a few months ago so I think this is the second time the media has picked it up to fill in the 24hr "news" cycle.


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