# Ex Girlfriend getting more love



## secondbest (Sep 16, 2011)

Not sure where to start but I have been married now for 7 years and about 3 years ago his ex girlfriend moved back into the area I recieve a call from him mom and she tells me to just be nice and not to worry about it because there just friends. So I let the late night calls go and the rides to her home from a friends house. Then they start on facebook and yahoo texting each other. Personal things such as wheather she shaved for him or if she wanted him and if so then he would get the process rolling. Stuff like that. Well anyways it all stopped all of a sudden and she went and married a man in a town ten miles away and so I thought awesome! I get my husband back. Anyways about a year ago she started contacting him again and he never said anthing about it so I was unaware of it. My Husband likes to build demo cars in the same town his ex lives in at his garage. And everything was hunkey dori untill one day she hung out there and I was fine with it because she was married also. Anyways then the text messages began increasing and he was telling her things again such as lets run away together and He was telling her he loves her heck he still does. When asked about it he gets upset because I am invading his privacy and now when I look after knowing he had been talking to her he deletes the history. We went camping for a week and he threw his back out so he went back into town on a tuesday and on wednesday he had a diff appt so anyways on tuesday he was spotted sitting in her driveway, he was outside with her but still there. Now today he recieved a text from her and she told him she loved him too so my assumption is he told her he loved her and we bout her daughter a bike for her birthday which was fine because its not her fault anyways he also bought her a present mind you the total bill for the bike and her gift was 140 bucks. Should i be mad at this since Last year I never recieved anything. I just dont know what to do or how to handle this since he swears up and down that they are just friends no more. Worse part of this whole situation is her Husband is ok with them telling each other they love each other and wanna be together. Ugh the misery i am in right now.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

So, your husband tells his ex he loves her and wants to be with her, then claims they are just friends? That's like chucking a loud fart that everyone can hear and then saying "It wasn't me!" =/

Stop being so nice, he's walking all over you


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## mrsstartingover (Sep 17, 2011)

I am certainly not one to give advice, but the first time my husband were to tell another woman, Lets run off together, followed by any kind of "I love you".... that would be the only red flag I would need to see. 
Many relationships have their own kind of rollercoasters that they go through. You have to ask yourself if the life you want for yourself includes being second best? Do you always want to wonder if he would rather be with her? Where would he be had she not gotten married?
I am sure you deserve better, it is not your fault he can not see what you have to offer. You obviously have a big heart, and want to love him and forgive him or you would not have reached out to strangers.
Move on my friend. Everyone deserves to be TRULY LOVED!!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'd be filing divorce.


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## secondbest (Sep 16, 2011)

Honestly its not that easy when you love someone you fightfor it, And i still Love him.


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## mrsstartingover (Sep 17, 2011)

I don't see anyone's reply trying to disrepect the feelings you have for him. Obviously you love him, or you wouldnt have reached out for advice, feedback, or even a safe place to vent your feelings.
Time and time again, the fact that one partner is loyal, and still deeply in love is what allows the other the freedom to get away with the little white lies for so long, the little things that "the spouse will forgive and overlook". All of these acts are not fair to you or the love that you vowed to have for each other when you married one another.
I would hate for anyone, male or the female, to see these warning signs smack in front of them, and then wonder why years down the road when the marriage ended and they were with the other person...why they ignored the signs and wasted so much time "loving" someone that did not love them back unconditionally.
I do not have the perfect world...I am no better. Easier to try to help others than to face for oneself... good luck! I wish someone could MAKE me face it...point blank...rather than ***** foot around the tulips all the time.


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## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

He needs to lose all contact with her. 

I would say that if he does not stop talking to her, I would divorce him.... And even if he says he will stop talking to her completely, it doesn't sound like he will completely.

Is this something you want to deal with forever?


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## secondbest (Sep 16, 2011)

Well Honeslty I can say it is getting better or atleast it seems that way. I have been reading "The Love Dare" book and attemptint each of the dares. He seems to be a little more willing to tell me things.


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## secondbest (Sep 16, 2011)

UGH!! Ok so here it is.. Once again he is being private. He even took his phone to the bathroom while he showered and now he decided to charge it in the bedroom with him at night instead of the living room where it has been since we got the phones. I dont know what hes trying to prove but I tell you what its about annoying, and now my mom wants me to go on an over night trip with her to a concert and some shopping and he told her no because he cant be home alone well i tell you what this **** keeps up and he will learn what its like to stay home alone at night. FOR GOOD!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

He is cheating on you.



secondbest said:


> So I let the late night calls go and the rides to her home from a friends house. Then they start on facebook and yahoo texting each other. Personal things such as *wheather she shaved for him or if she wanted him and if so then he would get the process rolling*.
> 
> Anyways then the text messages began increasing and *he was telling her things again such as lets run away together and He was telling her he loves her heck he still does*. When asked about it he gets upset because I am invading his privacy and now when I look after knowing *he had been talking to her he deletes the history.*
> 
> ...


You shouldn't be mad. You should be furious. He is playing you left and right. How can you not see that he's cheating on you? Blatantly.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

secondbest said:


> UGH!! Ok so here it is.. Once again he is being private.* He even took his phone to the bathroom while he showered *


I did the same thing when I cheated. 

If you can't see this for what it is... you have bigger problems than you think.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

get this thread moved to the Coping with infidelity forum, the reponses there will be helpful

also click the newbie link in my signature


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## f1r3f1y3 (Dec 8, 2009)

+1 for telling friends and family, his, yours, tell everyone connected.

I did this when I discovered my wife's affair. Best thing I could have done. The affair came crashing down and she felt the consequences of her actions.

Seriously I don't think cheaters even think what they're doing is that bad when it's all a secret.


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## mrsstartingover (Sep 17, 2011)

After everything that you have confessed, I am shocked at your statement where he said "NO" to your mother regarding an overnight stay out of town....and you stood for it. That is your mother. Who gives a rats ass if he doesnt like staying by himself, he is a grown man. Tell him to go spend the night with his mommy if he is scared. Enjoy the night with you mom..life is short!! 
When you make a stand and start to live YOUR life, things will become clearer to you....maybe even wake him up and see that you are a stong, beautiful woman, that he can not live with out. Regardless....ever person deserves better than this kind of crap. Sorry this sounds so bold. That post just made me literaly sick to my stomach. Good luck my friend. P>S> my husband is an ass too....doesnt cheat (only because everyone else knows he is an ass too). lol


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How do you know that her husband is ok with what is going on? Have you spoken to her husband?


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## mrsstartingover (Sep 17, 2011)

I have no idea if your post was questioning me or not....
No I have not spoke to her husband! I never said anything at all him being ok. I have no idea what you are talking about.


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## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

mrsstartingover said:


> I have no idea if your post was questioning me or not....
> No I have not spoke to her husband! I never said anything at all him being ok. I have no idea what you are talking about.


I think it was in reference to this sentence in the OP.



> Worse part of this whole situation is her Husband is ok with them telling each other they love each other and wanna be together. Ugh the misery i am in right now.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

mrsstartingover said:


> I have no idea if your post was questioning me or not....
> No I have not spoke to her husband! I never said anything at all him being ok. I have no idea what you are talking about.


I was not talking to you. If I were I would have used your name. I was talking to secondbest. It's her thread.



secondbest said:


> ….Worse part of this whole situation is her Husband is ok with them telling each other they love each other and wanna be together. ...


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

OP hasn't posted since Sept.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

People resurrect these old posts… oh geez


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