# The forces of fog



## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Just read the comments below the article to witness the full force of fog: Discuss: How to Close the Door After an Affair - Psych Central

The spouse is not even an issue. If anything, an enemy, an interference, a parent.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Here are a few gems:

"While we both were aware of the difficulties the could accompany the affairs breakup I’m finding it particularly painful… my marriage is 30 years old and the affair lasted 6 years, so both relationships are/were grounded in love and respect."

_grounded in love and respect?_

"I had an affair with a doctor for four years. His wife had abandoned their relationship for a decade. He was online for years before meeting me trying to find companionship and love. He also was with some other women who were there to satisfy his sexual needs. 

His wife found out about us after looking through his phone. She has changed totally. She is not into him, making their marriage work, and is trying to do the right thing after not being there for ten years. She is also controlling her husband to the point that she is scheduling his work meetings, checking his emails, texts, coming to the office, speaking with his IT people, calling me at work to see if I am there, and has come to the office while I was there giving him his things back. 

*Sorry to say this, but if a wife or husband chooses to abandoned their spouse, for whatever reason, then why do people get so annoyed with the mistress or the O/W? *The O/W was most likely mislead, as was I. You can call me what you will, but where the hell was his wife for the past decade? Now life is a mess for all involved."


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

staystrong said:


> Just read the comments below the article to witness the full force of fog: Discuss: How to Close the Door After an Affair - Psych Central
> 
> The spouse is not even an issue. If anything, an enemy, an interference, a parent.


I read a story the other day that listed the reasons the betrayed spouse should apologize to the wayward spouse for not staying exciting and fresh and crap like that.. Was obviously written by someone that was currently cheating or had cheated and got away with it and was still deep in the fog of justifications.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

staystrong said:


> Here are a few gems:
> 
> "While we both were aware of the difficulties the could accompany the affairs breakup I’m finding it particularly painful… my marriage is 30 years old and the affair lasted 6 years, so both relationships are/were grounded in love and respect."
> 
> ...


Love those, the respect one is an instant classic.

I love that the last one actually believes the guy's wife abandoned him, she was probably trying as hard as she could to be the most loving wonderful wife and had no idea her husband was a cheating scumbag. It's sad that all a guy has to do is tell some females his wife is mean to him, and she'll drop her pants.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

staystrong said:


> Just read the comments below the article to witness the full force of fog: Discuss: How to Close the Door After an Affair - Psych Central
> 
> The spouse is not even an issue. If anything, an enemy, an interference, a parent.


I'm sorry, I couldn't even get past two or three comments.
I'm using a tablet and I don't think it will handle me throwing it across the room again.:scratchhead:


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

russell28 said:


> Love those, the respect one is an instant classic.
> 
> I love that the last one actually believes the guy's wife abandoned him, she was probably trying as hard as she could to be the most loving wonderful wife and had no idea her husband was a cheating scumbag. It's sad that all a guy has to do is tell some females his wife is mean to him, and she'll drop her pants.


Well it is within the realm of human possibility that she got with him for his money, so once she had him snared, being nice to him and sexxing him and taking care of him was not in the cards. She would pleasure herself with her conquests outside the marriage.

I don't really have a problem anymore with someone stepping out when they have been neglected for a long time. I mean it's better to leave, but were dealing with human beings here.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

treyvion said:


> I don't really have a problem anymore with someone stepping out when they have been neglected for a long time. I mean it's better to leave, but were dealing with human beings here.


So next time someone punches you in the face because they are angry with you instead of just walking away, are you going to be okay with that because after all they're just a human being? 

Your comment is absurd. So you don't have a problem with someone living a lie is essentially what you're saying as long as they can justify it.

If you decide to cheat rather than take the high road in a perceived (I use that word because cheaters love to rewrite history) neglectful relationship then you're a piece of trash. No better if not worse than the neglector.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

BetrayedDad said:


> So next time someone punches you in the face because they are angry with you instead of just walking away, are you going to be okay with that because after all they're just a human being?
> 
> Your comment is absurd. So you don't have a problem with someone living a lie is essentially what you're saying as long as they can justify it.
> 
> If you decide to cheat rather than take the high road in a perceived (I use that word because cheaters love to rewrite history) neglectful relationship then you're a piece of trash. No better if not worse than the neglector.


It sounds like his wife was sleeping around on him and he had his limit.

Being punched in the face isn't nice, but it is in the realm of the human experience.

I have no problem with a neglector being cheated on after a long enough period of time. To me it's simply communication.

"You starve me and I will go get it somehwere else. I don't really want to, but I will. And if it goes on for too long, I will truly leave, there are billions of women on this earth"


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

treyvion said:


> It sounds like his wife was sleeping around on him and he had his limit.
> 
> Being punched in the face isn't nice, but it is in the realm of the human experience.
> 
> ...


Why not tell the person you're with "I'm not satisfied and I've been neglected for a long time. If we can't do anything about improving our love life, then I think we should separate our see other people." That's basic respect. Respect is within the realm of the human condition, too.


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