# Have any other men experienced this situation?



## neilr007 (Dec 19, 2011)

A couple are sitting together.

Woman: I want to go somewhere / do something that I know you won’t enjoy but I want you to come with me / do it with me.

Man: What is it?

The woman explains.

Man: You’re quite right, I don’t want to do that / go with you. I won’t enjoy it.

Woman: But I really want to go there / do that and I want you to come with me / do it with me.

Man: OK, as I love you so much, and I want to make you happy, I will come with you / do it with you. But…I tell you know, I won’t enjoy it.

The ‘thing happens’.

Afterwards, the couple are sitting together again.

Woman: Did you enjoy that?

Man: No. I told you I wouldn’t.

Woman: You selfish bastard, you never want to do anything, we have nothing in common.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

All except for the last two lines.
Try this;
Her: Did you enjoy it?
Him: I enjoyed being with you, but I could let this event go.
Her: Thank you for doing this for me.
Him: Because I love you, Sweetheart.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

It sucks..but sometimes you have to tell them what they want to hear.

DanF has the right idea.

"Man: No. I told you I wouldn’t." is just asking for her response.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

sinnister said:


> It sucks..but sometimes you have to tell them what they want to hear.
> 
> DanF has the right idea.
> 
> "Man: No. I told you I wouldn’t." is just asking for her response.


But I hear so often here that complete honesty is always best in any relationship.

Don`t get me wrong, Im` with you and DanF as I know you have to tell them what they want to hear just to maintain a relationship.

I just find it funny.


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## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

Reading between the lines.

W: I want you to do things with me, I want to connect with you on my emotional level, I want you to show that you care.

M: I'm selfish. I only think of what makes me happy.

W: You selfish bastard, you never want to do anything, we have nothing in common. 

M: Let's have sex tonight.

W: I'm not in the mood! 

M: 

Fast forward X amount of time?

W: "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" ?????


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

*But I hear so often here that complete honesty is always best in any relationship.But I hear so often here that complete honesty is always best in any relationship.*
It is only good in a perfect marriage. This is hardly ever the case. So the more lies the better. Just tell her what she wants to hear.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Over the past year of trying to save the marriage, when she was still living at home, I would go shopping with her all the time. I am not a fan of shopping, but enjoy being with her. Never complained, just showing her I cared enough and thought our "quality time" would get her back to a loving wife. 9 months of this and many other selfless acts and she walked out the door. Going on 7 weeks of seperation and seeing the my selfless acts only made her more selfish.

At least we are in MC and got to go shopping with her again this weekend. Geez do I sound like a Nice Guy!


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

neilr007 said:


> Afterwards, the couple are sitting together again.
> 
> Woman: Did you enjoy that?
> 
> ...


I don't understand why she lashed out at him, she asked a question and he answered honestly, what's with the name calling and throwing the term "never" in there? Plus she leads in with her question at the beginning knowing he won't enjoy it... This was a set up for the man to fail either way  That sucks.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Cherry said:


> I don't understand why she lashed out at him, she asked a question and he answered honestly, what's with the name calling and throwing the term "never" in there? Plus she leads in with her question at the beginning knowing he won't enjoy it... This was a set up for the man to fail either way  That sucks.


Which is why DanF's response is good. I would have responded "I like spending time with you" and not mentioned the activity. If pressed, the most I would say is "I would not attend with out you" and then ask what she likes about it. All honest answers.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

RDJ said:


> Reading between the lines.
> 
> W: I want you to do things with me, I want to connect with you on my emotional level, I want you to show that you care.
> 
> ...


:iagree: BINGO!

No couple likes all of the same things, and I think happy couples negotiate and sometimes do things just to make the other happy. 
My husband and I often accompany each other to concerts, home improvement shows, parties and other events we wouldn't go to on our own. We do it because we love and want to spend time with each other, and we don't ruin the other's evening by making sure they know we won't enjoy it. IMO it also ruins the mood if afterwards we say to them "well I told you I wasn't going to like it". Like DanF suggested, I say instead, "I enjoyed spending the evening with you", and it's usually the truth.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

A couple are sitting together.

Man: I want you to do something for me that you may not enjoy.

WoMan: What is it?

Man: Give me a BJ

WomanMan: You’re quite right, I don’t want to do that. I won’t enjoy it.

Manan: But I really want a BJ

WoMan: OK, as I love you so much, and I want to make you happy, I will give you a BJ But…I tell you now, I won’t enjoy it.

The ‘thing happens’.

Afterwards, the couple are sitting together again.

Man: Did you enjoy that?

WoMan: No. I told you I wouldn’t.

Man: You are a cold fish, prude and sexually closed off.


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## JJG (Mar 9, 2011)

If the wife has to beg/force the husband everytime she wants him to do something she enjoys with her, im not surprised she lashed out.

Would it have been so hard for the husband in this situation to have found one aspect of the 'event' that he liked (even a tiny bit), then when she asked if he enjoyed it he could have replied "i liked '......' "

"No. I told you I wouldn’t" sounds sullen and childish. Saying this will have taken away her good memories of the event.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

JJG said:


> "No. I told you I wouldn’t" sounds sullen and childish. Saying this will have taken away her good memories of the event.


That was my point.

It's an honest reponse but a sledge hammer when a scalpel is needed.


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## oldfashioned1 (Oct 26, 2011)

My husband and I do that occasionaly. For the most part we have the same interests but for the few things that we don't have the same interest in...we do them together but straight out tell each other that we don't like it, and " you owe me one". Were honest and we joke about it. If he sits through a Lifetime movie with me then I'll sit through one of his movies that we have watched 101 times(good the first time but gets old after 3+ times).


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

We do the reverse. I volunteer to participate in things she knows I'm not thrilled with but therefore I am never ever permitted to say anything that is in the least way critical at all. Especially this time of year. Why of course I'll hold your purse for 11 hrs while you shoe shop. That would be awesome. Can I staple my tongue to my eye too?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> We do the reverse. I volunteer to participate in things she knows I'm not thrilled with but therefore I am never ever permitted to say anything that is in the least way critical at all. Especially this time of year. Why of course I'll hold your purse for 11 hrs while you shoe shop. That would be awesome. Can I staple my tongue to my eye too?


I guess I don't get it... why would a woman have her husband go shopping for things like shoes? Just not something I do. For one he gets so out of sorts it would drive me crazy... he'd be pushing me to get the first pair I tried on.. "Yea those look great. Get them. Then we can go home and watch football!!!"

We went to Sam's club Christmas shopping this week. It was kind fun because we were just looking around and buying whatever looked good that we needed. But he still drove me sorta nuts... he has his style of shopping and if I deviate from it he starts nagging like an old lady.... i razzed him about it.. nothing to get all snitty about so it was fun just razzing him.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I don't know why. I guess it has something to do with generally being bossy and wanting to order me around.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Can I staple my tongue to my eye too?


:rofl::lol::rofl:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I don't know why. I guess it has something to do with generally being bossy and wanting to order me around.


:rofl: :rofl: Oh well, you let her do it.


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