# Meetup clubs, may diminish meeting the crazy's



## ladylaker (Sep 21, 2013)

I must be a magnet for all the crazy's and cheaters out there! I'm on a couple of well known dating sites where the men AND women are suppose to be SINGLE. I always felt that when a person is on a dating site for singles.....that was suppose to imply - "Unattached". Apparently not. 

Not only do I seem find the men (or they find me) that are still dating someone, living with someone and or married, but now I have their crazy bleeping girlfriends/wives stalking me, texting and or emailing me. Some of the men I've never even met in person. Other's after chatting online thru that particular dating sites email and messenger programs, I graduated thinking I knew them well enough to "friend" them on FB. So, the chatting continues thru FB before possibly meeting face-to-face. Figuring that on FB you may get a feel for what that person is really like. Also, you get to know their friends. The saying is true, "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are". 

However, the crazy girlfriends (whom I'm unaware of) know their boyfriends access codes and now I'm getting weird texts on my phone, odd "friend" requests on FB and emails etc. I'm in business, and I'm in the public eye, I'm not difficult to find, but this is just ridiculous. I've not solicited these men, and how was I to know that there was someone else in the picture? Now I'm the bad guy??? Really? What happened to honesty? Where are the real single men? Where do women meet good honest "unattached" men? 

I had never heard of Meetup.com before Sept of 2013. But I joined a group last September 2013 and unfortunately didn't really attend any functions until this year because of work schedules and weather. But now, I'm finding that going out with these clubs and organizations to their events is quite exciting and gives a person something to look forward to. I think that even though being newly divorced, I was needing to be with people in the worst way. After being married for nearly 21 years, I missed having that someone special around. 

Well, I found friendship among the members of the clubs I've joined. I share common interests with those members and I'm meeting people face to face. This is so much better than sifting thru the myriad of liars on the dating sites. At some point I might meet someone special in one of the clubs. I'm not off the dating sites because they too have single EVENTS where you can actually meet people. But the Meetup.com clubs are a wise choice!!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Block every single one of them.


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I would NEVER chat thru facebook. Too much of my personal info there even with privacy settings - once you are a 'friend' there's just too much there. You have to really be a friend to be on my facebook. I also don't give out my phone number. If I want to chat, I can IM through msn messenger or similar app but prefer to stick to email and in person. A guy doesn't get my facebook or phone until after we've gone out and I know I'd like to see him again.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I agree that you probably need to avoid friending people you only know through online dating sites, unless or until you actually meet them in person and have a relationship going. Far fewer nutjobs with access to your personal information that way. And, yes, _definitely_ block anyone who you find out is married or otherwise already engaged. 

I wish there were some not-crazy sounding meetup groups in my area. Around here, most of them are religiously based in some way. But my favorite - I could not make this up - is the Vegan Goddess Worshippers Sunrise Yoga meetup. Seriously. I'm sure there are lovely people who are biking for Jesus or growing sasanquas, or even worshiping the Goddess while in tree pose at 6:00 a.m., but there just aren't all that many meetup groups around here that I think would really work for me.


----------



## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Heh heh--so my sister and I had an agreement where she was getting me to be less frenetic and I was helping her become a bit more social.

I was searching meetup groups in her town and found a Naked Yoga cluster of activities. Everything from indoor to outdoor to Naked Yoga Nidra. I thought it would be HILARIOUS to send her to that. I mean, it's all men so at least she could maybe find a date that was into yoga like she is.....<snort>.

Sadly the group is infamous in the yoga community for being a bunch of weirdos. Ruined all my fun! :rofl:

But hey--anybody needs help finding interesting meetups....apparently I can find some good ones!


----------



## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

I like meet up groups. I could be busy every night of the week, if I chose to, and have met several nice people of both genders. I was completely new to this area after my split and meet up made the transition much easier.


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I am signed up with several meetup groups and have searched the whole list in my area - I swear some were just made for a specific group of friends to hang out and communicate their plans. There are groups for businesses, groups for ethinicities, groups for activities, etc. etc. Over 100 groups in my area. Out of all of that I have found that the active ones are all around 28-35 unmarried folks, the "dating over 40" means "really we're over 50 but in denial and it's 30 women and two men", the group "life after 40" does some fun things but again, most are over 50 and the majority are women friends who do stuff in groups and a few couples and a couple guys (including my guy friend), the wine tasting group is all married couples and a lot of single women and a couple players based on the group photos - the same guys are in all of the photos with different groups of women as if they have a harem. One of my friends is in the dinner club and I've been invited but theirs are ALWAYS on weeknights because that's when restaurants will reserve areas for big groups for free.

I don't know where the single men 40-50 go in my city. But it doesn't seem to be meetup groups unless it's man only groups like a golfing group of predetermined members.

I have gone to some meetup events, including a POF mixer so these aren't assumptions - these are first hand experiences!


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I am entirely too introverted to attempt going to a meetup function. I cannot imagine going someplace where I know NO ONE all by myself, where I have no idea what is going on or how these things work.


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

3Xnocharm said:


> I am entirely too introverted to attempt going to a meetup function. I cannot imagine going someplace where I know NO ONE all by myself, where I have no idea what is going on or how these things work.


I went with the guy friend to the life after 40 events. I haven't done a wine tasting group even tho. And the POF event I went to meet a guy from POF I was interested in. We were NOT interested in each other and that was obvious, so I mingled a little. Boy there were some trashy drunken women there so I'm sure several of the guys got lucky!

I have gone out by myself and MADE myself strike up a conversation and that turned into a brief but fun fling of a couple months. I felt like I grew a little, pushing myself out of my comfort zone.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I am signed up with several meetup groups and have searched the whole list in my area -* I swear some were just made for a specific group of friends to hang out and communicate their plans*. There are groups for businesses, groups for ethinicities, groups for activities, etc. etc. Over 100 groups in my area. Out of all of that I have found that the active ones are all around 28-35 unmarried folks, the *"dating over 40" means "really we're over 50 but in denial *and it's 30 women and two men", *the group "life after 40" does some fun things but again, most are over 50 *and the majority are women friends who do stuff in groups and a few couples and a couple guys (including my guy friend), the wine tasting group is all married couples and a lot of single women and a couple players based on the group photos - the same guys are in all of the photos with different groups of women as if they have a harem. One of my friends is in the dinner club and I've been invited but theirs are ALWAYS on weeknights because that's when restaurants will reserve areas for big groups for free.
> 
> I don't know where the single men 40-50 go in my city. But it doesn't seem to be meetup groups unless it's man only groups like a golfing group of predetermined members.
> 
> I have gone to some meetup events, including a POF mixer so these aren't assumptions - these are first hand experiences!


I ran into this, too. The small handful of meetup groups that sound remotely interesting to me are either basically just an existing group of friends who really aren't interested in new people, or are folks in denial about whatever age they claim to be a meetup group for. The "thirty something" crowd are all 29-31 and seem to still be big on clubbing, which is a bit young for me, with the exception of the requisite 60 year old player dude who's clearly there just trying to score. The "40 someting" group are all at least mid-50s, with the exception of the requisite 60+ year old player dude who's clearly there just trying to score. 

Hey, maybe I should start a meetup group for people who are 35-45, not into anything weird, and aren't looking to shag grandpa.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Rowan said:


> The "thirty something" crowd are all 29-31 and seem to still be big on clubbing, which is a bit young for me, with the exception of the requisite 60 year old player dude who's clearly there just trying to score. The "40 someting" group are all at least mid-50s, with the exception of the requisite 60+ year old player dude who's clearly there just trying to score.


Funny description. 



Rowan said:


> THey, maybe I should start a meetup group for people who are 35-45, not into anything weird, an*d aren't looking to shag grandpa. *


:rofl: So I can't come? Lol. Ah well, I am too young for your age bracket anyway.


----------



## ladylaker (Sep 21, 2013)

I understand what several of you are saying, that many of the Meetups are "Cliquish". I have not found that of the groups that are the active clubs as in Kayaking, biking, hiking. They are in it because that is what they enjoy doing. I also found that those clubs have more men. 

Also the in denial phase. OMG, you're all correct on that! Men stating that they're 44 and they're 54. 

I've only friended 2 men on FB, but that was because we already had friends in common (mutual friends). The last one with the freakishly scary girlfriend, we lived in the same town (small town) and had several friends in common and of those common friends some were VERY good friends. Where was the harm right? WRONG! Check with them 1st obviously. Hind sight is always 20/20. 

As for joining a Meetup and being afraid to go alone. I have done that plenty of times now and I'm nervous each time. Even though I'm in sales and meet strangers all the time, business is different than personal. Remember you all share the same common elements of that club. So you already have something in common with the members there. It won't eliminate the nerves, but you CAN take a friend or two, which is nice. 

Thanks everyone. I don't know where the singles over 40 hang out either or what they do. Once they divorce, I've had many of them tell me that they're homebodies. And they've confessed that the only time they go out, is usually with their guy friends, who are usually married. So I'm assuming the married man's calendar is full of married responsibilities, not leaving much time for the single friends out there, that's why they stay home. Just my opinion/conclusion.


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

I found one meetup group here in NYC for divorced parents which really seems active.. They go all over and it actually fills up that they can't even take anymore people sometimes to these events.. 

I haven't gone yet as I'm dating someone but it would definitely be the place to go if I wasn't.. 

I find it weird as well that people lie about their age.. 

I could understand why a woman would say it, but a MAN ?.. Too weird for me..

But I honestly have seen some women on these dating sites as well that say they are 40 when they look 50. If they are actually 40, they really had a rough life let me tell you.


----------



## ladylaker (Sep 21, 2013)

The unfortunate part of being in the public eye, is that I'm well recognized but most think I'm still married. There is no way they can hide the shocked looks on their faces when they are told of the news that I'm now single. Anyway, in chatting thru the singles sites via email or messenger you discuss or disclose your employment. Hoping the other has a decent job or is at least viably employed. Once that is released it's not difficult to track me down. I am the only one - even by simply inputting my first name alone that holds this position in my city, and worse, in the entire county where I reside. And with my position, my photo accompanies my business profile.


----------



## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I have gone out by myself and MADE myself strike up a conversation and that turned into a brief but fun fling of a couple months. I felt like I grew a little, pushing myself out of my comfort zone.


Breaking out of your comfort zone and going places alone, striking up conversations with strangers, etc is a great way to build confidence and further enrich your life. 

I've done this quite a bit, especially after divorce and before dating.


----------



## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Hardtohandle said:


> I haven't gone yet as I'm dating someone but it would definitely be the place to go if I wasn't..


Me too, but I just joined one anyway. 

Though I moved back to my hometown, I don't associate with most of my old friends - too toxic. 

Many groups revolve around shared interests, and include married couples as well as singles. Shared interests are a great place to start when looking to meet new people.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

For sure. Dating websites are land-mines at best for both men and women lol. I have tried the meet-up groups in the are. The hiking group was great. the single parents group was mostly women sitting around bashing men....needless to say I had my chuckle and left.

Finding groups of common interest is a great way to meet people


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

ladylaker said:


> The unfortunate part of being in the public eye, is that I'm well recognized but most think I'm still married. There is no way they can hide the shocked looks on their faces when they are told of the news that I'm now single. Anyway, in chatting thru the singles sites via email or messenger you discuss or disclose your employment. Hoping the other has a decent job or is at least viably employed. Once that is released it's not difficult to track me down. I am the only one - even by simply inputting my first name alone that holds this position in my city, and worse, in the entire county where I reside. And with my position, my photo accompanies my business profile.


Can't be worse then hearing I hate cops, My brother got arrested by cops ( like someone else arrest people ? ).. I smoke weed is that a problem ? 

The only good thing is at least people can verify who you say you are.. 

Conversely I get how do I know your a cop.. Luckily if you google my name my linkedin pops up and so do some news articles about some cases.

You can't win to loose sometimes..


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> For sure. Dating websites are land-mines at best for both men and women lol. I have tried the meet-up groups in the are. The hiking group was great. the single parents group was mostly women sitting around bashing men....needless to say I had my chuckle and left.
> 
> Finding groups of common interest is a great way to meet people


I met the current G.F. on POF oddly enough..

I was disgusted by the number of messages she would get.. It honestly was obscene.. Women truly do have it easy in this department..

I would have to start on Saturday day to get a date for NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT.. 

The G.F.. she could open up a message on Saturday morning and have a date for that night.. 

When a woman hit me up on POF I was shocked for a second.. They asked for a number and never called.. Talk about role reversal. It took me about 10 times of handing out my number before I got the gist not to do it anymore.. Women are as bad as men..


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

There's a singles meet up group in my city that I check out online when looking for stuff for us to do at meetup.com (the site is for any interest not just singles).

Their get togethers always sound like so much fun at venues I love.

The wife and I were checking out things to do there once and I told her I really wanted to go but it was singles only.

I floated the idea of us going separately and "meeting" each other there.

She was down for it for a while then she came back to me and put the kabosh on it because she feared she'd kill the first woman she saw speaking with me. (Jealousy issues)

Why can't they have "Married but dying to get the hell out of the house" meet-up groups?


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Hardtohandle said:


> I met the current G.F. on POF oddly enough..
> 
> I was disgusted by the number of messages she would get.. It honestly was obscene.. Women truly do have it easy in this department..
> 
> ...


I met mine on match. Women do get a lot of attention online but not always positive attention. It's a crap shoot in different ways for men and women.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> I met mine on match. *Women do get a lot of attention online but not always positive attention. * It's a crap shoot in different ways for men and women.


This.

Random strangers making comments and sending you pictures of things that could rightly get them arrested if they were standing in front of you, rather than out in cyberspace, is not the kind of attention most women want. Sure, we get lots of responses, lots of messages. The vast majority are not flattering and not the kind of attention that a woman who is looking to actually date is seeking. If I want lewd propositions from strangers or to have men flash their junk at me, I'll wear a pencil skirt and plunging neckline to the next construction site meeting I attend.


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

ladylaker said:


> Some of the men I've never even met in person. Other's after chatting online thru that particular dating sites email and messenger programs, I graduated thinking I knew them well enough to "friend" them on FB. So, the chatting continues thru FB before possibly meeting face-to-face. Figuring that on FB you may get a feel for what that person is really like. Also, you get to know their friends. The saying is true, "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are".
> 
> However, the crazy girlfriends (whom I'm unaware of) know their boyfriends access codes and now I'm getting weird texts on my phone, odd "friend" requests on FB and emails etc. I'm in business, and I'm in the public eye, I'm not difficult to find, but this is just ridiculous. I've not solicited these men, and how was I to know that there was someone else in the picture? Now I'm the bad guy??? Really? What happened to honesty? Where are the real single men? Where do women meet good honest "unattached" men?


But you DON'T know these people! They are just "cyber buddies"..people behind the keyboard and monitor that you've never laid eyes on, spent any time with. That's the problem I have with online dating. IMO it's "backwards". You start texting/facebooking complete strangers and then date date them blind? :wtf: Not my style. 

I need/want to get to actually know someone PERSONALLY before I'll take the precious time and expose myself to the trials and tribulations of actually dating them. Even then, it takes awhile for me to actually like and trust a person.

I have better things to do then spend hours texting people I don't even know or like. Then again, I don't even like doing that with my friends. As for Facebook, if you aren't my actual "friend" I won't "friend" you and I'm pretty much done with Facebook anyway. Way too much drama for me!

I'm just not a "small talk" type of person so I figure if I meet someone in the course of living my life then it's good. If not, then that's good too. Which brings me to Part Deux:



> I had never heard of Meetup.com before Sept of 2013. But I joined a group last September 2013 and unfortunately didn't really attend any functions until this year because of work schedules and weather. But now, I'm finding that going out with these clubs and organizations to their events is quite exciting and gives a person something to look forward to. I think that even though being newly divorced, I was needing to be with people in the worst way. After being married for nearly 21 years, I missed having that someone special around.
> 
> Well, I found friendship among the members of the clubs I've joined. I share common interests with those members and I'm meeting people face to face. This is so much better than sifting thru the myriad of liars on the dating sites. At some point I might meet someone special in one of the clubs. I'm not off the dating sites because they too have single EVENTS where you can actually meet people. But the Meetup.com clubs are a wise choice!!


:iagree: I feel the same way about Meetups. I started going to Meetups back in 2007 through kayaking. I've done hiking ones too but now I do Meetup for social events almost exclusively. I like going out, meeting new people, partying it up with friends. And I have met a lot of friend through Meetup! 

Basically it fits my criteria. There's no commitment. You sign up, you go and you meet people, do events in a safe, informal setting and take what you want from it. I have no interest in dating people in Meetup...there's the "drama" thing again, plus you get to see all your old date/boyfriends time after time..ugh. 

But for meeting people and having fun? It's awesome. After 24 years of marriage and then a divorce I wanted/needed to go out and have a good time and Meetup is basically my entire social life. I do a lot of stuff on my own but it's good to go out and shake a leg. 

Best thing is, you CAN do lots of other stuff through Meetup. They have all sorts of groups from wine tasting to dog walking so it's just a matter of wading through and deciding what it is you want to do and getting out there and doing it! 

And yes, there are singles Meetups for those who are looking to get out there and get that other special person. I like the idea of going to events and actually meeting face to face as opposed to stumbling in the darkness of online dating in the hope that you can find that one needle in the haystack that isn't a wackjob or a liar.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

ladylaker said:


> Also the in denial phase. OMG, you're all correct on that! Men stating that they're 44 and they're 54.


Lol. Does this happen a lot?!

Lady, since you're in the public eye, I would not "friend" people too fast on your social media and otherwise. feel people out first. Granted, I'd say that to someone not in the public eye, too.

If these dudes are telling you they are single and not, then tell them you are not interested and carry on.


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

3Xnocharm said:


> I am entirely too introverted to attempt going to a meetup function. I cannot imagine going someplace where I know NO ONE all by myself, where I have no idea what is going on or how these things work.


I can understand this. One of the organizers of the group has "greeters" at his parties that meet new people and show them around, introduce them, etc. But if you don't have this then going into a room full of people that you don't know (and know each other well) is daunting and intimidating, to say the least. 

I've been a "club" person all my life. I've always had hobbies and joined clubs and walking into a room full of strangers and "chatting" them up comes naturally to me. I can get a sense very quickly if those people are "for me" and know when to leave...been there, done that too. So it works for me. 

Plus it helps that I don't have much emotional investment. I have a good life on my own and in may respects prefer being solo. Meetup is just icing on the cake so if I join a group and don't like it, it's no big deal to walk away and "unjoin". I don't get too attached. It's just for fun, nothing more. 

Not quite sure what you'd do if you are shy. Try and get a buddy to go with you? I've seen people do that. Or just plunge in or stay home? :scratchhead:


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Hiiiiiiiiiiii, Freak!


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Rowan said:


> The "40 someting" group are all at least mid-50s, with the exception of the requisite 60+ year old player dude who's clearly there just trying to score.


I guess I'm lucky. Yes the Meetups I belong to are mostly people in their 50s but I haven't seen a more fun or rockin' group of people since college! We outparty my daughter's college buddies and we put the younger crowd in the clubs to shame. 

I'm also lucky to be in a metropolitan area with lots of people and things to do so there are tons of options. We do tons of different things from kayaking, dinner, going to bands and we even have a camping trip set up for June..plus lots of great parties. I guess I'm really fortunate. 

Oh yeah, there are the older dudes who are constantly hitting on you but they are harmless and make for great conversation. We just ignore them or exchange jokes or ideas on how to avoid them. They don't last long because the men we know are cool and our friends and stand up for us if anyone is out of line. :smthumbup:


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Hiiiiiiiiiiii, Freak!


:yay: :smthumbup: Hey there Jellybeans! How's it rockin' girlfriend?


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's a-rockin- and a rollin'!

You will be happy to know I finally went out on a date. No, I didn't meet prince charming but alas, I have at least made out with someone. And it was HOT. Muahahahahaha! 

Miss you and hope all is well in your world. Nice to see you finally go the big divorce! New beginnings!


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

AWESOME. :smthumbup: Glad to see you are feeling that attraction and getting some action. 

I've been divorced almost a year. BEST year I've ever had! 

Making out I've done, mostly with this one dude who I considered a friend but he wanted more. Heck, I even had sex about a year ago with an old friend who was a FWB before I got married. But then they text you and text you and bother you. Sheesh! :slap: So I shut all that down. 

Last November, I went out on a date twice with a guy I met at Meetup. He had just joined, a doctor but 15 years older *RED FLAG*. But he seemed interesting. Turned out he wasn't. He was quite boring. ALL he talked about what medical stuff and his past..And had a lot of weird baggage. 

Plus he was another one who felt the need to text about nothing. He told me he was suffering from "withdrawal" after our first date. :wtf:

I ended it after the second date with him showing me pics of the RV he'd bought for his old girlfriend. He was showing me the garden he'd planted..blah blah. Ever watch the movie "The Odd Couple" where Felix is showing the Pigeon sisters pics of his wife and kids? Yeah, it was like that..:rofl:

When he texted me again for dinner I told him "Thanks but we don't have much in common." Saw him once at the New Years party and after that, never again. It was nice to get out and have a few good meals, I'll say that.


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

ladylaker said:


> I understand what several of you are saying, that many of the Meetups are "Cliquish". I have not found that of the groups that are the active clubs as in Kayaking, biking, hiking. They are in it because that is what they enjoy doing. I also found that those clubs have more men.


Everything is cliquish. It's the name of the game. The trick is not to get too involved. I got too involved on Facebook and decided it wasn't working for me so I just go to Meetup events, have fun and see who I want to see, do what I want to do. 

I agree about the groups that "activity oriented". They are your best bet if you want to get out and do things with others. Here, we have groups that just go out and walk on the boardwalk every Wednesday and Sunday and then do lunch. Stuff like that is nice. They aren't "single"..anyone can come. In fact, I belong to very few "single" Meetups because my goal is to socialize, get out and have fun, not meet anyone. 

As it turns out I prefer to kayak and hike alone. I found that some of the groups, especially the hiking ones, treated a hike like a representation of the Bataan Death March...Hike 'til you die! How many miles and how far was the goal and they would rarely stop to just relax and enjoy the view. That's not my game. Or they were "Million Man Marches" with 50+ people going on a hike!  Not my style. 

I'm kind of a loner in some things. But I do like to socialize and dance and be in a safe environment. Going to clubs and bars alone isn't my style so Meetup is perfect. We also have house parties, which is awesome. Sometimes we get 100-300 people at an event and I have events planned for Cinco De Mayo and Memorial Day already booked. It's always nice to have options and the people I've met are really nice and fun. 

As for the guys, eh. I put them in their place and call it a day. But that's me. I don't take much of this seriously. It's all fun. 



> Thanks everyone. I don't know where the singles over 40 hang out either or what they do. Once they divorce, I've had many of them tell me that they're homebodies. And they've confessed that the only time they go out, is usually with their guy friends, who are usually married. So I'm assuming the married man's calendar is full of married responsibilities, not leaving much time for the single friends out there, that's why they stay home. Just my opinion/conclusion.


The situation with the 40 crowd is this: These guys still have young kids and often have shared custody. They have their kids a few times a week, every other weekend, etc. So they really ARE consumed (rightfully so!) with their kids and family activities. They often don't have time to date or aren't inclined to because they are so busy with family, work, etc. 

Had I divorced at 40, instead of 50, I would've had 2 young children of 5 and 8. My life and outlook would've been VASTLY different then what it is now, with one child in college and the other in high school and rather independent. I wouldn't have nearly the freedom or options that I do now. My entire life would be my kids! That makes things much different and limited when it comes to socializing, dating, etc. 

So unfortunately if you are in that age range then you just have to be patient or get involved in dealing with someone else's kids, family, ex wife (not an option for me AT ALL) date someone who is older, with older kids who are independent, out of the house, etc. Most my friends have kids who are old, if not older than my kids and they are pretty much free to do as you please. 

Besides, 50 isn't DEAD. We still got lots of life kickin' around in us.  Might want to expand your horizons. Though I will say that I now draw the line at 60 and prefer them to be younger 50s. I'd love to find me a 45 year old dude that just wants to have a blast and is without kids but they are rarer then hen's teeth...as in "I haven't found this yet".


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> AWESOME. :smthumbup:
> 
> Making out I've done, mostly with this one dude who I considered a friend but he wanted more. Heck, I even had sex about a year ago with an old friend who was a FWB before I got married. But then they text you and text you and bother you. Sheesh! :slap: So I shut all that down.
> 
> Plus he was another one who felt the need to text about nothing. He told me he was suffering from "withdrawal" after our first date. :wtf:


:rofl: So hard!!! You are a toughie! Love it. So glad to hear things are good and that you are socializing, meeting people and sticking to your boundaries!

Thes guys that text all the time crack me up too! Keep on w/ the keep on, my friend!


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Rowan said:


> This.
> 
> Random strangers making comments and sending you pictures of things that could rightly get them arrested if they were standing in front of you, rather than out in cyberspace, is not the kind of attention most women want. Sure, we get lots of responses, lots of messages. The vast majority are not flattering and not the kind of attention that a woman who is looking to actually date is seeking. If I want lewd propositions from strangers or to have men flash their junk at me, I'll wear a pencil skirt and plunging neckline to the next construction site meeting I attend.


Not all of us guys are like this. Maybe that's why I have been a bit successful at online dating cause I'm respectful of women. In any case I will give you some free advice on how to stop the random penis photos and texts. First keep the picture of the largest one sent to you or google and copy image of the biggest male penis you can find and save to folder. Then when some guy sends a picture of his junk to you send that picture of the "big one" back to him and say " sorry sweetie this is more my speed". You'll never hear from them again


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl: So hard!!! You are a toughie! Love it. So glad to hear things are good and that you are socializing, meeting people and sticking to your boundaries!
> 
> Thes guys that text all the time crack me up too! Keep on w/ the keep on, my friend!


Yeah, I've been told I'm a tough nut to crack.  It's not an act though. It's the way I am. I don't suffer fools gladly. I have to do that at work and on my off time I have little patience for crap. Now that I'm single, free and lovin' it I just don't want to deal with stupid stuff. The constant texting... "What are you doing?"..over and over, stuff about nothing. Excuse me, but I've got this life to live. You know, hobbies, work, sleep, playing computer games..stuff like that. 

How can someone have WITHDRAWAL after ONE date? My daughter and I saw that and literally were on the floor laughing our arses off. :rofl:

It seems that the college dudes she goes with are more well grounded and just want to have fun. The older dudes are into "relationships" and all that crap and I don't want anything to do with that. I just want someone I can relate to and have fun with. Nothing more. You think that's difficult? Well for me it is. But then again, I have 3 colored hair and like the same things as college students so I don't blame the men I meet. It's on me. I'm weird and been told that I'm "scary". 

When I was told I was "scary" I laughed and said "Really? Well, then I guess it's working." Most people can't believe that I really don't care if I date or meet anyone. I'm good status quo. 

I've had a great time with Meetup. Lots of parties! Concerts too! I've done a LOT of skiing this winter with the great conditions we've had in the Northeast. You want to meet nice guys? Go skiing by yourself. I meet some really cool dudes on the lift ride up. :smthumbup:


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Haha you are a hoot. So funny abut the withdrawal. I went on TWO dates w/ this guy who has not left me alone since. It's nuts.

Love that you have tri-colored hair and love that you are fine w/ the status quo. For some reason when you don't want to date, it seems other people want to date you. Life's ironies!


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> Not all of us guys are like this. Maybe that's why I have been a bit successful at online dating cause I'm respectful of women. In any case I will give you some free advice on how to stop the random penis photos and texts. First keep the picture of the largest one sent to you or google and copy image of the biggest male penis you can find and save to folder. Then when some guy sends a picture of his junk to you send that picture of the "big one" back to him and say " sorry sweetie this is more my speed". You'll never hear from them again


Oh, no, I know not all guys are like that. But I often hear people say how easy it is for women to get lots of responses to their online dating profiles, while men usually get just a few. I think sometimes people who assume that more is automatically better, may be missing the point that a lot of those messages are immediate "Ew! OMG! Delete!" material.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Rowan said:


> Oh, no, I know not all guys are like that. But I often hear people say how easy it is for women to get lots of responses to their online dating profiles, while men usually get just a few. I think sometimes people who assume that more is automatically better, may be missing the point that a lot of those messages are immediate "Ew! OMG! Delete!" material.


:rofl: ahh the stories from online dating. I know it's considered a first date faux pas but i always asked women to share some of their first date stories from online dating on our first date. I have had some weird experiences but some of the crap they told me is hilarious. Even if the date didn't work out it was very entertaining lol


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> I went on TWO dates w/ this guy who has not left me alone since. It's nuts.


So what DO you do with someone like that? Fortunately after I told the guy we had nothing in common he texted back "Wow, that's ok" and said something about saving him a dance at the New Years Party, where we promptly ignored each other. Of course when I walked by him he was chatting some girl up and talking about cancer or some such thing. :sleeping:

I mean the guy was just BORING. He told me that his own daughter told him to not talk constantly about medical stuff. I guess he didn't take it seriously. I would've added "Or your ex wives or old girlfriend". :slap: I know we all talk about that but there's a limit and once you pass that it's weird and obsessive. I actually said to him, "I don't think you're past your girlfriend" and of course he protested vehemently. Yeah, right. :rofl:

I actually wouldn't mind dating but I honestly have not found ANYONE to whom I'm remotely attracted to or have a chemistry with. Lots of guys I like as friends but it ends there and of course they always want more. Maybe it's my subconscious holding me back. I should be thanking it.


----------

