# Husband says we broken up/separated but doesnt know if he wants a divorce , but getting on all these dating sites and trying to hook up with others



## Tabathahorton11 (Jun 17, 2021)

Idk what to think, he says we broken up/separated but doesnt know if he wants a divorce but he going on dating sites and trying to hook up with other females for sex and it hasnt even been 2 weeks sinse we separated.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Tabathahorton11 said:


> Idk what to think, he says we broken up/separated but doesnt know if he wants a divorce but he going on dating sites and trying to hook up with other females for sex and it hasnt even been 2 weeks sinse we separated.


I am sorry you are here. It sucks. It would appear he is just trying to soften the blow. He wants to be single again and doesn’t have the guts to tell you.


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## Twodecades (Apr 4, 2021)

He wants to be married to you while he dates other people. That is not a marriage. Serve him with D papers.


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## Twodecades (Apr 4, 2021)

Torninhalf was much more gracious than I. I'm sorry, I'm not usually so blunt. I grew up in the same circumstances with my parents and have seen it play out multiple times in extended family members. Your husband may even change his mind once you file for D. When he does, remember that he already communicated to you how little he values you very clearly via his behavior, which is the reason you're posting.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

He wants to be free to date and have you as Plan B if he doesn't find anyone else. Why are you even putting up with this? You can make the call to file for the divorce. You don't need his permission.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Do not have sex with him while he is free ranging. No telling what 'gifts' he will pick up from his conquests. I'd tell him that it will be you who will decide on the divorce. BTW, you will have better luck than him in the dating market.


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

Does he know, that you know, he is on dating/hookup sites?
He might be hoping that you don't find out, and he can come back, to you, plan B, once he has had some fun.

Also, like has been said already. He doesn't get to decide that divorce is not what he wants whilst he dates others.
You are quite capable of deciding that one for yourself.

Are you in contact with each other during this seperation? Was it supposed to be a trial seperation? And if so what were the rules about dating others during seperation?

Best get yourself on some dating sites as well. If he can, you can. Make sure he knows.
Let's see if he likes a taste of his own ideas about how seperation works.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Is he still living at home or has he left?

He wants to date others to see how that goes and a “separation” gives him the opportunity. Then he can later claim it doesn’t matter what he did because you weren’t together.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think at this point you need to divorce him. Dating others does nothing to repair a marriage, what he is doing is trying to get laid. Maybe he is trying to force your hand and push you to file for divorce. Many times a spouse wants divorce but doesn't want to be portrayed as a bad person, he will claim he just wanted to separate and work on the marriage, but you filed for divorce. He will never admit he was screwing around, he will want to shift the blame to you.

But so what. Copy his dating profiles, send them to his family and friends, and file for divorce. Why would you ever want him back?


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

He wants to see what is out there before he jumps ship on his marriage completely. This way, he can date around for a while and see if he finds someone he likes. If he does, he walks. If he doesn't find anyone, then he will come crawling back to you and say he wants to work on things.


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

He wants to play silly games. If I were you I would go on dates seeing as he thinks it ok for him, because you are seperated. Then it's OK for you. I wouldn't wait around for this loser and just carry on with your life. Get dating and having fun and divorce him. Treat yourself to a hairdo, manicure and some new clothes and go date a nice man who treats you like a lady. There are lots of decent men out there lovely. Good luck.

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