# My husband is obsessed with video games



## curlyfry (Jul 9, 2012)

I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for here because I'm not sure that my situation is ever going to change... maybe I just need to vent or maybe I'm hoping someone can give me some perspective. Either way, I welcome your input.

My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We are both in our late 20's and I can't stand the fact that he's obsessed with video games. First let me say that I hate video games (he's probably contributed to my hatred of them). I personally think they're a mindless waste of time. Frankly, I think it's odd when grown-ass men sit around and play them all day. That's just my opinion.


I know that video games have always been something that he's enjoyed doing. When we first started dating, I don't think he played hardly at all. I guess it's common for us to put aside our hobbies when we begin a new relationship, but as the honeymoon stage wore off, he started playing games more and more and eventually led to arguments. Now on his days off, I will come home from work to find him playing games. He's still playing an hour later when I leave to go to the gym, and then I come home a couple of hours later to find him still in the same spot playing games. It's ridiculous. It does't stop there though... he has a hand held gaming system that he takes with him if we go somewhere and he's going to be waiting. He even takes it on vacation. It's like a small child... he has to have something to entertain himself constantly. He has a headset with a microphone that he wears to communicate with other players. When he's not playing a game, he's on his phone chatting with his Facebook group of fellow gamers. The Google history constantly has game related searches. One time we hadn't seen each other in a few days because of our work schedules so I thought we could watch a movie together - he was reluctant because Sony was broadcasting some silly press conference. He called in to work the day after the new Playstation was released because he had been up for 24 hours. I could probably go on....


I'll be honest and admit that I'm jealous of video games because they truly seem to be his favorite thing right now. Earlier in our marriage I came up with a "rule" that he could play when I wasn't home but when I was home, I expected it to be "us" time. This seemed fair because we have different work schedules and so there were lots of times that he was home alone and could get in his precious gaming time. Well, my husband is like a kid - if you give him an inch, he takes a mile. I now find that he looks for any opportunity even when I'm home to play. I recently started graduate school and so I have lots of homework. The moment I get my homework out, he's glued to the game controller. I can't really say anything because I'm busy, so why should I care? But I do. Now I'm lucky if he even get up to greet me when I get home from work. Sometimes I feel like we're moving in different directions in life. I'm trying to earn my Masters degree and better my future (he never finished college) and he's excited because he earned a "trophy" on his game. It makes me very sad. Sometimes, I feel like his mother. The other day, I heard him tell his friend through his headset "She finished her homework so I have to get off now."

This is going to sound terrible, but when I come home and see my husband sitting in his chair with this silly game headset on, I find myself less attracted to him. I think "What a loser. Who is this guy I married?" I love him dearly but the video games definitely haven't done our marriage any favors.

The games have led to many arguments. He's well aware of how I feel and has made it clear that it's just my opinion. He doesn't see this as a problem in our marriage, he only sees it as a problem that I have. Anymore I try to choose my battles when it comes to the games because I end up getting extremely upset. Nothing ever gets resolved. I truly don't think he'll ever give them up.

I realize that I've said a lot of negative things about my husband and I do want to add in the positives. He's generally a very loving person. He has a good work ethic and rarely misses work (minus calling in for the PS release), so he's not a complete bum. If I ask him to do something around the house, he generally does without complaint.

In closing, I truly do realize that everyone needs a hobby. I honestly doubt I would mind the games if he only played here and there but that's not the case. My spare time is usually filled with working out and graduate school. Maybe I have no right to resent his hobby but I still just can't help but to feel like it's such a waste of time. Feel free to share your thoughts.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I feel your pain!

I don't know what game your husband is playing, but it sounds like rift/wow/battlefield or something along those lines. A game that's not only addictive because it's fun, but because you develop friendships on there. People rely on you to be there to do group things etc.

The hard thing is that while you are studying, he cannot spend time with you anyway, which you obviously get, so it's impossible to insist he do something you want him to do during that time. However, on vacations I think there should be a rule that no video games are allowed. Explain that you feel crowded out by the games, that you need to have the sort of relationship with him that he promised and that's not possible if he's not available.

If possible, make 2-3 nights a week as you and him nights, where you don't study and he doesn't game and you spend it together. Or at LEAST one night a week anyway. Set the night in STONE, e.g. Friday night. Plan your studies around it.

If he wasn't gaming, I think he'd be doing something else that you would feel pointless, like sitting in front of the TV. I doubt he'd be studying or cleaning the house or doing something you would feel was productive.

Keep persisting in trying to limit the amount of time he spends on there by increasing the amount of time you spend together. If at all possible, find a hobby you can both enjoy once a week. I know it must be hard with your studies, but you need to invest time into the relationship too. At the moment he's escaping, and you being cranky at him about it just makes him want to escape even more! Start enjoying each other again.


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## momto2 (Jun 12, 2013)

I think video game addiction was part of the reason my marriage failed. My STBX played video games before we met, but I guess I never realized how much he actually played. I would spend hours cleaning the house and cooking dinner after work (I work 7-3). He would get home, eat dinner and then jump on the computer. He would be up way past midnight playing, even on work days. I don't know what the solution is but I would address it now. I wish I would have made a bigger deal of it earlier in our marriage. I would complain about how much he was playing, but I wish I would have pushed him to get help. I think the video games annoyed me more than watching TV would have. With the video games, headphones are on and they are totally absorbed in some fantasy world. The unfortunate thing with most of the those video games is that you can't only play for a few hours a week. They take huge amounts of time to keep your "level" up and help other people out on "missions". I tried pushing him into other hobbies like basketball (he playing in H.S.) but nothing was as exciting as video games. He also gained 50+ lbs during our marriage. I'm sure all the time he spent playing video games didn't help with that. Wishing you the best of luck!


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> I personally think they're a mindless waste of time. Frankly, I think it's odd when grown-ass men sit around and play them all day. That's just my opinion.


When you were dating and talked about your hobbies, did he mention how he likes gaming? Did you mention how strange, stupid, and unattractive you find gaming? I mean it's "just your opinion" but that's a major opinion about the hobby of your would be life partner. If this was your opinion all along, I just have to ask - why did you marry someone who likes video games?

As a gamer, I still understand he needs to have some boundaries - the constant bluetoothing with game folks is a bit much, calling in to work because of gaming is way over the top, so is having to debate spending time with you because of something going on game related. It's time to have a serious conversation about expectations of couple time and relationship investment. 

But that's more difficult when one person sees any time the other person spends on their hobby as pointless and childish.


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## MysticSoul (Mar 3, 2014)

My husband is an avid gamer. He prefers RP and fantasy games, and even has a pen-and-paper (like Dungeons and Dragons) game night with his friends every two weeks. When we first started dating, it infuriated me to NO END. Because it was like pulling teeth to get him to do ANYTHING. Shower. Clean the house. Be responsible. So on and so forth. 

I had to learn how to communicate effectively with him. He thought he could just play on the computer when I wanted to talk with him. But I remind him that to me, it is beyond disrespectful because I feel like he doesn't care about my needs, one of which is engaging in eye contact during conversations b/c to me that signals that he is engaged with me. 

So we worked out a schedule of when he can game. Turns out he prefers to game when I'm not home. When I'm home it's US time. and because he like to go out with his boys for half a day, one day a week (all day) is just for me. He also makes sure that he does everything that is asked or expected on him. And if I need help, he will give me a time frame and will stick to it. He became a man of his word, and met my needs with consistency. In turn, his gaming habits are no longer a problem. EVEN THOUGH he games about the same as before. 

I hope you and your husband can find a healthy middle ground.


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

Every time I read these stories about husbands who spend all their time on video games I shake my head.I know I am from a different generation(63yo)but marriage is still marriage.I cannot fathom playing a video game all night when u can play real games with your beautiful wife.I say after work he play for 1 hr and when you have to study or do homework he should sit with u and maybe help you if possible.he could also get u something to eat or drink if u want or just sit there and keep u company.let him watch jeopardy so he can learn while you are learning.he can do something as simple as read a book as long as he is keeping you company.it makes me laugh when these guys then wonder if their wife is fooling around.a little attention can go a long way.l wish you the best of luck with your husband and in your studies.


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

Woohoo.. a man after my own heart!!


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

Girls don't understand videogames. They're realists, men, ironically, are dreamers. As I play videogames, I'm transported to wonderful, colourful worlds where I don't feel like an insignificant cog in an meat grinder, I feel like a king! Look up 'RPG' and understand what it's like to be important.. even if it's just a fabrication.

If you were a rat in a cage and you had the most loving ratess with you, would you want to mingle with your other inmates or tap yourself into a VR machine and be super Ratman rockstar?


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

Men who play video games to much will get a dose of reality real quick when their wife serves them divorce papers and they scratch their head why.


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

101Abn said:


> Men who play video games to much will get a dose of reality real quick when their wife serves them divorce papers and they scratch their head why.


lol, men that far gone are already slaves to fantasy. If you think divorce papers are the motivation they need, you have no idea about men.

p.s. yes, I am an authority on the subject!


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

Divorce papers and a 2x4 might do it.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

101Abn said:


> Men who play video games to much will get a dose of reality real quick when their wife serves them divorce papers and they scratch their head why.



She can serve me over Xbox Live for all I care


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

101Abn said:


> Divorce papers and a 2x4 might do it.


lol... unlikely! You just don't get it do you.

Your 'gamer' husbands are the most loving empathetic people on the planet. They recede into their fantasies because they feel helpless to change anything of significance in their lives.

Their wives tell them what to do, the state tells them what to do, their bosses tell them what to do. These guys have enormous brains and potential - they could be world changers. But what do they get? Oh ffs, the dishes aren't done, you're not pulling in the money we need to pay off the mortgage etc etc.

Talk about squandering potential....


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## MysticSoul (Mar 3, 2014)

101Abn said:


> Men who play video games to much will get a dose of reality real quick when their wife serves them divorce papers and they scratch their head why.


Only if the husband is a) a complete tool, and selfish to boot, and b) if the WIFE doesn't communicate effectively to the husband. 

Over-zealous gaming is yet another thing where we've "been there, done that" and there ARE ways to effect change. But BOTH spouses have to be willing. It took a complete emotional breakdown, with sobbing, and soul bearing - NO ACCUSATIONS - from me for my husband to realize his GAME ADDICTION was hurting ME and our MARRIAGE. But he listened!! He cared! He was hurt thinking that I was hurt! So he set boundaries. And stuck to them. 



Applejuice said:


> Their wives tell them what to do, the state tells them what to do, their bosses tell them what to do. These guys have enormous brains and potential - they could be world changers. But what do they get? Oh ffs, the dishes aren't done, you're not pulling in the money we need to pay off the mortgage etc etc.


:iagree: And when I STOPPED phrasing things like that, and started encouraging and praising him when he did things, suddenly he wants to do them more now, and faster than before. His reliability shot through the roof.


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

Amen Mystic, we may be dreamers but we have a strong streak of righteousness. You'll never find a gamer who wants to hurt people, you'll only find a man who wants to be all he can be!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

MysticSoul said:


> Only if the husband is a) a complete tool, and selfish to boot, and b) if the WIFE doesn't communicate effectively to the husband.


Communicating effectively to the husband looked like "We have spoken. You have abandoned this marriage to your games. Change that now or I serve you the papers." That woke him up.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Applejuice said:


> Amen Mystic, we may be dreamers but we have a strong streak of righteousness. You'll never find a gamer who wants to hurt people, you'll only find a man who wants to be all he can be!


I am not sure I have ever heard anything as pathetic.


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> I am not sure I have ever heard anything as pathetic.


I think you're some sort of digital automaton.. why do you even bother frequenting TaM, you must have a procedural algorithm for every conceivable emotional symptom!

p.s. I really do hope you leave your husband for his sake!


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

You know what, I read these threads and i thank god that my husband has no interest really in computer games, I mean he will play the odd game of fifa with my teenage son who will beg him to play, but that is as far as it goes.... He does it to keep him entertained, and he really has no clue.....

One day my 17 year old was playing GTA my husband grabbed hold of the controller found some body armour and jumped in the water, when my son asked him what he was doing he told him he thought it was a life preserver.... See NO clue

I know what its like for my teenage sons girlfriend, he sits there playing xbox throughout the day and she just sits there, It must be so boring for her just watching a screen.... If i had to put up with it i wouldn't like it at all.... cant be much of a life.

I know people have their hobbies, but surely in moderation, I mean i love singing, but it would drive my husband nuts if i got out my mic every second and belted out sweet child of mine.

All day for hours upon end not good, I mean i would feel rather neglected if this was all my husband did all day.... Not healthy.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> I am not sure I have ever heard anything as pathetic.



I'm a gamer in my mid 50's, a responsible employed adult with a decade of college, an excellent father, etc. I also kick tail on Xbox etcetera. I'm very peaceful and in all aspects of my life I want to be the best I can be.


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## Applejuice (Feb 21, 2014)

melw74 said:


> I know what its like for my teenage sons girlfriend, he sits there playing xbox throughout the day and she just sits there, It must be so boring for her just watching a screen.... If i had to put up with it i wouldn't like it at all.... cant be much of a life.


Tada.. the gender differential...

How ironic, that women should often claim to be mistresses of emotional continuity.

Women are still fascinating to me and I love them as they sit in the corner and wonder 'what the f*ck are they getting out of this' whilst the men just immerse themselves in sh*t and wonder why their beloveds don't reciprocate.

I have no answers and I donlt know why we behave so differently in regards to videogames but I do know this. The richest men in the galaxy were and still are 'gamers'.

Sure, resent them, hate them, divorce them.. they will never stop being dreamers and if you think state-sanctioned arse wiping paper will make them any more mainstream, you deserve to end up with a wall street banker (who ironically, will be working for an ex-gamer nerd).


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I'm a guy who will soon be 40, so I had the exposure to video games growing up. I was never an avid gamer, but for a period of time in my 30s - maybe for roughly 3 to 4 years - I got into the strategy games on computers (Civilization). I let it get away from me and I'd spend too much time playing. As of now, I barely play video games. I do play Candy Crush, but that's it and normally it's my wife and I playing together. I now prefer to do something instead of play video games. My wife is more attracted to me now than she was 5 years ago. I changed a number of things about myself, with one of them being spending less time on the computer. Life's too short to waste it. JMHO.

My wife's cousin stepped out on her husband over video games. He preferred to play games, she preferred another man to play with her... Not saying what she did was right, but I will say bad things happen to those who neglect their spouse.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Applejuice said:


> Tada.. the gender differential...
> 
> How ironic, that women should often claim to be mistresses of emotional continuity.
> 
> ...


Uh huh. One of the biggest jokes on MMOs is that female gamers don't exist. Most people actually get that it's a joke.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

The fact is that many people find that gaming is a great way to 'relax' at home. Those who are the more physical types like to find more active ways to wind down, those who aren't inclined this way find more mental ways to wind down. Gaming in and of itself can be a great way to enjoy your time, however, if a person cannot do it in moderation, it is just as bad as many other addictions. It's unhealthy physically and mentally and causes relationships to break down. No point in arguing, that's just a fact. People have died due to gaming addictions, unbelievable as it is, and obviously this isn't that extreme, but at some point after 'good', there is 'not so good' then 'downright bad' effects.

This being a site dedicated to relationships, well, people are going to be rooting for the relationship, not the addiction to something that is hurting the relationship.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

breeze said:


> The fact is that many people find that gaming is a great way to 'relax' at home. Those who are the more physical types like to find more active ways to wind down, those who aren't inclined this way find more mental ways to wind down. Gaming in and of itself can be a great way to enjoy your time, however, if a person cannot do it in moderation, it is just as bad as many other addictions. It's unhealthy physically and mentally and causes relationships to break down. No point in arguing, that's just a fact. People have died due to gaming addictions, unbelievable as it is, and obviously this isn't that extreme, but at some point after 'good', there is 'not so good' then 'downright bad' effects.
> 
> This being a site dedicated to relationships, well, people are going to be rooting for the relationship, not the addiction to something that is hurting the relationship.


Moderation is the key. The thing about gaming is that it's not common for people to use moderation. It's almost an either/or situation - sadly. I think much of it is based on the connectivity these games have with others online that didn't exist when Nintendo, Sega and Atari came out. It's building relationships online that I think hooks people even more so than the vivid graphics offered today. You COULD even categorize it as a type of EA ("bromance"). Same dynamic with FB games where you can play games with a texting component. Since FB games are played by both males and females, real EA's can develop. Otherwise, very similar to gaming IMHO.


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## Baablacksheep (Aug 29, 2013)

As an avid COD player, I can tell you that the thought of my wife standing between me and the screen in her birthday suit is hotter than any old video game !!!!! Try it ladies, if your in decent physical shape he'll not turn that down.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Applejuice said:


> _*Your 'gamer' husbands are the most loving empathetic people on the planet. They recede into their fantasies because they feel helpless to change anything of significance in their lives.
> 
> Their wives tell them what to do, the state tells them what to do, their bosses tell them what to do. These guys have enormous brains and potential - they could be world changers. But what do they get? Oh ffs, the dishes aren't done, you're not pulling in the money we need to pay off the mortgage etc etc.*_
> 
> Talk about squandering potential....


I disagree. A little something from Corinthians for you. 

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me"

To me the definition of someone who can't deal with the real world and retreats into a fantasy one is a failure. I think anyone with these types of character flaws would have made a poor husband even before the first video game was invented. Men who can change the world are out there doing it, not playing video games.

How many of these guys wive's are going to bed lonely at night? That type of resentment is a relationship killer over time.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

What the OP described is immaturity from her H. He called in sick to work! 

I'm a female. I used to play video games. Think Everquest (for 8 years) and WoW. I had no kids, no husband. I was young and had zero responsibility. I really enjoyed my games.

Now, I'm married and have 3 kids. Video games do not even register on my list of things I get to do. I have to care for my kids. Clean my house, run errands, cook dinner, and in the evening time after my kids go to bed, I have to take care of my H's needs. No time for video games. 

That's the difference between living in the real world and living in a fantasy. If I were to continue my gaming, my H would be ignored, my house wouldn't be clean, dinner would happen like once a week. My H wouldn't be happy with this at all. 

Sometimes, you have to grow up for a little while. Calling in sick to work because you played a game for too long is not ok while you're married. If that's what you want to do, then don't add responsibilities like marriage to your life. If you want to be a gamer, be a gamer. A majority of the time though, you can't be a gamer that plays for hours every day and still be married to a happy partner.


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## UsernameHere (Sep 26, 2013)

Baablacksheep said:


> As an avid COD player, I can tell you that the thought of my wife standing between me and the screen in her birthday suit is hotter than any old video game !!!!! Try it ladies, if your in decent physical shape he'll not turn that down.


LOL - If my misses called in her UAV, I'd have to go in hard with my Predator Missile :smthumbup:


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

I think every husband (and wife) has their vices of some sort. Moderation is the key to whatever hobby you may have. I don't think there is anything wrong with a person of any age playing videos game at all. I remember as a kid being obsessed with this computer game that was like transformers but wasn't... anyways, my parents didn't get us any fancy shmancy game consoles, only a computer  My exboyfriend played World of Warcraft. Which is totally fine, but unfortunately it was because of him that i learned to sort of be put off by gamers... he played ALL THE TIME. And since that is a computer game, it required an internet connection. I remember one time he was supposed to pick me up from the airport, and unbeknownst to me he had stayed up all night playing WoW and FELL ASLEEP AT THE COMPUTER (haha) and so not only did he not wake up in time, but he couldn't be reached on the phone when i tried calling his house because the line was busy from the internet! This was also before the time when most people had cell phones, there were cell phones (I'm not THAT old  ) but not every person had them. Anyways, someone else had to come get me. It really gave me a distaste for gamers. Though he was kind of depressed and struggled through life for various reasons, so WoW was kind of his escape. 

My best friend (female) is a gamer of all kinds, and I love her just the same  So it's not always a bad thing. But boy was I grateful that my current husband doesn't really play vid games at all. I have a theory, and it doesn't involve those who game, just those that are "obsessed" (where they play excessively at the cost of other things in their life and it interferes). I just see that my ex wasn't really fulfilled in his life, and threw himself into his computer game world. And my husband is extremely fulfilled in his career and feels almost no need to play vid games. I've always wondered if there was a possible connection there.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> I disagree. A little something from Corinthians for you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I must be a 54 year old child then 

Likewise, my younger daughter is 18 going on 35... 

Someone oughta send a memo to the Corinthians... I see a huge difference between myself at mid 50s and my father at the same age. He retired from the Army at 55, I have my 30 years with the company and will do another 10. But most of it is attitude. 

By comparison my grandfather, John Sr. was a riot until he passed on at 80. Funniest guy ever. 

Guess which option I'm taking.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I think some people will always see it as childish, and some will see it as a fun hobby. My parents, for example, will never see it as anything but childish, but while they would sit and watch TV of a night, DH and I would sometimes rather play a game. We could argue that sitting there watching TV is just as bad of a reality escape as gaming, but people seem to think that it's fine to waste hours in front of the big screen. It's just another screen!

I grew up playing games and always loved it. When I moved onto Wow, it started to get too much, because some games require too much participation to keep up with if you're in a guild or raiding group etc. When you *have* to play to keep up rather than just playing when you want to, you know it's become a bad thing. So I gave up and have finally pushed DH into giving it up too. It was supposed to be fun, not another chore. We still play games sometimes, together, but there's no designated gaming nights anymore, there's no pressure, no expectations from other people. Freedom!


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Replace "Playing his stupid game" with "writing his novel".

Doesn't seem such a turn off then, does it? Same outcome in your relationship dynamics, though. If it were a novel, you would try to find a middle ground, somehow.


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## MysticSoul (Mar 3, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> Communicating effectively to the husband looked like "We have spoken. You have abandoned this marriage to your games. Change that now or I serve you the papers." That woke him up.


Why does it have to be an ultimatum?? Why DO x or DIVORCE(!)? Why not just approach your mate and say, "My needs are not being met. This needs to change. This is what I need." And give the gamer a CHANCE to make changes. If I had NEVER told my husband that my needs weren't being met, he wouldn't have known. Now that he knows, he makes sure my needs are being met. It's about compromise. He games during the week, or when I'm not home/asleep. Weekends are mine. He doesn't neglect his responsibilities. In fact he goes above and beyond to make sure I'm taken care of, like letting me sleep in on the weekends. He gets up a few hours before me, take care of ALL the animals, and then settles down to game until I wake up. As soon as I'm present, computer is off, and I have his full attention. 



breeze said:


> Uh huh. One of the biggest jokes on MMOs is that female gamers don't exist. Most people actually get that it's a joke.


I'm a girl and a gamer. WoW is my game of choice. Though lately, I haven't had the time to game, so it's fallen to the wayside. 



Baablacksheep said:


> As an avid COD player, I can tell you that the thought of my wife standing between me and the screen in her birthday suit is hotter than any old video game !!!!! Try it ladies, if your in decent physical shape he'll not turn that down.


Shoot. I'm not even in decent shape. But if were to make a pass at him, he would drop ANYTHING and jump on that gravy train. 



ReformedHubby said:


> How many of these guys wive's are going to bed lonely at night? That type of resentment is a relationship killer over time.


Not this one. 



staarz21 said:


> That's the difference between living in the real world and living in a fantasy. If I were to continue my gaming, my H would be ignored, my house wouldn't be clean, dinner would happen like once a week. My H wouldn't be happy with this at all.
> 
> Sometimes, you have to grow up for a little while. Calling in sick to work because you played a game for too long is not ok while you're married. If that's what you want to do, then don't add responsibilities like marriage to your life. If you want to be a gamer, be a gamer. A majority of the time though, you can't be a gamer that plays for hours every day and still be married to a happy partner.


In our relationship, it's all about time management. Responsibilities come first, that is the part that requires you to grow up. But after responsibilities are taken care of, why not game in your free time? It's like any other hobby.

And you can totally do it even with marriage responsibilities.


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## sweetheartbreaking (Sep 29, 2013)

This is one of the addiction of my bf. I feel you.. Im so sorry. I cried one night that we had plans to watch a movie and he told me "oh baby I will play my friend, i told him already we are playing and he is waiting right now blah blah" and I went to bed sighing. I hate arguments so I let it go but it accumulates and the anger inside of us will explode in some other issues. Be strong. I am dealing with the same thing.. and so many other things. I hope you will talk to him.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

say "no more video games while i am home. if you play them, i will find a way to destroy the console". 

i have done things like that before... it starts an argument and it costs me some money as i get things replaced or repaired, but my wife doesnt blow me off. im fully willing to discuss things and negotiate, but i am not willing to be ignored.

come up with something, explain what you will do, then follow through. once you make it clear what you will do, and that you will actually do it, its on your spouse to make the decision to either listen or deal with the consequences. 

it takes a lot of the frustration out because you know what you will do about it. 

just dont give the warning and back out later on. do what you say you will.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Hmm, my son used to try destroy stuff when he didn't get his own way.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

MysticSoul said:


> Why does it have to be an ultimatum?? Why DO x or DIVORCE(!)? Why not just approach your mate and say, "My needs are not being met. This needs to change. This is what I need." And give the gamer a CHANCE to make changes. If I had NEVER told my husband that my needs weren't being met, he wouldn't have known. Now that he knows, he makes sure my needs are being met. It's about compromise. He games during the week, or when I'm not home/asleep. Weekends are mine. He doesn't neglect his responsibilities. In fact he goes above and beyond to make sure I'm taken care of, like letting me sleep in on the weekends. He gets up a few hours before me, take care of ALL the animals, and then settles down to game until I wake up. *As soon as I'm present, computer is off, and I have his full attention. *
> 
> In our relationship, it's all about time management. Responsibilities come first, that is the part that requires you to grow up. But after responsibilities are taken care of, why not game in your free time? It's like any other hobby.
> 
> And you can totally do it even with marriage responsibilities.



Mystic you are describing your situation. Its great that things are working for you but they aren't for the OP. I'm pretty sure she has told him how he feels, the problem is he isn't listening.

She does NOT have his full attention when she is present.

I may be in the minority here but I hold men to a higher standard. If your wife is working on a masters degree to better herself for the future and make a better life for the both of you, playing video games shouldn't be your priority. You should be doing your part to better yourself too.


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## MysticSoul (Mar 3, 2014)

ReformedHubby said:


> Mystic you are describing your situation. Its great that things are working for you but they aren't for the OP. I'm pretty sure she has told him how he feels, the problem is he isn't listening.
> 
> She does NOT have his full attention when she is present.


Ok. Then outline CLEAR consequences. 

-If I ask you to get off the computer, and you DO NOT listen to me, I will take away ALL of your games. (Like you're grounding him). 

You don't have to break anything. IMO, breaking consoles/computers/phones because your spouse isn't getting off them, will escalate the situation. 

Have they tried MC? So an unbiased third party can explain WHY the OP is so upset about the gaming? And how they, as a couple, can meet in the middle? 

I apologize, if I wasn't being helpful. My intention was to explain setting up a compromise between parties.


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

Threads like this make me feel so lucky my wife loves video games too. Neither of us have a problem sitting with the other that is playing. Heck xbox is how I usually keep in contact with some of my friends back home half way cross country. And not going to like both me and the wife have skipped class/call out of work when a new game came out in the past. I'll play a game for a few hours a day but before I go to bed my 'to do' list in my head has all the boxes check off.

If a guy is handling his responsibilities at work and around the house, and doesn't neglect his wife and kids I don't see what the problem is. And if he is neglectful that's a problem with him not gaming itself. If it wasn't gaming it could be working on the car in the garage, working out at the gym, hanging with your own friends, etc.

And FYI the average age of video gamers in 2011 was 37. It's not just for kids anymore. And if I was with someone who didn't like gaming and she had the balls to go and break my console or computer instead of speaking up like a damn adult we'd be done.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

These are the types of situations that are aggravating. The OP's husband is acting like a loser that is seriously neglecting the marriage and his spouses needs. If the OP seeks attention elsewhere, and the OP's husband starts a thread about how his wife is seeking the attention of another man, everyone would tell the loser gamer how "he deserves better" and how he needs to "dump her and find someone better who would be more attentive to his needs". 

OP, make sure you stick to your principles and not cheat out of frustration. Don't let this linger to the point where you build too much resentment against your husband.


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> These are the types of situations that are aggravating. The OP's husband is acting like a loser that is seriously neglecting the marriage and his spouses needs. If the OP seeks attention elsewhere, and the OP's husband starts a thread about how his wife is seeking the attention of another man, everyone would tell the loser gamer how "he deserves better" and how he needs to "dump her and find someone better who would be more attentive to his needs".
> 
> *OP, make sure you stick to your principles and not cheat out of frustration. Don't let this linger to the point where you build too much resentment against your husband.*


He would deserve better than being cheated on if it would really come to that. No one deserves it, no matter how sh!tty a spouse they are. If your spouse is being neglectful or whatever the problem is, speak to them about it and don't let them stick their head in the sand on it. If no improvements are made or attempted its time to start thinking divorce. As a gamer myself neglecting your spouse for it (or any hobby really) after they brought it to your attention deserves to get left. I totally agree with the bolded part. Cheating wouldn't make the problem go away and would lead to divorcing anyway or making that much harder to solve after the fact.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

breeze said:


> Hmm, my son used to try destroy stuff when he didn't get his own way.


is that a jab at me?

well thank you :smthumbup:
its good to be loved!

seriously though, i will do whatever it takes to make sure our relationship succeeds. my wife falls into depression when she sits around too long and lets things go. 

im not going to just sit here and watch her waste away. i can easily replace computers, games, vehicles, etc. 

i cannot replace her.


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## struggle (May 13, 2013)

Be clear and specific about what you want. Tell him how you see it and how it makes you feel. Ask him to hear you out before he jumps in. Then hear his reasoning. He probably won't have much considering he's playing during all his free time, which is ridiculous for a grow man. I understand, I come from a family of gamers. I played Everquest, DAOC, and loads other PC and counsel games. This includes my parents. I remember when I was in my teenage years I grew out of it (social life became more important), but parents played in all their free time. I remember the feeling I got when I would sit next to my mom and try and talk to her about something and her eyes barely left the screen. I would get so frustrated. So I understand. My parents still play...they have top level and top gear in Star Wars and are PvP fanatics. Even now I play some XBox but I can only take it for so long. So pretty much once a gamer always a gamer haha

But I think he's being addictive, and even more worrisome is that he doesn't seem to care that it bothers you. Which is less of a focus on gaming and more on his behavior and the way he treats you. So my best advice is to have that sit down conversation with him. His response and actions afterwards will tell you more...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

this is my advice...


first, try talking about it. be completely honest. tell him exactly how it makes you feel when he plays video games. even if its when you are doing homework. if i am correct, then the issue is not the fact that he plays video games when you are busy. its the fear that video games will become more important than you. 

ill tell you a story of what my wife and i do. we hold each other accountable. right now, my wife controls our internet. she has an app that will allow her to cut off the internet whenever she pleases. now, my name is on the account for our internet provider, so if she cancels the internet through the app, all i would have to really do is get a new router and i could log back on. but, when i started getting overwhelmed by my studies in the arabic language, she started to suffer. 

i started watching tv shows online. i have never really had a TV. so, when my buddies at work talked about shows that they liked, i got interested and looked them up. 

i would spend an entire weekend watching episode after episode. i had never had a TV before... i easily got pulled in by an interesting show... but, in doing so, i started neglecting her. 

what did she do about it? she learned from one of my tricks...

there are a few things that i will not tolerate. throwing a ring at me is one of them. to me, its a statement that the marriage is not worth working on. it means " i give up". so, the last time she threw her ring at me, i told her that if she ever did it again, she would not get it back. the next time she did it, it ended up with the gold pieces in this pic:
(the silver band is the band i wear now. their are two gold bands in it. hers and mine.)









i told her i would destroy them if she did it again. i did not hold any resentment, i had said my piece. 

she did the exact same thing with me when i got pulled into various shows. she told me what she would do. she would cut the internet off, and if i found a way to get it back without addressing her issues first, she would cut the cable for our internet. 

i listened to her. i kinda figured that she would do it. she has never thrown her wedding band at me since i cut the last one up. she thinks about it now. because of that, i feel like she knows that if she makes a decision, the best thing to do is to stick to it. so, i listen to her. 

because of that, i know that she knows how to make herself heard. i know there is a consequence in place if i neglect her like i did before. 

my wife will no longer tolerate me sitting around neglecting her. she knows exactly what she will do if i start neglecting her again. that makes it much easier on her. 

i know what i will do if she neglects me again. that makes it much easier on me. 


just set a consequence and follow through. be clear about it, so that he knows that if he does action A, he will receive action B.


and good luck. i truly hope you can figure this out. it sucks to feel neglected...


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

curlyfry said:


> My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We are both in our late 20's and I can't stand the fact that he's obsessed with video games. First let me say that I hate video games (he's probably contributed to my hatred of them). I personally think they're a mindless waste of time. Frankly, I think it's odd when grown-ass men sit around and play them all day. That's just my opinion.
> 
> 
> Maybe I have no right to resent his hobby but I still just can't help but to feel like it's such a waste of time. Feel free to share your thoughts.


First, I hate when women use the "its so childish" card. My hobby and passion is videogames. My wife tried pulling that "childish" crap on me. I was a kid for playing videogames but she was a grown ass woman getting excited for teenagers on "The Hills" and loves watching crap like The Kartrashians and Real Housewives. Tell me which is the better use of time?

Second, all hobbies are a waste of time. Doesnt matter if its games, instruments, whatever. You do hobbies to waste time on something you enjoy doing.

If your man is paying more attention to videogames than you, well then you are doing something very wrong.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I am not video game obsessed but like to play from time to time. The two things that do bother me about it from the spouses prospective is:
1) You knew they were like that before you married so seems like a typical I'm going to marry this guy and change him mentality....sorry doesn't work that way.
2) it's an activity and hobby. Like any activity or hobby it can be overdone. It's would seem that some women don't "get" why some guys love video games. To them it's stupid and a waste of time. Got news for you, I think anyone who watches the bachelor or bachelorette or any reality tv show is about the same.

Point is everyone has their thing to escape their boring life. For me it's hiking and I'm sure some would think that's stupid. Let people be themselves. If you don't like who they are don't marry them!!


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

hawx20 said:


> First, I hate when women use the "its so childish" card. My hobby and passion is videogames. My wife tried pulling that "childish" crap on me. I was a kid for playing videogames but she was a grown ass woman getting excited for teenagers on "The Hills" and loves watching crap like The Kartrashians and Real Housewives. Tell me which is the better use of time?
> 
> Second, all hobbies are a waste of time. Doesnt matter if its games, instruments, whatever. You do hobbies to waste time on something you enjoy doing.
> 
> If your man is paying more attention to videogames than you, well then you are doing something very wrong.


One of my early research papers was on MMO addiction. (Massive Multiplayer Online games like World of Warcraft).

It's real and significant. It happens to men AND women. OP's husband is an addict. He can't step away from it and would go through real withdrawal if, lets say, they lost power for a week and he couldn't play. 

Video games, in and of themselves, are not the problem. It's the addictive personalities of some people. You can replace the words video games with "working on cars" "drinking at the bar" "reading a steamy romance novel" "watching sports" etc. How many people do you think call out of work in a couple Thursdays from now due to March Madness? And how many women spent many hours a day reading 50 shades? Quite a few. One addiction isn't more childish or less than another. It's just different.


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## struggle (May 13, 2013)

hawx20 said:


> If your man is paying more attention to videogames than you, well then you are doing something very wrong.


Really....? I cannot say the OP is perfect, but what gives him the right to put video games over her? So his behavior is her fault? I think not



Wolf1974 said:


> I am not video game obsessed but like to play from time to time. The two things that do bother me about it from the spouses prospective is:
> 1) You knew they were like that before you married so seems like a typical I'm going to marry this guy and change him mentality....sorry doesn't work that way.
> 2) it's an activity and hobby. Like any activity or hobby it can be overdone. It's would seem that some women don't "get" why some guys love video games. To them it's stupid and a waste of time. Got news for you, I think anyone who watches the bachelor or bachelorette or any reality tv show is about the same.
> 
> Point is everyone has their thing to escape their boring life. For me it's hiking and I'm sure some would think that's stupid. Let people be themselves. If you don't like who they are don't marry them!!


:iagree: Good points. You cannot change people, if the the OP saw her H acting like this before marriage, this will be a lesson.

Nothing wrong with playing games in your free time, but from what I'm understanding he's doing it 'all the time'. Like when he's not sleeping he's playing. 
Just thinking about coming home everyday to always see my H sitting in his gaming chair with his eyes glued to the screen and barely a 'hi' when I walk in gives me shivers. That man better stand up give me a big fat kiss...and finish his level or get to a place where he can save or whatever so I can be with my man. Unless of course I'm leaving again, or going to do my own thing like do my own hobby or whatever. Definitely something that needs to be communicated, like if two evenings a week and his Saturday mornings he wanted to spend his time video gaming away..I wouldn't have a problem with that. But everyday?? No..... Unless you video game together I suppose, if that's your thing. But her H should be making time for things they can to do together, and also to be a participant in the marriage. Video gaming zones you out....she must feel very ignored.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

Everything needs to be in moderation, but in OP's case her H was certainly over the top. 
I do a bit of gaming, mainly because TV has gotten so bad and so commercial ridden it's not worth watching. However, my gaming doesn't happen until the dishes are done lunches made and kids in bed(when I have them).
By day I sit behind a desk and shuffle paper, but a hour or so each night, I am Yuriy Kolobonov, a highly decorated Heavy Tank commander of the USSR lol


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## trilobite (Jan 1, 2014)

hawx20 said:


> Second, all hobbies are a waste of time. Doesnt matter if its games, instruments, whatever. You do hobbies to waste time on something you enjoy doing.


I have a friend whose hobby is woodworking. He can build things with his hands that are useful to other people and give them joy. He enjoys doing that. Is that a waste of time? Another friend plays the guitar at open mic nights and writes songs. It fulfills him and makes others happy. Is he wasting his time? I could go on.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

hawx20 said:


> First, I hate when women use the "its so childish" card.
> 
> If your man is paying more attention to videogames than you, well then you are doing something very wrong.


Wait a second. My H would say video games are childish too if I were playing them for hours on end. The childish crap can come from any gender, not just women. 

And to say that SHE is doing something wrong because her husband can't step away from video games is ridiculous! He is replacing her with video games, that's not her fault. You don't know if she's tried everything to get him to pay attention to her.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

MysticSoul said:


> Ok. Then outline CLEAR consequences.
> 
> -If I ask you to get off the computer, and you DO NOT listen to me, I will take away ALL of your games. (Like you're grounding him).


Gee, there's turn on for a woman.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Refuse to be played said:


> He would deserve better than being cheated on if it would really come to that. No one deserves it, no matter how sh!tty a spouse they are. If your spouse is being neglectful or whatever the problem is, speak to them about it and don't let them stick their head in the sand on it. If no improvements are made or attempted its time to start thinking divorce. As a gamer myself neglecting your spouse for it (or any hobby really) after they brought it to your attention deserves to get left. I totally agree with the bolded part. Cheating wouldn't make the problem go away and would lead to divorcing anyway or making that much harder to solve after the fact.


Did the OP indicate in any way she was thinking about cheating?


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## MysticSoul (Mar 3, 2014)

pink_lady said:


> Gee, there's turn on for a woman.


Better than throwing a tantrum and breaking things, which is what was previously advocated in the posts above mine.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I'm about to get divorced (from a guy who was "a dreamer" who eventually refused to work or make any effort in the marriage).

A love of video games would rule out a potential date immediately for me. 

I spend most of my non-working time working with 2 community groups I started (lobbying, public health education, animal advocacy). Personally I would not be able to relate to, nor could I get turned on by a man who craves retreat into a virtual fantasy world as a way to deal with life. 

Maybe it sounds preachy, but what if more people spent their extra time trying to help other beings and the earth instead of being motivated only to pursue their own personal pleasure? In the end it's 100 times more fulfilling anyway.


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> Did the OP indicate in any way she was thinking about cheating?


No she didn't. My post was in response to the 'what if?' post I quoted.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I can so see retreating into Angry Birds as a way to avoid reality. 

Maybe if I could build a giant sling in my backyard able to lob shrub sized projectiles to annoying neighbors... 

No, of course. Some of us see video games as the purest form of self improvement. I have been playing backgammon for 45 years. With online games I can really (a) see how good I am compared to others, human or computer, and (b) learn and improve.

No alternate reality exists...


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

It's an escape from reality, not an alternate reality, lol, that's a pretty big distinction.

I play games, so no point in pulling the, "you don't know what you're talking about" card. Just like reading novels, playing games is a way to not think about your own life for a while and not do the stuff that you don't feel like doing, hence the term, 'escape reality'.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

john117 said:


> I can so see retreating into Angry Birds as a way to avoid reality.
> 
> Maybe if I could build a giant sling in my backyard able to lob shrub sized projectiles to annoying neighbors...
> 
> ...


I want to like this 1000 times.

My 6 year old LOVES angry birds. His mom turns to him to help her get through levels.

I saw him walking outside with a bunch of rubber bands, I was about to stop him but I wanted to see what he was going to do. He was trying to make a sling shot at the top of his slide in his playscape. I asked him why?

"To see if I can catch air off the first bump"

You'll find gamers are usually pretty creative LOL.

If someone wants to knock playing video games...how do you feel about watching Television. There's even less thought that goes into TV. What about reading books?

They are all the same thing...personal entertainment.

But it's also in moderation. Anything done to excess or to the detriment of your family is bad. Gaming, TV, books, music, even serving the greater good.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

*Shrugs* Everything you do is a waste of time. Why not enjoy life?
Some people waste their time on facebook. Some people waste their time on books. Some waste their time on pinterest. Some waste their time on video games. Are videogames threatening you in any way? Maybe play with him?? It's not like its porn, chickie. Haha, actually, some girls really hate video games.. They don't bother me I guess. 

Another thing - I've got a 5 year old I raised playing video games. He's now in kindergarten, reading at a 7th grade level, able to do math, addition, multiplication and division. He can browse the internet. Videogames are good for your brain because of the interaction.

You gotta blow up on him. You gotta tell him to put the controller down and spend some ****in time with you.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

staarz21 said:


> Wait a second. My H would say video games are childish too if I were playing them for hours on end. The childish crap can come from any gender, not just women.
> 
> And to say that SHE is doing something wrong because her husband can't step away from video games is ridiculous! He is replacing her with video games, that's not her fault. You don't know if she's tried everything to get him to pay attention to her.


I read the post to be saying that if he's putting the games before her then TOGETHER they are doing something wrong: he's doing it, she's allowing it.


I must be a very odd woman here... My husband was playing WoW. I hated it at the start... then I started sitting with him, watching while he played. Then I started a character on his account. Then she got transferred to my own account. And we played together until we had to put the money toward other things. But we are in agreement: once we are able, we will be going back to gaming. It was somethign we enjoyed doing together. Yes, it can get out of hand... if you let it. The key is, as others have said, moderation. Even a "grown ass woman" with kids can play video games... I didn't start playing until I was 32!


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Yeah same, I played wow for awhile, years even. Now I play... bejeweled.. Lol


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

kipani said:


> Yeah same, I played wow for awhile, years even. Now I play... bejeweled.. Lol


i play wow too. a buddy of mine got me into it. my wife plays it. she has been playing it since vanilla. i came in with the start of wrath. 


still though, i start to lose my patience after about half an hour on it. thats why i only have one 90 toon after five years.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

As'laDain said:


> i play wow too. a buddy of mine got me into it. my wife plays it. she has been playing it since vanilla. i came in with the start of wrath.
> 
> 
> still though, i start to lose my patience after about half an hour on it. thats why i only have one 90 toon after five years.


I started playing near the end of BC. We stopped just before Pandas lol. Waiting for the next expansion and plan to get Pandas and the new one and game time. That will be sure to limit our time lol. If we can't buy a game card, we can't play! 

I didn't raid until Naxx 25, and I was never truly a hard core raider. I prefer questing/dailies and picking flowers (herbalism) lol.


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## MysticSoul (Mar 3, 2014)

Maricha75 said:


> I started playing near the end of BC. We stopped just before Pandas lol. Waiting for the next expansion and plan to get Pandas and the new one and game time. That will be sure to limit our time lol. If we can't buy a game card, we can't play!
> 
> I didn't raid until Naxx 25, and I was never truly a hard core raider. I prefer questing/dailies and picking flowers (herbalism) lol.


I play WoW too! My husband got me started in BC about three months before Wrath came out. I raided in wrath, but decided it wasn't worth the time commitment. I play off-and-on these days. I prefer leveling toons and my guild.I'm up to like 5-6 level 90s now. But most of them have been "in the works" since 2008. 

My husband left WoW for ToR (Star Wars: The Old Republic) because it fit his gaming style better (he is a MAJOR RPer), but he left that to go back to paper-and-pen gaming via DnD and Pathfinder. He DMs on a gaming site for people all over to join "paper-and-pen" games. He really likes it. It lets him be creative, and use his imagination. He also relieves stress that way.


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## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

I can relate somewhat. My husband is a big time gamer. He'll play almost anything for hours at a time. But the thing with us is I have always dated gamers. I just think most of them are nicer and less of douchbags (shrugs) When we met, I knew he was a gamer and I accepted that. Don't get me wrong though. There are times when it aggravates me to no end because he could literally be playing 2 things at 1 time and I'll want him to be with me and watch a movie or something. But we have other things in common that we do or talk about and that part I love, so the video games aren't a big issue. You guys really need to talk. Maybe do something like ask him which is more important, you or the silly games and make him prove it by going a whole entire week without it so you guys can rekindle the romance. Good luck and don't let stupid games ruin a marriage that is supposed to last a lifetime.

Ps: I play certain games as well, so I guess that's why we mesh so well. Try and find a game you both can like


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Heh, well, now I know who to talk to if I need help with leveling/questing/dungeons, when I start playing again, right MysticSoul & As'laDain (and Akinaura)?


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## ComicBookLady (Feb 28, 2012)

I'm actually the gamer in the relationship, though I don't have much time to play these days (too much work to do!). But I can EASILY become lost in games if I'm not careful. Games are escapism, and give you a sense of achievement (no matter how false). It's pure, thoughtless enjoyment with no pressure.

I am guessing your husband is escaping life and feels unfulfilled somewhere. Men like to be appreciated for the things they DO, so if he's not doing anything, then he's not getting a sense of achievement anywhere but in his games.

I don't have a fix for you, other than to have a heart to heart with him, and see where the hole in his life could be, and try to talk about it. Focus on him, in order to keep him open and talking. Most men become closed once the woman starts to give her feelings, so keep them for a later conversation of their own. Once you know what's missing, talk with him on things you think he'd like to do in his life, and see if you can help. Is he feeling like he never accomplished anything in his life so far? Then what is his passion in life? How can you help foster it?


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

playing RPGs and such is a bit different than multiplayer first person shooters...

there are three types of gamers: those who play multiplayer games and couldnt imagine playing buy themselves, and those who play games by themselves. 

all of them can get equally wrapped up, but those who play games for the social experience and friendly competition can usually be pulled away by fun companionship. 

for instance, my brother plays Call of Duty and Halo. he got the games and never even touched the actual in-game story. he just likes playing with his buddies, taunting them, competing with them, etc. for him, its kinda the same as a guys night out from the comfort of his own home. he doesn't play nearly as much anymore because his wife is constantly offering to do fun stuff with him. 

its the social experience that does it for him. his wife gives him that social experience, so he doesn't feel the need to game with his buddies nearly as much anymore.

i used to be a solo kinda guy, but i have become far more social than i used to and multi-player games are starting to appeal to me. still, i feel very little desire to play now because i have an active social life, and because my wife does a lot of fun stuff with me. 

the other kind of gamer is the one who can play alone for hours and hours. generally speaking, they play to see what happens next. its like reading good book that you just cant put down. i used to be that kinda gamer. 
coincidentally, they are also usually the kind of people who will find a new show and spend every free minute watching it until they have seen all of it...


the last kind are true casual gamers. they have no problem dropping a game in an instant, even half way through. they usually only game because they are bored.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

True that. I occasionally play Halo multiplayer but my comrades are all too eager to martyr themselves and go at it again. Me, being twice their age, I prefer to think first and shoot afterwards. This works well but is slower than they prefer. There's a lot of adrenaline involved...


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

People have a god-given right to play video games; however, if they are not playing COD then divorce them! 

My girls choice of game is Fable and mines is COD. We both are in graduate school with good GPA's, we both get along great, we both go out all the time together and with friends, we both are responsible. 

If I had some woman nagging at me because I am playing COD rather than spooning and watching some bullsh*t movie like Twilight, I would pack my bags. My buddies wife screams at him every time he logs on the PS3 because watching The Real Housewives, Bachelor, American Idol, etc etc is what 'mature folks' do. *Yawn* I rather kill myself. 

I am sorry that I am actually being productive and engaged in interaction with other folks while you lay on the couch watching FAKE shows of people making millions and millions of dollars to script act. 

However, I never understand why guys compromise? Just get rid of the woman and find one that you can brag about.


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