# Mystery



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

My recent girlfriend mentioned to me that one of the aspects she liked about me was me being mysterious.

So ok, the mystery game works.

But... long term, is this a sign of bad things to come? What would happen if I'm out of mysteries?


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> My recent girlfriend mentioned to me that one of the aspects she liked about me was me being mysterious.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Then just dump her and get a new FWB.


----------



## MSalmoides (Sep 29, 2016)

...


----------



## KJ_Simmons (Jan 12, 2016)

That she finds you mysterious is a good thing. I think a bit of mystery about your partner helps foster a healthy relationship. When you cross the line and lay it all out there and begin to discuss each others bowel movements at the dinner table, all mystery is effectively gone, and you gotta wonder what that does to attraction levels. 

I wouldn't make a concerted effort to maintain this "mystery". Just keep working on yourself and have an active life outside your relationship and she should find you interesting enough.


----------



## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

"*Recent girlfriend*"? So she is gone?


----------



## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

You can always invent a mystery.

If things get really desperate pretend to lose your toothbrush.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> My recent girlfriend mentioned to me that one of the aspects she liked about me was me being mysterious.
> 
> So ok, the mystery game works.
> 
> But... long term, is this a sign of bad things to come? What would happen if I'm out of mysteries?


You can read the Hardy Boys books. Full of mystery. So is Scoobie Doo. Good stuff.


----------



## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

I'll play all sorts of guessing games with my GF.

I'll get home and say "guess what I received from Ebay today". Something for the house, or the holidays, or whatever, I'm always ordering stuff.

Guess who I saw/heard from/spoke to the other day?

You'll never guess what happened to me on the way to work/at the office/on the way home.

Etc Etc

It never gets old


----------



## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> My recent girlfriend mentioned to me that one of the aspects she liked about me was me being mysterious.
> 
> So ok, the mystery game works.
> 
> But... long term, is this a sign of bad things to come? What would happen if I'm out of mysteries?


I've had this said about me often. A lot of women like this, at least early on in a relationship. They like the effort of finding out the answers to the mysteries they see in you. 

I don't think it's a bad thing long term unless you're like I used to be, and you never let them find the answers...


----------



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

As long as she doesn't find out that you used the candlestick to kill the maid in the ballroom, you will remain a mystery


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I've always preferred a radical honesty/ a best friend sort of romance ...with "bantering" over mystery any day..... could never understand women like that.. since you frown and get sickened by too much vulnerability and always need so much "cave time"...she's surely a good fit for you then... 

I had to like this post by @MSalmoides - as all those things would just pizz me off.. 



MSalmoides said:


> I've always wondered about what women find "mysterious." I mean, if you don't tell them how you feel, they don't like it. If you hide things, they don't like it. If you don't talk about your past, they don't like it. If you don't talk about your day, they don't like it. What, exactly, is mysterious to women that won't piss them off when they discover the mystery?
> 
> ~MS


----------



## MSalmoides (Sep 29, 2016)

...


----------



## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Women who like "mysterious" men are typically just looking for excitement, and possibly drama. Someone who wants to build a long-term relationship doesn't like having mysteries about.


----------



## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Yeah, mysterious borders too closely on untrustworthy to me. I'd much rather someone found me intriguing.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Life is one hard reality after another.

Mystery is a fantasy man who is whatever you want him to be.

Until he opens his mouth or wallet....and all that comes out are Luna Moths.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

MSalmoides said:


> I've always wondered about what women find "mysterious." I mean, if you don't tell them how you feel, they don't like it. If you hide things, they don't like it. If you don't talk about your past, they don't like it. If you don't talk about your day, they don't like it. What, exactly, is mysterious to women that won't piss them off when they discover the mystery?



Oh, I find I enjoy lots of the mystery my SO has going on. It's so intriguing that it's a mystery as to whether or not he farts or picks his nose. I love the mystery of not knowing too much about his bathroom habits. The mystery of how his socks and underwear get from his body to the laundry hamper is sexy as hell. And the fact that I have no idea how his house gets clean or his laundry gets done sends me over the moon. I just adore a mysterious man!


----------



## MSalmoides (Sep 29, 2016)

...


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I find this abit annoying, on one hand I am flattered, on the other I feel like closing up so to maintain this "mystery"...

It was a 4 month window before she met me after she broke up with her boyfriend, she's a stunner, and has no problems with men drooling all over her, making me worry what would happen if attraction levels fade - am I to be just as easy to replace? She assures me that she's not the type to leave a relationship, and she mentioned was the one left behind (in which case her previous boyfriend must have been blind), also mentioned that mystery isn't the only thing she likes about me and she only mentioned it because it set me apart from the other guys proposing to her, and that she likes me now for many other reasons.

I wouldn't say I have been dishonest with her, that's just not my style, but I don't like laying the cards on the table, and I keep my promises, one thing she noticed. Besides since divorce I've adopted a very independent lifestyle, I need my space, and she's actually the opposite in that - she messages me every day, she takes under a minute to respond to my texts, if anything I'm having issues trying to get her to leave me alone.

But even though she can be abit clingy, she's hot as fk (9.5/10), non-materialistic, passionate, fun, and very affectionate... so I can forgive that.

Just... my mystery game can't last forever


----------



## HurtWithHope (Nov 21, 2016)

Everyone is different... but in my own experience and view, having mystery can draw you in but is not a long term need (and oftentimes unwanted). For me once I start a relationship i can't say I like mystery as I like connection and openness, but mystery can make you want to get to know a person in the first place. In my current relationship, it was actually my boyfriend who was drawn to me being mysterious... I wasn't trying to be coy, I just had my reasons to be private. I honestly thought this would turn him away in the beginning pursuit stages... but it made him want to crack my code even more. But now that we are established that would only cause issues. So I guess the main point I am trying to make is while mystery can be fun and exciting for a while, i prefer openness to mystery in the long term.


----------

