# Healed



## UsagiNeko (Aug 15, 2012)

A year ago, I joined this forum and made this post about my separation from my ex husband. Things have changed so much since then, but the good news is that I have healed and am now a different person.

We ended up getting divorced, which was finalized a month ago. Despite my effort to stay his friend after we broke up, he continued to hurt me, and slap me in the face with the news that he had started dating the woman he cheated on me with (my ex-best friend). Despite his "apologies" for hurting me the way he did, it was all words, cuz lo and behold he told me that I HAD to accept his relationship with her otherwise we could not be friends. Welp, needless to say I walked out on him the moment he said that. I had been considering ending our friendship for a while before then, and that was the trigger. I was done with him. This man who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with now feels like an egotistical stranger. 

I've mastered the 180 and have taken control of my own life again. I spend time with real friends now, friends that I didn't fully get to know and love until after I ended my friendship with my ex. I have a job now too caring for kids before and after school. I finished therapy, ceased taking my depression medication. My life is so much better, and it mainly due to the fact he's not in my life anymore. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I also have you guys to thank for the helpful advice I got last year. I read back at the comments and realize that you've all helped pull me through what I think was the worst trial of my life. Thanks again


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Isn't it amazing how differently one's outlook is when all of the stress and pressure of a bad relationship is gone?  It makes room for all of the wonderful things in life! Congrats for getting to a much better place. The road is rough but the rewards are worth it.


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## tug (Sep 1, 2013)

I feel that old lovers cant be good friends, not immediately after the divorce/separation anyway. One person is always going to care about the other more. I feel the best thing to do is sever all contact if possible and let yourself heal. Once you get to a point where you can think of that person and not have any feelings (positive or negative) than maybe allow a friendship to form. If the break up ended badly the best thing to do is block the other person out of your life completely. I cant see allowing someone who hurt me to such a degree to ever be my friend kind of like my ex.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

I agree, but what do you do if you have kids together, even grown kids? I know we will have to share some important life events, weddings, graduations, grandchildren. I guess the best I can do is keep him out of my life as long as I can, then just grin and bear the time I need to be around him. After 30 years together, it just seems like its going to take so long to get over this, I will likely be too old to care


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## DADX2 (Oct 29, 2013)

Good for you! Nice work


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## Mrlonelyhearts (Apr 12, 2012)

Thanks for the message of healing and moving on in life.


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