# how do you have sex with children in the house?



## marriage_student (Nov 24, 2015)

i've always wondered- when do you have sex if you have children?
do you just accept that they can hear it (cos i'd think it would be easy to hear bed springs at night/morning - cos no tv is on) or do you have to wait until they're out of the house (they at school or at a party etc). 
or do you do it in the shower together?
i mastubate in the shower but its 100 times better in bed.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

You go into the bedroom and lock the door.

Easy peasy.


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## marriage_student (Nov 24, 2015)

^ but don't the springs make a noise?
mine do.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

If you turn on the right cartoon, they won't hear even hear you screaming in their ear, much less bed springs.


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## marriage_student (Nov 24, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> If you turn on the right cartoon, they won't hear even hear you screaming in their ear, much less bed springs.


fair enough.
my girlfriend hasn't discussed children yet, but if she does i guess it would be ok if cartoons are enough.


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## NoSizeQueen (Sep 9, 2015)

You've been together for a few days. It's a little early to plan for kids.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Have you read the threads here? There is no sex after kids. I think it may be a federal law or something.


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## marriage_student (Nov 24, 2015)

NoSizeQueen said:


> You've been together for a few days. It's a little early to plan for kids.


yep, just in case she brings it up, i need to decide now so i know what to say about the idea of them etc



Thound said:


> Have you read the threads here? There is no sex after kids. I think it may be a federal law or something.


that's weird.


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

we turn the TV on in our room, believe me WE don't hear it. 

As far as when, it is mostly when we go to bed after they are asleep. But the mood often hits us in the middle of the day so we will get in a quickie or some oral while they are outside or otherwise occupied. 21 years together have taught us NOT to let it be a routine!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

It does not matter if the kids hear the bed springs. When they are little, they will have no idea what is going on. When they are older, you can tell them that mom and dad are making love. There is nothing wrong with kids knowing what's going on. It is a normal, good, and natural thing for parents to make love. That's where the kids came from in the first place. At least that's what I told my kids and they thought it was a bit gross and a little funny.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Thound said:


> Have you read the threads here? There is no sex after kids. I think it may be a federal law or something.


This is correct - at least where we live, sex after kids is illegal. We've flouted the law twice in the almost five years that we've had kids, but we're dangerous in that way.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

ChargingCharlie said:


> This is correct - at least where we live, sex after kids is illegal. We've flouted the law twice in the almost five years that we've had kids, but we're dangerous in that way.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

BJ and 68 (blow me and I'll owe you one)


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

SShhh! Be vewy, vewy qwiet!


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

ChargingCharlie said:


> This is correct - at least where we live, sex after kids is illegal. We've flouted the law twice in the almost five years that we've had kids, but we're dangerous in that way.


https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct...SMtqtM&usg=AFQjCNHw0jirFIIdc_GZxll2TM_iRpTLTg


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## bc3543 (Aug 24, 2015)

CynthiaDe said:


> It does not matter if the kids hear the bed springs. When they are little, they will have no idea what is going on. When they are older, you can tell them that mom and dad are making love. There is nothing wrong with kids knowing what's going on. It is a normal, good, and natural thing for parents to make love. That's where the kids came from in the first place. At least that's what I told my kids and they thought it was a bit gross and a little funny.


This ^. Let them know - it doesn't warp them. If they are disturbed by the noise they can go outside and play or put on their headphones. 

Our youngest (9 yo) thinks we are making love every time we go in the bedroom and shut the door anyway. So we might as well get some mileage out of his suspicions, since we can't prevent them any longer.


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

People really worry about this? I thought that was an excuse LDs used so they didn't have to have sex. 
:lol:


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

CynthiaDe said:


> It does not matter if the kids hear the bed springs. When they are little, they will have no idea what is going on. When they are older, you can tell them that mom and dad are making love. There is nothing wrong with kids knowing what's going on. It is a normal, good, and natural thing for parents to make love. That's where the kids came from in the first place. At least that's what I told my kids and they thought it was a bit gross and a little funny.


I agree. I walked in on my parents when I was a kid. Other than being blinded for life, I have not suffered any other ill effects.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I would say if you are going to have sex with children, don't do it in the house. >


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

marriage_student said:


> i've always wondered- when do you have sex if you have children?
> do you just accept that they can hear it (cos i'd think it would be easy to hear bed springs at night/morning - cos no tv is on) or do you have to wait until they're out of the house (they at school or at a party etc).
> or do you do it in the shower together?
> i mastubate in the shower but its 100 times better in bed.


I have older children 21,18,16. They KNOW when we are having sex. They just do, the smell is in the air. :smile2: The best we can do is close the door and tell them we're going to bed. After that, nature takes it's course.
Think of it this way. Which is better:

1. Having your kids hear you fighting.

2. Having your kids hear you have sex.

We should be as discrete as possible but on the other hand our kids SHOULD know that happily married men and woman have sex on a regular basis. There is really nothing to hide other than some silly self imposed embarrassment.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Seriously though, you will manage. It's nit as difficult as you might think. I would say a computer within range of young kids is more damaging.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> If you turn on the right cartoon, they won't hear even hear you screaming in their ear, much less bed springs.


*Hell! At my advanced state of decomposition, I'd greatly settle for an occasional moan, much less an occasional scream of ecstasy, just to let either of us know that we're still alive!

And if I really wanted to get advice on how the muzzle the sound of an active, frothy sex session with people in the house, I think that I'd just ask either of my college-aged sons as to how to accomplish that!

For advanced academics, those two know virtually everything! *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

arbitrator said:


> *Hell! At my advanced state of decomposition, I'd greatly settle for an occasional moan, just to let either of us know that we're still alive!
> 
> And if I really wanted to get advice on how the muzzle the sound of an active, frothy sex session with people in the house, I think that I'd just ask either of my college-aged sons as to how to accomplish that!
> 
> ...


Every word of this is cracking me up!!! :lol:


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Every word of this is cracking me up!!! :lol:


It's quite.....descriptive.


Frothy?


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Typically I get them some popcorn, hand them some 3D glasses, and then invite them in to watch the show >


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

marriage_student said:


> ^ but don't the springs make a noise?
> mine do.


My mother told me that one afternoon when I was a kid I asked her why she and my father were jumping on their bed. No further explanation of the story is necessary.


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## Spitfire (Jun 6, 2015)

Heck my wife & I had sex once on one wing of our pop up camper while our boys slept on the other wing. "just trying to get comfortable here. Go to sleep!" lol


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> You go into the bedroom and lock the door.
> 
> Easy peasy.


With small kids, you first need to buy a lock for the door in most modern homes. :smile2:


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

You just started dating and your worried about what some potential kids may potentially hear someday in the future?

You need to relax and just enjoy your relationship now, or there may be no need to worry about what some fictional kids may someday hear.


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

I just saw your other posts and discovered your 18 years old and just moved in with your 31 year old girlfriend/ landlord/ tennis partner.

Dude your in way over your head and thinking way to far down the road. You haven't even gotten to first base with her yet and your worried about what kids may hear someday. You better make sure that if you ever do get around to having sex do not get her pregnant until you grow up. You are not even close to being able to handle children.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Always Learning said:


> I just saw your other posts and discovered your 18 years old and just moved in with your 31 year old girlfriend/ landlord/ tennis partner.
> 
> Dude your in way over your head and thinking way to far down the road. You haven't even gotten to first base with her yet and your worried about what kids may hear someday. You better make sure that if you ever do get around to having sex do not get her pregnant until you grow up. You are not even close to being able to handle children.


IDK, maybe his GF has a killer backhand, you don't just let a person like that walk away ...


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

technovelist said:


> I would say if you are going to have sex with children, don't do it in the house. >


Proper sentence structure can save a child's innocence!


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Although there have been a lot of humorous replies, the reality is fear of being heard shuts down desire in some people. You can argue all you want if that's right or wrong, but in the end it's just a bunch of words. If your partner is nervous that someone will overhear them, they may lose their drive.

One clue (in my opinion) to whether your parter will be like this is if they only want sex if certain conditions are met. If they are only in the mood if it's a certain day, they aren't stressed out, the house is clean, work went well, etc. etc., then they might be more likely to not want to have sex when kids are in the house. It's just one more thing to worry about and add to the list of prerequisites (kids out of the house).


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I lock mine out of the house when Mr H and I are about to have sex.

Haven't seen the little rug rats for days now.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

marriage_student said:


> ^ but don't the springs make a noise?
> mine do.


Get a box-spring instead of using a bed with actual strings. Easy solution.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Get a box-spring instead of using a bed with actual strings. Easy solution.


Easier solution ... waterbed (do they even still make???)


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Before the wheels fell off our relationship we would occasionally tell the kids "we are going upstairs for some Mum and Dad time" Use to freak my son out a bit at first but they understood. In the beginning, after these "sessions" my son would say to me "Did you and Mum....?" I would nod and reassure him that all was normal and fun. My daughter, being a little older, just laughed and really couldn't have cared less. Those were the days.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Close, lock door. If it, bed, or my wife makes noise  it makes no difference, that's life. My son, has knocked on the door at mid stroke, I tell him go back to bed I will be there in a bit. 

Better these noises than fighting. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Maybe use a gag ball so she can't make any noise??? Why a cheeseburger, I have no idea...


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

wilson said:


> Although there have been a lot of humorous replies, the reality is fear of being heard shuts down desire in some people. You can argue all you want if that's right or wrong, but in the end it's just a bunch of words. If your partner is nervous that someone will overhear them, they may lose their drive.
> 
> One clue (in my opinion) to whether your parter will be like this is if they only want sex if certain conditions are met. If they are only in the mood if it's a certain day, they aren't stressed out, the house is clean, work went well, etc. etc., then they might be more likely to not want to have sex when kids are in the house. It's just one more thing to worry about and add to the list of prerequisites (kids out of the house).


All good advice, but really, it's not all that difficult to be quiet when having sex when you're actually used to having sex. Our OP only is going by what he knows from porn videos since he's a virgin. Sex does not always have to be so noisy/loud, and in fact it often is not.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

SecondTime'Round said:


> All good advice, but really, it's not all that difficult to be quiet when having sex when you're actually used to having sex. Our OP only is going by what he knows from porn videos since he's a virgin. Sex does not always have to be so noisy/loud, and in fact it often is not.


That's true....until it's not.

I'm normally not very demonstrative in the bedroom. I rarely make a lot of noise, however recently there was a session where I could not contain myself. It was late, I was loud, and it was a miracle that the kids did not wake up.

Sometimes, you just gotta yell.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> That's true....until it's not.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm not the noisy one in our relationship. Its not that my wife is a yeller, but she get enthusiastic at times. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> That's true....until it's not.
> 
> I'm normally not very demonstrative in the bedroom. I rarely make a lot of noise, however recently there was a session where I could not contain myself. It was late, I was loud, and it was a miracle that the kids did not wake up.
> 
> Sometimes, you just gotta yell.


True. But, for our OP is who is completely inexperienced and thinks sex only involves loud yelling, I think it is a good thing to point out it's not always like that, and, in fact, can be quite quiet. Our OP is inexperienced and does not know this fact.


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## marriage_student (Nov 24, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Get a box-spring instead of using a bed with actual strings. Easy solution.


thanks, will do.



Horizon said:


> Before the wheels fell off our relationship we would occasionally tell the kids "we are going upstairs for some Mum and Dad time" Use to freak my son out a bit at first but they understood. In the beginning, after these "sessions" my son would say to me "Did you and Mum....?" I would nod and reassure him that all was normal and fun. My daughter, being a little older, just laughed and really couldn't have cared less. Those were the days.


those kids sound nice.



EllisRedding said:


> Maybe use a gag ball so she can't make any noise??? Why a cheeseburger, I have no idea...


that made my stomach/throat sick.



happy2gether said:


> we turn the TV on in our room, believe me WE don't hear it.
> 
> As far as when, it is mostly when we go to bed after they are asleep. But the mood often hits us in the middle of the day so we will get in a quickie or some oral while they are outside or otherwise occupied. 21 years together have taught us NOT to let it be a routine!


i like the middle of the day idea.
it will be nice if my wife ends up wearing nice light dresses without panties that i can whip up for a quickie or some breast licks >



CynthiaDe said:


> It does not matter if the kids hear the bed springs. When they are little, they will have no idea what is going on. When they are older, you can tell them that mom and dad are making love. There is nothing wrong with kids knowing what's going on. It is a normal, good, and natural thing for parents to make love. That's where the kids came from in the first place. At least that's what I told my kids and they thought it was a bit gross and a little funny.


sounds fair, i could go that root.




SecondTime'Round said:


> All good advice, but really, it's not all that difficult to be quiet when having sex when you're actually used to having sex. Our OP only is going by what he knows from porn videos since he's a virgin. Sex does not always have to be so noisy/loud, and in fact it often is not.


most people are probably virgins, i'm honest enough to admit it 
but yep, my girlfriend is quiet on the tennis court, so maybe quiet when i relieve her needs too.



Always Learning said:


> You just started dating and your worried about what some potential kids may potentially hear someday in the future?
> 
> You need to relax and just enjoy your relationship now, or there may be no need to worry about what some fictional kids may someday hear.


just in case she mentions kids, i don't want to say "kids are great" and get her hopes up if she's privately thinking about the future with me.



Always Learning said:


> I just saw your other posts and discovered your 18 years old and just moved in with your 31 year old girlfriend/ landlord/ tennis partner.
> 
> Dude your in way over your head and thinking way to far down the road. You haven't even gotten to first base with her yet and your worried about what kids may hear someday. You better make sure that if you ever do get around to having sex do not get her pregnant until you grow up. You are not even close to being able to handle children.


i've touches her boooobs but not nude, and i'm pretty sure 1st pace is touching her boooobs even if clothed + when we cuddle on the couch her body moves on my bonerfied shorts to ecstasy.
i just want to make sure i don't get her hopes up if she mentions the word children. or i can say i like children if i decide they are not a bad idea.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

marriage_student said:


> i just want to make sure i don't get her hopes up if she mentions the word children. or i can say i like children if i decide they are not a bad idea.



This thread topic an acceptable discussion and the topic has come up more than once on TAM. However, a short thread jack - having children is a huge responsibility. So, please don't even think about having children until you are absolutely ready and are able to be their father; don't tread lightly on this issue of having children. I also would be careful to broach the topic with this woman. 

End thread jack. Honestly, my wife and I are not necessarily noisy but even if passerby's or the kiddos (14 and 16) hear anything, it does not appear to bother them. They know mom and dad love each other. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Thread jack.... surely no one is buying this stuff?


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

As a general suggestion, yes, how having children will affect your sex life and intimacy is one of many factors to consider when deciding to have them.

However, there are so many other big considerations when deciding whether to have children, and if you can't see them, you are NOT ready to have children.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

True factoid.

If there is no sex in the home when there's children the chances of someone else providing it outside the home get real high. 

So find a way!!!!!!!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Spitfire said:


> Heck my wife & I had sex once on one wing of our pop up camper while our boys slept on the other wing. "just trying to get comfortable here. Go to sleep!" lol


We've done things like this.. you learn to be real quiet.. when you get aroused...nothing is going to stop that...it's going to end in an orgasm! 

We did it once on the top bunk where we were all in the same room with 4 of them (spending the night in a Cabin)..... they had a bunk on the other side... it was dark... pretty sure they were all sleeping... then when I tried to get down to clean up. I fell on my a**.... and woke them up. 

Oh we can laugh about that one.:rofl:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

There are far worse things a kid might hear besides the sound of their parents getting along well.


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## willeb (Jul 16, 2015)

This thread reminds me of the three types of sex that couples go through:

1. Kitchen Sex. That's during the first part of the relationship where the couple are so much in love they'll have sex anywhere, including the kitchen.

2. Bedroom Sex. That's the part of the relationship where kids have come along and the couple has to restrict their sex to the bedroom.

3. Hallway Sex. That's later on in the relationship when the couple pass each other in the hallway, both have their middle fingers extended, one says, "**** YOU!" and the other says, "SCREW YOU!"


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

willeb said:


> This thread reminds me of the three types of sex that couples go through:
> 
> 1. Kitchen Sex. That's during the first part of the relationship where the couple are so much in love they'll have sex anywhere, including the kitchen.
> 
> ...


I think this should go in the "marriage jokes" thread.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

marriage_student said:


> i've always wondered- when do you have sex if you have children?
> do you just accept that they can hear it (cos i'd think it would be easy to hear bed springs at night/morning - cos no tv is on) or do you have to wait until they're out of the house (they at school or at a party etc).
> or do you do it in the shower together?
> i mastubate in the shower but its 100 times better in bed.




Lock your door and put a sign on it, dad and mom are busy.

Turn on some music.

Or have sex in the shower.

Hire a baby sitter and go to a hotel for the night.

Have sex anywhere the kids usually never go or know about.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Ain't it absolutely amazing that whenever we were "young and stupid and in love with each other," we spent copious amounts of time hiding our sexual copulatory antics from our parents/family!

And then once we've became proud parents, we're all too busy trying to hide those very same sexual antics from our offspring!

If you ask me, it mysteriously sounds like a vicious cycle!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I find it helpful to make breakfast first. Otherwise when you lock the bedroom door on a Saturday morning and are enjoying "private time" with your wife the kids will usually start knocking and yelling at the door that they are hungry. If the kids have been fed, the next question to ask is if you know where the kitty cats are sleeping. If the kitty cats are sleeping under the bed, the generally do not like to be disturbed AND locked in the room with you. They will go to the door, start meowing, then the kids will start knocking and yelling at the door that the kitty is hungry. 

Good luck!
Badsanta


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

So, the "student" is back and anticipating what might happen if he has kids with his cougar GF? Even though he still a kid himself? 
Idk, man...I can't imagine a 30+ woman secretly imagining having kids with you. 

So, while this is an interesting topic, I doubt our horny virgin and his boner will have to worry about it for quite a few more years.


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## Imovedforthis (Dec 18, 2015)

hahahahahahah 

is this for real????? 

How do you have sex with children in the house? <<<< Clearly asked by someone who doesn't even have kids yet. 

Bye Felipe


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## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

Without sitting in judgment over whether this QA should be asking this question, or asking it now, let me say that this can be a real difficult one. At least, for my own experience.

Of course, it depends on factors like (i) how big your how is (ii) whom your sharing it with (iii) how distant the rooms are from each other (iv) how bold you and your partner are (v) how badly both of you want sex (vi) whether one partner is using this as an excuse to justify their LD and avoid sex....

When kids are too small, they tend to be helpless, and one or both (often the wife/gf) will be protective to them. So while theoretically you could have sex even if they're in the same room, it's unlikely to happen for the above reason. A crying baby can be a big time mood spoiler.

Once they grow up a bit you need to be careful for other set of reasons.

My partner tends to be squeamish about the "kids knowing" though both of us tend to be rather silent during love-making (me, out of necessity).

We sometimes just creep up to another part of the house, but this is not always possible, and really cuts into the number of possibilities when we can make love/have sex. 

Sometimes, when I'm desperate enough, I'd just wait till they're in school and do it by day, even though her mum is in the next room. Can't help it really... otherwise I'd be waiting for months and years!

We find it adventurous to creep to different parts of the house, sometimes when there's a risk of someone else walking in on you  I know this sounds crude, but it's a kind of fantasy thingy. 

In short and as someone else said: with kids, there often a sharp decline in sex (some will say this doesn't happen)... and that's when a guy starts finding a marriage/relationship boring, and his hormones set his mind to thinking about 'cheating'. 

Sad, but common enough experience....


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## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

Just go ahead and do it. Tell the kids. Better to have the kids hear their parents make love than fight.... 

It's easy to say that. But, frankly, as a kid, when you don't know what sex is, and haven't felt the need for it ever (I'm talking about kids under the age of 8 or 9, even in times when kids start having sex earlier, or those of an even older age who haven't have sex themselves), it's quite gross to even imagine someone having sex. 

Some societies have rationalized and opened up to sex, but this is not the case all over the world. 

I can understand where these questions are coming from, having faced intense pressures on this front myself.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

happy as a clam said:


> You go into the bedroom and lock the door.
> 
> Easy peasy.


This, and the kids won't bother us unless someone is actually hurt.

My quote to them, if the door is locked DO NOT BOTHER US unless someone is dying (or crying).

BTW, get their IPADs, throw it on their beds, put some snacks on the kitchen table with some drinks and they won't even bother you for hours. Unless the 2 youngest start fighting and try to kill each other.


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