# Pfa granted



## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

After my spouse tried to run me over with our vehicle, he was taken into custody and charged.
The pfa was granted and served.
I'm still not able to speak with my atty due to him being away.
My grand and I are at home ,spouse is with family or friends, idk.

Husband recently ( few months)has had a injury to his neck and since the injury his behavior has changed quite a bit. Ive tried to get him treatment for the head injury but it hasnt happened. 

I'm not sure what will happen when we go to court with the criminal charges. 
This is all foreign to me so I'm here looking for some insight.

Ty in advance for reading my post.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

has your husband had any history of lashing out violently or is this this it? when he injured himself did he have himself looked at ? you noted a neck injury but could he have had a brain concussion as well? You could request that he have an MRI as part of the conditions in court.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

What ages are we talking about here? Could be rapidly progressive dementia.


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

No history of violence, we've been married 37 yrs. We have had our arguments and mouth battles but never tried to kill me.

He was in the hospital for 3 days,then transported home. 
He has had an mri ,ct spine, they were for his fractured neck. I been pushing for a traumatic brain injury dr but nothing has been done.

Ty for replying


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> What ages are we talking about here? Could be rapidly progressive dementia.


He is 65


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Antiqueteenager said:


> He is 65


It’s certainly a possibility, I’ve seen it many times before. I cover the medical (non-psychiatric) care on a geriatric inpatient psychiatric unit and I’ve seen things similar to this many times.


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

Ty for your reply. I guess it's a possibility


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Antiqueteenager said:


> After my spouse tried to run me over with our vehicle, he was taken into custody and charged.
> The pfa was granted and served.
> I'm still not able to speak with my atty due to him being away.
> My grand and I are at home ,spouse is with family or friends, idk.
> ...


I'm sorry for your troubles. I hate to say and he must be taken to a neurologist, but his behavior may only deteriorate. There may not be anything they can do at all about his head injury, but you must get him in to get a scan and see a neurologist so you know what you're dealing with. A friend of mine's husband was just fine until he got a head injury (they didn't seek medical care) and he just deteriorated and went nutso and ran off and ended up dying in a flop house looking apartment. 

You must get him to a neurologist. It sounds like it affected the part of his brain that may have turned him into a violent person -- and if so, you will need to get away and get the kids away.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

could you share with us the bases of the altercation between your husband and you? Also after he was arrested, did you request that given his behavior he be locked up for observation for 72 hours?


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

He will need further tests so they can pin point why the sudden change trying to murder you. That's serious and scary and you know your husband is not that kind of person. Tell them you are afraid of him and afraid for him, something has triggered this like a tbi. My friend has a tbi after a car crash over 25 years ago, and he became obsessed with me and violent and I had to end the friendship.


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'm sorry for your troubles. I hate to say and he must be taken to a neurologist, but his behavior may only deteriorate. There may not be anything they can do at all about his head injury, but you must get him in to get a scan and see a neurologist so you know what you're dealing with. A friend of mine's husband was just fine until he got a head injury (they didn't seek medical care) and he just deteriorated and went nutso and ran off and ended up dying in a flop house looking apartment.
> 
> You must get him to a neurologist. It sounds like it affected the part of his brain that may have turned him into a violent person -- and if so, you will need to get away and get the kids away.


I've read and read about head injuries and the affects of being untreated. He fell 8' out of the truck trailer onto a concrete floor. He had several facial fractures and is in a hard collar for the c1 and c2 fracture.

I was his advocate for months and after this incident I had to do what was best for me and grand.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Antiqueteenager said:


> I've read and read about head injuries and the affects of being untreated. He fell 8' out of the truck trailer onto a concrete floor. He had several facial fractures and is in a hard collar for the c1 and c2 fracture.
> 
> I was his advocate for months and after this incident I had to do what was best for me and grand.


Well, I'm super glad he got treated. You would be amazed how many people don't go to the hospital after a head injury. I mean, you will want to talk to his neurologist to see if there is hope of any brain recovery, but it is very often not the case, and he seems to be getting worse instead of better. You must just keep your family safe, that's all. He might have to go to a care center or something.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Unfortunately neurology is one of those specialties where they are great at diagnosis but treatment options are very limited. With TBI sometimes the only treatment is time and allowing the body to heal itself but that doesn’t always happen and sometimes things just get worse.


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well, I'm super glad he got treated. You would be amazed how many people don't go to the hospital after a head injury. I mean, you will want to talk to his neurologist to see if there is hope of any brain recovery, but it is very often not the case, and he seems to be getting worse instead of better. You must just keep your family safe, that's all. He might have to go to a care center or something.


I'm hoping something will be done soon but I've lost hope in the medical arena. 
Idk why this has gone unattended for 5 months.
Why would a head injury not be looked into after all of my talking to neurosurgeon, primary care dr? Nothing.

Now it's the demise of our marriage. I think I did the right thing but of course I'm filled with questions.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Antiqueteenager said:


> I'm hoping something will be done soon but I've lost hope in the medical arena.
> Idk why this has gone unattended for 5 months.
> Why would a head injury not be looked into after all of my talking to neurosurgeon, primary care dr? Nothing.
> 
> Now it's the demise of our marriage. I think I did the right thing but of course I'm filled with questions.


Or course. It all falls on you. The primary care doctor likely hasn't the specialized knowledge to give much info. But the neurosurgeon should know which area of the brain, what it controls, whether he's ever seen it get better, stay the same, or get worse. Apparently, it's getting worse. Very sad.


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Or course. It all falls on you. The primary care doctor likely hasn't the specialized knowledge to give much info. But the neurosurgeon should know which area of the brain, what it controls, whether he's ever seen it get better, stay the same, or get worse. Apparently, it's getting worse. Very sad.


The neurosurgeon has only looked at his c1&2 fracture. Even tho he was told about husband's outbursts and that fell on deaf ears I guess. 

I'm now not at liberty to be his advocate bcz of the pfa order.
Sadly husband is on his own now and even after everything that happened I still am hopeful he gets help for the head injury.


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> He will need further tests so they can pin point why the sudden change trying to murder you. That's serious and scary and you know your husband is not that kind of person. Tell them you are afraid of him and afraid for him, something has triggered this like a tbi. My friend has a tbi after a car crash over 25 years ago, and he became obsessed with me and violent and I had to end the friendship.


What did they do for him?


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

Lostinthought61 said:


> could you share with us the bases of the altercation between your husband and you? Also after he was arrested, did you request that given his behavior he be locked up for observation for 72 hours?


He started in the morning that day ,tantalizing our grand. He starts acting like a 2 yr old and nit picks. 
Grand and I went shopping,came home with some take out food. Grand asked if she could go finish watching tv in her room and when she walked passed him with her food he made a condescending remark to her and I intervened that he started this crap this morning and to stop I asked him to leave. 

He walked to the mailbox and then got into the truck, I had a package in the backseat so I opened the rear door and was getting the bag out, he then began backing out. I said hey I'm here. He said get your **** or I'll run your ass over.
I was walking up the walk and I thought he was backing up then I heard stones churning and he was driving up the walkway and all I saw was him coming up on me so I turned to the right and went around the side of the house.

He was taken into custody. I tried to 302 him but it wasn't possible bcz they said it wasn't organic( meaning the head injury).
He is out on bail and I placed a pfa on him.


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

Antiqueteenager said:


> What did they do for him?


They put a aspen collar on and has had a few ct scans.
He's on symbalta for mood stabilizer.
Also a sleep aid. 

The neurosurgeon said he can take a calcium nasal spray to see if that would help heal the bones or have an infusion. 
There was no follow up or script given. Once again nothing done.
It's 5 months in a collar..unbelievable.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I don’t have any experience with your situation but I wanted to say how sorry I am. I hope everything turns out well.


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

Openminded said:


> I don’t have any experience with your situation but I wanted to say how sorry I am. I hope everything turns out well.


Ty . I appreciate your thoughtfulness.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Antique, 

thank you for sharing that painful story, and i am sorry that you are going through this ordeal. Could we revisit your husband behavior with your grand, before that day had you seen him provoke her like that ? or better put what was your husband's behavior like before the accident? I am not suggesting that people don't snap, because they do, for a host of reasons, but to go to this extreme usually signifies an underlying cause, what that cause is is yet to be determine. The problem you have and i know you are aware of it is that it really is up to your husband to seek a neurologist who is willing to investigate the root cause. Did they run any cognitive tests on him?


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## Antiqueteenager (7 mo ago)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Antique,
> 
> thank you for sharing that painful story, and i am sorry that you are going through this ordeal. Could we revisit your husband behavior with your grand, before that day had you seen him provoke her like that ? or better put what was your husband's behavior like before the accident? I am not suggesting that people don't snap, because they do, for a host of reasons, but to go to this extreme usually signifies an underlying cause, what that cause is is yet to be determine. The problem you have and i know you are aware of it is that it really is up to your husband to seek a neurologist who is willing to investigate the root cause. Did they run any cognitive tests on him?


During our 30+ yrs of marriage it wasn't a honeymoon everyday, he had his pissed off moments but since the accident it has exacerbated. I dealt with his crappy attitude prior to the injury, he never went off the rails though.

He did see a neurologist and she did in office questions, had him do memory test such as counting backwards from 100 and subtracting 7.
She prescribed him symbalta and had increased from 30mg to 60 and that visit was in March.
He has since changed his ppo and is seeing a new primary care dr, who did the referral for his very 1st mri ,also in March. 

Everything is at a stand still and I don't understand why this wasn't followed through more thoroughly than it was from the beginning. 
He was in a trauma center for 3 days then transported home with a parting gift of a collar.
It all seems to have been misguided in my eyes.

I pounded my fists for long enough. I no longer can do it. I became exhausted and almost killed.
It's up to someone else now ( HIM) to get the help he needs.

I do question myself as to if I did the right thing by calling 911 and having a pfa enforced. I'm sad and very upset about this whole situation. I can't live like I had been nor can I trust him in the home. Our granddaughter can't be put in a situation (s) that puts her in harms way , I'm to protect her not let something happen to her.

All I wanted was for him to recover and return to work and get on with our lives as it was before the accident.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Let me begin by saying you absolutely did the right thing....your first course is to protect yourself and more importantly your granddaughter. 
But you are right you can not hand hold him right now, you need to take care of yourself, he will not be the first nor the last person who sadly falls through the crack. 
The problem with mental illness whether it came from a accident, unbalanced medication or a history of genetics, if the system is not in place to watch them and guide them through the process then the law will not care beyond their responsibilities nor will the medical professional care beyond their responsibilities. Right now it sounds like his future well being is in his own hands and to be honest that is a very scary position to be in. But you did the right thing.


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## Antiqueteenager1 (7 mo ago)

The preliminary hearing is over and he was charged with mm2 and placed on probation for 1 yr. The pfa is enforced for 1 yr. Appt with atty is next wk to discuss divorce and going fwd. Hubby is assuming we will reconcile ( that's what he told his atty) . I'm not going backwards now. I did feel a weee bit of sadness when I seen him at the hearing but it didn't last long. I do hope he gets help with his injuries and can move fwd in his life also. I wish things were easier!


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