# This is your brain on love



## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201501/is-your-brain-love


Whatever!!! There is also something call the PFC (pre-frontal cortex) that enforces logic!!!


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Good thing they only measure from the head up... For me anyway!


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

It's hard to compete with a memory of an A that never got past that phase.


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

I wonder about WS who never get over this phase, do they stay with the spouse out of love or out of duty and security ? Do they just mindfvck themselves that it was nothing and wrong yet still remember it fondly ? 
I hate that "reconciling for kids/money etc etc" because that'd be a double betrayal for the BS, to be treated as a safety net instead of love. My friends kept thinking that his wife stayed after her affair out of security he kept wondering that to his dead. What a waste of time, and live


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Love of.....what precisely?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

CantBelieveThis said:


> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201501/is-your-brain-love
> 
> 
> Whatever!!! There is also something call the PFC (pre-frontal cortex) that enforces logic!!!


So? Logic takes a back seat to addictive emotions. That's one reason a new love/sex relationship puts people in a "fog."


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

Married but Happy said:


> So? Logic takes a back seat to addictive emotions. That's one reason a new love/sex relationship puts people in a "fog."


I agree with you and I was implying we can choose to use our logic and not abandon all our values (as in during an affair) for a love addiction.....

I posted this because I heard a lot of garbage from my xWW after dday and while she was withdrawing from her AP, about how much she loved him and how it felt real, etc ,etc....I kept telling her it was simple dumb infatuation but she insisted she knew the difference and she felt real love for him.....
CS's arent only infatuated during an affair, they also dont want to hear anyone talk any logic in to them!!!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Be careful what you wish for. This is a country that asserts all addiction is a sickness. The next time your husband or wife steps out should they claim it's an illness they can't help?


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Daniel. said:


> do they stay with the spouse out of love or out of duty and security ? Do they just mindfvck themselves that it was nothing wrong yet still remember it fondly ?


It's out of duty and security. If a WS was ask the question, "if you had a do over, would you not have the fling if everything else was unchanged?" and they had to tell the truth, what do you think the answer would be?


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Runs like Dog said:


> Be careful what you wish for. This is a country that asserts all addiction is a sickness. The next time your husband or wife steps out should they claim it's an illness they can't help?


Just as ill as when the original couple got together and married... They were ill...


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Married but Happy said:


> So? Logic takes a back seat to addictive emotions. That's one reason a new love/sex relationship puts people in a "fog."


For me, this is exactly how it feels. 

Even after a year I still yearn for that feeling of deep love and comfort.

I know it was a fantasy, I know it wasn't real for her yet it is something I desperately want.

I also know it is bad for me, and in that respect, it feels highly addictive. Like a drug. I feel like I'm in rehab at the moment.

In fact at the moment I feel like it has ruined my ability to have a healthy love for my new GF.

All I want is to feel happy, satisfied and comfortable with my new GF, but I am unable to do so.

I hate this sh*t.


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

ThePheonix said:


> It's out of duty and security. If a WS was ask the question, "if you had a do over, would you not have the fling if everything else was unchanged?" and they had to tell the truth, what do you think the answer would be?


Then maybe for most, R is just a waste of time then, what's the point ? It's still a selfishness, her/his duty and security is the main concern. This is exactly what happened to my friend, wondering to his death. If he hadn't stay he'd probably still be alive


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Daniel. said:


> Then maybe for most, R is just a waste of time then, what's the point ? It's still a selfishness, her/his duty and security is the main concern. This is exactly what happened to my friend, wondering to his death. If he hadn't stay he'd probably still be alive


You can't generalise about that.

There are hundreds of variables that determine the likely success of R. Upbringing, personality, personal issues, marriage history, sexual connectivity, communication quality etc etc etc.

I've learnt everybody's situation is different. You just can't.

I kind of wish I was with a person who was willing and able to R, but she wasn't so what happened became totally moot so I wasted a lot of my time and experienced a lot of stress and pain for nothing.

I think that the first thing any BS should do is ask the question WHY DO YOU WANT TO R? Then ask it again.


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

poida said:


> You can't generalise about that.
> 
> There are hundreds of variables that determine the likely success of R. Upbringing, personality, personal issues, marriage history, sexual connectivity, communication quality etc etc etc.
> 
> ...


Ask that to WS too, preferably out of the blue so they can't gloss over the answer. Worked with my wife
Personally i think those variables are secondary, most important are the L word and willingness. If they love each other and willing to compromise (mostly WS) it'll work. 
But then again there's the one strike policy type of person


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

How about the dozen strike policy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

So Romeo and Juliet is a reality show. Go nuts, kill yourself.


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