# I'm considering leaving her



## GoCubsGo82 (May 18, 2017)

Hey everyone i'm new to the board and just looking for a place to talk with others going through the same thing as me and maybe been through it and can help me see the light more. 

I'll give a little run down.

I’ll give a brief rundown on how things are. So me and the woman have been together 5 years, married for going on 3 years. We don’t have any kids together yet but I do have two of my own (whom I have full time) and she has two kids as well (she has them 50%). The kids are 12, 11, 10 and 9. We’re also expecting a baby in July (I know right!!). We’ve had some issues for a while now, even got married hoping that it’d work itself out and things would change. I worked for a while and then lost my job. The whole time she was not working and didn’t even really clean the house at all. I worked midnight shift so tried to sleep when I got home at 6AM, got up and would clean and do it all over again. 
I lost my job a couple month sago and been trying to find anything. But haven’t been able to yet. She likes to throw it in my face that shes keeping the family a float and I’m a horrible man. She is so rude to me and my kids. Home life doesn’t feel like “home” it feels like negativity and walking on egg shells so she isn’t getting all pissed. She’s pretty much alienated herself from my family. I try to get along with her family at least. 
I clean all day everyday, so that the house is nice when she gets home. She doesn’t appreciate it, she gets mad if I even miss something that she may have told me to clean. She calls me names, etc. I think I’ve finally come to that breaking point that what we’re doing is insane and its totally unhealthy. She doesn’t like my kids, she has some sort of resentment towards them and it hurts. I don’t want these years to fly by and my kids resent me and their childhood because I choose to keep around the bad step mom. We’ve had issues for so long and I think we’re just not right for each other. It’s something with her in her core, not something I think she can change. 
AHHH!!! There’s just so much I don’t want to vent it all but you get the point.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I have some questions to get some clarity.

Since you are not working and you have your children full time, is she supporting your children now?

How many hours a week are you spending job hunting? If you are cleaning house all day long, it would seem that you have little to no time to job hunt.

Has her behavior gotten worse with her pregnancy?


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## GoCubsGo82 (May 18, 2017)

Thanks for the questions! I do clean quite a bit and I do sometimes feel I don’t have enough time to really sit down and search; however I do search quite a bit. I’ve had some interviews but they haven’t turned into landing a job. I am frustrated. 
As for supporting the kids, eh. She is more of that step mom who is just “there” and not really involved with them or takes the time to get to know them, which sucks really bad. It’s something that has really infringed on our marriage and has drove me to breaking points because my kids don’t deserve that. It’s like she has some resentment towards them because they’re really good in sports etc and her kids aren’t into sports and such. But I’ve never once made her feel like her kids aren’t up to par with mine, because they’re kids! They’re all unique in their own ways and that’s great. 
I tried to chalk it up with pregnancy hormones is the reason but this has went on long before the pregnancy on how she treats me. She’s verbally nasty towards me and really puts me down quite a bit. I’ve allowed this behavior and hoped our marriage would get better and it hasn’t.. hopefully that clarifies some.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Time to put you and your kids first. Start working out, get in best shape possible. Start detaching. Let her know she isn't on a pedestal anymore and you will replace her if she doesn't change her ways. Hopefully it's not too late, but it sounds like it is. Life is too short to put up with a crappy spouse. 

I'm surprised you are having another child! Why on earth didn't you get a vasectomy?? How old are you two?


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

That was kinda like my life. My ex is undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. Search it here and check @Uptown posts.


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## GoCubsGo82 (May 18, 2017)

God, I KNOW. Another child, clearly wasn't thinking and should have got my nuts chopped.
@Herschel, I thought she may have some BPD or some sorft of manic bi-polar disorder.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

GoCubsGo82 said:


> Hey everyone i'm new to the board and just looking for a place to talk with others going through the same thing as me and maybe been through it and can help me see the light more.
> 
> I'll give a little run down.
> 
> ...


Wow, lots of similarities to my situation. She refused to work and put all the financial responsibility on me. I didn't want this sort of arrangement at all but was forced into it. When I was layed off I encountered the same that you did, I was not supported, rather badgered as to why I wasn't working hard enough at finding something else when I was making it a regular 8 hour a day marathon looking for work. She constantly said that what we has didn't quite measure up to her expectations. She alienated herself from the kids, me and my family and our friends and she refuses to clean the house. She basically appreciated nothing. 

I don't think you ought to try to resolve this. Give her a time limit to become a suitable wife and mother and if she doesn't snap out of it by the end of the time limit, divorce her.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

GoCubsGo82 said:


> God, I KNOW. Another child, clearly wasn't thinking and should have got my nuts chopped.
> 
> @Herschel, I thought she may have some BPD *or some sorft of manic bi-polar disorder.*


*
*


Or some sort of meany-beany stink.

Don't start sticking labels on her....that is our job!!

She is divorced. There is a reason she is divorced. Her ex was bad, she was bad, they both were bad. So far she ain't good. Red Flag.

It looks like she is no angel. Your's being unemployed while she is pregnant is a relationship killer. She has no business being an ass, but she is right to be concerned if no money is coming in.

Let the housework go. Get a freakin job, even at or a little above minimum wage until a better job becomes available. Hell, get two minimum wage jobs. Whatever it takes,


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

GoCubsGo82 said:


> Thanks for the questions! I do clean quite a bit and I do sometimes feel I don’t have enough time to really sit down and search; however I do search quite a bit. I’ve had some interviews but they haven’t turned into landing a job. I am frustrated.
> As for supporting the kids, eh. She is more of that step mom who is just “there” and not really involved with them or takes the time to get to know them, which sucks really bad. It’s something that has really infringed on our marriage and has drove me to breaking points because my kids don’t deserve that. It’s like she has some resentment towards them because they’re really good in sports etc and her kids aren’t into sports and such. But I’ve never once made her feel like her kids aren’t up to par with mine, because they’re kids! They’re all unique in their own ways and that’s great.
> I tried to chalk it up with pregnancy hormones is the reason but this has went on long before the pregnancy on how she treats me. She’s verbally nasty towards me and really puts me down quite a bit. I’ve allowed this behavior and hoped our marriage would get better and it hasn’t.. hopefully that clarifies some.



I think what ele is asking is whether she is financially supporting your kids since you're not working.

Is she?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I think the worst thing in all of this is the fact that she doesnt like your kids. They know she doesnt. That's not ok, this is not a healthy environment for them. Its probably going to get worse once the baby arrives too. This, to me, could be the real dealbreaker... it isnt fair for your kids to be subjected to someone who doesnt like them in their own home. 

Was she planning to be a SAHM once she has the baby? I suggest whatever steps you are taking to find employment get ramped up ten-fold, because you need to support the household, or you need to divorce... either way, you need a job NOW.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

As the saying goes, follow the money. You do need to be open and honest about where all the money being used to pay your bills is coming from. It may hurt, but it may also help explain some things.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Employed or not, nobody deserves to be doled out overbearing horse manure like that!

Find a job, then get yourself and your kids the hell out of there! Let's just say that she has more than demonstrated that she does not love you or them!!*


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

@*Herschel*, thanks for the callout. For some reason, I overlooked GoCubs' thread yesterday.



GoCubsGo82 said:


> I thought she may have some BPD or some sort of manic bi-polar disorder.


GoCubs, I agree with Herschel and you that the behaviors you describe -- i.e., verbal abuse, controlling behavior, resentment of your two children, easily triggered temper tantrums, and always being "The Victim" -- are some of the classic warning signs for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Importantly, I'm not suggesting your W has full-blown BPD but, rather, that she may be exhibiting moderate to strong traits of it.

As to your W having _bipolar_ disorder, well, anything is possible. Having strong BPD traits does not rule out bipolar. Indeed, a 2008 study found that 41% of women diagnosed as having full-blown BPD also suffer from a co-occurring bipolar disorder. I note, however, that you don't seem to be describing bipolar symptoms in what you've written so far. If you're interested, I describe the differences I've seen between the typical behavior of a BPDer (my exW) and a bipolar-1 sufferer (my foster son) at 12 Bipolar/BPD Differences.



> [I am]walking on egg shells so she isn’t getting all pissed.


If your W really is a BPDer (i.e., exhibits strong and persistent traits), that is exactly how you should be feeling. This is why the best-selling BPD book -- targeted to the abused partners -- is titled, _Stop Walking on Eggshells_.



> I tried to chalk it up with pregnancy hormones is the reason but this has went on long before the pregnancy on how she treats me.


In the general population, the vast majority of strong BPD behaviors are temporary flareups of the normally low BPD traits that we all exhibit. Those temporary flareups, which sometimes can last for a year or two, are usually caused by strong hormone changes -- e.g., by puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, and perimenopause (i.e., by any life event starting with the letter "P," LOL). This likely is one of the reasons that @EleGirl asked whether your W's bad behavior started with her current pregnancy. (The other common cause of these temporary BPD trait flareups is drug abuse, which you don't mention.)

I therefore am sorry to hear that your W's abusive behavior "went on long before the pregnancy." If your W really does exhibit the persistent, lifelong behavior pattern referred to as the BPD disorder itself, the BPD symptoms likely started showing strongly in the early teens and -- with the exception of your courtship period -- would have been persistent since then. 

Those BPD traits likely would have disappeared entirely during the courtship period because her infatuation would have convinced her that you pose no threat whatsoever to her two great fears: abandonment and engulfment. As soon as her infatuation started to wane -- usually about 4 to 6 months into the close relationship -- those fears would have returned and you would have started triggering both of them.



> It’s something with her in her core, not something I think she can change.


GoCubs, given your suspicions that your W exhibits strong and persistent BPD symptoms, I offer a few cautions.

*First*, if she really is a BPDer, she must have a strong fear of abandonment, which usually is most often manifested in behavior as an irrational jealousy. Significantly, you don't mention her being unreasonably jealous of your relationships or casual encounters with other women. 

The closest thing you mention to a red flag for abandonment fear is her dislike and rudeness toward your own children. It is common for BPDers to become very jealous -- and thus resentful -- of substantial time that the partner spends with with his own family members or close friends. The BPDer misperceives it as you picking the children over her -- or as you choosing to live with her only because you need support for the kids. 

Indeed, my BPDer exW was jealous of the closeness and intense love I had for her own children (i.e., my step kids). And she quickly grew to hate my adult foster son. An important issue, then, is whether you saw any more obvious signs that your W is jealous of other women or exhibits a strong fear that you may leave her.

*A second caution* is that BPDers are emotionally _unstable_ and thus typically alternate between pushing you away (by devaluing and belittling you) and pulling you back close (by loving or adoring you). Significantly, you don't mention seeing that regular cycle of push-away/pull-back behavior. I mention this because, if you are not seeing emotionally UNSTABLE behavior like that, you are NOT seeing a pattern of strong and persistent BPD behaviors. Stable abusive behavior -- i.e., where the spouse switches permanently to abusive behavior after the wedding -- is characteristic of narcissistic or sociopathic behavior, not BPD behavior. 

This is not to say, however, that a BPDer will never reach the point of splitting you black (perceiving of you as "all bad") permanently. After a long period of alternating between perceiving of you as "all good" or "all bad," it is common for BPDers to eventually become so fearful of abandonment that they will perceive of their partners as "all bad" on a permanent basis. It is common, for example, for BPDers to describe all of their ex-partners as abusive and terrible people.

*A third caution* is that BPD is a "spectrum" disorder, which means every adult on the planet occasionally exhibits all BPD traits to some degree (albeit at a low level if the person is healthy). At issue, then, is not whether your W exhibits BPD traits. Of course she does. We all do. 

Rather, at issue is whether she exhibits those traits at a strong and persistent level (i.e., is on the upper end of the BPD spectrum). Not having met her, I cannot answer that question. I nonetheless believe you can spot any strong BPD warning signs that are present if you take a little time to learn which behaviors are on the list. They are easy to spot because there is nothing subtle about behaviors such as very controlling behavior, always being "The Victim," and easily triggered temper tantrums.

*A fourth caution* is that, although it is easy to spot strong BPD symptoms, only a professional can determine whether they are so strong and persistent as to constitute full-blown BPD. Hence, you can easily spot a pattern of strong BPD traits but cannot diagnose your W's issue -- i.e., cannot determine whether she has the full-blown disorder. The main reason for learning BPD red flags, then -- like learning warning signs for stroke and heart attack -- is to help you and your kids avoid a very painful situation -- and to help you decide whether professional guidance is warranted. As @3Xnocharm observes above, "The worst thing in all of this is the fact that she doesnt like your kids."



> She’s pretty much alienated herself from my family.


Likewise, my BPDer exW did the same. She was resentful of time I spent with my close friends and family members.



> It’s like she has some resentment towards [my kids] because they’re really good in sports etc and her kids aren’t into sports and such.


Perhaps so. Yet, if she really is a BPDer, the resentment against your two kids most likely arises from a strong abandonment fear that distorts her perceptions of your intentions and motivations. As noted above, my exW was even resentful of my closeness to her own children -- even though she would have been just as resentful if I had not loved them and spent time with them.



> I don’t want these years to fly by and my kids resent me and their childhood because I choose to keep around the bad step mom.


My advice, GoCubs, is to see a psychologist -- for a visit or two all by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you and your children are dealing with. I also suggest that, while you're looking for a good psych, you read about BPD warning signs to see if they seem to apply.

An easy place to start reading is my list of _*18 BPD Warning Signs*_. If most sound very familiar, I would suggest you read my more detailed description of them at my posts in _*Maybe's Thread*_. If that description rings many bells and raises questions, I would be glad to join *Herschel*, *3X*, @farsidejunky, and the other respondents in discussing them with you. Take care, GoCubs.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

GoCubs, I just noticed that you tell the same story in a thread at another forum website -- with the addition of two details not mentioned here. Specifically, you say there that your W has physically abused you, which included slapping your face. And you say she would throw a glass of water in your face -- an indication of a lack of impulse control.

I mention these comments here because the physical abuse of a partner or spouse is strongly associated with BPD. Indeed, _"__Inappropriate, intense anger"_ is one of the nine defining traits for BPD. And _"Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors"_ is another one of those defining traits.

If your W is a BPDer, she carries enormous anger inside from early childhood. You therefore don't have to do a thing to CREATE the anger. Rather, you only have to do or say some minor thing that triggers a release of anger that is already there. This is why a BPDer can burst into a rage in less than a minute -- oftentimes in only ten seconds. Moreover, BPDers have very weak control over their emotions and thus are impulsive. Indeed, the key defining characteristic of BPD is the inability to regulate one's own emotions.

For these reasons, the _physical_ abuse of a spouse or partner has been found to be strongly associated with BPD. One of the first studies showing that link is a 1993 hospital study of spousal batterers. It found that nearly all of them have a personality disorder and half of them have BPD. See Roger Melton's summary of that study at *50% of Batterers are BPDers*. Similarly, a *2008 study* and a *2012 study* find a strong association between violence and BPD.


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## MrRight (Apr 17, 2017)

jb02157 said:


> Wow, lots of similarities to my situation. She refused to work and put all the financial responsibility on me. I didn't want this sort of arrangement at all but was forced into it. When I was layed off I encountered the same that you did, I was not supported, rather badgered as to why I wasn't working hard enough at finding something else when I was making it a regular 8 hour a day marathon looking for work. She constantly said that what we has didn't quite measure up to her expectations. She alienated herself from the kids, me and my family and our friends and she refuses to clean the house. She basically appreciated nothing.
> 
> *I don't think you ought to try to resolve this. Give her a time limit to become a suitable wife and mother and if she doesn't snap out of it by the end of the time limit, divorce her.*


wow - you make that sound easy.
what about the pregnancy? I wonder if the OP feels comfortable giving custody of his new born child to a mother with dangerous behavious tendencies.
Tricky - very tricky situation. And he's out of work - leaving may not be financially possible.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lifeistooshort said:


> I think what ele is asking is whether she is financially supporting your kids since you're not working.
> 
> Is she?


Looks like the OP is not going to answer this question. So I guess we know the answer.

He's unemployed and she's supporting him and his two children. And she's pregnant. 

This just might explain her attitude.

GoCubsGo82, how long have you been unemployed?


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> GoCubsGo82, how long have you been unemployed?


In post #1, GoCubs says _"I lost my job a couple months ago."_ He says his W did not start working until he lost that job. Specifically, he says _"I worked for a while and then lost my job. The whole time she was not working and didn’t even really clean the house at all."_



> He's unemployed and she's supporting him and his two children. And she's pregnant. This just might explain her attitude.


Certainly, her working to support the family might explain her abusive behavior and bad attitude for the past _"couple months,"_ at which time she started working. And her pregnancy hormones could explain her bad attitude for the past 7 months. But that bad attitude and verbal abuse apparently has been going on for 4 or 5 years. In response to your earlier question, EleGirl, GoCubs said her abusive behavior started well before their wedding three years ago. He says he _"even got married hoping that it’d work itself out and things would change." 
_


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
Children need discipline. If you are excepting abusive behavior, condescending remarks and belittlement in general then you are setting the parameters under which she feels able to operate. In other words, your acceptance implies consent. It is indeed difficult to know particulars from a post or two on a public forum so your attitude/behavior is relatively unknown.

Are you a forceful figure, meek and timid, highly motivated or prone to procrastination? These will have an effect on her behavior especially if she feels that you are not "pulling your weight" and more so now that she is pregnant, which may also be adding to her angst. The thought of a new child is daunting and with you out of work it may be approaching her limit of what she can withstand.

In any event it does not excuse her verbal, attitudinal and possibly physical abuse. If you accept it and she consciously or subconsciously acknowledges that, or in her mind "gets away with it" then it will continue. She needs some form of deterrent to alter her behavior such as a spanking but since literally spanking an "adult" (how loosely we use that term) is not acceptable to society then you must find another form of discipline that is societally acceptable.

This becomes problematic in that children have a difficult, if not impossible, time discerning psychological punishment. Pain is straightforward and immediate and is generally recognized as a deterrent to wrong behavior however psychological deterrents require a certain level of cognizance that, if possessed by the guilty party, would preclude them from behaving that way in the first place. So then, their efficacy is dubious as is evidenced by the high number of repeat offenders that go through incarceration and "pay their debt to society" only to be released at which point they return to their previous behaviors.

In any event, your only recourse is to find something she values and threaten to take it away if she continues to misbehave. Some say that divorce is such a tool but that presumes that the guilty party places the same level of importance to the marriage that you do and most simply do not. It is a very precarious position indeed and a very difficult one as well. Good fortune to you as you endeavor to find your "spanking" tool.


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## MrRight (Apr 17, 2017)

NoChoice said:


> OP,
> Children need discipline. If you are excepting abusive behavior, condescending remarks and belittlement in general then you are setting the parameters under which she feels able to operate. In other words, your acceptance implies consent. It is indeed difficult to know particulars from a post or two on a public forum so your attitude/behavior is relatively unknown.
> 
> Are you a forceful figure, meek and timid, highly motivated or prone to procrastination? These will have an effect on her behavior especially if she feels that you are not "pulling your weight" and more so now that she is pregnant, which may also be adding to her angst. The thought of a new child is daunting and with you out of work it may be approaching her limit of what she can withstand.
> ...


I have been down this road and failed.
I know my wife put quite a high value on sex - a far higher value than I do.
So I used this to change her behaviour. I thought if I withold sex when she is "bad" and give it when she is "good" - she might have the intelligence to modify her behaviour.

Did it work?

NO!

In fact I found that nights after sex are even more hell then nights after no sex. So now I dont bother and she stops coming to me - I only have to perform once or maybe twice a month.

I suspect that borderlines put the highest possible value on being able to express their emotions how and when they please and subjugating their partners.

I also think an open threat - along the lines - wise up or we divorce - will backfire.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

MrRight said:


> I found that nights after sex are even more hell then nights after no sex.


MrRight, that was my experience also. Although BPDers crave intimacy like nearly everyone else, they cannot tolerate it for very long. Due to their lack of a strong self identity, they quickly start to feel controlled and engulfed during intimacy -- e.g., it can be a very frightening feeling of losing oneself and enmeshed into the partner's strong personality. When the BPDer has painful feelings like that, her subconscious protects her fragile ego by projecting those hurtful feelings onto her partner. Hence, at a conscious level, the BPDer is convinced that the hurtful feelings are caused by him.

The result is that, immediately following intimacy or a great weekend spent together, a BPDer will start a fight -- over absolutely nothing -- to push her partner away and give her breathing space. At a conscious level, she will be absolutely convinced that her partner is the source of her engulfment fear. 

This is why, in BPDer relationships, the very WORST fights typically occur immediately after the very BEST of times. And this is why it is common for a BPDer to start a fight right in the middle of an expensive vacation spent out of town.


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## MrRight (Apr 17, 2017)

Uptown said:


> MrRight, that was my experience also. Although BPDers crave intimacy like nearly everyone else, they cannot tolerate it for very long. Due to their lack of a strong self identity, they quickly start to feel controlled and engulfed during intimacy -- e.g., it can be a very frightening feeling of losing oneself and enmeshed into the partner's strong personality. When the BPDer has painful feelings like that, her subconscious protects her fragile ego by projecting those hurtful feelings onto her partner. Hence, at a conscious level, the BPDer is convinced that the hurtful feelings are caused by him.
> 
> The result is that, immediately following intimacy or a great weekend spent together, a BPDer will start a fight -- over absolutely nothing -- to push her partner away and give her breathing space. At a conscious level, she will be absolutely convinced that her partner is the source of her engulfment fear.
> 
> This is why, in BPDer relationships, the very WORST fights typically occur immediately after the very BEST of times. *And this is why it is common for a BPDer to start a fight right in the middle of an expensive vacation spent out of town.*


My experience with this scenario - "don't you dare ruin my special time"

this special time can also be birthday - new year - our child's birthday - valentines day - women's day - christmas day - family day out 

I dread these "special days"

There was something you did not mention in your posts that I found on another website - BPDers reacting out of all proportion to negative words - like "death" for example, or "cancer" - mine does this - I have to get down and pray to god if I say a negative word Iand I'm an atheist) 

Sorry - I think we are taking over this thread - though some of these issues may strike a chord with the OP.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Uptown said:


> In post #1, GoCubs says _"I lost my job a couple months ago."_ He says his W did not start working until he lost that job. Specifically, he says _"I worked for a while and then lost my job. The whole time she was not working and didn’t even really clean the house at all."_
> 
> Certainly, her working to support the family might explain her abusive behavior and bad attitude for the past _"couple months,"_ at which time she started working. And her pregnancy hormones could explain her bad attitude for the past 7 months. But that bad attitude and verbal abuse apparently has been going on for 4 or 5 years. In response to your earlier question, EleGirl, GoCubs said her abusive behavior started well before their wedding three years ago. He says he _"even got married hoping that it’d work itself out and things would change."
> _




Might be worth exploring that he said he worked for a while.....implying that he has a history of not working regularly.

That might explain a longer term attitude.

Would be nice is he'd come back and answer questions.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

lifeistooshort said:


> Might be worth exploring that he said he worked for a while.....implying that he has a history of not working regularly.


Yes, I noticed the _"for a while"_ too. Another area worth exploring is the "miscarriage" of their first baby that apparently occurred prior to their marriage. GoCubs was crushed by it and felt responsible, thinking he wasn't man enough to produce a healthy baby. Then, after he had married her, he eventually discovered that his W had gotten an abortion behind his back. 

That incident, like the physical abuse incidents, are mentioned in his thread at another forum website. He started it about ten hours after this one. Sadly, he hasn't returned to either forum.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Uptown said:


> Yes, I noticed the _"for a while"_ too. Another area worth exploring is the "miscarriage" of their first baby that apparently occurred prior to their marriage. GoCubs was crushed by it and felt responsible, thinking he wasn't man enough to produce a healthy baby. Then, after he had married her, he eventually discovered that his W had gotten an abortion behind his back.
> 
> That incident, like the physical abuse incidents, are mentioned in his thread at another forum website. He started it about ten hours after this one. Sadly, he hasn't returned to either forum.


It's always difficult when posters don't share the whole story, which I think happens a lot.

We'll see if be comes back.

Ideally we'd have the whole story and both sides.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

MrRight said:


> wow - you make that sound easy.
> what about the pregnancy? I wonder if the OP feels comfortable giving custody of his new born child to a mother with dangerous behavious tendencies.
> Tricky - very tricky situation. And he's out of work - leaving may not be financially possible.


Two easily fixable problems. I figure that since since she's acting like this, you're not getting much sex anyway. When you do you'll just have to be careful to use condoms. And with the work situation, you can use getting rid of her and starting a new life as motivators for finding a job. I'd wait until after you divorce her, though, she would get less if you had no job.


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## MrRight (Apr 17, 2017)

jb02157 said:


> Two easily fixable problems. I figure that since since she's acting like this, you're not getting much sex anyway. When you do you'll just have to be careful to use condoms. And with the work situation, you can use getting rid of her and starting a new life as motivators for finding a job. I'd wait until after you divorce her, though, she would get less if you had no job.


read the threa carefully - she is pregnant. 

pity there are no retro-action condoms eh


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