# ED with my husband and wont do oral for me



## alone20

We are older and I knew he has issues when we got married 6 years ago, but he loved going down on me and I would gave 3 orgasms in one night. He would try but couldn't reach full erection, so I gave him oral. We both had a couple of health issues 3 years ago and now he refuses to even try again. Maybe 3 times. Ive had to resort to self pleasure...This may be wrong to talk about. But he has blood in sperm now and I can't think of going down on him. (I've read thats not necessarily anything wrong.. he has has kidney stones in the past,, but dr has cleared him.)I did a few times and it turned me off and embarrassed him. He dont have ability to please me with his hands because its too rough. Is there ever any hope for a fix?


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## ccpowerslave

Get flavored condoms for him. My wife used to detest giving me oral, started wearing those for it and now she is a demon.

As for his performance I assume he’s looked into Rx medication for his ED. If not, stop there and he should see a doctor. If he has patience you can probably talk him through or show him how to manually stimulate you.


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## Imperfections

alone20 said:


> We are older and I knew he has issues when we got married 6 years ago, but he loved going down on me and I would gave 3 orgasms in one night. He would try but couldn't reach full erection, so I gave him oral. We both had a couple of health issues 3 years ago and now he refuses to even try again. Maybe 3 times. Ive had to resort to self pleasure...This may be wrong to talk about. But he has blood in sperm now and I can't think of going down on him. (I've read thats not necessarily anything wrong.. he has has kidney stones in the past,, but dr has cleared him.)I did a few times and it turned me off and embarrassed him. He dont have ability to please me with his hands because its too rough. Is there ever any hope for a fix?


Yes, why does he need to finish in your mouth? Just wait till he’s almost there and use your hands for the last bit. As for him not going down on you; have you asked him why he doesn’t?


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## MattMatt

alone20 said:


> We are older and I knew he has issues when we got married 6 years ago, but he loved going down on me and I would gave 3 orgasms in one night. He would try but couldn't reach full erection, so I gave him oral. We both had a couple of health issues 3 years ago and now he refuses to even try again. Maybe 3 times. Ive had to resort to self pleasure...This may be wrong to talk about. But he has blood in sperm now and I can't think of going down on him. (I've read thats not necessarily anything wrong.. he has has kidney stones in the past,, but dr has cleared him.)I did a few times and it turned me off and embarrassed him. He dont have ability to please me with his hands because its too rough. Is there ever any hope for a fix?


He must see a doctor.









Blood in semen


Find out about possible causes of blood in semen and when to get medical help.




www.nhs.uk













Blood in Semen: Causes, Related Symptoms, Tests, and Treatments


WebMD explains blood in semen, including causes, related symptoms, tests, and treatments.




www.webmd.com


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## sokillme

alone20 said:


> We are older and I knew he has issues when we got married 6 years ago, but he loved going down on me and I would gave 3 orgasms in one night. He would try but couldn't reach full erection, so I gave him oral. We both had a couple of health issues 3 years ago and now he refuses to even try again. Maybe 3 times. Ive had to resort to self pleasure...This may be wrong to talk about. But he has blood in sperm now and I can't think of going down on him. (I've read thats not necessarily anything wrong.. he has has kidney stones in the past,, but dr has cleared him.)I did a few times and it turned me off and embarrassed him. He dont have ability to please me with his hands because its too rough. Is there ever any hope for a fix?


Have you talked to him about this? What is he reasoning? What about toys? 

I think the main point is if this is a priority for you (which is entirely reasonable) you have to let him know and make him understand that. Sounds like he has had a rough time of it due to health problems. Sex and just the thought of it may seem like a chore, given all that has gone on. He may also still be embarrassed, or he may just be lazy and selfish. 

You have to open up communication about this though or nothing is going to change.

At the very least he should see s doctor if he hasn't yet.


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## Maxheadroom

I have to agree with what the others have stated. Blood in his semen is not normal and if he hasn't he should go see a doctor about. As a guy that also suffers from ED, there are many ways he can address the issue through medications. Nowadays, there are many online ED subscription services if he is too embarrassed to talk to his doctor about it. 

So like I said, I also suffer from ED (which I think is also leading to issues in my own marriage. But that is another conversation). But, I absolutely love to go down on my wife. I also love to please her with my hands... Now you said that he doesn't have the ability to please you with his hands because it is too rough. Is that because the skin on his hands is too rough? Or is it because he gets too rough? I tend to have this problem as well. I will get overly excited and get a little rough and she will have to tell me to slow down a bit. Or she will tell me that her "bits" are sore afterwards. 

I don't think there is no fix... but I think you both need to be open minded about some things moving forward.


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