# There is hope...



## needing_affection

I just wanted say to those going through a seperation that there is hope. My wife left me almost 4 months ago and came back 3 weeks ago. We continued MC the whole time she was gone and I guess she realized she wasn't ready to give up on us. Her reasons for leaving were my "anger" ,our constant arguing and also she didn't think I wash harsh enough when punishing my son (her step-son). Well the reason I was so angry is because of her running up $50k of credit card debt with no plan to stop spending, a total lack of affection on her part, and her lack of effort in having a good relationship with my 10 year old son. Well now that she is back I can say she is trying much harder with my son, she and I recently went to see a debt counselor and she has :smthumbup:agreed to follow the counselors plan. So I'm pretty happy with the progress so far. Not much has improved in the affection dept, but I'm hoping that starts to change too. So basically I just wanted to tell people on this forum that things can get better and there is hope...


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## 6301

Who has to pay the 50 grand back? If she does, then it means that you do. So how is that progress when your 50 grand in the hole?


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## needing_affection

6301 said:


> Who has to pay the 50 grand back? If she does, then it means that you do. So how is that progress when your 50 grand in the hole?


Let me explain...Our finances have been and still are seperate. But now, I am the one allocating what gets paid with her paycheck and now have the ability to monitor her spending. And I meant progress as far as she has admitted her faults and is now trying to fix them. To me that's progress.


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## needing_affection

Oh and most of this debt she already had when we got married. She just was't paying it down like she was supposed to be doing...


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## needing_affection

Quick update...my Wifes "attempt" to change was total BS. The only area she actually tried to change was in finances and that's only because it benefits her. She hasn't tried to have a better relationship with my son and there hasn't been any change in the affection dept. We still have a almost no contact marriage. I have read multiple relationship books, gone to 4 months of counseling, bent over backwards to meet her needs for 3 1/2 years of marriage, but nothing has changed. I'm done with the never ending excuses. She can go back to her enabling family. I am done! Filing for divorce next week. If I ever say I'm getting married again I told my sister to kick me in the nuts and then steal my wallet because it 's the same thing!!! Sorry needed to vent...


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## Trying2figureitout

There is hope..oh wait

Good luck Op


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