# Any reason why the wife and I shouldn't get into the Hot Wife Fetish?



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I wonder if it would bring us closer together.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Ummmm, no. Just no.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Some fantasies are best kept between a couple. You know, role playing, watching particular porn, etc. I'd say this is one of those fantasies. 

C


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hahaha!!!!&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Had to look that up.....and um, um. No

But, just to be fair...shook the magic eight ball a few times and got the following:

My sources say no.
Outlook not so good.
Very doubtful.
My reply is no.
Don't count on it.


The Eight Ball has spoken


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Any reason you don't want an ex-wife?


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Any reason why the wife and I shouldn't get into the Hot Wife Fetish?
> 
> I wonder if it would bring us closer together.


Lots of reasons: STD's, jealousy, emotional attachment on her part to someone else.......

Also a "fetish" is something you absolutely need to get off, while a fantasy is something that spices things up every now and then.

If you want to try out the Hot Wife fantasy, then may I suggest you follow the advice that fantasies should sometime not become reality.

Specifically, some people who want to explore this get into some elaborate role playing. If you wife will agree get her to dress up or get naked (her choice) in your (or a hotel) bedroom. Then you leave the room for several minutes to an hour, while she relaxes and fantasizes about having sex with another man. At some point she will then put on a blindfold (say when you knock on the door). Enter the room without speaking. Take up a sexual postion or form of foreplay you don't normally do. 

Then have sex with your wife, where she calls you by a different name and/or pretends that her husband is in the room and puts on a sloud how for him. She can say how good your larger member feels and how this is the first real man she has had in years and ask her "husband in the corner" how he likes seeing a real man do her. Again, be silent, let her imagination go wild and have her talk dirty (or however you want) to her imaginary husband who is watching.

Depending on what about Hot Wife turns you on (or her on), after you have climaxed in her, then you can move away from the bed, sit on a chair and she can take off the blindfold. She can then look at you and ask if you enjoyed watching her and explain to you exactly what she enjoyed about her lover. Then she can tell you to come to her at which point the two of you can do whatever it is about this fantasy turns you on, cream pie eating, sloppy seconds, humiliation, tease & denial. 

Try that for a while or variations on it, before you play with real fire that can destroy your marriage.

Enjoy, but go slow.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Are you being real or funny?


----------



## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

What is that?


----------



## Pollo (Oct 17, 2014)

Self Respect??


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> But are you not doing that already right now with all your ex girlfriends that are somewhere out there getting pounded as you read this? Just imagine yourself still in a relationship with them, and them caring less about sex with you. Send them all an email right now if you want and beg for them to send you back pictures of them in action with their current lovers.
> 
> You'll probably have a blast if they do send you pictures, you might even have the illusion of feeling closer to them if they are willing to share such photos.
> 
> Now, here is where it gets real! Imagine your ex girlfriends calling you up explaining she can't get enough and begging for you to send them photos of you and your wife doing it. Would you, or would it seem a bit creepy?


IDK, it kinda sounds weird. Too much sharing, perhaps.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Plan if you are serious
DON'T DO IT!!!


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

OK, you guys convinced me not to go thru with it.


----------



## HiLibido (Dec 10, 2013)

Yeah, right. Total BS is my guess


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Looks like most on here don't think I'd want to go this route in the first place. Still, good to see people's views on this fetish.


----------



## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Depends, how much you want to gamble. Research has shown a woman on average creates an attachment or love to her partner for roughly three hours. A man has an attachment that lasts for about an hour on average. They did brain imaging scans with people who have no attachments for this research. No matter what, it is nearly a guarantee that an attachment will form. Oxytocin is released during sex after all. Usually though, it does fade. Even so, the research shows, that people do fall in love at times. A prostitute has shown occasionally to fall in love with their clients. That is just from sex and attraction. It is just how the biology of sex works. Plus the estrogen bonds with the oxytocin, making most women want to cuddle afterwards, which releases more oxytocin. It is also called the cuddle hormone for a reason.

Also, a female is less likely to quit the open marriage lifestyle than her male counterpart. A female is 60 percent less likely to quit, while a male is 40 percent less likely to quit. Judging form the hormone release research, women find it more satisfying. Women form attachments much easier too.

If you do join, an older couple told me that you should be happy and content with your life. You have to take over more of seeing your own needs. If the time ever comes when your partner falls in love with someone else, your choices are to share them, and you may have to accept that you might be a passenger, or take a back seat to the new person. Divorce and move on, or hope that their relationship does not last, and hope they come back. I was on another forum, where the wife ran off with her partner after one encounter, and he was the one who pushed her into it. He rolled snake eyes on the first try, and he was talking about how great their marriage was, and how they were able to communicate well.

Also, most women in the hot wife lifestyle, originally do it for their husbands, but over time, they start doing it for themselves. Love, lust, attachment, is closely tied to the addiction, and reward center of the brain. For most women, of course a shift would occur where they sleep with other men for themselves. It feeds their reward and addiction center. Although I am not sure of the percentage, there is also cheating occurring in this lifestyle. Sometimes a person forms an attachment so strong, that they cannot stop after just one night, and sometimes form a hidden relationship.

For the most part, about 20 percent claim little to no conflict. Of that 20 percent, more than half do not continue the lifestyle after a certain period.

You can minimize the risk by having a strong marriage. Even so,, happily married people can also form attachments. Who ever said that your spouse can only love one person, and research shows that females have more receptor cells for forming attachments. It is best to learn about the biology of sex and know the risks involved. You have read some threads where the ws op stated that they love both their spouse, and ap.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

This isn't a fetish I know much about, Plan 9, but how hot IS your wife?


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Married but Happy said:


> This isn't a fetish I know much about, Plan 9, but how hot IS your wife?


My wife gets hotter all the time. Menopause you know!


I would answer the HWF with a WTF???


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Amplexor said:


> My wife gets hotter all the time. Menopause you know!
> 
> 
> I would answer the HWF with a WTF???


wouldn't that be the Wife Hot Flash fetish?


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

michzz said:


> wouldn't that be the Wife Hot Flash fetish?


----------



## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I wonder if it would bring us closer together.


do you both want this?


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I wonder if it would bring us closer together.


 @Plan 9 from OS I wanted to resurrect this thread for a bit, as you always seem to speak with such conviction when advising people against various forms of an open marriage. So either:

(A) You are a hypocrite.

(B) You are a robot and updated your OS after this thread.

While perhaps some may think this thread was a joke, I think it is legit. Would you mind expanding on "WHY" you thought this would be a good idea now that you have had about a year to reflect?

Sincerely, 
Badsanta


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Ummm.....NO! 

My wife's body is top secret...NEED TO KNOW BASIS. 

Only I need to know. Any John Doe that thinks they need to know will get suicided.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I wonder if it would bring us closer together.


No. It is difficult to get closer when there is another man in between.

But since you were "talked out of" pursuing this long ago, how has getting closer worked since then?


----------



## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I wonder if it would bring us closer together.


----------



## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

i don't know you or your wife. i would say it would take a special relationship to be able to pull this off. it could work and can work for some. 

does your wife have a high appetite for sex?


----------



## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

Mr.Fisty said:


> Depends, how much you want to gamble. Research has shown a woman on average creates an attachment or love to her partner for roughly three hours. A man has an attachment that lasts for about an hour on average. They did brain imaging scans with people who have no attachments for this research. No matter what, it is nearly a guarantee that an attachment will form. Oxytocin is released during sex after all. Usually though, it does fade. Even so, the research shows, that people do fall in love at times. A prostitute has shown occasionally to fall in love with their clients. That is just from sex and attraction. It is just how the biology of sex works. Plus the estrogen bonds with the oxytocin, making most women want to cuddle afterwards, which releases more oxytocin. It is also called the cuddle hormone for a reason.
> 
> Also, a female is less likely to quit the open marriage lifestyle than her male counterpart. A female is 60 percent less likely to quit, while a male is 40 percent less likely to quit. Judging form the hormone release research, women find it more satisfying. Women form attachments much easier too.
> 
> ...


wow, i am interested where you got all that info? very interesting (to me at least).


----------



## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

OK, I'll take the bait if you are real.

If you google top 0 or 15 fantasies for men, the "Hotwire" thing or seeing wife have sex with another man wil;l pop up. But if you read the books about marital sex, it will also say that fantasies are not erotic scenerios and a lot of fantasies should not be acted upon and should remain fantasies.

Most women find sex without any emotional attachment not what they are looking for on a frequent basis, so you can rest assured that if you try this thing out eventually your wife will find a guy she likes and you will find there is no putting the genie back in the bottle.

If you read about non monogamy, a lot of couples get into it at the insistence or initiation of the husband. But what starts out to be something your wife does to please you turns out to be a nightmare when she refuses to give up the lifestyle when you realize what you have created. Any form of non monogamy is totally controlled by women.

So , like the others have said, be careful what you do and make sure you are prepared for the end result. If you are sure you can live with it, go ahead and go for it.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> @Plan 9 from OS I wanted to resurrect this thread for a bit, as you always seem to speak with such conviction when advising people against various forms of an open marriage. So either:
> 
> (A) You are a hypocrite.
> 
> ...


Just a joke. If I recall during that time period, a slew of threads were started about cuckolding, hot wife fetish, threesome's, etc. I thought most people would assume I was joking. Maybe not... :noel:


----------



## stopstandthere (Jan 15, 2016)

The hot wife thing in fatansy bring us closer indeed.


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Even though this was a tongue-in-cheek question by Plan 9, I have my 2 cents to add.

I admit, I don't know a lot about this topic, but I'm under the impression it doesn't necessarily mean fully sharing your wife with other men.

Rather that it can entail simply sharing pictures or videos. Or to take it further, engaging in sexual acts with your spouse in front of somebody else (who is not involved, other than by simply watching). Am I wrong?

If that's the case, I don't see much wrong with it, TBH. Although I don't quite identify as an exhibitionist/voyeur myself, I can also see the thrill of it. If my wife wanted to experiment with something like that, I'd probably give it a whirl, but it's certainly not something I'd ever pursue, myself.

But sharing? Hells no. Never.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I wonder if it would bring us closer together.


If you do this, please report back about any unpleasant rashes either of you develop.

But please, no pictures. That would be TMI to be frank.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MichelleR (Jan 6, 2016)

Well, my husband is very into this fantasy. I kind of felt like he must be the only one but obviously there are others out there. We have not done anything to act on this in real life but we've had some really great sex talking about it. I had trouble understanding it at first but he's just really into the idea of sharing me because he thinks I'm really good and it would be nice for someone else to experience it, plus it would make me seem like the ultimate ****.

Do we ever talk seriously about it? No. Actually if I bring it up it just turns him on and we have sex. 

But seriously I have kind of debated this. Part of me thinks I should live life to the fullest and really embrace my sexuality and have fun while I'm still young and healthy and hot. However there are quite a few reasons why I'm pretty sure we will never do it in real life.

For one thing, if I had sex with another I feel like it sort of gives him permission to have sex with another woman as well, even if that's not part of the agreement. Maybe I'm more selfish than my husband but I do NOT want him to sleep with another woman and I think I'd feel more insecure if we opened that door.

Of course there are the more obvious real possibilities of getting an STD, unwanted pregnancy, or falling for another guy. 

Another thing is that in spite of the fact that this idea really turns on my husband, he does get jealous. I don't often meet men these days that I find attractive (I know it's strange but most men in my area to me just look out of shape and just not attractive). However there was a married man whom I did find attractive at a party we went to and I didn't tell my husband I thought he was attractive because apparently he was checking me out the whole time we were there and I could tell by my husband's tone of voice that he wasn't pleased. I feel like for it to work around my husband's jealousy I'd have to let him pick the man and that doesn't appeal as much to me. 

Another thingis we'd have to find someone we REALLY trust but if I trust him too much I might end up really developing feelings for him.

There are a lot of things that make the whole idea seem very risky. Right now though I sometimes indulge him in the fantasy when we are having sex just by talking about it as if we are really going to do it, and it's fun for me because I get to fantasize about having the sexual freedom without feeling too guilty either. 

I haven't talked about this to anyone but him before so I feel strange admitting all this but it's nice to know that on here you can admit things you wouldn't admit to people in person.

If you are considering this, have you tried talking about it with her to see if it can spice up your sex life without doing anything so drastic?


----------



## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

MichelleR......believe me, your husband is not alone. I've had this fantasy as long as I can remember. Not sure where it came from or how it got started, but it's still with me.

My first wife initially thought something was wrong with me, but after some role playing and serious conversations, she warmed to the idea. She eventually started an "affair" with her personal trainer, meeting every week or two for about 6 months. Two of your concerns we took care of before she started. She was on birth control, and he was tested at our expense. She seemed to have a little more bounce in her step and we were both excited when she prepped for her "dates". Sometimes I would be waiting for her at home while she was with him, other times they met while I was out of town. The "reclaimation" sex afterwards was amazing. After a while he started wanting more of her and her time than she was willing, so she broke it off. We went back to a more conventional marriage after that, but did eventually divorce (for completely other reasons).

My current wife (together 18 years, married 16) couldn't understand my fantasy when I told her before we were married. Although she didn't think she could be the "hot wife" and see other men on her own, she did find the idea of an MFM interesting. We watched 3sum videos, role played, and thought if the right guy presented himself we would try it. After several months a best friend of mine visited his family in our town, and one thing lead to another and we did it. It was an incredible night......so much so that SHE asked him to come back again the following night. He did and it was even better. Yes I had feelings of jealousy and insecurity, but also extreme arousal and excitement. We were married about 3 months later, and a few months after I had a business trip to where this friend lived. I asked my now wife if she wanted to go and she started packing. Again, and incredible night! A year later same friend was in town and we three went to dinner. I assumed that we would all end up back at our place for some fun. When he excused himself to use the restroom I asked my wife if she was going to invite our friend home. Imagine my surprise and disappointment when she said no. He was also disappointed. When we got home we talked and she said she didn't feel right about it now that we were talking about having a baby (she was still on the pill). Didn't think a PROPER wife and prospective mom should be doing that anymore. So we haven't.

Over the years since our sex life has been on the decline to the point now that we've only had sex once in the last 5 years. Does our past activity have anything to do with this? I don't know, and I don't think so. She won't talk about it. She knows that if she wanted to do it again I would be up for it. In fact I run images of those encounters through my mind often. Our once awesome communication is really lacking now. I wish I knew what was going through her mind.....

Whatever you decide to do with your husband (and the possibility of including another man) is your business and your's alone. Just make that extra effort to keep the channels of communication open. 

Good luck!

One other side note to one of your concerns........my wife said she could never handle seeing me with or sharing me with another woman. For me this was never an issue. The hot wife /wife sharing was strictly for her pleasure and OUR enjoyment.


----------

