# Married and lonelier than I've ever been



## adp79 (Feb 27, 2009)

I've only been married for 3 1/2 months and its already gone completely down hill. I do everything around the house, I'm the only one that works (he's very lazy - can't get out of bed, and he has no ambition), do all the cooking, and pay for everything. But that's not really the bad part. I'm 4 months pregnant and really need a little bit of love and affection. For all that I do for him I never get a thank you, a hug, a kiss, nothing! We lay on separate ends of the couch (I have a big sectional) to watch TV (that is if he can pry himself away from the Playstation long enough to watch TV with me), he hardly ever wants sex. Before we were married we had sex every night. Now we might have it once a week if I initiate it. I'm so lonely. I feel so gross and disgusting. I feel like everything I do is pointless. I asked him why he never wanted to have sex anymore and he said it was because now that we were married he didn't want to get bored with it by doing it every night! What guy has ever worried about getting bored with sex? He's the one that never wants to do anything out of the ordinary. He wants the same position every time, does not perform oral sex but really likes receiving it, and is never up to any suggestion that I have for new places, positions, etc. Aside from the sex thing though - a hug and kiss and an acknowledgement that I'm home when I get home from work would be nice. Instead he's always too glued to the TV to even say as much as hi! I swear its no wonder why some people cheat on their spouses. I'd do just about anything right now for a little attention!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

do you know how much porn your H looks at? also you mentioned in another post that he also goes out with his friends a lot. do suspect he is cheating? if you ask him and he explodes with anger, well, then he's hiding something. not necessarily cheating, but something. when my H didnt want to have sex with me anymore i put spyware on his computer to find out what was going on. its something to consider.


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## adp79 (Feb 27, 2009)

He doesn't like porn - he had a couple porn videos and even gave them away to one of his buddies. And in my other post I said he uses my car to go visit his buddies. He has only went out once since we got married and I know exactly where he was at and there were no girls there. I really don't suspect cheating - he's very shy. I'm actually the one that asked him out when I met him and he's not at all aggressive. I think he's just a very selfish person that is so into himself and his interests he doesn't care about my feelings at all. I think he's actually having second thoughts about this marriage too. A mutual friend told me that he said I'm always in one of my moods which sometimes I am grumpy with him. I get tired of everything being my responsibility and all he worries about is how many trophies he can win on his Playstation football game. He acts like he's about 16 and he's 32. He's never had a checking account, never mailed a letter, etc., and he's not a momma's boy, he's been on his own since he was like 17. He's very immature and doesn't have a clue about life. But we didn't live together before we got married (which was a big mistake) so I didn't realize any of this beforehand. As for the lack of sex thing - I think he either thinks I'm gross because I'm pregnant or all those pills mess him up so bad he doesn't want sex. Don't know.


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## Peridot (Dec 30, 2008)

1) Does he have prescription for those pills he is taking? If so, he should talk to his doctor about maybe changing the prescription. Perhaps he is addicted. If not, then he definitely needs drug addiction councelling. 

2) What did he do before he met you? You say he's been on his own for 15 years. How did he get by without even mailing a letter? Something tells me he is making it seem he is more helpless than he really is.


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## Torntwoways (Mar 4, 2009)

Sounds like he is depressed or something. If not, I'd have to ask why on earth you married him?


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## adp79 (Feb 27, 2009)

No he doesn't have a prescription - he eats nerve pills by the handfuls and snorts any kinda pain pill he can get his hands on. He says that he is depressed but refuses to see a therapist because all he needs is his xanaz or klonopin and he's fine. But all they do is take away his feelings and make him a heartless bastard. He says he needs them to cope (don't know if u read my other posts but he has no worries, no responsibilities, etc. - so I don't know what he needs them to cope for). But now he left me so I guess none of it matters. He'll just eat him some nerve pills and forget totally about me like he does everything else.


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## mitkit46 (Jan 19, 2009)

What is it with men turning into blobs right after they marry?!!!


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## adp79 (Feb 27, 2009)

They resort back to childhood. I thinkn they think we're just someone to mother them. I'm surprised they still wipe their own ass.


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## Blue (Mar 17, 2009)

Your husband sounds depressed. Would he go to therapy and/or see his family doctor? Marriage counselling could also help you two get back the passion and recapture what brought you two together.


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## mannalea00 (Mar 17, 2009)

OMG I'm going through the same thing you are except Im not pregnant.


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