# My daughter and my boyfriend



## Justdoinmybest (18 d ago)

I will start this by saying my daughter is 10 years old. My boyfriend and I have been together now for almost 5 years. My daughter and my boyfriend get along very well. No issues there. He of course isn't her biological father. 

I enjoy family friendly movies, especially while my daughter is watching with me. I am a parent that is aware of the content of a movie before she watches. Here are my boundaries: no sex, nudity, drug use, or violence. 
She does enjoy a scary movie, but there are limitations of course. 

My boyfriend refuses to watch anything that is Disney or cartoon. This is fine. But when he sits down to watch a movie with my daughter, he will pick a movie that he wants to watch and doesn't take into consideration of the parental content of the movie. 
For example, he and my daughter sat down on the couch and started watching Glass Onion on Netflix. I asked what the rating was and he actually said "G for general audience". This wasn't the first time he's played a movie that wasn't appropriate for her to watch. 

So, the parent that I am, I looked up the parent guide. 7 examples of sex and nudity, 5 examples of drug use, 5 for violence. 

We have had the conversation before about the content I don't want her to be watching. We even talked about it in therapy. I'm at the point now where I feel like my parental boundaries are not being respected and I have exhausted every way possible that I can think of to tell him that I don't find certain content to be appropriate for her. 

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

He’s a boyfriend - not a husband, and he doesn’t respect you as a mother.

I’d find it surprising if his dismissiveness is limited to this one issue.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

He behaves like a child. Is there a big age difference between you?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

If he can't respect your boundaries then he fails the bf test, and you should question whether or not he is a safe partner.

5 years together? And this is the only issue? I’m doubting that, he sounds self-centered.

He needs to defer 100% to your judgment raising your child unless you give him permission to do otherwise.


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## Justdoinmybest (18 d ago)

Andy1001 said:


> He behaves like a child. Is there a big age difference between you?


There is actually a 10 year difference between us


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

Justdoinmybest said:


> I have exhausted every way possible that I can think of to tell him that I don't find certain content to be appropriate for her.


No you haven't, you're still living with this bum. Kick his ass out. Seriously, your first priority is to protect your daughter. So what do you do? You shack up with some guy and put your daughter at risk. You're not even married and you're in therapy with this guy? Are you that desperate? And what kind of example are you setting for your daughter by shacking up? Is that what you want for her? You have a lot more problems than TV shows. Pull your head out of your ass and protect your daughter.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I am assuming that you love the man.

I would have a calm and serious talk with him.

Ask him why he thinks it is OK to violate your 'standards', not merely rules.

There is a difference.

Only you can decide if this bf is a keeper.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

He is exposing your daughter to things she isn't old enough to be seeing. 
I wouldn't want a man like that around my child. He is far too selfish to be any sort of step dad.


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## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

She's 10. I was watching everything at 10.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

DamianDamian said:


> She's 10. I was watching everything at 10.


Does that make it ok just because you were allowed to? 
There is a reason why films are graded.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

He doesn't respect your parenting. If that is a big deal for you then time to decide how big. Will you dump him over it if he doesn't change?


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Do you both discuss marriage?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He is apparently going to watch what he wants to watch regardless of how you feel. That wouldn’t work for me.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Justdoinmybest said:


> I will start this by saying my daughter is 10 years old. My boyfriend and I have been together now for almost 5 years. My daughter and my boyfriend get along very well. No issues there. He of course isn't her biological father.
> 
> I enjoy family friendly movies, especially while my daughter is watching with me. I am a parent that is aware of the content of a movie before she watches. Here are my boundaries: no sex, nudity, drug use, or violence.
> She does enjoy a scary movie, but there are limitations of course.
> ...


Dump him. Sorry, but that's my advice. He's not marriage material, in my opinion.


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