# want to be prepared...



## Beckley68 (Aug 29, 2013)

Hi all,

This is my first post, but I have been reading many of your posts and find them very helpful. I think we have all felt at one time or another that we are the only ones experiencing this difficult time in our lives. 

I am interested in some advice... I have been married for over 20yrs. and I am really struggling. I have a fantastic counselor and have been in intensive counseling over the years due to family issues (my mother has some mental illness issues). 

Over the past 7 or 8 years my husband I have struggled. I am a very outgoing, friendly person and my husband is an extreme introvert. As you can imagine this has caused some communication issues. He is emotionally distant and that has created intimacy issues for both of us.

I struggle with being intimate with someone who doesn't even want a deep conversation. I have been very lonely during this time and have been discussing this with my counselor. 

This summer we went to marriage counseling. (he refused to go with my previous counselor). He stated that he would like to start new and see when things went. 

I was stupid and believed that he would try. SO WRONG! He hasn't made one effort to communicate. I went to my counselor last week and we discussed the current situation. She doesn't think he will own his part in healthy communication. I can't have any expectations so I won't get hurt.

As you can imagine it is so difficult and heartbreaking. I am preparing myself for a divorce. 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can start preparing? We have some financial concerns so I can't move out. He also has a quick temper so if I discuss this with him (without the counselor) he'll freak out and kick me out. 

I have to be very careful while I get prepared. I am going to work extra hours to pay off some debt. I'm pretty sure his family will turn against me if they know what's going on. My family is not in any financial situation to help. 

I haven't given up completely, I will still continue with counseling and continue to go to Marriage counseling. I just don't want to be in financial ruin if I have to go through with a divorce.

Thank you for your advice.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

I dont' have any particular advice for you here, aside from a suggestion that this might be a better fit for the "Going through Divorce or Separation" forum as it sounds like you've already made up your mind and want advice/thoughts on how to best go about it, not whether to go through with it or not.


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