# Looking for a bit of advice.



## 20matc11 (Mar 1, 2011)

So, 
I'm just tossing this out there for any thoughts. I am recently divorced (almost 7 months, over a year separated) and think mentally I am about ready to start back into dating. I am 31 years old and there is someone at work who's caught my interest. Age come into play because she is 23. That is not why I am attracted to her, its the little manersims that I think are cute. 

Should I be concerned about the age difference? Would it look like I am falling into the cliche of looking for a younger person after the failure of a marriage?

I'm sure this question has been asked all repeatedly so if you are tired of reading it please don't answer. Constructive advice only please. Thank you for your time.

John


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Maturity of thought and life experience will be a bridge you will have to traverse. It will be challenging but possible.


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## Ducky316 (Aug 16, 2012)

I would be more concerned about her being a co-worker rather than her age. It is seldom a good idea to date someone you work with....regardless of age.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Definitely dont date someone you work with....it always ends badly at some point. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DCWifey (Aug 23, 2012)

wiigirl said:


> Definitely dont date someone you work with....it always ends badly at some point.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I somewhat disagree. My fiance and I met at work, and I'm thankful to have him in my life. But I do agree that you need to be cautious in your approach given the age difference (I know when I was 23, anyone over 30 seemed to be ancient, but some women prefer a more mature mate); also, she may feel weird about things if she knows you're just recently divorced ("Did I unknowingly break up him and his ex-wife?" "Is he trying to bag me because he's going through some 30-year-old crisis?" etc.)

I would recommend getting to know her a little better. Figuring out why you're attracted to her. Letting it simmer for a little bit and then maybe suggesting drinks (solo or with a group of co-workers) some time down the line if she reciprocates the friendliness.

Good luck!


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

my mom was 19 and my dad was 29 when thy got married . They were married for over 50 years until he died at 84.


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## 20matc11 (Mar 1, 2011)

Thank you for all of the responses. A little more background...we work together but not really together. She is a teacher and I am an athletic trainer (injury prevention and treatment with sports teams) at the same high school so our paths cross everyday about 2:00 or after school and sometimes Saturdays is she is monitoring detention. Its kind of like we are working different shifts.

Its easy to talk to her (I hope that's not because I've already been friendzoned.) and we have a similar sense of humor. She seems to be enjoying the single life and perhaps I should be looking to do the same for a while.

I've never done it but have heard good and bad things about dating someone from work. If I approach I would definitely look to ease into it, say casually asking her to a late lunch some Saturday we are both at the school and see how the conversation goes if she agrees. If not ce la vie (sp?). And as far as awkwardness goes if it does go wrong, avoiding contact would be relatively easy and for unrelated reasons I am already set on not being with the same school next year in the interest of advancing my career.

Does it sound to anyone else like I am a bit all over the map at this point?


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## faithsway (Aug 28, 2012)

I had my Son 2 years ago. I stopped working when i was 7 months pregnant; due to some medical issues i developed while pregnant.
I had preeclampsia, Gestational diabetes, High Blood Pressure, and Congestive heart Failure.
I thank God I am alive, but i am now managing some of the medical problem i developed.

My husband has been taking care of most of our bills, except for medical bills for me and my son. Also, he said since i am a stay at home mom, i do not need anything, except for food and a roof over my head. He finds it difficult to buy food in the house, because he claims he cannot afford buying food because he owes a lot of debt. (He is in Debt Settlement).
I am from another country (Nigeria). Most of the debt my husband owes he incurred them before i got here to the United States. I got to the United States in 2009.
I found out he added my name in his debt settlement, because I am his wife.

Whenever I tried to get a job my husband is always against it, he said, there is no way for me to get to the job, since we have just one car. And that is the car he takes to work.
Also, he said taking our son to day care costs a lot of money which means all the money I will be making will go straight to paying for day care. So it is useless for me to get a job. And it makes sense for me to be a stay at home mom with a roof over my head and food.

I got admission into Kaplan university to Study business Administration online (Bachelor’s degree), but my husband discouraged me from going further with my studies, so I cancelled my admission, the reason is because, the school fees is $66.000. (Sixty Six thousand dollars). I qualified for financial aid, but it is not enough to cover the school fees. Financial aid is $5,500 for a year. That means by the time I complete my degree program, I will get about $22,000 financial aid, but I will be left to pay the remaining $ 44,000. This scared me so much and I had to drop out from the program.
I do not have any money of my own. How do I pay for college? Although I am told I do qualify for student loan, but thinking of $44,000 in debt scared me so bad.

Concerning acquiring a car, I told my husband we should stop paying for cable, which is $199 a month (Cable, Internet and home phone). I told him we should only get home phone and internet. We can watch regular TV until I get a job to start supporting him. But he refused. He told me that since I only have my learners permit, he cannot afford to add me in his insurance
My husband makes $2500 a month.

I have health issues, and I do not have health Insurance. My son does not have Health insurance too.
I am so confused. I feel I am in a hole and I have no way out.
My husband works 5 days a week. When he is off he just wants to relax and later in the evening go to the store to shop for the week. Shopping for food is the only recreation I and my son have.
I am losing my mind. I do not know what to do, Wherever I turn there is always a blockade. Please I need some advice or I will lose my mind.
I can’t even go to church because I do not have a ride. I have lost interest in watching TV or just sitting around. I and my husband no longer make love for the past 10 months, because I think he has lost interest in me, even when I talked to him about it, he told me he has so much on his mind.
My husband owes about $20,000 in debt.
Please some body advises me on what to do to change this situation, because it seems there is no way out.


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