# the low down



## i_never_imagined (May 11, 2012)

I've been married 5.5 years. I come home one night and my husband has left me a dear John letter saying he is not content and we are not compatible. I am blindsided. He temporaly moves in with a single female from his job but swears there was never anyone else. About 2 weeks later, he posts a picture and says "this is for a dear friend and a lovely lady. You know who u are, babe." I also get his bank statement and open it to see that since he has left me he has been blowing money like crazy. It looks mostly like he has been buying meals for 2 and he bought tickets to an expensive show. After seeing all this, I went nuts, destroying photographs and throwing things untill holes appeared in the wall. (I never display this type of behavior.) I am now out of the house and he is back in it. I have gone through all the emotions randomly, and I still cry everyday. When he left, many family and friends came out of the woodwork to be there for me. However now, I feel very much alone. What do I do now?


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Protect yourself financially.

Kick him out of the house.

Find a lawyer.


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## jtut21 (Mar 21, 2012)

I am terribly sorry for the difficulty you are going through. Being committed to a person and emotionally vested makes it extremely difficult to face the difficulty of a separation. Realize that people change and this very well could be a time that your husband is extremely confused. Now that you are apart from him take the time to avoid contacting him and get your head clear. Once you feel like you can begin thinking about your future consider what you want out of the relationship with him. If you decide that you want to make the effort to stay get back together it is a real possibility. Taking this route will require you to step back and review in your mind where things started going wrong and how you might be able to make changes. As unfortunate as it can be at times the only person we can control is ourselves and so making improvements and fining things that you enjoy without him will make you a better person and help you start moving on. If you want to try and get back together he will see that you are moving on and it initiates a psychological trigger that causes him to want what he thinks he cannot have which is you.

All the best,

Josh


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

First you talk to a lawyer snd learn your rights and options.

Then you think and choose the best one and follow it.

I'm not trying to over simplify or be flippant. You need to relies that you do have choices and options that you control,not him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

The lawyer thing is a good advise. The other thing is to take care of yourself. Look better, dress better, eat better...you get the drift. Time will pass, and one day you will realize that not only are you feeling better but you're glad that cheater husband of yours is out of the way. For now, its normal to feel lonely. It isn't necessarily a bad thing because you're gonna learn a lot of things about yourself and life during that loneliness and misery, and much good could come out of it. Its up to you to turn a negative into a positive, mind over matter.


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## Davi (Apr 20, 2012)

You can talk to him and can tell him that he has to leave the house, unless you will contact a lawyer for the further process..


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