# My wife wants to put her finger on my rear?



## Clear Blue Water (Sep 16, 2012)

OK I NEED HELP,

This is something that I basically got asked since I meet her the very first time I said NO right away. We been married for over 6 years and recently this subject came up again. This time came with the idea of a toy on me, like a ball chain thing that supposedly is used for men. It sounds like a fantasy for her, but for me… It sounds like torture. I mean I never experience something coming IN through there and I feel terrible because I know she wants to experience. The worst part is that I have done anal sex with her, now I feel like I owe it her lol. I want to do it but I’m a little nervous about it. 

Guys, have any of you experienced this?

Ladies, why she wants experiment this?

HELP,


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My GF expressed an interest in doing this to me, fairly early in our relationship. She understood that prostate massage could give me a mind-blowing orgasm, and she was all in on that. And like your situation, I had anal sex with her. So I figured fair was fair... Our asses are for all intents are identical, so ther was no physical reason why a finger would be more uncomfortable for me than it was for her.

So one day when I was in for a physical and the doctor stepped out of the room, I snagged a couple of gloves. My GF laughed her head off when I showed them to her. . But she has long nails, and we had talked about a glove as being good protection. The resulting sex and orgasm was great, but nothing mind-blowing.

Since then, I bought a small g-spot/prostate stimulator. I actually had a cloth tape measure out when I ordered it to make sure I didn't get something too big. . Again the orgasm was good, but not mind-blowing. What I did find is that it would cause an orgasm even if it didn't seem likely, like having a second one in a short period of time. She also bought me a small vibrating butt plug, with similar results.

My big thing is wanting to not gross her out, and have everything as clean as possible. Like, if I feel a little gassy, there ain't no way I'm letting her near my ass, you know? So it's something that only comes up every few months. She seems to think I need something bigger to cause some fireworks, though... I'm a little concerned about that, but again, if I like anal sex, it's a little hypocritical for me to deny her attempts to make me feel good, right?

C


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

I would like to hear some ladies opinions on this as per the OP request too.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

If your not comfortable, tell her to drop it. I'd never push an issue like this. I'd never want my husband to feel uncomfortable either.

Personally, I'm not for it.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I agree with IILWMH. It's not something I would want to do to my husband. Even if we ever did anal, I still wouldn't do that to him. He's not into it and I won't push him to do anything that makes him uncomfortable.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

It feels great, why not give it a go? Don't worry, enjoying it doesn't mean you are gay.

Of course you shouldn't do anything that you really don't want to do, but at the same time if you are going to be faithful for 30+ years you are going to need to push a few boundaries to keep things fresh, right?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Give it a go. Either you enjoy it or you don't. Either way, she gets to know you tried something new just to please her. You don't have to make a career out of it. If she tries it and she gets no great reaction, she'll probably never bring it up again. If she does get a great reaction from you, you'll be asking her to do it.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

BTW, I'm only encouraging it if you think you might want to try. If you're not into it, then just tell her. But at the same time, how can you know you won't like it if you won't try it at least once? If you use lots of lube, cut the fingernails short (or use a small finger sized toy), and the likelyhood of any pain is pretty small. But stay clear of anything with "King Kong" on the label!

C


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

Only if she spends some time putting her tongue in there first.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I wish my wife would suggest this. I have become really interested since reading about prostate orgasms and have been working on her to do this to me. She is totally non-anal and doesn't want me going near hers (although I love her ass and find it a major turn-on). 

She has begun showing it some attention by putting a vibrator in the area and on the opening during a HJ, and it feels fantastic. Just have to get her to make that leap. 

And for guys who say tat it's an exit only and latent homosexual tendencies to want your ass played with and even penetrated, give it a rest. If its a woman doing it, then the big part of the turn-on is that she is in control. it's not gay if it's not a guy-end of story.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I say give.it a go....what do you have to lose?









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Helpme1 (Apr 24, 2012)

Do it its great!!! Practice to find your anal G spot.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Why stop there she could start pegging you as well 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

In_The_Wind said:


> Why stop there she could start pegging you as well
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Your ID makes this discussion much funnier.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

In_The_Wind said:


> Why stop there she could start pegging you as well
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


and she can say whos your daddy while doing it!


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## shenox (Sep 12, 2012)

you are going to be tortured ))))
man, don't do it.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

I have been reading alot about the prostate massage thing and not sure how pleasureable it is. My wife too suggested this some time ago but, never took her up on it. Though I profess to be open-minded i have to admit that deep down i feel like if i really like this i may be higher up the straight/bi/gay continuum then perhaps i want to admit (to my self/my wife-on an anonymous board-LOL). I have to confess sometimes when i take a poop I really enjoy the sensation. 

I say go for it. If my wife brings it up again i may take her up on it. You may like it. Plus it shows you are open-minded which may allow you both to explore other ways, new ways to please each other.


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## finebyme72 (Jul 12, 2011)

My wife did it by accident early on in our relationship - she thought she was rubbing my "taint!" LOL! It was awesome! the next time I had her rub my prostate and Whoa!!!! It was incredible!!!


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

my wife would do it but she'd tell me to get my head out of my ass first


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> and she can say whos your daddy while doing it!


Well, that could be a bit awkward!


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

finebyme72 said:


> My wife did it by accident early on in our relationship - she thought she was rubbing my "taint!" LOL! It was awesome! the next time I had her rub my prostate and Whoa!!!! It was incredible!!!


The perenium (aka taint) is another pleasurable area that can ht the prostate from the outside. My wife has been pushing and diddling with that spot but I want the full throttle action. 

I shave everywhere and that brings out more sensitivity in the area and is also easier to keep things clean back there. I try to use that as a bargaining chip with my wife as I negotiate the impending prostate massage. 

And as far as pegging goes, I'd be up for that with her, too. I have no worries about turning gay from it and it would be hot to see my wife doing it and hopefully getting off on it too.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Clear Blue Water said:


> of a toy on me, like a ball chain thing that supposedly is used for men.


Sounds like a mace. I would have to vote no on this one.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

thunderstruck said:


> Sounds like a mace. I would have to vote no on this one.


Chicken sh!t.

You never know you might find yourself on a new path and end up like that guy on a horse ranch in Washington. Trust me, don't google it.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

johnnycomelately said:


> Chicken sh!t.
> 
> You never know you might find yourself on a new path and end up like that guy on a horse ranch in Washington. Trust me, don't google it.


Heh. When it comes to getting pegged, or sticking a "ball and chain" up my azz, yeah, call me chicken shyte. Getting violated by my doc once/year is more than enough an*l action for me.

Butt...to each his own.


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## Revel (Mar 13, 2012)

My wife does this for me sometimes, but we have a slender prostate/G-spot vibrator. It's fantastic and I highly recommend it. I also have a tendency towards chronic prostate infections, and an occasional prostate massage is a very effective and pleasurable treatment. 

Once you get used to the feeling of something being there, it really is an amazing feeling. I've never had an orgasm from prostate stimulation alone, but it still feels very good. I think that the best part of it is that it really enhances penile stimulation. I like to get really aroused from that alone, and then have my wife either grab my penis or take me into her mouth. There's a sudden WOW factor when that happens. I think that many men are really missing out on something if they don't have a gal that is willing to do this for them.

For what it's worth, I am extremely straight. Gay people like BJs too, but it doesn't mean that I'm gay if I like to get BJs from my wife.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

(sigh)

Its a personal preference. If it wierds or grosses you out too much, just softly decline. No harm done.

I've had girlfriends in the past into that on both the receiving and giving end or different buttplay - and what it comes down to I believe is that it is only fun and pleasurable if everyone is on the same page. If not, well then its not. (it doesnt matter in the slightest, but I do rather enjoy it). 

Dont underestimate a persons, or your, internal voice, their inhibitions, fears and feelings. These are not something that need to be 'overcome' in order to 'exprience more pleasure'. That is totally, utterly missing the point of good sex.

The sexual menu is large. Move onto the next item as desired. Liver and onions is not everyones favorite meal. Maybe someday you can try it. Maybe not.

(OK, food analogies may be a bad idea here.  )


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I'd be afraid of getting the dirty sanchez


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I'd be afraid of getting the dirty sanchez


:rofl:


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

I was afraid to look when I saw the little icon that someone had attached a picture in this thread.


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

If you don't want to do it then I suggest you don't. It's a matter of my personal preference and ego. Don't give a darn what name I'm called. Nothing enters that area. My wife wouldn't want to anyways, she thinks its not "manly". Whatever floats your boat, hope it works out for you.

Call me old fashion on this, I do the sticking, I don't get stuck.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

Do it Clearwater, just try it once, have her go slow.

You might even like it (I bet you will).


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## jman (Jun 20, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> I'd be afraid of getting the dirty sanchez


only if your a NY Jets fan

:smthumbup: zing!


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I have to say the these anal posts are always the most humorous on TAM. That being said Clearwater I have a suggestion. If you are just absolutely disgusted by this then I doubt it is going to be any fun. If you have had any kind of past experience that was leading to this and you were uncomfortable then it ain't gonna get any better. 

If this is not the case I would suggest your wife give you a massage and get you very relaxed and just tease that area. If you are still flinching at this point then she needs to back off and drop it. If you find a new and interesting sensation then I suggest you run with it. There have been several great suggestions here and you can tell your wife to forget about the "Long John Silver Steely Dan" edition strap on. That would be a deal breaker. Well for me at least.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

You know what I'm wondering about this is why SHE wants to do this? I mean I assume any physical enjoyment that may come from this will be his. Why would she WANT to do this? She just like having stinky fingers?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Better your rear than some other man's.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Drover said:


> You know what I'm wondering about this is why SHE wants to do this? I mean I assume any physical enjoyment that may come from this will be his. Why would she WANT to do this? She just like having stinky fingers?


:rofl:


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## Hosieryishot (Sep 12, 2012)

I wouldn't think twice about it. It can be pleasurable, and doesn't have to be torture. I've had my wife do it before with me and it's just fine. I'd almost prefer that she do it more often. 

I don't see how you could turn it down without even trying it. If you tried it and you hated it, then say no going forward. But to say no without trying seems to be really self limiting yourself.

And like you said, you had anal sex with her and your **** should be much bigger than her fingers and it's highly likely her ass is actually smaller than yours.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

What is it with some women and bending over their men?!

My wife has this fantasy and it freaks the living sh-ts outta me


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## Hosieryishot (Sep 12, 2012)

If it's a fantasy that your wife has, why would you not let her experience what she fantasizes about. 

Honestly, if as the man you fantasize about your women giving you head and swallowing, you would expect that ever now and again she would do this for you.

If you were like me, and found pantyhose/stockings terribly sexy and it was your fantasy to have your wife wearing them from time to time, you would really get turned on if she wore them for you.

If letting her probe your anus with her finger will get her off, why the hell would you say no.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Because my ANUS is EXIT-ONLY!!! Period!

And although a finger would be a start, she actually wants to wear a strap-on and bend me over. So no thanks!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Simple, hosieryishot, if one spouse is not comfortable with something, he or she should not be badgered into doing it. Just because it is someone's fantasy, doesn't mean it NEEDS to be acted out. In a good relationship, the couple understands each other and won't push an issue that is on the "no" list.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Because my ANUS is EXIT-ONLY!!! Period!
> 
> And although a finger would be a start, she actually wants to wear a strap-on and bend me over. So no thanks!


Umm I've had this fantasy too. Maybe it's a dominance thing. dunno.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

No way will my wife dominate my anus!

Ack, now I feel acky, bleh... but maybe if I fart in her face as she tries it - that will be the end of her little fantasy no?


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

Maybe I should remember that next time I am asked for anal.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Haha yeah -> nothing kills it better then a gassy expression of pure stench!

Besides I dont take her that way, she has had past experiences but prefers it where it should be anyway. So I've never done it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Remember to remove your engagement ring.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I have never laughed so much whilst reading any thread on TAM.

" Gender Equality " comes full circle......


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

My DR. gives me a prostate exam 1 per year , and a finger is more than I want.


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## Clear Blue Water (Sep 16, 2012)

thunderstruck said:


> Sounds like a mace. I would have to vote no on this one.


lol. For my lack of knowledge, the toy is refered as anal balls.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

anal stimulation rocks.

I've had fingers, tongues and toys up there.

Fingers don't do it for me, maybe because of nails. Tongues are great but many women won't go there.

A plug shaped vibrating toy, inserted and kept there during orgasm can really heighten the experience. One night recently we had been drinking, and we were screwing, no problems maintaining a hardon but I realized it would be one of those times I just wasn't going to orgasm.. she pulled out the vibrating plug, rammed it home and it almost immediately racheted me to orgasm.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Drover said:


> Why would she WANT to do this? She just like having stinky fingers?


"Brown sugar, how come you taste so good?"


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

mel123 said:


> My DR. gives me a prostate exam 1 per year , and a finger is more than I want.


I'm glad I found a woman doctor with nice small hands. Beats getting prostate exam and realizing both your male doctor's hands are on your shoulders...

As far as WHY she wants to do it to you... Maybe she wants to maximize your pleasure? Maybe it's something she saw in porn, and she just thought it was hot for whatever reason. Hell, I wanted to get my woman to squirt. Doesn't do anything for me physically, but I just enjoy her orgasming that hard. Does that make me selfish? 

C


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'll rather suffer constant hemorroids instead of letting even one doctor stick something up my a$$


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> I'll rather suffer constant hemorroids instead of letting even one doctor stick something up my a$$


It's not hemoroids, it's prostate issues. Once you get over 40, it's highly recommended. 

C


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

Anal Stimulation can really amp up a mans orgasim. As long as it is between the couple and it feels good why not? 

I probably would have been hesitent back when I was a teenager but as a full grown man comfortable in my sexuality, Im not turning down somehting my wife wants to do that feels good for me too. In fact would love for her to do this but she hasn't exspressed an interest as of yet....


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

pucker up


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

My ex-bf loved me playing with his arse. I had never done it before so when I did and I saw his reaction it just made me more excited! It was a total turn on to see him so turned on. And it was nice to have another thing to do to please him in my arsenol --> pun intended! 

But here's my advice.... go at it alone one day. Go out and buy a slim, ribbed, flexible toy and take it into the shower with you. Or simply lay down in bed. Make sure you know you will be alone for a while so you can relax and think of nothing else. You might surprise yourself and enjoy it. And if that happens then you'll be able to give in to your wife's wishes without being apprehensive. If you do not like it then just say, "Honey, I appreciate you wanting to do this for me but it is not something that makes me feel comfortable". Period, the end. Since my ex-bf I had asked one other partner if he would like to try it (because I knew how much it excited ex) and he said No. I dropped it and never brought it up again.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

IrishGirlVA said:


> My ex-bf loved me playing with his arse. I had never done it before so when I did and I saw his reaction it just made me more excited! It was a total turn on to see him so turned on. And it was nice to have another thing to do to please him in my arsenol --> pun intended!
> 
> But here's my advice.... go at it alone one day. Go out and buy a slim, ribbed, flexible toy and take it into the shower with you. Or simply lay down in bed. Make sure you know you will be alone for a while so you can relax and think of nothing else. You might surprise yourself and enjoy it. And if that happens then you'll be able to give in to your wife's wishes without being apprehensive. If you do not like it then just say, "Honey, I appreciate you wanting to do this for me but it is not something that makes me feel comfortable". Period, the end. Since my ex-bf I had asked one other partner if he would like to try it (because I knew how much it excited ex) and he said No. I dropped it and never brought it up again.


I noticed you said ex boyfriend did he change teams ??


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

In_The_Wind said:


> I noticed you said ex boyfriend did he change teams ??



:lol::rofl::rofl:

Was wondering the same.......


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Drover said:


> Only if she spends some time putting her tongue in there first.


When my wife use to do this (before marriage) it was the best feeling ever...EVER.


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