# One way marriage



## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

Hi all.
I need some help and advice

myself and my wife have been together for over 20 years and married for over 10.
Everything in the relationship and marriage have been great.
3 years ago we moved away from the town we met to a different part of the UK. 

since Christmas this year I have noticed that my wife is no longer willing to show me any affection or intimacy. We don’t kiss anymore and when I try to initiate any body contact she pulls away. This is starting to really affect my self esteem and mindset.
I love my wife to bits and I still find her as beautiful and sexy as the day we met.
I have tried to talk to her about it but she just shuts the conversation down and carries on watching TV. 

I don’t know what else to do.

has anyone else been in this situation? If so did you get through it and how.


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## QuietGuy (Aug 31, 2021)

Sounds like there is another man. Check her phone bill as a start.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Hi all.
> I need some help and advice
> 
> myself and my wife have been together for over 20 years and married for over 10.
> ...


Any kids in the house?
Do both of you work?
How was your sex life before you moved?
How close are the new friends you have in the new hone?


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

Tell her everyone knows communication is so important to relationships, including her, yet when you try to discuss this, she shuts down the conversation.

Tell her that when she does this, it's NOT helping the situation, it's only making it worse. Putting her head in the sand and ignoring it will only make the issue grow larger between the two of you.

Ask her how she'd feel if she wanted to talk to you about some issue or topic and whenever she did, you shut it down and basically ignored her.

Go turn the TV off and tell her that your relationship is more important than anything on TV.

Or tell her that the two of you will talk about this tomorrow night so tell her to gather her thoughts and be ready to discuss it with you then.


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## redmarshall (11 mo ago)

You have to have a conversation with her, period. Doesn't matter what it takes, there must be a reason for this behavior.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Hi all.
> I need some help and advice
> 
> myself and my wife have been together for over 20 years and married for over 10.
> ...


Verify whether or not there is another man or perhaps a woman she is involved with. 

Sudden, unexplainable withdrawal of intimacy and affection more often than not means someone outside your marriage is the new recipient. 

Who is your wife spending time with if she is not with you?


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## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

If this isn't menopause, it's just plain men.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Don’t fall into the I love her so much she must love me too trap. That’s not how it works.
Good advice on checking the phone bill.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Sounds like it is time for you to go into detective mode. A sudden change in intimacy usually signals that there is someone else in the picture. Good luck.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

I vote for another man as well. Studden changes normally have a specific cause...


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## 24NitroglyceriN26 (11 mo ago)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Hi all.
> I need some help and advice
> 
> myself and my wife have been together for over 20 years and married for over 10.
> ...


Oh, I could recommend you ask him


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

A change in city.new friends, new MEN.
Now no sex intimacy suddenly?
Obviously a new man.
Very sorry brother. It happens.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Check the phone bill.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

update ?


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## EranTeicher (11 mo ago)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Hi all.
> I need some help and advice
> 
> myself and my wife have been together for over 20 years and married for over 10.
> ...


Wow man, this is really tough. You need so much more affection than this and not only affection - but communication and empathy and respectful attention when you talk to her about your pain and your mutual problems. It seems like she's running away from the problem and this won't make it go away.
REDACTED


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## 24NitroglyceriN26 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> A change in city.new friends, new MEN.
> Now no sex intimacy suddenly?
> Obviously a new man.
> Very sorry brother. It happens.


Sorry to hear that - please do what you can


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## Needinmore (11 mo ago)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Hi all.
> I need some help and advice
> 
> myself and my wife have been together for over 20 years and married for over 10.
> ...


The first step is communication. It’s so easy to feel alone with no one to talk to about your concerns. You keep everything bottled up too ashamed to talk to friends and family and your fears just keep playing in your head to the point it’s all you can think about. This isn’t good and will only get worse until you can sit with your wife and have a serious talk. I wouldn’t do it at home, especially in front of the TV. Ask your wife to go to dinner or just for a drink, even a drive, just go anywhere but home so you have her attention. After that many years together you both owe at least that much of an effort to each other. Tell her how much you love her and that you feel that perhaps you don’t say it enough. Ask her if she‘s happy in the relationship and try to have an honest, adult conversation. Tell her your feelings without making accusations or aggressive tone. Ask her to help you understand what’s making you feel the way you do. The main thing is just talk about the marriage. Ask if she loves you enough to go to counseling to try to save the relationship. I wish you the best.


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## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

So just a quick update.
We have talked and she has admitted that she is depressed. She says she doesn’t feel sexy any more and has gone off sex.
I said we could share a kiss and not lead to anything hit again she refused.
She is in the process of getting counselling for her depression. 
I have asked her outright if she still fancies ME which she has said she does. So not to sure how to read into this at the moment.
I am exhausted in trying ways ti just show her affection and get affection in return.
I’m at a loss right now.
I will keep you all updated.


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## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

EranTeicher said:


> Wow man, this is really tough. You need so much more affection than this and not only affection - but communication and empathy and respectful attention when you talk to her about your pain and your mutual problems. It seems like she's running away from the problem and this won't make it go away.
> As a Psychologist and relationships counselor, I can recommend a really great free service that helps with these kinds of issues.


Yes please what is the service.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Anonuser2016 said:


> So just a quick update.
> We have talked and she has admitted that she is depressed. She says she doesn’t feel sexy any more and has gone off sex.
> I said we could share a kiss and not lead to anything hit again she refused.
> She is in the process of getting counselling for her depression.
> ...


it is possible.
women do get into a body image funk sometimes. they convince themselves that nobody could possibly like their old dumpy body. just talking to them does not fix this, they believe it so much.

it will take a good 6 months at least to snap her out of it, if you can.
start off by taking her clothes shoping. Have her buy SEXY clothes. not granny stuff.
throw out her granny white panties, and take her to victorias secret to buy some sexy lacy colored ones.
buy her some bustiers. 

you have to take her shopping, as there is not hope of you buying the correct size. you are along on the shopping trip to show her sexy things YOU LIKE and want her to wear, and to encourage her to break out of her old way of thinking.

when you get home, have her model all the lingerie she just bought.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

Anonuser2016 said:


> So just a quick update.
> We have talked and she has admitted that she is depressed. She says she doesn’t feel sexy any more and has gone off sex.
> I said we could share a kiss and not lead to anything hit again she refused.
> She is in the process of getting counselling for her depression.
> ...


Your wife may indeed be depressed. Does she have a history of battling depression? 

If the answer is no, I would recommend that you continue to discreetly investigate. Considering the abrupt nature of her freezing you out it would be best to determine the cause. Yes she has offered you a possible and plausible answer - depression. But the little you have described suggests there may be someone else she is involved with. A wayward spouse will often be reluctant to cheat on their lover with their betrayed spouse. Almost as if the spouse is like a complete stranger off the street.

You will not be able to verify this by asking her directly. People lie. Continue your dialogue with her but I do not believe you will have the answers you need by this avenue.

There are several ways for you to proceed. Hiring a private investigator would be option #1. You can monitor email and txt if you have access or are willing to look or even install spyware and keyloggers. You can also employ voice activated recorders at home or in a vehicle.

Trust but verify (discreetly)


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

marko polo said:


> Your wife may indeed be depressed. Does she have a history of battling depression?
> 
> If the answer is no, I would recommend that you continue to discreetly investigate. Considering the abrupt nature of her freezing you out it would be best to determine the cause. Yes she has offered you a possible and plausible answer - depression. But the little you have described suggests there may be someone else she is involved with. A wayward spouse will often be reluctant to cheat on their lover with their betrayed spouse. Almost as if the spouse is like a complete stranger off the street.
> 
> ...


This would be the sure way to destroy your marriage. what happens if there is no other man? How would she react knowing her husband hired a private investigator, monitors her email and text with spyware? If my wife did this to me this would sure end our marriage and my love for her.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

romantic_dreamer said:


> This would be the sure way to destroy your marriage. what happens if there is no other man? How would she react knowing her husband hired a private investigator, monitors her email and text with spyware? If my wife did this to me this would sure end our marriage and my love for her.


You did read the part where I said investigate discreetly? In case it is actually depression driving a wedge between the OP and his wife. If his wife is stepping out do you expect she will volunteer this information, come clean?

People indulging in affair are too distracted to notice a professional / private investigator documenting the affair (photos, video). Discretion is part of a PI's job.

Investigating possible infidelity would be a sure way to destroy a marriage. Ignoring the possibility of infidelity does not mean it isn't there nor will ignoring the possibility remedy the OPs situation. Withdrawing affection and or or giving it to others can also end a marriage.

It would be a deal breaker for you if your wife investigated you. We aren't talking about you or your wife looking into your actions. Do you have something to hide from your wife?

It may be your preference to trust blindly and be passive in a similar situation that is your choice. Perhaps you are an apologist for wayward behavior? A white knight defending milady's honor?


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Hi all.
> I need some help and advice
> 
> myself and my wife have been together for over 20 years and married for over 10.
> ...


I was in 2015....my wife was having an affair. She does not want sex with you so as not to cheat on her lover? Go into detective mode.


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

marko polo said:


> You did read the part where I said investigate discreetly? In case it is actually depression driving a wedge between the OP and his wife. If his wife is stepping out do you expect she will volunteer this information, come clean?
> 
> People indulging in affair are too distracted to notice a professional / private investigator documenting the affair (photos, video). Discretion is part of a PI's job.
> 
> ...


"Investigating" or spying on your spouse is as horrible think as infidelity. It does matter how covert this spying is. It would be the same as advise someone to cheat so his or her spouse will never find out. As all affairs are eventually discovered so is the spying. Both are equally bad to destroy a marriage.

He asked her what the reason for her changed behavior and she told him it is her depression.


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## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

Hi all. My wife is not tech privvy at all. She gets me to update apps on her phone all the time. Yes I have had a sneaky look at texts / emails and there is nothing I can find.
Maybe I am reading too much into this. Maybe she is just that depressed that at the moment sex and affection are just not on the cards

either way I have had the discussion with her and she knows I have asked the ‘other person’ question. I will monitor what happens over the next couple of weeks and see what transpires.
I will keep you updated.
Thanks for advice


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

romantic_dreamer said:


> "Investigating" or spying on your spouse is as horrible think as infidelity. It does matter how covert this spying is. It would be the same as advise someone to cheat so his or her spouse will never find out. As all affairs are eventually discovered so is the spying. Both are equally bad to destroy a marriage.
> 
> He asked her what the reason for her changed behavior and she told him it is her depression.


Yes he did ask her. As I said earlier not only does the reason sound possible but plausible and yet the OP remains unsatisfied with the answer. People lie. Cheaters more so and many do so convincingly. The only way forward is to verify what has been told to him. Verify that there is no other man or woman that his wife is involved with. He can't do that by sitting back. Not everyone wants to hide there head in the sand as you do. That is your preference.

There is nothing horrible about the pursuit of truth except for those whom are narcissistic or have something to hide such as yourself.

You are a fool to equate investigating/questing the loyalty of a spouse with the actual infidelity. Does such investigation carry the same risks as infidelity? Risk of STDs, unwanted pregnancy or paternity fraud? Such investigation can damage the relationship but the relationship is already damaged if you are compelled to look in the first place. For most that is a risk worth the effort.

Have a good look through this forum and others like it. How many individuals that choose to investigate find that they are wrong when they start digging vs those that discover the truth? There are many that delayed their investigation as a result of successful gaslighting by their cheating spouse. Ironically it is very similar to your effort to argue that investigation is horrible. The main difference being that you are clumsy, inept and ineffective.

The OP has already had a discreet look at her emails and will continue to monitor his wife's communications. A prudent course.


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

marko polo said:


> Yes he did ask her. As I said earlier not only does the reason sound possible but plausible and yet the OP remains unsatisfied with the answer. People lie. Cheaters more so and many do so convincingly. The only way forward is to verify what has been told to him. Verify that there is no other man or woman that his wife is involved with. He can't do that by sitting back. Not everyone wants to hide there head in the sand as you do. That is your preference.
> 
> There is nothing horrible about the pursuit of truth except for those whom are narcissistic or have something to hide such as yourself.
> 
> ...


You realize that not trusting your spouse and spying on your spouse is equal to cheating as it undermines trust. If I found out my wife has hired private investigator to spy on me installed tracking software on my phone or computer it would end our marriage right then. If she asks me a question, i give her the answer. If she does no trust me then she cannot be married to me, period. Unless he has super hard evidence of her lying he has no right not to trust her. Does not mater how harsh the truth is.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

romantic_dreamer said:


> You realize that not trusting your spouse and spying on your spouse is equal to cheating as it undermines trust. If I found out my wife has hired private investigator to spy on me installed tracking software on my phone or computer it would end our marriage right then. If she asks me a question, i give her the answer. If she does no trust me then she cannot be married to me, period. Unless he has super hard evidence of her lying he has no right not to trust her. Does not mater how harsh the truth is.


You are very much a broken record. 

The OP has already ignored your sage advice and done what was in his best interest. He has checked his wife's phone and will continue to monitor her activities.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

romantic_dreamer said:


> You realize that not trusting your spouse and spying on your spouse is equal to cheating as it undermines trust. If I found out my wife has hired private investigator to spy on me installed tracking software on my phone or computer it would end our marriage right then. If she asks me a question, i give her the answer. If she does no trust me then she cannot be married to me, period. Unless he has super hard evidence of her lying he has no right not to trust her. Does not mater how harsh the truth is.



Dude you are not a romantic dreamer, you are a romantic fool. If we were to go by your skewed philosophy, I would go to my grave oblivious to what goes in the real world. You must have grown up in a very sheltered life. I'm glad that OP is taking matters into his own hands. Good for him.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Was it YOUR idea to move ?


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## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> Was it YOUR idea to move ?


It was a mutual decision to move, we had this planned for around 5 years, we saved up the money, sorted out jobs, then COVID hit hard and we had to delay our plans till late 2020, I asked her months before the actual move if she still wanted to move away and she said she could not wait. My wife was the one who was looking at houses and areas to live so you could say she was the one really driving the move.

I will point one thing out, I dont regularly check phone / emails. Its not something I am comfortable with.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

While it is possible that there is another man, she could also be feeling some sort of resentment toward you. Pulling away is often one of the signs, so you might want to investigate that part too. 

Have you always been affectionate? If she's had to beg, plead, etc. to get attention and affection in the past, she may have now distanced herself. She may be training herself to not want / need your touch any more. Sometimes, some men don't notice this kind of thing and just think, whew, she's finally stopped bugging me. So, be careful what you wish for. 

Talk to her and try to find out whatever is bothering her. She may be getting depressed if she hasn't adjusted well to the move or is simply home sick or lonely.


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## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

Just a quick update. My wife has left me and our children. She has gone back down south. I am now left with a mountain of work and questions that I need answers to.
I cannot believe she just wants to throw everything away like that.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Just a quick update. My wife has left me and our children. She has gone back down south. I am now left with a mountain of work and questions that I need answers to.
> I cannot believe she just wants to throw everything away like that.


She left you and the children? It is not common for women to leave their children behind unless they feel they have no financial means to support them. Did she move back to where you were living before? Did she give any reason for leaving? I do question an affair. Do you know where she is living, or who she is living with? 

You mentioned in your original post that you and your wife have been together for 20 years, married 10. Were you together as a couple the entire 10 years before you married? Who wanted to wait on marriage? 10 years seems a long time to wait before getting married. How old are your children?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Just a quick update. My wife has left me and our children. She has gone back down south. I am now left with a mountain of work and questions that I need answers to.
> I cannot believe she just wants to throw everything away like that.


A wife leaving her home, kids, and hubby?
Not very common unless there‘s a really strong attraction to something(someone).

So sorry to hear this OP


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Anonuser2016 said:


> Just a quick update. My wife has left me and our children. She has gone back down south. I am now left with a mountain of work and questions that I need answers to.
> I cannot believe she just wants to throw everything away like that.


Sorry about this -- but it's pretty clear that she has someone else on the hook. For a mother to leave her kids? VERY unusual, so she must be deep in the affair fog with someone else.
Get with a laywer ASAP, start documenting all of this.


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## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

AVR1962 said:


> She left you and the children? It is not common for women to leave their children behind unless they feel they have no financial means to support them. Did she move back to where you were living before? Did she give any reason for leaving? I do question an affair. Do you know where she is living, or who she is living with?
> 
> You mentioned in your original post that you and your wife have been together for 20 years, married 10. Were you together as a couple the entire 10 years before you married? Who wanted to wait on marriage? 10 years seems a long time to wait before getting married. How old are your children?


Yes we was a couple for around 9 years before getting married. We didn’t want to rush into things just take it slow. My kids are 17 and 20(but my 20 year old is autistic and does not understand things)


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Anonuser2016 said:


> It was a mutual decision to move, we had this planned for around 5 years, we saved up the money, sorted out jobs, then COVID hit hard and we had to delay our plans till late 2020, I asked her months before the actual move if she still wanted to move away and she said she could not wait. My wife was the one who was looking at houses and areas to live so you could say she was the one really driving the move.
> 
> I will point one thing out, I dont regularly check phone / emails. Its not something I am comfortable with.


Covid has caused a huge amount of depression in the world with the lock downs and limited mobility and fear.

Moving during Covid basically pulled up your wife's feeling of community, roots, and suport. Yes she agreed to it, but she probably didn't realize how difficult it would be to find new friends new places to go and feel comfortable, etc.

She may have become overly dependent on you, and you may have had to do things at your new location to maintain or establish your career, which make her feel alone. This has happened to lots of people around the world. It is not unique.

It is good she is seeing someone for her depression and it is good that Covid and its restrictions on life style are moderating at the moment.

Good luck.


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## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

She reached out to our kids this morning saying she is missing them already and she also asked if I was OK? Not sure how to read into this. Im not sure if she just needs to take some time out or if this really is the end


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

Anonuser2016 said:


> She reached out to our kids this morning saying she is missing them already and she also asked if I was OK? Not sure how to read into this. Im not sure if she just needs to take some time out or if this really is the end


Assume this is the end of the marriage and act accordingly. It would be unwise to trust your wife. Furthermore it would be unwise to underestimate your wife.

Speak to a lawyer as soon as possible and see if her departure from the home can be classified as abandonment. Take steps to protect yourself and your assets.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

marko polo said:


> Assume this is the end of the marriage and act accordingly. It would be unwise to trust your wife. Furthermore it would be unwise to underestimate your wife.
> 
> Speak to a lawyer as soon as possible and see if her departure from the home can be classified as abandonment. Take steps to protect yourself and your assets.


Unfortunately I agree with marco.
You should protect your heart, finances, assets, and children as much as possible right now.

Her acting like this is extreme and you can’t explain it away very easily.
“I needed a week away”

My wife would have me drawn and quartered if I tried something so stupid.
And she would be right.

Your wife left for a reason.
Guard yourself carefully.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I'm sure your wife has said something to explain this in the past. Maybe not directly, but there must be something she is not happy about. Since you brought up the move kind of randomly, I'm wondering if she is not happy about the move. Otherwise has she told you she just isn't interested in sex anymore or has she told you she is exhausted?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Anonuser2016 said:


> So just a quick update.
> We have talked and she has admitted that she is depressed. She says she doesn’t feel sexy any more and has gone off sex.
> I said we could share a kiss and not lead to anything hit again she refused.
> She is in the process of getting counselling for her depression.
> ...


What brought on the depression? Was it the move? Has she gained some weight that makes her feel not sexy? Is she tired and exhausted from children or work?

I hope she does see a psychologist and get her depression looked into.


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## Landofblue (May 28, 2019)

So where is she? Do you know what town? Is it the old one you came from? Is her family there? Is yours?

Is there a friend that would be willing to see what doin without her noticing? Can you Ask them to see if she’s spending time with another man? Or can you hire a PI to do so?

what do you think?


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## Anonuser2016 (11 mo ago)

My wife has gone back to where we used to live, she is staying with one of her family members sofa surfing. They will not tell me anything (i have tried to talk to them) so I cannot get any info on whether she is seeing anyone else. In relation to the move, I asked on numerous occasions if this is something she really wanted and every time she replied with a yes. Like I said in a previous post, it was my wife who looked into the new houses, spoke to the estate agent and arranged everything. I don't think she is exhausted due to work as she has not worked since the new year started. I asked her weeks ago if she wanted to move back down south and she said no. I am so confused right now.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Anonuser2016 said:


> My wife has gone back to where we used to live, she is staying with one of her family members sofa surfing. They will not tell me anything (i have tried to talk to them) so I cannot get any info on whether she is seeing anyone else. In relation to the move, I asked on numerous occasions if this is something she really wanted and every time she replied with a yes. Like I said in a previous post, it was my wife who looked into the new houses, spoke to the estate agent and arranged everything. I don't think she is exhausted due to work as she has not worked since the new year started. I asked her weeks ago if she wanted to move back down south and she said no. I am so confused right now.


I don’t know what she’s doing any more than you or the next guy.

But from your posts it seems really clear that she doesn’t want to be with you and is starting to move on.

Why is that? Could be a bunch of reasons but seeing another man is high on the list of possibilities.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. You really need to start detaching emotionally and facing the truth about this. Your marriage will never again be what you wish it was. My advice, like many others, is to get a lawyer and start standing on your own two feet without her In your life. Easier said than done, but it’s apparently necessary.


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## Landofblue (May 28, 2019)

So if there is no friend you can ask to check on her and who she is hanging out with, how about hiring a PI to send you pics of what she is doing?

I highly suspect there is someone else. An old boyfriend or flame unfortunately.
Sorry for your pain.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

Anonuser2016 said:


> My wife has gone back to where we used to live, she is staying with one of her family members sofa surfing. They will not tell me anything (i have tried to talk to them) so I cannot get any info on whether she is seeing anyone else. In relation to the move, I asked on numerous occasions if this is something she really wanted and every time she replied with a yes. Like I said in a previous post, it was my wife who looked into the new houses, spoke to the estate agent and arranged everything. I don't think she is exhausted due to work as she has not worked since the new year started. I asked her weeks ago if she wanted to move back down south and she said no. I am so confused right now.


They all say yes and then change their mind when they get what they asked for. They all delay and stall for time. They have no desire to lose their safety net (you) before they have to.

*You cannot trust what she says now or going forward. * I also tried to get a straight answer from my ex wife when she sprung a separation on me while I was visiting my family in my home town. I attempted to act swiftly. I went to get my belongings a few days after she declared we were separated. I spent two days back where she and I had been living with the intention to gather all my things and moving on. Over the course of those two days she had changed her mind. I must have asked her at least 20 times if she was sure she wanted to stay together. Her answer was* yes each time*. I decided not to pack up (mistake) and travel back to my home town to finish visiting with my family. A few days later over the phone my wife says she wants to stay separated. I could have been packed up and completely gone from her if she hadn't wasted my time with her lies over those two days. She was involved with another man but I wouldn't learn that until about 2 months later.

Your wife is with friends back home and you have no means of verifying whether or not she is with someone else. Her friends will cover for her regardless. Assume the worst and act accordingly. Do not speak with her or attempt to speak with her going forward. There is nothing to gain by doing so. Certainly you won't get the truth so why bother?

If you desire closure you will find that within with the passage of time as you move on. DO NOT attempt to seek closure from her. She will merely dangle it like a carrot in front of you and pull it away to deny you and set your healing back.

Speak with a lawyer. Verify if her departure can be classified as abandonment of both the home and the marriage. Apply for full custody. File for divorce and have her served. Worry about life for you and your kids. Do not allow her to come back into your life. Her actions should tell you the marriage is over for whatever reason. You gave her plenty of opportunity to voice concerns and address them before her abrupt departure. She made her choice and it wasn't you.


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