# My wife is being a ***** and im so F**ing tired of it.



## DrivingMeNuts (Oct 8, 2011)

My wife, just married like 4 months ago, has changed, she is being a complete *****.

The reason is, she has made loads of mistakes in the past, lied, been untruthful to me about things until i proved her to be lying.

So now that i hold her accountable for her wrong doings, she says that i should "forget the past" but her past is a part of our day to day life.

She has had flings with almost all of her sisters boyfriends friends and they are ALWAYs at the parties and event that her sister throws. and her sister throws events like every month.

I have told he that i feel uncompfortable that she goes to these places where ALL of these guys are, and she simply says "what do you expect me to do not go to my sisters events?"

what am i to do? i want to devorce her, i really do but i dont at the same time, hoping she will change somehow, she is completely incosiderate of my feelings and does everything she can to cause arguments so that she can storm out the house and every time that happens there COIsIdeNtaLy seems to be a party that shes going to when she storms off.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Ever heard the saying, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." 

She is showing you who she is. So, regardless of what she is doing, you have control if you continue to allow it or not. My guess is, if you stay in this relationship, its highly unlikely it will change, so you can probably expect more of this to come. 

If you feel you deserve better, you need to end it.

BTW, I doubt she did a complete change after you all married. I'm sure those qualities in her were already there, and it could be you just missed them or perhaps turned a blind eye to them.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Jamison said:


> Ever heard the saying, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."
> 
> She is showing you who she is. So, regardless of what she is doing, you have control if you continue to allow it or not. My guess is, if you stay in this relationship, its highly unlikely it will change, so you can probably expect more of this to come.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

You guys should still be in the honeymoon phase.

You can try reading some of the posts around here regarding "boundaries" - establish some rules and reasonable consequences.

Or - after 4 months - consider it to be a learning experience and just move along.

Good luck.


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## RoseRed (Aug 27, 2011)

DrivingMeNuts said:


> My wife, just married like 4 months ago, has changed, she is being a complete *****.
> 
> The reason is, she has made loads of mistakes in the past, lied, been untruthful to me about things until i proved her to be lying.
> 
> ...


I don't think either one of you are ready to be married...moreso, her. Neither of you are mature enough nor completely understand the seriousness of marriage.

It would be a very long path of MC and struggle to put this marriage together. It can be done, but both of you would have to be prepared to work VERY hard.

Best wishes....


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Just trying to let you know it is an endless battle trying to fight the rejection. It will never get better. In saying that , I have become very codependent over the years and if you are not aware of codependency , I suggest you read up on it. It is very enlightening and will explain alot of things to you. You definitely have symptoms of it , but certainly not as bad as I have become a prisoner to it. My whole story at Very Lost and Broken ! .... Very Long ... it will show you patterns of what we codies do ! Hope it helps.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

DrivingMeNuts said:


> ... she simply says "what do you expect me to do not go to my sisters events?"


yep, that's exactly what you tell her, to me this is a reasonable boundary. You reap what you sow and since she sowed with all those friends of her sister and never thought it was important to tell you about them, the consequence is you don't trust her particularly around those guys. It's not that she has cheated, but she has been dishonest. Besides, she doesn't "need" to go to monthly parties with her sister, she should have her own friends and that doesn't include people she's had sex with. She can still have a close relationship with her sister without it always being a party atmosphere. DMN, like others have said, at this stage in your relationship these problems shouldn't normally start surfacing, but be glad they are now instead of later before you get too vested in the relationship - for now, walking is a feasible option of enforcing your boundaries, and if she lets you out of her life because she is trying to control you then it is her mistake to make and her loss. Good luck whatever you decide.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Also, don't threaten divorce unless you mean it - if that is what you "really" want right now it is a bad sign that the marriage wasn't based on the right foundation.


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## Zax (Oct 20, 2011)

You should leave her now before you have kids. The divorce will be less messy.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover!


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