# Alcoholism?



## helpstone (May 31, 2009)

My father was an alcoholic. I shared all of the stories about my issues with being a child of an alcoholic with my husband. Now, my husband is drinking. He drinks almost every day. He is not violent, but the smell...that stinking smell of alcohol on him, and his incapacity to have a conversation with me when he drinks is driving me to make a decision to end our marriage. I need some advice desperately! He beleives I am overreacting, because I grew up with an alcoholic. He might be right...but then again...I could be right too. What do I do???


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Move out. let him see what it means to you, when he quits...talk and consider moving back in. It's important to YOU.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

helpstone said:


> My father was an alcoholic. I shared all of the stories about my issues with being a child of an alcoholic with my husband. Now, my husband is drinking. He drinks almost every day. He is not violent, but the smell...that stinking smell of alcohol on him, and his incapacity to have a conversation with me when he drinks is driving me to make a decision to end our marriage. I need some advice desperately! He beleives I am overreacting, because I grew up with an alcoholic. He might be right...but then again...I could be right too. What do I do???



My father was an alcoholic too for most of his life, he 
went way down on his alcohol consumtion later in life due to diabetes but I grew up with his drinking. I am aware of the smell and disgusted by it too.
I could NEVER be with a man like that. Never. I'd high tail it out of there and fast before it brings you down and takes all joy from life.
My husband drinks but only 1 or 2 beers a month, one beer....
and thats ok with me as thats about how much I drink, if that. If he were to start drinking daily or, coming home with a 6 pack
you can bet that would be it 
because I'd leave him.


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## euphoria (May 31, 2009)

I know what you are going through. I had the same issue in the beginning of my marriage. My stepdad was an alcoholic and there was always beer in the fridge, even though there was usually not juice or milk...always plenty of budweiser. When my H and I started out, I would freak if there was beer in the fridge, I have no idea why. He didn't drink too much, maybe on the weekend and then there would be some just in the fridge left over. Well when I would see it I would get upset and not know how to bring it up. I got over it somehow and even have a drink myself now and then, I have actually gotten out of control with it a few times...but stopped before there was a problem. Not drinking everyday, but just not being able to hold it. I think alcohol is just bad anyway you look at it. I do have a glass of wine once every blue moon, but I can't overdo it...it just doesn't sit well with me.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

You say "now" he is drinking, which suggests his drinking has increased. I think you have to put it on the line, for your own sake. Dcrim gave good advice. Is his alcohol more important than you? If so, better to leave now before it gets ugly. He has to decide--alcohol or the marriage. It should not even be a contest, so if it is, you know the answer, regardless of what he "decides." Good luck.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

there is no smell as disgusting as drunk alcoholic breath, except drunk alcoholic breath and smokers breath both...

if he wants to make boozing his priority, don't enable him...
no matter how badly he protests.


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## yesterday (Feb 6, 2009)

I am sorry that you are in this situation. Unfortunately via personal experience (not professional training) I am very knowledgeable about the impact of alcohol abuse on families and lives. I am glad to see that you are reaching out for help, as pretending this is not a problem will only lead to bigger problems.

If alcohol is affecting your husband's life negatively or the lives of his loved ones, he has a drinking problem. People do recover from alcoholism if they want to. This typically is a long, difficult process for both the alcoholic and his loved ones.

Giving ultimatums and leaving may be the best options for you. This is for you to decide. However, I don't know all of the circumstances here (how long have you been married, do you have children, do you want to stay marriaed, etc.). In the event that leaving is too big a first step for you, I suggest you attend an Al-Anon meeting in your local area. This support group can help you identify more options, but more importantly help you to help and protect yourself through this difficult time.

Even leaving him will not stop the hurt, so check into Al-Anon.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

yesterday said:


> I suggest you attend an Al-Anon meeting in your local area. This support group can help you identify more options, but more importantly help you to help and protect yourself through this difficult time.
> 
> Even leaving him will not stop the hurt, so check into Al-Anon.


:iagree:

Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen


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