# Husband prioritizes family/sister over wife. Am I overreacting?



## Ronnie0925

Hi. I don't know where to begin. My husband took care of her younger sister when they were little. Now that he's married, I feel that they keep interfering with our relationship. I am civil with them for my husband's sake. But I just don't know when to say enough is enough. He plans trips and bday parties for her. Aside from that we spent money for those occasions. We pay for everything and for her lived in bf. We have to stop everything we do for her no matter what it is. Should I dare say I am bringing in more than what he's making? I would say 4x more than him. He even once planned anything for me...for my bday or for special occasions. Initially I thought I should just let him be because he is not with his sister all year round but when we are all together. He pays all his attention to her, doesn't even ask me how I'm doing. He serves her food to the point that only thing that's lacking is he spoon feeds her. He never did that to me! He went over there on her bday, spend $1000+ for the whole trip (food, recreation,lodging etc) while I was breaking down. I told him he's neglecting me. He said he loves me but stay for the rest of his planned trip. Did I tell you that he is also a potty mouth. It was just recently that I felt respected and loved a little bit because we had lots of argument about this. So for thanksgiving. He planned for her to come over for 5 days. My mom is staying with us helping me take care of his stepson (he's my child from previous marriage). He wanted my mother to cook for his sister and bf three meals a day if we're not going out. He spoils her a lot. Did I mention that when she stays, she doesn't do a single thing. She's in front of her laptop playing all day. She can't even put away her plate that she used. Anyways, they weren't able to stay because he cat has fleas for fear that my dog and house can get fleas. She was begging him to stay over but I Said no. He spent all day with her and bf at Shedd Aquarium and spent 300 dollars alone for that day. Now we were gonna spend our thanksgiving with his other sister. He told my mom and I to cook for the feast which I did. We were out today buying the rest of the stuff when he told me that he wanted to stay over for the night and I can just go together with my mom and dog to go home after the party. I blew after that and told him to go marry his sister. I also told him that I feel that I am always on the backseat when it comes to his family. He said I just have to say no and didn't have to make a drama out of it and was really mad. So am I being selfish or jealous without a reason?


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## costa200

> Should I dare say I am bringing in more than what he's making? I would say 4x more than him.


Here we go...


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## Ronnie0925

I am not emphasizing that I am making more than him. All I'm saying is he should be considerate with how he spends the money because its not just him that worked hard for it.


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## Emerald

Set up your boundaries with his family. Separate your money if you don't like how he spends it. I don't think he will change so it up to you to take control of your life & if you can't reach mutual agreements then decide if you can live with the things you don't like.


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## costa200

Ronnie0925 said:


> I am not emphasizing that I am making more than him.


But you did, it may just have been a slip but it was a pretty revealing one.


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## Bobby5000

No doubt, she can be and obviously tells him how much more money she makes, implying that she should control the finances. That pushes his relationship with his sister closer, a somewhat strange one already. To boot, she makes confidents about his sister and the daughter creating more problems. I guess there are serious problem meriting counseling.


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