# First time



## Wownowwhat (Apr 17, 2014)

We have been married for 28 years and have been separated for 1 month. I'm trying to stay busy. Thank goodness for my job. He has moved out and is living in town in an apartment. I'm feeling so marooned and stranded. I am in this house (that I use to love but find so strangulating now). I feel so alone. When I look at my future, which use to have all sorts of plans: traveling, camping, hiking, visiting the kids. all I see now is gray. I know this is so new and raw, but it hurts and I'm finding it very hard to get over this "kick in the stomach" feeling. Have gone to 1 session of counseling and have 2 more free sessions before I must pay. Not sure that's going to work. My husband is a very good man and we did have fun. But he does not communicate. We cannot seem to talk about our relationionship and any physical contact stopped last year. I know he's depressed but refuses to take medication or seek counseling. Have discussed this with his Mom and she is so sad about our situation now. Any help on getting over this hump?


----------



## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

So sorry for what you are going through.

There are a lot of threads and posts for help with that in the Talk About Separation and Divorce section of this forum. They seem very supportive and I think you will get a lot of help there.


----------



## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Sorry for your situation. Sadly the only person you can "fix" is you. You need to take care of yourself, and figure out what you need to do to be happy again. I wish you all the best.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

First, you must exercise.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

turnera said:


> First, you must exercise.


THIS!!!!

2nd one, is TIME

In time, you WILL feel better. MUCH better. It may take 6 months to a year, but trust me when I tell you. In the end you will be SO much better off and will laugh at this entire ordeal you are going through right now.

During this time, stay as active as possible (exercise/sports....walks.....etc)

Keep your head up and be positive about your future. 

It's time to move on, you deserve MUCH better than what you are losing/hurting about.

Good luck


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

WNW, sorry to hear of your separation. I just wanted to say, like turnera and DoF, fresh air and exercise! I walked a lot, and when cooped up inside I ended up pacing back and forth which only caused anxiety - but as soon as I got outside I could go for miles. Coming back home physically exhausted then just crashing was actually invigorating, and was when my mind became most clear and capable. Endorphins are nice when going through stuff like this.


----------



## Wownowwhat (Apr 17, 2014)

Thanks to all who responded. As a matter of fact, I started a strengthening class today. Hopefully the snow has stopped (Colorado) and the trails should open up soon. I know everything you tell me is true and I do know someday I'll look back on this and think what the heck took so long to get over this. But I still can't get over the fact that it could be over. There were never any major fights, never infidelity, always respect. He just never talked. It breaks my heart. But I will keep trying. I do think I will be writing back in a few months to find ways to get over the end of this marriage. I hope not. Thanks again for all your support


----------



## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

turnera said:


> First, you must exercise.


This is exactly the advice I was going to give. Exercise your little tush off! You will feel SO good about yourself, and you will get a sexy, hot body to go along with how good you are feeling, which will make you feel even better!


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Tell us more about it.


----------

