# Considering a Divorce



## AtlantaMan (Apr 16, 2013)

I've been with my wife for the past 10 years, married for 4 of those 10. I feel as if things in our relationship have become very static, especially since our son (now 2.5) was born. Don't get me wrong, my son is my World. That's not the problem. We are. 

I'm honestly not sure if I'm still in love with my wife. I love her to death. She's my best friend. But, I don't look forward to seeing her. I don't always ask her about her day. When she leaves town for work I don't really miss her. Sure, I miss having "someone" around but not necessarily her. 

I've asked her if she's in love with me still and she said yes. She looks forward to all of the above mentioned things. I don't. I want that. I just don't really know if I've ever had that with her. I think I did when we first started to date but that's normal for any new relationship. 

I want to be with someone for 10+ years and always look forward to seeing them. Talking to them and legitimately wanting to know everything they did that day. Is that foolish? Is it some made up fantasy I have in my head? Or, should I just be content with my current life. 

My wife is a wonderful person who would do anything for me. Anything. She is an amazing Mother and, by all accounts, I "should" love her to death b/c she spoils me rotten and allows me to do pretty much anything I want. 

Even if I changed my ways and helped out more, which I'm all for btw, I don't think it would make me fall IN love with her. 

I'm just extremely confused right now. I'm going to a counselor but I dunno if it's really helping or not. Suppose I'm just looking for some feedback from people in my similar situation.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Does your wife know you feel this way?

What was it that changed after the birth of your son? Some people have a hard time seeing their wife as a sexual being after they give birth. What is your sex life now versus then?

Has your wife gained weight (and what about you) or changed her upkeep routines?

Not really enough to go on here. Its good you're in counseling but you the two you should consider MC as well


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Do you have a female friend that you discuss this with?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Marriages go through phases as so do we as individuals. From time to time we need to renew and refresh and re-energize our marriages. A baby, now a toddler, can occupy all the time and energy of parents and focus and time on the couple can feel lost. Can you and your wife get away, even for a week end for just the two of you? 
It is hard to tell from what you wrote but you could be suffering from depression. You didn't say how long you've been in counseling but it can take time to resolve things.


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## Goldfinch (Jan 22, 2013)

Maybe your love has changed. It can never be the way it was at the beginning, or the way it was before your son was born, but it can be good. Marriage and love do take work, and it is great that you are seeking help for yourself. My husband and I didn't have a great marriage, but there was nothing bad about, not enough that I would have divorced him because I didn't want to break up my family. If you are considering divorce you should really consider the repercussions to your son.


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