# He's rubbing things in my face and I am devastated!



## nursemama (May 27, 2012)

My husband and I are separated and I am 6 1/2 months pregnant. We had been trying to work things out when he decided he met someone he liked and was done trying with us. It has been a little over two weeks since he met this woman in person besides texting her for a week or two before meeting her in person. He is now saying he is in a committed relationship with her after 9 days. And after 16 days says he loves her. AND showed up with her at the gym I work out at. Luckily I was not there but had to hear about it from others. I feel horrible! I've talked to him about staying at his own gym and he replied that he can work out where he likes and I didnt own him. He went from telling me he loved me two weeks ago to now saying he doesnt like or respect me and is happy with his new stripper girlfriend. Sounds like Days of our Lives and I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone. What to do and how to feel?????


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## InTheBedIMade (May 20, 2012)

It sounds as though he has gone off of the deep end. You are still pregnant and need to take care of the baby. Do you have family that can help out with your current situation? I would hate like hell to be in my third trimester in this heat, let alone dealing with a man child who has left a pregnant woman and hopes to start a new life with a stripper

If she's helping him with this mind game the. That says a lot about her character and I, for one, hope he gets stuck with her for a long time. 

I never saw anything more beautiful in this world than a woman carrying a child. 

Take a breath, think about how this could resolve, and determine what you're going to accept from him. If he walked back in your door right now would you take him back? 

Take care of the baby. There are multitudes of agencies that are willing and able to help you out, spend some time looking into it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nursemama (May 27, 2012)

I've decided he has to have some sort of mental issue. He's become cold and callous, and very cruel. I initiated separation so it's all my fault he says. I do have family and friends and only thing I know to do now is remove myself from him as much as possible. I cant handle the stress! He chose this in the end and not only is it like a stab to the heart but now he's twisting the knife to make it hurt more. For God's sake I am the woman he married and created a child with and now i'm being treated like dirt. I dont get it.


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## momtoboys (Apr 22, 2012)

I know how you feel hun! I've been married for 5 years. My soon to be exhusband kicked me out while 8 months pregnant and was on dating website. He missed the birth of our son and came up to meet him soon after I had him. We reconciled after my son was born. We have been long distance since he kicked me out. Well march 12th he ended things. He has been hot and cold. Trying to sext,sending me nudes etc. We'll last week I found out he has an 18 year old girlfriend and has been with her since march 18th. Ever since I found out about the girlfriend he's been horrible to me

I wouldn't contact him anymore unless you need to. Distance yourself from him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Stop dealing with him. If he wants to carry on w/ his girlfriend, end it with him completely.

As far as "how to feel?" You should feel livid at the way he is treating you but also relieved to be rid of such a loser.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

nursemama said:


> I've decided he has to have some sort of mental issue. He's become cold and callous, and very cruel. I initiated separation so it's all my fault he says. I do have family and friends and only thing I know to do now is remove myself from him as much as possible. I cant handle the stress! He chose this in the end and not only is it like a stab to the heart but now he's twisting the knife to make it hurt more. For God's sake I am the woman he married and created a child with and now i'm being treated like dirt. I dont get it.


Sadly, I do "get it". He is a narcissist. It's all about him. He is being selfish and his only concern is for himself. I too am living this coldness and cruelty.

In my situation, he cheated on me. Then he refused to leave the marital home, so I played hard ball and left. He said he didn't want me to leave and wanted to remain married, however, after I left, it suddenly becomes "my fault" and he, as the self-proclaimed "injured party" feels justified in playing those cold and heartless mind games.

You might want to familiarize yourself with the traits of a narcissist. Once you learn exactly where he is coming from, the personal hurt that you are feeling will change in that you come to understand that, in HIS eyes, "It's not about you". I know it hurts. I do feel for you and your pain. You don't deserve to be treated so coldly. I sincerely wish you well and hope that you find comfort in your circle of family and friends.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

This is not someone whose issues you even need to understand. This is a crappy person.

Take care of you, take care of your baby, and let him go. You are stronger than he can possibly imagine!


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Nurse,
It's called a rebound relationship. He is trying to fill the void of you and him. It won't work as they are just using each other emotionally. Sounds like your STBXH has self-esteem issues and is trying to "borrow" her self-esteem. This just brings both people down and will end the relationship soon. Recommend moving on and working on you. ILY in 16 days? Really? Is this high school or what?


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## nursemama (May 27, 2012)

I do feel livid, angry, sad, mad, depressed, and feel like he has no conscience! Survivor-funny you mentioned narcissist because I've been looking into that and its scary how much that fits him. Most selfish man and now very cold and cruel to me. Everything is justified. He had to lie to me about women etc.... cause I was pregnant and too sensitive and couldnt handle it. I initiated separation cause of other problems so I asked for all this and what did I expect?! I never gave up, quit trying, filed for divorce, and kept in constant contact trying to make things better. HE chose this but says I am crazy for thinking this was his fault. He even said he doesnt like or respect me now for what I've done in ruining this marriage and taking away his time with pregnancy. How screwed up is that?? I dont see how this new relationship will last and idk what kind of single woman would want to get involved with a man still married and a baby on the way. He's co-dependent and cant be alone I've learned that and has no feelings towards what this is doing to me nor does he care.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

nursemama said:


> I do feel livid, angry, sad, mad, depressed, and feel like he has no conscience! Survivor-funny you mentioned narcissist because I've been looking into that and its scary how much that fits him. Most selfish man and now very cold and cruel to me. Everything is justified. He had to lie to me about women etc.... cause I was pregnant and too sensitive and couldnt handle it. I initiated separation cause of other problems so I asked for all this and what did I expect?! I never gave up, quit trying, filed for divorce, and kept in constant contact trying to make things better. HE chose this but says I am crazy for thinking this was his fault. He even said he doesnt like or respect me now for what I've done in ruining this marriage and taking away his time with pregnancy. How screwed up is that?? I dont see how this new relationship will last and idk what kind of single woman would want to get involved with a man still married and a baby on the way. He's co-dependent and cant be alone I've learned that and has no feelings towards what this is doing to me nor does he care.


 He’s rewriting history. If it was me… I’d write him a letter making the point very clear as to why it is not your fault. I’d list the serious things he did to lead to your leaving. And then I’d mail/email it to him. And every time he tried to make it my fault, I’d hand him a copy of the letter.

As for this new OW, the stripper… She is low life. That’s that kind of woman who gets hooked up to a married man with a pregnant wife. The karma train is headed their way and they cannot even see it’s headlight.


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