# I lost the love.



## NoNameGiven (May 9, 2010)

My husband and I were great together. We loved going out and we had so much in common. But then the day before our wedding he lied to me. It was a stupid lie for a forgivable action but he lied and I didn't find out the truth until 10 days after our wedding. I felt like I had married a liar and it was no longer the two of us against the world. It was him and his friend that covered for him against me.

After couples counseling and his own personal counseling I felt a little better but then three years later and right after I had our first child he lied to me again and I found out and confronted him. He continued to lie until he couldn't dig his way out.

Since these episodes I have not been able to love him. He says I have not tried but I feel like I have tried too much. We go out and do things with friends and I have a great time. However, the last time we went out just the two of us, I felt awkward. I had nothing to say to him. 

I am feeling more and more depressed. I hate not loving my husband. I wish I could forgive and forget and be in love and enjoy spending time with him but I am stuck in this rut. I don't even feel like planning dates anymore they seem hopeless. Does anyone have any ideas on how to fall in love again? We go out and I still am not in love. Are we done?


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## chuckles (May 2, 2010)

Turn to the Savior in prayer. Include the Lord in your marriage and if you work hard at it, you will succeed.


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## NoNameGiven (May 9, 2010)

I think I need a little more human advice than prayer.


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## Bigsigh (Oct 26, 2009)

Have you asked him to be honest? And if so (that being he really IS being honest)....have you placed yourself in his shoes to what he was protecting you from?? Perspective??


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## NoNameGiven (May 9, 2010)

The therapist he is seeing has helped him realize that if he does something I don't like I will be mad but if he lies about it I will be mad and also no longer trust him. I think he has gotten a handle on his lying. I hope... but the big problem is me. 

I can't say that I am in love with him. Yesterday, we had this big blow out about not putting the dishes in the dishwasher, which was not the actual problem, I still do not know what the actual problem was but I could not stand to be around him after the fight. I ran out of the house. I still do not want to be around him.


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## Bigsigh (Oct 26, 2009)

I read an article about the "fear of intimacy" is the biggest problem in most marriages. This is NOTHING to do with being in the bedroom.....it's more about just being able to talk about how you feel without turning it into an arguement. It's just about having a converation....as if it were *good* feelings, rather than attack each other.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Are you still in couples counseling? You should be.


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