# I want to destroy Him!!!



## vpwhite2770

I so want to Destroy my husband, I did some snooping on his computer and found out he's been on several online dating sites chatting with lots of women. Of course he's lying his *** off to all of them just like he's lied to me from the very start!!!

He has no idea I know what he's been up to and I plan to keep it that way while I get as much **** on him as I can because I want to Ruin the rest of his worthless life and I will.

I've been thinking of contacting some of the women he's been seeing / chatting with but I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I have screen captures of his chat's with several women, him giving his cell phone number and email addresses to them, setting up dates with them. 

So, I'm looking for any idea's that might help me Destroy his life. I have an appointment with a divorce lawyer in a couple of weeks. I can't follow him around because of my job and can't afford a PI.

thanks, vp


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## C3156

Good luck with that. All that emotion will lead to a life of bitterness.

Far better to move on and flourish than get stuck in the rut of revenge.


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## ThreeStrikes

Sounds like you got all the evidence you need.

Unfortunately, most states are no-fault, so even if there is adultery it won't mean much from a legal perspective.

But, that doesn't mean you can't humiliate him and ruin his character and reputation.

My recommendation would be to do nothing until after you file divorce. Play possum, then have him served while he is at work. Spring it on him in a public place.

Then expose his sh!tty behavior far and wide. Family, friends, etc.

There is also a website called cheaterville where you can post his cheating a$$. Then, if someone googles him, he'll show up there.

BTW, I have no problem with revenge. 

Just be careful if you have kids together.


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## vpwhite2770

C3156 said:


> Good luck with that. All that emotion will lead to a life of bitterness.
> 
> Far better to move on and flourish than get stuck in the rut of revenge.


I appreciate your response but I'm not the kind of person that allows someone to Stab me in back, especially someone that I've bent over backwards to love and support.

He will get what's coming to him, he's going to wish he was dead when I'm finished making every second of his sorry life a living ****!!!

He's also been hiding money and purchased a $435,000.00 home for some of his family members without ever saying one word to me!!


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## ThreeStrikes

vpwhite2770 said:


> I appreciate your response but I'm not the kind of person that allows someone to Stab me in back, especially someone that I've bent over backwards to love and support.
> 
> He will get what's coming to him, he's going to wish he was dead when I'm finished making every second of his sorry life a living ****!!!
> 
> He's also been hiding money and purchased a $435,000.00 home for some of his family members without ever saying one word to me!!


On a site filled with human doormats, it's refreshing to see someone with a back-bone.

:smthumbup:

Don't give him any indication that you are onto him until you talk to the lawyer.


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## mablenc

Well he's not only hurt you by cheating but financially as well. I would see an lawyer and see what my options are. Then yeah I would go do something for the benefit of me. But not hurt any third parties including my children if they find out. So proceed with caution.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## vpwhite2770

Thank you ThreeStrikes, I'll check out cheaterville, never heard of it till now.

Thanks again, vp.


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## vpwhite2770

mablenc said:


> Well he's not only hurt you by cheating but financially as well. I would see an lawyer and see what my options are. Then yeah I would go do something for the benefit of me. But not hurt any third parties including my children if they find out. So proceed with caution.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


thanks mablenc, I do have an appointment set up with a divorce lawyer and no we don't have any children, Thank God!!! 

You know I do blame myself for not letting myself believe something was wrong, I would always make excuses for him when things didn't seem right. Now I feel like the biggest Fool ever and I was a Fool for ever believing his Lies!!!

thanks again, vp.


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## mablenc

vpwhite2770 said:


> thanks mablenc, I do have an appointment set up with a divorce lawyer and no we don't have any children, Thank God!!!
> 
> You know I do blame myself for not letting myself believe something was wrong, I would always make excuses for him when things didn't seem right. Now I feel like the biggest Fool ever and I was a Fool for ever believing his Lies!!!
> 
> thanks again, vp.


Think positive you won't be fooled again! And you can share your wisdom with others who are blinded. It happens to all of us, don't beat Yourself for believing in love, it's out there and now you can spot the fakes easier.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## vpwhite2770

Here's one of his pathetic messages to one of unfortunate women to talk to him,

"I am looking for a woman who has no kids as it is less complicated, you are very pretty, I have good job as a doctor, car, my own place, and money in the bank but no honey, I would like to get to know you, I am an educated professional man, what you say?? let me know Mike"

How would any woman like seeing that **** being posted on a dating website by her husband!!!! And yes there's a lot more and worst than that.


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## mablenc

vpwhite2770 said:


> Here's one of his pathetic messages to one of unfortunate women to talk to him,
> 
> "I am looking for a woman who has no kids as it is less complicated, you are very pretty, I have good job as a doctor, car, my own place, and money in the bank but no honey, I would like to get to know you, I am an educated professional man, what you say?? let me know Mike"
> 
> How would any woman like seeing that **** being posted on a dating website by her husband!!!! And yes there's a lot more and worst than that.


You can always make him a profile in a gay website. Please don't ask me for ideas, I'm full of evil ones...


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## Joannam

vpwhite2770 said:


> I so want to Destroy my husband, I did some snooping on his computer and found out he's been on several online dating sites chatting with lots of women. Of course he's lying his *** off to all of them just like he's lied to me from the very start!!!
> 
> He has no idea I know what he's been up to and I plan to keep it that way while I get as much **** on him as I can because I want to Ruin the rest of his worthless life and I will.
> 
> I've been thinking of contacting some of the women he's been seeing / chatting with but I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I have screen captures of his chat's with several women, him giving his cell phone number and email addresses to them, setting up dates with them. Yes when you are hurt like that you want to destroy the person that is responsible for our hurt and feeling used and foolish. I have been their myself but in the end I felt that it will be of no benefit to me. What was a benefit to me was that I left him and showed him that I am far more developed as a human being then he would ever be. In my experience that to go to their level is a lot self destructive. Just in my humble opinion. We all have to do what we feel right doing and living with the result of our own actions.
> 
> .


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## vpwhite2770

mablenc said:


> You can always make him a profile in a gay website. Please don't ask me for ideas, I'm full of evil ones...


Oh please do, and thanks again for your support!!

I know I'm doing a lot of venting here but it sure does feel good!!!

vp.


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## doubletrouble

Ohhhhh now you're giving ME ideas... Dang.


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## vpwhite2770

thanks Joannam, if it wasn't for the total betrayal he's done to me I might not be so Angry. And Yes I will show him what his lies and screwing around have gotten him. He thinks he's so smart and he has the *** **** nerve to call me childish for enjoying a tv show , The Walking Dead. He's never hit me but he's become mentally abusive and he's also a ******* slob around the house


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## mablenc

Maybe tell him you got a letter from the court saying someone made a case for child support naming him as the father. Watch him run home. tee hee

or have one of his female friends contact him because she has gonorrhea and herpes and wanted to let him know. 

I will stop there before I get into trouble.


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## nogutsnoglory

doubletrouble said:


> Ohhhhh now you're giving ME ideas... Dang.


Play it cool. He thought he could cake eat his way through life. Now he will have to give you half of everything and sell the home for his family he bought. The cooler you play it the better for you. You can ruin his reputation when you are using his money and he is gone. 

Just a suggestion. Good luck!


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## vpwhite2770

mablenc said:


> Maybe tell him you got a letter from the court saying someone made a case for child support naming him as the father. Watch him run home. tee hee
> 
> or have one of his female friends contact him because she has gonorrhea and herpes and wanted to let him know.
> 
> I will stop there before I get into trouble.


Keep the ideas coming mablenc, thank god we have a fully furnished basement with a bedroom, kitchen and bathroom so I won't have to crawl into bed with him ever again!! **** I'm scared to death he would give me an std, some of those women he's been chatting with , enough said!!!


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## vpwhite2770

nogutsnoglory said:


> Play it cool. He thought he could cake eat his way through life. Now he will have to give you half of everything and sell the home for his family he bought. The cooler you play it the better for you. You can ruin his reputation when you are using his money and he is gone.
> 
> Just a suggestion. Good luck!


Thanks nogutsnoglory, I plan on being as cool as a cucumber and as cold as ice to his sorry ***!! I never would have spied on him if I hadn't of seen several warning signs and finally decided to do something about it.

His lies finally caught up with him and now he's going to pay but I will bide my time collecting as much dirt on him as I can, then I'll Bust his ******* *** for good!!!


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## vpwhite2770

Here's another one of his priceless gems he posted to some woman,

"Hey Teacher, you want to get Freaky?? Mike."

that is so ******* sickening, I Hate this ******* so ******** much!!!!!


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## nogutsnoglory

vpwhite2770 said:


> Thanks nogutsnoglory, I plan on being as cool as a cucumber and as cold as ice to his sorry ***!! I never would have spied on him if I hadn't of seen several warning signs and finally decided to do something about it.
> 
> His lies finally caught up with him and now he's going to pay but I will bide my time collecting as much dirt on him as I can, then I'll Bust his ******* *** for good!!!


just don't get yourself into any trouble with the law. He is not worth it..


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## mablenc

vpwhite2770 said:


> Here's another one of his priceless gems he posted to some woman,
> 
> "Hey Teacher, you want to get Freaky?? Mike."
> 
> that is so ******* sickening, I Hate this ******* so ******** much!!!!!


Calm down, He's a butt*, but don't let him get your blood pressure up, Stop reading his crap. It will only hurt you more at this point. It's useless you already know he's scum. Step away from his posts. Go meet a friend for dinner or watch a moving. You need to chill for a bit. You have all the right not be mad, but you also have to draw a line, for you. Not for him, for you. Ok?


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## vpwhite2770

nogutsnoglory said:


> just don't get yourself into any trouble with the law. He is not worth it..


Thanks for your insight, your right he's not worth that, he's Worthless!! I actually worry more about how my brothers are going to react when they find out what he's been up to, they are very protective of me.


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## C3156

vpwhite2770 said:


> I appreciate your response but I'm not the kind of person that allows someone to Stab me in back, especially someone that I've bent over backwards to love and support.
> 
> He will get what's coming to him, he's going to wish he was dead when I'm finished making every second of his sorry life a living ****!!!
> 
> He's also been hiding money and purchased a $435,000.00 home for some of his family members without ever saying one word to me!!


Hey, whatever floats your boat. I have just known several people with the same idea end up bitter because their grand plans of "ruining" their spouse did not work the way they expected. Let's be honest, unless you are a celebrity, no one really cares about infidelity anymore. Sure you can expose him, but I bet that he is a smooth enough talker that it will blow over quickly. Or he just moves to a new area that does not know him.

Far better to use your energy to find an excellent lawyer and use your evidence to screw him financially. Hit him where it really hurts for as long as you can. Then you can laugh all the way to the bank.


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## vpwhite2770

C3156 said:


> Hey, whatever floats your boat. I have just known several people with the same idea end up bitter because their grand plans of "ruining" their spouse did not work the way they expected. Let's be honest, unless you are a celebrity, no one really cares about infidelity anymore. Sure you can expose him, but I bet that he is a smooth enough talker that it will blow over quickly. Or he just moves to a new area that does not know him.
> 
> Far better to use your energy to find an excellent lawyer and use your evidence to screw him financially. Hit him where it really hurts for as long as you can. Then you can laugh all the way to the bank.


Oh, I do intend to screw him financially, and I also intend to ruin his precious reputation as a Doctor. Yes he's a great Liar but when you've got the proof there's really no way to weasel your way out of it and I've got the Proof and working on getting more. By the way, I care about Infidelity but I really don't give a **** about celebrities!!!


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## PBear

vpwhite2770 said:


> Oh, I do intend to screw him financially, and I also intend to ruin his precious reputation as a Doctor. Yes he's a great Liar but when you've got the proof there's really no way to weasel your way out of it and I've got the Proof and working on getting more. By the way, I care about Infidelity but I really don't give a **** about celebrities!!!


When you talk to your lawyer, make sure you get advice on any of your "destroy him" ideas. Make sure what you do won't cause yourself any large grief either. Like destroying his income may affect your spousal support. Not saying that you shouldn't do anything, but know what the costs are.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## vpwhite2770

PBear said:


> When you talk to your lawyer, make sure you get advice on any of your "destroy him" ideas. Make sure what you do won't cause yourself any large grief either. Like destroying his income may affect your spousal support. Not saying that you shouldn't do anything, but know what the costs are.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


thanks PBear, I do understand that I have to be careful about all of this and I will make sure to protect myself above all else. I'm pretty Pissed Off right now and I see what your saying, getting him fired from his job wouldn't be beneficial for me but I will destroy his relationship with all of our friends and family, actually he already did that!!!

thanks, vp.


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## torn2012

Get into his email accounts and send screen shots of his least flattering dating site comments to all his contacts. If you're not worried about whether or not he keeps his job then get the email list for the board of directors at his place of work.


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## wcd6891

vpwhite2770 said:


> thanks mablenc, I do have an appointment set up with a divorce lawyer and no we don't have any children, Thank God!!!
> 
> You know I do blame myself for not letting myself believe something was wrong, I would always make excuses for him when things didn't seem right. Now I feel like the biggest Fool ever and I was a Fool for ever believing his Lies!!!
> 
> thanks again, vp.




Don't beat yourself up...take him for everything he got and that house with his family in it. Keep your cool and then present all your evidence to the judge then we will see who else he will tell about his awesome single life. He want have a pot to pee in.


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## EleGirl

vpwhite2770 said:


> I've been thinking of contacting some of the women he's been seeing / chatting with but I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I have screen captures of his chat's with several women, him giving his cell phone number and email addresses to them, setting up dates with them.


I’ve been through this very thing. 

What I did was to get copies of all his communicates that I could find to all of the women. 

Then I contact each of the women and talked to them and told them that he was married with children, not single as he said he was. It told them of the other lies he was feeding them. They all promised to end contact with him. Most were shocked and very nice to me. They gave me tons on info that helped me get more info in my snooping.

Then I told him that I knew what was going on. 

Some of the women kept trying to contact him to continue their relationship. I guess they did not believe it when I told them that they were not the only one.

So I zipped up the files of all the communications between them all and sent this with the name and contact info for each woman with dates of the relationships. 

After that none of them tried to contact him again.

In your case I’d also give the files to his family so that they know what he’s been up to. AT least that way they cannot hide.

Check your state laws about gathering this data through. Make sure you cover your tracks legally.


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## Keepin-my-head-up

Sleep with his brother. Boom! No recovering from that
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl

Also, find out if any of the women are married.

Then contact their husbands and give them the information as well.


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## EleGirl

vpwhite2770 said:


> He's also been hiding money and purchased a $435,000.00 home for some of his family members without ever saying one word to me!!


This is also similar to what happened to me…. My ex was in medical school through much of our marriage. I supported him and put him through medical school. I stupidly used to put my income into a joint account for him to take care of paying the bills. What I found out is that he was paying his mother and father’s house payments as well. He was also stashing $$ in a joint savings account with his mother.

For a couple of months before filing for divorce I searched through his papers and found cancelled checks, the deed to his mom’s house with him as partial owner, the info on the account he had with him mom. I made copies of everything. 

He tried to argue in the divorce that he should get the house and I should get all the bills. But I had all those receipts, cancelled checks, etc. So I offered that I get the house, we split the debt and then I would be nice and not go after his mother’s house. This was a discussion in court. After a lot of foul language out of him… I got the house and he took his fair share of the debt. His poisonous mother got to keep her house…


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## EleGirl

Keepin-my-head-up said:


> Sleep with his brother. Boom! No recovering from that
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


But that makes her dirty.


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## LongWalk

Elegirl, your ex sounded devious and/or too close to his mother. Did he go and live with her?

Not unusual for some doctors to have inflated egos. Over time negative experiences can correct their perception.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## vpwhite2770

EleGirl, thank you for sharing , your ex and my soon to be Ex sound just alike. I have started going through our financial papers, making copies of everything. No telling what else I'll find out, he has a iphone and a ipad I have to get my hands on.

thanks, vp.


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## EleGirl

vpwhite2770 said:


> EleGirl, thank you for sharing , your ex and my soon to be Ex sound just alike. I have started going through our financial papers, making copies of everything. No telling what else I'll find out, he has a iphone and a ipad I have to get my hands on.
> 
> thanks, vp.


I also made copies of very key of his I could find. 

Some of the keys I never identified. But I was able to search is car several times. I highly suggest this. Make sure you search in places like the where the spare tire and tools are kept. Good place to hide condoms and other assorted things he did not want his wife to find.


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## EleGirl

LongWalk said:


> Elegirl, your ex sounded devious and/or too close to his mother. Did he go and live with her?
> 
> Not unusual for some doctors to have inflated egos. Over time negative experiences can correct their perception.


He got his own place. But she cooked for him every day.. he'd stop by her house to pick up his meals. She also cleaned his house. She passed away a couple of years ago but until then he depended on her for a lot.


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## vpwhite2770

EleGirl said:


> I also made copies of very key of his I could find.
> 
> Some of the keys I never identified. But I was able to search is car several times. I highly suggest this. Make sure you search in places like the where the spare tire and tools are kept. Good place to hide condoms and other assorted things he did not want his wife to find.


Good idea, I wouldn't have thought of that, he loves his cars and I already have the spare key fob's, just have to make sure put them in a safe place so he can't take them.

:smthumbup:


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## VeryHurt

vpwhite2770 said:


> Thanks for your insight, your right he's not worth that, he's Worthless!! I actually worry more about how my brothers are going to react when they find out what he's been up to, they are very protective of me.


Understand the "Loyalty of Brothers" ........my brothers came inches away from giving my cheating husband a new a$$hole.


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## synthetic

This is such an unhealthy thread. I can't believe most of you are advocating this vengeful behavior when all it will do is add salt to her injury.

Feeling angry and vengeful is completely natural, but to carry out on those feelings is always (not sometimes, but always) detrimental to healing.

Contact a lawyer and divorce him as soon as you can. Forgive him, and then forgive yourself for marrying him. Live a healthy life. Stop feeling so proud of your anger. You will hurt yourself more than he has hurt you.


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## Kaboom

why is everyone so supportive when women want to utterly destroy men, but when a man is on this side of the fence, he's supposed to just pull himself up and treat it as water under the bridge?

Just saying... Why not just see the lawyer and divorce him? The blood-sucking lawyers will do far more damage to him than you could ever do. Move on.


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## lifeistooshort

Kaboom said:


> why is everyone so supportive when women want to utterly destroy men, but when a man is on this side of the fence, he's supposed to just pull himself up and treat it as water under the bridge?
> 
> Just saying... Why not just see the lawyer and divorce him? The blood-sucking lawyers will do far more damage to him than you could ever do. Move on.



Don't know where you get this, particularly on this male dominated site. Everytime a wife is cheating the hb is advised to call the OM's wife, out her to everyone, destroy her career (if she works with ap), cut off her money (so she can see what life wo him is really like), DNA test the kids, kick her out and go for full custody, put var's everywhere and then use it as court evidence, go after her for spousal support (if she's been the breadwinner) and post her on Cheaterville. Even if he openly admits to being a pr$ck and cheating her like cr&p. Did I miss anything? Anything and everything with the hopes she'll crash and burn and come crawling back at which point he can tell her to f$ck off. Doesn't sound like"just pull yourself up" to me. Seems to me that people just like to see cheaters get their just desserts, regardless of gender.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl

Kaboom said:


> why is everyone so supportive when women want to utterly destroy men, but when a man is on this side of the fence, he's supposed to just pull himself up and treat it as water under the bridge?
> 
> Just saying... Why not just see the lawyer and divorce him? The blood-sucking lawyers will do far more damage to him than you could ever do. Move on.


No one is suggesting that she destroy him. There is the one post suggesting that she sleep with his brother.. but I don't think anyone takes that post seriously.

Instead what I see are posts steering her away from vengeance to protecting herself. Information gathering is to help with the divorce... to protect her. It's not about destroying him.


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## brokenbythis

vpwhite2770 said:


> Here's one of his pathetic messages to one of unfortunate women to talk to him,
> 
> "I am looking for a woman who has no kids as it is less complicated, you are very pretty, I have good job as a doctor, car, my own place, and money in the bank but no honey, I would like to get to know you, I am an educated professional man, what you say?? let me know Mike"
> 
> How would any woman like seeing that **** being posted on a dating website by her husband!!!! And yes there's a lot more and worst than that.


What a POS he is. I know exactly how you feel sister - I saw the same sort of stuff on my exH's facebook (he had blocked me) and a girlfriend and I made up a fake ID and logged onto dating websites and there he was too.

Its heartbreaking and I don't blame you for being so angry. I still am!


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## mablenc

EleGirl said:


> No one is suggesting that she destroy him. There is the one post suggesting that she sleep with his brother.. but I don't think anyone takes that post seriously.
> 
> Instead what I see are posts steering her away from vengeance to protecting herself. Information gathering is to help with the divorce... to protect her. It's not about destroying him.


Exactly we were trying to humor her as well, she was in a lot of pain. If anything she was advised against it as it would only hurt her more.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stella Moon

I digress. 
I can speak for me. My husband did not cheat however did other things. 
Having said that....vengeance has been a sweet part of my therapy and recovery of seeing that ratbastard get a taste of his own medicine. 

Touché' I say.


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## Garry2012

synthetic said:


> This is such an unhealthy thread. I can't believe most of you are advocating this vengeful behavior when all it will do is add salt to her injury.
> 
> Feeling angry and vengeful is completely natural, but to carry out on those feelings is always (not sometimes, but always) detrimental to healing.
> 
> Contact a lawyer and divorce him as soon as you can. Forgive him, and then forgive yourself for marrying him. Live a healthy life. Stop feeling so proud of your anger. You will hurt yourself more than he has hurt you.


As someone who is still very angry at my ex, i have to agree. My anger does me FAR more damage than it does her. I still lose sleep etc, and it was final 5 weeks ago after about 6 months of the divorce process. She was a product of a classic MLC, got a bf and i got the ILYBNILWY speech. 

I would say to document all his activities so when he denies it all, you have solid proof. So when he denies it you have good evidence. But, work on you and just get rid of him. Forgiving i suppose takes alot more time..im not even close, but I guess i want to at some point before i die.


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