# I want to run away



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I am under so much pressure: near to suing my employer, hate my job, in the process of buying a house, I HATE moving, my h and I just had a huge knock down drag out fight two nights ago and I found out that the reason he doesn't like to go down on me is because I stink. But he is willing to work on it. We are both in IC. His kids are in trouble and he's trying to get them in IC. A month ago my daughter spent two days in the hospital for asthma. Now she's starting to cough again. 
I have spent the last month and a half every damn weekend looking at houses, talking about houses, putting offers on housed to have them shot down. I need a fcking break from life. Instead this weekend my in-laws are staying with us and we're having a party for my stepson's birthday. 
I don't know what to do. Right now I feel like faking the flu and spending the weekend in bed but I can't do that. Im so drained the thought of spending a weekend with people here and having to entertain makes me want to scream. 
I'm not normally this way. It has taken a lot for me to get to this. 
Other than saying screw everyone and running off to motel 6 for the night what can I do to get a little bit of sanity? I don't even want to be around my h right now after what I found out. I just want to be alone and think about everything and have some quiet. I feel like I'm at my breaking point. Like when do I get to do something for me?
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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Oh and ever since he told me that my usual horniness towards him has completely reversed and I don't know how I'm
going to have sex with him again.
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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

perhaps you should runaway i mean after all what is their to lose?


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## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

Diwali....sometimes we ALL need a break from 'life'. Don't run away per se, but certainly get away for a weekend on your own. Do YOU stuff...go and re-charge your batteries somewhere.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Hmmm....
So women don't even tell OTHER WOMEN that they will fall out of love with their husbands eventually. Interesting. I thought they only kept the secret from us.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Oh I think love goes in phases, it comes and goes. I just feel like I need to have time to myself or we need time to ourselves and we can't have it. 
I'm just mad and hurt. I still love him.
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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

wow, hubby was "amazing in every other way" less than a week ago

obviously this sh!tstorm of stresses is affecting your outlook

take a breath


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Yep. I know. How do I make myself calm down? I feel like I'm waiting for impending doom because of my previous marriage. I hate that.
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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

face the day

take things as they come

life is ups and downs


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I need to stop being such a b and projecting. Sorry everyone for the negativity.
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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

being sexually frustrated will do that

no worries, vent here all you like


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## notperfectanymore (Mar 1, 2012)

I am sorry you are going thru this....I was there, about this time last year......is there a girlfriend or anyone else that you can call and "let it all out" on? When hubs emotionally "left me hangin" my GF's were life savers.....please take care of yourself...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Take a mini break away from everthing and everyone.

Tell them you are going to the store and go to a movie instead by yourself.

Or take a long bath, have a glass of wine. Soak and enjoy for as long as you wish. (Pluss then you won't stink any more.)

They will survive without you for a while.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Thats a hell of a lot on your plate.

no wonder your stressing. I don't even know how you would accomplish half of that stuff. Could you possibly cancel the birthday inlaw thing? as family they should be understanding if you just said I'm overwhelmed and don't think I can do it this weekend.

maybe rent a local firehall to have the party at and just have pizza and cake/ice cream. that way you don't have to worry about cleaning the house. and the inlaws can go to a hotel because you are in the middle of trying to sell your hause and buy a new one. Or better yet ask them if they can throw the party sounds like your the work horse can't someone else take a turn for a change while your busy with other life situations.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Well h told me his son has strep so I'm thinking "yay" it's over. My MIL has an immune disease and I thought maybe they weren't coming, that the s would stay at his mom's. But no, oh no. They're still coming. WTF? Then my d has asthma and was in the hospital last month. Well I tell h I'm going to take her to a hotel and he acts like I'm crazy. I told him he's not the one who has to take time off work or take care of her when she's sick. 
So my mom is taking her overnight. He should be out of contagious range by tomorrow afternoon. My mom is bringing her back for the party. 
I'm kind of pissed off that he didn't even consider my daughter's health or mine. And why drag the kid across town s d have his parents come down so we can
do nothing?
I cleaned some last night and that's all I'm
doing. I'm taking my d to meet my mom, having dinner with them and then I don't know what. Not going home.
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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

The kid is 13, he doesn't even want a party, it's just family. My h is going to make the cake. He can figure it out. I'm
done, stick a fork in me.
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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Ok yay the ILs aren't coming and my D is at my mom's house. I went to have dinner with my parents and now im
sitting in Starbucks having a mocha. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

If you are that stressed you need to re-prioritize and assess what is really important. Your marriage is important and your family's health must be addressed.

Maybe you can scale back on selling the house right now? If not, you can rent a place and at least take the stress of buying a home right away off the table.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

We are renting right now. Our landlord is a nightmare. We put a contract on a house and it's just hard not knowing if everything will go through but we have to
assume that it will.
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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> Oh and ever since he told me that my usual horniness towards him has completely reversed and I don't know how I'm
> going to have sex with him again.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If my husband told me I stink, I would never let him touch me again. Not to punish him necessarily, but because I would be so self conscious and embarrassed that I would close down the clam for repairs.

Do you think you smell down there? Has he always felt that way. You could have an infection or just a very high Ph level. He also may not like going down on you and it is just an excuse.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

He didn't say it in that way. Just that there was an odor. I am convinced that the odor is his semen. There is another thread on here about a woman who feels like smells for days after. He just never smells what he smells like. It's very very strong. I have never had that issue with anyone but there have only been two other people I didn't use a condom with. 
So I guess it's a matter of him being in denial about how he smells. I don't know but I'm going to bring it up in counseling first thing. And yeah I'm really so not in the mood for him and I don't know when I will be.
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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I should add that I've told him before I could smell his semen the next day and it freaked him out so bad he wouldn't come inside me for months. So maybe this is retribution? Like he can't admit that it is really pungent so he makes it about me? I wasn't even trying to be mean, I thought he might think it was sexy because it reminded me of what we did.
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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

You are right, this might be retribution, but what a bad move on his part. If he ever wants to be intimate again, he better do something quick before you run and never look back.

There are just some things you never say to a woman. And yes, I used to smell bad AFTER me and H had sex and it was his semen. I douched and the smell was gone. It sounds like you are in a tornado, spinning and spinning not knowing which way to turn.

You really do need that break. It's not selfish to take care of one's sanity. In the end, everyone wins.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Well the other night he initiated and I wasn't sure I wanted to which seemed to turn him on more. We had great sex and he went down. It was great. 
My daughter is going to be with my mom for two days, I'm going to look for ways to take care of me!
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