# Husband agreed to donor sperm then changes mind after I am pregnant



## manny1 (Nov 9, 2010)

This is something that ruined our marriage but I waited 15 years to get him out of my life. I really would like comments on this from both males and females. Dealt with infertility 6 years and knew very early that my husband was very infertile and not given much hope that he could father a child got like 6 opinions(his idea) . All of them did recommend using donor sperm since I did not have any infertility problems. He was against it and after about 5 years I asked him what exactly his problem with it was since he was ok with adoption. I didn't see what the difference was. We by the way were doing foster parenting and had started the adoption process. Lame reasons as I saw later getting other people involved was his reason: forgot to mention that I had been supporting him while he sort of went to school for like 10 years. Anyway finally he says he is ok with it and I get pregnant after about 4 or 5 tries which means he had plenty of time to back out. 3 months into my pregancy with twins and 1 month after my mom died and 2 months after bleeding and thinking I was going to miscarry he tells me "I don't think I will ever be able to accept this babies as my own because of what you did" which was get pregnant I guess. I told him go or stay it was up to him . He spent the rest of my pregnancy isolated from me though he didn't leave. He also said he didn't want his name on the birth certificates and wanted everyone to know they weren't his. Neither one of those two things happened in the end. I stayed with him for 15 years bcuz didn't want my kids to suffer from the decision made.
I know I stopped loving him then and knew that some day our marriage would be over that was when I also knew that he was passive aggressive big time.


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## manny1 (Nov 9, 2010)

manny1 said:


> This is something that ruined our marriage but I waited 15 years to get him out of my life. I really would like comments on this from both males and females. Dealt with infertility 6 years and knew very early that my husband was very infertile and not given much hope that he could father a child got like 6 opinions(his idea) . All of them did recommend using donor sperm since I did not have any infertility problems. He was against it and after about 5 years I asked him what exactly his problem with it was since he was ok with adoption. I didn't see what the difference was. We by the way were doing foster parenting and had started the adoption process. Lame reasons as I saw later getting other people involved was his reason: forgot to mention that I had been supporting him while he sort of went to school for like 10 years. Anyway finally he says he is ok with it and I get pregnant after about 4 or 5 tries which means he had plenty of time to back out. 3 months into my pregancy with twins and 1 month after my mom died and 2 months after bleeding and thinking I was going to miscarry he tells me "I don't think I will ever be able to accept this babies as my own because of what you did" which was get pregnant I guess. I told him go or stay it was up to him . He spent the rest of my pregnancy isolated from me though he didn't leave. He also said he didn't want his name on the birth certificates and wanted everyone to know they weren't his. Neither one of those two things happened in the end. I stayed with him for 15 years bcuz didn't want my kids to suffer from the decision made.
> I know I stopped loving him then and knew that some day our marriage would be over that was when I also knew that he was passive aggressive big time.


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## manny1 (Nov 9, 2010)

I think what bothered me the most was that I was supporting him and putting my life on hold to help him and he was not emotionally able to do for me. Which was the theme of our marriage.


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