# Waiting Patiently



## justfrustrated (Dec 18, 2011)

Let me start off by saying that my wife just gave birth to our first child and we're 2 weeks away from getting the "all clear", so I'm waiting VERY patiently. The question i have is about whats' happened up until now. When she got pregnant she had morning sickness pretty bad for 6 weeks so the sex stopped completely. Understandably. Unfortunately, it never came back. I mean we had the occasional romp but it would go a month or two at a time without and then it got really bad. During the last 4 months of the pregnancy we had sex ONE time, and during all of this, there were no "other" forms of sex going on. No oral, no anal, no foreplay... nothing. 

Now it's been a month since giving birth to our child and nothing has changed. in the last couple of weeks I've been hinting at some help with some oral aid or ANY help at all but I'm getting nothing.

I know i need to remain patient to have intercourse again, but everything we've been told preparing for the baby has been around staying creative with our sex life during and after pregnancy and i just kind of feel like she could care less.

any advice or anyone else go through this?


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Your main problem is poor communication. Work on this. Your wife isnt a mind reader, and "Hints" no matter how large, are never enough.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

anything else going on in the relationship?


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## justfrustrated (Dec 18, 2011)

No, nothing else unusual going on. I mean we didn't have a crazy freaky sex life before the pregnancy, but it wasn't this bad.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I think that a lot of ladies, when they are pregnant and new moms, and their hormones have been jacked around like crazy and you no longer feel anything like 'yourself' really could care less about sexual intimacy for themselves. I know that with our first baby, my mindset kind of slipped during that initial post-partum period until my H gently reminded me that even though my hormones had gone bonkers and my drive seemed to have blinked out, his were still cranking away like normal. It is easy to forget that when you are a new mom, so you need to keep gently reminding her. 

You should be bringing this up to your wife - and try and alleviate as much stress for her as possible. It is really hard to try and give it your all if you are physically feeling like a piece of crap because you're overtaxed, stressed out, and tired. So, if you can help her in any areas where she might be feeling like that, and do it without her telling/asking you to, it would likely be a great help and make a big impression.

But, don't let it just go. Let her know that you want to be able to strengthen your marriage, especially now that you have a new baby. You want to strengthen your family by strengthening your marriage by having that intimacy again.

You are right, there are a lot of other things that you can do. We actually did quite a lot of HJs (my H actually prefers those over BJs most of the time and I have gotten quite creative with them over time - often combining both elements) or even just him masturbating while we were both together. It helped take some of the pressure off and still kept a level of sexual intimacy going.

Best wishes and congratulations on the baby!


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