# Lonely sex life



## LonelyLamarr (Sep 9, 2020)

...


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I'm sorry but you clearly opened paradora's box and basically destroyed what was once something beautiful to fulfill your fetish. Let me ask you something are you sure she is not continuing a relationship with her work friend?


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

She's probably still regularly doing the work friend on the side.

Find out, discretely. Then get back to us.


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## LonelyLamarr (Sep 9, 2020)

No she’s not hooking up with her work friend. He lives in another state. I’d at least understand if she was but it’s like she’s not interested in sex, with me anyways.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Your sexual relationship was ruined by fooling around outside of your marriage at your insistence.

What a huge surprise.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Consequences.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Did you give any thought at all to the possibilities ahead of time? That introducing a third party(s) to sex would either escalate or denigrate sex in a fashion you might not be ready for? 

How is everything else going? Is there a hollow feeling to your marriage in general, or do things seem largely intact? 

And from a precautionary standpoint, not all STDs can be prevented using condoms. Safe sex is actually "safer" sex.

It's bad enough when you risk your own health, mental and physical, in risky endeavors. But to involve your wife as well is nuts, especially when you have responsibilities the two of you can't walk away from (your kids).

You don't know what you got 'till it's gone I guess.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I think many women don't respect men who are cool with them banging other men. It makes us feel very devalued.

Once the respect is gone we have no further sexual interest.

You two need some intense marriage counseling to see if you can deal with this.


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

I think it's a mixture of emotions.

The sex with her work colleague showed her how good sex can be. Now it may seem a bit pointless to have sex with you if it doesn't give her much in the way of orgasms.
Did your wife have much experience before meeting you?

Then there is the resentment because you basically **** out your wife to a stranger for free.
If she hadn't had one night stands in her past, then she probably hates you for this part. Sex without an emotional connection isn't her thing.
Which has in turn led to a lose of your original emotional connection together. Her anger is definitely showing in the way she is still dominating you sexually, by making you also now endure things you dislike during sex, like the medical shows.

How were things at home between you after her liaison on her own with her work colleague, her first time. Was sex still ok between you two then?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

It appears to me the fantasy of yours fulfilled by your W has killed her desire for sex at all. Self loathing and discussed with herself. Your W felt grossed out with a random encounter. She got emotional about sleeping with three different men in one night. This is when the problem started. I would think you are possibly the trigger to her discuss with herself in allow a fantasy of yours become a reality. Sex is a grim reminder of something she did not really want to do or did it only find out it was a poor choice. She sees herself in a very different light now.


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## LonelyLamarr (Sep 9, 2020)

EveningThoughts said:


> I think it's a mixture of emotions.
> 
> The sex with her work colleague showed her how good sex can be. Now it may seem a bit pointless to have sex with you if it doesn't give her much in the way of orgasms.
> Did your wife have much experience before meeting you?
> ...


No my wife was a virgin until we were married just a very sexual confident person. 

I do feel like there’s resentment from her having sex with a stranger, but it wasn’t anything forced by any means. In fact it was her idea but I think she was just curious and caught up in the moment, and alcohol, and feels like we made a bad decision.

You’re right she prefers sex with an emotional connection. That’s why the sex with her work friend was fantastic not to mention he was just much better.

After the first liaison with her work friend by themselves was fantastic. We had a lot of great sex and both eagerly awaited until they would meet again. 

Still confused about it so we’ll see how it continues.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dear *LonelyLamarr;

Obviously what she experienced changed her view on sex with you. I am sorry for your loss, but more sorry for her loss.

If you love her and your children and want to try to save your marriage, I would strongly recommend some form of marriage counseling. Since your problem seems to revolve around sex (or lack thereof) and seems to have started with your fetish, I would suggest the both of you seek help from a sex therapist and try to put your relationship back together.

Perhaps with a better understanding of what happened, with the establishment of clear boundaries and with forgiveness the two of you might be able to salvage your marriage.*

Good Luck.·


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Sometimes I just despair I really do. Your fetish which you probably pressured her into over time (despite what you say) has ruined the marriage and ruined your sex life. Well done, you have bought her feelings of guilt and shame, so much so that she no longer wants sex with you. Well well what a surprise. Adultery always has bad consequences, and this is yours. You may have just ruined the marriage for good.
If my husband suggested this, I would leave the marriage, because I would have no respect at all for a man who suggested that I have sex with another man, whose love for me and respect for me was so weak that he thought this was in anyway ok.
It never ceases to amaze me how stupid some people's decisions are.

The only thing that MAY help is your sincere and complete apology to her for what you put her though, for not protecting her emotionally or physically, or loving her enough, and the both of you to attend long term counselling. It will never be the same, but for the sake of your children you may be able to save the marriage.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

If nothing else.......

Thank you for showing the rest of us, _what *not *to do in a marriage_.

And why.



_Harken-_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Some men, they do..

They think their wife is a lovely appendage, not separate from them.

They want to enjoy life, sex through her eyes...... her eyes, being his.

Her lust being his.
Her breasts being his.
Her vagina being his.

In the end, this is projection, a holograph, a hollow thought.

When that dream occurs, with both awake, the plot is out of his mind, is now in her mind, and soon out of control.
That dream ends as a nightmare. 

As they are oft, to do.


_The Typist-_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You destroyed your marriage.

Sorry.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I'll confess that I tend to be rather judgmental of those that want to enjoy open relationships. Along with society being more open to people of a variety of sexual orientations such as LGBTQIA+, we also need to be more open minded and tolerant towards a couple's orientation towards monogamy or nonmonogamy. 

With that said relationships are complicated and almost all loose chemistry over time for a wide variety of reasons. Everyone looks for _something_ to blame when this happens. Probably her hormones are out of balance and she need to go to the doctor? What if she doesn't love you anymore? For sure there is something to blame!

Meanwhile the odds are everything is perfectly normal. In reality there may not even be a problem at all. All relationships suffer from libido changes. This happens to almost all relationships. When it does you work through it and find a way for your love as spouses to grow for each other in the process. 

Good luck, 
Badsanta


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

LonelyLamarr said:


> You’re right she prefers sex with an emotional connection. That’s why the sex with her work friend was fantastic not to mention he was just much better.


Yeah, sure  No one has an emotional connection with a co-worker from _another state_ unless they've been having an EA. If this guy is SO much better than you at pleasuring your wife, and she has such a GREAT connection with him, then why don't you divorce her and let her go to him? At least she'll want to **** him. 

You talked about all the great sex you were having before letting your wife become the town ****... Apparently not, seeing as your wife had FAR better sex with her co-worker on the first go. You are clearly an incredibly lazy lover, so of course the sex with you sucked. Instead of learning to please her better, you'd rather other men give your wife mind-blowing orgasms. Talk about lazy and unattractive. 

You want your wife to be pleased by other men and you want to watch. Congrats, mission accomplished. Now why don't you divorce her and watch from afar?


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