# Decided to finally say hello.



## NicoleT43 (Aug 14, 2019)

Hello everyone. I couldn't decide on a clever handle, so clearly my name is Nicole and I will be 43 next year. Luckily I dont look it. I have been married for 13 1/2 years (more on that later), no kids (by choice, but maybe more on that later too). We have 3 English Bull Terriers (Spuds Mcnzi dogs) and a gorgeous critter named Rossi (we are also raving MotoGP freaks). We live in Cape Town, South Africa. I work for an Insurance Provider as an administrator and my husband is a master grower (hemp etc).

I have been lurking on this board for years, posted once or twice under different handles but never made a serious go of it before. I'd like to stick around and maybe contribute more to TAM than a page count.

Troubled, difficult, angry, non communicative, pass agg, non affectionate, resentful, disrespected, unloved, lonely, sound familiar?

That's it for now. I will get into it all at some point. Suffice it for now to say hi.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Welcome. We look forward to hearing your situation.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hi. Welcome on board.


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## NicoleT43 (Aug 14, 2019)

My husband and I met on a blind date. I had been single for about 4 months out of a 21/2 year relationship and an amicable breakup. Dude was already divorced and not prepared to offer more than living together, which we were. I have a bit of a ginger fetish so this super cute and sexy redhead totally took my breath away. We connected really well physically as well and he maintains it was love at first sight for him too.. He 'proposed' after a month but it was more of a rhetorical proposal, as in "if I had to ask you to marry me what would you say?" kind of thing. Drink was taken and my response was "I would probably say yes"; next thing the world and its mother is sending me msgs of congratulations. 

I did a really dumb thing after he 'proposed' though, I took it back to my ex with a nah-nah-nah attitude and he suddenly decided he wanted me back. Because I think I hadn't taken the time to fully heal in btw relationships and my ex didnt want to marry me but someone did *shakes head at stupidity*.. anyway, I didnt want my ex back but given the nature of our breakup (amicable) we did hang out post proposal. Of course my fiance found out and I would say I never got his trust back after that. It didnt help that only a few days after we started sleeping together, after together only 3 weeks, we got pregnant and (will get into my whys later) I terminated. 

Need to take a break. More as and when.


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## NicoleT43 (Aug 14, 2019)

Before anyone asks, no, the baby was defs not my exes.


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## NicoleT43 (Aug 14, 2019)

We moved to Dubai on work contracts 6 months in. Got married 1 1/2 years later. No honeymoon. Spent 4 years in Dubai. Fell pregnant again and found out all in the same weekend that he lost his job (crash of 2008) and his mom was killed in a car crash. He came home for the funeral and then msgs ne to say pack up we coming home. Yay.

We left our Dubai apartment open to friends (come take what you want) came home and because of no work, no medical insurance and the trauma of losing his mom we terminated again and hit the drugs hard with all the friends we'd missed living overseas. This went on for a few months but I'd say the drugs became a bit of an issue, not so much addiction as our capacity and we lost out on a lot, and lost a lot.


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## NicoleT43 (Aug 14, 2019)

Sorry I've decided I'm not ready to share. Going to carry on cruising and commenting.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Best of luck


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

NicoleT43 said:


> Before anyone asks, no, the baby was defs not my exes.


How did your current husband find out that you terminated his baby? How did the discussion to terminate the second time happy whose idea was each?

Where are you originally from?

Never-mind, just got to the not wanting to share part. Seems this is really painful to you.


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