# Separated



## Lostsoul41 (Aug 2, 2021)

Hi

I wanted to reach out because I know divorce at any age is a lonely experience. I’m 29 and been married for short of 3 years. We’ve been together since 14.

my husband had an emotional affair with someone else. He told me he has no emotional connection to me and sees me like a room mate. He doesn’t want to try. He says he won’t be able to change his feelings.
I know there is more going in with him. He has debt and I suspect an issue with gambling. He has thrown him self in to work (so he says!) and is living his best life at his parents.
He has cut himself off from friends. Blocked mutual friends. He only talks to new women, including the one he had an emotional affair with.
I desperately wanted him back but he said there is no chance he will change his mind. So I know I need to move on. I’m absolutely heartbroken - coronavirus has ruined our life. I’m grieving the babies I thought I would have. The life I thought I would have as well as the lost of my spouse.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Like most you want this to be an emotional affair but for him to leave it’s probably a physical affair as well.

Let him go. Cut off all contact. 

If you don’t you will keep yourself tied up in things needlessly. He’s not worth your effort.

No one can make a chump out of you unless you let them.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

it takes time to fully get over a relationship , and normal when you think your over it your still have a way to go , 
it is the same as if someone you loved died unsuspected and you have the same stages to go through


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Sounds like he sowing his wild oats. And when a guy admits to an emotional affair, you can bet it's a physical one too. A lot on here have been through what you are going through. It sucks. You are hurting and will do anything..even make ridiculous sacrifices, beg and plead...to get your spouse back. That's the opposite of what you should be doing. Read about Michelle Davis' 180 and then do it. Not so much to save your marriage (although that might happen), but to get you through this hellish period of time.


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## RNSoSo (May 19, 2021)

We are close in age and have been with our partners for a similar length of time. I'm 31, married for 5 years and together with my ex for 15 years. We have been separated for 4 months. It's definitely hard, but like others have said you have to let him go. Deatch yourself. Its definitely easier said than done. But honestly for me, the moment my ex told me that he had a girlfriend (2 weeks into our separation) the warmth and love I had for him immediately turned off, and I just began deatching from him. It will get easier in time.


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