# Betrayed..now what?



## chozengrlc (Aug 5, 2009)

How do you get over it when the one you devoted your life and love to betrays you? You are left with a feeling of shock and pain. I feel completely naieve and stupid for ever trusting someone with my heart. Can anyone be trusted ever? Does the pain ever go away? Is it better to have the person gone? Do you heal faster with them not around? It has been over a year since my husband came out with his long list confession of all the lies and deceit he has done during our marriage because he needed to get it off his chest. Now im left with this terrible aftermath that daily plagues me. It feels like everything is a constant reminder of the lies. He refuses to leave or let me go. He acts like the world is perfect when i put my happy face on for the day as long as he is oblivious to my pain. The days I feel like I cant hold it in any longer he acts like it is a complete shock the way I feel. I try to continue on for my childrens sake and my family's sake with that smile that everything is wonderful but at night I feel completely alone and trapped. I feel so weak and my life is at a standstill. What now? I need advice please. Someone who has been in this situation and knows the pain when the person you were honest and loving to one day turns into this person you never knew and you are stuck trying to live with whats left.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

chozengrlc said:


> How do you get over it when the one you devoted your life and love to betrays you? You are left with a feeling of shock and pain. I feel completely naieve and stupid for ever trusting someone with my heart. Can anyone be trusted ever? Does the pain ever go away? Is it better to have the person gone? Do you heal faster with them not around? It has been over a year since my husband came out with his long list confession of all the lies and deceit he has done during our marriage because he needed to get it off his chest. Now im left with this terrible aftermath that daily plagues me. It feels like everything is a constant reminder of the lies. He refuses to leave or let me go. He acts like the world is perfect when i put my happy face on for the day as long as he is oblivious to my pain. The days I feel like I cant hold it in any longer he acts like it is a complete shock the way I feel. I try to continue on for my childrens sake and my family's sake with that smile that everything is wonderful but at night I feel completely alone and trapped. I feel so weak and my life is at a standstill. What now? I need advice please. Someone who has been in this situation and knows the pain when the person you were honest and loving to one day turns into this person you never knew and you are stuck trying to live with whats left.



I am sorry for your pain.
Here is the thing, its a mistake to devote your life to a spouse. You should devote your life to God... and the rest will follow as people will surley let you down. 
I learned this growing up and watching people, the neighbors, my friends parents, etc.........
You should NEVER devote your life to anyone but your heavenly father. All else comes below that.
After your heavenly father, you should devote your life to You and being the best person you can be... spouses come after that. Your devotion system is messed up, you need to re-calibrate it to one that works for you, not against you.


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## Grey Goose (Aug 23, 2012)

ok I understand your pain, my souse became someone I never knew and neither did he. He cheated an me and his family and now we are in process of divorce due to his confussiona nd lack of courage.

You guys need help, you can not keep on a happy face if it is not how you feel and he needs to accept and mend his ways (do the work). Look for guidance, counseling, read, meditate, spiritual help, anything that will get you healed as well as help for the broken relatinoship. You can not live a lie anymore cause he came out and now it is all in the open.


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## xirokx (Aug 14, 2012)

its easier for him when you smile, even now he thinks of himself...

if possible, get some therapy, work on yourself, over time try regain your confidence, self esteem and then drop him ASAP

its vital you focus on you right now and let those emotions surface otherwise they will linger along time...

none of this was your choice, so you need to do some work on coming to terms with it and when you are in a better place mentality you will know what to do and what you want to do...


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