# Bad Dreams



## TriednTired (Sep 9, 2016)

My wife and I have been married for just over a year-and-a-half. But she keeps having these bad dreams, in which I leave her or cheat on her. I tried consoling her several times only for her to continue to have these dreams. So tonight she tells me about another bad dream... only this time I didn't say anything because, frankly it's never good, I'm always the villain. Then she proceeds to act like she knows the dream is going to come true. So I tell her to leave me to avoid the situation(me doing whatever I did in her dream). Who is overreacting?


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## Palodyne (Mar 3, 2016)

She seems to have a major mental problem. How did you two not breech this situation before marriage? If she feels her screwed up dreams are glimpses into the future, Then leaves you because she feels they will come true. Then she is delusional. And you were not all overreacting to this behavior.


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## Palodyne (Mar 3, 2016)

TriednTired said:


> My wife and I have been married for just over a year-and-a-half. But she keeps having these bad dreams, in which I leave her or cheat on her. I tried consoling her several times only for her to continue to have these dreams. So tonight she tells me about another bad dream... only this time I didn't say anything because, frankly it's never good, I'm always the villain. Then she proceeds to act like she knows the dream is going to come true. So I tell her to leave me to avoid the situation(me doing whatever I did in her dream). Who is overreacting?


 Sounds like she may be the one projecting guilt. What do you actually know about her past? Usually a cheater projects their guilt on the innocent partner, remember that!


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## TriednTired (Sep 9, 2016)

Well, in all fairness unfortunately have cheated on her before we got married, we were just dating... yet, she suggested we get married and I said ok, to prove my love and commitment to her. But when we first started dating she said she had abandonment and trust issues. I honestly didn't fully understand the abandonment issues until later. I feel like I should have left when she told me that and we could have avoided these issues.

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## TriednTired (Sep 9, 2016)

And to be clear I cheated (not that it's ok or to be justified) but because she was too clingy, not wanting me to leave when i came over (insisting I leave something there, to make sure I came back)and I wasn't sure how I really felt (which I should have told her). At first I thought it was cute, but after a while it was like damn woman!

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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

TriednTired said:


> And to be clear I cheated (not that it's ok or to be justified) but because she was too clingy, not wanting me to leave when i came over (insisting I leave something there, to make sure I came back)and I wasn't sure how I really felt (which I should have told her). At first I thought it was cute, but after a while it was like damn woman!
> 
> Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk




Go read about attachment styles, she is an anxious style and you sound like an avoidant style. They don't mix well and probably never will.


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## TriednTired (Sep 9, 2016)

giddiot said:


> Go read about attachment styles, she is an anxious style and you sound like an avoidant style. They don't mix well and probably never will.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Attachment styles? Where is that?

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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

TriednTired said:


> Attachment styles? Where is that?
> 
> Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk


Just do a google search on attachment styles.


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