# Wife meeting hunk affair man . Devastated...help



## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

Please dont ask me why and begin.lecturing me on.long distance. Wife and I live 1000 miles apart. Work forces this. But moving in back together at the.end of her contract in two to three months. ANYWAY....
Ifound out that she has been emailing back n forth with this hunk she met on the dating website we.met on. A few years ago.
She gave him her number. He has said he would love to have dinner with her n she said yes. He said he would love to take her to the cabins and massage her n all n she said she would love that. He told her he was single n she said she was too. He mentioned about leaving the pst behind n just being them n she agreed "just u and me".
He lives in her town but they havent met.
My wife is shy and very reserved and has good Christian morals. WHY THE CHANGE? Is it long distance thats doing this?

HOW WILL SHE EXPLAIN TO HIM WHEN.SHE.MOVES DOWN HERE TO MY STATE TO BE WITH ME IN A FEW MONTHS? Is this just about sex? 
We see each other once every like 45 days or more. Or like a weekend.
Today she is going for some event downtown AND HAS INVITED HIM.Im in shock.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

HOW WILL SHE EXPLAIN TO HIM WHEN.SHE.MOVES DOWN HERE TO MY STATE TO BE WITH ME IN A FEW MONTHS?

She won't explain anything to him; But she will be explaining to you why she can't move down. You are about to lose you wife. Does she know that you know? If not, the first step is telling her.


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

She doesnt know I know. She said to him shes single n seeking a good man. I HAVE NEVER TREATED HER BAD EVEN ONE.DAY. NOT EVEN ONE. WHAT DOES SHE MEAN A GOOD MAN? Im thinkkng this ks something she is juat saying to him
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

It sounds foolish but cause of being miles away I cant stop an affair. If I let her know I know she will just conceal it better. Im shocked.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

docj

Just email her and ask her where she wants to be served the D papers.

Stop being stupid and rolling over.

Your wifes Christian morals flew out the window.

Thank God you still have yours. Go find someone that values yours.

Oh yeah, copy the her BF on the email so he knows she was lying to him to about being single.

HM64


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

docj said:


> *She gave him her number. He has said he would love to have dinner with her n she said yes. He said he would love to take her to the cabins and massage her n all n she said she would love that. He told her he was single n she said she was too. He mentioned about leaving the pst behind n just being them n she agreed "just u and me".*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Looks like either your wife had a lot of extra time on her hands,
[ The devil finds work for idle hands to do ] , or
She's no longer attracted to you, and *desires* to live the single life.

If you guys don't have any kids, then maybe you should get the divorce papers ready and fulfil 
her * desires .*


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## ShootMePlz! (Oct 5, 2008)

yeah she might just hide it but its the only chance you have to stop it! Shame by you knowing and possible exposure to family etc may be the water in the face to wake her up!!!


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

What the heck? Last time you were heading home to check the situation with your wife the that co-worker. Now you have a whole new story! What is going on?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

At this point it's time to lay down the ultimatum - she chooses you/marriage or divorce.

It's not about one guy or another - it's about her not living the life of a married woman.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

happyman64 said:


> docj
> 
> *Just email her and ask her where she wants to be served the D papers.*
> 
> ...



:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

Im dissapointed
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Stop being disappointed and file for divorce. She is actively seeking out other men other than her husband. She is hiding this activity from you while she lies to the other men about being married so they will hook up with her. Why would you want to stay married to a woman like this?

Get out now. She is a serial cheater and cannot be trusted. She will not change. She will just get better at hiding it. Divorce.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Weren't you FB messaging her from a fake FB profile? You said you would visit her. What happened ?

And she is lying because she wants to start and affair without leaving you.


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Have to say fella..... shes basically making the new life before the move and you've practically sounded like your accepting it.
What hapyman said I endorse 100%. You need to man up a little, get a legal rep sorted and gather some quick advice. Sit at your computer open the email window and do exactly what youve been advised here. Copy the numbskull in so he can see that shes lying and make sure he knows that he is about to be named in a divorce ruling. Make sure that you trap any joint finance accounts so that your not washed out (got to be a real pain when she sees zero to spend and a divorce coming). Then having sent the email make sure that everything that comes to you from him or her is copied to a safe area including text , letters or mails. You may find you be under attack from her and the OM so keep quiet about whats planned this included your and her friends and you can them make her family aware that she playing away from home - attack is frequenly the best form of attack......


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Is this the traveling nurse?


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

docj said:


> Im dissapointed
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Please understand im not bashing you here.
This has been going on for a long time,and you refusal to go home
and deal with it..

So why are you disappointed ?


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## shazam (Nov 7, 2011)

docj said:


> Please dont ask me why and begin.lecturing me on.long distance. Wife and I live 1000 miles apart. Work forces this. But moving in back together at the.end of her contract in two to three months. ANYWAY....
> Ifound out that she has been emailing back n forth with this hunk she met on the dating website we.met on. A few years ago.
> She gave him her number. He has said he would love to have dinner with her n she said yes. He said he would love to take her to the cabins and massage her n all n she said she would love that. He told her he was single n she said she was too. He mentioned about leaving the pst behind n just being them n she agreed "just u and me".
> He lives in her town but they havent met.
> ...


because she does not have good christian morals maybe?


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Don't wait another minute. Confront her ASAP.
If they met the'd f0ck, that's for sure. Save yourself that headacke.


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

Jonesy ive said it time n time again I HAVE A JOB CONTRACT I CANT GET OUT OF UNTILL ITS OVER. Isee her once a month. Its not unheard of for couples to work in different towns.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

No. I see my wife less seldom.

Is this a serious question?

One of two things has happened.

One: this is the first time this is happening. (Haven't followed all your threads though this seems to be the second time). If it is, you make it hard, swift and VERY PAINFUL. 

This lets her know that she can't do this crap (though how you know this, I don't know) 

Expose to EVERYONE.

Second: that she's already failed in her marital vows in a big way and she wants some more.

In this case, you expose as swiftly, and hard as possible. Then you divorce.

Unless this is a put up job. I have a hard time taking this question seriously.

Or are you to vent?


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

docj said:


> Jonesy ive said it time n time again I HAVE A JOB CONTRACT I CANT GET OUT OF UNTILL ITS OVER. Isee her once a month. Its not unheard of for couples to work in different towns.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What has Job contract got to do with this? Decide marriage or your job.
But still there are ways you can go home anyways.Fake illness.Take personal days of.Make something up....


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

Jonesy I do go home every thirty days. I go for four to five days
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

docj said:


> Jonesy I do go home every thirty days. I go for four to five days
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Please understand im not trying to bash you..
i hope things works out well for you


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

I understand thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

ok my bad, removing advice, op's wife is hooking up with other men. Op will deal with it at some point. He just wants to know how to "cope" till then
I'm un-subscribing.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

So what happened with the coworker you were worried about?

Your wife is very clearly lonely and looking to be with a man It could be you, or someone else. She's fishing.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

docj said:


> She doesnt know I know. She said to him shes single n seeking a good man. I HAVE NEVER TREATED HER BAD EVEN ONE.DAY. NOT EVEN ONE. WHAT DOES SHE MEAN A GOOD MAN? Im thinkkng this ks something she is juat saying to him
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You're a good man with no self respect. You are letting her walk all over you. I will assume you have not been married long and have no children. This is ridiculous. How much is your marriage worth? You tell us not to lecture you on the premise of your situation when it is ridiculous. What you need to focus on is that if she is speaking to this man online it has not breached into PA and it is solely EA. If you want to do anything about it you can first off think in your mind ahead of time what will happen.

You rush to visit her and tell her IN PERSON that you know what you know. 
Then she tells you, "no way, thats not true." 
Then you tell her, "look here is the evidence."
Then she says "no no, we are just friends, and I don't know why I said somethings that I said."
Then you say,"its ok i forgive you and I just want you back."
She then says, "ok i'm sorry, thank you."
Then you leave and go back to work 1000 miles away and she will change password to email/login so you cannot access her.
THen you tell her "why did you change password? why didn't you leave it?"
Then she says "i need privacy, you're over reacting, you need to calm down"
etc
etc
etc
than you waste two-five years of your life trying to get back together with your wife. She was not designed to have a LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE. Some people are not designed to have a long distance marriage. If you want a long distance marriage you need to find a person who will not go out and drink, party, is online, or met on a dating site. Its too easy to find an ILLUSION of someone better.

Moral of the story either move in and close the deal or move on.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

And the reason a married woman with "good, Christian morals" needs to use a dating site is... because.... Well, _*why*_, exactly?

Is this her first affair, or just the first you know about?:scratchhead:


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

I think its loneliness
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Well, since you seem set on doing nothing but hoping everything, please insist that she takes a NICE LONG BATH which you can see before you 'celebrate' your return. And don't foget to make her gargle with Listerine. 

Just saying. And make sure you treat her EXTRA NICE.

Edited to add: If you do not like the visuals that started, maybe you might be inspired to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

If your dad died, would your 'contractor' allow you to visit his funeral for a few days? How about if he was critically ill?

Well, let me tell you: Your marriage in on life support and the doctors are looking for someone to sign for an operation. 

But I'm sure your job will give you PLENTY of time to sign the divorce decree...


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Got a **** here


Since you seem intent on not handling your business like a man, call her and see if she can get a web cam. That way you can at least watch the plowing OM is inevitably going to give to her while you're wasting time twiddling your thumbs and being disappointed. 

Either man up or don't, but if you willingly choose to be her cuckold, don't expect any sympathy.


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

I have to ask.

Are you for real,or are you just messing with us??
Am asking because this has been going on for a long time.
And yet you do nothing..This would have driven me NUTS by now..


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Nah. He might be in a huge financial bind and in an industry which looks at frivilous excuses to run home as reason to black ball.

But a paycheck won't fix you dinner or give you sex.

This is a personal emergency. I'd get a short (3 day) leave of absence and stop her date night Same night. Just show up and drag her somewhere else. Don't let her have a cell phone so Lothario is left high and dry with the cost of the cabin (serves him right)

It will provoke a fight. Lay it out for her after dinner. Tell her your next drive is to her mom's with the email correspondence.


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

JCD said:


> Nah. He might be in a huge financial bind and in an industry which looks at frivilous excuses to run home as reason to black ball.
> 
> But a paycheck won't fix you dinner or give you sex.
> 
> ...


Thats my point..You can make up any excuse ,just anything.
but he dosent. hence my question.Just dont get it


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## Thinkitthrough (Sep 5, 2012)

I agree. I have live my life in fear, fear of failure, fear of being abandon and a fear of conflict. I tolerated my wifes behaviour for a while (out of fear of abandonment), then I told her she could go out (to her boyfriend) or she could stay and work on the marriage. She chose and it was bad, for a while. Now my life is better. If I can do it, and flourish, I think just about anyone can.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Dude is writing on this board your hobby? This is the 3rd story you have posted that I know of. The last one you made it sound like it was all coming down and you were going to lay down the law and you disappeared and now here you are again with a slightly different story. 

You have been called on this before and you get all girly pissy when confronted but I am calling you out as a complete troll. Knock it off!


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

R clawson i have zero time to waste writing rubbish here. If u do that good. I dont. Its the third story cause i have a cheating wife. This is an infidelity board. there r other things id rather.b doing than having to worry about this. Neither do i care about all the people writing about how i.dont go home etx. Ive said it, i have a job to do that ends in Dec. For now i hv to bear with it. In this economy i wont jeopardize my job. I get five days off a month n i go up to see her. Im not hear clueless on what to do. I write so that others who have been thru the aame situation can tell me how they.coped. Word is COPED. IMNOT A KID. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO.SO STOP WITH THE CONDENSCENDING LECTURES LIKE IM YALLS SON. I want to know how other guys coped. All the advice u put here i know. It doesnt take a rocket scientist
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

Save the lectures for your son. If u cant tell me how u coped, move along to another post Clawson. Some of u probably dont have jobs so u dont understand tht in this economy you would be a fool to let go of a job. Of she cheats cause im away let her cheat. I cant stop it. Im dissapointed yes. I wanna know how people have coped. Save the lectures for your sons.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

docj said:


> Save the lectures for your son. If u cant tell me how u coped, move along to another post Clawson. Some of u probably dont have jobs so u dont understand tht in this economy you would be a fool to let go of a job. Of she cheats cause im away let her cheat.* I cant stop it*. Im dissapointed yes. I wanna know how people have coped. Save the lectures for your sons.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


One phone call to her putting the fear of the upcoming sh!tstorm when you get your days off would put a stop to it.

You just choose not to, probably because you fear her response.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

But Doc you are wasting people's time. You have been asked questions in this thread regarding your previous posting and you have neglected to answer them like they do not exist. 

Your first posting about being "Christians and Swingers" ended as abruptly as it started. Your second thread did as well when people began questioning the contradictions in your two threads. Your third thread was brilliant and drama filled although more than a few made the same accusation as I have made here. Then after weeks of receiving suggestions and counsel you announce you are going to face this thing head on and disappear for weeks until this post without addressing what happened in between.

I am sorry you are not happy with my accusatory statement but some of us do not like being treated like we are STUPID. In order for most of us here to give a rats a$$ about your circumstances you need to have CREDIBILITY and quite honestly "son" you have very little at this point. 

So before you go off all half ****ed again why don't you make yourself credible by filling in the holes.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Okay. You want to cope.

You have a splinter in your soul. It is festering. It's name is 'wife'. She is causing an infection inside of you with her blatant and flaggrant cheating.

I don't know if you told her you know. If you haven't, shame on you. That is YOUR fault and problem.

Now, you can have HER remove the splinter by informing her of her activities and spreading the wealth to all her family and friends so that she quits them and makes changes in her life to ensure you can start to trust her again (a LONG road)

OR you can remove the splinter herself by, when the next 5 days occur, getting the important stuff you have and seeing an attorney. Remove her from your life.

There is a third option of coping, though I hesitate to mention it. It is forming a callous around the splinter. All those new sexual techniques she's using on you? She learned them from Cosmo. When Girls Night Out happens two or three times when you are home and end around 3 am....she's really with the girls. When she gets home and rushes to the shower? It's because she wants to be clean and fresh for you and has nothing to do with her prior activities. If the 'fit' isn't right any more...it's just age. When you can't reach her on the phone, it's because she's working. Even at 12 midnight.

Repeat those phrases constantly and you may start to believe them. It helps if you have a bucket of sand handy or you are in the Egyptian River.

Those are the only options you seem to have.

Edited to add: Okay. You can be eyes wide open. You've chosen Mammon over Hesta as your God, so Money is now your central goal. Your wife has chose Aphrodite over Hera. She's what she is.

So start dating. Why should you honor your vows?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

docj said:


> HOW WILL SHE EXPLAIN TO HIM WHEN.SHE.MOVES DOWN HERE TO MY STATE TO BE WITH ME IN A FEW MONTHS? Is this just about sex?
> We see each other once every like 45 days or more. Or like a weekend.
> Today she is going for some event downtown AND HAS INVITED HIM.Im in shock.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Why would you LET her move in with you?? She will just find a NEW guy when she gets settled! IF she even MAKES the move, that is...she is obviously having fun where she is.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Dude, the main problem is that you don't reach conclusion in your stories. Last time you were heading out to check on your wife and her coworker and now you completely forgot about that story and came up with a completely new one.

I think people that spent time giving you advice last time were at least expecting some continuity in the way of what happened in between these two stories. Right now it looks like you keep presenting new stuff without even bothering to give people a full account of the whole deal. 


This is why people are accusing you once more of making this stuff up. And the old "i have a job that i won't leave for nothing" is getting kinda old since you don't have to take that much time to do something about this situation.


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

Costa im done here. I dont come here to report progress. Its not a court. This is like a blog. I go through something I post it to see who else has gone through similar accounts and how they cope. Everyones different. If you feel the need to.come report back here after every post thats all well n good. Its not me. Im not breaching any law. Im not here to be liked. Nekther am I moved by high school gang mentality.
Im faced with this.new situation. Thats my focus. Not wbat happened six yrs ago with an ex wife. People here tend to think they are very important. 
I do not have to.report back here. I can post. You dont have to read if you dont want to. Thos is not to me someanization or secret
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

Some organization or secret society brotherhood where I must report back. Situations r fluid. Nothing is static. My previois dilemna with her n other co worker resolved itaelf. This is my new challenge. I dont even read half the bs from people sagong quit my job n move back. Km not here to please anyone no do I owe anyone anhthing. So you can keep yelling n giving advice to the bkrds. Its not the reason I write
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

This is a discussion forum, not a blog. People note observations and sometimes give advice based on what you post. That is to be expected. There was some discussion in your older thread. You said you would be meeting your wife in the next few days in your posts. Then you come here and start a new thread and present a new set of circumstances.

People who are following your old thread cannot make sense of this new thread. Yes, this is not a court. You aren't required to give us details that you don't want to.We aren't your enemies. You are getting defensive for the wrong reasons. Most people that are calling you troll cannot make sense of your situation, especially given your old thread. Good luck!!


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

docj said:


> Costa im done here. I dont come here to report progress. Its not a court. *This is like a blog.*
> 
> and the problem telling us this from the start was??
> 
> ...


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## martyc47 (Oct 20, 2011)

docj said:


> R clawson i have zero time to waste writing rubbish here. If u do that good. I dont. Its the third story cause i have a cheating wife. This is an infidelity board. there r other things id rather.b doing than having to worry about this.


The problem is people DID give you advice, and you completely ignore it. So it seems like you get some benefit out of this. It may be the 3rd story because you have a cheating wife, but she has an enabling husband. From here, it almost sounds like you probably pleasure yourself to thoughts of your wife and her "hunk." Distance and your job have nothing to do with accepting and enabling your wife to bang other dudes. Though you've pretty much stated you would choose any job over your marriage anyway- doesn't seem like either of you are into the marriage, and maybe you just need something to cling to for whatever reason. Why not file for D? Then you can focus on your job 1000 miles away and won't have to worry about a cheating wife because you won't have one.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

There was this man running along this unfamiliar jogging path in the mountains of Vermont. The day had just begun and there was this wonderfully scenic low fog bank filling the valley beneath him.

Well, Vermont mornings frequently have dew and the hills of Vermont certainly has slimes and molds so this jogger slipped on the rocks and he found himself plummeting down this cliff. He hits this small tree growing sideways out of the cliff side. He clings on to it as if his life depends on it...but his hands start to get tired. He can't see below him and he can't see above him to climb up.

He's losing hope when he hears someone else jogging along the same path. He sceams for help and the person stops. He explains his situation.

The voice from above considers for a few moments. "Okay, it's three miles to anyone who has any rope, but you're in luck. I jogged this path every day for the last 4 years. You have about a 20 foot fall beneath you, but then the cliff slopes out. If you just roll in the fall, you should reach the bottom okay. You'll be bruised up and everything, but you'll be okay if you just let go and do what I say."

The man hanging from the branch considers this, looking at the white at his feet. Finally, he asks "Is there anyone else up there I can talk to?"

**

I've heard your case. Honestly, it doesn't matter if you believe us, whether you take our advice, or you curse us all as Masons or whatever else you're railing at.

The results will be the same: You leave her or she leaves you and the only difference is the amount of brusing you'll get at the end of the affair.

Good luck with the next guy coming down the path.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

docj said:


> Im dissapointed
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You should be use to it by now. I mean she's been disappointing you for how long? 

Youv'e been here since '09 and I've been here since'10 and you still deal with the same crap over and over again.

Sorry brother if this sounds like a lecture, but I'm calling it like I see it.

Hopefully she will calm down when you guy get together and stay together?


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

I didnt know the history here, christian swingers really.
I cant believe I spent any time on this. Im un-subscribing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

docj said:


> Costa im done here. I dont come here to report progress. Its not a court. This is like a blog.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Only it isn't... And your other thread was about asking for advice on the coworker situation. People walked you through it and when you were about to reach a conclusion point you left for weeks and now you return with a completely different story. 

Nobody is asking for a report, but this is sounding more and more like a troll thread. 



> I go through something I post it to see who else has gone through similar accounts and how they cope. Everyones different. If you feel the need to.come report back here after every post thats all well n good. Its not me. Im not breaching any law. Im not here to be liked. Nekther am I moved by high school gang mentality.
> Im faced with this.new situation. Thats my focus. Not wbat happened six yrs ago with an ex wife. People here tend to think they are very important.
> I do not have to.report back here. I can post. You dont have to read if you dont want to. Thos is not to me someanization or secret


People help each other here. They offer support and advice. But they require a bit of info on what it going on to do so. When the story doesn't seem to add up they require clarification. I see nobody genuinely seeking help not clarifying stuff to better understanding. But you, on the other hand get all defensive and start pissing against the wind. 

And that is interesting, because it's a singular attitude for a guy who's wife cheats on him continuously and he refuses to make a move to end it.


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## HusbandX (Jul 13, 2012)

I was prepared to give DocJ the benefit of the doubt during the last post, and would be inclined to do the same here. If you take a step back and look at things logically, what he says makes a little sense. Not everyone wants to come back and report on things if something appears to be resolved, but as soon as there is another crisis, again they want help - to me that's how some people are.

However, Docj you're mostly being attacked for the way you conduct yourself with those offering advice. You lay out your situation for all to read and then flame anyone who tells you something you already know or don't want to hear. Additionally each time you refuse to do what others suggest, they lose any empathy they may have for you and if this process is repeated they also lose trust in you and your stories.

I'm not sure what you want from this thread. But really, you have 3 choices here.

1) You do whatever it takes to get 48 hours off work and confront your wife with everything you know and all your suspicions and thrash it out to a conclusion (good or bad).
2) You bury your head in the sand and post on here and attack those offering advice, knowing nothing will ever get resolved and your wife will enjoy another man in your absence
3) You admit you're trolling and the idea of your wife with another man is just a huge fantasy and it's the thought you fall asleep to every night you're alone. If that's the case just be man enough to admit it and consider joining lushstories or similar to share your fantasies.

As far as I'm concerned, whether you're genuine or not - I just don't care. I am no longer interested in reading or offering advice to someone who cannot accept the views of others who were genuinely trying to help. So from where I sit, you're on your own.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

If you put in half the effort into your current situation than you do b*tchin at people here, you would have a better handle on your relationship.

I mean, what action have you taken? Anything? You come on here explaining that your wife is having an affair and you want people to give you advice on how to COPE while the affair is ongoing?

You shouldn't have to COPE with your wife's affair. You need to put a stop to it or end the marriage because you know damn well that you deserve a woman that's going to be faithful to you.

I mean, a simple e-mail from you that states, "I know" gets the ball rolling. Whether for the positive or the negative, it's forward progress. Right now, you're being stagnant. She went out with him to a parade (I think that's what you said) and you don't think that anything physical happened? They watched a parade, grabbed some coffee, shook hands and departed each others company? You know something physical happened and you could have stopped it or had a gameplan to move on. 

There's an old saying. Sh*t or get off the pot. And don't tell me that you're going to wait until you see her face to face. You see her once every 30 days. Do you really want to give her a few weeks to become more intrenched in this affair. It will drive you crazy laying in bed at night wondering if at that very moment; your wife is sharing a bed with someone else.

You need to make a move on this now. So, what's your gameplan?


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