# inherited some money



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I recently came into some money. The wife immediately became anxious about how I was going to spend it....We had planned to pay off the house, but I don't think she trusted me to do the right thing. I sat up late one night, and figured it all out.

She was getting a little snarky about my windfall, so I sat down and spelled out what I was going to do...

With my plan I was going to pay off 
our home
our rental property
my car
my sons car (he is paying us back)
upgrade her car

She said we could not possibly pay all that off, but I did...

We are now totally debt free....

I did one thing I have never done, I kept some cash in an account in my name only...She is totally not happy..... 

I have a few thousand dollars, and I plan to use it for vacations, get aways, perhaps a cruise. She is too cheep to spend money on fun, so I have taken things into my own hands...

I think I did OK, and was more than fair with how I spent MY money...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sounds very fare to me!! Seems like she needs to chill a bit. Having all that debt paid of definitely benefits her too.

You did very well


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

I'm a ****. I would have agreed with her and said "Yep. Can't pay it all off. Back in a week. Going to Vegas for gambling, hookers and coke." Then bounced for a week.


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Woodchuck said:


> I recently came into some money. The wife immediately became anxious about how I was going to spend it....We had planned to pay off the house, but I don't think she trusted me to do the right thing. I sat up late one night, and figured it all out.
> 
> She was getting a little snarky about my windfall, so I sat down and spelled out what I was going to do...
> 
> ...


Yes.....I think this is a lot better than telling her that you are keeping all the money in a separate account and that way if you divorce she will not be able to get a single dime of it.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Isn't it funny that spouses automatically assume that an inheritance is joint property? You could have put it all into an account in your name only and declared it was for retirement. Good job on being debt-free! Ask your wife what she is going to do with any inheritance she gets. You already paid off all the debt.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I think you have done very well. Your wife's future is now more secured and she should be happy about this. I like knowing my husband has a bit of money on the side. That way if he goes spending on something crazy, it not with our money.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

ButtPunch said:


> Yes.....I think this is a lot better than telling her that you are keeping all the money in a separate account and that way if you divorce she will not be able to get a single dime of it.


There is a reason the law is written that inheritance is not shared 50/50 when a marriage is concerned. It protects those that have a spouse that is hanging around to split the inheritance. 

Paying the house off would be ok(IMO) if this home were to be your forever home. If not, I would have kept making the payments and taken the interest write off on my taxes. Your home is basically your only deductible on Federal returns(sans kids).


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"Paying the house off would be ok(IMO) if this home were to be your forever home. If not, I would have kept making the payments and taken the interest write off on my taxes. Your home is basically your only deductible on Federal returns(sans kids)."

Unless the deduction will keep you out of a higher tax bracket, one needs to weigh the interest rate on the loan versus the interest rate one could earn. If the interest rate on the loan is higher then pay it off. It makes no sense to pay $1 in interest only to recoup 30some-odd cents back on the tax deduction.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> Isn't it funny that spouses automatically assume that an inheritance is joint property? You could have put it all into an account in your name only and declared it was for retirement. Good job on being debt-free! Ask your wife what she is going to do with any inheritance she gets. You already paid off all the debt.


She actually assumed that, and she said I was selfish for keeping some money for vacations, but I took care of my dad for over 3 years before he passed away, and think we, and for damned sure I deserve a nice vacation, in fact, several...


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I never spent money during our marriage. I didn't get the mustang I wanted in 1966 till I retired in 2011...our best vacations were camping trips to the kids, no trips to the islands....I bought her a new Lincoln last year. It should be the last car we ever need. I have a fishing boat...Now I want to get out a few times a year...Rent a houseboat for a week...Take a couple of trips to look at the leaves change, rent a house on a lake for a month...I hope I can talk her into visiting me....


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Ah money. It's loved by all but understood by only a few. I can just about guarantee that if you wife got the inheritance she would tell you to pound sand if you tried telling her what to do with the new money.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I hope you manage a vacation.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Very sensible way to spend your windfall! As for you putting aside a few thousand for holidays etc - again, good for you!


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## Borntohang (Sep 4, 2014)

As a Financial Advisor, you my want to rethink your plan...I'm not sure if you have already done all of this, but there are better ways to handle this.
First, let me say, SPEND some for a wonderful vacation! You've earned it! And I'm sure your dad would want you too!
Second, let's think about your sons car...As an Advisor, what would you say if I recommended you to put money into an investment, that's guaranteed to be worth less next year, and even less the following year! That's what a car is!

I don't know if you're self employed, but I suspect that you don't have many tax deductions (other than expenses related to the rental property) 
What interest rate are you paying on your mortgage,? (That you're taking off your taxes )

I don't really want the answers to theses questions! But you may want to get some advice. 

P.S. For most people, this is a one time shot! They aren't inheriting anything else! 
P.P.S. Not to mention "co-mingleing" inherent ed money, the community property!


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

> I don't know if you're self employed, but I suspect that you don't have many tax deductions (other than expenses related to the rental property)
> What interest rate are you paying on your mortgage,? (That you're taking off your taxes )


Often poor financial advice. Let's send $10k to the bank in interest to save $3k on taxes. That reasoning has never made sense to me. It is a net loss of $7k. Please explain how that makes sense, as I hear financial advisors claim you always want tax deductions.

Sorry to hi-jack the thread.

Congrats on your inheritance. I would have done very similar.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"P.S. For most people, this is a one time shot! They aren't inheriting anything else!
P.P.S. Not to mention "co-mingleing" inherent ed money, the community property!"

Your advice is moot as the deed is done - mortgages are paid off etc. It helps to read the entire post.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

"MY" money? Thats... a great team mentality. Maybe you ought to start referring to the house as "MY house", along with everything else. Really put her in her place.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Inheritances are different. He didn't earn it and she didn't earn it. His father earned it and passed it on to his son to better his son's life. Any spouse who has a problem with their spouse receiving an inheritance is a gold digger.

My husband spent his inheritance on poker. Fine by me.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I had a SIL that inherited a half million from her 3rd husband, who had inherited it from a LTR...He died soon after, and she re married. 

Her last husband was retired from the military, and had terrific health care and a nice monthly income. They were together about ten years when she died....Her daughter had been expecting a large inheritance, but got nothing...Her mother had gambled it all away at riverboat casino's...They had gambled at least 3 nights a week, and had to borrow from his kids for every day expenses....Probably went through 2 million during their marriage...

The daughter was VERY BITTER, got busted taking cash out of their account with an ATM card...even tried to sell the house they had owned together, and pocket the money...


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Definitely fair. Much better than what my wife did. She got a little money after her parents died that ended up in a secret account all to herself and she had no intention at all to spend it on the family, pay bills over or anything, just her selfish whims. I spent my whole life paying the family's bills while my wife never pais off one damned thing. Your wife ought to think she is lucky to have an H like you who spends inheritance money on the family and even to upgrade her car. She has no right to be uptight about the way you spent your inheritance. If I ever any inheritance money, I will spend it as though it were MY money.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"They had gambled at least 3 nights a week, and had to borrow from his kids for every day expenses....Probably went through 2 million during their marriage..."

His kids were enablers. Her daughter was entitled. My husband didn't inherit nearly that much but it was his to do with as he pleased. It pleased him to play poker with his friends.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I thought inheritances received during marriage becomes joint property. Nowhere in the US is that the case?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Woodchuck said:


> I had a SIL that inherited a half million from her 3rd husband, who had inherited it from a LTR...He died soon after, and she re married.
> 
> Her last husband was retired from the military, and had terrific health care and a nice monthly income. They were together about ten years when she died....Her daughter had been expecting a large inheritance, but got nothing...Her mother had gambled it all away at riverboat casino's...They had gambled at least 3 nights a week, and had to borrow from his kids for every day expenses....Probably went through 2 million during their marriage...
> 
> T*he daughter was VERY BITTER, got busted taking cash out of their account with an ATM card...even tried to sell the house they had owned together, and pocket the money...*


How was this possible?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

NextTimeAround said:


> I thought inheritances received during marriage becomes joint property. Nowhere in the US is that the case?


Not that I'm aware of in any state. Prevents gold diggers or surprises them when windfall comes in and they look to leave the marriage with half of it. Whatever the case may be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

NextTimeAround said:


> I thought inheritances received during marriage becomes joint property. Nowhere in the US is that the case?


The inheritance belongs to the person receiving it. However, the moment it is placed in a joint account and the funds are co-mingled it becomes joint property. 

I have inherited my grandmother's house, the deed is in my name. I rent it out and use the rent to keep the property up. The rest I spend on my family. But it is still my house. 

The funds that my husband received when his step-father passed away is in his name only. I am a benefitery on the account but I am not joint owner. 

It's better to keep things that way. If I died our kids inherit my gm's house. 

It's when you co-mingle funds that's its hell sorting it, in case of a divorce.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> I thought inheritances received during marriage becomes joint property. Nowhere in the US is that the case?




It is not considered joint property unless both parties are named in the will. If it is left to one person it doesn't become community property unless and until it commingles with joint assets (like the OP did when he used his inheritance to pay off a marital home and purchased a car for his wife).


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

If you use any of the inheritance to buy a sofa for the home or a tv or any asset, it could cause trouble as you have co-mingled assets. You may want to check on your belief.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> If you use any of the inheritance to buy a sofa for the home or a tv or any asset, it could cause trouble as you have co-mingled assets. You may want to check on your belief.


Any inherited funds if you use it to buy things or property that is jointly owned by you and your spouse belongs to the two of you. That is what the co-mingling is.

If the inherited funds stays in an account with just your name, then, it belongs to only you. 

That is why people don't co-mingle their inheritance, in case of a divorce it's hell sorting things out. Keep the funds separate, you can use the interest/dividends on your family, just make sure the principal is not used for joint purchases.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> How was this possible?


Her mom and step dad were both in an independent care facility, and the daughter had their ATM card to buy things for them....

She also had a conversation with one of his sons about how nice it would be if the proceeds from the house was used to send her kids to college...

She got the necessary signatures to sell the house, as well as a couple of cars, and cashed the checks and put it in her account....

She hit the ATM to take the family on a little vacation trip to rest up after moms funeral....

At this point in time, all the money in the account belonged to the step dad....As well as all the money from the sale of the house, and cars...

Step dad caught on, and told his daughters about it...It hit the fan, DIL was busted, and wound up with what she deserved....NADA...

It was a big mess, the sheriff's office was involved, as was the DIL's boss who was a lawyer...She was lucky charges were not pressed.....


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I would have done the same. People who are in debt really don't own anything. They are in the hole. One never knows what the future might bring, but we can all safely assume we will still want a place to stay. Paying off the house gives you security. To find a wife who believed her husband made great decisions one would have to time travel back to about 1955.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Yeswecan said:


> There is a reason the law is written that inheritance is not shared 50/50 when a marriage is concerned. It protects those that have a spouse that is hanging around to split the inheritance.
> 
> Paying the house off would be ok(IMO) if this home were to be your forever home. If not, I would have kept making the payments and taken the interest write off on my taxes. Your home is basically your only deductible on Federal returns(sans kids).


That deduction is useful only for those who itemize, which is a minority of tax filers. But even then, paying off the loan is a sure way to "make" whatever interest rate you were paying, which is probably a lot higher than whatever you could get in the bank.

In other words, paying off the mortgage is almost always the best way to go.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

technovelist said:


> That deduction is useful only for those who itemize, which is a minority of tax filers. But even then, paying off the loan is a sure way to "make" whatever interest rate you were paying, which is probably a lot higher than whatever you could get in the bank.
> 
> In other words, paying off the mortgage is almost always the best way to go.


I still disagree specifically since I said if this was a forever home. I do not see any sense in paying off a home that one only intends on living in for 5-10 years. Pay off your home in this situation is a gamble to me. Specifically if your home decreased in appraised value. Home appreciating in value is no longer a sure thing since 2008.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Yeswecan said:


> I still disagree specifically since I said if this was a forever home. I do not see any sense in paying off a home that one only intends on living in for 5-10 years. Pay off your home in this situation is a gamble to me. Specifically if your home decreased in appraised value. Home appreciating in value is no longer a sure thing since 2008.


Well, unless you are going to walk away if the house is under water, I'm not sure why it is a gamble to pay it off.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

So you think it is best to pay the bank 10K so you can deduct 10K on your taxes and have reduced taxes of perhaps 4K? What does the bank do for you? Since you prefer paying the bank more vs. the government less?

Paying taxes is not so bad, it means I earned more.


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## mommyof4boys (Nov 9, 2015)

She should be happy you did that instead of going out there just spending money on nothing. A lot of people would have spent it on gambling, drugs negative stuff. What were her plans for the money? Do you not trust her? is that why you put money in a account in just your name? I am happy to see that there are some smart men out here that know how to spend money.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

did she tell you thanks? great job getting us out of debt and helping our son?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

technovelist said:


> Well, unless you are going to walk away if the house is under water, I'm not sure why it is a gamble to pay it off.


It is a gamble, IMO, as the house could loose value. If one pays his house note off at $400k and the home loses value down the road then at resale the owner has lost some money. A lot depends on the interest rate currently on the home, age of person on mortgage, etc. Some would have suggested investing the money instead of paying off the home. Sure, a home is an investment but we see it is at risk from predatory lending, bad loans and approving anyone for a home loan as demonstrated in 2008 with the bubble busting. IMO, a home is as risky as investing in the market. However, if your home is paid you will always have a roof over your head no matter the state of the economy. That is always good for a peace of mind.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Yeswecan said:


> It is a gamble, IMO, as the house could loose value. If one pays his house note off at $400k and the home loses value down the road then at resale the owner has lost some money. A lot depends on the interest rate currently on the home, age of person on mortgage, etc. Some would have suggested investing the money instead of paying off the home. Sure, a home is an investment but we see it is at risk from predatory lending, bad loans and approving anyone for a home loan as demonstrated in 2008 with the bubble busting. IMO, a home is as risky as investing in the market. However, if your home is paid you will always have a roof over your head no matter the state of the economy. That is always good for a peace of mind.


Yes, but if the owner doesn't pay off the house and sells it some day, then he is still out the same amount of money, as he will get that much less at closing. And he will still have had to pay interest on the loan as well.

Now it is true that if you have a non-recourse mortgage (as I do), that essentially gives you a free put option on the house at the amount left on the mortgage, because if the house is worth less than the mortgage you can walk away from it without penalty.

But even with that possible benefit, you are still paying interest on the loan until you pay it off. Can you earn more than your interest rate on investments elsewhere? If so, maybe paying off the mortgage is a bad idea.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Well I'm old fashioned - we only have joint accounts and the inheritances (from my wife's parents) went into an addition and the latest will go towards either outer mortgage, LOC or kids college next year. It's all the same pile of cash.

Good job OP - you done gud!

We routinely borrowed from our LOC annually to buy an IRA for my wife before she went into teaching (at age 50 btw) because it only cost about $3500 for a $5000 IRA when you consider the actual cash impact on taxes. You'll never find a better return than $1500 on $3500 invested in 1 second. Of course we're paying juice on the LOC but rates are ultra low.

Point is we are in a partnership and if sh*t happens we'll deal with it then. The truth is the decades of scrimping and saving will all go to her and some new dude unless medical technology advances and I am spared in the next several years due to unlucky happenstance. It never mattered to me anyway - never wanted much and always made lots of $$$ so go figure. Meanwhile there are many more people with too many wants and not enough $$$. It's all really a test  I've got amazing kids and an amazing wife do the money isn't important to me. Health would be nice too.


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## optimalprimus (Feb 4, 2015)

Yeswecan said:


> It is a gamble, IMO, as the house could loose value. If one pays his house note off at $400k and the home loses value down the road then at resale the owner has lost some money. A lot depends on the interest rate currently on the home, age of person on mortgage, etc. Some would have suggested investing the money instead of paying off the home. Sure, a home is an investment but we see it is at risk from predatory lending, bad loans and approving anyone for a home loan as demonstrated in 2008 with the bubble busting. IMO, a home is as risky as investing in the market. However, if your home is paid you will always have a roof over your head no matter the state of the economy. That is always good for a peace of mind.


They invested in the home's value at the time they bought it. That choice is gone. 
The choice now is to pay down this debt, other debt or invest in assets, or keep as cash, or spend on x y z. 

So it is the interest on the debt that matters, and the likely return on other assets.

And the tax implications. Crucially the tax implications...


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

FWIW, and I am a mere woman, I agree with the actions the OP took.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

BioFury said:


> "MY" money? Thats... a great team mentality. Maybe you ought to start referring to the house as "MY house", along with everything else. Really put her in her place.


Sorry, the home, the rental property, her new Lincoln, my classic Mustang convertible, my boat pulling truck, our loaner 4-wd truck, both of my boats...are all in OUR names, as well as our checking account, retirement, and all credit cards totally joint and have been for almost 50 years....I have under $10,000 in my account, for our vacations...


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

mommyof4boys said:


> She should be happy you did that instead of going out there just spending money on nothing. A lot of people would have spent it on gambling, drugs negative stuff. What were her plans for the money? Do you not trust her? is that why you put money in a account in just your name? I am happy to see that there are some smart men out here that know how to spend money.


She won't spend money on vacations, etc. So I kept some in a FUN account....

She has much more in our joint accounts, and handles all the bills...

We have spent about $35,000 in fixing up the house...Heat, air, roof, sofit, gutters, downspouts, appliances. reno'ed 2 baths, all new furniture, granite counter tops a handmade mantle and fireplace...It is her hobby....

She readily admits she has been denied nothing in our entire marriage...


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## optimalprimus (Feb 4, 2015)

flipflops said:


> Ugh! Why do spouses think they are entitled to their spouse's inheritance? My husband got a little money from his mom which he spent on family (washer/dryer and paid a few bills off). He didn't have to. I sure the heck appreciated that he did. Then he got a bit of money from his grandmother when she died. I was glad he spent it on himself. He bought himself a new motorcycle. We're in the process of divorce now, but I would never take that from him, even if a judge demanded it. Every time I see it in the garage it makes me happy that he did that. He even named it after her.
> 
> The OP went beyond his duties to pay off all of that stuff. His wife should be thrilled.


I have to say i can't understand the converse attitude.

When i stood up and made my vows, in front of my family, they understood that anything they do for me they eould now be doing for us.

I understand the need for the legal differences with inheritances, but in my marriage everything is shared. 

OP, you've been married 40ish years you say? If so, surely you would not consider this YOUR money.

That said I think you handled it v well, and paying off debt is almost always a good idea. Especially when you're older and your ability to repay debts from your future wages is diminished.

I don't intend to have any debt other than secured mortgage debt, and even that i want paid off before i hit 50. Inheritances will be a bonus, hopefully at a stage when we're already totally set.

Sent from my LG-H815 using Tapatalk


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## optimalprimus (Feb 4, 2015)

flipflops said:


> Entitled was the key word. I stand behind what I said. The person who got the inheritance should get to choose what they do with it. That's my personal opinion. When my husband got his, not once did I consider it mine. Yes, he shared it and that was his choice and I really appreciated it. Now, if it was the lottery, yes that should be shared. But, when it comes from someone's family, I feel differently.


That's the wonderful thing - we can all have different views about marriage and that's fine.

I expect my family to treat us like we are a single unit from the day we said our vows in front of them.

My wife wouldn't need to feel 'entitled' - everything that is mine is hers and vice versa.

Sent from my LG-H815 using Tapatalk


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

flipflops said:


> Entitled was the key word. I stand behind what I said. The person who got the inheritance should get to choose what they do with it. That's my personal opinion. When my husband got his, not once did I consider it mine. Yes, he shared it and that was his choice and I really appreciated it. Now, if it was the lottery, yes that should be shared. But, when it comes from someone's family, I feel differently.


Your opinion is the same as the laws. The inheritance is not common property in the marriage. It belongs to the person it is left. 

I inherited a good some. Purchased my W a pool of her choice. She had wanted a pool for years. I had the opportunity to fulfill her one of many desires in life. In came the backhoe. And truth be told, the pool we enjoy together and has brought us many afternoons of bonding time. Well worth it.


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