# Beginning to get bitter...



## Dawn Marie (Jul 2, 2012)

Just when I decided to start the 180 my husband gets his phone turned off! How in the world am I going to ignore him if he cant call? I had offered to pay for his phone if he would agree to call the kids each night. Today I checked our account and there was a pending amount which I assumed was his phone. My daughter called and he had paid the bill on my account. He talked with his son and then asked to speak to me. I was not cold, but uncaring of anything he said. I just asked for the amount he used (which was more than just the phone. he bought food too). He asked what was wrong and I told him nothing - im just listening. He then said he would pay me back and gave me his excuse for needing to use the account. I handed the phone to our daughter and he did not ask to talk again. I dont know if I did ok or not. I wanted to go off on him for being a using, neglectful, bipolar jerk, but I didnt. Now I can just feel the bitterness growing. I hate, hate, hate this feeling! Tomorrow I plan to empty the account and leave him a few bucks. I guess I should text him to let him know so he doesnt overdraw anything, but im not sure what to say. I dont think the 180 will work. Seems like its what he really does want...a final end to our marriage. Life sucks.
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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

I do not know your story.. but why do you still have a joint account?
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## Dawn Marie (Jul 2, 2012)

I just never closed it. When we seperated years ago he never took any money, then I closed it and we reconciled. It was a waste of time, money and checks. Guess I was holding out for a a chance to reconcile again. :/
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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

What is your whole story?


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Dawn Marie said:


> I just never closed it. When we seperated years ago he never took any money, then I closed it and we reconciled. It was a waste of time, money and checks. Guess I was holding out for a a chance to reconcile again. :/
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sorry Dawn Marie. Holding out for hope really is heart wrenching. I know, I've been doing it for 18 months. I can understand the bitterness. How long were you separated? I think the 180 is really meant for you to move on not to get him back. I wish I had more words of wisdom. Hang in there....do what you need to do for you.


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## Dawn Marie (Jul 2, 2012)

Married for almost 20 years. High school sweethearts. First seperation was 10 years ago when he left his family for a girl 10 years younger than me. It lasted less than a month. He was back a few weeks later. I forgave him and we did fine for a few more years. He was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder several years ago and also depression. He broke his back shortly after and has been out of work for over 3 years now. I supported the family with 3 jobs even though we have much debt. We started having problems when he quit taking his meds and replaced his pain meds with alcohol. He had a mental episode and went manic one night when I didnt bring him dinner home. Apparently I was never caring enough. He threatened to leave while he was busting holes in the door and I offered to help him pack. He left the next day after I left for work, taking almost everything with him. Boat, camper, truck...He did not talk to me for weeks. He moved 8 hours away to the beach and is living in his camper. No job. Just cleaning up to pay the rent. Odd jobs to get gas money and groceries. He invited me and the kids to visit a week ago. Seems to be enjoying his new life. He just keeps saying he is confused. He thinks he has done nothing wrong. Me and the kids are all to blame. And that is my pathetic story of love. Maybe if I recount it enough. I will eventually wise up and move on with my life. But I know I wont. Im probably a fool.
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