# Horny and need help!!!!!!!!



## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

Hi ladies,just joined the forum and need help,quick rundown,married for nearly 10 years,no kids,own home,husband was virgin when met but i had few sexual partners and ex husband.The sex is geting to be none existant with hubby,finally found out he is tired from work,very low self esteem and finally admitted e dont know how to start things of in bed.Im 45 in july and e is 6 years younger.He is a very shy person,who wont talk about sex where as i will.The sex is great when we do have it but allways seems to be at my instigation ,usually after weeks of no sex and my badgering him.Cheers for any advice.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Just spice things up, Lear a sexy note, picture, something to get him thinking about it so that he will instigate. Don't bager, that's a turnoff and has the reverse effect of what you want. Ask questions, desires he has, concerns? Favorites, talking can be arousing and get him thinking about it. Make sure low t isn't an issue. But don't badger....my husband used to do that and the more he badgered the less I thought about it and the less I wanted it.
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## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

He did have a undescended testicle operated on when younger about age 4 but parents say doc at the time said would be no problem in later life,e also got very low sperm count,that and my PCOS is reason we not got kids.I know e does DIY when im out,prob not as much as i imagine,just makes mad,how e says e loves me yet i cant turn him on


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

He is DIY but not with you? That would tick me off if I was being turned down....maybe he wants something different? Like different positions, times of the day.....have you talked to him at a non arousal time about it, what does he say?
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## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

I am 99% sure e is doing it when im not around,positions arent the problem,e knows i dont mind trying things if e suggested them.The first night we met i gave him a BJ in an alleyway,prob scared him senceless,then the first time we had sex we was at it for 3 hours.It was his first ever time,so i was amazed.After that it was whnever we was alone as both lived with parents. But again things where good,real good as he knew al the theory just not met right one for practical.We moved into a flat,and things dropped off a bit,very thin wals,e was travelling 25 miles a day to work,knackered etc o i understood,few months down the line and it was down to sex at weekend.Occasionally i would be woken during the night being cuddled and one thing led to another but not often.Then after 4 years we moved into our own house and was promised sex in every room,e would be less tired as less ttraveling,and things did improve a bit,then e started coming within about ten mins,we had words,argumens talks you name it,sex went off for a bit again but still prety regular compared to now.Now its got to the stage where we cuddle but no sex and when we do e finishes first and even though im the one who prob wants it more once e finished im still wanting.Then as i say im sure he does it himself when im not around so e dont want it as often.E works shifts so timing is awkward as well as e working till 3am or up at 5am.Eis very shy when it comes to talking about emotions and sex,we usually end up arguing,or e changes the subject or dont se that there is a problem.Ive told him all the info to get on this forum so e can now read all the pages.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I guess you will find out how important it is to him since you told him about it. I am sort of in the same boat itch waiting to see what is important to my spouse after letting him know what is important to me. Maybe others will have some more advice for you.
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## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

Thanks for replying,As i said i have PCOS which means i have probs with periods and getting pregnant,as well as this it makes me put on weight and feel low about myself,it also means i have a higher than normal testosterone so in a way we eqal out.My ex husband was never interested in sex so this adds to prob with my new husband.I just get mad that we have no kids,own place and both under 45 allthough only just in my case so to my mind should be at it like rabbits,or at least couple times a week,yet its more like once every few months at my instigation.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Why don't you instigate more often?


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## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

fed up of getting rejected


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Queen Charlie said:


> Hi ladies,just joined the forum and need help,quick rundown,married for nearly 10 years,no kids,own home,husband was virgin when met but i had few sexual partners and ex husband.The sex is geting to be none existant with hubby,finally found out he is tired from work,very low self esteem and finally admitted e dont know how to start things of in bed.Im 45 in july and e is 6 years younger.He is a very shy person,who wont talk about sex where as i will.The sex is great when we do have it but allways seems to be at my instigation ,usually after weeks of no sex and my badgering him.Cheers for any advice.


First of all my hats off to you. Many men out there would kill for a woman with your drive. 

Have your man tested for low testosterone. Also consider going for walks or some exercise. It tends to "loosen things up". 

Also consider taking showers together and some foreplay?


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## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

Thanks sanity,think its the PCOS that makes it ok,the hormones get mixed up and got more male than female.He has said that e will look on friday at this site,his day off,i hope e does as e will realise that e is not the only man with this and there is help out there if e wants it which i think e does.He is a wonderfull husband in every other way and i love him to pieces,e just finds sex and talking about it embarrasing so we arent getting the full potential out of our married life together.All said and done e is my husband for life,sex or no sex.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Are you British?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

Yeah Why?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Queen Charlie said:


> Yeah Why?


Probably because your posting style is the first time a Brit accent has ever come across in text to me.


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## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

ooh weird,never heard that before,i know relatives take mickey as i allways spell thing right or use proper abbreviations even on texts.


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## Queen Charlie (Apr 28, 2012)

Hi ladies and gents,well hubby is now taking iron tablets and last week we had sex TWICE,the first time i texd him as e was still in bed as on lates and said didi e fancy a snuggle cuggle,a cup of tea and me or me and the boys 9 our two dogs) e said yes yes and yes but just me,well i took him a cuppa up and got back into bed,we had the usual morning chit chat and then e started feeling me up,e the brought me to orgasm with his fingers and then we had sex,i was amazedand just said THATS HOW YOU START THINGS OFF.A few days later i sent the same message and again got the same reply,so off i went again and this time i gave him a BJ and allthough we didnt have full sex,u know what it diidnt matter as it was me who had turned him on,and not just me getting into bed and him allready being hard or turning me away as usual.E is on mornings now and so its early bed and early rise,but we are both off work next week and away on holidays,lets just hope mother nature dont do her monthly trick,but even if she does,you know what,it dont matter.We have a lifetime to snuggle cuggle.


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