# There's no getting past this, is there?



## berlin292 (Dec 18, 2012)

Below is just a sample of the emails I found that proved my wife was having an affair. I suspected it for months, then finally found a slew of emails. 

We did counseling for a year. She insisted the whole way that "it was more of just a friendship." Right. Of course this exchange shows: 1. That's BS. 2. They met each other during the day when I was at work. 3. I took my wife to the Cuban place, that was supposed to be a date night, and then she gets home and tells him she wants to take him there.

I'm in the process of moving out. It's the only option I have, don't you think?

(L is the biatch, N is me. C is my kid. Chris is the douche bag OM. July 28 was a Thursday, when I was working and he was supposed to be at work)



On Jul 28, 2011 7:08 PM, L wrote: 
Hi. Thinking of today. Us. How nice it was. Not sure how long N was in the kitchen listening to pod cast? I was looking out C's window. Didnt see his car. 
Really great day. 
I love you very much Chris 

From: Chris; 
To: L>; 
Subject: Re: 
Sent: Thu, Jul 28, 2011 
Very very very very nice.


On Jul 28, 2011, at 7:23 PM, L wrote:
Even more than that. Hard to describe. Perfect summer day. Well, maybe a bit better with bikes or bathing suits 



From: Chris >; 
To: Ll; 
Subject: Re: Re: 
Sent: Thu, Jul 28, 2011 
I love you L. You are incredible.

On Jul 28, 2011, L wrote:

> I think you are pretty incredible too.


----- Forwarded Message -----
From: Chris >
To: L > 
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

It only matters to hear you say it.


On Jul 28, 2011, L wrote:
I love you Chris. More and more if it's possible 


From: Chris>; 
To: L>; 
Subject: Re: Re: Re: 
Sent: Fri, Jul 29, 2011 
I'm so happy. Thank you beautiful. I love you. 

On Jul 28, 2011, Lau > wrote:
>> 
>>> I'm very happy too. 
>>> Very happy you are in my life. 
>>> Very happy you are a big part of it. 
>>> Very much in love with you and to also know you feel that way about me too.


On Jul 28, 2011, L wrote:
Thank you for giving me today. 
The thing I value more than anything else is spending time with you. 
I love you. 


On Jul 29, 2011, L wrote:
Hi. Just returned from dinner at Habanos. Cuban place. Ate way too much. Want to take you there when we have the chance. 
I miss you so much Chris. 
I'm ready for a nap, being in your arms, kisses. Maybe snoring, if I get to kiss you more 
Hope you guys have a nice dinner. 



----- Forwarded Message -----
From: Chris >
To: L > 
Sent: Friday, July 29, 2011 11:45 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
I need you. 


From: Chris >; 
To: L >; 
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 
Sent: 
It hurts L. 

On Jul 29, 2011, L wrote:
It does. Very very much.


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## raging_pain (Dec 8, 2012)

ouch.. sorry man, that hurts


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

> On Jul 29, 2011, L wrote:
> It does. Very very much.


Yeah, prophetic - 

If they 'loved' each other so much - I assume they're finally together in bliss now. Now she has to pick up *his *smelly socks, wash out his streaked underwear. Kiss his morning breath. 
Oh yeah they're going to be soooo sooo happy. 

How do you keep your blood pressure down, cause mine shot up a few points and I don't even know this creature.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Reminds me of this

PART 1: WH and OW–Our Love is Real « Soul Mate Shmoopies

They won't last a year.


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## berlin292 (Dec 18, 2012)

They haven't lasted at all! He's still with his wife and kids. They're still in counseling. My $lutty wife can have him - he's cheated on his wife a few times, and punched her in the face a few months ago.

My idiot wife was married once before -- to an alcoholic (google "Taking Fog to Nantucket) who run up thousands on the credit cards and disappeared. She hit the jackpot when she married me. I do think she has some kind of mental health issue, bi-polar or whatever, but she won't do therapy or even consider that maybe something is wrong. I've had enough at this point.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Any contact info for OM's BW?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Make sure finances are separated and joint credit cards are cancelled asap! No need in supporting this bs.


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## berlin292 (Dec 18, 2012)

3putt said:


> Any contact info for OM's BW?


I called her 2 minutes after I discovered the emails. I had suspected the affair for months, so had her cell on speed dial. Was just texting with her now. We check in once in a while to compare notes.

What I should do is send that email chain to her parents....


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

berlin292 said:


> I called her 2 minutes after I discovered the emails. I had suspected the affair for months, so had her cell on speed dial. Was just texting with her now. We check in once in a while to compare notes.
> 
> What I should do is send that email chain to her parents....


Do it.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

berlin292 said:


> I called her 2 minutes after I discovered the emails. I had suspected the affair for months, so had her cell on speed dial. Was just texting with her now. We check in once in a while to compare notes.
> 
> What I should do is send that email chain to her parents....


Do it now!


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Why are you moving out. Toss her cheating ass on the street.

But separate finances so she cannot touch your money before you do anything. Cancel all joint credit cards. Let her have her fantasy life with the man she loves - but make her foot the bill - not you.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Send it to them and add that the man she is cheating with is a known serial cheater and wife beater. Ask them to pressure their daughter to get therapy because obviously she has problems. It almost sounds to me that she is attracted to abusive men.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

TDSC60 said:


> Why are you moving out. Toss her cheating ass on the street.
> 
> But separate finances so she cannot touch your money before you do anything. Cancel all joint credit cards. Let her have her fantasy life with the man she loves - but make her foot the bill - not you.


:iagree: completely


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

No one is perfect but no one is THAT imperfect (WW). The question you pose in your title...No way. Do yourself a big favor. She is into being recycled. Vent through exposure. You will recover. Although we are all damaged in some way or another, she's way too damaged and will take years to hit bottom, admit and begin self-repair. That's too many years of sorrow awaiting you.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Toss her out, and cut off all money and credit. Do not leave your house.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Berlin,

I feel your pain. My wife, I discovered was a serial cheater. I found out during her last affair. I caught her with emails between her and her AP (lover). These emails are sexually graphic and in addition she talks about me as some one that she after 30 years has never build any relationship with (no partnership). 

The point... She is not the person you married. She is a vile imposter that has invaded her soul. Do not let her words alter or change who you really are. Cheater are not worth the effort. Take stock in yourself. You are the honest, trusting person. Stay true and only speak the truth.


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## berlin292 (Dec 18, 2012)

RWB said:


> Berlin,
> 
> I feel your pain. My wife, I discovered was a serial cheater. I found out during her last affair. I caught her with emails between her and her AP (lover). These emails are sexually graphic and in addition she talks about me as some one that she after 30 years has never build any relationship with (no partnership).
> 
> The point... She is not the person you married. She is a vile imposter that has invaded her soul. Do not let her words alter or change who you really are. Cheater are not worth the effort. Take stock in yourself. You are the honest, trusting person. Stay true and only speak the truth.


Really good advice. I've spent the last year working to be and even better father to my two daughters. I talk to them about feelings and emotions all the time. My older daughter used to refuse to hug anyone. Now she does so with ease. Just the other day the two girls said "I love you" to each other - a HUGE step for them. And it's all because of the coaching and encouragement I've given them.

You are right. Something happened to my wife. Some chemical change or something, but she's not the person I married. She's so out of touch with reality. She still thinks the affair was just a friendship and that I'm blowing it out of proportion.

Sounds like you're situation was very similar. Hope you've gotten past it and started a new, better life. I'm trying to do that now.


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## berlin292 (Dec 18, 2012)

RightfulRiskTaker said:


> No one is perfect but no one is THAT imperfect (WW). The question you pose in your title...No way. Do yourself a big favor. She is into being recycled. Vent through exposure. You will recover. Although we are all damaged in some way or another, she's way too damaged and will take years to hit bottom, admit and begin self-repair. That's too many years of sorrow awaiting you.


That's exactly the conclusion I came to -- she's too damaged and it will take her years to hit bottom. We did counseling for a year, and then I had my 50th birthday and there was no gift and no card from her. That was the last straw. If she couldn't even do something nice for my birthday -- my 50th! -- then there was no hope. I haven't moved out of the house but I have a lawyer and an apartment. I've cut off the money. I just have to get her to sign a 50-50 custody agreement, and I can move out and be rid of her.


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## berlin292 (Dec 18, 2012)

Harken Banks said:


> Sorry, man. You have read the stories here. Trying to put it back together is harder than the renting apart. Children?


Yes, girls 11 and 14. My apartment is 100 yards from house. I'm hoping that will make it easy for them. I want 50-50 custody so they will have to sleep at my place 3-4 times a week.


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