# Financially and emotionally dependent parents-in-law



## ayumi2018 (Feb 19, 2018)

Hi there,
I'm married to my husband for 3 years and have 10 months daughter.
I don't know how to deal with my own anxiety about my marriage and would like everyone's advise.
My mother-in-law is living 10 minutes away from our house with her 3rd husband. Both she and her husband is working for a company of my husband.
They are all from Latin America and have a very strong boundary, and what makes me afraid is that the boundary looks TOO much for me.
My MIL is a very dependent on men, especially my husband who is her oldest son, and even her husband thinks that it's my husband's role to take care of her.
I don't think my MIL and her husband both have enough savings nor insurance for their retirement, because she asked (even ordered ) my husband to loan money for his stepbrother's college.
When my husband told her that he had to ask me first since he's married, she got very mad. 
She barely have any language skills exept Spanish so she always ask my husband or me for help (even though she's been in this country for almost 20 years)
There are many small things like this and now that makes me wonder:
She's now 50 y/o and can't even make her own life without my husband already and her husband doesn't seem like a man enough to take care of his own wife. What happens when they turns like 70 or 80?
They always say "family must help each other" and for me they simply look dependent. This is completely opposite of my parents, who always tell me that they have enough preparation so that I can live my own life.
(Of course I think me and my husband have to help them if they REALLY need it, but why can't his parents at least try/make effort for their own future? )

To be honest, I personally think it's not a good idea for my husband to hire his mom because she is making trouble with other employees. And also hiring her makes her think my husband can take care of her whenever she likes.
Maybe I shouldn't tell him not to hire his mom since it's about his company, not mine. But I want to have some space between us and his family. I don't want his family to interfere our life in the future because of their dependence/negligence. How can I tell my feelings to my husband without hurting him? Please please help!


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