# Seems way more women cheat than men?



## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

Just from viewing this forum, it seems to be a far higher amount of wives are cheating than husbands. Certainly puts the stereotypical view of men to bed dosnt it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Historically, it's been the other way around. More men than women...however, I do believe that statistically speaking, women are catching up.

Who knows for sure tho? It seems that stereotypically, cheating is more of a guy thing. In some cultures, it's expected/accepted...for a man to have a mistress...


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

Yeah but it seems in reality, on this forum anyway, there seems to be a lot more women cheating than men, it's certainly not 50/50 on this site. Makes you wonder
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

its 50/50 in my book always has been always will be!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

It's hard to go by this forum; I've been here a year, and have seen things sway a lot...


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

It annoys me that men are viewed as the more likely cheaters, when in fact it's the other way around, let's face it, it's way easier for a women to get attention from the opposite sex
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

mestalla guy said:


> Just from viewing this forum, it seems to be a far higher amount of wives are cheating than husbands. Certainly puts the stereotypical view of men to bed dosnt it
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't think so. They EASILY COULD, as any woman can get laid at any time, if that is what she is looking for. TAM is probably a biased sample in many ways.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

Vanton68 said:


> I don't think so. They EASILY COULD, as any woman can get laid at any time, if that is what she is looking for. TAM is probably a biased sample in many ways.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah o totally agree with you, of a women wants to get with someone she can, very easily, takes no effort on their part, but then does that prove that us men will go with anything and that we are easy, making us more likely to cheat? Tough one
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Infidelity, both emotional as well as physical, is not really exclusive to either gender. I agree with the premise that historically, the greater percentage of cheating has been moreso with the male persona. But with the advent of the various social media/networking devices, i. e., cellphone, internet, et. al.; and richly given that women are so more socially adept in seeking to satisfy their primordial emotions so much more than men are; that not only have women caught up in that respect, that truth be known, they may have actually surpassed their male counterparts in that particular endeavor!


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

If you look at the stats men are still more likely to cheat, but women are catching up.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

are we only talking physical or emotional as well?

I still think its 50/50 

In my mind its more of a moral compass kind of thing, some people have broken compasses. and it dosen't seem gender spacific.


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

Men cheat because of opportunity, women cheat whenever the heck they decide
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

this claim has been made before and at the time I actually counted the front page of CWI (discounted discussion threads like this), the stats were somewhere along the lines of 33 men cheaters to 32 female cheaters but the average amount of responses to the female cheating threads was thrice that of male cheating


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

Just seemed a bit overwhelming reading to first 3 pages on this forum, nearly every thread was about a cheating wife, nowhere near 50/50. Seems us men should start thinking twice before getting married
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Baffled01 (Mar 14, 2012)

mestalla guy said:


> Just from viewing this forum, it seems to be a far higher amount of wives are cheating than husbands. Certainly puts the stereotypical view of men to bed dosnt it
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That was my view also, having been here for a few months now. Still-- most researchers are saying men cheat more. But I think what you see on this forum is what is going on in the world--right now, the cutting edge, the latest and greatest. It may not yet be reflected in the latest polls or studies. The tide is definetly changing.


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

Baffled01 said:


> That was my view also, having been here for a few months now. Still-- most researchers are saying men cheat more. But I think what you see on this forum is what is going on in the world--right now, the cutting edge, the latest and greatest. It may not yet be reflected in the latest polls or studies. The tide is definetly changing.


Yeah I agree, I think it's most certainly more women these days, this forum is proof of that. A lot of men are being made a fool of these days, although I am confident my girlfriend hasn't cheated I now don't want to get married to her, must be something programmed in womens heads
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

mestalla guy said:


> Just from viewing this forum, it seems to be a far higher amount of wives are cheating than husbands. Certainly puts the stereotypical view of men to bed dosnt it
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes. the latest reputable stats show that women are cheating at an equal or higher rate to men.

Also, there are some studies that show that women are better at hiding the affair. 

In my case the OW, was very sweet to her spouse. He never had a clue she was and is extremely unhappy with him. 

She complains about his fat hairy body, the fact that he is boring, works too much, dresses less than GQ and on and on. 

Even when he was apprised of the affair, and offered to meet to see hard evidence, she denied it and he believed it because he said nothing had changed at home.


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

They always have to be honest, just been under the radar.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

You could be right. However, it has to be borne in mind that this is a relationship forum, and by definition the people here are here because of relationship problems - past or present. I don't think this community is necessarily a reflection of the population as a whole.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I think what you are failing to realize that some male cheating is harder to catch due to the availability of prostitution/massage parlors/strip joints with extras that is mostly available to men only.

research escort review message boards and you'll see mostly married men using those sites.


Now it's true that men can get caught using these services but it is a lot easier to hide when they only use them at opportune times to get some strange with a quick transaction with little correspondence. (no constant texting for example)


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

mestalla guy said:


> It annoys me that men are viewed as the more likely cheaters, when in fact it's the other way around, let's face it, it's way easier for a women to get attention from the opposite sex
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why should it annoy you? Everything I've ever read about those kinds of statistics put the men ahead of the women in that area. Not to mention the simplest lesson in human biology; the males are simply trying to ensure they spread their genes. As you know, a single man can create far more offspring than can a single female...

And these days, in North American, I'm certain that the numbers are pretty even....just going by what I know about the real people around me in my own life, not some stat.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I don't know what the statistics are, but I bet more women talk about it then men. They feel more guilty I presume. Anyways, I'm only guessing. I'm not a cheater, but I have been cheated on by my ex h.


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I don't know what the statistics are, but I bet more women talk about it then men. They feel more guilty I presume. Anyways, I'm only guessing. I'm not a cheater, but I have been cheated on by my ex h.


Not sure bout that, I would say men are likely to brag to their buddies about anything to do with sex, women do just the same though
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

worldwide $108 billion/ year spent on prostitution

do you really think most Johns are single?


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## Baffled01 (Mar 14, 2012)

mestalla guy said:


> Just seemed a bit overwhelming reading to first 3 pages on this forum, nearly every thread was about a cheating wife, nowhere near 50/50. Seems us men should start thinking twice before getting married
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Exactly what I am telling my single male friends, and young sons-- don't get married until more equitable divorce laws are made. It's unfortunate, but there is simple too much for a husband to lose these days. For a wife, you can upgrade your man, get rid of your husband, get custody of kids and generous child support, and maybe even a little alimony too boot.

I mean--WHY NOT CHEAT!

There are no negative consequences for wives thinking of cheating, only their moral compass which in most cases is not enough.

This forum is tough on ALL cheaters as it should be-- men and women alike. But other forums and many daytime talk shows tend to give the cheating wife a 'get out of jail free card', because she wasn't getting something she needed from her husband. For many women this is a license to cheat, and that is why I think this epidemic of cheating women is going to get much, much worse until we reverse this mindset.

Cheating is cheating. It's a decision a spouse makes, and it is as wrong and hurtful when a wife does it, as it is when a husband does it. NO EXCUSES.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> worldwide $108 billion/ year spent on prostitution
> 
> do you really think most Johns are single?


Or that women are out there hiring male prostitutes? Why would we? It's soooo easy for US to get laid whenever we choose! :rofl:


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Or that women are out there hiring male prostitutes? Why would we? It's soooo easy for US to get laid whenever we choose! :rofl:


Al joking aside, it is easier for women, you can't deny that? Like I said men will literally go with anything, women to their credit are more picky
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

Baffled01 said:


> Exactly what I am telling my single male friends, and young sons-- don't get married until more equitable divorce laws are made. It's unfortunate, but there is simple too much for a husband to lose these days. For a wife, you can upgrade your man, get rid of your husband, get custody of kids and generous child support, and maybe even a little alimony too boot.
> 
> I mean--WHY NOT CHEAT!
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_. 


Agree with you 100%


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Baffled01 said:


> Exactly what I am telling my single male friends, and young sons-- don't get married until more equitable divorce laws are made. It's unfortunate, but there is simple too much for a husband to lose these days. For a wife, you can upgrade your man, get rid of your husband, get custody of kids and generous child support, and maybe even a little alimony too boot.


do you really think any cheater, male or female, gives much consideration to divorce laws as to whether or not they will cheat?

not much if at all


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I'm done

I'm really tired of fighting this crap


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> do you really think any cheater, male or female, gives much consideration to divorce laws as to whether or not they will cheat?
> 
> not much if at all


Maybe not, but the point is the law favours the women no matter who's fault it was, and that's just not fair
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

mestalla guy said:


> Al joking aside, *it is easier for women*, you can't deny that? Like I said men will literally go with anything, women to their credit are more picky
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Maybe if I decided to 'go with anything'...but I don't, can't, have never just gone with anything.

And if men will literally go with anything (this statement dismays me a great deal), then what you're really saying is that it's easier for men!

But I'm done debating this, too. Best wishes.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

When I was stung with my ex W's infidelity, a sheet was pulled from over my eyes and it revealed a massive pattern I can't believe I didn't see before... I had always presumed that women were wired to be monogomous and faithful and that men were wired to be promiscuous and that over time this remained stable. Now I see in fact the opposite is just as true, and I think social influence has kept a lot false perceptions alive.

Women tend to be the gatekeepers, and there are three ways to open the gate (on the macro level) love, money or force and our laws largely prohibit/restrict men from using force/money. So in that regard it is easier for an attached woman seeking an affair to find a partner when she's looking just for sex, or uses sex to seek love, and I think it is also where social influence comes into play too - I mean women universally agree that the media has negatively affected women's idea of their body image, well I believe it has also harmed women's perception of their sexual/emotional worth.

In the current western culture I believe women have a much higher possibility of being sexually unfaithful than men, and I believe it is trending up and is very destructive to the idea of a nuclear family.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> worldwide $108 billion/ year spent on prostitution
> 
> do you really think most Johns are single?


IMO, I agree, that men may get caught less if they cheat with a prostitute. 

Although my STBEH if he were only caught getting sex from a prostitute, IMO, that would be easier to get past. 

He had a full blown ea/pa

Reputable studies show those affairs on either side have the highest rate of marital failure. 

The latest reputable studies from universities that do such studies, and polls from women's magazines say that woman are cheating a very high rate.

They do it for attention from another male who may be older and more abel to have free time and spend money on them

Also, many women cheat to find a replacement without ruining their present lifestyles


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

Good post Lon, agree with you, opts a shame. It's put me off ever getting married and I'm starting to wonder if there is even any point in being faithful anymore, don't know
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

mestalla guy said:


> Yeah I agree, I think it's most certainly more women these days, this forum is proof of that. A lot of men are being made a fool of these days, although I am confident my girlfriend hasn't cheated I now don't want to get married to her, must be something programmed in womens heads
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That is more than a little silly. Should a woman not have gotten married 50 years ago becuase cheating was programmed into men's heads?

The problem with looking at these forums is the selection bias.

I suspect that more men come here to keep their identity hidden due to embarassment, as well as likely having a smaller social and support network. I know that my wife has more friends to turn to if I cheated than I would if she cheated. 

Plus, she would get sympathy and I would be branded an @$$, while many men fear be labeled a wimp or question what they did wrong when it is the other way. Certainly not all, but enough that forums like this are consdiered a better place to turn for many men.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

mestalla guy said:


> Yeah I agree, I think it's most certainly more women these days, this forum is proof of that. A lot of men are being made a fool of these days, although I am confident my girlfriend hasn't cheated I now don't want to get married to her, must be something programmed in womens heads
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Your grasp of statistics is tenuous at best.


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Your grasp of statistics is tenuous at best.


I'm not really that bothered about stats, I'm going off what I'm reading on this forum, and like another poster has said, perhaps this forum dosnt represent the truth in that regard.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

The point is, does it really matter? Cheating is cheating, and whether it's more men or more women - we have to ask ourselves, who are they cheating with? Single people....?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

mestalla guy said:


> Good post Lon, agree with you, opts a shame. It's put me off ever getting married and I'm starting to wonder if there is even any point in being faithful anymore, don't know
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Divorce, historically as an institution, was almost next to impossible to obtain. The laws governing it were greatly offering protection to the biblical and most holy institution of marriage.

Now as society and social mores seem to be ever-changing, it is by far easier to obtain, but conversely is even more costly than ever before! Using that as a barometer, I can envision the future as something where marriage vows will soon become comparatively flippant to the point that there won't be any more binding vows.

It will richly become a system that a couple may well acknowledge each other as their married or cohabiting spouses through a simple civil or church ceremony; but to get a divorce all they'll have to do is pony up a said amount tantamount to the going rate set by the divorce lawyers lobby, in order for that industry to richly thrive whereby those folks can continue to put food on their tables.

I see a totally dismal future for the future of the institution of marriage and greatly see the portals ever-widening to soon proliferate infidelity to unheralded proportions.

In essence, society is no longer family-centered; it is now "me"-centered! 

God save us all!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I am glad that this message board and maybe others like it, demonstrate that men do acknowledge Emotional Affairs and how damaging that they can be to a relationship.

since I was married in the 90s, it's possible that my alpha male husband refused to see it that way, and his courtly behaviour and consideration to his friends' wives and others should never have any bearing on our relationship.

One of the wisdoms that I have learned working through these relationships that orbit around the primary committed exclusive relationship is that the other relationships cannot happen in a vacuum. 

of course, when things are fine, we don't think about it. but as soon as some long time female friend or female co-worker who thinks she has standing in her colleague's personal life or just some female acquaintance who likes getting off on the thought that she's getting better treatment than the wife is, if the husband doesn't get back in control of these relationships and behave like a married man, well, then there are problems ahead. And it's places like here where you hear about them..

I'm a woman.....so if you men want us to know what an EA looks like as the cuckolded husband, please let us know of your experiences.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Rethink your thread title and how you want to approach the discussion and we'll consider reopening.


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