# Question for WS who re-marry:



## Alyosha (Feb 27, 2012)

What explanation did you give your current partner for why your marriage ended -- the full truth or some sort of "we grew apart" or "we weren't making each other happy" bs?

If it's the latter, are you ever worried that the truth will come out eventually?

Thanks.


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## Alyosha (Feb 27, 2012)

No responses.

Not surprising.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There are not many WS here. There are even fewer who have remarried. 

So it might be a numbers things.

Plus many people work during the day. Maybe some will show up later.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Threads move off the first two pages very quickly as well. You need to keep your thread near the top to get it noticed.


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

Most cheaters end up getting married or moving in with their AP's, I'd like to think, so not much explanation needed on that page.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Most cheaters do not end up with the AP's. Only 3% of affairs end up as long term relationships.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

My dad and one of my good friends both married their APs. In my dad's case, no explanation was needed. He moved from the family home into the home of the OW. 

My friend... His marriage was a mess, got involved with OW, who at one point broke things off, telling him that he needed to finish things off with W before they could continue. He did, and then he and the OW re-connected and got married 5 years later.


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Most cheaters do not end up with the AP's. Only 3% of affairs end up as long term relationships.


I suppose that's because they cheat on each other too..


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Well I for one am going to be mightily fascinated how my very stbxw explains away her behaviour of the last ten years to whoever her next live in partner husband is 

Trouble is we as betrayed spouses like to think anybody like us getting together with the ex will hear this or that from her past and instantly think "you wont be doing any of that with me"

However the truth I think is nearer to this - most people have no experience of infidelity in a 'live' sense and do not see or want to see the red flags that someone like my ex will have flying high above her head so she will get away with not having to explain much 

...although should he at any point ask me about anything from the past I suspect he'll leave her within two days !! :smthumbup:


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

There's a whole slew of men and women out there who have the impression that "they are different" and nobody would ever want to cheat on them. My ex found at least seven.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

verpin zal said:


> I suppose that's because they cheat on each other too..


It's because their relationship was founded on fantasy. Once cold reality hit the unicorn horns melt. It doesn't help that they both have to reconcile that their partner is as big a cheat as they are. 

Hamsters can only run so long...


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## mamabear131617 (Oct 5, 2013)

My stbx told me they cheated on each other, which was true. What he didn't tell me was she eventually kicked him out because he was so controlling and possessive and the cheating was just the tip of the iceberg. I guess I thought it would be different with me, I was wrong.


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## Alyosha (Feb 27, 2012)

Headspin said:


> Well I for one am going to be mightily fascinated how my very stbxw explains away her behaviour of the last ten years to whoever her next live in partner husband is
> 
> Trouble is we as betrayed spouses like to think anybody like us getting together with the ex will hear this or that from her past and instantly think "you wont be doing any of that with me"
> 
> ...


I, like you, have a morbid fascination with exactly what she tells others about why her marriage ended. From rumors I've heard through the grape vine it runs the gamut from "we didn't make each other happy" to "he's [me] a nutjob." Strangely enough it has never been: "I started ****ing a rich guy I met at the gym and told hundreds and hundreds of lies to hide it for over a year."


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Alyosha said:


> I, like you, have a morbid fascination with exactly what she tells others about why her marriage ended. From rumors I've heard through the grape vine it runs the gamut from "we didn't make each other happy" to "he's [me] a nutjob." Strangely enough it has never been: "I started ****ing a rich guy I met at the gym and told hundreds and hundreds of lies to hide it for over a year."


hehehe

yes I think you'll find their ability to use selective memory is at an all time high when getting together with the next real 'live in' partner

I do look forward to hearing the shvt she'll be using to explain away her serial cheating and the fact that they are all still in her life as 'friends' 

Should be fun


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I do know that my skanky XW did not end up with either of her romantic OMen love interests. One shook her off immediately while the one who did get involved with her, pulled up stakes and ended up moving out of state!

At this juncture, I don't even know if she's seeing anyone, and furthermore, I could give a rat's a$$!

I'd really be forced to surmise that a WS who ends up marrying their AP is greatly the exception much rather than the rule!*


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## thebadguy (Dec 7, 2012)

Having anonymity of sorts here and being a WS and being a BS...and being occasionally abused by that same woman, I think it is safe to say that all of that stuff will come up if I ever start dating someone...that is if I ever divorce her in the first place. 

The stories of those events will be colored with my experience, not hers. And perhaps it makes a difference that I do not see myself as a serial cheater. I don't think my future intimate relationship have to be defined by the carnage of the last 4+ years. Perhaps the experience will even make me a better partner.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"From rumors I've heard through the grape vine it runs the gamut from "we didn't make each other happy" to "he's [me] a nutjob." Strangely enough it has never been: "I started ****ing a rich guy I met at the gym and told hundreds and hundreds of lies to hide it for over a year." 

The best cure for this is total exposure to friends and family, as well as posting the cheater on sites like Cheaterville.

Chances are that eventually the truth will be exposed, though I'm sure she will gaslight and blameshift to try and excuse her actions.

But I understand the desire to protect your own reputation and have the truth known.

I wouldn't want to be known for a pack of lies either.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

My exBIL married his mistress. And they are still together 13 years on......

I recently picked up my divorce decree so that I can remarry. I did mention the third party there.....my fiance has been nice not to ask me about it..... But I do wonder when my exH remarried, did his wife to be wanted to know who this second lady mentioned on the divorce decree was...... I guess I'll never know.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

I guess the question begs: Do you really care?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Regret214 said:


> I guess the question begs: Do you really care?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why do you ask?


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

My MIL married her OM, and her sister brought her OM to the wedding as a date.. She later cheated on him, he's in therapy but she's not. 

It's a good show, lets the world know that they understand what a wedding is all about, and what vows mean.. She wore a white dress of course.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> Why do you ask?


I guess I should have quoted the OP as I was not responding to your post. I'm sorry if it seemed so.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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