# finally have my life back, but dont know if i can do it anymore



## addie

i had posted someithing a couple months ago aboutr my husband leaving me while i was 4 months pregnant. while he was gone he started dating another girl. he says nothing happened with her, but i talked to her and she says that something did happen but she wasnt gonna tell me details. she said i needed to ask him. when i did ask him he said thye only kissed. im not sure if i believe that or not. anyway when our troubles started and he left me, i had to make a decision to leave the state i was in for my hometown so i could get the support i needed during my pregnancy and with my 2 yr old daughter. a few days before i left he told me his grandma was sick and was taking a leave of absence from work to travel home with us. he still had no plans to reconcile things with me at all. the day before we packed to leave he actually asked me to forget about the nightmare that had happened the last couple months and leave it behind inthe state of virginia. well that same night he was emailing his little girlfriend askingher to wait on him and telling her how much he wanted to be with her and how he loved her. she told him she wasnt gonna wait on him that he was asking to much of her. within the next few days i am not sure what happened but by the end of long drive and trip he told me he wanted to work on our marriage and asked if i would be able to forget about everything that happened and just put it behind us. and from that moment on things have been pretty good. except for one thing. i still dont know what happened while he was gone. forgiving is alot to ask me to do when i am not sure exactly what happened. i need to know what happened, why it happened, and why he left in first place. all of this is hauntingme and making me miserable. i am now 8 months pregnant and dont have much time to figure this out. what should i do. i really need advice.


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## PreludeCkN

From my experience, admitting that he had an affair it a big step. If he wants to work things out he should fully apologize for his actions. You have to FORGIVE him is you want to work things out. If you don't then you will be filled with resentment, bitterness, and anger. Is this truly what you want? He should stop all contact with the other woman begin to show you he truly wants to work on your marriage. Seek help, counseling, therapists, pastor, books, God, do not rely on just yourselves, there has been too much damage and you need professionals. 

Also, I strongly suggest that you DONT find out about any details because knowing this will hurt you more. Knowing what they did, where they went, what they shared, will only drive you mad. 

I am speaking from experience. 

I hope it all works out in your favor. God Bless.


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## addie

he never admitted to cheating on me. i called the girl myself just a few weeks after he left me. i asked her adn she told me she thought our marriage was over. of course i laughed in her face bc a 21 yr old girl is old enough to know that when you are married with a child at home and a pregnant wife it just dont all of a sudden be over. she told me she was gonna call it off adn that they did not do anything. well a month later she is still with him. it was not until i packed my bags and sold our house that he decided he wanted a "vacation". he still told this girl he loved her and he wanted her to wait on him to get back. she practically laughed in his face. after he got to his hometown he found out she was sleeping with several other guys and thats when he decided to work things out with me. he told me he did not regret trying to make himself happy by being with her but that he did not cheat on me. he says he only kissed her. kissing is just as bad as the whole act. but now our sex life is completely different and he wants things he never wanted before. if he had sex with her i need to know. i have to forgive for everything not just a few little pieces here and there. lies are worse than the sex. ijust want truth and closure.


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## PreludeCkN

Cheating is cheating, emotional and physical, so he needs to admit to that to get a clean fresh start. Things wont be the same , but i am telling you, all those details can hurt you.


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## addie

i do understand they will hurt me. but right now my imagination is running wild and i cant even enjoy sex without the thought of them in my head. it makes me want to puke. i am hoping truth will help me forgive and eventually forget about the nightmare im going through. its hard to know i fought so hard to get him to come home and now i cant even find forgiveness. i tried to turn it over to god, which i did, and he led us back together and now i feel like im letting him down by having so much hurt and confusion.


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## PreludeCkN

Please go to this webpage, and I hope that all of your questions are answered. It truly worked for me. If you want to forgive you have to seek God with all your heart. You have to love just like God loves you, you have to forgive just like God can forgive you. When you have God in your life, everything else comes in second, including your husband. Seek God and you will have peace.


GOD Can Restore Your Marriage! - Home


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