# Sexual Chemistry



## wimps30 (Jul 6, 2012)

Hello

Soo, wife has put on about 70lbs and does not take care of herself anymore. She would be considered very heavy, and I've never ever been attracted to this body type. I find it difficult to get aroused by her, and her weight actually makes sex uncomfortable in certain situations.

I've kind of stopped initiating sex, and she has noticed.. she asks me why, but I don't have the heart to tell her I'm not physically attracted to her anymore.

I don't know what to do at this point?? When we first dated, she was very active and a gym rat..


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## Mr_brown (Oct 17, 2011)

Give her the book ”His Needs Her Needs” and read it together.


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

If you tell her (think you should), be gentle but don't coddle. Attraction aside, it is unhealthy. I would go the unhealthy route and touch on the attraction part lightly, at first. 

Also, the food in your home could be an issue too. Generally, men can lose weight/fat and gain muscle more quickly. You could both be eating the same food, but your body uses it differently. If you want a real overhaul, lose frozen food and store the microwave away. Extreme? Yes, but can help. Fresh ingredients (unpackaged) are best. Generally if it's packaged it loaded with preservatives/sodium/bad fat. And the microwave is the culprit because it gives it to fast and makes it simple. 

You can ignore 2nd paragraph but try to be active with her. Learn a new physical skill together. Encourage and challenge her and reward her for little accomplishments.


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## loze (Jul 6, 2012)

i'm sure your wife feels unhappy too.
why dont you ask her to get up early and go for a walk each day? why dont you say to her that you would like to be fit, would she like to get fit together - have some fun, get healthy together. it'll bring the spark back.
tell her you think she is a wonderful and beautiful woman and that you are worried about her health and her selfesteem. ask her is she unhappy. it might be something else manifesting. encourage her. 
NEVER tell her you think shes unattractive that's not nice, you can be kind she already suspects you dont want to have sex with her because of her weight gain so you dont need to be awful.
be kind, shes is still the same person she was she just put on weight and i bet she isnt thrilled about it. 
help her, make it something you do - together you make a healthy home.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

This is pretty much a non-issue if she wants children and you are adamant that you do not. So why worry about attraction/weigh/sex?

If you think it is workable, (and it will be very difficult to do without resentment on either side), then I would suggest the route of joining a gym and asking her to come along. Make it a fun thing to do together and don't tell her that you're not attracted to her... It will hurt her feelings and women aren't usually motivated by things like that. (In all likelihood she would probably just retreat further into a sedentary life).

You have to get the big things settled first...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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