# Odd text to me from my husband's friend.



## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

So a month ago we, or I should say I, bought a car from my husband's friend who lives just outside our subdivision. This car was his friend's ex-wife's car that he was selling for her. We were looking for one and he happened to post on his Facebook page that he was selling his and my H contacted him and he brought it by that night. We each drove it and liked it, but it was to be my car. I wrote the check and gave it to the guy. I barely know the guy other than he races motorcycles with my husband.

So I took the title he gave me and went to the DOL the next day to transfer it and was told it wasn't the most recent. Had H give him a call saying we needed a newer one, which he said he had but forgot to grab it. So the next morning at like 6:30 as I was about to head out the door for work he stops by and drops it off because he's just getting off work and only lives a couple of blocks away. H was still in bed at the time but I got it from him and he gave me his number so I could contact him if there were any more issues. Don't know why he gave me his number when H already had it. 

So the next day I go back to the DOL and they tell me there is a still a newer title than the one I have. I text the guy and say there should be another title. He apologizes profusely and says he'll call his ex and see if she has it. He texts me which doesn't come through and then calls saying she's going to the DOL to get an affidavit because she can't find it. Then an hour later or so texts and profusely apologizes for it and says she'll bring it up tomorrow or he'll go get it from her and bring it over. Well she's an hour away so just have her mail it! Finally get it and it's the right one and I go the title transferred about 2 weeks ago.

No contact with the guy since then but yesterday I, not my husband, get a text from him saying: "Hi Mapparino (I'm paraphrasing there, but he used a nickname to what my name actually is like he was trying to be cute). Just wanted to let you know that I have some nanowax made for your car. If you want, I can swing by this weekend and get it all waxed up for ya if you want. I really don't have a life anyways LOL. It's made for black cars with 5 layers of clear coat. Anywho, just thought I'd say hi."

Okay, I barely know the guy and he's getting all cutesy with me and wanting to come by and not just drop the wax off but wax the car?? My husband works this weekend as well so there's no way I wanted this guy coming over and why didn't he just contact my husband about it? I showed H the text and he got kind of upset thinking this guy is trying to creep in on me. He called him back and said "Dude you can drop off the wax but you don't need to come over and wax it yourself. That's a bit much. And if you want anything else just call or text ME okay?"

I mean that's like an equivalent of me selling a car to my friend and her husband even though the husband is the guy actually buying it and then only texting the husband about the car!

Anyone else find this odd??


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

yeah, very odd. i think your husband just should have offered to get it from him but i think he made the point.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I agree with H. He is testing the waters to see if you are interested. Your H did good. Block his number and if he comes by let your H deal with him. You stay in the house. He is just fishing.


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

And I'm the type who will never be not nice to someone too, just my nature, but I'm also not going to invite them over to do something when my husband isn't there. I'm also not going to engage in random texts.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Gee everyone is so cynical. Maybe the guy just misses the car and wants to spend a little one on one time with his old baby! lol


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

Cooper said:


> Gee everyone is so cynical. Maybe the guy just misses the car and wants to spend a little one on one time with his old baby! lol


But it wasn't his car...it was his ex's car. He was just being nice and selling it for her.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Mapper said:


> So a month ago we, or I should say I, bought a car from my husband's friend who lives just outside our subdivision. This car was his friend's ex-wife's car that he was selling for her. We were looking for one and he happened to post on his Facebook page that he was selling his and my H contacted him and he brought it by that night. We each drove it and liked it, but it was to be my car. I wrote the check and gave it to the guy. I barely know the guy other than he races motorcycles with my husband.
> 
> So I took the title he gave me and went to the DOL the next day to transfer it and was told it wasn't the most recent. Had H give him a call saying we needed a newer one, which he said he had but forgot to grab it. So the next morning at like 6:30 as I was about to head out the door for work he stops by and drops it off because he's just getting off work and only lives a couple of blocks away. H was still in bed at the time but I got it from him and he gave me his number so I could contact him if there were any more issues. Don't know why he gave me his number when H already had it.
> 
> ...


I don't find it odd per say. He is putting feelers out to see if you are interested. Sh*tty people do this, how do you think they find their affair partners. Probably why he has an ex wife.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

He was trolling. Your H shut him down...like he should have. 

Its probably going to stop there....BUT..if it doesn't -you will need to shut it down very hard -with both you and your husband -together. 

My wife like you...is always nice...to everyone...kids, animals, strangers, whoever...Its a lovely personality trait...but dangerous as well. We have been down the stalker road and its downright crazy. Be safe, keep your doors locked. NEVER post anything publicly that has to do with you or your husbands whereabouts....especially if you won't be together. 

If he just shows up at your house...and your husband isn't home...just call the cops...don't debate it, don't worry about hurt feelings, just do it. If he's harmless he will finally get the hint....if he isn't harmless....he will know you will put up with zero BS


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

sokillme said:


> I don't find it odd per say. He is putting feelers out to see if you are interested. Sh*tty people do this, how do you think they find their affair partners. Probably why he has an ex wife.


The last thing I would do is text a friend's spouse I barely know! And I certainly wouldn't try and be cutesy with the name and then add "I'll come over because I don't really have a life".


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

MarriedDude said:


> If he just shows up at your house...and your husband isn't home...just call the cops...don't debate it, don't worry about hurt feelings, just do it. If he's harmless he will finally get the hint....if he isn't harmless....he will know you will put up with zero BS


Calling the cops on someone who just stopped by seems very extreme!


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Trust me...if it gets bad, it gets bad VERY quickly. No one would fault you for being over cautious. This guy, if you consider his actions, has escalated his interactions very quickly...too quickly. Maybe he is just lonely and thinks your hot, or maybe he is a violent persob with a grudge against women....what are you willing to bet?

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Mapper, he wanted to get some vigorous hot waxing action going. But I do believe he was thinking of waxing you rather than the car.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Turn on the garden hose and spray him if he comes near you again.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Banned-It.45 said:


> Turn on the garden hose and spray him if he comes near you again.


Aggressive aquatic territorial displays are effective when used on invading species.

I saw it on wild kingdom
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

I just looked up to see what "nanowax" is and it's the same exact bottle that was left in the trunk of the car when we got it! Maybe he didn't know it was in there but, no thanks we're covered! And he said in his text that its for BLACK cars. No it's not! It's for ANY car!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I must be SO naive, because reading all that I didn't find what he did to be that big a deal. Some people are just cutesy.


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> I must be SO naive, because reading all that I didn't find what he did to be that big a deal. Some people are just cutesy.


Well when you barely know someone, the last thing you are going to do is be cutesy to your friend's wife! AND ask to come over a wax a car that is no longer yours...and quite frankly never was. It was his ex's!


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

brooklynAnn said:


> He is testing the waters to see if you are interested. He is just fishing.


This^. Over the years, I've received flowers and gifts from men my H knows. I always send a gracious thank you copying my H on the message. 

There are still old school gentlemen who show appreciation to a lady. It's a delicate balance to accept the gift graciously and still maintain a boundary. In my own situation, however, these were hostess gifts; I think your situation was perhaps a bit more overt with him testing for your interest, particularly if neither of you know him well.


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

There was a shooting in our area over the weekend where a jealous boyfriend went and shot his ex girlfriend who had broken up with him a week before. For whatever reason, this prompted H to say to me "Did I ever tell you what that guy said to me when I called him?" I said no. He tells me that this guy said "Well I texted you first but it didn't go through for some reason so I texted her". That seems odd! You have his number in your phone and the phone calls work fine, but the text won't go through?? 

It's weird that he would text me at all, but I find it even weirder (if indeed it is true) that he would text H in the first place after not having spoken with him for a month and ask if he'd like to have him come over a wax a car! I mean really? A guy asking another guy to come over a wax a car that no longer belongs to him?? Wouldn't any guy find it weird that a "sort of" friend would offer to come over and wax a car while we go about our usual business??


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Mapper said:


> There was a shooting in our area over the weekend where a jealous boyfriend went and shot his ex girlfriend who had broken up with him a week before. For whatever reason, this prompted H to say to me "Did I ever tell you what that guy said to me when I called him?" I said no. He tells me that this guy said "Well I texted you first but it didn't go through for some reason so I texted her". That seems odd! You have his number in your phone and the phone calls work fine, but the text won't go through??
> 
> It's weird that he would text me at all, but I find it even weirder (if indeed it is true) that he would text H in the first place after not having spoken with him for a month and ask if he'd like to have him come over a wax a car! I mean really? A guy asking another guy to come over a wax a car that no longer belongs to him?? Wouldn't any guy find it weird that a "sort of" friend would offer to come over and wax a car while we go about our usual business??



I have two following guesses:

A) There is something left in the car that he wanted to retrieve, and waxing the car was an excuse to have access to all the compartments of the vehicle.

B) The guy just wants to be sure you are happy with the car as he feels responsibility for you making a large purchase. Often new real estate agents will feel this way the first time they sell a house, they will offer to come by and go way above and beyond to make sure the house they just sold you is the best that it can be!

Badsanta


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Mapper,

You just wrote the textbook on how not to let an ass hole try to creep in to your marriage, and your husband did the exact correct thing also.

jerks like this though sometimes do not take the hint, so if he knows your husbands work schedule, I'd just be alert that he does not just happen to accidently stop by because he was in the neighborhood.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Mapper said:


> There was a shooting in our area over the weekend where a jealous boyfriend went and shot his ex girlfriend who had broken up with him a week before. For whatever reason, this prompted H to say to me "Did I ever tell you what that guy said to me when I called him?" I said no. He tells me that this guy said "Well I texted you first but it didn't go through for some reason so I texted her". That seems odd! You have his number in your phone and the phone calls work fine, but the text won't go through??
> 
> It's weird that he would text me at all, but I find it even weirder (if indeed it is true) that he would text H in the first place after not having spoken with him for a month and ask if he'd like to have him come over a wax a car! I mean really? A guy asking another guy to come over a wax a car that no longer belongs to him?? Wouldn't any guy find it weird that a "sort of" friend would offer to come over and wax a car while we go about our usual business??


Urgh, you are so dramatic.... Have you never had a guy hit on you since you've been married?

Your H shut it down, which by the way YOU should of done not him despite your "passive" nature. 

If you really want to be rid of this guy for good just send him the link to this thread. It would make anyone run.


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

BetrayedDad said:


> Urgh, you are so dramatic.... Have you never had a guy hit on you since you've been married?
> 
> Your H shut it down, which by the way YOU should of done not him despite your "passive" nature.
> 
> If you really want to be rid of this guy for good just send him the link to this thread. It would make anyone run.


I know I'm TOTALLY dramatic aren't I??? And no, not once since I've been married have I had a guy hit on me so I'm SO sorry that this isn't an everyday occurrence for me!


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Mapper said:


> And no, not once since I've been married have I had a guy hit on me so I'm SO sorry that this isn't an everyday occurrence for me!


Why do you think that is honestly? This thread vibes of self esteem and confidence issues. Have you spoken to anyone about this?

You do understand that the world full of scumbags who don't care if man or woman is married. Hell, some consider it a challenge.


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

BetrayedDad said:


> Why do you think that is honestly? This thread vibes of self esteem and confidence issues. Have you spoken to anyone about this?
> 
> You do understand that the world full of scumbags who don't care if man or woman is married. Hell, some consider it a challenge.


Well I guess I come from good old small town Middle America where stuff like this doesn't, and didn't ever, happen to me and my friends. I purposely make sure I don't put out any vibes to other guys! I am a reserved person who is very low key and doesn't say much, not the loudmouthed, laughing at everything a guy says kind of woman and then wonders why a guy is hitting on me.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Mapper said:


> Well I guess I come from good old small town Middle America where stuff like this doesn't, and didn't ever, happen to me and my friends. I purposely make sure I don't put out any vibes to other guys! I am a reserved person who is very low key and doesn't say much, not the loudmouthed, laughing at everything a guy says kind of woman and then wonders why a guy is hitting on me.


You should stop being so naïve then is all I can tell you. I can assure you even in good old small town Middle America people are trying to and having affairs.


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## Mapper (Jun 5, 2012)

BetrayedDad said:


> You should stop being so naïve then is all I can tell you. I can assure you even in good old small town Middle America people are trying to and having affairs.


Oh I KNOW there is. I was just never a part of anything like that or knew anyone where it was an issue.


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