# My husband flushed his wedding ring down the toilet after an argument.



## app1epi (Sep 23, 2013)

I have been married for 14 years and have 4 sons. Over the last year or so my husband and I have been having frequent fights and things have been very hard. My husband has anger issues and just started to see a therapist, he's only gone once though. Saturday night after going out together, and drinking a bit too much, we got into a very big fight because I said he embarrassed me. Earlier in the day he had a meltdown and was screaming and I said it was embarrassing when he screams and yells since everyone in the neighborhood can here it. He became so upset that he flushed his wedding ring down the toilet. Its gone. I'm so incredibly hurt and upset. He has apologized excessively and I know he feels like a fool about it but I feel that he crossed a line and I just don't know how I can truly forgive him. Any words of advice? I'm torn with what to say or do.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does he only scream and yell? Or does he hit, throw and break things? Has he been physical with you? Pushing, shoving, grabbing twisting arms, hitting you?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Get him a new one, get on with anger management.
Stop drinking.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What's changed over the last year? What about marriage counseling? Is drinking too much a common issue?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## app1epi (Sep 23, 2013)

He doesn't hit. Just gets very frustrated and has broke a few things, anger has been an ongoing issue for him since childhood. The past year has been exceptionally hard because of career changes, kids, financial strain. I wouldn't say drinking is an issue. Just hasn't helped the situation. I also don't feel like going and just getting him a new ring. Just doesn't feel like that's the right move right now. What is he going to learn from that? I'm sick of replacing things he has broken after having a meltdown.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

tacoma said:


> Get him a new one, get on with anger management.
> Stop drinking.


Ha! Truth.
Drink also made me have 'meltdowns'. And I was not a heavy drinker.

I have found cutting alcohol out of my diet has made my moods far more even both while imbibing and they day after. 

Not drinking has a way of adding up financially. 

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Maybe both of you cut out the drinking and try actually being NICE to each other?


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

app1epi said:


> I have been married for 14 years and have 4 sons. Over the last year or so my husband and I have been having frequent fights and things have been very hard. My husband has anger issues and just started to see a therapist, he's only gone once though. Saturday night after going out together, and drinking a bit too much, we got into a very big fight because I said he embarrassed me. Earlier in the day he had a meltdown and was screaming and I said it was embarrassing when he screams and yells since everyone in the neighborhood can here it. He became so upset that he flushed his wedding ring down the toilet. Its gone. I'm so incredibly hurt and upset. He has apologized excessively and I know he feels like a fool about it but I feel that he crossed a line and I just don't know how I can truly forgive him. Any words of advice? I'm torn with what to say or do.


Tell him the marriage is on the line as of today. If he continues with his anger issues, the marriage will be flushed down the toilet just like he did with the symbol of his marriage.

BUT if he can get control and fix himself, that you will have a renewing of vows with new rings. 

His behavior is abhorrent and needs to change.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Sounds like sobriety would help you both.

Clarity is a wonderful thing when trying to figure out major life-changing things like staying married or not.




P.S. Would you rather be Right or married? Make sure you arent' a "right fighter" Of course, being sober would help you both make more sound, rational decisions as Parents of 4 young boys.
Communication therapy - learning how to communicate with each other would be great - your children are watching you....learning by example.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

You don't have to get over it right away. Tell him that you appreciate his apology but that flushing his ring down the toilet was very hurtful to you and it is going to take some time to process through this.


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