# Feel like wife is cheating



## Midnight#1 (Dec 27, 2012)

Me and my wife been married for like three years almost and been together for over 12 years. I always trusted her since we got married until last weekend when we went out for some drinks at A bar and came home A little drunk. It was around five in the morning and we were home with some family that came out with us when I noticed her texting. I never check her texts but that moment something told me too look. I took the phone and noticed A guys name that was her friend from A long time since she was young, from what she told me. It was one text only, (others were erased)it said "Since were just horsing around & ur gonna delete this,let me say I was gonna ask you 2 send me another pic but this one showing me more..." When I saw it my heart felt like I was gonna drop dead....I told her to come to the bathroom to talk cause I did not wanna talk infront of her sis and sis boyfriend. She tells me at first that it was A facebook pic that he was talking about and that she didint send any pics that night and that he was drunk and acting like A drunk...She also said look I texted my two brothers too, which she did around the same time. Also around two months earlier she went out to A bar with this same guy, her two sisters and came home late that night. She known him from what I know for A very long time since she was younger, shes only 31 now and says hes just A real close friend. I told her that I didint believe that it was about A facebook pic he was talking about as the text read send me another pic....if it was on facebook it was posted not sent threw text I told her. I texted back saying we had fun that night and he never replied back. Finally the next day I got her to admit that she did send him A pic which showed some cleavage if its the one she says it is....I been asking her to tell me the truth if she did something with him and she says she never cheated on me since we got married. I asked her why would you send him A text at that time and not tell me or why would you erase it....she says I sent A text to my brothers too at the same time and we were all texting. Then I find out that this guy only got A pic not her brothers....To make it worse, she was the first to send him A text that night, I got her to tell me. I love her but feel like she either did something with this dude or has feelings for him and just got caught.I took her phone and closed her facebook account and told her to take A lie detector test which she agreed to do, if she wanted for me to believe her. ....any advice would help, thanks in advance.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Check the phone bill/records and see how much she has been texting and talking to him.

She needs to end all contact with this guy.


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## Midnight#1 (Dec 27, 2012)

She offered to do that within the last year of records, but last months bill still ain't ready yet from phone company for printing. She said she will bring all of them when she prints them at work.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Most cell companies have on-line accounts where you can check the calls, incoming and out going at any time. They update pretty regularly. Don't have to wait for them to be printed out.


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

Midnight#1 said:


> she says she never cheated on me since we got married.


I would look into this. This is word play. She claims to have never cheated, _since we got married_


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## Midnight#1 (Dec 27, 2012)

Sounds good, I'm A tell her tomorrow when she gets home to show me online....Thanks again. Also her final answer why she did it was that she did'int know why she did it and cause shes dumb or something like that and she wasn't thinking. She bought home January tru Aprils bills printed so far and said thats all she could print at work so far, I did'int check em yet but want most recent .... and also said she would take A lie detector test that I said she should.....but I know they ain't 100 percent accurate and are 500 dollars. The fishy thing is she said shes scared if its wrong, I told her we could take two at different locations and if you fail both then your probably lying. She must have either some kind of feelings or did something IMO cause no wife should do those things and hide it.


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## Midnight#1 (Dec 27, 2012)

manonfire said:


> I would look into this. This is word play. She claims to have never cheated, _since we got married_


When she did something before she told me crying, but now that were married I'm wondering if shes lying to save the marriage and scared from retaliation or she just had feelings for him and it got caught early before it got worse....either way it hurts, but knowing she did'int sleep with him is a lot better of course. Still even if she had only feelings I don't know what to do.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

When did the earlier incident happen? what id she do?


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

You just said "when she did something before"-----has she messed around on you before---or is the 1st indescretion that you know of

Also was there any specific reason why it took the 2 of you 9 yrs to get married---were there problems going on during your pre-marital relationship????


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Midnight#1 said:


> She offered to do that within the last year of records, but last months bill still ain't ready yet from phone company for printing. She said she will bring all of them when she prints them at work.


Tell her not to print them, you wanna see them on the computer, she can always copy and edit at work! You'd never know!


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Midnight#1 said:


> When she did something before she told me crying, but now that were married I'm wondering if shes lying to save the marriage and scared from retaliation or she just had feelings for him and it got caught early before it got worse....either way it hurts, but knowing she did'int sleep with him is a lot better of course. Still even if she had only feelings I don't know what to do.



You know your wife better then any of us. You can usually judge by her actions or lack there of. Has she changed? Is she loving/affectionate?

Most of the time if it walks, and quacks like a duck its a duck but in this case Im wondering if she is just really grasping for attention? I say that because she said "you'll just delete this anyway" part of her text.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Your gut is never wrong.

Send photos that are FB?

That's total BS.

Never cheated on you since we ARE married. This leaves out her pre marriage actions. How convient.

Out late and OM was there, and OM an XF, red flag.

Follow through and get the polygraph done.


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## confusedat42 (Dec 17, 2012)

Midnight#1 said:


> She offered to do that within the last year of records, but last months bill still ain't ready yet from phone company for printing. She said she will bring all of them when she prints them at work.


Go online, you can see all activity from texts, times, and numbers. Also you can see phone calls. Very detailed.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Read some threads around here. Do not be a fool. You're wanting to believe her. Think logically here. 

Do you have a feeling she was lying but you were giving her the benefit of the doubt?

As an outsider I will arrogantly assume it seems as though this is an ex lover whom she fooled with before you were married. Either that is the reason or she is testing the waters with this spark that never turned into a flame and just wants to test boundaries thinking "its harmless" when actually its just a sharpening of the knife she will stab your back with.

Everything starts out small. Kill it now, end the contact with this friend. Trick her into thinking you know everything already.

Does she talk on the phone or text only? Does she use the computer for facebook?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Midnight,

Everyone here is right!

1 - Look at the texts on line, not what she has choosen to print for you. She'll definitely edit out what she doesn't want you to see

2 - Definitely go through with the lie detector test and be prepared for the worst. I think she may be hiding something

Sorry you're here


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## Batty (Dec 20, 2012)

So you're hanging around drunk at five in the morning, which is certainly not a problem. 

Take the fact of whether this man had his penis in your wife's vagina out of the equation, and ask yourself the following simple question:

Do you want to be with your wife, or don't you?


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

Midnight#1 said:


> Me and my wife been married for like three years almost and been together for over 12 years. I always trusted her since we got married until last weekend when we went out for some drinks at A bar and came home A little drunk. It was around five in the morning and we were home with some family that came out with us when I noticed her texting. I never check her texts but that moment something told me too look. I took the phone and noticed A guys name that was her friend from A long time since she was young, from what she told me. It was one text only, (others were erased)it said "Since were just horsing around & ur gonna delete this,let me say I was gonna ask you 2 send me another pic but this one showing me more..." When I saw it my heart felt like I was gonna drop dead....I told her to come to the bathroom to talk cause I did not wanna talk infront of her sis and sis boyfriend. She tells me at first that it was A facebook pic that he was talking about and that she didint send any pics that night and that he was drunk and acting like A drunk...She also said look I texted my two brothers too, which she did around the same time. Also around two months earlier she went out to A bar with this same guy, her two sisters and came home late that night. She known him from what I know for A very long time since she was younger, shes only 31 now and says hes just A real close friend. I told her that I didint believe that it was about A facebook pic he was talking about as the text read send me another pic....if it was on facebook it was posted not sent threw text I told her. I texted back saying we had fun that night and he never replied back. Finally the next day I got her to admit that she did send him A pic which showed some cleavage if its the one she says it is....I been asking her to tell me the truth if she did something with him and she says she never cheated on me since we got married. I asked her why would you send him A text at that time and not tell me or why would you erase it....she says I sent A text to my brothers too at the same time and we were all texting. Then I find out that this guy only got A pic not her brothers....To make it worse, she was the first to send him A text that night, I got her to tell me. I love her but feel like she either did something with this dude or has feelings for him and just got caught.I took her phone and closed her facebook account and told her to take A lie detector test which she agreed to do, if she wanted for me to believe her. ....any advice would help, thanks in advance.


Dear Midnight#1,

By TAM standards, you've handled this pretty well so far. You confronted your WW immediately upon seeing evidence that she is cheating, you picked up on her lies and you asked for a polygraph test. Not bad for a beginner.

But now you get to the hard part of the test. You know your wife has gone outside of your marriage (you just don't know how far) and you know that she will lie about it (probably so that she can continue to do things behind your back). So the question now is, what do you do about it?

If you are thinking clearly (and most guys in your situation do not), you would say to yourself, given that you are fairly young and don't have kids together (I'm surmising this), the best thing to do would be to file for divorce and move on. After all, you've only been married a little while and she's already cheating (to one extent or another). Better to put your energy into finding a more worthy wife than trying to fix the cheating one you've got.

But, if you're like just about every other BH on TAM, you aren't thinking clearly and instead will cling to the illusion that your WW is a wonderful gal who just made a mistake, that you love her more than anything, and that all will be well if you ask (or beg) her to stop cheating.

So, the question is, what kind of guy are you?


P.S.: Read some of the other threads on TAM to see what happens to guys who don't act decisively when they catch their wives stepping out. Also, get yourself a copy of "The Married Man Sex Life Primer" by Athol Kay and check out his website

Blog | Married Man Sex Life


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