# A women who neither rejects or reciprocate a "I love you" message, probably loves you?



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

What would you women say, first instinct? 

I believe that she does, and not just for that reason. She pushes the "abort mission" button whenever we get emotionally close, indicating that I am not neutral for her, which is a start... 

But I don't know


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> What would you women say, first instinct?
> 
> I believe that she does, and not just for that reason. She pushes the "abort mission" button whenever we get emotionally close, indicating that I am not neutral for her, which is a start...
> 
> But I don't know


It depends, I think.
Is this the 54th "I love you" message that you've sent today or is this the first one in a couple of weeks.
If it's a frequent thing, she's probably signaling that she might be feeling smothered and need some air. However, that doesn't mean she isn't interested in the relationship.
If it's the first one in some time, it's probably an indication that she doesn't share the same feelings with you.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> It depends, I think.
> Is this the 54th "I love you" message that you've sent today or is this the first one in a couple of weeks.


First one ever. It was in reply to :"confused" and I figure I might as well end it. I wrote other things aside from that, but she would not touch that particular part of my message, noticeably...


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> First one ever. It was in reply to :"confused" and I figure I might as well end it. I wrote other things aside from that, but she would not touch that particular part of my message, noticeably...


I'm guessing that you're both not in the same place emotionally or relationshipwise.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> I'm guessing that you're both not in the same place emotionally or relationshipwise.


It's bittersweet. I want to try this out if I am that sensitive to her, but she has to reverse the behavioral pattern. Will she do it if I let her go?


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> It's bittersweet. I want to try this out if I am that sensitive to her, but she has to reverse the behavioral pattern. Will she do it if I let her go?


She may have somebody else in mind and perhaps you were never really her choice. 
It's also possible that she gave you a reasonable chance, in her mind, but you didn't capitalize on it in her window of opportunity.
If she still interested, she will probably contact you if you reduce contact with her. 
So, I would probably leave her for a few days to see if she will contact you. If she doesn't, then she has moved on.
If she still is interested, she will initiate contact with you.
You were the last one who made contact and she knows that, so she will reciprocate if she is interested.
In the meantime, I would not stop living your life.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

If you say ILY & she says nothing,you have to assume she does NOT love you. She's been rendered mute because your announcement was so unwelcome & out of left field that she can't find the words to dissuade you from this course without hurting your feelings but she is too nice to hurt your feelings. She ends up hurting you more by allowing you to live in this delusion that she does return your feelings.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Anytime a woman in a relationship says “I’m confused”, that is classic code words for “I’ve got someone else I’m wanting”.
Why would you spring the “I love you” when she has one foot out the door?
I’d just let her go. Chasing a woman ALWAYS pushes them away faster.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Emotionally empty people aren’t fun to have a relationship with.
If you have to beg someone to love you or express how they feel - there is either no feelings for you or they simply have too much crap in their history that allows them to live others freely.
Either way - it’s not worth it.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I’m not a woman but I can tell you this woman has no interest in a sexual relationship with you. 
I also find your choice of name very interesting. Has this some bearing on your current situation?


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Andy1001 said:


> I’m not a woman


DQ


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> Anytime a woman in a relationship says “I’m confused”, that is classic code words for “I’ve got someone else I’m wanting”.
> Why would you spring the “I love you” when she has one foot out the door?
> I’d just let her go. Chasing a woman ALWAYS pushes them away faster.


It wasn't pertaining to me, but more the entire situation.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Beach123 said:


> Emotionally empty people aren’t fun to have a relationship with.
> If you have to beg someone to live you or express how they feel - there is either no feelings for you or they simply have too much crap in their history that allows them to live others freely.
> Either way - it’s not worth it.


I don't believe that she's empty, but closed. Way more than I could have imagined. It's like two different persons.. If we get close, she's like a scripted bot with single sentences. If it's happy and free-wheeling, she's awesome. There is something about me that makes her unwilling to open up. As if she is afraid to fall in love.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

It’s more about her than you.
Quit thinking you can “make her” feel or be any certain way.

She may just be an empty emotional person. No emotions low emotions or guarded. 

You can’t change that for someone - that’s who they are.

If you don’t like it the way it is - then leave.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Beach123 said:


> It’s more about her than you.


I get it. But my perception is that it's more of a put-on, rather than her actual characteristic. And that in and of itself makes me suspect that she has supressed feelings. Again, just my perception.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Sadly, usually perceptions like this are based on what a persons wants to see and not necessarily how it really is. Why chase a woman who fit whatever reason, is not reciprocating? It’s a no win situation.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I get it. But my perception is that it's more of a put-on, rather than her actual characteristic. And that in and of itself makes me suspect that she has supressed feelings. Again, just my perception.


You may very well be correct about her feelings, but even in the best situation that you are hoping for, you are dealing with a woman who is afraid to be open and honest and vulnerable about the most important feelings that two people share - LOVE.

So even in the best case with her, it's NOT going to be like some miraculous romantic reveal for her -- even if she loves you, she is trying to suppress that and ignore that, and THAT is not someone who makes a good partner. Her heart will most likely never be fully available to you, and you will both struggle with her emotional fears for your entire relationship.

You aren't about to uncover a diamond that is buried under a few layers of dirt - you are trying to pick a lock that, even if you succeed in opening, will only reveal ANOTHER lock that you will need to pick...and then another, and another...and another...

And that is your BEST case scenario with this woman.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> You may very well be correct about her feelings, but even in the best situation that you are hoping for, you are dealing with a woman who is afraid to be open and honest and vulnerable about the most important feelings that two people share - LOVE.
> 
> So even in the best case with her, it's NOT going to be like some miraculous romantic reveal for her -- even if she loves you, she is trying to suppress that and ignore that, and THAT is not someone who makes a good partner. Her heart will most likely never be fully available to you, and you will both struggle with her emotional fears for your entire relationship.
> 
> ...


She wrote that she "probably don't know what I am talking about". Probably. About us... Common now, I was right in my perception? I have been wrong before, but I don't think am this time.

And yes, it could be trouble but who knows.. There's always the split up option. Why not give it a go? Maybe we just click


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She wrote that she "probably don't know what I am talking about". Probably. About us... Common now, I was right in my perception? I have been wrong before, but I don't think am this time.
> 
> And yes, it could be trouble but who knows.. There's always the split up option. Why not give it a go? Maybe we just click


That is the romance movie ending you think you will get...but that's NOT life. I have known a few women who behaved similarly to what you are describing, and while they opened up a little bit at first, their default comfort position was closed...and eventually they resented the pain of being forced open.

You are not talking about shy and a little fearful of being hurt again - you are talking about CLOSED. No matter how she feels about you, she doesn't want you in her heart...you aren't going to be able to change that, because it's about HER, it's not about YOU.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> I have known a few women who behaved similarly to what you are describing, and while they opened up a little bit at first, their default comfort position was closed...and eventually they resented the pain of being forced open.


How did it all unfold?


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> How did it all unfold?


Their willingness to open up was only at the beginning of their relationships...and the emotional challenges of loving someone else and needing to be vulnerable caused them to close back up again, and decide that the emotional risk and cost of being open wasn't worth what they got from their partners.

My mom was one of them, and she stopped having sex at all in her mid-40s, and STILL blames my step-dad for leaving her over that. She totally retreated from him (and her children) after 20+ years of marriage and struggling to be emotionally available to him...she could barely admit that she loved him.

The other women were my sister and my cousin...and the outcome was the same - emotional unavailability and coldness, and NO care about how hurt that made their partners.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> How did it all unfold?


I am NOT guaranteeing that this is what is going on with the woman you are pursuing...you have been much too vague, and we can't see her behavior enough to interpret it with any type of accuracy.

I just wanted to point out that emotional problems DO NOT unfold the way Hollywood would have us think. There isn't some crisis moment that brings change and healthy relating skills...any change at all can only come FROM HER. It has to be what she sees in herself and what she wants for your relationship, on her own.

If she is as emotionally remote as my mother was, I don't see much hope of a different outcome. My step-dad was a perfect husband to her, totally supportive and loving...and he still got crumbs from her and then NOTHING.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> I am NOT guaranteeing that this is what is going on with the woman you are pursuing...you have been much too vague, and we can't see her behavior enough to interpret it with any type of accuracy.
> 
> I just wanted to point out that emotional problems DO NOT unfold the way Hollywood would have us think. There isn't some crisis moment that brings change and healthy relating skills...any change at all can only come FROM HER. It has to be what she sees in herself and what she wants for your relationship, on her own.
> 
> If she is as emotionally remote as my mother was, I don't see much hope of a different outcome. My step-dad was a perfect husband to her, totally supportive and loving...and he still got crumbs from her and then NOTHING.


I don't know if it's a put-on and she's just protecting herself or if this is truly her.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> What would you women say, first instinct?
> 
> I believe that she does, and not just for that reason. She pushes the "abort mission" button whenever we get emotionally close, indicating that I am not neutral for her, which is a start...
> 
> But I don't know


_"I don't believe that she's empty, but closed. Way more than I could have imagined. *It's like two different persons.. If we get close, she's like a scripted bot with single sentences. If it's happy and free-wheeling, she's awesome.* There is something about me that makes her unwilling to open up. As if she is afraid to fall in love."_

This sounds like she is closed to *you only. *

Life is short. 

If she is closed to you because she is "broken" or hurt in some way, you will not be able to fix her. You will break yourself in the process. This seems less likely as she only shuts down when you attempt to get close. *Attraction cannot be negotiated. Either she finds you attractive or she doesn't. *

Would recommend you part ways with her and find someone willing to get close to you and reciprocate your interest.

Do not offer any explanation for your withdrawal. Quietly fade away or simply ghost. You likely will not hear anything from her in either case. Should she decide to pursue if you choose to pull away, would suggest you politely decline. You will only be shown enough interest to keep you around. She will still be closed to you.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

marko polo said:


> _"I don't believe that she's empty, but closed. Way more than I could have imagined. *It's like two different persons.. If we get close, she's like a scripted bot with single sentences. If it's happy and free-wheeling, she's awesome.* There is something about me that makes her unwilling to open up. As if she is afraid to fall in love."_
> 
> This sounds like she is closed to *you only. *
> 
> ...


Easier said than done.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I don't know if it's a put-on and she's just protecting herself or if this is truly her.


But that's my point - it's toxic to a relationship EITHER WAY. If she is just protecting herself, she will never be able to stop doing that, and seeing your love as a threat.

It's not like she is even sharing her fear with you...she's not. So she is insisting to herself (maybe subconsciously) that she needs to protect herself from you and her feelings for you. How do you think you are going to break through that many locks?


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Easier said than done.


When a woman is interested in you she will reciprocate. She will not be closed. She will not only spend time with you, she will make time for you. She will want to get close to you.

You will be very disappointed if you are on this forum waiting to hear what you want vs what the reality of your situation is.

The reality - she is unavailable to you for whatever reason. Move on or accept that you will not get any closer to her than you are now.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She wrote that she "probably don't know what I am talking about". Probably. About us... Common now, I was right in my perception? I have been wrong before, but I don't think am this time.
> 
> And yes, it could be trouble but who knows.. There's always the split up option. Why not give it a go? Maybe we just click


Is this someone you’ve met? Someone you’ve spent extended time with?


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Beach123 said:


> Is this someone you’ve met? Someone you’ve spent extended time with?


No. But you don't have to worry since it's not going to amount to anything according to you, right?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

This isn't much information, like I can't tell if you've even met or have gone on a date or kissed or anything, but I'm a woman, and it sounds to me like she is not interested in you romantically, or you'd know it. You can't force it. It will only make matters worse if you persist. It's as well you told her, but now you have to respect her decision and go away. Sorry.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

anachronistic12345 said:


> No. But you don't have to worry since it's not going to amount to anything according to you, right?


So this could literally be a catfish situation… have you sent any money or gifts?


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Beach123 said:


> have you sent any money or gifts?


I'm not a moron


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> No. But you don't have to worry since it's not going to amount to anything according to you, right?


That is an excellent attitude for failure in any endeavor as is ignoring what is likely in front of you. Your sour attitude suggests you have noticed that many who commented agree in one way or another that your lady friend does not love you as you love her. You came here for answers and they have been provided to you regardless of your hopes wants, and dreams. Dating reality and fantasy don't mesh well together. Just like your actual situation you are free to accept what you like and ignore the rest. Ignoring the truth of your situation will not alter it.

You made your intentions quite clear to this woman. You spelled it out for her. What was her response? "confused."
_I wrote other things aside from that, *but she would not touch that particular part of my message, noticeably...*_

The answer you seek can be found in your question and your initial post:

_"A women who neither rejects or reciprocate a "I love you" message, *probably loves you*?_ You mean you are hoping she loves you. If she neither rejects or reciprocates that suggests she is feeding you breadcrumbs to keep you around for whatever use she gets out of you.

*I believe that she does*_, and not just for that reason. *She pushes the "abort mission" button whenever we get emotionally close*, indicating that I am not neutral for her, which is a start...

*But I don't know:*)"_

The key items are in bold. *You believe that she loves you*.... *but you don't know.* Actions define all people. Even those that are accomplished liars. What do her actions tell you? *She pushes the "abort mission" button whenever we get emotionally close. *If she had any sincere concern that you might use her or hurt her she would have said she would like to take things slow. She hasn't said that to you. She has remained neutral and "confused." She does not want you but she does not want you to go away either. That would suggest she is using you in one way or another and would not like to lose whatever you have been providing should you move on.

I made many mistakes dating. My ex wife as a primary example of poor choice. I also made many more dating mistakes after I was divorced. Some of the things I learned I have already shared with you. If a woman is interested/attracted to you *she will try to get close to you*. She will not abort. She will find just as many reasons to spend time with you as you can with her. If she is attracted to you she will find an excuse to touch you - hand on your forearm, brushing against you, asking for a hug, etc She will press for closeness just as much as you will for the same reasons. 

You aren't getting any of this from her. She is neutral and "confused." She has also avoided talking about whatever else you confessed feeling towards her. That isn't proof she loves you quite the opposite. You can continue to wait on her to see if her disposition will change. What you will likely see is her take up with another while you are left waiting in the wings. Life is short. Don't waste it on a person that is treating you like an option instead of a priority.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

marko polo said:


> That is an excellent attitude for failure in any endeavor as is ignoring what is likely in front of you. Your sour attitude suggests you have noticed that many who commented agree in one way or another that your lady friend does not love you as you love her. You came here for answers and they have been provided to you regardless of your hopes wants, and dreams. Dating reality and fantasy don't mesh well together. Just like your actual situation you are free to accept what you like and ignore the rest. Ignoring the truth of your situation will not alter it.
> 
> You made your intentions quite clear to this woman. You spelled it out for her. What was her response? "confused."
> _I wrote other things aside from that, *but she would not touch that particular part of my message, noticeably...*_
> ...


You seem to have a very simplistic world view, including that of human motivation and emotions.

I once acted the way you assert to be incompatible with attraction, to a girl I really liked. It's not always black and white.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> You seem to have a very simplistic world view, including that of human motivation and emotions.
> 
> I once acted the way you assert to be incompatible with attraction, to a girl I really liked. It's not always black and white.


You have come here to spar. Is that the purpose of your post? A little passive aggressive nonsense for whomever disagrees with your fantasy? Workout your dating frustrations?

I have a practical view of the world. Many people are selfish, short sighted and others often choose to ignore what is in front of them vs what is actually there. If you don't like what I have to say ignore it.

Here is your black and white - If she cared for you the way you cared for her she would not be neutral and confused.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Women can be just friends with men they are not attracted to all day long just like they are friends with girlfriends. You'd rather make her out to be adled than to know her own mind. I think she's probably confusing as of why you're coming on to her when you've never even met which of course means she does not share your emotions.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Don't walk, run. Run away. Do not pass go, do not collect $ 200. Face the facts. She's just not that in to you. Don't waste your time.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Women can be just friends with men


She has written me spontaneously but pulls back when causual chatting really gets going. So she definitely doesn't want that either.

That's why I say it's complex and I am not clear on if this is her true nature or if she is fighting against her own conflicted emotions. 

There is no fun hearted teasing involved either. This is not mind games. It's something else


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She has written me spontaneously but pulls back when causual chatting really gets going. So she definitely doesn't want that either.
> 
> That's why I say it's complex and I am not clear on if this is her true nature or if she is fighting against her own conflicted emotions.
> 
> There is no fun hearted teasing involved either. This is not mind games. It's something else


Pull back for the time being. Go incommunicado and live your life and see if she contacts you with something more substantial than just hi.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> and see if she contacts you with something more substantial than just hi.





jonty30 said:


> Pull back for the time being. Go incommunicado and live your life and see if she contacts you with something more substantial than just hi.


This has been going on for a while. She originally dissed me via text. We later hook up again and play a game online. No hard feelings.

I name a song that I think she likes based on nothing but intuition (I don't know her music preference). 

It's her favorite song. 

Then she reverts back to abort mission


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> This has been going on for a while. She originally dissed me via text. We later hook up again and play a game online. No hard feelings.
> 
> I name a song that I think she likes based on nothing but intuition (I don't know her music preference).
> 
> ...


If she is being indecisive, pulling back will help her become more decisive.
It's typical for many young guys to think that women have secret intentions, when the women are being reasonably obvious in their actions.
You are best to assume that her actions are showing her intentions. You are her buddy and video game playing friend. 
Don't read more into it than what she is showing.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She has written me spontaneously but pulls back when causual chatting really gets going. So she definitely doesn't want that either.
> 
> That's why I say it's complex and I am not clear on if this is her true nature or if she is fighting against her own conflicted emotions.
> 
> There is no fun hearted teasing involved either. This is not mind games. It's something else


You've watched too many dramatic movies. She pulls back because she's not interested in you romantically. So she doesn't want to get too thick with you and now she knows for sure you want more than she does. You're just going to be wasting your time on her going forward. It's happened to all of us. She's not feeble.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Ya’ll never even met each other !!!!


anachronistic12345 said:


> No. But you don't have to worry since it's not going to amount to anything according to you, right?


You haven’t even met each other !!!!!

Well there it is !!!! You are a desperate creeper who throws out I love you to someone they never met. It’s not I love you that she is trying to prevent… she is trying to prevent puking in her mouth.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Why haven’t you met? How do you know she isn’t married?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Beach123 said:


> Why haven’t you met? How do you know she isn’t married?


It’s online game chatting 🙄


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> It’s online game chatting 🙄


Playing lots of hours takes a lot of commitment.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

She does not love you. It seems like you are being way too needy. If she loved you she'd say it.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

How old are you?

Why are you wasting time with this person. Really, why?

She's broken and dysfunctional. This is not a healthy mutual happy situation. 

I think you should explore why you are wasting so much time and energy trying to analyze this person, and perhaps do some research about what a healthy dating and relationship dynamic looks and feels like. Because what you have ain't it.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

[


Mr.Married said:


> Ya’ll never even met each other !!!!
> 
> 
> You haven’t even met each other !!!!!
> ...


How old are you?? People meet online every day.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Livvie said:


> How old are you?
> 
> Why are you wasting time with this person. Really, why?
> 
> She's broken and dysfunctional. This is not a healthy mutual happy situation.


Yes she is, but so am I.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

There is nothing here. She is OK playing a game with you but she doesn't want anything else. Do not make a pest of yourself.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anachronistic12345 said:


> [
> 
> 
> How old are you?? People meet online every day.


People waste precious time pursuing people online who they will actually never really know if they don't meet offline.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Yes she is, but so am I.


Well if your are both broken and dysfunctional, carry on...


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

This is hard to read. A video game chat and you think you’re in love.

“we hook up again and play a game together”
Dude, guys “hook up” now…. It doesn’t mean playing a video game. 

get off the game and meet a real woman. There’s 4 billion and they’re all looking for a man. Enjoy


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> This is hard to read. A video game chat and you think you’re in love.
> 
> “we hook up again and play a game together”
> Dude, guys “hook up” now…. It doesn’t mean playing a video game.
> ...


"We played a game" has more meanings than gameing.

Aspies?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

anachronistic12345 said:


> "We played a game" has more meanings than gameing.
> 
> Aspies?


you found me out… Curses!

Did you ever give your age? Are you against a physical relationship? Meeting people in person?


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> Are you against a physical relationship? Meeting people in person?


Hell no. I want to meet her.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Hell no. I want to meet her.


So ask her out and if she says no you can move in to the other 3.99999999999 billion


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> So ask her out and if she says no you can move in to the other 3.99999999999 billion


She is "not that interested" in doing that. 

I don't know about you, but I noticed a "that".


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She is "not that interested" in doing that.
> 
> I don't know about you, but I noticed a "that".


That's a no. You've got to stop being one of those people who will hang on to any little shred of hope because women are usually not going to be extremely blunt and will cushion their answer so as to avoid hurting someone's feelings even though they have no romantic interest in them.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's a no. You've got to stop being one of those people who will hang on to any little shred of hope because women are usually not going to be extremely blunt and will cushion their answer so as to avoid hurting someone's feelings even though they have no romantic interest in them.


I put a I love you sign next to a quirk of her. She has repeated that quirk since that time.

I think she's bluffing.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

You could always pass her heart shaped notes at recess.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> You could always pass her heart shaped notes at recess.


She is not a sentimental girl at all, which is part of the kick for me. But I love her. Pretty sure of that (never know for sure online).


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She is not a sentimental girl at all, which is part of the kick for me. But I love her. Pretty sure of that (never know for sure online).


You have a serious disconnect in your perception of love and relationships. You are definitely a creeper and her dad will kick your a$$ if you don’t cool off. You seriously need to let it go.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> You have a serious disconnect in your perception of love and relationships. You are definitely a creeper and her dad will kick your a$$ if you don’t cool off. You seriously need to let it go.


There's no daddy there. Oh well....


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Are you autistic? I’m not joking. It would explain everything.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> Are you autistic? I’m not joking. It would explain everything.


IQ would too, but let's add the personal insult while we are at it!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> IQ would too, but let's add the personal insult while we are at it!


He's not insulting you personally, he is really asking because he's trying to understand your perspective, because you are asking for advice and then rejecting ALL of it if it doesn't fit what you want things to mean.

Also, your posting style and method tends to be cryptic and vague as well - you don't explain things clearly, and you haven't answered some specific questions.

If you were autistic, that might explain what is difficult to understand about you.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> He's not insulting you personally, he is really asking because he's trying to understand your perspective, because you are asking for advice and then rejecting ALL of it if it doesn't fit what you want things to mean.
> 
> Also, your posting style and method tends to be cryptic and vague as well - you don't explain things clearly, and you haven't answered some specific questions.
> 
> If you were autistic, that might explain what is difficult to understand about you.


I am more interested in where to go from here. This woman and I have a hard time being apart. We wouldn't have reached the "guess my song" stage if we weren't... It takes two to tango.

Can longer time apart get her drop her guard?


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

OP is


anachronistic12345 said:


> I am more interested in where to go from here. This woman and I have a hard time being apart. We wouldn't have reached the "guess my song" stage if we weren't... It takes two to tango.
> 
> Can longer time apart get her drop her guard?


dude, you’ve never met her in person. You are always apart!


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> OP is
> 
> dude, you’ve never met her in person. You are always apart!
> View attachment 83608


She's probably crazier than I, which should tell you something.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I put a I love you sign next to a quirk of her. She has repeated that quirk since that time.
> 
> I think she's bluffing.


Sounds like you're going to believe what you want to believe no matter how little sense it makes.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Sounds like you're going to believe what you want to believe no matter how little sense it makes.


Why would that not make sense? You wouldn't spot a pattern if it hit you in the face.


----------



## 24NitroglyceriN26 (11 mo ago)

anachronistic12345 said:


> What would you women say, first instinct?
> 
> I believe that she does, and not just for that reason. She pushes the "abort mission" button whenever we get emotionally close, indicating that I am not neutral for her, which is a start...
> 
> But I don't know


Once it becomes gamey, it is a moot point. If she does't/plays then I say pull the practice and simply ask her to not comment when you express your love, if you do.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Bull Frog Kisser said:


> Once it becomes gamey, it is a moot point. If she does't/plays then I say pull the practice and simply ask her to not comment when you express your love, if you do.


I don't think this is a game. No smileys involved.

But I don't know if this this emotional shell is artificial or not. The reason I suspect some sort of supressed feelings is that she thinks prolonged chatting is trouble too. But she does talk to me on and off. 

Hard to explain.


----------



## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

How do you come to the conclusion that her non interest equates to loving you?


----------



## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She is "not that interested" in doing that.
> 
> I don't know about you, but I noticed a "that".


You really can’t take a hint, can you? Seriously, she’s not into you. She’s playing a game, literally, and you think you’re falling in love. Keep it up and I suspect that the ghosting will begin in 5…. 4…. 3…. 2….


----------



## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I am more interested in where to go from here. This woman and I have a hard time being apart. We wouldn't have reached the "guess my song" stage if we weren't... It takes two to tango.
> 
> Can longer time apart get her drop her guard?


No.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Beach123 said:


> How do you come to the conclusion that her non interest equates to loving you?


Part of it is just my gut instinct. There is also an akwardness about it. I am clearly sensitive to her, even when we patch things up.

If we never heard from each other again, then I would take her at her word. But we did, and she wasn't freaked out by me. So I don't buy into what she says. But I do believe her that she doesn't want to meet me as of right now.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Why would that not make sense? You wouldn't spot a pattern if it hit you in the face.


What would make sense is if she had reciprocated what you said if that's how she felt but she didn't so now you're trying to look for hidden messages which is delusional.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> What would make sense is if she had reciprocated what you said if that's how she felt but she didn't so now you're trying to look for hidden messages which is delusional.


If we lived in a black and white world, it would.


----------



## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

anachronistic12345 said:


> If we lived in a black and white world, it would.


You don’t actually know where she lives, do you?


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Why would that not make sense? You wouldn't spot a pattern if it hit you in the face.


She is from two generations before you (at least)....I trust HER perceptions more than yours by a long shot, and sometimes more than my own!!!

You would be wise to LISTEN, OBSERVE, and then form your opinions...however, you will not, I don't think.
But that's ok, because the reason most of us can see what you are dealing with better than you are able to is because we were once like you are being right now, and we got kicked in the teeth a few times...so...

Whether you listen to anyone on here or not, the outcome will be the same for you, I believe.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anachronistic12345 said:


> If we lived in a black and white world, it would.


Here's what a realistic response would look like if she reciprocated. You say I love you and she says, 
Awww, that's sweet. I really like you too, but of course, we don't even know each other because we've never met, so....


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> She is from two generations before you (at least)....I trust HER perceptions more than yours by a long shot, and sometimes more than my own!!!


What does her age have to do with anything?


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> What does her age have to do with anything?


 

Oh UGH....

Please remember asking me that question, because in about 30yrs, you are going to facepalm so hard, you might knock yourself out!


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Realize though, he doesn’t really know. He can’t answer. SHE may be an old dude in his underwear in his mom’s basement.
They’ve not met in person.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You may as well know right now that if a woman isn't interested in you, you can't argue her into changing her mind or be so persistent that she falls madly in love with you. You might wear her down so she talks to you simply because you won't stop talking to her, but she'll just think you're a creep who can't take no for an answer. No answer is no. Beating around the bush and avoiding being direct is also no. The only thing that is yes is she says "I love you" back or something like "We need to meet in person soon or else we'll never really know what each other is like," which is a maybe but only if I like you in person a lot. 

Why not just cut to the chase and ask her if she'll meet you for a date somewhere in between where you two live so you can meet in person? That will get you an answer real quick and you won't need to sit around and wonder and guess and play games.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You may as well know right now that if a woman isn't interested in you, you can't argue her into changing her mind or be so persistent that she falls madly in love with you. You might wear her down so she talks to you simply because you won't stop talking to her, but she'll just think you're a creep who can't take no for an answer. No answer is no. Beating around the bush and avoiding being direct is also no. The only thing that is yes is she says "I love you" back or something like "We need to meet in person soon or else we'll never really know what each other is like," which is a maybe but only if I like you in person a lot.
> 
> Why not just cut to the chase and ask her if she'll meet you for a date somewhere in between where you two live so you can meet in person? That will get you an answer real quick and you won't need to sit around and wonder and guess and play games.


I did and I got a not "that" interested, which means there is some interest.

I have run out of ideas but I don't want to pass on her either.

I will leave it up to her, obviously. But what if I am in a relationship by then?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I did and I got a not "that" interested, which means there is some interest.
> 
> I have run out of ideas but I don't want to pass on her either.
> 
> I will leave it up to her, obviously. But what if I am in a relationship by then?


Yeah. That was a no. A maybe would have been, Oh, that would be fun. Maybe if we both save our money we can do that next year. A yes would have been, That sounds great. I'd love to finally meet you.

Best way to get in a real relationship is for you to go out in public doing hobbies and activities where others do them too, whether it's jogging or kayaking or going to a music gig or taking a class that's not online where you'll meet real people and it's a lot easier to read them.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I did not ask you about the best way to get into a relationship. I asked IF I was in a relationship.REDACTED


Well, I can see what her hesitation is....you are very unpleasantly demanding and aggressive...and rigid. Most women don't like that.

The reason she answered you that way is because she was uncomfortable with your interest. Maybe she feels like you push too hard, and she's afraid to say no and have you get angry. Reading your responses on here, that's the feeling I get from you as a woman.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> Well, I can see what her hesitation is....you are very unpleasantly demanding and aggressive...and rigid. Most women don't like that.
> 
> The reason she answered you that way is because she was uncomfortable with your interest. Maybe she feels like you push too hard, and she's afraid to say no and have you get angry. Reading your responses on here, that's the feeling I get from you as a woman.


Possible. She was the one that had an attitude towards me, though. Out of nowhere. 

I asked her if something was wrong and she said no, nothing at all.

That shift also made me wonder if something has happened with her emotionally.

I have been with a girl in person who became rude and fell in love with me. This is online and more of a stretch. But she has seen me so who knows.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Prick? Lol, you’re a young person. So young you haven’t learned much about manners and have a whole lot to learn about women.
Good luck


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

It would be a good name for a band.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> Prick? Lol, you’re a young person. So young you haven’t learned much about manners and have a whole lot to learn about women.
> Good luck


I am not that young. She's 27ish, if that helps. A number of years younger than me, but below 10.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

If somebody goes out of their way to act differently towards you, yet you still engage with each other on and off, something is up. Anybody can see that. The problem here is that her strong emotions are not in my favor, and it does not appear to be temporary. 

Could I be completely deluded? Yes, but she sure acted strangely by "coming back" and in a sense restart the relationship. 

The wishful part of my thinking is that the closed offness that she exhibits is just an act.. It probably isn't. But I don't think it's at this degree. This is hopeless 

And she has been in relationships...


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> If somebody goes out of their way to act differently towards you, yet you still engage with each other on and off, something is up. Anybody can see that. The problem here is that her strong emotions are not in my favor, and it does not appear to be temporary.
> 
> Could I be completely deluded? Yes, but she sure acted strangely by "coming back" and in a sense restart the relationship.
> 
> ...


Woman want to maintain contact with the men they are romantically inclined to want to be with. 
If you haven't met her and she's not wanting to meet you, you're probably reading more into her mindset than what is there.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> Woman want to maintain contact with the men they are romantically inclined to want to be with.
> If you haven't met her and she's not wanting to meet you, you're probably reading more into her mindset than what is there.


I learned that she is not feeling super (to put it mildy).

Which is interesting because I did ask her about that earlier on, if something was bugging her, and she said: no, not at all. 

Could have made it a bit easier..


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I learned that she is not feeling super (to put it mildy).
> 
> Which is interesting because I did ask her about that earlier on, if something was bugging her, and she said: no, not at all.
> 
> Could have made it a bit easier..


Woman don't like to be direct in many cases. 
They still want to maintain the relationship they have with you, your video game one, just not the one that you were hoping for.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> Woman don't like to be direct in many cases.
> They still want to maintain the relationship they have with you, your video game one, just not the one that you were hoping for.


First of all it wasn't gameing. Second of all, she did not want to do that originally.

And so I figured the dust has settled, she thinks I'm alright. A change in her original disposition.

Nope....


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> First of all it wasn't gameing. Second of all, she did not want to do that originally.
> 
> And so I figured the dust has settled, she thinks I'm alright. A change in her original disposition.
> 
> Nope....


Let me be clear with you, you did nothing wrong. 
As far as we can tell, she wasn't interested in a deeper relationship than she had with you. 
That's ok.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

[/QUOTE]


jonty30 said:


> Let me be clear with you, you did nothing wrong.
> As far as we can tell, she wasn't interested in a deeper relationship than she had with you.
> That's ok.


My point was that she was not being truthful with me. I don't think it's meaningful to go by what she says or does. 

Someone made the claim that people usually get these perceptions wrong. 

Really? It’s common for people to mistake romantic interests for loving them? I can't think of too many times where that has even crossed my mind...


----------



## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

When people play these games - it makes any relationship ship so difficult.

Why wouldn’t you just want to date an honest gal that knows and shows her true feelings?


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Beach123 said:


> When people play these games - it makes any relationship ship so difficult.
> 
> Why wouldn’t you just want to date an honest gal that knows and shows her true feelings?


This explains it below


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Beach123 said:


> Why wouldn’t you just want to date an honest gal that knows and shows her true feelings?


It’s not my criteria for partner selection. The main thing is to meet someone fun, stimulating, and intelligent. My opinion of this gal has not fluctuated despite her odd behavior. There is a core to her being that I like. I am not infatuated as of right now. 

There is one thing about her that I don't like as far as lifestyle goes, but I like everything about her personally. If she was a complete UFO with no prior relationships, then I would have the concerns that you raise.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Eventually you will join MGTOW and run innocent people over with a van.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> Eventually you will join MGTOW and run innocent people over with a van.


Did it feel better now?


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Since I have been written off as a creep....

Let's see how you explain this one... 

I had written to her about a vision I had about meeting a girl who is into history. She denies feeling any connection to me. 

Laterr when our paths intertwined for a second time and we had a little fun she said "I have to go, but here's this thing from the middle ages.." 

.. 

Did she not reveal herself there on purpose? She knows it's her and she wants me to know?


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Since I have been written off as a creep....
> 
> Let's see how you explain this one...
> 
> ...


so she flat out told you she feels no connection to you and you’re STILL pursuing her?
Cmon man.

there are 4 billion of those varmints out there. Why mess with one that tells you that?


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> so she flat out told you she feels no connection to you and you’re STILL pursuing her?
> Cmon man.
> 
> there are 4 billion of those varmints out there. Why mess with one that tells you that?


Did you read the full post?


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Did you read the full post?


Yes. I did. This girl you’re after is loving you chasing her, but isn’t really interested in you catching her. Do you see the difference?

Even if (and she isn’t, she’s made that clear) you caught her, she wouldn’t respect you, would know you’d be her doormat, and she would just take off on you.

Find yourself a woman that likes you as much as you her.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sigh. Whatever happened to the good old days when she ripped your ****ing clothes off as her tongue massages your tonsils?


----------



## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> What would you women say, first instinct?
> 
> I believe that she does, and not just for that reason. She pushes the "abort mission" button whenever we get emotionally close, indicating that I am not neutral for her, which is a start...
> 
> But I don't know


If the verbal don't match the actions, and one reciprocates more than the other, or holds back, or you feel you are getting the short end of the stick, mutually fix it. If it's broke, you don't feel loved get the front door out.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> Sigh. Whatever happened to the good old days when she ripped your ****ing clothes off as her tongue massages your tonsils?


She loves doing that so I aint giving up on her just yet. But right now pretty dead...


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She loves doing that so I aint giving up on her just yet. But right now pretty dead...


What? I thought you hadn’t even met her?


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> What? I thought you hadn’t even met her?


You know there's a thing called chat? It’s form of communication using electronic letters to form sentences.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> You know there's a thing called chat? It’s form of communication using electronic letters to form sentences.


So you haven't met her. 
That's what we've been saying, but you kept implying that you did. 
You've added a whole bunch of emotions on texts without knowing the entire context of her words. 
What you had was a video game buddy, that's all.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

anachronistic12345 said:


> S*he loves doing that so I aint giving up on her just yet. *But right now pretty dead...


The way you said that, I thought she has ripped your clothes off and tickled your tonsils.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> So you haven't met her.
> That's what we've been saying, but you kept implying that you did.


Not so. "Been in touch" does not equate face to face contact.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Not so. "Been in touch" does not equate face to face contact.


Do what you want, but we are telling you as direct as we can that you don't have the relationship with her that you think you do.
It's virtual at best and that was the level of relationship that she wanted from you, that's all.
You did nothing wrong in suggesting more than you had, but her response was that wasn't where she was at and isn't likely to meet you half way.
As somebody has said, in another thread, a man never has to chase a woman because she will chase him if she is interested in him. 
If she wasn't trying to get closer to you, she wasn't intending to.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> Do what you want, but we are telling you as direct as we can that you don't have the relationship with her that you think you do.
> It's virtual at best and that was the level of relationship that she wanted from you, that's all.


I had a dream about her! Before this ever happened. It's my girlfriend in the dream. I am not kidding. The girl had the EXACT same disposition towards me.

She starts off by saying some diss/insult to me. I can't identify who she is in relation to me. I then proceed to hug her and she says "my heart is beating very fast" and she lets go of her guard, and I feel love times a thousand. Then I wake up.

I don't even realise this until later. I never have romantic dreams of any kind.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I had a dream about her! Before this ever happened. It's my girlfriend in the dream. I am not kidding. The girl had the EXACT same disposition towards me.
> 
> She starts off by saying some diss/insult to me. I can't identify who she is in relation to me. I then proceed to hug her and she says "my heart is beating very fast" and she lets go of her guard, and I feel love times a thousand. Then I wake up.
> 
> I don't even realise this until later. I never have romantic dreams of any kind.


I've had good dreams as well.
They are fun to enjoy them as they are.

My latest dream was that I was living in a gothic style house, that had a crocodile in the basement. It was in an area that was infested with crocodiles. I had a bunch of pets in the dream and I spent the dream saving my pets from all these crocodiles. 
It was freaky, but I enjoyed the dream.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> I've had good dreams as well.
> They are fun to enjoy them as they are.


I told her about it! So I ask her: "is there something here? "I trust you on this".

- "I probably don't know what you are talking about"


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I told her about it! So I ask her: "is there something here? "I trust you on this".
> 
> - "I probably don't know what you are talking about"


There's your answer. 
You probably dreamed about a hope that you had inside you, but it just wasn't true.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> There's your answer.
> You probably dreamed about a hope that you had inside you, but it just wasn't true.


It was two months prior. 

Another strange incident....We casually talk about "making a move on someone". She gives the absurd reply that I should not make a move on her.

I get upset and tell her that's it. Goodbye. 

She writes back "confused" sign a few hours later. 5 in the morning.

What's wrong with her?


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> It was two months prior.
> 
> Another strange incident....We casually talk about "making a move on someone". She gives the absurd reply that I should not make a move on her.
> 
> ...


She was trying to let you down gently, while maintaining the relationship she had with you. You were an enjoyable virtual friend to her and that's all she wanted from you.
You can either accept that virtual friendship as it was or accept that she won't be anything more than that and go look for somebody who can be more than that virtual friend to you.
Those are the two choices that you have in the matter.
She's not going to become anything more than that to you, so that's not an option.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> It was two months prior.
> 
> Another strange incident....We casually talk about "making a move on someone". She gives the absurd reply that I should not make a move on her.
> 
> ...


I should mention that you're not the only one who has interpreted a dream as a message of romance. There are people here who either did the same and left the marriage or their spouse did it to them and left the marriage.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> I should mention that you're not the only one who has interpreted a dream as a message of romance. There are people here who either did the same and left the marriage or their spouse did it to them and left the marriage.


It wasn't romance in the dream until I hugged said person. There was repressed emotions in the woman that I hugged. I can construct a dream but not the woman online, and this connection didn't dawn on me until later.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

That dream is not reality. In your dream you changed the woman's mind. How romantic. In reality when you pursue a woman after she has repeatedly said NO! you are a stalker. That is a crime. 

Back off & leave her alone. She does not want you & never will. I am being so blunt but you are being intentionally obtuse.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

She has romantic dreams also …. About when she has to call the police on a loser that is stalking her. Nothing says romantic love like handcuffs. Don’t worry though because while in jail you can mail her your ear and maybe one of your lips.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

I know


LisaDiane said:


> I am NOT guaranteeing that this is what is going on with the woman you are pursuing...you have been much too vague, and we can't see her behavior enough to interpret it with any type of accuracy.
> 
> I just wanted to point out that emotional problems DO NOT unfold the way Hollywood would have us think. There isn't some crisis moment that brings change and healthy relating skills...any change at all can only come FROM HER. It has to be what she sees in herself and what she wants for your relationship, on her own.
> 
> If she is as emotionally remote as my mother was, I don't see much hope of a different outcome. My step-dad was a perfect husband to her, totally supportive and loving...and he still got crumbs from her and then NOTHING.


 Know what you mean. My sister and I used to hope dad would leave our mom and find someone who loved him. It was a love/hate relationship. He had so much resentment toward her but he loved her until the end. She now has a lot of regret about how she treated him. 

Now she is a widow, alone in that big house. I call her about every 2 weeks when I remember to because I feel like I am supposed to. Sister calls her maybe weekly.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

There was a girl that used to call my roommate in college. Shauna...crazy I remember that from 30 years ago. They talked for hours, phone sex the whole 9 yards. He was in love. Found out there was another guy..he was pissed and was out looking for dude with a shotgun. Later it came to light that this was a 14 yr old girl carrying on "phone based relationships" with several college guys at same time. It is how she got her kicks.


----------



## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> That dream is not reality. In your dream you changed the woman's mind. How romantic. In reality when you pursue a woman after she has repeatedly said NO! you are a stalker. That is a crime.
> 
> Back off & leave her alone. She does not want you & never will. I am being so blunt but you are being intentionally obtuse.


No. It is my girlfriend in the dream.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> She has romantic dreams also …. About when she has to call the police on a loser that is stalking her. Nothing says romantic love like handcuffs. Don’t worry though because while in jail you can mail her your ear and maybe one of your lips.


You are nothing but a hateful occurence. An intellectual lightweight that I can verbally pulverize at will. Go ahead, take another shot.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

I made it clear now that I am moving on and got a date.

Even if I am right about this hole mess, I don't think she has the courage to profess her true feelings. But It's possible that she's upset.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I made it clear now that I am moving on and got a date.
> 
> Even if I am right about this hole mess, I don't think she has the courage to profess her true feelings. But It's possible that she's upset.


She certainly has enough courage to tell you no multiple times.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> She certainly has enough courage to tell you no multiple times.


So time to see if she was for real.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

anachronistic12345 said:


> So time to see if she was for real.


Dude, she's for real. In case that you haven't figured out yet, she's the woman from Tinder. And no, she does not love you, she and her hot and awesome roommate (lover) finally (I think) got you. So when you go to that date you'll be send to heaven. I just wonder 🤔 if you'll have a smile in your face. Probably not. Hey, at least you'll be finally sure if she loved 😍 you or not. Not.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)




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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> Dude, she's for real.


We're chatting again. Oh boy...


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> We're chatting again. Oh boy...


Why are you torturing yourself with this pipe dream? Do you even know where she lives or what she looks like, or has this been a text only "relationship"?


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Why are you torturing yourself with this pipe dream? Do you even know where she lives or what she looks like, or has this been a text only "relationship"?


I feel like that dude who was destined to F his own mother.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I made it clear now that I am moving on and got a date.
> 
> Even if I am right about this hole mess, I don't think she has the courage to profess her true feelings. But It's possible that she's upset.


She has told you her true feelings. She told you not to make a move on her. Every time you bring up more than friendship, she shuts you down but you just keep coming back for more & refuse to see the truth.



anachronistic12345 said:


> We're chatting again. Oh boy...


Oh boy . . . is right. She's fine being your friend but she has zero romantic interest in you. Did you ever manage to go on a date with somebody else? The best way to get over her for you is going to be under somebody else.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I feel like that dude who was destined to F his own mother.


Oedipus? what does that have to do with any of this? lol


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Oedipus? what does that have to do with any of this? lol


I have pulled the plug on her three times, yet there is still this sensation of not wanting or being able to let go of her. Even though there's political things we disagree on, I still adore her. She's this cute little ufo with a potty mouth. You don't come across them that often. I think she's an aspie like me. Although I am not a classical aspie. I understand irony. But I am an aspie "internally".


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I have pulled the plug on her three times, yet there is still this sensation of not wanting or being able to let go of her. Even though we there's political things we disagree on, I still adore her. She's this cute little ufo with a potty mouth. You don't come across them that often. I think she's an aspie like me. Although I am not a classical aspie. I understand irony. But I am an aspie "internally".


Have you ever seen her and do you know how close she is to where you live?


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Have you ever seen her and do you know how close she is to where you live?


No but others have and she's pretty hot from what I can decipher reading the comments. She took the picture down. It's in a forum. Probably looks like me, in a female version. That's the vibe I got. 

She's about 5 years younger (27) which is the perfect age for me. The biological clock isn't rushing. 

She lives 4 and half hours away from me by train. I do have a friend there in case I want to stay for the night. I would rather travel to her. I live in a **** city compared to her. 

She has a brilliant mind. I would want to meet her even if we don't hook up.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I think she's an aspie like me.


Ahhh. . . that explains a lot. My cousin is an Aspie. Honey you aren't reading the social cues correctly. She is telling you that she's not interested in you romantically. You just aren't getting that. The wires are crossed in your processing center. 

Friendship is all there is here. Stop pushing for romance or you will lose the friendship too. She probably isns't interested in you coming there. The on line thing you have going on is all she wants. She also knows that if she agrees to a meet you are going to think it's something more. Sorry.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> No but others have and she's pretty hot from what I can decipher reading the comments. She took the picture down. It's in a forum. Probably looks like me, in a female version. That's the vibe I got.
> 
> She's about 5 years younger (27) which is the perfect age for me. The biological clock isn't rushing.
> 
> ...


I know you keep trying to read into her responses to you for some sign that she may be interested in a romantic relationship with you, but based on what you have posted her intent is pretty plain to me and I think most other reading this. She isn't interested in moving beyond an online chat friendship. I think you are suffering from "hopium". I think your best interest is better served by moving on. How long has this online friendship been going on?


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I know you keep trying to read into her responses to you for some sign that she may be interested in a romantic relationship with you, but based on what you have posted her intent is pretty plain to me and I think most other reading this. She isn't interested in moving beyond an online chat friendship. I think you are suffering from "hopium". I think your best interest is better served by moving on. How long has this online friendship been going on?


It tried to be friends but she didn't want that either. She teased it for a bit and then shut it down. I think she has feelings for me or fear of developing them or else she wouldn't do that..and it's incredibly annoying. 

It's been going on since December 2021. 

We are very much alike and she doesn't deny it either.. Maybe it's a bad idea, but I'm confident it would be a fun, bad idea.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> It tried to be friends but she didn't want that either. She teased it for a bit and then shut it down. I think she has feelings for me or fear of developing them or else she wouldn't do that..and it's incredibly annoying.
> 
> It's been going on since December 2021.
> 
> We are very much alike and she doesn't deny it either.. Maybe it's a bad idea, but I'm confident it would be a fun, bad idea.


So not only doesn't she want to be in a romantic relationship with you, but she doesn't even want a friendship either? Sorry, I think you have the annoying part reversed. I suspect that she is annoyed that you can't take the hint that she doesn't want any relationship with you other than an occasional online chat. What is making you interpret a no to romance and a no to friends as meaning she has feelings for you? Sounds like you are in a one sided limerence that is clouding your judgement.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> So not only doesn't she want to be in a romantic relationship with you, but she doesn't even want a friendship either? Sorry, I think you have the annoying part reversed. I suspect that she is annoyed that you can't take the hint that she doesn't want any relationship with you other than an occasional online chat. What is making you interpret a no to romance and a no to friends as meaning she has feelings for you? Sounds like you are in a one sided limerence that is clouding your judgement.


She is happy to casually chat with everybody else. I knew an aspie girl that was secretely in love with me, like crazy. She wouldn't even say hello back in the lunch room..
I recognize the pattern.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She is happy to casually chat with anybody else. I knew an aspie girl that was secretely in love with me, like crazy. She wouldn't even say hello back in the lunch room..
> I recognize the pattern.


So she chats with others in the same way she does with you. How are you different from the others she chats with such that you are the only one she is secretly in love with? Have you asked her if she actually has Asperger syndrome or are you just assuming?

Also curious, how did you know this other woman was crazy in love with you if she wouldn't even say hello to you? I think you are throwing around the word love very loosely. Someone that can't even say hello to you (meaning you've never even had a real conversation) is not in love with you. They could have some kind of infatuation or crush, but not love.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I had a dream about her! Before this ever happened. It's my girlfriend in the dream. I am not kidding. The girl had the EXACT same disposition towards me.





anachronistic12345 said:


> So time to see if she was for real.





anachronistic12345 said:


> I feel like that dude who was destined to F his own mother.





anachronistic12345 said:


> tried to be friends but she didn't want that either. She teased it for a bit and then shut it down. I think she has feelings for me or fear of developing them





anachronistic12345 said:


> I knew an aspie girl that was secretely in love with me, like crazy.





anachronistic12345 said:


> *I recognize the pattern.*


What you are not recognizing is your own pattern. It seems that it is you who have a mental instability that is keeping you in a delusional state that manifest itself the moment a woman just takes a glance at you. 

Now that will be $250 for the consultation. half price today because it's you. See, I just saved you a few bucks by not needing to go to a quack. And with the price of gasoline this days, it's a deal.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> So she chats with others in the same way she does with you. How are you different from the others she chats with such that you are the only one she is secretly in love with? Have you asked her if she actually has Asperger syndrome or are you just assuming?
> 
> Also curious, how did you know this other woman was crazy in love with you if she wouldn't even say hello to you? I think you are throwing around the word love very loosely. Someone that can't even say hello to you (meaning you've never even had a real conversation) is not in love with you. They could have some kind of infatuation or crush, but not love.


I wrote that she won't casually chat with me, except for small teases.

I know that the other aspie woman was madly in love because colleagues told me that she talked about me when I wasn't in the room, with silly admiration over someone she hasn't even said hello to, and they asked me to be nice to her. She was completely obsessed with me according to them.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I wrote that she won't casually chat with me, except for small teases.
> 
> I know that the other aspie woman was madly in love because colleagues told me that she talked about me when I wasn't in the room, with silly admiration over someone she hasn't even said hello to, and they asked me to be nice to her. She was completely obsessed with me according to them.


You are just assuming she has Asperger syndrome. Since your whole thought process about her secretly being in love with you is predicated on her being an "aspie", don't you think it would be a good idea to ask her?


BTW, the other woman was not in love with you. Obsession is not the same as love.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You are just assuming she has Asperger syndrome. Since your whole thought process about her secretly being in love with you is predicated on her being an "aspie", don't you think it would be a good idea to ask her?
> 
> 
> BTW, the other woman was not in love with you. Obsession is not the same as love.


They told me that she was in love with me! I am quite sure this girl is an aspie based on overall characteristic, lifestyle as well as ADHD.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

She has confirmed ADHD and her lifestyle is the same as mine (maladjusted) 

An estimated *30 to 80 percent* of children with autism also meet the criteria for ADHD and, conversely, 20 to 50 percent of children with ADHD for autism. Given the size of the overlap, scientists are beginning to rethink the relationship between the two conditions and to look for common biological roots.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> They told me that she was in love with me! I am quite sure this girl is an aspie based on overall characteristic, lifestyle as well as ADHD.


You can't be truly in love with someone that you haven't even talked to.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

anachronistic12345 said:


> She has confirmed ADHD and her lifestyle is the same as mine (maladjusted)
> 
> An estimated *30 to 80 percent* of children with autism also meet the criteria for ADHD and, conversely, 20 to 50 percent of children with ADHD for autism. Given the size of the overlap, scientists are beginning to rethink the relationship between the two conditions and to look for common biological roots.


Okay then, I guess she must be in love with her. Just keep pursuing and hope for the best. That seems to be the only thing you really want to hear.

ETA: You are diagnosing someone with Asperger even though you have never even seen them face to face. Does that seem rational?


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You can't be truly in love with someone that you haven't even talked to.


She was in my vicinity daily and I am (apparently) very attractive to women.. I can only go by what they said.

I have never been around an infatuated woman showing so little expression. Not even nervousness. She could have been a world class poker player. Yet when I wasn't there, she talked about how fantastic I am.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> ETA: You are diagnosing someone with Asperger even though you have never even seen them face to face. Does that seem rational?


Takes one to know one


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

anachronistic12345 said:


> Takes one to know one


What does that even mean?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> What does that even mean?


Apparently someone with Asperger has a special radar that tells them when they are chatting via text with another person that has Asperger, lol. The vibe comes straight through the keyboard.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)




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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So you haven’t seen a picture of her, don’t know where she lives…..
But think she’s on love with you?
Bro……


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> So you haven’t seen a picture of her, don’t know where she lives…..
> But think she’s on love with you?
> Bro……


Its an "aspie" thing, you wouldn't understand.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> So you haven’t seen a picture of her, don’t know where she lives…..
> But think she’s on love with you?
> Bro……


 I know where she lives.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Its an "aspie" thing, you wouldn't understand.


But he’s only an internal aspie.
Maybe she’s an internal one like him!

I can see it now, externally she’s a woman (basically crazy due to a defective Y chromosome), and internally she’s an aspie too.
I take it back, could be a great mstch


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> But he’s only an internal aspie.
> Maybe she’s an internal one like him!
> 
> I can see it now, externally she’s a woman (basically crazy due to a defective Y chromosome), and internally she’s an aspie too.
> I take it back, could be a great mstch


I'm a reformed aspie.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

anachronistic12345 said:


> I know where she lives.


Oh no!! here it comes....I know what you did last summer.


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## anachronistic12345 (11 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Apparently someone with Asperger has a special radar that tells them when they are chatting via text with another person that has Asperger, lol. The vibe comes straight through the keyboard.


No... What did I actually write?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

anachronistic12345 said:


> No... What did I actually write?


That you're here fishing, trying different threads.


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