# Financially stable, yet problems...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is something I've never expected really...

My career began years ago when my wife (gf at the time) became pregnant, and I began working 84 hours a week at a restaurant to support our expectant child. Over time, I rose to management and later took over. The restaurant itself is very successful despite being our only source of income, and has pulled in enough revenue the last few years to almost pay off our debts for the car/house and we've always still had plenty to spare. We're not spending too lavishly either, which probably contributes to our stability.

But all this... has given my wife the impression that we're set for life. She no longer sees any importance of work and even tells me off from time to time if I go to work too often when I don't actually have to. I'm very lucky financially in a way, as I took over a very well established business and reaping the rewards ever since. Just... I don't know what to think right now. I worry if I have spoiled my wife. 

EDIT: Ok, looks like she's pissed off tonight, whoops! lol
Now have to help her get it out of her system... so much for our rather long no-fight streak


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> This is something I've never expected really...
> 
> My career began years ago when my wife (gf at the time) became pregnant, and I began working 84 hours a week at a restaurant to support our expectant child. Over time, I rose to management and later took over. The restaurant itself is very successful despite being our only source of income, and has pulled in enough revenue the last few years to almost pay off our debts for the car/house and we've always still had plenty to spare. We're not spending too lavishly either, which probably contributes to our stability.
> 
> ...


Sounds like she does not have much respect for your work effort. It's almost as if she thinks you bought a passive investment (like a stock portfolio) and not something you actively manage.

Sure, the business was established when acquired, but it still needs to be maintained. There are constant operational issues to address. Also, tastes and trends change; if you don't address those strategic issues then the business will struggle and eventually fold. That's what is meant by "running it into the ground".

Does your wife think that you are some sort of "chairman of the board" where you just put in one day a week keeping a high-level "eye on things"? Explain to her exactly what you do every day: human resources, menu, purchasing, operations, etc. Explain you could hire a general manager to handle that for you - at $100,000 per year in salary, taxes, and benefits.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yes that's exactly her impression! Hell it's almost like she reckons me establishing the bar for the restaurant was an excuse to work as well. Don't know what to do with her at the moment.


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## nazzan (Aug 20, 2012)

I find that if one partner is good with money and one isnt then that is where you get conflict.....does she understand the time and effort you have put into the restaurant to keep it doing so well? Maybe she would not have this mindset if you was to help her understand more..................
I have just read what you wrote DTO, so basically the same thing. I think the key might be for you to help her understand what it is you do and what could happen if you don't do what is required of you. ie no more money as the restaurant will go under without your input.....


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

She's starting to come around, or I hope she is anyway, unless she's just pretending to listen, and 'inflating' herself ready to explode the next time I bring it up. Hell, even now I can't tell at times.


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