# girlfriend extremely ruff in bed!!



## joeyallen (Sep 8, 2016)

So I've been dating this girl for 2 months, and then decided we would take things slow, and when the times right, we would take it to the bedroom...So 3 days ago we had sex!!

And man she was ruff, we started kissing, then she bit my lip till the point it bled, she forcefully pushed me on to the bed, and stood above me, taking taking her top off. Then she came down very hard!!! and almost took the wind out of me!!!...

She sat on my chest, grabbed my head, with both hands, and rid ride for a good 10 minutes!!!

Then she slid down...


Anyway fast forward , while she was on top she would be biting me all over while kissing, she scratch the he'll out of my chest!!! While humping me, pushing my face back, She punched me in the chest.. she held my hair while aggressively, riding me, and slapping my face a few times....

I got on top she clawed my back out, she even pulled my family jewels, which I had to quickly!! Take her hands off...

I kinda acted like I enjoyed it, but i really didnt, way to ruff
Do you think I should end this relationship? I mean I like her but? I feel like she didn't really give give a crap about me while having sex...any advice?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Handcuffs


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

End it. You need someone you are sexually compatible with, and she is not it.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Marc878 said:


> Handcuffs


:lol:










^^what I see in my mind after reading your post.

Have you even tried asking her to be a tincy-wincy more gentle?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Did she give you a Cleveland Steamer?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Honestly, that sounds more like abuse than sex to me.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Thound said:


> Did she give you a Cleveland Steamer?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I had to google that one.

I wish I hadn't!


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Well after reading Jld's reply I'm somewhat nervous to add to this topic.
But in the interest Thoroughness I would say it's time to COMMUNICATE. You don't know the answer to this important question: Is this the only way you enjoy having sex, or was it just what you wanted that day? Would you still be happy if we toned it down to . . . . ? and I would really like a SAFE WORD before we try again. 

Now if you can get answers you like to those questions then you might not be as incompatible as it seams. 

Otherwise please have her send some tips to my wife.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

EunuchMonk said:


> ^^what I see in my mind after reading your post.
> 
> Have you even tried asking her to be a tincy-wincy more gentle?


Lol. I can't stop laughing!! 😁

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


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## Yosemite (Aug 23, 2016)

joeyallen said:


> Anyway fast forward , while she was on top she would be biting me all over while kissing, she scratch the he'll out of my chest!!! While humping me, pushing my face back, She punched me in the chest.. she held my hair while aggressively, riding me, and slapping my face a few times....
> 
> I got on top she clawed my back out, she even pulled my family jewels


This is sort of how I felt after my divorce trial was over.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

was she getting off a serious dry spell?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

joeyallen said:


> I kinda acted like I enjoyed it, but i really didnt, way to ruff
> Do you think I should end this relationship? I mean I like her but? *I feel like she didn't really give give a crap about me while having sex*...any advice?


If your instincts tell you that she does not care about you while having sex, this is indeed very problematic and you should end the relationship.

I had a good friend in college that went out with the seemingly "nice" girl and he was very excited about starting a serious relationship with her. One night she got him back to her place, things heated up, and then she unleashed herself onto him. The details of this story sound as if he suddenly found himself struggling to survive an F-5 tornado. Afterwards he could not help feeling used and abused. He ended the relationship, but his emotional scars from that were long lasting.

I don't know if some women are this way as a result of trauma they have experienced themselves or what, but what you just experienced was very abusive. Find someone that can council you so that you do not suffer from this attack long term as my college friend did and still does to this day to some degree.

Sincerely, 
Badsanta


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I have no problem in principal with rough sex, bdsm etc - but the key is that both people need to enjoy and both need a safe-word.

So - talk to her. Tell her what you like and what you don't, and find out what she likes and doesn't. See if there are enough things you both enjoy for things to work. If not, then its fine to split - no harm / no foul, you are not not sexually compatible.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

How can you lot restrain yourselves so well?

It is *rough *not *ruff*. Ruff is what a dog says, ruff ruff. It might also be what the crazy woman in the meme says.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I just assumed he left out some of the more...erm exotic details.....:wink2:



MrsHolland said:


> How can you lot restrain yourselves so well?
> 
> It is *rough *not *ruff*. Ruff is what a dog says, ruff ruff. It might also be what the crazy woman in the meme says.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Rabid monkeys and F5 tornadoes - seems I've led a very sheltered life.

The time to call the whole thing off was when she made your lip bleed. Your manhood wouldn't have been questioned if you had simply said "WTH?" and got up and went home. You're allowed to say "No".


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

All that crazy sex bs is a symptom of...............craziness. Unless you like crazy, gtfo of this relationship.
Crazy and long term relationship are never compatible.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Crazy in the bed, crazy in the head. At least, that's what I've been told.


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

Women who like it rough, sadly, have usually been sexually abused. I don't know why that is, it just is.

Tell her she was too rough, but IMO you aren't compatible sexually. Even if she cools it down the next time, it won't last and you will be in pain.

Sent from my LG-H810 using Tapatalk


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Tie her to the bedposts and give it right back to her. Preferably face down.


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## Yosemite (Aug 23, 2016)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Tie her to the bedposts and give it right back to her. Preferably face down.


Tied up, face UP.

Otherwise you're going to waste an orgasm on her backside.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Seppuku said:


> Women who like it rough, sadly, have usually been sexually abused. I don't know why that is, it just is.
> 
> Tell her she was too rough, but IMO you aren't compatible sexually. Even if she cools it down the next time, it won't last and you will be in pain.
> 
> Sent from my LG-H810 using Tapatalk


Granted, blood and abusive behavior are not for me, but I like it fairly rough and I was never abused.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

EunuchMonk said:


> ^^what I see in my mind after reading your post.
> 
> Have you even tried asking her to be a tincy-wincy more gentle?


Omg lol

I laughed so hard I peed a little.

As for OP. Two ways to handle this (and jezuz that sounded rough) communication or move on. It's up to you but my limit would have been get the hell off me now during. That would have been a deal breaker for me.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## Yosemite (Aug 23, 2016)

CantePe said:


> I laughed so hard I peed a little.


Ironic, when you consider your username.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Yosemite said:


> Ironic, when you consider your username.


Lmao. Then you are saying it wrong.

Kant-teh-peh

Lakota for woman of heart.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

CantePe said:


> Lmao. Then you are saying it wrong.
> 
> Kant-teh-peh
> 
> ...


Are you a Sioux Indian? Was just reading up on them for a story.

Sorry for thread jack


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

EunuchMonk said:


> Are you a Sioux Indian? Was just reading up on them for a story.
> 
> Sorry for thread jack


I was expecting this question. No but I am a huge history and linguistic nut.

My husband is Iroquois Metis however.

I'm Irish. I have a thing for culture, language and their history (all cultures and languages).

I'm also a huge information hoard.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

And that bastardised Lakota by the way.

Nice catch on the Sioux (there are different dialects of Lakota)

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

If you're going out with her again I'd drop by a sporting goods store and buy a catchers mask, jockey strap with cup, chest protector and some shin guards.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

joeyallen said:


> So I've been dating this girl for 2 months, and then decided we would take things slow, and when the times right, we would take it to the bedroom...So 3 days ago we had sex!!
> 
> And man she was ruff, we started kissing, then she bit my lip till the point it bled, she forcefully pushed me on to the bed, and stood above me, taking taking her top off. Then she came down very hard!!! and almost took the wind out of me!!!...
> 
> ...


Sad you didn't enjoy it ... do you mind PM'ing me her number...

Yeah, sadly you might have to call it off. She might just have been using you to get off, or had a boyfriend that enjoyed things that way, or even just using you as a revenge/jealousy/frustration f... .
Some guys like that, some more frequently, some less frequently.
The only option you've really got is to take the bull by the horns, ask her out again and discuss it, or just bring it up that it was a bit more violent than you expected - although you do have to make it sound like you're not a whiner, even if she's just "excitable" rather than loves playing Domme, no-one wants to hear a man complaining. So you might be saying "the bruise from the punch to the chest is almost gone, do you always play so rough?" - then you can take your cue from there. It the pain is a distraction for you, take a panadol half hour beforehand to take the edge off, just steer clear of habitual use or any which "impair performance".

But yes, some of us do enjoying being able to go "fast" or slow at will


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

joannacroc said:


> Granted, blood and abusive behavior are not for me, but I like it fairly rough and I was never abused.


The difference between Ds/SM and abuse:
In a scene all it takes is one word to stop,
but abuse isn't stopped even with a thousand words.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I would never have sex with a new partner without discussing likes, dislikes, kinks, and expectations.

Did you talk about your sexual preferences or sexual history at all during your time before having sex? If not, good lesson to learn so you will from now on.

Though I must say this sounds like someone who just wants to talk about ruff or rough sex.


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

MrsHolland said:


> How can you lot restrain yourselves so well?
> 
> It is *rough *not *ruff*. Ruff is what a dog says, ruff ruff. It might also be what the crazy woman in the meme says.


Beware the ruff woman!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Satya said:


> Honestly, that sounds more like abuse than sex to me.


Sorry. I just couldnt help myself.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Satya said:


> I had to google that one.
> 
> I wish I hadn't!


Dang it! Quoted the wrong one.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> I would never have sex with a new partner without discussing likes, dislikes, kinks, and expectations.
> 
> Did you talk about your sexual preferences or sexual history at all during your time before having sex? If not, good lesson to learn so you will from now on.
> 
> Though I must say this sounds like someone who just wants to talk about ruff or rough sex.


The latter is also a suspicion for me; if I didn't have a couple of male friends at university who had been through the same thing. (one was used, the other a revenge against her ex-boyfriend).

I have never heard of a realistic discussion re:likes/dislikes/expectations before first time sex _ever_ occurring. It sounds very familiar to the fantasy of "perfect consent" that many extremist rape-hate types keep pretending exists. I have heard none at all, flirting all the way through to outright lies but never a true and frank discussion before the first time. Perhaps that's the kind of objective view that arranged marriage style negotiations might have (although I haven't heard it there either).


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

What's her phone number??


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

spotthedeaddog said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > I would never have sex with a new partner without discussing likes, dislikes, kinks, and expectations.
> ...


When is the last time you've dated?

How sexual are you?

For myself, currently dating, many sexual conversations happen before actually having sex. 

But I'm extremely sexual and will not waste sexual energy on someone who can't even talk about sex and preferences before actually having sex. After a date or two while discussing what each of us are looking for, the conversation naturally goes there between two adults who are dating, if they are both highly sexual and ready to enter a sexual relationship. 

If I don't know someone well enough to actually discuss sex and sexual preferences with someone, then why would I have sex with them at all? I just wouldn't.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> When is the last time you've dated?
> 
> How sexual are you?
> 
> ...


Last week.
How sexual? definitely considered in the middle of HD group, but I'm also polyamorous and considered an elder in several communities; which means while I'm not a partner with everyone I get to share in a lot of discussion and relationships.

For yourself, you have sexual supply, thus you can control who you supply that to and to a large extent can control which customers you are willing to deal with - therefore your sexual encounters will be with people who fit your selection criteria. If you try that approach as an average guy you'd still be a virgin.
(a woman willing to talk sex with a guy is a turn-on ..... an average or worse guy trying to negotiate physical sex with a woman is an automatic reject)


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Like going to a vast amusement park, some rides were only meant to being ridden once!

And more especially for one's own health reasons!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Satya said:


> Honestly, that sounds more like abuse than sex to me.


I agree! OP she bit you so hard you bled?? Eek!! Not my cup of tea at all, I honestly can't imagine my husband enjoying that either!



EunuchMonk said:


> :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Now I've got the giggles and I can't stop laughing!!!


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

joannacroc said:


> Granted, blood and abusive behavior are not for me, but I like it fairly rough and I was never abused.


Define "fairly rough." And do you like it rough every single time?

Abused persons don't enjoy tender, gentle sex - it needs to be as rough as the OP described every time.


spotthedeaddog said:


> The difference between Ds/SM and abuse:
> In a scene all it takes is one word to stop,
> but abuse isn't stopped even with a thousand words.


Agreed - I say move on, OP.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Seppuku said:


> Define "fairly rough." And do you like it rough every single time?
> 
> Abused persons don't enjoy tender, gentle sex - it needs to be as rough as the OP described every time.
> 
> Agreed - I say move on, OP.


I should have clarified. I don't enjoy gentle. I find it boring. But drawing blood is a little excessive for me. I guess not for the OP's date. Maybe it's a kink I'm just not aware of? But it seems like if you are going to engage in that kind of behavior, you make sure your partner is on the same page first, and maintain an open communication.

OP, you don't sound like you enjoyed this. You are not sexually compatible. I'd move on. Next time you meet someone, have a conversation about sex before you have sex? It sounds like a lot of assumptions were made on both your parts about how things would be, and you didn't communicate to her that you didn't want it this rough, and to stop, and she didn't make sure you were on board before starting.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

spotthedeaddog said:


> The difference between Ds/SM and abuse:
> In a scene all it takes is one word to stop,
> but abuse isn't stopped even with a thousand words.


A good reminder. The punching and drawing blood sound abusive to me, but I suppose if it were within the context of things the couple agreed were ok, and they had decided on a safe word, and maintained communication etc. etc. and he chose not to use the safe word, then that would be different. It doesn't sound like that happened, though. But perhaps I missed something?


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

I guess it is a subset of people who enjoy ONLY rough stuff who have been abused. I wonder if the reverse is true - I don't think it is.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

spotthedeaddog said:


> Last week.
> How sexual? definitely considered in the middle of HD group, but I'm also polyamorous and considered an elder in several communities; which means while I'm not a partner with everyone I get to share in a lot of discussion and relationships.
> 
> For yourself, you have sexual supply, thus you can control who you supply that to and to a large extent can control which customers you are willing to deal with - therefore your sexual encounters will be with people who fit your selection criteria. *If you try that approach as an average guy you'd still be a virgin.*
> (a woman willing to talk sex with a guy is a turn-on ..... an average or worse guy trying to negotiate physical sex with a woman is an automatic reject)


I'm not sure what you mean by "that approach". And also, who do you think I'm "trying that approach" with if not the "average guys" I am dating? 

I'm talking about discussions between people who are dating. You talk about what each other is seeking in a relationship. You talk about your values and your past. You talk about why you are single (divorced, widowed, never married?) and how long ago your last break up was if there was one. You talk about your exes and what went wrong or right. And while you are talking and getting to know each other, you are evaluating if you have chemistry with this person or not and if you could see yourself being sexual with them or not.

Then as you consider all of these things you've talked about and whether there is chemistry or not, if you do think there is a good match there, you begin to touch or kiss and see how that feels. And along with that comes more specific talking about sex, sexuality, preferences, kinks, etc. From there...you keep dating and eventually (or quickly) start having sex with each other. The conversations continue as you calibrate to each other as lovers.

Having done this with everyone I've ever become intimate with, including those I've just made out with and never even progressed all the way to sex, I can say it is not unusual and the "average men" I've been dating had had the same types of conversations with women they've dated before me.

If you thought I meant approaching people in the grocery store and trying to discuss sexual preferences with them, then yeah, that wouldn't go over well for almost anyone.

I'm only talking about adult healthy communication in the dating world. 

There are some people who wouldn't be so open about the topic of sex while dating, and that's ok, too. Those people would have their reasons that the topic is not something they discuss in the early stages. If I found myself on a date with someone like this, I would know right away we would not be a good match. No problem with that, it is an advantage to know this early on so neither of us will waste our time by dating longer and then being disappointed later.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> When is the last time you've dated?
> 
> How sexual are you?
> 
> ...


This for sure but I guess I also have never had the conversation about if I was going to have bruises and cuts the next day. I might now though for safety reasons :grin2:


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Who wants a bloody lip after sex???? Crazy stuff
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> This for sure but I guess I also have never had the conversation about if I was going to have bruises and cuts the next day. I might now though for safety reasons :grin2:


This would come up if they were really discussing what they were into. Or at least we would hope she would have been able to express something like "yeah I do like it a little rough, biting, scratching and the like...but I like to get rough not receive rough, so I hope you are into that" at which point he would have the chance to ask more questions and decide if he wants to find out if he's into it or not.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> Who wants a bloody lip after sex???? Crazy stuff
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nosebleeds are a fact of life when awkward people get it on.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> This would come up if they were really discussing what they were into. Or at least we would hope she would have been able to express something like "yeah I do like it a little rough, biting, scratching and the like...but I like to get rough not receive rough, so I hope you are into that" at which point he would have the chance to ask more questions and decide if he wants to find out if he's into it or not.


Could be. I would guess it depends on the perspective. I have had women tell me they like rough sex but still never walked away with cuts and bruises. Not saying I would bail necessarily, I have a high pain threshold , plus it could be a fond memory or at least unforgettable :smile2:


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## joeyallen (Sep 8, 2016)

Thanks for the replies, yes sorry rough...no idea why i put ruff lol, well i think were done with each other, anyway i told her that shes a bit too rough!!! her reply was? Well i fort your suppose to be strong, i fort men could take this sort of thing, i said to her yea some men 
enjoy the roughness in bed. But im not one fo them!!

and obviously we should of discussed this first, all she could say was i didnt no did i ? then she went quiet, she didnt speak to me for the hole day, after that...

so i dont no, i havent done anything wrong ill just wait for her to call me back.....last night do, is the reason why i decided to have it out with her, she pritty much did the same things again!!! she almost snapped my back..she sat on my back, but my hands was underneath her knees... and she pulled my head back. 

and started kissing me, with my head twisted to one side, i just remember feeling my spine about to break...


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## Legend (Jun 25, 2013)

Apparently, you didn't read the instructions... Be sure to strap firmly to the bed before plowing.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

"I'll just wait for her to call me back", after allowing yourself to be essentially raped a second time. 

If she was thinking you are a strong male, she 'fort' wrong...

Man up, and tell her b'bye.


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## Yosemite (Aug 23, 2016)

Question to the members. Is it possible to take out life insurance on a perfect stranger who you know only via posts on an internet discussion board?


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

Yosemite said:


> Question to the members. Is it possible to take out life insurance on a perfect stranger who you know only via posts on an internet discussion board?


Yes.


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## Yosemite (Aug 23, 2016)

Seppuku said:


> Yes.


Ok who's in?

It would be like an office lottery.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

This poor sensitive soul. Getting jumped by a female.

:scratchhead:


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## Yosemite (Aug 23, 2016)

BobSimmons said:


> This poor sensitive soul. Getting jumped by a female.
> 
> :scratchhead:


Even if the story is fictitious, it happens, and just because the usual roles are reversed it doesn't make it any less physically abusive.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Yosemite said:


> Even if the story is fictitious, it happens, and just because the usual roles are reversed it doesn't make it any less physically abusive.


Oh please, just stop. Not abuse in the slightest, if the poor soul felt so strongly he was being violated then..hmm I don't know, just not meet up with her anymore. Seems a good way of stopping this... abuse...


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## Yosemite (Aug 23, 2016)

BobSimmons said:


> Oh please, just stop. Not abuse in the slightest, if the poor soul felt so strongly he was being violated then..hmm I don't know, just not meet up with her anymore. Seems a good way of stopping this... abuse...


Do you offer the same advice to women in an abusive relationship who are afraid to leave the abuser?

"Please, just leave if you don't like it, no one wants to hear you complain about things you can easily walk away from".


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

There are female on male rapes. They are much rarer than male on female but they do happen. 



BobSimmons said:


> This poor sensitive soul. Getting jumped by a female.
> 
> :scratchhead:


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

uhtred said:


> There are female on male rapes. They are much rarer than male on female but they do happen.


Female on male rape and abuse happen a lot more than most people think. It's very seldom reported is why the statistics are skewed.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

EunuchMonk said:


> :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


*Judging solely by her actions, someone, undoubtedly, gave that poor gal an "Angry Pirate!"*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Yosemite said:


> Do you offer the same advice to women in an abusive relationship who are afraid to leave the abuser?
> 
> "Please, just leave if you don't like it, no one wants to hear you complain about things you can easily walk away from".


Ok, stop with the guilt tripping and pulling out the offering advice to women card. This is not an abusive relationship, they are simply incompatible in bed, somehow it's now mutated to rape?

I believe he simply finds her too rough in bed. She's not listening to him if she's continuing to be rough, so he should just leave or break up.

It is really truly that simple. What other advice would you offer, that he calls the police on her? Surely that's what you're intimating because if a woman was being abused I'd advise her to call the police and lawyer up if she can afford it or go to a battered womens home.

Are you suggested the OP should call the cops?

Really can't believe you tried that mate. Shame.

I'll just bow out. SMH.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It was so "ruff" that he went back for seconds. Okey dokey.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm very glad @joeyallen has come back and I think there has been some very good advice mixed in with the more light hearted replies. I'm going to summarize what I think Joey needs to know most. 

If you don't like something say so. Say so right then. This is what all of our talk about consent is. You consent to sex. Good, but when something happens you don't like you have the right to stop and withdraw that consent. Oh sorry I don't like biting we should stop now and talk about that.

Communication, likes and dislikes, before during and after. Not just after. It's smart, and now it is even politically correct. I know there are plenty of people out there who are uncomfortable talking about sex. I honestly believe that overcoming that fear will make them happier people.

Abuse. Someone asked when consensual sex became Rape. It happened when Joey felt fear. Pain is ok if you like that, like me. But fear is when it becomes abuse. When joey is laying face down with his hands captive and his spine bent uncomfortably to the point he fears injury, that is when it is Rape and not sex. 

Joey's girl needs some help. This is evidenced by her replies to Joey talking about his fears with her. Her reply, I thought Men were strong shows two things. One she doesn't know very much about men or sex. she has been in only one kind of relationship and is trying to model everyone else into that pattern. Two she is trying to Shame Joey into accepting her model, when he is telling her that he doesn't like it. This is emotional abuse. 

Joey I don't like the pattern, I don't think you are safe with her. I also think she won't be coming back to you, but she is likely to make the same mistake again. I honestly don't thing that any good would come from you filing criminal charges against her. She needs therapy, not punishment. 

Should something like this ever happen to you again, be prepared to say No and Stop. And in general men, in the united states who are injured by their female partners should go to a doctor before going to law enforcement.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> It was so "ruff" that he went back for seconds. Okey dokey.


Not so fast there @Blondilocks as I imagine that initiating intimacy works very differently in that relationship...

...on second thought, I think you are right!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Here, I would respectfully disagree. I think it becomes rape when someone continues without consent:

1).If the victim removes consent (for example by clearly saying "no") and the attacker continues.

2) if the victim is unable to consent (unconscious etc), and the attacker continues without clearly defined and agree prior ground rules for this situation. 

3) It the a resaonble person would agree that it is not safe for the victim to remove consent. (under threat - real or implied). 


In this case, if he told her to stop and she didn't , then I think its rape. If he didn't say anything, then it was sex he didn't enjoy, but not rape. 




Mr. Nail said:


> I'm very glad [MENTION=259922] snip
> 
> Abuse. Someone asked when consensual sex became Rape. It happened when Joey felt fear. Pain is ok if you like that, like me. But fear is when it becomes abuse. When joey is laying face down with his hands captive and his spine bent uncomfortably to the point he fears injury, that is when it is Rape and not sex.
> 
> snip


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Technically You are correct. Point 3 allows for fear. Fear may also be an abuse or assault line, but I don't want to wander down those trails here. This situation is at least questionable and definitely unsafe.


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