# The Process of Divorce



## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

Okay, maybe this is a question I should call and ask my lawyer, but my retainer is refundable if I don't use it all, so I am trying to get through this with her billing me as little as possible, lol. :smthumbup:

Can someone explain to me--and feel free to really dummy it down--what the actual process of divorce will be like? Here's what I know: so far I have filled out and turned in an information packet to my lawyer with personal and financial information. I think she said she will write up the petition and file it...how long does/should that take? At what point will he be served? 

And then what happens? We have a minor child too, so when do custody and temporary child support come into play?


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It depends where you live and how you handle it emotionally. No divorec process is the same as another and no divorce is ever "happy."

As far as how long it takes her to write it--it depends on how busy she is and when she has it done. I would ask her directly. My lawyer sent stuff out for me the the following morning, Lonely's just got back to her w/ paperwork after 3 weeks. 

If you file, he has an allotted time to respond. If he agrees to what you've stipulated, then it's uncontested and the final haering will be set for the divorce date OR you may not even have to go to court if you both agree to everything. If it's uncontested, get ready for war. Just kidding. But raelly, if it's uncontested, it'll take a little longer to finalize and may nivolve going to court a couple of times and motions will be filed/withdrawn, etc.

MOST divorces do reach a settlement before the final hearing. If they don't, the judge decides on the final hearing who gets what. 

In my case, we didn't reach a settlement we were both ok with til about 1 week til the divorce (after a 1.5 year of separation!!!)


----------



## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

Cools beans, thanks JB!


----------



## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Anonymous_Female said:


> Okay, maybe this is a question I should call and ask my lawyer, but my retainer is refundable if I don't use it all, so I am trying to get through this with her billing me as little as possible, lol. :smthumbup:


I wish you good luck with that. I went *WAY* over my retainer fee. We did not wind up going before the judge either. 


Jellybeans is correct in stating how a lot of the divorce process depends on which state you reside in, along with how quick you and your stbx can reach a settlement agreement.

In California, you can be legally divorced in 6 months and 1 day from date of filing, even if you have not reached a settlement agreement. 

I know a lady who had been divorced for 5 years, was getting remarried but still had not reached a settlement agreement from her previous marriage. Although she and her ex-husband did have a lot of assets which needed to be sorted through.

GOOD LUCK!!!


----------



## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

Yikes! Now I'm scared, lol.


----------



## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

The sense of security in having a great attorney was good for me. I don’t "NEED" a man, but when my marriage was ending, I did not feel a lot of security as to what the future would hold. I'm certain that is the same way many other have felt, especially for stbx-wives. My attorney was somewhat of a tiger and she made me feel pretty good about things.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> If it's *uncontested,* get ready for war. Just kidding. But raelly, if it's *uncontested*, it'll take a little longer to finalize and may nivolve going to court a couple of times and motions will be filed/withdrawn, etc.


Oops. I goofed. I meant to say if it's CONTESTED, not uncontested...that means the divorce will be more difficult. Still, it will have an ending though.

I agree with Toto...just knowing you have representation alleviates a lot of stress and the "not knowing."


----------

