# --Next Step?



## UnUs (Jan 27, 2012)

Ok ill give you a little back ground. I have been married 3yrs and known her 8 yrs with most of that living in the same household.

We have 2 kids, both have jobs, and live the normal life for the most part.

Over the year the fighting has gotten worse... When we first got together i thought we fought just to make up. Now we fight and i get the silent treatment for a couple of days. Even if i try to sit down and talk to her about it. I get the all famous Leave me alone or just more of the silent treatment .

Sex- has been slipping away also. first 4or5 times a week to once a week to once couple of weeks to once a month to now where im at 4mo with out any.. i have confronted her about this and she says that she feels like a peice of meat. and if i would come to bed with her at the same time she does ... well i did .. and no change. But to tell you the truth i cant count on how many times she started the sexual part of our relationship.
because the last time was 7yrs ago.

I Dont know where to Start to repair this. I love my wife and kids. Need help. or is my marriage gone?


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

No its not yet gone. You have two small kids you cant get out so easily. You should do MC. What does your W want.
Ask her also to come on here.


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## wanttolove (Jan 25, 2012)

It doesn't sound like your marriage is gone, but your relationship is being stretched by the addition of your kids. You're losing touch with each other. That happens to most couples.

My suggestion is to try a few things:
1. Go out of your way to express your affection to her -- a hug and a kiss when she is least expecting it, kind words and complements. Warm her up and give her something besides "it's time, babe, come here and give it to your man"!
2. Find a time during the day that is yours together and not bed time. Likely she is trying to catch up on chores, etc. at that time of day. Have that first cup of coffee together, take the kids on a walk, sit down on the couch together for a few minutes when you get home from work, work out together on Saturday morning or afternoon.
3. YOU find someone to watch the kids, maybe even find someone who wants to co-op, and do the ever suggested date night or afternoon or morning.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Your marriage is far from gone. You got a lot of work to do. If you do nothing about it then yes your marriage will most likely fail at some point.

Again, you got work to do. Go get it done. Start with some research and then seek professional help. Always remember that you must try everything possible to not allow anything to affect your genuine feelings for your spouse. The connection needs to be preserved in order for other issues to be repaired.


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