# Thinner Wife Makes Happier Marriage



## Deejo

I don't write the stuff folks, I just find it ...

Thinner Wife Makes Happier Marriage : Discovery News


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## RandomDude

It's funny really, I have a faster metabolism then wifey, so when we do let ourselves go, I end up losing weight, and she ends up gaining :rofl:

So when we end up not being able to sustain our favorite positions (standing ones), I blame it on her gaining weight, and she ends up blaming it on me for losing weight. Heh, but the sex keeps us lean and strong I guess. Only time she went hardcore working out was after preggies.

And right now she's still bugging me to turn my 4 pack back into a 6 pack but I tell her that the last 2 packs are reserved for my alcohol! :smthumbup:


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## AFEH

I doubt my wife ever went outside her BMI and I only ever got close to the top end never past it. For me it makes a heck of a lot of difference with attraction and desire between couples and sure when attraction and desire are there the marriage is going to be essentially happy.


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## RandomDude

^ A faster metabolism can be easily countered by spreading out meals, instead of a few big ones. Such as eating snacks every 2-3 hours. He still needs to work out though lest it just ends up as flab not muscle mass.


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## EleGirl

The best way to keep weight off is a very active sex life. It's a lot more fun than exercise.

"Having sex three times a week burns around 7,500 calories per year. That's roughly the equivalent of jogging 75 miles, or about 1.4 miles per week, according to Healthcentral.com. The more intense the sex, the more calories burned: up to 15,000 calories annually (at a frequency of three times per week). 15,000 calories is equivalent to about 4 pounds of weight loss per year, just from having sex three times a week. Not too shabby. "


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## RandomDude

Sex doesn't help with my beer gut =/


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## EleGirl

RandomDude said:


> Sex doesn't help with my beer gut =/


Then obviously you need more sex and less beer!!


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## RandomDude

For years I've endured a 7-21x/week sexual routine. It has kept us lean and strong, but as for my beer gut, nope, still there, I consider it my "fake 2 pack", since I still got my 4 hehe


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## Syrum

Or unhappy marriages make women fat.


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## Kobo

thinner wife = a woman more prone to be happy with her self and her self image = woman feels sexy = more sex with husband = happier husband = husband more attentive to wife = happier wife


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## AFEH

Syrum said:


> Or unhappy marriages make women fat.


Fat women make themselves fat.


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## okeydokie

i am big (defensive lineman big), if i got fat i wouldnt blame anyone but myself


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## Syrum

AFEH said:


> Fat women make themselves fat.


Unhappy men make themselves unhappy.

Or could it be that we all impact our spouse in many complex, deep, subtle and unsubtle ways. They effects us, they impact us and if they didn't we really shouldn't be married.

Luckily I'm not married or fat. So it's all happiness sunshine, and sex appeal over here. 

I just loved the spin on this ridiculous article, and when spun the other way, the protest cries. Interesting.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

Wow, my husbands bmi is lower then mine. He's a triathlete and races in ironmans. I'm not overweight by no means. I do watch what I eat, I'm fairly thin. I was also a runner and triathlete, but that stopped when I broke my neck nearly 4 years ago. We are a very happy couple even though my bmi is higher then my husbands! 

What makes us happy is that my husband and I are extremely compatible. We don't nag, argue or tell each other what to do. We are very supportive of one another and are in love with each other. Frequent sex, flirting, holding hands, conversation, laughing/having fun and cuddling does help bringing us closer together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AFEH

Syrum said:


> Unhappy men make themselves unhappy.
> 
> Or could it be that we all impact our spouse in many complex, deep, subtle and unsubtle ways. They effects us, they impact us and if they didn't we really shouldn't be married.
> 
> Luckily I'm not married or fat. So it's all happiness sunshine, and sex appeal over here.
> 
> I just loved the spin on this ridiculous article, and when spun the other way, the protest cries. Interesting.


Crazy.


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## Deejo

Syrum said:


> Unhappy men make themselves unhappy.
> 
> Or could it be that we all impact our spouse in many complex, deep, subtle and unsubtle ways. They effects us, they impact us and if they didn't we really shouldn't be married.
> 
> Luckily I'm not married or fat. So it's all happiness sunshine, and sex appeal over here.
> 
> I just loved the spin on this ridiculous article, and when spun the other way, the protest cries. Interesting.


Ridiculous? Really?

This seems like a no-brainer to me. The article claims as much. The desire for thinner partners cuts both ways across the sexes, relating to both attraction and health.

I agree with your statement that how a spouse conducts themselves can have an impact on the well-being of another spouse; but I can't get behind your 'unhappy marriages make women fat' logic.

Using that paradigm, a way for a woman to remain slim would be to never get married. Don't think anyone is going to agree with that either.

Marriage doesn't make ANYONE fat.

Bad diet, self-esteem issues, health issues, and simply becoming complacent and lazy makes people fat. Arguably, any of those issues are eventually going to play into someone's life, married or not. How you cope with them determines the end result.


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## AFEH

My wife was slim for all the 42 years she was with me. Hey I made my wife slim!

She actually had a body women envied. She’d get remarks like “She has a body like that after two sons! I hate her!”. Some asked me how she did it and I told them she’s careful of what she eats. That’s it, the sum total of how my wife was slim. They laughed as though they didn’t believe me. Of course these women were all on the heavy side and just had to find someone or something to blame other than themselves.


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## okeydokie

choosing to be large (read fat) is just lack of personal responsibility, blame it on someone else if you must. thats just a coping mechanism


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## Stilltrying1

Okey, your statement is too simplistic. There is an element of personal responsibility in most every case of weight gain to be sure, but it isn't always "just" a lack of personal responsibility. Physical and mental illness can and often do play a large part in why people may gain weight.


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## WhereAmI

I'm sure this is true for my marriage, but only because I'm not happy having any extra weight on my frame. I'm 5'8" and look best at 123 (I'm 127 now). I wish I was one of those women who gained weight proportionately, but extra weight goes straight to my midsection or my face. My arms and legs stay thin and I look like I'm trying to hide a pregnancy. No bueno.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl

I look at it from this way. 

Why is the wife thin? 

She is either active in her life or she has strong self-control ability. 

We all know that after women hit 30, our metabolism system slows down. We gain weight easily. We can't eat the way we did in our teens and twenties. 

If the wife is active in her life, her marriage benefits from it. 

If she has strong self-control ability, her marriage benefits from it. 

And the husband benefits a lot from having a slim wife, sexually she is eye catching. She just drives you crazy. But not too thin, a bony woman isn't sexy at all!


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## Trenton

Deejo said:


> I don't write the stuff folks, I just find it ...
> 
> Thinner Wife Makes Happier Marriage : Discovery News


Why? Why do you find it?


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## okeydokie

Stilltrying1 said:


> Okey, your statement is too simplistic. There is an element of personal responsibility in most every case of weight gain to be sure, but it isn't always "just" a lack of personal responsibility. Physical and mental illness can and often do play a large part in why people may gain weight.


yes, no doubt. think in terms of the rule and not the exception. and still, there are things that can be done IF the person really wants to change


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## Deejo

Trenton said:


> Why? Why do you find it?


I was on discovery.com looking for info on the show 'Moonshiners'. The link jumped out at me as an interesting topic for discussion as it pertains to marriage by the insightful participants on this forum.

I also now know the ingredients for moonshine ...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega

"does this dress make my a$$ look fat?"

"No. Your a$$ makes your a$$ look fat."


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## Halien

Deejo said:


> I was on discovery.com looking for info on the show 'Moonshiners'. The link jumped out at me as an interesting topic for discussion as it pertains to marriage by the insightful participants on this forum.
> 
> I also now know the ingredients for moonshine ...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Since I learned how to make moonshine from my dad as a teenager, I appreciate the article you posted, just based upon its own merits. Now, if you happen to be searching for info on fishing with dynamite, and stumble upon an article that proves that huge TV's promote intimacy, don't hesitate to post it. I'm getting a really big bonus soon.


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## RandomDude

alphaomega said:


> "does this dress make my a$$ look fat?"
> 
> "No. Your a$$ makes your a$$ look fat."


:rofl:


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## Laurae1967

This was a flawed study that doesn't actually prove that thinner women make happier marriages. But Deejo has a bias, so of course he's going to post this crap.


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## Deejo

Laurae1967 said:


> This was a flawed study that doesn't actually prove that thinner women make happier marriages. But Deejo has a bias, so of course he's going to post this crap.


EVERYBODY has a bias.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

I am 20 pounds heavier than my husband. In all the right places


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## Deejo

that_girl said:


> I am 20 pounds heavier than my husband. In all the right places


And you and hubs are happy. My ex was about 40 lbs lighter than me and we were not happy after several years.

Few things are static, but that doesn't eliminate trends or preferences.

Kobo's summary makes perfect sense for why this would trend towards happier marriages.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Yardman

I/we must be an exception to this study. Wife is blessed with a few extra pounds in mostly all the right places and I find that very attractive.


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## Conrad

Deejo said:


> EVERYBODY has a bias.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Except me.


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## Runs like Dog

Thick girls are much much hotter in bed. Been my experience.


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## Trenton

Deejo said:


> And you and hubs are happy. My ex was about 40 lbs lighter than me and we were not happy after several years.
> 
> Few things are static, but that doesn't eliminate trends or preferences.
> 
> Kobo's summary makes perfect sense for why this would trend towards happier marriages.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We see what we want to see.


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## ddindiana

So what we are saying here is, thin women are happy. I think just because a woman is thin doesn't make her happy. I agree with deejo. my exwife was thin and unhappy and depressed, so she left. Run like dogs is right thicker, curvy women are sexier and much hotter. Who wants a thin girl when you can have a curvy woman.


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## Conrad

Runs like Dog said:


> Thick girls are much much hotter in bed. Been my experience.


They have to be.


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## that_girl

Conrad said:


> They have to be.


:rofl: Geeez. They don't have to be, they want to be. No one here said "fat". They said "curvy". Most women have curves.


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## Syrum

Trenton said:


> We see what we want to see.


Truth.


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## Conrad

Syrum said:


> Truth.


On the Playboy Channel


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## Deejo

Trenton said:


> We see what we want to see.


Cripes ... you're starting to sound like Conrad.


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## Syrum

Conrad said:


> They have to be.


I am not thin, I am very curvy. I have men approach me often and tell me that it's what they prefer. That I look hot etc

I know I'm good in bed, but he better be good too. I'm not great in bed because I don't think I'm attractive, I'm great in bed because I have a high sex drive and I enjoy it.


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## Syrum

Conrad said:


> On the Playboy Channel


 Never seen the playboy channel.


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## Deejo

Syrum said:


> I am not thin, I am very curvy. I have men approach me often and tell me that it's what they prefer. That I look hot etc
> 
> I know I'm good in bed, but he better be good too. I'm not great in bed because I don't think I'm attractive, I'm great in bed because I have a high sex drive and I enjoy it.


Which I guess is why I don't even understand the argument ... truly.

You're happy with yourself, very comfortable with your sexuality and believe you have a lot to give the right guy ... 

which means you're going to attract the right guy, regardless whether your skinny or curvy. But odds are ... you don't see the right guy as weighing 250 lbs, and can't see his own toes, or maybe you do ... I have no idea.

And presuming that you married Mr. Right and he started marching towards 250 because he figures he can slack off now, you wouldn't be happy about that either.

People really think that is a ridiculous position?

'Bias' becomes entangled in virtually every discussion we have here regarding weight.


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## that_girl

I prefer my hubs with a little belly. YUMMY! While separated, he got soooo skinny. But since moving home, he's gained about 15 pounds!!  LOVE IT!


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## Trenton

Deejo said:


> Cripes ... you're starting to sound like Conrad.


We are the same person. You're starting to sound British.


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## Deejo

Trenton said:


> We are the same person. You're starting to sound British.


My diction is showing.


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## Trenton

Since this is your thread can we make a concerted effort to make it go off topic?


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## Conrad

Trenton said:


> Since this is your thread can we make a concerted effort to make it go off topic?


Is it really an effort?


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## Trenton

Conrad said:


> Is it really an effort?


You have a point.


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## Kobo

Trenton said:


> You have a point.




You look like your son or vice versa


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## Conrad

Trenton said:


> You have a point.


Other than the one on my head?


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## Trenton

Kobo said:


> You look like your son or vice versa


You think? I'm never told that. I'm always told my three kids look nothing like me.


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## Trenton

Conrad said:


> Other than the one on my head?


Really? A point on top of your head? I'm a little afraid to even go there.


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## Conrad

Trenton said:


> Really? A point on top of your head? I'm a little afraid to even go there.



And here I didn't think you were afraid of anything.


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## toolate

EleGirl said:


> Then obviously you need more sex and less beer!!


:lol:

Or RD, you arent using the right muscles when you are doing it. Use your core

When I have sex consistently, dont need a gym bc Im already in decent shape... the sex does wonders to tone in just the right places

When I met my husband I was so thin I was wearing clothes that now fit my 8 years old daughter... eeks. I didnt know I was that thin... but hey, I had been through 6 months with a failed pancreas and wasnt digesting food at all, so I stopped eating basically. Left my ex and everything cleared up and pancreas healed and back to normal. I have curves now top and bottom and husband says he likes them, equally... I just wish he would show me more

Never had ta tas before, so they are a blessing and a curse... jogging is not as comfortable. So I use a stepper machine instead.


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## Halien

ddindiana said:


> So what we are saying here is, thin women are happy. I think just because a woman is thin doesn't make her happy. I agree with deejo. my exwife was thin and unhappy and depressed, so she left. Run like dogs is right thicker, curvy women are sexier and much hotter. Who wants a thin girl when you can have a curvy woman.


Can't assume that all thin women are unhappy, and that the curvy women on this thread represent the population. Be honest. How many thin women could actually get away with posting on a thread like this positively, and actually get away with it unscathed? Or men who found thinner frames more desirable? Right now, I can almost hear the mental judgement gears clicking in, making assumptions about how superficial I am for even bringing up the point. Give the study at least some credibility, because it does seem to represent some broad assumptions people make. My wife's therapist, who has a phd and works with eating disorders, tells us that women generally expect themselves to be thinner than their husband if they were thin when the two of them met. She even says that a woman's self loathing is generally the root of the unhappiness in weight issues in many of the cases. Yet, so much of the energy on a board like this is directed at making men to be the cause of the problem with a woman's self-esteem issues. To even suggest that the average man can somehow be responsible for his wife's weight gain suggests some pretty harsh bias about men in general, considering that most of us literally feel like we're walking through a minefield around our wife's self-esteem when she gains weight. 

Whatever a woman's weight is, if she is happy with her current weight, most men would consider this to be sexy. This should stand out like an epiphany when you read about a curvy woman who accepts her sexuality. Instead, we turn it into drivel about implying that thin women are bad in bed (as in a previous post), or men causing the self-loathing in an obese woman's psyche.


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## Laurae1967

Trenton said:


> We see what we want to see.


True dat!

Anyone can find a "scientific" study to support their discriminatory thinking - women can't do math, blacks can't do x, y, z, fat people are all unhealthy and lazy, puerto ricans don't want to work, engineers don't have feelings, gays are responsible for the wall street crash, models are stupid (and so are blonds), men are the weaker sex, asians are a cruel people, etc. 

But a study doesn't mean it's actually viable, peer reviewed, or designed in a way to produce credible results.

I encourage people who read that piece of drivel to review the good comments at the bottom of the article.


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## AFEH

Part of the problem is that obese women label women well within their BMI thin. I guess because it makes them feel better about their own obesity. Fat, thin, slim, skinny are all relative and exceptionally subjective terms. For example a woman who is 30 pounds overweight will be positively thin to a woman who is 150 pounds over weight.


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## AFEH

I’ve a good friend who’s spot on with her weight. She was told recently in no uncertain terms by a “friend” that she’s maintaining her weight by making herself sick in the mornings because her husband likes her that way. This friend of mine is very high energy with a high metabolism, she’s a real goer and the remarks upset her. Of course the woman who made the accusation is a real tubby.


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## Kobo

Trenton said:


> Really? A point on top of your head? I'm a little afraid to even go there.


Eyes look the same to me I only have you and not your husband to refer to.


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## Deejo

Laurae1967 said:


> True dat!
> 
> Anyone can find a "scientific" study to support their discriminatory thinking - women can't do math, blacks can't do x, y, z, fat people are all unhealthy and lazy, puerto ricans don't want to work, engineers don't have feelings, gays are responsible for the wall street crash, models are stupid (and so are blonds), men are the weaker sex, asians are a cruel people, etc.
> 
> But a study doesn't mean it's actually viable, peer reviewed, or designed in a way to produce credible results.
> 
> I encourage people who read that piece of drivel to review the good comments at the bottom of the article.


So ... let me get this right, you're saying that preference and attraction are discriminatory?

So a woman that is attracted to, and prefers to date men that are her height or taller is like being a racist? 

Interesting.

And you are no doubt right that anyone with access to the internet and capable of leaving a comment is equally or better qualified to comment on the subject than the authors of the study, who were presumably a bunch of drunken frat boys ...

You are quite obviously a very intelligent woman. But ... I do not always understand your perspective surrounding topics such as this.

From the abstract (The entire study is available as a free pdf download should anyone wish it):

Andrea L. Meltzer1
James K. McNulty1
Sarah A. Novak2
Emily A. Butler3
Benjamin R. Karney4

1University of Tennessee, Knoxville, USA
2Hofstra University, Hempstead, NY, USA
3University of Arizona, Tucson, USA
4University of California, Los Angeles, USA

Andrea L. Meltzer, University of Tennessee, 1404 Circle Drive, Austin Peay Building, Knoxville, TN 37996, USA Email: [email protected]

Abstract

Body weight plays a significant role in attraction and relationship formation, but does it continue to shape more established relationships? The current 4-year longitudinal study of 169 newlywed couples addressed this question by examining the implications of own and partner body mass index (BMI) for the trajectory of marital satisfaction. In contrast to findings from studies of attraction and mate selection, own and partner BMI demonstrated inconsistent effects on the trajectory of satisfaction. However, consistent with predictions derived from interdependence theory, normative resource theories, and evolutionary perspectives, husbands were more satisfied initially and wives were more satisfied over time to the extent that wives had lower BMIs than their husbands, controlling for depression, income, education, and whether the relationship ended in divorce. These findings suggest that a dyadic perspective may be more appropriate than an individual one for understanding how partners' qualities shape established relationships such as marriage.


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## Halien

Laurae1967 said:


> True dat!
> 
> Anyone can find a "scientific" study to support their discriminatory thinking - women can't do math, blacks can't do x, y, z, fat people are all unhealthy and lazy, puerto ricans don't want to work, engineers don't have feelings, gays are responsible for the wall street crash, models are stupid (and so are blonds), men are the weaker sex, asians are a cruel people, etc.
> 
> But a study doesn't mean it's actually viable, peer reviewed, or designed in a way to produce credible results.
> 
> I encourage people who read that piece of drivel to review the good comments at the bottom of the article.


A 'guilt by association' approach to an article by uncredentialed posters does not inherently make it wrong, either. Typically, peer-reviewed criteria requirements are weighed by the intended functional applications of the study, i.e. its charter. In thinking about the general accepted standards of studies of this nature, and the professionals involved in the study, I'm not understanding why you would imply that a study of this nature should even justify additional grants for professional consultation, given the scope that is communicated. Yes, if we were using these results to dictate funding for government programs, then the thousands of dollars for peer review might be warranted, but isn't the whole argument just a tad overkill? The professional input into the study, as communicated by Deejo, clearly seem to fit the intended scope and application of the study. We're not building a better rocket propulsion system here, or curing AIDS, or even presenting a government agency with a new way of approaching their client base. I think you'd be hard pressed to find more than a handful of study overviews without functional applications to be run through a higher level peer review process.


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## Enchantment

Well, I thought it was a rather interesting article. When I first read the title, I thought to myself, "Oh boy, here we go again on the weight merry-go-round" and I initially skipped over the thread and reading the article. 

But the point of the article, which was explicitly stated that it was done on newlyweds btw and measured their satisfaction in the first couple of years of marriage - not satisfaction over a ltr - was only that a wife had to be thinner than her husband, not thin! So, if they were both overweight to begin with and the wife was slightly thinner than the husband, they were satisfied. To me, it's kind of akin to a person wanting to marry someone who is taller than they are (and I know that many women seem to desire this in a partner.)

Anecdotally, I have heard more than once a couple say something like "Oh well, we have gotten heavy together - so all's good." So, it does make me wonder if there are more issues when one spouse or the other starts to skew one way or the other.


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## Therealbrighteyes

Deejo said:


> So ... let me get this right, you're saying that preference and attraction are discriminatory?
> 
> So a woman that is attracted to, and prefers to date men that are her height or taller is like being a racist?
> 
> Interesting.
> 
> .[/FONT]


If we are judged based on who we are attracted to, then we are ALL racist, heightest, eyest, etc. I am not attracted to men under 6 feet and even that is too short for me. 6'3" or taller. I am attracted to green or blue eyes for the most part. I don't see how having these preferences makes me some how in the same category as say the South during the 1950's.


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## AFEH

Enchantment said:


> Well, I thought it was a rather interesting article. When I first read the title, I thought to myself, "Oh boy, here we go again on the weight merry-go-round" and I initially skipped over the thread and reading the article.
> 
> But the point of the article, which was explicitly stated that it was done on newlyweds btw and measured their satisfaction in the first couple of years of marriage - not satisfaction over a ltr - was only that a wife had to be thinner than her husband, not thin! So, if they were both overweight to begin with and the wife was slightly thinner than the husband, they were satisfied. To me, it's kind of akin to a person wanting to marry someone who is taller than they are (and I know that many women seem to desire this in a partner.)
> 
> Anecdotally, I have heard more than once a couple say something like "Oh well, we have gotten heavy together - so all's good." So, it does make me wonder if there are more issues when one spouse or the other starts to skew one way or the other.


Yes it’s the relative and subjective nature of it all. A guy 150 pounds over weight is probably going to be attracted to a woman say 100 pounds over weight, slimmer than he is. But a guy who is within his BMI is not going to be attracted to the 100 pound over weight woman.


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## Trenton

Conrad said:


> And here I didn't think you were afraid of anything.


That is a very silly thought. I am afraid of a lot. I overcome it mostly.


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## that_girl

AFEH said:


> Yes it’s the relative and subjective nature of it all. A guy 150 pounds over weight is probably going to be attracted to a woman say 100 pounds over weight, slimmer than he is. But a guy who is within his BMI is not going to be attracted to the 100 pound over weight woman.


For the most part.

There are tons of "chubby chasers" out there and many of these men are not fat.


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## Deejo

I've stated many times, I find anything pertaining to relationship dynamics fascinating. What makes them flourish and what kills them off.

I don't have a 'fat' agenda.
And I try to understand context and subjectivity. Had my ex and I participated in this study within the framework of 4 years, we both would have claimed being 'highy satisfied' with our marriage.

Fast forward another 4 years, and it was a different story.

BMI was without question part of our initial attraction. We met in a health club after all. But it had nothing to do with our downfall.

The premise of the study is not nefarious, nor is it absolute. Few things are, after all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes

Deejo said:


> I've stated many times, I find anything pertaining to relationship dynamics fascinating. What makes them flourish and what kills them off.
> 
> I don't have a 'fat' agenda.
> And I try to understand context and subjectivity. Had my ex and I participated in this study within the framework of 4 years, we both would have claimed being 'highy satisfied' with our marriage.
> 
> Fast forward another 4 years, and it was a different story.
> 
> BMI was without question part of our initial attraction. We met in a health club after all. But it had nothing to do with our downfall.
> 
> The premise of the study is not nefarious, nor is it absolute. Few things are, after all.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Whatcho talkin' 'bout Willis? Who said you have a fat agenda? That's ridiculous. It's a preference, not an agenda.


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## AFEH

that_girl said:


> For the most part.
> 
> There are tons of "chubby chasers" out there and many of these men are not fat.


Chubby, fat, thin, slim etc. all relative and all subjective. Unless you use absolutes it doesn't mean a thing.


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## Trenton

We see what we want to see and I have proof as everyone on here has had different experiences and has different preferences. There's all the proof you need. You really don't need an expert to backup what you think but if you do, you'll be able to find one.

Kobo, can't believe I'm going to show you a pic of my husband as he will keeeeel me (but in reality he looks just like all three of my children).

As you can see he is shorter than me and about 40 pounds heavier than me now but when we were married he was about 10 pounds lighter than me and still shorter than me.

Is this an anomaly that you can just write off or is the truth more so that there are millions of couples that fall outside of the norm, making it the norm?

Like I said, it depends on what you want to see.


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## ocotillo

Generalities are horribly unfair to the individual and often result in hurt feelings. 

Just take studies like this for what they're worth. A _general_ observation about the population at large that doesn't necessarily affect you personally.

I took up running ten years ago as an alternative to blood pressure medication. My wife is round in all the right places. I like it that way and we're happy.


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## Deejo

Oh for the love ...

read the fine print rather than the sensational sound byte.

Again ... from the abstract:



> In contrast to findings from studies of attraction and mate selection, own and partner BMI demonstrated inconsistent effects on the trajectory of satisfaction. However, consistent with predictions derived from interdependence theory, normative resource theories, and evolutionary perspectives, husbands were more satisfied initially and wives were more satisfied over time to the extent that wives had lower BMIs than their husbands, controlling for depression, income, education, and whether the relationship ended in divorce. These findings suggest that a dyadic perspective may be more appropriate than an individual one for understanding how partners' qualities shape established relationships such as marriage.


To sum up ...

Your mileage may vary. It depends upon the dyad ... in human speak ... the couple and their values. Out of the gate, men _tend_ to be more satisfied with a woman that has a lower bmi. Over time, women _tend_ to be more satisfied when their bmi is lower than their husbands.


Trenton loves her shorter husband.

TBRE won't give you the time of day if you are beneath her statuesque Nordic, Valkyrie visage.

And I apparently am attracted to chicks built like dudes. Go figure ...


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## Trenton

Deejo said:


> Oh for the love ...
> 
> read the fine print rather than the sensational sound byte.
> 
> Again ... from the abstract:
> 
> 
> 
> To sum up ...
> 
> Your mileage may vary. It depends upon the dyad ... in human speak ... the couple and their values. Out of the gate, men _tend_ to be more satisfied with a woman that has a lower bmi. Over time, women _tend_ to be more satisfied when their bmi is lower than their husbands.
> 
> 
> Trenton loves her shorter husband.
> 
> TBRE won't give you the time of day if you are beneath her statuesque Nordic, Valkyrie visage.
> 
> And I apparently am attracted to chicks built like dudes. Go figure ...


Yeps.


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## Laurae1967

Deejo said:


> I've stated many times, I find anything pertaining to relationship dynamics fascinating. What makes them flourish and what kills them off.
> 
> I don't have a 'fat' agenda.
> And I try to understand context and subjectivity. Had my ex and I participated in this study within the framework of 4 years, we both would have claimed being 'highy satisfied' with our marriage.
> 
> Fast forward another 4 years, and it was a different story.
> 
> BMI was without question part of our initial attraction. We met in a health club after all. But it had nothing to do with our downfall.
> 
> The premise of the study is not nefarious, nor is it absolute. Few things are, after all.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


But I think you DO have a fat agenda (or rather, a thin agenda). You found the article and posted it even though we have many other active threads that are discussing weight and attraction. That didn't happen because you were interested in relationship dynamics. And you posted an article that actually does not add any value to the conversation because the trial (70 couples) did not actually measure anything that actually means anything in an objective way, with a misleading title that you put in the subject line. Come on, you had no agenda? Really? I call BS on that! Even you initial comment when you posted the thread "Hey, I just post this stuff...." is a red herring.


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## Laurae1967

Oh, and the study was funded by......a pharmaceutical company that sells diet pills, right?


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## Deejo

You'll never know unless you get a hold of me with your golden lasso.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trenton

Laurae1967 said:


> Oh, and the study was funded by......a pharmaceutical company that sells diet pills, right?


Ugh.


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## Laurae1967

Deejo said:


> You'll never know unless you get a hold of me with your golden lasso.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know, I know.....you're very important. You have many leather-bound books and your apartment smells of rich mahogany.


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## Therealbrighteyes

Laurae1967 said:


> I know, I know.....you're very important. You have many leather-bound books and your apartment smells of rich mahogany.


Apartment?! Pffft. Deejo lives on Mount Olympus and it smells of Pegasus and unicorns.  and


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## I Know

Laurae1967 said:


> But I think you DO have a fat agenda (or rather, a thin agenda). You found the article and posted it even though we have many other active threads that are discussing weight and attraction. That didn't happen because you were interested in relationship dynamics. And you posted an article that actually does not add any value to the conversation because the trial (70 couples) did not actually measure anything that actually means anything in an objective way, with a misleading title that you put in the subject line. Come on, you had no agenda? Really? I call BS on that! Even you initial comment when you posted the thread "Hey, I just post this stuff...." is a red herring.


Laurae, are you surprised by this study? It intuitively makes complete sense. You would get the same answers if you did a study on height in couples. Both partners would TEND to be happier if the male is taller than the female.


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## RandomDude

I'm only taller then the missus by 3 inches =/ and she likes her heels

I love those long legs of hers as long as they aren't killing me


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## SockPuppet

MY only real critiscism would be the use of BMI, as its absoultely unable to properly calculate BF%.


*"Wives are happier to the extent that their husbands are happy," *

My wife is very empathetic, and the above quote is very true. If she were thinner than me, I would absolutely be happier in marriage.

I dont see what all the knit-picking is about.


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## Dexter Morgan

RandomDude said:


> It's funny really, I have a faster metabolism then wifey, so when we do let ourselves go, I end up losing weight, and she ends up gaining :rofl:
> 
> So when we end up not being able to sustain our favorite positions (standing ones), I blame it on her gaining weight, and she ends up blaming it on me for losing weight. Heh, but the sex keeps us lean and strong I guess. Only time she went hardcore working out was after preggies.
> 
> And right now she's still bugging me to turn my 4 pack back into a 6 pack but I tell her that the last 2 packs are reserved for my alcohol! :smthumbup:


Wow, I know most men would get beyotch slapped upside the head for mentioning a weight gain in their wife.


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## okeydokie

Dexter Morgan said:


> Wow, I know most men would get beyotch slapped upside the head for mentioning a weight gain in their wife.


you only need to be some unknown random internet poster to get that kind of slap


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## AppleDucklings

I used to be super skinny. I weighed 95lbs when I met my now ex husband. 3 pregnancies later, I am now an average size 12. And guess what? Men like curves, and I have curves. Guess who else was a size 12? Marilyn Monroe. She was so much sexier than the little twigs out walking around now. I don't care to see your ribs, thank you very much. But some men do prefer super skinny. I have a friend who thinks she can only be pretty by being as small as possible. I'm average and I get complimented a lot on my looks.


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## pidge70

Trenton said:


> We see what we want to see and I have proof as everyone on here has had different experiences and has different preferences. There's all the proof you need. You really don't need an expert to backup what you think but if you do, you'll be able to find one.
> 
> Kobo, can't believe I'm going to show you a pic of my husband as he will keeeeel me (but in reality he looks just like all three of my children).
> 
> As you can see he is shorter than me and about 40 pounds heavier than me now but when we were married he was about 10 pounds lighter than me and still shorter than me.
> 
> Is this an anomaly that you can just write off or is the truth more so that there are millions of couples that fall outside of the norm, making it the norm?
> 
> Like I said, it depends on what you want to see.


Awwwww, you guys are sooo cute Trenton!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude

Dexter Morgan said:


> Wow, I know most men would get beyotch slapped upside the head for mentioning a weight gain in their wife.


Classic Movie Line #15 - YouTube
:rofl:

Too bad, when she has no excuse for her weight gain I'll drill it into her, same as when I do lose weight and get lazy she drills it into me. I wouldn't love her if she can't handle honesty.

But I have to learn how to be more sensitive about it from time to time, like once a while back she asked me if she looked fat and I told her something like "yeah sure, might have to drop by another shop and purchase a few harpoons on our way back home" :rofl:

I was such an ass, I knew what her reaction would be but hehe... sometimes I can't help but amuse myself


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## Tall Average Guy

AppleDucklings said:


> I used to be super skinny. I weighed 95lbs when I met my now ex husband. 3 pregnancies later, I am now an average size 12. And guess what? Men like curves, and I have curves. Guess who else was a size 12? Marilyn Monroe. She was so much sexier than the little twigs out walking around now. I don't care to see your ribs, thank you very much. But some men do prefer super skinny. I have a friend who thinks she can only be pretty by being as small as possible. I'm average and I get complimented a lot on my looks.


Some men do prefer super skinny but others don't. I was traveling a while back, and at the bar of this restuarant (to watch sports). The two bar tenders where you ladies in their mid-20s, one a bit taller and thin, the other shorter, but with great curves. Both were pretty in the face. 

It was interesting watching three local guys flirting with the two of them. They knew each other and were talking a lot. As I watched and listened, it was clear that the three guys were flirting with the curvy woman. They initiated conversation with her, teased her, etc., while they really only taked to the thinner girl when they had to. Yet in the conversation, the curvy girl commented that she needed to lose weight so that she could be a shorted version of the other bartender. She was the center of attention for these three guys and all she could think of was that she needed to lose weight. I felt a bit sad for her.


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## FirstYearDown

My husband and I were both thinner when we met. Over our five years together, we have gained weight.

I just saw my doctor the other day. He is happy with my health, except for the extra weight. One thing the sweet guy said was: "_As a doctor, I need to tell you to stop calling yourself fat. You are NOT fat, just a little overweight. You are not obese. Women develop eating disorders when their body image is distorted_."

I love my body, except for my stomach pooch. I am working on that, despite the fact that I have to take medicine that causes weight gain. It will be more difficult, but not impossible.

If a man loves a curvy woman, he will not be happy with a thin wife. My husband loves my round bum and my big chest. :smthumbup:


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## RandomDude

Get yourself and him (hehe) on the pole! But then again... it does build muscle definition. Not all men like their women toned either it seems =/


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