# Husband unfriends me on FB after fight



## sbsilkey27 (11 mo ago)

I have been married for a year. Recently, when my husband and I fight, he unfriends me on FB. This, has happened two or three times, within the past couple months. Our disagreements aren’t over anything big. He gets upset and unfriends me. I don’t understand why a 45 year old man does this? We have no mutual friends, but his parents. After he unfriends me, he then makes a comment about having toxic things in his life, or people taking advantage of him. He never makes these comments, unless we fight and I get unfriended. I have tried talking to him about it, telling him how I feel. He says, I care to much what people think. I said, hell no. It’s immature and completely foolish. I feel he goes out of his way to do, but when things are great, he doesn’t say positive posts about our marriage. I think I have a right to feel frustrated and upset. I don’t know what else to do.


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## hairyhead (Oct 30, 2015)

He's a child. Treat him as such.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

What is he. 15?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

He doesn't know how to properly express his anger.

The comments about toxic people and being used? He's blaming (and also setting himself up as a victim of others), which is a form of anger. Deleting you is a form of anger.

He's attempting to manipulate/control/manage you. And it may not even be a conscioous choice. It's probably habitual.

And you did the right thing by refusing to take it on. Unfortunately, you'll have to continue doing this, because this is how he handles conflict.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

...


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Why the ever living heck are you people wasting time on fb?


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

He sounds like a man child. Treat him like a child, when he defriends you don't give a reaction. Who cares?


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## DallasCowboyFan (Nov 20, 2012)

He cares what other people think as he is recruiting them to his side on social media. You could be upset with him over this without really caring what they think - upset with him for bashing you to others. What they think isn't really the point. Married people don't always agree and sometimes have arguments, but compromises your relationship when airing your side of the dumpster on social media. Is he drinking when he does this? Years ago I had a major drinking problem and did this a few times. We went to counseling and the counselor called out this behavior. I was able to quit drinking and become a great husband but I had to want to change and fix my marriage. This is not something a sober person does if they want to spend their life with the party they are attacking. This could be a tool to claim loyalty of mutual friends prior to a divorce. It's controlling and manipulative at best


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Next time, unfriend him and leave things that way. Then he can't manipulate you through fb.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

sbsilkey27 said:


> I have been married for a year. Recently, when my husband and I fight, he unfriends me on FB. This, has happened two or three times, within the past couple months. Our disagreements aren’t over anything big. He gets upset and unfriends me. I don’t understand why a 45 year old man does this? We have no mutual friends, but his parents. After he unfriends me, he then makes a comment about having toxic things in his life, or people taking advantage of him. He never makes these comments, unless we fight and I get unfriended. I have tried talking to him about it, telling him how I feel. He says, I care to much what people think. I said, hell no. It’s immature and completely foolish. I feel he goes out of his way to do, but when things are great, he doesn’t say positive posts about our marriage. I think I have a right to feel frustrated and upset. I don’t know what else to do.


So.... Why are you married to such a childish man?

If you want to stick around then just unfriend him on FB and be done with it. You never have to see anything he posts. 

Honestly I think you need to fully assess why you are married and what other red flags there are that show this guy isn't marriage material.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

minimalME said:


> He doesn't know how to properly express his anger.
> 
> The comments about toxic people and being used? He's blaming (and also setting himself up as a victim of others), which is a form of anger. Deleting you is a form of anger.
> 
> ...


Good grief there are some very immature people out there.🤨


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Good grief there are some very immature people out there.🤨


Of course there are, and the majority of these comments aren't helpful.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

alright. none of this is probably helping the OP.

how about talking your hubby into seeing a psychologist?
Psychologists are very good at teaching people coping mechanisms. 
So when your husband feels hurt and wants to childishly get back at you in the future, he might be able to use the new coping mechanism he just learned, and instead discuss things with you.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

sbsilkey27 said:


> he doesn’t say positive posts about our marriage. I think I have a right to feel frustrated and upset. I don’t know what else to do.


Sounds to me like you are more interested in your right to feel frustrated and upset than you are in your husband. Perhaps he doesn't say anything positive about your marriage because he doesn't see anything positive in it. 

For some reason, out of all the women on this planet, he picked you. Now you say he has nothing positive to say about your marriage. How do you treat him when he comes home from work? Do you greet him with a smile and a kiss, letting him know that you are happy that he is home, or are you irritable with him? Do you make your home a place that he wants to come home to or are you using him as a punching bag to relieve your own stress? Do you let him know that you love and appreciate him or do you nag and criticize him? How about trying this; let the little things go. Let it roll off you and be grateful for your love and friendship. Love your husband more than you love your issues. I'm willing to bet that if you are a better wife, then you will get a better husband in return.


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## The IT Guy (Oct 17, 2020)

I wouldn’t waste my time ‘friending’ him again if he’s going to act like an idiot. I don’t have anything for FakeBook but fights happen. But he’s acting like an immature idiot.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Purely my opinion ...
But it also happens to be correct.
Focus on what is happening 'IRL' when you speak, interact, and how you conduct your marriage and relationship.

Leave FB out of it completely. It's not a real place. Frankly nothing about FB is real. His behavior on that platform as it pertains to how you conduct yourselves when interacting is meaningless. I suspect part of him does it because he knows it pisses you off. The easy fix is not to let it do that, and instead address whatever the actual issue is.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

Proud to say it would be impossible for anyone to unfriend me on Facebook.


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

OP, 

What else?

My point is that he's not some saint who has been perfect all along and then he just did this out of the blue.

You've only been married a year. There have been other signs, other red flags.

You didn't list your age, but he's 45 and I'm guessing you're not a child, not that young, not like 23 years old or something so what is really going on here?

This incident isn't the real issue.

Step back, look at and deal with the larger issue or many more similar incidents will be in your future with him.


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## Skookaroo (Jul 12, 2021)

He’s super immature. In the end, whatever he says about you online says far more about him than it does about you. Trust that the kind of people you want to be friends with understand this concept and take the high road—don’t let it get to you.

It is concerning that a grown man would act so childish. He needs to find healthy ways to cope with his negative emotions.


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

I know teens who do this ****. Very childish. I couldn't live with someone like that.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

sbsilkey27 said:


> I have been married for a year. Recently, when my husband and I fight, he unfriends me on FB. This, has happened two or three times, within the past couple months. Our disagreements aren’t over anything big. He gets upset and unfriends me. I don’t understand why a 45 year old man does this? We have no mutual friends, but his parents. After he unfriends me, he then makes a comment about having toxic things in his life, or people taking advantage of him. He never makes these comments, unless we fight and I get unfriended. I have tried talking to him about it, telling him how I feel. He says, I care to much what people think. I said, hell no. It’s immature and completely foolish. I feel he goes out of his way to do, but when things are great, he doesn’t say positive posts about our marriage. I think I have a right to feel frustrated and upset. I don’t know what else to do.


He's hiding something.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> He's hiding something.


What the fact that he's an ass. He isn't hiding it that well.

Seriously OP you two have to work on some form of communication and stop this 'warring' it isn't healthy for a marriage.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

He is trying to control you by ignoring you


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


sbsilkey27 said:



Recently, when my husband and I fight, he unfriends me on FB. This, has happened two or three times, within the past couple months. Our disagreements aren’t over anything big. He gets upset and unfriends me. I don’t understand why a 45 year old man does this?

Click to expand...

*Yikes. I thought you were in a teenage marriage when I read the title. 😳 Instead, it's a case of being married to an emotionally-stunted man-baby. You expect this type of ignorant, juvenile behavior out of a *13 year old*.

You didn't know he was an emotionally-stunted man-baby BEFORE you married him? If not, then he hid it well and it sounds like a case of the old bait and switch. There may even be a lemon law in your state in which you can trade this fool in for one that isn't defective.


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