# We were dating.. then now.. it all went quiet. :(



## missy.0420 (Oct 28, 2010)

Hi there.. I think I just need a little bit of help with this one. Hope I don't tire you all out while reading this.

I met a guy in our accounting class about two months ago, and he took the effort to come up to one of my girlfriends suggesting that he would like to create a study group with her and me. At first I was a bit skeptical about his idea because I've never heard of anyone trying to create a study group in class since we are all used to studying individually. My friend gave him her number, and two days after that.. he messaged my friend Joan to ask for my number.. Joan called me up and said, "Vicky is it okay if I give your number to Dale? He was asking for your number.." I said yeah alright just give it to him.. a week after that, Dale messaged me asking if he could meet up with me at uni to have a catch up and discuss about our assignment in accounting. by the way, he is 25 doing a degree in civil engineering while I'm 19 in my first year doing a degree in psychology and business. he took accounting as an elective that's why we ended up being classmates. So I said yeah okay let's meet up.

When I met up with him for the very first time, we talked about the assignment for about 30 minutes and then he just started talking to me and sharing his life and pretty much.. we started becoming friends after that day.. he kept on making me laugh and he was very jolly and all friendly and he is a very good-looking guy.. I just found out that he is a model and he goes overseas every now and again to work for L'Oriel or Tommy Hilfiger doing runway modelling. To be honest, I was quite impressed about what he said because he is not only a smart engineering guy, but he's also versatile in doing other creative stuff such as modelling. But I made sure that I didn't act as if I'm very attracted to him, I just acted like a normal chic because I dont wanna be like other girls who just falls head over heels for a real hot guy like him (though I have to admit he's very attractive, has a body of a greek god but still.. I go for personality, not just the looks).

Days after that.. he started getting closer and closer to me.. He stays back at uni to keep me company all the time.. he shares me stories about his life.. he's smarter than me in Maths because he's an engineer so whenever I do assignments for other subjects, he volunteers to do it for me.. he shows me his guy friends on fB and he tells me stories about his family.. he tells me that his sisters are married and her brother is getting married next year.. By the way, he is an Australian and I'm Asian.. so I kinda noticed that he always tells me that his sisters are married to other nationalities such as Mauricians and his guy friends have girl friends that are Asians and Europeans, pretty much other nationalities as well..

On third of September, He and I decided to go to a club and drink together.. I was gonna introduce him to my girlfriends but my girls had their own dates and we parted ways because they went to their boyfriends' house so I was left alone with him in the bar. We were drinking together and we were having a lot of fun, and suddenly.. he said, "So.. would you mind if I kiss you tonight?" the conversation went like these:

D: So would you mind if I kiss you tonight?
V: (i smiled) Why would you wanna kiss me?
D: Because I like you..
V: (and i smiled again) and why do you like me?
D: Because you make me laugh.. and we get along really well..

so yeah I agreed that we should kiss.. because I have to admit, I like him too.. he's such a nice guy and he makes me feel good all the time.. I told him that I just broke up with my ex 6 months ago and I've moved on but I just dont wanna fall into the same trap of being with a player.. he told me, "v, I'm not a player.." I said to him. "but you're a model.. there's a lot of girls out there I'm sure.." he said, "sex appeal fades.. i like you for your personality.. you're full of life.. very optimistic.. and you're really pretty" We just kissed that night and nothing more.. then he drove me home at 2am..

Weeks after that, we kept on seeing each other and we spend time together.. we eat dinner together, we drove to the beach and we hold hands in public, we kiss at school and my friends see that.. they all ask if we're in a relationship, and I say no.. because I think we're in a stage where we just wanna get to know each other more..

He told me that one of his bestfriends committed suicide earlier this year, and he had a little bit of a disappointment for not being a successful model when he went to Germany last year, he thought it would be his pathway to be an actor but something went wrong and he didn't end up pursuing his career. He also admitted to me that he was seeing a girl before me, but that was purely physical attraction and that they only met up to have sex.. He even said that he has never genuinely liked a girl like me in ages.. He has never been this honest to a girl and he feels like he wants to do everything not to hurt my feelings because he knows i just came from a really bad breakup. He told me that he's not ready for a relationship because he wants to sort out his career first and he has an emotional baggage because of his bestfriend who committed suicide, and his modelling career that kinda failed.. I totally agreed with him and I said, maybe we should take things slow and just get to know each other.. "we're in no rush anyway.. so take your time.. if we remain friends in the end, that's totally fine.. no pressure D"

I also told him that I'm not having sex with anyone I'm not in a relationship with.. I told him that I hope it wont disappoint him if I dont have sex with him after a few dates, because I'm personally not up for a casual sex, I'm more reserved when it comes to sexual relationships, i just do it when I'm exclusive.. He was totally cool with it.. He said, "v I like you in a deeper sense.. not just physical attraction.. it is more than that.. I'm fine with whatever.. I dont wait for sex.. I just love your company.. I love being with you.. and if we just kiss and touch like what we do right now.. I'm cool with that" He's kissed my neck and has gone through the second base, has done a little bit of ass grab but that's about it. he never got into my pants.

I'm younger than him and whenever I tell him things about my family, my mom and my dad.. he always give me good pieces of advice on how to improve my relationship with my mom when she gets really strict.. he listens to my worries, he pays a lot of attention to everything i say, he tells me things about life.. and he told me that even if I'm younger than him, I think and act like a 22 year old and he really finds that very impressive.. but he said to me that i'm very young and even if we end up being in a relationship in the end, he wants me to go travelling and explore life before i become in a relationship with anyone.. i go to the philippines every christmas because i was born there, so I think he finds it nice that i'm travelling at a young age too.

here's the thing.. just earlier this month.. I saw his comments on lots of other model girls' photos saying these sorts of things: "you look really pretty.. so when are you coming back to aussie? maybe we can watch movie together." those sort of stuff.. he says that to so many girls.. so I know we're not exclusive but when I saw those things, I began to question whether he is genuine or not..

Two weeks ago we were suppose to go on a date, but he cancelled it an hour before he was gonna pick me up.. He said that he is sick and he just came from work, and he's very tired. plus he has a project he needs to work with for his final year in engineering and it's due a week after so he needs to focus on that.. I understood him though I felt a little bit disappointed coz i was very excited for that date, i even bought a dress for it. haha. i messaged him back and said "it's totally fine.. i understand what you mean coz i feel pressured with uni stuff too.. and I hope all is well.. goodluck on your project and see you then.. xx"

I kinda believe that he's not lying because I see his statuses on fB and he keeps on telling everyone that he's busy with his project.. that it's stressing him out.. that his project is driving him crazy coz its hard.. and he also mentioned something about being allergic to penicillin that's why he feels sick.. I didnt comment on any of those, because LOTS of girls comment on his statuses.. they call him "Baby" and i have to be honest but that kinda threw me off.. majority of the people commenting on his fB are women, and I dont mean to judge him but i just observed that he's such a sweet talker.. he calls almost every girl, "babe" and he flirts with them on fb by inviting girls to hang out with him or something..

I deleted my biography on fB the other night, and I noticed when I looked at his facebook, he deleted his recent status where lots of girls were commenting on as well.. I dont know if his act of doing that was related to what I did, but i have a feeling that he gets the idea that i'm kinda turned off by the fact that he loves sweet-talking with women.

It's been two weeks now and he still hasn't called or messaged me to reschedule our date or even just to check on me.. It's our exam month this month.. and our accounting exam is next week.. last month he promised me that he'll help me with accounting before the exams, but the exam is next week and no call from him still.. i understand he may be busy with his project, and im not expecting him to teach me for accounting because i can do it myself.. i just thought that maybe if he really likes me, he'd use it to find a way to contact me..

also, he wasn't the type of guy who would put up statuses about his life on fb.. am i right to think that maybe he was putting up statuses about himself so that I know that he's genuine when he said he's busy? I have a feeling that he's trying to show me that he's truly sick and he's real busy thats why he didnt make it to our date.. Or is he waiting for me to comment on him? because he doesnt comment on my statuses recently.. err mind games!

I did not call him or message him this past two weeks because I dont want to sound desperate in contacting him.. He cancelled on me on our last date, I believe that he should reschedule it if he really likes me..

Sorry this is a novel! I thought i'd tell the whole story so you'd have a pretty good idea about what's truly going on..

Right now, I dont know if he still likes me? is he's genuine with everything that he said to me?.. or am i just one of those girls that he tried hitting on and dated and felt sour after? is he ever gonna call me again? or should i just forget about it? What am i gonna do if he didnt call and I saw him in the accounting exam next week? (gosh that would be awkward).. was he lying all along? Was he just trying to get into my pants?

All this things are in my mind right now.. I study to forget thinking about it.. I try not to over-analyse.. but sometimes, you just cant stop thinking about it especially when you have started having a connection with him..

Thanks for the time i really appreciate you reading my story.. and feel free to share your opinions, as I really like listening to other people's point of views too.. Thanks a lot 

Hi there.. I think I just need a little bit of help with this one. Hope I don't tire you all out while reading this.

I met a guy in our accounting class about two months ago, and he took the effort to come up to one of my girlfriends suggesting that he would like to create a study group with her and me. At first I was a bit skeptical about his idea because I've never heard of anyone trying to create a study group in class since we are all used to studying individually. My friend gave him her number, and two days after that.. he messaged my friend Joan to ask for my number.. Joan called me up and said, "Vicky is it okay if I give your number to Dale? He was asking for your number.." I said yeah alright just give it to him.. a week after that, Dale messaged me asking if he could meet up with me at uni to have a catch up and discuss about our assignment in accounting. by the way, he is 25 doing a degree in civil engineering while I'm 19 in my first year doing a degree in psychology and business. he took accounting as an elective that's why we ended up being classmates. So I said yeah okay let's meet up.

When I met up with him for the very first time, we talked about the assignment for about 30 minutes and then he just started talking to me and sharing his life and pretty much.. we started becoming friends after that day.. he kept on making me laugh and he was very jolly and all friendly and he is a very good-looking guy.. I just found out that he is a model and he goes overseas every now and again to work for L'Oriel or Tommy Hilfiger doing runway modelling. To be honest, I was quite impressed about what he said because he is not only a smart engineering guy, but he's also versatile in doing other creative stuff such as modelling. But I made sure that I didn't act as if I'm very attracted to him, I just acted like a normal chic because I dont wanna be like other girls who just falls head over heels for a real hot guy like him (though I have to admit he's very attractive, has a body of a greek god but still.. I go for personality, not just the looks).

Days after that.. he started getting closer and closer to me.. He stays back at uni to keep me company all the time.. he shares me stories about his life.. he's smarter than me in Maths because he's an engineer so whenever I do assignments for other subjects, he volunteers to do it for me.. he shows me his guy friends on fB and he tells me stories about his family.. he tells me that his sisters are married and her brother is getting married next year.. By the way, he is an Australian and I'm Asian.. so I kinda noticed that he always tells me that his sisters are married to other nationalities such as Mauricians and his guy friends have girl friends that are Asians and Europeans, pretty much other nationalities as well..

On third of September, He and I decided to go to a club and drink together.. I was gonna introduce him to my girlfriends but my girls had their own dates and we parted ways because they went to their boyfriends' house so I was left alone with him in the bar. We were drinking together and we were having a lot of fun, and suddenly.. he said, "So.. would you mind if I kiss you tonight?" the conversation went like these:

D: So would you mind if I kiss you tonight?
V: (i smiled) Why would you wanna kiss me?
D: Because I like you..
V: (and i smiled again) and why do you like me?
D: Because you make me laugh.. and we get along really well..

so yeah I agreed that we should kiss.. because I have to admit, I like him too.. he's such a nice guy and he makes me feel good all the time.. I told him that I just broke up with my ex 6 months ago and I've moved on but I just dont wanna fall into the same trap of being with a player.. he told me, "v, I'm not a player.." I said to him. "but you're a model.. there's a lot of girls out there I'm sure.." he said, "sex appeal fades.. i like you for your personality.. you're full of life.. very optimistic.. and you're really pretty" We just kissed that night and nothing more.. then he drove me home at 2am..

Weeks after that, we kept on seeing each other and we spend time together.. we eat dinner together, we drove to the beach and we hold hands in public, we kiss at school and my friends see that.. they all ask if we're in a relationship, and I say no.. because I think we're in a stage where we just wanna get to know each other more..

He told me that one of his bestfriends committed suicide earlier this year, and he had a little bit of a disappointment for not being a successful model when he went to Germany last year, he thought it would be his pathway to be an actor but something went wrong and he didn't end up pursuing his career. He also admitted to me that he was seeing a girl before me, but that was purely physical attraction and that they only met up to have sex.. He even said that he has never genuinely liked a girl like me in ages.. He has never been this honest to a girl and he feels like he wants to do everything not to hurt my feelings because he knows i just came from a really bad breakup. He told me that he's not ready for a relationship because he wants to sort out his career first and he has an emotional baggage because of his bestfriend who committed suicide, and his modelling career that kinda failed.. I totally agreed with him and I said, maybe we should take things slow and just get to know each other.. "we're in no rush anyway.. so take your time.. if we remain friends in the end, that's totally fine.. no pressure D"

I also told him that I'm not having sex with anyone I'm not in a relationship with.. I told him that I hope it wont disappoint him if I dont have sex with him after a few dates, because I'm personally not up for a casual sex, I'm more reserved when it comes to sexual relationships, i just do it when I'm exclusive.. He was totally cool with it.. He said, "v I like you in a deeper sense.. not just physical attraction.. it is more than that.. I'm fine with whatever.. I dont wait for sex.. I just love your company.. I love being with you.. and if we just kiss and touch like what we do right now.. I'm cool with that" He's kissed my neck and has gone through the second base, has done a little bit of ass grab but that's about it. he never got into my pants.

I'm younger than him and whenever I tell him things about my family, my mom and my dad.. he always give me good pieces of advice on how to improve my relationship with my mom when she gets really strict.. he listens to my worries, he pays a lot of attention to everything i say, he tells me things about life.. and he told me that even if I'm younger than him, I think and act like a 22 year old and he really finds that very impressive.. but he said to me that i'm very young and even if we end up being in a relationship in the end, he wants me to go travelling and explore life before i become in a relationship with anyone.. i go to the philippines every christmas because i was born there, so I think he finds it nice that i'm travelling at a young age too.

here's the thing.. just earlier this month.. I saw his comments on lots of other model girls' photos saying these sorts of things: "you look really pretty.. so when are you coming back to aussie? maybe we can watch movie together." those sort of stuff.. he says that to so many girls.. so I know we're not exclusive but when I saw those things, I began to question whether he is genuine or not..

Two weeks ago we were suppose to go on a date, but he cancelled it an hour before he was gonna pick me up.. He said that he is sick and he just came from work, and he's very tired. plus he has a project he needs to work with for his final year in engineering and it's due a week after so he needs to focus on that.. I understood him though I felt a little bit disappointed coz i was very excited for that date, i even bought a dress for it. haha. i messaged him back and said "it's totally fine.. i understand what you mean coz i feel pressured with uni stuff too.. and I hope all is well.. goodluck on your project and see you then.. xx"

I kinda believe that he's not lying because I see his statuses on fB and he keeps on telling everyone that he's busy with his project.. that it's stressing him out.. that his project is driving him crazy coz its hard.. and he also mentioned something about being allergic to penicillin that's why he feels sick.. I didnt comment on any of those, because LOTS of girls comment on his statuses.. they call him "Baby" and i have to be honest but that kinda threw me off.. majority of the people commenting on his fB are women, and I dont mean to judge him but i just observed that he's such a sweet talker.. he calls almost every girl, "babe" and he flirts with them on fb by inviting girls to hang out with him or something..

I deleted my biography on fB the other night, and I noticed when I looked at his facebook, he deleted his recent status where lots of girls were commenting on as well.. I dont know if his act of doing that was related to what I did, but i have a feeling that he gets the idea that i'm kinda turned off by the fact that he loves sweet-talking with women.

It's been two weeks now and he still hasn't called or messaged me to reschedule our date or even just to check on me.. It's our exam month this month.. and our accounting exam is next week.. last month he promised me that he'll help me with accounting before the exams, but the exam is next week and no call from him still.. i understand he may be busy with his project, and im not expecting him to teach me for accounting because i can do it myself.. i just thought that maybe if he really likes me, he'd use it to find a way to contact me..

also, he wasn't the type of guy who would put up statuses about his life on fb.. am i right to think that maybe he was putting up statuses about himself so that I know that he's genuine when he said he's busy? I have a feeling that he's trying to show me that he's truly sick and he's real busy thats why he didnt make it to our date.. Or is he waiting for me to comment on him? because he doesnt comment on my statuses recently.. err mind games!

I did not call him or message him this past two weeks because I dont want to sound desperate in contacting him.. He cancelled on me on our last date, I believe that he should reschedule it if he really likes me..

Sorry this is a novel! I thought i'd tell the whole story so you'd have a pretty good idea about what's truly going on..

Right now, I dont know if he still likes me? is he's genuine with everything that he said to me?.. or am i just one of those girls that he tried hitting on and dated and felt sour after? is he ever gonna call me again? or should i just forget about it? What am i gonna do if he didnt call and I saw him in the accounting exam next week? (gosh that would be awkward).. was he lying all along? Was he just trying to get into my pants?

All this things are in my mind right now.. I study to forget thinking about it.. I try not to over-analyse.. but sometimes, you just cant stop thinking about it especially when you have started having a connection with him..

Thanks for the time i really appreciate you reading my story.. and feel free to share your opinions, as I really like listening to other people's point of views too.. Thanks a lot


----------



## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Wow, that was a long read. Okay, since i don't know him, what i say is pure speculation, but you can take it two ways...

One way - he really is, extremely busy, but... he could of taken the time to reach out to you. Like i've told ladies for years now, when a man wants you, he'll move a montain to get to you.

2nd way - you were moving too slow. Sure you explained everything to him and he agreed. But... men like to be pursued a little too, to ensure its not all one way. He sounds like a half way down to earth, but at the same time popular good looking guy. You did the smart thing by playing you position and not falling over heals for him. But... in moving too slow as much as he says he values that, if another hot chick comes up and wants to holla at him, well it might be a problem. 

Remember, he just came off a "situation" where he was just hooking up with a chick. Your problem, which isn't a problem, is that you are a good girl, who wants to do things the right way. There are always going to be chicks out there, especially if he's as good looking as you say, don't mind skipping bases 1-3 with him. Hopefully this isn't the case and he really is just busy. Btw, this doesn't mean you have to change yourself, there are guys out there who are satisfied with taking things slow, i was like that when i was young half a lifetime ago. I see it like this, if you wanna know bad enough. Send him a quick text. Don't mention anything about the time frame that has elapsed, consider that a non issue ( atleast for now), pretend like nothing is wrong. "Heh, how have you been?" Since you are not his gf, you don't have a lot of room to question the lapse in communication anyway. Just don't get yourself played. Despite your maturity, you are still 19, you wouldn't be the first girl to put aside her principles ... just to be with a guy. Because you can quickly find yourself in his bed, thinking this will consummate the relationship, and then the next thing you know... he's "busy" again all the time.

Good Luck.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

If he hasn't touched base with you in two weeks, I'd take that as a sign.

You can certainly call/email him and just say you were checking on how he was doing with his school work but honestly, I think if he hasn't contacted you, even with a quick "hi" email, he has moved on.


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Duplicate Posts merged. Please only post the same thread once.


----------

