# BJs



## BlueJay12 (Jul 21, 2016)

Hey guys I was hoping to get some input. Me and my husband are in our early 30s and our sex life has actually been fantastic here lately. We just haven't done oral much. He has been very adamant about doing oral for me (and gotten quite good) so I wanted to do the same for him and let him finish orally for the first time instead of just being for a few minutes. I admit I was a little nervous anyway things were going awesome and the signs were there that he was enjoying it. After 45 minutes or so I had to give up I couldn't go any longer. I mean my neck and jaw were spent. I told him I'd try again no worries. And now deep down I am feeling pretty crappy with myself because he's always wanted this. I was doing everything he said felt great except letting him push my head. Maybe it was just the technique but do guys sometimes have a hard time completing with BJs? I've been having a higher drive and I just want to rock his world.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

45 Minutes??

Can't imagine making a woman go that long, it's beyond the scope of human ability.

I cum from a BJ in under 5 minutes. 

Try sticking a vibrator up his ass or use your hands a bit more to give your mouth a break.


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## BlueJay12 (Jul 21, 2016)

Unfortunately it was 45 minutes. I'd stop for a second here and there to readjust. But, yeah, it was a little brutal. Maybe after I was getting tired that was the problem. 

We don't use vibrators and I'm pretty something up his ass won't go over well ha ha!

5 minutes for you? Sigh must be me. 


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

BlueJay12 said:


> We don't use vibrators


Then start.



BlueJay12 said:


> I'm pretty something up his ass won't go over well ha ha!


You don't need to stick it in very far to have the effect, and it can be mind blowing. We're talking about an orgasm x 5, there's a lot of stimulation there. 



BlueJay12 said:


> 5 minutes for you? Sigh must be me.


Could be your technique, could be his lack of sensitivity or he's uptight and can't relax and release, or a combination of both.

When you say you 'don't use vibrators' my first thought is that the two of you are too uptight and rigid.

Loosen up. Try new things. What's the worst that can happen. What's the best that can happen..


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

BlueJay12 said:


> Unfortunately it was 45 minutes. I'd stop for a second here and there to readjust. But, yeah, it was a little brutal. Maybe after I was getting tired that was the problem.
> 
> We don't use vibrators and I'm pretty something up his ass won't go over well ha ha!
> 
> ...


It's rather typical for men to reach orgasm rather quickly from oral. However, you mentioned your H getting to finish orally for the first time. Does this mean the first time with you or the first time ever? 

If he's never reached orgasm from oral, it might be that he has accidentally been conditioned to only orgasm from certain stimulus and his body hasn't learned how to orgasm from oral.

Does he reach orgasm from manual? If so, you can use your hand while using your mouth. You can also try using your hand or PIV until he's close and then finish with your mouth.

Play around with suction, use your tongue, try varying speeds and depths, watch for reactions so you know what he responds best to.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

BlueJay12 said:


> We don't use vibrators and I'm pretty something up his ass won't go over well ha ha!
> 
> 5 minutes for you? Sigh must be me.
> 
> ...


May not be you, I rarely climax from a BJ alone, and when I do there are other things in play or we don't start with the BJ. 

There are good resources out there on proper technique. Porn is not one, that's done more for the camera, so don't mimic what you see there. 

Vibrators are good. Use a small bullet, be creative regarding placement. If you do go for any but play, ask first. Don't just go there, that could end badly for everyone involved.

But put some of the work on him to communicate with you. He needs to provide you some feedback on whats working and what's not. He may be fearful to be honest with you as he thinks you may just get upset and stop all together. And let's face it, a bad BJ is better than no BJ.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

You're a hero for going 45 minutes. The only times I've let my wife go for more than 15 minutes is if she insisted and I didn't want her to think she'd "failed" (and then I still feel guilty).

Some guys are quick, some can't.

The big trick is not changing anything up once the build up to the finish begins (have him let you know when this happens).

Usually it just takes practice to find out what works.

EDIT: Putting anything up my ass is a no-go!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

It is very good of you to make the attempt. 

The key is to find out what he enjoys. Remember that the brain is the most important sex organ and IMHO, BJs are very special in that they can vary tremendously in mood. They can be something you do in a loving fashion. They can be something controlling - you are going to "make" him finish. They can be submissive - you are his sex slave. They can be naughty - with laughing and dirty talk. 

Find out which (of the ones you are comfortable doing) he finds exciting.

Also, despite rumors, there are some men who just don't like BJs, or who don't like to finish that way. If that is true, then that is fine - you can find other ways to please him.

Technique matters a little, but not so much. Ask what he likes. Maybe watch homemade porn (not the pro stuff) for ideas. 

BTW - I'm incredibly jealous of him, its something I love but my wife won't do.


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

i rarely orgasm from oral sex and the only way i do is if there's thrusting on my part. i'm not saying oral isn't good, it just doesn't get me there.


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## BlueJay12 (Jul 21, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> It's rather typical for men to reach orgasm rather quickly from oral. However, you mentioned your H getting to finish orally for the first time. Does this mean the first time with you or the first time ever?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



He's never had an orgasm from oral. So first time ever. He can orgasm from manual fairly quickly. And sex too. The thing is he likes me to squeeze hard for manual and so maybe he's use to that and my mouth can't "squeeze" as hard. I was using my hand under my mouth though. I even tried using my opposite hand to caress him some. 



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## BlueJay12 (Jul 21, 2016)

Buddy400 said:


> You're a hero for going 45 minutes. The only times I've let my wife go for more than 15 minutes is if she insisted and I didn't want her to think she'd "failed" (and then I still feel guilty).
> 
> Some guys are quick, some can't.
> 
> ...




Yeah he'd say the same thing....exit only. 



Thanks for the suggestions everyone! 


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Try combining manual and oral. Not wanting to get to graphic, but give a normal HJ but while sucking on the tip. If that works, you can move to more "pure" oral in the future. 

This of course assumes that BOTH of you actually want to do this. 



BlueJay12 said:


> He's never had an orgasm from oral. So first time ever. He can orgasm from manual fairly quickly. And sex too. The thing is he likes me to squeeze hard for manual and so maybe he's use to that and my mouth can't "squeeze" as hard. I was using my hand under my mouth though. I even tried using my opposite hand to caress him some.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

If it makes you feel any better, I don't orgasm from oral often. 

It has been many many years. Keep practicing but after 5 or ten minutes

I would move onto something else. No need in jaw cramps.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

I have never pop’ed that way and it does not bother me or my wife. I’ve been with 4 gals over the years and it was the same with each. It’s just me.

talk to him; it could be all in his head(the big one on his neck).


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## BlueJay12 (Jul 21, 2016)

uhtred said:


> Try combining manual and oral. Not wanting to get to graphic, but give a normal HJ but while sucking on the tip. If that works, you can move to more "pure" oral in the future.
> 
> 
> 
> This of course assumes that BOTH of you actually want to do this.




I will try that. He says oral feels so much better than manual I guess that is why it bothers me he can't finish. Of course maybe he is hung up because it will be the first time. 


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

BlueJay12 said:


> He's never had an orgasm from oral. So first time ever. He can orgasm from manual fairly quickly. And sex too. The thing is he likes me to squeeze hard for manual and so maybe he's use to that and my mouth can't "squeeze" as hard. I was using my hand under my mouth though. I even tried using my opposite hand to caress him some.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Try harder suction and pursing/tightening your lips so that it more closely simulates the pressure from HJ's.

Other than that, I'd really start with getting him close via PIV or a HJ and then finishing orally. Gradually, once he's gotten used to oral orgasm, use more oral and less piv/HJ.

This will probably take a lot of trial and error. That's ok. Keep it hot, enjoyable, and fun. If it's just not gonna happen this session, that's ok. Move on to other things and revisit later.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

BlueJay12 said:


> Hey guys I was hoping to get some input. Me and my husband are in our early 30s and our sex life has actually been fantastic here lately. We just haven't done oral much. He has been very adamant about doing oral for me (and gotten quite good) so I wanted to do the same for him and let him finish orally for the first time instead of just being for a few minutes. I admit I was a little nervous anyway things were going awesome and the signs were there that he was enjoying it. After 45 minutes or so I had to give up I couldn't go any longer. I mean my neck and jaw were spent. I told him I'd try again no worries. And now deep down I am feeling pretty crappy with myself because he's always wanted this. I was doing everything he said felt great except letting him push my head. Maybe it was just the technique but do guys sometimes have a hard time completing with BJs? I've been having a higher drive and I just want to rock his world.


My husband has a WAY harder time with BJs. He does. Make sure he is not standing. Make sure he is on his back. Other than that, no clue.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

BlueJay12 said:


> Maybe it was just the technique but do guys sometimes have a hard time completing with BJs?


For a guy, it is very easy to get accustomed to certain forms of stimulation (hand, or vaginal) and then have trouble climaxing with a different set of sensations. Odds are these things could have been causing him trouble:

• Your teeth pinching him occasionally
• Your tongue overstimulating his glans (tickles instead of feeling good)
• Him becoming aware you are uncomfortable
• Previous relationships where ejaculating inside a girls mouth was incredibly awkward (as in it made her gag or throw up) 

Other than that, make it a point to ask him to communicate when something feels really good and use that feedback to develop your skills. 

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Get in a comfortable position.
For example, have him sit on a chair or sofa and you sitting comfortably so your neck won't hurt.
Use your voice too. Talk to him and look at him showing that you are enjoying it just as much as he is.(even if you're not really getting off on it yourself)
If I am having a difficult time, my wife saying nasty things to me always gets me over the top


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

It's a mental thing for him. I'd guess he's feeling selfish and also doesn't know how you will react when he releases in your mouth. Reassure him that he needs to relax and this is just for him.

Did you talk to him? When my girl is going down, she'll usually be like "I love your big d!ck, can't wait until you cum in my mouth, etc etc" while looking at me. That's a huge turn on.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Wow! I can certainly appreciate your devotion, OP! If it takes more than about 10 to 15 minutes move on to something else. It can feel good for him, but it likely won't put him over the edge if it takes that long. You've gotten some good advice from the other posters about technique, and you were given some reasons as to why it is difficult for him to O from oral. It sounds more psychological on his part than your technique. If you can bring him to the edge via PIV or a HJ, you should be able to put him over the edge with oral. If he starts to lose that edge, bring him close to the finish line with a HJ again while applying suction on the head. Once he has O'ed that way, chances are it won't nearly as tough to get him there a second time, and it will get easier for him the more times it happens.

I wish my wife would do that for me. She does give me oral on occasion, but it is brief to say the least. She has a really bad gag reflex now. She has given me oral to completion once very early in our relationship. It was an awesome experience for me, but a bad experience for her. Even after that experience she would give oral regularly the first year or so of our marriage as a part of foreplay, then no oral at all for about 17 years. She's trying to work past it now, but hasn't gotten there yet. On the other hand, I do oral regularly on her. I thoroughly enjoy oral on her, and so does she. Opposite experiences and comfort levels I suppose.

Your husband is lucky to have somebody that actually enjoys doing oral on him. I hope you thoroughly enjoy it once it's done, and it becomes a regular part of your sex play.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

BlueJay12 said:


> I will try that. He says oral feels so much better than manual I guess that is why it bothers me he can't finish. Of course maybe he is hung up because it will be the first time.


First of all wow. You are a super hero for going 45 minutes. You must deeply love him to want to make him happy to this extent. Good for you! But if it doesn't happen after 15 you should stop and promise to get him there next time. 

However, I can totally see it being a mental block. He could be afraid that if he cums in your mouth, you won't like it and will avoid oral altogether. That may happen (you not loving it), but if you really want him to relax enough to let it happen, I think you have to assure him that you want it. _REALLY WANT IT_ And do it in a sexy/dirty talking sort of way. I could suggest a few phrases that would work for me, but it feels wrong to say them, even on this forum. Also, you could try some role playing to work on the mental block. Maybe surprise him with a french maid outfit (there are cheap ones online) when he is still fully dressed and be aggressive with what you are after. 

Has he ever cum during oral in a previous relationship?


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

GuyInColorado said:


> ... "I love your big d!ck, can't wait until you cum in my mouth, etc etc" while looking at me. That's a huge turn on.


I completely agree with this. Yes, look at him as you talk to him. He wants to see you are excited too. Try to channel that feeling through your eyes.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

My W will leave no stone(s) unturned when giving me a BJ. Along with stimulation using the mouth she will also rub the shaft(jack it off) in between the BJ. Gives her mouth a break. She also works the nutty buddies. Licking and sucking. My entire member is rubbed around her face. 60 seconds I'm done. HAHA! Well, not that quickly but about 5 minutes. 

Ok...going to go see what my W is up too. ...:grin2:


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

GuyInColorado said:


> Did you talk to him? When my girl is going down, she'll usually be like "I love your big d!ck, can't wait until you cum in my mouth, etc etc" while looking at me. That's a huge turn on.


Yep! Works for me as well.


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## BlueJay12 (Jul 21, 2016)

wantshelp said:


> First of all wow. You are a super hero for going 45 minutes. You must deeply love him to want to make him happy to this extent. Good for you! But if it doesn't happen after 15 you should stop and promise to get him there next time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Ahhh thank you so much. He was a virgin when we got married (nothing sexual besides kissing before me as well) and I was very very inexperienced. We've been pretty basic until now. We are best friends and sex has always been just sex. Nothing out of this world really. Not a lot of foreplay and whatnot. I think my hormones have shifted or something because I've been wanting to change things up. Anyway I've never done oral to completion and he's never received it before me. I've always wanted to because he wanted it so bad but I was scared I'd throw up. It's not that I didn't want to I was worried about offending him if it goes bad. 

I have gave him oral a lot over the years but I just would like him to have this experience he's wanted so bad. I wouldn't say I love it really but I love him to pieces and it makes me happy to let him relax while I take care of him. 

He has been very accommodating during my more horny phase for lack of better description. He has done a lot of research lately on oral, gspot, etc. I didn't know what I liked so we've just been working together to figure this out and how to get me to orgasm. I've never orgasmed until recently. I've finally learned how to completely let go and just experience it. 

He's so amazing that he was insisting on taking care of me and I had to get somewhat dominate and let him know I wanted to do something just for him. I've been sending him naughty texts so here's to hoping the next round goes better. 


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

GuyInColorado said:


> It's a mental thing for him. I'd guess he's feeling selfish and also doesn't know how you will react when he releases in your mouth.


Yup, this is typical of how most of my first dates end.


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

For what it is worth. My xwife use to give me a BJ very rarely. As part of the "agreement" I knew that for me to ever go in her mouth not only would it be over immediately, but probably never again. Now, with my girlfriend, who loves all there is about Oral Sex, I find myself unable to just "let go". He technique is great, she is very enthusiastic, but it generally will not happen. So I doubt if his inability to O has anything to do with you.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Everyone is different. Only your husband can tell you what he was feeling.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

BlueJay12 said:


> Unfortunately it was 45 minutes. I'd stop for a second here and there to readjust. But, yeah, it was a little brutal. Maybe after I was getting tired that was the problem.
> 
> We don't use vibrators and I'm pretty something up his ass won't go over well ha ha!
> 
> ...


I would not assume it is you. There are some positions my H never finishes in. He could have also been feeling very self conscious about coming in your mouth and that made him inhibited.

45 minutes? You both are troopers. How long does he last during PIV sex? I'd go about 10 minutes and switch to something else. Let him know you'd love for him to finish in your mouth but don't put pressure on him.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

GuyInColorado said:


> can't wait until you cum in my mouth, etc etc" while looking at me. That's a huge turn on.


Women are allowed to say that to you? :| Huh. Guess my wife didnt get the memo.

Seriously that would be BEYOND hot. *sigh*


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## BlueJay12 (Jul 21, 2016)

Well round two went much better and a little faster. I played around with the suction and was able to get him over the edge. He finally was telling me please don't stop and it took extreme willpower to not because my jaw was aching was so bad. 

My jaw and neck are incredibly sore today from two nights of it but what he doesn't know won't hurt. I think now that the first time is over next time will be better. After I recover of course haha. 

I appreciate everyone's suggestions!


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Awesome, BlueJay12! I knew you could do it.

It is awesome to see a wife that is truly into their husband enough to do this for him. There's absolutely nothing like seeing the person you love in complete ecstasy.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I'm sure he did.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

That is awesome, but please don't hide discomfort from him, if he eventually finds out he will feel terrible. 

Its fine to say that your jaw is sore today but that it was worth it. I will sometimes tell my wife that my tongue is really stiff - and it reminds me of what we did last night.:grin2:

Find ways to do it that are not uncomfortable for you or you will start to dislike it. Early on just get him really close with hands, then go for oral - with hands helping. It will get easier once he relaxes and once you learn what works best for him.




BlueJay12 said:


> Well round two went much better and a little faster. I played around with the suction and was able to get him over the edge. He finally was telling me please don't stop and it took extreme willpower to not because my jaw was aching was so bad.
> 
> My jaw and neck are incredibly sore today from two nights of it but what he doesn't know won't hurt. I think now that the first time is over next time will be better. After I recover of course haha.
> 
> ...


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

My husband lasts a long time, oral, PIV, anal or hand.

He goes absolutely crazy when I give him oral, and I know it's his absolute favorite thing.

When he's lasting a really long time, I'll use my hand along with my mouth, quite a firm grip and twist my hand as I'm stroking. That seems to speed it up.

Another poster mentioned anal or prostate stimulation. I can tell you that doesn't speed it up, BUT, my husband is very vocal when he's receiving oral. However, if I add that, I'm pretty sure the neighbors know my name. And I need to be prepared, because the spoog is incredibly projectile at that point. He won't move for a half hour afterwards. Worth a try if he'll let you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Find a way to tell your husband about the discomfort in a way that does not make him uncomfortable. You are a team and he is as responsible for your comfort as you are for his. 

This is important because you want to work as a team. It may be as simple as trying different positions. 

I understand that you don't like him to push your head but could he hold your head while he moves? You can control how far in he goes by using your hands. It takes time to coordinate movements. 

Don't take the chance of developing an aversion to bj because of the discomfort. What you have with your husband is awesome so don't mess it up!


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

try being spontaneous with them, grab him and just go down right there in the kitchen. use your hands to massage the sack and shaft, don't let your mouth do all the work. 

question, does he normally take that long for other ways?


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## VizCaya (Oct 19, 2015)

Blue jay ,

From a person who never got a BJ from his wife in 18 years ,I want to say : God bless your soul , you are real venus , a gorgeous woman with a gorgeous heart .
The issue is not just superficial as ppl think ; acts like yours are true sacrifices of a normal mentally healthy person ; it is called givology , real sacrifices to see your partner enjoy life .

To tell you the truth , when I red your posts , 

I cried ;
not because I am not getting a Bj ; it is because i am getting more confident that my wife will never sacrifice for me ...

coming back to your case ;I tell you :

may the Lord bless every pain you get , every effort you do .

I pray that your husband is a good hearted man , if he is , he will make u happy .

I am jealous from him , ... in a positive way


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## jarhed (Nov 11, 2012)

WOW - you deserve a medal for 45 minutes. 

I rarely climax when my wife gives oral - but I had a couple GFs right after college that would get me there in no time at all. It was slow and long strokes, not short quick strokes that did the trick with hand and mouth. Hope that makes sense.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*It's rare that a stand-alone BJ ever does it for yours truly! Most often, it has been used as an accoutrement for the grand finale! For me, PIV is the all to end all!

As with most all things, I would think that it is just more of a matter of individual preference!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Technique is important, but the mental game is moreso, IMO - for both people.

My wife is ridiculously talented at giving BJ's (she rarely, rarely gives them on their own, like <5x in 8 or so years, but it's part of fore or after play about 75% of the time.)

Anyway, I know she's not a fan of doing it, and even when she's "into" it, that little voice in the back of my head is there, and I feel, not "bad" or guilty, but... something. A tiny bit of pressure to finish, or not have it go so long. Then it ends up taking too long, 9 times out of 10.

My ex wife could not give proper BJ's because of a jaw issue that arose about a 3rd of the way into our relationship (14 years or so). Prior to that, when she could, I would finish in good time. It was also fairly rare, maybe once a month, but she never indicated she didn't like it, so I didn't feel that slight tinge of guilt. She was not nearly as talented at it as my now-wife, and she also expressly told me to tell her when I was close, and she'd finish me manually - but that never impacted my enjoyment for whatever reason. Usually it wouldn't take more than a few minutes.

After the jaw issue surfaced, she would still use her lips and tongue down there and ironically, it probably took me less time than before. Why? Because it showed me she wanted to do it, which is a turn-on. She could no longer do one thing, so she replaced it as best she could, of her own accord. That was pretty awesome, TBH.

So it's mental for me. My wife DOES do it, but she made the mistake of telling me she doesn't like it. She will still do it, on her own, without me asking or guiding her, or hinting at it, but it's never been the same. The year or so before that, when I didn't know she disliked it, it took me a normal amount of time to finish, a few minutes.

On the flip side, I once had a woman back in the day who absolutely, positively wanted to and was right into it, but she was pretty bad at it, technique-wise. She did everything else right - made noises, talked to me, complimented me, looked at my face - but (and I feel bad saying this) had no idea what she was doing otherwise. I got there eventually, but still... And I wasn't with her long enough to bring the topic up.

So there's a LOT of the mental aspect to it, but there's definitely still the question of technique. I guess, (and this goes for both women AND men), make sure you appear eager to be doing it AND develop a good technique. But remember, not everybody will like the same things - so listen to your partner, and also encourage them to talk to you about what they like and don't like. It took my wife almost 4 years to talk to me about my oral technique on her, despite it "working" for her. Now that she's expressed a few things to me - which I was not hurt about! - it works BETTER for her. Duh!


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Hi OP! I didn't read everyones input, but I have a difficult time climaxing when receiving oral. As soon as PIV starts I'm good for 3-5 minutes. I don't understand it myself If he says you're doing a good job then just go with it. Keep trying it will happen.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DrSher (Jul 17, 2016)

BlueJay12 said:


> Hey guys I was hoping to get some input. Me and my husband are in our early 30s and our sex life has actually been fantastic here lately. We just haven't done oral much. He has been very adamant about doing oral for me (and gotten quite good) so I wanted to do the same for him and let him finish orally for the first time instead of just being for a few minutes. I admit I was a little nervous anyway things were going awesome and the signs were there that he was enjoying it. After 45 minutes or so I had to give up I couldn't go any longer. I mean my neck and jaw were spent. I told him I'd try again no worries. And now deep down I am feeling pretty crappy with myself because he's always wanted this. I was doing everything he said felt great except letting him push my head. Maybe it was just the technique but do guys sometimes have a hard time completing with BJs? I've been having a higher drive and I just want to rock his world.


 Have you tried a few ice chips in your mouth while you blow him.

My wife does that and it will really change things up, especially if he doesn't know what awaits.

Sounds like you DO rock his world though. Keep up the good work and your husband will never forget. If women knew how easy it is to keep their man by giving out good head, male cheating would be cut by 90%


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## Whirlpool (Jul 25, 2016)

Don't think I'd want to stick it in a mouthful of ice cubes. 

Something about a warm wet mouth is rather comforting.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

The best BJs for him are when I take control of the session, he is making the moves for PIV and I flip it and hold him down. I enjoy NSA BJs but he rarely lets me get away with that.

45 mins is way too long, glad you are practicing, it will make you perfect


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## DrSher (Jul 17, 2016)

Whirlpool said:


> Don't think I'd want to stick it in a mouthful of ice cubes.
> 
> Something about a warm wet mouth is rather comforting.



Hot wet mouth...,

Then ice chips....

Then hot wet...

Then ice chips....

And it is an awesome way to extend your ride.

And sex was never the same again...


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> Find a way to tell your husband about the discomfort in a way that does not make him uncomfortable. You are a team and he is as responsible for your comfort as you are for his.


I really like your post Catherine, so I hope you don't mind me chiming in. 



Catherine602 said:


> This is important because you want to work as a team. It may be as simple as trying different positions.
> 
> I understand that you don't like him to push your head but could he hold your head while he moves? You can control how far in he goes by using your hands. It takes time to coordinate movements.


As far as position, and without him pushing your head, if you're okay with it he can have 'control' if you're laying across the bed with your head tilted back and him standing over you. It also provides him with a full visual of your sexiness and if he wants, bring you to joy through touch... This should be comfortable for you. As Catherine has said, to be a team and with mutual consideration given. 

What I've learned with my husband is to balance his timing with slight unpredictability. That's what takes him over the edge.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Thank you for commenting on my post HB!

I really like my husband to move better than me moving. I enjoy being dominated most of the time so that may be the reason. You are right about the coordination part. 

We had some good laughs when we had colossal goof ups early on. The most important thing for me is to control the penetration. We also change up if he would rather not move. 

OP thought of something else. Try to keep the whole oral sex adjustment period light and playful. I have a feeling you are so determined that you have become hard on yourself. 

I think it is wonderful that you are so giving, thats how everyone should treat the person that loves them and makes them happy. The 45 mins and pain the next day is concerning in that you may be giving too much and you are likely to run out of steam. 

That would be so sad since you have such a wonderful desire to make him happy. As other posters pointed out, the length of time and hurting yourself is more sacrificial than loving. That won't be sustained I think. 

A better strategy may be to decide on a reasonable amount of time beforehand and move on if it does not happen. Each time you give, work on technique until it is good for both of you.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

DrSher said:


> Hot wet mouth...,
> 
> Then ice chips....
> 
> ...


Is this a fantasy or something you actually do? 

I can't imagine that stabbing the crown jewels with pointy ice chips would be a pleasant experience. It would certainly shorten the act from 45 mins to a 45 seconds but for the wrong reasons. 

The stoping and staring would be maddening for him and me, I like playing him to a crescendo and enjoying the reward. I'm not into sadism so that may be the issue.


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## Looking2Change (Jul 24, 2016)

Some guys can't finish from oral. If he's in his 30's and has never finished from oral it may never happen. Nothing wrong with your technique. 5 minutes and you should be done. 45 minutes and you deserve a trophy you're awesome.


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## analyst216 (Jul 27, 2016)

It's in his mind. Eventually he'll relax enough to really enjoy it for what it is and will be satisfied.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Good job keep up the good work. I think it will be quicker for him over time.


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