# Is it worth forgiving and forgetting?



## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

I have been with this girl for 3 years now. She is the only one i have loved and really the only girl i have dated. Heres my question am i scared of her being with somebody else? Being single? Being alone? Trying to find another girlfriend? 
Why do i still want her? Why cant i acknowledged shes not good for me?


So this girl was my everything. We hung out everyday (before i had plenty of friends hung out with her everyday lost them all) and loved it. I went away to college for a year and she and i werent always together but i found out today she had a relatioship with another guy. they saw each other a lot... i dont know how much but they did. 75% of the nights i talked to her on the phone and we said i loved her and she said she did too and missed me. I told her i trusted her to hang out with friends... I came back and found out she had a sex once with one of her "good friends" and kinda like in my mind dated this other guy. All while we were still talking and saying i love you. She never told me once till i found out... I never even had an idea. Those are the two that ive found out about probly many more... Now about me... I had 3 flings during the school year. Im not innocent either but i just cant get over it i feel like. Its going to hurt like hell to move on and i feel that really we were perfect together. And when i hung out with her for lunch (once) i feel in love again. She told me she still loves me and cried when i left. Do i forgive her and let her be mine again? or am i scared to move on?

BTW im almost 20...


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Since you both messed around when you were apart, it looks to me that neither of you are committed.
Move on or keep this casual fling deal going, but until you are both willing to commit 100%, this will continue.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Just enjoy life right now. Enjoy the fact that you had 3 good years but now life is moving on. Don't let this mess up your studies...and don't let this booshet really get to you. It's not a reflection of you that she slept with someone else. She just told you who she really is-- and she isn't the type of person you want. Is she?


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## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

Let me add somethin else... When i came home and i found out about her guy she had sex with i told her about my hookups. I came clean. I had asked her to come clean too. She said that was it. And for sure, it wasnt it, she had dated (in my opinion) somebody else. I had asked her to be honest, and she wasnt. And i know there is more. I just dont feel that its fair to me. She lied to me for months and is still lying.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Then break up with her. I mean, you both cheated. So what is the problem here? I think your ego is at play and you are upset that she did this to you. Fine, however, remove your ego and you'll see that she's not committed, you're not committed. It doesn't make you bad people, it just makes you not ready. You don't trust her. Even if she's telling the truth, you still have "your opinion" about it. Go enjoy life.


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## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

You said i have an ego problem... I will admit i probably do. But i also feel like she lied to me the whole time she was seein this OM. Dont get me wrong i would like to work things out, but i think im just scared to leave. Be single or something. How do i know if its my ego that is the problem here? And if i do, how do i stop it?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

So she lied. You know she lied. Why would you want her back? To prove you can get her back? You know you'd turn around and dump her. lol. How do you stop your ego? You just let it go. Be single and enjoy life. This is one girl in a lifetime of girls. I take it you are young, so...learn from this relationship, stop having hookups when in a relationship and stop getting angry at women for cheating on you when you've cheated on them. Treat this like a learning experience and grow from it. In the meantime, just go have fun. You're only young once.


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