# Isn't "I need space" another way to say...



## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

" I don't like you or want to be around you anymore"

I have never had this said to me but reading some of the posts here and I thought that is what they are really saying. I know some here will say maybe they want to clear their head, calm down and make a rational decision, but when you are finished with something you move away from it and go to the next activity.

When a person wants to leave or get away(space) that usually means they are finished with that activity.

I go to a ballgame when I am tired or the outcome isn't going to change I leave(if the game stinks I leave earlier) I am finished and don't want to be there anymore.

I eat at a restaurant when the meal is over or I am full I leave (after paying haha just like divorce) basically I am finished with that activity.

I guess my reason for this post is most of the stories of people needing space end up with they have already made their decision(many times the A is going full blast) and this is a soft way to say goodbye without a direct confrontation.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

My wife used "I need space" three times in our marriage and each time there was another guy, either online or in person.

In my case it seemed like my wife was saying I don't want a divorce but I don't want you checking on me.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

"I need space" = "I need another guy to fill my space"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

It could be situational. If a betrayed spouse wants some space it could be to sort though the mess of emotions and pain. 

In other cases it is likely meant so the person who wants space can go pursue another option while keeping plan b in place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I need space, but it's not because I want another man. I just want to be away from the pain and stress my H causes. Just sayin'.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

a healthy marriage needs to allow personal "alone time" for each member. That space can be to hit the gym, zumba, hunting, shooting at the range, sewing circle, who knows what. But a sure recipe for marital disaster is one member clinging every minute to the other.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Depends on the context. If its said meaning a couple or three hours it means she wants to be alone a couple or three hours. If its said in the context indicating more than a few hours it means she's either ditched or seriously considering ditching your azz (may include test driving another man. ); In which case, its womanese for, "you've become very irritating, and undesirable and the "space" needs to be at least a million miles"


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

*How to respond to "I need space"* 


I cant be here right now I need space to be on my own and find my self 



Oh okay well that's convenient really because your replacement will be here soon and they don't like dealing with older competition let me know when you find yourself so I can mail you your belongings.




This message paid for by the xakulax no bull$hit Consortium


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## Twistedheart (May 17, 2010)

It means they want their fantasy life (boyfriend/girlfriend) and marriage at the same time incase the new friend doesn't work out. It's all part of their me-first, cake-eating personality. Ain't it fun?


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

My wife "needed space" 9 months ago. I snooped aggressively for an affair but found nothing. through MC and just discussions, I get the impression she was trying to figure out what to do. 

I sincerely think my wife was considering divorce or separation. I don't think she had a better suitor lined up, but I do think she had conversations with another guy (much lower attraction level, but likes her so gave her his ears). 

Either way, space is assessing options. I think there is a wide spectrum of options..ranging from another person to just the option of being single. 

One thought I've had is what if, during this time where she felt distressed with our relationship, she was friends with or met another more attractive suitor for her. AND OR what if she was working full time and had her own funds. Would she have walked and really took space?


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

love=pain,

I think sometimes it can mean exactly that....but in other situations with different dynamics/people, it could mean something along the lines of:

"You're cramping my fun, GTF outta of my way."

or (more rarely)

"Seeing you everyday is eating me alive with guilt...I can't take this pain so I need to go."


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

With my current wife it means "back off I'm about to say something I'll regret, give me a few hours or until tomorrow to cool off."

And it doesn't mean leave the house or anything.

With my ex wife, it meant "leave the house indefinitely because you're confusing me with your logic and getting in the way of screwing my boyfriend."

So take that for what it's worth.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

"I need space" 

= "I'm an immature and incredibly selfish person, and I want to do whatever I want, with no responsibility, while being supported by you."


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## TryingToRecover (Dec 19, 2012)

I have always associated the statement "I need space" in a dating relationship where one really wants to break up but is trying to let the other down easy. Perhaps in a marriage, someone saying this really just wants out and/or is already actively cheating.

I can see a BS needing space to make decisions post dday, without the cheating factor (on their side) being involved.


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

..."Houston we have a problem."


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

As you can see, it means something unique to each and every person posting here. Although most are themed on how the term was used when the spouse cheated, as was the case with mine also. 

I dont think its usually a good phrase to hear, but it has very different meanings, some totally harmless.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I got that line too, and found out later she was cheating. Later, when I recovered from my shock after D-Day, I told her "You want space? Then GTFO. I'll pay for her ticket to be with the OM, just GTFO!" 

Yeah, she changed her tune quickly. I was mad for a long, long time, that it took me 8 months before I decided she earned her chance at R.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

"I need space" = "You are now plan B"


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

I've said it both to cool off as well as to dump someone... It's all about context.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

*Re: Re: Isn't "I need space" another way to say...*



Pepper123 said:


> I've said it both to cool off as well as to dump someone... It's all about context.


As it relates to cheating... I would think it means you need space to think which person you want to choose.


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## TimeHeals (Sep 26, 2011)

verpin zal said:


> ..."Houston we have a problem."


LOL.

Space, the Cheating Frontier
These are the voyages of the of I IS FULL OF IT.
The Mission: To boldly go where no faithful spouse has gone before. To reach out and explore strange new sex organs.


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## cuchulain36 (Jul 8, 2014)

Yes "I need space" means "I want to bang Bob from accounting, but because I said I need space, it means I'm not cheating on you".


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## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

I agree with the post -
"I need space" = Plan B.
Or my personal favourite....
"I am re-evaluating my feelings" which trouble because you NEVER get "re-evaluated" up always down. Kinda like a re-grade for an exam.


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