# Question about alimony



## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

Here is the backstory for anyone interested. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...d-advice-before-divorcing-4.html#post17123457

We both have our own attorneys, which is stupid looking at it now because we have no children, no savings, only a house with $20k in equity. 

So these lawyers (which I ****in' hate like only a combat veteran could) Are purposefully dragging things out. Acting all chum chum and aloof about things and colluding with each other to bring us to additional alimony hearings and demanding additional retainers to attend them. I told my wife that we should fire them while the damage is small, it's going to double by the time they schedule the master hearing! Told her, lets fire them and I'll pay for the arbitrator to handle the rest. The ex is a loud mouth drunk with a huge ego and just talks non-stop then hangs up the phone when I try to explain. God am I pissed

The question:

-Married 6 years. 

ME: -No college degree -First 5 years I grossed $50k. -In 2016 made $130k as a realtor. - No salary, all commission since I became a realtor. -36 years old. -no kids. -healthy
-18 years military -Paid $40k in GI Bill for my wife's masters degree -Pay all housing and living expenses, always have. 

HER: - 33 years old -Grossed an average of $5k over the last 5 years. -I supported her while she attended the graduate program I paid for for 3 of those years. -no kids -healthy (looking) 4.0 GPA MS degree in Instructional Leadership, not using. -Earns $10 per hr working 15 hours a week.


Her attorney told her that I could be made to pay $1,500 a month for 2 years. This seems absolutely insane and I'll go to jail before I pay it. I bought the house myself before marriage and commingled it when we refinanced, HUGE MISTAKE. 

No kids, only a house as an asset. She has a masters degree and is 33 years old, does it sound right that I could pay this drunken women $1,500 a month in alimony!!!? I'm in PA. A loud mouthed drunken ***** that smokes a pack a day with a master degree that I paid for, F#ck if I'm going to pay her $1,500 a month just so she can be a layabout piece of **** for two years. If I seem angry, it's much more than that. I worked my ass off for 6 years waiting for her to 'snap out of it', equipped her with every tool she needed to fend for herself.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I just did some searching on Google on the topic. That might be accurate.

You might want to see another lawyer to get a second opinion. It would seem to me that you should be able to impute a certain amount of income to your wife since she really has no excuse to not be working right now.

I get what you are saying about the attorneys. They seem to work to increase their own income and not help their clients all that much.


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## Hope Shimmers (Jul 10, 2015)

53791263 said:


> I'll go to jail before I pay it.


You may want to prepare yourself for jail then. 

I hear you about how unfair it is. And depending on the state/judge/situation, maybe they will take into account somewhat the fact that she has a master's degree. But typically the way alimony works is that you are supposed to provide her with the same standard of living that she had before the divorce, the assumption being that you had a reason or there was an agreement for her to be only working 15 hours a week for minimum wage. 

My recommendation would be to learn a lesson from it... sorry.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

53791263 said:


> Here is the backstory for anyone interested.
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...d-advice-before-divorcing-4.html#post17123457
> 
> ...


My ex pays almost 4k in alimony. Be grateful.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

I responded on your other thread, and answered your questions. 

To sum it up here

1- if you pay $1500 for only 2 years you should consider yourself lucky- that number is a typical award for your state given the length of the marriage and the income disparity
2- she has no reason to negotiate, because given the income disparity you'll probably be ordered to pay most or all of her legal fees


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

Thanks for the justification. I feel better about myself now.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Of course it's not right.

Unfortunately, the law -- especially, it would seem, civil law -- often has little to do w/ justice.

Sorry man.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Question to all - he's been a real estate agent. What if he drags out the divorce and dials back his income in the mean time? Or would he just be hurting himself in the long run?

I'm self employed and business is up and down, totally different from year to year. It would be totally effed to get stuck with an alimony bill based on a good year...

To @53791263, You are right this is enraging. If it happens though, just remember, at least you're getting this drunk loud mouth out of your life. A couple years and it's over. What about your military retirement though, will she get a chunk of that?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

WorkingWife said:


> Question to all - he's been a real estate agent. What if he drags out the divorce and dials back his income in the mean time? Or would he just be hurting himself in the long run?
> 
> I'm self employed and business is up and down, totally different from year to year. It would be totally effed to get stuck with an alimony bill based on a good year...


This is a real problem and I wonder how this has been addressed by his attorney. One good year and he has to pay alimony based on just one good year? It would seem that there is a way to average it out or re-evaluate based on actual income... like making it based on a percentage of actual income instead of a fixed dollar amount.




WorkingWife said:


> To @53791263, You are right this is enraging. If it happens though, just remember, at least you're getting this drunk loud mouth out of your life. A couple years and it's over. What about your military retirement though, will she get a chunk of that?


He's 36. I doubt he was in long enough to get a military retirement.


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

She can't get the retirement, when I do retire in two more years. Have to be married for 10 years for that to happen.


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

prunus said:


> My ex pays almost 4k in alimony. Be grateful.


That's seems like a huge amount of alimony


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Your situation is another one of my reasons why divorce rules favor women and for men not to get married. There is alot in common to both of our situations, both wanted to marry with all good intentions only to have her change, become undesirable, have us do whatever we could to improve their situation ...only to get screwed in the end. I hear what you're saying I know the divorce settlement my wife would get from me wouldn't be fair either so I decided to stay. As guys we only have two options: give practically everything to her, though she definitely doesn't deserve it, or stay.


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

jb02157 said:


> As guys we only have two options: give practically everything to her, though she definitely doesn't deserve it, or stay.



We can just do our best to destroy the woman emotionally, spiritually, morally, financially, and on social media. It's giving me solace at least. She can have some money for a little bit, I'll strip away her soul in return.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

MovingForward said:


> That's seems like a huge amount of alimony


My boss had to pay around this much for 5 years. On top of that, $2k/m for CS. His ex was engaged to some rich guy but didn't get married until after the alimony expired. But when you make over $300k/yr, it's not the end of the world.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

I'm afraid you are in for a reality check/wake up call.

The laws in your state are very clear, and they were written long before you decided to sign a legal contract which bounds you to those laws.

It's not the court's fault that they have to enforce it, and guys who say "I'm angry and I'll go to jail before I pay" and are mad at the world and the system and the judge are directing their anger at the wrong place. It's no different than a guy who speeds down the highway at 85 mph, gets pulled over and gets fined $500 and sees his car insurance premiums hiked $2k for the next 3 years. It's our own fault, no one else's. In this case you allowed your wife to earn relatively little income for all of the marriage, and the courts look at "the status quo" and make their rulings largely on that basis. She hasn't worked, she needs time and money to transition back into the workforce, and your responsibility does not end when the divorce papers are stamped final. 

Sure there are some very unfair rulings that defy logic and common sense and fly in the face of established case law, but so far, in this case, it appears that 2 years worth of alimony at $1500 per month is not unreasonable. 

You made $50k per year until last year, then you made $130k. So even if you average the last 3 years together, that's $77k per year, and you'll pay her about $12,000 for each of two years (after tax deductions). Odds are you'll be making more than $50k in the following years so you're way ahead of the game.

Some states will give you an award based on the value of her degree which was obtained during the marriage, and that can be huge. I researched your state and it appears you're screwed but you might want to ask your attorney anyway.

_The question of whether an advanced degree, such as a medical license, has a value that can be distributed in a Divorce has long been settled by the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania. In the case of Hodge v. Hodge, 513 Pa. 264 (1986), the Court faced the question of whether a doctor’s license to practice medicine, which was obtained during the marriage, had a value that could be divided during the equitable distribution of assets in a divorce case. The Court in Hodge held that an advanced degree, such as a medical license was not property and was, therefore, not divisible as an asset in equitable distribution. _

Truth be told if you're that bent out of shape over alimony payments that will total about $24,000 after tax deductions, you're really going to lose it when the legal fees start mounting up, which can easily triple that number. 

If I was you I'd happily agree to the 2 years worth of requested alimony otherwise a few years you'll be kicking yourself for not settling when you had the opportunity.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

MovingForward said:


> That's seems like a huge amount of alimony


He makes good money.


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

browser said:


> In this case you allowed your wife to earn relatively little income for all of the marriage.


It doesn't matter but you are incorrect here. I was up her ass like a drill sergeant from hell about sending resumes and finding a job. She's just a worthless piece of ****. It's cool though, I'll be chipper and cordial and simply destroy all of her possessions this weekend while shes at Myrtle beach.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

53791263 said:


> We can just do our best to destroy the woman emotionally, spiritually, morally, financially, and on social media. It's giving me solace at least. She can have some money for a little bit, I'll strip away her soul in return.


Wow, that's a little extreme, even for me. Some women deliberately go after their ex in court just to show that he was this bad guy and he needs to be punished never mind all that she did in the marriage that was equally if not more wrong than their ex. If I ever do get my chance at divorce, I do plan to take my shots at her.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> I just did some searching on Google on the topic. That might be accurate.
> 
> You might want to see another lawyer to get a second opinion. It would seem to me that you should be able to impute a certain amount of income to your wife since she really has no excuse to not be working right now.
> 
> I get what you are saying about the attorneys. They seem to work to increase their own income and not help their clients all that much.


I agree with this. I didn't work our entire marriage (mind games, mental abuse, control) and I do not have a degree. However, they still calculated the alimony using what I could make working full time at minimum wage (since that's likely all I'd make starting out). So, even when I get a full time job, the alimony can't be modified until I'm able to make more than that.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

53791263 said:


> It doesn't matter but you are incorrect here. I was up her ass like a drill sergeant from hell about sending resumes and finding a job. She's just a worthless piece of ****. It's cool though, I'll be chipper and cordial and simply destroy all of her possessions this weekend while shes at Myrtle beach.


You knew, or should have known, the marriage laws when you married her. 

You chose to marry a woman who could not earn what you earn. You apparently agreed that she did not have to bring in an income and that she went to school to get a degree.

So now she gets what is basically rehabilitative alimony to give her a chance to get a job and move on. The court decision would have been the same if the genders were reversed.

I thought that she was not living in the same place you live. Are these things that are still in the home where live?

If you are living in the same home with her still, she can get you removed from the home if you destroy all of her things. At the very least she can ask the court for the replacement cost of her possessions that you destroy. And on top of that, she can get a restraining order against you. That will hurt your realestate license and work as a realtor.

If she is not living in the same home you are living in, your best bet is to rent storage, move her junk there and do not destroy or break any of it. Then give her the key. Let her get it. 

Or if she is living in a place with yard, just take it all and leave it on on her porch/yard.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

53791263 said:


> It doesn't matter but you are incorrect here. I was up her ass like a drill sergeant from hell about sending resumes and finding a job. She's just a worthless piece of ****. It's cool though, I'll be chipper and cordial and simply destroy all of her possessions this weekend while shes at Myrtle beach.


She didn't work much during the marriage and earned a fraction of what you did. Whether it's because you "allowed it" or she somehow "got away with it" even though you were "up her ass like a drill sergeant" makes no difference to the court. 

Yes I read about how you're going to destroy all her possessions and throw away the rest of her clothes, and I won't be the least bit surprised when she presents a bill to the court for many times more than what those clothes were worth and the judge orders you to pay for it. 




jb02157 said:


> If I ever do get my chance at divorce, I do plan to take my shots at her.


We all know that is never going to happen. You'll have to settle for daydreaming about it every single day for the rest of your natural life.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

53791263 said:


> We can just do our best to destroy the woman emotionally, spiritually, morally, financially, and on social media. It's giving me solace at least. She can have some money for a little bit, I'll strip away her soul in return.


Wow! Maybe this is why she drinks.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jb02157 said:


> Wow, that's a little extreme, even for me. Some women deliberately go after their ex in court just to show that he was this bad guy and he needs to be punished never mind all that she did in the marriage that was equally if not more wrong than their ex. If I ever do get my chance at divorce, I do plan to take my shots at her.


And some men play these same games in divorce.

When you play nasty games in divorce, it makes the attorneys richer.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

browser said:


> Sure there are some very unfair rulings that defy logic and common sense and fly in the face of established case law, but so far, in this case, it appears that 2 years worth of alimony at $1500 per month is not unreasonable.


Just because it's the law doesn't make it fair or correct. We make laws to be beneficial to all and when a law stops beneficial and offers one gender or group of people more than they should be offered in some situations, it ought to be changed. I honestly think this is way more then she should get or is entitled to. If you make close to nothing during the time of the marriage then that's all you should get. Whether or not she's ready to rejoin the work force after said divorce is really not the obligation of the husband. That might be the law, but it's WRONG. You should be responsible for yourself and have to be provided for by someone who's no longer in your life. If you put yourself in a situation where you end up divorced with no money to call your own, that's should be your damned fault.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

53791263 said:


> It doesn't matter but you are incorrect here. I was up her ass like a drill sergeant from hell about sending resumes and finding a job. She's just a worthless piece of ****. It's cool though, I'll be chipper and cordial and simply destroy all of her possessions this weekend while shes at Myrtle beach.


Angry much?


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

jb02157 said:


> Just because it's the law doesn't make it fair or correct. Whether or not she's ready to rejoin the work force after said divorce is really not the obligation of the husband. That might be the law, but it's WRONG.


Some laws aren't fair, but in this case, we're talking about a 6+ year marriage where he earned a lot more than she did, for whatever their own personal reasons might have been for that The court doesn't look at those reasons, they don't, they can't say "well he tried to make you work but you just didnt so we will rule accordingly". It would be too time intensive to dissect a case to that extent, it just wouldn't be practical and it would be completely up to the testimony and credibility of the two partners, one or both of which will lie, because, that's what people do.

So the courts look at the numbers, and the laws of the state, which are not unfair when they give the non working/non monied spouse a short 2 years worth of support to give her a chance to become self supporting.

Sure lots of guys would just like to pull the plug and walk away and have nothing to do with their exwife after the divorce is final, but when they've been supporting their wives for years, that's just not reasonable or the least bit fair even if we don't like it.



jb02157 said:


> You should be responsible for yourself and have to be provided for by someone who's no longer in your life. If you put yourself in a situation where you end up divorced with no money to call your own, that's should be your damned fault.


They are BOTH responsible for the situation, not just her. She refused to work as much as she might have been able to, and he allowed it to perpetuate for the entire marriage. That's on him, not the courts or the legislatures who make such laws.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

browser said:


> We all know that is never going to happen. You'll have to settle for daydreaming about it every single day for the rest of your natural life.


Let's not say never. If my situation changes then that could change the equation a little. You never know what could end up in your path one day.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

browser said:


> Sure lots of guys would just like to pull the plug and walk away and have nothing to do with their exwife after the divorce is final, but when they've been supporting their wives for years, that's just not reasonable or the least bit fair even if we don't like it.


What's the matter for being responsible for yourself? Just because one person has been supporting you for a long time and you decide to be an ******* to that person and they decide to thrown you out in the street, that doesn't make them responsible for your actions and for them to have to continue to support you even after you have nothing to do with each other anymore. I'm sorry I just don't understand how that's even logical. If you're an ******* to someone who's your sole support you deserve to be responsible for your actions. If the person providing support wants to discontinue supporting you, they should have that right.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jb02157 said:


> What's the matter for being responsible for yourself? Just because one person has been supporting you for a long time and you decide to be an ******* to that person and they decide to thrown you out in the street, that doesn't make them responsible for your actions and for them to have to continue to support you even after you have nothing to do with each other anymore. I'm sorry I just don't understand how that's even logical. If you're an ******* to someone who's your sole support you deserve to be responsible for your actions. If the person providing support wants to discontinue supporting you, they should have that right.


The courts are not going to try to figure out who was the bad guy/gal in a marriage. Why? Because they know that most likely both parties contributed to the failure of the marriage. And they also know that both parties contribute to building the assets of a marriage, even the one who did not work. Usually the one who did not work was home taking care of kids. They could have been working and built their own career. But instead they put their energies towards to the family.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> The courts are not going to try to figure out who was the bad guy/gal in a marriage. Why? Because they know that most likely both parties contributed to the failure of the marriage. And they also know that both parties contribute to building the assets of a marriage, even the one who did not work. Usually the one who did not work was home taking care of kids. They could have been working and built their own career. But instead they put their energies towards to the family.


I understand you and the courts say this is fair but it really isn't. Having laws like this make it so that a penniless woman can get into a relationship with a man where she agrees to take care of the kids and deliberately becomes an ******* to him causing a divorce where she now has the right to claim half of all his possessions. That just seems like theft to me, yet our court system makes it perfectly legal.


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Usually the one who did not work was home taking care of kids. They could have been working and built their own career. But instead they put their energies towards to the family.


Usually, but not in this case. She took three of those 6 years and did a masters degree that I paid for with GI Bill benefits that were earned on a deployment 3 years before I met the woman. The last two years I spent yelling about getting a job till I told her to go pound sand on Nov 5th.

I'd have probably not even filed if it wasn't for the addition of the constant man shaming that she loved. 'Why don't you be a man and ....'. Ok, lets see you hustle you ass off to pay rent for once in your life, here's you divorce papers.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

You're letting the anger get the best of you. Go to the gym and take it out on a punching bag. The courts will not look favorably on actions like destroying personal items. It will be held against you. Be smart about this. 

You need your attorney. If you don't like him/her, then go get another one. But don't trash him/her because you need him/her on your side as much as possible.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

53791263 said:


> Usually, but not in this case. She took three of those 6 years and did a masters degree that I paid for with GI Bill benefits that were earned on a deployment 3 years before I met the woman. The last two years I spent yelling about getting a job till I told her to go pound sand on Nov 5th.
> 
> I'd have probably not even filed if it wasn't for the addition of the constant man shaming that she loved. 'Why don't you be a man and ....'. Ok, lets see you hustle you ass off to pay rent for once in your life, here's you divorce papers.


Your mistake was 1- marrying a woman who was in school and not earning nearly what you were and 2- allowing it to perpetuate as long as you did.

You should have divorced her 2 years ago rather than pointlessly "yelling at her" which accomplished nothing. 

You screwed up. Own it. Be angry at the guy in the mirror, then forgive yourself and move on with your life. Be glad you aren't doing this after having 2 or 3 kids.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

jb02157 said:


> I understand you and the courts say this is fair but it really isn't. Having laws like this make it so that a penniless woman can get into a relationship with a man where she agrees to take care of the kids and deliberately becomes an ******* to him causing a divorce where she now has the right to claim half of all his possessions. That just seems like theft to me, yet our court system makes it perfectly legal.


It's more an issue of being practical. The courts don't have the resources to delve so deeply into each divorce case. They can't even adequately research the cases as it is. It's up to the people getting married to know what they're getting into and what might happen if things go south, which they do, at least 50% of the time. 

If a guy marries a penniless woman, and decides to have children with her, and they mutually agree that she will raise them which gives him the time to earn a living, then she is reasonably entitled to half the money and assets accrued during the time he worked and she stayed home to raise THEIR children.

Like I said, the laws were always there. To jump blindly into a marriage without thinking it through, and then after the marriage fails, to say "These laws are unfair" is like complaining that the speed limit is 55 after you get a ticket for going 80.


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## Grapes (Oct 21, 2016)

Your going to have to pay somthing so get over it and accept it. Going ballistic isnt going to help you.

If you dont want to pay her 1500 a month offer to buy her out cash for less. Or give her your half of the equity in the house. Get creative. Getting angry and destroying her things isnt going to help anything.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Grapes said:


> Getting angry and destroying her things isnt going to help anything.


Oh, it will help. His exwife and her attorney will have a field day.

Her (to her attorney) (crying) "He THREW OUT my clothes, the BASTARD!"

Her attorney "You'll be able to buy 3 times the amount of those clothes and once the judge hears about this you'll probably get even more alimony" and to him or herself the attorney will think "And I will get more legal fees because of this high conflict divorce".


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

53791263 said:


> Her attorney told her that I could be made to pay $1,500 a month for 2 years. This seems absolutely insane and I'll go to jail before I pay it. I bought the house myself before marriage and commingled it when we refinanced, HUGE MISTAKE.


It sounds like you've moved past the idea of going to jail instead of paying, if it comes down to this which is good. You definitely don't want to choose jail over paying because I believe you'd still have to pay once you get out. Now THAT would be a HUGE MISTAKE.

I read a little bit of your back story. It sounds like you two got together when you were at a very low point in your own life. I'm sure your judgment was compromised. If you do get stuck with a big alimony bill I would try to think of it as a lesson learned in life and maybe think of it like this:

She's clearly a flawed person, but when you were at your very lowest she was there for you. Now you have turned your life around and you are paying her to go away.

It's not fair, but obsessing on the unfairness of it will lead you to self-destructive behaviors and you have come so far.

Also - thank you for your service. You combat vets sacrifice so much for our country - you didn't just risk your life and physical health, you put your mental health on the line out there too and I'm sure some of the problems you had that led you to her had to do with that. But you have and are turning your whole life around. She's just one last piece from a dark time in your life that needs to be cleaned up.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

53791263 said:


> Usually, but not in this case. She took three of those 6 years and did a masters degree that I paid for with GI Bill benefits that were earned on a deployment 3 years before I met the woman. The last two years I spent yelling about getting a job till I told her to go pound sand on Nov 5th.
> 
> I'd have probably not even filed if it wasn't for the addition of the constant man shaming that she loved. 'Why don't you be a man and ....'. Ok, lets see you hustle you ass off to pay rent for once in your life, here's you divorce papers.


I get it. But the courts are not going to spend the time to weight every little thing in your marriage. There are too many cases for them to do this.

You are doing the right thing to get out of the marriage before the damage is even worse.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jb02157 said:


> I understand you and the courts say this is fair but it really isn't. Having laws like this make it so that a penniless woman can get into a relationship with a man where she agrees to take care of the kids and deliberately becomes an ******* to him causing a divorce where she now has the right to claim half of all his possessions. That just seems like theft to me, yet our court system makes it perfectly legal.


And a penniless, lazy beyond belief, man can do the same thing. I had a man try that with me. Once I figure out what he was up to, I divorced him before I was obligated to pay him alimony.

The court has no way of measuring the intent of a person when they marry. If a person does not want to ever be at risk to pay alimony, do not marry someone who does not earn less than you do. No one force you or anyone else to marry a person who does not earn equally.

The laws are there to protect people who are the most vulnerable... those who stay home to take care of the children and family.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

What does your lawyer actually have to say? Listening to her lawyer and what she says is far from a smart move. She does have earning potential with her degree which you helped pay for. She most likely will get some type of temporary maintenance but at the same time the courts are granting less maintenance time for qualified able bodied workers. 

You could always give up more assets to get out of alimony, this is what your lawyer should be working in the negotiations.


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

Grapes said:


> If you dont want to pay her 1500 a month offer to buy her out cash for less. Or give her your half of the equity in the house. Get creative.



I'm paying her probably the entire net proceeds of the sale and she said she will sign something saying she won't take alimony, my attorney corroborated this is factual. Reduced the price on the house yesterday, hoping to sell by the end of May. 

I actually just toured her attorney's triplex today and I might buy it to live in. Gross monthly rental income is $2,250 and I would make $500 per month over the mortgage payments and get paid to live their if I bought it.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

53791263 said:


> I actually just toured her attorney's triplex today and I might buy it to live in. Gross monthly rental income is $2,250 and I would make $500 per month over the mortgage payments and get paid to live their if I bought it.


I wish my exwife's attorney would have paid me to live in her triplex. Some guys get all the breaks.


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

He's not going to pay me to live there. I'm going to buy this property on the same day that I sell my current house. I'm going to use my VA loan and put zero money down and then live in one of the units and rent the other two out. I'll make about 500 bucks a month from living there once I collect the rents from the other two units. 

Funny thing is, my ex's attorney is selling this triplex to pay off his ex, he's going through a divorce too and she wants her equity.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Nice..

Don't know what your experience is as a landlord but from my experience, you want to thoroughly screen your tenants and do a full background and employment check for anyone who will be living there. At the initial interview tell them you don't rent to people with bad credit and it will cost them $25 to run their report, with no guarantee they will get the apartment if the credit doesn't check out. It's always worked for me, I made one mistake once and rented to the adult child of a person I had known before and they turned out to be drug dealing losers that cost me more aggravation than if I had simply left it vacant. 

You also might want to see how strong the rental market is in your area and be sure you can cover the place in the event you are not fully rented, and keep funds in reserve for the "dry" times between tenants. 

If you agree to rent to pets (assuming it's allowed in that development) you will have more prospective tenants who are usually willing to pay a large security deposit to cover potential damage by their animals since usually they don't have any other choice. 

Put a clause in the contract that either they pay utilities or you can raise the rent based on higher bills due to higher energy use. It prevents them from opening the windows when it's 30 degrees outside because they "feel stuffy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

53791263 said:


> He's not going to pay me to live there. I'm going to buy this property on the same day that I sell my current house. I'm going to use my VA loan and put zero money down and then live in one of the units and rent the other two out. I'll make about 500 bucks a month from living there once I collect the rents from the other two units.
> 
> Funny thing is, my ex's attorney is selling this triplex to pay off his ex, he's going through a divorce too and she wants her equity.


So your wife's attorney is selling you his property. And he's talking your wife into taking the payout from selling your house and forgoing alimony.

I wonder what kind of conflict of interest this could be.


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> I wonder what kind of conflict of interest this could be.


Good question, I have no idea if this could be considered legal malpractice. I saw that he had the triplex listed for sale last month and it's close to my office. I ran the numbers on the deal and determined it to be one of the three multi-units in the city that I would buy, just happened to by her attorney's triplex, straight coincidence. The guy does own a lot of property, he flips, buy and holds, employs full timers to rehab houses, and was a real estate broker for 20 years. 

I brought up the idea of my buying his triplex at the alimony hearing in front of my wife and both attorneys, I asked if it would be okay if I bought it, they both agreed that it would be fine. So full disclosure has been made, and I'm sure we would sign more disclosures identifying the parties to the transaction and their other legal entanglements, this should cover the bases in case someone has a problem down the line. 

My wife does understand that I have bent over backwards in order to provide her with everything she needs, a house, MS degree, got her to attend RCIA classes so she could finally get baptized, travel to 7 countries in 3 years. All I asked was for her to get a job to match her education and hopes for herself so she could live a fulfilling life. I don't believe she's out to rape me with alimony, she'll take the buyout, already told me she would, and I'll get a notarized document to that fact.

Her sisters would look down on her a little if she took alimony from me. They both have MS degrees as well, liberal, educated, urban, progressive and prideful types. They know she is operating well below her capability and see why I feel the way I do and agree that she should be using her degree. My wife is very socially conscious in regards to how people perceive her independence and education, she wouldn't want her family to look down on her for taking an unwarranted handout like $1,500 per month in alimony from an uneducated vet from the sticks, it flies in the face of their elitist, liberal thinking and their huge egos. It would verify to them that their own hyper educated aspirations aren't that big of a deal or as important as they like to believe.


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## laststraw (Mar 19, 2017)

I don't know if this will help you feel better but check your tax laws.... alimony is deductible for you and taxable to her on Federal level. Check your state tax laws to see what they are. 
Hope that gives you a positive in all the negative you are dealing with


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## 53791263 (Nov 14, 2016)

Manchester said:


> I cannot believe you are buying real estate from your wife's divorce attorney!
> 
> That's like the United States buying bombs from Al quaeda or something.


Yeah, it's a crazy world. Funny thing is he's selling the triplex to pay his wife that he's divorcing. She wants her portion of the equity. Everywhere I turn... Divorce.


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