# 3 way sex is ruining my marriage. Need advice to save this!



## savann (Apr 30, 2015)

This is the 3rd month that I have been browsing these forums and now it's time to get some help. We have tried and tried to fix this marriage and it is to the point that I am the only one trying. The camel's back was broken when I agreed to a 3 way with my wife and I was humiliated. Also, I wasn't sure if this was best to post this here or in the sex forum. If this is not the correct place, please move for me.

Sex has been pretty horrible for me and my wife. We have only been married 5 years and for the first 3, sex was great. My wife's sex drive all of a sudden decreased and she had little to no interest in sex. My sex drive soon followed and I never really recovered. She also stopped giving me oral sex about 2 years ago. For the past two years, our sex life has consisted of me giving her oral and me receiving a hand job in return. It wasn't my ideal arrangement but we both were able to climax with this arrangement.

My wife suggested that we try to do some new things to try to rekindle our sex life. She made it seem that I would have some say in what we should do but she had her heart set on having 3 way sex. On top of that, she wanted the 3rd person to be a man from her job. I really didn't feel right doing this but at the same time, I wanted her to be happy.I was desperate to do anything to save my marriage because I love her and don't want to divorce her under any circumstance. I never suspected her of cheating but I asked her what she knew about the guy. She said that he was a just a guy from work that casually agreed since he's single and clean. I agreed out of desperation. 

We had the 3 way last week and it was the most awkward and uncomfortable thing that I ever did in my life. Throughout the entire session, my wife paid more attention to him than me. The only thing good about it was that I saw that she was happy. After about 20 minutes in, she began to give him oral sex. I stopped her and asked how she could do that to him when she didn't do that to me anymore. She said that she wanted to do new things and this is what she wanted. It was very awkward and he just looked at me with a smirk. I was pissed and didn't want to participate anymore. 

Some part of me wanted to leave but I couldn't. I also woke up and wondered why the hell I ever agreed with this in the first place. I just laid down on the bed while they continued to have sex. They were then standing on the side of the bed having sex while I was laying there. I watched some more and then turned my head the other way. Without warning, I felt something warm across my back. I had no idea what it was but I knew it wasn't right. By the time I turned around, my wife was laughing hysterically and her co-worker was trying not to laugh. It only took a few seconds to realize that he shot his load all over my back. I was pissed and wanted to kick his ass. He swore that it was a mistake but he said it jokingly like they planned this or something.

This is the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. My wife enjoyed herself and said I shouldn't worry about it. I feel that they somehow set me up and the way that they looked at each other, I think they may have been together before. Now she is living happy and wants to do it again. I wanted to work on our sex life/marriage but now I'm not too sure. Is this some sort of phase she is going through? She is 46 and I just turned 43. I can accept that maybe I can't satisfy her sexually anymore but I can't help but to think that she told him to do that to me. What can I do to win her back and get my marriage on track? I feel that she spends more time focusing on other people and less on me. I want to be happy and also feel loved but she just isn't giving that to me right now. I told her I'm not comfortable with this guy coming to the house but she insists that he comes again this weekend and we go at it again. I really don't want to be around the guy and feel like I may just beat his ass if he tries something like that again. Any advice would be helpful.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree that it sounds like she set you up. She probably is already sexually involved with this guy. By bringing him into your bed she's basically trying to make you accept her affair.

She says that you should be ok with it? There are two things that I think you should do. 

One is to tell her that now it's your turn and you have a woman picked out. Tell her how young and hot this woman is... watch her reaction. I'm not suggesting that you go through with it. I'm suggesting that you mentally even things out making her think that you are going do to this. She will either say great or she will throw a hissy fit. My bet is that she will throw a fit.

Then file for divorce. Your marriage is over. She does not respect you.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

savann said:


> This is the 3rd month that I have been browsing these forums and now it's time to get some help. We have tried and tried to fix this marriage and it is to the point that I am the only one trying. The camel's back was broken when I agreed to a 3 way with my wife and I was humiliated. Also, I wasn't sure if this was best to post this here or in the sex forum. If this is not the correct place, please move for me.
> 
> Sex has been pretty horrible for me and my wife. We have only been married 5 years and for the first 3, sex was great. My wife's sex drive all of a sudden decreased and she had little to no interest in sex. My sex drive soon followed and I never really recovered. She also stopped giving me oral sex about 2 years ago. For the past two years, our sex life has consisted of me giving her oral and me receiving a hand job in return. It wasn't my ideal arrangement but we both were able to climax with this arrangement.
> 
> ...


Three way sex hasn't hurt your marriage. Not really. It is your own WIFE who had hurt your marriage.

I wonder what her mother thinks of three way sex and the humiliation of your spouse? Hmmm. I know! Let's ask her mom!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Fog and bridges


----------



## savann (Apr 30, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> I agree that it sounds like she set you up. She probably is already sexually involved with this guy. By bringing him into your bed she's basically trying to make you accept her affair.
> 
> She says that you should be ok with it? There are two things that I think you should do.
> 
> ...


It never crossed my mind to propose that but maybe I will try to do that next. Honestly, I'm now into having another 3 way whether it's with a man or woman. I just want to save my marriage and get my life back on track. Still, I'm sure she would be pissed if I did try to pull something like that because she is very jealous.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Lawyer up brother. This marriage is DOA.


----------



## DeusEx (Mar 7, 2013)

Troll? I read this kind of post before. Just can't remeber was it here or somewhere else? Everything looks the same, especially the finisher to the op's back. 

If this is not a troll, then I don't know what kind of a pushover doesn't smack the teeth out of OM mouth and file for divorce.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You have been trolled!!!


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

So many red flags up front. And bringing outsiders into the bedroom to FIX troubles DOES NOT WORK (with very rare exceptions). 

And I really like EleGirl's suggestions.


----------

