# Thrisis?



## CaitlynCat (Jun 1, 2012)

I'm turning 30 soon. Very soon. I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much. I've talked to a couple of women about this who have had the same expeience with the big 3-0. I know its not old, and I'm not tryin to say it is but I am 29, on my third marriage, have chosen not to have children, and although I thought I was ok with the life I've chosen...I'm second guessing myself these days. Anyone else experience this? I just feel like I'm losing a part of me by leaving my 20's era behind. This is made even stranger due to the fact that I actually look foward to gettin old. I can't wait to be in my 60's or 70's hanging on my back porch, working in my garden, and doing all those laidback relaxing things I see my grandparnets doing. So why in the world is 30 such a big deal?


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

I don't know, but I think certain ages trigger our emotions depending on life experience, life expectations, etc. for me it was 35... I woke up that morning, and literally cried..... I don't know why that age hit me so hard, but I felt so hopeless and useless I had a horrible day.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I was okay with turning 30. No biggie, I thought "what was all this fuss about?" Really thinking people overplayed the emotions of it all.

But THEN, when I turned 31. Bam. I had a hard time dealing with "over 30". I was very leery of getting older that year. That's when the thoughts of aging really hit me.

I guess it just took me a year more than the norm. Although, I hear that some feel it more at the 40 or 50 mile marker.

I felt nothing at 40, like I did back at 31. I'm just weird.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Yeah, certain ages hit harder than others. Welcome to the human race 

Seriously, looking back, I didn't even really know who I was at 30, and I certainly had no idea of the wonderful things and adventures that life had in store for me. So while it's ok to feel sad for a day, I hope you will also look forward to a brand new decade! And good news, you're going to be smarter in this one


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

Well I had a little bit of a time with turning thirty. But I felt certain it was because I was closing a chapter in my life. I knew I was moving on. I can say I like the future much more now and appreciate things more.
Why wait until you are "grandparent age" to enjoy those activities? The sound like things I do now. I garden and I will sit with tea on the back porch.
No need to second guess you self. You can change your mind and life at anytime. While it is a bit more work you are still young enough to have children or do what ever else you did not do in your 20's. You surely are not out of time. So if it is something you want to change do it. Life in your 30's is a great time to make changes. Lots of people do make big changes in their 30's.
Good luck and I hope that you get passed the feelings over turning thirty quickly so you can enjoy them


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

CaitlynCat said:


> ...I am 29, on my third marriage, *have chosen not to have children*...


30's not old. You'll get over it, but what is THIS about? Turning 30 is freaking you out but going for some kind of marriage record is just ...eh? I can't speak for any of this, except carve that bold part in granite and mount it on the ceiling over your bed.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

was fine with 30, not really bothered about 40

50 might hit hard though


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My 30s have been my best years 

There's a weird maturity that hit me at 30. It happened to another friend of mine too. She was scared to turn 30 and now realizes the changes in her own psyche.

Embrace it. Own it. You're gorgeous. Live.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

It's true, TG. For one thing, you quit caring so much what anyone else thinks


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

lamaga said:


> It's true, TG. For one thing, you quit caring so much what anyone else thinks


THAT is so true. It was the year of my 30th birthday that I decided to just put myself out there and date, do my music, do my art and not give a RAT'S ARSE what others thought.

I met my husband at the end of that year (31). I was ready.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I didn't like my 30's but I was also in transition from who my parents wanted me to be and who I really was.

The closer I got to 40 the happier I got. I'm 46 now and am happier than I've ever been.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I didn't like my 30's but I was also in transition from who my parents wanted me to be and who I really was.
> 
> The closer I got to 40 the happier I got. I'm 46 now and am happier than I've ever been.


I hit that parent vs. me thing at about 25. I know I'm not the daughter my mom always wanted, but I no longer carry that on my shoulders. I am who i am...LOL Popeye


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I hit that parent vs. me thing at about 25. I know I'm not the daughter my mom always wanted, but I no longer carry that on my shoulders. I am who i am...LOL Popeye


I wanted my parents to be proud of me but what I didn't realize was how toxic they were. I was essentially listening to people that I wouldn't ask directions from today. I sought therapy at age 33 and have spent the last 13 years getting to where you are now.

Better late than never right? LOL


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> I was essentially listening to people that I wouldn't ask directions from today.


Oh, Lordy. BEEN THERE DONE THAT


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Wasn't trying to hijack this thread. 

Most women that I know say that their 30's were a period of transition. And most also say they are happier now than they were in their 20's. A good friend told me that birthdays that end in 0 or 5 are the toughest. I agree with that. My 45th one was hard because I realized I was closer to 50 than 40.

But at the end of the day it's just a number. It does not define you.


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## clairey83 (Apr 20, 2012)

Oh I'm soooo not looking forward to being 30! I hated 25 and I can only imagine 30 being worse!

For no real reason either, other than I don't want to be old. Other than that I'm where I want to be. 

I go married ridiculously young, hand my daughter, split up, got divorced, had a few relationships that didn't work and now I'm with my Bob, happy as can be, he's got his 2 kids we get on the weekends too. Got a nice house, nice car, he's got a good job. I'm temporarily out of work but I'll find something soon 

As for being 30, I'm planning a rockin party to take my mind off the actual event  It's not til next April but I've already got the hall and the band booked haha


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> Wasn't trying to hijack this thread.
> 
> Most women that I know say that their 30's were a period of transition. And most also say they are happier now than they were in their 20's. A good friend told me that birthdays that end in 0 or 5 are the toughest. I agree with that. My 45th one was hard because I realized I was closer to 50 than 40.
> 
> But at the end of the day it's just a number. It does not define you.


I don't think it was hijacked.. the conversation just took a natural turn. 

The thought of feeling "older" hitting people, probably closely coincides with the period of transition you talk about.

Heck, I'm in my 40's & still don't know what I want out of life. I still try to please other people instead of myself. (Well, except when I'm feeling rather selfish.)


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

30 hurt, 35 hurt, I turned 40 and went...oh well. I imagine 50 will hurt though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Chelle D said:


> Heck, I'm in my 40's & still don't know what I want out of life. I still try to please other people instead of myself. (Well, except when I'm feeling rather selfish.)


Me neither I just know what I DON'T want which I figure is a start. LOL

I'm working on pleasing myself over other people but that's a tough habit to break.


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## CaitlynCat (Jun 1, 2012)

MrK said:


> 30's not old. You'll get over it, but what is THIS about? Turning 30 is freaking you out but going for some kind of marriage record is just ...eh? I can't speak for any of this, except carve that bold part in granite and mount it on the ceiling over your bed.


Not at all out for a marriage record. My first husband (at 18) became physically abusive and currently resides in prison where he should be. Second husband tended to appreciate incredibly young nude girls...NOT OK WITH ME. So now, I'm with number three and while we have our issues, it's nothing like the stuff I had to deal with in the other two. It's amazing just how well you think you know somone only to find out otherwise. I knew #2 for 10 years (as friends) before we decided to couple up and never knew about his rancid addiction. I tried to get both previous husbands to get help....neither would.

and as far as kids...I've never wanted kids to begin with. i'm much too adventurous and it's never been something I felt like I needed or desired in life. my husband and I have 15 nieces and nephews and we have a blast with them but it's nice to spoil them then get to send them home.


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## belljason92 (May 29, 2012)

Several individuals seem to have an ever-increasing ageing complex. It is just a part of life that everyone has to deal with when they get there. So you need not worry about it.


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