# Ladies opinion needed



## HurtinOhio (Aug 25, 2011)

I need a woman's opinion.

I am 37 years old. Weight 320 lbs. 5'7" tall. Balding. Never been out on a date. Never kissed a girl. Am shy. 

Would you classify me as a loser? Would you date me as I described myself?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Your not a loser in the least... I firmly believe in not judging a book by it's cover. If I were around your age and single... yeah I'd date you. My current man isn't like any of my ex's I've dated before him... which suprised my family and I had gotten teased for it before.. so I'm sure you will find a woman out there who would jump at the opportunity to date you.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I would only call you a loser if you lived in your parents' basement, did not have a job, and played video games all day.

Short and balding is OK, but the weight would be a problem for me. I would feel sorry for you, and that is not good for dating.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I've dated all sorts, sizes and colors of men - being a loser, just like being awesome, lies squarely on what kind of person you are, not what you look like.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HurtinOhio (Aug 25, 2011)

I got a job and don't live with parents.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

lovesherman said:


> I would only call you a loser if you lived in your parents' basement, did not have a job, and played video games all day.
> 
> Short and balding is OK, but the weight would be a problem for me. I would feel sorry for you, and that is not good for dating.



Weight can always be worked on imo... however I do agree with being jobless and living with parents while playing video games all day would classify as loser quality...


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

No not a loser but I don't think it would work because I do have a lot more experience. I would wonder what led you to that place? 
My husband is balding, I think he's sexy. You just need to find someone who is similar to you and gets you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Not a woman, but I would like to direct you to this thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/43360-what-makes-man-sexy.html

Might find some things in there that might give you more confidence when you do find a special lady to take out. Look for the positive things that describe you, or things you can work on to be more appealing (every man would do well to read that thread  )


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

HurtinOhio said:


> I need a woman's opinion.
> 
> I am 37 years old. Weight 320 lbs. 5'7" tall. Balding. Never been out on a date. Never kissed a girl. Am shy.
> 
> Would you classify me as a loser? Would you date me as I described myself?


Some women like shy men...I am one of them (though we are surely in the minority), I have never fallen at the feet of those who think they are God's gift to women. But I am rather visual - that is my hang up.... the weight would be an issue for me. 

I once knew a guy who worked with my husband in his younger yrs at the Grocery store... I don't think I ever met anyone as down on himself... he would literally go around and call himself a FUD... I'll never forget the moment I asked him what that meant standing in the grocery store aisle..... he answered ...."a Fat ugly Dork" (he wasn't even that big)..... I guess he thought he was being funny... but that was a bit much. We used to invite him over our house, him & my husband went to guns shows. 

No matter who are you, you have some special gifts IN this life...some talents.... what are you good at -what are you passionate about ? Do you make a superb cook? Are you hospitable, can you write, are you a good teacher- maybe in math, History, maybe you are an excellent Bowler, artist, guitarist, photographer....etc etc.

What brings you Joy ? Getting around people who appreciate & share these same passions - may help you build some confidence within yourself.... nobody is a Loser. We can all stand to improve ourselves though. 

I only count a *Loser *someone who destructs other poeple's lives...plenty of those walking around who think they are God's gift doing that. 

Sounds like you have a job, are Responsabily taking care of yourself. Build on that. :smthumbup:


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

It's obviously an issue for you. Do you try to date any women that are 37, 320lbs, 6ft 1 (taller for a woman, opposed to shorter for a male).. - unusually thinning hair for a female... etc... ?

If you've never tried... then ask yourself why?

I'm not trying to be mean... I'm just pointing out that a female in your very similar situation could be very shy also & wouldn't approach you or any other male either. Take a chance.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I have met alot of couples that one might be surprised they found a mate....I know 2 in my church, they are both blind, not sure how they met but they are together, happy & bring a great deal of joy to each -it shows on their faces when we see them. 

My TAX man has a similar body to yours, he is the nicest man, so excellent at his job- I wouldn't go to anyone else -he is happily married, not sure if they have kids or not, but....so long as you are willing & open to get to know other women who might feel a little shy , similar as yourself...put yourself out there. 

You know what they say, I believe it to be true..whatever your sex rank is physically..... we tend to gravitate to what we are, we feel comfortable in that and it has the most likely chance of success also. It simply works this way. 

If you want a slimmer woman, you will have to get in a rigorous weight program and loose the weight. There is really no way around this. It will be a ton of hard work, but think of the health benefits alone...you will be so very proud of yourself...setting a goal...and watching the weight shed. 

They say if you do something consistently for 17 days straight, then it becomes a "HABIT".... start there.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Honestly, hurtnohio:

The height: no big deal, I've been with men 5'7 before. Not important to ME.

The balding: no big deal, I've been with guys who were balding. Not important to ME.

The weight: a big deal to ME because it would indicate to me that you are a person who doesn't take care of himself (eating right, exercising) so how can you take care of a SO? Would you be SO FOCUSED on MY wants/needs/happiness that you would be neglecting your own? That is unhealthy and would lead to a 'too needy' relationship. It would indicate to me that you are depressed and don't see enough value in yourself; that would lead ME to think that I would be expected to 'fill you up' with all the emotional support you are lacking. Doesn't work long-term.

The shyness: not a big deal to ME. But, I do want to be with a man who has self-confidence: who feels he is a good person, treats others right, sees value in himself and others.

To be perfectly honest (and maybe it's just ME), I actually deduct 'points' (if you know what I mean) for VERY ATTRACTIVE men. I have found that too many of them think they can skate by on their good looks and charm and are, therefore, unwilling to be a caring attentive partner. They don't HAVE to be. They have found that they can be selfish and self-centered and when their SOs have had enough, there's dozens of more women waiting in line to date them JUST BECAUSE they're good-looking. They can be shallow and self-involved because it's a 'numbers' game with them, and there's always another woman waiting to be 'charmed' by them.


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## onehotmama (Apr 13, 2012)

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. And there is someone for everyone! Put yourself out there
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

HurtinOhio said:


> I need a woman's opinion.
> 
> I am 37 years old. Weight 320 lbs. 5'7" tall. Balding. Never been out on a date. Never kissed a girl. Am shy.
> 
> Would you classify me as a loser? Would you date me as I described myself?


I don't think you're a loser but I think you're a troll. 


Also, when do you think you can get rid of your shyness?
When you reach your 80s?


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> originally posted by HurtinOhio 08-25-2011 06:25pm
> 
> But you did. I am just at the beginning of this and *my wife* may feel the same way but it is killing me inside.


(note: emphasis added by me)


Well, HurtinOhio, you are a liar (either in Aug or now). 

wife? no wife?

troll? not a troll?

hmmm, I've made up MY mind. I thought you were another poster whose sign-in name differs from yours by only ONE letter; that person's posts I've respected. Perhaps someone else who is actually IN this position will read this thread and benefit by it anyway.


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