# What does this forum mean to you?



## LillyoftheValley (May 18, 2012)

Just wondering how people use this space in their life. Does it become a daily posting thing, or just when you have questions, or just when you are in trouble?

Just wondering


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I kinda post daily... it's entertaining and there are alot of fun people to interact with on this board. Some I may not always agree with but hey.. if everyone agreed then it would be a pretty boring place wouldn't it? lol


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Aside from the being entertained part I have read through alot of these threads, discussed them with the hubby and there are alot of things here that do help relationship wise. That and I have a habit of stating my POV on certain matters and sometimes try to give some sort of advice myself... lol


----------



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

After my wife and I went through a rough time and were on the mend, I found this site. I sure do wish that I had found it earlier because there is so much great advice here.
I visit for a number of reasons;
I get new ideas for my own relationship
I can use my experiences to help others
I learn a lot more about women
Almost all of the regulars here are really fun people to talk and joke around with.


----------



## WillK (May 16, 2012)

I came here because it showed up on a search for a question I wanted to answer related to trouble with our marriage. I'd probably attribute a lot of the turn-around to this forum.

Now I'd say I'm here daily to pick a few stories to that are similar to mine and follow them through until the advice that helped me sets in to help someone else. It's kind of a way to exercise my mind, and keep my improvement active.


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I come here to talk about love, life, sex, disco and various unrelated things with a group of like minded individuals who don't mind my odd sense of humour

users on this forum are adept at pulling you out of a dark place and it means more to me than people realise


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> I come here to talk about love, life, sex, disco and various unrelated things with a group of like minded individuals who don't mind my odd sense of humour
> 
> users on this forum are adept at pulling you out of a dark place and it means more to me than people realise


no response dolly, just liked it. 

this is where all mah friends  are :/


----------



## hldnhope (Apr 10, 2012)

This 'Forum' has been tremendous for me!!! It has helped me out so much since I joined. Nice to see and be able to talk with people that are going through similar issues as myself and to get the help I need for it. It's just so tough trying to explain to friends/family just what you are going through and getting all kinds of advice (as well-intentioned as it is) when they really have never been through anything like this.

THANK YOU TAM!!!!!:smthumbup:


----------



## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

I'm a newlywed and I feel like this forum has already helped my marriage in a big way. Thanks to this forum: now when I have problems I force myself to talk about them right away so resentment doesn't build. I've learned how IMPORTANT sex in marriage is. I've learned how important it is to stay emotionally close to your spouse. These are things I never really thought about before because right now, none of those things are issues, but I've learned that no matter how good a marriage may be, it is always going to take consistent work. 

I love the fact that everyone here just really wants to work on their marriage and making it better. I love this forum.


----------



## seesah (Apr 26, 2012)

This forum is my lifeline. I've struggled with codependency in every one of my relationships so it's hard for me to tell when I'm being irrational or not. All I do is make a quick post on here and I know that I will get some honest answers. It helps me to be more assertive when I know that I'm not being irrational about an issue.

This forum reassures me that I'm not crazy and that others have the same or similar marital issues as I do. As a result of this forum, my husband and I have decided to take a break from MC. I have support here and I no longer depend on a therapist to tell me what I need to do for my marriage. :smthumbup:


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I used to post on Love shack. Then I came here and discovered what a good site was.

And ditto to DanF's comments.


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I came hear because my marriage was drifting on to the rocks. The advice here corrected my course. I stay here to learn and to use what I learn to enhance our lives. I post because it's the least I can do, to reciprocate for the help I've been given.


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

GTdad said:


> I used to post on Love shack. Then I came here and discovered what a good site was.
> 
> And ditto to DanF's comments.


The fact that other place has a large subforum for cheaters is what turned me off from that site. Not to mention the lack of moderation for long periods of time.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> The fact that other place has a large subforum for cheaters is what turned me off from that site. Not to mention the lack of moderation for long periods of time.


Ok.. am glad I never came across any forum like that. This one was actually the first i came across when trying to look for ways to improve my own relationship...


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> The fact that other place has a large subforum for cheaters is what turned me off from that site. Not to mention the lack of moderation for long periods of time.


Those were definitely problems for me, together with all the angst and gotterdammerung of the dating forum. Too much there that I just couldn't relate to.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

I came here during the most emotionally dark time in my life, (Yes, that kind of dark) just a few months after D-Day as a lurker. A few months later I joined as I felt we were finally getting a little traction. I never really posted a lot on my situation just offered advice to others on my philosophy. It was very therapeutic for me to offer hope especially when in reality my own was dying inside. I was afraid we had plateaued at a point that probably wasn't enough to sustain the marriage. I was lucky to see a couple of great success stories and with some added energy and effort was able to post my own. I don't post as much as I used to to offer advice as I have found with time my scars are pretty healed and I can't provide the empathetic advice I used to. Not that I don't care but that I am too far distant from the pain now. I thoroughly enjoy the forum but know it consumes far too much of my time. A day will come when it will be time for me to leave, I just haven't determined when but it is coming. 

Thank you everyone for your participation in TAM and thank you Chris for founding and funding it. It has helped so many.


----------



## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

sanctuary

1. protection, shelter, refuge, haven, retreat, asylum. < lol


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Yes....like many others, joined up because of one particular issue, and TAM showed up on a search. Well, the more I read, the more I realized that I wasn't alone in my thinking! I learned the term 'emotional affair' here, long after I'd been a party to one...not really realizing what I had done or been engaged in doing at the time. It was a few years back, before I met my husband.

Since then, there have been other problmes that have cropped up, and I've come here for help dealing.


----------



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

This forum For me started as a way to seek advice and now it has become more of a haven, I have some online friends in here I can talk to, I can give some advice, see what good marriages are, what pitfalls to avoid, etc. I take away a lot of insight and knowledge from others successes and struggles...and occasionally I can help others from my own experiences.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

This forum pulled me out of a dark place. I was drifting and sterilized with alcohol. It let me know I wasn't alone in my suffering and helped me find my big boy pants.


----------



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

> Charter member of the secret pork loin cult.


Joe, are you a smoker? Ribs, pork butt, brisket, etc?


----------



## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

DanF said:


> Joe, are you a smoker? Ribs, pork butt, brisket, etc?


Yes sir.


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Mainly to ask questions and at times when I feel like I'm in trouble. I'm only 24 and have been married 11 months and have had very little dating experience in the past so I don't have much advice to give no matter how much I'd like to. Don't think many people would want to get it from me anyway. I mainly can only do so if I can relate to the problem. At times I come here to browse through the topics and read...see if there's anything interesting and see if I may possibly have a response.


----------



## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

I came here 5 years ago when I thought I have some serious problem with my marriage and found out I was suffering from mild ppd and my marriage is doing okay. I have been visiting on and off during my free times, I learn a lot, get ideas, support others if possible and most of all I love the sense of humour and honesty some of you posters have.


----------



## LillyoftheValley (May 18, 2012)

Wonderful helpful enlightening answers. Thank you so much \/


----------



## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

I originally came here to seek advice as a WS who had an EA (a year post-dday this month). Now, I usually visit a few times a week to read and share whatever advice/opinion(s) that might be relevant to posts I read. 

More importantly, for myself, checking in here also serves to keep things in perspective for me as I go through a difficult R with my wife and learning about myself. Some days, I might be feeling very negative about the situation and read something here that might get me to think about why I'm feeling the way I am at the moment. I might not feel better, but at least there's another perspective to consider, especially if I'm feeling self-righteous or annoyed at how things are going in my personal situation.

On the other hand, TAM is also very educational about how much worse off things could be for me. Some of the situations that I read about here are absolutely gut-wrenching, at times. I do like that there is a "down-to-earthness" about a lot of the responses to posts here. People might disagree, but there is a sense of empathy and mature straight-forwardness on TAM that's really good to see.


----------

