# Who caught their WS in the act?



## bankshot1993

Ok, so we hear all about the spouses that saw the flags, did the PI work and pieced together the puzzle until they finally had enough proof to confront.

Has anybody ever caught their spouse actually doing the deed? would be interested to hear how that went. Discovery is one thing but walking in on it is a hole no issue. Did it play a role in whether or not to reconcile?


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## Marduk

I once heard a guy say that he snuck in to his house while he was at work, opened the bedroom door and some guy was pounding his wife.

He pulled up a chair quietly and proceeded to watch until they noticed him taking pictures.

Which made it really hard for her to deny the affair or that "it wasn't what it looked like."


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## bankshot1993

That's exactly what I'm curious about. It changes so much of the discovery and confrontation part. It makes me wonder just how you proceed from there.

When you find out by seeing texts or reading emails it's left to the imagination what happened and you can Imagine some pretty bad things but when you walk in on it and see them in the act there is no undoing what you've seen.

At least with imagination you can eventually convince yourself it wasn't real, you can't do that when you had a front row seat.


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## Hope1964

marduk said:


> I once heard a guy say that he snuck in to his house while he was at work, opened the bedroom door and some guy was pounding his wife.
> 
> He pulled up a chair quietly and proceeded to watch until they noticed him taking pictures.
> 
> Which made it really hard for her to deny the affair or that "it wasn't what it looked like."


OMG I don't know if I could have kept from either flattening their heads with something large or bursting out laughing.


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## jorgegene

no thank GOD! 

it's bad enough learning about it months later or years and getting the visual movies playing in your head.

for that matter, the mind movies before you even know, but when you suspect are bad enough.


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## LosingHim

A good friend and I worked together. I was due to be in her wedding in 6 weeks. 

She took a late lunch one day and noticed she forgot her salad dressing so she decided to run home to get it. They lived in a duplex house so a strange car outside didn’t throw up any red flags. She walked in the house and heard strange noises coming from the bedroom. Walked back to the bedroom, opened the door and caught her fiancé (and some chic he met at the grocery store) in full on horizontal mambo. 

She ran out of the house and called me at work and told me. Waited til I got there and then we went in together and moved her stuff out. I kept him away from her, got the girl out of the house with no incident (other than my friend yelling obscenities at her). She had just dropped the invitations to the wedding at the post office that morning so she had to run down and stop them before the mail ran. She got all but about 20 back from the PO, the others I helped her call and tell them to ignore the invite, the wedding was off. 

She was in a state of disbelief/shock for a couple of hours afterwards. She literally just kept saying she must have caught him masturbating and that’s why he was sweaty. She KNEW the girl was in the house, in the room and had to be escorted out of the bedroom by me, but somehow she had blocked the vision of seeing them in coitus.


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## stephscarlett

Yes. Painful subject. Had to have EMDR therapy to get over the visual of him on top of her - they weren't naked - just making out big time.
Then he had the audacity to say I caused my own trauma by not letting my PI do the job, I actually showed up there myself. 
Yep, true.
Ugh.


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## GusPolinski

marduk said:


> I once heard a guy say that he snuck in to his house while he was at work, opened the bedroom door and some guy was pounding his wife.
> 
> He pulled up a chair quietly and proceeded to watch until they noticed him taking pictures.
> 
> Which made it really hard for her to deny the affair or that "it wasn't what it looked like."


Ha!

I'm reminded of the scene from "This Is Where I Leave You" in which Jason Bateman's character walks in on his wife screwing his boss.

In the marital bed.

On their anniversary.

Anyway, while very amusing, I'd imagine that the overwhelming majority of guys -- or, for that matter, women -- would be incapable of that level of situational awareness upon walking in on something like that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho

I was at a wedding many years ago where the groom busted the bride and best man having too much fun in the back of the limousine. 

Most entertaining wedding I was ever at!


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## bankshot1993

stephscarlett said:


> Yes. Painful subject. Had to have EMDR therapy to get over the visual of him on top of her - they weren't naked - just making out big time.
> Then he had the audacity to say I caused my own trauma by not letting my PI do the job, I actually showed up there myself.
> Yep, true.
> Ugh.


Ugh is right. I get to wondering which one causes more trauma, your imagination running wild and thinking up the worst or seeing just plain old vanilla sex with your own eyes.

Seeing it right there in front of you takes away your ability to deny or minimize anything. If you're the kind of person that would want to try to reconcile I would think it would be more difficult to get over it when you see it with your own two eyes. There would be no way to convince yourself that your imagination is getting the better of you and your making it out to be worse than it is because you know exactly what "it" is.


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## GusPolinski

honcho said:


> I was at a wedding many years ago where the groom busted the bride and best man having too much fun in the back of the limousine.
> 
> Most entertaining wedding I was ever at!


Hope he dumped her on the spot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stephscarlett

bankshot1993 said:


> Ugh is right. I get to wondering which one causes more trauma, your imagination running wild and thinking up the worst or seeing just plain old vanilla sex with your own eyes.
> 
> Seeing it right there in front of you takes away your ability to deny or minimize anything. If you're the kind of person that would want to try to reconcile I would think it would be more difficult to get over it when you see it with your own two eyes. There would be no way to convince yourself that your imagination is getting the better of you and your making it out to be worse than it is because you know exactly what "it" is.


so, you understand why I maintain I should never have to see that person again and move. I mean, really?!


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## LosingHim

I KNOW I could reconcile a PA. I just know how I’m built. It would hurt like hell, but I know me. 

However, SEEING it may be a whole different story. 

Knowing about a PA, you’re left to your imagination. Mind movies, what you think happened. Seeing it, I’d have to imagine that image is burned into your brain forever.


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## bankshot1993

stephscarlett said:


> so, you understand why I maintain I should never have to see that person again and move. I mean, really?!


Steph, I hope you'll forgive me but I'm not familiar with your story. are you still with the WS? did this play a role in whether or not to reconcile?


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## stephscarlett

bankshot1993 said:


> Steph, I hope you'll forgive me but I'm not familiar with your story. are you still with the WS? did this play a role in whether or not to reconcile?


it made it incredibly difficult. IT was 4 years ago. We're still together. I had an affair first and that is the ONLY REASON I stayed after this happened - it was his second affair in a very short period of time.
But I have made the decision to leave if I have to see her repeatedly. I was too weak to leave before. I'm not now. 
It doesnt' have the hold it does on me as much. But the fact that he doesn't think this particular trauma is enough for us to move will destroy this marriage. Not the actual affair. If that makes sense.


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## honcho

GusPolinski said:


> Hope he dumped her on the spot.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Dumped is an understatement. We got to witness a highly entertaining fight with the best man ending up knocked out and the lovely bride thrown in the pond at the reception hall. 

Wedding cake ended up in parking lot with him driving over it. All in all a very memorable reception.


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## bankshot1993

stephscarlett said:


> it made it incredibly difficult. IT was 4 years ago. We're still together. I had an affair first and that is the ONLY REASON I stayed after this happened - it was his second affair in a very short period of time.
> But I have made the decision to leave if I have to see her repeatedly. I was too weak to leave before. I'm not now.
> It doesnt' have the hold it does on me as much. But the fact that he doesn't think this particular trauma is enough for us to move will destroy this marriage. Not the actual affair. If that makes sense.


it does.


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## bankshot1993

honcho said:


> Dumped is an understatement. We got to witness a highly entertaining fight with the best man ending up knocked out and the lovely bride thrown in the pond at the reception hall.
> 
> Wedding cake ended up in parking lot with him driving over it. All in all a very memorable reception.


Like having front row tickets to a taping of Jerry Springer


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## Amplexor

honcho said:


> Dumped is an understatement. We got to witness a highly entertaining fight with the best man ending up knocked out and the lovely bride thrown in the pond at the reception hall.
> 
> Wedding cake ended up in parking lot with him driving over it. All in all a very memorable reception.


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## baldmale

I "heard" the act when she was screwing a co-worker in a parked car and she butt-dialed me getting undressed. I already knew things were off prior to the call which is why I listened all the way through instead of just hanging up and writing it off as a butt dial while she was at work. 

Things seen cannot be unseen, and things heard cannot be unheard. I would have preferred learning the truth without that kind of evidence, but (and here is the big BUT), AT LEAST I KNEW THE TRUTH. I might never had got there without this catch.


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## bankshot1993

baldmale said:


> I "heard" the act when she was screwing a co-worker in a parked car and she butt-dialed me getting undressed. I already knew things were off prior to the call which is why I listened all the way through instead of just hanging up and writing it off as a butt dial while she was at work.
> 
> Things seen cannot be unseen, and things heard cannot be unheard. I would have preferred learning the truth without that kind of evidence, but (and here is the big BUT), AT LEAST I KNEW THE TRUTH. I might never had got there without this catch.


That's true, in the face of irrefutable truth there is some degree of closure.


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## stephscarlett

oh, I forgot to add I heard it all too. I put a VAR in his car AND had him followed by a PI on the same day. Eureka! 
They had made out earlier, after going out to lunch. The next day after I caught him I locked myself in the bathroom and listened to it - sickening. 
He's never asked me to lunch, made out with me at the golf course and then asked to see me again because he HAD to see me and made out with me a couple hours later in the park.
Well, now this thread is getting me pissed.
I better go.


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## EI

honcho said:


> Dumped is an understatement. We got to witness a highly entertaining fight with the best man ending up knocked out and the lovely bride thrown in the pond at the reception hall.
> 
> Wedding cake ended up in parking lot with him driving over it. All in all a very memorable reception.


Before or after the wedding vows? Did anyone end up in jail?


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## CH

EI said:


> Before or after the wedding vows? Did anyone end up in jail?


Usually in these cases if he's just knocked out and doesn't require emergency help, they take a report that almost never gets turned in.

And most of the time the other party won't even press charges because they don't want to be branded as a guy who sleeps with a friends wife/gf. And most of all, if he did, the other friends would accidentally keep having their fists falling down on his face on a later date.

Had a friend knock out another guy at a wedding cuz he was drunk and hitting on all the women their along with the bride. Laid out flat on his back in the middle of the parking lot. Alot of yelling and screaming but the bride and groom never heard about it until later and just kept on partying because we took care of the problem and covered it up so that it was just an accident for anyone that didn't see him get knocked the F out.

Picked him up, threw him in a car and someone drove him home and dumped him on his front yard. Never heard from that guy ever again. He wasn't a friend of the group but it was a friend of a friend that hung around us quite a bit.


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## bandit.45

honcho said:


> Dumped is an understatement. We got to witness a highly entertaining fight with the best man ending up knocked out and the lovely bride thrown in the pond at the reception hall.
> 
> Wedding cake ended up in parking lot with him driving over it. All in all a very memorable reception.


Now that is a wedding I want to go to. 

But Mexican wedding receptions are the best. There is always a fight near the end when everyone is plastered. Mexican boys loooooooove to fight.


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## barbados

not a spouse but first LTR GF. Caught in the the "walk of shame" but not in the act. Long story short, she went to a wedding w/o me, was supposed to meet me after that night, never showed.

Next morning I go to where the reception was and see her car there. Wait a while and she comes up with a girl and 2 other guys. She sees me, get in my car, and I just ask her, which one were you with, and she says "the tall one".


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## stephscarlett

OMG some of these stories...


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## Jponce06

marduk said:


> I once heard a guy say that he snuck in to his house while he was at work, opened the bedroom door and some guy was pounding his wife.
> 
> He pulled up a chair quietly and proceeded to watch until they noticed him taking pictures.
> 
> Which made it really hard for her to deny the affair or that "it wasn't what it looked like."


****ing ouch (by then he must of just been numb not to kill them both)


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## Marc878

barbados said:


> not a spouse but first LTR GF. Caught in the the "walk of shame" but not in the act. Long story short, she went to a wedding w/o me, was supposed to meet me after that night, never showed.
> 
> Next morning I go to where the reception was and see her car there. Wait a while and she comes up with a girl and 2 other guys. She sees me, get in my car, and I just ask her, which one were you with, and she says "the tall one".


Well that was an awkward ride back huh.


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## Lots to Learn

I unfortunately belong to this club. The act was just finished we can say. Arrive with the music, candles, and cum rag beside the bed side table with the wedding photo. The OM literally did the "oh ****!!" . Then proceeded to tell me as he backed into the corner how it wasn't what it looked liked, and my wife love me. Ugh. My wife was literally in shock with that "stare" they all do. So brutal. 

This was the end result of a month of gas lighting, lies, deception, the regular script. I had the phone records, the banking, all the regular ****, but as you all know cheaters lie. A lot. I approached her numerous times previous in a safe manner, asking her to come clean (I didn't have total proof of course) and if she was done with the marriage then let's stop the game and get divorced. Buy each time she "was confused" "loved me", "needed time", blah, blah. 

So I got my proof as you can see. If it wasn't for TAM at the time I'm not sure how I would of made out. 

The pain is still there of course but I am getting better with every passing day. NC had been a blessing. Can you believe she has been circling around me wanting to "be freinds!" . So devastating. She says "we shouldn't be like this". Or is this what you want? Not talk not be friends after 15 years?

Really? 

I can say the whole mess had been the most difficult experience in my life. Certainly emotionally. But as many of you know, the emotion is so strong it causes physical pain. I lost 45 lbs. many people thought I was dieing of cancer! Ugh. 

I can say this now that I have much more perspective that even walking in on it and the mind movies and sleepless nights (nightmares) are not as painful as the lies and decipt which preceded. That, and her watching the man she "loved" go down the toilet and not show a lick of empathy or a piss whilst this went down, all the while telling me she loved me. 

What a mind ****!

Cheers TAM!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45

I don't know anyone personally who had this happen to them. 

Morituri, one of our esteemed TAM veteranos, came across a video of his wife having sex with her OM on her computer. 

I think there was another guy on here not to long ago who saw videos of his wife and her OM playing hide-the-sausage. 

And then we had a couple on TAM where the wife, who was a marriage counselor, was having sex with her OM in her office. Her husband, who was an egghead, had rigged up her cell phone to turn on and go VOX when he called it, so when he called her that day he could hear her and her OM doing the nasty on her desk. Anyone remember their names? The husband later went on to become a pilot.


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## Marc878

Ah, the famous "why can't we be friends ploy" used by cheaters worldwide to somehow say "see were friends so he's OK with me wh0ring around behind his back".

Look up the definition of friend


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## Lots to Learn

Marc878 said:


> Ah, the famous "why can't we be friends ploy" used by cheaters worldwide to somehow say "see were friends so he's OK with me wh0ring around behind his back".


You know it!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski

bandit.45 said:


> And then we had a couple on TAM where the wife, who was a marriage counselor, was having sex with her OM in her office. Her husband, who was an egghead, had rigged up her cell phone to turn on and go VOX when he called it, so when he called her that day he could hear her and her OM doing the nasty on her desk. Anyone remember their names? The husband later went on to become a pilot.


I *think* this was @DevastatedDad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski

baldmale said:


> I "heard" the act when she was screwing a co-worker in a parked car and she butt-dialed me getting undressed. I already knew things were off prior to the call which is why I listened all the way through instead of just hanging up and writing it off as a butt dial while she was at work.
> 
> Things seen cannot be unseen, and things heard cannot be unheard. I would have preferred learning the truth without that kind of evidence, but (and here is the big BUT), AT LEAST I KNEW THE TRUTH. I might never had got there without this catch.


Ouch.

Read through a couple of your threads earlier.

Not sure how a marriage can come back from that.

My hat's off to you, sir.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marc878

[QUOT
I=GusPolinski;15332609]I *think* this was @DevastatedDad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE]

I remember reading this. He confronted the guy and he was crying tears and begging not to be exposed to his wife. BS relented and did no exposure. I think around two weeks later the OM was back banging her on her desk in her office. 

So ..........


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## honcho

EI said:


> Before or after the wedding vows? Did anyone end up in jail?


It was after the vows, after the dinner but before the band started. If memory serves the groom was looking for her in regards to the band starting time when he found them together. 

Gosh looking back it was 30 years ago now, back in those days being less politically correct the police werent even called.


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## GusPolinski

honcho said:


> It was after the vows, after the dinner but before the band started. If memory serves the groom was looking for her in regards to the band starting time when he found them together.
> 
> Gosh looking back it was 30 years ago now, back in those days being less politically correct the police werent even called.


Damn. That had to be one of the quickest annulments ever.

I'll bet her parents (or whoever was footing the bill) were pretty pissed.

_Posted via Mobile Device_
#guspo10k


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## bankshot1993

GusPolinski said:


> Damn. That had to be one of the quickest annulments ever.
> 
> I'll bet her parents (or whoever was footing the bill) were pretty pissed.
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> #guspo10k




I can't even imagine. how much shame would a normal person feel getting caught on their wedding day fooling around on the man they just married moments before, not that a person with any semblance of normal would do that.


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## honcho

bankshot1993 said:


> I can't even imagine. how much shame would a normal person feel getting caught on their wedding day fooling around on the man they just married moments before, not that a person with any semblance of normal would do that.


I remember her being mad that the boytoy got his teeth knocked out and how the night was ruined because her hubby and his temper. Shame seemed to have little to do with her reaction.


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## TDSC60

honcho said:


> Dumped is an understatement. We got to witness a highly entertaining fight with the best man ending up knocked out and the lovely bride thrown in the pond at the reception hall.
> 
> Wedding cake ended up in parking lot with him driving over it. All in all a very memorable reception.


Reception? Holy crap! Are you saying this happened after the wedding?


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## 3putt

bandit.45 said:


> I don't know anyone personally who had this happen to them.
> 
> Morituri, one of our esteemed TAM veteranos, came across a video of his wife having sex with her OM on her computer.
> 
> I think there was another guy on here not to long ago who saw videos of his wife and her OM playing hide-the-sausage.
> 
> And then we had a couple on TAM where the wife, who was a marriage counselor, was having sex with her OM in her office. Her husband, who was an egghead, had rigged up her cell phone to turn on and go VOX when he called it, so when he called her that day he could hear her and her OM doing the nasty on her desk. Anyone remember their names? The husband later went on to become a pilot.





GusPolinski said:


> I *think* this was @DevastatedDad.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It was. I still wonder how he is doing.


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## 6301

Saw a guy lay a trap for his wife while I was working once. He must have known that she was cheating and he left for work and he drove his truck down the street and hid it behind a UPS truck and about ten minuets later he saw his wife in some guys car coming down the street. He pulls his truck from behind the UPS truck and blocked the road, got out, grabbed the guy out of the car through the window and proceeded to give this guy a whole lot of "You ain't seen nothing yet" to the point that me and one of my employees had to go down and pull him off the guy because I though he was going to kill him. His wife got out of the car and she charges after her husband and put a hand full of scratches across his face and he hauled off and tagged her good across the jaw. Police shows up maybe five minuets later. They come looking for me and I told them what I saw, when they asked about the husband hitting his wife I said she charged him and the scratches are still on his face. It was a stupid thing to do on both parties. The guy and his wife were both put in police cars and taken away. The guy who got his ass kicked had to go in a ambulance. Bet he thinks twice about messing with another mans wife.


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## EI

3putt said:


> It was. I still wonder how he is doing.


They're still together, and last I heard, she was learning to fly, as well.


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## Marc878

bandit.45 said:


> I don't know anyone personally who had this happen to them.
> 
> Morituri, one of our esteemed TAM veteranos, came across a video of his wife having sex with her OM on her computer.


When Morituri did the confrontation he played it in front of her.

She vomited. 

No way to lie out of that one.


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## GusPolinski

Lots to Learn said:


> The pain is still there of course but I am getting better with every passing day. NC had been a blessing. Can you believe she has been circling around me wanting to "be freinds!" . So devastating. She says "we shouldn't be like this". Or is this what you want? Not talk not be friends after 15 years?


"No, that's not what I want...

I want to have never laid eyes upon you."


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## ThePheonix

If you see your spouse doing the horizontal rumba with someone else it may give you solace to remember what skeptics say about folks seeing flying saucers, etc.... Studies of how our brains work show that humans make terrible eye witnesses because the brain often misinterprets what the eye really sees. :smile2:


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## jdawg2015

My cousin caught her BF doing it with her best friend and she walked in on them. It's still hard for her to talk about it as they were together 10 years.

I know my instincts and it would be very hard not to pummel the guy in a case like that, even though it would be the women to blame. Getting the mental image out of my head I think would be impossible and any kind of reconciliation would be impossible.

For me, it would give me a lot of resolved to be spiteful and revengeful for sure.


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## barbados

Marc878 said:


> Well that was an awkward ride back huh.


Sure was ! :grin2:


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## Maxo

bandit.45 said:


> Now that is a wedding I want to go to.
> 
> But Mexican wedding receptions are the best. There is always a fight near the end when everyone is plastered. Mexican boys loooooooove to fight.


Like thoseDiaz brothers, from Stockton. They crack me up.


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## Yeswecan

I did not catch my fiance hiding the salami but I did catch her swapping spit after her date with OM.


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## bankshot1993

Yeswecan said:


> I did not catch my fiance hiding the salami but I did catch her swapping spit after her date with OM.


On a date with another man!!! Wow, I guess that relationship was doomed before it even really began.


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## Yeswecan

bankshot1993 said:


> On a date with another man!!! Wow, I guess that relationship was doomed before it even really began.


I was at college. The communication stopped abruptly. I drove to her house 2 hours from my school. The ole' gut feeling kicking. I sat out front of her house. Up pulls my soon to be X fiance' and douche bag. Then the oh so romantic long kiss good night. Touching really. Confronted so she knew I was on to her less than stellar activity. 

In hindsight, best darn thing she did for me. As of today, she is a single mother of two. A long history of screwing anything that can get stiff. 

Life has been very good with my W of 22 years. Maybe one day when I see my x-fiance' I will thank her for her extra curricular activity way back when. Saved me a whole bunch of drama, heartbreak and certainly cash.


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## bankshot1993

Yeswecan said:


> I was at college. The communication stopped abruptly. I drove to her house 2 hours from my school. The ole' gut feeling kicking. I sat out front of her house. Up pulls my soon to be X fiance' and douche bag. Then the oh so romantic long kiss good night. Touching really. Confronted so she knew I was on to her less than stellar activity.
> 
> In hindsight, best darn thing she did for me. As of today, she is a single mother of two. A long history of screwing anything that can get stiff.
> 
> Life has been very good with my W of 22 years. Maybe one day when I see my x-fiance' I will thank her for her extra curricular activity way back when. Saved me a whole bunch of drama, heartbreak and certainly cash.


I realize it makes me a bad person but I love to hear stories about how WS's fail at life after they screw around on their spouse.


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## Yeswecan

bankshot1993 said:


> I realize it makes me a bad person but I love to hear stories about how WS's fail at life after they screw around on their spouse.


 :smile2:


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## bandit.45

Worst story I ever heard was from a young guy who called in to an L.A. radio talk show. He was having suspicions that his brand new wife was having an affair (she was ignoring him, coming home late, acting weird, etc.) So one afternoon she called him to tell him she would be home late for work. He borrowed a friend's car and drove to her workplace, waited for her to get off work, then followed her. He was surprised when she drove to his dad's house. 

He had a sinking feeling. He knew his dad had been a philanderer, so expecting the worst, he parked down the street and crept down the alley to his dad's back yard. He hopped the fence and sneaked up to the patio doors at the back of the house. He could see inside to the living room and there he saw his wife, naked, straddling and riding his dad (also naked) on the living room couch. She looked up and saw him and screamed. At the same time he had come in through the patio door, and just as his wife jumped off his dad, he slammed his fist into the side of his dad's head and the fight was on. They bounced around the living room for a while and the wife called the cops. He got arrested and booked for breaking and entering and assault. 

The charges were later dropped, but the family of course was torn apart. The guy divorced his wife, and the whole family ostracized the dad. 

The poor guy was crying when he was telling this story. The radio host told him it wast he first time in his decades of radio work that he literally could not think of something to say.


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## bandit.45

But this was the saddest I have ever seen:

Ex-deputy who caught wife, father together pleads guilty to assault | Deseret News


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## Amplexor

bankshot1993 said:


> I realize it makes me a bad person but I love to hear stories about how WS's fail at life after they screw around on their spouse.


I was in an LT relationship with a woman in college. Turned out to be a serial cheater. She to this day, (35 years) tries to get back in touch with me. Oddly enough, only when her marriage has failed or is failing. I believe she is on husband #4 now and posted a love note on one of my social pages just a few weeks ago. Gee, I can't imagine why her marriages keep blowing up.

I definitely dodged a bullet on that one.


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## Spotthedeaddog

bankshot1993 said:


> Ugh is right. I get to wondering which one causes more trauma, your imagination running wild and thinking up the worst or seeing just plain old vanilla sex with your own eyes.


yeah, Dumb way to design a brain ... prioritise _anything_ that has massive emotion impact, and write it in to pathways so deep that it's near impossible to ignore or reconcile (thus either reliving it, re-writing it, or in some cases completely compartmentalising it out of existance!)


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## Whip Morgan

bandit.45 said:


> But this was the saddest I have ever seen:
> 
> Ex-deputy who caught wife, father together pleads guilty to assault | Deseret News


I remember this story. Remember seeing that the betrayed husband "reconciled" with the cheating wife, and the OM (dad) is still with the mother. This was a while ago, so things may have changed.


----------



## Hantei

This story was in all local newspapers few month ago. Some insurance (or finances, don't remember) New Zealand married exec and his young subordinate enter the office room and starting to get busy. The street facing wall is a panoramic window, the room is lit, it's dark outside so they think they have privacy. Wrong, it's a see through the outside and people at the pub across the road have a perfect 1st row seat view of the whole romp. Some of them recorded the show and put it on Internet. 

The girl is engaged and lives with her fiance who next morning is woken up by the story in the news and all his friends calling him and sending him YouTube links "hey your gf is live". In the radio interview after that he told that they were separated at the time (lied to save his face), that she's a good girl (sic!) and that he moved out next day.


----------



## bandit.45

Whip Morgan said:


> I remember this story. Remember seeing that the betrayed husband "reconciled" with the cheating wife, and the OM (dad) is still with the mother. This was a while ago, so things may have changed.


No I do not think they reconciled. He has a Facebook page with a pic of him and his boys, but not the wife.


----------



## Whip Morgan

Hantei, I saw that story also, but where was it talked about that the fiance lied and that they weren't separated? I never came across anything saying that. Just curious


----------



## Hantei

Whip Morgan said:


> Hantei, I saw that story also, but where was it talked about that the fiance lied and that they weren't separated? I never came across anything saying that. Just curious


1st is the logic. He claimed they separated yet they were living together and he moved out as soon as he learned. Doesn't sound to me like they have been separated already. Lied is probably a strong word, trying to save face is the right one.

2nd there was an interview with her (or her mum don't remember) - after she moved back to UK. Didn't sound like they've been separated. 

3rd - grapevine. Know a person who knew their colleague. Been told the engagement/ marriage was called off.

So it's my interpretation FWIW if you like.


----------



## GuyInColorado

bandit.45 said:


> No I do not think they reconciled. He has a Facebook page with a pic of him and his boys, but not the wife.


His wife was hot...

https://www.facebook.com/CurtAutryN...2180135872024/492806237476077/?type=3&theater

Maybe she didn't like the beard?


----------



## Palodyne

I'm in the same boat as YESWECAN. I unknowingly walked into a restaurant while my now ex fiancé was on a date with another man. I noticed them sitting at a table and saw them kiss. I approached the table and tried to hit him, overturned the table. It was a mess. 

Apparently she must have been dating him behind my back for a while, because she left latter that night with him to Kentucky and married him. I had a friend tell me a few years latter that they divorced, but I have no clue why. I guess it was easier to hide things back then, we were an item from 1987-1990, there were no smart phones and tablets and laptops, plus we lived in neighboring towns 16 miles apart.


----------



## Marduk

My buddy caught his GF cheating. It was an on again/off again kinda deal, high school sweetheart, you know the deal. But he loved her.

He was staying at a place he rented out with his buddies, walked into the bathroom during a party, and there was his GF bent over the sink with some dude pounding away. She just looked at him in shock, he flipped her the bird, and he walked out.

They came running out a few minutes later, we kept them apart, but he told the guy "you can have her, just get the hell out of my house!" And she ended up crying under the kitchen table and wouldn't leave.

Anyway. Call it 5 years later, we're both married and having our first kids. He comes over with his wife and kids like we always would do and he says "listen man, remember X? She's a stripper now and performing at [local sleazy peeler parlour]. My buddy told me."

And we all burst out laughing and our wives told us that we should go see her. So we did.

And we sat there in gyno row (the front seats) and laughed at her as she performed her act, and then ran off the stage. We finished our beer and left, going home to our wives and kids.

And that was that.


----------



## bandit.45

GuyInColorado said:


> His wife was hot...
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/CurtAutryN...2180135872024/492806237476077/?type=3&theater
> 
> Maybe she didn't like the beard?


He was an undercover narcotics officer posing as biker scum. The beard was his disguise.


----------



## Thor

I personally know three men who have walked in on their wives in the act with OM. All the men are pilots, btw. This is why pilots joke that if they are off early (like a cancelled flight) to call home so the wife's boyfriend has time to leave.

Husband #1 had a cancelled round trip and arrived home 6 hours early. Caught his wife in the marital bed with OM. He left her immediately and divorced her.

Husband #2 caught his wife giving her OM, a neighbor and friend of husband, a bj in the bathroom during a social event. Wife thought he was going to be busy outside for a while but hubby needed something from the bathroom closet. I guess wifey liked risky sex and didn't lock the bathroom door. Hubby got to see his wife with a mouthful of his friend's manhood.

Husband #3 caught his wife in the marital bed with her longtime AP. They'd been married 25 years. She was a flight attendant, he a senior captain, OM a flight attendant. Hubby dropped part of a trip to come home early to spend time with his wife. She'd been buddy bidding trips with OM for a decade, unbeknownst to her pilot husband. Hubby was shattered, now divorced.


----------



## Truthseeker1

Thor said:


> I personally know three men who have walked in on their wives in the act with OM. All the men are pilots, btw. This is why pilots joke that if they are off early (like a cancelled flight) to call home so the wife's boyfriend has time to leave.
> 
> Husband #1 had a cancelled round trip and arrived home 6 hours early. Caught his wife in the marital bed with OM. He left her immediately and divorced her.
> 
> Husband #2 caught his wife giving her OM, a neighbor and friend of husband, a bj in the bathroom during a social event. Wife thought he was going to be busy outside for a while but hubby needed something from the bathroom closet. I guess wifey liked risky sex and didn't lock the bathroom door. Hubby got to see his wife with a mouthful of his friend's manhood.
> 
> Husband #3 caught his wife in the marital bed with her longtime AP. They'd been married 25 years. She was a flight attendant, he a senior captain, OM a flight attendant. Hubby dropped part of a trip to come home early to spend time with his wife. She'd been buddy bidding trips with OM for a decade, unbeknownst to her pilot husband. Hubby was shattered, now divorced.


Wow those 3 POS wives sound like real catches....did hubby # 2 stay with her?


----------



## Thor

Truthseeker1 said:


> Wow those 3 POS wives sound like real catches....did hubby # 2 stay with her?


Nope, divorced toot sweet. Sorry I forgot to put that in there.

Hubby #1 was crushed. He moved, changed jobs, and had really moved on to a good new life. Then he was killed in a freak accident. His slvt wife's cheating was therefore a direct causal factor in the chain of events leading to his young death.

Hubby #2 was devastated and was really messed up for a few years. He has since remarried and is happy, apparently.

Hubby #3 was beyond devastated. Lots of self recriminations for being such a stooge. As he said to me, he had nearly unlimited opportunities to cheat on her for their entire marriage, but he never even got close to crossing the line. And then he found out she'd been in a decade long affair. He had no clue it was going on.

I've got numerous other cheating wife-of-pilot stories. I've even been propositioned by a fellow pilot's wife a few years back.


----------



## Truthseeker1

Thor said:


> Nope, divorced toot sweet. Sorry I forgot to put that in there.
> 
> Hubby #1 was crushed. He moved, changed jobs, and had really moved on to a good new life. Then he was killed in a freak accident. His slvt wife's cheating was therefore a direct causal factor in the chain of events leading to his young death.
> 
> Hubby #2 was devastated and was really messed up for a few years. He has since remarried and is happy, apparently.
> 
> Hubby #3 was beyond devastated. Lots of self recriminations for being such a stooge. As he said to me, he had nearly unlimited opportunities to cheat on her for their entire marriage, but he never even got close to crossing the line. And then he found out she'd been in a decade long affair. He had no clue it was going on.
> 
> I've got numerous other cheating wife-of-pilot stories. I've even been propositioned by a fellow pilot's wife a few years back.


How is hubby # 3 doing now?


----------



## Thor

Truthseeker1 said:


> How is hubby # 3 doing now?


Last I heard they were divorcing. I haven't spoken to him in person about how he is doing.


----------



## Truthseeker1

Thor said:


> Last I heard they were divorcing. I haven't spoken to him in person about how he is doing.


A 10 year affair has to bew devastating..the one thing he can hang on to is a person capable of that kind of immorality really is someone you want to be faraway from..shes not a good person...


----------



## bandit.45

Thor said:


> Last I heard they were divorcing. I haven't spoken to him in person about how he is doing.


I hope he's laying pipe like an oil rig with other women.


----------



## Thinkitthrough

Not quite walking in on them, but found a collection of pictures of my wife and her AP and 15 pages of emails of them telling each other how great they were in bed and some videos of the AP masturbating (Ugh). The affair had ended some two years earlier when the AP died of a massive heart attack on his daughter's birthday (he was divorced). I decided not to do anything for a year after discovery, and have born it out another 8 months, but I am still on the fence. 

Which brings me to my story. I worked with a man who managed events for a large venue here (we both had needed second jobs and it was at that job where I met him). It was a large wedding and the parents of the bride had put a lot of money into the very fancy wedding and party. One of the things the groom had asked for was six stands for paintings. The pictures, draped and sealed an set up behind and off to the side of the head table. When the time came for the groom to make a little speech about his bride he said something to the effect of instead of speaking he would show them pictures that would be little demonstrations his new wife's devotion and love. He revealed the first picture, of his wife and the best man making out, second, taking their clothes off, then foreplay, the fourth of course the penetration and the last two didn't matter really. The groom had come home early about a week before the wedding and caught his fiancé and his best man. He didn't say a thing after that, just walked out of the venue. Apparently the bride, and her family chased him and begged him not to leave, but he did, and filed for an annulment on the first business day later. The wife's family were, of course on the hook for the cost of the wedding. http://cdn.talkaboutmarriage.net/images/TAMarriage_2015/icons/post_face_angry.png


----------



## GusPolinski

Eh... that seems pretty unbelievable.

Still, it's pretty funny.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray

bandit.45 said:


> But Mexican wedding receptions are the best. There is always a fight near the end when everyone is plastered. Mexican boys loooooooove to fight.


One time I had to go to the ER on a Saturday night. While I'm there, a group of drunk, roughed up Mexican guys come in. Apparently there was a wedding reception, and once the couple left, the two families got into it with each other. Shortly after that, the other side's wounded showed up. They try to mix it up in the ER.

Security was called, the cops show up... a bunch of guys end up cuffed and stuffed.


----------



## ConanHub

At a church I use to attend, a deacon walked into a classroom where his wife of over 20 years was making out with one of her assistants. I was her other assistant and always thought something was wrong with her and reported her several times.

The church staff and pastors did nothing.

Her husband divorced her. She was relieved of duty and the pastor paid me a visit to apologize.

I would probably act without thought if I saw a man having sex or making out with my wife. Shouldn't cross some lines ya know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rzmpf

I didn't catch my XGF myself, I got "live coverage" of her making out at a club and leaving with her OM in a cab. A colleague recognized her and called me with pictures and videos of them. She was supposed to visit her sick mother for the weekend. Well I had Saturday night and Sunday till afternoon to pack all her stuff and when she came home I kicked her crying cheating a$$ out.

There is a thread here asking if the BS is the lucky one. In that case I feel I was extremely lucky. Didn't get her pregnant, didn't buy a apartment/house with her (we were working on both things). Dodged the bullets.


----------



## bankshot1993

Thinkitthrough said:


> Not quite walking in on them, but found a collection of pictures of my wife and her AP and 15 pages of emails of them telling each other how great they were in bed and some videos of the AP masturbating (Ugh). The affair had ended some two years earlier when the AP died of a massive heart attack on his daughter's birthday (he was divorced). I decided not to do anything for a year after discovery, and have born it out another 8 months, but I am still on the fence.
> 
> Which brings me to my story. I worked with a man who managed events for a large venue here (we both had needed second jobs and it was at that job where I met him). It was a large wedding and the parents of the bride had put a lot of money into the very fancy wedding and party. One of the things the groom had asked for was six stands for paintings. The pictures, draped and sealed an set up behind and off to the side of the head table. When the time came for the groom to make a little speech about his bride he said something to the effect of instead of speaking he would show them pictures that would be little demonstrations his new wife's devotion and love. He revealed the first picture, of his wife and the best man making out, second, taking their clothes off, then foreplay, the fourth of course the penetration and the last two didn't matter really. The groom had come home early about a week before the wedding and caught his fiancé and his best man. He didn't say a thing after that, just walked out of the venue. Apparently the bride, and her family chased him and begged him not to leave, but he did, and filed for an annulment on the first business day later. The wife's family were, of course on the hook for the cost of the wedding. http://cdn.talkaboutmarriage.net/images/TAMarriage_2015/icons/post_face_angry.png



Now that is exposure. I think I have a new hero.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 86857

I had a job once doing real estate editorial on houses for sale for a newspaper. 
The photographer & I used to meet the realtor at the house & he/she would take us through. 
One day a realtor was taking us through a house & opened the door to the master bedroom. 
There was a couple in the bed & all we could see was the guy's naked bottom. Not pretty. 
The couple stopped & stared at us & we 3 stared back at them. All 5 of us just kinda froze. 
The realtor then quickly closed the door and whispered, 
"Let’s get out of here. He’s not her husband." 
The photographer & I joked later that he should have taken a photo & sent it to BS in the mail.


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## Joe75

Years ago, in a primitive time of no internet and electronic devices, I was returning from an overseas business trip. The chartered aircraft broke down causing myself and my colleagues to wait at a semi-isolated airfield for two days while repairs were being made. Finally, with very short notice, we departed late in the afternoon of the second day. Due to our late arrival, we could not land at the intended airport and were diverted to another airport arriving at 3 AM. A bus took us on the final leg home - approximately a three-hour drive. Thus, loved ones, etc. were unaware that we had re-commenced the air flight nor what time we would be arriving home.

Sometime after 6 AM, with the sun arising, we were approaching our final destination. The bus driver, as a courtesy, started to drop folks off along the way. Prior to arriving at the intended stop, the driver drove through a nearby neighbourhood. One of the ‘drop-off’ passenger asked the driver if he would please wait for a few minutes. His home was a single level dwelling with a carport attached to one side. He walked into the carport and put his travel bag on one of the steps leading up to the side entrance door. Then he walked around to the front door and open it and with a load voice proclaimed “honey, I’m home” and then went in. Seconds later the side door open with a loud bang with another man emerging in a rush, trying to pull up his pants. Not seeing the travel bag, he tripped over it landing very hard on the paved driveway rolling several times. He was last seen running into a nearby park sans pants.

The passenger emerged from his home, retrieved his travel bag, and returned to the bus. He calmly thanked the driver for waiting and asked to be taken to a named hotel. The rest of us on the bus were speechless. 

Joe75


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## stephscarlett

These are all such chance occurrences!! How much infidelity is never discovered???


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## GusPolinski

stephscarlett said:


> These are all such chance occurrences!! How much infidelity is never discovered???


Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Some studies suggest that the majority of affairs (which I'm guessing would mean > 50%) are never discovered.

It's a miracle that anyone trusts anyone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45

GusPolinski said:


> Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
> 
> Some studies suggest that the majority of affairs (which I'm guessing would mean > 50%) are never discovered.
> 
> It's a miracle that anyone trusts anyone.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Makes you wonder how many men unknowingly raise children who are not theirs.


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## GusPolinski

bandit.45 said:


> Makes you wonder how many men unknowingly raise children who are not theirs.


Dude.

For reals.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy

It actually happened right in front of me.....

Check this out, Me and the old lady are standing in a bar with a room full of people, some were my coworkers, some were regulars and some were random patrons.
I'm standing next to my old lady and talking shop with a coworker who is standing directly across from me. 
This random guy stands in front of my old lady and leans and kisses her.
I pull the guy off and catch his jaw with my fist. the guy steps back and comes in to fight and then everyone graps the both of us and I hear everyone yelling "that's her husband"...
The guy gets pulled away and leaves.

Now...did this guy know my old lady? Was it one of her lovers? Was it as random as my old lady made it out to be? Some drunk doing stupid shyt?

Well to this day she tells me it was random...even though she has admitted to all the rest of her bull shyt she still claims not to know this guy. And yes her admission is part of this kind of shyt happening...but a lone and with out me to step in.

My conclusion is that yes this guy may have seen this behavior happen before and decided to have a try....but this time I was there.....it stands to reason why everyone started yelling "that's her husband"? IDK!

I really wanted to go back to my old ways and hit her....it was not long after this that I started to look in to what had become of my old lady. All of this shyt was the most darkest times in my life.


----------



## Thor

bandit.45 said:


> Makes you wonder how many men unknowingly raise children who are not theirs.


About 1 in 17 children is raised by such a man according to various studies. Throw in some uncertainty due to the nature of the subject and the difficulty of accurately measuring such a thing, and you still end up with a whole bunch.

Studies I've seen show it cuts across all socio-economic lines, and in fact the longer the marriage and the more kids in the family, the higher the chance that any one child in the family is from an OM, and the husband doesn't know it isn't his.


----------



## GusPolinski

Came across this joke not long ago...

An elderly man has the following conversation w/ his wife --

"Dear, we've been married for over 50 wonderful years. Looking back, there's something that's been bothering me for decades...

Tommy, our youngest, has never looked anything like any of our other nine children. Does he have a different father?"

Visibly shaken, the wife answers: "Yes."

Working hard to maintain his bearings, the husband works up the nerve to ask, "Who?"

To which his wife responds...

"You."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## snerg

Thinkitthrough said:


> Not quite walking in on them, but found a collection of pictures of my wife and her AP and 15 pages of emails of them telling each other how great they were in bed and some videos of the AP masturbating (Ugh). The affair had ended some two years earlier when the AP died of a massive heart attack on his daughter's birthday (he was divorced). I decided not to do anything for a year after discovery, and have born it out another 8 months, but I am still on the fence.
> 
> Which brings me to my story. I worked with a man who managed events for a large venue here (we both had needed second jobs and it was at that job where I met him). It was a large wedding and the parents of the bride had put a lot of money into the very fancy wedding and party. One of the things the groom had asked for was six stands for paintings. The pictures, draped and sealed an set up behind and off to the side of the head table. When the time came for the groom to make a little speech about his bride he said something to the effect of instead of speaking he would show them pictures that would be little demonstrations his new wife's devotion and love. He revealed the first picture, of his wife and the best man making out, second, taking their clothes off, then foreplay, the fourth of course the penetration and the last two didn't matter really. The groom had come home early about a week before the wedding and caught his fiancé and his best man. He didn't say a thing after that, just walked out of the venue. Apparently the bride, and her family chased him and begged him not to leave, but he did, and filed for an annulment on the first business day later. The wife's family were, of course on the hook for the cost of the wedding. http://cdn.talkaboutmarriage.net/images/TAMarriage_2015/icons/post_face_angry.png




Saw that in a movie


----------



## GusPolinski

snerg said:


> Saw that in a movie


I remember someone posting that a while back. Actually thought of it while I was reading that last reply.

Hilarious.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## arbitrator

Thinkitthrough said:


> Not quite walking in on them, but found a collection of pictures of my wife and her AP and 15 pages of emails of them telling each other how great they were in bed and some videos of the AP masturbating (Ugh). The affair had ended some two years earlier when the AP died of a massive heart attack on his daughter's birthday (he was divorced). I decided not to do anything for a year after discovery, and have born it out another 8 months, but I am still on the fence.
> 
> Which brings me to my story. I worked with a man who managed events for a large venue here (we both had needed second jobs and it was at that job where I met him). It was a large wedding and the parents of the bride had put a lot of money into the very fancy wedding and party. One of the things the groom had asked for was six stands for paintings. The pictures, draped and sealed an set up behind and off to the side of the head table. When the time came for the groom to make a little speech about his bride he said something to the effect of instead of speaking he would show them pictures that would be little demonstrations his new wife's devotion and love. He revealed the first picture, of his wife and the best man making out, second, taking their clothes off, then foreplay, the fourth of course the penetration and the last two didn't matter really. The groom had come home early about a week before the wedding and caught his fiancé and his best man. He didn't say a thing after that, just walked out of the venue. Apparently the bride, and her family chased him and begged him not to leave, but he did, and filed for an annulment on the first business day later. The wife's family were, of course on the hook for the cost of the wedding. http://cdn.talkaboutmarriage.net/images/TAMarriage_2015/icons/post_face_angry.png


*I absolutely love it! 

His "bride's" picture should be posted up in Webster's Dictionaty under the word, "skank" ~ except for one minor problem ~ my RSXW's photo has been copyrighted by the Webster's family and is in usage there already!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rzmpf

Thor said:


> About 1 in 17 children is raised by such a man according to various studies. Throw in some uncertainty due to the nature of the subject and the difficulty of accurately measuring such a thing, and you still end up with a whole bunch.
> 
> Studies I've seen show it cuts across all socio-economic lines, and in fact the longer the marriage and the more kids in the family, the higher the chance that any one child in the family is from an OM, and the husband doesn't know it isn't his.


IIrc newer studies show the number to be between 1-2%. Sounds not much but if you put in perspective it means that in the US about 40.000 to 80.000 kids are born annually whose father is not the man who thinks he fathered them. (and I would think that in the past the rate was higher, people had more children and less to no birth control available)


----------



## syhoybenden

bandit.45 said:


> Makes you wonder how many men unknowingly raise children who are not theirs.



I've seen a figure of 5% (of children) bandied about purportedly from a U.S. study done in the 1990's.


----------



## SasZ79

snerg said:


> Saw that in a movie


The movie was: The Art of Travel.


----------



## bandit.45

SasZ79 said:


> The movie was: The Art of Travel.


Yes that was it. 

It was actually a very good independent film.


----------



## RWB

10 years ago I was taking family vacation on N. Captiva Island off the coast of Ft. Meyers. We went to this island restaurant about 20 miles out in the gulf and only accessable by boat. It's the place Jimmy Buffet wrote about (cheeseburger in paradise). Sitting across from us is this guy I knew from church at home (1000 miles away). I say hey Jim, are you and Janet down here vacationing?

He recognizes me and starts to get up to leave, just as this blond walks up and kisses him, not Janet. Busted 1000 miles from home on an island no bigger than a football field.


----------



## 3putt

RWB said:


> 10 years ago I was taking family vacation on N. Captiva Island off the coast of Ft. Meyers. *We went to this island restaurant about 20 miles out in the gulf and only accessable by boat. *It's the place Jimmy Buffet wrote about (cheeseburger in paradise). Sitting across from us is this guy I knew from church at home (1000 miles away). I say hey Jim, are you and Janet down here vacationing?
> 
> He recognizes me and starts to get up to leave, just as this blond walks up and kisses him, not Janet. Busted 1000 miles from home on an island no bigger than a football field.


You must be talking about Cabbage Key. One of these days I'm going to do the houseboat vacation in that area.


----------



## RWB

3putt said:


> You must be talking about Cabbage Key. One of these days I'm going to do the houseboat vacation in that area.


Yep,

*Cabbage Key...*

http://rumshopryan.com/wp-content/uploads//2012/03/Cabbage-Key-Header.jpg

I remember they had a menu, but everyone just orders a Cheese Burger and a Margarita. Go figure. :smile2:

Now for a bit of Irony... My wife and I are sitting their in the restaurant after Jim and his GF make a quick retreat. My wife had gone to college with wife Janet and were still friends. I asked her if she was going to tell Janet when we returned home. *Strange... *she doesn't want to discuss it, none of her business, never brings it up again, acts very cold to me the remainder of vacation.

Years later, I find out she was cheating on me with her Boss (Principal) the during this time.


----------



## 3putt

RWB said:


> Yep,
> 
> *Cabbage Key...*
> 
> http://rumshopryan.com/wp-content/uploads//2012/03/Cabbage-Key-Header.jpg
> 
> I remember they had a menu, but everyone just orders a Cheese Burger and a Margarita. Go figure. :smile2:
> 
> Now for a bit of Irony... My wife and I are sitting their in the restaurant after Jim and his GF make a quick retreat. My wife had gone to college with wife Janet and were still friends. I asked her if she was going to tell Janet when we returned home. *Strange... *she doesn't want to discuss it, none of her business, never brings it up again, acts very cold to me the remainder of vacation.
> 
> Years later, I find out she was cheating on me with her Boss (Principal) the during this time.


Good Lord


----------



## larry.gray

RWB said:


> Now for a bit of Irony... My wife and I are sitting their in the restaurant after Jim and his GF make a quick retreat. My wife had gone to college with wife Janet and were still friends. I asked her if she was going to tell Janet when we returned home. *Strange... *she doesn't want to discuss it, none of her business, never brings it up again, acts very cold to me the remainder of vacation.
> 
> Years later, I find out she was cheating on me with her Boss (Principal) the during this time.


I swear that's a freaking tell. I've seen that story repeated in my personal life too many times.

If a man or woman doesn't want to rat out a cheater when they are someone the betrayed trusts, it should be a reason to completely lose trust in them.


----------



## husbandfool

Not quite the same but, when I was seriously dating a woman years back it happened to me. We had met in grief counseling after each of us had lost our spouses. We were both single parents in our 40s. We ended up dating and getting serious. After a year and a half she was really pushing to get married. I wasn't quite ready yet to tie the knot. Anyway, one day I asked if she wanted to spend a Saturday in the city seeing a flower show. She turned it down saying she had made plans to visit her parents.

So, I wake up Sunday morning to my cell phone with about 5 voice messages from her. It turns out she had left her kids with her parents Friday and had spent the weekend staying at one of those weekend resort deals on Cape Cod with some guy. Saturday night at dinner she had accidentally but-dialed my phone and my voice mail was full of recordings of their dinner conversations.
Lots of lovey-dovey talk including jokes and laughter about me. She returned home Sunday evening and called to see how my weekend had gone and let's get together tomorrow for lunch. 
I broke the news at lunch and lots of denials until I played one call back. The look on her face was priceless.

I ended it right there but she pursued real hard for months afterward.

Glad I dodged that bullet!

That was 15 years ago. Now I can laugh about it.


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## CMD1978

My husband caught his college girlfriend in bed with one of his buddies at her apartment. He went ballistic and ended up in jail due to absolutely trashing her place (furniture through the window style) and putting the other guy in the hospital. He was stoned at the time or I seriously doubt he would have reacted quite that violently.

He took it really hard. I remember him telling me it was probably a good thing he ended up in jail because he was d*mn near suicidal for a while afterward. He was really crazy about her. Based on the way he talks about her (even now more than 20 years later) I'm not sure he's ever loved me as much as he loved her.


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## bandit.45

husbandfool said:


> I ended it right there but she pursued real hard for months afterward.
> 
> Glad I dodged that bullet!
> 
> That was 15 years ago. Now I can laugh about it.


Why would she pursue you if she didn't care enough about you to not cheat on you? 

I never will get it. I just can't understand that mindset. What a fvcked up person. 

I'm glad you shoved that recording up her ass.


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## rzmpf

bandit.45 said:


> Why would she pursue you if she didn't care enough about you to not cheat on you?
> 
> I never will get it. I just can't understand that mindset. What a fvcked up person.
> 
> I'm glad you shoved that recording up her ass.


Isn't that quite obvious? She chose him to be her moron who should marry and support her cheating a$$ (financially/emotionally or however). The other man was for fun, not marriage material. It was basically the typical affair. The "serious"/nice dude can sit at home while she goes around effing. The other dude surely ran for the hills when she talked about marrying her. Plan A (Affair +/- boyfriend/husband) didn't work, so she tried for plan B (boyfriend/husband). Basic mindset of a cheater.


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## bandit.45

rzmpf said:


> Isn't that quite obvious? She chose him to be her moron who should marry and support her cheating a$$ (financially/emotionally or however). The other man was for fun, not marriage material. It was basically the typical affair. The "serious"/nice dude can sit at home while she goes around effing. The other dude surely ran for the hills when she talked about marrying her. Plan A (Affair +/- boyfriend/husband) didn't work, so she tried for plan B (boyfriend/husband). Basic mindset of a cheater.


It's more than that. It is a retrograde moral compass that she and so many other entitled cheaters have. It is epidemic in its scale. Like a virus.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Divinely Favored

I had a GF when I was 23 and she was 34 yr old divorcee. Looked like the red head on CSI Las Vegas. To this day I tell my boys to run if a red head gets friendly. Any who....I was a boytoy in that woman's world. I was smitten as I waited looking for The One till I was 22 the first time.

I got to where I did not want sex because it was every day...I felt like a piece of meat. One night she tried to loan me to her 35 yr old brunette nurse bff. Bff came in the room in a black Teddy but because I am loyal and monogamous i declined. Red acted happy saying she gets me all to herself.

During this time we went to eat Chinese and she got a fortune that read, "Lovers in triangle, not on square"

Later my truck broke down and I was replacing the head gasket at my bunk house on the refuge. Spoke to her on phone and they were going to The Scene. Before I hung up I said "love ya." She got quiet and said why did you say that then hung up.

I fixed my truck and drove to her house around 1am and she was sitting on the couch with another guy. I just left. I was angry and hurt. The next weekend I took the 35 yr old nurse bff home....I was hoping it would bother red. But she did not care...that hurt more. 

Would have been better off letting Jade fix me up with Cheyenne from the Lucky Lady Saloon.Then again I could not let a GF take her clothes off for other guys


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## Dyokemm

rzmpf said:


> IIrc newer studies show the number to be between 1-2%. Sounds not much but if you put in perspective it means that in the US about 40.000 to 80.000 kids are born annually whose father is not the man who thinks he fathered them. (and I would think that in the past the rate was higher, people had more children and less to no birth control available)


Statistics like this are precisely why DNA testing/confirmation should be mandatory at time of birth.

Paternity fraud should be treated like the serious crime it is.


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## ThePheonix

CMD1978 said:


> Based on the way he talks about her (even now more than 20 years later) I'm not sure he's ever loved me as much as he loved her.


As hard as it is, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Men always feel a sense of defeat over the one that rejected them and long to regain their lost ego. It really doesn't indicate he loves her. Take my word for it.


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## Maxo

stephscarlett said:


> oh, I forgot to add I heard it all too. I put a VAR in his car AND had him followed by a PI on the same day. Eureka!
> They had made out earlier, after going out to lunch. The next day after I caught him I locked myself in the bathroom and listened to it - sickening.
> He's never asked me to lunch, made out with me at the golf course and then asked to see me again because he HAD to see me and made out with me a couple hours later in the park.
> Well, now this thread is getting me pissed.
> I better go.


Do you think your having already cheated played a role in his deciding to cheat?


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## Maxo

GuyInColorado said:


> His wife was hot...
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/CurtAutryN...2180135872024/492806237476077/?type=3&theater
> 
> Maybe she didn't like the beard?


Hot? You need to get out more.


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## Maxo

EI said:


> They're still together, and last I heard, she was learning to fly, as well.


How sad.


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## Marc878

Maxo said:


> How sad.


The bad part was he had OM on his knees crying and begging not to tell his wife. So no exposure and a week later he's banging the wife on her desk in her office. Big mistake!!!!


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## Maxo

Marc878 said:


> The bad part was he had OM on his knees crying and begging not to tell his wife. So no exposure and a week later he's banging the wife on her desk in her office. Big mistake!!!!


 Doormat plus,I guess.


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## stephscarlett

Maxo, yes. doesnt have much to do with catching him though..,


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## Maxo

stephscarlett said:


> Maxo, yes. doesnt have much to do with catching him though..,


True. How was your cheating discovered? If he did not catch you in the act,do you wonder if his imagining what you.were doing is just as difficult?


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## BetrayedDad

I didn't see it but I heard it on a VAR.

I already knew she was cheating at the time but wasn't planning to tell her I knew until marriage counseling on Monday. I was going to a wedding that weekend and she was supposed to attend with me but told her to stay home because I just wanted to be alone. She didn't know I knew. I planted a VAR in my bedroom to see if she would screw the OM in my bed. Suffice it to say, she didn't disappoint... Come to find out it was the second time she had the OM in my house (months prior I had been a baseball game.)

It sounded pretty boring. 5 mins of kissing, 5 mins of pumping and that was it. Though they did it twice a few hours apart. She never found out I recorded her and I've since thrown the recording out. It bothered me for a very long time, like other's have said you can't unhear it, but not much anymore. I think time, and screwing plenty of girls myself since the divorce (with far better sex I might add), has softened the blow dramatically LOL. She was always pretty boring in bed anyway.


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## BetrayedDad

GusPolinski said:


> Some studies suggest that the majority of affairs (which I'm guessing would mean > 50%) are never discovered.


At least... this sound conservative to me based on life experience.

I'd say it's at least 75%, probably higher, instances that are never discovered.

Also if I had to wager, I'd say it's 20% of the people doing 80% of the cheating.


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## stephscarlett

Maxo said:


> True. How was your cheating discovered? If he did not catch you in the act,do you wonder if his imagining what you.were doing is just as difficult?


I confessed.
really doubt it.


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## alexm

I have a good friend who had been married less than a year, and had a 6 month old. She found a video camera one her dresser drawer one afternoon, and didn't recognize it - wasn't hers. Turned it on, watched the tape in hopes of figuring out who it belonged to. There was her husband banging some girl in their bed.

I remember her telling me this story, and she said the first thing he tried to tell her was that tape was old, before they got together. Her immediate response was "that's our bed". He wasn't the brightest guy. They divorced, quickly.

I almost caught my ex wife, though I didn't know it at the time. I was driving home one day, and as soon as I got to my street, I remembered I had to do something-or-other and turned around. Noticed a mutual friend's Jeep parked in front of our house and, stupid me, thought nothing of it. He came over fairly frequently to hang out with us, and as he worked nearby, he'd often just stop in. A lot of the time it was just me there, and we'd have a beer and hang out. Sometimes my ex wife would be there, too.

My radar literally did not go off on this. :surprise:

By the time I got back, maybe 15 or 20 minutes later, the Jeep was gone. My ex wife was home. I told her I was sorry I missed so-and-so, and I remember her being surprised I knew he was there. I told her I was almost home, but forgot whatever it was I forgot, and turned around. In retrospect, she was probably extremely relieved.

I only learned about the things they did after we split up. Months after, in fact.

Funny thing (if you can call it that) was that she was seeing the other, other man at the time. The guy she *actually* left me for, and eventually married. I didn't know about him, either, but he also didn't live in the same city, so I don't feel so stupid about that one!

I did send the new husband a nice, short email not long after they got married... AFAIK, they're still together, though, so I guess she weaseled her way out that one.


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## Maxo

stephscarlett said:


> I confessed.
> really doubt it.


So,you feel there is a chance ( especially if yours was the first instance of cheating,thus setting the stage)?


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## stephscarlett

Maxo said:


> So,you feel there is a chance ( especially if yours was the first instance of cheating,thus setting the stage)?


a chance for? him having mind movies? Of course.. I'm sure he does. Not sure I can judge if it is bad as seeing the live show though. 
it's my opinion that no one sets the stage for someone else's cheating. That would be giving someone else way too much power in your life.


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