# Husband acting funny



## hulagirl (Mar 5, 2008)

Hi..I'm new to this forum and i hope to gain some help and understanding to improve my marriage since there are my issues I am dealing with. 

I've been having a gut feeling that my husband is cheating on me, or I could be totally wrong and just paranoid. 

My husband is away on business. Last night, he called me and I told him that I will call him back since I was busy doing some apt. chores to finish. So when I called him he was saying how sleepy/tired and how he sould just get to sleep, so I let him go. While 1 hr later, I find him online (on facebook), so I picked up my phone and called him and asked him about it and he denied it until he admitted it after I asked him many times. Then he just started to say how I should not be making him feel guilty just because was just going to bed etc and checking his emails. Then he turned the story around on me, saying how he is being controlled and that he should rethink this over and then hejust hang up on me. I tried calling him after the hang up bu he didnt pick up so I stopped calling him then. 

(Fyi, he has this tendency of hanging up on me on the phone pretending few days later as if nothing has happened)

I feel like I am being lied to and something tells me that he is up to something, and I hope that Im wrong about it. Im having a hard time focusing, what I did by confronting was is right on my behalf? What do you think? Am I overreacting?


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

No one likes a snope or having their privacy invaded. When you put people where they have to defend themselves they will. How would you feel if he opened all your email?

On the other side there is always ways to catch a cheater if he is one.

draconis


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## mshajny (Mar 19, 2008)

my husband is also away for work.. i know exactly what your going through. dont expect the worse is going on unless you find him doing something that is out right wrong; he may just want some time to himself.


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## jetman (Mar 18, 2008)

hulagirl said:


> Hi..I'm new to this forum and i hope to gain some help and understanding to improve my marriage since there are my issues I am dealing with.
> 
> I've been having a gut feeling that my husband is cheating on me, or I could be totally wrong and just paranoid.
> 
> ...





> I feel like I am being lied to and something tells me that he is up to something,


Explain the word feel

These insecurities come deep from within. On the surface it may not seem that’s the case but if you go deeper it may be.

The more insecure you seem the farther you will drive him away. That's assuming he feels secure with who he is as a person.

Belief has a way of creating the reality. If your emotions are betraying by saying “I am not good enough for him" it may eventually come true.

He married you so obviously he thought you were good enough. If in the end he does betray the burden is on him.
Don’t be shy about seeking counseling. The reality is few people operate at 100%


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## valium (Sep 22, 2008)

Hi there

Not sure about this one but understand where you are coming from. Try and put this out of your mind as there could be nothing in it. When he comes back speak to him about what happened and how you feel about it. Just explain that you were surprised to find him on face book after saying he was going to bed etc.

But I would say keep your eye open and see if anything else changes.


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## Ohio Girl (Oct 25, 2009)

Sounds like there is something going on there. Always trust your gut feelings.


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## bob_sacamano (Oct 25, 2009)

I have worked out of town and know what it's like. I would guess he just didn't want to talk on the phone and didn't really know how to tell you other than saying he was tired. I have done the same thing and just sit there and watch some TV for an hour or so. How would you feel if he said "I don't want to talk on the phone now. I want to surf web and check my emails."?


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## variety (Sep 6, 2009)

I do believe we all need to improve how we communicate with each other. ** This does not improve with age. **

Your husband's habit of just hanging up on you and pretending to act as if nothing has happened is not an adult behaviour. I imagine this can leave a feeling of confusion, suspicion and insecurity as well.

All valid scenarios above, so confront in a pointed way without any judgement. 

Perhaps finding a different way of communicating may help. As you both use Facebook, send him a private message ...... don't vent on it..... have a conversation.....


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## bob_sacamano (Oct 25, 2009)

That sounds like a great idea, variety. There are several ways to comm. now days other than talking on the phone.


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## Tootsiepop (Sep 7, 2009)

Your intuition is sending you red flags for a reason! Doesn't mean you're psychic and know everything, but ask yourself why you feel like something might be going on? 

Why do you feel so insecure? How is your rleationship in other ways? Are there other behaviors that are making you suspicious? Is it just a trust issue when he's out of town? How do you relate when he's home? You don't want to be paranoid, but neither do you want to be naive!


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