# a reminder



## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

Just when I thought we were going to have the most civilized divorce (collaborative) possible, my STBXH comes over and has to raise his voice. I know, no big deal compared to most, but it serves as a reminder why it is such a good decision to move on. There's no need to be rude! Believe me there is just cause for the divorce if anyone wants to read previous posts, but I now have zero tolerance for any lack of respect.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

Why does he even need to come over? And you get to decide what you take and what you don't


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## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

He apologized. It was appreciated. (He comes by to pick up mail and for our son at home)


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

everafter said:


> He apologized. It was appreciated. (He comes by to pick up mail and for our son at home)


Realistically, you're both going to get emotional from time to time. Glad to hear he apologized. But even the most civil of divorces are still very, very difficult.


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## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

You're right. Because the divorce is almost entirely due to his actions, I forget that he has emotional reactions too!


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

That is hard to remember, not sure I care about his feelings most days, since he is causing all this pain. Where did the whole thing go wrong? If you could just put your finger on it, maybe you could fix it, still trying in my head to fix this. Shouldn't 28 years together be enough reason to work harder to stay together??


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

everafter said:


> You're right. Because the divorce is almost entirely due to his actions, I forget that he has emotional reactions too!


I sense sarcasm...

Even the idiots who screw up our lives have bad days. Like those days that their conscience kicks in for a bit. Makes 'em cranky to realize they may have been wrong!


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## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

MAL: I attempted to fix it, but he incinerated that bridge. You might also find that as impossible as it is to understand the "why", he can only fix himself. 
NG: No sarcasm intended. Since we are in the process of divorcing, I get in self preservation mode--a bit self centered.


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