# young wife is untrustworthy



## DecentGuy (May 24, 2010)

Hello,

I am 25 and my wife of a year is 20....we have a baby due soon (our first) and we are currently separated. The reason we are separated is due to her lies and deceit. only a few months into our marriage, I noticed my wife keeping things from me. For example, I would drop her off at a female friend's house and she would tell me that they would drive her home after....so I go to a friend's and later head home without her... the next day, I see a text on her phone tell this guy friend (who she has saved under a female name) that she had a good time...I confronted her...and she admitted she hid him from me for months and said if I told you about hanging with him..u would over react. she admited he picked her up (just them two) from her friend's palce and they hung out until her dropped her off at 2am. Correct me if im wrong here but... coming home to ur husband at 2am with some guy friend u did not disclose is deceit...is it not? 

I also realized that...while we were dating..she lied about seeing her ex behind my back and even talking to him late at night for hours at a time...but i ended up forgiving her as she said she would stop. I regret forgiving her. 

I can honestly say I cannot trust her at all. A lil background...

wife: 

she has been caught lying at least 5-6 different time about the opposite sex during our 3 years together. (lied about emails, late night phone convos and texts, seeing ex late at night in park alone while she let him hold her hand and he tried to kiss her)
Is pregnant and does not work (student)
does not clean or cook much (i do both which im ok with due to pregnancy)
all her friends are single and influence her negatively
gets jumpy when im near her phone
keeps phone locked at all times
She is beautiful and I did fall for her for her good traits at one point.

Me:

never cheated on her...EVER! 
honest and open about everything.
work full time
come home and cook/clean
share my phone with her..as well as password
give her many compliments
give her any money she needs
give my car to go to school ...and i bus to work
never out later than 10 or 11pm when i go out once or twice a week
I dont keep female friends other than Hi/bye when i see them. makes it easier for my marriage. 

Now we have been separated for 1 month and she is due in 4 months. I really cant have her back as I do not trust her..but I am worried about our child...not sure what to do...i hate the fact the my child will be born into a broken home...PLEASE HELP!!!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Yep


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

Yeah, ditto on the paternity test. Sad and hurtful, but a reality. Good for you for leaving her. Your child will be okay. I appreciate your concern for him, but he is not the only child of a broken home. That is just to point out that children of divorce do survive, and you can make sure you are a big part of his/her life. You will have to take her to court to get regular visitation and to set up child support payments. Conversely, your only other option is to go back and stay with this woman you cannot trust. If you decide to go back for the sake of the child, you will have to disengage emotionally. Simply disconnect yourself so she cannot hurt you anymore. But remember, this kind of relationship doesn't normally work out or last long because you deserve to be loved and to fulfill your American dream of having an honest and loving family. You see you can't have that with her, but you will want it one day. Good luck in whatever you decide.


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## DecentGuy (May 24, 2010)

No...I am pretty sure the baby is mine..almost 100%. But sometimes I just ask myself why would she put herself in these situation where it seems shady?? never could answer that. 

My main concern is...well...my family keeps telling me she is not herself as the hormones are taking over due to the pregnancy. Im not sure if I can forgive her..she keeps asking me to forgive her and take her back. But i told her.."let's first have the baby and then see where things are". the reason I said this to her is because she is pregnant and I want to keep her stress levels down while we are separated...anything can harm the baby these days. then when my daughter is born...i can end is formally. What does everyone think of the senario? any advice would help.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

too young too young too young........................period.

listen guy, do as the wise folk here suggest. get yer dna

test done and strengthen yer heart if u plan to keep

up w/ this young philly.

forgiveness is great, but she needs to repent of her ways

simple as that. she has some maturing to do, obviously

but do u wanna be the one to always clean up the mess?

u have some maturing to do also, beginning w/ listening 

to yer elders, be it here or elsewhere. note i wrote elders

not yer friends or other inexperienced folk.

for there is "no voice like the voice of experience".

so until u GET wisdom, u'll be wasting alot of time, effort

and energy.

two simple suggestions:

1. don't spoil her. she can't appreciate it, it seems.
most/many cannot............so let it go.

2. don't drop her w/ friends, and u go other friends.(?)
as u say shes good lookin, so u r a big dummy for
doing so & expecting nothing to happen, am i 
right? (come on, admit it, u know it, come on) 

Protect your investment guy! girls dont mind us being
alittle jealous (just dont get carried away w/ it).

choice is yours, always..........

peace--------------------------------------------cb45


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