# Wedding rings after divorce is finished



## Nosmoresmiles (Aug 25, 2017)

What are people thoughts on wedding rings after a divorce is finalised. 

I don't know if I should give my ring back to my stbxw it's currently sitting in a box collecting dust. I feel like the ring was given to me as a promise to keep the vows we made to each other. I do not want the ring back that I gave to her as I upheld my vows but I do not want mine as it's a reminder that she broke the vows she made to me. Our rings are engraved and when together the insides line up to say a message. I know I will never sell it and I have no children to keep it for so it's just left in the bottom of a box on the side. 

What have other people done with rings after divorce?


----------



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

My ex H and I put ours in a bag and gave to his parents to do whatever with.
I hope they got melted into something nice for someone else.


----------



## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

I was only thinking about this yesterday. Currently mine are in the family safe and I had planned on giving them, along with all my other jewelry, to my daughters. But now I'm thinking I might sell the engagement ring and take them on a holiday instead. I have a lot of family jewelry to pass on to them anyway so no real need to keep the wedding rings for them as well.


----------



## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

If it is a precious metal, sell it. If not, returning it to her would be a parthian shot in my opinion. Not making a judgement on that, but that is what it would be. If it causes you pain, get rid of it however suits you. I had a friend in who gathered his support team for a ceremonial throwing of the ring into one of the Great Lakes. Another person I know trained for a year for a great hike up a famous mountain, then left the ring at the top. One woman I know carries it on every date to remind herself not to be fooled. Not sure I agree with that one.


----------



## Nosmoresmiles (Aug 25, 2017)

NickyT said:


> returning it to her would be a parthian shot in my opinion


I understand that it may seam like I would be having one final shot at her but it's not what I intend for it to be . I have had many mixed signals from her and lies since she left as explained in my other posts I have still remained truthful and faithful to her even been there for her when she has needed someone to talk to i have never given up the fight to save the marriage but now I feel like giving the ring back to her would be a sign that everything is truly finished between us (even if that's not what I wanted) 

I have been reading up on what some people have done, some have had the ring redesigned into something else. Others have tossed them into a river or the sea. I did think about going to the place where our first date was (our first kiss) and leaving it there but that just doesn't feel right. It's strange but I feel the rings belong together and I feel like they both belong to her, one shows the commitment I upheld and the other the commitment she broke, so if I give it back to her then she can choose the fate for them.


----------



## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Give it to her then. If you don’t think she will take it, then leave it in her mailbox. 
I too want to give my ring to my stbxh but I know he doesn’t want it nor will he accept it.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

THIS, I beseech you.

Please, this ring, be gone with it.

It has power, it holds you to a past, failed.

It holds vibrations, those that have harmed you.

Those that can still do damage.

It is a link.

A link to the fabric of life. An axion.

An axion Linked-In, to the Collective Consciousness.

If you give it away, or sell it, the link is never broken.

The link grows as another poor soul adds their fate to this ring of pain.

Melt it down. On an outdoor gas grills side burner. In a heavy, very small iron skittle.

Or, bury it deep. So deep, spelunkers and metal detectors, their hands and their machines never detect, find and hold.

This, I beseech Thee.

Just Sayin'


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Throw it away in a sombolic place. And use it as a spring board to leave that part of your life behind and start new.


----------



## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

I have a nice river in mind... deep and wide, glacial in nature.

Since it was a gift not of heirloom status, the one ring does not rule the other, back to it's natural source it belongs.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

When my second husband and I were engaged, we both took our old wedding rings to some local woods and buried them. It seemed symbolic. 
Had they been worth a lot, I may have sold them and given the money to my children.


----------



## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

Nosmoresmiles said:


> I understand that it may seam like I would be having one final shot at her but it's not what I intend for it to be . I have had many mixed signals from her and lies since she left as explained in my other posts I have still remained truthful and faithful to her even been there for her when she has needed someone to talk to i have never given up the fight to save the marriage but now I feel like giving the ring back to her would be a sign that everything is truly finished between us (even if that's not what I wanted)


So, this is going to sound harsh. I don't mean it to be. I mean it to be honest and to challenge you to truly consider it.

It sounds like you have hung in there beyond the call of duty. Why? Because you say you had never given up the fight. You have had mixed signals from her. In your mind, there was always a glimmer of hope.

If the fight is over in your mind, then it is over. If returning the ring is not a parthian shot, not a final ultimatum, then what could it be? SHE does not need your sign that it is truly finished. YOU need the sign that it is truly finished. To take the ring to her is to seek her blessing on your decision or to seek the final blow from her and to see her one last time, thereby continuing to give her power over your life.

Walk away. Throw the ring out if it is not valuable. If it is, sell it and donate the money. Just cut that tie. 

Nothing feels better than taking your power back.


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Get a 3lb hammer take it and put it on the groung then pound it with all your might maybe even cry alittle bit then kick it aside stand up tall shoulders back head held up high and move on.

Good luck.


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Or after pounding it to $hit mail it back to her.


----------



## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

well, it was before I divorced, but mine went for a journey, via a baseball bat swung from the back deck. it's out in the woods somewhere.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*With my XW, I actually lost my wedding band at some restaurant after I w ny in to wash my hands in the men’s room. After the divorce, I don’t really have the first damned clue what she did with hers!

With my RSXW, she wanted to use my Mom and Dads diamond wedding ring/band as they had been married for some 54 years.

After our divorce, she returned Mom’s ring. I continued to wear Dad’s band strictly as a commerative to their wedding vows just up until lately when a plethora of my brethren here at TAM crawled up my backside telling me that if I expected to attract a lady, that I was going to have to lose the band. Which I did! It now sits in my jewelry storage box, while Moms diamond ring is safely stored away in my banks safe deposit box! 

I really guess that I should Dad’s band into the bank and reunite it with Mom’s!*


----------



## OMO (Oct 24, 2016)

Sell it and do something positive with the money like donate it to a charity or just walk up to someone who looks like they need it and give it to them.


----------



## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Do whatever helps you to close that portion of your life. I think I still have my original wedding band somewhere, never could figure out what to do with it. I believe my ex took her wedding band and engagement ring and remade them into something else.


----------



## ResignedWife (Jan 20, 2017)

When my husband and I were seeking separation, I offered my rings to him, and he said I could keep them. I told him I would like to have the diamond reset into a necklace using his wedding band as the setting, and we could give it to our daughter upon her graduation from university. He thought that was a great idea.


----------



## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

If you give it to your ex, regardless of your meaning will end in no good. She will probably sell it and do something she enjoys and tell the story of her gain at your expense for years to come. Donate it to a charitable organization that would be able to do good with an object that no longer has meaning to you.


----------

