# Lonely christmas



## my-abu (Nov 25, 2013)

Its been a month since i found out about my wife's infidelity and until now i still feel the pain. I lost almost 30 pounds and i told you its not easy. Its hard to celebrate christmas like this. I hope someone who have been in this situation and moved on give me advice how you did it. I can't divorce her coz we did not het married in this country. 

Anyway i wish all of you a merry christmas
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

my-abu said:


> Its been a month since i found out about my wife's infidelity and until now i still feel the pain. I lost almost 30 pounds and i told you its not easy. Its hard to celebrate christmas like this. I hope someone who have been in this situation and moved on give me advice how you did it. I can't divorce her coz we did not het married in this country.
> 
> Anyway i wish all of you a merry christmas
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Actually, there's some potentially good news for you. You can get divorced anywhere in the world that you are living in.

However, is divorce the only option? Is reconciliation totally out of the question?

By the way, the off topic social section here at TAM can be a real blast. Drop in there if you need cheering up.


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## my-abu (Nov 25, 2013)

I asked her for another chance last night and she said no. She's in to the guy so deep she is willing to sacrifice everything. The guy is married with 3 kids and 15 years older than my wife. I just cant imagine what will happen to my baby like she will get confused like every other week she gonna lived in two house it will affect her when she grow up. I told my wife about it and she said our daughter gonna be fine as long as we raise her right. I told her how can we raise her right if shes gonna be bouncing back and fort in 2 family. I just dont know what to do. Its like i hve no choice
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

my-abu said:


> I asked her for another chance last night and she said no. She's in to the guy so deep she is willing to sacrifice everything. The guy is married with 3 kids and 15 years older than my wife. I just cant imagine what will happen to my baby like she will get confused like every other week she gonna lived in two house it will affect her when she grow up. I told my wife about it and she said our daughter gonna be fine as long as we raise her right. I told her how can we raise her right if shes gonna be bouncing back and fort in 2 family. I just dont know what to do. Its like i hve no choice
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


my-abu, have you taken any of the measures we've laid out for you to blow this adultery apart once and for all?

Anything?


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

YOU asked HER for a second chance?


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I know this can be a tough time of the year. I suggest you take another look at your life.

Go speak to a lawyer, I'm no expert... but there must be a way to get rid of her.

If you really want her back. Expose her and especially expose married POSOM. Out him on cheaterville also.

File for D, and do a hard 180. Either she'll get her wits back or you move on minus the cheater


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

my-abu said:


> I asked her for another chance last night and she said no. She's in to the guy so deep she is willing to sacrifice everything. The guy is married with 3 kids and 15 years older than my wife. I just cant imagine what will happen to my baby like she will get confused like every other week she gonna lived in two house it will affect her when she grow up. I told my wife about it and she said our daughter gonna be fine as long as we raise her right. I told her how can we raise her right if shes gonna be bouncing back and fort in 2 family. I just dont know what to do. Its like i hve no choice
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Brother, you are star gazing. Right now your head is up Uranus! 

You are not her slave. You were born to be a man and you do not beg for her to take you back. You tell her she can go pound sand. You blow up the affair and you take control of your life.

I was where you were 2 years ago. Right now, I have had dates with 7 beautiful women in the last 10 days. I am enjoying my life because somewhere along the way in my healing somebody reminded me that God gave me a set of balls and that I needed to act like a man and start using them.

You need to do the same. Stop wining and crying and being a baby. Like you, I lost 30 pounds but I forced myself to go to the gym everyday and I put on lots of muscle.

You can sit there and mope this Christmas or you can focus on the positive. You decide. You alone decide if you are going to be happy. Get up. Get fresh air and go to the gym.

Your life is moving on without you. Get up and grab hold of it!


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## my-abu (Nov 25, 2013)

3putt said:


> my-abu, have you taken any of the measures we've laid out for you to blow this adultery apart once and for all?
> 
> Anything?


Yes i went to a lawyer 2 weeks ago but sadly i cant afford his fee 2500 first then 500 per hour . Damn! i am looking frward to talk to a public lawyer and see my option. But because of this holday season its hard to find one. I hope next year will be good to me. I really appreciate all your advice.thank u so much
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## my-abu (Nov 25, 2013)

verpin zal said:


> YOU asked HER for a second chance?


Yes i did! For the sake of my daughter. I don't want her to grow up that her family is broken. As a parent it is my duty to do everything for the sake of my family
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

my-abu said:


> Yes i went to a lawyer 2 weeks ago but sadly i cant afford his fee 2500 first then 500 per hour . Damn! i am looking frward to talk to a public lawyer and see my option. But because of this holday season its hard to find one. I hope next year will be good to me. I really appreciate all your advice.thank u so much
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Going to a lawyer isn't quite what I was talking about. I was talking about full exposure. If you really want a chance to fix this then calling this POSOM's BW and exposing at the workplace is your best bet.



my-abu said:


> Yes i did! For the sake of my daughter. I don't want her to grow up that her family is broken. *As a parent it is my duty to do everything for the sake of my family*


Then do it! Just do what we've been telling you, and you'll be taking your first step toward what you want. There are no guarantees of course, but I guarantee if you sit back whining and begging then you can kiss your family and marriage goodbye.

No trying to be harsh, but real. 

Here....read this thread from MB. Maybe it will open your eyes a little as to what we're talking about and how effective it can be.

Exposure 101 - Your Most Powerful Weapon - Marriage Builders® Forums


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Exposing to the other mans wife is key to have a shot at all imo.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I along with thousands spent Christmas during a war. Mine was Vietnam. It was treated pretty much like another day and then everything went back to normal.

If you want your daughter to be fine then be there and love her and she won't forget who her dad is. I went through 2 divorces and have a daughter from each marriage. Kids can survive a divorce. Just try to keep your head up and stop rolling over and playing dead with your wife. You'll get taken to the cleaners that way.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

my-abu said:


> Yes i did! For the sake of my daughter. I don't want her to grow up that her family is broken. As a parent it is my duty to do everything for the sake of my family
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Therefore, you can choose to offer HER a second chance for the sake of your daughter.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

I helped my son with the divorce papers with his wife, who "dated" her co-workers. You can get the papers from the county clerk or sometimes online. 

My son went to see what was going on with this "bowling" work party. Only 2 people there. She was all over her co-worker and was surprised when he showed up. 

You can expose and do the 180.


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

Don't be lonely on Christmas. You have your daughter to think of. It's hard boy do I know it. Remember. This. A month is not very long. You're probably still in shock.

How to get through it? Think of someone less fortunate. Someone that is having an even harder time than you. Try to help them. Help ease their burden in some way.
Feed someone's meter. Pay off someone's layaway. Give a coat to a homeless guy. Anything! One year we went to a children's hospital and sang carols. The families were there from out of town because it was Christmas Day. One mom started crying and said thank you so much... we made it feel like it was really Christmas..... Her little boy had cancer.

Why did this help me? Because they will appreciate it! Using your energy like this even a small gesture will bring more faith and hope into the world.

Please take care and Merry Christmas my abu!


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## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

my-abu said:


> I asked her for another chance last night and she said no. She's in to the guy so deep she is willing to sacrifice everything. The guy is married with 3 kids and 15 years older than my wife. I just cant imagine what will happen to my baby like she will get confused like every other week she gonna lived in two house it will affect her when she grow up. I told my wife about it and she said our daughter gonna be fine as long as we raise her right. I told her how can we raise her right if shes gonna be bouncing back and fort in 2 family. I just dont know what to do. Its like i hve no choice
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Let her go....read the 180. Not to get her back but for you.\
Since I have it is good - you will realize you do not need a comnniving manipulative c#nt in your life....

Trust me (and read my earlier posts to see the shape I was in) it is the way to go. Last Christmas was my first..this year 20X better. The firsts are the worst..


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## my-abu (Nov 25, 2013)

They already exposed themselves at their workplace. I read their messages last time when i always check her phone. I told you the messages i read there is killing me my heart pounded like hell and i thought i am going to have a heart attack. I don't want to detail everything but all i can say is she crazy with this guy that is y i stop checking everything and stop asking question whch i know whats gonna be her answer. Yeah they agreed to announce it at their workplace. Right now when my daughter and i woke up this morning she's gone. Anyway thank you all guys for the advice. I can tell you now that i will follow all your advice. I am done. You are all right i don't deserve to be treated like crap. I am looking now to find my own place actually ive been looking for an apartment 2
Weeks ago and hopefully by the end of this year or early next year i'll be on my own. This is not gonna be
Easy but i have to it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## my-abu (Nov 25, 2013)

Merry christmas to all
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

my-abu said:


> They already exposed themselves at their workplace. I read their messages last time when i always check her phone. I told you the messages i read there is killing me my heart pounded like hell and i thought i am going to have a heart attack. I don't want to detail everything but all i can say is she crazy with this guy that is y i stop checking everything and stop asking question whch i know whats gonna be her answer. Yeah they agreed to announce it at their workplace. Right now when my daughter and i woke up this morning she's gone. Anyway thank you all guys for the advice. I can tell you now that i will follow all your advice. I am done. You are all right i don't deserve to be treated like crap. I am looking now to find my own place actually ive been looking for an apartment 2
> Weeks ago and hopefully by the end of this year or early next year i'll be on my own. This is not gonna be
> Easy but i have to it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No - you expose them EVERYWHERE....Do NOT believe what they say. Last year my ex ran me down to ALL my in-laws etc. - it worked for a while UNTIL I put them on cheaterville...
now this year her mother said to my sons ``I cannot see him (me) because I am ashamed of all the gossip and talk about my daughter`` 
It wasn`t you who caused the pain - it was her....give it a year, you will eventually see ALL the ways she exploited you in the past....people who love their spouses do not cheat on them.
Oh and BTW - she moves out NOT you! Take care.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

They agreed to announce it? F-that! Announce it for them. Consider it a Christmas gift to yourself. Out them on Cheaterville.


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