# Married but Alone



## Katama17 (Oct 28, 2016)

I've been married for 38 years and have reached the breaking point of not knowing where to turn or what to do. My husband and I have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for over 15 years. There is no intimacy whatsoever in our marriage. We live as room mates. We barely have any conversation, unless it has to do with our son or grandchildren. I have felt so alone for over 25 years now. We have sought counseling many times to no avail. It just doesn't work for him. He has no desire to do anything at all. I'm 63, vivacious and a passionate woman in everything I do. I feel like I am dying inside and I just don't know what to do. I love my husband, but I am no longer "in love" with him. Please help!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

So sorry you feel this way. I know there is no real substitute for the love and care of your H.
Have you had your own individual therapy, it might help you to look at how you an be complete without depending on your H.


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## Katama17 (Oct 28, 2016)

I have sought counseling and continue to do so. I just don't see what I can possibly do. He has made it impossible for me to financially survive on my own.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Katama17 said:


> I have felt so alone for over 25 years now.


Why did you choose to stay for so long with the situation being what it was?

I think we are in a much weaker position to help you than you are, so it would be helpful to know what we're missing from your story. You do not mention much about the reasons for having to remain in such an intolerable situation.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Katama17 said:


> I have sought counseling and continue to do so. I just don't see what I can possibly do. He has made it impossible for me to financially survive on my own.


How has he made is impossible for you to financially survive on your own?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Last time I lived in Ma. the divorce laws still split the assets 50/50, talk to a lawyer before doing anything.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Katama17 said:


> I have sought counseling and continue to do so. I just don't see what I can possibly do. He has made it impossible for me to financially survive on my own.


Job + alimony = BOOM. Done. 

HE has not done that, YOU have by allowing it to happen.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Depressing. If you didn't have the means to leave him, you should have demanded it be an open marriage. Well, it wouldn't have been really open since his d*ck isn't anywhere near you. You got to take care of yourself, since no one else will do it. Time for you to make a change. Hopefully you posting on here is the first step. Good luck.

Maybe your key to a happy life is to find another guy you can't live without and he'll take care of you. You won't be alone forever, there are way too many single people out there looking for a loving relationship. There are ways out, you just have to want it.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Katama, how old are you?

You may not want to leave him, and if your marriage is merely a financial arrangement, accept it for what it is and start living your life as if he is not in it. There are many thing you can do to have a fulfilling life, you just have to find them.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

63 is the new 50, didnt you hear? 

Seriously, if you are vivacious and full of life, and can smile and are fun to be with, you should have no problem finding someone. There is plenty of time to establish a rewarding connection with someone.

Please look out for yourself and make a change.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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