# When sex becomes dirty sport



## westeastwood (Jul 12, 2012)

I been married for last 7 years and sex we have is still great but...

Since a start of our relationship we had great sex life in every form except anal that she enjoyed couple of times but it was painful for hear so we stopped.

But in last couple of years(3 to be exact) i noticed "slight" lose of interest for sex on her side. From 4-5 times a week it fell down to 4-5 a month even less sometimes. 
Since i have nearly same libido as on start of our relationship(we are both in mid 30s) it's been a quite a hit for my selfesteem.

Oral sex was a BIG part of our sex life and she lost ALL interest for it even for receiving it.

On the start of our realtionship i asked for her not to fake orgasms because she would be only fooling herself with that and in our 10 years she didn't climaxed maybe 10-15 times.
Every time when she sees that she cant come we stop since i have my hand for masturbation. First time when she didn't climax she even cried because she thought that something is wrong with her

I consider myself a patient and giving lover because i will do what it takes to get her off, in 8 times of 10 she will come first.

And after analyzing our situation i noticed that she maybe started to perceive sex as dirty activity, i concluded that from her lost of interest in oral sex and what really bugs me and kills my mood is situation when she comes first she loses interest quickly and then she get's a look on her face like:"please don't stain the sheets" or "who is gonna clean this"...

I can understand her that stress and job lose and other things make her less into sex and since i'm not cheating guy and don't want to blow my steam elsewhere i'm starting to have problems with this.

Sex is important part of my life and like any other man that loves his wife it must be really big stress to lose interest in sex with someone you love so i don't get it.

Am I not attractive to her or clean enough or i started to be boring in sex i really don't know. When we talk about it she usual gives:"it's not you it's me" routine and she even once told me that i'm sex maniac...

There were ups and down in our relationship but we are still close, we still cuddle , and hold our hands in bed and as i see romance is not gone but sex is leaving the building.

I would really like some woman perspective on this because i don't know how to handle this. 

I love her i don't wanna pressure her but i like sex with her too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Has she had her hormone levels checked?

Is she tired or stressed out?

If it's nothing physical then there is most likely something wrong with your marriage. 

How much time do the two of you spend together a week doing date-like things (not sex), just the two of you alone .. things like cuddling, going on walks, talking and even fancy dates?


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## J.R.Jefferis (Jun 27, 2012)

Communication is the key here. You need to be open with her and express everything you have just said in this forum. If she really loves you she will care a lot about your needs and concerns. Many of these problems are so easily solved with a bit of open, frank (yet loving) communication.

JR


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## westeastwood (Jul 12, 2012)

She had some health issues but hormonal it was nearly OK, she is on pill momentary.

As i said we are still close but to be frank my job is taking up my time and i can become distant when tired and her unemployment doesn't help and the fact that we live in city far away from our friends and family. 

I'm no saint, maybe i'm not giving enough, but i love her i' trying to take care of us best as possible i'm there for her...

I don't know...


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Same happened to me. Blowjobs because no hands, because she didn't want to get her own spit on her hands. Sex became a sign of "another shower and possibly washing the sheets". It was no longer fun, but more of something icky I wanted to do and she didn't.

It's up to her to fix it. Whether she realizes its important to you and you may leave her, or there is some huge catalyst in your marriage that makes he want to try hard to make you happy again.


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