# Husband left & wanting divorce



## hotmama91 (Sep 27, 2012)

It has been a little over a month since my husband left. We have been married for 3 years and together for 6. We have a almost 2 year old son and one on the way. When I found out I was pregnant I told my husband and he freaked out. He wouldn't talk to me for a week and told me he was just in shock. Things were going great before this and he even agreed that they were. A week after he found out he said he wanted to divorce and has been thinking about it for 6 months. He said he wasn't inlove with me anymore and that he thought I would be happy about this. I begged and pleaded for him to stay but he left and is staying with his parents.


I had no idea this was coming and just can't believe what he is telling me. I don't want to end our marriage over what I feel like is nothing we can't fix. He won't agree to marriage counseling or anything to try to work on our marriage. I know that we both have our faults and their are some things that I could have done to be a better wife. We have really neglected our marriage and never made time for just us. Six months ago he had to start mandatory overtime at work and was gone from 6am to 9pm and had to work every other Saturday. He has been in a bad mood during that time but I just thought he was tired so I didn't do anything about it knowing that eventually it would be over, and things would go back to normal. I have recently been doing the 180 but not really any signs of improving. He picks up our son on Saturday and brings me groceries for the week since I do not drive and he brings him home on Sunday. When he is here, he is nice and talks to me like he normally would and we sometimes have sex. I had a rough first pregnancy and was on hospital bed rest for 10 weeks. So I am sure that is making him stressed that I am pregnant again. I just don't know what to do. I am trying to focus on myself but its so hard when all I do is miss him. He says he doesn't miss me and has only thought about coming back for our son. I just find this so hard to believe because we have been inseperable since we have been together, so what he is saying must be true. Would love any advice, I just want to save my marriage.


----------



## SCsweety81 (Sep 27, 2012)

I'm sorry you're going through this. My husband is basically pulling the same crap, except that I found out he is seeing someone else, so he has that extra influence. I, too, would love to save my marriage, but I think there comes a point when enough is enough. I know every marriage has it's problems, but when a wife graciously takes back her wayward husband, after he's left because it got too tough, it just proves to him that she will tolerate ANYthing. I don't know about you, but I can't continue being that wife. I love him, as I'm sure you love your husband, but my own well being is important, too. As the abandoned spouses, we want so badly to reconcile, because we're terrified of change, and the end of normalcy, and being lonely. Is that really a reason to sacrifice our own happiness? It'll hurt a while (apparently a lot longer than I would have ever thought), but the end result will be phenomenal - a new woman, with self respect, who knows what she wants and loves herself unconditionally. Personally, I need that a hell of a lot more than I need a husband who runs to Mommy when times get tough. You probably do, too, if you'll be honest with yourself. 

I hope you can feel some relief from your anguish. I pray, a lot - not that my husband will come home, but that I can learn to be patient and forgiving and better myself in His eyes. I pray for that Corinthians love...for myself.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Why are you still having sex with him?


----------



## MisterRitter (Sep 1, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Why are you still having sex with him?


Yes!!!!!. How does the 180 equate to sex. There is no way to do both. You need to decide what your behavior towards him will be and once you have what you consider to be a good plan, implement it. And, consider what all the consequences of your plan will be, that is the hard part i think.

Good luck, and you have my sympathizes towards your hard situation.


----------



## tigerchick0507 (Oct 3, 2012)

hotmama91 said:


> It has been a little over a month since my husband left. We have been married for 3 years and together for 6. We have a almost 2 year old son and one on the way. When I found out I was pregnant I told my husband and he freaked out. He wouldn't talk to me for a week and told me he was just in shock. Things were going great before this and he even agreed that they were. A week after he found out he said he wanted to divorce and has been thinking about it for 6 months. He said he wasn't inlove with me anymore and that he thought I would be happy about this. I begged and pleaded for him to stay but he left and is staying with his parents.
> 
> 
> I had no idea this was coming and just can't believe what he is telling me. I don't want to end our marriage over what I feel like is nothing we can't fix. He won't agree to marriage counseling or anything to try to work on our marriage. I know that we both have our faults and their are some things that I could have done to be a better wife. We have really neglected our marriage and never made time for just us. Six months ago he had to start mandatory overtime at work and was gone from 6am to 9pm and had to work every other Saturday. He has been in a bad mood during that time but I just thought he was tired so I didn't do anything about it knowing that eventually it would be over, and things would go back to normal. I have recently been doing the 180 but not really any signs of improving. He picks up our son on Saturday and brings me groceries for the week since I do not drive and he brings him home on Sunday. When he is here, he is nice and talks to me like he normally would and we sometimes have sex. I had a rough first pregnancy and was on hospital bed rest for 10 weeks. So I am sure that is making him stressed that I am pregnant again. I just don't know what to do. I am trying to focus on myself but its so hard when all I do is miss him. He says he doesn't miss me and has only thought about coming back for our son. I just find this so hard to believe because we have been inseperable since we have been together, so what he is saying must be true. Would love any advice, I just want to save my marriage.




sweetie i am 30 weeks pregnant too and my husband kicked me out a month ago and i just recently found out that he is cheating on me. my husband and me have been fighting constantly since ive been pregnant 1 cause he has a severe drug problem and 2 because i know he is scared too we lost our daughter last year on october 13 i was 21 weeks and 4 days ( mommy loves you Cheyenne Leigh) but a month ago he threw me out and up until yesterday he has been saying that we are gonna be fine and that its just gonna take time well yesterday he said we are getting a divorce. i was forced to move 3 hours away from there, my home back to my parents. i am severly depressed and cry all the time........ i don't know what to do ne more either his gf has said that i need to stop annoying them and to leave my own husband alone ummm hello does she not get the fact that in 8 weeks or less i am having his child so im not going ne where....... i love him more than anything except our children, but what can i do if he doesn't want to be with me ..... nothing except state the fact that i love him and want to be with him in the end ..... i can say that i tried my hardest for everything for our family and children and for our marriage................................................


----------

