# Patience??????



## Ouch (Jul 30, 2010)

My husband and I have been separated for a about a month and a half.... we have no children just a house we placed on the market... Long story short he is unhappy with his job and where we live, he believes there is more to life and would like to experience the world. We both remain very civil and still talk to catch up from time to time.... Today I went there and like always we could chat forever.... We started talking about us and both of us started to cry......... He then says let's not go there... I do not understand why...... I know he still loves and cares for me very much...... as i do him..... so why are we separated? Insights?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

His crying and your crying might have been for completely different reasons. im sure he does still care for you. but caring about you is painful because the reality is what he thought he had feels like it was all a lie. im guessing he doesnt want to go there again.


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## marcy* (Feb 27, 2010)

I think he loves you, but he is not ready to be a responsible, faithful married man. Unfortunately some persons understand that after they get married. They have no clue what marriage is. Marriage is more than love.
How old are you and your husband?


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## Ouch (Jul 30, 2010)

Deb,
Thanks for posting..... H is turning 30 I am 27..... we have been together for 10 years.... Married for 5 years..... I love him so much and miss him alot.... while talking yesterday he said he misses me but he would like to give separation a try... he believes that there is more to life than house work, kids and work.... we only work for 7.5 hours a day, the rest of the time should be enjoying life....... not worrying about grass and such..... As for us.... he isnt sure if being married and responsible for someone else is what he wants as he may wanna travel and move around everywhere............... I dont know what to do.......


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

Give him time. He will soon see how life is without you. Believe me, they think that they might have it better, but they will soon realize that things are just the same. Try to move on, not from your marriage or him, but simply focus on your self, do the things you always wanted to do just to pass the time. Keep busy. When he wants to talk to him. Try no to bring up your issues, you will see that in due time, he will come around. I will pray for you two. 
God Bless!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Ouch, 

Your husband is turning 30. He qualifies. Have him see his Army recruiter. He can experience the world and still remain married. I've seen most of the world and most of it was sucky and lonely. A year or two in Afghanistan and he'll appreciate home. The world is rather round. It has land and water, hot and cold, mountains, deserts, etc. There are some nice people and there are those who want to kill you. Mostly, it's just occupied by people trying to support themselves and get along with each other. He can stay home and do exactly that. If he needs to know more about the world, he can see his recruiter.


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## Ouch (Jul 30, 2010)

Hello,

I just need some insight... Since our chat last weekend my H messaged and said it was great talking to me, he continues to message and this Sat would have been our five year anniversary....... He just messaged me inquiring whether or not I was avaliable to meet up with our real estate agent to look over the staus of our house selling..... Why of all days this Sat???? To be honest I really want to go am I making a mistake? Should I reschedule? Thoughts or am I thinking way to much into this??? I know if I go I should go with no expectations..... Insights?


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I may have this so very wrong but it sounds like he’s trying to hurt you, either that or he’s a massively insensitive guy.

What to do? If it was me I wouldn’t go, plenty of other times to do that. Maybe just tell him you’re busy and then think of a good way to coddle yourself on your anniversary. A trip somewhere, a long walk in the woods. Go and see your parents or someone you’re close to in your family or ask a friend to have a day out with you. Or just stay at home and light loads of candles and incense sticks.

Btw. My wife and I got married very young and I was one who wanted to see the world. We did it together with two very young sons, lived in Oman and Egypt for a few years each. I know we got lucky but it does happen. We holidayed in Hong Kong, Thailand and the Philippines, could have gone off to the Far East on another contract but seeing the “world” was out of my system by then. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t “see the world” and travel together.

Bob


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## Ouch (Jul 30, 2010)

Update..... So I asked him if it's a good idea for us to see each other since this Sat is suppose to be our 5 Year anniversary.... he said he knows and whether or not I had plans.... I asked him if he was trying to kill me he said maybe LOL and we should grab lunch........... what is wrong with this man?


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Sounds like you’re emotionally entangled with a man “with problems”.

Maybe the “Drama Triangle” at Drama Triangle: The Three Faces of Victim by Lynne Forrest will make some kind of sense to you, it did to me.

Bob


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