# My husband suddenly gave me a babysitter



## cheating husband (Jul 22, 2013)

For years, my husband, have never maken money availabel to let me use babysitter for the kids he has with me. Not even my blood pressure was 300/200.

Suddenly last friday, he got a baby sitter for me without informing me anything ahead of arriving of the baby sitter.

after baby sitter arrived, I found she is the one that i told my husband that i don't like, who sitted the kids my husband has from his past marriage.

i went to upstair and found out my husband allowed her to wear shoes in my house. my husband knows that it can make me really upset when someone wear shoes in my house.but i didn't say a word when my husband was still home.

after my husband left for work without telling me a word about said babysitter, i told her i don't need help right now, she can go home, and i told her i don't like her wear shoes in my house, she should not have done that because she knew my house rule about shoes when she came to sit my stepchildren in the past.



she said she needed to call my husband. i told her she can call my husband on the porch, i really don't want her shoes step on house floor, she insist not to leave, still wear shoes in the house, walk around with her damn dirty shoes in my house, when she was calling my husband. 

then she told me she was not leaving, because my husband said she can stay.

i told her i have door opened for her, she need to leave, when i count to 10 if she still not leave my house, i will have to call police. 

i made a record of the whole conversation, i listened to the part when babysitter and me both called my husband, it sound like this:

I said to my husband: 
Hi, she wore shoes in my house, i have to vancumm the floor again for our crawler baby who is 1 year old;


The babysitter said to my husband: 

Hi, she told me to leave....


It just sound funny to me that both of us called my husband " Hi", and both of us refered each other as " She"

after years of my husband have refused to make money availabe to allow me to use babysitter for the kids he has with me, 
it just doesn't sound quite right to me now he not only suddenly give me a babysitter, but also a babysitter he knows i don't like, and at the time i don't need. 


I also feel my husband was very disrespectful to me by without asking me : do u need a babysitter? what about this babysitter? when do u need a babysitter? he asked none of any. 

am i too much a woman-revolution?

if u would b me, what would u to this ***** babysitter?



what is the motivation behind it?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Why do you need a babysitter in the first place?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Motivation? Behind getting a sitter you don't like? Surely you can read between the lines here. He chose someone he knows you don't like because NOW he can say "hey, you've been begging me to allow it, but when I did, you sent her away. You don't really need one." 

Now, as for the sitter wearing shoes in YOUR house... your house, your rules. You don't allow shoes, she should have taken them off. So, how did it end? Did she stay or leave?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Maricha is right, he did this so he can say you don't need a babysitter. It's manipulation.

This babysitter was rude by wearing her shoes in the house and by not leaving when you asked.


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## cheating husband (Jul 22, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Motivation? Behind getting a sitter you don't like? Surely you can read between the lines here. He chose someone he knows you don't like because NOW he can say "hey, you've been begging me to allow it, but when I did, you sent her away. You don't really need one."
> 
> Now, as for the sitter wearing shoes in YOUR house... your house, your rules. You don't allow shoes, she should have taken them off. So, how did it end? Did she stay or leave?


she left. 

my husband harass me to deathe via text.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> It's manipulation.


Absolutely, and a conspiracy between the husband and babysitter to put the wife down as well.

The babysitter already had the idea she could disrespect you and count on the husband to back her up.


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## cheating husband (Jul 22, 2013)

Wiserforit said:


> Absolutely, and a conspiracy between the husband and babysitter to put the wife down as well.
> 
> The babysitter already had the idea she could disrespect you and count on the husband to back her up.



why husband and babysitter want to work together to put me/ the wife down? 

what is the next step i shall take?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

cheating husband said:


> why husband and babysitter want to work together to put me/ the wife down?
> 
> what is the next step i shall take?


I thought you were already working toward divorce? :scratchhead:

Now, think about why they would work together... what is your screen name? There's your answer.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Ya know this is the weirdest situation... both the baby sitters actions and the husbands.

I agree with the other others saying he did to manipulate the situation. Now he can just say your ungrateful or hard to please.

But WTF is with her refusing to take off her shoes or leave the house when asked.....really odd. Why would she think she had the right to refuse your demand she leave?

Also why do you not have access to money for the times when you DO need a sitter? Do you have access to money for other things like petrol, shopping, doctors, hairdressers etc..

So pleased you stood up for yourself though... keep it up!


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

I know the shoe thing is an issue for you, but its the least of your worries. You got bigger fish to fry. Keep your eye on the bigger picture, a husband who disrespects you, and not having access to money for things you may really need. When you mentioned your blood pressure was so high, are you meaning he wouldn't let you have money to get your blood pressure medications? If so, that could be life or death situation. Contact a lawyer, tell them what you have told us here.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I can't believe she stood up to you like that! How is she? Sounds like conspiracy to me. Who in the right mind would not leave when the owner of the house is asking you to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

mablenc said:


> I can't believe she stood up to you like that! How is she? Sounds like conspiracy to me. Who in the right mind would not leave when the owner of the house is asking you to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I was thinking the same thing, and if the house is in both their names, the wife could have actually called the police and had the woman escorted away from the home. And possibly charged with trespassing.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Just to ask - if this is the same babysitter who used to watch your stepkids, was she babysitting when he was married to his first wife as well?

I mean, what other reason would you call a babysitter without informing your wife ahead of time, when you aren't even planning on being home?

Sounds to me like they may have a thing going on, and maybe he's using this as a way to mess with you.


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

He may not let you have access to the funds because maybe someone else has access to it. Or perhaps he is giving money to this "babysitter" for her services other than watching children. Its time to stand your ground and start calling your husband out on stuff. Perhaps talking to a lawyer is good idea too.


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## cheating husband (Jul 22, 2013)

Sounds to me like they may have a thing going on, and maybe he's using this as a way to mess with you.[/QUOTE]


i really don't understand here" they may be have a thing going on, he is ..... mess with you?" 


what is going on, what is he messing with me. 

forgive my stupidness


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

"A thing going on" would mean an inappropriate level of involvement - be that emotional and/or physical. That her level of comfort at disrespecting you seems to indicate she's far more familiar and comfortable with your husband than their relationship would entail at face value (ie a parent and a babysitter.)

And messing with you would be - trying to upset you, or not caring if they do.


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## bobbieb65 (Jan 24, 2013)

He's doin' the babysitter, one way or another. Why else would she act like the OW in his life. And yes, this does happen, I have a story for that.


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## cheating husband (Jul 22, 2013)

bobbieb65 said:


> He's doin' the babysitter, one way or another. Why else would she act like the OW in his life. And yes, this does happen, I have a story for that.



what is OW? thanks


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

cheating husband said:


> what is OW? thanks


OW= Other Woman


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm really sorry your husband treats you awful. I am assuming there's much more that he does that your not telling us. 

It sounds really fishy that he would hire a babysitter that he knew in the past that you don't like. Plus her being extremely rude and invading your home! If you do stay married, I hope you find your own babysitter. This is so important that you like and trust who is watching your children. Your husband is not treating you respectfully. Your husband sounds controlling and it sounds like he's up to no good.

Please, don't think of yourself as being stupid in any way. Your not stupid or dumb at all. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are either. Ask all the questions you need. There is no such thing as a stupid question either. Take care.


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