# how 2 communicate re partners extreme stinginess.



## sue 1386 (Jul 17, 2009)

i am asking this for a friend and i say that as i will post threads for myself and i dont want that people dont have a balanced view of my own situation.

i will write this in first person but this post is actually for a friend

how 2 communicate re partners extreme stinginess

can u give me hints of how to solve a partners extreme stinginess.

he wanted me to move in with him we have been together almost 2 years. he is a man with generally good old fashioned values, a hard worker, a loving guy who gives me so many hugs a day in fact so many it disturbs my peace already.

when i moved in there were a couple of issues that arose and i saw he cared about me and about what bothered me and tried to resolve them.

he is on a high income some 100 000 a year, i've been on a small income and a student alot of the time aswell. I am very careful with money and very trustworthy and very much a giver in all ways in my life, and i pay my own way, but this situation is extreme.

he will take me out and not pay for me for a meal or the movies i have to pay for myself. 

he even wanted me once to eat chips off his meal plate that he ordered for himself till his friends told him not to be so stingy that chips cost $3 to just buy me my own chips.

he now complained that his electricity bill was much higher than it used to be. well thats what will happen if you want a partner and family which he wants.

I am happy not to have children but he wants children and yet the way he is so stingy it would make my life a nightmare to have children with such a man.children and households have alot of expenses and he is so stingy. 

he says if we had kids he would pay for everything he wouldnt want me to work but going on what i've seen of him these last 2 years money and him are a nightmare.

his friends will travel, but he wont travel with me as he wants me to pay for all my travel which i can but not upfront i might have to borrow from him and pay him back which i am very reliable for. This isnt a good situation. he tried to make me feel guilty why we didnt travel when his friends were going away but its because of this issue.

i needed a computer to study at his place and his father organised one, and he said he would pick it up, and then when it came to doing it he didnt and he said because then he would have had to pay for it and he wasnt prepared to .

one time he did take me interstate but i saw it was becuase all his friends were going.

if i need to borrow for a few days a bit of money or in order to go for a holiday with him he will never lend me money

he would like me to prepare meals for him but how can i if he doesnt provide me with money to do so .

what is it with some men and money.t hey say they want relationships but some men are so extremely stingy.

how can i talk to him about this. how can i change this. what would you do and say.

Sue.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Tell her:

You can't change him and should not waste your time. 
She isn't married, so leave him and find someone else more to her liking.
She is the one who needs to change and stop trying to change him. The only one she can change is herself and she should not take him on as a fixer up project. It never works out and a pure waste of time.
Don't cook for him, do his laundry or anything.... 
do not assume the maid and servant role.
He is either going to like it or not... if not, leave.




Not all men are stingy, stop assuming and generalizing, she just has the wrong man.


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## valium (Sep 22, 2008)

you cannot change him


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