# 2 months and counting



## 503sfguy (Oct 15, 2009)

My W has been gone for a little more than 2 months now EA and I believe now a PA from the phone records its pretty obvious that she has been staying there. We have child together, so we are in contact with each other on a daily basis. She says she is staying with a friend for now but says she is going to get an apartment on her own(her friend is leaving the country in two months). I am almost positive that when she does not have our daughter that she is staying with OM. They work together and when she is staying with her friend its takes her an hour and a half to get to work. Anyway she is having problems getting an apartment due to lack of money her job just does not pay enough. She is learning to drive and plans on taking her driving test soon. We bought a car for her when we were together but i have not given it to her since she doesn't have her liciense yet and I caught her driving without it. She wants the car when she passes the test. I feel she should buy my half of the car from me. Since we were together and used our money to buy the car. We are in the process of a separation agreement. Anyway she asked me for a TV the other night she says for the kid to watch movies. Which I am okay with. I just dont know if I give her the car and TV and pots and pans she says she needs is this a sign of good hope or should I let her go out and get things on her own. After all she said that she needs to do this for herself. I dont want to push her away nor do I want to be a push over. I really have been struggling with fact that. I want her back sooo bad. In the beginning I played all wrong I begged and all that stuff that everyone says not to do. I have backed off but boy is it tough to know that the woman you love is out there more than likely with some other man. So I right now I have been trying to work on myself and being there for my kid. Should I be nice to her and give her what she wants or should I say you wanted to do it on your own do it!


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## Ilovemyfeelings (Oct 20, 2009)

503sfguy said:


> My W has been gone for a little more than 2 months now EA and I believe now a PA from the phone records its pretty obvious that she has been staying there. We have child together, so we are in contact with each other on a daily basis. She says she is staying with a friend for now but says she is going to get an apartment on her own(her friend is leaving the country in two months). I am almost positive that when she does not have our daughter that she is staying with OM. They work together and when she is staying with her friend its takes her an hour and a half to get to work. Anyway she is having problems getting an apartment due to lack of money her job just does not pay enough. She is learning to drive and plans on taking her driving test soon. We bought a car for her when we were together but i have not given it to her since she doesn't have her liciense yet and I caught her driving without it. She wants the car when she passes the test. I feel she should buy my half of the car from me. Since we were together and used our money to buy the car. We are in the process of a separation agreement. Anyway she asked me for a TV the other night she says for the kid to watch movies. Which I am okay with. I just dont know if I give her the car and TV and pots and pans she says she needs is this a sign of good hope or should I let her go out and get things on her own. After all she said that she needs to do this for herself. I dont want to push her away nor do I want to be a push over. I really have been struggling with fact that. I want her back sooo bad. In the beginning I played all wrong I begged and all that stuff that everyone says not to do. I have backed off but boy is it tough to know that the woman you love is out there more than likely with some other man. So I right now I have been trying to work on myself and being there for my kid. Should I be nice to her and give her what she wants or should I say you wanted to do it on your own do it!


Does she have other transportation? 

The way I see this YOU don't have to give her the car if it's NOT in her name too...but if it is.... then yes, I would have her to buy you out....but if she can't offered for an apartment ...how would she come up with this money? 

If she wants to leave she has to come up with her on money to make it on her own..but anything to do with the child you both have to meet in the middle...

So if she doesn't have a car...then the child stays with you or u give her the car because the child needs it......If she doesn't have a home.....the child stays with you.......she'll have to go get an attorney to get u to pay for child support and spousal support...

but if the child doesn't have a home...then you say she didn't have a home for the child....she will have to come up with a legal documents as to where the child's home is.....

If she can't provide a home and transportation then the child stays with you... 

that's my take on this....


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

Ok
you need to separate her 'practical' needs from your hopes for reconciliation. They are not connected. 

You guys need to sit down and come up with how you divide things up...it's a legal process - so can you get some legal advice first.

This will help you to work out what is fair - because you want to know that you are being fair - for your own sake and your childs. ALso you don't wnat your w to have any reason to feel bitter and angry. 

Will she come back because you help her? No...she'll only come back if she wants AFTER affair is over...and by then you will probably have moved on.


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## 503sfguy (Oct 15, 2009)

She does not have transportation. She takes the bus to work in the am which does not allow her time to drop off our child. The friend she is staying with is waking dress feeding and dropping off our child then picking her up in the pm. This is only happening on the days that our child id is with her mother. I have worked out a schedule that limits the amount of days that my child is there during the week. She is staying with a friend and saving money for the apt. The apartment mangers look to income not to how much she has in the bank. She is trying to get someone to co sign for her, but I dont think she is having any luck.


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