# Not Committed to Marriage (Article by a Man giving a Man's perspective)



## shy_guy

This may come as a shock to many, but I'm not committed to my marriage. Maybe it's because I'm male. Maybe it's just me. Maybe most people are like me - I don't know, but I've come to realize that I don't think about what we need to do to make this marriage work. I don't think about how we need to talk things out when one of us is being a knothead in order to have a healthy marriage. I never think about how it takes work to have a good marriage. In fact, thinking about those things is tiring. I can see why it would scare many people, and would seem like something that is strained and unsustainable.

I am committed to that lady I've been with for the last 27 years. I like to bring home things I know she needs. I like to bring things home that she may not need, but I know she'll like. I like accepting things from her because I know she likes doing the same thing for me. I like talking with her, and honestly, I like arguing with her sometimes as well - we get a lot of good ideas in those arguments. I like doing things I know she likes even though I don't always know what that is - usually, she has to tell me (I don't take hints well). 

I like how it always feels secure because even though she does things differently from how I would do them, she always has our family's best interests in mind. If she makes a mistake, that's okay - I know she'll correct it. It may cost us, but hey, I've made those kinds of mistakes as well. I can handle all of that because of that first statement - I am very secure in the knowedge that she always has our family's best interests in mind when she does what she does. That knowledge frees me up to do the things I need to do.

I'm not always the greatest at recognizing her emotional needs, but I am doing what I do because I am also thinking about what our family needs. I like that she understands that and encourages me to do that. I also like that she isn't afraid to tell me when she needs something - even if that need isn't material.

I like seeing her in the house when we are both home. I like hearing her voice whether she's singing while working, or scolding the dog for getting on the couch. I like how the tone of her voice changes if I hug her from behind while she's working and tell her I love her. I like how she teasingly uses exaggerated words of respect when she presents me with a perfectly cut apple or peach. I like how she smiles if I bring her a cup of tea. I like seeing her personality expressed in the decor of our house. I like how she thinks that some parts of the house should be decorated according to my taste. I like how she's not afraid of me and will disagree if needed, or will voice her opposition if I'm expecting too much from her. I do what I need to do to keep these things happening.

I'm not committed to my marriage. I'm committed to the woman I chose to love, and that committment is called "Marriage." That's not a matter of semantics in my mind. It's the difference between something that would be tiring and unsustainable and something that is natural, pleasant, and real. 

-- Shy_Guy


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## SimplyAmorous

shy_guy said:


> I like seeing her in the house when we are both home. I like hearing her voice whether she's singing while working, or scolding the dog for getting on the couch. I like how the tone of her voice changes if I hug her from behind while she's working and tell her I love her. I like how she teasingly uses exaggerated words of respect when she presents me with a perfectly cut apple or peach. I like how she smiles if I bring her a cup of tea. I like seeing her personality expressed in the decor of our house. I like how she thinks that some parts of the house should be decorated according to my taste. I like how she's not afraid of me and will disagree if needed, or will voice her opposition if I'm expecting too much from her. I do what I need to do to keep these things happening.


When I 1st started reading, I thought...What !...but that ending just did it all justice ....this paragragh points out all the "little things"... 

Today me & mine when out mundane old grocery Shopping, in the car , that old classic song came on ..."Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you Honey"...... I turned it up, started singing it with gusto, took his hand, we give each other those eyes, pretty much how we felt for many years in our youth.... later he told me he loves hearing me sing like that - which I do so often anyway-very common to be turning up the radio & getting carried away -but still so nice to hear he was feeling that .... but yeah....those little things.


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## 2sick

SimplyAmorous said:


> When I 1st started reading, I thought...What !...but that ending just did it all justice ....this paragragh points out all the "little things"...
> 
> Today me & mine when out mundane old grocery Shopping, in the car , that old classic song came on ..."Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you Honey"...... I turned it up, started singing it with gusto, took his hand, we give each other those eyes, pretty much how we felt for many years in our youth.... later he told me he loves hearing me sing like that - which I do so often anyway-very common to be turning up the radio & getting carried away -but still so nice to hear he was feeling that .... but yeah....those little things.


I absolutely love that song too, always have and always will (and you HAVE to sing it at full volume or it's just not the same)!!!

ShyGuy, you really got me going!! I couldn't believe what I was reading...Luckily I didn't stop!! I really wish that was EVERY man's (and woman's) perspective, marriage and life in general would be so much more meaningful! There would be so much more respect and understanding in the world. 

Cheers to your 27 and here's to 27 more!!!


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