# Can Porn Change the Male Psyche?



## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Can Porn Change the Male Psyche? - PolicyMic

Thoughts?


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## tilting (Jul 19, 2013)

its very easily available and too easy to get addicted to.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's been 9 months since I had sex, and it's already driven me nuts. I can't imagine how I would be if I didn't have porn!!!

As for changing my psyche... lol!
I still desire something else either than my blasted hand


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Is coffee addictive? Sure. 

Do we try to get people to stop drinking it? Only if they suffer ill consequences. 

You'll get as many answers to this question as you have people to open their mouth. Any one person's relationship with his pornography is unique. You want simple answers to complex problems? Sorry, you can't have them.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Cletus said:


> Is coffee addictive? Sure.
> 
> Do we try to get people to stop drinking it? Only if they suffer ill consequences.
> 
> You'll get as many answers to this question as you have people to open their mouth. Any one person's relationship with his pornography is unique. You want simple answers to complex problems? Sorry, you can't have them.


I'll give a simple answer.

Yes, porn can be very bad as it creates a reward system within viewing it. You view it and you wank and have the orgasm.

The reward system needs to actually being sleeping with a real lady.

By overdoing porn, you minimize your need to make rea life human contacts.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

treyvion said:


> I'll give a simple answer.
> 
> Yes, porn can be very bad as it creates a reward system within viewing it. You view it and you wank and have the orgasm.
> 
> ...


Your right. That was a simple answer.

And not even remotely universally applicable.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

This is a simple question with a simple answer.
We train our minds to respond to sexual stimuli all the time. First time I saw porn, I felt kind of sick.
Many porn sessions later, I could look at porn all day and respond sexually.
I formed an addiction (all sexual behavior is addictive ) and still struggle with it today. 
But I want to say that my wife and I agreed to not have it in our marriage. Some couples do agree to have porn as part of their sex play and it is part of what now stimulates them for sex because they are trained to respond to visuals of others engaged in sexual activities.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> It's been 9 months since I had sex, and it's already driven me nuts. I can't imagine how I would be if I didn't have porn!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lol...been there...


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

I don't think so, but then again I have never stoped watching porn since I turned 14 (I am 31 now), I did not became more perverted or needed porn with stronger and nasty images, If anything I learned alot of postures.

the difference is now that I have to hide it from my GF, becuase even if I now that is normal, and it don't change my feelings for her, she does not see it like that


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## FLman (Nov 6, 2013)

As a guy who was exposed to it fairly young, and has used it to pull myself through dry spells and actually really loving it i, I would say it can have some negative impact on a relationship or one's view about intimacy!
Here is some of my opinions;
-Boys and men can get conditioned by using porn and to expect that this is the way you have to be and do with a woman, creating frustration, expectations and resentment in their relationships, even at a young age.
-Old school way was a playboy (if you had access), imagination or both and masturbating...now its an unlimited buffet, immersing yourself for hours day in and day out, taking time away from more critical things...10 min becomes 2 hours!
-Same as video games, its starts distorting your view of reality, making men obscene, rude and uncomfortable around women!
-Men will not work as hard to win over a women, the mating ritual is
eliminated due too much more accessible outlet.
-In marriage or relationship some will try to elevate the thrill the way they see it on the screen by introducing other plays that could be devastation to the relationship. Usually some women will follow the whim of the man thinking it would also be exciting or they would just go along for the ride because of love.
-Women are usually much less experienced due to the lack of visual stimulation that boys get at an early life, so their concept of intimacy is much different than boys are, I think this disconnect at an early age can be very destructive at a later age when they settle down...men with the same views and women grown and realized what they really seek in a man, and its usually not down to business like the porn shows!
-The actual energy and hormones it takes away from marriage, if the man is tempted with visual stimulation he has a tendency to finish, and once it becomes a routine it becomes much easier and convenient than courting the wife around the house! This in tail will feel the wife inadequate in many ways!
-Sex is our natural instinct to bond with an individual, with conditioning we can see it in other ways, but in its pure form its the closeness you feel with your wife, thats why most wife will not put out and then the marriage is distress!


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

> -Men will not work as hard to win over a women, the mating ritual is
> eliminated due too much more accessible outlet.


This one bugged me. How much should you have to work and beg, buy gifts, take out, agree with and such things before you are worthy to get what others have been given with little or no actual work? 

Touched a nerve. I'm not angry with you. I'm just frustrated. 

Much of the rest of what you have written, I agree with.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

ntamph said:


> Can Porn Change the Male Psyche? - PolicyMic
> 
> Thoughts?


I think that the author of the article just needs to get some new friends. Basing a conclusion on talking to a handful of your own friends is not exactly top-notch science or even journalism.

My bet is the answer you'd get after exhaustive and controlled research would be: sometimes.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

I can do you one better. My marriage has been sexless for 20 years. For me porn is a godsend. I stay on for the kids but without porn I would probably have left..... kids or no kids, years ago.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I think anything taken to the extreme is a worry. 

Anything that becomes an obsession.

If I start counting my fingers...endlessly.... all day...and all night and all day and all night and all day and all night...it would [email protected] up my relationships if it didn't stop...right?

Same for the person who uses porn in this way...every day...too often... and finds it's effecting other relationships or work or hobbies.

Anything that gives pleasure can be addictive.... we just need to maintain some level of personal control...IMO.

Most of us can have a drink of alcohol and not become a drunk.
Most of us can look at porn and not become addicted or badly effected.

Surely??????


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## Antman (Oct 19, 2013)

I'm sure there is no correct answer here but my experience is this:
When my wife and I first met, sex was every night and some mornings.
As with most couples, there is a certain ebb and flow in our relationship.
I need to orgasm at least once a day, so if she ain't doing it for me, I am - enter porn.
So, at one point, a morning masturbatory session became a habit, with the help of porn.
Eventually, I started rejecting my wife on the grounds that I was too tired. What I should have said is "I've already had sex today with 2 random women ".
Lolz.
Basically, at that point she began to think I was having an affair. And she was right. My affair was with random women in porn on the net.
Does it change the psyche? I don't know, but it certainly fills a gap in a relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

I think all sexual experiences shape one's sexuality. Whether the impact of porn is 'harmful' or not depends on the nature of its use (obviously).

Having sex with other people also shapes your sexuality. Is the impact on one's sexuality of having sex with others harmful? Obviously like porn use, it depends on the nature of that sexual experience.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Studies would indicate that it does (particularly on young, inexperienced men), but those who are addicted will say that it doesn't.

Another factor is the effects it can have on the female psyche. On a primal level, many women (not all) cannot differentiate between porn and cheating. Many (not all) also feel that it somehow devalues their own sexuality, and the regular use of it can, therefore, impact badly on intimate relationships.


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## MrDarkDream (Jan 12, 2013)

Maybe I misunderstood the question but I took it to mean as whether watching too much porn could shape the expectations I would have from women? The answer to that is yes if you don't realize that porn movies are fake. Some men would actually think that if they were the pizza delivery guy that a hot woman with no money might answer the door and pay them in other ways (some movies should come with a don't try this at home warning). Men like that would be more susceptible than men who realize it is fantasy and shouldn't have those expectations.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

My H says no way. He's been watching since he was 12 years old, and he says it is just a masturbatory aid and in no way affects how he feels about me.

I say: he does not and will not, no matter how much I beg or entice, engage in foreplay, no matter what, expecting me to just be ready whenever he is. I've seen him get giddy with delight when I'm going out, and have come home to see that he's been watching porn. 

He swears that this viewing doesn't impact his desire for me, and that he doesn't choose it over me. Just that sometimes he doesn't want sex because he's old and tired.

And lately, he seems to be having a hard time getting up. For me, that is.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

always_alone said:


> My H says no way. He's been watching since he was 12 years old, and he says it is just a masturbatory aid and in no way affects how he feels about me.
> 
> I say: he does not and will not, no matter how much I beg or entice, engage in foreplay, no matter what, expecting me to just be ready whenever he is. I've seen him get giddy with delight when I'm going out, and have come home to see that he's been watching porn.
> 
> ...


He has geared his mind to respond to the porn with sexual arousal but not you. I used to be addicted to porn but over the years I have retrained my mind to respond sexually to my wife. 
I now almost can't get an erection without her being present and her lightest touches or even me just talking to her can cause an erection. I have rewired my mind to be aroused by her.

Your husband needs to quit trying to get lucky with his hand and develop some real game for you!


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## Aule (Aug 20, 2012)

I think the OP puts Descartes before de horse.

Porn is present to service an existing need. My only issue with it is that most of it is far more crassly portrayed than necessary. I myself prefer Joymii when it comes to it... couples friendly gentle and loving stuff.

You can no more blame porn for undesireable behavior in men that you could blame guns for killing people. Were porn not present, men would find some other outlet.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Porn is very addictive. See all those very hot women, wearing sexy outfits, hot bodies, really getting into the sex, would get any guy hooked fast. Men are very visual, so we see a hot woman and BAMMM.

Porn only when I'm extremely in the mood and my wife usually isn't, so I relieve myself instead of going out and getting into trouble.......


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## Gonnabealright (Oct 24, 2013)

I thought of my porn use as something that kept from doing something stupid too especially when her affair started and I wasn't getting any. Of course I didn't know about the affair at the time. My stbxw was ok with me using porn and we talked about it. There were times when I told her I was spent already and did not have sex. I have always used porn and honestly if I dated a women that didn't approve I might say I would give it up but I think I would need help to stay away. For the moment I am content with it. 
Sex got boring for me after my stbxw told me she didn't want kids after to agreeing to it during our engagement. It became more of leisure activity or recreational which I was still ok with doing once a week at least. I did turn her away and she did resent me for it. Maybe it could have made a difference? She said a lot of things and acted differently. I'm not saying it was the cause of our divorce but I think it played a part.


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## FLman (Nov 6, 2013)

Gonnabealright said:


> I thought of my porn use as something that kept from doing something stupid too especially when her affair started and I wasn't getting any. Of course I didn't know about the affair at the time. My stbxw was ok with me using porn and we talked about it. There were times when I told her I was spent already and did not have sex. I have always used porn and honestly if I dated a women that didn't approve I might say I would give it up but I think I would need help to stay away. For the moment I am content with it.
> Sex got boring for me after my stbxw told me she didn't want kids after to agreeing to it during our engagement. It became more of leisure activity or recreational which I was still ok with doing once a week at least. I did turn her away and she did resent me for it. Maybe it could have made a difference? She said a lot of things and acted differently. I'm not saying it was the cause of our divorce but I think it played a part.


Im realizing the same, as a guy if I was in love with a girl, and she behaved the same way and got off looking at images instead of spending time with me, how would I feel, I know us guys there is a pleasure seeking side and a need, but cannot deny it can be damaging...


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

FLman said:


> Im realizing the same, as a guy if I was in love with a girl, and she behaved the same way and got off looking at images instead of spending time with me, how would I feel, I know us guys there is a pleasure seeking side and a need, but cannot deny it can be damaging...


I've done it in a relationship when I was younger. Fantasizing about "lustier" porn babes over my then wife. I was young and thinking I was missing out, had a very good and fulfilled sex life at the time too, it was the fantasy of some of the acts and hornier babes that took my attention away, it is bad!

Later in life I learned it was fun to focus on the one, so your not distracted on porn which bleeds down your drive for the real thing, your not looking at a hundred babes in skirts, you desire and lust after your significant other and all your energies are directed there. Thats alot of lust!


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

My H and I watched Don Jon last night (The one with Joseph Gordon-Levitt). H said it hit home 100% for him. For those who haven't seen it yet, Levitt plays a porn addict who prefers porn over actual sex, even though he is having sex on a daily basis with random women. He loses track of time, constantly thinks of getting home to watch porn, watches on his phone at school...etc. When having sex with real women, he complains that BJs aren't long enough or good enough, the women aren't enthusiastic enough. He gets into a long term relationship, she finds out, she leaves. He begins to talk to another women, an older lady and she sort of introduces him to "real sex" and sort of asks him if he's ever just tried to stop porn. The thought never occurred to him. When he did stop, he realized he enjoyed sex a lot more and it didn't have to be 9 different positions/oral/anal/etc. 

Anyway, Internet porn sort of screws with real sex. What I mean is, the women in porn are "hot and ready to go" as soon as a dude touches her ass and treats her like a sl!t. Problem is, a lot of women don't appreciate that all of the time. We aren't always racing to go as soon as a finger touches our thigh. Sorry. 

Yes. There are times when we just want it now, but more often than not, flirting, playing, and taking your time will get your further. Porn women don't need all of that. They are already good to go. Some men seem to think that all they need to do is kiss for a second and BOOM she should be on your piece like it's going to disappear soon and she needs it NOW. Real life isn't like that. Especially after marriage and kids. 

I have 3 kids and still want sex daily, but my H is a D bag to the max. Nothing will please him no matter what I do or how often I want it. That would be because he is under the impression that all women are photo shopped and get insta wet even though he hasn't showered in a day and a half. Ugh. Thanks Internet porn. 

I don't care about porn. Really. As long as the guy can realize that I am real, and he is willing to take the time to have sex with a REAL woman, then great! But I do believe it can give a false sense of reality to some.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

There's porn and there's porn.

Consider any movie "with a plot" that has a serous erotic content and can be watched by a couple versus the more hardcore stuff like Linda Lovelace et. all versus cable TV soft stuff that shows infinite supplies of silicon vixen but no real sex...

So the answer is, as always, a big "it depends".


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I had a real problem a couple of years back. It was beginning to effect me physically in several different ways. I recognized this and backed off and then one day realized I had not watched any for a couple of months. I have no desire to back and my other issues have gone away. I cannot imagine there is not anything I have not seen at this point that I need to see.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> It's been 9 months since I had sex, and it's already driven me nuts. I can't imagine how I would be if I didn't have porn!!!
> 
> As for changing my psyche... lol!
> I still desire something else either than my blasted hand


If you are not still married there are many options and as I've said before if you are married............well I would probably get unmarried at this point. You seem to never have sex in any of your threads ;(


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

MrDarkDream said:


> Maybe I misunderstood the question but I took it to mean as whether watching too much porn could shape the expectations I would have from women? The answer to that is yes if you don't realize that porn movies are fake. Some men would actually think that if they were the pizza delivery guy that a hot woman with no money might answer the door and pay them in other ways (some movies should come with a don't try this at home warning). Men like that would be more susceptible than men who realize it is fantasy and shouldn't have those expectations.


Ha ... well, I work for a company that does home installs. It is not common but not unheard of for our techs to get offers ... that is the rumor anyway but even though its kept quiet, I know for certain one guy who got fired for taking it up.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

staarz21 said:


> ...but my H is a D bag to the max.


Your problem is not porn, -it is that your husband is a D bag and would still be one even if porn did not exist.

I wonder what the real rate of addiction is to porn? I would assume it is like other addictive substances effecting 1-20% of the population. 

Addiction being defined as -uncontrolled and creating a problem rather than just regular use.

Porn does not affect my desire or expectations. I do like oral sex but I think that has been around for a long time before modern porn. 

Masturbation does of course affect my sexual response and most likely visual stimulation can become a cue to be aroused. 

I see it as compromise. Having sex only once a week would be about as fun as an all broccoli diet except for one meal a week.

I certainly do not mind controlling my caloric intake but unlike high calorie foods, sex is actually good for you and does not make you fat.

My theory is that like other addictions the people who abuse porn have other problems and porn is just a convenience for them.


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## HappyandInLove (Oct 13, 2011)

I have read studies that show that porn affects the brain the same as heroin or other hard drugs. The same pleasure centres will light up but just like drugs the more you are exposed to the more it takes for the pleasure centres to light up. This is not just for men it can change a females Brian as well. 

If porn is used in a healthy relationship I don't think there is an issue with it. However I done member of the relationship is not okay with it,t can wreak havoc. Like the others have said.... Issues with self esteem for the non viewing participant. And unrealistic expectations for the viewer. Not to say this is the case for everyone....


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