# Question for the guys



## quiesedba (Apr 19, 2015)

What the f*ck were you thinking when you got married? I was a dumbass and young and stupid..... 

Exception money , lots of money


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

What was I thinking?

Lust.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* 
 Wife No. 1 - That I was getting on up there in years(33) and really wanted to start a family, and at the same time, have a steady squeeze who loved me back! Translation: I actually married an over-educated, bi-polar, corporate-climbing psycho!

 Wife No. 2(RSXW)- That I was going to be married to a bright, loyal, gregarious Texas Aggie gal who simply loved to screw, and to boot was financially loaded! Translation: She was all of those things ... and even more! Except that I found out that she also loved to screw other men and was, in reality, a selfish "biatch" who had no trouble in permitting her very own teenage kids to distribute, smoke and eat dope, all to their hearts content; all while Mama footed their legal defense bills all before they were either being sent to the county lockup or copping a plea before our "across-the-street" neighbor who was the presiding county judge!!*


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

What? I would lay down my life for her.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Baby bells and the resulting panic


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## quiesedba (Apr 19, 2015)

this might turn into the most honest thread on this board... i encourage my sons to be monogamous for health reasons but do not get married terrible contract...


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

I love her.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

I thought that I found the "special" one. Little did I realize it was a special kind of crazy! Haha

I married her because I loved her and I really thought we would spend the rest of our lives together happy. Hey we all have silly dreams now don't? We all believed in Santa Claus too once.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## quiesedba (Apr 19, 2015)

honcho said:


> I thought that I found the "special" one. Little did I realize it was a special kind of crazy! Haha
> 
> I married her because I loved her and I really thought we would spend the rest of our lives together happy. Hey we all have silly dreams now don't? We all believed in Santa Claus too once.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


At least now you have seen the truth...... BTW love is an illusion like religion


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I'd known her for 6 years and we have been living together so marriage didn't change much. 

I was in love, and still am. Other that the LD/HD issues (which are getting better right now) we really are extremely happy together.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

My wife was my college sweetheart. We got married young (about 2 years after college). No regrets, would do again in a heartbeat. Marriage is not for everyone, but that doesn't mean there aren't people who can actually make it work.

As far as my kids, I hope my wife and I serve as a great example. If they eventually find someone they really care about and want to spend their life with, more power to them. One thing I will really push on them though, do not just settle for the sake of settling, if you don't find that "one" it is ok. Also, take $hit from no one, if your SO can't treat you right kick their ass to the curb (advice for both my sons' and my daughter). I will probably push this advice a bit harder on my sons (my sons and I can take things into our own hands if a guy doesn't treat my daughter right )


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## quiesedba (Apr 19, 2015)

I agree marriage does work for some.... and I guess that's fine


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

She made me an ultimatum. Either marry or leave me.

I chose the former because I loved her. Foolish and naive, I didn't listen to what my parents saw.

I think though, now looking back, I had a lot of fear inside. Fear of losing her and fear of being alone. 

I have since learned that good is not great and there is always better.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

It wasn't lust for me. 
It wasn't money.
It wasn't fear of being alone.

I wanted to be married and have kids. 
I wanted a companion who was also a best friend.
I wanted to love and be loved.
I felt marriage was the best way to do all that. 
I wanted those things with her, specifically.

10 years later it blew up because neither of us knew how to maintain it.
However, I still don't regret it.


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## quiesedba (Apr 19, 2015)

dont feel bad it aways blows up, you either live with it or divorce but it always changes.... I never wanted to be married and have kids.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *
> Wife No. 1 - That I was getting on up there in years(33) and really wanted to start a family, and at the same time, have a steady squeeze who loved me back! Translation: I actually married an over-educated, bi-polar, corporate-climbing psycho!
> 
> Wife No. 2(RSXW)- That I was going to be married to a bright, loyal, gregarious Texas Aggie gal who simply loved to screw, and to boot was financially loaded! Translation: She was all of those things ... and even more! Except that I found out that she also loved to screw other men and was, in reality, a selfish "biatch" who had no trouble in permitting her very own teenage kids to distribute, smoke and eat dope, all to their hearts content; all while Mama footed their legal defense bills all before they were either being sent to the county lockup or copping a plea before our "across-the-street" neighbor who was the presiding county judge!!*


Aggies.....don't tell me you never heard the jokes?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

I found one that could keep up. 

That was a pretty tall order in and of itself. 

So far so good


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

MarriedDude said:


> arbitrator said:
> 
> 
> > *
> ...


* Aggies are a close knit academic institution! Both of my sons went there, with the youngest one getting his Aggie Ring this fall, then probably heading on off to Seminary for graduate study!

Regarding Aggie jokes, Aggies just seem to love'em more than anybody!

And regarding being married to my rich, skanky XW, well I suppose that "that Aggie joke" is on me!
*


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

MarriedDude said:


> I found one that could keep up.
> 
> That was a pretty tall order in and of itself.
> 
> So far so good


What's up with your avatar, dude?


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

zillard said:


> I wanted to be married and have kids.
> I wanted a companion who was also a best friend.
> I wanted to love and be loved.
> I felt marriage was the best way to do all that.
> I wanted those things with her, specifically.


This^^^ There were some issues but I naively thought that enough love could fix things. Wrong. I was so unprepared for someone with a personality disorder.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I was 28 when I met my ex. I had been in a serious relationship when I was younger but knew I was not ready. I spent about 6 years carousing, whoring, drinking and generally just sowing my wild oats.
When I met my ex I was tired of it. I wanted to get on with my life. I wanted a family, I wanted a home, I wanted stability. I thought I had found my answer when I met her.
She was younger, recently divorced, had a young son. But she seemed to be the most real person I had ever met. 
She was focused on what needed to be done but still had dreams. I shared those dreams and tried to fulfill them for her.
We both changed. I had several life changing events. I almost physically died and then about 8 years later I almost died financially. She supported me thru the first issue but not thru the changes I felt I needed to make. She did not support me at all thru the second. It went down hill from there.
My daughter and my son are products of our marriage and I would never change that. Both are extremely successful. My only want for either of them is to be happy.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I had met my best friend. Someone who was adventurous, smart, beautiful, athletic. She was interested in the same things, and had the same values, as I. We were a perfect match.

Unfortunately she kept some important secrets from me, and she had some rules in her template of relationships which are incompatible with mine. But she kept this hidden from me. So we weren't a perfect match. Maybe a 95% match, but the other 5% was really incompatible. I just didn't know it at the time.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

quiesedba said:


> What the f*ck were you thinking when you got married? I was a dumbass and young and stupid.....
> 
> Exception money , lots of money



Love, home, children, lifetime together, happiness, security, fulfillment. I have received all and enjoy these finer things in life. 

Marriage is not for all.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The first time, it was love (unfortunately, she was checking boxes rather than feeling any passion) and naively buying into the idea of the standard social contract for enhancing life success and happiness. IMO, both were wrong then, and the standard social contract is deeply flawed and biased. The second time it was (and is) love and extraordinary compatibility, and while neither of us buy into the standard concept of marriage, it has some pragmatic socially engineered benefits we took advantage of while designing our marriage to suit ourselves and not follow the standard social contract. Neither of us are naïve this time around, and this time it's working for both of us.


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## daysgoneby (Aug 31, 2013)

I thought i'd get laid more....lol Boy was I stupid, on the bright side my boy's will be warned of this myth.


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

Wife #1 (@24)- I was young, dumb, thought I was an ugly troll, and that no one better would have me. :banghead:

Wife #2 (@48) - "This is the girl I always wished I had found... only 15 years younger than the one that got away" :grin2:


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