# Need to know where we stand



## unloved (Feb 17, 2010)

Things are good. Sex is good. So what's the problem?

I have a strong need to talk to him about where we stand. 

Ever since we almost divorced and he ultimately decided to start having sex with me again - we haven't talked about it. He hasn't expressed his love for me again in words although he has shown he cares for me by his actions.

6 months have passed and I need to know if his feelings for me are changing for the good, that this isn't temporary, that he wants to grow old with me. I'm afraid to have this conversation since I fear it will cause a backslide and open up old resentments. I'm afraid of what he might say. I'm afraid to screw up a currently good thing.

OK, now can you see how we went 6 years without sex and achieved roomate status? We are obviously extreme conflict avoiders. lol

Advice on how to go about this or if I should wait a while longer. Or if I should even bring it up at all. Thanks.


----------



## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

This sounds exactly the way you most likely got in this situation. Yes communication, communication, communication! He may be thinking the exact same thing but you will never know until you ask. I have learned (through a failed marriage) that if you do not speak up then the spouse assumes many things.


----------



## Dave321 (Aug 4, 2010)

:iagree:Thats right.Watch how you do this, don't do it in threating way where he thinks he got to lash out with pain.:iagree:Let us know how it goes.Good luck.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Maybe he felt that he was all talk and no action before, now he's gone to the other extreme. He needs to find that happy medium.


----------



## unloved (Feb 17, 2010)

Still haven't found the right time and way to approach him about this. I don't know what I'm so afraid of.


----------



## jmsclayton (Sep 5, 2010)

HI Unloved. 

What do you think your afraid of? 

Judith


----------

