# Getting Slapped in the Face During Sex



## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

Some of you may know of my story from previous postings about the volatile marriage I had (14 months married, dated for only 5 months before getting married, and left after she called the cops and stated she was in 'fear of her life' because I had guns in the house). There were numerous other issues with her controlling nature, refusal to accept responsibility for her actions, rage, non-compromising attitude, etc. Essentially a self-entitled 'princess' that felt I 'owed' her.

But one thing that happened early on still haunts me and I'm wondering what other women have to say about this.

After our engagement party, my ex and I retired to our room and started fooling around, began having sex and during the middle of it, she slaps me in the face. It wasn't hard enough to sting, but the act of it caught me completely off guard. 

The next day I brought it up, but in typical fashion like most of her future transgressions, she just chalked it up to "I was drunk" and it "wasn't that hard of a slap...take it like a man". I told her I wasn't okay with her doing that and would never slap her in her face (her bottom while doing it doggy-style, well....but she seemed to like the dominance aspect of that  )

This happened twice during our short marriage. I sometimes look back and hindsight being 20/20, wish I had seen the signs then before taking the plunge. 

So my question is: Was I being just too sensitive or was this just a precursor to the fact that she didn't respect me or most of the men in her life? (I later found out her longest relationship was only a year -- one was long distance that lasted 18 months. She lied when we were discussing this pre-marriage by stating she had several long-term relationships). 

So ladies, what's your take?

P.S. During our honeymoon, she got drunk again, hit me and I left her in our room. Spent the evening having dinner by myself at an all-couples resort (talk about feeling weird!), and wondering what I had gotten myself into.


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

That's just plain weird. I would never slap my husband in the face during sex. And the fact that when you told her this was unacceptable to you and she blew you off about it AND did it twice again later says she had NO respect for you. I'm sorry that you went through all of that with her, but at least it was relatively short lived. That woman sounds a little psychotic, IMO.


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> That's just plain weird. I would never slap my husband in the face during sex. And the fact that when you told her this was unacceptable to you and she blew you off about it AND did it twice again later says she had NO respect for you. I'm sorry that you went through all of that with her, but at least it was relatively short lived. That woman sounds a little psychotic, IMO.


We went through MC for about 10 sessions. Our final session concluded with our MC stating that "maybe you two shouldn't be married". 

Part of that stemmed from her giving away a brand new crock-pot I purchased prior to our marriage and she wouldn't acknowledge actually having given it away. It was her typical, "deny, deflect or dismiss". It was never about the crock-pot itself, it was her inability to recognize my desire and wish to get it back (my desires felt like they were always secondary to her wishes). Our MC was dumbfounded that I was making an issue of it but I disagree. 

When we moved in together after we were married, I sold so much of my 'stuff' (including my home to which she contributed very little in preparing to sell but was right there when the check was cut and demanded it be placed into our joint checking account). 

I'm thankful that we're now divorced as I realize that unless I succumbed to HER wishes, there'd be a fight about it. I got tired of walking around on egg shells, feeling like a stranger in our home and constantly trying to make her happy, only to be chastised or criticized when I didn't do it 'her way'. 

Maybe the slap in the face was a portent of thing to come....and I absolutely agree with you. She didn't respect me nor any of the things I brought into the relationship. She viewed it as what she was 'owed' in the marriage. I look back on the fact that she was a very angry, controlling person. The slap in the face was probably just one segment of it.

P.S. And yes, I realize how beta I was behaving. Won't happen again as I doubt I'll want to marry again. I've seen far too many women who want a man to fix their issues or provide them happiness and when they do, they take them for granted and start looking for others to fulfill their 'needs'.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I would say slapping someone on the face (even if it is lightly) is really disrespectful (unless was talked about and consented before sex).
The fact that you didn't like it and she blew it off instead of apologizing is pretty much saying she doesn't care what you thought or felt about what she did (plus saying 'take it like a man' is bs).


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

If my husband slapped me, I would consider it physical abuse.


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## imsohurt (May 13, 2013)

Daddy issues man...or sex abuse issues....take it like a man? WTF..so men are supposed to endure punishment why?

Isn't it amazing the blaring in your face little signs you sweep under the rug while you live in fantasy land...and later look back on...

If that was me....knowing what I know now...there would be an immediate request for 'paperwork' regarding that situation....like from a therapist trying to root the origin of it...

My ex didn't like to cuddle a man....she believed a man should cuddle her...she never held or hugged me....turns out her daddy was alky who never held her cuddled her....in fact in 3 years I never saw but only one simple embrace between the two....there was never any deep hugging or holding....

Dad issues I would suspect...there is deep anger there man....

I felt like some kind of suss for wanting to be held and hugged....she always wanted to get banged really hard.....which I tried to do until my balls became numb.....but it was like a drug....she held less and less...and wanted to bang harder and harder....

There was something masochistic about it really...at first I was like wow...never with a woman who wanted me to go as hard as I could...felt like I had hit some jackpot....then I realized that she would never meet on the cuddling and softer side....so it was an issue....hope her new man pounds her brains out...she left for a daddy 2x her age....


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