# Cheaters and Technology Article



## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

"Two Thirds Of Cheaters Would Stay Faithful If It Weren't For Technology, Survey Suggests"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/12/cheating-survey-suggests_n_4262331.html


What do you think blame the technology? Or should we advocate more integerity and personal responsiblity in this soceity?


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I do believe that if it had not been for the internet my wife would not have cheated in 1999, 2010 and then from 2011 till 2013. 

Why do I say that?

The internet allows folks to be invisible from their spouse. They can create secret accounts. My wife did that. She allowed herself to "look". And she did this with purpose. For her to go out and find someone at a mall or a bar would not had happened (IMO). I am not saying it could not had happened but I believe the internet allowed her to do it. Is it the internet's fault? No. She did it willingly. But it is very easy.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

Thorburn said:


> I do believe that if it had not been for the internet my wife would not have cheated in 1999, 2010 and then from 2011 till 2013.
> 
> Why do I say that?
> 
> The internet allows folks to be invisible from their spouse. They can create secret accounts. My wife did that. She allowed herself to "look". And she did this with purpose. For her to go out and find someone at a mall or a bar would not had happened (IMO). I am not saying it could not had happened but I believe the internet allowed her to do it. Is it the internet's fault? No. She did it willingly. But it is very easy.


I think you're right, the internet definitely facilitates affairs that wouldn't have transpired so easily otherwise.

On the flip side, the internet also helps you find out just what the fawk your spouse is up to...a real eye-opener.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I think modern technology makes it easier and more convenient to cheat. But plenty of people managed it just fine for millennia before the advent of our current crop of gizmos. 

And not every cheater uses technology. My ex-husband was fond of one night stands. No tech required. The few longer term arrangements were fairly easy to catch because everything was recorded on text logs or emails. If he were more tech savy those things probably wouldn't have been so easy to access. Then again, if he'd used a landline telephone, I might never have known.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Besides Technology I also believe that Society is conditioned thru commercials, tv shows, movies etc to go with the flow or whatever makes you happy.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

tulsy said:


> I think you're right, the internet definitely facilitates affairs that wouldn't have transpired so easily otherwise.
> 
> *On the flip side, the internet also helps you find out just what your spouse is up to...a real eye-opener.*


*But when you have an overly-trusting, naive spouse, much like myself, that didn't even have the first damn clue as to what my WW was up to, and then only to discover it late into our post-separation, then what can I say?*


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> *But when you have an overly-trusting, naive spouse, much like myself, that didn't even have the first damn clue as to what my WW was up to, and then only to discover it late into our post-separation, then what can I say?*


Exactly. You expect your spouse to follow the rules. Man, we got played. The very things that are part of a good M are the very things our WS use against us. Trust is just one example. My wife thought I would just believe her lies, because I trust her to be faithful.


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## hopefulgirl (Feb 12, 2013)

While on a business trip, my husband started his EA by reaching out to the OW via a late night text message. 

I've examined the phone records, and there were very few phone calls but lots of texts. 

The all time high number of texts in one day for them (well over 100) was on the day before they got together at a hotel for their first tryst.

There was a clear escalation of texting (no doubt a lot of sexting) up to that day.

The thing started and was fueled by text messaging. It's much easier to carry on in secret when you're at work - and even at home - when using text messages as opposed to talking on the phone. My husband's affair would probably not have happened without texting.


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## DoveEnigma13 (Oct 31, 2013)

In my case it would not have prevented it. She met the OM at work, and they spent a lot of time together while at work without technology.

It facilitated it after work, but was not the cause of, nor was it essential for their affair.


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