# Nattu Khattu's Thread



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Starting a new thread just for you, based on post #351 on land's thread.



> Sounds like my story just add a 2.9 year old kid to it. I am feeling ****** but have to put on a bold face for my son. I am posted in India and my wife thought she couldn't live here and so moved to spend time with her parents to a different country. I supported her all along as i understand India could be a difficult country. the affair should be about 3 months old but discovered it 1 week back. Since she was in the afffair all i heard from her was "I love you but am not in love with you". This is an office affair.
> 
> I cant approach the CEO or the HR of her office as the person she is having an affair is with THE CEO. I have contacted him he denied and the affair continues. Next day sent him a cease and desist mail to end the affair (with copies of his SMS and hr long calls to my wife) which he is not responded to.
> 
> ...


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

> After she got to know i exposed it to her "CEO" she hates me and blames me for everything. I have taken care of the kid for the last 2.9 yrs. I am unable to get in touch with her "CEO's" wife I wish could but not working.


A little advice to start: in reality you have not exposed it to her lover (he is already fully aware of it, eh?) - you CONFRONTED him - and hopefully requested that he end the affair.

Exposure means that you uncover the affair, let it be seen by those to whom the 'lovers' (awful use of that word!) have lied. It is an uncovering of the secret. 

Regarding being unable to approach her 'lover' is not as big a problem as you might expect: in pretty much every affair, the cheaters are highly unlikely to stop because a hurt spouse asks them to. The only way this would be effective is if the Other Man (or Woman) is unaware that a marriage exists. In that case, hearing from the wounded spouse can be quite effective. 

So don't pursue that avenue any farther - he isn't going to pay any attention to you anyway - especially if your wife has already described you as controlling, manipulative, and unloving. He'll just perceive anything you say through the filter that has been set up by your wife.

On the other hand, contacting the HR department is a VERY good idea. They are very sensitive to the threat of sexual misconduct by their employees, and will take at least some steps that can create stress for the 'lovers'. Nothing stops you from contacting them - it is irrelevant if he is their boss: the business will be unwilling to avoid legal matters.

You can also keep investigating the CEO's life to find his wife. Diligence can pay off here.



> She says she now is convinced that she needs a divorce as i was never a good husband and now have brought her shame.


Guilt is a great way to manipulate you! If she can make this be all your fault, you'll back off and let her keep cheating on her husband. I can only wonder what kind of shame a cheating wife brings a faithful husband! 

This is an example of what we call 'foggy' or 'dizzy' thinking: she's reversed reality to justify her affair. She can (and will) say all kinds of absurd things. 

If she does bring this up, you can always turn this on her - if she says how you've brought shame on her, reply by admitting how shameful it is to have a cheating wife. 



> She threatened to call my parents to let them know that she cant live with me any more and would file a divorce. I spoke about this to my mum and called my wife back the next day and handed the phone to my mum so she could have a word but my wife hung up.


This is excellent. You called her bluff. At the same time, you have exposed the affair to your parents. This creates stress on her - she won't be able to use them against you, which is often a necessity to keep an affair active.



> I found that this guy was checking and reading my mails to my wife. So sent him and my wife this morning an email mentioning that he should stop reading my emails.


Stop emailing this guy! Stop talking to him at all! There is no way this will help you - and in fact, may be doing more harm than good. Send emails to your wife _knowing_ that he will read them. Make them loving and kind, talk about the things the kids are doing, etc. Do not plead, or beg, or threaten - simply relate things from home. Let him read you emails to her talking about all the nice stuff you are doing. That can be a two-edged sword - she'll hear stuff she is missing, and he'll be describing how nice things are with you. My guess is that he'll stop reading them quickly enough.

Advice: Stop concentrating on him and concentrate on your marriage. Ignore him, he is a distraction, a gnat, not worthy of your notice.



> In this whole process i have not got in touch with my wife, all i did was sent her a mail saying she is always welcome provided she comes out of her fantasy land and says sorry to out son for what she has been doing. I will be doing a few more exposures tomorrow.


Instead of requesting that she come out of her fantasy and apologize, try this instead: respectfully request that she end the affair, and that her home is open as long as she agrees to these three non-negotiable conditions: 1) She writes her boss a 'No Contact' letter which _you_ read and _you _mail. This means she'll have to quit her job (non-negotiable) 2) You both agree to transparent honesty (all passwords, log-ins, etc. shared. 3) You both commit to working on your marriage.

She'll most likely laugh at that - but that is irrelevant. Those things are necessary if you wish to remain married. And if the affair dies, and she wants to return - _those conditions will still remain_. At that point she'll be reconsidering them. 

Your job (regarding those conditions) is to simply make them known and keep them non-negotiable. Don't push them on her, but always take the opportunity to restate them whenever situations change.

Here's something to keep in mind: you cannot work on your marriage while an affair is ongoing. This means that right now, your job is to do all you can to end that affair.

Here is a series of steps you can take that are very effective - look them over.



> He is himself married with two kids and is married for 12 yrs. I wanted to let my wife know that he is trying to be more controlling than i ever was because she accused me of this.


While she is deep in the dizziness of her affair, she will not listen AT ALL to any rational reasoning. You will not be able to logically help the affair end by pointing out these things. Logic is essential, of course - any other way of acting will mean the death of your marriage - but you must, right now, be reasoning with the understanding that she is filtering EVERYTHING you say in a way that justifies her affair. And, more to the point: calling you controlling is STANDARD cheater script.


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

I have started with Operation Exposure. I spoke to her brother in law about this last night and emailed about this affair to her sister. 

I also spoke to my God Mother and she should be calling her to find out what she has been up to. 

In all this what i found out is she has been talking about me to her relatives and friends in a very bad light. Accusing me of things i havn't done and blaming me about everything that's gone wrong in this marriage. I agree i have my set of faults but not all. I am working on them to ensure i am able to bring in a positive change. 

I am doing all i cant to get in touch with the OM's wife. No break through yet. 

Before i talk to her about The No contact letter i would like to wait and see the effect of the exposures i did would impact her. 

I am ready to wait and do all it takes to make this marriage work.


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## iamnottheonlyone (May 9, 2010)

As you have found out, one of the added benfits of exposure is you get the truth out. You may very well beat her to the punch and save your reputation. I did. I followed AC's and T's advice. All those people remain my friends. She has chosen to lose them and ignore them as nothing she could say to them would be believed. Also she didn't want to hear how wrong and immature she is.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Then call her relatives and set them straight. "I understand X has been telling you things about me, and I'd like to set the record straight. Ask me anything you want, and I'll tell you the truth. And part of the truth is that the reason she's telling you these things is that she's having an affair with her boss. She's trying to paint me as the bad guy so she has a 'reason' to cheat. But I'm trying to save our marriage, and I can only do that if she stops the affair. So I'm hoping you'll help me by talking to her about it, so she'll see it's not the exciting cool thing she thinks it is, but rather embarrassing and wrong."


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

Still trying to get hold of this OM wife's number but no luck yet. I am very sure that once she comes to know about this affair she will get her husband to fire my wife. 

I am told that one of our common friend who was on her BBM list was deleted /blocked by my wife because he supports my stand. She had called our other common friend and denied that she is having an affair. I have just sent our common friend the details of the call logs and her text msg let her judge it for her self on who is saying the truth. 

Thanks for your advice i have emailed her family saying i am ready to face them and answer all their queries so we all know what the truth is. I haven't heard back from them yet but i hope they will support me on this. 

All i can say at this stage its frustrating and painful. What i also fear at times is she may take my exposure as an act of revenge and hate me further....


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## land2634 (Jun 7, 2010)

She will be angry, but what's the alternative? She gets to live the secret lifestyle behind your back while you suffer the consequences? The thing I ended up asking my wife when she was angry about me exposing was that if what she had was so wonderful, then why did she want it to be a secret?



Nattu_Khattu said:


> Still trying to get hold of this OM wife's number but no luck yet. I am very sure that once she comes to know about this affair she will get her husband to fire my wife.
> 
> I am told that one of our common friend who was on her BBM list was deleted /blocked by my wife because he supports my stand. She had called our other common friend and denied that she is having an affair. I have just sent our common friend the details of the call logs and her text msg let her judge it for her self on who is saying the truth.
> 
> ...


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

> All i can say at this stage its frustrating and painful. What i also fear at times is she may take my exposure as an act of revenge and hate me further....


She may take it that way - she could perceive it in any number of ways. That's her freedom - what is important is why YOU are doing it. You are ending the deceit. She will get angry - but that can pass, and a marriage can survive that. A marriage cannot survive ongoing infidelity.

Regarding the fact that the Other Man's wife may insist she be fired - that is to be expected as well. In fact, she will need to at the very least transfer to another office, if not quit altogether. That's part of the price of an affair.

Also:

you wrote earlier:



> Before i talk to her about The No contact letter i would like to wait and see the effect of the exposures i did would impact her.


The No Contact letter is only applicable if she is willing to end the affair - you don't need to bring it up yet anyway. That is part of three non-negotiable conditions you set up in case she wishes to return to the marriage. Right now, you need to show her the way home. How she gets there will come later.


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

As i have not been able to get to the OM's wife, I am wondering should I send a mass email to all the office staff exposing the affair? What do you all suggest? I have a feeling there may be someone who may know her.... Will there be any legal implications?


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

land2634 said:


> She will be angry, but what's the alternative? She gets to live the secret lifestyle behind your back while you suffer the consequences? The thing I ended up asking my wife when she was angry about me exposing was that if what she had was so wonderful, then why did she want it to be a secret?


I agree with you but this is what worries me. From what i gather she is mighty pissed with me for exposing it and blaming me for everything that went wrong. Not that i am a saint i have my set of flaws but am ready to work on them or rather working on them to bring in the positive change. 

I am very sure all this exposure is disturbing (friends and family calling her to advise her no access to our son) her a lot. My fear being what if the OM may be consoling and showing affection and care her and making love deposits out of this situation. Isn't this possible?

What do you think is going through my wife's mind right now?


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## land2634 (Jun 7, 2010)

She's going to blame you. She has to find a way to justify to other people why she's doing what she is. Don't worry about that part. I know it's hard, but if you don't get the truth out there, people will actually believe the things she tells them. From experience, they will say anything from "He was abusive" to "He was ruining our finances". They will say it to somehow make it look like you were purposely running them off and the other person was there to catch them. The other man may be consoling her, but I can guarantee it won't help much if everyone else around them knows what is really going on and frowns upon it.

As far as e-mailing the entire office, I say no. That DOES look like revenge. The scope of your exposure needs to be people that would be impacted by a potential divorce. This includes your family, her family, your friends, her friends, your employer, and her employer. While her employer is the other person, if you actually know people within the office, and some of these people are her friends, then by all means, contact those people. The other people in the office will find out soon enough.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Nattu_Khattu said:


> As i have not been able to get to the OM's wife, I am wondering should I send a mass email to all the office staff exposing the affair? What do you all suggest? I have a feeling there may be someone who may know her.... Will there be any legal implications?


No, do NOT do that! YOU could end up being sued or worse.

Do you have money to hire someone to track down his wife? Can you buy a program online to search her? She is really the key to harming the affair at this point. It is VITAL. What is your marriage worth? IF you don't spend the money to find her, you'll be spending a lot more to divorce.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Have you contacted HR? You said you can't, but that is not true. They are legally and ethically bound to do their job no matter what he says or does. Ask them to take it to someone higher than him. And if they don't, YOU take it to someone higher than him.


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

Thanks for your advice. I will not send the mail to her office colleagues as you all suggested. 

I have her Facebook account but am not writing to her as i guess this OM may have access to them too. If he can check my wife's email account i am sure he does the same for his wife too. More so since i know he knows i am on his heels. 

I have his residential address but since i have to provide my return address i am sure he will trace the mail back to me and make sure it never reaches his wife. 

What other options do i have?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Well, you could start with all the advice _I _have given you...


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

She works in Hong Kong(HK) and am not sure what and how does the laws for sexual harassment works there. My wife is the only sole staff taking care of the business in HK at the moment. I am trying to find out but may take time of how i can legally engage the company. 

If not a mass mail how about mails to the colleagues who she is constantly in touch with? None of them are from Hong Kong and she has never met them before.... This is to protect my wife but expose the boss... THE CEO. 

Pls suggest? 

Also an update i have been feeling restless and visited my doctor today for an anti depressant medicines. My son after his afternoon nap comes to me saying "Papa where is Mama i said in HK and he says to me pls show me her pictures" I hated it but well i had to and all of a sudden he tells me show me how i was born and i just could not hold back I has to rush to the rest room to throw up. Dont know why it happened but it did. And i felt it was not a good sign. 

Told my son am not well but had to put on a brave front. Felt very low so decided to visit a doc so i can hold on. Am on medicines since this evening. 

Don't know what the future holds but the present looks F****D. I am down down down......


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

The purpose of exposing the affair is to shed some light on it. An affair exists best when it is hidden and disguised. Once it becomes clear to friends, family, etc., that they have been lied to, the affair become more uncomfortable, less thrilling. People begin to treat the two 'partners' differently. Stress begins to build. 

You've done that.

As for contacting the bosses wife, this may just not happen (at least for a while). Do not dwell on that. Stay open to the possibility of finding out later. Turnera has offered a good possibility (hiring a PI - who can hand deliver a letter), although you actually already know where she lives. If necessary, you can always send a letter to her - you have the address. You say that he will trace the mail back to you...and that his wife will never receive the letter. Why? Why would it matter that he trace it back to you. He knows who you are already. How do you know his wife doesn't get the mail while he is working? Regardless, my advice is to just keep that in mind and move on. If you paralyze yourself with trying to get that one single accomplishment done, you will be allowing the affair to continue. 

It would be useful in ending the affair - but there are other things you can be doing right now that are also effective. Your wife and CEO are already in damage repair mode. You cannot stop that. 



> If not a mass mail how about mails to the colleagues who she is constantly in touch with? None of them are from Hong Kong and she has never met them before.... This is to protect my wife but expose the boss... THE CEO.


I am unsure of the reasoning behind this - would you explain it a bit more? Also - from what are you protecting your wife? Is she in danger?


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

Yes i am already working on on what Turnera has suggested. 

No my wife is in no danger but our family is . What i meant by protecting my wife was to Kill the affair and make their affair uncomfortable by exposing it to others in their office. 

You are right about the possibility of his wife receiving the letter when he is out in the office. So now i am seriously considering of sending him the letter. What other steps do you all suggest i could take?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Well, if you can send it Registered, if they have that there, I think you can specify that only SHE can sign for it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

In the meantime, you should be doing what you can to figure out WHY your wife was unhappy enough to fall into an affair. If you were meeting all her needs and not love busting her, she would have been less likely to succumb to his advances. So, time to be honest with yourself. Has she complained about things you ignored? Has she asked for things you never took care of? Has she made comments about things you do? 

If you want her back, you'll have to show her a new man, who listens to her, meets her needs, and sweeps her off her feet. Start working on becoming that man.


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

Yesterday i was missing my wife real bad and so sent her an SMS and never received any reply from her. 

My God mother also called her yesterday. My wife denied that she was having an affair and started telling my God Mother how difficult it was to live with me (I wonder if it was so difficult for her to live with me way was she having no problems when i was funding all her expenses till just a fortnight ago inspite of her still working). My wife said she is planning to file for a divorce. 

Today i have sent a registered mail informing the OM's wife about the affair and also providing her details of the SMS exchanged and phone call logs. I hope it lands in her hand and not the husband. 

I wonder if my wife is even missing our 2.9 yrs old son?


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

"I wonder if my wife is even missing our 2.9 yrs old son?"


This is critical to me. How can a mother abandon her child? You may be well ahead of the game if she does divorce you, just protect your child!


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

Yes that's what i am doing and is very painful. I have to put on a brave face when i am with my son assuring him all is well. 

I hope all goes well but am also preparing for the worst. As a father can i claim for child support from my wife? What are my options if she does actually file in for a divorce?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Best get to a lawyer to learn about that.


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

The Laws are confusing. As right now we are in two different countries. I am in Singapore and she is in Hong Kong. Unless i get to know which country she plans to file for a divorce (if at all she does) i just have to wait and watch. In the mean time assure her that my son and I will always be there to welcome her back in the family. 

Needless to say am doing all its takes to look inside me to work on myself so i could be emotionally fulfilling to her. So she doesn't have to look beyond.


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## anonymus (Sep 21, 2010)

Hi. Want to offer some suggestions as to how u can get hold of the OM's wife.
I will give u details on what I did.
My H was having an emotional affair which started on FB. The OW was in another country. I got to know about the affair when i saw the messeges they were sending each other on his phone. I figured I could get all the infor I wanted on FB. My H had deleted me from his friends list (in his foggy mind)
I went on the other woman's profile but all info was locked. Decided to form a fake FB account in a fake name as if I was from the OW's country. But I 1st invited a number of people from that country and a couple more who were her friends so that if I sent a friend request to her she would accept seeing that we had common friends. Most people responded to my friend request. By end of day I had 30 friends and that included her. I was able to get into her FB profile learn a lot about her. Got to know about her husband. I tried to look for contact info for the OW's H but to no avail. (He barely uses his FB account). Anyway ended up calling one of his brothers who was on the wife's friend list (They shared the same surname). He heard my story and offered me the OW'S H number.
I called him and told him all the gory details. Short to say there were fireworks esp from the OW as she never saw that coming. She was sending messeges to me which I would forward to her H. They said they ended the affair but really didnt. After a week I saw another messege. I sent it to the H. Fireworks again.... The other woman's H threatened divorce and the unfaithfuls realised that they were both abt to lose their relationships and ended up cutting all contact. 
Sometimes u need to think outside the box. Get in touch with people whom u think know the OM'S wife contact details. Calling them may work to your best advantage.


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

Thanks for the suggestion. It was actually through Facebook i got to know this OM wife. My registered mail should be reaching her today. Lets see if she calls me to find out more. If i don't get a call from her over the next few days. I will work on the fake FB profile.


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

A lot has happened since the last time i posted. I have now once again relocated back to Singapore. On the eve of my flying off to Singapore, I was very upset with the very thought of having to leave behind my son (with my parents) who i so love and still miss him ever min. I couldn't control the anxiety within me and had to let it out. So i called the OM and gave him my piece of mind. Trust me it felt good, don't know if it did any good or not. At that moment i didnt care. 

The next day morning i get an email from my wife:

_Dear Mr. ABC,

I would like to share with you that I've filed a divorce already and the documents will reach you shortly. Since we have decided to move on with our lives, please stop sending me disturbing emails and sms's. You are calling Mr. NONSENSE only because you want him to fire me, you're calling my friends so that they'll leave me and you're sending emails to my sisters or calling my brother in laws so that they stop supporting me. See by you doing this till today i still share a very good relation with all. My family, my boss and my friends are very understanding, supporting. If you thing by loosing my family, my job and my friends, i'll come back to you than you are wrong. Everytime you say, you are doing this or will do anything and everything to bring back (our son) his mother which is why you have tracked my Laptop IP, tracing my calls and sms's. Do you have any idea what you are doing is a cyber crime, if you are being caught, you will be behind the bars. If not for yourself atleast think for Arsh before doing all these illegal transactions. How does it help? You are disturbed and you are disturbing others. Till today what did you get out of it? Why don't you accept the fact that i will never come back to you. I am "our sons" mother and i will always be there for him. Wake up, rather than wasting your time on illegal acts, work towards making your career. *(Here she is accusing me of hacking her phones and Laptop ... I wish i was a hacker)*

I have got nothing to with you anymore, regarding our son I would love to keep in touch with him but this can happen only if you stop being aggressesive and blaming others for nothing. Accept the fact that we are apart and think of improving yourself, so that we can feel comfortable to chat or talk about our son. This is the only way you can update or keep me and my son close to eachother, if you really mean what you always say (you want to bring our son his mother back). Please accept the fact that i'm not coming back but atleast we can try to work this out as a mature individuals, so that our son don't get deprive of being in touch with me or i don't get deprive of being in touch with him. 

What you have done till today, it got you into more frustration, stress and disturbance. Think the other way, if you could have accepted our seperation, divorce and acted sensible, it would have been so much better. Till today what you have done is bringing emberresment and insult to yourself, me and Arsh only. 

Once and for all, just sit back, relax and think.

May god bless you and give you a faith to accept the fact.


Take care

Regards,
XYZ_

*To Which i replied:*

_Hi Baby,

I don't know who to respond this mail to. To you or to the person who drafted this letter. I know ur style of writing and in this mail not only is ur style missing the facts are grossly distorted.

I am glad to know u have filed for divorce. But in which country and what are ur grounds of divorce. I guess u have mentioned to ur lawyer that I don't live in HK and ur country of domicile is singapore. All I wanted was our son to have his mother so since he is below 5 yrs old u will have the natural right to custody unless I claim for the custody. In this case I would not claim for custodial rights but will make sure that I have visitation rights at least 2 days a week. As I always said mothers are the primary building blocks.... He needs u more than me. BTW he can write up to letter R and from 1 to 6. Great right??

My calls to your boss was to confront him about he having an affair with u. He denied sending u sms or making late night calls. He actually swore on his sons name. So sent him a mail with the details. When a social organisation called him (In India this is possible to protect women's right) called him to seek clarification he started hurling abuses good the call was recorded. Instead all he could have done was spoken to them and cleared the doubt.

Next if I didn't want u to work I don't think I would have helped u to respond to your interview followup via emails during ur interviewing process. Or rather help u draft emails and helped u understand and guided you in the day to day process involving international trade.

Which of ur friend have I called to defame u? Could u pls name them?

I always wanted u to get closer and have a harmonious relationship with ur family. We had this discussion just about a week back. And if I wanted to show u on a bad light you know I could share all other secrets to your family members. May be I should fwd the mail I sent to ur sister and let u decide it for ur self if I tried to show u in bad light.

I would like to know from u Do u have any idea on cyber crime? If u do it will be YOUR boss who will have to respond what he was doing checking ur mails both official and personal.

I am very glad to note that u have a very understanding set of friends. I am sure your bosses wife (name deleted) and his father (name deleted) are understanding enough to understand that his son really cares for his employees.

I am glad u stated that u wanted to converse with me in amicable manner. I just want that. That's why I called u yesterday to have a word with our son but you never took my call.

But I fail to understand when was I aggressive? You mean to say I was aggressive, when I said calm down babe? When u were hurling abuses at me or when u said to drop drop our son in the dust bin? In any case if u felt I was aggressive I truly apologize.

Regarding the present situation I have not shared it with the world as it would bring u a bad name. I have only spoken this to my mother, ur sister and your brother in law and XYZ who is our common friend and ur confidant.

Will call u later and hope to have a nice conversation with u. Would like to share what our son was saying when i was waving him good bye.

Thanks for ur concern about my job. I need all the luck. I don't think I can be disturbed and taking care of our son all this while by my self. Thanks for ur concern any ways.

Last but certainly not the least. We will always be there for u whenever u need our help or support. We love and care for you.

Love u
Baby _

The most recent update is she is planning to file for a divorce but doesn't have enough money to hire a lawyer. She was in touch with some of her old friends who support me in this cause so they had refused to lend her any money. 

BTW, today was our son's first day in a play school so i msged her that it may be a good idea for her to call him when he gets back home at noon. But she didnt call. 

Feedback pls and thanks for reading this long post.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Just stay the course. The only thing I would change is that I would not be offering to let her keep her son - not while another man is in her life illegally. Your son doesn't need to learn that this is normal. But that's your choice.


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## Nattu_Khattu (Oct 6, 2010)

turnera said:


> Just stay the course. The only thing I would change is that I would not be offering to let her keep her son - not while another man is in her life illegally. Your son doesn't need to learn that this is normal. But that's your choice.


Neither would I, this mails was more for the person who drafted the email. My Wife would never write it this way. It was to send him signals with my wife comes my son... So take it... but if i have to head to a court no way will my wife have my son.... and she is happy this way.


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