# Need your help



## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

I am a single 64 year old, divorced man without kids. I was married for 22 years and my wife left for another man, I lost money and the home I paid for. (I do have three cats that I ‘won’ in the divorce only because the man she left me for was allergic to cats. Guess who wanted the cats in the first place.). I am currently dating a 47 year old woman with a 13 daughter and a 16 year old son. I actually knew her kids before from the local theatre. We”ve been seeing each other for the last 15 month. (Got together just before the pandemic). She’s been apart from her husband for 10 years but hasn’t quite completed the divorce due to health insurance for the kids. They recently got on a state plan So, shes slowly moving forward with the divorce. That’s not the issue. Over the last 15 months we slept overnight together 7 times. Her parents are far away, ex is even farther and she has an agreement with him that neither can have sleep over with the kids there. I spend many evenings there with them and she comes over a couple of times a week and the kids come over once a month. I love her and her kids. But…yes here it comes…the kids are loud, stay up until 4 am most nights, and the son has no sense of personal space (we believe he’s on the spectrum somewhere and is in meds). The woman has a difficult time parenting and fights what battles she can. I don’t necessarily agree with all her decisions. But wait there’s more. Whenever we broach the subject of moving in the kids aren’t comfortable with it so their mom backs off. Since the pandemic I’ve lost my job for half a year and I am back but only part time. I’m worried about keeping my current house because of it. So the idea of sharing a space with the woman is appealing. 

Heres what I’m coping with. As a 64 year old man who never had kids I’m kinda set in my ways. Don’t get me wrong, I can be flexible in a living arrangement but the idea of not getting sleep because the kids don’t go to bed when they should or make too much noise in general makes me squirm. I fear that I will get a house with them and then find out I’m not compatible with living I. This family situation or maybe not even compatible with her (again we’ve only slept the night together 7 times) or wont be happy livI got with the whole family and be stuck there. Of course, it could all work out. Who knows. 

I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts, help and constructive criticism. tia.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

It sounds like a nightmare. I think you know that. Go find a quality woman, with quality kids, or even better -- a woman in your own age range with adult kids. 

And she's not even divorced?

The health insurance issue sounds completely false. A person can put their own kids on their health insurance, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE MARRIED to put your OWN kids on your health insurance.


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## Unknown2u (May 19, 2021)

x


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

She is always going to pick her kids over you. I would not move in with her unless you are sure, because that one you are not going to win.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

The health insurance excuse is BS - I know people who have it in their divorce decree that a particular parent must carry the kids on their health insurance, so that's a load of horse faeces.

If the mum suspects one of the kids is on the spectrum, is she getting him any help? If not, why not? And why did she not do it years ago? Their dad should be all over this too. Unless of course, the boy isn't on the spectrum at all, and his behaviour is a result of lazy, permissive parents.

I'd be very wary OP. I raise a stepdaughter with ASD and it's hard work. She's worth it, but it's hard.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

It sounds like you want more commitment than her, or at least you want to live together more than she does. Are you happy with her and she with you? 

What’s wrong with just seeing eachother and keeping your own homes? If you live eachother, why not just keep things how they are, I’ve seen this work out very well. I don’t know how loud kids would be good for anyone at that age!


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Insurance is definitely a bs excuse. 

Focus on your financial situation. If you weren't worried about losing your house you'd probably have a very different outlook. At your age a woman with kids is fine as long they are adults who support themselves. At this stage in the game you literally can't afford another financial hit.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

Luckylucky said:


> It sounds like you want more commitment than her, or at least you want to live together more than she does. Are you happy with her and she with you?
> 
> What’s wrong with just seeing eachother and keeping your own homes? If you live eachother, why not just keep things how they are, I’ve seen this work out very well. I don’t know how loud kids would be good for anyone at that age!


That option has been at the very top of my list. And working on my finances to allow me to do that is as the next post suggests is too of my list as well. There are two issues with that.

First sleeping alone every night weighs in me. Maybe more because of the pandemic. She can’t leave the kids alone at night and her parents love 1.5 hours away. The father lives three states away and is out of the picture in almost every way except financially. So, I sleep alone. Maybe I’ll feel differently once the pandemic is over. 

Secondly, the finances. The business I was in for 23 years was hit hard. I’m back to 18 hours and with unemployment and taking early retirement (which isn’t much) for now to help me through it and a mortgage on forbearance I’m able to live and set aside a little money. Mortgage starts up again in July. Once unemployment stops I’ll be in trouble unless I can get back to work full time. On too of that housing prices have skyrocketed in my area and if I had to downsize from my 2 bedroom to something less expensive I couldn't do it here. I’d have to move 20-30 minutes away from her and my friends to some lesser towns.

If I can keep it together financially and get over the loneliness I could be fine with this arrangement. But in the back of my head I think “What if I waited 5 years until both kids are hopefully out of the house for us to move in and then I find we’re not compatible? Then at 69 I’m starting over? I do love her and the kids very much. I just dunno.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Ahh now we have it. You're settling for this nightmare, and it truly sounds like a nightmare, because you don't want to "sleep alone". Or put in the work to find someone more compatible.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Catdaddio said:


> “What if I waited 5 years until both kids are hopefully out of the house for us to move in and then I find we’re not compatible?


The kids will probably hang around until they're in the late twenties or even early thirties.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You say the kids are up till 3 or 4 am? Do they not go to school?


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Ahh now we have it. You're settling for this nightmare, and it truly sounds like a nightmare, because you don't want to "sleep alone". Or put in the work to find someone more compatible.


Well, that is over simplifying things imho. It is less of a nightmare than perhaps I make it out to be. That would be unkind. All of my options are difficult at this point. That is the truth.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> You say the kids are up till 3 or 4 am? Do they not go to school?


They do go to sleep earlier (12 or 1) some nights. They are still virtual and don’t have to log one until 10:15. That will change in September. I’ve been encouraging her to make them go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. And now her sons physician encourages it as well. He also just started meds for anxiety. They are working in it. And I sympathize with her being a single mom to two teens with no help from the father and also working full time. Mostly all virtual at this point.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

Sfort said:


> The kids will probably hang around until they're in the late twenties or even early thirties.


Well that too is a fear.


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## NTA (Mar 28, 2021)

Don't feel bad. On the second go round, I could not bear the thought of dealing with someone's babymama. I stayed in the big city and was able to meet my husband, child free, debt free. he was ready to get married.

Get out to some activities you like and see what your city has to offer. But you will need to do that solo. What kind of relationship / agreement do you have with this woman.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

NTA said:


> Don't feel bad. On the second go round, I could not bear the thought of dealing with someone's babymama. I stayed in the big city and was able to meet my husband, child free, debt free. he was ready to get married.
> 
> Get out to some activities you like and see what your city has to offer. But you will need to do that solo. What kind of relationship / agreement do you have with this woman.


We’re monogamous at this point and live in a small town of 4,000. Between us we know just about everyone.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

So...I love my 2 nephews but they are a handful. My sister is divorced and has a serious boyfriend. He is a neatfreak and she is messy and so are her kids. When they are moving in together they are planning that he lives in the little one bedroom apartment and manages the office space attached to the house that they are planning on renting out. And she and the kids are living in the house on the same property. I think the idea is they are on paper business partners but each has their own space. It sounds like maybe you could rent adjoining apartments or something? So you each have your own space but can go spend the night when you want.

Side note: one naively thinks that when kids move out they are less in one's life. NOT TRUE. Kids might go to college at 18 or 19 but they also might not be fully financially independent for a while given how expensive housing can be in the US. So I wouldn't hang on to the hope that they will be out of the house the majority of the time when they hit 18. Speaking as a single mom, my son is a big part of my life. I get that you want alone time with this lady, but if it were me, I would definitely not feel warmly towards someone who was counting the days til my son was out the house. When you have kids they are a permanent part of your heart, not a burden to be disposed of. You say you love them but it sounds like you love this woman and are accepting them only for that reason. I wouldn't feel shame for that, but just choose more wisely next time because it doesn't sound like you're ready to share someone's time and attention with their kids. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that - unless they have kids.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Catdaddio said:


> They do go to sleep earlier (12 or 1) some nights. They are still virtual and don’t have to log one until 10:15. That will change in September. I’ve been encouraging her to make them go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. And now her sons physician encourages it as well. He also just started meds for anxiety. They are working in it. And I sympathize with her being a single mom to two teens with no help from the father and also working full time. Mostly all virtual at this point.


I was a single mum of three, I didn't let them stay up half the night though. 
They need boundaries.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> So...I love my 2 nephews but they are a handful. My sister is divorced and has a serious boyfriend. He is a neatfreak and she is messy and so are her kids. When they are moving in together they are planning that he lives in the little one bedroom apartment and manages the office space attached to the house that they are planning on renting out. And she and the kids are living in the house on the same property. I think the idea is they are on paper business partners but each has their own space. It sounds like maybe you could rent adjoining apartments or something? So you each have your own space but can go spend the night when you want.
> 
> Side note: one naively thinks that when kids move out they are less in one's life. NOT TRUE. Kids might go to college at 18 or 19 but they also might not be fully financially independent for a while given how expensive housing can be in the US. So I wouldn't hang on to the hope that they will be out of the house the majority of the time when they hit 18. Speaking as a single mom, my son is a big part of my life. I get that you want alone time with this lady, but if it were me, I would definitely not feel warmly towards someone who was counting the days til my son was out the house. When you have kids they are a permanent part of your heart, not a burden to be disposed of. You say you love them but it sounds like you love this woman and are accepting them only for that reason. I wouldn't feel shame for that, but just choose more wisely next time because it doesn't sound like you're ready to share someone's time and attention with their kids. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that - unless they have kids.


I hear you. And I do love them. But as an on,y child and never having kids I have no concept as whether or not the behaviors i see and hear about are caused by the pandemic and lockdown or their usual behavior. And I can only compare with a couple of other families I know with kids that I don’t remember hearing about having these issues. All I can say is that I don’t know how I would feel living with them and don’t want to lose more to find out. 

There is a possibility of her parents moving close enough to be able to take the kids more allow us more sleepovers.

And closer but still separate residences are possible I just don’t think either of us are financially viable enough to do that. Still working on that.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Kids are the spice of life and keep you young... unless you succumb to the grumpy old man trying to take over your mind lol. Do you share any interests with the kids.. golfing, tennis, etc. such that they might actually provide additional companionship you’ve been missing? I imagine both these kids have a lot they could learn from you. You said you loved them...

You’re time on earth maybe coming to an end in the next decade or two. What do you want to do? Gardening... or making relationships with people?

What’s the deal with young people these days... my kids always want to stay up all night!


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

CatholicDad said:


> Kids are the spice of life and keep you young... unless you succumb to the grumpy old man trying to take over your mind lol. Do you share any interests with the kids.. golfing, tennis, etc. such that they might actually provide additional companionship you’ve been missing? I imagine both these kids have a lot they could learn from you. You said you loved them...
> 
> You’re time on earth maybe coming to an end in the next decade or two. What do you want to do? Gardening... or making relationships with people?
> 
> What’s the deal with young people these days... my kids always want to stay up all night!


First about staying up. I blame TikTok! Lol. I think the pandemic and virtual has a lot to do with that.

I love kids. I work with a local theatre directing children’s theatre and main stage and performing with them. Part of my semi full time job is to perform science shows for kids! I knew her kids before her and we do go out and do things. As much as we could with so many places closed or fear of covid. Now that we are fully vaccinated (except for the 13 year old who has her second shot in a couple weeks) we can go out more. Which I love to do!

I will continue to make and keep relationships until the day I leave this earth. However, i feel I should be happy, content and safe in my living space, too.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Sounds to me like your main reason for wanting her to move in is so she can help pay for your house.

I’d rather live under a bridge than deal with someone else’s teenagers. 

My advice is manage your own financial affairs to where you don’t need her rent money. 

Then you can keep her in the Funzone for Saturday night date nights and not have to mess with any of those family and domestic problems.

Be your own man so you don’t need her to rescue you.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Catdaddio said:


> First about staying up. I blame TikTok! Lol. I think the pandemic and virtual has a lot to do with that.
> 
> I love kids. I work with a local theatre directing children’s theatre and main stage and performing with them. Part of my semi full time job is to perform science shows for kids! I knew her kids before her and we do go out and do things. As much as we could with so many places closed or fear of covid. Now that we are fully vaccinated (except for the 13 year old who has her second shot in a couple weeks) we can go out more. Which I love to do!
> 
> I will continue to make and keep relationships until the day I leave this earth. However, i feel I should be happy, content and safe in my living space, too.


Didn't realize children there were having a vaccine. It's not happening here, and I have yet to hear of a single parent who would have their child vaccinated even if they could. Children are such low risk of covid. Have all adults been vaccinated there now? We are down to the mid 30's age now. 
Sorry, thread jack.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

My husband and I married and he moved in when my younger two were late teens and early 20's. 
It worked pretty well but they were pretty well behaved. We have had various children living with us throughout a lot of the marriage due to lost jobs, having to quickly leave their rented home etc. 
He had come from a marriage with children though, and after an initial getting to know you time they did get on well. 

Could you get a smaller place nearer to her?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Didn't realize children there were having a vaccine. It's not happening here, and I have yet to hear of a single parent who would have their child vaccinated even if they could. Children are such low risk of covid. Have all adults been vaccinated there now? We are down to the mid 30's age now.
> Sorry, thread jack.


12 and up. And yes they are getting their vaccines.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> My husband and I married and he moved in when my younger two were late teens and early 20's.
> It worked pretty well but they were pretty well behaved. We have had various children living with us throughout a lot of the marriage due to lost jobs, having to quickly leave their rented home etc.
> He had come from a marriage with children though, and after an initial getting to know you time they did get on well.
> 
> Could you get a smaller place nearer to her?


I'm only a 3 minute drive from her now. Its about leaving the kids alone at night. Maybe the 16-year old, but definitely not the 13-year and even then the older child with issues will be calling every five minutes for help of some sort.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> Sounds to me like your main reason for wanting her to move in is so she can help pay for your house.
> 
> I’d rather live under a bridge than deal with someone else’s teenagers.
> 
> ...


Yes, that would be the idea plan. As I said before with the pandemic, trying to find another job at 64, not enough income through SS, the only way to lower my monthly bills would be to sell and move further away from her, friends, theatre I work with and job. Not ideal. But I know I have to do what I have to do.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Catdaddio said:


> Yes, that would be the idea plan. As I said before with the pandemic, trying to find another job at 64, not enough income through SS, the only way to lower my monthly bills would be to sell and move further away from her, friends, theatre I work with and job. Not ideal. But I know I have to do what I have to do.


My point remains. If you can manage your own affairs and take care of your own matters, then you don’t have to deal with another man’s offspring. 

It’s fine to date and have fun night’s out with a single mother, but bringing other men’s teenagers into your own home is a whole other plain of reality. 

If you could pick between daily root canal or other people’s teenagers - well, at least your dentist has good drugs. 

I suggest researching some of Richard Cooper’s material on bringing single mothers with kids into your home life. 

There are a million liabilities and virtually no benefit. 

At best it’s not pain and torment every single day. 

At worst you get accused of abusing the kids or molesting the girl when things go bad. 

You have visions of her helping pay your living expenses, but the reality is you will be expected to help support and raise her offspring. You will likely end up paying more to support her kids than what she will be contributing to your living expenses. 

I don’t think you are looking at this pragmatically. 

Not having kids of your own, you likely have no grasp of how much of a financial blackhole they really and you will be expected to contribute to their expenses. 

Even if you don’t marry, you incur a wide variety of legal and financial entanglements when you bring in a single mother and her brood. 

If sleeping alone is really bothering you this much then you need to look into spinning plates where you are bringing other women into the rotation to fill some of the other nights, or getting a dog. 

Bringing teenage kids into your home is not going to be worth some extra rent and utility money or warmer bed.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> My point remains. If you can manage your own affairs and take care of your own matters, then you don’t have to deal with another man’s offspring.
> 
> It’s fine to date and have fun night’s out with a single mother, but bringing other men’s teenagers into your own home is a whole other plain of reality.
> 
> ...


I have three cats. ;-) I'll looking into your suggested reading. Thanks!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Catdaddio said:


> Yes, that would be the idea plan. As I said before with the pandemic, trying to find another job at 64, not enough income through SS, the only way to lower my monthly bills would be to sell and move further away from her, friends, theatre I work with and job. Not ideal. But I know I have to do what I have to do.


Could you downsize and stay locally? Will you have a pension coming?


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Could you downsize and stay locally?


I'd love to, but the 2 bedroom townhouse/condo I'm in is cheaper than a smaller house in the area right now. I'd have to move to 'less desirable' to get even close and they are a good 20-30 minutes away. But if I have to do that eventually, I'll have to.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Catdaddio said:


> I'd love to, but the 2 bedroom townhouse/condo I'm in is cheaper than a smaller house in the area right now. I'd have to move to 'less desirable' to get even close and they are a good 20-30 minutes away. But if I have to do that eventually, I'll have to.


Get a male roommate to share an apartment. It works for a lot of people. Be sure to get one who doesn't mind the noises coming from your bedroom when she's over.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Catdaddio said:


> I'd love to, but the 2 bedroom townhouse/condo I'm in is cheaper than a smaller house in the area right now. I'd have to move to 'less desirable' to get even close and they are a good 20-30 minutes away. But if I have to do that eventually, I'll have to.


Why do you need a house for yourself?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Livvie said:


> 12 and up. And yes they are getting their vaccines.


Have all adults been vaccinated there now then?


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## shortbus (Jul 25, 2017)

This sounds lovely.
Best thing you can do is get married, the sooner, the better.
That way you can post in 'considering divorce' soon and get some more advice.
Best wishes for your cats going forward.


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## This_Is_Me (Mar 24, 2021)

It seems that your living styles are incompatible for now and for the foreseeable future. Their household is not going to change much to accommodate your preferences. And you do not want to live their way. Pressing the issue is likely to lead to unhappiness on all sides.

Recommend figuring out the financials for yourself without relying on merging households. Wishing you the best as you sort everything out.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Have all adults been vaccinated there now then?


No, not all adults have been vaccinated. But vaccines have been available to all adults who want them for some weeks now. So, with FDA approvals just in for kids down to age 12, vaccines are also being made available to them.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Rowan said:


> No, not all adults have been vaccinated. But vaccines have been available to all adults who want them for some weeks now. So, with FDA approvals just in for kids down to age 12, vaccines are also being made available to them.


The shots are not FDA approved. They are FDA authorized.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rowan said:


> No, not all adults have been vaccinated. But vaccines have been available to all adults who want them for some weeks now. So, with FDA approvals just in for kids down to age 12, vaccines are also being made available to them.


Be interesting to see how many want their kids vaccinated. I don't see the point myself they have such a tiny risk.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Be interesting to see how many want their kids vaccinated. I don't see the point myself they have such a tiny risk.


I've been working at vaccination sites. A lot of parents are bringing their kids to get vaccinated. I want both my kids to get the shot because we love to travel internationally. I want to go back home where covid-19 cases are still very high. 

It appears if most kids are vaccinated in middle and high school, they could go back to what school was before covid hit.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Catdaddio said:


> Yes, that would be the idea plan. As I said before with the pandemic, trying to find another job at 64, not enough income through SS, the only way to lower my monthly bills would be to sell and move further away from her, friends, theatre I work with and job. Not ideal. But I know I have to do what I have to do.


I don't think this is the right reason to move in with someone or getting married. 

The kids are young. If you think they'll be out when they turn 18 you are dreaming! Specially if one of them is in the spectrum. 

You could find a job from home, working the overnight shift, or delivering with door dash or something like that. It's not hard. 

Figure things out on your own without depending on someone else. Are you expecting her to take care of you as well?


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

shortbus said:


> This sounds lovely.
> Best thing you can do is get married, the sooner, the better.
> That way you can post in 'considering divorce' soon and get some more advice.
> Best wishes for your cats going forward.


LOL. Funny thing is I found this site when my ex-wife said "I love you like a brother." Which was weird as she was an only child. Several folks here said she was cheating on me and I thought "No way". Turns our she was and after 22 years and no real answer why she did it, we divorced. Not getting married or divorced again. Ever.


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## AGoodFlogging (Dec 19, 2020)

I'll be honest. I don't think she is in a position to give you what you need right now and she comes with a load of baggage and restrictions that just raise red flags for me (I mean her ex is dictating when you can have sex).

So it is a nope from me, unless you want to keep it casual.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Catdaddio said:


> Yes, that would be the idea plan. As I said before with the pandemic, trying to find another job at 64, not enough income through SS, the only way to lower my monthly bills would be to sell and move further away from her, friends, theatre I work with and job. Not ideal. But I know I have to do what I have to do.


How is your health?
Can you work full time?

Companies are presently screaming for workers.
Especially, retail and those needing laborers.

Some pay close to 20 dollars an hour to start, but with this predicted new inflation we are experiencing, even that is not much.

If you go back to work and pay into SS, the amount you get make without getting reduced payments from the SSA, is $18,960.

After full retirement age you can make as much as you want, no penalty. Your benefit amount _might_ even rise if you start working again.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

AGoodFlogging said:


> I'll be honest. I don't think she is in a position to give you what you need right now and she comes with a load of baggage and restrictions that just raise red flags for me (I mean her ex is dictating when you can have sex).
> 
> So it is a nope from me, unless you want to keep it casual.


The addendum to their agreement was actually made by her so he couldn’t have their kids over isn’t when he was sleeping with the woman he cheated on her with.

I think that keeping casual for now is best.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

SunCMars said:


> How is your health?
> Can you work full time?
> 
> Companies are presently screaming for workers.
> ...


Health is fair. Two bad knees but all else good. I’ve been over the SS numbers and if I can hang on until I hit 66 1/2 I’ll be better off. I had plan to work at my job for at least the next 4-5 years. Even $20 a month (less than I make) up to the $18,960 limit won’t help unless I cut down food expenses or drop a streaming service or two. Getting on Medicare next year will help. Covids timing sucks. Well the whole thing sucks.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Catdaddio said:


> The addendum to their agreement was actually made by her so he couldn’t have their kids over isn’t when he was sleeping with the woman he cheated on her with.
> 
> I think that keeping casual for now is best.


Well, they aren't divorced, they are still in fact married, so what kind of an agreement is it? It's unenforceable, and silly. Like someone else said, at age 64, you are basically letting another married couples agreement dictate your sex life. Next!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

pastasauce79 said:


> I've been working at vaccination sites. A lot of parents are bringing their kids to get vaccinated. I want both my kids to get the shot because we love to travel internationally. I want to go back home where covid-19 cases are still very high.
> 
> It appears if most kids are vaccinated in middle and high school, they could go back to what school was before covid hit.


In the UK they are getting back in schools to what it was. They don't have to wear masks any more in the older age groups now. 
No children have been vaccinated. No vaccine has been approved here for children and my impression from many comments I have read and people I have talked to is that they would refuse to have their children vaccinated because covid so rarely affects children badly. The risks from the jabs are more than their risks from covid.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Catdaddio said:


> LOL. Funny thing is I found this site when my ex-wife said "I love you like a brother." Which was weird as she was an only child. Several folks here said she was cheating on me and I thought "No way". Turns our she was and after 22 years and no real answer why she did it, we divorced. Not getting married or divorced again. Ever.


Does she know that you won't get married again? If not please tell her.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Catdaddio said:


> We’re monogamous at this point and live in a small town of 4,000. Between us we know just about everyone.


What about a larger town? More opportunity for business/work and of course A LOT more for dating. Going for the best thing in a small town is like dating the prettiest waitress at Denny's. She might be the best there, but that doesn't make it good.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> In the UK they are getting back in schools to what it was. They don't have to wear masks any more in the older age groups now.
> No children have been vaccinated. No vaccine has been approved here for children and my impression from many comments I have read and people I have talked to is that they would refuse to have their children vaccinated because covid so rarely affects children badly. The risks from the jabs are more than their risks from covid.


I'm glad we have options. We are not forced to get the vaccine. My kids are eager to get it, since their friends are talking about it. Kids are used to getting vaccinated anyway.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

pastasauce79 said:


> I'm glad we have options. We are not forced to get the vaccine. My kids are eager to get it, since their friends are talking about it. Kids are used to getting vaccinated anyway.


Yes kids here get lots of vaccines but it's all things that are highly dangerous to children specifically. Measles, polio, meningitis etc.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

So you need another person to help pay the bills? Can this be solved by getting a roommate, another man your own age? 

I think it’s great she has some standards for herself and her kids, let’s face it, she sounds respectable. I knew two divorced women in their 40s at work when I was young who stayed single, they had teen kids and said they wouldn’t live with other men or commit until the kids were out of the house, they felt uncomfortable bringing men home. So dating was done from a distance.


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## Catdaddio (May 20, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Does she know that you won't get married again? If not please tell her.


She knows and feels the same way.


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