# A Common Story, Apparently.



## SdSurfer (Mar 23, 2018)

I came to share my story, but it appears many of you have shared almost the exact same experience, with minor differences, so I will try to keep that part as short as possible.

I have been married for sixteen years. We always talked things through, never had a single blowout argument ever. We disagreed on many things, but that was always okay, we gave each other space to be who we were. We talked often about what makes us work and how sad it was that other couples were always in conflict. Soul mates, the perfect marriage, blah blah blah . . . I know you're thinking this is only one side of the story, but hers is here too.

Sunday two weeks ago I did a brake job on the car, that evening we were intimate, and by that I mean it was never just sex with us. Sometimes it wasn't even sex, it was just that teenage closeness we had never lost. Tuesday morning I got ready to go to work, kissed her goodbye like I always do, and she hugged me, rolled aside and whispered "see you later."

I come home, all her stuff is gone. Wouldn't answer my texts, wouldn't talk to me, won't give me one inkling of what was so wrong that the only person I cared about would do this to me. Just . . . gone.

I've gone through all of the range, shock, devastation, and anger, and came full circle to understand that it was me that drove her away. She married a man that was always fun, he played music, did art, was full of light and happiness, was always putting good energy into the world and that is what drew her to me. So what happened?

Music, art, and good times don't pay the bills. She never worked, and I was happy to give her that space to do whatever she wanted to. I never asked how much anything cost, or how much she was spending, I was grateful to see the light in her eyes when she bought something. A man has to provide, so I kept working. Day after day, for 16 years, and it was sucking me dry. I would come home, hug her, and was grateful to spend evenings doing whatever we did.

But my wife is an empath, I know that sounds like bull to you, but I have stories that can prove it. As she sat on the couch holding my hand, watching a movie or something, she could feel the desperation and despair coming from me, the heartbreak I was going through knowing I could never give her the life she deserved. One of the things we agreed on was that a person can't fix another, they can only support them, and my light was going out. She could feel it, and couldn't take it any more.

So she ran. Not into someone else's arms, if you knew her you would know that is just not possible. She is with family and "sorta" okay. I have been a basket case for two weeks with the thought that I will never see her face again. Just yesterday I came to the conclusion she is gone and never coming back, which put me at the lowest point I've ever been in my life. I didn't know what she would do, but I knew I had to protect myself, and that included keeping her car payment and insurance current, so I opened a new account and transferred funds into it, just enough to pay bills. 

I came home to find a debit of $1000 from her, which was the first sign of life in two weeks. I left her one more phone message: it's not what you think, I just need to make sure the bills are paid for.

I didn't ask, but she called me immediately, crying, scared that I was trying to hurt her by taking the car. All I want to do is help her, she has no job or prospects, and I want her to be happy.

We talked, real talk, she says she doesn't want a divorce but I have been here before and know where this goes. Mostly we talked about me, and the healing I need to do.

I have never been to a therapist in my life and never go to doctors, they want to keep us sick, there is too much money to be made. But I made the call before I had heard from her, the appointment is at 2 PM today.

I made the call mostly because I cannot see a life without her in it. The thing that stopped me from taking those thoughts any further is knowing how much that would hurt her, so I never could.

This is all my fault, there is no arguing the point. I let my light go out. She may come back, but at this point I have to face the possibility that she won't, and that is something I will never forgive myself for. What the therapist and I will talk about today is not our marriage, or how she "done me wrong," but about how I can find my light again. Because in the end, that is what effed it up.

I was so obsessed with keeping our relationship alive that I forgot about me.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

First and foremost, she left. When it was tough, she ran. Your post is rationalizing, minimizing, and even (to some degree) romanticizing what she has chosen to do.

This leads me to believe that you have her on a pedestal. My bet is she isn't nearly as great as you think she is, but rather you think so little of yourself that you are latching on to her as some great hope...or that you cannot possibly be you without her. This is commonly known as codependency.

You definitely need to work on you. But at the same time, take your love goggles off and see your wife for what she really is.

Lastly, I don't understand why she would be scared that you're going to take the vehicle away. That reaction is just plain...strange. Any insight?
@ReturntoZero


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Everybody's light goes out once in a while. 

Any spouse who is half of what you think your wife is would make it her life's mission to rekindle, not abandon. That is at the very core of what we do... we are there for each other, even when, nay, _especially when _things get dim.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

farsidejunky said:


> First and foremost, she left. When it was tough, she ran. Your post is rationalizing, minimizing, and even (to some degree) romanticizing what she has chosen to do.
> 
> This leads me to believe that you have her on a pedestal. My bet is she isn't nearly as great as you think she is, but rather you think so little of yourself that you are latching on to her as some great hope...or that you cannot possibly be you without her. This is commonly known as codependency.
> 
> ...


She's more concerned about the car than with him.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

I cannot fathom how in the world one justifies their spouse completely abandoning them without warning. This is mature adult behaviour? I can't figure out who is more mental here, your wife for blatantly deceiving and abandoning her husband or you romanticizing this as @farsidejunky put it. outrageous


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

If your therapist is any good they will tell you that you are not a 100% to blame in this marriage, that your wife has at least 50% of blame in putting out the fire in this marriage. I think it helpful for you to learn to fix yourself but if your wife does not fix herself then in the end you can't carry this all on your shoulders. no matter how much you love your wife. running away is never the answer. i am sorry you are here.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

So out of the goodness of her heart she left you dangling. Saying her behavior is suspicious is an understatement.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Have you checked her phone bill to see who she is commiserating with and getting advice from?


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

farsidejunky said:


> First and foremost, she left. When it was tough, she ran. Your post is rationalizing, minimizing, and even (to some degree) romanticizing what she has chosen to do.
> 
> This leads me to believe that you have her on a pedestal. My bet is she isn't nearly as great as you think she is, but rather you think so little of yourself that you are latching on to her as some great hope...or that you cannot possibly be you without her. This is commonly known as codependency.
> 
> ...


Because it's what she would do.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

That's some serious co-dependency you have with her. She runs out on you and you apologize to her for it. Bizarre.


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## EasyPartner (Apr 7, 2014)

farsidejunky said:


> First and foremost, she left. When it was tough, she ran. Your post is rationalizing, minimizing, and even (to some degree) romanticizing what she has chosen to do.
> 
> This leads me to believe that you have her on a pedestal. My bet is she isn't nearly as great as you think she is, but rather you think so little of yourself that you are latching on to her as some great hope...or that you cannot possibly be you without her. This is commonly known as codependency.
> 
> ...


^^^^this.

In OP's defense, he's still in shock and he may see a bit more clear in a few weeks or months.

Anyway, call it WAW syndrome, call it MLC, she's gone. And by the time she gets back to her senses, he will be long gone.

To answer your question: STBXW sees a future with that car -maybe get a job?- but not with SdSurfer. WAWs tend to plan their exit a long time before (try to move out of your house in a day's notice and see what happens...).

Wouldn't surprise me if she "saved" a lot of money too.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

She was miserable because you were working so hard to provide for her that you lost your joy in life, yet she was not willing to get at least a part time job to take that pressure off of you?

There is more to this story that you don't yet know.


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## SdSurfer (Mar 23, 2018)

Thank at least some of you for your replies. As mentioned at the outset, you are only hearing one side of the story, and I am the kind of person that knows how to get real with himself. You may also forget we have talked once, a long deep talk, I hear it in her voice. She had to have very good reason for doing this, this way, and I believe that without a doubt.



> Lastly, I don't understand why she would be scared that you're going to take the vehicle away. That reaction is just plain...strange. Any insight?


She has only the money she took from our account, the car, no job, and is scared s**tless. She knows what this has done to me, and no idea where I would go with it. So of course she thought I was trying to hurt her. Sheesh.



> Any spouse who is half of what you think your wife is would make it her life's mission to rekindle, not abandon.


It wasn't about a rekindle, we still had, and after talking, have that. You can't make another person happy, you can't fix someone, they have to find the way themselves. She was always so kind and generous with everything . . . but that can't fix this and she knew it.



> She's more concerned about the car than with him.


See previous, that is not the case. She is trying to set up space where she can be independent for a while and find herself again. You can't do that without transportation. She was really afraid I was trying to hurt her.



> I can't figure out who is more mental here


So grateful to be your side show. I am 60, she is 59, and it really doesn't matter the ways and means, what matters is she felt she had to run and I can clearly see why, even though you cannot. So I am giving her that space, maybe she will be back, maybe not, but I hope she finds the happiness I couldn't give her either way.



> So out of the goodness of her heart she left you dangling. Saying her behavior is suspicious is an understatement.


I cannot recount to you the times I went to all those places and worse. She has been a wreck, and still is, she knows what this has done to both of us and needs to find herself again, and wants me to as well. It doesn't matter that you don't get it. As for suspicious, she is staying with her sister and trying to get a job in that area, at least, for now. We talked earlier and discussed what that could mean, that every moment apart would make it easier and easier to let go forever (I have been there,) and she says that is not how she feels right now. Only time will tell, I guess, but I have to assume she is gone.



> Have you checked her phone bill to see who she is commiserating with and getting advice from?


Yeah, sure, and followed her around and stalked her too. :-\ That would by the stereotypical possessive behavior that most women expect of all males, who's the crazy psycho here? Heck no. Anyway it would be her sister, if anyone.



> Because it's what she would do.


Awesome. You have no clue who you are talking about and can make that assessment. Keep judging, the world needs more of that, I hope it makes you feel very large.

EasyPartner doesn't even deserve a response.



> ... she was not willing to get at least a part time job to take that pressure off of you?


Of course she was! You missed the point about the work and the job. See above, our ages, it was never about the MONEY. I make plenty of money. Not quite enough to give her *(read carefully)* the life **I** thought she deserved, but sufficient. Besides, neither of us thought it was worth her time to work a crap job and have Unca Sammy take most of it away. I was happy to give her the space to do whatever she wanted. The last few years there are some physical issues that made that even harder for her, probably making her feel more trapped, I donno. So, yeah. Missed the mark on that one.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

SdSurfer said:


> Thank at least some of you for your replies. As mentioned at the outset, you are only hearing one side of the story, and I am the kind of person that knows how to get real with himself. You may also forget we have talked once, a long deep talk, I hear it in her voice. She had to have very good reason for doing this, this way, and I believe that without a doubt.


Hard stop.

This is total BS.

People do flaky things all the time. In fact, more than 80% of human behavior is driven by raw emotion.... usually fear.

Rather than absolve her, why don't you tell us what it was like for her when she was growing up?


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Keke24 said:


> I cannot fathom how in the world one justifies their spouse completely abandoning them without warning. This is mature adult behaviour? I can't figure out who is more mental here, your wife for blatantly deceiving and abandoning her husband or you romanticizing this as @farsidejunky put it. outrageous


Yup,

Read that part, then read the OP *sorry for the 2x4* waffling on about empaths and how he drove her away.

Bull.

This is the very definition of cruelty and immaturity *the wife that is*. Ghosting seems to be a very popular thing these days, but what's the aim? Someone comes home and finds everything gone, no address, the shock and confusion, the panic then the self blame or even the mind wandering if there is someone else.

I don't know what the OP wants? Defend your wife's behavior, it's you that has to live with this, not one person in this forum. Unless you beat her or where unwantonly cruel to her there is no reason to do what she did. None.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

A woman that is 59 years old doesn't leave her husband of many years who provides all her security and needs for reasons of "because it can't be fixed", in ONE DAY.

You are truly delusional. 

Your wife has:

Thought about this for a long time, and apparently has been MISLEADING YOU. But your gentle snowflake couldn't and wouldn't MISLEAD YOU, would she?

She GHOSTED her own husband, and you sing her praises? She's an "empath", yet she leaves you out of the blue and doesn't contact you for 2 freakin' weeks???? Geez, if she has all this empathy, how could she not see how that would SCARE and CRUSH a person? You're contemplating suicide, apparently, while telling us she's an empath....... It's nonsensical.

What did SHE bring to the marriage? All I hear about from you, OP, is that YOU think SHE deserved x,y,z and you couldn't provide, yet you say you make PLENTY of money? This doesn't compute for mere average guys like me. Please explain: 

I hope you understand that if your story is true, I know you are in tremendous pain and NOBODY thinks clearly when faced with such pain. I hope you realize none of us here want to hurt you, but we do want to point out that you are not thinking clearly and it's obvious to anyone on the outside looking into your world.

If you have a best friend and tell him this story, he will tell you to:

At least consider that there may be infidelity, and do some sleuthing to make sure it's not the case. Why? Because when a woman that is totally dependent on a man leaves him out of the blue for no apparent reason, it usually is infidelity. Not always. You may have the exception. Don't bet on it. Do you know how many guys think their wives would never do this? It's more than one, let's put it that way.

Consider lots of other reasons than "it couldn't be fixed"........ Because that makes no sense. 

You couldn't change jobs and work less and spend more time with her? You couldn't change what she needed since according to you, she loves you so much and you're both so in love? Because nobody is a mind reader. You aren't. Your wife isn't.
And if she left without so much as giving you a slight opportunity to know what's bothering her and give you the chance to fix it, she is NOT the incredibly loving empath that you describe her as.

The first poster that responded is right. You are hurting, and you have your wife on a pedestal.

I'm so sorry. I hope in time you see that this is not all your fault, and that you can let her go and find someone else to love. 
YOur wife abandoned you, for whatever reason. She's not a saint.


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

OP-

Buy her a car, get her a house and pay her 3k per month.

She won't be scared anymore. At least that issue is off the plate and she can tell you that at age 59, most spouses in beautiful relationships, best friends and cuddles forever...

Just up and leave.
This could be an interesting case study for GoneGirl phenom.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Shes crazy as a fist full of smahed bannans!


And I would bet theres another man or woman in the picture.


My advice is go Donald on her ass!

Play hardball call a lawyer and protect yourself!


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Wow the OP made me cringe reading it. That is more or less what my ex did. She even staged the end to allow me to take the blame. And just like the OP I did. And then defended her to anyone who would listen, you know, since I had been such a bad H.
OP, the only thing it sounds like you were guilty of was trying to do the best that you knew how. If anything you should be proud of that, not wallowing in self pity and making excuses. Its tough though, I did it for awhile myself.
Hopefully, over time, you will come to understand, that a loving wife wouldn't just walk out on you. Hopefully, you will come to realize that it wasn't that you extinguished the flame, as much as it was snuffed out of you by the ever increasing expectations of you wife.
You are correct that in order to have a healthy happy relationship you need to take care of yourself. I suggest you do that. Then in the future, you will find someone who can just accept you for you.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

SdSurfer said:


> She has only the money she took from our account, the car, no job, and is scared s**tless. She knows what this has done to me, and no idea where I would go with it. *So of course she thought I was trying to hurt her*. Sheesh.
> 
> If she was so empathic wouldn't she know better?
> 
> ...


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## SdSurfer (Mar 23, 2018)

Some of you are the most judgemental and shallow people I have seen on the Internet, and this is what I have been doing for a living for over 20 years. I came here because writing is a cathartic release for me, it usually helps after something traumatic. I do not seek advice, I do not hope for answers, I already have them, it just helps me to write them out. None of the last replies deserve a response, the ability to read what you want into my words is far more important to your shallow egos than actually understanding what is going on here.

You do not know this gentle creature, can't hear her voice and know what she is feeling, and for most of you, I am glad you don't, I wouldn't want people like you in my life. I just got back from the first therapy session I have ever had in my life, and she says not to close that door because we just don't know. Just focus on myself right now, getting healthy again and take one day at a time. Apparently all of you are far smarter and wiser than she is.

I do not hold on for some naive notion she is coming back, or pine because she is gone. I ache because I know it was me that drove her to this, and accept full responsibility for my part in it. This person deserves whatever she wants out of life, and I will help her. Because that is what humans do, unlike many of the lifeless vultures in this thread. No matter what happens from this moment forward, she is the closest of family, and you don't turn your back on family, you support them in whatever they choose, even if it means letting go of a large part of yourself.

I will refer to this thread next time someone asks me what the f*** is wrong with people.


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## SdSurfer (Mar 23, 2018)

Malaise said:


> What happened to make her lose herself? Seriously.


I will answer this one, even though I've already given you the answer. She used to be independent and stand on her own, but after coming here she just didn't feel like she fit in and was reliant on only me. People in this city are so shallow, it was hard for her to make bonds because everyone is so phony. So all she is left with this guy who used to be fun and bright, and a joy to be around, who was just losing his s**t and he didn't even see it. I totally get it, and I'm sorry you don't.



> If she was so empathic wouldn't she know better?


Grab a dictionary. I didn't say psychic. :-\


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

SdSurfer said:


> Some of you are the most judgemental and shallow people I have seen on the Internet, and this is what I have been doing for a living for over 20 years. I came here because writing is a cathartic release for me, it usually helps after something traumatic. I do not seek advice, I do not hope for answers, I already have them, it just helps me to write them out. None of the last replies deserve a response, the ability to read what you want into my words is far more important to your shallow egos than actually understanding what is going on here.
> 
> You do not know this gentle creature, can't hear her voice and know what she is feeling, and for most of you, I am glad you don't, I wouldn't want people like you in my life. I just got back from the first therapy session I have ever had in my life, and she says not to close that door because we just don't know. Just focus on myself right now, getting healthy again and take one day at a time. Apparently all of you are far smarter and wiser than she is.
> 
> ...


Sounds like your also very judgmental! 

But its cool most Humans are!

Vultures not so much.

Puppies ,rainbows, and unicorns!


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

Is this a giant bear trap?

Or the opening lines to a novel.

Good luck and may your loving , empath emerge from her chrysalis soon. With no car.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

SdSurfer said:


> I will answer this one, even though I've already given you the answer. She used to be independent and stand on her own, but after coming here she just didn't feel like she fit in and was reliant on only me. People in this city are so shallow, it was hard for her to make bonds because everyone is so phony. So all she is left with this guy who used to be fun and bright, and a joy to be around, who was just losing his s**t and he didn't even see it. I totally get it, and I'm sorry you don't.
> 
> Grab a dictionary. I didn't say psychic. :-\


Now I get why she left.


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

SdSurfer said:


> Some of you are the most judgemental and shallow people I have seen on the Internet, No matter what happens from this moment forward, she is the closest of family, and you don't turn your back on family, you support them in whatever they choose,e.


Geeze surfer-

Support whatever she chooses which apparently is-

Not live with you
Get a car
Get a house and get Money.

Did I miss something?


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

SdSurfer said:


> I will answer this one, even though I've already given you the answer. She used to be independent and stand on her own, but after coming here she just didn't feel like she fit in and was reliant on only me. People in this city are so shallow, -\


Where is "here" and people in what city are shallow?

What do you do for a living?
Do you own your home?
Have health insurance?



I'm assuming not South Dakota Surfer but one never knows!


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

The nice guy guilt trip.

For cathartic release, one would choose a diary.

An internet forum you're going to get opinions. Now those opinions may not match up with yours but you'll get them none the less.

Your wife is a gentle creature who ghosted you.

But you're free to show people this thread to show the a perfect example of the ills of the world.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

OK. I'm struggling to make sense of this. I know a lot of late 50s women. I don't know any that are flaky enough to run out of their husband like this. Either she must be a major snowflake or there is something else going on here. The OP writes like she's doing it for him, but that he's also distraught. That makes no sense. There are a lot of unknowns here, but the most likely scenario from my very distant perspective is that the OP is delusional and his wife is playing to his delusions to escape.


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

FalCod said:


> OK. I'm struggling to make sense of this. I know a lot of late 50s women. I don't know any that are flaky enough to run out of their husband like this. Either she must be a major snowflake or there is something else going on here. The OP writes like she's doing it for him, but that he's also distraught. That makes no sense. There are a lot of unknowns here, but the most likely scenario from my very distant perspective is that the OP is delusional and his wife is playing to his delusions to escape.


Or-

She is sick of him chasing waves and having one car- at 59.


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## SdSurfer (Mar 23, 2018)

LOL umm, reading is fundamental. Two cars in the household. That should be obvious since she took hers and I drive to work every day. But I totally get it. Vultures like to pick at the bits they find most tasty to make themselves feel better about themselves. By all means, continue, no human beings found here. Should have known better.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

@SdSurfer, just breathe and listen to your reaction to these inputs?

A lot of frustration and anger... and no one can make you that way but yourself.

It may be better to journal your thoughts in private than to publicize them on an internet forum where a variety of experiences give you a variety of responses but I am going to ask, what do you think it would take to relight your light and bring her close again?

You might consider doing it for you alone first then let that attraction draw in what you may be seeking... too strong and you burn all around you, too little and you have reduced the vision for yourself and others.

The life you thought she deserved may not have been the life she wanted... or found herself in. 

If you do to much for others they lose purpose... could this be so in your world?

Pedestals take on many forms yet the fall will always hurt no matter which side of it one's view is, the descender or the observer... you wife may have finally developed a fear of heights.

Listen... her actions may be telling you a lot more than you can see right now.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

I feel like there is A LOT missing in your story.

I get it, writing down your emotions can be a release etc. But based on facts alone (that you provided), it’s difficult to wrap the head around WHY she was kissing/loving you one moment, and next, she was gone. You haven’t really provided an actual explanation, but your (emotional) interpretation why she may have left. That’s why one is inclined to conclude that she was selfish if she just felt like leaving out of the blue. What else did you expect people to say? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

inmyprime said:


> I feel like there is A LOT missing in your story.
> 
> I get it, writing down your emotions can be a release etc. But based on facts alone (that you provided), it’s difficult to wrap the head around WHY she was kissing/loving you one moment, and next, she was gone. You haven’t really provided an actual explanation, but your (emotional) interpretation why she may have left. That’s why one is inclined to conclude that she was selfish if she just felt like leaving out of the blue. What else did you expect people to say?


Unless it was an all out fearful panic attack of unknown means... it had to be something thought of over time and finally acted on.

Fight or flight takes many forms too...


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

SdSurfer said:


> I came to share my story,
> 
> I come home, all her stuff is gone. Wouldn't answer my texts, wouldn't talk to me, won't give me one inkling of what was so wrong that the only person I cared about would do this to me. Just . . . gone.
> 
> ...


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

*Check your phone bill.*

Women don't just up and leave without having somewhere or someone to go to.

Right now you have your love blinders on and won't listen to reason.

When you get over your shock and wake up you'll find out the truth. She's not a special snowflake that you've portrayed her to be.

Until then you'll wallow in blaming yourself in this 100% and you're dead wrong.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> @SdSurfer, just breathe and listen to your reaction to these inputs?
> 
> A lot of frustration and anger... and no one can make you that way but yourself.
> 
> ...


This is really good stuff.

I'm reminded of those folks that "implement" the Love Languages.

Of course, human beings are quite extreme... so we immediately go to those languages that speak to "us" and start using them. Then we wonder why our partner doesn't feel loved.

Well, that may not be what she was looking for? If her love language is "acts of service" and you're constantly buying her stuff because you're a "gift" person.... it's a disconnect.

In fact, she may actually begin to resent the gifts, as she isn't reciprocating - and it makes her feel guilty, rather than loved.

As I've read this thread, I've thought of this movie often:


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

SdSurfer said:


> Some of you are the most judgemental and shallow people I have seen on the Internet, and this is what I have been doing for a living for over 20 years. I came here because writing is a cathartic release for me, it usually helps after something traumatic. I do not seek advice, I do not hope for answers, I already have them, it just helps me to write them out. None of the last replies deserve a response, the ability to read what you want into my words is far more important to your shallow egos than actually understanding what is going on here.
> 
> You do not know this gentle creature, can't hear her voice and know what she is feeling, and for most of you, I am glad you don't, I wouldn't want people like you in my life. I just got back from the first therapy session I have ever had in my life, and she says not to close that door because we just don't know. Just focus on myself right now, getting healthy again and take one day at a time. Apparently all of you are far smarter and wiser than she is.
> 
> ...


Sounds like you have it all figured out.......Everyone here has more experience than you do in these matters. Being confrontational here is not going to help you. Good luck with your strategy.


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