# questions for all the cheaters??



## tarheel68 (Sep 17, 2008)

I have a question for others ,,, myself im in second marriage and have been comepletly faithful in this marriage . In my first marriage i had an affair and quite honestly couldnt live with the guilt even though our marriage had alot of issues . Question: How long did it take you to break it off with the other man/woman and how many chances did your spouse give you after you promised to stop having contact with the other person,,


Reason i ask, My wife has had an affair and even after she told me she would have no other contact with this guy ,i caught her lying . This affair was only found out less than 2 weeks ago and i know it is hard to break ties with someone you have grown to have feelings for and i am trying to be understanding but i want that chapter closed .

Im not at fault in this situation, i have neglected my wifes pleas for more time and understanding of her needs ..We have communicated alot in the past 2 weeks and we both have said we want to work it out . I want to be the husband she wants and we are going to start with a councellor tommorow 

So if i could get some input from everyone ,,would be greatly appreciated


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I never cheated ever, but have help people through it on both sides.

For your marriage to work she needs to cut all ties now. She might mourn for a bit just like losing any relationship, but her contact with TOM is poisoning your marriage

draconis


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## peacefully (Nov 13, 2009)

IMO, all ties need to be severed immediately. No contact. If she does not respect that, then she is not showing real commitment to the marriage. Out of respect for you and your marriage she needs to not be in contact with him again. 
Sure, it might be painful for her, but she made that choice and now has to deal with the consequences.
If she does not sever contact you need to make a consequence and stand by it, for your sake.


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## Sven (Nov 18, 2009)

I wish tarheel would come back and let us know how things are going.


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