# Ideas on blowing my mans mind



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

My fiance and I have a pretty good sex life, usually every other day, but I've been noticing more and more that it's pretty much the same thing every time. He works hard and I appreciate and respect and love him so much, I really want to make things special for him. I guess I'm looking for a way to make things hot for him. I have the higher libido and would have sex a couple times a day if possible, but he's content with how things are now, so I let him intiate sex, more than I (fear of being turned down I suppose). Spooning and doggy style are the most common positions we use. I use massages frequently on him, as well as bj's.

I don't want either one of us to become bored or unhappy with our sex life, so would anyone be able to suggest maybe something new? 

Note: Both of us are a little insecure about our bodies, and we are currently working out and dieting before our wedding. 

Thanks in advance


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

First off.

What are your boundaries? And his boundaries?


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Well sexual boundaries for both of us are no urine, scat, vomit, animals or children. No other people. Light bondage is okay for both of us. I really like to be called dirty names in bed, but he's not comfortable with that, so we've compromised on him pulling my hair some. Other than that, I think anything else is a go.

Is that what you're looking for?
Myself, I am pretty open minded and willing to try anything once as long as it doesn't have anything to do with those mentioned above.
He is a little bit more reserved than I am. I want him to have fun and enjoy things, but I don't want him to step to far out of his comfort zone, and stress him out or make him uncomfortable.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Make sure you show him appreciation not just inside the bedroom, but outside the bedroom. My H literally laps up that too. 

You might want to do something like reading the "5 Love Languages" together so that you can find out what kinds of things really 'speak' to the other. Who knows? You might find that there's a key outside of what you are thinking that could be the thing that blows his mind. The 5 Love Languages | The 5 Love Languages®

As well, here's a site with a whole bunch of positions - for PIV and for oral. You might just want to start at the top and work your way down adding a new position every week or so. Your Guide for Sex Tips | SexInfo101.com

There's similar sites for learning different techniques for giving BJs and HJs that you can easily Google.

Most of all - enjoy the journey. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> Make sure you show him appreciation not just inside the bedroom, but outside the bedroom. My H literally laps up that too.
> 
> You might want to do something like reading the "5 Love Languages" together so that you can find out what kinds of things really 'speak' to the other. Who knows? You might find that there's a key outside of what you are thinking that could be the thing that blows his mind. The 5 Love Languages | The 5 Love Languages®
> 
> ...


Oh for sure. I love cooking for him, and relaxing and watching t.v. Going out with him. I do whatever I can to make life good for both of us. 

I will check that book out, I've seen it mentioned here quite a bit, and I think that it might help things outside the bedroom. I am more emotional and I don't want to say clingy, but for me actions are better than words, not that words aren't nice, but when he shows me he loves me and that I mean a lot to him, I love that. He's a little more distant, cool, levelheaded and usually doesn't run off of emotions like I do.

Thanks for the recommendations  And thanks for the congratulations! I can't wait to be his wife


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## theduck (Jan 2, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Well sexual boundaries for both of us are no urine, scat, vomit, animals or children. No other people. Light bondage is okay for both of us. I really like to be called dirty names in bed, but he's not comfortable with that, so we've compromised on him pulling my hair some. Other than that, I think anything else is a go.
> 
> Is that what you're looking for?
> Myself, I am pretty open minded and willing to try anything once as long as it doesn't have anything to do with those mentioned above.
> He is a little bit more reserved than I am. I want him to have fun and enjoy things, but I don't want him to step to far out of his comfort zone, and stress him out or make him uncomfortable.


I've found tantric sex to be excellent for strengthening sexual intimacy. 

Or roleplaying. My wife and I create some fairly long erotic stories and act them out. One chapter everytime we have sex. 

Create some amateur porn. Record yourself having sex while watching your amateur porn. Repeat.

I'm sort of wondering why I asked you about your sexual boundaries. I mean, I guess I could type out a list of sex stuff. Probably easier for you to google them. Hmmm. I guess I'm a goof.

Anyway, congratulations. Hope you have a happy marriage.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

theduck said:


> I've found tantric sex to be excellent for strengthening sexual intimacy.
> 
> Or roleplaying. My wife and I create some fairly long erotic stories and act them out. One chapter everytime we have sex.
> 
> ...


Thank you for the ideas, roleplaying seems pretty exciting to think about, I'm going to look into that some more and find something we both would like. I'd like to do the amateur porn as well, but as of right now, we don't even have sex with the lights on, and working on our self esteem issues. So maybe one day that will be a possibility. 

Thanks again


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> but as of right now, we don't even have sex with the lights on, and working on our self esteem issues. So maybe one day that will be a possibility.


My default response here: blindfold.

Could you blindfold him and tease him all over? Have candle-light. Take your time exploring his body, engage all his senses. Ice-cubes are handy. Allow him to feel parts of you brushing against him.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Reverse cowgirl.

You on top but facing his feet.
The visual is simply erotic as hell, men are visually stimulated and this position gives him the perfect perspective to appreciate your assets.
Just let him Lay there and make him feel good
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> My default response here: blindfold.
> 
> Could you blindfold him and tease him all over? Have candle-light. Take your time exploring his body, engage all his senses. Ice-cubes are handy. Allow him to feel parts of you brushing against him.


Ohhhh I like that idea a lot, yeah I think I might use that this weekend ~


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Reverse cowgirl.
> 
> You on top but facing his feet.
> The visual is simply erotic as hell, men are visually stimulates and this position gives Jim the perfect perspective to appreciate your assets.
> ...


I enjoy that quite a bit, tonight he's in trouble bwuaha!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Not only new positions, but new places!

Have you tried moving outside of the bedroom? The living room, kitchen, etc? Even the bathroom would still be very private, secure, but different.
We have spiced it up in the backyard when we know most of our neighbors are away, hotel balconies, the car, etc.
Sometimes a little perceived "naughtiness" really makes it more exciting.
Be a "bad girl" and lie outside in the sun and have your "pool boy" rub you down with suntan lotion.


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## SoWhat (Jan 7, 2012)

I love an unexpected place at an unexpected time. 

We went on a lovely, super romantic date a few months ago. 
And then she demanded we go to a dive bar for a drink. She promptly took me in the front seat of the car in the parking lot. I still think about that when I get off!!


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## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

What a breath of fresh air this thread is! Its lovely to come across such happy and inspiring messages!

Scaredandunsure - your future husband is a very lucky guy! If he is half as good to you as you are to him....you'll be in a life long union!

Good for you, good for him and good luck!


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

7737 said:


> What a breath of fresh air this thread is! Its lovely to come across such happy and inspiring messages!
> 
> Scaredandunsure - your future husband is a very lucky guy! If he is half as good to you as you are to him....you'll be in a life long union!
> 
> Good for you, good for him and good luck!


Thanks, I hope so too. He is good to me, works hard and we have fun together. Sometimes his "aloofness" bothers me, but that's just who he is. I wouldn't change him for the world. Unfortunantly I got rejected last night, he has started a new job so he doesn't have to travel (which makes me so very happy, he was gone 4 months this year and I hated every second of it) and he has been very tired. I understand and didn't take it too personally, though yeah it kind of hurt. I will try tonight though  We don't go more than a couple of days in between, and if anything, I've got my toys to help me through.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Lose an argument and tell him he's right one time. The seas will part.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Simple


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Lose an argument and tell him he's right one time. The seas will part.


We don't argue. Well, we haven't had anything to argue over yet. I'm pretty fantastic, and talk instead of yell or voice my issues in an unpleasant way.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> Simple


Oh man, I wish!


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## Erom (Jan 24, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Is that what you're looking for?
> Myself, I am pretty open minded and willing to try anything once as long as it doesn't have anything to do with those mentioned above.
> He is a little bit more reserved than I am. I want him to have fun and enjoy things, but I don't want him to step to far out of his comfort zone, and stress him out or make him uncomfortable.


Just a few things I like/would like:

Circle days or weekends on the calender, mark "NT" - Naked Time, from the time you/he enter until you leave the house, clothes to be left in the drawers or at the front door (have a robe handy in case of unannounced visitors) and if the back yard/deck is private enough, include this area as well.

Use the computer webcam or video camera to film yourself masturbating with your favorite or a new toy while talking about how much he turns you on.

Go to a sex toy/clothing store, let him pick out stuff you to try (or try on at the store) be complete $lut for him, remember your boundaries "anything at least once" and Yeah, he might be a little uncomfortable (at first) but I'm sure he'll have a ball

Leave shaving implements out, with a note, telling him you want him to shave your legs and complete pubic area or you want to have his pubic area or both.

Wear a short skirt with nothing underneath the next time you go out to dinner, make sure he knows before you get too far out of the driveway, by pulling your skirt up enough for a peak. at dinner, if your in a secluded enough area, or table with low table cloth, take his hand and guide it under your skirt while talking to him (or others at the table) and again if possible, when leaving the restaurant, get in the back seat leave the door open and pull your skirt up and tell him your riding like that until you get home or until he gets in the back and eats you until you cream (or both)

Let him tie you up or a little self bondage or a friend help you prepare - collared, cuffed, maybe tied face down or up, on either the bed or a table, over the arm a sofa, with a note stuck on you/text it to him or hang in plain site, just inside the door (make sure you know where everyone is going to be or be doing, so you won't be surprised or found by anyone but him) telling him you're his toy for the night or for how ever long you feel comfortable, but with a PS.... it's his turn next to be your toy for same length of time the next time.

Gender switch for Halloween, even if its only at home, good for laughs at the very least. *at best maybe a little black mail for later on. And if he cleans up nice, tell him you want to sleep with another woman, but only "HER"

Offer up an back door, if you never have or rarely have, but of course turn about is fair play, he can only have yours if you get his either before or after - you might have to get a strap on (equal or smaller than his equipment) or use your dildo or vibrator.

If you have pets, hang your/his leash and collar next to theirs, make sure it has a tag with either your/his name or "his/her per" on it (although if you have kids.... That or some of these might be an problem - unless you can schedule it while their out of town, at grandparents or aunts/uncles or friends and are sure they won't be popping in to grab anything from home)

Let him select your clothing for the night, the weekend, or from now on, or even a shopping trip, if he'll pay, he
can select what you wear or don't wear. for the rest of the night, the weekend, or even longer.

Any or all of these would/do drive me crazy, love or would love any or all of them.


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## Erom (Jan 24, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> he was gone 4 months this year and I hated every second of it) and he has been very tired. I understand and didn't take it too personally, though yeah it kind of hurt. I will try tonight though  We don't go more than a couple of days in between, and if anything, I've got my toys to help me through.


again, video or photograph of you playing with your toys, telling him (or note attached) saying you wish he was there to help or replace them.

picture texts with little or nothing on while he's at work... make sure after the first (maybe only a little peak) he knows they're for his viewing pleasure only (delete them later, while he's in the shower, if your not in there with him, and if he complains about them being deleted, tell him "if you don't mention it again, maybe, I'll send some new ones soon...." He might appreciate, fresh and frequent ones


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