# My wife sent nudes to her cousin and friends



## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

I am 18 m my wife is 21, yesterday I was using my wife’s phone, I seen her notifications and one stood out it said “ if you can’t neither can I baby 😜” I immediately clicked and I seen that she had sent nudes to her friends and she even has her cousin as one of them she is from Ecuador, and she is known to be very attractive in the way she dresses she has never done this before, I am shocked, I don’t know what to do I confronted her very aggressively but I controlled myself, she had let her best friend use her phone over the weekend because her friend didn’t have one she couldn’t pay for data so my wife lended it to her, my wife said that her friend has a thing for her cousin and she didn’t have a great body so she sent pics of her body for her, she never showed her face but I know what my wife’s body looks like I’ve seen it plenty of times, I don’t know what to believe was she cheating or was she genuinely helping her friend? I feel like I can’t trust her anymore...we have a baby on the way and she broke down in tears when I told her that I can’t trust her anymore because she hid that from me, she had to know that was there, she also told me that she didn’t cheat it was her friend who did it but she also said that she didn’t know until after so she changed her story twice, last night she tried to make me feel better and did a lot of extra stuff for me like she put on a nice dress and wore heels in the house I usually have to beg her for that , she also went out of her way to cook a big dinner when I got home, I think she is guilty and that’s why she is doing all of this, but I just don’t know what I need to do I love her with all my heart, we are having a child, but she sent nudes to other men and mentally I can’t handle it I feel wrong laying beside her as I type this, I’m crying silently and I feel like I’m not what she wants anymore, I work all day literally from 7 am to 9 pm I have two jobs I’m off on the weekend and we always spend time together, but now I just feel like I’m laying beside someone’s toy I don’t see her as the woman I love I see her as someone I used to know, I won’t even take a shower with her I feel so broken please someone help me and tell me what to do I’m lost I don’t want to lose her but I feel like I’m losing our love and I definitely don’t trust her anymore every time I ask her to talk about it she starts crying or she tells me that it won’t happen again and she gets mad that I bring it up the farthest we got was she told me that she loves me and she has never cheated on me and she swore to God that she didn’t cheat and she also said that she will never let it happen again


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

She deliberately sent nudies to her own cousin. What more do you need to know?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Your W needs IC. Taking nudes of oneself and sending off on the complete contact list on ones phone is not normal.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

So, why does she have nude selfies on her phone that her "friend" could send? And if the story is correct, why would she send it to her friends as WELL as her cousin? Next, the pics would come from HER PHONE, not her friend -- the text didn't say "Oh by the way, this is XXXX and NOT (your wife) sending these" did it? Her story doesn't seem to make much sense.
Also if the story has changed in that short of a time, it's because she is scrambling to make up something that isn't real.
.

See if she will let you look at her phone with NO restrictions or NO chance of her getting in a deleting stuff (although she may have done that already). You could get software that will let you get deleted items on her phone (Fonelab is one). You should also have access to her email/social media and see what shows up there, but again, she may have scrubbed those already.

REALLY sorry you are going through this


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

You two can't have been married long.

Best to realize the potential challenges ahead now.

If you accept her apologies accept them fully without future resentments or don't accept apologies and get a quick D.

The nude pics sending is pretty bad but balance that with younger generation persons sometimes think less of this type of pic than more mature folks so it may be an unintended slight.

Balanced with poor judgment which is normal to occur time to time in persons so young, as you both.

This may or may not e a deal breaker for you. You've got a lot to think about. 

Potentially you two may have 40 years of a blissful marriage or this may be a red flag for a troublesome marriage. 

Your call.


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## blahfridge (Dec 6, 2014)

At 18 and 21 you are both very young to be married, imo. Tell her she needs to go to marriage counseling with you and do individual counseling as well. She needs to cut contact with bad influences and be open with you about everything. If she agrees to do this, then you may have a chance together. You can grow up together through this experience and come out the other side stronger if she is willing. I wish you good luck, OP.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

To use a not so technical term: Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
She is one sick pup. She needs intensive IC and an entire rebuild of those she associates with.
Nudes to her cousin. Ewwwwwww, again.
Why would someone as young as you want to be attached to someone like this?
Find yourself a good woman with proper values that truly wants to be with you, instead of attaching yourself to an anchor that is at best a "Fixer-upper."
Unload this one quicker than a ton of hot coal.


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## shortbus (Jul 25, 2017)

Wow, I can understand your heartbreak, my sympathies to you.
You're in a bad situation and are very emotional right now, rightly so.
You both are so very young, and the matter is complicated by the fact she's pregnant.
You rightly feel as though you can't trust her, she's broken that.
Now the unemotional advice to you. What state are you in? Some states you can't divorce a pregnant wife.
I would get a prenatal DNA test on the baby she's carrying. I'd also get an STD test for yourself. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER.
What you've found is probably just the tip of the iceberg. To do something like she's done, doesn't sound like a first time thing.
I'm very sorry, but my advice would be to divorce. You two should be in your 'honeymoon' phase in your marriage, and you find this?
DO NOT SIGN A BIRTH CERTIFICATE, GET YOUR ASS TO A LAWYER. FILE FOR DIVORCE.
Unfortunately, if the child is yours, welcome to an 18 year sentence in baby jail. Try to coparent the best you can and be the best dad you can be.
I'm sorry for your situation. I've given you the same advice I would give to my own son.


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## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

I woke up this morning and she was already awake and she cooked breakfast (she never does this) she also left a note on the bed side and she said “ I have thought about everything, I’m sorry I was wrong, I am nothing but a dirty **** to you now and you probably hate me, but I love you more than anything the only reason I sent those photos was because I felt like I wasn’t getting enough attention from you, but now I see that attention is worth nothing without love” and her phone is broken into pieces right beside the letter she destroyed it, I asked her why and she said that she doesn’t want it she only wants me, she said that she messed up big time and she sat down with me and told me that she has never had sex with anyone other than me but she has sent nudes to other people before this, And she confessed everything she has ever done, she never cheated it was always online I feel like I slightly have trust in her again, she is trying really hard to win me over she told me today before I left for work “ I love you, you are the man I love and you are the man I want and need, so if you want me as soon as you get home do it if you want me to give you head as soon as you walk through the door that’s great I’m your wife and I know my place, she also told me I can go in the backdoor which is somthing she would never do before she acts like she is a whole new person after she came clean with me, and I told her that when I come home it would be nice to relax and get rid of some stress, she winked and slapped her butt and told me that she is “happy to take care of my hard working man” Update: i got home from my first job today I found my wife on the couch waiting for me and she immediately jumped up and I had to catch her and hold her to keep her from falling and she kissed me and held me tight and she had mascara running down her face and I asked her what was wrong she said “I’ve thought about you and are baby and I messed up and I know you don’t trust me but I won’t do that stuff anymore, I was afraid that you weren’t going to come home and she started crying more, she wouldn’t let go of me she is very small only 5ft and 105lbs very slim but has the weight in all the right places and easy to carry im 6ft 2 and 180lbs she started to kiss me and she acted like she was a wild animal she immediately got onto her knees after we kissed and she put her hair up and she got to “work” after that I’m now feeling a lot better and I promised her I’m not leaving, I told her that I could never abandon her or my child and I told her that we will get through this together, before I left she gave me a note warning this is graphic this is exactly the note my wife wrote to me “ I am your wife and what we did just now was amazing I could finally enjoy a special moment without being stressed or worried about you finding the stuff on my phone (I always enjoyed sucking your horse ****, taking it all the way hurts but you better give it to me tonight and your going in the backdoor like you always wanted) jayson I love you, and you better be excited about tonight because I am, we’re gonna try new things, btw call me mommy tonight cause I’m gonna breastfeed you after we are done that’s the fetish I never told you about”


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

If you want to reunite, that's fine. That's your decision.
However, the hysterical bonding is very typical in an infidelity situation.
Best you at a minimum, take some precautions.
She needs some serious IC. Demand she get it.
DNA test for the child and STD tests all around.
Full transparency on all electronics and social media and a new friend group.
In the interest of brevity, I have only hit a few. More details are on the forum including having her do a timeline.
Utilize them all.
Make her do the work. She cheated, not you.
Best of luck.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

It sounds like you two are on the right track for the age of your relationship.

It's best not to keep staying over and over you'd never leave her. She needs to know your staying, to give it another go, if she acts right, but she needs to keep that little bit of a reminder in her mind that you will leave if she goes amiss in her actions.

Say all this just once, and give it a chance. Don't reverse the roles and you become a puppy dog to her. 

She must understand you're a grown dog and will stand alone if you need to.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

That she destroyed her phone makes me wonder what ELSE you would have found on there if you had been able to go through it.
WHO ELSE did she send those images to? Yes she may have confessed, but only AFTER you caught her.
Those people need to be cut out of your lives COMPLETELY.


Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> she has never had sex with anyone other than me but she has sent nudes to other people before this, And she confessed everything she has ever done, she never cheated it was always online


She's wrong -- she HAS cheated, just not physically (and without any other verificaton, how would you KNOW that she hasn't with any of the other guys she sent her pics to??)

Her love bombing you with sex ("anything you want") is to try and distract you from what she did.


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## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

Today has been different to say the least, I’m surprised about a lot of things, I got a call from her while I’m at my second job and she set up marriage counciling online for next week, She asked me what she can do to make me trust her again and I told her I’m not sure yet anyone know any ways we can build trust? I know she was wrong and I don’t have to stress but can anyone give me advice on how to build trust with her and to move on from this


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## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

She destroyed her phone but we have a home phone for everyone who has followed along


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Jayson, you should not make DIFFERENT threads for all of this -- just ADD to the one that you started already. I am guessing that one of the moderators will merge these together...


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Well, there are lots of different ways for you to look at this. 

1) She could could be lying about everything, and i believe that is actually the case. The people that she sent them to, because in your original post, you talked about multiple people. So one of those people could be someone she is having an affair with. The problem is that you DON'T know. So you don't know what she is lying about. 

2) If the above is not enough, since she broke her phone up, you cannot really look at everyting. You cannot do any forensic data recovery on the phone, so again YOU DON'T know. She could be acting like she is really understanding what she did so as an act of love, she broke her phone. That is horse crap. She most likely is destroying evidence. AND NOT YOU CAN NEVER RECOVER IT. So, what, you believe a proven lier and cheater? Probably not the best idea. 

3) When she says that she did not get enough attention from you, that is blame shifting. Shifting blame from her, where is belongs, to you because you did not give her enough attention. So in short you are responsible for her cheating. 

So does that sound all great and the world is good to you??? 

Listen, you guys are young, and this is a bad way to start a life together. 

I think, no kids, that this would be a great time to MOVE ON...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> She destroyed her phone but we have a home phone *for everyone who has followed along*


Uh-huh.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

You do NOT need marriage counseling.
She needs INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING. She is the one who at least had an EA, the marriage didn't.
She needs to get her malfunctions sorted and corrected.
When she gets a handle on her issues, some MARRIAGE COUNSELING may be in order.
You need to get your hands on that phone and have someone download what is on its carcass.
That will help you know where you need to go.
There is a book "How to Help your Spouse survive Your Affair" that is mentioned on this forum quite a bit.
It deals with trust issues.
Your spouse should get a copy and use this as a starting point. She needs to learn it and live it.
The burden is on her to regain your trust. She is the one that betrayed you.


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## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> Uh-huh.


I’m saying that she was able to call me because we have a home phone


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

The sexual smorgasbord she is now offering is problematic. Ummmmm, sorry but I think there are other components to this. She smashed the phone, take the guts to someone who can do a restore. One is completely convinced that she has a lot more to hide.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> I’m saying that she was able to call me because we have a home phone


Jayson, brother, are you reading the replies that people are sending? I ask that because you sure do not seem to be answering or responding to all the things people a writing to you. 

Maybe you don't want to do that, but if you really want advice it helps if you give us more information... 

Good Luck...


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## DTG (Mar 30, 2020)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> Today has been different to say the least, I’m surprised about a lot of things, I got a call from her while I’m at my second job and she set up marriage counciling online for next week, She asked me what she can do to make me trust her again and I told her I’m not sure yet anyone know any ways we can build trust? I know she was wrong and I don’t have to stress but can anyone give me advice on how to build trust with her and to move on from this


Your a young couple starting a family. There will always be tough times and uncertainties, by the sounds of it she is doing all the right things, so if i were you i would put in place all the boundries and rules now which will help garuntee a succesful marriage.

Most people never get the opportunity until its too late, so really take time and listen to advice and set the foundation for a successful marriage.


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## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

BluesPower said:


> Jayson, brother, are you reading the replies that people are sending? I ask that because you sure do not seem to be answering or responding to all the things people a writing to you.
> 
> Maybe you don't want to do that, but if you really want advice it helps if you give us more information...
> 
> Good Luck...


I want to respond to all the messages but I work all day from 7 am to 9pm I have two jobs and it’s tough to keep up my pace, so I try my best, I love her I really do she is the only woman I have ever loved I’m not talking about puppy love, I’m talking about real love, I’m afraid to lose her, but I’m not afraid to keep myself from being used, she is the woman I adore she is having my baby and she has a belly and stretch marks from our child growing inside her she is the most beautiful woman in the world and every time I see her get out of the shower I think to myself how am I so lucky to have her? I admit what she did has changed my view of her slightly but I know we all make mistakes and I prayed for her so many nights and I waited years for her, I’ve only had 3 girlfriends my whole life all in high school every single one I had cheated, and I ended it right away but in my heart I know that I must have faith in her but I try to justify every attempt she makes to prove herself to me even though I know that the comments could be right, and I’ve broke down and cried 4 times at work thinking about her possibly being with another man behind my back, I feel depressed and broken but I don’t let her see that, she comforts me at the same time she destroys me, I almost died the first time she left me before we got married because I cut myself so much I passed out, I wrote her a note a hour before I did and I woke up and she was there crying and holding me, she was shaking me saying stuff like please don’t leave me I love you I can’t be without you I’m so sorry I need you please come back, she was panicking and she called a ambulance and she never left me alone after that for a good three months, she has a thing where she likes roleplay, she started babying me and she likes it when I call her mommy and mom and things like that , she likes to call me her handsome boy and she has wanted to breastfeed me before but I told her she doesn’t produce milk so it isn’t gonna work but now she lactates and she wants to feed me and she told me today that she is gonna feed me every day and it will make our bond stronger some things I’m shy about saying because I don’t want to be made fun of


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> I woke up this morning and she was already awake and she cooked breakfast (she never does this) she also left a note on the bed side and she said “ I have thought about everything, I’m sorry I was wrong, I am nothing but a dirty *** to you now and you probably hate me, but I love you more than anything the only reason I sent those photos was because I felt like I wasn’t getting enough attention from you, but now I see that attention is worth nothing without love” and her phone is broken into pieces right beside the letter she destroyed it, I asked her why and she said that she doesn’t want it she only wants me, she said that she messed up big time and she sat down with me and told me that she has never had sex with anyone other than me but she has sent nudes to other people before this, And she confessed everything she has ever done, she never cheated it was always online I feel like I slightly have trust in her again, she is trying really hard to win me over she told me today before I left for work “ I love you, you are the man I love and you are the man I want and need, so if you want me as soon as you get home do it if you want me to give you head as soon as you walk through the door that’s great I’m your wife and I know my place, she also told me I can go in the backdoor which is somthing she would never do before she acts like she is a whole new person after she came clean with me, and I told her that when I come home it would be nice to relax and get rid of some stress, she winked and slapped her butt and told me that she is “happy to take care of my hard working man” Update: i got home from my first job today I found my wife on the couch waiting for me and she immediately jumped up and I had to catch her and hold her to keep her from falling and she kissed me and held me tight and she had mascara running down her face and I asked her what was wrong she said “I’ve thought about you and are baby and I messed up and I know you don’t trust me but I won’t do that stuff anymore, I was afraid that you weren’t going to come home and she started crying more, she wouldn’t let go of me she is very small only 5ft and 105lbs very slim but has the weight in all the right places and easy to carry im 6ft 2 and 180lbs she started to kiss me and she acted like she was a wild animal she immediately got onto her knees after we kissed and she put her hair up and she got to “work” after that I’m now feeling a lot better and I promised her I’m not leaving, I told her that I could never abandon her or my child and I told her that we will get through this together, before I left she gave me a note warning this is graphic this is exactly the note my wife wrote to me “ I am your wife and what we did just now was amazing I could finally enjoy a special moment without being stressed or worried about you finding the stuff on my phone (I always enjoyed sucking your horse ***, taking it all the way hurts but you better give it to me tonight and your going in the backdoor like you always wanted) jayson I love you, and you better be excited about tonight because I am, we’re gonna try new things, btw call me mommy tonight cause I’m gonna breastfeed you after we are done that’s the fetish I never told you about”


I do not know the back story. So your wife is sending other people nudes pictures of herself and based on your description she may have been involved with conversations with others online that were inappropriate.

It sounds like she got caught, she is in the make it up to you phase.

Well, I do not know your boundaries....if this is not that big of a deal to you or not. For me, talking to men (?) on line and send them nudes of herself is a divorce level offense. I am of the mindset that I do not have to live with crap and live with things that hurt me and make me feel jealous, stressed, insecure, worried. I view life in that....I do not have to deal with that. If my partner starts doing stuff to make me feel that....it is not my obligation to feel it and have to be miserable with her. I leave her and find someone who doesn't do things that hurt me.

There is a very good chance I would have divorced over this. Nude pics are just for me....if I have to share then I'm out....go find some other guy who is ok with sharing.

It sounds as if this is not a divorce level offense for you.

I'm on the outside...I'm not emotionally involved so I would urge you not to get too swept away in this remorseful, I'll do anything for you, it won't happen again mask she's wearing.

You know the truth.....words are cheap. Anyone can say anything. Some people back up their words....some don't. Do not act like her words are law. Just because she told you she never cheated....doesn't mean crap.They sound nice....still keep an eye out and be vigilant. Let her actions prove herself over time.....words mean nothing.

I'd address further with her that "I wasn't getting enough attention....so I played porn model for other guys" issue that it is irrelevant that she felt enough attention or not.....that is NEVER a reason to go do what she did. She comes to you with that stuff and you two work it out together.....running off to get attention outside the marriage is a HUGE RED FLAG. Her having that as her default behavior....that as soon as things in the marriage hit a rough patch....she is running off doing sexual things with others outside the marriage is very, very scary. I would talk to her big time about that....that it is NEVER OK and that you'll leave her if it ever happens again and that she has to come to you and tell you what is wrong and that she is to never look outside the marriage again. If she doesn't feel she can do that then you should divorce now.

Hopefully it never happens again and you both grow closer through this all.

Who did she send these to again? How many people?
So those photos are out there now....ending up on porn websites?
Is her face in them?
Mild nudity or graphic porn level nudity?

PS - I am assuming these are MALE FRIENDS.

Her breaking off all contact with these people.....making them EX FRIENDS that she never sees or talks to again should be a non-negotiable part of this.

I would NOT stay with her another day if she tries to keep them in her life.

I'd also leave her if in the future you ever find out she is secretly still in contact with them behind your back.

Strength and the confidence to just walk out and replace her is what will show her she needs to be loyal and true.....weakness and taking her back after her betraying just emboldens further secrets in the future and she'll not respect you.

She will respect someone who will not dare accept being treated like crap and being disrespected. If you accept it...you teach her how she can treat you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jayson_lesly18484,

I merged your 3 threads into this one. It's best to have one thread for a topic. You will get better input that way.


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## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Jayson_lesly18484,
> 
> I merged your 3 threads into this one. It's best to have one thread for a topic. You will get better input that way.


Thank you I’m new to this honestly


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## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

hinterdir said:


> I do not know the back story. So your wife is sending other people nudes pictures of herself and based on your description she may have been involved with conversations with others online that were inappropriate.
> 
> It sounds like she got caught, she is in the make it up to you phase.
> 
> ...


I put my foot down about her talking to them, she said that she won’t speak to them anymore and I try to control myself because I will lose my temper and I don’t want to let my anger get the best of me she is at home currently we just got done talking on the phone


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

Hmm..I have a question. How do you know for sure who the recipients of the photos were? Did you see the actual phone numbers (not the names of the recipients, the actual numbers) and verify that the numbers really belonged to those people? Because it is common for people/cheaters to label their illicit lover's phone numbers with fake innocent sounding name of a friend. If the phone is smashed, you would never be able to find out.


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## Jayson_lesly18484 (Apr 28, 2020)

Wolfman1968 said:


> Hmm..I have a question. How do you know for sure who the recipients of the photos were? Did you see the actual phone numbers (not the names of the recipients, the actual numbers) and verify that the numbers really belonged to those people? Because it is common for people/cheaters to label their illicit lover's phone numbers with fake innocent sounding name of a friend. If the phone is smashed, you would never be able to find out.


I know it was them because the numbers are legit since I got home she won’t leave me alone constantly hugging me or talking to me, I’m in the bathroom to type this, she also has a bunch of alcohol in her system she is slurring he words and she got naked immediately when I walked in and said “ listen up, your gonna have your way with me and I’m gonna make you feel better, your gonna love me and your gonna be happy with me” she is almost passed out drunk right now she’s at the I don’t care do what I want faze


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> I know it was them because the numbers are legit since I got home she won’t leave me alone constantly hugging me or talking to me, I’m in the bathroom to type this, she also has a bunch of alcohol in her system she is slurring he words and she got naked immediately when I walked in and said “ listen up, your gonna have your way with me and I’m gonna make you feel better, your gonna love me and your gonna be happy with me” she is almost passed out drunk right now she’s at the I don’t care do what I want faze


She is love bombing you to try and make you get past this WITHOUT resolving anything. 
" know it was them because the numbers are legit since I got home she won’t leave me alone constantly hugging me or talking to me,"
What does one thing have to do with another? The numbers are legit have NOTHING to do with the fact that she is trying to love bomb you. You need to find out WHO she REALLY sent this stuff to. If you rug sweep this, you WILL regret it in the future.


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## blahfridge (Dec 6, 2014)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> I know it was them because the numbers are legit since I got home she won’t leave me alone constantly hugging me or talking to me, I’m in the bathroom to type this, she also has a bunch of alcohol in her system she is slurring he words and she got naked immediately when I walked in and said “ listen up, your gonna have your way with me and I’m gonna make you feel better, your gonna love me and your gonna be happy with me” she is almost passed out drunk right now she’s at the I don’t care do what I want faze


She’s pregnant and getting drunk? That is very concerning. She doesn’t sound like a very responsible person to herself, to you, or to her unborn child. You need to be the leader here and tell her to calm down and take care of herself. She’s more concerned with not losing what she’s got then with you or her child. Your wife needs therapy before she becomes a mother.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> I know it was them because the numbers are legit since I got home she won’t leave me alone constantly hugging me or talking to me, I’m in the bathroom to type this, she also has a bunch of alcohol in her system she is slurring he words and she got naked immediately when I walked in and said “ listen up, your gonna have your way with me and I’m gonna make you feel better, your gonna love me and your gonna be happy with me” she is almost passed out drunk right now she’s at the I don’t care do what I want faze


Have you talked to anyone, like a friend or family member about all this? Do you have a support system in your life?

How far along is your wife in her pregnancy?

She is pregnant and drunk. Do you know that alcohol damages fetuses? It causes Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. (FAS). Here's link for you to read out it. Basics about FASDs

I know you are upset but there are things you need to do right now. This is about your child that she is carrying. Get all of the alcohol out of the house.

Are her parents alcoholics? I hope the understand the danger of drinking while pregnant. Can you call them for help and tell them that you need their help because she is endangering the child?

Are you sober right now? Is she the only one drinking?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You’re young. Get out now. The potential for her behavior to resurface is high.
I suspect you only know the tip of this iceberg.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Yes, she is love bombing you to steer your mind away from her wayward ways.
Yes, she is panicking, not wanting to be left alone, especially while vulnerable, while pregnant.

Keep in mind, had you not caught her, she would still be that dangerously wavering and wandering, wayward wife.

And, as her belly grows, more and more of her would have been visibly shared.

Her belly progress would be proudly displayed, and would be the talk, the show-and-tell of the town.

The way she treats you now, after the fact of her getting caught, shows how well she knew,,,,,how un-well wrong, she acted.

It is my learned opinion that you are her bread winner, the other men her fun winners.

She was happy living two lives at your expense.
You got the bills, the other men, the thrills.

Sorry.....

She needs to go after the baby is born.
Unless, she has a mother or a sister to take care of her during her pregnancy.

Yes.


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

Jayson, old bean, she's having an A. And you are putting up with a load of crap.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

No matter what, do not sign anything acknowledging the child is yours without a paternity test. And this should go without saying but I don't think it can in this case, *DON'T TAKE HER WORD FOR IT! SEE THE TEST RESULTS FOR YOURSELF!*

Both of you also need STD tests, and again, you need to see her test results with your own eyes, don't take her word for it.


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## tennman (Apr 29, 2020)

Trust has to be re-established. She's going to have to eat some humble pie for a while if she wants to save the marriage.


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## Robert22205 (Jun 6, 2018)

How long have you guys been married? I'm guessing you're basically still in the honey moon stage therefore any inappropriate behavior is 1,000 times worse. Unfortunately, your wife wants to act single but also be married.

As long as she blames her inappropriate behavior on 'a lack of attention' (i.e., blame it on you) then she's high risk to repeat again in the future. Why? because no spouse can provide the 24/7 sexy naughty high she gets from the OM. And sexting is a slippery slope towards meeting face to face and sex.

Her expectations from marriage and from a husband are not appropriate. 

You both should read: 'Not Just Friends' by Dr Shirley Glass. It's a research based book (based on couples that experienced infidelity) that identifies certain common behaviors that put 'good' people at risk for infidelity. Humans are programmed to bond and breed, this book provides a road map for protecting your marriage.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

So let me see if I've got this straight: She's sending nudies to other men and getting drunk while pregnant. I don't see any chance of this ending well.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> I know it was them because the numbers are legit since I got home she won’t leave me alone constantly hugging me or talking to me, I’m in the bathroom to type this, she also has a bunch of alcohol in her system she is slurring he words and she got naked immediately when I walked in and said “ listen up, your gonna have your way with me and I’m gonna make you feel better, your gonna love me and your gonna be happy with me” she is almost passed out drunk right now she’s at the I don’t care do what I want faze


Almost passed out drunk pregnant with your child and you’re okay with this?

Personally if I had come home to my pregnant wife Drunk, whether or not she was naked and wanting to have sex wouldn’t be the issue.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

So the best friend doesn’t have a great body, so she sends pictures of your naked wife, claiming it’s pictures of her, even though your wife has a big belly and stretch marks?

Help me out here.

Since that was an obvious lie on her part what was her final determination?


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## Buffer (Dec 17, 2019)

I have to agree with most, there is more to this. Get her phone to a data recovery provider and do a full deleted data recovery.
Unfortunately once she pressed send, those photos are not under her control. Anyone can have access to them as well as re post them to what ever web sight they want. Those photos are out there for ever. She is using her body to distract you, she is sex bombing you, to keep you working two jobs.
MC is a waist of money as she has the issues with attention seeking, not you two. MC is later after she has addressed the underlying issues.
You both are young, her actions were deliberate as she knew what she was doing. Those conscious decisions will remain there forever during your marriage.
You can take your time in your decisions relationship wise. Trust nothing, but verify everything! Including your child. If you let her rug sweep this Then in a few months she will need a new mobile phone, as she will be able to contact who ever for the baby, then she will be back at it. She will call you untrusting, controlling and all of her previous actions will be your fault.
One day at a time
Buffer


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Mi amigo, your wife gives Ecuadorian women a bad name.

She's sending nudes to other men.
She's going crazy sexually to make you stay.
She's getting drunk while pregnant.

Not a good way to start a family. 

I'm really worried about your unborn child. Your baby can be born prematurely, have birth defects, have developmental delays, or suffer from fetal alcohol spectrum disorders if your wife drinks alcohol during pregnancy.

You guys are too young and immature to realize how messed up your relationship is.


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## Wolf359 (Jun 10, 2010)

Please send the phone out for memory recovery. YES IT CAN BE DONE.... worth every penny if you can prove fault.


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## MMH (Jul 19, 2018)

Jayson_lesly18484 said:


> I am 18 m my wife is 21, yesterday I was using my wife’s phone, I seen her notifications and one stood out it said “ if you can’t neither can I baby 😜” I immediately clicked and I seen that she had sent nudes to her friends and she even has her cousin as one of them she is from Ecuador, and she is known to be very attractive in the way she dresses she has never done this before, I am shocked, I don’t know what to do I confronted her very aggressively but I controlled myself, she had let her best friend use her phone over the weekend because her friend didn’t have one she couldn’t pay for data so my wife lended it to her, my wife said that her friend has a thing for her cousin and she didn’t have a great body so she sent pics of her body for her, she never showed her face but I know what my wife’s body looks like I’ve seen it plenty of times, I don’t know what to believe was she cheating or was she genuinely helping her friend? I feel like I can’t trust her anymore...we have a baby on the way and she broke down in tears when I told her that I can’t trust her anymore because she hid that from me, she had to know that was there, she also told me that she didn’t cheat it was her friend who did it but she also said that she didn’t know until after so she changed her story twice, last night she tried to make me feel better and did a lot of extra stuff for me like she put on a nice dress and wore heels in the house I usually have to beg her for that , she also went out of her way to cook a big dinner when I got home, I think she is guilty and that’s why she is doing all of this, but I just don’t know what I need to do I love her with all my heart, we are having a child, but she sent nudes to other men and mentally I can’t handle it I feel wrong laying beside her as I type this, I’m crying silently and I feel like I’m not what she wants anymore, I work all day literally from 7 am to 9 pm I have two jobs I’m off on the weekend and we always spend time together, but now I just feel like I’m laying beside someone’s toy I don’t see her as the woman I love I see her as someone I used to know, I won’t even take a shower with her I feel so broken please someone help me and tell me what to do I’m lost I don’t want to lose her but I feel like I’m losing our love and I definitely don’t trust her anymore every time I ask her to talk about it she starts crying or she tells me that it won’t happen again and she gets mad that I bring it up the farthest we got was she told me that she loves me and she has never cheated on me and she swore to God that she didn’t cheat and she also said that she will never let it happen again


Sorry to hear of your situation. Your wife is very liberal & you both are very young. Communication is key & respect. I guess everything hinges on the truth....proceed with caution. Typically, gut feelings don’t lie. However, counseling may help you both. She might have had poor judgement? It’s feasible.... good luck 🍀


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