# What to do with the "I don't know"



## dreambig

Husband left 8 weeks ago. No real warning. He said he had been unhappy. We fought about 1 thing and 1 thing only. We are young with a lot on our plate. I have checked double checked and asked and there is no one else. 

Since he left I have been asking him what he wants to do, ie if he wants to come home and work on us. At first it was I can't and now it is I don't know because I don't know how to be with you after all that has happened and how unhappy he was. 

So my question is, how can I get him back? Does the 180 help? What are some success stories of something like this? 

We have 2 kids and a life we have built. I am not ready to give up on him or our life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash.

I'm pretty sure I already answered you under a different user name.

"I don't know" means he does know which is why he left.

He just doesn't have the guts to tell you and it helps ease his guilt.

The answer is the same as I gave you before file for divorce and make the decision for him.

Sitting around and waiting for him makes you needy and needy isn't attractive.

If you can't do this then go dark.

Stop talking to him, stop having sex with him, stop having anything to do with him. 

He's sitting on the fence because you are allowing him to do so.


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## parker

I second that. "I don't know" is a classic response to avoid the real truth. YOU make the decision.


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## PBear

The obvious question... What is the "one thing" you fought over?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash.

PBear said:


> The obvious question... What is the "one thing" you fought over?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think he works a lot.


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## dreambig

I wish It was that simple. 

But if for nothing else but my own sanity, I am talking to him tonight and telling him that if he isn't willing to work on our marriage, I am done. I want to sell the house and move on. 

Dumb idea? Should I have hope he will come around?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear

Don't make threats you're not willing to follow through on. But if his actions aren't meeting your needs, your idea is right. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash.

If you don't mean it he will know.


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