# Are you still close to your in-laws even though marriage is dead?



## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

I am wondering how many of you are still close to you inlaws??

After 17 years of marriage, I am still super close to my in laws and still do birthdays, holidays and week beach vacations with them. My ex is not close to his mom or siblings after all the horrendous selfish things he has done to everyone - especially his wife and child.

His siblings have stopped calling him or inviting him to events and much rather have myself and daughter attend.

Today was his moms 75th Birthday dinner and we were all there minus my stbxh. HE WAS NOT INVITED BY HIS SIBLINGS. How sad is that?

Siblings said they do not invite him anymore because he talks to know one, is always late, sits in corner and just texts. These siblings were so close for years. We would host football Gator parties, swap kids, rotate dinner parties and vacation together and had a ball with the closeness.

I find it sad that STBXH has strayed so much from his values. He LOVED his family and always had a great time with his 3 brothers and sister and loved that all the cousins were close. Now, no one talks to him and he just has his tramp to talk to who he cheated with.

In-laws have told him they want nothing to do with her. Do not want to meet her and heard about all her criminal records and have no desire to have this person anywhere around their kids.

Karma is a *****!!


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Ugh, no way - but my sitch is way different.

My in-laws are CRAZY and I've never liked them. Never having to see them again is one of the best things about getting un-married. My STBXH is an only child of an only child, and he's not terribly close with his family, so even after spending 10+ yrs with the guy, I'm only barely acquainted with the rest of his family, though they seemed quite nice. (His mother's family really liked me because I could occupy/entertain my trashed STBXFIL at family functions, so he wouldn't ruin the evening for everyone else. So they're losing their babysitter, I guess.)

The one exception is my STBXH's cousin, who's about 20 yrs older than me. She took a real shine to me when I first met her, and friended me on FB as soon as we met. We talk a lot on FB, and when she got word that we were splitting up, she reached out to me to see if I was doing OK. She finally got up the nerve to leave her ass of a husband several years ago, and so she's been super supportive. She and my STBXH aren't very close, due to the age difference and the fact that she's in FL and he's been in New England most of his life, so she can be pretty objective about the whole thing, and so I know that whatever I say to her will never get back to my STBXH. She's a little cooky, but I like her anyway.


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## volley (Aug 24, 2013)

I am still close with my in-laws, my father and sister-in-law are very supportive of me during this time. They do not agree with the way I was treated and it is very hard for them to deal with my STBXH. My husband was having at least an EA and left me and my 1 year old. I did not realize how people felt about how he had been treating me. Funny how no one ever tells you how they feel until after things go to s***. My X told me that his sister was not his sister but that she was mine because my son and I spent time with her and he knows that she is supporting me. She has told me that she will always stand by her brother but that does not mean that she agrees with what he has done. My father-in-law has told me to take my X for all he is worth! My father-in-law has been through similar things, so he knows what I am going through and I know I can call him at any time. It is sad how these people alienate themselves from their families, but it is hard to support someone who makes such poor decisions. I think sometimes it is hard to still be so close to your in-laws but support from anyone is a good thing!


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## Corso (Jul 16, 2013)

I am fresh in separation right now, and I can only assume my in-laws hate me right now. The garbage my wife is making up is just disgusting, and if she is telling them and they buy it, I would hate me too!

So I'm not sure how this will play out, we weren't real close but they seemed to really like me, I like them. I know they have to some what stick up for there daughter, but they heard the whole argument over the phone and know the truth. I don't even know if they know what she is trying to do to me right now.

I can't talk to any of them right now so I have no clue what they think.


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## Juicy (Nov 15, 2011)

It's nice to hear that you managed to stay in contact with your in-laws FrustratedFL.

I was more than happy to keep in contact with my mother in law (my H's father passed away before I met him) and the evening I moved out my H's mother told me to keep in touch. I would say I was close to my mother in law and she was always friendly and welcoming, me and my H lived in her home as we didn't have our own place.

But it's been five months since my H ended things and I have heard nothing from her, I called once to ask about any mail that might have been sent to the house and she told me she would keep it and send it on to me. It was a bit of a kick in the face when she didn't text or call me to say happy birthday. 

It's so strange how once you're no longer 'part of the family' you're well pretty much ignored. Sometimes I think she might feel she is doing me a favour by not keeping in contact and reminding me of my H or she's just too busy getting to know the OW my H is seeing...in a way maybe it is easier this way.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

They're dead. At least we think so. True evil never dies.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Runs like Dog said:


> They're dead. At least we think so. True evil never dies.


:rofl:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My STBXW still is in touch with my mom (and indirectly, my dad). She's gone to visit her parents, and spent the night at my parent's place too. I'm very ok with all that, and I still have the same relationship with my parents as I always had. This is actually pretty close to our "pre-separation" relationship with my parents, as my STBXW and my mom always got along well. I tried to make it clear to my mom especially that it was fine with me if she kept in touch with my STBX, and that's what's happened.

On the other hand, I haven't seen or talked to any of my stbxw's family since I moved out more than two years ago. They haven't tried to contact me, I haven't tried to contact them. I'm ok with that too, although I suspect at some point I'll run into on of them, and then the meeting will be hugely awkward. Oh well...

C


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