# Wanna get rid of my MIL (in a good way)



## margi (Aug 27, 2013)

She's so manipulative. Has a great power on my husband, and she lives with us since april. 
My mother in law is quite young. She's in her 40's. So they get along with my husband very well. They're like sister and brother. 
My husband not so secretly wants her continue to live with us. When she left her second husband (not my FIL) she came to live with us for a while, until she finds a place for her own. She has very low income, and very incapable of living by her own. She's not retarded or something but i think she's too much dependant. She relies on her son no matter what. She's so certain of him. She even laughes at him if he says, i'm not gonna even call you. 
I love my husband and i don't wanna give up on us yet. But he lost his job (because of MIL kinda) and badmouthed me and my parents recently on a trip to my parents city. And i'm really fed up with living under MIL's shadow. Funny thing is, this time i feel like i'm brainwashed. It's because last year she stayed with us for almost 4 months too. At that time we had problems with her but i wasn't caring much. I was just being myself. This time, i thought i must be different so beared whatever she says. But every compromise i 've given, she wanted more. And if you ask her still i'm a very bad person, who she'll never forgive...
Now i decided to give away the useless effort of being someone who she wants as a daughter in law (for ex. who cleans the house, cooks, not spending much time online)... Her wishes might be harmless but i've forgotten who i was before i married my husband. I have high hopes. I don't wanna be a maid. I already work in my job. My husband was aware of my qualities, and he knew that i wasn't cleaning lady. But when she's around i know she effects him. That's something i want to change.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

You said he lost his job. Has he found a new one? Does MIL work or does her only "income" come from alimony? Are you supporting the entire house? 
Tell your husband that you married HIM and did not commit to being the third wheel in your own home. It's ultimatum time, you or his mother. She's never going to find a place on her own because she's happy where she's at. After the conversation with your husband, sit down with MIL and tell her that you are happy to help her locate an apt within her own budget and even help her locate a job. DO give it a timeline! Obviously this cannot happen overnight since it has now gone on so long, but do not give it too long. Say 6 wks to find a job and save a bit for the move?


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