# A question for women about husband self gratification



## dermking (5 mo ago)

We've been married 32 years and we've had great times, the usual marriage issues and majors issues. In another thread, i talk about some intimate issues we have been having for about 4-5 years.

With the recent issues, i am taking care of myself more often. She has walked in on me a few times. She never flinched. In the past i kept it private. With her obviously knowing, i asked her if i could masterbate while she was in the room with me. She said she didnt care. So, two times i start and finished while she is in the room. It is easier and less demeaning than doing it in the bathroom or walk in closet. Also, it is a bit of a turn on for me. Nothing crazy, i am not using toys or lotion in front of her. Just hand stroking.

She occasionally looks over. I can't tell if she really is ok with it or not. She has said nothing, even when i asked the day after the last time, no real reply.

We are having sex occasionally, maybe a couple or 3 times a month. Sometimes more/less. So, i think our sex life is healthyish.

From a woman's point of view, how would you feel about this?

Edited.


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Anastasia6 said:


> LOL he got lucky a woman responded and not the 50 men who always respond first to the I want a woman's opinion........
> 
> It seems maybe like mums the word. Signs off....


What a helpful comment on OP’s thread.


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> What a helpful comment on OP’s thread.


Yep let's him know if he's going to run off the only women posting on his thread he probably won't get many women posting....

Like your a man. How was your post helpful. You seem to just like to follow me around. You need not worry. I would be happy to actually try to figure out what is happening in his marriage and give him advice. I really don't see how what random women on the internet think about masturbation is going to help him with his wife. He's made it plain he doesn't want to discuss anything about the relationship. So how exactly do you expect me to help?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

dermking said:


> We've been married 32 years and we've had great times, the usual marriage issues and majors issues. In another thread, i talk about some intimate issues we have been having for about 4-5 years.
> 
> With the recent issues, i am taking care of myself more often. She has walked in on me a few times. She never flinched. In the past i kept it private. With her obviously knowing, i asked her if i could masterbate while she was in the room with me. She said she didnt care. So, two times i start and finished while she is in the room. It is easier and less demeaning than doing it in the bathroom or walk in closet. Also, it is a bit of a turn on for me. Nothing crazy, i am not using toys or lotion in front of her. Just hand stroking.
> 
> ...


I don't care, although unless I'm just going back to sleep it would be a little awkward and I think I would just give them their privacy.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> Yep let's him know if he's going to run off the only women posting on his thread he probably won't get many women posting....
> 
> Like your a man. How was your post helpful. You seem to just like to follow me around. You need not worry. I would be happy to actually try to figure out what is happening in his marriage and give him advice. I really don't see how what random women on the internet think about masturbation is going to help him with his wife. He's made it plain he doesn't want to discuss anything about the relationship. So how exactly do you expect me to help?


Maybe he just likes to talk about it like the same way he likes to just do it in front of his wife.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds like this is becoming common. It's one thing to be accidently "caught" once or twice. But this does not sound accidental at all. Instead it sounds like you enjoy having her catch you in the act. That would bother me.


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I’ll bite, and I’m a guy. What you’re doing is rather creepy and probably putting your wife of over three decades in an uncomfortable position. Just do it the bathroom. It’s not any harder or more demanding to go into another room. You might want to also cut back on the porn. There’s no real life pleasure in a woman seeing your stroke yourself unless they are doing it with you.

By the way, you masturbate in a closet ????


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> It sounds like this is becoming common. It's one thing to be accidently "caught" once or twice. But this does not sound accidental at all. Instead it sounds like you enjoy having her catch you in the act. That would bother me.


I do think the intent matters. It's one thing
if you wake up and they're doing it and you just roll back over and go back to sleep.. it's another if they're laying a trap for you hoping for some sort of reaction. That would be awkward in the extreme.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

This conversation took me back in time and reminded me of the song "Montana" by Frank Zappa.


----------



## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

My wife couldn't care less if I touched myself - because she's not an abusive POS lol.


----------



## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

DamianDamian said:


> My wife couldn't care less if I touched myself - because she's not an abusive POS lol.


Guess I need to read the other threads?!

This would not bother me. Now, the porn part would get old real fast. I know there’s a lot who don’t care but with my past marriage, it’s bothersome to me.

The masterbation part however.. though I personally don’t find any fun in that with myself, I have zero qualms about watching the guy I love do it. I must have issues lol. It probably wouldn’t end up being left to his own devices though if I walked in 😆


----------



## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Instead of worrying about getting your wife’s permission to jerk off in front of her because she won’t do it for you, why don’t you focus on why she doesn’t desire you sexually and why she is unwilling to meet your sexual needs.

Wanting to jerk off next to her because she’s unwilling to do it for you is pretty pathetic dude. I’m not saying that to be harsh, I’m saying it as a reality check.


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I now know what a closet masturbater means.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

RebuildingMe said:


> I now know what a closet masturbater means.


What does it mean?


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

EleGirl said:


> What does it mean?


I used to think someone who hides it, but it also means someone that physically goes into a closet to masturbate.


----------



## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

DudeInProgress said:


> Instead of worrying about getting your wife’s permission to jerk off in front of her because she won’t do it for you, why don’t you focus on why she doesn’t desire you sexually and why she is unwilling to meet your sexual needs.
> 
> Wanting to jerk off next to her because she’s unwilling to do it for you is pretty pathetic dude. I’m not saying that to be harsh, I’m saying it as a reality check.


I agree, I mean after reading your post again, maybe I didn’t and still am not catching on exactly but.. if you know there are issues and it sounds like this may bother her? At the least it doesn’t do anything for her. Wouldn’t you want to get to the root of the issue?


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


dermking said:



From a woman's point of view, how would you feel about this?
 
Click to expand...

*I'd rather watch Master Chef if I'm being honest.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Bulfrog1987 said:



I agree, I mean after reading your post again, maybe I didn’t and still am not catching on exactly but.. if you know there are issues and it sounds like this may bother her? At the least it doesn’t do anything for her. Wouldn’t you want to get to the root of the issue?

Click to expand...

*LOL...they've been married for 32 years. I'm sure there aren't many surprises at that point. I'd also bet she's gone through menopause (or is in Peri-menopause) and has lost most of her libido. This is a story older than time itself.


----------



## Kitcat30 (4 mo ago)

I mean I'd personally like it. If my husband did this in front of me I'd have to join in. But that's just me. If she's not in the mood sexually I guess she won't show much enthusiasm, she probably doesn't think nothing if it. I mean what your doing is harmless really. Maybe your the one feeling a little self conciousness with the whole thing?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> This conversation took me back in time and reminded me of the song "Montana" by Frank Zappa.


He love's those Zircon encrusted tweezers, lol.


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

dermking said:


> From a woman's point of view, how would you feel about this?


Eh, I'd find it bit annoying, honestly. Masturbation as part of foreplay or when there is an injury/illness and sex isn't possible is one thing. Masturbating with me in the room when I clearly have no desire for sex and am not even cuddling and kissing him while he does it would just mildly annoy me. 



dermking said:


> We are having sex occasionally, maybe a couple or 3 times a month. Sometimes more/less. So, i think our sex life is healthyish.


Eh, after 22 years we're at 4+ a week. A couple or 3x a month would not be enough for me, but then it's been a mere couple decades, lol. You're at 32 years, yes? Maybe by the time another decade has passed my needs/wants would change.


----------

