# Am I CRazy or Normal



## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

So it's been 2mths since I found out about the EA for the most part things are getting better but last night we had a big fight and am not sure if I overracted or not but he was on the computer playing an on line game and wanted to invite his best friends girlfriend and the ow best friend to play I told him I didn't like her and he just rolled his eyes then I got up and started knocking around some can food that I has planning on cooking so he got the point I didn't want him playing with her so he said he would get off the computer Then he started fussing that I didn't want him being friends with anyone I tried to explain that the reason I didn't wwant him playing with her is because she is good friends with the other women and she didn't like me and wants me out of the pic why would he want to be friends with someone that doesn't like his wife. Am I wrong? I am trying to get over this whole EA but sometimes things make me thing about it more and this upset me.


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## KSimpson99 (Jul 13, 2009)

You aren't crazy. Anytime my wife pulls the "I can't talk to ANYONE" line, I know something is going on.

Might be tempting next time to not make a fuss - but keep an eye on him. Ask him if you can play or watch, or sit on his lap.


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

I was sitting right beside him he wasn't hiding anything and told me he was going to invite her but it just set me off.


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## KSimpson99 (Jul 13, 2009)

Other people here can probably give you much better advice than I can.

It sounds like you may have jumped the gun a bit, but it sounds like you have reasons to be jittery.

You can't keep him from doing what he's going to do.

You need to trust your gut - if it feels wrong, keep an eye on it. BUT keep your cool and see how it plays out - especially if you don't know for sure that something is wrong. You run the risk of pushing him away.

Its also kind of like giving them enough room/rope to hang themselves. If he's going to cheat, you can't stop him. But eventually the truth will come out.

Hope you apologized to the cans that you banged around!!!


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

While I GET your reason for getting upset, going into the kitchen and banging things around is counterproductive hon. It's better to take a few deep breaths and have a talk, even if you don't really want to, than it is to act out in that nature. 
I do not think it is unreasonable to be upset with him for being friends with her friend,as your husband, he is supposed to put your feelings ahead of his friends, and you are supposed to do the same. You can monitor him as much or as little as you want, but eventually you have to get to the point where you are willing to let him make his own decisions and trust that he has your interests at heart too. It does not sound like you are at that place yet. Keep talking, and do less banging things around. Hostility breeds hostility.


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

I may have jumped the guy but come on he should know that talking to the ow best friend would upset me. I am tried of this we r just friends crap that is what he said about the other women in the begaining too and I let it go and it became a EA of 2mths that I know of. I hate that he has made me this jumpy


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

IMO he should smarter than that. Just coming off of his EA and knowing how you felt should have been enough for him to think a little more on his actions. Why would he want to even come close to opening that can of worms again? I think you were right on being upset. Maybe you jumped on him to harshly and instead maybe have approached him a little more sensible and calm. If I were in your shoes, you bet I would say NO WAY! What's the problem, can't he find any male friends to play the game with. C'mon be for real, if I were in his shoes and really cared for my wife and what we had just been through, I definitely would not go there with the game.


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## Calypso (May 11, 2009)

He has to understand at this point in your relationship any contact with OW or mutal friends is out. I'm sorry only women I'm comfortable with right now are a select few that we both know. So no you are not crazy it's a normal part of your emotions at this stage. He needs to learn to deal with it and understand that it might take you a year or years before you feel comfortable to allow that freedom again. So he needs to be a open book and ask you what you feel is ok with at this point. I would have been upset too and I'm at the year point now.


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

I know that I shouldn't have showed my temper but am glad that am not so crazy after all. He just keeps telling me am crazy now when I show my temper sometimes it happens before i even think about it I don't think he really knows how much this hurt me he acts like it's no big deal I should be over it now.


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