# Please Someone Save Me.



## adedar11 (Mar 27, 2012)

I have a serious Relationship. I love the girl so much but every time the girl keep lieing to me over and over again.

I have told her not to lie to me that it make me lose my trust on her, she claim to change and still lie to me 3 days back. Now i have decided to do without her but she keep on calling me and cries that she has changed and gone for deliverance. I dont know if she has really change as i really do love her and want to marry her

I don't know if she is my real heart desire or the right person, she claims she loves me but if she loves me why not her just stop lieing to me for one and be open to me. Please i really need help and advice on this on what to do?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Do not marry her. Do not continue this relationship.

You said it has happened several times and the behavior continues. 

At this point, you are enabling her. 

Since you've already told her you have decided to do without her--keep it that way.

Yes it sucks and it hurts but you will be happier w/o a pathological liar in your life.

Stop taking her calls and move on. Tell her "Don't call me anymore. I gave you plenty of chances and you broke your promise. It's done."


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## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Do not marry her. Do not continue this relationship.
> 
> You said it has happened several times and the behavior continues.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree:

If she lies to you all the time then why do you love her and why would you want to marry a proven liar? All you do with marriage is secure someone into your life as a financial partner... in this case for you it would be a financial risk.

Once you're married you've secured this liar into your financial DNA... and when you're finally tired of her continuous lies then getting her out of your life will cost you half of your assets.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Someone who has learned to get through life by lying isn't going to change overnight. Or maybe ever. It's the way they handle life - they use lies to get out of dealing with issues, to make themselves look better, to present an image of themselves they want others to believe in, to avoid talking about things, and to mislead and manipulate other people into doing or thinking what they want them to do or think.

You can bet she's lying to you when she calls you. Until she gets some therapy and figures out why she learned that lying was the best way to deal with people and with life, she will not ever change. Even with therapy, lying is her coping mechanism and she will need to learn new coping mechanisms: facing up to her problems, admitting who she really is, and accepting others' reactions to her when she is honest. Liars don't want to be real; they prefer hiding behind the lies.

I think you are better off by letting go and moving on. She's got years of growing up to do before she will be real and before anyone will see who she really is as a person. The person you are in love with is a sham - an image she has presented, not the real person she is.


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## RoseRed (Aug 27, 2011)

adedar11 said:


> I have a serious Relationship. I love the girl so much but every time the girl keep lieing to me over and over again.
> 
> I have told her not to lie to me that it make me lose my trust on her, she claim to change and still lie to me 3 days back. Now i have decided to do without her but she keep on calling me and cries that she has changed and gone for deliverance. I dont know if she has really change as i really do love her and want to marry her
> 
> I don't know if she is my real heart desire or the right person, she claims she loves me but if she loves me why not her just stop lieing to me for one and be open to me. Please i really need help and advice on this on what to do?


I agree with JB... time to let this relationship go and look foreward.
If 'love' is defined by her that includes lieing, is that something that you want? 

I believe each of us each have our own definition of love, however when it comes with such destructive forces such as pathological lieing, disrespect, disregard, mistrust, is a toxic love... not a mutual fulfilling love. This type of toxic love is selfish love, where the only person that is taken to heart is themselves. You are not actually in her heart or mind to meaningful love. It takes alot of courage to self-assess ones definition of love and only by that can you really understand yourself. Ask yourself, and be brutually honest with yourself, why do you love her? What is it about her, her character, her values, her morals, her spirit, her soul do you love? Or could it perhaps be more superficial? Only you can determine this.

Best wishes


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Find your naynays and take a stand.

Be a man!


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

I would say move on !!! the are other decent women out there who would not lie to you or you wouldnot have to be worried about them lying to you


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## adedar11 (Mar 27, 2012)

I feel and think i cant do without her, she lies to me even when i know the truth until i found proves before she starts crying that if she tells me the truth i will break up with her.

She has lie many times, but i feel that she will change with time, she is beautiful though but what i look forward is my future, a woman who will love and care for me and be faithful to the family.

She lie to me and even make sex with me, eat with me bath with me and can even keep the lies for months before i do find out.


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## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

No trust, no relationship.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I know you love her but you need to think practically--she cannot give you what you want. She isn't who you want her to be. You arein love with an IDEA of her, not who her actions say she is.


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## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

adedar11 said:


> but what i look forward is my future, a woman who will love and care for me and be faithful to the family.


Read this. Then re-read this. And re-read it again. Memorize it until it is burned into your brain. Because this is the answer to your very own questions. 

Your current woman is NOT whom you are looking for. She may be beautiful on the outside but her tendencies are selfish and serve only her own needs. She may be good dating material, but she's no marriage material.


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## adedar11 (Mar 27, 2012)

Wow. God bless you all, i really do appreciate all the advice from my heart. Am a little bit relief. Thanks once More may God bless you all.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

adedar11 said:


> I have a serious Relationship. I love the girl so much but every time the girl keep lieing to me over and over again.
> 
> I have told her not to lie to me that it make me lose my trust on her, she claim to change and still lie to me 3 days back. Now i have decided to do without her but she keep on calling me and cries that she has changed and gone for deliverance. I dont know if she has really change as i really do love her and want to marry her
> 
> I don't know if she is my real heart desire or the right person, she claims she loves me but if she loves me why not her just stop lieing to me for one and be open to me. Please i really need help and advice on this on what to do?


I have some experience with liars. It is a part of who they are. Some liars will come to believe their lies are indeed truth and if you call them on it, they will explode.

Please don't marry someone you do not trust. I know you love her, but living a life wondering if she is telling the truth is really no life at all. You deserve happiness and trust.


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## adedar11 (Mar 27, 2012)

I really want to say thank you to all of you that contributed and advice me yesterday regarding my present lost love situation and I pray God will bless and reward you abundantly.

Please I will love to know some advice on how to get a good woman or how to know a good woman when dating, because it really hurts me and go this far in a relationship just because of love and later break up. Is it because of the environment, work, and my kind of life that makes me need bad women? Or because I care and spend more am really confused

Am tired of dating over and over again just because I do meet the wrong woman, I am always open, caring, understanding, faithful, soft and supportive but I don’t know why the women I meet are something far different from me. My Zodiac sign is Pieces is it because of that? 

I think all the night on how and when will I see a good woman to really call my own, please I need advice on how to note a good woman or a woman that pretend. Please at least save a life. Money is not everything in saving someone life.

Thank you all for everything I will always pray for you for the support and advice.

Thank You


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## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

Adedar, you sound like you are too much of a nice guy. Women will take advantage of you because you are too easy on them. I have 2 books I suggest you read...

Book #1: Married Man Sex Life

Though you're not married yet the information in this book is still relevant because it teaches you all about balancing beta and alpha traits within yourself. Right now you sound like you have too much beta and not enough alpha in your routine. Read this book multiple times and learn it - You will become more assertive and attractive and respected by women in general. It will teach to you how to be a real man, which is what a woman is looking for.

Book #2: The 5 Love Languages

When you finally meet another woman that seems like she might be the right fit for you, learn her love language and also have her read this book so she can learn your love language. When you learn each other's love languages you learn how to truly speak to each other by meeting the needs of the other person. This is the way to achieve a truly balanced and loving relationship with each other.

Good luck


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## adedar11 (Mar 27, 2012)

Thanks Bottle Up.


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