# Husband is uncomfortable talking about sex



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My husband asked me whats been on my mind cause Ive been really really queit for a week with him. I told him SEX is on my mind. It opened up dialogue a little bit.

Basically he does not want to talk dirty at all...He says hes not a dirty man and I can't change him....

I told him I want him to say things like "oh that feels good" and simple things like that and he said no he doesn't do it.

So now after about 5 years of keeping all my dirty sexual thoughts inside I let them out. Now hes sayung why didn't I say this all in counseling when we went. Well I know the counselor knew we were not having sex, but he never wanted to talk about it ever


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I told him I got a new book...50 shades of gray.....

I didn't tell him I got 2 other good books about sex.....and I also got crotchless panties....He used to be the one to tell me what he wants and educate me and now hes not like that......I'm hoping it will bring him out.


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Oh and about the dirty talk.....his reaction was bringing up my affair partner and that I ddi that with him......I told him I've had these thoughts in my head for 5 years. Also told him I was thinking of him during the sexual part of the affair and I was..I didn't go into details cause he didn't ask about those.


----------



## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

Tell him discussing your ideas isnt dirty. Its part of a healthy marriage. Encouragement and feedback when someone else is trying to pleasure you is like telling someone they cooked a nice meal or the decorations on a cake or bathroom wall looks good. Encouragement makes others feel good and encourages that which is good. It also allows the other person to get to know what they like better which most lovers would want to know.

His dismissing your enthusiasm and interest is ignorant. Answer his question. Because he didnt want to talk about it


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I too get quiet when there is no sex for 1+ weeks at a time and my wife also asks me, what's wrong?

I can easily talk dirty...heh, but my wife doesn't either.

If your hubby is a LD guy, I feel for you.

crotchless panties, lucky guy!!! :smthumbup:

So you had an affair 5+ year ago. It hasn't happened since, proof to him you're faithful and a good wife. Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect.

Try waiting for him in the shower before he wakes up as a surprise.


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

CuddleBug said:


> I too get quiet when there is no sex for 1+ weeks at a time and my wife also asks me, what's wrong?
> 
> I can easily talk dirty...heh, but my wife doesn't either.
> 
> ...


My H is working out of state 800miles away, with no coming home in site. I'm living with his parents. I got queit because I'm tired of the emotional roller coaster. Nothing I say makes him happy and everything seems to piss him off. There is no sexual flirting of any kind while hes away. He says he doesn't do that. 

I had an EA in Aug 2011 following years of not much sex and no attention from him. It went sexual after he moved out. I broke it off as soon as he said he didn't want a divorce, but I didn't know he had a girlfriend that he kept seeing me and her at the same time.

I'm real good at talking dirty now that I let myself say it, but he views it as bad. I'm pretty sure he views sex as bad too. 

I'm not confident at all this marriage is going to work, so I am preparing my self for the end if it comes to that. I can't live unhappy for the rest of my life.

The cause of my affair was because of his inability to talk about sex and viewing it as bad....so if he continues......it just leaves open for it to happen again.


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Long distance relationship, that's a toughie.

I can totally understand and sympathize why you had the affair. You weren't getting what you need, emotionally and physically. He set the stage so to speak.

I hope it works out for you both but if it doesn't, I'm sure you'll find a guy that does give you love and what you need and probably lives with you and works in the city.


----------



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

CuddleBug said:


> Long distance relationship, that's a toughie.
> 
> I can totally understand and sympathize why you had the affair. You weren't getting what you need, emotionally and physically. He set the stage so to speak.
> 
> I hope it works out for you both but if it doesn't, I'm sure you'll find a guy that does give you love and what you need and probably lives with you and works in the city.


This is the 3rd time he has traveled long term and hes unwiling to text, send and receive pics, dirty talk...etc etc... then when he comes home he would rahter have sex once amonth.....before I had my affair he was home for a while, but we only had sex once every 3 months and it was done in a blink of an eye, then he roll over and go to sleep.

I tried to have a talk with him today, but he said 10:30am was not a good time to talk about it. 

I'm leaning towards divorce when time is right. I live with his parents though...ugh


----------

