# Here's a question about women...



## Danny Boy (May 25, 2011)

Maybe it should be posted in the women's forum but hey, I might as well ask the dudes first.

If women don't want nice guys how come they are always saying, "Why can't I find a nice guy like that?", or "How come the nice ones are always taken or gay?" ? :scratchhead: 

I think it's this: They just want a guy they can get over on.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

What happened to make you ask this. More specifics will help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

I think there is a difference between a truly nice guy and a doormat guy. My husband is a nice guy - he treats me extremely well and does really nice things for me, but I don't run over him - he wouldn't let me if I tried and I don't want to.


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## Danny Boy (May 25, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> What happened to make you ask this. More specifics will help.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nothing really. Just saw the thread about women not wanting nice guys being the end of the universe...


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Well women do want good, kind, nice, compassionate men, who also balance that well with being a man, standing up for themselves and not allowing anyone (their mothers, wives, neighbours, friends etc) to walk all over them. I also would not use the term nice guy, I would use the term doormat. Its not good for men or women to be doormats.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

To find out what a woman wants, don't put much stock in words, pay attention to her actions. 

Google-Why can't women find nice guys?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Probably depends largely on when they're saying it. Most of the time I've heard women say such things, they've just ended a bad relationship in which they felt they were treated horribly. At that moment, the security and stability of a "nice" guy sounds pretty good. They often disregard that they were with the "bad boy" in the first place because that's what they are sexually attracted to. If they do latch on to a "nice guy", odds are they aren't really sexually attracted to him. Security and stability make for safe surroundings just like prison walls do. They can also be boring. Guys often get into the same sort of irony. On one hand, they are often attracted to a highly sexual, exciting hottie, but once married, try to turn her into June Cleaver by day, private "hottie" by night. No wonder we end up frustrated.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Danny my husband is family oriented, predictable, loving, does not booze it up, take drugs, abuse me. In other words a good man. One thing though he is no push over. He does not take any sh)it from me, I can get bad every now and then and he is very much his own man. I can't control him and I sometimes think that if I push him too far he would walk out the door even though he loves his family. He may not, but I am not sure. 

There is a difference between a good man and a nice doormat guy; one is self confident, respects women, respects himself and is not afraid to lose the love of his life if things go south and he has done all he can. The doormat guy will do anything to stay in the relationship including take abuse. 

My advice be a good man not a nice guy. Never let a woman walk all over you even if you think you will lose her. Women lose sexual attraction to men who are so insecure that they allow the woman to behave badly towards them. You have to decide how you expect to be treated and respected and hold to that no matter what. Also give the same respect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

:iagree:


Syrum said:


> Well women do want good, kind, nice, compassionate men, who also balance that well with being a man, standing up for themselves and not allowing anyone (their mothers, wives, neighbours, friends etc) to walk all over them. I also would not use the term nice guy, I would use the term doormat. Its not good for men or women to be doormats.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> Danny my husband is family oriented, predictable, loving, does not booze it up, take drugs, abuse me. In other words a good man. One thing though he is no push over. He does not take any sh)it from me, I can get bad every now and then and he is very much his own man. I can't control him and I sometimes think that if I push him too far he would walk out the door even though he loves his family. He may not, but I am not sure.
> 
> There is a difference between a good man and a nice doormat guy; one is self confident, respects women, respects himself and is not afraid to lose the love of his life if things go south and he has done all he can. The doormat guy will do anything to stay in the relationship including take abuse.
> 
> ...


Bravo to your husband! 

And I agree with your advice!


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Many women have no clue what they want.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

TNgirl232 said:


> I think there is a difference between a truly nice guy and a doormat guy. My husband is a nice guy - he treats me extremely well and does really nice things for me, but I don't run over him - he wouldn't let me if I tried and I don't want to.


We know we can't, don't we! 

They are their own men, they know what ground they stand! 

But they are very loving, kind, affectionate, and considerate to us!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

BigToe said:


> Many women have no clue what they want.


That might be true! 

Because they don't know about themselves!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Women not liking "nice guys" is a myth.

Women don't like doormats. 

Two totally different things.

Women want men who treat them well but also respect themselves.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Yep...doormat bad no matter what the gender but authentically nice is good. Nice is even sexy when the man has confidence, respect for himself and his values and passion about life. He has a lot to share and is worth listening to.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I think many women just want a project. If they have X, they must transform it into Z. If they had a man possessing each and every ideal quality they've ever dreamed of, they'd immediately get to work changing him. For them, the man is not the attraction, the drama of directing is.


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