# i love you but i'm not in love with you....



## whatislove (Oct 24, 2010)

my husband told me that he loves but he is not in love with me. what does that mean? :scratchhead: he can't even answer that question. he told me that a year ago. we went to counsling & have a very good commucation, considering. he says i am the prefect wife, mother & his best friend. when he fantises he thinks of me. i told him i could handle the truth no matter how much it may hurt. he says this is the truth. this is about him & that he can't think straight. well i asked him 2 months ago if his feelings for me have changed. he said they didn't so i told him to make a choice stay or go but i can't take this anymore. i deserve to be loved. so he left. now he is living at hs mothers but over daily to help with the kids. he is cooking, cleaning & helping out with homework, & home repairs! i told him this is out of guilt. he agreed but he also feels better about himself by helping out. he is doing more now then when he was living here! i know he comes overto also spend time with me too & i should be happy about this but it is just confusing. at this time i don't know how i feel about him. we both agree that it is too soon to get back together,he needs to figure out what it is he wants & i shouldn't have to sit around waiting for him. but how do i move on when he increts himself into my life? today he even flirted with me! i held my ground though. so some one tell me what does it mean to love someone but not be "in love"? to me his actions & the way he looks at me says he is in love with me but i will not go back to the way things were. things will have to change. i need to know what he means & i feel i need to see what else is out there for me.


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## TheLonelyOne (Oct 25, 2010)

It sounds to me that you are both in search of "something better" almost like you both do not want to part incase this is the best there is out there for you both. your asking how to move on, but say you both think its to soon, and that thing could no be as they were, and you need to see what else is out there for you. pretty confusing on both parties. (He says you a perfect wife, but he is cooking and cleaning, he is the perfect wife....lol, just a little haha for ya). I think it makes things more difficult to move on with him still activly persuing you and it makes confusing to what you really want. to move on and see what is out there. You do deserve to feel loved. I hope i have helped, I wish you the best of luck, stay strong, there is love out there, iam still searching.


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## cayest (Feb 4, 2010)

I would not read more into what is going on beyond his words to you. He told you he is not in love with you. Certainly, breaking up your marriage is hard and confusing for everyone. So, feelings of guilt and fear cloud everything. He is probably afraid to commit to the separation ... in the beginning. But eventually he will find his footing and if you have not taken this time to get emotionally strong, you will be doubly devastated when he finally cuts the ties. Use this time to work on yourself and building a life apart from him. it's hard when he comes around all the time, but push through that, knowing that you are protecting yourself and your kids. If you are meant to reconcile, you can always still do that, but for now, if I were you, I would proceed according to the original plan, which is that you two are separating and he is no longer in love. Godspeed!


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