# Deadline arousal



## Qur (May 17, 2014)

My fiance says I'm full of quirky sexual behavior. And, she's right. There's this one quirk I refer to as 'dealine arousal'. I'm easily turned on simply by the fact that there is not much time to 'play'. It could be in the morning before the alarm goes off. It could be before friends are expected over. It could be a lunch break quickie. I'm always aroused by these time constraints. If my fiance is feeling frisky at night, most of the time I can't really get into it. Mentally, I'm more than willing. However, "IT" won't respond. It's truly frustrating for the both of us. Sometimes she'll get upset and say, "Well, don't think you're bothering me in the morning!". She says she takes it as me not finding her attractive or desirable. I assure her that that is not the case at all. I've always been this way. Sometimes I can perform w/o a deadline, but it takes a LOT of mental concentration. Anybody go through anytime similar? Any advice?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Never heard of it before, but you better get a handle on it. Sounds like resentments are creeping in already, and a lifetime of quickies isn't a lot of people's cup of tea. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Qur said:


> My fiance says I'm full of quirky sexual behavior. And, she's right. There's this one quirk I refer to as 'dealine arousal'. I'm easily turned on simply by the fact that there is not much time to 'play'. It could be in the morning before the alarm goes off. It could be before friends are expected over. It could be a lunch break quickie. I'm always aroused by these time constraints. If my fiance is feeling frisky at night, most of the time I can't really get into it. Mentally, I'm more than willing. However, "IT" won't respond. It's truly frustrating for the both of us. Sometimes she'll get upset and say, "Well, don't think you're bothering me in the morning!". She says she takes it as me not finding her attractive or desirable. I assure her that that is not the case at all. I've always been this way. Sometimes I can perform w/o a deadline, but it takes a LOT of mental concentration. Anybody go through anytime similar? Any advice?


This quirky behavior is also known as, you'd prefer to have a quickie. Obviously the focus isn't on getting her off if you are under time constraints. Rush in and rush out. And even if she manages to rush with you, I'd assume it is much more enjoyable for her, slow and deep. 


It's easy to get it up when you can penetrate and immediately chase your own orgasm. The chase of the ejaculation keeps you erect. It's hard to perform at night when there is plenty of time, because your spouse may also want a long enjoyable session, and doesn't want you to quickly cum. This is probably why you aren't really into it.

I don't want to jump the gun and call you a selfish lover, but preferring time constraints over long intimate sessions where you can both really enjoy yourselves, sounds like a problem.

By the way, although most men will not admit it on these forums, a lot of guys have your same "quirk." Trust me.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I have the opposite problem, actually... If I have a time constraint, the odds of me finishing to down appreciably. Clock watching is not my friend. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Qur said:


> My fiance says I'm full of quirky sexual behavior. And, she's right. There's this one quirk I refer to as 'dealine arousal'. I'm easily turned on simply by the fact that there is not much time to 'play'. It could be in the *morning before the alarm goes off.* It could be before *friends are expected over.* It could be a *lunch break quickie.* I'm always aroused by these time constraints. If my fiance is feeling frisky at night, most of the time I can't really get into it. Mentally, I'm more than willing. However, "IT" won't respond. It's truly frustrating for the both of us. Sometimes she'll get upset and say, "Well, don't think you're bothering me in the morning!". She says she takes it as me not finding her attractive or desirable. I assure her that that is not the case at all. I've always been this way. Sometimes I can perform w/o a deadline, but it takes a LOT of mental concentration. Anybody go through anytime similar? Any advice?


Could be time constraints that arouse you, or it could be the risk involved. All the scenarios you described involve some sort of risk of getting caught.

To find out which it is, maybe she could challenge you to get her off before the timer goes off at a time when you both have plenty of time.

Or you could have sex in front of a window at night, when you can see out but people can't see in-or easily see inside...

Which of those scenarios turn you on more?

I can see why she wouldn't be terribly happy with you not being aroused during a time frame when you both have plenty of time and privacy. I think most women would, to be honest. Kinda paints you as a rather self centered lover. 

I suggest you work on that.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Well, create artificial deadlines. If she's frisky and there's time, suggest that she tell you that if you don't get going in the next 5 minutes she'll start without you and you'll have to wait a couple of days. And mean it.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Deadline Arousal sounds like a news magazine show.

Deadline Arousal, with Stone Phillips!


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Coldie said:


> This quirky behavior is also known as, you'd prefer to have a quickie. Obviously the focus isn't on getting her off if you are under time constraints. Rush in and rush out. And even if she manages to rush with you, I'd assume it is much more enjoyable for her, slow and deep.
> 
> 
> It's easy to get it up when you can penetrate and immediately chase your own orgasm. The chase of the ejaculation keeps you erect. It's hard to perform at night when there is plenty of time, because your spouse may also want a long enjoyable session, and doesn't want you to quickly cum. This is probably why you aren't really into it.
> ...


This is what I thought as well when I read the OP.

One tangent though, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting excited at the prospects of getting in, blowing your load and getting out. If sex to you includes an orgasm, its understandable you'd be turned on by the prospects of going from zero to orgasm in five minutes or less. 

That said, if you are getting turned off by the prospect of having to put in work to get her to an orgasm, then that is an issue. She's entitled to be offered the same sex life you get. You two are in a partnership and what is good for one should be good for the other in most cases, including this one.

Hopefully you are giving her what she wants/needs in terms of her quirks as well.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You do make sure that her sexual needs are met on a regular basis too, right? 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

So make the nighttime focus on her...... don't work on your O at all. Just caress, kiss, tease, etc..... till she O's about 17 times. If that gets you going, great! If it doesn't, I bet she won't mind waiting til morning! 

Could include more toys at nighttime too, to take the pressure off of you!

Keep trying different things.... it'll be fun finding out what works!


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

SunnyT said:


> So make the nighttime focus on her...... don't work on your O at all. Just caress, kiss, tease, etc..... till she O's about 17 times. If that gets you going, great! If it doesn't, I bet she won't mind waiting til morning!
> 
> Could include more toys at nighttime too, to take the pressure off of you!
> 
> Keep trying different things.... it'll be fun finding out what works!


17 times  !?!??!?!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

omgitselaine said:


> 17 times  !?!??!?!


Well, 18 is just ridiculous...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> Well, 18 is just ridiculous...
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Dude ........ you wouldn't hear me ummmm complaining  !!


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

I studied the Minute Men in American History class. Apparently they are still around today. 
I hate to tell you this Dawg, but it sounds like your own mentality and attitude is a major constraint in satisfying women. They won't put up with this crap long unless you have a hell of a lot more money than romantic aptitude. Then she'll be spending a lot of time out with the girls, if you know what I mean. 
Here's my advise and you really need to follow it. Follow the message in the below song and pretend Anita Pointer is your fiance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnVOt2LK2Gg


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

omgitselaine said:


> Dude ........ you wouldn't hear me ummmm complaining  !!


Don't you ever get enough? My SO usually taps out at about 8.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

*Re: Re: Deadline arousal*



PBear said:


> Don't you ever get enough? My SO usually taps out at about 8.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nope ..... never enough


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

PBear said:


> Don't you ever get enough? My SO usually taps out at about 8.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Too funny! I was just doing a mental O count.... mmmm hmmmm, at least 2 there, 3 there and then at least 3 more.... (this is where I usually lose count!) So I was thinking 8 minimum!  

But that was the point, H takes the TIME to make this happen, they aren't magic O's! Well..... you know what I mean.

And he says I make him feel like a stud.... Wow.


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## Qur (May 17, 2014)

So my fiance and I looked at my post, along with everyone's reply. We were initally surprise by so many "you're a selfish lover" comments. But, when we thought about it, we saw how I could be perceived as such based on my post. I am not a selfish lover (she agrees wholeheartedly). I'm not an O seeker. I only O about half the time and only after asking her if I can. Most of the time she will say "No", so then I put my game face back on and continue the session. I pick and choose my O's because I'm usually not interested in sex for about 3 days afterwards. I'll provide oral ANYTIME she desires it, and she O's each time. Not a selfish lover. It's simply easier for me to get and STAY arounsed if I know I won't get anytime until ____ if I don't get it now. Not all the time but most of the time. I absolutely love when I'm horny at night and when I know for sure "it" won't let us down.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Qur said:


> I only O about half the time and only after asking her if I can.


I think I understand the situation now.


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## Qur (May 17, 2014)

Not sure what you mean Phoenix. Something unusual about my comment? Sex is not always about release to me. And, before I O, I like to make sure she's satisfied first. I can delay it, or put it off so that I will feel sexual desire later on (rather than 3 days later).


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## Angel_Eyes (Jul 11, 2012)

omgitselaine said:


> Nope ..... never enough


I sometimes wonder if you have a sex addiction?
Every chance to gloat about your sex life even when the original post is asking for help with a problem they have, in you rush with your "oh i want it ALL the time" unhelpful bull.
We are supposed to be helping the poster not gloating.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

it may not be the "deadline" so much as the time of day. Are you only able to get erections in the morning before you get out of bed? During the night, the male body has numerous partial erections...its the body's mechanism for getting blood to flow into the penis. Maybe you are already half erect from that, and it is easy for you to become fully erect.

During the day, it may be harder to get the whole mechanism to start up from scratch.

Have you tried Viagra? Does it help you in the evening? Viagra simply improves the blood flow to the penis...just like your body does naturally all night long


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## Qur (May 17, 2014)

Murphy,

Thank you for the post. Definitely the type of response I was seeking. You may be on to something with the morning erection and blood flow. I usually am already erect in the morning w/o sexual arousal. Add the arousal factor of her next to me and, yes, it's much easier for me. Sometimes it's easy at night as well. I thought about Viagra in the past but we've had plenty of sessions where my erection is full and the sex is great. Honestly, about half of the time I'm good, the other half no so much. Partial ED? However, the "deadline" has always been a turn on factor for me. A psychological means of extending my erection. It's so frustrating.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

you can take a small amount of Viagra, like 25 mg, to "help it along". and it lasts a good 5 hours, so when you take it is not too important (just do take it at least 1 hour before sex, and take it on an empty stomach for full effect). Cialis is good too, and it lasts more like 24 hours.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

*Re: Re: Deadline arousal*



Angel_Eyes said:


> I sometimes wonder if you have a sex addiction?
> Every chance to gloat about your sex life even when the original post is asking for help with a problem they have, in you rush with your "oh i want it ALL the time" unhelpful bull.
> We are supposed to be helping the poster not gloating.


You think ? My apologies to you and the OP then.

It was not my intention to gloat.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> it may not be the "deadline" so much as the time of day. Are you only able to get erections in the morning before you get out of bed? During the night, the male body has numerous partial erections...its the body's mechanism for getting blood to flow into the penis. Maybe you are already half erect from that, and it is easy for you to become fully erect.
> 
> During the day, it may be harder to get the whole mechanism to start up from scratch.
> 
> Have you tried Viagra? Does it help you in the evening? Viagra simply improves the blood flow to the penis...just like your body does naturally all night long


How old are you guys? I'm in early baby boomer and don't have those kind of problems.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Qur said:


> I like to make sure she's satisfied first.


Big difference between making sure she's satisfied first and asking her permission if you can get you rocks off. That's a little too candyazz for my taste.


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## Qur (May 17, 2014)

Thank you Murphy, appreciated it.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

ThePheonix said:


> How old are you guys? I'm in early baby boomer and don't have those kind of problems.


Old as frigin hell! :rofl: You will see...someday.

"never pass a bathroom
never trust a fart
and NEVER waste a hard-on"

(the bucket list)


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

I was around when Truman was President. I figured I was one of the oldest dawgs on this site.


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