# Vibrators.......good thing or not?



## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

What is the general concensus on vibrator use within a marriage? I got one for my wife years ago (and she has had one ever since), and it seemed really great and a lot of fun (for us togther and her alone), but I have noticed a level of dependancy for her with it. Much harder for her to orgasm without it. 

I am not threatened by it, but noticed that sex becomes focused on only stuff including the vibrator.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

There is no consensus, or there shouldn't be.

Toys are good and fun and helpful. But if for you they seem to be getting in the way, then decrease their usage.

Remember how much fun the refrigerator box is? Sometimes you want a 10,000 piece Lego set and sometimes just a box can be so much fun.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

This is an interesting question. Of course Anon Pink is correct in that this is a very personal and individual thing.

My STBW is a Pure Romance consultant, and my ex-wifes best friend was as well, so I have a bit different personal insight than others may have.

For me personally, toys do absolutely nothing, and they never have. I have never found porn involving toys to be appealing, nor have I ever been turned on by watching a woman use any, or using them with her. It's just not for me.

Being a PR consultant, my STBW has wanted to venture down that road a bit, but tries to be mindful of letting them break the intimacy. We do play with them on the rare occasion however because I know she REALLY enjoys them.

The thing that gets me from an insiders POV is that while they are promoted as enhancements and not replacements, the major selling points revolve around finding what is missing, making up for what is lacking, helping her compensate and reach a pleasure level equal to men, to counter the men who fall asleep, do not do foreplay. To me, those things are indeed replacements as they are not improving on what already exists. One selling statement "After using this one, you'll never need a man again" while I'm sure is only meant to get a laugh, and it does, it sends a very clear message at the same time...men are inadequate.

Don't get me wrong, I understand their value and certainly don't begrudge anyone their use for what ever their reason, and to each their own.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Speaking as a man... I've always enjoyed using toys on my woman and watching her use them on herself. We try not to "rely" on them too much, though. As Sam says, I'd hate to be replaced by a piece of plastic/latex/whatever. 

I guess my question for you would be: How satisfying do you think HER sex life was before they toys were introduced, and how satisfying is it now? Did you make an effort to rock her world the way the toys do?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

I actually really enjoy using them on her and watching her use them as well (my wife), but it does seem to now be a dependancy. Previous to the vibrators, she was someone who had orgasms about 90% of the time, but the 10% of timest it did not happen or they were half ass, she got pretty frustrated. I am fully aware most of the proess is in the head, not just between the legs, but the vibrator was intense enough to be ddarn near 100% success for her, and many times really intense. We started pulling it out and using it just to finish off (becuase is was fun to be part of such intense orgams), but after a few years, it became the only way she could finish. I am not sure if it is or is not an issue for me, but based on other issues in our marriage, I sometimes question if the vibrator is a good thing or not. The replies are interesting for me to hear


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

We use the waterproof kind for shower or tub playtime, and the regular kind fairly regularly, too. He encourages it as he wants me to have my full quota of orgasms D) and then some, and sometimes I have trouble with that.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Well, my SO has only orgasmed a couple of times with me with "regular" PIV sex. So if I want her to orgasm while I'm inside her, she needs some additional input. A small bullet vibrator will often kick off a round of orgasms, including squirting. So I'm all for that. But we don't use it all the time. And we also make sure things aren't "broken", and have sessions without toys. Or we might use a dildo while I give her oral. Basically, mix it up. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

From a purely practical standpoint, millions of dollars are spent on research and marketing. They are devices that are designed and intended to do things no human being is remotely capable of doing manually. In almost every case, they will give a faster and far more powerful orgasm than any man could ever have a part in. That is what they are designed to do.

For me, and the way I enjoy sex the most, feeling the whole body skin on skin, kissing, touching the entire way from beginning of foreplay through the afterglow, toys break that connection for me, and I miss what I want the most out of it.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

with open comunication and patience. most can learn to be terific lovers for eachother.

if you can pull this off I would say advoid toys,porn and just keep the lines of comunication open and learn and enjoy as you go.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

PBear said:


> *Well, my SO has only orgasmed a couple of times with me with "regular" PIV sex. *So if I want her to orgasm while I'm inside her, she needs some additional input. A small bullet vibrator will often kick off a round of orgasms, including squirting. So I'm all for that. But we don't use it all the time. And we also make sure things aren't "broken", and have sessions without toys. Or we might use a dildo while I give her oral. Basically, mix it up.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's my situation as well. I only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, so PIV alone won't get me there. The vibe is in addition to oral and manual stimulation we usually do, and sometimes during PIV but mostly not.

Personally, I would never give up vibe use because that would cut my orgasms down to about half, I think. There are lots of times oral and manual will get me excited, but not over the edge, and that is super-frustrating. The vibe is really useful then. If I had to give up half my orgasms, I'd probably be less interested in having as much sex as we do.

Sometimes we use it just as a playful thing - how many orgasms can he give me in a session? It's fun to find out!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

norajane said:


> That's my situation as well. I only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, so PIV alone won't get me there. The vibe is in addition to oral and manual stimulation we usually do, and sometimes during PIV but mostly not.
> 
> Personally, I would never give up vibe use because that would cut my orgasms down to about half, I think. There are lots of times oral and manual will get me excited, but not over the edge, and that is super-frustrating. The vibe is really useful then. If I had to give up half my orgasms, I'd probably be less interested in having as much sex as we do.
> 
> Sometimes we use it just as a playful thing - how many orgasms can he give me in a session? It's fun to find out!


And from what you describe here, there is a very practical reason to use them for sure.

With my STBW and I, she O's from oral and fingers virtually 100% of the time, and from PIV about 50% of the time. Often multiples in a session...probably 30 O's a week, and in her case, if we regularly used the vibrator, it might even reduce that number because after she goes clitorally from the rabbit, her entire body is so hyper sensitive for a minute or so, that I can't even touch her anywhere.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Ouch, I don't like the rabbit. Tried it a couple of times and just can't get into those damned sharp bunny ears. 

My favorite vibes come from the Lelo brand, all very ergonomic and silicone smooth. No sharp edges!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

This is another one of those things that is very couple specific. I don't think there is a right answer. 

Once in a while DH enjoys using a non vibrating lelo toy on me but that's it.I don't like toys that vibrate bc I want to remain as sensitive as possible for my orgasms w/him. I found vibrating toys dulled the sensation of a toyless orgasm.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Does anybody find vibrators to be painful? H has bought several and I can't have them anywhere near my clit. I O from PIV almost 100% of the time if I'm in the mood so I've never been bothered by this. Maybe I'm just strange...


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

norajane said:


> Ouch, I don't like the rabbit. Tried it a couple of times and just can't get into those damned sharp bunny ears.
> 
> My favorite vibes come from the Lelo brand, all very ergonomic and silicone smooth. No sharp edges!


The one she has isn't the actual Rabbit(tm), but similar in style, ergonomic, silicone, smooth, so no edges. It's a well designed toy for sure, and gets the job done for sure, but as I said, for me, it breaks the intimacy.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Giro flee said:


> Does anybody find vibrators to be painful? H has bought several and I can't have them anywhere near my clit. I O from PIV almost 100% of the time if I'm in the mood so I've never been bothered by this. Maybe I'm just strange...


They could be for me.Not to be graphic but I always had to use the vibrate function on the lowest setting and it never felt good really til the batteries died down a bit. Fresh batteries were WAY too intense for direct clit stimulation.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> They could be for me.Not to be graphic but I always had to use the vibrate function on the lowest setting and it never felt good really til the batteries died down a bit. Fresh batteries were WAY too intense for direct clit stimulation.


Sounds along the same lines as my STBW...the second she pops off, the vibe is tossed and she can't have anything touching her because her whole body is so sensitive it almost hurts.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

One thing I want to say to the ladies participating in this thread, THANK YOU for not framing this as an insecurity or jealousy issue with us men.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Married_in_michigan said:


> but I have noticed a level of dependancy for her with it. Much harder for her to orgasm without it.
> 
> I am not threatened by it, but noticed that sex becomes focused on only stuff including the vibrator.


I think if DH wanted to use toys all the time I'd become threatened by it eventually.

When the sexual ante needs to keep getting upped over and over to keep interests and satisfaction high then I know it's time to do a self imposed drought until I'm dying for a good old fashion missionary pounding  Just saying,sometimes cutting down on sex isn't a bad thing. This is the only instance I say that though.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I also think to each their own. I have a friend who has no problem getting off but her DH gets really turned on by using a vibrator on her, she does it to mix it up for him.

I have a 100% success rate with a vibrator and for many years felt that was good enough for me. I've gone to very, very occasional use with that in an effort to find more organic orgasms.

If my DH were turned on by toys I likely would have just transitioned to couple use. He's not against it but seems to want to work on the other so that's fine with me.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

I cannot O without the aid of a very powerful vibrator. It just ain't happening. 

There's some history that I choose not to share in this reply (to stay on topic) but I take SSRIs and they decrease my sensation down to almost nothing. I had an extremely difficult time reaching O prior to starting the meds so I figured I would get to this point while on them. But they are absolutely necessary for me to function right now, so the side effects just have to be dealt with. 

My H really doesn't like toys of any kind and gets a bit pouty when I want to use them. His entire self worth is caught up in whether or not I O so I have always chosen to fake it, during our whole relationship. (and I definitely don't think ALL men are like that, but my H def is, and I know it bc we've talked about it.) There have been some real ones in there too...maybe 25% of the time...but ever since I started the meds two years ago it just ain't happening unless I use the vibe. And yea the vibes used to hurt before I took these meds!! But that's how I can tell how much my sensation has decreased...I can use it on the jackhammer setting and it still takes me a good 15 mins to finish. 

To my knowledge he doesn't know I fake it and cannot distinguish real from fake. I choose not to tell him because I think it would destroy him and I have not wanted to cross that bridge. I do religiously read and follow Miss Scarlets journey though as I think one day I might make this a priority in my life. But I know by posting this here I am opening myself up to scrutiny so I am prepared for that. 

I try to balance the vibe use since he doesn't know or understand why I like it so much. I am getting more selfish though and now that I truly need it, I do want to reach for it more often in the heat of the moment so I can get mine too! I would say its probably 50/50. I dont masturbate at all anymore since the meds...just dont get any good feelings out of it...so I think that's where the selfishness is coming from. When it's the 50% without its use I am choosing to forgo my own O, unbeknownst to him. I dont want to cause problems by bringing it up at this point because we have other problems going on outside of the bedroom and in the overall scheme of things this just isn't that important to me. 

I can understand why some would feel like it just gets in the way and it's less intimate...because, well...it is!! I feel that way too and don't really like that I NEED it...especially since H doesnt like it too much. And it does limit positions when we try to use it during PIV which I know he doesn't always like.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Aw, darn it, kag - sorry things are like that for you. Of course I totally get where you are coming from (laughing at pun). I feel the same that a vibrator reduces the physical intimacy and the faking/ not being upfront reduces the emotional intimacy. 

Lemme tell you, it was a lot easier to give up the vibe than it was to start telling the truth.

Editing to add that I don't think using think toys breaks intimacy in every case. I've never been in a relationship with someone that wanted to use toys too. I imagine if both people like it then it does not reduce intimacy. Just a matter of personality and whatever way a couple wants to do it.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Mrs. Fozzy has had exactly one O in her life. That was only in the very recent past. It was a relatively weak one, and was only accomplished via prolonged use of a vibe. Intensity does not appear to be the issue, because we've tried the hitachi with no success. And that thing has some horsepower.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Man, that's rough. To read the Hitachi reviews you would think you turn it on and everyone within a 20 foot radius gets off.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I'll tell you what, though....that thing actually does give an amazing back massage.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

Its hit or miss with us. She rarely O's from a vibrator alone. I usually have to be teasing the backdoor or go PIV. Even then she'll sometimes stop and say "Just F u c k me!". Before her hysterectomy I could get her to O in a minute or two with many more after... now it's much more work, and the O's are less intense. So the Vib is needed to help get her over the hill.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

*Re: Re: Vibrators.......good thing or not?*



MissScarlett said:


> Man, that's rough. To read the Hitachi reviews you would think you turn it on and everyone within a 20 foot radius gets off.


Haha I had to laugh at this. 

I've always had a few small toys since my single days...the ones I bought for myself were always rather dainty and discreet. 

A few years ago H bought me a hitachi for Valentines Day. It was a big shock...he had never bought me a toy before, and at first sight I was pretty intimidated! I contemplated returning it but never did because he picked it out and obviously wanted to try it. 

Pre-meds, I found the sensation to be super intense even on the lowest setting. It was fun for indirect stim and to play around. Post-meds it's the only thing that can even get me close.  And it's sort of like having a jackhammer in the bed with you and trying to maneuver around it.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Do you think you might be able to get off the meds at some point down the line, kag?

I have an actual muscle massager that you can pick up at Walgreens. I think clairol made it or something. There is a definite variance between battery operated and electric, it seems.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> I also think to each their own. I have a friend who has no problem getting off but her DH gets really turned on by using a vibrator on her, she does it to mix it up for him.


I get this. My wife has no problem getting off with just me as the 'toy', and has no desire to use toys of any kind. However, I kind of wish she would. I would just love the visual of it, whether it's me or her using them on her.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Vibrators - if it makes her sing, it's a good thing


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

The best Os for me are from him but we have no issue using toys sometimes. I LOVE it when he uses it on me. 

Nothing like the real thing but toys are a great way to change things up or to make DIY easier if I am too lazy.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

I guess it is really dependant on the couple


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Married_in_michigan said:


> I guess it is really dependant on the couple


Yep


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Married_in_michigan said:


> I guess it is really dependant on the couple


Yes, it is highly individual, and it's great if you can speak openly with your wife about your thoughts and feelings. Have you brought up your concerns to her? Are you two able to talk about sex your sex lives openly?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

norajane said:


> Yes, it is highly individual, and it's great if you can speak openly with your wife about your thoughts and feelings. Have you brought up your concerns to her? Are you two able to talk about sex your sex lives openly?


This sums up so much of what I think so many people need to know.

One of the things about Pure Romance is that first and foremost it is a business, and selling things is the primary goal, often by any means necessary. As with any other product, a need has to be there, whether real or created. Of course enthusiasm about the product is a must, as well as allaying any questions and concerns.

One of the things that bothers me about the marketing is the presentation of things as absolutes. Every woman NEEDS one of these, EVERY man loves this. The thing is, that is flat out not true, and if the couple is not able to communicate well about sex, this is one of those things that can cause real problems.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Married_in_michigan said:


> What is the general concensus on vibrator use within a marriage? I got one for my wife years ago (and she has had one ever since), and it seemed really great and a lot of fun (for us togther and her alone), but I have noticed a level of dependancy for her with it. Much harder for her to orgasm without it.
> 
> I am not threatened by it, but noticed that sex becomes focused on only stuff including the vibrator.


Really good post! Welcome fellow Michigander.....I do have a bullet and I use it alone and with hubs...the vibrations do make it easier to cum faster...but I def love the orgasms from hubs more..


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Nothing I enjoy more than using toys with the wife! I can't even think about it cause I'm not in a postion to do anything about it right now.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

samyeagar said:


> This is an interesting question. Of course Anon Pink is correct in that this is a very personal and individual thing.
> 
> My STBW is a Pure Romance consultant, and my ex-wifes best friend was as well, so I have a bit different personal insight than others may have.
> 
> *For me personally, toys do absolutely nothing, and they never have. I have never found porn involving toys to be appealing, nor have I ever been turned on by watching a woman use any, or using them with her. It's just not for me.*


My Husband feels the same, it's not something we've ever gotten into, never even thought about it .....

The 1st time I entertained getting a Vibrator -was 5 yrs ago....(married 19 yrs at that point)...I didn't like it ! Tried it and put it away.. thinking ....really ?? ! 

Bought a dildo too.. did use that about 4 times... but really he told me to put those things away and come to him...even if he had trouble, he'd do whatever he could... Gawd I loved him for that!! 

It's just not the same.. I would only need those things if I didn't have a man. If I got one, I want him every time [email protected]#


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

I'm almost 45 years old and I had never owned one before. I've had girlfriends of mine tell me the years "how could you not have one?, they are awesome!" So about a year ago my husband actually got me one. Have to tell you my girlfriends were right, these things are awesome! Little did I know how great owning a vibrator would actually be. Over the past year my husband's T levels have definitely dropped and my levels are higher than his. I use this as my in between fun to get my needs met. And if I don't reach a clitoral orgasm during sex I will finish off with this with him right next to me helping out a little bit of course. My husband is not at all threatened by this device. And why should he be, he knows I would much prefer him than this. In fact if I had him as much as I wanted him I would probably never use it.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Vibs long term usage desensitize a woman to a man's python.


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## Truly Abby (Sep 16, 2013)

A man's python. Maybe I just don't get around much, but this is a term I've never heard before. (No, don't explain it. I get it.)


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

WalterWhite said:


> Vibs long term usage desensitize a woman to a man's python.


Technically, vibes are most often used for clitoral stimulation, especially by women who have trouble climaxing from penetration alone. Thus, the vibe and the python perform different functions, and a vibe doesn't desensitize a woman to penetration.

Now, if you had said that about vibe vs. a man's tongue or finger, then I can maybe agree. Except the vibe cannot do the exquisite things a tongue can do to provide clitoral stimulation, and I can't imagine a good sex life without that.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

In my sitiuation (which prompted the original post), my wife could orgasm without a vibe, but not 100% of the time, or she felt it took too long. Vibe not only darn near provided 100%, it was super intense orgasms for her a lot of the time. The issue in our case, is that she began to use it 100% of the time becuase it was easy, quick, for sure, and often great orgasm......now it is very hard for her to have an orgasm without it. Even on her own (removing anything to do with me from the equation), she says she cannot get there without the vibe. The thing that kinda stinks about that is it has taken teh fun out of even bothing with oral or be manually getting her off. After a minute or so of any non-vibe stimulation, I can tell it is not really doing much for her. She might be mentally into it, but the vibe is coming out of the drawer pretty soon and sometimes she prefers to just skip foreplay and go to PIV with vibe of fingers with vibe and that takes some of the fun away (in my opinion)


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Married_in_michigan said:


> In my sitiuation (which prompted the original post), my wife could orgasm without a vibe, but not 100% of the time, or she felt it took too long. Vibe not only darn near provided 100%, it was super intense orgasms for her a lot of the time. The issue in our case, is that she began to use it 100% of the time becuase it was easy, quick, for sure, and often great orgasm......now it is very hard for her to have an orgasm without it. Even on her own (removing anything to do with me from the equation), she says she cannot get there without the vibe. The thing that kinda stinks about that is it has taken teh fun out of even bothing with oral or be manually getting her off. After a minute or so of any non-vibe stimulation, I can tell it is not really doing much for her. She might be mentally into it, but the vibe is coming out of the drawer pretty soon and sometimes she prefers to just skip foreplay and go to PIV with vibe of fingers with vibe and that takes some of the fun away (in my opinion)


For me, all of that taken as is, would add up to a whole bunch of 'Why bother?' on my part.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

The problem is...I would really like to be in a relationship where I DID want to bother.....


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

My toy is one of my best friends. With out it sex would be useless. 

Like one of the posters here, I take meds and they totally kill my sex drive and makes everything be almost 100% numb, So in my case sex is almost useless except to confirm my love and devotion to my husband and his to me. 

Since discovering the toy, I can have clitoral orgasms but it takes great effort. It is hard to come by, (poor choice of punny words) any how, it is successful and having my husband present is an added benefit over going solo. He can add fingers, just minor touches turn into so much more due to heightened sensations of skin and everything in between. 

Orgasms threw penetration has been something I have never experienced. We have been married for 20 years. It appears that it will not ever happen but as long as I have clitoral ones then I am satisfied. Guess ya can't miss something you have never had. (O's threw penetration) 

He doesn't mind me using the toy. It is usually to aid in encounters that are not successful. He tries and due to the meds it is not usually enough to push me over the edge, but finishing up with the toy is all it takes. We both have a positive outcome that way.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Vibrators - if it makes her sing, it's a good thing


:iagree: I love the fact that my wife has vibrators and uses them for her pleasure. 

I think it is healthy.


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

My wife is unable to have a vaginal/g-spot orgasm without first having one or more clitoral orgasms. It's just not going to happen. In order to have those types of orgasms reliably, she needs simultaneous clitoral and penetrative stimulation.

Vibrators have been a major enhancement to our sex life. She will frequently use a wand style vibe on her cl!t while we have PIV. I like the way the strong vibrations from the wand feel while we do PIV as well. She will have strong orgasms within 5 or 10 minutes nearly every time using this method.

Sometimes I will give her oral while penetrating her with a dildo style vibe that is perhaps slightly bigger than I am. We did this recently, and she had over a dozen orgasms. So in her case, I don't think that the vibe(s) make her cl!t significantly less sensitive as other posters have reported.

She has told me that she will sometimes masturbate using both the wand (on her cl!t) and the dildo (in her pvssy) at the same time, and by doing that she can have mind-blowing orgasms within a few minutes. We have sex about 2x per week most weeks, and she might masturbate on her own once a week or so, so perhaps the key to reduced clitoral sensitivity is to not use a vibe too frequently or exclusively.

We give vibes a big thumbs-up!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Keeper....I love your posts, because you provide so much detail! 

Very impressive.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

I love mine... and I use them multiple times per week. I have 6... but one favorite. That said, I will take a PIV orgasm anyway. For me, if I have the right lover they become an afterthought. What I find annoying is when a guy wants to use them because they make me O more quickly, and he wants to just get his and have it be over... Umm no.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

Vibes are amazing. We do not use them often but when we do the results are always incredible. You see both people benefit. I love to watch her orgasm. It is incredibly exciting. And with a vibe she can go like the energizer bunny. She has slowly started using it in front of me. That rocks my world. I have also encouraged her to use it in my absence....and then to tell me about it after she has. I love for her to love it! And other times I am tired and know that I cannot give her what she really needs....and so we get out her toy. They are awesome.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

toys, like anything else are a good thing when used in moderation.


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## hartvalve (Mar 15, 2014)

Luvum..


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Married_in_michigan said:


> What is the general concensus on vibrator use within a marriage? I got one for my wife years ago (and she has had one ever since), and it seemed really great and a lot of fun (for us togther and her alone), but I have noticed a level of dependancy for her with it. Much harder for her to orgasm without it.
> 
> I am not threatened by it, but noticed that sex becomes focused on only stuff including the vibrator.


I was the one that introduced my wife to a vibrator and now I regret it.

She is dependent on it to have a satisfying sexual experience. 

At first I didn't mind and enjoyed them with her but for the last 2 years or so she cannot enjoy regular intercourse without it. For a while there she was on anti-psychotic medication which is known to have a negative impact on libido. I thought I was doing us both a favor getting her a hitachi magic wand but instead she became addicted to it. And by addicted I mean not being able to have a satisfying sexual experience without it.

The biggest problem I have with it is when we try to do missionary position where we have this big honking thing between us that she needs. I can no longer just feel all of my wife's body against me as we make love like that. As a result I desire less and usually ask her to roll over. I go very quickly from behind due to the position of her pubic bone and the vibrations I receive from her device. I'm glad she enjoys herself now but there is a cost to our relationship she doesn't care or understand.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

I'm probably in the minority as I have never used one. I guess I prefer human touch. Like a lot of women I can't achieve an orgasm through intercourse but I can through oral sex.


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## Johnnie Walker (May 4, 2015)

I was the one who brought sex toys in our sex since she was afraid to even talk about it. We tried a few until we found the eroscillator. Simply the best! We always mix...variety is the spice in sex...oral, PIV, and using the vibrator when I'm in her just drives her crazy. She never thought she was multiorgasmic and could squirt. At first she was afraid but after time and lots of trust and communication...sex is just wonderful! Whatever you do it has to please both! Enjoy!


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