# Question for the ladies about guy's anatomy



## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

Well, due to an issue with my vasectomy from several years ago, it is looking like I will have to have a surgery soon. Basically, I am constantly in pain. The doctor has said that the best chance for the pain to go away is to remove both testicles. 

I fully understand that this means hormone replacement for life (honestly, have had to do that for a while already). 

Personally, my self image won't be affected by this. I know I am more than my testicles. 

And my wife has assured me she won't be affected by this. But, after her affairs, I sometimes suffer doubt about what she says.

Plus, I guess I am now always concerned about what if our marriage doesn't work out (I never thought about this before her affairs). 

So, my question for the ladies, how much do testicles matter? If you were about to get involved with a guy and he mentioned this...how would it change things?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

This may sound flippant, but it's not. I understand (from talking to my sister, who's big on showing dogs) that there's "fake testicles" for dogs after they've been cut, and the dogs are still going to be shown. They want them to look intact. Did you ask your doctor about options?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

PBear said:


> This may sound flippant, but it's not. I understand (from talking to my sister, who's big on showing dogs) that there's "fake testicles" for dogs after they've been cut, and the dogs are still going to be shown. They want them to look intact. Did you ask your doctor about options?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The brand name my vet sells is Neuticles. No, I'm not kidding.

However, my first thought was also that there was probably something similar - a prosthetic testicle implant - for such situations. If the thought of not having testicles bothers you, I would seriously ask your doctor about such options.

But, no, as a woman I don't really think this would bother me in a prospective mate. I can't have more children, so an infertile partner wouldn't be an issue. And as long as he wasn't freaked out and insecure about his scars or lack of testicles, I just don't really see it being an issue beyond initial curiosity.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Sounds like you have more trust issues than anything else. What has she done since the affairs to prove her trust back (if anything).

Personally, I would never EVER get this procedure done or the surgery after. I don't believe in messing what nature gave me unless it's completely necessary.

If this woman loves you, she will accept you with what ever happens in your life, including no balls.


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## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

PBear said:


> This may sound flippant, but it's not. I understand (from talking to my sister, who's big on showing dogs) that there's "fake testicles" for dogs after they've been cut, and the dogs are still going to be shown. They want them to look intact. Did you ask your doctor about options?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes, there are prosthetic testicles...but, insurance won't cover that cost. Honestly, not having them doesn't bother me much. I am just more concerned with how it would be perceived by my wife (and in a worst case scenario by someone else).


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## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

DoF said:


> Sounds like you have more trust issues than anything else. What has she done since the affairs to prove her trust back (if anything).


We are working our way through this. Honestly, the issue is that before I found out about her affairs I had complete blind trust and faith. Now, I know better. I realize the possibility that this may not be forever and may not encompass everything.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

They make testicular implants for men who have had to have a testicle removed for cancer. Is there a reason you can't get the implants immediately following/during your procedure? What specifically is occurring that is causing the pain and how is it related to your vasectomy? The removal of both testicles seems so extreme. Have you gotten more than 1 opinion?


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

itisjustme said:


> Yes, there are prosthetic testicles...but, insurance won't cover that cost. Honestly, not having them doesn't bother me much. I am just more concerned with how it would be perceived by my wife (and in a worst case scenario by someone else).


Are you sure of the insurance not covering the implants? They covered a prosthetic eye when my brother had to have his eye removed. They cover breast reconstruction following mastectomy. Typically if a body part needs removal due to a medical condition, insurance covers the reconstruction.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Why not have an epididymectomy?


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I think that it would be okay for me aesthetically. It would be unusual but balls aren't what attract me to a guy in the first place and I mainly play with them for his pleasure instead of my own.

Still, the surgery sounds extreme, I would look into other therapies or surgeries before taking such a big leap here. Without testicles, you won't make testosterone. Sex issues aside, that will effect your emotional balance, energy levels, strength etc. I know they make patches for this because of testicular cancer patients but you'll be dependent on them your whole life just to function properly, nevermind get an erection. I would be concerned about the dosage (too low and you can't function, too high and there'll be unwanted side effects) the supply of the patches, availability at pharmacies, insurance coverage and expenses etc. etc.

It's a lot to consider beyond aesthetics.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

itisjustme said:


> Well, due to an issue with my vasectomy from several years ago, it is looking like I will have to have a surgery soon. Basically, I am constantly in pain. The doctor has said that the best chance for the pain to go away is to remove both testicles.
> 
> I fully understand that this means hormone replacement for life (honestly, have had to do that for a while already).
> 
> ...


Have them put something in the sack. Some ping pong balls or something.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Please tell me you at least had a second opinion on this.


I did a lot of research before I had mine done and they are getting better at fixing mistakes that years ago just meant a lifetime of pain


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm seriously flippant. I'm a big reader an I recall from reading a historical tale that around WWII a sterilized ping pong ball was the standard prosthesis. I can imagine that now the prosthesis is incredibly expensive, mostly due to product liability insurance. I'm sure the good folks at Tantus Inc. could mold a perfect replica in medical grade silicone for less than a hundred bucks, but since they don't have a licence. . . . and insurance . . 
Well it is just infuriating that such a simple thing should be at the root of such a decision.
I guess I can't really answer the question. Personally I wouldn't pay more for the prosthesis. Value for your $ is pretty low. and so far the girls agree.
MN


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## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

Thor said:


> Why not have an epididymectomy?


Hahaha...that was step 1 a few years ago. Apparently, there were granulomas formed post epididyectomy that are now where the pain is centered. The way my doctor put it I no longer have a "virgin scrotum" and the more times it is opened the higher chances of larger issues. It was his (and at least 2 other urologists) opinion that if they go in, a complete orchiectomy is the next step. 

As far as insurance covering prosthetic, yes, I have covered that base. Their stance is that it is purely cosmetic. Again, doesn't bother me. Just worried about how much this will bother my wife and if she is covering up due to guilt or something.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

itisjustme said:


> Yes, there are prosthetic testicles...but, insurance won't cover that cost. Honestly, not having them doesn't bother me much. I am just more concerned with how it would be perceived by my wife (and in a worst case scenario by someone else).


I'd fight them tooth and nail, if they cover women getting implants after mastectomies then it's grossly unfair that they won't cover this


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

itisjustme said:


> Hahaha...that was step 1 a few years ago. Apparently, there were granulomas formed post epididyectomy that are now where the pain is centered. The way my doctor put it I no longer have a "virgin scrotum" and the more times it is opened the higher chances of larger issues. It was his (and at least 2 other urologists) opinion that if they go in, a complete orchiectomy is the next step.
> 
> As far as insurance covering prosthetic, yes, I have covered that base. Their stance is that it is purely cosmetic. Again, doesn't bother me. Just worried about how much this will bother my wife and if she is covering up due to guilt or something.


I still believe that if you have something in the sack you will feel better about it. Perhaps they make something that looks and feels like real balls. That way your brain can like the appearance in the mirror and if you or someone else feels it, it feels real.


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## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

Miss Taken said:


> Without testicles, you won't make testosterone. Sex issues aside, that will effect your emotional balance, energy levels, strength etc. I know they make patches for this because of testicular cancer patients but you'll be dependent on them your whole life just to function properly, nevermind get an erection. I would be concerned about the dosage (too low and you can't function, too high and there'll be unwanted side effects) the supply of the patches, availability at pharmacies, insurance coverage and expenses etc. etc.
> 
> It's a lot to consider beyond aesthetics.


Honestly, I have been on complete testosterone replacement therapy for about 2-years due to a separate medical condition with my pituitary gland. Not a concern on that side of things. 

Honestly, purely an aesthetic concern for how others may view me; not how I view myself. Like I said, I am comfortable with myself. Just want to make sure I won't make others uncomfortable to the point of being an issue.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

treyvion said:


> I still believe that if you have something in the sack you will feel better about it. Perhaps they make something that looks and feels like real balls. That way your brain can like the appearance in the mirror and if you or someone else feels it, it feels real.



just don't use the same mold that they used in Bad Grandpa


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## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

Almostrecovered said:


> I'd fight them tooth and nail, if they cover women getting implants after mastectomies then it's grossly unfair that they won't cover this


I have fought them for 4-months about covering the testosterone therapy. Their claim is that it is for erectile dysfunction. My claim is that my body no longer makes it and it is purely hormone replacement therapy. They cover hormone replacement for women; but, not men. The appeal was just denied for the final time. I am not allowed to bring it up again.

I hate insurance. grrrrrr


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

get a lawyer
the MO is to deny claims until you give up

start putting pressure back on them


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## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

treyvion said:


> I still believe that if you have something in the sack you will feel better about it. Perhaps they make something that looks and feels like real balls. That way your brain can like the appearance in the mirror and if you or someone else feels it, it feels real.


I am worried about affording the surgery (we have a 
$5k deductible) let alone the anticipated $3k not covered by "nuticles" (same word used by my urologist). I have looked at a lot of pictures. Honestly, unless you feel it, everything looks perfectly normal there. Won't be an issue for me. I just worry about how my wife will handle it (and if we don't work out how the next woman will). 

Believe me, this has been a last resort. I am sick of the pain and have endured this as long as I can. It is a constant feeling like someone is squeezing my balls. That constant nausea feeling. And, after sex...um wow...horse kick for a while.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I dated a guy who had a very strange form of testicular cancer in his past. His cajones were VERY small, almost non-existant. He was still able to perform, and very much a MAN. I don't think it's a big issue.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

My stepfather had an orchiectomy and since then he's been more concerned about the physical change than anyone else. His cancer has advanced significantly since the surgery, so "performance" hasn't been much of an issue. My mother has mentioned on a couple of occasions that prior to the latest downturn, it made no difference to her, other than it just nags at him.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

My insurance wanted testing first which was covered but I paid as part of the annual deductible. I was barely in the normal range so they wouldn't pay for the testosterone. When it came down to it the medication is cheap enough that I don't really care if they don't pay it. Way cheaper than Cialis (for ED) which they do pay. quite frankly the testosterone will help put on muscle mass which will help me lose weight which will reduce the amount of insulin I need which is also more expensive than the testosterone. 
What I'm saying is that it is a false economy. supplying the testosterone to me or you would be cheaper for the insurance company.
$3k for testicle prosthesis. Easily 2000% of what the vet charges I'm sure. 
MN


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## lovelost2soon (Aug 9, 2014)

It wouldn't bother me in the least. If your wife loves you then it shouldn't bother her either. I would be more concerned about her affairS then how she would feel about you with your upcoming surgery. Do what you need to do to relieve the pain and help you live a better life. Good luck!


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

I just feel bad that you deal with physical pain from that.

I would be worried the surgery wouldn't guarantee the take away of pain there.

Anyway it is looked at, if you feel better, you will feel more confident. 

A man can still be sexy without his beans!!!


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

itisjustme said:


> Honestly, I have been on complete testosterone replacement therapy for about 2-years due to a separate medical condition with my pituitary gland. Not a concern on that side of things.
> 
> Honestly, purely an aesthetic concern for how others may view me; not how I view myself. Like I said, I am comfortable with myself. Just want to make sure I won't make others uncomfortable to the point of being an issue.


Wow, you've really been through the wringer. I'm sorry you're going through this but I guess on the plus side, you're already experienced with having to take hormonal replacement therapies. 

I think aesthetically, your wife will have to and likely will endure. I'm sure she isn't with you for your testicles. I haven't been with a partner where this was a concern so I could be speaking out of my @ss here but I think I'd be okay with it. So projecting my hypothetical reaction onto others, I think a lot of women would be okay with that too.

Most of us have something physical about us that we don't like - for me it's the stretch marks on my tummy from my two kids. My current partner is okay with them because it was from carrying his kids that I got those marks but I can relate in that I've worried/wondered before what a new partner would think.

I think you have a great attitude and that you will still feel comfortable in your own skin will more than make up for it. Confidence... it's sexy.


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## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

Thank you everyone. My mind is a bit more at ease...Just a big decision and want to make sure I am not making a mistake.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

As a woman it wouldn't bother me a bit. Whether a wife or a new girlfriend.

But I would often wonder and feel sad about how the GUY feels - I know men like some additional attention there... would you still? Assuming sensation is maintained?

But they would not impact my interest in other men AT ALL. I wouldn't miss them and want to cheat just to have sex with a man who has them.

But I agree with a second opinion and if the original surgery issue was a result of the surgeon, I'd sure as heck get his malpractice insurance to cover the cost of implants.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> I'd fight them tooth and nail, if they cover women getting implants after mastectomies then it's grossly unfair that they won't cover this


But a mastectomy isn't elective. A vasectomy is.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

the vasectomy is elective but the treatment of pain resulting from the vasectomy is not


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I honestly wouldn't care. It wouldn't bother me at all, and I wouldn't think anything different during sex.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> the vasectomy is elective but the treatment of pain resulting from the vasectomy is not


Wouldn't matter. The thing that started the pain is elective. 

If he had testicular cancer and had to have his testicles removed, then implants are covered.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Wouldn't matter. The thing that started the pain is elective.
> 
> If he had testicular cancer and had to have his testicles removed, then implants are covered.


friend had elective eye surgery and complications resulted from it and he was covered in meds and other such things

if I jab a shard of glass in my foot the stitches are covered


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I just want to say once again to be sure to get other expert medical opinions from good Urologists. Granulomas are not rare after vasectomy. Testicular blowouts are not rare after vasectomy. Cysts in the epididymous are not rare. This level of pain *is* rare.

Is the pain only on one side or is it both sides? If you press on where it hurts does it hurt more (which indicates an injury at that spot)? Can you stimulate the pain by pressing elsewhere?

Have you tried nerve blocks on the ilio-inguinal nerve?

I've had a cyst and it hurt like crazy. It probably blew out one time, which was a special kind of pain! I also have bad disks in my back which can cause various pains and sensations. There is a difference between a pain sensation caused by a damaged nerve and a pain caused by an injury at the location of the pain.

There were days I'd let the 14 yr old kid next door do back surgery to make the pain go away. I understand how demoralizing constant pain can be.

Bilateral severe pain just seems statistically improbable from a good vasectomy. If it were me I would exhaust every other option before considering having testicles removed. I'd go to several other good urologists even if I had to pay out of pocket for their fees. A couple hundred $ is a small price to pay for confidence in my treatment plan.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I wouldn't be bothered at all. As either a wife or girlfriend. I too, would be more concerned about his emotional health as a result of this.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

intheory said:


> I don't see why you should get fake testicle implants. Seems like a waste of time. But I'm not a guy, so maybe I can't understand why that might be desirable.


As a guy, I think I would get the implants. To me it is perhaps the same as reconstructive breast surgery after mastectomy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

itisjustme said:


> Well, due to an issue with my vasectomy from several years ago, it is looking like I will have to have a surgery soon. Basically, I am constantly in pain. The doctor has said that the best chance for the pain to go away is to remove both testicles.


Your story is the reason I would never allow my H to get a vasectomy.. I understand those risks are very small.. but I read about every one of them while contemplating which birth control to use after we were done...I opted for the IUD... just not worth even the smallest risk to my husband.. I was used to things being stuck up me.. no big deal. 

So long as the rest works.. I don't think it would bother me..

I'd go for the implants for sure... a man in pain would kill the sex life.. just a shame that this ever happens..


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Have them put something in the sack. Some ping pong balls or something.


Pool balls!

(Sorry op. Was too easy)


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Thor said:


> I just want to say once again to be sure to get other expert medical opinions from good Urologists. Granulomas are not rare after vasectomy. Testicular blowouts are not rare after vasectomy. Cysts in the epididymous are not rare. This level of pain *is* rare.
> 
> Is the pain only on one side or is it both sides? If you press on where it hurts does it hurt more (which indicates an injury at that spot)? Can you stimulate the pain by pressing elsewhere?
> 
> ...


I think with a surgery like this, a prostate removal, shaft removal, I would get 5 or so unique opinions. I wouldn't tell each doctor about the previous doctors findings and try to discern what my true options were.


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## itisjustme (Nov 30, 2009)

Thanks everyone for the responses. I have checked with multiple Urologists. The consensus is I have 3 options. 1) live with the pain. 2) neural blocks (that cost $2500 and last about 4 weeks on average) and 3) removal (which has an estimated 75% success rate on pain elimination). 

I have tried the neural blocks and they are costly. They work and work well...but only last about 4 weeks (and sometimes not even that long). We have your typical high deductable HSA insurance...and I am sick of spending our family vacation money on my pain management (not to mention the time off work). I am looking for a more permanent solution. Quite frankly, my testicles don't do anything for me anymore (I am on 100% exogenous testosterone and after the epididyectomy kids are not an option). 

As far as the insurance coverage, they will cover the surgery. They will not cover the prosthetic testicles. I could argue this and appeal it; but, we start to run into money issues (which is what I am trying to aviod). Personally, it upsets me that they will cover breast implants for mastectomy and female hormone replacement treatment but they won't cover testicle implants or male hormone replacement. Wish there were something I could do...but, not going to spend the little money I have trying to fight a corporation with deep pockets...

What I was looking for was honest feedback from women about how much this would freak them out. I feel I got it. And, honestly, what I heard puts my mind at ease. Thank you all sincerely...


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Does your employer offer a legal services plan? We have something which is pretty cheap, like $20 per month, which gives us access to lawyers.

Alternatively, a shark lawyer might well take your case on contingency of some sort.

I think you have a slam dunk case. Really the only additional cost is that of the actual prosthetics. The rest of the cost of surgery is already being borne by the cost of removing the testicles.

Have you discussed with a surgeon having a neurectomy? Have you talked to a pain management specialist about nerve ablation?

I had a lot of pain due to a damaged nerve from the f'd up hernia operation . A couple of docs tried nerve block injections which were 100% effective for about 30 minutes. But they proved the damage was below a certain location. A general surgeon went in and removed a section of the nerve below that point, effectively stopping the pain. The side effect is numbness where that nerve served, which shouldn't be a problem for you. The ilio-inguinal nerve and IIRC the sacro-inguinal nerves are the ones which service the testicles. All you'd lose is sensation in your testicles.

Nerve ablation is the use of a radio frequency to burn away the nerve. It has the same result as the neurectomy. They put in a needle and find the nerve which is carrying the pain signal. Then when you and the doc are both convinced it is the right spot, they zap the nerve. This is a barely invasive procedure, involving only a needle insertion.

I balked on the ablation because I was not confident in the doc. The neurectomy worked great.


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