# How do you know?



## salihulu

How do you know you met your soul mate? 
Is it a love at first sight thing or maybe it takes a little time?
Do you have any personal experience?


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## eh12

Make a list of all the things you want in a mate. You won't get all of them, maybe 7 out of 10. If you marry that person, those 3 that you don't get will be your vulnerability later in life and must be managed so you can stay faithful to your spouse. Make sure you have the same core values in the faith area as that is the biggest area where fundamental differences occur.


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## PTCrusier

I would be careful not to look at that person and ask, "do they have what I want in a spouse?" That is already starting from a rather self-centered/selfish point of view. 

There are better questions:
As a Christian you would want to know:
1. Are they a Christian?
2. Would marrying this person hinder in any way my walk with Christ?
3. Would marrying this person hinder their walk with Christ?
4. Am I ready to serve this person in spite of all their shortcoming and failings and not just because of the qualities I adore? 

How did I know when I found my wife? When being around her and with her improved my relationship with God and never once did I have to choose between them.


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## Mavash.

I wasn't a christian back when I met my husband and I had a list. I just wanted a nice guy with morals, ethics, and a good work ethic. Beyond that it came down to if WE loved each other and had chemistry together. The chemistry is the glue that keeps you together when times get rough.

I knew he was the one by the 3rd date. Can't explain it - I just knew. Been married for 20 years now.


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## LovesHerMan

Be aware that there is more than 1 person who could be your potential soul mate. Some people do experience love at first sight, but for most it grows slowly. You want to see the person in many different situations so you can judge how they handle the difficulties of life.

You want someone whose strengths balance your weaknesses, not a clone of yourself.

See if they share your basic values. Do they get your sense of humor? How do they treat others in their life?

I think that you grow to be soul mates over time by supporting each other and going through tough times together.


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## that_girl

I have met a few people that just instantly clicked with me.

Some females (best friends now) and two males (an ex and my hubs).

I don't believe there is just ONE soul mate for each person. Different people can click with you and for me, it's instant. 

I had only felt that with my ex, until hubs. I thought i'd never feel it again with a man. It had been 7 years. But when i met my hubs, it was like BAM! Instant. He said he felt the same. It was attraction and just wanting to be near the other person. It's a good feeling.


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## Mavash.

lovesherman said:


> Be aware that there is more than 1 person who could be your potential soul mate.
> 
> You want to see the person in many different situations so you can judge how they handle the difficulties of life.


Exactly. I read in a book once "be careful who you date because you never know who you will fall in love with".


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## samantha heart

haaa wooow dats a dificult 1.coz at times yu thnk uv got mr ryt but ts just smth else pray bwt t


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## jenniferswe

I don't think there really is such thing as a "soul mate". It's just a matter of finding someone whose compatible.


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## Riverside MFT

I think soulmates are formed, not found. I know quite a few happily married couples who have been married for 50+ years. When I see these couples, I think of them as soulmates; however, it took them over 50 years to become soulmates.

I wrote about this topic on my marriage blog Soul Mates | Improve My Marriage


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