# How important is her satifaction



## tfarnz (Feb 26, 2011)

Just a quick question. After talking with my wife, she wuas telling me that all her friends husbands could care less about them having a big O. I'm not saying I'm Mr perfect but am I the only husband that most of my pleasure comes from getting my wife off as many times a s possible. From what I've heard this is not the norm.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

I am offered mine first, but at the same time, the big O is not necessary every time. I can enjoy sex without it (both physically and emotionally) but I do get mine enough, and always first (he knows his limits and if I am not first, chances are it's gonna be one of those times I do without LOL )


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My wife was a very uncreative boring lover. So I had to do everything. From start to finish. I always made sure she came and came first. But after years of a do nothing cold fish I gave up. It never mattered to her and I stopped caring
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

Yeah my H is the same way, he could care less if i get off or not. Thank god for toys.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> My wife was a very uncreative boring lover. So I had to do everything. From start to finish. I always made sure she came and came first. But after years of a do nothing cold fish I gave up. It never mattered to her and I stopped caring
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I often think I don't get to do enough


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

My wife's pleasure is my goal. Very seldomly does she not have at least one orgasm, often two, and occasionally three, in one love making session, she came five times(that one made me feel like a super stud ). 
It turns me on to no end to see her in the throws of passion. After she's done, I work on mine. After she settles down a little, she puts just as much effort into my pleasure as I do hers.
Sometimes, though, she'll work me over without getting herself off and on the occasional times when I can't hold out long enough, we have hands, mouths and toys.


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## jerwings (Mar 12, 2011)

to TFARNZ,.....I totally agree with you. My wifes satisfaction is a real turn on. I really enjoy giving her an orgasm. I can orgasm very soon after that. Sometimes, (alot) , when we have intercourse, we can both come at the same time . Its great. After all,...ladies first


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## jerwings (Mar 12, 2011)

I certainly agree Dan,....thats the goal


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

It is very important. We hear about the increased frequency of sexless marriages and men not having as much sex as they would like or a wife who is like a dead fish but no one ever ask them the right questions. How good are they as lovers? 

They all report being great lovers. How is it possible when so many studies show that men over estimate their wife's level of satisfaction. The real question is how much time do they take to warm her-up, have foreplay and then intercourse. If there is 15 mins between the approach to the his orgasm, it is doubtful that the woman is satisfied. A woman is not likely to be enthusiastic about watching her partner have orgasms using her as an outlet.

In addition, some men feel that after marriage they don't need to do the romantic things they did during the dating years. I am certain that means different things to each man but that is like a bait and switch, if he changes so will she. 

I have always wondered what exactly does it mean when a man says - "I have to do all of the work". I have seen that so many times. What is the partner not doing that you feel she should do and what are you doing that your feel you should not have to do. 

Can you be specific, I want to know. My husband does not give me any negative feedback he just lets me know when I do what he likes and tells me what he would like. I do the same. But I don't know really know how I measure up. What are the expectation in terms of what a man would consider an equal amount of effort on the part of both.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

With zero feedback I am guessing in a relative sense. I don't claim any carnal Kama sutric mojo. But since I don't get any verbal response of any kind it's hard to tell.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Very rarely do I not cum. If my So did not care about me being able to cum, I would feel unsatisfied and resentful.

I all ways care about his pleasure too. It is important to me that we both cum as often as possible.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Pffff... If not the best, it is up there. Rarely do I not make her come. Sometimes only once. Most of the time between 2 and 6 times. Record so far 9 I guess. I am lucky though that she comes relatively easy (compared to other women).
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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband's main goal is to please and pleasure me! 

During sex, he really focuses on doing what makes me excited. When he gets me excited, I moan, my moaning makes him excited, and he cums very fast! 

If he wants to pursue his fantasy, he makes sure I am comfortable with it. 

My sex drive is higher than his, I want sex every day and sometimes twice a day. Very often he just lets me have my way and enjoy his body, he doesn't cum, and that really makes me feel loved by him. 

He knows clearly that it is important to make me happy!


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

My husband is very interested in pleasing me. BUT that does not mean that every once in a while he does not want to just lie there and be regaled with sexual lovin without any effort on his part. I try to remember to do that every now and again. The thing to watch is that sometimes he will slip into a longer term lazy mode, and I have to say hey there bucksnort, what about me? He always responds positively.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

mine always multiples, just sayin


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Mom6547 said:


> My husband is very interested in pleasing me. BUT that does not mean that every once in a while he does not want to just lie there and be regaled with sexual lovin without any effort on his part. I try to remember to do that every now and again. The thing to watch is that sometimes he will slip into a longer term lazy mode, and I have to say hey there bucksnort, what about me? He always responds positively.


Yeah - I think it's that long-term thing.

My hubby used to think about my pleasure as #1, then his.

That kind of tapered off when he started having physical issues (ED).

Then, after the TBI, it stopped. It became all about him. Our counselor said that his world had gotten smaller and that he was focusing on rehab, getting better, carving out a life for himself based on his issues, etc., and that I got lost in the shuffle - very common when someone has a major medical crisis.

But, he's coming around. Last week, one night when we fooled around it was all ABOUT ME - he wanted to make sure I had a good time and said I didn't need to do anything for him.

So, he's coming around - but it was a long time cumming!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My partner's satisfaction is often more important to me than my own. Really, I know I'll "get mine" no matter what happens, and the more she's turned on, the more I am as well. Plus, the more she enjoys it, the more often she'll want it. Pretty selfish, actually...  We have had sessions that started out just for me (BJ, anyone?), but after, she will get hers too. Not because she asks for it or anything, but because I can't keep my hands off of her. Most times, she'll reach orgasm before and after me, as well as with me if we can time it right. I recently bought her a little "finger" vibrator, which is great for slipping between us at the right time.

She has said before that I'm turning her into a "lazy lover", as she is very happy (apparently) to let me have my way with her. Maybe I need to let her take the reins once in a while too... 

C


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

tfarnz said:


> Just a quick question. After talking with my wife, she wuas telling me that all her friends husbands could care less about them having a big O. I'm not saying I'm Mr perfect but am I the only husband that most of my pleasure comes from getting my wife off as many times a s possible. From what I've heard this is not the norm.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm with you. When i was married, I always made sure my wife had an O every time. I'm not trying to be Mr. Perfect either, but perhaps my wife and I were just ignorant enough to think that's how it was done. I'd feel silly and very selfish having pleasured myself and her not reaching climax.

I can't think of many reasons why someone shouldn't want sex with their spouse, but if a guy just has the O himself and doesn't give one to his wife, I can see that getting old fast for the woman.


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## misslizzy89 (Mar 14, 2011)

tfarnz said:


> Just a quick question. After talking with my wife, she wuas telling me that all her friends husbands could care less about them having a big O. I'm not saying I'm Mr perfect but am I the only husband that most of my pleasure comes from getting my wife off as many times a s possible. From what I've heard this is not the norm.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My husband also does this. He says it makes it better for him to know that he can please me the few times we do have sex.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I friend of mine mentioned in passing that her husband, who I also know, was very sexually 'demanding'. I didn't ask what that meant and frankly it's none of my business. Knowing what I know about their marriage I think it means he wants sex a lot more than she does. On the other hand I know her well enough to guess that she would practically demand to have both a vaginal and clitoral orgasm, in a specified way, at the specified time, in a particular order with the lights just so, in a bed made in a very specific way, etc. etc. etc. So it's entirely possible that 'demanding' really means, he doesn't service her like a dutiful male concubine.

Who knows? People are weird.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

It's completely false.
A. Men get pleasure from seeing their wife get pleasure. B. Men want more sex so they work hard getting their wife to enjoy it in order to get more of it.
What these women are doing is projecting that their husband's don't care since their husbands are not successful at it and don't know how to discuss it with their wives.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

For me, the whole point is to pleasure my wife and enjoy being intimate with her, so I make sure she gets what she needs. I don't have to worry about getting mine cause that's a given. I don't know how a guy could enjoy sex if his wife isn't left fulfilled.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

tfarnz said:


> Just a quick question. After talking with my wife, she wuas telling me that all her friends husbands could care less about them having a big O. I'm not saying I'm Mr perfect but am I the only husband that most of my pleasure comes from getting my wife off as many times a s possible. From what I've heard this is not the norm.


No, you are not alone. Good Lovers FEEL this way, their wives pleasure IS their Pleasure, her O is equally if not more so important than his (but you know this is easier for guys- they will get it!) . Forplay is just as enjoyable, just as much anticipation in taking the time to get her hot & bothered -then bringing her to the mountaintops, often right along with him. 

My husband is one of these men. For him, it has ALWAYS & forever been about me, as much forplay as I need-there were times be worked on me & I feel asleep (I know this is awful, but in the past for sure). Always waiting for me to get mine, many times he has struggled with that, but he has mastered it , then I tell him to let loose, plow me, give it to me good, give it to me hard, sometimes I say nothing, he just KNOWS. And we ride the rapture together, I know this brings him sheer happiness. Nothing less will do. 

He has told me he would not feel fullfilled if I did not get mine, it would bother him tremendously. I asked him if he would have still married me (if I had trouble), he said probably but it would have plagued him, it is just THAT important for him. None of this is any concern cause I always do - on those rare occasions he went 1st, I got mad & made him give it to me again! 

I even got a taste of what it would feel like to get MINE and him not get his, in these past couple years. And it inwardly bothered ME. I wanted him to get his! It just wasn't the same. It matters to both us of. His Pleasure is My pleasure, My pleasure is His pleasure.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

My husband's O is my goal.

Instead, he only wants me to have O, which is getting boring.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Men's Health recently ran an article online about The 10 Rules of Sex (or something like that, I forget the exact title). In it, the #1 rule is to make sure the woman cums first, because it takes her longer to get there. Most guys might as well have a button grafted onto their leg that the press anytime they want to blast off, that's how easy it is for us. But it's important for men to get their women off first because:

1) Watching your wife's eyes roll back and her back arch is the greatest thing in the world.
2) The delay in our own orgasm will intensify its strength and release.
3) Once the husband has done his job, he can just relax and enjoy the rest of the ride.

But when I hear stories like this from ladies, the first thing that always pops into my head is this: do their husbands know that they're not satisfying their wives, or are the wives faking it? I have occasionally heard of a woman faking orgasm for her partner's sake early in the relationship, and gets trapped in that cycle because her partner is "just doing what he's always done," but the wife is afraid to say why it doesn't work anymore.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Dr. Rockstar, that article sounds interesting, even if it's a generalization... Things are switched in my current relationship, although I'm blaming the condoms for my slow trigger.  But my lady can cum in less than 2 minutes to start with, and then even quicker after that. And yes, it's pretty obvious when she does. I'll just say that I wash a lot of towels... She always does cum first, and I get mine somewhere in the middle.

I always figured that if a woman regularly fakes an orgasm and never works to improve her partner's ability to address her needs, she's getting what she deserves. Same with guys whining about their partner's abilities, but they never speak up because they don't want to hurt her feelings.

C


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