# Does anyone "Journal"?



## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

I've kept typed and handwritten notes, but I'm wondering if maybe I should go and buy a journal?

I kept one as a teenager, but with this confusing rollercoaster ride, I'm wondering if maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to maybe put it all together and then write as I need to.

I've read here some posts about being confused, not being able to remember the "crap" that landed us here etc....

Just wondering if anyone does this and how effective it is to you?


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

I journal.. sometimes i use here as part of it just to get some advice if i have questions.. but most of the time i like to keep my thoughts private.. there are some judgemental pr*cks on here 

Journalling helps, to get the thoughts out, as well as to keep tabs on whats going on just in case you need the info down the line. I started doing it because my therapist highly recommended it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I have journalled and find it to be very therapeutic, IMO.


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## lost_&_trying (Apr 4, 2011)

I've been doing this for 3.5 months. At first it was a way to help find myself again from everything that she said was wrong with me/us/her. Seriously, I became the person I never wanted to be and NEEDED to change. So I started it to analyze things that went wrong, how I went wrong, how we interacted, by beliefs, shortcomings, etc. Lots of emotions pouring out like never before and it helped build my corrective thoughts of how to go about changing me. I did this up until a month later when she left our home. It was at that point that I took it somewhere different. It got very heavy w/ what I was writing. Thoughts/feelings/actions/consequences/reactions/spiritual...you name it and it's in there in some form or another. I was devastated by her leaving. But the journal helped me work through what needed to be worked on. Counselors, therapists, pastor I've been talking to all say that it was the best decision I could have made for myself. Countless hours have been put into my writings, as I've got over 400 pages of entries (I write small too). I've looked at us in so many different ways and put so much effort into accepting the situation for what it is...knowing that I'd be willing to reconcile should she be ready at some point. The writing helped me realize that I do not have any control over anything except me, so if it is meant to happen it will. The journal helped clear my head, document things (I forget details sometimes), and basically get me on track for my life as I'm living it right now. It's for me and what I want out of myself. I found this daily routine to be very helpful, very insightful when reading over thoughts, and very inspirational when being able to re-read my progress from 'ground zero' until now.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Lilyana said:


> I journal.. sometimes i use here as part of it just to get some advice if i have questions.. but most of the time i like to keep my thoughts private.. there are some judgemental pr*cks on here
> 
> Journalling helps, to get the thoughts out, as well as to keep tabs on whats going on just in case you need the info down the line. I started doing it because my therapist highly recommended it.


It's funny, I can't remember if my therapist ever told me to try this....if I had kept a journal, I would know b/c I would have written it down - sheesh



> Jellybeans
> I have journalled and find it to be very therapeutic, IMO.


Is there anyway that your ex can use it against you?....uh, and I know SOMEONE will make fun of me, but what's "IMO"? lol



> lost_&_trying
> I've been doing this for 3.5 months. At first it was a way to help find myself again from everything that she said was wrong with me/us/her. Seriously, I became the person I never wanted to be and NEEDED to change. So I started it to analyze things that went wrong, how I went wrong, how we interacted, by beliefs, shortcomings, etc. Lots of emotions pouring out like never before and it helped build my corrective thoughts of how to go about changing me. I did this up until a month later when she left our home. It was at that point that I took it somewhere different. It got very heavy w/ what I was writing. Thoughts/feelings/actions/consequences/reactions/spiritual...you name it and it's in there in some form or another. I was devastated by her leaving. But the journal helped me work through what needed to be worked on. Counselors, therapists, pastor I've been talking to all say that it was the best decision I could have made for myself. Countless hours have been put into my writings, as I've got over 400 pages of entries (I write small too). I've looked at us in so many different ways and put so much effort into accepting the situation for what it is...knowing that I'd be willing to reconcile should she be ready at some point. The writing helped me realize that I do not have any control over anything except me, so if it is meant to happen it will. The journal helped clear my head, document things (I forget details sometimes), and basically get me on track for my life as I'm living it right now. It's for me and what I want out of myself. I found this daily routine to be very helpful, very insightful when reading over thoughts, and very inspirational when being able to re-read my progress from 'ground zero' until now.


I wish I had started sooner....I am glad to hear it's helping you! 400 pages??? wow....I may print off the stuff I've posted here from the beginning and make it sort of a scrap book kinda thing? :scratchhead:


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## lost_&_trying (Apr 4, 2011)

I know it's a lot, but it's funny when you put sole focus on yourself and thoughts instead of doing what distracted my everyday life in general. Pages seem to fill up when there's thoughts/issues to work through on a personal level.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

I don't journal, but my stbxw does. She keeps that thing close to her all the time - won't leave it out of her site. I would never think about looking at it as I respect her privacy, always have. It makes me feel like a criminal actually when she locks it up or takes it with her every where she goes but that is her private journal so I understand why she does that. Maybe I will start to keep a journal as well but I am way behind all the drama if I start now. I kept one a few years ago when she had her EA/PA and i still have it but i think at this time it would be too painful to read it - too many bad memories. I read somewhere that after you've written bad stuff down that you should burn the pages - but I don't know if that applies to every bad situation. Anyway, no I don't keep one. I have a lot on here as it is and I guess I could go back and print some stuff off and create a booklet. I can see where it helps to keep one, but I can also see where it can send you back to terrible times if you rehash it. I have a lot of great memories of our family in my heart, and i have a very good grasp on what/where I went wrong.

God only knows what she is writing in hers but I know that down deep inside below all the hurt and suffering she is a wonderful, loving woman and a super great person. I miss her.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

JustAGirl said:


> Is there anyway that your ex can use it against you?....uh, and I know SOMEONE will make fun of me, but what's "IMO"? lol


IMO = In my opinion 

I don't know how your ex could use it against you. Aren't you separated/divorcing? Plus, that is your personal property.

I still have the journals from pre and post-separation. I think about chucking them out all the time but haven't yet. I will some day.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I have kept a journal and have been writing in it faithfully since the beginning of the year. I agree, it is very therapeutic. I even went out and bought another one because this one will be done soon.
Sometimes I write in it every day, maybe even several times a day, depending on how I'm feeling. I might skip a day but for the most part it helps me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I have kept a journal for years. I have stacks of them. It really helps me work through things. You can be as selfish and rude as you want in your journal. For me, I really like saying whatever I want and no one will ever know.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

You know, even if you don't get to tell him sometimes it helps to write it that way anyway-like to just get it out and maybe the urge to contact won't be as strong?

I debate leaving my journals for my son. I don't think anyone should ever read them, though :/


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

My journal is for me, I won't share it with anyone else.

Also, it's been helpful for me to read how depressed I was when he first left, and how as the days and weeks progressed, I am getting stronger.
When I'm down or sad, I read the beginning entries and remind myself of how far I've come.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CarrieAnn (Mar 25, 2011)

I journal in a Word document with a password. I "back up" the document to my email account periodically.

Journaling has been great for me to think things through. I started journaling in notebooks when I got pregnant for the first time in 1996. By 2002 when my marriage was getting rocky, I switched to the Word document to protect my privacy.

When I started seeing a therapist last month, she was really glad that I have journals. They are great way to sort out your thoughts. 

The saddest thing on earth though was re-reading 9 years of the same crap over and over ad nauseam. I pulled out little snippets of entries into a new document, and made a 16 page document that looks like same s**t different year. So when I have these ambivalent feelings about ending my marriage, that helps me put my thoughts into perspective.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Funny you say that CarrieAnn, I have many years of recurring themes in my journals, too. That should clue me in that my marital problems will never change!


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Mine had the same themes also.
And it usually said something along the lines that I want to change my life.
Well, this is the first time I am actually doing it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

DG that is excellent! I really enjoy your posts. You really are moving forward and it's inspirational to me.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

lost_&_trying said:


> I know it's a lot, but it's funny when you put sole focus on yourself and thoughts instead of doing what distracted my everyday life in general. Pages seem to fill up when there's thoughts/issues to work through on a personal level.


That's true....I've mostly put my focus on my H, guess by doing this, I am focusing on myself! Thanks for your input!



> brighterlight
> I don't journal, but my stbxw does. She keeps that thing close to her all the time - won't leave it out of her site. I would never think about looking at it as I respect her privacy, always have. It makes me feel like a criminal actually when she locks it up or takes it with her every where she goes but that is her private journal so I understand why she does that. Maybe I will start to keep a journal as well but I am way behind all the drama if I start now. I kept one a few years ago when she had her EA/PA and i still have it but i think at this time it would be too painful to read it - too many bad memories. *I read somewhere that after you've written bad stuff down that you should burn the pages - but I don't know if that applies to every bad situation. *Anyway, no I don't keep one. I have a lot on here as it is and I guess I could go back and print some stuff off and create a booklet. I can see where it helps to keep one, but I can also see where it can send you back to terrible times if you rehash it. I have a lot of great memories of our family in my heart, and i have a very good grasp on what/where I went wrong.
> 
> *God only knows what she is writing in hers but I know that down deep inside below all the hurt and suffering she is a wonderful, loving woman and a super great person. I miss her.* I hope you see her again soon!


I think I will write down some bad stuff on a seperate piece of paper and burn it! 



> Jellybeans
> IMO = In my opinion lol thank you!
> 
> I don't know how your ex could use it against you. Aren't you separated/divorcing? We are separated, just wondered if he could supena it in court if he were to want to fight dirtyPlus, that is your personal property.
> ...





> DelinquentGurl
> I have kept a journal and have been writing in it faithfully since the beginning of the year. I agree, it is very therapeutic. I even went out and bought another one because this one will be done soon.
> Sometimes I write in it every day, maybe even several times a day, depending on how I'm feeling. I might skip a day but for the most part it helps me.


 I wish I had started sooner, it's very confusing to try and remember all the "crap" that's happened and how exactly I got here.....



> staircase
> I have kept a journal for years. I have stacks of them. It really helps me work through things. You can be as selfish and rude as you want in your journal. For me, I really like saying whatever I want and no one will ever know.


True....you can say anything and don't have to worry about hurting someone's feelings or them being offended....of course, unless they were to get ahold of it!



> sadand
> i started writing all the things I would be talking to my H about at the end of the day, I don't want to miss important thoughts, in case, some day, I get to share it with him


Sounds like me....gotta get them to talk before you can share



> staircase
> You know, even if you don't get to tell him sometimes it helps to write it that way anyway-like to just get it out and maybe the urge to contact won't be as strong?
> 
> I debate leaving my journals for my son. I don't think anyone should ever read them, though :/





> DelinquentGurl
> 
> My journal is for me, I won't share it with anyone else.
> 
> ...


I tell ya what, if I say all I REALLY wanna say, I don't think anyone would want to read it! I've got some stuff I've been holding in and even the pages might hurt!



> CarrieAnn
> I journal in a Word document with a password. I "back up" the document to my email account periodically.Great idea
> 
> Journaling has been great for me to think things through. I started journaling in notebooks when I got pregnant for the first time in 1996. By 2002 when my marriage was getting rocky, I switched to the Word document to protect my privacy.
> ...


 This is exactly why I wish I had started sooner....a very good girlfriend of mine told me to start writing stuff down, she divorced and re-married. She's happy but said any marriage can be saved. She looks back w/regret. Of course our situations are different, but it takes two to make a relationship work - I'm all worked out!



> DelinquentGurl Mine had the same themes also.
> And it usually said something along the lines that I want to change my life.
> Well, this is the first time I am actually doing it.


Good for you! I'm right there with you! :smthumbup:


Thanks for all your imput! Now, I need to decide if I want to get one that locks! Do they make a "grown-up" journal that locks I wonder? I keep thinking about the ones I kept as a teenager lol


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

JustAGirl said:


> True....you can say anything and don't have to worry about hurting someone's feelings or them being offended....of course, unless they were to get ahold of it!


If you go snooping you deserve what you find!


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

staircase said:


> If you go snooping you deserve what you find!


LOVE THAT! :smthumbup:

*although, I will need to keep it from my son, he will learn on his own what a *(&*&%^%(& his Dad is!*
Oppps.....I'm not writing in my journal yet! DUH!


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

staircase said:


> DG that is excellent! I really enjoy your posts. You really are moving forward and it's inspirational to me.


Thanks staircase. Some days are definitely better than others. It's a lot of 2 steps forward and 3 steps back it seems.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

JustAGirl said:


> Do they make a "grown-up" journal that locks I wonder?


I'm really not sure. You can find journals for as cheap as $10 or as expensive as $30, it just depends on what your looking for.
Mine doesn't lock, but I don't worry about my kids reading them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

DelinquentGurl said:


> I'm really not sure. You can find journals for as cheap as $10 or as expensive as $30, it just depends on what your looking for.
> Mine doesn't lock, but I don't worry about my kids reading them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks! I guess I won't worry about a lock, I'm sure a few lines and my 9 year old would be like, "Oh NO.....I'm actually reading and it's summer break!" lol


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## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

i have a fireproof safe in my house where I keep important documents.. money and other just in case stuff. Its a combonation lock so thats where I put my journal.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

I have one of those but I'll have to wait to get back into my house lol
That's gonna be a whole NEW thread!


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