# A little experiement on display of dominance



## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

I just posted on my facebook page...
* guys...be dominant in the bedroom, and be assertive outside it...trust me on this ;-)*

This is what I wrote on that "What are you doing now" thingy...

I am a recovering...notoriously nice guy that pretty much rarely gets responses on my facebook page from "girls" I know.

I'm up to 2 women now commenting back positively, and 2 thumbs up. One of them said "Ahmen Andre!!" another one saying how she doesnt like weak men yadda yadda and agreeing. Two more people gave me thumbs up. Interesting...sure if not all women were hard wired for this (even if they were, suppose they fight it with thinking which is my point), I like the odds a lot better in terms of those that realize they like this as opposed to those claiming they like the passive male, which was me...my entire life.

Lets see how deep the rabbit hole goes.....shall we brothers? 

Oh and Liam Neeson was the big bad handsome villain in Batman Begins LOLOLOLOL :rofl:


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

So how is your experiment going?


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I could have told you that would get LOTS of approval. Next, try this as your status: "Guys, now dominate your wife outside the bedroom!"

I would love to hear what your female friends think of that!

And when on EARTH has any person ever said they like someone passive?


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

BigBad: I got one more thumbs up from a guy and that was it. I have 80 friends on facebook but I'd say only 4-5 of them I have seen in the last 1 year. THey are all college buddies for the most part.

But one of them I think is turning into a date, didn't expect that one coming, only thing is....she's not my type. 

The other dude that gave me a thumbs up, we just hung out last night. I haven't seen him in 8 months!


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## Alexandra (Jan 9, 2010)

Interesting experiment. I'm not sure I'd give a guy on FB the thumbs up for this one unless I knew his backstory, but hey, I'm not a FB guru.

The fact that you got a date out of it is the MOST interesting! Let us know (I know, I know, I'm storming the men's clubhouse again) how it goes. I'd like to see if she's up for testing your dedication to your stated theory !


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

At this point I just need to ask....would it be cruel if I did it just for an experiment?...she's not ugly or anything but I'm afraid to date those I'm not attracted to...


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

Ah great. I ****ed it up. I told her I was scared of something in chat. ZAP goes the attraction! **ZAP!** there it goes in the wind. lol


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## Meriter (Nov 10, 2009)

Andre2000 said:


> I just posted on my facebook page...
> * guys...be dominant in the bedroom, and be assertive outside it...trust me on this ;-)*
> 
> This is what I wrote on that "What are you doing now" thingy...
> ...


:iagree:
passive male here too and marriage suffering now because of it. Someone told me to read the book "No More Mr Nice Guy' by a dr. glover I believe.

I always thought I was being a sweet gentleman. Now I need to figure out how to stop.


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

I have that book....never finished it though.


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

@sisters and @stars

There's overt and covert dominance. Only those women that are aware of their need to be submissive to a man of their choice take kindly to overtness (which is talking about it like this). The rest of you need it to be just done instead of talked about beforehand, and if you have a problem with following men, then I'm willing to bet a nice chunk of money that you are miserable sexually. You are sexually frustrated, and your womanly needs become twisted by your un-natural logic but you don't understand why....until one day, after failed relationship(s) you realize what it is you need from a man.

I've dated a few older women that came from a world of dominating their men (either by forcing men to be submissive or because they had to since their men were submissive already), and after years of sexual frustration and misery, a few full blown lesbian relationships that turned out to not work and be just as bad as with being with submissive men, they discover what they need as a woman and finally seek it out. These are the kind of women I can be overt regarding dominance, and boy is it fun.


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## peacefully (Nov 13, 2009)

IMHO, if you are *trying* to be anything that you are not, you will eventually fail. If you are trying to be passive, or trying to be nice to please someone- they will either sniff you out and not trust you because you are not being yourself, or your real personality will show through, and they will feel duped.
The same goes for trying to be aggressive or assertive, if it is not your nature. If you try to be something other than yourself, it will never work long term.
I suggest trying to balance the two.
Be assertive (which comes with practice and self esteem) and also express your feelings when it's appropriate. 
Do you want to be with a woman who doesn't care or respect your feelings and emotions? Do you want to have to hide your feelings and emotions from the woman you are intimate with?! A real loving and dynamic relationship must involve being emotionally honest with each other.
Personally I find men who can express their feelings very attractive- which doesn't mean that I like the "Mr. Nice Guy" I just want to find someone who can balance both- not agree with me all of the time, but be capable of being sensitive- which I believe that most men are- but for some reason or another they think they need to be otherwise.
Also, IMO- do not date someone if you are not attracted or interested in them. It is cruel. You don't want someone doing that to you, so don't do it to them. Women are not play things and we aren't here to experiment on.


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## Andre2000 (Jul 2, 2009)

Well, I'd rephrase that last sentence to "People are not play things", not just women 

And we can open a whole philosophical debate on what defines YOU as being something or another.

A very wise man once said 
"You are what you think you are" -Buddha

another wise man...err...alien...once said
"You are what you do" -Yoda

This is an entirely different can of worms that I don't care to get into, but I will say this, if you are unhappy in your sexual relations....you might want to listen up. No one is making anyone do anything here. 

Just like IF you are obese and sweat and pant at just the thought of doing any form of physical movement, and become depressed regarding your size, your appearance and your physical capabilities...you might also want to do something, and that something pretty much involves the same things, but no one is forcing you. You are what you are I guess....


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## peacefully (Nov 13, 2009)

This is true, people are not play things. 

So, why are you "experimenting" in this way?
Also:


> Ah great. I ****ed it up. I told her I was scared of something in chat. ZAP goes the attraction! **ZAP!** there it goes in the wind. lol


Does this mean that you shouldn't express your feelings to women?

To be clear, I am not disagreeing with you- women ARE attracted to more dominant men. What I am saying is, do it because that's who you are. Don't try to put on a facade.
If someone is obese and they work to make positive changes and to get healthy, that's great. And, it's quite different than wearing a girdle....


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

A woman with good self-esteem does not find a dominant--or passive-man sexually attractive. You are making the assumption that none of us have ever tried it, and you are wrong. Most of us have tried all different types of relationships and we know what we want. When we were insecure, a dominant man appealed to us--temporarily. When our self-esteem developed, the dominant man could not adapt b/c he needed control to feel secure (because essentially, he was insecure too). Men and women who grow and change together will find happiness. And maybe if two people choose not to grow and change, they can find happiness. But if one changes and the other doesn't, then the relationship will suffer. 

You are also making assumptions that we are sexually frustrated. Sorry, wrong again, at least as far as this one person goes. I'll let other women speak for themselves.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Andre2000 said:


> Ah great. I ****ed it up. I told her I was scared of something in chat. ZAP goes the attraction! **ZAP!** there it goes in the wind. lol


You are screwing up the timing a little. You express strenght/dominance/higher value in the opening phase. You can reveal some weakness during the comfort building phase and express your own attraction to her - as a mutual attraction - then as well. Generally you should be saving this after you've bounced to a second location and physically isolated her with you in an itimate conversation.

If you express weakness of any sort in the opening, you will often get shot down near instantly.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

First, these comments about not being something you are not, in regards to a man behaving in the dominant fashion.

On the surface this is truth, as to masquarade in presenting one thing, and being another, is deceptive.

But in the conversation of dominance contrasted to the "nice guy", I am firmly believing most natural dominance is already falsely covered up by insidious political correct teaching over many years when boys grow to men, being told to always mask their masculinity, and instead act more like a woman.

If a "nice guy" is feeling resentment to a woman, or sexually frustrated, or resorting to pornagraphy to live out a "fantasy" of what he wants to, deep down, experience, then this is telling the tale. 

There is a dominant man hidden inside, behind this mask of "nice guy". 

He is reaping a bitter harvest of resentment and confusion, because of the deceptive seeds sown early on, these seeds full of lies.

These seeds full of lies are such things as this, that a man needs to be more like a woman, and a woman needs to be more like a man, and a "nice guy" is expected to follow a woman, and appease a woman, and a man can only be happy and successful when a woman "lets him", and a man is merely a bumbling idiot that cannot make decisions.

And that any man that doesn't swallow these lies hook, line, and sinker is a "caveman" or a "control freak".

But then in all this confusion are still many good men, who will let the mud settle and allow the water to become clear, to study the cause and effect of relations between a man and a woman, and see simply this:

Actions speak louder than words.

These things of dominance and submission, is just this.

Whether a woman is attracted to a dominant man or not, is not even to debate with words. 

What a woman to do to show submission, which is simply this, to give her most treasured and most valuable gift to a man that she has deemed worthy to receive it.



And on the topic of dating, and of using people.

I am resolved not to share or contribute any advice to these "pick up artist" and others, as for the most part they are not valuing the woman in any respectful way, instead trying to increase numbers of woman they are having sexual intercourse with.

This is disrespectful to the woman, and shows that such a man is not knowing even himself what is the depth and height of the emotional and sexual happiness that is possible to explore deeply, over time, even with just one woman. So in this he is disrespecting himself, and this is not beneficial.

So to these things, of dominance and how to "attract" a woman, for use to repair broken marriages and relationships, it is most beneficial, for especially in marriage, a good man and woman have already shown in action, not words, a commitment to each other to sacrifice themselves as individuals, in the faith that together they can become something greater than themselves.

This is the happily married couple.

And to this end, I consider it most beneficial to share these facts and observations about what works, and what does not work, in matters of sexual and emotional attraction between a good man and woman.


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