# I Want a boob job but H is against it....



## Snowflake81 (Jun 29, 2015)

I am an a cup and want fuller boobs. Nothing ridiculously huge for my body. It would help me feel more womanly and make me happier about my body image and esteem. My husband hates everything about a boob job. I don't know what to think. I wish he would be supportive and understanding but he says he hates it no matter what: the cost, the judgements from other people, the message it sends to the kids and that he would be completely turned off by them. Honestly even after hearing him out I still stand by how I feel. I spend most of my time taking care of our family. I don't do things for myself that often. I'm a hard worker and have busted my ass for years. This would really help me feel better. Not to mention H doesn't exactly have a good track record when it comes to saying things about my looks that puts me down. He acknowledges that and have apologized. I don't feel bad at all for wanting this. Just wondering if any other couples have worked through this situation?


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Rather than getting them now to attract another man so you can dump your husband for another dude, you could just dump your husband now and then use the child-support money to pay for your boob job.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

At the end of the day it is your body to do as you wish.


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

I had mine done twice. I lost about 30 lbs about 8 yrs ago, and as a result, breasts sagged a lot. I got a lift and implants both. I'm Fortunate, my hubby is pretty much supportive of anything I want to do. He thought they were great, I had them redone about 4 yrs later, because I wanted to be a little larger and more proportionate for my body type. I went to small first time. He wasn't as sure about me doing it again, money etc. but went along with it, cause I wanted to. Now, he's says it's best money we ever spent, lol :grin2:


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

I got mine done strictly for my own self image and for my hubby to enjoy, not to attract other men,he loves them.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Constable Odo said:


> Rather than getting them now to attract another man so you can dump your husband for another dude, you could just dump your husband now and then use the child-support money to pay for your boob job.


This was my experience as well. XW didnt get her boob job, left anyway, didnt get child support. Now she is looking for somebody else to pay for them. Money saved. Sorry to jump on the nay sayer bandwagon. Your perceptions have become your reality.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Recently there was a very long thread about tattoos. Many spouses said they'd lose attraction if their mate got them, and if they knew this and got them anyway, it would be a disrespectful act. 

Just curious if that remains true with boob jobs. 

My thoughts, it's your body. Do what you want. As long as you are paying for it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Snowflake81 said:


> I am an a cup and want fuller boobs. Nothing ridiculously huge for my body. It would help me feel more womanly and make me happier about my body image and esteem. My husband hates everything about a boob job. I don't know what to think. I wish he would be supportive and understanding but he says he hates it no matter what: the cost, the judgements from other people, the message it sends to the kids and that he would be completely turned off by them. Honestly even after hearing him out I still stand by how I feel. I spend most of my time taking care of our family. I don't do things for myself that often. I'm a hard worker and have busted my ass for years. This would really help me feel better. Not to mention H doesn't exactly have a good track record when it comes to saying things about my looks that puts me down. He acknowledges that and have apologized. I don't feel bad at all for wanting this. Just wondering if any other couples have worked through this situation?


Sorry, I'm with your husband on this one. I think it would be best to learn to love your body as it is. Keep in mind that with smaller breasts, they sag a lot less as you age, keeping you looking young.  I also have a small cup size, too, but I like them. I feel very feminine and have never wanted big boobs. 

If you are looking to feel more feminine there are other ways to do that beyond going under the knife, which has a lot of health risks. Get a new haircut, new make up, new clothes, a push up bra, lace/pretty lingerie. I don't think a boob job is a great idea.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

zillard said:


> Recently there was a very long thread about tattoos. Many spouses said they'd lose attraction if their mate got them, and if they knew this and got them anyway, it would be a disrespectful act.
> 
> Just curious if that remains true with boob jobs.
> 
> ...


This was exactly what I thought of. The number of people that were horrified at the idea of a tattoo on a woman makes me think your husband's view isn't that uncommon.

I'm like fitchick's husband. Whatever makes you feel good in your own skin--do it*.


*not meth.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

In my own personal life the anecdotal evidence is against it. Of the 5 women I know who have done it, 2 have cheated and 2 have left their husbands. The other, I have my suspicions about, but no word either way. 

In any case, I'm much more of an ass man than a boob man. I'd much MUCH prefer an A cup to a DD.

Oh, and I also agree that to do it when you know your husband won't like it is disrespectful.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It's your body, so ultimately your choice, as long as you have the money to pay for it. It's also your marriage, and you may put it at risk by proceeding if you wish. It will be his choice to accept that you've done it, or leave because of it. Neither of you is wrong - you just have different views and priorities. It sounds like there are other problems in your relationship, and they may get worse if not addressed first, whatever you ultimately decide.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

wrenn said:


> The reason cosmetic surgery is big business is because there are lots of people who take pride in their appearance and want to take advantage of modern medical technology to improve their appearance and self esteem.



It is not always an improvement.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

If you can afford to do it, and you want to do this for your own self esteem go for it. It is your body, and you have the right to do what will make you feel great about yourself. Educate yourself on the risks, and find a really good surgeon. Watch a few episodes of Botched if you want to see the risks of a bad surgeon.

Most of the men here will say getting a boob job=you are going to cheat. The statistics are the same for people who lose a lot of weight but if you came here saying you wanted to lose 75 pounds none of them would say stay fat. You can justify the weight issue by saying it is health, but most men aren't as attracted to their wives if they gain a ton of weight. There are plenty of threads here backing that up.

You should take your husbands feelings into consideration, but the final call is yours.


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## AlphaMale74 (Oct 15, 2014)

Just be prepared for guys to take notice and hit on you. If you and your hubby are fine with that, then go for it!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You have to weigh things out very carefully.

Yes it is your body and you have every right to alter it as you see fit. But you're not the only one involved in this decision. 

Your husband has told you straight up he loves you the way you are. He doesn't like larger breasts and he prefers your breasts the way they are now. He has told you he doesn't like fake breasts. To ignore his feelings is wrong, I think.

You and your H need to discuss this more until you both feel comfortable with the decision made.

I have implants and I'm very happy with them, as is my husband...who refused for many years. He refused not because he loved me the way I was, not because he preferred my smaller breasts to larger breasts, but because he didn't want to pay for them. To him, it was all about the money and nothing about liking me the way I was. Not once, in all the years I complained about my breasts and wanted implants did he ever say, I like you the way you are. Not Once! 

Then I got cancer and had surgeries that made my chest look even worse. Finally he couldn't refuse due to cost and I got my boobs done very nicely. I LOVE my breasts now and so does he. Now I know what he didn't say was that he DID like me the way I was but didn't like the way I felt about myself. My new enthusiasm for my body was something he enjoyed tremendously!

Have deep discussions with your husband and be open to the truth, that your feelings for your body might be something to work on.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Anonymous07 said:


> Sorry, I'm with your husband on this one. I think it would be best to learn to love your body as it is. Keep in mind that with smaller breasts, they sag a lot less as you age, keeping you looking young.  I also have a small cup size, too, but I like them. I feel very feminine and have never wanted big boobs.
> 
> If you are looking to feel more feminine there are other ways to do that beyond going under the knife, which has a lot of health risks. Get a new haircut, new make up, new clothes, a push up bra, lace/pretty lingerie. I don't think a boob job is a great idea.


I agree. I'll take small but real over big and fake any day. Small perky and natural, VERY HOT.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Can you bring your H to a consultation with you? Information is power. :smile2:


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

zillard said:


> My thoughts, it's your body. Do what you want. As long as you are paying for it.


Of course, ultimately, it's her body, and her choice.

She's also in a relationship with someone and her choices could affect that relationship. 

If the OP's post was "I'm skinny, I hate being skinny, so I want to gain 200 lbs" would anyone here be saying that is a good thing?

Either way, it is her choice. And its her husband's choice whether or not he is attracted to the "new" her.

Short of reconstructive surgery, it's been my anecdotal experience that most women who are not in the "public eye" (and thus have to maintain their 'image') get boob jobs because they are looking to attract another man.

This is different than someone losing a lot of weight, which contributes directly to health and live quality issues as they age.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I see no correlation between breast implants and cheating. I'm getting together with a friend tonight who did this, and she did not cheat, although she is divorced. Her husband wanted a divorce because he found out she masturbates, but her fake boobs were just fine for him. Also, cheating on her was fine for that devout Catholic.

I get wanting surgery to feel better about your body. I'd love a tummy tuck and might do it someday, not sure. I have no need for breast implants and wish mine had shrunk after breastfeeding like most women. Instead they stayed the same size.

Whether or not you should do this against your husband's wishes.....really tough decision. I'm inclined to say no even though I do not agree with him.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

WorkingOnMe said:


> In my own personal life the anecdotal evidence is against it. *Of the 5 women I know who have done it, 2 have cheated and 2 have left their husbands. The other, I have my suspicions about*, but no word either way.
> 
> In any case, *I'm much more of an ass man than a boob man. I'd much MUCH prefer an A cup to a DD*.
> 
> Oh, and I also agree that to do it when you know your husband won't like it is disrespectful.


That's what I've seen in real life as well. I'm sure OP's husband loves her body the way it is. That should help her feel desired but husband's desire doesn't do it for her any more. If she dug deep within herself she'd be honest with herself, It's other men's attention that she wants. 

If she gets the boob job, she'll get attention from thirsty guys who wouldn't care one bit about destroying a family. I'm sure it's exciting at first but go look at the carnage in the infidelity section.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I see no correlation between breast implants and cheating. I'm getting together with a friend tonight who did this, and she did not cheat, although she is divorced. *Her husband wanted a divorce because he found out she masturbates,* but her fake boobs were just fine for him. Also, cheating on her was fine for that devout Catholic.
> 
> I get wanting surgery to feel better about your body. I'd love a tummy tuck and might do it someday, not sure. I have no need for breast implants and wish mine had shrunk after breastfeeding like most women. Instead they stayed the same size.
> 
> Whether or not you should do this against your husband's wishes.....really tough decision. I'm inclined to say no even though I do not agree with him.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Getting boobs done does not transform an otherwise faithful spouse into a cheater. A cheater may choose to employ boobs to that end, but it's not a cause/effect situation.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Doing it certainly could cause ripples in the relationship. 

For me though, attraction is much more than physical. Of course physical attraction is a huge factor, but I wouldn't divorce over a tattoo, weight gain, nor new boobs. If you love the person, you'll deal with it. 

Now, if I didn't agree with it AND she expected me to pay for it... two separate issues. Easier for me to get over physical changes I'm not wild about than paying for them to happen.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Youngster (Sep 5, 2014)

Your body, your choice.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

I got mine before I met my H, but he absolutely loves them. For the record:

>I've never cheated on anyone. 
>I got them for ME. 
>I paid for them. 
>I was an exotic dancer off and on for 18 years and quit for good shortly after I got them, so it's definitely not attention seeking for me. 
>I am a 36D, but it fits my frame and although I attract men, they are not constantly "staring at my chest" (LOL on that one)
>I can buy clothes "off the shelf" instead of altering the cups on every blouse or piece of lingerie 

I'm sure there are other points but to the OP, Spend some time at implant info.com. It's been a while for me but they have REALLY great forums there that may be a little more helpful


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Unless I misunderstood the OP, her hubby loves her as she is physically. That's something we discuss a lot here, but from the other side: "why isn't my SO attracted to me as I am?"

Of course, your body, your choice. Just be conscious that he has a choice to disagree and dislike the new you. He's already made his feelings on the matter clear.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Oh and I forgot:

"I feel like a woman" 

Channeling Shania Twain


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

jsmart said:


> That's what I've seen in real life as well. I'm sure OP's husband loves her body the way it is. That should help her feel desired but husband's desire doesn't do it for her any more. If she dug deep within herself she'd be honest with herself, It's other men's attention that she wants.
> 
> If she gets the boob job, she'll get attention from thirsty guys who wouldn't care one bit about destroying a family. I'm sure it's exciting at first but go look at the carnage in the infidelity section.


Yup. This. Most succinct post ever. Mods might as well close this thread now. Perfect summation.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Certainly ONE possibility.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## antechomai (Oct 4, 2013)

I remember many years ago, my soon to be EX asked me for help because she had a chin implant. I'm driving her to her home and ask, "Why are you holding your arms like that?" "I had my b00bs done too."

I just shook my head internally, and said to myself "silly woman."

And then said to myself, "wait a minute, those are out of the joined assets and I paid half for them!" 

I got to pay half, for new boobs I never set eyes upon.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

antechomai said:


> I remember many years ago, my soon to be EX asked me for help because she had a chin implant. I'm driving her to her home and ask, "Why are you holding your arms like that?" "I had my b00bs done too."
> 
> I just shook my head internally, and said to myself "silly woman."
> 
> ...



Well that was just plain rude of your Ex! You should have asked for visitation>


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

But the first thing she said was:

"I am an a cup and want fuller boobs. Nothing ridiculously huge for my body. It would help me feel more womanly and make me happier about my body image and esteem."

It doesn't sound like she wants to look like Pam Anderson. And if it boosts her self esteem, then H gets to enjoy the company of a much happier & more confident W. 

Also, hubby could be saying "I like you just the way you are" to reassure her about her current body image. I think they should talk more about it. And the first on the short list would be researching breast augmentation from a-z?good and bad and from every angle.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Even if he's not thrilled with the idea, I'm sure he'll research them from every angle afterward.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

That's where my money would be...especially if she gets silicone. 

hehe


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Breast implants are one of the most common elective surgeries, it is beyond paranoia to say that all these women are doing it because they want to cheat.

OP it is your body but you are his wife, you guys need to find a middle ground here and really communicate on this issue. He sounds like a prize pr.ick with his past behaviour of putting you down and belittling you on your looks. Sounds like he is a bully that wants to keep you feeling bad about yourself. Get that stuff properly sorted first and then both of you can have a clearer discussion about the boob job.
Your husband wants it both ways, he wants to belittle you but he does not want you to improve yourself, that is a very controlling man. Get you both to counselling.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I guess some women just can't get enough of a good thing. :grin2:


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## Snowflake81 (Jun 29, 2015)

I doubt there's a correlation between implants and cheating. Personally my H and I are faithful and draw the line at cheating. We trust each other in that aspect. Honestly it's not even about getting attention. It might sound immature and irrational but as a women it's hard not to see other women and compare myself. I see fuller boobs and I think that looks good so why can't I have that too. It's that simple. I don't think men get it.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Those bigger chested women look at smaller perkier breasts and think why can't I have that too! Blonds want to be brunettes. Brunettes want to be blondes. They all want to be red heads, except the red heads of course. My wife has natural curls and wants straight hair. Her friends want her curls.

You're right, men just don't get it. What I do get is that happiness and satisfaction with oneself comes from within. Not from being something you're not or coveting what others have.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Snowflake81 said:


> I doubt there's a correlation between implants and cheating. Personally my H and I are faithful and draw the line at cheating. We trust each other in that aspect. Honestly it's not even about getting attention. It might sound immature and irrational but as a women it's hard not to see other women and compare myself. I see fuller boobs and I think that looks good so why can't I have that too. It's that simple. *I don't think men get it*.


Yes we do. We just can't even the score with surgery for the most part.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

morituri said:


> I guess some women just can't get enough of a good thing. :grin2:


I......can't stop looking....


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Personally I hate boob jobs. I think women almost always look best with what they were naturally born with. I was glad that even after one of her breasts was deformed by cancer surgery, my wife decided not have her breasts done. I hate the risk of unnecessary medical procedures. 

But, I would support my wife if she did want one. If it was important to HER then I would be happy for her. 

Your body, your choice.


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## NotEasy (Apr 19, 2015)

I sort of agree with your husbands opinion, but NOT with the way he seems to have expressed it.

Before our marriage my wife suggested she get breast enlargement. I was stunned, she was willing to go under a knife for me. We would look into it carefully if she really wanted to, but I worried about the long term. And in one of my best phrases "once you have a mouth full, what is the point of any more?". She didn't get implants. And she still looks great.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Those bigger chested women look at smaller perkier breasts and think why can't I have that too! Blonds want to be brunettes. Brunettes want to be blondes. They all want to be red heads, except the red heads of course. My wife has natural curls and wants straight hair. Her friends want her curls.
> 
> You're right, men just don't get it. *What I do get is that happiness and satisfaction with oneself comes from within.* Not from being something you're not or coveting what others have.


The bolded and underlined part needs to really be seen and read over and over again. You can do every cosmetic surgery under the sun, but if you don't learn to love your body emotionally/mentally, it won't matter. You may get breast implants and still not feel that feminine or good about yourself. It has to come from within you. I wasted many years not liking my body for the large scars I have and other "imperfections", until I learned to just accept and love my body as it is. I would never waste money on a boob job. I'm perfectly happy in my own skin and can rock my small B cups. 



intheory said:


> *Whenever possible*, don't get a foreign object permanently placed in your body.
> 
> Avoid general anesthesia (being "put out"), whenever possible. Reserve that risk for urgent health/life saving procedures.
> 
> ...


Completely agree. I honestly don't understand at all why anyone would purposefully put themselves through a painful surgery that is not medically necessary. Why? I'll never get it.


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## BBF (May 21, 2015)

My wife went the other way, but before I met her. She's 5'0" and was very endowed. How endowed? Her nickname in high school was "bosoms." She's now a B cup. She's an engineer and said that to be taken seriously by men AND WOMEN in her professional field she felt she had to have this body surgery. 

She's been left with huge scars physically. And no sensitivity in her breasts. I mean it's just like rubbing her arm, as far as eroticism goes. She doesn't understand why I might like to caress them to give her pleasure because she doesn't feel it. 

Looking back, the sexiest woman I've been with was a gymnast who was an A cup on a good day. She radiated confidence and would make men get a hard on with a single look. 

I'm sure you're not doing this because you want attention from men other than your hubby.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Yes we do. We just can't even the score with surgery for the most part.


I'm just fine in THAT department. But as the runt of the family I have always wanted to be taller. Can't do anything about that but I can increase the size of my chest with lots of time in the gym - something MANY men do, single, married, cheaters, and faithful.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Yes and it is interesting that the advice often given here to men is to improve themselves physically, get to the gym, change their bodies, clothes etc. But apparently if a woman wants to improve herself she is a cheater waiting to happen :scratchhead:


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## unblinded (May 27, 2015)

Holland said:


> Yes and it is interesting that the advice often given here to men is to improve themselves physically, get to the gym, change their bodies, clothes etc. But apparently if a woman wants to improve herself she is a cheater waiting to happen :scratchhead:


Yes


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Those bigger chested women look at smaller perkier breasts and think why can't I have that too! Blonds want to be brunettes. Brunettes want to be blondes. They all want to be red heads, except the red heads of course. My wife has natural curls and wants straight hair. Her friends want her curls.
> 
> You're right, men just don't get it. What I do get is that happiness and satisfaction with oneself comes from within. Not from being something you're not or coveting what others have.



Come on WOM are you really trying to sell this "be happy with who you are" line? We are women, grown up women! We know all about being happy with who we are.

Women who want to be blonde, generally make themselves blonde, same with straight hair or curly hair. We do this because we like to feel good about ourselves and we've been inducted into the ******* ave version of beauty by watching TV, by magazines, by other women and by men.

And when it comes to boobs, talk to any flat chested girl between the ages of 12-17 and you will hear "boys only like girls with big boobs. So the girls learn that if they want to consider themselves pretty enough, they should buy a wonder bra from Victoria secret and make those A cups look like D cups... And man oh man do we feel different in a wonder bra!

I've been blonde my whole life and happily so.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Yup.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Holland said:


> Yes and it is interesting that the advice often given here to men is to improve themselves physically, get to the gym, change their bodies, clothes etc. But apparently if a woman wants to improve herself she is a cheater waiting to happen :scratchhead:


It's the most ridiculous thing here! 

Flip it around, if your wife doesn't get a boob job does that mean she will never cheat?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Yup.



So eloquent


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> So eloquent



Yup.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Holland said:


> Yes and it is interesting that the advice often given here to men is to improve themselves physically, get to the gym, change their bodies, clothes etc. But apparently if a woman wants to improve herself she is a cheater waiting to happen :scratchhead:


I completely understand your point, but going to the gym, changing clothes, etc. is very different from going through cosmetic surgery. It's why I suggested that she get a new bra, change her hair, makeup, get new clothes, and so on to make herself feel more feminine. Paying thousands of dollars and risking her health to have slightly bigger breasts just does not make any sense to me. 

I live in an area where many women get cosmetic surgery and you can pretty much always tell, especially as the woman ages. You can see the implants, as the breasts don't look completely normal. I honestly find it a little sad.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

OP. I am in your Hs camp on this but have always complimented Mrs. Conan and been on her like a bum on a bottle of Jack.

That being said, we discussed it for years and I finally consented.

You need to take your husband's concerns very seriously and consider his point of view.

We did not go through with it for me but in spite of my desires.

It was totally for her and was supposed to help her self esteem and image.

Pros: She is more confident with me naked. She is more confident in public.
She can wear more outfits that require bigger breasts. 

Cons: I lost some attraction for her for a while. It took re-learning her body and making myself comfortable with the difference.
I don't enjoy using my mouth on her breasts anymore. They are too sensitive and less malleable.
She has trouble supporting my weight on top of her during intercourse. She has lost some of her athletic ability and will likely never recover it. She was in unbelievable shape before surgery and has never gotten back to that level.
The whole process hurt me emotionally and convinced me to never do it again. Seeing my wife, who I deeply cherish, examined like a piece of livestock hurt. The doctor was professional but he was examining my wife's body in a clinical fashion and I loved every inch of what he was scrutinizing.
Watching her recover in pain really pissed me off. That I had agreed to an unnecessary surgery.

Soon after the surgery she didn't think she was big enough and wanted another one. I threatened to leave her or get her mental help if she didn't drop it. She dropped it.


Take a lot of time with this and don't write off your Hs desires or concerns about this.

If I had it to do it again I wouldn't.

There are some benefits and not everyone is me. I adore my wife and love her body but understand about insecurity and a bad self image.

Respect your husband's point of view and try to continue the conversation.

I personally always liked the way my wife looked. I still do but she does look a bit like a playmate now.

Also. Explore your current boundaries and run scenarios through your mind. You will get more attention from men.

Many women do cheat because they were not prepared for the increase in male attention and aggressiveness.
Their old boundary system was inadequate for the increased assault on their integrity.

The huge ego boost and attention from men that were previously not an issue can, and does, often overcome a woman who is not prepared.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Anonymous07 said:


> I completely understand your point, but going to the gym, changing clothes, etc. is very different from going through cosmetic surgery. It's why I suggested that she get a new bra, change her hair, makeup, get new clothes, and so on to make herself feel more feminine. Paying thousands of dollars and risking her health to have slightly bigger breasts just does not make any sense to me.
> 
> I live in an area where many women get cosmetic surgery and you can pretty much always tell, especially as the woman ages. You can see the implants, as the breasts don't look completely normal. I honestly find it a little sad.


Yes I get all of that just pointing out the insanity and paranoia that abounds with this issue. If a woman wants to improve her body (not making any judgement call on how she does it) then she is going to cheat apparently. If a man does it then he is going to become more attractive to his wife. 

The OP has a husband that has been nasty to her in the past about her looks, doesn't seem like there is much support for her about that here, just accusations that she is a future cheater.


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> And when it comes to boobs, talk to any flat chested girl between the ages of 12-17 and you will hear "boys only like girls with big boobs. So the girls learn that if they want to consider themselves pretty enough, they should buy a wonder bra from Victoria secret and make those A cups look like D cups... so.



I'm glad this wasn't my experience growing up. I never learned that my attractiveness was related to the size of my breasts. That might have led to some big self image issues with my A cups. I was taught that my attractiveness was directly linked to my brain. 

I was always happy I had a small chest. They don't get in the way, they don't sag at almost 50 years old and I never had the issue of a man staring at my chest. Nothin there to see, so he's usually looking at my face.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Holland said:


> Yes and it is interesting that the advice often given here to men is to improve themselves physically, get to the gym, change their bodies, clothes etc. But apparently if a woman wants to improve herself she is a cheater waiting to happen :scratchhead:


You're going to compare putting in hard work at the gym to improve yourself naturally with getting plastic surgery? 

I would advise a woman to hit the gym as well if she was out of shape and feeling down about a wayward husband. Six months of hard work at a Pilates or Yoga studio will make most women look and feel sexier than going under the knife for some plastic


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Well for the earlier post about having to get new ones, that is simply not true. 10 years is just generally when the manufacturers warranty runs out. Mine are 15 years old and going strong. 

Also, many point out that they are obvious, but you have no idea how many women you don't notice because they picked the right size and found a great surgeon. I chose sub-muscular which was more painful and a longer recuperation but they look very natural & most people can't tell, including the fitting lady at the department store. 

Research & discussion.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I usually like "working with" my husband over issues. And when we discussed breast reconstruction, he agreed a cup size bigger would be nice. He also said not bigger than that. Which I agreed with as well.

OP, in your case, if you got the money and you're confident about the surgeon, since you're only going up a size from an A, I would just do it. One thing I learned from my failed marriage is that talking about something "all the time" is a worse anathema than just simply doing something and getting on with it.

As some will say, men will look at anything. I'm between a B and a C, and yes I get looks but I don't think it's solely because of my tits.

In cse you are curious about what happened with reconstruction, radiation ended up making my body reject the implant on the side where I had the mastectomy. The creative surgeons then took fat off my stomach and a vein got diverted up to my breast ( I think that's what they did). they also gave the healthy breast a lift. Now, that's worth getting.

It was a very invasive surgery and I was in the hospital for a week. Much longer than for the mastectomy. What's left is a scar across my front side below my navel. But I do have now 2 breasts roughly the same size. And that's what I'm sticking with.

Even though healthwise I could have lived without reconstruction, 2 years on I am satisfied with what I have. 

Just do it and get on with it.,


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> OP. I am in your Hs camp on this but have always complimented Mrs. Conan and been on her like a bum on a bottle of Jack.
> 
> That being said, we discussed it for years and I finally consented.
> 
> ...


The connection to cheating comes in the form of woman's responsive desire. All of sudden your wife is getting hit on from guys who would not give her a 2nd look before, which can have a destabilizing effect on the marriage.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Did you pay for her dental work too?


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I got mine done...ohhh about 4 years ago I guess now. I am a thin person, I had no boobs. What's different in my case is that my H also wanted me to get them. He says it's the "best money he's ever spent". Figures, heh.

Plenty of men here will say that you want them so you can grab another guy and run off into cheater's world with him *sigh*. I hear this all of the time in this forum. *sarcasm on* Some of the men here want their lady to look nice....unless they are married to them. Probably so they can say they aren't attracted anymore when they leave for a younger woman who has tits that still stand to attention (see what I did there guys? Sounds ridiculous right?! stop saying women will leave because of a boob job. It's as true as the statement above...)*sarcasm off* <~ Aimed at the men that auto jumped to the "omg OP is going to cheat!!!!!!!" wagon. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. It would happen with or without boobs though I can tell you that.

In the 4 years that I've had my new boobs, I've gotten minimal stares. No more than before I got them. No one has outright hit on me either. I make sure to not put myself in those situations. I didn't go obsessively large. I stayed a modest size. EVERY single person that I tell - had no idea I had fake boobs. I dress modestly. I barely show cleavage and don't even own a push up bra (those damn things are so uncomfortable how do women wear them?) I think the most cleavage that is shown on me is when I wear a tank top from target. Even then, I have a sports bra on that you can see if the shirt is tugged too low. 

I've never wanted to cheat on my H, not before my boobs and not after my boobs. My H on the other hand has cheated since I got boobs. So, should I start statistics that say that men are NEVER satisfied? No. He would have cheated anyway.

If someone is going to cheat, they will do it with a breast augmentation or not. It has to do with character...not your boobs.

OP, I would say do what you want with your body. However, you're not the only one in the relationship. There is a very real chance your H could no longer be attracted to you. If he very much against it, ask him specifically why. If his reasons are valid, you should reconsider and not push the issue. If he loves you the way you are, you should feel very lucky - not all of us have that.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

BBF said:


> Looking back, the sexiest woman I've been with was a gymnast who was an A cup on a good day. She radiated confidence and would make men get a hard on with a single look.


Over my many years, virtually every woman I have been involved with, even at the cursory initial dating level, has had some form of body-image hangup. Their ass is too fat. Their breasts are too small. Their breasts are too large. Their labia are too pouty. blah blah blah.

I've attempted to explain to each and every one of them, without success, that it doesn't matter... what makes a woman sexy is her *attitude*. This applies in all aspects of life, whether it merely be social interaction, or making love. Attitude is the key. You can have the best body on the planet, but if you have a ****ty attitude, you're a zero on my scale.




Holland said:


> Yes I get all of that just pointing out the insanity and paranoia that abounds with this issue. If a woman wants to improve her body (not making any judgement call on how she does it) then she is going to cheat apparently.


I think most posters make a clear distinction between improving oneself for health reasons (such as working out to lose weight, etc.) and purely cosmetic reasons.





NextTimeAround said:


> And when we discussed breast reconstruction


Again, I think most posters make a clear distinction between cosmetic surgery purely for emotional reasons and the situation you describe.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Who thinks most men start lifting purely for their health? 

#notthisguy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Gym membership salesmen don't lead with, "what's your cholesterol level, brah?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Of course for most people the goal isn't to attract teenage boys...:smile2:

Seriously I think men vary a lot in what they find attractive. Many are not interested in large breasts, though of course some are. 



Anon Pink said:


> snip
> And when it comes to boobs, talk to any flat chested girl between the ages of 12-17 and you will hear "boys only like girls with big boobs. So the girls learn that if they want to consider themselves pretty enough, they should buy a wonder bra from Victoria secret and make those A cups look like D cups... And man oh man do we feel different in a wonder bra!
> 
> I've been blonde my whole life and happily so.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Constable Odo said:


> Quote:
> Originally Posted by NextTimeAround
> And when we discussed breast reconstruction
> Again, I think most posters make a clear distinction between cosmetic surgery purely for emotional reasons and the situation you describe.
> ...



Still need to decide on what size do you want the set of breasts to be. Some do "trade up" after a mastectomy

And I have met a couple of women who got their breasts reduced as well.

or the remaining breast in any case.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

zillard said:


> Who thinks most men start lifting purely for their health?
> 
> #notthisguy
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know right? 

I do it for the sexual stamina -and the way big arms and thighs makes my wifes underwear fall off.

ETA -Same reason I run 25 miles a week....sure as hell isn't for my health


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## LonelyGuy69 (May 1, 2015)

I haven't read all the replies but there seems to be a split in what to do. My ex after having two kids and breastfeeding lost her breasts, she was a a cup to start with and after they sagged too. She would hide away and never let me see or touch them, and she did mention a few times about a boob job. So I got her the information and set up a consultation. We went and got all the info, and decided to go ahead. We met the surgeon and he asks lots of questions why it's being done, is the main one, if it's to make your body and yourself feel better then fine. If it's to flaunt to other guys then not so good. She only went up a few sizes, and feels better, can wear normal clothes, nothing revealing and she didn't flaunt it. And didn't tell everyone she had one. If your husband noes how you really feel then he should support you, take him to the consultation so he knows the process. And involve him in the size selection, if your just going up a few sizes he may be ok, if you go massive then he will worry. Yes it's your body but if after having it you flaunt it and make it obvious it will make your husbands concerns justified. Do it for you and him, not anyone else.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

I intend to take advantage of every pharmaceutical and surgical option there is in my quest to maintain my looks.

H doesn't like it....oh well. Perhaps he would be happier with an ugly, unhappy wife.

Lucky for me he supports me maintaining my appearance.

Funny that no one has pointed out that if the OP's H respected her, he would support something to help her feel better about herself.

That ships sails both ways....


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

coffee4me said:


> I'm glad this wasn't my experience growing up. I never learned that my attractiveness was related to the size of my breasts. That might have led to some big self image issues with my A cups. I was taught that my attractiveness was directly linked to my brain.
> 
> I was always happy I had a small chest. They don't get in the way, they don't sag at almost 50 years old and I never had the issue of a man staring at my chest. Nothin there to see, so he's usually looking at my face.



You are indeed very lucky! Since we are nearly the same age I'm shocked, pleasantly so, that during the late 70's early 80's you had this experience. The 80's was a time when materialism was at its height. 

How were you taught that your attractiveness was directly linked to your brain? What kind of messages did you get? You never liked a boy who preferred someone else? Your friends didn't experience this either? No one ever remarked about their flat chests in an unhappy way? 

While I heartily applaud the message that attractiveness is linked to intelligence it simply is not reality.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

LonelyinLove said:


> I intend to take advantage of every pharmaceutical and surgical option there is in my quest to maintain my looks.That would seem to be the logical choice...
> 
> H doesn't like it....oh well. Perhaps he would be happier with an ugly, unhappy wife. Doubtful -probably insecurity is the cause
> 
> ...


Unrepentant Cleavage Bullies

a group I can get behind


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Of course for most people the goal isn't to attract teenage boys...:smile2:
> 
> .



LOL



:surprise:


No no no no. Yuck!


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

MarriedDude said:


> Unrepentant Cleavage Bullies
> 
> a group I can get behind


You made me laugh out loud in the cube farm.... :grin2:


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

What do most people think When they see a man with obviously dyed hair or toupee? Yea, exactly. Yet woman are encouraged and expected to be FAKE. Boob jobs, hair dye, make up, high heels, and now lip injections. Women should be encouraged to be as natural as possible. Even though it's 2015 we're going in the opposite direction that will ensure that women will remain sexual objects.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

jsmart said:


> What do most people think When they see a man with obviously dyed hair or toupee? Yea, exactly. Yet woman are encouraged and expected to be FAKE. Boob jobs, hair dye, make up, high heels, and now lip injections. Women should be encouraged to be as natural as possible. *Even though it's 2015 we're going in the opposite direction that will ensure that women will remain sexual objects.*


A woman can be loved, cherished, respected, adored and still be a sexual object. 

I live with one. 

(The lip injections are a little freaky though)


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Of course for most people the goal isn't to attract teenage boys...:smile2:
> 
> .


 LOL...This past Sunday I was helping to serve communion at church and served this 13-15 something young man.

He handed me the tray and said "I like your...ah..mmm...shoes"....while looking me square in the boobs. I nearly laughed out loud at a very inappropriate moment. :wink2:


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

jsmart said:


> What do most people think When they see a man with obviously dyed hair or toupee? Yea, exactly. Yet woman are encouraged and expected to be FAKE. Boob jobs, hair dye, make up, high heels, and now lip injections. Women should be encouraged to be as natural as possible. Even though it's 2015 we're going in the opposite direction that will ensure that women will remain sexual objects.


I have dyed hair, pounds of makeup, high heels, fake tan, piercings and I fully intend to add to the list.

Just because it's natural, doesn't mean it's pretty.

Just think of a baboons butt.....


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Mrs. Conan had the process of putting the implants under the muscle tissue. They look fantastic and very real.

It will limit athletic performance however.

Just things to consider.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

jsmart said:


> Even though it's 2015 we're going in the opposite direction that will ensure that women will remain sexual objects.


Thank God for Spanx For Men, so I can be a sexual object too.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

I wrote something just for this thread:

Whereas the measure of a young women is beauty, the measure of an adult women is character.
-JungAdmirer


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Jung_admirer said:


> I wrote something just for this thread:
> 
> Whereas the measure of a young women is beauty, the measure of an adult women is character.
> -JungAdmirer


Why can't she have both?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Jung_admirer said:


> I wrote something just for this thread:
> 
> Whereas the measure of a young women is beauty, the measure of an adult women is character.
> -JungAdmirer


I must be shallow...

I prefer Hot adult women with good character


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MarriedDude said:


> I must be shallow...
> 
> I prefer Hot adult women with good character


My husband prefers hot adult women with naughty character!


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> My husband prefers hot adult women with naughty character!


To clarify- 

I assumed that naughty women are generally considered good. 

>


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MarriedDude said:


> To clarify-
> 
> I assumed that naughty women are generally considered good.
> 
> >


Yes indeed. And how does a good woman become a naughty woman? By being very pleased with how hot she is.

And we've come full circle.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

Jung_admirer said:


> Whereas the measure of a young women is beauty, the measure of an adult women is character.
> -JungAdmirer





lucy999 said:


> Why can't she have both?


No doubt she has both. What varies is the importance of each consideration as a person learns about who they are and what they stand for. For what does is matter what you have been given (beauty) compared to what you have worked for (character)?


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

He said "good" not "prudish"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Yes indeed. And how does a good woman become a naughty woman? By being very pleased with how hot she is.
> 
> And we've come full circle.


:allhail:


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Yes indeed. And how does a good woman become a naughty woman? By being very pleased with how hot she is.
> 
> And we've come full circle.


I see what you did there. 

Bravo


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> You are indeed very lucky! Since we are nearly the same age I'm shocked, pleasantly so, that during the late 70's early 80's you had this experience. The 80's was a time when materialism was at its height.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



AnonP, I get my views from my mother she is bit unusual and from another country. I avoided the trap of materialism because I grew up with her and practicality trumps materialism in her world. For instance a handbag serves a purpose the name on the handbag doesn't serve a purpose. 

The messages I got growing up were that I was attractive "as is" anything I did to myself like add holes, crazy hair color, tattoos, etc. would detract from my beauty so I believed that. As far as attractiveness being linked to the brain it's like this: The mind is the most powerful tool you have- use it. If you don't like something physical about your body change it if you can (like weight, hair length). If you don't like something that cannot be changed (without surgery) then it's your attitude that needs an adjustment not your body. 

I didn't have a lot of friends growing up we moved a lot so I've had only a few good fiends I don't recall chest size being important. I have liked a boy who liked someone else but I never thought it was because she had bigger boobs I always thought it was because I was too smart (read boring, nerdy). Crap now that I'm single again in my late 40's I still think that lol. It's not my looks it's my personality. Haha maybe I'm deluded but happily so  

Perhaps I get away with this mindset because I am complimented on my appearance even at my age, so it never occurs to me that if my boobs were BIGGER I'd be better looking and get more attention. I don't think I'd be comfortable or flattered by added attention to my boobs. Now if I'm getting complimented on my business savvy that makes my day!


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I have zero issues with breast implants. I love boobs no matter how they were formed. That said they are my thing and if I understood the op's opinion of her husband he likes small chested women. Probably what attracted him to her in the first place. Can't say I understand it myself but takes all types to make the world go round. Point being who is she getting them for. Herself obviously but why wouldn't he get a say and opinion in that. If anyone's spouse did something that they didn't find attractive No one here would be really happy with that so why is this different? Just because it's your right to do whatever with your own body doesn't mean you aren't married and with that comes some opinion and discussion with the other person. You can count on that causing problems down the road.

As for breast implants linked to infidelity it think it's more big picture that sudden and dramatic changes in behavior and appearance can often be signs of infidelity. But just because one gets breast implants doesn't mean they will cheat. I know a few who got them and never cheated on anyone.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> Funny that no one has pointed out that if the OP's H respected her, he would support something to help her feel better about herself.


But he does respect her...for who she is. Just not what she wants to become. 

Your husband supports your desires and that's essential for you. The OPs hubby does not support her, not out of disrespect imo, but out of respect for what he knows and loves in her, as she is. It's just an incompatibility in what each wants.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Snowflake81 said:


> I am an a cup and want fuller boobs. Nothing ridiculously huge for my body. It would help me feel more womanly and make me happier about my body image and esteem. My husband hates everything about a boob job. I don't know what to think. I wish he would be supportive and understanding but he says he hates it no matter what: the cost, the judgements from other people, the message it sends to the kids and that he would be completely turned off by them. Honestly even after hearing him out I still stand by how I feel. I spend most of my time taking care of our family. I don't do things for myself that often. I'm a hard worker and have busted my ass for years. This would really help me feel better. Not to mention H doesn't exactly have a good track record when it comes to saying things about my looks that puts me down. He acknowledges that and have apologized. I don't feel bad at all for wanting this. Just wondering if any other couples have worked through this situation?


Just like tattoos, I think it would be a mistake to do something like this if your husband is really against it. Yes, it's your body, but you are married and I think this type of things should be a joint decision. Just my opinion.

But given that your husband has put your looks down in the past, I wonder if he's really against boob jobs or if he actually 1) just doesn't want to spend the money or 2) Is jealous that more men will be attracted to you.

FWIW I was surprised to see what people said about so many women getting boob jobs then leaving their H's. I know a few women who have gotten them and haven't left or had affairs AFAIK.

Myself, I'm small chested but also slender and pretty small framed. I would love it if my chest was a little larger, and I have no problem with cosmetic surgery in general - I really want a face lift in a few years... but I am not interested in a boob job because the truth is, the norm is for women who aren't overweight to have small breasts. Yes there are some slender women with large breasts naturally, but the vast majority of slender women are small busted. 

I am resistant to the idea that I have to become something unnatural to be attractive.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Snowflake81 said:


> I am an a cup and want fuller boobs. Nothing ridiculously huge for my body. It would help me feel more womanly and make me happier about my body image and esteem. My husband hates everything about a boob job. I don't know what to think. I wish he would be supportive and understanding but he says he hates it no matter what: *the cost, the judgements from other people, the message it sends to the kids and that he would be completely turned off by them*. Honestly even after hearing him out I still stand by how I feel. I spend most of my time taking care of our family. I don't do things for myself that often. I'm a hard worker and have busted my ass for years. This would really help me feel better. Not to mention H doesn't exactly have a good track record when it comes to saying things about my looks that puts me down. He acknowledges that and have apologized. I don't feel bad at all for wanting this. Just wondering if any other couples have worked through this situation?


Cosmetic surgery is a personal decision that needs no justification. If this is truly something you want to do to improve your self-esteem, and you have the funding available, then by all means do it. However, I read your earlier thread and have to wonder if you're jumping into this decision too quickly following your husband's confession to being bi-sexual. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...-wants-separate-please-help.html#post13023786

What's the status of your relationship now? Is your H still asking for a separation? If so, why do you feel it's necessary to get his approval for this surgery?


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

In general, I don't like b-jobs, but I am not a woman so I cannot experience what women go through. In the US we live in a highly sexualized atmosphere. Even high school girls walk around with huge ones which makes me wonder whether they are real or just stuffed. My doc friend tells me that a lot of women/girls stuff their tops and hankies/paper fall out during medical examination. There may be peer pressure in high school these days to look "full". I think a petite woman with a C is the best. They should be slightly bigger that what it needs to be to get attention but not more. I have seen women with mammoth mammos and they look bad and cause men to openly stare. No D's or aboves.

JMO


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Ds can look like Cs depending on weight, height and chest circumference. There really is just more to it than that. A LOT...which is why I keep saying research.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Ds can look like Cs depending on weight, height and chest circumference. There really is just more to it than that. A LOT...which is why I keep saying research.


Right! 32D is MUCH different than a 40D.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Implantinfo.com is still an awesome site. I just took a trip down memory lane. Ha! My pre/post op med shots are still up after all these years. Nuttin' but nipples...HA! Crazy how long ago it was & how they have become a part of me. And now I remember the PAIN and also appreciate all over the huge (& definitely positive) difference it made in my life. 

Here's a direct link to the pre-op message board: http://www.implantinfo.com/discussions/index.aspx

Cheers!


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Haven't figured out how to edit my posts on my phone yet. Grrr 

That link is actually for all of their boards. There is a wealth of knowledge from medical to emotional.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Ds can look like Cs depending on weight, height and chest circumference. There really is just more to it than that. A LOT...which is why I keep saying research.


yeah, I agree. One (former) friend said that she wears a d cup. I didn't notice. But it didn't help that she needed to lose weight. Just a reminder that total package is important.

In any case, I highly recommend the breast lift. (and that was just an overnight stay at the hospital) I really like the shape of my healthy breast now.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

When it comes to breasts, I prefer to be against them whenever possible.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I do have to say, after seeing Gra ce J ones in concert, (she performs topless), even small boobies can sag.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

NextTimeAround said:


> I do have to say, after seeing Gra ce J ones in concert, (she performs topless), even small boobies can sag.


Yep...worked with a couple of older dancers that were very small but saggy. Actually, that was what made me make the final decision to go for it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Idyit (Mar 5, 2013)

Earlier in the thread boob jobs were compared to a man working out. Ie. to attract attention of the opposite sex. This doesn't seem equitable as working out for either sex most often falls under self improvement.

Would steroid use be a better analogous outside help?

....wife has perky A cups and I love her body. :grin2:

~ Passio


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

nirvana said:


> In general, I don't like b-jobs, but I am not a woman so I cannot experience what women go through. In the US we live in a highly sexualized atmosphere.* Even high school girls walk around with huge ones which makes me wonder whether they are real or just stuffed.* My doc friend tells me that a lot of women/girls stuff their tops and hankies/paper fall out during medical examination. There may be peer pressure in high school these days to look "full". I think a petite woman with a C is the best. They should be slightly bigger that what it needs to be to get attention but not more. I have seen women with mammoth mammos and they look bad and cause men to openly stare. No D's or aboves.
> 
> JMO


I recently saw one of those "people on the street" interviews of girls at spring break in bikinis. These girls appeared to be in their late teens, maybe early 20's and all but 1 had pretty big chests. They sure didn't grow 'em that way when I was a teen... I wondered if it's now the norm for 17 - 20 year olds to get breast augmentation.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

>>>
Elizabeth001 said:
Original post 
"Well for the earlier post about having to get new ones, that is simply not true. 10 years is just generally when the manufacturers warranty runs out. Mine are 15 years old and going strong." 


>>> In repeating the manufacturers warranty; I really don't think I should be accused of being untruthful.

You said:



intheory said:


> Every 10 years you will have to get the implants replaced. Another general anesthesia risk. Thousands and thousands of additional dollars.
> 
> fwiw


However I will play devils advocate and say you do have to have money set aside in case some rare accident or capsule contracture, scar revision, etc. happens because insurance will not cover it.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

My wife talked about cosmetic surgery in the past, so I have had some time to think it through. The question I ask her: Would you still have this cosmetic surgery if no one ever saw the results? i.e. Is this truly for you, or is it about contingent self-esteem via superficial response? If it's truly for her, no problem at all. I realize these questions are different for people in their 20's vs people in the 50's. On another thread I posted a URL to a British study that discusses female invisibility over the age of 50. As humans we need to be seen and heard in our environment. A woman or a man who no longer attracts admiring glances due to physical beauty face an environment that no longer responds to them in a manner that supported their identity. I think there are at least three choices: evolve, regress or ignore. I suggest cosmetic surgery is regressive.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Jung_admirer said:


> My wife talked about cosmetic surgery in the past, so I have had some time to think it through. The question I ask her: Would you still have this cosmetic surgery if no one ever saw the results? i.e. Is this truly for you, or is it about contingent self-esteem via superficial response? If it's truly for her, no problem at all. I realize these questions are different for people in their 20's vs people in the 50's. *On another thread I posted a URL to a British study that discusses female invisibility over the age of 50. *As humans we need to be seen and heard in our environment. A woman or a man who no longer attracts admiring glances due to physical beauty face an environment that no longer responds to them in a manner that supported their identity. I think there are at least three choices: evolve, regress or ignore. I suggest cosmetic surgery is regressive.


what's that url?


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> I recently saw one of those "people on the street" interviews of girls at spring break in bikinis. These girls appeared to be in their late teens, maybe early 20's and all but 1 had pretty big chests. They sure didn't grow 'em that way when I was a teen... I wondered if it's now the norm for 17 - 20 year olds to get breast augmentation.


Could be among many reasons.
Parents are both working so many kids are hooked onto fastfood with meat laced with Growth Hormones. So the boys grow muscular too early and girls grow breasts very early. When I was in school, 10th graders barely had anything up top. Nowadays when I drive to work and see younger kids at the bus stop, the girls look like women and walk around with their chests puffed out as if to say "booooyyyyss!!! look at what I got here!!". 

I am not sure whether they get implants at that age or not. That would be awful if they did. I read an article about a dad giving his daughters a boob job as a gift for turning 16. Ugh.

I wonder if the growth is also accelerated when kids have sex. I read that certain hormones are released and the body thinks it is time to be "grown up".


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

nirvana said:


> Could be among many reasons.
> Parents are both working so many kids are hooked onto fastfood with meat laced with Growth Hormones. So the boys grow muscular too early and girls grow breasts very early. When I was in school, 10th graders barely had anything up top. Nowadays when I drive to work and see younger kids at the bus stop, the girls look like women and walk around with their chests puffed out as if to say "booooyyyyss!!! look at what I got here!!".
> 
> I am not sure whether they get implants at that age or not. That would be awful if they did. I read an article about a dad giving his daughters a boob job as a gift for turning 16. Ugh.
> ...



People in general are getting heavier, but I see so many chunky and flat out overweight kids now. The average size is much larger than it used to be. Breasts are fatty tissue so the higher your body fat is the larger your breasts tend to be.

Plus hormones are stored in fat cells so that leads to early puberty. Add to that all of the hormones in everything from our food to our water, it is even in plastic products. I had a friend whose son became senstive to estrogen and started growing small breasts because of all the xenoestrogens in soy, soap, plastic products and tap water. As soon as they were removed from his diet he returned to normal.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

nirvana said:


> Could be among many reasons.
> Parents are both working so many kids are hooked onto fastfood with meat laced with Growth Hormones. So the boys grow muscular too early and girls grow breasts very early. When I was in school, 10th graders barely had anything up top. Nowadays when I drive to work and see younger kids at the bus stop, the girls look like women and walk around with their chests puffed out as if to say "booooyyyyss!!! look at what I got here!!".
> 
> I wonder if the growth is also accelerated when kids have sex. I read that certain hormones are released and the body thinks it is time to be "grown up".


That definitely could be. I have read many places that puberty is starting much earlier than it used to. I've read that there is a chemical in plastic that mimics estrogen and there are theories that all the soda and water from plastic bottles is feminizing boys and having the opposite effect on girls. 

Who knows, people do change - today's girls are taller than those from my generation too. These girls I saw on TV were slender overall with pretty voluptuous chests. They definitely did not look like those of the rubenesque period! 



nirvana said:


> I am not sure whether they get implants at that age or not. That would be awful if they did. I read an article about a dad giving his daughters a boob job as a gift for turning 16. Ugh.


So disturbing.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

kristin2349 said:


> People in general are getting heavier, but I see so many chunky and flat out overweight kids now. The average size is much larger than it used to be. Breasts are fatty tissue so the higher your body fat is the larger your breasts tend to be.


Yeah, I expect it with chunkier people. The "spring break" girls I saw on TV were slender though, but 90% of them looked like D cups. Full C at the very least. I'm thinking that happens naturally to slender women more like 25% of the time. 



kristin2349 said:


> Plus hormones are stored in fat cells so that leads to early puberty. Add to that all of the hormones in everything from our food to our water, it is even in plastic products. I had a friend whose son became senstive to estrogen and started growing small breasts because of all the xenoestrogens in soy, soap, plastic products and tap water. As soon as they were removed from his diet he returned to normal.


Very interesting about the hormones stored in fat. I did have a doctor say that fat produces estrogen - so overweight men can end up with estrogen dominance. I'd read about the plastic products. Think of all the bottled drinks kids down these days.

That is fascinating about your friend's son. He may be more sensitive than some but he probably wasn't exposed to that much more than average. These things are probably impacting most people on some scale.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I have always had a love/hate relationship with my boobs .

I am a natural 34-DD... I am 5'5", 125 lbs, they totally GET IN THE WAY when jogging.

But at age 49, they are pretty dam perky.
And my my SO loves them.

So I've made peace with the "girls"...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

intheory said:


> If my husband got super excited by me having breast implants, it would leave me cold.
> 
> "My husband is really getting off by squeezing two plastic sacs filled with silicone/saline solution/peanut oil, which have been surgically implanted in my chest wall".
> 
> ...


:iagree:

I don't like implants either and I am perfectly happy with my small breast. I'm a 34 B(sometimes C). I have no intention of ever getting cosmetic surgery. They may not look as great as they did pre-pregnancy and breastfeeding, but I'm happy and my husband loves my body as is. Even if he wanted me to get them done, I would still say no. I have never felt that bigger boobs equal "sexier" or "better". Sexy has to do with a state of mind.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Anonymous07 said:


> Sexy has to do with a state of mind.


:smthumbup:

Yup. This.

Wish more women would "get" it.

But then, cosmetic surgeons would be out of business.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

WorkingWife said:


> I recently saw one of those "people on the street" interviews of girls at spring break in bikinis. These girls appeared to be in their late teens, maybe early 20's and all but 1 had pretty big chests. They sure didn't grow 'em that way when I was a teen... I wondered if it's now the norm for 17 - 20 year olds to get breast augmentation.


As a mother of a 20 year old daughter, no, it's not the norm and I live in the land of plastic surgery. Some just have big [email protected]@bs, some don't. When I was her age it was the same.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I think its an excellent analogy. Working out has almost no down sides and many health upsides. A boob job or steroids come with real risks .



Idyit said:


> Earlier in the thread boob jobs were compared to a man working out. Ie. to attract attention of the opposite sex. This doesn't seem equitable as working out for either sex most often falls under self improvement.
> 
> Would steroid use be a better analogous outside help?
> 
> ...


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

WorkingWife said:


> I recently saw one of those "people on the street" interviews of girls at spring break in bikinis. These girls appeared to be in their late teens, maybe early 20's and all but 1 had pretty big chests. They sure didn't grow 'em that way when I was a teen... I wondered if it's now the norm for 17 - 20 year olds to get breast augmentation.


I understand that growth hormones and other drugs that livestock get fed find its way to the human body. In some places, girls are menstruating before the age of 10. and it also affects breast size.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

I see this a lot with African American girls in poorer parts of town. They don't have a balanced diet, they eat McDonalds and TacoBell for most part and seem to be bursting out of their tops in their early teens. Does not look normal. I bet it's the effective of hormone filled food they have everyday.


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## Snowflake81 (Jun 29, 2015)

Cosmetic surgery is a personal decision that needs no justification. If this is truly something you want to do to improve your self-esteem, and you have the funding available, then by all means do it. However, I read your earlier thread and have to wonder if you're jumping into this decision too quickly following your husband's confession to being bi-sexual. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...-wants-separate-please-help.html#post13023786

What's the status of your relationship now? Is your H still asking for a separation? If so, why do you feel it's necessary to get his approval for this surgery?[/QUOTE]

We have worked things out and although things are by no means "back to normal" we are in a somewhat calm state and getting along. Of course still have underlying marital issues that will take a lot of time to cope with but we both agree that we want to stay together and work on the relationship. We had a long talk about the boob job. I admitted that there were a couple incidents that really made me upset ie him complimenting Kate upton's boobs and once he wanted a "boobjob" during sex but my boobs are too small to achieve that and he kept telling me to push them together harder it just hurt me physically and emotionally. He apologized and it's fine. I've decided to pick my battles and get over wanting a boob job. Don't get me wrong if I had my way I would 100% for it but I've decided to respect H opinion and put the relationship first.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

Jung_admirer said:


> My wife talked about cosmetic surgery in the past, so I have had some time to think it through. The question I ask her: Would you still have this cosmetic surgery if no one ever saw the results? i.e. Is this truly for you, or is it about contingent self-esteem via superficial response? If it's truly for her, no problem at all. I realize these questions are different for people in their 20's vs people in the 50's. On another thread I posted a URL to a British study that discusses female invisibility over the age of 50. As humans we need to be seen and heard in our environment. A woman or a man who no longer attracts admiring glances due to physical beauty face an environment that no longer responds to them in a manner that supported their identity. I think there are at least three choices: evolve, regress or ignore. I suggest cosmetic surgery is regressive.





NextTimeAround said:


> what's that url?


Women's confidence plummets after 50, says new study | Daily Mail Online


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

Personally, if I had the money, I'd have everything lifted, tucked, whatever lol, I'm 54, and I feel that it's my body, my choice. That being said however, I don't know what I would do if my husband was absolutely against something I wanted to do. He's just always been, "whatever makes you happy, makes me happy." ?


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## fitchick1961 (May 5, 2015)

Also I had mine put under the muscle, was off work 2 weeks only. I work out 4 days a week, with weights, play volleyball. I was back at volleyball in 1 week. After the second set of implants, I was off 3 days only, and back to doing everything asap when my surgeon okayed it. It did not and has not affected my athleticism in any way. Age has done more to restrict that, lol. My surgeon said the fact that I was so fit, helped in recovering quickly. I would do it again in a minute, even if no one saw them but me and my husband, although he loves how I look no matter what. Love is blind, lol


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I can't wait until they perfect penis enlargement. If they do so in my lifetime, I'm gonna buy myself a 13" torpedo. 

It's gonna be fun to see all these guys walking around with a third leg bulging out of one side of their pants.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

fitchick1961 said:


> Personally, if I had the money, I'd have everything lifted, tucked, whatever lol, I'm 54, and I feel that it's my body, my choice. That being said however, I don't know what I would do if my husband was absolutely against something I wanted to do. He's just always been, "whatever makes you happy, makes me happy." ?


I am 48 and recently had facial threads done and some lipo, my money, my body  Mr H is not overly pro this sort of thing but he supported me through it because it was what I wanted. 
He has jokingly told me that I am not to have anything done to my boobs as he thinks they are perfect, I'm good with that for now but in the future I may consider fat transfer to help lift them when the time comes.

The thing with cosmetic procedures is that many Surgeons recommend they are done earlier, not later in life. I wish I had of done the lipo 10 years ago and had 10 extra years of enjoyment out of the results.

It is important to have at least one good support person after a procedure, Mr H was fantastic and did lots of extra driving the kids around, washing, cooking and taking care of me. For that reason alone I would be hesitant to get cosmetic surgery if a partner was against it, it can be hard to deal with recovery if you are on your own.


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## chris007 (Jul 15, 2015)

I dislike plastic surgery and all that other nonsense. The only time Id support it, is when a person has a real physical deformation of sorts, and has a surgery to normalize appearance. There is something really sexy about a woman who ages gracefully and accepts the fact that she will not remain young and sexy forever. In my opinion, many women have these surgeries done because they tend to believe that its for themselves, or so that they can feel more feminine or better about them selves, when in reality it is to cover up major self-image insecurities (which wont change permanently because of a surgery) or in order to receive attention from other men. I also believe that many aren't aware of these reasons, so I don't harshly judge them for it, just ask for a little self-reflection which will likely get them to these conclusions.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

chris007 said:


> I dislike plastic surgery and all that other nonsense. The only time Id support it, is when a person has a real physical deformation of sorts, and has a surgery to normalize appearance. There is something really sexy about a woman who ages gracefully and accepts the fact that she will not remain young and sexy forever. *In my opinion, many women have these surgeries done because they tend to believe that its for themselves, or so that they can feel more feminine or better about them selves, when in reality it is to cover up major self-image insecurities (which wont change permanently because of a surgery) or in order to receive attention from other men. * I also believe that many aren't aware of these reasons, so I don't harshly judge them for it, just ask for a little self-reflection which will likely get them to these conclusions.


And your credentials are? 

I'm all for people doing what they want to keep themselves looking the best they can. It is incredibly insecure to think that all these people (men and women both have cosmetic procedures) are doing it to get attention from random people on the street.

Exception is derma fillers and all those people that look like robots with no facial expression, that is not improving that is just fugly.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

Holland said:


> And your credentials are?
> 
> I'm all for people doing what they want to keep themselves *looking the best they can*. It is incredibly insecure to think that all these people (men and women both have cosmetic procedures) are doing it to get attention from random people on the street.
> 
> Exception is derma fillers and all those people that look like robots with no facial expression, that is not improving that is just fugly.


I am all for people striving to be the best version of themselves: Spiritually, Intellectually, Emotionally, Socially and Physically. For me, the physical part is eating and sleeping well, getting plenty of exercise, avoiding too much sun, and an annual physical. Would you agree people have elective cosmetic procedures to feel better about themselves? What if you knew at your core you are worthy of love and connection (B. Brown) despite any corrections one might make surgically?


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

My wife had the mommy makeover done several years ago...after 3 pregnancies, she was feeling really down about her self. She exercises regularly, but was feeling self conscious about sagging skin and other areas.

I have to say that it was the best psychotherapy money can buy. It truly improved her self image and self esteem. We were fortunate enough to have the money for it.

Her only regret is she didn't go bigger. She was always a A cup and went to a small C. She wishes she would have gone a large C or even D. She will probably get them re-done at about the 10 year mark. She states she will definitely go bigger - to the size that I recommended the first time. Guys may not know alot about the female body, but we do know boob size!!! 

Anyway, I supported her through the entire process - from the thought and decision process through the surgery and into recovery. We had small children at home, so we did hire a nanny for a month to help allow her time to recover better.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

fitchick1961 said:


> Also I had mine put under the muscle, was off work 2 weeks only. I work out 4 days a week, with weights, play volleyball. I was back at volleyball in 1 week. After the second set of implants, I was off 3 days only, and back to doing everything asap when my surgeon okayed it. It did not and has not affected my athleticism in any way. Age has done more to restrict that, lol. My surgeon said the fact that I was so fit, helped in recovering quickly. I would do it again in a minute, even if no one saw them but me and my husband, although he loves how I look no matter what. Love is blind, lol


I would argue that high levels of athleticism are affected.

Mrs. Conan was a highly competitive marathon runner and in better shape than most personal trainers. 

She would work out 6 days a week for around 4-5 hours of straight, non stop cardio.
Her performance was impacted.
She still works out 5 days a week and is in great shape but her top level hasn't been reached again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NotEasy (Apr 19, 2015)

chris007 said:


> I dislike plastic surgery and all that other nonsense. The only time Id support it, is when a person has a real physical deformation of sorts, and has a surgery to normalize appearance. There is something really sexy about a woman who ages gracefully and accepts the fact that she will not remain young *and sexy* forever. In my opinion, many women have these surgeries done because they tend to believe that its for themselves, or so that they can feel more feminine or better about them selves, when in reality it is to cover up major self-image insecurities (which wont change permanently because of a surgery) or in order to receive attention from other men. I also believe that many aren't aware of these reasons, so I don't harshly judge them for it, just ask for a little self-reflection which will likely get them to these conclusions.


Yes, Yes, YES! The only thing I would change is to take out the *"and sexy". *A woman can remain sexy as she ages, it is human. 

Also agree that this is just opinion. Most of my disagreement with it centers around what I guess is the persons reasons, and I do not really know what they are. So shouldn't judge harshly.

I also dislike the implied predjudice. People should not be judged on their looks. But I feel those undertaking plastic surgery are going through great pain and some risk in order to be judged on their looks.

We had a TV documentary recently about a man who was born with major facial disfigurement. Seeing some before photos I understood surgery for him. After many surgeries the doctors suggested another operation to move his eyes into the normal positions. There was a risk that he could end up blind. During a family discussion his brother said, "what is the point of him looking normal if he can't look in the mirror to see it", and with that he said no to further surgery. Sadly he still went through life with major obstacles. He married, but it seemed he could not accept that his wife could love him and ended up divorced. He still fears his daughter will one day decide she doesn't like him because of his looks.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Jung_admirer said:


> I am all for people striving to be the best version of themselves: Spiritually, Intellectually, Emotionally, Socially and Physically. For me, the physical part is eating and sleeping well, getting plenty of exercise, avoiding too much sun, and an annual physical. *Would you agree people have elective cosmetic procedures to feel better about themselves? What if you knew at your core you are worthy of love and connection (B. Brown) despite any corrections one might make surgically?*


Yes many people do it to feel better about themselves, there is nothing wrong with that. For me personally it has no connection to feelings of being worthy and loved, those things have always been in my life. 
I am sure some people do it for the wrong reasons, red flag would be if a partner asked someone to have a procedure or pointed out others that had a small nose, bigger boobs or whatever.

One thing I have had done is neck lipo, not because of any weight issues but bc I have always hated the shape of my neck, I did it for me, plain and simple. I also had the the facial threads done as a preventative thing, I will happily admit I enjoy looking younger than I am and I do all the other stuff, eat well, exercise, little sun exposure (living in Aussie this can be challenging), I have no issue at all with wanting to look as good as I can, not the 25 year old version of me but a very confident 48 year old version.

What does B.Brown mean?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I believe that physical appearance is destiny .... or at least partial destiny. We do react to the way a person looks .... both what they can choose and not choose. 

So to some degree I can understand why someone will find ways to enhance their look.


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## DoneWithHurting (Feb 4, 2015)

Wife is 55. Married for 30 years. 
Breasts have become like hanging pancakes after the kids and time have taken their toll.
She says its very uncomfortable and would like them lifted.
She is adamant it is not to look better or attract attention.
She says she doesn't want them bigger, just lifter (i have my doubts on this)

I am of the belief that boob jobs are mainly to look better and attract attention.
I support her feeling better physically but am worried that she will start showing them off with tighter, lower cut blouses which in turn will attract male attention (duh).

She is somewhat in the public eye so attention is always part of the game and as we all know, sex sells.
While I want her to be happy, I see potential problems from the surgery itself and then from her wanting to show them off. 

Thoughts?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

DoneWithHurting said:


> Wife is 55. Married for 30 years.
> Breasts have become like hanging pancakes after the kids and time have taken their toll.
> She says its very uncomfortable and would like them lifted.
> She is adamant it is not to look better or attract attention.
> ...


Her reasoning seems sound. Can't remember if I read anything about you. Do you have reasons not to trust her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NotEasy (Apr 19, 2015)

DoneWithHurting said:


> Wife is 55. Married for 30 years.
> Breasts have become like hanging pancakes after the kids and time have taken their toll.
> She says its very uncomfortable and would like them lifted.
> She is adamant it is not to look better or attract attention.
> ...


Like Conan says, we don't know your story, but given 30 years and no red flags mentioned I guess there are no red flags. 

So talk. Confirm she really just wants a lift. Talk through your opinions and concerns. Maybe make a deal, eg no low cut blouses except at home or on our dates. 

Also research together, eg what is the recovery time, pain, surgeons skill etc.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

DoneWithHurting said:


> Wife is 55. Married for 30 years.
> Breasts have become like hanging pancakes after the kids and time have taken their toll.
> She says its very uncomfortable and would like them lifted.
> She is adamant it is not to look better or attract attention.
> ...


What you are describing is something I would want corrected, for me,not to attract attention. Many of my friends that have had kids, want to get a breast lift or already have. If there isn't a lot of breast tissue there, most surgeons will recommend a reasonable implant for the best cosmetic outcome. 

Seriously having breasts that look like "hanging pancakes" sounds like a deformity, breasts aren't meant to look like that. If your parts flattened out I would think you'd want things corrected too.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

You, her H said, her boobs look like hanging pancakes...then you wonder why she wants a lift.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

Holland said:


> Yes many people do it to feel better about themselves, there is nothing wrong with that. *For me personally it has no connection to feelings of being worthy and loved, those things have always been in my life. *
> I am sure some people do it for the wrong reasons, red flag would be if a partner asked someone to have a procedure or pointed out others that had a small nose, bigger boobs or whatever.
> 
> One thing I have had done is neck lipo, not because of any weight issues but bc I have always hated the shape of my neck, I did it for me, plain and simple. I also had the the facial threads done as a preventative thing, *I will happily admit I enjoy looking younger than I am* and I do all the other stuff, eat well, exercise, little sun exposure (living in Aussie this can be challenging), I have no issue at all with wanting to look as good as I can, not the 25 year old version of me but a very confident 48 year old version.
> ...


I was paraphrasing Brene Brown, so it seemed right to credit her: 
Books by Brene Brown

I don't really think about right vs wrong reasons. Underlying all action/emotion, the prime mover is either love or fear. You said you hated the shape of your neck. Is self-loathing not based in fear? ... fear that we are not worthy.


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## franklinkeck (Aug 5, 2015)

It is sad I guess you must stay positive despite all these things, May be you weigh other options? My wife got a Plastic Surgery in Turkey, with the help of Placidway, a medical tourism company. We were referred by this company to Hisar Intercontinental Hospital which is a modern and highly specialized medical center. My wife did not have so much difficulties in undergoing the Surgery since the staff were so kind to us and made my wife comfortable.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Jung_admirer said:


> I was paraphrasing Brene Brown, so it seemed right to credit her:
> Books by Brene Brown
> 
> I don't really think about right vs wrong reasons. Underlying all action/emotion, the prime mover is either love or fear. *You said you hated the shape of your neck. Is self-loathing not based in fear? ... fear that we are not worthy*.


Not liking something about ourselves doesn't automatically mean self loathing and fear. I'm 48 I would have happily lived with the shape of my neck forever but I had the means to do something so I just did it, no underlying fear or self loathing. 
I am actually very confident within myself and have never had an issue getting male attention. I have a very happy, well balanced life so no I didn't do it for any other reason than I wanted to and I could afford it. Sometimes it really is that simple.


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## DoneWithHurting (Feb 4, 2015)

wife had her affair a very long time ago - dumb youth. we worked it through.
I always tell her how beautiful she is, how sexy and attractive she is. Never say anything but compliments to her.
"She" uses the term "pancakes".

I am not in favor of cutting one's body for anything but medical emergencies.
There are bras she can wear that keep her breasts from sagging against her body. 
I suppose it is fair of her wanting non clothing relief from that, but still, I wouldn't do it to myself.

I will hate any scaring. a huge turn off.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

DoneWithHurting said:


> While I want her to be happy, I see potential problems from the surgery itself and then from her wanting to show them off.
> 
> Thoughts?



You could always buy her a burka..... 

If my H ever had an issue with me wanting to look and feel my best, he would cease being my H.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

NotEasy said:


> We had a TV documentary recently about a man who was born with major facial disfigurement. Seeing some before photos I understood surgery for him. After many surgeries the doctors suggested another operation to move his eyes into the normal positions. There was a risk that he could end up blind. During a family discussion his brother said, "what is the point of him looking normal if he can't look in the mirror to see it", and with that he said no to further surgery. Sadly he still went through life with major obstacles. He married, but it seemed he could not accept that his wife could love him and ended up divorced. He still fears his daughter will one day decide she doesn't like him because of his looks.


That's so very sad and hard to read. I live with a malformation myself, although not on my face, and have never felt unworthy of love. I've been through many, many surgeries and have lost count of the number. They were all medically necessary though in my case. I would not go for an elective surgery, as the pain and risks are not worth it. I am happily married to my husband, who loves my body as it is. 



intheory said:


> ^^^ Lot of truth here. *If your H is all over your post-baby boobs, telling you how much he loves you and them; I wonder how many women would really feel the need to get implants/lifts.*
> 
> Being told you are saggy, limp, flat. Having your stretch marks commented on. Being advised to do certain types of exercise to make your boobs bigger/fuller. If your husband does that; then yes, it's going to make a woman feel miserable and insecure.
> 
> ...


:iagree: :iagree:

My boobs are definitely not what they used to be after pregnancy and nursing for 18 months, but I know my husband loves my body with all of my "imperfections". He has never said anything negative about my body, nor would I tolerate it if he did. I love my body as it is and have no desire to change it. I have stretch marks, huge scars, saggy breasts, and so on, but my body is amazing. It has grown a human being and fed him. It has survived a rare birth defect and allowed me to do so much. My breasts are not perfect, but they are good the way they are.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> You could always buy her a burka.....
> 
> *If my H ever had an issue with me wanting to look and feel my best, he would cease being my H*.


It seems like a no win with some people. Men often say here that they want their wives to be confident, well kept, sexy blah blah blah but women that do all these things are then picked apart and questioned about their motives.

I have 2 motives to keep looking as good as I can for my age, me and him, no one else.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

HI Snowflake
I know its your body and if you can pay for it and it makes you feel better why not. But i have to agree that big breast are not the sexiest part of a woman. Whats between her ears is the most important thing. yes i know i'm going against sterotype but i also dont care for Kim K either. But i'm smart enough to know that you will do what you want to do so Good Luck


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Holland said:


> It seems like a no win with some people. Men often say here that they want their wives to be confident, well kept, sexy blah blah blah but women that do all these things are then picked apart and questioned about their motives.
> 
> I have 2 motives to keep looking as good as I can for my age, me and him, no one else.


Can't speak for other men by I deeply cherish my wife and surgery isn't a walk in the park or necessary here.

I'm all for confidence but surgery is no joke. It isn't like working out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Can't speak for other men by I deeply cherish my wife and surgery isn't a walk in the park or necessary here.
> 
> I'm all for confidence but surgery is no joke. It isn't like working out.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I totally agree but if someone wants to do more invasive procedures for the right reasons, for themselves and do a lot of research first then they should be supported.

It is interesting though that men want sexy women but they seem oblivious as to just how common these procedures are. Many of the women they are looking at have had some sort of procedure. Many thousands of people (men and women) have this sort of thing done every year.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Holland said:


> I totally agree but if someone wants to do more invasive procedures for the right reasons, for themselves and do a lot of research first then they should be supported.
> 
> It is interesting though that men want sexy women but they seem oblivious as to just how common these procedures are. Many of the women they are looking at have had some sort of procedure. Many thousands of people (men and women) have this sort of thing done every year.


Don't know if you read my earlier post but Mrs. Conan had it done. It was very hard on me.

I don't worry about cheating from her but seeing the woman you love hurt for an unnecessary procedure is tough.

I'm not against it but it isn't to be taken lightly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I would think long and hard before having this surgery. As a woman who is a natural D or DD cup, I would absolutely LOVE to have smaller breasts.

I would kill to be able to wear a slinky top. I would love to be able to walk around bra less and not feel everything bouncing. And jogging or running? Ugh! I have to wear two sports bras in order to be able to jog/run. I am a size 4 or 6, and it's very hard to find button-up blouses that will actually button.

Just be absolutely sure it's what you want.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Don't know if you read my earlier post but Mrs. Conan had it done. It was very hard on me.
> 
> I don't worry about cheating from her but seeing the woman you love hurt for an unnecessary procedure is tough.
> 
> ...


Yes I did read your earlier posts about Mrs C and I appreciate that it would have been hard on you. Totally agree that it should not be taken lightly.

My input here is more about the double standard of some, it is OK to want sexy women but shout down the fact that many of them have had some sort of procedure. Putting women down, questioning their motives, calling the cheater card as soon as a woman wants a procedure. Not you CH but others.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> I would think long and hard before having this surgery. As a woman who is a natural D or DD cup, I would absolutely LOVE to have smaller breasts.
> 
> I would kill to be able to wear a slinky top. I would love to be able to walk around bra less and not feel everything bouncing. And jogging or running? Ugh! I have to wear two sports bras in order to be able to jog/run. I am a size 4 or 6, and it's very hard to find button-up blouses that will actually button.
> 
> ...


Lord help me, I am an Aus size 10 (US 6) with DD's. Jogging and me don't mix lol
Cycling and the gym are good but I would knock myself out jogging.

Kudos to those that can jog with big boobs.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

There are untold GALLONS of boobs represented in this thread! LOL! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

happy as a clam said:


> I would think long and hard before having this surgery. As a woman who is a natural D or DD cup, I would absolutely LOVE to have smaller breasts.
> 
> I would kill to be able to wear a slinky top. * I would love to be able to* *walk around bra less and not feel everything bouncing.* And jogging or running? Ugh! I have to wear two sports bras in order to be able to jog/run. I am a size 4 or 6, and it's very hard to find button-up blouses that will actually button.
> 
> ...


This makes me sad. :frown2: Who wants to live in a world with no jiggly boobies?


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Okay, now I cannot wait for the weekend to see my gf's boobies. She is a c, but I just want to nestle my head on them like natural pillows. Reasons why I avoid these threads, they get my blood going in the wrong direction imagining everything. Bouncing boobs,small cute petite boobs, and everything in between.

As for advice, if you have the means and it looks right on you, go for it.

I am sure men would not get penile implants if there were no complications. .


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