# Parties/Bars



## george1415 (Nov 9, 2009)

Hello everyone,

I just got married about a month ago and something bothers me.... and maybe it shouldnt? 

Growing up i never went to parties or bars, i'm not really a drinker, i will drink at weddings, but even then i dont drink much. I'm the quiet shy type of guy, always have been. My wife on the other hand is the opposite, she loves to talk and to get to know new people. My parents never drank when i was growing up

I dont know why but it bothers me evertime i hear that she is going out to a bar with her friends. She is not the person who goes to bars and gets drunk everyday (as far as i know), but some of her friends are that way. 

She is currently out of town for work, doing some sort of conference thing. Well i just found out that they had a frat type party last night, she said it was weird cause it is a older group of people (40s+). And that really bothers me. 

I know she wouldn't cheat on me, and i completely trust her, but for some reason it still bothers me. I dont really know what it is that bothers me, is it the drinking?? Because i'm not used to it? I dont know. 

Is this normal, or am i overreacting?

*edit*
Oh yeah... a few months ago we went to her cousins 21st birthday party which was at a bar and grill and i hated it. I think it was just the environment, not used to that sort of thing and she knew it and was miserable cause of it. I want her to have a good time, but i dont want to feel this way.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I am opposite of you and grew up in a bar enviroment as my parent was a single parent and liked to drink. Bars and their enviroment typically make me sick and I don't know why anyone would want to hang out at them for recreation. It says they have no creativity or interests other than to sit there, get drunk and act stupid, which is mostly what happens in that enviroment.
If she wants to have parties, there is no reason she can't do it at home, with no alcohol or little alcohol to entertain her family and friends.
I have been drug to bars all my childhood and I have seen what happens at them. I see no point of going to them, more so if they are nightclubs, where no food is served and people just go in to dance and pay for very overpriced drinks.
Just my feelings on the matter and if my spouse was into all that, I'd have to wonder about him.


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

Hey George. I've got a current thread going in the "coping with infidelity" section right now about married women (re: my wife) and clubbing. It's close you your problem, I think (I know that's not a section you want to see a thread in that's "close to yours"). See if it helps.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I think you two need to be on the same page regarding your marriage. You're newly married and this is the perfect time to get your lives settled together.

Your wife is a very social person, it sounds, so I don't think you should try to take that away from her. I do think you both should find a way to get into activities that you both can enjoy together.

My question would be how often is she going out with friends? Is she getting drunk? If so, is she driving?

I see how this could make you uncomfortable but communication is the cornerstone of a marriage. Talk to her about it.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

scarletblue said:


> Is she getting drunk? If so, is she driving?
> 
> .


An example of stupid bar behavior. These days when you drink and drive, you can get in serious and expensive trouble. You can even lose your right to work in certain professions. Not to mention the possibility of killing someone driving drunk, or killing yourself in one of those gruesome drunk driving accidents.

It's a high price in the name of fun.


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## george1415 (Nov 9, 2009)

Wow that other thread helped in a way and also scared me. I know she wouldn't have sex, don't think she would flirt or make out with anyone.

We haven't been together for that long (military reasons) but I have known her for like 8 years. Before we got together she liked to go out and get drunk, not really sure how often maybe every few weeks. She said it helped her cause she worked very hard (and I know she did/does) with school and work. She is no longer in school she graduated. Since we have been together she hasn't really gone out much. When she does its usually when I'm gone with the military.

She is a very social person and I don't want to take that away from her. I'm probably just over reacting
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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