# Seeing the 'ex'



## waroftheroses (Dec 30, 2011)

Well after nearly 18 months of not seeing my ex wife and after being married for 27 years (30 together) I had to meet her yesterday to sign off a number of joint accounts we still had running.

I was remarkably calm ....and I can't really put my finger on it or why but I appear to have crossed another bridge on my road to recovery and happiness...

She obviously dressed for the occasion..had new hair colour, nice make up, we made small talk and she smiled ......accept the smile was forced I new it and I'm sure she did too!!! Maybe it was my imagination but I truly swear I caught a glimpse of sadness when she thought I was not looking....

Its her birthday today....so I wished her best wishes before I left....I told her that I hope her new partner would give her a big surprise....*'probably not' *was the reply!!!!

I walked away not feeling anything.....and that makes me sad too....

G


----------



## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

"I walked away not feeling anything.....and that makes me sad too"

This may have made you sad -- but I focused on the "not feeling anything" -- that is a positive -- you have let go, detached and moved on -- and now if you haven't started yet to GAL to concentrate on YOU !!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

waroftheroses said:


> I walked away not feeling anything.....and that makes me sad too....


I think that is a good thing (not the feeling sad, but walking away feeling nothing). It means you have/are moving on. 

Kudos! :smthumbup:


----------



## waroftheroses (Dec 30, 2011)

Jelly and JH....
Thank you for yours words of encouragement....really appreciated x
I just want to clarify my expression of feeling 'sad' as I walked away after seeing my 'ex' for the 1st time in 18 months.

My life has turned full circle...soooooo happy in my new home...purchased a new motorbike ....got my finances back in shape ( I see Mori as started a thread ref pro's and con's of marriage and finances after a divorce certainly hit you over the head with a large 'reality hammer'!!!)

Anyway back on topic....I was sad because I could see 'she' is not truly happy....after 30 years with someone you instinctively gauge when they are being false / faking it.....I know its not MY problem any longer and I accept that....but neither do I wish her any 'ill'.....
I walked away thinking 'You fool....the best was yet to come' !!! And now.... I don't want you anymore.....

So....jelly...JH....Shoo....Mori....AR......Bandit, Lord M....I still lurk these boards, they have helped me more than words can express, especially those I have tagged above...

G.....x


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

War, I had a similar experience with my ex. He had reached out to me and asked me how I was and I told him I was doing well and etc. He would always make a point to say how "happy" I seemed and how "easy" it seems to have been for me. When I asked him how he was, he said he was "miserable" and not really ok. And I felt sad for him. But for the first time, it didn't pain me nor did I try to prop him up to make him feel better. I was no longer his cheerleader and that felt so weird but good.

With that said, I do wish him the best, no matter what.

Glad to see you are doing well and still lurking It's always nice to see people come back and post updates and where they are in their journey.


----------

