# Please,how do I get over this pain,ways to get my husband back?



## bluecupcake24 (Aug 17, 2013)

i can't do this. i need some advice from some one who has been through this. I'm freaking out, in such a panic. My husband of 5 years left me. He just says he doesn't love me any more. He's been gone at a friends for 3 weeks. i'm not coping well. I'm in such a severe depression i can't stand it. This pain is the worst i've ever felt in my life. It just makes me wanna die. All i can think about is finding the nearest bridge to jump off, or over dose, anything to make this pain go away. I got two young kids, so i know i need to be strong and try to keep it together. but its just so hard. I'm crying all the time. I can't eat anything. my body is starving itself. every time i try to eat something small i throw it up. I'm drinking a lot tho. I just want him back so bad. and I have to stop throwing myself at him. I keep asking him to reconsider and to think about it longer and telling him how much i love him. I tried to kiss him the other day. i'm acting so pathetic. How do i get this pain to stop please? Also if you have any personal experiences. Is there any possible way i could get him to change his mind. to have a change of heart? Even tho he says his mind is made up and he doesn't love me, its only been a few weeks since he left. what do you think. ?


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## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

How was your marriage before your husband left? Is there someone else he is seeing? You are right, throwing yourself at him is the worst thing you can do right now, and it won't work. Read up on the 180, be strong for your kids. Spend time with friends and family, get support from them. If you have a pastor, speak with him. Work on yourself, both physically and emotionally. What you need to do is counterintuitive to how you feel. The best chance you have for saving your marriage is to take care of yourself and your kids and showing your husband that you are strong. Don't cry or beg. Don't give your husband your time or energy right now. He does not respect you, because you are acting weak. You deserve to be treated better.


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## RoninJedi (Jun 22, 2013)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been in your shoes. 

Unfortunately, no one can change your husband's mind but him. Right now, you need to worry about you and your kids, in that order. Because I don't think I have to tell you that heavy drinking mixed with not eating has killed thousands of times over. That combined with your suicidal thoughts puts your kids in danger.

You need to get on the phone with a crisis hotline *tonight*. Tell them what you're going through and what it's making you feel. These people are trained to help in situations like this. For your kids' sake (not to mention your own), pick up the phone and let them do their job so your children don't lose their mother.

Are you in a church? I don't mean to sound - well - however this is going to sound, but it's easy to pray when you're already on your knees. Perhaps you should give it a try.

Regardless, get off this site and get on the phone with someone trained to help you. God bless.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I have been there. Twice with the same man.

Best thing you can do is NOTHING. Take care of you. Let him go. Let him live this life he thinks will be SOoooOOoooo much better  Don't contact, don't engage. Honestly. He doesn't love you (that's a lie, but ok), then let him know what life is like without you.

I didn't do that the first time. But this time, I did. He wants me back, now I'm not sure. It's been 9 months separated and I'm happy.


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