# Ladies, what makes you desire a man?



## sadatheart (Aug 9, 2010)

hey Ladies, I need some input from you all. 

what makes you desire a man? or more importantly, does love for a man make him "desireable" to you ?


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## Masha87 (Aug 5, 2010)

most important for me id say IS HOW HE TREATS ME. he may have a phd, lots of money, etc, but if he doesnt treat me right, with respect, id leave! id want a guy to surprise me with those little things that make a big difference, like bring me flowers from time to time, take me out, etc. other things: life goals, career, good friends and family relations, ambitious, and healthy. hope that helps. good luck!


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## writing2010 (Aug 5, 2010)

Interesting question...just the other day I had to take care of a friend, who is single, while she was sick. I thought to myself, I'm so lucky to have my husband! Even though he has his faults, I know he'll be there when I really need him to be. That made me want to go home and take him on the couch! So, yes, love for a man can make him more desirable. What makes him even more desirable, is his love for me.


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## AmorousWarrior (Jul 6, 2010)

My wife said that watching me interact with the kids is one of the things that makes me desirable. Just watching me be daddy.


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

My husband's job makes me hot. He's in management & its the only time I get to see his "stern take command" side. Other times he is the kind submissive kind of guy. It ultimately is a balanced man that makes me hot - the gentle, respectful and thoughful partner that pays attention to when I would like to feel his protection & passion for me in bed. The biggest turn-offs are lazy men that dont manscape, rude moody men with no humor and know-it-alls! hope thats helps
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AmorousWarrior (Jul 6, 2010)

lovelieswithin said:


> The biggest turn-offs are lazy men that dont *manscape*, rude moody men with no humor and know-it-alls! hope thats helps
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Grooming? :scratchhead:


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

It's a combination of things. His looks play a part, of course, but honestly, not a large part. My boyfriend would probably not typically be considered "hot" (he's a little overweight, and a few other little things), but I think he is. He knows how to kiss (and do other things in that department!), he shows me he loves and respects me, he loves my kids (that aren't his), he's a hardworker and tries so hard to provide everything for us, he's sensitive to my needs and feelings, and so much else. 

I do think love plays a part in finding him desirable, although I found my boyfriend desirable from the first time I saw him, but then again, we had already been talking for quite some time and gotten to know each other quite well, so I suppose I was probably already falling in love with him then. But yes, I think love plays a part.


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

Here, i made a list of my ideal mate (whom i'd obviously desire long term):
-Smart guy who doesn't go with the crowd just because 'they're cool'. Rather, he has his own set of wants, likes and principles that can't be easily influenced by whatever's trendy this year. 
-Good dad, kind and protective with his children. 
-Takes his job seriously and is passionate about it. 
-Knows that while it's nice to have a wife who cooks, cleans and does her nails on a daily basis, marriage isn't always bliss and he may have to occasionally wash the dishes.
-Is passionate about something. Some form of hobby or activity rather than sitting in the house all day watching football, drinking beer. If he does like footbal, trips outside so he can actually play football are good. Anything goes as far as he's not a couch potatoe/passive citizen
-Honest, and not scared of concealing things that could hurt if said.

Also i've noticed i'm highly attracted to a slight dose of arrogance in men. But just in men who have the necesary brain power and skills to pull it off. So far my husband's only failing on the couch potato part, mainly due to stress from work and financial worries. But i've always been attracted to him and i still consider him to be the best deal i ever made.

P.S - Love can make someone more desirable but my attraction to my husband has nothing to do with love. I could love him and not be attracted to him if i didn't like his personality/looks/behaviour.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

sadatheart said:


> hey Ladies, I need some input from you all.
> 
> what makes you desire a man? or more importantly, does love for a man make him "desireable" to you ?


Love and desire don't necessarily go hand in hand. While there are many things that might turn me on and many things that might turn off, I will simply answer to say that a man's love making makes me desire him. If he is a caring and considerate lover, then I will desire him because I want more and want to give more.


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## Denien (Aug 14, 2010)

Makes me feel good about myself
Shows love easily
Great Sense of humor
Honesty
Loyalty
Listens


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## Macsen (Aug 19, 2010)

Love can increase one's willingness to find someone desirable, but there's a limit to how many problems one is willing to overlook in a partner, even if you love him or her. For me, there are specific qualities that make a man desirable or not. 

Turn-ons: 
Intelligence and the ability to carry on a decent conversation. 
Emotional safety--I like to know that my enthusiasms, fears, and concerns can be communicated to him and that he will listen respectfully, even if he doesn't quite "get it."
Physical safety and respect for my personal boundaries
Kindness to others.
Reasonable physical cleanliness and adequate grooming.
Active participation in a game or hobby (something we can do together is nice, but he should also have something he likes to do that does not require my participation)
Willingness to go places together as a couple or as a family (nowhere fancy, heck, the grocery store or the park will do)
Patience with children.
Appreciates good cooking.
Enjoys making things, playing with power tools, and fixing stuff around the house-- or at least accepts and gladly tolerates my enthusiasm for the same.
Shows up and provides support or help in an emergency.
Understands that, while I love and adore him, I am by nature an introvert, and I really, truly, NEED a few minutes of time alone on occasion if I want to keep my head on straight.


Turn-offs:
Excessive negativity/self-aggrandizement at the expense of others.
Failure to respect personal boundaries (for instance, I LOATHE being tickled or pinched. I should only have to tell a man ONCE not to do this... of course, I've been telling my husband not to do this for ten years...)
Failure to value my abilities and my contributions to the workplace, household and family, and/or actively devaluing same.
Any sort of assault or battery.
Excessive use of bad language, including insulting epithets for others. 
Inability to use non-sexual touch. If the only time a man touches me is to grope me, he's likely to get on my nerves very quickly.
Expecting sex as a "thank you" for doing something he was supposed to do anyway.
Excessive supervising and monitoring of my activities.
Excessive use of recreational substances.
Use of pornography. 
Insulting my friends or family members.
Insulting HIS friends or family members.
Refusal to recognize that other people occasionally have stuff that goes wrong (accidents, illness, family problems) and therefore can't be at his constant beck and call.


On the purely physical side:
Excessive concern with appearance is a turn-off. I like cleanliness. I do not think men are supposed to shave body hair or use more skin care products than I do. And I can't stand cologne or scented body washes/lotions--they give me headaches and make me sneeze. Turn-ons: actually, I rather like men to be a bit on the heavy side and to look like they could change their own oil, chop firewood and use a nail gun, even if they have no idea how to do any of that stuff. Bonus points if they actually CAN.


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

The more he gives the more I want to give back. I am not overly romantic and don't find love in gifts but tenderness and expressions of love go a long way for me.

Simple things like stopping me in the day to hold me for a moment or just looking into my eyes and and letting me see the love in his eyes means a whole heck of allot.


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