# Moving out this month? What's your plan?



## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

After approx 3 months off same-house separation, it has become apparent to me that the time has come to move on.

Married 24 yrs, second marriage for both. We're older (Me: 59 Her: 52), all our kids are grown and have families of their own.

Neither of us are currently employed. We owned/operated a business together for over 21 years, and it is closed. We don't have any pension plans, 401K, etc. to worry about. We are both knowledgeable about our finances, etc. 

We do have a few properties we own: 
1) our home (7 years left on the mortgage). We put a substantial amount down on the initial purchase 8 yrs ago, but with the current market conditions and the home being non-conforming (it includes some acreage) I don't think we realistically have much "real-market" equity in it.
2) the commercial property where our business was located. Substantial outstanding mortgage, but I'd estimate 100K equity.
3) another commercial property: substantial mortgage, possibly no "real-market" equity 

Got some money in a joint account. 

She and I have discussed this, she wants me to move out, and even though I don't particularly want to (I have been trying to work on R, but she's not on board), I think it's time to move on, so we can both get on with our separate lives. 

Neither of us has filed for divorce at this time. I am going to consult an attorney this week to make sure there is no downside to my moving out, and if not, I want to be out within a week. According to the attorney's advice, I may go ahead and file.

What's your plan?

BTW - Happy Freakin New Year!


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## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

Sounds like you're not too emotional about it and have given the practical stuff some thought. STBX moved out yesterday. He's staying with family until I get him off the mortgage at the end of this month (he can't qualify for a loan with this one on his credit). We are past any R, after two years of talking and talking and MC and IC. 

We did the same-house separation thing for two months. It is awkward. We are pretty civil to each other, mostly because we have kids at home. It's hard to be nice, but not too nice, not fall into old communication patterns. I'm glad he didn't try to stick around until he had a place to live.

For the money stuff, we separated the bank accounts, I got my own health insurance, and we split the bills while living in the same house. Our incomes are nearly equal, so there was no legal reason for him to stay. I think the only downside is if one person walks away with all the money and leaves the other destitute. If you can be civil, divorce mediation is pretty cheap and easy.


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