# What did you do when you finally got an agreement



## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

So I was thinking about it today, our best chance at an agreement is most likely in the next week before we go to mediation and at mediation. After that, it will most likely get ugly and we will go to the court for an answer. So, in anticipation of a settlement, I went to the store today and bought a mini bottle of champagne for when I get notice that we have an agreement.

What did you do when you had an agreement?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I drank champagne too. But NOT a mini bottle 

We were able to settle at the eleventh hour during mediation. When my ex realized the attorney price tag of an actual trial, we quickly wrapped things up. Hopefully your STBX will realize she will likely get a worse deal if a judge has to settle it. 

I hope it goes well for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

I hope so, I went into the hospital for depression about a year and a half ago because I thought I was losing her. Turns out I was right and you know what, I am happy to see her gone. But what makes me so mad is that her lawyer implied last week that she was going to use my mental health issues to attempt to take my kids from me. I despise her. It will be a cause for celebration to have her out of my life. I know that because of the kids I cannot get her completely out of my life but I will take what I can get.

She wants to fight dirty, then I am willing to take a lose lose any day of the week.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Lawyers love using "mental" health issues and all part of the dance lawyers use to get under your skin. Its probably less her wanting to fight dirty than the lawyer pushing your buttons. 

This is one of the games lawyers play to drive fees. You get mad n dig in heels and do does your spouse. You need to grow thick skin during divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

honcho said:


> Lawyers love using "mental" health issues and all part of the dance lawyers use to get under your skin. Its probably less her wanting to fight dirty than the lawyer pushing your buttons.
> 
> This is one of the games lawyers play to drive fees. You get mad n dig in heels and do does your spouse. You need to grow thick skin during divorce.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Maybe, but if she- the ex not the lawyer- wants to allow her lawyer to try to get me to produce all my doctors records on me, then she- both of them- can kiss my @ss! I was hospitalized three times, twice before she told me she wanted a divorce and once a month after I moved out because I was losing her. They both have made the wrong decision because I have offered all assets to her, all debt to me, child support and alimony. I tried to make it quick so it hurt my children less. But if they do not like that offer then they have turned down the best they will get. I will go to mediation and tell him or her right there that it is a waste of time because I will not agree to anything that day and then get up and walk out.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

I'm NOT day defending your stbx but many times the lawyer doesn't ask permission first they just shoot there mouthes off. If the lawyer truly wants the stuff the can file an official discovery request with court, otherwise its just hot air.

If you have made that offer already and they refused by all mean go thru the mediation. You will get a better deal
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

Oh, they did file the discovery request. along with about 60 other things they wanted. And they avoided answering if they planned to use my mental state on their replies to my first interrogatories.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

If they requested that much info and still want to do mediation her lawyer probably feels its a hard sell in a court room. Mediation varies in each state but many times it's not binding and most issues can be taken care of. It also gives both sides an idea of what a judge would rule if it goes to court. 

You might get a one sided offer right before mediation and my guess a much more realistic right after mediation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

Well, no reply again today. Been a week. Took it off the table. Now I need to file a motion to compel for her failure to properly file mandatory affidavit. Then after that hearing, I will file a separate motion to compel for her not answering interrogatory questions. Found out the mental health questions she cannot legally ask as I did not attempt suicide and I have not argued mental health.

Yeah, a lot of her questions were about what documents I plan to introduce in court, wanting all PI records, wanting a complete list of all people being called to testify. And the biggie, wanting all my medical records.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Gonna Make It said:


> Well, no reply again today. Been a week. Took it off the table. Now I need to file a motion to compel for her failure to properly file mandatory affidavit. Then after that hearing, I will file a separate motion to compel for her not answering interrogatory questions. Found out the mental health questions she cannot legally ask as I did not attempt suicide and I have not argued mental health.
> 
> Yeah, a lot of her questions were about what documents I plan to introduce in court, wanting all PI records, wanting a complete list of all people being called to testify. And the biggie, wanting all my medical records.


My stbx lawyer sent me mountains of discovery nonsense and requests back in the beginning of my mess. Most of his requests didn't even exist. 

The key in all the motions or requests you want to do is having a judge who will back it up. Divorce judges are notorious for being all bark and no bite. My stbx still hasn't produced an actual financial statement for the court...it was only due 2 years ago.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Asking for med records is pretty common in custody disputes. Unless there is ongoing substance abuse or some actual physical disability (like you can't physically pick up an infant), its often not very persuasive. You were ill, you were treated, end of story.

Push for her failure to provide mandatory affidavit. That's the kind of thing that tic of judges. Every attorney knows its required and there is little excuse for not providing it.


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## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> Asking for med records is pretty common in custody disputes. Unless there is ongoing substance abuse or some actual physical disability (like you can't physically pick up an infant), its often not very persuasive. You were ill, you were treated, end of story.
> 
> Push for her failure to provide mandatory affidavit. That's the kind of thing that tic of judges. Every attorney knows its required and there is little excuse for not providing it.



No, I am ill and I am in treatment. Is is more about them airing dirty laundry. My Psy and Ther both agree I was codependent and that she was abusive. Why the crap do they want to go there?


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

They are either playing on your fears or they fear you will start playing the card against them and want to build a defense.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

no kids, a DIY divorce, $184... she wanted it so I made her pay for it

to celebrate I went out with a female I had chatted with from POF


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