# Don't know what to do



## allie10 (Feb 6, 2010)

I have been married for almost 9 years. We have two small children. I thought we were a happy couple. I need advice on how to confront him about his internet activity. First of all, yes I have been snooping and I know that is wrong. I have never snooped on him before, but there was an issue about 3 months ago. I got into his FB account and he has been talking to a woman that we both know. They flirt, and just talk about things in general. I am really hurt by this. I told him how hurt I was when I found out 3 month ago. He is still doing it. Not only have there been messages, he left the chat window open about three weeks ago. He had been talking to a female that he went to school with and he point blank asked her if they slept together one night when he was drunk at a high school party? Then he left a chat window open from the woman we both know. I saw the statement: if I wasn't married, I would be chasing her. He was talking about an old girlfriend. To say the least I am heartbroken. I haven't said a word because I was snooping, and I know that was wrong. But I am so hurt that it is controlling me. It is all I think about. Can someone give me some advice on how to confront him? Do I just point blank say" I have been snooping. What's so bad is I feel guilty because I feel like I have betrayed his trust because I snooped. I am glad I did because I think my marriage is almost done.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I snooped around on my H, but i never felt bad about it. I guess i felt like i had a right to know what was going on. 

When i confronted my H I didnt tell him what i knew, though. because i wanted to know everything. I sat him down and just told him that "i knew everything" and he could stop pretending. i told him when he was ready to talk about it that was fine. I also told him that i didnt judge him, that i wasnt angry, and that he would feel a lot better once he got this off his chest. I just wanted to talk about it. that was all a lie of course. i was furious and i could care less how he felt about it. i just wanted to know what was going on. He did tell me a lot, things that even my snooping didnt uncover. 

I dont know if that is the best approach, but that's how i handled it.


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## allie10 (Feb 6, 2010)

Thanks. I like that approach. I will let you know. Thanks again!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

NO! This is YOUR marriage. You have a RIGHT and a DUTY to snoop to make sure your marriage is protected.

Time to stop the affair.


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