# What’s next



## Emiaj24! (Sep 26, 2017)

Hi again everyone. I haven’t posted in a few months. I have been busy with counseling and work and moving on. My ex filed for divorce in November but I haven’t gotten anything else yet? I have him blocked on everything so he started getting a hold of me threw the guy I’m seeing. He constantly says how he wants me out of his life but hasn’t done anything other then file for divorce. He says I can have appliances and dogs but when it comes down to it I still have nothing. Every few months him and his girlfriend breaks up and then he would try and talk to me that’s the reason I blocked him cause as soon as she wants him back he just drops me again and I couldn’t take the back and forth. A part of me thought and wanted to try one more time to fix the marriage and I feel even now I would be to weak to walk away so having him blocked is the best. I am happy most the time. I’m getting back into riding horses and working out I’m even using a personal trainer I hangout with friends more then I ever have. The guy I’m seeing treats me better then I have ever be treated he’s also going threw a divorce so I think he understands. I still get sad and depressed and let my insecurities get the best of me. There are still days it’s hard to get out of bed or function. I guess I have a hard time letting 100 percent go. Also the future is so unknown I’m living in a house I bought with my ex that we we were renting out and even just the other day he posted my car that I pay for for sale. Would I feel better If I just got this over with? It’s so hard letting go of the person you used to love even though he’s not that person anymore. I just needed to rant a little as I’m having a rough day.


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## MZMEE (Apr 17, 2018)

The starting over is the hardest part but you don't do yourself any justice going back to him or anything attached to him. It's like going back to the starting line of a marathon. You'll never finish. So glad to hear you are moving forward with doing things for yourself. Allow your self to have the feelings but don't act upon them. Soon you will wake up and those feelings of attachment will be gone and you will fully move on with your life. Be careful with the new guy. You both are in the midst of a divorce so he may only be in your life as that temporary comfort (and you for him). Once the dust dies down..things could drastically change. 

Do either of you have lawyers for the divorce or are you doing it all yourself? If so, the lawyer should be moving the case along. If you are doing it yourself, usually the courts also have a process. Check with the courthouse and they can tell you where the case lies and what the next step is. It's horrible to be in limbo caught between married and divorce. Don't allow him to manipulate you and don't let your feelings make you forget why you are divorcing.

Good luck. I wish you the best on the other side. I've been there.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Often a spouse will ask for a divorce because they found a new lover. However there is a very big difference between the fun and games of an affair and a full time relationship where most of the the things you do are not sexual. Then things that never bothered you before since you were not living with your new lover, start to bother you. Now you care that the house is always dirty and the clothes never get washed. The jokes are not funny anymore and not everything they say is interesting. Too much time together and the lack of the taboo of cheating make sex less exciting now that it an be obtained at anytime.

Then the breakup happens and the cheating spouse tries to use his ex wife as his safety net. Some men and women will keep their spouse on the hook by hinting at getting back together when in reality they just want to see if their new relationship works out. Get a lawyer and have him push for a speedy divorce.


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