# Should I Spank Her



## Addled

I ask that only the ladies answer this question and please let me know if you are married.

My wife and I have had a wonderful and extremely intimate marriage for nearly 40 years. Many people have told us they're envious of our relationship.

About 6 months ago my wife said something to me with no intent to harm. I honestly think that if she had committed adultery it wouldn't have hurt as much. It emotionally destroyed me; so much so that I told her I didn't want to be around her. She kept apologizing and tried to hug me, but I told her not to touch me.

I literally would have bet my life that she would have never done anything to hurt me so much. She felt terrible and couldn't stop crying. I started sleeping in another bedroom. A few nights later she came to me crying and told me she no longer wanted to live because of what her comment did to me and said, "I ruined our marriage, you'll never have the same feelings for me, it will never be the same and it's all my fault."

I asked her why she said what she did and she told me she doesn't know, it was just spontaneous and certainly didn't intend to harm me. After about an hour discussion she came to the conclusion that it had to do with her insecurity regarding an issue she has. Once explained, I told her I understood and hugged her. Our relationship is now as strong as it ever was.

Here's my dilemma: We have played with the sex toys, etc., and also engage in sensual spanking of each other. Once in a while we will get carried away and administer a rather severe spanking. Not even close to blister-type severe, but she has cried a few times. We have a paddle made strictly for spanking which can be VERY painful in a stinging way.

Even though we're as close as ever after our discussion, I asked her if I wanted, could I give her 50 severe swats with the paddle. Even before I asked I knew she would say yes, which she did. I can tell you that 50 swats with this paddle would have her screaming and balling.

I didn't carry it out, but I still at times have the urge/desire to severely spank her 20 times. This paddle stings so acute that she would probably begin crying after about 6. (I have no doubt she would let me give her 100 swats if that's what it took to satisfy me; our love is that strong.)

I honestly think I *WOULD* feel much better if I had her lie over my legs in bed and administered 20 severe swats. She certainly wouldn't like it and I'm concerned that it might affect her feelings about me. I need input from some ladies.


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## lifeistooshort

So causing your wife pain that's unpleasant and makes her cry appeals to you? Doesn't sound like love to me; sounds like a nasty person with control issues and an inferiority complex. 
If my hb did that to me you can bet I'd never forget it.

What exactly did she say that was so horrible but she meant nothing by?
Signed,
Married woman
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karole

If I were your wife and you tried this crap with me, you might do it one time, but you would NEVER get a chance to do it again!!!!


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## NWCooper

It sounds like you want to hurt her back for the unintentional hurt she caused you. I don't understand the want to hurt someone you love. You want her to hurt physically, yeah that wouldn't fly with me, especially if you know she would agree out of guilt.


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## COGypsy

First off, you should quit lying to your wife. If you tell her that you understand whatever caused this transgression, then it's over. If you want to hit her until YOU feel better, that's a far, far cry from "understanding". 

Lying and violence? Yep. Would absolutely affect my feelings for someone.


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## Anon Pink

Or...

You ask her permission for this punishment spanking. And if she agrees, you set the number and agree on a safe word. Once it's done, it's over. You may not ever bring up or feel rotten about the comment again. If you can't do that, no. Don't spank her.

Married 29 years and we enjoy some spanking too!


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## Addled

lifeistooshort said:


> So causing your wife pain that's unpleasant and makes her cry appeals to you? Doesn't sound like love to me; sounds like a nasty person with control issues and an inferiority complex.
> If my hb did that to me you can bet I'd never forget it.
> 
> What exactly did she say that was so horrible but she meant nothing by?
> Signed,
> Married woman
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm not going to disclose what she said, but I very much appreciate your input.
Incidentally, many people have told me I'm one of the nicest persons they've met and I definitely don't have control or inferiority issues. If I had control issues do you think I would let her spank me?


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## Rowan

So, you want to physically hurt your wife, quite a lot by your own admission, in order to punish her for having said something that hurt your feelings? After you've already told her you forgive her and understand that she did not intend any harm to you? And you want to know if most women would be okay with this? 

Well, no, I don't think they would. Nor most men either, I think. Are the two of you in a taken-in-hand type marriage? If not, now's not the time to try to make that happen. If you are, then there should already be a procedure in place for this situation.

That must have really been some comment she made.


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## Addled

Anon Pink said:


> Or...
> 
> You ask her permission for this punishment spanking. And if she agrees, you set the number and agree on a safe word. Once it's done, it's over. You may not ever bring up or feel rotten about the comment again. If you can't do that, no. Don't spank her.
> 
> Married 29 years and we enjoy some spanking too!


When I asked if I could spank her 50 times she said yes, but after that I don't want you to ever bring it up again. You must think a lot like her. If so, your husband is very fortunate.


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## lifeistooshort

Addled said:


> I'm not going to disclose what she said, but I very much appreciate your input.
> Incidentally, many people have told me I'm one of the nicest persons they've met and I definitely don't have control or inferiority issues. If I had control issues do you think I would let her spank me?


It's not the same. My hb and I like to spank each other too, but you want to do it in a manner she doesn't like for the sole purpose of causing her pain and paying her back.

And you might be a very nice guy, but the fact that people outside the marriage have told you how nice you are means nothing. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.

She might agree to it but it will absolutely affect how she sees you. You will no longer be her protector; you will be a petty person that repaid hurt feelings with violence. Think long and hard about whether your revenge is worth it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan

Oh, and this is a WAY FAR cry from a sensual spanking. This is punishment and retaliation. Unless you two are already heavily into a _consensual_ lifestyle of this nature, don't try to equate sexual play with physical punishment.


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## Addled

Rowan said:


> So, you want to physically hurt your wife, quite a lot by your own admission, in order to punish her for having said something that hurt your feelings? After you've already told her you forgive her and understand that she did not intend any harm to you? And you want to know if most women would be okay with this?
> 
> Well, no, I don't think they would. Nor most men either, I think. Are the two of you in a taken-in-hand type marriage? If not, now's not the time to try to make that happen. If you are, then there should already be a procedure in place for this situation.
> 
> That must have really been some comment she made.


What is a "taken-in-hand" type marriage? This is the first time I've heard that term.


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## Hope1964

This is 2014, not the dark ages, and you are NOT in a role playing game either.

At least your username is spot on.


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## struggle

I agree with lifeistooshort and Rowan on this.

She's saying yes because she wants to please you, not because she actually wants it. She's afraid to lose you.
Also, it's punishment under a guise of what's supposed to be bedroom pleasure
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink

Addled said:


> When I asked if I could spank her 50 times she said yes, but after that I don't want you to ever bring it up again. You must think a lot like her. If so, your husband is very fortunate.


Yes, my husband is one lucky bastard! :rofl:

If you can't let it go, then you don't get to punish.

The whole thought about spanking for punishment is that it is to change BOTH of your behaviors. For women who are into this scene, being spanked for punishment allows THEM to let it go, not for retribution or revenge.


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## BoozeLevers

Addled said:


> What is a "taken-in-hand" type marriage? This is the first time I've heard that term.


There is a website at www.takeninhand.com dedicated to marriage where the husband is dominant and the wife is submissive in all things. Often, these marriages feature spanking for the purpose of behavior modification/punishment rather than strictly erotic purposes.

Since you both spank each other, it doesn't sound like you have that kind of marriage.


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## Blondilocks

Make no mistake about it, what you want to do is cruel and sick. A nice person wouldn't consider this appropriate payback for hurt feelings. A loving husband certainly wouldn't entertain it.


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## chillymorn

I gots too know ......what did she say that was sooooo hurtfull?

It might make the advice that people give you better or more complete.


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## As'laDain

if it can give you the catharsis you need, and both of you can move past it, go ahead. 

have a safe word. administer the punishment spanking. then never ever bring it up again. 

if you DO spank her and STILL end up holding it over her head, it will be a huge blow to her trust for you.


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## jld

That seems like a very heavy punishment for a _comment_, Addled. 

Are you really wanting to do this in _her_ best interest?


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## Blondilocks

The comment most likely involved his junk.


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## Cosmos

I don't have a problem with playful spanking, but it sounds to me as though you want to actually _hurt _your W as a form of punishment... No one has the right to physically punish another human being,_ no matter what_ they've said to hurt our feelings, and in this context I would consider it assault.

It sounds to me as though your W is terrified of losing you because of what she said, and has no doubt agreed to the paddling in an attempt to appease you. My advice to you is to not even go there, OP.

I'd just like to add, if my SO _ever _ so much attempted to inflict _any_ form of pain on me as a means of punishment, he'd find himself behind bars - and _very_ single.


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## Addled

lifeistooshort said:


> It's not the same. My hb and I like to spank each other too, but you want to do it in a manner she doesn't like for the sole purpose of causing her pain and paying her back.
> 
> And you might be a very nice guy, but the fact that people outside the marriage have told you how nice you are means nothing. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.
> 
> She might agree to it but it will absolutely affect how she sees you. You will no longer be her protector; you will be a petty person that repaid hurt feelings with violence. Think long and hard about whether your revenge is worth it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My wife has told me many times that one of the things she loves about me is my kindness and sensitivity to others. We have been told by a psychiatrist friend that the depth of love we have for one another is nearly unique. There's nothing we wouldn't do for each other. That would include letting her spank me as severely as she wanted. Always wanting what's best for the other is our source of joy.

You have a different attitude about the situation that do I. That doesn't equate to you being right and me wrong. No two people think alike, we're all different. It's the primary reason I ceased to criticize anyone who doesn't view things as I do.

As you probably know, there are many women who insist on extremely harsh spankings; they love them. I have no issue with that. I don't know why they enjoy such pain, but they feel much better when it's over. Some men are the same. It certainly doesn't compel me to criticize them.

A female psychiatrist wrote an advice article on spanking. She suggested that if your spouse hurts you, he or she should be taken over the knees and given a good, thorough spanking so that the offender will physically feel the depth of psychological pain he/she caused the other. My wife and I don't do that, but I think it's a fabulous idea for some other couples. And I wouldn't term it revenge. I view it as an act of love: The offender loving the person so much that he/she is consenting to nearly anything to make up for the harm inflicted. That is pure love.


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## jld

Blondilocks said:


> The comment most likely involved his junk.


Ah, okay. Thanks, Blondilocks.

Addled, you need to consider what your motivation is for doing this. It should not be your own insecurities. 

D/s, at least as I see it, is based on _love_, not revenge or insecurity.


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## over20

Please help us understand why you can share only certain parts of the situation at hand if you want the most helpful advice you should disclose the statement. Otherwise you may have reached a dead end
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blondilocks

Physical pain does not equate to psychological pain. Unless the derriere is connected to the mind. That female psychiatrist is nuts.

Sure, the spankee might feel humiliation in this revenge scenario and the blisters/blood might be a good indicator of just how deeply hurt the avenger is but when all is said and done there is going to be an element of hate for the avenger. Is this what you want?

This is certainly some tit for tat you've got going on in your oh-so-special love of the century.


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## Addled

jld said:


> That seems like a very heavy punishment for a _comment_, Addled.
> 
> Are you really wanting to do this in _her_ best interest?


I wouldn't be doing it for her best interest and I don't even know myself why I have this desire and I don't even like it. But IF I decide to go through with it I can assure you it would bring us even closer than we already are.

Certainly it would sting her incredibly beautiful behind, but only for a very shot time. Then I would tell her how much I love her for allowing me spank her so severely in order for me to release this desire. She and I tick alike in this regard: She would feel closer to me because she would have showed me how deep her love is for me.


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## Satya

My ex H used to put me over his knee and spank me hard. I thought it was the most childish, demoralizing thing he could do, but he'd always do it if he severely disagreed with something I said or thought I was being a stubborn arse.

He would spank me with a hand or back of a hairbrush to the point that I was crying heavily, crying out, and trying to crawl away. It didn't happen every day or every week, but usually once a month. Once a month was too much.

I hated it and I still hate to think about it. It took me a few years after separating from him to see just how abusive his behavior was, not just because he was smacking my arse, but because he would continue until he felt it was enough. I honestly think that I repressed the memories. I'd strongly advise against spanking, especially in a situation that would deny her the ability to get up and leave at any moment. JMO.


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## pidge70

Addled said:


> I wouldn't be doing it for her best interest and I don't even know myself why I have this desire and I don't even like it. But IF I decide to go through with it I can assure you it would bring us even closer than we already are.
> 
> Certainly it would sting her incredibly beautiful behind, but only for a very shot time. Then I would tell her how much I love her for allowing me spank her so severely in order for me to release this desire. She and I tick alike in this regard: She would feel closer to me because she would have showed me how deep her love is for me.


Then why did you bother to ask what other woman think?


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## Addled

chillymorn said:


> I gots too know ......what did she say that was sooooo hurtfull?
> 
> It might make the advice that people give you better or more complete.


I'm not going to reveal what she told me because what was said is not the point. The depth of harm she unintentionally caused is the only thing that is pertinent. We discussed it and she agreed that if the shoe was on the other foot it would have hurt her as it did me.


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## As'laDain

Blondilocks said:


> Physical pain does not equate to psychological pain. Unless the derriere is connected to the mind. That female psychiatrist is nuts.
> 
> Sure, the spankee might feel humiliation in this revenge scenario and the blisters/blood might be a good indicator of just how deeply hurt the avenger is but when all is said and done there is going to be an element of hate for the avenger. Is this what you want?
> 
> This is certainly some tit for tat you've got going on in your oh-so-special love of the century.


blondilocks, i can assure you that a person getting spanked in a consensual BDSM relationship rarely ever feels even the slightest element of hate for the one doing the spanking. in fact, its usually the polar opposite.


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## Blondilocks

pidge70 said:


> Then why did you bother to ask what other woman think?


Because he probably lives under a bridge.


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## Addled

Blondilocks said:


> Make no mistake about it, what you want to do is cruel and sick. A nice person wouldn't consider this appropriate payback for hurt feelings. A loving husband certainly wouldn't entertain it.


I refer you to my 2:11 pm response to lifeistooshort. Particularly the last paragraph.


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## Cosmos

Addled said:


> My wife has told me many times that one of the things she loves about me is my kindness and sensitivity to others. We have been told by a psychiatrist friend that the depth of love we have for one another is nearly unique. There's nothing we wouldn't do for each other. That would include letting her spank me as severely as she wanted. Always wanting what's best for the other is our source of joy.
> 
> Your psychiatrist friend isn't in your marriage and only knows what you both tell him...
> 
> You have a different attitude about the situation that do I. That doesn't equate to you being right and me wrong. No two people think alike, we're all different. It's the primary reason I ceased to criticize anyone who doesn't view things as I do.
> 
> Do you want advice or do you only want advice that doesn't criticize you inflicting pain on your W _as a form of punishment_?
> 
> 
> As you probably know, there are many women who insist on extremely harsh spankings; they love them. I have no issue with that. I don't know why they enjoy such pain, but they feel much better when it's over. Some men are the same. It certainly doesn't compel me to criticize them.
> 
> A female psychiatrist wrote an advice article on spanking. She suggested that if your spouse hurts you, he or she should be taken over the knees and given a good, thorough spanking so that the offender will physically feel the depth of psychological pain he/she caused the other. My wife and I don't do that, but I think it's a fabulous idea for some other couples. And I wouldn't term it revenge. I view it as an act of love: The offender loving the person so much that he/she is consenting to nearly anything to make up for the harm inflicted. That is pure love.
> 
> I disagree with this advice. It might work for some, but many (myself included) would consider this assault.
> 
> As for physical punishment being an act of love, I consider it an act of violence. The most loving thing we can do if someone hurts us and shows true remorse is to forgive.


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## Addled

pidge70 said:


> Then why did you bother to ask what other woman think?


Because the urge is there and I wanted ladies thoughts on it. Everyone is confronted with situations they're not certain how to handle and would like advise from professionals. in this situation the females are the professionals.


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## Blondilocks

Addled said:


> I refer you to my 2:11 pm response to lifeistooshort. Particularly the last paragraph.


The last paragraph in your 12:11 pm response is pure, unadulterated bull.


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## lifeistooshort

Addled said:


> My wife has told me many times that one of the things she loves about me is my kindness and sensitivity to others. We have been told by a psychiatrist friend that the depth of love we have for one another is nearly unique. There's nothing we wouldn't do for each other. That would include letting her spank me as severely as she wanted. Always wanting what's best for the other is our source of joy.
> 
> You have a different attitude about the situation that do I. That doesn't equate to you being right and me wrong. No two people think alike, we're all different. It's the primary reason I ceased to criticize anyone who doesn't view things as I do.
> 
> As you probably know, there are many women who insist on extremely harsh spankings; they love them. I have no issue with that. I don't know why they enjoy such pain, but they feel much better when it's over. Some men are the same. It certainly doesn't compel me to criticize them.
> 
> A female psychiatrist wrote an advice article on spanking. She suggested that if your spouse hurts you, he or she should be taken over the knees and given a good, thorough spanking so that the offender will physically feel the depth of psychological pain he/she caused the other. My wife and I don't do that, but I think it's a fabulous idea for some other couples. And I wouldn't term it revenge. I view it as an act of love: The offender loving the person so much that he/she is consenting to nearly anything to make up for the harm inflicted. That is pure love.


Look, you asked for opinions from women. You got them and you don't want to hear it. Fine; do it, feel better, and convince yourself your love will be stronger. Maybe it will, but it's a risk you take with your eyes open; perhaps you think the odds are in your favor and maybe it will work out. But if you go through with it you give up the right to victim status if it affects your marriage negatively because you know the risk.

Stop trying to find reasons that it's different for you guys and admit you're rolling the dice and hoping it works in your favor. I would have much more respect for my hb if I'd said something nasty and he told me in no uncertain terms that it was sh!tty and he won't tolerate being spoken to like that. There's a chance you're going to look really petty in your wife's eyes and her opinion of you will drop; accept that and take the risk if you think the payoff is worth it.

People take risks in life all the time 
for a worthwhile payoff. And you know it's a risk, or it would never occur to you that she might love you less.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964

Addled said:


> Because the urge is there and I wanted ladies thoughts on it. Everyone is confronted with situations they're not certain how to handle and would like advise from professionals. in this situation the females are the professionals.


So you have the urge to assault and hurt your wife, you say you don't like it, you say you'd be doing it for your own selfish reasons, yet you're still considering it ??? ???

A psychiatrist would be the professional you seek, not the women of TAM. You belong in an anger management group, not on a website getting advice from a bunch of unknown internet personae, many of whom have no freaking clue what they're talking about.


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## Addled

Hope1964 said:


> This is 2014, not the dark ages, and you are NOT in a role playing game either.
> 
> At least your username is spot on.


My confusion as to what I should or should not do in this situation is the reason I chose that name.


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## pidge70

Well let me tell you what this "professional" thinks, if my H tried that crap, he better get used to doing things with one hand.


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## Blondilocks

As'laDain said:


> blondilocks, i can assure you that a person getting spanked in a consensual BDSM relationship rarely ever feels even the slightest element of hate for the one doing the spanking. in fact, its usually the polar opposite.


I'll take your word for that. The OP didn't state he and his wife are into BDSM - only that they enjoy spanking. I seriously doubt his wife is going to get any sexual pleasure out of this revenge act. But, according to him, it will make them love each other even more. WTH?


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## Addled

Blondilocks said:


> The comment most likely involved his junk.


I can guarantee you it had nothing to do with that.


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## pidge70

Blondilocks said:


> I'll take your word for that. The OP didn't state he and his wife are into BDSM - only that they enjoy spanking. I seriously doubt his wife is going to get any sexual pleasure out of this revenge act. But, according to him, it will make them love each other even more. WTH?


Sounds very parent/child like.


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## As'laDain

Blondilocks said:


> I'll take your word for that. The OP didn't state he and his wife are into BDSM - only that they enjoy spanking. I seriously doubt his wife is going to get any sexual pleasure out of this revenge act. But, according to him, it will make them love each other even more. WTH?


yeah, im kinda confused by the OP as well...

not that my opinion really matters here. OP wants the female TAM opinion.


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## Addled

Blondilocks said:


> Physical pain does not equate to psychological pain. Unless the derriere is connected to the mind. That female psychiatrist is nuts.
> 
> Sure, the spankee might feel humiliation in this revenge scenario and the blisters/blood might be a good indicator of just how deeply hurt the avenger is but when all is said and done there is going to be an element of hate for the avenger. Is this what you want?
> 
> This is certainly some tit for tat you've got going on in your oh-so-special love of the century.


You're right. Psychological pain can hurt much more than physical pain. And there's not way I would spank her to the extent that it would leave blisters or blood. You are quite dramatic.


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## Rowan

As'laDain said:


> OP wants the female TAM opinion.


I'm rather unsure that he does.


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## Blondilocks

As'laDain said:


> yeah, im kinda confused by the OP as well...
> 
> not that my opinion really matters here. OP wants the female TAM opinion.


Actually, the OP doesn't want the female TAM opinion. He is just floating some random situation to get his jollies.


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## favoritemistake

So, my understanding is that your wife hurt your feelings and now you want to physically abuse her to make yourself feel better. Ok. And everyone (including your wife) would say that you are the nicest most sensitive guy they ever met. And an additional bonus is that it would bring you and your wife even closer (although I don't know how that's possible the way you describe your special kind of bond). Am I correct? 

I say in that case why not just punch her in the face and be done with it. It's quicker and I assume it will really make her swoon. I am being sarcastic of course. 

Good luck. I do think maybe you should seek out some professional help and I am sincere in that. I don't think anyone here will say it's ok to physically abuse your wife. 

PS....Do you have daughters? Would it be ok if their husbands did this to them?


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## Addled

As'laDain said:


> blondilocks, i can assure you that a person getting spanked in a consensual BDSM relationship rarely ever feels even the slightest element of hate for the one doing the spanking. in fact, its usually the polar opposite.



Truer words have not been spoken.


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## NobodySpecial

As'laDain said:


> if it can give you the catharsis you need, and both of you can move past it, go ahead.
> 
> have a safe word. administer the punishment spanking. then never ever bring it up again.
> 
> if you DO spank her and STILL end up holding it over her head, it will be a huge blow to her trust for you.


Married people PUNISH each other? I though that they sincerely asked forgiveness and were lovingly given it. What this poster is suggesting is sick.


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## Addled

WOW! You need to find a release for your anger.

I want and accept good advise from anyone, regardless of my agreeing or disagreeing with it. You, on the other hand, obviously have a problem with anyone who doesn't share your opinions.


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## Addled

I detect some envy in your heart.


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## TheCuriousWife

No offense to anyone who does it, but I really just don't get the BDSM crap.

I would never purposely hurt someone I loved. That would be like punching your child in the face and saying, "Don't worry honey. I'm showing you my love, and our relationship will grow much stronger now."

:scratchhead:

I'm sorry but love to me, does not mean physically hurting your spouse. Love means forgiveness, not punishment.

My husband does slap my behind. But never in anger, always just playing. It stings a little, but he has never hit me hard enough for it to actually hurt, and/or make me cry. 

If he actually hit me as a punishment he would lose an arm, and another important body part.


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## Addled

Blondilocks said:


> The last paragraph in your 12:11 pm response is pure, unadulterated bull.


It sure is, because there is no 12:11 response.


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## Blondilocks

If the OP wants to disguise his wife-beating as an exercise in bonding, then he should go for it. The jails are full of guys just like him who are looking for fresh fish.


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## GettingIt_2

I have a very funny feeling about this story, OP, but I will answer your question because I think it might enlighten some others out there as well. 

No, you should not spank her. And here are the reasons why.

1. Unless consensual, what you propose is physical abuse. 

2. Even if you wife agrees to it, her decision is being made under extreme emotional duress, so I think the "consent ship" has sailed for this situation. 

3. This event you are so circumspect about happened six months ago, and you have *still* not made peace with it in your mind. 

You say that whatever she said "emotionally destroyed" you. After a few days, however, you made up with her after she came up with an explanation you could accept. Again, it's six month later and you are still having the urge to punish her. 

That is ON YOU to figure out. Go get some IC if you need to. Your wife apologized and feels terrible and has taken responsibility for her actions. There is nothing else she can do. It's your turn to step up: if your feelings for her are permanently damaged, then be honest with her so she can decide what she wants to do. 

4. Consensual domestic discipline is not something that you decide to introduce AFTER there has been a "transgression" that calls for punishment. It is not something that you apply without practice and research on BOTH of your parts. It is never appropriate to use it to compensate for lack of communication about an issue.

5. Consensual domestic discipline calls for long discussions that lay out the minutest details of how it is to be applied. It ALWAYS has the best interest of the person being disciplined at the core. A spanking is never administered otherwise. It is certainly not administered to make the dominant partner "feel better" about an issue, for "revenge" or "because she had it coming." 

Furthermore, the first dd spanking you administer and she accepts shouldn't be 20, let alone 50, whacks with a paddle. Your urge to give her this sort of punishment comes from your unfinished business with what she said six months ago; not a desire to care for your wife as part of an agreed upon dynamic. 

6. A good dominant in a responsible D/s marriage would NEVER feel the way you do about this situation. I'm not saying that you would never make a good dominant, or that you and your wife are incapable of applying domestic discipline responsibly . . . just that (based on your post) you have a LONG way to go and an extensive amount of work to do first.

7. A good dominant in a responsible D/s relationship would spend HOURS reading about this and coming to understand the needs of a submissive BEFORE proposing a punishment. A good dominant would learn all he could about the psychology behind submission, about HOW to give a good spanking, and about how to care for his submissive afterwards. A good dominant NEVER puts his needs and urges first. 

Think about this long and hard, OP. If your intimacy has been damaged by the event six months ago, do the work you need to address it *before* you move ahead with incorporating spanking as punishment into your marriage. Domestic discipline can only work in a marriage with healthy intimacy and healthy communication--and yours has at least one unresolved issue. Do the work, don't just go for the easy out.


----------



## Addled

lifeistooshort said:


> Look, you asked for opinions from women. You got them and you don't want to hear it. Fine; do it, feel better, and convince yourself your love will be stronger. Maybe it will, but it's a risk you take with your eyes open; perhaps you think the odds are in your favor and maybe it will work out. But if you go through with it you give up the right to victim status if it affects your marriage negatively because you know the risk.
> 
> Stop trying to find reasons that it's different for you guys and admit you're rolling the dice and hoping it works in your favor. I would have much more respect for my hb if I'd said something nasty and he told me in no uncertain terms that it was sh!tty and he won't tolerate being spoken to like that. There's a chance you're going to look really petty in your wife's eyes and her opinion of you will drop; accept that and take the risk if you think the payoff is worth it.
> 
> People take risks in life all the time
> for a worthwhile payoff. And you know it's a risk, or it would never occur to you that she might love you less.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My goodness, your first sentence displays your negative attitude. I'm taking everyone's advise into account and I like what I'm hearing. What I disagree with is coming to people like you openly and honestly for advice that is of a very serious nature only to be told I'm one of the 4 horsemen in Revelation.

Your attitude and response is what I call cruel.


----------



## Hope1964

Addled said:


> Your attitude and response is what I call cruel.


:lol: :rofl:

Sorry that just popped out there.


----------



## As'laDain

i some how skipped over the six months part...

eek.


----------



## over20

OP, you should move this topic to Sex in Marriage and open it up to male responses also. It will be less suspicious, unless you are trying to find a cyber sub that is will allow you to mark her. You will NOT find that kind of woman on TAM!


----------



## Addled

Hope1964 said:


> So you have the urge to assault and hurt your wife, you say you don't like it, you say you'd be doing it for your own selfish reasons, yet you're still considering it ??? ???
> 
> A psychiatrist would be the professional you seek, not the women of TAM. You belong in an anger management group, not on a website getting advice from a bunch of unknown internet personae, many of whom have no freaking clue what they're talking about.


I absolutely agree with you regarding, "many of whom have no freaking clue what they're talking about." I would place you near the top of that category.


----------



## Addled

pidge70 said:


> Well let me tell you what this "professional" thinks, if my H tried that crap, he better get used to doing things with one hand.


Good comeback. I hope is can outrun you.


----------



## Hope1964

Addled said:


> I absolutely agree with you regarding, "many of whom have no freaking clue what they're talking about." I would place you near the top of that category.


OMG that actually made me laugh right out loud at my desk. :lol:


----------



## Addled

Blondilocks said:


> I'll take your word for that. The OP didn't state he and his wife are into BDSM - only that they enjoy spanking. I seriously doubt his wife is going to get any sexual pleasure out of this revenge act. But, according to him, it will make them love each other even more. WTH?


Anyone lacking the depth of love we have for one another wouldn't understand it. And from your initial comment to this one leads me to believe that you may not have love for anyone or anything, including life. You seem to have a terribly negative attitude and a high degree of anger about everything.


----------



## lifeistooshort

Addled said:


> My goodness, your first sentence displays your negative attitude. I'm taking everyone's advise into account and I like what I'm hearing. What I disagree with is coming to people like you openly and honestly for advice that is of a very serious nature only to be told I'm one of the 4 horsemen in Revelation.
> 
> Your attitude and response is what I call cruel.



Don't see where I called you evil; you could very well be a great guy. I'm just pointing out that you asked for opinions and have argued with every one about how what you want is really a good thing despite the fact that almost everyone thinks it's a bad idea. And you know it's risky or it wouldn't occur to you that your wife could love you less.

I'm just suggesting that it's a risk and you have to decide if the payoff is worth it. If your response was that you know it's a risk but your wife agrees to it and you'te willing to risk it that would be different Instead you want to keep trying to make arguments that will cause everyone to tell you it's a great idea. Not going to happen, so make your decision with the risks in mind.

I deal with risk for a living and it seems to me that your potential payoff better be petty darn big to justify the enormous risk you're taking. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Blondilocks

The OP's last few responses have indicated the true reason for this thread - entertainment.

So glad to know that there really isn't some turd out there who wants women to endorse the beating of his wife.


----------



## As'laDain

Addled said:


> Anyone lacking the depth of love we have for one another wouldn't understand it. And from your initial comment to this one leads me to believe that you may not have love for anyone or anything, including life. You seem to have a terribly negative attitude and a high degree of anger about everything.


i would try to avoid insulting anyone here if i were you. it will quickly get you banned.


----------



## Hope1964

Yes please don't get banned! I am enjoying this thread quite a bit for a change.


----------



## jld

I am sure you do love your wife, Addled, and she loves you. But you want to spank her out of your own pride, not in the interest of serving her in love.

You sound insecure, Addled. A secure man acts in the best interests of his wife. An insecure man strikes out in defense of his own pride.

It doesn't have to be like this. I would encourage you to really search your heart and ask yourself why this comment, just words, really, could affect you so deeply.

I have said terrible things to my husband in the heat of anger. And do you know what he said to me?

"I hear your words, but I know your heart."


----------



## Addled

NobodySpecial said:


> Married people PUNISH each other? I though that they sincerely asked forgiveness and were lovingly given it. What this poster is suggesting is sick.


It must feel great to think you're all knowing. Because you disagree with someone, they're wrong, because it sure can be you who is mistaken.


----------



## MagnificentEddy

No, absolutely not. You should not spank her.

Simply by getting her to agree to such a punishment you have made her suffer enough. Why are you 'satisfied' by inflicting pain on her? If I were you I'd seek help from a qualified therapist about that.


----------



## Lyris

We're taking this seriously are we?


----------



## Hope1964

Lyris said:


> We're taking this seriously are we?


Speak for yourself.


----------



## Anon Pink

Hang on...lemme get my popcorn!


----------



## melw74

Jesus, now i am partial to a bit of spanking, but your post scared me.

The way you worded your post it sounded as if you really want to hurt her.

I do not think that this would be acceptable at all.... Not for me.

Nothing wrong with a spank here and there, but not one that would hurt her to the point where she would cry out in pain.

If this post is real, and i am not sure it is your fricking scary.....


----------



## Addled

lifeistooshort said:


> Don't see where I called you evil; you could very well be a great guy. I'm just pointing out that you asked for opinions and have argued with every one about how what you want is really a good thing despite the fact that almost everyone thinks it's a bad idea. And you know it's risky or it wouldn't occur to you that your wife could love you less.
> 
> I'm just suggesting that it's a risk and you have to decide if the payoff is worth it. If your response was that you know it's a risk but your wife agrees to it and you'te willing to risk it that would be different Instead you want to keep trying to make arguments that will cause everyone to tell you it's a great idea. Not going to happen, so make your decision with the risks in mind.
> 
> I deal with risk for a living and it seems to me that your potential payoff better be petty darn big to justify the enormous risk you're taking.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Regarding your comment, "have argued with every one about how what you want is really a good thing despite the fact that almost everyone thinks it's a bad idea." It is truly amazing how so many people read into something only what they want to read into it. Show me just one quote of arguing with anyone. I admit to reacting to stupid, critical, self-centered people who vehemently disparage someone simply seeking advise because their opinions differ from someone else's. Their intent is not to help, but to release their anger and frustrations on someone else in order to try and hurt the individual's feelings.

Unluckily for them, it doesn't work on me. I understand that everyone is different and that these people are suffering from their own problems. My feelings towards them is not anger or wrath because I am not "me" oriented and am aware that we all have certain desires and feelings that we neither like nor understand.

What you have mistaken for argument is my making some people aware that there are different views on this topic.


----------



## Sandfly

I only got as far as the thread's title, and the answer is 'yes you should'.


----------



## Theseus

As'laDain said:


> i would try to avoid insulting anyone here if i were you. it will quickly get you banned.


Well, the OP was insulted first. In fact, the very first response called him a "nasty person with control issues and an inferiority complex". So if we start banning people, half this thread should go. 

I have seen this on TAM too many times. A new person comes here, asks for advice, is insulted by everyone, then when he/she responds back in the same manner, he/she gets banned. Then the others congratulate each other for getting rid of the OP. It's a sad, sick game on this site that drives a lot of new people away.


----------



## NobodySpecial

Addled said:


> Anyone lacking the depth of love we have for one another wouldn't understand it. And from your initial comment to this one leads me to believe that you may not have love for anyone or anything, including life. You seem to have a terribly negative attitude and a high degree of anger about everything.


I suggest you google logical fallacies. You need better ones.


----------



## Anon Pink

Sandfly said:


> I only got as far as the thread's title, and the answer is 'yes you should'.


In terms of snarky replies...not your best work Sandfly. I know you can do better.


----------



## manfromlamancha

OK I understand you getting off on spanking and hurting your wife and your further compounding this by asking the response of only women - however there are better sites online for this than TAM.

However, hurting someone physically in response to being hurt psychologically is still illegal generally (and as described by another poster, even if she agreed to it under duress) and when you go further to describe yourself as kind and sweet etc, this indicates some serious latent issues with you that although you know deep down need to be addressed, you probably never will.

These issues probably started early in your life - were you ever spanked severely as a boy, or had some sort of traumatic punishment administered ? Need to get yourself to counselling quick.


----------



## As'laDain

Theseus said:


> Well, the OP was insulted first. In fact, the very first response called him a "nasty person with control issues and an inferiority complex". So if we start banning people, half this thread should go.
> 
> I have seen this on TAM too many times. A new person comes here, asks for advice, is insulted by everyone, then when he/she responds back in the same manner, he/she gets banned. Then the others congratulate each other for getting rid of the OP. It's a sad, sick game on this site that drives a lot of new people away.


oh i know. i just dont want to see the OP get banned for responding in kind. 

i really dont like the "bully, provoke, ban" tactics...


----------



## Addled

As'laDain said:


> i would try to avoid insulting anyone here if i were you. it will quickly get you banned.


You obviously haven't taken the time to read the insults, disparaging comments and criticism thrown at me for simply seeking advise. If you have and still feel the same about my comments, I have no desire to be a member of your forum.

It would exhibit to me that your forum is essentially for those who only agree with its members and if someone disagrees they try to portray that person as horrible.


----------



## Addled

GettingIt said:


> I have a very funny feeling about this story, OP, but I will answer your question because I think it might enlighten some others out there as well.
> 
> No, you should not spank her. And here are the reasons why.
> 
> 1. Unless consensual, what you propose is physical abuse.
> 
> 2. Even if you wife agrees to it, her decision is being made under extreme emotional duress, so I think the "consent ship" has sailed for this situation.
> 
> 3. This event you are so circumspect about happened six months ago, and you have *still* not made peace with it in your mind.
> 
> You say that whatever she said "emotionally destroyed" you. After a few days, however, you made up with her after she came up with an explanation you could accept. Again, it's six month later and you are still having the urge to punish her.
> 
> That is ON YOU to figure out. Go get some IC if you need to. Your wife apologized and feels terrible and has taken responsibility for her actions. There is nothing else she can do. It's your turn to step up: if your feelings for her are permanently damaged, then be honest with her so she can decide what she wants to do.
> 
> 4. Consensual domestic discipline is not something that you decide to introduce AFTER there has been a "transgression" that calls for punishment. It is not something that you apply without practice and research on BOTH of your parts. It is never appropriate to use it to compensate for lack of communication about an issue.
> 
> 5. Consensual domestic discipline calls for long discussions that lay out the minutest details of how it is to be applied. It ALWAYS has the best interest of the person being disciplined at the core. A spanking is never administered otherwise. It is certainly not administered to make the dominant partner "feel better" about an issue, for "revenge" or "because she had it coming."
> 
> Furthermore, the first dd spanking you administer and she accepts shouldn't be 20, let alone 50, whacks with a paddle. Your urge to give her this sort of punishment comes from your unfinished business with what she said six months ago; not a desire to care for your wife as part of an agreed upon dynamic.
> 
> 6. A good dominant in a responsible D/s marriage would NEVER feel the way you do about this situation. I'm not saying that you would never make a good dominant, or that you and your wife are incapable of applying domestic discipline responsibly . . . just that (based on your post) you have a LONG way to go and an extensive amount of work to do first.
> 
> 7. A good dominant in a responsible D/s relationship would spend HOURS reading about this and coming to understand the needs of a submissive BEFORE proposing a punishment. A good dominant would learn all he could about the psychology behind submission, about HOW to give a good spanking, and about how to care for his submissive afterwards. A good dominant NEVER puts his needs and urges first.
> 
> Think about this long and hard, OP. If your intimacy has been damaged by the event six months ago, do the work you need to address it *before* you move ahead with incorporating spanking as punishment into your marriage. Domestic discipline can only work in a marriage with healthy intimacy and healthy communication--and yours has at least one unresolved issue. Do the work, don't just go for the easy out.


I appreciate your kind and well-though-out advise. It has had a positive effect on me.


----------



## NobodySpecial

Addled said:


> You obviously haven't taken the time to read the insults, disparaging comments and criticism thrown at me for simply seeking advise. If you have and still feel the same about my comments, I have no desire to be a member of your forum.
> 
> It would exhibit to me that your forum is essentially for those who only agree with its members and if someone disagrees they try to portray that person as horrible.


Oh there is plenty of disagreement among the members. Not an exclusive club. But if we were to review the advice you sought, it reads
- Wife hurt my feelings with some unspecified words. I allowed those words to "destroy" me. These words were not intended to hurt. We love each other so deeply.
- We made up.
- Six month later I want to beat her up and not for our mutual pleasure.

What advice would YOU give you?


----------



## Addled

Addled said:


> You obviously haven't taken the time to read the insults, disparaging comments and criticism thrown at me for simply seeking advise. If you have and still feel the same about my comments, I have no desire to be a member of your forum.
> 
> It would exhibit to me that your forum is essentially for those who only agree with its members and if someone disagrees they try to portray that person as horrible.


*I do want to thank you for your obvious intent to help solve my dilemma with your advise. You are very kind and feel for other people. This would be a wonderful forum if all of its members had your attitude instead of insulting someone sincerely seeking their help.*


----------



## Addled

Hope1964 said:


> Yes please don't get banned! I am enjoying this thread quite a bit for a change.


You've got to admit that it's a different and interesting topic. It certainly has fired up some people.


----------



## Addled

Addled said:


> It must feel great to think you're all knowing. Because you disagree with someone, they're wrong, because it sure can be you who is mistaken.


Sorry, the wording was meant to be, "it sure can't be you who is mistaken."


----------



## GettingIt_2

Addled said:


> I appreciate your kind and well-though-out advise. It has had a positive effect on me.


Let me offer one more piece of advice: TAM is not the best place to seek advice about domestic discipline. If you and your wife are serious about exploring it, put a hold on all action and spend a solid month researching it. There are plenty of good sites out there (bad ones, too) but in general pro-marriage forums aren't "lifestyle D/s" friendly. Some of them even outright ban any discussion of it.

And based on the story you put forth in your opening post, I'd feel remiss if I didn't also recommend the added caution of seeking the advice of a qualified therapist before you head down this road with your wife. I really think your unresolved anger/resentment/hurt over what she said to you six months ago is a serious barrier to your being able to function as a responsible dom. 

One last piece of advice: don't venomously argue back when you feel you're not getting good advice or when you feel you're being insulted. TAM has a lot to offer but, like in any other anonymous forum, you have to learn to separate your wheat from your chaff.


----------



## Addled

jld said:


> I am sure you do love your wife, Addled, and she loves you. But you want to spank her out of your own pride, not in the interest of serving her in love.
> 
> You sound insecure, Addled. A secure man acts in the best interests of his wife. An insecure man strikes out in defense of his own pride.
> 
> It doesn't have to be like this. I would encourage you to really search your heart and ask yourself why this comment, just words, really, could affect you so deeply.
> 
> I have said terrible things to my husband in the heat of anger. And do you know what he said to me?
> 
> "I hear your words, but I know your heart."


What a prince!


----------



## Anon Pink

Well damn. Just like the penis thread, comes on strong, gets very active, then peters out rather quickly. 

Back to making dinner....


----------



## Addled

Sandfly said:


> I only got as far as the thread's title, and the answer is 'yes you should'.


Hey! I asked for women's advise only. You've gotta be a male to like my question so much.


----------



## Addled

Theseus said:


> Well, the OP was insulted first. In fact, the very first response called him a "nasty person with control issues and an inferiority complex". So if we start banning people, half this thread should go.
> 
> I have seen this on TAM too many times. A new person comes here, asks for advice, is insulted by everyone, then when he/she responds back in the same manner, he/she gets banned. Then the others congratulate each other for getting rid of the OP. It's a sad, sick game on this site that drives a lot of new people away.



I deeply appreciate your defending me. You are one of the few ladies in this forum who is open minded, honest and understands there is always another side to the story.

It has to be killing the nasty members that there comments have no effect on me other than to let them know what wretched people they are. It's unfathomable to me that a person seeking advise of such a serious nature could be treated so harshly. There are some nasty - and I am certain - very unhappy people here.


----------



## Addled

Anon Pink said:


> In terms of snarky replies...not your best work Sandfly. I know you can do better.


I think it's humorous. It's nice to know that someone out there has a sense of humor.


----------



## jld

Theseus is a man, OP. Just fyi.


----------



## jld

Anon Pink said:


> Well damn. Just like the penis thread, comes on strong, gets very active, then peters out rather quickly.
> 
> Back to making dinner....




But as long as you brought it up, what's for dinner?


----------



## Addled

manfromlamancha said:


> OK I understand you getting off on spanking and hurting your wife and your further compounding this by asking the response of only women - however there are better sites online for this than TAM.
> 
> However, hurting someone physically in response to being hurt psychologically is still illegal generally (and as described by another poster, even if she agreed to it under duress) and when you go further to describe yourself as kind and sweet etc, this indicates some serious latent issues with you that although you know deep down need to be addressed, you probably never will.
> 
> These issues probably started early in your life - were you ever spanked severely as a boy, or had some sort of traumatic punishment administered ? Need to get yourself to counselling quick.



Another idiot "only what she wants to read into it" member. Magically out of nowhere came the words "under duress." You are a great example of how some innocent peoples reputations are ruined. It also exhibits how self-centered and unethical you are. You want to discuss legalities, dummy?


----------



## jld

Addled said:


> Another idiot "only what she wants to read into it" member. Magically out of nowhere came the words "under duress." You are a great example of how some innocent peoples reputations are ruined. It also exhibits how self-centered and unethical you are. You want to discuss legalities, dummy?


Addled, don't call people names. That is going to get you banned. 

Are you trying to get banned?


----------



## melw74

Addled said:


> I deeply appreciate your defending me. You are one of the few ladies in this forum who is open minded, honest and understands there is always another side to the story.
> 
> It has to be killing the nasty members that there comments have no effect on me other than to let them know what wretched people they are. It's unfathomable to me that a person seeking advise of such a serious nature could be treated so harshly. There are some nasty - and I am certain - very unhappy people here.


Maybe that's to do with the fact that Theseus is a man:smthumbup:


----------



## pidge70

Addled said:


> Another idiot "only what she wants to read into it" member. Magically out of nowhere came the words "under duress." You are a great example of how some innocent peoples reputations are ruined. It also exhibits how self-centered and unethical you are. You want to discuss legalities, dummy?


Ummmm, the person you quoted is a male. Thus the name "manfromlamancha". Now, let's talk about those lacking in reading comprehension.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GettingIt_2

Addled said:


> Another idiot "only what she wants to read into it" member. Magically out of nowhere came the words "under duress." You are a great example of how some innocent peoples reputations are ruined. It also exhibits how self-centered and unethical you are. You want to discuss legalities, dummy?


The words "under duress" came from me (the "other poster" manfrom references) in my original post to you. You know, the one you thanked me for.


----------



## Addled

GettingIt said:


> Let me offer one more piece of advice: TAM is not the best place to seek advice about domestic discipline. If you and your wife are serious about exploring it, put a hold on all action and spend a solid month researching it. There are plenty of good sites out there (bad ones, too) but in general pro-marriage forums aren't "lifestyle D/s" friendly. Some of them even outright ban any discussion of it.
> 
> And based on the story you put forth in your opening post, I'd feel remiss if I didn't also recommend the added caution of seeking the advice of a qualified therapist before you head down this road with your wife. I really think your unresolved anger/resentment/hurt over what she said to you six months ago is a serious barrier to your being able to function as a responsible dom.
> 
> One last piece of advice: don't venomously argue back when you feel you're not getting good advice or when you feel you're being insulted. TAM has a lot to offer but, like in any other anonymous forum, you have to learn to separate your wheat from your chaff.


I'm so sorry if I hurt some peoples feelings.


----------



## Advocado

You have asked for opinions from women and because of my ignorance of this type of ... whatever, and because of my concerns for your wife's physical health, I must ask how do you feel about having your wife give us her own opinion? Would you consider showing her this thread and having her join TAM?


----------



## Addled

pidge70 said:


> Ummmm, the person you quoted is a male. Thus the name "manfromlamancha". Now, let's talk about those lacking in reading comprehension.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't read all the names. I just surmised the remarks were from another nasty female member.


----------



## Addled

jld said:


> Theseus is a man, OP. Just fyi.


Thanks for informing me.


----------



## Addled

jld said:


> Addled, don't call people names. That is going to get you banned.
> 
> Are you trying to get banned?


It certainly wouldn't crush me. One of the reasons being people like you. It's admirable for your fellow members to call me all sorts of nasty names, but I can't respond in kind.


----------



## Addled

melw74 said:


> Maybe that's to do with the fact that Theseus is a man:smthumbup:


He's obviously grown tired of the unjust attitude of so many of the members.


----------



## Addled

Advocado said:


> You have asked for opinions from women and because of my ignorance of this type of ... whatever, and because of my concerns for your wife's physical health, I must ask how do you feel about having your wife give us her own opinion? Would you consider showing her this thread and having her join TAM?


No problem, whatsoever. She's sitting next to me. A little while ago she commented, "I told you years ago how deceiving and nasty some women are."

Her point has been proved.


----------



## Blondilocks

Dear Addled and Mrs. Addled, we here at TAM wish you all the very best and sincerely hope you both very much enjoy that a$$whooping. Break out the paddle!


----------



## lifeistooshort

Addled said:


> Regarding your comment, "have argued with every one about how what you want is really a good thing despite the fact that almost everyone thinks it's a bad idea." It is truly amazing how so many people read into something only what they want to read into it. Show me just one quote of arguing with anyone. I admit to reacting to stupid, critical, self-centered people who vehemently disparage someone simply seeking advise because their opinions differ from someone else's. Their intent is not to help, but to release their anger and frustrations on someone else in order to try and hurt the individual's feelings.
> 
> Unluckily for them, it doesn't work on me. I understand that everyone is different and that these people are suffering from their own problems. My feelings towards them is not anger or wrath because I am not "me" oriented and am aware that we all have certain desires and feelings that we neither like nor understand.
> 
> What you have mistaken for argument is my making some people aware that there are different views on this topic.


Name calling. Nice. Hope this isn't the best entertainment you get, because that wouldn't speak well of your mentality or your life. 

But then again, your posts don't speak well of your mentality. 

Bye.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GettingIt_2

Addled said:


> It certainly wouldn't crush me. One of the reasons being people like you. It's admirable for your fellow members to call me all sorts of nasty names, but I can't respond in kind.


Don't use the bad behavior of others to justify your own bad behavior; it's weak. No one makes you behave poorly, you choose to do so. Do you understand what it means to be a dom in a D/s relationship? You need to have a superior command of your emotions, and the ability to temper your actions when you do not have that command.


----------



## As'laDain

Addled said:


> You obviously haven't taken the time to read the insults, disparaging comments and criticism thrown at me for simply seeking advise. If you have and still feel the same about my comments, I have no desire to be a member of your forum.
> 
> It would exhibit to me that your forum is essentially for those who only agree with its members and if someone disagrees they try to portray that person as horrible.


you do realize i was trying to look out for you right?

the problem is, you can get banned for posting x number of posts. lets say five people each post one insult. they only post one insult, and it happens to be directed at you.

now, lets say you post an insult to each one of them in the same thread. then five more people come in and insult you, and you insult them back.

ten people who only slipped up once, and you slipped up ten times in a row(according to forum rules).

even if you are on the defensive, you end up being the one getting banned.


----------



## chillymorn

Anon Pink said:


> Well damn. Just like the penis thread, comes on strong, gets very active, then peters out rather quickly.
> 
> Back to making dinner....


please don't generalize. it really depends on the individual penis and how hot the woman is as to how quickly it peters out!


----------



## happy as a clam

I didn't read the whole thread; personally I think you posted mainly to rile people up and get a reaction. But to each his own.

Having said that, what I basically hear you saying is you want to beat up your wife because she hurt your feelings?!?! Are you effing kidding me?!?!

Plus, you won't even tell us what she said, so none of us can fairly judge the merits of your argument with all the necessary information.

You strike me as a coward who wants to hurt a woman and lord your superiority over her.

Bowing out of this one.... don't really care what your response is, so don't bother.

:soapbox:


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## RaiderGirl

Sexual spanking = sensual 
Dominant over submissive- hot
hand on bare butt=hot
Actual physical pain punishment for a transgression is horrid. You say you are kind and that your marriage is the envy of others yet you really don't know how to forgive.

What the hell could she possible have said that cut so deep? 
I have learned not men cant forgive/forget the phrase "you don't satisfy me" 
And women cant forgive/forget "you don't attract me".


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