# Does my husband still love me



## Scared

We have been married for 6 years. We bought a house and I got pregnant this year. I am 9 months now and should be having the baby any day now. He wanted me to get pregnant and we planned this, but afterward he regretted it and was very angry and unsupportive. 

Things seemed to get better the last 2 months, but I had to go to the hospital a few weeks ago because I had a fever and was in premature labor. They gave me a shot to stop the labor kept me in the hospital overnight. 

The very day I got home from the hospital, he was complaining because he couldn't find his stuff on the computer. I showed him where it was and didn't think much of it. But I found out he was looking for naked pics of me to email to people. While I was in the hospital his friend was sending him naked pics of girls they used to know. My husband was telling his friend things like, send me more, I need to jerk off at least 3 more times today. 

I can't help but feel like this marriage is over, it just doesn't seem like he loves me. I love him very much, I thought we were a perfect match, but I just think that he doesn't feel the same. I don't know what to do. I just want to feel loved by him, but I don't want to continue to feel so bad either. 

I asked him to go to counseling with me about 4 months ago and he said absolutely not. Some outside perspective on this would be nice.


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## MarkTwain

Scared said:


> While I was in the hospital his friend was sending him naked pics of girls they used to know. My husband was telling his friend things like, send me more, I need to jerk off at least 3 more times today.


How much sex has there been lately? Who initiates, who rejects?


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## Scared

I have tried everything I can think of to get him to have sex with me, but he just says that I am a pervert and sick because I have a baby in me.

Also, he just pretty much ignores me in general most of the day. We used to do EVERYTHING together. He wouldn't even go to the store by himself. He works at home and he always asks me to help him do his work. I would sit right next to him sharing the same desk. But now, he just leaves and doesn't even say he is going anywhere. He has never been affectionate, but he was definitely a partner before.


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## MarkTwain

Do you think there is someone else?

On the other hand, it may be that he does not understand that pregnant women can have sex, and lots of it.


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## Scared

I don't know if there is someone else. Right before all of this started we went out and he got really drunk (I was pregnant so I was the designated driver) and he was all over his friends ex-girlfriend and one of her friends to the point where they were talking about how and where they were going to f*** each other. 

I tried to get him to stop, but he just kept pushing me away and yelling to the point the bar was warning us that they were going to throw him out. After we finally left, he sat in the backseat with the girls, grabbing their boobs and butts and even licking one of their faces. 

Anyway it was a horrible night and he seemed sorry and said he didn't remember. But he did seem more into one of the girls and was actually kind of affectionate with her and he doesn't act that way ever. 

After that he did get drunk and disappear "talking" with this girl a couple of times. But as far as I know he hasn't seen her for the past couple of months. And I don't think they ever saw each other when they weren't drunk in a public place. So, I don't know if he just likes that a girl comes onto him when he is drunk, or if there is anything more.

Also, before this happened he didn't mind having sex with me even though I was pregnant. But I wasn't really showing yet, so that could be it too.

But, everything was wonderful the morning before we went out and all of that happened. We were getting along as well as I could possibly hope. He even was talking about how happy he was and he wanted to get drunk to celebrate. 

After this he started drinking 5 or more times a week and being kind of angry (He has never had a drinking problem, or drank near that much.), up until a couple of months ago and he stopped drinking accept for an occasional beer or two.

Now he is not angry, just distant.


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## MarkTwain

Have you asked him why he is being distant?


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## Scared

When I asked him, he said that he is busy and he can't be there to hold my hand every second. He kind of got a little angry when I asked too.


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## MarkTwain

That is no way to treat a pregnant woman. Dig deeper.


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## T-Dub

I think he is hiding something! Getting snippy like that with you is because he is defensive I would think!


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## Blanca

wow im so sorry for you. i agree with T-Dub. i think he's hiding something from you. i would put spyware on the computer.


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## 827Aug

Hi,

Since you are so close to the end of you pregnancy, I wouldn't do or say anything right now. Wait until your baby arrives and give your hormones a chance to stabilize. You really need to be focusing on preparing for the wonderful event.

It does sound like you have a big problem though. Having gone thru what I have over the past 3 years, I know the "distant" factor is a BIG red flag. It usually means the spouse is emotionally leaving you; that may or may not mean an affair. Please see a counselor. A great counselor will be able to help you sort thru all of this. My estranged husband wouldn't see a counselor either. There was a reason! He had a personality disorder and I couldn't see it. After nearly a year of counseling, I'm finally seeing the big picture--I should have gone much sooner in the marriage.

Blessings!


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## div2wice

Its a common misconception of men to think that its nasty, unsafe, gross, etc. to have sex when PG. Its all in their heads really, nothing you did to cause it or could do to change it.
He's acting like a jerk and a fool because he is completely terrified about having this baby. Immaturity, uneducated about pregnancy/children, selfishness, stress of providing for a child, being a daddy, etc. any of these can cause this "freaking out". I agree, he is also hiding something.... 
There is nothing you can do to fix it, but he needs to take some steps and fast. But you cannot make him. The more you try, the farther away he'll get. Can you go somewhere away from him until the baby is born? You don't need this stress during your pregnancy. You need to get away from him until he can grow up..until he's willing to be a husband to you.


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