# My husband has encouraged my weight gain



## Hollyhock

Hi. New here and a bit upset to finally get weighed at a physical last week and —- not too much of a surprise to me—- discovered that after years of trying to not get over 200 lbs. it has happened as I now weigh 209. My husband looked me over and said that yes, he thought I put on a few over the winter and so what? He admitted he thinks my bigger size is a turn on. I weighed about 180 about 18 mo. ago and never have been thin in years. I don’t want to diet anymore... so should I just relax and ?


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## jlg07

The only concern I would have is for your health. You H may love the heavier look -- nothing wrong with that.
Like I said, I wouldn't just let everything go as that can lead to some pretty serious health issues.


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## Hollyhock

jlg07 said:


> The only concern I would have is for your health. You H may love the heavier look -- nothing wrong with that.
> Like I said, I wouldn't just let everything go as that can lead to some pretty serious health issues.





jlg07 said:


> The only concern I would have is for your health. You H may love the heavier look -- nothing wrong with that.
> Like I said, I wouldn't just let everything go as that can lead to some pretty serious health issues.


I’m pretty healthy and don’t anticipate gaining too much more, but I’m sooo tired of trying to lose the weight !


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## Openminded

How tall are you?


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## Hollyhock

Openminded said:


> How tall are you?


55”


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## Hollyhock

Hollyhock said:


> 55”


5’ 5”” that is


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## jlg07

You also may be young (not sure here!) When you age, the extra weight can cause joint issues (esp ankles and knees), so again, as long as you stay healthy at this weight, then I wouldn't worry too much.
You may also have a concern if you want to have children.


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## Sfort

If you should be unfortunate enough to find yourself single again, the first thing you will do is go on a diet. You read it here all the time. As someone who has struggled with weight forever, I can assure you that it's much easier to keep from gaining than it is losing, and it's hard to keep from gaining. Never give up the fight. For most of us, the damage is irreversible. Once you've been at a certain weight, it's okay to stay at that weight. It's not okay.


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## Hollyhock

jlg07 said:


> You also may be young (not sure here!) When you age, the extra weight can cause joint issues (esp ankles and knees), so again, as long as you stay healthy at this weight, then I wouldn't worry too much.
> You may also have a concern if you want to have children.


I ‘m in my mid fifties with 2 kids in college. Hard year cause of pandemic too, but lucky enough to have been able to work from home.


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## Diana7

I would think of your health. You are at risk from diabetes and many other things. 
Gaining 29 lbs in 18 months is a lot. How will you stop gaining more?
Your husband may like the larger lady but he isn't thinking of your health.
Do you exercise? Can you eat more healthily?


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## Hollyhock

Diana7 said:


> I would think of your health. You are at risk from diabetes and many other things.
> Gaining 29 lbs in 18 months is a lot. How will you stop gaining more?
> Your husband may like the larger lady but he isn't thinking of your health.
> Do you exercise? Can you eat more healthily?


Eat fairly healthy but must admit more snacking and later in the day. Maybe more exercise since the weather is nicer now. I don’t know....


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## Girl_power

Girl you need to lose weight. I’m sure you still look hot and sexy for your husband but that isn’t the point. You want to be healthy. You want to live a long time for your kids and grandkids and husband. 
Your tired of dieting? Your going to be even more tired when your more obese. I’m sorry I’m in the health business. There is nothing healthy about obesity.


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## Bibi1031

Fifty something and obese is not good at all. How is your blood glucose? Ou
Your cholesterol? Kidneys? Liver? Arteries and heart? 

Being over 40 and obese really wreaks havoc on the organs and systems I mentioned above.


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## sokillme

Hollyhock said:


> Hi. New here and a bit upset to finally get weighed at a physical last week and —- not too much of a surprise to me—- discovered that after years of trying to not get over 200 lbs. it has happened as I now weigh 209. My husband looked me over and said that yes, he thought I put on a few over the winter and so what? He admitted he thinks my bigger size is a turn on. I weighed about 180 about 18 mo. ago and never have been thin in years. I don’t want to diet anymore... so should I just relax and ?


I would just make your health the priority but if you are bigger and he is cool with that then so be it. Enjoy your husbands enjoyment of you.


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## Hollyhock

Hollyhock said:


> Eat fairly healthy but must admit more snacking and later in the day. Maybe more exercise since the weather is nicer now. I don’t know....





sokillme said:


> I would just make your health the priority but if you are bigger and he is cool with that then so be it. Enjoy your husbands enjoyment of you.


yes, health important and will watch my weight some, but love the way my husband looks at and touches my curves more and more.....


sokillme said:


> I would just make your health the priority but if you are bigger and he is cool with that then so be it. Enjoy your husbands enjoyment of you.


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## ccpowerslave

At 5’5” you would still be rocking big time curves at 180.

It’s really a matter of health and activity. Even if your blood chemistry is ok you’re still at higher risk for disease and complications from disease.


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## Hollyhock

Thanks for your input. Think I’ll try to lose a few pounds eventually by the end of the year....but now with quite a few new plus size clothing items along with my husband’s extra attention and compliments.... don’t think I’m ready to start tomorrow!


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## CatholicDad

There are lots of good calorie counting apps out there. It’s very insightful to know what your intake is and takes the guesswork out of cutting.


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## DudeInProgress

Hollyhock said:


> *Eat fairly healthy but must admit more snacking and later in the day.* Maybe more exercise since the weather is nicer now. I don’t know....


No you don’t. You don’t get to be over 200 pounds at 5’5 by eating even remotely healthy or with reasonable portions.
Not attacking you, you can do whatever floats your (or your husbands) boat. But do not delude yourself, you do not eat healthy and your weight is not healthy.


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## Taxman

Please do not give into your husband's chubby chasing. Let me tell you, that I weighed in at 330. Ate what ever I wanted, had a career that was essentially sedentary, and I liked my smokes. Figured I would do something about it someday. Month after my 40th I had a minor heart attack. Soon as I was released from hospital, I went straight back to work. High stress job. Financial district, working for some really wealthy people. I kept eating and smoking. Five years later, a clear Sunday in April, I am at my desk at 7am, we are closing on a new real estate deal. A familiar feeling, right arm numb, and I feel like my neck is stretching and a stab of cold going into my lungs. I call security and tell them I am having a heart attack and where I am. Call my wife and tell her what is going on. Paramedics have difficulty loading me onto the gurney. They try an emergency angio, I say I am feeling funny. Last thing I remember for a week. I came back from the widow maker, and a major allergic reaction to the blood thinner. They replaced my blood volume. I had no immune system and could hardly walk a few yards. Found out I had been a raging diabetic for years. Took me ten years to steadily regain my health. I began tackling the weight at WW (the only time that short form is for something good-Weight Watchers). I did not want to know my weight, so as I lost, I was trying to keep the enormity of what I was tackling out of the back of my mind. It has been now 20 plus years since the heart attack. I have relearned eating and exercising. I have also lost half of my body weight. I have managed to maintain 165. Overweight is a co-morbidity that will be an underlying factor in problems late in life. Mine happened in my 40s. I could have avoided a lot of it had I gotten "religion" earlier.


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## MattMatt

@Hollyhock in the UK we tend to measure weight in stones. So I converted pounds to stones and your weight is just a shade under 15 stones.

At your height, that's a lot. My wife and I have to watch our weights, so we walk daily (about 12k steps) and for bad weather we have a treadmill.


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## joannacroc

My concern would be longterm health, because however attractive he finds it, it puts a lot of pressure on your joints and can shorten your life expectancy. I'm sure you can find a good, healthy balance, since you say you already like some healthy foods. Maybe start by swapping your snacks for healthier options like portioned carrots and hummus, or fruit.

I would get a Fitbit or use a step tracking app on your phone to track your steps each day. Go for a walk. Start with a low step goal each day - walk or run 1000 steps. Then once you've done that for a week, go for 2000. An eventual goal for longterm health is apparently 10,000 steps a day (walking or running). I have struggled with weight on and off after injuries, so I get it, but weighing in every day, writing down what you eat (without shame or guilt) and setting yourself an activity goal are all things that are helping me steadily lose weight. Then stick to it, and if you slip, acknowledge it as a slip up and just have faith that you can keep going. Hope this helps


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