# Non sexualy touch and getting hard



## Snooring (Mar 10, 2011)

Ok, women love sexual touch that leads not to sex!
Question, you touch your woman, kiss her passionately but "pretend" that you do not want sex but your sexual organs never lie. She lean on you and you are hard!
Example, on a night that you want to touch kiss and be affectionate with your wife but you want that no sex to happen but your penis is hard. what will woman interpret?

Will you women feel like your man is acting? trying to pretend to kiss you without any expectations but in reality your man is hard which means he wants you?

Please women tell us how is your interpretation


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## Snooring (Mar 10, 2011)

Seriously, it is very hard to kiss passionately without getting hard, even women get wet with that. How can you say then that it does not lead to sex?


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## Married 20 years (Jun 12, 2011)

This non-sexual touch should take place outside of the bedroom. For example, a hug, a pat on the back, or a kiss at different times throughout the day. Holding hands or putting your arm around your wife when you're sitting together. All those things you probably did when you were dating, but now don't do as much because you're married. 

It seems that this is an area where some men over-due it by touching their wife continuously all day long and not giving her space. While other men rarely touch outside the bedroom. 

In bed, cuddling or hugging should happen whether or not you want sex. Avoid hoping your wife will read your mind about sex. If my DH is hard I assume he would like to have sex. If he is really wanting/ needing sex then he will take it to the next step. Sometimes I will initiate and take it to the next step. It's give and take. It's a mistake to lay there hard waiting for her to take the next step. That leads to frustration on both sides.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I think a good woman will take care of her man every time he is hard for her (within reason of coarse), being thankful she is desired by her man. This is a blessing, or should be. I don't feel it is right for him to suffer because she does not want bothered. Anything less from her, eventually , will lead to some resentment on his part -if it starts happening too much , wanting his affectionate touch but not caring to give him his release in return -but her rejecting his outright *sexual* desire for her. 

He will inevitably start to pull away as it is too hard on him (in more ways than one), he will start looking to porn to fullfill his longings, and this is no good in a healthy marraige. 

It is very easy to take care of a man, women should not get married to one if they are not up for this part of marraige. 

And all men should take care of their sexually longing wives as well. This is what love, compassion , even passion is all about.

My husband is older now but I wish he got hard more often, I regret the days I took this for granted. I am like a little girl in the candy store when this happens in moments not expected, nothing sweeter, I live to take care of his every need.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

You forget that we guys usually get hard for any reason, or no reason at all, and they know it. Just the wind blowing does it. I think our significant other's usually just accept this and know that we don't expect it to go all the way every time we get hard.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Personally I like it. So I interpret my husband getting hard as a reason to go for it. Not all women feel this way though. My best friends complains about this with her husband. She says he NEVER touches her unless he wants sex. He won't cuddle with her on the couch, hold her hand, etc. Also he gropes and she says that is a turn off.


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## Undertheradar (May 11, 2011)

Magnolia:

Funny story....
You know what's been going on with me, so I'll share a funny.

A few nights ago, I was BUSTING. She came to bed, and I was as ready as ready could get.
As soon as she got in bed, I ripped off the covers, and displayed my (whatever). LOL....

She ran out of there, like she saw a ghost.

I laughed to myself, because I didn't expect a warm response. But deep down, I was rejected and hurt.

When we get hard, we want it.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I think a good woman will take care of her man every time he is hard for her (within reason of coarse), being thankful she is desired by her man. This is a blessing, or should be.


Hear! Hear!!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Under - I laughed so hard my water came out of my nose. 

What were you thinking - what did she say when she came back to bed?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> Under - I laughed so hard my water came out of my nose.
> 
> What were you thinking - what did she say when she came back to bed?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What makes you think she came back to bed? She's probably still running! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband's toy is hard a lot of the times because I play with it a lot! 

He gets sex at any time he want, not any time when he is hard.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

PBear 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TemperToo (Apr 23, 2011)

I would LOVE to be a man, just for a day!! I am genuinely curious what it's like to have a "member." LOL!

I've been at two places in my marriage with sex:
1. ZERO Libido and sex was painful (due to depression)
2. Ready, willing, and able to have it 99% of the time he did and initiated more times than not. 

Surprisingly, number 1 happened when we first got married!

Anyway, we are currently separated, but when I see "firmness" I take full advantage! LOL! (We ARE still married and all.....)

The way I see that in bed....well, he may not have started out wanting sex, but he sure as heck wouldn't turn it down at that point! If I'm not particularly in the mood, I would let him initiate (or not.) If I was in the mood, well, game on! LOL!


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I think a good woman will take care of her man every time he is hard for her (within reason of coarse), being thankful she is desired by her man. This is a blessing, or should be. I don't feel it is right for him to suffer because she does not want bothered. Anything less from her, eventually , will lead to some resentment on his part -if it starts happening too much , wanting his affectionate touch but not caring to give him his release in return -but her rejecting his outright *sexual* desire for her.
> 
> He will inevitably start to pull away as it is too hard on him (in more ways than one), he will start looking to porn to fullfill his longings, and this is no good in a healthy marraige.
> 
> ...


As far as I can tell by reading here, for every one like you there are several who see a partner being erect as a threat, a demand, an insult, a chore or several of the above.

For men who don't get a lot, almost any touching is going to get them up, and therefore give the appearance of wanting sex. So the idea that these touches are non-sexual collapses in the face of the evidence To a woman who sees ANY erection as the above, the idea of non-sexual touching is a contradiction in terms.


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## Undertheradar (May 11, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> Under - I laughed so hard my water came out of my nose.
> 
> What were you thinking - what did she say when she came back to bed?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes, she came back to bed. Rolled over and went to sleep.
I asked her if she recovered, and just chuckled to myself.

The night was uneventful.


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## Edge (Mar 30, 2011)

I often get hard in situations like this. It does not mean I am necessarily looking for sex but I also wouldn't turn it down. My wife knows I am a horndog.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Explain to your wife that an erection is basically an automatic reaction to some stimulus. It can be physical or it can be mental. It means that you're READY for sex, not that you're demanding or even asking for sex.

I guess I can see how some women might be intimidated by that... It can be kind of in your face (so to speak). But as you said, it's no different than a woman getting wet from whatever stimulus she's getting... It's just more obvious. I often give my GF a bad time for that... It's easy for her to tell when I might be in the mood for a romp, but not so easy for me to tell if she's in the mood. But she seems to always be in the mood, so it's not too much of an issue.  Plus she seems to be flattered when we kiss and she's confronted with physical proof of what her kisses do to me; she takes it as a compliment, not a threat. I think she'd be much more concerned if I DIDN'T react.

C


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## Snooring (Mar 10, 2011)

Thats guyz. My wife doesnt not have problem with it.
I was just wondering myself, we kiss, hug alot and sometimes I get hard and since we sometimes kiss and hug tight, I know she feels it hard.

I was just wondering what it might be in her mind (whether I always want sex when we do or not)
She enjoys the kissing and hugging and she sometimes says I turn her on which in my mind she is getting wet 

But not always when I get hard I initiate sex and again I was wondering whether she thinks I am acting not to want it or not.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Snooring said:


> Thats guyz. My wife doesnt not have problem with it.
> I was just wondering myself, we kiss, hug alot and sometimes I get hard and since we sometimes kiss and hug tight, I know she feels it hard.
> 
> I was just wondering what it might be in her mind (whether I always want sex when we do or not)
> ...


When my husband wants sex, he just tells me to assume my position, we don't play mind games. 

Just plainly tell your wife when you want sex, I guess you and your wife have a pretty healthy relationship. 

Talk to her, discuss with her, don't feel uncomfortable talking about sex with your wife. 

The great thing my husband and I have is we talk about sex like we talk about any topic. It is very natural for us. We tell each other when is good for us to have sex, what kind of position makes us feel great, etc etc. 

When you are comfortable talking about sex together, it can really bring you intimacy!


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## Snooring (Mar 10, 2011)

Sex is not a problemat all in my marriage at the moment!

When I want to have sex I get it, she love it too. the thing is even if I want to kiss or hug her without wanting to have sex at that moment I just get hard simply because the kiss and hug is just good and she is hot and we love each other. I know she gets wet too by how she reacts after the kiss, we enjoy kissing each other all the time

We hug and kiss all the time so I really do not want sex all the time. not a game. My mind and my penis works different lol
But I was wondering how a woman can inteprate because even if I know I do not want sex at some time I just get hard


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Snooring said:


> Sex is not a problemat all in my marriage at the moment!
> 
> When I want to have sex I get it, she love it too. the thing is even if I want to kiss or hug her without wanting to have sex at that moment I just get hard simply because the kiss and hug is just good and she is hot and we love each other. I know she gets wet too by how she reacts after the kiss, we enjoy kissing each other all the time
> 
> ...


You get hard when you kiss and hug, she gets wet when you stroke her, it only means you are healthy and you love each other, you have chemistry for each other! 

I don't know about your wife. When I am horny and I want sex, I just get my husband hard and take his virginity. There is no way that I will not tell him!


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## Snooring (Mar 10, 2011)

You are so right greenpearl. As I said earlier she sometimes telling me that I am making her horny. Sometimes she drag me to bed or want me right there 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Under that is just funny. A grown woman running from you. That's quite the visual.

Snooring when my husband gets hard (and I know about it) it's mine whether he wants it or not.  Okay so he could say no but usually he doesn't. I think an erection is a terrible thing to waste.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

To me it sounds like the basic question being asked is, Is it acceptable to pretend to be playing a game even when you are playing a game but it's a different game. 

I mean if your wife can't find her way around your erection w/o a GPS and a roadmap, then when WOULD a good time be? Else you'll be where I am where my wife has not so much as touched the back of hand in almost 20 years. She wouldn't know an erection at this point if she tripped over it and poked herself in the eye.

Be very careful of playing games like this.


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## Snooring (Mar 10, 2011)

Magnoliagal. I havent said she ran away from lol. She enjoys it. The reason for the post was wondering whether my wife consider it non sexual kiss or hugs while my penis is hard even thou I might not want it that particular time in my mind but my body says otherwise. Well sometimes I want it or she does want it even thou my intention was not that at the first place 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Snooring said:


> Magnoliagal. I havent said she ran away from lol. She enjoys it. The reason for the post was wondering whether my wife consider it non sexual kiss or hugs while my penis is hard even thou I might not want it that particular time in my mind but my body says otherwise. Well sometimes I want it or she does want it even thou my intention was not that at the first place
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That was aimed at undertheradar's post.

If you get hard then I would not consider it non sexual. Non sexual touching means just that it does not lead to sex or even arousal. I'm kinda the man in my marriage so the only way for me to do non sexual touching was to go solo before he got home otherwise just giving him a simple neck rub got me aroused.


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## Snooring (Mar 10, 2011)

Runslike a dog. Lets say yesterday we were not working because it was weekend. We had sex in the morning. Then throught the day we kiss and hug lets say about 15 times and most of the time I was hard, I went to the shop and kiss her I got hard. Do u think I would have wanted all the 15 times. But anyway we had sex again in the evening. Not a game
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

So you've having mutually satisfying intercourse more than once a day. 

The horror, the horror. 

Just chalk it up to being frisky all the time and establish with your wife, that while you're going to force the issue ALL the time, you're going to keep both your engines idling in the horny zone 'just in case'.

Hey my children are grown and mostly out of the house all the time. I work from home and the wifey doesn't have a job and mostly putters around the house doing lord knows what. You'd think that with a big empty house 2 people would be chasing each other around at least SOME of the time? But no. Her factory setting is 'up on blocks'. 

So if I were you I'd cherish those high idling engines and do it till the wheels fall off. What's the worse that can happen? You had buckets of sex? Aww that sucks, poor you.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

PBear said:


> Explain to your wife that an erection is basically an automatic reaction to some stimulus. It can be physical or it can be mental. It means that you're READY for sex, not that you're demanding or even asking for sex.


Based on talking to colleagues / friends, I think there are some women who expect their partners to be thinking of a fat, warty man grunting on the khazi when they're cuddling, so that women aren't "embarrassed" by his erection...:rofl:



> Plus she seems to be flattered when we kiss and she's confronted with physical proof of what her kisses do to me; she takes it as a compliment, not a threat. I think she'd be much more concerned if I DIDN'T react.
> 
> C


My wife likewise - if either one of us DIDN'T react, the alarm bells would go off!


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> When my husband wants sex, he just tells me to assume my position, we don't play mind games.


A lot of my friends would find the position she adopted was one with her hand raised, palm toward them, middle finger only extended:rofl:



> Just plainly tell your wife when you want sex


For a lot of blokes, they get the answer "I want doesn't get". And being assertive doesn't seem to help them a lot either!


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## rikithemonk (Jun 8, 2011)

Sawney Beane said:


> A lot of my friends would find the position she adopted was one with her hand raised, palm toward them, middle finger only extended:rofl:
> 
> 
> 
> For a lot of blokes, they get the answer "I want doesn't get". And being assertive doesn't seem to help them a lot either!


I want, Doesn't get? Seriously? What a "Sex as a weapon" mindset. Wow. Just, wow.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

rikithemonk said:


> I want, Doesn't get? Seriously? What a "Sex as a weapon" mindset. Wow. Just, wow.


Welcome the bit of the real world a lot of my friends inhabit.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Sawney Beane said:


> A lot of my friends would find the position she adopted was one with her hand raised, palm toward them, middle finger only extended:rofl:
> 
> 
> 
> For a lot of blokes, they get the answer "I want doesn't get". And being assertive doesn't seem to help them a lot either!


That's our joke!  When I hear this word from my husband, my position more often is doggy! 

I know Snooing and his wife have a loving relationship, so I know telling him that is OK! 

For a lot of male posters and some female posters here, I know that they are struggling a lot sexually, it is a shame. 

To me, sex is such a wonderful thing, it bonds my husband and me together emotionally and physically. But for a lot of others, they view it as a chore, they don't enjoy doing it. Don't know how to help them change their mindset, because they are happy without it!


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