# What do I do with husband's low libido?



## AAAAA (Jul 18, 2012)

We are happily married for 6 years so far and we love each other so much!

But when it comes to sex, it's always me being the one with more desire than my husband. It's almost 90% of the times was me initiating it and also me "working on him" instead of any romantic man-on-top foreplay that we usually see in movies (that I desire so badly).

With my initiation, we get to do it 3-4 times a month (sometimes 5). But if I don't initiate, mostly we do it twice a month only (and is the no foreplay type). and he sounds like a relief when I was in my period. 

He has a demanding job during the day (with intense computer works). This tired-from-work is used when we talk about lack of sex openly or when he tries to hint me no sex tonight. I understand it! well, I guess I only understand 80% of it. Because the thing is, he still gets home by 6 everyday,you know. 

When I initiated it through gentle kissing and flirty touching but without really "work on him", he would 100% reject me by pretending didn't get the "message" and gently telling me it's time to sleep. It's really frustrating and humiliating!!! But whenever I do the "work on him" things, every single time, he greatly welcomed it and looked really excited. 

I understand that man doesn't understand and care about women's feeling so much. But I thought a loving husband like mine would do better than that. The fact of his rejection and ignorance about my feelings/needs really hurts me. I have actually been trying to telling this to him and he would add one more time right after we talked about it, but after that, it all goes back to original. 

Can someone give me some good advice of what to do with it? I am really frustrated and don't want this sex thing hurts our relationship.


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## MWD (Jul 16, 2012)

Therapy for you and him. Talk to him gently about it and let him know that it is something that you need and can only do good for your relationship. 

-MWD


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## stupidGuy (Jul 13, 2012)

I was in exactly the same position as your husband some time ago (when it wasnt too late for our marriage yet). I can tell you what I felt like, of course, the situation with your husband might be totally different.

In very short terms, the situation was as follows, I was working hard in a demanding position and I would not want sex with my wife. She on the other hand kept trying to seduce me but too often I repulsed her. I knew that it was very frustrating and humiliating for her but the more she tried the more I didnt feel like exchanging any tenderness. This was only the beginning, after some amount of time I completely started to ignore her emotionally (I wasnt sure anymore whether or not I still loved her) - I took her for granted. At some point (It took years though) my neglect of her had ruined all the love that my wife had for me (and that was a lot of love). She told me one evening that she didnt love me anymore. That is exactly when I realized how much I actuall am in love with her. Now I have a broken heart and I miss my wife very much (also sexually).
This is my story but you have to draw your own conclusions from it. 

all the best...

PS: sorry for my poor English.


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## glowie (Jul 17, 2012)

Have you asked him if he has ED? I have gone through a simular situaltion in my marriage too. We have been married for 6 years also. I am 39, and he is 35. We have a four year old daughter that sleeps inbetween us every night. Anyways, we go for 4-5 months without having sex. I just got tired of initiating it, and sort of gived up after being turned down so many times through the years. However, after 14 years together I just found out that he had erectile dysfunction. I am very relieved that this isn't my fault. Maybe, you should confront him perhaps. You never know. Marriage isn't easy, but its worth every effort you can give. Good luck!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Has he always been like this or was there a change?


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