# Pregnant sex



## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

So, I recently found out that I am pregnant. While the husband and I wanted to eventually have a child, this condition was not exactly planned. I was on birth control at the time of conception.

We have spent the past 3 years going back and forth - "are we going to start trying this year?" , "are we ready financially, yet?" - "yes, no, it is never a good time"...

We both agree that although this news came as a surprise that it is a good surprise and if we labored over the details and tried to get ready, we would always have found excuses to wait a little longer to start trying.... so it is like a higher power made the decision for us.
So we are happy. We are excited. We are terrified. We are going to have a baby.

I haven't told anyone but our parents yet. (and you fine folks on TAM). I plan to wait until I am finished w/ the first trimester to tell my employers and friends.

Ok, now I am getting to the point of the thread....

Since I found out we have both been running the gamut of emotions. I think the feeling we have settled into is nervousness.

My husband has been so very sweet. Doing all the cooking, even though I have offered to do this on my regularly scheduled nights. I am very grateful for this because it seems I get nauseous at the drop of a hat, and cooking smells really seem to effect me the most.
He has been doing all the cleaning too, because he doesn't want me around chemicals in the mop water or the disinfectant spray. Again, I am really thankful for this! I hope he will continue for the next 7 or 8 months.

Please keep in mind that I didn't ask for any of this, but he is doing it on his own volition and seems very content to do so.

Anyway, I feel like he no longer views me as a sexual being anymore. We lay down in bed and there is no initiation, just sweet hand holding and hair stroking. He looks at me with this face that I haven't seen since our wedding day- so full of adoration. There is no question that he is in love with me, but I get no sense that he wants to make love to me. He never really did much initiating to begin with, I was always making the move to be intimate, but he would sometimes... now I feel like he is so timid and shy and treating me like I am so fragile.

The day before I took the home test, he and I had gone to the naughty store, as I had won a gift certificate from them. I bought a teddy and some lube and a new toy. They all still have the tags on them and haven't been opened.

I am afraid that his perception of me has changed forever. I am afraid as I get bigger and fatter with child he will desire me even less. I am afraid that after our baby comes he will just see me as this Mom person and not his hot and sexy wife, not to mention the toll this child will take on my physicality will never be remedied.

I don't want to project my insecurities on him, but I feel like in some ways our sex life will never be the same, and it wasn't as frequent as I would have liked to begin with.

Last year, when it had gotten so infrequent and stale, I thought there is no way it could get any worse, then I started to try and make it better by insisting that we do it 3 times a week and making myself as open and available as possible, buying lingerie, and being more attractive in general. Well, that worked for awhile, but see what kind of mess that got me in ( LOL, J/K)!?

For those of you women with children, did you go through this at all?
For you men with children, did you view your wife differently?

Did it get better?
Can it ever change back?


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Can't comment on the whole pregnancy outlook... but CONGRATS!!!!!!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

A lot of people are scared to have sex when they are pregnant, they are worried about hurting the baby, but if the baby is healthy, couples can still have regular sex. 

Right now it might be a good time for you and your husband to rekindle the passion you had before!  Let him spoil you also, . It is a great feeling. I never had it! 

Please make sure you eat a lot of fruit, fruit makes the baby's skin beautiful!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I was more horny when I was pregnant (some women get this , some don't) and my husband was thrilled with that, he says that is when he got the most. Didn't affect him at all. We did it right up until about 2 weeks before babies were due. Cowgirl and Spooning. 

Here is an article about some of the possibilities . Being your 1st child, he might be having some fears, as this would be normal. Why Men Don't Like Pregnant Sex | The Stir 

Congratulations by the way!! Nice he is stepping up and helping out so much and that adoration gaze, I bet you are shining. 

It can't be easy worrying about this & it's effects. Every man is so different. All you can do is keep wooing him & educate him as much as possible how love making with not harm the baby unless you have some unforseen complications arise with your cervix , etc (rare).


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> So, I recently found out that I am pregnant. While the husband and I wanted to eventually have a child, this condition was not exactly planned. I was on birth control at the time of conception.
> 
> We have spent the past 3 years going back and forth - "are we going to start trying this year?" , "are we ready financially, yet?" - "yes, no, it is never a good time"...
> 
> ...


Being an "invalid" for 9 months is going to get OLD. You can clean with normal cleaning products; dish liquid, dish washer soap, all purpose spray... once you feel like it.



> Please keep in mind that I didn't ask for any of this, but he is doing it on his own volition and seems very content to do so.
> 
> Anyway, I feel like he no longer views me as a sexual being anymore. We lay down in bed and there is no initiation, just sweet hand holding and hair stroking. He looks at me with this face that I haven't seen since our wedding day- so full of adoration. There is no question that he is in love with me, but I get no sense that he wants to make love to me. He never really did much initiating to begin with, I was always making the move to be intimate, but he would sometimes... now I feel like he is so timid and shy and treating me like I am so fragile.


OMG! He ADORES you. Capable of bearing a child! HIS child! Wow. Powerful stuff.



> The day before I took the home test, he and I had gone to the naughty store, as I had won a gift certificate from them. I bought a teddy and some lube and a new toy. They all still have the tags on them and haven't been opened.
> 
> I am afraid that his perception of me has changed forever. I am afraid as I get bigger and fatter with child he will desire me even less. I am afraid that after our baby comes he will just see me as this Mom person and not his hot and sexy wife, not to mention the toll this child will take on my physicality will never be remedied.


Not Gonna Happen. When your belly gets big, the amazement will only be more. And if that doesn't seep into sexy, I will be a monkey's uncle. I would bet he resumes feeling sexy toward you in the next week or two. You JUST learned. Feelings, hormones... for both of you. But even if he does not resume right away, it is not gone forever. Trust me on this one!



> I don't want to project my insecurities on him, but I feel like in some ways our sex life will never be the same, and it wasn't as frequent as I would have liked to begin with.
> 
> Last year, when it had gotten so infrequent and stale, I thought there is no way it could get any worse, then I started to try and make it better by insisting that we do it 3 times a week and making myself as open and available as possible, buying lingerie, and being more attractive in general. Well, that worked for awhile, but see what kind of mess that got me in ( LOL, J/K)!?
> 
> ...


It got WAY better. It got better than it was before and in our case it was never bad. In our case, it is hard to isolate the exact cause of the increase. Our whole relationship changed. Reading Passionate Marriage, learning about love languages and right fighting, learning about personal boundaries...The joy of the kids (after the sleep deprivation stage). All of these things came TOGETHER. I don't recall much about your marital situation aside from your dissatisfaction with sex. So it is hard to know what thoughts might work for you. But in my opinion, EVERY married couple ought to read Passionate Marriage, whether they are having trouble or not.

Congrats to you on your new little blessing. I am baby jonesing in the worst way, so if you are ever in VT and need a babysitter, I am your gal! 

S


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

When I got together with my OH, I already had two quite young children. He has since told me that after dating someone who had a child that he never wanted to date someone with kids again. Then he met me... and changed his mind. He always liked that although I had kids, I wasn't "mumsy." That I dressed the same and still was interested in the same stuff as before.

That's sort of looking at it a different way. I did worry when we had our first baby together that he might not find the pregnant me attractive. He did. That has never been an issue, and for me, my body had already been pregnant anyway so nothing has changed in that sense.

It hasn't affected how intimate we are either.

Maybe have a chat with him to explain your worries. He does sound sweet though


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## cubsfn (Sep 23, 2010)

Your husband is lucky is all I can say, when my wife got pregnant .. yeah she was done with sex during the pregnancy.


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> So.
> 
> Anyway, I feel like he no longer views me as a sexual being anymore. We lay down in bed and there is no initiation, just sweet hand holding and hair stroking. He looks at me with this face that I haven't seen since our wedding day- so full of adoration. There is no question that he is in love with me, but I get no sense that he wants to make love to me. He never really did much initiating to begin with, I was always making the move to be intimate, but he would sometimes... now I feel like he is so timid and shy and treating me like I am so fragile.


Not all men are turned off by pregnancy. I loved it both times my wife was pregnant and we had great sex almost to the end.


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## walter (Jan 19, 2011)

First, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! 
We didn't really have a great sex life before my wife got pregnant. The pregnancy increased her sex drive and although I had a high sex drive already seeing her horny drove me really crazy. Since it was her first pregnancy we knew nothing and were scared. We asked her gynecologist who said as long as both of us want it there is no problem. Maybe your husband is scared, too, and he's trying not to do anything wrong. Why don't you just talk about it with him honestly? If he is really such person as you wrote nothing wrong can happen!


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

CONGRATULATIONS.....

for me preggers sex was the best...and take a little advantage of the help now...its so cute..my husband is so protective of me during that time...i just basked in it

some positions will be uncomfortable..but thats all tthe fun isnt it??

good luck.....so happy for you...


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

I was on birth control and totally NOT ready to have children when we found out. Once that little person is in your arms and you fall head over heals in love with him/her you wont care if you were ready  I actually dropped to the floor and screamed "NOOOOOO!" when I found out. But if it wasn't and accident I don't think it would of ever happened and I am sooo very happy to be a Mommy and my children are a comfort when my husband is deployed because I am able to see glimpses of him in them.

Ok....so we had some pretty hot sex when I was pregnant. He called my tummy while it grew "The Baby Box". I was careful to stay in shape and still felt comfortable with my body for the most part even with a big belly. Like others mentioned play with positions and find out what works for you two


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

Aw....how sweet of your husband. And, congrats!

Same here with the sex...we did it up until I couldn't do much anymore. It was the best!


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

I didn't view my wife differently during her pregnancies. She was just as beautiful and desirable as ever to me. 
I would have had no problem having sex during her pregnancies but we never did. She had very hard, dramatic times, she was sick a lot, aches, sleeping horribly, etc. Needless to say, she wasn't much in the mood, I think during all of her her pregnancies, we had sex maybe 3 times total, and all in the first half of the pregnancies. 
I doubt he sees you differently, as in not sexual, its probably he's just high as a kite that you two are finally bringing life into the world, its some trippy stuff. From what you are describing about how you are experiencing some sickness and how empathetic he's been, he might be trying to be sensitive to that, and not want to pressure or initiate anything.


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

Thanks for the congratulations, guys!
We go for our first ultrasound today. I have a lot of questions for the doctor and hopefully, I can get some advice on how to stay in shape throughout the pregnancy and manage my nausea. I really want my body to bounce back quickly. I have been dieting for what seems like months and when I got weighed this week at the blood test I was heavier than I was before. =(
I think about adding another 20 pounds to the thickness of my figure and I am horrified! I want the best for the baby and the right nutrition, of course but I don't want to be fat!

I have been really sick too, not just in the morning, but what seems like all day. They are probably going to figure it out at work before I tell them, as I have been having to excuse myself every couple of hours to vomit. My morning sickness does not seem relegated only to the hours before noon. I have thrown up every night before bed and within a couple of hours after dinner. I try to keep it down, but I just can't. All I can do is apologize to my husband for being so gross. He says it is nothing to worry about and that he doesn't think I am gross, but I just feel so disgusting.
I have also been exhausted- like not normal after work exhausted, too. When I get home from work, all want to do is go to bed.

So all these symptoms might be what is also causing my H to shy away from physical touch. I mean, riding in the car makes me nauseous, I am sure the kind of romp my pu$$y is in the mood for would more than likely make me sick, too.
I can't imagine having to wait another 5 weeks for this to subside.
But then I will start to gain weight...

Last night, my husband said "I am sorry you aren't feeling well, honey" and then I said "Me too"- as if it were a subtle declaration that we wouldn't be having sex last night. And we didn't.

I want to though. I want to a lot. My hormones are a little crazy right now and it seems like I am horny all the time. I thought, before I found out I was pregnant, that it was just me hitting my peak because I recently turned 30, but I am beginning to think it is the pregnancy hormones.
As much as I really want to suck his pr!ck, I think that would definitely make me sick... that is our normal for play. We kiss for awhile and then I go down for awhile and then we do it for awhile.

*Women, do yo have any advice on how to get the ball rolling again with out me having to excuse myself in the middle to throw up?

Men , do you have any advice on how to talk to him about this stuff? 
*

I just want things to happen naturally, but I think my trepidation about getting ill and his shyness about my condition, we might never get there organically and sex might require some discussion, planning and ground rules for the next couple of weeks.
So much of my self esteem is wrapped up in whether or not my husband finds me desirable or not and whether I can please him sexually or not. Having orgasms through intercourse are imperative for me to feel normal and happy, so I can't go much longer w/o one, before I start to get really cranky.


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

Gosh, 242 views?


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> Gosh, 242 views?


Haha, too many? Probably because "pregnant sex" is a fetish :rofl: People read "kinky, kinky" :rofl:


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> *Women, do yo have any advice on how to get the ball rolling again with out me having to excuse myself in the middle to throw up?
> 
> *


I was sick with both my kids. The second one, I couldn't stand the smell of metal at all. My keys to the car and home made me puke. Couldn't wash my hands or touch doorknobs cause of metal either. My nose was just extremely sensitive to the smell of metal and blood (and flowers too!). I was on meds for the puking and that stuff didn't work. When I had to puke, I went.


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