# Suspicions



## Mommy_eubanks (Oct 15, 2011)

ok so... i have been with my husband for 4 years. we have been married for a year and a half. i have never had any reason to think he has ever cheated on me... and i still dont think he is... and i dont think he ever has... but he acts like he is hiding something... i am not allowed to get anywhere near his phone... everything has a password on it... he lies... about stupid stuff! well sometimes its stupid stuff... but he says he cant help it... he says if i think he is lying to call him out on it... but should i really have to? and i try that but when i do he keeps on and i have to drag what ever it is out of him... i hate being the nosy untrusting wife... i dont wanna be... i do trust him... i guess thats the problem... he doesnt understand that its hard for me to trust him about important stuff when he lies about stupid stuff.... if there was a patern of him only lying about stupid stuff then im sure i could get over it but he lies about important stuff to.. he lies when it would be easier and do him better to tell the truth...... i just dont know what to think... he acts so suspicious.... i have caught him in so many lies.... even lies about other girls... never anything about him doing anything with another woman.... just going and seeing them when he was supposed to be job hunting and..... stuff like that.... but still no signs of him actually cheating... even if he did cheat i think we could work it out.... i just hate the feeling of having no idea whats going on...... he seems so suspicious.... but theres never been any proof of cheating.... but hes hiding something... or at least he acts like it... and when i talk to him about it he gets deffensive..... he says he doesnt understand why i dont trust him.... he says he trusts me.... but hes constantly asking me if there is someone here at the house with me while hes gone.. he comes home and searches the house like he expects someone to be here or proof of someone being here..... i dont understand... i have cheated on him before but it was 4 years ago in high school... i havnt done it since and i wouldnt.... he says he forgave me... he says he doesnt even think about it.... but he brought it up during an argument one time.... i just dont understand... i feel like im not trusted when i dont even act suspicious.... i dont care if he goes through my stuff.. he knows my passwords to all my accounts, emails, phone, tablet, everything....... he even got suspicious when i tried something new while we were making love....... i feel untrusted.... and i have problems trusting him..... i try so hard because like i said there has never been proof or major signs of him actually cheating..... but he acts like he is hiding everything..... i cant even touch his phone.... he refuses to tell me any of his passwords unless its really important and he cant get in it himself.... im not even allowed to be friends with "his friends"... that are girls.... i think that when you are married its ok to have other friends of course.... but if the husband has girl friends then the wife should be able to be friends with them... and if the wife has guy friends.. the husband should be able to be friends with them.... unless they just choose not to be.... so idk.... i want to trust him.. i try..... but he acts like he is hiding something.... and he wont stop lying.... i dont know what to do.... trust is so important in marriage.... trust and communication..... we have communication..... we sorta have trust..... but.... ugh.... idk.... help?


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## loverforlife (Oct 18, 2011)

Get to the bottom of these issues. In time, you will only become more upset over this and the distance will increase if you dont address the issues. He should not be lying about where he is going and he shouldn't be going to visit other women. Maybe look into some counseling. Lastly, his phone shouldn't be off limits to you. He could have some type of porn stuff on there and he may not want you to see that, but it doesnt have to be another woman. In any case, you shouldn't feel insecure in a marriage. Talk to him openly...


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

If you cheated on him, he will never forget it. If he's hiding stuff on his phone, that's not good.

When I had me EA, I kept my phone with me all times (except for when I got caught obviously). The emails and texts were nonstop, all day, all night. Even on our anniversary. The lies I gave were also nonstop.

Demand transparency in return for you doing the same. Be prepared to find things you won't like. Check the phone bill for who he is calling and texting.


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