# Update: My mom being cut out of grand child's life



## New2marriage (Mar 21, 2012)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/family...her-feeling-left-out-new-grandchild-life.html

I wrote about this issue earlier the link is above for more background. Today we attended the Christening event for my niece. Things from the beginning did not start well at all. We (my mom, sister, my husband and I) arrived late to the church and missed the event but ended up going to the reception. From the moment we arrived there was an awkward tension but we were gracious and talked to everyone. 

Upon arrival my sister in law did not greet my mom. The baby was being held by her mother. My mom asked my brother if she could see the baby and he returned with his wife who was holding the now 5 month old. She talked to us for a bit about her progress and returned to her table with her entire immediate family. As I assumed the room was filled with her family and their friends. Her parents waved a hello to us briefly from a distance. When it was time for pictures by the cake. My brother and sister in law (with baby) took pictures with her mother, father, sister, and brother. We were not asked to take pictures with the baby even though we sat right by where they were taking pictures. The entire time my mother was not allowed to hold the baby even though my sister in laws mother held the baby during pictures and at the start of event. She did not push either because the impression she received is that she would be embarrassed if she did. We made small talk at the table with an old friend. But after some time I did not feel like staying as I could tell my mom really wanted to hold the baby but she understood that may not be possible.

Before we left we took a walk to the bathroom. It seemed my mom was planning a way to make a gracious exit. (I realized this afterwards). She stepped outside to gather herself returned and went over to the families table (which included her mom, dad, sister, brother, aunt(s), grandmother, my brother and sister in law) to say her goodbyes and one last attempt to see her grandchild. She thanked everyone and reached over to touch the baby's hand (who was being held by my brother) and he swiftly moved the baby away to the other side. She again said good bye and we left.

While there were many family members who were very nice who came over to say hi we couldn't help but feel as though we didn't need to be there. I should point out my brother did come by a couple times to talk and check in on us. My heart is heavy as I realize that we will most likely not be a part of this child's life. My mom felt slightly humiliated. I made it a point to send my sister in law a card in the mail wishing her a Happy First Mother's day prior to the event. But we are not fools. I would really like to get some perspective on this situation. I feel hurt, disappointed, ignored and confused. Could it also be that my brother is ashamed of us? We are not rich but we make a decent living. Her family is pretty well off are they looking down on us or is it because of our race.

Any perspective would be appreciated.


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