# HD = High(er) Drive, LD = Low(er) Drive



## hubbydude (May 15, 2014)

I've seen lots of discussions recently about HD / LD that I think would benefit from a slight change in understanding of what HD and LD mean.

We tend to use the term HD for High Desire and LD for Low Desire, and then get collectively caught up in our differing ideas of what is considered High and what is considered Low.

I think such conversations would benefit from adopting the clinical definitions of what consitutes High and Low.

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) is defined not by the quantity or quality of sex, but by the mismatch of sexual desire between two people. Therefore, HD refers to the Higher Desire person and LD the Lower Desire person. One couple's Lower Desire person may in fact have a higher sexual desire than another couples Higher Desire person, but they're still LD within the context of their own relationship.

Similarly, a couple may both have a relatively low desire for sex but if they are well matched then neither of them are HD or LD.

I'd suggest that recognizing HD as Higher Desire (not High Desire) and LD as Lower Desire (not Low Desire) would be helpful.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Hi, I get the impression after being here for a couple of years that this is already how most view the HD/LD terms. Most complaints are about mismatch of drives/desire levels, never heard anyone say we are both HD or both LD and unhappy.


----------



## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

Thanks HubbyDude! That was extremely helpful!


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Another issue that causes problems in understanding is that a lot of people think that if one spouse wants less sex than the other then they are LD. 

When we use the word 'drive' in relation to sex we are talking about how the hormones in your bodies drive us to have sex or not have it.

A large percentage of those who appear LD are not LD at all. They just do not want sex with their spouse very often or not at all.

These types of situations take a very different approach to change the marriage and to increase sex.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Another issue that causes problems in understanding is that a lot of people think that if one spouse wants less sex than the other then they are LD.
> 
> When we use the word 'drive' in relation to sex we are talking about how the hormones in your bodies drive us to have sex or not have it.
> 
> ...


You're getting at the other HD/LD with the "D" being desire to have sex with a specific partner.

It very possible for a person to be HD LD...high drive, low desire when it comes to their partners. I think we even have some cases here at TAM of LD HD...the ones where the partner does not want sex very often, but when they do have sex, it's very high quality, enthusiastic sex.

As far as the drive "D" D...that is usually presented here in relative terms, and most relationships will had a partner with a higher drive than the other, thus a relative HD/LD situation.


----------



## hubbydude (May 15, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> ...
> As far as the drive "D" D...that is usually presented here in relative terms, and most relationships will had a partner with a higher drive than the other, thus a relative HD/LD situation.


Correct. And in fact I should further clarify the definition of HSDD. It's only considered a sexual dysfunction if the mismatch in desire is causing problems in the relationship. If not, then it's not considered a sexual dysfunction (from the clinical perspective). At least that's my understanding.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

hubbydude said:


> Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) is defined not by the quantity or quality of sex, but by the mismatch of sexual desire between two people.


That is NOT the complete definition of HSDD. The woman who wants sex 5 times a week does not suffer from HSDD simply because her husband desires it twice as much. Even a quick look at Wikipedia produces this paragraph:

"Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) is considered a sexual dysfunction and is *characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity, as judged by a clinician*. For this to be regarded as a disorder, it must cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulties and not be better accounted for by another mental disorder, a drug (legal or illegal), or some other medical condition."

The clinical conditions of HSDD can be met by someone completely out of a relationship, as can the disorder part if it causes distress, even if you are alone.


----------

