# The frequency/quality debate



## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

The HD/LD conflict is probably the most-discussed topic on this board. But while frequency tends to be the barometer, any mention of quality is often omitted. So I'm curious: which are you more willing to sacrifice?

Edit:
Let's assume that the top and bottom options are not extreme, for example, top might be daily quickies with the occasional high-quality encounter, bottom might be occasional high quality with a quickie or two sprinkled throughout. (I'm not implying that quickies are, by definition, low quality... intense, passionate quickies are fantastic!)


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## 4x4 (Apr 15, 2014)

capncrunch said:


> The HD/LD conflict is probably the most-discussed topic on this board. But while frequency tends to be the barometer, any mention of quality is often omitted. So I'm curious: which are you more willing to sacrifice?


I'm pretty HD and I would give up quality before quantity. If I had to choose, I'd much rather have daily missionary than once a month chandler swinging.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Neither. It is entirely possible to have high quality AND high frequency. Maybe that doesn't happen EVERY time, but in our case it's at least 2/3rds of the time, and the rest of the time is good, never poor or unsatisfying. We average 7-10x per week, and wouldn't want to change that.


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## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

Married but Happy said:


> Neither. It is entirely possible to have high quality AND high frequency. Maybe that doesn't happen EVERY time, but in our case it's at least 2/3rds of the time, and the rest of the time is good, never poor or unsatisfying. We average 7-10x per week, and wouldn't want to change that.


Well yeah... this is more for HD/LD relationships. If you're HD/HD, more power to ya!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I'd almost go for neither too, but if I had to choose it would be quality over quantity. There is sort of an empty feeling when things don't work. Then when you do have great sex, it is such a wonderful high that makes your whole day and spills into the next day or two.

Right now fortunately, I don't have to worry about either. We are both very busy people but manage 3 x week and the quality is at least 9/10 times very high. I don't ask her every time, but by her reaction and thirst for more I know she agrees.

But.......as me and DW age, there's going to come more and more often when things don't work as well we will have to settle for less quality. That could be months away or years.

That's why practicing the fine arts of making out, finger sex, and touching, groping will come in handy. Those things can last forever..........


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

capncrunch said:


> Well yeah... this is more for HD/LD relationships. If you're HD/HD, more power to ya!


Ah, HD/LD! Okay, then speaking from the experience of my first marriage, I'd have chosen frequency over quality. The rare times we did have sex, the quality was pretty good, but in no way compensated for very low frequency.

I eventually chose to replace the LD with an HD, so there is no need to compromise anymore, and no choices to be made (as if there was one back then anyway!).


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> Ah, HD/LD! Okay, then speaking from the experience of my first marriage, I'd have chosen frequency over quality. The rare times we did have sex, the quality was pretty good, but in no way compensated for very low frequency.
> 
> I eventually chose to replace the LD with an HD, so there is no need to compromise anymore, and no choices to be made (as if there was one back then anyway!).


You're ace MBH. I always read your posts and nod due to the parallels. 

HD/HD here and we have exceptional quality AND quantity.

HD/LD in past marriage and I would have sacrificed quality to get more quantity.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I would sacrifice some frequency to have high quality sex. Blah sex or routine sex is entirely unappealing, and bad sex will eventually send my drive into hiding altogether.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

I would sacrafice quantity for quality to a point, but its not going to happen any time soon as my wife thinks our sex is just great and needs nothing. At least one of us is happy. 

Oh. We have sex 3-4x a week and its always over in 15 minutes or less. Her pace, not mine. She gets pissed when I take my time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

I am the HD, he is the LD. The quality has never been mind blowing. However the more I get the more I want, especially if it is really high quality, so I guess going for frequency is probably safer!


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

Lila said:


> I don't label us as HD/LD because we both seem to be on the same page as far as desire to have sex but.....
> 
> During a normal week, have sex 1-2x and 99% of the time it's high quality sex. It's passionate, physical, and intentional. For me, the quality strongly outweighs the quantity.



I'm with you. About the same only 2 to 3x at most. Never just once unless one of us is sick. Neither of us I'd say is HD or LD. I might be a little more wanting then her. She will keep up with me to make me happy but she like the build up. Judging by her orgasms in PIV I'll stay with her pace...lol


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