# depression, trust and facebook.



## thimbles

Hi all,

So, this morining my partner found a chat on my laptop that I have been having with a close female friend. 

When I was having the discussion, I was in a depressive episode, and so, from my perspective, I needed comforting.

My partner was understandably angry and upset.

I feel I have an addiction to talking in a flirtatious, sometimes sexual way to my close female friends, mainly during these down periods, and when I am not down, my sex drive appears to be almost zero.

I have tried to stop, deleting their numbers etc, but for some reason I find it tough to recognise when I'm starting on a down.

My partner also has depression, and feels its my fault she has body issues. When on a down, she almost completely shuts down.

When our relationship was very young (she even denies we were properly in a relationship) she cheated on me, and although I have forgiven her, forgetting is a different thing. She left me waiting at a train station for 4 hours waiting for her while she was with him.

When I say to her that this still affects me, she just tells me not to be so silly, that she was sorry she did it and the biggest mistake she has ever made, and it was so long ago.

My partner finds it tough to beleive I still love her because of this online flirting.

I stop at months at a time only reoccuring on a down patch.

I don't feel she understands me, but I know what I do is totally wrong. I hate myself for hurting her like this, but when I need comfort I don't know if I can go to her.


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## trey69

Seek help from a professional. Not sure if your relationship will survive or not, but you still need to seek help.


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## Yolandi

In the future, don't say things to other women that you wouldn't say right in front of your wife.

I'm sorry for your depression. Just remember, another person is not the answer for your unhappiness. Peace and joy are something that you have to find within yourself. Looking to others for these things will only leave you disappointed.


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## bevixnz

It comes down to basic respect and maturity. The above poster is dead correct, if you wouldn't want your partner reading it, don't say it. That will be cheap insurance to protect your relationship.

I also decided to delete facebook and haven't looked back. No more peer comparisons and competitions. No more unnecessary relationships with others. Just healthier IMO.


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## bevixnz

It comes down to basic respect and maturity. The above poster is dead correct, if you wouldn't want your partner reading it, don't say it. That will be cheap insurance to protect your relationship.

I also decided to delete facebook and haven't looked back. No more peer comparisons and competitions. No more unnecessary relationships with others. Just healthier IMO.


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## frusdil

Yolandi said:


> In the future, don't say things to other women that you wouldn't say right in front of your wife.


:iagree:

Depression doesn't give either of you a free pass to treat the other like crap.


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## FormerSelf

If you are prone to contact other women when you are depressed...then it means you are stuck in a cycle of relying on emotional affairs (and that's what these are, my friend) to feel better. Be brave and read on some info on love addiction...if you are unable to delete the numbers and let these online personalities go, then you ought to get some help.

Right now, you are using the excuse of your wife's past to fuel your justification that this is somehow okay. It's not cool...and you are causing tremendous damage to you and your wife. Walk away and go to a counselor.


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