# I'm losing everyone to cheating



## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Both my grandfathers were cheaters - both deceased now but hard to respect.

My father is a cheater - loss of respect and trust.

My husband is a cheater.......l

My brother is a cheater - same feelings as above.

Three of my friends are cheaters...

But now, my very, very close friend has informed me he is a cheater too. I tell him everything and now I am hurt again.

Is everyone who cheats untrustworthy or do they remain honest with some people and not with others? What has happened?

I thought I had at least chose good friends because of the dysfunction I have witnessed in my family but I guess I didn't. I am sooooo sad about this recent news.

He just keeps painting his wife as evil so he can justify his cheating. He did not want to hear that he was cake eating.

"She spent too much money at the grocery store"
"She wants me home to watch TV with her and I want to go out"
"She didn't hang up the coats that fell on the floor"
"She said I needed a haircut"

WTF?? This is what people spin in their heads as excuses for cheating. These are my friends that would never cheat, looked down on cheaters as weak and disgusting and now it's all fine and dandy!??

Oh, and make sure you tell ME all the ways you are sneaking around as if I have not heard ALL of them from my WS.

Just sad and disgusting. I know I lost a friend today and it is almost as painful as my own DDAY.
:

And I don't think he cares. If I don't agree with his choice he has no use for me. He wants to be given the OK.

Fvcking cheaters. Selfish a55holes. I hope they all get plowed by the Karma Bus.


----------



## Onmyway (Apr 25, 2012)

I know how you feel, my dad cheated on his mom, my brother in law cheated on his sister, my cousins wife cheated on her and she commited suicide, my wife cheated on me, there's two people at work having an A.

I want to see the karma bus hit a lot of people


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Did you ask him how his cheating solved any problems?

When people cheat, they have come to a point where they are so selfish that they truly do not care who they hurt as long as they get that fix.

There are some people who cheat, learn from it and return to being good people for the rest of their life. So hopefully at least some of these cheaters in your life will learn from their poor choices and become better people. We can only pray.


----------



## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Unfortunately, no one on my list is going to learn a thing. I'm quite certain.

And right now I don't care. I'm tired of trying to rationalize with the selfish. Is best for me to heal myself and not them.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Oh I was not suggesting that you help heal anyone but yourself.

Take care of yourself and work on being the best person you can be.

You might want to look into how to select friends, and a partner, who are much less likely to cheat.

A lot of it has to do with the effort put into a marriage. Take a look at the links in my signature block below for building a passionate marriage.


----------



## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Maybe its time for you to fly away, and become free---of that whole toxic group of people--

--there are lots of people out in the big wide world---who do not cheat----you need to go find them

Life can be good---if you surround yourself with the right people----those who you now have around you---they need to be DELETED from your life permanently


----------



## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Have you thought of doing the right thing and somehow letting his wife know so she can protect herself?

Maybe open a new email acct and let her know she needs an std test.


----------



## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)




----------



## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

He is not a real man more like slime. 

If he was he would either
Try and work on their problems or
File for divorce.

Pretty lame if you ask me. I hate my wife so I will just go bang someone else becuase I can.


----------



## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

Also failed to mention. 

You need to find new friends the ones you have now are bad infulence and losers.

Fine a nice open church or activity.


----------



## ohno (Jul 11, 2013)

Yep, try to find new friends. Cheaters should be treated like the cultural disease carriers that they are. In other words, there has to be a social consequence, and non-cheaters need to make their disrespect known. It is almost fashionable today to have an affair, and that is really sick.


----------



## life101 (Nov 18, 2012)

Rugs, welcome to the club. I still trust people, I only don't trust anymore that they will do the right thing.


----------



## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

The number one requirement for being a cheater is selfishness.
I worked hard to give my ex a home, new car, new clothes and clothing and schooling for the two children she said were fathered by me and weren't.
When she dumped me, she said I failed to give her "enough" of "anything".
Now she has nothing, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to say, I don't have her.


----------



## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

This person was not a friend to begin with if he could so easily discount your own pain by confiding in you about his betrayal. He really doesn't care who he hurts. Typical for cheater mindset.


----------



## workindad (May 7, 2011)

You have a male friend that you tell everything to. Interesting. Are you sure he isn't testing the waters with you? Seems like it follows some of the routines a player might use. 

Find new friends.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

It is upsetting and discouraging to see all the cheating, and the damage that results.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

workindad said:


> You have a male friend that you tell everything to. Interesting. Are you sure he isn't testing the waters with you? Seems like it follows some of the routines a player might use.
> 
> Find new friends.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good eye!


----------



## Burned (Jul 13, 2013)

Is everyone who cheats untrustworthy or do they remain honest with some people and not with others? What has happened?
-----------

I haven't had anybody break my trust and earn it back. Maybe it's my problem that I lose respect for that person and cut them out of my life. I'm weird like that.


----------



## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

workindad said:


> You have a male friend that you tell everything to. Interesting. Are you sure he isn't testing the waters with you? Seems like it follows some of the routines a player might use.
> 
> Find new friends.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



This guy has been a friend of my whole family for years. He has seen all my family stuff and I and my family have "seen" all his family stuff. He also now lives in another country so I really don't think he was showing an interest in me. 

It's just one of those people in your life that knows a lot about you and has been non-judgemental.

I think I am witnessing "the fog" that I never quite believed existed until now. 

He kept trying to defend and a situation with no defense.

He is still my friend but a piece has been torn off that can't be replaced.

I think he is going to ask his wife for a divorce and at least she will be able to move on.


----------



## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

Generally, it sure seems like it's on the rise to me.
Was looking up some "investigative items" for my situation and found a lot of places low or out of stock. 
It's disgusting isn't it?


----------



## GoBlue (Feb 21, 2013)

Sometimes being around family and friends with cheating issues almost makes it seem normal to me.

My dad, several times. The funny thing is, is that he is now on his 4th wife, and somehow she has kept him in line, and everything has stopped.

But I am often attracted to people who are VERY bad for me, and I wonder how much my childhood memories have to do with that. 

I am trying to rise above it and not let external factors control my future. I'm not sure how that will work out  

But I wish you well ♥


----------



## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

My brother in law cheats on his wife on a regular basis with 3 women (these women do not know each other). All the men in the fam. cheated at least once.
And i've seen how they've played the moral police once i told some outsider what my wife did, they expelled me from the family to protect their family honor.

So judging from experiance, i'd say cheating is not a mistake, it's a charakter flaw and therefor one is better off without such people. Nothing lost.


----------



## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Burned said:


> I haven't had anybody break my trust and earn it back. Maybe it's my problem that I lose respect for that person and cut them out of my life. I'm weird like that.


I wouldn't say that, that's a problem or weird. Best cause of action there is and i for one have a rly hard time doing just that.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Burned said:


> Is everyone who cheats untrustworthy or do they remain honest with some people and not with others? What has happened?
> -----------


Honest with some people? You mean like some of their partners and not others? I know a few who have cheated on their SO's. They are mostly men. They have a little more money and they have a little freedom because of the way they make a living. Trust-worthy, hmmm.

Do you know that gut feeling everyone talks about here and how you should trust it? I always had that feeling when I was around them. I don't know what that means. I've seen them do good jobs, but not great. I've seen them keep their word, carefully. Sometimes I had to call them on a promise made. Seemed they would try to get away without having to keep the promise. 

I've seen them do things for a price or a trade, but unless there was a tax right-off involved, it was never for free. 

They complained about the folks who had less money than them and looked down on those same folks. You would have to be in the inner circle of their friendship to know that. 

hmmm. I don't know. What do you think? I don't think everyone who cheats is like this. It's just an example I thought about.


----------

