# still waiting for it to get easier.....



## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

well...it has been a few days since I last posted something. I tend to do good until I get a text or call from my husband...then I am right back at square1. Here is part of our texting from the other night...

Hubby: I put $$$ in your account.
Me: Thank you, but why? Is it the tax refund? If not, you don't need to give me anything. I am fine.
Hubby: You told me to keep the tax return.
Me: I never said that. I am waiting for my half so that I can move.
Hubby:I guess I misunderstood. You wanted to file separate but you would have had to owe alot of money. So we did it jointly. The divorce is going to cost 1200, which I figured I would have to pay. I owe my parents 1500. Plus I have the huge urology bill that I have to pay. But whatever....I will give you what you think is fair.
Me: I thought the plan was to take the money that you owe your parents and pay them back and then we would split the rest half and half. I am so confused.
Hubby: I know you said it wasnt fair to me to file jointly. I am not going to fight you over this...I put more money in your acct.


I can't begin to tell you the emotions I was experiencing. I was so angry but shocked. I thought about giving him some of the money back...but my friends said that I better not. I deserve half of it. 

Then yesterday when I was talking with my MIL...she informed me that my hubby called her Wed. night. He was in alot of pain. My MIL told him that he needs to go to ER and if she hadn't of taken her sleeping pill...she would have come over to take him. He said he would just stay home. MIL then said...why don't you let me call Denise....she would take you to the hospital in an instant. Well...he was ADAMENT on her not callling me. Turns out...he took himself...and he contacted sepsis again. ( He was in the hospital in Oct. for kidney stones and sepsis..it was really bad). I was SO pissed off. I was so mad. I told my MIL that this whole situation sucks...but the one thing that we cannot change...is the fact that I am the mother of his children and we are going to have to get along...because I honestly am not going to be able to handle this for years to come...I wish he would stop thinking about himself for a minute and think about his kids.!! I am trying to be nice and civil in this situation. But it seems as if no matter what I do or don't do....he twists it all around....and somehow makes me to be the bad guy. I am not bad. I am human. I have made many many stupid mistakes. I have apologized a million times for those stupid mistakes....but he wont accept the apology so that we both can move on from this....I am so tired of all of this. I just want to get some sort of normalcy back in my life. Crying everyday sucks.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

I'm so sorry this is going so poorly for you. Hang in there! You don't have to answer this (maybe it will help though)----what mistakes have you made in the relationship?


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

I have made many mistakes in our marriage. We have always had money problems. Always. There just never seemed to be enough money to pay all the bills. 2 years ago, my husband's income was approx. decreased by 10,000. Gas increased. House pymt. increased...etc. I was in charge of paying the bills and there never was enough. Last year, I got behind on our mortgage pymt. I kept it to myself thinking that I would just double up the next month...but then the next month would come and there wouldnt be enough...and it snowballed from there. Super fast. I knew I had to tell him.....this was a major thing. But I couldn't find a way to tell him....till we got the letter saying that we either pay the past due or the house was going to go into foreclosure. We had talked about walking away from our house...but this wasnt the way he wanted it to happen. I think that is what started all of this mess....after I told him we did the paperwork to try and qualify for a modification...things seemed to be looking up. Then I got jealous and thought he was having an affair because he was talking to this girl at work all the time and even loaned her money because she was having problems paying her electric bill....I know what I did what wrong. I have apologized over and over. And I know he has every right to feel the way he does....but I dont even think it is about that anymore. I have no idea what it's about.


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