# My separation and probably divorce



## Oscarquevedo83 (Jul 31, 2016)

Well my story is complicated, I'm being married for 3 years and 5 in total, we had a lot of ups and downs, but always work it out, she is an passive aggressive person, before me, she was in a abusive relationship for almost 4 years, and she carry a lot of that to our relationship, i always support her, even when she mis treat me, hit me one, and she verbally offended me, when we married she changed, she was good and loving, but she always had those moments, and I grow tired and start getting insecure and needy, and sometimes aggressive, but i never touched her, and exactly is been 1 month and half, she told me first that she need space, that she doesn't love me anymore, that she feels empty inside and don't want to be in the relationship, that hit me hard and took me a few days to actually get my head clear, but she agreed to stay in the house, but I noticed that she spent hours at the phone, talking with her friend, and even one day we had an argument and she ran from the house for 2 days, the she comes back and she told me that she is with no one, she was in her friend house. But 3 days later I saw her phone and she have her friend name twice, and that rise red flags,!she was having and affair emotional with one of my co worker, my best friend, she is lesbian, and we are in the same platoon, cause I'm in the army. That completely destroyed me, and I snapped and she told me that shw was having feelings towards her, but she don't want to be in a relationship with a women, that she was curious and she had that fantasy since she was a little girl. 2 days later ahe left the house and she went to her grandmother house in florida, and she started a new job 3 weeks ago, she has being going out with her best friend(female), and she erase me from Facebook, change her last name to her single one, and deleted my parents and some of my photos, but she still have post and photos with me, and we are only talking about financial matters only. Im planing go there by the end of August and file the divorce, my parents told me that wait, but something told me that she is having and afair, I'm being doing limited contact and not beg or asking her for her return. And is being 1 month and 1 week, se call me with a pasive voice, and she told me that she miss the bed, pillows and her wii u, i just told her that i will mail the rest of her stuff or bring to her when i going to florida, to file the divorce, and she told me that she.don't want to talk about that, she continued calling me that day, and every time that I mentioned the divorce she said that don't want to talk about that. She is back to her old job, and she told them that she failed to adapt to the military life, and we are separate for the moment bla bla bla. She is willing to sign the separation of property, but now I'm afraid that she don't want to sign the divorce. Anyway i will find out that in 3 weeks. Thanks in advance for any input.


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## Ytsejamer1 (Aug 14, 2016)

I'm new here, please be gentle. But it sounds like the ball is rolling already and you're at relative peace with that decision. I've been divorced once and looks like marriage #2 is on the rocks. One thing I'd recommend is be as respectful and nice as you possibly can until at least you get what you want - papers to be signed with as little material and financial loss as possible. If you can do it without lawyers, all the better. They're the only ones that make out better than either of you will. If you can handle yourself well, with confidence, and with caring, please do so. Once things are settled, you can really confront her as the last things are tied up (picking up the last of the possessions).

It's going to suck, but life will go on for the both of you. Just be you and work on anything you can to keep occupied. I dunno...I always try and be a better person because if not, it only makes the inevitable path a LOT more rocky and difficult.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Your story is not complicated but typical. She was seeing someone else the grass looked greener but wasn't. 

You don't have much time invested and no children.

File for divorce. You can never trust her. 

There are better out there.


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