# Her Online Game - iPhone Kingdom of Camelot and Touch



## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

I've been with my other half for 14 years, engaged and planned on getting married early next year.

2 kids 8 and 2.5.

On her side she has always told little white lies that are not needed. She has always been very suspicious by always checking my phone and not letting myself headout for work drinks on the first friday of the month. It was even at the point where she would kick up about myself every so often heading out on the boat with the old man.

I have always had 100% fidelity and been very clear with women a clear sorry when I have been asked out.

I was fine with her controlling nature as she was clearly insecure and I respected her opinions and thoughts. I loved her dearly and would do anything for her.

Around 1.5 years ago I introduced her to an iPhone game called Kingdom of Camelot (world kay2) that I used to play on the bus on the way to work. At first we played together in the same alliance helped each other. I then quit as it became boring, she continued.

Around 3 months ago I noticed she was spending a LOT of time on it, started sleeping on the lounge and staying up until early hours of the morning + drinking a LOT as well as always stating she was feeling anxious etc. I suspected depression as she has had it in the past, she kept stating all was fine. 
From there it all happened very quickly.

I figured if you can't beat em' join em. So I logged back in and attempted to join her Alliance, I was booted and she became exceptionally angry. I was confused and couldn't understand the change in behavior.

Flicked on with the packet logger (wifi) and soon to follow was the iphone logger.

Busted sharing pics, dirty talk and even beginning to discuss the rendezvou with the 'internet' lover via an app called touch and it didn't look like it was slowing down.

At that time we had an argument over her being protective of her phone but importantly the dramatic change in behavior around the phone. She became violent when I managed to pick the phone up one day, would snipe at me for little things - I didn't realise you could stack a dishwasher 'wrong'.

She asked for space so she got it. She threw her self deeper in to this 'internet' affair. At this point my head was absolutely spinning. The thoughts of future, her with another man that ran through my head, the kids etc I was completely distraught.

All our plans including marriage and trying for a 3rd baby just disappeared the moment I saw those logs. She was a completely different woman, not the innocent trustworthy woman I once knew and loved.

Upon my return 3 days later, I split my pay in to my own account that she didn't have access to she 'claims' she was sorry cried etc. The game/touch continued, just not as much even though I asked for it to be removed and never go back in.

At this point I began to become a little obsessive with trying to catch her out again as I simply wanted it to be over.

She now appear to have flicked back to normal and cries a lot as she doesn't know/understand why she was the way she was.

But the lies are still there.....

I asked that she throw that new underwear out, she said she did but she simply hid it. I confronted her about it, following the usual immediate attempt at a lie she confessed that she still had it but will throw it out.

Heading interstate on work soon, now she's worried to death that I will revenge cheat.

I am tired of my obsessive thoughts and visualizations and can see that it is pushing myself in to depression and impacting work severely.
It feels as though revenge cheat is the answer for my own sanity I feel.

Then break it off - I don't want to be with a woman I can't trust or feel she has the need to lie about almost everything due to issues from her childhood and poor parenting.

Empathy, support and trying to help the one you love I feel has to end some where for your own sanity.

Any support/ideas or people in similar situations it would be great to hear from.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You need her to end the affair. It sounds like she's still at it, only better hidden.


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## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

Balls in her court then. I've talked and talked to her. She says one thing and sneakily does the other.

Confusing part is why would she still hang on?

I feel I just can't leave for the kids.


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## strongsad (Mar 2, 2013)

The game and any phone privacy has to go, your right.

Kick her out of the house for a while. It worked for me, my ww confessed to things you wouldn't believe and broke all contact with the om, started counseling, all sorts of things to show me she wanted me, then I let her come back.

I wouldn't revenge cheat, I know that I would regret doing that. If I wanted sex with other women I wouldn't be married anymore.


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## livinfree (Sep 7, 2012)

Geez that magic 14-15 year itch

It sounds like there is a chance for a remorseful R if you've caught this early enough. 

If she's completely detached from you emotionally and/or the OM is single, your chances are very slim. I was in the similar situation, but I waited too long to draw the line in the sand.

Sorry you're here


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

My wife cheated the same way, just another game. I dumped her on dday. No terms for R. I simply dumped her. said it was over because she ended it. She begged her way back in. Demonstrated her remorse and willingness to work on R by doing the things required. Then I agreed to try for R. We've been reconciling for 8 months now. Its not perfect. A situation like this never can be, but it demonstrates one thing. You have to be willing to lay it all down in order to save what you have left. If you waver so will she. You have to get her out of the fog and the only way is by introducing a harsh reality. A reality so bad that if she doesn't come out of the fog there won't be anything to come out for. She's had a moment of weakness. Now you must be strong for her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

I wonder if I am obsessing to much and thinking the worse.

~3weeks after finding out the other half was having an affair online and had discussed meeting the guy work drags me away interstate for 6 days including a weekend.

A few days prior to going away the other half advised she had planned to meet the guy then second thought and decided no.

The day before i left she was crying a lot cuddling me and made mention I won't have to worry about her soon. Gut feeling told me something was wrong and for some reason i suspected she was possibly going to meet the guy.

The welcome home kiss i gave her after work was a closed moth one. 

I asked if she will call/contact me during the saturday night (my first night away) and she started to make excuses. What if I am down the shops/servo/bottle shop and oh you don't need to speak to me i'll just say good night at 7am.

Initially her cousin would come to our house and they would have a few drinks. That changed to sending the oldest to her place and then she would go to her dads for a few drinks/dinner

Left the airport the next day (red eye flight) and again a closed mouth one.

Alarm bells began to rang. Just that gut feeling again.

So myself being myself, I dropped a GPS in to the car to see where she went.

The GPS displayed the car up north of the city near some appt blocks for a couple of hours. I called her a few times until eventually she answered and it was dead quiet.

Oh where are you now i asked. she said H&&&& street in the city. I called bull**** and said your at X (i couldn't help myself) plus the street she said she was on is a main street in the city and noisy as hell.

Next moment, 'oh dont do this to me, thats not true the car is at the car park'. I said well go check the cars been pinched then.

She then said the phone was going flat and she would call later, said she loved me as she cried and ended the call. She turned off the phone.

An hour later the car was moved in to a main car park in the city and stayed there until 8:30am the next morning.

I had a chat to her old man to see where she was. He made mention that I need to trust her (WTF after what has gone on and he knows as well) and that he lets his missus go out with male friends until x hours in the morning. He then quickly changed the story to she went out with some old friend with kids (a girl).

Now she hasn't spoke to this girl for years, I checked phone records, no call to her and no sms. I smell BS.

I slept **** that night and my world again turned up side down with no contact from her of which she said she would.

I went through a range of emotions. I felt like throwing in my well paid job and even booked a $500 flight home called the old lady at 2am in the morning said i'd had enough and have to come home. (sounds childish but damn it rips your heart out). The old man spoke to me and put my head in the right place. "Make a decision what you are going to do (i.e piss her off) then stick to it and focus on work", don't let her stuff that for you too as when/if things do break off that will be what will help you through.

She sent a txt message saying she's ok in the morning at 7:54 and i asked where she had been. She said she went to the casino with her girl friend and then caught a cab home. I asked how much to get home she said $27. Now its actually $39 from the city so again bull****.

Now its a Sunday morning, she got in to the city and moved the car around 8:30, the first bus from home to the city doesn't get there in time so again BS. Call records indicate she made the call from the city center at 7:53am. Not up home.

She then made mention that she got a call from the lady over the back saying the dog was barking all night.
I quickly said.. well you said you were home at 1-2am so thats bullcrap then isn't it.. "oh yeah it is in a not so convincing voice"

Strangely I got a bit of a gut feeling that morning that she still did love me as she wasn't really cold but was aggressive when questioned. The thought that ran through my head was she caught up with him, thought afterwards and really didn't like him. Unsure. Its just another gut feeling or maybe just wishful. 

So a few scenarios.

1. She caught up with that bloke
2. She went out alone and maybe went home with some other bloke
3. She went out by herself and didn't hook up with anyone just played the pokies. All though she did make mention she was playing roulette, I know thats not her she always plays the pokies. So she was with some one else no doubt.
4. She referred to everything about the night as I, so she either went out by her self or was being careful not to say we due to feeling guilty she was out with another bloke being.

I told her about the bus not getting there early enough. She faltered and said well I caught a bus, then the time line pushed out 1hr again of which is untrue because call records display where the call was made from. She pulls the whole guilt trip on me and says i'm over analyzing everything.

She then got rather aggressive and swore quite a bit at me so I ended the call.

1 hr later i call her back and request she doesn't contact me until thursday when I return where we can have a chat and discuss how we are moving forward.

So that was last night, all today she kept sending the odd message "I know you hate me" "this is hard" "i love you" and feeding messages through the young lad to tell me she loves me.

I've set the phone to autoreject her calls but it doesn't work for sms's so I instantly delete.

Now.. thinking back to the lies and then the disrespect after everything and not even going to a phone box to tell me she will be going out Sat night is just BS.

The gut feeling hasn't let me down yet and damn its telling me she may have actually caught up with this guy finally the other night.

So when I return, I will request NC for 3 months. Completely separate finances and I will head back home with the oldies and do a crap load fishing with the old man. We can then re-eval at 3months. Hopefully at that point she is independent enough to make a clear decision. Maybe considering R at this point is still a mistake.

Damn I hope I can stick to the above thoughts when I see her in person. So freekin hard and so painful.

I just hope I am not over reacting, I keep telling myself to help:

1. If it wasn't for the kids she probably wouldn't be here now as she has said she was looking at the boys and thinking about them not having their dad around would make her cry. So when the kids are not a concern as they are older - whats stopping her then.
2. The lies she said to my face when I knew exactly what was going on
3. When initially requesting she remove the game and touch comms app she was aggressive and stated "Why should I" until I started walking out the door.
4. Contact with the guy continued for some time after, I now cannot tell if there is still contact as the logging is gone.
5. The lies that she pulled sat night that were without a doubt premeditated.
6. sex only usually occurs when she is pissed, and half the time its a dead root anyway. 

I really do feel its over and going soft with NC to start with is really helping me get my head together and realise I really don't need her and I am so much better off without her.

Today was the first day in about a month where I was actually productive and perky at work.

This time away with work is also helping the kids adjust 'softly' for when I do make the break when I return to home.

I believe she may be adjusting to become a *cake eater. *

Does any of the above remind you of what you guys/gals have been through that ended up a real lie. 

In such situations have you had that gut feeling and found out it really was overreacting?

I was on the path to R until Sat night. Now I feel its just not possible.

Still confused but on the right path I feel.


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## BK23 (Apr 17, 2013)

That's terrible. So sorry to hear things took a turn for the worse. She is treating you abominably, and I think you can be much happier without her. It's better the kids grow up in a divided household than under one roof in which they see their father cuckolded and miserable.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

You must file. Like yesterday. She's gone and openly disrespecting you so cruelly.
3 mothns NC? Bull. Move on.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

You are making provisions for support of your children I hope. But it appears you have dodged a huge bullet by not marrying the mother.

I have no idea if this has any value or credibility, but I have seen women go absolutely wacko after the birth of a second child. Don't know why it happens, but I have seen it too many times to be a coincidence. Sadly, most of these woman take their infidelity to the point of no return where no self respecting man will stay with them.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

strongsad said:


> The game and any phone privacy has to go, your right.
> 
> Kick her out of the house for a while. It worked for me, my ww confessed to things you wouldn't believe and broke all contact with the om, started counseling, all sorts of things to show me she wanted me, then I let her come back.
> 
> I wouldn't revenge cheat, I know that I would regret doing that. If I wanted sex with other women I wouldn't be married anymore.


I agree...








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

> :
> 
> 1. If it wasn't for the kids she probably wouldn't be here now as she has said she was looking at the boys and thinking about them not having their dad around would make her cry. So when the kids are not a concern as they are older - whats stopping her then.


Two things, stick to your guns so she understands consequences. Then make sure she understands the BOYS WILL have their father around, it will be sad when their mother is gone.

She probably grew up watching her mom be aggressive, controlling and running the relationship. She expected you to fold like her dad. Sounds like she is acting like her mother, if you BELIEVE her dad lets her mom hang out with men all hours of the night.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Sounds like she not only met up with him, but she spent the whole night with him.

If she wants to avoid D she needs to take a pass a polygraph that she stated true this week. You know from her blatant and constant lies that she's very guilty. At least she didn't have him in your bed.

Forget the NC stuff. Return home and live in your own house. Cut her off from money, and cut off her expensive data service and turnoff wifi at home. Why should you be paying for her to continue cheating.

And file for D ASAP. Do not move out.


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## livinfree (Sep 7, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Do not move out.


Seriously. Claim your marital home and marital bed.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

She met up with the guy while you were away. This is just about 100% certain. I lost track of how many little lies you caught her in while she was trying to explain her whereabouts and the timing of her phone calls. So please stick with the only story that makes sense - she hooked up with this guy.

You have two young children and if you want to reconcile, moving out is the wrong way to go about it. Your girlfriend will continue to cheat on you, you will find out about it, and it will kill any chance you have of reconciling. It's not fair, but if you want any chance to reconcile, you have to be the one to break up your girlfriend's affair.

Go back home. Tell your girlfriend that you love her, tell her you want to improve your legitimate faults and your relationship, and you will do what's necessary to do so, but not if she is continuing to lie to you so blatantly and obviously and continue to cheat on you. Tell her you are offended that she can't even come up with a good lie to tell you. Tell her you are willing to give her one more chance, but she has to meet all of your conditions. Tell her you KNOW she cheated on you and tell her that one of your conditions is that she confess the cheating.

Another condition is to give you all details you need.

Others include ceasing all contact with the guy and allowing you to verify it by monitoring her communication devices and accounts. She gives you all passwords. She handwrites the other guy a no contact letter and gives it to you to read, make a copy, and mail certified mail

She also stops deleting any messages. She deletes all apps that she uses to play games. She blocks other man on facebook she changes her phone number.

Find out about the other man and expose him to his wife, girlfriend, close family and friends - let them know he is messing with a woman in a committed relationship and breaking up a young family and ask them to discourage him. Do not tell your girlfriend you are doing this, just do it.

If your girlfriend doesn't agree to your conditions, expose her affair to your close family and friends, tell them she had an affair and refuses to end it or she refuses to let you verify it, tell them who the affair partner is by name, and ask them to talk to her to encourage her to give up the affair and work on the relationship.

Next, pack up all her stuff in trash bags, put them in the car, and tell her to call the other man, that you're taking her over to his place, good luck, good bye, she's his problem now, you hope she doesn't regret it, because you don't plan on waiting around to see how it works out for her with this guy, you're moving on. 

It sounds like right now she is enjoying the extra attention this guy provides and the infatuation/crush of a new relationship. She will not want to give this up easily, but neither will she want to give you up. She will want to see how things go with this new guy before leaving you.

You must break up this affair if you want to see if you even have a chance to reconcile. You do that by making the affair extremely uncomfortable for the other man, getting him to throw your girlfriend under the bus, and/or by giving your girlfriend a healthy dose of reality to intrude upon the fantasy life she may be imagining with the other man. Truth is, life with other man is not going to be very much different than life with you, she still will have to do the same chores and have the same pressures, maybe even multiplied, while right now she associates all of that with you and not with him.


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## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

Thanks guys. All very good advice.

The story has changed now to that she went out completely by her self (casino), slept in the car and drove him in the morning. Got home found some nice new lacy underwear.

All money is now cut off and I've moved back to the parents.

The I'm leaving and packing all my stuff really hit her hard. She was constantly crying telling me she was sorry for hurting me and it would never do it again and has now asked we go to counseling of which when I previously suggested she said a flat no.

I requested I log her phone but she became aggressive and said i need to trust her, if she wanted to do something she would do it with another phone or prepaid.

At this point I told her, so be it, I've placed my request to help the relationship and she has declined.

She suggested we go out for dinner tonight, I agreed but honestly I am now feeling quite flat towards her and feel like I don't want to spend a cent on her.

I'll see how things go but being around the oldies and family again is perking me up. 

I'll give it one last hit with counseling and will keep pushing the removal of privacy from her phone.

The comment about women going wacko after their second child. I've seen very much the same, thinking back that it was a little post-natal depression that has recently led on to more depression, us two drifting apart and then EA possibly PA.

I really think I am done with her. Just tired of the stress, pain and heavy upper chest feeling she has caused over the last month or so of this horrible experience.

Thanks guys, really appreciate the advice from many different angles and experiences.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

scorp79 said:


> I requested I log her phone but *she became aggressive and said i need to trust her*, if she wanted to do something she would do it with another phone or prepaid.


Please, don't her insult you anymore.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Make her pay for dinner and for a polygraph


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

scorp79 said:


> Balls in her court then. I've talked and talked to her. She says one thing and sneakily does the other.
> 
> Confusing part is why would she still hang on?
> 
> I feel I just can't leave for the kids.


Then stay and take her betrayals. 

Tough choice, I know, but that's the reality.

I say separate for 90 days and then see how everyone feels. See if she can stay faithful.


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## dsGrazzl3D (Apr 22, 2013)

scorp79 said:


> I've been with my other half for 14 years, engaged and planned on getting married early next year.


WOW... I'm the 1st person to call this out!?!? OP 1st statement was about _possibly getting married_, but not yet official!?!? Please don't go through with it! -I had to say this since did not _"officially"_ see it anywhere else?!?




scorp79 said:


> The story has changed now to that she went out completely by her self (casino), slept in the car and drove him in the morning. Got home found some nice new lacy underwear.
> The I'm leaving and packing all my stuff really hit her hard. She was constantly crying telling me she was sorry for hurting me and it would never do it again and has now asked we go to counseling of which when I previously suggested she said a flat no.
> 
> I'll see how things go but being around the oldies and family again is perking me up.
> ...



<cut from another thread>
Only these three things (willingness to be open, honest, and have respect) could allow ANY relationship to be fruitful... If you do not start and hold all three qualities, then that relationship will have MAJOR problems. I am sorry that anybody has to be here in CWI. 
Good Luck & Please keep the kids in mind! You have to be a good dad & remember that she will also ALWAYS be their mother!?!?!


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Although leaving is bad for R and bad for kids, you may shock her into a real confession. If is serious, she needs to sit down and write up a timeline of the affair, including all the gritty details. When did she buy the lacy undies? What did she think about when he proposed meeting or did she propose it? What sex acts? What does he look like?

The history will create more questions and you need to keep digging. If she doesn't come clean about the whole thing, you cannot bother with R.

Just to give her a different perspective, ask her if she would still like the two of you to marry. She might take that as a hopeful sign. But the follow up question is would she want to marry a man so weak that he would reward cheating with an engagement ring?

Her previous suspicious controlling behavior makes her look worse than hypocritical. How about fvcked up?


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

scorp79 said:


> Thanks guys. All very good advice.
> 
> The story has changed now to that she went out completely by her self (casino), slept in the car and* drove him in the morning*. Got home found some nice new lacy underwear.
> 
> ...


What did you mean by "drove him in the morning"? She drove to his house? Did she admit to sex with him? At this point, you really have to assume she has been having sex with him. The panties you found are new ones? So she threw out the old "new" lace panties and then replaced them with new "new" lace panties, or she never threw out the other ones, as promised?

You are making a mistake by seeing her. Tell her you need her to dump the other guy and let you verify it. Handwrite a no contact letter and give it to you to mail. Change cell phone number. Block him on facebook. Give you access and passwords to all accounts and devices. Those are the minimum requirements for continuing your relationship with her. Ask her why should you continue in the relationship if you think she is lying to you and banging another guy? By her own admission, her story keeps changing, this latest story and stories she's told you in the past.

She seems very confident in her ability to manipulate you. You said she's always told you lies about inconsequential things and I guess she never realized that you didn't believe her lies, that you just didn't care enough to call her on them. The way you post about her she seems a bit pathological. Is this woman right in the head?

If you didn't have two young kids and a long history, I would tell you to dump her.

Stay in your house, let her move out. And put a voice-activated recorder in her car. You will get your answer about exactly what she is up to within a few days.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

dsGrazzl3D said:


> WOW... I'm the 1st person to call this out!?!? OP 1st statement was about _possibly getting married_, but not yet official!?!? Please don't go through with it! -I had to say this since did not _"officially"_ see it anywhere else?!?


 He wrote it in the past tense. He "planned" on getting married and his decision changed when this whole situation occurred.

There really isn't anything to call out. 14 years means no hasty decisions including getting or not getting married before you find out the whole truth.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Will, you are underestimating Scorp. This guy is a take charge guy. His common-law wife is going to be divorced at high speed. His decision to ditch the family for awhile would not be my way of doing things. I would want to stay close to my kids at such a time. Nonetheless, his going dark ought break her resistance.

Wonder who owns the house? Sounds like she will have to lawyer up to get much out of him. The lack of a good sex life was something he tolerated – maybe he played a part in its failure – but now it's a strike against even trying to R. Its sounds as if her stupidity is not making her sexy. Who wants to bet on dumb genes?

One might suppose that his timeout will facilitate her cheating, but she has two small children to care for. Don't remember if they were in daycare. That would give her time to mess around. He may still be able to track her car.

Will be interesting to see what the equivalent of D papers for a common-law marriage like this.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Always get a kick out of cheating spouses that say you need to trust them.


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## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

Will_Kane said:


> What did you mean by "drove him in the morning"? She drove to his house?


Completely didn't mean to type that, must have been what I was possibly thinking occurred. She drove 'home' in the morning.

The old red ones were thrown out, I saw her drop them in the bin. These were new black ones.

I now have a voice activated recorder.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

You still need proof ?


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## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> Will, you are underestimating Scorp. This guy is a take charge guy. His common-law wife is going to be divorced at high speed. His decision to ditch the family for awhile would not be my way of doing things. I would want to stay close to my kids at such a time. Nonetheless, his going dark ought break her resistance.
> 
> Wonder who owns the house? Sounds like she will have to lawyer up to get much out of him. The lack of a good sex life was something he tolerated – maybe he played a part in its failure – but now it's a strike against even trying to R. Its sounds as if her stupidity is not making her sexy. Who wants to bet on dumb genes?
> 
> ...


Definitely not disappearing from the kids. I've seen them every day as I pop in after work and the oldest has been staying with me up until last night when I thought it was best he head home to see his mum.

She works from home and always has kids around for 4/5 days during the week, nothing stopping her on the other days dropping the kids off at relatives though, but to be honest I'm now numb, I've given it my best shot that's all that matters.

It has since been some time, I've now got my head together, eyes no longer feel puffy and hot from slight watering. 
I cannot see myself going back. We have notified the FAO that we will be doing 50/50 care and it kicks off next week.

An appointment with the lawyer is early next week to sort out the financials. 

No disrespect to her or family but she isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, neither is her brother or old man. 

What really whacks me out though is I've skyped her a few times and she has got all dirty on skype with me, obviously i recorded and took a few pics of it. lol. I really think she is just in a really bad space since our last kid, never really bounced back since her mum passed away and then last child. After the last child she hit the booze hard and no matter what she just wouldn't stop. To the point where she would hide it.

Whats one to do.

Warlock - no mate, I don't need proof I am now over it, the voice recorder has already been used, I couldn't careless if she did or didn't sleep with the guy. I've seen/read/heard and been lied to enough to know she stepped over the line and I don't want to be with a woman of her moral values.

Mental health - there has to be a point where you reflect and look after yourself by checking out.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

sad


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

> Warlock - no mate, I don't need proof I am now over it, the voice recorder has already been used, I couldn't careless if she did or didn't sleep with the guy. I've seen/read/heard and been lied to enough to know she stepped over the line and I don't want to be with a woman of her moral values.


Were they about her relationship with the other guy or were they about you ?


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

scorp79 said:


> I really think she is just in a really bad space since our last kid, never really bounced back since her mum passed away and then last child. *After the last child she hit the booze hard and no matter what she just wouldn't stop. To the point where she would hide it.*


No way to live with a full blown alcoholic. No way. 
And she is. Hidind the bottles is typical, specially from female alcoholics.
Regardless the outcome of the relationship I hope she gets sober and seeks some IC before completely going down the hole. After all she's the mother of your kids.


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## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> Were they about her relationship with the other guy or were they about you ?


I didn't review all of the recordings but simply bad mouthing myself to her family. A 'slightly' touch on how nice the is other guy was etc, but very little.

The bad mouthing was repeating our discussions to her family of which she would then add words like 'and i told him to fk off' and again saying I said things I haven't said. Two complete personalities. I really do think she has issues.

I did expose her to her family of which really pissed her off but stiff, be accountable for your actions. She tends to avoid speaking about the other bloke and simply states its over. She's fair paranoid about her phone being logged now, if I pop around the house she factory resets it. lol.

Just over the drama and want to move on now. It really tires you.


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## Virgil123 (Nov 29, 2014)

Sorry, but I disagree with most. My wife did the same thing on the same game (KOC). She started with the chats, progressed to TOUCH, and then it was Skype sex. Then it was some claim that a sick friend in Scotland was to die soon and so I bought her a trip that cost us $4000. She went out, saw her friend, and took a side trip to **** some guy named Ali (Gareth 47). When she returned, she told me everything, all of the lies and deception for the past 3 years.

My life is an illusion. Nothing I believed was real. I don't trust and never will. She tries everyday to convince me that what happened will never happen again. We have 3 kids, a house, secure lifestyle, and a great community. But I'm so detached from my life, all I have is tears and anger. I will never be able to smile again. I lost everything. And before you idiots begin talking about leaving her, remember that under the laws, I would lose most of everything. And while she says that a future without me is not a life she ever wants, I'm sure a **** long enough will do the job.

If you can get out, do so. Staying in a relationship that has been destroyed by a cheater is hell. I'm staying for my kids, and then I will depart on my own terms. And if I ever meet any of her lovers, they'll wish I had committed suicide much earlier in life. Those sick bastards are still contacting me, not her, me to remind me of what she did - pictures, chats, and everything. It breaks me every time.


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

Virgil123 said:


> Sorry, but I disagree with most. My wife did the same thing on the same game (KOC). She started with the chats, progressed to TOUCH, and then it was Skype sex. Then it was some claim that a sick friend in Scotland was to die soon and so I bought her a trip that cost us $4000. She went out, saw her friend, and took a side trip to **** some guy named Ali (Gareth 47).
> 
> When she returned, she told me everything, all of the lies and deception for the past 3 years.
> 
> ...


You need to start your own thread. Save all the "pictures, chats, and everything" several places where she can't get to them. Include the cloud at least once. Also keep copies of the receipts for the trip to Scotland (tickets, credit card statements and all the things she spent money on during the trip). You never know if they might come in handy. 

How old are your kids? Get your finances in order as much as you can. See a lawyer now to find out your options even if you can't get divorced for years.

Tell your wife that you are going to DNA your kids even if it’s just to show her how much faith you have lost in her and your marriage. You can buy a kit at WalMart, Amazon of about any drug store for about $30. You swab the inside of your cheek and the kids and send the kit and $130 more to a lab.

Did she just confess everything without you suspecting anything? Did she know the other men would be contacting you and just told you first?


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## scorp79 (Apr 25, 2013)

Virgil123 I feel for you mate. I was in a similar situation with a couple of the guys filling me in on what she was up to.

Will you really loose everything?

I was placed in to a bunch of debt, walked out financially ruined, 2 years later finances are sorted and I'm back to the point where I'm 1 year away from getting back in to my own place.
I was lucky to organise 50/50 shared care with my kids, I got out when she was living up her life and wanted that time to her self.

Virgil123 I really hope you make the right decision for you, cease opportunity and act quickly, think hard about what really is everything and don't let her make you feel sorry for her.

My sanity and happiness is everything. Money is nothing, that can be built again.


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