# need advice



## erick219 (Dec 20, 2010)

so in march would be 3 yrs of marriage to my wife.well i found out that my wife just cheated on me about a month ago she swore to me that she hasnt talked to the guy since and that he was from out of town(the night she told me) but since then ive found out different its been the guy i thought she was fooling around with before and it ended up being right (cop friend did a reverse number lookup) so i confronted her about it and she came clean and said yes this is the guy but still didnt seem to show any remorse... she told me she hasnt talked to him at all since that night but guess what got on the cell records and theres his number 4-5times a day every couple days.??? so now im really frustrated...but she says she wants to work it out she says she thinks it would be a good idea to move down south away from everyone so then we can start fresh but what is that gunna change shes gunna be even more lonely down there (i work alot right now) and if we where to move i wanted to go to college but at the same time i wouldnt be able to afford not to work and go to school at the same time so she would basically never see me.....and whats really getting me is i hangout with most of the people i work with and some of them where there when i found out she cheated(via facebook mobile) so i just sat there and drank well i guess i ranted most of everything to them and ive gotten really close to one of the gals i work with never kissed nothing just really close friends that i admit ive kinda got some feelings for...and shes told me to leave my wife and give her a chance because shes in college and wants to be something in her life just like i do but ive givin my wife 4yrs and its really hard to give up....but we have grown so apart and im terrible at being anything heartless and thats how it feels.......(just so u know we got married at 18)no kids


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

First, your female co-worker is nothing but trouble. Anyone telling you to split with your wife should mind their own business. Not to mention that a co-worker getting involved with you and your divorce is a recipe for disaster.

Moving isn't going to help. Going to counseling may. usually there's two people at fault when a marriage goes south and you need to find out what your part is, too.


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## erick219 (Dec 20, 2010)

the problem is my wife wont go to counseling and wont even try she just keeps telling me one thing and it keeps being a lie....because i mentioned it before because i know that i can be a pain in the ass sometimes and i know some things that are going on are my fault but even then i still never go out and do ANYTHING pyhsical with another person i cant get over her cheating on me at the beach where i proposed to her 3yrs ago....


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I'm sorry for your circumstances. Trying to recover your marriage from an active affair can be extraordinarily difficult, confusing and painful.

I recommend that you reference this thread
3 Things Needed to Rebuild Trust


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If there are no kids, no remorse from her, and you are finding comfort from another women, then it might be time to move on while your still young. Mature a little, finish school and you will find the honest and loyal wife that will not lie to your face.

If you do decide to stay, both of you will need to start thinking in terms of "we" not "me" until wife gets to that point, you are in a up hill battle, and who wants to spend the next 10 or 15 years in a battle?


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