# Wife would rather masterbate than have sex with me



## Zigg (Jul 10, 2016)

Hello everyone , 

I have been married 9 years with 2 kids and love my wife and kids greatly but I'm at a lost and at my limit because I have recently found that my wife wants to have sex solo before she would want to have sex with me this has been going on for awhile and in the past she has been caught having solo sex with other people on the phone or even posting videos on sites and I have forgiven her multiple times and I'm no saint I neglected her at times and she felt "unloved" so she acted out in those ways we have had many talks and I have forgiven her but recently it happen again with someone on the phone and I forgave her again and now I today I leave her home and come back to find out she has chosen to masterbate before even trying to have sex with me I honestly don't mind her having solo sex if she at least offers sex to me first but lately she doesn't even try to have sex with me I have been the one to start things up for years with her starting things up every once in awhile I have asked her why and she told me you couldn't handle all that I would give to you and just don't understand cause that would never be a problem in my book but early in our marriage she started sex a lot and was more into it but now if I ask for sex it's always a yes but it seems like there is no love behind it because she wouldn't want me to look for love anywhere else (which I wouldn't ) At this point I don't know what to do because I'm starting to feel like I would rather have solo sex than with her if there is no love behind it please help me out .....


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

When a woman gives those kind of emotions to someone else, even if it's some loser married guy via the internet, I believe she loses all feelings for her husband and the marriage is then bankrupt of all love.

I personally think the marriage is over.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Haze her a little!

Set her wallpaper on the lock screen to a handsome photo of you! Set the unlock pattern to an up/down/up/down swipe gesture! Then when it unlocks, BOOM it is an up close erect photo of your penis! 

If you get too serious and upset, it will just push her away...

Badsanta


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Here is a whole long thread about this very subject. You may have it worse. Does she have specific things she likes that you could try? Does she know this may be a deal breaker to you? What kind of shape are you in? What is your marriage like otherwise?

>you couldn't handle all that I would give to you 

What does this mean. Why don't you ask her to try you out.


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## Zigg (Jul 10, 2016)

Evinrude58 said:


> When a woman gives those kind of emotions to someone else, even if it's some loser married guy via the internet, I believe she loses all feelings for her husband and the marriage is then bankrupt of all love.
> 
> I personally think the marriage is over.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I personally have thought the same thing because the very last time I found out she lied to me about this person she talked to at night and come to find she has been talking to that person for a year via text and email and said she only had solo sex with them once but i still forgave her sort of but my trust is shattered and that plays a factor with sex and her having solo sex as in " is she having solo sex with just her or someone else is on the phone listening or watching I just don't know smh


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## Zigg (Jul 10, 2016)

sokillme said:


> Here is a whole long thread about this very subject. You may have it worse. Does she have specific things she likes that you could try? Does she know this may be a deal breaker to you? What kind of shape are you in? What is your marriage like otherwise?
> 
> >you couldn't handle all that I would give to you
> 
> What does this mean. Why don't you ask her to try you out.


That tread was very close my subject (thanks) I'm new here and I'm not in the best shape (so I'm trying to fix that as we speak) and yes she does I spoke to her 2 weeks ago about this very same thing and boom it happens again but as I read in the other post it maybe linked to her having a quick release and some me time which I don't minded like I said I just wish it was with me at first and the fact she just came off her period and I didn't know until I found out she had solo sex yesterday and our marriage is good we are good together our biggest issue is sex in my eyes everything else is good and the statement she made I asked her and she just said it again and I have tried to talk to her about what she likes but I don't get much in return from her I'm very willing to try anything to help "us" out but at the same time i got hurt by the choices she made when it came to expressing herself sexually and it turned into trust issues for me


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

First of all, this is in the wrong category, what is happening here is cheating, while she is not physically cheating, she is most certainly emotional cheating on you, and you need to call her out on the fact that this is cheating. From this point once you have a accurate label on this you now need to uncover with who and you need to notify this guys spouse if he is married, and you need to extract all the emails and video to expose her....then you need to decide if this marriage is worth staying in.


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## Zigg (Jul 10, 2016)

Xenote said:


> First of all, this is in the wrong category, what is happening here is cheating, while she is not physically cheating, she is most certainly emotional cheating on you, and you need to call her out on the fact that this is cheating. From this point once you have a accurate label on this you now need to uncover with who and you need to notify this guys spouse if he is married, and you need to extract all the emails and video to expose her....then you need to decide if this marriage is worth staying in.


Yeah this can go under cheating but it's a mix of both with with different parts and yes I have done all of what you said and to this day after I did so I'm not sure if she is starting it up again but I know that if she starts to feel neglected in any form that's her go to and then she try's to blame me for her seeking others attention and eventually phone sex with they or videos and pics exchanged at this point idk what to do and I love her more than she knows and I would never want to effect my kids with a divorce so it a tough choice and I really don't believe in divorce at all


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Zigg,

Reality check please. Your wife is having an EA for a year with the same guy and has checked out on you.

So far, every time she continues to do it, you cave in and let her continue with no consequences.

If you do not set some clear and verifiable boundaries and be prepared to file for divorce on her, this will continue, and eventually she will find someone online that lives close enough to meet personally if that has not happened already.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

If the is no consequences to her action, then why should she stop. The bottom line is no matter what she does you will not leave so what is the point, she clearly is not remorseful, clearly does see the hurt she is causing, she does not see the impact on the children, so what is left? She is selfish, she is demanding, and she does not care about anyone needs but her own.....so as dr. Phil would say " how's that working for you?"


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Zigg my man, How do you know she ain't doing the guy? Cuz she sez so? If she's not done it already, hold on to your hat. 
Bottom line, this chick has no interest in you. Once it reaches the level where she's telling you to go fly a kite, that interest ain't coming back. The good news is she won't ditch you immediately giving you a chance to get use to the idea you're history. Its just a matter of time before you're out in the street and she's moved on to a guy that makes her feel all warm inside, put down the phone and dildo, and climb in the saddle for a ride she actually enjoys.


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## Zigg (Jul 10, 2016)

straightshooter said:


> Zigg,
> 
> Reality check please. Your wife is having an EA for a year with the same guy and has checked out on you.
> 
> ...


I agree I just got to suck it up and let things be known and clear and have a straight forward convo with a end result of anything else takes place


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## eric1 (Apr 10, 2015)

Zigg said:


> Yeah this can go under cheating but it's a mix of both with with different parts and yes I have done all of what you said and to this day after I did so I'm not sure if she is starting it up again but I know that if she starts to feel neglected in any form that's her go to and then she try's to blame me for her seeking others attention and eventually phone sex with they or videos and pics exchanged at this point idk what to do and *I love her more than she knows *and I would never want to effect my kids with a divorce so it a tough choice and I really don't believe in divorce at all



1. She doesn't love you the same way
2. She knows this



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

*Re: Wife would rather masterbate than have sex with meW*

Why does your wife feel unloved? Are you good in bed?

What she is doing is a lot more than simple solo sex. She is involving other people, which makes it sound like she is looking for something that you aren't giving her. What is it? Excitement? Dirty talk? Kink?


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## Zigg (Jul 10, 2016)

wild jade said:


> Why does your wife feel unloved? Are you good in bed?
> 
> What she is doing is a lot more than simple solo sex. She is involving other people, which makes it sound like she is looking for something that you aren't giving her. What is it? Excitement? Dirty talk? Kink?


I'm decent in bed, and I'm not sure really now that I think about it we don't much of anything loving with each other than we just work and parent together 

Our sex life is basically a routine because there is no love behind its just sex I'm willing to do what ever and whenever


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Zigg

*I agree I just got to suck it up and let things be known and clear and have a straight forward convo with a end result of anything else takes place*

before you do anything you need to find out if she has met up with any of these online sex pals or pal. You need a VAR in her car or a polygraph. I would not be surprised if what you have posted is just the tip of the iceberg.

Stop believing anything she tells you unless you can verify it.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Once she has an exit plan in place, you're toast. As said already.


And as said, it's not solo sex, it's cybersex. And likely is or will go physical. 

You need a lawyer. What she's doing is unacceptable in a marriage. And what she is doing has already ruined any emotions she has for you romantically. Make no mistake, she is or soon will be looking for your replacement.

Don't wallow in self pity. Get out and find yourself a real wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

Zigg said:


> I'm decent in bed, and I'm not sure really now that I think about it we don't much of anything loving with each other than we just work and parent together
> 
> Our sex life is basically a routine because there is no love behind its just sex I'm willing to do what ever and whenever


If you want to recapture her interest, you will have to step up your game. 

If you don't do anything loving together, and your sex life is just routine, she may be feeling disconnected, or bored, or unfulfilled, or any number of things. 

If you are willing to do whatever and whenever, find out what those needs and desires are, what excites her, and show her that you can give that to her.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Here's the thing. If your sex life is just routine, feeling disconnected, bored, or unfulfilled, you ain't going to turn it around. Well maybe for 3 weeks if you have the skill set. Than is back to routine, feeling disconnected, bored, or unfulfilled


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