# Badly need advice/suggestions from ladies!



## Bluebutterfly22 (Sep 8, 2013)

Hi, I am new here but been reading posts for months now. I am in an interracial marriage (western/southeast asian) for 3 years now, had 2 kids one is 2 year old and a month old baby boy. I had a hard time recovering from pregnancy during my first baby so this time I made sure I was active and eating healthy foods, so after 3 weeks postpartum I went back to work as my husband is a full time student. I had a vaginal delivery and didn't have any tear or episiotomy. My baby weighed 7 lbs and 9 ounce. Has lost weight from 135 lbs to 117 lbs after just a couple weeks. 

I became sexually active just recently and to be honest it didn't felt the same anymore, at first it hurts but felt like there's something missing...that I don't feel that "tight" anymore. Has anyone been/is in my situation? If so, how do you deal with this and is there any way (other than kegel's exercise) to take things back to normal? I am worried that it may change my husband's attraction towards me and won't feel satisfied anymore. As for talking with him about it, I haven't done that. For now, I wanted to search for answers and experiences from others.

Hope to get some feedbacks. Thank you.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

Honey, you just had a bowling ball come out of your vagina 4 weeks ago. It takes time for the tissues to tighten back up. I have had 5 kids and it never felt right soon after birth. You are at a good post weight, but I bet your stomach muscles are still week and also your stomach skin is probably a bit wiggly. Tissue is tissue, muscles are muscles, not matter where it is located on the body.

Give it time. Yes kegel's helps, keep doing them.

Yes, it feels different to your husband too, but it won't be this way forever and I am sure he still enjoys it.

BTW, what does your interracial marriage have to do with this?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Should get better and get more sensation as time goes on.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

Do your vaginal exercises. They helped 100%! Do them consistently.


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## Bluebutterfly22 (Sep 8, 2013)

I have read articles that it's better to have a tear/episiotomy than no tear at all as the vagina stretches out and there's no way of having it stitched back on. And the only way to put it back to what it used to be is to undergo a reconstructive surgery. Would kegel's help? Only time will tell.

As for being in an interracial marriage, nope it has nothing to do with my issue. It's just a part of my introduction as I plan on posting more threads on here in the near future.

Thank you for your response.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

I once had an X tell me shortly after having an 8+ lb baby that it was like "throwing a pencil down a hallway". I could only laugh that he had just compared his penis size to a pencil. That was also the last time he went anywhere near my hallway... lol

Don't worry about it honey. Sex isn't going to feel the same for some time, but it will come back to you. Definitely keep up with kegels, and if you don't feel that is enough, check into vaginal weights. I've had 4 kids now and you would never know it! Your body will bounce back into shape but like posters above have said, it is a muscle and the more you exercise it, the tighter and stronger it will become.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Bluebutterfly22 said:


> I have read articles that it's better to have a tear/episiotomy than *no tear at all as the vagina stretches out and there's no way of having it stitched back on. And the only way to put it back to what it used to be is to undergo a reconstructive surgery.* Would kegel's help? Only time will tell.
> 
> As for being in an interracial marriage, nope it has nothing to do with my issue. It's just a part of my introduction as I plan on posting more threads on here in the near future.
> 
> Thank you for your response.


This is completely untrue. Do you ever use tampons? They're kinda slim aren't they? MUCH slimmer then a man's penis and yet, right after sex, you can put in a tampon and IN it stays. Why is that you ask? Because the vagina is lined with muscles that LEARN to relax and LEARN to tighten. A virgin doesn't have a small vagina, she has unused muscles that don't know how to relax.

Do your Kagels 3 times a day and when you have sex, do you Kagels again.


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