# Snooping/Spying on your Spouse



## light rain (Mar 1, 2012)

There's at lot of snooping or spying on spouses going on aided by high-tech gadgets, key loggers, mobile phones, etc. And for myself and many other's, the choice to snoop on your spouse is very justified, often finding significant life changing events that affect you and your family forever.

My question is what's the law say about spying? I guess this is not any different than hiring a private investigator.

But can it come back and bite you in court?


----------



## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Opening mail etc I think is against the law. Especially when you're separated lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Since most states are no fault anyway, and adultory has little miret on the divorce or custody, then why not spy and snoop to protect your self from more deciet and lies.

If the evidence dictates what your next step is and it validates your dicision and the dicisions are based on truths then at the end of the day whats it realy matter what the laws are.

This may be a niave view, but its how I see it!

Breaking the law to protect your self from a cheating spouse out wieghs the consequences if you choose to devulge your sourses that is.


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

For recording phone calls and such you have to see if your state is one party consent or two party.


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Divorce involves civil law. Violations of privacy most often involve criminal laws. Secretly recording private conversations is a felony in my state. Tapping a telephone to record private conversations is a felony. Stalking is a class A misdemeanor. Secretly accessing another's computer is a felony, etc, etc, etc. Photographing someone under conditions where they could assume privacy is also a class A misdemeanor. "Winning" a divorce wouldn't make much difference if you were sitting in prison. Check your own state's laws.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

So if there no consent and your spouse is cheating, do we just sit by second guessing one self? Or do we kick them to the curb and wonder if it was the right choice?
Laws are ment to be broken, just not exposed. LOL


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I guess you should know the laws...or at least ask your lawyer if the evidence is legal or not. Then you could deside to use it or not.

The bottom line is evidence validates the choice you need to make one way or another, and nevr reveal your sources.


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If my partner is so untrustworthy that I feel the need to spy on her, she needs to be kicked to the curb. I'm pretty familiar with Tennessee criminal law but I'd be happy to research the applicable laws of your state (or nation).


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

But she's not cheating, and she never will so its all good


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

So, you kick your WW to the curb b/c she is untrustworthy. You get 50/50 with the kids.

How would you know if the WW found a drug addict boy friend that has domestic violenice convictions, and now has your WW hooked on drugs and booze?

I guess if you would have done some spying during the 1st sign of untrustworthy behavior you might of faut harder for full custody?

maybe? maybe? huh????


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

It varies by state, but even where it's illegal most prosecutors have bigger cases to be concerned about to bother with it


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I don't need to play 007 to know if someone is a drunk or a druggie. Drunks act like drunks, they tend to consume lots of alcohol, drive like crap, believe they are sexier than they really are and believe they are badder than they really are. They frequently puke or urinate in public. They almost always say stupid stuff while speaking at unusually loud volume. Druggies act like druggies, frequently steal, rarely have money, drive like crap, forget to bathe, etc. You can't follow folks around all day. The best idea is to not marry someone who might be attracted to a turd.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

LOL, I get it.
I guess my wife gettting a text from the nieghbor is no big deal, he"s a straight up guy, nice front yard, see his truck leave in the AM on his way to work and comes home in the PM every weekday. The nieghbor has a great wife and they seem real happy there isn't a chance in hell my W would be sleeping with him, or he's a drunk, or beats his kids...no chance at all.

He's the pefect neighbor, right?


----------



## light rain (Mar 1, 2012)

In my particular case, I don't plan to use the information in court, I'm hoping to stay out of court. I'm not planning on trying to win anything, no one wins in divorce. Mine is a no-fault state anyway.

I looked at our mobile phone and text message logs on the carries online bill. We have a family plan. And regarding her computer, she has given me her password many times. Kind of an open invitation.

I have two main reasons to snooping

1. To validate my suspections of cheating, confirmed an EA, and perhaps more. Without this information I might still be considering her as my wife rather than my STBXW. 

2. And to protect my family. My wife's online activity could very well put my childred in danger. I don't want some crazy F coming to my house or something, because she shared too much personal someone online.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

All right now we are getting some were, thanks for beating around the bush 

It sound like a keylooger will be the best bet since there is alot of online activity. The keylooger will help you find hidden accounts and passwords, more importantly ...how much personel info she is telling strange men.

If the cell and phone look clean then search the house/car for a burner phone.

If you can't find the burner cell then get a VAR (voice activated recorder) and plant it in her car. Use velcrow to secure it under the car seat or dash. If there is a burner most cheaters use ther car to have a talk that they want no one to hear.


----------



## light rain (Mar 1, 2012)

I wasn't looking for methods of spying. 

I have all the evidence I need. Chat and text message logs, emails, photos exchanged, and blatant disregard or marriage boundaries. No respect for her husband. Shes a cake eater that's about to lose her cake.

I was just wondering how the law treats spouses that use these methods.  I don't want anything to backfire on me.


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

When you confront her you can give her a few examples of what she said/did but don't ever tell her how you got it. 

She will deny it but at the end just say "I know it, just admit it".


----------

