# Scared of getting older



## sexy

::rolleyes So here's a question for all you long-timers: For the guys, do you remain attracted to your wives even after her appearance matures and the lines show up (wrinkles)?

And for the gals, do you worry about your husband losing his attraction to you or his performance ability? 

I'm about to turn 47, and I'm feeling mildly insecure about getting more wrinkles and losing that youthful attractive appearance that he knew some 25 years ago.

Thanks for your input.


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## JustSomeGuyWho

sexy said:


> ::rolleyes So here's a question for all you long-timers: For the guys, do you remain attracted to your wives even after her appearance matures and the lines show up (wrinkles)?
> 
> And for the gals, do you worry about your husband losing his attraction to you or his performance ability?
> 
> I'm about to turn 47, and I'm feeling mildly insecure about getting more wrinkles and losing that youthful attractive appearance that he knew some 25 years ago.
> 
> Thanks for your input.


Normal aging doesn't bother me a bit. I'm 45. If you take care of yourself, wrinkles don't bother me. In fact, I don't even really see them on a person. Although most women color their hair, gray doesn't bother me either. I think if you look old in other ways ... you have not taken care of yourself, carry too much extra weight, etc then that gets noticed. 

It's amazing how many people I see in their late 40s to 50s who look like "old people" because they haven't taken care of themselves and yet some of the fit people I know who DO have lines around their eyes because of the time they've spent in the sun are pretty darn hot and look like they'll live forever. 

I don't have them yet myself but I know it's coming soon, lol. Now, if you were single and off being a cougar ... nah, wouldn't matter to them either, lol.

Also, as a man I worry that my performance will degrade over time. Hasn't been the case yet ... I mean, I'm not 18 where it just takes a stiff wind but I haven't had any performance problems. It is enough of a concern to motivate myself to stay fit.

If your spouse loves you and is attracted to you now, you have nothing to worry about.


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## WyshIknew

You can't control getting older, I just refuse to get old!

I'm mid 50's, and I agree with Someguywho, I'm not 18 anymore but I still manage just fine. Everything just seems to take a bit longer in more ways than one.

I hope like threetimesalady that I'm still going for it in my 70's.


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## Anon Pink

Go spend some time in a retirement community. You will not see as many couples as widows and widowers, but when you do see a couple you will notice that they BOTH look old but they both look like they enjoy each other and are enjoying life together.

You and H will keep your attraction to one another as long as you both take care of yourselves and take care of each other. There is more to life and love than appearance.


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## Cosmos

What is your worst case scenario - that you will gain some wrinkles and your H will lose his attraction for you? The former is a distinct possibility, but the latter most certainly isn't. Aging is inevitable, becoming less attractive to our spouses/SOs isn't.

I'm a lot older than you, OP, and still have very few wrinkles. I colour my hair (even though the grey blends well with the blonde), keep it well styled, wear age appropriate make-up and zippy, but age appropriate, clothes. 

Worrying about getting older will actually make you feel older. Rather keep on taking care of yourself, inside and out, and there's no reason why you should lose any of your attraction.


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## karole

I know how you feel OP. I hate looking older. I just turned 50. It's like it happened almost over night. I got up one morning, looked in the mirror and thought, who the hell is that? I too worry about my husband losing attraction to me, even though he's never really given me a reason to think that way. Also, these boards don't help. I have read so many times where the men here tell an older man that there best days are ahead of him, how easy it is for a man to get a younger woman, and then say that at 40, a woman's best years are behind her. I do everything in my power to slow down the aging process by taking care of myself, but there is only so much you can do because you can't stop mother nature unfortunately.


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## Thor

I'm 52, met my wife when we were freshmen in college, and got married the week after graduation.

When I look at her I still see the 22 yr old who walked down the aisle at our wedding. Most of the time I don't notice the wrinkles, but when I do see them they don't make her look old.

She is nearly as skinny as when we married, probably within 10 pounds. For me it does help because I am not attracted to chubby women. Just the way my brain is wired, it is not a value judgment of people. Had my wife put on 50 pounds I would not find her as attractive today.

The grey hair really does not bother me. She colors it but I would prefer she didn't.

I believe our imperfections are what give us character and personality. So the aging process improves us as long as we take care of ourselves along the way.


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## AlmostYoung

sexy said:


> ::rolleyes So here's a question for all you long-timers: For the guys, do you remain attracted to your wives even after her appearance matures and the lines show up (wrinkles)?


Yes. I met my wife when she was 16, and she's now 50. I not only think she is as hot as ever, but I know for a fact that even guys much younger still find her attractive. 

Being healthy, confident, and fun to be around is very attractive, at any age.


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## OhhShiney

My wife and I are both in our late fifties. We got married just a couple of years ago. 

When we met we had an amazingly passionate few months of lovemaking; and while it's slowed down a bit, we haven't found that being old is an issue. 

I find, as with other responders to this thread, that being "old" is a state of mind. If you think that you are old and can't do anything, you will feel old and won't do anything. And the more you don't do anything, the older you will feel. 

I have met MANY people who have become unhealthy, fallen into the trap that they are "old" and have given up and written off way too much of life. Some are younger than me (hang around hospitals long enough and you will see large numbers of unhealthy YOUNG people who see themselves as victims -- suffering from ailments related to obesity and inactivity. They see themselves as victims, don't take responsibility for their condition. Most of the problems revolve around attributing certain ailments to their "age" and simply giving up. Most of the problems I've seen are because people are either overweight (i.e. "FAT") or inactive. 

The progression seems to go as follows

They eat a lot more calories than they burn up, day after day
They sit around, inactive, year after year
They gain weight
They have knee pain
They don't walk because of the pain
Their sex life begins to fall apart
They gain more weight
They become diabetic
They gain more weight
Their sex life gets worse
They buy a lift chair
They have kidney failure/heart attack/stroke
They get even older and sicker looking

They blame it ALL on being old, when in reality, most of their problems stemmed from letting their health go and the subsequent downward spiral.

I was FAT until I was 40, and have fought (successfully) to keep my weight off for the last 20 years. I am suffering from knee and hip pain, and may have to have a hip replacement soon, but overall, I don't feel "old." I bring this up because I, like many, ignored signs that I was unhealthy, and gave up on taking care of myself as my weight grew. I started to have high blood pressure, shortness of breath, and knee and leg pain. I became a very sedentary victim of excess. 

It wasn't until I decided to take charge of my life that I started to realize that I was only as old as I felt, and that I had a HUGE say over how healthy I felt. I COULD take control of my health, and do my best to make sure that many traditional ailments of aging were less likely to happen to me. 

I don't feel that I'm nearly 60, I feel that I'm around 35-40, and look forward to years of happy, sensual, married life with my lovely wife. Part of our marriage vows included taking an active part in keeping each other healthy to help us enjoy as much time together as we could before we eventually die. Having a happy married life REALLY makes a difference in how you face each day and how you view the future. 

Just as I learned that I could control a big chunk of my personal happiness by ending an unhappy marriage, I have learned that we have a large control over health and can help improve quality of life by making changes to our lifestyle -- eating well (but not too much) and staying active. 

I had a horribly unhappy marriage until I was 50, and I can tell you that finding a wonderful partner at age 55 has made me wake up and pay attention to taking care of myself so that I can enjoy years of happiness and fulfillment.


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## OhGeesh

Guess what? You have few options lol!! It' almost all genetics especially for guys! All we can do is maintain a decent wait and workout the rest is all up to your genetic make up.

People don't like to hear this, but it is fact! Balding, graying, thinning, are all genetic not much can fix or slow that. 

Wrinkles while sun damage matters it's mostly due to the amount of melanin in the skin. Hence why darker people generally age much better than fairer skinned people.

Good teeth again largely genetics assuming equal factors or $$$ for veneers etc.

There aren't any smoking hot 70 year olds! I personally hate the aging process, death, the end etc. Have a very hard time finding a happy medium...........good luck!!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Stress and worry will age you more than anything else.
So do your best to take care of yourself but don't devote your life to prolonging it, because then you'll have lost the life you ought to have been living.
And if you're doing your best, then don't worry.
As they say in Best Exotic Marigold Hotel..."It will be all right in the end. And if it's not all right, it's not the end!"
I know a lot of old people, I also know a lot of young people who are getting old quickly by the shortcut of worry and stress.
Do you best, make good decisions, and roll with the punches.
I went vegan this year and it was a conscious decision to preserve my health and to put less wear and tear on my body so that I could enjoy my life longer. I swear I could hear my 22 year old breathe a huge sigh of relief, and he's two states away. And not like I wasn't in good shape, but I definitely got in much better shape, much more quickly, and with less effort than it took to be in good shape. Paradoxical but true. It takes less effort to not age, than it does to age. Think about it (but not too much.)


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## karole

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Stress and worry will age you more than anything else.
> So do your best to take care of yourself but don't devote your life to prolonging it, because then you'll have lost the life you ought to have been living.
> And if you're doing your best, then don't worry.
> As they say in Best Exotic Marigold Hotel..."It will be all right in the end. And if it's not all right, it's not the end!"
> I know a lot of old people, I also know a lot of young people who are getting old quickly by the shortcut of worry and stress.
> Do you best, make good decisions, and roll with the punches.
> I went vegan this year and it was a conscious decision to preserve my health and to put less wear and tear on my body so that I could enjoy my life longer. I swear I could hear my 22 year old breathe a huge sigh of relief, and he's two states away. And not like I wasn't in good shape, but I definitely got in much better shape, much more quickly, and with less effort than it took to be in good shape. Paradoxical but true. It takes less effort to not age, than it does to age. Think about it (but not too much.)


This is so true. My daughter had some serious health issues a couple years ago and I swear, I aged 10 years during that year.


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## Gseries

You reminded me I need to have this talk with W. The second half of the OP question....yes everything takes longer. We are same age as you, W still expects the instant on she has been used to and there is always an awkward few minutes waiting for me to be ready. good communication is always the key....quickies might be no longer an option, but we continue to have more and better sex. Aging sucks but is fact of life. It's how you deal with it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Woodchuck

sexy said:


> ::rolleyes So here's a question for all you long-timers: For the guys, do you remain attracted to your wives even after her appearance matures and the lines show up (wrinkles)?
> 
> And for the gals, do you worry about your husband losing his attraction to you or his performance ability?
> 
> I'm about to turn 47, and I'm feeling mildly insecure about getting more wrinkles and losing that youthful attractive appearance that he knew some 25 years ago.
> 
> Thanks for your input.


I had a wonderful day yesterday. I got up early and helped the wife getting Easter dinner ready. Made a huge bowl of potato salad, helped her with odd jobs, then went to the grocery store to pick up any little thing she needed. Got back and had lunch, then lay down for a couple of hours, didn't get any rest...We made out like newlyweds and had wonderful sex, she even modeled lingere for me...Then we got up, fixed a little dinner, then crawled back into bed and watched TV and cuddled till we fell asleep....Is that the kind of Saturday you would like? I am 66 years old, and my wife is 68.. 

She is so hot I can't keep my hands off of her...We have had 47 years together, and probably have more sex than lots of couples in their 30's. When I look at her I see that lovely girl I fell in love with almost 50 years ago....Don't fear growing older, there is only one alternative.....

Good luck
the woodchuck


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