# actions speak louder than words



## justmad (Dec 27, 2010)

why is it that we say things that we think others want to hear, but in reality we almost never follow through on everything we say or promise i know myself i have made promises with every intention on keeping them but sometimes circumstances permit where you cannot. i just don't understand how you would tell a loved one something just to keep the peace rather than go through the storm before you can reach the calm.
i only say this as my husband told me he would be there for me after he stuffed up and made mistakes but then becomes selfish once again and tries to make it all about him....... how is this being there for me?.


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## JohnR617 (Dec 23, 2010)

Ralph Waldo Emerson*wrote: 
"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear a word you are saying."

If you can't keep a promise then you shouldn't make them. Or if you fail to keep your word you should do all you can to make amends. Either way what good is your word if you can't keep it?

It's tough, I know, but your word means a great deal to those who honor and love you. I learned this the hard way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Those that love me know why I say "maybe", that's exactly what it means. I refuse to make a promise. If I DO..it WILL be kept, come hell or high water. THAT is something that I personally value, and the person who shares his life with me has to feel the same way. That being said...don't put your husband in a position to make promises. That's akin to backing someone in a corner, and we all know what happens when we do that. The person in the corner says whatever they have to just to get out of that corner. 
Sounds like a communication problem to me.


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## justmad (Dec 27, 2010)

thanks for your post major.
just to clarify though i never put him in a position to promise me anything.
he was the one who stood in front of family and friends promising to love me to the day he dies and respecting me so forth.
i guess i am just bewildered and confused as to why he needs to keep hurting me the supposed one that he loves with all his heart and yes i have tried speaking to him but are at the moment in the process of a marriage consellor.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Ok..not sure what's really going on here, I guess I just don't have enough information. I'm glad to hear that you're going for marriage counseling, though. Have you considered individual counseling as well? 
I'm not sure how he's "hurting" you or in what ways he's not "there for" you. Did you think you were marrying one man, and you ended up with another?


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