# other girls?



## dontknowwhat (May 14, 2012)

since me and my husband have been married he has always had a lot of friends that are girls. he always jokes about how they are bad and need spanked along with other stuff to them when i am or am not around. this never bugged me that much because i was also kindof friends with them and trusted them as well as i have always trusted him but all at one i find myself very jealous and insecure about him being around and talking to other girls. there is this one girl in which i don't trust her at all , i don't know why , i just dont like her plus she is married to and the moment her husband left out of state she started texting mine and being around more, i have asked them to stop talking a few times and than today i find out that they cuddled on my our bed a week ago this is even after the fact that i have already asked them to stop and that happened. i just don't know what to do i wish they would stop talking, he says he loves me and only me. but he doesnt see anything wrong in what has happened, he things that he is an alpha male and that chicks should just be around and want him all the time or something.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Are you saying that he brought another woman into your home and laid with her on YOUR bed...and he told you it wasn't a big deal???????

Uhh no. 

Girl, you need to send a clear message to that woman and her husband that under no certain terms is it okay for her to come into your home and lay down anywhere near your husband. Than you need to lay the rules down for your hubby and give him a good kick in the @ss!!


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## mrsamazing (Feb 9, 2012)

Thats cheating. Dont "ask" them to stop. TELL your husband to stop or youre gone!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

dontknowwhat said:


> he things that he is an alpha male and that chicks should just be around and want him all the time or something.


To me this says.... "I'm vain, selfish, and think of women as nothing more then mares and fillies and men as stallions who go about conquering them all."


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Would he think it was no big deal if he found out you'd be home alone with another friend (male) and you'd been lying on the marital bed 'cuddling' ??

How you be sure that's all they did...they were after all lying on a bed? I'd be hugely upset by this!


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> What kind of "friend" has the ballz to get on another woman's bed with that woman's husband and cuddle? And your husband thinks you should be ok with this? Unreal. Perhaps it's tirme for an azz kicking...or two.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

NO, NO, NO, NO! His "cuddling" on YOUR bed is completely unacceptable, no ifs, ands or buts about it. I wasn't there, but there is probably a good bet that more went on than "cuddling". Beyond that, this is cheating and he is disrespecting you and your marriage.

There is no "asking" him to stop, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to cut contact with this woman and set some appropriate boundaries. I'm sure that he would be more than upset if he knew that you were being overly friendly with male friends of yours.


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## seriously_yours (Apr 16, 2012)

I am a dude and my Best Friend is female and never in life would any of that happen. Unbelievably disrespectful to you. ( My HFG would stick a hot fork right in my eye if there was even a hint of this type of shenanigans, and I would deserve it) That is not "friend" behavior. Regardless of what he thinks the "chicks" want, he controls his own actions. No excuse....... cut him loose 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
What you do speaks so loud, I can not hear what you say ...


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

omg just....NO!!! what an tosser - alpha male my white english azz


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I saw that he tells them they need to be spanked and had enough.  Then i saw that he cuddled in your bed with another woman.

No no no. And I bet it was more than cuddling. Groping would be a better term, I'm sure.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

dontknowwhat said:


> he always jokes about how they are bad and need spanked along with other stuff to them when i am or am not around. *this never bugged me* that much because i was also kindof friends with them and trusted them as well as i have always trusted him


OP, Why did it never bug you that your husband talked about spanking other women? And how could you trust and be friends with these women who (probably) don't mind being spanked by your husband. 

How many women are we talking about here? Where does your husband come across all these women? Do he go to the bar or are these his long time friends/colleagues? Does he spend time with them in your absence? I don't get the picture yet. 



> there is this one girl in which i don't trust her at all , i don't know why , i just dont like her plus she is married to and the moment her husband left out of state she started texting mine and being around more.


Is this woman a new addition to the group of other women your husband is friends with?



> i have asked them to stop talking a few times and than today i find out that they cuddled on my our bed a week ago


How did you find out? How come you are sure if was just cuddling and nothing more?


> but he doesnt see anything wrong in what has happened, he things that he is an *alpha male* and that chicks should just be around and want him all the time or something.


This is a weird and crazy thinking! Alpha male indeed!! Why did he marry you in the first place if he wanted to be surrounded by chicks! Does he think sleeping with couple of chicks is okay as well?? Looks like spanking and cuddling is just fine in his books. If you want to keep your husband, you need to be an ALPHA FEMALE, drive away all of these chicks and make it clear to your husband that this non sense will not be tolerated if he wants to stay married. I don't know what else to say :banghead:


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

"Cuddling" on on YOUR bed?? Oh HELL no! Nu uh. No way! My husband would be dead for that. NO ONE belongs on MY bed with MY husband but ME!


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## dontknowwhat (May 14, 2012)

Im just not sure what to do i have tried to lay down the terms, everything was different when we first got married, ie the honeymoon stage- im not sure how became friends with these woman just girls that were friends with his other guy friends i guess... Yes this girl is a new one she use to come over with her husband but he left the state a month or so ago and since the day he left she started texting mine and when it started to bug me i told them to stop a few weeks ago and than this happened last week i guess i found out she was in my room since i found papers with her name on it by my bed.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> What you do is tell your husband that his idiotic, immature, disrespectful behavior stops NOW...ALL of it...or you are gone.
> 
> Cuddling with another woman on your bed just blows my mind.
> 
> I realize telling you to walk is easier said than done, but do you really want to be married to a man who disrespects you in so many ways?


And, in keeping with my previous post... Dontknowwhat, you tell your husband "stop this stupid **** or get out." (Actually, I would say gtfo, but you know what I mean.) He is disrespecting you... and by allowing him to do so, YOU ARE TELLING HIM IT IS OK! If he won't respect you, your marriage, then kick him to the curb!


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## dontknowwhat (May 14, 2012)

eowyn said:


> OP, Why did it never bug you that your husband talked about spanking other women? And how could you trust and be friends with these women who (probably) don't mind being spanked by your husband.
> 
> it just seemed like a joke, i knew that i was better than them and i trusted him 100% , plus they all seemed very turned of by him and never went along with it
> 
> ...


everything was different 5 years ago when we got married , if i drive them away he will go also. thats when i dont know what to do , 

i am also very overwhelmed and insecure, jealous at this and for weeks now, i feel like its me and its all in my head or something. i feel like i cant get past any of this. i just feel trapped in a shell

i also have no real friends to hang out with or talk to , these females are not my friends and never will be,


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

dontknowwhat said:


> *everything was different 5 years ago when we got married , if i drive them away he will go also.* thats when i dont know what to do ,
> 
> i am also very overwhelmed and insecure, jealous at this and for weeks now, i feel like its me and its all in my head or something. i feel like i cant get past any of this. i just feel trapped in a shell
> 
> i also have no real friends to hang out with or talk to , these females are not my friends and never will be,


But if he goes, it means he values his friendship with these women MORE than his marriage to you! Do you REALLY want to be with a man who so obviously disrespects you so much?? So it was different when you got married 5 years ago. People change over time. But this kind of change, no matter how subtle or immediate, is unacceptable. Period. It is disrespectful of YOU!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

dontknowwhat said:


> Im just not sure what to do i have tried to lay down the terms, everything was different when we first got married, ie the honeymoon stage- im not sure how became friends with these woman just girls that were friends with his other guy friends i guess... Yes this girl is a new one she use to come over with her husband but he left the state a month or so ago and since the day he left she started texting mine and when it started to bug me i told them to stop a few weeks ago and than this happened last week i guess i found out she was in my room since i found papers with her name on it by my bed.


And they said they just cuddled. NFW. Basically he laid down with another woman in your marital bed. 

That would be a deal breaker for me whether they had sex or not.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

And ya know... cuddling is intimate. You can bang someone and not have intimacy.... 

You have choices:
1. You allow your life to remain as it is, so that you don't rock the boat.

2. You tell him that all his girlfriends are done, or he can LEAVE...and take control of your life. 

Number two gives you self respect, and maybe he would like you and respect you for putting your foot down and being strong. MAYBE things could change. (Altho I'm not very confident about that.)

Number one, you lose your self-respect. You KNOW this isn't how a marriage should be, but you are putting up with it. Maybe YOU need to figure out why you are not stronger in your reaction about this. You KNOW he isn't respecting you. 

You can't change him. You can only change you. If you do not want a marriage in which your husband has girlfriends, then you have to figure out how to support yourself ...financially, mentally, all of it. YOU have to figure out what YOU can do....not what you can get him to do.


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

I think all his sexy talk and his cuddling are tests to see if he can cheat. If you don't put your foot down, your alpha male husband will have no consequences to cheating and in his mind its a green light.

If I found out that my H had a female over while I was gone, friend or no friend, he would not be in a happy place. His actions are a major disrespect to you. Sounds like he has you hog tied into thinking you are nothing without him.


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## dontknowwhat (May 14, 2012)

Sounds like he has you hog tied into thinking you are nothing without him.[/QUOTE]

I think this is a good point, now how do i get out of this hog tie, i am just lost


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

http://www.marriagecertificate.us/pictures/image/middle_funny-marriage.jpg


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Nf4EwcOeI...SI/HIasy5XYnpM/s1600/truth+about+marriage.jpg


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

dontknowwhat said:


> Sounds like he has you hog tied into thinking you are nothing without him.


I think this is a good point, now how do i get out of this hog tie, i am just lost[/QUOTE]

Your beautiful... you can get another mans interest if you wanted to... you CAN live without him... Be ASSERTIVE. These are just a few suggestions to help you boost your confidence.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

OP, I don't buy that "Your husband who is, mind you an *alpha male*.... *cuddles *with this woman on your bed" 

Correct me if I am wrong folks, do alpha males like to cuddle? This person is a self proclaimed alpha male! I have a feeling if at all he did cuddle with this OW it was probably before, after or while having sex  He just told OP part of the truth who appears to be a simpleton.

OP, You mention in the earlier post that you were okay with the spanking comments. You should have probably put an end to this at the time. That would have been "nipping it in the bud"... Looks like this is a full grown tree that you are now looking to chop down. The question is, do you really think it is worth it? 

If you give him an ultimatum and if he leaves along with the other chicks do you think you really want to be with this man?? Don't you think you should be the one kicking him out of the house and out of your life once and for all.


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