# Im pregnant and just found out he has another baby on the way



## ECau_Z (Apr 25, 2012)

Im 23 years old and i am 31 weeks pregnant with my first child, we have been together since i was 19 and he recently told me that his ex (who knew that i was pregnant) is 6 weeks pregnant by him, he has cheated on me with her multiple times over the years but i stayed like an idiot because i loved him so much. she has been our biggest problem, i have tried to talk to the girl but she only lies for him and she is just very uncooperative...i have absolutely no idea what to do about this. He says that he wants to be with me but he is obligated to be there for his child and i can not argue with that ... Thus far he has done absolutely nothing for my son, he is just there when it works for him, he doesnt have a job and isnt looking for work, he says that he understands if i decide that i dont want to be with him but he doesnt want me to keep his son away from him, I want to take my baby an leave all of this pain behind me, is that wrong? would i be wrong to keep my baby away from theirs? Am i wrong to say that I will allow him to see his child but only with my supervision? Would i be wrong to say i dont want him there when i give birth to my son? I feel like he has made something that is supposed to be the most happy occasion in my life, one of the most painfull he has done the most disrespectfu thing possible and he has broken my trust. He has said sorry multiple times but has really done nothing to show me that he is sorry, he continues on as if this was just another arguement. I feel like there is nothing he can really do for my son he is not a positive influence at all, and i feel like me leaving the sittuation would be the best decision for me and my child, i dont want my baby to see anger in me or any of the other ugly emotions that may come to surface due to this grim sittuation....Please tell me what you would do if you were me? your HONEST oppinion is appreciated. THANK YOU


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

EZ,

Why on earth would you stay with this guy let alone have a baby with him???

He has no job and he is not looking for work.

The only thing he seems to be good at is lying, cheating and knocking up multiple women at the same time.

He is not a guy that you can have a serious relationship with.

He is not a guy that would be a good father since he cannot manage his own life like a mature adult.

Get away from him now!!

HM64


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## stedfin (Apr 14, 2012)

ECau_Z said:


> he has cheated on me with her multiple times over the years but i stayed like an idiot


No comment.



ECau_Z said:


> she has been our biggest problem


with biggest problems like that, you don't need any smaller problems.



ECau_Z said:


> i have tried to talk to the girl


she's not the one you need to talk to.



ECau_Z said:


> but she only lies for him and she is just very uncooperative


Jeez I wonder why?



ECau_Z said:


> he doesnt have a job and isnt looking for work


A cheater, a father too 2 kids, no job and no interest in finding one. No wonder you love him so much, he's a keeper!



ECau_Z said:


> Am i wrong to say that I will allow him to see his child but only with my supervision?


Not as easy as it sounds.



ECau_Z said:


> Would i be wrong to say i dont want him there when i give birth to my son?


Whether he is there at the birth or not is the least of your problems.



ECau_Z said:


> I feel like he has made something that is supposed to be the most happy occasion in my life, one of the most painfull


The blame here is largely yours, you had enough warnings and you should have left long ago, long before getting pregnant with his kid.



ECau_Z said:


> . He has said sorry multiple times but has really done nothing to show me that he is sorry


He's not sorry.



ECau_Z said:


> Please tell me what you would do if you were me? your HONEST oppinion is appreciated. THANK YOU


If I was you I would have left the first time he cheated, not gotten pregnant with his kid after multiple times that he cheated.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I am a pro-marriage pro reconciation guy most of the time.

In your case leave him, kick him out. Divorce him. Go have the baby and find someone else.

Get tested for STD's.

And lawyer up big time.


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## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

Girl...take care of yourself and your baby! He should be the least of your worries. You do what you have to do and bring a healthy baby into the world. File for child support and def ask for supervised visits. You are young, he will change his ways or he won't, you can't make him. Don't cry and don't beg, tell him you are done and moving on. Then see what he does. You deserve more.

_-- Sent from my Palm Pixi using Forums_


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## ECau_Z (Apr 25, 2012)

Thank you very much for your honesty, Yes i take total responsibility for the fact that i stayed around long enough for him to put me through the things he has put me through, and the fact that i couldn't have had a child by a worse person, i accepted the things i did from him because i loved him and was too weak and stupid to realise that he didint give a **** about me i was unable to pull myself away, trust me If i could go back and smack the **** out of myself believe me i would 10x over i would give my anything to go back but im now in a sittuation i can not go back on ,what i would like to know now is what do i do from here. I have a son on the way and i want to raise him right, I have to be a stronger person for HIM. Please!!! what do i do from here?


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> I am a pro-marriage pro reconciation guy most of the time.
> 
> In your case leave him, kick him out. Divorce him. Go have the baby and find someone else.
> 
> ...


I am pro marriage and pro reconciliation under certain circumstances.

Not to get picky but I do not see where they are married. She just says they have been "together". I get the feeling that she is a current GF and the Ex is an ExGF.

Given this. You hold all the marbles, you can do what you want to do. My advice is to cut this loser out of your life and see a lawyer about child support.


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## stedfin (Apr 14, 2012)

He doesn't work. 

Forget child support you can't get blood out of a stone.


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## isla~mama (Feb 1, 2012)

I don't know what country you're in but in the US he would have no legal right to be there when you give birth. In theory you could keep the child away from him as long as he wasn't interested in the child. But he would have rights if he wished to exercise them. His involvement with another woman probably would not influence any custody issues. So you could pick up and leave and hope he doesn't follow. You would probably have to give up any child support claims if you really wanted to evade his detection. I'm not saying this is the right thing to do but if you wanted to stay off his radar that would be the best way to do it. Some men don't care about seeing their children especially if they have no support obligation to them.

This other woman is not your biggest problem, HE is! Walk away from this guy and don't look back. He and the OW deserve each other.

The best thing you could do right now is consult a family law attorney and live separately from him and go NC. Are you employed?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Dump the douche.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ECau_Z (Apr 25, 2012)

Yes i am employed, I work as a CNA in internal medicine at a military hospital, and im in school now doing prerequisites for the nursing program...My mother is very supportive and will help with child care when i return to work. You all have been great and I thank you sooo much from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to even writ me back. If you would like to continue to give your oppinion on the subject i would like that , but im pretty sure of what im going to do now.


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## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

Leave him! You're young and it will be easier now than years down the road when your child understands what is going on. You have your life ahead of you! If only I had known my husband had cheated on me years ago, now I'm older and stuck. It would have been much easier to leave when the kids were babies and wouldn't have known any better. LEAVE! You have a full life still ahead of you. The possibilities are endless! Don't feel like me, like your life was wasted. You deserve a faithful and loving husband.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

If you`re not married to him then leave him.

Get some legal advice in order to come up with some type of court ordered custody/child support arrangement.

Move on


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