# asking mother in law for opinion



## changingmale

I am wondering if i should ask my mother in law if she thinks there is any chance for my marriage to reconiliation? We had a very good relationship and she thought the world of me. Not sure what she thinks of me now after wife has talked to her and how much she has blamed me etc. Just thinking maybe she could some how help. But i have sent her messages on face book and no response after this has happened. I asked her if thought my wife could have starting menopause. What would you do or did? thanks


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## BluesPower

changingmale said:


> I am wondering if i should ask my mother in law if she thinks there is any chance for my marriage to reconiliation? We had a very good relationship and she thought the world of me. Not sure what she thinks of me now after wife has talked to her and how much she has blamed me etc. Just thinking maybe she could some how help. But i have sent her messages on face book and no response after this has happened. I asked her if thought my wife could have starting menopause. What would you do or did? thanks


Wow, you are really kind of slow aren't you? 

Look, lose this idea. The MIL is her freaking mother. She should and will take her side, and you will look even more foolish than you already do. 

Dude, you really need to get into some type of therapy. You need to learn about yourself, you need to learn about relationships she that you do not repeat any of the behaviors that you exhibited in your last marriage. 

Is there anything that any of us could do to help you understand that you are continuing to hurt yourself but chasing this women who does not in any way love you or want to be with you?

Is there any combination of words that we can say to help you understand anything?


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## changingmale

Well i love my wife and i love my kids. I want all of us to be together and happy. I do not think that there is anything wrong with that. And if she has beginning to get menopause that may have something to do with it. I really do not want to start all over with a female getting to know her telling her my secrets building a relationship etc. Been married 16 yrs and i want many more yrs with her so i see nothing wrong about wanting to be with her


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## Blondilocks

.


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## Blondilocks

Your wife might view your talking to her mother as an attempt to manipulate the situation - which it is. Don't go there.


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## zookeeper

Women absolutely love it when a man suggests that their behavior is tied to hormonal issues.


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## personofinterest

Are you always this controlling and stalkery? You are trying to FORCE her to communicate with you regardless of how stressed it makes her. Now you are trying to bother her mother??? Let it go. Your marriage is over. If I were her I;d be one step away from a restraining order.


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## Openminded

Let go of your obsession and listen to what she wants.


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## KrisAmiss

zookeeper said:


> Women absolutely love it when a man suggests that their behavior is tied to hormonal issues.


Yes, we love it! If you divorce, just say your wife went crazy and that will attract women like flies. We will know that you're not the crazy one.

But seriously, it sucks that you want to work it out and she doesn't. I haven't read any of your story so idk but I wouldn't like you trying to get me back through my mom. It would have the opposite effect. 

Appeal to nostalgia, what made you once a happy couple? Make her a photo collage, a video, some romantic gesture. Look within yourself for the issues, not her. You can't change her, only yourself. And though she likely shares the blame, no one likes to have a finger pointed at them. You won't win her back doing it.


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## changingmale

I am a Christian and God hates divorce and wants reconciliation. So that is what i would like to happen and praying about it. I feel like she still loves me. We would text saying i love you and the other would text i love you more things like that. Then 2 weeks later she tells me she wants a divorce. It is hard for me to understand etc. No i am not stalking her or obsessed with her


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## peacem

Leave the MIL out of it. Its really not a good idea to invite other relatives into marital issues - there are a thousand things that could go wrong from that. And IF you reconcile that would make for some very awkward situations.

I suggest IC. Then go from there.....


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## changingmale

Thanks i am not going to


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## Diana7

changingmale said:


> I am a Christian and God hates divorce and wants reconciliation. So that is what i would like to happen and praying about it. I feel like she still loves me. We would text saying i love you and the other would text i love you more things like that. Then 2 weeks later she tells me she wants a divorce. It is hard for me to understand etc. No i am not stalking her or obsessed with her


Is she a Christian? What reason does she have for ending the marriage?


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## personofinterest

Diana7 said:


> changingmale said:
> 
> 
> 
> I am a Christian and God hates divorce and wants reconciliation. So that is what i would like to happen and praying about it. I feel like she still loves me. We would text saying i love you and the other would text i love you more things like that. Then 2 weeks later she tells me she wants a divorce. It is hard for me to understand etc. No i am not stalking her or obsessed with her
> 
> 
> 
> Is she a Christian? What reason does she have for ending the marriage?
Click to expand...

 This is an example of someone using The Bible to try to control another person. I guarantee this man takes Ephesians 5 to the extreme as well. Not the love your wife part… the submit to your husband part.


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## changingmale

Will it is over so you dont have to respond


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## changingmale

personofinterest said:


> This is an example of someone using The Bible to try to control another person. I guarantee this man takes Ephesians 5 to the extreme as well. Not the love your wife part… the submit to your husband part.


No you are wrong


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## TDSC60

Did you ever ask her why she wants a divorce?


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