# IF you was the parents, what would you DO - College son's dilemma...



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Ok... I warned our oldest to NOT put himself in this situation....as it will cause him a ton of stress & to expect to get "stiffed" .

He rents with 4 other students (or maybe it is 3, I forget)...Monthly Rent = over $1,000 ...the way this is set up...1 PERSON gathers it from all of them , uses his own Checking account & pays each month....so whomever takes this on...puts his own butt on the line.. (& possibly his credit, bouncing his checking account etc)....I warned him up & down - he'd end up paying for some of them.... and here we are...

He called a few weeks ago asking to borrow over $1,000 .. I told him NO.. he needs to get rougher with his roommates...

This is soo unfair...and I am TICKED... because HE is Uber responsible.. to the point he paid ahead for a FULL YEAR to live there ...(he did this last year also when another was in charge- we all need renters like him!)...yet still even with that...these people can't come up with their share each month...he has 2 stragglers who aren't paying...

The Landlord has been Gracious on him...postponing cashing his check while waiting for the others to come up with the $$...but ya know ..*The Landlord needs PAID*....he is not going to keep holding out... 

One of them keeps complaining..."the bank is slow, he hasn't got his loans in".... to me ....HOT AIR / excuses...

This is my fear... these Jokers aren't going to pay...and our son is going to have his credit RUINED ...

... I am tempted to allow him to borrow near $2,000 to cover these people... But I'm mad as hell about it..... I know HE will pay us back... this is not the issue... I just hate to see his credit ruined like this.... Or maybe it won't be... I don't know!... I guess he needs to ask the Landlord.... Anyone ever rent like this?? 

Should I allow him to learn a hard lesson here... or bail him out ? 

He's been living in another town, doesn't even need to be there.... so if he never pays another dime, he still paid *his share in full *...but this isn't going to matter at all.....since he signed up to be the ring leader to collect ... He is getting another kid to take over (in transition) so he tells me.. .


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## motherofone (Jan 10, 2013)

When he ends up in housing court, the landlord can provide proof he paid and he can get it expunged from his record. That set up does really suck. They need to pay or make other arrangements with the landlord/ move out.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

He can talk to his landlord about the situation, kick the others out, get new responsible roommates or look for affordable housing for himself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

motherofone said:


> *When he ends up in housing court, the landlord can provide proof he paid and he can get it expunged from his record. *That set up does really suck. They need to pay or make other arrangements with the landlord/ move out.


Oh thank you so much Motherofone....I know literally nothing about this stuff... we live in PA, I have never heard of "*Housing court"* ... so the Landlord would take WHO to housing court.. just HIM or all of them? 

They all had to pay a security deposit & all of that...I would like to pass on as much information as I can to what COULD happen here ... 

I also wonder how Common this set up is? I seen problems immediately... The friend of his who was in charge last year....he got stuck paying for 1 of his roommates too... I am not sure how much.. he just ate it...

We had a large party at our house, I learned that night why one of them didn't show up, he was hiding from the other cause he owed him, and had no intention of paying.....then he ran off & got married....No shame.. and these are supposed to be Christians too.


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## pb76no (Nov 1, 2012)

His credit won't be ruined, just dented a bit. Exactly whose name is on the lease?

You did warn him & I think its better in the long run (not the short run) for him to learn the lesson of trust, especially when it comes to money.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

mablenc said:


> *He can talk to his landlord about the situation, *kick the others out, get new responsible roommates or look for affordable housing for himself.


 When we talk, he goes on about how Great the Land lord has been about this...he keeps giving him more time....very aware of his predicament.... but there hasn't been any suggestions on his part to take action. 

I almost want to call the Landlord and talk to him myself just to assure his credit won't be ruined..or what action can be taken against these roommates.. 

One of them is just utterly wasteful & irresponsible... he keeps going out to eat with his GF, thinks nothing of it...I think our son has been too nice to be honest... This isn't helping... he needs to get up in his face, take his damn keys, I don't know!... It's just a shame.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

He should talk to the equivalent of the "Landlord Tenant Board" (what it's called here) in his local area. Different areas have different laws. 

Around here, AFAIK, anyone who's name is on the lease is equally responsible for the entire lease amount. So... If your son's name was the only name on the lease, if anyone goes to court for non-payment, it will be him. No matter if the other kids have or haven't paid. If some of the kids run off without paying, he's still responsible for the lease amount. 

What's more concerning than his credit report is the difficulty he might have in the future in renting a place if his credit report shows a problem like this, or if he can't get a reference. That may be a local issue, where the vacancy rate is very low (so landlords can be choosy).

As far as what I'd do... If you think he's learned his lesson from all the headaches and aggravation, I guess I'd help him out.

C


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Is it possible to maybe set up a recurring draft from his roommates to go automatically to him. Many banks have transfer options or even a paypal account. Or some landlords have automatic payment options.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

pb76no said:


> *His credit won't be ruined, just dented a bit. Exactly whose name is on the lease?*


 I don't know all the facts...but when son moved in 3 yrs ago... we went with him to sign - a year lease from June to June...* all the guys renting there had to sign that night..*.. so it's not JUST him...he is the "collection man" -using his checking account to pay ....also I believe he uses this account to pay whatever utilities is not included also. 



> *You did warn him & I think its better in the long run (not the short run) for him to learn the lesson of trust, especially when it comes to money*.


 I DO think like this. I outright refused to cover this the 1st time he asked...he braced himself - knowing how I felt...like "hey mom..I don't expect you to do this.. but here is what is happening ......" ..... 

But still...you feel bad... now my husband would be more inclined to dish it out...


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Another thing is maybe have a written agreement in which your son can charge him late fees and legally kick him out after what ever your state says if he fails to pay rent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

PBear said:


> *He should talk to the equivalent of the "Landlord Tenant Board" (what it's called here) in his local area. Different areas have different laws.*
> 
> *Around here, AFAIK, anyone who's name is on the lease is equally responsible for the entire lease amount.*


 Music to my ears.. and something to look into. 



> *What's more concerning than his credit report is the difficulty he might have in the future in renting a place if his credit report shows a problem like this, or if he can't get a reference. That may be a local issue, where the vacancy rate is very low (so landlords can be choosy)*.


 Me & my husband have excellent credit, never late on a bill, never late with rent/ house payment... I want our kids to have the same, I don't want this blight on his credit record at all. 



> *As far as what I'd do... If you think he's learned his lesson from all the headaches and aggravation, I guess I'd help him out.*
> C


One thing he kept saying before some of this got worse, is how he thinks it's be great to RENT houses, he'd make ALL THIS MONEY..... I told him he is out of his mind.. I'd rather live in hell than do that, the way some people are! .. .. I think he is getting a good taste of how having tenants can be -to knock this silly aspiration out of his head...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am going to send him a link to this thread so he can read all of your helpful answers & suggestions....


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## pb76no (Nov 1, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I don't know all the facts...but when son moved in 3 yrs ago... we went with him to sign - a year lease from June to June...* all the guys renting there had to sign that night..*.. so it's not JUST him...he is the "collection man" -using his checking account to pay ....also I believe he uses this account to pay whatever utilities is not included also.


Get a copy of what they signed. If they all signed, then they are all legally responsible for their own portion, so it is not like a sublet, in which case it should not affect his credit at all as long as he's paid his portion.

P.S. - I'm not an attorney, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Hi, SA. I haven't read all the responses, but I did show your post to dh. He says you should not lend the money to your son. He said your son needs to take responsibility for the situation and kick out the kids who are not paying. He needs to stand up for himself.

He did say that if, however, you decide to bail him out, that you then get involved in kicking the non-payers out. Your money, your rules.

Hope that helps. Good luck.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Do your homework. Find out the renters rights and responsibilities in your county.

I THINK the drawback of having each kid on the lease is that your son cannot kick them out...if they are on the lease he'd have to have them evicted, or get the landlord involved. 

As far as liability, there might be issues in the "and/or" in the lease. 

Do the homework.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

pack all the delinquent renter stuff up. put outside and change locks.

when they scoff tell them when they pay up and sign a lease with him they can come back.

his friends/room mates are taking advantage of him. and he needs to man up and learn this lesson earlier rather than later.

if they take him to court ask them where their lease with him is.
if they arn't on the lease they have no case.


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

You really need to see what the lease says, but my thought is that it's going to be a situation where it has to all be paid in full or they are going to have the legal right to sue all parties on the lease. I did read that it can be done a little differently in some student housing situations, a good reason the double check the lease.

I found this quote on another fourm when someone was asking about a similar situation with a multi-tenant lease. 

"They need to UNDERSTAND that, unless the rent is paid in full, they (each of them-100%) is responsible.* It makes no difference if two of them pay their rent, because the rent is considered unpaid until the amount is paid in full.*..they are considered ONE group, a party to the LC just as you are also considered a party to the LC."

Depending on the land lord, they may or may not ever report to the credit agencies or want to take him to court. 

I'd suggest he work with the landlord in this situation as much as the landlord is willing to and get the slow / no pays kicked out.

A situation like this has to be treated like a business when you collecting money from people and if they don't pay they go.

I have a person who has owned me money for 5+ months now, the person has multiple rental units who they have allowed to slide behind on rent, then I end up being the one that gets stiffed.

I used the be the nice guy and be way more lenient about situations like this, but now I see it as a case where the only fair thing to do is to lay down the law and people pay or they go.


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

SA, each state has different laws and you need to check those out. Here in TX, all of them would have ruined credit if they didn't pay. Each person is equally responsible here. Not paying rent or getting behind ruins people's credit here and makes it hard to rent another place. Here, you also must earn 3.5 times the rent to even be able to rent the place. 

I have a rental home and am so lucky to have good tenants. They've never paid late. If they did, I would he in a pickle because I have to pay a mortgage on that house, too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

He sent me a message on Fb after reading ...too lazy to make an account (though he already has one here, he posted 3 yrs ago to argue with me in the Christian section)

He explained kicking them out will not help him at all if he can't get new tenants immediately...as their share will just fall on them...he still believes they will pay... when the loans come in..the totally irresponsible one, that is IFFY (he didn't say that, I am, I met the kid).... 

He says he is not worried about his credit ... just trusting the Landlord to not bounce his check....I can't see why he would do that, knowing it will not all be covered though. He'd probably take action 1st with them all.. I guess it is a matter of the Landlord getting tired of waiting on them.


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> He sent me a message on Fb after reading ...too lazy to make an account (though he already has one here, he posted 3 yrs ago to argue with me in the Christian section)
> 
> He explained kicking them out will not help him at all if he can't get new tenants immediately...as their share will just fall on them...he still believes they will pay... when the loans come in..the totally irresponsible one, that is IFFY (he didn't say that, I am, I met the kid)....
> 
> He says he is not worried about his credit ... just trusting the Landlord to not bounce his check....I can't see why he would do that, knowing it will not all be covered though. He'd probably take action 1st with them all.. I guess it is a matter of the Landlord getting tired of waiting on them.


I'd strongly encourage him not to write a check if he doesn't have funds to cover it. What the landlord can do is try to cash the check and when it bounces he can take it to the DA and ask for criminal charges to be filed. They won't always file the charges, but they can and it's a huge risk to take. I've seen laws in some states were bouncing a check as low as $1,500 can be charged as a Felony.


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

He needs to learn, unfortunately. The landlord has a right to be paid without a hassle.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Why is son acting as a collection agent for the landlord?
Why is ANYONE acting as a collection agent for the landlord?

Four names on the lease? Should equal FOUR CHECKS to the landlord. Let HIM kick out the ones who haven't paid him!

Have your son contact Legal Aid (free or low-cost legal assistance); they should be listed in the phone book or on the internet. Find out his rights/responsibilities and EVERYONE else's. 

Then, when the college year ends in April or May or June 2014, tell him he WILL set it up differently and correctly for the upcoming college year or you will NOT LISTEN to his complaints about it anymore nor bail him out. He's catching the fall-out he SHOULD BE learning the lesson, TOO!!!

*hugs*


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You sent him to school to get an education. You gave him the benefit of your sage wisdom and he disregarded it. Let him get his education. Painful lessons leave the greatest impressions. He's got the world all figured out, let him drive on with all possible haste.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

chillymorn said:


> *pack all the delinquent renter stuff up. put outside and change locks.
> 
> when they scoff tell them when they pay up and sign a lease with him they can come back.
> 
> ...


 Our son is much NICER than I am... he was here talking about this around Thanksgiving, more like me drilling him on how they are paying...I laid into him, and told him they wouldn't want me living with them, I'd be a son of a Bi*ch to deal with... another reason I wouldn't want to be in that situation.. That side of me is not very pleasant....after I bi*ched for awhile for him getting his sorry A$$ in this mess....profound moment here...He stopped..... looks at me and says...very calmly.. 

"I want you to know something.. if this was anyone else standing here, they would have walked out on you".... Oh my goodness... he was right .. I deserved that... I did start laughing... I was getting out of hand!

Yeah he is a little soft...

Here is his last message on FB about this to me...



> It's just a standard lease with 5 people on it and we just chose to have have one person gather rent its easier that way and ya know what I did not want other roomies to be screwed over if they had a slightly hard time paying because I love the guys as long as I get the money.
> 
> In the end it's cool I regret nothing about it except maybe I should have pestered the hell out of them more but then it would not have been such a pleasurable living experience so I still probably regret nothing.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

mablenc said:


> Another thing is maybe have a written agreement in which your son can charge him late fees and legally kick him out after what ever your state says if he fails to pay rent.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This exactly :iagree::iagree:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> *Why is son acting as a collection agent for the landlord?
> Why is ANYONE acting as a collection agent for the landlord?
> 
> Four names on the lease? Should equal FOUR CHECKS to the landlord. Let HIM kick out the ones who haven't paid him!*


 this is my exact Gripe, how it *should* be handled / set up....but I guess that's how they deal .. .they agreed to it.. what can you do! It does make the Landlords life easier!



> *Have your son contact Legal Aid *(free or low-cost legal assistance); they should be listed in the phone book or on the internet. Find out his rights/responsibilities and EVERYONE else's.


 I like that.. if it comes to this...I am a worrier by nature.. he trusts them to come through, at least the one waiting on loans.... 



> *Then, when the college year ends in April or May or June 2014, tell him he WILL set it up differently and correctly for the upcoming college year or you will NOT LISTEN to his complaints about it anymore nor bail him out. He's catching the fall-out he SHOULD BE learning the lesson, TOO!!!*
> 
> *hugs*


 He has already moved to another town...and goes back there once a week or so to deal with stuff...he is in effect living 2 different places right now...and in the transition of having some other Guy take the collection for this landlord (in the next so many months).. Crazy situation, I know..

But I will breathe a sigh of relief when he is out from under all of this.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

jdd said:


> I found this quote on another fourm when someone was asking about a similar situation with a multi-tenant lease.
> 
> *"They need to UNDERSTAND that, unless the rent is paid in full, they (each of them-100%) is responsible. It makes no difference if two of them pay their rent, because the rent is considered unpaid until the amount is paid in full...they are considered ONE group, a party to the LC just as you are also considered a party to the LC."
> *


 Jdd, you are always so "right on".. from my understanding.. without him here to correct me.. This is how I believe it is LOOKED UPON... just as you spoke / copied & pasted here... I wouldn't be surprised if it was worded in the lease just as this.....



> Depending on the land lord, they may or may not ever report to the credit agencies or want to take him to court.
> 
> *I'd suggest he work with the landlord in this situation as much as the landlord is willing to and get the slow / no pays kicked out.*


 I know the relationship between Landlord and my son is a VERY GOOD ONE... the Man knows he is doing all he reasonably can to get these guys to pay..outside of roughing them up, getting mean... and I know him...he isn't going to resort to that. 



> *A situation like this has to be treated like a business when you collecting money from people and if they don't pay they go.*
> 
> *I have a person who has owned me money for 5+ months now, the person has multiple rental units who they have allowed to slide behind on rent, then I end up being the one that gets stiffed.
> 
> I used the be the nice guy and be way more lenient about situations like this, but now I see it as a case where the only fair thing to do is to lay down the law and people pay or they go*.


 I agree with you ! ..... from all I have seen, it seems renters have too many rights ...it seems to take months to get someone out even....so much red tape...I don't know... a shame...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

tennisstar said:


> *SA, each state has different laws and you need to check those out. Here in TX, all of them would have ruined credit if they didn't pay. Each person is equally responsible here. Not paying rent or getting behind ruins people's credit here and makes it hard to rent another place. Here, you also must earn 3.5 times the rent to even be able to rent the place.
> 
> I have a rental home and am so lucky to have good tenants. They've never paid late. If they did, I would he in a pickle because I have to pay a mortgage on that house, too*.


OK a Landlord here.. Would you set up a situation where I person had to collect for 4 others, and what if that said responsible person paid his Share a year in advance (he was paid up in full).... but had the unfortunate experience of rooming with those who are always whining they are Broke....Poor me, my loans didn't come through expecting their roommates to cover them till they run into $$. 

Do you feel it would be right to have the credit ruined for ALL 4 (or 5) of them when 2 of them was the Bad apples ruining it for the rest? I just don't think that is right.. but maybe that is how it is seen in PA too.. I don't know.. so if the ship goes down.. even if some did the right thing .... they all take a drowning...

I think that sucks personally...a good case where you better know the character of your friends & their spending habits before letting them move in!


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I'd say, he gather the bums stuff and sell it in eBay. Just kidding, kind of


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

SA... you raised a good boy.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Shocked I didn't see this one yet, so I'll throw it out there.

Friend of mine's daughter has been through something similar. 

Get the phone number for the deadbeat tenants parents and call them. Even better, have your son call them.

My friend ended up pulling in one of his daughters roommates parents when there was an obvious financial problem that stood to affect the other tenants.

Many college kids get a stipend, or a handout (whatever you want to call it from mom and dad) That money is almost always intended for some specific purpose that the parent believes it going to be spent on ... and it often isn't.

His credit only comes into play if the landlord decides to report the delinquent payments.

The other option he has is to apply his pre-payments against the outstanding rent. Then ... his roommates would owe HIM the money.

In any event, the kids that are stiffing him should be doing what your boy did, call mom and dad.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

SunnyT said:


> *SA... you raised a good boy.*


He has never given us any trouble -like at all.. 

Got more of the scoop...he called me... He is in charge of gathering the $$ till June, then he is out....Lease done.... another guy got a "sub lease" to take his place from JAN to June..(a blessing)... there are 5 of them now.. (he pretty much doesn't live there anymore )....
He said *>>* "2 roommates about 6 months behind"...







... (what I call the irresponsible Playboy & the Kid waiting on Loans )....Son seems to have mercy on that one....

They are 2 months behind in this rent...his paying up front has carried them this far or they'd be further back than that... he refuses to pay another dime, *the Landlord understands this*.. 

Son also has a well documented *Excel legal spreadsheet* detailing every payment, from whom, when, etc (like his mother - Good BOY!)... in case further action must be taken...









The Landlord has said he'll give them till the end of JAN...Son seems to THINK even then he won't take legal action because of how much trouble this IS, court costs, etc. 

I asked him how much his friend Lost last year, he said 2 or 3 months at $280 by one of the roomies... Loved that college room mate... another NICE GUY.. but honest, and a true Christian. 

At this point, if son continues to get stiffed by non paying roomies, he lost $1,500 of his own money (his choice for paying up front I guess)... but anything coming in from them NOW - he gets to pocket since he is paid up... 

He still doesn't regret this though.. adamant about it even...saying if he paid for a College dorm, he would be further in the hole even loosing the $1,500. He has said this to me a # of times when my anger flares over his dealing with this. 

He read the posts here & didn't have real kind words for those telling him to throw their stuff out, and all the rough anger related ideas (like his Mother's attitude..ha ha )...he says we are all idiots.. that you can't "Run" the situation like that.. 

Even his Dad said tonight.. People are good for saying what they *WOULD do* (he sees the guys at work talk like that every day) ......but then when in the situation themselves... it's another ball game. 

Oh well ...He seems happy...How he won't want to "get even" over loosing $1,500 is beyond me.. he says he'll feel good about it if it comes down to about $700. 

Yeah....he's another genuine Nice Guy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Deejo said:


> *Friend of mine's daughter has been through something similar.
> 
> Get the phone number for the deadbeat tenants parents and call them. Even better, have your son call them.*


 He is rather stubborn and I doubt he would even supply me with this information for fear I may bi*ch them out. I am actually kidding about this..but he'd do it before he'd let me. 



> *His credit only comes into play if the landlord decides to report the delinquent payments.*


 Sounds good...he thinks the Land Lord would not hurt him.. I don't know. 



> *The other option he has is to apply his pre-payments against the outstanding rent. Then ... his roommates would owe HIM the money.*


 He is PRE paid to the Max...a Land Lords Dream... "Here, I'll pay you a year in advance ! " 



> *In any event, the kids that are stiffing him should be doing what your boy did, call mom and dad*.


Here was our little exchange on FB earlier ..

*I said* " Glad to hear he is stressed (talking about loan boy)... I still think he ought to borrow the $$ from his parents"

*His reply to me * " I don't know mother most parents aren't as well off as you guys , people are stupid and don't know how to save money"

Oh well.. .he got all the advice he needs... he is a grown man now... We all gotta live & learn...


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

SA, if all the housemates are on the Lease, they're responsible jointly and severally for the timeous payment of rent. As another poster said, if one housemate did default and the debt was reflected on your DS's credit record, he should be able to have it expunged.

It's a pain that your DS has the burden of 'rent collector' but, on the other hand, I've seen lots of Judge Judy (love that woman!) cases where the rent collector has actually collected rent from his/her housemates and paid their own personal bills with it! This way at least he knows the rent is being paid.

It might be worth having a chat with the landlord and having him issue a warning to the late payers that if they can't afford to pay on time, they shouldn't be living there.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Here's an interesting link for your DS, SA:- Roommates and Rent - What to Do About Roommates Who Don't Pay Rent

and this one:-

http://credit.about.com/od/toughcreditissues/qt/Dont-Let-A-Roommate-Ruin-Your-Credt.htm


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Cosmos said:


> It's a pain that your DS has the burden of 'rent collector' but, on the other hand* I've seen lots of Judge Judy (love that woman!)* cases where the rent collector has actually collected rent from his/her housemates and paid their own personal bills with it! This way at least he knows the rent is being paid.


 Judge Judy fan here too.. haven't seen that show in years though!










Sounds like some good links Cosmos ~ *Thank you !*


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

SA,
I fear your son might learn an important lesson the hard way. At that age, there's a lot of idealism and honor among friends... easier to do when there is less to lose (than there will be) and less experience with the world at large.

When I was his age, I had friends who really didn't care about dings to their credit at the same time I was working in Wholesale Mortgage Origination (non-bank where your mortgage application goes to get funded by a variety of sources). Wow, did I ever get my eyes opened by getting to see the credit reports of all the applicants. It impacted the prices they paid, though we did a good job of keeping it non-obvious to them. It's only gotten worse in the decades since then - his credit report will be pulled for all sorts of things in the years ahead - not just car and house loans and credit cards, but rental applications, insurance rates he'll pay, and background screening for employment. Late pays or action taken by his landlord will likely wind up in a database that's checked every time he rents in the future. Also, the differences between a good credit score/history and a great one are more significant than ok vs good.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Anubis said:


> SA,
> * I fear your son might learn an important lesson the hard way. At that age, there's a lot of idealism and honor among friends... easier to do when there is less to lose (than there will be) and less experience with the world at large.*


 You hate to tell him he's a fool for trusting people / his friends.. .. I've had that conversation a # of times..



> When I was his age, I had friends who really didn't care about dings to their credit at the same time I was working in Wholesale Mortgage Origination (non-bank where your mortgage application goes to get funded by a variety of sources). *Wow, did I ever get my eyes opened by getting to see the credit reports of all the applicants. It impacted the prices they paid, though we did a good job of keeping it non-obvious to them. It's only gotten worse in the decades since then - his credit report will be pulled for all sorts of things in the years ahead - not just car and house loans and credit cards, but rental applications, insurance rates he'll pay, and background screening for employment. Late pays or action taken by his landlord will likely wind up in a database that's checked every time he rents in the future. Also, the differences between a good credit score/history and a great one are more significant than ok vs good*.


What you say here is WHY I've gotten so very angry...lashed out at him... because IF this happens TO HIM, it is a grave grave injustice as he is more honorable than most could spit at , to have his credit take a dive in any way shape or form makes me want to strangle those A-holes he lives with.... Have to keep Mom on a lease over here... 

We are a larger lower income family, one could say I am a bit judgemental of those who waste their money frivolously & whine they can't afford to pay their bills ... we've never been late on one.. well it got out of hand with heating one year in a block house, so we built a chimney & installed a wood coal furnace...we eliminated those outrageous gas bills! 

This is no way to start a young life...I would rather him have roomed alone & paid more , if this ends up being the unfortunate Price- honor among friends... He is looking to the here & now... *I am looking at his future*..... and what a hassle if we/ I have to go in and undo some of this damage... and who would even believe him if he talked about it ...no one is going to care.... everyone lies through their teeth today. Our son is not one of those..... too honest for his own good half the time.



> *Thor said*: My eldest ended up in exactly this situation. There were 4 or 5 on the lease. One was chronically late, and then 2 stopped paying at all the last couple of months. My daughter was working a full time job plus going to college full time. She and one other roommate ended up covering the shortfall to avoid their credit being hurt..
> 
> My daughter and the one other responsible roommate kept the entire security deposit refund, so they did get a little bit back.
> 
> ...


Yep, this is exactly the set up ... I think those who are responsible should not have their credit touched in any way... it is situations manufactured LIKE THIS - that can cause you to HATE someone.. many people suck with money.. and when you are a Young college kid, there is no way to know -if you decide to room with them what is coming down the pike....

I make a big hoopla on this forum over character many times.. it's because when we enter ANY kind of relationship with someone who lacks in these vital areas, it will come back to haunt us -in one way or another. Even College roommates. 

What is so ridiculous about this is ..... our son doesn't even have a job right now -he did all summer though...and is looking NOW....& one of them not paying but goofing off -has a job!...


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

.


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> You hate to tell him he's a fool for trusting people / his friends.. .. I've had that conversation a # of times..


Agreed and understood. I had to learn it the hard way once I was out on my own. That some of the people who were friends and had my back in school, now that they are on their own and self-responsible are going to be less than stand-up when it comes to money, talk a great game and try to get by on what they can convince others to do. It wouldn't be such a big deal if the consequences of learning the hard way didn't have the potential to follow someone for so long.



SimplyAmorous said:


> What you say here is WHY I've gotten so very angry...lashed out at him... because IF this happens TO HIM, it is a grave grave injustice as he is more honorable than most could spit at , to have his credit take a dive in any way shape or form makes me want to strangle those A-holes he lives with.... Have to keep Mom on a lease over here...


Leash or lease? :scratchhead: Both maybe if despite being responsible, his record become tainted and you have to co-sign for him for a while. 



SimplyAmorous said:


> We are a larger lower income family, one could say I am a bit judgemental of those who waste their money frivolously & whine they can't afford to pay their bills ... we've never been late on one.. well it got out of hand with heating one year in a block house, so we built a chimney & installed a wood coal furnace...we eliminated those outrageous gas bills!


I come from a extended family situation that had people on both ends of the economic spectrum. Got to see the mooches in the family tree growing up along the ones who wound up carrying everyone. 



SimplyAmorous said:


> This is no way to start a young life...I would rather him have roomed alone & paid more , if this ends up being the unfortunate Price- honor among friends... He is looking to the here & now... *I am looking at his future*..... and what a hassle if we/ I have to go in and undo some of this damage... and who would even believe him if he talked about it ...no one is going to care.... everyone lies through their teeth today. Our son is not one of those..... too honest for his own good half the time.


It's hard because of the scale difference. You've been around long enough to know what it's like to slog through life for 7-10 years as an adult dealing with the world. Your son? His total 'adulthood' is much less than that - he just can't have the same understanding of how things can last.



SimplyAmorous said:


> Yep, this is exactly the set up ... I think those who are responsible should not have their credit touched in any way... it is situations manufactured LIKE THIS - that can cause you to HATE someone.. many people suck with money.. and when you are a Young college kid, there is no way to know -if you decide to room with them what is coming down the pike....


Truth is that he needs just how far he should go to protect his credit. Usually that's learned by experience, or as I saw working loan origination - discover that a lot of people will never learn, but be shocked every time they encounter the consequences of it.



SimplyAmorous said:


> I make a big hoopla on this forum over character many times.. it's because when we enter ANY kind of relationship with someone who lacks in these vital areas, it will come back to haunt us -in one way or another. Even College roommates.
> 
> What is so ridiculous about this is ..... our son doesn't even have a job right now -he did all summer though...and is looking NOW....& one of them not paying but goofing off -has a job!...


Grasshoppers love to befriend Ants, and spend plenty of time and effort to stay in their good graces instead of 'working'. I better stop commenting before I take a tangent off into entitlement princess syndrome and ex's.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Anubis said:


> *Leash or lease? :scratchhead: Both maybe if despite being responsible, his record become tainted and you have to co-sign for him for a while.*


He'd just have to live at home in that case, we wouldn't co-sign anything...not a car... His College loans are in his name also.....He'd have to work his way up...and out of it.. our family never buys newer cars or anything like that anyway.... He is pretty good at living on a shoe string...he hates debt as much as we do... feels like a noose around our neck...he didn't even get the meal plan the last 3 yrs at college...he felt it was wasteful... I was amazed he found a cell phone plan for $25/ a month with internet - then they raised it $10 a month if he buys a newer phone so he plans to keep the old one till it's dead...he is masterful for saving a buck..... We taught him well .... I don't think many women would appreciate his ways, he would only be compatible with "savers" for sure. 



> *I come from a extended family situation that had people on both ends of the economic spectrum. Got to see the mooches in the family tree growing up along the ones who wound up carrying everyone.*


 Yeah... reading this book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life early in life showed me how to NOT feel bad with those who push theirs on us....to have a backbone, and let them learn for themselves. It's good lesson building...so people are more likely to NOT grow up "moochers"...









My Dad & step Mom were Hard on me... I didn't get lunch $$ half the time in high school...working at 16...saved every dime for a car...when I needed car insurance, they refused to allow me to get it under them, I had to go out on my own, I was lucky to find an Insurer who would take me.... they made it difficult... I was independent even living there... but it caused me to be very responsible ...

We HAVEN'T been this rough with him... we gave him our old car.. we've covered the insurance so far while he's in college.... but he knows our limits... I have voiced them plenty....he'd just be living back here with us.... we don't mind !!.... but HE WILL ...so there is *his motivation*! 



> *Truth is that he needs just how far he should go to protect his credit. Usually that's learned by experience, or as I saw working loan origination - discover that a lot of people will never learn, but be shocked every time they encounter the consequences of it.*


 Since we've been together....we've never taken out a loan on anything except our house & property ...then cut our mortgage in half paying it off in 7 yrs.....We hate paying interest on anything....so we've never personally experienced any of these consequences, we could probably take a whopper of a loan out with our home Equity ...but we never would...we'd have to be desperate, like starving or something. 



> *Grasshoppers love to befriend Ants, and spend plenty of time and effort to stay in their good graces instead of 'working'. I better stop commenting before I take a tangent off into entitlement princess syndrome and ex's*.


 I know...I know....I could do the same here - I don't like when people abuse Nice Guys...don't even get me started when someone puts down a genuine Nice guy..... abusing someone's good nature...is the lowest of the low.. 

When you STICK who hasn't been good & true to you, somehow I would think it may be easier *to justify* (even if wrong).... but when you stick a Good person who hasn't done you any harm.... shame ..freaking shame on you.. our conscience *should* be screaming....but hey... many have that seared [email protected]#..... why my husband goes around saying nonchalantly







... when others prove what di**ks they are...that's his common phrase. 

Just hope son finds a decent job where he is living ... it's tough out there for everyone, doesn't seem a College education means all that much.
Appreciate all your contributions >


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

In my opinion he's allowing this situation to happen as he's been way too naive, at the same time his roommates will not take it seriously as they know that you as his mum will bail them out for the sake of your son.

If he were my son I'll get him out of the debt but that's it, no more. If he refuses to learn how to accept this responsibility then he'll have to learn the hard way. Get him to talk to his landlord about finding more suitable tenants, there will always be people looking for shared accommodation - always. It's not even hard to market the vacancy, just go on the street and tape ads onto traffic lights especially in CBD areas and near universities.



> Just hope son finds a decent job where he is living ... it's tough out there for everyone, doesn't seem a College education means all that much.


It depends on his ambitions and life aspirations, for the best possible chance of financial security it's networking that will land you jobs, then it's experience and finally it's your education. Even if one does get fortunate enough to have their potential recognised for career advancement they will hit a glass ceiling unless they have their credentials and not in terms of just paper but the knowledge to advance (and to succeed). 

Studies have to be ongoing as well, markets/technology are constantly changing and if one doesn't keep up with the times they will be left behind.



> I know...I know....I could do the same here - I don't like when people abuse Nice Guys...don't even get me started when someone puts down a genuine Nice guy..... abusing someone's good nature...is the lowest of the low..


This is unfortunately the reality of today's jungle.

I wouldn't consider myself mean to nice guys but I sure as hell wish they wake up and understand they have to stand up for themselves and not take the bullet for those who won't take the bullet for them.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Deejo said:


> Get the phone number for the deadbeat tenants parents and call them. Even better, have your son call them.


This is exactly what I thought the very second I read the post. 

Those little brats need to pay or their parents need to pay. If they don't then they need to be taken to small claims court or some similar avenue. They also need to be served a notice of eviction for non payment as soon as your son finds better roommates.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> pack all the delinquent renter stuff up. put outside and change locks.
> 
> when they scoff tell them when they pay up and sign a lease with him they can come back.


This!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Deejo said:


> Shocked I didn't see this one yet, so I'll throw it out there.
> 
> Friend of mine's daughter has been through something similar.
> 
> Get the phone number for the deadbeat tenants parents and call them. Even better, have your son call them.


Nope. We did that for the utility bill in DD's name. Deadbeat roommate didn't pay the last month, so DD called her mother AND her father to get the money. They mumbled something, hung up, and we never got the money. She continued to email them, even chewed the mother out, no difference. We (I) had to eat it; never saw that girl again.

That said, they were no longer living together, so she had no leverage. I say kick them out.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> The Landlord has said he'll give them till the end of JAN...


Why is the landlord talking only to your son? Why is he not banging on the door and talking to the other guys?

btw, 6 months and the loan money isn't in? Yeah, right. The semester would be over!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Ok... I warned our oldest to NOT put himself in this situation....as it will cause him a ton of stress & to expect to get "stiffed" .
> 
> He rents with 4 other students (or maybe it is 3, I forget)...Monthly Rent = over $1,000 ...the way this is set up...1 PERSON gathers it from all of them , uses his own Checking account & pays each month....so whomever takes this on...puts his own butt on the line.. (& possibly his credit, bouncing his checking account etc)....I warned him up & down - he'd end up paying for some of them.... and here we are...
> 
> ...


He can go to small claims court against his co-tenants and have them evicted and/or pay the rent they owe. Chances are if he just files a petition in small claims court and serves his roommates/co-tenants they will pony up the money PDQ. And chances are they won't pull the 'don't have the money' trick again, because they know what's coming if they do. While he's at it, he can get legal paperwork of the agreement for them to pay rent, if he hasn't already.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Also, a good legal resource for all sorts of roommate and renting issues is Nolo.com. They explain step by step how to do small claims court. My guess is just filing is going to make the money appear quickly from those who owe it.

And it will be good for your son to know how to do this, and moreoever, how to avoid having to do it. Don't be tempted to bail him out by giving him money. He can and will reach the bar on this one, it's all part of education... seriously doubt his credit will be hurt or anything like that. He can show he is trying to reclaim the rent monies from the other people, IF he has to go to court...there's no way anyone is going to think he agreed to pick up living expenses for his roommates. Usually it's split, that's the presumption when it comes to roommates/cotenants.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Who has an agreement with who?
Your son can't sue anyone if he did not get a contract with them.
He should pay his percentage and let the landlord collect from the deadbeats.  If the landlord is going to sue the guy who paid his share, so be it.

If you are paying for him to go to school, you should have told him that would cease if he signed this bad agreement.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

turnera said:


> *Nope. We did that for the utility bill in DD's name. Deadbeat roommate didn't pay the last month, so DD called her mother AND her father to get the money. They mumbled something, hung up, and we never got the money. She continued to email them, even chewed the mother out, no difference. We (I) had to eat it; never saw that girl again.
> 
> That said, they were no longer living together, so she had no leverage. I say kick them out*.


This doesn't surprise me at all.... far too often the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...as they say. Dealing with some people is nothing more than pulling teeth. 



> *turnera said: **Why is the landlord talking only to your son? Why is he not banging on the door and talking to the other guys?
> 
> btw, 6 months and the loan money isn't in? Yeah, right. The semester would be over!*


The way it is set up, 1 Guy collects it all, he stays in contact with the Land lord to explain the situation....I guess he is just trusting what son is saying about Kid waiting on Loans....

TRUE, 2 have been rent delinquent FOR MONTHS...but because our son paid for a full year *in advance* ...this upfront $$ *has carried them* ... .again, he won't put in another dime... He also isn't asking us...so he's told me.... whatever comes , comes.....He seems to be assured he will take no penalties from this..saying the Land Lord would not do that to him. 

Why the heck the Landlord isn't banging on their door to be more FIRM is beyond me, I know I would at least be writing some letters & contacting some parents..if I was HIM... I am tempted to call him - to be assured our son won't take any hits & how Unfair I felt it was that the Last Collection Boy got stiffed over $500 + from a deadbeat... 

The Man obviously doesn't want the Aggravation...he could care less who gets stiffed, so long as it ain't HIM...a contract is a contract. 



> *Hicks said*:*Who has an agreement with who?
> Your son can't sue anyone if he did not get a contract with them.
> He should pay his percentage and let the landlord collect from the deadbeats. If the landlord is going to sue the guy who paid his share, so be it. *.


... You are correct, he can NOT sue anyone, nor kick them out...... the Landlord has an agreement with 5 of them, every Student's name was signed ON THAT LEASE from June to June - (1 coming in mid semester taking son's place -a Sub lease)... with security deposits .... 

Son has a well documented *Excel legal spreadsheet* detailing every payment, from whom, when, & who has NOT PAID... in case further action must be taken...







... 

So No, he can not legally kick anyone out or take action against them...*it's not his business*. But true, as Jdd explained here... This appears to be the "set up"...



jdd said:


> I found this quote on another fourm when someone was asking about a similar situation with a multi-tenant lease.
> 
> "They need to UNDERSTAND that, unless the rent is paid in full, they (each of them-100%) is responsible.* It makes no difference if two of them pay their rent, because the rent is considered unpaid until the amount is paid in full.*..they are considered ONE group, a party to the LC just as you are also considered a party to the LC."
> 
> Depending on the land lord, they may or may not ever report to the credit agencies or want to take him to court.





> *Hicks said:** If you are paying for him to go to school, you should have told him that would cease if he signed this bad agreement*.


I feel like I am doing a lot of repeating here.. but He is paying for all of his schooling on his own... every Loan is in HIS NAME..


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

It doesn't sound like your son is under any contractual obligation to collect the rent from amybody else (unless I'm missing something). I think I would simply advise the landlord that I (your son) will no longer be collecting the rent from his room mates, and that he can find somebody else to do so or do the job himself.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> *In my opinion he's allowing this situation to happen as he's been way too naive, at the same time his roommates will not take it seriously as they know that you as his mum will bail them out for the sake of your son.*


 Oh Random Random, I know you mean well.. really I do... I don't know if he is naive or not...he seems to acknowledge on a pretty regular basis that most people are idiots.. though he is probably less pessimistic over me...he wants to believe the best in people...

Whereas I often believe *the worst* - till they prove otherwise.. and being a Christian, he has more mercy... should I beat him with a 2 x 4 ?







...


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I think what Random means is that it may not be in his nature to be aggressive about something like this, so he's hoping they'll just be like him and do the right thing. DD's roommates knew very WELL how to get free stuff out of DD because she sized her up and saw DD wouldn't get in her face about it. They, too, expected me to bail her (them) out. It took her a lot of grief to realize they really did just expect her to take up the slack. She's a lot more assertive now, but not THAT much more...


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Hicks said:


> Who has an agreement with who?
> Your son can't sue anyone if he did not get a contract with them.
> He should pay his percentage and let the landlord collect from the deadbeats. If the landlord is going to sue the guy who paid his share, so be it.
> 
> If you are paying for him to go to school, you should have told him that would cease if he signed this bad agreement.


Not true. If he shows he's been paying the rent in advance for these freeloaders, he has the tenancy on the apartment and can evict them. If he also has bank statements that clearly demonstrate that he has received rents from them in the past, and the spreadsheet he has been keeping that jives with that, plus he can show that they have been resident there (via landlord) (and they would have to show proof they've been living elsewhere and paying rent elsewhere) he can certainly take them to small claims court. We aren't necessarily talking about an easy win, but trust me, taking people like this to small claims court, who are just lazy freeloaders but not professional scam artists, will get their attention as well as the attention of their parents.

Small claims court does not require any contractual agreements. However, going to tenant landlord court would and would be in a district court under an LT case. Small claims is different. He can take each of them separately.


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> he seems to acknowledge on a pretty regular basis that most people are idiots.. though he is probably less pessimistic over me...he wants to believe the best in people...
> 
> Whereas I often believe *the worst* - till they prove otherwise.. and being a Christian, he has more mercy... should I beat him with a 2 x 4 ?
> 
> ...


In terms of the bigger picture here, the question to ask is has he learned from this; meaning will he take precautions to prevent a situation like this from happening again in the future?

If he has learned from this and is unlikely to make the same mistakes again, then I say to do your best to help him get this worked out (not necessarily giving him money, but perhaps more direct intervention with the non-paying parties for example).

That's the thing I feel like I'd be looking for is just to know that he "gets it" at this point and is unlikely to make the same mistake again.

People make mistakes, it's a part of trying to live and a part of life. 

Some risks you take pay off and some don't, but as long as the person learns from it, then I hate to see someone be so wounded from a mistake they make that they will loose their will to try. 

“The successful man will profit from his mistakes and
try again in a different way.” 
― Dale Carnegie​
Said profit may come at a monetary loss, but hopefully this experience has taught him a valuable lesson about business type of arrangements and he will take more steps to protect himself in the future.

Hope that makes sense.


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Small claims court does not require any contractual agreements. However, going to tenant landlord court would and would be in a district court under an LT case. Small claims is different. He can take each of them separately.


I agree. I looked it up to see if I could find any reasons someone could not sure in a case like this and could find no reason that he could not sue the parties in small claims court. (Which is at least up to $5,000 limit in most states and as high as $25,000 in some.) 

The filing fee is also typically small. 

Thought from an emotional standpoint, I understand this is a difficult situation, which would have been much easier / better to prevent than to have to cure / solve. 

If he has learned from this; perhaps it would not be too unreasonable for you to get on the phone with the parents and see if you can just get this solved.

I feel like the most important thing is that he learned from this. The goal in my opinion should not be to punish him or make him do it all on his own, as some people have implied, it should be to make sure he learned. He's in school after all....


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I just sent a message to the last Roommate who got stiffed over $500 handling this before our son took over, to ask him -if he can give me the Land Lords phone #, as I don't know his name or how to find him in the phone book. Just to touch base here... see what he plans to do with the delinquent payers ...and to make sure there will be *no credit repercussions* for our boy.

I don't know how often this Old roommate looks at his FB page though... so we'll see. If I ask our Son, I know he is going to tell me to *not* call anyone....



turnera said:


> *I think what Random means is that it may not be in his nature to be aggressive about something like this, so he's hoping they'll just be like him and do the right thing.*


 It's true, it's NOT in his nature to get Aggressive & up in someone's face....he is a lot like his Dad... Though strangely he would debate you till you wanted to knock him down... I don't know. 



> *jdd said*: *If he has learned from this; perhaps it would not be too unreasonable for you to get on the phone with the parents and see if you can just get this solved*.


 As long as Landlords set up Leases *LIKE this* & students think they are getting a better deal over the Dorms cost...this problem will remain all over the United states... it's very unfortunate.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Oh Random Random, I know you mean well.. really I do... I don't know if he is naive or not...he seems to acknowledge on a pretty regular basis that most people are idiots.. though he is probably less pessimistic over me...he wants to believe the best in people...


I do mean well, I'm just stating that he has to grasp the obvious.

Believing the best in people is all well and good - he should continue that.

But that doesn't mean he shouldn't keep his bases covered, he has to be more independent in this, wiser, and know that he shouldn't put himself in a position where others can(and will) take advantage of him.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst!



> Whereas I often believe *the worst* - till they prove otherwise.. and being a Christian, he has more mercy... should I beat him with a 2 x 4 ?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You know I would


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> *But that doesn't mean he shouldn't keep his bases covered, he has to be more independent in this, wiser, and know that he shouldn't put himself in a position where others can(and will) take advantage of him.
> 
> Hope for the best, prepare for the worst!*


Oh RD...if you could be a fly on our wall at home...to how me & his Dad talk .....we're pretty good at spelling out every possible PIT FALL that can come upon them....when it comes to choices ....we can be bombastic exaggeraters .... a little OCD on being prepared ...(after all we are both secondary Melancholy ..we don't live by the seat of our pants or just trust tomorrow will take care of itself, we figure in all those







scenarios)....

We try to bring some humor into our DOOM talk though... dad can get a little carried away....I think it's hilarious personally..







... I don't think any of our kids could come back & say...."I didn't know that could happen!" after we get done with them. 

But still...that doesn't mean they'll always listen! 

Ha ha... he sent me a FB message today saying this > 


> This may surprise but I have actually been reading the talk about marriage boards for some odd reason. I seem to get a sick enjoyment out of hearing all of their misinformed confused rantings about how I'm stupid ...


RD...loved this one..








I think he wants to do this to me right now for starting this thread...


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

SA's son, I think you're reading this thread with a bit of some sort of filter. I don't remember anyone intimating you are stupid. Too NICE, maybe, but definitely not stupid. In fact, you're one of the most admirable people your age I can think of. Don't sell yourself short.


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## LightningLarry (Feb 27, 2011)

Hello this is SA’s son here there has been a lot of talk about my situation and I seemed to enjoy listening to people talk about the situation. Some of the things people have said have been incredibly wise and could be helpful if the situation were to arise. Other things people have said have been well… since I don’t have a better word not so wise…
So first I will completely explain my situation how I got there if I regret anything I have done in this situation and why. 
1.	I had few options starting this year of college I have an amazing housing situation going on that is basically cheaper than any housing at my college ( every other apartment I looked at I could not get under about 370$ per month for my personal rent not sure if that included utilities or not its not relevant cause its already 370$!) . My current situation is 285$ per month all of the utilities including even internet everything (this is yes if everyone pays their share which clearly is not working out too awful well. So thus option one is pay 285$ per month with the slight chance of people stiffing me which I basically would have had at any other apartment unless I was by myself which rent would have been over 400 per month utilities probably not included… that’s a whopping 4,800$ atleast not including utilities (just an fyi I could not afford that I am responsible but im also lazy having a job and succeeding in college at the same time would not have agreed with me). My summer job was a camp counselor made me the money I needed for school so I did not need a job but it does not pay the best and it would not cover 4,800 dollars for the year nor would I even if I could.
2.	Option 2 I well live at the really expensive option (that I explained above) umm ya NO!
3.	Option 3 live with my parents and not have to worry about rent cause yes I could have drove to slippery rock and it would have been cheaper but there are things important that happened in my life that would not have if I was at home. As in I am currently living with one of my x roommates that got hired as a youth pastor in a town about an hour away (that’s why hes an x by the way and he got a sublease it was responsible) from school and were roommates again hes responsible and I am helping him in youth ministry and playing electric guitar in the worship band I love my new church more than any church I have ever attended and am pretty gosh darn sure god wants me here. 
So there were my options I regret nothing as far as the option I chose the other ones were clearly unexcitable and nothing is regretting so as all of you are saying “learn my lesson” if my lesson I should have not done what I did sorry I did not learn that lesson…

First I will explain, the living situation with my roommates. I have lived at this apartment for 3 years not trouble crappy apartment but It gets the job done. No trouble other then the last guy who took care of money got stiffed about 2 months worth of rent I think that’s the only problem ever and that guy moved about way before I took over the money situation. 4 roommates 2 that totally love Jesus and their awesome and I very much believe trustworthy, 1 of them has been giving me rent helping out when needed paying months in advance if it was needed since I was stiffed by others awesome guy it has been a pleasure to live with him. Other 1 of those 2 I also believe is responsible the guy is nutz though he has been paying for school by getting loans not through school not grants or anything apparently somehow he did not know about fastfa (not sure if that’s spelled right you get it) forms. So he is gonna be paying the rent through those loans he is getting a very large sum when the bank actually gives him his loans! He has been waiting for like 3 months he did not pester the banks enough apparently and the banks are butholes I guess (yes this is where my problem lies by the way). 2 other roommates one not a Christian but has been responsible and keeping up with rent payments awesome I however think hes wasteful with his money but I think that about every person I know (other than my parents). 1 more roommates this here is the irresponsible one I have lived with him the year before and he paid all his rent then he showed me no reason to not trust him (I love this kid to death other than he irresponsible I think we are the same person we have like the same personality. He used to be a Christian calls himself a Christian but nothing in his life points to Christ in any way shape and form and it saddens me (I believe the reason for his irresponsibility is his girlfriend I knew him with and without a girlfriend and they broke up a long time ago and he was good semi responsible and happy but now that they are back together he has only went down hill, become completely irresponsible, miserable and completely wasteful with his money. His girlfriend is really cool but she is a freaking NUTCASE! Probly the most emotionally unstable person I have ever met in my life so ya that’s the problem with him. 

So that’s all the roomies and I enjoy living with them and here is where I am going to interject about the “advice” that I have been giving about them. Kick them out…. …… ……. ….. Im not even sure how to argue with since one cause its one of those answer that I just think are they serious? Do they actually think that’s a good decision or are they being sarcastic or something. But ya theres this thing one its not easy to get a sublease I don’t know if you guys knew that especially not in my college town I worked for like 3 months trying to find someone to sign the year lease before we were in the lease and that was prime time to find people for leases by the way! Finding a sublease midlease is almost unheard in this town if! So ya that’s a completely ridiculous answer. The landlord wants his money whether 5 people live there or 1 so by kicking them out all I do is assure myself that I get NO MONEY from them and assure my demise of credit and more money and everything just a completely ridiculous idea. 

Piece of “advice” number 2 sell their stuff on ebay…. ….. ….. ………….. ok have you ever lived with people before? Have you ever had a relationship with people before? What do you think happened to life where I live with my roommates after I do something that dumb… umm yeah it becomes A LIVING HELL! I don’t know if I know anyone that would not respond in a way that would ruin both people’s lives if someone did not something like that. Especially when we are already aware they are irresponsible people (generally not the absolute most emotionally stable people that exist). 

Ya I suppose I am being kind of offending but I am a blunt person that’s kind of who I am and yes I guess maybe you though I had a different kind of lease where I could kick them out and not get monetarily penalized and if that is the framework you were working from then it makes sense I guess its mean but maybe this advice could have been effective mean especially the ebay one but effective if I had a different type of lease. But ya landlord wants full rent whether 5 live there or 1 so kicking out not a good answer ruining my life for as long as live there by selling their stuff generally not good ideas. 

Piece of advice (yes no parenthetic this is good advice) number 3! all the legal stuff ya I don’t know how that works but Im sure if I get to the point that I have to throw those roomies under the bus I will. But I do however love them they are my friends and as long as the landlord is patient and my roommates have a plan of how they are going to get the money I will avoid doing that they are going through hard times. 

Current situation long story short here I worked at camp all summer I had to deal with bills (cause I was the only one that could do it) I told roomies pay me by check and mail it to me at camp if you wish every month but I don’t really want to worry about it while im at camp camp is stressful. So there other option was save that money you will owe this much when I get back and I gave them the amount they knew that I told sometimes during the summer. I put in my whole years worth of rent to cover those 3 months so I would not be stressed while I was at cam. I get back 2 roomies pay in full and continue to pay in full. 2 roomies pay me tiny sum not covering give me basically nothing else one waiting for loans that the bank wont disperse cause they are butholes (but the loans were already approved) they finally did disperse them like a couple days ago now Im waiting for the school ugh pulling my hair out yes stressed. Why am I stressed because finally the money I put in was not enough to cover the lacking money from the 2 of the nonpayer’s. In December the bank said the loans would be dispersed about the start of December ish and now its almost mid January they finally did now I have to wait for the schools. 
The money ran out and my only current credit worry is that. When I called my landlord told him the situation he told me write me a postdated check for when the money will be there and im like bro I don’t know for sure the banks are butholes. So he told me just call me if it cant be cashed then and I wont cash it so far he still has not. The post date is like 20 days past now still waiting for loans… and I had to write another same situation post dated and it kill me inside but that what the landlord told me to do! I WOULD NEVER WRITE A CHECK I COULD NOT CASH IN A NAY OTHER SITUATION EVER I HATE DEBT I HATE LOANS I WOULD NEVER PUT A LOAN ON A CAR EVER!!!!!!!! So don’t tell me about how I should not write a cash I cant fund no duh I freaking know that. He also so promised he wont deposit it until it can pass and I also was expecting to have the money by the post date it is ridiculous the banks are this cruel to take so long. So that’s the situation I am not afraid of my credit being hurt in any other ways just these check that wont pass. When I get the loans life will be good ya there is still the situation with the other roommates he says he is getting loans and then he should pay me. 

Yes honestly I am expecting to get slightly stiffed by him hopefully not but I am ready for that to happen and even stiffed by him for over 1000 dollars if that happens I still end up better than the expensive apartments! 

Especially since I got a sublease since I am living with my other x roommate and basically I get 1500 ish dollars back because he is paying me the money I already paid for the whole year back since he is my sublease so getting stiffed or not I am fine as long as my landlord does not choose to deposit those checks and I also call him often enough to make sure he knows whats going on and he has been patient and should not deposit or cash them he has been a good landlord yes I have been slightly lucky in the situation for that. And I do know how important it is to protect my credit I think that’s all I have to say. 

Thanks for the advice I just hope I am not put in a situation I have to actually put any of it to use.

P.S sorry about the lack of smileys I have learned many things from my mom but I dont feel like mastering smileys since I dont speak on message bourds very often!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

What a mountainous







...Ok... The boy has spoken for himself...a little hot under the collar... .. Yet he's happy.....would do it again....even if he looses money...to Him...he's still better off... it is what it is. 

I counted.. he called the Banks buttholes 3 times.. 



> *LightningLarry said*: Piece of advice (yes no parenthetic this is good advice) number 3! all the legal stuff ya I don’t know how that works but Im sure if I get to the point that I have to throw those roomies under the bus I will.* But I do however love them they are my friends* *and as long as the landlord is patient and my roommates have a plan of how they are going to get the money I will avoid doing that they are going through hard times.*





> Yes honestly I am expecting to get slightly stiffed by him hopefully not but I am ready for that to happen *and even stiffed by him for over 1000 dollars *if that happens I still end up better than the expensive apartments!


 Can you imagine anyone saying this ! IF this plays down like this.. I am going to officially hand you this award *>> * 








*........*
Along with my copy of







...you're gonna need it !...... You know I love you dearly! 



> *awesome I however think hes wasteful with his money but I think that about every person I know (other than my parents).*


 You are So judgemental ! Got a kick out of reading this though!  



> *1 more roommates this here is the irresponsible one I have lived with him the year before and he paid all his rent then he showed me no reason to not trust him (I love this kid to death other than he irresponsible I think we are the same person we have like the same personality. He used to be a Christian calls himself a Christian but nothing in his life points to Christ in any way shape and form and it saddens me
> 
> (I believe the reason for his irresponsibility is his girlfriend I knew him with and without a girlfriend and they broke up a long time ago and he was good semi responsible and happy but now that they are back together he has only went down hill, become completely irresponsible, miserable and completely wasteful with his money. His girlfriend is really cool but she is a freaking NUTCASE! Probably the most emotionally unstable person I have ever met in my life so ya that’s the problem with him.*


 I was :rofl: reading this.. she is such a sweet Girl when we drop by !! ....How women can mess a man up ..... kinda a popular topic here at TAM... can't live with us, but can't live without us either!

If /when / Ever you decide to take further action....recapping the links here ...I leave it in your hands... 



Cosmos said:


> Here's an interesting link for your DS, SA:- Roommates and Rent - What to Do About Roommates Who Don't Pay Rent
> 
> and this one:-
> 
> Don't Let a Roommate Ruin Your Credit





Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Also, a good legal resource for all sorts of roommate and renting issues is *Nolo.com*. They explain step by step how to do small claims court. My guess is just filing is going to make the money appear quickly from those who owe it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

> Yes honestly I am expecting to get slightly stiffed by him hopefully not but I am ready for that to happen and even stiffed by him for over 1000 dollars if that happens I still end up better than the expensive apartments!


Or, you could use this as a good opportunity to practice standing up for yourself, since you'll need this in your future, and start demanding the money and find a way to get it. You're obviously smart; find a way to get it from him.


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## LightningLarry (Feb 27, 2011)

> Or, you could use this as a good opportunity to practice standing up for yourself, since you'll need this in your future, and start demanding the money and find a way to get it. You're obviously smart; find a way to get it from him.


I very much plan on doing whatever I can to get the money I have been standing up for myself in this situation. If you have not noticed form the fact that I like being cheap I kinda enjoy having money I can do lots of cool stuff with it! since I dont waste it! So I very much plan on getting my money back from him. I am just stating that *IF* for some reason which is very possible I do not get the money I still do not at all regret not choosing a more expensive apartment because I still end up making out much better With this option.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

My DD23 spent the last two years of college in apartments, with varying levels of success (mostly failure). So I get it.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

What kind of friend stiffs another friend for $1000?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Thor said:


> *What kind of friend stiffs another friend for $1000?*


 I never met this new roommate.....Son talks as though this kids Parents/ him knew nothing about







& he was getting loans on his own for his schooling...whether this means his parents are well off (and didn't need any student aid) or completely clueless - I don't know! 

I have jumped all over him about this kid.... he makes it sound as though HE is just as unhappy/ torn up over the situation (not like the irresponsible Playboy)....He said this in his post >> 



> *LightningLarry said*: apparently somehow he did not know about fastfa (not sure if that’s spelled right you get it) forms. So he is gonna be paying the rent through those loans he is getting a very large sum when the bank actually gives him his loans! He has been waiting for like 3 months he did not pester the banks enough apparently


I am going to assume this kid is not Lying through his teeth, that he really IS expecting a wad of $$ to be coming through the mail soon (or son should want to tar & feather his azz).....

FASFA is just there to say "Yeah, you are eligible for these loans" (Sallie Mae, etc)....but he has to find the Lender, sign for them outside of that...so he did all of this ?? .... I just called FASFA at 1-866-943-5319 asking about these *time frames.*......she said after the signing it should be relatively FAST (just a few weeks)... if there is some hold up, *there is a problem*... the kid needs to contact the Bank, explain his situation..... *when did he SIGN for them*..do you know ?? 

I would have him Call the appropriate Bank #'s...Put him on SPEAKERPHONE ...and HEAR the conversation about the time table for these loans to be expected in hand...just trusting his word should be getting pretty OLD here. 



> *LightningLarry said:* *If you have not noticed form the fact that I like being cheap I kinda enjoy having money I can do lots of cool stuff with it!*


 I can attest to this fact... he thinks nothing of plopping hundreds down on elaborate guitar pedals & monster speakers/ concert tickets...then will eat rice & beans months at a time... and well..he could use some newer jeans too...


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

.


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## muffin1983 (Sep 1, 2013)

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry in advance if I am restating another person's thought. I rented a house in university the same as your son. The way my roommates and I handled this is we signed 4 separate leases (the landlord agreed to this) and creating a joint account for the house for rent and bills. We each were responsible for our share. This seemed to work and we were all trustworthy.

I did however sublet my room one summer to a friend who didn't pay me rent for a few months. What ended up happening was I threatened to phone up her mom and make her aware of the situation. Needless to say I got the rent within a week.

Maybe your son should try to get new roommates if they are not trustworthy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

For anyone who was following this story, son just let me know that 2 of his roommates paid up till the end of the year -to help this situation out..the one waiting on loans came through with $2,200 -so now the group of them is all paid up till the end of FEB.... so that was great news...

I guess he still can't touch any of that, but 3 out of 5 of them ...Now ...doesn't owe another dime... while basically their $$ has carried these other 2...to prevent being behind. action taken. 

Crazy how that works.. but the Land Lord is satisfied.. and hopefully our son will still get his money -in the next few months ...instead of loosing ..(still not holding my breathe on that one though- especially with the Playboy)...

The Land Lord was ready to take action on Feb 1st I guess ..but gave it another week.. and this all played down...His check finally cashed.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

SA,
Does he have written agreements with the deadbeats? 

If not, he needs those signed ASAP. Simple contracts saying their monthly rent, term of commitment, promise not to pay for any damage they do to the unit, etc. he can likely get a simple agreement valid in your state over the internet. 

This type agreement will enable him to report them to credit agencies for default if they don't pay. And that will give him leverage. 

Separately he needs a one page for each showing their current balance. What they paid so far and the balance due. And they need to SIGN that. 

If they refuse, he SHOULD evict them as such refusal implies they plan to act in bad faith. 





SimplyAmorous said:


> Ok... I warned our oldest to NOT put himself in this situation....as it will cause him a ton of stress & to expect to get "stiffed" .
> 
> He rents with 4 other students (or maybe it is 3, I forget)...Monthly Rent = over $1,000 ...the way this is set up...1 PERSON gathers it from all of them , uses his own Checking account & pays each month....so whomever takes this on...puts his own butt on the line.. (& possibly his credit, bouncing his checking account etc)....I warned him up & down - he'd end up paying for some of them.... and here we are...
> 
> ...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

MEM11363 said:


> SA,
> Does he have written agreements with the deadbeats?
> 
> If not, he needs those signed ASAP. Simple contracts saying their monthly rent, term of commitment, promise not to pay for any damage they do to the unit, etc. he can likely get a simple agreement valid in your state over the internet.
> ...


Thanks MEM for the read... as the posts got underway, it was explained how he wasn't in the position to take these actions...not within his power...but I am happy to say -it all worked out ....even though I was blowing my top over this when I started this thread..

He had a whole spread sheet of who paid exactly what/ when for the Land Lord...*if* it was needed... thankfully it didn't come to that..and the worry is now over....the guys are paying up -plus... 

He recently got a Job (good for starting out for his degree anyway)....at one of the nations largest all boys schools ....with a focus on athletics to delinquent youth...he's doing what he's always wanted to do... counseling/ working with/ mentoring troubled teens...showing them they have a future and a hope...he loves it.


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