# I dated the psycho narcissist and lived to tell the tale



## Makeitstop (Feb 25, 2014)

Here we go....

I have recently exited a relationship with a woman i am 1000% convinced has NPD. Now I dont say that lightly, I have been in relationships w women who: cheated on me for 5 years, skipped town w my money and my cat, and a much older one who sexually exploited me when i was really young. I wouldnt diagnose any of them and yet despite my horrendous track record, it is the recent NPD,the Harvard Ph.d graduate, that 
I would point to and say "this is the most destructive" of my relationships.

That is, If i had let it continue or be as destructive as she wanted.

It started slowly, we met and we would spend hours on the phone, it seemed so easy to communicate w her and despite being a bit frigid and stern with the help on our first date (turned me off) she seemed so open and kind to me...I shouldve known better.

I had recently ended a relationship of 5 years w someone who lied to me pathologically and id been reading a lot of self help books about my doormat ways and my passive aggressiveness and such

I was proud tht i felt happier than ever and more than that, more aware of the wrong types of relationships. I felt i had a great command of my instincts for once.

Thats when she started to tell me that after all I had been through I shouldnt trust my instincts, that I was likely to be easily scared off and have a over-heightened sense of when things go wrong in a relationship. She also told me that my stories of being a doormat didnt line up with who she found me to be as a person, she told me i didnt act doormat and in fact that i could be quite obstinate and forthright and maybe i should even tone that down a bit, she told me that too could be an over correction

I listened and took what she had to say seriously and considered them, even tho friends who had known me over a decade were completely baffled by why she would say that...

things go well until our first fight. I felt like we had such a loving connection and then the fight happened and I was faced with a brutal Spartan soldier. I felt waterboarded out of nowhere, tortured and kicked to the floor, brutally attacked. I was in shock after the first couple of fights, in survivor mode, i tried to brush it off....I tried to make ammends however possible

We did make ammends and she showered me w love after and kept telling me how she had never been in a relationship so "healthy" and how amazing it was....After her saying this for weeks, I finally told her that it wasnt at all how I felt, that I felt things were very volatile and shaky between us...

gone was ever the speak that we were the megacouple and now she constantly attacked me for our problems, saying how volatile we were and basically using my language against me.

this was the start of her using my words against me. another time in kind and loving tone i told her that sometimes i felt like i was walking on eggshells with her....cut to a few days later when i get a VERY long email telling me how she is walking on egg shells w me.

this happened countless times each time i told her something about how i felt, i began to predict to the exact point when she would counter that indeed I was the one

I didnt know what the hell was going on, I could tell in her day to day life that control was the biggest concern for her. She had to have every tiny thing controlled and done her way, I didnt feel comfortable setting up a flat screen tv I bought for her bc i knew she would knit pick the way i moved the tv, how i set it up, etc, and sure enough that happened.
I couldnt drive her car (I have a perfect driving record) without her endlessly telling me where each stop sign, car, pedestrian was, and asking me over and over about my mirrors and seatbelt all the while she would be gripping the handles of the car like we were in nascar

she seemed riddled with constant anxiety and the way she dealt w it was control.

so I googled controlling insecure women and thats when I found out about and read for the first time NPD. This was a few months in and I thought about it but i didnt make any stern thoughts about if she was or wasnt, i just wanted to fix things

So I kept trying to fix things but she kept getting more and more volatile and violent, it wasnt long until I would awaken to 5 or 6 very long emails bashing me, saying how terrible i was, how id failed her, how unaccountable I was, how I never apologize, how things were constantly my fault....

I couldnt take anymore so I broke up w her and told her i didnt want her in my life. she began to hound me relentlessly for weeks, telling me how there MUST be some sort of misunderstanding bc she was a good person and so was I and we just had miscommunications

I heard her out, every night, until past 3 am most nights even tho i had to work the next morning....hanging up w her was never something she would allow, when i would be stern and say I am going, she would count that as hanging up and would berrate me with calls and emails and voicemails about how I betrayed her...so to avoid that I gave in to her "just 10 more minutes, look I will set a timer, I promise" that always ended up being "oh the timer is up, but I want to say one last thing, please, thats it, i promise" that ended up to 3 am....

So after all this, I finally think maybe she is right about the misunderstandings and she was being so sweet...that i took her back. Then things got so much worse, HOW COULD U LEAVE ME?? WHAT THE HELL? I DONT TRUST YOU. I WILL NEVER TRUST YOU. YOU JUST LEFT AND I STAYED TO WORK THINGS THROUGH. Daily I got this. I didnt want to walk away again after all the effort it took to get back in the relationship so I stayed and tried to reassure her, then it became about me about how I had an emotional backslide and how I had missed a few doses of my anti anxiety meds and how she had to pay the price by being dumped for no good reason.

this is how the narration went, i left her for no good reason bc i was "off my meds" and then she started keeping files on me. YES YOU READ IT RIGHT, FILES ON ME. Like the KGB. She would send me 25-30 page documents of our online chats and she would highlight each and every section she found offensive that I had said and would ask for a specific apology and rationale for saying those things. (the biggest one was me asking her if she had a diagnosis she didnt disclose) 

i should say that her exes were both by her declaration "crazy" and "determined by professionals to be crazy" and both were admitted to mental institutions (and had never been in one until their relationship w her)

and she explained it to me like she was this big victim who was drawn to people who would out of nowhere go insane in the middle of their relationship but that she was committed to staying with them bc she had been there when they were healthy..

looking back now i know she drove them to these measures and when they tried to leave, she wouldnt allow it. i see this now and it terrifies me. 
She told me she wanted nothing to do with those exes bc of the way they just walked out of her life, wo a formal goodbye or anything, and that they were clearly in an emotional crisis and therefore tho she wouldnt speak to them, she felt sorry for them. I remember asking if that that was true that they were just in some huge emotional crisis that lasted years after the breakup just bc they chose not to speak with her, but she got very defensive and angry and said yes that even her therapist told her so. 

When I finally did break things off with her after 7 months of pure misery and hell and fearing for my life, she told me in one of our lengthy last conversations that she believed I should be checked for another diagnosis than the one i have (i have aspergers) 

I told her ok and laughed it off, which made her irrate, she screamed YOU ARENT EVEN EMOTIONALLY HERE IN OUR BREAKUP CONVERSATION. and I thought no of course not, im done emotionally, but i realize it was a violent reaction to the fact that she tried to "hook" me by claiming i had some personality disorder and trying to get an angry reaction out of me and it wasnt working. 

The last time i saw her in person I had asked her to leave early after spending the night, it was around 1pm the next day, i wasnt feeling well and had lots of work to do, she told me it was really inconsidering seeing as she had an even that night at 7pm and by the time she would get home she would have to turn around and attend the event, i pointed out that she would have at least 4 hours at home, but no she said if i had wanted her to leave i shouldve asked earlier and that it was very rude of me...so i dropped it and she stayed until the event. as she left she told me i hadnt been the most pleasant of people, i was lucky i had her to deal with me, and that when i was ready i should call her to apologize. 

I remember waiting the seconds until she would leave, like i couldnt breathe, and seeing her leave my house thinking "thank god this will be the last time i have to see u, i will never make the mistake of having you around me ever again"

Later I got a few delusional emails about how she was willing to work through things and give it two more weeks and that she too has reasons why she wants to break up but shes willing to put those aside and be the one to save us. I replied to each one "Please respect my decision" and the last email I received was one about how worried she was, that i was both drowning in my emotions and emotionless and how breaking things off with me wouldnt be helpful to me in the long run and how i needed to save myself so i could return to her.

I again said "i am happy, im sorry to see you are in pain, please respect my decision"

This woman scares the holy living crap out of me. I want a restraining order but im absolutely terrified of poking the dragon. So i live each day looking behind my shoulders and locking my doors and praying she gives up on me. 

I am only grateful I got out and grateful that I didnt let her harm me emotionally as much as i may have when i was younger

thats another thing when i first broke up with her she was sobbing and yelling at me that all my exes had been so terrible to me but that id stayed with them and why wasnt i trying to stay with her. That shouldve been a huge red flag to me. Why was she even thinking about things in terms like that? in terms of how much i took from people? Was that all she was thinking when i told her my broken hearted stories from the past? "OH HERE IS A FOOL WHO WILL TAKE A LOT OF ****."

thats the only thing i can think of .

She had me so convinced I was the crazy one, the bad one, the one that needed to be helped and saved and needed guidance and she was begrudgingly dealing with my bad behavior, begrudgingly stepping up to the plate to tell me what to do in life.

she would call me a child, tell me i couldnt handle doing certain things myself so she would have to do them for me, etc etc, 

when i spoke to her about boundaries it was like garlic to a vampire, it made her sick and angry and she told me I had "high ivory tower walls" up. 

i have been afraid to post this, i have made several fake throwaway accounts during the term of this relationship bc shes an insanely good researcher and i know she will find them, she already has found most of them, and this isnt even my user account of choice but its the only one i feel is safely anonymous enough...so.....i just had to share this, ive been too afraid but i had to. 

If I never see that monster again, it will be too soon.

Please remember psychos exist anywhere, even with PH.d's, even with a beautiful face, and lots of surface friends who vouch for this person....

PLEASE trust your gut and when someone tells you your gut shouldnt be trusted, do NOT trust them

As for me i take full responsibility for my part in drawing these people towards me, and I am happy i emotionally cut off before the wounds got very deep, i am happy i didnt let someone emotionally break me again, they tried and it lasted 7 months too long and hopefully ill never let it get that far again . and the strongest point for me was realizing i dont care if she tells her friends i am the crazy one, or that i am going through some emotional crisis, i dont care what she says, i only care that I am free of that crap and I choose ME. I am not going to sell me out just to win some clearly ill person's limited approval. The only person who can protect me from psychos like that is ME. and from now on I have my back


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

This reminds me of a woman I dated when I was just around 19 years old.
Met her a a party and we immediately clicked , we spent the entire night dancing together and talking with each other.
It was almost like if she had known me forever , and she had a magnetic personality that sucked me in.
To say that she was beautiful is an understatement, and she had a hot body to go with it.
She was just out of a long term relationship.
So we got together.
Within one week she was giving me the
"_ I love you and we were meant to e together_ " kinda talk.
I was young and unaware .
Then all hell broke loose.
Things went well until she started to criticize everything I did , my friends , everything.
She criticized me because she drove a Volvo and I didn't own a vehicle .[ Although I was still at school.]
She criticized me for hanging out with my friends , when we should be spending time together. [ Although I hung out with her the night before and I just wanted to go drag racing with my friends tonight. She didn't like drag racing.]
She criticized me for saying that I didn't want to get married before age 30. She was 8 years older than I and began talking about her 
" biological clock."

She criticized everything, it was emotional hell for me because i actually thought that she was right , and I was wrong, because she was more " mature " than I.

When I thought I had enough , I broke it off with her.
She cried uncontrollably and begged.
I told her we should be just friends , she finally agreed, but soon after , we were back in bed, and back in a " relationship."

Same drama.

We got into big fight [again] when she threw another histrionic fit, and I calmly looked her straight in the eye and told her never ever speak to me again , or try to contact me..
Nevertheless she tried , but I refused to respond.

That was 25 years ago.

Back then I felt something was drastically wrong with either her or me. 
Now I have a good idea, something was wrong with her.

But I take full responsibility for my choice and look at it as a learning experience.
I think the hardest part was the emotional bullying disguised as intense , passionate " love."

I feel sorry for her husband.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I had a long term relationship with whom I'm pretty sure was BPD.

Not NPD, but many similarities. Everything was a big deal and yes, constant critisizing. You'd think I was a complete bum. The only reason you know you aren't a bum is because almost everybody else, including past relationships thinks you are a swell guy.

And then, when you confront her with "you're always critisizing me", she asks for examples, so she'd say "we'll that was just that one time and it wasn't critisizing, i'm trying to help our relationship!"

When in reality it was critisizing all day - every day.


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## Makeitstop (Feb 25, 2014)

Exactly. It eats at you. The worst part was being blamed for them HAVING to criticize you. Really??

Also First reply did she ever try recontacting you in those 25 years?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Makeitstop said:


> Exactly. It eats at you. The worst part was being blamed for them HAVING to criticize you. Really??
> 
> Also First reply did she ever try recontacting you in those 25 years?



Oh yes,
She tried several times , but I refused to even acknowledge she existed or that we knew each other. 
I became indifferent.
Then she got the message.
Back then she always said that I wouldn't reach too far without her .

Lol, my wife always teases me about her, because she knew her.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

How is then that psycho narcissts can present irresistible personalities?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> How is then that psycho narcissts can present irresistible personalities?


To me , they seem to have this way of sucking you into their world.
In the beginning , they are usually extremely nice and pleasant. They tend to shower you with affection.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> To me , they seem to have this way of sucking you into their world.
> In the beginning , they are usually extremely nice and pleasant. *They tend to shower you with affection*.


There is something missing here because usually when you shower a guy with affection too soon (like the night you meet them), they either get scared and runaway or think "you're easy" and take advantage accordingly.

Was there an air vulnerability? A feeling that there was something you could do to help this damsel in distress? or something else?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> There is something missing here because usually when you shower a guy with affection too soon (like the night you meet them), they either get scared and runaway or think "you're easy" and take advantage accordingly.
> 
> Was there an air vulnerability? A feeling that there was something you could do to help this damsel in distress? or something else?


I my case I was much younger than her so my mind began playing tricks on me.
She was the type of woman every man wanted , so on one side, being seen with her in public stroked my ego. Men would just stare.
But on the other side , she played lots of emotional games.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

When all you hear is " me, me, me, me", you had best
decide to make it "you, you, you, you".
Once burned, awareness becomes the focus.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I imagine they'd know how to pick someone vulnerable enough to stick around. No offense intended.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

NextTimeAround said:


> How is then that psycho narcissts can present irresistible personalities?


Normally, people carry their insecurities around with them. This creates an attraction to people who have confidence and can look life in the eye. Normally, a person like this does not need you back, which means that the insecure person (most people) cannot see what they could offer.

The narcissist has overcome insecurity by learning to never question that part. Therefore, they do not carry their insecurities round. To maintain this though, they do need affirmation on their terms. So, you meet and incredibly confident person who seems to value you, in fact they are desperately latching onto you. Everything seems fantastic.

Then, you are not what you were meant to be for them, you never could be. They are upset and angry and the confident person you knew seems destroyed. You go to help them and acknowledge you want to do better - their self image is restored and yours is compromised.

They are very vulnerable people.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Mr The Other said:


> Normally, people carry their insecurities around with them. This creates an attraction to people who have confidence and can look life in the eye. Normally, a person like this does not need you back, which means that the insecure person (most people) cannot see what they could offer.
> 
> The narcissist has overcome insecurity by learning to never question that part. Therefore, they do not carry their insecurities round. To maintain this though, they do need affirmation on their terms. So, you meet and incredibly confident person who seems to value you, in fact they are desperately latching onto you. Everything seems fantastic.
> 
> ...


Interesting as I recall dating a guy in my late 20s....for all of 6 months.... but then he befriended my family and since they felt that I had lead him on defended their friendship with him.

HE pursued me. but I guess that would be the mirror image here. And after I started dating him, that's when the insults came and the "I know better than you" routine....... then softened by his "wanting to help in any way he can."

I was unemployed then. My mother could see that he was helping me to get interviews at his employer's as a way to hem me in. I thought I was brought up on the belief that every "transaction" was explicit. ie, if he was looking for marriage on the basis of finding me a job, he should have told me that.

The pivotal moment came when he said "I can do better, you know, I can find a woman with a real job." My response was, well, why don't you then. Even now, 25 years later, I marvel at the fact that I actually got angry AND reacted. A good thing for someone who was taught to always get along with others and try to see things from their point of view AND give them the benefit of the doubt.

He did go on to interact as friends with my parents and two of my siblings. He married someone with kids; my sister took them on as patients she's a pediatrician and then told me she didn't like his wife as she were reassuring me.

It is amazing how some damaged people can lasso in the support of others.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I am really sorry to hear about your ordeal. It sounds like it was just so draining on your soul. I dated a man I was certain had NPD for about two months last Spring.

I was new to the dating scene after having been divorced/separated for over two years by then. I was a dating newbie and had only been on a couple "getting to know you" dates that didn't really go anywhere. I had done all of the necessary reading into all sorts of books (some of which we often see recommended here) and I felt like I had built myself up to be more cerebral about the qualities I was seeking for my next relationship.

This man was very self-assured, direct, with a good sense of humor. I grew to become very fond of him and he made it seem like he truly enjoyed being with me. Slowly, he would creep comments into his conversation which were meant to demean and tear me down. Then, he'd switch the topic to express how amazed he was that he found such a "perfect" woman... if only she could just be more like.....X, Y, Z.... He clearly expressed being "in love" with me, without using the L word. It was certainly moving along faster than I was comfortable with.

Well, it didn't take long for me to see (with the help of my non-toxic, supportive friends) that he was grooming me. I'm pretty stubborn and I'd had years of being torn down mentally by my ex H, so I nipped his crap right in the bud and told him I'd never change because he wanted me to, but I would change if I decided it was necessary. Well, I obviously released the Kraken because suddenly I became the most horrible witch who never paid him enough compliments, was ungrateful, etc. My actions were clearly demonstrating otherwise. I was always saying thank you to him, bringing him small gifts, writing him letters to express my feelings - which is VERY HARD to do when your heart has been smashed... as we all know here.

Then, after nights went by... hours and hours of conversations going around in circles until I'd pull the plug and go to sleep... I learned that he was taking notes on everything I was saying. Then he would use it against me in future conversation. Now, I am a realist and I always try to be honest, but the way he would twist my own words against me... I was blown away. I felt like I was on trial, on the clearly losing side.

Then came the really weird s4it! Telling me about his past conquests, his 3somes, how he needed to just go date some slvt on ******* to get it "out of his system" so then he could be more clear-headed with me. There's so much more but I don't wish to share it here. Believe me, there's no way I could make it up, it is that good.

We did not have sex, thank the Universe or whatever you believe in, that we did not have sex.

I made up my mind to cut him loose, but before I could, he completely love-bombed me over a text, then over the phone, and made me feel like absolute crap. Of course, I knew better than to believe him but it cut me deeply. Looking back, I am very glad that he did the breaking up, because if I had done it, there is no way I could have predicted his reaction. It would have been taking way too much power away from him. I immediately blocked him on everything and I have purposely avoided driving anywhere near where he lives.

I was blessed to have started dating a man several months after that ordeal who is a million times better in all respects. I am still blessed.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Satya, did he have friends, family, acquaintances or supporters of some sort around him? I always wonder how these types maintain a fan club.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Seems you are beating yourself up for being part of this relationship. I don't see I that way. I say good on you for recognizing the red flags and getting out prior to getting Married. I wish I had been this intelligent


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I think these conversations are great because we can pool experiences and identify the small details that can make the difference in identifying someone toxic sooner rather than later.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Just for the record, all of your actions that you described actually were those of a doormat (Nice Guy). No matter how much you read, until you start making changes in your ACTIONS, you're still a doormat personality. Did you read NMMNG?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Makeitstop said:


> and she explained it to me like she was this big victim who was drawn to people who would out of nowhere go insane in the middle of their relationship but that she was committed to staying with them bc she had been there when they were healthy...


Jeepers Stop... I sort of started to feel like I was going insane just reading your tale of her crazy-making behavior! I can see why she drove the poor souls to the nut house.

Kudos to you for extricating yourself from a very toxic person...:smthumbup:


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I am intrigued as to how narcs get as far as they do.

I was watching a documentary on nannies. A woman admitted she hired an awful nanny who shirked her responsibilities, stole some of her jewelry and wrecked one of their cars. The employer (mother) before caught up with her and told her that if she (the current mother /employer) had asked she would have told her about a same experience. The current employer admitted that she did ask the nanny about her past employer. the nanny said that she (the past employer) was crazy and she (the current employer) somehow wanted to believe it.

To me this is like nuclear fallout, something is going on that we don't see but is f*cking significant.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> Satya, did he have friends, family, acquaintances or supporters of some sort around him? I always wonder how these types maintain a fan club.


Yes, he was very well known in his industry - had a lot of higher-ups that he considered as mentors and also colleagues who seemed to have respect for him (his words, so who knows?).

He was also very close to his family, which was another aspect I did not mention. During our phone conversations, he would tell me that he had discussed our personal life with members of his family and that they were "behind him" in what he felt and that I was clearly outnumbered in how I felt and therefore, my feelings weren't valid.

He said this while also bigging up his family, telling me how he can't wait for me to meet them. So, I felt impending doom, not knowing what it was that he was actually saying about me to them. Much of the things he told them I told him in confidence and it was most certainly none of their business.

I think that a narcissist will say anything to make them seem great. Whether he was telling the truth about his family's "support" is anyone's guess. I learned that beneath an exterior of self-confidence, he was very, very insecure underneath.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Satya said:


> Yes, he was very well known in his industry - had a lot of higher-ups that he considered as mentors and also colleagues who seemed to have respect for him (his words, so who knows?).
> 
> He was also very close to his family, which was another aspect I did not mention. *During our phone conversations, he would tell me that he had discussed our personal life with members of his family and that they were "behind him" in what he felt and that I was clearly outnumbered in how I felt and therefore, my feelings weren't valid.
> *
> ...


My psycho narc engaged the support of MY family members to isolate me. Fortunately, my fiance happily keeps his distance from my family.


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## Makeitstop (Feb 25, 2014)

Satya! You have NO idea how true your story rang for me! When she couldnt just copy and paste she also wrote on notepads things i would say and twist them against me too!!!

I used to tell her I refuse to be on trial bc i was constantly cross examined, for small things (once like how the shower broke when we were visiting my dads house...I received all hell for that one)

And she tried to literally "referee" our arguments, bc she said she was "trained by professionals" on how to do fair fighting tactics. 

I said you cannot referee a game you are a part of. She would constantly send me articles on things she thought i could improve on and I one time received high praise from the head of my department, stating my work was better than this very famous persons work, i excitedly told her, to which she called me to up to reassure me tht she had compared the two works side by side and that tho my department head was obviously a very flattering man, i was not better than the famous person, and i still had much growing to do in my field...but then she encouraged me.

I laughed and jokingly said "well thanks for calling me up just to reassure me Im not as good as someone else said..." first as a total joke but then i heard it and i thought holy...crap that IS what she is doing and thats really not ok....

Its not like its even her field of study! 

And yes she often did the "Im doing this bc i know better" and then softened it to "im sorry i just want to be of help, why dont u let me help you, what happened in your past?" BS.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

I will read your story shortly, but before I do, I imagine you were blinded by the size of her boobs, her trim waist and long flowing shiny hair, and only got with her so you could show her off. She had a smile that flashed a little too quickly, and she revealed some very odd and extreme opinions, but you overlooked them, because... see above.

That's my bet.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

I'm sorry, but having now read your article, I can find no references to her outstanding physical beauty.

You mention her having odd behaviour toward the 'help', which is no doubt a sign that she holds an extreme opinion, but apparently she didn't voice it to you.

But she had the quick smile, just for you, so you chose to ignore the signs your subconscious were sending you. So far, so good.

You should amend the first thing, because your story doesn't make any sense if she's just an average looking woman. Was she one of the best looking girls you've ever dated, or not?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Sandfly said:


> I
> 
> *Was she one of the best looking girls you've ever dated, or not?*


Yup!

She was the type of woman everyone's eyes just fell on when she entered a crowded room. 
And she also dressed the part.
In my case she was, and she drove a Volvo sedan!

She used to give me lots of pictures of herself, very photogenic.


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## Makeitstop (Feb 25, 2014)

she was hot, to me, i dont think to most people though. (I do believe she thinks she is hotter than 99% of the population) Appearance was HUGE for her. 

like no boobs (and thats kind of a big thing for me physically) and really underweight (she said she was insecure about it but really i think she was secretly anorexic/bulimic and liked being a 0), i think if she had gotten to be a normal physical size she couldve easily been more pretty, also when she was younger she was clearly a knock out...less so now

It wasnt so much her physically that i liked a lot (sex was great, which i wasnt expecting) but it was her career and ambition i loved. My last gf of 5 years was a total bum, couldnt hold down a job, had no dreams, so I wanted someone very accomplished, someone I could admire.


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