# I chickened out ,so upset with myself



## Snowflake (Feb 19, 2012)

Okay I was so determined I was gonna just come right out and ask him to delete the sent emails .
I also thought of just doing it myself .
Chickened out BIG TIME .

Maybe I am over thinking this ?
Maybe its no big deal ?

I don't know I am only 1 week out of Dday so I don't know .
Plus posting her makes me feel so weak and needy .

Should I just drop it and not bring it up ,just tell myself to forget about it ?


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

your emotions are going to be all over the place for a while, and thats ok.
Please do not stop posting or asking questions, you are not weak and needy, lots and lots of good folks on here to help, listen, advise and share similar stories....
You can and will get thru it, everyone can, just takes some time

sorry you are here...........


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## Snowflake (Feb 19, 2012)

Thanks I just can't believe I am here .
Yeah my emotions seems to be all over the map...


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Snowflake said:


> Thanks I just can't believe I am here .
> Yeah my emotions seems to be all over the map...


yeah they will be for sure, sucks I know, but you have the good fortune of finding this place very soon, wish I had right away, would have saved me some time and pain. 
You can gain a lot by reading replys to your posts, and the links, Read them they will help you to become stronger emotionally....knowledge is power....


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

In the beginning you are going to think you are crazy. You aren't going to trust your own thoughts. Take your time. Take a deep breath. You are going to go through the same stages of loss as if you just had a loved one die. It will get better. You will begin to think more clearly as time passes. Don't pressure yourself. Deal with what you can. Put the rest aside for when you feel better equipped to handle it. There is no time limit on this.


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## Snowflake (Feb 19, 2012)

Thanks its just nagging at my mind ,about the saved sent emails ,and that other social network place .

Its like part of me is dying to know and the other side says no you don't want to know ...


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Snowflake said:


> Thanks its just nagging at my mind ,about the saved sent emails ,and that other social network place .
> 
> Its like part of me is dying to know and the other side says no you don't want to know ...


Can you deal with what you may find? do you have to know right this second, can you hold out another 10 min, another day?....


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## Snowflake (Feb 19, 2012)

strugglinghusband said:


> Can you deal with what you may find? do you have to know right this second, can you hold out another 10 min, another day?....


I don't honestly know ,I just spent 30 minutes on the treadmill trying to clear my head .
Part of me thinks I should just go in and delete the sent emails ,every time I see the email address it bugs me ,of course I know I could just stop snooping .

As to the social network site boy I just wish I could know for 100% that he has deleted himself off the site and is not just sneaking around behind my back .

I know there are keyloggers but he also has a tablet that can connect ,I don't know much about checking it out to see if that is clean or not .
He left the laptop one day and I knew he was going to be gone so I snooped around but all I could find where the old sent emails ,nothing else .
Maybe I am more sneaky then he is ,because if it was me I would not have given out my regular email addy I would have made up a new one and stuff .


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Then if you dont know what to do about them right now, then dont do anything they are not going anywhere, once you know for sure what you want to do, then do it...


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I wanted to know as much as possible.

This weekend I was on my WS's computer which she has limited access at this time. I had found downloaded music that she downloaded during her A with the OM. In fact the 1st time they had sex the OM posted a song on his FB later that evening. My WS had downloaded another song by this artist and she never listened to her before. Just triggers.


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## Snowflake (Feb 19, 2012)

strugglinghusband said:


> Then if you dont know what to do about them right now, then dont do anything they are not going anywhere, once you know for sure what you want to do, then do it...



Thanks your right maybe he will get a clue and delete them himself ...


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## Snowflake (Feb 19, 2012)

Thorburn said:


> I wanted to know as much as possible.
> 
> This weekend I was on my WS's computer which she has limited access at this time. I had found downloaded music that she downloaded during her A with the OM. In fact the 1st time they had sex the OM posted a song on his FB later that evening. My WS had downloaded another song by this artist and she never listened to her before. Just triggers.


Wow sorry about that ...your right certain things do trigger a response


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