# Chumplady wisdom!! The Mindf**K Only Has Three Channels



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

The way @chumplady breaks down the cheater script is wonderful...she is the ninja of infidelity if you ask me lol

______________________________________________

The Mind**** Only Has Three Channels

February 1, 2016 by Chump Lady

I have a cousin who is going through a miserable divorce with a cheater. Long marriage, double life, financial abuse. You guys know the drill.

I’ve been her cheerleader throughout, providing chump drubbings and 2x4s as necessary. (Apparently, the chump gene is hereditary. My cousin had a pretty bad congenital case of chumpiness, like yours truly.)

Anywho, she’s finally in the home stretch. She filed at last.

Guess who’s sniffing around her door all sad and furious?

That’s right — Mr. Disordered Cheaterpants with his Hail Mary plays for kibbles.

Oh sh!t, she really went and got a lawyer. Oh sh!t, he’s losing his chumpy meal ticket. Oh sh!t, he needs to reassert control.

If you’re a Mr. (or Mrs.) Disordered Cheaterpants, how are you going to reassert control over your chump? A show of hands, class! You’ve lived this. Tell me. What comes next?

That’s right! The MINDF*CK.

(read the rest here)


----------



## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

I LOVE Chump Lady. :wink2:


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

LOL...

"Cheaterpants"

:lol: :rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Whoa, Mr. Cheaterpants sounds just like my sister in law except she's Mrs. Cheaterpants.


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

OMG. Charm. Rage. Self-pity. Those truly are the only three channels on my Cheaterpants' TV.

I was just telling someone recently that he can go from being as sweet as cherry pie one day for no apparent reason - but usually because he wants something, to raging about nothing and everything the next. I actually prefer the raging. And the self-pity is almost constant. "I'm so tired." "I'm exhausted." "I'm always gonna end up disappointing both of you." Cry me a river, b!tch.


----------



## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

_"If you can’t intimidate your chump, seduce your chump. If you can’t seduce your chump, get them to feel very, very sorry for you and imply this is All Their Fault. If you can’t get your chump to feel sorry for you, intimidate your chump. Repeat."_

pretty accurate


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

VeryHurt said:


> I LOVE Chump Lady. :wink2:


Chumplady is the antidote to self-pitying, blame-shifting cheaters :grin2:


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> OMG. Charm. Rage. Self-pity. Those truly are the only three channels on my Cheaterpants' TV.
> 
> I was just telling someone recently that he can go from being as sweet as cherry pie one day for no apparent reason - but usually because he wants something, to raging about nothing and everything the next. I actually prefer the raging. *And the self-pity is almost constant. "I'm so tired." "I'm exhausted." "I'm always gonna end up disappointing both of you*." Cry me a river, b!tch.


You have to love the self-pitying cheater...they fvck up your life and then about how THEIR life is sooooooooooooooo tough...you are right "cry me a river b!tch!!"


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

sixty-eight said:


> _"If you can’t intimidate your chump, seduce your chump. If you can’t seduce your chump, get them to feel very, very sorry for you and imply this is All Their Fault. If you can’t get your chump to feel sorry for you, intimidate your chump. Repeat."_
> 
> pretty accurate


She cuts right through the bullsh!t of cheaters...she sharp, merciless and absolutely fantastic!! >


----------



## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

I really wish I had learned these things a few years ago but it is great to have this information now as it validates my decisions I have made concerning my STBX. Chumplady seems to know him......


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

5Creed said:


> I really wish I had learned these things a few years ago but it is great to have this information now as it validates my decisions I have made concerning my STBX. Chumplady seems to know him......


Her knack for cutting through BS is amazing.....she leaves cheaters no ability to hide behind their excuses


----------



## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

If only more betrayed spouses could be strong right at the beginning of discovery and be able to think clearly; which means not falling for all the sh*tty lies cheaters tell! 

I would say she is a master at it all!


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

5Creed said:


> If only more betrayed spouses could be strong right at the beginning of discovery and be able to think clearly; which means not falling for all the sh*tty lies cheaters tell!
> 
> I would say she is a master at it all!


I post her articles becuase A) they are useful for BSs B) I want to direct as many BSs to her writing as possible so they can soak up her knowledge and her energy!!
@chumplady is a master at it all, and she is damned funny as well!! "cheaterpants" LOL!!!

We need a @chumplady dictionary of terms for infidelity....


----------



## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

Yes; so glad that you post her articles!! Very good information! It is therapeutic to be able to laugh or even just smile about these hellish situations some of us find ourselves in.


Her sense of humor is a lot like mine so I relate very well to her~I especially like her bad words that go along with her wise ones.


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

5Creed said:


> Yes; so glad that you post her articles!! Very good information! It is therapeutic to be able to laugh or even just smile about these hellish situations some of us find ourselves in.
> 
> 
> Her sense of humor is a lot like mine so I relate very well to her~I especially like her bad words that go along with her wise ones.


I'm glad you find them useful!! I do like her combination sage wisdom with her potty mouth!! I love the phrases she uses as well...one I really like one of her commenters came up with *"b!tch cookies" :Expecting praise or reward for something you should/shouldn’t do anyway.* Like when cheaters say "I was faithful for the first x years of my marriage" uh huh here's your cookie!...lol


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Truthseeker1 said:


> I'm glad you find them useful!! I do like her combination sage wisdom with her potty mouth!! I love the phrases she uses as well...one I really like one of her commenters came up with *"b!tch cookies" :Expecting praise or reward for something you should/shouldn’t do anyway.* Like when cheaters say "I was faithful for the first x years of my marriage" uh huh here's your cookie!...lol


I got that one, too. It went like this: "I didn't cheat on you for 24 years, even when everybody else was doing it" - implying that it was such a sacrifice to stay faithful to me - which he actually didn't - he also had two long-term EAs that I know about - and I drove him to finally break down and do it because I was such an awful wife. My response to that was, "Let me polish your medal." But, yes, "Here's your cookie, b!tch" would have been better.

I also love "ego kibble." That's exactly what the OW and OM give WSs. They haven't had to put up with all their crap for years and years and been beaten down by their constant criticism, so they're there to tell them how amazing they are and give them that constant validation - ego kibble - the narcissists that they are crave.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The problem is they have another channel. It is called Cheatervision and it broadcasts a limited range of programmes such as "My spouse doesn’t understand me" "This is only sex" and "WHY can't I love more than one person at a time?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> I got that one, too. It went like this: "I didn't cheat on you for 24 years, even when everybody else was doing it" - implying that it was such a sacrifice to stay faithful to me - which he actually didn't - he also had two long-term EAs that I know about - and I drove him to finally break down and do it because I was such an awful wife. My response to that was, "Let me polish your medal." But, yes, "Here's your cookie, b!tch" would have been better.
> 
> I also love "ego kibble." That's exactly what the OW and OM give WSs. They haven't had to put up with all their crap for years and years and been beaten down by their constant criticism, so they're there to tell them how amazing they are and give them that constant validation - ego kibble - the narcissists that they are crave.


Wow didn't sleep with another woman besides his wife for 24 years..what a saint..he deserves a b!tch cookie and a nobel prize, don't you think? 

Ego kibble is a great term also - ego kibbles are like crack to cheaters - lets be honest shall we - cheating is fun and enjoyable until they get caught - I have heard cheaters describe it as a drug - yeah a recreational drug you choose to take - they are having a good time shagging someone else - what I love is when they have a LTA and tell us the sex wasn't all that or some such nonsense - you went back time and again in some cases for YEARS - please don't insult my intelligence by telling me you were not having a good time - it the consequences you don't want no ththe extramarital sex.. @chumplady exposes them for what they truly are...


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> The problem is they have another channel. It is called Cheatervision and it broadcasts a limited range of programmes such as "My spouse doesn’t understand me" "This is only sex" and "WHY can't I love more than one person at a time?"
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Cheaters have another pastime besides shagging someone who is not their spouse - rationalization - they are good at that..they will rewrite history, embellish the problems in the marriage etc just to rationalize engaging in vile, vile behavior...many still cling to their rationalization even in "R" or whatever you would call reconciling with a remorseless cheater...the more I read the more I think true "R" is nearly impossible even if the couple stays together...how can you ever forget or look at your spouse in the same way after they betray you on such a deep level - you can never really trust them to have your back ever again - not really - you can hope, but deep down you know that is not the case anymore if it ever was...


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

_"Ooh, he went in for How Can You Do This To Me — you’re a terrible mother/father/Christian/Catholic/Methodist/employee/lay/Rotarian/baker of cupcakes. (FLIP!) AND HE’S NOT GOING TO STAND FOR IT! Be afraid! Be very afraid! He’s going to get a lawyer and take you for EVERYTHING! The children! Your pension! Your collection of Franklin Mint Norman Rockwell plates! Yes, even the CHRISTMAS ornaments! (FLIP!) He doesn’t understand your hostility. Can’t we be friends? Remember when I gave you that christmas ornament with the kids? Ah, good times. This bitter, money-obsessed punishing person you are now, gosh, it’s not your best self. Give him a hug. Just for old times sake. Friends, right? (FLIP!) No? You won’t hug him? Don’t you know how VERY DIFFICULT this is for him right now? (FLIP!) You are going to REGRET THIS."_


I'm pretty sure I had this exact conversation with my ex-husband on numerous occasions. He still sometimes tries it. But after several years of practice, I just ignore it utterly and continue on as if the tirade never even happened. It's actually rather amusing to see the levels he will escalate this to if all he gets in return is apathetic silence. I've often wondered if maybe he continues with it because he can't actually hear the idiocy that is coming out of his mouth - like maybe it's a processing disorder or something.....:scratchhead:


----------



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Rowan said:


> _"Ooh, he went in for How Can You Do This To Me — you’re a terrible mother/father/Christian/Catholic/Methodist/employee/lay/Rotarian/baker of cupcakes. (FLIP!) AND HE’S NOT GOING TO STAND FOR IT! Be afraid! Be very afraid! He’s going to get a lawyer and take you for EVERYTHING! The children! Your pension! Your collection of Franklin Mint Norman Rockwell plates! Yes, even the CHRISTMAS ornaments! (FLIP!) He doesn’t understand your hostility. Can’t we be friends? Remember when I gave you that christmas ornament with the kids? Ah, good times. This bitter, money-obsessed punishing person you are now, gosh, it’s not your best self. Give him a hug. Just for old times sake. Friends, right? (FLIP!) No? You won’t hug him? Don’t you know how VERY DIFFICULT this is for him right now? (FLIP!) You are going to REGRET THIS."_
> 
> 
> I'm pretty sure I had this exact conversation with my ex-husband on numerous occasions. He still sometimes tries it. But after several years of practice, I just ignore it utterly and continue on as if the tirade never even happened. It's actually rather amusing to see the levels he will escalate this to if all he gets in return is apathetic silence. I've often wondered if maybe he continues with it because he can't actually hear the idiocy that is coming out of his mouth - like maybe it's a processing disorder or something.....:scratchhead:



Cheaters are an entitled bunch - and will do what they have to in order to get what they want when they want it....the trick for the BS is to get educated and realize their cheating spouse is not special and is no snowflake they all read from the same script... @chumplady gives the Bs that knowledge - lets be honest WSs at the end of the day want to get away with it - they either want to leave or R but not pay the price for their transgression whether that price be a D, exposure or an RA - it is comical to read WSs who become madhatters whine about how they got cheated on you get quotes like this: *"Like how could he do to me what devastated him so much? *" that is an actual quote....talk about tone deaf ...


----------

