# Advice on how to break the news?



## MommyofKandA (8 mo ago)

So married for 20 years with two kids. Husband has been struggling with depression and alcohol dependency. We have tried separating, individual and couples counseling. He makes me think that things are better - but they never stay that way. He tends to threaten to hurt himself every time we argue or I tell him I want out. I am meeting with a divorce attorney next week but any advice on how to break the news to him? I want to be as drama free as possible for me and the kids. He’s a good person. I just want to be happy. 🙏🏻


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

tell him in a neutral place, or where a trusted person might be within reach. You cannot let him to emotionally blackmail you. You need to understand that if he were to eff himself, that's on him. YOU would have nothing to do with it, or regret about it. It would not be your fault at all. ALL ON HIM. If it's time for you to leave the relationship, then just leave. Tell him in any way or manner that you feel is most appropriate. It would be his problem to deal with it, not yours. It's never easy, but you need to understand that you just can't go beating around the bushes.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

If he has a sibling or parent he could have come over after, let them know ahead of time. But seriously, if he even mentions suicide, the ONLY right thing to do is call the police and tell them that. They can get him in a facility if needed temporarily. Also, if you call the police on him, he will know that that is what's going to happen if he ever uses it as a threat again, for whatever reason.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Yeah - don't worry about the "in sickness and in health" crap. You go ahead and do what is good for you. In fact why worry about what it would do to him. That is going to be someone else's problem soon. I hope there are no kids involved here.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

MommyofKandA said:


> So married for 20 years with two kids. Husband has been struggling with depression and alcohol dependency. We have tried separating, individual and couples counseling. He makes me think that things are better - but they never stay that way. He tends to threaten to hurt himself every time we argue or I tell him I want out. I am meeting with a divorce attorney next week but any advice on how to break the news to him? I want to be as drama free as possible for me and the kids. He’s a good person. I just want to be happy. 🙏🏻


Once you no longer want responsibility for somebody, they only thing you owe them is a call to the authorities if he starts acting in a harmful manner.


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