# Need some advice...



## Loveofmylife921 (Jun 28, 2015)

without saying it I think my ex wife and I are trying to work on our relationship. And try to reconcile. At least that's what I think is going on. I have asked but I think due to outside influences, she won't say for sure what she wants. But at times that's what it feels like. Then other times I feel like she might be biding her time til something else happens. I want more then anything to be with her. However, in the last few weeks I have been asked out on a few coffee dates. I have been saying no thank you, because I don't want to ruin any chances I have with my ex. I was asked out again last night through a friend of hers so I haven't answered yet. I'm torn as to what to do because I don't want to let a possible opportunity pass by if I am just my ex's stop gap so she isn't alone til someone else comes along. What do you think?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

well i would tell your ex what is happening here, is she interested in making it a good on the relationship or not, that you have been asked out and rather then say yes you wanted to ask her first....you'll get your answer one way or another....also consider this....that next one you meet maybe the woman you had always wanted to meet but haven't until now.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You think? Many times it's just your imagination and she could care less but just doesn't want to see you with anyone else. She may just be feeding you breadcrumbs.

If there is anything there once you start dating it'll come out quick.

Don't waste your life waiting. It's already failed once.

Go for it and stop being a beta doormat. Women hate that n a man.

You may find someone a lot better that will blow your mind!!!!


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Ultimately at some point you have to make a decision. You might just ask her, "Are we dating? Are we exclusive?" and then you'll have your answer. If she says yes, then that's great. If she says no, then that means she doesn't see you as a long term prospect and you should be free to see other people.

My guess is that, like you, she's just been going with the flow and avoiding making it something "serious" by saying you are officially dating/exclusive. Less pressure, more freedom, etc. That can certainly make sense, for a little while. Eventually you need to find someone to live your life with long term, so it's perfectly fair to ask her if this is serious, or just fun.

Plus, don't forget the fact that seeing someone else (even very casually), could wake her up to reality. That being, that she loves you, has always loved you, but because of her choices, she could soon lose you forever if she doesn't do something quickly. So honestly, even if you do go out with someone else (with or without your ex's permission), I certainly don't think that would mean you are walking away from an opportunity with your ex-wife.


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