# Credit card debt question



## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

Some of you may know my situation. I am separating from my wife of 10 years and we are going through mediation to draw up a separation agreement. Through the years I've gotten credit cards in my name and she has been added as an authorized user. Now the debt has been accrued and I have been paying the bulk of the credit cards and she took on one of the ones with the bigger balance and I have one with a bigger balance. She seems to believe that because she has taken on one of the big balance cards that it absolves her of all the other debt that was accrued and that i should continue to pay the cards that i have and she stay with only the one she has which is still my card under my name. She became angry and began saying that if this was the way I was going to be that her credit cards under her name which I am not listed as an authorized user will be my debt as well and that her lease on her vehicle should also be my responsibility. Does anyone know what the rules are in a situation like this? She believes that i should carry the debt of all the other cards and that she just take on the debt of the other big balance.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

cancel the cards, if you were in Oz the debt would be shared between you.


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## Oak (Mar 21, 2011)

Hey Rico, so sorry you are in this situation. Everyone here knows just how much it can hurt.

As far as finances go it depends on where you are located for one. Different states (if you are in the USA) handle this differently. In Georgia where I reside, all marital debt (which is any debt accrued during the marriage) is considered joint, no matter whose name is on the bill / account. I would advise you to seek legal help given this will be a delicate situation.

Good luck!


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## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

Here is the deal. I'm in New york. THere are approx. 5 major credit ccards that are all in my name as the primary cardholder and her as an authorized user on the accounts. I have all the cards in my possesion with the exception of one which she says she wants to be responsible for. The only other card I have is a home depot card which I am also paying. She believes that because she has taken ownership over this one card that it absolves her of all of the other cards and that she doesnt need to pay into those. She got angered by the fact that i told her that everything on all of the credit cards is a mutual debt and therfore she is 50% liable. I called a lawyer and asked him and he said unless i went out and spent money on a girlfriend or something to that effect that she would not be responsible for that, which i agree. Being spiteful she declared that if I am making her responsible for the credit card debt that I should therefore be liable for paying half of her vehicle lease which i do not ever drive. The lease is solely in her name and she went and got the vehicle herself. I dont believe I am responsible for her lease. She then also started throwing out that on her personal cards where I am not an authorized user nor have I ever charged anything on those cards ever and she says that I should be made to be responsible for those debts as well. Again, not my cards and I have never charged anything on them so why should I pay those? Please let me know about this situation as I think I have provided as much detail as possible. Thank you all for your knowledge in helping me here. I have tried to keep it amicable and remain friends with her but she doesn't seem to want to look at this objectively and she wants to burden me with all the debt that has mounted through 10 years of being married. All I want is to be fair and to be treated fairly. I have to start a new life as well and I dont see why this should only be on my shoulders.


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## Babyheart (Feb 9, 2011)

Sorry but no idea, you need to have a lawyer sort this out for you.


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## Oak (Mar 21, 2011)

Agreed, that sounds like lawyer territory. If there is no agreement between you two on how to split the debt you need representation. Like I said earlier, where we live any debt my W or I incur is considered joint, even while separated.


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## BrianE (Nov 22, 2010)

In most cases all debt, including the car lease, is martial debt and generally split 50/50.

If she is paying on 1 of your cards before a separation agreement is drawn up I would just ignore everything she says and let her pay it and believe what she wants. Technically for both of you, until a separation agreement is drawn up you don't have to pay anything to help the other with their debts.

This is something I'm doing, per my lawyers recommendation, to put pressure on my stbxw. We consolidated all debts onto a single card years ago that is solely in her name. Since separated I stopped paying it and all other debts in her name. At this point I'm just a deadbeat husband and not much she can do until a separation agreement stats that legally I have to pay something. It's bitter sweet for me b/c she's the one who cheated and left and is now royally screwed with the debts. She's dragging her feet on the separation agreement and causing more problems for herself, like bad credit report now. She hasn't been able to pay the card for the past 2 months and it's been her lifeline for her lawyer and food. I'm sure it'll be cut off soon.


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## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

yeah I have not fed into any of her rants. She gets very angry when I decide to stand up for myself. She believes she can dictate what is happening with every thing and that I dont have any say. I have already spoken to two lawyers and they both believe while mediation may be good to two parties that simply want to handle things amicably there are many things that the mediators do not cover and in turn some parties may be royally screwed. I'm going to consult with one tomorrow and although the expense of it will be back breaking, in the end I think I will be protected and get what I am entitled to fairly. I won't argue on this matter anymore with her and if she refuses to see it my way about handling everything 50/50 then I will retain a lawyer. I'll be forced to borrow from my retirement fund but I have to do what is necessary now in order to be able to provide for my children and to also build a life post marriage for myself. I also dont want anything from her other than to just handle the debt equally or fairly in this case. She has threatened with lawyers in the past and I was afraid because of the expense but i will be telling her soon that I believe that I think it best for us to go that route rrather than mediation for the protection of both of us. I dont want to drag her through the mud, I just want everything settled fairly so we both can move on and live new lives. I see myself being very reasonable and her being defiant at every turn.


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## BrianE (Nov 22, 2010)

Yea, mine kept threatening lawyers as well. I've spoken to 3 before I found 1 I liked. They've all told me the same thing so I just let her jabber on about whatever she thinks and what "her lawyer told her".

The tables have turned though for me. Now I'm threatening lawyers and not going to back down on what is fair and equal. That's all I want as well.


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## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

Hahaha Brian. Yeah the funny thing is she makes more than i do and she has no idea that I can go after her for maintenance and touch her pension. I dont want any of that I just want the debt to be equally distributed or at least adjusted so that we both are fairly dealing with the debt. One lawyer told me she has no basis for claiming my liability for her lease on her car. She is choosing to stay in the home that we bought and the lawyer I spoke to basically said, tough for her, her choice and I shouldnt be held on the stones or punished for the choice she is making. Like you said I am going to let her go into her angry diatribe and just make sure my rights are held up in court.


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