# help



## lonely_lola (Jul 2, 2009)

i'm starting to hate my husband and don't know what to do. i spend more and more time in lala land thinking about either leaving him or having an affair. we have been married for five years and have a wonderful three year old daugther. everytime i am in lala land and think of her i want to cry my eyes out. i am so trapped. he provides so well for us, i am able to stay at home with her, we travel, he supports my interests, he trusts me 100%. however, he is emotionally retarded, i guess that's the way to put it. he NEVER touches me, we have sex maybe five or six times a year, he kisses me like he would kiss his mother, he's paranoid about everyone which drives me crazy. he realizes all of this which i think is the reason why he is so supportive in other areas. he had an affair a couple of years ago and i'm pretty much past that. he's just weird, i don't really know how to put it. i feel so selfish for wanting to leave just because he shows me no affection, which is why i started thinking about just cheating on him. i am miserable and don't know what to do. am i a horrible person? we don't fight or argue hardly at all, i don't care enough to anymore. like i said, i just sit around and daydream about a better life.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Don’t have an affair. If you are that unhappy then end the marriage on those merits and move on. You are not being a horrible person for feeling unfulfilled in your marriage. Your husband is not meeting your needs emotionally or sexually. He is providing money and housing. There needs to be more to a marriage then that. Discuss your dissatisfactions with him and let him know how serious you are. Couples counseling would be a good idea. Try and improve the marriage before you end it.


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## D8zed (Mar 12, 2009)

If your husband was meeting your needs, would you still feel love for him? If yes, then pursue a frank discussion with him and let him know the consequences of not meeting your needs. If you don't feel any love for him no matter what, then it's time to move on.


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