# PI success stories?



## totalfive21 (Jun 25, 2014)

I was wondering if anyone who successfully confirmed their suspicions about a spouse's affair by using a PI could share their stories. 

My supposedly former WH is either amazingly good at covering his tracks or legitimately working every single night till after 9 pm. I tried a VAR and it produced no evidence. He has a track record of infidelity -- at least one time that I caught him, three years ago now. He is usually at his office number if I call him in the evenings -- but that does not mean he is not stepping out sometime during the work day.

I can afford to hire a PI and finally took the bold step of calling a local company to inquire about rates and procedures. This first step of even inquiring was the hardest for me. I was impressed at the level of professionalism and adherence to only legal methods. 

Even though the service is costly, I am almost willing to pay even if to invalidate my lingering concerns about my fWH. So far I have not formally contracted with the company. I should add that the state of our marriage is not good for reasons beyond my lingering resentment about the past affair. He also has major anger control issues.

Recommendations? Should I go ahead with this? If there is actual evidence I would proceed to divorce immediately.


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## lexis (Feb 11, 2016)

My recommendation is that unless finding evidence of infidelity will give you a better settlement, that you save your money and file for divorce now.


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## totalfive21 (Jun 25, 2014)

lexis said:


> My recommendation is that unless finding evidence of infidelity will give you a better settlement, that you save your money and file for divorce now.


In my state it definitely would give me a better settlement.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

So far it seems the posters that have used a PI have been successful. I remember on though that found the evidence after the PI said everything was ok. It doesn't usually take long either.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

By the way, could be be using call forwarding to answer the phone somewhere else?


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Last year on february I was suposted to get married. We even planned to have kids right away,hell we bought two paint colors for our house.

I was feeling in my guts that something is wrong. I could see she was always thinking about something and I literally had to rise my tone to wake her up from her "sleep".

There was no Red flags,no paswords on facebook,emails and stuff like,no changes in sex life but there was Something and I could feel it.

I used PI and that is well spend 4000 Euros. I know it was a lot of money,but I was thinking about my future and I didnt want to have this naging sounds in my head. 
I was also asking myself is it right to do this,am I insane after all I am really young guy ! Maybe I watch to much Cheater shows !

It took me a whole week to find the truth and she was doing nasty things with my own mother. Well I thought I was the only one with "story" like this one. I cant even put my words on "paper" how I felt about this.

It is almost one year since I join here on TAM and I can honestly say I read almost all of the threads about infidelity that are posted here. I even go so far to "follow" some of the members and read their posts on other threads.

I am healed now. It was a long proces. I had to give up on some people.
Dating now a slighty "older" Lady and I am the happiest man in world.



So you ask for "succes stories" I think this one is really the ONE 

Stay strong


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

how is your relationship with your Mom now?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Be smart said:


> Last year on february I was suposted to get married. We even planned to have kids right away,hell we bought two paint colors for our house.
> 
> I was feeling in my guts that something is wrong. I could see she was always thinking about something and I literally had to rise my tone to wake her up from her "sleep".
> 
> ...


With your own... _Mother?_  :wtf:

I am so sorry to hear about your double betrayal.

How did the situation resolve itself?


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

I hired a PI for two hours to follow my husband and he called me and said he was in the park with someone. I went there and caught him on top of another woman. I wouldn't say it was a "success" that way but it was in catching him.
So many things - if I had him followed 2 hours out of 25 years of marriage and caught him what does that say? That I have a really good gut? Or he is much more evil than I think? 
I had to steal money from our "kitty" drawer to give the PI $250 cash for this. Hubby is a banker and knows exactly what money is going where. I still can't believe this happened. And it was 4 years ago. He made sure I had no car so I couldn't follow him. I found one, missed my facial, and caught him.
Then, he had the audacity to say I caused my own trauma by spying on him and finding out for myself. I should have just had the PI tell me.. Ok... just so hard to recover from.
But, I found my proof. And 95% of the time, this is the case, so I've read...


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Be smart said:


> she was doing nasty things with my own mother.


My gosh. That has to be one for the record books on TAM. At least in my two years here.

Glad you have healed from that, Bs. I am not sure everyone could.


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## totalfive21 (Jun 25, 2014)

Thanks, everyone. Stephscarlett, I hesitated to use the word "success" but you know what I mean. The truth will set one free. I think I'm going to go ahead and do it. The contract is for buying 25 hours of time. 

Be Smart, that's an awful story. Like Matt, I'm wondering about how you get along with your mother, if at all.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

jld said:


> My gosh. That has to be one for the record books on TAM. At least in my two years here.
> 
> Glad you have healed from that, Bs. I am not sure everyone could.


We have one with daughter in law and father as well.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> With your own... _Mother?_  :wtf:
> 
> I am so sorry to hear about your double betrayal.
> 
> How did the situation resolve itself?


Sorry I could not answer earlier my friend. Was busy with my work and changing shifts once again.

I wrote about this in one of the posts but I cant remember which one so forgive me.

I am doing fine now,but this february was hard for me,because it was one year of that shi77. 

I told my father about things I saw and found and he divorced my mother and moved back to Heimatland country,which is great for him. 

I get rid of my ex-fiance,but she was sorry she said. Well good for her and I hope she learned her lesson and become better person after this.

For myself - I learned lesson to - NEVER pick girls from the bar. 

I am dating now really nice woman,she is hairdresser and it is funny how we met. I had long hair and decided to cut it short so she did a great job,but I decided to come back tomorrow and ask her to do my hair the way she like it,because I was taking her to a nice play that night. She agreed and we are happy 

About my mother - I dont speak with her,she moved back to Austria and I think I will never change my mind. I am not a person who forgives and forgets.

My brother and two sisters are kinda good with her,but my youngest sister still have some problems.

Well this is ny "short" story. You see every story have happy ending 

Take care and thanks for asking my friend.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

totalfive21 said:


> He has a track record of infidelity -- at least one time that I caught him, three years ago now.





totalfive21 said:


> Recommendations? Should I go ahead with this? If there is actual evidence I would proceed to divorce immediately.


If he had no record of infidelity, I would say go hire the PI and give him the benefit of the doubt until you get the results.

However, the fact that you even CONSIDERING hiring a PI, with his history, is frankly enough reason to file for divorce. The burden is on him to make you feel secure in the relationship after his ultimate betrayal. Clearly, he has failed.

How long do you want to play Magnum PI for? If he's not giving you enough reason to trust him, and I don't mean blindly trust but enough trust as to not fear what he is up too a work, then this relationship is already doomed. Do you want to be a warden or a wife? 

File for divorce and stop living in this self imposed hell. Sometimes relationships CAN'T recover from infidelity EVEN when the WS does EVERYTHING right.


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