# Mother In Laws



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

A few years ago, after a rugby match, one of the lads was talking about how much he liked his mother-in-law. Going around the room, it seemed most had a good relationship with their MiL. Furthermore, it seemed the MiL was often stepping in to pull their daughters neck in a bit. 

As a man in his forties, who grew up on MiL jokes, this seems a big shift. Is it typical?

(I wills state that my own Mum thinks, correctly, that her DiL is great).


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Neither my wife or I have spoken to her mother since thanksgiving 2016. She has never seen her granddaughter who’s four and a half and she refused to come to our wedding. 
And that suits me just fine.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I was fine with mine until she started making a lot of requests of my wife who had very limited time. I wasn’t much of a fan then.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

My first mil was ok. We didn't have much in common and we didnt see her that often but we got on well enough. .
Mil in this marriage was toxic. She tried to break up both of her son's marriages. Thankfully she lived the other side of the world.

I get on really well with my own children in law. No problems at all. My children also get on very well with their own in laws.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

EX and I stopped talking to her mother in 2016. Better to keep the kids away from her.


----------



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

I have a close relationship with my MIL, but that didn't occur until my H and I had kids. She is a godsend to us and I will forever sing her praises. 

My relationship with my own mom is complicated. 

Most wives I am friends with have a so-so relationship with their MIL. They are tolerated in small doses at holidays but to be kept at a distance otherwise. They think I am strange for being close to my MIL. 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


----------



## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I have an excellent relationship with my mothers in law. My husband's father has been married a few times. 

I'm close to my husband's mom. We clicked from the beginning. We travel together, we go to concerts together, she's like my stepmom. It's funny to see her taking my side when I'm arguing with my husband. 

She's closer to me than to her own daughter. 

I'm lucky to have her in my life.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Oh I can say my wife doesn’t like her MIL but then again I can’t really blame her, I know that lady quite well. I’d say my wife tanks the incoming damage from her, I ignore her completely unless she leaves several voice mails in the span of a few hours.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

My MIL was a huge pain in the ass for decades. She was so bad that Mrs. C even stopped bringing the children to visit her a while after I stopped going to her house. She eventually mellowed and became a little more than civil several years before she passed and I don't normally hold a grudge so we started getting along.

My mother is so loving we have to take insulin just to be around her! 😋


----------



## DLC (Sep 19, 2021)

No F-ing way. I HATE my MIL and the punishment is that now my wife is turning into her. That explain our “roommate” situation. LOL

actually, I have heard some pretty MIL situations. I guess I am one of those “unlucky” ones. At least that gives me the fuel to make jokes about how bad my MIL is, and now my wife. 🤣

btw, my own mother is pretty mean to my wife as well. Maybe she realizes what a *****y queen she has become. So there is no “nice MIL” in my universe. 😂


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

I think the plural is "Mothers-In-Law".


----------



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> My MIL was a huge pain in the ass for decades. She was so bad that Mrs. C even stopped bringing the children to visit her a while after I stopped going to her house. She eventually mellowed and became a little more than civil several years before she passed and I don't normally hold a grudge so we started getting along.
> 
> My mother is so loving we have to take insulin just to be around her!


Yes I think my MIL fits the same description of needing insulin to be around her! And that is a good thing! My house was much more cold and aloof growing up so it took me some getting used to, actually quite a few years, to let her love me. I feel bad about that now. I pushed her away for a long time because I found her to be intrusive. When she immediately started showering my kids with that love when they were born that is when I really fell in love with her. You can't have too many people in your life love your babies, and in a lot of ways she showed me how to be a mom in those early days. 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Mr The Other said:


> As a man in his forties, who grew up on MiL jokes, this seems a big shift. Is it typical?


Overall I think the shift has more to do with mutual respect. There is (or should be) talk of leaving the family of origin upon marriage & putting the emphasis on the marriage. ILs understand this to some extent & don't usually assume deference by the new spouse solely because of their age. So all in all the relationships are less of a power struggle with creates more harmony.


----------



## Cici1990 (Feb 22, 2021)

My husband thinks my mom is attractive and jokes about sleeping with her. She has never been the warmest to him and he knows she sort of doesn’t like him but it just seems to be part of their dynamic. They do actually interact and my mom sends him birthday cards, buys him thoughtful Christmas gifts, and my husband has taken her to doctor’s appointments when she had to have somebody with her and for some reason he was the only person who could easily do it at the time.

I barely know my MIL because we live across the country from her. She’s always been nice to me and I think she wishes we were closer and had more of a relationship. I think there’s a chance that she could be the over involved sort of MIL if we lived near her, but I can’t say for sure. She may come stay with us over the holidays and I’m not sure how I feel about it but I would like my husband to be able to see his mom for the first time in a few years so I’m just going to suck it up and be nice about it.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

My MIL was great... I say "was" because she passed away many years ago, unfortunately. When I arrived from a different country, I stayed at her house and she became a second mother to me. I remeber her fondly.


----------

