# Facebook Rants



## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

My husband and I both have very public jobs and I know that we have both been told that our Facebook pages are reflections of us and our employers. 

Well last year I found my husband complaining on Facebook ... About his boss. I immediately told him to take it down! He did, reluctantly. 
I rarely get on there and post but last night I noticed that he was in a verbal spat with someone. The back and forth led to names being called, the President being called a "di&k" and my husband going off about how the state we live in is a "joke" and "full of lunatics". 

I immediately asked him to take it down. I was nice but I told him I thought it was a very poor reflection on both of us. He was very angry at me and said that he deserves a voice and he is "sorry if he embarrasses me". 

I told him this is job preservation above everything else! He is friends with former bosses, colleagues... You name it! 

He did take it down but the problem is he won't LISTEN! He is listed as married to me... And I an worried about what he's done. Especially since he has done this repeatedly ...even after promising he wouldn't. 

Am I too tough?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

The problem is not that he doesn't listen. It's that you're constantly trying to control his relationships with others. 

Let him learn the hard way. He's a big boy. He can handle it.


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## justanaveragejoe (Sep 21, 2012)

ive said it once and i will say it again,

nothing good ever comes from using facebook, it does more harm than good, it is a cancer to society, you are better off without it, the entire world would be better off without facebook,

i would not touch it with a 100 foot pole, no thanks

its a shame most people can not realize that,


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

justanaveragejoe said:


> ive said it once and i will say it again,
> 
> nothing good ever comes from using facebook, it is a cancer to society, you are better off without it, the entire world would be better off without facebook,
> 
> ...


I agree, but it's a new world these days. I've been curious about how things will play out with all this new technology that keeps EVERYONE involved in others' lives at such intimate yet impersonal levels. So far I've seen a big jump in privacy controls, fewer people valuing their own privacy and security, and an overall drop in performance. The news yesterday had a story here about how text messaging is starting to trend downward for the first time in years, though. I'm interested to see if that continues.


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

People at my workplace have gotten fired for their Facebook rants and comments! 

At the very least, I think he should avoid listing me as his wife. That way he can take himself down... Without me!







questionme2 said:


> My husband and I both have very public jobs and I know that we have both been told that our Facebook pages are reflections of us and our employers.
> 
> Well last year I found my husband complaining on Facebook ... About his boss. I immediately told him to take it down! He did, reluctantly.
> I rarely get on there and post but last night I noticed that he was in a verbal spat with someone. The back and forth led to names being called, the President being called a "di&k" and my husband going off about how the state we live in is a "joke" and "full of lunatics".
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

^ Now that would be a reasonable request. "I don't want to be associated with FB rants, so please remove me." You're acting on your own behalf then, not trying to control his behaviors.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You cannot control your husband or what he chooses to post. You can only control what you post. 

Maybe you can tell him how you feel, but ultimately it's his online page so he can do what he wants.

I do think that what people post on social media forums does say a lot about them.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

It might be the way you handled the situation. Maybe not telling him to take it down in that way but explaining why you disagree with certain posts.

I understand where you are coming from though, there is a way to present yourself online especially when you have bosses and colleagues as friends. I would've approached my husband as well if he said inappropriate things on Facebook, but I wouldn't demand he take it down. He mostly networks and promotes his businesses plus he has minor relatives on there. I'm not saying to pretend to be someone else, but present your best self, as it is a reflection of you. I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about some people on FB.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Ridiculous. Facebook, to me, is a bit of fun, it's not a reflection of my husband, my family, or my employers, it's a reflection of me. It's being taken way too seriously, IMO. That being said, though, people should not rant about their employers on there, as it seems to be the equivalent CLM as running naked through the board room while the president is having his quarterly meeting.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

questionme2 said:


> People at my workplace have gotten fired for their Facebook rants and comments!


I know enough about this subject (from my work) to know that anything you put on something like FB can possibly be seen by ANYONE until the end of time.

No, you can't control what your H writes on FB, but I sure as hell would sit him down and tell him that you are concerned about what he's doing, and how it could cause harm to your family...after he gets canned at work.


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

WE don't do 'Facebook' and have no desire to. Reading posts from this site and another I'm a member of where FB has brought nothing but disaster to relationships reinforces for me I want nothing to do with it. 

It isolates people from relationships, it does not build them. We see it all the time. For ex: a restaurant where people USED to go and have dinner with family/friends to interact, talk, laugh, etc. Now, they still go to the restaurants but they're silent - all have an iphone in their faces.... I ask: Why bother going out when you can do that at home? Sad really!!! 

One of our sons got a job working at a well know corporation with a boss who used to work for somewhere else. The first thing He was told when hired by his old boss: SHUT DOWN YOUR FACEBOOK!!!! Companies do use this to verify the character of the person they're considering to hire/promote. 

My advice to you: close your FB account down; stop using it. Then you have nothing to worry about.


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## justanaveragejoe (Sep 21, 2012)

thunderstruck said:


> I know enough about this subject (from my work) to know that anything you put on something like FB can possibly be seen by ANYONE until the end of time.


very true,

and dont be fooled by the facebook "privacy controls" thinking you can hide things, YOU CAN NOT!....an experienced tech savy person can easily get a hold of ALL YOUR PICTURES AND EVERYTHING YOU WRITE!

i am in the IT field


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

I actually HAVE to use Facebook for work. It's part of my job. And my boss has rights to my page, as well. 

I have NO choice. My husband does. 





heavensangel said:


> WE don't do 'Facebook' and have no desire to. Reading posts from this site and another I'm a member of where FB has brought nothing but disaster to relationships reinforces for me I want nothing to do with it.
> 
> It isolates people from relationships, it does not build them. We see it all the time. For ex: a restaurant where people USED to go and have dinner with family/friends to interact, talk, laugh, etc. Now, they still go to the restaurants but they're silent - all have an iphone in their faces.... I ask: Why bother going out when you can do that at home? Sad really!!!
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## justanaveragejoe (Sep 21, 2012)

questionme2 said:


> I actually HAVE to use Facebook for work. It's part of my job. And my boss has rights to my page, as well.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


now that is what i call scary....and dangerous

that is basically giving your boss an open window into your personal life....i would be looking for a new job....no way i would put up with that, i dont care how well it payed


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

It's just my line of work/business. But it's the same thing for my husband.... His bosses have told him to be careful too. 

I just feel like he's a loose cannon!




justanaveragejoe said:


> now that is what i call scary....and dangerous
> 
> that is basically giving your boss an open window into your personal life....i would be looking for a new job....no way i would put up with that, i dont care how well it payed


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Can't you just have a 'work' FB and one for personal? Honestly, my employers have no business dictating what I put on my personal page.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

At my company, Our new employee handbook (that everyone had to sign a confirmation page)..

Has a new section on social media. It does state that the company has a right to fire us based on our posts on any social media site. (dOES NOT MATTER if we have a "personal" page and a "work" page. They can fire based off of either page.)

If we mention the company, we have to put a disclaimer that these are the views of "myself only" and does not reflect the views of the company.

LOL... I so wanted to post to facebook the next day... that 
"I love my job. I love the company I work for... Oh, by the way, these are the views of myself only and these opinions do not accurately reflect the views of the company."


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

If you have to use FB for your job then you should delete your husband as a friend. That way your employer will not see his rants.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Can't you just have a 'work' FB and one for personal? Honestly, my employers have no business dictating what I put on my personal page.


I feel the same. I'm getting my masters degree and one of the things that the professors and other students keep talking about is how employers are asking for FB access. I've also heard from my husbands business colleagues that they will look at your page before interviewing or hiring you.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Pfff...let them look, I say. They can look through all my 1000's of pics of my friends, family, kids...they can try to decipher my crazy cryptic GD related posts...and if they want to fire me for it, go for it, but expect to be taking to the highest courts in the land over it.

Once I posted, "Dear Bosses...do not wait until 5pm on a Friday to ask me to review something with you. Thank you.". I imagine the company could come back and fire me for daring to say something like that, but really...it's not quite the same thing as "I'm going to come in here on Monday with a rifle and shoot my manager because he made me stay late.".

Maybe a little common sense would go a long way on BOTH sides of the FB debate, with regards to employers and the FB pages of their employees.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

TrustInUs said:


> I feel the same. I'm getting my masters degree and one of the things that the professors and other students keep talking about is how employers are asking for FB access. I've also heard from my husbands business colleagues that they will look at your page before interviewing or hiring you.


Personally, if I was job searching, I'd probably disable my page.


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## justanaveragejoe (Sep 21, 2012)

the other thing i have never understood is....

why do people feel the need to post EVERYTHING they do in their life on facebook?

my siblings and cousins and inlaws use facebook, and some of them make about 10 status changes in a day, telling people EVERYTHING they do that day, from showering to eating a sandwich.....

why?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Because they have no life.


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## lilith23 (Sep 6, 2012)

Facebook can only destroy your life if you allow it to. No one told anyone to post their intimate stuffs or spend most of their time there anyways.
Also, if a relationship is affected by it then it's coz it had issues anyways.

I don't spend all my time on FB, just occasionally passing by there when I'm bored and rarely post updates. But I find it a nice tool to find and reconnect old friends as well as relatives, we don't live in the same country and it's nice to see how they are going and see their photos.
It's up to us what we share there, what is too intimate is only shared in the real life anyways.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I like FB - it depends on how you use it. I like reconnecting with old classmates and distant family. I don't use it to find dates/men and I wouldn't if I were married.

It DOES exacerbate underlying issues IMO. Just like a recovering alcoholic can't work as a bartender, a cheater who needs constant outside affirmation they are desirable can get out of hand with FB. Just as someone who is highly opinionated would be seen as a blowhard around the 'water cooler' can now spew to an even larger group. Some people like an audience.

I do see it as a reflection of my good judgement. I don't have a single photo, private or not, that I would be ashamed for my employer or daughter (or general public) to see. I chose my words carefully. I post often, check in to locations, etc. FB actually lets me into what's going on in my daughter's life, too - see what her friends are like, who I need to keep an eye on, etc.

And manners should be taught about electronic devices - no texting while at the table. I focus on the person I'm with. I don't accept a call while I'm talking to the cashier at the grocery store, etc. One person at a time. I provide personal service!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Now, now, if you're sitting on TAM all day posting, you can't say that Facebookers have no life...

I like it too. I was able to reconnect with some long lost cousins and my beloved 'Auntie' that I'd lost track of for years...The positive far outweigh the negative experiences I've had. Troublesome people have been blocked. The rest is just for fun! And none of my pics are embarassing (er, well, not that I remember!)...


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Hmm... I no longer post on my FB thanks to the rifts it caused with my in-laws. (Thanks for helping me see that, Kathy). I still feel it's an individual's business what they post. I side with Candie on this, even though I've "conformed" for "peace".

With the FB being related to work, I can see your concerns and unfortunately the best thing to do may be to "unfriend" him. :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I would remove him and all reference to him from my FB page and ask him to do likewise with you on his. If he wants to jeopardize his job etc, that's up to him.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

KathyBatesel said:


> The news yesterday had a story here about how text messaging is starting to trend downward for the first time in years, though. I'm interested to see if that continues.


Text messaging is trending downward only because sending private text messages via Google Talk and Facebook are on the increase. On a cell phone with a decent data plan, it can be cheaper to send text messages via the internet than to send a text message via the phone company. With Google Talk and Facebook chat, there are no per message charges.

I think, over time, that more and more voice calls will be placed via Skype over the internet/mobile data plans using voice and video chat to avoid phone company per minute charges. 

Bandwidth fees are dropping steadily. As it is, I rarely use my mobile phone via voice to communicate with friends and family, mostly text messages. My younger family members are starting the move to google talk rather than text messaging to save the monthly messaging cost. 

I don't like Facebook and I don't like google+, but economics is what is driving the reduction in text message traffic.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

TrustInUs said:


> I feel the same. I'm getting my masters degree and one of the things that the professors and other students keep talking about is how employers are asking for FB access.* I've also heard from my husbands business colleagues that they will look at your page before interviewing or hiring you.*


Oh, I see, so when "Bidness" looks at FB accounts it's ok. when mere mortals like myself look at an FB account, it's considered snooping and creepy.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

To all who consider it snooping and creepy, by all means...delete your FB pages.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> Oh, I see, so when "Bidness" looks at FB accounts it's ok. when mere mortals like myself look at an FB account, it's considered snooping and creepy.


I *never* understood this myself! People are always posting about people stalking them and trying to find out who's looking at their page. But if you are on a public forum, add me as your friend, then am i supossed to ask you first its okay to look at at your page/pics? It's a public site, don't put up stuff you don't want others to see.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

:iagree:

In the end, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn....anything like that should be treated as any other venue where you know others can see you. Just because you've "friended" everyone doesn't mean that what you post won't come up in a pretty simple web search. And even better--it lasts forever! Yay.

I generally think that if it's something you wouldn't say or show in a crowded room where you could be overheard or have someone look over your shoulder, it's best left out of even semi-private venues.

To the OP though, if your husband's posts can be linked to you--and if you're linked together by that "married to" link, they can--then you're probably better off de-friending him. At the very least, removing your relationship status. Then avoid "like"ing or sharing any of his posts. If it's bad enough and you don't want to defriend him, then just block him on your privacy settings so that he can't post on your timeline, don't post on his and set any pictures to request your approval if you're tagged in them.

The good news though is that I think Facebook is generally like anything else when it comes to other people. Unless it's BIG news or really horrible/offensive, no one really thinks about what someone else posted for more than 30 seconds....or about two screens worth of updates


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

LinkedIn

Is this a new one? Never heard of it?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

heavensangel said:


> LinkedIn
> 
> Is this a new one? Never heard of it?


It's a site that's more serious. People effectively upload the contents of their resume/ cv and many people say that it is effective in getting business or a job offer.

My fiance's (former) EA sent him an invite to connect (as per Linkedin's lingo) and he ignored it. 

One thing to remember about LinkedIn is that when you are logged in, people can see that you looked at their profile.


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## lilith23 (Sep 6, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> It's a site that's more serious. People effectively upload the contents of their resume/ cv and many people say that it is effective in getting business or a job offer.
> 
> My fiance's (former) EA sent him an invite to connect (as per Linkedin's lingo) and he ignored it.
> 
> One thing to remember about LinkedIn is that when you are logged in, people can see that you looked at their profile.


I think that it's possible to deactivate this, so that no one knows if you have checked their accounts or not. But in return, you won't be able to know who checked your account too.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

OhhShiney said:


> Text messaging is trending downward only because sending private text messages via Google Talk and Facebook are on the increase. On a cell phone with a decent data plan, it can be cheaper to send text messages via the internet than to send a text message via the phone company. With Google Talk and Facebook chat, there are no per message charges.


Ah... that makes perfect sense.

I think of the social networks as newspapers. Remember the old-time newspapers that announced who visited aunt Mary last week? UGH... boring, non-newsy stories, but they filled the pages. Social networks are modern micro-newspapers of that same ilk. They're ideal for businesses, keeping informed a little, and entertainment, but they are and always will be public sources of info.


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

questionme2, very similar to me

my wife went on way to much and was writing like 4 posts a day..or more.

started bagging the little country town we live in and hepas more. got to the point that people in the town were talking to me about it

i told her to stop, and like ur husband said, she said "if it emabrrases you bad luck, i have a voice"

actually facebook was a facotr that contributed to seperation


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

Once again people are ranting about some thing not about the person who can not control themselves which is a huge problem now days,because people don't want to take ownership.
Facebook is forcing your husband to do nothing and if it was not facebook it would be something else,just like people go nuts on here about porn when they should focus their attention on the person not the thing.

In the old days your husband would also rant but it would be around the water cooler or at the lunch table,but you just would not hear about it.


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

I like Facebook overall, it helped my reconnect with my big brother (big brothers/big sister) after we lost track of each other for about 5 years.

That said, I purged my friends list, deleted everything and closed my account. Its just not safe to post anything on there as far as work goes and such.

Being a manager at my job, I can tell you that social media is how we weed out about 95% of the people after we pick the resumes that look good.

Its better to not have anything, then to have even one post or picture that could look bad.

I also know a friend who was fired because of Facebook. Nothing really major either. At the time he was employed by Ford and was fired after he posted pictures of his family vacation. 

The reason being, that the picture showed his rental car, and it wasn't a Ford. That's against company policy. You can't park a non Ford automotive on their lot, and if you drive anything that isn't a Ford you can't publicise it in any fashion.

This was on his own personal account that had nothing to do with his job. This kind of this thing is getting more and more common these days. Some states have laws against it, but most don't.


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