# WTH



## Darksoul (Mar 31, 2011)

What just happened? everything is going towards seperation and all of a sudden yesterday she starts saying the word WE more, starts giving me little touches like sitting next to me and against me, putting her foot over mine etc. These haven't happened and she asked me not to do these things awhile ago. Then she was talking about all our troubles are due to finances. What happened to she hasnt been in love with me for 11 years, cheating on me, she is confused and doesnt want to be with me, etc.

Also she wants me to build a computer for her "freind" she cheated on me with whom she is going to go visit in another state in roughly a month. I will build it to show her i'm past her (he is paying for it) but i'm still moving out.

Where did all this come from and why, I have gotten much better with myself but have seen little change in her actions until last night. Maybe it was the half bottle of patron she drank but I don't know. I don't understand where this is leading, does she want back together? That wont happen right now especially when she is going to see the guy she cheated on me with, I know they would never work out long term and I have forgiven her for it, but i'm not going to sit back and be a doormat.

Anyone have any insight as to what might be going on, I really don't need this as I have found my path and part of myself and I am going on with my life "alone" for now. I do want to work things out but now is definetly not the time as i have seen little to no change in her and I am working on myself now?


----------



## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

Oh dear Darksoul, that is the last thing you needed at the moment. I think that even if she is the one wanting to make a change or a move, there are not many people who will go with no regrets. I am sure despite what has happened between you, she is going to miss aspects of you and your life together. Also if you are being very ammicable she will be feeling a bit warmer towards you perhaps.

Stick with what you are doing for yourself. As you say she has done very little until now. She had a drink and she prob got a bit sentimental, or trying to keep you as a fallback. Whatever don't become involved in her confusion if you can possible help it. I bet your mind is on overdrive thinking, but remember it is only YOUR thoughts. She has not explained to you what this meant. Look after yourself.


----------



## Wrench (Mar 21, 2011)

Make sure you charge him lots

I'd blame the booze and maybe her guilt, but pretend it never happened. She's obviously used to you being a certain way and you aren't that guy anymore. 

Maybe that's why you noticed what she was doing, good job!


----------



## lostdad (Apr 2, 2011)

Sounds like the same thing my wife is doing minus the physical stuff. I've decided just to continue 180'ing her and ignore all her new friendliness until she actually comes out and says something. 

I put up with too much for too long to start playing games now when i'm finally starting to feel detached/happy/free.

Especially since she's still seeing the OM. She will get absolutely nothing from me while he's in the picture.


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Darksoul said:


> What just happened? everything is going towards seperation and all of a sudden yesterday she starts saying the word WE more, starts giving me little touches like sitting next to me and against me, putting her foot over mine etc. These haven't happened and she asked me not to do these things awhile ago. Then she was talking about all our troubles are due to finances. What happened to she hasnt been in love with me for 11 years, cheating on me, she is confused and doesnt want to be with me, etc.
> 
> Also she wants me to build a computer for her "freind" she cheated on me with whom she is going to go visit in another state in roughly a month. I will build it to show her i'm past her (he is paying for it) but i'm still moving out.
> 
> ...


I think she's trying to manipulate you. She wants more cash to finance her getaway. If you buy things she wants and needs now she won't have to worry about that when she's gone. She's still convinced that you'll work to get her back. I think your willingness to build her affair partner a computer probably gave her that idea.


----------



## lostdad (Apr 2, 2011)

Install a key logger on the affair partners computer.....tada! 

I'm only half joking.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Darksoul said:


> What just happened?


What just happened is she drank a half a bottle of tequila and started flirting with you.

That's all. Nohting more, nothing less.

Don't feed into it. Words are just that--WORDS. Action is how people back things up.

You have got to be out of your GOT damn mind if you are even entertaining the thought of building a computer or doing aNY sort of favor for the man she has betrayed you with.

Are you ok? Seriously. No. No favors. No help. No assistance.

She can go. She wants to end your marraige for some worm, then let her but she can be the one to move out. It is crazy that you even have considered doing the man who is partly to blame for the state your marriage is in... a favor.

Please find your self-respect and FAST.


----------



## Darksoul (Mar 31, 2011)

Shes not really after money, i have none and she has 1/4 mil inheritance I don't want. As for building the comp it is to show her i'm moving on. When she cheated he didnt know we were married, thats why they originally broke up, but I think they are still technically freinds but don't expect it to stay that way. If there wasn't more she wouldn't be going there. I have my self respect and am doing what i need for me. Comp is just to help prove i'm moving on with myself. I didn't say or do anything last night, it probably was the liquor, don't plan on saying or doing anything about it either.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So why are you building a compute rfor the man who is involved in an affair with your wife?

Moving on with yourself is one thing. Helping the OM is quite another.


----------



## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I'm thinking it was the booze combined with feeling sentimental. I've seen my sister do this with her now ex. Hell she's even used him for a booty call a few times post divorce.


----------



## Darksoul (Mar 31, 2011)

TY all, I'm thinking it was the booze also. Nothing was different then before the booze the next day. Can't wait to move out, it will make all this so much easier. It is definetly time to move on. I love her and hope she finds herself but it's time to move on with my life and continue finding and working on me. I might have enough money to move out in 2 weeks maybe, but i'll probably have to wait another 2 so i have money for food also. She will have her inheritance by then so she will be good. Take care all and ty, i'm off to work, have a good day.


----------



## girltrax101 (May 6, 2011)

"I really don't need this as I have found my path and part of myself and I am going on with my life "alone" for now"
....these are the only words you should focus on darksoul and be proud of yourself that you can say them.


----------

