# Unedited honesty . . . .



## lookinforhelpandhope

. . . .what really turns guys on ?


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## Disenchanted

sandwiches


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## lookinforhelpandhope

Disenchanted said:


> sandwiches


Lol, any particular kind??


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## Disenchanted

It's a pretty wide open question. Different guys like all kinds of different sandwiches actually. As my mood changes even I like different kinds of sandwiches from one moment to the next.

The metaphor, however, is that what turns me on is when someone cares about me and shows it. When I feel special and unique to that person. Being treated like a king turns me on.

Good looks are just the icing on the cake.


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## lookinforhelpandhope

Disenchanted said:


> It's a pretty wide open question. Different guys like all kinds of different sandwiches actually. As my mood changes even I like different kinds of sandwiches from one moment to the next.
> 
> The metaphor, however, is that what turns me on is when someone cares about me and shows it. When I feel special and unique to that person. Being treated like a king turns me on.
> 
> Good looks are just the icing on the cake.


Thanks Disenchanted,

I guess I'm fishing for suggestions on how to spark up a situation that's been dead for a while.


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## xakulax

It depends on the individual guy for me I would have to say its intelligence, humor,confidence are a big turn-on for me.



PS: I should also mention boots something about a women in boots really gets me going.


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## Disenchanted

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Thanks Disenchanted,
> 
> I guess I'm fishing for suggestions on how to spark up a situation that's been dead for a while.


You're welcome!

I'd need a whole lot more background to offer better advice.

There was a time when "the girl next door" image got me going. A good girl, innocent and clean. As times change I now find that I prefer something a bit more wild, let's say. 

So making changes to approach would be a top recommendation if what has been working no longer is.

I would be particularly turned on these days by some dom/sub play, role playing, simulated rape, and things like that. Those things would horrify some guys though.

A pretty smile like this turns me on:


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## SpinDaddy

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Lol, any particular kind??


Muffaletta – of course!


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## SpinDaddy

Cubano, Club, Pulled Pork, BLT, PB&J, Reuben, Smoked Brisket, Lobster Roll, and a Po’ Boy are pretty hot too.


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## naiveonedave

An honest answer - someone who has self confidence and can give and take a joke. A sexy smile helps too.


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## Mmdog60

Wide open question ... So wide range of replies by me.

1) intelligence
2) a girl into sports
3) a girl in white jeans, oh my 
4) boots. Love a girl in hot boots
5) a girl will to do anything for me
6) a girl willing to do or try anything sexually that I desire. 

But most of all ..may sound corny but.....what turns me on is to see a girl be a great mom to kids...Love it.


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## xakulax

Mmdog60 said:


> Wide open question ... So wide range of replies by me.
> 
> 1) intelligence
> 2) a girl into sports
> 3) a girl in white jeans, oh my
> 4) *boots. Love a girl in hot boots*
> 5) a girl will to do anything for me
> 6) a girl willing to do or try anything sexually that I desire.
> 
> But most of all ..may sound corny but.....what turns me on is to see a girl be a great mom to kids...Love it.




:iagree::iagree:


So its not just me!


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## lookinforhelpandhope

xakulax said:


> :iagree::iagree:
> 
> 
> So its not just me!


Looks like it may be worth investing in a pair of boots!


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## Lordhavok

yeah disenchanted, I'm sure its that smile on her thats getting you going


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## Disenchanted

Lordhavok said:


> yeah disenchanted, I'm sure its that smile on her thats getting you going


True, she's got pretty eyes too. And nice teeth.


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## Sandfly

Naivety (long term). Followed closely by insanity (short term).

Fortunately there is no shortage!


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## lookinforhelpandhope

Disenchanted said:


> True, she's got pretty eyes too. And nice teeth.


LMAO!!!!! It ain't just her lips that are smiling at ya!


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## Racer

Unedited? What turns me on? Easier to say what doesn't considering any action greater than a gentle breeze probably does it. 

Think of me like your friendly neighborhood dog; What makes him happy? Everything (except yelling, beatings, and scolding...) Some of us are naturally happy and always 'on' until you flip that switch to change how we feel to something negative.


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## Dredd

You could ask him to take this:

Language Profile | The 5 Love Languages®

Its different for everyone


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## papa5280

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Thanks Disenchanted,
> 
> I guess I'm fishing for suggestions on how to spark up a situation that's been dead for a while.


In that case, the answer is "something different". Is he usually/always the initiator? If so, maybe a text or call saying, "I'm h0rny and can't wait for you to get home", or something to that effect might be well received. Depending on how adventurous you two are, new rooms of the house, new toy, wig with a different hair color, buy the Kama Sutra and look up new positions together, suggest a joint shower (if that's outside your norm), lights on, lights off....really just something new that he wouldn't find threatening, and that's within your comfort zone.


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## Thor

The book "5 Love Languages" is one very good resource for you.

What turns me on? Genuine fun. It could be going to dinner and a great movie. It could be camping in a new place. It could be laughing at something funny the dogs are doing.

Forcing things isn't fun and not a turn on.

You're not going to go from zero to wonderful in one simple step, either. I think you have to start building slowly. Turn off the tv and talk about something light. Go walk the dogs together. Initiate sex, but don't expect more than the basics. Ask him to help you plan and cook a family meal this weekend. You two need to spend some time together.

Look up "Love Busters" and "Love Bank". I forget which book/author it is, but there is some good info in there on getting things rekindled.

I think my basic needs in a relationship are to feel genuinely liked, desired, and respected. I don't want my wife to pretend to be having fun with me, or pretend to want sex with me. So look at yourself, too, to examine your motivations and attitudes.


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## oldgeezer

I can't speak for anyone but me. I, honestly, have struggled with this for quite some time. I tried to understand why sex works sometimes and not others. I tried to understand why what turned me on sexually yesterday I had no interest in today. 

I began to see something that hasn't clearly taken shape yet, but it looks something like this... There's a difference between "turned on" and "excited". Excited is physically aroused. You know, the bouncing boobs previously you might call 'exciting'. But it's not really a turn-on, in my book. After all, they've nothing to do with me, I have no relationship to the person, and nothing they're doing is "for me" or "with me". 

Over the years, the W and I have had serious droughts, and deluges in the sex department. Back when I was young, "exciting" was enough. Now, I need to be "turned on". I can't be "turned on" if I am resenting something, anxious about what she's going to do, or say, or how she's going to react. What turns me on? Wanting me. It took a long, long time for me to finally comprehend that. It fulfills a basic, never-ending and never-to-end need we all have, which is to be wanted by someone else. 

As much as I might enjoy this or that act or event, it is hollow and not even interesting, unless she actually wants to do it and finds some kind of enjoyment in it. "Duty sex" destroys that feeling of being wanted. It feels dishonest, in some say. It certainly breeds resentment on my part - as if I'm just being manipulated.


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## MSP

Positive attention. Boobs. Skin. Boobs. Sharing fun times. Boobs. Touch. Boobs. Flirtation. Boobs. 

I think I've found a new way to punctuate my sentences.


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## JCD

Stockholm Syndrome.


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## I Notice The Details

What turns me on...a woman with confidence who takes care of herself. An unselfish woman with lots of empathy and compassion for others. A woman who is comfortable in their own skin, and appreciates me for being the man in the relationship. A woman who's smile lights up the entire room, and has a sparkle in her eye when she looks at me. If she also happens to have beautiful legs, that is a bonus. 

Yes, I did marry the person I just described above. She is my wife. :smthumbup:


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## Want2babettrme

Disenchanted said:


> You're welcome!
> 
> I'd need a whole lot more background to offer better advice.
> 
> There was a time when "the girl next door" image got me going. A good girl, innocent and clean. As times change I now find that I prefer something a bit more wild, let's say.
> 
> So making changes to approach would be a top recommendation if what has been working no longer is.
> 
> I would be particularly turned on these days by some dom/sub play, role playing, simulated rape, and things like that. Those things would horrify some guys though.
> 
> A pretty smile like this turns me on:




Smile? What smile?


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## ConanHub

Tough women. I like ass kickers. Michelle Rodriguez usually plays women that really trip my trigger.

The UFC fighter, Rhonda Rousy, really turns me on as well.

Feminine, but bad ass!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub

Boots are hot as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD

MSP said:


> Positive attention ( . ) ( . ) Skin ( . ) ( . ) Sharing fun times ( . ) ( . )Touch ( . ) ( . ) Flirtation ( . ) ( . )
> 
> I think I've found a new way to punctuate my sentences.


Here, I edited that for you ( . ) ( . ) I will send your suggestion to the Chicago Manual of Style ( . ) ( . )


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## bABI

what turns me on is a combo of these...

-Genuine & enthusiastic love, care & empathy for me
-Respectfulness
-Habit of Cleanliness
-Patience & tolerance
-Homemaker
-Intelligent
-Playful & good sense of humor
-Touchy feely
-Good communicator
-Beautiful smile
-Confidence

To the above, add
-Good moderate sense of fashion
-Obviously pretty
-Nice curves & contours
-high heels
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## okeydokie

I'm a butt man or, I'm a butt, man


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## Disenchanted

Poor grammar makes me shrivel up like crazy. If there was one trait in a woman that is most important to me it's intelligence and proper language usage.


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## JCD

Disenchanted said:


> Poor grammar makes me shrivel up like crazy. If there was one trait in a woman that is most important to me it's intelligence and proper language usage.


One thing I find offputting is a voice. That whinny GF of Chandler's on 'Friends' would have been a no go, even though visually, she was very attractive.


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## youkiddingme

What turns a man on? Some of the answers given....I don't think are really addressing this question. I sense that many answers given here are to this question: What does your wife not do that ticks you off?


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## MSP

Oh, I just remembered my biggest physical turn-on! Not sure why I didn't put it down before. This is what gets me more than anything else in the physical realm (assuming everything else is at least mostly normal). It's this: a slim waist. Actually, it's an hourglass figure, but the waist is the key component.


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## Racer

The largest turn on for me: When a woman knows how to just project her sexuality in a way that just seems so in tune with who she is that it's natural. I've seen this in women of all shapes and sizes, and it's usually when they are unguarded and just letting themselves shine through.


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## Disenchanted

NotTooSure said:


> This is completely in left field based on your previous post. I would say that based on that post just put a gag in her mouth so you don't have to hear it.


Pretty eyes, good teeth and proper grammar are not mutually exclusive I don't think.

However a mute woman would no doubt turn me on more then anything else, never had one.


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## WhiteRaven

mangoes... la irresistible


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## WhiteRaven

Disenchanted said:


> However a mute woman would no doubt turn me on more then anything else, never had one.


Silence without a bj, eh?


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## Disenchanted

WhiteRaven said:


> Silence without a bj, eh?


phucking perfect


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## WhiteRaven

Disenchanted said:


> phucking perfect


:smthumbup:


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## Thor

Yeah I'm not really sure what the original question was. What is it that makes a woman sexually attractive before we get naked? What is it that makes a woman a big turn on once we do get into bed? What is it which makes a woman attractive over a long period of time? What is it about a long term partner that breaks the daily monotony and gets me looking forward to jumping in bed later on?


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## Disenchanted

Thor said:


> Yeah I'm not really sure what the original question was. What is it that makes a woman sexually attractive before we get naked?


Sandwiches



Thor said:


> What is it that makes a woman a big turn on once we do get into bed?


Sandwiches 



Thor said:


> What is it which makes a woman attractive over a long period of time?


Sandwiches



Thor said:


> What is it about a long term partner that breaks the daily monotony and gets me looking forward to jumping in bed later on?


Sandwiches


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## xakulax

Disenchanted said:


> Sandwiches
> 
> 
> 
> Sandwiches
> 
> 
> 
> Sandwiches
> 
> 
> 
> Sandwiches




:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## JCD

Disenchanted said:


> Sandwiches
> 
> 
> 
> Sandwiches
> 
> 
> 
> Sandwiches
> 
> 
> 
> Sandwiches


Nyotaimori with sandwiches? Huh. I guess I know where you hide the pickle.


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## Disenchanted

xakulax said:


> :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


I can't even see the woman in this photo:


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## Disenchanted

Look at the size of this sandwich!


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## lookinforhelpandhope

Thanks for all the rpelies guys.

I guess the question stems from this.

Been separated for a few months and looking to try rekindle things. We CANNOT go back to a relationship that remotely resembles what we had before and that includes sex. Looking to spice things up and make it somethign entirely different to before.

Suggestions welcome :smthumbup:


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## JCD

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Thanks for all the rpelies guys.
> 
> I guess the question stems from this.
> 
> Been separated for a few months and looking to try rekindle things. We CANNOT go back to a relationship that remotely resembles what we had before and that includes sex. Looking to spice things up and make it somethign entirely different to before.
> 
> Suggestions welcome :smthumbup:


Wait...what?

You were with someone...and now you want to be BACK with that someone? Or you are looking for a new relationship?

Are you asking what YOU should be attracted to...or what will attract a man?

I'm confused. :scratchhead:


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## Disenchanted

Well I don't know anything about your past relationship but maybe ask him to meet you somewhere, then put on a wig and change your hair color completely, wear something provocative that is out of character for you, make sure you have some really sexy shoes or boots on, and bring sandwiches.


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## JCD

Disenchanted said:


> I can't even see the woman in this photo:


That is a distinctly inferior sandwich. For one thing, it is chicken. Real sandwiches are beef or ground up meaty bits.

Second, it's Hardee's, which is the 'Walmart' of sandwiches.

Get a real sandwich like Roy Rogers or a Lenny's Sub.

I can easily see this thread degenerating into sandwich porn...


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## CharlieParker

Disenchanted said:


> Look at the size of this sandwich!


DDDelicious.


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## WhiteRaven

Disenchanted said:


> Look at the size of this sandwich!


What sandwiches? All I see are mangoes.....


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## JCD

Since this thread is all over the place anyway...


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## Disenchanted

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Suggestions welcome :smthumbup:


Ask to meet him in a public place, a park with benches would be perfect. 

Wear a huge floppy hat and gigantic sunglasses that cover most of your face. Wear a wig, as long as you can find. Working girl red lipstick and nails, and a tiny dress. At least 4" under the heel and a picnic basket. 

While he's waiting to meet you, sit down next to him and see how long you can talk before he realizes who you are. 

Then give him a sandwich.


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## Jellybeans

I just noticed that. Why?


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## jb02157

All I ever wanted was a woman to be "into" me as much as I'm "into " her. I will probably never find that.


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## ScarletBegonias

jb02157 said:


> All I ever wanted was a woman to be "into" me as much as I'm "into " her. I will probably never find that.


Before DH that's all I was asking for too. Before me,that's all DH was asking for as well. Imagine our surprise when we found that in each other
Don't say you'll probably never find it,it's untrue and only serves to drag you down and make you feel low. Some women just suck and not in the fun way. There are good ones out there and there is no reason you can't end up with one of them.


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## Omego

Jellybeans said:


> I just noticed that. Why?


I was wondering if it was because he was being flippant towards the person asking for help about re-kindling her relationship or maybe the breast pictures? I kind of wondered what was going to happen with all of that. Was funny though....:scratchhead:


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## tacoma

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> . . . .what really turns guys on ?


Her wanting it even more than I do and showing it.


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## youkiddingme

May have been banned because it was beginning to look like a 12 year old was replying every 3 minutes with a flippant comment to a genuine question.


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## WhiteRaven

youkiddingme said:


> May have been banned because it was beginning to look like a *12 year old *was replying every 3 minutes with a flippant comment to a genuine question.


Mid life crisis


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## LongWalk

ConanHub said:


> Tough women. I like ass kickers. Michelle Rodriguez usually plays women that really trip my trigger.
> 
> The UFC fighter, Rhonda Rousy, really turns me on as well.
> 
> Feminine, but bad ass!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Umm, don't you think Ronda digs chicks?


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## LongWalk

OP,

Why were you separated?
Sounds like he is wanting a better sex life.

What was it like before?


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## lookinforhelpandhope

Well, our relationship hit hard times after he returned from a difficult deployment, closely followed by the loss of a good friend and one of his brothers. 

Yes, he probably does want a better sex life, as our relationship deteriorated the quiality of our sex life deteriroated with it.

However, I also want a better sex life and feel like a good way to kick start it is to take the initative and make sure what we have going forward is entirely different to what we had before, hence looking for some pointers.

In the time we've been separated we've both been seeing other people, in a very casual way. That won't stop until I know we're both on the same page. So, any pointers way wel end up being for the benefit of this other person, IF things move in that direction instead.


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## JCD

You will never have another 'first kiss' with your husband.

You will with these random strangers you date. That, and the validation of 'I want you' from someone new is a HUGE emotional/biochemical hurdle your husband is supposed to surpass.

Guess what? He can't do it. Neither can you. Not all the wigs or push up bras in the world are going to do that.

If you want to keep dating, keep dating. Start to put aside some money every week for the divorce and keep on keeping on.

Sounds like you have issues. So does he. It takes a HELL of a lot wrong with a car for someone to just throw it away and get a new one. It's generally cheaper to fix it.

Your mileage may vary.


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## Marduk

First, I commend you for wanting to try.

Second, you both need to decide if you're going to make a go of it -- and that means not having other people in the picture.

I for one would be massively turned off by my ex trying to reunite with me while bouncing on other guys. At most it would be no more than a booty call to kill time.

I know it's cold, but in one man's opinion, if my wife ever had sex with someone else -- separated or not -- we would be done and dusted for ever. Even if I was sleeping with other women.

I don't claim that it's fair or makes sense. Something hard-wired in me; it might be in him too.

He may be holding back sexually with you because of fear of you being with other guys.


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## lookinforhelpandhope

Thanks for the replies guys and yes, it has taken a hell of a lot for us to get to where we are right now.

So, just to be clear on the dating other people aspect. For him, the lack of sex while we've been separated was really getting to him. I understand that and he asked for permission to sleep with someone else. I said yes.

Now, may part in the dating other people. Until very recently (last week or so) I was all about us trying to fix things. Him, not so much. I genuinely wasn't interested in anyone else and wasn't looking. Then he did something that was really out of line and I kid you not almost like flickng a switch my desire to get things back with him turned to almost off. I still wasn't looking to date anyone else. Unexpectedly I have come into contact with someone who normally wouldn't even have caught my eye. Agreed to go for diner and was very surprised by how well we got along. Have been honest with the other person about my situation but growing to like him far more than I thought possible.

Now, after all that, the ex wants to try fix things out. I haven't slept with this other man and the decision right now is leave the past in the past and move on or make a final effort to rekindle my marriage. Either way, which ever direction it goes and whomever I may be physically close to in the future, I'd like to expand my horizons somewhat in terms of sex. Try new things. If I decide to fix things (or try to) with the ex then I know this isn't the answer to all our problems nor will it reignite that honeymoon feeling however, it sure won't do any harm and may help to improve at least one area in which things were lacking.


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## Marduk

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Thanks for the replies guys and yes, it has taken a hell of a lot for us to get to where we are right now.
> 
> So, just to be clear on the dating other people aspect. For him, the lack of sex while we've been separated was really getting to him. I understand that and he asked for permission to sleep with someone else. I said yes.
> 
> Now, may part in the dating other people. Until very recently (last week or so) I was all about us trying to fix things. Him, not so much. I genuinely wasn't interested in anyone else and wasn't looking. Then he did something that was really out of line and I kid you not almost like flickng a switch my desire to get things back with him turned to almost off. I still wasn't looking to date anyone else. Unexpectedly I have come into contact with someone who normally wouldn't even have caught my eye. Agreed to go for diner and was very surprised by how well we got along. Have been honest with the other person about my situation but growing to like him far more than I thought possible.
> 
> Now, after all that, the ex wants to try fix things out. I haven't slept with this other man and the decision right now is leave the past in the past and move on or make a final effort to rekindle my marriage. Either way, which ever direction it goes and whomever I may be physically close to in the future, I'd like to expand my horizons somewhat in terms of sex. Try new things. If I decide to fix things (or try to) with the ex then I know this isn't the answer to all our problems nor will it reignite that honeymoon feeling however, it sure won't do any harm and may help to improve at least one area in which things were lacking.


This will sound flippant but it's not. From a guy that's been there.

Go for dinner with your husband. Lay it on the line. Tell him there's another potential in the picture but you're note sleeping with him -- yet. Tell him your expectations and hope for your sex life with whoever you're with. Tell him what you want from marriage and that you're willing to give it another go given whatever your constraints are.

Clearly and concisely. "Husband, listen. I want to give this another go. But I also want a sex life that includes X and Y and Z times a week. Aside from sex I want a relationship that includes A and B. I want that to be with you, but I will get that elsewhere if that's not what you want. There's someone else in the picture that I haven't been physical yet with but I'd like to explore it with him if you're not willing to work on this. I would like to either move forward with our marriage or get closure on it before I move forward with my life with other people. Please let me know if you're in or out within a week."

Something like that.


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## lookinforhelpandhope

marduk said:


> This will sound flippant but it's not. From a guy that's been there.
> 
> Go for dinner with your husband. Lay it on the line. Tell him there's another potential in the picture but you're note sleeping with him -- yet. Tell him your expectations and hope for your sex life with whoever you're with. Tell him what you want from marriage and that you're willing to give it another go given whatever your constraints are.
> 
> Clearly and concisely. "Husband, listen. I want to give this another go. But I also want a sex life that includes X and Y and Z times a week. Aside from sex I want a relationship that includes A and B. I want that to be with you, but I will get that elsewhere if that's not what you want. There's someone else in the picture that I haven't been physical yet with but I'd like to explore it with him if you're not willing to work on this. I would like to either move forward with our marriage or get closure on it before I move forward with my life with other people. Please let me know if you're in or out within a week."
> 
> Something like that.


That actually makes a lot of sense;. Just keep it clear, simple and be honest. 

Thank you.


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## Marduk

Anytime. Best of luck.


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## youkiddingme

Wow. I don't think I would include that there is someone else in the picture. Maybe you share that later on. But if you share it now it could well blow up on you. If my wife told me that, my concern would not be about what all I need to change nor about working on us, but about finding out who she is thinking of cheating with.

To tell him that would completely change the course of the discussion ....in my opinion. You don't want the next 6 months to be about you contemplating an affair. You want it to be about him listening and making appropriate changes. Just my opinion.


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## JCD

I think that sleeping with the other guy would have been a deal breaker.

You MAY move forward. But men aren't mind readers. Lay it out there.

Best of luck. I would suggest going someplace new for a vacation.


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## lookinforhelpandhope

JCD said:


> I think that sleeping with the other guy would have been a deal breaker.
> 
> You MAY move forward. But men aren't mind readers. Lay it out there.
> 
> Best of luck. I would suggest going someplace new for a vacation.


That's a good suggestion although not sure I could spend that much time in his company right now.

Maybe a day trip somewhere new but not too far from home would be good.

And I agree with everyone on just laying it on the line.


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## JCD

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> That's a good suggestion although not sure I could spend that much time in his company right now.
> 
> Maybe a day trip somewhere new but not too far from home would be good.
> 
> And I agree with everyone on just laying it on the line.


Hmm.

My wife and I had 'an issue'. And by issue, I mean 'hated each other's guts, didn't trust the other and were both seriously talking about a divorce' issue.

Sound familiar?

Now...we had kids. This makes a huge difference.

That being said, we both decided to give it a college go. And we spent time together. And we had horrible conversations. We at times hated each other even more. 

But we started listening. We asked questions and gave honest (not comfortable) answers.

To get to a 'good place' you need to make sure you've gone through the bad places and solved all those problems there.

So...I totally get that 'spending time with him' will likely be very horrible. Certainly much nicer to be with a stranger who hasn't disappointed you and is always on his best behavior/free spending dating days.

As I said, that is an unfair comparison to make with a relationship. You don't have kids, he asked for the rather crass and while you agreed, it was hurtful to even be asked. I get that too.

But if you leave him because there is another shiny toy waiting in the wings...well...there is ALWAYS another shiny toy waiting in the wings. So while your SO may be a POS, don't leave because of the other guy. Leave because your SO is a POS.

And bear in mind that Shiny Toy will have his own issues. You just haven't found them yet.

Eyes wide open.


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## CuddleBug

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> . . . .what really turns guys on ?



What really turns me on in a woman? Let me think about this....here goes.

- physically fit and attractive (takes care of herself)
- kind heart and loving
- intelligent (not a dumb hotie)
- isn't a princess
- does do physical work around the house, assisting me
- has a high sex drive and takes the initiative when in the mood
- into adventurous sex and not vanilla sex
- preferably tall (bad experiences with short ladies)
- not controlling and nasty
- I don't care if she has huge or just average sized breasts
- clothing doesn't matter, as long as it looks good on her
- hair style doesn't matter, as long as it looks good on her
- same if she wears glasses
- works a full time job like me
- likes pets
- open to having kids, if we both decide we can afford to do so
- likes to watch movies, go for walks, cuddle, do things together and also have our times to be apart, our space

Sounds a lot like Mrs. CuddleBug.........


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## TurtleRun

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Lol, any particular kind??


My husband says salami sandwich. :smthumbup:


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## TopsyTurvy5

What turns me on?

Blond hair
Petite/thin
Athletic
Curves
5'0 - 5'4
Cute face
Fun personality
Sense of humor
Sexually open to things other than vaginal sex
Respectful of herself sexually 
Sensitive, but emotionally strong
Reasonably tight vagina - not much worse than a sloppy, loose vagina
Job
Goals
Sexually responsive and knowledgeable of her own sexual needs
Emotionally stable
Shapely legs
Skirts
Short dresses
Thongs
Shaved vagina
Highly intelligent
A giving personality

There is my very specific list!


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## lookinforhelpandhope

Thanks again for the suggestions guys.

So, slight development over the weekend and I'd appreciate your opinions on whether it was right or wrong of me to react this way.

Husband calls late Saturday afternoon. He was suggesting we go do something together and maybe spend the night at a hotel after. Good that he was making an effort but here's the problem.

I had invited a group of friends for dinner/BBQ. They were due to arrive about an hour after he called. A couple of them were already on their way. So, I explained to him that I already had plans and didn't think it was fair on everyone else to cancel at the lastr minute.

He's furious and says he feels like I'm just putting them before him. I on the other hand think it was unfair of him to not only expect me to drop everything at the last minute but also to be rude to good friends.

So, your thoughts, was it unfair of me to be considerate of friends rather than changing plans to spend time with him?


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## youkiddingme

Was he already aware that you all had company coming over?


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## lookinforhelpandhope

No, he just called up last minute, after very little contact for a few months.


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## Dollystanford

Sorry I can't stop laughing at 'reasonably tight vagina'


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## CH

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Lol, any particular kind??


Tuna!

BTW, what really turns me on

Dumb as a rock
Rocks me like a porn star
Can suck a bowling ball through a straw (the ones you sip coffee with)
And leaves you alone after sex.

BTW, those aren't keepers.

For wife material
Hold the household together
Takes care of herself
Can survive without me (not co-dependent)
Rocks me like a porn star
Suck a marble through a straw, can be the boba type straws (yeah, I lowered my standards for this one, the other aspects make up for it )
And there's more to list but this should be enough.

Didn't know which you were inquiring about so I posted both types of women that turn me on 

Since I'm married now, I'm stuck with option number 2, hehe

If my wife were to leave me, I would stay single and live life out enjoying the company of as many individuals of the opposite sex as possible. That and taking care of my 3 little girls.

You wanted honesty.


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## Plan 9 from OS

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Thanks again for the suggestions guys.
> 
> So, slight development over the weekend and I'd appreciate your opinions on whether it was right or wrong of me to react this way.
> 
> Husband calls late Saturday afternoon. He was suggesting we go do something together and maybe spend the night at a hotel after. Good that he was making an effort but here's the problem.
> 
> I had invited a group of friends for dinner/BBQ. They were due to arrive about an hour after he called. A couple of them were already on their way. So, I explained to him that I already had plans and didn't think it was fair on everyone else to cancel at the lastr minute.
> 
> *He's furious and says he feels like I'm just putting them before him.* I on the other hand think it was unfair of him to not only expect me to drop everything at the last minute but also to be rude to good friends.
> 
> So, your thoughts, was it unfair of me to be considerate of friends rather than changing plans to spend time with him?


What does your husband expect? You two separated. You gave him the green light to sleep with someone else. The moment you have the opportunity to sleep with someone else yourself, he suddenly wants to "work hard" to fix this marriage. 

IMHO, it would not be within your best interests to work on this marriage. If your husband truly valued this marriage, he would not have asked if it was OK to see other people while separated. I say this with all due respect, but you need to WAKE UP.


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## lookinforhelpandhope

Plan 9 from OS said:


> What does your husband expect? You two separated. You gave him the green light to sleep with someone else. The moment you have the opportunity to sleep with someone else yourself, he suddenly wants to "work hard" to fix this marriage.
> 
> IMHO, it would not be within your best interests to work on this marriage. If your husband truly valued this marriage, he would not have asked if it was OK to see other people while separated. I say this with all due respect, but you need to WAKE UP.


Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with you.

Until now I was very dedicated to fixing things out but each and every time I hae to deal with him behaving out of line, that desire to fix things just erodes.


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## TopsyTurvy5

Dollystanford said:


> Sorry I can't stop laughing at 'reasonably tight vagina'


 The comment actually came from the women's thread, where a woman answered with "..a reasonably sized c*ck." I just changed things a bit.


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