# Two kinds of poison



## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

Which is worse a Marriage that has several problems and that makes the sex a problem???
Or Sex that is the problem and makes the marriage bad??
I think I would rather have marriage problems because I could understand that and fix it.Then the sex would be good.When your OP has sexual problems sometimes they can't be fixed and that causes marriage problems???I would be so willing to change to make someone happy in marriage to have sex with them??But I can't seem to fix the other oppsite


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> Which is worse a Marriage that has several problems and that makes the sex a problem???
> Or Sex that is the problem and makes the marriage bad??


In my case the sex was the problem and proceeded to seperate us.

Come to think of it, both are bad, so I'd rather not have either scenarios anymore.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Refer to my message in a different thread. Sex can be a problem that can destroy a marriage and then you are done but there are other problems that are just as hard to overcome but have life long implications to the whole family...


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

somehow,for me at least,when the sex is good all the other issues that arise seem much easier to navigate.Obviously this won't be true for everyone,it's just something I found to be true for myself and SO feels the same.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> somehow,for me at least,when the sex is good all the other issues that arise seem much easier to navigate.Obviously this won't be true for everyone,it's just something I found to be true for myself and SO feels the same.


Totally agree! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I don't understand how they are different?

When there are problems in the marriage, they eventually show up in the bedroom. The two aren't really separate things. 

When the bedroom is rocking... it makes the OTHER issues less minimal, but that only goes so far.

There has to be a good basis there for the sex to continue. You can't have horrible relationship and good sex 4 times a week for the next 20 years. Not without paying for it.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

In my case they were connected. The lack of sex was a marital problem. The marital problem caused lack of sex.

And it wasn't just ONE problem it was lots of them.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

The two scenarios are very different. I lived the second one and barely came out alive.

A marriage with a few problems (depending on what they are of course) would be far easier to fix as long as the two people are adult enough to work things out.

A marriage that is bad due to sex is pretty much doomed.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

How is a lack of sex not a relationship problem?


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> somehow,for me at least,when the sex is good all the other issues that arise seem much easier to navigate.Obviously this won't be true for everyone,it's just something I found to be true for myself and SO feels the same.


When the sex is great... and you have an argument...

FIGHT in the NUDE!!!


That will solve just about any problem...


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

For me, there are always going to be bumps along the way in any marriage and they can be worked out.

Now sex is a different matter. If the LD spouse doesn't want to change, deal with it and take care of her HD spouses needs, nothing you can do but suffer. The marriage will wind up being more friends and room mates and eventually split up.

If one spouse wants sex often and adventurous sex and the other spouse only wants occasional sex (duty and pity....) and vanilla sex, doesn't work in the long run.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Sex is a very polarizing issue and people often may refuse to compromise on anything sex related even though they compromise in lots of other areas in a marriage.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> For me, there are always going to be bumps along the way in any marriage and they can be worked out.
> 
> Now sex is a different matter. If the LD spouse doesn't want to change, deal with it and take care of her HD spouses needs, nothing you can do but suffer. The marriage will wind up being more friends and room mates and eventually split up.
> 
> If one spouse wants sex often and adventurous sex and the other spouse only wants occasional sex (duty and pity....) and vanilla sex, doesn't work in the long run.


You can't build a marriage based on sex alone.

But, if you are incompatible in the bedroom. you're going to have problems... And, the greater the disparity.... the greater the problem.


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