# Traveling without my husband..



## worldtraveler815 (Apr 10, 2013)

My husband and I don't take vacation or travel together, except on very rare occasions. He hates flying on planes and is a homebody and I love traveling around the world any opportunity that I get. He's ok with the fact that I travel but I would much rather travel with him than solo. It kind of makes me sad that some of my favorite moments of my life, such as seeing Petra or Machu Picchu were spent without him.

I enjoy my trips and will never give up traveling around the world but it does make me sad when I'm traveling and see so many happy couples together. Does anyone else travel without his/her spouse?


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Do you discuss these trips with a male friend?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

Cars, Trains, Really big boats?


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## worldtraveler815 (Apr 10, 2013)

If you're insinuating that I go on trips by myself to meet other men, the answer is no. I travel the world to see and experience other cultures and sights. I knew as a child that I wanted to travel the world and unfortunately, married someone who doesn't have the same values that I have when it comes to traveling.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Simple then. Leave him and enjoy the world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

worldtraveler815 said:


> Does anyone else travel without his/her spouse?


I think that's awfully sad. Our love of travel is one of the few things that my wife and I have in common. 

And it's especially sad because while I have traveled the world (partly because of my job in the military), most people can't. I have plenty of friends who would love to travel but either can't afford to, or can't ever leave their jobs. Some people don't appreciate their own advantages.

On another note, I hate to suggest this, but is it possible that the reason he wants you to go alone is because he's able to have affairs while you are gone?


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## jd08 (Nov 20, 2012)

Apparently i do. Lol. Read my thread. 



worldtraveler815 said:


> Does anyone else travel without his/her spouse?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

For almost all of our marriage (23 years) I frequently went on trips without my husband on a regular basis. In the earliest years (first 2 years) when we lived in Virginia while he was in the Navy we would go together and we had fun taking weekend trips quite often but once we moved back to NJ it was all about what HE wanted and what he was doing with HIS friends. He literally dropped me like a hot potato and ignored me. When I protested, I was told that he "wasn't my social director and I should get my own life." 

So I did just that. I bought my Mustang GT convertible and proceeded to a lot of things with it, show it, race it and take road trips with it. I took it all up and down the east coast from Canada to Florida and once went out to the Colorado Rockies in back for 2 weeks..all by myself. At first it was weird being on my own but then I began to enjoy the freedom of being on the open road, doing what I wanted, when I wanted. 

In 2001 I sold the Mustang and bought a Miata and did solo tripping even more. I often went away for a week at a time each month during the spring, summer and fall. Sometimes I took a trip to meet up with friends but often it as alone. I went up to the Maritimes in Canada twice and drove all the back roads in the mountains of New England and in the Southeast. I knew and drove every twisty back road that I could take that car down. 

I've done similar things with my current vehicle, a 2005 Jeep Vehicle. I varied things by taking it 4 wheeling as well. High gas price made the long road trips a thing of the past but I often took trips to go kayaking, hiking and camping for a long weekend. Now I'm divorced and I have my kids living with me so that keeps me home more often these days but one day I plan to take up traveling again. I really love it and miss it. 

Did it hurt my marriage to do this? I don't know and didn't really care. My husband did everything possible over the course of our marriage to push me away and I did this to indeed have my own life and enjoy myself. Had I not done this I would've just been nagging and fighting with him instead. At least this way were coexisted quite well. I got my trips and he got his time to do what he wanted. I guess he grew to resent the time and money I spent but I told him when he said anything, "Dr Frankenstein, this is the monster YOU created."

The man was never into spending a significant time of quality time with me. He was and still is a selfish, self centered individual who wanted to call the shots in every aspect of our marriage. If I was onboard with him then it was good but to do something that I wanted wasn't an option. It was literally his way or the highway.

When he came into some money at the end our marriage he bought a boat and took frequent trips to Lake George to go on fishing and camping trips. I often accompanied him because I liked going there too but even then it was all done when he wanted and how he wanted. 

Many times I asked if we could go someplace else together but he always refused. saying it would be "boring" and why go to Newport, RI or the southeast if we could go to Lake George instead? Because it would be different and something that I wanted to do? :slap: Just getting him to go away for a romantic weekend was a horror show and not worth the effort. 

So yes, I'm GLAD I did what I did, when I did. I never had an affair and I assume he didn't and just because married people do stuff separately doesn't mean they are off screwing around with someone else! Eventually I stopped the long road trips when the kids got older and I realized that they needed their mother home more often but often I'd take my kids along, especially my daughter who loved going 4 wheeling with me with my Jeep. 

As for my now ex husband, he still sits home being the same old boring person he was 25 years ago. My only regret is that I didn't leave him more often and earlier in the marriage. 

I will say that if I met a guy who wasn't into traveling or had a problem with me I wouldn't get into a relationship with that person. I enjoy my "alone time" but I'd like to have someone who would at least want to go someplace with sometimes. Not all the time, because I like my solo trips, but once in awhile would be nice.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

That would really make me sad. Part of what I feel when I travel for work is a strong desire to have my husband there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My STBXH and I enjoyed traveling the world together. That wasn't at the top of the discussion list of things to do when we first got married but I would have been disappointed had he not wanted to go. 

Had that actually been the case, I would have gone without him. So don't be sad --- enjoy the opportunity to do something that's important to you.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

worldtraveler815 said:


> If you're insinuating that I go on trips by myself to meet other men, the answer is no. I travel the world to see and experience other cultures and sights. I knew as a child that I wanted to travel the world and unfortunately, married someone who doesn't have the same values that I have when it comes to traveling.


All I can say is I understand..I don't have to even travel the world just my own backyard to say to my husband "come look what I see".Only thing I can tell you is you should have never married a "homebody" if you like jet setting around the world.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

TCSRedhead said:


> That would really make me sad. Part of what I feel when I travel for work is a strong desire to have my husband there.


For a long time I felt sad about it. I was angry about it too. But I love to travel and it was better for me to travel alone and be happy then to stay at home and be stuck with my husband, who ignored me anyway. 

I'm practical like that and now I look forward to the day when I can do some heavy duty traveling again, when my kids are on their own.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

dallasapple said:


> Only thing I can tell you is you should have never married a "homebody" if you like jet setting around the world.


Sometimes you don't know. Or your interests develop later in the course of the marriage. My mistake was not divorcing him sooner.


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## HeartWontHeal (Apr 8, 2013)

I take trips alone and sometimes prefer it that way. I can do what I want when I want like shopping.  Sometimes I need alone time and so does my husband. Being apart for a week or two makes us appreciate each other more and of course we miss each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Snow cherry (Apr 24, 2013)

I travel alone once a year for a month at a time..but, it's the only way I can see my mom. The only reason I'm alone is because my husband can't get off work and he needs to watch the kids. We'd love to travel together and expect to someday...if he didn't want to travel with me, I'd be sad/upset.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

My wife and I have traveled the world prior to getting togeether. I love the adventure of finding new places and feeling the history (especially Europe), meeting "odd" people (form my social framework POV) and all of it. We want to go to Ireland together since we're both of Irish descent, but our wanderlust has petered out for the moment. 

I never had a "road affair" although she did, which is part of what soured me, but I also want to build new memories in new places they never went lol...


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Don't make the mistake of not doing something because your wife did it with a former boyfriend or lover. 

My ex husband wouldn't go canoeing or camping with me because it was something that my first boyfriend and I did on a regular basis. When I married my husband I naturally wanted to enjoy the same things with him that I did before. He told me, "I'm not doing that because you did it with Dave". 

:wtf: That was the stupidest reason I've ever heard. :slap: So we rarely did ANYTHING together for years and eventually we grew apart and did everything separately. I can't tell you how much resentment and anger built up over the years because of his constant rejection of everything I wanted to do. If it wasn't something HE wanted to do it wouldn't get done or I'd have to nag and bug him incessantly, which made it worse. 

So build new memories with your wife, don't avoid doing things with her because of petty jealousy and paranoia about what may or may not have happened in her past. Build a better present together or you won't have a future together.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I traveled with my ex, as he said world travel was as important to him as it was to me.

I found later that he would travel, so long as I decided where to go, planned the entire trip from top to bottom and served as the guide, and forced him to save the necessary amount of money for his half (that was always a problem, he would complain and resist). He wanted to be like a child along for the ride.

When we were actually traveling, he had a low tolerance for frustration and threw tantrums a couple of times- not a good trait in a travel partner. 

He was also incapable of being impressed by anything (at least showing it or acting like he was 'having fun'). The last trip we went on was to Ireland, because that was his dream trip. I don't think he cracked a smile the whole time. The only comments I really remember him making are his bitter complaints when my camera battery died. Some personality types are just more trouble than they are worth when it comes to traveling.

The next person I get into a relationship with will need to share my level of wanderlust. I see a lot of men go out of their way to say they don't have the money to travel right on their online dating profiles, lol!

But when it's a priority, you forgo other things. You don't have to be rich. I went to India on $100 a day and stayed in palaces.

Until I find the right partner, I'll travel on my own when I can. I went to Hungary alone several years ago, and it was a little lonely, but also made me feel pretty cool, "OMG, I'm in the middle of Eastern Europe BY MYSELF!".

Now I'm considering a singles cruise or finding a really good tour to join. I will say that traveling alone is FAR superior to sitting at home waiting around for someone to come along who wants to travel to the same places at the same time as you. You could waste half your life waiting!


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Freak On a Leash said:


> Don't make the mistake of not doing something because your wife did it with a former boyfriend or lover.
> 
> My ex husband wouldn't go canoeing or camping with me because it was something that my first boyfriend and I did on a regular basis. When I married my husband I naturally wanted to enjoy the same things with him that I did before. He told me, "I'm not doing that because you did it with Dave".
> 
> ...


I totally get that, but this is the guy she ended up having an affair with on me with, so it's going to take some time before I want to repeat road trips with her. Otherwise, no way would I let her past life's pastimes (or work) get in the way of how I want to enjoy life. 

Although right now (in recovery from the emotional hit) I no longer play or write music, stopped using my camera, haven't sailed for three years, stopped riding my motorcycle two years ago, only played golf once two years ago and little things like that. ACH! Where did my life go? It broke into small pieces like my heart.


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## Nelka (Jan 22, 2014)

worldtraveler815 said:


> My husband and I don't take vacation or travel together, except on very rare occasions. He hates flying on planes and is a homebody and I love traveling around the world any opportunity that I get. He's ok with the fact that I travel but I would much rather travel with him than solo. It kind of makes me sad that some of my favorite moments of my life, such as seeing Petra or Machu Picchu were spent without him.
> 
> I enjoy my trips and will never give up traveling around the world but it does make me sad when I'm traveling and see so many happy couples together. Does anyone else travel without his/her spouse?


Please do not think that you are alone. I am in the very same boat. I have seen so much without him and I am now my own boss. I travel once a year for a month or three weeks and when I come back my husband is not even interested to see my pictures or hear what I have seen. It makes me really sad.
My husband is not the type who would go to other women, he'd rather spend time with his mates over cards, beer and watching hockey. So, I guess I am now getting used to that. The positive thing about it is that if we went together, we would have ended arguing badly, because I am very active, I like seeing things, but he is lazy, he'd rather stay on the beach and enjoy his beer....


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Zombie thread...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

I would quite like to travel but hubby doesn't have the same sense of adventure. Not sure about doing it alone, though - for all sorts of reasons.


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## WayUpNorth (Dec 14, 2013)

pink_lady said:


> The next person I get into a relationship with will need to share my level of wanderlust. I see a lot of men go out of their way to say they don't have the money to travel right on their online dating profiles, lol!
> 
> But when it's a priority, you forgo other things. You don't have to be rich. I went to India on $100 a day and stayed in palaces.
> 
> ...


I think a lot of men will mention in their profile that they don't have money for travel because most of the women post in their profile that they are LOOKING FOR MR. MONEY BAGS TO TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH THEM.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> I think a lot of men will mention in their profile that they don't have money for travel because most of the women post in their profile that they are LOOKING FOR MR. MONEY BAGS TO TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH THEM.


That's my wifes mentality as well. She wants to travel the world but on someone elses money. 

I like traveling but when traveling with others that are not children I have general expectations that the other person or persons make a active effort to cover a fair part of their related expenses. 

My wife and I do occasional day or overnight regional trips which I rather enjoy if she helps out with the driving by actually sitting in the driver seat. 

I hate when she can't shut up about how every other person on the road is driving and how I am reacting or adjusting my driving to share the road. 
If you don't like how I am driving then you drive. If you don't want to drive then shut up about how I am driving. It's that simple. 

Those are about my only two complaints with traveling anywhere. Pitch in or accept what you get and when you get it.


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## NorCalMan (Dec 14, 2011)

My wife loves to travel but I prefer to stay home. It's not that I haven't tried. Everytime we travel by air, I end up with a sinus infection or worst. Once we reach our destination, I usually get sick as a result of the different foods, water etc. I was even hospitalized after returning from a Mexico trip with intestinal parisites. She can go where ever she likes - whenever she wants - but I'm staying put!


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