# DH rejects me for religious issues and more..:(



## zaya

Hi Everyone! I am new here, and I am hoping someone can offer advice or insight.
DH and I have been married for going on 8 years. We have 3 young children. He is and has been a Christian all his life. I did not grow up in a biblical Christian home and I came to Christ later, after following various spiritual paths. 
When DH and I met I was already a Christ follower. Over the years since we are married I have grown very disappointed with institutionalized Christianity and many other happenings (mainly inside my soul/heart) started to open me up to different spiritual paths again. I am now no longer considering myself Christian in the strict sense of the word - something akin to a New Age Christian. We are no longer on the same page with my husband. 
This causes tremendous stress and depression and disappointment on his end. He has grown colder with me to the point that romance is mostly rejected by him and intimacy is non-existent. We do try to have sex -mainly if I literally beg him for it- but it's cold and emotionless on his end and he seems reluctant to do it at all..at some point he said he feels it is wrong to even sleep in the same bed at this point 

He says he still loves me but we no longer can have real intimacy due to us not being on the same page spiritually. He desperately misses to go to church and have a fellowship -something we haven't done in a long time due to work schedule, sicknesses, etc. I on the other hand no longer desire this activity the way he does, however I would be willing to go with him for his sake and happiness, just so long as he knows where I stand. He appreciates my honesty rather than pretending to be something that I am not - but he feels the base of our relationship is now gone. He longs for the "feminine "girl I used to be, one that relied on him as the head of the household spiritually speaking. It turns him off that I no longer rely on him for the fulfillment of my spiritual needs..
He doesn't even want me to stay at home with our kids since he thinks I could potentially corrupt their faith. 
He says basically he is very depressed with this situation and he will never get out of the depression without a spiritually agreeable wife, and he can't live like this..but divorce is not an option for him.
I also don't believe in divorce and have no desire to leave him. I love him still with all my heart and it breaks my heart to know that he no longer loves me the way he used to. I love him even when he belittles my beliefs and is sarcastic about every plea I try to make to help our marriage to get better.
I have been crying a lot and been truly heartbroken - something that he says it turns him off even more, to the point of not even wanting to see me. 
To him the only solution is if I give up my newly acquired spiritual beliefs - or else our marriage probably will remain empty, loveless, romance-less and sexless. And I can't live like that for sure.....but I can not give up my beliefs, it is too important to me at this point.

Once again, divorce is not an option for either of us....and I feel like we are stuck. I really love him and yearn for the intimacy we used to share..I am extremely lonely. I know he is too. I just don't know what to do anymore. 

If you've been through something similar or have any advice for me how to make things better..please by all means post away. I need some insight and help because I feel I am breaking down under the weight of being rejected, and all alone, while having to take care of 3 young kiddos mainly on my own (no family nearby and DH works a lot..and due to our differing opinions we now no longer really have friends either...)


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## accept

This is rather tragic. Cant you go to a priest at all about this.


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## zaya

accept said:


> This is rather tragic. Cant you go to a priest at all about this.


The problem is that he will only accept advice from anyone who is on the same page with him since only the biblical Christianity is without error and no advice could be taken seriously by him if it doesn't come from this source. Same for counseling..He won't go to neutral counselor since his faith is the most important thing for him and it defines him 100%..while I of course don't want to go to someone who would potentionally try to convert me back. The sad thing is, we have so many similarities and even to our kids I don't talk about anything else but the love of God. I try to pray with him - he says I should be ashamed to even take God's name on my mouth and there's no point in my praying since I pray to a make-believe God and not the real one..


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## accept

I must admit my ignorance of what 'biblical' means. As opposed to what.
I find it rather remarkable that a priest wont talk to you unless you convert back. Are you sure.


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## zaya

Biblical as in "the bible contains the whole truth unadultered, it is without error and you must follow it to the T to please God". Also, that Jesus Christ died for our sins and only through this we can be saved. Me on the other hand I no longer believe Christ is a person, I believe Christ-consciousness. Rather than following Jesus Christ, I believe in becoming the Christ. If that makes sense. 
I would not be totally opposed to talking to a christian counselor or pastor/priest but DH only accepts advice from those who 100% support his view, and that type will definitely try to "convert me back".


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## accept

No it doesnt make sense to me. Are you alone in this or is there a sect like this with a name to it. I must add I am not in this religion at all and consider them all rubbish. 
I can only say dont be so sure that it will be 'definite'.
Why are you so scared of them. 
You dont seem to have much choice.


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## zaya

I do not belong to a "sect" and I do not like to label myself with a definite name for a religion. I am a spiritual seeker, always been, but definitely not "religious". We stand on the same page morally speaking. I try to live out the same old Christian ideals he does, just from a different perspective. I am sorry if that does not make sense but you yourself said you consider all religions rubbish.. so I don't expect it to make sense.


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## zaya

Besides, in all sincerity, DH is the one who rejected ME, sexually, romantically, emotionally...based on his own beliefs..so how will someone help me who approves anyone rejecting his wife, his own body, for ANY reason...?  A reason like this?...I have never cheated on him and have tried to be loving wife and mother of his children. I have said things in the past I now deeply regret, none of us is without mistakes..but I have not given a reason for him to treat me like this.


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## accept

Now,now. I have very strong morals most likely more than you or your husband. But one doesnt have to be in that religion to have them.


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## sandc

If he's not able to find time to go to church then he is not as religious as he would like to think. That's number 1. Number 2, I have studied scripture quite a bit and no where have I found it to say you shouldn't sleep with your wife if she is of a different religion. The Bible does warn about marrying non-believers. But the Bible does say that the believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving spouse so that the children will be acceptable in God's sight.

It would be best if he would return to church and then begin a dialog with a pastor or elder. There is really only one core truth in Christianity, the rest is all trappings and additions by man.


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## accept

Your second post came together with mine.
I dont understand. Is it part of his religion or belief to reject etc.
I did say I was ignorant and all this is news to me.


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## accept

The Bible does warn about marrying non-believers.

You're not exactly a non believer like me. So I wouldnt include you.


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## zaya

The field he's working in does not have sundays. He works seconds and graves sometimes as well. He also admits he can't treat me as a non-believer but that we are not exactly on the same page kills his spiritual development..
I believe the kingdom of God is within, and if he needs to depend on others to develop him, he will be always disappointed.. He doesn't believe in personal development, he says he either wants us to grow together and develop together 100% the same way, or it all falls apart.


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## accept

I said religion was rubbish well certain ones, now look what its doing to you. Its dangerous as well. Its ruining you. 
No you have to do go. I dont think you have anything to fear and as I said thats your only chance.


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## zaya

It is not ruining me as I am accepting where he is and love him no matter what. It did not make me grow apart from him, I still loved and love him, still shared with him, still remained faithful and never rejected him sexually unless I was very sick. I accept all paths and faiths even if I disagree, and this would include accepting him too. I disagree but I believe in free will. I don't feel it has ruined me at all and I definitely don't understand why do I have to give up "my rubbish" for an even less accepting and less tolerant "rubbish" just to save our marriage?!


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## accept

Well you seem bent on the idea that the priest will convert you back and are scared of that and whatever I say wont make any difference.


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## zaya

I am not bent on the idea at all, it is my fear, yes, but I would be willing to give a try. What I was trying to express is, why are you so bent on the idea that we need to go to talk to a priest when both my beliefs, both my husband's beliefs are rubbish to you..My rubbish is atleast tolerant and accepting, unlike the priest/pastor's (since that IS the core belief of my DH, that there is NO other way to God but the one he follows)..Is there really no other solution to our problem but me accepting the autohority of someone who gives advice and help based on this fact? Where I am going to be the inferior party? I have NO problem living with a fundamentalist Christian and loving him with all my heart - but I can not give up my way of thinking and he definitely won't. And let me rephrase this - my way of thinking does not reject him, does not take away sex from him, does not teach anything questionable to his kids.. His way of thinking takes away my right to think for myself and even breathe for myself and that is just really hard to deal with at this point.  To not to mention, it deprives his wife from any warmth and love at all..I KNOW it is not Biblical for him to reject me like this, even if I was a non-believer..I AM and WANT to stay with him and I am committed to him and our family. He is the one who says that unless I believe 100% what he believes, he will be cold and miserable for the rest of our lives. Is that really the only solution then for me to submit to all that he believes, even if that makes me miserable inside?  Is it really impossible for two people to live together happily if they don't share the exact same faith? I mean crying out loud I am not some satanist, I serve the same God, I read the same words my DH reads, I just interpret them differently....why can't we enrich eachothers lives?


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## accept

You dont seem to understand me. I say go to the priest to talk to your husband not to convert you.


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## zaya

I understand it fine, but since you're not into religions, please believe me when I tell you this - fundamentalist christianity is all about "saving" (=converting) everyone especially the loved ones. I have been there before. I mentioned I became a Christian numerous years ago. The amount of people I've tried to save (=convert) still breaks my heart. DH would not listen to the advice of a liberal pastor that is "cool" with other religions.


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## accept

I really wonder. You came here for advice. What exactly did you expect to find.


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## sandc

Zaya,
The only thing required for salvation is to believe Jesus Christ died to save you from your sins. If you believe with all your heart, and confess this with your mouth, then you are saved. If anyone, be they angel or demon, preaches another gospel then you are commanded by scripture to flee those teachings. If you are content in your beliefs then don't worry about what his church teaches.

Your husband does have other options. Churches also meet on Saturdays, Wednesdays, etc for the very reason that people have scheduling conflicts. There is no reason to miss church.

Take the advice for what it's worth coming from a man who believes Christ is more real than this keyboard I'm typing on.


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## LimboGirl

Zaya,

I don't know what religion your husband is part of but I might have some insight.

I was raised a Jehovah's Witness. My mother was a witness. My father was not. When I was sixteen I decided not to be a witness. I was not baptized. There had come to be a lot of pressure for me to make a decision one way or the other. What was really meant was become a full fledged witness.

Like you I felt I couldn't pretend to be something that I wasn't. I have never regretted my decision. 

My relationship with my mother changed from that day further. It has been over 35 years since then. Our relationship only goes so far. The only way I could change this is to pretend to believe something I don't. I know that would only make me miserable.

Your situation is worse. If your husband is a fundamentalist. He is telling the truth. You have shaken his foundation. I'm not saying you shouldn't have. From his point of view you are the one that has become something he didn't marry. He is very worried about his children.

Now what do you do? You will not be happy if you pretend you believe something you don't. Your whole family will be miserable. Witnesses often are pressured to reconsider if they have doubts. I don't know if his religion is the same, but this doesn't work. You either believe or you don't.

Speaking as someone who has been through something similar. You need to take stock of your situation. Your marriage will never be the same. Divorce is not the worse thing. Growing up in a house divided by something like religion can be worse. I'm not saying you should divorce. But you should not make it something that is not going to happen. That can be much worse in some of these situations.


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## sisters359

He has given you an ultimatum--you must become what he says, or he will not be a husband to you in the true sense of the word. 

If you really love him, then let him go. Keeping him legally married to a woman he does not see as a wife is not an act of love. 

I am sure it will break your heart, but you will survive and learn to love again. I have to ask, though, how can you continue to love someone who is being so cruel to you? 

Please think about how he will react if you decide to end the marriage. His behavior to you is very controlling, and he may react very badly to losing control over you--just be prepared. He is already treating you quite badly, so it could get much worse. Think about your children. If he is depressed and also losing control, he could become dangerously irrational. His comments about about not wanting you to stay home with the children is unsettling, to say the least.


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## EleGirl

accept said:


> I must admit my ignorance of what 'biblical' means. As opposed to what.
> I find it rather remarkable that a priest wont talk to you unless you convert back. Are you sure.


I believe that what she means is that the priest, or minister, that is of the same sect as her husband would try to convert her back to believe as that sect does. It does not mean that all Christian priests would do that.


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## PFTGuy

zaya said:


> Hi Everyone! I am new here, and I am hoping someone can offer advice or insight.
> DH and I have been married for going on 8 years. We have 3 young children. He is and has been a Christian all his life. I did not grow up in a biblical Christian home and I came to Christ later, after following various spiritual paths.
> When DH and I met I was already a Christ follower. Over the years since we are married I have grown very disappointed with institutionalized Christianity and many other happenings (mainly inside my soul/heart) started to open me up to different spiritual paths again. I am now no longer considering myself Christian in the strict sense of the word - something akin to a New Age Christian. We are no longer on the same page with my husband.
> This causes tremendous stress and depression and disappointment on his end. He has grown colder with me to the point that romance is mostly rejected by him and intimacy is non-existent. We do try to have sex -mainly if I literally beg him for it- but it's cold and emotionless on his end and he seems reluctant to do it at all..at some point he said he feels it is wrong to even sleep in the same bed at this point
> 
> He says he still loves me but we no longer can have real intimacy due to us not being on the same page spiritually. He desperately misses to go to church and have a fellowship -something we haven't done in a long time due to work schedule, sicknesses, etc. I on the other hand no longer desire this activity the way he does, however I would be willing to go with him for his sake and happiness, just so long as he knows where I stand. He appreciates my honesty rather than pretending to be something that I am not - but he feels the base of our relationship is now gone. He longs for the "feminine "girl I used to be, one that relied on him as the head of the household spiritually speaking. It turns him off that I no longer rely on him for the fulfillment of my spiritual needs..
> He doesn't even want me to stay at home with our kids since he thinks I could potentially corrupt their faith.
> He says basically he is very depressed with this situation and he will never get out of the depression without a spiritually agreeable wife, and he can't live like this..but divorce is not an option for him.
> I also don't believe in divorce and have no desire to leave him. I love him still with all my heart and it breaks my heart to know that he no longer loves me the way he used to. I love him even when he belittles my beliefs and is sarcastic about every plea I try to make to help our marriage to get better.
> I have been crying a lot and been truly heartbroken - something that he says it turns him off even more, to the point of not even wanting to see me.
> To him the only solution is if I give up my newly acquired spiritual beliefs - or else our marriage probably will remain empty, loveless, romance-less and sexless. And I can't live like that for sure.....but I can not give up my beliefs, it is too important to me at this point.
> 
> Once again, divorce is not an option for either of us....and I feel like we are stuck. I really love him and yearn for the intimacy we used to share..I am extremely lonely. I know he is too. I just don't know what to do anymore.
> 
> If you've been through something similar or have any advice for me how to make things better..please by all means post away. I need some insight and help because I feel I am breaking down under the weight of being rejected, and all alone, while having to take care of 3 young kiddos mainly on my own (no family nearby and DH works a lot..and due to our differing opinions we now no longer really have friends either...)


I have a similar problem in my marriage, and it is one element of conflict that is leading toward what I think is an inevitable parting of the ways. In your case, what I hear is that your husband has fairly rigid, dogmatic views, and can't tolerate any alternative viewpoints. I think I sympathize more with your viewpoint, though I have found a relatively less rigid yet orthodox mainstream church in Methodism. I would suggest a few things for you, that I hope will help: 1. You might look at a book called "Becoming One," by Joe Beam, that may help you to work toward a deeper intimacy. 2. You might try to find enough common spiritual beliefs and a church that will accomodate both of you, without either of you feeling like you are compromising your own integrity. 3. If these are not successful, you might really consider whether you want to remain in a marriage that is so deeply unhappy. If your beliefs have radically diverged from where they were when you began your marriage, then a re-evaluation might be in order. I'm not pro-divorce, but I am anti-suffering.


Peace and grace....

PS It is possible, but not easy, for a closet doubter to remain in a dogmatic church. It would be a personal sacrifice for the sake of your marriage, and maybe worth the price if your marriage is your ultimate priority. Who knows, you might be able to quietly open some eyes to a bigger world while you are there.


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## that_girl

I would be disappointed too if my spouse flipped the script on me 8 years into my marriage...a marriage built on our faith.

My friend is going through this now with her husband of 5 years. he decided to stop being Christian all together (they are devout) and now he wants to be JEWISH  Figure that one out...she sure can't.

But you changed what he thought was solid. He will feel this way and I can't say I blame him.

Like you, i am more fluid with my spirituality and really believe everyone is on a path...I support almost all paths...some are no good or are evil...

Anyhoo, your husband is denying you because he feels betrayed and broken. By letting go of your faith (which he thought was strong, I'm sure) you broke his heart.


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## accept

*My friend is going through this now with her husband of 5 years. he decided to stop being Christian all together (they are devout) and now he wants to be JEWISH  Figure that one out...she sure can't.*
As far as I know it is against the Jewish (not idea what  means) faith to be married to anyone not Jewish. Even Miss Trump had to convert. This is not the same as here where it isnt.


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## accept

*I believe that what she means is that the priest, or minister, that is of the same sect as her husband would try to convert her back to believe as that sect does. It does not mean that all Christian priests would do that.*
I appreciate that. But my serious question is would he want divorce if she wont comply.


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## that_girl

accept said:


> *My friend is going through this now with her husband of 5 years. he decided to stop being Christian all together (they are devout) and now he wants to be JEWISH  Figure that one out...she sure can't.*
> As far as I know it is against the Jewish (not idea what  means) faith to be married to anyone not Jewish. Even Miss Trump had to convert. This is not the same as here where it isnt.


It's not Jewish, persay, but a cult offshoot. It's pretty discerning to her. My friend won't convert. She'll divorce him before that would happen. She's already looking at her options. Kinda sad that someone would do this so 'gungho' and ruin his marriage. He said God is telling him to do this. My friend said she would leave him if they cannot be on the same level religiously. He didn't care. Nice.


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## sarah.rslp

I think a couple needs to be on the same page when it comes to religion.

I was never very religious but I used to make an effort to go to church. When I was in the army I always had very positive experiences with religion and it came to be quite a big part of my life.

My husband is an atheist, and over the last few years mainly because he's become involved in various issues, it's become a major part of his life and it's something I need to support. It got to a stage quite early on that my being involved in the church simply wasn't going to be compatible with my supporting my husband.

So the issues resolved.. and with anything to do with religion that's what needs to happen... it can't be an ongoing debate, because as soon as you hit a rocky bit in your relationship there it'll be waiting to pounce.... so if there are issues like that then people need to sit down and work out hard and fast rules, which will usually involve one person compromising..


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## SimplyAmorous

zaya said:


> I have NO problem living with a fundamentalist Christian and loving him with all my heart - but I can not give up my way of thinking and he definitely won't. And let me rephrase this - my way of thinking does not reject him, does not take away sex from him, does not teach anything questionable to his kids.. His way of thinking takes away my right to think for myself and even breathe for myself and that is just really hard to deal with at this point.  To not to mention, it deprives his wife from any warmth and love at all..I KNOW it is not Biblical for him to reject me like this, even if I was a non-believer..I AM and WANT to stay with him and I am committed to him and our family. He is the one who says that unless I believe 100% what he believes, he will be cold and miserable for the rest of our lives. Is that really the only solution then for me to submit to all that he believes, even if that makes me miserable inside?  Is it really impossible for two people to live together happily if they don't share the exact same faith? I mean crying out loud I am not some satanist, I serve the same God, I read the same words my DH reads, I just interpret them differently....why can't we enrich eachothers lives?



I really feel bad for your situation. What you described here is exactly what COULD have happened to me -if I married a fundamentalist Christian -when I was younger & thought I was a Christian. My husband was never religious, oh my what a blessing this has been! I caused HIM more greif always wanting him to read the Bible and pray, dragging him to church sometimes 3 times a week. He managed putting up with me somehow. What is so darn funny about it was....he always had more "*fruits of the spirit *" than me....by a long shot! 

Eventually I lost my faith, I always questioned too much anyway- it just dragged me down... I am much less judgemental now...on others, even myself, it was the beginning of my FREEDOM, I came into who I was meant to be, instead of hiding behind things I never could understand trying to play a part. I am much happier now, I laugh more , our marraige has only thrived because of this change. 

I consider myself a DEIST now (alot of people are this, they just don't know there is a name for it -many sit in our churches even)- pretty much I elevate REASON above blind faith, or any Holy book, I feel God judges us on how we actively treat other people & what is in our hearts -over what we "believe". The Golden Rule -with heart - basically.

Honestly, I am not sure how you wake someone up who rigidly looks at life this way, as they can* not *be reasoned with, they are not allowed to deviate from their said doctrines- every thought is measured against this or you are blackened in their eyes, so you are up the creek without a paddle in resolving ...... if he puts THIS above you, the well being of your family, your honesty , see your parenting as a immmoral, and is convinced YOU are the enemy now, you have a mountain the size of Everest before you, a divide similar to the Grand Canyon, and he is not backing down. He has put you in a straight jacket even. 

How does 2 different mindsets overcome ? 

Was your husband raised in a strict Christian environment ? I am assuming so, is all of his friends like this also? Can anyone outside of you reason with him? 

You may have to leave , separate from him, just so he can get a SHOCK to his system, re-evaluate what is TRULY important in this life /family - it may take something devestating to wake him up , I really don't think much else works -if one is not mentally willing to listen, open their hearts and minds to other possibilities outside of themselves. He has some fear here, if he does this, he will be sinning. I bet you. 

Why Fundamentalism is Wrong

.


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## RandomDude

You two have to work on tolerance and compromise. Regardless of the disagreements there will be times when you simply HAVE to agree to disagree and move on. But if not, you have to push for an ultimatum to break the limbo.

My wife is Christian and I'm a so-called "Pagan", though less flattering ignorant terms would be "demon-worshipper" etc, all titles I kinda just made into badges of pride out of irony :rofl:

We were ironically on the same page when we first met each other; she was a "spiritual Christian" not a religious one, and I have always been a "pagan", though my faith allows me to believe in anything or nothing at all, so I adopted the beliefs and wisdoms of her faith that I found compatible.

However, things got bad as soon as she got deep into her church. REALLY bad. She kept pushing her faith onto me, and I simply couldn't stand it. It wasn't until years later after we got back together that she tried to pull the same thing again on me, but I had enough, I sowed the seeds of reminding her who she once was and what she used to believe in, before she turned into something that she herself hated; "pharisees"... and then I put the foot down - and we seperated. She cried and she cried but I've reached my limit.

The seperation didn't last long though, but it was enough to prove a point. Ironically it wasn't my faith that helped her see the light, it was her own before she decided to become an intolerant fundamentalist. This was last xmas, and we've come a long way since our interreligious problems.

But just seperating was not the answer, I sowed the seeds by speaking her language: The bible. You too will have to steer him towards the message which is about love, forgiveness, not judgement and intolerance and even refusing to love his wife!!! To love his wife IS a 'commandment' in Ephesians.

You can sow the seeds but eventually you have to make it clear to him that you are not going to be coerced into accepting his faith. You will have to accept it willingly and within reason. Speaking of reason, as he seems a devout man of faith...

SA wrote this:


> I consider myself a DEIST now (alot of people are this, they just don't know there is a name for it -many sit in our churches even)- pretty much I elevate REASON above blind faith, or any Holy book, I feel God judges us on how we actively treat other people & what is in our hearts -over what we "believe". The Golden Rule -with heart - basically.


That's what my wife was like before she became what she also used to call "pharisee". She told me that she questions everything, and when I asked her about the Christians who believe in faith over reason, she told me "*if they are afraid to question, their faith is weak*".

She also told me that the old testament was all about laws, the new was all about love and forgiveness rather then judgement, and how love overrides all laws. More love, selflessness = less laws we even need.


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## annagarret

zaya said:


> Besides, in all sincerity, DH is the one who rejected ME, sexually, romantically, emotionally...based on his own beliefs..so how will someone help me who approves anyone rejecting his wife, his own body, for ANY reason...?  A reason like this?...I have never cheated on him and have tried to be loving wife and mother of his children. I have said things in the past I now deeply regret, none of us is without mistakes..but I have not given a reason for him to treat me like this.


you know what, you have deceived Him on every level......you married that wonderful man leading him to believe that you are a Christian woman with the same beliefs as him.......and you had children with him and THEN YOU changed your mind about your spirituality ............what are you thinking....I side with your husband.....you let him on.............


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## accept

That is not really fair. Faith religion etc are not definite things. The proof is that there are so many of them. This woman has seen the 'light' now what is she supposed to do. Carry on with a 'fake' religion.


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## mr.miketastic

zaya said:


> Biblical as in "the bible contains the whole truth unadultered, it is without error and you must follow it to the T to please God". Also, that Jesus Christ died for our sins and only through this we can be saved. Me on the other hand I no longer believe Christ is a person, I believe Christ-consciousness. Rather than following Jesus Christ, I believe in becoming the Christ. If that makes sense.
> I would not be totally opposed to talking to a christian counselor or pastor/priest but DH only accepts advice from those who 100% support his view, and that type will definitely try to "convert me back".


Zaya, you sound very much like a "gnostic" I applaud you for finding the light within. Unfortunately, because many fundamentalists find the idea of Yeshua being human, and the fact that his "disciple of disciples" was in fact Mary Magdalene, very difficult to accept. Call it cognitive dissonance. So having a discussion with your husband about faith and spirituality will be an herculean task. All I can say to you is have faith that you can both understand each other. All beliefs have their place in the universe, including atheism, and all are part of the Unknowable's plan


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## mr.miketastic

annagarret said:


> you know what, you have deceived Him on every level......you married that wonderful man leading him to believe that you are a Christian woman with the same beliefs as him.......and you had children with him and THEN YOU changed your mind about your spirituality ............what are you thinking....I side with your husband.....you let him on.............


She did not mislead him. It's quite possible to be a christian without believing that the bible is literal, or that it is the word of g-d. It saddens me to see people try to fit g-d into their image, and make g-d hateful, ignorant and intolerant. I will pray for your enlightentment (see what I did there?)


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## accept

May I ask the previous poster what religion are you. The way you write names and the name of god.


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## that_girl

annagarret said:


> you know what, you have deceived Him on every level......you married that wonderful man leading him to believe that you are a Christian woman with the same beliefs as him.......and you had children with him and THEN YOU changed your mind about your spirituality ............what are you thinking....I side with your husband.....you let him on.............


I do agree.

It's one thing to be searching for truth but it's another to be something and then flip the script later. 

He signed up for a Christian wife. He no longer has that. It's a fraud, in his eyes.


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## accept

*He signed up for a Christian wife. He no longer has that. It's a fraud, in his eyes.He signed up for a Christian wife. He no longer has that. It's a fraud, in his eyes.*
So its a fraud. Now what do you suggest she should do. Just fake it. Or is divorce called for.


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## that_girl

I don't know. 

But he has every right to feel the way he does. That was my point.

Don't know what to tell her...I'm all for searching out different faiths, etc. If they can't come to a compromise or get some tolerance in their marriage, what choice do they have? A sexless union with resentment and sadness? Nice.


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## accept

Well I do happen to know! Lol;.
I have no idea of these religions I cant be expected to know all of them. But does it really matter that much if H and W are not 'exactly' the same. Is there really that much of a difference between them. Perhaps you know more about them than I do.


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## that_girl

What are you talking about?

Her husband is upset that she is no longer on board with their religion. Something he thought she was into and married her probably for that reason (one of the reasons, I'm sure).

Now he feels mislead and deceived. 

I get this. I have a friend going through something similar. It sucks to plan out a life based on one thing and then get told your spouse no longer believes it.

But your comment made no sense, sorry. Do I know more about them as a couple or the religions? LOL I am still in my jammies.


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## accept

I can see you dont understand me. 
Again. The answer is plain. If this religion says divorce then that is what he has to do. If it doesnt then not.
Most religions that I know about are quite clear on this.


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## that_girl

Ah,I see what you mean.

Well, she can divorce him...but I really don't know where to go in this relationship. He wants something that she simply isn't.


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## mr.miketastic

accept said:


> May I ask the previous poster what religion are you. The way you write names and the name of god.


I am a Christian Kabbalist, or sometimes known as a gnostic, heretic and those damn hippies  
Baruch hata Adonai, elo-henu malech ha-olam, ha'tov, va-ha'me-tev


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## accept

I could answer you in kind but this is not the right site for that. I bet you dont even know yourself what the rubbish you write means. So I wont bother asking you.


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## mr.miketastic

accept said:


> I could answer you in kind but this is not the right site for that. I bet you dont even know yourself what the rubbish you write means. So I wont bother asking you.


g-d bless you too


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