# Frustrated with my Wife



## Misteryoso (Mar 27, 2008)

Hello everybody, hopefully someone can advice me. I been married with my wife for 5 years. I'm 35 yearl odl and my wife is 6 year younger than me. I love her to death, she has given me 3 beautiful boys and can complaint there. My frustration with my wife is that she doesnt have a sex drive. You may be saying to yourselfs " join the club buddy" but the reality is that is nt simply as it sounds. Let me give you a little of background information. Before I met my wife I was in a relationship where sexual activity was very active. After that realtionship I was single for over a year and thats when I met my wife. Early in our relationship sex was not present as much as I wanted to be. I asked my wife many times if it was me or if she just didnt have a sex drive. she responded that she doesnt feel any stimulation during intercourse, sd tha she does feel stimulation on the outer part of her genitalia and thats why she was not crazy about sex. Time went on and I try to adjust to the situation simply because I love her so much. We have talk openly about our situation and I have voiced my frustrations. She has gone to talk to doctors and sex therapists (which she went only like 3 times) and did nothing, I have tried sexual stimulators such as natural pills but no results. after a some time we started to have more sex ( 1 - 2 times week !! ) and when we had sex she was doing it for me. Ultimately, that complete me turn me off, in many ways I felt unmasculine and refused to have sex like that. eventually we began to talk about it again. I noticed that when she has couple of drinks she acts very different when it comes to sex, she enjoys it very much, and thats what I long from her. I have told her this but she just doesnt know what to do. She probably has initiated sex in all of our realtionship a handfull of times. I have also talk to her about this. I envy other couples with their sexual realtionships. I cant help myself to think about another woman to sastisfy my frustrations, I need help dealing with my situation

Sexually Frustrated


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## Rayne44 (Mar 7, 2008)

Have you tried a lot of foreplay? I'm talking about a lot of emotional stuff too making her feel at ease and beautiful? Not just focusing on her private area but her back and her legs kissing n caressing softly too? Whatever you do NEVER tell her you think about other women because it may do damage to her self esteem and destroy what sex drive she does have. Just my opinion being a women myself. Also you could try a penis ring that has a jelly nub that stimulates her outside also while u are having sex. There are tingle creams too. My advice would be not to pressure her because then it would be like a chore she would be doing for you but make it about her and romance her and spend lot of time on foreplay first telling her you want to pleasure her but not pressuring her to have the big O but tell her to feel the sensations and your love and not force it. A lot of women have that sex drive problem yours is honest enough to tell you. I I just have gave you my opinion I hope it helps. Good luck.


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## bhappy3 (Feb 4, 2008)

Sex is extremely mental for a woman. And the rest of it is clitoral. Read up on it.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

ABout women and sex...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/444-female-sex-thesis.html

draconis


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## 30somethingguy (Mar 31, 2008)

bhappy3 said:


> Sex is extremely mental for a woman. And the rest of it is clitoral. Read up on it.


I don't think this is really true as a generality, at all. Some women do depend on vaginal stimulation and even stimulating the cervix (if the guy can reach  ) so it's not all about the mighty clit 

If your wife is up for it, it might be worth experimenting with her to see what *would* help her enjoy sex or reach an orgasm. If the outer parts of her genitals don't respond so much, maybe there is a good vibrator or dildo that will do the trick further in.... it should be fun to experiment together  But be careful not to pressure her, I don't know but I bet women can have 'performance anxiety' too. Plus there is a danger she will feel you are trying to 'change' her - people tend to resent this! Communication is the cure for this particular ailment.

[Edit] - just to add that I'm not suggesting that a sex toy would be the solution overall, but maybe if it became a part of your sex life and she felt she was getting more out of it, she might be more willing to get involved with you. there's no law that says a man and a woman have to climax at the same time, or in the same way...


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

my wife never thought about using a vibrator ever, she bought me a back massager and I used it on her after some convincing...now she has been upgraded to the Hitachi magic wand....She loves it when she has the house to herself.


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## juls (Apr 1, 2008)

She needs to look inside herself. Her sexuality is just that hers. If she does not have a medical problem preventig htis then other things to look at is HBC(hormonal birth control) . 

Then she needs to figure out if her sexuality makes her feel valnurable, and does that feeling scare her...I have found that fear of valnurability is one of the most common libido killers. When you can't give "all" of yourself to a person for fear of what they will do with it, you tend to hold out the sex..


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## sillky717 (Apr 2, 2008)

maybe your wife is to shy to tell you what really turns her on. try asking her if she had a fantasy what would it be? in turn take the initiative and go first. as a woman sometimes you think if you say what you really want your partner might look at you different or get turned off. maybe thats why alcohal loosens her up because whatever she does she can blame it on being tipsy.


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