# Husband don`t love me, I wanna date



## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

My husband wants to end our marriage, there is no chance of reconciliation. He broke the news to me last Wednesday. We of course are still living together but I am getting out probably at the end of next month or July. I am devastated but want to move on with my life. I`ve been healing pretty fast as we only knew each other for under 2 years.

There`s a guy friend who wants to hang out with me and the feelings are mutual. Nothing serious just hangout to go to a movie or a club here and there. No sex until I`m ready of course.

I asked my husband if it was ok and he said LOL whatever.


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## amberlynn (May 24, 2009)

i dont think you need his permission to move on with your life if he wants to end your marriage, dont let him laughing at you stop you from moving on, thats just his way of being in control of the situation.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

It was so weird how this all happened, I went out with friends for the first time in months, didn`t even get into the bar yet and this guy I know asked me for my number. We were both not drinking all night and hung out later on. He is an excellent distraction to what I`m going through and he knows it.


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## amberlynn (May 24, 2009)

Its good that you're getting out there and getting all this off you're mind. Show your husband that you have control of you're life and that you can move on without him bringing you down.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

^Agreed, the sad thing about this loser is that one of my children's birthday is today. I don't make much money because I'm a student but managed to get her a present (voice lessons and a new kitten) but didn't have any money left for a birthday cake. My husband did not come home, he didn't get any groceries and my daughter doesn't have a birthday cake. grrrr. I can't wait until friday night.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Veronica, 

I've put candles in twinkies before for my kids when money was tight... be creative!


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

My new dating buddy just got divorced from of a 7 year marriage. It ended last year so we are both in the same boat I guess. It also helps he was a model!


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Veronica Jackson said:


> My husband wants to end our marriage, there is no chance of reconciliation. He broke the news to me last Wednesday. We of course are still living together but I am getting out probably at the end of next month or July. I am devastated but want to move on with my life. I`ve been healing pretty fast as we only knew each other for under 2 years.
> 
> There`s a guy friend who wants to hang out with me and the feelings are mutual. Nothing serious just hangout to go to a movie or a club here and there. No sex until I`m ready of course.
> 
> I asked my husband if it was ok and he said LOL whatever.


You should file for divorce FIRST and 
have him move out BEFORE you start dating

or you could end up in a world of surprises and a mess.

Personally, if it were me, I'd be filing for divorce now, date later.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

^^Nope, I have to move out this is his house. It's over for us. I'm getting a lump sum of money to get me going and I have no problem with that.

My soon to be ex-husband is a decent man, always has always will be. No hard feelings at all on either end, we make better friends than anything else. 

Preso, I appreciate your input but my situation is not yours.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

OK, so I talked to the hubby today, he was upset that I asked him if I could date only 2 days after he dropped that "I don't want to do this" bull****. He said I was being psycho and I laughed. I told him I was being mean and I wanted to know if it bothered him. He said well I care about you and stuff so yeah it bothers me.

I just wanted to know if he still has feelings for me enough to be bothered if I date other men. Just another way to ask, do you love me.

If there is a remote chance of working this out, I will fight for it. But if he steers me toward the door, I'm dating.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

I was asked if I'd be happy for her if she dated someone else. Or married someone else. I said a resounding h*ll no! So she cheated. 

You're walking a fine line, just be careful. A regular night with the girls would be ok, and you don't need to explain it (yet). It might be the wake up call needed. 

Just don't date until your divorce is final. It isn't fair to your date.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

We agreed that we will not be in any hurry to divorce (financial reasons). My husband and I agreed that we made a mistake by marrying each other. There is zero chance of reconciliation.

As for the model, I went out with him twice already, no intimate stuff and it seemed more like we are friends. We are not looking for a relationship but just a summer fling. I have a lot in common with him and enjoy having his company as it makes it easier for me to get over the pain of rejection I got from my husband. We are taking this at a pace that is very slow. I will be moving out in about a month. My new guy will not be meeting my children.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Just hang in there, girl. We're here for each other.


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## Country Girl (Apr 19, 2009)

I think it is fine for you to date. It will definitely help your self-esteem after being dumped by your husband. However, I wouldn't say a word to your husband about you dating. No need to have drama. Not all of us can have tidy divorces then move on to dating. Some of us will be tied up with a divorce for years--I can't imagine sitting at home being lonely while the divorce is being processed. Just be sure you know the divorce laws in your state.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

According to the law, divorce could be on the grounds of adultery and affect alimony and stuff. However, this is not the case as I am not seeking alimony at all and will be getting help with starting over again. 

As for my self-esteem, I have never felt better in a long time and realized the crap I was going through in this marriage. I definitely didn't deserve to be spoken to disrespectfully, neglected or made to feel I was just a visitor in this house.

The new guy thinks I'm absolutely beautiful and he comes from an excellent and loving family. This is in contrast to my husband's background where he was raised in a household where his father and step-father treated his mother badly. He brought alot of issues into this marriage that became evident over time.

The lesson learned is I should hangout with men who come from a family where his parents were loving and respectful with each other. I'm being very respectful to my husbadn by not rubbing this fling in his face.

My god this model I'm seeing is hotness!


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Veronica Jackson said:


> ^^Nope, I have to move out this is his house. It's over for us. I'm getting a lump sum of money to get me going and I have no problem with that.
> 
> My soon to be ex-husband is a decent man, always has always will be. No hard feelings at all on either end, we make better friends than anything else.
> 
> Preso, I appreciate your input but my situation is not yours.


Be sure you end the marriage before moving on, get your money
in your hand or bank account.
Don't be so sure it will go smoothly.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

He is very true to his word I do not anticipate any problems at all. He has even started honoring his word. I'm starting to pack this week. I think he suspects I'm seeing someone but he is being very respectful about it.

I'm glad to be out of this relationship, I was crushed at first but then came to realize my husband is emotionally retarded. I had a nice picnic with the new guy and he tells me that I'm beautiful and he stoked my back. My husband never gave me that kind of attention even in the beginning of our relationship.


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

i understand your frustration with your estranged husband complimented by your exhiliration about your new man.

it's clear your newfound friend is making your decision about and your transition after divorce much easier.

i humbly observe you display a unique lack of foresight about how divorces and eventual new relationships tend to unfold.

i hope you read my message in the kind and helpful spirit it is intended.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

"unique" lack of foresight is an interesting statement. I am taking this very slowly and carefully. He will settle on whatever it takes to get me started again as he is essentially a good man, just not good with intimate relationships.

As for the divorce, I've been through one before. I have experience in this matter. Money is not a problem so I'm not worried, I have to come up with a reasonable amount so that I could sign something that says I won't come after him for any more.
I am not greedy and we are not involving soul-sucking lawyers. My husband and I have a good friendship to fall back on. Additionally, I have a wonderful support system and a well-thought out plan in place.

My newfound friend just so happens to be here during this whole situation. I have sought counseling to help me through this as I think it's tacky to talk about exes when dating. He is just the icing on the cake.

I actually can visualize how this will unfold as I retain composure through this process.


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## melancholyman (Jun 1, 2009)

Wow, if he was never good at giving you attention, especially in the beginning of the relationship, what drove you to marry him? A sense of stability? Security? 

Well, my wife seems to be going the route you're going. She's dating "a really nice man" (then tells me who it is, since I know him), and she wants our divorce to go cleanly and amicably.

I don't think she'll ask for alimony and I don't have much money. All we have is the car, which she took and told me she wasn't giving it back. She took over the car payments, so I'm okay with it for now. I only need it on weekends when I have our child, but she says no to that, too.

Anyway, we're slowly becoming friends again, and even though I still love her, I know she won't let me back into her heart. She's having way too much fun, and she wants it to stay that way.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Melancholyman, Wow! I'm so sorry to hear that. I'd make a remark that rythmes with sandwich...that's got to hurt. So sorry for your pain.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

I never realized he wasn't giving me the attention I needed until later on in the marriage when the empty, lonely feeling took its toll. I became more affectionate and found myself wanting the same attention. He is very stoic and serious, I am carefree and open-minded. I found that attractive at the time.

I married him because we barely knew each other and we were stupid and had romantic ideas.


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