# Stamina. How can you last that long!?



## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

Does sex more often give a man better stamina? By "more often" I mean multiple times a week. I still fall into the once every 2-3 weeks category (and probably always will) and just can't seem to last that long at all ..... especially when I'm on top. Because of our infrequent sex, I just feel I'm not able to build up or train my mind to last longer.

I ask this because I partially feel our problem could be me. The fact that she has virtually no desire for sex, doesn't seem to get any pleasure when we have sex, and *never* has an orgasm could stem from this. I could certainly understand how the starting/stopping and constant quickies could affect her desire. She knows what's coming ..... it's me quickly!

Finally, do the Kegel exercises _really_ work? What's the alternative because I see nothing from those?


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

It's true...the more sex you have the longer you can last and build stamina. 

Last week I went 6 days without sex and it was torturous! My wife got her period coupled with life getting in the way was the cause of our dry spell.
When we did finally have sex I didn't last as long as I wanted too. 

Now every 3 days is a different story ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'm not sure,SO could have sex every night and if we have Saturday morning sex he will end in just a few short minutes 
He's all over the place on timing.

I'd suggest stopping a lot.Pull out then go down on her for a little while,hopefully make her O that way or with your fingers THEN go back for PIV so you can have your O.

Typically SO will use his fingers for a while as I'm rubbing him.Then he'll do oral on me til I O once or twice.Then he goes for PIV.He pulls out and focuses on me again if he feels like he's going to O too fast.That routine seems to really work for him...except in the morning lol


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## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

This was my assumption but really didn't know if was truth because all I've ever really known if once every couple weeks in our 14 years of marriage. I've told her this hoping it would spark her interest, but to no avail.


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## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

I'm a relative newbie here and am working on the abbreviations...

I figured O out (good for me!)

LD =
SO =


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Flyguy said:


> I'm a relative newbie here and am working on the abbreviations...
> 
> I figured O out (good for me!)
> 
> ...


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

LD=Low Desire/Drive
SO=Significant Other

Like Scarlet Begonias man, I am kind of all over the place with timing too. My STBW (Soon to be Wife) and I have sex 10-15 times a week, and I usually last about 5 minutes of focussed PIV. I am lucky in that I stay hard for another 10 minutes after my O. There are sometimes however that I am done in a minute, others it takes fifteen.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

As I have gotten older I can last longer. However I think my wife would rather have me be a 2 pump chump.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

It'll change as you age, but regular sex will give you better stamina. With an LD wife and 2-3 weeks per event, you may want to occasionally take things into your own hands. That will also help your prostate stay healthy. There are lots of good health benefits from regular sex.


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## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

doubletrouble said:


> With an LD wife and 2-3 weeks per event, you may want to occasionally take things into your own hands. That will also help your prostate stay healthy.


This is already a common occurrence. I have to to keep my sanity.

I'm at the point where I have to accept that I have an LD wife. Have not tried therapy, but no book or whatever I do/say is going to change her. After years and years of struggling to really find what's wrong with our situation, I firmly believe what Mavash says that there is no sex drive in an LD woman.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

Flyguy said:


> This is already a common occurrence. I have to to keep my sanity.
> 
> I'm at the point where I have to accept that I have an LD wife. Have not tried therapy, but no book or whatever I do/say is going to change her. After years and years of struggling to really find what's wrong with our situation, I firmly believe what Mavash says that there is no sex drive in an LD woman.


I have pretty much the same story as you. My wife has no sex drive and does not seem to care either. I have had the same thought. Maybe she has no interest because most of the time I do not last longer than 5-10 minutes. I can tell you that the whole "think about something else" trick is only minimally effective. Yes, the more that you do it the longer you will last. Having a solo session before you hit the main stage can backfire.


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

Thound said:


> 2 pump chump.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lol!!!!!!!!:rofl:


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Flyguy said:


> This is already a common occurrence. I have to to keep my sanity.
> 
> I'm at the point where I have to accept that I have an LD wife. Have not tried therapy, but no book or whatever I do/say is going to change her. After years and years of struggling to really find what's wrong with our situation, I firmly believe what Mavash says that there is no sex drive in an LD woman.


You may be able to train yourself to last longer. When you masturbate, make yourself last as long as possible. Slow down or stop and take things down a couple of levels, and repeat. Eventually you will probably develop more control.

I also agree that there is rarely a solution for LD women, unless it's a physical or hormonal condition that can be treated, or in some (also rare) cases they are just with the wrong person and would be a little more driven with someone else. Otherwise, it's just natural for them, and they see anyone with higher drive as being the abnormal ones.


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## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

tyler1978 said:


> I can tell you that the whole "think about something else" trick is only minimally effective.


I agree tyler1978, no question. 

Through the recommendation of a number of people on this site, I purchased MMSL and have not seen any changes in her because of my different approach/actions. If she has a LD, it's not going to change because of a book. At least not my wife.


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## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> LD women aren't into sex. Period.


You are so right and I wonder all the time what can be done to change this (if anything).


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## easy_e (Sep 11, 2013)

Flyguy said:


> You are so right and I wonder all the time what can be done to change this (if anything).


Divorce them, and then they will F the next like crazy. People don't change if the way it is already favors them.


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## Code-Welder (Dec 17, 2012)

Flyguy said:


> Does sex more often give a man better stamina? By "more often" I mean multiple times a week.


The exercise works and with more sex the more you can edge. Age will also allow you to last longer and have better control. 

But some women can not O from PIV no matter how long you go at it. There are medications that can help if you are having PE issues. it sounds more like lack of sex. Rubbing one off is marginal in helping last longer.

A LD woman is just that, when it comes to sex, women need a reason, men just need a place. Perhaps you may want to work on the reason part. LD in many cases is mental not physical.


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## Paulination (Feb 6, 2012)

If you want to last longer, have a drink or two beforehand. I can last 30 minutes or longer that way. Don't drink enough to be drunk or sloppy, just a little relaxation buzz. It desensitizes things a little but still feels good.


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## Rafters (Sep 18, 2013)

Well I masturbate a lot and tend to have a high sex drive and I've never been known as a quickie. I think maybe I've desensitized myself to the point that I take a while.

Sometimes my wife wishes I'd not take so long. Only some times though. Usually she's pretty pleased with me. 

But only once every two or three weeks? Eeek.


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## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

Rafters said:


> I think maybe I've desensitized myself to the point that I take a while.


If you're going through a dry spell, for whatever reason, you might be thinking, "This sure isn't my ideal of a marriage, so I just want to get this over with so I can relax and get to sleep." If so, you're probably stimulating yourself with a fast rhythm. That might desensitize you a little to partner sex, and you could end up with the reverse problem, "retarded ejaculation," where the slower partner rhythm no longer hits it for you as well.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I think a lot of people have sex around bed time and even though you want to maqke it last,your body is saying it time for sleep so things happen fast and I think some people with kids may face the same probllem because they have a limited amout of time.You want it to last but you mind is think I have things to do. 

I am sure there are guys that can go for a long lomg time,but the majority of people don't don't with just PIV so that is where the other fun stuff comes in. I have been to many swinger clubs and the majority of people are the same.


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## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

Has anyone ever used Promescent? If so, your thoughts on the product....


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Some doctors will occasionally prescribe a very low dose of antidepressant to be taken in advance as an "off-lable" usage. I've heard that this can dramatically help stamina issues. The downside is that you need to be careful with this since anti depressants also frequently have the effect of killing your drive. I think with a low dose and occasional usage, it could be beneficial, but you should talk to a doctor first.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

easy_e said:


> Divorce them, and then they will F the next like crazy. People don't change if the way it is already favors them.


Nothing cures an LD like an MLC, that's funny.

I know of two couples (and know them well enough to know) that the wives were loyal wives who respected their husbands but had lost a previously good sex drive.

In both cases it was business and stress, funny in both cases they were also stay at home moms but very productive in their homes. 

I am no expert here and some people truly are LD but again in both cases they spent time reconnecting in non sexual ways and the situation improved.

If you have read here these can be hard problems to work with.

Curious I just realized that I am addressing LD in a thread that is about stamina. It must be my low thyroid, ha ha.

Maybe this is off topic, sorry. I'm gonna re-read this again after I hit reply, .

Either way I wish you well.


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## Flyguy (Sep 29, 2012)

Decorum said:


> Curious I just realized that I am addressing LD in a thread that is about stamina. It must be my low thyroid, ha ha.


Well, yes it is/was about stamina, but slowly turned to the LD topic because I wondered if maybe my stamina issues were the result of my wife's LD. 

I'm just thinking she might enjoy the parallel action a little bit more if I could keep things going longer than five or so minutes.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

doubletrouble said:


> It'll change as you age, but regular sex will give you better stamina. With an LD wife and 2-3 weeks per event, you may want to occasionally take things into your own hands. *That will also help your prostate stay healthy.* There are lots of good health benefits from regular sex.


Please listen to this advice. PLEASE!

My wife turned low drive and my prostate broke...at the age of 30! Went to the urologist and he didn't believe me when I told him we had sex twice that entire year. He told me my problem was pretty obvious. As a man you physically have to ejaculate or you will have potentially serious prostate issues down the line. Don't become me. Prostate pain is one of the worst things a man can deal with.


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## otayman (Sep 20, 2013)

I had some endurance issues. Found that a "simulator ride" a few hours helps the actual flight last longer.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

easy_e said:


> Divorce them, and then they will F the next like crazy. People don't change if the way it is already favors them.


:iagree:


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

I suffered terribly with PE when I met my wife to be.

I was just so damn eager for it, still am.

It took a long time for me to 'learn' how to hold back. I find that once (if) I beat that initial desire to O then I am fine for a good longish time.

I used many techniques to prolong sex, even simply stopping for a while if I was getting close.
However it felt more natural to disguise the stops by doing something else.
I would change position for instance, and even if you change position while still remaining inside the 20 to 30 seconds used up helps you remove that urge to O.
And even if you find you can only last three/four minutes or so of thrusting, if you incorporate seven positions into your session that is still 20 to 30 minutes of PIV sex which isn't bad and I suspect longer than many people think. When you take that 20 to 30 minutes of PIV into the whole love making session you could be talking of an hour of fun or more.

I've also done kegel exercises and learnt how to 'pinch off' an orgasm, I do not use it now though as I found that doing this made my 'tubes' sore the next day.

Practice and beat the first O by any means possible is my answer.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

Yes, frequent sex will lead to you lasting longer. 

If you want to last longer, "rub one out" earlier in the day, before you have intercourse. 

Also, change positions frequently. Like, if you feel like you are getting close, flip her over and try it from another position/angle.

Try different things, talking dirty, spanking, whatever...mix it up and be spontaneous. 

Get her real close to cumming with foreplay, then have her ride you to finish, or as she's starting to cum from your hand/mouth, enter her to make her orgasm extremely intense.

Make it a goal that you only get to cum AFTER she gets to cum.

If sex is infrequent, it can make it hard to practice techniques, but that should be motivating you to really make the sex incredible....because if you make the sex amazing, she might want to "do it" more often. If you cum in 3 seconds, there's not much enjoyment in it for her. Still, if you do feel it coming on, pull out and finish on her back/belly, then go back to foreplay on her until you are hard again (15 minutes), which can lead to "round two" of intercourse.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

newboomb Turk, from hollwood nights.

anyone remember the scence where he comes befroe he even pulls it out . LOL


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## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

In my case, sex more often definitely increases stamina. If I was only having sex once a week or less, I would have a hard time lasting more than a few minutes. If we do it every other day, I can almost control when I finish and if we do it five straight days I have to talk myself into finishing by day five.

I'm in my late thirties, so this might have some effect also. When my wife gave birth to our last child, we waited six weeks after to have sex. During that time, I got bj's every other day so when we could finally have sex i figured I would be able to have stamina with no worries. It didn't work that way though, I don't know if I lasted 2 minutes that first time we had PIV.

I tell you that because some people will say that beating off will help you increase endurance, but in my experience nothing compares to PIV. Unless I beat off a couple of hours before sex, it won't matter. The only thing that helped me with stamina is age and frequency of sex.

Best of luck and don't be too hard on yourself. (no pun intended)


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

I'm not bragging, I'm just baffled. I can last forever, and I rarely, rarely lose control so I don't cum unless I'm ready to do so. In all my years there was only one woman who could make me lose control. I sometimes think it would be fun to have a makeup that would allow for my female friend to pull me into orgasm without my psychological consent.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

One trick I've always used to help a guy last longer was very simple and white enjoyable for the both of us actually 

As a prelude to our lovemaking Ive always enjoyed giving a very slow and sexy blowjob where i'd finish him off in my mouth! This makes us both very happy unmmmm and more times than not he would last so much longer the '2nd round' when having PIV ;-)


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## Silvr Surfer (Sep 25, 2013)

more frequent sex def improved my control. I feel like I could go on forever sometimes, but can still finish quickly if needed.

In my experience, it feels like it's 90% in my head, when sex wasn't frequent, the fact that "it's happening" just overwhelmed my control, and I would have to pull out or it would be over too quickly (which is a real bummer if you're only getting it infrequently.)

For me, masturbation didn't help, because the intimacy with her was what sent my head reeling. I don't want to assume you arent talking about it with her, but IF you aren't you should be.

But if you have a shot at the BJ thing, you should def go for that, because hey, free BJ.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Vanguard said:


> I'm not bragging, I'm just baffled. I can last forever, and I rarely, rarely lose control so I don't cum unless I'm ready to do so. In all my years there was only one woman who could make me lose control. I sometimes think it would be fun to have a makeup that would allow for my female friend to pull me into orgasm without my psychological consent.


I don't know what's baffling about it.

Some people just naturally last longer some can't.

I have read that whether you are circumcised or not can make a difference.

If you are uncut the head of your penis is protected and more sensitive and if you are cut the head of your penis is slightly desensitised.

Don't know if that is true.


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## pleb (Sep 15, 2013)

Learn to control your breathing, your breaths speed up during orgasm. If you can control your rate of breath, relax, and focus on her body language this should at least help prolong you and possibly get her off first.


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

omgitselaine said:


> One trick I've always used to help a guy last longer was very simple and white enjoyable for the both of us actually
> 
> As a prelude to our lovemaking Ive always enjoyed giving a very slow and sexy blowjob where i'd finish him off in my mouth! This makes us both very happy unmmmm and more times than not he would last so much longer the '2nd round' when having PIV ;-)


Elaine, 

I think my wife needs to start doing just that! The build up from not having sex for 3-4 days is too intense for me. If my wife were to start our lovemaking the way you described I could easily return the favor and give her a good pounding without worrying that I'll cum too soon.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

Maybe if I start drinking pineapple juice....


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Here is one thing I don't understand about the whole stamina argument.
You'll hear women say they like younger men because of their stamina. I can't speak for other men, but to me that is backwards. As a younger man, holding off from orgasm was difficult because it was new and I couldn't control it. Not that I was premature or anything, just had to really concentrate so as not to cum to quickly.

The older I got, the more easily I could hold off. So as a man in my 40's, I have more stamina than I did in my 20's.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

When I was involved with the MILF years ago, we had lots of sex (mainly just on weekends as we lived 100 miles apart) and I could last a long time, even though she was a major turn-on to me (still is if I think back to that time). I think due to the fact that we had lots of sex, I was able to last a long time, plus she liked it when I could keep going (and even go multiple times per session). 

With the wife, who has the drive of a corpse, on the less than annual times that we have sex, I have to work to keep from finishing too fast, although I don't think she would mind if I finished right away, as that would mean she could then go to sleep.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

vellocet said:


> Here is one thing I don't understand about the whole stamina argument.
> You'll hear women say they like younger men because of their stamina. I can't speak for other men, but to me that is backwards. As a younger man, holding off from orgasm was difficult because it was new and I couldn't control it. Not that I was premature or anything, just had to really concentrate so as not to cum to quickly.
> 
> The older I got, the more easily I could hold off. So as a man in my 40's, I have more stamina than I did in my 20's.


Yes, I agree with this.

Age, practice and frequency.

The right genes probably help as well.


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## Aule (Aug 20, 2012)

Almost nobody-has mentioned sensate focus for prolonging control. Last year, my wife used that in conjunction with stop/start help. I had long since the technique of staying motionless and using kegels.

All told, I last about 50 to 100 strokes. That's as long as my wife can keep her legs up due to her arthritis anyway. I usually use my hands or mouth to give her multiple orgasms, though she tells me intercourse does "feel nice." She also likes slow movement better, which is to my advantage as well.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

Everyone is talking about the OPs stamina. What about the fact that he said she never orgasms. Early in my marriage my wife had the same problem but hid it from me by faking them until she got fed up and cut me off. While I figured out what I was doing wrong I became REAL good a fore play and oral, and didn't even worry about getting mine until she had had at least one o. I've heard stats that way that nearly 25% of women can't reach O through normal PIV intercourse. 

OP, if your wife never reaches O and you still get it every few weeks, you are a lucky man to get it at all. And she may not be LD, just fed up with piss poor performance. You need to make sex more about her and less about you. If your still reading this and don't mind giving oral, shoot me a PM. I've got something for you that could help you a lot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

All (ok...all 3!) the girlfriends I met before my wife were HD...we would have sex atleast once a day. I could pump for 20+ minutes (hey come on!! Not bad!). In the early years with my wife it was much the same....but as she became less and less interested in sex and we ended up where we are now; once a month if that, my 'stamina' waned.

Now I am lucky to last 5 minutes. I often wonder why. 
I think its a pschological thing... As males our blueprint is to impregnante the female. I suspect that my problem is that I want to 'plant my seed' quickly because the opportunity is so rare.

If we had a good and fulfilling sex life, like 2-3 times a week, I would like to think that my stamina would return.... But its not going to happen.


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## vptell (Aug 24, 2017)

I have used Promescent with my for the last few years. My urologist actually recommended it, and it was a lot better than anything I tried previously. It super easy to use, and the fact that it doesn't transfer to my wife makes our intimate moments a pleasurable experience for both. I would definitely recommend it. You can go right to their or you can use a store locator on their site.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Zombie thread


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## Volunteer86 (Aug 2, 2017)

As I am getting older I seem to need it less and lasting shorter amount of time. My wife is NOT happy while she has the high SD


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

Meditate and self-talk about the problem may help. If you just want to go from lasting 5 minutes to 8 minutes increased activity may help it. But if you suffer from PE and just can't hold back orgasm at all, it's a medical issue and you may need therapy. It's likely an issue pertaining to self-esteem and performance anxiety.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Zombie thread


 @EleGirl I noticed you did not close this thread but left it open. Is this out curiosity to determine the stamina of zombies?










WAIT A MINUTE, NOT YET! I BET WE CAN SOMEHOW USE THE THUMPING MOTION OF THIS WALKER TO POWER A GENERATOR INDEFINITELY. 

(Sorry, couldn't resist! - Badsanta)


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

badsanta said:


> @EleGirl I noticed you did not close this thread but left it open. Is this out curiosity to determine the stamina of zombies?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Zombies can go forever, but it's the same stilted, mechanical stroke over and over and over... Talk about feeling like you're having sex with the dead!

Oh yeah, and their hygiene really stinks, too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

>

Inquiring minds want to know........ >


{need a zombie smilie. Do zombies smile? So many questions.}


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