# Any successful coming out of the fog stories



## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

If any of you have any successful coming out of the fog stories, please share. Doesn't matter the situation, was it you or your spouse? What was situation and what caused you to see the light and for the fog to clear? Just want to hear some positive stuff for a change. Please share.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

You can see my story in my sig.
It took me about three months to completely get out of the fog. W and I had decided to reconcile, but I couldn't get the OW out of my head. My wife, my sisters and a couple of friends reminded me constantly of what trash she was and how I was about to ruin everything.
Finally, with a lot of help and a lot of prayer, my eyes were opened.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Well, my XW's fog cleared about 8 months after separation. The catch is during my separation, I did not put much effort to stop the A. In other words, she was pretty free to do whatever she wanted to with her OM. With this much freedom from me, the separation helped to clear the fog. 

The problem was, by the time she showed willingness to come back to M, I have completely checked out of my M on my end. I had no feeling whatsoever left for her. Despite her crying, I asked to proceed with D.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

sadcalifornian said:


> Well, my XW's fog cleared about 8 months after separation. The catch is during my separation, I did not put much effort to stop the A. In other words, she was pretty free to do whatever she wanted to with her OM. With this much freedom from me, the separation helped to clear the fog.
> 
> The problem was, by the time she showed willingness to come back to M, I have completely checked out of my M on my end. I had no feeling whatsoever left for her. Despite her crying, I asked to proceed with D.


It seems like that happens alot. I have been praying that God will allow me to still love my wife to prevent it.happening in my case but I just dong know. Its been almost a year with no end in sight but we are still married so I guess until we aren't, there is still a chance. The thing is, I've survived this long without her so I know I can. What I don't know is if I will be just like so many others when reality sets in, GONE.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> The problem was, by the time she showed willingness to come back to M, I have completely checked out of my M on my end. I had no feeling whatsoever left for her. Despite her crying, I asked to proceed with D.


I can't help but to think that was a bittersweet feeling for you.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

marksaysay said:


> It seems like that happens alot. I have been praying that God will allow me to still love my wife to prevent it.happening in my case but I just dong know. Its been almost a year with no end in sight but we are still married so I guess until we aren't, there is still a chance. The thing is, I've survived this long without her so I know I can. What I don't know is if I will be just like so many others when reality sets in, GONE.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am sorry for the sitch you are in. I think each situation is unique and different. In my XW's case, I don't think OM was much of a catch. Also, despite being in fog, she was still somewhat physically attracted to me. 

At any rate, I hope your W come around to her senses soon.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

She's pretty stubborn. While I believe God can do anything, my wife might be the type to accept her negative consequences (I believe there will be some) instead of admit her mistakes, take an honest look at herself, and seek forgiveness and reconciliation. But who knows....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

It's been four months since D-Day (EA) for me and I can say that I have definitely come out of my fog. What knocked me back to reality was the realization of all of the pain and hurt that I had brought to my marriage. Things are still touch and go, with my wife still being very angry with me, but it's coming along. I'm able to sleep at home again, so that's good. 

The only problem now is coping with her anger. I don't know how long it will last, but I'm trying my best to deal with each situation (random outbursts here and there) as best I can and keep a level head. Not really sure where things are going, but it has gotten better.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

tigercat said:


> I can't help but to think that was a bittersweet feeling for you.


Yes, it was bittersweet, but then again, I had two little ones and that makes it more bitter than sweet.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

My fWW came out of the fog within 2 weeks of DDay - after I had come out of the shock and denial and laid down the consequences. This is my second time around and even though the first time happened many years ago with a different wife, I reached the anger stage fairly quickly and used that anger to stiffen my resolve. I put D on the table and she knew I was dead serious about it. I learned that the BS has to be firm concerning consequences to have any hope of R. Otherwise, the the WS is going to stay in the fog - they sure as hell will rarely come out of it on their own.


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