# Marriage in risk maybe due to PE



## nano12 (May 14, 2015)

Let me tell you my story as I need to hear your opinion.
Me and my wife got married 4 years ago after a love story, and everything was just perfect. From early days of our marriage we discovered I have PE -premature ejaculation - (around 30 sec after penetration).
My wife always said she doesn't have any issues and that she is happy with me. I always managed to use my tongue to make her close to orgasm then penetrate so we both can come. This worked for around 70% of the times.

Also sometimes she would come before me and if I last a bit longer she asked me to stop as she is feeling tired and pain as well.

Sometimes she wouldn't come, I used to apologize and offer to look for a doctor for treatment but she always insisted she isn't sad and refuses that I go to a doctor.

I used to push a bit to have sex as most men do. We lived happily and had a kid after 2 years.

After 4 years, she changed dramatically and she told me she feels she doesn't love me anymore. We tried to sort it out she told me she is confused and cannot determine what she really wants, and she is thinking about divorce.

She also stopped sex completely and asked me not to touch her. I went to a doctor to look for a treatment and when I returned home asking her if we can start making love as part of the treatment and to evaluate it. she completely refused and after some talk she told me she thinks she never enjoyed sex with me, when I asked her why did she hide it so long she told me that she wasn't honest with herself, and that she discovered this fact lately.

I asked her to give it a try since I should be cures but she completely refuses, in addition she told me some stories that did hurt her like hearing stories from her girlfriends about how sex is enjoyable and that a friend used to come 3 times which made her jealous.

She is not sure if sex was the reason she started to fall out of love, but it may be one of the reasons.

I am broken, no words can describe how I feel. When I asked to be cured she told me no need, when I went to a doctor she told me I don't want it anymore.

Can this be just temporary because she is feeling bad? Can things return to normal? Or did I hurt her and nothing can solve it.

BTW she is not sure of her feelings she is so confused. She just feel she lost appetite to sex forever and she does know if this is due to bad sex or just due to not loving me anymore. She doesn't accept me to touch her parts even if without making love. However she treats me with respect but she feels she loves me like a brother.
I need your thoughts, I am so down.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Affair.


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## nano12 (May 14, 2015)

I doubted about affair. But I did my investigation and found completely nothing. Also she doesn't dissappear or go to night outings etc.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

And she works were with whom?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

nano12 said:


> I doubted about affair. But I did my investigation and found completely nothing. Also she doesn't dissappear or go to night outings etc.


Describe your investigative methods.

And please don't tell me that you asked her if she was having an affair...



nano12 said:


> Thank you for your reply.
> 
> I rule up cheating yes, our lifestyle has been so repetitive after birth. she stayed at home for 18 months. and started a new job from 6 months (nearly when the problems started) She doesn't go out at night and after work she goes to pick the kid from the nursery. *If she had cheated she would tell me I am sure. She is a direct person and if she wants to leave she will.*
> 
> Regarding postpartum, I hope it could be so. So I will have some hope that everything will return to normal. But the question is, can postpartum depression occur after 2 yrs, and after returning to work?


Outside of that, I suppose it could be PPD.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Describe your investigative methods.
> 
> And please don't tell me that you asked her if she was having an affair.


Seriously because your W has the classic script of an affair in hand.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

First and most likely possibility is an affair. You got the "ILYBINILWY" speech, and she's refusing to even attempt to work with you to fix things. 

Second...is there something else going on that would have her "fall out of love" with you that you're not telling us? Abuse, alcoholism, some excessive neediness, jealousy, or nice guy behavior on your part?

Women don't just up and leave men and strike out on their own after 4 years of marriage because of sexual disfunction. Why would she go from "something" to nothing....assuming all else is good in the relationship? The "why" is almost always that she has another person all lined up and ready to go. Don't be shocked if you dig deeper and discover this. And if I was you I'd be digging real deep right now. WITHOUT ALERTING HER YOU'RE DOING SO. 

As for the PE, have you tried getting your first orgasm, then continuing to work on her while to take a short break to recover, and then go back to PIV after that?


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

In addition to the ILYBINILWY speech, this whole "finding herself" and "not being truthful with herself" is typically more affair rationalization b.s. 

If she works, get a VAR in her car now. If she stays at home, get a couple of them running in the house. You'll find out the truth, whatever it is, in short order. If she's not a total inteovert, she IS talking to someone when you're not around about what's going on.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sounds exactly like an affair.

If she refuses MC and working on your marriage, have divorce papers drawn up.

Marriage takes two. I would bet she is cheating but regardless, she is checked out and if she won't check back in then don't let her play you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You can't cure PE with ONE visit to a doctor!

To cure PE takes a long time of retraining your ejaculatory mechanism. You essentially masturbate just to The Point Of No Return, then back off, then go forward again to TPONR. You do this a few times then allow yourself to ejaculate. It can take weeks to months depending on how often you masturbate and how successful you are at edging yourself.

Sorry but your wife wasn't happy with your performance. Women in love will rarely ever tell their man he sucks in bed. They will pretend it doesn't matter and that they are just content with being held. Bull Sh.....! Now you are feeling what happens when a woman experiences bad sex then loses her sex drive altogether after the birth of a child.

First, get yourself and your PE taken care of. Using the above method you should be able to have penetrative sex for a long as she needs. But it won't matter because she won't get in bed with you.

I doubt she is having an affair, but she is probably considering if there might be other men who might make her happier. I suggest you show her the door. Tell her to make a choice. The marriage or she can go find her dream man. You can't win her back. She has to come back on her own.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

She doesnt have to be having an affair.
I have went through the same thing with my partner since weve been together. It is highly frustrating. Not to mention that he cant get it back up and go once he is finished. 

Sometimes it is frustrating to hear how great of sex lives others have when your partner is getting what he wants then leaving you unsatisfied. 

I can cum just as quick. So if i am not worked up and its going down, haha too bad so sad. 

Have you had sex with her then came and tried to go again?

Is it just as quick when you masturbate?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

bkaydezz said:


> She doesnt have to be having an affair.
> I have went through the same thing with my partner since weve been together. It is highly frustrating. Not to mention that he cant get it back up and go once he is finished.
> 
> Sometimes it is frustrating to hear how great of sex lives others have when your partner is getting what he wants then leaving you unsatisfied.
> ...


Did you give your H the "ILYBNILWY" speech and not let him touch you anywhere even though he was willing to try different things to please you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> bkaydezz said:
> 
> 
> > She doesnt have to be having an affair.
> ...


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

nano12 said:


> I doubted about affair. But I did my investigation and found completely nothing. Also she doesn't dissappear or go to night outings etc.


I'm on the fence about the affair thing. It does seem strange that all of the sudden this is an issue and wasn't for years prior

Is she buying any new clothes?
Changed her look like hair style or makeup?
Recent gym membership or lost weight
All of these can be indicators


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Is her behavior more private? Does she keep her phone with her at all times and protected with a password? Does she close her laptop, tablet, or desktop when you walk in the room? Does she hang up the phone when you show up? All these are usually signs of an affair and you would do well in verifying if these things are happening or not.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

While there are red flags for sure that an affair is possible, it's not a guarantee that one is going on. 

My biggest question in all this is did you try to work on your PE even though your wife told you that everything is fine? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I hope you realize that people will lie about something in order to minimize the pain to someone he/she cares about. The thing is that you need to put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself if 30 seconds of PIV is enough to satisfy her? Most likely not. Was it long enough to satisfy YOU? If not, then why did you not try to improve it?

WHY do people sit on their hands and do nothing to change an issue that they know is a detriment to the marriage until it's almost too late?


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