# what is a soulmate? myth or reality?



## Didi31 (Jun 26, 2017)

many of us go through looking for "the One" the second pea to your pod....the ever elusive soul mate.
but what is a soulmate? is there such a thing? or is it an illusion that stops us from enjoying what we have and who we have. No one is perfect, so when life gives you lemons AKA someone who is good and loves you shall you make lemonade. or will you go on looking for the soulmate, the ideal of who you think you should be with. 
And should you find him, is he everything you wanted? did he sweep you off your feet? or maybe he who gave you lemons was better?


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## Stang197 (Aug 31, 2015)

It's a myth.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It's a myth.

It soulmates were a real thing, that means that there is only one person out of the 6.5 Billion people who are on this earth who is meant for us. And there is no guarantee that this person was even born on the same continent as you were born. Not even that they were born within your lifespan.

Instead there are many people who any one of us could form a good, strong relationship with. And it's up to us to find one of them and appreciate them.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

It is good to find someone you are compatible with and have a special connection--love.

That said, there are billions of people on this planet. Within 100 miles of practically everyone there are a lot of folks who would be a great match.

Does that negate the match you choose? Of course not. Should one just skate from romance to romance endlessly?

I don't think so.

One builds a life with someone in particular. Respect is an element of love. But if you're strictly thinking a set of glands reaching out to another? It's strictly biology attempting to reproduce.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

If you are aware enough you will find your soulmate in the mirror...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

If people want to believe they have a 'soulmate', then they should believe there are many on the planet. Having one soulmate is a myth.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

Soul Mates are a myth and they're always used as a justification for a situation someone is in, such as:

1. Why you haven't found 'the one'.
2. Why you're with 'the one'.
3. Why 'the one' should be with you when they aren't.
4. Why you are with someone who isn't 'the one'.

Anyway, the thought that Soul Mates exist is depressing. Imagine leaving it up to chance that you'd ever meet someone you could truly be compatible with.

Come on, humans aren't all that different from one another. You're bound to find someone.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

There are only mates.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think the idea of a single perfect "soulmate" is a myth, BUT I think it is possible to be in a relationship where both people are very happy long term. Part of that happiness is understanding that your partner will never be *perfect*.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Didi31 said:


> many of us go through looking for "the One" the second pea to your pod....the ever elusive soul mate.
> but what is a soulmate? is there such a thing? or is it an illusion that stops us from enjoying what we have and who we have. No one is perfect, so when life gives you lemons AKA someone who is good and loves you shall you make lemonade. or will you go on looking for the soulmate, the ideal of who you think you should be with.
> And should you find him, is he everything you wanted? did he sweep you off your feet? or maybe he who gave you lemons was better?


Can you have a soulmate without sex entering the equation or does your soulmate also have to be your lover.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

When I think of soulmates, I think of the stories/myths/beliefs you hear from time to time about souls that travel through many lifetimes and always come together somehow in each life they live. Sometimes they are lovers and sometimes they aren't.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

The soulmate exists for those few spectacular moments of dating. Then life happens... 

Nobody meets and just lives happily ever after, life isn't that easy, it's hard and so is real love. It's like anything on this planet, it requires taking care and maintenance to survive, neglect it, ignore it and watch it wither. 

It can still be magical though, you know when you go on a great date night. It can be also magical when you survive a hard day in the big bad world and just have someone hold you, give you kindness. 

But if you married someone who is unwilling to work with you, then perhaps it is time to set them free. Sometimes it's just not meant to be... 

Sent from my F3311 using Tapatalk


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Soul mates are the invention of Hallmark or some other purveyor of modern romantic love. The reality is that there is no such thing. Yes, you may be highly compatible with a person. Usually that high level of compatibility is temporary as both of you will change with every thing you experience. It is possible that you and they may desire to continue to have a relationship despite the high level of compatibility waning over time, but then it is the choice of both. The more likely result is that the relationship will fade away or perhaps even abruptly end once that high level of compatibility is gone. People have many more choices than they had before, they no longer have to live unhappily due to societal pressures and expectations, so more often than not, they simply leave. It is probably the number one reason why gray and silver marriages continue to fail at increasing rates. We are simply outliving the compatibility.


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

Maybe there are many potential "soulmates" that cross paths with us. A soulmate is a person that allows themselves to run together with you. Picture two colors dropped in a beaker of water. The color they produce as they run together into one is the color of your future.

Like the color of the water it is you that decides if it is a pleasant color.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It's a colorful - and very misleading - term for people who find each other highly compatible. There's nothing mystical about it, and a person can have multiple such connections in their lives.


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## Didi31 (Jun 26, 2017)

thats a very good questions. i believe that soulmate could be a friend....


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## Didi31 (Jun 26, 2017)

MrsAldi said:


> But if you married someone who is unwilling to work with you, then perhaps it is time to set them free. Sometimes it's just not meant to be...
> 
> Sent from my F3311 using Tapatalk


thats a great one - i think we choose to make the good and the bad. this is why relationships happen. i think sometimes people get lost in the myth and fairytales and social media.....they think the smiles they see on the outside is what they feel on the inside.
but thats not what happens


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

The concept of a soulmate comes with the implication that there is at least one out there for every person. I think some folks are too broken or evil for this to be a truism.

Can you imagine a soulmate for Kim Jong Un? Albert Fish?

I'm not buying it.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Didi31 said:


> thats a great one - i think we choose to make the good and the bad. this is why relationships happen. i think sometimes people get lost in the myth and fairytales and social media.....they think the smiles they see on the outside is what they feel on the inside.
> but thats not what happens


I read your other thread, you might have been pushed into marriage by your families choice instead of your own. 

Your husband is probably a great man, you probably have an alright marriage, but something isn't right, perhaps there is a lack of real chemistry. Maybe he feels it too? Have you ever discussed it?

Maybe soul mates don't exist, but wanting to be with someone till death is real, I can't imagine being with anyone else other than my husband. The grass isn't greener anywhere else. If you're looking over the fence, time to have a serious chat. 







Sent from my F3311 using Tapatalk


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

The Swans

The young girls, white feathered, supple and strong,
turn the thoughts to pleasures that do so excite
the wave of blush and blood in flight
the joy that awaits into this night.

Their beauty covertly calls my youth to rise
and holds me firm in expectant delight.
Brief tide of memory sweet
now in repose, I do repeat
my pledge of love undying and true
for the gifts bestowed on me by you.

Pleasure is my companion now, 
we'll shape the years as we like somehow.
Your grace, your beauty withers not
the swan like stretch of arm and neck.
The skin touch soft, the mind touch deep,
the fit, the fine, the friendship we keep,
all these and more have into my soul
been passion burned forevermore.

I've lain with you amongst pine combs and sand
on palm filled beaches and before mountains Grande.
Each morn as I awake from all this
I turn toward your face still drunk with night's exotic bliss.
I can not say when the earth will end,
in a million lifetimes or around yon bend.
I fear not the future for this much I know,
you'll be with me and smile even as we go
into that that space where the stars become our brothers, 
hand holding hand
forsaking all others.

In dreams I've cast my shadow
one of fawn like grace in dew.
I did not know I had love complete
'til I gave my love to you.


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

Fozzy said:


> The concept of a soulmate comes with the implication that there is at least one out there for every person. I think some folks are too broken or evil for this to be a truism.
> 
> Can you imagine a soulmate for Kim Jong Un? Albert Fish?
> 
> I'm not buying it.


Adolph had Eva


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## Aspydad (Oct 17, 2013)

I have used this depiction (Soulmate) to describe my wife and me. It all depends on one's definition I would say. To me - it ultimately means I am drawn to my wife due to the person inside (the soul). She has drawn me in, since I met her, and I think this draw is actually mutual - she is drawn to me. It is deeper than mental - it is down to the "Soul". Certainly, in the beginning when she was 18 years old and hot - there was a much more physical appearance draw - same draw or attraction that I got when I looked at 1000 other hot girls - but, there was always that extra draw to her that is very hard to explain - and it has not changed in the 33 years that I have known her. We dated for over four years prior to marriage - the last year we were long distance and I had many temptations from other beautiful women - even my first love who contacted me to see if she could see me. But, at the end of the day - I just knew that if I strayed and she found out - she would end it - fore-ever - and I could not bare that thought as she was and is not only my girlfriend and now wife - but she was / is my best friend who knows me better than anyone else ever could. I am not blind - my wife's physical beauty is going away - but when I look into eyes - she is just as beautiful to me as she was when I first laid eyes on her.

I happen to be a spiritual man - and I could go on and on about the circumstances that brought my wife and me together - but, I will have mercy and not write a book. But, I do believe that there has to be a higher power that brought us together - and that higher power knew that my wife would be mine even before i was born.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Ynot said:


> Soul mates are the invention of Hallmark or some other purveyor of modern romantic love. The reality is that there is no such thing. Yes, you may be highly compatible with a person. Usually that high level of compatibility is temporary as both of you will change with every thing you experience. It is possible that you and they may desire to continue to have a relationship despite the high level of compatibility waning over time, but then it is the choice of both. The more likely result is that the relationship will fade away or perhaps even abruptly end once that high level of compatibility is gone. People have many more choices than they had before, they no longer have to live unhappily due to societal pressures and expectations, so more often than not, they simply leave. It is probably the number one reason why gray and silver marriages continue to fail at increasing rates. We are simply outliving the compatibility.


I don't believe in soul mates, so we agree there.

I disagree that compatibility fades over time due to life experience. I've observed the opposite to be true in the long term (20+ year) marriages I know with one exception. The long term marrieds in my circles tend to spend the majority of their free time with their spouses either socializing together or sharing hobbies together. If anything, they're all becoming more like their spouses than less.

The exception is my MIL and FIL. They were both devout Catholic conservatives when they married, but MIL has become a Secular Humanist over the years and is liberal now. They've been married 60 years this year.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> I don't believe in soul mates, so we agree there.
> 
> I disagree that compatibility fades over time due to life experience. I've observed the opposite to be true in the long term (20+ year) marriages I know with one exception. The long term marrieds in my circles tend to spend the majority of their free time with their spouses either socializing together or sharing hobbies together. If anything, they're all becoming more like their spouses than less.
> 
> The exception is my MIL and FIL. They were both devout Catholic conservatives when they married, but MIL has become a Secular Humanist over the years and is liberal now. They've been married 60 years this year.


First off I used a lot of possibles, maybes, perhaps, sometimes. No absolutes. Regardless of what you may think, the fact is that gray or silver divorces are increasing. In fact they are one of the few age categories where they are increasing. This is due to people changing as the world changes. I am glad you are surrounded by people who might be sticking it out. They may or may not be happy, I was married fro 24 years, we raised two kids together, but guess what, we changed and not in the same way. The standard response when people found out was "Wow, I am so surprised, you guys seemed to be perfect for each other" Stuff happens, agree to disagree all you want, but the reality is that people change.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MJJEAN said:


> I don't believe in soul mates, so we agree there.
> 
> I disagree that compatibility fades over time due to life experience. I've observed the opposite to be true in the long term (20+ year) marriages I know with one exception. The long term marrieds in my circles tend to spend the majority of their free time with their spouses either socializing together or sharing hobbies together. If anything, they're all becoming more like their spouses than less.
> 
> The exception is my MIL and FIL. They were both devout Catholic conservatives when they married, but MIL has become a Secular Humanist over the years and is liberal now. They've been married 60 years this year.


That sounds like an awkward Thanksgiving.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Soulmate is bunk

Relationships are work... no matter who you're with, no matter how compatible, no matter how well aligned. 

Compatibility is real, and it is important, but that's a long way from "soul mate."


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Ynot said:


> First off I used a lot of possibles, maybes, perhaps, sometimes. No absolutes. Regardless of what you may think, the fact is that gray or silver divorces are increasing. In fact they are one of the few age categories where they are increasing. This is due to people changing as the world changes. I am glad you are surrounded by people who might be sticking it out. They may or may not be happy, I was married fro 24 years, we raised two kids together, but guess what, we changed and not in the same way. The standard response when people found out was "Wow, I am so surprised, you guys seemed to be perfect for each other" Stuff happens, agree to disagree all you want, but the reality is that people change.


Grey divorce is a thing, but it's a mistake to assume that those divorces are long marriages. A lot of senior divorces are 2nd or even 3rd marriages. According to some articles I've read, the theory is that people in late middle age married or remarried from a smaller pool of prospects, some of them settled, and now that they are likely to live into their 80's have decided to un-settle. Also, these people are from a different time. The social stigma of divorce has been removed and we have no-fault. Now that seniors aren't worried about being shunned or having their adult children hate them, they're willing to do what they would have done decades ago had it been legally and socially possible.

Once this batch of seniors is done, I expect the numbers of divorcing seniors will drop dramatically.

Most of the marrieds I am acquainted with are people I'm related to or friends since HS. We're the kind of people who will just say it. We've all had a few drinks, played some cards, and talked about the dirty bits of life regularly. Is everyone happy all the time? No. That's not possible in reality. Are they happy in general? Yes. Otherwise, they'd divorce. Most of us have had short, bad, first marriages and divorced before. None of us are in an income bracket where a divorce would be a drawn out financial disclosure asset division money sink. Most of us have kids that are grown and gone or will be within a year or two, so staying for the kids isn't a factor. And there seems to be a very casual attitude toward divorce. As in, "Oh, Hell, if I XYZ, I'd just divorce and move on!" Around here, there literally isn't a reason to stay unless you want to be there.

Yes, people change over the years. I know I have and so has everyone I know. The difference between changing and growing together or apart seems to be a combination of compatible core personalities (the things that don't change) and spending far more time together than separately. 




Fozzy said:


> That sounds like an awkward Thanksgiving.


Not at all! We live in MI. My in-laws have lived in FL since before I met DH.v :grin2:

Seriously, though, they're super sweet to each other. They're always together, touch frequently, and I've never heard them argue with each other or even heard about them arguing. DH is the youngest of 5 by a large margin. He was a late life baby. He never heard his parents argue growing up, either, and theorizes they worked out the bugs before he was even born.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> Grey divorce is a thing, but it's a mistake to assume that those divorces are long marriages. A lot of senior divorces are 2nd or even 3rd marriages. According to some articles I've read, the theory is that people in late middle age married or remarried from a smaller pool of prospects, some of them settled, and now that they are likely to live into their 80's have decided to un-settle. Also, these people are from a different time. The social stigma of divorce has been removed and we have no-fault. Now that seniors aren't worried about being shunned or having their adult children hate them, they're willing to do what they would have done decades ago had it been legally and socially possible.
> 
> Once this batch of seniors is done, I expect the numbers of divorcing seniors will drop dramatically.
> 
> ...


I didn't assume anything. Read your own post, even if they weren't long marriages they may have been SECOND or THIRD marriages. This then, would imply that they had reached the point of incompatibility, whether after a long time with one person or at various other points in time with others. See they grew apart.

Secondly, as I said before, that is great you and your friends are in a good place. I think it is great that you think everyone is being honest and open about where they are. But many people put on brave faces and pretend things to be what they aren't. As I said, without exception no one could believe my ex and I were divorcing. They all thought it was a joke at first. They all were surprised. Had I been asked before she left, I would have had the same smug attitude you are now displaying.

People change, including those "core personalities". We are a product of our life experiences. Experience changes who we are, what we think, how we think and feel. Experience shapes our personalities, there is no such thing as an unchanging core. Yet I see all the time where people try to avoid change mainly by avoiding new experiences. The problem with that is that your partner may not share the same fear and eventually those new experiences will change them.

It took me a whack upside the head to become the person I am now.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I used to think it was a reality. I have learned it's a myth


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

urf said:


> Maybe there are many potential "soulmates" that cross paths with us. A soulmate is a person that allows themselves to run together with you. Picture two colors dropped in a beaker of water. The color they produce as they run together into one is the color of your future.
> 
> Like the color of the water it is you that decides if it is a pleasant color.


I think this is a beautiful metaphor.

I don't believe that we have soulmates, in the way that there is one person out there who is perfect for you and will complete you. There are too many people in the world for that to be logical; statistically, very few people would ever meet their soulmate, given population density and the fact that so few people travel outside of their own country.

BUT

I do believe that in nurturing a healthy relationship with a partner who is highly compatible, two people can grow into soulmates together. I believe that process takes a long time, and it requires a great deal of patience, maturity, and empathy.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think the term is usually used for romantic relationships. For most (but not all) people, sex is an important part of a romantic relationship, so for most a soul mate would also have to be a lover. 



Andy1001 said:


> Can you have a soulmate without sex entering the equation or does your soulmate also have to be your lover.


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## Ghost Rider (Mar 6, 2017)

I used to believe in it, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary - until my wife had an affair and called him her soulmate. I guess that was the final straw. I think my sense of romance is pretty much defunct at this point.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

urf said:


> Maybe there are many potential "soulmates" that cross paths with us. A soulmate is a person that allows themselves to run together with you. Picture two colors dropped in a beaker of water. The color they produce as they run together into one is the color of your future.
> 
> Like the color of the water it is you that decides if it is a pleasant color.


That is a beautiful metaphor just as FIP has stated. And there in lies the truth, Metaphors are not reality. Life is not a sterile beaker of water.. Rather it is a roaring stream. And so, while the two colors may fall into the stream together to form the beautiful color that represents your PRESENT, eventually the colors are diluted and/or distributed elsewhere, some may coalesce on vegetation in the water or along the bottom, some may evaporate into the sky and in the end you have the roaring waters of the stream forever tumbling.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

I once knew someone who was my soulmate. I'm not religious, superstitious, mystical or spiritual. We had known each other for several years and seemed to have a knack of picking up whatever the other was thinking. One day our hands touched and it was so electric. Suddenly we both felt as though we had known and loved each other forever. Sadly we were not free so we resolved to break all contact for the sake of our families.
Love ain't always that wonderful despite what poets might have us believe.


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## Dannip (Jun 13, 2017)

As they say...

Are YOU "soulmate" material???

Be the right person and you'll find the right person.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

I submit that some of you are so scared shytless that "soulmate" has religious implications that you might unknowingly agree with that you take the term too literally and automatically strike it down as bogus. It "Fs" too much with your paradigm. Soulmates exist because there are some people that are light years more compatible that anyone of thousands of others you meet. Having them in you life magnifies the essence of you as a living being. Others, you just like the way they look, want to F them, and think they'll make you happy because they give you an erection or make you wet your pants.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Two people build into soulmates they don't luck upon them.


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## Lukedog (Nov 18, 2015)

I think there is a soulmate out there for everyone. You just have to find them. I have a friend who has been married to her husband for over 20 years. She always describes them meeting and their Date and that she "was smacked in the face". She said she went home that night and told her mother....that is the man I am going to marry. Having a soulmate is so much deeper than just having good communication.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

It is fact if you believe the only person in the world for you just happens to live near you rather than any other place in the world. Did you know that 50% of soulmates end up divorced? I guess that like shoes, souls get worn down after a lot of wear and need to be replaced. :grin2:


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

twoofus said:


> I once knew someone who was my soulmate. I'm not religious, superstitious, mystical or spiritual. We had known each other for several years and seemed to have a knack of picking up whatever the other was thinking. One day our hands touched and it was so electric. Suddenly we both felt as though we had known and loved each other forever. Sadly we were not free so we resolved to break all contact for the sake of our families.
> Love ain't always that wonderful despite what poets might have us believe.


See what you describe there would not be what I would use as and example of the definition of soulmate to me. What you describe I would call very strong attraction or chemistry. In my mind you can have that kind of thing in platonic relationships as well. Like when you meet a person and you have exactly the same interests and sense of humor. It's like you have known them forever. Doesn't have to be sexual or romantic, it's just really good chemistry. 

Anyway this is kind of the problem with the question. Soulmate means different things to different people right?


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## Broadsword (Jun 24, 2017)

Didi31 said:


> many of us go through looking for "the One" the second pea to your pod....the ever elusive soul mate.
> but what is a soulmate? is there such a thing? or is it an illusion that stops us from enjoying what we have and who we have. No one is perfect, so when life gives you lemons AKA someone who is good and loves you shall you make lemonade. or will you go on looking for the soulmate, the ideal of who you think you should be with.
> And should you find him, is he everything you wanted? did he sweep you off your feet? or maybe he who gave you lemons was better?


You will know, for it will hit you upside the head and make it spin. You will know, that you know, that you know.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

FeministInPink said:


> I think this is a beautiful metaphor.
> 
> I don't believe that we have soulmates, in the way that there is one person out there who is perfect for you and will complete you. There are too many people in the world for that to be logical; statistically, very few people would ever meet their soulmate, given population density and the fact that so few people travel outside of their own country.
> 
> ...


I much appreciate this post...and the "BUT"... I have thought & read much about the whole "soul mate" thing.. why people use the word... it's often used haphazardly... way too early, often in the infatuation stage of a new romance that ends up fizzling badly 
even....it has become more of a JOKE... overly used... but still the "spirit" of it is what I am going to focus on in this post..

My husband has always called me his "soul mate"... . it's not like I want to correct him trying to adjust his thinking...wouldn't this be like throwing cold water in his face.... I see it as a *"term of endearment"* to how one deeply feels about another...how much they mean to them.. how they want to share everything with them.. they love to spend time with them...there is none or few to compare (in our hearts)...the test of time bares this out.. 

I see THIS aspect more so - over getting caught up on the black & white definition of how there is ONLY ONE and ONLY ONE person MEANT FOR US or we are doomed.. we missed our soul mate.. this is obviously not truth, not logical given the billions of people/ personalities we could find love & Compatibility with.... even the most unique, difficult & particular among us... such a belief can also lead to this : 










There is always the potential to find another Love if our greatest love died.. (thankfully).... so yeah.. this would be wrong... but still the union, the JOY we feel with another who has brought so much to our lives... we feel as "one"....

A poster left this on a thread yrs back here - to what the word means to her ....I found it beautiful.....


LadyDee said:


> A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet -- a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior.
> 
> Your soul mate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.












This was my explaining why the definition is wrong... but again.. I don't have a problem with the SPIRIT of the word.. 



> For many yrs I used the term *Soulmate* in talking about my husband.....cause I always felt I found mine....(He still uses it in regards to me- I'm not going to yell at him for this)....
> 
> But one night yrs ago now.... I caught this Christian Marriage Counselor on TV ....talking about this concept/belief..... and how it has the potential to HURT many marriages...
> 
> ...


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

It is a myth, marriage or living together is hard work once the buzz has worn off.
Two flawed individuals living in close proximity 24/7 of course it is a myth!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

There was a thread here yrs back where this man thought he found his soul mate in just 2.5 weeks!







) http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/165458-think-i-met-my-soul-mate.html

In my googling, searching for a decent article to help him see reality.. I stumbled upon this .....one of the best I've read where the word can still be used... once it's been tested by time, challenged by shared trials / overcoming - giving it the honor it deserves... written by John Gray, the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus ....

I understand many simply hate the word.. would never use it.. I just found this article more balanced ..








...Soulmates: Myth or Reality? ...









Some parts of the article.. I am skipping ...it is LONG.. but wanted to highlight some things.... 



> ...*Most People Dream about Having a Soulmate...
> But Few Turn the Dream into a Reality*
> 
> The idea of a soulmate has both conscious or unconscious elements. Even if we do not intellectually believe in soulmates, we are still affected.
> ...


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Dug has always said we are soulmates. He also says, and I believe, that he loves me unconditionally.

I said this recently on a thread and many people were pretty aggressively against it. 

If you have a good marriage, where both of you basically feel good together and are more or less in harmony most of the time, these ideas may not seem outlandish. 

Now, does that mean they are true, beyond any doubt? Not sure. 

Do they feel true enough that they could be accepted without too much questioning? Yes, I think so. But it might have to be by other people who have also known the depth of peace there can be in a highly compatible relationship.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

aine said:


> It is a myth, marriage or living together is hard work once the buzz has worn off.
> Two flawed individuals living in close proximity 24/7 of course it is a myth!


What if it does not feel like hard work?

What if things just seem to flow?

What if, no matter what frustrations you have, your spouse is committed, no matter what?

What if, no matter how frustrated you get, you are still drawn to him, and feel safe under his wing?

What if it seems like you two are just meant to be together?


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