# How is the money handled?



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

For those who both work, how is the money handled in your family?

- Is it all put together in one account, or do you each have an account?
- Do you have certain bills that each of you pay?


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## Chelhxi (Oct 30, 2008)

We keep most things separate. We split joint bills 50/50, and then each spend and save as we see fit with the remainder.

This is mostly because we got married when we were older (31) and both already had assets and were used to managing our own money. We're both "savers" too, so never have to worry how the other one is managing their money.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Since day 1 working or not we always put the money together. We've been married 20 years and I pay all the bills.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

We met young. Everything is combined. Generally speaking, I make sure the bills are paid but we both take responsibility for certain aspects.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I was just curious as to how my x and I did it. My marriage failed, so I can't say this is a great plan, but it seemed to work at the time.

- we both had separate accounts, although both names were on the accounts. We married young but already had accounts, so we just kept them. It's wasn't a hands off policy, but we managed our own money that we made.

- I made the house payment, all the monthly bills, car payments, and misc. bills., and put money in savings.

- She bought groceries, misc. household items(what we called the Wal-Mart bill), and bought most of the kids clothes. 

I know a lot of people pool the money. we found it easier to have our own accounts. We could buy what we wanted and not feel guilty.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

southbound said:


> I was just curious as to how my x and I did it. My marriage failed, so I can't say this is a great plan, but it seemed to work at the time.
> 
> - we both had separate accounts, although both names were on the accounts. We married young but already had accounts, so we just kept them. It's wasn't a hands off policy, but we managed our own money that we made.
> 
> ...


I'll be honest and explain how we ended up combining. I've always been a good saver. This hasn't been his strong point. We moved in together after a fairly short time and had separate accounts. I ended up having a tally on the fridge of what he owed me. I wasn't earning more than him, I just was better with finances. Although we both contributed to the rent and bills back then, I'd often lend him small amounts. I kept his tally on the fridge so it was visible to him and then helped him manage his funds so he could reimburse me. It wasn't that I needed the money back, it was more about the discipline. He'd never been taught the concept of saving. I also suggested he put his credit card in the freezer back then too. He did this and it helped curb unnecessary spending of money he didn't have.

When he had more awareness of financial responsibility, we closed our individual accounts and combined everything.

Over the years, I've tried to demonstrate how to save and budget and he has improved a lot. He's also helped me to loosen the purse strings when needed. We usually strike a balance between us.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

HB, 

You are doing a great job!  I wonder where you come from! 

I don't know why, my husband just trusted me from day one he met me! 

He even let me look after his money before we got married. He put his money at my place! 

While we were dating, my husband knew that I wasn't a big spender and I was always responsible with money! 

After we got married, our money were put together officially, my husband insisted on that. He thinks that a couple should combine everything together, there is no yours or mine, there is only ours! A few times I wanted to separate our money, he firmly said NO and he said that there is no argument! 

He lets me look after the finance, every month he gives his salary to me but we go to the bank and deposit money together. I make decisions for small purchases, when there are big purchases, he makes the final decision, but he always takes my words into consideration. Actually when we buy something, we are always together, everything is transparent. At the end of the month, I tell him how much money we have saved! 

I think trust is important for a couple, but if you want to gain the trust, you have to show responsibility and commitment first!


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

All in one account and I handle everything spending money, bills, retirement, large purchases etc etc.

She makes a little less than me, but good money none the less. I give her a allowance every week, but as "masculine" as all of that sounds she get's whatever she wants. 

I'm a 100% Nice Guy too  for the Alpha vs Nice Guy debate types.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

We've had three accounts since we were engaged. His, mine and ours. We each put money into the joint account and I pay all of the common bills (HOA, utilities, insurance, etc.) from that account. He pays the house payment from his account, I buy the great majority of the groceries/household items from my account. We're each responsible for our own savings and debt (car payments, student loans, credit cards) and contribute equally to most common activities like vacations, etc.

Like one of the previous posters mentioned, we were older when we met and it just seemed easier to keep going as we'd always done than to change everything when it was working just fine.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Together more than 25 years. We have always had separate checking, savings, credit cards.... We have signature on each others accounts as well as passwords. Each of us has assigned expenses and take care of our own credit card bills. If some one is a little short on something, the other takes care of it. We are both like minded in our use of credit being very conservative. We have no CC debt and a mortgage that will be paid off in a few years. In our time together we have had exactly one argument about money so this works well for us. Agreement on where to spend the money is key.


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## lostworld (Dec 29, 2011)

We are not even married for 3 years. For 2.5 years of them she was dependent on me, but our finances have been straightforward. 

When I was the only earner, we still had the joint account. Now, she has her own salary account but my salary account is still a joint account. We never think of money as her money or mine. While I pay most of the bills and the rent, Sometimes she insists on putting paying her account for direct debits which I think is good too, because i know it gives her the same satisfaction that i seek in spending for us.

We have a tight tab on our savings, and usually plan all our big spends in advance and prioritize them in terms of importance.
We avoid taking credit like plague, and mostly use our credit cards for travel (as thats one thing we love). However, we also go out and like having a good time without curtailing on the fun.

To be frank I love being the provider for my family, and like to spend for it. But, at the same time I derive a lot of comfort that should something happen to me or my job, my wife can easily support without any stress.

At the end of the day, we both respect money and have come from families noticing our parents struggle to keep up. In the past, there have been occassions when the inflow was tight, but we faced those challenges by limiting our spending too.


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## Hacker (Jul 14, 2014)

We have one bank account that both our checks go into. But I run the budget and pay the bills.

I do have other accounts that she has no access to, like my 401k and money market account.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

southbound said:


> For those who both work, how is the money handled in your family?
> 
> - Is it all put together in one account, or do you each have an account?
> - Do you have certain bills that each of you pay?


We have 3 bank accounts and 3 credit cards. 

They're all in both names. 

DH deposits his checks into one account and that's where our mortgage auto drafts from bi-weekly. our mortgage is pretty low so he does accumulate a lot of money in that account which is periodically deposited into the savings account. 

He's in charge of that account and I'm in charge of the 2 others plus the credit cards. We auto pay all other bills on our reward cards and I pay them off monthly with what I've deposited into our checking account each pay day. Anything left over gets put into savings. The credit cards never carry a balance over 30 days. We want the rewards...we don't want to pay interest LOL

We discuss all purchases other than necessities and clothing purchases which we're usually together when buying so it doesn't need a discussion. 

I love the way we do things. We never fight about money and always have plenty of it saved. Each person feels needed and equally important.

ETA we also have our retirement accounts and 401k but those deposits get made automatically so we dont really need to discuss them.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good afternoon all
We combine all our income into a single account, and various investments. Share credit cards etc. Over time our relative incomes have changed a lot and this works much better for us than each paying our own. 

Then we have a "fun money" budget". We each get an amount to spend on anything. We track in a spreadsheet and keep a separate account to make sure that the person who has spent less can get at the money they are "owed" if they need to. Over many years this can be a quite substantial sum.

Thinks we do together are paid out of the joint account. Nobody questions charges on credit cards except to make sure that they were not fraudulent. 

Everyone can see all the accounts. I do the weekly bills, My partner does the yearly taxes. We've never had a serious dispute over money.


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