# There is hope, first BJ after 7 years of waiting.



## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

If you have not had a blowjob for a bunch of years, don't give up all hope.

I didn't keep track of the exact date, I didn't know it was so important at the time, but somewhere around 7 years ago I got my last blowjob. 

I read about keeping yourself clean, and doing more housework and bla bla bla, which for my case was a complete waste of time because I already do all that.

So it seems to me the key factors are that my wife went on a trip without me for a few months, I think this allowed her to really see how other people live and what it was like when I am not around to do things for her. If we had not had this break I think nothing would have changed.

Then when she got back she wanted to see a show in Las Vegas, which was not unusual. So I bought the plane and show tickets. Then right before we left we were getting along pretty good so I suggested that if she liked the show maybe I could get a reward in the way of a BJ. She thought about it and kind of made a joke that if it was a good show then I would get one. 
In the past she has done this more times than I can count, she promises then never delivers, so I just figured this is one more empty promise and not a big deal.

She agreed the show was fantastic but after the show I asked about collecting and she says she is too tired which is what I expected so I didn't say anything. The next night at the hotel I kind of said something like your probably too tired again right? and she said something that struck me as odd, she said something like I am too tired to do a good job, or something like that?
The next few nights I made some comment about how I didn't really expect a BJ that only a well rested person could do.

Anyway, we get back home and she wants this outrageously priced purse and I have never done this before but I said if I buy the purse then I really deserve that amazing blowjob that can't be done by someone who is a little tired, but only by someone who is really well rested. We laughed about it but I kept making a big deal about it and I bought the purse.
That night I got a pretty amazing blowjob.

She already had the trip and the purse, and she has promised many times before under similar situations and just never delivered. But I think being away for a while made the difference.
I made some joke that she should look for another purse, and the next day she says she wants the same purse in two other colors, so I buy those and get another great blowjob.

The next day she tells me that her sister-in-law really wants one of the purses, and I said does she know how you are paying for those purses? We both had a really good laugh.

Since then I have received 5 more blowjobs, and I just need to figure out how to keep this lucky streak going because she said she doesn't want any more purses right now.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

So, she is basically acting like a prostitute at this point.

You seem cool with that, so rather than fighting it, why not just turn it up a few notches.

Stuff a wad of cash down her pants and see how she reacts.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

It could be horrible or awesome depending on how you execute it.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Your whole success is based on transactions rather than needs. You are getting what you want but the whole thing is Pavlovian in nature. On the positive, you've gotten her to reengage in something that has been missing for a long time. Time to take advantage of the momentum and make sure that she understands why this is important to you and your expectations. My sex life only improved after years of struggle when I quit begging, bartering and mopping about/for sex.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

So your advice is pester her with borderline passive aggressive comments and buy her stuff?


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

She doesn't have any need for money, so I don't think offering it would work.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Have you ever had an actual conversation with her about why she has had an aversion to it?


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

Amplexor said:


> Your whole success is based on transactions rather then needs. You are getting what you want but the whole thing is Pavlovian in nature. On the positive, you've gotten her to reengage in something that has been missing for a long time. Time to take advantage of the momentum and make sure that she understands why this is important to you and your expectations. My sex life only improved after years of struggle when I quit begging, bartering and mopping about/for sex.


That transaction part is what has me puzzled, you could say I am paying dollars for sex, but it's more like this...
you go to a hooker and pay her fee and ask if she wants to have sex, she says no and you leave, you do this everyday for 7 years. Then one day you pay the hooker the money and ask for sex and she has sex with you, my question is this, for 7 years you paid the money for nothing, so was it really about the money the last time when you get the sex?

I ask my wife what I can do for her and she says "nothing" my hope was that she would say ok do this or that and I could find something she liked. Everything I do for her now is just expected.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Yeah, to me if you have to trade and then ask for the "reward" (several times even) what's the point? I guess, I get it. I was in a low sex marriage for a long time and sometimes something is better than nothing.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

BeenThereBefore said:


> That transaction part is what has me puzzled, you could say I am paying dollars for sex, but it's more like this...
> you go to a hooker and pay her fee and ask if she wants to have sex, she says no and you leave, you do this everyday for 7 years. Then one day you pay the hooker the money and ask for sex and she has sex with you, my question is this, for 7 years you paid the money for nothing, so was it really about the money the last time when you get the sex?
> 
> I ask my wife what I can do for her and she says "nothing" my hope was that she would say ok do this or that and I could find something she liked. *Everything I do for her now is just expected*.


Then STOP DOING IT.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

BeenThereBefore said:


> I ask my wife what I can do for her and she says "nothing" my hope was that she would say ok do this or that and I could find something she liked.


Again, you are bartering for sex. You are begging to be rewarded for good behavior. Your are not giving her your expectations. You've let her become a gate keeper instead of a wife and lover.





BeenThereBefore said:


> Everything I do for her now is just expected.


As a blowjob from her should be if you let her know "it's expected"!


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Maybe she is turned on by the explicitness of the exchange. That is why I suggested you make it even more explicit.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

So in order to get a BJ every decade you need to

Pay lots of money
Beg
Constantly negotiate


It's your marriage bro. I get several a month and never do any of these things.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

Clicked this thread thinking the OP had found the 'secret' to getting BJ's.










I want my click back.


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## seattle_stranger (Nov 4, 2014)

I don't think it's ever appropriate for a man to "request" sexual favors, and it's even worse for him to pay tangible prices for said asks. As said above, she's basically a prostitute at this point. It really sounds like you're going about it all wrong. Seriously? You ASK for blowjobs, and not just ask, you actually PESTER about it? Dude...

Question: When's the last time you gave HER oral? AND made her orgasm?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

BeenThereBefore said:


> If you have not had a blowjob for a bunch of years, don't give up all hope.
> 
> I didn't keep track of the exact date, I didn't know it was so important at the time, but somewhere around 7 years ago I got my last blowjob.
> 
> ...


*Damn! Now that makes me want to immediately get into the purse buying trade!*


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

BeenThereBefore said:


> If you have not had a blowjob for a bunch of years, don't give up all hope.





BeenThereBefore said:


> I suggested that if she liked the show maybe I could get a reward in the way of a BJ.





BeenThereBefore said:


> I said if I buy the purse then I really deserve that amazing blowjob





BeenThereBefore said:


> I kept making a big deal about it and I bought the purse.
> That night I got a pretty amazing blowjob.





BeenThereBefore said:


> next day she says she wants the same purse in two other colors, so I buy those and get another great blowjob.





BeenThereBefore said:


> Since then I have received 5 more blowjobs, and I just need to figure out how to keep this lucky streak going because she said she doesn't want any more purses right now.















BeenThereBefore said:


> But I think being away for a while made the difference.



Yes, somebody taught her to turn tricks for goods. 

You better hope it was another woman giving her verbal advice and not something she practiced.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I hope she swallowed atleast!


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

If my husband asked for a blow job like you did, he'd never get one!! You sound like a little kid asking for an ice cream cone. What a turn off.


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## seattle_stranger (Nov 4, 2014)

karole said:


> If my husband asked for a blow job like you did, he'd never get one!! You sound like a little kid asking for an ice cream cone. What a turn off.


Seriously. It sounds like his wife (whom clearly has no respect for him) is having fun with it. Watch, after she gets tired of this game or it stops working, she'll serve the divorce papers she's been sitting on this whole time.

Buck up, man.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Hmmm. What is the proper way to let your wife know you want a blowjob without asking?

That's a bit strange to me that asking is a turn off. I mean I guess I get it, but I would love to hear my wife say "will you go down on me?"


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

So, um, she learned a few tricks on this months long vacation?


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## seattle_stranger (Nov 4, 2014)

I Don't Know said:


> Hmmm. What is the proper way to let your wife know you want a blowjob without asking?
> 
> That's a bit strange to me that asking is a turn off. I mean I guess I get it, but I would love to hear my wife say "will you go down on me?"


It's different from men->women than women->men. Men are supposed to be the dominant alpha, we don't ask for things. We earn them by being a good man and husband, and a good wife gives them on a frequency that she's figured out works for both of them. Asking for it upsets this entire balance and makes the man seem insecure if he's "asking" for things. I can't say I've ever requested one, oddly enough she seems to just know when it's on my mind, it's friggin' freaky. :scratchhead: During sex/foreplay, though, there's nothing wrong with assuming the position and letting her just reach out and perform the act. I couldn't ever fathom walking up to her in the kitchen or whatever and being all like "Umm, babe? Can you give me some head?" and then furthermore I couldn't imagine the awkwardness of the rest of the day after she says "Uhh, no."

Back to the alpha thing, when women ask their men for things, it can be a turn on and a reassurance for both parties. Men need to feel needed, like we are supporting our women, being their lifeline, their provider, their rock, even if the woman is very independent. She needs to feel that way about her man too, that he is a rock solid protector and provider. So if she was to come up to me and blatantly ask for a sexual favor, I'd be hard pressed to think of something more important to do at that very moment. Then after all was said and done, think about the satisfaction a man would feel knowing his wife had this thought enter her head, it turned her on, she asked you for help, you delivered a great orgasm, and now she fell asleep, you'd feel pretty high and mighty would you not? Now the other way around, if a woman was approached, asked for a sexual favor, she delivered, and now he's asleep, I'm sure she'd feel kinda used. 

Mars and Venus, ya know?


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

Anon1111 said:


> Maybe she is turned on by the explicitness of the exchange. That is why I suggested you make it even more explicit.


That is an interesting idea that I had not thought of, and it would answer the question why things were different this time...

To the others I am just confused, I should go sit quietly in the corner and wait for someone to come and have sex with me without saying anything or offering anything?


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

BeenThereBefore said:


> That is an interesting idea that I had not thought of, and it would answer the question why things were different this time...
> 
> To the others I am just confused, I should go sit quietly in the corner and wait for someone to come and have sex with me without saying anything or offering anything?


I was being totally serious.

Now I do think this has the potential to backfire if you don't do it in a solid way.

You need to own the interaction like you already have established a common understanding about what this all means.

Try this: next time she mentions she needs something material, call her over, hold her around the waist and hold some cash in the other hand in between your two faces. Look her straight in the eyes and say, you can get that, but I need something from you in return.

Now you know and she knows she doesn't really need your permission to buy something. It could just be a gallon of milk that you're talking about. 

This is just a little game. Say with confidence with a slight smirk-- make it flirtatious. The point is to draw her into to this interaction deeper. 

Give her the money one way or another. If she just takes it in her hand, fine. Maybe you stuff it into her pocket for her. If you sense she is really into this, be more aggressive with where you put it.

Then tell her this is just a downpayment and you will give her the rest when she delivers tonight.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

This seems like a very dangerous game. I can see it being fun once in a great while, but as the only way to get a bj from your wife? Not good.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Somehow, this does not sound good. What happens when you run out of things that she wants? I think you should tell her that the bj were fun but you would rather have reciprocal loving. What do you think? You know your wife so why do you think there is this sudden change? Is it possible that she is guilty about something she did during her time away from you? Honestly, it sounds as if she is using you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

BeenThereBefore said:


> That is an interesting idea that I had not thought of, and it would answer the question why things were different this time...
> 
> To the others I am just confused, I should go sit quietly in the corner and wait for someone to come and have sex with me without saying anything or offering anything?


Don't get too down from the comments. Marriage is all about communications. Thanks for posting that spouses can do things and change. That does offer hope.

While I think it is very important for H&W to communicate and especially about their needs, sexual desires and wants, each couple has to figure out how that best works in their marriage, but at some point it really should be verbalized. So congratualation for having the courage to verbalize what you have longed for to your W. 

Hopefully it sounded better in person than what you posted. 

At least in my household my wife and I joke about what she can purchase and what I can purchase. All our money goes into the same bank accounts and comes out to pay the bills, so it really doesn't matter who pays for what. So the whole prostitute illusion may be a bit overblown, depending on how your finances are run. As to pestering, that isn't good, so hopefully there was some light hearted kidding. 

I can see where if one partner wants a material thing that is not in the budget and still wants it that asking to reprioritize some of the spending is reasonable. While tying it to sex isn't great, I know that my wife has tied some things or made them happen after a great steak dinner. Not sex, but still "buying" a vote on priorities.

Good luck. Do a few things to possitively surprise her and get her a few presents with no expectations and she may keep surprising you.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

I can't recall a single time I've asked my W for a bj, and certainly never bargained for or "purchased" one from her. Sometimes she'll joke to the effect of "i'll give you a bj if....". I will usually come back with something like "i'll let you give me one if..."

If she (any woman) doesn't want to give them, I won't ask for them. BUT, it is a deal breaker for me. Told her that very early on in a roundabout way (talking about how my ex never gave them, and I'd never be with someone again who had an aversion to it because to me it was a sign of other worse things to come). 

I want a woman to WANT to give them as a pleasurable thing for them! That starts and ends in their head. 

I've had a dry spell of a month or so from time to time, and may have made a comment a time or two, but that's it. A "is everything ok, because that hasn't happened in a while, and I want to know if anything is wrong" type of thing. 

Reciprocation can go a long way as well. I usually don't let a week or so go by without catching her when she gets out of the shower (when she's most "comfortable" with receiving), tossing her on the bed, and going down on her. When she's finished and has her O, I go about what I was doing before I accosted her, lol. Nothing for me...just doing for her. She loves that stuff! And I believe it makes her very willing to return the favor. And the awesome cycle repeats, and repeats, and... you get the idea. 

Ask (or at least to ask often after rejection) or god forbid beg, bargain, or negotiate for a bj? No thanks, I like them too much, and that's a sure way to make them stop!

We have made bets (over whatever), where i'll usually wager for something like "a bj at a time and place of my choice". I've won about 20 of those over the years, and have only called those in a couple times. Then only if I she's hinting, or feeling sexy, we're obviously wanting each other, and it can add excitement to what's to come (bj in car on way home, in a car wash, lol, or in some naughty place). Other than that, I sure don't "wager" for them outside of fun I usually never intend to cash in on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

OP, this thread probably did not go according to your plan. That being said, what are you thinking? You let your wife take a 1 month vacation away from you, then you take her to Vegas, then buy her an expensive purse, then buy your SIL and expensive purse plus you appear to be doing most of the cleaning around the house AND you do all sorts of who knows what for your wife. In exchange, you got about 5 blow jobs after 7 years of this?

http://replygif.net/i/459.gif


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

seattle_stranger said:


> It's different from men->women than women->men. Men are supposed to be the dominant alpha, we don't ask for things. We earn them by being a good man and husband, and a good wife gives them on a frequency that she's figured out works for both of them. Asking for it upsets this entire balance and makes the man seem insecure if he's "asking" for things. I can't say I've ever requested one, oddly enough she seems to just know when it's on my mind, it's friggin' freaky. :scratchhead: During sex/foreplay, though, there's nothing wrong with assuming the position and letting her just reach out and perform the act. I couldn't ever fathom walking up to her in the kitchen or whatever and being all like "Umm, babe? Can you give me some head?" and then furthermore I couldn't imagine the awkwardness of the rest of the day after she says "Uhh, no."
> 
> Back to the alpha thing, when women ask their men for things, it can be a turn on and a reassurance for both parties. Men need to feel needed, like we are supporting our women, being their lifeline, their provider, their rock, even if the woman is very independent. She needs to feel that way about her man too, that he is a rock solid protector and provider. So if she was to come up to me and blatantly ask for a sexual favor, I'd be hard pressed to think of something more important to do at that very moment. Then after all was said and done, think about the satisfaction a man would feel knowing his wife had this thought enter her head, it turned her on, she asked you for help, you delivered a great orgasm, and now she fell asleep, you'd feel pretty high and mighty would you not? Now the other way around, if a woman was approached, asked for a sexual favor, she delivered, and now he's asleep, I'm sure she'd feel kinda used.
> 
> Mars and Venus, ya know?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

BeenThereBefore said:


> To the others I am just confused, I should go sit quietly in the corner and wait for someone to come and have sex with me without saying anything or offering anything?


I genuinely can't figure out why the hell I'd be in a relationship with somebody who didn't come to me to have sex, without me having to say or offer anything.

I need a woman who initiates and wants sex with me purely for that reason and that reason alone.


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## LittleFluffyClouds (Jan 14, 2015)

I guess the first purse I understand. It was like a little game. Sounds like she was willing even before the offer. The other ones...idk. I did get a good laugh about your last comment, but knew other posters were going to blow that all up...

Still. I agree with other posters ...this can't continue. My fiancé would never ever do that and if he did I'd willingly comply without a purse or being whisked away to Vegas. Also you kind of set yourself up...it might be like a chore now. 

I like the part about indicating that they should be done only well-rested. That indicates that you won't settle for mediocrity. Now that you've at least jump-started...resurrected the BJ as a staple keep that kind of stuff going. Women do like fun, banter...playfulness. Men who act like sex gods become them. Any hint of insecurity or neediness is a total turn off. I don't want to punish my man by making him grovel for sexual things he likes. That's just mean and weird. Just my opinion.

My favorite line to get me to do anything is a playful, "come 'ere" said with a head lift and hand gesture of me coming to him. Immediately makes me smile and blush a little.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I have a client taking me to Vegas next week for a bank meeting. Wait, do I owe him a bj now? Crap. Can I outsource that?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

If you can't hook your client up in Vegas....your client needs to fire you.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

BeenThereBefore said:


> If you have not had a blowjob for a bunch of years, don't give up all hope.
> 
> I didn't keep track of the exact date, I didn't know it was so important at the time, but somewhere around 7 years ago I got my last blowjob.
> 
> ...


I get woke up to a bj every morning, been married over 16 years. I have yet to buy a purse, trip to vegas, or asked for any sexual favor for paying for something. I'd be insulted if my wife decided she would give me a bj for buying her something.

You aren't doing something right if you are getting sexual favors after negotiating and buying stuff for her. It sounds like your relationship has became a business deal. I couldn't live like that, but if you are happy getting what you are getting, more power to you.

There are much better ways, where the person gives you a bj and actually cares about you being happy, not about designer purses.


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

The timing of this post is incredible!!!! I just went and picked my wife up to go for lunch. She got in the truck looked at me and said $50.00 for a blow job? 
I gave her a little grin and told her "I'm in such a good mood today, I'll let you do it for free" 
All I got was "later, perhaps"


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Either there is nothing left in your relationship, and this is the only way she can do it, OR this is her kink.... if that's the case, enjoy, just try to re-negotiate the price, or it will be once a year deal or you go broke.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

seattle_stranger said:


> I don't think it's ever appropriate for a man to "request" sexual favors, and it's even worse for him to pay tangible prices for said asks. As said above, she's basically a prostitute at this point. It really sounds like you're going about it all wrong. Seriously? You ASK for blowjobs, and not just ask, you actually PESTER about it? Dude...
> 
> Question: When's the last time you gave HER oral? AND made her orgasm?


:iagree:

I find it very sad to have to buy her things for sexual favors. What ever happened to mutually pleasing relationships? You make sure she is sexually satisfied and she does the same for you. Relationships have to be a 2 way street.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

seattle_stranger said:


> It's different from men->women than women->men. Men are supposed to be the dominant alpha, *we don't ask for things. We earn them by being a good man and husband, and a good wife gives them on a frequency that she's figured out works for both of them. * Asking for it upsets this entire balance and makes the man seem insecure if he's "asking" for things. *I can't say I've ever requested one, oddly enough she seems to just know when it's on my mind, it's friggin' freaky*. :scratchhead: During sex/foreplay, though, there's nothing wrong with assuming the position and letting her just reach out and perform the act. I couldn't ever fathom walking up to her in the kitchen or whatever and being all like "Umm, babe? Can you give me some head?" and then furthermore I couldn't imagine the awkwardness of the rest of the day after she says "Uhh, no."
> 
> Back to the alpha thing, when women ask their men for things, it can be a turn on and a reassurance for both parties. Men need to feel needed, like we are supporting our women, being their lifeline, their provider, their rock, even if the woman is very independent. She needs to feel that way about her man too, that he is a rock solid protector and provider. So if she was to come up to me and blatantly ask for a sexual favor, I'd be hard pressed to think of something more important to do at that very moment. Then after all was said and done, think about the satisfaction a man would feel knowing his wife had this thought enter her head, it turned her on, she asked you for help, you delivered a great orgasm, and now she fell asleep, you'd feel pretty high and mighty would you not? Now the other way around, if a woman was approached, asked for a sexual favor, she delivered, and now he's asleep, I'm sure she'd feel kinda used.
> 
> Mars and Venus, ya know?


I agree with your post for the most part... But I wanted to add... some wives are stupid and clueless like I was for the 1st 19 yrs.. MY husband never asked ONE TIME for a BJ.. but he sure would have loved one!!. I needed kicked upside the head. .. he was that GOOD MAN..always a good man.. 

Heck it would have been better for my HUsband to play a few games like this with me *to open up the conversation over NOTHING at all* -when he clearly would have enjoyed them...but he forever pushed his desires down......

It just wasn't on my radar.... To me, I associated the act with porn ...he probably knew this.. we just didn't talk about it.. any talk is better than nothing -I guess is my point.. but now that it's opened up.. there needs to be an exchange of how this shouldn't be used to "get things"...

Does she realize how IMPORTANT they are to you.. how it makes you feel loved.. and that asking is really demeaning when you think about it.. Does any of us get pleasure knowing someone is doing something out of an "exchange" or obligation ?? 

For me.. all this changed in Mid life.. Can't get enough of BJ's now.. there is always hope when the woman has her mid life surge. I swear I get AS MUCH pleasure doing them (well maybe that's a stretch) .. but love it , love it . love it.. as he does receiving them.. 

Yes, there is always HOPE !


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I have a client taking me to Vegas next week for a bank meeting. Wait, do I owe him a bj now? Crap. Can I outsource that?


You only owe him one if he takes you to a show an buys you a man purse.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

7 years, a trip to Vegas with a show and an expensive purse.

Yeah no BJ is THAT good.

My wife isnt the best about giving BJ's (mostly to completion). But to have to beg (veiled as joking) like that and beg in the form of expensive gifts? Screw that. I have some dignity.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> OP, this thread probably did not go according to your plan. That being said, what are you thinking? You let your wife take a 1 month vacation away from you, then you take her to Vegas, then buy her an expensive purse, then buy your SIL and expensive purse plus you appear to be doing most of the cleaning around the house AND you do all sorts of who knows what for your wife. In exchange, you got about 5 blow jobs after 7 years of this?
> 
> http://replygif.net/i/459.gif


You're being overcharged. Cut back.


OP, Are you absolutely sure your wife did not bone up on her skills during the month she was away from you? Are the bj's enthusiastic and loving or like she is guilty and paying off a debt?


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

Wait, so you mean for the last twenty years I've just been blowing my husband every few days when I feel like it when I COULD have been holding back and getting nice things?

Dammit.


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## 'CuseGal (Feb 5, 2015)

There are actually women out there who enjoy giving BJs? I've always hated it (ex was a big guy and it hurt my jaw something wicked plus sometimes it activated my gag reflex) and none of my female friends that I have actually discussed sex with like it either. Always the same reasons, too. Either it hurts or it's gross because it makes them gag or it tastes nasty. I also have a guy friend experimented with homosexuality and went straight again very quickly because he said giving BJs was too d*mn uncomfortable! Said he'd never ask a woman to give him one ever again either now that he understood what it was like to be the giver rather than the receiver.

But really. I honestly thought women enjoying giving BJs was something that only happened in movies and romance novels. Interesting.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Current wife loves giving them. I mean LOVES doing it.

Ex-wife? hated it.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

And dont forget some women hate them with one man but like them with another. Now THERE'S something to keep you up at night if you're the guy not getting them.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

My wife thoroughly enjoys giving oral sex!
My wife thoroughly enjoys receiving oral sex!
My wife thoroughly enjoys watching football and basket ball!

Life is good.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Amplexor said:


> My wife thoroughly enjoys giving oral sex!
> My wife thoroughly enjoys receiving oral sex!
> My wife thoroughly enjoys watching football and basket ball!
> 
> Life is good.


sure. rub it in.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

'CuseGal said:


> There are actually women out there who enjoy giving BJs? I've always hated it (ex was a big guy and it hurt my jaw something wicked plus sometimes it activated my gag reflex) and none of my female friends that I have actually discussed sex with like it either. Always the same reasons, too. Either it hurts or it's gross because it makes them gag or it tastes nasty. I also have a guy friend experimented with homosexuality and went straight again very quickly because he said giving BJs was too d*mn uncomfortable! Said he'd never ask a woman to give him one ever again either now that he understood what it was like to be the giver rather than the receiver.
> 
> But really. I honestly thought women enjoying giving BJs was something that only happened in movies and romance novels. Interesting.


Oh yea, these women exist. Whether it be they enjoy the act or they enjoy how it makes their partner act. 

If a guy is big, use your hands and just mouth the head. There are endless ways to give a man oral, without it hurting anything.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Fozzy said:


> sure. rub it in.


My wife thoroughly enjoys giving me oral sex while I watch football and basket ball!


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I'm picturing you as Woogie in Something About Mary right now.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Tastes a lot better if the guy is vegan  Food for thought.


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## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

Fitnessfan said:


> Yes, there are many woman who enjoy giving oral sex. I love this with my husband and honestly, so do most of my friends. I've never felt it tasted nasty (quite the opposite) and I feel like it's even more intimate than intercourse so it makes me feel really close with him. I guess everyone is just different and that's okay.


WOW - I am one of the really lucky guys that get oral sex on a very regular basis. Sometimes she just goes for it but if I ask she is right on it.

Most of you already know that I went through prosthesis removal over three years while I was treated for two pathogen infection. Missing body parts, I was very limited in my ability to perform sex but my wife (Bless Her!) gave me more oral than I ever dreamed I would get; the saga continues!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

'CuseGal said:


> There are actually women out there who enjoy giving BJs?


My wife loves to give head when she's really in the mood for it. She'll sometimes wake me up by just going to town. She's orgasmed a handful of times from giving it without any further stimulation. I think the woman sometimes enjoys it more than even I do. I never have to request a BJ.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Amplexor said:


> My wife thoroughly enjoys giving oral sex!
> My wife thoroughly enjoys receiving oral sex!
> My wife thoroughly enjoys watching football and basket ball!
> 
> Life is good.



If all above is true , she is a Lady .

Does she have a twin sister ?


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

OP,



You have an opportunity to ask her why she finally followed through, and how she feels about it, and what had been holding her back.



You have an opportunity to convey you really missed being that _________ with her (intimate, vulnerable, close, ....), and you hope it doesn't stop.



It's no news to you, I am guessing, others have regularly experiences of the sort you have been missing out on. The question is why, and what can you do about it. You have learned she is capable still, and for some reasons still unknown, willing at times. Don't let the negativity on this thread discourage you and give up to accepting the previous seven years as your fate.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

I would just say that I never had a real BJ in 17 years ,expressed once that I love it , but will never ask for it ; A Lady will satisfy my desires and get hers satisfied without even talking about it ; and a Wh0re will just trade

Friends on TAM , 
you are not concentrating well in reading ...
THERE is something fishy ....



Beentherebef ,

A red Flag ,

You said "went on a trip without me for a few months, I think this allowed her to really see how other people live..."

1- she is either descent appreciating more , but she is your Wh0re .

or 

2)- tried BJs there and liked them , and wants to compare your performance ; yet she will get a material reward for it too.


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

You ever give her oral?


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

Well, this conversation is depressing.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Pooh Bear said:


> You ever give her oral?


got her fancy lingeries,The first Time I went down on her ; she didn't even orgasm ; I was so gentle took long long time ; she said she didn't even feel anything ; and associated it to her higiene ...
the next time I did I felt soap in my throat , didn't care , yet she didn't feel anything ...

she only orgasmed in last few month from rubbing hers to my leg ; even PIV doesn't rock her ...

Anyway all this is history now , we are not even talking to each other anymore...


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Zouz Have you read anything about human sexuality? The differences between sexual response in men Vs. women? How did you arrive at your oral hygiene techniques? Every woman is different. You have to treat each as if it's her first time and yours. You have to get to know her sexually and she you. It is a learning process, if you think you know already then you don't. Your wife is not likely to tell you because she thinks you are happier not knowing.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Catherine602 said:


> Zouz Have you read anything about human sexuality? The differences between sexual response in men Vs. women? How did you arrive at your oral hygiene techniques? Every woman is different. You have to treat each as if it's her first time and yours. You have to get to know her sexually and she you. It is a learning process, if you think you know already then you don't. Your wife is not likely to tell you because she thinks you are happier not knowing.


Dear Catherine ,
I am not sure if by summarizing I relayed to wrong message ; my bad maybe , didn't express it above well.
I agree with you in what you said ; however it is confusing when a wife refuses anything beyond vanilla ; for her it means she has to sacrifice ;then the beautiful experience becomes just a duty .

our marriage is over the edge not because of just intimacy ; intimacy is a reflection .

Going back to above ; for me it didn't make a difference , it is her who attributed her inability to arouse ; I always made sure that she even doesn't need to give back oral ;and she never ever did; after 17 years of just vanilla , the important thing for me is to arouse her , because intimacy experience for me is not to corner a women into just PIV , I like to make her hot so that we both enjoy it .

being Open in Intimacy is a reflection of trust between the two ,
it is also a reflection of respect.

When I don't care to be perfectionist toward my wife regarding the human bad things we human have ,it is a sign from my side which I always made it clear ; that I love her even she hasn't brushed her teeth , smelling her body scent was joy for me ; 

while she insisted over the years to shut down even for very small things ; like washing her hands in the middle of the experience when touching my part even if i had a bath just before and soaked my body until it becomes red.

She is not OCD she is what I call Obsessive Compulsive sexual Disorder (OCSD); her borderline personality didn't allow her to go even with the rythm and enjoy , because she builds a wall immediately to protect herself .

for her sex is a duty, a punishment , and will not happen if no additional services from my side are given for it ; this is what a borderline is , and passive aggressiveness is the power used....







The fact that she just like PIV is that she doesn't care to get aroused because she is LD .


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Amplexor said:


> My wife thoroughly enjoys giving oral sex!
> My wife thoroughly enjoys receiving oral sex!
> My wife thoroughly enjoys watching football and basket ball!
> 
> Life is good.


I thought I was your wife until I read the basket ball part.

Almost footy season here woohoo


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