# I dont know what to do.



## Suncity (Jul 8, 2012)

2001-2002
boyfriend get kicked out of college for not going to and faling classes. He tells me about the night before he has to get all his stuff out of the dorm. he drops out for the rest of the year and lives with me in my apartment
2002
I graduate college he does not but he trys to continue to go to school we have a long distant relationship.
2003-2005
He drops out again and moves in with me. I work he does not we move to a new city. I got a transfer, I help him get a job in the new city. I ask if he is going to try college again he says yes he takes a class. Things get bad we break up, i move home with parents, quit my job.
2005-2007
I live with parents go on a self destructive rampage. I move out work a good paying job again for 6 months. I quit again and move back with parents. During this time he is doing better he starts driving a car, gets a job, is living on his own. We start to see eachother again. I decided I want a baby so I get pregant. Im working part-time and he is full time. We are living with my parents. Myson is born my mom dies and I get fired. 
2008- present
I susbsitute teach for about 2 years. I get a teaching job in 2010. We move out of my dad's and start renting. I ask about finishing school he says he wants too, however he has not started. I want more in life, however I'm not going to be his mother anymore. I'm not going to be the one pushing. If thats all its going to be I dont want to be married anymore I have my son, I dont want another one.


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

Hi Suncity
It sounds like you know what you need to do in the last post, you need to put your foot down and state your position clearly. Is the problem that you want him to change and he simply won't? Have you communicated clearly and listened to his reasoning?


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## Suncity (Jul 8, 2012)

I keep thinking things will change. Ive told him if you dont want to go to school just tell me, he says he does. He is on medication for depression and anxiety. He lies all the time about stupid stuff just to avoid fighting with me. This last time he said he was going to start school in june. I would ask periodical how registering was going if he talked to anyone signed up to classes. He would give me really shot yes no answers. I would if i was going to school tell my spouse everything. Anyway the time for classes came and went. He told me something went wrong there was a mistake he was dropped from the class and there is nothing he can do. This kind of crap has always happened. I dont want to give up on him but I dont trust anything he tells me I always double check. I think we are both codependent and I so afraid of trying to take care of my son alone.


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

Hi Suncity
Depression is perhaps responsible for his behaviour. I wonder if work would be better for him, it would give him focus and would provide for you and your son. I don't think study is best pursued if he is not motivated.

You have had a fairly rough run over the last years. I hope your situation improves. You might be able to help yourself to find some independence from him psychological, so that you don't feel that your emotions swing with his behaviour. You don't depend on him really. I think that would certainly help you feel stronger and give you more options in the future.


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