# Don't know what to do...



## almostsingle30 (Oct 5, 2012)

My husband told me he was unhappy in our marriage about 2 weeks ago...He doesn't feel that spark, ect...

We started MC and will be going to our 3rd session tonight. He says he is not done with our marriage, but his tank is running on fumes. 

We had date night Saturday night...We went to dinner then a bar to have some drinks and watch the game. It was fun, but nothing crazy exciting..We had sex that night and it was crazy...We also woke up and had sex that morning...He was very dominate and controlling in bed. He said he wanted to do it all night, ect...It was very weird and different...

Then Sunday we woke up and went to a nice town and ate lunch and walked around. I am just confused...He doesn't love me, but doesn't want to leave..He also made comments about how if he left he would have to go to his moms, ect..He is SOOO confusing..Saying do what you want ect..He doesn't want to be with me, but doesn't want to deal with divorce or seperation...I just want him to love me...We are going to keep going to couseling, but I am so frustrated...Sorry for being all over the place...


----------



## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Is there a possibility of another woman in the picture?


----------



## almostsingle30 (Oct 5, 2012)

No other women...He literally goes to work and comes home and has been very honest...I just think he doesn't feel like he loves me...i dunno, very stressful.


----------



## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

Is there any added stress lately. When my husband got laid off from work he started being distance to the point that he left me , he said he didn't feel like a man since he couldn't provide and it went way out of control because he could not handle his emotions. We made up and everything and he apologized but stress can make men crazy , especially when they are not good with emotional problems.


----------



## almostsingle30 (Oct 5, 2012)

His job is stressful, but it isn't that bad..I dunno, he is weird..lol..He is just weird..Talks about leaving, ect, but doesn't do it..It is hard living not knowing how things are going to end up


----------



## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

almostsingle30 said:


> His job is stressful, but it isn't that bad..I dunno, he is weird..lol..He is just weird..Talks about leaving, ect, but doesn't do it..It is hard living not knowing how things are going to end up


You should take the lead and make him open up to you. I would do whatever it takes. You can't sit around wondering what will happen next.


----------



## almostsingle30 (Oct 5, 2012)

I have and he does open up at MC, but then is distant during the week. He literally goes from being nice to being a **** all day long..I think the problem is he doesn't know what he wants...Its heartbreaking to know he doesn't love me...


----------



## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Hi AS30 I feel you hit the nail on the head he doesnt know what he wants, Have you tried doing the 180 ?? just taking care of yourself and doing things you like to do ?? maybe start exercising or working out and develop some other hobbies that you like reconnect with old friends "girls/women" etc There is no sense stringing you along life is to short to be unhappy. Take care of yourself 

Good Luck


----------



## almostsingle30 (Oct 5, 2012)

I don't know if I should do the 180, I think it would piss him off even more...


----------



## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

almostsingle30 said:


> I don't know if I should do the 180, I think it would piss him off even more...


I think he will wonder what's going on with you after a few days...


----------



## dumpedandhappy (Aug 17, 2012)

A male perspective: it sounds as though he has lost respect for you for whatever reason. That part about the dominance in bed...it was him using you, treating you as he feels, getting what he wants...his way.
Not sure he is thinking of you much I am afraid. 
How to make him see that you are worthy of respect in his life again is I think your challenge. Approaching his compassionate side.
I am sorry, but are you absolutely certian there isn't a woman at work or through work that he has met, that challenges him and excites him? Sounds like to me you are not matching up to his expectations of you and so he is treating you like a foregone conclusion. 
Surprise him? Take some sort of initiative? Something to shock him into seeing you are not just what he thinks of you?


----------



## Tobey69 (Oct 12, 2012)

I think it would piss him off even more...


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Even though he is home every noght doesn't mean he isn't involved in an emotional affair with someone.

I'd suggest checking cell phone records for excessive texting/calls to a number or two that you don't recognize. Next step would be a keylogger on the PC (does he spend alot of time on-line?) and a VAR in his car


----------

