# Question for dumpers/leavers: when/if does the fantasy end?



## talkitout (Feb 21, 2012)

A question for those who have been the dumpers/leavers in a marriage or relationship, when does the emotional high and fantasy of leaving the person come to an end, whether it be for another person or simply wanting to be single? 

Do many really live happily ever after now that they've left and been freed from their partner? 

I just wonder how often a person chooses to leave, following short-term gains such as a new partner or newfound single life, only to have the fantasy end at some point and true regret and remorse set in.


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

I had a 4 month EA and it lasted 4 months..I was in fantasy land, it was my ex bf from before I met my spouse..Well we've been married for 20 yrs and our marriage was going to crap soo I found him on fb..I loved the attention he gave me, all the compliments. Finally admitted it to hubby and he kicked me out immediately. The OM freaked and stopped talking to me, he was a player. I was in lala land but came to my senses. I came home after a few days and hubby and I have been so much more connected. Now I know what I want and found that the grass is NOT greener on the other side. Hubby has been treating me so much better since and I've also owned up to my mistakes in our marriage. Miracles do happen. I feel after all this that I put him through I've been given one more chance and am so thankful that it's been getting better. This is all so recent tho and we do have our ups and downs.
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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

In the case of "dumpers" (coming from a "dumpee"...) I say, who cares? Once you get past being dumped, you can really let go of how they are doing.


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

When I did admit to the EA hubby insisted I cut off all contact but I was still in this fantasy world and said "no! I want to date him" Well then I took off to my sister's house...In the meantime hubby and I were going thru marriage counseling while I was having the EA. He could tell I was distracted and asked a few times if there was someone else and I kept denying it untill our last session where we were talking about a trial separation..but anyway it is possible to get your head out of the clouds and face reality and work on making your marriage work..This OM is blocked from our phones..off facebook and hubby has access to everything..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovehimsomuch (Mar 2, 2012)

For me my fantasy came to an end when i realize just how much the S.O.B cared about me. yep snap back to reality!


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