# In-laws as a reason not to reconcile??



## NotSoSureYet (Nov 10, 2011)

Has anyone here had their in-laws to be one of the top reasons to NOT reconciling? I have a huge issue w/ my MIL. Biggest being that my stbx would NEVER stick up for me towards her. He didn't want to "rock the boat" And that I was the one that had to confront her on things that she was doing that were not healthy for my family. I just need to know that I am not totally nuts for wanting to deal w/ a crazy woman for the rest of my life!!
Thanks for a GREAT forum!! It helps me so much to hear the ways that others have dealt w/ their marriage issues!


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## uphillbattle (Aug 17, 2011)

NotSoSureYet said:


> Has anyone here had their in-laws to be one of the top reasons to NOT reconciling? I have a huge issue w/ my MIL. Biggest being that my stbx would NEVER stick up for me towards her. He didn't want to "rock the boat" And that I was the one that had to confront her on things that she was doing that were not healthy for my family. I just need to know that I am not totally nuts for wanting to deal w/ a crazy woman for the rest of my life!!
> Thanks for a GREAT forum!! It helps me so much to hear the ways that others have dealt w/ their marriage issues!


ROFL, I assure you that you are not crazy (well atleast not because of this). My wife belongs to a forum for strictly dealing with in laws. You would probibly be the most sane of the bunch lol.

http://www.google.com/url?q=http://...UQFjAA&usg=AFQjCNHdsb_4-_K1GjFz3fEAWK9LK3f4Pg


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

That reason has nothing to do with your inlaws.
It is 100% about your husband.


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## Mindful Coach (Sep 15, 2011)

It is your husband and how he's responding to the situation. In-laws are one of the top three reasons people divorce if you don't include mental health or addiction reasons. With that, it's not so much about what the in-laws do or don't do, it's what the spouse does about it.

Tell him the only way you will reconcile is if he agrees to counseling with you to work through that, then do the counseling before you reconcile.


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## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

Just to share from my own experience...Family issues are definitely getting in the way for me and my WH. WH cheated, became abusive, and violated my family's privacy big time. We were living with them short-term at the time. They kicked him out and then me because I refused to divorce him. I want to work things out with WH, but we're in a really bad situation. Because of the family problems, WH is blaming them and me and ignoring the fact that he cheated and was abusive, claiming that if we want to be together, I have to go to him on his home-turf. This is possibly dangerous for me and my family's opposition makes it harder for me to try to demand what I need out of my marriage. It's a boundary thing. Neither of us have good boundaries with our family and both are using me as the rope in a tug of war. His mom refuses to let him leave her house again because of the way he left after his cheating and abuse was uncovered. So...I understand. Sounds like you guys need to discuss boundaries.Think about how to set boundaries and see if that helps. Counseling is useful in discussing boundaries.

I wish you a lot of luck.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

The issue is 100% your husband. 

He needs to get a new approach and it is to tell them all to shut the **** up when it comes to you and your relationship. 

The rule is if they cant say something nice, then it should not be said.

Every husband must defend his wife when she is right and support her in finding the truth when she is of the mark in private. 

Your husband needs to stop being such a wuss and grow some balls


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## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

YupItsMe said:


> The issue is 100% your husband.
> 
> Every husband must defend his wife when she is right and support her in finding the truth when she is of the mark in private.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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