# Double Standards



## TugOfWar (Mar 9, 2012)

I complain to my husband that I'm getting bored in the marriage. I'm a stay at home mom of three children. I never get to have any kind of fun outside the house. I have expressed this to my husband and he thinks that if I go out another man will try to talk to me and possibly take me from him. He said he will ease up and let me go out with my friends, but never does. Now on the other hand he goes out all the time and never asks me to go. Am I being naive by believing this? How, if possible, can I make this situation easier? What is your take on it?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Why are you asking him?
He doesn't ask you.

Plan something simple with a friend tell him you're doing it.
Then do it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

You do not need permission to go out and have a little fun.

I would just go even if you have to get a baby sitter because he won't watch the children. Find something you can do once a week and then make it a set thing in your week. So there is something to look forward to every week. Be sure to make this one day about you. No children no husband because you need a break once in a while too.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What he said. Unless your husband is locking you in the house (which is a different issue), the only person stopping you from going out is YOU.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

you are holding yourself back, he doesnt control you, you are letting him


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

TugOfWar said:


> I complain to my husband that I'm getting bored in the marriage. I'm a stay at home mom of three children. I never get to have any kind of fun outside the house. I have expressed this to my husband and he thinks that if I go out another man will try to talk to me and possibly take me from him. He said he will ease up and let me go out with my friends, but never does. Now on the other hand he goes out all the time and never asks me to go. Am I being naive by believing this? How, if possible, can I make this situation easier? What is your take on it?


Marriage friendly GNOs are essential.

I find it very odd he does not take you out.

Where does he go?

Where do you want to go?


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## TugOfWar (Mar 9, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> Marriage friendly GNOs are essential.
> 
> Where does he go?
> 
> Where do you want to go?


Either with friends or co-workers to bars, parties, clubs or just hanging out around his old neighborhood with old friends. I don't have a specific place. The mall, dinner, a movie, skating or bowling would be fine. I don't drink alcohol or smoke so the club/bar atmosphere isn't something I'd like.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

He's being selfish. You've already talked about it, since it's never working out just plan a night out and go have a blast (I'd tell him 3 or so days in advance so he has no real excuses). Just don't ask, tell him. If he brings it up just mention that it's your turn and leave it at that.

Only concern I have is if he's doing something inappropriate? Do you trust/know the guys he goes out with?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

TugOfWar said:


> Either with friends or co-workers to bars, parties, clubs or just hanging out around his old neighborhood with old friends. I don't have a specific place. The mall, dinner, a movie, skating or bowling would be fine. I don't drink alcohol or smoke so the club/bar atmosphere isn't something I'd like.


Ok so excuse me for being blunt. 
He is being a real jerk about this.

Him not taking you out alone together is wrong if he is not. You guys should be having fun together.

He should also include you in things that are not just guys night out. But I get the sense that his nights out are not so marriage friendly. Hard to tell. There does appear to be a double standard.

What you are suggesting sounds like marriage friendly reasonable things.

This is actually a form of abuse IMHO.


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## TugOfWar (Mar 9, 2012)

Browncoat said:


> He's being selfish. You've already talked about it, since it's never working out just plan a night out and go have a blast (I'd tell him 3 or so days in advance so he has no real excuses). Just don't ask, tell him. If he brings it up just mention that it's your turn and leave it at that.
> 
> Only concern I have is if he's doing something inappropriate? Do you trust/know the guys he goes out with?


I know a few of them, but only trust two, and one of them lives out of state. The others I just hear stories about. The thought of him doing inappropriate things runs across my mind alot. That whole things about another man I think is an excuse out of guilt. Yesterday after church he said he was going home to lay down (he's diabetic). I said ok, we'll be home later. His response was ok, don't rush. It didn't bother me until he then called and said he was going to go hang out with his friends at a old neighborhood cookout. He then posted the pics on his FB. This really got me upset because he posted more of females than males.


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

Guys that controlling have issues, and from the sounds of it he is probably not a faithful partner. He then projects what he does onto you and assumes you will sleep around as well, because he does. :/


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