# silly question about something



## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

He did text OW it was over after realizing we were going to work it out. This was on 3/2/12.
OW was hurt as she emailed him on 3/4/12 a few days later. He let me read it. And then he wrote back that is was over but still cared for and loved her.
I did not know anything about a NC letter he has not talked,texted,sexted,FB or seen her since 3/2/12.
Would it be silly for me to have him write one out or let it be.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I would do the NC. He told her it was over yet he still cares for and loves her. Sucks but at least he was honest. The NC put the burden on him that he will have NC. If he breaks it what are the consequences?


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> I would do the NC. He told her it was over yet he still cares for and loves her. Sucks but at least he was honest. The NC put the burden on him that he will have NC. If he breaks it what are the consequences?


The NC is not just for you. Its for him as well. He needs to write it, sign it and send it in your presence. Its concrete hard proof that he's ending the relationship. Its very necessary for both of you.


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## tokn (Sep 9, 2011)

lovemylife26 said:


> And then he wrote back that is was over but still cared for and loved her.


Wait wait...

Were you okay with him saying this to OW?


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

tokn said:


> Wait wait...
> 
> Were you okay with him saying this to OW?


I did not see what he wrote I was at the gym when he wrote but when I came home he showed it to me.

I want to ask him to write one but I think he would be mad that I keep bringing up the past. As how is this going to help us move forward is what he is going to say. 

He said he wishes that he could be friends with her but understand that could not happen. He says he is completely in love with me and to show me he climbed into the shower with his clothes on last night.


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## tokn (Sep 9, 2011)

Good grief I would be devastated hearing my partner said they loved the AP.

But for yours, hers, and his closure the NC letter is probably a good idea.

IMO, the NC has a psychological effect as well.

Lets you know he is committing to you and will no longer be in contact with her.

Lets him know that he has recommitted to you and will not be in contact with her anymore.

Lets her know that it's really over and he's with his wife and never coming back.

Whether he sticks to it is something you'll have to watch, and punishable by losing you if he breaks it.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

lovemylife26;654579
And then he wrote back that is was over but still cared for and loved her.
[/QUOTE said:


> wont be the last time he hears from her.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

VAR in his car and spyware on his phone, keylogger. Im telling you this is not over. Take care of yourself. Ask for that NC letter and do the things above.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

canttrustu said:


> VAR in his car and spyware on his phone, keylogger. Im telling you this is not over. Take care of yourself. Ask for that NC letter and do the things above.


Truth

He`s not done with her by a long shot.

She`ll be fishing within the week

Keep your eyes on him OP.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

I smell.

Ask him to stop contacting her or replying to her.

No contact means NO CONTACT whatsoever.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

You really NEED a no contact letter here asap. 

Block her out of everything, change emails, and start watching him. Who cares if he gets mad about you bringing up the past. He cheated and so has to deal with it. Rug sweeping is not going to make it go away. 

NC letter. She fished and he took the bait. She will do it again esp because he told her he still loved and cared for her.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

Thanks for the help and ideas people.
He did say he will write a NC letter I printed an ex. and he said he would write something like that.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> Thanks for the help and ideas people.
> He did say he will write a NC letter I printed an ex. and he said he would write something like that.


make sure you SEE IT and YOU mail it.


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## artlady (Jul 17, 2011)

> I am afraid that I must agree. My H's NC letter was wishy washy, but it didn't include an avowal of continuing love. The OW contacted him upwards of 15 times over the next year and a half. Your H's letter damn near guarantees that she will continue to try to re ignite the flame.


I agree with this-- your H telling the OW that he still loves her and cares for her is just an invitation for the relationship to continue. I agree with everyone's advice here. Makes sure he knows and agrees that APs canNOT continue to be friends, too.

And if she continues to fish after the NC letter, YOU write one to her. That's the only thing that got my H's mistress to stop contacting my H.

Good luck.


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