# Needing help badly



## Pearl (Feb 25, 2007)

I've been seeking help for counselling but can't get in for 5 weeks & the other place hasn't rung back! I'm at my wits end. I've just found out my husband has been having an affair with my best friend, I still love him & want him to stay & he says he could never leave my daughter & I & only did it for selfish reasons. I can understand this to a certain extent as I have MS (which is playing up due to the stress), but when it all started I wasn't too bad. He has been very supportive & is glad its out in the open but I am not coping & its not doing my health any good. How do I get over this & move on?


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## in-flux (Apr 10, 2009)

wow-you sound amazingly forgiving. Try to take care of your health first and foremost, and get yourself feeling strong. Counseling is a great idea, until then, meditate, breath deeply, take long walks, just focus on taking care of you.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

your on the emotional slope at the moment.
your feelings wil change somewhat eratically. trust me i been there,
you wil fight for him, love him, then hate him and the cycle starts again.
you wil even go through a grieving process.
my suggestion you have to let your feelings vent. so keep writing on the forum. i found this very good counsellin in itself.
keep taking your medication (anti-inflammatory) meds, this wil help to reduce build up and tension.
im not sure if you take a sedative for your pain such as amitryptilline for the night. 
but whatever you take for the night, continue it. you wil be drained by emotions and atleast with a mild sedative you can get a little more rest.
heres what i did, i kicked H out at the time. i needed time and space. couple of months.
it took atleast 10 months before i felt ok again. you wont forget, but you can forgive.
after a certain time, if you want to move on together, you cant keep bringing it up.
also if its going to happen again, it wil. so why worry til then.
so i stopped worrying.


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

Pearl,

How do I get over this & move on? 

As mentioned you can forgive, that is the easy part.

As mentioned forgetting and not remembering is the hard part.

You have to bring it up in your head not to your spouse as mentioned.

If you can do the above on the way to rebuilding, if not then alternates have to be thought of.

If signs its going to happen again, time to cut the relationship line instantly.


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