# dating update - enjoyable



## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

I've been in SF for almost five weeks, had put my profile up on plentyoffish and messaged a number of women before I arrived.

I can't believe how quickly my life is moving, I'm enjoying just about everything in SF with the exception of 20 minutes in the rain Friday evening.

I've had first dates with four women, canceled or had canceled three others for reasons varying from a very ill friend to cold feet. Three of the dates were pleasant but had no chemistry. 

The first woman I chatted with - I wasn't as drawn to her as much as others I messaged and talked to - met me in mid November in a coffee shop near SF's Embarcadero.

We connected on a variety of levels, we talked for two hours when I became hungry so suggested we go to dinner at the restaurant across the way. She accepted, we ate, talked, laughed, spoke of deep concerns. She's bright, funny, feisty, open to a relationship, and short - the right size for me. She's the grandmother of two kids under five who live in the Bay area.

A day or two later, while still having dates with other "fish" on my schedule, I invited her to dinner, this time on her side of the Bay near her home and workplace. I took BART to terra incognito, found the restaurant and reserved a table. Once again we had a good time, I was pretty sure our goodbye kisses and hugs said more than words we were both unwilling to say.

This past Monday she took BART (SF's subway) to a stop near my apartment, we had miscommunicated about our meeting spot, we had phone numbers on our computers, but not on our cell phones. As her expected arrival time got older and older I wondered what had happened - this particular stop has about six different ways to exit, she could have been on the large concourse, on the platform, or on the sidewalk. We both knew we were not being stood up.

I knew she had arrived, kept looking for thirty minutes until we found each other, then went to dinner at a restaurant close to my new home. We had a great time, we both enjoyed each other's company. As we walked past the entrance to my apartment building I thought about inviting her up, but decided she had too much wine - at a hundred pounds or less it doesn't take much - to make a reasoned decision and I wasn't sure enough about my feelings to suggest it.

Saturday was our fourth date in a month. This time she came to my apartment, we talked, ate a late lunch I cooked, and had a very pleasant afternoon.

We are already caring a lot for each other, she is filling a place in me that had been empty a long time, I like the way she is sometimes outrageous, the way she glows, smells, tastes and feels. She just seems so right to me, she feels the same about me. Very scary how fast this is moving.

She's divorced, has had other male friends these past few years, neither of us young in body, both young in spirit.

This nice guy, balding, rounding, no longer fleet of foot, is smiling a lot.


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)




----------



## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Glad to hear you're having so much fun, and connecting so well with someone. You deserve some happiness and contentment in your life.


----------



## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Good to hear!


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Life gets kind of interesting when you embrace it rather than simply tolerating it.


----------



## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Woot! Good for you!


----------



## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

*dating update - more than enjoyable*

I've just gotten back to my apartment after spending the New Year's weekend from Friday night through Sunday with my girlfriend.

We had a wonderful time together, I felt more appreciated and loved than I've felt in ages, we talked about everything from grandchildren and their haircuts to much deeper issues, to use a phrase I saw a while back, we opened our kimonos.

We are so exceedingly comfortable with each other, eager to help, kiss, hold, I just can't believe how well we are fitting. We are both fundamentally caregivers, being with her I'm being well cared for, as is she. 

We've spent more time together talking, reading, napping, watching TV, in the last month than I and stbx spent in all our years together. The emotional intimacy I've been missing is present.

I've seen her at her saddest due to several events I can't share, but showed her at her most vulnerable. Like me she is not a complainer (I treasure this aspect), has been dealing with substantial pain for years and is now recovering from major corrective surgery with few mentions except when moving the wrong way causing major winces. She's tough, bright, funny, cusses, well educated, sensual, authentic. Being next to her in bed, holding her in my arms as we fall asleep, holding her breast in my hand and her wiggling closer is so very good.

As you may be able to tell I'll falling for her far faster than I ever imagined possible, starting to feel less scared than I wrote in earlier posts. I can't believe we met for the first time a little more than a month ago.

I saw my younger son this evening, he mentioned how happy I've been since I moved to SF, and he's right. My GF is part of my happiness, but a lot is due to no longer living with my stbx, her rejection, her neuroses.


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Good for you TTM.

We love good news.


----------



## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Yay!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

ThinkTooMuch said:


> She's divorced, has had other male friends these past few years, neither of us young in body, both young in spirit.
> 
> This nice guy, balding, rounding, no longer fleet of foot, is smiling a lot.


That's awesome :smthumbup:


----------



## LVS (Apr 5, 2010)

Thanks for the update ! Happy for you !


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Absolutely brilliant:smthumbup:


----------



## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

*All good things shall pass*

I'm sorry to report that despite a number of very happy times together, my GF is no longer my GF. It was fun, but we both moved too quickly and came to realize I am too mellow for her, and she is too intense for me.

Being loved and appreciated after many years of being ignored was wonderful. Add a wonderful time in bed, kitchen, on the couch, etc and my memories of her are delightful.

Having fallen off the horse, I'm getting back on.


----------



## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Too fast, too slow, too emotionally unavailable??? …….. Who really knows anymore? In my early 20’s this dating stuff seemed like so much more fun. As I’m creeping up towards 40, it somehow has not been quite as enjoyable. Once you’ve been married and especially if you have children, you’re never really that single anymore. Maybe it’s because we know more of what we are looking for and no longer want to play into the games. 

The most humorous and best date I’ve been on since my divorce was with a guy who is now my closest friend. We met for morning coffee, which turned into an intense “Q & A” interview on both our parts. He initiated the questions and then it was on. We covered a lot of ground in about 45 min. We both still laugh about that “coffee date”. The mutual feeling was that neither one of us wanted to waste the other’s time if we didn’t have similar principles or desires. He did kind of chicken out in the long run, but he definitely is a good apple and a good friend.

I’m now looking at this dating stuff as an opportunity for friendships (No, not friends with benefits either.) If a guy does not respect my answer of, “You know, I really don’t date.” he was probably a bad apple anyways. 

ThinkTooMuch ~ Keep that possitive attitude. You gotta get back up on that horse. Or like my old cowboy friend told me, "Pick yourself up, dust off and take your reride." (He was referring to my divorce.)


----------

