# Should I put on my Dating Profiles I am a Virgin?



## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

As the title question asks, should I put on my profile that I am a virgin and I am saving myself for marriage to have sex? Or should I save that as a private conversation with the guy I am interested in?

With me, I rather get all of the important info like that out into the open right off the bat, because right there you can see if the person wants to keep the chat going or cut you off right then and there etc.

What do you think?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

No, because I suspect that very few people you are likely to date share your definition of virgin.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I think that stating on a dating profile that you are a virgin will be extremely attractive to two particular, and very dissimilar, groups of men. 

The first group will be very conservative religious gentlemen who are also waiting for marriage. They are likely to expect something a little more reserved than a very adventurous, BDSM-inclined, technical virgin, however. They are likely to be a little put off by the reality of your sexual history. 

The second group will be the guys who see your virginity as a prize or a challenge. A lot of them will be way more interested in your virginity than in a functional long-term relationship with you. It's often unwise to present yourself as a trophy to people who enjoy the thrill of the hunt. Some of those men will be not very nice people. 

In other words, save anything overtly sexually related for private conversations with men you are dating. I would recommend simply noting in your profile that you are not looking for anything casual and are only interested in those seeking a serious, committed, long term relationship.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

You're not really a virgin, so no.

Why don't you lead with something that isn't about the thing you hang your whole identity on - your virginity?

Because at some point, either it's going to go away, or you'll be too old for anyone to care.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> As the title question asks, should I put on my profile that I am a virgin and I am saving myself for marriage to have sex? Or should I save that as a private conversation with the guy I am interested in?
> 
> With me, I rather get all of the important info like that out into the open right off the bat, because right there you can see if the person wants to keep the chat going or cut you off right then and there etc.
> 
> What do you think?


Your questions keep getting more and more ridiculous, Nataly. Seriously.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Why don't you keep to one thread instead of creating a bazillion new ones?


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

No, do not put that you are virgin. 
Save that information for a private conversation.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Not on a dating profile. Hopefully they can get a feel for who you are through chatting / talking.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

This is what I have written down on my dating profiles -

"Hello there,

I still have values and morals I look upon and believe in deeply and would be grateful if you could respect those and me. I enjoy spending time indoors rather than outdoors.Why indoors? I enjoy going to concerts including headbanging, mosh pit/crowd surfing, convention partaking, shopping around the mall, browsing through local book, music, and thrift shops, or yard sales/swap meets, strolling around town or the local park. If not, I am always finding myself at home, surfing the web, watching TV/movies, playing video games/sports, reading books, manga, comic books, photography, writing etc. Guess you could say, I am more of a nerdy, geeky, type of gal, that loves those cultures and music!

Which brings me to what I do with a lot of my time, as a freelance writer/photographer making contributions as far as writing and photography to various online sources i.e. websites, zines, and print publications, submitting news stories, reviews of events ranging from conventions, concerts, musicals, plays, movies, music, products, sports, TV etc. I have also conducted interviews with numerous individuals i.e. actors, authors, musicians, etc.

Since we're on the subject, I really love listening to metal, punk, and rock their sub-genres included with some of my favorite acts being; Aiden, Bullet for my Valentine, Cannibal Corpse, Children of Bodom, DevilDriver, Escape The Fate, I Am Ghost, Motionless In White, Skeletonwitch, Toxic Holocaust, Warbringer etc.

I have been on this site before, among other dating sites, always getting played with by guys. I am tired of it, I want to find a guy who will take dating seriously, wanting to date, allow it to develop to lead into a relationship, and wherever it ends up. I do not have and I do not want to have any kids, because they are not for me. I would prefer to focus upon my partner, loving and caring for him in whichever way possible, because that's what matters the most, at least to me. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, I don't go out partying, I am not here for hook-ups or a friends with benefits relationship, that's not me.

I want that guy to accept me for me, appreciate what and the things that I do for him, have him be understanding, a good listener, caring, loving, loyal, knows what he wants, has goals and has his life in order i.e. education, job, vehicle, place to live, just has a stable lifestyle, as I do. Just want someone to be there for me, as I would be there for them, be there best friend forever after. I am looking for a life partner, a best friend. I like the traditional old fashioned gentlemen, type of guy. I would really appreciate it, if you did not drink, smoke, or do drugs of any kind, at all, if you do, we will not work.

If you think you and I will click, send me a reply, but only if you want too."


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

samyeagar said:


> No, because I suspect that very few people you are likely to date share your definition of virgin.





marduk said:


> You're not really a virgin, so no.
> 
> Why don't you lead with something that isn't about the thing you hang your whole identity on - your virginity?
> 
> Because at some point, either it's going to go away, or you'll be too old for anyone to care.


Have I missed something? How can someone be a virgin but not a virgin? (Man I must be getting old).

OP, no I don't think you should post your sexual history on a dating website. I think that topic is something you share, privately, with someone that you are interested in.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

camerashy said:


> Have I missed something? How can someone be a virgin but not a virgin? (Man I must be getting old).
> 
> OP, no I don't think you should post your sexual history on a dating website. I think that topic is something you share, privately, with someone that you are interested in.


I am a Virgin because I have not had sexual intercourse, penis in the vagina type of sex. But I have done other sex acts, so they say that makes me not a Virgin, when I am one, because I have not had vaginal intercourse.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

nataly87 said:


> This is what I have written down on my dating profiles -
> 
> "Hello there,
> 
> ...


A few of these are big-time cliches that you'll see on every profile - so guys will ignore them:
"I like the traditional old fashioned gentlemen"
"I am not here for hookups or fwb"

By stating right away that your values are important - and ending with "you did not drink, smoke, or do drugs of any kind" - I think you'll weed out most of the guys you don't want to meet. And probably 90% of the guys on most "free" internet dating sites.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> I am a Virgin because I have not had sexual intercourse, penis in the vagina type of sex. But I have done other sex acts, so they say that makes me not a Virgin, when I am one, because I have not had vaginal intercourse.


Where I come from when a man puts his foo foo in your wah, then that is called losing your virginity.

No, I wouldn't post that on a dating site OP, you'll attract all kinds of questions and unwanted attention that have absolutely nothing to do with your sparkling personality and goals in life.


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## mitchell (May 19, 2014)

I think what you wrote is fine. No need to go into your views on virginity in your profile. However, you may want to make your thoughts clear early on if you happen to date. No reason to string along the guy like your last BF.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

camerashy said:


> Where I come from when a man puts his foo foo in your wah, then that is called losing your virginity.
> 
> No, I wouldn't post that on a dating site OP, you'll attract all kinds of questions and unwanted attention that have absolutely nothing to do with your sparkling personality and goals in life.


What if he puts his hoo-ha in your woo woo, but the foo foo doesn't touch the wah? And you are both wearing nothing but chaps. And one of you is strapped to some sort of torture device with a ball gag in your mouth?


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

nice777guy said:


> What if he puts his hoo-ha in your woo woo, but the foo foo doesn't touch the wah? And you are both wearing chaps. And one of you is strapped to some sort of torture device with a ball gag in your mouth?


Then you've probably done more than I have and are most definitely not a virgin.

Chaps? Really?

Foo foo in wah = sex unless you're wearing chaps and torture devices.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

camerashy said:


> Then you've probably done more than I have and are most definitely not a virgin.
> 
> Chaps? Really?


I've not read all of the threads, but it sounds like OP has been having a lot more fun than I have!


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Why does your dating profile seem to be written with more maturity than most of your TAM postings? Did you write it yourself?

And no you should not say anything about being a virgin.


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

nataly87 said:


> This is what I have written down on my dating profiles -
> 
> "Hello there,
> 
> ...


after reading your dating bio, I am inclined to believe you are not as dating naïve as I previously thought. I am also inclined to believe you are pulling our legs with all these questions. I will admit, I was answering your endless questions because I thought you lacking experience in the "real world"

Anyway, I am out. Good luck


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

nice777guy said:


> I've not read all of the threads, but it sounds like OP has been having a lot more fun than I have!


Geez, we're behind in the times.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> I want that guy to accept me for me, appreciate what and the things that I do for him, have him be understanding, a good listener, caring, loving, loyal, knows what he wants, *has goals and has his life in order i.e. education, job, vehicle, place to live, just has a stable lifestyle, as I do.*


Since you are uneducated, unemployed, and living at home off your parents at their house at the age of 28, I'd think this part of your profile is misleading, to say the least. Your lifestyle is only stable because your parents are willing to support you. You don't have your life in order, and guys who do won't want to be with you when they figure that out.

Same with the virgin stuff. To tell people that you are a virgin is misleading, even though your hymen may be intact, maybe. And when guys understand that virgin means everything but PIV, they, too, will not want to be with you. Not because you haven't had PIV, but because you are selling yourself as something that is very different from what they consider a virgin. They will feel misled, just like with the "stable lifestyle like I have" part.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

That profile is WAY too long winded. Seriously, you need to NOT be dating, period. You have way too much going on that you need to work on, a relationship is the LAST thing you need to be worrying about.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Absolutely you should say that you're a virgin. And that's ALL you should say. Don't say anything else at all.
















[I am seriously hoping to keep these genes out of the gene pool for good]


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

The profile is way to long winded, definitely.

And, yes, it is also misleading. Anyone reading that would likely assume you live independently and are self supporting. 

No, I wouldn't mention being a "virgin". However, if you really want to, you could give fair warning by saying something along the lines of " In the interest of weeding out bad matches, I have dated a few men and been sexually adventurous, but I am not willing to have vaginal intercourse until married. I'm an "everything but" virgin and have no intention of changing that status until my wedding night."


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Advertising yourself as virgin. Do you want to break the internet? 

But on a serious note, why even use a dating site. Are you not able to meet a man in a conventional sense? The whole online dating seems so desperate. If you must, at least let a guy get to know you before you're already discussing sex with a stranger. 

As for being a virgin, If you're giving BJs and having anal, who on earth is buying that?


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

mitchell said:


> I think what you wrote is fine. No need to go into your views on virginity in your profile. However, you may want to make your thoughts clear early on if you happen to date. No reason to string along the guy like your last BF.


How was I stringing my ex along? He knew I was a virgin and respected me for it, somewhat, he had the high sex drive and couldn't shut up about it.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

jsmart said:


> Advertising yourself as virgin. Do you want to break the internet?
> 
> But on a serious note, why even use a dating site. Are you not able to meet a man in a conventional sense? The whole online dating seems so desperate. If you must, at least let a guy get to know you before you're already discussing sex with a stranger.
> 
> As for being a virgin, If you're giving BJs and having anal, who on earth is buying that?


HOLD UP I will NEVER EVER have anal sex PERIOD. Never have and never ever plan too.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> The profile is way to long winded, definitely.
> 
> And, yes, it is also misleading. Anyone reading that would likely assume you live independently and are self supporting.
> 
> No, I wouldn't mention being a "virgin". However, if you really want to, you could give fair warning by saying something along the lines of " In the interest of weeding out bad matches, I have dated a few men and been sexually adventurous, but I am not willing to have vaginal intercourse until married. I'm an "everything but" virgin and have no intention of changing that status until my wedding night."


I think talking about any sexual activity period should be left for private conversations between the person I am interested in.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

3Xnocharm said:


> That profile is WAY too long winded. Seriously, you need to NOT be dating, period. You have way too much going on that you need to work on, a relationship is the LAST thing you need to be worrying about.


Then do tell, what do I need to work upon?


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

norajane said:


> Since you are uneducated, unemployed, and living at home off your parents at their house at the age of 28, I'd think this part of your profile is misleading, to say the least. Your lifestyle is only stable because your parents are willing to support you. You don't have your life in order, and guys who do won't want to be with you when they figure that out.
> 
> Same with the virgin stuff. To tell people that you are a virgin is misleading, even though your hymen may be intact, maybe. And when guys understand that virgin means everything but PIV, they, too, will not want to be with you. Not because you haven't had PIV, but because you are selling yourself as something that is very different from what they consider a virgin. They will feel misled, just like with the "stable lifestyle like I have" part.


Then what should I say? Should I just be up front and just say it like it is, and just say that "hey I live at home, I am a bum I didn't go to college and I don't work period".


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

nataly87 said:


> Then do tell, what do I need to work upon?


The first thing you need to do is see a therapist and get some self esteem going. You are WAY WAY WAY too needy.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

Cooper said:


> Why does your dating profile seem to be written with more maturity than most of your TAM postings? Did you write it yourself?
> 
> And no you should not say anything about being a virgin.


Yes I did write it myself, I am a writer after all.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

samyeagar said:


> No, because I suspect that *very few people* you are likely to date share your definition of virgin.


 Stop exagerating...:grin2:


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I think you should just put links to your threads here. Then people will get a better-rounded picture of what you're like.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> Yes I did write it myself, *I am a writer* after all.


Professionally?:surprise:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> Yes I did write it myself, I am a writer after all.


What? You are a writer? Me too! 

Just thought I'd mention that.

And do not put the I am a virgin thing up. TMI, IMO.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> Then what should I say? Should I just be up front and just say it like it is, and just say that "hey I live at home, I am a bum I didn't go to college and I don't work period".


That would be the honest thing to do. If this were true of a man you were interested in, wouldn't you want to know?


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> Yes I did write it myself, I am a writer after all.


Don't you need college to become a writer? 
I did a degree in finance & literature, and find it hard to "be a author". 
You say you've done interviews with so called celebrities? 
Then how come that's not your job? 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

MrsAldi said:


> Don't you need college to become a writer?
> I did a degree in finance & literature, and find it hard to "be a author".
> You say you've done interviews with so called celebrities?
> Then how come that's not your job?


You certainly do not need college to become a writer; in fact, most famous writers never went to college.

And while I did go to college and am a writer (of the technical variety), I didn't get a degree in journalism or anything related.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MrsAldi said:


> *Don't you need college to become a writer? *
> I did a degree in finance & literature, and find it hard to "be a author".
> You say you've done interviews with so called celebrities?
> Then how come that's not your job?
> ...


No! :rofl:

I have been a professional journalist for 35 years and I didn't go to college to learn to be a writer! 

I guess Nataly could be a blogger? Which is cool.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> No! :rofl:
> 
> I have been a professional journalist for 35 years and I didn't go to college to learn to be a writer!
> 
> I guess Nataly could be a blogger? Which is cool.


How did you get your job? I find it hard to get work here. 
Must be cronyism here.  

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MrsAldi said:


> How did you get your job? I find it hard to get work here.
> Must be cronyism here.
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


I will send you a PM revealing my secrets!


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> What? You are a writer? Me too!
> 
> Just thought I'd mention that.
> 
> And do not put the I am a virgin thing up. *TMI, IMO*.


*TMI, IMO*

and inaccurate In Most's Opinion as well.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> How was I stringing my ex along? He knew I was a virgin and respected me for it, somewhat, he had the high sex drive and couldn't shut up about it.


You need to watch how you react to this...most men have a healthy sex drive and are going to want to have sex. That doesn't mean that they have some kind of problem. I would worry about a man who DOESNT want to have sex, honestly. I am not sure what your reasoning is for wanting to wait, but from what we see here on TAM, no sex before marriage usually ends up in disaster. :frown2:


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> Don't you need college to become a writer?
> I did a degree in finance & literature, and find it hard to "be a author".
> You say you've done interviews with so called celebrities?
> Then how come that's not your job?
> ...


 @MrsAldi Fine Arts and Journalism here. And I too struggle to get articles published.

OP could perhaps look at studying a journalism/creative writing/literature degree? Student sounds better than unemployed.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> Then what should I say? Should I just be up front and just say it like it is, and just say that "hey I live at home, I am a bum I didn't go to college and I don't work period".


I would not bring that subject up in your dating profile, or at least don't say "has a job like I do" if you don't even have one. Let people who are concerned about your career ask what you do and then explain you are not currently working.

BTW - I'm with you - if you haven't had PIV sex, you are a virgin. You may not be very *virginal*, but you are a virgin.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

Guys will message me and ask me "Are you bi?" "Are you a lesbian?" "You want to hook up?" "You looking for a friends with benefits relationship" etc. So for me to indicate in my profile, that "I am straight, I am not here for a hook-up or to party, nor am I looking for a friends with benefits relationship". Is a good idea no? As opposed to having to answer every message, from a guy that asks me those questions, all the info is right there!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

If you don't want to answer messages from stupid horny guys, DON'T POST A PROFILE ON A DATING WEBSITE.

I love how you just ignore the people trying to actually give you advice.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Hell, you don't have to answer crappy messages like that at all. But yes, Hope...agreed!


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> Guys will message me and ask me "Are you bi?" "Are you a lesbian?" "You want to hook up?" "You looking for a friends with benefits relationship" etc. So *for me to indicate in my profile, that "I am straight, I am not here for a hook-up or to party, nor am I looking for a friends with benefits relationship".* Is a good idea no? As opposed to having to answer every message, from a guy that asks me those questions, all the info is right there!


Also put in the profile that you have no job and are not looking and that no sex before marriage. If you want to be honest, why not be FULLY honest. Why wait until later to mention the items that are primary filter questions.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> Guys will message me and ask me "Are you bi?" "Are you a lesbian?" "You want to hook up?" "You looking for a friends with benefits relationship" etc. So for me to indicate in my profile, that "I am straight, I am not here for a hook-up or to party, nor am I looking for a friends with benefits relationship". Is a good idea no? As opposed to having to answer every message, from a guy that asks me those questions, all the info is right there!


  @nataly87 Honestly, I thought that dating websites were only about that stuff anyway. People I know that are signed up to them are only looking for sex and casual hookups.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Hope1964 said:


> I love how you just ignore the people trying to actually give you advice.


I wonder why?


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

camerashy said:


> @nataly87 Honestly, I thought that dating websites were only about that stuff anyway. People I know that are signed up to them are only looking for sex and casual hookups.


Well, Nataly is out of luck then. Are there any sites for "Virgins seeking marriage" out there in the world wide web?


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

OP...go back to school. Study. Move out of home. Join an online/local writing community where you will meet people with whom you share similar interests. And just see what happens along the way.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

UPDATED PROFILE:

"Hello there, name's Natalie;
I enjoy spending time indoors rather than outdoors, because I enjoy going to concerts, thus headbanging, mosh pits, crowd surfing and stage diving are what I do, the best and the most, since concert attending is what I do, a good portion of my life, hence why music is such a passion and pride of mine,
Besides that, I partake in going to conventions, shopping around the mall, browsing through local book, music, and thrift shops and or yard sales/swap meets, if not strolling around town or at a local park. I am always finding myself at home, a good majority of the time as well, surfing the web, watching the latest in TV and movies, playing video games, sports, reading books like various novels, manga, and comic books. As well as showcasing my skills in the photography and writing sense, that you can say I am more of a nerdy/geeky type of gal that just loves being engulfed in those activities and their cultures.
Which brings me to what I do with a lot of my time, as a freelance writer/photographer, I make contributions as far as writing and photography goes, to numerous sources, i.e. websites, zines, and print publications, submitting articles of news stories, reviews of various events, ranging from concerts, conventions, musicals, plays, movies, music, products, sports, TV, etc. I have also conducted interviews with numerous individuals i.e. actors, authors, musicians, etc.

Since we're on the subject, I really love listening to metal, punk, and rock, their sub-genres included with some of my favorite acts being; Aiden, BabyMetal, Bullet for my Valentine, Cannibal Corpse, Children of Bodom, Destruction, DevilDriver, Escape The Fate, Farewell, My Love, Gavin DeGraw, Get Scared, Hatsune Miku, I Am Ghost, Jamie Cullum, Kittie, Letum Ascensus, LoveHateHero, Modern Day Escape, Motionless In White, Nervosa, New Years Day, One Ok Rock, Operation Downfall, Pierce The Veil, Requiem, Sleeping With Sirens, Skeletonwitch, Suicide Silence, Suicide City, The Casualties, Toxic Holocaust, Unearth, Underoath, Vampires Everywhere, Watch Me Burn, Warbringer etc. As you can see, my music interests is very heavily driven.

I still have morals and values that I look upon and believe in, and would deeply appreciate and be grateful if you could respect those and me. I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs, nor will I be having sexual intercourse prior to marriage.
I do not drive, but do use public transit to get around when needed, otherwise I find myself walking from point A to B at times. I do live at home with my family, where we help one another with our day to day activities in and around the household.
As far as education, going through 12 years of schooling was tough, but what can I say, high school was quite an experience on its own. College on the other hand, gave it a shot but decided, it wasn't for me. So sticking to freelancing is what I plan to do, since it's what I do best.


I have been on this site before, among other dating sites, always getting played with by guys. I am tired of it, I want to find a guy who will take dating seriously, wanting to date, allowing it to develop, leading into a relationship, and wherever it ends up from there. I do not have and I do not want to have any kids, because they are not for me. I would prefer to focus upon my partner, loving and caring for him in whichever way possible, because that's what matters the most, at least to me.

If you think you and I will click, send me a reply, but only if you want too."


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> UPDATED PROFILE:
> 
> "Hello there, name's Natalie;
> 
> ...


I did not read the whole thing, but for what it's worth, your intro and closing both really rub me the wrong way.

"_I still have morals and values that I look upon and believe in, and would deeply appreciate and be grateful if you could respect those and me_."

You "still" have these. So you're suggesting most people, including the readers, don't.

What does it even mean to "look upon" values?
What are these morals and values? Most people believe THEY have morals and values, yet you find they are all different. This just sounds sanctimonious to me.

You would "_deeply appreciate and be grateful if you could respect those and me_" 

We haven't even met yet and already it's all about you and you seem to be assuming that it will take some effort for men to "respect" those and you. 

I read that intro and I know you don't mean it that way but I feel like I'm being chastised for something I haven't had a chance to do yet. I'm not in the dating world, but IMO, you'd be better off stating how you want to know a person and what makes them tick and have a relationship of mutual respect, and that it's important to you to share similar values.

Years ago (like 25) random guys would start chatting me up on AOL occasionally, seeing I was single. I remember one guy who's line was always how women don't appreciate how well he treats them and they are only looking for bad boys. He actually presented himself under 3 different profiles but he was easy to spot because of his writing style, martyr tone, and he used the word "angst" in his profiles.

Anyhow, he was trying to come across as some sensitive guy who had been done so wrong by women all his life but I just wanted to RUN. He seemed weasely, whiny, wimpy and manipulative.

For some reason your first sentence reminded me of him. You are saying what you want, but you sound like you're really making a statement of how horrible most men are which begs the question - what is off with YOUR perception if you find the majority of men need to be told you want to be respected.

As for the last sentence - this is a tiny quibble - but "reply but only if you want to?" Are you emailing this to these people or is it part of your profile? It seems like an odd thing to put in a profile - why would they reply to your profile if they don't want to?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> I still have morals and values that I look upon and believe in, and would deeply appreciate and be grateful if you could respect those and me. I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs, nor will I be having sexual intercourse prior to marriage.
> I do not drive, but do use public transit to get around when needed, otherwise I find myself walking from point A to B at times. I do live at home with my family, where we help one another with our day to day activities in and around the household.
> As far as education, going through 12 years of schooling was tough, but what can I say, high school was quite an experience on its own. College on the other hand, gave it a shot but decided, it wasn't for me. So sticking to freelancing is what I plan to do, since it's what I do best.
> 
> ...


Seriously...look at this profile. Would YOU date YOU?? No one who is a worthwhile partner is going to respond to this Nataly. You really need to have something to offer! STOP TRYING TO DATE! You need to do something with your life first. Get a job, get a driver's license, get your own place! If nothing else, GET INTO SCHOOL. You have nothing to offer a quality man but the "pleasure" of your company. You don't even want kids! That takes you out of the running for any potential family man who wants a stay at home mom for his family.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

Check out this women'a profile she's more detailed than my profile is - [link to someone's personal info removed - Elegirl]

{Do not ever post anyone's personal info on the forum. EleGirl}


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

Since when did foreplay and other sexual acts but no penis in vag equal being a Virgin? Does this mean if one isn't heterosexual that they too are virgins? I'm just curious on the OP thoughts. I don't think a man will find himself lucky if you've given plenty of men oral, hand jobs and whatever else. You're far from the image of "saving myself for marriage". Not that giving it away is something to feel dirty about, just cmon.


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> UPDATED PROFILE:
> 
> "Hello there, name's Natalie;
> I enjoy spending time indoors rather than outdoors, because I enjoy going to concerts, thus headbanging, mosh pits, crowd surfing and stage diving are what I do, the best and the most, since concert attending is what I do, a good portion of my life, hence why music is such a passion and pride of mine,
> ...


Way too long for a brief dating website... Basically get the feel you're young and young minded, naive. Its screams predators to email and meet up... I'd be concerned with sharing Sooo much without a conversation.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

3Xnocharm said:


> Seriously...look at this profile. Would YOU date YOU?? No one who is a worthwhile partner is going to respond to this Nataly. You really need to have something to offer! STOP TRYING TO DATE! You need to do something with your life first. Get a job, get a driver's license, get your own place! If nothing else, GET INTO SCHOOL. You have nothing to offer a quality man but the "pleasure" of your company. You don't even want kids! That takes you out of the running for any potential family man who wants a stay at home mom for his family.


I have a job its freelance writing and photography and it pays me. I do have a driver's license and can drive, just can't afford insurance. And kids aren't for everyone. And NO I am NOT going back to school. What I can offer guys is me being faithful, loyal, not cheat, etc.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> UPDATED PROFILE:
> 
> "Hello there, name's Natalie;
> I enjoy spending time indoors rather than outdoors, because I enjoy going to concerts, thus headbanging, mosh pits, crowd surfing and stage diving are what I do, the best and the most, since concert attending is what I do, a good portion of my life, hence why music is such a passion and pride of mine,
> ...


 @nataly87 Man I wish TAM had mark-ups.

Hello there, the name’s Natalie. 

I am 28-years-old and music and writing are my main passions in life. I am a freelance writer who was had various works published on the web, in magazines, and in print. Photography, yoga, shopping, and reading are just a few in my extensive list of interests and hobbies.

I am looking for a mature guy who takes relationships seriously. I don’t do casual hook-ups so if this is you, please feel free to hit the ‘back’ button. I don’t mind. If you’re looking for someone to cuddle up on the couch watching TV and movies, and playing games with - I’m your girl. 

I have morals and values that are important to me, and my ideal partner would be respectful of those. My relationships are also important to me and I appreciate a man who doesn’t mind taking things slowly. I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. I also do not have or wish to have any kids in the future.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

camerashy said:


> @nataly87 Man I wish TAM had mark-ups.
> 
> Hello there, the name’s Natalie.
> 
> ...


I am not into yoga or meditation.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> I am not into yoga or meditation.


 @nataly87 That's what happens when your profile is too long and people skim read. If I said meditation though, kill me.

Substitute yoga for sports.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Some of those bands might attract the wrong kind of suitors, although explains some the BDSM aspect. (Nothing wrong with that at all)

Why kind of guy attracts you? 
Dark with tattoos or hard working man with no interests in heavy metal but has strong values? 



Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> Some of those bands might attract the wrong kind of suitors, although explains some the BDSM aspect. (Nothing wrong with that at all)
> 
> Why kind of guy attracts you?
> Dark with tattoos or hard working man with no interests in heavy metal but has strong values?
> ...


Both haha. I love metalheads, musicians, rockers, emos, punks, guys who wear dark clothing, band tshirts, make up etc. Or have long hair and like metal. I want a guy that can go with my to concerts every month and will headbang and go into the mosh pit with me etc.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> Both haha. I love metalheads, musicians, rockers, emos, punks, guys who wear dark clothing, band tshirts, make up etc. Or have long hair and like metal. I want a guy that can go with my to concerts every month and will headbang and go into the mosh pit with me etc.


Then that's where you should be meeting men. Those concerts are where you will find your people.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> Both haha. I love metalheads, musicians, rockers, emos, punks, guys who wear dark clothing, band tshirts, make up etc. Or have long hair and like metal. I want a guy that can go with my to concerts every month and will headbang and go into the mosh pit with me etc.


The guys above you mentioned are tortured souls & usually don't conform to "traditional values" such as virginity before marriage. 
It will be difficult to find a perfect blend. 
Have you ever had many conversations with some gig goers at any events? 


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> The guys above you mentioned are tortured souls & usually don't conform to "traditional values" such as virginity before marriage.
> It will be difficult to find a perfect blend.
> Have you ever had many conversations with some gig goers at any events?
> 
> ...


All the guys I find at the shows I go too drink, smoke, and do drugs, and want sex. I want to find one of those guys but one that does not drink, smoke, or does drugs, and can wait to have sex.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> As the title question asks, should I put on my profile that I am a virgin and I am saving myself for marriage to have sex? Or should I save that as a private conversation with the guy I am interested in?
> 
> With me, I rather get all of the important info like that out into the open right off the bat, because right there you can see if the person wants to keep the chat going or cut you off right then and there etc.
> 
> What do you think?


*Quite frankly, M'dear, whether or not you're a virgin is absolutely no one's business other than yours and the man that you are falling in love with and him with you!

Never, knowingly or unknowingly, ever publicize that fact! Period!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> I want to find one of those guys but one that does not drink, smoke, or does drugs, and can wait to have* PIV *sex.


Do you belong to a church? What part of the US do you live in - Northeast, South, Midwest, West Coast. Statistically your regional location will provide statistics on percentage of population that meet your requirements.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> All the guys I find at the shows I go too drink, smoke, and do drugs, and want sex. I want to find one of those guys but one that does not drink, smoke, or does drugs, and can wait to have sex.


Because they're against society's expectations & rules. 
Unless you find an older rocker dude, who's been there, done it, over it & is now clean, sober & nicotine free. 




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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> Do you belong to a church? What part of the US do you live in - Northeast, South, Midwest, West Coast. Statistically your regional location will provide statistics on percentage of population that meet your requirements.


I do not go to church, I am from the West Coast in California Los Angeles County.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

nataly87 said:


> All the guys I find at the shows I go too drink, smoke, and do drugs, and want sex. I want to find one of those guys but one that does not drink, smoke, or does drugs, and can wait to have sex.


Okay...


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> All the guys I find at the shows I go too drink, smoke, and do drugs, and want sex. *I want to find one of those guys but one that does not drink, smoke*, or does drugs, and can wait to have sex.


Like...at all?

I think it's only fair that if you expect your partner to be flexible that you are too.

My H HATES smoking...hates it. And I smoke. As long as I smoke outside and brush my teeth before bed (which I do anyway of course), he can live with it.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

> No, because I suspect that *very few people* you are likely to date share your definition of virgin.





Bibi1031 said:


> Stop exagerating...:grin2:


I know I was exaggerating. Sorry...I'll fix it...


No, because I suspect that not another human being alive is likely to share your definition of virgin.


That better?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

You were born in 1987, right?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> *I have a job its freelance writing and photography and it pays me. *I do have a driver's license and can drive, just can't afford insurance. And kids aren't for everyone. And NO I am NOT going back to school. What I can offer guys is me being faithful, loyal, not cheat, etc.


Well, good for you! 

By the way Turnera recommends Guru - Hire Quality Freelancers And Find Freelance Jobs to get freelance gigs.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

3Xnocharm said:


> Seriously... You don't even want kids! That takes you out of the running for any potential family man who wants a stay at home mom for his family.


That's a good point. If she doesn't want to be a SAHM but she does want some guy to take care of her financially, she'd better be HELLA HOT and snag someone quick, without a prenup, before the bloom is off her rose...

Of course that will be hard to do if she really is relatively uneducated and completely without ambition herself. A quality guy is going to look for some tangible traits in his life partner. Just being fun and having an engaging personality and being willing to dote on him probably won't be interesting enough for most seriously quality guys.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

WorkingWife said:


> .
> 
> Of course that will be hard to do if she really is relatively uneducated and completely without ambition herself.


Now that made me sad.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

Forget the profile description. 

Most guys don't even read it, we just look at your pictures and hope to see cleavage.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Mclane said:


> Forget the profile description.
> 
> Most guys don't even read it, we just look at your pictures and hope to see cleavage.


Your honesty disarms me...I love it!


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

nataly87 said:


> I enjoy spending time indoors rather than outdoors, because I enjoy going to concerts, thus headbanging, mosh pits, crowd surfing and stage diving are what I do, the best and the most, since concert attending is what I do, a good portion of my life, hence why music is such a passion and pride of mine,


This would make me assume you want me to spend loads of money taking you to concerts. I would also expect typical party girl behaviour, ie, sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. So you're leading off by completely misrepresenting yourself. And most guys would only read the first paragraph, if they read anything at all.

You set the tone of a girl who wants all fun, no responsibility right in the first paragraph.



nataly87 said:


> Besides that, I partake in going to conventions, shopping around the mall, browsing through local book, music, and thrift shops and or yard sales/swap meets, if not strolling around town or at a local park. I am always finding myself at home, a good majority of the time as well, surfing the web, watching the latest in TV and movies, playing video games, sports, reading books like various novels, manga, and comic books.


So you're out and about but you're home a lot. You prefer inside activities above, but now you like yard sales, and strolling around parks which are presumably outdoors.

You go to the mall, you watch TV, you play sports, you read books and you walk around town. NONE of this distinguishes you from pretty much any other person.



nataly87 said:


> As well as showcasing my skills in the photography and writing sense, that you can say I am more of a nerdy/geeky type of gal that just loves being engulfed in those activities and their cultures.
> Which brings me to what I do with a lot of my time, as a freelance writer/photographer, I make contributions as far as writing and photography goes, to numerous sources, i.e. websites, zines, and print publications, submitting articles of news stories, reviews of various events, ranging from concerts, conventions, musicals, plays, movies, music, products, sports, TV, etc. I have also conducted interviews with numerous individuals i.e. actors, authors, musicians, etc.


What, the above doesn't take up all of your time already? Now you're making yourself sound like an ambitious, successful, career driven woman, which you've admitted here is far from truth. Any guy who's read this far and meets you and finds out the truth is going to just to dismiss you as a gold digging liar, preferably after he screws you.

Also, is this a dating profile or your resume?



nataly87 said:


> Since we're on the subject, I really love listening to metal, punk, and rock, their sub-genres included with some of my favorite acts being; Aiden, BabyMetal, Bullet for my Valentine, Cannibal Corpse, Children of Bodom, Destruction, DevilDriver, Escape The Fate, Farewell, My Love, Gavin DeGraw, Get Scared, Hatsune Miku, I Am Ghost, Jamie Cullum, Kittie, Letum Ascensus, LoveHateHero, Modern Day Escape, Motionless In White, Nervosa, New Years Day, One Ok Rock, Operation Downfall, Pierce The Veil, Requiem, Sleeping With Sirens, Skeletonwitch, Suicide Silence, Suicide City, The Casualties, Toxic Holocaust, Unearth, Underoath, Vampires Everywhere, Watch Me Burn, Warbringer etc. As you can see, my music interests is very heavily driven.


Whoah, long wall of text list no one is going to read. I can't believe you alphabetized those bands. Just say you like metal/punk/rock and that the last concert you saw was "insert name of ONE band." Update it regularly.



nataly87 said:


> I still have morals and values that I look upon and believe in, and would deeply appreciate and be grateful if you could respect those and me. I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs, nor will I be having sexual intercourse prior to marriage.


Anyone who's managed to force themselves to read this far is going to click away now. There has to be a way to word this to make you sound less like a prude. And it's still more contradictory statements, as most of the rest of your profile described how you like to party.



nataly87 said:


> I do not drive, but do use public transit to get around when needed, otherwise I find myself walking from point A to B at times. I do live at home with my family, where we help one another with our day to day activities in and around the household.


Danger! Spoiled Princess Alert! You don't drive? You live at home? Not really selling yourself very well here.



nataly87 said:


> As far as education, going through 12 years of schooling was tough, but what can I say, high school was quite an experience on its own. College on the other hand, gave it a shot but decided, it wasn't for me. So sticking to freelancing is what I plan to do, since it's what I do best.


Danger! Spoiled Princess Alert! Now you're advertising yourself as less than bright and a quitter.



nataly87 said:


> I have been on this site before, among other dating sites, always getting played with by guys. I am tired of it, I want to find a guy who will take dating seriously, wanting to date, allowing it to develop, leading into a relationship, and wherever it ends up from there. I do not have and I do not want to have any kids, because they are not for me. I would prefer to focus upon my partner, loving and caring for him in whichever way possible, because that's what matters the most, at least to me.
> 
> If you think you and I will click, send me a reply, but only if you want too."


A player is not going to be deterred by you saying "go away." If anything, that's going to spur him on further!

And that last line? "Send me a reply but only if you want to" is so wishy washy and unnecessary. Any guy on a dating site knows how to use it.

My advice? Be brief, touch on the highlights, your employment, your hobbies, your dreams, as best you can. Maybe something like:

_I love punk music and attend lots of concerts (loved Vampires Everywhere last week!), but I'm not a typical party girl, preferring to explore yard sales, browse book stores or curl up on the couch at home instead of the drunken bar scene.

I'm developing myself as an adult, and working on building a career as a freelance writer/photographer. It's not easy to break into, but I'm still optimistic. I don't foresee children in my future, but I'm looking for a man who would bring respect and dedication to an otherwise traditional relationship._


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> This would make me assume you want me to spend loads of money taking you to concerts. I would also expect typical party girl behaviour, ie, sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. So you're leading off by completely misrepresenting yourself. And most guys would only read the first paragraph, if they read anything at all.
> 
> You set the tone of a girl who wants all fun, no responsibility right in the first paragraph.
> 
> ...


1. I am NOT a party girl PERIOD. I have said that I DO NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs, nor do I have sex, nor do I party or hook up. I do partake in the bar scene because a lot of concerts happen at small venues and or bars!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Since when did shopping and hanging out at a mall become hobbies?

My sister listed shopping as a hobby and she's still single.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> Since when did shopping and hanging out at a mall become hobbies?
> 
> My sister listed shopping as a hobby and she's still single.



Listing shopping as a hobby seems pretty well designed to alert potential dates that a woman is high maintenance and expects her man to fund her expensive habits.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I always get annoyed when women say "I'm tired of getting played by guys". 
I was on online dating sites for a time. I went out with a few women, talked to lots. I has a few dates with a few women. I had a few women that seemed really nice. About half were in dire straits financially because of poor choices or just bad luck. I wanted a woman to somewhat need me, but not require me for their existence. I wanted to be needed for my companionship, the things I brought to the table as a man, for security of just knowing I'm there. I didn't want someone to be dependent on me for everything, or someone who I didn't think I'd be happy with sexually. Some of those women were just terrible in bed. Or had bodies that were unattractive to ME. Not necessarily unattractive. Or not as clean as I expect. Ladies, if you want a man to go down on you, clean that thing really well. Smell good, wear clean underwear. Be well groomed. If you're not getting oral, that's a possibility why. If I didn't like the sex and broke things off, am I a player? I'm not super hard to please. I certainly don't think I'm an expert. Would she drop me if she thought I was terrible in bed? I think so. 
I think there are a lot of women that think men are "playing them", and are too self-centered and lack enough introspection to see that the guys are just doing what the girls are--- they're determining if the person they're with are longterm material or not. Yes, we like sex and may have sex with a woman we're attracted to before we've made the decision that they are longterm material or not, and sometimes we discover it after longer than we expect.
It doesn't make a guy a player if he doesn't stay with you, it just means you weren't "the one" for him.
Girls do the exact same thing. Men don't call them "players", we just accept it and move on, as should women. 
The hard fact is that you're likely to meet lots of men until you find "the one". If you're losing a lot of men after they've been with you a while, it could be that you need to work on yourself, or just that it didn't work out. You've got to figure out which one.

OP, you don't have a job or place to live, and don't let a man have piv sex with you. What ARE you willing to offer him other than poor sex and complete dependency? Do you see now why you're having trouble keeping a man, or getting a desirable one?
At least change the dependency thing. A guy can handle no piv for a while if he loves you. He can't carry all the load, however, and be happy about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Mclane said:


> Forget the profile description.
> 
> Most guys don't even read it, we just look at your pictures and hope to see cleavage.


I love profiles that include the standard "not looking for a hook-up" and "hoping to just find a good, decent gentlemen" - yet the girl is half naked, laying on a bearskin rug, looking seductively into the camera in all of her pics.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

nataly87 said:


> 1. I am NOT a party girl PERIOD. I have said that I DO NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs, nor do I have sex, nor do I party or hook up. I do partake in the bar scene because a lot of concerts happen at small venues and or bars!


The guys advice was "spot on", about as good as it gets, actually. I was impressed. You really should listen to that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

nataly87 said:


> Both haha. I love metalheads, musicians, rockers, emos, punks, guys who wear dark clothing, band tshirts, make up etc. Or have long hair and like metal. I want a guy that can go with my to concerts every month and will headbang and go into the mosh pit with me etc.


If you can stand European style opera metal (Nightwish) or real old style punk (The Stranglers) we may have a match . My wife is still complaining about the Nightwish concert in Columbus Ohio last March. Add a 25 lb cat to the mix.

Seriously, don't make looks and music your main selection criteria. That's where college or work help in the dating world, preselection is key.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Personal said:


> Okay...


Why do I want to kiss this unicorn? 
Oh dear, I may need to start a thread.
"Is it cheating if I kiss cuddly toys around the house?"
The cat may spill the beans, he's been blackmailing me all day saying if I don't give him more food, he will tell on me! 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

MrsAldi said:


> Why do I want to kiss this unicorn?
> Oh dear, I may need to start a thread.
> "Is it cheating if I kiss cuddly toys around the house?"
> The cat may spill the beans, he's been blackmailing me all day saying if I don't give him more food, he will tell on me!
> ...


Nataly, kiss the cat instead. :grin2: 


Oh sorry MrsAldi, I thought you were Nataly getting ready to start another thread.>


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> Nataly, kiss the cat instead. :grin2:
> 
> 
> Oh sorry MrsAldi, I thought you were Nataly getting ready to start another thread.>


I really like that unicorn!! It's so cute. 
I feel in love with a life sized penguin cuddle toy at Christmas, when we went back to buy it, it was gone  


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

MrsAldi said:


> I really like that unicorn!! It's so cute.
> I feel in love with a life sized penguin cuddle toy at Christmas, when we went back to buy it, it was gone


Why am I suddenly reminded of that CSI episode about the murder at the Plushies & Furries convention?


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Rowan said:


> Why am I suddenly reminded of that CSI episode about the murder at the Plushies & Furries convention?


Fur & Loathing....

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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

MrsAldi said:


> Fur & Loathing....


That's the one!


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

MrsAldi said:


> I really like that unicorn!! It's so cute.
> I feel in love with a life sized penguin cuddle toy at Christmas, when we went back to buy it, it was gone
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Look up Melissa and Doug plush toys...


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Rowan said:


> I think that stating on a dating profile that you are a virgin will be extremely attractive to two particular, and very dissimilar, groups of men.
> 
> The first group will be very conservative religious gentlemen who are also waiting for marriage. They are likely to expect something a little more reserved than a very adventurous, BDSM-inclined, technical virgin, however. They are likely to be a little put off by the reality of your sexual history.
> 
> ...


There's a third group, as my DD found out three years ago: the low-self-esteem emotional abuser who 'needs' a virgin so he has no competition against which to be judged.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Nataly,

Someone just gave you a detailed, and quite excellent analysis of how to improve your profile. 

And your sole response is to defensively complain you aren't a party girl. 

And I admit that you are beginning to make my 'contradiction management' module light up.

Originally you didn't have a job and didn't have the experience to get a job. 

Now - presto chango - you are Annie Liebovitz





nataly87 said:


> 1. I am NOT a party girl PERIOD. I have said that I DO NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs, nor do I have sex, nor do I party or hook up. I do partake in the bar scene because a lot of concerts happen at small venues and or bars!


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Wow. Her field of potential suitors is extremely small, and shrinking with every "requirement". A little more flexibility would be in order if she really wants to find a man, in my opinion.

To answer the original question: it's nobody's business that you are a virgin, and for God's sake do not mention on a public site. The fact that you are a (technical) virgin is something that should only be brought up AFTER you've started dating somebody who interests you.

Good luck in finding somebody who suits all of your "requirements", especially in the social circles you are running in. It would most certainly be an anomaly to find someone that fits all the "criteria" you've set, even in much bigger social circles.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

nataly87 said:


> 1. I am NOT a party girl PERIOD. I have said that I DO NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs, nor do I have sex, nor do I party or hook up. I do partake in the bar scene because a lot of concerts happen at small venues and or bars!


That was my whole point. In your first paragraph, the only one you're mostly guaranteed people will read, you talk about headbanging, mosh pits, crowd surfing and stage diving. That gives a strong impression of you being a party girl, presumably into sex, drugs and rock'n'roll.

It isn't until much later in your profile, long past where most guys will stop reading, that you mention otherwise. If you're really a writer, you need to pay more attention to the messages you're sending out.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> That was my whole point. In your first paragraph, the only one you're mostly guaranteed people will read, you talk about headbanging, mosh pits, crowd surfing and stage diving. That gives a strong impression of you being a party girl, presumably into sex, drugs and rock'n'roll.
> 
> It isn't until much later in your profile, long past where most guys will stop reading, that you mention otherwise. If you're really a writer, you need to pay more attention to the messages you're sending out.


FU. I am NOT a party girl damnit. I headbang, mosh pit, crowd surf, stage dive because its fun. AND NOT a lot of females partake in that, because they are sissies. I LOVE the enviroment of the concert and doing these things because it is fun.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

I UPDATED my profile AGAIN NEW -

"Hello there, the name’s Natalie.

I have morals and values that are important to me, and my ideal partner would be respectful of those. My relationships are also important to me and I appreciate a man who doesn’t mind taking things slowly. I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. I also do not have or wish to have any kids in the future. I do not drive, but do use public transit to get around when needed, otherwise I find myself walking from point A to B at times. 

I do live at home with my family, where we help one another with our day to day activities in and around the household. As far as education, going through 12 years of schooling was tough, but what can I say, high school was quite an experience on its own. College on the other hand, gave it a shot but decided, it wasn't for me. So sticking to freelancing is what I plan to do, since it's what I do best.

I am looking for a mature guy who takes relationships seriously. I don’t do casual hook-ups so if this is you, please feel free to hit the ‘back’ button. I don’t mind. If you’re looking for someone to cuddle up on the couch watching TV and movies, and playing games with - I’m your girl.

I enjoy spending time indoors rather than outdoors, because I enjoy going to concerts, thus headbanging, mosh pits, crowd surfing and stage diving are what I do, the best and the most, since concert attending is what I do, a good portion of my life, hence why music is such a passion and pride of mine.

Besides that, I partake in going to conventions where I cosplay from time to time, shop around the mall, browsing through local book, music, and thrift shops and or yard sales/swap meets, if not strolling around town or at a local park. I am always finding myself at home, a good majority of the time, surfing the web, watching the latest in TV and movies, playing video games, sports, reading books like various novels, manga, and comic books. As well as showcasing my skills in the photography and writing sense, that you can say, I am more of a nerdy/geeky type of gal that just loves being engulfed in those activities and their cultures.

Which brings me, to what I do with a lot of my time, as a freelance writer/photographer, I make contributions to numerous sources, i.e. websites, zines, and print publications, submitting articles of news stories, reviews of various events, ranging from concerts, conventions, musicals, plays, movies, music, products, sports, TV, etc. I have also conducted interviews with numerous individuals i.e. actors, authors, musicians, etc. Don't believe me, will go see what I have done right here, NataliezWorld.com right now!

Since we're on the subject, I really love listening to metal, punk, and rock, their sub-genres included with some of my favorite acts being; Aiden, BabyMetal, Bullet for my Valentine, Cannibal Corpse, Children of Bodom, Destruction, DevilDriver, Escape The Fate, Farewell, My Love, Gavin DeGraw, Get Scared, Hatsune Miku, I Am Ghost, Jamie Cullum, Kittie, Letum Ascensus, LoveHateHero, Modern Day Escape, Motionless In White, Nervosa, New Years Day, One Ok Rock, Operation Downfall, Pierce The Veil, Requiem, Sleeping With Sirens, Skeletonwitch, Suicide Silence, Suicide City, The Casualties, Toxic Holocaust, Unearth, Underoath, Vampires Everywhere, Watch Me Burn, Warbringer etc. As you can see, my music interests is very heavily driven.

Hope to hear from you!"


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> FU. I am NOT a party girl damnit. I headbang, mosh pit, crowd surf, stage dive because its fun. AND NOT a lot of females partake in that, because they are sissies. I LOVE the enviroment of the concert and doing these things because it is fun.


YOU calling people sissy?? LOL! I bet the other girls are too busy having fun partying and having sex with their boyfriends to care about whether they crowd surf at a concert...


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> I UPDATED my profile AGAIN NEW -
> 
> "Hello there, the name’s Natalie.
> 
> ...


When I read this, I see a big wall of disjointed blah blah...hardly a reflection of, or hopefully not a reflection of your skill as a professional journalist.

As someone who did spend some time with online dating and looking at numerous profiles, there really isn't anything here all that special, or that sets this profile apart from countless others.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

nataly87 said:


> FU. I am NOT a party girl damnit. I headbang, mosh pit, crowd surf, stage dive because its fun. AND NOT a lot of females partake in that, because they are sissies. I LOVE the enviroment of the concert and doing these things because it is fun.


Are you serious? Just because you failed to understand someone's feedback (which, IMO, was helpful) is no cause for cursing them out!!!
Me thinks all of these threads initiated under a bridge...


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

How many times have you redone your dating profile? Again, too long and like another poster said all I hear is blah blah.. It's too much and doesn't draw any interest. You basically say you're 28 and live with your parents? Good luck.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Natalie, the people on TAM are only trying to help you. You're asking for advice, but you are not taking it. Why even ask if you don't plan on implementing it?

Don't put personal experiences on a public site if you don't want it scrutinized, or the error of your thinking pointed out. Either take the advice given, or don't, but don't take it personally when somebody points out the mistakes you are making. You say you are mature, but your posts say otherwise. Cursing, and putting down other people is not exactly lady-like, nor is it Christian-like. It's actually just the opposite. You can't have it both ways.

I really do hope you find your unicorn!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Yeah, the profile is too long, too boring, and too much info. 
You don't need to say you live at home w your parents and don't have a car or a job. They'll discover that when they pick you up and hopefully then, you'll use your winning personAlity to win their heart.

It's just my perspective. Don't obfuscate the truth, but don't tell your life history on a profile, either.

I may have to check out nataliezworld, lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

Forget the profile text.

Post a picture like this, taken from above, showing your attributes.

That will get you plenty of responses.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Mclane said:


> Forget the profile text.
> 
> Post a picture like this, taken from above, showing your attributes.
> 
> That will get you plenty of responses.


Meh. Yeah, there'll be lots of interest, but only in the short term. One thing I did learn during my bit on the dating scene is that hot chicks who have actually have their crap together are a dime a dozen, so even being hot really isn't enough unless you have plenty to back it up, because there is always someone to be the next one.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

notmyrealname4 said:


> I notice a beautiful girl.
> 
> Then I notice the crucifix (lol)
> 
> Then I notice how messy her room appears to be.


The second thing I notice is the cookie monster shorts...

Somehow missed the crucifix.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

nataly87 you are some piece of work. Why are you here on TAM? I seriously am curious. Because you don't seem to actually want any advice.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

nice777guy said:


> The second thing I notice is the cookie monster shorts...
> 
> Somehow missed the crucifix.


Cookie Monster eating "cookie" was the first thing I noticed...and imma gurrrlllll :surprise:

Then I noticed the big, pretty blue eyes!


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

I give up, I am done period.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

'''


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

There I went and UPDATED my profile YET AGAIN 

"Hello there,

I have morals and values that are important to me, and my ideal partner would be respectful of those. My relationships are also important to me and I appreciate a man who doesn’t mind taking things slowly. I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. I also do not have or wish to have any kids in the future.

I am looking for a mature guy who takes relationships seriously. I don’t do casual hook-ups so if this is you, please feel free to hit the ‘back’ button. I don’t mind. If you’re looking for someone to cuddle up on the couch listening to tunes, watching TV and movies, and playing games with - I’m your girl."


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

@nataly87, why not just stick with one paragraph.

"Hi, I'm Natalie. I'm 28 years old, looking for a mature man who enjoys a variety of music, including, but not limited to, metal. I am not a party girl, but I like to have fun. Message me, if you would like to get to know me."

Not necessarily that, word for word, but on that order. You can get to know the other details about each other as you chat.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Omg just make it stop. 

Im out.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

3Xnocharm said:


> Omg just make it stop.
> 
> Im out.


You'll be back...

:grin2:


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

I think that you are splitting hairs about virginity. I'm with the folks who think that you are not a virgin, but only because I think that your sexual experiences are beyond that. However, I also think that if you want to save vaginal intercourse for a permanent and committed relationship, then more power to you. 

If you are finding that being sexual with men is causing problems then maybe you need to think about holding off on the other sexual behavior before marriage too. You already know that if you're being sexual with a man, then he's going to want to bed you. Be realistic. If your first priority is marriage, then acknowledge that you love sex but keep a lid on it until you're both ready to "go all of the way". Just don't act surprised when a man who's seen you behaving sexually wants to bed you, no matter what he agrees to when he's trying to get to know you. 

Anyway, I don't think that you should mention your limit in your ad. That can be discussed once you've established that a man is dating material, and possible marriage material. I like Maricha75's ad. I also took a moment to simplify your ad down to something that I think is easier to read, but has more detail. Then again I haven't dated in over 20 years. IMHO you had too many details and didn't leave any mystery. Save something for them to learn on a first date. Feel free to use it or not. 

_I'm a woman who knows what she wants from love and life. I am looking for a mature guy who knows that not every date is serious, but takes relationships seriously when things go to the next level. I hope to marry someday, and prefer to date men who are ready to settle down when they find the right girl. We'll take things slow, but you'll definitely find that I am worth the time to get to know.

I'm a girl who combines traditional values with a fun attitude. My favorite bands are Aiden, BabyMetal, and Bullet for my Valentine. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs but I know how to have fun. I love comics and cosplay, music, headbanging, mosh pits, and crowd surfing but also love playing games or cuddling up on the couch watching a favorite movie or TV show with my man. And, of course what girl doesn't love shopping! I love browsing through local book, music, and thrift shops and love a good yard sales or swap meet,

I can be a geek sometimes. I am a writer and sometimes showcase my skills in photography. I submit to websites, zines, print publications, the news, and like to write reviews of local events. I would love to show you my work over coffee as we get to know each other.

I am loyal and love my family, but I do not have or want kids and know that won't change. If you secretly want your own someday, then we won't be a good match. If you're looking for a girl with traditional values and knows how to have a good time, then write back. I don't do casual hook-ups, so please don't ask.

Hope to hear from you!_


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> There I went and UPDATED my profile YET AGAIN
> 
> "Hello there,
> 
> ...


As a young male that I like to think probably has some of the qualities on your check list for a future boyfriend (professional, own place, kind of close to your age, tall, in-shape, above median income, and we'll just ignore everything else) allow me to poke the holes in your paragraph:

You don't drink. So we won't be going to bars. And where do I spend most of my time? (besides the office/my apartment) A bar. That is always my first date go-to. So...Slide left based on that. 

Also, you state you don't want kids? Are you 100% sure about that? 

And finally, as a mid 20 something year-old, reading _"If you’re looking for someone to cuddle up on the couch listening to tunes, watching TV and movies, and playing games with - I’m your girl."_ turns into "You have to warm me up before I'll have sex."

Now, if we do go out, I'll ask what you do for living? Where do you live? Where did you go to school? What do you do for hobbies? 

Saying you live with your parents and your hobbies are posting on this website are not great answers. 
So you'll want to come up with some answers. Like, why you live with your parents, and why you don't have a degree or real job. 

Think of this as getting a job. You're just throwing your resume out there. 
The actual date is the first interview. And so far, I have a feeling you won't be getting a call back.


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> "Hello there,
> 
> I have morals and values that are important to me, and my ideal partner would be respectful of those. My relationships are also important to me and I appreciate a man who doesn’t mind taking things slowly. I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. I also do not have or wish to have any kids in the future.
> 
> I am looking for a mature guy who takes relationships seriously. I don’t do casual hook-ups so if this is you, please feel free to hit the ‘back’ button. I don’t mind. If you’re looking for someone to cuddle up on the couch listening to tunes, watching TV and movies, and playing games with - I’m your girl."


You must have posted this while I was writing  I don't think that you should begin an ad with all of the things that you won't do. You have to give your reader a little taste of who you are, and get their interests. Write to the men that you want to answer your ad, not the ones that you are trying to get rid of. You're going to get the orbiters anyway, so don't waste all of your time writing to them. You'll just turn off the men that you want to read and respond. The bottom feeders should be pretty easy to weed out.

Good luck


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

Here's another variation on my profile

"Hello there,

I have morals and values that are important to me, and my ideal partner would be respectful of those. My relationships are also important to me and I appreciate a man who doesn’t mind taking things slowly. I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. I also do not have or wish to have any kids in the future. I am looking for a mature guy who takes relationships seriously. I don’t do casual hook-ups so if this is you, please feel free to hit the ‘back’ button. I don’t mind. 

Music is a big passion of mine listening to metal, punk, and rock, going to shows every so often, is what I live for. So much so, that it's what I am doing with my life, as a freelancer, writing and photography covering not only concerts, but other events i.e. conventions, expos, premieres, etc. Aside from that, I enjoy watching TV shows, movies, playing various types of games, reading, shopping, etc."


I just want my profile to WOW guys and have them contact me, instead of blocking, deleting their profiles, or saying harsh things to me.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Broken at 20 said:


> As a young male that I like to think probably has some of the qualities on your check list for a future boyfriend (professional, own place, kind of close to your age, tall, in-shape, above median income, and we'll just ignore everything else) allow me to poke the holes in your paragraph:
> 
> You don't drink. So we won't be going to bars. And where do I spend most of my time? (besides the office/my apartment) A bar. That is always my first date go-to. So...Slide left based on that.
> 
> ...


So, what I am reading is that if her intent is to weed out people like you... then it worked. Good to know if I am ever in the dating pool again.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> So, what I am reading is that if her intent is to weed out people like you... then it worked. Good to know if I am ever in the dating pool again.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


Lol. You make a good point but may have forgotten two things:

You're not 28. There is an age difference between you and OP. And I doubt you would be looking to attract a man in his late 20's-early 30's if you got back into dating. 

Secondly, yes. 
If you wish to filter out the vast majority of young men, you'll do an excellent job. If you're looking for dates, you might want to adjust your strategy.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

UGH man I give up no matter which way I put my damn profile no one approves of it. I just give up on life and I am going to go kill myself bye world.


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

Since you seem to be serious about getting a good profile together, here are my thoughts.

_I have morals and values that are important to me, and my ideal partner would be respectful of those. _
Translation : I'm a prude. I have a laundry list of things that you are going to need to watch out for if you date me. You need to tow the line. We already know that you're not a prude, and I don't think that you are trying to say this.

_My relationships are also important to me and I appreciate a man who doesn’t mind taking things slowly. _
Translation : You aren't going to get laid, and if you ever do it's going to be missionary with the lights off. We already know that you love sex (without penetration), so this just sends the wrong message.

_I am Straight Edge, meaning that I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs._
Translation : I have rules. What are you looking for in a man? Is it okay if they smoke or drink, like the occasional doobie?

_ I also do not have or wish to have any kids in the future. I am looking for a mature guy who takes relationships seriously._ 
It's great to let a man know that you don't want kids, but this is out of place.

_I don’t do casual hook-ups so if this is you, please feel free to hit the ‘back’ button. I don’t mind. _
Translation : I don't do casual sex, but I will have sex once we get to know each other. This isn't true. You want to save at least vaginal sex for marriage. Plus, guys who want to get in your panties aren't going to read this or care. It's just a standard disclaimer to let decent guys know that you aren't a ****. Put it at the end.

_Music is a big passion of mine listening to metal, punk, and rock, going to shows every so often, is what I live for. So much so, that it's what I am doing with my life, as a freelancer, writing and photography covering not only concerts, but other events i.e. conventions, expos, premieres, etc. Aside from that, I enjoy watching TV shows, movies, playing various types of games, reading, shopping, etc._
Don't try to sum up your life in one paragraph. More importantly, don't define yourself in one paragraph. You don't want guys who read this to think that this is all that you care about, or that you aren't willing to explore new things.

Just my thoughts.


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

Of course not. Because anyone you will date may not be a virgin themselves but he could be willing to take yours. That's a private conversation topic you would have with someone you agree to meet with.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

nice777guy said:


> Not on a dating profile. Hopefully they can get a feel for who you are through chatting / talking.


Ha ha yeah they can probably get a feel  but there is a limit with OP. The limit is just confusing to many of us.


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

Temper tantrum aside, this is a very good point. I think that women get so many bottom feeders, junk pictures, and trolls that it's easy to over-compensate and start writing to weed out instead of draw people in. I think that the bottom feeders are probably just going to see "female" and stop reading, so IMHO its best to try to get the "right" men's interest first, add a little bit to temper expectations and let men know that she is actually thinking about what she wants, and let them know that she's actually looking for some fun in a relationship.

No matter what she writes, she's going to need to weed out the bottom feeders and hopefully the men she wants will write something back that gives her a reason to contact them, including that they want a real relationship.

My $.02



Maricha75 said:


> So, what I am reading is that if her intent is to weed out people like you... then it worked. Good to know if I am ever in the dating pool again.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> I just want my profile to WOW guys and have them contact me, instead of blocking, deleting their profiles, or saying harsh things to me.


There may be other reasons that this is happening to you.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Mclane said:


> There may be other reasons that this is happening to you.


Cuckoos Nest perhaps. 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

nataly87 said:


> UGH man I give up no matter which way I put my damn profile no one approves of it. I just give up on life and I am going to go kill myself bye world.


LOOK AT ME! Drama much?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

nataly87 said:


> I UPDATED my profile AGAIN NEW -


nataly, I'm a writer, too - 26 years. I hope you don't mind, but I took a stab at your profile and I think it provides all the information you want to convey, but in a more complimentary - and less negative (and shorter) - way.



> Hello there, I’m Natalie.
> I’m looking for a mature guy who takes relationships seriously and is ready to take things slowly. But I love having fun (without alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes), so I hope you’re ready to go to concerts, play (some) video games, and attend conventions and do cosplay.
> I’m not looking to have kids any time in the future, but relationships are important to me. I’m looking for someone who can handle some cuddling up on the couch watching TV and movies or playing (some) video games - or jammin’ to music, which is a real passion for me.
> I prefer to walk or take transit, I’m saving money by living with family, but I also love my career. I’m a photographer and a writer (self-taught, as college rigidity wasn’t my thing). As a freelancer, I contribute to many sources (websites, zines, print publications) and produce reviews and interviews with and news stories about actors, authors, musicians and other fabulous people - you can see my work at NataliesWorld.com.
> ...


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> UGH man I give up no matter which way I put my damn profile no one approves of it. I just give up on life and I am going to go kill myself bye world.


 @nataly87

Comments about suicide are no joke. You are violating the forum guidelines in a very serious manner. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/forum-guidelines/2-posting-guidelines-forum-rules.html

*3. If you make suicidal / homicidal statements on this website, and it is brought to our attention, we may choose to notify your internet service provider and / or police and provide them with any information we have to identify you with.
*


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Well, nobody has said it, so I will. Nataly, I think you and SMG are close relatives, bosom buddies, or one and the same. All of a sudden we have SMG on The Social Spot (who moved from the General Relationship Forum awhile back), and then you appeared here. Two many similarities in word phrasing, ignoring advice, and just posting crap for the sake of shaking things up and getting attention.

I take anyone who threatens suicide seriously, and I hope the mods here will consider yanking this thread. I'd also suggest they look at both user's ISP's to see if they are one and the same. Probably not if they're not on a laptop/notebook, but one never knows.

Threatening suicide because we don't want to read your umpteenth long-winded online dating profile? You are either totally BOGUS, or you are a deeply disturbed person.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Prodigal said:


> Threatening suicide because we don't want to read your umpteenth long-winded online dating profile? You are either totally BOGUS, or you are a deeply disturbed person.


I vote for both...:grin2:


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

I am sorry, I just don't like it when people are mean to me, and all of you have been, when I am just trying to be myself.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

Anyone else thinking @nataly87 and @SMG15 are a match made in Heaven?

Edited to add

Oops someone beat me to it. 

I guess it's that obvious.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

nataly87 said:


> I am sorry, I just don't like it when people are mean to me, and all of you have been, when I am just trying to be myself.


One of the best steps you can take for yourself Is to stop seeking approval and stop worrying about other opinions. 

Right or wrong, we are all clowns in this here circus called life. I understand the part about being sensitive, I have daughters just a little younger than you. 

Some of us creative types need to learn to accept other opinions. Accept as in listen politely and run them thru our brain food processor. Then choose what we can take.

Like your photography and writing, my work is out in the public. I help design electronic gadgets. The reviews I read of my work often stress me out. But I read them, line by line, and make sure something useful comes out. My older girl is a Design student. Her field is just as brutal. But she listens and moves forward.

So, here's what I would suggest. Go thru the thread and identify any common element suggested. For example, many people pointed out the inconsistency of liking the heavy metal party scene and traditional values. Maybe you can prioritize the two accordingly. 

People are like products in a sense, we have brand names and branding attributes. Discover and define yours. You may have to develop and reposition yourself to make the best of your abilities and interests. Being in a relationship is great, but doing something for yourself is best. 

And so on...


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Mclane said:


> Anyone else thinking @nataly87 and @SMG15 are a match made in Heaven?
> 
> Edited to add
> 
> ...


I dunno if made in heaven...LOL

To all, except Nataly and SMG


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

nataly87 said:


> As the title question asks, should I put on my profile that I am a virgin and I am saving myself for marriage to have sex? Or should I save that as a private conversation with the guy I am interested in?
> 
> With me, I rather get all of the important info like that out into the open right off the bat, because right there you can see if the person wants to keep the chat going or cut you off right then and there etc.
> 
> What do you think?


No. Because you're not.


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

Why is a dating profile a priority over trying to be a capable self sufficient adult, moving out of your parents home? You're 28 and please stop throwing around you're a virgin... Clearly you don't understand what saving yourself, mouth and or other sexual acts until marriage means.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Broken at 20 said:


> Lol. You make a good point but may have forgotten two things:
> 
> You're not 28. There is an age difference between you and OP. And I doubt you would be looking to attract a man in his late 20's-early 30's if you got back into dating.
> 
> ...


See, if I was looking to date, I would be looking for someone willing to wait until married to have sex, and one who has had very few previous partners. And, yes, even at 40+, that is the only suitor I would accept. Widower/divorced I would be OK with. But someone who insisted on "test driving" would be scratched off the list, immediately.

I have not forgotten that she is 28. My point is thst, whether I am 20 or 50, I would use the same standard to look for dates. I won't date a smoker, nor anyone who drinks ANY alcohol, nor anyone who uses drugs. On that, I completely agree with Nataly. As far as looking for someone in his early 30s... LMAO! My husband is 34! My sister is married to a man 9 years younger than she is. So, yes, early 30s would be in the mix. Why would you assume I wouldn't be with someone that much younger?

But then, I married a man who was a virgin when we met, and I am glad he was. So my views on the subject are "odd" to most. 

All of this is moot, really, since I am married and not looking lol. But making assumptions about someone because she is roughly 10 years older than the OP is a big no no. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

What I cannot fathom is why natalya and SMG are continuing to be allowed to post????? Mods? I have reported numerous posts of theirs, and I am sure I'm not the only one. Neither of them are married or even ENGAGED. This is not a dating advice site, it's supposed to me a MARRIAGE advice site. Why do you continue to allow these two needy immature individuals to be here??? And I would also be interested to know if you've checked whether they're the same person.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Hope1964 said:


> What I cannot fathom is why natalya and SMG are continuing to be allowed to post????? Mods? I have reported numerous posts of theirs, and I am sure I'm not the only one. *Neither of them are married or even ENGAGED. * *This is not a dating advice site, *it's supposed to me a MARRIAGE advice site. Why do you continue to allow these two needy immature individuals to be here??? And I would also be interested to know if you've checked whether they're the same person.


QFT

Be patient...it will get resolved.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> What I cannot fathom is why natalya and SMG are continuing to be allowed to post????? Mods? I have reported numerous posts of theirs, and I am sure I'm not the only one. Neither of them are married or even ENGAGED. This is not a dating advice site, it's supposed to me a MARRIAGE advice site. Why do you continue to allow these two needy immature individuals to be here??? And I would also be interested to know if you've checked whether they're the same person.


Not to mention that crystal chick.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

pidge70 said:


> Not to mention that crystal chick.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


oh yeah, that one that is always asking for rides or posts about the dumbest things. WTF???? 

You are soooo right. Might be the third in this multiple personality troll trilogy :surprise:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

nataly87 said:


> UGH man I give up no matter which way I put my damn profile no one approves of it. I just give up on life and I am going to go kill myself bye world.


Have you used suicide threats with your boyfriend(s)? My bet is that since you did this here, you have used made similar threats before. Suicide threats are a form of serious emotional abuse. 

If you ever do this again on TAM, don't be surprised if the police show up at your door and you end up somewhere under suicide watch.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> If you ever do this again on TAM,


Why is she being given a CHANCE to do ANYTHING 'again' on TAM?????


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

A quick Google search of a particularly detailed portion of her "original profile" resulted in a San Fernando Valley 'women seeking men' craigslist ad that was flagged for removal by craigslist several days ago. 

Nataly, most of us here wouldn't think of craigslist as a dating site, but different strokes for different folks...and you certainly are a different breed entirely.

As for the other implications, do with that what you will mods.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Thank you mods!!!!!!!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

One thing to contemplate... if you don't like a poster, think they are a troll, etc... don't post on their thread. Leave the posting on some threads to those who seem to connect with the OP.

If no one posted on these threads, the thread would die.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> If no one posted on these threads, the thread would die.


Yes, but then they just all post on each others threads.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> Yes, but then they just all post on each others threads.


Well, at least you would not have to read it if you ignore the threads.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I know. It's kinda hard to ignore all the new topics with titles that make me want to poke my eyes out, though. If they're just BANNED then it all goes away


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

Hope1964 said:


> I know. It's kinda hard to ignore all the new topics with titles that make me want to poke my eyes out


That's by design. Just wait until school lets out.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

temp


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Hope1964 said:


> Yes, but then they just all post on each others threads.


That time has come. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/social-spot/337545-ladies-please-dont-create-dating-profile-if-you-have-no-job.html


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Hopefully, she'll learn not to say 'FU' to fellow members before she returns. Not that I haven't wanted to say it a time or two or a hundred, but something tells me that it's against forum rules.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> Hopefully, she'll learn *not to say 'FU' to fellow members before she returns.*


Wouldn't that be a type of cruel teasing...she is a "virgin" after all. >

Oh, never mind; she didn't say ef-me right?:wink2:


That would be against forum rules and not teasing at all.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

Personal said:


> Okay...


Is that the virgin from Bachelor? We called her the '****ty virgin'. :grin2:


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Did she cuss people out? She was quite stubborn unfortunately, and that isn't generally fixed with a ban. Let's hope she reevaluates...


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

If you put virgin on a public dating profile you'll certain get a lot of traffic . But you'll pull the biggest freak-shows out of the woodwork, I think a woman auctioned off her virginity for over a million dollars a couple years ago, so there's definitely a market out there.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

john117 said:


> Did she cuss people out? She was quite stubborn unfortunately, and that isn't generally fixed with a ban. Let's hope she reevaluates...


See post #103 to a member who gave her good advice.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Tron said:


> A quick Google search of a particularly detailed portion of her "original profile" resulted in a San Fernando Valley 'women seeking men' craigslist ad that was flagged for removal by craigslist several days ago.
> 
> Nataly,* most of us here wouldn't think of craigslist as a dating site, but different strokes for different folks...and you certainly are a different breed entirely.*
> 
> As for the other implications, do with that what you will mods.


And certainly not virgins who plan to remain so.

My suggestion to Nataly is to auction her virginity on ebay. It hasn't been done in a few years. The last one got a US$4 million offer.

This may help you to get out of your parents' house.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Fun and games aside, mods, seriously. Please tell me why SMG and this natalya are not being permanently banned?? Even on my ignore list their idiotic pathetic thread titles still appear for me. If the owners want to run a dating site, maybe they should let those of us who are honestly trying to help REAL people with REAL marriage problems know, so we can go elsewhere.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> Fun and games aside, mods, seriously. Please tell me why SMG and this natalya are not being permanently banned?? Even on my ignore list their idiotic pathetic thread titles still appear for me. If the owners want to run a dating site, maybe they should let those of us who are honestly trying to help REAL people with REAL marriage problems know, so we can go elsewhere.


If you are going to ban unmarrieds from seeking advice on this forum youre going be banning a whole HOST of people. You do realize there's many many many posts on here seeking relationship advice who are not married?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I'm not married😋
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

thefam said:


> If you are going to ban unmarrieds from seeking advice on this forum youre going be banning a whole HOST of people. You do realize there's many many many posts on here seeking relationship advice who are not married?


Where did I say we should ban people just because they're not married?????



Evinrude58 said:


> I'm not married😋
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And you don't spam the forum with idiotic pathetic threads either.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Hope1964 said:


> And you don't spam the forum with idiotic pathetic threads either.


Ain't that the truth. I think it's worse than a troll that does manage to engage us in his false ailments and we are eager to help. The thread may be very long, but some advice helps those that can't put their problems out publicly yet. 

But these peeps on the other hand, just clog the drains with their ridiculous crap!

Plumbers, pull the plug!:grin2:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Evinrude58 said:


> I'm not married😋


I'm not married. >


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

Same, Not Married !


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Hope1964 said:


> Where did I say we should ban people just because they're not married?????


I know what you meant in your post " they should let those of us who are honestly trying to help REAL people with REAL *marriage problems* know, so we can go elsewhere."

Some felt left out because you only mentioned the "marriage problems" and not the "relationship problems", which THEY took to mean that they should not be here if they do not have a marriage problems.

Your sentence did not exclude unmarried people, so you said nothing wrong. Just an example of people reading too much into a sentence. 

No offense meant to anyone.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

blueinbr said:


> I know what you meant in your post " they should let those of us who are honestly trying to help REAL people with REAL *marriage problems* know, so we can go elsewhere."
> 
> Some felt left out because you only mentioned the "marriage problems" and not the "relationship problems", which THEY took to mean that they should not be here if they do not have a marriage problems.
> 
> ...


I don't think anyone was offended. Instead just pointing out that there are a lot of people who are not married posting here. And these unmarried people often ask for input/advice about dating.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

camerashy said:


> Have I missed something? How can someone be a virgin but not a virgin? (Man I must be getting old).


lol


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