# The Pendulum Swings



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Here I am a year post divorce. I know my past life is over. I know there is no going back. Everything I knew is gone. 
Some days I am so optimistic about my future. I know that I am now out of a marriage where I had become very unhappy and had just settled into existing while waiting to die.My kids are self sufficient, independent adults who no longer need my time or money, which is a good thing. I know I am free to pursue anything I want to pursue whether it be flying lessons, hang gliding, business ventures, relationships, travels, or anything my mind can imagine. I can look for whatever I want knowing the only person I have to answer to is myself. 
But still, I have some days when the demons pop up. I am usually able to tame them. I recognize that they are useless thoughts and emotions that do nothing for me. I realize that no one is coming to save me. That my future is totally dependent on my actions and that I can be as happy and fulfilled as I desire to be, all I have to do is act. Yet those thoughts keep coming back.
I definitely feel the momentum moving to the future away from the past. I guess I just need to be more patient. 
How do you deal with the demons?


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

You are still grieving, the demons as you call them, are still there helping you through the process. Believe it or not they are needed. You cant just jerk someone to their new life overnight. Your mind is getting you there with a stair step process and maybe a little two steps forward one step back. Don't tame, embrace it!

Dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Dude007 said:


> You are still grieving, the demons as you call them, are still there helping you through the process. Believe it or not they are needed. You cant just jerk someone to their new life overnight. Your mind is getting you there with a stair step process and maybe a little two steps forward one step back. Don't tame, embrace it!
> 
> Dude
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I hear you, I have said from the get go that the pain is what drives the growth. And this residual pain serves as a reminder than I still have a ways to go. When I say tame, what I am really saying is that I can take these demons and work my way thru them to a conclusion, but I still find it annoying at times that I continue to do this. But that too is part of the process.


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## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

I don't really have any advice for you since I am in the same boat; but just know you are not alone feeling this way~signs of progress are probably that we experience these feelings less and less or further in between and know that getting through this is possible. That is my hope at least!


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

5Creed said:


> I don't really have any advice for you since I am in the same boat; but just know you are not alone feeling this way~signs of progress are probably that we experience these feelings less and less or further in between and know that getting through this is possible. That is my hope at least!


Logically, rationally, intellectually I have worked the issues out in my own mind so many times that I am sick of thinking about them. In fact I did that fairly early in the process. But still every once in a while my ego flares up with some emotional response. Like I said, it is fewer and fewer between and I am often able to stamp out this brush fire fairly quickly. I just want to get past those trigger points that bring about the flare ups. All I can do is to keep plugging away.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I understand. There are still times I feel like I am the captain of a sinking ship-just plugging up the holes. This was not where I intended to be in my life right now. Still, here it is.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Nope 2 years ago I never would have imagined this is where I would be. The shock of it all has still not worn off. It would be nice to be awed for a change!


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