# What does this mean in your opinion?



## Jdub (Jun 16, 2019)

A lot of you know my story from my other thread so I'm not going to spend a lot of time typing this out. But this past week I had a woman (yes, her) shook my hand and then brought her left hand up and put it on the back of my hand that she was shaking. My wife was just a bit upset about it because she has never seen her do this while shaking anyone else's hand. We tried to look it up to see what it means but couldn't really find anything. It's a dominance thing when two guys are shaking hands, but when a woman does it to a man, what does that mean?


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Jdub said:


> A lot of you know my story from my other thread so I'm not going to spend a lot of time typing this out. But this past week I had a woman (yes, her) shook my hand and then brought her left hand up and put it on the back of my hand that she was shaking. My wife was just a bit upset about it because she has never seen her do this while shaking anyone else's hand. We tried to look it up to see what it means but couldn't really find anything. It's a dominance thing when two guys are shaking hands, but when a woman does it to a man, what does that mean?


It means that a man taught her how to shake hands the way he did it? It means nothing.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Jdub said:


> A lot of you know my story from my other thread so I'm not going to spend a lot of time typing this out. But this past week I had a woman (yes, her) shook my hand and then brought her left hand up and put it on the back of my hand that she was shaking. My wife was just a bit upset about it because she has never seen her do this while shaking anyone else's hand. We tried to look it up to see what it means but couldn't really find anything. It's a dominance thing when two guys are shaking hands, but when a woman does it to a man, what does that mean?


What do you want it to mean? IMO, that's more important than whatever it meant.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's not something I have ever done I dont think, but to me it would signify that it's someone you feel affectionate about.
Was this done in a church setting? It's not as if she gave you a hug.


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## Jdub (Jun 16, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> It's not something I have ever done I dont think, but to me it would signify that it's someone you feel affectionate about.
> Was this done in a church setting? It's not as if she gave you a hug.


Yes, as she was leaving church. She has shook the hands of many people but hasn't done that according to my wife. I have shook her hand many times and she hadn't ever done that to me either, until then.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Jdub said:


> Yes, as she was leaving church.


If she does it to others it's clearly just her. If only to you then that's slightly odd.
However as I said it's not as if she gave you a long hug.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

It’s when they don’t touch you that they really want you, according to “The Village”. 😊


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I never do it. It's overly familiar. Your wife is right to have her hair up about it.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It is more skin to skin contact. More personal.


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

Your wife is reading way too far into this. I do this frequently with friends or people I am comfortable with. In my opinion it is more respectful than a hug but still shows you are friendly with the person you are greeting.


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## mickybill (Nov 29, 2016)

Sounds like a southern thing...


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Even though you have other threads, I think you should include some context for why this would be in an “infidelity” section.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Are you STILL obsessed with this woman? 

Come ooooon. 

My teen daughter asks me these questions. If he does this, what does it mean. If he says this, what does it mean. It’s really gorgeous 🥰 I love those teen infatuations.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

At our church, it is deemed inappropriate to give mixed hugs to someone not your spouse or family. I would look at it as a term of endearment....kind of a way to hug a friend of opposite sex while still being proper. An i care for you hand shake and not the typical lawer hand shake you give someone as simple greeting. Its a "I consider you a friend, not just an acquaintance" thing. Whether from man or woman.

Only had 1 man ever do this, very nice elderly gent. But when he talks to you he gives you a big smile and his undivided attention like you are the only person in the room and actually shows compassion and concern for how your are and about your family.

That is just a Southern mentality thought on it. But we also tend to open doors for the ladies, pull over for funerals and even get a free drink for birthday girl.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> get a free drink for birthday girl.


First this, now shaking with both hands? Is this in the x-rated section?


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Shaking with both hands is no big deal. Not a come-on. Just the way she shakes hands. No worries.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Living in different areas in the southern states, I have had it done to me and have seen it done on several occasions. Especially if it is someone you know.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Jdub said:


> Yes, as she was leaving church. She has shook the hands of many people but hasn't done that according to my wife. I have shook her hand many times and she hadn't ever done that to me either, until then.



She might have been having a bad day. You had always been a good friend. If the emotions were only on your side then it meant nothing, just a friend to lean on. 

Your wife is overly sensitive to what the woman in question is doing because she knows what she is capable of doing and did. She needs to get over herself because not every woman is looking to cheat or be the OW like she was.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

unless she put her other hand into your pants....i would not think anything too much about it


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Shaking with both hands is no big deal. Not a come-on. Just the way she shakes hands. No worries.


It’s like women who feel a need to touch you on the shoulder, to show they care. It’s not sexual. It’s weird for those of us who aren’t touchy-freely though.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Casual Observer said:


> It’s like women who feel a need to touch you on the shoulder, to show they care. It’s not sexual. It’s weird for those of us who aren’t touchy-freely though.


Totally get that. I am I between no hug/yes hug.


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

Jdub said:


> A lot of you know my story from my other thread so I'm not going to spend a lot of time typing this out. But this past week I had a woman (yes, her) shook my hand and then brought her left hand up and put it on the back of my hand that she was shaking. My wife was just a bit upset about it because she has never seen her do this while shaking anyone else's hand. We tried to look it up to see what it means but couldn't really find anything. It's a dominance thing when two guys are shaking hands, but when a woman does it to a man, what does that mean?


Didn't you confess to your wife that you are "in love" with this woman? Didn't you tell us that you're not sure, but that you THINK this woman has "feelings" for you, too? And didn't you also say that this woman has a habit of being a bit touchy-feely with you in the past? 

Do you REALLY think that your wife wouldn't be upset by this?


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

I’m trying to work out from your past posts if you have an excessive need for admiration. Or you like to make people jealous? Paint yourself in a good light? Online from strangers, from everyone you meet and so on.

You’re posting about how much sex you’re having and asking people if it’s enough. (I’m sorry, I find it hard to believe your wife decided to mark it on a calendar). You have introduced a third party into your marriage who you can’t stop posting about. Do you think it’s cool and you think your wife and the other woman are trying themselves in knots over you?

It looks like classic triangulation to me.

What other examples are there in your life where you might do things to control everyone? Is the end result that you imagine everyone fawning about how much of an in-demand man you are, at home, in your community, online?

Have you been evaluated by a psychiatrist or psychologist?


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