# end of the road for me.......im done



## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

Hi all i haven't posted in a while. I used to be in the coping with infidelity section. But am posting here now for i am going thru a separation right now looking towards divorce.

I deleted my story a while back and its to long to rewrite it all.

So why am i posting here you might ask. Well im looking for advice, what steps to take in life.

Well as of now i have been separated from my wife going on 2 months. She kicked me out April 1st. We have been together 18 yrs married 14 yrs of the 18 yrs together.

I know everyone says don't leave the house make her leave. Well i left cause i don't care about the house anymore. To me its materialistic, it shows me who she really is because all she cares is about materialistic items.

From January 2012 up till March 31st 2013 our marriage has been a big roller coaster ride/a living hell. February 2012 we had separated for a month then we got back together again. 

But this time after she kicked me out April 1st, 2013 up to this point going on 2 months separated i do not wanna try again with her. 

I have gone dark on her. Yes we have 2 kids, 14 yr old daughter and 5 yr old son. I don't text, call her, nothing unless its an emergency having to do with my kids.

I have tried to talk to her and explained to her that i want a divorce from her now. But she goes ballistic.

Starts crying that she doesn't want a divorce. Or says oh now you want a divorce cause you found a new woman (really are you kidding me). 

I want a divorce cause i will not put up with a woman lying constantly to my face, dragging my name thru the mud, telling people that im the bad guy and her playing the victim, not put up with her temper tantrums, her hiding her phone, her coming home at 4 in the morning. 

Her saying she has to work overnight (lies, she went out drinking with her cousins). Tired of arguing, her selfish manipulative ways. Done with it all.

We have been married 14 yrs and in those 14 yrs she never hungout at bars. But seems she is now a barfly. She is 35 yrs old out hanging with her cousins that recently turned 21 yrs old. While she leaves my kids alone at home.

I told her you don't want a divorce, but you wanna be out at bars, drinking, not taking care of our kids. Basically you want your cake and eat it too.

I told her you want the security of marriage but at same time you wanna be out exploring new territory.

Will not happen. 

I am in texas and i wanna find a way to get divorced inexpensively. 

I don't want the house, she can keep it. Or do ya'll think its best the judge orders it split in half. 

Also i have read on the internet about sometimes spouses having to split any 401k's.

How about profit sharing does that get split ? 

I think to myself should i file for divorce and let her keep everything and i just walk away from an unhappy marriage i want out of.

But people tell me i deserve half just as much as she does.

I want to file for divorce but im trying to figure out the best way. Whether let her keep everything or ask for half of it all.

What is best in the long run for a simple inexpensive divorce.
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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

What you don't want are regrets. Better to fight for your share now than to wish you had later.


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

Yes fight for your half of the house. 

That way you can put it towards your retirement when she takes half of it. Ceegee is right. 

Divorce her if she will not respect your boundaries.


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## Peeps678 (May 21, 2013)

Take what is yours. Don't let her get everything. You were in that marriage too.


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

yes i think ya'll are right. i might regret it later hoping i could of got more out of the divorce. But i think it would make divorcing her easier to jus let her keep it all.

But then again i deserve my half contributed to the marriage of 14 years.

if i don't take nothing then the next man will jus enjoy what coulda been mine.

yes i will request my half.
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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

If you want custody of the kids, see if there's a way to document her leaving them home alone while she goes bar hopping.

Talk to a lawyer about this to see what is admissable. Upside to this is that she could wind up paying you child support


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## life.is.pain (Aug 28, 2012)

The proof of her being out at the bars is hon her facebook and my daughters twitter account. 

My daughter is 14 yrs old but she says she doesn't wanna live with me, and i know why. Because her mom is letting her do whatever she wants like having a boyfriend and going out. I believe the STBXW lets daughter do whatever so daughter won't rub it in her face that she is out drinking while my kids home alone.

Honestly i don't want the house, she can have it. I just want my name off it, but STBXW can't refinance it cause first credit is bad and she filed for bankruptcy in 2012.

We have i believe 28 years left on the mortgage so i don't want it all. All i want is an amicable divorce and my name off the mortgage since she wants the house.

But i know she cannot afford it on her own. 

Also wanna say from the tine i left April 1st this year, i saw her 2 weeks when i went to pick up my mail, and man she lost alot of weight. I told her what happened and she said she is stressed out and can't eat. 

I jus felt pity for her cause this is what she wanted since january 2012. I told her sometimes you gotta becareful what you wish for cause you might get it and then regret it.

She is not my problem anymore.
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