# Limbo Sux



## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

I actaully found this forum several weeks ago when I was searching the net for spying ideas after suspected something was going on with my wife. This is great place with a ton of info and it hard to find someplace where can relate to your situation. I have lurked around ever since and joined about a week ago after my fears were confimed on Easter Sunday when I intercepted the prior weeks worth of text messages. They confirmed that she had sleeping with him for 4 months.

We have been married for 12 years and have 3 little girls (9, 7 & 5) and I love them more than anything in the world. With 3 little ones, life is pretty hectic so at the end of last year, we recently made the decision for my wife to be stay home mom. My wife has been sleeping with a guy that she used to work with pretty much since then.

I had suspected things for a few months (more and more as time went on) but had no idea the extent of the situation untill I really started watching her. I have been a complete wreck since I found out I can't concentrate, I have no appetite, I can't sleep. I feel like someone ripped my heart out and kicked me in the gut.

Now - what to do? I know for certain what is going on and I have tried subtely get her to come clean with conversation like "I feel we have been emotionally distant lately, maybe we should try MC". I have gotten no where with this and I can not watch her daily go on like nothing is going on. 

The thing that is incrediable unfair is that now I am the one that must expose this and set off the nuclear bomb that will initiate the chain of events that will decimate my family as we know it. I have not discussed this with anybody and it's hard to think straight so reading similar stories on this forum has been really helpful. 

Right now, I really doubt that we will be able to reconcile after this plays out. Especially since considering she will not come clean and will carry this on until it's exposed. It's so hard to listen talk about how busy she is and watch her sneak around and get people to help watch the kids so she can carry this on. 

I think my plan of action will be to see an attorney next week and explore my options. I want to play my cards the best I can as I really want to keep my kids and my house.

I also think that I will try to catch them red-handed in the act. That will take away any chance of denial and then I no longer have to sweat about finding the the perfect time to bring up the fact that I know that my wife and the mother of my children has been sleeping around for 4 months.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Sorry you're here. But start planning your future actions, read up on this article, Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum • View topic - THE LIST (Print It)

As for confronting, taking pictures/videos from far away is ideally better. The closer you are the more likely you are to get physical with the other man(OM)


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Act fast.

No more discovery needed.

No more passive hinting.

Confront!

But have a plan B.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

After reading the link on keko's post, I think I have some work to do first. That is exactly on point with my concerns. 

FWIW I felt just a little bit better as soon as posted this.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> After reading the link on keko's post, I think I have some work to do first. That is exactly on point with my concerns.
> 
> FWIW I felt just a little bit better as soon as posted this.


IMO, if you see divorce inevitable you might as well start preparing yourself for it so you wont get the shaft at the court. Keep your cool, act as normal.

BTW which evidence do you have of her adultery? How are you monitoring her? 

Just to add, no sex. You'd be risking yourself for STD's.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

I have not "gathered' a ton of evidence.

Right now, I only have read her text messages and it's clear what's going on. I have forwarded the more incriminating ones to my phone (There was one nice little exchange how she expects more from the guy she has been sleeping with for the past 4 months). I then delete sent FWD text.

I put a GPS tracker on her vehicle this morning so I was going to monitor that this week and see if I can pinpoint where they are hooking up and some photos.

I also thought about ordering a video camera for our bedroom as I suspect he may come over durring the day.


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## stedfin (Apr 14, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> The thing that is incrediable unfair is that now I am the one that must expose this and set off the nuclear bomb that will initiate the chain of events that will decimate my family as we know it.


Life isn't fair. 

Forget about complaining about how unfair it is and start taking steps to fix the problems even if it's ending the marriage and breaking up the family.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> I have not "gathered' a ton of evidence.
> 
> Right now, I only have read her text messages and it's clear what's going on. I have forwarded the more incriminating ones to my phone (There was one nice little exchange how she expects more from the guy she has been sleeping with for the past 4 months). I then delete sent FWD text.
> 
> ...


Im no legal expert but if she has affair(sexual acts) in front of the kids, you might have a good case for child custody.

Also buy and place a VAR(voice activated recorders) to see if she mention's things or places. Not that you need it to confirm your suspicions but when its time to confront she wont have any lame excuse to deny your evidence.

Which phone is she using?


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I am very sorry what you are going through. Your wife is a real piece of work. You need to get tested for STD's.

Your wife clearly has no respect for you or your marriage. For your wife to do this indicates to me either:
1. She does not care about becoming divorce.
2. She thinks you are an idiot and does not care about putting your health at risk for STD's.
3. She thinks that you are such an idiot that when she eventually gets caught you will forgive her anyway so she had nothing to lose.
4. She has done this in the past so it is not a bit deal. If this may be the case that you need to get your children to have paternity tests.

The fact that she immediately picked up a lover when she was allowed to be a stay at home mom says it all how she totally disrespects you and your marriage. Expose now and expose to her family and the OM's spouse. If you do not respect yourself then who will? I wish you luck.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

What? You think she has been banging her lover in your home while your children are in the house? Unbelievable. See an attorney immediately. She is a disgusting human being. Bringing a lover into the marital home has huge symbolism and is the absolute ultimate in humiliation, disrespect and distain to your spouse. This has to be a huge deal-breaker.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

bryanp said:


> What? You think she has been banging her lover in your home while your children are in the house? Unbelievable. See an attorney immediately. She is a disgusting human being. Bringing a lover into the marital home has huge symbolism and is the absolute ultimate in humiliation, disrespect and distain to your spouse. This has to be a huge deal-breaker.


It is. The way I see it this marriage has been turned off long time ago by the wife. Unless the OP wants to suffer consequences for her affair he needs to act/play smart so he can get away with the smallest damage when divorce happens.

But I agree, having sex in the marital house/bed is the lowest of the lowest. Not only is she selfish but also evil.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Find out if the OM has a wife or girlfriend and expose the affair to her. Chances are more than good that if his SO finds out that he's going to throw your wife under the bus (most OMs are in the affair for the sex).

In the meantime, consult with a divorce attorney so that you can formulate the best plan to avoid getting financially raped. Check out the site *Dads divorce* and read *Lessons Learned - Before and During* to educate yourself.

Lastly, implement *The 180 degree rules* so you can emotionally detach and become strong enough to move on with your life without her.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

I got it. I know that she is a piece of sh*t and I know that I need to set off the nuclear bomb that she built. 

I just want to make sure that I have a well thought out plan and that I have done everything that I can to put myself in the best position.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> I got it. I know that she is a piece of sh*t and I know that I need to set off the nuclear bomb that she built.
> 
> I just want to make sure that I have a well thought out plan and that I have done everything that I can to put myself in the best position.


Well said.

Before she stopped working, were your incomes similar? You might as well have her start working again to minimize or forfeit spousal support/alimony.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

keko said:


> Which phone is she using?


She is using a LG UN270. I tried to pull the text direct off but it's doesn't have a SIM card.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

keko said:


> Before she stopped working, were your incomes similar? You might as well have her start working again to minimize or forfeit spousal support/alimony.


No - I make 3-4x what she did.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> She is using a LG UN270. I tried to pull the text direct off but it's doesn't have a SIM card.


Is it a smartphone?

Google for computer software's to recover texts/deleted texts for it.

Is it under your name? If it is you might be able to get some info from your online account.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> No - I make 3-4x what she did.


Sucks, but her having a minimum wage is better then being unemployed. 

Either way read the link I posted multiple times over and over again. If you two are sharing any assets of value, now would be the time to sell them. Without ticking her off.

Keep your cool and stay under the radar.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

keko said:


> Is it a smartphone?
> 
> Google for computer software's to recover texts/deleted texts for it.
> 
> Is it under your name? If it is you might be able to get some info from your online account.



I have tried - I don't think it's a smart phone and she does not have a data plan so i can't download anything directly onto the phone. The phone is in her name. I currently have access to her text and phone log online.

I can get the phone log back as far back as I want but I can only get the text log for current "unbilled" activity which starts mid-march.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Consider installing a few VARs (voice activated recorders) and place them where she talks privately in the home and in her car (use velcro to secure it under the dashboard or under the driver's sear of the car).


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> I have tried - I don't think it's a smart phone and she does not have a data plan so i can't download anything directly onto the phone. The phone is in her name. I currently have access to her text and phone log online.
> 
> I can get the phone log back as far back as I want but I can only get the text log for current "unbilled" activity which starts mid-march.


Can you actually read the messages or see the numbers only?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Can you set up a hidden webcam in the bedroom without her knowing? VAR in the bedroom would be next best. Or in any other room in the house you think she's using. Also in car.

See a lawyer, see how any of this plays into custody.

Gather evidence as deemed necessary to secure the best outcome in a divorce/custody battle.

When you confront, do you want to do it in such a way to give her a chance to reconcile or do you just want to be done with it? 

This will make a difference in the way you should confront and what advance preparations you should undertake.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

It seems odd that she would only start the affair with a co-worker AFTER they've already stopped working together.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

:iagree:

Staying home makes it 100x easier to have an affair but it's pretty obvious they have been involved way before she stopped working, whether emotional or physical.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

keko said:


> Can you actually read the messages or see the numbers only?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Only the numbers. I have to physically read the texts on her phone. She doesn't delete them (yet).


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> Can you set up a hidden webcam in the bedroom without her knowing? VAR in the bedroom would be next best. Or in any other room in the house you think she's using. Also in car.


I could probably pull of a camera but I think I will go the VAR route in the bedroom and the car.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> When you confront, do you want to do it in such a way to give her a chance to reconcile or do you just want to be done with it?
> 
> This will make a difference in the way you should confront and what advance preparations you should undertake.


At this point, I am preparing for the worst case scenario.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> I could probably pull of a camera but I think I will go the VAR route in the bedroom and the car.


I would suggest a camera over VAR, in the house, and VAR in the car.

There are plenty of very cheap yet effective hidden camera's on the net and electronic stores.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

Do VAR's date and time stamp the activity?


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

IMO it wont make any difference whether you have it or not. 

Camera on the other hand is better because if its in your house she can't claim it was before marriage etc. the surroundings would give it away.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Is the OM married?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

They did not start after she became a SAHM, they resumed it where they left off.

Is the OM married.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If you live in a small town try to consult with as many lawyers as you can, when you find the right one ask him who is his best opponit is. If your wife were to choose one.

Doen't tell the lawyer but get a consult with the compitition.

This will limit your wifes options in finding a good lawyer and will be stuck with a slow lazy one.

lawyers don't like this but it is a conflict of interest if your wife gets a lawyer you already consulted.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Also examin the text and call usage with regard to times, you may beable to coillate a time frame and even a day that they hook up. there may be large time gap during a certian day. 

Or you just take the whole week off and investigate.

We are creatures of routine, if you have the strength, you might beable to stick with your investigation long enough until you can catch her red handed.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

:iagree:


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Sweating It,

I am sorry for what you are going through but The Guy is right.

Time is on your side. Bear the pain. Get as much evidence as you can. Video plus Var.

Use the GPS to see where she goes.

If she is bringing a stranger into your house to have sex while the kids are there would be the final piece you need to go
"scorched earth" if you feel you need to.

Do not leave her any wiggle room to lie to you.

Beat any resistance into the ground with your evidence. Have a plan in place backed up by an attorney so she knows you mean business.

And if you determine that she has checked out of the marriage and is not protecting the kids then you know what to do!!

If the OM has a wife and family you make sure you coordinate the confrontations for maximum effect.

Good Luck and keep Posting...

HM64


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Get some nanny cams


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Part of your investigation work must include the OM.

If hes married you expose to OMW, then your WW.

If she contiues the affair after confronting then expose to family and friends. even though you are divorcing any way, this move will help you in damage control and avoid looking like the bad guy.

The second biggest thing with evidence is the damage control that you will need to do when she starts rewriting history to her family and your friends.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

You can now buy hidden cameras built into clock radios, books, and other harmless appearing items. If you go that route, don't forget the guest bedroom, if you have one. While most wayward wives can't resist getting nailed in their husband's bed, some do move the action down the hall. At least at first. Do the entry, too.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Exposé it to everyone around her first, and then drop the bomb on her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

They are continuing their affair from where they left. It may have been going on your back for a while. Wah what a POS your wife is?

Banging someone infront of children is the ultimate cruelty towards the kids and you. Banging someoone on her marital home is like ****8ing someone infront of you, the most disrespectful and heneious act ever a wife can do. She disrespect you, your children and your marriage.

confront her after gathering maximum evidence and throw her out of your house, she dont deserve any mercy from you as she didnt have any mercy for you. Issue her with D papers and protect your assets and children.

She dont deserve you she deserve the road.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

Thanks for replies and input. I am going to order a couple cameras and a VAR. All of our kids are in school so I do not think that they are doing anything with the kids home - they would rat them out.

The OM lives with his GF in her house. I don't think I'll tell her until immediately after as I want to make sure that I control the exposure. She could go crazy, spill the beans and kick him out immediately.

Just curious why exposure method would matter depending on reconciliation vs. divorce? I think red-handed would be best because it would undeniable and embarrassing as hell.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

IMO exposure to GF only will helping ending the affair, the OM will throw your W under the bus to try to keep his GF and a place to live. Exposing to OMGF 1st will prevent any kind of damage control from OM. " hey this crazy guy will be calling you and will tell you lies b/c we had a fight"

Exposure to family and friends make the affair inconvienent and uncomfortable to continue after you confront your WW and she wants to continue the A. 
Again damage control, your will will lie to her family and tell them you beat her to make her self look good while she contiues the A.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Let OMGF spill the beans, you will still have the upper hand, when confronting yor wife. OM will be doing his own damage control, and it won't effect your confrontation. Sure OM will be on the phone as soon as he can with your WW, but timing is everything.

But remember never reveal your source's.

Just tell OM GF you have proof if she wants it, but you need to confront your WW. Hell you and the OMGF can confront together if you play your cards right.

Go get your proof/ schedule of next meeting then think about the timing with regards to confronting and exposure with OMGF. The red handed idea is great but often the betrayed become to weak and can't stand it any more and confronts before the next hook up.

But in your case it seems pretty convienent to hook up so getting the info for the next hook up will be key, then cordinating with OMGF would a logistic problem.

Its possible that GF would call Om immediately, and while WW and OM are putting there cloths back on you might loose the caught red handed effect.

IMO the caught red handed idea works, just have your phone ready to call OMGF while OM is running out of the house or motel.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Whether you want to reconcile makes a difference in the way you confront your wife, not necessarily in how you expose the affair.

*If you want to try to reconcile*, you should be prepared with a list of conditions your wife must meet in order for you to even consider trying to reconcile.

Such conditions could be:

(1) stop all contact with the other man immediately - no communication of any kind whatsoever ever again;

(2) she sends a handwritten letter to the other man saying how horribly ashamed she is for her behavior and how terrible she feels for risking the loss of her husband, marriage, and family, telling the other man it is over and he should never try to contact her again, if he does she will file harassment charges against him;

(3) no contact includes no looking at his profile on facebook and other social media sites;

(4) if he ever tries to contact her again, she does not respond and let's you know immediately;

(5) she gets rid of any gifts he may have given her;

(6) whatever other conditions you might have or want related to the affair and your relationship. You tell her if she doesn't want to meet your conditions, you will file for divorce. And then you do it. You can always stop the process if she agrees to your conditions later on.

Usually after the confrontation, the cheater storms out and calls the other man.

Immediately after this, you would call to expose to the other man's girlfriend and her family and whoever you determine would be of help in ending the affair (she almost definitely will not be able to end it cold turkey right away, even if she wants to, it's like an addiction). You do not tell your wife anything about the exposure. You do it quickly, keeping all calls short and to the point, to reach all the people you want to before she can call them and tell them you're crazy and try to put the blame for everything on you. 

If you do want to reconcile, you might want to tell her along with your conditions that you will be willing to work on the marriage, that you still love her and want to get over this, but it will take time, and you may never get over it, you just don't know yet.

*If you do not want to try to reconcile*, then all of the conditions really don't matter. You may want to expose to the other man's girlfriend and her family anyway, just so she can't paint you as the bad guy in all this, and so the other man's girlfriend can make her own decisions knowing the truth.

No matter what, you do not leave your own house. She is the cheater, if anyone leaves, she does. If you leave, she will say you abandoned her and the kids, she may change the locks on you and make things really nasty.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Reconcile with such a horrible cheater?Really.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

SweatingIt said:


> Only the numbers. I have to physically read the texts on her phone. She doesn't delete them (yet).


so she's either stupid, careless, or wants to get caught


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

walk up take the fone and read them in front of her. she say anything about privacy, say fk you.


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## reggis (Apr 11, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> No matter what, you do not leave your own house. She is the cheater, if anyone leaves, she does. If you leave, she will say you abandoned her and the kids, she may change the locks on you and make things really nasty.


If he's the hard working parent and she takes care of the kids then he's the one who will eventually get the boot. Doesn't matter who cheated. 

She can't change the locks without court approval, she'd get in deep doodoo for that.



Almostrecovered said:


> so she's either stupid, careless, or wants to get caught


Or, she just doesn't care.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

She found the effing GPS tracker after 2 days. She took that vehicle in for service and they saw it. She thinks that the insurance company may have put it there.

I should probably just come clean and tell her I put it there after reading the texts and blow it up at this point.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> She found the effing GPS tracker after 2 days. She took that vehicle in for service and they saw it. She thinks that the insurance company may have put it there.
> 
> I should probably just come clean and tell her I put it there after reading the texts and blow it up at this point.


Where did you place it? 

Hide it better next time, and don't confront her until you have plenty of evidence.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

:iagree:

Do not say anything at all.

Why would she think the insurance company is tracking her?

Just stick to the drill, get the red handed evidence and then expose to OMGF and family if that is what you intend to do.

She has been at it for over 4 months so why stop now and confront?

She will get sloppy again.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

In the rear undercarriage of the car - magnetized to the frame.

The recent texts sound like the affair is coming to an end so I may have missed my chance to catch them red-handed. 

If the text exchange that mentions that she has been sleeping with him for 4 months is still on her phone I may just grab the phone and read it to her. Tell her that after I read it, I had the know for sure and I placed the GPS there. Whenever this thing blows up she gonna realize that I placed it there.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> In the rear undercarriage of the car - magnetized to the frame.
> 
> The recent texts sound like the affair is coming to an end so I may have missed my chance to catch them red-handed.
> 
> If the text exchange that mentions that she has been sleeping with him for 4 months is still on her phone I may just grab the phone and read it to her. Tell her that after I read it, I had the know for sure and I placed the GPS there. Whenever this thing blows up she gonna realize that I placed it there.


Her knowing the GPS was your's or not wont make much difference after confronting her. BTW once you show her the text's all she would do is deny them. Tell you they were just joking.

Had a chance to place hidden camera's?


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

The hidden cameras showed up today.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> The hidden cameras showed up today.


At work or home? 

GPS might might push her to keep it quiet for a while, but you definately need more evidence, solid evidence.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

work


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> work


As much as it hurts, you have to keep it cool for a while and collect evidence to support your side.

How do you know her affair is coming to an end?


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

I still read the texts. It appears that they are fighting and she has stopped things for now.

She knows that I put the GPS there. She took it to her old work and they looked it up on the net. The rechargable batteries are the same ones that we use in the house. They have her convinced that I put it there.

The funny thing is that the owner of that company is good friends with me, wife, OM and OMGF. He was going to be one of the first people that I was going to expose this to and I was going to eventually ask him for a historic text log.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

This just seems like a very opportune time to blow it up. I have copies of the texts and I have every reason to have placed the GPS there. 

I am not sure that I will get (or need) any more evidence and the sooner I get this started the sooner I can move to the next step.

I can sit her down tonight and say the we both need to be completely honest. Even if she denies it, I am not going to buy it.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ok then expose the affair first to the omgf. You want him to really throw your wife under the bus so that she hasn't support or back option with him.

After you tell the omgf. Do nothing. Let your wife come to you and confess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Oh and after the omgf, let the company owner in on what's going on so she doesn't bs him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

Or I tell her that I put the GPS on there 4 months ago and I know everything.


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## SweatingIt (Apr 10, 2012)

DO you think that I should tell the company owner/mutual friend before I confront her?


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> DO you think that I should tell the company owner/mutual friend before I confront her?


She should be the last. Tell OMgf, her family, your family and the company owner first.

edit: keep a VAR on yourself, she is likely to go crazy on you and call cops to file DV.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

SweatingIt said:


> Or I tell her that I put the GPS on there 4 months ago and I know everything.


Do your level best never to reveal your sources. You do not want an avenue shut down that you may have to rely on in the future for some other purpose.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

SweatingIt said:


> Or I tell her that I put the GPS on there 4 months ago and I know everything.


What's your goal? A confession or to have her end the affair, come clean and work on R?

If its the later focus on killing the affair and removing the support she had from it. You want to remove that option.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Oh, and never reveal sources etc. you aren't proving a case, you are informing her that you know. You don't have to convince her that you know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

SweatingIt said:


> Or I tell her that I put the GPS on there 4 months ago and I know everything.


sorta, she will just assume that it was on longer, you dont have to correct her

Just be stolid in telling her, "I know for a fact what is going on"


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Oh, and don't loose your cool, be detached emotionally. Your goal is to end the affair, not convict her. This isn't a court room, it's you calling her out on cheating and telling her it's either end all contact forever with the OM, or you will divorce her.

No middle ground, no drama. Just end it, or D
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

:iagree:

Shaggy's right. Follow his direction.

And if your WW tries to TT or bluff to find out exactly what you know then tell everyone else but her.

Rock her world if she is full of BS.

She is a coward if she has not called to feel you out.

Be strong, be firm.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

From the sound of things this thing is already blowing up.
I'm thinking your WW knows you are getting close and she may have broken it off with OM. IDK was the last text more wanting out of the A or her asking OM for more time?

The GPS is pretty much the dagger here, she knows you are getting close to confronting.

Shaggy is spot on and the more indifferent you are when confronting the better off. I recommend smiling and show as much confidence as you can muster. DO NOT BEG OR CRY.

I would simple ask your WW if she wants to be married. If the answer is no then ask her to leave, she may refuse but it will show her how confident you are in moving on with out her if she continues this behavior.

If the answer is yes then let her that she needs to set up an appointment for MC and IC for her to address her adultous behavior. In addition a NC letter is to be written and sent by you to OM.

There will be no need for you to argue with her so don't engage her, walk away. There will be plenty of time to address other issues, for now stay on point and let it all sink in for her.

There is a script so be prepared to hear it, she will only admit to what you know and tell her, she will blame you and there may even be some trickel truth. be vage but choose your word, like "months" stay away from accurate amounts like "4 months"

It may be a good idea to have the cameras out on the table when you talk. Any implication that you "really" know everything the better chance you will get more of an admision. 

You do realize that she needs to quit her job don't you?


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

I like the idea of the cameras being out so she can see them.

If she starts TT'ing you just tell her if you have to play the video for her you might as well hand her the divorce papers with them.

The Guy is right.

Be strong, assertive and take no prisoners attitude.

Good Luck

HM64


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