# WHOOPS!!!! I did it again!!!!!



## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

I dropped my guard and FORGOT my husband is in a deep depression coupled with alcohol. I went to his room (he never gets out of bed) just to talk to him like we used to. I was yakking about this and that for a good five minutes when I realized I was talking to a zombie. His eyes kept wandering the room, he wasn't looking at me, he didn't respond verbally or facially to any of my comments. 

Then it hit me, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? HE ISN'T LISTENING TO YOU! HE HEARS CHARLIE BROWN'S TEACHER WHEN YOU SPEAK!!!! HEY MAY BE IN THE ROOM WITH YOU PHYSICALLY, BUT MENTALLY HE IS NOT HERE!!!

I have been dealing with him and depression for 20 years and I still forget sometimes. When I get excited, I want to run and tell my best friend. When I am upset, I want to share my woe with my best friend. When I need advice, I always turn to my best friend.

Why do I forget my best friend, like Elivs, has LEFT THE BUILDING. It's like talking to someone in a coma. First I feel stupid for forgetting and second, I experience that overwhelming pain of loss all over again. 

I am doing the 180 and it helps a little. Sometimes I forget I am supposed to be doing the 180 and try to comfort him or cheer him up. I feel like a comedian on-stage, BOMBING, no one laughs and all I hear is crickets.

We live in the same house, no kids, and I see him about 2 hours a day, sometimes less. Needless to say, I am NOT missed. 

Thank you for reading my rant. I needed to get that off my chest. I would also love to hear similar stories from people who lived with extremely depressed alcoholics. I need to feel less lonely. 

Please, do not give me advice okay? Just share your stories


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Sorry...


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

He's in way deep. He needs to be committed to a facility pronto. Yes I lived with a very extremely depressed alcoholic.

Gonna be honest though, if I knew then what I know now I would have left before the kids came.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

hotdogs said:


> He's in way deep. He needs to be committed to a facility pronto. Yes I lived with a very extremely depressed alcoholic.
> 
> Gonna be honest though, if I knew then what I know now I would have left before the kids came.


 :iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

I hope I didn't tie any of your hands when I said "no advice." Thanks to those who responded though.

Hotdogs, I never wanted children, but if I did, I would NEVER have had them with him because of his drinking problem. How are you dealing with your current situation. I would like to hear from you.

UPDATE: I noticed H has been worse than I have ever seen him, I took your advice and was looking up how to get him into a facility. Tonight out of the blue he FINALLY told me what has been eating at him. He is a new construction plumber by trade. Master plumber 30 years, one of the best and most honest out there. Well, he hasn't worked in a very long time and has retired to his bed 24/7.

About a week ago, he got offered a huge job to do a new house. We are talking going to a piece of vacant land, digging up where the house will stand and dig deep for the basement, laying the pipe underground, more digging, totally physical labor. He WANTED to turn the job down but didn't. That is huge. 

He has to hire some guys and get to it immediately and he is scared sh!tless because he is so incredibly out of shape and depressed, he is DREADING going back out there. That dread has been making him a total jerk for the past week but tonight he actually got off his azz, put on his walking shoes and went outside for a walk. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE EVER. 

Hey, it's a baby step, but I will take it. He could be walking to another woman's house for an affair and at this point, I wouldn't care, I just want him to get better. My hope has grown from nothing to a single grain of sand. At least it's something.


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## imhiswife (Sep 7, 2012)

I have struggled with depression from time to time varying from mild to severe. I now know it's due to bipolar disorder, but I tell ya a few months or longer on some antidepressants can really help. Depression is a mental disorder as well and deserves treatment if he's unable to control it through positive affirmations and will power. Sometimes you just can't make the sadness stop, and you don't even know why. I can't tell you how frustrating and impotent that makes you feel. I wish I would have gotten diagnosed sooner, instead of waiting til I was in my mid thirties to seek help. Now that I know I'm bipolar and prone to both depression and mania, I can't tell you how nice it feels to be even because of a bit of lithium. A few months or longer if needed on an antidepressant that works for him could literally save his life if he's to the point of suicidal thoughts. I don't know about the alcoholism part, but it does sound like he could use a visit to a therapist at least or a psychiatrist. Best of luck to you both and I'm so glad he opened up to you!!


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## notperfectanymore (Mar 1, 2012)

I am so sorry for what you go thru....

My mother was a very depressed alcoholic....she kept it well hidden until I was about 12 and my father had a stroke and ended up in a nursing home...

I don't know how you do it...I grew up lonely, and turned to my friends (not good ones). I was a complete hellion from 13 to 17...I was basically parentless...I emotionally detached and moved out @ 19...to this day I CANNOT be around depressed people for too long...I can't hang....

BIG hugz for you AND for hubby.....good luck hon


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

It's something different anyways....
Good luck and have a great weekend!

(you have some great Avitars)


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