# 13yr relationship need advice



## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

I have been a lurker for the past few months and after todays events i have had to sign up so you guys can help me with your advice and opinions..

I have been with my partner for 13yrs,were not married and when we met i took her 7 yr old son on..

12 yrs were your standard relationship.good/bad times but we stuck together and talked about marriage a few times along the way.

Now for these 12 yrs she worked in a chemist in a mostly female enviornment i had no worry about her cheating because she did'nt really have the opportunity and i thought she was loyal and gave me no worries on the cheating front

then in april i had to quit work to care for my dad and my partner got offered a new job which paid alot more..happy days we thought..

where she works now she has to come into contact with alot of men and she would often come home with stories of this fella and that fella but it still never entered my head that she could get involved with someone else..

Then late august she came home and said one of her work female friends had asked her to go for tea with them afterwork,this is something she has never done before..

i needed the car that day and said i will take you to the pub where your friend is and pick you up later,well red flags came she was so insistant that i dont take her that it made me suspicious..

after a few days of red flags i found a secret phone,she hjad been txting a fella at work for a few days,but we all know thats how things start so i decided to approach her before it could go any further.

She had been out for tea with this bloke but thats all according to her,she was flattered etc all the usual stuff,but no physical contact and i believed her..so i say this stops now no more contact unless its work related.we need the money and leaving the job is a defo no no...she agree's and i believe her and she also said she had told fella not to txt her anymore....i gave her the beneift of the doubt and moved on..

now for the past month or so it has been on my mind and i have been watching her like a hawk,iv had little red flags that have made me suspicious but i could never prove it..until today

i found another phone as her behaviour was odd,going the toilet alot,sneaking uostairs etc..i did'nt have time to read all the txts and put the phone back,i had seen enough...

later that evening after several hours of thinking about it i decided to tell her i know and i want to see the phone now or im gone...she would not show me the phone and i just left and have told her unless i see those txts over 100 at the time and you tell me everything dont bother contacting me..

The house is her's thats why i left..

iv contacted other fella he hung up and switched his phone off,****house of a man that he is..

what next people, i love this woman and think she is in an emotional affair with this bloke,im pretty certain it is not sexual as yet..

ADVICE PLZ...and any questions i need to answer just ask


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

One way of playing it: apologise.

Get back in.

Get a voice activated recorder and put it into her car. Get a keylogger on her computer. If she has a smartphone, get recording software onto it.

Not sure how else you can play it as she called your "bluff".

Right now, she is addicted to a drug and she will not see sense. 

You are what stands between her and that drug. You have just begun a war with her addiction.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Why should i apologize,no way am i doing that and im certainly not going back until she shows me her phone and is willing to talk openly about whats going on..

plus iv already contacted other man and he must of told her and now she is saying she is scared of me etc,etc and i should'nt of contacted him..

I love her yes,but that dosen't mean im gonna be a door mat i think i was too soft with her the first time,i think its now time to man up...


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Bump....i really needs your thoughts and advice as to where i go from here..

Did i do the right thing confronting her?

Did i do the right thing contacting OM?


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

Yes and Yes! You have to be willing to end this relationship if it comes to it. If you leaving doesn't snap her out of the fog of the EA then she's given you no choice. You'll leave with your self respect intact, do not underestimate the importance of this. If she's willing to stop then go back home and give her a chance to make amends and work on the relationship. I wish more men would respond the way you have.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Stay dark on her---the ball is in her court---see where she is at

You do have a problem, if she is now the breadwinner, in that she does not need you---so taking care of your father or not---you better make yourself self sufficient---especially in her eyes

Why is it after 12 yrs, the two of you have not married----do you not want each other enuff to make it official and take vows----all of these things, may be playing into what is going on in her mind

For now, hold your line, and stay dark---see if she really loves you enuff to miss you, and want you back---or if she is moving on---and if she is moving on---then you know where you stand.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Thanks for your reply its very helpful..

We never got married for financial reasons,we were better off with her being a single mother while her son grew up...but its always felt like we were married except for the piece of paper..

Regarding the money issues she has always been self sufficient and has never needed money from me.She knows i can take care of my self and money is not an issue..she certainly wont come back because of money.

My plan is to stay dark and work on myself and hope she wakes up from the fog but if she dosen't then i know she dos'ent want me in her life..


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

peterbarnes said:


> Why should i apologize,no way am i doing that and im certainly not going back until she shows me her phone and is willing to talk openly about whats going on..
> 
> plus iv already contacted other man and he must of told her and now she is saying she is scared of me etc,etc and i should'nt of contacted him..
> 
> I love her yes,but that dosen't mean im gonna be a door mat i think i was too soft with her the first time,i think its now time to man up...


Peter, it would be a ploy to enable you to find out what you need to know.

And contact OM's wife/girlfriend, too, if he has one. And your wife's workplace.

Hmmm. Was she on benefits as a single mother? (Might be legal comeback if this was so.) Or is she getting alimony? 

Was her cheating the reason she was a single mum?


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## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

get rid of her. at the very least she is a liar and most likely much more.
you want to be married to a deceptive liar and cheater?

you will never be able to trust her.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

are you in a common law mge state---if so you have a little leverage

The question here is---the guy she is messing with----she has no REALITY with him, so he is not what he seems at this point---

You and your CL wife---have reality---making it thru emergencies, bill paying, hard times, running errands, taking care of your kid---necessities of life----she has none of that with him---what she has is the 2 of them whispering sweet nothings to each other----

But do not go in begging/groveling/or acting like a child----just stay dark, and show that you can and will take care of yourself---and you do have a future w/out her if need be

Eventually she will see the grass is probably not greener---but right now she is in limerance---hot passion, infatuation----just hold your line, and show her you are the man----but as the man, you do not want her, if she doesn't wanna be with you

Remember----97% of A. hook-ups---FAIL

Do make sure you are there for your kid---no matter what


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Firstly as stayed in my OP we are not married but as good as

Secondly her kid i took on when he was 7 and he is now 20 and living his own life

Mattmatt i dont need a ploy to find out other info i know all i need to know,she lied big time and refuses to be open with me and let me see the 100 and odd txts she has recieved from OM

Yes she was on benefits as a single mum but i dont wanna get her into trouble.

Her last marriage broke up cos hr was a drunk and a self absured idiot.

Bribruis lol i intend on taking a tough stance on this but reluctent to throw 13yrs and my best friend away.i will give her a chance to be open and honest with me but if she is not then im willing to move on.

Jnj express i agree with all you say,great advice and i think this is the way i will go for the next few days and see if she comes to me or not

Thankyou all for the replies


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

What if deleted the messages ? Or refuses to show you any of them ?


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Warlock this is my big concern...and prob my next question to the forum..

She knows i want to see those txts and if she deletes them then she has disrespected me and i think i would have to say bye bye,you knew what i wanted from you 1 to see those txts and 2 to be open and honest with me

If she deletes them and then wants to talk to me she is hiding things she dosent want me to see

Do you think im right..if deleted she is hiding something and protecting herself?
.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

The fact that she as now gone through 2 secret phones means that she's been deeply involved in this for a while. Cheater do not just go out and get affair phones right at the start. Either this is not her first affair, or it's not his first affair, or it's been going on a while.

Either way a burner phone is the tool of a serous cheater.

I suggest you notify their HR at work along with their boss. Office romances are not ok at most places. Then find out all you can about the OM, where does he live, does he have a wife/gf and else the affair to them.

Post the OM to cheaterville.com.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Btw the fact she has a burner phone proves she's already sleeping with him. She wouldn't need a burner phone to talk about the weather.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Shaggy...im were not married otherwise i would contact her HR department..

But if i do i could look like a idiot

Id love to contact her HR department but do i have the right


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

peterbarnes said:


> Shaggy...im were not married otherwise i would contact her HR department..
> 
> But if i do i could look like a idiot
> 
> Id love to contact her HR department but do i have the right


Yes you have the right. You live in the same house and are a family. In many places you'd be considered common law spouses by now.

This dirt ball has broken up your family. If you value it, then it's time to go to war for it.

You've steady lost her in the initial movements, do at this point what have you to loose by trying?


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Thanks thats a serious options for me to consider.

So i phone her HR department and say what? 

Hi im so so partner of 13yrs and i believe she is inapprioate relationship with a fellow co worker which is happening in work time and with work equipment is there anything you can do to stop this man contacting my partner.??


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

I'd have to say multiple burner phones = experienced, serious cheater.

Expose to the OM's BW or GF.

Stay incommunicado with WGF. 

I assume you and the WGF have a circle of friends. If so, give the GF something to think about: change your haircut, start dressing sharper and start going out. Get a six pack. This is the time to do it, since you're on the "infidelity diet," most likely. You'll be looking good so you should get some female attention. Be seen by your mutual female friends at your usual haunts with a parade of women younger than your GF. This sounds stupid and asinine, but I assure you that the more you project you're moving on to younger, hotter women, the more she'll be bugged. She may not be bugged much, but that's about the only way to get her attention when she's in the first rush of sex with a new guy.

Will it work for you? Highly unlikely. She brought you on board primarily because you were to serve as father figure and co-provider, a so-called "Beta-Provider," for her son by Alpha. She wasn't with you because of any great sexual passion for you. You've outlived your usefulness to her now that the son is on his own. She never wanted kids with you. The End.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Mach - I agree with some of what you say and you could well be right on all those things e.g im no longer needed,iv outlived my purpose who knows whats going through her mind..

Im in the process of tryin to find more out about OM but its difficult as i only know his first name and mobile number but im workin on it..

I will at some point have to see her no doubt about that to get my belongings if it comes to that and i will be ready,new hair cut,shirt etc just to bug her..

But we will see its early days but 2 burner phones is not good..

Thanks for your comments..


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Use one of the services like spokeo.com or others to do a reverse lookup on his cell to his full name.

2 burner phones frankly is way over the top, not just a bad sign. It's an insanely bad sign.

What you say to HR - is: I'm the long term partner of X. We live together along with her son for X years. Recently since starting at your company she has begun an affair with Y. I've caught her with two secret affair phones, and going out to meet him for sex. I believe this violate company policy of two employees hooking up and having sex. I believe they have engage in sexual activity at work on company premises and have used company resources to continue the affair. I request your immediate action in this matter, without the need for any additional outside involvement.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Shaggy - Thxs for the website,im already on the reverse phone number thing im just waiting for them to do the search

On the HR thing,i dont think they have had sex or are you saying i should just tell HR that as it sounds more severe?

Plus she will just deny it so i presume the idea is to shame them both...but this could push them closer together


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

peterbarnes said:


> Shaggy - Thxs for the website,im already on the reverse phone number thing im just waiting for them to do the search
> 
> On the HR thing,i dont think they have had sex or are you saying i should just tell HR that as it sounds more severe?


Look, she's now had 2 burner phones. They've more thank likely had lots of sex by now. People do not get burner phones to exchange weather info and stock tips. They get them to have affairs. 

think about it. It takes a lot of motivation and planning to say - i need to buy a secret cell phone to call this person. - people do not do that if they aren't having sex. They just dont - especially when they see each other at work everyday.

Sorry, but they're having sex.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

2 burner phones pretty tells you that it is the worst case scenario and that it intentional deception. Not some co-worker relationship that got out of hand. What phone did she use as the burner phone ? If it is a smart phone, you can recover some of the texts. What phone is it ?

And one more thing. She could selectively delete the texts to show you the harmless ones. 

One thing you should be hellbent on is getting the truth. if you have a home computer, keylog it


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Warlock its a cheap tesco pay as you go i wont get any info off that..

Well there was a 100 txts in the inbox this morning and if she selectively deletes them and there is only 50 when she show me,well that will tell me alot

Shaggy on the sex front you make sense i know its a strong possibility im just not sure..2 phones txting at work and txting at home...smells bad i know


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

What else do you think they were doing? Talking about hobbies ? 

If she does offer the phone to look at the texts, tell her you will be sending it to the online store that can retrieve the deleted texts...


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

I'm surprised at you vets. It took Shaggy at post 14 to finally make the point I was thinking right off.

Come on peeps, we don't see the secret phone until they are caught and take it underground.

This looks like an expeirenced cheater here.

So I will say this to OP, you are in denial my man. There is no reason to have a secret phone if it is not sexual.

I will also say this. you WON'T see those txtxs, so you might as well go get the rest of your stuff.

Two secret phones means she know what she is doing, or her AP is directing her.

Contact her to set up a time for you to go get the rest of your stuff.
That way she see you are serious and it will give her a chance to try to talk to you. You know, " we need some time apart " " she confused " " I love you But not in love with you ". All the same s*** which means you are the backup while she try out a new stick.

My man, there are few that I really like never having met, but you are one. Take NO crap !!
You won't be throwing the relationship away, she will.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

I will do that..im just waiting for this reverse phone check to get back to me..

Last month i checked one of her facebook accounts,she has a few she uses for the games reason but she also has a main one

Well on one of the other account i know she has been lookin at this fella..his name is the same chris and he also lives in the area she told me he is from..

Now the juicy bit if it is him and i hope it is cos then iv got more info,well he is married with 2 kids..
If it is i will be facebooking his wife the stupid fool married with 2 kids..god i hope its him


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Ok oldwolf say your right what next?

If you are right then that will be it..but then what out her,make things difficult for her or just let it go and move on?


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Nuke him, but do NOT let her off the hook.

I say this with ALL seriousness, This has gone physical !!

PB,,, face the fear man, if her screwing him is a deal breaker, then you are as of now single.
You may want to deny or avoid getting to close to that truth, but if you don't get the WHOLE truth, a successful R will not be possible for a man like you.
I commented liking you, that was for the way you stood up for yourself.
You DEMANDED and didn't back down.
In my personal life, I don't give second chances to cheaters. I respect those that can, but my demons won't let me.

Also,,,, a polygraph might be the ponly way to get the truth of a PA.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

We doubled posted,, I

I don't think you want to make it hard on her at work, after all you guys had some good yrs.
Outing him to his wife would do me, if she screwed him and I KNOW I will NOT take her back.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Your right i might be denying and a voiding the truth and i agree it more than likely gone sexual and that is a deal breaker for me...

Im a strong fella and i wont put up with this ****..trust me..

Nuke him lol..already have contacted him as soon as i said who i was he hung up and switched his phone off..iv got plans for that bastard..


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

OK let just say she has not, but he was directing her into getting the phones so he could keep working on her. The level of deceit would be too much for me. For it tells me she was just as heavily invested as he was in the A. But like I say, thats just me.

As for her job,,,,, NAW, won't at this point. I'd burn his a** everyway but up, but for the sake of our past, I'd show her how a MAN rejects her and walk away. Let he support herself. For I don't believe she just used you to just help her raise her kid. From you writing, I see you as someone who is very aware of whats happening in his life. So there is no way you wouldn't have felt it if it wasn't real.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Thxs for your kind words...the level of decite is quite bad from the first time i confronted her about it and i trusted her to deal with it and i thought she had..but she obviously lied and got another phone and has prob been txting all of september..

Now the sex thing,you can prob tell i have my doubts its gone sexual cos im with her everynight,but there are times that she could have e.g dinner times and other times she tells me she is with her mum..im unsure but not so niave to think she defo has not..

I pretty sure she never used me as a ready made dad as well,but never 100% sure

Iv just gotta see how the next couple of days pan out..im man enough to take it and deal with it..

Thxs oldwolf for takin the time to reply


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

No matter which way it go, you will be alright.
And you are more than welcome.
Normally I advise blowing up the WS world, but you are on the ground there, and believe me, from being on here, I can tell you are no fool, so I KNOW she was just as into you as you was her. 

This lately s***, is recent, but to reach so far as burner phones even before you caught her, thats no red flag, thats a light house. So I do NOT want you rug sweeping this just to stay together.

Just take care of yourself, it will all come out.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Oldwolf - Oh this ain't gettin ruged sweept trust me..

I'll update the thread as soon as i know more,keep checking back for update's and feel free to comment


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

the burner phone is the tool of an experienced cheater. So if it's not her, then its the OM.

Want to bet he is married and has cheated a number of times? 

My suggestion is at this point to go dark on both your WW and the OM. Your next move should be find the OMW and reach out and let her know what's up.

I still favor going after them at work. She just changed jobs, so obviously she can find other work.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Just found out OM full name and address,its not who i thought it was now how do i find out if he is married etc? Prob have to go down to his house and do some survalience...

Shaggy - iv gone dark,im finding out all i can about OM and iv not decided about the HR route at the moment..


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

She contacted me earlier and wants to talk,she says that she has'nt deleted any messages but i'll see when she gets here..

I shall be firm and confident and any bull**** from her she is out the door..
I will update later


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

peterbarnes said:


> Just found out OM full name and address,its not who i thought it was now how do i find out if he is married etc? Prob have to go down to his house and do some survalience...


Careful now. I assume that you got that information from searching the phone number, right? Keep in mind that sometimes experienced cheaters don't link their own names to their burner phones. Since this isn't who you thought it was, you might want to confirm that this name is correct.

For example, is this new name associated with where she works? A co-worker? Client? Since you do have a name and address, try searching social media like facebook, or a general search to find out if this person's name is somehow linked to her lifestyle. A connection. If outside research does not produce any "link", then drop the name on her. Ask her how "name" is? Note her reaction.

I knew someone whose "phone name" was NOT the owner/user of the phone. It was a burner phone. The random name showed up on the caller ID. He was connected to my roommate, so we did know who was calling, however the name was different from the caller.

I'm just suggesting that before you "pounce" on the person whose name is connected to the phone, make sure it is indeed the OM.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

peterbarnes said:


> Oldwolf - Oh this ain't gettin ruged sweept trust me..
> 
> I'll update the thread as soon as i know more,keep checking back for update's and feel free to comment


Check the times of the texts and prepare for selective deletion of these texts(And her denial about them). You should have read them when you had the chance


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Does he own the house? Sale records are typically public. The other way is in through online property tax records. If you know the address then you might be able to see the names of the house owners online using the counties tax website.

Some of the online people services like pipl.com will tell you the names of spouses and people living at the same address


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> then in april i had to quit work to care for my dad and my partner got offered a new job which paid alot more..happy days we thought..


Here we go with the "stay at home guy" again... At least you did for good reasons.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Here we go with the "stay at home guy" again... At least you did for good reasons.


You read my mind Costa. I hope to God your world view is wrong, but the evidence does mount up doesn't it...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

peterbarnes said:


> Just found out OM full name and address,its not who i thought it was now how do i find out if he is married etc? Prob have to go down to his house and do some survalience...
> 
> Shaggy - iv gone dark,im finding out all i can about OM and iv not decided about the HR route at the moment..


Google search, Bing, Yahoo! if you are in the UK Land Registry search are all good places to start.

And do resist the temptation to get into fisticuffs with him. Seriously. As it will put you in the wrong.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

peterbarnes said:


> Just found out OM full name and address,its not who i thought it was now how do i find out if he is married etc? Prob have to go down to his house and do some survalience...
> 
> Shaggy - iv gone dark,im finding out all i can about OM and iv not decided about the HR route at the moment..


If it is not who you thought it was, could it be the two of them she is cheating with? Sorry to raise that possibility...


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Chris989 said:


> You read my mind Costa. I hope to God your world view is wrong, but the evidence does mount up doesn't it...


Red Pill, Chris. Take the Red Pill.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Thanks for all your replies,but this relationship is no over FULL STOP..

she was suppose to come around tonight but did'nt despite me sitting in and waiting..

Now the anger is kicking in and i just wanna get my revenge,but i must not...

im sure i will feel alot of emotions over the next few weeks but i'll stick around this forum and read alot to help me get through it..

Thanks all for your replies and intrest..


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

It's exposure time, bring her antics into the light of day.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Didn't show up? Go to OM's house, what whther she's there.
Maybe she's "ending it".


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

No piont in going to OM house at the moment iv already done time in jail for assualt 14 yrs ago and it's not a place i want to go back too...but thats another story

I think i will take some time until i calm down and then think about bringing her antics out to family etc,but where will that get me,prob nowhere...

As hard as it is moving on and getting some sort of routine is the only way forward as i dont want too and wont wallow in self-pity.

i will read some posts about how other people have moved on etc


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

peterbarnes said:


> No piont in going to OM house at the moment iv already done time in jail for assualt 14 yrs ago and it's not a place i want to go back too...but thats another story
> 
> I think i will take some time until i calm down and then think about bringing her antics out to family etc,but where will that get me,prob nowhere...
> 
> ...


Peter - you have my total admiration!
You've been able to weigh all sides of your potential moves. Such clear-headed thinking under the most stressful conditions: sick father, betraying, lying partner. The depth of betrayal would have me in a fetal position for a time before the raging anger took over.

You deserve better. You'll survive this blow to your heart and spirit and find a fulfilling life.

edit to add: If I have any marital problems with infidelity in the future - I'm going to ask YOU for advice and support!


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

Thankyou for the kind words walkon but im hurting of course i am and it ain't gonna be easy moving on ,im 44 now and i think my previous experience of grief and loss will help me get over this..


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

peterbarnes said:


> Thankyou for the kind words walkon but im hurting of course i am and it ain't gonna be easy moving on ,im 44 now and i think my previous experience of grief and loss will help me get over this..


You are a young man. You are a young man. 44 is the new 34. 
You're hurting? *NO DOUBT*

Your heart and soul have been wounded and it will take time for the wound to scar over. And the scar will be permanent - but you come across as a_* strong*_ person in spirit, body, and heart. 

In your other thread you asked about how to avoid your betraying partner and are getting tips there. After a time you will want to give her an opportunity to explain herself. She owes you that (but then again, she owed you honesty and fidelity before and that didn't work out too well). 

If she takes that opportunity to fully explain, seek forgiveness and repent you may find that your past with her may have you reconsider your future with her. That's for you to say and feel. 

YOU WILL DO FINE.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Hey I'm 45 and dating again you'll be fine.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

peterbarnes said:


> Thanks for all your replies,but this relationship is no over FULL STOP..
> 
> she was suppose to come around tonight but did'nt despite me sitting in and waiting..
> 
> ...


Probably an emergency meeting and matching up stories with the OM.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

My point to visit OM's house was not to confront them but to confirm.
To be honest, the second phone and specially the hiding is very telling, it's likely a full blown EA-PA affair, but some people need the smoking gun. 
She can always gaslights you: "it was just texting", just a friend, yada yada, right? With solid evidence you can save that part. That's why is so important evidence gathering. They lie as they breath unless you break them with the ugly truth.

To me, just the fact she got a second secret phone after the first blow seal the deal but I'm not going to judge anyone's choice if you are still considering R.


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## peterbarnes (Oct 7, 2012)

@warlock you know how to make people feel better with your comments lol

@Tom thanks for you comments :]

@Acabado ahh i read you post as go and confront the OM which i wont do cos iv already done time in prison for assualt

I dont think i need it comfirmed i think she has already done that by her actions and the fact that she wont show me the texts on her phone..Yeah he's just a friend blah blah blah she said

it wont be easy but i'll move on..


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

You better move on Pete, been there done the time, hear what you saying. 
Believe me, you WILL be alright. 
Hell, you still a kid. I got 10 on ya, and got a whole new life 

Yeah you gonna go in a dark hurtful place for a while, but it won't last, for anger is gonna jump ya too, then feeling sorry for yourself.
Its a roller coaster PB, but you have what it takes.

As for exposing. Hell yeah !! Family should be told NOW !!! Friends also. Even he son should know how she treated the man that raised him as his own.
Just let them know they can reach you at your dad, for you found out she was cheating on you.
I would hold off on the job for now. BUT get all info you can on him, and tear his world up. Nothing physical, just expose him if married or have a GF. Then give some thought to exposing to HR. 

And stick around, for she is going to be contacting you. 
But all you want is your stuff.
Do not talk relationship with her. Every word out of her mouth will be a lie. You seeing that already with the " just a friend ".

Also I hope you see now why we was so sure it was physical. And was sure you would never see the txts. 
Oh, go get yourself tested for VDs. But be sure to thank her for the experience.
You see, most cheating sex is unprotected.

So just do the things you need to do, but look out for the coaster.
And what ever you do, kick her to the curb.

Man I am still peeved, two damn phones. One before she was even caught. That is NOT a beginners move. thats experienced.


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