# 3rd anniversary of no sex



## jacko (Aug 25, 2013)

I'm at my wit's end and would welcome any feedback. My wife and I have been married for nearly 9 years. Our sex life has never been great, and several years into our marriage, she told me she felt she had a physiological problem. I understood and didn't press her. Then in 2009, she had an "emotional affair" with a co-worker. We kinda got past that, but then, in 2010 our so-so sex life ceased altogether. I'm still totally attracted to her, but she's completely shut down sexually. We're on our third therapist and living separately. Recently she told me she can't envision having sex with anyone for the rest of her life. There's more psychological stuff I could share, but would take pages. I'm heartbroken and she seems to be, too. She's my best friend and I love her, but how can I stay in this marriage? Opinions? Thoughts? (FYI, I'm early 50s, she's early 40s, no kids by choice, no money troubles, 1st marriage for her, 2nd for me (widowed)). Help?!?


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Three years? I don't know what to say...

If the issue is physical, did she see a doctor? 

I'm grouchy after 3 days and I'm your age.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The kind of friend who would turn me down for years while flirting with another man is the kind of "friend" I don't need. She's not with you physically, sexually, emotionally, or geographically. Not sure how this "wife" could be adding much to your life. Every day you spend in this misery is 24 hours you could be giving and receiving love with a fully functional human being, capable of actually keeping their vows.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

She has an emotional affair and now has cut off sex. What is there to stay for. Maybe to snap her out of this, ask her if it would be ok to get your needs met elsewhere. If she doesn't care just divorce.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

It seems its one thing for her to choose a life of celibacy for herself - but she shouldn't be able to make that choice for you. If you cared to live a celibate life why be married.

Would she be okay with you getting your needs met elsewhere? That might be somewhat of a compromise but I don't think I would care to live in a celibate marriage where she is not willing to change the situation.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

I'm a few years younger than you divorced with a gf we will meet up and at least twice a week and we don't live together. It's what can you put up with I for one could not especially for 3 years, no way.


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