# So lost



## liz22012 (Jan 12, 2018)

After speaking with a second attorney he told be right off the back that I would need to pay my husband 1/3rd of my salary. No fighting just it is what it is. His choice is to work as little as possible and he will be rewarded. I was told that I may need to sell the house as I probably couldn't afford it after the alimony payments per week. So after I looked at the numbers he will be making more money than me with my support. He also lives somewhere rent free. How can this happen and why wouldn't an attorney try to fight this. Almost like nothing you can do attitude. That does not include half the house and my retirement because he does not have one.
He has not contributed money towards anything for 8 months and when he was living with me he spent his paychecks.
I know I am venting but almost seems better to deal with it and stay married.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Welcome to the reality of no-fault divorce. It often sucks for the breadwinner.

Even if you stay married, there’s nothing to prevent HIM from filing for divorce later on. He will get an even better deal than if you go ahead and file now — the longer you’re married, the longer he collects.

Better to divorce now if you really don’t want to be married to him.


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## liz22012 (Jan 12, 2018)

You are right I do not disagree. Just messed up. Since we have been together he has been fired from 2 jobs and leaves his garabage around for me to clean. He started drinking again and the reasons was the house is too much work and I make him work full time. He drained us financially with his spending. Since he moved out I was able to save a little money. It is just messed up his standard of living will be better than mine and I will be paying for it. He is lazy.
Shouldn't he be liable for the household expenses since he claims it is his house?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

There are ways around it. Do your homework...besides one attorney. 

You could move to another state where the divorce laws are easier. 
You could stay married, separate, sell the house...all the while planning the divorce. 
You could talk to a few more attorneys. 
You could settle with him before it ever goes in front of a judge. 

Keep figuring it out.


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## bankshot1993 (Feb 10, 2014)

At the risk of sounding like a bitter old man, you are now dealing with the reality that millions of men deal with. seems like a pretty raw deal but for every woman that is complaining about this there is twenty men going through it and I don't see anyone crying foul when those men are forced to live on kraft dinner while their XW lives the high life .


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

liz22012 said:


> He has not contributed money towards anything for 8 months and when he was living with me he spent his paychecks.
> I know I am venting but almost seems better to deal with it and stay married.


Evidently the court believes that if you tolerated that for 8 months while you were married, then it must have been OK with you. To impose something different (perhaps more moral) after divorce would be out of their jurisdiction of power. They are impartial.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Unfortunately, there are are plenty of users around. Get more advice so you know exactly what you're facing.


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## jarhed (Nov 11, 2012)

bankshot1993 said:


> At the risk of sounding like a bitter old man, you are now dealing with the reality that millions of men deal with. seems like a pretty raw deal but for every woman that is complaining about this there is twenty men going through it and I don't see anyone crying foul when those men are forced to live on kraft dinner while their XW lives the high life .




My sentiments exactly! This happens to men every day. I'm not happy this is happening to you, but join the divorce-rape-sausage-party. It predominately happens to us.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Life sucks sometimes.

But it will get better!


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