# Marriage counseling- will it help?



## GRNY98 (Apr 28, 2010)

Married for nearly 13 years, going to counseling for a second time this week, we both went a few years ago as well and it seemed to help. She had continued on her own afterwards. So whats too expect this second time around? I remember the past counseling sessions were good but totally exhausting and heart wrenching and I am not feeling up to it at all. I know it will be worth it cause I want to save my marriage and am sure airing our differences out loud with an impartial 3rd party can only help...part of me owrries that the counselor would take ones side or lean toward one party being more at fault and needing change more readily than the other. Guess I have butterfiles which is odd for me, I have nothing to hide but am concerned we wil walk out of there either ready to split or ready to work it out, either is going to be hard.


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## OneMarriedGuy (Apr 5, 2010)

One thing to be aware of - if it appears a marriage could be in big jeopardy, a good and astute counselor may appear to side heavily with the partner that is the one most looking to jet.

Reason being is the nonjetting partner is already willing to work on things and accepting responsibility for their role in the problems. The one ready to jet is often feeling they've done everything forever and what is the point of now trying more and accepting no responsibility for their actions. Yes, they may admit they did things that were not right but it was only because the other person drove them to it. If both think they are blameless, well then the counselor really has their work cut out for them 

So, beware this is always a possibility and you may have to take it on the chin for a bit if this is you.

But in the end YES it will be good for you. It will help you see better how she thinks/reacts, and how you think/react


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## GRNY98 (Apr 28, 2010)

Thanks for the insight, guess I'll just be totally stressed till the session takes place. Ill report the results and hope for the best.


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## OneMarriedGuy (Apr 5, 2010)

Aaah - don't wait in stress, do something proactive. Maybe read a bit about the five love languages or read about what women want from men. Take this test/questionnaire for yourself and then pretend you were her answering it and ask her to do the same, might give yo some surprise answers as to how she/you feel love.

Love Languages Test

Or not  I say this because for me, if my mind is busy, I stress less


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## omar77 (May 10, 2010)

well it depends on you and your partner if you're both being honest and want to solve the problems and not alleviating them then it will be helpful otherwise i don't think so if you were both not 100% convinced in it.


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