# Anyone in along distance marraige after infediltiy and reconsilation?



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My husband has been living back at home since new years. Then he was laid off January 30th. He stayed at home job attached for 6 months. We were going through hard times, but I got used to him being home all the time. Things definatly changed from our routine before seperation. We spent almost 100% of our time together. he would even send me cute texts when I was in other areas of the hosue to say Hi and send me random I love u's. We went to the gym together, when we were done he would wait for me to get out of teh locker room. Than he would have a notepad on his written "I love You"

Now hes 800 miles away working and I'm living at his parents with our children. It now seems we have more down times then up times. I'm really missing the routines and I'm missing the kind of connection we had. Hes an hour time difference than me.

Making things worse for me is the thought of being apart on our anniversary thats coming up in August. Theres a bunch of reasons that it really really pains me to be away from him. First August was when things last hyear really hit the fan. I was not yet in my EA, but our anniversary was so bad. I thought he was not in love with me. My husband had a PA that he met on a dating site while we were seperated. He did it so easily that I fear that he will have needs 800 miles away and do it again. When ever I feel a disconnection and my husband not wanting to talk on the phone with me I stress. You can text somone from anywhere maintaining a relationship while having another relationship. he did it to me with his PA. When he started the PA he was constantly emailing me. If the timeline of his pA is true....we met up in person 2 wks after he met her. After we had met up my husband and I started texting eachother all the time.

anyone else out there been through this type of thing. Its killing me to be so far away from my husband


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I work half a world away from home 30 days at a time. I understand where you're coming from. During and after reconciliation after infidelity, there will likely never be 100% trust between you. If the R is genuine, there has to be some level of trust and understanding. In that level of trust, each of you has to understand that your partner may not be available for phone conversation or texts 24/7. Work can create some schedule snafus, so just because he didn't answer your phone call does not automatically mean that he is out with some girl.
Check out the stories in my sig for more details on how we got through it.
Feel free to pm me if you want, I am almost always available.


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## YellowRoses (Jun 2, 2012)

Ooops, I see you have posted 2 threads on the same subject ?

I've replied on the other but can see now why you are so nervous

Not easy but it is up to him to behave in a way that makes you feel reassured. You can't force it out of him and noone can really help you with that other than him. 800m away and anonymous, he can do what he wants really should he choose to. You have to be direct with why you are so anxious. If he is on board with you, he'll make it work

Maybe he could share his schedules with you then at least you would know when he 'should' be available or understand how busy he really is


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

It's been hard and is for sure another test of our marriage after reconsilation and the infedility. It's really up and down. This has been so hard. This is the 3rd time he's traveled to work. He's been gone for 2 weeks and it seems harder this time than ever before. Not just because I'm living with his parents. I think it's harder because we figured out what we really want in each other and I feel a connection with him that I didn't feel before seperation. We both let life, kids and families opinions get in the way of our life and love. 

This kind of seperation has tested our trust. I now have to learn to trust him and he has to learn to trust me.

I'm finding it hard to keep the connection in love feeling with him, but then when he texts me that he misses me so much or he sends me a note, that feeling comes back.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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