# Hoping turning into acceptance



## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

I might be on the road to mending. Believe me, I still get plenty sad that my ex H is not around. Not here to enjoy the holiday prep, the shopping, hang out with our son who is home from college. Not put up the tree and all that fun stuff. But I am realizing that if I don't accept that he is not coming back, I might be missing out on the chance to get all that with someone else. Its the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it will so be worth it. I'd love to hear what helped you get there. I am handling all the holiday stuff pretty well, cried a bit at the tree farm, but overall doing ok. Still doing dopey stuff like sending him the odd email, but not nearly so often. I want so badly to start the new year with a new attitude


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

This Christmas will be my first w/o W. We met in '97. It will be hard but you will make it. The hardest part is when you have been together for so many years, you have forgotten how to date or how to attract someone.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Stop sending emails to him. At all. Delete it from your address book. 

Try to create a new tradition. Christmas eve with friends or doing something the ex never liked. It's all about looking forward.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

2nd one for me too. I had barely moved into the house a month prior to christmas last year, but this one seems to be better. I find myself missing the energy I got from other people in the house getting excited and decorating. Doing it myself wasnt fun, so I waited until my kid was with me for the week. got most of the stuff up and looking good. 
The closest family I have around is an hour drive one way or the other, so its reliant in friends for companionship during the holidays for me. 
Strangely, i think its good this way, i mean, its okay. Im not stressed out in the least bit, which was always a prevailing factor in the past when i was married, and we were a family together.
I miss getting up in the middle of the night with the wife and putting the kids gifts from santa out under the tree. good stuff.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Shoo-I read your blog. I commend you on your efforts and final decision. Yeah I have no kids so I could not imagine not being with him/her on Christmas Eve. One day I can be Brian McKnight and have that 'one last cry'


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I am SO looking forward to to this Christmas without the H. Both my kids want nothing to do with him now. Before it was just my daughter and my son wanted him to be around and I was in the middle. I'm hoping to have a fun, non stressful holiday with me and my kids. My daughter's boyfriend will be coming over for dinner on Christmas Day. 

We have an interesting Christmas meal. Basically everyone can get and eat whatever they want. It's a real mishmash. My daughter wants sweet and sour meatballs and wants to cook them. I want a lobster so I'll pick one up and do fresh mozzarella with roasted peppers and tomotoes. The boyfriend put in a request for my homemade hot clam dip and my son is still mulling it over. Usually he gets pepperoni and cheese strombolis but after living on take out pizza and strombolis for months at his father's house he can't even look at these things. 

I guess my H will have his rum and cigarettes at his house. Who knows if he will even realize it's Christmas? He'd better get used to spending holidays alone. 

Two years ago was when I had the difficult Christmas. My H had moved out right after Thanksgiving (which was a mess) and I had found our new apartment and spent most of the time before Christmas packing up all our stuff and working long days because of the Christmas rush. Christmas week is always crazy at work. 

Now, it's a blur to look back on. Move in day was the 27th. My kids and I had a picnic on the floor to eat Christmas dinner because everything was packed away. We didn't have a tree that year either. It was weird. The following day we were having a garage sale to sell a lot of the stuff and then we had a huge blizzard..What a bizarre holiday that was! 

This holiday is similar in many ways in that I'm making big changes but I feel good and optimistic instead of sad and stressed. It's amazing how a good mental attitude changes things.


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