# really confused and hurting



## Serinity1980 (Oct 22, 2013)

The other night I had a discussion with my husband concerning sex, he wanted to know how I felt about it and why I no longer initiate it and I had to tell him honestly that he made me feel bad about myself when I try to initiate sex with him , maybe I should have lied... he watches a lot of porn and I think he expects that women should act like they do in porno's. So now he is verbally jabbing at me about me being a cold fish or us just being roommates. If I point out what he is doing then he just will sit there and harass me until I'm so confused. I'm just so confused and hurt right now. when he try's to touch me I flinch away or when I know he's going to touch me I get the cold shiver of fear down my spine. Maybe I am crazy...


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

Serinity1980 said:


> The other night I had a discussion with my husband concerning sex, he wanted to know how I felt about it and why I no longer initiate it and I had to tell him honestly that he made me feel bad about myself when I try to initiate sex with him , maybe I should have lied... he watches a lot of porn and I think he expects that women should act like they do in porno's. So now he is verbally jabbing at me about me being a cold fish or us just being roommates. If I point out what he is doing then he just will sit there and harass me until I'm so confused. I'm just so confused and hurt right now. when he try's to touch me I flinch away or when I know he's going to touch me I get the cold shiver of fear down my spine. Maybe I am crazy...


Serenity
you are not crazy, I think you should ask yourself these questions for your own sanity.
Why do you get a cold shiver down your spine when he is going to touch you?
Do you still enjoy sex?
How long has this been happening?

How long have you two been married? Do you have any children? Is he being physically abusive? For what I read, sounds like he is verbally abusive.

I am sorry you are going feeling this way, good communication is vital in understanding ourselves and our marriage. I think you should focus on you, understand the reason you feel this way towards sex.

Hopefully it helps.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

You and your husband might get some help by seeing a counselor.

It sounds like your husband would love for you to initiate sex with him and this is something that you can not have happen.

Did you ever feel close to him? Is there some resentment that has built up over a period of time?

Without counseling, and trying to find a compromise, both of you can build a wall to keep the other spouse out.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

So here you opened up about something sensitive, and he is being an ass about it. Yeah, that will get you to want to screw him. Jerk.


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## TikiKeen (Oct 14, 2013)

"I do not have sex with verbal abusers who name-call when their unspoken expectations are not met" is what he needs to hear in some way.

Marriage counseling, asap. It's not about sex; it's about power, misogyny (yes, calling one's wife a cold fish is misogynist) and poor communication. (And fear, but I narrow pretty much all conflict and negative emotion down to that.)


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## essy (Oct 21, 2013)

I am also in a similar situation at times where I just don't start.. he would be the one trying to initiate and I would just be lazy/tired/self continuous? at times because all the porn he would watch would have ladies with hot bodies. I don't have the best body but am happy with what i have and I think we should all feel pleased about ourselves 

Sit down with him and tell him how you feel...
If you are confused and not sure what the problem is maybe see someone who can help figure our your feelings


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## angiemcentire74 (Oct 23, 2013)

i have the same situation my husband can not keep his eyes off other women which also makes me self continuous it has and is about to cause us a divorce i am not a beauty queen but pretty well built and not ugly and have never felt this way in my life


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## angiemcentire74 (Oct 23, 2013)

your not crazy its the things they do to make us feel the way we do if they are so satisfied with their marraige why do they still have interest in other women


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