# men- do you want all your fantasies?



## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

My husband thinks it's odd that I fantasize about things that I don't actually want to have happen in real life. He claims that he only fantasizes about things that he either wants to do, or has done and enjoyed. Examples would be: I have rape fantasies - but never want to _actually _be raped, of course. that's kind of an obvious example but there are a lot more. I also fantasize about impossible scenarios (like things taking place 200 years ago) which he just doesn't get AT ALL. But to me, it's a turn-on and fun even if it's not real life.

A side note to this is that he hasn't masturbated since we got married (according to him. I'm very positive about masturbation, no judgment whatsoever, and he did it openly before we lived together, so I do believe this), which may have something to do with why his fantasy life is not so well developed.

So - do you ever fantasize about things that you know you don't want to do, just because it's fun to do? Or is this just a female thing?


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

Heck yeah, I've fantasized about making woopy on top of the Metrodome, just the thought of being in public and being on top of the roof. That isn't going to happen anytime soon.

I've fantasized about having a threesome, but I don't really want to do it.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

"So - do you ever fantasize about things that you know you don't want to do, just because it's fun to do? Or is this just a female thing?"

Sure. I think it's universal. I've fantasized about what it might look like in the deepest part of the ocean. I don't want to go there personally, to see it.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I have some fantasies I would never want to make real, and many others that I have made real, including threesomes. The ones I don't want to make real were explorations of ideas to see if they were something I'd like to pursue for real and decided they weren't for me. Of course, some were worth pursuing!

I've never considered a historical fantasy - that does nothing for me. For me, it at least needs the _potential _to be real even if it's exceedingly unlikely.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

I think this is fairly common irrespective of gender. There are things I fantasize about that either aren't practical or that I wouldn't pursue because the possible negative consequences might be too great.

From a more practical standpoint, there are also fantasies that we have that may be very hot and erotic in the perfectly scripted forms that our minds create but that are not nearly so hot IRL once we actually try them.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I fantasize about someone cleaning my house, and I can assure you I most definitely want that fantasy to come true.


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## jayde (Jun 17, 2011)

No, I don't want all my fantasies to come true. And most days, I'd be happy with the not-so-fantasies-just-realistic-sex to happen too!


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Zero gravity whoopee. On one hand I totally DO want this to happen. Then i think about the mess.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I would love to have my fantasies done with my wife, oh yes.

But she is vanilla and LD, so not happening.

I would love to try anal with her, oiled breast, hand and foot jobs, talk dirty, watch adult movies with her and do those things as we watch, lots of fun toys, blind folds, being tied up, in the shower, outside and I would like another woman - 3 some, but that's a fantasy that shall remain just that.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Deejo said:


> I fantasize about someone cleaning my house, and I can assure you I most definitely want that fantasy to come true.


This is when it is worth it to hire a pro. They do it better than anyone and the rates are so cheap!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Erm no, some fantasies are best left in dreamworld, the reality of it... no way

If this article applies to you:
Women's Rape Fantasies: How Common? What Do They Mean? | Psychology Today

Then show it to your husband


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I think part of the appeal of fantasies is just that: its a fantasy, and if you make it a reality it will lose its role as a fantasy, esp if it turns out to be less than you hoped. Some things are great to try but others are best left as fantasies. Besides, everyone needs a fantasy sometimes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ninjamonkey (Nov 26, 2013)

Hey Omega,

I think Deejo is on to something...



Like others have mentioned, it really is more of a person-to-person matter rather than a gender-specific one. As the various responses you have already received have proven. 

Ultimately it's most important that we are open and honest with our spouses about the different sexual thoughts/fantasies that come to mind. Which it sounds like you are already doing, so that's a good thing, regardless of the other particulars.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Prisons are full of people who impulsively act on their fantasies. If all my fantasies came true, I'd nail half the women I see. That wouldn't make me popular with my wife or with a lot of husbands. It wouldn't be career-enhancing on my job, either.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

I think you refere to sexual fantasies, and sure as many people I have alot I am sure that many people have many of the ones I am about to enlist but like this is a forum who support BSs they don't want to write them:

- sleeping with GFs or wives of my friends, unfortunatly getting close with women partners of friends is common as result of daily interaction, but I have never done it and I will never do it, I know how to keep boundaries uncluding situations with alcohol.

- seducing, sleeping and dumping a married woman who was really mean (she was evil) to me when we were kids and has flirted with me these days. (Even if I will feel satisfaction by owning her, her kids and husband is a burden I am not willing to carry the rest of my life, and I know she is not a good person, so it will not be a surprise to me if she have had affairs in the past).

- rape fantasy is also in my list (but unlike porn movies I know she will not begin to enjoying half way asking for more, I know in real rape there is screaming, crying and blood, of course the one I fantasize is porn movie type, BTW I have played this fantasy with some of my sexual partners).

we let fantasies in fantazy world because we know that actions have consequences


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

omega said:


> My husband thinks it's odd that I fantasize about things that I don't actually want to have happen in real life. He claims that he only fantasizes about things that he either wants to do, or has done and enjoyed.


oops...I'm intruding to the Clubhouse. Relax, I bring donuts! 

Question back your way omega. Do you think it's odd that your husband doesn't fantasize about imaginary 'never going to happen' scenarios? And do you ever fantasize about things you would like to happen, as well as things you wouldn't?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

omega said:


> I also fantasize about impossible scenarios (like things taking place 200 years ago) which he just doesn't get AT ALL.


ahh... maybe he just needs to get there's a special blue sex box that travels time and relative dimensions in space and THAT's how those fantasies happen!


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> Question back your way omega. Do you think it's odd that your husband doesn't fantasize about imaginary 'never going to happen' scenarios? And do you ever fantasize about things you would like to happen, as well as things you wouldn't?


I do think it's odd... or at least, I was completely surprised when he told me that, because I 100% assumed that he did - we do talk about our fantasies but it never really occurred to me that, yes, his are actually realistic! whereas mine are more nutty and crazy and impossible. I definitely DO fantasize about things that I DO want to happen, so I understand why he does that. I would say it's about 50/50 with me, if I had to put a number on it. The _really _wacky ones are less frequent I guess.

We talked about it more last night... he was chuckling at me because I was so incredulous. He says that he is more turned on by visualizing something than by coming up with a whole convoluted story (I'm a convoluted story person myself) so that does make sense, though I admit I'm slightly sad that he doesn't have the convoluted story fantasies because they are so much fun. But then he says that real sex is more fun. Sure, okay. He pointed out that I'm very in-my-own-head a lot of the time, and he really isn't. :scratchhead: 

I am dying to know what goes on in that head of his... especially when he insists that it's "nothing." Nothing? Is that even physically possible? Married for 3.5 years and still cannot read his mind....


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

Interesting question. I think all of my fantasies are doable, and they almost all include or center around my wife. However, if push came to shove, and I was presented with the opportunity to fulfill them, not sure I would. Since they all center around my wife it would depend on her insistence or enthusiasm. I've always told her (almost) nothing is off limits if SHE really wants it. But, alas, she is fairly vanilla, as well.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

omega said:


> So - do you ever fantasize about things that you know you don't want to do, just because it's fun to do? Or is this just a female thing?


When I was younger I used to fantasize about a lot of crazy stuff. Stuff i wouldn't share under threat of torture.

That said, most of my fantasies now involve taking some aspect of the crazy stuff and also my wife. 

For example, like the "random sex" fantasy replaced with pretending not to know her and picking my wife up at a bar after both of us taking off our rings. 

I think there is a lot of room for creativity in a marriage where we can safely discuss and act out fantasies, even crazy ones, without crossing boundaries.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

omega said:


> My husband thinks it's odd that I fantasize about things that I don't actually want to have happen in real life. He claims that he only fantasizes about things that he either wants to do, or has done and enjoyed. Examples would be: I have rape fantasies - but never want to _actually _be raped, of course. that's kind of an obvious example but there are a lot more. I also fantasize about impossible scenarios (like things taking place 200 years ago) which he just doesn't get AT ALL. But to me, it's a turn-on and fun even if it's not real life.
> 
> A side note to this is that he hasn't masturbated since we got married (according to him. I'm very positive about masturbation, no judgment whatsoever, and he did it openly before we lived together, so I do believe this), which may have something to do with why his fantasy life is not so well developed.
> 
> So - do you ever fantasize about things that you know you don't want to do, just because it's fun to do? Or is this just a female thing?


Very interesting. I have a major threeway fantasy. Like the thought of the person I'm with with another chick majorly turns me on. Talking about it turns me on. Kind of a weird circumstance, but there's been two times in my life I thought it might happen, I immediately got really scared and didn't want anything to do with it.

So no, I do not want all my sexual fantasies to come true. Some of them yes, but nothing involving other people, which is a lot of my fantasies. Maybe if it was someone I didn't care about it would be a different story.


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