# ALMOST at the end of my rope



## BLT990204 (Jun 23, 2010)

*I am almost at the end of my rope. I have been with my husband for many years now, we have three beautiful children together. But I can't seem to get him to TRY to work on US. He tells me that there isn't anything wrong with us, that I am overreacting or blowing things out of proportion but, it isn't that. 
My husband hasn't been working but, has been collecting unemployment going on three years now which has just expired after an extension. I work full time and support our family. We made an agreement that he would stay home and be "Mr. Mom" for awhile but, he hasn't been keeping up with his end of the bargin. I find out from my sons that my husband doesn't feed them, my sister does. There has been days where I have come home from work to find the house filthy, clothes that I just washed on the floor dirty again (He told me he doesn't do laundry) , and my bed oh don't even get me started on how dirty my bedroom is. And there's my husband stuck to the playstation yelling obsenities to his "friends" online until 5 sometimes 6 in the morning. Then he sleeps all the way until I have to leave for work and repeats the cycle. 
I am tired. I try to talk to him but, I find I can't anymore I get to angry to fast. I look up additional supports online, try to read articles or books on relationship advice but, to no avail. He is in complete denial. And I am so frustrated I don't know whether to cry, run away, or call it quits. I work so hard and he accuses me of being "money hungry" because I get upset when he spends money on foolish things. Of course I get upset! When I need to pay a bill and he spends the money on a F******* videogame you bet your behind I'm pissed! I don't know what to do with him. He thinks I'm trying to control him by having him take on more responsibilities and I refuse to cater to his "WANTS" right now. So any advice would be greatly appreciated. *


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

He may need a jolt to get him to understand. Pack up the kids and go to your sister's house for a few days. Tell him you *ARE* at the end of your rope. That he is not being a father, a husband or a provider and it's time he steps up to the plate on all fronts. Living like this is inexcusable.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

And cut him off from your money.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

he seems lazy and your enabling it. i know you wish he had the drive and conscience to get up and get a job, but it doesnt appear he does


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## Mal74 (Dec 24, 2009)

Parasites feed on a host organism. They will kill the host if left unchecked. Your husband has chosen the path of a parasite. To one degree or another you have tolerated or even encouraged his parasitism.

So, what now?


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## Harvard (Aug 11, 2009)

As far as taking care of the house and feeding the kids, don't expect any guy to do a good job.

As far as th eunemployment, tell him you you plan on finding a man who has a job AND cut off the money to where he must ask you for some when he truly needs it. He will either change fast or tell you to stick it!

Either way you will have your answer...:scratchhead:


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

Harvard, I disagree. My H is the stay at home parent, and he does an excellent job of taking care of the house AND taking care of our two boys under 5. The difference is, my H now views our marriage as a partnership, where we both work together to meet our goals. It does not sound like her H shares this view. He is happily getting a free ride, and has no desire to share in the responsibilitiies, he wants to be taken care of like another kid. You are either willing to continue to facilitate this behavior, or you have to figure out what you are willing to do to stop it...


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Harvard said:


> As far as taking care of the house and feeding the kids, don't expect any guy to do a good job.


Bull crap!!!


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## Harvard (Aug 11, 2009)

first, let me re-phrase the statement about men and their domestic and parenting abilities...a lot of men do not do as good a job as a woman. Second, I am sure that many men do a fine job too. you can relax now with your bs flag amp :bsflag:


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