# Am I rushing?



## LVF (May 5, 2013)

Hi everyone,

I'm 24 years old, married for 2 years. About 2 months ago I totally stopped feeling attracted to my husband. It happened after 2 years of very little sex and a certain change of opinions about how to build our future. Although I feel he was a bait-and-switch, I know he's a great guy and deserves to be happy. I really like him as a person but not as a lover anymore. 

Since we often spend some time in different countries, I was thinking of asking him for a few months of separation. On one side, it breaks my heart because I know will hurt him very much. On the other side, I can't stop being "jealous" of single people's life and dream about the career and opportunities I left behind since I married him. I also feel ashamed to put my extended family through this.

Am I rushing if I ask for a few/several months away before asking for divorce? I admit we rushed when getting married. 2 months is not much time (most advise 1 year, but is to before separating or before getting divorced?) I don't want to rush to destroy everything now but I start to feel uncomfortable with the little intimacy we have now and my head is always somewhere else. If he was just my boyfriend I would break up now. We have no kids either.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What suddenly changed two months ago?

And yes, I think it's unfair of you to go live the single life for months while he waits for you to decide what you want. If you want to be single, go be single.

C


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## LVF (May 5, 2013)

It didn't suddenly change, it was the result of 2 years of feeling lonely and lacking intimacy. I was very enthusiastic and tried everything during these 2 years...

I don't want a few months to go live a single life to decide. Right now I feel like going different ways is the best for both instead of wondering around for a few more years. But since I'm married I would like to give it a try. It's not like I want to put marriage on hold while I go to pubs and then come back as if everything was normal. I was just wondering how long one should feel like this to make sure I won't regret divorce nor ask separation in vain.


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## mtpromises (May 27, 2013)

Marriage is tough and my story is similar to yours. There's probably not one solid answer anyone can give you on how long you allow yourself to stay married when you've fallen out of love because it's a personal choice and some people do stay married simply for legal reasons and live separate lives from their spouse.

You need to do what feels right for you and if you feel like you might be rushing give yourself some extra time to think about what you really want.


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