# uma - Please help me



## Uma

hi,

we are newly married couple we are having lots of missunderstanding between us. the main problem between us my husband loved one girl before marr. he always think i should be like her in all ways in looks and character and his mind always comparing me with her x lover. he is not attracted to me he is not commited to me. how should i handle this problem. he is short tempered and very sensitive also wht shoul i do please give me some good advice


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## Mindful Coach

I'm sorry to hear about this Uma. It must be very painful to always be compared to another woman. I'm wondering why you got married to each other?


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## Uma

it has happened. i have to find way to slove this matter


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## Jellybeans

I don't understand why you married him either if you knew he wasn't over his ex and holds a torch for her. huge mistake. I wouldn't stay wit someone who isn't committed to me or attracted to me like you said. That isn't love or a marriage. Find out why you're willing to accept crumbs from someone and stay with someone who treats you as second best.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mindful Coach

Uma,

What has happened? Your marriage or being compared to another woman? 

There are many choices you could make, without knowing why you got married, it's hard to know what to say.


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## that_girl

Jellybeans said:


> I don't understand why you married him either if you knew he wasn't over his ex and holds a torch for her. huge mistake. I wouldn't stay wit someone who isn't committed to me or attracted to me like you said. That isn't love or a marriage. Find out why you're willing to accept crumbs from someone and stay with someone who treats you as second best.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:


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## KellyK

Uma said:


> it has happened. i have to find way to slove this matter


I'll answer based on the statement above, that you are married to this man and want to stay married to him.

Just recognize that his issues are his and don't have anything to do with you. Don't let him upset you or hurt your feelings. Stay true to yourself, continue with your own interests and try to include him and in time you can hope he will come to love you the way you deserve.

Life your life, be good to yourself, be a good wife... and when his nasty temper rears it's head stay calm and walk away. Go about your business and don't give him any reaction. If he brings up his former love, make it clear you don't want her name ever mentioned in your home again.

This isn't the answer most people would give, but I think perhaps you are not from a Western culture and I take you at your word that you are in this marriage and staying there. So don't let your home turn into a place of arguments. If he is having problems, they are his. When he is in a good mood, make sure those times are enjoyable and maybe he will learn how to be nice and get along.

Good luck, Uma.


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## Jellybeans

This thread is nearly a year old


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