# Did she really just try to set me up?



## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

I bumped into an old friend barhopping tonight. She's the 30 year old ex-roommate of a girl I dated. She was out drinking with 2 of her coworkers. We all had a great time carousing but I actually had eyes for a server at one of the bars who was hanging out after her shift. I talked with her most of the night and there was obvious chemistry. After last call I invited all 4 ladies out for a bite to eat. I did this on purpose because I thought the girl I liked might decline if it was just the two of us. Seeing as how we just met, I figured she'd feel much safer in the company of other women. Anyway, we all went to a late night diner. There were times during the meal that it felt like the two of us were on a date while sharing the table with 3 other girls. Anyway, they each were about to Uber home until I offered to drive everybody. Sadly, the only girl who declined my offer was the girl I spent the whole night talking to. Oh well. I did friend her on Facebook...

So while driving them home, my old friend insisted that I drop her and her coworker off first, then circle back and drop her other coworker last. She and her coworker kept giggling and insisting I was practically neighbors with other coworker. It made no sense at all as we are not really neighbors. It felt like an obvious setup to get me to be alone with her friend - who just happened to choose to sit in the front seat next to me. Anyway, I just drove her home and dropped her off. I did nothing because along the way she told me she was 22. I'm 44! It creeped me out that I could be her dad. Why did my friend try to set me up with her 22 year old coworker??? That's just too young for me... I can't read the situation any other way...


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Dude, turn in your man card.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Wait, are you MARRIED?????


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> Wait, are you MARRIED?????


His posts would suggest he is, now.


So yes, he does need to surrender his man card. :grin2:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Yeah, because in your jurisdiction it is illegal for a man over 40 to even speak with a woman in her 20s.

Boy! You certainly dodged a bullet there, right enough.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

OP, Did you get dating advice from SMG?!


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Yes, she was trying to set you up with the 22 year old. Likely not with a view to a long-term relationship, but for a bit of fun. I'm not sure there's any need to be offended that a 22 year old thought you were hot enough to shag. As long as everyone understands the nature of the game, then play or not - as you prefer.

Oh, and you do not pick up a woman you are interested in by inviting a bunch of other random women along. You were much more likely to end up on a real date with the waitress by exchanging numbers and actually asking her to have coffee/dinner/whatever with you this weekend. In other words, ask the woman out on a date like a grownup!


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

DayOne said:


> His posts would suggest he is, now.
> 
> 
> So yes, he does need to surrender his man card. :grin2:




Ok. He is not married. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Rowan said:


> Yes, she was trying to set you up with the 22 year old. Likely not with a view to a long-term relationship, but for a bit of fun. I'm not sure there's any need to be offended that a 22 year old thought you were hot enough to shag. As long as everyone understands the nature of the game, then play or not - as you prefer.
> 
> Oh, and you do not pick up a woman you are interested in by inviting a bunch of other random women along. You were much more likely to end up on a real date with the waitress by exchanging numbers and actually asking her to have coffee/dinner/whatever with you this weekend. In other words, ask the woman out on a date like a grownup!


Here's what probably happened. The girls went to the bathroom/toilet/karsi and she said to your friend: "Wow! He's hot! Is he married? What's he like in bed? Could you set me up with him?"

So she said: "He is single. I don't know what he's like in bed/he is good in bed" and "Yeah, I'll set you up!"

And you blew the poor woman's dream up like this


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

C'mon, I wasn't offended but 22 is just too young for my tastes now. She was cute but maybe if she had been smoking hot I would have played it differently. I have daughters so I guess I don't like the idea of middle aged men preying on girls right out of college. 25 seems much older to me... Anyway, I was surprised my friend was so eager to have me shag her 22 year old coworker. I guess I kissed a gift horse in the mouth...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

TomorrowNeverKnows said:


> C'mon, I wasn't offended but 22 is just too young for my tastes now. She was cute but maybe if she had been smoking hot I would have played it differently. I have daughters so I guess I don't like the idea of middle aged men preying on girls right out of college. 25 seems much older to me... Anyway, I was surprised my friend was so eager to have me shag her 22 year old coworker. I guess I kissed a gift horse in the mouth...


She probably begged her for an introduction. 

And yes, something similar happened to me (though not the age difference) with the whispered conversation in toilet at a pub, with me the topic of the debate. They didn't realise that they were speaking so loudly that the person in the cubicle heard them and the conversation was eventually repeated to me.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

44 is the new 34. You didn't get the memo?

You should have hit that. If she liked you who cares about the age difference? Heck there are 44 year old cougars who bed college boys way younger than that and think nothing of it.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

speaking as a father with (3) 22 year olds girls you just grossed me out. that is just sick.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I had a FWB who was 27 years younger - of course, she was 30 when I met her, so my too-young-to-know-better exclusionary rule did not apply. Still, at your age I'm not sure I'd have passed that up!


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

Banned-It.45 said:


> 44 is the new 34. You didn't get the memo?
> 
> You should have hit that. If she liked you who cares about the age difference? Heck there are 44 year old cougars who bed college boys way younger than that and think nothing of it.


Maybe I should have. She just sounded like a 12 year old to me and I wasn't feeling it. Anyway, I just got dumped by my FWB and needed an ego boost and certainly got that. I'm much more interested in the waitress and she mentioned repeatedly she is single. I would have asked her out for coffee but she slipped into her Uber in an instant...


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Here's what probably happened. The girls went to the bathroom/toilet/karsi and she said to your friend: "Wow! He's hot! Is he married? What's he like in bed? Could you set me up with him?"
> 
> So she said: "He is single. I don't know what he's like in bed/he is good in bed" and "Yeah, I'll set you up!"
> 
> And you blew the poor woman's dream up like this


Probably EXACTLY what happened. I told my friend I was newly single as of the night before so she instantly tried to set me up.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

TomorrowNeverKnows said:


> Maybe I should have. She just sounded like a 12 year old to me and I wasn't feeling it. Anyway, I just got dumped by my FWB and needed an ego boost and certainly got that. I'm much more interested in the waitress and she mentioned repeatedly she is single. I would have asked her out for coffee but she slipped into her Uber in an instant...


Never take your eye off the target. She was pissed that you didn't ditch the other girls for her. 

Lost opportunity mi amigo. Trying to be a nice guy to the other three and look what it got ya (tsk, tsk, tsk....). 

You could have been snuggling with the waitress at a cozy pub somewhere. Oh well, live and learn.


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

Banned-It.45 said:


> Never take your eye off the target. She was pissed that you didn't ditch the other girls for her.
> 
> Lost opportunity mi amigo. Trying to be a nice guy to the other three and look what it got ya (tsk, tsk, tsk....).
> 
> You could have been snuggling with the waitress at a cozy pub somewhere. Oh well, live and learn.


Maybe she was pissed, maybe not. She could have also just been considerate. She lives a bit further than everyone else. We have a dozen mutual friends on Facebook so I'm certainly going to have more opportunities. I've seen her before and she recognized me so I knew she was interested. My friend and her know each other well. It's entirely possible they all know each other, though maybe not as well. My band used to gig at the bar where we all met and they work as servers / bartenders in the same area. It's pretty common for staff to frequent neighboring bars and grab a bite together after everything closes...


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

TomorrowNeverKnows said:


> Maybe I should have. *She just sounded like a 12 year old to me and I wasn't feeling it*. Anyway, I just got dumped by my FWB and needed an ego boost and certainly got that. I'm much more interested in the waitress and she mentioned repeatedly she is single. I would have asked her out for coffee but she slipped into her Uber in an instant...


That's a good-enough reason to pass up the opportunity, IMO. I don't have sex with someone unless I find them more than just physically attractive.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Xenote said:


> speaking as a father with (3) 22 year olds girls you just grossed me out. that is just sick.




Triplets?


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

spinsterdurga said:


> TomorrowNeverKnows said:
> 
> 
> > I've seen her before and she recognized me so I knew she was interested.
> ...


I saw her the last time I was there 4 months ago and we didn't say a word to each other so I'd say it was a queue...


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> Triplets?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yes


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

IMO. This is one of those missed opportunities that will wake you up at 2am screaming:


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

TomorrowNeverKnows said:


> C'mon, I wasn't offended but 22 is just too young for my tastes now.


She probably tastes great.


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

spinsterdurga said:


> TomorrowNeverKnows said:
> 
> 
> > I saw her the last time I was there 4 months ago and we didn't say a word to each other so I'd say it was a queue...
> ...


My instincts are just fine. We talked for 3 hours and she didn't go home until 3am. Definitely interested...


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

No not alone for one second. You are getting at?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

DayOne said:


> IMO. This is one of those missed opportunities that will wake you up at 2am screaming:


He made a good choice. If he had sex with the young woman, the news would've travelled around eventually within that group of women and the woman he is really interested in might end up thinking she made a lucky escape (not every woman would think this, but some would in that situation).


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

spinsterdurga said:


> Again it's not enough to tell whether she's into you or not.


It's really something you need to be there to see I think. Spending time with someone doesn't mean anything, but being there and seeing body language, having a conversation, tone of voice, is what he would be basing his conclusions on.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Just ask her out, and then you'll know for sure.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Mclane said:


> She probably tastes great.


I could probably guarantee it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

TomorrowNeverKnows said:


> My instincts are just fine. We talked for 3 hours and she didn't go home until 3am. Definitely interested...


Has she texted you since?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

*Deidre* said:


> Just ask her out, and then you'll know for sure.


No no, he needs to continue being complex and subliminal. She'll get the hint that he likes her. Eventually. After a year or so.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

breeze said:


> He made a good choice. If he had sex with the young woman, the news would've travelled around eventually within that group of women and the woman he is really interested in might end up thinking she made a lucky escape (not every woman would think this, but some would in that situation).


It depends. If she told them he was great in bed, the opposite might have happened.


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

breeze said:


> He made a good choice. If he had sex with the young woman, the news would've travelled around eventually within that group of women and the woman he is really interested in might end up thinking she made a lucky escape (not every woman would think this, but some would in that situation).


The thought didn't really cross my mind but you make a great point. One of the reasons why my friend is so quick to set me up is that I have an impeccable reputation. Before Uber took off a few years ago, I was one of a handful of staff or regulars that was always trusted to make sure a drunk chick got home safely. Anytime we saw a middle aged creeper trying to prey on some stumbling drunk 22 year old after last call, a few responsible guys would always c0ck block him and make sure the girl got home safely. I was one of them. Thankfully Uber has solved that problem.


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

breeze said:


> It's really something you need to be there to see I think. Spending time with someone doesn't mean anything, but being there and seeing body language, having a conversation, tone of voice, is what he would be basing his conclusions on.


Exactly. I'm good at innuendo that you'd have to be totally clueless to not pickup on. She expressed her frustration with OLD, and I agreed stating "Yes. I much prefer meeting people organically like at a bar." She smiled and said "I totally agree".


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

Banned-It.45 said:


> Has she texted you since?


We didn't exchange numbers. We friended on Facebook which I prefer. I messaged her about an hour ago but she's at work so hasn't been online or read it yet. I'll know by tonight.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

> I guess I kissed a gift horse in the mouth...



The saying goes, "Don't *look* a gift horse in the mouth".

They could tell how old it was and if it was healthy by their teeth and gums.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

TomorrowNeverKnows said:


> C'mon, I wasn't offended but 22 is just too young for my tastes now. She was cute but maybe if she had been smoking hot I would have played it differently. I have daughters so I guess I don't like the idea of middle aged men preying on girls right out of college. 25 seems much older to me... Anyway, I was surprised my friend was so eager to have me shag her 22 year old coworker. I guess I kissed a gift horse in the mouth...


Cmon, man. Can you imagine the conversations you would have? About music, movies, so much in common, right? Sheesh...way too much thought into it, man

In my single days, none of that would have mattered. It would have been on.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

farsidejunky said:


> Cmon, man. * Can you imagine the conversations you would have?* About music, movies, so much in common, right? Sheesh...way too much thought into it, man
> 
> In my single days, none of that would have mattered. It would have been on.


I don't have to imagine. I've started conversations with young women during lunch at work. Within a few minutes I can tell women that young are not my type. Sure, they are pretty and alluring, but their interests are foreign to me. It's the best turn off in the world, if you need a woman who is somewhat compatible before you will have sex with them. 

TNK,

Just go with your gut. If she isn't right for you, don't push it. You can become a man the women you would be interested in would pass by. You could even ask if she knows anyone a bit closer to your age. Treat her well and she may just know women you will find to be more closely matched with you, sexy, and attracted to you for more than just a shag. It feels so good when there is more than just sex involved. The great feelings from sex will last longer, too. 

I posted this because I think this is why you are having issues.


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

I've had ONS's in the past but I guess they are just not my thing. Unless I'm really attracted to a girl more than just physically, it's really easy for me to find reasons not to sleep with her. The next morning I texted my buddy who went home instead of joining us (aliases inserted):

ME: "Caroline totally tried to set me up with her coworker Chloe last night."
HIM: "Lol. Chloe is hot."
ME: "Eh. Too young for my tastes. I really had my eyes on Julia."
HIM: "Julia is awesome."
ME: "She's a cutey. Totally my type."
HIM: "Go for both."

So his response was pretty much the same of most guys here but I'm not wired that way.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Most guys here are married. lol They are giving that kind of advice?


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## TomorrowNeverKnows (Jan 27, 2012)

*Deidre* said:


> Most guys here are married. lol They are giving that kind of advice?


LOL. Living vicariously I guess...


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

TomorrowNeverKnows said:


> LOL. Living vicariously I guess...


Oooohhhh, I see. 0


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