# Ladies what makes you horny? anything visual? sounds? touching? words, which ones?,



## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

I am asking this question because my lady doesn't really respond or get very interested to watch our own soft-porn movies that we make. Although I think we look very hot, seeing ourselves doesn't seem to make her horny?....I asked her what makes you warm inside and she looked at me and tells me feeling safe, happy, that she can count on me....which I make sure she gets...but I would like to understand what else can I do to rock her world....thanks:scratchhead:


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> I am asking this question because my lady doesn't really respond or get very interested to watch our own soft-porn movies that we make. Although I think we look very hot, seeing ourselves doesn't seem to make her horny?....I asked her what makes you warm inside and she looked at me and tells me feeling safe, happy, that she can count on me....which I make sure she gets...but I would like to understand what else can I do to rock her world....thanks:scratchhead:


Do you know what her fantasies are?
You might want to focus on them.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Do you know what her fantasies are?
> You might want to focus on them.


I asked her and she told me that have none!....like I said before, she comes from a very conservative family, never masturbated, and when we make love or have sex, I can see her getting into it and becoming very horny, but I would love to find something I could do before hand, and knowing that she is getting wet because of what I did.....any ideas?:scratchhead:


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I don't think I ever knew what made my x in the mood; she just seemed to be or not to be. She couldn't explain it either. If she was not in the mood, she was not interested in any foreplay whatsoever in an attempt to get in the mood. She didn't have any fantasies either. She had a very low sex drive.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> I asked her and she told me that have none!....like I said before, she comes from a very conservative family, never masturbated, and when we make love or have sex, I can see her getting into it and becoming very horny, but I would love to find something I could do before hand, and knowing that she is getting wet because of what I did.....any ideas?:scratchhead:


Maybe you want to watch various types of porn together with your wife and see what makes her feel most interested?

What I guess is your wife's still exporing her true sexual desires, she's not yet done her discovery about sex. 

If she's not very into visual stuffs, you might want to try talking dirty.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Maybe you want to watch various types of porn together with your wife and see what makes her feel most interested?
> 
> What I guess is your wife's still exporing her true sexual desires, she's not yet done her discovery about sex.
> 
> If she's not very into visual stuffs, you might want to try talking dirty.


She has come along way....I mean, now I get excited since she let me do basically everything I want but need to realize when is appropriate or have time for it. However, I get a bit frustrated not knowing how estimulate her brain before getting to the act. Talking dirty..mmmm I'll give it a shot and see how she respond....what else?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> She has come along way....I mean, now I get excited since she let me do basically everything I want but need to realize when is appropriate or have time for it. However, I get a bit frustrated not knowing how estimulate her brain before getting to the act. Talking dirty..mmmm I'll give it a shot and see how she respond....what else?


Date her as if she's your new gf! 

I told my husband to date me, and the result is very satisfying.

Women love to feel romantic stuffs. 

You might want to tie her up & blindfold her, so she has no idea what you're going to do next. You can firstly give her an erotic oil massage, then, slowly, you can focus on teasing her nipples, making them aroused, toying her, licking her,... make sure all the process must be gentle & comfortable. 

it's quite fun to be blindfolded once in a while.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

I see your points, and I am sure with time we'll get there. I have to be careful though to take time in suggesting a lot of new things...I don't want her to feel like I am never satisfied because I love her so much and want for her to be happy. I'll try talking kind of dirty but knowing her she'll find it not very romantic......I would love to find something beside the act itself, that I know I can do to bring a lot of sex thoughts to her mind...so far, I am clueless...


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

@ southbound
Women with low sex drive have a dryer vagina. It takes not only more foreplay, also some romantic stuffs as well to make her feel loved & surprised on that day.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> I see your points, and I am sure with time we'll get there. I have to be careful though to take time in suggesting a lot of new things...I don't want her to feel like I am never satisfied because I love her so much and want for her to be happy. I'll try talking kind of dirty but knowing her she'll find it not very romantic......I would love to find something beside the act itself, that I know I can do to bring a lot of sex thoughts to her mind...so far, I am clueless...


Don't worry too much! You're clueless because she's clueless as well.

The more you do & ask, the more she learns & knows what she likes.

You have to keep trying out new things with her. Eventually, she will discover something she really likes & enjoys. 

If she likes to feel warm & loved to feel turned on, it means her sexual interests are somehow connected to her emotional needs.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Communication is very important as you said to me.

Make her understand that you want to try out new things with her not because you never feel satisfied.

It's the opposite, you're so satisfied with her in bed and you want to enjoy sex to the fullest & reach the maximum satisfaction with her because she's very sexy & you love her never enough.

Trying new things out is for her to discover what she likes the most. She wouldn't know how she feels if she never experiences it.

You can assure her not to worry, "If both like 1 thing, we can keep playing it, if not, we try 1 time is enough!"


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## joelmacdad (Jul 26, 2010)

My wife has said the exact same thing about feeling safe, being taken care of, having adult conversations, following through with things I say, etc.

Let me explain...
1) feeling safe- ensuring doors on the house are locked when we leave and the garage door shuts. Investigating strange sounds at night. I have to admit I've mistaken left a door or two unlocked in years past after taking the dogs out or whatever and that is a big turn off. My wife told me recently when she feels safe she can get horny faster

2) Being taken care of: filling her SUV with gas, making coffee in the morning, starting her SUV on a cold morning when she goes to preshcool, solving car problems, fixing the leaking sink or broken oven, making sure her computer works well and had no viruses, etc. Yes, that has really worked. The more I do stuff like that, really the more sex I get and the more quality sex I get

3) following through: remembering family birthdays, coming home when I say I am from work or church etc, helping with cooking or cleaning when I say I will, helping with homework when I say I will

4) adult time: going on dates, showing interest in her activities or thoughts about certain subjects w/o her talking about them first. answering her questions about my life and activities w/o getting impatient or angry

I've asked my wife about fantasies and she also says she really has none other than saying "Yeah, Brad Pitt". I honestly believe her that she has no real fantasies. Her fantasies are numbers 1 through 4 above. I know those things get her "wet" and ready and going. I have the proof.




marcopoly69 said:


> I am asking this question because my lady doesn't really respond or get very interested to watch our own soft-porn movies that we make. Although I think we look very hot, seeing ourselves doesn't seem to make her horny?....I asked her what makes you warm inside and she looked at me and tells me feeling safe, happy, that she can count on me....which I make sure she gets...but I would like to understand what else can I do to rock her world....thanks:scratchhead:


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

joelmacdad said:


> My wife has said the exact same thing about feeling safe, being taken care of, having adult conversations, following through with things I say, etc.
> 
> Let me explain...
> 1) feeling safe- ensuring doors on the house are locked when we leave and the garage door shuts. Investigating strange sounds at night. I have to admit I've mistaken left a door or two unlocked in years past after taking the dogs out or whatever and that is a big turn off. My wife told me recently when she feels safe she can get horny faster
> ...


Excellently well put! :rofl:


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

joelmacdad said:


> I've asked my wife about fantasies and she also says she really has none other than saying "Yeah, Brad Pitt".


Sorry but this is so funny!:rofl:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

All that is good. I think I do most of those things...what bothers me is that she is used to them. I have been like this all our lives together. I help with the house - i cook, prepare lunches, breakfasts, homework with the kids, taking our son to practice, telling her daily how beautiful I find her and how she rocks my world, and she looked at me with love, but doesn't say much...I guess, I am missing our time to talk as adults about our relationship....We haven't had the time to talk about it....I'll try to find the time so we can actually communicate...because me doing all the talk is not communication


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Threetimesalady said:


> I am going to drop this happening for what it is worth...Each night I tuck my husband in bed...He is an early bird and I am a night owl...It is not unusual to see me up at 1 A.M. and my tucking him in bed at 9....Just the way it is....About 10 days ago he started adding this to our cuddling before we said our prayer in each others arms...That being he opens my shirt and pulls out my breast....Then he sucks on my nipple....Wild and wonderful....Just a hint of the lust that we have always had...At first I kind of resisted as it was a pain in the neck moving my bra aside, but not anymore...This little tidbit in our marriage has lead to full sexual intercourse twice and I have found that has given him on hot erection at this time of night...Needless to say I honor this erection...A couple of times I have praised this hot stud of mine and given him some hot oral sex....
> 
> These are a few of the things to keep a relationship hot....What has started out as a one shot deal is now happening each night....And I just love it.....
> 
> I am going to add one thing as I am going to add this to my 52 year post on this site...When a man of any age finds that he is a hot stud and his woman praises him it does more wonders than 2 Viagras....All this is how I took him off Viagra over six years ago....


See your thread.


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## joelmacdad (Jul 26, 2010)

I think I've posted this before about my wife and fantasies and got the same response! Haha!



MsLonely said:


> Sorry but this is so funny!:rofl:


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Joelmacdad, I'm the opposite of your wife.
I must be sexually satisfied then I'm happy to do the house work and willing to wash his smelly socks. 
My husband needs to give me his cok often. So I will have energy to clean the house often.
For me sex is like to recharge my batteries.
Sex & passion give me energy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Joelmacdad, I'm the opposite of your wife.
> I must be sexually satisfied then I'm happy to do the house work and willing to wash his smelly socks.
> My husband needs to give me his cok often. So I will have energy to clean the house often.
> For me sex is like to recharge my batteries.
> ...


You should have been my wife...I just can imagine us having so much fun!....can you imagine how much pleasure one could have when two high sex drive people get together?....only thinking about it makes you horny...:smthumbup:


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## joelmacdad (Jul 26, 2010)

I have this feeling from time to time that my wife will get there someday when the kids are gone. I hope I can keep up!

Our drives are different as I do want more now, but we are by no means sexless or far apart.




MsLonely said:


> Joelmacdad, I'm the opposite of your wife.
> I must be sexually satisfied then I'm happy to do the house work and willing to wash his smelly socks.
> My husband needs to give me his cok often. So I will have energy to clean the house often.
> For me sex is like to recharge my batteries.
> ...


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## 40jane (Dec 8, 2010)

I think when a woman knows she is desired, pursued, valued for her input in the relationship, secure, her feelings are not questioned, is understood, told she is beautiful, can tell her fantasies and has a man that wants to please her...this is what turns a woman on. It starts emotionally and ends physically. What happens outside of the bedroom stays in the bedroom! (good or bad) LOL


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

40jane said:


> I think when a woman knows she is desired, pursued, valued for her input in the relationship, secure, her feelings are not questioned, is understood, told she is beautiful, can tell her fantasies and has a man that wants to please her...this is what turns a woman on. It starts emotionally and ends physically. What happens outside of the bedroom stays in the bedroom! (good or bad) LOL


Well, what about if you think are the kind of man who provide a woman all you suggest, and things in the bedroom are more less fine....I mean I know I have to be content with the fact that the high sex drive person will be the one brining new things on the table and initiating sex most of the time , etc....I just can't help feeling like there must be something out there that you can do, to get your wife thinking about sex....it always seem so far away from her mind....mmmm I need to talk to her without children around...


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

sounds like you are doing all the discovery here, and she gets to set back and see what happens. i know how you feel. it would be helpful if your wife (and in my case my wife) would take more interest and initiative to improve intimacy

but some of the advice from the ladies is good stuff


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Marco, I know how you feel. 
You've always been the one taking initiatives without feeling appreciated and your wife doesn't take initiatives in taking care of the sexual life.
It's the frustration making you feel you're not totally cared & cherished and treasured.
I've been following your threads and you have made a difference already. Your wife was a closed book because of her conservative background, but now she's half way opened by you.
I know how much you want to feel desired and wanted by her as if she's falling in love madly.
Keep communicating with her telling her to show you the love you need until she opens up her world to you. 
Maybe you want to date her as if you just met.
Help her finding back some butterflies in her stomach.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

For me - anything - naked women, naked men, trannies, guys with one-leg (as long as its the important one), you name it.

At this age, a soft wind would turn me on!


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

Lots of stuff makes me horny...dirty talk, being touched anywhere by him, touching him most anywhere, seeing clothes come off, being undressed. 

My #1 go to get horny and wet in under 2 mins is start giving him a BJ. It's a major turn on for me.


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> For me - anything - naked women, naked men, trannies, guys with one-leg (as long as its the important one), you name it.
> 
> *At this age, a soft wind would turn me on!*


Hopefully some day for me.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I can be turned on pretty fast, if my husband gives me a drooling look, with his eyes telling me he wants me badly, I will jump on him & rip off his clothes right away...and eat him all over his body... Yet, he doesn't like aggressive woman who takes the lead... What a pity...


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## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

Why is it that we men have to bring our wives coffee in bed, fill their SUV with gas (where I come from we call it petrol!!), put the washing on, fix the leaking tap, buy them flowers, wine and dine them...all because we want our wives to say 'Yes' to us turning them on, making love to them and making them have an O...and us also having an orgasm!

Reverse it.... wife brings us coffee, runs a bath for us, washes our back, takes the car to be serviced, mows the lawn...in the hope that we will let her screw our brains out!!! 
Come on guys...wouldn't you just love to have all that done for you then when she comes on to you you say 'honey, I have a splitting headache..mwah...goodnight'... Except in reality we have to take every opportunity we can!

And to those of you who have a fully rewarding marriage, in EVERY sense...you lucky ba$tard$!!!


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

jezza said:


> Why is it that we men have to bring our wives coffee in bed, fill their SUV with gas (where I come from we call it petrol!!), put the washing on, fix the leaking tap, buy them flowers, wine and dine them...all because we want our wives to say 'Yes' to us turning them on, making love to them and making them have an O...and us also having an orgasm!
> 
> Reverse it.... wife brings us coffee, runs a bath for us, washes our back, takes the car to be serviced, mows the lawn...in the hope that we will let her screw our brains out!!!
> Come on guys...wouldn't you just love to have all that done for you then when she comes on to you you say 'honey, I have a splitting headache..mwah...goodnight'... Except in reality we have to take every opportunity we can!
> ...


Haha, this made me laugh reading this!!, you have a point!!

I've never really understood all this doing more chores ect to increase your chances of getting sex (and I'm a woman!!) either she wants to have sex or she doesn't, no amount of washing up, cleaning ect should have anything to do with it.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

jezza said:


> Why is it that we men have to bring our wives coffee in bed, fill their SUV with gas (where I come from we call it petrol!!), put the washing on, fix the leaking tap, buy them flowers, wine and dine them...all because we want our wives to say 'Yes' to us turning them on, making love to them and making them have an O...and us also having an orgasm!
> 
> Reverse it.... wife brings us coffee, runs a bath for us, washes our back, takes the car to be serviced, mows the lawn...in the hope that we will let her screw our brains out!!!
> Come on guys...wouldn't you just love to have all that done for you then when she comes on to you you say 'honey, I have a splitting headache..mwah...goodnight'... Except in reality we have to take every opportunity we can!
> ...


You should go here http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/20910-men-do-you-understand-your-wife-sexually.html and discuss  Would be very interesting to see both your viewpoints.

Now, I have to say, mine doesn't require that stuff, but I still like to do them. She always tells me that all she needs is for me to be there. Do keep in mind though that she has always been a very sexual girl 

So I'd say, do those things because you want to, not because you want sex. Just like I do not like to get "let's get it over with" sex, she probably would not like those things if they were all for the sole purpose of sex.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> I am asking this question because my lady doesn't really respond or get very interested to watch our own soft-porn movies that we make. Although I think we look very hot, seeing ourselves doesn't seem to make her horny?....I asked her what makes you warm inside and she looked at me and tells me feeling safe, happy, that she can count on me....which I make sure she gets...but I would like to understand what else can I do to rock her world....thanks:scratchhead:


I do NOT want to see us in the act. I don't care who you are, your O face is not pretty. And I don't want to see my O face. 

Things that make me horny... hmmmm... On the light side, going out in the evening. Going dancing and flirting with my DH. Dancing close. Playing do you think that one or that one is good looking while out? ... Suggestive text messages during the day. Suggestive, not crude.

Role play. Dress up. Strip teases. Getting him crazy. Not so much WATCHING but being the center of attention.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I do NOT want to see us in the act. I don't care who you are, your O face is not pretty. And I don't want to see my O face.


Wooh, can't agree more. Like my gf's face, she likes mine, but both of us woul not be able to watch our own. I have no problem watching other people's faces. They always intrigue me, the beauty they express. And seems there is a market for it http://beautifulagony.com/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Oh one more thing. Sexy music really does it for me.


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## CaptainMyCaptain (Sep 19, 2010)

I can tell you one thing that definitely makes my wife horny; reading erotica to her. Specifically, I will read Penthouse forums to her. I buy the different books from Books a million. It doesn't take long, and she is rubbing herself, moaning, the clothes start coming off, then she is in full blown masturbation mode. All of this occurs while we are sitting in the vehicle, usually within sight of others. 

I will also make her take turns and read to me. It gets her hot reading the stories, but builds anticipation since she can't really take care of herself while she is reading.


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## Anangel (Jan 21, 2011)

For me, when my husband kisses me on the neck and on my ears god i go crazy. I would want him to take some time slowly slowly...I some time end up finishing before him when he plays with me like this.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Star said:


> I've never really understood all this doing more chores ect to increase your chances of getting sex (and I'm a woman!!) either she wants to have sex or she doesn't, no amount of washing up, cleaning ect should have anything to do with it.


this has been my stance all along. i know my wife, when she wants something bad enough she would climb mount everest in a bikini to get it. sex is at her beck and call, but its just not something she wants as frequently as i do.


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## DudleyD (Jan 25, 2011)

40jane said:


> I think when a woman knows she is desired, pursued, valued for her input in the relationship, secure, her feelings are not questioned, is understood, told she is beautiful, can tell her fantasies and has a man that wants to please her...this is what turns a woman on. It starts emotionally and ends physically. What happens outside of the bedroom stays in the bedroom! (good or bad) LOL


This was probably the most useful post in this thread... that sounds about right.


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

MsLonely said:


> I can be turned on pretty fast, if my husband gives me a drooling look, with his eyes telling me he wants me badly, I will jump on him & rip off his clothes right away...and eat him all over his body... Yet, he doesn't like aggressive woman who takes the lead... What a pity...


That is all I want from my hubby is to get him to look at me like that. I can't remember the last time...


As for the OP- keep exploring with her. Make it fun though so it's not pressuring. Not like, "OK honey, tonights anal porn at 7, tomorrow is some bondage at 9. That work for you?" If she doesn't know what she wants, you won't either. You said you feel like it's been this way always. How long have you been trying to help her figure it out? Has she ever had an orgasm? 

I have a friend that I've known since we were freshman in college (7 years ago) and she was just married this past year. Not once in 7 years has this girl been horny!! I made it my goal to get her at least interested in sex (simply because I'm polar opposite from that and couldn't bear the thought that my best friend hadn't ever enjoyed it!). I watched porn with her- some with sex some with just girls masturbating so she'd have an idea of what to do, should certain feelings arise. Hell, we had kissed so many times while out drinking, one day completely sober I kissed her til she couldn't breathe just to get a response lol. NOTHING. The girl just isn't interested. 

She said she gives her H BJ's all the time because she'd rather do that than have sex.... I pray your wife isn't like that, because I have no real advise having personally tried with my own best friend LOL. She is the proof I didn't believe was out there that some women just aren't interested... :scratchhead:


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

jezza said:


> Why is it that we men have to bring our wives coffee in bed, fill their SUV with gas (where I come from we call it petrol!!), put the washing on, fix the leaking tap, buy them flowers, wine and dine them...all because we want our wives to say 'Yes' to us turning them on, making love to them and making them have an O...and us also having an orgasm!
> 
> Reverse it.... wife brings us coffee, runs a bath for us, washes our back, takes the car to be serviced, mows the lawn...in the hope that we will let her screw our brains out!!!
> Come on guys...wouldn't you just love to have all that done for you then when she comes on to you you say 'honey, I have a splitting headache..mwah...goodnight'... Except in reality we have to take every opportunity we can!
> ...


:rofl: I would so do anything to get him to react that way!!! I just LOLed so hard!!! Oh boy lol....


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