# Low libido



## So happy (Feb 16, 2021)

Hi my partner (male) suffered low libido , he's not depressed and I know he's not a cheat , but he struggle with desire and that makes him worse , is there any help medically or self help


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

It generally helps if you approach this topic as if there is nothing wrong and do what it takes to make him feel loved and accepted. By contrast arguing that he has a problem that needs to be fixed will only serve to make him feel inadequate and create performance anxiety that he must be able to want you sexually on demand. 

The next step is to make yourself easy to please sexually, even if that means taking responsibility for your own pleasure (as in self stimulation) and sharing that with him. Talk about expectations of what you would like to happen if he is unable to get aroused so that he does not feel forced to make himself aroused for your entertainment. Have a plan for soothing non-sexual intimacy with a focus on maintaining a strong emotional connection in the event things get frustrating. 

If your partner has not been to the doctor in a long time, it is always important to encourage him to take care of his wellbeing. Be careful about placing any emphasis on his libido, but he should feel confident enough to talk to his doctor about that topic if he desires. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

The other thing is, he should be the one trying to fix this not you. 
I get that you want to help him. But I think you should be invited to the help from him, or else he will probably be annoyed.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Have you talked with him about this yet?


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## So happy (Feb 16, 2021)

We are very close and have talked about this , he says the desire isn't there to want to have sex ,he says it's not about us he's very content ,he just doesn't seem to have nay urges


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Has he had a recent check-up with his doctor and had his T levels checked?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Should start with the doctor. Has he always been like this or did he change over time?


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## So happy (Feb 16, 2021)

He's actually going for blood tests today , he's so beside himself that he's feeling bad for I think he's scared of losing me , which I've reassured him loads that's it's so not an issue


ccpowerslave said:


> Should start with the doctor. Has he always been like this or did he change over time?


Not always been like this , he was previously married although we've known each other 30 years , his marriage was sexless, and he said because he wasn't getting any he always wanted sex. Now it's pretty much you can have it when you like he seems not to want it


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Well I’m glad to hear he is trying to see if there is an issue. Fingers crossed it’s something physical that can be treated by the doctor.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

So happy said:


> Not always been like this , he was previously married although we've known each other 30 years , his marriage was sexless, and he said because he wasn't getting any he always wanted sex. Now it's pretty much you can have it when you like he seems not to want it


From everything I have read, that is actually a common phenomenon. A person's libido is very dynamic. If something was out of balance before, a change may only serve to shift things out of balance again. Before he wasn't having sex and now he's not having sex (which is the constant). 

So this rules out his "libido" as being the true source of the problem if you see what I am getting at. There is likely an underlying issue with his personal development that needs to be confronted and addressed. Otherwise he will continue living a lifestyle that maintains physical distance. 

I could be wrong, but this is probably a healthy way to think through things. 

Badsanta


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## So happy (Feb 16, 2021)

Ah that's a very good point ty


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

I had low T and start T injections at 37. I could have entire Playmate Calendar girls nude in my living room and would tell them to move as they were blocking the TV.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Divinely Favored said:


> I had low T and start T injections at 37. I could have entire Playmate Calendar girls nude in my living room and would tell them to move as they were blocking the TV.


Not clear if you're moving forward (about to start) with T injections, or you began them a while back. If the latter, how did it work out?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Casual Observer said:


> Not clear if you're moving forward (about to start) with T injections, or you began them a while back. If the latter, how did it work out?


Great. Have been on them 12 yrs. Ready to go. Cant keep my hands off my wife and as for the other...cat can't scratch it and diamond won't cut it! A hickory is jealous.


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