# Accept The Divorce



## Marty1138 (Dec 13, 2011)

My wife and I are separated about 5 weeks and she is living with her parents and seeing someone else. She chose to end the marriage and will be filing for a divorce.

I was wondering from reading different posts, stuff online, how to save your marriage, magic of making up etc that given the fact I am looking to save my marriage if possible and have tried all the usual things that once you do a 180 and start accepting everything they tell you as being right and is for the best. Things begin to switch around. 

I say this because while nothing major yet has happened I feel more confident in myself and once you are on their side you are giving them no ammo to use against you so long term could help switch things around rather than push against them. 

Have any of you tired this method, agree with the divorce even if you disagree let them know you agree to it and have them do a change of heart?


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

I think it depends on the circumstances if its a bad break up violence, abuse, cheating etc... then its different do u want to make your marriage work???


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## Marty1138 (Dec 13, 2011)

Yes, but if you can't get through to the other person than I read its better to simply agree with it rather than fight causing more upset.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Marty1138 said:


> My wife and I are separated about 5 weeks and she is living with her parents and seeing someone else. She chose to end the marriage and will be filing for a divorce.


If in only 5 weeks she is seeing someone else, then she left you because of him. She was either cheating with him before she moved out, or she had developed a relationship with him that she moved out to develop further. Either way she is having sex with him now even though you are still married. She has not even filed. You have a cheater on your hands. Treat her accordingly.


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

Where did you read that you should give up on something that you love??? If you love her and want to make things right dont give up fight for your love, youve been seperated 5 weeks the person shes with is most likely to be a rebound someone there to take her mind off you. I wouln't say u agree to everthing she says to get back with her if she says u need to do x then dont jump in and say yes compromise explain what changes u will make. NEVER GIVE UP ON LOVE!!!!!


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## Marty1138 (Dec 13, 2011)

Okay so not quite giving up but to act more like I am ok with the divorce otherwise she has me on a shoe string knowing I will just be there for her anytime, especially if even shes on some rebound relationship. Yes I love her but begging and acting like I can't live without her will only show her I'm weak. 

She knows the door is open to come back but think I have not act like a door mat to her and tell her ok you want a divorce and this other life go for it.


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

I wouldnt say be a doormat and beg her I would say you talk to her and ask her is this other really who she wants to be with will he make her happy remind her of your good times together so she knows that you havent forgotten her. Would you take her back knowing that she was with someone else?? You say she knows the doors open for her to come back did u tell it is or are u assuming that she knows??


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## Marty1138 (Dec 13, 2011)

No sorry she knows the door is open have told her but right now there isn't a way in hell I could talk to her she is so bitter towards me and doesn't want to make the marriage work hence going to the okay attitude lets do this... I care and love her but when you can't communicate or try they are so, look I want a divorce, I'm done etc better to put up a brave face and act like you agree/like the marriage to work but if your not willing to even try then ok

I got an ebook the magic of making up and they say to give them space to allow them to come to terms with living without you etc but also to accept the divorce by telling them so if they don't want to make it work so your on their side while being friendly, outgoing and moving forward with our own life, basically not to look like you can't live without them.


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

If she knows then i guess your doing the right thing. Im sure she will return in the mean time do as the book says move forward with your life I wouldnt say get with another woman but do things that will help take your mind off her. I think she is only doing this because of the new guy, atm she is getting attention from elsewhere but how long wil she get it for shes technically cheating on you with this guy, when the other guy realises that she is capable of being married and having other relationships he wont want anything to do with her thats when shes going to wake up and smell the coffee that theres no place like home. Good luck hope it works out for you


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## Marty1138 (Dec 13, 2011)

Thanks SK for your input I appreciate it.

Yes, while I'm hurting obviously deep down with all this I have always been a person that can cope with what life throws at me too so while not wanting to lose her strongly believe she will regret her decision down the road. 

I can only do so much without acting like a wimp so from here on out its the 180 for me and limited contact, if she contacts me fine we can briefly chat and move forward if I still decide at that point I want her back. 

Thanks again bud.


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