# If you cheat, you'll risk destroying them.



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Really. You will.

They'll be hurting so badly that they might wish that they could either die or just magically cease to exist.

They'll probably seek to take all the blame on themselves and will become depressed as a result.

So, please do not cheat.

Seek counselling, but do not cheat.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Them who?

I assume you are referring to children?

What about couples with no children?

Have you heard the phrase "they're not really married until they have children?"

I dont' care for that rationalization myself.

I can't imagine you could condone cheating just because children aren't involved.


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

_What about couples with no children?_

My oldest brother had an affair on my sil about two or so years ago. He doesn't know that I know about it.

How ever after I found out what he did I never saw him in the same light as I once did. When I get pi$$ed with him all I can think is _(duse you're a freaking cheater how can u judge anything I do?)


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

Another low day, Matt?


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

In my experience I suffered more than my mom because I am still dealing with issues my dad caused by cheating. She has been able to move past a lot with the help of her now husband. I can't really get a new dad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

lovelyblue said:


> _What about couples with no children?_
> 
> My oldest brother had an affair on my sil about two or so years ago. He doesn't know that I know about it.
> 
> How ever after I found out what he did I never saw him in the same light as I once did. When I get pi$$ed with him all I can think is _(duse you're a freaking cheater how can u judge anything I do?)


Does he expect you to be cool with his choices and treat him as an honerable person?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

One of these days, mattmatt, you are going to have to deal with what your cnut of a wife did to you. I don't GIVE a shtt that she has aspergers. I've heard you say it a million times before. And you know what, she is not the only person in the world to have it. My nephew has it. And he doesn't treat people like crap, oblivious to their feelings and existence. You are in denial, your wife is just inconsiderate, and incapable of even giving a crap about your feelings IMO.

I know you love her, but I really hope one day someone hurts her as much as she has hurt you. Is that childish, I dunno, but I see alot of pain in your posts, and I wish I could rub her face in it make her taste it.

BTW, stop making excuses for her. She really did treat you like crap. And I hope you find some pool of strength to draw uppon one day to heal yourself. Because she is a btch, aspergers or not, she is just a relentless btch to you IMO, but that's just my 2 cents, feel free to tear me to shreds to defend this creature that has fcuked you so profoundly


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Matt. I think that the pain you carry is a heavy load. 
When you say
" she told me she was going to have an affair and then went and did it" 
It tears my heart out because that is exactly what my ExW did. She told me like it would made it better, although by telling me she would exonerate herself. 
I think that it is time now, time for you. It is not being selfish to allow yourself this. You are entitled to some happiness or at the very least peace.


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## carpenoctem (Jul 4, 2012)

Matt. I feel the same way about your situation, as him (above post – by Cromagnon).

Everytime I read your posts, I feel sheer anguish for you.

*I believe she has damaged you so deeply that if you win a Nobel Prize tomorrow, you still will not regain the self-esteem that you lost.*

She has bled you out emotionally, and left you out to dry. You are, emotionally _nosferatu_ in my view, howsoever you rationalize it all to yourself.

*She 's a high-functioning Asperger's (as you so often say), and you are a high-functioning nosferatu.*

You deserved a much better inner life as a man, my brother.

You did. You do.




I know this empathy will probably irritate you, but I must say that I feel really, really, really, REALLY bad for you.

Apologies for being so maudlin.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Allen_A said:


> Them who?
> 
> I assume you are referring to children?
> 
> ...


You did not read my post, did you?
*
I was alluding to the fact that many betrayed spouses blame themselves for the fact that their spouse went wayward.*


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Pepper123 said:


> Another low day, Matt?


Nope, I got triggered by a post here. The post by Fantasy.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> You did not read my post, did you?
> *
> I was alluding to the fact that many betrayed spouses blame themselves for the fact that their spouse went wayward.*


Including you, Matt? On what basis? What did you ever do?

I am almost always in your corner, buddy, but I gotta say I think Cro-Magnon has a point. You don't always hold your W as accountable as she seems to deserve (to judge by your account of her A).


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The Cro-Magnon said:


> One of these days, mattmatt, you are going to have to deal with what your cnut of a wife did to you. I don't GIVE a shtt that she has aspergers. I've heard you say it a million times before. And you know what, she is not the only person in the world to have it. My nephew has it. And he doesn't treat people like crap, oblivious to their feelings and existence. You are in denial, your wife is just inconsiderate, and incapable of even giving a crap about your feelings IMO.
> 
> I know you love her, but I really hope one day someone hurts her as much as she has hurt you. Is that childish, I dunno, but I see alot of pain in your posts, and I wish I could rub her face in it make her taste it.
> 
> BTW, stop making excuses for her. She really did treat you like crap. And I hope you find some pool of strength to draw uppon one day to heal yourself. Because she is a btch, aspergers or not, she is just a relentless btch to you IMO, but that's just my 2 cents, feel free to tear me to shreds to defend this creature that has fcuked you so profoundly


Sorry you were banned. Because I know you meant well.

The problem is that my wife has already been hurt in her life way more than she hurt me.

Being severely beaten for embarrassing the family as a child. She has hayfever and she sneezed in public.

And that's one of the really very minor problems she faced as a child.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Philat said:


> Including you, Matt? On what basis? What did you ever do?
> 
> I am almost always in your corner, buddy, but I gotta say I think Cro-Magnon has a point. You don't always hold your W as accountable as she seems to deserve (to judge by your account of her A).


I thought for a while: "If I'd been more of a man, she'd not have had to cheat on me." All codswallop, I realised, later.

I have reasons for how I handled things the way I handled them. Valid reasons, as it happens.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

[B]carpenoctem[/B] said:


> Matt. I feel the same way about your situation, as him (above post – by Cromagnon).
> 
> Everytime I read your posts, I feel sheer anguish for you.
> 
> ...


I do appreciate your post.Thank you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ing said:


> Matt. I think that the pain you carry is a heavy load.
> When you say
> " she told me she was going to have an affair and then went and did it"
> It tears my heart out because that is exactly what my ExW did. She told me like it would made it better, although by telling me she would exonerate herself.
> I think that it is time now, time for you. It is not being selfish to allow yourself this. You are entitled to some happiness or at the very least peace.


The stuff we put each other through was a few years back.

We are good, generally speaking.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> I thought for a while: "If I'd been more of a man, she'd not have had to cheat on me." All codswallop, I realised, later.
> 
> *I have reasons for how I handled things the way I handled them. Valid reasons, as it happens.*


Fair enough, my friend..


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