# and he wonders why i still get angry



## justkate (May 31, 2011)

the stbxh came by to drop off the other half of the cs for this month and the two older boys noticed that he was wearing a new ring on his left pinky ring. obviously a gift from the g/f for his birthday last month. 

it killed me seeing that but none of us made mention and he was kind of flashing his hand and waiting for comment. well he got none. the reason it bothered me so much is that for so many years i wanted to buy him a birthstone ring but he always said no, he wouldn't want it broken. 

gee how quickly that changed when the child gives him something. 

i wish i could divorce him tomorrow, i dread the next year and his ****.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

He probably went and sulked after the no reaction from yourselves. Let it pass, and concentrate on you and the kids.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

He's rubbing it in your face alright. Do not give him the satisfaction of showing that you're upset. Do the 180 and act disinterested. Detach from him. And one day you won't give a frack what he does.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The best reaction was no reaction which is what you did.
He's a ghost now. Don't worry about him and his pinky ring and his new interest.
All business from now on.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

So? Anyway....pinky ring? Ick.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> So? Anyway....pinky ring? Ick.


Yeah, I know. He only wore it to hurt her.


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## DoveInTheMud (May 25, 2011)

justkate,

I can imagine that what hurt was not the ring, the flashing of it, or the pinky (I agree - ick), but that it was another symbol of a shattered dream, of a kindness you had wanted to show him and that was rejected.

You did right by not showing any reaction to it. As you may have to do for many instances, while doing the 180 (whether it ends up in Divorce or Reconciliation), is to place those dreams, shattered hopes, etc... to rest. 

Give yourself time and space to grieve for them. Allow yourself to go through the full process, and you will find healing in time.


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## ahhhmaaaan! (Mar 26, 2011)

This is the guy with the 19 year-old GF, right? This is sooooo freak'in funny. Listen Kate, I can honestly guarantee you that this won't last too long, and if it does she is eventually going to leave him for someone her own age- BELIEVE ME. Its only a rush right now for the both of them, but once she realizes what she's missing as well as the significant age difference, she's gonna drop him like a bad habit for sure. I've seen this before. He is going to hit rock bottom when this happens, so you better not take him back because this is where you come in and say- " How'd that feel." Please, let me know when this actually happens.


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## justkate (May 31, 2011)

yup he's the one with the child g/f but she's 20 now!! woooo! 
i can honestly say that the person he is now is not anyone i know nor would i want to know in my life. 
i think once her parents find out (she is living at home with them again) that things will likely grind to a halt if not her realizing that he can't give her what she will want in life such as children... plus the reality of him paying child support to me will put a serious crimp on their fun and games. 
i do not plan to take him back and i don't think he quite gets that concept, i really think that he figures he will be able to come back at some point and i'll be waiting. 
i did ask him after he'd been to visit wtih the youngest if he really felt that what he'd done had been worth losing his wife, children, home and future for and his response was no it wasn't worth it. so what does that say about his g/f? i could not believe that response and it only reinforced that he is a person i do not need in my life - ever! well we have to be in contact because of the children but otherwise i want no part of him.
my personal mantra has been "the Mac is back!", it's a play on my maiden name and the name i will be reclaiming next year. it reminds i was a strong single woman who took care of herself before i ever knew him and that i can and will do it again.


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## ahhhmaaaan! (Mar 26, 2011)

Kate... once she(GF) realizes that there are younger, better looking guys, and the fact that its awkward bringing him(WH) to party's and things like that; she's gonna drop him. It won't take long before HER friends start questioning the relationship and diss her for being with an older guy THEY have nothing in common with. He's heading for the "big come down" sooner or later. I do agree that he thinks you'll be waiting in the wings: Don't let him make you the consolation prize- YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

I'm 37 this year, and if I'd have split up with my WW I'd never, EVER date a girl in her 20's. They're just way too young. They are still going through the giggily girls stage, the majority of them focusing on their friends approval rather than taking steps of their own. Even those in their late 20's still have a lot to learn.
You're better of without him, he must still think he's an 18 yr old lad who can do as he pleases. Just don't wait in the wings for him, let him crash by himself.
It may actually benefit him in the future.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Don't take this the wrong way guys, but girl to girl, guys are so stupid !!!

I was in a bar in Dubai not long ago, watching a group of male airline pilots making complete fools of themselves over 18 year girls. i'm thinking, you old fools, you dont know girls....


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## ahhhmaaaan! (Mar 26, 2011)

"They're just way too young. They are still going through the giggily girls stage, the majority of them focusing on their friends approval rather than taking steps of their own."- Exactly my point.


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## justkate (May 31, 2011)

Numb-badger;352148 Just don't wait in the wings for him said:


> my only concern (if it can be called that) is how it will effect our boys. i don't want him trying to drag them into his pity party when he does crash.
> 
> i do have the boys in counselling to help them deal with all of this and the therapist is aware that the stbxh is going to crash sooner than later. she has made a point of talking with me about the fact that when he crashes he will likely try to convince me to reconcile. i think by me realizing that fact now it will help be better prepared to not let my emotions get manipulated by him ever again.
> 
> ...


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

justkate said:


> my personal mantra has been "the Mac is back!", it's a play on my maiden name and the name i will be reclaiming next year. it reminds i was a strong single woman who took care of herself before i ever knew him and that i can and will do it again.


With this awesome attitude, you will get there. Your bond with your sons reminds me of one of the proverbs: "Your children will arise and call you blessed."


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## justkate (May 31, 2011)

Halien said:


> With this awesome attitude, you will get there. Your bond with your sons reminds me of one of the proverbs: "Your children will arise and call you blessed."



Thank you! I will add that proverb to my notebook


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