# Caught wife kissing male 'friend'



## StrugglingGuy1 (Dec 15, 2017)

I'm new here and stumbled across this forum whilst searching for advice. 

The crux of it is that I recently caught my wife kissing one of her male friends in the other room.

Now, we have been in a relationship for many years and been married for two of them. We have had a lot of problems over those years, especially in terms of jealusy from her towards me, and it has now come to light that she is no longer attracted to me, but still wants to be married to me and spend the rest of her life with me. However, she still wants to feel romantically involved with others with the statement 'what you don't know can't hurt you', which sounds to me like an 'open relationship'.

Now, I am the jealous type and when I caught them kissing, I was extremely angry and I still am. This is why I don't think an 'open relationship' will work with me. She's been asking me to 'let go of jealousy', which is a far cry from the state we were in a few years ago. However, I don't know if I can.

I don't want the relationship to end, because I do love her, I am still attracted to her and she's my best friend. I also suffer from massive anxiety, low self-esteem and low confidence, meaning that leaving the relationship would leave me in a very vulnerable position. I just don't know if I can cope with the relationship if it carrys on.

On top of all that, we have recently bought our first property, which was at the top of of what we could afford and only lived in it for a few months. The cost of selling the property, including estate agents fees, solicitors fees, the general loss we'd make on the sale and divorce fees on top...I can't financially support that.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation or have any advice that would help?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Was she, to your knowledge, ever intimate with this friend prior to your exclusive relationship and marriage with her?

She may be OK with “open relationships,” but it’s more than apparent that you clearly are not! To me, taking someone in marriage or a committed, exclusive relationship means preeminently that there is to be no erotical openness with any person other than their partner! That’s what marriage vows are all about!

I would think that bringing this subject matter up to her is certainly apropos, and if it’s this “openness” that she’s busy seeking, then she needs to know that “your marriage” with her is, in effect, null and void!*


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## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

StrugglingGuy1 said:


> I also suffer from massive anxiety, low self-esteem and low confidence, meaning that leaving the relationship would leave me in a very vulnerable position. I just don't know if I can cope with the relationship if it carrys on.
> 
> Has anyone else been in a similar situation or have any advice that would help?


Yes that sounds like me. By nature I'm very type B, low confidence, the works. I have to fight it every day. The good news is I'm winning. You need to work on yourself. My standard advice is hit the gym. I go at least 3 times a week and it's done wonders for me. The trainers even notice how much progress I've made and they shake my hand when I show up. Work hard and change your diet accordingly. Don't just push tiny weights around. Do at least some sets until failure or near failure. There is plenty of body building advice on the internet. And I'm 55 so don't think you are too old. You won't look like Mr Universe but you can look really good. 

Also start being introspective. If you catch yourself being a *****, make a conscious effort to fix it. That does not mean you need to become an a-hole, just stick up for yourself when you are being mistreated. Start dressing sharp too. 

That gets us back to your wife. You ARE being mistreated now. Lay it out for her: "YOU WILL CUT THAT XXXX OUT TODAY OR WE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE, AND IT WONT GO F-ING EASY!!!". If she doesn't change, go through with it and take my above advice at the same time (gym etc). Never let yourself be walked on.

I was divorced after my wife cheated a few years back. I was devastated. Now I'm remarried with beautiful wife who I love and who loves me. Aim high.


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## StrugglingGuy1 (Dec 15, 2017)

arbitrator said:


> *Was she, to your knowledge, ever intimate with this friend prior to your exclusive relationship and marriage with her?!*


Not to my knowledge and she denied when I asked.



arbitrator said:


> *She may be OK with “open relationships,” but it’s more than apparent that you clearly are not! To me, taking someone in marriage or a committed, exclusive relationship means preeminently that there is to be no erotical openness with any person other than their partner! That’s what marriage vows are all about!
> 
> I would think that bringing this subject matter up to her is certainly apropos, and if it’s this “openness” that she’s busy seeking, then she needs to know that “your marriage” with her is, in effect, null and void!*


I have brought it up and the conversations didn't end well, and it's not something I want to get into here. I have booked an appointment with my GP/Doctor and currently looking at some NHS councelling, though there wil be a wait list for that. My employer also offers some basic telephone support through a scheme they are enrolled onto, so I will be calling them shortly.



Rhubarb said:


> Yes that sounds like me. By nature I'm very type B, low confidence, the works. I have to fight it every day. The good news is I'm winning. You need to work on yourself. My standard advice is hit the gym. I go at least 3 times a week and it's done wonders for me. The trainers even notice how much progress I've made and they shake my hand when I show up. Work hard and change your diet accordingly. Don't just push tiny weights around. Do at least some sets until failure or near failure. There is plenty of body building advice on the internet. And I'm 55 so don't think you are too old. You won't look like Mr Universe but you can look really good.
> 
> Also start being introspective. If you catch yourself being a pu*sy, make a conscious effort to fix it. That does not mean you need to become an a-hole, just stick up for yourself when you are being mistreated. Start dressing sharp too.
> 
> ...


Yeah, it's always been a problem for me, even since childhood. Getting to that stage is going to take some doing, but I will try and become more confident. I also like your idea of the gym. I am in the worste shape I've ever been, so maybe I can use this time as a chance to get fit.


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## knightRider (Dec 31, 2014)

There's 2 things here that would push me to null the relationship:

1. "it has now come to light that she is no longer attracted to me"
2. "I recently caught my wife kissing one of her male friends in the other room"


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## knightRider (Dec 31, 2014)

For confidence building there is nothing like a combination of martial arts and religion.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

She’s been doing more than kissing.

Time to pull the plug.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

If you don't want an open marriage, she has made the decision pretty easy for you. She is kissing (at least) other men right now. What you want seems to be of little concern to her.

Let this sink in: This is happening. It's not theoretical, it's not a possibility, it's happening. Now. Make your decision now.



StrugglingGuy1 said:


> I also suffer from massive anxiety, low self-esteem and low confidence


This is where your efforts need to be spent.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

StrugglingGuy1 said:


> Yeah, it's always been a problem for me, even since childhood. Getting to that stage is going to take some doing, but I will try and become more confident. I also like your idea of the gym. I am in the worste shape I've ever been, so maybe I can use this time as a chance to get fit.


Interestingly enough, it took my wife cheating and the subsequent divorce to start feeling better about myself. That was the kick in the ass I needed.

My ex wife didn't treat me very well - nor does yours.

Getting out from underneath that, however overwhelming it may seem at the time, is actually very beneficial.

Ironically - and I suspect you know this - the lack of confidence is a huge part in why (and how) your wife is able to do what she's doing and say what she's saying. Was definitely true of my ex wife, I know that now.

You don't make out with another man under the same roof as your husband if you're scared of the consequences.

You also say your wife wants to remain married to you. My ex wife did, too. But it wasn't for the right reasons. We were best friends, for starters. We had a life together. We had fun together. We shared many common interests. We were financially stable. And - she didn't want to be alone.

Romantically and sexually, those feelings weren't there for her. Everything else was, though. Everything. It was a hard thing to give up, so she stayed with me until someone else came around that offered her all of that PLUS what was missing. And the instant she realized she could have the _exact same life_ as well as the romantic and sexual part that was missing from me, she was gone. Until that guy came along, she continued her good life with me.

Make no mistake - this is how these things end up the vast majority of the time.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Why stay?
Why allow her to disrespect you?
Why allow yourself to be treated like this?
Why listen to another lie?

1) First and foremost, your spouse is a person of low character (I would prefer to say pig, but that might be too "mean")
2) Second - The affair is not nor will it ever be your fault
3) Lawyer. Today. Know your rights. Start the Divorce. Start to get primary rights to your kids
4) Doctor - get STD/STI/HIV tests started. You life depends on it!
5) Counselor for you. One that has experience with infidelity. You're going to need to talk with someone about this
6) Eat.
7) Sleep (at least 8 hours a night if possible)
8) Drink water (avoid alcohol at this point, it won't help)
9) Get to gym and start working out - it helps the body, the mind, and the soul
10) Start to separate funds
11) 180 like your life depended on it.
12) DNA your kids. Not so much to see if they are yours (hopefully they are), but to show her that you can't trust anything about her
13) Expose. Lies thrive in the dark. 
14) Don't know who originally posted it, but they are a genius:

Just Let Them Go

The end result?

The end result is to respect yourself in the end, let go of the people that don't value you or respect you.

That is the end result.

The quickest way to get a cheating spouse back is to let them go with a smile on your face wishing them the best in life and hoping that everything works out in their relationship with their affair partner.

Seriously, the quickest way to get them back.

Nothing else works better or quicker.

Let them go.

Agree with them and their feelings,
"you should be with the OM, I hope he makes you happy, good bye"

Wouldn't that be true love?

If you really loved your spouse, and wanted them to have what they really want in life which is the other person they're in love with, wouldn't letting them go be the approach if you really love them?

Why focus on the affair or the drama associated with it?
Just let them go. Give them their freedom.

You can take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror everyday and improve yourself but do it for you, not for someone else, the changes will never stick when it's done for someone else, do it for your benefit and you will probably make those changes last much longer if not indefinitely - because it's for your benefit and you realize the importance and value in that benefit because YOU are involved.

I will never tell someone to change to entice a WAW back when she's been cheating on him. I don't care how bad a marriage, there is never an excuse for cheating. That is a personal decision that someone makes to cheat on their spouse. If a marriage is really bad, leave, get a divorce, speak up to your spouse and tell them flat out "this marriage sucks and if things don't change I'm going to leave you and find someone better" and if things don't improve, leave that person.

But cheating, no excuses.

Think about cheating.
A wayward spouse who cheats on their spouse goes behind their back, secretly, telling lies, feeling guilty, getting angry at their spouse for getting in the way of their fantasies but never owning up to their actions, never admitting what they're doing. If a person who cheats on their spouse felt justified in their actions, why hide and go behind their spouses backs when they start cheating, why lie, why make up excuses about late nights at work and going to a friends place and sleeping over because they drank too much and any other such nonsense?

Deep down, the cheating spouse knows there is something inherently wrong with their actions otherwise they wouldn't lie about their actions and hide what they're doing.

Fighting the affair? For what reason?
To compete with the OM or OW for your spouse?
What message does that communicate to your wayward spouse?
They have lots of value and you have none because now you have to compete with another person for their love? Competing with your wayward spouse's affair partner never works, it just prolongs an ugly drama filled process.

The easiest way to show you will not tolerate cheating in your relationship is to let that person go. That is the easiest and most effective way to show this.

"Look wife/husband, I won't be in an open relationship with you, I won't give you X number of days, weeks, months to make your mind, if you really feel like you need to sit on the fence on this decision and can't decide between your affair partner and me well I will make the decision for you, you can be with them because I'm no longer an option. I love you and wish you a good life with them and hope it works out for you because it didn't work out for us. Now the best thing we can do for each other is to make this process as graceful and peaceful as possible for us and our children, I'll contact a lawyer/mediator and get started on the process of our legal separation/divorce."

You give them what they want.
You don't fight them on this issue.
You agree with their feelings,
they want to be with the other person, fine they should be with the other person, let them be with the other person.

You will never convince a person to change their feelings with your arguments and logic. You can not find one member on this website in a situation where they are dealing with infidelity where they got their spouse to change their mind about how they feel about their affair partner.

You can't say "don't love them, love me instead",
you can't say "look at me, I'm better in every way compared to your affair partner, pick me instead of them",
you can't say "you took marriage vows, you promised to love me"

I agree, you don't have to make it easy for your wayward spouse to have an affair, but when you let them go, "lovingly detach", you don't have to worry about making it easy for them. It's no longer your concern, they can have you or them but not both and not at the same time and since they've chosen to have an affair, they've made their choice, there is no profit in fighting that decision. Let them go and move on with your life, that is the quickest, easiest way to get them back.

You definitely don't support them financially and enable them, that would be weak, wussy, clingy, insecure behavior - something in you telling you that you need to support them financially while they're having an affair, hoping they'll realize how nice you are and come back to you.

Just let them go, have them move out or you move out and live a good life without them.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

You clearly have low self-value/worth and are extremely codependent. Both are very unhealthy for you.

You should really look inward as why you feel you DESERVE to stay with someone who (1) clearly doesn't love you, (2) clearly isn't monogamous as you are and (3) clearly has very poor boundaries in marriage. She is not marriage material at all. Again, I ask you why you feel you must remain with or deserve to remain with someone who is so clearly not in love, sexually attracted to, or respectful of you (or the marriage).

Usually someone who feels they deserve crap stays in a crappy situation because they can't picture any better for themselves. You deserve more, on a fundamental level. You deserve happiness and compatibility. You deserve someone who knows better than to treat a spouse like this. 

The love in this relationship is very one-sided and she will play your fiddle strings KNOWING that your love blinds you to her piss poor behavior. You haven't put your foot down with her, so why would she stop or take any of your concerns seriously? 

Bad behavior should be punished, not rewarded with inaction. You must stand up for yourself because no one else will. A good start is seeking IC to deal with your anxiety and low self esteem. Those qualities need to be part of your past.... Now.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> *She’s been doing more than kissing.*
> 
> Time to pull the plug.


*I damned sure wouldn’t argue with nor bet against that!

In that event, and greatly provided that you’ve been intimate with her of recent, have your MD check you out nine ways from Sunday, for the presence of STD’s!

Unknowingly, you may well have been the recipient of “sloppy seconds!”*


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

StrugglingGuy1 said:


> Now, we have been in a relationship for many years and been married for two of them. We have had a lot of problems over those years, especially in terms of jealusy from her towards me


Why is this? Did you give her reason to be jealous? If so, that might be part of your current situation



StrugglingGuy1 said:


> and it has now come to light that she is no longer attracted to me, but still wants to be married to me and spend the rest of her life with me. However, she still wants to feel romantically involved with others with the statement 'what you don't know can't hurt you', which sounds to me like an 'open relationship'.


What she means is, 'what I can get away with behind your back won't hurt ME'. Fortunately, you already know.




StrugglingGuy1 said:


> Now, I am the jealous type and when I caught them kissing, I was extremely angry and I still am. This is why I don't think an 'open relationship' will work with me. She's been asking me to 'let go of jealousy', which is a far cry from the state we were in a few years ago. However, I don't know if I can.
> 
> I don't want the relationship to end, because I do love her, I am still attracted to her and she's my best friend.


Kissing another guy behind your back isn't an open relationship. It's cheating. If she had really desired an open relationship, she'd have discussed it with you first. She's covering up her infidelity with buzz-words. Open relationships are in vogue right now so she's using that to throw you off. Additionally, she is NOT your best friend. Best friends don't lie and betray each other. Period.



StrugglingGuy1 said:


> I also suffer from massive anxiety, low self-esteem and low confidence, meaning that leaving the relationship would leave me in a very vulnerable position. I just don't know if I can cope with the relationship if it carrys on.


Anxiety and self esteem issues will not be helped by allowing yourself to be treated poorly. It will exacerbate those issues. The first step in helping yourself is to protect yourself.





StrugglingGuy1 said:


> On top of all that, we have recently bought our first property, which was at the top of of what we could afford and only lived in it for a few months. The cost of selling the property, including estate agents fees, solicitors fees, the general loss we'd make on the sale and divorce fees on top...I can't financially support that.


Would you rather be miserable in an awesome house, or healthy and happy in a single bed apartment? This site has several guys that decided on the former over the latter, and they're still miserable. Personally, I'd opt for the apartment and get myself a dog to fill the "best friend" slot rather than the giant mortgage for the privilege of living with someone who has and continues to disrespect both me and our marriage.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

StrugglingGuy1 said:


> I'm new here and stumbled across this forum whilst searching for advice.
> 
> The crux of it is that I recently caught my wife kissing one of her male friends in the other room.
> 
> ...


You need a lawyer and now. Don't wait until she is pregnant with other men's babies and talks you into raising them. Yes, getting out of your property entanglement may cost you money but so what? What is the value of a miserable life chained to a cheater who cuckolds you right in your face? She wants you to accept being a cuckold! If you wait soon she will invite men over and ask you to pour them drinks then she will ask you to leave so she can entertain them. And it will get worse from there. 

Dude, she has told you to your face that she is not attracted to you but wants to USE you for monetary and emotional support the rest of her life. Tell me, what exactly is in it or you? A loveless relationship, lousy sex, empty bank account? Do you want to be chained to a mean miserable heartless shell of a human being? 

Man up! End this today! See a lawyer and tell her to go straight to hell.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Fees and cost aside , the the emotional and wrenching feelings you are going through is not worth it, yes you will be in the hole but at least you can climb out of a financial hole far easier then to be married to someone who is a lying cheat and disrespectful to you...that is to great of burden to hold on too. cut your loses now...and move on she has except she is lying to you.


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## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

The men here have given you great advice. 

I just wanted to tell you from my personal experience, the day I discovered my husband had a girlfriend I actually asked him if he had ever kissed her. I was so naive. I could not believe my husband would kiss another woman, let alone have sex with one. That day...I thought I was dying. I did not know how I would live from hour to hour. I discovered all this while he was out of town with his friends, something he did once a year. When confronted on the phone, he did not come home. He admitted it (after months and years of lies). He tried to squeeze a conversation with me in between beers with his friends. Anyway, I had to sit down with him when he got back and tell him it was over. The only other thing in my life that prepared me for that was telling my daughters their best friend had died. 

In the end, calmly telling him it was over was the best thing I ever did. I was so proud of myself, and I was where you are in the self esteem department. I consider the day I discovered the affair the best day of my life. 

Make up your mind to take your life back. She is not going to help you make the decision. She is stealing your life from you. You gave it to her when you married, and she is treating it like it is the rag she uses to clean up vomit. Look up what it means to 180 someone. That is what you need to do for yourself - 180 her. It will hurt like hell, but it will be the best thing you ever did. Get into therapy or a support group.

You can not convince someone to "be attracted" to you. You can not convince someone to treat you like the decent man you are. You can not convince someone to love you. And when you do, you humiliate yourself and they think even less of you.

Finally, once you start doing things for yourself - getting in shape, not letting her walk all over you, not accepting that you have to grovel for her love - she will come running back. That is when you really choose to love yourself and say thanks, but no thanks.

Good luck to you. My heart hurts for you.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

NickyT said:


> You can not convince someone to "be attracted" to you. You can not convince someone to treat you like the decent man you are. You can not convince someone to love you. And when you do, you humiliate yourself and they think even less of you.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Are you supporting her or is she supporting you?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

StrugglingGuy1 said:


> I'm new here and stumbled across this forum whilst searching for advice.
> 
> The crux of it is that I recently caught *my wife kissing one of her male friends in the other room.*


So she cheated, and...



> Now, we have been in a relationship for many years and been married for two of them. We have had a lot of problems over those years, especially in terms of jealusy from her towards me, and *it has now come to light that she is no longer attracted to me, but still wants to be married to me and spend the rest of her life with me. However, she still wants to feel romantically involved with others with the statement 'what you don't know can't hurt you', which sounds to me like an 'open relationship'.*


So you will be her sugardaddy who she won't touch while she spreads her legs for others.



> Now, I am the jealous type and when I caught them kissing, I was extremely angry and I still am. This is why I don't think an 'open relationship' will work with me. *She's been asking me to 'let go of jealousy', which is a far cry from the state we were in a few years ago. However, I don't know if I can.*


:rofl:



> I don't want the relationship to end, because I do love her, I am still attracted to her and she's my best friend.


So you're attracted to her and she isn't attracted to you. Best friends? Lol, she's using you. That's not what friends do let alone husband and wife.



> I also suffer from massive anxiety, low self-esteem and low confidence, meaning that leaving the relationship would leave me in a very vulnerable position. I just don't know if I can cope with the relationship if it carrys on.


And you will continue to suffer from it all, because you are being a doormat.



> On top of all that, we have recently bought our first property, which was at the top of of what we could afford and only lived in it for a few months. The cost of selling the property, including estate agents fees, solicitors fees, the general loss we'd make on the sale and divorce fees on top...I can't financially support that.


Too late. Either you enjoy being a cuckold and doormat while your wife bangs whoever strikes her fancy and won't even put out for you (and if she does, it's out of PITY), or you deal with the consequences of your decision to marry her.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

You have two major problems... Both can be fixed but will require a heavy dose of dedication and hard work.
1 - You have a marriage that may be unrecoverable. I really hope you don't have kids with her because divorce will be much more difficult. I can't see why you would want to stay with her. The 'love' you feel for her, does that love bubble include her desire to kiss/sex other men? While building your confidence may restore her attraction to you, i feel you may have fell too deep

2 - Your low self esteem/confidence. This is most likely the reason she feel out of love with you, and feels that she can kiss another man in your damn house. This really needs to be worked on as your top priority because even if you divorce her and find another great women you will fall down the same path again. 

I would recommend finding a martial art over a regular gym. While weight lifting will improve your body and mind you will get a fraction of the confidence you can develop if you were to take boxing, kickboxing, or muay thai classes (or a self defence class like Krav Maga.) I've done 3 years of kickboxing and 1-2 year of weight lifting.... Nothing has ever come close to the confidence i had leaving a hard kickboxing class. After a hard weight lifting session i would leave feeling good about myself.. but after a kickboxing class i would leave feeling like i could pop the head off anyone who pissed me off. 

I would recommend you find a martial art RIGHT now and start practicing... nothing like your wife thinking you can break some bones the next time you encounter a 'infidelity' moment in your house


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Rhubarb said:


> That gets us back to your wife. You ARE being mistreated now. Lay it out for her: "YOU WILL CUT THAT SH*T OUT TODAY OR WE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE, AND IT WONT GO F-ING EASY!!!". If she doesn't change, go through with it and take my above advice at the same time (gym etc). Never let yourself be walked on.


I think that it's too late for this in this guy's case. There's no sense in being married to a spouse who says "what you don't know won't hurt you" (or something similar) after being caught cheating.


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## Vulcan2013 (Sep 25, 2013)

You’re getting good advice. Open marriage seems like it would suck for a man, the woman can finds lots of guys, women generally don’t go for men in an open marriage. 

You really need to cut her loose. I’ve been where you are, low confidence, WW had me almost convinced no woman would look at me twice. 

Now I’m in my mid 50s, in great shape, and very happily single. 

Some reading assignments: 
No More Mr Nice Guy
Married Man Sex Life Primer
Hold on to Your NUTS

Hit the gym and learn to lift. Changes a mans physique and mindset. 

Look into the 180 and implement it. 

I don’t see how you can R with this one. Her attitude sucks, and it’s a sure thing she’s been screwing other men for a while. You should get an STD test.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I really have nothing to add here. This forum has really become the best one for people who are abused by their spouses through infidelity. OP listen to these people, your marriage may be over but your life doesn't have to be.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Google the word “cockold”, and then understand that most cockolds do not want to be one. You become a cockold by allowing it to happen.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

This is in NO WAY an open marriage. An open marriage is a subset of ETHICAL non-monogamy. NOT **** I am busted, now I think I will tell my husband how I am not attracted to him but want to keep paying the bills together while I screw around.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WOW!

She is a faithless skankasaur and isn't attracted to you and wants your permission to continue her skankasaurus rex behavior?

What's not to like?

Kissing her must be as pleasant as licking the inside of a public toilet!

She is obviously too hard to resist for you because she is soooooooo attractive so make sure and get your shots and load up on antibacterial cleansers before any intimacies.

Maybe invest in a spacesuit?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Know this...Struggling Guy.
A women has two sets of lips...

If she shares either, it is the same as the other.

The lower lips need, bring friction.
They are given, opened when the upper lips are ready.

The upper lips repel, rebuff friction. They want smooth harmony. 
They want love, want romance.
They show, display inner emotion, express love, demand love in return.

Oh, damn our women and love their lips.
Slippery things, these beauties.

And so hard to hold onto, 
When they move, squirm out of your grasp.
Out of your world.

And your wayward wifes lips are no longer in your domain.
You have lost them to another.

File for divorce.
Know that you had them, even if for a short time.
Relish the memories of those good times.

Forget the lips that got away, slipped off the hook, the smooch on your puss.

Find another, ones not itchy, unable to stay put, stay shut.

The Typist-


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> She’s been doing more than kissing.
> 
> Time to pull the plug.


Yeah, if your wife is comfortable enough to make out with him in your own home, while you're in the other room no less, she's been up to a lot of other activities when you're not present.


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

If she's not attracted to you why would you want to remain married? Just to pay her bills and watch the kids so she can screw her boyfriends? What are you getting out of a relationship like this?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@StrugglingGuy1 Sorry you had to seek us out, but I'm glad you found us.

As you speak my language (Estate Agents, Solicitors) I am presuming you are British.

Firstly get an first free hour consultation with all of the best solicitors in town.

As them for their explanation of how they fee you stand, legally speaking.

If your wife was already in other relationships at the time of signing the mortgage application and other papers such as deeds, etc., then that might impact on the decision you made to sign off on the purchase. Not sure it is going to fly, but worth checking up on.

Of course seeing all the best solicitors in your area would mean they would be blocked from representing your wife. But don't worry. I'm sure she'll learn to cope. Also, ask them about this https://www.accidentadvicehelpline.co.uk/blog/can-sue-someone-emotional-distress/

And get tested for STDs, too.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

TRy said:


> Google the word “cockold”, and then understand that most cockolds do not want to be one. You become a cockold by allowing it to happen.


Technically under those circumstances, he would be a witol. Which he isn't going to do as he is going to take action!:smthumbup:


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

What the hell is going on in Great Britain? After reading many threads on this board where there is at least one mention of a solicitor, I'm convinced if you go there, you have a 75% chance of having sex with someone's wife. The narcissism in that region is unreal. Every thread is basically about someone who declares the relationship open and the other spouse pretty much needs to deal with it. There is no GTFO or deal with it. Dealing with it is the only option.


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

This is why marriage today is B.S. for dudes. It IS a major contract, a legal document entitling the other party to half of everything you make, and if you have children considerably more. 

The marital contract is a legally binding contract with the state, Hallmark can put any romantic spin on it they want, it's a contract, no more. A contract of this magnitude should come with an out for unreasonable behavior, i.e. "I'm going to **** other men and you're just going to have to deal with it". When the marital contract is signed there's an expectation of love, kindness, sex, and honesty. Once one party willingly breaks their end of the agreement they should be entitled to nothing from the injured party.

Until this stuff changes don't sign a marriage contract ever.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Jus260 said:


> What the hell is going on in Great Britain? After reading many threads on this board where there is at least one mention of a solicitor, I'm convinced if you go there, you have a 75% chance of having sex with someone's wife. The narcissism in that region is unreal. Every thread is basically about someone who declares the relationship open and the other spouse pretty much needs to deal with it. There is no GTFO or deal with it. Dealing with it is the only option.


A Solicitor is the name of a type of lawyer in the UK. There are Barristers and also Legal Executives who are the UK equivalent of Paralegals.

They are called Solicitors because they solicit for legal business.

The use of the term Solicitor in the USA is not entirely forgotten the Solicitor General is still a high raning law officer in the USA:- https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solicitor_General_of_the_United_States


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> A Solicitor is the name of a type of lawyer in the UK. There are Barristers and also Legal Executives who are the UK equivalent of Paralegals.
> 
> They are called Solicitors because they solicit for legal business.
> 
> The use of the term Solicitor in the USA is not entirely forgotten the Solicitor General is still a high raning law officer in the USA:- https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solicitor_General_of_the_United_States


We're on the same page. Usually when I see the term "solicitor", I know exactly which region they are posting from. I didn't want to throw out that generalization without qualifying it.


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## toucheturtle (Nov 12, 2017)

What I don't know will not hurt Me? What about what I do know! This sounds like a line from an unimaginable bastard.i guess once the shock is over its time to cut loses and get out dodge.clap clap the human race has just sunk to a new low.


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