# Wife just revealed she wants to separate after 16 years of marriage



## besko (21 d ago)

She told me couple of days ago. It came to me as a complete shock. I thought we were doing OK and are financially stable with 2 kids aged 12 and 14. I begged and pleaded for her to reconsider but she is not giving an inch. I am really hurt since she has been planning this for months and hid it well. Looking for some advice on how to best deal with this situation emotionally. Any advice is appreciated.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Jeez, couldn't she at least wait until after the holidays, into the new year, before dropping this bomb on you?


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Don't beg her to stay, that's merely projecting weakness.
Study up on and implement the 180. Use that as a tool to distance yourself.
Protect yourself financially. Start looking for legal representation.
Right now, your best defense is a strong offense. Take charge.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

SunCMars said:


> Jeez, couldn't she at least wait until after the holidays, into the new year, before dropping this bomb on you?


Probably wants to spend Christmas with the OM.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Take the hit now while you are young.

She may be a walk-away wife, or one monkey-branching to another secret affair partner.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Numb26 said:


> Probably wants to spend Christmas with the OM.


OP, if this is the case, help facilitate that for her.


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## QuietGuy (Aug 31, 2021)

As suggested, consult a divorce lawyer asap. Learn and implement the 180. This helps you to create some emotional distance. Stop begging, pleading and crying in front of her as this makes you look weak and undesirable. Always portray a strong front to her even if you feel the opposite. Kick her out of the bedroom. The kids are old enough to be told in an age appropriate way. Make sure they know it was her decision. If she is having an affair (very likely) find the other betrayed spouse and inform her and reveal the affair to family and select friends. Protect yourself from false domestic violence claims. Wives in this situation have been known to make false DV claims, re-write the marital history to make the betrayed the bad person.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

besko said:


> She told me couple of days ago. It came to me as a complete shock. I thought we were doing OK and are financially stable with 2 kids aged 12 and 14. I begged and pleaded for her to reconsider but she is not giving an inch. I am really hurt since she has been planning this for months and hid it well. Looking for some advice on how to best deal with this situation emotionally. Any advice is appreciated.


Rarely will wives leave their husbands to be worse off.
Most will have a plan B, which is probably another guy.
Not possible to give advice unless more details are given.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

It is possible she is having an affair. Snag her phone if you can and check it for texts and emails. Check your phone company call log. Look on her social media and see if she has been messaging someone. If possible, hire a P.I. Arm yourself with information because she will spin it to everyone that she is not cheating and that she is just tired of you and wants out of the marriage. No woman ever just leaves the security of a marriage unless she has a steady branch to land on.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

So many unhappy ladies, so many promising arms, supposedly await them.

Likely, just another type and flavor, prikly, drama patch they find themselves into.

Into, knee deep.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Check your bank account and get half of your balance out.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Well since everyone has jumped onto the OM bandwagon why don't you tell us more about the marriage. Have you had any issues or has she expressed unhappiness with anything?

You say you thought you were doing "ok". That tells me you had issues but didn't think she'd go. Please share more details.

It's interesting that so many went right to OM when OP shared nothing about the marriage.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

From the way the OP says it came out of nowhere this has affair written all over it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Tested_by_stress said:


> This has affair written all over it.


Why? He's shared nothing about the marriage.

Woman leaves = affair?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Tested_by_stress said:


> From the way the OP says it came out of nowhere this has affair written all over it.


Usually how it happens


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## Sparky282 (11 mo ago)

You need to assume she is cheating.

you need to talk to a lawyer asap and see if it can affect divorce.

also if you discover an affair and blow it up it will give you the best chance to save your marriage.

she is trying to escape with out consequences.

don’t let her.

also you may change how you feel if you discover her cheating (which you probably will) which will give you the right mindset to deal with her.

when a woman checks out she is done. She is no longer your friend.

remember that.

that’s why affair advise seems harsh. You have to hit her with a shock and awe campaign to snap her out of her fantasy world.

after you find her affair (and you will) go for as much as you can in divorce (listen to your lawyer) tell the kids, family, may need to wait on job (if it’s a coworker).

your wife is dead my friend (I know that’s hard to hear) you need to look out for your own interest now.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Well since everyone has jumped onto the OM bandwagon why don't you tell us more about the marriage. Have you had any issues or has she expressed unhappiness with anything?
> 
> You say you thought you were doing "ok". That tells me you had issues but didn't think she'd go. Please share more details.
> 
> It's interesting that so many went right to OM when OP shared nothing about the marriage.


Men, they can never go there.
To go there, they might find themselves 

It is always the womenz' fault.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Tested_by_stress said:


> From the way the OP says it came out of nowhere this has affair written all over it.


Interesting.....maybe to HIM it came out of nowhere but without actually knowing anything about the marriage we have no idea what's going on.

Any guy who just didn't think he wife would leave but knew there were loads of issues could say the same thing. My kids father did.....he knew there were issues, he just didn't think I was going anywhere.

Does it not occur to people that if there was incriminating evidence he likely would've shared it? Posters like to cast themselves in the best light. If he shares actual evidence I will change my stance.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> Men, they can never go there.
> To go there, they might find themselves
> 
> It is always the womenz' fault.


Some people say that there's a woman to blame......

There always is!

-Jimmy Buffet


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

besko said:


> She told me couple of days ago. It came to me as a complete shock. I thought we were doing OK and are financially stable with 2 kids aged 12 and 14. I begged and pleaded for her to reconsider but she is not giving an inch. I am really hurt since she has been planning this for months and hid it well. Looking for some advice on how to best deal with this situation emotionally. Any advice is appreciated.


Maybe I'm biased, but I don't see these type posts coming from women. I know i'm going to get **** for this, and it goes against all conventional thinking, but deep down I think woman have the ability to be much colder than men in general.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

God should have made women with an anchor bolt.

Lest, they bolt and run.

A tie-ring that will not break!

Alas, it will not happen, God gave those lasses long legs for a reason.

A sad thing, it is, they take their hips and lips, with them.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

SunCMars said:


> God should have made women with an anchor bolt.
> 
> Lest, they bolt and run.
> 
> ...


On the brightside, there is always another one waiting


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Mybabysgotit said:


> Maybe I'm biased, but I don't see these type posts coming from women. I know i'm going to get **** for this, and it goes against all conventional thinking, but deep down I think woman have the ability to be much colder than men in general.


I think that's an oversimplification. Often women who decide to leave have been processing it for a long time so when she pulls the trigger she seems cold. But she may have been sending out signals that the guy either didn't see or chose to ignore.

I can tell you that this happened in both of my marriages. They both knew I was unhappy and they both knew why, they just chose to ignore it. So I was an emotional wreck (neither one offered me an ounce of caring) but when I was done and THEY were hurting I was supposed to stay up all night and comfort them. The fact is that my unhappiness wasn't the issue....my decision to leave was. And then of course I was a frigid *****. My kids father said I was a robot....absolutely false, but when I expressed unhappiness he told me I had nothing to he unhappy about and to shut up

Hb #2 threatened ME with divorce when I wouldn't let him rugsweep his affair. But I was the cold one at the end.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> I think that's an oversimplification. Often women who decide to leave have been processing it for a long time so when she pulls the trigger she seems cold. But she may have been sending out signals that the guy either didn't see or chose to ignore.
> 
> I can tell you that this happened in both of my marriages. They both knew I was unhappy and they both knew why, they just chose to ignore it. So I was an emotional wreck (neither one offered me an ounce of caring) but when I was done and THEY were hurting I was supposed to stay up all night and comfort them. The fact is that my unhappiness wasn't the issue....my decision to leave was. And then of course I was a frigid ***. My kids father said I was a robot....absolutely false, but when I expressed unhappiness he told me I had nothing to he unhappy about and to shut up
> 
> Hb #2 threatened ME with divorce when I wouldn't let him rugsweep his affair. But I was the cold one at the end.


They only thing my XW was processing when she decide to leave was numerous genitalia. I didn't care if she was giving out signals that I missed because I was the one who went cold. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> They only thing my XW was processing when she decide to leave was numerous genitalia. I didn't care if she was giving out signals that I missed because I was the one who went cold. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


See? Men can go cold!

Women screwing others aren't in my sample set 😂


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Numb26 said:


> On the brightside, there is always another one waiting


Not all waiting, shine bright!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Can you tell us more? What are her reasons for wanting to end the marriage? Have you had recent issues? Have either of you cheated before? Have either of you got drunk/drug issues?
Would she agree to MC?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> See? Men can go cold!
> 
> Women screwing others aren't in my sample set 😂


In all seriousness, I went cold because it was the only way to survive the damage she did.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> I think that's an oversimplification. Often women who decide to leave have been processing it for a long time so when she pulls the trigger she seems cold. But she may have been sending out signals that the guy either didn't see or chose to ignore.
> 
> I can tell you that this happened in both of my marriages. They both knew I was unhappy and they both knew why, they just chose to ignore it. So I was an emotional wreck (neither one offered me an ounce of caring) but when I was done and THEY were hurting I was supposed to stay up all night and comfort them. The fact is that my unhappiness wasn't the issue....my decision to leave was. And then of course I was a frigid ***. My kids father said I was a robot....absolutely false, but when I expressed unhappiness he told me I had nothing to he unhappy about and to shut up
> 
> Hb #2 threatened ME with divorce when I wouldn't let him rugsweep his affair. But I was the cold one at the end.


But this guy said he had no clue whatsoever. Are you telling me that after 16 years of marriage, one spouse doesn't know the other spouse? At this point after my 16 years of marriage I can read my wife's mind and finish her sentences. I know when she's feeling down just by the energy in the room and her the same for me. And if what your saying is correct, then don't you think the person that is unhappy should actually mention it and talk about it rather than having their spouse guess? this case doesn't look like she mentioned it at all.


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## besko (21 d ago)

To elaborate a bit more, we've had fights like any married couple. Four years ago I wasn't happy with her contribution in the household (she was stay at home but spent all her time outside of the house doing volunteer activities leaving everything in the house for me when I got home from work). I told her I needed her to cut the volunteer work and focus more on our household and she wouldn't. I walked out for 2 days. We eventually reconciled and she tells me she never forgave me that. She started hanging out with her friends more and I'm sure that has contributed to her being emotionally distanced. I am thinking there is not another man and she confirmed that. unfortunately, I have a way to verify that although anything is possible I guess. The worst part of it is that she's been planning this for months. It appears that she has already grieved/gotten over our marriage and is steadfast that she wants a separation. Our state (SC) requires couples o be physically separated for 1 year before filing for divorce.

She complained about things as did I - married couple complain. I guess in her mind, those were big issues and is not willing get over with or try to work on.

Financially, she'll be ok. She has a part time nursing job but we are well off as I make a god living. I am betting she is hoping she will get a fat alimony and child support that should be more enough for for her.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Mybabysgotit said:


> But this guy said he had no clue whatsoever. Are you telling me that after 16 years of marriage, one spouse doesn't know the other spouse? At this point after my 16 years of marriage I can read my wife's mind and finish her sentences. I know when she's feeling down just by the energy in the room and her the same for me. And if what your saying is correct, then don't you think the person that is unhappy should actually mention it and talk about it rather than having their spouse guess? this case doesn't look like she mentioned it at all.



Absolutely and that supports my point. He supposedly had NO idea there were any issues despite saying he thought they were doing "ok".

Does that sound like a guy who thought he was blissfully married? He doesn't say that they were happy and then she started acting weird, he doesn't say anything. Why not?

I agree with you....after 4 years I can read my bf pretty well. And we don't even live together.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Then get an attorney and hammer the sh*t out of her, because she is damn sure not going to spare you any grace.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

What about the house was she neglecting?

In that position I'd feel like I was an employee instead of a partner but more details would help.

And it never occurred to you that your wife was spending more time with friends and that distance was being created? Why not? How did you think that would end?


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## besko (21 d ago)

lifeistooshort said:


> I think that's an oversimplification. Often women who decide to leave have been processing it for a long time so when she pulls the trigger she seems cold.


She has. She's been contemplating this for months and has finally pulled the trigger.


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## besko (21 d ago)

lifeistooshort said:


> What about the house was she neglecting?
> 
> In that position I'd feel like I was an employee instead of a partner but more details would help.
> 
> And it never occurred to you that your wife was spending more time with friends and that distance was being created? Why not? How did you think that would end?


The volunteer work would require the same amount of time as a full time job basically. So imagine all the things couples have to do when they both work (cooking, cleaning, kids, paperwork, bills) etc. She would also spend our money while volunteering buying supplies, using our car and gas to run errands etc. It was costing us significantly financially also. I didn't mind her doing that but at a smaller scale so it was more manageable.

I thought we were happy. We bought a new house 1.5 years ago that we both love. We've been making upgrades, buying furniture etc.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Woman. I'm not happy
Man, What'd you mean you're not happy?
Woman: yes, no happy
Man, but why?
Woman, you know why
Man, are you saying this because I went with my pals out the other night?
Woman, No, you know. it's not just that.
Man, then, what?
Woman, Arrrgg, you are just upsetting me more, right now.
Man, come on, I don't have time for this nagging crap anymore.
Man (to himself), she's just bat **** crazy.


In other words, it normally is lack of good communication.

Good, clear communication is key to any relationship. That's how it starts.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

besko said:


> The volunteer work would require the same amount of time as a full time job basically. So imagine all the things couples have to do when they both work (cooking, cleaning, kids, paperwork, bills) etc. She would also spend our money while volunteering buying supplies, using our car and gas to run errands etc. It was costing us significantly financially also. I didn't mind her doing that but at a smaller scale so it was more manageable.
> 
> I thought we were happy. We bought a new house 1.5 years ago that we both love. We've been making upgrades, buying furniture etc.


So she works too?

When did this excessive volunteering start? Did you try to sit her down to talk before you walked out?

Perhaps a little covert investigating is warranted here. Was there a point where her behavior changed suddenly?


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## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

besko said:


> Financially, she'll be ok. She has a part time nursing job but we are well off as I make a god living. I am betting she is hoping she will get a fat alimony and child support that should be more enough for for her.


That would be a good bet if you do not have a very solid divorce attorney. Part time should not be an option afterwards. BTW dismissing another man based on her word is laughable. Detective to murder suspect - did you do it? No. Ok good enough for me. LOL

Make sure you hire the best divorce attorney in the state of SC. Why are you paying CS? Perhaps the children would rather be with you. Base alimony on her having full time not part tie job. Start gathering financial data as this is all going to be needed soon. Assets, debts and so forth.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

besko said:


> The volunteer work would require the same amount of time as a full time job basically. So imagine all the things couples have to do when they both work (cooking, cleaning, kids, paperwork, bills) etc. She would also spend our money while volunteering buying supplies, using our car and gas to run errands etc. It was costing us significantly financially also. I didn't mind her doing that but at a smaller scale so it was more manageable.
> 
> I thought we were happy. We bought a new house 1.5 years ago that we both love. We've been making upgrades, buying furniture etc.


Sounds like she was playing the long game while you were sitting on your hands. You better get a move on and protect yourself.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

besko said:


> The volunteer work would require the same amount of time as a full time job basically. So imagine all the things couples have to do when they both work (cooking, cleaning, kids, paperwork, bills) etc. *She would also spend our money while volunteering buying supplies, using our car and gas to run errands etc. It was costing us significantly financially also.* I didn't mind her doing that but at a smaller scale so it was more manageable.
> 
> I thought we were happy. We bought a new house 1.5 years ago that we both love. We've been making upgrades, buying furniture etc.


If she was using your money and resources without your blessing, then that is financial infidelity. Did she keep all receipts so you could at least try to recoup some tax credits? If not, how could she prove she was spending the money on the charity work? Did you just take her word for it? 

She sounds like a selfish, entitled little brat who got mad at you because you asked her to stop acting like a selfish, entitled brat.


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## besko (21 d ago)

SongoftheSouth said:


> That would be a good bet if you do not have a very solid divorce attorney. Part time should not be an option afterwards. BTW dismissing another man based on her word is laughable. Detective to murder suspect - did you do it? No. Ok good enough for me. LOL
> 
> Make sure you hire the best divorce attorney in the state of SC. Why are you paying CS? Perhaps the children would rather be with you. Base alimony on her having full time not part tie job. Start gathering financial data as this is all going to be needed soon. Assets, debts and so forth.


Luckily I am in charge of all finances. She has very little clue about that. I have an appointment with an attorney on Tuesday to talk about this. Nothing is set in stone yet. She had her consultation already and this info is what the lawyer told her.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

For sure do not pay alimony for her to work part time. She can work like the rest of us.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> My kids father did.....he knew there were issues, he just didn't think I was going anywhere.


I find that some men never really want to address the issues, and then make the women out to have the issue. They think that after marriage, the work into the relationship stops. It doesn't and shouldn't.


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## besko (21 d ago)

lifeistooshort said:


> So she works too?
> 
> When did this excessive volunteering start? Did you try to sit her down to talk before you walked out?
> 
> Perhaps a little covert investigating is warranted here. Was there a point where her behavior changed suddenly?


Volunteering was 3-4 years ago and a cause of me walking out then. That is not an issue now. She is giving me all these reason why we've grown apart none of which are not fixable and I have offered to fix them and work on them to make them permanent long term. I even offered a 2 month trial period to ensure that what she complains about is truly fixed and then another probation period and so on to ensure the changes are long term and permanent. She won't budge. It doesn't make sense given that she has nothing to lose but 2 months of her time.


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## besko (21 d ago)

ArthurGPym said:


> If she was using your money and resources without your blessing, then that is financial infidelity. Did she keep all receipts so you could at least try to recoup some tax credits? If not, how could she prove she was spending the money on the charity work? Did you just take her word for it?
> 
> She sounds like a selfish, entitled little brat who got mad at you because you asked her to stop acting like a selfish, entitled brat.


Charity work was long time ago and no longer an issue. That was the reason we fought initially that she supposedly never forgave me.


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## besko (21 d ago)

Another thing I didn't mention. She went on a Cruise in November with her 2 friends (also married) and partied like an animal. She spent over $5,000 not including the cost of the cruise. There was a over a $1,000 in just booze. In hindsight, that was the turning point.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

besko said:


> Charity work was long time ago and no longer an issue. That was the reason we fought initially that she supposedly never forgave me.


Well that's a sack of horse manure excuse. Dude, end it with this brat. You aren't losing much splitting with a trifling-ass woman like her.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

besko said:


> Another thing I didn't mention. She went on a Cruise in November with her 2 friends (also married) and partied like an animal. She spent over $5,000 not including the cost of the cruise. There was a over a $1,000 in just booze. In hindsight, that was the turning point.


Yeah, there is someone else


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

besko said:


> Another thing I didn't mention. She went on a Cruise in November with her 2 friends (also married) and partied like an animal. She spent over $5,000 not including the cost of the cruise. There was a over a $1,000 in just booze. In hindsight, that was the turning point.


O man....


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

besko said:


> She spent over $5,000 not including the cost of the cruise. There was a over a $1,000 in just booze. In hindsight, that was the turning point.





besko said:


> Luckily I am in charge of all finances.


These two statements are contradictory, unless you gave the blessings to this expense ahead of time.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

besko said:


> Another thing I didn't mention. She went on a Cruise in November with her 2 friends (also married) and partied like an animal. She spent over $5,000 not including the cost of the cruise. There was a over a $1,000 in just booze. In hindsight, that was the turning point.


Well…she very likely met someone on the cruise. read up on the 180, implement it, and do not cry beg or plead. Women respect strength. Do not display weakness.


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## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

I am sorry to write that she is already 2 steps ahead of you. I hope she has not already consulted with the best divorce attorneys in your area because that may preclude you from hiring them. I suspect her "friends" may have been advising her for months while you were in the dark. I hope you come out ok Besko. All the best.


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## besko (21 d ago)

Rob_1 said:


> These two statements are contradictory, unless you gave the blessings to this expense ahead of time.


I gave her the blessing for the cruise with her friends. i did not give her the blessing to spend $5k while on a 5 day cruise. She used her CC so I never knew until she came back. She then expected me to pay it off and fool me I did.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

besko said:


> I gave her the blessing for the cruise with her friends. i did not give her the blessing to spend $5k while on a 5 day cruise. She used her CC so I never knew until she came back. She then expected me to pay it off and fool me I did.


Wow you're a nice husband! My husband would NEVER dare allow me to go anywhere with friends like that, esp with kids. With my kids and parents, yes he would say ok! But he would divorce me if I ever dared to go with friends. And tbh, I personally don't want to be on a vacation without my kids and spouse. If I was younger and single, sure I'd rent a house somewhere country-ish, but. not now.


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## besko (21 d ago)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Well…she very likely met someone on the cruise. read up on the 180, implement it, and do not cry beg or plead. Women respect strength. Do not display weakness.





GC1234 said:


> Wow you're a nice husband! My husband would NEVER dare allow me to go anywhere with friends like that, esp with kids. With my kids and parents, yes he would say ok! But he would divorce me if I ever dared to go with friends. And tbh, I personally don't want to be on a vacation without my kids and spouse. If I was younger and single, sure I'd rent a house somewhere country-ish, but. not now.


We are well off financially so I didn't mind giving her the freedom. But it seems like it backfired.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

besko said:


> We are well off financially so I didn't mind giving her the freedom. But it seems like it backfired.


Obviously, it certainly did. But most likely by then, she was do already set to surprise you, therefore not a care in the world about expending the money. There has to be someone. Male or female.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Hire a P.I.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

besko said:


> Volunteering was 3-4 years ago and a cause of me walking out then. That is not an issue now. She is giving me all these reason why we've grown apart none of which are not fixable and I have offered to fix them and work on them to make them permanent long term. I even offered a 2 month trial period to ensure that what she complains about is truly fixed and then another probation period and so on to ensure the changes are long term and permanent. She won't budge. It doesn't make sense given that she has nothing to lose but 2 months of her time.


That's because she doesn't want to fix it. 

OP, I smell a rat here. It's time to take a close look at some of the easier things to rule in (or out) an affair. Start by taking a close look at your phone bill. If you find something, tell her nothing about it. Bring it here for advice before you confront so you are well equipped.

Lastly, don't take her word on anything. She's shown she can no longer be trusted.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

You should probably also get a STD screening.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

besko said:


> I gave her the blessing for the cruise with her friends. i did not give her the blessing to spend $5k while on a 5 day cruise. She used her CC so I never knew until she came back. She then expected me to pay it off and fool me I did.


Oh for f*ck sake... 

A couple grand for a P.I. will be the best money you ever spent.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

The question you should be asking yourself is who did she meet on the cruise and is she still in touch with him. Start digging.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Openminded said:


> The question you should be asking yourself is who did she meet on the cruise and is she still in touch with him. Start digging.


She was definitely "in touch" with him on the cruise


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Did you say SC? IIRC, SC is one of those states where adultery makes a huge difference in settlement and one can even sue for Alienation of Affection. 

So, yeah, hire a PI. She shows tons of signs of an affair, but she'd be a total fool to admit to it.


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## Inside_Looking_Out (Apr 8, 2012)

besko said:


> The volunteer work would require the same amount of time as a full time job basically. So imagine all the things couples have to do when they both work (cooking, cleaning, kids, paperwork, bills) etc. She would also spend our money while volunteering buying supplies, using our car and gas to run errands etc. It was costing us significantly financially also. I didn't mind her doing that but at a smaller scale so it was more manageable.
> 
> I thought we were happy. We bought a new house 1.5 years ago that we both love. We've been making upgrades, buying furniture etc.


I have been down that path before. The first five years of my marriage, I was a stay at home mom with a young child. My life looked drastically different than I had planned it. 

The man I was (and still am) married to, was not receptive to understanding how claustrophobic I felt. I had a need for a social/creative outlet. I would have been fine to make him my creative outlet, goodness knows I tried. I had a high sexual desire, and would go out of my way to craft experiences and such...he wanted nothing to do with it really. He was uncreative and rather vanilla about it all. It was a huge let down for me emotionally. I wanted to connect with him so badly.

I started to look for other ways to occupy my mind. I ended up getting involved with a ton of community groups, volunteer work, you name it. I would have never considered cheating on him with another man, but the interactions I had with these groups were definitely scratching a need I had. I needed mental stimulation, attention, accolades even. Years went on, and my husband was certainly resentful of the time I was putting into volunteer groups. We had fights, so many fights. I told him so plainly, I need this because you will not take the time to pay attention to me, to be creative, to want to experience new things, etc. He didn't see it as important, so, he decided it still didn't need to be done. 

His resentment and our distance made an empty space between us. He had an emotional affair, then later a physical affair with a particularly egregious affair partner. Things happened that threw us back together, and we ended up reconciling. 

In working through counseling and such, he admitted that he knew what I was doing by immersing myself into all the volunteer work. It was easier to let me do that than the things I was asking of him. He in turn, used his resentment over it as an excuse to cheat. And that cheating is one hundred percent on his plate. However, I take accountability for the fact that I ran from problems and received what I needed elsewhere as well. 

I don't know if your wife was trying to fill a hole the way I was or not. Maybe it wasn't anywhere near that...maybe she was having an affair or maybe it was something that wasn't on the radar. But, I will say, your marriage was not okay. There was something she was trying to fill then. When that outlet went away because she was called out on it...the problem didn't go away, it was just lying in wait.


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## TrailTrekker (10 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> Take the hit now while you are young.
> 
> She may be a walk-away wife, or one monkey-branching to another secret affair partner.


Don’t want to hijack the thread, just asking what you mean by ‘walk away wife’, I’ve heard that term recently, and didn’t see a thread on this board about it, thanks in advance for some more insights into that.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

A walk-away-wife is a wife who gives up on her marriage and walks away..... 

Alone, or with her children in tow.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

TrailTrekker said:


> Don’t want to hijack the thread, just asking what you mean by ‘walk away wife’, I’ve heard that term recently, and didn’t see a thread on this board about it, thanks in advance for some more insights into that.


Walk away wives disconnect from their spouse but stay after usually for the kids. Then at some point the kids are old enough or the wife is disconnected enough they just leave. The guy is blind sided and confused when the wife says she hasn’t been happy for years and that she’s planned the divorce.

Typically some things that happen are there is a bunch of resentment. Often from having said what was bothering her for years that was dismissed or at least never changed by the husband. At some point the wife stops complaining but doesn’t stop resenting the marriage. Such as you don’t romance me anymore, you just expect me to be Horny when you are. A husband that threatens divorce to get his way (looks like OP falls in this category. Or a a laundry list of other typical things. 

Then when the wife is detached and already ‘divorced’ in her heart and making moves to make it permanent. The husband will ask what happened. If the wife bothers to tell him he’ll be like yeah she used to say that was a problem. Or I knew that but since she stopped complaining or since we still had sex I thought everything was ok. So usually the husband does know but since it wasn’t his problem and ignoring it ‘worked’ he never bothered to change. Sadly they are often times willing to change when the divorce comes. But by then the wife hasn’t been in love for a long time. Has built up her life and courage to leave and really is now moving forward and doesn’t have anything left for the marriage.

OP. The leaving that you did destabilized you marriage. You basically said you were willing to divorce over it. She chose divorce. She just chose her own time line. I’m sure there were other things as well. The cruise IF it was the turning point was probably only because the resentment and desire to divorce has been there a awhile and on the cruise she probably decided to pull the trigger due to support from friends. Yes she may have also cheated. You should check what you can.


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## Annonymous Joe (9 mo ago)

ArthurGPym said:


> Oh for f*ck sake...
> 
> A couple grand for a P.I. will be the best money you ever spent.


Agree, especially if it is a state where adultery impacts the financial outcome of the divorce settlement.


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## Annonymous Joe (9 mo ago)

besko said:


> She told me couple of days ago. It came to me as a complete shock. I thought we were doing OK and are financially stable with 2 kids aged 12 and 14. I begged and pleaded for her to reconsider but she is not giving an inch. I am really hurt since she has been planning this for months and hid it well. Looking for some advice on how to best deal with this situation emotionally. Any advice is appreciated.


Good luck, you're going to be in for a wild ride. Protect your finances, protect your children, don't fall for her words (watch her actions), don't try to date anyone, go no contact unless it's about the children, go the gym or start an exercise routine, don't abuse alcohol or substances to numb the pain, and most importantly call a lawyer on Monday, preferably one with access to a good PI or call a good PI yourself so you can try to find out who she is cheating with. You're past the point of no return and if she returns, it's only because she wants something from you. You're not her Plan B/ATM. Don't be. You showed her you will beg, she may even be playing a dirty game to get her own validation. Don't. Just don't. Let her walk and protect everything else, most importantly, yourself, because if it starts going sideways for her, expect false allegations to be coming. You're welcome.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

besko said:


> Volunteering was 3-4 years ago and a cause of me walking out then. That is not an issue now. She is giving me all these reason why we've grown apart none of which are not fixable and I have offered to fix them and work on them to make them permanent long term. I even offered a 2 month trial period to ensure that what she complains about is truly fixed and then another probation period and so on to ensure the changes are long term and permanent. She won't budge. It doesn't make sense given that she has nothing to lose but 2 months of her time.


Make sure that SHE moves out of the house, since SHE wants the separation.


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## TrailTrekker (10 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> Walk away wives disconnect from their spouse but stay after usually for the kids. Then at some point the kids are old enough or the wife is disconnected enough they just leave. The guy is blind sided and confused when the wife says she hasn’t been happy for years and that she’s planned the divorce.
> 
> Typically some things that happen are there is a bunch of resentment. Often from having said what was bothering her for years that was dismissed or at least never changed by the husband. At some point the wife stops complaining but doesn’t stop resenting the marriage. Such as you don’t romance me anymore, you just expect me to be Horny when you are. A husband that threatens divorce to get his way (looks like OP falls in this category. Or a a laundry list of other typical things.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the explanation, I appreciate it.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Inside_Looking_Out said:


> I have been down that path before. The first five years of my marriage, I was a stay at home mom with a young child. My life looked drastically different than I had planned it.
> 
> The man I was (and still am) married to, was not receptive to understanding how claustrophobic I felt. I had a need for a social/creative outlet. I would have fine to make him my creative outlet, goodness knows I tried. I had a high sexual desire, and would go out of my way to craft experiences and such...he wanted nothing to do with it really. He was uncreative and rather vanilla about it all. It was a huge let down for me emotionally. I wanted to connect with him so badly.
> 
> ...


I am truly humbled.at this, what you wrote, what you went thru 
And, HE cheated.

I am.


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## Exit37 (3 mo ago)

SongoftheSouth said:


> That would be a good bet if you do not have a very solid divorce attorney. Part time should not be an option afterwards. BTW dismissing another man based on her word is laughable. Detective to murder suspect - did you do it? No. Ok good enough for me. LOL
> 
> Make sure you hire the best divorce attorney in the state of SC. Why are you paying CS? Perhaps the children would rather be with you. Base alimony on her having full time not part tie job. Start gathering financial data as this is all going to be needed soon. Assets, debts and so forth.


OP, this is exactly correct, read it and live it. Listen, she has been planning this for months, got her ducks in a row and pulled the trigger when she was ready. That means that she never intended to try to work on the marriage, never gave you a chance to go to therapy and try to "fix" whatever she was unhappy with. In the meantime, she let you buy a house, and furnish it... I'm betting she intends to stay in the house with the kids after the divorce, working PT while collecting alimony and child support.

She was unhappy, she now wants a divorce, all of that is fine, it happens. But she set you up with all of this. Bet on it. And I would also bet that she has been seeing your replacement for a while.

Get a good divorce attorney and fight for what's yours. 50/50 custody, reasonable support, the house gets sold and profit split down the middle. Do not let her profit from this deception. Start the hard 180 as well, she is moving on let her see what that will look like a bit. Hang in there.


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## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

Well , you seem to be well off financially, I would definitely hire a PI...if the change came after the cruise it would seem that she met someone. 😉 . Are you friendly with the other 2 women she went on the cruise with ? I'll bet they know..Maybe you should ask them. 

The PI will get results in very short order , my friend got the skinny on his wife. Cost him 2k...Best money he ever spent 

Good luck...I would want to know if there was someone else..


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## besko (21 d ago)

Jimi007 said:


> Well , you seem to be well off financially, I would definitely hire a PI...if the change came after the cruise it would seem that she met someone. 😉 . Are you friendly with the other 2 women she went on the cruise with ? I'll bet they know..Maybe you should ask them.
> 
> The PI will get results in very short order , my friend got the skinny on his wife. Cost him 2k...Best money he ever spent
> 
> Good luck...I would want to know if there was someone else..


Will definitely get the PI. Saw some shady emails. She keeps buying 2 tickets for a local country bar that hosts singers. I am not going so there must be someone else.


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## Exit37 (3 mo ago)

besko said:


> Will definitely get the PI. Saw some shady emails. She keeps buying 2 tickets for a local country bar that hosts singers. I am not going so there must be someone else.


Perfect first stop for your PI. Don't let her know that you are on to her, let's see what he comes up with. In the mean time, start digging through the phone bill, look through her laptop or tablet, and check her phone if you can get to it. I would also put a VAR in her car, I bet that would help give you clarity on the situation in just a few days.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

It sounds crazy but what you experienced is pretty normal. Things seem ok with you because a lot of ladies don't communicate just how bad they feel about the situation. Instead of doing this, they drop hints here and there, expecting you to understand what's really going on. You never will, of course, so they move on to phase 2, which is them planning to leave. They'll usually have all their ducks in a row with a new guy lined up and everything before they ever say a word to you about wanting to actually end things. That's why she doesn't want to spend 2 months trying to make things work now. From your perspective, she has nothing to lose, but for her, she's laid out all these plans and maybe a new guy...she won't budge. 

You're doing the right thing by hitting up your lawyer. Odds are, the lawyer is going to tell you to do some things that seem cold or callous and you might not want to do them. Do them anyway. She will not be so squeamish when the time comes to screw you over.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

besko said:


> Volunteering was 3-4 years ago and a cause of me walking out then. That is not an issue now. She is giving me all these reason why we've grown apart none of which are not fixable and I have offered to fix them and work on them to make them permanent long term. I even offered a 2 month trial period to ensure that what she complains about is truly fixed and then another probation period and so on to ensure the changes are long term and permanent. She won't budge. It doesn't make sense given that she has nothing to lose but 2 months of her time.


So what’s her list?


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Those of us here telling you there is someone else are not wishing that upon you. They are relating extensive experience.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Mothers of 12 and 14 year olds do not leave their financially supportive husbands without reason unless they have some kind of mental or personality disorder. 

IMHO there is an 85% chance that the reason is there is another man that she thinks is a bigger, better deal (BBD)

Or a 15% chance she is so full of anger and resentment and discontent with you that she would rather sit in her own apartment doing her own thing and only seeing her children half the time rather than stay with you. For a mother of minor children, that is a pretty powerful force to make her consciously choose to separate from the marital home and give up 50% of her time with the children. She has to be REALLY pissed off and resentful for her to do that in the absence of another man that she thinks is a BBD. 

So which is actually better and which is actually worse? Her leaving for OM that she thinks is better, or leaving because she is simply so disgusted with you? 

If you do live in a state where adultery has a meaningful impact on the divorce settlement, then by all means hire a PI ASAP and get the evidence needed to reduce your financial losses in the settlement (assuming that the your asset division will be more than the cost of the PI) 

If you live in a state where adultery matters in a divorce settlement, you may end paying less if she is having an affair and leaving you for someone else vs leaving you because she thinks you suck.


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## besko (21 d ago)

Yes, you all were right. There is another man. I'ts been going on for a few months and she has seen him several time. I pieced the things together from call logs etc.I secretly started the recording on my phone and confronted her about it. She admitted. Will this hold up in divorce court is my biggest questions. I also have other evidence of her buying him gifts, expensive dinning in areas where he lives etc.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

ASAP retain a lawyer. Your attorney will tell you everything that by law will happen. Dude completely cut her out your life. Children custody will be arrange trough the court 50/50. 

There's nothing else to do. She's ahead of the game with you. Now it's time to catch up. The longer you hesitate, the better for her team


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## besko (21 d ago)

Rob_1 said:


> ASAP retain a lawyer. Your attorney will tell you everything that by law will happen. Dude completely cut her out your life. Children custody will be arrange trough the court 50/50.
> 
> There's nothing else to do. She's ahead of the game with you. Now it's time to catch up. The longer you hesitate, the better for her team


Yep, day after the holiday, I have an appointment first thing in the AM


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

besko said:


> Yes, you all were right. There is another man. I'ts been going on for a few months and she has seen him several time. I pieced the things together from call logs etc.I secretly started the recording on my phone and confronted her about it. She admitted. Will this hold up in divorce court is my biggest questions. I also have other evidence of her buying him gifts, expensive dinning in areas where he lives etc.


This is what I guessed.
So sorry this has happened to you, especially over the Christmas period.
Do you know if that jerk is married or not?
If he is married do inform his wife.


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## Indian_Nerd_Dad (Dec 23, 2021)

besko said:


> Yes, you all were right. There is another man. I'ts been going on for a few months and she has seen him several time. I pieced the things together from call logs etc.I secretly started the recording on my phone and confronted her about it. She admitted. Will this hold up in divorce court is my biggest questions. I also have other evidence of her buying him gifts, expensive dinning in areas where he lives etc.


Sorry to hear this. I am sure it is hard and I can empathize with you. I don't know if discovering an affair makes it easier or not, legally or emotionally. But, keep in mind if your STBX had an affair, that is not your fault. She is just a terrible person. So you are better off without such a terrible person in your life (though, right may not will not feel way). 

No matter what, please surround yourself with friends and family that you trust. That is something I sorely wish I had, but I do not have anyone around for me (my mom, dad, and 2 of my close friends all died in a span of 11 months with my mom passing away just a few weeks before my Ex dropped the divorce news on me) and I was not thinking clearly and my Ex cleaned me out (she got our $600k/ house, kept the more expensive car, all of the jewelry, furniture, electronics, etc.) and I walked off with just my clothes and $25k in cash after 22 years. So be cautious and don't let your STBX clean you out because they absolutely will -- they will do their best to castrate you. So surround yourself with people who will fight for you. 

In addition, focus on the messages from the men as they are the ones who will be able to give you the most pertinent input and provide you the support you really need.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

besko said:


> Yes, you all were right. There is another man. I'ts been going on for a few months and she has seen him several time. I pieced the things together from call logs etc.I secretly started the recording on my phone and confronted her about it. She admitted. Will this hold up in divorce court is my biggest questions. I also have other evidence of her buying him gifts, expensive dinning in areas where he lives etc.


Sorry , but now you know and can get out of this relationship and move in to being haooy


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

That’s not surprising. Sorry to hear that. It’s best to follow your lawyers advice. Not confronting would have been best to gather admissible evidence if it counts in your state. Obviously reconciliation is out the window.


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## Annonymous Joe (9 mo ago)

Sorry to hear it man, but be glad you had a lot of posters here pointing you into this direction. Now you have the evidence. though probably would have been better to wait until you spoke to the lawyer before saying anything to her, but what is done is now done. Do not provide her with any additional information you have collected. Good that you are speaking to a lawyer this week. Do not, I repeat, do NOT talk to her about anything but the children. It sounds crazy, but just assume she is casing the joint for things she wants or recording anything you say. If she was this far ahead of you, who knows what else she has been compiling. Be glad that she hasn't cleaned out any joint accounts, so be smart. The cheating doesn't make it any easier, but immediately start 180 and do not give her any leverage at all. She's clearly a selfish person, a horrible mother, and an overall dirtball. She is your enemy now, assume as such, because she 100% has AP in her ear about taking what she can from you. Also, talk to a therapist immediately to guide you through the process. I assure you she will try to manipulate you and try to pin this all on you; she's in the affair fog. In time, this will work itself out, but it's going to be hard for a while. Be patient.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Just let her go, without any fuss.

If you run into the other man. Calmly, thank him for taking her off your hands.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

You hold all the cards. Look after your own financial interests. Don't let her guilt you into taking the financial hit.


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## Exit37 (3 mo ago)

besko said:


> Yep, day after the holiday, I have an appointment first thing in the AM


This is awful, but start the hard 180, see your lawyer and follow his/her advice to a T. You will get through this.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Exit37 said:


> This is awful, but start the hard 180, see your lawyer and follow his/her advice to a T. You will get through this.


Speaking from experience, there will be times when it is so hard to even make it through the day but in the end it is so worth it.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


besko said:



Another thing I didn't mention. She went on a Cruise in November with her 2 friends (also married) and partied like an animal. She spent over $5,000 not including the cost of the cruise. There was a over a $1,000 in just booze. In hindsight, that was the turning point.

Click to expand...

*She sounds like a real prize. I can see why you'd want to keep her. 🤪🤪

OP, find your damned dignity. It's like you're willing to let this woman **** all over you as long as she comes home to YOU in the end. You seriously need to find your self-respect and your pride, and you need to stop settling for so darned little. Jeez.

*ETA:* Just read that Miss Thang has been cheating (not a surprise) and that's why she wants out. She's actually stupid enough to think she was going to leave you, get to live on her own and let *you* take on the lion's share of supporting her lying ass all while she works part-time and entertains her boyfriend the rest of the time. What a giant assclown you married.

Find yourself a blood-thirsty shark, OP. A blood-thirsty shark who will have no mercy on her at all. I saw the Alienation of Affection lawsuit mentioned earlier in this thread - I believe these are the 8 states who still have this law on their books: Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota and Utah. If you live in one of these states, that would be supreme karma to hit her boyfriend with an Alienation of Affection lawsuit. My old boss had an expression he used (he was in sales): "if you can't get the sale, pi*ss in the punchbowl." 

In other words, your marriage may be toast but at least you get to ruin this guy's day in the process.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

Being in an at fault state, I'd be out to leave her with nothing but her clothing and toiletries when the dust is settled.


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## Amanhasnoname (Apr 1, 2021)

besko said:


> I gave her the blessing for the cruise with her friends. i did not give her the blessing to spend $5k while on a 5 day cruise. She used her CC so I never knew until she came back. She then expected me to pay it off and fool me I did.


If I were you I would inform her that she will be immediately refunding that money to you. 
The absolute disrespectul, bare faced, brazen arrogance of this woman is breath taking.

She actually expected you to pay for her to go off and have a great time with her boyfriend?

It looks to me she paid for all his share too, by the size of the bill she knocked up. Are you sure she went with girlfriends, or was it just him?
Let her know that this is just the start of the repayments she will be making, and you will be doing a forensic search of all the money of yours she has spent whilst splurging on her disgusting affair.

It's plain you're just a nice guy and she's taken advantage of that.
You need to stop that mindset right now. Don't beg or plead or show any weakness whatsoever to her, get angry, get furious and give her hell...she deserves it.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

besko said:


> Yes, you all were right. There is another man. I'ts been going on for a few months and she has seen him several time. I pieced the things together from call logs etc.I secretly started the recording on my phone and confronted her about it. She admitted. Will this hold up in divorce court is my biggest questions. I also have other evidence of her buying him gifts, expensive dinning in areas where he lives etc.


Was it someone from the cruise? Or.... is it possible it was this guy, and not some gf's, that she went on the cruise with? @besko


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Woman leaves = affair?


Lol - folks here have seen it so many times. Yep they were spot on, even given the paucity of initial info.


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## Exit37 (3 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> Was it someone from the cruise? Or.... is it possible it was this guy, and not some gf's, that she went on the cruise with? @besko


If that's the case he'll want to tell his lawyer, that entire expense can get deducted from her "half" of the marital estate. Spending big bucks on your affair partner is a no-no and will not go over well in divorce court, if it comes to that.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

". Will this hold up in divorce court is my biggest questions. I also have other evidence of her buying him gifts, expensive dinning in areas where he lives etc. "
Yeah her expenses that she spent on the affair should come out of HER side of any settlement.
Also, as for your recording her admitting to the affair -- it depends entirely on what state you live in.
If SHE was not aware of the recording, then it will only be legal if you live in a 1-party recording state (YOU are the 1 party of the conversation, and she is the two in the covo). If you live in a 2-party state, it will NOT be legal to use.
BUT bring this all up with your lawyer -- SUPER important, and follow their advice.


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## besko (21 d ago)

jlg07 said:


> ". Will this hold up in divorce court is my biggest questions. I also have other evidence of her buying him gifts, expensive dinning in areas where he lives etc. "
> Yeah her expenses that she spent on the affair should come out of HER side of any settlement.
> Also, as for your recording her admitting to the affair -- it depends entirely on what state you live in.
> If SHE was not aware of the recording, then it will only be legal if you live in a 1-party recording state (YOU are the 1 party of the conversation, and she is the two in the covo). If you live in a 2-party state, it will NOT be legal to use.
> BUT bring this all up with your lawyer -- SUPER important, and follow their advice.


I am in South Carolina which is a 1 party state so it will count. There is ton of evidence to support what she admitted to - text messages, Amazon orders, text messages with her friends, conversations with her father (he told me), credit card charges for a hotel that is 10 mins from my house while I was away on business etc.

Thanks for all the support.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

besko said:


> I am in South Carolina which is a 1 party state so it will count. There is ton of evidence to support what she admitted to - text messages, Amazon orders, text messages with her friends, conversations with her father (he told me), credit card charges for a hotel that is 10 mins from my house while I was away on business etc.
> 
> Thanks for all the support.


Nuke her!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Please find the most vicious attorney known to man and have no mercy. And yes, I’d hire a forensic accountant


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

besko said:


> I am in South Carolina which is a 1 party state so it will count. There is ton of evidence to support what she admitted to - text messages, Amazon orders, text messages with her friends, conversations with her father (he told me), credit card charges for a hotel that is 10 mins from my house while I was away on business etc.
> 
> Thanks for all the support.


Good Luck. Hope you follow your lawyers advice.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I just looked it up and Adultery DOES make a difference in S. Carolina:









How Do SC Adultery Laws Affect Your Divorce? | Elliott Frazier


Adultery is frequently mentioned as a reason for divorce, but does it have any impact on the settlement? Contact us now!




elliottfrazierlaw.com


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## Amanhasnoname (Apr 1, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> I just looked it up and Adultery DOES make a difference in S. Carolina:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yipppeee! 
Thanks for posting this jlg...that's warmed the cockles of my heart that has. 
Some well earned retribution coming her way hopefully.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Again, this is ALL from the net -- OP, PLEASE make sure you get with a good lawyer to review all this!


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