# Being Hit On



## heartsbeating

Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


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## TXTrini

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


Are you sure? 

I never noticed when I was married, bc I didn't expect or encourage it. I thought men were just being nice to me because people in general are. Some men approached me when I was out... in the grocery, hardware, plant shop etc even when I wore my ring (sometimes especially I forgot). 

Before anyone gets butthurt, my ex didn't always wear his ring, so I figured what was good for the goose was good for the gander.


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## Blondilocks

Believe it or not, I do get hit on occassionally. Even though I'm widowed I still wear my wedding rings. I have a standard reply - No. I don't care if they know I'm widowed, I still have my rings on and would never accept a date with a guy who would hit on a woman wearing wedding rings. WTH are they thinking?


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## Numb26

Blondilocks said:


> Believe it or not, I do get hit on occassionally. Even though I'm widowed I still wear my wedding rings. I have a standard reply - No. I don't care if they know I'm widowed, I still have my rings on and would never accept a date with a guy who would hit on a woman wearing wedding rings. WTH are they thinking?


Easy to tell what they are thinking. If it didn't work there would be no need for TAM.


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## farsidejunky

It used to happen often when I was in my 20's.

In my 30's it happened periodically.

Now in my mid 40's, I can't remember the last time it happened...maybe 2 years ago. 

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## heartsbeating

TXTrini said:


> Are you sure?
> 
> I never noticed when I was married, bc I didn't expect or encourage it. I thought men were just being nice to me because people in general are. Some men approached me when I was out... in the grocery, hardware, plant shop etc even when I wore my ring (sometimes especially I forgot).
> 
> Before anyone gets butthurt, my ex didn't always wear his ring, so I figured what was good for the goose was good for the gander.


You mentioned the grocery store. I tend to go early morning when there's hardly anyone there, move quickly, and really only speak with the staff as customer service interactions. Last time I was at the hardware store, the owner indicated to another customer that he'd help with his query after first serving the beautiful woman who'd been patiently waiting (meaning me). That was just his style of customer service, nothing in it. Purchased my items, and on my way. And I only recall that moment due to why I was there in the first place. No interaction with anyone else occurred.

In other words, yes, I'm sure. 

How have you been approached in places such as the grocery store?


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## Luckylucky

You might be surprised, you may be hit on and you don’t know it.

It happens to me, I seem to get a lot of men trying to help me. Sometimes a husband’s friend might make a teasing remark and I’ve had some downright inappropriate comments from his friends. They get silence and a stare so bad I think they fear me a bit.

Or just generally a male can approach when I’m buying a coffee or doing shopping. I mean really, is there a need to strike up a conversation when I’m pushing a trolley?? 

I never even have to say, ‘I’m married’, I’m just very rude and don’t engage and walk off. They don’t need to know I’m married or anything personal at all. The men that approach and try to help me just get a firm, ‘No I don’t need help’ in a tone that makes them scurry away.

I don’t like the attention, I don’t seek it, and I don’t get a spring in my step thinking ‘I’ve still got it. I feel a bit sad when it happens to be honest. Almost unclean. Flattery really does nothing for me. (Except when my husband flatters me, that makes me feel invincible!!)

Sometimes in social situations, a man will be with his wife and direct most of the conversations to me, and beside him is a gorgeous wife just sitting there being ignored. I move, or start ignoring him and then start a conversation with his wife if I’m unable to get up.

I don’t care that I’m being rude, I’m not a rude person to my kids and husband. I’ve got plenty of energy for them and aim to give them my best. I won’t give my best to others, no way. I’m sure a lot of people will stand at my grave and say ‘she was a stuck up little bee’. I don’t feel bad at all that I’m not very nice to most men. I don’t hate men, I just remove myself from situations where a small interaction could upset my husband.

You hear stories of people saying how their wife is consoling the poor neighbour and she can’t find it in her heart to be mean to him. But the husband is working hard and feeling little and small because wife is so busy bringing food to sad neighbour. And she’s got nothing left for him when he comes home and she can’t listen to his day at work stories because neighbour’s texting about another issue. She’s just so nice! (But she’s not, she loves the feeling of being the little saviour, the nice lady that helps people).

It’s totally ok to offend people and go home and be nice to your loved ones. Maybe not ok to slap a man who says things your husband would deck him for, because who’d believe the woman’s version. Just be a lady and exit quickly.


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## TXTrini

heartsbeating said:


> You mentioned the grocery store. I tend to go early morning when there's hardly anyone there, move quickly, and really only speak with the staff as regular customer service interactions. Last time I was at the hardware store, the owner indicated to another customer that he'd help with his query after first serving the beautiful woman who'd been patiently waiting (meaning me). That was just his style of customer service, nothing in it. Purchased my items, and on my way. And I only recall that moment due to why I was there in the first place. No interaction with anyone else occurred.
> 
> In other words, yes, I'm sure.
> 
> How have you been approached in places such as the grocery store?


Some dude came over and commented about my "exotic looks" and asked where I was from. Unfortunately I was on the ground trying to reach some mayo on the last shelf all the way in the back, so I was a captive audience until my exH showed up. 

Another time, I was in the checkout line and some guy started asking about my cheese. 

A few months ago, a guy who worked at the hardware touched my hand when I was asking for advice about what sealant to buy for my chimney. Then after I said no worries, kept touching me until I scurried off.


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## Luckylucky

TXTrini said:


> Some dude came over and commented about my "exotic looks" and asked where I was from. Unfortunately I was on the ground trying to reach some mayo on the last shelf all the way in the back, so I was a captive audience until my exH showed up.
> 
> Another time, I was in the checkout line and some guy started asking about my cheese.
> 
> A few months ago, a guy who worked at the hardware touched my hand when I was asking for advice about what sealant to buy for my chimney. Then after I said no worries, kept touching me until I scurried off.


Lady they are hitting on you big time! 😜


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## Luckylucky

.


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## heartsbeating

TXTrini said:


> Some dude came over and commented about my "exotic looks" and asked where I was from. Unfortunately I was on the ground trying to reach some mayo on the last shelf all the way in the back, so I was a captive audience until my exH showed up.
> 
> Another time, I was in the checkout line and some guy started asking about my cheese.
> 
> A few months ago, a guy who worked at the hardware touched my hand when I was asking for advice about what sealant to buy for my chimney. Then after I said no worries, kept touching me until I scurried off.


The mention of asking about cheese... 

WTF with touching your hand (and kept touching you) at the hardware store.


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## TXTrini

Luckylucky said:


> Lady they are hitting on you big time! 😜


I was surprised, bc the hardware dude looked young, so I couldn't think he'd be interested in an old lady 😆 (I'm at least 10% grey, haven't dyed it yet)

Anyway, it could be that people are dying for social interaction since we're no longer on lockdown and few people wear masks where I'm at. 



Luckylucky said:


> The other one I always get is ‘are you Russian?’
> 
> And then I know what they’re thinking straight away and my blood pressure rises. 😟


Mail order bride? Yeah, I had a doctor ask me that years ago. A female...


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## heartsbeating

Luckylucky said:


> Or just generally a male can approach when I’m buying a coffee or doing shopping. I mean really, is there a need to strike up a conversation when I’m pushing a trolley??


I can't relate to your post and which is why I'm so nosy about it.

While I know you're shutting down interactions, what kind of conversation is trying to be sparked when you're buying coffee or grocery shopping?


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## TXTrini

heartsbeating said:


> The mention of asking about cheese...
> 
> WTF with touching your hand (and kept touching you) at the hardware store.


It was so odd, I remembered! To be fair, I like good cheese, so maybe the contents of my basket were noteworthy. 

It was furtive little touches, but I didn't feel threatened. What was I going to do? Make a scene and it turn out to be nothing?

I've been hugged by random strangers since I was a kid, even when they thought I was a little boy, so it's not a big deal. I grew up in a culture where people are touchy feely.


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## heartsbeating

TXTrini said:


> It was so odd, I remembered! To be fair, I like good cheese, so maybe the contents of my basket were noteworthy.
> 
> It was furtive little touches, but I didn't feel threatened. What was I going to do? Make a scene and it turn out to be nothing?
> 
> I've been hugged by random strangers since I was a kid, even when they thought I was a little boy, so it's not a big deal. I grew up in a culture where people are touchy feely.


Maybe those furtive little touches have worked their magic on other women visiting the store.


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## TXTrini

heartsbeating said:


> Maybe those furtive little touches have worked their magic on other women visiting the store.


No clue.


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## Luckylucky

TXTrini said:


> I was surprised, bc the hardware dude looked young, so I couldn't think he'd be interested in an old lady 😆 (I'm at least 10% grey, haven't dyed it yet)
> 
> Anyway, it could be that people are dying for social interaction since we're no longer on lockdown and few people wear masks where I'm at.
> 
> 
> Mail order bride? Yeah, I had a doctor ask me that years ago. A female...


Yeah, I feel like meat, not even human. 😔

But I know women who absolutely swoon when they get attention 🤷🏻‍♀️


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## bobert

All my wife has to do is leave the house. It's not like it happens every single time she's out but it happens at the grocery store, gas station, just walking down the street, dropping the kids off at school, at the kid's extracurriculars, walking the dog, etc. In the past, she was hit on daily at work, at the gym, etc. and I'm sure she still would be but she no longer works/goes to the gym. She isn't wearing rings now but was in the past, didn't matter. She can be out with the kids and/or pregnant, doesn't matter. She doesn't enjoy being hit on so she's super awkward and shuts down the interaction with her awkwardness or by ignoring the guy.

I do get hit on but not nearly as often. Well, it used to happen all the time when I was in a band. Aside from that, most of it I'm oblivious to and someone else points it out later. It's mainly happened in bars and at work. Wedding ring didn't matter.


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## manowar

TXTrini said:


> in the grocery, hardware, plant shop etc



I never do this.... waste of time as a guy. I really don't hit on ladies much. I'd have to really be moved which is pretty rare. I am however receptive to being hit on and will reverse the interaction very quickly if I'm into it. A while back a lady came up to me in the Dr's office and asked to buy me coffee. I declined though. Still, catch the lookers checking me out in the grocery store. that's fun. Caught one the other day. My ex gf still gets emotional. that's pretty cool.


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## TXTrini

Luckylucky said:


> Yeah, I feel like meat, not even human. 😔
> 
> But I know women who absolutely swoon when they get attention 🤷🏻‍♀️


Yeah, it's very uncomfortable, especially as a married woman, but how else are dudes supposed to pick up chicks?

One time my exHs employee/casual friend asked him to wife swap when we went to his birthday party. At the time, I was too shocked to asked why he even told me about it instead of flattening him. 

Interestingly, he got friendly with another swapper in the last few years of our marriage. I refused to visit his home, bc I wasn't going to someone's house to disrespect them.


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## TXTrini

manowar said:


> I never do this.... waste of time as a guy. I really don't hit on ladies much. I'd have to really be moved which is pretty rare. I am however receptive to being hit on and will reverse the interaction very quickly if I'm into it. A while back a lady came up to me in the Dr's office and asked to buy me coffee. I declined though. Still, catch the lookers checking me out in the grocery store. that's fun. Caught one the other day. My ex gf still gets emotional. that's pretty cool.


😆 I wonder if dudes think I'm hitting on them when I tell everyone good morning when I come face to face or smile/nod in passing. 

I guess I don't take anything less than being asked out seriously. All that other stuff is harmless flirting or acknowledgement of someone's humanity and existence.


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## heartsbeating

While Batman wasn't being hit on, I did notice or perceive that when he was placing a take-out order from a restaurant the other day, on speaker phone, the woman taking the order seemed to adjust her voice to a more sexy tone. I pointed this out afterwards. He hadn't noticed. Okay, admittedly then I was mimicking what I'd perceived. He responded that he didn't know what was happening but not to be jelly baby. I relayed that based on his voice, I couldn't blame her.


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## manowar

TXTrini said:


> I wonder if dudes think I'm hitting on them when I tell everyone good morning




No I dont think so. Just saying hello or whatever. Do you look back though? Now that's a whole different thing. If I get that double take from someone-- ok game on lol. If you aren't into the guy -- dont look back whatever you do.


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## Married but Happy

My wife would get hit on frequently at her work in medical offices. She was assertive in shutting them down, and if they persisted, she could ensure they were banned from returning to that office. No one ever physically pushed her boundaries, which is fortunate for them as she is a black belt (and was usually wielding a needle or scalpel as well).


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## TXTrini

heartsbeating said:


> While Batman wasn't being hit on, I did notice or perceive that when he was placing a take-out order from a restaurant the other day, on speaker phone, the woman taking the order seemed to adjust her voice to a more sexy tone. I pointed this out afterwards. He hadn't noticed. Okay, admittedly then I was mimicking what I'd perceived. He responded that he didn't know what was happening but not to be jelly baby. I relayed that based on his voice, I couldn't blame her.


I can't say I blame her, a sexy voice really does a number on me! 



manowar said:


> No I dont think so. Just saying hello or whatever. Do you look back though? Now that's a whole different thing. If I get that double take from someone-- ok game on lol. If you aren't into the guy -- dont look back whatever you do.


I don't think so, though if I'm not wearing my glasses out of vanity, all bets are off 😆. Thanks for the heads-up!


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## farsidejunky

Sorry, ladies. Just realized this was in your lounge. 

The drawback to using Tapatalk is you don't readily see the categories, just the title. 

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## Openminded

I married very young and apparently I was more naive than I should have been because I thought my wedding ring would keep interlopers away. It didn’t. And when my husband was around to witness it, he just tended to ignore it but I think the majority of that sort of thing happened at work rather than a social setting although there was enough of that too. Now I’m divorced so being approached doesn’t annoy me the way it did when I was married. I’m (usually) still not interested but I’m nicer about it now. Different game.


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## TXTrini

Openminded said:


> I married very young and apparently I was more naive than I should have been because I thought my wedding ring would keep interlopers away. It didn’t. And when my husband was around to witness it, he just tended to ignore it but I think the majority of that sort of thing happened at work rather than a social setting although there was enough of that too. Especially when alcohol was involved (a work-related freezing fall picnic in Scandinavia, with people I had respected suddenly acting like idiots, is burned into my memory).
> 
> I always dressed very modestly — nothing ever on display — and I didn’t drink; in general I’m a very understated person. But the number of extremely weird stories, involving men and women both, still make me shake my head. The one when I was in the hospital for 24 hour antibiotic observation, and couldn’t shower and couldn’t eat, might take the prize for overall weirdness. I later asked the nurse if there was morphine added to my drip, and maybe I dreamed all of that, but it was real.
> 
> Now I’m divorced so being approached doesn’t annoy me the way it did when I was married. I’m (usually) still not interested but I’m nicer about it now. Different game.


The work one is shocking, isn't it? I can't understand where people find the time! Were you hit on in the hospital???

I might have sexually harassed a really hot dental surgeon once under anesthesia 😆


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## heartsbeating

farsidejunky said:


> Sorry, ladies. Just realized this was in your lounge.
> 
> The drawback to using Tapatalk is you don't readily see the categories, just the title.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


While I nominated it for the Ladies Lounge, all are welcome to post in my book.


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## Anastasia6

Well it’s been a while but a few years back I started a new job and had one being overly friendly and invited me to coffee. 

I don’t go out without my husband much so I don’t have these problems anymore.


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## pastasauce79

I got hit on last weekend. I didn't know until my husband pointed it out. Lol! 

We went out to a bar with live music. My husband stayed in the back while my friend and I got closer to the band. This band has an older following, people in their 40's, 50's, and 60's. 3 older men started talking to me. I just thought they were drunk and friendly until my husband joined me and started talking to one of them. Later my husband said he wanted the guy to stop hitting on me. I had no clue. I thought the guy was friendly. 

Maybe my husband was overreacting? I don't know!


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## TXTrini

pastasauce79 said:


> I got hit on last weekend. I didn't know until my husband pointed it out. Lol!
> 
> We went out to a bar with live music. My husband stayed in the back while my friend and I got closer to the band. This band has an older following, people in their 40's, 50's, and 60's. 3 older men started talking to me. I just thought they were drunk and friendly until my husband joined me and started talking to one of them. Later my husband said he wanted the guy to stop hitting on me. I had no clue. I thought the guy was friendly.
> 
> Maybe my husband was overreacting? I don't know!


Aww, but then you get to lovebomb your hubs and tell him you only have eyes for him 💘


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## pastasauce79

TXTrini said:


> Aww, but then you get to lovebomb your hubs and tell him you only have eyes for him 💘


I definitely love bombed him later that night.


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## DownByTheRiver

TXTrini said:


> 😆 I wonder if dudes think I'm hitting on them when I tell everyone good morning when I come face to face or smile/nod in passing.
> 
> I guess I don't take anything less than being asked out seriously. All that other stuff is harmless flirting or acknowledgement of someone's humanity and existence.


I was just sitting here reading all the responses when I started hoping that people don't think I'm hitting on them every time I'm friendly out in public, because I'm very friendly and talkative in public.


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## TXTrini

DownByTheRiver said:


> I was just sitting here reading all the responses when I started hoping that people don't think I'm hitting on them every time I'm friendly out in public, because I'm very friendly and talkative in public.


Awww, what's the worst that could happen?


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## DownByTheRiver

TXTrini said:


> Awww, what's the worst that could happen?


Well, I just don't want to make anybody uncomfortable.


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## Openminded

TXTrini said:


> The work one is shocking, isn't it? I can't understand where people find the time! Were you hit on in the hospital???
> 
> I might have sexually harassed a really hot dental surgeon once under anesthesia 😆


Oddly, yes and, believe me, I was at my worst in appearance and general behavior. That was why I was sure morphine must have been involved but it wasn’t.


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## ConanHub

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well, I just don't want to make anybody uncomfortable.


You shameless hussy you!😋


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## heartsbeating

DownByTheRiver said:


> I was just sitting here reading all the responses when I started hoping that people don't think I'm hitting on them every time I'm friendly out in public, because I'm very friendly and talkative in public.


Both Batman and I are more on the extroverted side, and within general settings he is a good conversationalist and takes interest in people. Whereas in those same settings, I'm more transactional.

In saying that, I'd been to a coffee spot a handful of times, in my usual respectful but transactional style. Until I walked in wearing a music-related t-shirt. I placed my order and the owner replied, 'Wearing that, you can have whatever you want!' and a short conversation about music ensued. Next time I walked in, he quickly changed the music to match my shirt. We spoke more about music and in that context, he shared about dating his wife, concerts they'd attended together and such. Obviously none of that is flirtatious or being hit on, just pleasant and friendly interactions. Thought you might appreciate that kind of interaction @DownByTheRiver


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## DownByTheRiver

Yeah, that's making friends!


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## heartsbeating

DownByTheRiver said:


> Yeah, that's making friends!


Well, I don't know about that...  but I'll certainly take my coffee with a dash of good music!
Granted, it's not my core regular spot.


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## DownByTheRiver

heartsbeating said:


> Well, I don't know about that...  but I'll certainly take my coffee with a dash of good music!
> Granted, it's not my core regular spot.


Sounds fun to me.


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## frusdil

The last time I was hit on was earlier this year, and by a woman believe it or not! We were at a wedding, and I was at the bar getting drinks for hubby and I when she approached me. I said I was flattered but straight and married. She apologised, said she'd been watching me walk across the dance floor earlier and that I have a certain sex appeal about me! It was my dress - it was a knockout, everyone went crazy over it, lol!

Hubby said I should have asked for her number 🤦‍♀️


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## Diana7

TXTrini said:


> 😆 I wonder if dudes think I'm hitting on them when I tell everyone good morning when I come face to face or smile/nod in passing.
> 
> I guess I don't take anything less than being asked out seriously. All that other stuff is harmless flirting or acknowledgement of someone's humanity and existence.


I am the same. I always like to be friendly to people when I am out and about. A smile, a good morning/ afternoon, chatting to people who work in shops/cafés, for many it's the way they are and it cheers people up. 
All completely innocent.


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## Luckylucky

Openminded said:


> Oddly, yes — twice in a 24 hour period and, believe me, I was at my worst in appearance and general behavior. That was why I was sure morphine must have been involved but it wasn’t.
> 
> The first one was a surgeon sent by my GP. He was arrogant but gorgeous and I enjoyed sending him on his way (one of my husband’s surgeons, also arrogant and gorgeous, did something similar when he was supposed to be giving me an update). What is it with arrogant, gorgeous surgeons; maybe it’s the God complex plus they know they’re gorgeous and they feel they can do whatever they please.
> 
> The second one was a very pleasant woman who wandered into my room by mistake. That was the really weird one that caused me to question the nurse since I don’t remember anything like that happening ever so I was sure I had dreamed it because it still makes no sense. Maybe she had issues. In any event, I feel I must have an invisible tattoo on my forehead that says “weirdos welcome”.


Wowsers


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## Openminded

Luckylucky said:


> Wowsers, I remember a medical incident when my daughter was sick. I had medical thing of my own happening at the time and couldn’t fill out a form so I explained myself. The specialist, in front of my husband and kids said, ‘omg, me too! We should go together to get it seen too!’ 😳😳😳
> 
> I actually froze. Couldn’t believe it!! My husband to this day mentions it whenever I need to go to the gp, ‘Maybe you should go with that rich specialist’.
> 
> My husband was fuming, and all 3 kids were stunned.
> 
> This one wasn’t gorgeous either!


Doctors (especially) never cease to amaze me — and not necessarily in a good way.


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## TXTrini

Diana7 said:


> I am the same. I always like to be friendly to people when I am out and about. A smile, a good morning/ afternoon, chatting to people who work in shops/cafés, for many it's the way they are and it cheers people up.
> All completely innocent.


I'm at least polite, it's basic manners. Sometimes though I'm not above hiding if I'm feeling particularly hermitlike. 



Openminded said:


> Doctors (especially) never cease to amaze me — and not necessarily in a good way.


The only bad experience I've had was with female doctors. One asked me if I was a mail order bride, another asked kept nagging me to have babies and another mentioned she'd have sterilized me if she knew I wasn't going to have children...

The male doctors have been at worst blunt (I prefer) to kind and fatherly.


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## QuietRiot

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


Homeless men find me irresistible. They were the only ones that really hit on me while I was wearing my rings. And now I haven’t worn my rings in over a year… I was hit on 2 times… by guess who? I mean, To be fair I don’t really get out without my kids too often. Perhaps if I did I’d have tons more homeless men hitting on me. Who knows! 

Nothing against the housing challenged. Just stating the facts.


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## MarmiteC

I cannot honestly remember the last time I was hit on. I just assume everything is politeness.


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## Yoni

Maybe I am getting old I use to be think getting hit on someone soo cool. But if now days if that happen I feel so cheap myself it's like "do I look so cheap? Who the hell r u hit on me lol


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## In Absentia

I got hit on by a 70 year old woman in the park a couple of months ago... she said I looked lovely in my shorts...


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## Diana7

MarmiteC said:


> I cannot honestly remember the last time I was hit on. I just assume everything is politeness.


Absolutely, or in some cases possibly wishful thinking on the part of the one 'hit' on?

When we were dating in our late 40's, my neighbour told me that her daughter, who was in her 30's then, said 'if all Aussie men look like that I want one for myself'. My husband jokingly said, 'clearly a women of impecable taste'. We laughed about it.


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## Numb26

Yesterday


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## joannacroc

Not recently. I don't go many places except running, work, son's' school and events etc. and occasionally dinner with friends though.


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## MarmiteC

Unless the octogenarian who stopped me in the supermarket last week to enquire about the spanish tortilla I had in my trolley counts....


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## joannacroc

I find a reaction in my neighborhood to a courteous hello how are you as you are passing to be odd. If the people are older than me than they typically do the same back. A lot of younger people don't even acknowledge that I said anything. It never occured to me but could saying hello come aross as creepy? Or hitting on them? Oh dear...


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## In Absentia

Only 3 weeks ago at a busy London airport, I was waiting for my bag to be security-checked and I started talking to this man next to me. He said he was from Turkey, blah blah blah... then he said he really liked my glasses... they suited my personality...  

Of course then my laptop tested positive for explosives...


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## Diana7

joannacroc said:


> I find a reaction in my neighborhood to a courteous hello how are you as you are passing to be odd. If the people are older than me than they typically do the same back. A lot of younger people don't even acknowledge that I said anything. It never occured to me but could saying hello come aross as creepy? Or hitting on them? Oh dear...


I hope not because I do that loads!


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## Diana7

In Absentia said:


> Only 3 weeks ago at a busy London airport, I was waiting for my bag to be security-checked and I started talking to this man next to me. He said he was from Turkey, blah blah blah... then he said he really liked my glasses... they suited my personality...
> 
> Of course then my laptop tested positive for explosives...


I commented to a lady recently that I liked her jacket, it was just me wanting to be nice.


----------



## BigDaddyNY

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


Has a man talked to you? Then you've been hit on


----------



## In Absentia

Diana7 said:


> I commented to a lady recently that I liked her jacket, it was just me wanting to be nice.


I think the man was being nice to me... he just wanted a chat. Us Southern Europeans (I guess a bit of Turkey is in Europe) are open and friendly people, you know?


----------



## Diana7

BigDaddyNY said:


> Has a man talked to you? Then you've been hit on





In Absentia said:


> I think the man was being nice to me... he just wanted a chat. Us Southern Europeans (I guess a bit of Turkey is in Europe) are open and friendly people, you know?


Yes cultures are very different around the world arent they when it comes to how they relate to others.


----------



## ccpowerslave

joannacroc said:


> I find a reaction in my neighborhood to a courteous hello how are you as you are passing to be odd. If the people are older than me than they typically do the same back. A lot of younger people don't even acknowledge that I said anything. It never occured to me but could saying hello come aross as creepy? Or hitting on them? Oh dear...


Hahaha. I was doing TRX in the park and a guy jogged by and said hi to an older couple as he passed, they were scared of him. He shouted back, I don’t have Covid you can say hi back. So I shouted at him, “Hi good morning!” He jogged back to where I was and said thank you, you just made my day. This was probably around May when people started coming out after getting vaccinated and the guy was probably a shut in.

I wasn’t hitting on him.


----------



## D0nnivain

I don't remember the last time I was hit on. That is a deliberate thing, designed to get a date or a ONS. It's also a step above what I characterize as general, sort of, G / PG flirting which happens all the time. I'm an admittedly flirty girl. It's relatively harmless & everybody knows where the lines you don't cross are. This flirty thing is also a step above just basic human interaction / being friendly. It's all different levels & shades on a sliding scale but being 'hit on" is a bridge too far. Fortunately it's pretty easy to make & enforce your own boundaries.


----------



## BigDaddyNY

Hate to say it, but I've been hit on by way more men than women over the years. When I was in my late teens we lived just a couple doors down from a gay bar, had a couple neighbors in our building that were gay and I worked for a while at a place with many gay employees. I got hit on at least weekly from the time I was 16 till I left when I was 19. I sure would have had a much easier time getting laid if I were homosexual.


----------



## staceymj86

I look younger than I am so I’m getting hit on all the time, even though I wear my engagement ring all the time. No matter what I wear or how my hair is done it happens constantly. I work more than I go anywhere so that’s where it constantly happens. I’m not a people person, but I do speak back and let men know I’m unavailable and if they keep pressing that I have 8 kids with 6 different fathers. It don’t help that my daughter is a carbon copy of me, just a shade darker than me.


----------



## Diana7

staceymj86 said:


> I look younger than I am so I’m getting hit on all the time, even though I wear my engagement ring all the time. No matter what I wear or how my hair is done it happens constantly. I work more than I go anywhere so that’s where it constantly happens. I’m not a people person, but I do speak back and let men know I’m unavailable and if they keep pressing that I have 8 kids with 6 different fathers. It don’t help that my daughter is a carbon copy of me, just a shade darker than me.


I dont think it's only young people this happens too.


----------



## Diana7

BigDaddyNY said:


> Hate to say it, but I've been hit on by way more men than women over the years. When I was in my late teens we lived just a couple doors down from a gay bar, had a couple neighbors in our building that were gay and I worked for a while at a place with many gay employees. I got hit on at least weekly from the time I was 16 till I left when I was 19. I sure would have had a much easier time getting laid if I were homosexual.


One of my husband's friends is a hairdresser and has quite a few gay friends. Some years back one of them who had met my husband said to the friend that he really fancied him(my husband). Friend replied that he had no chance and that he was VERY straight.


----------



## gr8ful1

Just a few months ago I experienced the first time in my life someone buying me a drink at a bar. I’m obviously no Brad Pitt lol, although for fun someone here named one of those face scoring webapps and I scored 77% 🤷. Shows you those things are ********! 

My wife was out of town for the night so I went to a place on the key here to have dinner. Bartender slides another beer to me and I’m like wtf? He says the lady across the bar bought this for you (with a very sheepish grin on his face). Turns out she’s more than 20 years older than me with coke-bottle glasses and her daughter had put her up to it. Told her thanks but I’m married. Still can‘t tell who was more embarrassed - her or me lol.

My wife did get a kick out of that story.


----------



## Cletus

TXTrini said:


> 😆 I wonder if dudes think I'm hitting on them when I tell everyone good morning when I come face to face or smile/nod in passing.
> 
> I guess I don't take anything less than being asked out seriously. All that other stuff is harmless flirting or acknowledgement of someone's humanity and existence.


I really wish I had a magic decoder ring that would tell me who is being hit upon and who only thinks it. I suspect we have some here who think exactly like you're supposing, and it ain't the women folk.


----------



## Anastasia6

Diana7 said:


> I dont think it's only young people this happens too.


Maybe not but I did get hit on a lot more when I was younger. I"m an outgoing type and that seems to attract males. Large breasts don't hurt either.

I go out less with Covid and all the shopping is done with my husband so now the 'opportunites' are less but face it as we age. Men hit on the younger ones more.


----------



## Benbutton

heartsbeating said:


> While Batman wasn't being hit on, I did notice or perceive that when he was placing a take-out order from a restaurant the other day, on speaker phone, the woman taking the order seemed to adjust her voice to a more sexy tone. I pointed this out afterwards. He hadn't noticed. Okay, admittedly then I was mimicking what I'd perceived. He responded that he didn't know what was happening but not to be jelly baby. I relayed that based on his voice, I couldn't blame her.


My wife let's me know when women are flirting with me or checking me out. If it wasn't for her observations I wouldn't have had a clue unless it was obvious. My wife has also told me it's a good thing I pursued her, because I would never have realized she had a thing for me as she's not the type to be forward with men.


----------



## staceymj86

Diana7 said:


> I dont think it's only young people this happens too.


I’m not implying that it only happens to young people.


----------



## Diana7

Anastasia6 said:


> Maybe not but I did get hit on a lot more when I was younger. I"m an outgoing type and that seems to attract males. Large breasts don't hurt either.
> 
> I go out less with Covid and all the shopping is done with my husband so now the 'opportunites' are less but face it as we age. Men hit on the younger ones more.


I agree, but it was that poster saying that she looks younger than she is so gets hit on more because of it. I wasn't sure that looking 5-10 years younger than you are would make that much difference. Say if you were 35 but looked about 30 for example. Not sure that would make that much difference to men?


----------



## TXTrini

Anastasia6 said:


> Maybe not but I did get hit on a lot more when I was younger. I"m an outgoing type and that seems to attract males. Large breasts don't hurt either.
> 
> I go out less with Covid and all the shopping is done with my husband so now the 'opportunites' are less but face it as we age. Men hit on the younger ones more.


I don't know about that! Old admirers started showing up to court my grandma after my grandpa died. She was in her 70s then.


----------



## ConanHub

TXTrini said:


> I don't know about that! Old admirers started showing up to court my grandma after my grandpa died. She was in her 70s then.


Good for her! Not losing her husband of course but it was nice to see she still had "it".😊


----------



## Diana7

staceymj86 said:


> I’m not implying that it only happens to young people.


It's was because you said you looked younger than your age which is why you get hit on. I don't see why that made too much difference to people who don't know your age anyway. If they find you attractive a few years difference in age is irrelevant.


----------



## Diana7

TXTrini said:


> I don't know about that! Old admirers started showing up to court my grandma after my grandpa died. She was in her 70s then.


I have a married friencd who was well into her 70's then who had an older man make a pass at her. She was very taken aback to be honest.


----------



## QuietRiot

TXTrini said:


> I don't know about that! Old admirers started showing up to court my grandma after my grandpa died. She was in her 70s then.


Oh hot granny! My mom gets hit on more than I do. She acts like it’s a joke, “Oh you!” And laughs maniacally. Then insists she hasn’t been hit on.


----------



## Diana7

Benbutton said:


> My wife let's me know when women are flirting with me or checking me out. If it wasn't for her observations I wouldn't have had a clue unless it was obvious. My wife has also told me it's a good thing I pursued her, because I would never have realized she had a thing for me as she's not the type to be forward with men.


My husband is the same. He really doesn't notice things like that.


----------



## JLCP

Luckylucky said:


> Yeah, I feel like meat, not even human. 😔
> 
> But I know women who absolutely swoon when they get attention 🤷🏻‍♀️


That is how I used to feel. Now that I am in my 50s I get a kick out of it, as long as nobody is too aggressive.

A couple of months ago I was bending over to get something out of my car- a small SUV that lots of young people drive and- can you believe- some high school boys had catcalls when they drove by.


----------



## ConanHub

JLCP said:


> That is how I used to feel. Now that I am in my 50s I get a kick out of it, as long as nobody is too aggressive.
> 
> A couple of months ago I was bending over to get something out of my car- a small SUV that lots of young people drive and- can you believe- some high school boys had catcalls when they drove by.


I nice derriere is a nice derriere.😉


----------



## Diana7

Cletus said:


> I really wish I had a magic decoder ring that would tell me who is being hit upon and who only thinks it. I suspect we have some here who think exactly like you're supposing, and it ain't the women folk.


True, we all see things through our own filters. In other words, we often see what we want to see and make of things what we want to. 😅


----------



## TXTrini

QuietRiot said:


> Homeless men find me irresistible. They were the only ones that really hit on me while I was wearing my rings. And now I haven’t worn my rings in over a year… I was hit on 2 times… by guess who? I mean, To be fair I don’t really get out without my kids too often. Perhaps if I did I’d have tons more homeless men hitting on me. Who knows!
> 
> Nothing against the housing challenged. Just stating the facts.


Nothing to feel embarrassed about, people are people regardless of their circumstances. It's hard to notice things when we're running around not altogether there, I'm sure you were focused on your kids. 

I notice things because I don't stand around on my phone all the time, I guess that makes people think I'm approachable? 

Oh!! Airports! There's so much flirting that happens at airports. I traveled a lot when I was younger on my own, work/school and talked to men and women or all ages. Some were just being friendly, some told me their life stories, some tried to pick me up😂.

The best thing about getting older is the crudeness of some interactions has definitely improved.


----------



## QuietRiot

Diana7 said:


> True, we all see things through our own filters. In other words, we often see what we want to see and make of things what we want to. 😅


Im pretty sure I got it right when that homeless dude said he had something in his pocket for me. Not falling for that one again!


----------



## TXTrini

ConanHub said:


> Good for her! Not losing her husband of course but it was nice to see she still had "it".😊


She was truly beautiful inside out but didn't want to e with another man after my grandpa. So she politely declined their offers.



QuietRiot said:


> Oh hot granny! My mom gets hit on more than I do. She acts like it’s a joke, “Oh you!” And laughs maniacally. Then insists she hasn’t been hit on.


That's hilarious! My mom thinks people are just being nice to her and is all innocent, she can't believe anyone "wants an old lady". Until our neighbors at the old house used to appear whenever she went outside to garden and do Tai Chi in his pajamas and wink at her 😆


----------



## JLCP

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. .... Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


The most blazen one during this decade of my life was when I was volunteering/ working at a fundraiser for my daughter's dance at the race tracks. Some guy who looked a lot like Daniel Craig kept coming up to the stand where I was selling beer and tipping me $20-$40 at a time. It was awkward especially as I had someone working with me. I know how to flirt and I can assure you I did not flirt with this guy. I was professional- friendly but was not going to be rude. He ended up leaving about $150 in tips in an effort to get me for a ONS. I was wearing my wedding ring. It was not really all that flattering though because I am sure all he wanted was a ONS.


----------



## TXTrini

JLCP said:


> The most blazen one during this decade of my life was when I was volunteering/ working at a fundraiser for my daughter's dance at the race tracks. Some guy who looked a lot like Daniel Craig kept coming up to the stand where I was selling beer and tipping me $20-$40 at a time. It was awkward especially as I had someone working with me. I know how to flirt and I can assure you I did not flirt with this guy. I was professional- friendly but was not going to be rude. He ended up leaving about $150 in tips in an effort to get me for a ONS. I was wearing my wedding ring. It was not really all that flattering though because I am sure all he wanted was a ONS.


Ewww, how arrogant! He thought enough money could buy you from your vows?!


----------



## JLCP

TXTrini said:


> Ewww, how arrogant! He thought enough money could buy you from your vows?!


He was good-looking and I would guess he has had success with this method in the past.


----------



## ConanHub

JLCP said:


> He was good-looking and I would guess he has had success with this method in the past.


If he was really talented, money wouldn't be involved at all. What a joke.

I tip service folks very well because I started there and I know how much they depend on tips.

I also have never made a pass at anyone serving me. Not my game.


----------



## TXTrini

JLCP said:


> He was good-looking and I would guess he has had success with this method in the past.


It doesn't matter how hot he was, unfortunately, a lot of them are like that. It's one thing if he tried before he noticed your ring, but the relentless assault is insulting.


----------



## JLCP

ccpowerslave said:


> Hahaha. I was doing TRX in the park and a guy jogged by and said hi to an older couple as he passed, they were scared of him. He shouted back, I don’t have Covid you can say hi back. So I shouted at him, “Hi good morning!” He jogged back to where I was and said thank you, you just made my day. This was probably around May when people started coming out after getting vaccinated and the guy was probably a shut in.
> 
> I wasn’t hitting on him.


I was very friendly after the Covid shutdown as I was missing personal interaction. Had nothing to do with hitting on anybody. Heck, I would talk to senior citizens at the grocery store and ask them how they were doing and commiserate with them being scared of getting Covid when some weren't wearing masks. I felt very bad for senior citizens and am sure it must have been a very scary time for them. It was so weird during shutdown when the only sounds I would hear were those of the occasional ambulance sirens. We live near the airport and not too far from train tracks and could hear the train when the wind blew but we heard none of that during the shutdown.


----------



## JLCP

ConanHub said:


> If he was really talented, money wouldn't be involved at all. What a joke.
> 
> I tip service folks very well because I started there and I know how much they depend on tips.
> 
> I also have never made a pass at anyone serving me. Not my game.


During my younger, better-looking days I waited tables for four years at a nice restaurant to pay for college. I never experienced anything like that persistence in the whole four years I worked there. Seems like he was looking for someone to fool around with and not have any kind of commitment. I wouldn't be surprised if he only hit on married women.


----------



## ConanHub

JLCP said:


> During my younger, better-looking days I waited tables for four years at a nice restaurant to pay for college. I never experienced anything like that persistence in the whole four years I worked there. Seems like he was looking for someone to fool around with and not have any kind of commitment. I wouldn't be surprised if he only hit on married women.


Your take on him is probably right and I know he probably did have a good success rate unfortunately.


----------



## TXTrini

JLCP said:


> During my younger, better-looking days I waited tables for four years at a nice restaurant to pay for college. I never experienced anything like that persistence in the whole four years I worked there. Seems like he was looking for someone to fool around with and not have any kind of commitment. I wouldn't be surprised if he only hit on married women.


Yuck!
Some men consider married women "low hanging fruit". I suppose their target niche is neglected women with low self-esteem, so they can smash and dash with a lesser likelihood of her coming at him, risking her established life.


----------



## JLCP

TXTrini said:


> Yuck!
> Some men consider married women "low hanging fruit". I suppose their target niche is neglected women with low self-esteem, so they can smash and dash with a lesser likelihood of her coming at him, risking her established life.


I really don't know what their thoughts are. I have never cheated even on a boyfriend and I don't understand thought process of cheaters or those who entice people to cheat.


----------



## Mybabysgotit

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


So about a month ago, I'm riding my bike through the long bike/walking path that runs up to the casino and through the park. This girl is walking along coming towards me and about 10-15 feet in front of me, she stops, turns around, bends over, pulls down her panties and spreads her ass, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. She then comes over to me and asks if I can give her a ride. To say the least, I was shocked and oddly turned on...she was a pretty cute girl, albeit a little drunk. Although it was tempting, I did do the right thing and said thank you but i'm married. I usually don't tell my wife when a girl hits on me, but I just had to tell her this one as it was so shocking. That was one i'll never forget, just by the absolute boldness of this girl.


----------



## Cletus

Mybabysgotit said:


> So about a month ago, I'm riding my bike through the long bike/walking path that runs up to the casino and through the park. This girl is walking along coming towards me and about 10-15 feet in front of me, she stops, turns around, bends over, pulls down her panties and spreads her ass, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. She then comes over to me and asks if I can give her a ride. To say the least, I was shocked and oddly turned on...she was a pretty cute girl, albeit a little drunk. Although it was tempting, I did do the right thing and said thank you but i'm married. I usually don't tell my wife when a girl hits on me, but I just had to tell her this one as it was so shocking. That was one i'll never forget, just by the absolute boldness of this girl.


See? People just can't help interpreting even the most innocent thing as a come-on.


----------



## staceymj86

Diana7 said:


> It's was because you said you looked younger than your age which is why you get hit on. I don't see why that made too much difference to people who don't know your age anyway. If they find you attractive a few years difference in age is irrelevant.


I should’ve went back and edited my post but me looking younger have nothing to do with me being hit on. I get hit on more when I’m in a relationship vs single, and have also been hit on more when I was younger.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11

Mybabysgotit said:


> So about a month ago, I'm riding my bike through the long bike/walking path that runs up to the casino and through the park. This girl is walking along coming towards me and about 10-15 feet in front of me, she stops, turns around, bends over, pulls down her panties and spreads her ass, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. She then comes over to me and asks if I can give her a ride. To say the least, I was shocked and oddly turned on...she was a pretty cute girl, albeit a little drunk. Although it was tempting, I did do the right thing and said thank you but i'm married. I usually don't tell my wife when a girl hits on me, but I just had to tell her this one as it was so shocking. That was one i'll never forget, just by the absolute boldness of this girl.


That's what an old cat I had did when it went into heat. Except it didn't wear panties and ask me for a ride. Though she did get knocked up shortly after so she must have found one.


----------



## Enigma32

I work with the public in a resort town. Back when I started there 20 years ago, I was in my early 20's and in excellent shape since I trained 7 days a week in those days. Back then, I was hit on, flirted with, or had women flash me boobs countless times. Maybe not every day but at least 2 times a week I'd say. I had married women try to hook up with me, younger 18 year old girls just flashing boobs, a couple of them stripped down completely naked just to give me a show, you name it.

20 years later, that stuff rarely happens now. It slowly tapered off over the years and all-but vanished when I hit around 40. I think in the past year I might have had 2 or 3 people hit on me and one of them was a gay guy. I guess you can't stay young and pretty forever.

I'm not including people who might try to hit on me online or any female acquaintances who might be a bit flirty.


----------



## notmyjamie

The last time I’m aware of I didn’t realize it at the time. I was at a party with my BF and a guy there kept remarking that I don’t look my age. He said he thought I was 10 years younger. I get this a lot so I didn’t think much of it. He started asking a few more questions and I just thought he was a friendly guy. BF later informed me he was hitting on me big time. I was oblivious.

BF also has a long time friend who hits on me a lot. He feels I should be with him because we’re both from the inner city and we have a couple interests in common. I am aware of his actions but he is a pig so it’s easy to see.

BF tells me he’s seen it happen a bunch of times and I’m oblivious to it. He says it’s a compliment to his taste but likes that I take no notice of it.


----------



## ConanHub

notmyjamie said:


> The last time I’m aware of I didn’t realize it at the time. I was at a party with my BF and a guy there kept remarking that I don’t look my age. He said he thought I was 10 years younger. I get this a lot so I didn’t think much of it. He started asking a few more questions and I just thought he was a friendly guy. BF later informed me he was hitting on me big time. I was oblivious.
> 
> BF also has a long time friend who hits on me a lot. He feels I should be with him because we’re both from the inner city and we have a couple interests in common. I am aware of his actions but he is a pig so it’s easy to see.
> 
> BF tells me he’s seen it happen a bunch of times and I’m oblivious to it. He says it’s a compliment to his taste but likes that I take no notice of it.


Just too curious...

How does your BF handle his longtime friend and how do you?


----------



## TXTrini

ConanHub said:


> Just too curious...
> 
> How does your BF handle his longtime friend and how do you?


Yeah, I can't imagine a real friend doing that! That's so disloyal and disrespectful!


----------



## Diana7

Mybabysgotit said:


> So about a month ago, I'm riding my bike through the long bike/walking path that runs up to the casino and through the park. This girl is walking along coming towards me and about 10-15 feet in front of me, she stops, turns around, bends over, pulls down her panties and spreads her ass, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. She then comes over to me and asks if I can give her a ride. To say the least, I was shocked and oddly turned on...she was a pretty cute girl, albeit a little drunk. Although it was tempting, I did do the right thing and said thank you but i'm married. I usually don't tell my wife when a girl hits on me, but I just had to tell her this one as it was so shocking. That was one i'll never forget, just by the absolute boldness of this girl.


Drink can make you do stupid things.
If a man exposes himself they are reported to the police.


----------



## Luckylucky

TXTrini said:


> Yuck!
> Some men consider married women "low hanging fruit". I suppose their target niche is neglected women with low self-esteem, so they can smash and dash with a lesser likelihood of her coming at him, risking her established life.


Interesting… most of the worst ones have happened when my husband has been around, or when I’ve been alone with the kids. So I’d say I’d be attracting this group who target married women (or even single mums? They might assume I’m a single mum when I’m alone with the kids). Other times it’s not me, it will be another friend when we’ve taken kids on outings. A man will approach and get very friendly and zone in on just one woman.

It’s scary to think that in a weak moment you could be flattered, and he’s only targeted you for that exact reason.


----------



## TXTrini

Luckylucky said:


> Interesting… most of the worst ones have happened when my husband has been around, or when I’ve been alone with the kids. So I’d say I’d be attracting this group who target married women (or even single mums? They might assume I’m a single mum when I’m alone with the kids). Other times it’s not me, it will be another friend when we’ve taken kids on outings. A man will approach and get very friendly and zone in on just one woman.
> 
> It’s scary to think that in a weak moment you could be flattered, and he’s only targeted you for that exact reason.


It can be a dog-eat-dog world out there. 

Some predatory people are very specific in their tastes and target people they perceive as easier or weaker. One of my mom's co-workers (married!) tried and failed to make a pass at her. He then came at me, I was 21 at the time, was back home after my first divorce. I guess he thought divorced women would be grateful for some attention 😂 His wife knows what he does, but hasn't castrated him yet. 

Some people want what they want, and don't care about consequences, once it doesn't negatively affect them.


----------



## Enigma32

Diana7 said:


> Drink can make you do stupid things.
> If a man exposes himself they are reported to the police.


Yeah but no one really cares when women do things like this. I basically had a female friend attempt to have sex with me when I was blackout drunk a few years ago. When I tell people the story, they laugh. If roles were reversed....


----------



## Diana7

TXTrini said:


> It can be a dog-eat-dog world out there.
> 
> Some predatory people are very specific in their tastes and target people they perceive as easier or weaker. One of my mom's co-workers (married!) tried and failed to make a pass at her. He then came at me, I was 21 at the time, was back home after my first divorce. I guess he thought divorced women would be grateful for some attention 😂 His wife knows what he does, but hasn't castrated him yet.
> 
> Some people want what they want, and don't care about consequences, once it doesn't negatively affect them.


Those sorts of people are just creepy. Why on earth is his wife still with him?


----------



## Diana7

Enigma32 said:


> Yeah but no one really cares when women do things like this. I basically had a female friend attempt to have sex with me when I was blackout drunk a few years ago. When I tell people the story, they laugh. If roles were reversed....


I agree, its very wrong. I know a guy who was given drugs and raped by a woman when they were both in their teens.


----------



## TXTrini

Diana7 said:


> Those sorts of people are just creepy. Why on earth is his wife still with him?


It's not the money, she's very successful in her career and attractive. Who knows why people do the things they do sometimes? I don't like sloppy seconds, so it's a real headscratcher for me.


----------



## Gabriel

bobert said:


> All my wife has to do is leave the house. It's not like it happens every single time she's out but it happens at the grocery store, gas station, just walking down the street, dropping the kids off at school, at the kid's extracurriculars, walking the dog, etc. In the past, she was hit on daily at work, at the gym, etc. and I'm sure she still would be but she no longer works/goes to the gym. She isn't wearing rings now but was in the past, didn't matter. She can be out with the kids and/or pregnant, doesn't matter. She doesn't enjoy being hit on so she's super awkward and shuts down the interaction with her awkwardness or by ignoring the guy.
> 
> I do get hit on but not nearly as often. Well, it used to happen all the time when I was in a band. Aside from that, most of it I'm oblivious to and someone else points it out later. It's mainly happened in bars and at work. Wedding ring didn't matter.


Does she have a particularly striking quality? 

Some women get hit on a lot because of a particular thing. Years ago, my wife got hit on a fair amount - Smiley Asian with very white teeth, very thick healthy hair, and looked 15 years younger than her age. This attracts a certain type of guy a lot.

In my case, never anymore, at least that I'm aware. And it never happened a ton because I have a bit of a standoffish demeanor. But oddly, there are 3 or 4 known women that my wife has told me were super into me. Like, we still know these people, and I have to admit in hindsight it was obvious. In a store, or whatever, never. I'm rarely out without my wife and when I am, my walls are up anyway.


----------



## ccpowerslave

I tipped a bartender $100 cash in Vegas last weekend because she was working so hard, pouring drinks with both hands. My wife was with me when I did it, I just wanted the beers and she was kicking ass. I said “This is for you, you’re doing a great job thanks for working so hard.” I didn’t notice because I wanted my two beers (double fisting it) but my wife said she looked like she was going to cry.

Was not hitting on her, just recognizing someone working a mostly thankless job very hard with really no incentive to work as hard as she was.


----------



## Enigma32

Diana7 said:


> I agree, its very wrong. I know a guy who was given drugs and raped by a woman when they were both in their teens.


Really, I am kinda on the fence about it. We got drunk together and while I was passed out she was doing things to me. If a man had done that to a female I knew, I would be mad. Her doing it do me....I didn't really care. We are still friends even. I get the double standard but it is what it is.


----------



## Diana7

TXTrini said:


> It's not the money, she's very successful in her career and attractive. Who knows why people do the things they do sometimes? I don't like sloppy seconds, so it's a real headscratcher for me.


Same here.


----------



## Diana7

ccpowerslave said:


> I tipped a bartender $100 cash in Vegas last weekend because she was working so hard, pouring drinks with both hands. My wife was with me when I did it, I just wanted the beers and she was kicking ass. I said “This is for you, you’re doing a great job thanks for working so hard.” I didn’t notice because I wanted my two beers (double fisting it) but my wife said she looked like she was going to cry.
> 
> Was not hitting on her, just recognizing someone working a mostly thankless job very hard with really no incentive to work as hard as she was.


I love doing things like that, sadly not on your scale as I don't have much money.
Having said that, about 10 years back our car broke down in the middle of the night on the way back from a wedding. The poor rescue guy took 2 hours to drive to us, we were in the countryside, and had to drive us home about 3 hours away. Ok it was his job but my husband felt we should give him £100(about $138) for himself.
He rang the next day and said did you mean to give me that much? I think he thought we had made a mistake in the dark and intended to give him £10 or £ 2O. Anyway when we said we did he was really touched and quite emotional bless him. 

If I had the money I would go round doing that all the time, I just love blessing people in that way. Having been very hard up myself a lot, especially as a single mum, I understand how much difference an amount like that can make.
Not much for some, just loose change, but a lot if you are struggling.


----------



## heartsbeating

QuietRiot said:


> Im pretty sure I got it right when that homeless dude said he had something in his pocket for me. Not falling for that one *again!*


Again ...?  Please tell me you're joking as I busted out laughing with this.


----------



## Luckylucky

Enigma32 said:


> Yeah but no one really cares when women do things like this. I basically had a female friend attempt to have sex with me when I was blackout drunk a few years ago. When I tell people the story, they laugh. If roles were reversed....


I don’t find it funny at all, that would have felt awful as a man, even more so because people do react that way.


----------



## heartsbeating

Cletus said:


> See? People just can't help interpreting even the most innocent thing as a come-on.


Classic


----------



## heartsbeating

staceymj86 said:


> I should’ve went back and edited my post but me looking younger have nothing to do with me being hit on. I get hit on more when I’m in a relationship vs single, and have also been hit on more when I was younger.


Don't worry about mentioning you look younger. Thanks for jumping in to the thread!


----------



## Luckylucky

TXTrini said:


> It's not the money, she's very successful in her career and attractive. Who knows why people do the things they do sometimes? I don't like sloppy seconds, so it's a real headscratcher for me.


Women like these also attract some of the most abusive men out there. It would shock you to know that here, the most successful and smart women are the most paralysed when it comes to leaving, and suffer some of the worst abuse. You would think that vulnerable and weak women are mostly victims of this, but successful women with decent parents and loving families who are highly educated, can be quite a target. Some of the women here who have been murdered by husbands when trying to leave fit this profile.

Back to being hit on, I am very wary of any man trying to be friendly to me, even more so when my kids are around. I’m not a catch with 3 kids in tow and being middle aged. So I immediately question their sanity.

Even when it happens to a friend. I have also noticed, we’re often not looking our best on a day out with the kids. What kind of man loiters around parks and playgrounds where women and children gather, walking his dog there, instead of a soccer ground where he can chat sport with the fellas if he’s feeling friendly? 🤔


----------



## Diana7

Gabriel said:


> Does she have a particularly striking quality?
> 
> Some women get hit on a lot because of a particular thing. Years ago, my wife got hit on a fair amount - Smiley Asian with very white teeth, very thick healthy hair, and looked 15 years younger than her age. This attracts a certain type of guy a lot.
> 
> In my case, never anymore, at least that I'm aware. And it never happened a ton because I have a bit of a standoffish demeanor. But oddly, there are 3 or 4 known women that my wife has told me were super into me. Like, we still know these people, and I have to admit in hindsight it was obvious. In a store, or whatever, never. I'm rarely out without my wife and when I am, my walls are up anyway.


Must say that in the 45 or more years since I first got married at 19 and had to start regularly shopping for food, not once have I seen a man approach a woman or visa versa and start chatting them up in a supermarket. I am usually pretty aware of people as well, and notice what is going on. People just get their shopping and go. Or they are going round with whoever they came in with chatting to them.
I wonder if you have to be pretty desperate to try and hit on a person while they are food shopping🤔


----------



## TXTrini

Luckylucky said:


> Women like these also attract some of the most abusive men out there. It would shock you to know that here, the most successful and smart women are the most paralysed when it comes to leaving, and suffer some of the worst abuse. You would think that vulnerable and weak women are mostly victims of this, but successful women with decent parents and loving families who are highly educated, can be quite a target. Some of the women here who have been murdered by husbands when trying to leave fit this profile.
> 
> Back to being hit on, I am very wary of any man trying to be friendly to me, even more so when my kids are around. I’m not a catch with 3 kids in tow and being middle aged. So I immediately question their sanity.
> 
> Even when it happens to a friend. I have also noticed, we’re often not looking our best on a day out with the kids. What kind of man loiters around parks and playgrounds where women and children gather, walking his dog there, instead of a soccer ground where he can chat sport with the fellas if he’s feeling friendly? 🤔


The kind of man not interested in the women but want easy access?

I get it, I was guilty of the same acceptance until it crossed the point of no return for me.


----------



## Diana7

Luckylucky said:


> Women like these also attract some of the most abusive men out there. It would shock you to know that here, the most successful and smart women are the most paralysed when it comes to leaving, and suffer some of the worst abuse. You would think that vulnerable and weak women are mostly victims of this, but successful women with decent parents and loving families who are highly educated, can be quite a target. Some of the women here who have been murdered by husbands when trying to leave fit this profile.
> 
> Back to being hit on, I am very wary of any man trying to be friendly to me, even more so when my kids are around. I’m not a catch with 3 kids in tow and being middle aged. So I immediately question their sanity.
> 
> Even when it happens to a friend. I have also noticed, we’re often not looking our best on a day out with the kids. What kind of man loiters around parks and playgrounds where women and children gather, walking his dog there, instead of a soccer ground where he can chat sport with the fellas if he’s feeling friendly? 🤔


Yes and as we know some men target women with children, especially single ones, for their own reasons.


----------



## bobert

Gabriel said:


> Does she have a particularly striking quality?
> 
> Some women get hit on a lot because of a particular thing. Years ago, my wife got hit on a fair amount - Smiley Asian with very white teeth, very thick healthy hair, and looked 15 years younger than her age. This attracts a certain type of guy a lot.
> 
> In my case, never anymore, at least that I'm aware. And it never happened a ton because I have a bit of a standoffish demeanor. But oddly, there are 3 or 4 known women that my wife has told me were super into me. Like, we still know these people, and I have to admit in hindsight it was obvious. In a store, or whatever, never. I'm rarely out without my wife and when I am, my walls are up anyway.


She's a redhead and effortlessly pretty (but not in an intimidating way). Most of the men who hit on her are not white. It's predominantly black men (who have a thing for redheads, for whatever reason) or men who moved here from South America, Afghanistan, the Philippines, etc. I'm guessing it's because they don't have redheads "back home" (she's been called exotic by them quite a few times) but I could be wrong. 

She also looks younger than she is. She's 35 but I don't think anyone would ever guess that. I'm not sure that works in her favor (yet), because some people think she's in high school


----------



## ccpowerslave

Diana7 said:


> I wonder if you have to be pretty desperate to try and hit on a person while they are food shopping…


I would (if I wasn’t married). I once had someone put down a pack of salami and a beer (and that’s it) after me in the market and I turned and it was a beautiful lady. That’s enough for me to chat her up right there if I was single.

You can really tell a lot about someone from their groceries.


----------



## Al_Bundy

When I was single with and would go out at night with the guys I'd spend the day "warming up" talking and being friendly to everyone. By the time we went out I was in the zone.


----------



## Diana7

staceymj86 said:


> I should’ve went back and edited my post but me looking younger have nothing to do with me being hit on. I get hit on more when I’m in a relationship vs single, and have also been hit on more when I was younger.


Thank you for explaining. I was trying to understand what you meant.


----------



## Al_Bundy

ccpowerslave said:


> I would (if I wasn’t married). I once had someone put down a pack of salami and a beer (and that’s it) after me in the market and I turned and it was a beautiful lady. That’s enough for me to chat her up right there if I was single.
> 
> You can really tell a lot about someone from their groceries.


Right, it's also called just being social. I recommend places like Whole Foods, Sprouts, etc..... less land whales to wade through.


----------



## Diana7

ccpowerslave said:


> I would (if I wasn’t married). I once had someone put down a pack of salami and a beer (and that’s it) after me in the market and I turned and it was a beautiful lady. That’s enough for me to chat her up right there if I was single.
> 
> You can really tell a lot about someone from their groceries.


I guess I would just assume that most people are probably already dating or married.


----------



## staceymj86

Back when I was a teenager, I was always getting hit on by the bad boys of the neighborhood. I didn’t find out until later that guys who were more into books and their education we’re intimidated by me because of the neighborhood I grew up in and the girls I were friends with. It sucks that I could’ve missed out on some good relationships before I met my fiancé.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Al_Bundy said:


> Right, it's also called just being social. I recommend places like Whole Foods, Sprouts, etc..... less land whales to wade through.


I go to a high end store but it is next to a senior center so a good mix of non-land whales but also older folks. I find the older folks to be more chatty despite then fact I’m often wearing metal t-shirts. I had one lady call me Mr. Megadeth, she said “Mr. Megadeth are you the end of the line?” I said yes ma’am I am! BTW she was not hitting on me (I think).


----------



## Diana7

Al_Bundy said:


> Right, it's also called just being social. I recommend places like Whole Foods, Sprouts, etc..... less land whales to wade through.


Yes I am always sociable and friendly, but thats not chatting someone up.


----------



## Al_Bundy

ccpowerslave said:


> I go to a high end store but it is next to a senior center so a good mix of non-land whales but also older folks. I find the older folks to be more chatty despite then fact I’m often wearing metal t-shirts. I had one lady call me Mr. Megadeth, she said “Mr. Megadeth are you the end of the line?” I said yes ma’am I am! BTW she was not hitting on me (I think).


Eventually we'll be the old ones wearing Slayer and Black Label Society shirts............


----------



## ccpowerslave

Al_Bundy said:


> Eventually we'll be the old ones wearing Slayer and Black Label Society shirts............


I feel like it now already hahahah.


----------



## staceymj86

bobert said:


> She's a redhead and effortlessly pretty (but not in an intimidating way). Most of the men who hit on her are not white. It's predominantly black men (who have a thing for redheads, for whatever reason) or men who moved here from South America, Afghanistan, the Philippines, etc. I'm guessing it's because they don't have redheads "back home" (she's been called exotic by them quite a few times) but I could be wrong.
> 
> She also looks younger than she is. She's 35 but I don't think anyone would ever guess that. I'm not sure that works in her favor (yet), because some people think she's in high school


I get asked all the time if I’m old enough to work for the post office, because I look like a high schooler in my uniform. I’ll be 35 in December and sometimes it’s funny, but other times it’s annoying when the customer try to talk to me like I’m a child. I immediately correct them. I have some creepy customers on my route who tried to take me out even though I told them I’m engaged and flashed my engagement ring. That still don’t stop them asking every once in a while if I’m married yet.


----------



## Al_Bundy

Diana7 said:


> Yes I am always sociable and friendly, but thats not chatting someone up.


Might be that us Colonials don't speak the Queen's english. But pretty much the same thing. Conversation is a dance. If a woman isn't wanting to talk you don't just plow through. Plus I'd argue women like stuff like that, how many rom-coms are based off a chance meeting, serendipity, fate and all that other stuff women love.


----------



## heartsbeating

ccpowerslave said:


> I would (if I wasn’t married). I once had someone put down a pack of salami and a beer (and that’s it) after me in the market and I turned and it was a beautiful lady. That’s enough for me to chat her up right there if I was single.
> 
> You can really tell a lot about someone from their groceries.


Typically the 'good' stuff I get is for Batman


----------



## ccpowerslave

Al_Bundy said:


> Might be that us Colonials don't speak the Queen's english. But pretty much the same thing. Conversation is a dance. If a woman isn't wanting to talk you don't just plow through. Plus I'd argue women like stuff like that, how many rom-coms are based off a chance meeting, serendipity, fate and all that other stuff women love.


How many have I endured where there is a similar situation to the one I described? Two people reach for the same thing and bump heads, crap like that.

Well it sometimes happens IRL. How random is it that a fellow beer drinking carnivore ends up in line behind me? So infrequently that even though it was probably several years ago I still remember it and I still remember what she looked like. I usually look at people’s groceries.

The normal standard for women at this store is soup and salad for lunch, sometimes a sandwich from the deli, sometimes fruit. This lady bought salami and beer.


----------



## minimalME

Enigma32 said:


> …had women flash me boobs countless times. Maybe not every day but at least 2 times a week I'd say. I had married women try to hook up with me, younger 18 year old girls just flashing boobs, a couple of them stripped down completely naked just to give me a show, you name it.


🤢


----------



## ccpowerslave

heartsbeating said:


> Typically the 'good' stuff I get is for Batman


That occurred to me except no ring on her and no mark from wearing a ring. Could have been unattached. Oh well! The good thing is over a period of more than 20 years I have gradually converted my wife’s diet to be more like mine and as she has been getting closer she has been losing weight which encourages her to come even closer. 

She’s now on the 16 hour fast and has already lost 5lbs just from that with no other changes. She’s like wow maybe there is something to what you’re eating. 🤨


----------



## heartsbeating

ccpowerslave said:


> How many have I endured where there is a similar situation to the one I described? Two people reach for the same thing and bump heads, crap like that.
> 
> Well it sometimes happens IRL. How random is it that a fellow beer drinking carnivore ends up in line behind me? So infrequently that even though it was probably several years ago I still remember it and I still remember what she looked like. I usually look at people’s groceries.
> 
> The normal standard for women at this store is soup and salad for lunch, sometimes a sandwich from the deli, sometimes fruit. This lady bought salami and beer.


I find this interesting. Typically I think I keep reasonable 'situational awareness' and not looking at my phone or what have you, and yet, I'm not really taking in what other people are buying. Unless I notice an item and think 'dagnabbit, I meant to get one of those!' then dash back to an aisle. In saying that, when I'm at the store there's only a handful of us customers there.


----------



## bobert

staceymj86 said:


> I get asked all the time if I’m old enough to work for the post office, because I look like a high schooler in my uniform. I’ll be 35 in December and sometimes it’s funny, but other times it’s annoying when the customer try to talk to me like I’m a child. I immediately correct them. I have some creepy customers on my route who tried to take me out even though I told them I’m engaged and flashed my engagement ring. That still don’t stop them asking every once in a while if I’m married yet.


My wife is a nurse so you can imagine the comments she got. Patients or their families frequently asked if she was old enough, how old she was, asked for someone else, assumed she was a student, aide or assistant, etc. 

Outside of work, lots of "is the homeowner home", "lots of babies having babies these days", "are you the nanny?" type stuff. She's not a fan!


----------



## ConanHub

TJ but I just realized I have no idea what anyone is buying in any store I'm in. I'm usually just aware of numbers, relative size, age and gender. I also just want them to keep their distance.


----------



## TXTrini

ccpowerslave said:


> I would (if I wasn’t married). I once had someone put down a pack of salami and a beer (and that’s it) after me in the market and I turned and it was a beautiful lady. That’s enough for me to chat her up right there if I was single.
> 
> You can really tell a lot about someone from their groceries.


You'd think I was schizophrenic 😆.

It depends on location (Sprouts, Costco, Kroger) and the store ad. Everything from fruits, vegetables, meat and full fat dairy to beer and twinkies. 

I love to cart snoop 🤪


----------



## bobert

ConanHub said:


> TJ but I just realized I have no idea what anyone is buying in any store I'm in. I'm usually just aware of numbers, relative size, age and gender. I also just want them to keep their distance.


I only notice if people have their carts full of fresh produce and meat, or chips and soda. I judge, can't help it...


----------



## heartsbeating

As far as noticing things, I thought this was adorable (and slight t/j here). While out, I decided on the way home that I'd get coffee from the place where Batman goes more often, and phoned ahead so I could quickly pick them up. The guy asked, 'Is that _Hearts?_' And I replied 😲 'Yes! How did you know?' He said, 'I recognized that's _Batman's_ regular order, and I know that _Batman_ and _Hearts go together_.' I had a little butterflies around my heart moment and said, 'Aww, that is actually really cute. Thank you!' Then dropped in and collected our order from him.


----------



## QuietRiot

heartsbeating said:


> Again ...?  Please tell me you're joking as I busted out laughing with this.


Totally joking, I have to be reasonably sure your pants have been washed in the last month if I’m going pocket fishing.


----------



## Diana7

bobert said:


> My wife is a nurse so you can imagine the comments she got. Patients or their families frequently asked if she was old enough, how old she was, asked for someone else, assumed she was a student, aide or assistant, etc.
> 
> Outside of work, lots of "is the homeowner home", "lots of babies having babies these days", "are you the nanny?" type stuff. She's not a fan!


As people get older doctors, nurses and police men seem to look so young. 
When I had an op a few years back I remember one of the female doctors looked like she was barely 18.
Sometimes I see a mum who looks so young, then I realize how much younger I must have looked when I had my first at 21. 
It's definitely an age thing.


----------



## ccpowerslave

heartsbeating said:


> I find this interesting. Typically I think I keep reasonable 'situational awareness' and not looking at my phone or what have you, and yet, I'm not really taking in what other people are buying. Unless I notice an item and think 'dagnabbit, I meant to get one of those!' then dash back to an aisle. In saying that, when I'm at the store there's only a handful of us customers there.


It’s a good policy in general. I rarely if ever see people buying junk food like candy or chips at the store but to give you an idea on situational awareness I went to the grocery last Sunday with the Mrs. after hanging out at the pub for a few hours drinking because our power was out at home.

We get home and I start unpacking groceries and it’s like: sausage, hot dogs, beef, vegetables, CheezIt’s (cheese crackers) and my brain makes the record scratch sound. I’m like what the **** is that? I didn’t buy that! My wife is like, “Oh my how did those get in the bag? Oh well!” She snuck them into the order somehow and I was intoxicated enough I didn’t notice.

Sneaky that one…


----------



## heartsbeating

Diana7 said:


> Must say that in the 45 or more years since I first got married at 19 and had to start regularly shopping for food, not once have I seen a man approach a woman or visa versa and start chatting them up in a supermarket.


I haven't noticed or experienced this either, and hence my interest with being nosy and starting this thread. The only times I've been approached have been in clubs/bars without Batman, which is a rare occasion, or through work, and few and far between; not just out and about running errands.

A few weeks ago, he came home and mentioned the brief conversation he had with the store person and which kind of led to her going out of her way to get the item he wanted; and which wasn't his intention, but he appreciated it. Being immature, I was teasing that she only does that for the handsome guys with cute accents. He shook his head. Conversely, sometimes when I'm heading out, he'll comment on how good I look and say, 'Try not to get hit on...' And then I shake my head.


----------



## heartsbeating

I recall this moment as I'd posted about it in the context of me being a muppet last year, when social distancing had become a thing. I had my phone under my arm, carrying keys and coffees. Awkwardly unlocked car, placed one coffee on roof of car, about to open car door when guy waiting for his coffee called out if I was alright. I'd used the coffee-on-top-of-car method before but I laughed and replied ‘We’ll find out in a minute!’ My way of joking; I didn’t need help. He stepped forward and opened my car door for me. Another stepped forward, took the coffee off my roof and said, ‘You don’t want to lose your coffee. I’ll pass to you once you’re in your car.’ It happened in an instant. Before I knew it, I was in my car being handed the coffee. I'd mentioned it to Batman in terms of social distancing. My interpretation was they were just trying to be helpful, while he perceived it through his lens of finding me attractive. Anyway, these days I have moved on from that method, and take a coffee-tray with me. Much easier!


----------



## ccpowerslave

When I get two coffees I put them on the edge of my truck bed then transfer them into the vehicle.

I always make a point to open the door for anyone with both hands full of coffee. Not hitting on them at all, just being helpful.

Edit: Need to qualify that. The coffee shop door not their vehicle. Opening someone’s vehicle door is sketchy.


----------



## heartsbeating

ccpowerslave said:


> Edit: Need to qualify that. The coffee shop door not their vehicle. Opening someone’s vehicle door is sketchy.


 ...sounds sketchy in type. In the lived context, less so.


----------



## ccpowerslave

heartsbeating said:


> ...sounds sketchy in type. In the lived context, less so.


If I was a lady I wouldn’t be super excited about a random 6’5” 230 lbs man opening my car door and ushering me in.


----------



## ConanHub

heartsbeating said:


> I haven't noticed or experienced this either, and hence my interest with being nosy and starting this thread.


Do you count store employees, managers or owners?

I avoid people a lot but I have to interact with the aforementioned and have fielded passes from them all. Wait. I did get one of the strongest hits ever at a grocery store but I saved her from rogue dogs first so I'm not sure if that counts.


----------



## notmyjamie

ConanHub said:


> Just too curious...
> 
> How does your BF handle his longtime friend and how do you?


 They are no longer friends. This guy was extremely jealous of our relationship. Last Father’s Day it got ugly…BF decided he wasn’t worth it and dropped him as a friend. I feel bad because BF lost some other friends by default but he feels it was the right choice.


----------



## frusdil

joannacroc said:


> I find a reaction in my neighborhood to a courteous hello how are you as you are passing to be odd. If the people are older than me than they typically do the same back. A lot of younger people don't even acknowledge that I said anything. It never occured to me but *could saying hello come aross as creepy? Or hitting on them? *Oh dear...


Geez I hope not, or I've been hitting on everyone in the neighbourhood when I'm out for a walk


----------



## Enigma32

ccpowerslave said:


> When I get two coffees I put them on the edge of my truck bed then transfer them into the vehicle.
> 
> I always make a point to open the door for anyone with both hands full of coffee. Not hitting on them at all, just being helpful.
> 
> Edit: Need to qualify that. The coffee shop door not their vehicle. Opening someone’s vehicle door is sketchy.


This is the level of people watching I find myself engaging in. When I go to the local convenience store, Wawa for those that are familiar with them, I always pay attention to who opens the door for who. My theory is people make a split second calculation in their head. For example, take a guy around my age or older, 40+ and he has a female walking towards the door. He looks back at her, and I can see him consider whether or not he will hold the door for her. If someone is just behind you, you open the door, right? But what if she is further away? That's when I see the guy thinking to himself whether or not she is hot enough to hold open the door based on her distance to the door. I've seen guys hold a door open and wait for a very hot girl to cross the entire parking lot and I've seen guys look back and see a homely girl then turn around and go inside, leaving her to open the door for herself.


----------



## ConanHub

notmyjamie said:


> They are no longer friends. This guy was extremely jealous of our relationship. Last Father’s Day it got ugly…BF decided he wasn’t worth it and dropped him as a friend. I feel bad because BF lost some other friends by default but he feels it was the right choice.


Makes perfect sense and he wasn't worth keeping.


----------



## frusdil

Diana7 said:


> One of my husband's friends is a hairdresser and has quite a few gay friends. Some years back one of them who had met my husband said to the friend that he really fancied him(my husband). Friend replied that he had no chance and that he was VERY straight.


I think that's cute lol. Gays are very particular about looks, so your husband must be a hottie!

When I was hit on by the woman I was all "Aw, shucks, thanks honey!" hehehe


----------



## heartsbeating

ccpowerslave said:


> If I was a lady I wouldn’t be super excited about a random 6’5” 230 lbs man opening my car door and ushering me in.


Within the context, it was unexpected, not needed, nor something to be excited about, but overall I didn't perceive it as sketchy; or as being hit on.


----------



## heartsbeating

ConanHub said:


> Do you count store employees, managers or owners?
> 
> I avoid people a lot but I have to interact with the aforementioned and have fielded passes from them all. Wait. I did get one of the strongest hits ever at a grocery store but I saved her from rogue dogs first so I'm not sure if that counts.


Correct. In terms of grocery stores and alike, not something I have observed.

However, just because I haven't observed or experienced this, I'm not suggesting that it doesn't happen. Hence, the thread!


----------



## heartsbeating

frusdil said:


> Geez I hope not, or I've been hitting on everyone in the neighbourhood when I'm out for a walk


Sometimes Batman is more the one to say hello, and I give a nod of acknowledgement. How lazy of me. And so, he's been hitting on everyone and in the presence of his wife.


----------



## LATERILUS79

I thought about this one for a bit.

I’m not 100% sure I can think of a situation where I’ve been hit on before - married or unmarried. I had one seriously weird/messed up situation happen when I was delivering pizza in college, but other than that, I’m not noticing if/when it happens. I don’t pick up subtle things from women. I’ve been told here from other members that I have had women hit on me in the past, so I can only take their word for it.

as for my wife, she is pretty much like me. I witnessed her being hit on one time in college. We were at a bar and I went the bathroom. Came out and saw some guy talking to her. I informed him to leave. He did. My wife tells me of only one other time she’s been hit on while she was at a park. That was 10 years ago.

I’ve always been skeptical as I consider my wife to be a pretty lady. I assume this happens all the time. She swears otherwise. She tells me she puts off the vibe of “don’t talk to me”. I’m sure all you gals have that mode setting. 😂


----------



## manowar

BigDaddyNY said:


> I've been hit on by way more men than women over the years.


Damn-- this opened up some suppressed memories. But I had the same. When I was in my 20s, I got hit on by gays a lot. NYC/So. Fla. It really pissed me off. Why the fk dont hot women do this, I asked myself? I remember some older dude in fla wearing a speedo suit, came and sat down next to me. Sickening to say the least. I recall my response (haven't thought about this in decades). "Get your fking fat ass out of here". That memory is going right back into the suppressed box hopefully never to be brought out again.



TXTrini said:


> Old admirers started showing up* to court *my grandma after my grandpa died. She was in her 70s then.


There's a name for those guys.... They are called betas in waiting. When a woman changes her status on FB from married to single, those betas in waiting come out of the woodwork. Usually 7-10 of them. I know of a case where a beta brought the lady chicken soup and left it on her doorstep. I was so amazed by this behavior. This is s/t that would never cross my mind. It didn't compute w/ me and still doesn't.


----------



## ConanHub

manowar said:


> Damn-- this opened up some suppressed memories. But I had the same. When I was in my 20s, I got hit on by gays a lot. NYC/So. Fla. It really pissed me off. Why the fk dont hot women do this, I asked myself? I remember some older dude in fla wearing a speedo suit, came and sat down next to me. Sickening to say the least. I recall my response (haven't thought about this in decades). "Get your fking fat ass out of here". That memory is going right back into the suppressed box hopefully never to be brought out again.
> 
> 
> 
> There's a name for those guys.... They are called betas in waiting. When a woman changes her status on FB from married to single, those betas in waiting come out of the woodwork. Usually 7-10 of them. I know of a case where a beta brought the lady chicken soup and left it on her doorstep. I was so amazed by this behavior. This is s/t that would never cross my mind. It didn't compute w/ me and still doesn't.


I was laughing at the first part of this post and have some interesting stories of my own.

The second part I have to disagree with you a little about.

I have used terms like alpha and beta to speed conversation but life is more complex.

I am kind and even loving to women I will probably never have sex with though a relationship might form if the stars align. My goal in being kind isn't to get sex or anything else from them to begin with.

I will agree with you that if putting soup on a woman's doorstep is a ploy for sex, that is lower than pathetic.

I don't believe every man that expresses interest in a newly single woman is what you might define as beta. I believe at least some are simply honorable men who would never let their attraction be known while a woman is taken but will when she is available.


----------



## ConanHub

Here is my personal favorite pass made at me at a grocery store.

I was working odd hours early in my marriage and I would often frequent a local store for some before hours breakfast and coffee. It was very early morning and I was walking out when I saw a woman by the exit, looking around the door into the parking lot.

I decided to go about my business and as I walked passed her, she asked for help.

I looked at her and she was not a junkie or street person but an attractive professional working similar hours. She had on scrubs underneath her coat.

She said there were dogs trying to get her and she couldn't get to her car. I considered for a second that she might actually be on something but looked outside.

I literally thought "Well I'll be damned!". There were two large dogs moving back and forth between the store exit and the nearest cars. I could immediately tell they were stalking her.

I told her I would help her and explained that the dogs wouldn't come at me because they could sense I would kill them. I told her to stay on whatever side of me opposite the dogs and I would walk her to her car.

She held onto my arm as I guided her out and, sure enough, those dogs wanted her but were afraid of me.

They tried to angle around me to get her but we kept changing position so that they were always facing me. I talked with her calmly the whole time.

By the time we got to her car, they gave up and left the lot.

She looked up at me and not only thanked me, she invited me to eat her cooking at her home after making sure I was in her age range.

I held up my left hand and let her know I appreciated the offer but couldn't.

I do believe she would have accepted a proposal at that point. LoL!


----------



## TXTrini

manowar said:


> There's a name for those guys.... They are called betas in waiting. When a woman changes her status on FB from married to single, those betas in waiting come out of the woodwork. Usually 7-10 of them. I know of a case where a beta brought the lady chicken soup and left it on her doorstep. I was so amazed by this behavior. This is s/t that would never cross my mind. It didn't compute w/ me and still doesn't.


These were old dudes in their 70-80's, most of them were widowers. Some of them were very well-to-do, one was even a local gangster from the 40's. She was a very good, well-liked woman, when she passed years later, some of them showed up to her funeral. I rather doubt anyone of that generation was alpha/beta strutting of whatever you dudes do these days. 

None of my male friends came at me on Facebook when I changed my status, but that's because we all respected each other's marriages/partnerships and I don't have random people on my social media. Some single men did send me friend requests, but I assumed they were scammers since I didn't know them and declined.


----------



## manowar

ConanHub said:


> I don't believe every man that expresses interest in a newly single woman is what you might define as beta


Neither do I. I said it half-jokingly based on her age. its just a saying but like all sayings, they have some truth to them. 




TXTrini said:


> None of my male friends came at me on Facebook when I changed my status,


Was there one guy? think back.....

Maybe not enough single/divorced guys saw the change in status. But this is pretty common.


----------



## Blondilocks

heartsbeating said:


> I recall this moment as I'd posted about it in the context of me being a muppet last year, when social distancing had become a thing. I had my phone under my arm, carrying keys and coffees. Awkwardly unlocked car, placed one coffee on roof of car, about to open car door when guy waiting for his coffee called out if I was alright. I'd used the coffee-on-top-of-car method before but I laughed and replied ‘We’ll find out in a minute!’ My way of joking; I didn’t need help. He stepped forward and opened my car door for me. Another stepped forward, took the coffee off my roof and said, ‘You don’t want to lose your coffee. I’ll pass to you once you’re in your car.’ It happened in an instant. Before I knew it, I was in my car being handed the coffee. I'd mentioned it to Batman in terms of social distancing. My interpretation was they were just trying to be helpful, while he perceived it through his lens of finding me attractive. Anyway, these days I have moved on from that method, and take a coffee-tray with me. Much easier!


Was this the time you were wearing Batman's sweats and they fell to your ankles while trying to juggle your coffees?🤣


----------



## She'sStillGotIt

Blondilocks said:


> Believe it or not, I do get hit on occassionally. Even though I'm widowed I still wear my wedding rings. I have a standard reply - No. I don't care if they know I'm widowed, I still have my rings on and would never accept a date with a guy who would hit on a woman wearing wedding rings. WTH are they thinking?


I have to be honest with you - I don't think most men NOTICE wedding bands.

I say this because this has happened numerous times with my husband - we'll be watching TV or a movie and I'll make a comment about how the guy is married or single and he'll ask me how on earth I know that already when we hardly even know the story line yet? 

And I've told him several times now that I've always FIRST looked at a man's ring finger to see if there was a wedding ring. Now admittedly, we all know a guy can take his ring off and in today's world, a lot of people don't even get married anymore or wear rings. But that was just something I always checked when I was single at various times of my life, and out of habit, I still look at hands today. 

My husband has *never *thought to check a woman's hands for rings just because it's never occurred to him, not because he's some kind of low life. I'm just trying to say, if a man does ask you out, DON'T assume he's noticed your wedding rings and is being a jerk. My husband was a widow when I met him, but he hadn't worn a wedding ring in years (he'd lost it in the ocean and they just never replaced it). Sometimes, things ain't all they appear to be.


----------



## notmyjamie

ConanHub said:


> Makes perfect sense and he wasn't worth keeping.


Agreed. Just realized I didn’t answer part of your question. I handled it by letting BF know of the guy’s behavior and then let him handle it. In the moment I told the guy “not a chance” but every time this group of friends got together I had to keep saying it. Eventually the jealousy got so bad the guy tried to start a fist fight with BF in front of his kids. That’s when BF said enough and so now we don’t see any of that friend group anymore which is too bad because we really liked all the other people in the group. Some people just suck.


----------



## ConanHub

notmyjamie said:


> Agreed. Just realized I didn’t answer part of your question. I handled it by letting BF know of the guy’s behavior and then let him handle it. In the moment I told the guy “not a chance” but every time this group of friends got together I had to keep saying it. Eventually the jealousy got so bad the guy tried to start a fist fight with BF in front of his kids. That’s when BF said enough and so now we don’t see any of that friend group anymore which is too bad because we really liked all the other people in the group. Some people just suck.


WOW! I'm surprised the group didn't take the a hole to task for his behavior and stopped visiting you guys because of the bad apple.

What a loser!


----------



## In Absentia

I used to be stopped by gay men in their cars all the time when I was 17... asking me if I wanted a lift... erm, nope!


----------



## bobert

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I've always FIRST looked at a man's ring finger to see if there was a wedding ring. Now admittedly, we all know a guy can take his ring


My wife does this as well. For a different reason but every person she sees IRL or on TV, male or female, she checks the ring finger. 

I don't do that, but I doubt men can miss some rings. There was no missing one set that my wife used to wear. Simple wedding bands, sure, but the more "flashy" sets? Hard to believe that if they have an interaction that lasts more than a few seconds.


----------



## jonty30

In Absentia said:


> I used to be stopped by gay men in their cars all the time when I was 17... asking me if I wanted a lift... erm, nope!


When I was young and stupid, I decided to visit the Alberta Legislative grounds at night because of the water fountains. I was invited up to some guy's apartment, and I was naive about homosexuality. So, I went to his apartment and, when we got there and he invited me inside, I realized then what he wanted and I got out ASAP. 

I didn't stick around for that.


----------



## ccpowerslave

She'sStillGotIt said:


> My husband has *never *thought to check a woman's hands for rings just because it's never occurred to him, not because he's some kind of low life.


I always check just to satisfy my curiosity because if I was single I wouldn’t make a pass at a woman wearing a ring on her left ring finger.

In some situations it provides additional info. Ex. Attractive woman at happy hour sitting by herself, no ring, nurses a single glass of wine for two hours and nobody shows up to sit with her. She glances around a bit. My guess would be she’s trying to hook up. Same situation but woman wearing a ring and my guess is she’s killing time waiting for husband or girlfriend(s).


----------



## ConanHub

Another TJ but I only check for a ring out of curiosity if a woman is flirting with me or making a pass. Otherwise, I'm just looking at butts.😉


----------



## tech-novelist

Openminded said:


> What is it with arrogant, gorgeous surgeons; maybe it’s the God complex plus they know they’re gorgeous and they feel they can do whatever they please.


Yes, that is it.


----------



## tech-novelist

staceymj86 said:


> I look younger than I am so I’m getting hit on all the time, even though I wear my engagement ring all the time. No matter what I wear or how my hair is done it happens constantly. I work more than I go anywhere so that’s where it constantly happens. I’m not a people person, but I do speak back and let men know I’m unavailable and if they keep pressing that *I have 8 kids with 6 different fathers*. It don’t help that my daughter is a carbon copy of me, just a shade darker than me.


I'm not sure *that *would convince anyone that you were unavailable.
Just sayin'...


----------



## In Absentia

jonty30 said:


> When I was young and stupid, I decided to visit the Alberta Legislative grounds at night because of the water fountains. I was invited up to some guy's apartment, and I was naive about homosexuality. So, I went to his apartment and, when we got there and he invited me inside, I realized then what he wanted and I got out ASAP.
> 
> I didn't stick around for that.


One asked me if I "smoked"... smoked what? I said... and he pointed at his "package"...


----------



## Gabriel

bobert said:


> She's a redhead and effortlessly pretty (but not in an intimidating way). Most of the men who hit on her are not white. It's predominantly black men (who have a thing for redheads, for whatever reason) or men who moved here from South America, Afghanistan, the Philippines, etc. I'm guessing it's because they don't have redheads "back home" (she's been called exotic by them quite a few times) but I could be wrong.
> 
> She also looks younger than she is. She's 35 but I don't think anyone would ever guess that. I'm not sure that works in her favor (yet), because some people think she's in high school


That totally makes sense.


----------



## Gabriel

Smiling is also a huge factor. People who are naturally smiling a lot get hit on more. A smiling person is not only more attractive, they come off as way more approachable.

As a younger person, my wife smiled all the time when she spoke, or was approached, etc. She couldn't help it. I mistook it for flirting sometimes, and would be irritated that she was coming off as available to people. Needless to say, I am not a naturally smiley person, and hence, didn't get a lot of random inquisitions, lol.


----------



## Blondilocks

ConanHub said:


> Another TJ but I only check for a ring out of curiosity if a woman is flirting with me or making a pass. Otherwise, I'm just looking at butts.😉


 Um, erm, isn't that kinda hard to do when you're face to face? I know you're flexible and all that, but...


----------



## ConanHub

Blondilocks said:


> Um, erm, isn't that kinda hard to do when you're face to face? I know you're flexible and all that, but...


Oh. At that point I just use my hands and pretend to be vision impaired. How else are blind men supposed to check a lady's derriere???😉😋🤣


----------



## Al_Bundy

heartsbeating said:


> I haven't noticed or experienced this either, and hence my interest with being nosy and starting this thread. The only times I've been approached have been in clubs/bars without Batman, which is a rare occasion, or through work, and few and far between; not just out and about running errands.
> 
> A few weeks ago, he came home and mentioned the brief conversation he had with the store person and which kind of led to her going out of her way to get the item he wanted; and which wasn't his intention, but he appreciated it. Being immature, I was teasing that she only does that for the handsome guys with cute accents. He shook his head. Conversely, sometimes when I'm heading out, he'll comment on how good I look and say, 'Try not to get hit on...' And then I shake my head.


Maybe you haven't noticed or experienced it because it usually looks like normal conversation? You see two people talking but assume they must know each other. 

Also, for every guy that doesn't care about a wedding ring there are a hundred others that will quickly and politely disengage as soon as they spot it.


----------



## ConanHub

Al_Bundy said:


> Maybe you haven't noticed or experienced it because it usually looks like normal conversation? You see two people talking but assume they must know each other.
> 
> Also, for every guy that doesn't care about a wedding ring there are a hundred others that will quickly and politely disengage as soon as they spot it.



I would be very surprised if the Catwoman wasn't hit on or flirted with to test the waters often.

She and the Batman probably notice how others interact with their mate more than themselves being directly hit on.

I could be off but I really think they are mostly focused on each other.😉


----------



## TXTrini

manowar said:


> Was there one guy? think back.....
> 
> Maybe not enough single/divorced guys saw the change in status. But this is pretty common.


Nope. Then again, I simply changed my status, I didn't exactly announce my divorce (I barely post anything at all). I recently talked to an old gamer friend, but completely platonic. He's also very much married and very decent.


----------



## notmyjamie

bobert said:


> She's a redhead and effortlessly pretty (but not in an intimidating way). Most of the men who hit on her are not white. It's predominantly black men (who have a thing for redheads, for whatever reason) or men who moved here from South America, Afghanistan, the Philippines, etc. I'm guessing it's because they don't have redheads "back home" (she's been called exotic by them quite a few times) but I could be wrong.
> 
> She also looks younger than she is. She's 35 but I don't think anyone would ever guess that. I'm not sure that works in her favor (yet), because some people think she's in high school


Oh yes…in my club days I got hit on 4:1 foreigners/black men to white guys. There’s something about a redhead I guess. There are plenty of white guys though who want to bag a redhead at least once as if it’s something to check off. Weird.


----------



## ConanHub

notmyjamie said:


> Oh yes…in my club days I got hit on 4:1 foreigners/black men to white guys. There’s something about a redhead I guess. There are plenty of white guys though who want to bag a redhead at least once as if it’s something to check off. Weird.


I've been literally chased by a redhead but I outran her!😳


----------



## heartsbeating

Al_Bundy said:


> Maybe you haven't noticed or experienced it because it usually looks like normal conversation? You see two people talking but assume they must know each other.
> 
> Also, for every guy that doesn't care about a wedding ring there are a hundred others that will quickly and politely disengage as soon as they spot it.


Sure, it’s possible.


----------



## heartsbeating

Blondilocks said:


> Was this the time you were wearing Batman's sweats and they fell to your ankles while trying to juggle your coffees?🤣


Wasn’t wearing them that day 🤣. Touched that you remembered!


----------



## bobert

notmyjamie said:


> There are plenty of white guys though who want to bag a redhead at least once as if it’s something to check off. Weird


Years ago I had a friend who banged a redhead that also had dwarfism... Two things checked off the list at once


----------



## Al_Bundy

bobert said:


> Years ago I had a friend who banged a redhead that also had dwarfism... Two things checked off the list at once


Slow clap for your friend.


----------



## Al_Bundy

notmyjamie said:


> Oh yes…in my club days I got hit on 4:1 foreigners/black men to white guys. There’s something about a redhead I guess. There are plenty of white guys though who want to bag a redhead at least once as if it’s something to check off. Weird.


I think that's because redheads tend to be either smoking hot or total sh*tshow. So when you find a hot one, you better bury the hammer as soon as you can before midnight.


----------



## heartsbeating

ConanHub said:


> I would be very surprised if the Catwoman wasn't hit on or flirted with to test the waters often.


it doesn’t happen in daily encounters. As far as I’m aware.



ConanHub said:


> She and the Batman probably notice how others interact with their mate more than themselves being directly hit on.
> 
> I could be off but I really think they are mostly focused on each other.😉


Your sentiment gives me the warm and fuzzies, and I appreciate your intention.

However, others here are just as into their spouses, yourself included, and these experiences occur. And from various posts I’ve read here, including most recent from @Luckylucky in another thread, I was interested to hear of the circumstances (and from the basis it’s not actively encouraged) as it’s just not been my experience and I got all nosy about it.


----------



## Cletus

Al_Bundy said:


> I think that's because redheads tend to be either smoking hot or total sh*tshow. So when you find a hot one, you better bury the hammer as soon as you can before midnight.


A friend of mine has observed that most redheads go through a metamorphosis from smoking hot to total ****show at some point in their life. It's like a switch gets thrown.


----------



## staceymj86

bobert said:


> My wife is a nurse so you can imagine the comments she got. Patients or their families frequently asked if she was old enough, how old she was, asked for someone else, assumed she was a student, aide or assistant, etc.
> 
> Outside of work, lots of "is the homeowner home", "lots of babies having babies these days", "are you the nanny?" type stuff. She's not a fan!


Yes I can definitely understand how she feel.


----------



## staceymj86

LATERILUS79 said:


> I thought about this one for a bit.
> 
> I’m not 100% sure I can think of a situation where I’ve been hit on before - married or unmarried. I had one seriously weird/messed up situation happen when I was delivering pizza in college, but other than that, I’m not noticing if/when it happens. I don’t pick up subtle things from women. I’ve been told here from other members that I have had women hit on me in the past, so I can only take their word for it.
> 
> as for my wife, she is pretty much like me. I witnessed her being hit on one time in college. We were at a bar and I went the bathroom. Came out and saw some guy talking to her. I informed him to leave. He did. My wife tells me of only one other time she’s been hit on while she was at a park. That was 10 years ago.
> 
> I’ve always been skeptical as I consider my wife to be a pretty lady. I assume this happens all the time. She swears otherwise. She tells me she puts off the vibe of “don’t talk to me”. I’m sure all you gals have that mode setting.


I call my look resting ***** face. It works every time. I try to give off the don’t bother me look but wearing a mask don’t show it as much vs without the mask.


----------



## LATERILUS79

staceymj86 said:


> I call my look resting *** face. It works every time. I try to give off the don’t bother me look but wearing a mask don’t show it as much vs without the mask.


Pretty sure I do the same thing. Does a great job of warding off 75% of all people. It’s only the ultra extroverts that fight through my first line of defense.


----------



## staceymj86

tech-novelist said:


> I'm not sure *that *would convince anyone that you were unavailable.
> Just sayin'...


It’s worked majority of the time, especially with guys around my age range or the ones who looked liked a bum. I haven’t used that line since before COVID.


----------



## notmyjamie

Al_Bundy said:


> I think that's because redheads tend to be either smoking hot or total sh*tshow. So when you find a hot one, you better bury the hammer as soon as you can before midnight.


As a redhead I’m not sure how to take that. LOL


----------



## heartsbeating

ccpowerslave said:


> I go to a high end store but it is next to a senior center so a good mix of non-land whales but also older folks. I find the older folks to be more chatty despite then fact I’m often wearing metal t-shirts. I had one lady call me Mr. Megadeth, she said “Mr. Megadeth are you the end of the line?” I said yes ma’am I am! BTW she was not hitting on me (I think).


Admittedly, I’m not keen on the term land whale that’s appeared in the thread, and first time I’ve heard that.

Yet I liked that the lady referred to you as ‘Mr Megadeth’ 😆 I think that’s funny.


----------



## Blondilocks

notmyjamie said:


> As a redhead I’m not sure how to take that. LOL


You know exactly how to take it (mentally extend your middle finger). Boo to those who are dissing redheads. Next they'll be bangin' on about dumb blondes.


----------



## In Absentia

Al_Bundy said:


> I think that's because redheads tend to be either smoking hot or total sh*tshow. So when you find a hot one, you better bury the hammer as soon as you can before midnight.


I had a red-headed girlfriend once... didn't last long...


----------



## Numb26

Al_Bundy said:


> I think that's because redheads tend to be either smoking hot or total sh*tshow. So when you find a hot one, you better bury the hammer as soon as you can before midnight.


Can confirm!!!


----------



## Blondilocks

Are you guys getting a little secret thrill when you get to diss women in the ladies lounge?


----------



## In Absentia

Blondilocks said:


> Are you guys getting a little secret thrill when you get to diss women in the ladies lounge?


Are we in the Ladies' Lounge? I hadn't noticed... I think I'better delete my comment...


----------



## Talker67

TXTrini said:


> Are you sure?
> 
> I never noticed when I was married, bc I didn't expect or encourage it. I thought men were just being nice to me because people in general are. Some men approached me when I was out... in the grocery, hardware, plant shop etc even when I wore my ring (sometimes especially I forgot).
> 
> Before anyone gets butthurt, my ex didn't always wear his ring, so I figured what was good for the goose was good for the gander.


yes this.
i can never tell, i guess my radar is down. but then a couple days later it hits me "hey, was that woman hitting on me?"


----------



## ConanHub

Yeah. I'm not sure about the redhead comments.

I have several redheads in my family and they rock!


----------



## Numb26

ConanHub said:


> Yeah. I'm not sure about the redhead comments.
> 
> I have several redheads in my family and they rock!


Coming from an expert on dating redheads what is said is true. There is no in between when it comes to redheads


----------



## Divinely Favored

Blondilocks said:


> Believe it or not, I do get hit on occassionally. Even though I'm widowed I still wear my wedding rings. I have a standard reply - No. I don't care if they know I'm widowed, I still have my rings on and would never accept a date with a guy who would hit on a woman wearing wedding rings. WTH are they thinking?


Exactly! My wife and i both believe the vow, "Do I pronise to forsake all others, till death do you part" means in the 1st person I. Not we part, I part. It is spoken as an individual vow, not as a team vow. Hence i will forsake all others until i part this world. Neither would remarry and would continue to wear out wedding bands.


----------



## Divinely Favored

Luckylucky said:


> You might be surprised, you may be hit on and you don’t know it.
> 
> It happens to me, I seem to get a lot of men trying to help me. Sometimes a husband’s friend might make a teasing remark and I’ve had some downright inappropriate comments from his friends. They get silence and a stare so bad I think they fear me a bit.
> 
> Or just generally a male can approach when I’m buying a coffee or doing shopping. I mean really, is there a need to strike up a conversation when I’m pushing a trolley??
> 
> I never even have to say, ‘I’m married’, I’m just very rude and don’t engage and walk off. They don’t need to know I’m married or anything personal at all. The men that approach and try to help me just get a firm, ‘No I don’t need help’ in a tone that makes them scurry away.
> 
> I don’t like the attention, I don’t seek it, and I don’t get a spring in my step thinking ‘I’ve still got it. I feel a bit sad when it happens to be honest. Almost unclean. Flattery really does nothing for me. (Except when my husband flatters me, that makes me feel invincible!!)
> 
> Sometimes in social situations, a man will be with his wife and direct most of the conversations to me, and beside him is a gorgeous wife just sitting there being ignored. I move, or start ignoring him and then start a conversation with his wife if I’m unable to get up.
> 
> I don’t care that I’m being rude, I’m not a rude person to my kids and husband. I’ve got plenty of energy for them and aim to give them my best. I won’t give my best to others, no way. I’m sure a lot of people will stand at my grave and say ‘she was a stuck up little bee’. I don’t feel bad at all that I’m not very nice to most men. I don’t hate men, I just remove myself from situations where a small interaction could upset my husband.
> 
> You hear stories of people saying how their wife is consoling the poor neighbour and she can’t find it in her heart to be mean to him. But the husband is working hard and feeling little and small because wife is so busy bringing food to sad neighbour. And she’s got nothing left for him when he comes home and she can’t listen to his day at work stories because neighbour’s texting about another issue. She’s just so nice! (But she’s not, she loves the feeling of being the little saviour, the nice lady that helps people).
> 
> It’s totally ok to offend people and go home and be nice to your loved ones. Maybe not ok to slap a man who says things your husband would deck him for, because who’d believe the woman’s version. Just be a lady and exit quickly.


Being a rude B to someone who may be trying to be neighborly is NOT being a lady. It is ensuring that the next time they see you on the side of the road with a flat tire, they are not stopping.


----------



## Blondilocks

Numb26 said:


> Coming from an expert on dating redheads what is said is true. There is no in between when it comes to redheads


Some people bring out the best in others and some people bring out the worst. If every redhead you dated was batshit crazy, you need to look in the mirror.


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## Numb26

Blondilocks said:


> Some people bring out the best in others and some people bring out the worst. If every redhead you dated was batshit crazy, you need to look in the mirror.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 When did I mention that the redheads I have dated were crazy? I was talking about looks.


----------



## Divinely Favored

Diana7 said:


> I am the same. I always like to be friendly to people when I am out and about. A smile, a good morning/ afternoon, chatting to people who work in shops/cafés, for many it's the way they are and it cheers people up.
> All completely innocent.


Same here, im tge social butterfly, never met a stranger type(got it from dad). I wave at folks drivibg down the street and greet/speak to people in grocery stores. If i had someone act the way some say they do to people talking to them i would have to tell them not to flatter themselves....i was just being neighborly. 
I strike up conversations all the time at stores/gas stations with men/women of all races, what ever. Aint none of it hitting on them. If they acted like an ass in the store, then they can change her own flat or call for help because i do not stop for rude asses.


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## Divinely Favored

But not by all of them.


----------



## Divinely Favored

Blondilocks said:


> Some people bring out the best in others and some people bring out the worst. If every redhead you dated was batshit crazy, you need to look in the mirror.


They typically range from wild to BSC. 10% are normal maybe. Tell my boys if red and brown eyes! Run! Like your life depends on it!


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## Blondilocks

Numb26 said:


> 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 When did I mention that the redheads I have dated were crazy? I was talking about looks.


My apology for misreading you.


----------



## heartsbeating

Divinely Favored said:


> Being a rude B to someone who may be trying to be neighborly is NOT being a lady. It is ensuring that the next time they see you on the side of the road with a flat tire, they are not stopping.


Offering a different perspective here, in that we learn different ways of responding to situations and people as shaped through our world view, and perhaps the 'feedback' we receive from others / circumstances. I doubt that Lucky is concerned about whether she is considered a lady or not. I also don't think she needs to feel any particular way about being perceived as a rude B. If men decide to hit on her, she owes them nothing in terms of response. Too often I feel that from a young age, girls are typically taught to be agreeable, nice, and polite, leaning towards people pleasers. To me, Lucky is indicating that she is not a people pleaser. From what she has shared, she is not engaging with them and instead trying to ignore and continue on her way. At some point, she has learned this is the best way to handle that attention. There has also been mention that others have made their interest known in front of her husband. My interpretation is that she has no interest in being 'nice' to save face of another, and seemingly at her own expense in terms of energy. She has learned how to navigate being hit on in a way that works authentically for her. I see no issue with that. There may also be differences with location and social norms at play. If she was at the side of the road with a flat tire, I suspect she would handle things herself just fine.

There is joking within the thread about saying hello to people as crossing paths while walking. As far as I'm concerned, that's mentioned in having a bit of fun here. And I don't think (or hope not, at least) that anyone perceives a passing hello (and without the double-take turn around haha) as being hit on.


----------



## notmyjamie

Divinely Favored said:


> They typically range from wild to BSC. 10% are normal maybe. Tell my boys if red and brown eyes! Run! Like your life depends on it!


Ouch. What about red with blue eyes??? LOL


----------



## Divinely Favored

notmyjamie said:


> Ouch. What about red with blue eyes??? LOL


She was my cryptonite, the one that cut deeply. Then again i guess i was nieve to think a 34yr old divorced nympho redhead would would want a 23yr old young man for more than a sex toy. Kind burned me on Redheads after i went over to her house late one night and she was occupied with another man.

Should have know when we returned from club one night and her 35yr old brunette bestie walks in to the BR in a black teddie inquiring what i thought about sleeping in her room that night. I am a one woman man and wondered if it was a test...no she was gonna lend me out or slide me over to friend as friend and i were both looking for LTR and Red just wanted to play the field it appears.

I brought up Brown eyes because everyone i know with brown eyes are on the wild side/get into trouble.....both men and women. Combine that with redhead ...Oh Brother! ...Somebody's gonna kiss the donkey!


----------



## ConanHub

notmyjamie said:


> Ouch. What about red with blue eyes??? LOL


We have red/blue, red/brown and red/green.
We are pretty athletic at least when younger and hard to outrun.😉😋


----------



## jonty30

notmyjamie said:


> Ouch. What about red with blue eyes??? LOL


Flaming red hair and green eyes is a most pleasing combination.


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## notmyjamie

Divinely Favored said:


> She was my cryptonite, the one that cut deeply. Then again i guess i was nieve to think a 34yr old divorced nympho redhead would would want a 23yr old young man for more than a sex toy. Kind burned me on Redheads after i went over to her house late one night and she was occupied with another man.
> 
> Should have know when we returned from club one night and her 35yr old brunette bestie walks in to the BR in a black teddie inquiring what i thought about sleeping in her room that night. I am a one woman man and wondered if it was a test...no she was gonna lend me out or slide me over to friend as friend and i were both looking for LTR and Red just wanted to play the field it appears.
> 
> I brought up Brown eyes because everyone i know with brown eyes are on the wild side/get into trouble.....both men and women. Combine that with redhead ...Oh Brother! ...Somebody's gonna kiss the donkey!


Well, she doesn’t sound like your type for sure. Do you honestly think all redheads are like that? I’ve got some serious lifestyle changes to make if that’s how I’m supposed to be living my life!!


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## 2&out

Hmm. Married a redhead with green eyes. My kids are redheads with brown eyes. If ya can't handle the heat stay out of the kitchen. I did have to get out eventually... but had some (a lot) great fun and she was a serious showpiece. Guys drooled and most women scowled -- lol.


----------



## 346745

Blondilocks said:


> Believe it or not, I do get hit on occassionally. Even though I'm widowed I still wear my wedding rings. I have a standard reply - No. I don't care if they know I'm widowed, I still have my rings on and would never accept a date with a guy who would hit on a woman wearing wedding rings. WTH are they thinking?


They're thinking they may strike gold because not every woman wearing a wedding ring honors her vows. Just like some married men don't, either. That's my guess.


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## Divinely Favored

heartsbeating said:


> Offering a different perspective here, in that we learn different ways of responding to situations and people as shaped through our world view, and perhaps the 'feedback' we receive from others / circumstances. I doubt that Lucky is concerned about whether she is considered a lady or not. I also don't think she needs to feel any particular way about being perceived as a rude B. If men decide to hit on her, she owes them nothing in terms of response. Too often I feel that from a young age, girls are typically taught to be agreeable, nice, and polite, leaning towards people pleasers. To me, Lucky is indicating that she is not a people pleaser. From what she has shared, she is not engaging with them and instead trying to ignore and continue on her way. At some point, she has learned this is the best way to handle that attention. There has also been mention that others have made their interest known in front of her husband. My interpretation is that she has no interest in being 'nice' to save face of another, and seemingly at her own expense in terms of energy. She has learned how to navigate being hit on in a way that works authentically for her. I see no issue with that. There may also be differences with location and social norms at play. If she was at the side of the road with a flat tire, I suspect she would handle things herself just fine.
> 
> There is joking within the thread about saying hello to people as crossing paths while walking. As far as I'm concerned, that's mentioned in having a bit of fun here. And I don't think (or hope not, at least) that anyone perceives a passing hello (and without the double-take turn around haha) as being hit on.


I was responding to her stating being a lady and leaving after making comments to someone that tried to speak to her in tge store and her saying she has no issue with people thinking she is rude or a B. 

She may be meaning to those actually hitting on her but it was said like she treats all who might speak to her that way. I talk to just about anyone at some point or another. Many people are greatful for example my pointing out buying spring water is healthier than filtered drinking water. And coorelation of minerals in spring water causing it to be more alkaline instead of acidic like drinking water. How cancer thrives in acidic body conditions and spring water helps move body's PH level to alkaline and helping fight against cancer growth.

For one to be pissy that i spoke to them when i was trying to reveal to them a better choice in a product just throws me for a loop.


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## Divinely Favored

notmyjamie said:


> Well, she doesn’t sound like your type for sure. Do you honestly think all redheads are like that? I’ve got some serious lifestyle changes to make if that’s how I’m supposed to be living my life!!


No not all but most i have known. Were either wild or somewhat unstable/temper.


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## heartsbeating

Divinely Favored said:


> I was responding to her stating being a lady and leaving after making comments to someone that tried to speak to her in tge store and her saying she has no issue with people thinking she is rude or a B.
> 
> She may be meaning to those actually hitting on her but it was said like she treats all who might speak to her that way. I talk to just about anyone at some point or another. Many people are greatful for example my pointing out buying spring water is healthier than filtered drinking water. And coorelation of minerals in spring water causing it to be more alkaline instead of acidic like drinking water. How cancer thrives in acidic body conditions and spring water helps move body's PH level to alkaline and helping fight against cancer growth.
> 
> For one to be pissy that i spoke to them when i was trying to reveal to them a better choice in a product just throws me for a loop.


I thought about the example you gave of how you might interact with another. As mentioned, I don't typically have men approach to start conversations, or try to hit on me; and I'm not suggesting that's your intention when conversing with others. However, if I was selecting drinks from the aisle and a guy came up and provided the info you gave above, I will admit that within seconds a bunch of stuff would be going through my mind - and for the peanut gallery - it wouldn't matter whether I perceived him as physically attractive or not. I'd be quickly taking in factors to determine the best way to wrap up the interaction in order to move on. Maybe I'm a rude bee too, yet I don't think so.

However, as far as being community-spirited, I thought of an interaction whereby during a power outage I was at the store when there were more than 5 people there. They'd already run out of a bunch of stuff like candles and batteries for flashlights. There was a man being helped by staff when I was asking about candles/supplies. I'd gone to another aisle when he came up and handed me one of the last packs of candles. He'd already picked up the last 2 packs when he overheard me asking staff. I asked if he was sure, and he confirmed. He reminded me there's 'fancy' candles at another nearby store if I needed more, which I'd forgotten about. I thanked him. He continued on. Nothing flirty about it whatsoever and I appreciated the gesture. I did go to the other store for the fancy candles, which I've bought before. Another woman was there selecting candles, and I initiated friendly and brief conversation about the candle fragrances and power situation. When she went to pay, she accidentally took the empty display box to the counter. I heard the staff telling her there were none of that type left. I had one in my hand, and given I've had them before, stepped forward and suggested she have it and I'd pick another. She thanked me but declined. Maybe she was trying to determine the best way to wrap up the interaction


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## heartsbeating

Divinely Favored said:


> I talk to just about anyone at some point or another. Many people are greatful for example my pointing out buying spring water is healthier than filtered drinking water. And coorelation of minerals in spring water causing it to be more alkaline instead of acidic like drinking water. How cancer thrives in acidic body conditions and spring water helps move body's PH level to alkaline and helping fight against cancer growth.


That is, unless you worked at the store - and then I'd likely respond along the lines of 'Okay, I'll keep that in mind'. You might just be more friendly, I'm extroverted but somewhat cat-like.


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## Marc878

Blondilocks said:


> Believe it or not, I do get hit on occassionally. Even though I'm widowed I still wear my wedding rings. I have a standard reply - No. I don't care if they know I'm widowed, I still have my rings on and would never accept a date with a guy who would hit on a woman wearing wedding rings. WTH are they thinking?


It’s because you’re 37.


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## Talker67

Numb26 said:


> 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 When did I mention that the redheads I have dated were crazy? I was talking about looks.


GINGERS!!!!


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## Blondilocks

I have personally known a few Aussie ladies and they rock! Aussie lassies aren't like American gals. They have enjoyed more equality in their country than women in America. They are more self-assured and don't feel the need to coddle their men.

If they come off as brusque, please keep the cultural differences in mind.


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## notmyjamie

Divinely Favored said:


> No not all but most i have known. Were either wild or somewhat unstable/temper.


Well, the stereotype does exist fir a reason I suppose. I will admit I can get very angry/have a temper, but it takes a lot to get me there. I don’t get super mad over every little thing. I choose my battles wisely…if you harm or screw over my kids, I will unleash my red headedness for sure.


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## Numb26

notmyjamie said:


> Well, the stereotype does exist fir a reason I suppose. I will admit I can get very angry/have a temper, but it takes a lot to get me there. I don’t get super mad over every little thing. I choose my battles wisely…if you harm or screw over my kids, I will unleash my red headedness for sure.


Yes, the stereotype definitely exists for a reason. 😉


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## Divinely Favored

heartsbeating said:


> That is, unless you worked at the store - and then I'd likely respond along the lines of 'Okay, I'll keep that in mind'. You might just be more friendly, I'm extroverted but somewhat cat-like.


Being from the South most people are neighborly. Usually we all ***** about Wal-Mart rearranging isles to each other becausr you cant find things. Many times women approach me to get things for them off top shelf, 6'05". Or if i see someone looking for some thing i might ask them what and help them look, especially elderly. Some folks are leary of the linebacker size guy with a gun and badge on, that as my son says, all his friends thought i looked like a pissed off cop. He used to say, if they only knew....as i am wiping tears from my eyes during the Halmark movie or even the cartoon UP! Im the hopeless romantic that loves weddings and chick flix. I have rubbed off on my 16 yr old....he loves chick flix too.


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## heartsbeating

Divinely Favored said:


> Being from the South most people are neighborly. Usually we all *** about Wal-Mart rearranging isles to each other becausr you cant find things. Many times women approach me to get things for them off top shelf, 6'05". Or if i see someone looking for so.ething i might ask them and help them look, especially elderly. Some times they are leary of the linebacker size guy with a gun and badge on that as my son says all his friends thought i looked like a pissed off cop. He used to say, if they only knew....as i am wiping my eyes during the Halmark movie or even the cartoon UP! Im the hopeless romantic that loves weddings and chick flix. I have dont rubbed off on my 16 yr old....he loves chick flix too.


About getting things off higher shelves, I revel in my creativity with this. I was very tempted to ask a guy nearby recently (or debating whether to get staff) to help reach something. And instead, did some kind of move whereby I knocked the product next to the one I wanted (at the back, and too high for me) onto its side then used that to knock the one I wanted onto its side, then as the shelf was that wire-rack type, managed to guide it from underneath and slide it to the front. Then placed the other product back upright.

You sound very willing to offer to help others as you see it. I'm not knocking that quality at all and seems it is typically well received where you are. My consideration to others may be more selective, in terms of daily errands life stuff. For example, older man was fundraising while sitting outside on a cold morning. I gave a donation, then told him I was heading across the way to get myself a coffee and asked if he’d like one too (plus a bit of chat about it being cold). He took up the offer. When ordering, the barista looked surprised and asked, ‘Is that for Batman?’ Indicating his order had changed. I briefly explained. Took his coffee back over to him. He thanked me, wished each other a good day. On occasion, I will offer that kind of 'community' interaction.


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## ConanHub

Numb26 said:


> Yes, the stereotype definitely exists for a reason. 😉


What's funny is I have one of the blackest tempers available to humanity and I don't sport red hair.😉


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## Blondilocks

Y'all know that those redheads who unleash their fury could be doing the very thing that other women would do in the same circumstances, don't you? I've never met an unreasonable or easily angered redhead - they are just like any other woman.

It may be a case of confirmation bias.


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## ccpowerslave

Divinely Favored said:


> For one to be pissy that i spoke to them when i was trying to reveal to them a better choice in a product just throws me for a loop.


Unsolicited product advice from strangers will usually rub me the wrong way.


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## Divinely Favored

ccpowerslave said:


> Unsolicited product advice from strangers will usually rub me the wrong way.


Yeah some people are like whatever, but most are glad for it info. I have asked people in a burger joint(only like 3or4 customers)who owned a truck outside that was same model i had. Had them pop the hood and showed them an issue with it that needs to be dealt with every 20k miles that dealer usually charges $200 for that any one can do in 20 min. Lady was greatful....she was very pretty and a bit too friendly...hey im just helping out a fellow human save cash....im married...happily!


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## heartsbeating

Divinely Favored said:


> Yeah some people are like whatever, but most are glad for it info. I have asked people in a burger joint(only like 3or4 customers)who owned a truck outside that was same model i had. Had them pop the hood and showed them an issue with it that needs to be dealt with every 20k miles that dealer usually charges $200 for that any one can do in 20 min. Lady was greatful....she was very pretty and a bit too friendly...hey im just helping out a fellow human save cash....im married...happily!


I am finding myself feeling stranger and stranger as the thread continues. I still haven't gotten past @TXTrini receiving furtive touches on the hand at the hardware store. 

Did she just offer up that was her truck and then proceed to head out with you, pop the hood, listening and engaged? I keep placing myself into these scenarios, and if someone asked about my vehicle, sure, the first response would be to know why. If they started talking about anything other than they'd accidentally scraped my car, or they just spotted a massive spider crawling across the inside, and instead wanted to give unsolicited advice about the running of it, I'd be responding, 'Nope, I'm all good.' and without popping the hood or anything.


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## heartsbeating

Adding to that, which I'm sure is fairly common, I lock my car doors as soon as I get in. If man was still near my car after I'd closed off the conversation, I'd be hitting the locks even quicker. Obviously that's nothing personal against you @Divinely Favored ...more as I've said before, we learn to navigate the world through our experiences. And while I consider the majority of people are good, not everyone is. And so, that's another aspect of how I personally would respond.


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## Divinely Favored

heartsbeating said:


> Adding to that, which I'm sure is fairly common, I lock my car doors as soon as I get in. If man was still near my car after I'd closed off the conversation, I'd be hitting the locks even quicker. Obviously that's nothing personal against you @Divinely Favored ...more as I've said before, we learn to navigate the world through our experiences. And while I consider the majority of people are good, not everyone is. And so, that's another aspect of how I personally would respond.


During the week i am in business casual with a gun, badge and pepper spray. When i approach someone at first they think they did something wrong. Also location makes a big difference. People in big cities tend not to be as friendly as my rural town of 1,700 or the town i work of 25k.


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## ccpowerslave

Divinely Favored said:


> People in big cities tend not to be as friendly…


If a stranger approaches you here in a public place it is almost always a scam to get money or they’re a legit loony. In a few cases they’re a drunk asshole.

None of these are good.


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## In Absentia

Wot? Talking to people? No way!


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## Numb26

ccpowerslave said:


> If a stranger approaches you here in a public place it is almost always a scam to get money or they’re a legit loony. In a few cases they’re a drunk asshole.
> 
> None of these are good.


That has been my experience too


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## Divinely Favored

With that kind of crap im glad i live in rural area, about 50 mi from Gwen and Blake's new house.

Our downfall gonna be with marijuana. Now you can get a card...we have 3x more weed shops that liquor stores. They are trying to get recreational on ballot this go around. They also made possession of meth a misd. and doubled amount that one can steal before it becomes felony. How screwed is that. Have to start shooting methheads stealing your crap to sell for dope. And this from a state that not a single county carried the Democrat choice for pres. Completely red state. WTH!


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## joannacroc

Divinely Favored said:


> They typically range from wild to BSC. 10% are normal maybe. Tell my boys if red and brown eyes! Run! Like your life depends on it!


If they have eyes that are red and brown that WOULD be cause for concern, I agree.


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## ccpowerslave

joannacroc said:


> If they have eyes that are red and brown that WOULD be cause for concern, I agree.


I was watching Season 2 of Line of Duty with my wife recently and there is an actress on there with green eyes with a brown splotch in one of her irises maybe both I can’t remember. Complete knockout, maybe a tad on the thin side for me but she was beautiful. Wife was not as impressed 😉

My mom has blue eyes with green in them. I kind of inherited the same eye color. I actually was an eye model for something not even kidding.


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## Divinely Favored

joannacroc said:


> If they have eyes that are red and brown that WOULD be cause for concern, I agree.


Yeah they are probably drunk or stoned.


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## Enigma32

Went out for a few drinks last night and some girl offered...what's the polite word for this....breast sex? I met her once before but didn't really know her. She is a friend of some friends.


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## Divinely Favored

ccpowerslave said:


> I was watching Season 2 of Line of Duty with my wife recently and there is an actress on there with green eyes with a brown splotch in one of her irises maybe both I can’t remember. Complete knockout, maybe a tad on the thin side for me but she was beautiful. Wife was not as impressed 😉
> 
> My mom has blue eyes with green in them. I kind of inherited the same eye color. I actually was an eye model for something not even kidding.


Heterochromia can be a spot in one, both or one iris a different color all together. Looks 😎 in my book. Only met 2-3 young ladies with it. Makes them unique from the crowd. But i am an eye man. My wifes baby blues are what hooked me.

If you ever saw Kinsi on NCIS-LA...She has a birth mark in her eye. One is black. Other is a light goldish brown, she wears brown contacts so it is not as obvious on camera.


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## ConanHub

Well. A very interesting situation just happened.

Mrs. C and I are in Rapid City SD and planning on seeing Mt Rushmore tomorrow. 

We got a nice hotel with a restaurant and large gas firepit outside for dining.

This wasn't a direct hit but I was definitely being checked out for some action.

So Mrs C and I place our order and sit out by the fire. We are both on our phones for the first few minutes and might appear like colleagues instead of man and wife.

An attractive blonde in the 40 range came out and sat down opposite us and started small talk.

I definitely got signals from her that she was receptive to me but upon learning we were together, she excused herself saying she had to go out with her partner to eat. Mrs. C had invited her to join us.

I later went in to settle our ticket and saw the blonde sitting next to a very attractive brunette at the bar.

They were not eating, just drinking and looking a little down. 

A single Conan might have been in for an interesting evening. 😁


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## heartsbeating

Blondilocks said:


> Believe it or not, I do get hit on occassionally. Even though I'm widowed I still wear my wedding rings. I have a standard reply - No. I don't care if they know I'm widowed, I still have my rings on and would never accept a date with a guy who would hit on a woman wearing wedding rings. WTH are they thinking?


Your post came to mind.

Either the guy was checking my ring finger, or looking at my phone case. Pub lunch with girlfriends, I went up to the bar to order a drink. Guy was there before me, waiting. Peripheral vision, thought he was looking at me. I was looking straight ahead at the bar. Again in my periphery, noticed that he turned to face me and felt he may have been taking a good look. The ladies might get when I write that I didn't feel creepy vibes, just that he was looking my way. For situational awareness, I did the side-eye microsecond glance and he was glancing down to what seemed like either my ring finger (and I wear rings)... or he was checking out my phone case. I looked forward again; no eye contact exchanged. Noticed he turned back around. Then he ordered his drink. Coincidentally, I ordered the same non-alcoholic drink and again through my periphery, seemed he was looking my way. I'd already done the situational glance, so just ignored it. No issues there. He didn't attempt to approach me. If he had, I likely would also have thought WTH?


----------



## Julie's Husband

Well, since heartsbeating still has the thread open, I'll add my bit.

I am very sociable and friendly as long as it is at arm's distance, but I am painfully shy when things get personal with women. I am very inhibited about flirting. Doesn't happen. So I went into total shock when I began getting aggressively hit on by women over a short period of time.

I was able to deflect a co worker cuddling up into me while we were in a fast food line and a woman at a bar asking me to take her to her room. (Called a cab for her.)

But then a very young woman I knew gave me the key to her hotel room. Two days later my ex (EX) sister-in-law reserved motel rooms when I was showing her and my brother around Monterey and booked me into a single bed room with one of her coworkers who was a total stranger to me. No warning, no consideration that I was painfully shy. About a month later my co worker's girlfriend arranged a blind hook up.

After that I spent all my time getting to know my wife to be and intentionally not being available. I tell my wife she is my safe harbor from those nasty ladies. 

I don't know whether I've been hit on since marrying as I intentionally don't pay attention. Oh, wait, when I was serving wine at a community event a woman told me the drunker she gets the hornier she gets and locked eyes. I hope she found someone.


----------



## TBT

Has the definition or approach of being hit on changed with social/societal changes through the decades? I mean Paul Anka was singing Puppy Love in the late '50s, but a decade later it was all about free love. I've had a broad range in the way I've been approached over the years, from subtle to blatant.


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## heartsbeating

Well… Batman got us coffee. The barista had written on the side of the disposable cups to show which coffee was for whom.

Mine said: Extra hot
His said: Not hot.

Two of the women had fun with this and indicated on his that ‘Sally and Sarah disagree with this.’ Can’t blame them but seems I need to ensure I’m up first to get us coffee now. I’m joking. Or am I? 😛


----------



## heartsbeating

TBT said:


> Has the definition or approach of being hit on changed with social/societal changes through the decades? I mean Paul Anka was singing Puppy Love in the late '50s, but a decade later it was all about free love. I've had a broad range in the way I've been approached over the years, from subtle to blatant.


It’s interesting to consider. Surely it would have as a result of social movements and norms, including the popularity of online dating.


----------



## Deejo

Blondilocks said:


> Believe it or not, I do get hit on occassionally. Even though I'm widowed I still wear my wedding rings. I have a standard reply - No. I don't care if they know I'm widowed, I still have my rings on and would never accept a date with a guy who would hit on a woman wearing wedding rings. WTH are they thinking?


They are thinking that you're hot. And hoping that you are widowed, or that your husband is pr!ck that takes you for granted.


----------



## Deejo

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


Game I used to play in both of my marriages, _note to self to NOT play that game any more_ was to ask my spouses if they were aware that they were attractive and how often they got checked out. I asked if they noticed, and both said, 'not really'. If out shopping I'd drop behind them, or if at a restaurant, event, lounge whatever, I'd suggest they go stroll to the washroom, or go get us a couple of drinks. 

Then I'd just observe. They ALWAYS got checked out. It was never overt approaches, (except for when MR was fronting the band, she definitely got hit on) but it was often a glance, a once over, an up and down, or on occasion a smile.

The game was about making them aware they were attractive without my having to say they were attractive. Occasionally they would come back and say, "Well?" and I'd point out the guys, and also, that woman over there definitely thinks you're a b!tch.


----------



## heartsbeating

Deejo said:


> Game I used to play in both of my marriages, _note to self to NOT play that game any more_ was to ask my spouses if they were aware that they were attractive and how often they got checked out. I asked if they noticed, and both said, 'not really'. If out shopping I'd drop behind them, or if at a restaurant, event, lounge whatever, I'd suggest they go stroll to the washroom, or go get us a couple of drinks.
> 
> Then I'd just observe. They ALWAYS got checked out. It was never overt approaches, (except for when MR was fronting the band, she definitely got hit on) but it was often a glance, a once over, an up and down, or on occasion a smile.
> 
> The game was about making them aware they were attractive without my having to say they were attractive. Occasionally they would come back and say, "Well?" and I'd point out the guys, and also, that woman over there definitely thinks you're a b!tch.


How did this 'game' come about? And what did it mean to your spouse when they learned guys had looked at them / checked them out?

For context, I started the thread out of being nosy reading about how others reported consistently being hit on just out and about in daily life running errands and without seeking it. That's not something I have personally experienced, nor seeking those interactions (and neither were the respondents), and wondered how that occurs when purchasing cheese at the store (chuckles to @TXTrini with that one!) and then how they handled said interactions.

As far as whether I get unknowingly checked-out it wouldn't mean much to me to learn that. Perhaps in part as value was not really placed on my appearance growing up, if that makes sense, and that got embedded to a point although that doesn't mean that I don't take a level of pride in my appearance; I scrub up okay.


----------



## RandomDude

Errr, is this thread for women being hit on or men too?

For men it's much more subtle and expectant... usually


----------



## heartsbeating

RandomDude said:


> Errr, is this thread for women being hit on or men too?
> 
> For men it's much more subtle and expectant... usually


Everyone is welcome in this thread 😊


----------



## RandomDude

heartsbeating said:


> Everyone is welcome in this thread 😊


I noticed my ex's interest within 2-7 seconds, made a move and after we got together she told me she liked me within the same 2-7 seconds we shared eye contact so although one may argue there is no such thing as 'love as first sight', attraction can occur very, very fast. Women act differently when a man they are attracted to is in the vicinity, I had the same feeling immediately with the last organic encounter as well in which the attraction remains just not acted upon anymore (thankfully). Many men seem to be clueless and just fire away at random women they find attractive in the off chance she likes him back it seems.


----------



## heartsbeating

DownByTheRiver said:


> I was just sitting here reading all the responses when I started hoping that people don't think I'm hitting on them every time I'm friendly out in public, because I'm very friendly and talkative in public.


Another music-related moment that I think you'd appreciate. There's another place I've been going sporadically over the last couple of months, and with my usual style of interaction with the guy that serves me; that is, transactional yet polite aka short and sweet. Was recently there and he commented that he's noticed I typically wear music-related shirts (my casual attire) and a brief interaction about music occurred that included him sharing the genre of music he's currently into and which I asked more about in terms of specific bands/artists. He gave me the name of a particular local band. I didn't quite catch it, and so he brought them up on his phone to show me on spotify (not 'mansplaining' rather just easier for me to see the name as it was a bit quirky). When I got in the car, I lined up their music to hear what the cool kids are listening to these days. I dug it and so yay for new music recommendations.


----------



## Deejo

heartsbeating said:


> How did this 'game' come about? And what did it mean to your spouse when they learned guys had looked at them / checked them out?
> 
> For context, I started the thread out of being nosy reading about how others reported consistently being hit on just out and about in daily life running errands and without seeking it. That's not something I have personally experienced, nor seeking those interactions (and neither were the respondents), and wondered how that occurs when purchasing cheese at the store (chuckles to @TXTrini with that one!) and then how they handled said interactions.
> 
> As far as whether I get unknowingly checked-out it wouldn't mean much to me to learn that. Perhaps in part as value was not really placed on my appearance growing up, if that makes sense, and that got embedded to a point although that doesn't mean that I don't take a level of pride in my appearance; I scrub up okay.


Can't say I remember the genesis of it. But to me, it was a creative and far more effective way of demonstrating my attraction without saying, "gosh you're pretty." I never lied about it. But I suppose I could have and it still would have had the desired effect. It was always well received. Smiles, banter. Jokes. They would have me do the same and tell me I got checked out too ... and point out the guys. Was all in good fun.

In my learning the ropes and getting comfortable with 'approaching' women when I started dating my goal was simply to 'engage'. Making it clear that I found them attractive, or wanted their phone number was never the focus. Taking the step of engaging, looking for indicators of interest and closing out the engagement without expectation was how I operated. I wasn't hitting on them. But I was always curious to try and gauge if they thought I was hitting on them. I was satisfied with a pleasant exchange. Simple example I recall was at the market, and a woman was evaluating mangoes. And I was curious, "May I ask what exactly you do with the perfect mango once you have found it? I don't know a lot of mango recipes. Do you just eat them as is?" She was surprised, but smiled, and we talked for a few minutes, and I learned how to pick a mean mango, and a pretty cool mango coconut chicken recipe. And that was it. A thank you, and have a great day.

If I have ever been hit on, I was too young, stupid, and timid, to recognize or do anything about it. Actually I take that back. For about 3 months a number of years ago, a friend of MR's (she had a soft spot for strays) came to live with us after 'being asked to leave' by her boyfriend she had been living with. She was a train wreck. I have another thread in mind where she will come up again. But ... MR's friend absolutely was dropping bread crumbs to determine if I would pick them up.

I did not. So she honed in on MR's ex-husband and started dating him. No joke. She was summarily, 'asked to leave' again.


----------



## RandomDude

Deejo said:


> If I have ever been hit on, I was too young, stupid, and timid, to recognize or do anything about it. Actually I take that back. For about 3 months a number of years ago, a friend of MR's (she had a soft spot for strays) came to live with us after 'being asked to leave' by her boyfriend she had been living with. She was a train wreck. I have another thread in mind where she will come up again. But ... MR's friend absolutely was dropping bread crumbs to determine if I would pick them up.
> 
> I did not. So she honed in on MR's ex-husband and started dating him. No joke. She was summarily, 'asked to leave' again.


See? You can tell too. You just know. They leave bread crumbs, sometimes obvious sometimes subtle. I prefer subtle.

I always found it is the subconscious that picks up on the rawest of signals, but it can be foggy. To clear it up I wait for all the signals and if it establishes two facts then it's game on. The two facts I wait for are "mutual attraction" and "connection". If neither are present or the signals not match up I don't make a move. I'm cautious 😊

I think I first learnt how to use this to my advantage in my youth after approaching an absolutely stunning woman to make a sale, I could tell she was interested but still didn't trust my instincts at that time, just focused on my work, and the look of disappointment on her face and how she excused herself when she realised I was just talking her up to sell her something, well, one of my early life's most memorable regrets.


----------



## Enigma32

Being hit on. Let me see. I had an ex from several years ago recently call me out of the blue and want to get together. I declined. Another of my exes hit up a mutual friend to gauge my reaction if she were to try and hit me up. The mutual friend said not to bother. Does that count? We have a new girl at my work. She's young, 20 years old, and relatively attractive. Evidently she was talking about me to some of our co-workers (none of whom I really know all that well) and they tried to set me up with her on a date. I declined. All of this in 2 weeks in spite of, or perhaps partly because of, the fact I am with someone.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Enigma32 said:


> All of this in 2 weeks in spite of, or perhaps partly because of, the fact I am with someone


That’s when they seem to come for you. When I had been going out with my now wife for about 3 weeks this girl who used to work in the same building must have been able to tell instinctively or something and asked me if I wanted to go out with her. I had to decline. BTW I had been seeing her and talking to her for maybe 8 months before that, but just then she decides yes. Odd that…


----------



## so_sweet

If it happens to me, I don't know if I always notice it, especially if isn't really obvious. Also, I think I often have what is called a "resting b*tch face", if I'm not smiling, I look like a b*tch, and who wants to flirt with a b*itch, lol.

Hubby seems to notice it though. In the past, he'd get ticked off at the guy, tell him off and would be ready for a fight. He's gotten better about it now though.

Not too long ago, a man was extremely obvious about it. Hubby and I were walking back to the car in a parking lot, hubby slightly ahead of me with his hands full with takeout bags in one hand and a drinks tray in the other, trying to quickly get to the car.

There was a man walking towards his car, which was parked next to our car. This man got to his car and then stood there staring at me unabashedly as I walked towards our car.

Hubby noticed, stopped walking and turned his head to look at the guy, laughed out loud pretty loud and said, "You like what you see, huh?" The man actually replied, "Yes." He was very lucky my hubby didn't knock him out! I wouldn't have let him fight, but that guy had a lot of nerve!

Actually, come to think of it, maybe that man didn't think hubby and I were together since hubby was walking ahead of me and also in my area it's rare to see an interracial couple.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

RandomDude said:


> I noticed my ex's interest within 2-7 seconds, made a move and after we got together she told me she liked me within the same 2-7 seconds we shared eye contact so although one may argue there is no such thing as 'love as first sight', attraction can occur very, very fast. Women act differently when a man they are attracted to is in the vicinity, I had the same feeling immediately with the last organic encounter as well in which the attraction remains just not acted upon anymore (thankfully). Many men seem to be clueless and just fire away at random women they find attractive in the off chance she likes him back it seems.


So true. And so do women fire away at men who have given them no interest. I've been guilty.


----------



## TexasMom1216

DownByTheRiver said:


> So true. And so do women fire away at men who have given them no interest. I've been guilty.


Back in the day when I was in my early twenties and had no sense 🤣 I was guilty of it too.


----------



## Corgi Mum

Close to 60 now I sure don't get hit on but it's never been something that happened to me often even when younger.

When I was 15 we were vacationing in another city and I was walking in kind of a sketchy neighbourhood with my mother. We were stopped at lights waiting for the walk signal and some homeless guy walked up and held my hand. Fortunately the light changed so I snatched my hand back and walked away, quickly.

Same vacation, same sketchy neighbourhood (bad choice of hotel) some guy tried to BUY me from my father. I'm guessing I'd have ended up in the sex trade.

Fast forward to my 30s and a very drunk guy staggering down the street toward me slurred "Nice boots!" (Yes he definitely said boots and not boobs, lol. They _were_ nice boots and my boobs are barely noticeable.)

That's all I got. No guys visibly checking me out or striking up a conversation or smiling at me or asking for my number or any of that.


----------



## Casual Observer

Corgi Mum said:


> Close to 60 now I sure don't get hit on but it's never been something that happened to me often even when younger.
> 
> When I was 15 we were vacationing in another city and I was walking in kind of a sketchy neighbourhood with my mother. We were stopped at lights waiting for the walk signal and some homeless guy walked up and held my hand. Fortunately the light changed so I snatched my hand back and walked away, quickly.
> 
> Same vacation, same sketchy neighbourhood (bad choice of hotel) some guy tried to BUY me from my father. I'm guessing I'd have ended up in the sex trade.
> 
> Fast forward to my 30s and a very drunk guy staggering down the street toward me slurred "Nice boots!" (Yes he definitely said boots and not boobs, lol. They _were_ nice boots and my boobs are barely noticeable.)
> 
> That's all I got. No guys visibly checking me out or striking up a conversation or smiling at me or asking for my number or any of that.


But at 60 and walking a Corgi, very different story!


----------



## jenny_1

While married, when I would get hit on, I have to admit it was mostly my "fault". Not that I was encouraging it, but I enjoy meeting and talking to people in general, and guys often take that as an opportunity to see how far I would go. And almost always when they realized I was married and not interested in a "relationship", they would back off. No harm done. Just people being friendly. That's life!


----------



## SunCMars

Think about this, for a moment.

Human eyes can rotate a full 360 degrees, their neck can turn near 170 degrees.

That is a lot of area to scan.

Add to this, healthy human eyes can focus on an area, as far out as 7 miles on flat ground, and as close as an inch before the pupil.

We are always scanning our environments; we need to.

To look for danger, maybe to casually look for dandruff on someone else's shoulders.

Whatever interests the mind, the eyes seek out, and peer at.

For some, it is a constant battle.

The mind wants to look at what interests it, yet often resists.

The eyes obey and look everywhere else.

This is so evident.

When an attractive person comes into view, the eyes either lock on that person, or look to the far left or right, or at the floor.

NOTE: unsupervised eyes, those orbs not being monitored at any given moment will always go to to what interests the mind.

Briefly, if that 'eyeballing' becomes obvious to others, and, a long look if no one else is noticing.

*Oddly? It is acceptable to long-eyeball everyone attractive in movies and on TV.*

Such is healthy human nature.

Obvious gawking is gauche, rude and crude.


----------



## joannacroc

I have been told by my older sister that I am oblivious. To my knowledge, no I don't often get hit on. But I guess I could just be taking people's everyday friendliness sometimes as just that. So...could be? Maybe? Sometimes?


----------



## jenny_1

joannacroc said:


> I have been told by my older sister that I am oblivious. To my knowledge, no I don't often get hit on. But I guess I could just be taking people's everyday friendliness sometimes as just that. So...could be? Maybe? Sometimes?


Quite possibly. Depends on what is said and how it is said. But one can usually tell if he is suggesting we take a conversation further - usually obvious but sometimes starts more subtly. But nothing at all wrong with being friendly, so don't dissuade that!


----------



## joannacroc

jenny_1 said:


> Quite possibly. Depends on what is said and how it is said. But one can usually tell if he is suggesting we take a conversation further - usually obvious but sometimes starts more subtly. But nothing at all wrong with being friendly, so don't dissuade that!



I try be friendly unless someone says something overt that makes me uncomfortable. Some guy said to me "nice knees" when I was about with my son in tow the other day. It grossed me out, not least because he was at least as old as my father, and I was with my son so it felt inappropriate. It was also so specific (knees rather than legs) and oddly anachronistic, like telling someone they have a neat little waist. It sounded like a compliment from decades ago. I was so taken aback I just muttered "thank you...?" and kept walking without a pause. My son didn't notice at all thankfully as he was talking my ear off


----------



## jenny_1

joannacroc said:


> I was so taken aback I just muttered "thank you...?" and kept walking without a pause.


You acted appropriately.


----------



## Divinely Favored

so_sweet said:


> If it happens to me, I don't know if I always notice it, especially if isn't really obvious. Also, I think I often have what is called a "resting b*tch face", if I'm not smiling, I look like a b*tch, and who wants to flirt with a b*itch, lol.
> 
> Hubby seems to notice it though. In the past, he'd get ticked off at the guy, tell him off and would be ready for a fight. He's gotten better about it now though.
> 
> Not too long ago, a man was extremely obvious about it. Hubby and I were walking back to the car in a parking lot, hubby slightly ahead of me with his hands full with takeout bags in one hand and a drinks tray in the other, trying to quickly get to the car.
> 
> There was a man walking towards his car, which was parked next to our car. This man got to his car and then stood there staring at me unabashedly as I walked towards our car.
> 
> Hubby noticed, stopped walking and turned his head to look at the guy, laughed out loud pretty loud and said, "You like what you see, huh?" The man actually replied, "Yes." He was very lucky my hubby didn't knock him out! I wouldn't have let him fight, but that guy had a lot of nerve!
> 
> Actually, come to think of it, maybe that man didn't think hubby and I were together since hubby was walking ahead of me and also in my area it's rare to see an interracial couple.


RBF....I just recently heard that term from a new employee. She told everyone to disregard and don't think she is PO'ed as she just has RBF.


----------



## Enigma32

An old friend of mine was recently reminiscing on her Facebook about an old dive bar/club that was popular years ago before they shut down. I made a comment on there about some crazy stuff I saw one day, and some mutual friend of ours started replying to my comment. Eventually she told me she likes 3somes and added a wink emoji. My FB profile pic is my GF and I together. Pretty sure this girl was just propositioning me. I ignored her, of course.


----------



## Tabbygirl23

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?





heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


when strangers ask for my name or number I say “my husband and I aren’t making any new friends right now, but good luck 👍 “ and keep walking 🚶‍♀️ ✌


----------



## ah_sorandy

Tabbygirl23 said:


> when strangers ask for my name or number I say “my husband and I aren’t making any new friends right now, but good luck 👍 “ and keep walking 🚶‍♀️ ✌


What, you don't take the opportunity to hand out provocative pictures of yourself? I jest.

Mentioning that you and your husband are not accepting new friends is perfect! Wishing them luck while walking away just puts the icing on the cake! 😁


----------



## Marc878

One of our dogs hunches my leg sometimes. Does that count?


----------



## Tabbygirl23

ah_sorandy said:


> What, you don't take the opportunity to hand out provocative pictures of yourself? I jest.
> 
> Mentioning that you and your husband are not accepting new friends is perfect! Wishing them luck while walking away just puts the icing on the cake! 😁


😝 🥲I forget to bring them with me! 
Thanks, I actually read that line in some article, I wanted to stop feeling like a dear in headlights and learn to be cool but clear I wasn’t interested.


----------



## Jimmysgirl

I don't think I've been hit on...like ever.


----------



## ah_sorandy

Jimmysgirl said:


> I don't think I've been hit on...like ever.


Hey Baby, I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I please have yours?

There, will that do? 😁


----------



## Andy1001

ah_sorandy said:


> Hey Baby, I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I please have yours?
> 
> There, will that do? 😁


If you really want someone’s number tell her you’ve mislaid your phone and can she ring your’s so you can find it.
You’re welcome.


----------



## Corgi Mum

Andy1001 said:


> If you really want someone’s number tell her you’ve mislaid your phone and can she ring your’s so you can find it.
> You’re welcome.


With my luck someone would try that on one of the many days I've forgotten my phone at work.

I kid, I kid. I'm not one of those women who get hit on. And cell phones hadn't been invented yet back in the day when my chances were better.


----------



## Erudite

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


Since the original experience was supposed to be lighthearted...

I had a convo with a coworker over Shania Twains "That don't impress me much" song. Normally I am in total agreement with Shania but let's get logical. Shania is a pop star. She can afford to be choosy. But if a rocket scientist hit on me, yeah, as a single woman I would be impressed. Ditto on the nice car. Also if he passed a resemblance to Brad Pitt I would not complain either. If he was a goodlooking scientist with rocket car all the better. Then it hit me the exact type of man who would need to hit on me before I would give him my number.

It's Batman! 1) Genius. 2)rocket car..hello batmobile! 3)out fighting crime at night so no blanket stealing. 4)a butler. 5) a mansion. 6 I can use the bat signal to call him home for supper and when I burn it black, to quote Shania again, he'll say he likes it like that.

Batman, if you are reading this, hit me up!


----------



## ConanHub

Erudite said:


> Since the original experience was supposed to be lighthearted...
> 
> I had a convo with a coworker over Shania Twains "That don't impress me much" song. Normally I am in total agreement with Shania but let's get logical. Shania is a pop star. She can afford to be choosy. But if a rocket scientist hit on me, yeah, as a single woman I would be impressed. Ditto on the nice car. Also if he passed a resemblance to Brad Pitt I would not complain either. If he was a goodlooking scientist with rocket car all the better. Then it hit me the exact type of man who would need to hit on me before I would give him my number.
> 
> It's Batman! 1) Genius. 2)rocket car..hello batmobile! 3)out fighting crime at night so no blanket stealing. 4)a butler. 5) a mansion. 6 I can use the bat signal to call him home for supper and when I burn it black, to quote Shania again, he'll say he likes it like that.
> 
> Batman, if you are reading this, hit me up!


Watch out! The Catwoman is no joke!😉


----------



## Erudite

ConanHub said:


> Watch out! The Catwoman is no joke!😉


I have put more thought into this than you know. I could buy Catwoman's diamonds wholesale..you know have my own little side business so Batman wouldn't feel like a sugar daddy.

I figure a grown man with Mommy and Daddy issues is a small price to pay for diamonds! I think Catwoman would agree.


----------



## heartsbeating

Erudite said:


> I have put more thought into this than you know. I could buy Catwoman's diamonds wholesale..you know have my own little side business so Batman wouldn't feel like a sugar daddy.
> 
> I figure a grown man with Mommy and Daddy issues is a small price to pay for diamonds! I think Catwoman would agree.


This little kitty thinks she can do business with Catwoman and get close to _the_ Batman?
How very ...._darling_.


----------



## heartsbeating

Erudite said:


> Since the original experience was supposed to be lighthearted...
> 
> I had a convo with a coworker over Shania Twains "That don't impress me much" song. Normally I am in total agreement with Shania but let's get logical. Shania is a pop star. She can afford to be choosy. But if a rocket scientist hit on me, yeah, as a single woman I would be impressed. Ditto on the nice car. Also if he passed a resemblance to Brad Pitt I would not complain either. If he was a goodlooking scientist with rocket car all the better. Then it hit me the exact type of man who would need to hit on me before I would give him my number.
> 
> It's Batman! 1) Genius. 2)rocket car..hello batmobile! 3)out fighting crime at night so no blanket stealing. 4)a butler. 5) a mansion. 6 I can use the bat signal to call him home for supper and when I burn it black, to quote Shania again, he'll say he likes it like that.
> 
> Batman, if you are reading this, hit me up!


You forgot to mention his skills on the dance-floor.


----------



## Erudite

heartsbeating said:


> You forgot to mention his skills on the dance-floor.


Hot Damn!🤣🤣🤣🤣


----------



## Erudite

heartsbeating said:


> This little kitty thinks she can do business with Catwoman and get close to _the_ Batman?
> How very ...._darling_.


Well I was never into that stuff before but why not give it a try? 🤣


----------



## heartsbeating

frusdil said:


> The last time I was hit on was earlier this year, and by a woman believe it or not! We were at a wedding, and I was at the bar getting drinks for hubby and I when she approached me. I said I was flattered but straight and married. She apologised, said she'd been watching me walk across the dance floor earlier and that I have a certain sex appeal about me! It was my dress - it was a knockout, everyone went crazy over it, lol!
> 
> Hubby said I should have asked for her number 🤦‍♀️


Out with friends for lunch and we'd moved to another area while awaiting hubs to collect us. In said area, we got to chatting with another couple of women who happened to be lesbian. It turned out that one had frequented some of the same venues as me 'back in the day'. Amidst sharing her stories, she said to me something along the lines of, 'Who knows, maybe we crossed paths back then. Maybe I made out with you in the club... ack... well, except the obvious that you're straight... plus I know that I would remember you.'

Oh behave. Shortly after, one of my friends was asking how they met and if they were a couple. The other woman didn't hesitate and confirmed they were. Upon hearing this, the chatty one indicated that she was pleasantly surprised. Apparently the change in 'relationship status' was news to her - and highly welcomed. Upon reflection, was this one of those instances that I've read about here whereby some women are said to make claims on their spouse while observing them interact with another? Anyway, we wished them well and jumped into the bat-mobile.


----------



## heartsbeating

ConanHub said:


> I would be very surprised if the Catwoman wasn't hit on or flirted with to test the waters often.
> 
> She and the Batman probably notice how others interact with their mate more than themselves being directly hit on.
> 
> I could be off but I really think they are mostly focused on each other.😉


Well... I thought of your post as what you suggested here somewhat played out recently.

We were at a bar for a music gig. I'd started to feel under the weather and Batman offered for us to leave early, however, I suggested we stay as I knew he'd been keen for this gig. He went to get drinks and I stayed in our spot watching/listening to the band. Periodically, I looked from the band to Batman, not far from where I was, to note there was a bit of a wait at the bar. A glance his way and I observed an interaction occurring between Batman and another woman, and based on body language kind of deciphered what was occurring; related to being served. Next glance, another woman was talking with him. When he arrived back, I teasingly said, 'I saw you getting hit on...can't blame them.' We chuckled.

The first woman (where I could kind of decipher what was happening) had been overlooked by the bar staff and been waiting before him. I'd even see her there when he was about to go to the bar. When they asked for his order he diverted to her. They served her, and then him. She appreciated this and shared light-hearted exchange about it. Then shortly afterwards, she went back up to him and said how she rarely experiences that kind of consideration and thanked him again. After that, the other woman standing near him said she had also noticed his action and how it was refreshing and then started to engage with asking about himself and amidst his response was, 'Well, my wife and I ...' Brief exchange before departing with her saying she hoped him and his wife enjoyed the gig.

Meanwhile, when I had turned to glance his way, a dude standing near me caught my eye contact and smiled, did the raised eyebrow and raised drink to me. And... I snubbed him completely. To your post @ConanHub, I was focused on Batman, and observing the wait at the bar, plus not feeling too great, and which led to an unintended snubbed response. Not that I would encourage the attention otherwise but that really was a complete snub. Granted, that was a bar setting and not daily-running-errands.


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## sleeping_sandman

heartsbeating said:


> Like most of my threads, this is intended to be light-hearted and sparked from reading posts about men and women in relationships being hit on by others. I recently shared that I can't remember the last time I was hit on, as in would be years, and to be clear it's not something that I'd be seeking to happen. This would be similar for Batman as far as I'm aware. Making the assumption that others in relationships do not actively seek this, I am nosy as to the circumstances this happens for you and how you subsequently navigate it?


I am hit on mostly daily. 
While out shopping groceries, in the gym, when running in the park. 
Even when doing some chores or sitting in my office.
In the shower, the kitchen, living room, and most of all in the bedroom. 
Always there is that auburn woman somewhere, sneaking up on me. Grabbing my butt, giving me smooches, doing all kinds of VERY unapproriate things at the most inconvenient of times. 
Oh, did I mention my office is in my house? Very intrusive that one  

SCNR this one...


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## Rubix Cubed

I don't get hit on or I'm oblivious to it.


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## RandomDude

If I find a woman attractive, I may flirt back.

If I don't find a woman attractive, I play dumb and pretend to be oblivious.


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## RoseyPosey713

I like it! Especially when they're cute.


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