# Does it get better?



## Emmie (Dec 17, 2014)

For those here who have or had, or had a partner with low testosterone levels....
Did your sex life improve with medication to boost it? And how long before it got better?

For those on antidepressants or partners who were on it, did your sex life get better when meds were reduced?

For those who needed antidepressants to get better and help with relieving depression to improve your sex life, did it work? 

I'm trying to be a patient wife but I'm seriously getting pissed off waiting for the idiot to actually attend his doctors appointments!

I'm being told he doesn't think about sex AT ALL. He gets an erection just fine.... but is still totally disinterested. And I'm talking years here!
I want my husband to be a husband not a bloody roommate.
I've told him I will divorce him if he doesn't sort it out but I think he knows that because I've put up with it this long I won't do it.
We've had sex twice this year.... I'm so fed up. It's not like he's this good looking sexy guy but I love the idiot and I don't really care I just want my husband back and he isn't taking this seriously and I don't know what to do.
Thankfully I can vent here at least as I have no one else I can confide in as it's so humiliating. :frown2:


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

If you're so fed up I encourage you to divorce him, honestly I can't fathom why anyone puts up with such nonsense.

That said if you won't leave him, you would do well to learn to suck it up graciously.

Good luck.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Men can still have high sex drives even with lower T so don't buy into the hype that it is all about T. MrH is mid 50's and had ONE episode of ED and was straight to the Dr. His T level tested a bit low bu Doc told him it is more about the mind, people that want sex will have sex even with lower T. We have sex daily plus more. 

If your husband won't even go to the Dr then sorry to say you are doomed.

ETA MrH increased his fitness and swapped to grass fed beef.


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## Emmie (Dec 17, 2014)

I can't tell if he's deliberately not going to the doctors or not.... He makes the appointment but either 'forgets' or claims he's too busy!
I don't want to divorce him.... 19 years and 4 kids... we had a very fun and healthy sex life.
I read up that low T doesn't always mean you can't or don't feel like doing it so I think he's looking for excuses.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong? I have some sexy neglige's I bought to hopefully entice him but he says he isn't bothered about it.... what man doesn't want that? 
I think I'm talking myself into being done with him. It's driving me crazy now and if I dare bring it up he gets so angry.
I think I'm just being too scared of saying this is over. 
I feel sorry for him, he has no one... no friends, no parents or siblings. He relies on me for everything!

I was just hoping that something would help!


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Do you already know he has low T for sure?

This happened with my XH. He deals with a lot of depression and meds etc, but he wouldn't keep up on the low T appts and meds. It made me feel very, very unvalued...and eventually our 20 year marriage ended. He didn't believe I would ever leave either. He was very wrong. I talked and begged and supported for 15 years, and then I gave up.

So I don't have an answer to your question, but I am an sympathetic ear.


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## BuddyL33 (Jul 16, 2009)

You need to be communicating your feelings about this with him regularly. Let him know that your there for him and you will go to the appointment with him if he needs. Stress to him how important it I for your relationship not because you will divorce him but from a positive aspect. Don't let up. But make it about you guys, not like he's doing something to you (or rather not doing something to you as it were). 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Sadly, he is starving your marriage. Have you had a chsnce to look up The Sex Starved Wife on this forum? It could shed some new light on the issues troubling your marriage. Most people in your situation would have thrown in the towel quite frankly.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

a recent study at MIT showed that if you do aerobic exercise 30 minutes each morning, MOST people can get off their anti-depressants. The exercise fixes what is wrong in your brain. AND no bad side effects.

But your underlying issue: There IS a solution, but your spouse refuses to lift a finger to implement it...
THAT is a recurring theme here! You have to "have the talk" with them. Point out that you NEED SEX, and if you can not get it in the marriage, then bad things are about to be set into motion....


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Read her other thread. The sexlessness is the tip of the iceberg. This guy is....just wow.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...ant-seem-make-firm-decision.html#post18282241


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

It won't get better. Not enough to fully be satisfying. If he wanted to be a good lover he would be doing all he could even when his drive was low. 

The longer you stay the harder it is to leave. At some point you just have to make a choice that your life is worth it and just do it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Reading your other thread, you've got far bigger problems than just sex.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Have you taken him to MC?

try to communicate about your desires and need for intimacy.

I wish my wife would ever initiate. but i will keep on trying, because I need the intimacy to feel close in the marriage.

Life is too short to not work on some of your needs.


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## DallasCowboyFan (Nov 20, 2012)

I have low T and am on some forums for guys with low T. Do you know what his testosterone level is? All of this, even the forgetfulness could be caused by low T. He may have an erection but no confidence he can keep it. There are a host of symptoms of low T, low sexual confidence is definitely one. But you have to know what his blood numbers are. And if that is the problem, you are probably going to have to babysit him, take charge and make sure he gets to his doctors appointments and things. Some guys don't want to admit that there is anything wrong. Particularly not low testosterone.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Curious how your romantic weekend in the bridal suite went?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Emmie said:


> For those here who have or had, or had a partner with low testosterone levels....
> Did your sex life improve with medication to boost it? And how long before it got better?
> 
> For those on antidepressants or partners who were on it, did your sex life get better when meds were reduced?
> ...


*Has he been to either a counselor, psychiatrist or a eurologist about it?*


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Oh. *This *guy. 

Peter Pan.

The man-child who thinks it's below his station in life to actually work for a living and would rather play with his X-Box for 6 straight hours and dabble in his other expensive hobbies that he can't afford while the OP does virtually *everything *to keep their lives sustained.

Sounds as though he's managed to devolve himself down into a 13 year old boy - more interested in his toys than icky girls.

Seriously, this guy is _*such*_ a headcase.

Put him up for adoption. Let some other family worry about his childish ass.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Ok just read the other thread and have to ask why you even want to have sex with him?


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