# Divorce vs. Separation



## mattyjman (Jun 6, 2012)

Hey guys... I have a meeting with an attorney on Wednesday of this week, but I talked to my wife about a separation yesterday, and we both agreed that would be best in our situation. However, the eventual possibility of us getting back together at this point doesn't seem all to realistic. 

We discussed yesterday who gets what, and I'll be taking the house, cars, etc... mostly because she can't/doesn't want to take care of them/afford them. So i called today, to find out how to get her name removed from the loans, and was told since AZ is a community property state, that i couldn't do any of that unless we had a divorce. 

Considering that getting back together is a slim, albeit, possible option, is there a better way to do this. I'm wanting a full separation, where she gets her own place, pays her own bills, has her own property, etc... and we can't do that fully without getting her name off of some of the 'community' stuff we have. 

Since some people get separated and then end up in divorce, is there any disadvantage to just jumping right ahead into a divorce, and then, if at some point in time she changes/we think we can work things out, we could decide what to do from there. Think that's a bad plan? Better to separate first? 

Just wondering what the pros and cons are of each... Any other tips and suggestions you have would be worthwhile, but i am meeting with a lawyer this week to get more legal info. I'm all ears folks. 

Thanks.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

depends on the law in your jurisdiction I'd think... where I am a divorce requires legal separation, and that is made into the divorce decree... So whether I went straight to divorce (which normally requires a 12 month separation period, except when there is an sworn affidavit of adultery) or just legal separation signed by a judge, its the same first step. If we'd just made our own separation contract without legal counsel or judgement it really wouldn't have held much water.


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## worrieddad (Nov 3, 2011)

I don't think it really makes a lot of difference. From reading around, the stats are that most separations do lead to divorce anyway. I think a lot of depends on the circumstances. If you are fairly amicable and free of financial entanglement - I'd think that a separation would be the best way to go. 

On the other hand, if people have a wayward spouse who is banging it around, abandoning kids and bleeding the bank balance dry - best to get the divorce over and done with as quickly as possible.


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## mattyjman (Jun 6, 2012)

anyone else?


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Even though you are in a community property state you should still be able to have your lawyer draft a property settlement agreement. This document states who is going to own what, who is going pay what, how much child support, spousal support, taxes, etc. Once drafted and signed then it becomes enforceable. After your waiting period, just file for a no fault divorce and it becomes your decree. It's great if nothing is contested. If anything is contested, just file the D and start slugging it out.

Benefits of a property settlement agreement are that it stays out of court. You file D and she can request temporary spousal support at the first hearing. Depending on what you make it can be pretty high.


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

even the most amicable split can get real nasty real fast. do whatever you need to do to cover your a$$. even if you do file, you can always stop a D if you choose to.


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