# Its the right thing to do, but sad nonetheless



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

The final divorce papers are being filed today. We've been married for 28 yrs, separated for more than a year, two ridiculously fabulous kids and not one once of remorse on his part. No remorse for his infidelity, his lies, or his abuse. No remorse on his part for emotionally abandoning his children. He just wants it over so he can get the final payment from the PA, and he's already delinquent on the child support! He has paranoid personality disorder/major depression and refuses further treatment.

I know this is the right thing to do. Heck, I'm the one who is filing. I'm also aware that he will never change and I have to take care of my children and myself. But this still feels like one of the saddest days of my life.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Hang in there, you're doing what you have to do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Thanks smallsteps. I know I have to, but I was not at all prepared for the wave of sadness I experienced when I saw the filed papers. I suppose its part of the whole grieving process. My very-soon-to-be-ex has made me grieve far too much.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Sorry, Pluto. I had to file, too. Kind of a final slap in the face to make you file for a divorce you never really wanted, isn't it? But you are right, when they have made the decision, there is nothing left for you to do but to take care of yourself and your kids. It will get better, believe me. It's not easy, and it certainly takes time, but eventually you'll see this as your 'get out of jail' card. It can be a hellish way to live, and now you'll be free(r) than you've been. Not totally free because you have kids, of course, but at least better off. Just hang in there, sweetie. ((hugs))


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

So this morning I get text bombed from VSTX (very-soon-to-be-ex) 
1. wanting to know why my attorney was trying to call him
2. telling me he tried to call them back and they said they didn't know anything about my case
3. gave me the number 
4 he wanted to know what was going on.
The number he gave me didn't look familiar so I looked it up. It was an attorney's office, but not a divorce firm. It was some personal injury firm.
Although I am mostly doing the 180, I responded and told him that was not my attorney's office and was most likely a wrong number. His responded by asking why would they do this because it was too much of a coincidence.
His paranoia is draining. And this will never really end


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## Clawed (May 21, 2013)

At least once the D is final, you only have to worry about communication regarding the kids. Sounds like it was about time to move on. It always breaks my heart to see such long standing marriages end that way, but there is only so much you can do if your partner is terrible to you and they are not remorseful or willing to change. You deserve to be able to enjoy your life and I'm sure your 'freedom' will open up new doors for you, and allow you to do exactly that.


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