# Is this normal?



## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I become very irritable and moody if I do not get enough sex.
My body becomes tense and I become a grouch.

Once I have a good shag, all of the tension melts away and I return to my usual bubbly self. My hubby remarked on this once after a heated session. He kissed me and asked: "You feel better now that you had some orgasms?" He was so right.

I am told that this is normal for a man, but not for women.

I'd be interested in hearing from both male and female members of TAM.


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## winniecooper (Nov 16, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> I become very irritable and moody if I do not get enough sex.
> My body becomes tense and I become a grouch.
> 
> Once I have a good shag, all of the tension melts away and I return to my usual bubbly self. My hubby remarked on this once after a heated session. He kissed me and asked: "You feel better now that you had some orgasms?" He was so right.
> ...


Honestly, I think it's a cultural pretense that only men want/enjoy sex. I think women and men can curb their sex drive when needed. 

Often times, we are conditioned by society to believe that a real man demonstrates his masculinity as the roving womanizer and a good woman expresses her feminity as the wholesome and pure mother type, only wanting to be married and have babies. I am speaking in very broad terms of course, but I believe this is a deeply engrained cultural mindset. 

I know I have a high drive despite being a woman. It's taken me a long time to realize that it's okay and that yes, sometimes what I need the most is to blow off some steam, literally. Everyone is different.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Girl, you know nothin is ever "normal"...if it's how you are, then it's how you are.

I get the same way, to a point. Grouchy and snippy and then after a good session, I'm smilin' again. LOL!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

> I am told that this is normal for a man, but not for women.


Whoever told you this is full of crap. There are many, many women out there with healthy sexual appetite for their men. I've been very lucky in that all the women I had sex with throughout my life had healthy sexual appetite. You are a healthy woman with a husband - whom I assume - treats you right in and out of bed. The world would definitely be a happier place with more people like you around.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I think you have nothing to be concerned about. Sounds perfectly normal to me.

In the case of a male, amplify your feelings by a factor of 10 and you have a pretty good idea of why so many guys come on these boards to b!tch about sex.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I think it's normal, desirable even.

I may not get that way all the time, or consistently like my H seems to, but it still happens. 

And sometimes, for me, it's not even always a need for a physical release, but a drive for it simply because I want the closeness and intimacy that comes from being together. I can crave that kind of feeling from sex as much as, sometimes more than, having an O.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

morituri said:


> Whoever told you this is full of crap. There are many, many women out there with healthy sexual appetite for their men. I've been very lucky in that all the women I had sex with throughout my life had healthy sexual appetite. You are a healthy woman with a husband - whom I assume - treats you right in and out of bed. The world would definitely be a happier place with more people like you around.


Wow, thanks. :smthumbup:

Sometimes I wish that I could satisfy all the neglected husbands in the world. Not the ones that are horrible to their wives, just the hubbies that are decent partners who receive no sex. 

I married my best lover. Our sex life is wonderful, because we have made it a priority.


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

i get very *****y if i dont connect physically to my husband. you arent the only one


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> I become very irritable and moody if I do not get enough sex.
> My body becomes tense and I become a grouch.


My wife never gets this way when we do not have enough sex, but I sure do! I must say that my wife really does not get irritable and moody about anything. She can get stressed easily, but it does not manifest in that way.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I can rememer many times feeling in a foul mood and not sure of the reason. Then it would suddenly dawn on me that it had been a week or longer.

Without other things making me feel too lousy, I would say about a week or so without sex would usually lead to me being a bit grumpy.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

whats "normal" anyways??? if i dont have sex...then i am nice and touchy feely and i come to anybody and i flirt shamelessly....

then after, i dont like to be touched, and i dont act very nice or talk nice...my husband just calls me on being mean and snapping on everyone.

and if i was a really awful person..he will tell me we will not be having sex for a while because of my previous behavior blah bah blah...

he is mean when he dosent get it, im mean when i do. normal is over rated.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Pandakiss said:


> whats "normal" anyways??? if i dont have sex...then i am nice and touchy feely and i come to anybody and i flirt shamelessly....
> 
> then after, i dont like to be touched, and i dont act very nice or talk nice...my husband just calls me on being mean and snapping on everyone.
> 
> ...


So - basically - one of you is always kind of grumpy? That's kind of sad and confusing!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> I think it's normal, desirable even.
> 
> I may not get that way all the time, or consistently like my H seems to, but it still happens.
> 
> And sometimes, for me, it's not even always a need for a physical release, but a drive for it simply because I want the closeness and intimacy that comes from being together. I can crave that kind of feeling from sex as much as, sometimes more than, having an O.


I'm this way too.

Having an O is great but ultimately it's that I crave and value that closeness with him. I don't get snippy but I do struggle getting to sleep. I notice after sex I'm usually a lot more positive, jovial and even more flirtatious.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I haven't experienced it with my fiance, but I used to get very irritable when I was lacking sex. I have a very high libido, so between days of no sexing, I masturbate, hell I masturbate almost daily lol.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> So - basically - one of you is always kind of grumpy? That's kind of sad and confusing!


that made me laugh...no..i am good a day or so later, but usually there is no one around me to be a b!tch to..

and hells yea, husband needs attention..look out world, he is mean, and yells and snaps at me...but i know why, so it dosent bother me, and after his fix...he is back to normal, and life continues.

we get along because of brutally honesty..he calls me on it, and call him on it...we both know whats up, i think he the nly guy who looks forward to my time of the month..all service for him, and im sooo sugar sweet.


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## bpsleo (Jan 12, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> I become very irritable and moody if I do not get enough sex.
> My body becomes tense and I become a grouch.
> 
> Once I have a good shag, all of the tension melts away and I return to my usual bubbly self. My hubby remarked on this once after a heated session. He kissed me and asked: "You feel better now that you had some orgasms?" He was so right.
> ...


 You are perfectly normal in all respects. It is common in both women and men, but degree varies, and mood swing also varies.:smthumbup:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

FirstYearDown said:


> I become very irritable and moody if I do not get enough sex.
> My body becomes tense and I become a grouch.
> 
> Once I have a good shag, all of the tension melts away and I return to my usual bubbly self. My hubby remarked on this once after a heated session. He kissed me and asked: "You feel better now that you had some orgasms?" He was so right.
> ...


I am like you...... we was getting ready to go on our little overnight trip....it was my idea to "wait" 3 days - so when we have our romp at this Inn, it would be more Hot & Passionate, and I start getting bi**hy the night before we left, I know that is why, I hate waiting. It helps that he knows _WHY _too. 

It was funny... once me & husband was on a bike trail, we laid our bikes down for a moment to pick berries & a small part of my wheel was on the trail, this lady whizzes by & starts yelling at us -she was nasty & out of sorts -that we are going to cause an accident, what is wrong with us., if looks could kill ......My husband looks at me & non chalantly says ..."*She needs Laid*".... I just laughed... 

Then I got to thinking.....Hmmmm I bet that is what was wrong with me most of our marraige!! Cause really, I was more bi*chy in our past....thinking about this, I am almost positive it is because we were only having sex once a week.... if he would have pushed me more or had I been in tune with what I REALLY needed in my marraige... I bet I would have just been alot calmer & less "wired" somehow. 

He has told me , many days he would be in a good mood driving home from work, had sex on his mind , he'd walk through the door, and I would start going off about something, usually some project we needed to get too, I threw myself (& him) -into activity back then...what we should have been doing is heating up the bedroom. 

I believe I am a higher "Test" woman, I can't go longer than a week without a release, I'd be climbing the walls, I have always been loaded with energy-even today, we had an argument not too long ago, he thinks I never sleep.... I can be dominate if I do not watch myself, boldly assertive when I have a flame under me, aggressive when I want something, so it all makes sense -really, and I can really relate to men & that frustration, that antsyness. 

And the last few years -with the most sex we've ever had, I feel I have been walking on the clouds, I have always been on the Bubbly side, enthusiastic, but it's been kicked up a few notches for sure....I used to be too serious when I was younger and more prudish minded.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

:lol::lol::lol: Love the sign!

I like to wait before we go away too. When I do so, hubby makes jokes about having to take me out of the city to get lovin'. :rofl: "You better put out, missy!" :rofl:


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I don't think its weird at all. I am the high drive person in our marriage, so I actually get super horny right in the middle of a fight. And then we will have sex, and I am usually much more calm and willing to listen.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I despise the belief that women can never be just as horny as men. 

I am a walking example of a woman with a sex drive like a teenage boy's. My husband loves it!


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