# My parents bigger problem than my ex



## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I have been divorced now for 3 months. Some of you know my story of a cheating husband who basically left me for an older woman. I caught him, he still lies,denies everything up to now.

Well he is in the US and I am back in Canada now with our son. My problem right now seem to be more my parents than my ex. Normally they are upset with everything that has happened and how I have been treated with disrespect and I can understand their frustration. But they seem to be preoccupied with only how to inflict pain or how to disturb the S*** when there is really no need for it. My mother is especially on this. She wants me to send a nasty email to the OW(he is still with her) but I have told her repeatedly that I don't want to stoop to that level and knowing from what her ex H told me, that would really not phase her. She wants me to make nasty comments to my ex, she wants to say things to him as well. She wants me to ask him for more money(over and above what he pays) even though he has been generous to buy lots of extra stuff for son especially up to now that I was not working.

Like none of these things are helping me get past the pain not with their daily games. They watch my son and I am grateful for it but I really want all this to stop. They feel like they have been too nice to my now ex H after the affair was discovered and after the divorce. Even some of their friends agree with me that none of this behaviour would produce anything positive for anyone. So I now almost find myself in a position as if I am the one defending my ex H.

I cannot completely cut out my parents as I am still somewhat dependant on them financially and they also watch my 2 year old son(I am on a waiting list for daycare). And I have repeatedly told them to leave me alone and not say anything bad about ex H in front of son(he is still too young to understand but I don't want them to get into that habit).

I am looking to start counselling after New Years just to deal with my own emotional pain(this divorce was not mutual decision) and just to find ways to deal with my parents. So as you can imagine I dont really have them as support network. Once last year my now ex H made a comment how my parents are unbearable and to be honest he was right about that comment(may sound cruel to some but it is the truth).

If anyone has any advice from your own experience I would really be grateful. Its enough that I had to deal with all the betrayal, humiliation, no apology and no remorse from him, I really don't need this now.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I know Pandakiss what you are trying to say but they just won't stop. My father even went as far to say that if I ever take this man back he will completely denounce me as his daughter. I am not saying I will take him back but none of us know what the future holds. If you asked me 4 years ago I would have said: My H would never cheat on me and he still did. It would have been so much easier if we did not have the kid in between. Those breakups are so much easier to overcome.

Don't get me wrong I love my kid more than anything or anyone in this world and it is not his fault what happened but also I cannot completely ignore his father. He is only 2 now. I still have to put up with him for the next 15 years at least.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

Pandakiss I don't live with them but I live in one of their investment properties paying half the rent that they should get. And I don't pay them anything for childcare. Today when my ex H was dropping off our son my mom made some drama like she cried and I guess she brushed off my ex MIL who was with my ex H(they were driving back from the US with our son). I guess my MIL was all cheerful and my mom took that like in: What's so funny about all this? if you get my drift. I just want the drama to stop because no counselling will help me with this going on. So I called ex H tonight to ask him about the stuff he brought for son and that's when he told me all this. In the meantime my mom did not say anything to me. I really don't know what to do anymore. They also get upset that I still hold onto a hope of us getting back together. I must admit I still have that at the back of my mind but I don't voice that to anyone. I try to accept the reality but sometimes you cannot do that overnight.


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