# Any advice?



## dbrown1200 (Mar 2, 2013)

So my wife and I have been separated for about 5 months. The last two months we have been working on putting out marriage back together. Things seemed to be going well, better communication, noticing out faults, problems and working thru them. So yesterday I get a text from her intended for someone else, she was confessing her love to another man. Her response when confronted was " he helped me thru this tough time, and we are just friends " so she wants to meet tomorrow and talk. My question of course, what should I do?

Thanks for reading.


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Well sorry to hear this.I would think if your 100% committed
to fixing a relationship you don' confess your love to another person.Why did your relationship fail in the first place?

If she was unfaithful,sounds like she hasen't changed.
If it was me in your place I would waste my time.
I would move on.Good luck in whatever you decide.


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## Voltaire (Feb 5, 2013)

I think that the folks on here will tell you that there is absolutely no hope of moving your relationship forward or getting back together whilst this guy is in the picture. So you need him out. Now.

Do whatever it takes to do that.

First I would insist that she gives you full disclosure. Tell her it's non-negotiable for you and be prepared to walk away there and then if she refuses (tough, I know, but you really have to draw a line in the sand otherwise you are telling her that it's OK for her to have done that). I would also tell her that you are going to show this text to her friends and family - and do so. This is not to be nasty or to get revenge but so that she faces up to her behaviour rather than trying to blame it on you somehow. This si what she will be doing in her own head - rationalising this relationship by telling herself that you forced her into it (or some similar victim/blameshifting fiction). It's only by facing others that this fiction will fall over. And it must if your marriage stands any chance at all.

She has undermined the trust in your marriage and she must rebuild it. Then she must have no further contact with this guy - and you must be able to verify that.


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## dbrown1200 (Mar 2, 2013)

The separation was initiated by my daughters attempt of suicide. One of the factors she stated was my wife's emotional and physical abuse. After investigation my wife was cleared of all allegations. My daughter has changed and is so much better the two have interacted and all seemed well. Admitting their mistakes etc..


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