# On Feeling Protected



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

The other night I was picking up my husband. We were on the phone with each other as I explained where I'd parked. Meanwhile, a man who was working there approached me and began giving me a hard time. I was still inside the car and asserted myself before ignoring him so he'd go away. Hubs heard the whole thing.

As my husband walked towards the car he called out, 'Was this the guy?' From inside the car, I turned around and nodded. He walked up to him and said, 'Hey, I don't appreciate you harassing my wife...' Hubs said a few choice words, being assertive not aggressive, and the guy backed down. 

I felt relief that it didn't escalate, combined (admittedly) with admiration that he'd stood up for me. It's rarely needed. The scenarios are few and far between when I experience that side of my husband. When I do though, I can't help but swoon like a stereotype. At my core, there's allure with feeling protected. 

Have you experienced this with your husband? And how did you feel towards him as a result?


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Great post.

My BF and I were at a casino late at night and I was going to play a certain machine. No one was on it so I started to sit down and the guy next to me, who was pretty drunk, said his wife was playing that machine but she was in the bathroom. I said, okay, sorry. 

Started to move on and he opened his big, drunky drunk mouth and said real smartass like, "Can't you see her card in the slot?" I told him I didn't and why'd he have to be such a **** about it? I had approached him nicely and he has to go on and be a douche. He called me a *****. He started getting mouthy and my BF intervened and told him to eff off and to stay seated unless he wanted to be escorted out by security.

***Swooooon****!!!! I told him I was so turned on by that and also felt like no harm would come to me while he was in my corner.:grin2:


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## honeysuckle04 (Jan 25, 2011)

Envious, yep.
Never felt protected by h. If I had a concern like investigating a noise in the middle of the night it was up to me. He couldn't be bothered.

I hope to be able to swoon at a man's manliness some day.


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

I had an incident last year in which my H and I were in a bar and a guy that we both know was terribly drunk and started coming on to me. He was quite graphic but my H was playing pool and didn't hear it. Eventually, after asking the guy several times to stop (saying it was disrespectful to his wife and kids whom I've met), I moved away. My H hadn't noticed what was going on and then sat down at the same table with the guy. The guy proceeded to tell my H in graphic detail what he would like to do to me. by this time, my H was quite drunk as well and took offence (which was fine) but, rather than move away from the situation, my H started arguing with the guy. A drunken argument ensued during which my H set light to some stray threads on the guy's shirt - instead of patting it out straight away, the guy let them smoulder a bit and then when he did pat it out, he burned his finger (not badly). This turned into a massive row and the guy was ejected from the bar by the owner. However, he came back into the bar three more times (we were waiting for him to leave the area before walking home as I'd begun to be scared) trying to get at my H. The bar was practically empty by then, just us two, a couple of male friends and the owner. The owner and one of our friends tackled the guy to the floor and ejected him but the third time he returned he got past them and made for my H who was sat at a table. As I saw him coming (I was not drunk), I stood and put a chair between myself and the guy and faced him off to prevent him from reaching my H (whom he was now threatening to kill). All the time I was standing there with a chair between us and the guy in my face shouting at me, my H sat at the table verbally harrassing the guy and making things worse. Eventually the bar owner and one of our friends tackled the guy to the floor again and the other friend when and got his car, parked right outside the bar door and came and escorted me (with a protective arm around me) and my H to the car and drove us home the long way round. I am eternally grateful to this friend who made sure I got home safe that night. I was totally unimpressed with my H's behaviour - he made the whole situation a lot worse than it needed to be. I'm now just a couple of weeks away from leaving my H - good riddance to bad rubbish. That's not the only reason I'm leaving him, he also pushed me during a recent argument and I feel that this sort of behaviour can only get worse despite his reassurances that he will change. However, him putting me at risk in this way by fuelling the argument rather than trying to back off and calm things down is totally unacceptable. 

On another occasion, in the same bar (our local which we usually visit once a week), some friends of ours were seated with a guy I hadn't seen before. They introduced me to the guy (who was about 20 years younger than me) and about 30 minutes later, while I was choosing some music on the computer, the guy came up to ask me to put a track on. We chatted while finding the track on YouTube and all of a sudden, my H jumped from his chair, came over and said to the guy "Let me introduce you to my wife". We'd already been introduced and were having a short conversation and I was absolutely livid that my H came over - it felt like he was a dog pissing to mark his territory. I'm a strong and independent woman and did not appreciate being treated like an object that he owns.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> The other night I was picking up my husband. We were on the phone with each other as I explained where I'd parked. Meanwhile, a man who was working there approached me and began giving me a hard time. I was still inside the car and asserted myself before ignoring him so he'd go away. Hubs heard the whole thing.
> 
> As my husband walked towards the car he called out, 'Was this the guy?' From inside the car, I turned around and nodded. He walked up to him and said, 'Hey, I don't appreciate you harassing my wife...' Hubs said a few choice words, being assertive not aggressive, and the guy backed down.
> 
> ...


Maybe it's about where I am from, but I don't want my husband to approach someone for the fear it can easily escalate. I knew a guy in high school who got into a confrontation with a guy at a gas station over something simple and he got shot over it! I'd rather my husband not say something, but just "stand guard" near me to show that protection. 

My husband is the guy who checks out noises that happen at night or will protect me in other ways. I just ask him not to be confrontational or argue with someone because you never know what the other will do.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Had a neighbor one time get into an argument with my wife right in front of our house a few years back. My wife is 5'1" and this guy is easily 6'4" and weighing in at about 250lbs ( a lot of body fat though).

He got right in her face towering over her, yelling at her, and she was giving it right back (hot blooded Latina that she is). The second I saw him clench his fists, I ran up, got between the two of them, nudged my wife back behind me, looked this a$$hole in the eyes and said "YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO MY WOMAN LIKE THAT! NOW GET THE FVCK OFF MY PROPERTY!!!

Needless to say, he wouldn't back down and began shouting "I can take you! I can take you!" I once again warned him to leave. He opted to throw the first punch.

I finished it by taking him down to the ground. He spent a few hours in jail for that one.

After it was all over my wife had this odd look on her face and she said "Wow...No man has ever done that for me." Maybe the look was that *swoon* thingie y'all are talking about. I told her I would do it again if need be...and she knew I meant it.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Anonymous07 said:


> Maybe it's about where I am from, but I don't want my husband to approach someone for the fear it can easily escalate. I knew a guy in high school who got into a confrontation with a guy at a gas station over something simple and he got shot over it! I'd rather my husband not say something, but just "stand guard" near me to show that protection.
> 
> My husband is the guy who checks out noises that happen at night or will protect me in other ways. I just ask him not to be confrontational or argue with someone because you never know what the other will do.


Yeah, I agree. There are weirdos out there. I would rather my husband "stand guard" too, just make his presence known than verbally or physically confront someone.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Anonymous07 said:


> Maybe it's about where I am from, but I don't want my husband to approach someone for the fear it can easily escalate. I knew a guy in high school who got into a confrontation with a guy at a gas station over something simple and he got shot over it! I'd rather my husband not say something, but just "stand guard" near me to show that protection.
> 
> My husband is the guy who checks out noises that happen at night or will protect me in other ways. I just ask him not to be confrontational or argue with someone because you never know what the other will do.


Wheras I totally get where you're coming from A07, he should be "at the ready" though, yes?

In the story I described, I was "ready", but I did not get between them until I perceived a potential threat to my wife. Prior to that I was telling her to just walk away from the a$$wipe.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

honeysuckle04 said:


> Envious, yep.
> Never felt protected by h. If I had a concern like investigating a noise in the middle of the night it was up to me. He couldn't be bothered.
> 
> I hope to be able to swoon at a man's manliness some day.


Me, too. I never felt protected by my XH. And he was a big guy. 6'3" and built like a linebacker.

I remember several occasions in which a guy said something insulting towards me--usually something sexist or misogynistic--and my XH never stepped up and called the guy out on it. I was always left to fend for myself. 

In retrospect, I now see that there were two reasons for this:

1) He is terrified at confrontation, and will avoid it at all costs. If someone is acting up in the bar where he works, he can use his size to intimidate the person, but there's never any real confrontation. But other than that, he is desperate to avoid it. 

2) He's actually a little misogynistic himself, and so either he didn't understand how these insults offended me, or he didn't give a sh!t because part of him agreed.

But ultimately, he just couldn't be bothered to lift a finger (or raise his voice) for me. And that really hurt. 

And I think this is a really important thing that a man can do for a woman. I'm smart, I'm self-sufficient, I have my sh!t together. But I know that I'm at a physical disadvantage when faced with an aggressive male, so sometimes I need backup.

The other day, I was verbally attacked by a mentally unstable person on the street. I was literally backed into a corner, and I couldn't get away from this person. I was terrified. TERRIFIED. Because he was UNSTABLE. I didn't know if he would escalate into a physical assault, and it's damn near impossible to de-escalate with a person who is mentally unstable.

There were several people nearby, and they did NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I called out to them to ask them to get security from inside the building, NOTHING. I was trying to stay calm, but I was FREAKING. THE. FVCK. OUT. inside my head.

Eventually, the guy lost interest in me and left.

I'm not p!ssed at the guy, he's mentally unstable and he doesn't know what he's doing. But I am incredibly p!ssed at the people (mostly men) nearby who didn't do a damn thing to help me.

At that moment, I really wished that I had a conceal carry permit, but they are not legal in DC. The only thing I had was pepper spray in my purse, and it was too windy to use it. I might have to start carrying my knife around with me.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

MountainRunner said:


> Wheras I totally get where you're coming from A07, he should be "at the ready" though, yes?
> 
> In the story I described, I was "ready", but I did not get between them until I perceived a potential threat to my wife. Prior to that I was telling her to just walk away from the a$$wipe.


In your situation, as the wife I would have walked away from the guy instead of an escalating yelling argument. I don't think it ever should have ended in a physical fight. I would walk away and my husband would show himself(standing in front of me) there to protect me/back me up, then would ask him to leave. I wouldn't want him to possibly get hurt. You won that fight, but what if you lost? My husband is strong and I know he can handle many things, but I still don't want him to take that risk. 

I just think there are a lot of crazy people in the world and you never know what might happen. As I mentioned before about the guy from high school. He was shot and killed over a stupid argument at a gas station. I'm still shocked that happened and it's been years since it happened.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Anonymous07 said:


> In your situation, as the wife I would have walked away from the guy instead of an escalating yelling argument. I don't think it ever should have ended in a physical fight. I would walk away and my husband would show himself(standing in front of me) there to protect me/back me up, then would ask him to leave. I wouldn't want him to possibly get hurt. You won that fight, but what if you lost? My husband is strong and I know he can handle many things, but I still don't want him to take that risk.
> 
> I just think there are a lot of crazy people in the world and you never know what might happen. As I mentioned before about the guy from high school. He was shot and killed over a stupid argument at a gas station. I'm still shocked that happened and it's been years since it happened.


I hear you my friend. I really wanted to avoid a confrontation, but the jerkoff simply would not go away. I kept telling my wife to walk away...but seeing how she had her "Puerto Rican" going on...heh...she wasn't backing down either. I didn't move until he clenched his fists and got right on her shouting "YOU'RE A LIAR! YOU'RE A LIAR!...then I moved in between them...and even then I told him to leave, which he ignored and then he landed the first punch. The dude was way bigger than me in height and weight, but no match for me in strength, speed, and agility. The way my wife described the takedown was "Jesus, all I did was blink and the next thing I know, you had him on the ground and you were on him!"

He was hauled off and charged, but the charges were dropped as they got a few of their neighbor friends to tell the investigators that I was a threat to the neighborhood and that I fire weapons on my property (I don't even own a gun). 

But yes...I would do it again if need be. She's my woman, and I'm her man...She "knows" that I will protect her from harm...without question and even if it puts me in harm's way. I'm wired that way.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I come from a pretty 'basic' background where law enforcement was something you did yourself and we were all taught to field strip, clean, assemble and use every firearm in the house from age 8. I don't care what the individual circumstances are, you physically intervene to protect your loved ones. I was never able to get my family members to sign on (in the US) to carrying a 5 shot hammerless .38 on them at all times so I feel it's my duty to protect them. People are crazy and people who walk up to you and start sh^it are even more crazy and need to be suppressed. And if guns aren't your choice then tell your wife to carry a 3/8 dowel with a point like a sharpened punji stick on one end. Someone screws you you stick them in the chest or throat or mouth or eye or testicles. 

Someone can slash your wife in the face with a boxcutter in under 2 seconds.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

My H would definitely step in if necessary. He is also quick to move in no matter who is talking to me if someone seems to take a particular interest in me (or seems angry, unstable, etc).

One time he and I went to the house of a person we didn't know and they had an overly excitable dog. We rang the doorbell, the person opened the door and the dog shot out of the house and went right toward me and was about to jump on me. This startled my husband as he wasn't expecting a dog to charge me like that, and he shouted "DOWN!!" with a really scary loud mean guy voice. The dog did back off. I was shocked at how scary he could sound, I had never heard that voice before. The homeowner took it all in stride and called the dog off but she really should have prevented the dog from charging out, even though it was friendly. I did feel a little swoon for him in that moment, hearing that scary voice and knowing how protective he is.

We both regularly mate guard each other from people who would like a piece of one of us, too. That makes me feel lovely and protected. I love doing it to him, too. If a woman is moving in on him or chatting him up a bit too much, I'll hustle over to his side and put myself under his arm and join the conversation with a smile. He loves when I do that and sometimes says later "thanks honey, I was worried for a minute there" and I'll say "yeah I could see she had her sights set on you!" This is just a silly thing we do, not actually out of worry but just out of showing that we notice these things.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

The varied responses are interesting.

I've spoken with my husband about scenarios where he's been assertive or confrontational, 'But you don't know what the other person is capable of..' to which he's responded, 'And they don't know what I'm capable of...' Even though he knows that he's not a risk to someone else. 

It goes deeper to who he is and has become as a person. He is not one to avoid confrontation. He will, however, consider a scenario and weigh up the risk or potential perceived risk and act accordingly. His feeling is also to not be pushed around by life; that sometimes we need to push back and get a healthy space around us. This can be done with weighing up the risk. And confrontation, asserting himself and challenging others, plays out in different aspects of his life.

He remembers a time as a teenager when him and his friend were waiting at the bus stop. Three guys got out the car to jump his friend. It was a one-on-one fight between his friend and another guy (gang-related... but hubs wasn't in gangs). The other two guys warned hubs that if he'd jump in, they would too. He worked out three against two and in the moment didn't act. His friend was beat but okay to go home. Hubs made the conscious decision to distance himself from that friend as the gang violence and choices were getting too close to home for his liking. In hindsight he questions that he made the correct choice in that moment instead of getting involved. Violence aside, he grew up in a culture where confrontation and asserting oneself was not something to shy away from. 

In day-to-day, not living in a violent place, he'll weigh up the risk and act accordingly. His ethos is he doesn't want to live in a world where no-one acts. He'd like to think if I was getting harassed, that someone (another guy he means) would step in. And dependent on the scenario, he'd do similarly for someone else.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I think there is a difference in acting to protect you and in showing anger at someone who has been treating you rudely. 

The first where he actively protects you against a threat is very valuable. The second while emotionally satisfying, actually increases you risk because things could escalate.


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## Illbehisfoolagain (May 7, 2012)

My boyfriend is 6'5" and a retired professional fighter, and can be a dirty street fighter. I feel more safe with him around than I ever have in life.


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## Bridge (Dec 27, 2013)

This is a tough answer. It is nice to be protected and know someone loves you enough that it's an automatic response from them, but nothing compares to the high I get when I can take care of a situation myself. Most predators are going to engage you when you're all alone and I get so much strength knowing I kept myself safe, or I didn't engage someone who was looking for trouble, and it gives me more calm, cool confidence when the situations come up in the future. 

That's what I've learned from the times I've felt scared, helpless, and bitterly wished a guy had been around or would step in.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

MountainRunner said:


> Had a neighbor one time get into an argument with my wife right in front of our house a few years back. My wife is 5'1" and this guy is easily 6'4" and weighing in at about 250lbs ( a lot of body fat though).
> 
> He got right in her face towering over her, yelling at her, and she was giving it right back (hot blooded Latina that she is). The second I saw him clench his fists, I ran up, got between the two of them, nudged my wife back behind me, looked this a$$hole in the eyes and said "YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO MY WOMAN LIKE THAT! NOW GET THE FVCK OFF MY PROPERTY!!!
> 
> ...


All I can say is that I hope you have lots of brothers and lots of sons. We need more men like you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Interesting. On several occasions, I've investigated noises, checked unlocked houses, chased off car thieves, etc. I'm still unfamiliar with this "swoon" response you speak of.


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

My wife has only gotten her self in trouble one time - Disneyland of all places. Normally, she can hold her own. She accidentally tripped over a guy and he got lippy with her. It got a little out of hand and I just had to get between them so the guy would back down and go back to his family. I can usually get in and defuse a situation pretty fast - built like a body builder, many years of traditional martial arts and used to coach a college MMA club - so I have a look that often quiets things and have learned a demeanor from many years of martial arts to stay calm. Most times, the guy that stays the quietest and calmest in a situation is the scarier of the two. That gets the other to generally calm down pretty quick.

She likes knowing that I have her back in anything. She feels safer because of it.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> But yeah...I'll choose his looking like a Wuss to any stranger... remaining in tact walking away... so we can go home & have sweet sex.. over getting all Macho & a physical Brawl begin...


Although... I don't think it has to be one way or another. Confrontation and asserting oneself does not need to end in a brawl. This is also where weighing up risks and judging a situation can come into play. Still, we all have our different takes on things.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Fozzy said:


> Interesting. On several occasions, I've investigated noises, checked unlocked houses, chased off car thieves, etc. I'm still unfamiliar with this "swoon" response you speak of.


My husband saved bird-eggs in the garden once... made a little nest for them in his handyman mask and placed them back in the shrub. The swoon response was ignited. Maybe it's a condition I'm prone to.

Either way, good job on investigating the noises.


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

When my wife brings me my favorite candy bar or tells me I look nice, I feel loved 

Any type of "give a $hit" she offers has me "swooning"

I don't think in any way those feelings are limited to being defended although it is on a long list of things that create those feelings and stronger than many others


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> Although... I don't think it has to be one way or another. Confrontation and asserting oneself does not need to end in a brawl. This is also where weighing up risks and judging a situation can come into play. Still, we all have our different takes on things.


I don't know if you can always tell what the true risk is. The guy I knew from high school wasn't one to get into fights. He argued with the guy over taking the pump he wanted at the gas station, as it made the other guy have to wait and supposedly he cut in front of him. The other guy looked like he had maybe a couple drinks, but probably wouldn't seem like a huge threat according to another guy from my high school that was with him. They were not jocks or hot heads. The guy from high school told the other one to just back off and get lost, which pissed off the other one. They started arguing and it escalated. He pulled a gun and shot him 3 times, killing him on the spot. I would never ever expect something like that to happen. The area it happened in was an average place, not high income but not exactly ghetto either. It was just a very weird incident that has changed how I view things. 

I would much rather walk away than be confrontational because of that whole incident. There is nothing worth my life or my loved one's life. I'd rather look like a coward or allow someone to talk bad about me than possibly get hurt or killed. I would just calmly move away, without making a bigger scene. Ignore comments and the aggressiveness.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Anonymous07 said:


> I would much rather walk away than be confrontational because of that whole incident. There is nothing worth my life or my loved one's life. I'd rather look like a coward or allow someone to talk bad about me than possibly get hurt or killed. I would just calmly move away, without making a bigger scene. Ignore comments and the aggressiveness.


I respect your opinion and take on this.

For myself, it would depend on my instinct in the moment. I have taken the focus off another woman being intimidated before. The focus did shift to me and I stood up and stood my ground. The guy backed off and left us alone. That was that particular moment. 

My husband is more assertive and confrontational (not to be confused with aggressive) than I would be. He is who he is and I respect that. To be honest, while he certainly listens to my views, when it's something that goes deeper to who he is as a person, fundamentally he is going to live by what he feels right. What that means is based on his own world view. 

The scenario I wrote about had a low risk of escalation. Of course, being who I am, being generally less confrontational and caring about him, I did feel relief to hear the other guy quickly back down. Swooning occurring simultaneously to this.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I am not a confrontational guy. My credo is...."push me, I'll leave, chase me. I'll run, catch me, and I will buy you a toe tag."

A guy was pestering my wife at a club. I gave her the car keys, and told her I would stand in the door so he couldn't follow her....

When she was safe I followed her out to the parking lot, and we got into our car. 

The guy and four or five of his friends followed us out. He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the car saying "we are going to kick your a$$"...

I shoved a long barreled revolver into the center of his belly and thumbed back the hammer...

Hearing me **** the revolver my wife screamed "for Gods sake don't kill him"....

I ordered him to back up, and when he was out of arms reach, I held up the gun for his friends to see, and said...."spread out"

They were all willing to leave, without further discussion....

Another time we were in a rural area, late at night, and a tire went flat...She was holding the light while I changed the tire....She finally said "I'm scared"...It was really dark....

I said "Would you feel better if I told you there was a .44 Magnum in the trunk"?

She was visibly relieved, and we made it home with no further trouble....Better to have and not need, than need and not have....


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I would divorce my husband if that scenario happened with us. I would never feel safe with a loaded gun in my car, nor with a man who would pull it out and shoot someone. "But those thugs might have killed us" is no excuse, IMO. 

A baseball bat in the car is fine. Guns, f*ck no.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> A baseball bat in the car is fine...


And so much more "personal", yes? Always like to reach out and "touch" someone, ya know?  *grin*


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I would divorce my husband if that scenario happened with us. I would never feel safe with a loaded gun in my car, nor with a man who would pull it out and shoot someone. "But those thugs might have killed us" is no excuse, IMO.
> 
> A baseball bat in the car is fine. Guns, f*ck no.


Ah the pacifist mentality....Are you British by any chance?

In fact I did NOT shoot anyone, The threat was more than enough to discourage the mob mentality....And in fact the gun was NOT loaded...

Under the same circumstances would you rather be abused by a group of strangers, while your husband was beaten by their friends, or give them a dose of reality? 

One man with a stuck against 5 will wind up on the wrong end of that stick....Reality is not a Chuck Norris flick.....

Have you ever seen 2 grown men fight it out for real? I am talking about a fight that will only end with one man unable to stand, or separation by brute force? 

It is not like a movie, it is not romantic, no swoony feelings..... 

If it takes place inside, there is blood spatter on the ceiling....Both participants will require medical attention, and the next day, cold compresses and wet cloths are usually required just to open your eyes. A broken nose is usually a given, along with loose or missing teeth....Facial cuts, split eyebrows, etc...Scarring can be visible for years.....

Introduce even the most simple weapon, it could be fatal....

Believe me, violence like this should be avoided at all cost.

I am sorry if this post is too gritty for ladies, but I speak from actual experience, and defending a loved one is not always genteel..


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Woodchuck said:


> So you wouldn't mind being passed around like a bottle of cheap wine among a group of strangers, while your husband was bleeding out from a switchblade to his gut....Ah the pacifist mentality....Are you British by any chance?
> 
> One man with a stuck against 5 will wind up on the wrong end of that stick....Reality is not a Chuck Norris flick.....
> 
> In fact I did NOT shoot anyone, The threat was more than enough to discourage the mob mentality....


The fact that you brandished it so quickly speaks volumes to me. I've had my fair share of brawls and carry some pretty bad scars from being sliced up by some lowriders back in the eighties. I don't need a handgun to take care of a few thugs. Gonna call me a pacifist, yeah?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> So you wouldn't mind being passed around like a bottle of cheap wine among a group of strangers, while your husband was bleeding out from a switchblade to his gut....Ah the pacifist mentality....Are you British by any chance?
> 
> One man with a stuck against 5 will wind up on the wrong end of that stick....Reality is not a Chuck Norris flick.....
> 
> In fact I did NOT shoot anyone, The threat was more than enough to discourage the mob mentality....


Sorry, still don't want any loaded guns anywhere near me, nor to be with someone who carries one.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

MountainRunner said:


> The fact that you brandished it so quickly speaks volumes to me. I've had my fair share of brawls and carry some pretty bad scars from being sliced up by some lowriders back in the eighties. I don't need a handgun to take care of a few thugs. Gonna call me a pacifist, yeah?


The pacifist reference was to faithful wife....

The gun was under the seat of my car, I planned every move while standing the doorway of the club, and it went exactly as planned....I am sure with all your MMA skills you could have beaten off a score of lowriders but today, even they carry guns, and the one on the far side of the parking lot with a .357 is the one that takes you out, not the dozen you have crushed under your boot....

I did what I did. Everyone walked away in one piece....Find fault if you will.....Just like that night, I'm going to bed.....


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Sorry, still don't want any loaded guns anywhere near me, nor to be with someone who carries one.


With concealed carry now legal in at least 45 states, you probably encounter loaded forearms every time you go out....

They are really not scary when handled by an expert....After all you can even get splinters from a baseball bat....

My 19 YO niece shoots in competition, and plays classical violin....So not all shooters are barbarians....or even men...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I just can't go there. I just can't live a life where I feel a gun is the only thing keeping me from getting raped and murdered someday. Let 'em kill me. (This is in no way disrespectful to you re: your story...I would not make light of that because it sounds terrifying to me and I'm sorry it happened to you).

It is just a personal feeling. If I'm wrong and I end up gunned down, raped or killed, I'll be a sad mofo, but between now and that possible future, I can't have guns around me and feel safe. I am not speaking anything about the skillfulness of the gun owner. I don't care who the gun owner is. It is scary to me.

I know people who have them and I don't freak out on them or make any comment at all about guns. And I would have no problem going to a shooting range myself to learn to shoot...just as a sport, and I just have never made the time to do that. It isn't shooting I have a problem with. It is carrying concealed loaded weapons. I just can't go there. Couldn't date someone who did. It is about how I want to live my life. In fear, or not. I have never felt the fear of death at a stranger's hands, and I hope I never will...and again, sorry you have felt that. But because I haven't, I've never felt unsafe. No one has ever threatened me like what you described, ever, or anyone I've ever been with. I feel safe. I understand it is a privilege to feel this safe.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I don't think being British means having a pacifist mentality.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

And woodchuck, that's an awful scenario that you had to deal with. Regardless of our perspectives, it's good to hear that no-one was injured that night.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
It probably depends on the environment you live in. I'm in my 50s and I've never been in a situation where I wished I had a gun or felt like I might need to defend myself. As you can see from posts, other people do sometimes end up in these situations.

I don't object to guns, but I don't have any respect for someone who carries one in situations where it isn't needed. 




Faithful Wife said:


> Sorry, still don't want any loaded guns anywhere near me, nor to be with someone who carries one.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> I don't think being British means having a pacifist mentality.


Prior to the start of WWII, Neville Chamberlain sold Poland out for a phony treaty to avoid conflict.....

During the early days of WWII, the British army had to abandon huge numbers of firearms at Dunkirk . Churchill enlisted thousands of civilians in the home guard. It was expected that the German army was going to invade the country at any moment. 

The British government advertised in the NRA magazine, begging American civilians to loan their personal firearms to England...The American gun owners responded by sending thousands of their personal firearms....

At the end of the war, the British government seized the LOANED firearms and threw them into the sea....The government trusted its subjects to possess firearms only as long as they were needed to defend the government.....

It is currently against the law to use force to defend your personal property....

British police failed to prosecute thousands of cases of Muslim adults having sex, and using for sex trade thousands of white girls of British nationality....

In the face of a national scandal revolving around Muslim rape gangs, the UK police counsel…surrender. More dhimmitude from Abject Britannia: “UK Police Tell Subjects Not to Harm Their Attackers, Get a Rape Alarm.......

Being unwilling or willfully unable to defend ones self pretty much fits my definition of a pacifist......(I have sources for my statements)....I also consider it disgusting.....

Would you be outraged if your law enforcement officials said their policy if you are being raped is to just give in?.....When we lack the ability to defend ourselves we will soon slide into the abyss....


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> When we lack the ability to defend ourselves we will soon slide into the abyss....


If I spent my time worrying that I was going to be raped and killed, I would slide into a mental abyss. Sorry if that is disgusting to you, but I simply won't live in fear. That's all this is about to me.


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> The other night I was picking up my husband. We were on the phone with each other as I explained where I'd parked. Meanwhile, a man who was working there approached me and began giving me a hard time. I was still inside the car and asserted myself before ignoring him so he'd go away. Hubs heard the whole thing.
> 
> As my husband walked towards the car he called out, 'Was this the guy?' From inside the car, I turned around and nodded. He walked up to him and said, 'Hey, I don't appreciate you harassing my wife...' Hubs said a few choice words, being assertive not aggressive, and the guy backed down.
> 
> ...


I totally understand that feeling, Heartsbeating. Kind of makes you want to jump his bones right then and there. Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Some years ago, I was with my ex. during our dating phase. We were at our favorite haunt listening to live music.

The vast majority of people who would frequent that place were mellow and only looking to have fun, but every now and then,
you would get some weirdos and a few nasty types.

Well, on this particular occasion, 2 tall guys came in. I sensed trouble trouble from the beginning. 
They were obnoxious, but not the least drunk and very aggressive.

They were foreign by their accents. They approached us and started talking. It wasn't particularly friendly talk and a bit annoying
because I just want to be alone with my then g.f. Then, they got nasty. They told my g.f. "were to take you with us".
My g.f. was pretty buzzed and didn't say anything. I told them "what are you guys up to? She's not going anywhere!"

Then they got pretty insistent "Yes, we are, we're going to take her with us" and I just repeated "She's not going anywhere!"

They did this about three times. Finally, they went to another table, thank God, but I could overhear by their conversations
that they weren't really done with us.

The whole time, I was thinking 'who are these @ssh0les, and what are they up to? Who would actually do something like this?'

I definitely expected trouble. But suddenly, they got up from their table to leave, walked past me and as they did, one of 
them aggressively grabbed my hand and kissed the back of my hand and then they left WTF?????
It was so quick, i didn't really have time to react, because I was so weirded out.

Believe me, it wasn't a 'love' kiss. It was probably a sign of contempt and disdain. I was just glad they got the He!! out of there.

I've had other confrontations related to women, but that was by far way too weird and surreal.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> Some years ago, I was with my ex. during our dating phase. We were at our favorite haunt listening to live music.
> 
> The vast majority of people who would frequent that place were mellow and only looking to have fun, but every now and then,
> you would get some weirdos and a few nasty types.
> ...


This is almost the same scenario I was in. We had been to the club several times for the live music....On earlier visits, the place looked like my H.S. reunion, at least 1/3 of the people there being friends....On the night of the incident, all strangers. 

The guys approached our table and asked to dance with my wife, knowing what her response would be, I replied "Ask my wife if she wants to dance with you"....

When she declined, the confrontation began, they got loud and vulgar....At that point, I slipped the car keys to my wife, and whispered for her I would hold them off, and for her to get in the car....She went to the car, as I stood blocking the doorway. 

Seeing my wife get away seemed to piss them off, and as I went to the car, the original two, gathered up several cohorts, and came after me....As the leader grabbed my arm, and pulled me out of the car, I pulled my revolver out from under the seat, and shoved it into his belly....

Some here would sat I reacted too violently, and some have said I should have just thrashed all of them.....The fact that no one was injured, and my wife and I were able to leave unmolested should speak for it's self....


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Woodchuck--just curious--did you ever go back to that bar?


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> It probably depends on the environment you live in. I'm in my 50s and I've never been in a situation where I wished I had a gun or felt like I might need to defend myself. As you can see from posts, other people do sometimes end up in these situations.
> 
> I don't object to guns, but I don't have any respect for someone who carries one in situations where it isn't needed.



*I don't have any respect for someone who carries one in situations where it isn't needed*.....Please enlighten me as to where a concealed firearm would NOT be needed...In a church, a college, the corner convenience store, a fast food joint, in the inner city, in a small town? Violent crime happens everywhere....Law abiding citizens legally carrying firearms is a huge deterrent....


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Woodchuck--just curious--did you ever go back to that bar?


I was hoping no one would ask that question......

Yes, I went back the next night with several friends.....We stood in the doorway, and I pointed out the miscreants to my friends......

There was a large commotion, and the bad guys ran down a long hall to the women's bathroom, locked themselves in, climbed out the window, and departed...

That was probably the most un-cool thing I have ever done, and I find it embarrassing even now....


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Did you go back armed?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I expect we live in different environments. While there are situations where I might want a firearm, I think they are not likely enough (for me) to be worth the effort of carrying one. Simply carrying a firearm is physically inconvenient (I don't normally carry an umbrella), but that is not so bad. What is a lot of effort is staying practiced enough with that firearm to be able to use it in an emergency. I AM convinced that an untrained person with a firearm is a really bad idea. 

For me life is a set of trade-offs, time, risk etc. There are lots of ways I could spend time to increase safety - additional medical / first-aid courses for example are probably more likely to save lives than a firearm. When I fly my airplane I am always making a trade-off between the risk of death, the convenience, and the fun of flying under the current conditions. 

I may someday be in a situation where I wish I had a gun. I may someday not have the medical skills I need to save someone's life after an accident. I may someday die from rockfall in the mountains because I didn't have a helmet. I may die in a airplane crash because I don't have certified de-icing gear. Most likely though I will die a slow horrible death in a nursing home.


Other people are free to manage their risks and costs as they wish. If you want to carry a gun, I have no objection - as long as you have the skill to use that weapon to do more good than harm in an emergency. 









Woodchuck said:


> *I don't have any respect for someone who carries one in situations where it isn't needed*.....Please enlighten me as to where a concealed firearm would NOT be needed...In a church, a college, the corner convenience store, a fast food joint, in the inner city, in a small town? Violent crime happens everywhere....Law abiding citizens legally carrying firearms is a huge deterrent....


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Did you go back armed?


Only with numbers.....


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I once poured salt on a really creepy slug.....A WHOLE LOTTA SALT....


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