# few friends... worried about impact on marriage



## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

i went to art school in college and i had a lot of artsy friends who were just like me.. well, its been 3 years since i graduated, and now i dont have any friends at all... 

my closest friends have all moved away... germany, washington state, france.. all over. i've broken up with a few friends deliberately (one because she kept talking **** about my now husband), and one a few days ago (just because she was a negative influence.. she has started getting into drugs, she had an abortion a few months ago, and she is dating this loser who promised to marry some other chick for papers... and having an opinion about any of those things wasnt allowed). 

so now my only friends are my husband and my mom. i think all women call their girlfriends when their husband is pissing them off.. and now i dont have anyone. i guess i'm just worried it might have a negative impact on my relationship now that my friend dynamic has changed. then again.. it's not like a was a social butterfly before.. any thoughts??


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

At least you have here for now. But I know what you mean, when we moved, and my friends get busy in their own lives, and I just need a vent outlet, I feel like I get pent up energy that then distances me from my spouse because there are things I don't want to dump on him that my friends will totally listen to and agree or give opinions on. I love my longtime friends. Maybe make some new ones where you live now, or you could always talk on here! But I don't think it will totally change your dynamic of your relationship, unless you don't develop any new friendships at all.


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## onehotmama (Apr 13, 2012)

I think most people start to have less and less friends as they get older. People go their separate ways and start families and just don't have the time to maintain friendships as much. If it really bothers you and you want more socialization, you have options! Maybe sign up for an interesting class at a community college? Get involved in church? (if you're religious) .. Or do you have children? If so you could join a local moms group.. Or even book yourself a salon appt and go vent to your hairdresser! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Find new friends. I think if people don't have friends, it's their own fault. Put yourself out there!


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## Gratitude (Feb 12, 2012)

Friends help give you some balance. Find something you enjoy doing and push yourself to socialise a bit more. Apart from two girlfriends, the rest I've met at work. That's a big one. 

Does your husband have friends? You can go along to social events and maybe connect with one or two of the wives or girlfriends. I wouldn't worry about it too much. When you find someone you click with, it'll happen. Don't overthink it. Coming here is a great outlet for advice that will help. As long as you guys are happy, you'll be ok. The only problem might be if he goes out and you don't know what to do with yourself.


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## Gratitude (Feb 12, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> Find new friends. I think if people don't have friends, it's their own fault. Put yourself out there!


Some people are just naturally reserved or shy. Socially anxious. Sometimes it's not so easy to just 'put yourself out there'. It can be nerve racking.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I have a couple of friends but I don't complain to them about my husband. I have TAM for that.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I never slated my husband to my friends or family which is why no-one had a danny we were going to split up heh heh


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Dolly: 

I'm just a simple person from the colonies....not sure I got the Brit slang correct...

to slate: insult, talk badly about ?

danny: idea, hint clue ?


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## Eternal Embrace (Apr 26, 2012)

I think the friends thing is more what you make of it...

Does it really bother you that you don't have many friends? If so then go out and start trying to make some in the ways others above have mentioned.

Will the lack of friends have a negative impact on your marriage? Again, I think this is more what you make of it.

I, too, am in the same boat as you are. Other than my mother and husband I do not have any really close friends. I have 3 girlfiends, 2 of which live far away and 1 who is close by but we don't keep in touch constantly. 

My mother is who I vent to - her and I have always been close. However - none of this has a negative impact on my marriage. I am an introvert and my husband is well aware of this and ok with it. Sometimes I do get the impression that he wished I had more friends but I believe that is because he has a lot of friends and and is more of an extrovert.


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

awww... you ladies are AWESOME!!!!


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I agree that for some of us it isn't easy. I have awesome friends, ones that I've had forever....we can not talk for a year (I moved) and pick up like we saw each other yesterday. THOSE are best friends, just not every day friends. 

I think, when you NEED something.... for yourself, your mental well-being, then it's on you to clench your jaw, and put yourself in a position to get what you need. I pretty much just close my eyes and jump in....and hope for the best.

Do something you LOVE .....lol, in a group I mean! Because whether it's a class or an activity, you already have something in common with all the people there!


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Dolly:
> 
> I'm just a simple person from the colonies....not sure I got the Brit slang correct...
> 
> ...


you did get it correct! danny is rhyming slang - danny la rue = clue

see I'll have y'all talking like the queen in no time


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