# need help to get through



## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

My family, H and 2 sons have gone to a camp ground near the ocean for almost 20 years with other close friends. I look forward to it every year as a chance to just chill, hang with friends and family, see my nieces and nephews, etc. H has not always taken the whole 2 week off but he generally spent weekends and some nights during the week. We have not told the other families what is going on with us. Besides that, I am kind of dreading being on display in my grief. I will tell my friends before we go, don't want to wait until we get there. Any thoughts about going or not? Part of me thinks it will be good to get out of our house, and part of me thinks it will be too weird. Maybe it will help me if I am surrounded by friends although it is always weird when people are so sympathetic, makes me feel pathetic. My IC reminds me that I don't feel like that about others who I have supported through difficult times, but I am sooo embarassed by being in this place in my life. Any thoughts welcom


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

This is a strange one for me as everyone knows I'm getting divorced. I wish I had something to say other than I'm sorry you're going through this 

I'd definitely go on the trip, though. It sounds fabulous.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Why be on display? Just try to have a good time.


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

Did any of you experience that feeling, like everyone is talking about what happened to you? Talking to their spouses about how this will never happen to them? Wondering what went wrong? Not sure what to say to you?


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I feel the opposite. It's been no secret my entire family can't stand stbx. I don't think they care as long as he is just gone and they don't have to see him again.

My fear is that HIS friends are like "Christ it's about time, let's go have fun" and he's out having the time of his life. I just assume that's the case so I don't get any ideas of him being sad since that gives me hope he'll come back.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

So what? With any luck he'll have a big break up party with his brodude friends and get herpes from a tranny.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I would encourage you to still go as you usually do. It will be good for you to get out of the house and do something you enjoy.
As for telling people, just keep it simple and ask that they please respect you and not ask 20 questions about what is going on.
If you feel like talking about it, then let it be your call.

If they are talking about you, more than likely it's more like they feel bad that your going through such a heartbreaking event.

There always has to be a first time to start something, so if you do this then the next thing you do by yourself without your H will be easier.

You can do this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

Thanks DG. I washed the camper today, getting it all ready, started organizing my packing and making my shopping list. I do think I need to say someting to my friends before we get to the campground. I just kept hoping H would be back. Doesn't look like he has any change of heart, he just keeps going with this. He plays golf, works, goes to his apt., and goes to a golf coach. I know because I can still see what he spends money on through our joing checking account.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Sad,

I know it's hard, but don't waste time worrying about what your H is doing or not doing. The bottom line is you can't do anything about it anyway and it obviously isn't making you feel better. This isn't about him anymore, it's about you.

I do think it would be wise to tell your friends before hand, just so they are more prepared and you don't feel like you have a ton of explaining to do.

I bet you'll have a great time. That is my wish for you anyway. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

it is my favorite thing to do to get away and unwind. I never get tired of it or bored or lonely when I have done it in the past. I just want to get those 2 weeks, see if I can get myself together during that time. THanks for the support.


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