# Wife Left me After 6 Years



## theittech (Apr 27, 2012)

I have been married to my wife for 6 years we have a 2 year old little girl. 8 Months ago things started to change. She got a new job in the town we live in and things were supposed to be great. No more commuting more money etc. I was very wrong. She started working long hours, got a new cell phone which she hid from me etc. She basically showed all the signs of having an affair. Finally 2 months ago she was working on a Saturday and it was supper time then 7 o clock finally I drove over to her office and point blank asked what was going on why do you want to work on a Saturday afternoon instead of being with your family. She told me I finally figured it out and that she is unhappy and is leaving. She left that night. The next day I called her and basically begged her to come home and work on this. She came home for 2 weeks and they were awful. She came home late, left again till really late, I cooked and cleaned slept on the couch etc. Then finally the next Saturday she said she was going for a drive. She never came back. Never told me she was leaving or anything just left. We have a 2 year old girl which we share week by week custody. We talk but it usually ends in arguments. Finally last week she said shes finished and she will never be coming back and that I need to move on. She came to me and we wrote a separation agreement and she signed everything over and said I just wanna be done. Since then we keep conversations to a minimal and if we talk its very vague and only about our daughter. She has told me this is between us and that she doesn't need to look or say anything to my family. When we were together she was very close to my mom and dad since she left she turns her head when she sees them in town. She doesn't want to look at me or anyone else who knows me. I'm in such severe pain right now, I suffer from depression and I'm just finally now not thinking about killing myself on a hourly basis. I don't really know how to proceed. How do you just move on like she wants me to.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

theittech said:


> I'm in such severe pain right now, I suffer from depression and I'm just finally now not thinking about killing myself on a hourly basis. I don't really know how to proceed. How do you just move on like she wants me to.


You get through it.

You grit your teeth, cry in the dark, get up every morning and make sure your daughters life is is secure and consistent and stable as you can possibly make it.

You do whatever YOU need to do to get through it, if that involves speaking to your family about it you speak to your family about it in fact you`ll have to you`ll be needing their help.

Don`t let your former wife influence the actions you need to take to make yourself strong for your child.
She doesn`t have your or your daughters best interests in mind at all.
You need to.


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## theittech (Apr 27, 2012)

I know that's what I'm trying to do, I love my wife and I love my little girl with all my heart. I went through a bit of a patch when I didn't have my daughter that I would sit and drink but I finally gave my head a shake and said unfortunately as good as the booze make you feel better at the time the pain is worse when the buzz wears off. So now I don't drink at all not even one its just easier to have nothing in the house. However most night I find myself just sitting on the couch crying. I try to hide it as well as I can when I have my daughter but when I don't it hits me like a ton of bricks. My wife just keeps saying its better for our daughter for us to be separate then in a house where I don't love you.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

So do you know who the OM at work is?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

You really shouldn`t have any contact with your former wife that doesn`t directly concern your daughter.

Do you work?
Is your family close to you?
What kind of custody arrangement do you have with your former wife at the moment?


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## theittech (Apr 27, 2012)

There is no OM, as far as I know anyway. In the last 2 months she has been to social outings etc and she goes with her mom  

We currently have shared custody. I have 1 week then she does. My brother moved in with me to keep me company but it doesn't seem to help a whole lot. He is only 21 so he doesn't really understand this. Seeing me cry etc just makes him angrier with my ex and he doesn't wanna talk. I have a good job with lots of good co-workers.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

I'm sorry to hear about what has happened to you.

You need to seek treatment to adequately treat your depression ASAP. See your doctor and tell the doc what you are going through.

Good for you for getting away from alcohol!!

Start working out. Exercise is a great antidepressant. Find activities to keep you busy and meeting people that you can do when you don't have your daughter.

Talk to a lawyer to finish the divorce. Be glad she isn't trying to make things miserable for you with the divorce.

Your STBX did you a favor. There are 3.2 billion women in the world. From a group that size, you can find a woman who is actually good wife material if you are so inclined.

Take each day as it comes. Time will help you heal if you do your part to make it happen.


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## inmygut (Apr 2, 2011)

theittech said:


> I have been married to my wife for 6 years we have a 2 year old little girl. 8 Months ago things started to change. She got a new job in the town we live in and things were supposed to be great. No more commuting more money etc. I was very wrong. She started working long hours, got a new cell phone which she hid from me etc. She basically showed all the signs of having an affair. Finally 2 months ago she was working on a Saturday and it was supper time then 7 o clock finally I drove over to her office and point blank asked what was going on why do you want to work on a Saturday afternoon instead of being with your family. She told me I finally figured it out and that she is unhappy and is leaving. She left that night. The next day I called her and basically begged her to come home and work on this. She came home for 2 weeks and they were awful. She came home late, left again till really late, I cooked and cleaned slept on the couch etc. Then finally the next Saturday she said she was going for a drive. She never came back. Never told me she was leaving or anything just left. We have a 2 year old girl which we share week by week custody. We talk but it usually ends in arguments. Finally last week she said shes finished and she will never be coming back and that I need to move on. She came to me and we wrote a separation agreement and she signed everything over and said I just wanna be done. Since then we keep conversations to a minimal and if we talk its very vague and only about our daughter. She has told me this is between us and that she doesn't need to look or say anything to my family. When we were together she was very close to my mom and dad since she left she turns her head when she sees them in town. She doesn't want to look at me or anyone else who knows me. I'm in such severe pain right now, I suffer from depression and I'm just finally now not thinking about killing myself on a hourly basis. I don't really know how to proceed. How do you just move on like she wants me to.


You have to be strong for your child. Work on yourself, hit the gym. File for divorce and go after child support.Read up on the 180. Buy the Married Man Sex Life bookto improve your sex rank and find a better woman.
There may be an affair. Tell family and friends about the callous way she acted and get support from them. Grieve the loss of your wife, she is dead. There is only a selfish b!itch left that looks like her. Good luck. You will get through this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

She won't talk to your family because she is ashamed of herself. There is another man, and she is having an affair. Don't doubt it for a minute.


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## SRN (Mar 20, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> She won't talk to your family because she is ashamed of herself. There is another man, and she is having an affair. Don't doubt it for a minute.


Bandit, I think I'm becoming more like you. Not sure if thats good or bad... 

But yes, her behavior is very much in line with someone involved in an affair. You can read my story here. Not quite the same, but dramatic shift in personality, always wanting to be at work, starting to work long hours, desperate to get out of the relationship with you ASAP. Sorry man, but she's having an affair. File for divorce and move on. Hardest thing you'll ever do, but you've got to do it for yourself.


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## theittech (Apr 27, 2012)

Unfortunately in Canada you must be separated for a year unless you can PROVE adultery or abuse.


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## Unsure2621 (Mar 23, 2012)

I agree with Bandit and SRN. There is an OM.

I am going through something similar with my H. After 14 years of a very stable marriage he started acting totally out of character. And he left our marriage like his a** was on fire. I was shocked by how fast he just turned and ran and signed all of the separation papers without a wink. And he is doing the same thing he says "Just move on" etc. 

It's because they are in fantasy land.

I forced my stbxh's hand and he admitted adultery. If you don't want to be in limbo for a year I recommend you get some evidence.

I have been separated for 4 months and it does get better. There will be good days and bad. Sorry you are here. But you are in good company.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I strongly suggest you hire a PI and get the proof. You are in your own fog and are in deniel. 

I'm sorry to generalize, but your women has found someone to replace you. Often women will not jump ship enless they can replace the security and stablity that there old relationship provided. there is an emotional connection she has found and even though it seems sudden, she has been setting this up for some time. you just didn't see it.

Sorry man but you have been replaced, quitely investigate and you will find we here at TAM are correct.

At the very least your own investigation or hire a PI , but doing this will give you some unanswed question that will help you move on or fight this. Bottom line is you have no idea what you are up against and until you do you will struggle with the why....


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## profos (Apr 19, 2012)

theittech said:


> I have been married to my wife for 6 years ... I don't really know how to proceed. How do you just move on like she wants me to.


You knew her 6 years. That's nothing. 

Think of it as resetting your life back to where it was right before you met her but now you have a child.

You were ok then, you'll be ok again.


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## theittech (Apr 27, 2012)

I honestly don't think there is an om. What I do know is her mother has helped this whole thing along. When my wife started to be unhappy she went to her mother and her mother kinda piled on. Her mother has never liked me and has been more then willing to pile on when she was upset. My wife told me she has never really been independent and that she wants to be her own person. Since she left she has spent almost every moment with her parents.


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