# Five Things Your “High Drive Spouse” May Never Tell You



## AlphaMale74 (Oct 15, 2014)

https://missionhusband.wordpress.co...gs-your-high-drive-spouse-may-never-tell-you/


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Pretty good article. I even enjoy just rolling around affectionately with Mrs. Conan and laughing.

I have no problem understanding that I'm a freak and I'm comfortable with it.

I will usually masturbate two to three times a day on top of having sex.

If her body could take it, I would never have another date with my hand but I understand that my drive is literally too much for her to sustain.

We got it pretty good though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

That is 100 percent accurate.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Yes, depressingly accurate.


----------



## tonygunner007 (Apr 24, 2015)

There are points i want to draw out from here...

Most people say that LDs are born with it. They say if you're LD, then there is nothing anybody can do about it. They even talk about true LD and fake LD.

IMHO that's a misnomer. First, why was the wife into it when the relationship started (during horny moon)? If it was genetic (or true, as they say), why was her drive high at the beginning?

The truth is that LD is relative. If you desire sex more that your spouse, then your HD and s/he is LD. Imagine an HD man meeting a woman with an higher sex drive. What will you call him? so you see, HD or LD is not absolute. It is *relative*.

And mind you, being an LD or HD doesn't mean you have a problem. It only becomes a problem when it starts affecting your relationship.

The point is that decrease in sex drive is caused by physical and emotional factors. Knowing these factors (in your situation) and dealing with them will improve your sex drive - and reduce the friction.

An LD spouse is not born like that: AN LD SPOUSE CAN CHANGE.


----------



## tonygunner007 (Apr 24, 2015)

tonygunner007 said:


> There are points i want to draw out from here...
> 
> Most people say that LDs are born with it. They say if you're LD, then there is nothing anybody can do about it. They even talk about true LD and fake LD.
> 
> ...


Just to add to my point...

I don't think that the best way to get an LD spouse to have sex is through just talking and getting him/her to do it just because you need it. Sex drive in human increase (and decrease) based on what we're going through at the moment or based on our health status (or both). 

Improving drive by identifying and dealing with these issues IMHO is the best way to go. Sex should not be forced. It should be enjoyed by both.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
From many discussions and from personal experience I think there are really two types of LD people. Some are "situationally" LD - they lack desire because their partners are not romantic, affectionate, do not pull their weight, etc etc. Others though seem "naturally" LD - even in a situation where most people would desire intimacy, they do not.

You will see many posts from HD people here who's spouses do not want intimacy, despite the HD person doing everything you can imagine to try to make things better.

I think that people who are not themselves, or who have not lived with a true LD person, it is difficult to imagine, but it exists and is not that uncommon.


----------



## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

tonygunner007 said:


> There are points i want to draw out from here...
> 
> Most people say that LDs are born with it. They say if you're LD, then there is nothing anybody can do about it. They even talk about true LD and fake LD.
> 
> ...


Not all relationships start the same ,some women were always LD but the guys fell in love with her and was determined to have her. He ignored all of the red flags and felt that through the power of love, she will learn to love sex as much as he does.

Or, she was always LD, but started off the relationship having more sex than what she usually would because of PEA (new relationship hormones). Some people have their libidos spike at the start of a new relationship. There was a study done with rats, the male rat would want to mate with the new female rat rather than the one he was used to. The longer he was in the cage with the same female the less he mated. 

This is why I feel that before marriag people should be together more than 3 years to ensure they are compatible. LDs libido drop after the 3 year mark sometimes.

Most LD people are not just withholding just to punish their partner. They just don't desire sex as often, and forcing the issue sometimes has a negative effect on the situation. 

So, as an LD I disagree with this article. We know you want sex, but just like you can't turn it off, we can't turn it on.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Horny devil!


That's a spambot.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> That's a spambot.


I thought the identical use of my words was odd.

How else to tell?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I thought the identical use of my words was odd.
> 
> How else to tell?


Quote the post (but don't actually post it); you'll see a dead image link at the end.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Quote the post (but don't actually post it); you'll see a dead image link at the end.


Thank you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

After a half century of telling us that the sexual responses of men and women are vastly different from one another, I see no reason not to assume that the reasons behind a lack of any sexual response isn't just as vastly different. If it takes a PhD, a Buddist retreat, new shoes, 1100 hours of heartfelt talking and 301 other things to get her 'in the mood' then it's just as likely that why she's not in the mood is equally complex. The reasons a man is asexual or uninterested in sex or fearful of sex or incapable of sex are biological or the result of some fairly important psychic trauma or, they're gay. And that's pretty much it.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I knew I was missing the Bhuddist retreat part. I got a PhD, she has tons of shoes, we did the steps and every other item except the retreat part... :lol:


----------



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

AlphaMale74 said:


> https://missionhusband.wordpress.co...gs-your-high-drive-spouse-may-never-tell-you/


I think my husband is really starting to get these. My love language is physical touch and I think he really knows that now. I need touch and he's gotten much better about all of it.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I think that's a great article.. I wish I had read something like this when I was younger.. I always had a decent drive.. always initiated when I was in the mood.. and so long as he TRIED.. he got me going...yet still it just flew over my brain, my radar that he needed so much MORE THAN ME...he played it down to a degree I will never understand ....trying to stuff his want.. 

This article is called "what a High drive may never tell you"... I had to laugh because I spoke like ALL OF THESE when I was "in my sexual prime"...... I couldn't stop talking about sex....what I wanted to do to him.. my hands had a gravitational pull towards his body parts.....It was 
*I N T E N S E*....

Honestly... I really had no patience for "NO" when I was wanting it.. and I would get very emotional -just THINKING he didn't want me.. thankfully he was very welcoming & loves sex ...but still I was pushing his limits.. Long live Viagra ! 

I am going to copy this article & throw it in one of my books.. due to my lack of understanding this intensity -until I lived it myself...and will never be the same.. 

I want my own daughter to understand her husband in those early years...when he is in his Prime .. when she may not be feeling it "as much"....doesn't mean her situation will be just like ours was.. but "just in case"..


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

My wife was low drive for the first couple years. She might have gotten in the mood once a month.


She never really thought about sex. But, she was also dealing with severe anxiety... 

After she got the anxiety under control, her drive lifted quite a bit. I think it has something to do with the way testosterone and cortisol effects our sex drives. 
I'm sure there is a lot more to it, but i imagine that played a part.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

