# How to go about seperation



## tryingtocope24 (Sep 27, 2009)

Hello all

Wife and I have decided to try a period of seperation, our state does not allow legal seperations only divorce. So it will be a agreement between us. What should we be talking about in regards to legalitys?


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## Ilovemyfeelings (Oct 20, 2009)

this is a lawyer's question I guess. I'm going through a separation and we have to be separated a year first before divorce...I am in the home...but my husband doesn't want anything just for it to be over....


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## tryingtocope24 (Sep 27, 2009)

I was told if we mediate at the county we could be done in about a month. It is not what I want and when I push her to the edge she pulls back every time. We do not have big issues. It is that walk away wife thing. she want to see if she can make it on her own. I say good luck but don't come back unless you want to fix the problem. don't come back for security.
The questions we had is it will not be legal because florida does not allow seperations legally. So what issues should be discuss. Insurances? support? Contact? Dating? how long? and if she wants to return how do we go about that? I know it would not be binding
but at least we would have it all on the table.
I want her to go and understand how hard it is to support your self then she might understand how hard I have worked to support the family. The kids will stay with me and I will support them 100%.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

How long is she talking about? Is she talking about separation to find herself or separation for divorce?

Texas doesn't do legal separation either.

Figure out what you want to do financially. Have a meeting and set it up to negotiate things. 

My H and keep the bills as are...keep the money as is.
We agreed keep everything the same..no major purchases without permission. 

If you truly want a separation financially. You'll divide..as if it were a divorce.


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## tryingtocope24 (Sep 27, 2009)

I am thinking 6 to 10 months no more. I will give support, keep insurances paid up. Kids will say with me. She will be 1300 miles away with family and try to see if that is what she wants. We have spoke of divorce but she backs away everytime. She sayd she changes her mind everyday. I think she needs to do it so she will really know how good she has it. The job market sucks everywhere.
Yet she was just offered a dream job Friday which will mess up her plans. Yes, we can agree on everything but can I trust her ???????
We will have to see. It would be a seperation to find herself. If we do it financailly as in divorce she would have to admit to defeat if she came back, and that would stop her from doing so.
Corpuswife I have read many of your post it is funny how you feel so may other are living parallel lives and in the same situation. Thank god we have this site to vent to others.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

trying: I think it's a good idea..if she's moving that far without the kids...to give her some support but an agreement should be made that there are no major purchases without the permission of each other. 

Also...you may agree to not dating others (if that's what you both want).

Another idea...what about how frequent to contact. Do you want no contact or a call once a week or email? That way you both are clear on that communication. She will probably have communication because of the kids but you might put boundaries on it being mutual business and kid talk only. 

Just some ideas that we used. No right or wrongs. It's just what you both want.

I agree with the parallel lives. It's good to have immediate support here.


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