# My world has officially crashed....



## KWbuilder (Feb 19, 2012)

Sorry this is kind of a long story....

My wife and I have been married for 20 years and been together 23 years. We met our senior year in high school. Our marriage has been enjoyable but full of tragedy. Our first couple of years were rough like normal but we had our first child after being together 3 years. Life was great! Until one day we got a call that our 4 month old had been injured at our sitters. Very long story itself but will keep it short. He suffered a traumatic brain injury from being shaken and is now totally disabled and lives in a care facility. How we made it past what we went through is beyond me! We just knew we loved each other and had to carry on. 

About 6 years into our marriage she decided she wanted to get her nursing degree. Life was crazy as she went to school full time but we survived and she found a good job which helped us financially. 

About 10 years into marriage we decided to try for another child. She ended up suffering a miscarriage. We were both again devastated. About another year later she gave birth to our second son. Life was looking up but we knew something was wrong because he wasn't able to breastfeed. Turned out he was born with a cleft palate and upon further investigation he was born with a very rare form of Klinefelter's syndrome. We were once again devastated not knowing what the future held. He has some mental and physical disabilities that we have to deal with but we have been lucky since things with him aren't as bad as they could be. 

Our lives have been full of stress and heartbreak. We never really get out much due to lack of support and we just cant leave him with anyone. So we dont get to take trips by ourselves or even get out to dinner ourselves much. My wife has been diagnosed with depression and also has RA. She is on a lot of meds which affects her daily life. She has told me for about the past 2 years she wasn't happy. I wasn't exactly happy either but I loved her so much I didn't want to give up on us. Our sex life has always had its good and bad but had almost become non-existent. I finally asked her last week if she wanted out and she said yes.

I felt like someone ripped my heart right out of me. I was so hurt and yet mad. I asked her if there was anything we could do like MC or anything and she said no and that it was over. She isn't really even "in love" with me anymore. Its all I can do to function these days. Our lives are so crazy and anything but normal and she said that is what she seeks....normalcy. We had many plans and things we wanted to do in life but she says that we will never get to do those things because we will always have to care for our youngest son. She feels this is best for both of us because if we share the custody we will both get breaks and will be able to see, do and experience those things....even if its with other people. I understand what she is saying but I don't feel this is the right answer. I would give anything to keep her but she says she is physically sick from the stress of our lives. She wants to be civil about all of it as we will always have to work with each other for the sake of our young son. The thought of her being happy and doing the things we were meant to do together with someone else makes me sick. I love this woman so much but I feel I have no choice but to let her go. She even made an appointment at an attorney so we could start our dissolution....we went on Valentines Day of all days.

We are currently trying to stay at the house until we can sell it but its been so hard. I am trying to be civil to her but I am just so hurt over this. Just wanted to share this and hear what people have to say. I dont have a lot of friends I can talk to.

Thanks for listening and sorry its so long...


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Sorry you are here with us. 
I know that it's such a struggle that you are in for through all those years together it's so hard to let go. Maybe her mind will change as the process starts to hit her. You will find a lot shared pain and strength here on TAM.


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## KWbuilder (Feb 19, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Sorry you are here with us.
> I know that it's such a struggle that you are in for through all those years together it's so hard to let go. Maybe her mind will change as the process starts to hit her. You will find a lot shared pain and strength here on TAM.


Thanks....I'm hoping for a miracle that she will see the grass isn't always greener. Just found this site and it seems great so far!


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## KWbuilder (Feb 19, 2012)

I guess I didnt really say it but I am looking for some input on this. Am I wrong to feel her reason isnt really a good reason to divorce? I have always felt that in life you "play the hand you're dealt". Im not asking people to picks sides....just what others think.


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## talkitout (Feb 21, 2012)

KW, I share your pain. I recently had my live-in GF of 6 years tell me she no longer wanted to be with me too. I am so devastated. Each and every day is a struggle. My appetite has dwindled down to nothing. I don't get any enjoyment from anything. I do think a lot and wish things were different. I have no words that can help you, just know you are not alone. I am about to go to church. May God help me, you, and everyone in this time of need.


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