# She left, now what?



## IvanDrago (Jul 9, 2011)

After almost a year of trying to put the pieces back together my wife told me this weekend that she can't be married to me anymore. She's been pushing me away by drinking, we were both sober, but I think that's by design. I just don't get it. 
She's got a subscription (multiple issues) but the main thing for me is her drinking. She started drinking while I was in Afghanistan and hid it from me at first. I found a bottle in her purse one morning (the blue Grey Goose top was poking out), I got scared, and we looked at separation but didn't follow through. She had convinced herself that she could "drink socially" but ended up mostly getting **** canned at home. We tried counseling (she wouldn't make the time or effort) and I thought things were OK after a vacation but not so much. It's been bad for the past few months. She's been pushing me away, getting drunk, and playing the I'm not "IN love with you" as well as the "you deserve better" games. My support was there if she wanted it I wasn't going to leave because she wasn't being herself or needed help. I wanted her to get sober and try to work it out, but she's walking away. She's going on a trip for an undetermined period to live the spoiled white dream of running away from life's problems in the third world. She says she doesn't want any money (we have no communal property) and I'm getting that down on a separation agreement ASAP. I'm at the point where I just want to be done and not have to rip the scab off when she up and decides to come back. So, now what?


----------



## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

Mate you got it tuff, you mention support but do you love her, if not then she has made her own decision. Silly question but why did she start drinking and when? Is it guilt? You need to ensure you have a roof over you and in time if she wants to come back you can make that decision. I hope all works out for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## IvanDrago (Jul 9, 2011)

I love my wife, that's why I married her, I'm sorry if that wasn't clear. Though I have begun to question whether or not she was ready for the commitment or maybe didn't want to say no. She started drinking again while I was deployed but didn't come clean until I found the bottles. I don't know why, other than the easy answer: she's an alcoholic and that's what they do. I've got the big paycheck, family, and friends to lean on. I just don't know what to do now... Act single? Act married? Is it weird that I feel a bit relieved to be on my own again? Don't get me wrong I'd love to stay married to my wife, but it doesn't look like that's in the cards. One day at a time I guess.


----------

