# anal play...men



## ZkPl7 (May 19, 2012)

does anyone have any tips on doing this to my husband without emasculating him? I know he wants to engage in some anal play but he has a lot of shame associated with anything that could be called 'gay' by some people who don't have any idea what they're talking about. he won't talk about this very much at all; I don't know how to achieve both goals at once of making him feel good and makingh im feel like a man.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Give bj, move down and lick balls, then go further and lick ass, leaving it wet. Go back to bj and slide a finger in bum. 

If he loves this, overtime the next few weeks graduate to another finger. If he still gives you hints he wants anal play without ever talking about it, move to anal beads or a small anal plug. 

Truth is, gay or not, COMMUNICATE. Talking to you has nothing to do with him doing something others consider gay. Let him know, OTHERS won't know (except us), and he can trust you'll keep it between the two of you. If he trusts you won't tell your friends, his friends, or anyone he will be more open. Ask him what type of anal play he wants, otherwise us suggesting things that some people do consider gay doesn't help much. Some people think a man doing ANYTHING anal is gay, period. Tell your husband lets live our lives for us, not for others.


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## ZkPl7 (May 19, 2012)

Aristotle said:


> Give bj, move down and lick balls, then go further and lick ass, leaving it wet. Go back to bj and slide a finger in bum.
> 
> If he loves this, overtime the next few weeks graduate to another finger. If he still gives you hints he wants anal play without ever talking about it, move to anal beads or a small anal plug.
> 
> Truth is, gay or not, COMMUNICATE. Talking to you has nothing to do with him doing something others consider gay. Let him know, OTHERS won't know (except us), and he can trust you'll keep it between the two of you. If he trusts you won't tell your friends, his friends, or anyone he will be more open. Ask him what type of anal play he wants, otherwise us suggesting things that some people do consider gay doesn't help much. Some people think a man doing ANYTHING anal is gay, period. Tell your husband lets live our lives for us, not for others.


great answer. thanks!


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I would also advise using your tongue and getting it right up there - feels amazing and gets it ready for a finger or two


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## As You Wish (Jun 5, 2012)

Aristotle said:


> Give bj, move down and lick balls, then go further and lick ass, leaving it wet. Go back to bj and slide a finger in bum.


This is how my husband likes it, but we do it in the shower, so i can just use a soapy finger or two. That's the extent of anal that he's interested in, so that's all the advice I can give. lol

The tongue is awesome, too. OMG yes.


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## GhostRydr (Jun 2, 2012)

A soapy finger in the butt may burn...try using some some KY in the bedroom and he may just "open up"


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

But watch your fingernails! OUCH! if you have sharp corners on them, it hurts like a summab¡tch!


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

I have done a small version on anal play on my husband. Just finger tip..and he loved it..be moaned like crazy....yet he was also drunk. Even though he enjoyed it so much, he will not let me go near his "back side" sober, ever. I have told him its not gay...I am his wife. Its still a no go. So I don't push the issue. Really the pleasure is his loss...its not like I'm super eager to fondle his butt, but willing to do it to make him feel good. Lol


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## HappyWife40 (Aug 23, 2011)

I highly recommend an Aneros. Prostate Massage, Sex Toys for Men, Male G-Spot, Prostate Stimulators Stimulation, Anal Toys 
I bought the MGX for my husband and according to him, his orgasms are now off the charts.


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## ZkPl7 (May 19, 2012)

does anyone have a a husband/ male significant other that was sexually abused/raped as a child? this is one big problem that is obviously impacting our relationship sexually, especially in this area.


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## nxs450 (Apr 17, 2012)

I don't know about the tongue in the a*s. If so it better be damn clean. I know I wouldn't do it to my wife unless I new it was fresh out of the shower, and even then it might be a problem. But a lubed finger caressing around it, and just inside stimulating the prostate can be very intense for me.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Nope,none of that stuff for me!
I'm adventurous in bed , tried lots of stuff , but just not into that.


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## finebyme72 (Jul 12, 2011)

But make sure that the two of you shower together beforehand. He may have cleanliness anxiety if you just surprise him with it.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

do it whilst you're giving him a blow job and you'll have to scrape him off the ceiling :smthumbup:


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

Sorry for bullets only:

Agree with others about cleanliness. This may help. 

A little booze is always good to lose inhibitions.

Perhaps let him know you have read allot about anal pleasure for you (now you don't have to agree to anal sec. but, perhaps the use of a small plug) lead by example if you have not already monkey see monkey do LOL. Plus it may help with the "gay" stigma. For example i used to date a women who used to climax like crazy from anal and don't think she was alone. There are scientific reasons why this is so pleasurable. If you find info to support this activity you may want to share. It certainly beats another post about missmatched libitos or porn, or to swallow/bj or not LOL. 

I have become increasingly interested in anal play for me. I was raised very OPEN but, still...men are conditioned to avoid anything that points to homosexual tendansies no matter how slight or seemingly rediculous. 

You might also put it in the context of "prostrate massage" men (some/many) like science to explain things. Point out to him that this is why men like it..not that they want another man in any way.


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

ZkPl7 said:


> ...he has a lot of shame associated with anything that could be called 'gay' by some people who don't have any idea what they're talking about. he won't talk about this very much at all;


I'm in the same boat as your husband. Wife has suggested this is something she could do to me, and has also suggested that she likes this and anal sex... and it's not going to happen either way. Not ever. Kid's can be cruel, but I clearly remember the names I was called in school. They were wrong, and I will prove it. This is about as much as I want to talk about it, so if he doesn't want to discuss it, I wouldn't press it.


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## ZkPl7 (May 19, 2012)

MrVanilla said:


> I'm in the same boat as your husband. Wife has suggested this is something she could do to me, and has also suggested that she likes this and anal sex... and it's not going to happen either way. Not ever. Kid's can be cruel, but I clearly remember the names I was called in school. They were wrong, and I will prove it. This is about as much as I want to talk about it, so if he doesn't want to discuss it, I wouldn't press it.


I understand and I'm sorry people called you those names. he was called names in school too and his father and brother were really cruel with these kinds of things too. we've discussed it a lot, he knows he is secure with us and he has expressed in his way that he wishes he could do this stuff...but is still hung up about it. do you have the desire to do this? I know you said never would you do it, but does it sound like something you'd physically enjoy?


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

This is the very question that I’ve had so much trouble answering as of late. 

In high school, when I first became sexually active, I had no idea what I was doing. Everyone talked about sex and from a social standpoint, I believed this was something I was supposed to want and yet could not find. In college, my goals changed. I sought a long-term relationship - found one - and from that moment on, my ideas of sex changed. 

My first ‘longer-term’ partner taught me about the great disparity between a man’s ability to be sexually satisfied versus the woman’s needs. In every sexual encounter since then, I demanded from myself the physical ability to ‘outlast’ my partner - which meant that I to physically learn how to ignore pleasurable stimulus. The sooner I gave-in to pleasurable stimulus, the sooner love-making was over - and the sooner it’s over - the higher the probability she’s not satisfied. 

So I’ve spent my my adult sex life in a constant denial of pleasure... if it feels good, I should avoid it. 

What that has translated into now is that I don’t want tons of foreplay, have very negative interests in sex acts that are not vaginal - and the last thing in world I want is any more pleasurable stimulations. 

Yes, I understand - now - that those childhood insults were hurled by kids who probably didn’t know the meaning of their words - but I swore to myself then that I’d never participate in certain sex acts. Apparently keeping promises means something to me. (even the stupid ones?) So now, all these years later, I have two ingrained reasons not engage in any anal play. 

These restrictions on my part, became terribly problematic when my wife of nearly two decades suddenly professes her great desire to engage in a litany of different sex acts. She went from seemingly satisfied with our loving vaginal sex, to asking for oral, anal, light bondage, rough sex, and confessing to a host of highly unusual past experiences... 

Oh, lucky me. What do I want out of all these new opportunities? I want someone to please give me back my real wife, because I’m not sure I want this woman around my kids.

So please, talk to your husband 

- and the sooner the better -


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> I would also advise using your tongue and getting it right up there - feels amazing and gets it ready for a finger or two



This...go slow. Also let him know how much it turns you on.


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## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

If he knows and understands about your G-spot all you really need to tell him is that he has one, too, but you can only access it through his anus. If you haven't read about prostrate milking / massage I highly recommend. I presented this to my husband as a "let's try this and see what's in there, shall we?" He's a mans man and completely dismisses anything 'gay' so presenting it the way I did helped a lot. We discussed it at length in the shower and I demo'd my little tiny female finger and how small and non threatening it was. He was pretty game after that. It helps to start in the shower and get everything really clean ... you can sort of loosen things up there before the main event. He really likes it with something else fun going on - HJ, BJ or both.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

My DW is scared of that area on me, but has no issues with me going there with her. She only says that she's not comfortable with that.

A long time ago, in the shower when she was washing me down there she touched me with the soapy finger. I moaned and let her know I like that. She didn't penetrate or stay long, but it was just a quick touch. That could be one way to sneak in there on him.

Second, when she used to give me HJs she would press on my perineum when asked me what I wanted. I also asked her to touch my down further but she said she wasn't comfortable. A few times when we had been drinking, it was late, and I was having trouble getting there she was push further down. It wasn't quiet touching my anus but the angle put the same pressure on the opening there. It was amazing and I O'd very quickly. I let her know how much I liked that. I think she did it on purpose to get me to go since I was taking too long. So that might be another way to get him used to receiving pleasure from there. Sort of an indirect pressure.


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