# Porn's effect on women



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

There has been a lot of discussion of porn's effect on men's sex lives - everything from it providing a unrealistic and damaging idea of real sexual behaviors, to impotence and lack of desire for real world sex.

A fair number of women watch porn as well. Has anyone noticed in themselves or a partner negative effects from women's viewing of porn? Do women tend to get addicted to porn the way some men do. 

**** I don't want this to be another men vs. women, who is better thread, effects of porn on men are discussed in a lot of other threads *******

The real question is whether women and their partners should be concerned about porn use in women.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

This is a really good question @uhtred as I really haven't seen this aspect of porn use being explored, at least here on TAM.

I've been an active consumer of porn since I left college round 18/19. I would view daily while on my period and often right before. I'm horniest around that time. 

Although my partner is not aware of this, there were aspects on my interest in porn that created an unhealthy dynamic in our relationship. We were long distance for quite some time. This didn't happen all the time but often times I would have a video playing in the background while we would have skype sex. He'd need me to cum to feel that I was satisfied and it was difficult for me to do so by just watching him masturbate. Watching a d*** really just doesn't do much for me. I needed to watch a sex act in order to cum for him. For obvious reasons, I never shared this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here is some reading on the topic.

Pornography Addiction a Growing Problem Among Women

Why more and more women are using pornography 

I included that below link despite it's comments about porn being wrong because of Christian beliefs. The article brings up other issues that I think are interesting.

Women and Porn Addictions: Top 10 Things To Understand


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Here is some reading on the topic.
> 
> Pornography Addiction a Growing Problem Among Women
> 
> ...


Thanks for these links @EleGirl, very eye opening. I feel like I could easily have become someone who was addicted to porn as I do have addictive tendencies. 

What I find interesting is that a woman's interest in watching porn does not seem to have the same damaging effect on the man. I've come across many stories on TAM about women who view their partner's use of porn as damaging and perhaps the utmost disrespect. Is that also the case for some men? If this is not the case, why? 

Any women been with/know of men responding negatively to their partner viewing porn (outside of religious concerns)? How did these men feel? In what way was it hurtful to them?


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I think porn does paint a very unrealistic image to women about how quick a plumber can show up at your house ...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Keke24 said:


> Thanks for these links @EleGirl, very eye opening. I feel like I could easily have become someone who was addicted to porn as I do have addictive tendencies.
> 
> What I find interesting is that a woman's interest in watching porn does not seem to have the same damaging effect on the man. I've come across many stories on TAM about women who view their partner's use of porn as damaging and perhaps the utmost disrespect. Is that also the case for some men? If this is not the case, why?
> 
> Any women been with/know of men responding negatively to their partner viewing porn (outside of religious concerns)? How did these men feel? In what way was it hurtful to them?


There was one poster on TAM who said that he never could understand why women were so upset about their partner/husband using a lot of porn.. until his wife started doing it. He had a huge problem with it. I do not recall the poster's name. He might still be a member here.

From my point of view, the biggest issue with porn us is two fold:
1) when it interferes with the couple's sex life--when the porn user prefers porn to sex with their partner.
2) when the porn user expects their partner to perform like the porn stars


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EllisRedding said:


> I think porn does paint a very unrealistic image to women about how quick a plumber can show up at your house ...


Really! What up with that? >


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## areenhaque26 (Jan 27, 2017)

EllisRedding said:


> I think porn does paint a very unrealistic image to women about how quick a plumber can show up at your house ...


Lmao 😂😂😂

Areen


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## Itwasjustafantasy (Jan 8, 2016)

I believe that any addiction is unhealthy.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

uhtred said:


> There has been a lot of discussion of porn's effect on men's sex lives - everything from it providing a unrealistic and damaging idea of real sexual behaviors, to impotence and lack of desire for real world sex.
> 
> A fair number of women watch porn as well. Has anyone noticed in themselves or a partner negative effects from women's viewing of porn? Do women tend to get addicted to porn the way some men do.
> 
> ...


Do you include both the printed word porn and the video/picture porn in your question? Both have their own damaging effect. Sorry 50 Shades but that means you too. Although some have said you "helped".


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think you will find a LOT of variation, both in how it affects men, and how it affects their partners.

There is a general belief (true or not) that men are more likely to view women as sex object than are women to view men that way. That makes it more likely that someone would interpret a man's viewing of porn as fitting this negative pattern.

A biological factor is that most men can only have sex a very limited number of times per day, so watching porn may deprive their partners. Many women can have sex as often as they want. Of course this doesn't apply to the percentage of women who lose interest in sex for a significant time after they have had an O.

I would view my wife watching porn as negative if I believe it was substituting for intimacy with me. Finding out that she had turned me down for sex, then got off to a porno would make me unhappy. 







Keke24 said:


> Thanks for these links @EleGirl, very eye opening. I feel like I could easily have become someone who was addicted to porn as I do have addictive tendencies.
> 
> What I find interesting is that a woman's interest in watching porn does not seem to have the same damaging effect on the man. I've come across many stories on TAM about women who view their partner's use of porn as damaging and perhaps the utmost disrespect. Is that also the case for some men? If this is not the case, why?
> 
> Any women been with/know of men responding negatively to their partner viewing porn (outside of religious concerns)? How did these men feel? In what way was it hurtful to them?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I was thinking of video / picture hard core porn. 

Written erotica / romance novels is a different but very interesting topic. 




EunuchMonk said:


> Do you include both the printed word porn and the video/picture porn in your question? Both have their own damaging effect. Sorry 50 Shades but that means you too. Although some have said you "helped".


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

uhtred said:


> I think you will find a LOT of variation, both in how it affects men, and how it affects their partners.
> 
> There is a general belief (true or not) that men are more likely to view women as sex object than are women to view men that way. That makes it more likely that someone would interpret a man's viewing of porn as fitting this negative pattern.
> 
> ...


Ahh. So if it affects intimacy then the response is similar from both genders. That makes sense.

Outside of these situations however, some women are seriously hurt by it. Often the perspective is that he'll be comparing the pornstar's body to hers in the future, he's not happy with the way she looks, he's not satisfied with her sexually etc. By just finding out their partner has viewed porn, regardless of the fact that it has no effect on their sexual intimacy. This is what I'm most interested in. In instances where a woman is not addicted, does not choose porn over husband and occasionally views porn in private. Does the male ever view it as damaging as a woman might?


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Keke24 said:


> Does the male ever view it as damaging as a woman might?


I think that a significant percentage of men would also develop a sense of inadequacy over their own bodies if their wives expressed a strong sense of attraction for a porn star.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I believe that could be true, but it would be interesting to hear from a man who felt that way. (I don't). 



Steve1000 said:


> I think that a significant percentage of men would also develop a sense of inadequacy over their own bodies if their wives expressed a strong sense of attraction for a porn star.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MY husband would be very unhappy If I looked at porn, just as i would if he did. Its good we think the same way about it, thats its a no no.
I would see it as incredibly unloving and disrespectful to my husband if I did that. I am not going to compare him to anyone, and dissatisfaction is deadly for a marriage.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Really! What up with that? >


Yeah, what's up!

Any healthy man can "plumb her". He has the tubing and the solder. The lady offers the heat and the flux.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> MY husband would be very unhappy If I looked at porn, just as i would if he did.


I would love it if my wife looked at porn. That would mean she has a sex drive. If she does, then we can work together to find a way to satisfy it. If I can't, but someone else can, then we should divorce and both be happier. As it is, it seems she has none and that precludes any mutually satisfying solution. If she is dissatisfied because I stink in bed, there is a possibility of us both becoming satisfied. If the only way she can be satisfied is if we have no sex, then there is no mutually satisfying resolution.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

I watch porn fairly regularly. I also have a healthy sex life with my H. I've never turned him down for sex, even if I'm not in the mood. 

He thinks it's hot that I watch porn. It legit turns him on. We both talk about the kind of porn we like, share videos with each other, watch it together. Not all the time mind you, but here and there. We're very open with each other. Neither of us get insecure over it. People get too hung up over "perfect bodies" I think.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Keke24 said:


> Any women been with/know of men responding negatively to their partner viewing porn (outside of religious concerns)? How did these men feel? In what way was it hurtful to them?


I read once that 1% of men who initiate divorce do so because of a wife's porn use. Not sure what percentage of women divorce because of a husband's porn use.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Keke24 said:


> Does the male ever view it as damaging as a woman might?


Maybe if he has erectile dysfunction and his wife asks why he cannot perform as reliably as a male porn star?


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

EunuchMonk said:


> Do you include both the printed word porn and the video/picture porn in your question? Both have their own damaging effect. Sorry 50 Shades but that means you too. Although some have said you "helped".


I think it would have to include written. For myself written stuff gets me going. Porn not as much unless it is really female focused, and not in one girl, five guys kind of way

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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

Keke24 said:


> Ahh. So if it affects intimacy then the response is similar from both genders. That makes sense.
> 
> Outside of these situations however, some women are seriously hurt by it. Often the perspective is that he'll be comparing the pornstar's body to hers in the future, he's not happy with the way she looks, he's not satisfied with her sexually etc. By just finding out their partner has viewed porn, regardless of the fact that it has no effect on their sexual intimacy. This is what I'm most interested in. In instances where a woman is not addicted, does not choose porn over husband and occasionally views porn in private. Does the male ever view it as damaging as a woman might?


I'm not a male so I can't speak from that perspective, but wouldn't some find it a turn on? Why would men, whom a large portion of indulge in porn, be upset if their wives watched porn unless they didn't watch it themselves. 

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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

jld said:


> I read once that 1% of men who initiate divorce do so because of a wife's porn use. Not sure what percentage of women divorce because of a husband's porn use.


The number is way higher for women initiating divorce. That being said, the amount of women watching porn is on the rise so the number of divorces resulting from porn will probably fall. 

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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

jld said:


> Maybe if he has erectile dysfunction and his wife asks why he cannot perform as reliably as a male porn star?


Does he have it from watching too much porn? (sorry, tongue in cheek response. I couldn't help it) 

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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mollymolz said:


> The number is way higher for women initiating divorce. That being said, the amount of women watching porn is on the rise so the number of divorces resulting from porn will probably fall.
> 
> Sent from my E2306 using Tapatalk


Porn use is cited in 60% of divorces now. Thats massive. Its so damaging.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Holdingontoit said:


> I would love it if my wife looked at porn. That would mean she has a sex drive. If she does, then we can work together to find a way to satisfy it. If I can't, but someone else can, then we should divorce and both be happier. As it is, it seems she has none and that precludes any mutually satisfying solution. If she is dissatisfied because I stink in bed, there is a possibility of us both becoming satisfied. If the only way she can be satisfied is if we have no sex, then there is no mutually satisfying resolution.



Your situation is very different. For me porn use would damage the intimacy we have.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

[*QUOTE=EleGirl;17346649]There was one poster on TAM who said that he never could understand why women were so upset about their partner/husband using a lot of porn.. until his wife started doing it. He had a huge problem with it. I do not recall the poster's name. He might still be a member here.*

Ele,

This could have been me. At least I was in a similar circumstance. What I could not ever understand was equating viewing porn to infidelity. I watched porn to make up for a major change of frequency with intimacy both emotional and physical. What opened my eyes to how damaging porn can be is when I found she had replaced me with pornography in both written and visual forms. I never watched porn to replace her or because she did not meet my expectations physically. I watched to fill an enormous void (poor substitute).

What opened my eyes was not really that she watched it and read it but what the content was. I could never compete with what she was looking at and reading.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

uhtred said:


> I think you will find a LOT of variation, both in how it affects men, and how it affects their partners.
> 
> There is a general belief (true or not) that men are more likely to view women as sex object than are women to view men that way. That makes it more likely that someone would interpret a man's viewing of porn as fitting this negative pattern.
> 
> ...


While it's true that a woman can have sex at any time because women, this is very strange view of women's sexuality.

Women cannot really enjoy sex for an unlimited number of times a day. Generally a woman needs a period of time after sex before her can really have the desire for sex again. 

So a woman's desire for sex can be satisfied via porn and/or masturbation. Thus these things could interfere with her sex life with her partner.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

RClawson said:


> *
> 
> 
> EleGirl said:
> ...


Just as most women cannot compete with what men see when they watch porn.


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> Porn use is cited in 60% of divorces now. Thats massive. Its so damaging.


I'm curious, where did you find that statistic? 

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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

RClawson said:


> [*QUOTE=EleGirl;17346649]There was one poster on TAM who said that he never could understand why women were so upset about their partner/husband using a lot of porn.. until his wife started doing it. He had a huge problem with it. I do not recall the poster's name. He might still be a member here.*
> 
> Ele,
> 
> ...


Is the content something she wanted? I find I watch porn with content that is something I'd never want in real life. My husband on the other hand watches porn that is really quite tame. 

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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Just as most women cannot compete with what men see when they watch porn.


I wonder why men appear to be so much more ok with porn then. Why do women have higher rates of insecurity stemming from porn? Or is just that more women make their insecurities known? 

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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Steve1000 said:


> I think that a significant percentage of men would also develop a sense of inadequacy over their own bodies if their wives expressed a strong sense of attraction for a porn star.


That might be true. After all, most porn stars have larger, longer lasting erections than most "normal" men. On the other hand, I think most women are interested in more than just the equipment, and their spouse or bf will typically provide romance, love, conversation, and oil changes. I also think that porn can provide a temporary boost to the libido for women who enjoy watching it, and that may be positive for the relationship (as long as it does not replace sex with their SO).


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

uhtred said:


> The real question is whether women and their partners should be concerned about porn use in women.


My wife and I both sometimes look at porn for us it simply isn't a big deal, so we're not concerned about women (or men) using porn.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Your situation is very different. For me porn use would damage the intimacy we have.


You and your husband have a very loving relationship. You both enjoy [frequent] intimacy with each other.

You are not the exception to the rule, but on TAM you may be. The readership here is HERE for a reason.

Using a WAG, I would put marriages with sexual intimacy problems at 70%. Problems, small, medium and insurmountable, included.

I dunno. Am not an expert, am an observer of humanity.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

I think it would be a turn on for me if my wife viewed porn

Thats the pro

The con is she would know what a real d!ck looks like

55


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mollymolz said:


> I'm curious, where did you find that statistic?
> 
> Sent from my E2306 using Tapatalk


 It was on a study done with divorce solicitors who deal with this stuff all the time. I myself know 2 marriages that ended because of the husbands porn use and the deception and lies it involved.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

uhtred said:


> There has been a lot of discussion of porn's effect on men's sex lives - everything from it providing a unrealistic and damaging idea of real sexual behaviors, to impotence and lack of desire for real world sex.
> 
> A fair number of women watch porn as well. Has anyone noticed in themselves or a partner negative effects from women's viewing of porn? Do women tend to get addicted to porn the way some men do.
> 
> ...




Today, there are many ladies who have high healthy sex drives who aren't getting enough from their men.

Porn is one outlet, just like us men.

The ladies in porn get paid much more than the men. Porn caters to the ladies and the men are almost extras.

The ladies get to be the center of attention, make a lot of money and have great sex.

The ladies can dictate what they will and will not do.

The ladies in porn take care of their bodies, eat healthy, exercise, probably have a trainer and nutritionist and their own toy lines.

There is no negativity for ladies in porn.

Porn is basically a fantasy and doing things you only would dream about.


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

CuddleBug said:


> Today, there are many ladies who have high healthy sex drives who aren't getting enough from their men.
> 
> Porn is one outlet, just like us men.
> 
> ...


This is some of the women in porn. There are also many feeding drug addictions and/or have been forced in to porn through sex trafficking. Look in to feminist porn awards or ethical porn. The women in those films truly are empowered and have choices. 

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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

CuddleBug said:


> Today, there are many ladies who have high healthy sex drives who aren't getting enough from their men.
> 
> Porn is one outlet, just like us men.
> 
> ...


You are being very naive. Many women in porn were sexually abused as children, many are damaged women with no self worth. Many actually hate sex and men. They have been used and abused. That's why they end up doing a job that is so demeaning and soul destroying. 

Would you want your 18 year old daughter to be in porn?To have all those men ogling her? They are all someones daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, friend.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> You are being very naive. Many women in porn were sexually abused as children, many are damaged women with no self worth. Many actually hate sex and men. They have been used and abused. That's why they end up doing a job that is so demeaning and soul destroying.
> 
> Would you want your 18 year old daughter to be in porn?To have all those men ogling her? They are all someones daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, friend.



If you think ladies today are forced into porn, you are very naive.

This is 2017. Ladies today are the same as the men. Same addictions, same jobs to pursue, etc.

I don't buy the poor ladies who were forced into porn because they are drug addicts. Really? Cliche.

You know that the porn industry is very professional today, right?

That means drug screenings, checking for STD's, you name it. They actually try and help their employees.

If my 18 year old daughter went into porn, that is her choice. She is an adult. I don't agree with that choice but it is hers to make. She is not a little baby girl and clueless child. Ladies are more mentally mature at 18 compared to us guys by many years.

Whether ladies are in porn or just at the beaches wearing tiny bikini's , thongs, etc. its the same thing. Us guys will be checking them out. 18+ years of age doesn't matter. Actually ladies are younger than 18 and are still wearing skimpy bathing suits and having sex.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Mollymolz said:


> This is some of the women in porn. There are also many feeding drug addictions and/or have been forced in to porn through sex trafficking. Look in to feminist porn awards or ethical porn. The women in those films truly are empowered and have choices.
> 
> Sent from my E2306 using Tapatalk



All women in porn are the center of attention, make more money than the men and dictate what they will or will not do.

Many ladies get their own toy lines and accessories, making even more money.

When their contract is up, they can quit and do something else, start an adult business or something completely different.

Ladies today aren't clueless children who don't know what they're doing.

They know exactly what they are doing and have control over it.


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

CuddleBug said:


> All women in porn are the center of attention, make more money than the men and dictate what they will or will not do.
> 
> Many ladies get their own toy lines and accessories, making even more money.
> 
> ...


Some do, not all. Do research and don't passively believe that ALL women in porn chose that path. Definitely a lot do. I'm not disagreeing that many love what they do and feel successful. Unfortunately, some of what you see in porn is rape. It is very difficult to stop ot from happening. Sex trafficing in the industry is very real. Look up what Jenna Jameson's experie. Her autobiography is very telling. 

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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Women don't watch porn. They hate sex.


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

Thound said:


> Women don't watch porn. They hate sex.


Sarcasm I hope?

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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

CuddleBug said:


> If you think ladies today are forced into porn, you are very naive.
> 
> This is 2017. Ladies today are the same as the men. Same addictions, same jobs to pursue, etc.
> 
> ...


Not all men do this, some don't look at porn nor ogle teenage girls in bikinis. 

You have a weird idea of porn. I saw a programme a while back with women who used to be in porn films. Many of them were broken by their experiences both before and during. You don't want to see the truth because you look at porn and cant let yourself think that many of these women were victims of child abuse and exploitation. 

I cant understand why anyone would think that porn has no victims.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In reality, many of the women portrayed in pornographic material are runaway girls trapped in a life of slavery. Many having been sexually abused. Some of them are infected with incurable sexually transmitted diseases that are highly contagious and often die very young. Many take drugs just to cope.

Read this, it will open you eyes to what actually happens. The rampant STD's, the abuse, the drug taking. 
http://www.covenanteyes.com/2008/10/28/ex-porn-star-tells-the-truth-about-the-porn-industry/


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

There is a huge range. There are highly paid professional actresses who do the work for the money and because they enjoy it. There are amateurs who are happy to be filmed having sex out of a combination of exhibitionism and wanting some money on the side. There are women who view it as an improvement over prostitution. There are women who feel they have no choice. There are women who are literally forced into porn.

It would take a careful study to see how many are in each category.





Diana7 said:


> In reality, many of the women portrayed in pornographic material are runaway girls trapped in a life of slavery. Many having been sexually abused. Some of them are infected with incurable sexually transmitted diseases that are highly contagious and often die very young. Many take drugs just to cope.
> 
> Read this, it will open you eyes to what actually happens. The rampant STD's, the abuse, the drug taking.
> Ex-Porn Star Tells the Truth About the Porn Industry


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Mollymolz said:


> Sarcasm I hope?
> 
> Sent from my E2306 using Tapatalk


Mostly just being silly. Making a stereotypical comment based on MY experience and threads started by other men here. I realize there are a lot of women who are very sexual. I guess my attempt at humor is mixed with my own bitterness.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Porn only presents a problem when it interferes with intimacy in the marriage. The person watching can't bring intimate energy to the marriage, or the spouse of the person watching can't accept intimate energy because they feel threatened by their spouses porn use.

So the men or women who masturbate to porn and ignore their wives or husbands are the blame. They aren't bringing their sexual energy to the marriage.

The women or men who are threatened or appalled or disgusted by their spouse watching porn and therefore refuse intimacy are ruining the marriage.

If your wife is watching porn or reading porn you need to understand the situations involved in the porn she chooses but more importantly, she needs to agree to bring her sexual energy to the marriage.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> Porn only presents a problem when it interferes with intimacy in the marriage. The person watching can't bring intimate energy to the marriage, or the spouse of the person watching can't accept intimate energy because they feel threatened by their spouses porn use.
> 
> So the men or women who masturbate to porn and ignore their wives or husbands are the blame. They aren't bringing their sexual energy to the marriage.
> 
> ...


You said 'The women or men who are threatened or appalled or disgusted by their spouse watching porn and therefore refuse intimacy are ruining the marriage' 
I don't agree, its the one who is looking at porn who is causing the issues in the marriage, not the one who hates that their spouse looks at it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> You said 'The women or men who are threatened or appalled or disgusted by their spouse watching porn and therefore refuse intimacy are ruining the marriage'
> I don't agree, its the one who is looking at porn who is causing the issues in the marriage, not the one who hates that their spouse looks at it.


I think you're wrong.

If you had no idea your husband watched porn every now and then...it would never affect you or your marriage...so long as you felt he was saving all his loving for you.

But once you discovered he watched porn, even if he never masturbated and never left you hanging and always made you feel loved, you would send hi out in the cold because of how you feel about porn.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> I think you're wrong.
> 
> If you had no idea your husband watched porn every now and then...it would never affect you or your marriage...so long as you felt he was saving all his loving for you.
> 
> But once you discovered he watched porn, even if he never masturbated and never left you hanging and always made you feel loved, you would send hi out in the cold because of how you feel about porn.


I would know if he watched it. He is very honest and transparent.He is also a very moral man. 
If I was married to a man who watched it I would give him a choice, me or the porn. A man who watches porn is not making his wife feel loved or respected, quite the opposite.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> I would know if he watched it. He is very honest and transparent.He is also a very moral man.
> If I was married to a man who watched it I would give him a choice, me or the porn. A man who watches porn is not making his wife feel loved or respected, quite the opposite.


You are skirting the essential question. If you were married to a man who, like many men, denies watching porn; think it's not a big deal because he doesn't do it very often, yet made you feel loved and respected, porn would not affect your marriage...until you found out about his rare porn viewing. 

You only know what you know because all signs suggest your knowledge is true. 

Moral husband, check. Honest husband, check. Transparency, check. Saves his loving for you, check. None of those behaviors, alone or all together, absolutely reject porn from reaching your husband's eyes ever. Therefore, it is possible that he has seen porn. It is also possible he sometimes sees porn, though only a few minutes when he stops by his brother's house to let the dog out maybe once a month and because your husband doesn't really consider those accidental porn views as watching, and because he saves his loving for you, you feel loved and respected. 

If your husband watched and you never knew porn would never affect your marriage.
If your husband watched and rarely wanted sex, porn would affect your marriage.
If your husband watched, yet still wanted you, and you found out he watched, porn would affect your marriage.

Porn only affects a marriage when intimacy is denied, denied due to overload masturbation or denied due to spite for feeling threatened. Porn itself doesn't affect a marriage.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

Personally, I'm grossed out by the voyeur porn where people who are minding their own business and enjoying a slice of life are uploaded to the internet by some a-hole with a camera. You want to upload pictures of yourself having sex? Fine. Up to you. You want to turn every person who's enjoying a bit of sun and freedom into a porn spectacle? Then you're an a-hole.

I'm also grossed out by slave trade exploitation that is actually a very real part of the porn industry. Women (or men) are not things to be bought and sold and traded for sexual gratification. We're people. 

But outside of that sort of exploitation, it's all just sex, and ultimately no big deal, IMHO.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> You are skirting the essential question. If you were married to a man who, like many men, denies watching porn; think it's not a big deal because he doesn't do it very often, yet made you feel loved and respected, porn would not affect your marriage...until you found out about his rare porn viewing.
> 
> You only know what you know because all signs suggest your knowledge is true.
> 
> ...


Believe me he doesn't see it. He even closes his eyes when adverts come on with scantily dressed ladies, he did that long before we met. He is even stricter than me with these things. I love him for it. 
I would never deny him sex out of spite, but I would not marry a man who thought porn was ok. Its a totally no no for both of us. It would ruin the intimacy and good sex that we have.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

While some is real, I suspect the great majority of "voyeur" porn is actually staged. I agree that uploading pictures / videos without someone's consent is wrong and illegal. 

The slave trade part is of course completely horrible. It also mystified me - there is so much porn on the web, how can there be any money to be made in slave trade porn. I believe it exists, I just don't understand the economics.




wild jade said:


> Personally, I'm grossed out by the voyeur porn where people who are minding their own business and enjoying a slice of life are uploaded to the internet by some a-hole with a camera. You want to upload pictures of yourself having sex? Fine. Up to you. You want to turn every person who's enjoying a bit of sun and freedom into a porn spectacle? Then you're an a-hole.
> 
> I'm also grossed out by slave trade exploitation that is actually a very real part of the porn industry. Women (or men) are not things to be bought and sold and traded for sexual gratification. We're people.
> 
> But outside of that sort of exploitation, it's all just sex, and ultimately no big deal, IMHO.


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