# hurt and confused



## shelle0827 (Mar 20, 2007)

I have been with my husband for 5 years this August and wehave been married for 2 of those 5 years..I am also pregnant with our first child due in June, For the past 5 years my husband and I have had a lot of hurdles we had to cross, and have made it through anything that has been thrown at us. But theres one issue that seems to keep coming around. When I first moved in with my husband about 4 years ago I was home alone one night and he had his old cell phone at the house and I was just looking at it...dont really know why....but i had notice he hadnt deleted his last txt messages from it and there were a few on there that were to women!!!! Wanting to get togehter with them So naturally i assumed he was cheating on me and I confronted him about it.. he swears it was all talk. So I believed him Well for the last 5 years this seems to keep happening from time to time. I will see emails, txt messages, myspace messages. I hate snooping but its like if I didnt then I would never know about these messages. He swears its all talk and hes never actually gone through with it all and I tell him Verbal is just as bad as Physical. But last year when I had seen it I said it was enough...I gave him an ultimadum and told him it was either he smarten up or I am out. And well he did fine til now....I was checking something on his phone and he can access his email on his phone and I saw some more messages....I went off on him, I mean I am pregnant now!!! So it hurts more and makes me more confused!!!!! I just dont know what to do anymore. Hes such a great husband and thats what makes me so confused..if he sucked my decision would me so much easier...I just am soo hurt by this..Other than this one problem we have a great relationship and we have a great marriage. He says he Loves me so much and doesnt want to lose me and he knows he has a problem and swears on everything that hes never actually cheated on me. Which I want to believe cause I dont see where he would have the time really but I just dont know 100%. Has anyone else dealt with this? I dont want to get a divorce especially now that we are having a baby together


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## lilwalk (May 20, 2007)

Dangerous territory ...if the verbal communication with other women makes you uncomfortable, he should not be doing it...and that is definitely the start of infidelity...if you had not caught him, it would still be going on and it would most definitely escalate, regardless of what he says. I understand your position but he is not trustworthy.


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## grace (Jul 26, 2007)

Me and my husband have been married for 7 years. OUr marriage has always been awesome, he's such a great husband, friend, very respectful of me and we have 3 children. I was always so confident of our relationship and we were always looked at as the relationship people wanted. He would joke about other girls and I joked back being that I was so comfortable and he never gave me a reason to not trust him. I thought never, January of this year I found out he had an affair last year. My advice to you is that they say be careful what you say, and your husband is playing with fire. I found out that my husband had messed around like that also with girls but never took it anywhere, flirted, knew he could but didn't and than temptation got the best of him and he took it all the way. I pray that he is not having an affair and he is telling the truth, it is so destructive when your mate goes out on you and so hurtful. We are working on it but things will never be the same. the betrayal that is felt causes you to completely fall out of love with the one person you loved so much. At least for me it did, lilwalk is very right, he is in dangerous territory and these girls are so easy and eager. the girl my husband cheated on me with knew he was married with children, they just don't care and if they are willing to be his secret, he'll probably go for it. 

I would say to pray, pray for God to reveal what your husband is doing if he is doing anything. Watch out for yourself, if you need answers find them, call these girls back, get there numbers. 

I wish you the best.


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