# Question about GPS trackers



## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

If I could find a GPS tracker small enough to hide in my husband's suitcase to find out where he's going when he travels, is it ethical to leave it on when I know he's getting on an airplane? Would it interfere with the navigation system of the plane? (I don't want THAT on my conscience!) Do the people who search the baggage look for things like that and tear the bag apart?

Thanks in advance for any info!


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

I_Will_Survive said:


> If I could find a GPS tracker small enough to hide in my husband's suitcase to find out where he's going when he travels, is it ethical to leave it on when I know he's getting on an airplane? Would it interfere with the navigation system of the plane? (I don't want THAT on my conscience!) Do the people who search the baggage look for things like that and tear the bag apart?
> 
> Thanks in advance for any info!


Do you realize you are forcing transparency?

It is invasive and controlling... and will only backfire if he is not willing to do that for you. It is wrong, no matter what reasons you may think justify it.


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

I do not know your situation - but I assume you feel you have every right to keep track of him based on previous experiences?

Has he shown a willingness at all to prove that he will earn your trust?

If so.. have you asked him, kindly, what he plans to do to help you with your insecurity about knowing what is going on throughout his travels away from home?


My husband offered to let me track him.. He even "checks in" throughout the day for me, even though I have a constant means of locating him when ever I want. He is aware of it, and he is OK with it, because he was in control when he suggested it.



***** Incase anyone is curious - we use a free app on our smart phones - Life360. 
He originally suggested that I place the tracker on his phone through our service - this one would have allowed me to track him, but not him to track me.. which he understood and was ok with. We used it for a short while, and then I learned about Life360, a free alternative. Although it allowed him to track me as well, I did not mind.. and suggested that we save the money and use that one instead, and he agreed.. I prefer it too, because he began to use the "check in" feature without my asking - which shows that he can still feel in control over the situation, and feel good about showing me that he is willing to work to earn my trust -- vs being forced and feeling resentful.


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

If I thought I could get him to be transparent, there are easier ways. We could put the GPS in his phone and he could turn it off when he's on the plane.

No, this is me trying to figure out where he goes after I realized he's lying. Still lying, still denying. And me trying to prove it.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Security might find it or let it go if it's in carry on. It will not interfere with the navigation systems of the plane, which is also using GPS. You can find GPS tracking devices at China Electronics Store - Cheap Electronics Gadgets - Consumer Electronics Products. Be sure that you have a service to use along with the device. Otherwise you are just sending a device on a trip.

As far as it being ethical, that's a personal decision since you are married. And, what if he finds it?

You can also give him an iphone. Activate Apple's MobileMe on it first. Then you can use a web page to track the location of the phone in the event it gets lost. At least, that's what it's intended use is for. He will never know that MobileMe is even installed.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

It is highly recommended you track a wayward by use of VAR's , spyware, GPS trackers etc. I have not heard of a gps tracker you can hide in his briefcase however dependant on his phone you can load an app that he cannot disable to track his movements.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

Eli-Zor said:


> It is highly recommended you track a wayward by use of VAR's , spyware, GPS trackers etc. I have not heard of a gps tracker you can hide in his briefcase however dependant on his phone you can load an app that he cannot disable to track his movements.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It is highly recommended?

Is it highly recommended to do it by any means, even without their knowledge?

When has it proven effective? If they have the ability to turn focus towards you for also breaking trust, and in turn insulting them (regardless if it proved effective to catch them in a lie to rub in their face) you will only continue to turn in a vicious circle, in my honest opinion.

The only time I noticed any "change" in my husbands constant betrayal and denial... was when I stopped forcing him... stopped hounding him, and backed off. Then his annoyance and anger with me was no longer a distraction .. and he started to realize what was happening - he was beginning to lose me.


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

I_Will_Survive said:


> If I thought I could get him to be transparent, there are easier ways. We could put the GPS in his phone and he could turn it off when he's on the plane.
> 
> No, this is me trying to figure out where he goes after I realized he's lying. Still lying, still denying. And me trying to prove it.


How many times has he broken your trust? 

Is this a continuous thing or do you still only have suspicions?


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

Thank you all for your help. 

By "ethical," I meant, I don't want to cause a plane-crash! That's good to know about the GPS -- so why do they tell us to turn off all electronic devices before takeoff?

I'm not worried about the ethics of tracking a husband who is obviously lying about where he's going and almost certainly has been lying to me and cheating on me for years.

I would do the whole bit - the GPS on the car, etc., but I think he's only cheating when he's out-of-town. Of course, I could be wrong about that too. I don't know anything any more.

I was thinking about hiding it in his actual checked bag. They x-ray carry-ons - it will for sure look like a bomb or something, no?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

allybug said:


> The only time I noticed any "change" in my husbands constant betrayal and denial... was when I stopped forcing him... stopped hounding him, and backed off. Then his annoyance and anger with me was no longer a distraction .. and he started to realize what was happening - he was beginning to lose me.


See her other thread.

Backing off here may not help since he has been doing this for years.

Do what you need to find the evidence (without breaking the law).


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

I_Will_Survive said:


> Thank you all for your help.
> 
> By "ethical," I meant, I don't want to cause a plane-crash! That's good to know about the GPS -- so why do they tell us to turn off all electronic devices before takeoff?
> 
> ...



I understand the need to know the whole truth when he is not giving it to you - regardless of how you must obtain it. 

But it took me a while to realize that there was no point in proving something I already knew. I knew I would get a negative reaction from my husband, yet I did it anyway... and though he had no right to point the finger - I still had to accept responsibility for my actions, because what I did was wrong.

And my constant prying only made the situation spiral out of control even worse.. when I'm well aware that if I had walked away the first time - I could have spared myself many acts he "justified' with my actions, and spared a lot of painful details to add to the movie reel that plays constantly in my mind. I was chasing after him, when he was supposed to be chasing after me.

I just know what it's like to feel the way you do, and I hurt for you.... but I know that you are going to do what you feel is 'right' and what you feel you are entitled to. Which I agree - you are entitled to those things... I just think you are obtaining them the wrong way, and from my experience, I'm afraid it will not provide you with any true satisfaction.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Anytime I've ever asked the flight attendants if I can turn on my GPS while flying, they've been ok with that. But AFAIK, they won't allow it during takeoffs and landings. Don't know if it's more risky then, or they just don't like the passengers to be distracted, or what.

As far as whether it's right or not... That's something only you can decide. Personally, it seems like you've got a couple issues. One, you don't feel you can trust him. And second, he's not willing to work with you on the marriage to rebuild that trust. If he's not willing to work with you on the marriage, your chances of saving it are slim to none.

You could look at something like this:
Real Time Vehicle GPS Tracking

Or this one:
https://buy.garmin.com/shop/shop.do?cID=387&pID=67686

Never used it, not affiliated with either of them in any way. They just showed up in a search for "GPS luggage tracking". You could also try phoning some airlines to find out their rules.

Oh, and if he finds out and didn't happen to be cheating, are you prepared for the consequences?

C


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

allybug said:


> How many times has he broken your trust?
> 
> Is this a continuous thing or do you still only have suspicions?


I left a REALLY long post here last night and edited most of it away this morning. I caught him for sure in an internet affair a few years ago. 

Over the years since, he got his own computer & password-protected it, a new cell-phone on a different provider (also password protected), closed our joint accounts, so that I have no access to any info about him at all.

I feel stupid now but he actually had STD's three times, and told me the doctor said they were "nothing" and I believed him.

Only this past few months has he changed his pattern; now when he travels for work he leaves 24hrs in advance of any scheduled meeting, always at the same time of day. He tells me he's traveling on XYZ airlines to the city of the meeting -- but couple months ago I checked and saw that XYZ doesn't actually fly to any of those cities at that time.

This summer he also started doing that thing where he goes outside for certain calls. He never did that before -- not since the internet affair. 

When I told him I was worried he might be having an affair, he absolutely denied it and got angry when I wanted to talk about the thing in the past. 

I even said once that I wanted a divorce, and he said No, we should work on our problems, but I don't see any effort on his part. He refuses to go back to MC. I think he likes having me around as a "cover" for his double life.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Oh, and as far as proving things go... I know you have another thread somewhere. But really, what will knowing that your husband went to Cleveland when he said he was going to Baltimore show? It doesn't prove he's cheating. You already have proof that he hasn't gone to the cities he said he was going to, based on airline schedules, right?

What does your lawyer say? Are you in a location where proving infidelity makes a difference? Up here, the only thing proving infidelity does is remove the mandatory 1 year waiting period. Other than that, legally it makes no difference in terms of support or custody.

C


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

aug said:


> See her other thread.
> 
> Backing off here may not help since he has been doing this for years.
> 
> Do what you need to find the evidence (without breaking the law).


My husband betrayed me for 3 years, as well.. and I repeatedly did the same thing I hear happening.. I'm not trying to claim I know her situation fully.. 

But even she said she "knows the truth." 

So what is her motivation behind finding hard evidence?

So she can muster up the courage to leave?
So she can "rub his nose in it" and inflict pain on him in an attempt at revenge or satisfaction?

or..

So she can confront him hoping he will stop? Won't she end up embarrassing him, belittling him, insulting him.... won't his resentment towards her for that blind him from accepting the truth of his actions?


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

PBear said:


> Or this one:
> https://buy.garmin.com/shop/shop.do?cID=387&pID=67686
> 
> .... They just showed up in a search for "GPS luggage tracking".


That one is awesome - it's DESIGNED for luggage tracking - the baggage people wouldn't think twice!!

Also, sorry I keep missing everyone's posts - this is a very busy forum, I see! Or I'm a slow typist.... Really appreciate all the help and advice! Thanks again!


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

I_Will_Survive said:


> I left a REALLY long post here last night and edited most of it away this morning. I caught him for sure in an internet affair a few years ago.
> 
> Over the years since, he got his own computer & password-protected it, a new cell-phone on a different provider (also password protected), closed our joint accounts, so that I have no access to any info about him at all.
> 
> ...


I was not trying to make you out to be a bad person by my post, and I apologize if I did. Truth is, I understand you completely ... I do. 

Sounds just like me.

So, can you tell me how you predict this to go? Say you use the tracker, catch him in a lie... what do you think, judging by past experiences.. will happen?

If he said no to a divorce, and you are already aware of the 'truth'.. and he hasn't lived by his promise to work on things... you have only shown him that he can continue to get away with it...

Don't you think he sort of mocks the idea of you leaving him by continuing to lie? Why? Cause you haven't left yet..... right?

What about slamming divorce papers in front of him and telling him, "I don't feel like you have made an effort to work on our marriage.. and I am tired of being hurt. Either we sit down together and put a plan into action, or you help me fill these divorce papers out."


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

I_Will_Survive said:


> That one is awesome - it's DESIGNED for luggage tracking - the baggage people wouldn't think twice!!
> 
> Also, sorry I keep missing everyone's posts - this is a very busy forum, I see! Or I'm a slow typist.... Really appreciate all the help and advice! Thanks again!


Best of luck to you.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

There is no good proven reason to turn off cell phones and such other than to have your attention during the most risky parts of the flight, takeoff and landing. Once you are up high enough, cell phones won't work. Several planes have wi-fi now. But you never see them turn that off.


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

allybug said:


> So what is her motivation behind finding hard evidence?
> 
> So she can muster up the courage to leave?
> So she can "rub his nose in it" and inflict pain on him in an attempt at revenge or satisfaction?
> ...


I hear you. I'm still confused. I don't need evidence for a civil divorce but we're also part of a religious community {don't talk to me about the irony} and also I'm pretty sure without hard evidence that he was unfaithful, he'll blame ME, tell the whole community that I'm crazy and ungrateful and all the other things he already tells me when I try to talk to him about our marriage.

He'll try to turn our kids against me, or fight me about every dime of "his" that I try to pull out of the marriage.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You can also try this one:
GPS Locator Devices for People | www.pocketfinder.com

But on one of their manuals, they say it may not be legal on flights. And there's no on/off switch. Perhaps they can give you more information on the airline information.

C


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

allybug said:


> Don't you think he sort of mocks the idea of you leaving him by continuing to lie? Why? Cause you haven't left yet..... right?
> 
> What about slamming divorce papers in front of him and telling him, "I don't feel like you have made an effort to work on our marriage.. and I am tired of being hurt. Either we sit down together and put a plan into action, or you help me fill these divorce papers out."


Sigh. Yeah. You're right. I know you're right. Doesn't change me wanting evidence, but I'll meditate on it. Thank you.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

The short answer is no. The smallest commonly available GPS tracker SMS logger is 2.5" x 1.7" x 1.1" it will run about a day on its battery, 4-5 days with an external battery backup. Retail price is in the $650-700 range. There's a British company that markets a device called Velo which is slightly larger, purported runs about 4 days on its own power and costs about $200 but it's designed be installed on vehicles, boats, etc. in order to control theft. 

I haven't looked if there are any (jailbreak?) apps you could stealth install on an iPhone or Android that do the same thing since they're location aware anyway. There may be. Typically the way these would work is to regularly send a text to you about where they are. Sprint has the 'Family Locator' program which approximates this using cell tower triangulation as an approximation of location. It costs $10/month, as far as I know no software on the phone is ever required. It's not as precise as civilian grade GPS unless it happens to use GPS.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

HerToo said:


> You can also give him an iphone. Activate Apple's MobileMe on it first. Then you can use a web page to track the location of the phone in the event it gets lost. At least, that's what it's intended use is for. He will never know that MobileMe is even installed.


This won't work as every time "find my iPhone" is usedan e-mail is sent to the Apple ID associated with the phone unless she associates the Apple ID with her e-mail instead of his but that cause a bunch of different problems .

It would alert her husband to her tracking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

allybug said:


> It is highly recommended?
> 
> When has it proven effective?


Dozens of times in this forum alone.

Your advice to allow your cheating spouse the knowledge of his being tracked is extremely naive.

If a were a cheater I'd be thrilled you were my partner as I could continue to cheat while having you believe you knew what I was doing at all times
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Dozens of times in this forum alone.
> 
> Your advice to allow your cheating spouse the knowledge of his being tracked is extremely naive.
> 
> ...


This is after Dday... when I discovered that my suspicions were correct (mind you I tried my hardest to refrain from snooping because he had continued to deny, cover, lie, and twist the story to where I took blame. But I knew that if I promised him I would quit with my suspicions - I was going to keep that promise even if he didn't deserve it..)

Before Dday, I had laid it all out on the line. I told him that I would give it one more go, and I would try my hardest to keep the ugly thought that he would hurt me out of my head because it disrespected his integrity.. but if I were hurt again, I am not sure if the damage would be repairable. 

Then the big Dday happened where the facts came out.

You call it stupid that I even believe him now.. but I have walked. He has watched me remove my wedding ring for the first time, and I have not embraced him like I would. I told him that for the sake of our child, I would be his friend - but I felt that he had not treated me as his wife, so I could not show him that side of me any more. 

I have not yet given in, he knows that I consider my self emotionally separated from him. And he is doing quite a bit of chasing - that he has never done before. He knows that I do not trust him, still. I'm not ready and I won't pretend to be, and furthermore I'm still not sure what I want. I'm not backing down.. I'm considering all of my options. If I choose to fully believe him and use this with the hopes that we can become a better, stronger couple, then I need to realize that our old marriage is dead, our new one is scarred, and I need to be able to let go of the past. It is on my shoulders now, if he is sincere... which, only time will tell. 

Besides, I didn't 'allow' him to be aware of my tracking him. He asked me to. I told him that it would still leave doubt, and he knew that. He said he knew there wasn't going to be a quick fix, but he wanted to try whatever he could. 

What I'm doing is allowing him to work his butt off trying to earn my trust, instead of looking for reasons to stay or go on my own - that would make me the chaser. Not gonna happen. I am not even thinking about if I will be married to him in the next couple of years or not, I'm tackling dealing with my emotions and re-evaluating my self worth. 

But I'm sorry that you have such a hateful outlook on it... It saddens me.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

It won't affect the plane at all, the only problem I can see is security check point with TSA.

Sir, what is that thing in your briefcase and when the husband says I don't know what it is, it's not mine.

I wonder if security is gonna swoop on down and throw down the wrath of god on her husband.

Try explaining that to a government official. TSA does not like hearing I don't know what that is and it's not mine in a person's luggage.

BTW it might be funny to have your husband go through that, but in the end the OP would probably have to sit somewhere and answer a million questions and have every part of her life looked at by the government. Don't ever put anything in someones bags unless they know about it going on an airplane.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

allybug said:


> But I'm sorry that you have such a hateful outlook on it... It saddens me.



I have no idea why you would consider my response "Hateful" as there is nothing in the content of it that implies "hate"

My outlook is not hateful at all, what it is is "realistic".

If I discovered my spouse spent a significant amount of time endangering my life for her own selfish agenda while enabling this agenda through a relationship based upon lies and deceit you can bet she would not be given any trust.

The only trust she could get from me is the kind that has been verified.
Anything else is indeed naive.

This is all hypothetical since I am a person who would be unable to ever give my trust again if infidelity happened.

I wouldn`t need GPS trackers, all I`d need would be a good divorce attorney.

The OP however needs evidence to get to that point and I believe she is well within her rights to get it in ANY manner possible.


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## allybug (Oct 26, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I have no idea why you would consider my response "Hateful" as there is nothing in the content of it that implies "hate"
> 
> My outlook is not hateful at all, what it is is "realistic".
> 
> ...



I thought I was quite clear when I said I don't trust him.. But if he wants to send me updates on where he is, and receipts if he ever pulls money from an atm.... I mean that's his decision. He's just trying anything he can that might convince me he's working on it this time.. Even though I told him that I am focusing on my own personal battles before I even want to think about making a decision about "us."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

Wow. I really only wanted to know if I would selfishly be putting innocent people's lives in danger by sending an electronic GPS device, which I couldn't switch off, onto an airplane.

Obviously there is more to consider about the ethics of "tracking" your spouse than I thought.

But it's one thing to "track" someone who you believe is currently being honest with you, and another thing when you realize they've been lying and they won't be honest unless actually caught in the act (if then.)


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