# Do I have a problem?



## helpme

I have a question. I am a beer drinker. I come home after work and after the kids go to bed and have a few beers(4-6), I dont get drunk but just relaxed. It seems to help me with the stresses of everyday life( marriage, kids, work, etc). Is this bad? Something tells me that I may have a problem(only from the perception of others) but at the same time im not hurting anyone. I dont drink and drive..EVER!!! I dont drink a lot around the kids and im not a mess all the time. So whats the big deal? What wrong with having some beers?


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## sweetpea

Has wife or family ever mentioned concern about your drinking?

Why do you think you have a problem?

I would be concerned if my husband had to drink 4-6 beers a night to relax. 

Sweetpea


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## helpme

My wife has mentioned it from time to time, but never said you have a problem. Maybe I do and cant see it for my self. I guess thats what Im tting to figure out on this site.


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## voivod

helpme said:


> Join Date: Jan 2009
> Posts: 3 Do I have a problem?
> 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> I have a question. I am a beer drinker. I come home after work and after the kids go to bed and have a few beers(4-6), I dont get drunk but just relaxed. It seems to help me with the stresses of everyday life( marriage, kids, work, etc). Is this bad? Something tells me that I may have a problem(only from the perception of others) but at the same time im not hurting anyone. I dont drink and drive..EVER!!! I dont drink a lot around the kids and im not a mess all the time. So whats the big deal? What wrong with having some beers?


when someone else thinks you have a problem, unfortunately, you have a problem...it's now affected someone else...


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## Chris H.

[merged duplicate threads]


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## pairofduces

Yes. You thought enough to question it here. 

But that isn't really the point. You should always be sober when there are kids in the house. What if something happened and you needed to help them? A fire? A disaster? They got sick? Your partying days are over. 

Time to be a parent. If you want to drink - send the kids to the grandparents and go out for the night.


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## Blanca

helpme said:


> It seems to help me with the stresses of everyday life( marriage, kids, work, etc).


Sign #1: you need it to relax. which by the way alcohol doesnt relax you, it depresses you, big difference. 



helpme said:


> Something tells me that I may have a problem(only from the perception of others)


Sign #2: its affecting others



helpme said:


> but at the same time im not hurting anyone. I dont drink and drive..EVER!!! I dont drink a lot around the kids and im not a mess all the time. So whats the big deal? What wrong with having some beers?


Sign #3: you're having to explain why you dont have a problem. i.e your defensive. and perhaps a little agitated. 

You have a problem.

Question: Could you completely stop drinking and walk away from it? If no, you have a big problem.


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## helpme

Thanks all for the advice. I will be stopping right away. I will have to find other ways to relax.


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## MarkTwain

If you are drinking every evening, I can't imagine you are having much sex. The alcohol and sex rarely go together in marriage, in the way they do on the dating scene.


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