# my boyfriend wants to have sex with me when my daughter is at home



## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

My husband died 2 years ago. I have a new boyfriend and I have a 14 yo daughtr, but it makes me feel weird when he comes home and has sex with me.my darling insists we make love at home.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I don’t like the word “insist”. If he’s making you do something you’re uncomfortable with then he doesn’t sound like a good boyfriend to me. 
In fact there’s a word for being forced to have sex when you don’t want to, it’s called rape.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

So he’s living with you full time now?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Lulia, have you talked with him about how painful it is when he twist your arm like that.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Lylia90 said:


> My husband died 2 years ago. I have a new boyfriend and I have a 14 yo daughtr, but it makes me feel weird when he comes home and has sex with me.my darling insists we make love at home.


My condolences on the death of your husband. I don't understand your Q. You say it makes you feel weird when he comes home & has sex with you. Is it his home too? If not, just say no. You are allowed to have boundaries. If one of your boundaries is no sex while your daughter is in the house stick to it. If he doesn't understand that or wont let you come to his residence, get a new BF


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> In fact there’s a word for being forced to have sex when you don’t want to, it’s called rape.


My definition of rape does not include talking a chick into the sack. If he physically forced her, against her will, to have sex, that's my definition of rape. I don't glean from Lulia's comments he's having to use force to get her motor cranked. She just seems concerned he daughter is in an earshot of mom getting her cookies with the new boyfriend.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> So he’s living with you full time now?


I didn't get the impression he's necessarily moved in bu Lylia need to clarify/.


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

I don't think he wanted it maliciously. But it feels weird to have my daughter at home and maybe even listening to me.


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> So he’s living with you full time now?


No full time


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

D0nnivain said:


> My condolences on the death of your husband. I don't understand your Q. You say it makes you feel weird when he comes home & has sex with you. Is it his home too? If not, just say no. You are allowed to have boundaries. If one of your boundaries is no sex while your daughter is in the house stick to it. If he doesn't understand that or wont let you come to his residence, get a new BF


Thank you.But I love him he is very kind


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I see well if he still has his own place then you do have a second location to use.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Put on some music to mask the sounds. My wife was always self concious about the boys hearing. My youngest is only one at home now and he either has ear buds in or headphones with his game. Start playing some nice music(bedroom jams) every day. When he is tgere it will sound like usual as mom turned on her tunes at night.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Lylia90 said:


> My husband died 2 years ago. I have a new boyfriend and I have a 14 yo daughtr, but it makes me feel weird when he comes home and has sex with me.my darling insists we make love at home.


This is a boundary for you. If he can't respect it, show him the door.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

So...just wondering, you will never have sex with your partner if your daughter is home? If she's 14, that's a long time until you are going to have sex in your house, since a lot of couples have sex in the bedroom in the evenings or mornings.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Livvie said:


> So...just wondering, you will never have sex with your partner if your daughter is home? If she's 14, that's a long time until you are going to have sex in your house, since a lot of couples have sex in the bedroom in the evenings or mornings.



Sure...I just think you gotta get cagey or creative about it....

She(daughter) can't be home 24/7 right? What about when she takes a shower? Goes out with friends? whatever...Also..depending on how mature and responsible this 14 year old is, she is getting close to the age where she can be left for periods at home....More opportunities....

I dunno...I see why the mom would get anxious over it...I also think it's a bit "different" when it's a guy that isn't her biological father....I don't know why I feel this way, but I kinda do...

Meh.. if they are still together after a few more years, the kid will likely go away to college and you wont have to worry about it as much.....At the end of the day, this subject varies for a lot of people...I had a buddy years ago that was living with parents into his late 20's and they had no qualms at all if anyone heard....Also, some women are incredibly loud during sex...I can't imagine how weird that would be if a daughter had to hear that going on...its all natural and stuff, but it does create some weirdness for some....02


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

hearing my moans is a fantasy of my boyfriend


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

That's why we make love at home


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

VladDracul said:


> My definition of rape does not include talking a chick into the sack. If he physically forced her, against her will, to have sex, that's my definition of rape. I don't glean from Lulia's comments he's having to use force to get her motor cranked. She just seems concerned he daughter is in an earshot of mom getting her cookies with the new boyfriend.


you are the only one who understands me


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You need to put your daughter first. You are putting your new boyfriend first.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> You need to put your daughter first. You are putting your new boyfriend first.


? People with teenagers have sex in their beds, even when the teenagers are home and in their own rooms in their own beds, as most teenagers aren't living on their own and live with parent(s). Millions of parents of teenagers have sex in this world, every day.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Lylia90 said:


> But it feels weird to have my daughter at home and maybe even listening to me.


Just be glad its not a son and his buddies.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Lylia90 said:


> you are the only one who understands me


Thanks. I try to read between the lines. I believe understand women better than most.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> You need to put your daughter first. You are putting your new boyfriend first.


I don't think she's doing anything that harms the daughter. Its in private and the daughter likely knows the score about love and romance.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

VladDracul said:


> I don't think she's doing anything that harms the daughter. Its in private and the daughter likely knows the score about love and romance.


It does depend on the circumstances. This man is a very new boyfriend who has noisy sex with her mum when she is up and about. Why can't they have sex at his place or when the daughter is out?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

AndStilliRise said:


> This is a boundary for you. If he can't respect it, show him the door.


Never mind I misstead


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

get a music system for your bedroom, a good stout lock on the door, and fix the bed if it is squeaking. that should do it.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Lylia90 said:


> I don't think he wanted it maliciously. But it feels weird to have my daughter at home and maybe even listening to me.


Sorry for the loss of your husband. 

Your daughter is 14 and your husband passed 2 years ago. Did you and your husband have sex in your house? I would assume the answer is yes, so why are you worried now? Is it her age?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Lylia90 said:


> hearing my moans is a fantasy of my boyfriend


You’re not communicating effectively. 

Does HIM hearing you moan his fantasy or is YOUR DAUGHTER hearing you moan his fantasy? 

If he wants to hear you moan, that is normal and healthy.

If he wants your DAUGHTER to hear you moan - he is a sicko perv and potential child molester that needs to be kicked to the curb yesterday.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Lylia90 said:


> That's why we make love at home





Lylia90 said:


> I don't think he wanted it maliciously. But it feels weird to have my daughter at home and maybe even listening to me.





Lylia90 said:


> hearing my moans is a fantasy of my boyfriend


Your daughter is 14. At that age she should understand that sex is something that two adult people do that care deeply about each other.

Does she think that the two of you are just friends? Do you think she knows that the two of you are more than friends and possibly lovers?

Are you ashamed that your daughter will learn that you have a lover? She probably already knows that the two of you have sex.

You should really have a heart to heart, mother-daughter conversation with your daughter about your relationship with this man. She has lived with you her whole life, she probably understands your feelings about this new man better than you do.

Good luck.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

newthomas said:


> You will end up corrupting the mind of your daughter if you continue having sex at hom
> 
> Sent from my TECNO B1f using Tapatalk


You joined just to say something stupid like that?


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Young at Heart said:


> Your daughter is 14. At that age she should understand that sex is something that two adult people do that care deeply about each other.
> 
> Does she think that the two of you are just friends? Do you think she knows that the two of you are more than friends and possibly lovers?
> 
> ...


There is no right or wrong in this case....I agree in principle with all of what you say....

But there are a lot of people that, while they know their kids likely "know what they are doing", they don't want to know about it and vice versa...They don't want to have a "heart to heart": about this topic...nor is it really necessary, IMO.. It's not anything to do with being prudish or anything... If it feels weird, then there should be no reason to do it or try to force it.....just work around it....not that difficult...

If I were her guy, I wouldn't want the daughter to know or hear what me and her mother were doing...Let her believe whatever she wants, but I don't want her to hear it or maybe even inadvertently walk in on it....😬


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> If he wants your DAUGHTER to hear you moan - he is a sicko perv and potential child molester that needs to be kicked to the curb yesterday.


This is what I was wondering.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> You’re not communicating effectively.
> If he wants your DAUGHTER to hear you moan - he is a sicko perv and potential child molester that needs to be kicked to the curb yesterday.


I believe she meant her BF enjoys hearing her moan. Lylia clear this up for the folks. Relatively innocent comments made on this site can go south in a heartbeat.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Livvie said:


> ? People with teenagers have sex in their beds, even when the teenagers are home and in their own rooms in their own beds, as most teenagers aren't living on their own and live with parent(s). Millions of parents of teenagers have sex in this world, every day.


This situation is a bit different though...this man isn't the girls father, and her father only died two years ago. Mum might be ready to move on but the daughter likely isn't and it would be very confronting to hear that at 14.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

VladDracul said:


> I believe she meant her BF enjoys hearing her moan. Lylia clear this up for the folks. Relatively innocent comments made on this site can go south in a heartbeat.


Yes this needs to be clarified ASAP so we aren't assuming one way or another as the two scenarios are two completely different galaxies apart. 

If he is wanting the daughter to hear, that is intentionally and with forethought sexualizing a 14 year old girl.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

frusdil said:


> This situation is a bit different though...this man isn't the girls father, and her father only died two years ago. Mum might be ready to move on but the daughter likely isn't and it would be very confronting to hear that at 14.


The OP thinks 2 years is a suitable grieving time before becoming involved with someone. 

It's possible to have quiet sex with a partner.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Livvie said:


> The OP thinks 2 years is a suitable grieving time before becoming involved with someone.
> 
> It's possible to have quiet sex with a partner.


This is true. One time my wife and I stayed at grandma’s house. I tried initiating and she was like SHHHHHHHH GRANDMA!!! I was like well you don’t get to be as old as Grandma without learning about the birds and the bees let’s get freaky!!!

Sorry grandma! RIP


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## NTA (Mar 28, 2021)

I hope you have an en suite bathroom. Or watch the film Kramer vs Kramer as to what might happen when you don't.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Livvie said:


> The OP thinks 2 years is a suitable grieving time before becoming involved with someone.
> 
> It's possible to have quiet sex with a partner.


I know, as I said, she may be ready to move on but that doesn't mean her daughter is.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Lylia90 said:


> I don't think he wanted it maliciously. But it feels weird to have my daughter at home and maybe even listening to me.


If you want to have sex with him, then have sex with him -- but put on some music or the TV kind of loud and lock your bedroom door so the daughter can't just walk in on you. If you don't want to have sex with him, get rid of the boyfriend. And I think you can keep from shrieking if you set your mind to it. If he insists on bellowing like a moose during sex, you might want a new bf anyway.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Livvie said:


> The OP thinks 2 years is a suitable grieving time before becoming involved with someone.
> 
> It's possible to have quiet sex with a partner.


Yes. Big difference in my wife depending on if kid is home. She feels stifled because she cant get as vocal as she wants when he is home.


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

frusdil said:


> I know, as I said, she may be ready to move on but that doesn't mean her daughter is.


It's unlikely a 12 year old will retain any solid memories of her dead dad by the time she reaches age 14. Memories of our pre-puberty years fade very quickly, leaving just a few glimpses to carry into adulthood.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

frusdil said:


> This situation is a bit different though...this man isn't the girls father, and her father only died two years ago. Mum might be ready to move on but the daughter likely isn't and it would be very confronting to hear that at 14.


If they're sleeping together the 14 y.o. has figured out Mom has a bf. And that's ok, kids do not tell their parents when they're allowed to move on. Mom is entitled to a sex life, just as if she was still sleeping w/ the kid's dad, and should try not to expose the kid to details of it, also the same as w/ dad.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

So this is weird. I her bedroom right next to yours or something? If not you can't do it quietly? I don't get it. I mean he shouldn't insist, but in the same respect your adults your daughter probably assumes you are having sex.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

I’m not sure I understand the problem. 

Nothing wrong with having sex when your daughter is home, just put on some background music/noise and be relatively quiet about it.
Tell your boyfriend you’ll be as loud as he wants when your daughter is out, but when she’s home you both need to keep it quiet.


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Sorry for the loss of your husband.
> 
> Your daughter is 14 and your husband passed 2 years ago. Did you and your husband have sex in your house? I would assume the answer is yes, so why are you worried now? Is it her age?


My daughter is grown now and my new husband is making me make more noise


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

İts true


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

i don't know what he want


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> It's unlikely a 12 year old will retain any solid memories of her dead dad by the time she reaches age 14. Memories of our pre-puberty years fade very quickly, leaving just a few glimpses to carry into adulthood.


That's not true. As old as I am I can still remember much of my childhood back as young as before I even started school. 

My father died when my three youngest siblings were ages 6, 7 and 9. They remember a LOT of detail about our father. They also remember things we did in the years prior to when he died.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Careful here. There’s a category of non-contact sexual abuse, and also grooming. (Exposure to/normalising sexual activity). 

If he’s insisting on specifically wanting the daughter to be home, and for the daughter to hear, then you have a problem. You trust your gut here, you will know what the game is. 

Yes, most teens know in some way that 
their parents have sex (to have a baby lol) That’s healthy. 

Yes, most couples are mortified about their kids knowing about this, hearing them, walking in on them. That’s heathy. 

You will know what is behind your boyfriend’s insistence. Your gut is already telling you somethings not right, so do right by your 14 year old daughter. 

Some strange people like children/teens to slowly hear, accidentally see… but it’s not quite sexual abuse is it? You know if this is completely out of the question and if I’ve gone too far in saying it. 

If he’s showing some discomfort and wanting sex elsewhere, then ok. But pay attention to if he’s wanting it a lot when she’s around.


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

Luckylucky said:


> If he’s showing some discomfort and wanting sex elsewhere, then ok. But pay attention to if he’s wanting it a lot when she’s around.


Presumably if he's living with the OP, and it's night the daughter will always be around.
If I were the guy, I'd already be gone.

I agree with the other posters, move to a bigger house, play music, have the TV on, or just do it quietly if you're that concerned.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

your child is 14 and you don't say if she and you have talked about this new man in both your life 
kids know a lot more than we think they know ,

it is your life your child and know best 
how does she feel about this man , how is she getting on with the death of her father ,


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

While I'm sure the girl knows that her mother and the boyfriend are having sex, that's very different from hearing it in all its glory.

Also while the daughter of course doesn't get to tell her mother when to move on, her mother does need to consider her daughters feelings. She's only 14 and her dad died for god sake. Have some respect and compassion.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Ah ok, I didn’t realise they’re living together. So is the sex expected at times when she’s awake or around?


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> That's not true. As old as I am I can still remember much of my childhood back as young as before I even started school.
> 
> My father died when my three youngest siblings were ages 6, 7 and 9. They remember a LOT of detail about our father. They also remember things we did in the years prior to when he died.


You may be right, I've been drinking to forget, and managed to lose most of the years before age 50.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Lylia90 said:


> My daughter is grown now and my new husband is making me make more noise


Well, this is confusing.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> Well, this is confusing.


Translated from German, I think she means: her daughter is 14. Lylia is having sex with her new boyfriend and her new boyfriend is very good in bed so she makes a lot more noise (or her boyfriend wants her to moan a lot). Lylia doesn't want her daughter to hear them having sex, so she doesn't want to have sex with him in the house. But he insists - I guess because there isn't anywhere else?


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Lylia90 said:


> hearing my moans is a fantasy of my boyfriend





Lylia90 said:


> That's why we make love at home


You need to be home for him to hear your moans? 
These two back to back posts make it seem like he wants your daughter to hear. This is disturbing if true.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> Translated from German, I think she means: her daughter is 14. Lylia is having sex with her new boyfriend and her new boyfriend is very good in bed so she makes a lot more noise (or her boyfriend wants her to moan a lot). Lylia doesn't want her daughter to hear them having sex, so she doesn't want to have sex with him in the house. But he insists - I guess because there isn't anywhere else?


It would be helpful if the translator was consistent. There is a big difference between boyfriend and husband.


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## Lylia90 (Sep 6, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> your child is 14 and you don't say if she and you have talked about this new man in both your life
> kids know a lot more than we think they know ,
> 
> it is your life your child and know best
> how does she feel about this man , how is she getting on with the death of her father ,


He very kind.he is careful when communicating with my daughter.the problem only appears in bed


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ElwoodPDowd said:


> It's unlikely a 12 year old will retain any solid memories of her dead dad by the time she reaches age 14. Memories of our pre-puberty years fade very quickly, leaving just a few glimpses to carry into adulthood.


What???? Of course she will.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Lylia90 said:


> My daughter is grown now and my new husband is making me make more noise


She isn't grown now, she is 14.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Just throwing this out there:



lindaa222 said:


> Hi I broke up with my husband 2 years ago and got married to vladmir.Everything was fine at first, but now there are strange things in our sex life.my new husband started asking me how my ex-husband f*** me while he was making love to me! he enjoys listening to it.Sometimes he wants to keep the curtain open while he's making love to me.Sorry for my grammar.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

I don't have kids but IMO there's a big difference between a teenager hearing the parents having sex & hearing 1 parent having sex with a new SO. I'm not against pre-marital sex for adults but I don't think giving permission to a young teen by having sex in the house where that teen could possibly overhear is the right answer either. 

One of my EXs had a teen son when we were together. I have a large home. When the teen came to my house, I made his father sleep in 1 of the guest rooms while the son was in the other guest room Granted my BF had shared custody but I didn't like the optics of having sex or even sleeping in the same bed when the kid was around. 

OP you & your BF have to find a path that works for you but if you have concerns about sex where your daughter could possibly here, your BF needs to respect that boundary. If he doesn't then it's not really the loving understanding guy you think he is.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

frusdil said:


> While I'm sure the girl knows that her mother and the boyfriend are having sex, that's very different from hearing it in all its glory.


Sure, and you should always try to keep people from hearing you have sex, especially minors. But that is different than "never have sex when a child is in the house".


> Also while the daughter of course doesn't get to tell her mother when to move on, her mother does need to consider her daughters feelings. She's only 14 and her dad died for god sake. Have some respect and compassion.


Hopefully there have been conversations about the daughter's grieving, and it is fine for Mom to discuss her moving on. Those are healthy adjustments. I think not having a normal sex life 2 years later goes beyond respect and compassion.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> Just throwing this out there:


For those that didn't figure out what @Blondilocks is talking about.

This post...



Lylia90 said:


> My husband died 2 years ago. I have a new boyfriend and I have a 14 yo daughtr, but it makes me feel weird when he comes home and has sex with me.my darling insists we make love at home.



And this post...


lindaa222 said:


> Hi I broke up with my husband 2 years ago and got married to vladmir.Everything was fine at first, but now there are strange things in our sex life.my new husband started asking me how my ex-husband f*** me while he was making love to me! he enjoys listening to it.Sometimes he wants to keep the curtain open while he's making love to me.Sorry for my grammar.


Are a bit too similar to not be connected. Are we being trolled or two different accounts from same person with poor English skills.


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## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

Honestly my wife and I don't have sex often when the kids are around. Mostly because I know they will hear us and we don't want to be accidentally walked in on.

Admittedly when we do have sex and the kids are around it does feel a little more risque as we might get caught, which is fine but I know if we are, it won't be pretty.


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

NJHubby47 said:


> Honestly my wife and I don't have sex often when the kids are around. Mostly because I know they will hear us and we don't want to be accidentally walked in on.
> 
> Admittedly when we do have sex and the kids are around it does feel a little more risque as we might get caught, which is fine but I know if we are, it won't be pretty.


That's why doors have locks. I don't get that comment.


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## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

CountryMike said:


> That's why doors have locks. I don't get that comment.


Not for us, our bedroom is a loft, no door.


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

NJHubby47 said:


> Not for us, our bedroom is a loft, no door.


Now I get you. That said, it's up to you to re do the arrangements and have a true bedroom. Most couples have no issues having sex even though there are children family members.


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## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

CountryMike said:


> Now I get you. That said, it's up to you to re do the arrangements and have a true bedroom. Most couples have no issues having sex even though there are children family members.


I don't mind it, my wife does, a little. But more because we'll be interrupted then anything else. 

I wish I could just add a door, but the amount of construction would be a massive redesign.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> It would be helpful if the translator was consistent. There is a big difference between boyfriend and husband.


I think she means new boyfriend. Her husband died 2 years ago.

EDIT: Banned? Troll?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> EDIT: Banned? *Troll?*


You earned a Cigarillo.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I guess it's no longer inappropriate. Can mom can hear her daughter having sex?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

In Absentia said:


> I think she means new boyfriend. Her husband died 2 years ago.
> 
> EDIT: Banned? Troll?


at least 4 accounts with slightly different stories each.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

frusdil said:


> I know, as I said, she may be ready to move on but that doesn't mean her daughter is.





hamadryad said:


> There is no right or wrong in this case....I agree in principle with all of what you say....
> 
> But there are a lot of people that, while they know their kids likely "know what they are doing", they don't want to know about it and vice versa...They don't want to have a "heart to heart": about this topic...nor is it really necessary, IMO.. It's not anything to do with being prudish or anything... If it feels weird, then there should be no reason to do it or try to force it.....just work around it....not that difficult...
> 
> If I were her guy, I wouldn't want the daughter to know or hear what me and her mother were doing...Let her believe whatever she wants, but I don't want her to hear it or maybe even inadvertently walk in on it....😬


These are two great points. But wouldn't it be "better" to seize the moment as a teaching moment? Find out if for the daughter 2 years is not long enough to grieve. It might not be long enough for the daughter to grieve, but it might lead to a good discussion so that the two of them better understand each other. I have seen friends who have had a parent dies and the surviving parent remarry. In some cases, the new blended family works. In other cases the child feels that the surviving parent has disgraced the memory of their dead parent. Surely it is good to talk about such things.

Discussing sex with a child is often uncomfortable and people want to avoid such discussions. However, it doesn't make avoiding talking about it wrong. Far too often people want sex education taught in schools because they don't want to be part of an uncomfortable discussion with their children. Part of being a parent is doing uncomfortable things to prepare you child for life. Having uncomfortable discussions about "right and wrong," morality, taking responsibility for one's actions can all be difficult conversations, but still important one.

Again, everyone gets to make their own choices in life.

Sorry, I didn't realize that the OP was banned. I have responded to two of her posts.


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

I see that you have posted this same question on another forum, except that forum is more kink related than this marriage one.

Their experience did suggest caution with regards to your daughter, and your new boyfriend.

Is it that you are concerned about the sounds of sex, and being heard, more than the actual act of sex?
Because I think many parents would also be wary of making any noise, I know I was. I can also recall friends being disgusted by hearing their parents having sex. 
Maybe in an ideal world, they wouldn't be grossed out by it, but in the real world they are.

Why is your boyfriend OK with your daughter being able to hear you moaning? 
What does he say about that, about her maybe hearing you or him?
There are other places away from home, where you can let yourself go, or whilst your daughter isn't at home.

Sex happens, and during passion you can sometimes be louder at home than you intended, but most people try not to if their kids are home. 
My husband gently sushes me with a grin, so that the kids don't hear, and certainly wouldn't encourage me to make noise if they are home.
If they, or we are out, then it's totally different.

You know your daughter best and are obviously concerned about this. So go with your instincts.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> You earned a Cigarillo.


thanks, but I don't smoke anymore... 🙂


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> at least 4 accounts with slightly different stories each.





EleGirl said:


> at least 4 accounts with slightly different stories each.


doh.... 🙃


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