# Scared of menopause



## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I'm not able to take any hormones at all. Medical issues. I'm just starting to notice a change in my periods, I'm in my mid forties. Anybody know any safe supplements or basic nutrition tweeks that could help? I'm having horrible trouble sleeping....I'm so scared that my vagina will dry up and sex is going to be a catastrophe...


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Giro flee said:


> I'm not able to take any hormones at all. Medical issues. I'm just starting to notice a change in my periods, I'm in my mid forties. Anybody know any safe supplements or basic nutrition tweeks that could help? I'm having horrible trouble sleeping....I'm so scared that my vagina will dry up and sex is going to be a catastrophe...


W is 54 and only now starting to get erratic periods. But she did have dryness and pain and probably atrophy to a degree. She avoided PIV due to pain and surgery from delivery years earlier. Anyway I finally insisted we work on it and it took a while. 

But I'll say be kind to yourself and don't let the stress of uncertainty of this cause problems. Just relax and try several different types of lube until you find something you like.

We did all kinds of things but I think had we stopped stressing, used plenty of lube, ensured there was adequate arousal to ensure the vagina expanded properly, we could have solved the issue much sooner.

All good now and we're a bit apprehensive about approaching changes, but the TAM women and my research seems to indicate that a lot of the concerns about menopause's negative impact on your sex life are overblown and due to unrelated factors.

Good diet, exercise, lube, a "romance" novel and you will be ok. If H smokes or us overweight, those are bigger factors for ED.

But I'm a guy and don't have a V so I'll leave it to the ladies to give first hand knowledge.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Giro flee said:


> I'm so scared that my vagina will dry up and sex is going to be a catastrophe...


You might want to ask your doctor about Vagifem, it is a tiny pill that is inserted into the vagina (2x week) ... it solved all my problems. I have not had a period in 9 years and my girly bits have remained healthy and functioning as always, due to the Vagifem.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Thanks for the replies. I'm going to ask the doc about vagifem and black cohosh. Vagina is ok so far, no hot flashes either, but trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I swear to god sometimes I just hate being a girl. Periods for years, then this crap.😡💩. 

I workout a ton, caffeine gives me headaches so that's out, sensitive to alcohol so that's out, I have vitiligo so no sun for this girl. Hopefully my healthy diet and exercise routine are going to help me through this. I was never moody as a teenager or during pms so I'm hoping I won't turn into a raging crazy woman. 

I'm working myself up so I'm going to go do some yoga and meditation to destress, thanks all.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Husband here who has BTDT. You'll do fine, it's a natural thing and not necessarily a medical condition. 

But get your husband "No, It's Not Hot In Here, A Husbands Guide to Menopause" by *Dìck Roth, sooner rather than later, it really helped me. (PM, I'll send you my copy.) It's you and your body going though it but you want him by your side; says someone who was a dìck at times. Communicate, and then more.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

What's weird is my husband is actually colder than he used to be. I used to love holding on to him because he would be so warm, now he's always colder than me. I thought it was me, but I've got the thermostat right where it has always been, but Mr Giro is cold all the time. Do men get colder as they get older? We are both mid forties...


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Don't panic, attitude is everything 

49, post menopausal, maybe a small handful of mild hot flushes, no lube required, a few nights of very mild sleep issues. The very worst of it for me was itchy skin so I resorted to taking an anti histamine most days for about 12 months. I took no supplements at all.

My diet is a reasonably healthy vegetarian diet high in soy based products, linseeds, other legumes, nuts, plenty of fresh fruit and vege. I do drink my fair share of wine though.

Just don't panic, there is no need for it to be a disaster. Keep eating well and exercising. Mostly keep a positive and balanced mindset.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

I am 53 and perimenopausal....I feel I am the last of all my friends. I think the on-set for me was when I noticed my digestion changed....I was 47 or 48 then and after that everything started changing. Healthy diet with lots of greens, keep your red meats to a minimum. If you are a soda user now is a good time to cut that out along with as much refined sugar as possible....weight gain during this time when the hormones are shifting can be hard and it seems to center itself in the girdle area....watching your diet and cutting those empty carbs will help.

Read on "estrogen heaviness" in the body, I would stay away from estrogen. Docs might suggest it, not good in my opinion. If you are having trouble with hot flashes and anxiety I found progesterone cream each night on the skin does wonders!

I was more than erratic as far as my cycle, it became crazy and docs wanted to give me more hormones but for me that was not the answer. I finally went to a natural health doc and am taking Kroeger Herb Women's Gold and have loved the results.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Please bare in mind that natural supplements are still drugs but are unregulated and not subject to clinical studies and are not peer reviewed.

If I found a supplement to work in some fashion I would find out the regulated, controlled pharmaceutical version of the active ingredients to be sure I was getting what I thought I was getting.

I was reading an article (sorry can't cite it) that showed that many / most popular herbal supplements tested as weeds or some such thing. I believe they tested the major US outlets brands (like Walmart). Consider that an "internet fact" AKA hearsay, but do look into "real medicine".

People with my blood cancer have heard of all sorts of miracle cures and home remedies. One of the most well known doctors specializing in my cancer (RIP) said something to the effect "all pharmaceuticals were once alternative therapies, except they proved to be effective through clinical trials. Those that remain alternative therapies are simply unproven." Food for thought.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

OP, I started menopause in 2004, age 46. Periods gone within a year. Hot flashes started, that's how I knew. I asked doctor how long I'd get them, she said oh, probably ten years. I was like WHAT?! She was right, 12 years later, I still start sweating any time my skin touches someone else's OR my own and get hot flashes from time to time. 

I couldn't take hormones either, so I just grin and bear it. 

But...down there...no difference whatsoever. Maybe need a little lubrication from time to time, but it didn't really change 'me' - and I never had any other issues other than the sweating. 

So don't get too stressed, you may not have that much change.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Menopause is NOT something to be feared!! It's something to be celebrated!

I am really sad about the way society portrays menopausal women. Husbands needing tinfoil hats. Vaginas shriveling up and blowing away. Hot flashes powering the grid. It really is shameful. Because those of us who have made it this far should be put on pedestals and worshiped!! OK maybe not THAT far, but seriously, we're wise women whose bodies are going through a completely natural process. It isn't something horrible at all.

I love not having periods. I love having a grandchild. I love using coconut oil when we have sex. I love sex, and I love my husband (even when he gets that deer in the headlight look because I said something he wasn't expecting about my body) Of course there are things I don't love, but they're easy to deal with - they're not cataclysmic. I'm liberated - I sleep buck naked because of hot flashes, and I love it. If I don't want to wear a bra I don't, and if you care that my boobs aren't 16 year old perky then that's YOUR problem. If I'm thicker around the middle than I used to be, well, that's life - as long as I'm healthy and active and feel good, a bit of extra padding that doesn't want to go away isn't anything I'm going to sweat about.

My advice is to RELAX. Deal with things if and when they come up, and don't anticipate a bunch of problems. ENJOY life free of the whole menstrual thing!


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

I read somewhere??? That soy mimics estrogen in the body, and that in Asia, women use some fermented soy products to combat symptoms like hot flashes. Anyone here know anything about that?

Personally I can't wait to be done with periods!


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

wild jade said:


> I read somewhere??? That soy mimics estrogen in the body, and that in Asia, women use some fermented soy products to combat symptoms like hot flashes. Anyone here know anything about that?
> 
> Personally I can't wait to be done with periods!


Yes, and if you are one of those women who cannot take hormones, breast cancer runs in the family or do not want to have the extra estrogen in your body then I would not take in soy. I do not take in soy but I do use progesterone cream. Read on progesterone, good benefits and it does help with hot flashes.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

wild jade said:


> I read somewhere??? That soy mimics estrogen in the body, and that in Asia, women use some fermented soy products to combat symptoms like hot flashes. Anyone here know anything about that?
> 
> Personally I can't wait to be done with periods!


Being a veggo and having consumed soy/tofu etc for *decades *I believe this to have merit. Not so sure it would be much help to women that have not eaten soy throughout their adult lives.

Hot flushes were not something I had to deal with in peri or menopause. The whole process was no more than 2 years for me.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> Being a veggo and having consumed soy/tofu etc for *decades *I believe this to have merit. Not so sure it would be much help to women that have not eaten soy throughout their adult lives.
> 
> Hot flushes were not something I had to deal with in peri or menopause. The whole process was no more than 2 years for me.


Nice! Apparently Asian women have much less difficulty with menopause symptoms in general because of soy. But they also make a particular product, some kind of fermented soy drink that is supposed to be awesome for symptoms. I don't suppose you know anything about it? I've been trying to research it, but I don't know what it's called or where to look. 

So far, I still have regular periods, but I want to know what options are out there because I know it's coming. I've had a couple of hot flashes and they are not fun!


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

wild jade said:


> Nice! Apparently Asian women have much less difficulty with menopause symptoms in general because of soy. But they also make a particular product, some kind of fermented soy drink that is supposed to be awesome for symptoms. I don't suppose you know anything about it? I've been trying to research it, but I don't know what it's called or where to look.
> 
> So far, I still have regular periods, but I want to know what options are out there because I know it's coming. I've had a couple of hot flashes and they are not fun!


Sorry no I don't know what that specific drink is unless you mean Miso??

But again I do wonder whether it is too late to start with soy now, would be worth researching though. Other foods such as linseeds are apparently good too. I'm just lucky that my diet has been high in linseeds from about my early 20's.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

FERMENTED soy is a whole different thing than just SOY. The processed crap they put in everything from cereal to chocolate bars to soy milk is CRAP and is NOT good for anyone. FERMENTED soy, like real miso, is a very different product and is very good for you.

Soy Bad, Soy Good: The Pluses of Fermented Soy 8/4/04


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Organic or not makes no difference to whether it's fermented. And yes I believe fermented soy milk is available. But really, why do you want to drink soy milk at all - it is SO processed. Making something that highly processed from a fermented variation might make it slightly less bad is all.

I am a HUGE believer in traditional foods, so if I was determined to drink some kind of soy beverage I would either make it myself or search everywhere to find someone who makes it the way I would.

By the way, I drink raw cows milk.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

And I drink kefir and kombucha too  I have made both. They really are really good for you. There are two kinds of kefir - water kefir and milk kefir.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

I make my own Kefir with a mix from the health food shop and like yoghurt you can use some of the batch to then make the next batch.
Milk is only organic soy but mostly I drink almond/coconut milk, the flavour is great.

We have organic miso, tofu and tempeh. I put Miso in other meals though not just as a soup, it is a great flavour base.


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