# My Husband cheated with his child's mother....should I leave?



## Searchingforpeace (May 24, 2013)

I have been married to my husband for 6 years, separated for 8 months and have filed for divorce. Out of our entire marriage he has work 30% of the time so I have carried most of the load. He has an 8 year old daughter and 2 years ago cheated on me with her mother and she became pregnant. I have been shown a test from her saying the child is his and one from him saying the child is not his. He said it was only that 1 time during our marriage and a few times while we were dating. Her story is that is has been constant. Because of his lack of work I have had to bail him out of jail twice because he couldn't pay child support. Recently my tax refund was taken and given to her to pay his back child support and he has had my bank account garnished by creditors. On top of everything he is a pathological liar. He says he only lies when he is caught in a situation. To try to even out things he is a great father to our son and says that he is really sorry and really wants to make things work and I want to believe him. I have sacrificed so much for this man and really loved him in spite of everything but I think I deserve someone who will sacrifice for me and love me the same. It is evident that I should leave but I don't hate him. He has a way of making people feel sorry and bad for him because he is a quiet person. I question everything he says and will never know if he or his child's mother is telling the truth. Should I continue with my divorce??? Please help


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Think about your future with him for a minute, but be realistic, no wishing, based the thoughts on your life with him, what do you see in six months? A year? Five years? Ten years? 

What reasons do you have to stay with him?


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

It sounds like you've answered your own questions, but are looking for a validation. Divorce is a messy, emotionally draining, financial sucking experience. By the sounds of it, its a lateral move for you. If he's a great father, he will still be a great father, don't let that play into your thoughts. Do what YOU think is right for YOU!

IF you cant trust him, he's not supportive, and you know he's lying cause he mouth is moving, those are some serious red flags that risk your own piece of mind. The choice is yours, and it sounds like you've already made it, now you just have to get comfortable with it. Good luck.


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## Searchingforpeace (May 24, 2013)

In 6 months I see myself happy to be doing family activities, excited to be turning 30 but still having to deal with his child's mother. In 1 year I see myself complacent but not extremely happy because I will not be able to trust him. I want to believe that he has changed and will not lie but I know if he is put in the situation of me leaving him again he will lie.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

He's NOT going to change, please understand that. Your refund was taken because you're filing jointly, you shouldn't have any money at all mixed up with him. Please stop being this guy's doormat and continue with the divorce. If choose to stay with him do not complain about any future behavior because you will know what he does.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I'm not an accountant but there is a form you can file to get your share of the refund, it's called the injured spouse form.


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## Searchingforpeace (May 24, 2013)

I have filed that form but of course the IRS is very slow with giving back money. Thank you though!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your husband cannot be a great father because he's a terrible example for a child. His children will learn to behave as he does. 

He has no respect for you or anyone else. He's been using you financially.

Divorce and move on. Really, why would you put up with this?


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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Yup, have to agree with EleGirl. Time to throw in the towel.


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## mtpromises (May 27, 2013)

You know you can get your tax refund back by filing an Injured Spouse form, right? Please call the IRS and have them mail it out to you. There's no reason you need to be paying his child support. This man doesn't work, but he can go around spreading his seed and you're having to pick up his tab? No.

Also stop bailing him out of jail. This man hasn't had to suffer the consequences of any of his actions since you've been around and I know that's has to be a huge burden for you.

You can never believe anything a pathological liar says. Seems to me anytime you're at work he's out impregnating the next female. Anyone who lies once they're caught is immature and childish. If he's not even working it's time to send him back home where he belongs.

Good luck and please get the Injured Spouse form because it's not too late.


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