# Wondering will he change?



## lostinlove2002 (Aug 11, 2010)

Well me and my husband have been married for two and a half years. It was good in the begining then he started to talk to his ex girlfriend and telling her he loved her and missed her. Well we seperated for awhile. We got back together mostly because of our daughter being born while we were seperated. He is in the military and has been. The children and I moved back out here where he was stationed about six months ago. Everything was going great. Then about 3 months ago he started to change. He stopped helping me around the house as much. He stopped helping me with the kids. I have also caught him lying to me and when I confront him about the lying he denies it. He is also now talking to another girl who I do not care for. They used to date and they broke up a long time before me and my hubby got together. I have talked to him about all the things that he was doing and has stopped doing and he says he will change. He does for less then a week and then back to what he was doing. This includes hygene as well. I am fed up with all of it. He is also keeping things about money from me and doesn't tell me or lies to me about it. 

He tries to make me the bad guy in everything. What should I do? I want a divorce but I don't. He has also threatened me that if I ever do leave he will make my life a "living hell" as he puts it.


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## Resonance (Aug 11, 2010)

The last line pretty much sums everything up. 

He is controlling and wants his way. He also has a backup plan so to speak, so he feels comfortable he can do what he wants. I am sure if you mention you want counseling, he will become angry and either change the subject, place blame on you, or outright refuse counseling. At that point, there is no salvaging the relationship. I feel for you and your situation, especially since you have a children, but go through the motions of counseling anyway. If he refuses, you should remove yourself from the relationship. 

You can try separation, but I feel it will only give the additional space he wants to start seeing this other woman.


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## jeffreygropp (Jun 9, 2010)

He has been cheating on you.


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