# HELP!!! Our sex life is GONE!!



## lezith (Aug 26, 2011)

I'm 29 and he is 37. We have been together since April of 2010 and married since February. I'm 21 weeks pregnant/5 months. Our sex life was on over drive since the beginning now I feel like our marriage because of no sex is doomed. We have sex maybe once every few weeks if I'm lucky. I don't know what it is all of a sudden since we are married and I'm pregnant he says he doesnt crave it, ?? Strange?? he swears he isn't cheating. I feel like it's me?? I think of divorce if it doesn't get better. He got viagra and has only taken it one time. He said that he really didn't like it. I actually felt like the erection was bigger because of it. Every blue moon when I get lucky his erection isn't what it used to be. ?? Why?? I don't understand?? This is very important to me. I'm a very sexual person. My horomones are raging!! i suggested toys and he said he has tried that in his past and didn't like it. Although when I met him he had a penis ring and lubricants?? I can go on and on about these issues that cause me to cry and feel depressed every day but I just need help. I don't know what to do???


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## insight (Aug 25, 2011)

He says he doesn't crave it any more? Is that all he has to say about his sex drive? You need to know more. What has changed for him? Does he just not crave sex, or just not with you?


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## Heartbrkn (Jun 16, 2011)

Is he under abnormal stress? having health problems? You said his erection isn't what it used to be. Maybe he is having ED issues so just avoids sex.

Some guys are afraid of sex during pregnancy. let him know it's safe for you and baby.


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## lezith (Aug 26, 2011)

insight said:


> He says he doesn't crave it any more? Is that all he has to say about his sex drive? You need to know more. What has changed for him? Does he just not crave sex, or just not with you?


How strange we just argued about our non-sex life. He says some relationships are sex driven just not ours?? He said that 1 or 2 times a month is good for him but why is he not thinking about how I feel? He claims that he doesnt get turned on when we try? What does that mean? Is he not attracted 2 me? I'm so emotional!!


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## lezith (Aug 26, 2011)

No he isn't under stress.....is it me??


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## frootloop (Dec 20, 2010)

Try Cialis, less side effects, IMO.

Cialis vs Viagra: Comparing Viagra vs Cialis vs Levitra ED drugs


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

The ED drugs don't fix your sex drive. They just fix the hardware, so you can perform if you want to. Otherwise, you're just walking around with a hardon, and no desire to do anything with it. It does make for a dandy towel rack or donut holder, though... And being able to ring a doorbell when your hands are full can be a plus...

Seriously, I'd start by encouraging him to get a physical exam to rule out any hormone issues. Exercise can also pump up testosterone levels. But if he doesn't see the problems and won't do anything to try to address, your best bet may be to push for counseling. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cross (Aug 1, 2011)

A lot of guys have issues having sex when their girl is preggo.

You need to communicate with him that he needs to be with you to help the depression of pregnancy. It sounds like there's a pretty big communication gap. Does he still compliment you and act the same as before?


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## loveiswhereiamnot (Jul 8, 2011)

I'd really try and pin down what he means. If you don't turn him on (thinking that's not the case), you should know that now. If you do (thinking that is the case), then it's some other issue that's just showing up in the sex drive war.

also get the book Intimacy & Desire. It's about the low sex drive person and high sex drive person, and every marriage/relationship has one of each, it has to, because one of you will want sex less. Great book just on understanding where our drive and desire comes from and all the issues that impact it. Best wishes on your pregnancy!


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Cross said:


> A lot of guys have issues having sex when their girl is preggo.


:iagree:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I don't find pregnate woman sexy at all. awkward sex is not so much fun.

with that said I still made love to my wife when she was pregnate. it didn't gross me out or anything but I prefer a non pregnate women for love making.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Was the marriage planned - not as an end result of your pregnancy? Was the pregnancy planned? Is he happy with the pregnancy, or does he feel trapped/overwhelmed/unnerved by it? Is he one of those men who are turned off by pregnant women?

I think there needs to be some open and honest communication between you two. Let it start with you. Sit him down and openly discuss everything that you feel and what you would desire. If he's unwilling to discuss things with you, then you will only continue to have issues in your marriage. Insist that he consider going to some kind of marital counseling with you - you two need to learn to work together.

I suspect the lack of sex is indicative of other things or attitudes that are going on in the relationship.

God Bless.


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## Rosie123 (Sep 5, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> Was the marriage planned - not as an end result of your pregnancy? Was the pregnancy planned? Is he happy with the pregnancy, or does he feel trapped/overwhelmed/unnerved by it? Is he one of those men who are turned off by pregnant women?
> 
> I think there needs to be some open and honest communication between you two. Let it start with you. Sit him down and openly discuss everything that you feel and what you would desire. If he's unwilling to discuss things with you, then you will only continue to have issues in your marriage. Insist that he consider going to some kind of marital counseling with you - you two need to learn to work together.
> 
> ...


:iagree: Talk, talk, talk! If he continues to refuse, that's wrong and you need to set an ultimatum unless you want to just accept it and live with it (yuck!).


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

You're horny. You're emotional. You're crying.

You're pregnant.

In a year, you'll be fine.

This will pass.

Don't start somethign you can't finish. I highly doubt you'll be ready for a "double night" 3 weeks after you deliver.


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## lezith (Aug 26, 2011)

Thanks guys......so I tried sitting down and talking about things but he said he will try cialis but doesnt think he needs to go see a marriage counselor. He said maybe I should go and will feel better. So I'm going go try that. BIG PROBLEM!!!! I found small stains of cum on his boxers and pants the other morning. He says he was out with a "client from work". It looked as if he had a little glitter on his face!! He said he was at a bar that I googled and could find no such place???? We actually had make up sex the next morning. wow that's a small shange. I'm freaking out!!! I feel soooo depressed!!! I almost feel like my marriage is doomed!!! Pls I need feed back!!!


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## lezith (Aug 26, 2011)

Yes we planned on getting married. Right away we both wanted to get pregnant. He is just as happy as I am about the baby..I dont think he is attracted to me since I have this big belly in the way. I'm so confused and don't know what to do!! I feel like breaking down everyday. My stomach stays in knots all day!! I've tried talking to him. He says for me to quit trying to initiate the sex and let him do it so that he will be turned on?? Idk!!!???? :'(


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## Heartbrkn (Jun 16, 2011)

lezith said:


> Thanks guys......so I tried sitting down and talking about things but he said he will try cialis but doesnt think he needs to go see a marriage counselor. He said maybe I should go and will feel better. So I'm going go try that. BIG PROBLEM!!!! I found small stains of cum on his boxers and pants the other morning. He says he was out with a "client from work". It looked as if he had a little glitter on his face!! He said he was at a bar that I googled and could find no such place???? We actually had make up sex the next morning. wow that's a small shange. I'm freaking out!!! I feel soooo depressed!!! I almost feel like my marriage is doomed!!! Pls I need feed back!!!


sounds like he went to a strip joint. He probably has issues with sex and your pregnancy. Unless... he is seeing someone else. I hope that is not it.


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