# I Give up, give up , give up!



## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

I can't complain about this enough, but I do give. Having some oral with hubby this morning, allowing him to guide me with his hands, I play this is b***** and using one finger moving it slowly behind his ba****, the other hand I'm gripping his penis and he guides me, he's enjoying himself, then I feel him getting close to the end, so I want to stop seems my oral does make him finish faster ............anyway I stop and he's inside and not long after he's done. By this time I'm wound up tight and ask him to help me finish, he curls up in bed and with no motion to fulfill me I get up and go soak in the tub. I think about a guy who would just take me, hold me, kiss me, luv me the way I would love them......and frankly if I'm having a emotional sexual fantasy about someone, I dont' care. He's carried on through the day like nothing is wrong and so have I, why??? Cuz i'm tired of not being fullfilled................ it'll be another 2 weeks before I think of seeing any action.....then I'm leaving for home for about 5 days.... maybe when I get back might get something........hahahhaha that's a joke!


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

Yes, that does seem a bit lopsided and unfair that you don't get your turn to receive and enjoy. I'd be upset too!

Next time he wants something, tell him that you enjoyed the last time but would have enjoyed it more if he'd reciprocated. Then have him take care of you first, so he doesn't just fall asleep or ignore you.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

oh man heartache i know just how you feel. something very similar happened to me just a couple weeks ago. My H rolled over and went to sleep and left me all wound up. I got so angry since its not the first time. this sort of thing has been going on, off and on, for a couple years now. last week i actually printed off divorce papers. amazingly when i did that all of a sudden he knew why i was upset and apologized. i was so ticked. And its not even that he leaves me wound up that makes me the angriest. Even in my frustration i can chalk that up to bad communication or something. Its him acting like he is oblivious to why im upset. that's what really gets me. the next day he can sit and watch basketball, or play video games, and not even care about why im upset. that really gets me heated.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

All you have to do is delay the man's ejaculation, and you can make him do anything. In general, once a man cums, he's toast! However, up until that point, he will do just about anything to make the show go on. So you have to get what you want first, and make him wait for his "little bag of sweets" at the end.

Ejaculation sets of the release of prolactin, which induces a lazy/drained feeling. No ejaculation, no prolactin. That's why I practise semen retention - I don't bother cuming at all, most of the time.

Every woman who regularly lets the sort of thing happen that you are complying about, is just training her husband to be lazy. Some men need saving from themselves!


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## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

Thank you Blanca! I might be complaining or ??? I have tried to make me first, he gets so selfish and lazy. What if I rolled over on him and left him hanging would he like it, he said no! Then why I am any different. My first husband complained I was too horney all the time, and now hubby #2 seems to have somewhat of a problem. I keep coming back to me all the time, am I doing something wrong, I want him to feel a great oral , I want him to bring him to the edge and then taper off, and back again, but it's not possible. And now as I said it'll be 2 weeks or more before I see any loving. My husband has gotten lazy over the past 6 months to a year, thrilling me is like this, taste a nipple here and there, touch below with his hands while proping his head up with his arm, forcefully kiss me, and then he looks for me to make the moves. Again I'm being selfish I guess. I don't want a divorce, I dont' know what I want other than a nite of pleasure, is that too much to ask???????? UGH!


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## donaldduck (Mar 23, 2009)

Sorry to hear of your problem Heart, mine is the opposite, although we have sex, she never lets me do it to her, and I LOVE going down, maybe we should swap, LOL......


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

heartache-
You need to tease him right back... you could soon be on top of this situation. There is no need to feel powerless.


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## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

I hate to sound terrible here, but even when he does go down it's not much fun/exciting. I can't get any pleasure from him, maybe he's not comfortable doing the tongue tango on me, I don't know!!! I don't know anymore!!! 
I tease him all I want and he gets so frustrated he just throws the old number inside and finishes, I'm so serious this is like some far fetch fairy tale, but it's the truth. I can't deal with all my frustrations, I swear when I'm at work I am wetting myself as I watch some guy walk by smile, ( friendly of course ) he looks good, his package looks even better and then I think yup I am so wet... I'm sick, sick and sick... I should go have it sewn together and then I wouldn't even think of having sex..... that might work... I could cry, who on here wanted to switch partners , just for one nite..... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ( lmao)


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

heartache said:


> who on here wanted to switch partners , just for one nite..... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ( lmao)


But this is the crux of the matter. The "right" woman could play him like a piano. That woman could be you. You're feeling powerless when you aren't.


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## wastingtime (Mar 29, 2009)

heartache said:


> Thank you Blanca! I might be complaining or ??? I have tried to make me first, he gets so selfish and lazy. What if I rolled over on him and left him hanging would he like it, he said no! Then why I am any different. My first husband complained I was too horney all the time, and now hubby #2 seems to have somewhat of a problem. I keep coming back to me all the time, am I doing something wrong, I want him to feel a great oral , I want him to bring him to the edge and then taper off, and back again, but it's not possible. And now as I said it'll be 2 weeks or more before I see any loving. My husband has gotten lazy over the past 6 months to a year, thrilling me is like this, taste a nipple here and there, touch below with his hands while proping his head up with his arm, forcefully kiss me, and then he looks for me to make the moves. Again I'm being selfish I guess. I don't want a divorce, I dont' know what I want other than a nite of pleasure, is that too much to ask???????? UGH!


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## wastingtime (Mar 29, 2009)

sorry, don't know how to use this forum yet but just wanted to say I hear where you are coming from. He gives a little touch and then it's like you are supposed to know what it means and take it from there!!! Is that lazy??? YES!!! I have the same type of husband. No spontinaity. Nothing is ever different. I feel like it's all my fault and I really don't know what I did wrong to get to this point. I guess I allowed it to continue, yes, but whenever I brought up doing something different I always heard "I won't feel comfortable doing that". Well, if you don't try how the heck would you know how you would feel. How do you get someone to move out of there "comfort zone" and try something different. Yes, it might be scary at first but if you can't trust your spouse, then who CAN you trust. 

I was married before to the notorious "Minute Man". Yes, he lasted a minute but never more. He WAS willing to try anything though. He even suggested stuff once in awhile. Maybe that's why I accepted the "quickies" as that being all there was out there. But at least once in awhile things had a spark and there was the "unexpected" to keep things interesting. Now it's like watching paint dry. But then again, when paint dries you have to touch it to know it's done. HAHA!!


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## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

Wastingtime I hear ya! You have my story in your hands. My first hubby complained I was to horney all the time, he was a smaller man in penial size it never seemed to do much in those few seconds but sometimes it did alot, but he had hands and other things, but now it's like , ????? and it's like ????? . I'm so pathetic, is there a weekend support retreat out there for sexless wifes, somewhere we can throw darts at our husband's penis's look alikes....??? I am so out of it, frustrated and lonesome, thank you Wastingtime for answering me, we are alike!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

heartache said:


> thrilling me is like this, taste a nipple here and there, touch below with his hands while proping his head up with his arm, forcefully kiss me, and then he looks for me to make the moves.


LOL yup that's my H. And for years i was frustrated out of my mind. of course he also had a porn addiction so that made things even worse. I was just like you! after a couple years Id had enough and I got rid of my sex drive. I worked out more and got into other hobbies. My sex drive is actually way less. And for a couple months is was kind of non existent. i guess for a lot of people that seems controversial to kill ones libido, but i figure i should be in control of what i want when i want it, so why not my sex drive, also. any way, it worked long enough for me to chill out and be able to look at the problem a little more clearly.


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## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

Blanca cheers girl! I am walking more doing more for me, but i can see him looking at me sideways, like who is she doing this for...LOL... ( i have so many lovers???) 
My present husband was addicted to porn after our first year of marriage I found him hiding it all over the place, when he'd make love to me it was the skanks on the porn movie wasn't me, it became such an obssession that it interfered in everything he did or we did ,, charging on credit cards books this and that, always wanting to be in sex stores, it became a bore to me and when it was destroying our lives I asked him to get help or we call it quits, he got help, and we did fine up until almost a year now or less. 
I guess I'm on the right track, walk, exercise get drunk drool over men come home and sleep it off.....that'll have to be my orgasm for the time being until things change....hahahaha guess it'll be my life from her on in...


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Wow i've never seen so many women wanting oral. If you are clean+ and shaved, your man should want to. Listen to Twain, no yodeling in the canyon? then no head!!!


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## wastingtime (Mar 29, 2009)

I love giving but I want to receive too! It's a real drag giving and giving with so little in return. I'm not giving up on this one yet though. It's to the counselor for us in about a week. He said every time he has gone to counseling in the past they have told them to live seperately for awhile. I won't do that. How can you talk to each other daily living apart??? I'm willing and ready to fight for what I married him (partly) for. Sex is part of for better or for worse. Well, I've had enough of the worse so now it's my turn to get what I have coming. 

He was great before marriage and for the first year or so. then things kind of settled. that wasn't so bad cuz I still got it at least once a week. Even before this 3 mth dry spell it was maybe 2x a month. That's no way to live!!!! I am a woman and I have NEEDS! He used to have needs too but I don't know why it's gotten so bad. He says he does love me and I think he's trying but still he makes no moves to have anything intimate. I'll be hog-tied and strung up before I give in and do all the initiating again. He needs to make the first move and do it part of the time on a regular basis. He swears he doesn't masturbate, but I know when he was between wives before he did. that's how he mastered his semen retention technique. He said it was something he had read about in either Playboy or Penthouse. As for porn, well let's just say we used to read Playboy together. I like a beautiful body whether it's male or female. I love nakedness in general. I've even visited nudist places (with the ex but still). I loved the openness and no one stares or judges what you look like. It's a way of life that people that actually live there enjoy daily. 

anyway, let's just say I will keep in touch daily to watch any further posts and I will also report after our couseling session. I'm looking forward to what he/she has to say. I don't think the counselors in this backwards part of pasture country know what's coming their way!!!!

Thanks for hearing me everyone and keep the faith. Remember . . . God wouldn't have put Eve in the garden of Eden for Adam if He didn't think they were going to be selabate, would HE?


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## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

I really am done trying. I think my husband is just taking it and loving every minute of it cuz he knows I put my needs last. Maybe it is my fault if I would have demanded more from him then maybe he'd have given more [ boy I am funny ] to me. I don't even think counselling will help. I will stay this way until some sparks him and then go from there, you all have been wonderful to me, how can I thank you all!


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

heartache said:


> I think my husband is just taking it and loving every minute of it cuz he knows I put my needs last. Maybe it is my fault if I would have demanded more from him then maybe he'd have given more [ boy I am funny ] to me.


yes, you are 100% correct. So what are you going to do about it?


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## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

I don't know what to do, it's gone so far now I don't know. I think it's emotional connection as well, and with all the stress of not being pleased I haven't come up with anything.

Other than demanding he do me first in bed, but even with that his oral isn't very pleasing I just ask him to stop and tell him it was nice and go on, meaning i please him. It isnt nice I don't feel any sparks when he does oral on me. 

Got ideas ????


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

HH-H--HH-H-H HOOKED O-OO---OO-O-OO ON F-F-FF--F-FF---F-F-F--F-F PH-PH----PH-PHO---PHONIK---PHONIKS----PHONICS WORKED 4-4--44-4-4-4-4 F-F-FFF--FF- FOR MMMYYY-MMM-MMIEE----ME.....HOOKED ON PHONICS WORKED FOR ME!....
(just trying to crack someone up)


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

seriously tho....my wife dont really like it when i go down on her even tho i like too....she is honest with me. she tells me that the toungue just dont provide enough pressure for her and she would rather me use my hand instead....fine with me...i dont care. whatever works...


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## Hardened Heart (Apr 8, 2009)

Make him do you first and then finish him off last.


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## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

*Re: I Give up, give up , give up! Giving up some more*

H-Heart,
I have made him touch me first and I get a yawn and oops and a, and a......it's like there is no desire for him to even find my spots that I like. I dont' care if he's not a boob man, when he married me these dam honkers came with the rest of me, he doesn't even dare find the time to remember what i like when he used to get them going, it's easier to yawn , maybe fart and say sorry and wait for me to get him going. It's been another week or more since we had some kind of sexual something or other. I'm leaving this wednesday to go home, I'll have to "beg" for a piece before I go and hopefully it's a good one, if not, if I sit next to a friendly man on the airline......today the way I am feeling I might have sex right out in the fricking open. 
My husband , bottom line is sexless, we exist together and whoopie "we aren't having a good time at all".


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

heartache said:


> Other than demanding he do me first in bed


You said it! Train him up until he is good at it. It's time to take something for you. He is a man, he can handle it.


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