# Any successfull reconciliation stories?



## MadAndConfused

Hi all,

I am having a very difficult time right know as I completely broke up with my H since Friday. I am now trying to concentrate on myself and how to become a better person, but a part of me says that this is not over. So, I was wondering, does any of you have any successfull reconciliation stories (either you or your friends) when there were no children in the marriage? We have been together for 12 years, married for 3.5... Thank you in advance...

Edit: He is having an EA/PA affair and that is the reason I broke up


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## myelw316

I found the two books helpful: 

Love Must Be Tough
and
The Divorce Remedy

Get your patience out. My husband has been gone since Oct. 4th. I'm hoping for home by Christmas...I just started No Contact and it's working.
If you haven't done the 180, you need to ASAP
It makes a big difference. Do that for awhile then go No Contact and wait.
Many people have worked it out. 
Most of the time frame is 6 months to a year. Seems IMPOSSIBLE to deal with that now for you, I'm sure. It could end sooner...some do....but dig in, because it is possible it will last awhile.

They also have these forums (not quite as active, but helpful) on divorcebusting.com. It's good to read reconciliation stories....also, when I asked around my friends who know, some of them knew of people who had this happen and they were helpful with details, timelines, suggestions.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

myelw316 said:


> I found the two books helpful:
> 
> Love Must Be Tough
> and
> The Divorce Remedy
> 
> Get your patience out. My husband has been gone since Oct. 4th. I'm hoping for home by Christmas...I just started No Contact and it's working.
> If you haven't done the 180, you need to ASAP
> It makes a big difference. Do that for awhile then go No Contact and wait.
> Many people have worked it out.
> Most of the time frame is 6 months to a year. Seems IMPOSSIBLE to deal with that now for you, I'm sure. It could end sooner...some do....but dig in, because it is possible it will last awhile.
> 
> They also have these forums (not quite as active, but helpful) on divorcebusting.com. It's good to read reconciliation stories....also, when I asked around my friends who know, some of them knew of people who had this happen and they were helpful with details, timelines, suggestions.


If there is an OM/OW involved it may be years if ever. The 180 is for you, not them. It's to make you strong enough to get on with your life and get rid of whatever has been holding you back. 

The last thing anyone should think of in a 180 is reconciliation, the more you appear you couldn't care less about the wayward spouse the better. Reconciliation has to come from a position of strength, your's, otherwise they have total control of the situation.


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## that_girl

There can't be any reconciliation until he lets his EA/PA go for good.


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