# Narcissism + Conspiracy Theories



## LittleFluffyClouds (Jan 14, 2015)

As some of you know my bf/fiancé of 3 years has been extra intense lately.

He often says how amazed he is with himself for "piecing it all together" and how smart he is. He says this at minimum 5x/week. He especially pulls it out during arguments. As in he is so much further along the "spiritual" path than I am.

We got in another argument last night. I often feel disrespected and talked down to. After getting off the phone with me by saying, "Bye...gotta go." And abruptly hanging up he texted something about setting intentions for the new moon. I said "lol" because I had my fill of his selfishness and disrespect for the day. This completely set him off. The texts and emails that followed were (again) rude and way off-base. Yesterday I tried to explain to him that my one desire in life is "happiness" (peace/contentment). Here are his texts: 

"Fine. Dont set ur intentions and keep applying ur nikotine happy patch. Ul never find wat ur lookin 4 -jus like all the other sheep. "

"If im rite-all of u wil b in 4 a wild and rude awakining. And yoga wont save ya"

"Ur diffikult"

"Dont ***ing laf at me. jus kuz ur with 95 percent of the rest of the sheep. It aint my fault if u havnt awoken but belev u hav."

"U hav no idea wat ur in 4. Good luk"

Then came the emails. Here is one: 

"you take pictures of food ,,,you wear yoga pants everywhere believing the world wants to see your ass.

its tacky, J. 

but I can live with these things...
but I cannot take u laughing at things that I take very seriously.
I kant help it if you choose to live in a 3d world and don't want to further ur journey.
its your choice and its not my business what you do with your ka"


Note that I wear yoga pants to YOGA and I've posted THREE pictures of creative raw food dishes I came up with over the course of 2 years.

Then I get a text this morning:

"Sorry"

Then:

"Intresting tidbit-This years supersheep bowl stadium sits rite on the 33rd paralel, in pheonix-home of the nu mason u.s. Headquarters and undrground exakt size replika of egyptian pyramid-but off limits 2 the sheep. This lokation joins the ranks of nagasaki, hiroshima, the trinity bomb test site, fort sumter and the begining of the civil war, and all the worlds pyramids such as xian, misisipi pyramids, cairo egypt, iraq temples, iran,tibet, libya, etc. It is konsiderd earths main blood/energy artery 4 mystics such as the bush family/other luciferans, and is the top choice of mass sakrifice of the sheep. I bet the sportskasters didnt tel u that.. welkom to the lucifer matrix."

"By the way-if u think i make this stuf up- research the phoenix pin. The luciferan females wear this when they give their publik speeches on ur televisions. They wil wear a red dress to invoke the power. Sarah palin, Hilary klinton, any u.s. Fed female, etc.-they all wear it 2 invoke. -Keep shopping and paying ur taxes..."

He is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I know you are all going to tell me to run for my life and I know that's the right thing to do. I'm just so confused as to my feelings toward him. Why do I still love him despite the weird things he says?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I thought you broke up with him? As far as why you still "love" him, I would seriously recommend counselling for yourself. Not because I think you're crazy or anything. But you need to understand why you're drawn into an unhealthy relationship, or you'll be at risk of repeating. 

C


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## LittleFluffyClouds (Jan 14, 2015)

I have an appointment in the city I lived in previously a little over a week from now. The scary thing for me is that prior to him my relationships were mostly great...for example, one bf was supportive, calm, intelligent, and funny...we never argued. But he was an alcoholic (sloppy drunk...not angry). I broke it off because that wasn't going to work for me long-term. Why do I now think that this conspiracy talk is going to work for me long-term??

My mom pointed out that this relationship started to go berserk after I went off my meds for ADHD. I'd been on them since I was 14. I went off them as an experiment because my fiancé said that they were holding me back spiritually. So, I'm seeing my psychiatrist back home, since she's known me for 11 years. 

I'm just appalled and baffled with myself. I cannot figure out why I stay with him.


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## outofthefog (Feb 6, 2015)

Your fiance persuaded you to go off your meds because then you would be in a weaker position than him and he could have more leverage to criticize you and control you with. The reason why you love him so much could be because you have a trauma bond with him.


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## anonfrank (Apr 18, 2013)

Why do you put up with this behavior? Why did you let him convince you to go off your own medications?

I haven't read your back story yet (or don't recall it), but the behavior your bf is exhibiting is psychosis. He appears to suffer from delusions, specifically. Does he have a p-doc? If so, is the p-doc aware of the change in behavior?

As far as the relationship, you do need to leave, for your own sanity. You're not married to him yet, so you can go presumably without legal repercussions. The fact that you let him convince you to go off medications indicates that you need to take care of yourself first before you can consider caring for someone else, let alone someone else with untreated psychosis.

I agree with the recommendation that you find therapy for yourself to understand the reasons you are drawn to this person, so you avoid this in the future.

Good luck!


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## LittleFluffyClouds (Jan 14, 2015)

anonfrank said:


> Why do you put up with this behavior? Why did you let him convince you to go off your own medications?
> 
> I haven't read your back story yet (or don't recall it), but the behavior your bf is exhibiting is psychosis. He appears to suffer from delusions, specifically. Does he have a p-doc? If so, is the p-doc aware of the change in behavior?
> 
> ...


Thank you. <3!!

He would never see a psychiatrist. I finally told him I was going back on my meds for ADHD. He was actually amazingly supportive. I started yesterday. Slowed me down x 10 and definitely has changed something in me. The stimulants help me most to stay in the present moment and focus. Today at school (Im a teacher) I felt 100% present and during the day...so much less anxiety. We'll see how it goes on the meds. I forgot how much they kill my appetite (so annoying because I love cooking) and how much H20 I have to drink. Been making myself eat and engage in relaxing activities.

As for him... It's so hard. So hard. He can be so wonderful and fun, but it's a 50/50. I've never met anyone that it's a "with or without you" as with him. It is so agonizing thinking of his good side not being in my life. That's what keeps me from breaking it off.


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