# Sexting/photos



## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

I am admittandly not in the dating loop, but a girlfriend of mine is dating and has asked my advice. 

The guy she has her eyes on is very wealthy. He has offered to fly her to his home (out of state). She has declined so far, but he demands that she send him pictures in lingerie. She has sent a couple (headless) but now she called me tonight and said that he's pestering her for more. 

Is this what the dating world is like now? Should she do this? He says he's religious like she is... But he texts sensual things all the time. I just feel bad discouraging her, but this sounds bad to me. Am I just niave?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mommyofthree (Jan 7, 2012)

My husband and I have taken photos and video but we do it together. I would not feel comfortable sending them via text or computer to someone.Would not want them out in cyber space somewhere.

How long have they been dating? I would say no since you lose control over where they will end up.


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

They are just friends but he is still making moves on her. They've never met in person more than just a brief intro 5 years ago. 




mommyofthree said:


> My husband and I have taken photos and video but we do it together. I would not feel comfortable sending them via text or computer to someone.Would not want them out in cyber space somewhere.
> 
> How long have they been dating? I would say no since you lose control over where they will end up.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

extremely bad idea! with such little info and contact about this person, for all she knows... he might even be a married man. even if he was a "trusted" contact/bf it is quite possible that the photos could be accidentally leaked over the internet.

:nono: :nono:


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

He's bad news. Sexting is fun when you are in a committed relationship with someone you trust, but with someone you barely know? And he's pressuring her? She needs to run far and run fast.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

You don't sext or send sexy photos to "just friends".... ever.


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

I would agree. She is just vulnerable. The good news (in my opinion) is that he asked her to take a pic of her backside. She said no and he hasn't tested her in 2 days now. Clearly something is wrong!




SunnyT said:


> You don't sext or send sexy photos to "just friends".... ever.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

questionme2 said:


> I would agree. She is just vulnerable. The good news (in my opinion) is that he asked her to take a pic of her backside. She said no and he hasn't tested her in 2 days now. Clearly something is wrong!
> 
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This guy looks like a weirdo to me :crazy:


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

If that's the way the dating world works... I'm scared for her. 

Also she spent 300 bucks to fly out and meet him. But he got caught on business on the opposite side of the country and canceled on her. He offered to fly her to him. A 7 hr flight! She declined and thanked him. But he got mad at her because he said "he wasn't important to her" if she canceled. 





eowyn said:


> This guy looks like a weirdo to me :crazy:


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

questionme2 said:


> If that's the way the dating world works... I'm scared for her.
> 
> Also she spent 300 bucks to fly out and meet him. But he got caught on business on the opposite side of the country and canceled on her. He offered to fly her to him. A 7 hr flight! She declined and thanked him. But he got mad at her because he said "he wasn't important to her" if she canceled.
> 
> ...


I am not sure how the dating world works since I got married via arranged marriage. Probably others will provide some inputs on this.. However I sure do hope that is not how it works


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

questionme2 said:


> If that's the way the dating world works... I'm scared for her.
> 
> Also she spent 300 bucks to fly out and meet him. But he got caught on business on the opposite side of the country and canceled on her. He offered to fly her to him. A 7 hr flight! She declined and thanked him. But he got mad at her because he said "he wasn't important to her" if she canceled.
> 
> ...


If he is so wealthy, what is she doing paying for the flight? And he expects her to pay even more for the privilege of chasing him?


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## questionme2 (Dec 23, 2008)

He offered to pay for that secondary ticket but he poured when she said she couldn't take a day off work. 

I just feel bad that she's so disappointed that he hasn't texted her back.. Since she said that she wasn't ready to text a picture if her behind. She already sent a pic in her boobs! I know her head wasnt in the photo.. But that's sketchy in my opinion. 



NextTimeAround said:


> If he is so wealthy, what is she doing paying for the flight? And he expects her to pay even more for the privilege of chasing him?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> You don't sext or send sexy photos to "just friends".... ever.


Oh thank GOD! I tried telling that to my DH but he doesn't get it. So, I sent a few pics of myself to him. Nothing showing, but you could tell what type they were. He was kinda "meh" about them. So I asked him "Does that mean I can send them to my male friends?"... His response? "HELL NO!" I think he may have finally "got" it.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

questionme2 said:


> He offered to pay for that secondary ticket but he poured when she said she couldn't take a day off work.
> 
> I just feel bad that she's so disappointed that he hasn't texted her back.. Since she said that she wasn't ready to text a picture if her behind. She already sent a pic in her boobs! I know her head wasnt in the photo.. But that's sketchy in my opinion.
> 
> ...


This guy looks like a serious weirdo! Pictures of behind???? Really?? :moon:
Ask her to stay away. Why is she sending him all the other pics? She could land in trouble. This guy doesn't sound trustworthy for some reason.


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## gav (Nov 13, 2011)

I don't understand why people send pictures to folks they hardly know ... seems like you're just asking to have them passed around or posted to the Internet somewhere.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Yeah right! Mr. Christian, I love Jesus pesters woman for illicit photos. Can you see that on a t-shirt? 

WWJD

What Would Jesus Do - - - for nudie pics on his phone.

If she feel pressured, then she should not do it. If he gets angry, then she dumps him. 

It seems the people who are the most bold with sexting are the ones who cannot talk to a woman face to face. They only get bold in type. Like typing sexual crap is okay and saying it to the woman's face would be unacceptable. IT IS UNACCEPTABLE EITHER WAY, CASSANOVA!!!!

Wow, how romantic he is. What a catch.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Lots of defensive comments here. Personally, if these are two consenting adults not in committed relationships, and are getting some enjoyment from each other, then I don't see a problem.

Obviously if they have not taken any time to build any trust there is some risk in sending personal information. But they are both adults free to make that decision. And yes, men love seeing women's @sses or even just pictures of said @sses.

If he is in fact some predator (more so then all other men in general) if she is being irresponsible and putting in trust and he sends those pics all over the internet, well she will learn the hard way but I guess the libertarian in me simply accepts that is how we learn sometimes.

And if he "lures" her to him and has the means to, what is wrong with pursuing some excitement and passion in life? Is it a risk, perhaps but we all manage risks all the time - hopefully this lady is intelligent enough to not fall for a foolish trap, but life is short and I say live it!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

questionme2 said:


> I am admittandly not in the dating loop, but a girlfriend of mine is dating and has asked my advice.
> 
> The guy she has her eyes on is very wealthy. He has offered to fly her to his home (out of state). *She has declined so far, but he demands that she send him pictures in lingerie.* She has sent a couple (headless) but now she called me tonight and said that *he's pestering her for more. *
> 
> *Is this what the dating world is like now?*


It is if you accept it. In her case, she's accepted it and is playing along with him. If she had standards against this, she wouldn't have complied. But because she has agreed to his "pestering" and "demands" of sexy pics in lingerie, then she is complicit. He sounds like a creep. And she doesn't sound like she respects herself a whole lot. 




questionme2 said:


> Should she do this?


She already has. She chose to.

He says he's religious like she is... But he texts sensual things all the time. I just feel bad discouraging her, but this sounds bad to me. Am I just niave?
_Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE]


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Lon said:


> Lots of defensive comments here. Personally, if these are two consenting adults not in committed relationships, and are getting some enjoyment from each other, then I don't see a problem.
> 
> Obviously if they have not taken any time to build any trust there is some risk in sending personal information. But they are both adults free to make that decision. And yes, men love seeing women's @sses or even just pictures of said @sses.
> 
> ...


I agree with you in principle. But I also think this discussion is good. There are so many shades of gray these days and people easily become confused as to what type of relationship that they have and what is acceptable for that level of relationship with this person. 

For example, I think it's a great crystallisation to say that you don't send naked photos to "just a friend." Maybe to an FB or FWB or to someone you're trying to date.

But your post is interesting. Being a teenager in the 70s and beyond, my parents chided me often not to "lead" guys on. That is, to accept their generosity while I was still making a decision to date them. 

Sadly, I did encounter one full on bunny boiler. And another guy showed suggested behavior that he might be one as well. So some men -- like some women -- aren't as self responsible as we would like for everyone to be.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Lon said:


> And yes, men love seeing women's @sses or even just pictures of said @sses.


I could NOT pass up the opportunity to laugh at sexy pic advice from someone who has Quagmire for an avatar! Giggidy! :rofl:


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> I could NOT pass up the opportunity to laugh at sexy pic advice from someone who has Quagmire for an avatar! Giggidy! :rofl:


Quagmire is August on my Family Guy calendar - I'll be thinking about Lon for the whole month heh heh

and personally I don't see an issue with sending pictures as long as a) it's YOUR choice to send them and b) you keep your face/tattoos/birthmarks, etc. out so that they aren't identifiable if they do *get out there*


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Maybe he should fly to her.


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## The Lurker (May 11, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> His response? "HELL NO!" I think he may have finally "got" it.


LOL good for you.


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## The Lurker (May 11, 2012)

I would have to say this has NOT been my experience in the dating world, he sounds like a real creep...


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