# Working through the end.



## Kevin2108 (Nov 15, 2013)

I have been married for over 22 years. Unfortunately the last few have been very hard. I have had many misdiagnosed health problems that culminated earlier this year with a Macroadenoma (golf ball tumor of pituitary gland) inside my head. Over the years it shut down my thyroid, adrenal systems, testosterone. Anyways it shut me down as a husband and drove us apart. I had surgery 6 weeks ago to remove it and am getting stronger and better every day. Yesterday the talk came that she is no longer in love with me and there was no emotional, physical connection anymore. I blame myself and this tumor for what it has done to us. I knew things were not going well as I was in a depression for half of this year. I had thought everything would get better once I was healed. So much for the dream. I am working through this emotionally. If anyone else is in the same boat and wants someone to just chat with, let me know. Thanks for listening.


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## Kevin2108 (Nov 15, 2013)

I forgot to mention there is no other person involved. She just wants to be alone. I am going to follow the 180 as hard as it is. That is an outstanding list and tells me I was going to do most of the wrong things. Thanks for it.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Kevin,

Best wishes on your recovery. I would like to suggest that you take the "180" approach from Michelle Weiner-Davis' book.

The strategy is focused on you working on yourself to become a better person and encourages no contact with the walk away spouse (WAS). 

Working on yourself includes your physical health and appearance, your mental and emotional health, your spiritual health and your social health.

In many cases, including my own, the WAS reflects on what is being lost and may have a change of heart based on YOU becoming a better person.

Ultimately, the 180 prepares you for your future life either alone or in reconcilliation (R).

If people jump onto your thread here, they will provide awesome support, biting but sincere criticism and always honest caring thoughts to help you heal.

Be strong,
Stretch


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## Kevin2108 (Nov 15, 2013)

Thanks stretch. I think the biggest issue will be living together while selling off all assets during the next few months. That will be hard and goes against the 180 but we both need to pay the mortgage. We talked yesterday and set the plan at 3 months to get everything sold. Until then we will go about our own lives. I cannot figure another way around it.


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