# Need Help



## wantinghim4ever (Sep 22, 2011)

I am totally 100% in love with my husband. For the most part, we have a great relationship. However, there is one particular area that is killing us. While we were dating, and just had moved in together, he found out about my some of my past relationships. I had left myself signed in on my facebook and he read through my messages and sent messages. At first, I did not tell him the truth about my past, because it was my past and I was ashamed of it. Not that what I had done was terribly bad (which I finally realized wasn't). But for a while, even now, he feels I'm not telling the truth and going out while he's on the road for work. At the very beginning of our relationship, I still flirted around,talked to exes and did a few things I'm not proud of. But, since the blow up, I've changed my ways. All my past relationships have been horrible. My ex husband left me for his ex high school sweetheart, so trust for me in the beginning was an issue. But, I got to know him. I was just afraid to tell him everything about my past. I told him bits and pieces in the beginning to get it off my chest, but left a lot of detail out of it. I just don't know what to do or how to handle this anymore. It causes fights. He feels that he can't get over it until I fess up and tell the truth. The truth is....I have.


----------



## wantinghim4ever (Sep 22, 2011)

Any advice would be great.....


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

If you have told him the truth and he still does not believe you, there is not much you can do.

Drill i tin hs head that you have told him everything. How long have you been married? Tell him it's having an adverse effect on your relationship and that you have told him everything thus far. Ask him what you can do to restore his trust. Him bringing up the same thing over and over is NOT going to help things. A relationship like this sounds maddening.


----------



## amanda s. (Sep 24, 2011)

you know, i go through the same stuff except i was honest & now it gets thrown in my face when we argue... in your case, you did hide stuff in the beginning but has he been totally honest about his past with you? sometimes it's better left unknown. i know entirely too much about my fiance's past (i was his friend before dating) & it kills me to think about it now, ew. 

but now that you have been honest he needs to have some faith believe you. trust is the hardest thing to earn & you being honest was the first step. he must now grow up & walk the road with you... i don't know much advice to give except try & be understanding. ask him how he'd like you to prove that you are being honest... but there's nothing more you can do if you are telling the truth.. good luckkk


----------



## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

And until he believes you and makes peace with things, he will continue to throw it in your face. Is that how you want the rest of your marriage to be? To feel like you can't do or say anything without that being brought up? 

All you can do is try to convince him the best you can that you told the truth and you are not doing anything. However, IMO you shouldn't spend the rest of your life doing that either. If he doesn't believe you, and you don't want to have to explain things to him for the rest of your life, and don't want this thrown back up all the time, then you will eventually need to make a decision.


----------

