# Finally ready to D. What are the steps I should take?



## Birdie99 (May 31, 2012)

I joined this site about a year ago. I was seeking advice on how to catch my H cheating. Well, I never caught him, or ever really tried too hard I suppose. There were much bigger problems going on. His verbal and emotional abuse, mainly. I started counseling last July, and it has helped me SO much. I asked him to come with me. He refused.

Late last year, there was a health scare with someone close to him. This changed my H in many ways. He became more patient. Less verbally abusive. This did not last long. He was right back to the name-calling, threatening, in no time... and with a vengeance. The last time I tried to talk to him about D was about 2 years ago. He broke down, saying he'd change, etc... well, I'm completely done with this marriage, checked out physically and emotionally... we haven't been even remotely intimate in over 9 months.

Through the counseling, I feel more independent, stronger, and I am finally emotionally ready to leave him. I just need some advice on what my steps should be? Especially dealing with someone with anger management issues. I can find legal-type advice from a lawyer, but I think I'm really asking you all for the best way to approach this with him, initially, before all the legal stuff. OR... is my best bet to see a lawyer first and serve him?

Any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks all.


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