# I found his old love letters



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

I was searching for some old school records, and I found all the love letters he wrote to me way back when we were dating, and then engaged.

I read every one. I was in stunned shock. The words I read I haven't heard him say for many years.

When I finished reading them, I thought "How did this all go to sh!t"? Like how did we go from being SO in love, completely open and communicative, to what we are now. Apart, broken, angry, sad and divorcing.

HOW?


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

brokenbythis said:


> I was searching for some old school records, and I found all the love letters he wrote to me way back when we were dating, and then engaged.
> 
> I read every one. I was in stunned shock. The words I read I haven't heard him say for many years.
> 
> ...


Because they aren't the same people they were then. Something happened along the way & they changed into people we don't recognize anymore.


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## Juicy (Nov 15, 2011)

This is exactly how I felt the other day, my H ended things with me last week and I moved back into my parents' house. 

When I was unpacking my things and sorting out my room I found a box with all the cards and love letters my H had gvien me over the past five years. It was heart breaking reading how much he 'loves me' and that I am 'the one' and he will 'love me forever'.

After advice from great people on TAM I was told to put all those things away including my wedding photos etc. I think it defiantly helps not seeing any reminders of my H. 

But I know how you feel, it totally sucks seeing how much he was in love with me then for him to walk away and end it. 

Just keep all those reminders out of sight, it makes it just that more easier.


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## hank_rea (Mar 13, 2013)

I tossed all of that stuff right after I signed my divorce papers (which was only about 6 days after getting the "love you but not in love with you" bs speech) It didn't really help me, though. Or maybe it did. I could have been even worse off than I am now had I kept all that. Hard to imagine that....


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

brokenbythis said:


> I was searching for some old school records, and I found all the love letters he wrote to me way back when we were dating, and then engaged.
> 
> I read every one. I was in stunned shock. The words I read I haven't heard him say for many years.
> 
> ...


I asked the same question when I found those letters too. I just put it in the one box he left in the garage. I'll let him deal with it one day if he ever gets to it. 

As for how all this happened? I blame his selfishness.


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## philglossop (Apr 22, 2013)

I burnt my civil partnership photos about 3 weeks ago. Best thing I ever did. Then I threw away all cards, mementos and even clothing that had a memory of STBXH.

They have no place in my new life which is starting now. They belong to sham which is now being resolved all be it slowly.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Left With 4.5 said:


> I asked the same question when I found those letters too. I just put it in the one box he left in the garage. I'll let him deal with it one day if he ever gets to it.
> 
> As for how all this happened? I blame his selfishness.


I am pretty sure it was a slow descent into mental illness for my ex. Which means he will never get better, he will never change.


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## LostInMT (Apr 24, 2013)

brokenbythis said:


> I was searching for some old school records, and I found all the love letters he wrote to me way back when we were dating, and then engaged.
> 
> I read every one. I was in stunned shock. The words I read I haven't heard him say for many years.
> 
> ...


I know exactly how you feel.

I can't seem to throw away any of that kind of stuff. I even found a letter she wrote a few years ago about me. Part of me feels to guilty for some reason....

Never thought about it but deleted all of my text messages from my phone the other day at least. Had some from more than 6 months ago.

It's sad and strange to read all of that, even some things from just a few months ago for her to just turn on me. To feel that way towards me and then in just a short amount of time betray me and leave me for the PosOM?

I'm not sure what can cause someone to change in such a way...let alone so quickly.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

This is more proof that you can only control you and your actions.

In assessing my own part in my WAW leaving, I realized that I had stopped letting my feelings known for years.

I am in a relationship now and for as long as we are together and with anyone else in my life be it love interests or family, I will let them know everyday or as much as I have contact with them how I feel about them.

If I feel something for someone I will not let them guess about my feelings, I will share them.

I cannot control their feelings about me but my feeling will never be a secret again.

Stretch


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## HopelessArray (Jan 6, 2012)

brokenbythis said:


> I was searching for some old school records, and I found all the love letters he wrote to me way back when we were dating, and then engaged.
> 
> I read every one. I was in stunned shock. The words I read I haven't heard him say for many years.
> 
> ...


This is where I am right now. I have tons of letters he wrote me, and I wonder how it all fell apart. I haven't read them, I this is so fresh and new and unbearably painful that I can't imagine seeing words of love from this man who has decided he's done. How and why are questions that run constantly through my mind.


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