# just married and fighting about sex



## sabergirl (Aug 6, 2010)

Ok, I have only been married for exactly 3 weeks. This is both my husbands and my first marrage. We were virgins until marraige (that includes never having oral or hand jobs etc) We talked about sex some before marraige but we both knew nothing about it.
Anyway- the problem is, we're fighting because of his expectations.
For example- due to my birthcontrol- I don't get wet. We HAVE to use lube. He will use it, but he reminds me quite often how the whole idea of lube turns him off and keeps asking everyday if I can this time get wet enough.
The big fight tonight which ended up just making me want to throw something at him, is that we fought because he wants me to try different sex positions and when he suggested it to me, it actually completely turned me off.
Now don't get me wrong- when we were dating i told him that i did want to try diff possitions- but that was before I had sex. For me- sex is work. Yeah I can get to the point of orgasm- but it takes alot of work, and the idea of trying to contort my body to some odd shape makes it even seem like MORE work. I'm only now starting to enjoy basic moves- but these other positions do make me dread sex.
I tried to explain this- but he feels that I lied to him about what i wanted to try. 
So I told him that we should take turns deciding what we're doing- so he gets his positions, and then when I was missionary- i can get it. He said ok- but he's still mad at me and won't even touch me now. He did hint at me that I lied to him about wanting to do these things and then now not. Which i swear I didn't.
So what should I do? How do i get him to realize that this is all new for me too, and the B.S. we heard from others (or hollywood) on sex is really not true. Cause he is getting dissapointed and it's really getting us to argue.
I hope this makes sence, thanks


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## everythingatonce (Aug 5, 2010)

I am familiar with birth control causing problems with sex. Birth control both makes it difficult for me to be very wet and lowers my sex drive. 

Im not sure how familiarized you are with your self and how much experience you have with masterbation. I feel that masterbating frequently, learning all those tiny little spots and the different sensations possible make sex with a partner that much more incredible. 

I am also not sure about how much or what kind of foreplay you are having. You might want to try a 69 position. I feel like that can help with the female getting wet before penetration. I would recommend him lying on his back and you on top. 

I would also highly recommend that you try many different positions. Woman on top positions usually help me to be more wet. I enjoy doing more work because that means that I am making the sex really great and letting my husband relax a little. Try having sex on the couch with him sitting kind of close to the edge and you stradling him. You get great penetration, control, and can easily reach you clitoris. Different positions usually mean better and stronger orgasms for you. 

If you are still having problems getting wet, try getting yourself ready for him before you engage in sex. Use a lube and masterbate, so that you are wet and extremely ready when you first intiate. 

I hope some of this will help you. Also sex for me is better when I simply let go and give it all I've got.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

I took "Tri cyclen lo" and I never had problems with my sex drive or dryness. Maybe you can try switching to another pill?

Regarding the sex... have you tried oral sex? You can also do it before intercourse. It's very arousing and might get you wet. Ask him to use his hands, fingers and tongue to get you horny.

You can also find lots of sex advice on google..lots and lots of tips on how to please your partner. Show it to your husband too he might be interested. 

Read an erotic novel or story or watch some dirty videos to get in the mood...

Why do different positions turn you off? I think if you get hot enough you'll go for anything lol the trick is to get really really horny and it's your husband who should do that to you (or you can just masturbate before sex).

Go here Sex and Love - Sex Positions and Dating Advice - Cosmopolitan they have lots of images of sex positions with instructions. Show it to your husband and try a different one every time you have sex. Also switch to a few different positions during sex like start off with x, switch to y and end with z. Mix and match it's actually fun.

There's nothing shameful or embarrassing about trying new things. When my husband and I would try new positions and it wouldn't work we just laughed and continued with whatever we were comfortable with.


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