# Husband socializing with women coworkers



## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

My husband and I have had problems in the past with his infidelity.

I have a question to ask you ladies and also would like some feedback from the men.

My husband goes for coffee breaks with a group of married men and women to a place near the large company where he works.
It used to be only the men went, but now some ladies are joining them.

I have read a lot on infidelity and affair prevention which suggests socializing in mixed company can be a high risk environment.

I have been thinking that I should suggest that this might not be the best thing for him to be doing but have been hesitant about it because I don't want to be too controlling. He also isn't a very social person with no friends, so this is his only socialization he really ever gets in his life, and don't want to take that away from him.

What do you guys think???

Thanks.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

How bad was his infidelity?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

> My husband goes for coffee breaks with a group of married men and women to a place near the large company where he works.
> It used to be only the men went, but now some ladies are joining them.


What type of infidelity did he earlier engage in? I don't like fooling around with someone's workplace if you don't have to..... that is what pays the mortgage.

There are probably very few places of work these days where a little bit of socialising can't help one's position. It's been noted that being in the loop for office gossip is useful, maybe to get the early scoop on committees forming that would help one's career to be a member of; and just so that your coworkers can feel that know you and you're, at least, a nice person.

A man claiming that he can't go to coffee with a mixed group, that is of men and women, because he can't control himself would be laughed out of the office. at the same time, staying away 100% of the time could stunt his professional progress.

Trying talking to him about work and show interest in it. Maybe you two can find some middle ground at the same that he can leanrn to understand the best ways to keep his female coworkers at arms length.


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## relationshipsguide_gal (Apr 6, 2013)

Hi, I appreciate that you don't want take whatever that's left of your husband's social life. I can also understand your hesitation because he has been unfaithful before. What i would suggest though is that you join their gathering some times  Getting to know or being friends with the people your spouse is hanging out with can help prevent betrayal of trust. I mean, if you are friends with the ladies your husband is hanging out with, i think it will lessen the chances that they will cheat with your husband - out of respect for you. I hope you can be able to sort this out. Warmest regards, mae


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I think my husband socializes sometimes, not every week, at coffee hour at work, but he has great personal boundaries and coffee hour is a mixed group of both men and women, not just him and women. 

I read through some of your other posts. He should be very careful with other women. He cheated. Doesn't seem remorseful from what you've said. Won't talk about his infidelity and to top it off, he's cruel to you saying things like lingerie is for young, hot women not a 50 year old like you in good shape. This coffee hour issue is the tip of a much larger iceberg of relationship problems you have, but you're probably aware of that. You can't fix this relationship by yourself. What's he doing to help improve the relationship?


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

To answer a few of the questions.

Husband cheated at erotic massage places and with porn.

We don't have a mortgage anymore but he does have the larger income.

He is at the top of his range in his career and is retiring in 2 years so there is no more advancement to be made so he doesn't need to socialize or be friends with anyone at work for that reason.

He does make comments about women at work and how they look, etc.

We have worked things out in the past two years and he is no longer visiting the city for work where he cheated, so I do believe that behaviour is over with, but who really knows.

I have decided I will ask him if he believes married men and women should be together socializing everyday. It is not in a company coffee room, but a cafe. He could easily just go to a different cafe, at least some of the time.

I think that he gave me reason to not trust him, so he should do whatever I feel comfortable with know, within reason.

??????


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