# A smart divorce?



## UndecidedinNY (Jul 11, 2013)

I am really struggling with deciding on whether to end my marriage. I have two babies, but my husband has changed and I have a feeling he is preparing to end things, and I don't want to be left financially devastated, so I'm not sure how to prepare to protect my children, or wait until I see that he actually goes through with it. 

Brief background: we are married five years and have two children, he has a stressful job that he hates, and unloads on us as a family (angry outbursts and bad temper) and i want to protect my children. He sees me as not understand and not treating him as an equal, but he doesn't help much around the house and doesn't want to be part of anything family (or extended family) related, and doesn't want to do anything with our children either unless it involves vegging out in front of the tv. He has always been a bit self centered and put himself first (even before our kids) so I can't blame him for something I knew, but he's become more distant, wants to go out socially without me, stopped wearing his ring, etc. I don't think he is having an affair but I think he wants to and is doing everything possible to make one "accidentally" happen. I think he'd LOVE to meet someone else that will "understand" him and finally pull the plug officially. 

I don't want to wait to get served with papers and rush about trying to get myself in order. What is a good way to be ready, to protect myself and my children? I paid for our new (just got it 5 months ago) house downpayment and renovations fully but it's in both our names because I stay home now and he pays for the mortgage (and his name had to be on the house for the mortgage to be in his name). I also have a social circle and family that will turn against me for divorcing (no one ever divorced and they won't accept anyone who is), but his family would not do this to him (everyone is divorced) so I really have no where to go for support, thus finding my way here.


----------

