# What is the role of a House wife/husband?



## misspuppy (Sep 19, 2010)

Ok 

this post is meant to be nice and positive, no negative things in this post please.. I have always worked since i was 16 yrs old, i am now 35. Hubby and I trade roles ALL the time, and this past 9 months or so it has been my turn to stay home, 80% due to a medical reason i am recovering from, and 20% no jobs right now where i live. So, i was wondering what everyones opinions was about HouseWife OR House Hubby roles were? for example:

When i was working and hubby was not, he was to take care of all the household chores and my son, he was to keep everything in order and make sure things were done. I was the bread winner ( i hate that term), and so my responsibilities were all the financial worries ( rent bills groceries ect). Well now the tables have turned once again,and i am the STAHM/W and i still care for all the household chores and even the money part .. Hubby brings home the check and i make sure the bills get paid.. Some think that is not fair, but WAIT before you JUMP THE GUN AND SHOOT HIM DOWN

He works 12-14 hours nights in -40 BELOW weather ( basically one oversize deep freezer), from 5pm to 6am. so during the week i take care of it ALL, the house and BILLS! but, on the weekend he chips in with the other things. He is loving caring and when i was first recovering he did it all, cooked cleaned and cared for the house .. Our lives are great and it is nice to change roles every so often, to keep us on our toes ..

So, for others who are married or in LTR's, do you ever change roles/duties? Or is there just ONE responsible for just one thing in the house? Do you split duties/household things? What about raising kids? who's job is that one or both? 

i was just curious because i have not met to many that have a relationship like ours ..


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

My H and I both worked until my youngest was about 2. Then I became the SAHM. I do all the household stuff and pay the bills, only because I am better at it LOL. I do the kids appts, cleaning, car maintenance, school meetings, cooking, cleaning, bills and everything else I can. Now that I am in classes ( three of them) that keep me at the college 4 days a week he chips in a bit more with bathtimes, washing the dishes and packing the boys school lunches, but I am also being paid to go to school. So I guess we are weird too in our own way!


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I am a SAHM, and we do not ever change roles. His job is one that he can't take time off from, really, and go back to. And with his job, I do handle EVERYTHING: house, kids, money, all of it. But I don't mind. He's an otr truck driver, so he's gone weeks at a time, busting his butt to make money. He doesn't have it any easier than I do, and at least I have the comfort of falling into a real bed at night. And he does help me with what he can from the road, and he is great when he is home. I also know that he'd be here in a second in an emergency. 

It works for us.


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

My wife has gone through long periods of being a SAHM, although she now works part time. We tried to balance things by personal strengths, but one thing we were both naturally aware of was that when she stayed home, this became her world. In other words, in some ways, the stress was greater for her because she didn't have coworkers to ventilate, rewards and recognitions. I really tried to help her to be free to tell me when I needed to dive in and help beyond the normal share of the load.

Still, she hates doing finances, etc, so I've always done this. For a long while, our daughter needed quite a bit of medical care. I have a knack for getting hospitals and insurance to write off charges, so this consumed much of my time (I've probably saved us 25% of every hospital stay,etc)

She didn't like ferrying them to sports and music activites, so I always did the bulk of this in the afternoons. I'm convinced that we bought our heavy duty washer because it can handle more, and she doesn't see more as better, so I'm no longer allowed to touch laundry. 

Other duties I at least tried to take a portion of the load. Mostly, it was a day by day thing, where I tried to sense her need and pitch in.


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