# First week of seperation, still trying to reach out



## still_in_love (Apr 17, 2012)

I posted a thread in the "considering divorce" forum a couple of nights ago and now its in the doing through divorce phase. 

I didnt beg and plead, but i did call and talk, said things i needed to say, was hurtful a bit but kept my cool. and even though i asked him to not call or text me again, i find myself looking for little things to contact him for, like" drop off your keys" and "i need to start forwarding your mail" the upcoming months are gonna be a time of breaking the attachment, and even though i said i dont want him, i want him to want me, he said that it was over and he doesnt want to be with me and that we will NEVER be marriage again or live together again, i dont want to believe him. i respond with things like " i know, and i dont want you either, i will never come back to you" but i dont mean it, and after we hang up i find things to call him for and cant stick to my word. he doesnt reply in a harsh way or tell me that im going back on my word but im sure he's thinking it. i hate being this desperate. but i still cant believe this is happening, when just a few weeks ago we were happy, just a couple of days ago he said he loved me and wanted to grow old together. how can somebody change over night?

i still dont want this divorce but feel like i have no choice but to go with it because i dont want him to think that im trying to come back.

how do you break the cycle? how do you not care?


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

Sounds like something happened that made him run. Even though he said he loved you last week doesn't mean he did. I thought I was living the dream, House / car / great wife / great kids / etc etc. And bam wife said I want a divorce. Just like that my life is over.
I read everything I could online. Posted in another forum before finding this one and slowly realised if my wife wants it over it will be. She is the only one that can stop this. So one week later she filed. I am just along for the ride now. I still love and care about her and always will. She is my kids Mom etc. But it is time to move on.
Not really sure how to break the cycle but I know I posted a lot and cried, then snapped out of it and said I'm keeping my kids and screw her. Like I said I still care but am in a better place now. Seems fast compared to some but my kids are my focus.

You will get thru this. It may not be over for you. You don't say anything about kids etc but my best suggestion is to prep for the worst and move forward.


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## worrieddad (Nov 3, 2011)

still_in_love said:


> i still dont want this divorce but feel like i have no choice but to go with it because i dont want him to think that im trying to come back.
> 
> how do you break the cycle? how do you not care?


What it ultimately comes down to, IMHO, is realizing these are the cards you have been dealt, so its all about making the best of what you have in your hand.

Personally, I now take great comfort (and probably always will) in the fact that it was not me who decided to pull the plug...it wasn't me who was the quitter. I am doing my damnedest to make the best of the situation that was forced upon me. It will take you some time (and despite my "Life of Reilly" antics lately, I'm probably not out of the woods 100% myself yet, it only being 6 months or so), but the best way to deal with it is to move forward with your new situation the best way you know how.


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