# Husband's new found fetish of oral sex is tearing us apart.



## babana (Jul 22, 2013)

I've been married for 17 years so I think I've experienced the good and bad of being married. When me and my husband got engaged, we made each other a promise to always be open with each other sexually. We also promised to always try new things with each other so things wouldn't become stale.

The problem I am having is that my husband has become addicted to me giving him oral sex. It's not the actual act that he is addicted to, it's the feeling of him finishing as well as our current location. When we got married, I would always give him oral sex. It was actually a part of our routine.

A few weeks ago, I changed things up a bit. He came home from work tired and stressed out. We had to turn around and go meet my parents at the airport since they were coming into town for the holiday. I knew he was tired and he only did it for me. Once we got to the airport, I stopped him before he got out of the car and I gave him oral sex in the car. He really enjoyed it and said that it was unexpected. I was just trying to spice things up but didn't realize that I was opening a can of worms.

Since then, he has been urging me to give him oral sex in public places. I've given in but I don't like the way that I feel afterwards. We were sitting in drive thru the other day and he thought it would be funny if the person at the window saw me giving him oral sex. He came very quick and by the time we made it to the last window, I was left there with my face covered in semen while the guy at the windows just stared at me in awe. I really felt humiliated even though my husband thought it was funny. Also yesterday, we went to see an early matinee at the movies. Of course, he wanted a bj right there in the theater since there was hardly anyone there. At least this time, I was smart enough not to make a mess and I took the full load in my mouth. I didn't want to swallow it so I spit it back in the popcorn we bought. My husband had the nerve to get upset at me. I was only doing this to make him happy and he gets upset!

I've tried talking to him about how I feel but he's not getting the message. Over the course of a couple weeks, I've given him oral sex is a movie theater, the car (a few times actually), at his job, and even once at church. I really want him to be happy but I don't feel happy about this. What should I do to ween him off? We're supposed to go to a baseball game on Thursday and I've been thinking about saying that I'm sick just so I don't have to go. I just feel that at some point, he's going to ask me to do it there. He says that he will do anything to me sexually at any place and time but that sort of life doesn't appeal much to me.


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## gumtree (Jun 1, 2013)

Wow, this is a bind. It sounds to me like you did something sweet and saucy and have unleashed a monster in him! Nothing wrong with a risky BJ in the car for sure. He is obviously extremely turned on by the element of risk, but is pushing his desire onto you when you are obviously uncomfortable about it. Have you tried simply firmly saying 'NO'? 

At the end of the day, it's your mouth and you don't have to constantly indulge this if you are not into it. It's only going to build huge resentment toward him if you feel demeaned and he ignores that. The instance at the drivethru highlights how you feel, and I'm not sure your husband understands how much this is upsetting you. He claims to be equally accommodating, have you asked for what you want in return? Any kinky stuff you wanna let out, coz now's the time lol.

Was there a time when you enjoyed this risqué addition to your sex life? I'm guessing yes, since you initiated it in the first instance and he couldn't believe his luck. Some compromise is going to be necessary here. Perhaps he will agree not to ask you for it, but you give it when you feel safe enough, so it will always be a nice surprise for him, but you will be able to enjoy it too and not feel completely powerless.

My best wishes for finding a happy medium on this one!

Is that something that could work for you, the way you communicate?


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## babana (Jul 22, 2013)

I've never tried saying no because I didn't want him to be upset. It's hard to say no when I look at him and see that this makes him happy. Also, we've been in risky situations before but nothing as risky as this. The time when it was most risky was before we got married. When the kids were younger, sex was more traditional. Maybe that's this is coming back. 

I really don't know what to do but I will take your advice and make up something risky for him to day. Maybe that will wake him up. I'll also sit him down later today and see if I can get him to understand how I feel about this.


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Maybe next time (by accident ) you just spill it on his pants.


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

Just say no


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

Cut down on it, but don't cease it completely. If he is so turned on by the risk factor, and you can provide it and please him, the chances for him to ever have an affair are none. Affairs are always about the feeling, and it seems like his - if ever the case - would be the adrenaline and excitement of getting caught.
So talk him into some moderation, but agree to do it, like let's say once a month? lol the church thing was a bit much.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I think you are pulling our leg, but here is my solution....

Have little drives specifically for the purpose of giving him public BJ's...

The solution is, YOU get to pick the place....He has to suffer, driving around with a raging erection, pleading with YOU to pick a place you think is "safe"...He gets his "public BJ, and you get a bit of security.....

Sounds HOT to me...

the woodchuck


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Sounds one sided. Cut back on giving it to him all the time.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

"I've never tried saying no because I didn't want him to be upset."


Gimme a break.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

If he is going to be upset with you if you were to say NO, then you got bigger issues going on than just his fetish.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Grow a vagina and learn to say no. Use the strength of your vagina to weather his pout when you say no. Use the allure of that vagina and tell him where he can put his drooping lower lip, and tongue, to good effect.

Be a grown up who has boundaries and the strength to enforce them.


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## shesgone (Feb 4, 2011)

I agree with most of the posters above. 
Tell him NO. I can all but guarantee you my wife would tell me no if we were sitting in a drive through. 
Get her in the house and there is almost nothing she will say no to, and I mean almost nothing.
I will say we have done many act in the car at night driving down the road though.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

You started off with a lot of great sex and even kept it spicy, fantastic.

Then you gave him oral sex and he loves it, and even do it outside, which is naughty and fun.

Now you want to ween him off oral sex?

Your hubby obviously is a HD guy.

If his thing is oral sex, then oral sex it is. If you try to ween him off and cut out the outside oral sex, he will find someone else.

How's this for a solution.

Every time he wants outside oral sex, make him give you outside oral sex first. Otherwise, no sex for him. See if that cuts back on the oral sex.


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## shesgone (Feb 4, 2011)

A little off subject, but why is it everytime someone says you have the right to not do something, people always say your SO will look for it somewhere else.
I can't think of a single thing I wouldn't do for my wife or she wouldn't do for me, and I use the word anything, if I truly wanted it. 

Maybe I'm old school or something. but I wouldn't go look for someone else just because my wife didn't want to pull up to a drive through with my C*ck in her mouth and cum dripping off her chin.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> You started off with a lot of great sex and even kept it spicy, fantastic.
> 
> Then you gave him oral sex and he loves it, and even do it outside, which is naughty and fun.
> 
> ...


It didn't sound to me like she wanted to wean him off oral sex. It sounded more like she wanted to find a way to wean him off of oral sex in public places that left her feeling too exposed, humiliated and used. 

He's obviously very comfortable with having other people see his wife giving him head or with c*m on her face after doing so. She's much less comfortable being seen that way by other people. She's not some shrieking man-hating harpy who wants to cut her man off. She's a wife who's not comfortable with the level of exhibitionism her man is currently insisting on. She needs to tell him how she feels and stop doing sexual things that are beyond her personal boundaries. He'll either respect those boundaries and they'll work together to find something to do that makes them both happy, or their marriage has a larger problem.


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

Ummm stop doing it???

In public or anywhere YOU feel uncomfortable doing it. YOU get to choose when and where. I'd feel pretty used and cheap in your situation especially if my husband was making it into a joke.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

Stop giving him BJs and demand you change the roles for a while. Does he satisfy you at all?


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## barcafan (Jul 25, 2012)

Damn this thread is boner approved. :smthumbup:


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

shesgone said:


> A little off subject, but why is it everytime someone says you have the right to not do something, people always say your SO will look for it somewhere else.
> I can't think of a single thing I wouldn't do for my wife or she wouldn't do for me, and I use the word anything, if I truly wanted it.
> 
> Maybe I'm old school or something. but I wouldn't go look for someone else just because my wife didn't want to pull up to a drive through with my C*ck in her mouth and cum dripping off her chin.


Well admitedly you arent in a position where you've been constantly denied your sexual desires. Give it some time...the frustration and despair builds until finally a person becomes vulnerable to temptation. I dont believe in cheaters having character issues anymore. Anybody can cheat.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

i'm getting mixed messages from your post. "addicted" to me is a bad thing, but it sounds like you are fine and like giving him BJ's - it's just the venue that you have a problem with, right?

What do you mean - you're afraid if you say 'no' he'll get upset. So do you give him BJ's because you want to, or because he'll get upset if you don't?

You have to tell him that you are happy to give him BJ's but it's because _you _want to, not because he wants to and will be upset if you don't. It's now crossing the line. You already don't want to go places because he'll expect a risque BJ.

If he loves you and cares about you, he will respect your feelings.

How dare he get annoyed that you spit cum in the popcorn. You do something awesome for him, at his request, when and where he wants it, despite your reservations, and _he _gets pissed? That is really messed up. At that moment, he stopped treating you like his incredibly loving wife, and more like a sex object there to please at his exact specifications.

You need to be honest with him and tell him that, it may not be tearing him apart, but he doesn't realize that it's tearing you two apart. I promise you, he won't get sex like what you're giving him anywhere else, so he'd better protect and treasure what you give him and not take it for granted and want and expect more and more.

You're worried about making him upset, meanwhile, look what it's doing to you.


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