# Ultimate insult - putting your spouses heath at risk



## lovestruckout (Jul 6, 2011)

To be honest, I've been able to come to terms with what my WW has created for us, with multiple men. She's an a$$hole, and she now completely understands that. But last night I explained to her that the biggest act of disrespect she has created is the fact that she was reckless with one of the guys, putting her health and my freaking health at risk. Fortunately all is well after being testing and the amount of time that has transpired (many years), but the chance was certainly out there for disaster to strike.

I mean, how can some people operate without any concept of consequence? It's like she lacks the gene for identifying any and all risks. Risk your marriage? Check. Risk your health? Check. Risk your job (drinking at work)? Check. Risk your spouses health, Check.

I know it's not limited to her. I always gave my roomates in collage plenty of these -  - when they would tell me they had unprotected sex with strangers. Why is it so easy for some people (me in this case, back in college) to walk away from an encounter when you are not prepared (condom), yet others get all fogged up and just say, I must do this? It blows my mind.


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## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

My H had unprotected sex with the OW when I was at home pregnant waiting for him to bring home milk. 

I was livid about the unprotected sex but I was WAY MORE livid (and still am) at the risk of pregnancy. When I asked him if it ever crossed his mind his eyes went wide as saucers - he hadn't even considered that might happen!!! What an effin tool. What if he had knocked up the OW while I was home pregnant.

AND I had sex with him after that. What I had contracted something while pregnant?!?! GAH. It angers me TO NO END that he did that to me.


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## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

oh ya, he joined the risking his job club too - by having that unprotected sex at his OFFICE.

What if he had lost the job that supports his family for staying late to bang his co-worker.


oh.......the anger.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

lovestruckout said:


> I mean, how can some people operate without any concept of consequence? It's like she lacks the gene for identifying any and all risks. Risk your marriage? Check. Risk your health? Check. Risk your job (drinking at work)? Check. Risk your spouses health, Check.



You are mistaken. They know the risks and think they are acceptable. It was perfectly fine to your wife to put your health at risk.

You have to wrap your head around that and not just figure they are incapable of understanding the consequences.

Thinking they are incapable allows you to find a wedge back into the relationship. Use it if you must, but it is not really the truth of it.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

Hmmmm I’m not really sure about this one. 

My WW is generally a very cautious person. She’s always looked out for herself and her family. She is conservative and not one that you would at all consider wild, a freak, or a wh0re. I can attest to this after being married or dating her for the past 19 years. She was also a virgin when we started dating.

So when her affair started up all of that seemed to go out the window. I believe that the fog helped her justify many, many things, including but not limited to the possibility of unprotected sex.

In our situation she did not have sex with the OM. It was discussed and planned, but it did not work out. During the planning phase the OM mentioned that he did not like condoms. He wanted to ensure that she was on the pill (she is), and reassured her that since he was a fireman that he gets tested regularly for STD’s. And she was perfectly fine with that. She was sitting on go so to speak. If that POS had shown up the day she was waiting for him they would have done it for sure.

Now reality kicks in and the fog has lifted. I have asked her about that decision a couple of times. And, I have reminded her of the following facts:

The OM admitted to her that he had “wh0red around” a lot for the past couple of years with some freaky chicks. The type that like to be choked while having sex….good ol nasty bar chicks

The OM had admitted to cheating on his ex wife…while she was pregnant none the less.

My wife suspected the OM of being with 2 other affair partners during their own affair.

The OM’s live-in girlfriend has been with at least 12 different guys and she is only 26 years old.


All of that screams high risk! Just how thick is this fog??? This perfectly conservative and sweet wife took everything I thought I ever knew about her and turned it upside down. She was able to justify all of it without hesitation because she was hearing what she wanted to hear, and believing what she wanted to believe. She thought the OM was “sent” to her to save her from a failing marriage.

I guess when you receive a “gift” from a higher power, you are supposed to **** it bareback.


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## cj9947 (Jul 9, 2011)

I read one stat that said that affair partners are more likely NOT to use protection. Something like 60% do not for various reasons. Sad to say I guess it is a norm for cheaters not to use protection. 

In my WW's case her logic was border line ridiculous. She said she did not use protection for two reasons; he said he was clean and it is a man's job to provide condoms and her affair partner didn't.

It's hard to believe someone you cared enough to marry thought so little of your well being.


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## lovestruckout (Jul 6, 2011)

cj9947 said:


> I read one stat that said that affair partners are more likely NOT to use protection. Something like 60% do not for various reasons. Sad to say I guess it is a norm for cheaters not to use protection.
> 
> In my WW's case her logic was border line ridiculous. She said she did not use protection for two reasons; he said he was clean and it is a man's job to provide condoms and her affair partner didn't.
> 
> It's hard to believe someone you cared enough to marry thought so little of your well being.


Not sure in your situations, but this 'risk free' lifestyle was established in my WW at a young age. I have the fortune (misfortune?) to have known her since we were teenagers, and she was always operating under this lifestyle. I mean there were so many warning signs. . . maybe I was attracted to her bad girl persona. She used to take her parents car out without a license, plenty of sneaking out at night, the typical amount of drinking and smoking (this was normal in a teenage sense, not ridiculous).

She whole-heartedly admits she needed to get caught to come to terms with how she has approached our marriage/her lifestyle. And it had to be grand-piano falling on her damn head caught. . . not the wrist slap catches I had provided in previous situations.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I guess in a way, my cheating wife was somewhat sensible... despite the fact that her tubes are tied, and that we had been married for over 6 years she was suddenly adamant about practising safe sex... huh. She says it is kind of a turn on. ok, its been a long time since we last made love, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt (because I know in my mind that there is a big deficit in the love deposit account, had some serious bonding to catch up on). Except it didn't take very long to realize despite the longing, despite she was looking hot, despite a fabulous night out, despite "turning her on" with safe sex (wow, why the F did she tell me again where we live has the highest rate of HIV in the country as she was getting the condom?) she clearly was not into it and trying to fool me into thinking she was in order to cover her lies.

So atleast she didn't expose my genitals to whatever hers may have been exposed to, I have to wonder WTF she was thinking that led her on that path.


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## ren (Aug 1, 2011)

Assuming she was honest about being tested before we started our relationship, and I believe she was, she caught HPV having unprotected sex while cheating on me. I'm certain I didn't give it to her. It infected her cervix and was treated with minor surgery, she has to go in for regular check ups the rest of her life because it can return at any time. I don't have any symptoms but assume I'm carrying it now too. That's a tough one to deal with emotionally but I'm just glad it wasn't anything more serious.


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## EmeraldEyez (Jun 17, 2011)

Yeah my WH, didn't use protection with any of them, so major health risks, because he knew they were "easy" because all of his fellow soldiers were nailing these female soldiers too. We did have the scare of one of his GI Hos calling me and telling me she was pregnant and my husband could be the father....so yeah, don't just shatter my world, break my heart, and potentially kill my son's mother, but hey...let's risk being a father to some skanks kid, when you can't even be responsible for the ones you already have.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's not an insult, it's an ASSAULT. Technically it could be. Let's say you have RA and you're on an immunosuppressant therapy and your spouse cats around and brings you a shiny new package of TB or Hep. And it kills you.


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## wild_irish_rose (Aug 6, 2011)

My H and his cheating ways managed to infect me with HPV. Now I have to live with the worry of my increased risk of reproductive cancer for the rest of my life. Yeah, I'm p*ssed off about it as well.


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