# Giving space...where do you find the balance?



## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

We are into 2nd day of H living in a extended stay hotel. He wants space and I am coming to realize I have to respect that...I pretty much begged him to stay so we could do the love dare and in 9 day he moved out. Told me that he wasn't feeling it and I caught him texting another women who he works with. She said there is nothing between them and I believe her....I might just be a fool but I believer her. I DO think he was trying to do stuff with her thou. 

We have 2 kids together that are pretty young one is 9 and the other is pretty much still a baby(toddler) He is very involved in his kids lives, but I am wondering how do I balance giving him space and stepping over the line? 

I have already told myself I will not call him or text(which is easier said then done) I have been pretty much hiding my phone from myself. Do I see him when he comes over to pick up the kids or should I just have them waiting for him at the door? Is limiting pretty much all contact the best way to give him space?

This sucks


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

What is the background to him moving out?




finallyseewhy said:


> We are into 2nd day of H living in a extended stay hotel. He wants space and I am coming to realize I have to respect that...I pretty much begged him to stay so we could do the love dare and in 9 day he moved out. Told me that he wasn't feeling it and I caught him texting another women who he works with. She said there is nothing between them and I believe her....I might just be a fool but I believer her. I DO think he was trying to do stuff with her thou.
> 
> We have 2 kids together that are pretty young one is 9 and the other is pretty much still a baby(toddler) He is very involved in his kids lives, but I am wondering how do I balance giving him space and stepping over the line?
> 
> ...


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

We have been having issues for a while but have always worked it out I was insecure and would blow up all the time....I didn't always make it fun for him to come home 

He has a history of not telling the complete truth on everything. Well a few months ago he started to be sort of sneaky with his phone. I could tell he was deleting messages ect. The 1st thing he got busted on was lying to me about talking to the OW/Co-worker. Then 3 wks ago he disappeared for 3 hrs and then lied to me that he was with a friend. I later found out he was at a restaurant with this women. Well I freaked out and told him I wanted him to leave. Well I then paniced and realized I didn't want my family to be ruined so I tired the 'Love Dare' and begged him to stay and try for another month....he said he wanted to leave but still stayed. Well in the following 9 days we were doing great(I thought) I knew he was scared I was going to change back to my old ways but he seemed to be opened. We were making love a lot and being very intimate in other ways too. Well I found out he took this other women and our child(her child was there too) to a movie, dinner, ice cream and told our child to NOT tell me.....well they did  

Well I was devastated and told him that he hurt me like non other and involving our child was NOT OK. Well he pretty much told me to F-off and that he could be friends with anyone he wanted to and that I told him to get out before so he could do what ever he wanted too & that he told me that he wanted to leave. Well I woke around 4AM that next morning to find him texting....it was what woke me I keep hearing it go off. Well I went and grabbed the phone and saw he was texting her and that one of the messages was talking about 'morning wood' and 'knowing who he was into' I freaked out and told him to get out. 

I talked to her and she swore that nothing was going on between them on her side of it....that they were just friends. She also said she had been cheated on and would never do that to another person. I talked to her for a while and believe her but then I am so lost/numb I don't know what do do/


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

Well our oldest child just told me a while making lunch that his dad was going to buy a house that we looked at(I guess he told him this yesterday). I remained calm but it took everything in me to want to cry/scream all at the same time. Right before H left he brought me TOO THIS HOUSE and acted as if we were going to live in it together.....even going as far of saying he knew it was the exact type of house he knew I always wanted.


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