# Am I crazy or is she?



## kimo2016 (Jun 28, 2016)

Here is our story, but will try to make it short. 

We've been together for 4 years but with one big separation and now just broke up and I don't know if I should fight for her or just move on. 

When we started everything was amazing, people used to think we were in honeymoon every time they would see us. Like every couple we have issues but I think the issue we have are so stupid and also I think that she is over controlling and that's what makes the argument. 

1. Health Issue
After a year of being together she started to be super healthy because she had some skin and health issues and learned about the benefit of becoming vegan and all. So when she became healthy she expected me to be healthy as well and used to get upset if I had any junk food. Like she would tell me that she doesn't understand why I don't take care of my self, that she wouldn't see her life with someone that doesn't take care of him, etc... Her attitude used to change if I had a candy or some ice tea and that would make an argument because then I would ask whats wrong she would say nothing but I knew there was something so then I would ask again and she would tell me that she doesn't understand why I don't make any effort regarding food, etc.. And this would piss me off because I don't understand why because she suddenly decided to become healthy I also had to become healthy. 

Question: 
I mean I understand that she wanted the best for me but is it right to act the way she did? 
Or did I do the mistake by getting upset? 

I used to tell her that there are ways to make someone change but the way she was doing it was wrong. Being upset or acting different when I had junk food was not the right way. For example I used to tell her that I'm muslim and she's not and I would never force her to pray or be upset if she didn't. I would try to sometimes tell her the good things about Islam and then just hope that one day she would. 

2. The way I look
Another thing she complains about is my look and the way I take care of my self. So she is extremely passionate about fashion make up etc, and she always want to look good, but for me its not that important and I actually like her more without makeup. So she used to ask me to remove my glasses and put contacts because she thought I was more attractive without glasses. And I used to tell her that I didn't like putting contacts in my eye so I couldn't do this but that one day I would do laser. And same as with the food she used to act differently and always say something about my glasses until the day I broke them and got so upset that she would always say something and act differently if I had them on. Then I guess after me getting so upset and broking them she understood that it was not a solution and never said anything about it. After the glasses it was me wearing some green pants that she didn't like, or other True Religion jeans (they have big pockets on the back) that she didn't like, so had to stop wearing them. Also she was asking me to do manicure and she wanted me to have my beard always trimmed and would be upset if I didn't and would say something about my beards if it was a 3-4 days beard. 

Now my question, I made some effort so when she used to tell me to shave and be with me I used to do it, I throw all the jeans she didn't like and bought new ones, but yes sometimes I would wear things she doesn't like or my beard would be a bit too long for her. 

Question: 
Is it normal that she would say something every time I'm not at her standards? 

I get upset when she says something about my clothes or my beard because its not like its always the case and I don't understand why she doesn't accept me the way I am and she says that she doesn't like the way I react when she says something about me when she is only trying to make me a better person. 

Question: 
What does that mean? Should I not get upset? 

I used to ask her to remove her make up some times because I prefer her without make up but then she would get all upset not even wanting to talk about it and telling me that is different that her putting makeup is taking care of her self and me not shaving is not taking care of me. And I used to tell her that the same way she prefers when I'm well trimmed or shaved I prefer her without makeup and that it used to piss me off that I would make the effort and she wouldn't. 

Question: 
Is she crazy and controlling or is it me that should just take care of my self and make her happy and not say anything about her makeup? 

I will continue with the other things once I have some answers to those questions because there is a lot and I don't want to get confused. 

Thanks for your help everyone. Looking forward to your replies.


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