# Experiencing pain during sex?



## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I have been having trouble lately... Well I can't really say "lately" because it's happened pretty frequently in the past to. I'd say I experience pain during intercourse about half the time we have sex. 

It's not because my boyfriend is particularly large. He is average sized. About 6 1/2 inches.

It seems like my boyfriend and I can only have sex comfortably if we are in missionary, doggie style, or me on top. There are other positions I'd like to try, but I just can't handle them. I tear very easily. I usually end up getting ripped at the bottom down there. It's very frustrating because after that we have to wait 2-3 days for me to "heal up". 

I've went to doctors about this problem before and they look at me and tell me nothings wrong. It's just a tear. Use more lubrication. 

Well we've tried that and it isn't making a difference! Could anyone please shed some light on this?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

length matters naught (and 6.5 inches is actually on the longer side btw)

it's width


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## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

Good point. He is pretty thick. Uhm, I'm not sure if there is really anyway to remedy this then?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well lube, but you mentioned it doesn't work

your vagina is flexible and can be stretched- women give birth after all. 

to be honest if you have positions that are satisfying then I would give the fancy positions that cause pain a rest, you can always ease into trying the other positions and such, you do need to be more relaxed in order to try them and right now you are too scared/tense. I suggest when you get super horny you give them a try as it will help.


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## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

Thank you for the advice. I'll be sure and give it a try. I've really never been able to experience other positions without having pain. I wish there was a quick solution to this as I've heard other women complain of this problem as well.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Based on this thread there might be a clue as why sex could be painful.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/48694-i-only-want-rough-sex.html


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well, it's either...

he's too wide or
you're too tight

or both

have a baby and problem's solved!! (Kidding!!)

but in all seriousness you can stretch yourself slowly, maybe get increasing sized dildos to play with (hell your BF might even want to help)


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> Based on this thread there might be a clue as why sex might be painful.
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/48694-i-only-want-rough-sex.html


oh my


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## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

Well perhaps that is one of the reasons. But it's not like my bf is just pounding away at me (for lack of better words). When I say "rough sex" I meant more of bdsm play, not really hardcore sex. He's tried being gentle with me to no avail. It happened when we first started dating too, and I know we weren't having rough sex then.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Try a silicone based lube, rather than water based. Big difference in performance.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

I believe amplexor has solved the mystery here folks.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Roughness, hair growing back, position, not enough lube size can all cause tears....after you get one, clean well with warm washcloth and put some neosporin on it a couple times a day and wipe each time you use the restroom with a babywipe for faster healing. Also more frequent sex will help stretch you so the tears dont keep happening, but not rough sex you may need to tone it down or a bit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaclynnbaker (Jan 30, 2009)

I am also having the same problem and I have given birth 3 times vaginally and am not particularly tight nor is he large. Same thing happens to me only it is every time and takes weeks to heal.


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## mace85 (Mar 12, 2012)

My wife had that problem. As it turned out her Seasonique brand bc pill knocked out her vestibular glands killing natural lubrication. Switched pills, problem went away.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So the pain is that you tear? Maybe once you got the first tear it never heals completely and you just keep ripping open the same one?


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## jaclynnbaker (Jan 30, 2009)

exactly with me elegirl. i am tryin hormone cream. it is working.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

Use more lube..and maybe get a dildo on the thicker side (or at least thicker then your partner) and slowly use it everyday...might help stretch things out a bit and make other positions more comfortable. Or its possible that your partner is too rough in these positions...tell him to go really slow and work it into an angle that you feel you won't tear in.


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