# Men do you do most of the actions when love making?



## Ragnar Ragnasson

This was inspired by the "are u responsible for making her orgasm?" thread.

Men,
Do you do most of the "work" when love making with your W, or ltr gf?

As men are generators (in general) of getting her "off" first, in general, oral, fingers, toys, etc as well as the "engine" behind most PIV activities, do you find;

If someone was in theory objectively observing would they say you're doing most of the physical activity, ie (kindly) "most of the work" during most of the love making sessions?


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## Girl_power

I think we know the answer to this.


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## Marduk

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.


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## ladybird

I've never gotten off first.( one time) . always been him first If i want to have an orgasm i need to do all the work


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

It varies in some, and doesn't so much in some relationships. 

It seems interesting to explore for educational purposes.


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## Girl_power

I can only go on top for like 7 mins... that is hard work lol. But bc of this post I’ll try to start and finish on top. #goals


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## bobert

It varies. Sometimes I do everything. Sometimes she does everything. Sometimes it's 50/50.


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## Girl_power

I would say it’s usually 50/50. Sometimes all him, but never all me.


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## Marduk

Girl_power said:


> I can only go on top for like 7 mins... that is hard work lol. But bc of this post I’ll try to start and finish on top. #goals


Squats. 

Lots of squats.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

It's usually all to mostly all me, to share my own.

It seems unless a women spends time on top, mostly it's the man for much of the action, ie motion of the ocean.

In reality any position except when she's on top, it's the man burning the calories. Even oral on her.


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## CharlieParker

Girl_power said:


> I can only go on top for like 7 mins... that is hard work lol. But bc of this post I’ll try to start and finish on top. #goals


Be careful, the neighbors [may] complain about the noises above. 

More seriously, if she's on top it's not like I'm not doing anything. A lot depends on the act and/or position. Seems to balance out for us and we both seem to know when step it up.


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## uhtred

Fairly balanced for us. In general though she only gets off when I'm doing things specifically for her.


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## leftfield

I do more than 50% of the work. Once in a while that changes. Like when I hurt my back and couldn't do much besides lay there.


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## sa58

50/50 after 30+ years we know what each other likes.
Kids moved out, no close neighbors.

When we were younger we tried not to break any
furniture. As we get older will try not to break a hip.LOL


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

This kind of highlights my general opinion, although I could be wrong, very well might be; that a man does most of the action, although DW and I do vary.

And there's no hidden agenda, certainly no judgments in any shape or fashion. I like it all ways, always.

Strictly educational purposes 🙂.


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## LisaDiane

Girl_power said:


> I can only go on top for like 7 mins... that is hard work lol. But bc of this post I’ll try to start and finish on top. #goals


You should get one of those sex-stool-things -- it looks like being on top could be much easier with that!!

I am VERY curious to try one...!!! :grin2:


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## Girl_power

LisaDiane said:


> You should get one of those sex-stool-things -- it looks like being on top could be much easier with that!!
> 
> 
> 
> I am VERY curious to try one...!!! :grin2:




I have to look into it I’m not sure what your talking about.


I’ve always wanted to try sex on top where my feet are actually on the ground/bed and you kinda look like a frog. I saw it on porn and then I was thinking am I the only one what doesn’t have top sex like this!! But it looks super awkward and I would probably start laughing. Or my boyfriend would be scared lol.


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## Girl_power

LisaDiane said:


> You should get one of those sex-stool-things -- it looks like being on top could be much easier with that!!
> 
> 
> 
> I am VERY curious to try one...!!! :grin2:















Is this what your talking about?


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## CharlieParker

Girl_power said:


> Is this what your talking about?


That’s what I assumed. There used be a female poster here who *highly, highly* recommended this. (Biggest problem she had was the young kids loved it, I forget why.)

You do know you can lean over and embrace your partner and he’ll kind of be required to do most of the work.


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## Girl_power

CharlieParker said:


> That’s what I assumed. There used be a female poster here who *highly, highly* recommended this. (Biggest problem she had was the young kids loved it, I forget why.)
> 
> 
> 
> You do know you can lean over and embrace your partner and he’ll kind of be required to do most of the work.




Those poles look like they would hurt and be annoying.


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## CharlieParker

Girl_power said:


> Those poles look like they would hurt and be annoying.


I’d hope you fit between them. I’m more worried about being “tall” enough.


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## BashfulB

I do 75% of the work because my wife is simply not able to move as well with her arthritis. And she likes me to toss her around some. I don't mind.


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## Girl_power

CharlieParker said:


> I’d hope you fit between them. I’m more worried about being “tall” enough.




Unless the women’s legs are really close together, that pole would hit our highs. I think we need to put our feet/legs together/


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## CharlieParker

Girl_power said:


> Unless the women’s legs are really close together, that pole would hit our highs. I think we need to put our feet/legs together/


I think you need to turn 90 degrees.


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## Casual Observer

I have to do 99% of the "work" because my wife is in pretty bad shape physically (pretty heavy, no leg muscles). If she were in shape and weighed less, I expect things would be quite different because we started with her primarily on top and in-control. I think the lack of feeling in-control, on her part, is a significant issue. 

There is a notable lack of information available for how a heavier & out-of-shape person can take control and have fun during sex.

Would be interesting to hear from women who are in much better shape than their husbands. Are they doing most of the actions/work since they're more nimble? Or are there the same sort of limitations when he's overweight?


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## Girl_power

CharlieParker said:


> I think you need to turn 90 degrees.




Ok so I think your legs have to be really wide or super close together to avoid the pole... man the things that are on my google search history


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## Casual Observer

Girl_power said:


> Ok so I think your legs have to be really wide or super close together to avoid the pole... man the things that are on my google search history


Google search history is easily erased. Beware sharing your Amazon account though!

OK, back OT, mostly, my guess is that it's the person *not* doing the work that is most-likely to complain about lack of variety?


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## VeryHurt

Girl_power said:


> Is this what your talking about?


Looks like a luggage rack!


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## Bluesclues

Girl_power said:


> CharlieParker said:
> 
> 
> 
> I think you need to turn 90 degrees.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ok so I think your legs have to be really wide or super close together to avoid the pole... man the things that are on my google search history
Click to expand...

I think I would rather deal with the poles than have my inner thighs sliced open by that fabric. Ouch!


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## LisaDiane

Girl_power said:


> Is this what your talking about?



YES YES YES!!!! Although I saw one with a kind-of handlebar on it which could keep my hands from being awkward, trying to find a place to hold on to....but still, it looks VERY interesting...!!!


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## LisaDiane

The one I saw also had a drawing of AAAALLLL the positions you could try with it, and from what I remember they didn't look like the bars or elastic bands would be awkward or painful, but who knows....I would just love to TRY it...


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## Girl_power

LisaDiane said:


> The one I saw also had a drawing of AAAALLLL the positions you could try with it, and from what I remember they didn't look like the bars or elastic bands would be awkward or painful, but who knows....I would just love to TRY it...




I think you should buy it for your husband and you for a Christmas present!! And report back.


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## LisaDiane

Girl_power said:


> I think you should buy it for your husband and you for a Christmas present!! And report back.


Ooooh, YEAH!!! I could do that, I didn't think about Christmas....! It's not actually that far away!!
If I do, I'll definitely report back!! :grin2:


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## PrivateJ90

Pretty much 50/50 but that can also depend on how tired one of us might be or just a little quickie. The side position works wonders in this case.


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## Blondilocks

Since figuring out how to use the sex stool is proving to be difficult for some, it explains why some men do most of the work.:grin2:

Still trying to figure out why kids would enjoy it. Dang it, @CharlieParker, you can not just drop that here.


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## MJJEAN

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This was inspired by the "are u responsible for making her orgasm?" thread.
> 
> Men,
> Do you do most of the "work" when love making with your W, or ltr gf?
> 
> As men are generators (in general) of getting her "off" first, in general, oral, fingers, toys, etc as well as the "engine" behind most PIV activities, do you find;
> 
> If someone was in theory objectively observing would they say you're doing most of the physical activity, ie (kindly) "most of the work" during most of the love making sessions?


I do most of the work when DH and I have sex (which is mostly cowgirl). I orgasm from PIV alone, so there usually isn't a lot of oral, fingers, toys, etc. involved unless it's a long weekend or other occasion when we both have extra energy and time to really play.


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## Mr.Married

My wife is pretty small so she doesn't make for much of a work out. She is easy to man handle and it seems she likes it that way.

It seems in our forties now that she doesn't mind doing all the work from time to time but submissiveness will always be her thing.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

MJJEAN said:


> I do most of the work when DH and I have sex (which is mostly cowgirl). I orgasm from PIV alone, so there usually isn't a lot of oral, fingers, toys, etc. involved unless it's a long weekend or other occasion when we both have extra energy and time to really play.


Just objectively speaking, no insinuations or deeper;

You are my kind of woman!


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## Volunteer86

Unfortunately...I do most of the work if she gets on top or does the work it's over FAST...That way if Im doing the work at least I can somewhat control that aspect...


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## Blondilocks

Mr.Married said:


> *My wife is pretty small so she doesn't make for much of a work out. *She is easy to man handle and it seems she likes it that way.
> 
> It seems in our forties now that she doesn't mind doing all the work from time to time but submissiveness will always be her thing.


I don't know why this makes me laugh, it just does. :grin2:


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## arbitrator

*I look upon loving sex as an equal opportunity sport!

Both parties should foremostly be responsible for physically pleasing their partner. 

Otherwise, the act of sex becomes a negotiable commodity, often with one being a winner and the other a loser!*


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Girl_power said:


> I have to look into it I’m not sure what your talking about.
> 
> 
> I’ve always wanted to try sex on top where my feet are actually on the ground/bed and you kinda look like a frog. I saw it on porn and then I was thinking am I the only one what doesn’t have top sex like this!! But it looks super awkward and I would probably start laughing. Or my boyfriend would be scared lol.


Believe it or not 🥰🥰 Amazon sells these. It's amazing what all sex toys and furniture they sell 👍👍👍 everyone interested will have to look on their own.


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## Tilted 1

LisaDiane said:


> You should get one of those sex-stool-things -- it looks like being on top could be much easier with that!!
> 
> I am VERY curious to try one...!!! :grin2:


???? Links


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## Tilted 1

VeryHurt said:


> Looks like a luggage rack!


At the motel and l always thought it was a suitcase shelf WTF, l am too simple but there's always the hope.


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## LisaDiane

Tilted 1 said:


> ???? Links


Lolol!!!

Hang on, I'll find one...!


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## Tilted 1

Girl_power said:


>


I'm talking about this.


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## LisaDiane

Here it is!!

https://www.amazon.com/Multifunctio...f_rd_t=40701&refRID=30Q36V2BZW3Q35DGRKQC&th=1


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## Zing

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This kind of highlights my general opinion, although I could be wrong, very well might be; that a man does most of the action, although DW and I do vary.
> 
> And there's no hidden agenda, certainly no judgments in any shape or fashion. I like it all ways, always.
> 
> Strictly educational purposes ��.


I would have given this, two likes if I could...

In our marriage dynamic, my hubby does 80 - 90% of the work in the bedroom. 
At first glance, it might seem like I'm being selfish but that is not it. If he wanted me to do something for him, I would. At least try...

He is toooooo ticklish for me to even touch him in most places crying: even upper arms and calves...) I've tried grabbing (almost pinching), and yet he squirms. And anything ticklish is a mood killer for him.

He comes from a household where there has never been touching of any sort past the baby stage. He is simply not used to being touched.

We do come from a traditional culture where the 'virgin bride being coy in bed' is still the prevalent mentality. If I try anything too bold, he'll have a deer-in-the-headlights-look for a while. 

How it works for us, is that he gets aroused by touching me, hearing me, watching me respond to his touches, observing my expressions. Lately, he cannot even finish unless he's gazing at me directly... so much so that he actually shifts me around from his favourite doggie pose back to missionary so he can watch me which helps him actually climax.

I tried oral, but he finds that overstimulating too. I tried on top, but he said he felt nothing that way. Thankfully, he does like me French-kissing him, and he's a good kisser.

So, he's the 'toucher' and I am the 'touchee'... he gently dominates and ravishes me, while I reap the benefits of his wants... works well because I love the feeling of him on top, pinning me down... nibbling my neck... kissing me... threading his fingers in my hair... plus, he's a patient lover. 

So, yes - somehow, my husband has made me selfish in bed because that's the only way he likes it.


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## notmyjamie

Zing said:


> So, yes - somehow, my husband has made me selfish in bed because that's what the only way he likes it.


I would say the fact that you always allow him to do things his way makes you a very unselfish lover. He's lucky to have you :smile2:


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## Zing

notmyjamie said:


> I would say the fact that you always allow him to do things his way makes you a very unselfish lover. He's lucky to have you :smile2:


Awww thanks. 
I was searching for a 'blushing-equivalent' emoticon to attach to the text, because I didn't want to make it seem like I was complaining  ... Loool


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## Blondilocks

LisaDiane said:


> Here it is!!
> 
> https://www.amazon.com/Multifunctio...f_rd_t=40701&refRID=30Q36V2BZW3Q35DGRKQC&th=1


Maybe, you need to put a warning label on your post. It might be too much for some folks.:wink2:lol


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## ConanHub

Blondilocks said:


> Maybe, you need to put a warning label on your post. It might be too much for some folks.:wink2:lol


I'm not even sure how to use one of those!?!?!?:surprise:

I scrolled down...... LoL!

Don't think we need it yet.:grin2:


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## LisaDiane

ConanHub said:


> I'm not even sure how to use one of those!?!?!?:surprise:
> 
> I scrolled down...... LoL!
> 
> Don't think we need it yet.:grin2:


Lol!!! It's not about "YET", it's about "TOO"!!!!! :wink2:


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## ConanHub

LisaDiane said:


> Lol!!! It's not about "YET", it's about "TOO"!!!!! :wink2:


From the look of it and the mannequin, it is for her on top?


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## lessthennone

I would say I do 90% of the work. I wish I could get her to be less selfish, but I don't know how. 

Foreplay is 100% on me. She lays down on her back and I try to kiss her neck and rub the back of her head until she's able to focus. At this point, she's not yet ready to makeout. I keep going to see if she's going to be responsive. If she seems into it, I offer her oral. If she doesn't want oral, then I usually get on top or behind her. If I ask her to change positions,he gets nervous that I'll ask her to get on top. That's like a once or twice a year thing, kind of like BJ's. If I ask her for a second position swap, then she gets very impatient and starts asking why it's not working and making rude statements.. After that point, I'm usually no longer able to cum, so we give up and I'll finish off in the bathroom after she falls asleep. 

It's terribly awkward. I've brought it up before. Even last week, we had sex on Monday and Tuesday. But, I tried on Thursday. We were flirting in the morning, and I thought it was a given. She walked in and said I've been wearing this lingerie all day. She flashed a boob ad then said "But I don't feel like it tonight." So I didn't immediately take no for an answer, I asked what happened, got the excuses and eventually I got a text from her implying she changed her mind. So I found her in the kitchen. We started having sex, but about 5-7 minutes in, she got impatient. She started with the comments and I was no longer turned on.


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## Blondilocks

ConanHub said:


> From the look of it and the mannequin, it is for her on top?


Conan, don't be in such a hurry. Take your time and scroll through the little pics and enlarge. Very informative!:grin2:

Here's a clue: she doesn't have to be on top.


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## ConanHub

Blondilocks said:


> Conan, don't be in such a hurry. Take your time and scroll through the little pics and enlarge. Very informative!:grin2:
> 
> Here's a clue: she doesn't have to be on top.


BLUSH!!!!!!:surprise:

Ok. Very umm... versatile it seems...


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## Blondilocks

I have figured out what is missing from this thread - @Andy1001 's input.

Andy, you've been around the block a time or two so what do you think of the op's question and the sex stool?


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## Volunteer86

My wife is too wild so I have to stay in control lol


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

lessthennone said:


> I would say I do 90% of the work. I wish I could get her to be less selfish, but I don't know how.
> 
> Foreplay is 100% on me. She lays down on her back and I try to kiss her neck and rub the back of her head until she's able to focus. At this point, she's not yet ready to makeout. I keep going to see if she's going to be responsive. If she seems into it, I offer her oral. If she doesn't want oral, then I usually get on top or behind her. If I ask her to change positions,he gets nervous that I'll ask her to get on top. That's like a once or twice a year thing, kind of like BJ's. If I ask her for a second position swap, then she gets very impatient and starts asking why it's not working and making rude statements.. After that point, I'm usually no longer able to cum, so we give up and I'll finish off in the bathroom after she falls asleep.
> 
> It's terribly awkward. I've brought it up before. Even last week, we had sex on Monday and Tuesday. But, I tried on Thursday. We were flirting in the morning, and I thought it was a given. She walked in and said I've been wearing this lingerie all day. She flashed a boob ad then said "But I don't feel like it tonight." So I didn't immediately take no for an answer, I asked what happened, got the excuses and eventually I got a text from her implying she changed her mind. So I found her in the kitchen. We started having sex, but about 5-7 minutes in, she got impatient. She started with the comments and I was no longer turned on.


And this is a good point to bring up imho.

This seems like a very common situation from my understanding.


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## Andy1001

Blondilocks said:


> I have figured out what is missing from this thread - @Andy1001 's input.
> 
> Andy, you've been around the block a time or two so what do you think of the op's question and the sex stool?


Until a few minutes ago I didn’t know what a sex stool was. 
But now that I’ve seen the photos I realize I’ve seen them before in hotels, probably in Europe. 
I don’t think I need one anyway but you guys knock yourselves out lol. 
As far as who does most of the work I have to admit unless we’re doing oral then I do the heavy lifting. Literally. We have a lot of shower sex and I’m taller than her. 
But as work goes its not the worst job in the world.


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## Mr.Married

Andy1001 said:


> Blondilocks said:
> 
> 
> 
> I have figured out what is missing from this thread - @Andy1001 's input.
> 
> Andy, you've been around the block a time or two so what do you think of the op's question and the sex stool?
> 
> 
> 
> Until a few minutes ago I didn’t know what a sex stool was.
> But now that I’ve seen the photos I realize I’ve seen them before in hotels, probably in Europe.
> I don’t think I need one anyway but you guys knock yourselves out lol.
> As far as who does most of the work I have to admit unless we’re doing oral then I do the heavy lifting. Literally. We have a lot of shower sex and I’m taller than her.
> But as work goes its not the worst job in the world.
Click to expand...

Holy hell I could have written that word for word. Frankfurt Germany....and it never even occurred to me.

We are shower people as well. Get the floor tile heater....it’s worth it !!!


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## Andy1001

Mr.Married said:


> Holy hell I could have written that word for word. Frankfurt Germany....and it never even occurred to me.
> 
> We are shower people as well. Get the floor tile heater....it’s worth it !!!


If we’re staying in a hotel I always try to get a bathroom with wheelchair access to the shower. 
Much more room to maneuver.


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## Andy1001

Andy1001 said:


> Until a few minutes ago I didn’t know what a sex stool was.
> But now that I’ve seen the photos I realize I’ve seen them before in hotels, probably in Europe.
> I don’t think I need one anyway but you guys knock yourselves out lol.
> As far as who does most of the work I have to admit unless we’re doing oral then I do the heavy lifting. Literally. We have a lot of shower sex and I’m taller than her.
> But as work goes its not the worst job in the world.


I was staying in Orlando last week and there was a safe in the wardrobe of the house we rented. 
When we were leaving I noticed a sex stool placed discretely beside the safe.
Of course my wife asked me what it was so I told her. 
She doesn’t believe me.


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## Girl_power

Andy1001 said:


> I was staying in Orlando last week and there was a safe in the wardrobe of the house we rented.
> 
> When we were leaving I noticed a sex stool placed discretely beside the safe.
> 
> Of course my wife asked me what it was so I told her.
> 
> She doesn’t believe me.




Ew the thought of sharing other peoples sex stools is too much for me!


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## Blondilocks

Andy1001 said:


> I was staying in Orlando last week and there was a safe in the wardrobe of the house we rented.
> When we were leaving I noticed a sex stool placed discretely beside the safe.
> Of course my wife asked me what it was so I told her.
> She doesn’t believe me.


Show her that Amazon listing, Andy. She might get some ideas.

I admit I have never understood the draw of shower sex. It seems so one way.


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## CharlieParker

Andy1001 said:


> I was staying in Orlando last week and there was a safe in the wardrobe of the house we rented.
> When we were leaving I noticed a sex stool placed discretely beside the safe.
> Of course my wife asked me what it was so I told her.
> She doesn’t believe me.


So when is yours being delivered?


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## Andy1001

CharlieParker said:


> So when is yours being delivered?


You obviously don’t know much about me. 
I stole this one. 
I can’t wait for the owner to ask me have I seen his sex stool.


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## Andy1001

Blondilocks said:


> Show her that Amazon listing, Andy. She might get some ideas.
> 
> I admit I have never understood the draw of shower sex. It seems so one way.


That’s me. 
Generous to a fault.


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## ConanHub

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This was inspired by the "are u responsible for making her orgasm?" thread.
> 
> Men,
> Do you do most of the "work" when love making with your W, or ltr gf?
> 
> As men are generators (in general) of getting her "off" first, in general, oral, fingers, toys, etc as well as the "engine" behind most PIV activities, do you find;
> 
> If someone was in theory objectively observing would they say you're doing most of the physical activity, ie (kindly) "most of the work" during most of the love making sessions?


With Mrs C, yes though she does this cool wiggling thing that I'm not equipped to perform.:grin2:

Other partners varied. Some women did absolutely everything and basically just had their way with me while both our world's were rocking. Some just wanted me to do everything, which I happily did, while others gave as much as received.

Mrs. C does less but I'm massive compared to her and she just isn't capable of approaching what I can do to her.


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## SpinyNorman

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Men,
> Do you do most of the "work" when love making with your W, or ltr gf?


No, I pay one of the interns at work or some drifter to do most of it.


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## Andy1001

Many years ago when I was an apprentice, during the lunch break there was a discussion about love making. The main thing being discussed was how much of the process was work and how much was pleasure. Most of the older electricians figured it was about fifty fifty but one older guys said love making was all pleasure. 
He said “ if there was any work involved I’d get an apprentice to do it”.


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## Personal

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Men,
> Do you do most of the "work" when love making with your W, or ltr gf?


Through more than two decades, I have never made love to my wife.

That said I have always ****ed her a lot, so we do share lots of sex together.



> As men are generators (in general) of getting her "off" first, in general, oral, fingers, toys, etc as well as the "engine" behind most PIV activities, do you find;


Given that run down, do you think that women have a tendency to just lay back and think of England (a nice place sort of, even if it is often a bit wet)?

In my experience I can only think of two women, who appeared to be thinking of England and I never went back for more with them.

As to orgasms unless a man is a poor through to mediocre sexual partner, I don't understand the mantra that a woman ought to orgasm first.

If all parties play well, orgasms during sex aren't an uncommon thing. Plus there are times when it's nice for a woman (as it can be for a man) to get hers later rather than sooner. Or to instead climax at the same time. Which I find is easier to achieve by holding off from letting go until, the woman tips over into orgasm then I let her have it when I feel it through her.

That said I've always found it kind of easy to help a woman orgasm via penis in vagina sex, oral sex, fingers/hand sex all as standalone things without additional aids. I guess I am/they are lucky in that way. 

So Sometimes I orgasm first, sometimes my wife orgasms first, sometimes we both orgasm together. Although there are some occasions when one of us doesn't orgasm, or both of us don't , with interruptions or running out of time being a thing). Plus there are also times when my wife or I will have more than one orgasm while we are ****ing as well.

Going back to the idea that men do more with oral, fingers and toys and are the generators of PIV activity. I don't think it is always like that. Of which except in two instances of first sex with two different women, that has never been my experience.

I have found that women are very active participants, even when simply being vaginally or anally penetrated with a penis while lying in the missionary position.

So even during "missionary", they kiss voluptuously and fondly with gaping mouths and searching tongues. They grab hold of hair and clutch ones face to use their tongue to tickle ones ear. They grab ones behind. They roll their hips to meet each thrust with growing intensity. Their vaginas tilt and clutch while they grind their vulva towards the man searching while meeting with rhythm. They will grab ones penis and rub their clitoris with it, if you hold back and tease them too much and they really want to orgasm soon.

The only time I find a woman does less in missionary, is when they tip over into orgasm. Although that in itself is a nice feeling when a woman's vagina is pulsing, throbbing and vibrating around the penis when they lay back and ride those waves for a while. Of which I am envious of how long a woman orgasm can continue to roll for before it abates.

Same applies with a woman who is on top or in any other position really. I find there is a moment not far into penetrative sex, when you have the right position and they respond to that moment then roll and grind into each thrust as their excitement builds.

Same applies to anal sex with women who are experienced at it and enjoy it. You get the same meeting of thrusts and tilting, gripping and release along the way, followed by the same pulsing, throbbing and vibrating when they orgasm. Although the feedback around ones penis or fingers is feels more stronger via the rectum than the vagina, which is it's own reward as well since it does feel good.

Yet just as oral sex is often had by my wife and previous sexual partners, such things have always been frequently done to me as well. So any given time we play together, it will be normal for my wife to give me oral sex, prostate massage and even have her lick my anus as well, we switch up things I do stuff to her she does stuff to me and we both get so worked up that we are nothing more than lustful want animals that are satiating our carnal cravings.

Likewise if I cum in her mouth and on her face, while I do not much of anything. She will show me it in her mouth, then slowly drool it down her chin and onto her tits because I like to see her do that.

On and on etc, with great variety and shared active participation.

Which is how it has been with almost all of my sexual partners, women are very active highly sexual beings with an enormous almost insatiable lust for wanton sexual pleasure.



> If someone was in theory objectively observing would they say you're doing most of the physical activity, ie (kindly) "most of the work" during most of the love making sessions?


Well conventionally since one cannot see inside a woman vagina when just looking from the outside, someone may think I do a little more than my wife. Yet the reality is she does as much as I do, which is great since sex is more fun that way anyway.


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## Blondilocks

Well, bow chicka wow wowww! Some people have put a LOT of thought into their posts - @Personal.

Have mercy on those who are without.:grin2:


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## notmyjamie

Personal said:


> Through more than two decades, I have never made love to my wife.
> 
> That said I have always ****ed her a lot, so we do share lots of sex together.


I feel like I just watched a porno at 7:18am. :surprise: LOL


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Trying to be "tactful" in my original post has truly brought out varying views, and imho all great, and applicable. 
@Personal, man, a lot of thought went into your response, and dead on in many encounters!

As we sit on the couch reading or such, I take an opportunity now and the and I ask about best things DW likes, wants, variations, etc, and I'm saying "I'm asking just because I'm to grow, trying to realize it's not all about me" she says everytime "you know you're lying when you say you're not thinking it's all about you" and smiles.

Which is mostly true but I'm trying to expand my horizons. Kind of.

But the end results are good, she commits to things I'm thinking about and when ideas come from her she's committed and hey sometimes I learn a bit.

She and I O everytime unless she tells me she wants to give me a quickie hard and fast and I roll with that. Her call.

🥰🥰🥰


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## leftfield

SpinyNorman said:


> No, I pay one of the interns at work or some drifter to do most of it.


So you have an open relationship. Do you get to have fun with interns as well?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Andy1001 said:


> You obviously don’t know much about me.
> I stole this one.
> I can’t wait for the owner to ask me have I seen his sex stool.


 @Andy1001 

That's hilarious!!


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## SpinyNorman

leftfield said:


> So you have an open relationship. Do you get to have fun with interns as well?


I was kidding. I don't post actual stuff about my sex life.


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## Sawney Beane

It certainly feels that way. Women laying there and expecting me to not only make all the effort, but know what effort to make, seems to be the norm now. Apparently turning up with a pu$$y is as much effort as is required or can be expected.


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## Faithful Wife

Sawney Beane said:


> It certainly feels that way. Women laying there and expecting me to not only make all the effort, but know what effort to make, seems to be the norm now. Apparently turning up with a pu$$y is as much effort as is required or can be expected.


Well if you have sex with a woman like this more than once, then obviously showing up really was all she needed to do. Sorry man that’s on you.


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## Mr.Married

Faithful Wife said:


> Sawney Beane said:
> 
> 
> 
> It certainly feels that way. Women laying there and expecting me to not only make all the effort, but know what effort to make, seems to be the norm now. Apparently turning up with a pu$$y is as much effort as is required or can be expected.
> 
> 
> 
> Well if you sex with a woman like this more than once, then obviously showing up really was all she needed to do. Sorry man that’s on you.
Click to expand...

I actually burst out laughing when I read that one !!!


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## Sawney Beane

Faithful Wife said:


> Well if you have sex with a woman like this more than once, then obviously showing up really was all she needed to do. Sorry man that’s on you.


Once was enough! J.Arthur Rank is a better ROI!
:laugh:


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## Mrdubstar24

for me and my wife I have to agree I do the hard work while she lays there till she hits the high point before I am aloud to enter and hit the point if you get me wither it be my mouth or a toy I bought to help her get in the mood as she as very low drive and yea I save rest for different thread back to my point yes as a man I say I do in my marriage she dont to that start nor goes on top.


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## hilariouslaughter

SpinyNorman said:


> Ragnar Ragnasson said:
> 
> 
> 
> Men,
> Do you do most of the "work" when love making with your W, or ltr gf?
> 
> 
> 
> No, I pay one of the interns at work or some drifter to do most of it.
Click to expand...

Oh my goodness I just choked on myturkey sandwich hahaha.

I'd like to say 50/50 but I'm fairly certain my spouse exerts more because they like to be on top.

We both love it though.


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## notmyjamie

I think it depends on what kind of sex, what position, etc. I can’t speak for him but my perception is that about half the time I’m the one burning the calories...and my Apple Watch agrees with me.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Besides internet info which we all know is always true 😎😎 this independent study (if we can very, very loosely call it that😉😉) reflects it's the position that dictates who's putting out the foot-pounds.

More of missionary it's the guy.
Some of doggy, if not most doggy; guy.
Any type of man on top; guy.
Most of oral on woman; guy.

Most of women on top; woman.
Most of oral on man; woman.

Others can add or correct at will, obviously.


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## aaarghdub

Mostly me doing the foreplay and getting her close then she will tell what position she wants or asks how I want to finish. As she gets warmed up she touches or kisses me more but she’s not really into touching me... more like an 85/15 split. We’ve had a lot of sex but only twice she’s attempted to “make love” twice in 18 years and just couldn’t go through it and wanted me to take over.


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## Laurentium

Sawney Beane said:


> J.Arthur Rank is a better ROI!:laugh:


I haven;t heard that for a while!


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## RandomDude

I prefer to be completely dominant and have her just enjoy herself. I actually don't like when she takes the initiative too forwardly, rather she tease me instead.


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## cashcratebob

Probably 70/30, me to her. I take the responsibility for her first O upon myself...it's tough  . 

The best sexual experiences for us tend to be closer to 50/50 though, but those are not all the time. Generally, she wants me in control for most of our occurrences. Even when she is participating more, she isn't "dominating", as much as just choosing positions. When she has taken more control/been more directive/dominating, most of those times she be not nearly as satisfied. Which is why I am at the point where I actually more adverse to her taking control cause I know it isn't going to be great for her (aside from those nights when its all lining up) and it doesn't really change the experience for me.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Sawney Beane said:


> It certainly feels that way. Women laying there and expecting me to not only make all the effort, but know what effort to make, seems to be the norm now. Apparently turning up with a pu$$y is as much effort as is required or can be expected.


And there's a good number of women that fall into this group, it's a reality. 

And part of this group rely on this, unless relationship continues and they find out they'd like "that guy" to hang around, or is potential ltr material, than wildness and effort is added. 

As a young person and dating a lot of hot women I categorized by these actions. 

Granted, a lot of these women, I was fine treating them like arm and bed candy and all were compliant in bed, they didn't put much thought into it and that was still ok with me. They were in great shape so would be into whatever and as long as they "had their O" would get into whatever position or ride the pony like a rodeo champion. 

So showing up with a p_$$y was enough for me then. It was all about what whatever I could dream up to enjoy their bodies, that was all about me.

But all those who became part of regulars if you will had to start bringing more to the party, or would be cut.

So it is a reality that in youth all women do have to do is be willing to get nekkid. 

But even as an older youth that lost its shine. With experience comes discernment to a guy. 

Unless the next girl is so hot he doesn't mind, just one more time for another ons. It happened routinely. 

And some women won't grow in this respect and she loses some guys.


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## MaiChi

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This was inspired by the "are u responsible for making her orgasm?" thread.
> 
> Men,
> Do you do most of the "work" when love making with your W, or ltr gf?
> 
> As men are generators (in general) of getting her "off" first, in general, oral, fingers, toys, etc as well as the "engine" behind most PIV activities, do you find;
> 
> If someone was in theory objectively observing would they say you're doing most of the physical activity, ie (kindly) "most of the work" during most of the love making sessions?


I really do not think a man who did whatever the term ALL means would actually achieve the intended results, ie an orgasm for his woman, if she were just there as a body for him to experiment with.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

MaiChi said:


> I really do not think a man who did whatever the term ALL means would actually achieve the intended results, ie an orgasm for his woman, if she were just there as a body for him to experiment with.


Actually my stated "most" isn't equal to your interpretation indicating I stated "all" but I don't think that was intentional.

There are many types of encounters where the physical exertion is mostly by the male, and of course there are many where ie women on top, a women does the most for as long as that position goes on, and of course others, too.

My question is more towards the situation in some folks cases, and if care to share, does the habitual sex act falls into the pattern that yes, it's expected the male will take care of the more physical effort required, and if care to share, does that become the "most of the time yes" in their encounters?


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## aaarghdub

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> My question is more towards the situation in some folks cases, and if care to share, does the habitual sex act falls into the pattern that yes, it's expected the male will take care of the more physical effort required, and if care to share, does that become the "most of the time yes" in their encounters?



Yes because...
1) A lot of women prefer he does everything as it shows attraction
2) They have a lot of emotional load shedding to do before orgasm
3) They feel they’re in charge of everything else and don’t want to have to be in charge of sex too
4) They are uncomfortable expressing themselves sexually
5) They don’t want and prefer he just take it
6) She’s not in a “must mate with this guy” mindset
7) She abhors porn and doesn’t want to act like that 



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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Holy smokes, that's a lot of reasons!

Taken all at once, is humorously facetious but sadly a couple or few at a time are some folks true stories. 

I was thinking along the lines a woman can get onto a "lazy lover" mentality but you've contributed a lot here for general consumption.


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## MaiChi

aaarghdub said:


> Yes because...
> 1) A lot of women prefer he does everything as it shows attraction
> 2) They have a lot of emotional load shedding to do before orgasm
> 3) They feel they’re in charge of everything else and don’t want to have to be in charge of sex too
> 4) They are uncomfortable expressing themselves sexually
> 5) They don’t want and prefer he just take it
> 6) She’s not in a “must mate with this guy” mindset
> 7) She abhors porn and doesn’t want to act like that
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


Interesting situations, I would say. In my case we have the week divided into 3, 3, 1 ratio. 
3 days are his
3 days are mine
1 day is whoever wants it. 

goes back to the bonding days of the first two years of marriage when most bodily capabilities were experimented on and matters of frequency were discussed in full and settled and paragraphs entered into our marriage manifesto (now 80 plus pages long )

First of all Sunday is family day. We do not have visitors or other non-family activities from Saturday night through to Sunday night. We used to park our cars in the next street to deter impromptu visitors by making them think we were not in. Now we garage one car so it is not visible. The two little ones can feed themselves now so they go and play in their rooms. We get up late after some work before they get up. 

Both relaxed both work 

my 3 days, I lead, I work but can hand over the work by simply choosing a position that hands over, I decide whether or not to do anything on those days with the proviso that if he wants to we do. 
His three days he leads, he works but can hand over, he decides whether or not to do anything but I can ask if he seems slow and I want to. 

If we were to change and wait for him all the time, both of know that I would be the loser in that as he can last longer without than I can. 

I think it is all to do with each couple's particular situation. I think there is a lot of assumptions (based of 1940s sociology) on what women think and reality may not have anything to do with anything. Maybe in my 40s I will change. Who knows. I hope not


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