# Please help. Just don't know what to do with life



## unhappywithlife (Aug 5, 2008)

I don't know where to start but here is abt my life:

I got married 6 months back. I am just so frustated with him becuase all the time he thinks about sex. Most of the time when we are together, he just want physical relation.
I tried to talk to him that i can't take it because i feel you just need sex. He says that i just talk bookish and in practical its not possible. He needs sex everyday. If some day i avoid it, he just get so frustrate and start banging doors and acts weird. 

Its about my first night: ( i know its always personal but there is nothing good abt my first night) What a person expects in first night? Be romantic, talk to other person with love, touch gently and then comes other things. He didn't talk to me at all. he straightway wanted sex...when he couldn't do it, he just didn't sleep for whole night and he was so frustrated. 

Today is my birthday and he doesn't even remember my birthday. First birthday after marriage
and i never even got any gift from him till today..

I don't know what to do with life...and he is verbally and physically abusive but he says sorry after that and he just keep saying that he loves me so much and can't live without me..I am just so confused if its his love or he just need sex? I am just so quiet now a days and i feel m dying inside.
I don't know what to do..please help.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

when you say he is physically abusive does he hit you? Push you?


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## unhappywithlife (Aug 5, 2008)

Yes he does hit me.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Don’t hesitate. Leave the relationship and get away from him. There may be hope if he gets counseling but at this time you need to leave or the violence will just continue or possibly escalate. There is no good reason to stay in a physically abusive relationship.


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## Mrs. Negestie (Jul 15, 2008)

unhappywithlife said:


> Yes he does hit me.


If you say that he does hit you then there is no question in just GETTING OUT THE RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW!! Or maybe you are waiting for that day when your bones are broken?


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## babyblues7 (Aug 28, 2007)

Please leave him. His behavior is very odd!! You deserve more. Dont become the battered wife and risk losing yourself or your life. He is not interested in having a real marriage but getting what he can out of you. Dont let someone treat you that way, you seem like such a nice person. Stay with some family for awhile until you can get on your feet. But please dont risk it staying there another day!!


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## hooverphonic (Sep 28, 2008)

No question, you must leave this relationship. Sex problems can typically be worked out but violence is unacceptable. In the future it won't be just you, it could be your child getting abused. Play it smart though. Tell someone you trust, i.e. a friend or relative then make a plan to leave. Have this person you trust with you when you gather important personal items and clothes from home in case he comes home. Do not let your husband know where you are going. If you don't have someone you trust, contact your local police department. They can accompany you while you gather your things and direct you to local support services. Good luck and please don't hesitate to leave.


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

Do you live in the United States? If so, there are plenty of organizations that can help you leave and start anew. 

What was it like for you when you were growing up? Was there abuse?

Never let anyone put their hands on you. Today it's a grab of the arm. Tomorrow it escalates into punches, or even more.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

unhappywithlife said:


> Its about my first night: ( i know its always personal but there is nothing good abt my first night) What a person expects in first night? Be romantic, talk to other person with love, touch gently and then comes other things. He didn't talk to me at all. he straightway wanted sex...when he couldn't do it, he just didn't sleep for whole night and he was so frustrated.


I agree with the others that you should leave him, or at the very least insist you separate while he goes on an anger management course. However, I am curious about the quote above. What actually happened? What do yo mean when you said "when he couldn't do it"?


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## peanut (Aug 4, 2009)

Leave him. Your life is more important. He can really hurt you.
Find a safe place away from him. Definately agree with MarkTwain on the anger management course.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I agree with the other posters. The sex may also serve as a control thing for him indicative of physical abusers.


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## woe_is_me (Aug 12, 2009)

oh gosh. leave. that is not a safe relationship. they safe they will stop and never do. it just seems like it affects them less when they do it again. the first time my ex hit me he promised he would never do it again and was so sorry. a year later he was still doing it and showed no remorse at all. he didnt get better, he got worse. unless they get counseling and are actually trying to get help i dont think they will ever change.


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Why did you marry someone like this??


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Sounds like the man never heard the word NO.... I'd sure teach it to him if I were you.
I'd beat his butt like a child too if he didn't get it... but thats me.


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## Harvard (Aug 11, 2009)

you said he "does" hit you. The reader "me" takes this as hits you on more than one occassion....is this true and for how long?

If yes, you are just a piece of ass in his mind and does not respect you. You can stop getting abused anytime time now!


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## Catholic_RN (Aug 10, 2009)

Do you have family you can stay with for a while and think things through?


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## prettyinpink05 (Nov 1, 2008)

OMG....That really sound like I'm reading a book about myself the only thing is that my husband and I have been married for 9yrs now but we been together for 14yrs and yes it's very easy for someone to tell another person to leave but what if you have children and they just tell you all the time if you eva leave that I will hurt you, so you stay and sometime you stay for the children because it's not there fault so what do you tell that person.......I understand what your going through and I fell like I'm very unhappy with life also.


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## nancy.moore16 (Aug 16, 2009)

I feel that both of you need to give some space between you both 
and try to go for a counselling and try to fulfil your husband's needs and then try to talk to him when you are co-operating with him may be he might listen to your words, and you dont have to feel bad about your husband, after all men are men and it is ok as long as he loves only you


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## variety (Sep 6, 2009)

Stay calm. Until you do leave, get other people into your house.
Invite a relative to come and stay at the house - like his mother/sister.....
Talk to your neighbours and get to know them - they don't have to know the details but it may be helpful to know them......
Then sort out important things you would need to take with you, practical things ......


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