# NoFap Journal



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Having been a committed and enthusiastic masturbator for more than half of my life I have decided to go 'hands-free' for a month. 

This is not because of some superstition masquerading as religious morality, nor because I believe that there are negative physical effects caused by moderate masturbation, but just because I want to alter my sexual experience for the next month or so and see where it takes me (us).

Some background: I am in my early forties, married and I have three children, one of whom is less than a year old. Our sex life is good, varied and has taken on a great psychological aspect over the last couple of years. Having said that I do tend to suffer from retarded ejaculation at times, hence the ID, so I will be interested to see if this new regime has any effect. It hasn't yet.

I have gone one week so far and the effects are already starting to show. Last night's sex had to be aborted pre-ejaculation due to a waking baby, so the temptation to deal with myself today is the hardest it has been so far. Writing this post is partly an effort to stop myself from caving in and hitting the Internet porn. 

The last couple of days I have noticed that I am feeling more aggressive and I am noticing attractive women in the street more than usual. I am thinking about sex more, talking about it more and reading about it more. 

As for the aggression this has mostly manifested itself in road-rage and a general 'come and f*?cking try it' feeling that I haven't felt for many years. I feel, though this is just speculation, that my testosterone levels are up. My wife agrees. Just to be clear I am not acting on my aggression, but it is harder not to jump out of the car and head butt the boy racer in a stupid, pimped-out Fiat Punto that just cut me up. 

Sexually I feel more dominant, whereas I usually like to switch between dominant and submissive I find myself preferring dominant play and dominant positions. Whereas I would normally be focussed on my wife's pleasure I am focussing on my own, which paradoxically (or not) seems to have increased my wife's enjoyment. 

I will continue to update this thread and welcome any comments and posts of others' experiences of this experiment.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Are the hairs on your palms receding yet?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> Are the hairs on your palms receding yet?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My sight is coming back. Those women wandering around in tiny shorts are suddenly in sharp focus.


----------



## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

Are you giving up ALL masturbation (edging)? Howabout porn?

After not masturbating since late July, I broke my streak yesterday. Just an edge though, so you may or may not count that. I tried to avoid porn too, but fell back into it after about 10 days.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I tried it a few times over the years.

I think the longest I made it was just short of a week.

Remember the Seinfield episode where they all bet on who would be the first to break down and jack off? Pretty funny.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

jorgegene said:


> I tried it a few times over the years.
> 
> I think the longest I made it was just short of a week.
> 
> Remember the Seinfield episode where they all bet on who would be the first to break down and jack off? Pretty funny.


It is tough today. My wife thinks I won't last, but I am determined. We'll see.

I have never seen that episode, Seinfeld was not that big over this side of the pond, but I will look it up.


----------



## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> It is tough today. My wife thinks I won't last, but I am determined. We'll see.
> 
> I have never seen that episode, Seinfeld was not that big over this side of the pond, but I will look it up.


The best part of the episode was that it was all done through innuendo. They were "Master of their Domain."


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Yikes, I wouldn't last a month! I'd turn into a stark raving B!TCH! And the reality is, I'm not that far from that in the first place.

But how has this affected your sex life with your wife? Is sex more intense?


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

How often do you and your wife have sex?

During the four years my ex wife and I were sexless, I regularly took care of myself, but now, my wife and I have sex 10-15 times a week, and so I haven't done that is over two years.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

samyeagar said:


> my wife and I have sex 10-15 times a week, and so I haven't done that is over two years.


Hahaha. You said a _week_, when you obviously mean a _month_. 

We are on two or three times a week. Not bad considering the family commitments.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Anon Pink said:


> Yikes, I wouldn't last a month! I'd turn into a stark raving B!TCH! And the reality is, I'm not that far from that in the first place.
> 
> But how has this affected your sex life with your wife? Is sex more intense?


Yes, it is a little more intense. Harder and more urgent, which she digs on.


----------



## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> Hahaha. You said a _week_, when you obviously mean a _month_.
> 
> We are on two or three times a week. Not bad considering the family commitments.


Having seen his other posts, I'm pretty sure he meant a week.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

I was thankful to go thru 18 years straight without having to handle my own penis other than to urinate. My penis was handled by my women at the time, and almost as often as I wanted.

Masterbation is not even close to any of the real sex acts.

Your expirament should turn out interesting, I'd cut out masturbation and focus my imagination on the lady in my life. Put all your energy and attention there and the sex will get better, plus your control of your stallion will get better to.

Going several days with abstaining from ejaculation will build up your focus and energy.


Having actual sexual conjugations instead of masturbation builds up esteem and feelings of self. It's great.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

johnnycomelately said:


> Hahaha. You said a _week_, when you obviously mean a _month_.
> 
> We are on two or three times a week. Not bad considering the family commitments.


He might mean weak. As in 1.5 to 2 times per day, more than once a day on most days and almost every single day without fail. Some people have it like that.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

johnnycomelately said:


> Hahaha. You said a _week_, when you obviously mean a _month_.
> 
> We are on two or three times a week. Not bad considering the family commitments.


Oh, I meant week. That's the best compromise she and I could come up with otherwise I wouldn't be going to work because she wouldn't let me


----------



## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

It would be rather hard thing to do for most of us. Congrats for trying. With me its so exhausting the next day ,I am spent for the most part of the day. I guess we get a little rough on ourself while doing it. At times the orgasm is so intense it just knocks me out. One of my Favorites is edging and not coming then I 'am so full of energy all day. Good luck and keep us posted. But always remember " If at night you can't sleep, Pull down the covers and beat your meat."


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Oh, I meant week. That's the best compromise she and I could come up with otherwise I wouldn't be going to work because she wouldn't let me


You ditched a sexless LD situation and got with this situation?

:smthumbup:


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

treyvion said:


> You ditched a sexless LD situation and got with this situation?
> 
> :smthumbup:


My ex wife was extremely high drive as well, which is typical for people with NPD. The reasons we were sexless were not the typical ones seen here. The first woman I slept with was also extreme drive, so in my limited experience in number of partners, extreme drive is my norm.

When my wife I and were getting to know each other, before we were dating, we were both pretty much on the same page in that we needed sex about three times a week to be satisfied. In the over two years we have been together, we have not had a single week anywhere near only three times, and the longest we have gone without is two days. About six months in, I started to wonder if I hadn't run into some kind of reverse bait and switch, but here we are, more than two years in, married, and things just continue to get better and more intense.


----------



## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

The timing of this post is amazing i'm starting my 60 day nofap today just to see what all the fuss is about.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

xakulax said:


> The timing of this post is amazing i'm starting my 60 day nofap today just to see what all the fuss is about.


Ha, ha! Maybe the new trend of the sexless and masturbationless!


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> samyeagar said:
> 
> 
> > my wife and I have sex 10-15 times a week, and so I haven't done that is over two years.
> ...


That frequency is certainly possible and not unheard of for some. 

My wife and I don't do it that frequently, yet when we do, we match the pattern that makes it possible. Since we tend to do it twice a day on the days we play and on occasion when we meet for lunch we will do it three times a day.

So our frequency tends to be between 5-7 times a week spread over 3 to 5 days of activity. We do sometimes play more than 7 times a week though, yet that tends to happen for one week among four or five.

So I am not surprised by samyeager's frequency at all.

P.S. We both work and on occasion have to travel for it, while we live far from any relatives and or good friends and are raising two school aged children as well.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Tough night. It has been more than five days since I ejaculated, which is probably a record for me. Last night I was painfully erect and dreaming of an ex-girlfriend. When I suggested my wife help me out, she laughed. A luta continua!


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

johnnycomelately said:


> Tough night. It has been more than five days since I ejaculated, which is probably a record for me. Last night I was painfully erect and dreaming of an ex-girlfriend. When I suggested my wife help me out, she laughed. A luta continua!



Hmmm...and you and your wife haven't had sex in more than five days?


----------



## NorCalMan (Dec 14, 2011)

The first week or so is the toughest. Habits take time to break - I found that focusing on my wifes pleasure instead of my own was key. Stay away from any porn ... PMO will only cause you trouble in the long run ... Good Luck!


----------



## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

Good luck to you. A few years ago I had a frenuloplasty and was warned no sexual activity for at least two weeks (preferably more especially for intercourse) while I healed, I was only to draw the turtleneck back to clean and apply an ointment and then leave it alone.

I'd tried my damnedest to thoroughly empty the tanks before the operation but unfortunately HD came back to bite me and eventually I was unable to think of anything but Veruca James' lovely pinky-white butt and the mere act of the cleansing procedure above would give me a raging (and painful) erection. In the end I caved, too soon, and there was some blood but luckily I didn't do any damage. It was stupid but I was going (blue) nuts.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

NorCalMan said:


> The first week or so is the toughest. Habits take time to break - I found that focusing on my wifes pleasure instead of my own was key. Stay away from any porn ... PMO will only cause you trouble in the long run ... Good Luck!


Wife's pleasure is blissful sleep at the moment. The baby is doing his damndest to prevent any more siblings.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Day seven with no ejaculation.

I was woken up by my erection again last night. No opportunity for sex has presented itself yet. This morning I am feeling self-pitying and cranky.

I had no idea that there was such a big NoFap movement happening out there. There is a lot of neo-Victorian quackery going on with people reporting the wildest effects (usually positive) of holding on to your semen, like being more 'articulate' and 'artistic' Many are taking it to extremes, going months and even years without ejaculating. There is also some interesting research, as below from a Chinese University:










It seems that seven days is optimum. This begs the question as to why most men seem to prefer a frequency of at least 2 to 3 times per week.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

johnnycomelately said:


> Day seven with no ejaculation.
> 
> I was woken up by my erection again last night. No opportunity for sex has presented itself yet. This morning I am feeling self-pitying and cranky.
> 
> ...


Ummm...because sex with a real live woman is awesome?


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

samyeagar said:


> Ummm...because sex with a real live woman is awesome?


It just seems odd that there is such a mismatch between optimum as far as testosterone is concerned and optimum as far as average taste is concerned. I suppose the T just ramps up to try and get you to do the dirty deed, but has to drop off because of the negative effects. Whatever if I don't get some action tonight my penis is going to explode.


----------



## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

My testosterone must be non existent. My balls stay empty.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

She got her period, the first time in 18 months (after pregnancy). I can almost hear the gods of the male orgasm laughing.

My erection didn't wake me up last night and I didn't have any sexual dreams. I think my T levels are going back to normal.

I am starting to wonder whether I will eventually have a wet dream if I don't get release any other way. That would be novel, I haven't had one since I was in my teens.


----------



## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> I am starting to wonder whether I will eventually have a wet dream if I don't get release any other way. That would be novel, I haven't had one since I was in my teens.


I think it's fairly common, as the pipes need to clean themselves.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Will follow this 'NoFap' (whatever that is) journal with riveting anticipation as to the outcome (pun intended).


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

maybe you should change your user name.........johnynocum!


----------



## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> maybe you should change your user name.........johnynocum!


I chuckled out loud reading this haaaaa


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> maybe you should change your user name.........johnynocum!


Or johnnynotcomeforf?*ckingever


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

jorgegene said:


> Will follow this 'NoFap' (whatever that is) journal with riveting anticipation as to the outcome (pun intended).


Fap is onomatopoeic term for masturbation - as in fap, fap, fap...you get the picture.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Day nine (I think) and my balls are aching. I seem to be losing interest in sex, in contrast to the first few days when I could think of nothing else. 

My wife is starting to worry that this is bad for my health, and part of my brain keeps telling me she is right and that I need to get monkey-spanking before I die as a miserable and sexually unfulfilled forty-something year-old. That is the same part of my brain that tells me I am not really overweight and that it would be better to wait until next week to give up smoking, so I am going to ignore it.

I am hoping tonight is going to bring a wet dream, hopefully featuring the neighbour, who I keep seeing at the pool, begging me to do what I will to her. 

I am going to run through that scenario in my head just before I go to sleep and see what happens. I will let you know. My only fear is that I will come all over my wife and she will demand I give up this silly experiment.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

johnnycomelately said:


> Day nine (I think) and my balls are aching. I seem to be losing interest in sex, in contrast to the first few days when I could think of nothing else.
> 
> My wife is starting to worry that this is bad for my health, and part of my brain keeps telling me she is right and that I need to get monkey-spanking before I die as a miserable and sexually unfulfilled forty-something year-old. That is the same part of my brain that tells me I am not really overweight and that it would be better to wait until next week to give up smoking, so I am going to ignore it.
> 
> ...


johnnystickysheets.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> johnnystickysheets.


Johnsoncumlater.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

johnnycomelately said:


> Day nine (I think) and my balls are aching. I seem to be losing interest in sex, in contrast to the first few days when I could think of nothing else.
> 
> My wife is starting to worry that this is bad for my health, and part of my brain keeps telling me she is right and that I need to get monkey-spanking before I die as a miserable and sexually unfulfilled forty-something year-old. That is the same part of my brain that tells me I am not really overweight and that it would be better to wait until next week to give up smoking, so I am going to ignore it.
> 
> ...


Have you seen a doctor? There are medications for this that are less torturous than what you are doing.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Have you seen a doctor? There are medications for this that are less torturous than what you are doing.


There is a certain masochistic pleasure in it. I am not a big believer in the magical powers of hanging on to your 'man-juice' as many in the 'NoFap' movement seem to be, but I am interested in seeing what the effects are medium-term.

No wet dreams last night. Only anxiety dreams about our baby crying and me not being able to reach him. Turns out the baby _was_ crying.


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I don't get it. Why don't you just have sex? If your wife is worried about your health, why doesn't she just have sex with you?


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Lyris said:


> I don't get it. Why don't you just have sex? If your wife is worried about your health, why doesn't she just have sex with you?


Nasty coincidence of restless baby, visiting nephews (in the room next door) and her period coming back after pregnancy. My timing was awful. I am sure that the opportunity will present itself soon...and it will probably be over before it begins.


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Ok...but why is her period stopping you? Even oral?


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Lyris said:


> Ok...but why is her period stopping you? Even oral?


Exactly having a period need not put the breaks on, and Lyris is right about oral. You can go down on your wife and bring her to orgasm orally without having to taste blood.

That said, I don't understand why you are doing what you are doing unless you're trying to be more than celibate.


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I meant more oral for him, if she was too crampy and uncomfortable, but yes the other way too, why not. Orgasms are the best pain relief.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Got it, and yes oral for him would be nice as well.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Personal said:


> Got it, and yes oral for him would be nice as well.


I have only come through oral once in my life. I wonder whether or not this will make it more likely.


----------



## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> I have only come through oral once in my life. I wonder whether or not this will make it more likely.


Haha! Yeah, you'd be lucky to last ten seconds in your state!


----------



## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

Personal said:


> Exactly having a period need not put the breaks on, and Lyris is right about oral. You can go down on your wife and bring her to orgasm orally without having to taste blood.


My wife won't let me anywhere near the spot while she's on her cycle. It's like pulling teeth just to use a vibe on her while she's finishing up her period. She views it as dirty, and I've given up trying to convince her that it's not and that I don't mind.


----------



## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> I have only come through oral once in my life. I wonder whether or not this will make it more likely.



considering how long you've gone without any physical contact down there I would say yeah probably 




PS: Nofap day 5 i'm a walking talking red bull lol


----------



## almetcalf (Jul 16, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> Having been a committed and enthusiastic masturbator for more than half of my life I have decided to go 'hands-free' for a month.


Only half?!? I been doing it my whole life. Came out that way I think. But I too have recently decided to quit. Not for just one month, but hopefully for good.



> The last couple of days I have noticed that I am feeling more aggressive and I am noticing attractive women in the street more than usual. I am thinking about sex more, talking about it more and reading about it more.
> 
> As for the aggression this has mostly manifested itself in road-rage and a general 'come and f*?cking try it' feeling that I haven't felt for many years.


SAME HERE! :banghead: Not the road rage, but just an overall more kick-ass type attitude! As a matter of fact I feel like punching this f&*#ing computer screen right NOW! 
And I am reading a book written in the Victorian era about sex. Very enlightening actually.



> Sexually I feel more dominant, whereas I usually like to switch between dominant and submissive I find myself preferring dominant play and dominant positions. Whereas I would normally be focussed on my wife's pleasure I am focussing on my own, which paradoxically (or not) seems to have increased my wife's enjoyment.
> 
> I will continue to update this thread and welcome any comments and posts of others' experiences of this experiment.


Me too, this is a very interesting experiment. I don't know if I can stay with it, but if I do the girls better be on their guard :FIREdevil:


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Ok, it finally happened last night. Oral was the same as ever, I still can't come even though I enjoy it. My wife demanded penetration so we ended up doing anal. Ejaculation was not pleasurable and was mildly painful. 

Today I am not interested in sex, which for me is unusual. I would say that more than a week is not to be recommended.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Horny as can be again, confirming the 5 - 7 day testosterone cycle, and really struggling not to take care of myself. I am having strange erotic dreams, with no nudity or penetration, and I feel like I am building to a wet dream. Last night I dreamed that one of my wife's best friends was sucking my fingers and I almost shot my bolt. 

I am not sure why I am not dreaming of actual sex. I find myself daydreaming about sex and the content of my fantasies has become more dominant. I used to fantasise a lot about masochistic, submissive sex acts, like cuckold fantasies and being whipped, but now I am thinking about vanilla sex with me playing the dominant role. I see this as a downside, because my fantasies used to be varied and interesting and have now become prosaic and commonplace. 

I used to fantasise more about women my own age (milfs) but I have found my thoughts shifting to 20-somethings. I am not sure whether this is just an effect of higher testosterone, or I am just using this to justify myself. 

Before this experiment I felt that sex with much younger women (I am 42) was immoral, as it seems exploitative, but now there is a voice inside my head telling me it is just right and natural. I am starting to wonder how much our moral principles can be affected by our hormone levels. Does testosterone make us behave badly? Or is that just moral weakness masquerading as biological determinism? 

I wake up with a raging, pleasurably-painful hard-on each morning and when I have a siesta. I am not feeling as aggressive as the first week, but feeling more confident and outgoing. 

Sex has dried up almost completely thanks to sharing a bed with the baby and having five guests packed into the apartment. I almost cracked today and had a peek at some pics of naked women, but I am determined not to look at real porn or give up on the no-masturbation yet. I am more than half-way through the month.

Has anybody experienced any negative effects?


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Are you still on a NOFAP journey, and if so, what is your current goal?
(as far as NOFAP?)

What is boosting your T levels, NOFAP?


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

jorgegene said:


> Are you still on a NOFAP journey, and if so, what is your current goal?
> (as far as NOFAP?)
> 
> What is boosting your T levels, NOFAP?


I am aiming for a month. Yes, I believe that my T levels rise on a weekly cycle and then fall back to normal.


----------



## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

So far I'm 10 days out of my 60 day nofap and the only negative side effects I've notice have been increased aggression, really hard erection , and dip in my sexual standards women that turned me off once now don't


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

xakulax said:


> So far I'm 10 days out of my 60 day nofap and the only negative side effects I've notice have been increased aggression, really hard erection , and dip in my sexual standards women that turned me off once now don't


soldier on! (keep us posted)


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

xakulax said:


> So far I'm 10 days out of my 60 day nofap and the only negative side effects I've notice have been increased aggression, really hard erection , and dip in my sexual standards women that turned me off once now don't


Yes, I am there too. Good luck, 60 days is ambitious. Are you having sex?


----------



## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> Yes, I am there too. Good luck, 60 days is ambitious. Are you having sex?



Yes. I'm going 60 days no porn and masturbation actual sex is a go the only catch is I'm single so if I don't find a girl in that 60 days I'm pretty much going feast or famine...



*What I've noticed so far in terms of positive side effects*


Increased energy 


I'm Way more outgoing now 


I'm averaging close to 40 minutes exercise a day before nofap I be lucky to do 20 min.


My sleep has gotten better normally takes me about an hour to fall asleep now maybe 10 minutes 


My confidence level has skyrocketed


----------

