# Ex helps out



## Mrlonelyhearts (Apr 12, 2012)

I was shocked yesterday and blessed. My ex was coming over to my place as planned. She was bringing my daughter's pets. I am watching them while my ex and our kids go off on vacation.

I was working on my car replacing rear brake pads. I got to a spot where I needed to go back to the parts store---passenger caliper was shot. I could not get to the shop as my car was tore apart. My ex ended up spending the day driving me back and forth to the parts store. It was 9 pm by the time I got the car working again. I am blessed cause she did not have to help me--I gave her some gas money.

So, I wonder in my mind, is this just a time she had compassion on my situation.  I probably should not read too much into this.:scratchhead:


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Mrlonelyhearts said:


> I was shocked yesterday and blessed. My ex was coming over to my place as planned. She was bringing my daughter's pets. I am watching them while my ex and our kids go off on vacation.
> 
> I was working on my car replacing rear brake pads. I got to a spot where I needed to go back to the parts store---passenger caliper was shot. I could not get to the shop as my car was tore apart. My ex ended up spending the day driving me back and forth to the parts store. It was 9 pm by the time I got the car working again. I am blessed cause she did not have to help me--I gave her some gas money.
> 
> So, I wonder in my mind, is this just a time she had compassion on my situation. I probably should not read too much into this.:scratchhead:


I don't know your story but do not read much into it, if she wants something out of this, time will tell.


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## kezins (Aug 25, 2013)

Sometimes people help just to help. I wouldn't read far into it. Maybe she just decided to be nice. Nothing wrong with that.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

I would tell you to be careful. My ex has said and done things over the past 16 months since Dday that have left me wondering what she might be up to. Things that tell me that maybe I'm on her mind and she regrets her decision to leave.

But I don't take the bait. That's just more potential for heartache. You need a lot more than her helping you like she did. Might just be her feeling guilty. Play it cool.


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## Willowfin (Jan 2, 2012)

My ex and I are like this - he is my 'go to guy' on everything and he says I'm his best friend...... in two years there hasn't been anyone else for either of us. So wait and see - time will tell. 
If nothing else - it's good for kids to see their parents getting along.


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## Mrlonelyhearts (Apr 12, 2012)

Willowfin said:


> If nothing else - it's good for kids to see their parents getting along.


I think it's cool that you and your ex are being friends and supporting one another. 

I think it is good to for our kids to see us getting along. I only worry if they start expecting more than that. I would hate to see them disappointed--again. However, I have not promised them anything.



maincourse99 said:


> But I don't take the bait. That's just more potential for heartache. You need a lot more than her helping you like she did. Might just be her feeling guilty. Play it cool.


I completely agree. :iagree:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Good to know you and your ex get along and don't hate eachother. Very mature and healthy.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

I have to agree with Maincourse, my ex was always around, doing things for me. In fact, even though I have told him not to, he still does it if he gets a chance. It's so hard for me, seeing him act like my husband when he is not. Too confusing for me.


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## jay_gatsby (Jun 4, 2013)

stillhoping said:


> I have to agree with Maincourse, my ex was always around, doing things for me. In fact, even though I have told him not to, he still does it if he gets a chance. It's so hard for me, seeing him act like my husband when he is not. Too confusing for me.


Maybe you should not still be hoping for something more than what he is giving you. Is being friends possible in your mind?


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

No,it isn't, how could I ever trust him as a friend. He broke my heart after almost 30 years together. It probably is time to change my name here, I am not hoping for reconciliation anymore, just for peace of mind.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

That seems so negative and I have been thinking about it since I posted. I love him, but I am hurt and angry. There is a part of me that does still hope, but I also know how unrealistic that is. He has a girlfriend, hasn't talked to me about getting back together or even having any doubt in more than a year. To be fair to him, other than him not respecting the boundaries around the home we used to share, he has been perfectly consistent. I finally stopped letting him come by, our kids are adults so there is really no need. Problem solved. We both moved our son into his new college apartment this weekend, he came, helped with te move and left. I know he is fine with seeing me, would like us to be friends. I just can't, I know what future heartache is coming for me. Meeting the girlfriend, sharing grandchildren with them, being introduced separately at the weddings, you get the picture. I am selling our home, alone. Buying a new one, on my own. There are good things about that, but I did not plan to be 55 and alone. So, I enjoy what I can, stayed for dinner with my son, keep a gratitude journal and look forward to my work and new adventures. I'm still hoping for a future with a loving partner but in the meantime, I am working on being content with myself.


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