# Wasn't prepared for the Lifetime Movie I call my life



## livininafog (Nov 16, 2015)

My husband and I were married 14 years together 19 total. He always had a problem with depression that at one point stemmed to drug use. He beat the drug use, was a hard road for sure. We had to sell our house to cover the cost of treatment and moved 100 miles from our home so he could be free from old temptations. He never got over the depression. A lot of times over the course of the years I have wanted to leave, his depression was overwhelming. I thought what a cruel person I would be if I left when my husband needed me the most. Isn't that what marriage is? Better or worse. So year after year I missed out on time with friends and family dealing with his issues. I put him through school so he could find something that made him happy. He became a message therapist and began to change. Long story short he began to fool around not only with co workers but clients as well. He ended up picking up his drug problem where he left off. When the fact that our marriage was deteriorating I went to stay with my parents to try and sort it all out. Anyone who has been cheated on knows that feeling of being used, betrayed, and lost. I was using my husbands tablet one day and remembered his email account was synced with it. I don't know what possessed me but I checked his sent mail. Even as I right this now it's hard to believe this really happened to me. I found multiple Craig's List responses for dates. Not with women but with men! Details of what he was looking for and what he was willing to do. Descriptions and pictures of his body. I think I was delirious. I started laughing uncontrollably. My husband denied it at first but I showed him copies of is emails. We separated for months after that but I still had questions. Bottom line he says he's not gay and while I was at home weeping he ended up getting together with the girl at super cuts and now he's having a baby. This whole strange experience has happened in less then a year. My husband and his new girlfriend live in my house! I spend my days wondering what did I do to deserve this. He says he's clean now and he's sorry but he can't change the past and I need to move on. The girl is younger and she just through in my face yesterday she has the life with him that I wanted. This time last year I was getting ready to have Thanksgiving. I thought we were happy. This year I'm sitting on the sidelines watching him live life with a new woman expecting a baby. I live on the fringe of everyone else's life because mine is gone. Lonely yes, my friend is gone. I feel like a martian on another planet.


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## FlaGirl (Nov 10, 2015)

I'm so sorry for your pain and loss. You did not deserve any of this! Cry often, and then pick yourself up and live the life you want and need and the one you couldn't have when you were "fixing" him and supporting his growth. I hope you find happiness within and don't let this lieftime story remain your story for a lifetime. He's living his life, and you should do the same.
You may never know the "why" of it all and now is the time to turn your focus away from what yo can not change and put time and effort into yourself. Reach out to friends, family, hobbies,whatever it takes to get the focus back on you. There are good men out there and you will find one someday if you want and when you are ready.


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