# pawned wedding ring



## 2under1roof (Aug 15, 2014)

Is it Ok to pawn my engagement ring without my husbands knowledge.


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## TruthHunter (Jul 15, 2014)

No.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

No.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Do you want to stay married to him? Why are you thinking of pawning it?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2under1roof (Aug 15, 2014)

He isn't giving me any money. That's why I need to pawn it.


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## 2under1roof (Aug 15, 2014)

If he isn't giving me any money is it OK to pawn the ring. He will never know, and I need money.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

you will need to explain more. He is not giving you money to eat? money to feed your children? 

Or you want money for a new pair of shoes?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Okay, I'll bite. Why does he need to give you money? What happens the next time you need money, pawn the wedding ring?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

2under1roof said:


> He isn't giving me any money. That's why I need to pawn it.


Maybe you could do something less drastic like, you know, get a job.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As others have said... Why should he "give" you money? And as I asked before, do you want to stay married to him?

As far as him not finding out, don't kid yourself. And where will you get the money to get it out of hock? You realize they'll only give you a fraction of it's value, right?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

NO.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Sigh. I feel baited here. 

No it is not ok. 

My wife some years back sold my entire record collection for 30 dollars. It was not a trivial collection. She never asked me. I will never forget that. That is a whole other thread. But I would never sell anything of hers without talking to her.

But you are trickle truthing us here at a minimum.

Also you open the door on so many others things. Like is it ok to do anything in a marriage as long as you do not get caught? Is your husband being abusive in this manner by not giving you money. How is the family income divided? Do you have children? What specifically are you needing money for?

Essentially you have told us next to nothing. If you are addict this matters as well.

How about you give us some background context here.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

2under1roof said:


> Is it Ok to pawn my engagement ring without my husbands knowledge.


if you are in this dire of straights with the man, there is a lot more to the story.. what is your situation... SAHM , kids? Is he abusing your needs.. taking care of himself , and letting you fend for yourself ?

Are you ABLE to get a job / have an extra car / kids be taken care of, or work around his schedule to bring more money in?

If you pawn this now.. what later? It's a temporary fix .


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## ILoveSparkles (Oct 28, 2013)

2under1roof said:


> If he isn't giving me any money is it OK to pawn the ring. He will never know, and I need money.


We need more details. What is the status of your marriage? What do you need money for? etc.

How would he never know if you pawned your wedding ring? What is your wedding ring? No matter what it is, you won't get near the purchase price - like MAYBE half if it's an extraordinary ring, even if it has diamonds.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

2under1roof said:


> Is it Ok to pawn my engagement ring without my husbands knowledge.


We need more info.

How would he not know that you pawned your wedding ring? Are you not living together? Do you plan on lying to him?

Why won't he give you any money?

Why don't you have a job?

How much is the ring worth?

Are you aware that you will be lucky to get 10 cents on the dollar if you pawn it. So if the ring is worth $1,000 you might get $100.

A few years ago a friend of mine who was divorced asked me to go pawn her engagement/wedding ring. It was appraised at $10,000. I went to several pawn shops. They all offered about $100 for the ring. I even showed them the appraisal done by a jeweler in town who is known for good, valid appraisals. The pawn shop owners did not care.

I ended buy buying the ring off her for more than the pawn shop offered. Nice stone. 

Bottom line is that you will not get squat for that ring.


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## 2under1roof (Aug 15, 2014)

He isn't giving me money because he is upset with me. I destroyed his credit, and stole money from him. Our relationship is pretty bad and was wondering what I can do.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

2under1roof said:


> He isn't giving me money because he is upset with me. I destroyed his credit, and stole money from him. Our relationship is pretty bad and was wondering what I can do.


Pawning your ring is only going to make things worse. So if you want your marriage to be over, go ahead. And like many of us have said, you'll get a pittance for it. Likely not enough to make any difference. 

Why don't you have money of your own? I'm not judging, just trying to get some facts. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Sorry, but I feel like you're baiting us with a bogus question. Your husband won't find out? Are you kidding us? Do you have a job? What would you use the money for? The only person I knew who pawned an engagement ring while married to the man who gave it to her ended up losing the ring, the marriage and her freedom. She went to jail for drugs. 

If you are legit and not teasing us you need to make a plan to become more independent. Is your husband withholding money to try to motivate you to get a job? So many unanswered questions about your situation... We can't help you much without solid info.


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## ILoveSparkles (Oct 28, 2013)

2under1roof said:


> He isn't giving me money because he is upset with me. I destroyed his credit, and stole money from him. Our relationship is pretty bad and was wondering what I can do.


Wait....you destroyed his credit, and stole money?? I wouldn't give you money either, hell I'd be hard pressed to still be married to you. What made you do this? Is this for real?

What did you do to destroy his credit and steal money? What was so important?


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Pawn the ring and use the money to file for divorce, show your husband an act of kindness.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

2under1roof said:


> He isn't giving me money because he is upset with me. I destroyed his credit, and stole money from him. Our relationship is pretty bad and was wondering what I can do.


Ok, now we're getting the real story. Sorry about your troubles. Sounds like you got wrapped up with some credit card companies and a lack of self control? Or maybe gambling? Your husband has a right to be upset with you and if you know what's good for your relationship you will cease and desist with the sneaky lack of self control. Pawning your engagement ring is a continuation of the problem behavior and it will likely get you divorced. You've got to lose this mindset. 

Make no mistake, financial dishonesty within the marriage is a species of infidelity and if my wife did this to me I'd divorce her within the week. If my wife followed up hypothetical action with pawning her engagement ring I'd divorce her in a nanosecond. You need to take your consequences and own it. Also, you need counseling to reverse this philosophy of failure you are entrenched in. However, there is no substitute for good old fashioned self discipline and HONESTY. 

Humbly approach your husband and acknowledge your faults. Apologize sincerely. No excuses. Ask him to help you with a game plan on how to manage a little bit of the households finances so you can develop self control and prove to him you have learned your lesson. Measurable results and accountability and honesty is what he is wanting from you. He has taken complete control of the finances because he cannot trust you and now it is good for you to enjoy the consequences. 

Don't you dare even let yourself think of pawning that ring. This kind of attitude is what got you in trouble in the first place. Your comment "he won't find out about it" is an absolute abomination in the context of this situation. This comment shows us you have not learned your lesson and you are headed for a disaster. Maybe you should request a moderator to move your thread to the finances in marriage section. Sorry for the tough love, but goodness sakes girl, you really need to turn this around! Good luck.


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## 2under1roof (Aug 15, 2014)

Our relationship is pretty bad he had been calling me bad names from the start of the relationship so I lost a lot of respect for him. He disrespects my family and says bad things about them also. I have been home for the past 10 years because I got fired from a financial institution. We do have 3 children together and he is the sole bread winner. He gave me the responsibility of paying all the bills and putting money in the saving account. He new I was bad with money and he was trying to teach me how to manage it. About 8 years ago I started stealing money from him and was able to continue for years because he never checked his accounts. I stole a total of $50,000.00. What should I do?


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

Go shopping, of course! Momma needs a new pair of shoes!

Make that m'er f'er atone to being so rotten to you these past 10 years while he busts his butt working every day to be able for you to steal $50,000 the most easiest way possible! His trusting nature be DAMNED! 

I mean, who does he think he is, just handing over his paycheck like that. Who even DOES that???

All the lies and deception you gave him throughout the years, he bloody DESERVED that!

How DARE he give you responsibility to look out for the family finances. 

Yep, you got him right where you want him. Broke, desolate and betrayed by you in the worst way, abused by Trust.

You go girl!!!








*End of sarcastic and disdained rant.....


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Spidey senses tingling. I'm out.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

This isn't a money problem. It's an honesty and trust problem. He doesn't trust you because you have deceived him and stolen from him. Your plan is to engage in even more deceitful, dishonest behavior? You aren't "bad" with money. You are dishonest. You can learn money management but an adult's character is pretty much what it is. If your parents didn't raise an honest person your husband should have married better. If you can't avoid deceiving your husband simply because it's the moral and right thing to do, perhaps the very real prospect of being divorced and forced to support yourself on a minimum wage job might do the trick. Outside of your marriage, dishonesty gets you thrown in the slam. Once that occurs, your employment options will be near zero.


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## 2under1roof (Aug 15, 2014)

We are living together but he is not very observant. And I shouldn't use the word pawn. I did put a loan against it at a pawn shop, and they offered me $620.00. They said they will not sell the ring until the deadline date. I will pay it back and get the ring back before that time.


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## ILoveSparkles (Oct 28, 2013)

2under1roof said:


> We are living together but he is not very observant. And I shouldn't use the word pawn. I did put a loan against it at a pawn shop, and they offered me $620.00. They said they will not sell the ring until the deadline date. I will pay it back and get the ring back before that time.


What do you need $620 for? How are you going to get the money to pay off that loan?

What on earth did you spend $50,000 on?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

2under1roof said:


> We are living together but he is not very observant. And I shouldn't use the word pawn. I did put a loan against it at a pawn shop, and they offered me $620.00. They said they will not sell the ring until the deadline date. I will pay it back and get the ring back before that time.


Okay. You have difficulty being prudent with money. Can you admit that? If so, can you move forward to the next step and ask for help dealing with that?

So, really, the engagement ring is gone.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

2under1roof said:


> Our relationship is pretty bad he had been calling me bad names from the start of the relationship so I lost a lot of respect for him. He disrespects my family and says bad things about them also. I have been home for the past 10 years because I got fired from a financial institution. We do have 3 children together and he is the sole bread winner. He gave me the responsibility of paying all the bills and putting money in the saving account. He new I was bad with money and he was trying to teach me how to manage it. About 8 years ago I started stealing money from him and was able to continue for years because he never checked his accounts. I stole a total of $50,000.00. What should I do?


You need to give more detail here. What do you mean that you stole $50,000 from him?

What did you do with the $50,000.

Did you put it in some bank account in your own name? 

Or did you spend it? If you spent it, what did you spend it on?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> You need to give more detail here. What do you mean that you stole $50,000 from him?
> 
> What did you do with the $50,000.
> 
> ...


I think if she had money somewhere, she would not had pawned the engagement ring.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

If my spouse had stolen $50,000 from me/the family, I would no longer be married. If by some miracle we were still married after he stole that much, and then he pawned his wedding ring to get more money, the marriage would be over ASAP - no discussion, no counseling, no possible way to recover from that! But that is just how I would feel.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Oh wow.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

aug said:


> I think if she had money somewhere, she would not had pawned the engagement ring.


I'm asking her where the money is. I agree that she probably spent it. 

Until I know what she spent that money on there is no way I can make an informed reply.

We have had people coming here saying that they "stole" or spent the money and their spouse was pissed at them. After some discussion it turns out that their the responsibility to handle all finances was put on them. And they paid the bills. The "stolen/wasted" money really went to pay the bills. But their spouse will not acknowledge that's what the money went towards and is instead punishing the spouse who had the responsibility to make sure all the bills were paid.

$50,000 is $5,000 a year or $416 a month for 10 years. That kind of money could be just bill money.

In these 10 years was she allowed to have money for her needs beyond basic survival? What about for the children?

I'm not jumping to any conclusions here. The OP is being very unclear. If she wants input that can be of actual help to her she really needs to give more information.


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## lessthennone (Jun 19, 2014)

2under1roof said:


> We are living together but he is not very observant. And I shouldn't use the word pawn. I did put a loan against it at a pawn shop, and they offered me $620.00. They said they will not sell the ring until the deadline date. I will pay it back and get the ring back before that time.


If you stole $50,000 over the last 10 years, and needed to pawn your ring for $620.00; then you will not be getting the ring back. 

What exactly are you spending the money on?


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> $50,000 is $5,000 a year or $416 a month for 10 years. That kind of money could be just bill money.


What is "just" bill money? I totally wish I could be in a situation where I could put the word "just" connected in anyway to $50,000.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Starstarfish said:


> What is "just" bill money? I totally wish I could be in a situation where I could put the word "just" connected in anyway to $50,000.


What I mean is that maybe that's how much it cost to pay the utilities, buy food and take care of the kid's needs. It's easy for these things to add up to $416 a month. And that's $50,000 over 10 years. Life is expensive.

We do not know how much the OP's husband earns. If there was $50,000 slack in the budget over 10 years, then they are not living hand to mouth.

I want more info before giving a response.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

2under1roof said:


> He isn't giving me money because he is upset with me. I destroyed his credit, and stole money from him. Our relationship is pretty bad and was wondering what I can do.


Is there something else you can sell? Perhaps a designer bag, another piece of jewelry?? I feel like if you pawn your ring, you will deeply regret it and it will make things worse for your marriage.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good afternoon all
I really hope this is a troll. If not, there is not future for a marriage where someone steals money from their spouse. Either the husband is not providing enough support, or she is a thief. I see no solution here. 

Selling the ring is pointless. If you have gone through 50K in a few years, the $600 won't last long. Get a divorce now - at least you will have $600 rather than nothing.


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