# STBX double dating with our old friends!



## nowthinkpositive (Jun 18, 2011)

Ran into a friend today. She told me that she and her husband went out with my stbx and the OW. She said he seems happy and in love. And here I sit, waiting for my divorce court date next week, alone. There seems like no justice. He will keep the house because it is too much work and expense for me. I have to relocate. He keeps our couple friends - remove old ball and chain - insert girlfriend - bingo! - everything's great! Our only child who is away at college will keep the family home as his primary residence, but why do I have to "lose" him too? I didn't have the EA. Why do I have to lose everything and he gets his same old life with the new replacement model and I have to start everything over all alone. It seems there is no justice in this world. I am having a bad day. The thought of him out and about with all of our old friends and we're not even divorced yet is killing me. Why should I care? It's none of my business since we have been separated about 5 months. Why can't I let go? Advice welcome!!!


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I totally feel for you. It seems like there is no justice out there. My ex H is still with the OW although in a different country so not sure how many of our mutual friends actually support that. But my ex has made himself new friends in CT while I was at home there with a new born baby. I really hope karma gets your and my now ex husband one day. Stay strong and take care of your self. I know it is easier said than done. I am still trying to let go almost a year after our divorce.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Your "friend" seems pretty insensitive. 

Maybe not even your friend. Lord knows I wouldn't go out with a friend and his new gf if we are friends with his wife and they aren't even divorced yet. Wtf.

Sorry you had to go through this. It's all garbage.  And sad. But...karma's a beyotch....trust that.


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## nowthinkpositive (Jun 18, 2011)

I hope Karma is a woman scorned because if she is we're going to get along just fine! What comes around goes around as they say ... did I mention my "friend" said - I was surprised when I met the OW - she is not as pretty as you. Frankly I don't know if that makes me happy, or if it makes me feel worse!!!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I would cut that "friend" out of your life. What a catty b*tch!


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

that_girl said:


> I would cut that "friend" out of your life. What a catty b*tch!


One of my biggest disappointments after my divorce was the fact that many of my friends(mutual and mine) could not even remember one time to pick up the phone/email just to say Hello, how are you doing? I am too proud to even ask about help. I have honestly started deleting people from my facebook account. If they cannot be bothered to email/call at least once a year then I don't need them. 

Cut off this friend for good. You won't be losing much.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

NTP yeah with friends like that you dont need no enemies, and as TG said Karma is a Beyottch cant wait until my wife meets her.


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## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

If I were you, I'd stop considering them "friends". The insensitivity shown to you is simply cruel.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Nowthink--sorry to hear about this. Focus on your life and your children and get ready for the legal proceedings. If you are uncomfortable (who wouldn't be) with your friends sharing this info, the next time they bring up stbx and the OW, tell them "I appreciate you wanting to keep me abreast of new information but it makes me uncomfortable when you talk about it/
and/or

"I do not want to talk about that."

If they are true friends, they will respect your decision not to bring it up.


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## nowthinkpositive (Jun 18, 2011)

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and support. Good to know it isn't just me who feels the whole friend interaction was wrong on lots of levels. Don't you find you start to second guess your own judgement through all of this? I have to begin to trust my own instincts again. Now I get to gear up for making it official in court next week. When I am in the same room with the stbx I seem to always have a melt down emotionally and I am praying I hold it together. I don't want to do that in court of all places. Wish me luck!


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Nothing wrong with a meltdown. It's how your feeling. Let it out. 

My friends abandoned me during my separation. But, being the guy of the wife, I think that's how it usually plays put for us, even if we r the LS. 


I just found new ones
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Yep same way its playing in mine but screw em Ill find more people to hang out with. I only have a select crew that I run with and well nothing is breaking that one so either way I am good. Just know you will and can find better friends than that


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## hoohagirl (Sep 12, 2011)

I've been going through a lot of this too. It seems like I am the only one paying for the decision he made. I have had all sorts of consequences but so far it seems like all he does is go out with his friends, live with his parents and has no responsibilities. 

He told all of our friends he didn't want them talking to me because he didn't want them to get involved. Then kept calling all of my friends to see if they were mad at him?

Friggin' A - If your husband has so little respect for you than thank God you are getting the divorce and yes, cut those friends out of your life because they are not the kind of friends you would want.


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