# Flirty cashier



## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

Hello, sorry if this is long. I have been married 20 years and I have accumulated a bit of a baggage of trust issue towards my husband. When we met I told him I hated porn and yet caught him 3 times and he had the courage to deny it despite the evidence. 

Then one day about 8 years ago I found apicture of a girl he worked with in an email I found in his wallet and he blushed and said his boss had an affair with her and that my husband made the email for him to cover him up as he had no clue back then how to make an email. We had a fight, my husband got drunk and left and then his boss called me to confess it was all true and if I wanted I could have listened to a conversation between him and the girl to prove they were in a relationship. As proof he told he knew the password of the email and it was right (my husband could have told him though) I never really felt 100 secure this is what really happened. And despite asking and asking my husband always sticks to these facts. 

Anyhow, now put this aside, there's this girl at a grocery store we shop at that acts flirty towards my husband. She uses this sexy tone of voice and greets him more than me. The other day I was away for a minute and she passed by him and said "I haven't seen you for a while" and my husband answers "we are always here, it's you we haven't for some time." I didn't worry much about this statement at first because he said this same thing to an older lady working there who said the same thing. 

Fast forward some time, she keeps saying sort of dual-meaning things in a sexy voice to him like "I can take you down here" referring to the cash register. Last time, my husband was turned away putting groceries in his cart and she walked behind him saying "mam, mam!" which sounded like "man" and of course my husband turned around to look at her as he thought she was referring to him. I think it was an excuse just to get attention because she was talking to a lady like 4 registers away and think it was unnecessary to do all that scene. 

Anyhow, I could care less about all this, after all my husband comes home with me after shopping and we shop always together, except that my husband lately is acting receptive to this.

Like now in the morning he is picky about what shirt to wear, he never did this before. Like trying 2-3 shirts. He also is very self-conscious of being fat lately. Also, last time at the store we had a fight because he kept asking me how his hair looked and I got pissed off and annoyed because I had to concentrate on shopping. 

This is destroying me. I am an anxious person by nature and I cannot concentrate all day long. I dread now going to the store and feel like I might get a panic attack which I haven't suffered for years.

Usually I tell my husband if it bothers me if he looks at some woman too much, but this feels different because it's a person we see every singly week and I am terrorized of speaking out. 

I felt reassured for some time thinking she's just doing her job and she's probably even married but yikes, found on FB that's she's actually a single mom "looking for love."

I am debating if I should tell my husband my feelings because I have heard that if you approach things the wrong way, you may actually push him to that person rather than push your husband closer to you. 

We work at home together all day long, and I am afraid I am boring. We often have discussions. I was fantasizing the other day that perhaps she could make him happier. She is a bit younger than me, quite attractive and perhaps my husband may like her parents more than mine, maybe she's even more confident in bed etc. 

I am also terrorized of leaving for Europe for one month to visit my mom and dad who are seniors. I see them once a year and we don't go together because we have many pets who need care and are old. My husband doesn't get along much with my mom and dad so it's better this way. Oddly he's usually reluctant to have me go, but this time he sort of gave up saying 'in any case, you go anyhow."

So here's the main question is: should I talk about this with him or will this make matters worse? 

Should I try to find a day that she's not working and stick to that, but then avoidance of the problem won't likely help. With a history of anxiety and fears I learned it's best to face problems. 

I also have this terrible thought of one day finding that my husband cheats/cheated on me or we don't get along and my parents are no longer alive and I wasted precious time I could have spent with them rather than a man that didn't deserve me. We live so far away and I get to see them only once a month. I have a great relationship with my parents and they have done so much for us! My husband often is jealous of my relationship with them. 

Sometimes I wished I would know the whole truth so I can decide to leave for good. I leave no space for adultery and don't want to spend my life with somebody that wasn't faithful to me.


When I shop I get very nervous now and my husband notices it. I am anxious so I blush easily and get very shy. I know instead in this case I should be bold. I contacted a counselor online and he told me that I should just tell my husband that her flirty behavior makes me feel uncomfortable. He recommended I do not blame him for anything. I already did that (I told him I don't like her behavior and he said she's just doing her job and if I had that job I also would have to do that) and sort of made a bit fun of her flirting with customers (as last time she was all saying hello to others with this sexy voice) but don't feel good because I feel like what I really need to discuss is his change in picking clothes and looking good. Also, hubby always uses the restroom before checking out and I think he goes fix his hair. 

Yet, I feel if I say everything then it would start feeling weird when we go shopping. Like already now when hubby sees her tells me, get ready to blush there's that girl that makes you feel uncomfortable. I am afraid she's going to gain to much importance, and create something that isn't there. I have heard horror stories of women who wit their insecurity actually ended up pushing their man towards the other girl. Is this really something that can happen?


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Can you go grocery shopping at another store?


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Lostme said:


> Can you go grocery shopping at another store?



That seems like a pretty simple solution right off the bat, lol!!


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Does she talk with you or just focus on him? 

I've worked in retail before, yeah being nice is part of customer service but excluding the wife of a couple sounds strange to me. 
I usually got to know married couples, their kids etc, her attention seems OTT to me. 

Sent from my F3311 using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Are there other stores around you? If so change the store you shop at.

Stores like Walmart grocery stores now have online shopping. Depending on where you live, you order online and in some places they will deliver. In other places you pick it up. I've been using this service. The store has a place on the north side of the building where I park and call the number posted on the building. They bring out my groceries and put them in my car. I love it.

There is another grocery store in my area that does that as well.

If you use this kind of service, you don't have to go into the store to shop at all and it cuts down your shopping time to about the 5-10 minutes it takes them to being the groceries out to your car. And you will never have to see that woman again.

Order your groceries. Then schedule fun things to do with the time you would have been shopping. Just change your environment.

Also, when you are no that trip, make sure that the house is stocked with food so that he has no need to go to the grocery store. Sure he might, but maybe not.

There is a good possibility that since the two of you work together, so are together most of the time, things are getting a bit old. So start switching up your life.

What sorts of fun and interesting things do the two of you do together when you are not working or shopping?


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

Thanks,,

We live in a small town and this is the only store with the best prices and has organic stuff. We have our bank there and the pharmacy. We love the store, which is a shame to stop shopping just because of her. I always thought that problems should be faced rather than avoided. But gosh, this hurts me so much and I didn't suffer from anxiety a while and now it's coming back. 

If we changed, then hubby would ask me why I want to change store, what should I say? He hates shopping so I think he would love home delivery but we live in the country and they won't deliver as we live in the boonies. 

As fun things we do together, we love watching tv, he wants me to play video games with him and once we no longer have our dogs we will be going on cruises and traveling the world. Even though we share the same office we are sort of on our own and have side hobbies (I garden, write and my husband takes care of our chickens). My husband is very happy the way we live, we work at home and he said he couldn't be happier than this. I am happy too, have heard many say that it's not good, but his parents lived this way and my parents too as they retired early.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jenna76 said:


> Thanks,,
> 
> We live in a small town and this is the only store with the best prices and has organic stuff. We have our bank there and the pharmacy. We love the store, which is a shame to stop shopping just because of her. I always thought that problems should be faced rather than avoided. But gosh, this hurts me so much and I didn't suffer from anxiety a while and now it's coming back.
> 
> If we changed, then hubby would ask me why I want to change store, what should I say? He hates shopping so I think he would love home delivery but we live in the country and they won't deliver as we live in the boonies.


Just making a change in your life is a great way to fix something with no fuss. But it sounds like that is not an option in this case. So you need to continue to shop at the same place. 

In that case, I think you need to deal with it head on. Get the books “Love Busters” and “His Needs, Her Needs” and read them. They will give you the words and hopefully the confidence to address this with him.

What he is doing is a huge love buster and you need to tell him to knock it off. But don’t do that until you have read the books.

You might also want to exploit it if an opportunity to handle this at the store arises. Let me explain.

Years ago, when I was dating my son’s father, we went into a camera shop to buy some expense camera equipment. I was buying this with my money, for me. Well the clerk was a very attractive young lady who started to flirt with my then boyfriend. She was very blatant about it and he was eating it up. She brought out all kinds of equipment and he started to act like he was going to buy. I kept trying to get help, to see equipment, etc. and she just ignored me. So, I stepped back and let her ring it all up… the stuff she talked him into. But he was not paying. I looked at what she had bagged up and told her something like “Oh, that’s not what I wanted.” And I walked out. Her store manager was watching. Boy, did he chew her out after I left $3,000 of equipment on the counter. I just stood outside the store and laughed.

You are being too passive in the store. It sounds to me like he is doing the checking out, paying and you are just there passively standing by the sidelines. He’s sidelined you and that gives her the chance to move in.

Is she the only cashier? If not, get the someone else’s line.

If she is, you do the checkout. Tell your husband to get the car and wait for you outside the store to make it easier when you have to load the groceries.

If he will not do something like get the car and insists on doing the check out, stand right up there with him and talk to him during the check out. Let her know that you are there. When men do things like this with their wives, it’s called ‘**** blocking’.

I’m sure that if you get a sense of humor and think about it you can find ways to assert yourself.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I'm not sure changing stores will help your heart, though. Because you have witnessed something now that can't just be erased in your mind. Maybe talk with your husband. Ask if he's happy in the relationship, tell him your concerns. He's your husband, and while you might not want to have that conversation, it's probably a good idea to have it.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

I think you're insecure, and at the moment you are reading things into a situation that are not there. Be careful you don't turn this into a self fulfilling prophecy. From the sounds of it ,the girl is just doing her job, and your husband has done nothing to warrant your concern. Your anxiety is causing your paranoia and it's a vicious cycle. I fall into that trap occasionally myself.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I think you're hopelessly insecure. I have to agree with Rubix on this one.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> I think you're hopelessly insecure. I have to agree with Rubix on this one.


You mentioned Europe? Unless we're talking Albania, and maybe Germany 😀 most every country there features flirting....


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Why do you both need to go? Many women do the food shopping alone. 

I am more concerned with that past situation of him having the picture if that lady in his wallet.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

Diana7 we have shopped together ever since we met. I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks. 

It actually wasn't a picture in his wallet, it was an email that took me to a picture of co-worker when I figured out the password and entered into the accountr. At the end, turned it was an email my husband made for his boss who was computer illiterate so that he could communicate with this girl he was having an affair with. The boss confirmed it (but I really never 100 percent believed in this story) But this was like more than 8 years ago, I gave up trying to figure out the truth because still as of today my husband swears to me that he didn't do anything.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

Married but Happy said:


> I think you're hopelessly insecure. I have to agree with Rubix on this one.



Well, thanks for the encouragement.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Your husband's sudden interest in his appearance mainly AFTER the flirty cashier's comments (and changing his shirts a few times before going to that particular store), doesn't sound unreasonable to wonder why he's all of a sudden doing that, imo. I'm not an insecure person, and that stands out to me in your story. I'd talk with him, and share your feelings in a calm way, just that you're wondering.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> You are being too passive in the store. It sounds to me like he is doing the checking out, paying and you are just there passively standing by the sidelines. He’s sidelined you and that gives her the chance to move in.
> 
> Is she the only cashier? If not, get the someone else’s line.
> 
> ...



She's not really a cashier, even though occasionally she checks us out. She's a front end manager that coordinates lines and talks to everybody, smiling around left and right. She greets everybody, but I see her mostly interacting with males. I don't think I am passive. Last time she checked us out, I stuck in front of her and talked to her so she didn't have the opportunity to talk to/focus on my husband. I even was compassionate because she said she had a headache. My husband was putting stuff in the cart. He paid though cause he had the credit card.

Anyhow, I am not concerned about her, she can flirt with everybody I care less, what bothers me is my husband's behavior. His hard time choosing what to wear (he does it only for this store) and sudden vanity and concern about how he looks. 

I would like to read those books, but boy I don't think I can hold all this any longer. I feel sick and can't bear to shop there anymore. My hopes were high today that she wasn't there since we went today on a different day, instead there she was.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

That he is interested and responding to another woman would concern me. Even if you manage to avoid this one, it will likely be another one, or more than one.

For some reason his heart is open. Addressing that is where I would focus my energy.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

Rubix Cubed said:


> I think you're insecure, and at the moment you are reading things into a situation that are not there. Be careful you don't turn this into a self fulfilling prophecy. From the sounds of it ,the girl is just doing her job, and your husband has done nothing to warrant your concern. Your anxiety is causing your paranoia and it's a vicious cycle. I fall into that trap occasionally myself.



By self fulfilling prophesy do you mean that by talking about it with him, he may actually decide to take initiative towards her or I push him towards her? That's why I am terrorized of talking about it. Yet, I have nobody to talk to and feel anxious and can't work just at the thought of shopping again.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

jld said:


> That he is interested and responding to another woman would concern me. Even if you manage to avoid this one, it will likely be another one, or more than one.
> 
> For some reason his heart is open. Addressing that is where I would focus my energy.


I am confused because some say that he is doing nothing wrong and some others make it sound like there's something concerning going on. How can I address things if his heart is open? Every time we talk he says he's happy he would marry me again. I have told him in the past ask please if you ever feel like cheating on me or something tell me right away because I don;t want to live with somebody who cheats or thinks of cheating.

I think he's not really thinking of cheating but is sort of flattered, and this girl sort of ups his ego.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

jenna76 said:


> I am confused because some say that he is doing nothing wrong and some others make it sound like there's something concerning going on. How can I address things if his heart is open? Every time we talk he says he's happy he would marry me again. I have told him in the past ask please if you ever feel like cheating on me or something tell me right away because I don;t want to live with somebody who cheats or thinks of cheating.
> 
> I think he's not really thinking of cheating but is sort of flattered, and this girl sort of ups his ego.


Ah, okay. So this is more about hurt feelings than actual fear he will be unfaithful?

You could point out what you see and ask him how he would feel if you started changing your outfit a few times before going to the butcher shop or mechanic's.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

Well, I know 100 percent he's not cheating on me as we are always together, it could be something emotional going on so I am scared about him fantasizing about her. I grew up in Europe where there's a tendency for men to never say "no" to a woman that has interest in him. so sort of have a tendency to see things through insecure eyes. I know nothing can happen really with me around and my hubby hates to go to stores alone but am afraid for when I must go see my parents and he's left alone for a full month. My counselor says to not give up my parent's visit as they're old and I see them only once a year. He told me if a man wants to cheat, he'll do it whether or not I am around. 


I so badly want to talk, but am afraid to as somebody said it could become a self-fullfilled prophecy.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Do you compliment how he looks in his shirt? If his weight is bothering him, this may be part of his feeling self-conscious. And when you go to the store, how about subtely taking his hand in yours or wrap his arm around your shoulder as you're going aisle to aisle. He asks about his hair, rummage your finger tips through it, give him a kiss and tell him he looks adorable (if he does). Flirt with him! Make the time at the grocery store a fun, light-hearted thing between you.

The focus is on you two being there together. She is irrelevant. 

I've had women light up around my husband, (I'm not referring to being out-of-line) I acknowledge he's a good catch and he's engaging. I might tease him a bit but tell him I can't blame them as I know I'm onto a good thing. He usually reacts in a humble, shy way. Like a version of blushing. And that also makes me want to lap him up. 

At the end of the day though, you can't control his actions. You'd tie yourself up in knots attempting to. There's a certain 'letting-go' you need to do for your own sanity.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jenna76 said:


> She's not really a cashier, even though occasionally she checks us out. She's a front end manager that coordinates lines and talks to everybody, smiling around left and right. She greets everybody, but I see her mostly interacting with males. I don't think I am passive. Last time she checked us out, I stuck in front of her and talked to her so she didn't have the opportunity to talk to/focus on my husband. I even was compassionate because she said she had a headache. My husband was putting stuff in the cart. He paid though cause he had the credit card.
> 
> Anyhow, I am not concerned about her, she can flirt with everybody I care less, what bothers me is my husband's behavior. His hard time choosing what to wear (he does it only for this store) and sudden vanity and concern about how he looks.
> 
> I would like to read those books, but boy I don't think I can hold all this any longer. I feel sick and can't bear to shop there anymore. My hopes were high today that she wasn't there since we went today on a different day, instead there she was.


The books are a quick read. The fact that you are unsure about what to do, what to say, etc. tells me that you need some guidance in how to approach him. And the details of that are too much to communicate on a board like this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jenna76 said:


> *I am confused because some say that he is doing nothing wrong and some others make it sound like there's something concerning going on.* How can I address things if his heart is open? Every time we talk he says he's happy he would marry me again. I have told him in the past ask please if you ever feel like cheating on me or something tell me right away because I don;t want to live with somebody who cheats or thinks of cheating.
> 
> I think he's not really thinking of cheating but is sort of flattered, and this girl sort of ups his ego.


What matters is what you think. Clearly what is going on is hurting you. That is what matters. As your husband, he should be willing to do what you need for him to do to make you feel better about this situation. That is all that matters.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> What matters is what you think. Clearly what is going on is hurting you. That is what matters. As your husband, he should be willing to do what you need for him to do to make you feel better about this situation. That is all that matters.


I agree with this, too.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

You should be clear with him that what *HE IS DOING* in unacceptable to you. That it us HURTING you. I kind of get the "being friendly" with retail folks - I am too, I have regulars I see at the store when they check me out. No flirting. No special attention... and this is with both men and women workers that are friendly.

If he's going there... like when you leave for a month. Yeah, he could hit on her. That is your fear. While you are gone, he'll have to go shopping by himself and it would be noticed by that cashier. When single, I'd do some shopping to hopefully talk to a woman or two in my lifespan.

Also, since married - I don't look my best as I used too. I do like going out on date night with the wife and look my best. I don't groom my hair as much. Clean yes. Stylish or whatever - no.

You can tell him to stop flirting with her when you are gone... but it is unknown if he will. If you feel you should, put a tracker on your phone or see if its included with your celluar service... where you can see where he is... especially if he's on Android. Seeing him at store 1-2 times everyday would be a bad sign. You can only hope for the best.

When you come back, notice how they are when you go shopping again. Does the cashier avoid either or both of you? Does she stair at your husband more so? Is she more cold or warmer than before you left. For example, lets say you come back. Your husband nolonger cares about how his hair looks and the cashier is not paying attention to him or indifferent. Then that woudl suggest that he did hit-on her, and he got rejected. Who knows. Sorry that everything is speculation.

BTW: When it comes to men who wants a married woman, they are after looks. But women are ODD. They see a married man who seems stable and nice with his wife - they may want that for themselves - and go after that man because of his "husband qualities" which of course is cheating and would devalue those qualities. People are stupid. If you lookedup her facebook, its possible for your husband to have done so as well... no?


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

jenna76 said:


> By self fulfilling prophesy do you mean that by talking about it with him, he may actually decide to take initiative towards her or I push him towards her? That's why I am terrorized of talking about it. Yet, I have nobody to talk to and feel anxious and can't work just at the thought of shopping again.


 No I think you should talk to him, but do it non-accusingly from the position of how his actions (or your *perception* of his actions) make you feel.
I think you are creating a scenario in your head and blowing small things out of proportion or completely misreading what is happening through the lens of your anxiety. You need to work this through with him or you will drive yourself to a breakdown. Also ask your husband why he started getting more concerned about his attire. I think you will find you are making much ado about nothing.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> What matters is what you think. Clearly what is going on is hurting you. That is what matters. As your husband, he should be willing to do what you need for him to do to make you feel better about this situation. That is all that matters.


I'm not sure that this is a good idea for him. Yes, he should work with her to help her overcome a dysfunctional level of insecurity and jealousy, but not cater to irrational fears. Without some real evidence that he's receptive to advances, rather than just enjoying some slightly flirty behavior, he needs to draw some lines on _her_ behavior, IMO.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> I'm not sure that this is a good idea for him. Yes, he should work with her to help her overcome a dysfunctional level of insecurity and jealousy, but not cater to irrational fears. Without some real evidence that he's receptive to advances, rather than just enjoying some slightly flirty behavior, he needs to draw some lines on _her_ behavior, IMO.


Like what?


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## Todd Haberdasher (Apr 23, 2017)

I liked the part where "I can get you down here" is a coded come-on rather than a phrase used by every cashier in the country.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

jld said:


> Like what?


Exactly. There is none.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Exactly. There is none.


No lines for him to draw on her behavior?


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## veganmermaid (Jun 17, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> I am more concerned with that past situation of him having the picture if that lady in his wallet.



Same! I can't believe others haven't addressed this. He clearly lied to you and convinced his boss to help him concoct/maintain that crazy story.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

jenna76 said:


> Diana7 we have shopped together ever since we met. I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks.
> 
> It actually wasn't a picture in his wallet, it was an email that took me to a picture of co-worker when I figured out the password and entered into the accountr. At the end, turned it was an email my husband made for his boss who was computer illiterate so that he could communicate with this girl he was having an affair with. The boss confirmed it (but I really never 100 percent believed in this story) But this was like more than 8 years ago, I gave up trying to figure out the truth because still as of today my husband swears to me that he didn't do anything.


So why couldnt the boss actually talk to the lady or ring her if he wasn't computer literate? 
Flirting with a married person is wrong in my opinion. We cant stop others flirting, but we can make re we dont encourage it.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

jld said:


> No lines for him to draw on her behavior?


Whose? The cashier's? No. He can only control his own, and it doesn't sound like he did anything that crosses any reasonable line. His wife's? Yes - if she makes an issue of it because of her irrational fears.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Whose? The cashier's? No. He can only control his own, and it doesn't sound like he did anything that crosses any reasonable line. His wife's? Yes - if she makes an issue of it because of her irrational fears.


What lines do you advise him to draw on his wife's behavior?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

jld said:


> What lines do you advise him to draw on his wife's behavior?


She said she is anxious and prone to panic attacks. He should encourage her to seek medical help for that, whether counseling, medication, or both. Her reactions are due to her own problems, and (probably) erroneous perceptions of how he's "feeling" about these occasional flirts, that the cashier probably does with many, many customers. (Even if it's just him, he's not responding in kind, and unless he does, this is non-issue.)


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> She said she is anxious and prone to panic attacks. He should encourage her to seek medical help for that, whether counseling, medication, or both. Her reactions are due to her own problems, and (probably) erroneous perceptions of how he's "feeling" about these occasional flirts, that the cashier probably does with many, many customers. (Even if it's just him, he's not responding in kind, and unless he does, this is non-issue.)


What about the changing of clothes?

The picture of the girl in his wallet?


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## Good Guy (Apr 26, 2016)

Where in Europe are you from that women come on to married men all the time and they say no? I've lived in Europe in different countries all my life and never heard of this.

Generally most married men in Northern Europe at least never get flirted with unless they are some celebrity or something.

I think you're over reacting. Customer service in Europe generally involves a woman who treats you like it's a privilege to buy something from her. Maybe that's the issue, she's just being friendly US style, and you think she's flirting?


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## Good Guy (Apr 26, 2016)

jld said:


> Married but Happy said:
> 
> 
> > She said she is anxious and prone to panic attacks. He should encourage her to seek medical help for that, whether counselin
> ...


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Good Guy said:


> She said she is anxious and prone to panic attacks. He should encourage her to seek medical help for that, whether counselin
> 
> What about the changing of clothes?
> 
> ...


Would you change your shirt a few times before you went to the store?

Would you feel okay with your wife doing the same before she went to the mechanic's?

Didn't you have some similar issues in your marriage? You felt jealous of your wife spending emotional energy on other men, correct?

Yes, she may be overly sensitive. But his behavior is not reassuring her, either.

Jenna, my honest advice to you is to leave your husband if you fundamentally do not trust him. Trust is the foundation of marriage.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

jenna76 said:


> At the end, turned it was an email my husband made for his boss who was computer illiterate so that he could communicate with this girl he was having an affair with. The boss confirmed it (but I really never 100 percent believed in this story) But this was like more than 8 years ago, I gave up trying to figure out the truth because still as of today my husband swears to me that he didn't do anything.


Yeah, I wouldn't believe that pile of manure, either.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

His behavior with the cashier is a bit juvenile because he is obviously enjoying the attention and is now encouraging it but you should work to control your anxiety as well.

Tell him to grow up and both of you need to work on meeting each others needs.

He is seeking validation from this woman so he might need a boost in the self esteem department and it could be harmless as long as your marriage is solid.

You are feeling uncomfortable though and he needs to address that with compassion and love.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

jld said:


> What about the changing of clothes?
> 
> The picture of the girl in his wallet?


Exactly, and the checking of his hair when they go into the shop. You dont keep pictures of a woman in your wallet unless she means something.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Yeah, I wouldn't believe that pile of manure, either.


Nor me, and what boss would be computer illiterate in this day and age anyway?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Just making a change in your life is a great way to fix something with no fuss. But it sounds like that is not an option in this case. So you need to continue to shop at the same place.
> 
> In that case, I think you need to deal with it head on. Get the books “Love Busters” and “His Needs, Her Needs” and read them. They will give you the words and hopefully the confidence to address this with him.
> 
> ...


Simply amazing!

Do this!!! I think I love this woman!

In a strictly platonic, anonymous internet kind of way!:wink2::grin2:


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Good Guy said:


> Where in Europe are you from that women come on to married men all the time and they say no? I've lived in Europe in different countries all my life and never heard of this.
> 
> Generally most married men in Northern Europe at least never get flirted with unless they are some celebrity or something.
> 
> I think you're over reacting. Customer service in Europe generally involves a woman who treats you like it's a privilege to buy something from her. Maybe that's the issue, she's just being friendly US style, and you think she's flirting?


I'm referring more to general prude-ness and gender relations overall. We Europeans​ seem to be a bit more open about such things. I've had better luck chatting up women in Europe than in the USA.... And my daughters, both veterans of study abroad in Europe, report being talked to by random people in Europe far more than in the USA.

I've also had long discussions in places like music stores and bookstores there, Germany usually. Maybe my asking where to buy kraftwerk vinyl 😀..


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

The problem isn't the cashier. The problem is your insecurity, and your husband's lack of patience with it. There are always going to be flirty people out there, on the job or not. You BOTH have to figure out ways TOGETHER to deal with them when you encounter them, instead of avoiding them by switching shopping habits. To do that, you have to be open and talk to him, AND he has to be understanding with you in return.

Tell him that his sudden concern about his appearance, especially right before checkout, is triggering your insecurity, and that you want his help brainstorming ways to deal with it. The first obvious solution is to seek counselling - you have deep trust issues you need to work on from the sounds of it.



jenna76 said:


> I have heard horror stories of women who wit their insecurity actually ended up pushing their man towards the other girl. Is this really something that can happen?


No. Any person who gets 'pushed' into the arms of another is really just looking for excuses for their own bad behaviour, someone to blame for what they did other than it being their own choice. If your husband finds your insecurity problematic, he can either help you deal with it, encourage you to find counselling, etc, or he can leave you. If, instead, he chose to find another girl and cheat on you, then that's indicative of the kind of person he is and how he deals with adversity and nothing to do with you. 
Even if you were the least insecure person in the world and never doubted him, that would still be who he is deep down, lying in wait.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

john117 said:


> I've also had long discussions in places like music stores and bookstores there, Germany usually. Maybe my asking where to buy kraftwerk vinyl 😀..


Kraftwerk!!! Smooth!


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

lucy999 said:


> Kraftwerk!!! Smooth!
> 
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk


The chatting up was needed because music stores in Germany - the ones I visited at least - were 50% classical (German composers​ ), 25% classical (non German), 25% other, other being ABBA to whatever. You ask for things like Kraftwerk or Nightwish and they're like WTF WTF WTF...

By comparison, I had little problem finding PFM vinyl in Italy...


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Nor me, and what boss would be computer illiterate in this day and age anyway?


 What boss would publicly admit to an affair he was not having just to cover for one of his underlings? You really think he would put his family life and career in jeopardy to cover for an employee? No Way! The husband here's biggest crime so far is helping his ********* boss have an affair, 
Oh yeah, and trying to look better. This borders on delusional paranoia and some of you are shoveling coal on to the fire as hard as you can.


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## Good Guy (Apr 26, 2016)

jld said:


> Good Guy said:
> 
> 
> > She said she is anxious and prone to panic attacks. He should encourage her to seek medical help for that, whether counselin
> ...


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## Todd Haberdasher (Apr 23, 2017)

Here's the deal. Yes he is changing his shirt and worrying about his hair because he wants to appear attractive to this (or some other) woman. Of course he is. All men do this. There is literally zero reason why a man wouldn't enjoy being flirted with, and want it to continue.

This doesn't mean anything about what has or will happen regarding his marital loyalty. Like I said, all men do this. Most men do not cheat. And it is irresponsible to try and link innocent behavior like this with infidelity. The man has done nothing wrong.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Todd Haberdasher said:


> Here's the deal. Yes he is changing his shirt and worrying about his hair because he wants to appear attractive to this (or some other) woman. Of course he is. All men do this. There is literally zero reason why a man wouldn't enjoy being flirted with, and want it to continue.
> 
> This doesn't mean anything about what has or will happen regarding his marital loyalty. Like I said, all men do this. Most men do not cheat. And it is irresponsible to try and link innocent behavior like this with infidelity. The man has done nothing wrong.


I must disagree strongly with Todd. As flattering as such attention may be, this is most definitely not a proper response. Part of being a good husband is providing security ... in all forms, including unwavering commitment to the relationship, which means actively excluding such distractions. In such instances when I have been on the receiving end of flirtations, I immediately took action to express my active dislike for the unsolicited advance. My wife deserves nothing less - as does my integrity; if I need an ego stroke that badly, something else is wrong and needs to be dealt with head on. 

I'm not saying that in this case, it would actually lead anywhere, or that the OP isn't overly anxious, but a proper response is still a proper response. There's one and only one person I try to dress attractive for - my wife. If the OP tends to be overly anxious, the husband must know that, and probably knew that when he married her. That's part of the package he signed up for. If that's a problem, he can 1. try to help her overcome that or 2. accept it as is. Lapping up flirtation from another is the direct opposite of the acceptable courses of action.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Todd Haberdasher said:


> Here's the deal. Yes he is changing his shirt and worrying about his hair because he wants to appear attractive to this (or some other) woman. Of course he is. All men do this. There is literally zero reason why a man wouldn't enjoy being flirted with, and want it to continue.
> 
> This doesn't mean anything about what has or will happen regarding his marital loyalty. Like I said, all men do this. Most men do not cheat. And it is irresponsible to try and link innocent behavior like this with infidelity. The man has done nothing wrong.


No they don't. Many men wouldn't be so disrespectful to their wives. As a married lady I wouldn't flirt with another man. Its plain wrong. Flirting is for the couple and no one else.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I must disagree strongly with Todd. As flattering as such attention may be, this is most definitely not a proper response. Part of being a good husband is providing security ... in all forms, including unwavering commitment to the relationship, which means actively excluding such distractions. In such instances when I have been on the receiving end of flirtations, I immediately took action to express my active dislike for the unsolicited advance. My wife deserves nothing less - as does my integrity; if I need an ego stroke that badly, something else is wrong and needs to be dealt with head on.
> 
> I'm not saying that in this case, it would actually lead anywhere, or that the OP isn't overly anxious, but a proper response is still a proper response. There's one and only one person I try to dress attractive for - my wife. If the OP tends to be overly anxious, the husband must know that, and probably knew that when he married her. That's part of the package he signed up for. If that's a problem, he can 1. try to help her overcome that or 2. accept it as is. Lapping up flirtation from another is the direct opposite of the acceptable courses of action.


My husband is the same, he would never encourage flirting. Its completely inappropriate. Especially if he is actually dressing differently for her and checking his hair. I wonder how he would react if his wife started putting make upon and dressing differently to flirt with another man? It should be his wife who he dressed nicely for and does his hair for. I can see why she is concerned.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Good Guy said:


> Would you change your shirt a few times before you went to the store?
> 
> No I wouldn't.
> 
> ...


Snoop properly? What does that mean?

You did not like your wife's perceived attention on another man. She does not like her husband's on another woman. Surely you understand?


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## Todd Haberdasher (Apr 23, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> Flirting is for the couple and no one else.


Lol, what's the point in flirting if you are a couple?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Todd Haberdasher said:


> Diana7 said:
> 
> 
> > Flirting is for the couple and no one else.
> ...


Oh, it can be quite fun.

It can also be a necessity element in maintaining attraction and Keeping some freshness in the relationship.

It's an important way to tell her she still turns your head and commands your attention and desire.

It's like watering the garden-without it, the fruit withers and dies on the vine. A sad thing to let happen to the most important relationship in your life.

And flirting within the confines of a committed relationship has an element of security- you get the best of both worlds-new zest and comfortable familiarity.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

jenna76 said:


> She's not really a cashier, even though occasionally she checks us out. She's a front end manager that coordinates lines and talks to everybody, smiling around left and right. She greets everybody, but I see her mostly interacting with males. I don't think I am passive. Last time she checked us out, I stuck in front of her and talked to her so she didn't have the opportunity to talk to/focus on my husband. I even was compassionate because she said she had a headache. My husband was putting stuff in the cart. He paid though cause he had the credit card.
> 
> Anyhow, I am not concerned about her, she can flirt with everybody I care less, what bothers me is my husband's behavior. His hard time choosing what to wear (he does it only for this store) and sudden vanity and concern about how he looks.
> 
> I would like to read those books, but boy I don't think I can hold all this any longer. I feel sick and can't bear to shop there anymore. My hopes were high today that she wasn't there since we went today on a different day, instead there she was.


Your H is lapping up the attention, that is why he is concerned about his looks etc. He is getting ego kibbles here and is a fool. If it was me, I would start flirting with a good looking male in the store, give him some of his own medicine. Men can be insensitive oafs and that is what he is being. Stand up for yourself and don't let this get to you so much. Men are visual creatures. Dress up when you go to the store, put on makeup, ask him how do you look, get him busy wondering about you. Two can play at that game.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

I think it's a bit funny in a hypocritical way that if the sexes were reversed and it was a woman who was trying to look nicer when she went out ,there would be a chorus of " she's doing it for herself" and "there is nothing wrong with looking nice". Everyone keeps referring to flirting, which the only case stated IIRC was "I can take you down here" from a cashier to a customer. The snowball of speculative posts seem to often change the "facts".


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Todd Haberdasher said:


> Lol, what's the point in flirting if you are a couple?


To keep things interesting and enjoyable. :smile2:


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rubix Cubed said:


> I think it's a bit funny in a hypocritical way that if the sexes were reversed and it was a woman who was trying to look nicer when she went out ,there would be a chorus of " she's doing it for herself" and "there is nothing wrong with looking nice". Everyone keeps referring to flirting, which the only case stated IIRC was "I can take you down here" from a cashier to a customer. The snowball of speculative posts seem to often change the "facts".


I see flirting as wrong no matter which sex does it. If a woman is looking nicer for another man, that is wrong.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> I see flirting as wrong no matter which sex does it. If a woman is looking nicer for another man, that is wrong.


 Agreed. But with what was posted here by the OP and it's context, I'm not convinced there was any flirting.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Agreed. But with what was posted here by the OP and it's context, I'm not convinced there was any flirting.


That may be possible with regard to the woman in the market. It's possible her actions are innocent.

But that seems far less likely given the husband's reaction/change in behavior. He is definitely responding to something, so that lends credence to the flirting concern.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Nor me, and _*what boss would be computer illiterate in this day and age *_anyway?


OK, this is an entire thread in itself!!!


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## dianaelaine59 (Aug 15, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> My husband is the same, he would never encourage flirting. Its completely inappropriate. Especially if he is actually dressing differently for her and checking his hair. I wonder how he would react if his wife started putting make upon and dressing differently to flirt with another man? It should be his wife who he dressed nicely for and does his hair for. I can see why she is concerned.




Absolutely!!!


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## dianaelaine59 (Aug 15, 2016)

Todd Haberdasher said:


> Lol, what's the point in flirting if you are a couple?




Really????


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## dianaelaine59 (Aug 15, 2016)

Tell him you've decided to start shopping at another store, see what his reaction is. 


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

This was a hilarious read. Gotta love the TAM sleuths, instantly all over how you need to shop somewhere else. 

OP, you're not just insecure, you're out in the stratosphere. Let's break this down...

"I can take you down here." from a cashier with an open register is translated to "I want your H's bones." 

"Ma'am, Ma'am!" directed at a woman past your husband is code for "Look at me Mr. Jenna76!"

You need some help with your insecurities. Yes, you can push your H away from you if you act crazy. And if he's starved for attention, and you start harping on how some other girl wants him. 

Focus on your marriage, not some cashier / grocery manager doing her job and being friendly with people.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Kivlor;17805826
Focus on your marriage said:


> This may well lead nowhere and the OP may be overly anxious.
> 
> However ....
> 
> ...


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## Suspect (Jan 12, 2016)

I have been on the receiving end of flirtations, I immediately took action to express my active dislike for the unsolicited advance. My wife deserves nothing less - as does my integrity; if I need an ego stroke that badly, something else is wrong and needs to be dealt with head on. 

This is a comment of a respectful person.

You know your husband and his actions. Is it only with this store that he does the primping and pruning before going there? 

You are behavior changed in him and from what it sounds your gut is eating t you. One thing you and your SO should be clear on And that is the definition of cheating and affair. It can all begin as an emotional affair and he doesn't consider that cheating because there was no sexual inter course. 

I must agree he is getting his ego stoked and is enjoying it. Why wouldn't he deny what he is doing and if he doesn't want it to stop. When he leaves the house alone notice the days to see if there is a pattern. Then start watching to see if that is her schedule. He may hate shopping but enjoys the stroking.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

Thanks all for the replies. At the end we discussed the issue. Turns out it seems like there was somehow some sort of snowball effect going on. I was dressing well and doing my best to look good to "compete" with this flirty cashier, and my husband told me that when he was dressing better, it was to keep up with me because he didn't want any other men to look at me and think that I was with an insignificant looking husband. 


This can make sense in some way because I have been really trying my best to look better than her, but at the same time a part of me thinks that that he just made it up. Any time I faced him red handed (like watching porn which I told him from the first days we dated that it was something I would not tolerate) he never admitted until I discovered 100 percent proof and couldn't deny. 

Anyhow, I am an anxious person have suffered from panic attacks since I was teen and I can no longer go to this store. It just makes me panicky now, also because I told him about it, it just feels "odd". He is taking it well, only thing is he misses his cream cheese that only this store carries.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

jenna76 said:


> Hello, sorry if this is long. I have been married 20 years and I have accumulated a bit of a baggage of trust issue towards my husband. When we met I told him I hated porn and yet caught him 3 times and he had the courage to deny it despite the evidence.
> 
> Then one day about 8 years ago I found apicture of a girl he worked with in an email I found in his wallet and he blushed and said his boss had an affair with her and that my husband made the email for him to cover him up as he had no clue back then how to make an email. We had a fight, my husband got drunk and left and then his boss called me to confess it was all true and if I wanted I could have listened to a conversation between him and the girl to prove they were in a relationship. As proof he told he knew the password of the email and it was right (my husband could have told him though) I never really felt 100 secure this is what really happened. And despite asking and asking my husband always sticks to these facts.
> 
> ...


Start flirting with your husband in front of her.

Or respond to her flirts as if you thought she meant them for you.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

jenna76 said:


> Thanks all for the replies. At the end we discussed the issue. Turns out it seems like there was somehow some sort of snowball effect going on. I was dressing well and doing my best to look good to "compete" with this flirty cashier, and my husband told me that when he was dressing better, it was to keep up with me because he didn't want any other men to look at me and think that I was with an insignificant looking husband.


I'm sorry, but that's *such *a boatload of crap.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

jenna76 said:


> Thanks all for the replies. At the end we discussed the issue. Turns out it seems like there was somehow some sort of snowball effect going on. I was dressing well and doing my best to look good to "compete" with this flirty cashier, and my husband told me that when he was dressing better, it was to keep up with me because he didn't want any other men to look at me and think that I was with an insignificant looking husband.
> 
> 
> This can make sense in some way because I have been really trying my best to look better than her, but at the same time a part of me thinks that that he just made it up. Any time I faced him red handed (like watching porn which I told him from the first days we dated that it was something I would not tolerate) he never admitted until I discovered 100 percent proof and couldn't deny.
> ...


I think that he is lying but never mind. It's a shame that he can't be honest with you. It's also sad that their bad behavior has meant that you wont go in there anymore. I wouldn't let that stop me, I would go there just as I always did.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

jenna76 said:


> Thanks all for the replies. At the end we discussed the issue. Turns out it seems like there was somehow some sort of snowball effect going on. I was dressing well and doing my best to look good to "compete" with this flirty cashier, and my husband told me that when he was dressing better, it was to keep up with me because he didn't want any other men to look at me and think that I was with an insignificant looking husband.
> 
> 
> This can make sense in some way because I have been really trying my best to look better than her, but at the same time a part of me thinks that that he just made it up. Any time I faced him red handed (like watching porn which I told him from the first days we dated that it was something I would not tolerate) he never admitted until I discovered 100 percent proof and couldn't deny.
> ...


So, you were dressing up, and your H decided that he should dress to match you when going to the store / out in public. And this somehow seems unbelievable to you? But you are admittedly insecure and anxious by nature. Perhaps the issue is in your fears and you need to learn to master them. 

J76, I really recommend you try to get some counseling for your anxiety, insecurity and paranoia. For your own good, and for your marriage.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

jenna76 said:


> Thanks all for the replies. At the end we discussed the issue. Turns out it seems like there was somehow some sort of snowball effect going on. I was dressing well and doing my best to look good to "compete" with this flirty cashier, and my husband told me that when he was dressing better, it was to keep up with me because he didn't want any other men to look at me and think that I was with an insignificant looking husband.
> 
> This can make sense in some way because I have been really trying my best to look better than her, but at the same time a part of me thinks that that he just made it up. Any time I faced him red handed (like watching porn which I told him from the first days we dated that it was something I would not tolerate) he never admitted until I discovered 100 percent proof and couldn't deny.
> 
> Anyhow, I am an anxious person have suffered from panic attacks since I was teen and I can no longer go to this store. It just makes me panicky now, also because I told him about it, it just feels "odd". He is taking it well, only thing is he misses his cream cheese that only this store carries.


Do you REALLY think you husband is getting seduced by the grocery store cashier? Do you have any idea how ridiculous this sounds?!? You're really trying to "compete" with her? Who the hell dresses up for the grocery store? Now to top it all off, you can't even go to the store anymore and you have to shop somewhere else because of panic attacks? Lady, unless your married to Channing Tatum or similar, I'm pretty sure your just incredibly insecure bordering on straight up paranoia. Get some counseling and go buy the man his damn cream cheese.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm sorry, but that's *such *a boatload of crap.


I'm not so sure. For him to up his game in response to his wife doing so is less of a stretch to me than the OP upping her game in response to some cashier in a store.


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## Good Guy (Apr 26, 2016)

I really think this is all in your head. If he was going to have an affair he would do it with singing someone you don't know as he can see how paranoid you are.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

BetrayedDad said:


> Do you REALLY think you husband is getting seduced by the grocery store cashier? Do you have any idea how ridiculous this sounds?!? You're really trying to "compete" with her? Who the hell dresses up for the grocery store? Now to top it all off, you can't even go to the store anymore and you have to shop somewhere else because of panic attacks? Lady, unless your married to Channing Tatum or similar, I'm pretty sure your just incredibly insecure bordering on straight up paranoia. Get some counseling and go buy the man his damn cream cheese.


Somebody here and in another post I placed on another forum, suggested that I look my best when shopping so that his attention is on me. Yes, I really think this girl is flirting, if you google "cashier flirting with husband" you will find many people with the same problems.

Why would you find this so odd? We live in a small town, everybody knows each other, and she shares a Facebook friend with me and my Facebook friend told me the other day that she is single and that every time she sees her at the store she is flirting with some man. I am not imagining things. She also told me she is a single mom and always posts on Facebook pictures of herself in hopes of getting flattering compliments from men.

About my husband being seduced, from what I am reading here, many think he is since he has been changing his clothing so much before going out and is so concerned about his looks. If not being seduced, I at least suspect he has been enjoying the attention. 

I am not really "dressing up" like going to some wedding, just wearing my casual jeans with glitter and a fancy shirt and getting my makeup and hair done better. 

I love my husband and will do what it takes to get his cream cheese but I prefer to go alone. I refuse to take my anxiety pills which I have been off for 5 years just for a stupid sl**.

I don't know if it's paranoia, maybe I am going through a "phase" or my hormones are acting up. I am pre-menopausal and my first wrinkles are making me feel more insecure than usual.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

Good Guy said:


> I really think this is all in your head. If he was going to have an affair he would do it with singing someone you don't know as he can see how paranoid you are.


It would be hard for him to have an affair (without me knowing something is up) being that we both work from home and do almost everything together. We are always out together. I guess the fact he never wants to leave home without me is a sign he has no desire to cheat or he's just too plain lazy.. But I will be away for a few weeks to visit family soon, but the good thing is when he is left alone he always wants me to prepare meals for him in advance so he can heat up so that he doesn't have to go grocery shopping  He hates grocery shopping by himself!


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

jenna76 said:


> if you google "cashier flirting with husband" you will find many people with the same problems.


The internet says so therefore it must be a real thing.



jenna76 said:


> just wearing my casual jeans with glitter and a fancy shirt


Fancy shirt and glitter jeans huh? No man can resist that.



jenna76 said:


> I love my husband and will do what it takes to get his cream cheese


You go girl, get that cream cheese! ***Fist bump***



jenna76 said:


> I refuse to take my anxiety pills which I have been off for 5 years just for a stupid sl**.


Off anxiety pills and currently displaying excessive amounts of anxiety. Nah, no causation there.



jenna76 said:


> I am pre-menopausal and my first wrinkles are making me feel more insecure than usual.


Do yourself a favor. Go to this grocery store with your hunk of a man. Pick up some of his favorite cream cheese. When you check out go into this sloot's check out line. When you get the cashier, as she's scanning the bar code on your cream cheese, grab your husbands face with one hand, crotch with the other, and shove your tongue down his throat until you can taste tonsils. Then look her right in her face and tell her, "So how much do I owe you for the cream cheese?" You'll never have to worry about her again.

Out of morbid curiosity, what is this brand of cream cheese that has so shook the entire small community in which you live? I'm going to be really disappointed if you say "Philadelphia Cream Cheese".


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

jenna76 said:


> We live in a small town, everybody knows each other, and she shares a Facebook friend with me and my Facebook friend told me the other day that she is single and that every time she sees her at the store she is flirting with some man. I am not imagining things. She also told me she is a single mom and always posts on Facebook pictures of herself in hopes of getting flattering compliments from men.


Hey, where did you leave your empathy?

Think about it ... poor girl, probably desperately lonely, single mom living on a pittance and probably long hours, desperate to have a real relationship and all she has time for is flirting on the job. 

She is on the way to setting herself up for a world of hurt and anguish ... so, do you or your husband know any young single lonely guys having a hard time finding someone? If so, tell them to try shopping at that store. Nothing wrong with pointing two lonely people at each other.


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

No, it's the only brand of organic cream cheese in town, haha!


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

"Out of morbid curiosity, what is this brand of cream cheese that has so shook the entire small community in which you live? I'm going to be really disappointed if you say "Philadelphia Cream Cheese".''

No, it's the only brand of organic cream cheese in town, haha!


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## jenna76 (Apr 22, 2017)

syhoybenden said:


> Hey, where did you leave your empathy?
> 
> Think about it ... poor girl, probably desperately lonely, single mom living on a pittance and probably long hours, desperate to have a real relationship and all she has time for is flirting on the job.
> 
> She is on the way to setting herself up for a world of hurt and anguish ... so, do you or your husband know any young single lonely guys having a hard time finding someone? If so, tell them to try shopping at that store. Nothing wrong with pointing two lonely people at each other.


I have all empathy in the world for singles--- until they start messing with married men! She barely acknowledges me when we go shopping (no eye contact towards me) and I think that is extremely rude. I just can't stomach shopping at that store which is an activity I used to love. Life is too short to waste shopping in a place where I no longer feel comfortable.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

jenna76 said:


> Somebody here and in another post I placed on another forum, suggested that I look my best when shopping so that his attention is on me. Yes, I really think this girl is flirting, if you google "cashier flirting with husband" you will find many people with the same problems.
> 
> Why would you find this so odd? We live in a small town, everybody knows each other, and she shares a Facebook friend with me and my Facebook friend told me the other day that she is single and that every time she sees her at the store she is flirting with some man. I am not imagining things. She also told me she is a single mom and always posts on Facebook pictures of herself in hopes of getting flattering compliments from men.
> 
> ...


So she flirts with every man? Not just your husband?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

jenna76 said:


> I have all empathy in the world for singles--- until they start messing with married men! She barely acknowledges me when we go shopping (no eye contact towards me) and I think that is extremely rude. I just can't stomach shopping at that store which is an activity I used to love. Life is too short to waste shopping in a place where I no longer feel comfortable.


This girl probably flirts with every guy who comes into the store.Just make sure she doesn't slip your husband her phone number on the receipt.


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