# My husband lied about a majority of his life



## envision

I'm really confused about what to do. Four weeks ago I found out that my husband lied about over half of what I knew about him. He lied about his education, military experience (he has none, he said he was special forces), owning a business, where he grew up, how he grew up, just everything. He said he lied about owning a business, having a college education, and being in the military because it was what he needed to do to advance in his career. Before I met him, he had these lies going for years and than I met him at work. It's not just the lies though, its the false memories as well. He said he had spent time in a juvenile delinquent facility and that he had post traumatic stress from watching his fellow inmates get beat regularly. I wasn't pleased to find out he spent time in this facility but I thought "he's really grown up and made some changes since he was a kid". He would actually cry and tell me how awful it was but he was never in a facility, he was never (according to his mother) a problematic child. My husband would also cry about killing people when he was in the military and would tell graphic stories. He was never in the military. He would use his lies to put me down. I applied for grad school and he would complain about how he had to put his dreams of grad school off because of having to wait for me to finish. He than said how much smarter he is than me because he finished college in three years and graduated with a GPA of 3.8 but he really went to a trade school for a year and failed out. He's lying about finances and blowing our money on amateur pro wrestling. He believes he can make it to WWE. He's spending a $1,000 on "training" for this amateur show and he's spent over $600 on wrestling costumes. His first show was last weekend and he put his job on the line in order to be in it. He didn't even get paid, instead he had to pay $200 to be in it because of training. 
I don't know who this person is, I don't know what to do and I'm scared. We have a six month old son and I'm afraid of leaving and letting my husband watch our son alone but I don't want to keep my son from knowing his father. We live across from my husband's parents and my mother in law finally told me the truth about his lies. I'm angry that my in laws knew he was lying to me and my family. My husband would talk about his old business (he lied and said he sold it a couple months into our dating) with my parents in front of his parents. No one has ever said anything until now. My mother in law babysits while I'm at work. I'm afraid I don't have the finances to leave, especially because the time we've been married he's blown the money. If I leave, I'll have to live in a town where the only people I know are his family and I'll have to have my mother in law babysit because even if I find the money to pay for a sitter, I work from 3p to 1am and I can't find a sitter who would be willing to work those hours. My parents mentioned me moving in with them temporarily but my mother pulled me aside and explained that my father will be retiring soon so they can't afford to help me out. I've searched for jobs up there but haven't heard from the few jobs that apply to me. I feel desperate, I want out of this but don't know where to turn or how to get help. I'm not sure what is best for my son, I need help. We are going through counseling but its not helping my anger. There are times when I'm so desperate I think I should just "accidently" run into a tree so everyone will think its an accident. I know I can't do this, because my son needs me but I just feel so desperate and stuck. Why does my husband get to continue on like nothing happened? I'm trying to keep it together for our son but I feel I've been handed this crap life because I was lied to about everything. He said he owned a nice four bedroom two story house that he rented out. My husband said that the renters always tell him how thankful they are that he rented it to them so cheap and its such a nice house. When I became pregnant, I told him we needed to move into the house because at the time, I was making very little and we couldn't afford rent where we were and the baby. He wouldn't let me look at the house until two weeks before we moved in. It's falling apart. It's a two bedroom one bath one story built in 1945. He would point at the house next door and say it was his. His mother told the truth and when I said something to my husband about why did he lie, he said that he never lied, I must have heard him wrong. This was the first lie so I believed him, I thought I must have just heard wrong.


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## Amplexor

Your husband is a compulsive liar and is unlikely to change. How long have you been married? Do you wish a life like this? Do you love him? Based on what I see here it would be best for you to move on. Staying with your parents for a short period might be the best answer to have a chance to establish employment in a new area. Since he has lied to you from the beginning an annulment might be a better option. Good luck.


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## envision

We've been married for over a year. I don't want this life but I don't want to harm my son. I keep thinking that if I leave, my son will resent me when he grows up for leaving especially since I doubt my husband would take any of the blame. I just want to know that I'll be able to make it on my own, find a new job, have a home, give my son a better life than if I stayed.


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## humpty dumpty

you fell in love and married a liar your feelings are for someone else some one who fought wars went to grad school and came out tops after a bad youth your husband is only to fault !! you deserve the truth as does your son be brave be strong you deserve better


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## Melancholy

I agree, you fell in love with a lie and now you know the truth. This person you are now married to is not your husband nor the man you fell in love with. If he can lie about things as big as an education and military experience (killing people) then I don't see how he can honest with you in any of your daily dealings.

I don't like the thought of a divorce when kids are involved, but in this case, I think you may be helping both yourself and your son by leaving this man. Your son needs a good role model, not an actor or a faker.


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## raising5boyz

Get out now. Your son will eventually learn what a liar his father is and be grateful that you wanted a better life for him. Your son is so young that he won't even feel the affects of a divorce as an older child would. He will be raised without his father, and not know any different. Better yet, at some point he could have a wonderful step-father to help raise him to be a great man.


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## draconis

Your husband has lied to you, but he is lying for more reasons than to make himself feel better. He wants to feel supperior to you. He wants to control your emotions and moods by always having a worse story. If your husband has done what you said, move in with your parents, because he will continue to do these sort of things for the rest of his life.

Can you imagine living like this for the rest of your life, not trusting anything he says?

draconis


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## voivod

the WWE!?!? i'm sorry, i'd laugh if it wasn't so sad.

you know what i think? i think you ought to get all the people who know him together and do an intervention. y'know what i mean?


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## Enigma1964

Do not feel alone. I am in a very, very similiar situation.The hurdles I need to cross differ from yours, but I feel as if I just read about my husband. 
We met four years ago and married 3 years ago. He said he had a Bachelors degree, was a career military man, worked special operations and was 'nearly beaten to death' while stationed in/near Columbia. 
He "retired" from the service a few months after we met, and worked at a funeral home. He was laid off. I was wondering why he wasn't getting a pension, but finances were fine and it was not something that stuck in the forefront of my mind. This was nearly three years ago. 
Now we are on the brink of bankruptcy and I've started harping about the retirement. He keeps telling me his discharge papers are incorrect. I got a copy of those papers, did a little math and research and learned the papers were not wrong. He lied about having enough years to retire (he started as a reserve in the military then went full-time).
Last week I learned a few kernals of truth for the first time.
He never went to college. He lied about his youth and the 'tough' neighborhood he was brought up in. He lies about where he worked, just "couldn't remember" ever filing for unemployment even though an 'overpayment' statement from another state arrives each month (I finally got him to fess up to that one). 

My husband thinks/believes he is going to start a band and dropped $5000 on guitars. I have a decent job and can pay the bills as long as he does not throw money out the window, which he seems to do every month, which in turn put us in this financial mess. My father bailed us out - this is before I knew about the lies - now I am embarrassed to say anything to my father or accept any more financial help from him. 

I did cut-off my husband's access to money. He handed over his credit and ATM card as well as gas cards, etc. Now I give him $20 cash each week that he can use 'to throw out the window'. I use the rest to buy 'real stuff' like groceries and pay the mortgage. 

Now, my husband has contacted the VA and is trying for a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder disability. I could just scream! I will not assist him in weaving his tale in any way, shape or form.

Lie after lie after lie - from everyday stupid stuff like saying he called the cable company, to telling family members we sent them Christmas gifts that must be delayed due to weather (we never sent anything!), to telling everyone we meet that he is a Pastor (no idea where that came from), to lying about his life.

The really sad part is that his 13-year old daughter is the same way. As long as I can remember she has lied about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g - even stuff like taking a shower or brushing her teeth. She lies simply for the sake of lying. I aksed her once to try and go one week without telling a lie; she told me that it was impossible. 

I'd love to give my husband the the boot, but the 'human' side of me knows he does not have any money to go anywhere (no friends either), and I can't send my step-children to the street. Their mother likes to beat her kids (that is one of the few things I do know is actually true), so my heart won't allow me to send them back to her. 

I just don't know what to do.

He swears, he'll stop lying - then lies the next day to the grocery clerk. I know he will never stop lying and I will never fully trust him. That is not a life I want to live. 

I think the only thing that I believe is he very well could be a pathological liar ~ since the trait rolled straight downhill to his daughter. 

I just don't know what step I should take next - divorce is a given; it's the logistics of how to do it without my step-children paying the price of their father's mistakes that has me in a quandry. I love them as my own. 

Since there isn't any potential for violence, waiting it out in the same house is tolerable, but I can't do it forever. 

Right now, I am at a loss. Make that, I am in limbo.


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## solsticebeast

Amplexor said:


> Your husband is a compulsive liar and is unlikely to change. How long have you been married? Do you wish a life like this? Do you love him? Based on what I see here it would be best for you to move on. Staying with your parents for a short period might be the best answer to have a chance to establish employment in a new area. Since he has lied to you from the beginning an annulment might be a better option. Good luck.


Unfortunately, an annulment isn't doable if they've been married for longer than 6 months. It does vary from state to state but it's usually 6 months and you have to have solid reasons for it.

Contrary to popular belief, an Annulment is only granted to those whose marriage is illegal and shouldn't exist in the first place. Even then of course, proving that your marriage is illegal and therefore qualifies for an Annulment can be harder than you think. 

The predefined scenarios or grounds for Annulment are different from State to State. Here is a list of the the most common ones:

Polygamy 
Insanity 
Impotence 
Incompetence 
Incest 
Mental Disability 
Duress 
Fraud 

To get an Annulment, you must convince a Judge that your marriage is illegal (see grounds above). To do so, you will likely need the help of an Attorney who specializes in Annulment cases. With that in mind, an Annulment will usually be more expensive than a divorce since the Attorney's fees will quickly add up to thousands of dollars. 

Having been married for only a short period of time is not a valid ground for Annulment. Living together (cohabitation) at any time could disqualify you from an Annulment. A Canonical Annulment, given by the Catholic Church, is not a real Annulment.


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## div2wice

Wow, this sounds so very familiar. My ex was a pathological liar and he was GOOD at it. You could not tell he was lying, not from his words, his actions, nothing... until later in our marriage he got sloppy: slipped up, could not remember his stories, etc.
Come to find out, he has BiPolar. Excessive lying, ridiculous spending, etc. are all signs.
I'm not saying your husband is sick, but the fact that he lied about everything, and his spending raises a red flag.
An annulment IS possible if you've been married more than 6 months, the actual/most common cut off is usually 1-2 years.


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## justean

Melancholy said:


> I agree, you fell in love with a lie and now you know the truth. This person you are now married to is not your husband nor the man you fell in love with. If he can lie about things as big as an education and military experience (killing people) then I don't see how he can honest with you in any of your daily dealings.
> 
> I don't like the thought of a divorce when kids are involved, but in this case, I think you may be helping both yourself and your son by leaving this man. Your son needs a good role model, not an actor or a faker.


:iagree: and coming from experience, my ex constantly lied about similar stuff. he is stil like it now and weve been split 15 yrs.
once a liar always a liar.
liars dont stick up for you either and you tend to cover up for a liar for the embarrassment they cause you.
so you end up lieing with them.
its not a healthy marriage and as for staying for your son, thats also staying for the wrong reason.
id take the offer from your mother. but thats me.


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## Tim

Envision. You husband has a personality disorder (PD), and from the sounds of it you are in this relationship for his benefit only....not yours.

I am currently suffering the consequences of being in a relationship with a PD and all I can say is destruction follows them...

You need to get out of this. Go see a lawyer and tell them everything. I followed advice from Justean a lot and it has helped tremendously. Let me pass on some advice I got from this forum...go see a lawyer. Put everything on credit ok? You need to get full custody and get him to pay child support and alamony. Trust me the law is on your side. 

Your worse off than I am from the sounds of it. Take responsibility for trusting the wrong person k? Cause no one else will. Get out now.


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## Xzandersmommy

I am in the same boat ladies, i have been married for 4 years, been together for almost 11. i have a 3 year old son and 2 step children who are 12 and 13. my husband is one of those that either pays no attention to his kids, 10 minutes or less or in implementing a punishment which i like to call over kill. for example the other night our 3 year old was throwing a fit which he does often, according to his social worker ignoring the behavior will be more effective than drawing attention to it but my husband wont hear of it. so he snapped a towel at him, missing the first time and did it again then he slapped his bottom once the her turned him toward his room and helped him their by leading the way with his hair. (I hate when he does this but there are never any marks and becuase its not hugely forceful its not child abuse). we recently moved out of state, my husband swore he would get a job, I have had to ask my dad for $6000 so far and its only been 4 months. so here i am without friends and he is always behind me if uim on the phone and when i tekll him who is on the phone he rolls his eyes. when it conmes to my friends he always tells me why they are no good. the other day he said he was afraid of me going home for my sisters wedding becuase he thinks someone will talk me into staying there and he got me thinking so i ordered a background check and started looking into things the way I should have in the beginning. my husband lied about everything. he really isnt a leap yearc baby he is a march 1st baby, he didnt get a scholarship for college, he never even attended college. he took lots of trips 2 hours from home but he never felt i should know, he is addicted to video games. the only reason he tolerates me is becuase I have a mental instability (i have anxiety which i obtained before christmas becuase of a miscarraige, i had an emergency D and C becuase i was hemeraging severly) he told me he killed 2 people and according to the details he would have at least 1 charge of mansluaghter, i did the background check becuase the other day he says to me, "i have to big of a heart to kill anyone....... purposely" he has asked woman onoline to show their breast and he has had what i call internet affairs. i dont know what to do, i have a place to go back home and im going there in august but i feel like I am losing it, I use to go to the gym until he told me I was neglecting my wifely duties. I am afraid I will lose my son if i leave him. i dont know what to do


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## Locard

When I hear these stories after the fact it makes me wonder, did everyone WANT to believe so bad that they threw common sense out the window? To lead someone into a marriage on false pretenses is dispicable, sorry to hear your story.


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## hornet023

I am a husband of one of the posters on this site and ya know what i don't see? I don't see people pointing out thier own flaws.It takes 2 to make a marriage work and i did tell a few lies but they were lies i had told years before when i was messed up from my previous marriage.They were NOT told just to get my wife to marry me,they were fabricated as a defence mechanism for coping.Was it wrong? Absolutely but they were minor and petty and had nothing to do with my current wife.I Posted the truth to all of them for every one to see because i should have shed myself of them years ago but was not self confident enough to do so.The fact is i love my wife with all of my heart and soul and our children.So please do not be judgmental.Also my wife had a horrible miscarriage and was diagnosed with post pardum depression and anxiety.We went through a miscarriage,a really bad moving company that stole from us and forced us to pay extra money and then Work is very scarce so we have been financially screwed up,no breaks from the kids so we can enjoy grown up time ,my wife goes to online college full time and the 3 year old is very rambunctious kid,and the 2 older boys can be a pill since they were on school summer vacation.(Shewwww) I have stood by her through these 11 years through good times and bad and when things got to where she could not cope she ran.What if i had done that when she was having her miscarriage? "oh i can't cope C-ya" and left.I hope i have made my point here that there are 2 sides to every story and i gladly fess up to my problems and she has never admitted to hers.


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## southernmagnolia

You didn't fess up to anything, all you did was make excuses. 

You are a fraud and a con man by lying to her from the beginning. You made her feel like everything she knew since you was a fake, facade. 

She said how you handled discipline was verging on child abuse and that you were not a dad who was hands on and she said you had internet affairs. 

So she left uh, I say that it's EXCELLENT that she did leave you sorry no good for nothing lying cheating ass. :smthumbup::smthumbup:

Instead of making excuses you need to man up and get real or suffer your own misery that you created. 




hornet023 said:


> I am a husband of one of the posters on this site and ya know what i don't see? I don't see people pointing out thier own flaws.It takes 2 to make a marriage work and i did tell a few lies but they were lies i had told years before when i was messed up from my previous marriage.They were NOT told just to get my wife to marry me,they were fabricated as a defence mechanism for coping.Was it wrong? Absolutely but they were minor and petty and had nothing to do with my current wife.I Posted the truth to all of them for every one to see because i should have shed myself of them years ago but was not self confident enough to do so.The fact is i love my wife with all of my heart and soul and our children.So please do not be judgmental.Also my wife had a horrible miscarriage and was diagnosed with post pardum depression and anxiety.We went through a miscarriage,a really bad moving company that stole from us and forced us to pay extra money and then Work is very scarce so we have been financially screwed up,no breaks from the kids so we can enjoy grown up time ,my wife goes to online college full time and the 3 year old is very rambunctious kid,and the 2 older boys can be a pill since they were on school summer vacation.(Shewwww) I have stood by her through these 11 years through good times and bad and when things got to where she could not cope she ran.What if i had done that when she was having her miscarriage? "oh i can't cope C-ya" and left.I hope i have made my point here that there are 2 sides to every story and i gladly fess up to my problems and she has never admitted to hers.


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## silveryposter

raising5boyz said:


> Get out now. Your son will eventually learn what a liar his father is and be grateful that you wanted a better life for him. Your son is so young that he won't even feel the affects of a divorce as an older child would. He will be raised without his father, and not know any different. Better yet, at some point he could have a wonderful step-father to help raise him to be a great man.


I'm usually all for working things out, but your entire relationship is based on lies. What Raising said, GET OUT NOW!!!


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## hornet023

You reply to my message like i knew people would.... this day and age it is so easy just to quit everything and pass the blame to someone else than it is to work at a marriage and be a mature adult about things.You base your opinion on what she said not what the actual facts maybe.See the problem is if she really cared about her family and marriage as she said she does, Instead of the area of (thinking about leaving/divorce section) it should have been the section on how to save her marriage or counselors to help.your ramblings are nothing but those of a food critic (bad opinion) and the sounds of an old bitter person that cares not if you are innocent because the woman is ALWAYS right.Half of what she is saying is blown way out of proportion for that fact she HAS (fact) severe Postpardum anxiety witch effects her perception of the events.I wish it was all my fault and not postpardum.No woman should have to deal with what it does and the toll it take on her.I would rather be the one begging forgiveness and then if i lost her i would know that it was because i caused it and deserved it.But to lose her to a fixable disorder is hard to accept and hurts even more.I wish you could have been around before the miscarriage..... all our friends envied how much in love we are and the relationship we had for 10 years.Anyway think what you want cuz no matter what i say your going to verbally strike me down.I never made excuses i told the truth witch makes me more of a man for doing so.I am in counseling because i want to save my marriage.I am doing it for me because i want to be the best husband and father i can be.Oh and 5 lies even though it was wrong does not justify her saying that our whole relationship was a lie....She has a few skeletons as well but i will not lower myself (the past is the past)


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## HelloooNurse

I have no sympathy for you, hornet. It sounds quite obvious that you are just angry that you got busted. The truth is out now, and if your wife leaves you, you only have yourself to blame. Out of curiosity though - do you actually believe all your lies? I read somewhere that people who constantly lie through their teeth eventually BELIEVE those lies to be the truth (because they have being lying about these things for years so they sort of forget what the truth actually is). Maybe that is why you are angry - you have forgotten that they actually ARE lies.


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## hornet023

HelloooNurse said:


> I have no sympathy for you, hornet. It sounds quite obvious that you are just angry that you got busted. The truth is out now, and if your wife leaves you, you only have yourself to blame. Out of curiosity though - do you actually believe all your lies? I read somewhere that people who constantly lie through their teeth eventually BELIEVE those lies to be the truth (because they have being lying about these things for years so they sort of forget what the truth actually is). Maybe that is why you are angry - you have forgotten that they actually ARE lies.


Say what you will.......Such hatred here .......these replies are the reason marriages die.....none of you have compassion or hope for anything good.It saddens me to see .......Good luck to you and god bless


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## WhereAmI

hornet023 said:


> Say what you will.......Such hatred here .......these replies are the reason marriages die.....none of you have compassion or hope for anything good.It saddens me to see .......Good luck to you and god bless


Manipulations aren't as easy to pull off online. What a shame.

Even though you claim to be a man for owning up to your deception, you're minimizing the situation. You didn't tell five simple lies. You misrepresented your life experience entirely while showing what your wife believed to be real emotion. How could she believe anything you say at this point? I wish you came here to share your side of the story and it added another dimension. Unfortunately, you seem to be the same man your W referred to in the OP.

Replies on message board do not kill marriages. Lies, however, do. Stop looking outward to solve your problems. Best of luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Atholk

Dude is crazy. There's no fix for this.


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## Melissa2014

Hello, I am new here and just really in need of writing this down until I am able to speak with a professional face to face. 

Husband and I just applied for a VA refinance loan. I ordered a copy of his DD214 from a research website. Imagine my surprise and now, horror, when I discovered he did not have one, because he spent one year in an ROTC program, not the military. He was never Special Forces. Long story short, there is a whopping gamut of information he just made up. Being in the Phillipines, being SF....all lies.

I am beside myself. I mean the avalanche of thoughts flooding my brain is uncontrollable. If he lied about this, what else did he lie about? What else IS he lying about? 

And our friends and family? People who I have told, "my husband did such and such?" 

He is an excellent husband in so many ways, but now I know he is "that guy." Some guy who made up a bunch of crap to make people think he was a something he definitely was NOT, never was, not even close. 

We have so many conversations about his training, the academy for his SF, ....I mean he talked about these things freely. Jesus...what the hell..

Any advice? Opinions? I keep hoping this is a bad dream and I'll wake up...

Thank you in advance...


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## EleGirl

Melissa2014,

You posted this on a thread that is several years old. 

Please start a new thread and copy/past your above post into that thread. This way you will get some support for all of us here.


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## richie33

You should start a new post. You will get more responses.


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## JASON58

Get caught in one lie and anything after that is not worth listening too..
What really gets me is if i seen anybody leading a 3 yr old boy /girl by there hair, they would be laying on there back and that's a promise..
That just turns my stomach to think about innocent children being abused.


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## DarkOnyxe

hornet023 said:


> Say what you will.......Such hatred here .......these replies are the reason marriages die.....none of you have compassion or hope for anything good.It saddens me to see .......Good luck to you and god bless


I realize this post is several years old but i feel oblogated to say something. I was a poster to this thread a few years back and i have recently been reevaluating my life. My marriage ended because i myself was mentally ill and i was trying to cope, yes my husband lied about things and back then and i was searching everywhere for an answer to question that merely needed some positive influence. When i was looking for a way to handle my life talked to everyone..in laws, domestic violence groups, friends, and posts such as this one. I look back now knowing that if one person had given me something to hold onto i wouldnt have ran away but hornet is right, there is a lot of hatred and negativity. When i talked to the domestic violence hot lines they assured me he would get worse and beat me and the children, that it would never get better and it was all his fault, i talked to friends and family and they all told me to leave with exception of ny sister in law who told me to stay for the kids sake and that its probably not as bad as it seems. I talked to my mother in law who told me to leav for a year, if he waited for me then he truley loved me but she also said she didnt think he did, that he was like his father and that she was sure he was cheating on me. After i left the downward spiral i call life insued. I let what people were saying influence my life and not what i needed... i needed help mentally and physically, i suffered from ptsd, post partum, anxiety... it was horrible and i was alone all i had were people backing my negative thoughts and feelings. Its been 4 years.. i divorced my husband and dived straight into a loveless abusive marriage..why? Because i was jealous.. yes i said jealous. He had everything, a woman, bought a house, had a nice car, he was giving her everything i ever wanted and he was happy but i was miserable..i was trying to fill the void in my heart that i now know will never be filled. Im now single with a baby fro. My second marriage..where my current husband was a truely abusive man, the last i seen him he tried to choke the life out of me, he took everything, my money, my home, my vehicle and went of with another woman but still expected me to stay around as his ATM and wife. Why did i get married again? I guess it was my way of still running, was i happy no, did i love my new husband? I guess.. but he wasnt who i wanted not truley. I took the words of people i trusted and strangers. What i didnt do was talk to my husband about what i discovered and how i felt. I now realize several things. Communication is everything even if its something you dont want to talk about. If you cant tell them whats wrong then you can never find a solution to your problem. I think he lied to me because he thought that being a plain person wasnt good enough, maybe he thought that if i new he didnt do anything extravagant with his life that i wouldn't love him. And the same goes for me, if i told him how i felt or what was going on inside my head he would (and i was told this) have me put in a mental hospital and leave with my kids. I ran so he couldnt take my babies away, i ran so i wouldnt get put i an institution, i ran because every fiber of my being was scared of everything all the time. Anxiety is a cruel sickness and you dont think straight. I am now on medication for depression and anxiety but it took a long time to get my meds correct. I know this post is really long but i hope you all can see that a little positivity can go a long way. And the fact that this man came on here and opened up about mistakes is huge, most men would not bother and he got cut down and called names.. i dont consider my current husband my husband at all, i walked away from the one and only man i will ever be able to give my heart to because i was told to by so many people and stupidly i let their advice and personal thoughts go to my head. Am i happy now? No and i dont think i ever will be, is he happy now? I hope. He deserves it, and thats all i can want from him now. I surrendered my right to have his heart and by doing so i think i gave my soul mate away. My punishment..to never have that whole hearted contentment again and i deserve that. Could we ever work it out? Doubtful, he is happily devoted to another woman and i doubt that he could ever trust me to stay if we did but believe me if i had the chance i would cherish every moment in a way you could only understand if you have been through what i have.. so all i ask is that when offering advice yo anyone on post like these keep an open mind because you dont know the whole story and typed words dont carry emotions. You dont ever really know the truth. Even now if i had the chance to tell him all of this i dont think i would because i am weak and scared. I dont want to destroy the life he has now, not if he is truly happy. Some people never find what we had and i wqlked away..so please, before forming such solid opinions, offer an ear that will listen but dont be so negative, sometimes typing words doesnt express the fear, pain, sadness.. a little positivity could save a marriage like i had.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MachoMcCoy

WOW. I'll be back later. I need to get back to work. 

Be careful what you advise here people.

Thank you DO.

Wow.


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## DanielleBennett

Lying is never good and eventually it blows up in your face. Did he openly tell you the truth about his life before he met you or did you find out? Maybe he can go into individual counseling and you two can also attend marital counseling for this.


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