# Women in their 40's



## happyhubst3r (Mar 21, 2012)

So I have heard a lot of references to women in thier
40's. What exactly is this? Do women desire sex or masterbation more, like a guy in his 20's??? Just wondering if anyone had some input on this. Wife and I are 
32 so just wondering what will happen, but still have a ways to go of course
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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Well, if she's like my wife she will get a lot more comfortable with herself and you. She will continue learning about her body and her mind and the things that work for her and don't work for her. Little things that used to bother her won't. And she'll get sexy as all get out. The "IT" factor I call it. Can't quite put my finger on it but my wife has it!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'm almost 36 and I have to say, these are the best years of my life  Sexually, esteem-wise, and just overall contentment with myself.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My STBXW never hit a sexual peak. Or if she did, it happened one day when I was at work. So I wouldn't count on it.

My GF has a sex drive (at 43) very similar to my on. Daily is good for us, if we can swing it.

C
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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Heard about it, never saw it with my wife. She is now 45.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Some women reach this peak... others do not. My wife for example is 43, going through menopause and never had anything resembling an increase in desire.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Dina said:


> Are you of similar age or are you in your 20's?


I'm 44, my STBXW is 41. She was happy with once a week or less, pretty consistently through our marriage until the last year or so, when less was more.

C
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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

My sex drive has almost always been fairly high but it has got higher since my late 30's. 
Definitely doesn't happen to all women though....some want sex less than ever before...you just don't know what's going to happen until you get there.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

waiwera said:


> My sex drive has almost always been fairly high but it has got higher since my late 30's.
> Definitely doesn't happen to all women though....some want sex less than ever before...you just don't know what's going to happen until you get there.


Yeah to be honest, my wife's drive went from low to just about nil during the late 30's.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

My wife is 38. It hit about 3 months ago. Around the middle of her cycle I simply can't keep up.


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

I'm in my mid 40's and my sex drive went thru the roof a few years ago. Better than ever! I fantasized about my H all day and wanted it all the time. We actually had a huge fight over it last year and H told me to "do what I have to do" to satisfy my cravings:banghead:
Anyway, he just told me 5 weeks ago he wants a separation..........certainly not from lack of sex! He just doesn't love me anymore. So here I am, alone, with all of this wasted desire and without a man's touch. 
Hopefully if I ever meet someone in the future, the desire will still be there and he will appreciate it.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

happyhubst3r said:


> So I have heard a lot of references to women in thier
> 40's. What exactly is this? Do women desire sex or masterbation more, like a guy in his 20's??? Just wondering if anyone had some input on this. Wife and I are
> 32 so just wondering what will happen, but still have a ways to go of course
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think that it's a very individual thing... some women are more comfortable in their own skins, more confident, the changing hormonal mix they encounter during perimenopause (the years of hormonal fluctuations before a woman goes through menopause) can have a positive (or a negative) effect - often the vaginal tissues thin due to those changes and initially can be very benficial as it makes everything feel much better - in some it can go too far and it ends up feeling more painful. Many women are done having children and their children are older/grown and they have more free time to devote to things they enjoy and to their relationships. 

I think you have to just be willing to roll with it ... whatever happens. If she gets into a peak, then go with it happily. If she doesn't, then don't fret about it. Either way is normal, and so is everything in between.

You and your wife can (and should) educate yourself about what kinds of changes could be on the horizon. Couple of good resources that really helped me:

Amazon.com: What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About(TM): Premenopause: Balance Your Hormones and Your Life from Thirty to Fifty (9780446615396): John R. Lee, Jesse Hanley, Virginia Hopkins: Books

Amazon.com: Menopause For Dummies (9780470053430): Marcia L. Jones, Theresa Eichenwald, Nancy W. Hall: Books

Best wishes.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

"My STBXW never hit a sexual peak. Or if she did, it happened one day when I was at work. So I wouldn't count on it"

PBear, this cracked me up! I must have been working that day too!


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

It most definately happened to me. Then the EA knocked me down so Im hoping it'll pick back up. But the simple answer is.....it is true.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm almost 46 and I've always been HD then last year it just DIED. Menopause stinks. I'm now on hormones and it's back - thankfully. I missed it.

I will say my 40's are FABULOUS for self esteem, sexual confidence, etc. Like LadyFrog I can rock a bikini and am more adventurous than I ever was before. I LOVE being this age. So far it's my favorite.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

daffodilly said:


> My drive skyrocketed in the middle of my 39th year....came off BCP too which probably played a factor as well. .


This is huge. I forgot about that. I got off BCPs when I was 38 and it made a BIG difference.

My sister jokes that the reason the pill works is because it makes you NOT want to have sex. No I didn't have this problem but she did.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Oddly enough, my GF is back on BCP's (to regulate her cycle), plus she's got a tumor that should also be affecting her sex drive. I'm scared to think about what she'd be like if those two things weren't impacting her!

C
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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

i've heard that the libido hits a peak in late 30s-mid 40s. 

I missed that time frame with my wife, we met in our 50s, but her drives and our level of activity are FAR better than with my ex. (She says she was very high drive in her 40s, I somewhat regret missing that opportunity … ) 

My ex and I didn't mesh at all sexually, and our activity became less and less frequent over time.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> This is huge. I forgot about that. I got off BCPs when I was 38 and it made a BIG difference.
> 
> My sister jokes that the reason the pill works is because it makes you NOT want to have sex. No I didn't have this problem but she did.


Big big hit for my wife too. It didn't happen early on. It wasn't until much later when her drive started dropping and figured out the BC was a big contributor.


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