# Delicate issue and what to do



## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

Sorry if this is TMI but am really hurt and not sure what to do.

Last night I went to bed on my own. My H said he would be up soon. I was looking forward to some cosying up as we have finally moved the youngest out of our bedroom into their own room and we were saying it was great to have our space back.

Anyhow, he came up to bed, got in. I kinda spooned into him and made my intentions obvious. He reciprocated for a minute then stopped. Turned out he didn't want to do it as I'm at the end of my period and he didn't want to get messy and have a shower at1am. Asked if I wanted a hand instead.

I completely understand but... I'm super hurt. I explained it was really hard to inititate so blatantly and be turned down. I should say usually being on my period isn't an issue for either of us, in fact two days ago it cettainly wasn't a problem!

I just feel mortified and hurt, he says don't take it personally and thinks I'm being waaaay over-sensitive.

Help!
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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

That rejection thing hurts. It happens to us all, though, it seems.
Is it chronic?


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## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

No. It happens rarely tbh. I think it is pretty loaded because of something he said a couple of months ago about me initiating and we didn't *have* to get down to it so often. I've steered clear of doing it from that, and also as I realize he likes the chase. Conversely he likes it when I take charge sometimes so hey...

Anyhow we had a super good evening and given our new found freedom of having our room to ourselves I thought it was all good. I'm probably being super sensitive I guess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LizzieBot (Jul 20, 2011)

I think it's perfectly normal to feel hurt because of the rejection. As women, we probably view our attempts to initiate sex as an offering of ourselves, and being told "No" sometimes can feel more like a "I don't want you" or a "You're not attractive right now" sort of thing (even if that isn't the case). I'm sure guys have a similar problem. 

At any rate, I personally find it a little weird that you initiated and he was sort of interested for a minute, then decided he just didn't want to bother with the mess. It's really not that messy if you put down some towels on the floor, and even if it was.... hey, it's your first night with your room to yourselves again. I'd feel like celebrating too, but maybe your husband isn't feeling well or something so give him a little break while asking him to be more mindful of your feelings in the future. Can't hurt.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Why didn't you take him up on his offer of a hand?


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