# What is the #1 thing you wish your wife would do?



## rush

Curious to your answers here


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## heartsbeating

I know my husband would like me to cook more. He's the main chef in our home and enjoys cooking, so it's not for necessity, but because he sees it as a display of love.


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## YupItsMe

More 

1. BJ
2. Revealing nightwear
3. Plan more activities together 

Everything else is good


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## RClawson

1. cut the erotic literature crap and put that energy into our sex life.


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## imtamnew

Take care of herself and be happy.


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## Wiltshireman

Communicate clearly, say what she means and mean what she says, no more hints / innuendoes expecting me to guess or somehow know what she wants by magic or telepathy.

mini rant over, sorry.


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## Gomerpyle

I already told her. Get a pizza. Should be here in about ten minutes. 

Not joking either. If there was anything other than that I wanted, I would tell her. Pretty simple, if the wife has her priorities straight.


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## rush

Come home


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## CuddleBug

My number one thing was for her to start getting a sex drive, get in shape and go to a gym. She is doing all that.:smthumbup:


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## Thor

Be honest.


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## richie33

Leave the past in the past.


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## Married but Happy

Continue being true to herself. She already does everything I could hope for, and more.


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## 1977hc

Be more responsible with money. She's always been carried by our parents and never had to work hard to support herself. She's never had a mortgage payment or utility bills. The only bill she's had is a car bill/insurance. This is one reason why she spends like crazy and doesn't realize how hard money is to make.


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## ChargingCharlie

CuddleBug said:


> My number one thing was for her to start getting a sex drive, get in shape and go to a gym. She is doing all that.:smthumbup:


Let me know your secret. Mine is complaining about her weight, and she is wanting to do something about it (I think she's starting to watch her diet better, and is talking about exercise), so it's the sex drive that I'd like to see. I'd love to get us up to once a week (which to some of you is a sexless marriage, but would seem like a lot to me).


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## keeper63

It's a toss up between her being more confident around me and her letting me come in her mouth.


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## jld

MrAvg said:


> Allow herself to see the beauty I see when I look at her. IE: better body image.


This sounds exactly like my dh. We women have a really hard time doing this. Honestly, I am not sure we can, as the conditioning is so strong.


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## Hurtin_Still

....finally understand the pain she has inflicted on me...and tell the truth.


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## Stonewall

Be happy!


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## OhGeesh

Assuming she continues to keep all of her awesome attributes she has now? Make more money $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!! Another 20-30k/yr would be nice


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## techmom

OhGeesh said:


> Assuming she continues to keep all of her awesome attributes she has now? Make more money $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!! Another 20-30k/yr would be nice


Golddigger 

just kidding lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## okeydokie

Clean up all her piles of useless junk so our house is somewhat clean


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## Racer

I just wish she’d pay attention to how she presents herself to me most of the time and change it.

Explanation; It rarely feels like she’s trying to impress me. I already see your gut, cottage cheese thighs, know you have a headache and stuffy nose. Your bathroom habits and the sloth cloth are known to me through my not so keen observation skills. 

So: There is zero f’n reason at all to make sure you point all this out verbally, constantly, and repetitively until “death do us part”. What are you trying to prove by making a case that your are truly hideous, repulsive, and leak foulness from every orifice? What’s the end game here? Sympathy? It’s working. I am feeling sorry for myself.... It gets harder to see you how I want to see you when you do everything you can to prove me wrong. You make such a good case and cover up the rest in your nanna jammies that are “comfy”. 

Why did you stop trying to impress me by showing off the best you have to offer instead of putting on display and beating into me the worst of you should be all I see?


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## Vorlon

Find a way to be happy and enjoy the life she has.


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## Anon Pink

Racer said:


> I just wish she’d pay attention to how she presents herself to me most of the time and change it.
> 
> Explanation; It rarely feels like she’s trying to impress me. I already see your gut, cottage cheese thighs, know you have a headache and stuffy nose. Your bathroom habits and the sloth cloth are known to me through my not so keen observation skills.
> 
> So: There is zero f’n reason at all to make sure you point all this out verbally, constantly, and repetitively until “death do us part”. What are you trying to prove by making a case that your are truly hideous, repulsive, and leak foulness from every orifice? What’s the end game here? Sympathy? It’s working. I am feeling sorry for myself.... It gets harder to see you how I want to see you when you do everything you can to prove me wrong. You make such a good case and cover up the rest in your nanna jammies that are “comfy”.
> 
> Why did you stop trying to impress me by showing off the best you have to offer instead of putting on display and beating into me the worst of you should be all I see?


That is actually touching and poignant at the same time so very sad. Have you tried to share these exact sentiments with her?


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## romantic_guy

On a personal level, I would like her to have more self-confidence. She has a great personality, is extremely competent, smart, good looking, etc. I wish she could see that in herself. 

On a sexual level, there isn't much. She does not do BJs but her hand-jobs are so awesome, I really don't care. I do wish she would initiate more often, but even that isn't a big deal.


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## I Notice The Details

I wish my wife would initiate more.

I also wish she was more self confident with her body and could lose some of her old inhibitions.


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## darkwing

More sex. Once a week dry sex means nothing. I need her to surprise me.


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## WestCoastBeachBoy

just at least pretend to care about getting her pre-pregnancy body back


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## Thunder7

Don't know if this is an exact answer to this question but my wife has absolutley horrendous time management skills. It drives me friggin' bonkers. So, maybe the question I answered is what do I wish she would do better.


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## okeydokie

Thunder7 said:


> Don't know if this is an exact answer to this question but my wife has absolutley horrendous time management skills. It drives me friggin' bonkers. So, maybe the question I answered is what do I wish she would do better.


Mine too, starts many projects, finishes none


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## Davelli0331

Stop being so worried about being right and instead focus on us solving problems and moving on to the next target.

My W will go to such great lengths and will use such technical/logical arguments to try and prove she's "right" about an issue that the argument becomes about that instead of whatever the original issue was. Meanwhile the original issue doesn't get solved.

However, I need to work on this very issue myself. I just wish one of us had a bit less pride to just let these things go.


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## GettingIt_2

Davelli0331 said:


> Stop being so worried about being right and instead focus on us solving problems and moving on to the next target.
> 
> My W will go to such great lengths and will use such technical/logical arguments to try and prove she's "right" about an issue that the argument becomes about that instead of whatever the original issue was. Meanwhile the original issue doesn't get solved.
> 
> However, I need to work on this very issue myself. I just wish one of us had a bit less pride to just let these things go.


Ugh, wife here chiming in to say that was our dynamic exactly. Took some doing, but we're breaking it, finally. I remember so many long arguments that ended up being about how we were arguing, what we THOUGHT the other person said, accusing the other person of purposefully distorting meaning and intent, disagreements about what "is" is, etc, etc. We never did get around to any productive progress on whatever we we started out discussing. 

Totally sucked.


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## Davelli0331

GettingIt said:


> Ugh, wife here chiming in to say that was our dynamic exactly. Took some doing, but we're breaking it, finally. I remember so many long arguments that ended up being about how we were arguing, what we THOUGHT the other person said, accusing the other person of purposefully distorting meaning and intent, disagreements about what "is" is, etc, etc. We never did get around to any productive progress on whatever we we started out discussing.
> 
> Totally sucked.


OMG yes. We have gotten into so many disagreements that morphed into arguing over the definitions of specific words, why certain other words would have been better, pointing out logical fallacies, etc. Of course by that point the disagreement has escalated into a battle of wills that's now more about defending your honor than it is solving a problem. That dynamic can make even the smallest disagreement into a day-ruining snit.

Like I said, we're both bad about it. We've gotten much better about it over the last couple years, but it takes a lot of very cognizant and intentional behavior on both our parts to keep these things from escalating.


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## PeaceTrain

Just one her to be little soft humble logical. Oh that's a 3 things.... Just don't be angry/bitter with me for no good reason.

Amazing the contraction between men and women considering the same thread and how they get replied.


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## mxpx4182

Commit to working full time (40 hours) while I'm finishing gradschool, or commit herself to finishing her Associate's Degree while working part time.

Right now she's working 20 hours a week minimum wage and not in school.


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## sgreenberg

I'll cast another vote for her to see her as I see her, to recognize her beauty and worth. Yes, this is due to bad body self-image, despite the fact that she weighs 90 lbs and stays in good shape.


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## Cloaked

So many. I wish she'd be more bold. And stop buying me gifts. that's not my love language and plus I don't even like them. In the sex department I wouldn't mind knowing what a BJ is like. and if she could learn to enjoy doggystyle. I can live without the sex stuff. But the other stuff is just irritating 
_Posted For The Glory of Zod!!_


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## okeydokie

I'm changing my answer to "leave"


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## BostonBruins32

communicate with what she wants/thinks/needs. Rather than leave me guessing.


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## oldgeezer

I wish my wife could get her anxieties under control. 

She's a slave to her emotions and whims, and at times it drives me stark raving crazy.


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## F-102

Stop trying to initiate conversations about things that I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT when she sees that I am in the middle of something.


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## Fozzy

Take some responsibility for helping fix our issues. I feel like I do all the research, reading, suggesting, etc. You should see the stack of books i've bought for us that I've finished and she's made it 10 pages in to.

Hard to have a conversation about something you aren't willing to educate yourself on.


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## ringyou57

Lose 100 lbs!!!


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## ringyou57

We have been married for just over 37 yrs... Especially the last 5 yrs have been a challange... My wife is more than 100 lbs over weight... This has created a NO or almost NO sex relationship... Our youngest child will be graduating high school this june and I am making plans to leave... We have tryed many, many times to resolve this issue but she just doesnt give a rip about herself or our relationship... HAD ENOUGH...


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## committed_guy

BJ

She's done this very limited in the past and only for a few seconds. It felt amazing and I felt so loved by her.


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## Kaboom

wiltshireman said:


> communicate clearly, say what she means and mean what she says, no more hints / innuendoes expecting me to guess or somehow know what she wants by magic or telepathy.
> 
> Mini rant over, sorry.


^^ this


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## Cyclist

Anything I ask her too


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## kitty2013

I am saving this thread for my husband to read!


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## John Lee

1) Find a better way to tell me her problems with me -- she tends to do it in a sharp and insulting tone -- "You are just constantly leaving things around!" when I am in the middle of diapering the baby after giving her a bath, etc. She's gotten better about it, but I think all men hate this kind of "nagging" and it's a very common complaint.

2) Let go a little more when we go out. I realize we're not in college anymore and I don't expect to stay out til 3am drinking, I just want her to loosen up more. I want to feel like it's not so bad if the service at the restaurant is crappy or something doesn't work out the way we planned -- more spontenaity, less getting uptight about the small stuff.


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## treyvion

ringyou57 said:


> We have been married for just over 37 yrs... Especially the last 5 yrs have been a challange... My wife is more than 100 lbs over weight... This has created a NO or almost NO sex relationship... Our youngest child will be graduating high school this june and I am making plans to leave... We have tryed many, many times to resolve this issue but she just doesnt give a rip about herself or our relationship... HAD ENOUGH...


All that weight can be fatal. She'll lose 40-60 lbs in the first 3 months of a serious workout regiment and adjustments in the diet.

She will feel much better.


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## John Lee

Ok, I've got one more. I know my work can be technical sometimes, but I wish she would make just a little more effort to understand what I do, so that I can occasionally talk about it with her. I make a lot of effort to understand her work. I actually enjoy doing that - taking unfamiliar subjects and learning them and discussing them. I just can't tell her anything about my job unless it's a funny story about kooky staffers or office politics.


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## I Notice The Details

Be more spontaneous and initiate in the bedroom.


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## 312cpl

she lets her past dictate her future.
she is so strong in so many ways....but drags guilt with her for leaving her last husband. She is at that stage where she is second guessing her reasons. (she was justified believe me)

sexually.....she stretched me way beyond my comfort zone since we been married almost 4 years ago. omg...when were clicking emotionally ...so is the sex. no complaints there.


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## MisterG

My wife has gone through an amazing transformation in the last year, and I'd be happy just to keep what we have right now. But if I can pick one more without upsetting things as they are right now, it would be worrying a little less about our setbacks and focusing on the overall trend in our recovery.


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## DarkHoly

I don't have a wife. I have fun.


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## yellowstar

John Lee said:


> Ok, I've got one more. I know my work can be technical sometimes, but I wish she would make just a little more effort to understand what I do, so that I can occasionally talk about it with her. I make a lot of effort to understand her work. I actually enjoy doing that - taking unfamiliar subjects and learning them and discussing them. I just can't tell her anything about my job unless it's a funny story about kooky staffers or office politics.



I wish my husband would share more! I ask him all the time and I think he finds it annoying to share because it would take too long to fully explain it etc. This aggravates me because I want to listen. Then I also think would he have preferred to just have married someone in his field so he could avoid this altogether


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## John Lee

yellowstar said:


> I wish my husband would share more! I ask him all the time and I think he finds it annoying to share because it would take too long to fully explain it etc. This aggravates me because I want to listen. Then I also think would he have preferred to just have married someone in his field so he could avoid this altogether


She just doesn't have the patience and no matter how hard I try to break things down she says she has trouble following it. I think if she wanted to follow it, she could follow it, she's very intelligent.


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## spanz

my biggest desire would be for her to initiate sex more. Seems that I am the one starting it almost all the time, like she is not even thinking about sex until I bring up the subject. Something like I am in the tv room watching, and she walks in wearing the naughtiest of lingerie and proceeds to.....


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## Diesel_Bomber

Move out. Permanently.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details

Diesel_Bomber said:


> Move out. Permanently.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thound

I dont know if this is number one, but its real high on the list: I would like to walk into the bedroom and find her naked on the bed with herlegs spread and then say " Come and get big boy"). Of course I probably wouldnt make it to the bed withoit being spent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sinnister

Stfu and make me a sandwich?
No seriously...love me as much as I love her.




sinnister said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Applejuice

Thound said:


> ... find her naked on the bed with herlegs spread and then say " Come and get big boy")...


If my non-existent wife said that to me, I'd pause, break into a sweat and ponder how she'd concealed 'big boy' from me all this time.


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## DepressedJuan

Take better care of herself, Health-wise.


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## Applejuice

DepressedJuan said:


> Take better care of herself, Health-wise.


Go on.. say it.. she smokes right?


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## JustSomeGuyWho

Grow a vagina. Normally you would say grow some balls but balls are sensitive and vulnerable. Kick a man in the balls and he's down for the count. A vagina is tough. It can stretch to deliver a baby and then snap back. You can pound a vagina mercilessly only to be asked to do it harder. 

She needs to grow a vagina, get her head out of the sand, take our marriage seriously and attack the issues.


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## JCD

Unsolicited blow jobs.


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## led_zepp

I wish my ex-wife would : STOP COMPLAINING & NAGGING OVER EVERY F**K**G MINOR THING & STOP BEING JUDGMENTAL ABOUT EVERYONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## missthelove2013

move where there is NO cell phone or internet reception, and stay there for the rest of her life...
well, I would feel this way if we didnt have kids...they need their mom


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## chillymorn

win the lottery!


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## Applejuice

meh


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## jaquen

Realize how absolutely smashing and beautiful of a person she is.


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## Mr The Other

Open her eyes. See there is no reason to hide, that she is a loveable person and while she has faults, they are she is able to tackle them rather than hiding away from them.


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## jld

Applejuice said:


> Go on.. say it.. she smokes right?


Lol, AJ.


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## honeysuckle

Mr honeysuckle would say 
Put myself first more often
Talk more openly without prompting
Stop putting myself down


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## Rugs

I love this thread, keep it going. Very enlightening.


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## ringyou57

Its been 2 months, STILL have seen no change in my spouse as far as losing weight goes... Only 3 months and 6 days until I'm out of here... I'm sure it's going to hurt but I don't think it's fair... I refuse to be in an unhappy 1 sided relationship for the next 20 or 30 years!!!


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## ringyou57

3 months and 6 days to go!!!!


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## Giro flee

My H says that he wants me to trust him, and to not be afraid. It took several years for me to fully trust him since I thought all men were self entered pigs. He is a patient man so he waited for me  

He also wants me to be able to turn off those negative voices in my head. I am still working on that twenty years later, it's a whisper now rather than a shout.


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## lfortender

1. Stop being so manipulative, bossy and arrogant.
2. Be patient
3. BJ and anal sex
4. She is a church fanatic and i hate that. She could stop being involved so much with church
5. She should try harder to fix her relationship with my parents.


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