# Wife took kids to stat at OMs. help



## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

So WW said she was going to have a slumber party at a girlfriends (I don't really know the girlfriend but it is a woman with kids etc) house last night but in fact she was at OMs all night with the kids. I went over there last night and took pictures of her car in the parking lot and then this morning too.

I told my lawyer I think we need to talk about what we are doing here. If we are trying to say WW is unfit to care for the kids but we keep letting her do it, doesn't that send the wrong message? At what point do we try to get emergency custody?

I am having trouble with this. In the future WW will be able to meet new people and do what ever in her life. I guess the issue I have is all the nude pictures and nude play in front of another man that is not the kids father. If WW does this in the future after we are divorced there will be nothing I can do about it right? How does this work?

I need help understanding.

So how do you let your X have the kids? With the new nudist life style the OM is pushing her into I don't feel right.

This is my first post in this section, I usually post in Going Through Divorce or Separation.


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

What does your lawyer say? I don't know your entire story but if I found out some dude was nude in front of my kid then he would be getting a major a$$ whipping.


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

As far as I know OM has not been nude with the kids around. My kids and WW have been nude at his place while he was there though. He keeps his close on (I assume because he knows it isn't right) but pushes my WW to do it and have the kids do it too. Kids are 3B & 5G.

My lawyer says:

I don't know that I've ever said WW is unfit to care for the children--my argument has been more that it's not in the children's best interests for her to have primary physical care. The custody issue is kind of tricky at this point because you're still living in the same house. It might be possible to get an order saying that she couldn't be alone with the children unsupervised, but that would obviously probably mean putting them in daycare full-time immediately. Furthermore, I don't know how likely it is that a court would agree to enter such an order. 

You also don't have usable evidence that the kids are naked over there other than daughter telling you that do you? It's going to be very hard to get a court order on that basis if we have no evidence other than daughter telling you.


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

I have not replied to my lawyer yet either. I need help badly.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

My advice is the same as it was two weeks ago. Spend the money and hire a professional private investigator who understands what it takes to get evidence that is usable. Your kids are in a dangerous situation and you keep dabbling around the edges without committing to protecting them. 

Protect your kids. Stop posting namby-pamby posts on a message board about how your kids are in an unsafe situation and GET PROFESSIONAL HELP to stop it.


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

I talked to a couple PIs and they wanted a ton of money up front and don't promise anything. Plus if WW/kids are in his house with the curtains drawn, what evidence will the PI be able to get? 

If you have a suggestion that would yield results I'm all ears.

I am really in a tough situation. I can give any and all the details you want if someone can give me more advice.

I'm bleeding out of my heart for my kids but can't seem to figure a way to stop it.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

IWTK,
I responded in the other forum, recommend you read it.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Oh god. I'm so sorry. That would drive me nuts. 
What is your relationship like with her? I take it you can have a conversation with her if she told you she was going to a slumber party. 
At this point your best tool is manipulation, I hate to say it but I learned the hard way the law isn't going to help unless a parent is incompetent, doing drugs in front of the child or abusing them severely. 
One thing you might do is make an anonymous call to DFS. 
But short of that some things you can do: have a talk with her and ask her how she feels about the kids being in the nudist life style. Act like it doesn't bother you. Tell her that you had been thinking and it's tearing you apart because you are so afraid that if the kids are naked or see strangers naked and they tell a teacher, stranger in a store, grandparent, that someone will call DFS. Tell her or would be horrible if one or both of you had to be investigated, and what if they found something and the kids had to go to foster care? 
What I'm saying is put the fear of DFS in her. 
If your child is five they are going to be going to school soon. All it takes is one word from a child about that kind of thing and next thing you know..... 
There's a movie called the Good Mother in which the bf is accidentally seen naked by the daughter and the mom has to break up with him because the father accuses him of molestation. 
You have a lot of aces in your hand. You know this woman do well, you know how to appeal to her fear of losing her children. 
Also keep your ears open. And if it were me and one of my kids said they were naked or bf was naked, I'd be on the phone with DFS before they finished their sentence.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

I want the kids! said:


> I talked to a couple PIs and they wanted a ton of money up front and don't promise anything. Plus if WW/kids are in his house with the curtains drawn, what evidence will the PI be able to get?
> 
> I'm bleeding out of my heart for my kids but can't seem to figure a way to stop it.


Of course they can't promise anything. As far as they know before investigating, there may be nothing there to find.

Think about it this way...In 20 years, when your daughter says to you, "Daddy, why did you let it go on so long?" or "Daddy, why didn't you ever stop it?", are you going to be comfortable answering, "sorry, baby-girl, but the PIs wanted a ton of money up front."


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