# Dooms day



## Heartshattered (Aug 22, 2011)

I have allowed myself to continue hoping. I have been patient, tried to see things through his eyes and to be strong. It has been a year since I found out my husband was cheating on me, for 3 yrs I know of for sure but suspect more. The pain is so deep, I am so confused. I know we had problems in our marriage it needed work and I cried out to him many times, to no avail. 
In December he filed for divorce, but he is still here and yes I let him because I am holding onto every piece of him, I love him so much and believe we can get past this. But when I ask him if he wants a divorce why is he still here, I do not get an answer. So much has happened in the past year, to much to say. So much hurt.
Monday March 26th is DOOMS DAY, that is court day. And I ask him if you are still here, why the divorce; I dont want it, so what are you going to do about it, he has no answer and the divorce still stands. I ache for his love, for him to see how much I love him and that I need some sort of answer. Who am I to him, what does our marriage mean to him, does he want to be with me. I am crazy to even allow him to do this to me, to play with my heart.
I think his inaction is my answer but I still hope and still want him in my life. Am I not worth loving. I see my falling into a black hole without him. Why is he playing with my heart. I have been so patient. I have wanted this marriage and worked on it so hard in the past few yrs.
How to I find the strength to pull off the blinders and see reality.


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## dalvin_au (Mar 19, 2012)

I am so sorry you feel this way.
Please, take a deep breathe...look at his actions. You do not deserve to feel the way you feel. You are a beautiful individual and unique (I guess we all are). 

I do feel your pain...my prayers to you.


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## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

I'm so sorry. A lot of us here are in similar situations. It's a rough roller coaster.

I pray you find peace and heal.


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