# My 18yr old daughter with a mind of her own, wants to contact OW



## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

Not only contact her, but "out" her to her entire FB contact list.....I have tried to convince her that this will not bring her dad back, but she is out for revenge on my behalf. She says even though she hates her dad for what he has done to the family, OW had a part in it too. After OW contacted me, I responded with an email stating that I know she is not entirely to blame, as he prob lied to her, but I then explained that we were in MC (Aug-Sept) and I was not giving up. I told her that during the time they were EA Feb-July I He never let on that we were in trouble, PA began in Sept. At that time I asked her to back off.

Daughter is pissed now that he has moved out and wants to make sure he and she end affair.

Any thoughts on this?
I know I can't control D18 (part of me would love for OW to be shamed as much as my H) But I have asked her not to.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Lovingwife315 said:


> Not only contact her, but "out" her to her entire FB contact list.....I have tried to convince her that this will not bring her dad back, but she is out for revenge on my behalf. She says even though she hates her dad for what he has done to the family, OW had a part in it too. After OW contacted me, I responded with an email stating that I know she is not entirely to blame, as he prob lied to her, but I then explained that we were in MC (Aug-Sept) and I was not giving up. I told her that during the time they were EA Feb-July I He never let on that we were in trouble, PA began in Sept. At that time I asked her to back off.
> 
> Daughter is pissed now that he has moved out and wants to make sure he and she end affair.
> 
> ...


Actually, exposure is highly encouraged. Affairs thrive in the dark, but when exposed to the light of day and stripped bare of the fantasy, it's recognized for the sleaze that it truly is.



MelodyLane said:


> [size:14pt]*Exposure 101 *[/size]
> 
> Exposure is simply your most powerful weapon against an affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy, so exposure can be ruinous. Exposure is no guarantee, but it is your best bet at killing the affair and making it possible to save your marriage. YES, we know your spouse will be furious, but the goal is to save your marriage, not to avoid your wayward spouse's anger at all cost. Your marriage can survive his/her temporary anger; it cannot survive an ongoing affair. Read up on why exposure is so effective: When Should an Affair Be Exposed?
> 
> ...





MelodyLane said:


> FB exposure letters to OP's contacts
> 
> Should be done to the OP’s facebook friends via private message. This is a very, very effective exposure because it is a collection of the OP’s closest friends and family. SPACE THE PM’S OUT 60 SECONDS APART SO FB DOES NOT SHUT YOU DOWN FOR FLOODING. Before you begin, copy and paste all the contacts into a WORD doc. Change your fb picture to a picture of you and your spouse and children.
> 
> ...


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

To what end. Would you consider getting back with a man who failed to stay true to his promise? My guess is no. Your daughter is hoping that he'll come back once she does this.

Its only natural that your daughter feels betrayed but if I were you I'd tell her in no uncertain terms that it was not her problem and that the only thing she should be concentrating on is her studies and to be the best, just to prove to herself, her dad and anyone else that a focused mind can overcome any adversity.

But you can post the both of them on cheatersville or a similar website if it helps you.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Unless the OW is married to an unsuspecting H (and how would you know?), I would not encourage her.


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

I am trying to discourage her.....explaining to her that this will not bring him back, he may just find someone else. And she is NOT married.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Then her fault is very small.
What will attack on single women do?You can expect OW to return fire by calling you horrible wife and all sort of crap he probably told her about you.

Exposures are usually when OW/OM are married.


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

Look, to be honest, you should be the one doing the exposing. Are you a doormat? Do people generally walk all over you without consequences? Do you have no self respect? Don't you get angry when people walk all over what you believe is sacred?

I hope what I just wrote gets you angry, because honestly, like most codependents,enablers and selfhaters out there, you are suppressing your anger due to autophobia.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

She's an adult. All you can do is express your opinion, tell her you will support whatever decision she makes then let it go. Sometimes with kids even grown kids the more you try to discourage the more they will want to do what they want. If you give her the freedom to make her own choice she 'might' do the right thing but again it's not up to you to decide.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Lovingwife315 said:


> Not only contact her, but "out" her to her entire FB contact list.....I have tried to convince her that this will not bring her dad back, but she is out for revenge on my behalf. She says even though she hates her dad for what he has done to the family, OW had a part in it too. After OW contacted me, I responded with an email stating that I know she is not entirely to blame, as he prob lied to her, but I then explained that we were in MC (Aug-Sept) and I was not giving up. I told her that during the time they were EA Feb-July I He never let on that we were in trouble, PA began in Sept. At that time I asked her to back off.
> 
> Daughter is pissed now that he has moved out and wants to make sure he and she end affair.
> 
> ...


I am not going to read the other responses intentionally so I won't be influenced.

I say, why not? 

Her father, and the OW, have conspired to betray the family and why shouldn't she have her say? Why shouldn't she add some shame and exposure? People should hear what has happened and how it has effected her. 

I have no problems with this at all.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Let your daughter do it. She's thinking more clearly about this than you right now because she's got the endgame in sight while you're overwhelmed by the emotional weight of the affair. Exposure kills affairs sometimes. Even if exposing doesn't end the affair or bring her dad back, she will feel better having told the truth instead of hiding it like an accomplice. 

Why do you want to protect your WH and the OW? You can't nice him back, but you can shine some light on the situation to make everyone think more clearly.

I'd say that you should let your daughter have your back in this and let her expose without your objection.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Has your daughter talked to your husband about it?She should talk to him and let him know what she thinks and how she feels.


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

I am in no way trying to protect my H or OW. I just don't want her to have to deal with any anger regarding the outing. She is not his bio daughter, even though he raised her since she was 1. They have had a rough few years getting along, and when he came to me in July and told me about his changed feeling she did talk to him and he told her "you wouldn't understand"


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## Louise7 (Nov 8, 2012)

18 year old daughters are tricky beasties, I speak from experience. My own beastie wanted to do damage to my ex for what he did (and she didn't know the half of it and still doesn't) but I didn't want to drag her into it. In you case, I imagine she thinks this will help to bring her dad back. That won't happen but she doesn't know that.

How to prevent her from doing this? She's 18 and she will tell you she is an adult and can do as she pleases. I would go the route of agreeing with her, that she is an adult but ask her to consider if the boot were on the other foot. If she had been cheated on by some lad she was involved with, would she be happy that her mum had gone in, guns blazing to show him up? Nope, she'd hate it. Ask her to do you the same favour.

It's rough for them I know but all kids eventually learn that their parents are fallible. If there is any exposure to be done - you should be the one to do it but I fear with a single OW, it's pointless.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

If she wants to do it why are you interfering? Maybe it will make her feel better, maybe not. Will she face anger and attacks due to the exposure? Maybe. But won't that be a good experience for her in the long run? She is going to have relationships in the future. Shouldn't she see how different things can affect those relationships? I would tell her that why you didn't expose but tell her the choice is completely up to her. Tell her your concerns but let her make an adult choice.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree that you should be the one exposing them.

There is plenty of good reasons to expose a single woman who is having an affair with your husband. Hopefully she will have to deal with her choice to help distory a family in explaining why she thinks this is ok. Hopefully others will encourage her to end the affair. 

She's hardly an innocent participant. 

Why haven't you exposed the affair?

I also agree that just tell your daughter that what she does is up to her. Your telling her this might get her to drop it. The more you tell her no, the more she will want to do it. But.. if she does expose them.. well, usually children freel powerless in these types of situations. It might make her feel stronger. She got to tell a lot of people how she feels. If what they are doing is so wonderful, then they should be proud of whatever your daughter tells poeple... right?

And by the say, if he has raised her since she was 1 yr old, he's her dad.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I also agree that just tell your daughter that what she does is up to her. Your telling her this might get her to drop it. The more you tell her no, the more she will want to do it. But.. if she does expose them.. well, usually children freel powerless in these types of situations. It might make her feel stronger. She got to tell a lot of people how she feels. .


:iagree:


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

I would never want my daughters blabbing ANYTHING about me or my business on Facebook...but I don't really like FB.

But as a 18 yr. old adult with her own FB page, I can't really control what she writes about her father.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I think your husbands daughter needs to express her self so let her. She is infact her fathers daughter!

I think it will give the kid some sense of empowerment in an otherwise powerless situation.

Maybe give her some guild line and maybe tell her that name calling is not Ok put stating the facts is OK. Be informative but not vandictive. In short discuss what she plans on telling others and how.....


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

Just to make things CLEAR, I did expose the affair to everyone in our lives including his family, who by the way are all very supportive to me and the kids. 

The issue with the OW is that she contacted me a number of times to "rub in my face" the relationship. Since she has not S/O, and I have already contacted her by email telling her what I think of her and asking her to leave me in peace, I thought I did it all. Nothing else that I could say to her would make a difference if what I already said didn't.

My daughter is out for vengence, I just don't want her to get hurt.


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

This was what I sent to OW after her last attempt to contact me!

What could you possible want from me that you haven't already taken??? 

Listen I don't know anything about you except that you started a relationship with a marriend man on his word that he was not happy at home. 6 months later, during a fight about the kids chores, he told me he was unhappy. that was July 14th! During that time, we had many happy times. Loving times, family times. We have been together a total of 17 years married for 12 now. This man is the love of my life, and needless to say we could have worked thru any problems we had, if you had been a real respectable woman and had not engaged in his midlife crisis. During the last almost 5 months of hell, we joined couples therapy, (short lived because working on our marriage meant giving up this exciting new, no commitment, no work relationship he had with you), we have cried together, made love more times than I can count and tried to be commited to our children's happiness. The older ones are hurt and angry, and D6 is just devestated that her dad is moving out. I found him an apt. and he will move out on Jan. 1st. I feel that this is the only choice we have, and honestly the only option for any future together. I have prayed that he realizes what he will be losing, but H has a habit of being stubborn and selfish at times. I don't know if you know this but 15 years ago he left me for another woman while I was pregnant with our son S15. I moved from Seattle area back to NJ and a year later he followed me. He asked me to marry him daily for 6 months and finally in 2000 I agreed because he showed me that he loved me and didnt want to live his life without me. We had some really tough years but when D6 was born in 2006 we recommitted ourselves to our marriage and family and honestly I trusted him more than I ever thought I could. The last 6 years have been the best of our marriage, with their own stressful times. OUr daughter D18 went thru some really rebelous times last year and needed therapy, our 14 year only Lab passed in Feb of this year and financially we have been struggling. 

I know you are not totally to blame for this affair, but I do believe if you would not have gotten involved with my husband he would not be destroying our family. Your attempts at contacting me have been stressful, and your denial of what you have done is just cowardess. 

H has to go thru this journey he has began, for him he thinks he needs to. He told me he is not in love with you, that it was a mistake to ever have gotten involved. He is depressed and stressed out all the time. this is a man I want to protect with everything I have, a man I have committed my life to in good times and in bad. the realization of this relationship you two have had is painful to me and everyone who loves us.

Honestly I don't know how you live with yourself and your involvement in all of this but please for my sake and the sake of my family, don 't cause anymore hurt. I began radiation treatment for cervical cancer this morning and although H has asked to be involved and to support me I can not allow him to, I want my husband there and he can't give that to me right now. I don't want him hurt anymore, no matter what he has put me thru. I love him and always will and honestly his actions contradict his words when it comes to me. All I can say is that I will always be here for him and when he realizes he made a mistake, I will take him back. I am his wife and I promised to be there for him Always.

You obviously are too scared to talk with me, as I have tried in the past. But if you have anything to say for yourself , do it now. If not I hope we are done with each other for good. Please I don't have it in me to continue wondering when you will contact me next.

..


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

That was in Nov BTW, some things have changed and I have gotten stronger......


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

He cheated on you, he cheated on your daughter. If your daughter needs payback... should you stand in her way?:scratchhead:


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

maybe not. But I don't think she will get the desired outcome she is looking for.


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

I think your daughter is pretty cool.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Lovingwife315 said:


> maybe not. But I don't think she will get the desired outcome she is looking for.


If she follows the letter of the law as I C&Ped to you earlier, I think you may be surprised at the results. She may need to reword the exposure letter and tailor it to your recovery/divorce desires, but other than that everything you/she needs is posted above.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Lovingwife315 said:


> maybe not. But I don't think she will get the desired outcome she is looking for.


But if she does nothing, yet wants to, this might sit badly on her shoulders all the rest of her life.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> But if she does nothing, yet wants to, this might sit badly on her shoulders all the rest of her life.


No to mention the not so remote possibility that she may wind up resenting her mother for not "allowing" it.

LW315, why not get your daughter to register and start posting on your thread?


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Let her do it. She is an adult. It may make her feel better.

It also teaches her not to hide and put up with bs.

I've told a few people off in my life and it felt much much better than holding it in and doing nothing.

I will never understand the keep it secret mode about affairs.


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

I can ask her ..... and give her the choice. Thanks for all the input. Part of my problem has always been "trying" to protect my loved ones....but honestly trying to protect my H from the resentment he was getting from our children due to his "way" of parenting, caused him to feel like he wasn't important in our family to begin with. He always thought I was protecting the kids from his strick parenting, but I was trying to make them not hate him, by trying to change the way he parented in the first place. 


Look where that got my marriage....


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Lovingwife315 said:


> maybe not. But I don't think she will get the desired outcome she is looking for.


Maybe she won't. But the one thing she WILL get out of it is speaking her mind about how this has affected HER. Your husband may not return, but at least he will finally see how his actions have affected the kids, not just himself and you.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Lovingwife315 said:


> I am in no way trying to protect my H or OW. I just don't want her to have to deal with any anger regarding the outing.


That's good. I'm glad you're not trying to protect WH or OW in the hopes that this will right itself. However, choosing not to be supportive in how your daughter handles the loss of her father is going to put a rift between you two. 

Your WH has been a colossal dummy in cheating and going off with OW and your daughter probably feels like exposing is like having your back and also a move of solidarity. Of course, she may believe that exposing the truth will get your WH to see the gross reality of his actions. Sure, she will have to face anger from the outside, but, at her age, pushing back against outside anger probably feels preferable to whatever helpless pain she feels instead at staying silent instead of speaking up against the injustice she is witnessing. 

If you're trying to protect your daughter by trying to convince her not to do this, I would say that you're only going to make her want to do it more and also that she will be getting mixed signals about what's acceptable. 



Louise7 said:


> I would go the route of agreeing with her, that she is an adult but ask her to consider if the boot were on the other foot. If she had been cheated on by some lad she was involved with, would she be happy that her mum had gone in, guns blazing to show him up? Nope, she'd hate it. Ask her to do you the same favour.


I definitely agree that allowing one's loved one's to fight the battle for them feels truly horrible, especially when one does NOT want that battle fought. It is possible that your daughter might listen to this sort of reasoning without feeling like you're just challenging her or shutting her down. This sounds like a good suggestion, if you still want to convince her to back down a bit; put her in your shoes and explain to her how it will feel to you if she does this.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Lovingwife315 said:


> I can ask her ..... and give her the choice. Thanks for all the input. Part of my problem has always been "trying" to protect my loved ones....but honestly trying to protect my H from the resentment he was getting from our children due to his "way" of parenting, caused him to feel like he wasn't important in our family to begin with. He always thought I was protecting the kids from his strick parenting, but I was trying to make them not hate him, by trying to change the way he parented in the first place.
> 
> 
> Look where that got my marriage....


Hey! Stop that, now, LW! Your different parenting styles did not cause your husband to go looking for a bit of strange *basket making, did they? No. I didn't think so!

* it's a 19th century term for... well, you know!


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

I gave D18 the option to start getting on the site, not sure she will. I also told her I can't stop her from contacting OW, but that I hoped she would think it over, what she wanted to say, and what she hoped to gain and maybe discuss it with me before she does it.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Lovingwife315 said:


> Not only contact her, but "out" her to her entire FB contact list......


Your DD knows more about stopping affairs then you do. How sad.

Get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley.


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## Lovingwife315 (Dec 10, 2012)

I guess at this point, by me doing something like that would just make me look pathetic. He has moved out, says he doesn't love me. Although he continues to call and text to tell me every little thing in his life. He also still wants intamacy with me, which I have refused. Most say once I let him go and he is free to be with OW, that he may come out of the fog and it won't be as exciting. Plus she lives 3000 miles away so the majority of the A is by phone.

Trust me I have thought about almost everyway to hurt this chick!


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Lovingwife315 said:


> I guess at this point, by me doing something like that would just make me look pathetic. He has moved out, says he doesn't love me. Although* he continues to call and text to tell me every little thing in his life.* He also still wants intamacy with me, which I have refused. Most say once I let him go and he is free to be with OW, that he may come out of the fog and it won't be as exciting. Plus she lives 3000 miles away so the majority of the A is by phone.
> 
> Trust me I have thought about almost everyway to hurt this chick!


You evidently haven't been reading up on how to break up an affair.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

You have to put your big girl panties on. This wasw written by a man, but it appliew to anyone whose spouse is taking advantage of them and their family.

*Originally Posted by marduk 
I happened to be thinking today about the past year of my marriage. Everyone on these forums were so instrumental in my being in the great place I am today I thought I would post a note about where I was, where I am, and what I’ve learned.

A year ago my marriage was a mess. After 3 kids my stay at home wife spontaneously decided to start going out with her girlfriends again, including a “girls trip” to Vegas. She started a crazy fitness routine, including marathon running and triathalons. She started leaving me at home with the kids 2-3 evenings a week. A rough summer. I was insecure, controlling, alone, and afraid.

Thanks in part to the folks on this forum, life is much better now. My wife only goes out with her friends maybe once a month, and the last time she did, she came home early, threw her arms around me, and told me she’s so happy she gets to come home to me. She goes to the gym maybe once or twice a week for an hour or so in the early evening. When she does leave on races out of town the whole family will go on a camping trip together so we can be there for her at the finish line. The stress level in the house is much lower, and our happiness and respect for each other is much higher. Are things perfect? No – we still fight, have conflict, and disagree. But they’re shorter-lived, not has hostile, and just plain don’t seem to hurt so much. What’s changed? Me. Here’s what I learned:

1. Let her go. You can fight, hold her back, be controlling… and you’ll just look petty, insecure, and weak. Be cool, act secure, give her a kiss and say “have fun.” If she’s going to cheat or leave, she’s going to cheat or leave. It’s better if it happens sooner rather than later in my book. A marriage is a choice, a decision that’s made one day at a time. You’re in or out. This was really, really hard. But I've learned that nothing lasts forever, life is change. We can grow together or apart. I can't force her to decide to want to be with me.

2. Set boundaries, and then stick to them. I found in my marriage that it wasn’t ok to say “I don’t want you to do that” but it was ok to say “would you be ok with me doing that?” And then hold her to it. 9 times out of 10 the behaviour would go away on its own if I stuck to it. For example: if it was ok for her to be gone 2-3 nights a week so would I. After a couple of weeks she was dying to sit on the couch and watch a movie after we spent the evening with the kids together. Conversely, if it's within your boundaries, be cool with it. I started to let her off the hook for minor annoyances a lot more which cooled the stress levels.

3. Be ok with losing her. Seriously. After one of our last bad fights before things got better, I reconciled myself to thinking this might be it. The end of our marriage and little family. I thought out how things would be living on my own, sharing custody of the kids, etc. And as tough as it would be, made peace with it. It wouldn’t kill me, it wouldn’t kill my kids. Very negative experience and one I’d like to avoid at all costs, but we would survive. This changed my attitude and clinginess significantly… and to be blunt scared the hell out of my wife. Just last month she told me “I think you’d be more ok without me than I’d be without you.” And for our marriage, that balance of neediness works. I think it’s an alpha male thing, not sure but it seems to work.

4. Do my own thing. I’m out at least once or twice a week doing martial arts, yoga, weights, cross-fit, trail running, hanging with buddies… you name it. Gives me perspective and gives my wife time to miss me. And I’m in kick ass shape compared to last year, and now instead of me worrying about my wife getting hit on I’m having to deal with having her be upset because other women check me out when we go out. I’m going on a weekend martial arts training camp… and my wife couldn’t say a word after going to Vegas last year. Another thing: I make sure I either do something fun with the kids when she goes out (she’ll have to decide if it’s more important to miss out on family fun or friend fun) or I have fun while she’s out. Even something stupid like a scotch and cigar in the back yard when the kids go to bed so I can kick back and listen to the complete lack of complaining about the cigar stink. Ahh…

5. Be a father to our children. Not just “quality” time but real time. Conversations, walks in the park, helping with homework, taking them to soccer, etc. all seemed to help big time. Not just with my wife, but with all of us. And I also found my “father voice,” the voice of discipline and reason in the family. My kids listen to me a lot more, not in fear, but they know they have to listen. Now my wife comes to me when the kids don’t listen to her, not the other way around.

6. Get some buddies. Guys need close guy friends to do guy stuff. Complain about their wives. Be stupid and macho. Whatever that means to you, it worked wonders for me.

7. Fight different. Walk away rather than blow up. Mean what you say and stand up to it. For example, if I threaten that if she keeps doing x that means I'll do y, then I bloody well do y if she does x. This had two effects: I thought about what I said more, and so did my wife. I think my wife has a need to be able to hold me at my word, even if that’s a bad thing. Not sure why. Using few words in a fight, slowly and quietly while looking her directly in the eye seems to also work. Once it’s said, don’t repeat it. It is what it is.

8. Act from a place of strength. I don’t think my wife wants a weakling. She may say that she’ll want me to be more intimate, vulnerable, etc… I think that’s actually BS. Or at least that she doesn’t mean weak or actually vulnerable. If you have flaws or weaknesses either accept it and move on or fix it. I don’t let my wife try to fix my flaws any more. If she brings something up and tries to fix it I’ll ask her to mind her own business (gently). Not a behaviour that impacts her, those I’ll always try to listen to her on. But I don't let her judge me or try to live up to her expectations any more. I define myself, I don't let her do that for me.

9. Be decisive. Again I think this is an alpha male thing. Make plans. I planned a few date nights, and didn’t ask what she wanted to do. Instead I planned stuff I thought might be fun for us, and asked if she was having a good time. She was, especially if it was stuff she didn’t normally like to do (one time we went to a tattoo expo – I have one small tattoo and she has none – but got us out of our element and we had a blast!) Now if she asks me “what do you want to do” I answer with what I want. Works in bed too – I just made sure she felt comfortable in saying “no.” Don’t bully, be decisive and adaptable.

10. Know what I want from life. This is hard in today’s world. I had to pull my head out of my ass and figure out that I don’t want to sit on the couch every night and watch TV. So now I don’t. At least not every night.

11. Do more macho stuff. Fix something around the house. Dig a big hole in the back yard and plant a tree. Fixing her car, for example, seemed to turn a light bulb on in my wife’s head that reminded me that I’m a man and not one of her girlfriends.

So that’s my list. Hope it helps some of the guys out there. Your mileage may vary, and my marriage may still fail, but I’m in a much better spot in the past year than I have been in a long, long time.

Thanks for everything!*


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Lovingwife315 said:


> I guess at this point, by me doing something like that would just make me look pathetic. He has moved out, says he doesn't love me. Although he continues to call and text to tell me every little thing in his life. He also still wants intamacy with me, which I have refused. Most say once I let him go and he is free to be with OW, that he may come out of the fog and it won't be as exciting. Plus she lives 3000 miles away so the majority of the A is by phone.
> 
> Trust me I have thought about almost everyway to hurt this chick!


Your daughter is doing what you should be doing. Take the lead , ruin the OW's fantasy , let her and your husbands family know of his shenanigans and that he is still trying to "be intimate" with you. Then shut your husband down , your daughter will respect you more for your actions , thereafter ask your daughter to step back and let the two waywards wallow in their own mess.

Go dark on your husband , the word dark means exactly that . Every time he contacts you it feeds him, step away from him and his life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NotDoneYet (Oct 6, 2012)

Expose her! What are you afraid of? Don't play nice with the ***** ****ing your husband. Even if your husband did lie and say he was single, she knows he's not single now! DESTROY her purity in the eyes of her friends and family. SHAME her. Her family, if they are halfway decent people, will encourage her to end the affair. 

And I understand not wanting your daughter to get in on the fight, let mom and dad handle their business... but your daughter is 18 and has a voice. Expose. And let her do it instead of you, she'll be more effective. The OW's family might have a perception of you as an overzealous wife, but nobody would argue against a young girl wanting to bring her dad home.


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