# What did you do after DDay to Express Your Rage?



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

A couple of days after DDay, I went by my house while my FWW was gone, took and heirloom 100 + year old bed to my farm , at night I built a bon fire tossed the bed into the flames and took a photo and a video while I sang a line from a George Strait song “Just Give It Away”....that old four poster bed where all that love was made ...just give it away...LOL. Sent photo and video to FWW. Needless to say I drove home my point...although now looking back I wish I hadn’t ..Oh well. It worked.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

It wasn't a marriage but I dumped her ass and never spoke to her again. Granted it took me a month to get there.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Didn't bail her out or help her get a lawyer when she asked for help. Left her jail like she put me in a figurative jail.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Wife never backstabbed me like that but I actually couldn't post my response because forum guidelines and laws in the majority of western nations.


----------



## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

I just asked for the ring back. She was the one filled with rage. She couldn't believe that I would dump her. She was sitting in my car and took the ring off and threw it. It cracked my windshield.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I turned to alcohol. For a long time. And then had a stupid revenge affair.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

My reactions can be rather inappropriate at times, so DD was a really all over the place day for me. I ran hot and cold all at once. Hurt to the core in tears, and then angry and ice cold. I didn't get much information, he refused to speak and I drilled him mercilessly while I examined him for a reaction. I'll never forget the cold, detached way he looked at me knowing that he did the very thing he knew was a complete dealbreaker.

Apparently I shocked the ****s out of him b/c I laughed and laughed my head off when he told me who it was (a 19 y/o who looked so childlike I never sniffed her out as a threat but was annoyed when she sent her crappy baked goods home, which immediately went to the trash) and said it was appropriate b/c he wasn't man enough for me, and I saw why he was scared of sex. Then asked if he used protection, and seeing as he didn't and she wasn't a virgin, he'd best get tested stat to see what he caught from whoever else she was ****ing. The look on his face was gold like he never considered that possibility. 

A few days later I texted him to let him know I was getting tested to see what his ho and her lovers passed on and that my doctor advised me to do it again in a few months to make sure he hadn't infected me. All I could think was Thank God I had my hysterectomy when I did, I already had a Uterine cancer scare 6 years before after my last surgery. The ****er came at me while he was screwing his ho to see if we "had a spark" and me being so pathetically happy he wanted to have sex didn't question it at the time. 

I didn't allow myself to fly into a rage, bc I stupidly wanted him back at the time and I didn't want to alienate him. I still maintained civility after I decided to file b/c he couldn't make up his freaking mind what to do... as usual. We're divorced and I still haven't got nasty or vengeful and I don't plan to. We're finalizing our financial disentanglements, I haven't told him where I moved and I'm just going to walk away and never speak to him again. He already regrets it, he keeps trying to be "friends" asking me how I am when we've had to contact each other and I've just ignored everything that didn't pertain to the issue.

No clue if I'm going to explode now that it's nearly done... Has anyone had a delayed reaction? DD was 09/03/19 for me. I've just been focusing on keeping my **** together and moving on as best as I can. I have been out with other men and am seeing one now, I don't know if that makes a difference.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> My reactions can be rather inappropriate at times, so DD was a really all over the place day for me. I ran hot and cold all at once. Hurt to the core in tears, and then angry and ice cold. I didn't get much information, he refused to speak and I drilled him mercilessly while I examined him for a reaction. I'll never forget the cold, detached way he looked at me knowing that he did the very thing he knew was a complete dealbreaker.
> 
> Apparently I shocked the ****s out of him b/c I laughed and laughed my head off when he told me who it was (a 19 y/o who looked so childlike I never sniffed her out as a threat but was annoyed when she sent her crappy baked goods home, which immediately went to the trash) and said it was appropriate b/c he wasn't man enough for me, and I saw why he was scared of sex. Then asked if he used protection, and seeing as he didn't and she wasn't a virgin, he'd best get tested stat to see what he caught from whoever else she was ****ing. The look on his face was gold like he never considered that possibility.
> 
> ...


We have almost the same DD date. I had my delayed reaction at about the second or third month. I don't think seeing somebody else makes a difference because it is a very personal thing that only you can work through.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> We have almost the same DD date. I had my delayed reaction at about the second or third month. I don't think seeing somebody else makes a difference because it is a very personal thing that only you can work through.


I've had some serious medical challenges alongside this divorce (kidney stone for Christmas, then kidney infection about 6 weeks ago), so that may have distracted me enough, plus I started grad school on 10/19. I kinda let my libido loose after being cooped up for a good decade, this kitten has developed CLAWS! 

I find that helps a lot. I decided the pity party is over, time for self-care. I just got freaking tired of crying, you know? How have you been doing lately? Are you able to keep your mind occupied enough these days?


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I've had some serious medical challenges alongside this divorce (kidney stone for Christmas, then kidney infection about 6 weeks ago), so that may have distracted me enough, plus I started grad school on 10/19. I kinda let my libido loose after being cooped up for a good decade, this kitten has developed CLAWS!
> 
> I find that helps a lot. I decided the pity party is over, time for self-care. I just got freaking tired of crying, you know? How have you been doing lately? Are you able to keep your mind occupied enough these days?


I have the kids and work that keeps me pretty busy. I guess the way I got better was I told myself that I was, if that makes sense. I have days that I think about it but they are only passing thoughts and then I move on. What helps is that karma hit the STBXW harder then I ever could.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

skerzoid said:


> I just asked for the ring back. She was the one filled with rage. She couldn't believe that I would dump her. She was sitting in my car and took the ring off and threw it. It cracked my windshield.


you must have bought her a good sized diamond. My wife’s engagemet ring diamond was so small it would have had to be shot out of a gun to crack a windshield


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

The day we got divorce we went out to lunch. He thought we were going to be friends for life. There I told him I will never see him, or talk to him ever again. He cried like a baby. When I left, I removed him and his family from all social media, and I blocked all his numbers. 
It’s the worst thing I can do to him. He loves attention. I removed myself from the game and haven’t talked to him since.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Confronted the moment I caught her. Next day demanded the ring back. She arrived to my front door were my mom took the ring then slammed the door. I spoke to her once and never again after that. She attempted to contact me a few time since. I don't bother.


----------



## Music_Man (Feb 25, 2017)

After I got all of the messages recovered and was sure of it, I smashed her old phone into 1000 pieces with a hammer. In front of her.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

My ex wife never admitted it, but a couple of days after a friend and her family told me about it, I burned her love letters and a bunch of photos in my mom's bbq (where I had been living). 

Then my friends threw me a huge party and I woke up in some girl's bed. From that point on, I started to rebuild my life.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Music_Man said:


> After I got all of the messages recovered and was sure of it, I smashed her old phone into 1000 pieces with a hammer. In front of her.


What was her demeanor after you did that. After I burned the bed my wife knew this ol jarheaded SOB was on the war path. She called me freaked out and crying. I told her get over it.


----------



## Music_Man (Feb 25, 2017)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> What was her demeanor after you did that. After I burned the bed my wife knew this ol jarheaded SOB was on the war path.


Let's just say she's been very open with her phone since


----------



## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

As many do, I made the mistake of immediate confrontation. I was at a conference in Las Vegas. Called her at midnight and woke her up, had a 2-3 hour call of despair-laden angst. Didn't sleep all night, had to "perform" at a booth at a conference that next morning. My boss knew something was up, but didn't pry too hard. Flew home that evening, walked in the door about 11pm. She had hot food waiting for me. I ate it, didn't say much. Then she tried to have sex when we went to bed and I refused. She bawled and I felt really satisfied at her pain.


----------



## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

This is one where I thought that scorched earth was so hot it turned the sand to glass. Had one where she had an affair and as a consequence, he asked her to leave and started a divorce. In retaliation, she put her husband into bankruptcy. She failed to realize that bankruptcy in his profession was a career killer. She accomplished this through illegal means, using her father and a loan document that her husband had signed. He went ballistic. He had payment records but, he lost his professional designation in the bankruptcy. He put a forensic accountant on the case, and said accountant reported that there were no grounds to call the loan, therefore my client was put into bankruptcy illegally. His ex MIL freaked out. She went to his professional licensing body and admitted that they had done this in revenge for him divorcing their daughter. The licensing body was unwilling to reverse their decision. He still had gone bankrupt. The inlaws were absolutely desperate. They tried to settle. In short, his father in law, and his ex wife. They drained their investments and holdings. My client was a good guy, and allowed them to stay in their home until they died. He sold their home. His exW was kicked out of the family by her siblings. They expected millions in bequests. They got nothing. She had to go personally bankrupt as well. My client lives fairly nicely on his FIL's holdings. He could have done better being employed in his profession for the rest of his life. Now, he will occasionally hear from his ex BIL who is still working in his 70's. There are a whole lot of hard feelings all around.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Taxman said:


> This is one where I thought that scorched earth was so hot it turned the sand to glass. Had one where she had an affair and as a consequence, he asked her to leave and started a divorce. In retaliation, she put her husband into bankruptcy. She failed to realize that bankruptcy in his profession was a career killer. She accomplished this through illegal means, using her father and a loan document that her husband had signed. He went ballistic. He had payment records but, he lost his professional designation in the bankruptcy. He put a forensic accountant on the case, and said accountant reported that there were no grounds to call the loan, therefore my client was put into bankruptcy illegally. His ex MIL freaked out. She went to his professional licensing body and admitted that they had done this in revenge for him divorcing their daughter. The licensing body was unwilling to reverse their decision. He still had gone bankrupt. The inlaws were absolutely desperate. They tried to settle. In short, his father in law, and his ex wife. They drained their investments and holdings. My client was a good guy, and allowed them to stay in their home until they died. He sold their home. His exW was kicked out of the family by her siblings. They expected millions in bequests. They got nothing. She had to go personally bankrupt as well. My client lives fairly nicely on his FIL's holdings. He could have done better being employed in his profession for the rest of his life. Now, he will occasionally hear from his ex BIL who is still working in his 70's. There are a whole lot of hard feelings all around.


Damn. That is wicked as hell. However, what his Ex’s experienced was nothing short of Karma. Justice was served and served in a harsh fashion.


----------



## colingrant (Nov 6, 2017)

Disappeared.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

I cannot say what I did. I did not go to jail though, so that was good. 

Frankly it was not really worth it in the long run and it could have gone really bad it if went to far...

Better to walk away...


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

A friend of mine that was still friends with my ex at the time but quite mad at her, did this without me even knowing about it.

At one of the (many) parties I had at my place, he had about 5 girls pile into my bed (what used to be our bed, one of the few things I got in the divorce because she didn't want it). They were fully dressed, but had the covers pulled up and made it look like they were naked. They all cuddled up together provocatively like I had a harem or something.

The next time my ex was trying to insult me by saying things like I was a loser and would never get another woman, he pulled out the picture of these girls in her old bed, and said "really? Looks like he's doing just fine for himself."

I don't think she ever talked to him again. I never even found out about it until a long time later.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

So after years of twisting the facts around in my mind until they are tiffany pretzels. I decided to stop worrying about proof and just accept that something happened at some point. I jumped straight from denial to acceptance. Really weird and probably not very healthy. No real rage day. Just a whole lot of don't give a fat flying fart in a windstorm.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Mr. Nail said:


> So after years of twisting the facts around in my mind until they are tiffany pretzels. I decided to stop worrying about proof and just accept that something happened at some point. I jumped straight from denial to acceptance. Really weird and probably not very healthy. No real rage day. Just a whole lot of don't give a fat flying fart in a windstorm.


Are you still with her? Or did you end it?


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Married but emotionally detached. Which is why my status says Other relationship. It's too hard to define. I'm not interested in a replacement.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Mr. Nail....And how would you say she defines the relationship....are you just roommates?


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> I have the kids and work that keeps me pretty busy. I guess the way I got better was I told myself that I was, if that makes sense. I have days that I think about it but they are only passing thoughts and then I move on. What helps is that karma hit the STBXW harder then I ever could.


I know what you mean. I don't have kids, but I went back to school, and am still working on unpacking and setting the house in order. 

What karma hit him? I haven't heard/or asked a thing about what's going on my ex's life, I just wanted to get clear.



Girl_power said:


> The day we got divorce we went out to lunch. He thought we were going to be friends for life. There I told him I will never see him, or talk to him ever again. He cried like a baby. When I left, I removed him and his family from all social media, and I blocked all his numbers.
> It’s the worst thing I can do to him. He loves attention. I removed myself from the game and haven’t talked to him since.


Wow, you two went out to lunch! You're good, yes girl. I went to court with my lawyer, as we'd already finalized in mediation, spent 5 minutes in front of the judge and that was it. He wasn't on social media, but as soon as his family dropped me, I removed all of them from social media. 



Taxman said:


> This is one where I thought that scorched earth was so hot it turned the sand to glass. Had one where she had an affair and as a consequence, he asked her to leave and started a divorce. In retaliation, she put her husband into bankruptcy. She failed to realize that bankruptcy in his profession was a career killer. She accomplished this through illegal means, using her father and a loan document that her husband had signed. He went ballistic. He had payment records but, he lost his professional designation in the bankruptcy. He put a forensic accountant on the case, and said accountant reported that there were no grounds to call the loan, therefore my client was put into bankruptcy illegally. His ex MIL freaked out. She went to his professional licensing body and admitted that they had done this in revenge for him divorcing their daughter. The licensing body was unwilling to reverse their decision. He still had gone bankrupt. The inlaws were absolutely desperate. They tried to settle. In short, his father in law, and his ex wife. They drained their investments and holdings. My client was a good guy, and allowed them to stay in their home until they died. He sold their home. His exW was kicked out of the family by her siblings. They expected millions in bequests. They got nothing. She had to go personally bankrupt as well. My client lives fairly nicely on his FIL's holdings. He could have done better being employed in his profession for the rest of his life. Now, he will occasionally hear from his ex BIL who is still working in his 70's. There are a whole lot of hard feelings all around.



Good! That was NASTY and they deserved to get steamrolled by karma.


----------



## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

I divorced him without even so much as a conversation. We were married 27 years.

I moved all the money and closed his credit cards before changing the locks on the house.

he still regrets it 15 years later... but the guy doesn’t know how to be faithful. So I was just done and over it!


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

BluesPower said:


> I cannot say what I did. I did not go to jail though, so that was good.
> 
> Frankly it was not really worth it in the long run and it could have gone really bad it if went to far...
> 
> Better to walk away...


sounds like I would be extremely impressed if I knew what you did LOL.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Mr. Nail....And how would you say she defines the relationship....are you just roommates?


I'll let you know when and IF she ever decides to have intimate conversation with me again. We talk about meals, and kids (adult kids). We don't talk about us. When that topic surfaces, she picks up her book and goes silent. That situation is actually more evidence than any of the other glaring indicators.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

After I burned our bed, i was temporarily satisfied went to bed for the evening. However, I woke up the next morning and was still pissed to the max. I called on POSOMs wife. Let her know what I had discovered.she was super angry when I left. Went back to the farm grabbed my trusty iPad, went on Facebook, changed my marital status to single, unfriended wife, exposed via Facebook that wife had a boyfriend. Called all of her siblings, my siblings, my adult children, and close friends.

Shortly thereafter, my phone was blown up with calls and texts. She was freaking out as she was extremely worried about her reputation. I did not answer her calls, only texted back once...”She who does not wish to be ****ed with does not **** over!”......Point NLLH. However, it was a hollow temporary victory in my mind. The next day I regretted the Facebook exposure, and closed my account. Left for our place in Naples for five weeks.

Looking back, all of this I think opened her eyes to damage she did. Her brothers and sister let her have it not to mention my MIL who speaks her mind still at 91 and she was 86 on DDay.

I guess my tactics worked...going on 4 years 4 months of R. Life is good.


----------



## Music_Man (Feb 25, 2017)

Mr. Nail said:


> I'll let you know when and IF she ever decides to have intimate conversation with me again. We talk about meals, and kids (adult kids). We don't talk about us. When that topic surfaces, she picks up her book and goes silent. That situation is actually more evidence than any of the other glaring indicators.


I'm saddened by reading this. Heart breaking...not a way I would want to (or be able to) spend the rest of my life. Hang in there.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> I'll let you know when and IF she ever decides to have intimate conversation with me again. We talk about meals, and kids (adult kids). We don't talk about us. When that topic surfaces, she picks up her book and goes silent. That situation is actually more evidence than any of the other glaring indicators.


is she still cheating ? and why stay married?


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> What karma hit him? I haven't heard/or asked a thing about what's going on my ex's life


Let just say she spent some time in jail for the choices she made


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Lostinthought61 said:


> is she still cheating ? and why stay married?


I'm wondering if these questions need more than a straight answer. I could say no current indicators of current cheating, and I've not left because as uncomfortable as the situation is, I'm used to it and don't want to make a new home. Most days.
But a more truthful and complete explanation would be that The marriage is not being kept. The connections normal to a faithful marital relationship just don't exist anymore. So it could be said that if there is no third person present, there is still no faithful intimacy shared by two people. In the end the affair or fling or whatever really happened was not enough to entice her away from me. Somehow that I can't fathom, I won. Not much of a prize. But then again, my health isn't that great. Performance issues are plentiful. So maybe I'm not much of a prize either. Perhaps it could be said that my revenge is that she is stuck with me. 
How would it feel to be in a relationship where you can't share your emotions? You can't talk about it without exposing your secret. The best prisons are the ones you build in your mind.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Mr. Nail said:


> I'm wondering if these questions need more than a straight answer. I could say no current indicators of current cheating, and I've not left because as uncomfortable as the situation is, I'm used to it and don't want to make a new home. Most days.
> But a more truthful and complete explanation would be that The marriage is not being kept. The connections normal to a faithful marital relationship just don't exist anymore. So it could be said that if there is no third person present, there is still no faithful intimacy shared by two people. In the end the affair or fling or whatever really happened was not enough to entice her away from me. Somehow that I can't fathom, I won. Not much of a prize. But then again, my health isn't that great. Performance issues are plentiful. So maybe I'm not much of a prize either. Perhaps it could be said that my revenge is that she is stuck with me.
> How would it feel to be in a relationship where you can't share your emotions? You can't talk about it without exposing your secret. The best prisons are the ones you build in your mind.


Wow, that is horrible. I would feel sorry for you, but you seem to be of sound mind so I guess you know what you are doing. 

I go the other way, I just don't want to waste the rest of the years I have left. It has not been easy, but it has been fun...


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

we were on vacation in a small lakeside town when DDay occured. When i found out, I asked her "was it good?" she said "it was ok". then she got mad at me and obviously, i was devastated.
she hurriedly left the bar we were at, and told me that I could sleep upstairs when i got home. i went outside, stunned and in a daze and ruminated for about an hour. i went back to the house pretty late and tried to sleep upstairs, but i couldn't. during tossing and turning, i hatched my plan: I would leave on my own and try to fly back home and leave her, and never talk to her again. i got up before dawn and started walking to town, about 7 miles. i got a ride from a stranger on the way and told him about my troubles. when i got to town, i tried to find a way to get to the nearest city so i could catch a plane home, but in this small town, there was no bus service or any way out. i even went to the chamber of commerce, but they said there was no transportation to the city. so i started walking the 35 miles to the city, but changed my mind after a few miles and decided to check into a motel. in the meantime, she was leaving me messages on my phone wondering where the hell i was, but knowing that i was in pain. realizing that there was no way to get out of this town i had to call her and she picked me up and we initiated a truce, not talking for the most part. got back home and agreed to separate.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> After I burned our bed, i was temporarily satisfied went to bed for the evening. However, I woke up the next morning and was still pissed to the max. I called on POSOMs wife. Let her know what I had discovered.she was super angry when I left. Went back to the farm grabbed my trusty iPad, went on Facebook, changed my marital status to single, unfriended wife, exposed via Facebook that wife had a boyfriend. Called all of her siblings, my siblings, my adult children, and close friends.
> 
> Shortly thereafter, my phone was blown up with calls and texts. She was freaking out as she was extremely worried about her reputation. I did not answer her calls, only texted back once...”She who does not wish to be **ed with does not ** over!”......Point NLLH. However, it was a hollow temporary victory in my mind. The next day I regretted the Facebook exposure, and closed my account. Left for our place in Naples for five weeks.
> 
> ...


I really like the social media expose. Not so much fun for her when her dirt is plain for everyone to see eh?

Informing the wife of the idiot was just good manners.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Social media post caused a few “issues” with the church ladies in our parish. That is only reason I wish I had not Conan. I was hellbent on D at the period of time and in a rage. I got tired of their ****ty attitude towards my wife while we were in early phases of R, so i recommended we switched parishes. Wife just kept taking the snootiness, me I got tired of it, so I told her we were leaving for another parish. I miss my old one, but we have made some really good new friends at the small church we are members of now. I still talk to my old pastor periodically to see how he is doing.

POSOM is still married at this time. I guess his wife forgave him as they have younger children. Ol’ Richard Cranium, I will refer to POSOM as, knows better than to ever be in my proximity again. I cant elaborate more due to legal issues, but his ass is in a crack if he comes near me or my wife again.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Social media post caused a few “issues” with the church ladies in our parish. That is only reason I wish I had not Conan. I was hellbent on D at the period of time and in a rage. I got tired of their ****ty attitude towards my wife while we were in early phases of R, so i recommended we switched parishes. Wife just kept taking the snootiness, me I got tired of it, so I told her we were leaving for another parish. I miss my old one, but we have made some really good new friends at the small church we are members of now. I still talk to my old pastor periodically to see how he is doing.
> 
> POSOM is still married at this time. I guess his wife forgave him as they have younger children. Ol’ Richard Cranium, I will refer to POSOM as, knows better than to ever be in my proximity again. I cant elaborate more due to legal issues, but his ass is in a crack if he comes near me or my wife again.


This is where I get confused. The snootiness was well deserved. YOUR wife deserved it. 

I get starting in a new church, but I don't get being concerned for her feelings about that particular subject. 

I just don't. She got exactly what she deserved. Sorry to say, and no offense. 

The thing about the other man, I did what you are thinking, and it is not worth it. And with your skill set it could go wrong in a heart beat. 

I know you understand that...


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

BluesPower said:


> This is where I get confused. The snootiness was well deserved. YOUR wife deserved it.
> 
> I get starting in a new church, but I don't get being concerned for her feelings about that particular subject.
> 
> ...


Indeed. I realize it and so did she, but sooner or later people need to let it go. Wife fully realized she brought the scorn on herself. I forgave, but these women were something else. No one is perfect. The older I get, the less I find myself judging folks.

As for POSOM I realize it could go wrong in heartbeat, he did too about two years ago when he accosted me in our local Applebees bar under the guise of wanting to apologize. I was well aware he was baiting me to knock the hell out of him. I took his hand squeezed the **** out of it, pulled him into me and with my teeth gritted told him in no uncertain terms he would wind up in a bodybag If he did not steer clear of me. My wife was scared as hell I was going to send him to meet his Maker. However, I let my cousin who is a scorched earth attorney deal with him all I can say. He will not bother us in the future if he is smart.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I didn't want our home to feel like her home anymore. My wife was out of the house for a few days to give me space and I wanted her to walk into the house and realize that it was no longer her home and that she wasn't welcome.

I changed the code for all of the door locks and took her phone off so it wouldn't unlock automatically (she could use her key to get in but would have freaked out at for a second). I unscrewed her hook from the key rack. I took down all of her decorations and small, decorative things/keepsakes that were hers. She had a shag rug that she loved but I hated it and put it at the curb, along with her million throw pillows from the bedroom and living room, and our wedding canvas. There is still an empty spot on the wall where that used to hang. I took down all of our wedding pictures, couple (no kids in them) pictures, pulled out the photo albums, and put them in the recycling bin so that she'd see them when she came home. I changed the wifi password and didn't tell her what it was. She is super picky about bedding, I left her with the sheets and blankets that she hated. I threw all of her stuff from the master bedroom/bathroom into a box and dumped that in the spare room. Things that weren't dumped at the curb went into garbage bags and were put in the garage.

I spent months exploding with rage and did a lot of things I regret, but that move made me feel slightly better. Thinking about it now... still kinda does.


----------



## colingrant (Nov 6, 2017)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Indeed. I realize it and so did she, but sooner or later people need to let it go. Wife fully realized she brought the scorn on herself. I forgave, but these women were something else. No one is perfect. The older I get, the less I find myself judging folks.
> 
> As for POSOM I realize it could go wrong in heartbeat, he did too about two years ago when he accosted me in our local Applebees bar under the guise of wanting to apologize. I was well aware he was baiting me to knock the hell out of him. I took his hand squeezed the **** out of it, pulled him into me and with my teeth gritted told him in no uncertain terms he would wind up in a bodybag If he did not steer clear of me. *My wife was scared as hell I was going to send him to meet his Maker*. However, I let my cousin who is a scorched earth attorney deal with him all I can say. He will not bother us in the future if he is smart.


😂😂😂😂😂 Classic one liner


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Colin Grant, my guardian angel was looking out for me. I still to this day do not understand how I was able to have the ability to restrain myself from giving him a solid beat down That night or the night I crashed my wife’s company’s open house the night I busted her on 11/11/15 and they were standing next to each other, someone upstairs had my back.

Had this occurred 20 years ago he would have assumed room temperature after I was through with him. I guess as I have aged, my common sense kicked in.

Now days I follow James 1:19 “be quick to think, slow to speak, and slow to anger”. As I will be 58 June 18th, I still can do some damage physically as what I was taught in hand to hand training cannot be unlearned. My son was picked on by a bully when he was in the eight grade I showed him three things to do if he was attacked again: first stike the nose hard with the palm, second strike at the throat, thirdly disable the hands.

He was again bullied, followed dad’s instructions, kicked the kids ass, and the nun that was his principal wanted to suspend him. Needless to say, ol dad set Sister Penguin straight.


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> A couple of days after DDay, I went by my house while my FWW was gone, took and heirloom 100 + year old bed to my farm , at night I built a bon fire tossed the bed into the flames and took a photo and a video while I sang a line from a George Strait song “Just Give It Away”....that old four poster bed where all that love was made ...just give it away...LOL. Sent photo and video to FWW. Needless to say I drove home my point...although now looking back I wish I hadn’t ..Oh well. It worked.


My wife is afraid of the dark. Afraid of swamps. Afraid of any place that can have creepy crawlies that she can't see. 

I grew up in poverty and spent half my time in the Santa Fe Swamp in Florida. For a couple years, I lived there outright, out in the middle of nowhere. 

In our case, my wife had a drunken one night stand while I was on CQ and told me the very next morning. 

Up to that point, she ignored most of what I said and generally did not trust me. Mostly because of her past. 

After she offered to give me anything I wanted in a divorce, I asked her if she wanted to stay married. She said she did. I had never been able to get her to venture out into swampy areas with me before, so I gave her an option: either go out into one with me, in the middle of the night, or we are done and I'll move on. 

It was terrifying for her. She couldn't see anything and had no idea how to move in a swamp, let alone at night. I refused to use a light source, so she couldn't see either. If she wanted to stay married to me, she would have to follow me into the swamp and trust me to get her back out safely. She would have nobody to rely on once she was out there, just me. She would have to trust that I wouldn't just ghost her and leave her lost in the wilderness. 

It wasn't the sex, or the relationship, that bothered me. It was the fact that she wouldn't listen to me not trust me at the time. In order to reconcile, I needed to know that she was willing to trust me. Funny how that works... She should be the one earning my trust, right? The problem was her past... She suffered sexual abuse from her father and was repeatedly raped by a couple men later on in life, before she met me. The last one beat her so bad that he shattered the bones in her face and left her with a pretty severe traumatic brain injury. 

I didn't want to be married to someone who refused to face the world, to face her fears. I wanted a partner who would step out into the world by my side, regardless of how terrifying it can be. 

The trek through the swamp took about 8 hours. For most of it, she followed me blind.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

If your wife does not like swamps and creepiest crawlies....she would not like Parris lol.


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> If your wife does. Ot like swamps and creepiest crawlies....she would not like Parris lol.


Lol, she has since followed me into all kinds of craziness. 

I know it wasn't exactly rage that I displayed when she had her ONS, but it was definitely something I was adamant about. I would have divorced her had she refused. I had already consulted lawyers about it.

I guess it worked out though. She has stuck with me through Iraq, Afghanistan, Somali civil war, and a few other... Incidents. 

Being bi and polyamorous, she has had boyfriends and girlfriends since then, but she has always kept me informed and made sure I was on board. And to be honest, with how much I am gone, it is actually kind of a relief to know that she has someone to lean on when I am gone. I wasn't sure if I would even make it this far... a lot of my friends haven't. But she is still here. And I keep coming back home. 

She is my best friend. We have been through a lot together.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> After I burned our bed, i was temporarily satisfied went to bed for the evening. However, I woke up the next morning and was still pissed to the max. I called on POSOMs wife. Let her know what I had discovered.she was super angry when I left. Went back to the farm grabbed my trusty iPad, went on Facebook, changed my marital status to single, unfriended wife, exposed via Facebook that wife had a boyfriend. Called all of her siblings, my siblings, my adult children, and close friends.
> 
> Shortly thereafter, my phone was blown up with calls and texts. She was freaking out as she was extremely worried about her reputation. I did not answer her calls, only texted back once...”She who does not wish to be **ed with does not ** over!”......Point NLLH. However, it was a hollow temporary victory in my mind. The next day I regretted the Facebook exposure, and closed my account. Left for our place in Naples for five weeks.
> 
> ...


I wanted to blast on social media, but I restrained myself and went quietly. My MIL suffered a shock and a small stroke when the ex told her what he'd done and that I knew. I went to the ER, and she was cool as a cucumber, his other family that was there pretended to not know and looked me in the face. 

I hope R has been all you hope it to be, good luck!



Numb26 said:


> Let just say she spent some time in jail for the choices she made


Wow, ok. I half expected my ex to be eventually pulled over for drunk driving. He'd been guzzling those 2L bottles of vodka to "cope" for God knows how long to keep up the double lives.


----------



## colingrant (Nov 6, 2017)

As'laDain said:


> My wife is afraid of the dark. Afraid of swamps. Afraid of any place that can have creepy crawlies that she can't see.
> 
> I grew up in poverty and spent half my time in the Santa Fe Swamp in Florida. For a couple years, I lived there outright, out in the middle of nowhere.
> 
> ...


Awesome story and this is why company's frequently go on retreats, which is to develop emotional characteristics that have nothing to do with business or technology, but simple collaborative skills that require, trust and dependability. Brilliant of you to think this up.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

TXTrini said:


> I know what you mean. I don't have kids, but I went back to school, and am still working on unpacking and setting the house in order.
> 
> What karma hit him? I haven't heard/or asked a thing about what's going on my ex's life, I just wanted to get clear.
> 
> ...


We lived in different states at the time. So we hadn’t seen each other in over a year, rarely talked. There was so much that wasn’t finished and talked about so I thought it was best for me to finally and officially say my goodbyes. 
It was an incredibly sad and powerful moment. He cried the whole time. Regretted the whole divorce but he knew it was too late. There were no words left, it was really sad.


----------



## Music_Man (Feb 25, 2017)

As it pertains to karma, I've seen the POSOM (doctor) pretty much lose everything. Suspended from practicing medicine, arrested for assault and publicly shamed in the process, and last we heard- moved back to his home state to try to start over. 

All because he finally screwed around with the wrong folks. Haven't heard anything about him in months, and don't care one bit...but man this was sweeter than any punch to the gut I could've given him, and he did it all to himself.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> We lived in different states at the time. So we hadn’t seen each other in over a year, rarely talked. There was so much that wasn’t finished and talked about so I thought it was best for me to finally and officially say my goodbyes.
> It was an incredibly sad and powerful moment. He cried the whole time. Regretted the whole divorce but he knew it was too late. There were no words left, it was really sad.


I think you are so much nicer of a person than I am. Good for you. 

I actually have to talk to mine until we get some old tax stuff finished. It is like some type of torture for me to actually hear her voice. It just makes me ill to have to see of talk to her. 

Not that I care, I just want for her to fade in the back ground and go away for ever...


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Social media post caused a few “issues” with the church ladies in our parish. That is only reason I wish I had not Conan. I was hellbent on D at the period of time and in a rage. I got tired of their ****ty attitude towards my wife while we were in early phases of R, so i recommended we switched parishes. Wife just kept taking the snootiness, me I got tired of it, so I told her we were leaving for another parish. I miss my old one, but we have made some really good new friends at the small church we are members of now. I still talk to my old pastor periodically to see how he is doing.
> 
> POSOM is still married at this time. I guess his wife forgave him as they have younger children. Ol’ Richard Cranium, I will refer to POSOM as, knows better than to ever be in my proximity again. I cant elaborate more due to legal issues, but his ass is in a crack if he comes near me or my wife again.


All part of the cost of what she did and I don't think it was such a high price to pay.

I know one couple that changed everything to reconcile. He quit a very lucrative career and moved his entire family to a different state. He was a security guard making peanuts but they were together and apparently happy.

Social destruction is reasonable to me. RC needs some pain socially, for his involvement as well.

I hope and pray you fully conquer and dominate your situation. There is still a lack of equity and equilibrium in your heart and that isn't health.

I'm not surprised because of the level of bull **** that was inflicted on you and some of the ways you have dealt with it.

There is a split in you with one side being very tender and protective of your wife and the other that is still wounded and needing something or things to make you whole.

I pray you find a way to become the master of your situation and life again.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Very accurate assessment to a degree sir. I am fine mentally for first time in years, wife is treating me extremely well. I no longer trigger often. I feel I am in control living not existing. Life is good. God is good


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

BluesPower said:


> I think you are so much nicer of a person than I am. Good for you.
> 
> I actually have to talk to mine until we get some old tax stuff finished. It is like some type of torture for me to actually hear her voice. It just makes me ill to have to see of talk to her.
> 
> Not that I care, I just want for her to fade in the back ground and go away for ever...


Well I’m not as strong as you. 
The truth is, I don’t talk to him or have his social media accounts because of what it would do to me. It would kill me and torture me. 

He still tries to contact me even though he’s blocked. It’s been 1.5 years Of not talking or seeing each other, and he keeps emailing me and the other day he texted my brother to ask about me. 
I’ve never responded, and my family knows not to talk to him either. He’s making it hard for me to forget him.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> Well I’m not as strong as you.
> The truth is, I don’t talk to him or have his social media accounts because of what it would do to me. It would kill me and torture me.
> 
> He still tries to contact me even though he’s blocked. It’s been 1.5 years Of not talking or seeing each other, and he keeps emailing me and the other day he texted my brother to ask about me.
> I’ve never responded, and my family knows not to talk to him either. He’s making it hard for me to forget him.


I'm sorry. Does your family ignore him as well? It would not hurt to ask them to block him as well. 

Over time, you will feel less and less, I promise. 

I don't know how strong I am, I was stupid enough to stay marred to her for 26 years... What a complete moron.

It was a kind of hell that I hope no one ever goes through, although I am sure that people go through worse.

Stay strong....


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

BluesPower said:


> I'm sorry. Does your family ignore him as well? It would not hurt to ask them to block him as well.
> 
> Over time, you will feel less and less, I promise.
> 
> ...


Yea no one responds to him.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Conan, did not read your initial quote accurately (no cheaters on to see) prior to my response. Still wounded, I would say not severely anymore, but let’s call it minimal. I am light years from where I was four plus years ago. Carpe diem is my axiom towards life at the moment. Life is good.

i just got off the phone with one of my best pals From the Corps who I refer to as “captain” long story but one day captain went from E-4 to O-3 self promotion. I will call it. Long story but thankfully he was never discovered.

He reminded me of when I and a few buddies was arrested for beating the hell of of some guys who jumped us when I was a Pendelton and went into LA on leave. We had to go to court, and we put on our finest, ”borrowed“ medals from some fellows for our court appearance. The judge looked at us all “highly decorated“ fellows and dismissed our case. We were pulling those medals of as fast as we could as we exited the court house. Point being Marines take care of Marines.



No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Very accurate assessment to a degree sir. I am fine mentally for first time in years, wife is treating me extremely well. I no longer trigger often. I feel I am in control living not existing. Life is good. God is good



As I type this I have a smile on my face a mile wide. Good times. I have had a wonderful life despite it all. Conan, something tells me you would have made a fine Marine.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Conan, did not read your initial quote accurately (no cheaters on to see) prior to my response. Still wounded, I would say not severely anymore, but let’s call it minimal. I am light years from where I was four plus years ago. Carpe diem is my axiom towards life at the moment. Life is good.
> 
> i just got off the phone with one of my best pals From the Corps who I refer to as “captain” long story but one day captain went from E-4 to O-3 self promotion. I will call it. Long story but thankfully he was never discovered.
> 
> ...


That is high praise and I do not regard it lightly.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Semper Fi Conan.You rock my friend.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Conan my approach to life is summed up in this song. Johns family comes from my families neck of the woods.

peace.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Music_Man said:


> As it pertains to karma, I've seen the POSOM (doctor) pretty much lose everything. Suspended from practicing medicine, arrested for assault and publicly shamed in the process, and last we heard- moved back to his home state to try to start over.
> 
> All because he finally screwed around with the wrong folks. Haven't heard anything about him in months, and don't care one bit...but man this was sweeter than any punch to the gut I could've given him, and he did it all to himself.


I will paraphrase what I told my wife when she was pissed at my exposure of her diallance...He who does not wish to be ****ed with does not **** over....


----------



## Inside_Looking_Out (Apr 8, 2012)

I found his phone, confirmed what I thought was happening, then woke him up and told him to hide his gun from me. I stayed calm, cold, and rational. He was confused, so I told him again, "Get up, find your handgun and hide it somewhere I would never think to look". I told him to come find me when he was done. Once I knew it was where I could not find it, I let all of the rage fly. He later told me how scared he was of me at that moment, because he knew how serious I was.


----------



## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> A couple of days after DDay, I went by my house while my FWW was gone, took and heirloom 100 + year old bed to my farm , at night I built a bon fire tossed the bed into the flames and took a photo and a video while I sang a line from a George Strait song “Just Give It Away”....that old four poster bed where all that love was made ...just give it away...LOL. Sent photo and video to FWW. Needless to say I drove home my point...although now looking back I wish I hadn’t ..Oh well. It worked.



I still, after all this time, can't believe you would burn an heirloom bed over 100 years old. A nightstand maybe?


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> Well I’m not as strong as you.
> The truth is, I don’t talk to him or have his social media accounts because of what it would do to me. It would kill me and torture me.
> 
> He still tries to contact me even though he’s blocked. It’s been 1.5 years Of not talking or seeing each other, and he keeps emailing me and the other day he texted my brother to ask about me.
> I’ve never responded, and my family knows not to talk to him either. He’s making it hard for me to forget him.


So sorry you have to deal with this still, but happy it's sticking him good. I'm trying to get the ex to finalize our settlement, so I can move on. It's dragging on and I just want to close the door on him forever.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Pam said:


> I still, after all this time, can't believe you would burn an heirloom bed over 100 years old. A nightstand maybe?


Lol! I can’t either Pam, but I was working on a pretty good mad at the time. It did drive home the point to my FWW that I was a tad angry. i just felt our marriage bed had been soiled. I did feel somewhat better after doing that. Now I wish I had taken my rage out on something else.

PS: Had the super perfecta Saturday on the Arkansas Derby.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Pam said:


> I still, after all this time, can't believe you would burn an heirloom bed over 100 years old. A nightstand maybe?


I'm not interested in heirlooms especially defiled marriage beds.

He was far more of a gentleman than I would have been. I think he was fairly well balanced in his reactions.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> I'm not interested in heirlooms especially defiled marriage beds.
> 
> He was far more of a gentleman than I would have been. I think he was fairly well balanced in his reactions.


Conan, you must be a real bad ass sir. I was not a gentleman at the time. After I burned the bed, I used language towards my FWW, that I never used the whole time we were together. For the record they never did it in our bed, if they did, i would be single right now. I was just pissed and wanted to strike back at her by destroying something she loved.

She did see me at my angriest. She told me she hopes she never runs into that guy I was again. She said I can be down right scary. If you saw the DI in “Full Metal Jacket”.....that was me that day.


----------



## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

If they had sex in my house, it would have taken every friend I have holding me down to stop me from burning the entire house down!!

For me, some sins are unforgivable!!! 
I filed immediately and never looked back. I still look upon that decision as the single best decision in my life

personally, I believe that marriages are like stools in that it depends on 3 legs...
Love
Respect
Trust

i don’t believe someone could love you and still sleep with another person. No matter what the condition of the marriage, how could love someone and cause the level of devastation and pain to the so called loved on by your selfish behavior of sleeping with someone else?

The cheater certainly doesn’t respect you and therefore sleeps with another person. It would be the epitome of DISrespect if they even brought their lover into your home, let alone allow them to have your spouse in your bed!

And as for trust, how could you ever trust your cheating spouse again? How can you not wonder if she is in bed or the back seat with someone else anytime she is 10 minutes late. Or sure, you could keep constant watch over all of her electronics and watch the tracking program on their phone, but is that the life anyone really wants? That doesn’t sound like a marriage to me.

And yes, I will agree that a stool can still work if one of the legs is damaged, but them it is just too uncomfortable to be useful.

As for my post d-day, the best thing I did was buy a heavy punching bag and set it up in my basement. It got a great deal of use. Looking back on it, I’m shocked I never broke my hand or any fingers.


----------



## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

My grandmother was a huge antique collector, and I was trained at her side for most of my life. 

Good going on the Arkansas Derby! I didn't realize they were actually running this year with the pandemic panic.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Pam said:


> My grandmother was a huge antique collector, and I was trained at her side for most of my life.
> 
> Good going on the Arkansas Derby! I didn't realize they were actually running this year with the pandemic panic.


Running but no fans. Look for Baffert to take the Kentucky Derby this year with Charlatan. I do not see any other pony on the horizon that can beat him. Charlatan reminds me of Justify.

Your grandmother would probably not like me LOL. I did try to find a similar bed when we reconciled to replace ours, but hard to do. I told my wife at least I did not burn the entire bedroom set.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I need alcohol.


----------



## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Not exactly a reaction to Dday situation but I banged her aunt and her sister.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

VladDracul said:


> Not exactly a reaction to Dday situation but I banged her aunt and her sister.


OMG that is hysterical.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He was cheating with more than one woman. I called each of the women, they each thought that they were the love of his life and did not believe it when I told them he was cheating on them. It was really weird. 

I fixed that for him... I hacked his email accounts and other online accounts and downloaded all the messages, emails, etc. Then I zipped them all up and sent them to all the other women. That way they all got to see all of his communications for the pervious 2 years with all the other women. For example he wrote a love poem and emailed it to each of them. Oh, and I also gave them all each others email addresses and phone numbers. 

After that he was hiding from all of them. 

That's just one of things that I did.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> He was cheating with more than one woman. I called each of the women, they each thought that they were the love of his life and did not believe it when I told them he was cheating on them. It was really weird.
> 
> I fixed that for him... I hacked his email accounts and other online accounts and downloaded all the messages, emails, etc. Then I zipped them all up and sent them to all the other women. That way they all got to see all of his communications for the pervious 2 years with all the other women. For example he wrote a love poem and emailed it to each of them. Oh, and I also gave them all each others email addresses and phone numbers.
> 
> ...


Hell hath no fury.....love it. Well played EleGirl. Impressive.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> He was cheating with more than one woman. I called each of the women, they each thought that they were the love of his life and did not believe it when I told them he was cheating on them. It was really weird.
> 
> I fixed that for him... I hacked his email accounts and other online accounts and downloaded all the messages, emails, etc. Then I zipped them all up and sent them to all the other women. That way they all got to see all of his communications for the pervious 2 years with all the other women. For example he wrote a love poem and emailed it to each of them. Oh, and I also gave them all each others email addresses and phone numbers.
> 
> ...


I am curious at what his reactions was towards you after he was outed in what I can say again was in spectacular fashion. Did he use the typical cheaterspeak, “its not what it looks like”,etc. I will say that act tops my exposure via facebook of my FWW.


----------



## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

Just came across this thread, hope I am not to late. 

Married 30 years, I paid off all my business debt, and decided that I could spend some time working on my marriage. I googled "My wife doesnt love me anymore" and TAM came up. I started reading and studying the ideas to help with a marriage, did a number of them, started to notice my marriage improving, then nothing..... In my readings I learned of the ILYBNILWY speech. One night she gave me that speech. I went hmmmmmm. So after she fell asleep that night I looked at her phone to discover texts with a mutual friend that were out of line. So now its 1 am. I get up. Load my 12 gauge with 00 shot, drove to the POS home with the intent of walking down the side of his truck with that 00 shot making holes. I arrive at his home (now 2am) decided that I might want to check for police, so I drive slowly around a three block area to check for cops. During the drive, I told myself "Hoosier, you are going to jail. Who wins if you go to jail?" My mind cleared, I then drove back to my home, a few blocks away, hooked up to POS trailer that was parked in my driveway. Drove it down the interstate about 12 miles, pulled into a parking area used by commuters. Removed the license plate, and the registration papers, pulled a sign I made that simply said FREE , attached the sign and drove off, tearing up the registration and throwing it out the window as I drove, threw the plate in the lake. Next day by 9am the trailer was gone!


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> He was cheating with more than one woman. I called each of the women, they each thought that they were the love of his life and did not believe it when I told them he was cheating on them. It was really weird.
> 
> I fixed that for him... I hacked his email accounts and other online accounts and downloaded all the messages, emails, etc. Then I zipped them all up and sent them to all the other women. That way they all got to see all of his communications for the pervious 2 years with all the other women. For example he wrote a love poem and emailed it to each of them. Oh, and I also gave them all each others email addresses and phone numbers.
> 
> ...


Holy ****.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> I am curious at what his reactions was towards you after he was outed in what I can say again was in spectacular fashion. Did he use the typical cheaterspeak, “its not what it looks like”,etc. I will say that act tops my exposure via facebook of my FWW.


Oh yea he used the typical cheaterspeak all right. He also told me that since I hacked into all his accounts and emailed everything to all the women that he could never trust me again. My response to that nonsense is that he could always trust me. He could trust that I would always do what I need to do to protect myself and my son. That was the end of him trying to turn things around to cover his sorry behind.

I'm generally a very mild mannered person. Just do not piss me off. 😊


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Mr. Nail said:


> So after years of twisting the facts around in my mind until they are tiffany pretzels. I decided to stop worrying about proof and just accept that something happened at some point. I jumped straight from denial to acceptance. Really weird and probably not very healthy. No real rage day. Just a whole lot of don't give a fat flying fart in a windstorm.


I was wrong. I'm not over it. Last night I was not going to be able to make dinner for her on time because I was running around taking care of left over chores from last weekend. So I thought this is he last work day of the week we can go pick up take out. I parked my truck (full size pick up silver with distinctive large custom vinyl) right next to her car at her work and waited for her. Adult Daughter was with me. As we are sitting there I'm thinking, This isn't too smart showing up at her work unannounced, considering . . . She walked out with a man. Talking, happy and animated. Like we haven't talked for years. She walks right up to her car and is about to climb in and drive off when my Daughter says HI!. 
I couldn't watch. But I'm pretty sure she would have driven off never knowing I was there. I didn't ask, I don't want to hear it. The charade is in full swing. OK now I can answer this freaking question.
I slept on and off about 2-3 hours during the night. I delivered the keys to my gun safe to my brother this morning. 
I guess I'm going to have to stay here for a while longer.
MN


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

My FWWs response was when I approached her and POSOM At her company’s open house which she did not invite me to, was”it’s not what it looks like”. I told her don’t ******** me I was born in the morning but not this morning.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> I was wrong. I'm not over it. Last night I was not going to be able to make dinner for her on time because I was running around taking care of left over chores from last weekend. So I thought this is he last work day of the week we can go pick up take out. I parked my truck (full size pick up silver with distinctive large custom vinyl) right next to her car at her work and waited for her. Adult Daughter was with me. As we are sitting there I'm thinking, This isn't too smart showing up at her work unannounced, considering . . . She walked out with a man. Talking, happy and animated. Like we haven't talked for years. She walks right up to her car and is about to climb in and drive off when my Daughter says HI!.
> I couldn't watch. But I'm pretty sure she would have driven off never knowing I was there. I didn't ask, I don't want to hear it. The charade is in full swing. OK now I can answer this freaking question.
> I slept on and off about 2-3 hours during the night. I delivered the keys to my gun safe to my brother this morning.
> I guess I'm going to have to stay here for a while longer.
> MN


Good on gun safe. Don’t do anything that will get you in trouble that you will regret.


----------



## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

I had a hand gun. When I discovered the affair, I gave it to someone to keep for me. Good move on the keys


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Hoosier said:


> I had a hand gun. When I discovered the affair, I gave it to someone to keep for me. Good move on the keys


I have a concealed carry and had weapons in each of my vehicles. I gave them to my son to keep for a while or no telling what I would have done to POSOM. After I calmed down I realized he was not worth it. Karma took care of him.


----------



## Shipwrecked (Jul 9, 2018)

TXTrini said:


> My reactions can be rather inappropriate at times, so DD was a really all over the place day for me. I ran hot and cold all at once. Hurt to the core in tears, and then angry and ice cold. I didn't get much information, he refused to speak and I drilled him mercilessly while I examined him for a reaction. I'll never forget the cold, detached way he looked at me knowing that he did the very thing he knew was a complete dealbreaker.
> 
> Apparently I shocked the ****s out of him b/c I laughed and laughed my head off when he told me who it was (a 19 y/o who looked so childlike I never sniffed her out as a threat but was annoyed when she sent her crappy baked goods home, which immediately went to the trash) and said it was appropriate b/c he wasn't man enough for me, and I saw why he was scared of sex. Then asked if he used protection, and seeing as he didn't and she wasn't a virgin, he'd best get tested stat to see what he caught from whoever else she was ****ing. The look on his face was gold like he never considered that possibility.
> 
> ...


Infidelity is an ironclad line for me. I know I would have him and his stuff on the lawn within hours and my attorney preparing papers. I’d make him work to be able to see the kids. And ‘take him for everything he’s got’ as I promised him if he ever cheated.

I can’t understand how the BS would even consider R if the WS wanted time to decide between them and another. I will never be ‘Option 1’. Too often WS ultimately decide to stay with BS because they don’t want to give up the security &‘amenities’ that come with an established relationship.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> He was cheating with more than one woman. I called each of the women, they each thought that they were the love of his life and did not believe it when I told them he was cheating on them. It was really weird.
> 
> I fixed that for him... I hacked his email accounts and other online accounts and downloaded all the messages, emails, etc. Then I zipped them all up and sent them to all the other women. That way they all got to see all of his communications for the pervious 2 years with all the other women. For example he wrote a love poem and emailed it to each of them. Oh, and I also gave them all each others email addresses and phone numbers.
> 
> ...


haha!

I love this thread. Wonderful!


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Shipwrecked said:


> Infidelity is an ironclad line for me. I know I would have him and his stuff on the lawn within hours and my attorney preparing papers. I’d make him work to be able to see the kids. And ‘take him for everything he’s got’ as I promised him if he ever cheated.
> 
> I can’t understand how the BS would even consider R if the WS wanted time to decide between them and another. I will never be ‘Option 1’. Too often WS ultimately decide to stay with BS because they don’t want to give up the security &‘amenities’ that come with an established relationship.


Some people have feelings, you know, they might actually love their spouse and it takes time to detach and love themselves enough to do what's best for them after the initial shock wears off. People who already put themselves first in everything have no problem severing ties, good for them. Empathy and compassion for others in their struggles go a long way, veiled contempt is a very ugly thing to behold.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Shipwrecked said:


> Infidelity is an ironclad line for me. I know I would have him and his stuff on the lawn within hours and my attorney preparing papers. I’d make him work to be able to see the kids. And ‘take him for everything he’s got’ as I promised him if he ever cheated.
> 
> I can’t understand how the BS would even consider R if the WS wanted time to decide between them and another. I will never be ‘Option 1’. Too often WS ultimately decide to stay with BS because they don’t want to give up the security &‘amenities’ that come with an established relationship.


You really can't say what you'd do unless you've been in that situation. And even then, everyone and every set of circumstances are different. 

People love to think they would handle infidelity a certain way, be decisive, and so badass, but when it actually happens and **** hits the fan... chances are they won't handle things the way they thought they would.

Also, kids shouldn't be punished for their parents infidelity. Infidelity alone does not make someone a bad or incapable parent and they still have every right to their kids.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Hoosier said:


> Just came across this thread, hope I am not to late.
> 
> Married 30 years, I paid off all my business debt, and decided that I could spend some time working on my marriage. I googled "My wife doesnt love me anymore" and TAM came up. I started reading and studying the ideas to help with a marriage, did a number of them, started to notice my marriage improving, then nothing..... In my readings I learned of the ILYBNILWY speech. One night she gave me that speech. I went hmmmmmm. So after she fell asleep that night I looked at her phone to discover texts with a mutual friend that were out of line. So now its 1 am. I get up. Load my 12 gauge with 00 shot, drove to the POS home with the intent of walking down the side of his truck with that 00 shot making holes. I arrive at his home (now 2am) decided that I might want to check for police, so I drive slowly around a three block area to check for cops. During the drive, I told myself "Hoosier, you are going to jail. Who wins if you go to jail?" My mind cleared,  I then drove back to my home, a few blocks away, hooked up to POS trailer that was parked in my driveway. Drove it down the interstate about 12 miles, pulled into a parking area used by commuters. Removed the license plate, and the registration papers, pulled a sign I made that simply said FREE , attached the sign and drove off, tearing up the registration and throwing it out the window as I drove, threw the plate in the lake. Next day by 9am the trailer was gone!


Now that sounds like one of the best. Did you ever let him know about his trailer?


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

I got a good laugh a few months into R as I was at Thornton’s gassing up my SUV when I looked over the other side of the pumps to see POSOM. I said in a pretty scary Clint Eastwoodish voice to him, ”Hey asshole. Remember, it is not if you get yours, but when”. Scared the living hell out of him as I am a pretty good sized fellow at 6’4” 245. I would like to think he was paranoid for a while, but I am sure after a few months the clown had no worries as he tried to approach me while wife and I were having dinner in the bar at Applebees. I could not believe this clown’s audacity and arrogance to approach me under the guise of wanting to apologize. I knew he was baiting me to take a shot at him so he could file charges. I just squeezed the **** out of his hand, pulled him into me, and told him if he was ever in my presence again, he will be leaving in a body bag.

The clown then sued me shortly thereafter and my friend who employed him and my wife for some crap like we conspired to keep him from finding gainful employment. He just could not accept he f’d with the wrong people. Some folks never get it. He thought he would get a cash settlement and I know he did not think we would go to trial, but it is not in my DNA to settle. I am a principle of the thing type of fellow. My attorney got the case dismissed. LOL.


----------



## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

I was actually upset but didn't really yell or scream at her, I just told her I knew everything and had a transcript of all their messages, and threw a copy of one page at her lap.... She read it and got all upset, how did you get this? , invaded my privacy... (etc, the usual cheater nonsense)....
i calmly told her the Verizon account was under my SSN and would have her line promptly canceled.... It felt empowering to have their entire text history for the 2 week fling... And telling her I had known for days what all they were saying n planning.... Information is power, specially when they are clueless that you have one up them.... That helped me not go crazy....
Anyways that was 7 years ago, we managed to R and is a totally different marriage now

Sent from my SHT-W09 using Tapatalk


----------



## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Now that sounds like one of the best. Did you ever let him know about his trailer?


No, In fact, two days later, I confirmed it was gone. During a conversation with her attorney (I found out at 3am on Sunday, she filed 9am on Monday!) I said, rather angrily, "Everyone asks me about that trailer! I have no idea where that trailer is!" He never followed up with a "did you take it" question, just let it drop. I was content knowing I did not lie, I didnt know where it was, wasnt where last I saw it.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Good lawyerly response.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

CantBelieveThis said:


> I was actually upset but didn't really yell or scream at her, I just told her I knew everything and had a transcript of all their messages, and threw a copy of one page at her lap.... She read it and got all upset, how did you get this? , invaded my privacy... (etc, the usual cheater nonsense)....
> i calmly told her the Verizon account was under my SSN and would have her line promptly canceled.... It felt empowering to have their entire text history for the 2 week fling... And telling her I had known for days what all they were saying n planning.... Information is power, specially when they are clueless that you have one up them.... That helped me not go crazy....
> Anyways that was 7 years ago, we managed to R and is a totally different marriage now
> 
> Sent from my SHT-W09 using Tapatalk


My favorite was my FWW’s reply to me “its not what it looks like” when I busted them. WTF are they thinking. Oh well we are doing well and have worked past for the most part her transgression almost four and one half years ago. I still wonder how I was able to refrain from beating the living hell out of POSOM.


----------



## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

No, the question was what did you do after DDay to express your rage. It’s not like whatever it was continued


----------



## Music_Man (Feb 25, 2017)

tapatalk4022125! said:


> Sounds like a lot of people here are stuck in their anger.
> 
> Sent from my SM-N950U1 using Tapatalk


Nah. Part of the healing process. There's a bit of a brotherhood/sisterhood here, and it can be somewhat therapeutic to share.

Some are in various stages- some are weeks/months in, some are years. Reflecting back on how we expressed our anger after Dday doesn't mean we're stuck there. It's a part of our lives. It dosen't have to define us and it doesn't have control us, but it's quite healthy for us to talk about it. 

Many of us can even smile or laugh about it now. 

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Indeed it is therapeutic. I get a kick out of what others did to know I am/was not alone in my anger. My FWW said I had her drinking out of a firehose after exposure on Facebook. She asked me shortly after Dday before I departed for Florida for several weeks to be away from her “did you really have to humiliate me that way”... I replied did you really have to **** POSOM? Point to me.

At the time I was enraged, but after I cooled down, I wish I had not blasted her as I did, but oh well


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Your answer should have been " Well yes....actually....I did. Humiliation was not my intent, but it was a consequence of telling everyone the reason for my absence and the coming divorce."


----------



## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Indeed it is therapeutic. I get a kick out of what others did to know I am/was not alone in my anger. My FWW said I had her drinking out of a firehose after exposure on Facebook. She asked me shortly after Dday before I departed for Florida for several weeks to be away from her “did you really have to humiliate me that way”... I replied did you really have to **** POSOM? Point to me.
> 
> At the time I was enraged, but after I cooled down, I wish I had not blasted her as I did, but oh well


Yes, you needed to do it.
Yes, she needed to take it.
Unfortunately, she earned it.


----------

