# Lost



## Lostandalone3 (Aug 12, 2018)

Ive been married 21 years. 2 years ago I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work. She is or was a drug addict and it ended when he quit . It took 2 years of therapy to get past this. But 2 weeks ago I found out I have an STD. One that is incurable and now I have a constant reminder of his affair. I am lost. I could never be with another man due to this STD. What do I do?


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Lostandalone3 said:


> Ive been married 21 years. 2 years ago I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work. She is or was a drug addict and it ended when he quit . It took 2 years of therapy to get past this. But 2 weeks ago I found out I have an STD. One that is incurable and now I have a constant reminder of his affair. I am lost. I could never be with another man due to this STD. What do I do?


Which STD is it? What you are saying is not completely true. There are ways to have safe sex. 

And are you saying that he is having an affair again? Or that you are just finding out that you caught something from him?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Lostandalone3 said:


> Ive been married 21 years. 2 years ago I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work. She is or was a drug addict and it ended when he quit . It took 2 years of therapy to get past this. But 2 weeks ago I found out I have an STD. One that is incurable and now I have a constant reminder of his affair. I am lost. I could never be with another man due to this STD. What do I do?


Are you still with your husband? Has he also got this STD?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Two years of therapy to deal with cheating is a long time. I think this is due to putting too much emphasis on monogamy and our current marriage structure where we are handed monogamy with no alternative but mental problems and/or divorce. If I needed two years of therapy I would just have divorced my wife as no amount of therapy is going to make you forget or stop you from being suspicious. 

You do not mention which STD. If it is HPV, 80% of sexually active adults have it. If it is something else, he is cheating again. If cheating is not tolerable for you, divorce or live miserable the rest of your life. I find it interesting that only you went to therapy, no him. That is a major red flag telling you he will keep on cheating.


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