# What to do when OW wont stop trying to contact



## 3goodeggs (Jan 4, 2010)

I am new here and so far am doing pretty good with accepting what has happened. My H had an affair with a woman from another state who he was friends with in grade school. Facebook is where it started. I caught them talking but had already been suspicious of a "boys weekend" a few weeks earlier. I was right on with what I thought. He told me that the only time he met up with her was that weekend but they had been talking since June. Of course I was furious and hurt. Anyway, I have decided that there is too much to lose if I were to end our relationship. 

The main problem is that the OW wont stop trying to contact him. Every couple of days its something. He decided to change is cell phone number and had all her emails sent to spam. She has tried to contact me directly thru his email because she knows that i am reading it and then last week she sent him back the tshirt he left for her to snuggle with. I told him that if he doesnt throw it away I am going to burn it. I have been pretty cool about this whole thing but this is really starting to piss me off. I dont know if I should contact her directly or just stay silent. She seems kinda crazy so I am not sure. The funny thing is is that if I were her and was having an affair with a married man with 3 small children at home and he called it off I would leave things alone. I dont understand why she wont let him go. 

Thanks for any and all advice. I am truly struggling with this.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

My god she does sound a little crazy thank goodness she isn't in the same state.
she will get sick and tired of sending contact messages when no one answers, she will give up. 
don't let it put any strain on your working your marriage out.
good luck


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Could you get a restraining order of some sort? This is harassment.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

3goodeggs said:


> I dont understand why she wont let him go.


She got dumped hard and fast...her ego took a blow & she really fell for your h. Bottom line is she does not care that he has a wife and three children...she wants him for herself.

I'd keep ignoring her and eventually she'll stop if she gets no response.

And if you have a :bunny: , hide him ... she sounds nutty :scratchhead:


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Wow. Yeah she is a little off her rocker. I am sorry that she is bothering you, I know how hard it is to get over something when one of the parties wants to keep trying to make contact. Pain in the arse. I think ignoring her is the only option. If you respond she will continue to do so and hold on thinking she has some place in your life.


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## 3goodeggs (Jan 4, 2010)

thanks everyone. I have given her the nickname of "rabbit boiler". not heard anything for a few days. I am just sick of her showing up out of the blue and left dealing with the pain of the this whole situation again and again. Tonight is our first couple counseling session. Wish me luck.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

good luck honey.........


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## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

Swedish - 

You crack me up! When I was reading this thread the first thing that popped into my mind was fatal attraction! Then you said it! LOL

3good - kudos for you for keeping your sense of humor calling her the "rabbit boiler." I think humor keeps us sane! 

I agree - keep ignoring her and working on your marriage. Thank goodness she lives in another state.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

3goodeggs said:


> thanks everyone. I have given her the nickname of "rabbit boiler". not heard anything for a few days. I am just sick of her showing up out of the blue and left dealing with the pain of the this whole situation again and again. Tonight is our first couple counseling session. Wish me luck.


I'm sure rabbit boiler knows it causes you grief everytime she initiates contact...hopefully ignoring her will make her realize it's not working...or she finds someone else to divert her attention to.

Good luck tonight


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## NightOwl (Sep 28, 2009)

3goodeggs said:


> thanks everyone. I have given her the nickname of "rabbit boiler". not heard anything for a few days. I am just sick of her showing up out of the blue and left dealing with the pain of the this whole situation again and again. Tonight is our first couple counseling session. Wish me luck.


We called the crazy stalker OW a "bunny boiler" too . In my case she actually did have borderline personality disorder. 

Basically I documented all contact and if it continued/escalated we were going to try to get a restraining order. Thankfully she seems to have given up, but it took a few months. I also dealt with my feelings about her, realizing that she is a sick and unhappy person not worthy of me having any feeling towards her.


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