# Return engagement ring?



## Loveimage (Oct 7, 2011)

Hi,

As much as I love my fiance I'm going to end our relationship, as he just doesn't seem enthusiastic about marrying me. I'm 33 and he is 40 this month. We have been together for 6yrs and engaged for a year with no wedding date set. We have had so many fights about him saying oh yes, I have this money we can use for the wedding only to turn around a month later and say he thinks we can't afford it. He also doesn't want to put our money together until after marriage and he told me I live in a fantasy world for wanting children with all of our investments that we have individually. He earns a great income so these comments are all excuses. His attitude has affected me and I don't think I'll ever believe him when he swears he wants to marry me but his actions just don't match.

Anyway, my real question is do I return the engagement ring? He gave me the ring as a promise to marry me yet doesn't seem to have any intentions of going through with it. When we were fighting I asked him what he wanted me to do with the ring and he just shrugged his shoulders.

Thanks


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Yes.


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## Kimberley17 (Oct 10, 2011)

yes, you should return the ring. If he says keep it, well, then keep it.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

If you`re not marrying him return the ring.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My thing is this:

If the woman calls it off, return the ring.

If the man calls it off, keep it. It was a gift.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Return it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Keep it. Once I learned that a couple I know are splitting up and she's a very successful CPA and he just got laid off and she's going after his pension I came to the conclusion it's every man, and woman, for themselves.


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## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

that_girl said:


> My thing is this:
> 
> If the woman calls it off, return the ring.
> 
> If the man calls it off, keep it. It was a gift.


:iagree:


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## Ducky316 (Aug 16, 2012)

Return the ring.


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

IMO, if you break off the engagement, you should return the ring.


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

Id keep it. Wouldn't be able to wear it, but its still a symbol of someones love. Isnt it insulting to return something like that? Id be insulted...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

If there is any part of you that is interested in keeping the ring, for whatever reason, don't just offer it back to him. Ask HIM what he thinks you should do with the ring. 

Sure he's likely to take it back, but at least there is a chance, however slim, that he might let you keep it.


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## La Rose Noire (Jun 20, 2012)

I think giving it back no matter the circumstance is the right thing to do, doesn't matter who broke it off. You didn't buy it, so it's not yours to keep if you didn't get married.

You might want to look up what the law says also, depending on the state, it may be viewed as a conditional gift that you have to give back regardless of who broke it off.

Check out this site to get what I'm saying:

Engagement's off -- who gets the ring? - CNN


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Since you're breaking the engagement, return it


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

return it..


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Return. If you keep it, he may still think there is some hope for the relationship. Give it back and there "should" be no doubt.


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## Loveimage (Oct 7, 2011)

Thanks for your replies. I thought I would offer to pay him a portion of the cost, as I chose the ring and still love it. I figure he made a promise to marry me yet seems so reluctant to actually go ahead with it so he has come accross as wanting to end it by acting this way.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Keep it. Once I learned that a couple I know are splitting up and she's a very successful CPA and he just got laid off and she's going after his pension I came to the conclusion it's every man, and woman, for themselves.


Wow, so very wrong. And you would encourage this?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

I agree with the others that stated if the woman breaks it off she should return the ring. If he breaks it off, then it is fair game to keep. He should be able to get it back and sell it.


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## La Rose Noire (Jun 20, 2012)

Loveimage said:


> Thanks for your replies. I thought I would offer to pay him a portion of the cost, as I chose the ring and still love it. I figure he made a promise to marry me yet seems so reluctant to actually go ahead with it so he has come accross as wanting to end it by acting this way.


Just a portion? Why not the whole thing? I'm sorry, but you didn't buy it, promise or no.

Again, I'd check the laws of your state. Chances are, it's his to keep. If he wants to sell it to you that's fine, but it's his choice to make.


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Loveimage said:


> Thanks for your replies.* I thought I would offer to pay him a portion of the cost,* as I chose the ring and still love it. I figure he made a promise to marry me yet seems so reluctant to actually go ahead with it so he has come accross as wanting to end it by acting this way.


As a man, that would be an insult to my pride and worse than you just keeping the ring (IMO).


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

I would just give the ring back. It's a symbol of love, and he might see it as there is still hope. You would want a clean break for any future relationships. How would explain where you got this ring?


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Yeah, that might be awkward to a future prospect. "This engagement ring is from my ex-fiance." As the new prospect, that would probably take a hit to my ego, as well. [Maybe my ego is just fragile.]


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

that_girl said:


> My thing is this:
> 
> If the woman calls it off, return the ring.
> 
> If the man calls it off, keep it. It was a gift.


Yea but she's justifying that he's called it off. It sounds like they both are thinking they are not compatible. Either way the engagement ring is not a gift. It's a condition of the promise it goes along with.

If he say you keep then ring then it's a gift.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

It's actually pretty obvious and the question should not be asked but ....

You would have to give it back or reimburse him for it if he took you to court. Even the legal system knows how to handle this. It's kind of crappy to think it's okay to keep IMO.


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## Ducky316 (Aug 16, 2012)

I was going to check the laws in your state for this kind of thing, but you don't divulge where you are...Regardless, the ring was given to you as an ENGAGEMENT..he may be stalling but he has not called off the wedding. You did NOT buy the ring and have no ownership rights to it if you're not getting married. Almost everyone here has advised you to return it...If you had no intention of doing so, why would even pose the question?

Sorry, but you look incredibly greedy by even contemplating keeping what you did not buy...sorry.


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## Ducky316 (Aug 16, 2012)

La Rose Noire said:


> Just a portion? Why not the whole thing? I'm sorry, but you didn't buy it, promise or no.
> 
> Again, I'd check the laws of your state. Chances are, it's his to keep. If he wants to sell it to you that's fine, but it's his choice to make.


:iagree:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

An engagment ring is given contingent on you marrying him. 

Regardless of how he is behaving, you are the one breaking it off.

If he took you to court over the ring, which does happen, he would get the ring. There is case law that backs this up.

The only time the bride would keep the ring is if he did something terrible.. like cheated and she had incurred wedding expenses. Then she can keep the ring to offset her financial loss.

I'm a bit miffed at you wanting to keep the ring. It's an engagment ring, what are you going to do with it? wear it like a fashion right? Generally any guy you get involved with in the future would not be very pleased with you wearing your former engagment ring.


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## KellyK (Sep 4, 2012)

Of course you should return the ring.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

return it.


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## oneMOreguy (Aug 22, 2012)

you really need to return the ring........for both legal and moral reasons.............and the sooner the better....why stay around if he is communicating that living with you is fine, just don't wanna marry you.


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