# I have a 2yr old



## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

My one and only baby girl just turned two and will not get out of my bed. I love her so much but really need for H and I to have the bed alone. I have tried many different things but nothing so far has worked and when I let her go to sleep in my bed and try to move her to her own , she always wakes up , so I pat her and try to get her back asleep but as soon as I walk away (thinking she is out) she is up and back in bed with me and H *sigh* any advice?


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Stop letting her sleep in your bed. 

It's as simple and as difficult as that. You may have a few rough nights where she won't sleep, she may cry some, but there is no "easy" way to do this. You just have to do it and keep doing it or accept that she will stay in your bed for the forseeable future.


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

justonelife said:


> Stop letting her sleep in your bed.
> 
> It's as simple and as difficult as that. You may have a few rough nights where she won't sleep, she may cry some, but there is no "easy" way to do this. You just have to do it and keep doing it or accept that she will stay in your bed for the forseeable future.


What do you mean. Put her in her bed over and over and let her cry? I have tried that before but after 2hours I gave up  I wish there was an easier way.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Yes, that's what I mean. Personally, I don't believe in letting kids sleep in the marital bed for this exact reason. It sounds wonderful when they are infants but then getting them out is a nightmare. Of course, everyone has differing viewpoints on this, that's just my opinion. 

The worst thing you can do once you start is give up and let her back into your bed. Then you are just teaching her to keep crying until you eventually give in.

When my son was an infant and trying to learn to sleep on his own, I would let him cry a for a few minutes and then go rub his back or sing a song. Then I would let him cry a little longer, go back and reassure him, then let him cry longer. Eventually he would finally fall asleep. After a couple of nights, he learned to sleep on his own and has been a good sleeper ever since (he's 8).

Does she have a stuffed animal or blanket that could make her feel more secure?


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

yeah - you just need to keep at it. It is a war of attrition, and not always easy by any means. In fact - it can be a nightmare. You are not alone.

Keep the drama to a minimum. Simply pick her up and take her back to her bed. She may scream and freak out. Its hard to watch, and sooo tempting to just get some sleep. SO - it is in fact a test of wills.

Eventually, she will realize that 'normal' means sleeping in her own bed. When she wakes up by herself in her own bed in the morning - make sure and praise that too. You may have to start by simply getting her to fall asleep in her own bed - and you can do a little happy dance the nex day with her over that too. Its important to positively reinforce 'good' behavior.


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

justonelife said:


> Yes, that's what I mean. Personally, I don't believe in letting kids sleep in the marital bed for this exact reason. It sounds wonderful when they are infants but then getting them out is a nightmare. Of course, everyone has differing viewpoints on this, that's just my opinion.
> 
> The worst thing you can do once you start is give up and let her back into your bed. Then you are just teaching her to keep crying until you eventually give in.
> 
> ...


I always said I would never let her sleep in my bed but then H started working nights and it was just me and her so of course it became way to easy to say yes. I am regretting it now. I will start this process tonight and get the headache medicine ready lol


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> yeah - you just need to keep at it. It is a war of attrition, and not always easy by any means. In fact - it can be a nightmare. You are not alone.
> 
> Keep the drama to a minimum. Simply pick her up and take her back to her bed. She may scream and freak out. Its hard to watch, and sooo tempting to just get some sleep. SO - it is in fact a test of wills.
> 
> Eventually, she will realize that 'normal' means sleeping in her own bed. When she wakes up by herself in her own bed in the morning - make sure and praise that too. You may have to start by simply getting her to fall asleep in her own bed - and you can do a little happy dance the nex day with her over that too.


Great ideas thanks... I am determined to let her fall asleep in her own bed tonight. I will update tomorrow and tell how it went


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Good luck!


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

man.. I do NOT miss those nights.  Im sure my wife misses them even less. She did the heavy lifting on this battle.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

It really can be a battle of wills. But if you persist your 2 year old will eventually relent.

Atleast that is how it has always been with my son - one thing nice about having two parents is they can muster twice the willpower, lol.

Nowadays, my son often gets his way. He has also timed his internal clock to know just precisely when to sneak into my room without me noticing or having the alertness to take him back to his bed, lol.


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

Lon said:


> It really can be a battle of wills. But if you persist your 2 year old will eventually relent.
> 
> Atleast that is how it has always been with my son - one thing nice about having two parents is they can muster twice the willpower, lol.
> 
> Nowadays, my son often gets his way. He has also timed his internal clock to know just precisely when to sneak into my room without me noticing or having the alertness to take him back to his bed, lol.


They do ,do that lol I have woke up a few times with DD there and never heard her climb in.


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

Last night was DD 1 - mommy 0.. She was put to sleep in her bed and that went fine. H and I was having grown up time and right before we were finished she wakes up screaming. He jumped up and went the the bathroom. I slipped my nightie on and as soon as she was in my bed she was out. Seriously in two seconds. With the way it happened I didn't think about jumping up naked , grabbing her and putting her back to bed soo.  maybe tonight !!!


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## gumby0811 (Oct 14, 2012)

Have you tried getting a new blanket, stuffed animal or something that would make her bed more appealing? With my oldest she had some issues and after plenty of nights of back and forth i went and got her all new princess bedding and also put one of my shirts (fixed up to fit) on her favorite stuffy, so it smelled like me, and it worked


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

gumby0811 said:


> Have you tried getting a new blanket, stuffed animal or something that would make her bed more appealing? With my oldest she had some issues and after plenty of nights of back and forth i went and got her all new princess bedding and also put one of my shirts (fixed up to fit) on her favorite stuffy, so it smelled like me, and it worked


I haven't tried this but will she as a dora bed with all dora bedding. Dora doll and her Leap pal that sings to her and knows her name.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

My wife and I have a 11 yoa and a 8 yoa the 8 yoa would constantly get out of her crib and come into our room during the middle of the night we fought this for like 6 months and i agree you just have to get up and put them back and let them cry Its hard but its the only thing that will yall some alone time anyway the 8 yoa is fine this was fine she was 2 as well


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## AsTheStoryGoes (Oct 10, 2012)

I am going through the same thing as you. It was always easier letting my son sleep in the bed with me because I was breast feeding. The problem was, after I stopped breast feeding he kept wanting to sleep in the bed with my husband and I and I gave in so I could get some damned sleep. lol Bad decision on my part.. I can put him in his bed for the night (he always plays with my hair to go to sleep, it's like a stuffed animal or blankie to him) but he always sneaks back in our bed. Sometimes without us even noticing it, otherwise I put him back in his bed and let him play with my hair until he goes to sleep. It's a struggle every night.. I am definitely not making the same mistake with my daughter. Good luck to you!! lol


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

AsTheStoryGoes said:


> I am going through the same thing as you. It was always easier letting my son sleep in the bed with me because I was breast feeding. The problem was, after I stopped breast feeding he kept wanting to sleep in the bed with my husband and I and I gave in so I could get some damned sleep. lol Bad decision on my part.. I can put him in his bed for the night (he always plays with my hair to go to sleep, it's like a stuffed animal or blankie to him) but he always sneaks back in our bed. Sometimes without us even noticing it, otherwise I put him back in his bed and let him play with my hair until he goes to sleep. It's a struggle every night.. I am definitely not making the same mistake with my daughter. Good luck to you!! lol


Thanks .. I am definitely regretting my decision with her. It is 8pm here so her bath time .. in the next hour she will be put to bed!
Let the testing begin


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## AsTheStoryGoes (Oct 10, 2012)

KnK said:


> Thanks .. I am definitely regretting my decision with her. It is 8pm here so her bath time .. in the next hour she will be put to bed!
> Let the testing begin


So how did your night go???


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

our 8 year old still 'sneaks' in once in a while... when she wakes up, or has a bad dream or something. No biggie. Typically, my wife will let her crawl in for a hug and some quick talk... 'couldnt sleep? 'did you have a bad dream?' 'OK just a minute and then back to bed, OK?'

But with a 2 year old? yeah. White knuckle time. 

I totally agree on the big girl bed. Thats about when we shifted from the crib to the toddler bed too. Its all very exciting to be in the big girl bed.


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

AsTheStoryGoes said:


> So how did your night go???


Great.. It only took me two hours of her winning and crying " I want mommy's bed , Mommy's bed " to get her to sleep in her bed and she woke up once twice throughout the night trying to climb up. I took her back to bed reassured her she was fine , patted her etc. she fell back asleep bother times and ended up sleeping in her bed only the entire night.. I'm so happy! hopefully soon she wont even wake up and come to me!


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## gumby0811 (Oct 14, 2012)

That's Awesome K! Not too shabby for a start, and will get better every night.


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## KnK (Oct 15, 2012)

gumby0811 said:


> That's Awesome K! Not too shabby for a start, and will get better every night.


Thanks I do feel pretty accomplished lol I know I have to make it last though.. I have faith I will


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

Anyone baby gate on the bedroom door way :smthumbup:

My 2 year lil old boy is great at sleeping in his own bed, now my 5 year old that can now open the baby gate sleeps in my bed, she does have her own room, but prefers my bed, i like cuddles, i used to sleep in my mums bed even as a teen, i just loved being close to her, sometimes they just need security, it can be a difficult time being 2, just as my lil boy is getting some separation anxiety, i certainly wouldn't leave him to cry for long, it is just a stage they are going through and i prefer to comfort them.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

cloudwithleggs said:


> Anyone baby gate on the bedroom door way :smthumbup:
> 
> My 2 year lil old boy is great at sleeping in his own bed, now my 5 year old that can now open the baby gate sleeps in my bed, she does have her own room, but prefers my bed, i like cuddles, i used to sleep in my mums bed even as a teen, i just loved being close to her, sometimes they just need security, it can be a difficult time being 2, just as my lil boy is getting some separation anxiety, i certainly wouldn't leave him to cry for long, it is just a stage they are going through and i prefer to comfort them.


Gate on your bedroom?? 

Never! I think that is a really bad idea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

It seems that you kid is not ready to be left alone. Just do it slowly so that she could adapt on the changes.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Get a crib mattress and put it by your bed. every few days move it closer to your door, in the hall, down the hall and finally into her room. Every night that she sleeps in her bed until morning, she gets a sticker.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I would be tempted to put up a child gate to her room, since she is roaming the house to your bedroom.

Not sure if the gate would keep her, in her room (some are serious climbers), but even if she feel asleep one the floor...it would be in her room.

This is frustrating for you but consistency is the key! Keep up the good work and eventually...the time spent will be less. Do not give in or you are back where you started!


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