# my gf wants to fix my relationship with my ex



## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

My current girlfriend has recently met my ex and has since though of talking to her and seeing if she can fix the relationship we once had. It always way a off and on relationship but I think a lot of that was the case of those who fail to learn from history will doom themselves to repeat it. I understand there would be a great deal of communication and effort involved to make it happen and spent a fair amount of time thinking it over but see no reason at this time to not give it a try. I guess I'm just wondering if theres any problems that might come up that I've missed.


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## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

Your gf doesn't want to be with you anymore?

I don't get it. Unless you have a child with the ex I do not see any purpose in having a relationship with them.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Umm...you don't wonder why your current girlfriend wants to get you back together with your ex-girlfriend? You don't find that a bit odd? I certainly would. 

I'm honestly not even sure how to address this kind of situation. This is something I have definitely never heard of before.


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## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

no she still wants us to stay together and continue with our relationships. I always thought I had a fairly good relationship with the ex other than a few problems we never seemed to work out and perhaps with someone to help sort those out it could turn out to be good for everyone. I would say that her motives in trying help is knowing that its something if it works all three of us would enjoy. I guess its just that the ex has a lot of quilities that we're looking for in the type of person we like to associate with.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

:scratchhead: You'll have to forgive me if I'm not catching on here. Is your GF wanting your ex to be a part of your friendship "list", or is she wanting your ex to be part of your relationship?


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## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

part of our relationship


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Oh. Well, that puts it into perspective for me. But I'll have to bow out now, b/c I don't have any advice nor experience with that. I wish you the best, though!


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## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

welshh said:


> My current girlfriend has recently met my ex and has since though of talking to her and seeing if she can fix the relationship we once had. It always way a off and on relationship but I think a lot of that was the case of those who fail to learn from history will doom themselves to repeat it. I understand there would be a great deal of communication and effort involved to make it happen and spent a fair amount of time thinking it over but see no reason at this time to not give it a try. I guess I'm just wondering if theres any problems that might come up that I've missed.


:scratchhead:

I say, fix your relationship with your ex, then move her and your gf into the same house, coin and copyright a couple keywords and phrases and start giving advice on the internet as part of a book deal._ Doubling Up: How Polygamy Saved My Marriage_, by welshh. Book 2 can be Think & Get Rich or something like that.


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## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

LOL

OK, I would be worried that they are actually more interested in eachother. Would you be okay if it ended up with the 2 of them having sex together more often than you? Something to think about.

This could seriously go south. But, different strokes for different folks I suppose.


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## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

Well from a sexual standpoint I'm not to concerned, I've been told many of times by quite a few girls that toys are fine but could never replace the real thing completely so that just leaves a concern of a jelousy isue to me which is doubtful. 

Yes the more people you add the more risk there is something will go wrong but I am a person who has always enjoyed the greater risk and greater reward that comes with it. And starting from my current relationship which we agree is very solid and ready for the next step.


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## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

welshh said:


> Well from a sexual standpoint I'm not to concerned, I've been told many of times by quite a few girls that toys are fine but could never replace the real thing completely so that just leaves a concern of a jelousy isue to me which is doubtful.
> 
> Yes the more people you add the more risk there is something will go wrong but I am a person who has always enjoyed the greater risk and greater reward that comes with it. And starting from my current relationship which we agree is very solid and ready for the next step.


So your girlfriend actually wants to get w/ your ex? This is an epic win in the TAM sea of fail. Well played.


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## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

less_disgruntled said:


> So your girlfriend actually wants to get w/ your ex? This is an epic win in the TAM sea of fail. Well played.


What does TAM stand for?


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## sleeplesssomewhere (Feb 15, 2011)

Talk About Marriage.. the webpage name.


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## tpb72 (Feb 18, 2011)

welshh said:


> Well from a sexual standpoint I'm not to concerned, I've been told many of times by quite a few girls that toys are fine but could never replace the real thing completely so that just leaves a concern of a jelousy isue to me which is doubtful.


Another girl is totally different than toys. The reason toys can't replace the real thing is the human contact/bond that is lacking.

Kind of in an offbeat way reminds me of my high school buddy. He met, fell in love, and married a girl that was openly bi. He accepted this thinking only good things could come from this. Well, 5 years later she abandoned both him and her 3 year old daughter after deciding she wasn't bi after all ... girl all the way!!! And if you think "Well, he just probably wasn't a good enough lover." I did date him back in high school - biggest schlong I've ever cum across (sorry, had to) and skilled all around.

My guess is, since you too seem to think this is possible, that this will totally come to pass. You going in are gonna think hooyah but then they'll start excluding you more and more and you'll be left in the cold.

Good luck with that.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

I went in expecting to read something about fixing the relation so you could get over it. But this? WHAT? HOW? Seriously... most men's fantasy there. Somehow though, this will end up going south. Either don't do it or enjoy while the cruise steadily sails for Antarctica.


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## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

Yeah I realize it may be every guys fantasy but I don't think that has any effect wether or not it will fail. So do you have any reasons that it should fail besides being polyamourus thats like saying people get divorced because they are monogamous. I'm quite convinced a sucessfull relationship can be established between more than two people just wondering if this is one of those cases. 

@ tpb72 Sounds like it could be a story where she may of wanted to end the relationship with him and just used that as an excuse but either way is entirely possible. I have thought of the possibilities that yes they could decide they would rather be in a relationship by themselve or they could decide niether one of them likes me anymore and go find another guy too. I'm sure two girls looking for a guy to add would have no problems at all. It would apear to my current gf there is also a posibility that I would decide I like my ex better. Although I'm certain that will never happen just a risk from her view. I guess we both have that same risk and I think maybe thats one reason why people "settle down" there is many cases where people have thought they had the greatest thing ever only to discover something they like even more. It makes it very difficult when you do these things after some time of a committed relationship as opposed to in the beginning when if the relationship fails there isn't as much to lose from either party. Perhaps a selling point I can tell her I already know the ex and its pretty welly established that we can't have a sucessfulrelationship withoutadding something perhaps a mediator role that she can fill so without all three of us I can't go back to just me and the ex.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Just maybe GF (who is, presumably a secret) wishes to go overt with your wife because she knows your wife will come unglued that you have been at least emotionally intimate with another woman and your current marriage will be in jeapordy, opening the door for GF to replace wife. GF can't very well tell you the real reason she wants to go face to face with your wife, so she frames it as an attempt to fix your relationship. If she were interested in strengthening your marriage, she wouldn't be your girlfriend.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Actually, interestingly enough, this woman I am seeing as per another thread comes over to see me tonight for a booty call.

She is divorcing.

She tells me tonight after sex (and leaving an hour later) that her stb-x husband is joining the gym, going back to school, looking for a job, etc. . .and she is doubtful of his reformist ways, but cheering him on as he got a wake-up call.

Curiously enough, I had the same feeling as your girlfriend. . .I was thinking it would be nice if they got back together and I had a weird part of something to do about that, since he kinda found about me.

That being said, I am not thinking about some screwball 3-some.

This is what I thought your gf may be thinking.

Yeah, I think you are definitely in Fantasyland.

One man summed up heaven as this:

"It's a place where all the women in my life are waiting on my every need, and not one bit jealous of each other."

You are defining heaven.

You have to die to get there, bro'.


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## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

@scannergaurd Some screwball thresome ?????????????? and what did you mean by since he kind of found out about you, sounds to me like as though your the one with the screwed up relationship if shes having an afair with you. Myself I would never lower myself to that level there is no secrets nothing is hidden everything is out in the open. 



Aparently it is looking as though nobody can open there mind on here to think that there is such a thing as a commited relationship that isn't based on monagomy. I was hoping to establish more of a discussion on things like how when two people add a third the third may feel left out because the first two have so much history already but in this case that would partialy be established. To say a relationship is to fail because it is poly is no different than to say it will fail because of monogamy. How would I look if I was here saying there is no way that you can have a relationship between just two people and make it work ever.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

How old are you Welsh? what country are you from? how old are these girls?


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## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

I'm 31 and there both a year or so older than me and live in WI


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## yummy11 (Mar 1, 2011)

i don't get it.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Well, not a problem much with threesomes or w/e. I do have one with relationships which just started. There is no strong foundation of trust for this to work on. Either you or her will get hurt, especially if your ex is not a friend with benefits, but a full part of the relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## welshh (Feb 22, 2011)

Draguna said:


> Well, not a problem much with threesomes or w/e. I do have one with relationships which just started. There is no strong foundation of trust for this to work on. Either you or her will get hurt, especially if your ex is not a friend with benefits, but a full part of the relationship.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think I made a comment about how if the relationships in question have been more casual say a couple months in length you don't have as much to lose. If you don't have kids houses car and so on together its a lot easier to split up if things go bad.

I've been together for 4 years now with my current gf and on and off with the ex for the 5 years before that. My current relationship has actually gone a lot fruther than the previous, a lot more has happened with us including others in our relationship and worked through a lot more of the isues. The topic of including others in the relationship has come up with the ex as well we just had more isues to work out and niether one of us was in an emotional place to help each other through it at the time. I think there may be such a possibility that the current gf may be able to play a role as a mediator and help resolve a lot of those isues. 

We would be open to the idea of including her only as a friend with benifits but I suspect my ex will not be interested in that. I'm also more interested in finding someone for a commited relationship at this point, not really as interested in the fun in the bedroom (although its a really good bonus) as I am in the things another commited person can bring to the relationship. I think all three of us have had our share of codependancy isues. It would be nice if the girls can go off to do girly things together that I won't enjoy they can split up some of the household chores between themselves and so on.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Welshh,

Whatever turns your crank. I'm not here to judge. If it's working out for you, that's great. There is just as much risk in monogamy than polygamy. Otherwise this web site wouldn't exist.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

welshh said:


> I think I made a comment about how if the relationships in question have been more casual say a couple months in length you don't have as much to lose. If you don't have kids houses car and so on together its a lot easier to split up if things go bad.
> 
> I've been together for 4 years now with my current gf and on and off with the ex for the 5 years before that. My current relationship has actually gone a lot fruther than the previous, a lot more has happened with us including others in our relationship and worked through a lot more of the isues. The topic of including others in the relationship has come up with the ex as well we just had more isues to work out and niether one of us was in an emotional place to help each other through it at the time. I think there may be such a possibility that the current gf may be able to play a role as a mediator and help resolve a lot of those isues.
> 
> We would be open to the idea of including her only as a friend with benifits but I suspect my ex will not be interested in that. I'm also more interested in finding someone for a commited relationship at this point, not really as interested in the fun in the bedroom (although its a really good bonus) as I am in the things another commited person can bring to the relationship. I think all three of us have had our share of codependancy isues. It would be nice if the girls can go off to do girly things together that I won't enjoy they can split up some of the household chores between themselves and so on.


Damn, don't know how I thought you two just got together. My bad. 

It does seem you have considered the pros and cons a lot. If you feel it has been well discussed, looked at from all sides etc, then by all means go ahead. I wasn't trying to stop you. Just trying to make you check out all possibilities.


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