# OPINIONS NEEDED Please!!



## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

For those who know my story (for those who don"t see threads "Should I outright leave..." "Need your advice on these texts" ... and "Double Life"

One of my closest friends told me something this weekend re my husband (her husband and mine are best friends). A mutual (guy) friend of the group asked her if everything was ok b/t me and my husband b/c my husband told this guy last week that he's nervous b/c lately I am different, distant and don't seem to care anymore. Based on what I have told you in my threads and what I've been going through, 

1) why do you think he's nervous?

2) why hasn't he approached me and asked what's wrong?


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

You are considering ending the marriage. I'm sure that somehow he can sense this.

Even though he's been disloyal to you, he doesn't want to lose you. I don't really know if he loves you or not - but I'm sure that you are his security blanket. You are there for him and he's afraid of losing that. 

BUT - he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

I think he's nervous that you might leave and I think he's a scared, immature man who can't address this with you directly because it might mean that he would have to own up to some of his choices.

Thats my "guess."

Good luck.


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## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

Thanks so much niceguy. I totally agree with you... guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. 

Hearing this new item from my friend has made me more emotional though. I have to keep reminding myself of all of the pain he has caused and the continous disrespect I have endured. I actually started to cry last night thinking what happened to him that made him change his feelings towards me... he used to think the world of me (all the good things he used to say and do just kept palying in my head).


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

nice777guy said:


> You are considering ending the marriage. I'm sure that somehow he can sense this.
> 
> Even though he's been disloyal to you, he doesn't want to lose you. I don't really know if he loves you or not - but I'm sure that you are his security blanket. You are there for him and he's afraid of losing that.
> 
> ...


That's exactly what I was thinking also. But on Question #2, I believe I know what's going on in his head. He knows full well what he has done, so he doesn't want to approach you about the issues. That would force him to face his demons head on. He's probably a narcissist. They had rather sweep things under the rug which don't flatter them. 

I think the head games have already begun. He knows the end is in sight, and he wants to look good. He went to a friend and planted a few seeds--saying he didn't know what was going on with you, that you are distant, etc. He's putting on the halo and will have everyone believing the divorce is all you. Don't fall into that trap. Make sure your friends know the truth. And above all else don't second guess yourself.


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## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

827Aug said:


> That's exactly what I was thinking also. But on Question #2, I believe I know what's going on in his head. He knows full well what he has done, so he doesn't want to approach you about the issues. That would force him to face his demons head on. He's probably a narcissist. They had rather sweep things under the rug which don't flatter them.
> 
> I think the head games have already begun. He knows the end is in sight, and he wants to look good. He went to a friend and planted a few seeds--saying he didn't know what was going on with you, that you are distant, etc. He's putting on the halo and will have everyone believing the divorce is all you. Don't fall into that trap. Make sure your friends know the truth. And above all else don't second guess yourself.


827 - thank for your insight as well. Never entered my mind that he could be a narcissist nor did I think of his inquiry as "planting the seed". Sad part is I think his friends very well know about what he has done as I suspect they were present during recent event (trips to vegas, boys night out at local bars, etc.) maybe they don't know about how many girls he's "talking" to or the fact that he's been keeping in touch with them...


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## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

Also, part of me thinks he had his friend ask my friend "what's going on" to see if I have been revealing what I know so hee'll know exactly how much of it he has to own up to. He has NO idea how much I know and that it's more than one thing. My therapist and lawyer both told me I should remain vaugue with him. Let him try to figure it out. Just give him the bottom line.


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## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

gabriella said:


> please dont end your marriage,no mata whose fault it is,rekindle love,spark up what you had on your honeymoon,if you really want to make it work,i employed the service of a spellcaster,FYI i am not a pagan,but desperate times call for desperate means,,,contact him he will be in the best position to explain to you how it works,all i know is that i got my love [email protected]
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If I even think of rekinldling I'd go to marriage counseling and seek spiritual advice from my parish... no need to cast spells


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