# how can i get my husband to support my fitness goals?



## plymouth71 (May 10, 2010)

I recently joined a gym and I set a personal goal of one hour per day, 5 or 6 days per week. I'm not doing this to be model skinny or wear revealing clothes, but because I lost my father to a heart attack one year ago. He was only 58. I've explained this to my husband but every time I lace up my sneakers, he stares daggers at me. Am I being selfish by trying to look out for my own health? Am I just supposed to let myself go now that I'm married?
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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Just ignore him. 

No, seriously, tell him exactly what you told us. EVERY time you go out. 

On top of that, ASK him what it is he is upset about. Is he having to watch the kids while you go out? Is that the only hour he can have to spend with you? 

Find out what the real issue is with him, so you can address it in a healthy way.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

It's bad enough he scowls like that, to think he has the right or is entitled to judge and disapprove of your activities. But the better question to me is why you want his approval.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I do that to my H. I give him a huge guilt trip if he says he's going to play racquetball or basketball. I do it because im jealous. im jealous because i think he loves doing those things but has very littler interest in doing anything with me. He's gone until 7:30pm every day and by the time he eats and showers its time to go to bed. So i feel like i dont get to see him and it feels like he could care less.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Plymouth, will he go with you? Try and talk him into going with you. If he won't he's probably a little bit jealous that you are working out and he's not.

If he's hesitant at first, keep going by yourself. Let a few weeks pass and then ask him again, if he says no, don't push it. Just keep asking him week-in-week-out (once he says no don't push anymore) and more then likely eventually he will start going with you.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.


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## plymouth71 (May 10, 2010)

To turnera - no kids here, so I'm not leaving him alone w screaming hellions! I try to work out when he's at work so he doesn't miss me but his schedule is unpredictable. We don't really have many friends and I work at home so we spend plenty of time w each other. See some of my other posts - we have sex 4 times a day!

To susan - I guess I want his approval because when we get in fights, the first card he usually plays is to remind me of the woman he left me for, how lucky I am to have him, how he should have never come back to me, how uncontrollable and self centered I am, etc. So I try to keep things happy between us by not doing anything he doesn't like.

To blanca - I'm so sorry your husband uses his activities to avoid you. I think I can say pretty confidantly that I'm not trying to avoid my husband here though. We spend every night together, I try to make dinner most nights by the time he gets home, we watch movies and go on walks together, stuff like that. Plus, there's all the sex he's getting. I'm starting to really resent that I can't take an hour for myself during the day.

To cryp - that's a great idea! My hubby was a boxer in high school and has maintained a perfect physique since then, despite smoking a pack a day and drinking moderately. I would love to have him spot me so I could do weight training! I will suggest it. Thankyou!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

plymouth71 said:


> We spend every night together, I try to make dinner most nights by the time he gets home, we watch movies and go on walks together, stuff like that. Plus, there's all the sex he's getting. I'm starting to really resent that I can't take an hour for myself during the day.


my H would pretty much say the same thing. he tells me we are together all the time, he's not gone all the time, and we do all the things you mentioned above. funny how different perspectives can be on the same situation. 

but i read that you said he's throwing all the girls he left to be with you, and that you're lucky to be with him. i think he's feeling really insecure. he's very possessive of you and you improving your body makes him even more insecure.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Keep going to the gym.

If he doesn't perceive your being invested in your own health as a benefit _for the both of you_, then he's a knucklehead.

Next time he pulls the 'lucky to have me' card, tell him you're not so sure about that.
Odds are, the better you feel about yourself - the less you will feel compelled to put up with his bullsh!t.


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