# Do you go to church with your partner/spouse?



## *Deidre*

I've been seeing a guy now for a few months, and we are exclusive. He was a friend for a few years, and we started dating shortly after my engagement ended. He is a moderate Christian, but he wants to become more devoted to God in his everyday life, and we have been going to church together for a few weekends. Today we went to a non-denominational type of service, and it was awesome. It was so great to see other couples there, who are just dating like us, interested in becoming stronger in their faith. 

Because I'm a Christian, I'd like my husband to be someday, to be the spiritual head of household, and to be strong in the faith. My boyfriend wants this too, he is very traditional, as he was raised in a traditional home, but he also wants us to make decisions together. (We are discussing marriage, but not rushing lol) He views the role of a husband to not control the wife, but to be partners together in God. I love that. 

So, just wondering who here attends church together with their partner/spouse?


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## arbitrator

*When I was married, we attended church together! 

First marriage, my W was a Baptist, but joined my faith as a United Methodist. We attended together up until the time she started "fooling around" at work! Then it was me taking the boys to church!

A few years following my D, I met my RSXW, a devout Lutheran, and they made me decommit from my Methodist faith and adhere to hers! I didn't really like it as Lutheranism was far to liturgical for an old fart like me! I was more in agreement with John Wesley's teachings and beliefs.

As my RSXW's pants went down, so did my faith in the Lutheran Church, and upon separation, I came "back home" to Methodism!

My faith and love of God multiplied forty fold, and that's where I am today!

As a rather strange anecdote, when my RSXW remarried, she joined her new hubby's(he's not one of the of the ones she cheated with)church, which coincidentally is the United Methodist Church!

Thank God that they attend off in another town!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy

We're more into Sunday brunch.


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## 2ntnuf

I'm Roman Catholic(I know, yuck) and I didn't have a choice in that. My first wife was also. She dodged church every chance she got. I loved or at least got something out of it along with it being a family tradition I wanted to keep. I never did. Partly because I married the wrong woman and partly because I was not convicted to my goals. 

My daughter attended a few years of grade school at our parish school. It was expensive and I couldn't make enough no matter how much I worked. Our son never attended at a Catholic grade school. He knows little about it.

They are all ... Presbyterian? Not sure to tell the truth. 

My second wife grew up going to a Presbyterian church. She later changed to Baptist. 

I fell away and went back again and again until I was treated harshly about twenty years ago. That was the last time I cared. I gave it all I had from being an altar boy and serving mass on week days during summer vacations from grade school, to volunteering to decorate the church and help with the food bank. I even did some remodeling there, for free. 

My second wife and I never attended anything that I can remember. Neither of us cared or just didn't talk about it. 

After we broke up, I started going to some non denom services. I liked them too, just like you. I felt more welcome. I helped out folks less fortunate while I was there, by going to their homes and washing or painting things...if I remember correctly. 

Well, I did not like the ideas of the preacher as much as I thought, once I was there a while and started listening. 

I never did go to another after that, but kept reading the bible and researching for a few years. I still do that from time to time. It's comforting.

My opinion is that you can't know when or if your husband will be exactly what you want, ever. You can only hope and support the decisions he makes that align with your hopes. From there, you compromise until you get close to breaking boundaries. You take serious action when it starts getting close. You definitely let him know what you want before and during marriage. Make it well know to him that you will only do certain things and what your goals are. 

Ask him questions. Don't believe everything he says. He loves you and will tell you partly what he wants to do, but not only what he really believes if he was alone, or what he knows he is likely to do. Well, that's my opinion. I can't know what he will think or do. I've just seen it so often, I'm a bit wary when I think some young woman or man will believe through love goggles. I don't want anyone to be blindsided. 

I wish I felt differently. Life changes us. Sometimes we are changed for the better and sometimes for the worse.


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## jorgegene

I go to church with ny wife. Eastern rite.

if it's really important to you (and I assume it is), you need to discern that he's a true believer grounded in the faith, so you don't find yourself down the line unequally yoked before you tie that knot.


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## *Deidre*

arbitrator said:


> *When I was married, we attended church together!
> 
> First marriage, my W was a Baptist, but joined my faith as a United Methodist. We attended together up until the time she started "fooling around" at work! Then it was me taking the boys to church!
> 
> A few years following my D, I met my RSXW, a devout Lutheran, and they made me decommit from my Methodist faith and adhere to hers! I didn't really like it as Lutheranism was far to liturgical for an old fart like me! I was more in agreement with John Wesley's teachings and beliefs.
> 
> As my RSXW's pants went down, so did my faith in the Lutheran Church, and upon separation, I came "back home" to Methodism!
> 
> My faith and love of God multiplied forty fold, and that's where I am today!
> 
> As a rather strange anecdote, when my RSXW remarried, she joined her new hubby's(he's not one of the of the ones she cheated with)church, which coincidentally is the United Methodist Church!
> 
> Thank God that they attend off in another town!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm so happy you found a home that you feel good about  I have heard that in marriage, some spouses take on whatever the faith of the other is, in some cases it works, in others, it might not. If this guy I'm dating is ''the one,'' I'm hopeful we're on the same page. I don't know all that much about the Methodism, I grew up Catholic, left it for a time and identified as an atheist, and came back to Christianity last year, but now follow a more non-denom approach to worship.


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## *Deidre*

2ntnuf said:


> I'm Roman Catholic(I know, yuck) and I didn't have a choice in that. My first wife was also. She dodged church every chance she got. I loved or at least got something out of it along with it being a family tradition I wanted to keep. I never did. Partly because I married the wrong woman and partly because I was not convicted to my goals.
> 
> My daughter attended a few years of grade school at our parish school. It was expensive and I couldn't make enough no matter how much I worked. Our son never attended at a Catholic grade school. He knows little about it.
> 
> They are all ... Presbyterian? Not sure to tell the truth.
> 
> My second wife grew up going to a Presbyterian church. She later changed to Baptist.
> 
> I fell away and went back again and again until I was treated harshly about twenty years ago. That was the last time I cared. I gave it all I had from being an altar boy and serving mass on week days during summer vacations from grade school, to volunteering to decorate the church and help with the food bank. I even did some remodeling there, for free.
> 
> My second wife and I never attended anything that I can remember. Neither of us cared or just didn't talk about it.
> 
> After we broke up, I started going to some non denom services. I liked them too, just like you. I felt more welcome. I helped out folks less fortunate while I was there, by going to their homes and washing or painting things...if I remember correctly.
> 
> Well, I did not like the ideas of the preacher as much as I thought, once I was there a while and started listening.
> 
> I never did go to another after that, but kept reading the bible and researching for a few years. I still do that from time to time. It's comforting.
> 
> My opinion is that you can't know when or if your husband will be exactly what you want, ever. You can only hope and support the decisions he makes that align with your hopes. From there, you compromise until you get close to breaking boundaries. You take serious action when it starts getting close. You definitely let him know what you want before and during marriage. Make it well know to him that you will only do certain things and what your goals are.
> 
> Ask him questions. Don't believe everything he says. He loves you and will tell you partly what he wants to do, but not only what he really believes if he was alone, or what he knows he is likely to do. Well, that's my opinion. I can't know what he will think or do. I've just seen it so often, I'm a bit wary when I think some young woman or man will believe through love goggles. I don't want anyone to be blindsided.
> 
> I wish I felt differently. Life changes us. Sometimes we are changed for the better and sometimes for the worse.


Thank you for sharing this 

I grew up Catholic but about 4 years ago, left the faith and became indifferent to it all, I'd say I identified as an atheist then. It was a scary time, but I just felt indifferent. I came back to faith last year, and was born again, so to speak. Like you say, the non denom churches seem very welcoming. Not that Catholics are not, my parents are Catholic and there are great Catholics in the church, but there was always a somber feeling, and not enough joy and smiling faces. I feel that one's faith should be a source of joy and peace, not just reverence and somberness. I hear what you're saying about my bf. We were friends for a few years before dating, he was my friend when I was engaged, but when I say 'friend,' not like a best friend. But trust has been built before we started dating, but I hear you. So, are you not married anymore, you were married twice? I don't mean to pry I'm just asking.


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## arbitrator

*Deidre* said:


> I'm so happy you found a home that you feel good about  I have heard that in marriage, some spouses take on whatever the faith of the other is, in some cases it works, in others, it might not. If this guy I'm dating is ''the one,'' I'm hopeful we're on the same page. I don't know all that much about the Methodism, I grew up Catholic, left it for a time and identified as an atheist, and came back to Christianity last year, but now follow a more non-denom approach to worship.


*Don't know where you are physically situated, @*Deidre* ~ but Google either John Wesley or the United Methodist Church! You can find out plenty there, or if you have questions, PM me and I'll be thrilled to answer any questions that you might have!

Regardless, make sure that you and your BF are on the same page, even if it means that the two of you are more attuned to a faith that neither of you presently belong to!

The best example that I can cite is my beloved boss. When he met his wide almost 50 years ago, He was a Missouri Synod Lutheran and his wife was a member of the Church of Christ. Neither could stand the others faith, so they compromised and thank God they chose the United Methodist Church, having been there together ever since!

Pray about it, visit as many churches as you can, and come to a decision that is preeminently the correct one for the both of you! 

And you'll know and sense a feeling of "rightness!" Because your heart will tell you so, and I'd like to think that that's simply God talking to you!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## *Deidre*

jorgegene said:


> I go to church with ny wife. Eastern rite.
> 
> if it's really important to you (and I assume it is), you need to discern that he's a true believer grounded in the faith, so you don't find yourself down the line unequally yoked before you tie that knot.


I agree, but I try to be open minded to all approaches. But, in marriage, things can change, especially when it comes to how to raise kids. 

So you say you go to church, do you believe what your wife does, or do you attend to just support her in her faith?


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## 2ntnuf

*Deidre* said:


> Thank you for sharing this
> 
> I grew up Catholic but about 4 years ago, left the faith and became indifferent to it all, I'd say I identified as an atheist then. It was a scary time, but I just felt indifferent. I came back to faith last year, and was born again, so to speak. Like you say, the non denom churches seem very welcoming. Not that Catholics are not, my parents are Catholic and there are great Catholics in the church, but there was always a somber feeling, and not enough joy and smiling faces. I feel that one's faith should be a source of joy and peace, not just reverence and somberness. I hear what you're saying about my bf. We were friends for a few years before dating, he was my friend when I was engaged, but when I say 'friend,' not like a best friend. But trust has been built before we started dating, but I hear you. So, are you not married anymore, you were married twice? I don't mean to pry I'm just asking.


My biggest issue is not being able to receive the sacraments. I do think those help immensely. I suppose I could, but I'd have to go back to what you describe so well there. Somber, sad, guilt ridden, flagellated congregations, no real sense of welcome or push to have good fun and happiness. 

ps.: The Gospel = Good News! Isn't that ironic?!  ee.

In my search, the closest I could find to the original teachings of the apostles is the Eastern Orthodox church. I read online manuscripts from the first and second centuries. 

But, I've been to the EOC for weddings, funerals, Sunday mass, and Easter masses. I don't know that it's the buildings, so much as the church(read congregation) that drives me away. 

Anyway, no, I am not married. I have not been since 2012. I haven't dated or been with anyone in any way since just before my then wife left, and it was with her. 

Here is a little from that time. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/16451178-post193.html


I still have some issues. I'm working on them. I come here to learn from you!  :laugh: just kidding No, not you specifically, but you have taught me a few things with your posts. Others, many others have also. And, I want to share my cynical views so others aren't naïve about what could happen. I hope they take marriage very seriously.


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## arbitrator

*Deidre* said:


> I agree, but I try to be open minded to all approaches. But, in marriage, things can change, especially when it comes to how to raise kids.
> 
> So you say you go to church, do you believe what your wife does, or do you attend to just support her in her faith?


*As a married, committed couple, you attend Church to stir your inner soul and to support each other emotionally as well as spiritually! 

And later on when you are blessed with kids, you extend that spirituality to them, to give them something that they can see in the both of you !*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## *Deidre*

arbitrator said:


> *Don't know where you are physically situated, @*Deidre* ~ but Google either John Wesley or the United Methodist Church! You can find out plenty there, or if you have questions, PM me and I'll be thrilled to answer any questions that you might have!
> 
> Regardless, make sure that you and your BF are on the same page, even if it means that the two of you are more attuned to a faith that neither of you presently belong to!
> 
> The best example that I can cite is my beloved boss. When he met his wide almost 50 years ago, He was a Missouri Synod Lutheran and his wife was a member of the Church of Christ. Neither could stand the others faith, so they compromised and thank God they chose the United Methodist Church, having been there together ever since!
> 
> Pray about it, visit as many churches as you can, and come to a decision that is preeminently the correct one for the both of you!
> 
> And you'll know and sense a feeling of "rightness!" Because your heart will tell you so, and I'd like to think that that's simply God talking to you!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is so true, and perhaps I will pm you. I don't keep my pm's open on here, but maybe I'll write to you with some questions. 

The pastor today talked about the passage about ''hating your brother, sister, mother'' in order to follow Jesus. And it doesn't mean to hate them, but it means to not let anyone cause you to stumble in your faith. To not let your parents, your spouse, sibling, etc...cause you to lose your faith. In other words, anything can become an idol, and we shouldn't worship our marriages. I believe that if both the husband and wife are followers of God, then He comes first, and the marriage comes second, and the marriage should be good because of this. As a believer, I think this. That said, many people become consumed with their marriages, degrading themselves, and doing things to keep their marriages, forgetting that God isn't really pleased with how they're going about it. I don't think all marriages should be saved, nor can be saved. Many people who are believers, leave God out of the equation completely, they don't invite Him into discerning over choosing the right spouse, and I think that is a huge problem facing Christians today, when it comes to marriage. Evangelical Christians have the highest divorce date. :|


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## NotEasy

Yes we attend together. We both see it as important that we attend together and both have a strong active faith.

Your future marriage and your faith will become bound together somewhat. Both change, either for better or worse, better when both partners are working together. It is possible to grow your faith without your partner growing with you, just like it is possible for one partner to keep a marriage going, but it is harder.

Denominations are important, what you believe matters; but people are vital, you grow by serving and helping each other. Find a congregation that you can grow in, not a denomination.


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## jorgegene

*Deidre* said:


> I agree, but I try to be open minded to all approaches. But, in marriage, things can change, especially when it comes to how to raise kids.
> 
> So you say you go to church, do you believe what your wife does, or do you attend to just support her in her faith?


We're both equally committed.

Personally, I've been all over the place.
Baptist, roman catholic, eastern, and in between.

I 'm one of thoses who refuse to believe the differences are large enough to keep us from all being christian.


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## becareful2

Be careful that he's not just doing this to earn brownie points from you. It's so easy to pass oneself off as a good Christian, anybody can do it. Then later on in the marriage, you find that they were faking it all along and have this addiction or that addiction. It takes years of work and private commitment to be able to call down the power of heaven. I like @SimplyAmorous' approach to finding her husband.


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## Spicy

Absolutely I do.


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## Quality

My wife and I attend and serve together too.

Non-denominational church.



*Deidre* said:


> Evangelical Christians have the highest divorce date. :|


That's not wholly accurate ~~ 

Excerpt from {link}



> Bradford Wilcox, sociology professor at the University of Virginia and director of the National Marriage Project, disagrees.
> 
> "The claim … that religion doesn't help marriage is bunk," he said. "In terms of people being integrated into a religious community—be it Protestant, Catholic, or Jewish—there is a strong correlation between the couple's integration and marital quality."
> 
> The key distinction in the data: identity versus practice.
> 
> Research has consistently shown that religious self-identification is much less important than actual religious practice, said Wilcox. People who regularly attend church are 35 percent less likely to divorce, he said.
> 
> "Lukewarm Christianity is a disaster for family life," said Wilcox. "Nominal conservative Protestants and evangelicals do worse in their marriages than other Americans.… Being a lukewarm Baptist in Arkansas or Kentucky or other Southern states is a big risk factor for family dysfunction."


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## Personal

...


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## no name

My hubby is an atheist , iam
More of an agnostic ... I still go to church with my parents and siblings etc but only for family occasions like Xmas, Easter , Mother's Day etc it's more a family tradition for me. Hubby doesn't go regardless. So to answer your query, We are a couple that don't go to church together. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## *Deidre*

no name said:


> My hubby is an atheist , iam
> More of an agnostic ... I still go to church with my parents and siblings etc but only for family occasions like Xmas, Easter , Mother's Day etc it's more a family tradition for me. Hubby doesn't go regardless. So to answer your query, We are a couple that don't go to church together.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


That's interesting that you go as a tradition thing. When I was an atheist, I went on occasion with my parents to mass, as they are Catholic. I looked at your thread by the way, and hope that you and your hubby can find a good balance.


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## *Deidre*

Quality said:


> My wife and I attend and serve together too.
> 
> Non-denominational church.


Hi Quality, do you think your faith helps your relationship with your wife?


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## EllisRedding

I take my boys to church for their religion class, but that is it. I grew up going to Church every weekend b/c of my Mom, but as an adult I just never really felt like I get much out of it. Same goes for my W, who actually went to Catholic school. That is not to say I have little faith, I honestly wish I got more out of church than I do. Also, having a young family and constantly running around makes it just that much harder to make a commitment to something with the little free time we have.


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## Ynot

I suppose sharing a belief in something is one of the common elements that bonds couples together. Having said that, I personally do not believe in any of the revealed religions. I know God exist but I certainly do not need nor want any mortal man to attempt to tell me how my relationship with God should be. I have felt this way for most of my life. I was raised as a Catholic, i tried several denominations of Christianity and found none of them believable. My ex had not been religious at all when we met. I had a near death experience and SHE made a commitment to start attending church. (Apparently she thought my living was a reward for her promise). She dragged us (me and the kids) to various churches over the years, but none of us (me and the kids) were able to buy into what they were selling. She finally gave up. I did feel it was important that my children be exposed to religion so that they could make up their own minds. They have. They choose not to go to church. As for my ex, I have no clue if she goes or not. I highly doubt it. While she used my survival as an excuse, I have come to feel that it was more about appearances than anything else. Now, I look for women who are spiritual but not religious. So I guess not going to church with my partner is just as important to me as going to church with your partner is to some of you. I simply don't want or need any part of it. IMO aside from sharing the common belief, religion stifles not only a relationship but life itself.


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## jld

*Deidre* said:


> This is so true, and perhaps I will pm you. I don't keep my pm's open on here, but maybe I'll write to you with some questions.
> 
> The pastor today talked about the passage about ''hating your brother, sister, mother'' in order to follow Jesus. And it doesn't mean to hate them, but it means to not let anyone cause you to stumble in your faith. To not let your parents, your spouse, sibling, etc...cause you to lose your faith. In other words, anything can become an idol, and we shouldn't worship our marriages. I believe that if both the husband and wife are followers of God, then He comes first, and the marriage comes second, and the marriage should be good because of this. As a believer, I think this. That said, many people become consumed with their marriages, degrading themselves, and doing things to keep their marriages, forgetting that God isn't really pleased with how they're going about it. I don't think all marriages should be saved, nor can be saved. Many people who are believers, leave God out of the equation completely, they don't invite Him into discerning over choosing the right spouse, and I think that is a huge problem facing Christians today, when it comes to marriage. Evangelical Christians have the highest divorce date. :|


I agree with you that some people make an idol out of staying married. They are often co-dependent.


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## jld

Dug and I grew up Catholic, and it has certainly influenced our thinking and our marriage. Many people think we are born again Christians, as we have several children and homeschool.

We do not go to church very often (maybe once every couple years). But as a couple, we have the same values and goals. We are family-focused people. 

I look up to Dug, and that is really what gives him power in this marriage. If I did not genuinely respect him, he would not have that influence over me. He has my respect because he earns it, not because he is somehow entitled to it.


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## *Deidre*

Ynot said:


> I suppose sharing a belief in something is one of the common elements that bonds couples together. Having said that, I personally do not believe in any of the revealed religions. I know God exist but I certainly do not need nor want any mortal man to attempt to tell me how my relationship with God should be. I have felt this way for most of my life. I was raised as a Catholic, i tried several denominations of Christianity and found none of them believable. My ex had not been religious at all when we met. I had a near death experience and SHE made a commitment to start attending church. (Apparently she thought my living was a reward for her promise). She dragged us (me and the kids) to various churches over the years, but none of us (me and the kids) were able to buy into what they were selling. She finally gave up. I did feel it was important that my children be exposed to religion so that they could make up their own minds. They have. They choose not to go to church. As for my ex, I have no clue if she goes or not. I highly doubt it. While she used my survival as an excuse, I have come to feel that it was more about appearances than anything else. Now, I look for women who are spiritual but not religious. So I guess not going to church with my partner is just as important to me as going to church with your partner is to some of you. I simply don't want or need any part of it. IMO aside from sharing the common belief, religion stifles not only a relationship but life itself.


I hear you, I don't think that one needs to attend church at all if that's their desire. God isn't contained in a building, for a believer, He's in our hearts. He is in our lives. The church I've been attending now, the pastor just really helps understand the Bible better than I used to understand it. I like the songs they choose, and there is an energy there, people of all ages that are worshiping together. It's a great atmosphere, and sadly one I didn't experience in the Catholic Church. But, if I never went to church again, my faith would remain. I understand your points, often people get caught up in religion and not faith (or life).


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## *Deidre*

jld said:


> Dug and I grew up Catholic, and it has certainly influenced our thinking and our marriage. Many people think we are born again Christians, as we have several children and homeschool.
> 
> We do not go to church very often (maybe once every couple years). But as a couple, we have the same values and goals. We are family-focused people.
> 
> I look up to Dug, and that is really what gives him power in this marriage. If I did not genuinely respect him, he would not have that influence over me. He has my respect because he earns it, not because he is somehow entitled to it.


Agree with this, that respect is earned. You and Dug seem to have a solid great marriage, I've read your posts and they show this.


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## jld

*Deidre* said:


> Agree with this, that respect is earned. You and Dug seem to have a solid great marriage, I've read your posts and they show this.


Thanks.


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## Ynot

*Deidre* said:


> I hear you, I don't think that one needs to attend church at all if that's their desire. God isn't contained in a building, for a believer, He's in our hearts. He is in our lives. The church I've been attending now, the pastor just really helps understand the Bible better than I used to understand it. I like the songs they choose, and there is an energy there, people of all ages that are worshiping together. It's a great atmosphere, and sadly one I didn't experience in the Catholic Church. But, if I never went to church again, my faith would remain. I understand your points, often people get caught up in religion and not faith (or life).


Well for me, even the Bible is unbelievable. Oh don't get me wrong one can get some great lessons from it. The problem is you have to pick and choose. Which is the problem with most religions - that is exactly what they do. And what doesn't fit in, gets explained away. As I said I do not need some doofus that studied fairytales from long ago tell me how I should relate to God. As far as I am concerned, God is within each of us and all around us. It is up to each of us to hear and feel and learn. Church and religion is just a crutch to NOT have to do that. Why think about something when it comes all wrapped up in a pretty little box. It is why most people remain stuck in life.


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## SimplyAmorous

becareful2 said:


> Be careful that he's not just doing this to earn brownie points from you. It's so easy to pass oneself off as a good Christian, anybody can do it. Then later on in the marriage, you find that they were faking it all along and have this addiction or that addiction. It takes years of work and private commitment to be able to call down the power of heaven. I like @SimplyAmorous' approach to finding her husband.


 Yeah.. I got down on my knees and prayed to meet a good guy.. one who wanted me FOR ME.. not just to get into my pants.. 

I didn't want to go through heart break after heartbreak -if it could be avoided.. just wanted to find the love of my life... My hope was to marry younger.. start our family together.....experiencing all life has hand in hand, through it's ups & downs... 

Probably good I lived in another generation.. men RUN from any woman who feels like this today! 

Thank you @becareful2 .. it was Ellis's thread that shared how they met >> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/345794-how-did-you-meet-your-so.html

We were backwards... I was the one TRYING to be the Christian.. my husband was never a religious guy.. if I got out the Bible ... he'd be falling asleep...but a caring good soul none the less...

I'd say he had far more of those "Fruits of the spirit" over me - still does today...

He never minded going to church with me or anything we did.. at one point we were going 3 times a week when our oldest was about 2 yrs old (20 + yrs ago now)...we made a # of friends at that church.. we still call them friends today... We even got baptized together at one point.. 

We no longer go to church... but our oldest has been an off & on Worship Leader in a few Church's now.. we go to see him play now & then...checking out a new one..


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## susan e jackson

I badly wanted to. We went to church in the initial times now it's like, he is not coming with me and nor interested to be part of any types fellowship. I want to have good old days back to my life. I want my man to think the way your man did. It is a wonderful feeling, I know to get a person that trust god .


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## becareful2

Anyone here read about *this story*?


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## tripod

I grew up in the Lutheran church. Mom took the kids. Dad didn't go. Lost all respect for the church when after an acrimonious and painful divorce, the good pastor at our family church told mom she couldn't take communion as she was a DIVORCED WOMAN! Well f*ck you Grace Lutheran. It's been 50 years and I still remember my mother's pain. 

Most recently have been attending United Church of Christ (UCC) meetings...have to laugh... UCC means "Unitarians Considering Christ" My wife was raised a Southern Baptist, beaten by her Bible-quoting mother, and NO! she doesn't go to church or have anything to do with anything churchy.


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## JustTheWife

I know this is an old thread but I wanted to say that i do think that it's important. My husband and I attend services every week together and we come from different starting points but we are on the journey together. He helped bring me into faith in God and i'm happy for that. We also have only lived in this area for a few months and it's a good way to meet people (although this is a secondary benefit).


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## Ynot

Ynot said:


> I suppose sharing a belief in something is one of the common elements that bonds couples together. Having said that, I personally do not believe in any of the revealed religions. I know God exist but I certainly do not need nor want any mortal man to attempt to tell me how my relationship with God should be. I have felt this way for most of my life. I was raised as a Catholic, i tried several denominations of Christianity and found none of them believable. My ex had not been religious at all when we met. I had a near death experience and SHE made a commitment to start attending church. (Apparently she thought my living was a reward for her promise). She dragged us (me and the kids) to various churches over the years, but none of us (me and the kids) were able to buy into what they were selling. She finally gave up. I did feel it was important that my children be exposed to religion so that they could make up their own minds. They have. They choose not to go to church. As for my ex, I have no clue if she goes or not. I highly doubt it. While she used my survival as an excuse, I have come to feel that it was more about appearances than anything else. Now, I look for women who are spiritual but not religious. So I guess not going to church with my partner is just as important to me as going to church with your partner is to some of you. I simply don't want or need any part of it. IMO aside from sharing the common belief, religion stifles not only a relationship but life itself.


Funny I wrote this over a year ago. It still holds true. In fact the woman I am currently dating is also a victim of what she calls "weaponized religion". Her ex become progressively more and more catholic, to the point of driving a wedge between him and his family. His own children asked him to move out and want no part of what his thinking. She OTOH is very spiritual so I guess I found someone like minded. And one of the great things about it is going out to breakfast and getting seated right away because we go before the church crowd arrives.


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