# Husband has moved to othe room



## mrsromance (Oct 21, 2010)

I am so frustrated and would like to know if i should be more understanding or i have reason to be. My husband sleeps in the guestroom, leaving me and my almost 2 year sleeping in our bed. I know i should move my son to his own room, but that easier said than done. He won't even sleep in his own bed w/o waking up wanting to come back in the bed. I do plan on moving him once its get warmer. Anyways, I feel like its just me and my child. I am a stay at home mom so i am with him all the time. I would like a break sometimes or at least feel as if we are in this together. I feel like its not fair that my husbands get to go off in another room to sleep every night and leave me with the baby. Am I being unreasonable since i stay home. I really want to hear how many couple sleep with their children before i confront him once again. I just don't think this is normal. I am starting to feel like we are living separate lives. By the way he is a good father and husband for the most part. of course i wish he would do somethings different as i know he wishes i would as well.


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## gregj123 (Dec 29, 2010)

You need to put the baby in his bed,break the habit its hard for a few weeks but he needs to help too.but he needs sleep to work


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## lace5262 (Oct 13, 2010)

mrsromance said:


> I feel like its not fair that my husbands get to go off in another room to sleep every night and leave me with the baby. Am I being unreasonable since i stay home. I really want to hear how many couple sleep with their children before i confront him once again. I just don't think this is normal. I am starting to feel like we are living separate lives. By the way he is a good father and husband for the most part. of course i wish he would do somethings different as i know he wishes i would as well.


I would imagine your husband doesn't think it's fair to have a baby in his bed. We have never allowed our kids to sleep with us unless they were REALLY sick, as in running a fever. I always felt like it was 'the marital bed', not a family bed.


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## mrsromance (Oct 21, 2010)

I always said i would not let my baby sleep in the bed, but i had a preemie he was hooked on monitors and oxygen and it was easier to keep an eye on him and he seemed to sleep better when he was in the bed. I moved him to his own bed, but we took a few out of town trips where we all slept together and it kind of set him back. Honestly, i think my husband is ok with the situation and likes sleeping in the other room. I am the way who does not like it, but find it easier to let him sleep in the bed rather than wake up after an hour of falling asleep to him crying and wanting to get in the bed.


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## mrsromance (Oct 21, 2010)

gregj123 said:


> You need to put the baby in his bed,break the habit its hard for a few weeks but he needs to help too.but he needs sleep to work


A few weeks, i was hoping i could get this done over the weekend. Guess its not that easy. But i am ready to do it for my own sanity.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

mrsromance said:


> I am so frustrated and would like to know if i should be more understanding or i have reason to be. My husband sleeps in the guestroom, leaving me and my almost 2 year sleeping in our bed. I know i should move my son to his own room, but that easier said than done. He won't even sleep in his own bed w/o waking up wanting to come back in the bed. I do plan on moving him once its get warmer.


This is your marriage. Get your child into his own room. He is 2. He won't WANT to. But he doesn't need to. He is not the parent. He is not the one who knows what is best for the family.

Read Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem if needs be.



> Anyways, I feel like its just me and my child. I am a stay at home mom so i am with him all the time. I would like a break sometimes or at least feel as if we are in this together. I feel like its not fair that my husbands get to go off in another room to sleep every night and leave me with the baby. Am I being unreasonable since i stay home. I really want to hear how many couple sleep with their children before i confront him once again. I just don't think this is normal.


Frankly, I think you are the one making the mistake. Sleeping with your child is going to cause MORE problems not less as time moves on.


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## lace5262 (Oct 13, 2010)

Have you asked your husband why he's sleeping in the guest room?


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Since you've trained your 2-year-old to pitch a fit if removed from the bed, it will take some doing to retrain the kid to sleep alone.

But you'd better do it. Your H already knows where he sits in the marital food chain so he moved to the other room. 

You may think it trivial and "short-term" but I am sure he doesn't.

Are you sure you're not using your kid as an avoidance technique?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Your husband has to work, he needs good sleep. 

People usually have another bed for the baby if they do want to let the baby sleep in the same room.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

michzz said:


> Since you've trained your 2-year-old to pitch a fit if removed from the bed, it will take some doing to retrain the kid to sleep alone.


This is true. But it is less awful than you think. The thing is, I disagree with your referring to the 2yo as "baby". He isn't a baby anymore. He is a toddler. His cries are no longer always I need you right now. Sometimes they are I want what I want. And no matter how much we hate to hear our children cry, sometimes we have to for their own best interest.

Put him to bed in his bed. If he cries tell him, yes I know you are not happy. This is something that you need to do. I love you. Good night. When he continues to cry go in after 5, 10 then 15 minutes. Don't pick him up. Pat his bum, rub his arm, whatever. Say something soothing and empathetic, and leave. Rinse and repeat until he falls asleep. If he wakes in the night, repeat.

The next night same procedure except up the time to 10, 15, 20 minutes.

It may take a couple of nights.

Good luck!


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Don't make excuses for why your child has to sleep with you. It is totally in your control. Recognize that to be a good mother to your child, you have to be a good wife to your husband. It's a big mistake to allow your child to sleep in your bed on many levels. Mainly, you are are not setting limits and boundaries with your child and second you are hurting your marriage.


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