# It's amazing how much of male behavior needs to be catered to a woman's cycle



## SeparationAnxiety (Mar 24, 2016)

So I am still learning here on how to get to reconciliation after my wife wanted to divorce (and now we're just separating after much convincing on my part not to jump the gun).

What I've learned over the last two months or so is that a lot of what I do and its success is very directly tied to where she is in her menstrual cycle. During ovulation, she is very accepting and during menstruation she is much more rejecting. So, it seems that the most successful attempts for reconciliation need to happen during ovulation and I need to almost lie low during menstruation (and even post ovulation to some extent due to PMS).

Time is not on my side it seems, because the period of her being accepting of me is rather brief each month.

Has anyone else felt this way? I am surprised this does not come up much on this forum - it seems to be the (or at least a) key to reconciliation success.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

I would advise you to just be the best you. If you are authentic to that true you
That has to be good enough.

Hormonal issued notwithstanding...the rest are excuses for bad behavior,be they yours or hers.

55


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## SeparationAnxiety (Mar 24, 2016)

just got it 55 said:


> I would advise you to just be the best you. If you are authentic to that true you
> That has to be good enough.
> 
> Hormonal issued notwithstanding...the rest are excuses for bad behavior,be they yours or hers.
> ...


Sure, one can ignore the menstrual cycle, but I can assure you that the menstrual cycle will not ignore you, at least based on my experiences over the last couple of months. I suppose that different women are affected differently, but all of the approaches toward reconciliation that completely ignore the menstrual cycle are only half-attempts.

If you want to do right by yourself in terms of having the best chance to reconcile, the cycle cannot be ignored (talking about pre-menopause here, of course).


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## Relationship Teacher (Jan 3, 2016)

SeparationAnxiety said:


> So I am still learning here on how to get to reconciliation after my wife wanted to divorce (and now we're just separating after much convincing on my part not to jump the gun).
> 
> What I've learned over the last two months or so is that a lot of what I do and its success is very directly tied to where she is in her menstrual cycle. During ovulation, she is very accepting and during menstruation she is much more rejecting. So, it seems that the most successful attempts for reconciliation need to happen during ovulation and I need to almost lie low during menstruation (and even post ovulation to some extent due to PMS).
> 
> ...


Women are highly affected by hormones. That said, you can't be someone else, just because others accept you differently. She needs you to be you. In fact, I write or advise (often) that relationships make all of their ground in difficult moments.

You might make illusory ground during those few moments that you indicated, but you have to live with that person and interact every single day.

What you need is a consistent approach that works all of the time. If my partner is upset, I listen more. The overall approach is not different. To successfully reconnect, you need to be consistent, like a clock. You have to be there for her, no matter what her mood is. 

My partner had an abysmal pregnancy. Trust me, she remembers my unconditionally loving approach.

I hope this helps.

Remember to be consistent and stay the course.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

SeparationAnxiety said:


> So I am still learning here on how to get to reconciliation after my wife wanted to divorce (and now we're just separating after much convincing on my part not to jump the gun).
> 
> What I've learned over the last two months or so is that a lot of what I do and its success is very directly tied to where she is in her menstrual cycle. During ovulation, she is very accepting and during menstruation she is much more rejecting. So, it seems that the most successful attempts for reconciliation need to happen during ovulation and I need to almost lie low during menstruation (and even post ovulation to some extent due to PMS).
> 
> ...


Athol Kay mentions this in his books - MMSLP, MAP.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

SeparationAnxiety said:


> Sure, one can ignore the menstrual cycle, but I can assure you that the menstrual cycle will not ignore you, at least based on my experiences over the last couple of months. I suppose that different women are affected differently, but all of the approaches toward reconciliation that completely ignore the menstrual cycle are only half-attempts.
> 
> If you want to do right by yourself in terms of having the best chance to reconcile, the cycle cannot be ignored (talking about pre-menopause here, of course).


Ignore hell no but mindful yes
But they should not affect who you are.

55


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