# Custody: STBXH still making bad decisions



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

I filed for sole legal and pyshical custody with visitation 10% of the time from STBXH.

He has shown such incredibly bad judgement in the past with regards to who and what our son is exposed to I felt that if he can't be trusted to make responsible decisions I will make those decisions for him.

So it turns out the young skank he got pregnant is a friend of his 22 yo daughters (his DD from another relationship), IF that is not gross enough the skank has been yelling from the rooftops she is pregnant with my husband's baby... my step daughter knows about the pregnancy and she lives with my STBXH. Step daughter threatens to tell our son when she gets in a fight with my STBXH. Step daughter hates me (always has) so will not respect my wishes.

I have discussed this issue at length with our family therapist and the therapist said our son being who he is and his emotional issues related to his autism and ADD and anxiety, will need a long process of therapy to prepare him for this news. My poor little boy already thinks daddy left because he was "broken"... How I hate my STBXH for what he's done to us. 

So I tried to talk to the STBXH about limiting my son's exposure to his daughter and the skank who apparently keeps on coming over and starting disturbing scenes in his front yard. I told him at least until his daughter moves out he could have visitation at my house (I would leave of course) or take my son out for the day. The ex YET AGAIN laughed at me and told me he can do what he wants with our son. I explained my reasoning for this request and was told "you're being rediculous". I asked him please lets work this out between us. He said "F#*K OFF". 

So off I go to the courthouse today to file a stay away order for these 2 nutbag women. I've prepared a statement for the judgement supporting my request.

Can anyone chime in on this? Stay away orders on custody paperwork in California? Am I just hoping or do the judges take emotional needs of the kids into consideration... Please help!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Unless your STBXH has a history of domestic violence, child abuse or neglect (as defined by your State), 10% visitation restricted to only your home doesn't sound reasonable. You may not approve of his female companion and I doubt any ex wife approves of any young new thang her ex husband hangs with, but that doesn't make him an unfit parent. If your husband signs your proposed agreement, he's nuts. 
With all the strange family relationships in California, I can't imagine your husband's situation raising many eyebrows among the judiciary.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Unless your STBXH has a history of domestic violence, child abuse or neglect (as defined by your State), 10% visitation restricted to only your home doesn't sound reasonable. You may not approve of his female companion and I doubt any ex wife approves of any young new thang her ex husband hangs with, but that doesn't make him an unfit parent. If your husband signs your proposed agreement, he's nuts.
> With all the strange family relationships in California, I can't imagine your husband's situation raising many eyebrows among the judiciary.


Would her son’s special needs not make a difference to the court, especially if she can get documentation from his doctor and her therapist that the boy could not handle the situation?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Frostflower said:


> Would her son’s special needs not make a difference to the court, especially if she can get documentation from his doctor and her therapist that the boy could not handle the situation?


I get the impression that his doctor and her therapist have only heard her side of the story.

The child's needs, even with his disorders, includes having his father in his life. The child already thinks his father left because he's 'broken'. This child needs time with his father so his father cn assure him that he's loved and he's not 'broken'.

It's highly unlikely that any judge would go along with a 10%, controlled, visitation. The child has two parents who have equal rights.


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

I just want to keep the skank away from my kids. He can be with them, but damn, keep your w4ore away from them. We just separated. Give them time to process. 

Can you file a motion that neither woman is allowed around? Is that even legally possible?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You need to talk to a real lawyer in your area. You can include a "morality clause" in your separation/divorce agreement. Goggle search for "morality clause divorce" to see some options.

No idea how enforceable they are, though... Or how practical.

C


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