# Lost



## Ethol

Hi, my husband wont stop drinking, he is very abusive and blames me for his life not going the way he wants, he slams doors scaring the animals, we dont have any affection for each other and he is always telling me to leave his house when we wouldnt be here in this house if it wasnt for my unit that I bought before I met him, I bought a ute that he says is his when he never even paid a cent to it or my unit and now he spends most of his money on alcohol and his new brewing interest, now he is starting to go to poker nights betting money, he has a $35,000 tax debt, I pay for both the rates on the house and unit, I pay the electricity and water, I pay for all the cat and dog foods, vet bills, car rego and also food. He only pays for the two loans on the house, he earns heaps more than me and I just cant do this anymore, I cant afford the divorce as I dont want to lose my unit or my car


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## BigDaddyNY

Ethol said:


> Hi, my husband wont stop drinking, he is very abusive and blames me for his life not going the way he wants, he slams doors scaring the animals, we dont have any affection for each other and he is always telling me to leave his house when we wouldnt be here in this house if it wasnt for my unit that I bought before I met him, I bought a ute that he says is his when he never even paid a cent to it or my unit and now he spends most of his money on alcohol and his new brewing interest, now he is starting to go to poker nights betting money, he has a $35,000 tax debt, I pay for both the rates on the house and unit, I pay the electricity and water, I pay for all the cat and dog foods, vet bills, car rego and also food. He only pays for the two loans on the house, he earns heaps more than me and I just cant do this anymore, I cant afford the divorce as I dont want to lose my unit or my car


How long have you been married and any kids? Divorce seem like the only option from what you stated here. I know you are afraid of losing assets, but are those material items worth more than you mental and physical health? Are they really valuable enough for you to put up with the abuse. Right now it sounds like it is only emotional abuse, but he is a drunk. It could easily get physical. Please protect yourself.


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## LisaDiane

There is no need to think about divorce right now, you just need to leave him. You are in an emotional pressure cooker, so you cannot think clearly about what you want and what you need to do, and everything feels like it's hopeless and impossible.

Your only concern right now should be getting some space from him to recover enough emotionally to decide what you need to do for yourself and your best interests. Worrying about "divorce" isn't even a relevant part of that yet.


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## Diana7

Didn't you start another thread yesterday? 
There you were advised to separate. Get a restraining order out on him.


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## Trident

Two choices, stay with the abusive husband and keep the comforts of the unit and the car, or divorce him and make it work with whatever you've got left after the dust settles.

Things tend to work out- maybe you'll end up with a not as nice a place and a smaller car but it's probably worth the tradeoff.

Also he'll probably have to pay you support for some amount of time, don't forget to factor that in to the equation.


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## ThatDarnGuy!

Ethol said:


> Hi, my husband wont stop drinking, he is very abusive and blames me for his life not going the way he wants, he slams doors scaring the animals, we dont have any affection for each other and he is always telling me to leave his house when we wouldnt be here in this house if it wasnt for my unit that I bought before I met him, I bought a ute that he says is his when he never even paid a cent to it or my unit and now he spends most of his money on alcohol and his new brewing interest, now he is starting to go to poker nights betting money, he has a $35,000 tax debt, I pay for both the rates on the house and unit, I pay the electricity and water, I pay for all the cat and dog foods, vet bills, car rego and also food. He only pays for the two loans on the house, he earns heaps more than me and I just cant do this anymore, I cant afford the divorce as I dont want to lose my unit or my car


I ask that you take a piece of paper and write down what benefit you get from being in this relationship.... It sounds like you wont even need to pick up the pen as there is nothing good.


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