# Afraid to move in with my girlfriend



## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

We've been dating for two years now. Just a few month shy of it. We we're quarantined together for a couple of months because of Covid-19 while her adult son was at her house with his gf. She gets along great with my 16 year old daughter and has become very important to my her. My daughter has told her many personal things that she's never told me or her mother. So I know there's trust there. On top of that, my gf gets along with my sister and her husband and their kids, in spite of some misunderstandings during a recent weekend beach getaway. on top of that, both of her adult sons seem to like me and supportive of their mom being happy.

After a 20 plus year marriage, I know how things change being under the same roof. I can even realize the mistakes that I made which I hope to not repeat in the future.

I went from having an Asexual wife with no intimacy and affection and with almost no emotions to a woman who is all about the cuddles, kissing, affection, and is over the top sensitive. I guess I should be careful what I wish for. I think I got exactly what I wanted.

My gf and her ex-husband are both on the mortgage even though he lives in another state and he'd be in favor of me moving in. We have met and he seems like a good guy. I think he is ready to sell their house and my gf and I could possibly buy it together. I don't know if I want a mortgage with somebody at the moment. Although I would have a longer commute to work and to my daughters school, it could possible work.

Her younget son finally moved out with his gf and now, she wants me to move in with her. I'm just a bit scared moving the relationship forward, especially after my long term marriage. I don't want to screw it up.


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## nypsychnurse (Jan 13, 2019)

What is it that you're afraid Of? Tell us more...

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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I think I know what you mean Trickster. I’ve said something very similar to my BF.

I was married for almost 26 years and when I think about doing that again the first thing that crosses my mind is this fear that cohabitating or remarrying could definitely ruin something special with someone new. It’s like there’s this fear that everyday life and all it entails will cause us to lose what we’ve got. Like the mundane will take over and smother the flame. 

Yet at the same time I’d love to wake up next to my favorite person every single day.

I sometimes think maybe making sure to have plenty of time apart would be a good thing after moving in together. Give each person the chance to miss the other and keep that flame fanned. 

I hope I understood you correctly, if not, apologies.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

Not said:


> I think I know what you mean Trickster. I’ve said something very similar to my BF.
> 
> I was married for almost 26 years and when I think about doing that again the first thing that crosses my mind is this fear that cohabitating or remarrying could definitely ruin something special with someone new. It’s like there’s this fear that everyday life and all it entails will cause us to lose what we’ve got. Like the mundane will take over and smother the flame.
> 
> ...



This exactly. Sometimes I like our time apart so I can do my thing because I feel I give up some of my hobby's for together time. Nothing wrong with that. I've changed a lot over the last couple of years. Also, I don't necessarily want her to play the step-mom role for my 16 year old. 

I definitely love waking up to find her arms wrapped around me.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Trickster said:


> This exactly. Sometimes I like our time apart so I can do my thing because I feel I give up some of my hobby's for together time. Nothing wrong with that. I've changed a lot over the last couple of years. Also, I don't necessarily want her to play the step-mom role for my 16 year old.
> 
> I definitely love waking up to find her arms wrapped around me.


Yes, I feel the same at this time. My BF has a ton of hobbies so I know he appreciates his alone time too. We get to where we really miss each other at times so it’s really good when we do see each other. I don’t want to lose that magic, don’t want to ruin it.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Married for 24 years, divorced almost 4, I do understand what you are saying. I am dating also and just want to enjoy life is what I say repeatedly. I don't want the hurt and the hardship, I don't feel I can deal with it. If you are not comfortable yet to live together, wait and with time you will have your answer.


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