# Do you have inappropriate sexual fantasies



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

From another thread, I'm wondering how many people have sexual fantasies of things that are totally inappropriate to be shared. Incest, rape, etc etc. Things that would be so awful in real life that you would not share them with a partner. 

Note - I'm not asking to hear *what* those fantasies are, just do they exist?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Sure, I have them all the time. I do share them with my partners, though.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

I'm human and I have a wondering mind. I do and I reserve the right to keep some of those fantasies to myself. That's part of being healthy and I will stay that way. I hope my partners keep some of those fantasies for them only. Not everything, especially fantasies need to be shared if not acted upon, especially if they are just random thoughts that will never become anything else.


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## DosXXMan (Jan 8, 2016)

You are going to have to define "inappropriate fantasies". Things that some might consider healthy and harmless others might consider immoral, sick and repugnant. I suggest you start a new poll asking people whether they consider specific fantasies to be "appropriate" or "inappropriate". And don't start with "rape" or "incest". I have the feeling a good number of people in here might find fantasizing about anyone other than their spouses to be inappropriate. Same for homosexual fantasies. Some find those "fun" and "natural", other think of those as "deviant" and "unhealthy".


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I didn't want to get into specific fantasies - partly because I think it violates the rules of this board.

What I'm talking about here are things that you would almost never share - unless you had a very unusually understanding partner. 

I have fantasies that I would like to share if my wife were not so easily disturbed, but others that would almost certainly need to remain private with almost anyone.

It is a fuzzy boundary - some people will accept pretty much anything as OK in fantasy, others would be shocked by some of the most common fantasies.


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## Celtic (Apr 7, 2017)

Nothing illegal, which genuinely surprises me but there are some 'acts' that I've only been able to enjoy with some partners and have had to keep secret from others.


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## ericthesane (May 10, 2013)

Some

and then, there are inappropriate fantasies that has no sexual sides to them... Such as chocking the living s*&& out of a few people that really deserves it, or, as per Chicago 'he had it coming'.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I have what would likely be defined by most as "inappropriate" fantasies and so does DH. However, we do share them with each other. 

Freaky, dark, violent...whatever...we have a " say anything" relationship. Some we've acted out or approximated and others we have decided are too damaging or dangerous and we wouldn't do it, but have fun talking about it.


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## Finwe (Nov 5, 2015)

I am curious as to what an inappropriate fantasy would be? Illegal for sure. But humiliation? Some folks like that sort of thing.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I don't entertain some of the mentioned fantasies because I'm not interested in them. There are other fantasies that I thought were too taboo to share but that were eventually shared, and even acted out.
On the other hand I have had some sleeping dreams that left me quite shaken when I awoke.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I view it as things that a significant fraction of people would find disturbing.

For some people homosexual fantasies fall into this category - a lot of women would be very concerned to hear that their husbands fantasized about being with another man.

For many violent fantasies are too shocking, but others find them completely OK.

Some of the things on porn sites are really disturbing - but since they are there, I assume there are people who enjoy them - at least as fantasy.


I guess my question was not well defined. I would not be shocked by almost any fantasy from my wife - though there are certainly ones I would not want to try. Other people would be shocked by what I would consider to be relatively mild fantasies. 







Finwe said:


> I am curious as to what an inappropriate fantasy would be? Illegal for sure. But humiliation? Some folks like that sort of thing.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Not particularly, unless Carla Gugino and Sofia Vergara count as inappropriate.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

uhtred said:


> From another thread, I'm wondering how many people have sexual fantasies of things that are totally inappropriate to be shared. Incest, rape, etc etc. Things that would be so awful in real life that you would not share them with a partner.
> 
> Note - I'm not asking to hear *what* those fantasies are, just do they exist?


Sure, but not what you are thinking. My wife and I have gone through sex therapy sessions to save our marriage. We have negotiated a variety of grid-lock sexual issues with each other and know our respective boundaries. 

I know absolutely that my wife will never give or receive oral. Do I occasionally fantasize about having oral sex with my wife? Yup. 

I remember when dating, she promised me that after we were married anything a husband and wife would do was allowed. I remember in therapy when she said that she would never be able to do that. I know she would be revolted and frightened if I told her I fantasized about having oral sex with her, so I won't, but she is still my wife and I love her.

Since I am aware of the other thread. None of my fantasies involved rape, incest, underage girls, or such things. They usually involve my wife, a past girl friend I dated (before my wife), or some future time what I might do if I outlive my wife. If my wife would ask me about my fantasies, I would clean them up a bit and share them with her, but I also know that she wants absolutely no knowledge of my sexual desires. She knows what we have agreed to and for her that is all she wants to know.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

I used to have many inappropriate fantasies. Because I fantasized about having sex with my wife. And her enjoying it. Long after it was clear she did not want to have sex with me and did not enjoy it on the rare occasions when we did. Now I have stopped having these inappropriate fantasies. I don't fantasize about sex with my wife. I fantasize about sex with other women. Because while I suspect they wouldn't want to have sex with me and wouldn't enjoy it, I don't know that to a moral certainty. With my wife, I do. So I don't.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

I think fantasies *have* to be inappropriate for them to be effective imo. I don't see the point of having vanilla, wholesome fantasies - it would do nothing for me. They have to cross boundaries and be outrageous and absolutely taboo and un-do-able in real life.


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## Celtic (Apr 7, 2017)

peacem said:


> I think fantasies *have* to be inappropriate for them to be effective imo. I don't see the point of having vanilla, wholesome fantasies - it would do nothing for me. They have to cross boundaries and be outrageous and absolutely taboo and un-do-able in real life.


I don't know...my fantasies of waking up to someone making me a fresh BLT on seeded bread along with an ice cold Dr Pepper has still yet to come true. It's starting to feel like the ultimate taboo!


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I answered no. 

I have a fantasy to rape. But it only includes raping my wife. And it starts with me surprising her, forcing myself on her, scaring her .... but ends with her getting incredibly turned on. It starts as rape but ends with great sex.

So is that inappropriate?

Do people actually fantasize about rape and it actually includes confronting a stranger, forcing them to have sex and then running off? Like actual rape? That would be disturbing to me.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Well I do wake up early, and I do make a mean BLT. As long as there is no sex involved . . . . . I'd be up for it.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

I answered "neither" because I do not think any sexual _fantasy _is inappropriate.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> Well I do wake up early, and I do make a mean BLT. As long as there is no sex involved . . . . . I'd be up for it.


Yea, but when you do it in real life, it won't be as great as the fantasy.


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## Celtic (Apr 7, 2017)

Mr. Nail said:


> Well I do wake up early, and I do make a mean BLT. As long as there is no sex involved . . . . . I'd be up for it.


Don't tease me you silver tongued devil you! :surprise:


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm sure some people have fantasies of committing actual rape. I expect some people have fantasies of being raped. They probably think of the fantasies as "realistic", but of course they aren't really - they are still carefully crafted to be arousing, not the violent and abusive reality. 

The thing about fantasy forced sex is that the person with the fantasy is in complete control of the behaviors of all people involved. Rape is a case of loss of control but in a fantasy you have complete control. 

Many other fantasies probably go the same way -they are imagined as "realistic" but in general get rid of all of the "bad" parts of a scenario and leave only the arousing parts.






SadSamIAm said:


> I answered no.
> 
> I have a fantasy to rape. But it only includes raping my wife. And it starts with me surprising her, forcing myself on her, scaring her .... but ends with her getting incredibly turned on. It starts as rape but ends with great sex.
> 
> ...


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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

I think fantasies of any nature can be normal even if the content is severely screwed up as long as you don't act on them. That being said if you feel like they're something that are causing you distress​ or you are worried that they could cause you or someone else distress then maybe seek the help of a therapist. 

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## Mollymolz (Jan 12, 2017)

DosXXMan said:


> You are going to have to define "inappropriate fantasies". Things that some might consider healthy and harmless others might consider immoral, sick and repugnant. I suggest you start a new poll asking people whether they consider specific fantasies to be "appropriate" or "inappropriate". And don't start with "rape" or "incest". I have the feeling a good number of people in here might find fantasizing about anyone other than their spouses to be inappropriate. Same for homosexual fantasies. Some find those "fun" and "natural", other think of those as "deviant" and "unhealthy".


Totally agree. 

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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

WRT fantasies, "unhealthy" also makes an appearance if one dwells on a fantasy to the point that not progressing from fantasy to action results in stress, unhappiness or resentment. Many fantasies may actually include none other than one's spouse, but involve doing something the spouse would never do. Placing these at the center of your fantasy life and indulging them can become inappropriate based on the effect it has on your relationship.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Mary says reality can never measure up to fantasy.

I always wonder about that girl.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

A lot of my fantasies are things I wouldn't want to happen in real life so I guess that makes them inappropriate.


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

I guess I'm hung up on the definition of inappropriate. Are we talking illegal like incest, child or rape or something like threesome or sleeping with your wife's best friend? Just saying aren't most fantasies inappropriate? That's why their fantasies and not reality?

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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

In general, I think fantasies by definition must be inappropriate if enacted. Or else it's not much of a fantasy. 

Most of my fantasies aren't sexual in nature. 
Most of my sexual fantasies involve some stuff that I actually have no desire to make reality. It's fun to imagine. The real thing would be a letdown.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I wouldn't feed or dwell on any fantasy that was illegal or immoral. After all we can control where our minds go. 
The sort of fantasies that to me would be unacceptable are anything that involves violence or force(rape, incest), sex with an underage person, bestiality, fantasizing about someone you are not married to, pretending your spouse is someone else when you have sex with them etc etc.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm starting to think I asked a dumb question. 

I was thinking of "appropriate" fantasies as things that many people would think are OK - as fantasies, even if not in reality. Maybe different / multiple partners. Unusual scenarios - secret agent, house maid. Mild kinky things like spankings. Things that would generally be OK if out were not in a relationship. 

I was thinking of inappropriate as things that would seriously shock many people - incest, rape etc. Things that would never be OK in real life. 





peterrabbit said:


> I guess I'm hung up on the definition of inappropriate. Are we talking illegal like incest, child or rape or something like threesome or sleeping with your wife's best friend? Just saying aren't most fantasies inappropriate? That's why their fantasies and not reality?
> 
> Sent from my XT1635-01 using Tapatalk


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

Thanks for explaining, in that case no, I don't have inappropriate fantasies. The problem with fantasies is they can consume you to the point where real sex no longer is satisfying. I would suggest anyone​ fantasizing about illegal/inappropriate things be cautious. 

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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-Love-N...8&qid=1495230542&sr=8-3&keywords=nancy+friday

I have this book and it made me think somewhat differently towards 'inappropriate' fantasies. However, there were chapters I skipped (yuk). 

The general essence of the book is that inappropriate fantasies are normal, but NOT acted upon, and they are very diverse and individual.

(if anyone wants a copy I will post if free - my charity will not take it)


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> I wouldn't feed or dwell on any fantasy that was illegal or immoral. After all we can control where our minds go.
> 
> The sort of fantasies that to me would be unacceptable are anything that involves violence or force(rape, incest), sex with an underage person, bestiality, fantasizing about someone you are not married to, pretending your spouse is someone else when you have sex with them etc etc.




Of course you wouldn't, dear. Because we all know you are a princess who ****s gold and it smells like roses, oh perfect one. 

All hail Diana! Princess of perfection!

I'll take a ban for this one...it's been coming 


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

peacem said:


> https://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-Love-N...8&qid=1495230542&sr=8-3&keywords=nancy+friday
> 
> I have this book and it made me think somewhat differently towards 'inappropriate' fantasies. However, there were chapters I skipped (yuk).
> 
> ...


Actually the women's version came first:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Secret-...sr=1-1&keywords=nancy+friday+my+secret+garden

This would be quite an eye opener for a lot of guys


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

Anon Pink said:


> A lot of my fantasies are things I wouldn't want to happen in real life so I guess that makes them inappropriate.


Same here!


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## musicftw07 (Jun 23, 2016)

I recently had sexual fantasies that were inadvertently inappropriate. 

My daughter is in gymnastics, and her prior coach was a fit, beautiful young woman. DD really liked her. I thought she was about 21 or 22, and would occasionally allow my mind to wander to vivid imagery.

Turned out she was 17.

I scrubbed myself in the shower for a very, very long time. And not in the "pun intended" kind of way. It was the "Ace Ventura discovering Einhorn is a man" kind of way.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> I wouldn't feed or dwell on any fantasy that was illegal or immoral. After all we can control where our minds go.
> The sort of fantasies that to me would be unacceptable are anything that involves violence or force(rape, incest), sex with an underage person, bestiality, fantasizing about someone you are not married to, pretending your spouse is someone else when you have sex with them etc etc.





Elizabeth001 said:


> Of course you wouldn't, dear. Because we all know you are a princess who ****s gold and it smells like roses, oh perfect one.
> 
> All hail Diana! Princess of perfection!
> 
> ...




Diana's stance on inappropriate sexual fantasies may seem unrealistic or even dishonest. It's also possible that this is an exact reflection of her sexuality: her fantasies may consist of herself and her husband being Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. On the other extreme, if she's fantasized about sex with an animal----maybe she feels a lot of shame about that [understandably], and doesn't want to share it with anyone.

But either way, she shared what she shared; and I don't think you should be ****ty to her about it. Please roll your eyes privately.

I felt the need to stick up for someone that I think is being picked on for who they are; not what they are saying.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> peacem said:
> 
> 
> > https://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-Love-N...8&qid=1495230542&sr=8-3&keywords=nancy+friday
> ...


The women's fantasy book was much better than the male one, IMO. Both of them were fascinating though.

Those books were written pre internet. These days you can read incredible fantasy stories all day long if you want. When those books were written, the author had to do it by questionnaire and interviews. But she got a great slice of a view of fantasies in general and the books are a great compilation.

The books include both real stories and fantasies about incest, beastiality, rape, and other interesting topics.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

mary35 said:


> Same here!


Really?

You fantasize about aliens with tentacles too?


>


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> I wouldn't feed or dwell on any fantasy that was illegal or immoral. After all we can control where our minds go.
> The sort of fantasies that to me would be unacceptable are anything that involves violence or force(rape, incest), sex with an underage person, bestiality, fantasizing about someone you are not married to, pretending your spouse is someone else when you have sex with them etc etc.


LOL!!! Seriously this is your list of unacceptable and you have the hutzpuh to claim to have such a banging sex life? Honey if this stuff is unacceptable to even think about there is no way your sex life is anything but a snooze fest.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

lol I'm thinking TAM could could start an ice cream factory with all this vanilla. I'm also thinking my reading list would make several on this thread faint. 


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

After reading this thread, I am certain that I must be a demon. Lol

I fantasize about all kinds of crazy stuff when I am bored. Most of it inappropriate for real life.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Aah, the the Japanese.

Of course in ancient Greek myth Zeus seduced women by appearing as golden rain, or as a swan. um....

I think kinky fantasies are nothing new....





Anon Pink said:


> Really?
> 
> You fantasize about aliens with tentacles too?
> 
> ...


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Fantasies are not reality. What is inappropriate would have to be defined to know if the fantasy was inappropriate. I do not judge my fantasies, just my reality.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I have a vivid imagination. Being the narrator is what allows the fantasy to be arousing. I've shared some with my husband... I don't feel he needs to know everything that goes on in the canals of my mind. There's certainly a running theme though.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

And not meaning sneakers and marathons.


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## Mizzbak (Sep 10, 2016)

I very much enjoy having sexual fantasies about things that are impossible (tentacles) or illegal(non-consensual) or immoral or even (horrors!) unhygienic. It fascinates me how many other people are clearly aroused by similar fantasies (NOT actions) to mine. Thank you, internet. Acknowledging that certain of those things turn me on has given me a far greater understanding of my sexual nature and improved my sex life immeasurably. (Which was far more fun than that sentence sounds.) And I agree that imposing moral judgements on the doodlings of my inner world would be ridiculous. 

The majority of my sexual fantasies tend to star imaginary characters. Or at least people that I could never meet. And usually happen in the third person. (Which is weird considering that I am not really moved by porn much. Except in a technically curious way.) I'd like to say that this happened because I decided that for me there could be dangers in consciously and repeatedly taking sexual pleasure from something that I could actually carry out. But it was probably just the path of least resistance around residual guilt from my conservative upbringing. 

(What I am curious about is when I wake up aroused and remembering fragments of the dream that I was having. Where the subject matter is sometimes downright peculiar. It's as though my subconscious wanders around inside my head and randomly picks up stuff and knits it together, cackling wildly. At least I hope that is what it is doing. The thought that there might be another layer of weirdness in me that I haven't found yet is a bit unsettling.)


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Uhtred, I completely understand your question as well as your explanations. An inappropriate fantasy is one is one you would not want anyone else to know. Seems pretty simple. I do. I have tem all the time. I think it is a normal part of being sexually healthy. I am also of the mind that it is a normal part of being healthy period. Even if you are in a relationship, you are still you. I may be wrong, but I don't see how one can give up themselves entirely in becoming someone else's SO. You still have your own mind and your own thoughts, as do they. You may share your thoughts, and some people share their fantasies. But even then I wonder if they share the whole fantasy. As far as the people go who allow law to limit their fantasies - well I have nothing but pity for anyone who allows others to dictate their thoughts.


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## BradWesley2 (Jul 15, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> LOL!!! Seriously this is your list of unacceptable and you have the hutzpuh to claim to have such a banging sex life? Honey if this stuff is unacceptable to even think about there is no way your sex life is anything but a snooze fest.


Hell AP, I'm willing to bet that she hates chocolate syrup on her vanilla ice cream.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

While I have what most people would consider inappropriate fantasies, I don't see anything wrong with someone who doesn't. Vanilla is fine as long as it makes you and your partner happy. I just hope vanilla people won't put down those of us who enjoy 31 flavors, Sundays, and banana splits. 






BradWesley2 said:


> Hell AP, I'm willing to bet that she hates chocolate syrup on her vanilla ice cream.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

BradWesley2 said:


> Hell AP, I'm willing to bet that she hates chocolate syrup on her vanilla ice cream.


Maybe true.

But it's important to state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with vanilla only. 

What is wrong is insisting that anything other than vanilla is morally wrong. 

What is wrong is insisting that vanilla is 31 flavors of yum.


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## BradWesley2 (Jul 15, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> Maybe true.
> 
> But it's important to state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with vanilla only.
> 
> ...


I never implied that vanilla is bad or wrong. However, if Baskin Robbins sold vanilla only, they would have been out of business mere days after opening.

And you're right, vanilla is not 31 flavors of yum.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Anon Pink said:


> LOL!!! Seriously this is your list of unacceptable and you have the hutzpuh to claim to have such a banging sex life? Honey if this stuff is unacceptable to even think about there is no way your sex life is anything but a snooze fest.


Really? Who's to say that there's anything inconsistent about Diana's statement? 

Think about it logically for a minute--the better one's real life is, the less call there is for fantasy. If Diana's fantasy life is limited, it may well be evidence that her sex life is actually better than everyone else's here. She may well be the most satisfied person on these boards. The greatest source of unhappiness is want. If she is without want, I say hallelujah, more power to her, and we should all be so lucky. 

I certainly don't feel the need to belittle such a person. Where does such a motivation come from, anyway?


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## Mizzbak (Sep 10, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I certainly don't feel the need to belittle such a person. Where does such a motivation come from, anyway?


I am caught on the fence here and it is because what I find intolerable in anyone is a lack of tolerance. I agree Yeti, that we have no call to belittle anyone for saying what they think and feel. Clearly some people do not get pleasure from having inappropriate fantasies, nor desire to do so. That is their experience, and they are entitled to voice that. My experience has been that my inappropriate fantasies bring me a great deal of pleasure and have enriched my life. I have found it liberating to realise that I am not alone in this. And I believe that I am also entitled to voice my experiences without feeling belittled/shamed. 

When I read @Diana7 's words, I read them as being judgemental. So I agreed with several of the posted responses to her post. My interpretation could be entirely unfair. If so, I apologise for that. I would suggest to Diana that in the future, she shares her experiences in a personal fashion and not appear to imply that people who choose to fantasise thus, lack control over "where our minds go".


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

None this year so far. No cute interns. Got a couple interns but definitely not fantasy material. The male industrial design intern is a Justin Bieber lookalike - but he's God with Rhino - and the female math / cog sci major intern is way too serious (wtf).

The rule of the lab is no inappropriate thoughts about interns anyway. Let's see if the moms are any good this year.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I do make myself a strict rule of no fantasizing about interns or employees. Too much risk of letting that turn into biased decisions at work. 



john117 said:


> None this year so far. No cute interns. Got a couple interns but definitely not fantasy material. The male industrial design intern is a Justin Bieber lookalike - but he's God with Rhino - and the female math / cog sci major intern is way too serious (wtf).
> 
> The rule of the lab is no inappropriate thoughts about interns anyway. Let's see if the moms are any good this year.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Maybe true.
> 
> But it's important to state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with vanilla only.
> 
> ...


Crumbs! ;-)


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> Really?
> 
> You fantasize about aliens with tentacles too?
> 
> ...


Talk about close encounters of the third Kind! More than a fantasy, it seems to be more as a great start to a future Sci-fi X-rated blockbuster movie.:wink2:


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

uhtred said:


> I do make myself a strict rule of no fantasizing about interns or employees. Too much risk of letting that turn into biased decisions at work.




I don't know, the way my cleaning lady looks at me it's hard not to let the mind wander. Especially when she calls me sir. 


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Really? Who's to say that there's anything inconsistent about Diana's statement?
> 
> Think about it logically for a minute--the better one's real life is, the less call there is for fantasy. If Diana's fantasy life is limited, it may well be evidence that her sex life is actually better than everyone else's here. She may well be the most satisfied person on these boards. The greatest source of unhappiness is want. If she is without want, I say hallelujah, more power to her, and we should all be so lucky.
> 
> I certainly don't feel the need to belittle such a person. Where does such a motivation come from, anyway?



She has made posts in which she claims to have a great sex life. You've obviously missed them. Not too many define great sex life within such narrow parameters and that is what is inconsistent.

You are quite wrong about the better ones sex life is irl, the less call there is for fantasy. The mind can take us places the body can never go. Should my husband feel inadequate because he doesn't have tentacles? 





Bibi1031 said:


> Talk about close encounters of the third Kind! More than a fantasy, it seems to be more as a great start to a future Sci-fi X-rated blockbuster movie.:wink2:


There is an entire erotica genre that features tentacles. I, personally, am a little grossed out by the thought of such penetrative protuberances but for those who are into it, they are really into it. Look in the NonHuman subsection of that website that offers free erotic literature.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Anon Pink said:


> She has made posts in which she claims to have a great sex life. You've obviously missed them.


Nope--haven't missed them. In fact, my post was made based on her claims. I have no less reason to believer her claim than yours or anybody else's. What works for her works for her, just as what works for you works for you.




Anon Pink said:


> You are quite wrong about the better ones sex life is irl, the less call there is for fantasy.


How can I be wrong about something that is so subjective and varies from person to person or couple to couple? I didn't say that's the only way, just that that way makes logical sense. If rl is awesome, why fantasize? I know that when things are frequent and hot between my wife and me, my mind wanders a whole lot less than when frequency and/or variety is suffering.

But please note, I don't mean to project this on to everyone. It's just how things work for me. Diana took some heat for the idea that she was projecting her vision onto everyone. You are doing the same thing by asserting that your way of fantasizing is universally the most fulfilling. If there's anything people should pick up from TAM forums, it's the wide variety of needs and responses of its members. We are not all alike.


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## AlastairfromSupernatural (May 20, 2017)

Yes. Both sexual and nonsexual.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

If body modification technology gets better, things are going to get really weird. (though maybe quite entertaining for people into the exotic).





Bibi1031 said:


> Talk about close encounters of the third Kind! More than a fantasy, it seems to be more as a great start to a future Sci-fi X-rated blockbuster movie.:wink2:


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

I believe everyone with a high sex drive fantasizes whether it's inappropriate or not depends on the individual.

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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Holdingontoit said:


> I used to have many inappropriate fantasies. Because I fantasized about having sex with my wife. And her enjoying it. Long after it was clear she did not want to have sex with me and did not enjoy it on the rare occasions when we did. Now I have stopped having these inappropriate fantasies. I don't fantasize about sex with my wife. * I fantasize about sex with other women.* Because while I suspect they wouldn't want to have sex with me and wouldn't enjoy it, I don't know that to a moral certainty. With my wife, I do. So I don't.


You need to turn that fantasy into a reality Dawg. In my view it wouldn't be cheating. For a man to cheat on his wife, he has to have a wife to cheat on. You don't have a wife.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Nope--haven't missed them. In fact, my post was made based on her claims. I have no less reason to believer her claim than yours or anybody else's. What works for her works for her, just as what works for you works for you.


[sarcasm on] I am a great cook! When I do a rib roast it is perfect! Perfectly well done with not a hint of pink anywhere. Pink in cooked meat means it's not cooked long enough so I make sure all the beef I cook is well well done! [/sarcasm off]

Anyone who cooks a rib roast well done should be shot!





> How can I be wrong about something that is so subjective and varies from person to person or couple to couple? I didn't say that's the only way, just that that way makes logical sense. If rl is awesome, why fantasize? I know that when things are frequent and hot between my wife and me, my mind wanders a whole lot less than when frequency and/or variety is suffering.


How do you think that variety happens? Creativity and imagination?

You are wrong because you stated that it would be a logical conclusion that having a good sex love would mean there was less call for fantasy. That is a statement generalizing that those who have a rich, varied and imaginative fantasy must therefore have a dull sex life and the truth is that creativity and willingness to experiment go hand in hand with a great sex life. See Dan Savage and the 3 G's



> But please note, I don't mean to project this on to everyone. It's just how things work for me. Diana took some heat for the idea that she was projecting her vision onto everyone. You are doing the same thing by asserting that your way of fantasizing is universally the most fulfilling. If there's anything people should pick up from TAM forums, it's the wide variety of needs and responses of its members. We are not all alike.


Please quote where I said that anyone who doesn't have fantasies with tentacled aliens must have a crappy sex life? She took some richly deserved heat because of her judginess and her propensity to moralize. If she wants to moralize, she should stick to the religion forums.


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## Don't Panic (Apr 2, 2017)

peterrabbit said:


> I believe everyone with a high sex drive fantasizes whether it's inappropriate or not depends on the individual.
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 10 using Tapatalk


Frequent fantasizer here, and while I'd construct a tinfoil helmet if colleagues were able to see my dark side, I don't consider my thoughts "inappropriate". I quite enjoy them actually > therefore I answered NO on this poll.

That being said incest and violence are definitely not my thing. I WERE into those things I probably would have answered YES. 

Hmmm alien tentacles....? Intriguing.  I'd put that in the "appropriate but unlikely" category. And like Anon Pink, I probably wouldn't want that to occur IRL! 
We happened to have the movie "Prometheus" going in the background last night...I guess I can see the appeal of those alien tentacles lol. BUT I could also see the appeal of the INCREDIBLY attractive cast.....oh my...where's the fire emoji?


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> [sarcasm on] I am a great cook! When I do a rib roast it is perfect! Perfectly well done with not a hint of pink anywhere. Pink in cooked meat means it's not cooked long enough so I make sure all the beef I cook is well well done! [/sarcasm off]
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Amen! 
:-D


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Anon Pink said:


> She took some richly deserved heat because of her judginess and her propensity to moralize. If she wants to moralize, she should stick to the religion forums.


And right here you have what it all boils down to. The whole debate over the importance of fantasy relative to rl is nothing more than a side show. 

The fact remains that we're all different. It makes perfect sense to me that I don't fantasize as much when rl is hot. Fantasy, by its very nature seeks to find something that is lacking in rl. I get your point that some things are simply not possible in real life, or at least not wise, so fantasy can be a healthy way to approach and sample those things. Trust me, I get it. But for me, if I'm truly satisfied, I have less propensity to seek such things. You are obviously different, reaching for more even when satisfied. Which was my whole point. What's logical for you isn't logical for everyone. While you and Diana may be at opposite ends of the religious spectrum, you have a lot more in common than you're willing to admit, both projecting that your thought process is the only one that makes sense. 

My statement was perfectly logical. But that doesn't mean I meant to apply it universally. If there's anything we should pick up from these discussions, it's that relationships, romance, sex, etc. are all hardly logical. They are emotional, whimsical, hormonal, etc. If everyone did what was logical, these threads would cease to exist, or at least be very boring.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> And right here you have what it all boils down to. The whole debate over the importance of fantasy relative to rl is nothing more than a side show.
> 
> The fact remains that we're all different. It makes perfect sense to me that I don't fantasize as much when rl is hot. Fantasy, by its very nature seeks to find something that is lacking in rl. I get your point that some things are simply not possible in real life, or at least not wise, so fantasy can be a healthy way to approach and sample those things. Trust me, I get it. But for me, if I'm truly satisfied, I have less propensity to seek such things. You are obviously different, reaching for more even when satisfied. Which was my whole point. What's logical for you isn't logical for everyone. While you and Diana may be at opposite ends of the religious spectrum, you have a lot more in common than you're willing to admit, both projecting that your thought process is the only one that makes sense.


I'm frustrated because I can't seem to make myself understood wrt to fantasy so I will try one last time. 

It's perfectly fine that your fantasies play a larger role when you sex life is lacking. Your sexual energy gets used up when your having an active sex life so your sexual fantasies are far from your mind. There is nothing wrong with that, but not everyone experiences their fantasies in relation to real life.

Sexual fantasies do not seek to find something lacking in our sex life. Nor are they wishes for things we can't have, although sometimes a fantasy is a wish for something we can't have. I can't be 25 again! Sexual fantasies are simply another avenue to experience our sexuality. They are creative and our imaginations build them with instantaneous physical feedback by arousal when we think of things that turn us on. A fantasy is simply a more developed sexual thought. Whether one has a kicking sex life or not, a creative imaginative person who enjoys their sexuality will continue to have sexual fantasies.




> My statement was perfectly logical. But that doesn't mean I meant to apply it universally. If there's anything we should pick up from these discussions, it's that relationships, romance, sex, etc. are all hardly logical. They are emotional, whimsical, hormonal, etc. If everyone did what was logical, these threads would cease to exist, or at least be very boring.


Exactly, sex isn't logical. 

Actually, no Dianna and I have very little in common.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

This thread yet again shows that sex and sexual thought are very different to different people. 

That's fine, but I think it underlies a lot of communication issues.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Anon Pink said:


> I'm frustrated because I can't seem to make myself understood wrt to fantasy so I will try one last time.


If it's any consolation, it seems understanding is coming, albeit after some frustration. It seemed at the start that you were very pointedly linking active fantasy to a well rounded sex life, regardless of who is living that life. If that was a misinterpretation on my part, I apologize. 



Anon Pink said:


> Sexual fantasies are simply another avenue to experience our sexuality. They are creative and our imaginations build them with instantaneous physical feedback by arousal when we think of things that turn us on. A fantasy is simply a more developed sexual thought. Whether one has a kicking sex life or not, a creative imaginative person who enjoys their sexuality will continue to have sexual fantasies.


Very well explained! Thank you for coming around to this clarification. I believe I understand, and agree, but only up to the last sentence, which seems like another projection. All who know me call me creative and imaginative, and I most definitely enjoy my sexuality. At times I have had fantasies that would stack up to anybody's in the creative and imaginative departments. But that is not always the case. There are long periods when fantasy is largely absent from my sex life, but that doesn't mean I stopped having a fertile imagination, or that I was at all lacking in my appreciation of my sexuality.

Thanks again for putting up with me and taking the time to clarify.

Oh, and I really like tentacles -- so long as they are part of ojingo bokum (Korean hot and spicy stir fried squid). Fortunately, unlike sexual fantasies, I can get that any time I want.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> There are long periods when fantasy is largely absent from my sex life, but that doesn't mean I stopped having a fertile imagination, or that I was at all lacking in my appreciation of my sexuality.


You know, this really resonated with me. Once I started heavy BDSM, I was totally in the moment. I didn't need a fantasy when I was being flogged, whipped, etc, or doing those things. I totally get that. Those activities kept/keep me completely present.

With that said, when I'm only engaging in regular rough sex, the fantasy stuff does kick in.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Nope I don't consider my sexual fantasies inappropriate just fun 

The real question is do others consider them inappropriate...probably so but doesn't matter to me. My sexuality belongs to me alone


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

Wolf1974 said:


> Nope I don't consider my sexual fantasies inappropriate just fun
> 
> The real question is do others consider them inappropriate...probably so but doesn't matter to me. My sexuality belongs to me alone


I didn't answer the poll, because I think the same way.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

The way I see it, fantasies are just a way for us to explore our emotional reactions. To know how we emotionally respond to a set scenario. If your willing to let your mind wander in a fantasy, you will then begin to understand how you emotionally respond in that scenario. Me personally though, I also want to know what the appeal is for those who fantasize about things that make my stomach turn.

I fantasize about all manner of things. BDSM, infidelity, beastiality, incest, murder, rape, and some darker things that I will not mention here. I have no desire to do any of them except for BDSM(it really turns my wife on and i love that...). I just mill them over in my mind, and I pay attention to how I feel; I pay attention to how I emotionally respond to them. 

As it turns out, I can get turned on by a lot of things that society would crucify me for. So I take that information and assume that I am pretty ****ed up in the head. But if I am that ****ed up in the head, then their must be a lot of people that are just as ****ed up. So how else can I interpret it than to conclude that there are a hell of a lot of people that are just ****ed up in the head? Maybe most of us are ****ed up. Maybe most of us are ****ed up. How the hell could I judge someone if I am just as ****ed up as they are? 

**** that nonsense... they are people, no different than i. If the thought of them being slammed to the floor and violated by alien tenticles or the family pet turns them on, amd that makes them ****ed up in the head, then I guess they are just as ****ed up as i am, considering the bull**** that runs between my own ears. 

And if I am going to love myself, then how could I not love them? 

If you cannot accept that your nature is ****ed beyond belief, how will you ever be able to accept someone who is just as ****ed up as you?


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

VladDracul said:


> You need to turn that fantasy into a reality Dawg. In my view it wouldn't be cheating. For a man to cheat on his wife, he has to have a wife to cheat on. You don't have a wife.


Thanks but no thanks. In my fantasy the sex is good. In real life it never has been. With anyone else. I do not need to spoil my fantasy by allowing cruel reality to intrude. I don't need more experience with failure and inadequacy.


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## on_the_verge (May 10, 2017)

I think anything goes in the fantasy realm. Because that is what, precisely, it is - fantasy. If one happens to have fantasies that would be deemed deeply inappropriate in reality then I would say the line would only be crossed if the person's reality was in any way affected (tried to act out the fantasy, became obsessive etc) 

I think a big part of the enjoyment derived from fantasies is that they are so often illicit.


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## bullyisback (May 23, 2017)

U come across a porno that's hot. They are ur wife or gf or family member. I have no desire to have a sexual relationship with anyone in my family or elsewhere only my wife... But doesn't mean I don't see a video that makes u excited to hear or want to see others nude. Just don't act on them and ur fine. 

Sent from my LGLS676 using Tapatalk


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## LeoSan816 (Dec 16, 2017)

Yes they do


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