# Three days of hell. Dday anniversary starts tomorrow..



## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

The 27th of last year was the day I saw a text from OM to my W. It was about french kissing. She denied anything was going on, and even stated she was angry he sent that to her. I smelled a rat.

The 28th I started getting into her email etc, and was stunned by all of the I love yous, I miss yous, and the rest. I also saw them discussing how I was on to it, and what steps they should take to hide the A better. I confronted. She finally admitted to it, but denied that there were any pictures or sexual talk.

The 29th I uncovered the pictures, the sex talk even photos they shared of our kids and his kids. I saw a picture of my kids and a close up of her pu$$y in the same email. We had agreed to never put the kids pictures online, so this was a secondary betrayal. I also found a sexual conversation with a guy that was supposed to have been my friend. He made a pass that she blew off. Also a third guy she was telling all her cheating stories to. She told him all about her online A and I read everything she told him. I confronted again. She finally came clean. She admittied to some of the things I didn't show her and even to the OM offering her a plane ticket to come see him, which I didn't know for sure, but suspected. I finally found out why she was talking about how she'd like to go to Utah, because her "friend" told her how nice it was there. 

So many questions answered in three days, and so much of our old life the old me, and the trust I had in her dompletely destroyed. 

We actually had a happy M. She threw it aside for nothing. Nothing will ever be the same. What a complete waste. The year has gone well. The R is going well. Things are becoming the new normal. My W will never fully undersatnd what she threw away, because I will never be able to look at her like I used to. 

I don't have a question. I just needed to let it out.


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

Thank you.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

DavidWYoung said:


> Thank you.


You're welcome. What did I do?


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

I understand Ovid. My DD 2cnd anniversary is coming soon. During the first one, I was teetering on giving up R, had a bunch of second thoughts; but as it came and went, things returned to "normal" and have in fact improved over the first year. Might as well anticipate more of the same again on the next one, but hopefully not as bad. 

Those DD anniversary triggers are a beach aren't they?


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

badmemory said:


> I understand Ovid. My DD 2cnd anniversary is coming soon. During the first one, I was teetering on giving up R, had a bunch of second thoughts; but as it came and went, things returned to "normal" and have in fact improved over the first year. Might as well anticipate more of the same again on the next one, but hopefully not as bad.
> 
> Those DD anniversary triggers are a beach aren't they.


I've been angry/numb all day. 

I turned a room in our house into a gym. I suspect I'll spend most of the weekend in there. I may feel like crap but I'll look like a million bucks on Monday.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Ovid said:


> I've been angry/numb all day.
> 
> I turned a room in our house into a gym. I suspect I'll spend most of the weekend in there. I may feel like crap but I'll look like a million bucks on Monday.


Funny, I just did the same thing at my house. Guess what? WW had no problem with it like she did before the A. Go figure.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey Big O----how much of it sticks with you----when you are alone---do these things she said and did--(pictures)--do they haunt you????----do you wonder who she talks to, and via what type of instrument????--Do you play parole officer from time to time??????

You say your mge is decent now---but how many times have you triggered in the last year---just a general guess, and what has caused these triggers-------do you in all honesty, think that you can ever look at this woman, as the woman you loved and married even up to the time of the betrayal----will she ever be able to become the trustworthy, love of your life again----is it possible for you, or is there always gonna be a nagging fear/doubt/suspicion?????


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

jnj express said:


> Hey Big O----how much of it sticks with you----when you are alone---do these things she said and did--(pictures)--do they haunt you????----do you wonder who she talks to, and via what type of instrument????--Do you play parole officer from time to time??????
> 
> *A lot bothered me in the beginning. A lot of things triggered me in the beginning too, but it's all jumbled up into one big thing I hate. Something that never should have happened, and that there was no reason to happen. I did play parole officer in the beginning. Not now. Now I just say F it. If she gives me a real reason to doubt I'm done. I don't have it in me to try again. It's this or nothing. Somehow having that in mind makes it doable.*
> 
> ...


She has been proving herself to be trustworthy again. We have a clear understanding though. If she gives me enough reason to suspect I won't look. I'll just file, and I won't be coming back.


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## carolinadreams (Nov 30, 2012)

We are coming up on a year ourselves in October.
She's doing well, after a rough initial start.

It all seems so pointless sometimes though what was traded for a bit of flattery, flirting, and a pathetic physical encounter.

Good on the weights, my squat is getting closer to 300 and my deadlift will hit 400 before the end of July, so I'm well on my way to monstering myself up some


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## PamJ (Mar 22, 2013)

The new normal, yes, that's what it has to be now. Never the same innocence in thinking I was always his everything. It will never be the same.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Ovid said:


> Nothing will ever be the same. What a complete waste. The year has gone well. The R is going well. Things are becoming the new normal. My W will never fully undersatnd what she threw away, because I will never be able to look at her like I used to.


I assume you told her this when you first found out. How often do you bring up these feelings to her now? 

Does she know you're still carrying this around, or do you remain silent about it because you figure bringing it up won't help the situation any? 

Does she ever bring up the affair, or is she happy that you seem to be over it, not checking up on her anymore, and that all is now good again with the marriage?


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> I assume you told her this when you first found out. How often do you bring up these feelings to her now?
> 
> Does she know you're still carrying this around, or do you remain silent about it because you figure bringing it up won't help the situation any?
> 
> Does she ever bring up the affair, or is she happy that you seem to be over it, not checking up on her anymore, and that all is now good again with the marriage?


We discuss it whenever it comes up. It doesn't come up as often as it used to but there are still be moments. When i bring it up is usually a question, or something she said that reminded me of it.

She has brought it up a few times. She avoids bringing it up, but has. Usually when she does its to say sorry for what she did.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

What the "F" does I'm sorry mean----do those words do anything whatsoever, at all---do they take away the pain, the hurt, the disrespect, the destruction to the kids lives----------------do they help you thru ANYTHING----He*l no---so what good are they

Is it something that the cheater uses to assuage themselves--

------ in this instance just 2 more words out of a liar's mouth


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

People celebrate the deceitful anniversary? Do the celebrate getting a root canal as well?


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

hookares said:


> People celebrate the deceitful anniversary? Do the celebrate getting a root canal as well?


Not a celebration. This was a vent post.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

A root canal, has a he*l of a lot LESS HURT attached to it


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Alot of people deal with rough days when its near DDay but for some reason I dont really remember the "day" per say just the whole damn dreadful event and its lumped into a big ole year long of F me!


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Ovid said:


> The 27th of last year was the day I saw a text from OM to my W. It was about french kissing. She denied anything was going on, and even stated she was angry he sent that to her. I smelled a rat.
> 
> The 28th I started getting into her email etc, and was stunned by all of the I love yous, I miss yous, and the rest. I also saw them discussing how I was on to it, and what steps they should take to hide the A better. I confronted. She finally admitted to it, but denied that there were any pictures or sexual talk.
> 
> ...


Glad to hear your R is going well... fight to stay positive.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> Alot of people deal with rough days when its near DDay but for some reason I dont really remember the "day" per say just the whole damn dreadful event and its lumped into a big ole year long of F me!


Her A was short and the Dday time frame was all concentrated into a few days ... I see why your is not the same


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

My family is sleeping, and I'm up looking at this. Thank you honey, for the gift that keeps giving.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

_So many questions answered in three days, and so much of our old life the old me, and the trust I had in her dompletely destroyed. 

We actually had a happy M. She threw it aside for nothing. Nothing will ever be the same. What a complete waste. The year has gone well. The R is going well. Things are becoming the new normal. My W will never fully undersatnd what she threw away, because I will never be able to look at her like I used to. 

I don't have a question. I just needed to let it out._

I have a few questions, Ovid.

1. Does she understand what she lost in the relationship? I am sure she knows the consequence.
2. Could you understand what lead her to her online A?
3. Do your kids know of this?


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

1. I don't think she fully gets it. 
2. I understand what lead her to it. There's never an excuse, but she really didn't have one. She threw her excuses at me on d day and it was obvious even she knew her excuses were weak.
3. No.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

The first Antiversary is difficult for many, many people.


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