# rough start to the day



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I woke up this morning thinking everything I was going through with the divorce was a dream, but then I realized it wasn't....made me sad. I just have to keep telling myself, "I will make it."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Broke down on the way to work today in the car crying really hard. Realized that my wife is gone, the person she is doesn't care for me. I really wish that my old wife was there to support me, but I have my friends and family for that now. This is the toughest thing I've had to deal with ever.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

So sorry you are in pain 

I know there's nothing I can say that can make you feel better, but just know that you're not alone...your pain is very real and needs to be dealt with. Go through the stages of grief and you'll heal.

If it makes you feel any better, I spilled a whole pot of coffee down my dress this morning before work (ouch!) and now i am getting sick from the coffee fumes. lol.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Well thank god for small miracles at least, I checked the cell phone text message records, was trying to figure out if the stbxw started her EA "just friends" months before, or how long. She did only start to text/call him one day before she gave me the ILYBNILWY speech. I think that this makes me feel a little better, at least she wasn't cheating for months and months before. Not that it's any better, but at least I know that she is very confused, and is reaching for any type of (albeit messed up) false security right now from someone else.


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Since she runs a daycare - I would assume that her "just friend" would be one of the fathers of the kids she watches. Where else would she "befriend" this guy?

For that reason - I wouldn't put a lot of stock with what the phone records say. There was something there way before the day you got the ILYBINILWY speech.


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## hawaiigirl36 (Jan 11, 2012)

HUGS* Stay strong.


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## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

It is a true loss; the loss of someone you loved and thought you knew. Now they are a complete stranger and it is so confusing. Allow yourself the time you need to be sad and don't deny those feelings because somewhere down the road, they will come up again. Are you seeing a therapist to help yourself with your feelings? I hope you know you are absolutely not alone and that there are many people on TAM who understand how you feel. I am one of them~I have these days too, but I try to remember that they will get fewer and far between and there are good days ahead. Hang in there!


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

No, she was actually introduced to this ********* by a mutual friend of theirs, who knew that my stbxw was going through a divorce. Nice friend. This other guy has been divorced for 4 years, you would've thought that he would've known to stay away. He is also 5 years older than her, and he has kids around my kids ages. It's probably the attraction of a much younger woman for him. Thankfully he lives in a city that is 45 minutes away, so it's harder for her to see him (maybe that is the allure). I know that it is better to not have a fake person in my life (mentally at least) but getting my heart there is another matter. As for a therapist, I'm going to a weekly divorce care group meeting, been talking to one of the guys from there on a daily basis. Plus TAM, this has really helped. At first I was just reading the posts, but now I have been getting into putting my posts out there. It feels like I have more friends around me through TAM that can at least try to give me words of encouragement. 

I wonder though, does the wayward spouse ever come out of the FOG? Do they ever realize how much they hurt the ones they love?


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## hawaiigirl36 (Jan 11, 2012)

they have to come to that realization on their own. ther'es nothing you can do to push them into that, no matter how much we want to. i agree with 5creed, if you aren't you need to see someone to talk about your feelings. i know that you care, and that's why you're extremely hurt by this. stay strong, keep that chin up and think about ways to make your life better


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Oh. Your W has a toxic friend! I get it.

Those are almost as bad as EAs, as they encourage them, they encourage walk away wife syndrome, etc.


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