# wife divorcing me and i want her back



## The_Brand01 (Jun 17, 2017)

Where to start well me and my wife have been together for 8 years and married for 7 we have two beautiful kids together they are 7 and 6 now and she has just divorced me saying that I had not been providing for our family and she couldn't let me take our family down with me. 

This started out rocky and about the 3rd year of our marriage I played around and got caught in what she called emotional cheating, well we separated for a year and I proved myself that I wanted her back and she took me back after a whole year of us being separated. Well then some years passed and I though we were ok and this whole time I though we were fine she tells me she had been hoping I would mess up again so she could kick me out and I have been nothing but faithful to her since we got back together. 

Well about 2 years ago I get what I call almost my dream job in law enforcement and she says she is super proud of me yet a week before she kicked me out and decided to divorce me she tells me this whole time she hated my job. The thing is during this whole passed year I felt like something was up as she would go to family gatherings with her family and not tell me so I would get home from work and get ready to meet her there and she would already be on her way home from the meetings, I know it sounds like she has been cheating on me but no I had checked and anytime she has been out she has only been with her mom or with the kids and at church I had others check for me. 

I thought the same well 2 weeks back I get home and she tells me she is done with me and after a whole year of fighting to keep our family together I finally gave up and was sad and still feel a bit depressed about it but I finally gave up, then she all of the sudden has a friend who works at a law firm who can draw up the divorce papers for us fast and free and she wants me to sign them the truth is i dont want to divorce her and I want my family back I want her back 

I love her and cant stop thinking about her and its effecting me to the point where i cant sleep or eat right but every time i tell her this she only says that i need to move on and move forward with my life and she gives me the cold shoulder and threatens to block my number so i can no longer talk to her 

I dont know what im looking for here someone to talk about this or advice on what to do I dont know anymore Im lost without her and cant even think straight please someone offer some advice she is killing me I am so lost that I dont even know who i am anymore and i just want to curl into a ball and not move or breathe im numb and keep thinking of some harmful thoughts just to take her take me back


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

> she has just divorced me saying that I had not been providing for our family and she couldn't let me take our family down with me.


Does this mean that you have not had a job for most of your marriage? Could you please clarify?



> I dont even know who i am anymore and i just want to curl into a ball and not move or breathe im numb and keep thinking of some harmful thoughts just to take her take me back


Could you explain what harmful thoughts you are having?

The best thing you could do right now is to focus on yourself and your children. You need to get stronger emotionally in order to help yourself here. Your children depend on you, so you need to do this for them too. 

Have you seen the divorce papers? Do not sign them until you have really looked them over. Maybe hire a lawyer to just review them and make sure that she's not trying to pull one over on you.

I don't know if you can get her back. But I do know that if there is a chance at all to get her back, it will only happen if you get stronger emotionally, if you take care of your self and you become the best person you can be.

{Also, as a side note. I added paragraphs to your post because it was just a wall of text and hard to read. Please use punctuation next time too. It's hard to read a long post that is one, long, run-on sentence.}


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

First of all she can't kick you out of your home. If she wants a divorce tell her to leave. Go online and check your phone bill for and suspicious data.

Do you always kowtow to what she tells you to do?

You sound pretty weak. Why?

You don't do or sign anything without consulting an attorney.

You should have had one lined up yesterday


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Have you checked her phone records?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

You seriously need to just let her go and move on. Being sad and pathetic will only reinforce to her that she did the right thing. Your marriage has not been right for a very long time, you dont sound like you two are good together. Get into therapy to work on yourself... why did you cheat, why are you so weak and codependent, how to be a better partner in future relationships. 

Sounds to me like she had your replacement lined up already. (not that it matters at this point, just an observation)


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## Hexagon (Jun 20, 2017)

I am going through a lot right now and I really, REALLY want my lying, cheating wife back.
For me, for my daughter, having her back in the home would feel great.

But.....

I am learning...slowly i might add, the difference between "want" and "need" are sometimes not the same thing. 
I do not need a lying/ cheating wife. I do not need to wonder what is going on all the time when i'm not around.
I don't need a woman to hold me and tell me that I'm a perfect husband then cheat on me some time during the same day.
There is a finite number of tears in a day.


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## Stang197 (Aug 31, 2015)

Hexagon said:


> I am going through a lot right now and I really, REALLY want my lying, cheating wife back.
> For me, for my daughter, having her back in the home would feel great.
> 
> But.....
> ...



Sounds like you want your daughter back and not your wife. Can't blame you there.


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