# My ex doesn't deserve our daughter



## Ree (Jun 17, 2012)

*I divorced my ex over 20 yr.s ago because he was a no good,women beating drunk..Together we had 4 kids 2 boys and 2 girls..My kids are now grown 30,29,27 and 24..I left him when the youngest was 2yr.s old and he wasn't in any of their lives until each one of them reached the age of 18..All of them found out for themselves just how much of a piece of crap he was and all of them but my oldest daughter (29yr.s) have very minimul contact with him..My oldest daughter however has always been the only one to step in and help his sorry a** when he needed it so that he can simply turn around and treat her like crap again..She's resolved herself to the fact that he's never going to be the father she wants him to be and since she considers her step-father to be her REAL dad she generally handles his disappointments pretty well..My daughter is happily married with 2 kids 9 and 6 and I have a son-in-law most mothers can only dream of for their daughters..he is currently in remission of a treatable but not curable form of cancer and works his butt of to support my daughter and grandkids..His bouts with cancer have been very stressing times for us but especially my daughter and grandkids but through it all other then me watching the kids when he's in the hospital they never ask anyone for anything..Keep in mind that me ex didn't do crap to help out our daughter during these times it was all my husband and I..In fact my grandkids call my ex by his first name and call my husband grandpa so that shows you how much of a rold he DOESN'T play in their lives..Anyway,my poor daughter calls her so-called dad to see if she can borrow a few bucks for gas and of course he tells her he doesn't have and she says "thanks anyway and I love you"..Mind you he owes my kids over $40k in child support..Well this sorry excuse for a man takes to his FB page and makes a comment about my daughter only calling him when she needs something and it's quite the opposite..He's usually doing the calling..Well my daughter unfortunetly has a short fuze and got on to FB and told him what she thought of him and how he's never been a dad to her and how she thanks God she has a dad like her step-father..She then of course calls me in tears because he not only posted such a blatant lie but how even though she knew he had money and was lying to her she still thanked him and said she loved him..Apparently she also told him how her and her siblings all know his only reason for even bothering with them is because he thinks it pisses me off and that kept the arguement going until I convinced her that he wasn't worth arguing with and he didn't deserve the energy she had to exert being upset with him and to just block him which she did..I of course then get a text from him telling me I need to deal with MY daughter..I'm sorry I know I'm ranting but sometimes I feel so guilty that I chose this SOB to have kids with because all he ever does is hurt and disappoint them..I try not to get involved in their relationship after all she's a grown woman and a wife and mother herself so all I can do is just keep repeating the same advice and let her cry on my shoulder..She tries so hard to keep the peace with him and not hold the past against him and all he does on a consistent basis is hurt her as if she hasn't had enough pain in her life..UGH!!!..I'm sorry this turned out to be so long I just needed to get it out..Thanks for listening!*


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

My ex is emotionally abusive, was sometimes physically - a result of Narcissitic Personality Disorder (diagnosed by court ordered pysch eval at my insistance) - but what I've learned is this: kids love their parents. I heard stories of children whose daddies put out cigarettes on their bodies but they still wanted love and approval. You cannot solve your daughter's issues and you had problems of your own to be involved - I know the guilt of giving my daughter such a father. BUT - all you can do is be her rock. Really. And if you have a United Family Services, they can provide counseling on a sliding scale. When I was unemployed it was only $7 for an hour. When things were better it was $50. But my counselor was my lifeline. To this day I give to UFS just so I can give back.

Sorry - that's all I have. It hurts everyone involved but there's no going back so make peace with the past and help her move forward.


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

Enjoli: very well said.
You cannot change someone who doesn't think they are wrong. All you can do is realize that God has ways of paying people back. He may be lonely the rest of his life and not have what you do emotionally with your husband. He will come to realize at some point he was wrong and have to live with the fact he hurt so many people. It's unfortunate that your daughter has a father like that but it sounds like she has a strong support system otherwise. I wish you and your family the best of luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ree (Jun 17, 2012)

*That's pretty much the way I deal with it..I know I can't honestly be objected where he's concerned so I liet her cry om my shoulder and just tell her I hope one day he's missing out on because of they way he treats her!*


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