# I have to let him go...feeling broken and need some support please...



## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

well here i am...im finding it hard to believe that im posting in this section but i have to face reality and accept that for the past 4 weeks we have been doing False Reconciliation.

just found out last week that the EA has re-developed between my H and the OW.

if you are interested in my story i posted it here:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera.../42948-could-end-sigh-so-close-giving-up.html

He finally admitted yesterday that what he had with the OW was an EA...prior to that he didn't even think he was having an affair as nothing physical ever happened between them. I told him to google what "emotional affair" means and after doing some reading online he admitted that was what he has with her.

I told my H to get the hell out of my house if he waqnts to explore the spark and connection with the OW. And he just told me yesterday that he will be moving in with the other woman in the next few days.

he also told me that he doesnt think we can ever be compatible and he can only be friends with me....it hurts so damn much....

im expecting a roller coaster ride of emotions as it is currently going up and down....i woke up alone in my bed this morning and reality hits me right after i opened my eyes and my heart felt like it was being squizzed hard and it hurts like hell!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Yes let him go, it will be your perception of confidence and an ego that will make him think twice.

Letting go and setting up your own boundries will serve you well. It will be up to him to come along.

Don't walk behind me, don't walk in front of me, but walk next to me!

SHOW HIM A CONFIDENT WOMEN THAT CAN SMILE AND WISH HIM THE BEST.

Sorry for shouting but I want to get my point a cross. Your perception of confindence no matter how fake it is will make him second guess his choices. Fake it until you make it girl!!!


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

Thank you the_guy i needed to hear that today...

throughout the last 4 weeks since he moved back home for "attempt for reconcilliation" he refused to give me affections and intimacy and now i know why....i would rather be alone in my house than having him in the house and making me feel like i wasn't good enough (inadequate) and left me wondering why he cannot love me....my self esteem took a dive the whole time he was at home (only 4 weeks) so i know this is for the best but it doesn't make it any less painful....

This place has become my sanctuary and a lifeline in times like this...im truly grateful to have found a place where i can share and vent and get valuable advice from people who has gone thru similar situation.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

You may want to read *http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24796-just-let-them-go.html#post306559*.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Be prepared for him to bounce back to you after he starts living with OW. The reality will hit him, remorse will hit him, he'll be very confused and confusing.


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

Thank you for the link morituri, i have read it and everything in there is true...very good advice.

norajane....i told him that im not prepared to keep getting dragged down by his indecisions and his confusion. I dont think he will be bouncing back to me as i clearly told him that im not gonna let him hurt me over and over again... i told him im DONE and have let it go to God.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

DownUnder said:


> Thank you for the link morituri, i will have a read soon...
> 
> norajane....i told him that im not prepared to keep getting dragged down by his indecisions and his confusion. I dont think he will be bouncing back to me as i clearly told him that im not gonna let him hurt me over and over again... i told him im DONE and have let it go to God.


you may have told him, but he may test you about that.
stay on your toes.

you did the right thing telling him to leave.

you will be up and down and have many different feelings, but im sure you know that.

be strong and use your support, your family if you can as well as the people here to get through this and stay yourself strong.


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

thank you 2nd t!me, unfortunately I dont have any family here...all my family is overseas so im on my own. My friends have warned me against reconciliation with him before he moved back in 4 weeks ago and i have gone against their advice, so i can't find support with them because they will just say "i told you so" and i feel so much weight on my shoulder....but i know God is with me and He will give me the strength to go thru this.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

DownUnder said:


> thank you 2nd t!me, unfortunately I dont have any family here...all my family is overseas so im on my own. My friends have warned me against reconciliation with him before he moved back in 4 weeks ago and i have gone against their advice, so i can't find support with them because they will just say "i told you so" and i feel so much weight on my shoulder....but i know God is with me and He will give me the strength to go thru this.


do you have children?
can you move back home?


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> do you have children?
> can you move back home?


I have 2 amazing children....a 7 year old girl and 2 year old boy.

We told our lil girl last night that daddy will be moving out again (the second time around) and its hard watching her cry and get really sad.

4 weeks ago when my H moved back home (now i realised it was a false R) she wants to get him a special cake to celebrate her daddy coming back home so we got a small cake with a saying "welcome back home daddy" and now this just crushed her.

He can hurt me over and over again but i have to put a stop of him hurting our babies....this needs to stop and im putting my foot down.

I can't move back home, i have let go of my citizenchip from my country after our daughter was born and i dont want to uproot my children in this difficult time....she need as much as stability she can have and hopefully i can provide that for her as best i could. I truly cannot deprive my children from seeing their dad because they have a good relationship and he has been a good father to them so moving out of the country is out of the question.

Im gonna have to stick this out and be strong for my kids.....


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

DownUnder said:


> I have 2 amazing children....a 7 year old girl and 2 year old boy.
> 
> We told our lil girl last night that daddy will be moving out again (the second time around) and its hard watching her cry and get really sad.
> 
> ...


this is a sad situation.

i was not suggesting you remove the children from their father.
would have been a lot less complicated if children were not involved, but it is what it is now.

that does make it very difficult being by yourself.

do you know your 'friends' would rub this in your face?
if so, they are not very good friends.

is there 1 or 2 friends you can trust to talk with if need be?


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