# Is MIL's husband hiding money?



## moonstone999 (Jul 11, 2012)

Hi all, I have an ethical dilemma. My MIL called me a few days ago upset that her husband (who is not my DH's father) broke his ankle and can't work. She was even more upset about their financial situation, that her husband recently was laid off and they're running out of money. She says all they have is her social security check and they can't pay their bills. She was really panicking.

On the other hand....her husband had a habit of going around to co-workers and boasting that he has so much money he doesn't even have to work, he just does it to not be home with my MIL all day. I know this because my sister's husband worked with the guy.

I have a distinct feeling MIL's husband is hiding money from her. In some ways I don't blame him, MIL's favorite pastime is to shop and drink.

I dont' know if I should says something to MIL, or keep my trap shut and not get involved. I'm leaning towards the latter.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> or keep my trap shut and not get involved


This is the right answer...besides you have zero evidence.

Financial problems in a marriage should be contained to the two people involved...whenever a 3rd party gets involved and lends money or takes sides, the likelihood of problems is high.

Offer a listening ear and your sympathy, but otherwise, stay out of it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

On the one hand I agree that it's their problem and people should keep out of it.

On the other hand, she is family and when someone is being taken advantage of, helping them is the right thing to do. There is a saying that evil thrives when good men do nothing. 

Does your husband, her son, know anything about all this. If so, what does he have to say about it?

How long has your MIL been married to this guy?


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> On the other hand, she is family and when someone is being taken advantage of, helping them is the right thing to do.


She has no actual data to prove her suspicions. Telling her mother-in-law anything would simply be gossiping.

I know a lot of people that brag about having money or brag about their debt-purchased, expensive status symbols (cars, jewelry, etc) that don't have two nickels to rub together...its not that unusual.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EnigmaGirl said:


> She has no actual data to prove her suspicions. Telling her mother-in-law anything would simply be gossiping.
> 
> I know a lot of people that brag about having money or brag about their debt-purchased, expensive status symbols (cars, jewelry, etc) that don't have two nickels to rub together...its not that unusual.


Did I suggest anywhere that she say anything to her MIL at this time? Nope.

Instead of giving any actual advice to act or not to act, I asked for more info.


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