# Is it bad to want more?



## Adam801 (Apr 21, 2013)

When thinking about my last 12 years of marriage, more so the last two, is it bad that I think I can do better? To think I deserve more? When is it just a phase, and when is it something to take action on? Am I just comparing the real version of my wife with the perceived perfect version of other woman?


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

Its pretty dangerous to compare your wife to the perfect version of someone else, considering there is no one that's is perfect. No one can live up to that expectation. Your setting her up to fail.

After 10 years, the marriage starts getting stale, its take more work than the previous 10 years actually. Find out whats wrong, and work on it, together. Do you spend 15 hours a week together, just you and the wife. That's a start.


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## TryingandFrustrated (Nov 7, 2012)

This reminds me of a thread some time ago where someone asked if the grass is always greener on the other side. I think the answer is, The grass is greener wherever it is watered. Do you both think there is a problem you can work on? Does your wife know that you are unhappy, and have you talked about what can be done?


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## Adam801 (Apr 21, 2013)

Thumper said:


> Its pretty dangerous to compare your wife to the perfect version.


My writing style may not come across as such, but I was more or less point this fact out. Much the same way advertising influences us, I can't help but see other women/couples and ask these questions. 

So are 'we' unhappy? She is not. Some times I'm unhappy but I say I general have a sense of being unfulfilled. Only at home with my wife. Not at work or with my friends. 

As for spending 15 hours week together. Yeah we have kids. I'd say we maybe get 5-7 hours a week alone. Most of that is time is spent doing house work. We do try and go out for a few hours one a week.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

Adam the fact you are asking these questions and seeking opinions/resources before becoming a WS is commendable. 

Agree that the grass is greenest where you water it. If you are unfulfilled, it's likely she is as well. Have you talked to your spouse about this?


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