# Separated with no words



## smileyMIA (Dec 28, 2017)

I was married to my wife for 2 years. but has been together as a couple for 10. Five years ago we decided to move from Atlanta, GA to Miami, Fl and start a fresh life together. About 2 and half years ago, we decided to get married. She set a deadline to get pregnant by a particular month. We tried really hard to get pregnant. But, Once her deadline came and went. Her attitude changed from good to bad. She felt I did not try hard enough. Also during this time, her mother was diagnosed with dementia. Her behavior with her family and myself got worst. She would start a argument with anyone close to her. So, About 8 months, My wife sent me a text to not come home., She locked me out and would not let me in the condo. The condo is in her name so I had no power to get back in. I thought this behavior would past., I slept in my office for that night (Thank God I have a office), I called and texted her to no avail. I had to go to Walmart to buy a toothbrush and clothes for about a week. After calling her family and telling them what happen. She finally brought me 2 bags of clothes. Then I took some advice from friends and her family. I called the police. With my picture ID in hand with my marriage license. They escorted me to the floor and tried to enter the condo. but she would not open the door. The building said they could not let me in, because she changed the Locks and did not give them a key. I was devastated and thought my life was over. I could not understand how I got this pointing my life. I was in a real depression and a bad state of mind. I'm a different person then to now. All of my long time friends are in NY and family lives in Montreal. So I feel kinda alone. Over the past few months I've been living in a motel. I can not leave Florida because of my job, I had a opportunity to transfer to another state when we were together, but that opportunity has come and gone. Once she randomly called and gave me a key for a storage unit. We spoke for a short time.She told me that she got laid off. I offered to help her, by putting her on my health insurance. I felt bad that she lost her job, and I didn't want to see her struggling. At the time. She was back to her old self. She seem really nice, but once she went to visit her mom her attitude changed for the worst. She does not answer my phone calls and text messages. but she continues to seek my help. About 2 week ago I got a email from her asking me to keep her on my health insurance for 2018 and recently found out she added my bank account to the power bill. 

She does not even speak to her family. She's very close to sister, but she not even speaking to her sister. Our birthdays are 2 days apart. I sent her a birthday gift, and put together a nice video with us. but of course she never responded., She did send me a Happy Birthday email. since then nobody has heard from her on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her family has embraced me even more since this drama. They have really kept in contact with me to make sure I'm doing fine. They have invited me to spend Thanksgiving with them. They also invited me to spend this Christmas with them. We feel that she is going through something mental. I've been going to a therapist for about 6 months dealing with the stress. My therapist also believe she having a mental break.He's also said that its not me. I should not blame myself.

Since she placed some of my things in a storage unit. a few weeks ago, the temperature in Florida dipped to the 40's. So I decided to goto the storage unit and get my coat, but to my surprise I got a "access suspended" message on the key pad. I've called her, left her a message. NO answer. I couldn't even visit my mom in Montreal for Christmas, because I believe my passport was part of the stuff that is in the storage unit. I contacted the storage unit, but they can not help me because it's in her name. My fear is my Worldly possessions have been disposed. I've called her and left a detail message stating fi you don't want me in your life. or you don't want me harassing you then just give me my things. If she doesn't want me in her life why is she holding on to my things. but continue to seek help from me? 


Sorry for the long letter

Mark


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Mark stop being a doormat....stop being the nice guy.

Stuff can get replaced...go to the Canadian Embassy and get a new passport.
File for divorce
Do not give her access to your bank account. And for god sake grow up and stop acting like a child. 
Maybe she is mentally unstable and maybe not, it up to her family now to have her committed for observation but you need to move on.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Mark stop being a doormat....stop being the nice guy.
> 
> Stuff can get replaced...go to the Canadian Embassy and get a new passport.
> File for divorce
> ...


And fie for divorce.

Her feet, followed by her backside, her bad side, has already filed out the door, filed straight backazzward out of your life.

Does she have a boyfriend?
Is she looking for more than you, a mere sperm donor?


----------



## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

Boy, this sucks. Sorry you're having to deal with this. Maybe she's into drugs. It's crazy behavior and drugs/alcohol is the first thing that came to my mind. 

Do 1 thing at a time. First up is your income. Go to a different bank and open up a new account. Go to your payroll department & have them deposit your paycheck automatically into your new account. And, don't put her name on your account! That'll take care of the power bill situation and remove her access from your money. Talk to your benefits department about removing her from your healthcare. If they're not able to do it right now, then when you have open enrollment at your workplace, remove her from your healthcare then. 

You've lost your balls somewhere along the way. You must find them. Do whatever you need to do. But find your balls and get back on YOUR path to take care of yourself. She chose her path and it doesn't involve you. Now you must act accordingly.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You've been a doormat. Stop. 

Ignore her. Take charge of your life.


----------



## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

yep, what the others said.

She still didn't have a legal right to lock you out of the house but you allowed her to anyway.

You allow her to use your insurance and bank accounts but she won't talk to you and treats you like garbage.

What exactly are you doing to help yourself ???


----------



## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

So basically she can treat you as ****ty as she wants and you sit back and take it hoping to get a table scrap of kindness from her occasionally? Who's the other dude she's having sex with? I ask because I'll bet there is one.

I want to add one more thing, it doesn't matter whose name is on the condo deed, it's a marital asset and you have every legal right to your residence there. Stop being so weak about this.


----------



## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

smileyMIA said:


> If she doesn't want me in her life why is she holding on to my things. but continue to seek help from me?


As others have alluded to, this is a pretty extreme example of letting someone walk all over you. She's even one step further than that in that she has also been very cruel to you. The fact that you continue to try to help and show care to someone who shows disdain for you means that you need some help dealing with this, whether it be severe depression, lack of self-worth, ect. Don't let this ruin anymore precious years of your life.


----------

