# separated for 50 days



## rookie123 (Sep 26, 2012)

hi....i really need advise from you people about what should i do? I have been married since two years and had an arrange marriage. Me and my husband had a long courtship in which i had felt a number of times that he and i are very different people but still felt that time changes things and got married. he had been an aggressive and short tempered person. However in two years os marriage we both had a lot of arguments and fights on small issues but often reached dirty level. my in laws mostly used to keep quite or support my husband indirectly and always expected me to adjust. The family enviornment is very different as well in which each person live thier own life unconcerned about other whereas i come from a very affectionate family. even i saw my in laws fighting and having cold wars for as long as 4 months with each other which i used to find really strange. I was also mostly left alone with an indifferent attitude without any support from anyone as a result i came back to my parents house a number of times, but after week or two, both families talked out the issue and i used to be sent back hoping things would be better.

however this time i had an issue with my husband cause of which we again had a fight. He made it difficult for me to stay by giving me silent treatment for weeks despite of my continous efforts to have a conversation with him. As a result i gave up again and came back to my parents house. As before i was leaving i front of my husband and in laws and no one made an attempt to stop me or have a talk. Now i am at my parents house since a month and there has been no contact by my husband or anyone else though i didnt had any issue with the family. I still do have feelings for my husband and want our marriage to work but not by totally surrendeing myself and things seem hopeless from that pov.

i am really lost as what sholud i do as i dont want my family or me to initiate the talks again as then they expect me to adjust and compromise in everything which i have done and cannot do more.

please help and advise me as to what should i do? should i jst wait for more time or think about divorce as an option. Kindly help


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Does your community have marriage counselors? You could ask your h to see one with you.
If not, perhaps seeing your priest together would help. You could bring up the silent treatment, and how much it hurts you.

The silent treatment is so destructive. He needs to learn communication. He learned this style of interacting growing up, and probably thinks it is normal. 

Someone needs to tell him that the silent treatment is wrong. If he has a problem he needs to talk about it and express himself.


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