# Who initiate sex in your relationship?



## suspiciousOfPeople (Sep 5, 2012)

The man or the woman? Or is it just sexless?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Both of us, depending.


----------



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

My husband. He's usually put off by me initiating. :scratchhead:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

Both of us, whoever is more in the mood


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

I usually do, but god I get so turned on when my wife does... I may be just weird. Let me put it this way (not try to be x-rated), my woody is more like steel when she initiates.


----------



## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

Only me. I stopped initiating 6 months ago...haven't had sex since


----------



## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

Anomnom said:


> Only me. I stopped initiating 6 months ago...haven't had sex since


Six months? No sex? I would be climbing the WALLS!!! 

Sorry to hear that


----------



## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

drerio said:


> I usually do, but god I get so turned on when my wife does... I may be just weird. Let me put it this way (not try to be x-rated), my woody is more like steel when she initiates.


I don't think it's weird at all  It feels good to be desired and having your SO initiating sex makes you feel desired/wanted.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Anomnom said:


> Only me. I stopped initiating 6 months ago...haven't had sex since


I'm so sorry, sounds like you have joined a convent.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

lovingsummer said:


> I don't think it's weird at all  It feels good to be desired and having your SO initiating sex makes you feel desired/wanted.


It does... I do initiate... and we have 18 years of marriage and still going on strong with at least 3 times a week (age 51 - sorry I am not trying to brag or make anyone feel bad)... I just find my 50 year old wife damn sexxxxxy.


----------



## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

Good for you guys  My H and I have been together for 20 years (I'm 40 - he's 38) It's staying on strong as well (of course we haven't been on the hood of the car lately though) hehe


----------



## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

H does mostly.... he loves it when I do though.


----------



## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

lovingsummer said:


> Six months? No sex? I would be climbing the WALLS!!!
> 
> Sorry to hear that





drerio said:


> I'm so sorry, sounds like you have joined a convent.


Yep, is pretty dire. And I'm only 34. Anyway I don't want to hijack this thread!


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Both of us equally. It was just me for a while, but I felt like I was being pushy. I like it when it's equal.


----------



## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

Depends on how strictly you define initiating. If we're talking physical, then it's 95% me. If we're talking signals, than it may be more 70/30. If I come to bed and she is wrapped in the blankets like a cacoon, that's one thing. But if she's lying on her side so her behind is the first thing I see when I come in, that's typically a signal she's interested. Or if she gets ready for bed in front of me instead of going into the bathroom to change.

But then again, it may just be wishful thinking on my part.


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

rj700 said:


> Depends on how strictly you define initiating. If we're talking physical, then it's 95% me. If we're talking signals, than it may be more 70/30. If I come to bed and she is wrapped in the blankets like a cacoon, that's one thing. But if she's lying on her side so her behind is the first thing I see when I come in, that's typically a signal she's interested. Or if she gets ready for bed in front of me instead of going into the bathroom to change.
> 
> But then again, it may just be wishful thinking on my part.


In our house, this would be signals.. For me anyways.


----------



## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Straight out initiating I'd say I'm about 98% of the time, but with signals (which she considers initiating) then I'm probably at apprx. 90%..with a tiny bit of flirting earlier in the day (which she also considers initiating) it's me at 95%..

As you can tell it's very one sided, she says she thinks it's about a 60/40 split with me being the 60..
I guess she considers her thinking about sex also initiating..she doesn't communicate well when it comes to sex..at all..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

We both do - it just depends. I no longer keep score. It's even enough that we both feel desired by the other and that's what initiating is really all about.


----------



## suspiciousOfPeople (Sep 5, 2012)

drerio said:


> I usually do, but god I get so turned on when my wife does... I may be just weird. Let me put it this way (not try to be x-rated), my woody is more like steel when she initiates.



Same here. It is such a turn on when my wife (although rare) initiates sex.


----------



## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

I always ready to go! I just wait for signals that he's in the mood. So, it you count going to bed nakie, then I initiate mostly.


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

It is equal. There are days where I initiate it, texting him naughty messages, and meeting him at the door when he is done from work.
He'll initiate when he comes to bed at night and, sometimes, throughout the day.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

More or less equal but probably slightly more me. My initiation is usually once in bed, or via saucy text messages while on late shift at work.

Hers is more pre bed.


----------



## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

Early in our marriage it was about 70/30 me being the initiator. Towards the end it was me 100%. 

Then I found out she was cheating. I guess that explains it.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm married to a nympho, take a wild guess


----------



## Dark Nova (Apr 27, 2011)

90% of the time I initiate. H is happy to let me arrange when we have sex. I ask him to initiate more, but eh. I guess he just isn't in the mood.


----------



## Dark Nova (Apr 27, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> I'm married to a nympho, take a wild guess


H calls me a nympho too. 
I'd have it every day if I could.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Nah that's not nympho

Try 3x a day lol
Next one coming soon, bah!!!


----------



## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

Me, 100% of the time or 1000% to much if you ask my wife.
She lets me know about .05% of the time that she "may" open to to it by light flirting. Even that is unreliable though.


----------



## longtimelurker (Aug 14, 2012)

My Wife - ALLWAYS.
It has to be that way ...


----------



## srcampbell1975 (Sep 12, 2012)

my husband usually initiates. We dont have much of a sex life anymore bc he gets tired of initiating all the time. I have serious confidence issues and always have....so i feel stupid initiating, or i feel fat and nasty. he says he loves me, but i'm just not into myself/ guess it is what it is


----------



## TopazGal (Sep 9, 2012)

Well I love sex.....so I will initiate....he will too when he is in the mood.....so it is good both ways....but I am more so.....


----------



## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

we go 3 to 4 times a week... 
I initiate 2 or 3 times, she will 1 or 2 times...
Used to be ALL me. But she now understands that she is a part of us.


----------



## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

longtimelurker said:


> My Wife - ALLWAYS.
> It has to be that way ...


Can you tell us why this is...... just curious.


----------



## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

As of now it's an 80/20 split. I'm 80 and she's 20. Was 90/10 a couple months ago, so making progress to balancing it out.


----------



## needyForHelp (Aug 8, 2012)

Only me ........


----------



## longtimelurker (Aug 14, 2012)

waiwera said:


> Quote:
> Originally Posted by longtimelurker
> My Wife - ALLWAYS.
> It has to be that way ...
> ...


Wife had 2 PA's all the while emasculating me and giving me crumbs. It made initiating on my part quite traumatic.

After the second D-day about 18 months ago, she has changed her behaviour drastically. I never made it a condition that she initiates, she knows intuitively. Our sex life has gone from 3 or 4 times a month to 3 or 4 times per week. I have not initiated once since D-day.
.
.
.


----------



## Feelingdown (Aug 13, 2012)

Usually me. Also, the wife initiates in a way that in the end it's still technically me who initiates. While I just jump on her and stick my thing inside she'll just stick her bum out at me in bed in a subtle way that, if you ask me, says 'come on, you know you want it'... she denies this and says it's just how she feels comfortable when trying to sleep, but I know the truth


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I never initiate, because it never happens when I do. In the past, I have tried to initiate on the spot and have been rejected. I tried some "advance warning" like suggesting for that evening before I leave for work, she tells me she's not in the mood.

I've only said no to my wife once... in the middle of the night when I was exhausted. Any other time in our marriage she has suggested sex, we did it.

I would say 99.99% of the time she suggests, we do it, 100% of the time I try to initiate, we don't. Now it's just too frustrating to try.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Nikola Tesla and his invention, the battery.

Actually who did invent the storage cell? Michael Faraday?


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Nikola Tesla and his invention, the battery.
> 
> Actually who did invent the storage cell? Michael Faraday?


Nice one.:lol:


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

suspiciousOfPeople said:


> The man or the woman? Or is it just sexless?


A. The Man
B. The Woman
C. Sexless
*D. None of the Above
*

We both do.


----------



## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

She initiates occasionally when she hits that point in her cycle and is really feeling it. I initiate the rest of the time. I have to say though, the sex is much hotter when she initiates.


----------



## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

In 5 years of marriage, 90% me. Wife initiated only after a long dry spell like 2 weeks, or when her libido surge near the end of her cycle, or after she had a wet dream.

And yes, it feels a lot better when she initiated. So sometimes I just hold myself for 2 weeks.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I would say 50/50 but we are still so new that we can't keep our hands off each other anyway. No real initiating needed we just seem to end up doing it, all it takes is a kiss and we are on.

I will do everything I can to keep it like this long term. We are both HD and came from long term marriages that were quite sexless in the later years.


----------

