# lies about drinking



## opagern (Jun 25, 2009)

Hi, i've only been married for 7 months but i have been with my husband now 3 1/2 years. He's always been a beer drinker since i've met him. occasionlly having a jack in coke when we went out. I started noticing about a year ago that his whisky drinking started taking over the beer. It's now so bad that he gets a bottle of whisky and drinks directly from the bottle and then chases it down with a coke. this of course is not normal!! He goes through a whole bottle a night. I can not stand him when he's drunk and slurring his words. He acts so stupid!! He knows how i feel about this i have brought it to his attention that he has a problem and he agrees that he does. Now instead of trying to get help he's just hiding it from me thinking i won't notice he's slurring his words. He lies and says he hasnt had anything to drink but then i find bottles in random places of the house. He will go out with friends and drink all night with his buddies and not come home at all. he does not even call me i assume because he's passed out from drinking too much. i wake up at 3 in the morning and find out he's not home and then worry if he's been hurt, arrested or who knows what! i'm at my wits end with him. He's always put his friends before me. all of his friends even agree. he acts like a bachelor. He lies to me about other things as well and i have lost all trust in him. i don't know what to do because i have lost all trust in him and of course question anything his says. I'm lost. i have given him so many chances to change and he always promises me no more that he's hit rock bottom then the next day gets a bottle. Help please! any advice??


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

Sounds like my ex... he never changed. Your husband has to want to change- he's going to keep doing it until he wants to stop. I think my ex went to 1 aa meeting... if he wants to change to make your marriage better then theres a chance, but if he doesn't see anything wrong with it then it's just a vicious cycle of apoligizing and trying to be good and then doing it all over again.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

He's an alcoholic. Can you move out? Leave him to his destructive behavior. Once he see you're gone..he will eventually realize it's real. But only HE can decide to do something about it. If he doesn't...well, harsh as it is, I'd have to say good bye to bad rubbish. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, girl.


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## YummyPB (Jun 25, 2009)

I am right there with ya girl. I've been dealing with this for 18 years and now have a 3 year old in the picture. Mine doesn't come home either after work. He's only into drinking beer but hey that can be 6-12 beers a day, which is too much to me! Then I get blamed for no sex drive. Yeah I'm really attracted to a drunk with a big beer gut. I have no advice, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I have no way of leaving at this point due to financial reasons. If I did have a way out, I would take it.


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## MrsRutland (Jan 21, 2009)

Sounds a bit like how my hubby used to be he did change I don't know how and why but he didnt know he has 6-8 cans of beer on a friday night usually when I've gone to bed and thats about it. Ask him to go to his doctors or directly to AA he needs help. My hubby started gambling and we had a few problems with that because he didnt get help with the drinking he had to find another addiction my other half used to disappear all night his gambling is getting better and i sometimes feel hopeless but you need to set a time limit in your own mind and if there are no improvments by then leave and start planning as escape now (putting money aside) this way you know you have tried your hardest and its up to him. life sucks sometimes but as you can see your not the only one sometimes we have to move on I didn't leave him because I have young kids and I'm glad I didn't because he is still slowly improving but some men will never improve sorry if you need anything just send me a msg x


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

he sounds like an alcoholic. a baddddd one who is going to go out of control. rock bottom for him may not be there yet.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

So many times it becomes very obvious that the alcoholic is destroying the relationship and the focus becomes on how to control them, how to help them, how to fix them, how to manage their addiction- the alcohol. but it is much less obvious that the other partner also has a an addiction they are unsuccessfully managing- the alcoholic. 

there is a support group called alanon that will help you regain control of your own life- and help teach you to let go of your own addiction. Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen
Even if you dont go to the meetings, which i found to be very helpful, there are some very good books on the website.


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