# Having sex when your spouse is sick



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

As a couple, do you have sex even when one of you is not feeling the best? Does anyone feel that they should have sex despite a spouse being sick? What are your thoughts on sex while one or both of you feel ill?


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

Nope, no sex for us when we are sick. Drippy noses and coughs are not at all attractive, breathing is strained, and you will surely infect your spouse with your germs.

Luckily neither one of us has had a long-term illness. I imagine we would try to find a way to be sexual if that occurred.


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

We just don't have sex full stop  .


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

it's call "sickie sex"


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## kokonatsu (Feb 22, 2013)

depends on the level of sickness.. a stuffy nose and slight cough I'm good to go, but worsen those symptoms and add a few others, i'd take a rain check.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

If it's a light cold or sniffles, if you will, then we still go at it. If it's bad sinuses, flu like symptoms, or tummy bugs...nah. We can wait it out a couple of days.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Hi Plan, 

This is a time you should tell your wife (assuming that she is sick), that you are going to set aside your needs and pamper her. Draw her a nice hot bubble bath in the jacuzzi and give her a nice back massage, and have her some new super comfortable sweatpants and sweatshirt to wear after she has soaked her aching body from any fever. Have a awesome movie rented she can watch while you tidy up the house.

Now here is the best part, while you are helping her bath, and shave her legs, she may not even notice that you get the job done so well that her pubic hair ends up shaved as well! This is your chance Plan! Distract her with nice deeds and you will get your wish!

Cheers,
Badsanta


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Nope. The last thing i wanna do is have sex while i feel like crap. I just prefer a back massage and lots of tlc


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Oh and what happens if you have the trots.... Not very attractive.


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## Marriedwithdogs (Jan 29, 2015)

I wonder what type of "sick" the OP is talking about. There are some ppl who stay in a state of "sick" such as fibromyalgia, MS,chronic fatigue, etc


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'd say to let the sick person decide if they want to have sex when they are sick.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I'd say to let the sick person decide if they want to have sex when they are sick.


My thoughts exactly.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I can't say sickness stops either one of us.. if we have the energy, and can mount each other.. we're still going to get it on...(just save the mouth kissing after that). 

And really...I'm not pushing this time...

I had a really BAD cold this past week ... almost went to the Doc when my neck was hurting...then canceled ... but had fever, headaches , stomach upset, felt a little like truck ran me over at times... might have even been the FLU... and we still went at it 3 times.. 

They say you are contagious BEFORE you have any symptoms and we kiss every day.. so Heck, it's too late anyway!! We're screwed.. 

But really... there has been a # of times one of us was sick.. and strangely the other never caught anything.. we don't understand it even. We're hoping he doesn't catch this!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Having sex while your wife is sick is ok as long as y'all don't do it in the same room where she's trying to sleep. That would be thoughtless and rude.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We usually have to be pretty sick to pass up sex - nausea, migraine, or something comparable. Little things like chronic Lyme disease, cancer, or serious back injuries (other than a few days after surgery) are not a deterrent!


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

In the first few years of our relationship we would always have sex unless someone is feverish or otherwise very sick. 

It is really up to the sick person to decide and in my view, initiate. If I'm the healthy one I'm not going to raise the issue at all.


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## muffin1983 (Sep 1, 2013)

Depends how sick and how long. Right now, my husband and I have been fighting colds for 3 weeks now. We didn't do anything sexual for the first two weeks but now that we're nearing the end and just have a slight cough, we are good to go.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I let my husband have fun with me when I am sick. I had stomach illness for two years in 2011 and 2012. We still had sex regularly (two or three times a week). He just needed to be more gentle. 

When he has a cold, he just needs to get hard and lie there, I climb on top of him and have my way, he doesn't need to do anywork. He is always happy to satisfy my desire. 

As long as you are not forcing it on him or her. If he doesn't want it or she doesn't want it, it would be insensitive to want sex.


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## tonedef (Aug 7, 2014)

I like to have sex with H regardless how I feel. My H feels the same. I think frequent sex keeps you healthy, boosts the immune system and helps you get over colds faster. Or it could be from the ole ''sweating it out'' factor. My h has even admitted that if I am feverish that it is extra warm down there lol. At least if I am sick someone benefits from it haha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

M2 gets a total pass when she's sick. And I generally don't feel desire when I'm sick. 

I do however have an incredible collection of memories from back in 2010. This was the one exception to the rule. 

She got the flu, and on the third day went hyper sexual. By the next day I had the flu. And for the next few days we had 2-3 rounds a day of killer sex - even though I had a fever and chills. Luckily I wasn't congested at all. Neither of us were. 

And plus I found a new tv series for us to try. It was on Amazon and was called Breaking Bad. So we spent 3-4 days in bed, bingeing on the first two seasons of breaking bad and sex. 

That was the BEST flu I ever had. By FAR. 

Nothing feels less sexy to me than having to hold my breath while kissing. Which is why we don't have sex when either of us has a cold......




Plan 9 from OS said:


> As a couple, do you have sex even when one of you is not feeling the best? Does anyone feel that they should have sex despite a spouse being sick? What are your thoughts on sex while one or both of you feel ill?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Dogbert said:


> it's call "sickie sex"


This is exactly what my wife calls it lol


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> This is exactly what my wife calls it lol


It's better than "sicko sex"


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> We usually have to be pretty sick to pass up sex - nausea, migraine, or something comparable. Little things like chronic Lyme disease, cancer, or serious back injuries (other than a few days after surgery) are not a deterrent!


haha I was still having sex with 2 broken ribs after a cycling accident.

Takes a fair bit to stop sex here.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

We will have sex during illness. If it's a cold, generally it's no kissing and we use touch as our way to kiss. Anything beyond a cold, sinus or headache is hands off until well past the worst of it.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

The thing is usually when i am Ill the last thing i want to do is have sex. I am surprised to see how many do to be honest.

Its ok when i am getting over it, but at the beginning of a cold or a bug or something sex is the last thing i am thinking about.

Hubby very rarely gets ill, but hes ok with not having it if i am not up to it.


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

I think my husband must be permanently sick


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## Fitnessfan (Nov 18, 2014)

Sick sex does not appeal to me at all.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Fitnessfan said:


> Sick sex does not appeal to me at all.


Same here. There's some archaic switch in my lilbido that sickie sex doesn't appeal to.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

For those who regularly make up excuses being sick is an actual excuse.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

What is this 'sex' of which you all speak?


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

I suppose tho if its the " not tonight i have a headache" then its probably an excuse.... SOME of the time  .


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

anonmd said:


> For those who regularly make up excuses being sick is an actual excuse.


Yep, I agree with that. My H is not particularly fit and healthy, although he promised before we married that this was something he would address with my help. Since marrying, his health and fitness has actually deteriorated and he takes to his bed at the slightest excuse. He has spent most of the past 3 weeks in bed with backache, despite having a job to finish which should have been finished several weeks ago. This month, as last month, it's me who has to find the rent money. I have explained to him that doctors nowadays advocate walking to get relief from backache and, although he agrees, he still lays in bed all day. Yesterday, I woke up with backache which is unusual for me. I did some yoga exercises which loosened it up a little and today I went for a long walk. By the time I arrived home, my back was feeling a lot better - he's still in bed. If it's not backache that makes him need to lie down, it's feeling exhausted. I too would feel exhausted if I spent all my time in bed, it's not a particularly healthy lifestyle. The exhaustion is made worse because he sleeps a lot during the day and is then up reading or watching netflix all night. He then complains the next day that he was still awake at 6 am! This seems to have turned into a bit of a vicious cycle and I'm beginning to wonder if he's every going to get up again. We live in a fairly large house with quite a lot of land. I told him today that I'm finding it all too much to cope with. I do all of the housework, all of the gardening and I work from home to make sure we have an income and can pay our bills. I moved overseas in order to live the dream but find that I barely have a minute to myself to enjoy life.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

A lot of good replies. I thought of the question because my wife has been battling a cold for the past week to 10 days. Over the weekend, she suggested that we have sex on Saturday and Sunday since I was leaving on Monday and wouldn't be back until Thursday - probably around midnight. She thought it wouldn't be fair to me to have to go without for 1 to 2 weeks. For me that would be an eternity; however I understand how that sounds to the other situations I read about on here and apologize if that sounds insensitive. Of course, I also know that she was feeling urges herself but didn't want to admit it...

It's times like this that I truly appreciate how lucky I was to find someone that views marriage much like I do. One thing I learned from TAM is that I have a special wife.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Nope.

I haven't had so much as a cold in over 10 years, so that's not an issue on this end. The occasional upset stomach, or overstuffed feeling, definitely will have be saying no though.

My wife gets sick a couple times a year, and tends to stay sick for at least a week when she does. I don't try to initiate at all when the illness is in it's acute stages. Sometimes she will, but I'll turn her down. If my wife is in pain or visibly ill it instantly zaps me of my desire.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Depends on the symptoms. If he can't breath due to a bad cold I wouldn't want to tax him. But we could have shower sex where the steam makes it easier to breath.

Digestive issues would not be pleasant to deal with during sex.

Bone pain....that's what Percocet is for right?

Sometimes I get into bed and my body is in such pain I don't want him anywhere near me, or anyone. But then I take a Percocet and wait for it to kick in, and just the absence of pain makes me want to have sex. It's so awesome to not be in pain anywhere!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Anon Pink said:


> Depends on the symptoms.* If he can't breath due to a bad cold* I wouldn't want to tax him. But we could have shower sex where the steam makes it easier to breath.


 I had to laugh at this.. my H will just ask me to get him a "breath right" strip...

Oh there is always a way if you want it !


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