# O/W Contacted Me today! ugh.



## So Sad Lady (Aug 31, 2012)

So I posted a long post yesterday about how I contacted the OW... Pretty funny (and sad) stuff. She fell in love w/my H, he used her for sexting...she's upset, wanted an apology from him. Ended ok, with me being as classy as I could...Saying I'm sorry, she got involved with a married man, this is her consequence. "I forgive you but can't be your shoulder to cry on, and I want no further contact with you ... " Her response was: 
*"You've been married a long time. Don't let it end without a fight. I didn't try hard enough to save mine and have regretted it for the past 8 years."*

As I said in my last post...I hit delete. Blocked her from my Facebook....And laughed my @$$ off. 

Got a note today that came from her daughter's FB account since I blocked her. Said she is really sorry to contact me again, but she really hopes that I'll talk H into calling her for an apology.

Didn't hide it from H. Even said if he wanted to call her, he could with me there. He doesn't want to, he says she knew it wasn't anything more than sexual, and that he told her that when he broke it off. He said he promised me he would never contact her again, and he's not going to break that for anything. 

So. Would like opinions... Do I respond to this message telling her it's not gonna happen, and she's out of our lives? Or just leave it as is?


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

I would just ignore it... if you respond, she may keep responding back to you.. trying to stay involved..


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Do not respond. Block the daughter. If you get ANOTHER message, kindly suggest that she refrain from further attempts to contact or you will contact authorities and bring charges against her for stalking. Tell her that you were being nice the other day, but you both wish for no further contact...and block her....again.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Ignore, blovk her forever. Don't waste anymore head space. She would be anyone else. What she had "over you" was hthe willingness to be a sexbuddie. Sad.


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

Hey do like my wife did you can put your account to sleep and take a break from facebook like a month and reconnect with husban.

By sleep to can close it for now and reopen it later. nothing will be lost.


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## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

Two options.

Block her, daughter etc...ignore everything she sends. However, this may drive her to snail mail and phone calls. If this happens, get a cease and desist or RO done through a lawyer.

Or,

Tell her that he is not interested in responding and you will be stopping all contact as well. Then block everything. This way at least she will know there is no hope of getting him to say anything, so you may not end up escalating to legal steps.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

She dug herself in. She didn't show you any respect or compassion when she snatched your husband from you so why should she get any from you? You need to respond, you need to be firm and tell her that h


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## MaritzSmit (Sep 21, 2012)

However, this may drive her to snail mail and phone calls


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## Zanna (May 10, 2012)

Is this OW for real? Your H owes HER an apology? Seriously.

The only person owed an apology is YOU.She knew what she was getting into when she got involved with a married man. The nerve of these women.

My H's ex-OW said it was not fair to her that he wanted his M. Not fair to HER? He said the things she said when he told her the A was poisonous and he could not do it anymore were unreal. ALL about her. He said that made him realize what a loser he had become because look what kind of selfish, self-absorbed, petty person he had attracted.

I'd tell this woman that she knew exactly what she was doing when she got involved with a MM and that she is owed nothing. Then tell her it's her last warning, move on with her life and do NOT contact you or your H again.


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## StagesOfGrief (Aug 19, 2012)

she just needs to go away. block the daugther, and ignore any further contact.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

I COMPLETELY agree with Zanna!!


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## Kanga (Sep 5, 2012)

My WH OW was the same. She actually went crazyand said that WH owed her dinner for an apology, he had to take her kids out for an apology, (apparently they thought he was going to be their new daddy), and he needed to organise a pile of business for her company, or a 1ct diamond. 

Before this, he told me he couldn't trust himself not to do it again, and he couldn't keep stringing 2 people along, so our marriage was over. 2 days later he changed his mind, but in the meantime OW emailled me. She said

"I am writing this as you need to understand that none of what has happened is any of my fault. It is important for you to both understand and accept this for the future of us all - you, me, WH, your kids and mine and of course my dog !!

I am sure (and hope) you are in good hands and I know WH loves you still. I will make sure he is kind and that he looks after you through this agony and the kids through the rest of their lives.

I am a kind and loving person, I adore kids and cannot help the connection WH and I made....... These things are never planned. You do sound like an amazing woman and your kids are beautiful too.

I do hope we can get on and that you can accept that ones needs change as we grow older. 

Please look after yourself as your kids need you for their important journey to adulthood."

After WH dumped her and asked me to come back she emailled me all their correspondence, including nauseating love letters which were traumatic to read.

She then started calling me, left a couple of voicemail messages, texted me, emailled some more and started phoning our house!

I never responded to her at all, (but I did stalk her a little!!)


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

So. Would like opinions... Do I respond to this message telling her it's not gonna happen, and she's out of our lives? Or just leave it as is? 

I would respond one last time. Tell her that your husband says no way in hell. And that you agree with him. Let her know that while might forgive her for the affair, you will not tolerate any further contact and that it will be viewed as harrasement and will be dealt with accordingly. Then block her daughter's account. Set your facebook to private. If she sends anymore emails contact a lawyer. She sounds a little unstable to me.

By the way, give your husband a high five for his response. It sounds like he is on the right tract toward reconciliation.

I find it funny as hell that she expects an apology from a man she knows was married. What a twit!!!!


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

Block. Delete. Whatever. No more contact.


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## So Sad Lady (Aug 31, 2012)

Thanks for the input from all. I guess there's no right or wrong in a situation like this, so I don't know.

But I was just thinking...She wrote from her daughter's FB. I cannot imagine she told her daughter that she was sexting with a married man. I guess you never know, but I doubt it. Daughter appears to be in early 20s with a new baby... 

She probably wasn thinking that I'd pass the message on to H and not respond since it's not her FB account and I had said no more contact.

If I respond, my assumption is the daughter would get the message first. Oh the pain I could possibly cause for her with a response. 

What an idiot. 

At least for right now, I'm opting not to respond. But it's pretty tempting. (Angel vs Devil)...


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Wh ow tried to extract an explanation and apology, i answered the email with a "the only one who is owed an explanation and apology is me the wife. The one you both destroyed with you immoral and disgusting behavoirs " she tried to suck up with the you have a beautiful family shtick too told her that if my kids names ever rolled off her tongue again i would legally destroy her life. Already exposed her to her bs, family, bs family, her church, volunteer work place and her co workers. The whole world can even look hr cheating ass up online with the details of what she did. Told her i would take her pretty little silver mercedes and unlanscaped house by suing her for alienation of affection because the affair started in texas and texas still has that law and i would file in that jurisdiction. Not that i would win but that moron did not know that. Shut her up pretty quick though


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

So Sad Lady said:


> Thanks for the input from all. I guess there's no right or wrong in a situation like this, so I don't know.
> 
> But I was just thinking...She wrote from her daughter's FB. I cannot imagine she told her daughter that she was sexting with a married man. I guess you never know, but I doubt it. Daughter appears to be in early 20s with a new baby...
> 
> ...


I hear ya. (Angel vs Devil). 

Now my naughty side said this to me. Contact the Daughter's FB account. Address your message to Daughter. Tell Daughter that, because of her mother's involvement with your H (edit as you deem fit) you will not be responding to (the mother) through daughter's FB, but for Daughter to tell her Mother that she has caused enough trouble in your marriage and to stay away.

What that accomplishes is:
1. You did not contact OW
2. You contacted Daughter
3. You exposed to Daughter
4. You "stir the pot" between Mother and Daughter.

That's my "Devil" side. 

My Angel side says to move on. Not quite as fun, but probably the best choice.


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## IseeU (Jul 13, 2012)

OP - you owe her nothing. Nothing.

Block and ignore.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

For my own satisfaction I would want her to know that it was my husband who turned her down. That it wasn't just a case of me getting the msg and hiding it from him. 

Just so she gets the picture that you have told him, have discussed, and he turned his nose up at her. And none of it came from you. All his words of rejection. And point out how silly to fall in love with a married man...all hurt is self inflicted. She is owed nothing. 

Hopefully her lover will fall for a bunny boiler too one day.


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