# So confused..Mixed feelings



## lays74 (Jul 30, 2013)

As much advise much apreciated.
I have been seperated from my husband for 2 years after he walked out on me and our 3 children through arguements both sides, i didnt trust him from mant occasions of him lieing about things, he also has 3 children 2 different mothers who are very much vocal in out relationship putting pressure on ours so there are many issues from my side. My husband was a very selfish man, our relationship didnt start on a good foot, it was casual for a year, me wanting more commitment him beind un commited, it ended with him cheating on me and having a relationship with this girl and a son...but a few years later when his sone was 9months old we was back intouch, i still loved him so we tried again but the ex he cheated on me with was a big problem for me, but i did try and accept it if i wanted to be with him, all was fine i loved him dearly and hoped he could be a great dad to my son of 4, who is now 12, things were rocky with lies, but i would be non the wiser if i didnt snoop, not good i know but this is how i found out half what he was upto, although it was mainly harmless flirting, which he is, it didnt lead to anyhting more as far a i know, but it caused rows and more insecurity from me.
time passes and my son and husbands relationship was never perfect in my eyes, my husband was hard on him and my son being very sensetive reacted in tantrums as he grew up, husband not dealing with this and our rows walked out.. in the seperation he met a girl yet still chased me, so i took him back which only lasted 3 months as my gut told me he isnt being honest with me, i wanted a clean start, so i snooped again to fond he has slept with my friend who was helpling me through a seperation.. i was gutted, i confronted him and he denied it untill i proved i knew, yes we was apart but it still hurt very much and i felt betrayed.. so we again split, i was crushed and found living very hard but fought hard as my children was hurting too.. i met a great guy but it didnt work because i was not over my husband still as he would still tell me he loved me..
i moved house trying to start a fresh yet could not cut ties with my husband.. clearly he saw the chldren as much as he could but i still felt gutted our marriage was over.. but the last 6 months he has been trying to prove he wants us all back and he has been fantastic even my son and him get on better.. but i since founf out he had slept around a lot while sperated, we live in a small town so feel everyone knows my life and im a private person.. but again my feeling of if i get bcak with him will he hurt us all again and could i trust him, but if i decide to divorce and finally end us will the children suffer, i married this man should i try and make with work..
i do love him and i know i will still be crushed if i fianally end this but i also feel i deserve better and i dont know if i would be better off starting new.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

His track record is very poor.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Good golly his track record IS poor. I mean, how many women has he slept with/impregnated in the last 15 years? The guy is a sleezeball and you sound incredibly co-dependent, which only enables his behavior.

You need to learn to stand on your own two feet. File for a legal separation so that he has to start paying you child support and make him work to prove that he can be loyal to you and his kids. (I will bet you money that he won't be able to let his bed stay lonely for long)


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