# 1 in 5 Marriages are Sexless



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Top Ten Sexless Marriage Statistics for 2022:

- Gen X and millennials have the least amount of sex.

- * After four years of marriage, only 48% of married women want regular sex. *

- Sexless marriage statistics report that 12% of midlife women and 7% of women 65 and older report low libido.

- Experts define sexless marriages as the couple having sex less than ten times per year.

- * Roughly 61% of people believe intimacy is essential in a marriage, according to sexless relationship stats. *

- On average, married Americans have sex 51 times per year.

- * Sexless marriage facts show a sharp decline in the amount of sex people have during their first year of marriage. *

- Couples in sexless marriages consider divorce more often than couples who have regular sex.

- Sexless marriage percentage is hard to obtain, but between 15%-20% of couples in the US didn’t have sex in the past year.

- According to sexless relationship statistics, people who have sex less than once a week are less happy than those who have it more.

- There are three common causes of a sexless marriage. The statistics involving sexless marriages, and psychotherapist Tina Tessina, Ph.D., claim that there are three causes of sexless marriages. First, there could be a lack of communication. Then, one partner might be too neglectful. Finally, one partner in the relationship could have had his or her feelings hurt and/or got turned down too many times.









15 Fascinating Sexless Marriage Statistics For 2022


The sexless marriage statistics found within this article will hopefully help you understand this issue better, and maybe help yourself or a loved one.




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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

So all this seems good news. Sounds reasonable.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Sounds like an advertisement to stay single. I'm sold!!!


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Nothing kills passion in women faster than marriage.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Nothing kills passion in women faster than marriage.


All jokes start in truth which is why there are so many about this. 🤣🤣🤣


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

CraigBesuden said:


> - Gen X and millennials have the least amount of sex.


They also have lower Testosterone on average, so this is no surprise.



CraigBesuden said:


> - * After four years of marriage, only 48% of married women want regular sex.*


Close to the divorce statistics, so also not a surprise. People otw out the door generally don't want sex.



CraigBesuden said:


> - Sexless marriage statistics report that 12% of midlife women and 7% of women 65 and older report low libido.


In other words, the clear vast majority do want sex regularly.




CraigBesuden said:


> - According to sexless relationship statistics, people who have sex less than once a week are less happy than those who have it more.


Well, duh! 😂


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I would think porn has a lot to do with this too.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Nothing kills passion in women faster than marriage.


What’s the old joke…How do you cure a nymphomaniac? Wedding cake.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

I'm Gen X, but happy to say we are destroying those stats, lol.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Well, according to that, the average married have sex 51 times a year. That is almost exactly once a week. That's about where we are currently in our 60s'.
So I guess we're average'?' I don't have a huge appetite, 3 times a week would be groovy. Recently, my wife has been initiating more than me, so all is good!


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Gen X

Married 11 years

Have sex 131.07 times per year

Addendum: I’m a fat **** and my wife is definitely curvy.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

KindBuddha said:


> Obesity has to be in there somewhere too.


Great point actually.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

An average of once a week is encouraging. Although, to get that average from our population means we have some pretty serious nymphos and some corpses.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

I read a similar study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior summarized by Him. They actually broke down the numbers of sexual encounters by age. 



> People aged from 18 to 39 tend to have the most sex, with General Social Survey data showing that 18 to 29 year olds have sex just over 78 times per year on average.
> 
> 30 to 39 year olds are fairly similar, racking up just under 78 sex acts per year on average.
> 
> In comparison, people in older age groups reported having sex less often. The average person aged 50 to 59 reported having sex 38 times per year, while people in their 60s reported having sex an average of 25 times per year.


They also found that unpartnered men had the least amount of sex while unmarried but living together had the most. 



> According to the data, people with no steady partner had sex the least, with the average single person having sex approximately 33 times per year.
> 
> In comparison, unmarried people who live with their sexual partner had sex the most frequently, clocking in an average of 86 times per year.
> 
> ...


The reason for the drop in sex with married couples is related to age and not marital status.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Nothing kills passion in women faster than marriage.


Actually, I think that the correct statement is that nothing kills passion in women faster than small children. I suspect that a cross correlation on years of marraige, sex drive, and number of children under the age of 3, would find small children a much stronger predictive factor.

Most couples who get married do probably have children within 4 years of marriage, and I would expect a young nursing mother of a baby would not have much time, inclination, or energy for sex wtih her husband. At least that was my experience.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

It’s because they didn’t wait long enough to get to the empty nest stage where the husband starts hoping he will be able to keep up …..


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

*“1 in 5 Marriages are Sexless”*

Well, 1 in 5 men are probably losers.
2 in 5 men are technically below average in any given criteria.
Same would apply to women.

So it’s natural to expect a bottom 20% bracket of anything to suck, including marriages and spouses.

Don’t be in that bracket.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

My question is always what is the source of these statistics? What was the survey design? The internet is full of this stuff, I can never tell what if any validity there is to it. Making a statement about 1 in 5 of anything is kinda silly. Like "1 in 5 dogs will bite under the right circumstances". 

And like @DudeInProgress writes, "Don't be in the bottom group".


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## DLC (Sep 19, 2021)

Wait a sec? So married couple have sex 51 times a year on the avg? So some couple out there has to be having sex 102 times a year to make that math works here. 😅


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

DLC said:


> Wait a sec? So married couple have sex 51 times a year on the avg? So some couple out there has to be having sex 102 times a year to make that math works here. 😅


I don’t get your point.
102 / year is about twice a week. That’s not unusual.


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## DLC (Sep 19, 2021)

DudeInProgress said:


> I don’t get your point.
> 102 / year is about twice a week. That’s not unusual.


It was a math joke.

avg is 51. The number in my world is 0.

so (102 + 0) / 2 = 51

haha. Oh well, joke on me. 😅


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here's more on the topic.... The Sex Starved Wife | Talk About Marriage


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

Women are the gatekeepers regarding sex and in marriages is it definitely the woman that mostly lose their sexual drive, especially middle age and older women.
Within the sex industry clients are mostly older men, which is understandable.
As for the statistic that married couples have sex 51 times per year or roughly once a week, I know that would be a luxury for many husbands.


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## BoSlander (6 mo ago)

How about just f-cking? Just f-ck for the heck of it. Because you have to do it. Just do it. Eventually your libido gets up to par and both are happy.

Prostate, vagina, breasts, penises, testicles, ovaries, etc. These are all organs that we all *MUST* use or else. Mother Nature will be ruthless with you if you decide to forgo using these organs. Eventually metastasizing malignant cells start creeping up and then life comes at you real f-cking fast. 

I recently had my prostate checked and... wanna know what my doctor told me is the best way to keep the prostate from enlarging? Yup, sex and masturbation. At least once a day.

SOOOO, think of it as a way to maintain your organs in pristine state.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

CallingDrLove said:


> Gen X
> 
> Married 11 years
> 
> ...


I am Gen X and this year has been a slow year compared to the last couple. Current pace is ~180 for the year.

Having spent a long time in the around 50 club it felt completely dead to me.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

DLC said:


> Wait a sec? So married couple have sex 51 times a year on the avg? So some couple out there has to be having sex 102 times a year to make that math works here. 😅


I am not following where the 102 times comes from. Distribution from zero to twice a day is 730 times in a year. And the Aussies may be up toward twice that number  Most natural things follow a bell-shaped curve. With a small percentage very low and a small percentage quite high. Like mortality. Some humans die at birth. Some at 100+, average these days 70-80 in developed countries.

I am convinced that the frequency numbers are impossible to know. Various "surveys" produce either inflated or deflated numbers.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

BoSlander said:


> How about just f-cking? Just f-ck for the heck of it. Because you have to do it. Just do it. Eventually your libido gets up to par and both are happy.
> 
> Prostate, vagina, breasts, penises, testicles, ovaries, etc. These are all organs that we all *MUST* use or else. Mother Nature will be ruthless with you if you decide to forgo using these organs. Eventually metastasizing malignant cells start creeping up and then life comes at you real f-cking fast.
> 
> ...


There was a female member on here awhile ago that said she maintained a high frequency to prevent her husband from getting prostate cancer. I have never had a urologist tell me what yours told you. And I had cancerous prostate removed decades ago despite 1-2 encounters per day being our norm. My urologist said it was western diet that caused it, based on demographics of prostate cancer victims. Asian rates are very low until they move to the west and begin eating western diet.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Lila said:


> The reason for the drop in sex with married couples is related to age and not marital status.





Young at Heart said:


> Most couples who get married do probably have children within 4 years of marriage, and I would expect a *young *nursing mother of a baby would not have much time, inclination, or energy for sex wtih her husband. At least that was my experience.


I think age is most definitely a large factor.

When my female friends and I first married and had our kids we were in our late teens and early-mid 20's. Even having multiple young kids we were ourselves young and chock full of hormones. We'd regularly go without an hour or so of sleep for sex, no problem.

Most of us divorced and remarried. Of those almost all had at least 1 child with their 2nd husbands. But they were older and their hormones were different than in their youth. Some had medical conditions and others just experienced normal hormonal shifts as they aged. Sleep was more or a necessity to remain functional. Sex could wait. I imagine it's similar for women who delay first marriage or first child.

And, frankly, a couple of the gals married men who they weren't necessarily physically attracted to because they loved other qualities.

The good news is that even though most of my female friends report having less sex now that we're older they also report the sex they are having as being higher quality.


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## aaarghdub (Jul 15, 2017)

I would add access to pornography, higher levels of self consciousness/anxiety in women, working moms increasing becoming the breadwinners or shouldering most of the duties/stress.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

1/5 marriages are sexless? I spouse that means at least 20% of married people are unaware that there are 8 BILLION people on the planet.

there needs to be some education…🫶


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

I feel there is a difference in intimacy and sex. In fact, I KNOW there is. So there's that too. Many women need that intimacy factor before being in the mood for sex, which to the same point, many men I think feel like they're closer and have more intimacy following sex or even in the moment of it. 

It's kind of the cycle of life lol, or a happy marriage when women to give sex, to also make their physical man who needs sex, in turn want to give intimacy and love to their wife. IDK if that's making any sense? Before some women go totally crazy and start to bash me, I'm not saying we must have sex to 'earn' intimacy, I'm just saying when the cycle is on trend and going round and round, it just makes the two things easier for both to provide to the needs and desires of their spouse. I feel anyhow..


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I feel there is a difference in intimacy and sex. In fact, I KNOW there is. So there's that too. Many women need that intimacy factor before being in the mood for sex, which to the same point, many men I think feel like they're closer and have more intimacy following sex or even in the moment of it.
> 
> It's kind of the cycle of life lol, or a happy marriage when women to give sex, to also make their physical man who needs sex, in turn want to give intimacy and love to their wife. IDK if that's making any sense? Before some women go totally crazy and start to bash me, I'm not saying we must have sex to 'earn' intimacy, I'm just saying when the cycle is on trend and going round and round, it just makes the two things easier for both to provide to the needs and desires of their spouse. I feel anyhow..


I agree with this. Intimacy & sex are basically a feed-back look. Men and women both get intimacy from sex, but it does seem that women did more non-sexual intimacy. This all breaks down if one or both partners without either sexual or non-sexual intimacy.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Vaccines, and not just the COVID poison.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Mr.Married said:


> It’s because they didn’t wait long enough to get to the empty nest stage where the husband starts hoping he will be able to keep up …..


Disagree at least based on what I see here. Usually on TAM, either the couple keeps the rate up throughout or the sex is rare / gone forever.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I feel there is a difference in intimacy and sex. In fact, I KNOW there is. So there's that too. Many women need that intimacy factor before being in the mood for sex, which to the same point, many men I think feel like they're closer and have more intimacy following sex or even in the moment of it.
> 
> It's kind of the cycle of life lol, or a happy marriage when women to give sex, to also make their physical man who needs sex, in turn want to give intimacy and love to their wife. IDK if that's making any sense? Before some women go totally crazy and start to bash me, I'm not saying we must have sex to 'earn' intimacy, I'm just saying when the cycle is on trend and going round and round, it just makes the two things easier for both to provide to the needs and desires of their spouse. I feel anyhow..


This is why it takes at least one spouse to get the feedback loop going. Most men don’t want to actually do what it takes to get out of a sexless marriage and instead they just want to complain about how the woman should be doing this and if she doesn’t it’s not fair or just. Instead he should be increasing intimacy and making himself more attractive. This is a situation of masculine leadership. Only he can get the ball rolling and fix the sexless marriage.

You can’t guilt trip a woman into horniness.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

CraigBesuden said:


> - Gen X and millennials have the least amount of sex.


Except for those Gen-X and Millennials, who share plenty of sex.

Of which I'm Gen X and so far through this year (including both of us getting Covid-19 at one point), I've shared sex with my wife on 226 occasions.



> - * After four years of marriage, only 48% of married women want regular sex. *






> - Sexless marriage statistics report that 12% of midlife women and 7% of women 65 and older report low libido.


In other words 88% of midlife women and 93% of women 65 years and older don't report having a low libido.



> - On average, married Americans have sex 51 times per year.






> - * Sexless marriage facts show a sharp decline in the amount of sex people have during their first year of marriage. *






> - Couples in sexless marriages consider divorce more often than couples who have regular sex.






> - Sexless marriage percentage is hard to obtain, but between 15%-20% of couples in the US didn’t have sex in the past year.


Well however many they are. The fact that they have remained married, despite not sharing sex in the past year. Shows that all of those married people who haven't shared sex together, have chosen to stay married while not sharing sex. So they are choosing to be in sexless marriages.



> - According to sexless relationship statistics, people who have sex less than once a week are less happy than those who have it more.






> - There are three common causes of a sexless marriage. The statistics involving sexless marriages, and psychotherapist Tina Tessina, Ph.D., claim that there are three causes of sexless marriages. First, there could be a lack of communication. Then, one partner might be too neglectful. Finally, one partner in the relationship could have had his or her feelings hurt and/or got turned down too many times.


At the end of the day, there would be very few sexless marriages if everyone who finds themselves in a sexless marriage ended such marriages. That some people choose to remain married, when they find themselves in sexless marriages. Shows that those people, want to be in those sexless marriages. Given that, good for them, in choosing such marriages.


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## plastow (Jan 4, 2022)

CraigBesuden said:


> Top Ten Sexless Marriage Statistics for 2022:
> 
> - Gen X and millennials have the least amount of sex.
> 
> ...


mine has gone to nothing after i had prostate cancer and am now on hormone therapy which starves me of testosterone.so erection problems started as soon as i started on the course and my wife quickly stopped either trying to have sex in other ways although she always enjoyed sex without intercourse.if we do have sex which i feel i should make the effort to plrase her but she never once has said she would like to have it.not oncei will be unable to get an erection for at least 1 more year and possibly never again.she always enjoyed sex but never instigated it and during it never would tell me her fantasies,i told her mine and indeed she actually indulged in one of them with me ,which was a total disaster.thats on a former post.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

plastow said:


> mine has gone to nothing after i had prostate cancer and am now on hormone therapy which starves me of testosterone.so erection problems started as soon as i started on the course and my wife quickly stopped either trying to have sex in other ways although she always enjoyed sex without intercourse.if we do have sex which i feel i should make the effort to plrase her but she never once has said she would like to have it.not oncei will be unable to get an erection for at least 1 more year and possibly never again.she always enjoyed sex but never instigated it and during it never would tell me her fantasies,i told her mine and indeed she actually indulged in one of them with me ,which was a total disaster.thats on a former post.


Nothing but compassion and good thoughts and hope for a reasonable outcome for you and situation. You're handling everything in an outstanding way. 👍👍👍👍


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

CraigBesuden said:


> Top Ten Sexless Marriage Statistics for 2022:
> 
> - Experts define sexless marriages as the couple having sex less than ten times per year.
> 
> ...


There is a disconnect between these two statments. As I read them it suggest that the percentage of american that are in sexless marriages must be over 20%.


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## Okguy (Aug 25, 2015)

CallingDrLove said:


> Gen X
> 
> Married 11 years
> 
> ...


********


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## CrapMan (7 mo ago)

Lila said:


> I read a similar study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior summarized by Him. They actually broke down the numbers of sexual encounters by age.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I am closer to 70 than 60 and the wife 6 years younger. We have weekly sex normally. Then we vacation 6-9 weeks spread through the year. We have daily sex on vac except on the travel days. I guess we are not the typical 60+ crowd. I am a fat guy to boot. 😎


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Personal said:


> At the end of the day, there would be very few sexless marriages if everyone who finds themselves in a sexless marriage ended such marriages. That some people choose to remain married, when they find themselves in sexless marriages. Shows that those people, want to be in those sexless marriages. Given that, good for them, in choosing such marriages.


That reminds me of the old saying, “Every nation has the government that it deserves.” Basically saying that if a country didn’t want to have a terrible government, they would overthrow it.

It’s easy to say that if your spouse begins doing X (or stops doing X) and you stay, then its on you. But not everybody looks at marriage as a typical contract that you can (and should) break whenever it no longer is useful to you. Some people take their vows seriously. And some people don’t want to hurt their children.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

CraigBesuden said:


> - * Sexless marriage facts show a sharp decline in the amount of sex people have during their first year of marriage. *


This suggests to me that many of the sexless marriages were a bait-and-switch. One (or both) of the partners aren’t attracted to the other. They put up with a good sex life until the wedding. Once they are married, there’s no need to pretend any longer and the slide into dead bedroom begins in year 1.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

SCDad01 said:


> What’s the old joke…How do you cure a nymphomaniac? Wedding cake.


Didn't cure mine a decade ago 😖


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Just wanted to point out that you left out some very relevant information in your quotes



CraigBesuden said:


> Top Ten Sexless Marriage Statistics for 2022:
> 
> - Gen X and millennials have the least amount of sex.


This isn't just married couples of these generations. Stats show less sex married or not. Also, millennials have fewer partners on average. 



CraigBesuden said:


> - * After four years of marriage, only 48% of married women want regular sex. *


Here is the full quote from the original source:
_Only 48% of married women want regular sex after four years. But there's light at the end of the tunnel: Scientists recently found that, when you control for age, couples who are married longer actually become more likely to be sexually active. Bottom line: Get over the post-honeymoon hump and things are likely to be even more intimate. _



CraigBesuden said:


> - Sexless marriage statistics report that 12% of midlife women and 7% of women 65 and older report low libido.


It then follows up with: 
_A third of these women, who are aged 45 to 64, and those older than 65, are distressed about their lack of sexual desire. An article states that one of the more significant causes of this issue is menopause_. 



CraigBesuden said:


> - Experts define sexless marriages as the couple having sex less than ten times per year.
> 
> - * Roughly 61% of people believe intimacy is essential in a marriage, according to sexless relationship stats. *
> 
> - On average, married Americans have sex 51 times per year.


Nothing to add here



CraigBesuden said:


> - * Sexless marriage facts show a sharp decline in the amount of sex people have during their first year of marriage. *


Some more detail. First it is from 1981, so not really relevant to Gen X and beyond. 

_William James (1981) analyzed diaries kept by newlywed couples over the course of their first year of marriage. Couples reported having sex on seventeen or more occasions during their first month of married life; however, by the end of the year, their rate of intercourse had declined to approximately eight times a month._

This doesn't sound like a bait and switch. Sounds like a very hot 1st month and by the end of the first year they are still having sex about twice as often as the average married couple.



CraigBesuden said:


> - Couples in sexless marriages consider divorce more often than couples who have regular sex.
> 
> - Sexless marriage percentage is hard to obtain, but between 15%-20% of couples in the US didn’t have sex in the past year.


nothing to add



CraigBesuden said:


> - According to sexless relationship statistics, people who have sex less than once a week are less happy than those who have it more.


It goes on to say: 
_It may come as no surprise that people having sex more often are happier. However, what might surprise you is that couples who have sex two, three, or four times per week are not happier than those who have it just once.
_


CraigBesuden said:


> - There are three common causes of a sexless marriage. The statistics involving sexless marriages, and psychotherapist Tina Tessina, Ph.D., claim that there are three causes of sexless marriages. First, there could be a lack of communication. Then, one partner might be too neglectful. Finally, one partner in the relationship could have had his or her feelings hurt and/or got turned down too many times.


I wonder why they failed to mention health issues, long distance relationship and any number of other possible reasons?



CraigBesuden said:


> 15 Fascinating Sexless Marriage Statistics For 2022
> 
> 
> The sexless marriage statistics found within this article will hopefully help you understand this issue better, and maybe help yourself or a loved one.
> ...


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

CraigBesuden said:


> This suggests to me that many of the sexless marriages were a bait-and-switch. One (or both) of the partners aren’t attracted to the other. They put up with a good sex life until the wedding. Once they are married, there’s no need to pretend any longer and the slide into dead bedroom begins in year 1.


As I just posted, I think you are incorrectly interpreting this statistic.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

This appears to be more of a relationship issue than a sex issue, because there are studies that show the average person (male and female) masturbate at least once a week.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Nothing kills passion in women faster than marriage.


Not always.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Good and frequent sex starts with effective communication. Couples need to effectively communicate their needs and building trust. We just don’t communicate nowadays and that is a large part to why sex is dwindling.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Nothing kills passion in women faster than marriage.





Diana7 said:


> Not always.


I agree -- not always.

For me, marriage made my passion grow as time went on. I grew more and more attached to my husband the longer we were together. As the days, months and eventually years passed, I felt increasingly secure with him and my trust in him really locked in. All of this contributed to making my passion for my husband increase as time went on.

Marriage definitely did not kill the passion for this woman. It made it better.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

CraigBesuden said:


> That reminds me of the old saying, “Every nation has the government that it deserves.” Basically saying that if a country didn’t want to have a terrible government, they would overthrow it.
> 
> It’s easy to say that if your spouse begins doing X (or stops doing X) and you stay, then its on you. But not everybody looks at marriage as a typical contract that you can (and should) break whenever it no longer is useful to you. Some people take their vows seriously. And some people don’t want to hurt their children.


All people who choose to stay in sexless marriages, do so because that is actually what they want to do. Some of them rightly, own their choices and don't complain about it. While some others falsely claim they are victims, all while they pretend, that they aren't actually choosing to stay in a sexless marriage by their own choice.

For example some of those people who pretend that they're victims, claim that their vows are the only reason why they choose to sustain their sexless marriage. All while they conveniently ignore the "to have and hold" and the "to love and to cherish" bits if they were married in a Christian ceremony for example.

At the end of the day sexless marriages only exist because people choose to sustain them. Which is all fine, and good for them as well. Yet make no mistake, twisting oneself into a pretzel, to come up with excuses to pretend that someone is a victim of a sexless marriage is just asinine.


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