# cell phone cheating?



## lucylove (Aug 15, 2008)

My boyfriend clears his calls recieved/dailed/missed all the time. I find this odd unless your hiding something. Any thoughts?. I checked his phone once and saw he called a women that I didn't know of. Since then this is his behavior. Mind you he doesn't know I still check but really I don't want to be played.


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## bluebutterfly0808 (Aug 18, 2008)

is there any way you can check his call history, either online or through his monthly bill? 

how did you react when you saw he called another woman? did you confront him? how did he react?


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I don't know, I clear mine all the timea nd I am not cheating, but I like to have it clear. Does he like to keep his house/apartment ultra clean, is he a tidy person? or is he a slob? Tidy people will keep the phones clean

Also none of that information is completely erased, much like a computer it is somewhere on the sim card (memory) it can be extracted by the phone company, all you need is a warrant.

So no you can't get that information.

Do you ahve a reason to believe he is cheating or you just paranoid? Have you been cheated on before? Why don't you trust him?


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## bluebutterfly0808 (Aug 18, 2008)

i believe the original post said that it has been his behavior to clear his call history since she discovered that he called a woman she didn't know. that is why i asked what the reactions were to that original finding.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

yea I saw that, but she checked his cell phone and then questioned him about some woman she doesn't know?

Sounds very paranoid to me. I talk to a old high school friend for a while every so often, SHE is married with three kids as well, husband is a great guy, he has met me once, my wife has met her once. But the woman and I will call each other just to talk etc. My wife did not know her when we "re-connected" after many years, But I told her who it was why we contacted each other, etc.

My wife has a strong trust in our relationship, as I do.

If you do not trust each other, then you need to check it. Then get to that point of mutual trust.


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## lucylove (Aug 15, 2008)

I only asked because he did something out of the ordinary and went to a bar alone to have a beer and watch hockey on a Friday night when I couldn't do anything. He called her 1/2 hr before he went to this bar. She was in his contacts. He was pissed I felt I had to check on him. He did cheat on me about 4yrs ago, alot was going on and he had me convinced it was because of the trouble we were having. He has a pattern long before me of having women friends in the wings incase he needs them. He as taken her off his contacts but come on, I'm sure he can memorize a number. This past weekend I checked again because so out of the ordinary stuff was going on. I was suspcious, everything was cleared except a text from an aquentaince of ours (a women). It said can you call me. He must have forgotten to clear that!,I waited all weekend to see if he'd tell me why she would need him to call her. He never said a word, even after she and her husband drove by the house and waved. If he forgot wouldn't that have caused him to remember she contacted him?. Alot doesn't make sense but If I confront him on this, I better be ready to walk away. I don't want to walk if its nothing but I don't know. What I don't get is we aren't married and don't live together. Why cheat... just break up!!


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## lucylove (Aug 15, 2008)

He can have all the female friends he wants... they just can't be a secret.. Big difference.


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## bluebutterfly0808 (Aug 18, 2008)

if something makes the other feel uncomfortable (especially with a past history of cheating) there should be no harm in asking what is up. the suspicions start when the other gets defensive. if he has nothing to hide, he should be willing to quickly put her fears to rest.

i think you should try to talk to him, in a nice approachable way, and tell him that you've been getting a different vibe from him lately & want to know if there is a problem. see where that takes you. good luck!


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## bluebutterfly0808 (Aug 18, 2008)

lucylove said:


> He can have all the female friends he wants... they just can't be a secret.. Big difference.


right on! secrets kill any relationship, especially if it's a secret about the opposite sex! why is this so hard for some to figure out?


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## lucylove (Aug 15, 2008)

Funny you should say that. He's been stressed at work.Knowing this information about the text and erasing his phone history, that he doesn't not know I'm aware of. I asked him " you seem distant" we had a big fight because instead of staying yes, I'm distant I'm stressed about work. He made it into a you don't understand me, your always looking for something wrong,your insecure and so on. Either he was truly hurt that I didn't realize it was just work, or he was trying to put the blame on me so he could defuse the situation.


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## bluebutterfly0808 (Aug 18, 2008)

i feel your pain. my husband & i have been in those same types of arguments & we always seem to misunderstand where the other is coming from. i guess it's just a man/woman thing. as far as you being insecure, it's unfortunate that he doesn't use this as a message to see that maybe he is not making you feel secure. i guess relationship issues are never that black & white though. i don't know whether or not your bo has done anything wrong but it's plain to see that you are not happy with the way things are going. maybe you need to sit down & have a blunt conversation with him. say - i don't want to fight. i am looking for a solution to fix this tension between us. i am uncomfortable with "x, y, & z". we need to find a way to fix this.--------if he does not respond well to this, maybe try writing a letter. good luck!


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## bluebutterfly0808 (Aug 18, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> yea I saw that, but she checked his cell phone and then questioned him about some woman she doesn't know?
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> i suppose it depends on the way he was confronted about this. does it matter if she curious who he was talking to? he shouldn't be so defensive if it was no big deal, right? sometimes it just seems like common sense.


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## lucylove (Aug 15, 2008)

How do I ask about the text message that was on his phone? He'll know I'm still checkin up on him. I wish I could just blindly trust him but he almost destroyed me when I found out last time. I guess that itself should show me, we don't have what it takes to make it. Trust is everything.


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## bluebutterfly0808 (Aug 18, 2008)

you may just have to come right out & ask. just remember, you have every right to know. you should explain to him that you are sorry for not having complete trust in him, but that he just doesn't seem to be acting like himselft lately & that makes you worry. try to be completely honest about your feeling without getting completely emotional. therfore, figure out exactly how everything is making you feel before you talk to him & lay it on the line. he may appreciate the fact that you are not jumping all over but just trying to get him to understand where you are coming from.

yes, it is very hard to trust after they betray you but as far as having what it takes, that is a decision you have to make on your own. you know yourself & what you can & can't handle.


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## Johnson (Mar 18, 2009)

Do you have to install something on your sig. other's phone for that program to work?


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

Do you happen to know if this would work on a blackberry if the device is only used for emails not as cell phone or for sms text?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dwaynewilliams (Feb 1, 2010)

It does seem like you have every right to be concerned. If a man cheats on a woman and she stays with him, it is somewhat of an unspoken rule that she can call him to the table on some things. I would confront him about it. If he isn't cheating, he should be understanding of the situation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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