# I want to divorce my wife



## southernguy

We have been married for nearly 16 years. We have a couple kids. I have lost my love for her for almost 5 or 6 years. We have tried to work things out, but she is a boring person. she has no life. I am an outgoing person. Standing at the alter, I had doubts about marrying her. I don't want to hurt her and the kids, but I need a life too. counseling won't help, she doesn't take to change well. I do most of the duties around the house. I am just burned out. We have sex about once every 2 months. She just lays there, like always. My wife and I are nothing alike. I don't want to touch her anymore. I don't want to stay married, and I don't want to be a dead beat dad. What should I do?


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## Mom6547

Honestly. You married her. "Counseling won't help" is lame. It is very LEAST due diligence when you have kids.


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## 827Aug

So, you married her knowing she was a boring person and quiet different for you?! Or has the marriage grown stale over time? You know she may be thinking the same thing about you. People dear to us always deserve a chance. People and relationships aren't disposable. Please give marriage counseling and marriage/relationship books a try before throwing in the towel. Then it's fair to everyone.


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## southernguy

I think I married her because I didn't think I could get anyone else. I know that is dumb, but it is true. I don't want to counsel. I just want to go about my everyday not married.


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## Mom6547

What did you come here for then?


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## 827Aug

southernguy said:


> What should I do?


Well, I guess you should just be selfish since that's what YOU want. Get a divorce and be free? I'm somewhat puzzled by the reason for your post. You don't want advice. I assume you are looking for support, since you have made your decision.:scratchhead:


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## chuckles

You can leave her w/o becoming a dead beat dad. Dead beat dads are the ones that want to forget they were ever a dad (as well as in a relationship). Pay your child support, keep your visitation schedule and move out if that's what you want. But YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE ANY HAPPIER!


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## Georgicus

Can anybody see this is an honest question? The guy just KNOWS with 16 years of experience that the couple doesnt work. I am in the same, 16 years, 2 kids. She always said it was my fault. I always said she was the fault. I corrected all she mentioned I was failing at (making more house work, stopping arguing that the couple doesnt work, stopping demanding sex at least twice a week, began praying, went to a couples christian course, went to meetings of couples, I got her breakfast at the bed, made swimming and got fit for a year, and as always, being a good father. But she didnt change her egypt mummy 9pm going to bed and sleep. Her life is just going to the office and then share with the kids and going to sleep at 9 pm. Nothing of couple sharing, of sharing social life with other couples, of having any lunch or dinner at any restaurant, or see a movie. The sex is worst, every 45 days- Im done- but I don`t want the kids to be unhappy, because they love me. But I am not happy and Ill move on.


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## EleGirl

Georgicus said:


> Can anybody see this is an honest question? The guy just KNOWS with 16 years of experience that the couple doesnt work. I am in the same, 16 years, 2 kids. She always said it was my fault. I always said she was the fault. I corrected all she mentioned I was failing at (making more house work, stopping arguing that the couple doesnt work, stopping demanding sex at least twice a week, began praying, went to a couples christian course, went to meetings of couples, I got her breakfast at the bed, made swimming and got fit for a year, and as always, being a good father. But she didnt change her egypt mummy 9pm going to bed and sleep. Her life is just going to the office and then share with the kids and going to sleep at 9 pm. Nothing of couple sharing, of sharing social life with other couples, of having any lunch or dinner at any restaurant, or see a movie. The sex is worst, every 45 days- Im done- but I don`t want the kids to be unhappy, because they love me. But I am not happy and Ill move on.


Of course it's serious.

The answer it to do everything you can to get her on board with fixing the marriage. If she will not work on this with you then you have 2 choices.

1) grow and develop your life, do the things you want that make you happy. Your sex life will be minimal but if you choose this option, that's life.

2) get a divorce, be a good father to your childern (which includes paying child support if ordered), and move on with your personal life.

What else is there to say? You are the one who has to make these choices. No one here can make that choice for you.


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## anchorwatch

Georgicus, this is a old thread...zombie thread! Start a new one with your story.


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## EWU92

I can sympathize with your frustration. I have been married to my wife for 21 years, @ the 7 year mark I stopped loving her when it was revealed she was having an affair. I stayed in it for the children, and I am counting the years, I put on a happy face and go through the motions. Like a lot of men you are experiencing sexual frustration @ a partner you find yourself supporting while she neglects you in the bedroom, it can be a nail biting experience. My advice to you while you are in the relationship would be to lay it on the line, I recently told my wife to put out or get out, bottom line. I would also advise you to start tucking away as much cash as you can. The courts are totally one sided and unless your wife is a crack head she will take full custody of the children. You will need start up cash for a deposit on your own place, a lawyer, vehicle expenses even food. You are of the right mindset, you have a right to be happy, just don't jump into it blindly, cash is king start rat holing as much dough as is possible. And don't buy anything that could be consider a marital asset, if you do you'll end up buying half of it back from her.


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## illwill

Its one thing if you naturally fall out of love over time. It's entirely different if she cheats, after that you owe her nothing, she broke the vows. What you owe your children is a happy home, even if it's two homes.


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