# Keeping the house?



## Fjustusmj (Feb 28, 2021)

Anyone buy out their spouses portion and stay in the marital home? Was wondering how that process works and how you came up with a home value you both agree on????


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

My ex-husband and I had a ridiculously amicable divorce. We had a realtor friend do a casual (no paperwork and very low-cost) appraisal of the marital home. He came back with a value that we both agreed was reasonable. We simply deducted what was owed on the mortgage from the home's value to determine the equity we had in the house. My then-husband transferred assets and cash equaling half of that equity to me as part of the divorce settlement. Then, my ex-husband refinanced the mortgage into his name only, and I signed a quit-claim to get my name off the deed to the house. He and his current wife are still living in that house today. 

It gets more complicated if you are upside down on the mortgage, if you and your spouse can't agree on the equity value, or if you disagree on how to split the other assets to compensate the one who won't stay in the home for their share of the equity. 

To start with, you'll need a professional appraisal in order to determine the home value. If you're using attorneys to handle the divorce, I'd see what yours recommends and go from there. Your spouse, personally or through his/her attorney, will either agree to the appraiser or counter with another suggestion. I've even seen couples each use their own appraiser to get two appraisals and then work out a compromise based on the two appraised values (they shouldn't be very far apart). If the divorce is contentious, I'd let the attorneys hash out who to hire for the appraisal and how to handle it.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

While it's certainly doable as the last poster mentioned, and can ease some of the burden of having to deal with staring over in a new place, I dunno...something a little weird about it....Also, most women like to set up their own "nest"....while I can't speak for all, Id bet a lot of them won't want to live in the same house the ex wives of the new bf/husband lived in/decorated, picked out, etc....They'd never be happy with that ghost inhabiting the place....

If there are little kids involved, its probably best that the primary care giver continue to remain in the house with the kids....Ive known many divorced guys that decided to go that route to protect their kids...


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