# Unusual first date ?



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

delete


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> I finally decided to go on a date with a man that’s been chasing me for years. I get to the date we hugged and start to walk around. We find a bench sit down cuddle for a little. Then he starts rubbing my leg asking, if I got a lot of compliments. Then he rubbed my face and called me pretty. He kept giving me this deep soul stare, and asking me why I was shy ? Out of know where he ends the date early, and I never heard from him again?


If you never hear from him again, he decided against you 
Maybe he didn't consider you responsive enough.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

He sounds a bit weird to me.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> He sounds a bit weird to me.


Ya think?


----------



## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

Unless you were into the pawing and the lusting, it's fortunate he's gone. 
You were lust out sex stuff, worth the play once to get you before he's on to NEXT.
Now, he's already gone. Be grateful. He's got a book with a dozen names in it. 
Yours is crossed off. 

He's a good old fashioned creepy piece of garbage.


----------



## plastow (Jan 4, 2022)

Becky_dime said:


> I finally decided to go on a date with a man that’s been chasing me for years. I get to the date we hugged and start to walk around. We find a bench sit down cuddle for a little. Then he starts rubbing my leg asking, if I got a lot of compliments. Then he rubbed my face and called me pretty. He kept giving me this deep soul stare, and asking me why I was shy ? Out of know where he ends the date early, and I never heard from him again?


sounds like you didnt respond to him


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Yes, a bit unusual if not creepy.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

plastow said:


> sounds like you didnt respond to him


What do you mean ?


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

It sounds to me like he was looking for quick, easy & cheap sex. He didn't even offer a proper date like a cup of coffee. Sitting on a bench while he basically molests you. Good heavens. 

This guy didn't care about you. He wanted to get laid. Period. When you didn't put out, he left. There only mystery is why you don't see that.


----------



## Angie?or… (Nov 15, 2021)

Sounds creepy as all get out! That’s not a date! I think you dodged a bullet there.


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Becky_dime said:


> What do you mean ?


He was looking to skip dating and go straight to sex. You didn't just drop your panties in the middle of the park so he's out. 

Don't worry you aren't missing anything. Find someone more well rounded to date.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> What do you mean ?


He was hoping to get into bed for the night. 
It sounds like he works on women all the time for the purpose of sleeping with them on the first date.
You weren't willing, so he decided to consider another woman that he was probably working on as well. 
He probably keeps a stable of women that he works on so he is guaranteed a certain level of action.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Becky_dime said:


> What do you mean ?


After chasing you all those years, he was ready to speed things along.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

He sounds like a creep just by the fact of him chasing you all those years. That's not a person who's dealing with reality.


----------



## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

Becky_dime said:


> What do you mean ?


You were supposed to start pawing him and feeling him up as you whispered sex stuff in his ear. He moved on from "your date (park bench)" to some other sure thing. 
You were new and interesting and he had already put in all the work over the years. It was checkout and cashout time, after all that effort he has already put in. 

Yes, he hits on a dozen women a week, continuously. Some go right off with him when he does that stuff. It just takes the "right woman". You weren't the "right woman". 

If you want week nights bang bangs, he's your man. But bang bang and that's the whole date.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

..


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

He verbally probed.
He glared.
He fondled.

He left.
He appears, gone.
He has not called back.

He did not feel the spark.
His spark is responsive, his flint got dampened.
His will went soft.

He may let you stew and come back more aggressively.
He has not much patience.
He casts his line rapidly, knowing he will get a strike, sooner or later.

...........................................................
Edit to add.

You knew each other for two years, or more.......

Oh, there is the odd chance he was embarrassed by his own actions, and he misread your feelings. 

He may have realized his own feelings and misconceptions.
He may have bowed out, clumsily.
Clumsy (and inexperienced) is his middle name.



_Nemesis-_


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

….


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> I finally decided to go on a date with a man that’s been chasing me for years. I get to the date we hugged and start to walk around. We find a bench sit down cuddle for a little. Then he starts rubbing my leg asking, if I got a lot of compliments. Then he rubbed my face and called me pretty. He kept giving me this deep soul stare, and asking me why I was shy ? Out of know where he ends the date early, and I never heard from him again?


Be happy, it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Someone making sexually charged advances that boldly on a first date is unlikely to be a good partner in a committed relationship.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> He verbally probed.
> He glared.
> He fondled.
> 
> ...


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> Exactly. Then he asked me if I got a lot of compliments? What kind of question is that ? I was fixing my purse and as I looked up, he like was staring into my eyes, like very deep.


Maybe he thought he had the powers of Count Dracula and could hypnotize you into sex. Sounds like a really creepy guy.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

See my ETA, to this post.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> See my ETA, to this post.


What’s your eta


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> What’s your eta


He edited to add to his last post


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

The title of your thread should be:

Unusually lucky first date ended quickly


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Becky_dime said:


> I finally decided to go on a date with a man that’s been chasing me for years. I get to the date we hugged and start to walk around. We find a bench sit down cuddle for a little. Then he starts rubbing my leg asking, if I got a lot of compliments. Then he rubbed my face and called me pretty. He kept giving me this deep soul stare, and asking me why I was shy ? Out of know where he ends the date early, and I never heard from him again?


How long has it been since your date?
And what did he say that ended it early...did he jump up and leave after asking why you were shy?
How were you responding to those questions?

I also think he was acting a little strange...did anything feel off about him to you, compared to how he's been for the past 5 months?


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm never going to date again. I can't even figure out what happened. Why was he holding your face?


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

…


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

…


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Becky_dime said:


> So we had conversations, I had a hard time looking him in the eye. Which is weird for me, he kept asking why I was shy. Which I didn’t think I was shy, it was my first time meeting him. I responded and said I’m not shy. After I was done fixing my purse I look up, and he’s staring into my soul! He then looks at his phone and says, “how about 10 more minutes, because I have to go help a friend “. He then kept asking me “are you mad that I’m leaving? He asked me that like 6 times.


Ugh. You should block his number. That saying you're shy is a tactic to intimidate you. Wanting you to beg for him to stay is a look into his soul. Seriously, there is creep written all over this guy.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)




----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> He sounds a bit weird to me.


I second this!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Becky_dime said:


> So we had conversations, I had a hard time looking him in the eye. Which is weird for me, he kept asking why I was shy. Which I didn’t think I was shy, it was my first time meeting him. I responded and said I’m not shy. After I was done fixing my purse I look up, and he’s staring into my soul! He then looks at his phone and says, “how about 10 more minutes, because I have to go help a friend “. He then kept asking me “are you mad that I’m leaving? He asked me that like 6 times.


How long has it been since your "date"? He hasn't contacted you at all?


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Diana7 said:


> a bit weird





rugswept said:


> creepy piece of garbage





Benbutton said:


> a bit unusual if not creepy.





Angie?or… said:


> creepy as all get out!





DownByTheRiver said:


> a creep





BigDaddyNY said:


> Sounds like a really creepy guy.





DownByTheRiver said:


> there is creep written all over this guy.


But who is doing the writing? (in excuse he is a single male and, if he is short or over 40 he is pretty much guaranteed this definition)

Honestly I wouldn't have enjoyed the date, from OP's point of view. OP seems a lot less confused than I am about what happened. The early exit seems like a preplanned escape clause. I don't know how to help because:
He asked to often and too long.
He touched too soon. (I'm Demi and don't get this)
The date was just talking with no pressure relief.
To me it's an impossible situation designed to make everyone uncomfortable. BUT he didn't design it.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Mr. Nail said:


> But who is doing the writing? (in excuse he is a single male and, if he is short or over 40 he is pretty much guaranteed this definition)
> 
> Honestly I wouldn't have enjoyed the date, from OP's point of view. OP seems a lot less confused than I am about what happened. The early exit seems like a preplanned escape clause. I don't know how to help because:
> He asked to often and too long.
> ...


I think he did if he's been pursuing for two years. Then he left because he's read too many online ways to manipulate women (that one is push/pull) and he blew it because then he asked six times if it bothered her he was leaving. Nobody knows what this guy looks like or cares. If he's pursued her for two years and being weird on their first date, it's red flags all over the place. My guess is he waits 5 days and contacts her. Calling her shy is especially creepy to me because the one man who called me shy turned out to be a date rapist. Can you imagine anyone calling me shy? That's him running a script on her, the script he would like to play out. He's already got it all in his head. If she's smart, she'll block him now.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think he did if he's been pursuing for two years. Then he left because he's read too many online ways to manipulate women (that one is push/pull) and he blew it because then he asked six times if it bothered her he was leaving. Nobody knows what this guy looks like or cares. If he's pursued her for two years and being weird on their first date, it's red flags all over the place. My guess is he waits 5 days and contacts her. Calling her shy is especially creepy to me because the one man who called me shy turned out to be a date rapist. Can you imagine anyone calling me shy? That's him running a script on her, the script he would like to play out. He's already got it all in his head. If she's smart, she'll block him now.


 He never contacted me again. He was blocked after a day


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> How long has it been since your "date"? He hasn't contacted you at all?


A week and nope


----------



## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

I have learned something I never knew from the post by the OP. 

This man was hunting with low level animal kingdom moves of domination and control. 
It came in three sensual ways: (1) audio - you are shy .... (2) visual... staring in the eyes of a wolf who is about to pounce (3) a nice touchy feely stroke here, touch there. 

That's stuff I didn't know existed until I read all the OP statements. 
In what he did with this woman, in date mode, is far in excess than I have done with any or all women I have known (aside from W), combined. 

I never went hunting for them. I became the victim of one who did. 

That guy is a woman killer. He gets what he gets. It's fun and done.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

@Becky_dime, it's your thread, take whatever is useful to you. Let the rest of us go. The purpose of dating is to use shared time to get to know if you want more. This guy left you confused and unhappy. you decided on your own, to not be open to more contact or dating. I'd back you on that. I haven't had a date that awkward since I was 16. I tend to see your date as more clumsy than predatory, BUT I wasn't there.

Better luck next time. (and by luck, I mean that point when your preparation meets up with a solid opportunity)


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Becky_dime said:


> I finally decided to go on a date with a man that’s been chasing me for years. I get to the date we hugged and start to walk around. We find a bench sit down cuddle for a little. Then he starts rubbing my leg asking, if I got a lot of compliments. Then he rubbed my face and called me pretty. He kept giving me this deep soul stare, and asking me why I was shy ? Out of know where he ends the date early, and I never heard from him again?


I guess you original instinct to stay away was correct.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Becky_dime said:


> He never contacted me again. He was blocked after a day


Smart!


----------



## Asterix (May 16, 2021)

SunCMars said:


> He did not feel the spark.
> His spark is responsive, his flint got dampened.
> *His will went soft.*


Is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Mr. Nail said:


> @Becky_dime, it's your thread, take whatever is useful to you. Let the rest of us go. The purpose of dating is to use shared time to get to know if you want more. This guy left you confused and unhappy. you decided on your own, to not be open to more contact or dating. I'd back you on that. I haven't had a date that awkward since I was 16. I tend to see your date as more clumsy than predatory, BUT I wasn't there.
> 
> Better luck next time. (and by luck, I mean that point when your preparation meets up with a solid opportunity)


I haven’t had a date like that ever. I have a lot of dating experience. When he first seen me he looked mad. Then him asking me if I got a lot of compliments to him asking me 6 times if I was okay with him ending the date early. I was happy it was ended . I just didn’t get the whole interaction.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Asterix said:


> Is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?


Yep, and so do, still warm old fools.

Why ja' ask?


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Mr. Nail said:


> But who is doing the writing? (in excuse he is a single male and, if he is short or over 40 he is pretty much guaranteed this definition)


I'm just curious...why over 40? Being a fookin weirdo isn't age dependent. Unless I misread your post?


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

…


----------



## SurfsUpToday (Dec 6, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> I finally decided to go on a date with a man that’s been chasing me for years. I get to the date we hugged and start to walk around. We find a bench sit down cuddle for a little. Then he starts rubbing my leg asking, if I got a lot of compliments. Then he rubbed my face and called me pretty. He kept giving me this deep soul stare, and asking me why I was shy ? Out of know where he ends the date early, and I never heard from him again?


You dodged a bullet.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Benbutton said:


> I'm just curious...why over 40? Being a fookin weirdo isn't age dependent. Unless I misread your post?


of course being a fookin wierdo isn't age dependent, Being labeled a creep is.


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Becky_dime said:


> Where both college age!


You didn't mention that in your first post.


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Mr. Nail said:


> of course being a fookin wierdo isn't age dependent, Being labeled a creep is.


What the eff is the difference? Creep v. Weirdo = same thing with a different label.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Benbutton said:


> You didn't mention that in your first post.


 I thought I did my apologies. 

I told him I was moving which he already knew. 

During the date he kept asking me when I was moving, and getting upset that I didn’t know exactly when I was moving. I told him in a month, he stated “ then what’s the point of this “.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> I thought I did my apologies.
> 
> I told him I was moving which he already knew.
> 
> During the date he kept asking me when I was moving, and getting upset that I didn’t know exactly when I was moving. I told him in a month, he stated “ then what’s the point of this “.


That changes things a little bit, from him being a creep who just wanted to sleep with you to a guy that didn't see the point of romancing you when you're not going to be around in the near future.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Benbutton said:


> What the eff is the difference? Creep v. Weirdo = same thing with a different label.


careful this is a thread jack The difference is the difference between "being" and "being labeled"


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> That changes things a little bit, from him being a creep who just wanted to sleep with you to a guy that didn't see the point of romancing you when you're not going to be around in the near future.


He knew I was moving for a while now. It wasn’t something new that he didn’t know


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> He knew I was moving for a while now. It wasn’t something new that he didn’t know


He may have not understood that it was going to be as soon as it was.
He was hoping for more from you than you would have been wanting to give within the time frame available.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> He may have not understood that it was going to be as soon as it was.
> He was hoping for more from you than you would have been wanting to give within the time frame available.


Well still, I even tried to make him feel better by telling him hey “we can hang until I move” he was like well “we will talk about it “. This was before the date got weird. If he wasn’t attracted to me or what not. Don’t touch me or do all that weird stuff. When I got there I completely lost interest.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> Well still, I even tried to make him feel better by telling him hey “we can hang until I move” he was like well “we will talk about it “. This was before the date got weird. If he wasn’t attracted to me or what not. Don’t touch me or do all that weird stuff. When I got there I completely lost interest.


At the very least, he didn't have a clue as to how to romance you.


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Mr. Nail said:


> careful this is a thread jack The difference is the difference between "being" and "being labeled"


Yeah...both are labels. At any rate OP cleared some things up since the original post. The picture has changed quite a bit.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> At the very least, he didn't have a clue as to how to romance you.


What do you mean ?


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> What do you mean ?


He wanted to romance you, I'm gathering, by his touching you and rubbing you and asking you personal questions and whatever.
His style didn't work on you.
You didn't respond as he hope, which is ok.
His style wasn't your style. That's all.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> He wanted to romance you, I'm gathering, by his touching you and rubbing you and asking you personal questions and whatever.
> His style didn't work on you.
> You didn't respond as he hope, which is ok.
> His style wasn't your style. That's all.


I just felt like the whole thing was strange. 

What was the purpose of asking me if I got a lot of compliments?


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> I just felt like the whole thing was strange.
> 
> What was the purpose of asking me if I got a lot of compliments?


Because he thought you were attractive and he was wondering if anybody told you that you were attractive.
For example, if I asked you, "Does anybody ever compliment you about your eyes?"
I would ask that because I thought you had beautiful eyes and I was wondering if anybody else noticed.
If you said no, then I could feign shock that nobody has noticed and tell you that you have great eyes.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> Because he thought you were attractive and he was wondering if anybody told you that you were attractive.
> For example, if I asked you, "Does anybody ever compliment you about your eyes?"
> I would ask that because I thought you had beautiful eyes and I was wondering if anybody else noticed.
> If you said no, then I could feign shock that nobody has noticed and tell you that you have great eyes.



What about me looking in my purse, and when I look up at him he staring into my soul?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> What about me looking in my purse, and when I look up at him he staring into my soul?


No one really knows what was going through his mind. It probably is just his pickup style. Odds are you are the first person he has done this with, unless he was using you to experiment with something new. Who really knows, other than him?


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> No one really knows what was going through his mind. It probably is just his pickup style. Odds are you are the first person he has done this with, unless he was using you to experiment with something new. Who really knows, other than him?


Yeah he got blocked 

I’m just trying to figure out why he did all that chasing, just to leave early and never reach out again?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> Yeah he got blocked
> 
> I’m just trying to figure out why he did all that chasing, just to leave early and never reach out again?


I think it became obvious he wasn't going to get what he wanted.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I think it became obvious he wasn't going to get what he wanted.


 Weird …


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Becky_dime said:


> *He touched my face with his finger and said “your very pretty you should be more confident “*
> 
> I was like “I am very much confident “





Becky_dime said:


> I picked the date. *He was chasing me for 2 years and we started talking for 5 months straight*. The date was kind of awkward. I don’t feel like he came on to hard. We talked for a little laughed, then it got awkward. *I told him I was moving soon*, he got upset. We talked for a little more and he just ended it early. *Which is okay !*


My read on this is that he had spent a lot of time pursuing you. You and he talked straight for 5 months prior to the date. In most relationships there is a lot less pressure and expectations associated with a first date. After 5 months of talking a lot with you, he must have felt he knew a lot about you. In fact he may have fantasized and projected things about you that were totally not true. If so his first date would have been a mind boggling confrontation of his fantasies about you with who you really were. His expectations were probably way too high going into this date the two of you had.

If I were you, I would do some introspection on the conversations with him to see if any of his awkward actions during the date, might have been related to any of your conversations.

Now as to you comment about "being rubbed" and everything moving too fast on the first date, you need to look at this from his perspective. This was not a "typical first date." You could have structured it as a "first date" but it was from his perspective a chance to be physical with a woman he hand known for years (2) and had been having meaningful conversations with for five months. 

Pick yourself up and move forward. The next time you get into a relationship with a guy, don't wait 5 months before you have a first date and especially have that first date as soon as you start communicating with him on a real regular basis.

Good luck.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I think it became obvious he wasn't going to get what he wanted.


And so he moved on. Not partner material, but does all this conjecture really mean he's a terrible person? Not on it's face. I mean, he hasn't tried to stalk OP afterwards. Just cleanly left.

Just playing devil's advocate.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Young at Heart said:


> My read on this is that he had spent a lot of time pursuing you. You and he talked straight for 5 months prior to the date. In most relationships there is a lot less pressure and expectations associated with a first date. After 5 months of talking a lot with you, he must have felt he knew a lot about you. In fact he may have fantasized and projected things about you that were totally not true. If so his first date would have been a mind boggling confrontation of his fantasies about you with who you really were. His expectations were probably way too high going into this date the two of you had.
> 
> If I were you, I would do some introspection on the conversations with him to see if any of his awkward actions during the date, might have been related to any of your conversations.
> 
> ...


Then why didn’t he tell me that ? Instead of awkwardly rubbing my leg and touching my face . When he decided to end the day early. That should have been that! Don’t ask me 7 times, if I’m okay with you leaving, and don’t continue to rub my legs while your driving me back.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> And so he moved on. Not partner material, but does all this conjecture really mean he's a terrible person? Not on it's face. I mean, he hasn't tried to stalk OP afterwards. Just cleanly left.
> 
> Just playing devil's advocate.


Yeah that’s true. I was skeptical about meeting him because he showed some red flags. Telling me he loved me , which was strange. Blocking me because I wouldn’t reply back fast enough.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Becky_dime said:


> Then why didn’t he tell me that ? Instead of awkwardly rubbing my leg and touching my face . When he decided to end the day early. That should have been that! Don’t ask me 7 times, if I’m okay with you leaving, and don’t continue to rub my legs while your driving me back.


I suspect that your "date" was not all that experienced and he was awkward with women. Again, I would suspect that after pursuing you for 2 years and talking frequently with you for 5 months, "you" had become a fantasy image to him. His "date" with you was not really a date with you, but a date with the mental image he had of you. I would not be a bit surprised if in his mind you were not some perfect "sex doll" until reality started to occur in his mind.

Most adult dating relationships engage in sex withing a few weeks to a month of starting the relationship. Your perspective was the two of you were not in a dating relationship or if you were it wast the very first part of one. His perspective was probaly a lot different. That is not your fault.

*"Then why didn’t he tell me that ? Instead of awkwardly rubbing my leg and touching my face .*

I would guess he felt he had 2 years of pursuing you (or at least his mental image of you) and 5 months of intense talking and interrelating to you). That is he had way too much invested in you to easily let go of his dream. He also was probably too mentally aroused and stimulated to not interact with his fantasy. Again, he sounds like he was not all that experienced with women.

*"When he decided to end the day early. That should have been that! Don’t ask me 7 times, if I’m okay with you leaving, and don’t continue to rub my legs while your driving me back"*

You are absolutely right in your perspective. 

If you really want to understand what happened you need to look at this from his perspective and not yours. I think that the biggest "mistake" was in talking to him for 5 months before you had an actual physical date with him. That time probably created a false sense of closeness and intimacy on his part that did not really exist between the two of you. Also, it might have been better to have arranged the first date and explained some boundaries or expectations.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Young at Heart said:


> I suspect that your "date" was not all that experienced and he was awkward with women. Again, I would suspect that after pursuing you for 2 years and talking frequently with you for 5 months, "you" had become a fantasy image to him. His "date" with you was not really a date with you, but a date with the mental image he had of you. I would not be a bit surprised if in his mind you were not some perfect "sex doll" until reality started to occur in his mind.
> 
> Most adult dating relationships engage in sex withing a few weeks to a month of starting the relationship. Your perspective was the two of you were not in a dating relationship or if you were it wast the very first part of one. His perspective was probaly a lot different. That is not your fault.
> 
> ...


Thanks for that. 

I think he did have a false sense of intimacy image built in his head. I really didn’t feel any chemistry, it was awkward. I wanted to feel chemistry, but I just didn’t. 

I kinda thought he would have kept trying though. I didn’t expect him to never reach out after the date.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Young at Heart said:


> I suspect that your "date" was not all that experienced and he was awkward with women. Again, I would suspect that after pursuing you for 2 years and talking frequently with you for 5 months, "you" had become a fantasy image to him. His "date" with you was not really a date with you, but a date with the mental image he had of you. I would not be a bit surprised if in his mind you were not some perfect "sex doll" until reality started to occur in his mind.
> 
> Most adult dating relationships engage in sex withing a few weeks to a month of starting the relationship. Your perspective was the two of you were not in a dating relationship or if you were it wast the very first part of one. His perspective was probaly a lot different. That is not your fault.
> 
> ...


He also was walking in front of me a lot and not walking beside me ? It was just very strange I’ve never been on a date like this, and I’ve been on loads. He also told me “ this was just a meet up I don’t want the date to be to long”. That’s what he said before he ended it, but still continued to rub my legs on the drive back.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> He also was walking in front of me a lot and not walking beside me ? It was just very strange I’ve never been on a date like this, and I’ve been on loads. He also told me “ this was just a meet up I don’t want the date to be to long”. That’s what he said before he ended it, but still continued to rub my legs on the drive back.


Stop wasting your time worrying about him. You won't ever figure him out and why would you care. You won't ever date him again, right? Just move.


----------



## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

Becky_dime said:


> Yeah that’s true. I was skeptical about meeting him because he showed some red flags. Telling me he loved me , which was strange. Blocking me because I wouldn’t reply back fast enough.


Until I read this I would have said he's just a creepy wannabe player. This screamed 'run'. 

A love struck high school boy may get some leeway re this kind of behavior, but an adult man, it's just disturbing.

I hope you'll trust your first instincts in the future. I would say forget this wacko and move on.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Quad73 said:


> Until I read this I would have said he's just a creepy wannabe player. This screamed 'run'.
> 
> A love struck high school boy may get some leeway re this kind of behavior, but an adult man, it's just disturbing.
> 
> I hope you'll trust your first instincts in the future. I would say forget this wacko and move on.


Exactly !!! We’re in are 20s. He claims that the reason why he kept chasing me, was because he hates starting over ?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Becky_dime said:


> Exactly !!! We’re in are 20s. He claims that the reason why he kept chasing me, was because he hates starting over ?


This piece of info may be irrelevant if you're lucky, but one thing profilers know about stalker type personalities is the more time they invest, the harder they are to get rid of.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> This piece of info may be irrelevant if you're lucky, but one thing profilers know about stalker type personalities is the more time they invest, the harder they are to get rid of.


I don’t think he’s a stalker. He hasn’t tried to contact me


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

He is not a creep or a weirdo... he sounds deranged to me.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> He is not a creep or a weirdo... he sounds deranged to me.


Explain??


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Becky_dime said:


> Explain??


What is there to explain? Do you think his behaviour is normal? He sounds crazy to me.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> What is there to explain? Do you think his behaviour is normal? He sounds crazy to me.


Nope I don’t think it’s normal.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Becky_dime said:


> What about me looking in my purse, and when I look up at him he staring into my soul?


How do you know he was staring into your soul??


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> How do you know he was staring into your soul??


Well that’s what it felt like. 
I looked up at him after fixing my purse, and he was staring into my eyes so Intensely. Like a men stare


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Becky_dime said:


> Well that’s what it felt like.
> I looked up at him after fixing my purse, and he was staring into my eyes so Intensely. Like a men stare


Like a mean stare?


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Like a mean stare?


Yes


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Like a mean stare?


I was also checking my phone, and when I looked up a little he was staring at me very close to my face, like a very deep angry stare


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Becky_dime said:


> I was also checking my phone, and when I looked up a little he was staring at me very close to my face, like a very deep angry stare


That's the answer. Just let the whole thing go. No use even spending another thought on the episode.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> That's the answer. Just let the whole thing go. No use even spending another thought on the episode.


Just from your personal view why do you think he never reached out ?


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Becky_dime said:


> Just from your personal view why do you think he never reached out ?


Nothing more serious than after meeting just decided you two were incompatible. Nothing more, nothing less. A minor thing in your life. Time to close it out.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Nothing more serious than after meeting just decided you two were incompatible. Nothing more, nothing less. A minor thing in your life. Time to close it out.


That’s perfectly normal ! That’s what first dates are for. It should’ve been that though. On the way back to my car, don’t rub my legs why your driving and don’t touch my face why your driving. If we weren’t compatible end the date. Which he did but don’t do all of that touching once you end the date.


----------



## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> If you never hear from him again, he decided against you
> Maybe he didn't consider you responsive enough.


He is a flake, run away fast.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Update …. He requested to follow me on Instagram??????


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Why don't you just block this weirdo on all social media and your phone? Problem solved.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Prodigal said:


> Why don't you just block this weirdo on all social media and your phone? Problem solved.


Why did he try to add me on Instagram? After doing all of that ?


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Why are YOU allowing this creep to rent space in your head? What do you want to accomplish by asking questions about someone you don't want a relationship with? 

The guy is a loser. Why spend your time wondering what a loser thinks and what motivates him? C'mon ... let it go already!

ETA: And how the hell would we know why a complete, total stranger does anything? If you don't know - and you went out with him - how would we know?


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Prodigal said:


> Why are YOU allowing this creep to rent space in your head? What do you want to accomplish by asking questions about someone you don't want a relationship with?
> 
> The guy is a loser. Why spend your time wondering what a loser thinks and what motivates him? C'mon ... let it go already!
> 
> ETA: And how the hell would we know why a complete, total stranger does anything? If you don't know - and you went out with him - how would we know?


He made another account. He was blocked on all platforms


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Yeah, so what? You're posting here, not him. Why keep asking questions about why he does this or that? 

If you blocked him on everything, and he made another account, just block him again. The guy is a freak. Block him and keep blocking him. He'll get the picture and (hopefully) move on to annoying someone else.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

So you might want to recant now what you said about he wasn't a stalker when I brought it up. Stalkers have a high risk of being dangerous.


----------



## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

You keep trying to rationalize his irrational behavior. By repeating this, YOU are starting to become irrational. 

Stop, for the sake of your own mental health. 

Stop asking why he's doing this or that. None of it matters. Crazy people exist, and that's the long and the short of it. 

Take this as a very important lesson, move on with your best life, and please do it quickly.


----------



## Becky_dime (12 mo ago)

Quad73 said:


> You keep trying to rationalize his irrational behavior. By repeating this, YOU are starting to become irrational.
> 
> Stop, for the sake of your own mental health.
> 
> ...


Im just updating y’all. Im talking to someone new now. I just thought you guys wanted some updates that’s all


----------

