# Is a massage a big deal?



## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Whenever me and my SO are lounging around together I kind of habitually start rubbing her legs or back because (1) I like doing nice things for her and (2) it's not a chore by any means to have my hands moving over her body. 

She thinks she's being spoiled because apparently many of her girlfriends don't get the same treatment. What I do usually leads to sex because she likes it that much.

Why are massages considered a chore by some? Do you get them often? I might just be bragging but it really is fun for me to do them for her and it's 100% not a chore.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Brag on ......intimacy and sharing touch is wonderful for a marriage, particularly when both enjoy receiving that type of touch and caring. No doubt your SO also plays a part in keeping you wanting to massage her. 

Is massage a big deal? Well, that's up to the couple to answer but I'd suggest the 'big deal' is that you're meeting each others needs. Nice one!


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I suspect a lot of women deal with a lack of non-sexual physical touch from their male partners. On average, men don't usually have a high need for non-sexual affection/touch. It's a more common need for women. Many people don't think to meet a need for their partner that they don't personally have. I think a lot of guys don't think to provide non-sexual touch unless asked specifically, because it's just not personally important to them.

I know I had to ask specifically for hand holding, hugs without overt groping, cuddling, massages, and to have my hair brushed. My ex-husband didn't need those things, so he didn't really think to do them unless I asked. He would usually do those things for me if prompted - at least after our MC had a serious come-to-Jesus with him about it.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I have been told often from the age of 15 that I am good at giving massages, yet for a number of years now except when asked I don't offer massages anymore.

The reason why I don't offer massages anymore is because my hands start to hurt while giving them. This can be a real problem, since I need pain free hands for the work I do.

So my wife now gets a sometimes abbreviated massage perhaps twice every three weeks. If it didn't hurt me to massage her I would offer it more often.

As to hand holding, hugs and all the rest I have never been shy in that area with any of my partners. I haven't tried brushing my wife's hair though, so I might give that a go if she is interested. Thanks for the tip Rowan.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm with you ntamph. I love massaging my wife and it does lead to sex quite often with her initiating. It seems a little bizarre to me that all men wouldn't enjoy rubbing their ladies up and down.

I'm getting steamed just thinking about it.&#55357;&#56833;&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

I love , loove massages !!!

The touch whether rough or soft just feels soo good  how can one not get into the mood after a massage  !!!??? 

Candles , lavender scented oils and a lock door hhmmm !!!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ntamph said:


> Whenever me and my SO are lounging around together I kind of habitually start rubbing her legs or back because (1) I like doing nice things for her and (2) it's not a chore by any means to have my hands moving over her body.
> 
> She thinks she's being spoiled because apparently many of her girlfriends don't get the same treatment. What I do usually leads to sex because she likes it that much.
> 
> Why are massages considered a chore by some? Do you get them often? I might just be bragging but it really is fun for me to do them for her and it's 100% not a chore.


Yeah, I don't get it either. I'll rub pretty much any part of Mrs. Gus pretty much whenever she wants. I especially like rubbing her feet.

Hell, most of the time I don't even bother asking her. I'll just grab her feet and start rubbing.

And then working my way up.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I wouldn't call it "massage", but my hubby has his hands on me all the time and he is rubbing and grabbing me, all over my body, really big grabs full of various body parts. It is heavenly and definitely makes my body all warm and fuzzy and feeling sexual. 

A couple things though...

1. Not all people like to be touched, especially deep in their tissues. For instance, my mother would jump through the ceiling if you grabbed her thigh and squeezed it. She would feel pain combined with ticklishness, and it would be so very unpleasant even if a lover were doing it. So I don't think the type of massage-grabby-touching is a favorite for everyone, and that's ok, you know? Some people are just easily "goosed" and can't handle that type of touch.

2. For those who do like being touched like that and doing the touching, women aren't just receivers of this. My husband also wants to be touched and grabbed. He wants my hands roaming and loving his body the same way his are loving mine. He taught me how to give back in this area, and I love it now, too. I was definitely never this hands-on with any previous lover, but now I understand how wonderful it feels to grab big handfuls of his muscles or his ass or thighs and thoroughly examine them with my hands. Yum!


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I don't like being massaged, so it wouldn't work for me. I like being stroked and hugged and groped though, and that's what I get.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Funnily enough, I have never liked being massaged either.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

My husband and I both love sexual and non-sexual touch. He loves when I massage his feet, back, scalp... putty in my hands, he loves it. And I taught him how to massage so he knows how to get the knots in my back and gives an amazing foot rub. We both enjoy the giving and receiving. Massage doesn't necessarily equate to sexy-time for me. 

There's a beautiful intimacy to be found in touch. I have a soft-spot for when he brushes my hair. It doesn't happen often but I absolutely melt. When my hair is tied up, he'll gently kiss the back of my neck and I love that. He loves when I randomly hug or spontaneously snog him. Grabbing of the ass also speaks to us both lol.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

OP, if you find something that makes your SO feel great.....and other men fail to enjoy it or do so to their wives, you found a golden gem. This is something that will always come to your wife's mind when her "girls" are talking smack about men.......she will think "man, these women have some crappy men in their lives, thank god for my hubby".

Keep it up. Tell your wife that she is the most important thing in your life and you will do whatever it is that makes her happy. 

Funny you said that. Just last night I bent my wife over and was giving her a massage as I was penetrating her. She loved it!!! Will have to do it more often.

But leg rubs, back rubs, neck rubs, foot rubs etc is something that we both do to each other on regular basis (almost daily).

Good work! Keep it up!!!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

ntamph said:


> She thinks she's being spoiled because apparently many of her girlfriends don't get the same treatment.


You are definitely on the right track.
A whole lot of couples forget or just unaware of how powerful touch is .

Samantha Fox - Touch Me.

_" Hot and cold emotions
Confusing my brain
I could not decide
Between pleasure and pain.."_
~Samantha Fox.

It is good when a man know exactly_ how_ to touch his woman.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Rowan said:


> I suspect a lot of women deal with a lack of non-sexual physical touch from their male partners. On average, men don't usually have a high need for non-sexual affection/touch. It's a more common need for women. Many people don't think to meet a need for their partner that they don't personally have. I think a lot of guys don't think to provide non-sexual touch unless asked specifically, because it's just not personally important to them.
> 
> I know I had to ask specifically for hand holding, hugs without overt groping, cuddling, massages, and to have my hair brushed. My ex-husband didn't need those things, so he didn't really think to do them unless I asked. He would usually do those things for me if prompted - at least after our MC had a serious come-to-Jesus with him about it.


Men who have sex get most of the "touch" and "closeness" they need during the consumation.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

This is something we've slipped on since our youngest was born. We both enjoy it. I don't think it's a chore to give and definitely love to receive. We used to do it more but with such an age gap with our kids, (oldest goes to bed late and youngest doesn't sleep through the night) this one went on the back-burner... we both prioritize actual sex, sneaking it in around our two kids' sleeping schedules... I think we'll have to sneak in some more massaging too. Good reminder OP.


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## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

I love touching, caressing, holding... even just leaning on each other or putting your legs across is nice. Feeling someone playing with your hair or running a hand or finger along part of you feels great to me, so I don't mind doing it for someone else either.

It doesn't have to lead to sex either, the tingly feeling alone is great when someone knows just the right spot.

A friend of mine introduced me to those head messagers (it looks like an inside-out umbrella frame) and OMG it's so relaxing, but it only works best if you have someone else do it, someone who varies the movement and doesn't just pump it up and down like they're churning butter. We'd take it in turns to massage the other's head and would be ready to doze off afterwards.


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## Sunburn (Jul 9, 2012)

I wouldn't give Marsellus Wallace's wife a massage, no way.


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## lordfire00 (Jun 28, 2014)

I do this with my wife...ill come home from work..and shortly after ill massage my wife almost head to toe "daily"....

Even when she has a headache ...ill massage her to get rid of headache. I dont get any of this in return. And alot of times its almost a war to try and lead it up to sex. She use to do some of this to me....just a little.. Now she like takes it for granted. And when i use to do this...sometimes she would initiate sex. I know there are many women out there that would love to be in my wifes shoes with me. How does all of this get taken for granted?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

I bought wifey a massage table for iur wedding. Twelve years later she still gets her massages.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I havent had one in years, im about ready to go pay someone to give me a massage. My back hurts all the time.


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