# toxic inlaws. 5 love languages



## Deepdivered (Dec 14, 2011)

my wife has written off her family. she had met with a councelor with me to talk about the rape that happened to her when she was a teenager. during one of the meeting we talked about her family and how they where so negative to her growing up and how she was raised by her grand parents because her dad was no good. she also talked to him about how they live a life style she does not approve of and does not want to be a part of. he advised her to cut them off and not allow them to tear her down any more. I agreed and supported her. she tried here and there to make something of her relation ship with her dad and after a couple tries wrote him off. 

well its been about 4 years now and we have one kid and a second on the way. I just finished reading the five love languages and started thinking about him. lately he has mad a few attempts to contact use and talks very nice and has hinted he wants to be in our daughters life. I started thinking what if her dad does love her and she him but they just didn't know how to show it right. like they where not speaking there love language. I think both of them want to have a good family but do not know where or how to start. 

I noticed there are many books from gary the author of the 5 love languages. has he writen one that can work for there situation? or any books you can think of that may help? my idea is to send it to him with a letter of how she felt and how we are willing to work on it and that we think the book can help.

lastly what should we do if we do start seeing him. he lives far away and comes down to our area for xmas etc. we don't like to go cuss 2 reasons. 1 the hurt her whole family gave her and 2 they drink and smoke and have crude conversations and we don't live that way and it makes us feel uncomfortable. so if things work out that we start to try and include him in our life how do we deal with that?


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## Deepdivered (Dec 14, 2011)

any response is welcome. your opinion on situation, book recommendation, other ideas on how to aproch the situation. thanks


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