# Are meds a good idea?



## Octavia4 (Sep 30, 2015)

Has anyone here taken any prescription medication to deal with a divorce? Was it a good idea?

I am going through a painful divorce from my partner of 10 years. I'm crying a lot and stressed about finances.There's a lot to be done as far as legal work, moving the last of my things out of the house, dividing assets, etc. When I feel angry, I use it to motivate me to get things done. When I feel sad, I often feel so overwhelmed with end up paralyzed by indecision and apathy. I have trouble shutting off my thoughts enough to get to sleep at a decent hour. I know that exercise is supposed to help, but honestly I am so depressed and tired at the end of most days, exercise seems more like torture than stress relief. Also, I haven't had much of an appetite, so so worries about gaining weight. Friends who have divorced have told me they either got antidepressants, anti-anxiety, or sleeping pills - temporarily - to help them cope with it. 

I'm very reluctant to go the antidepressant route - my mom tried some different ones and had some pretty scary side effects. But I am considering others. One of my friends let me borrow a couple of leftover Ambien from her divorce. They worked wonderfully. I have been able to get 8 hours of sleep at a time and have been more productive when I get a good night's sleep. I'm thinking about going to my own doctor for a prescription. I haven't ever used sleeping pills before and am worried that they might be habit-forming.


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## 1stTime (Oct 14, 2015)

I would probably avoid Ambien. It is extremely habit forming and has pretty nasty side effects if taken over a long period of time. I would look at something like Melatonin if you are having trouble getting to sleep.

I have been taking Welbutrin XL for the past month or so, while going through the divorce. It has definitely helped me take the edge off the highs and lows. I still have moments of despair and crying, but they are becoming less and less frequent. That could be either because Im getting over it, or the medicine is helping, probably a little of both.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

The thing is everyone responds differently, that's why they don't work for everyone. My ex could pop Ativan like tic-tacs with very little effect. My best friend takes a half a pill only when she's close to being hysterical. It is worth going to your MD to discuss your anxiety and maybe get some guidance for non-pharmaceutical ways to relieve stress and anxiety.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

STAY OFF THE MEDS AND BOOZE IF YOU CAN!!!! There are no short cuts and you will still have to grieve at some point. Those emotions are also there to HELP YOU!!! To detatch naturally, to look deep within your soul. To grow!!! Embrace them!! DUDE

Is Mourning Madness?

The wrongheaded movement to classify grief as a mental disorder.

By Leeat Granek and Meghan O'Rourke
A woman looking sad. 
Grief is a profound emotional process with very real biological symptoms that can endure for months
Photograph by ThinkStock.

Is grief a disease? That is one of the crucial questions psychologists are asking as the American Psychiatric Association revamps its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), used by millions of mental health professionals to diagnose patients, for a fifth edition due out in 2013.

A group of psychiatrists have spearheaded a movement to include ongoing grief as a disorder, to be labeled “complicated” or “prolonged grief.” Others have proposed, separately, that a mourner can be labeled clinically depressed only two weeks after the loss of a loved one. The problem with both potential changes is that more people’s grief will be diagnosed as abnormal or extreme, in a culture that already leads mourners to feel they need to just “get over it” and “heal.”

In January, more than 10,000 mental health professionals, concerned about the credibility of the science behind several proposed additions to the manual, including the potential addition of complicated grief, have signed a petition calling for an “independent review” of the DSM-5. Their concerns are worth taking seriously. Grief, even the ostensibly extreme variety that the DSM might include, is a universal and normal human reaction to the loss of a loved one. Unlike most disorders in the manual, it is a condition we will all experience. It is not a disease and it has no place in a book dedicated to listing mental disorders. In a culture that has largely turned grief into a private experience rather than a communal one, the decision to include grief in the DSM risks doing more harm than good, making it easier than ever to view those who are simply experiencing a painful rite of passage as abnormal.


Complicated grief and the DSM: The wrongheaded movement to list mourning as a mental disorder.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

My advice would be to go to a reputable Therapist/ Psychologist and have two - three sessions with them. They will recommend a reputable Psychiatrist who will determine what is the appropriate medication for you. I would not go to a General Practitioner or Internist for a diagnosis or a medication prescription for something emotional. Just my two cents.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

1stTime said:


> I would probably avoid Ambien. It is extremely habit forming and has pretty nasty side effects if taken over a long period of time. I would look at something like Melatonin if you are having trouble getting to sleep.
> 
> I have been taking Welbutrin XL for the past month or so, while going through the divorce. It has definitely helped me take the edge off the highs and lows. I still have moments of despair and crying, but they are becoming less and less frequent. That could be either because Im getting over it, or the medicine is helping, probably a little of both.


You do realize the despair and crying is there to help you not hurt you? I get it if you can't work because of it, but if you can be couragious and tolerate the pain, the grief will actually repair you naturally. You might even learn something about yourself during your grief journey. DUDE


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## Whenwillthepainend (Sep 1, 2015)

I debated going the antidepressant route but I have found that I have become stronger because of the feelings I am experiencing although it doesn't feel like it when I'm in a dip! I know you don't have the energy to exercise but my GP said that exercise is a natural antidepressant, with no side effects. I am terrified of the side effects of medication so I choose exercise and meditation every time! Although I do take beta blockers for my panic attacks but was on those before he left and will come off them when my CBT starts kicking in  Exercise and mediation really helps my mind. Got to be worth a try before taking medication


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Think about it logically, you would be taking medication for mere FEELINGS...Does that make sense? DUDE


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

i agree with most of the above, including toughing it out and trying to avoid medication.

however, there can reach a point where you need help. that's just a fact. particularly if you feel suicidal.

go as long as you can without meds, do group therapy, find a support group and see a councilor if you can afford it.

but, when you reach a point where every breathing moment is a struggle and the depression physically hurts and you can't 
hardly work, then meds can be a great blessing.

back some years ago, after my brother died i fell into a terrible depression where i felt like i didn't even want to live.
i started getting strange physical ailments that doctors couldn't diagnose, as though my brothers death literally took a chunk 
of my body with him.

after months of struggle i got on prozac. within days, it took the worst of the edge off and eventually i could function again.
i was on it about 10 months and after i could actually laugh again, i self withdrew very slowly.

weird thing is, in the depths of my deepest depression, i wrote an essay on happiness.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

jorgegene said:


> i agree with most of the above, including toughing it out and trying to avoid medication.
> 
> however, there can reach a point where you need help. that's just a fact. particularly if you feel suicidal.
> 
> ...


AND THE JOY THAT CAN FILL UP A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN SEARED BY A TRAGEDY!!! That hole us cut deep to fill up with even more joy than ever before. The depression is to humble you and help you live for TODAY and to not give a rats a$$ about material items that matter NOT..DUDE


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## Whenwillthepainend (Sep 1, 2015)

I know that if I hadn't gotten any better emotionally I would have tried the antidepressant route. If you can't function no matter how much self help you try then you have to do what is best for you and your children. My GP said that exercise etc helps but only if you have the energy to do it. I got a prescription for antidepressants because I wasn't eating / not sleeping but just didn't have the courage to take them. My fear of them gave me a kick up the bum. I knew it was either take them or push myself. I still wouldn't write them off but I say try au natural and if no better and you're not functioning (not working, not eating, not sleeping etc etc) then try them. They do help a lot of people but they also cause a lot of side effects too. Everyone is different. I found cutting off my ex and purposely not thinking about him or what he is up to is such a help to me. I am a stress head and a worrier at the best of times but the only person I was hurting overthinking things was me and that had to stop.


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## Aroleid (Sep 20, 2015)

It's not my place to advice you which route to go. Just consider that your response to your situation is a normal one. Good emotional support, a great therapist, some Benadryl for the night, chamomile tea, learning relaxation techniques, and the acceptance of your pain are good starters. Neither will numb your pain, but make it present enough for you to deal with it in a healthy way. 

The medications that have been mentioned in this post have potentially more side effects than most divorces may justify. Meaning, they could potentially worsen your situation, by for instance, weight gain, nausea, nightmares, dependency, sleepwalking, increased anxiety, etc. 

Unless you are clinically depressed, or have been diagnosed with another disorder, your discomfort is situational, and bound to get better over time. There just isn't any instant gratification, and your ability to adapt gets seriously challenged.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

So you learned to cope?


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## Riptide (Nov 2, 2015)

Like all of us here we feel your pain and sorry you are going through this. It is one of the worse things a person can go through, right up there with a death of loved one which it kind of is. There is no shame in taking sleeping meds to get you to calm down at night. I needed them for a couple of weeks then stopped taking them as I learned to cope. Antidepressants should be considered but first you need to get yourself a support system and someone to talk to on a regular basis. This forum will also be helpful for that. Also, get out there and be active.
Exercise , jogging can do wonders for your self esteem and is an effective release. Do not discount that at all. Get out of the house when you start feeling dragged down. Moping around the house is the worse thing to do. Look at ways to reinvent yourself and slowly you will start seeing a positive outlook. That will take time so do not get discouraged when your emotions seem to bounce around and you think you are in a good place only to find you have bad days once in a while. It is all part of the process and the initial few months are the hardest. Is medication a bad idea? No, but try some of the other things that were suggested above and by other posters. If you find yourself still having difficulty in coping, do seek medical attention but as others have mentioned, not everyone deals with medications the same and some people have had to try different types before finding the right one and some have side effects that need to be considered.


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