# A few worries about having 2nd child, maybe overthinking it?



## yellowstar (Jun 18, 2012)

Husband I have been married for 7yrs and have one child.

We want to have another child, like getting pregnant within the next year.

The past couple of months we have been bickering, not communicating well etc. We have been going to marriage counseling.

At first I thought it wasn't helping because we were arguing more, but now I see BOTH of us putting in a lot more effort and things seem better. A lot of our struggles are being stressed from work, probably not getting enough sleep, not thinking about how our words affect the other, communication, etc. 

So through this it made me worry about having this 2nd kid. I definitely want to and have faith in our marriage, but I guess because of all the fighting in the last month, it really kind of opened my eyes to learn how to fix this or make it better so we don't argue as much (or as loudly).

Just wondering if anyone else has felt like this. A part of me says, have some faith, things will never be perfect and just let go a little and look at the age gap between kids already (more than I wanted it to be). The other part of me says be 100% sure, really think through this...99% of the time I know my husband is the right person for me. That 1% of the time make me waver...

Anyways, anybody else feel like this?


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## anxiousbones (Sep 9, 2012)

That sounds exactly like me & my husband about a week before we got pregnant with our second child! Sometimes deciding to try for a baby is the least-logical choice you can make. As long as you're not trying to get pregnant to "fix" the marriage, I don't think it's a bad idea. Having our second baby made our family feel complete, and gave our first child a lifelong friend, and so many other positives. Yes, it's stressful adding another person to the mix, but I wouldn't change a thing. I bet you'll say that a year from now.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

If you're not ready, you're not ready and there's nothing wrong in waiting. On the other hand, there is no perfect time to have a baby. Fifty percent of all babies aren't planned and I think even the most planned, thought out baby is always a gamble because there are no guarantees in life that any marriage is fit to last.

That being said, take my advice with a grain of salt. My little "surprise" (2nd child) is coming at the worst possible timing. But I think things happen for a reason and either way, it's going to be alright.


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