# Old girl



## Ye5true2 (Jan 17, 2021)

Hello
I have been married for 10 years. So 2 years into our marriage, I found out my husband was talking to this girl. He would text her and call her. Meanwhile he can't even hold a conversation with me on the phone for 5 minutes. So we resolve that issue, so I thought. So the way I found out that he was talking to this girl. I went on our phone plan and I could see who he was talking to and texting. So I noticed this same number keep popping up every day every hour. Of course he denied it.

Flash Forward to today, Something told me go and look at our phone plan again. The same number pops up on his text messages. Now I told myself I would trust him and not look at who he was talking to. Well I look today and I was so mad. I have no idea what to so with that information I saw. Someone please help. Should I bring it up. I let go of every ex-guy I was talking to. But him he still talling to her. If you have any advice please help. Also I do not want him to know I went snooping on our phone plan, looking at his line.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Be honest with him. Tell him that you know he’s been texting that other woman and it must stop or you are going to tell both of your families and friends what he is doing. You should also tell him that you plan on leaving if it doesn’t stop. That what I would do if I were in your shoes.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

While youre at it, ask him why he's texting this broad and is what he's getting out of it worth what its doing to you and his marriage.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Have you looked to see how long its been happening this second time? How often are the texts?


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## pbj2016 (May 7, 2017)

You should not feel bad about snooping. Trust even between spouses is earned. You should ask him why he disrespects you so much.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

The trust is gone due to his behavior.

tell him if he doesn’t stop ALL contact with her you’re divorcing him! He’s having an affair. Time to show him the result of his actions = divorce!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Rarely is it only talking. 
ultimatum time.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Ye5true2 said:


> I have been married for 10 years. So 2 years into our marriage, I found out my husband was talking to this girl. He would text her and call her. Meanwhile he can't even hold a conversation with me on the phone for 5 minutes. So we resolve that issue, so I thought. So the way I found out that he was talking to this girl. I went on our phone plan and I could see who he was talking to and texting. So I noticed this same number keep popping up every day every hour. Of course he denied it.


By "resolved it," you mean *you* chose to eat the **** sandwich Prince Charming had served up to you.



> Flash Forward to today, Something told me go and look at our phone plan again. The same number pops up on his text messages. Now I told myself I would trust him and not look at who he was talking to. Well I look today and I was so mad. I have no idea what to so with that information I saw. Someone please help. Should I bring it up. I let go of every ex-guy I was talking to. But him he still talling to her. If you have any advice please help. Also I do not want him to know I went snooping on our phone plan, looking at his line.


What a shocker. Your absolutely *passive* decision to eat **** sandwiches while he continues to disrespect you is what you CHOSE to do years ago, OP. And it's what you're *continuing* to do now, actually asking if you "should bring it up."

I'm also guessing you think this lying degenerate hasn't *continually* cheated on you for the last 10 years. Man, denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Something tells me even when you DO find out you married a serial cheater, you'll continue to eat those **** sandwiches.

It drives me crazy when women refuse to open their eyes.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

He is clearly enjoying the connection with his old girlfriend. Why?

Burying this will eat you alive. You need to come out with it. Cheaters #1 defense is to call their spouses controlling. This won't stop until you lay down something serious, like separation/divorce. 

So when you do confront him, you better be ready to come at him with a serious threat. One you will back up if needed.

Anything short of this and it will never stop.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Ye5true2 said:


> Hello
> I have been married for 10 years. So 2 years into our marriage, I found out my husband was talking to this girl. He would text her and call her. Meanwhile he can't even hold a conversation with me on the phone for 5 minutes. So we resolve that issue, so I thought. So the way I found out that he was talking to this girl. I went on our phone plan and I could see who he was talking to and texting. So I noticed this same number keep popping up every day every hour. Of course he denied it.
> 
> Flash Forward to today, Something told me go and look at our phone plan again. The same number pops up on his text messages. Now I told myself I would trust him and not look at who he was talking to. Well I look today and I was so mad. I have no idea what to so with that information I saw. Someone please help. Should I bring it up. I let go of every ex-guy I was talking to. But him he still talling to her. If you have any advice please help. Also I do not want him to know I went snooping on our phone plan, looking at his line.


It looks like he is in a long term emotional affair with this woman and really cares little for what you think of him. You went snooping because your gut was telling you something was not right, and you were right. So as his wife you have every right to snoop considering. He lost the privelege of privacy rights based on his history and current activities and you tell him that!

1. make sure you have the full evidence before confronting him
2. Then do the 180 on him completely to detach from him emotionally. Tell him before this that he has no respect for you, no time for you and therefore you will act accordingly. Do nothing for him, no cooking, washing, conversation, sex, nothing. Tell him if he wants to be in a relationship with this woman, then go ahead but don't come back. You need to play hard ball. he has been lying to you for years now. if he chooses to come clean, then consider listening to his 'story' and make him take a lie detector test. Go scorched earth!
3. Go and see a lawyer as to your options
4. Tell all your family and friends about what he has been doing, share the details and the evidence.
5. Does this OW have a partner/.husband? If so reach out the them and tell them what you have found out
6. get yourself into counselling to help you cope with his **** and rely on one or two close friends
7. Are your financially self sufficient? Do you have a job? Do you have kids, (hope not).
8. start living your life as if he were not in it. Join a woman's group, book club, gym whatever to get you out of the house.
How old are you? If you are only married 10 years then this is not something you should be putting up with at all. Put an end to that, be decisive, no begging, pleading, crying, etc.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

This speaks to a level of commitment that one does not get via casual connections. To converse with someone this regularly and in such volume, there has to be more than just chatting about the weather/sports/etc. 

As an example, I just messaged a former female coworker today. The entire exchange was 8 messages (4 her, 4 me) and it consisted of my asking if she had contact information for a professional colleague. If there was more to this, we would have chatted for hours. We had not spoken in 5 years. 

If you want your marriage to not have a deep dark secret lurking in the background, its best just to show your hand. Yeah, so you looked at the phone plan. Your intuition came first and was validated.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

What would he say if you started texting a past ex before him. In front of him, smiling a coy little smile or giggle at the texts. If he asks say, "Just a friend" If he gets upset i would say ,"You dont have the right! You text your ex-bimbo, ill text my ex-stud" Heck it can be a girlfriend listed under past ex's name. See is he gets his panties in a wad. Perfect time to say, now you know how it feels.


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