# growing apart



## justwantaconnection (Jul 17, 2011)

My wife and I have been together 25 years but our differences, which were for so long a great strength in our relationship, are now becoming so great I'm finding the relationship increasingly unfulfilling. 
My wife does a sport involving horses that uses up huge amounts of her time and volunteers as a gym coach in the off season (nett result: 19 of the 26 weekends of this year she has been away). When she's home during the week I just see the back of her head as she types articles for the above.
I'm into gym training and personal growth - she doesn't feel the need to "look at her ****". What frustrates me the most is she won't let me in - won't share her fears, dreams or fantasies with me. She says she doesn't have any, but I feel she just suppresses everything because she's been hurt in previous relationships.
Whenever I try and talk things out with her its like we're speaking different languages. I lay out everything I feel and where I'm frustrated and I get nothing meaningful back. I feel like I'm talking into a void. 
How do you get across to someone we have a major problem when they don't thing they have any?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I would 1st rule out infidelity. Right now its unthinkable for you to even go down that road, but what if there was someone else influencing the marriage? You could start there.

I does sound like she has to much on her plate and is not excepting that the full plate is going to ruin her marriage. Thats why I suspect another influence. One would think that if she was scared of losing the man she loves (her husband) then a greater effort would be made in repairing it.

Could it be possible that at the very least she is in an emotional fog that is effecting her behavior? If she is envlolved with some one don't ask her she will lie, find out for your self and hope that it can be ruled out as an obstical in repairing the marriage. Then you can focus on another avenue.


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