# Don’t Let a Live-In Senior Family Member Strain Your Marriage



## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

At a certain point, many married couples take a senior family member into their home because they cannot care for themselves or because they simply want to be closer with family. Making this kind of change to your household can cause a great deal of stress, however, which many couples don’t think about. Follow these tips to maintain harmony in your household while still giving your live-in senior family member the care he or she needs.

*Tips for Keeping the Peace with a Live-In Senior*

As your parents age, they may have trouble living on their own and you may need to think about bringing them into your home. Before you do, however, consider how this change might affect your marriage and take some simple steps to prevent the situation from putting a strain on your relationship.

*1. Understand that the situation affects the whole family*. Even if you are shouldering the burden of caring for a senior family member, you need to be aware of how the situation affects your whole family. As your parent comes to need more and more care, your spouse or partner may have to take up the slack in other areas. 

*2. Talk about the financial repercussions before it becomes a problem*. Bringing another person into your household can put a strain on your finances and financial stress is one of the biggest causes for conflict in a marriage. Talk with your partner about the level of financial responsibility you plan to take on for your parent and come up with a plan to make sure your family doesn’t suffer financially.

*3. Make an effort to keep your marriage strong*. The more time you spend caring for your senior family member, the less time you will have to spend with your spouse or partner and quality time is essential for keeping a marriage strong. Be open and honest with your spouse to make sure that they do not feel neglected and set aside some time for the two of you to spend together each week. 

*4. Don’t feel like you have to do it alone. *Even if it is your parent that is moving in, caring for that parent should not be your responsibility alone – let your family help you in whatever ways they can. Shifting some of the burden onto other shoulders will help to prevent you from becoming bitter or overworked, both of which can put a strain on your marriage. 

*5. Recognize that the situation isn’t permanent.* It is sad but true that eventually your senior family member will no longer be with you. If the situation starts to have a negative effect on your marriage, talk with your spouse about ways to ease the strain and recognize that the situation will not last forever. 

Taking a senior family member into your home is a wonderful thing to do, but it can also be extremely challenging and stressful. The best thing you can do to keep the situation from putting a strain on your marriage is to be open in communication with your spouse or partner and to share the burden.

~ Glen Community Support


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Even if the Senior isn't living under your roof and you're helping care for him / her in their own home, it can put a strain on your relationship.

Elderly people can often feel insecure and manipulate their families by telling 'fibs' as a means of getting attention. This can result in rifts and ill-feelings with couples and in families, and it's essential that couples / families agree to discuss and deal with these matters as and when they arise.


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## m00nman (Nov 29, 2014)

Great advice! 

In a way this applies to having a special needs child as well - though item #5 may not really apply if there's no physical problems.


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