# wife watches lesbian porn and it's freaking me out



## nordicwarrior (Oct 29, 2015)

I caught my wife watching lesbian porn and when I confronted her about it, she said she is 100% straight but just enjoys watching naked women.

that does not compute with me however.

I myself am a straight male and have no desire to watch other men.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Women are sexier to watch than men. Maybe she is bi curious? Definitely worth a discussion, but unless there are other factors you haven't mentioned, I suggest watching with her and enjoying it.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

nordicwarrior said:


> I caught my wife watching lesbian porn and when I confronted her about it, she said she is 100% straight but just enjoys watching naked women.
> 
> that does not compute with me however.
> 
> I myself am a straight male and have no desire to watch other men.


Why not watch it WITH her?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Typically, There seems to be a big double standard with this. When a man watches gay porn it's usually a big deal but when a woman does it's sexy and you should just roll with it...

Personally, if my guy was watching gay porn I would have a huge issue with it.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Some men can't stand the idea of sharing their woman with anyone else even another woman! Many others fantasize about a threesome with another woman but can't deal with the same with another man. I prefer men like you. You don't share or get off of the thought of doing so!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

inarut said:


> Typically, There seems to be a big double standard with this. When a man watches gay porn it's usually a big deal but when a woman does it's sexy and you should just roll with it...
> 
> Personally, if my guy was watching gay porn I would have a huge issue with it.


Eh... it's not really a double-standard, per se.

Many straight women enjoy (what's commonly marketed as) lesbian porn.

Most straight guys aren't into any porn involving gay or bi males. As in at all.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Then there Are those who don't care at all ...men, women, whatever ...just pass her around....lovely isn't it....


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

It's 100% a double standard


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

inarut said:


> Then there Are those who don't care at all ...men, women, whatever ...just pass her around....lovely isn't it....


Uhhh... what?!?

Seriously, I don't get what you're saying.



inarut said:


> It's 100% a double standard


How?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
If your sex life is good, then I don't think it matters at all what type of (legal) porn she watches. If your sex life is bad, then it is worth asking if her porn watching could be the cause of that.

If I caught my wife watching lesbian porn she would be in for a severe tongue-lashing :wink2:


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Most men are turned on by the idea and would love for their wives to fulfill this fantasy! Don't feel bad or wrong for not wanting that! You will fulfill many women's fantasy of having a man who would not share her with anyone... Male or female .... Trust me


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I'm guessing your chick like getting oral......for some reason it has to do with having someone going down on her....you will find more porn with chicks going down on chicks then you will find guys going down on chicks. its a industry standard where the chick is going down on the guy. (it's a male based industry)
One might find 30 seconds of a guy eating a chick,,,but several minutes the other way around...like wise with girl girl. 

In short there is more shots of girls going down on girls then guys going down on girls, so if your chicks likes watching that kind of thing, she doesn't have many option other then girl girl porn.

That's what Mrs. the guy says.
she would like to add.... receiving oral is way better then watch some chick getting oral


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

When looking for porn you can find anything you want. If what your looking for is a man giving oral to a woman... No problem, it's there.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Your wife likes porn. Period.

Use it to your advantage.
Use it to her advantage.

She is sending you a message.

Now both of you go have fun.

HM


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Google it if you don't believe me... Lol


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Happyman64.... Would you say the same thing to a woman who came here saying she caught her husband watching gay porn? I think not ....


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

What message do you think he might be sending?


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

What would you prefer she watched?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

For many men two women are a turn on. They want their SO to give them that fantasy. For most women not so. It's a turn off to think he wants another man sexually. And more so most women don't want there SO to WANT to share with anyone ....ale or female....HUGE TURN OFF.... The OP hasn't responded and I am turning this into a thread jack already .... My apologies.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

It is very common for women to enjoy not only lesbian porn but also gay men porn. Watching porn is an experience in arousal building and with porn, written or visual, whatever dirty things that turn us on can be vicariously experienced.

The female body is a stunning work of art. Watching lesbian porn allows a woman to not only become aroused but to also appreciate the female form.

OP, you need to chill. This isn't something to worry about unless you freaked out on her and now you're going to have to apologize and offer to watch some lesbian porn with her.

We all can become aroused by watching various forms of porn but it doesn't mean that we actually want to have that experience in real life.

You need to learn more about female sexuality and sexuality in general.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

inarut said:


> When looking for porn you can find anything you want. If what your looking for is a man giving oral to a woman... No problem, it's there.


 ya , but no matter how many time we define our search they seem to sneak in more girl girl then guy girl.
On top of that there seeems to be a mix of vids with some poor smuck with a leash around his neck and some mean looking witch pulling his hair into her crotch.

At the end of the day I think OP's old lady likes watching a women getting oral...not so much about *****'s.

But what the hell do I know.:grin2:


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## Mrtruth (Aug 20, 2015)

My wife watches porn when she is horney and I am not.....don't know what kind she watches.... Never asked her. Really don't care. She doesn't ask me what I watch when its the other way around.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:scratchhead:

This is normal, hence why I reckon most women are either bi-in-denial or bisexual by nature 

Anyway don't know why this is in the infidelity section, being bi-curious, bi-in-denial, or bisexual doesn't automatically mean she's going to cheat on you with a woman.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

If its a turn-off for OP....then he doesn't have to watch it. Who gets to say WHICH porn your partner watches? Guys watch guys screwing girls.... meaning that there is a naked guy there, getting serviced. OP didn't say whether he watches porn, or whether wifey approves of his porn choices. 

Doesn't that all sound ridiculous?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

To get back on track. Are their any other red flags that would indicate she is cheating?

Since you posted in the CWI section of this forum, I suspect there is more to the story...maybe a toxic friend, coming home late from work, maybe to many GNO?

If your wife is sleeping with her cell phone under her pillow...well then you have more to worry about then porn!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> :scratchhead:
> 
> This is normal, hence why I reckon most women are either bi-in-denial or bisexual by nature
> 
> Anyway don't know why this is in the infidelity section, being bi-curious, bi-in-denial, or bisexual doesn't automatically mean she's going to cheat on you with a woman.


 @RandomDude, me and you have been here a while....Something tells me there is more to the story then porn.

I ask again OP.....are there other red flags?


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Yeah it's unfortunate when partners have different attitudes about porn. No right or wrong here. But it is a marital conflict just like any other.

Tell her how you feel about it. Why it bothers you. In a marriage that's appropriate and expected. She, in turn, should tell you what she likes about it and why she is doing it if it bothers you.

Then figure out what to do about it. Maybe some sort of compromise.

But definitely talk about it.


For me I set up a tumblr site with a variety of crazy porn things that I find interesting - even if I don't actually want to do many of them (probably a common reaction to porn - weird what can be visually appealing might not be actually desirable). 

I showed some of it to my wife over time. She is way not into porn, but I did it in a safe way at the appropriate time. At sexy time our brains turn off some judgements that might otherwise make us reconsider the exchange of bodily fluids in some ways . Anyway, it was fun and good to express stuff and it's not a regular thing for us as a couple since it's not her thang. Point is you can feel differently about these things but still find compromised that set the other at ease.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

I don't know why it's in the infidelity section but I'm guessing he is questioning her sexuality. Does she prefer/ want women? Will she end up cheating with one?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

It's a legitimate question


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

And if it bothers him rather than turn him on he has a right to that too


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

I mean seriously, the women here, if you discovered your guy had a thing for guy on guy porn you really wouldn't have any thoughts or concerns about that??


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

inarut said:


> I don't know why it's in the infidelity section but I'm guessing he is questioning her sexuality. Does she prefer/ want women? Will she end up cheating with one?





inarut said:


> It's a legitimate question


No, it's not a legitimate question. It's a question born of ignorance about sexuality.

NSFW
5 Reasons Why Straight Women Like Lesbian Porn | HONESTLY NAKED


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Geez...5 reasons...one would think you only need one, but hey..the more reasons to like porn the better.

BTW, is Jerry Springer still on the air?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Are there people watching same sex porn that are not gay... Yes ....are there people watching gay porn that are gay or bisexual ...yes. Does he have a right to his feelings,thoughts, questions about it ....YES. I don't appreciate being called ignorant. Do you need to agree with me? NO.... 
No need to be insulting.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

inarut said:


> I mean seriously, the women here, if you discovered your guy had a thing for guy on guy porn you really wouldn't have any thoughts or concerns about that??


If you just randomly discovered it and had never talked about it with your man before, sure that would be a shock. But for people who are open about things and know this type of stuff about each other, it really is no biggie. Men like looking at penises. That's why porn geared toward straight guys ALWAYS has HUGE penises. If men didn't want to see penises, they would only watch porn of women, but as we know, this is not the case. The bigger penis the better for straight male porn AND gay porn. Gay male porn is interesting and full of penises. It isn't a big deal. They are just bodies, whether male or female. Sad people get so hung up about this.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

From the OPs post it seems it wasn't discussed and was a suprise. I'm not "hung up" I actually like guy on guy porn and I think women's bodies are beautiful but I don't want to be sexual with women. Even though I like guy porn, I am turned off by the idea of MY guy being sexually attracted to men. I would want to know if he was. Romanticly, I want a heterosexual.That's just me, everyone's different. To each there own, I don't judge. All I'm saying is the OP has a right to his questions and feelings about it, not to simply be dismissed.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I was responding to your post #31 to women, not to the OP. Your insinuation that all women would have a problem with this is incorrect.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

No, that's not what I meant. Not all women would have a problem with it but some will. I would venture to say that many men would not have a problem with it but some will. Seems the OP may be one who does.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Most importantly, it's ok to have questions and feelings about it. Apparently it wasn't discussed prior to marriage.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Whether it's a problem for someone or not it's not even a legitimate question???


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> Most straight guys aren't into any porn involving gay or bi males. As in at all.


Straight.... gay.... bi..... I don't care, I don't want to see any dude naked. I'll pass on anything other than solo women or women having fun together.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Why is this in the CWI section and not the Dreams can come true section? :smile2:


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

inarut said:


> Are there people watching same sex porn that are not gay... Yes ....are there people watching gay porn that are gay or bisexual ...yes. Does he have a right to his feelings,thoughts, questions about it ....YES. I don't appreciate being called ignorant. Do you need to agree with me? NO....
> No need to be insulting.


I didn't call you ignorant. 

Lesbian porn isn't even made for an actual lesbian audience. It's made for straight men and straight women. Did you read the link?


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

I'm guessing the fact that nordicwarrior posted in the CWI section, he's looking for points of view related to men that had found their wives/GFs watching woman on woman porn. How it ended up effecting their relationships. Did anyone find out that it was a precursor to their wife/GF cheating with an OW?

That's my guess, as he never really "asked" a question(or posted again) and there's been over 40 posts since. Most only debating the woman on woman porn itself. Not the more obvious topic of does he need to worry about this and how it will effect his relationship.

I don't have any personal experience, but I've read many posts here where a WW/WGF was cheating with another woman vs. the OM. I think that many men worry about this more than if their SO's were showing any kind of extra attention to a man.

Most guys start to learn the art of "c0ck blocking" from when they first started dating. How the hell do we head women off at the pass though?...

He has a valid concern. Unbeknownst to him, his wife has been watching girl-on-girl porn. She never watched before(that he knows of). And when she did start watching it, it was secretly.

Not bad on it's own, or by itself, but what else might she have been doing secretly?...

Some of use are telling him that it's no big deal. I have to wonder if he came her for the first time in 3 months saying he caught her sleeping with her female boss - How many of us would be tilling him that he should have got ahead of this when he first found out she was watching girl-on-girl porn?...

He concerned. Lets address his concern. Any male posters out there that have had their wives/GFs become attracted to, or interested in... Or worse, women, please chime in.


I just thought of something. Your post DDay of your wife/GF cheating on you with an OW. Now, do you say you're checking her phone for calls to women, but men are o.k.?...

This is why in many ways, I feel a same sex AP is a tougher go for the BS. It's like a monkey wrench wrapped in barbed wire.


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

inarut said:


> It's 100% a double standard


Viva la double standard!


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

I read it. My main point is if someone finds their SO is into same sex porn it would be normal to wonder about and ask about their interest in it and sexual preference/orientation. Does it mean they are gay/ bi, no. Is it a possibility they might be , yes. Not every man wants or desires a woman who sexually wants women. I get the impression the OP might be one of those men. In that case it wouldn't be appropriate to say he isn't asking a legitimate question or be told wow what a lucky guy you are!! Jump on that! From those who wish their SO were into such things.


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> No, it's not a legitimate question. It's a question born of ignorance about sexuality.
> 
> NSFW
> 5 Reasons Why Straight Women Like Lesbian Porn | HONESTLY NAKED


AP,

The OP came here for help because he has a concern about his W looking at lesbian porn. There is nothing wrong with that. If his concern is the result of his lack of knowledge about sexuality, there is nothing wrong with that either. All that matters is that he came here for help. The fact that he is seeking help and wishes to educate himself before deciding what to do is a very good thing, and he ought not to be chided for it.

Among other reasons, it is good because it has afforded you the opportunity of advising him and recommending resources that may help answer his question, and your advice is often very good.

You were on another thread recently, complaining about posters who are disrespectful. Maybe it would help you to reflect upon your own advice.


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

I'm straight and I like girl on girl and I like guy or guy I even like interracial porn..


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

inarut said:


> I read it. My main point is if someone finds their SO is into same sex porn it would be normal to wonder about and ask about their interest in it and sexual preference/orientation. Does it mean they are gay/ bi, no. Is it a possibility they might be , yes. Not every man wants or desires a woman who sexually wants women. I get the impression the OP might be one of those men. In that case it wouldn't be appropriate to say he isn't asking a legitimate question or be told wow what a lucky guy you are!! Jump on that! From those who wish their SO were into such things.


If my ex-bf wanted to watch guy on guy porn I wouldn't care.


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## CatJayBird (Oct 5, 2015)

the guy said:


> I'm guessing your chick like getting oral......for some reason it has to do with having someone going down on her....you will find more porn with chicks going down on chicks then you will find guys going down on chicks. its a industry standard where the chick is going down on the guy. (it's a male based industry)
> One might find 30 seconds of a guy eating a chick,,,but several minutes the other way around...like wise with girl girl.
> 
> In short there is more shots of girls going down on girls then guys going down on girls, so if your chicks likes watching that kind of thing, she doesn't have many option other then girl girl porn.
> ...


This.....


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

lovelyblue said:


> If my ex-bf wanted to watch guy on guy porn I wouldn't care.


The fact that YOU personally wouldn't mind is not the point


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

carmen ohio said:


> AP,
> 
> The OP came here for help because he has a concern about his W looking at lesbian porn. There is nothing wrong with that. If his concern is the result of his lack of knowledge about sexuality, there is nothing wrong with that either. All that matters is that he came here for help. The fact that he is seeking help and wishes to educate himself before deciding what to do is a very good thing, and he ought not to be chided for it.
> 
> ...


Carmen, I appreciate your post. Thank you. You are right there is nothing wrong with and everything right with seeking understanding. 

I've now made 4 posts in this thread and only my first post was in response to the OP and that post was informative without judgement. Continuing to ask the same question in search of an answer already given doesn't legitimize the question. Which was why my 3rd post in this thread asked inarut if she had read the link I provided.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Carmen, I appreciate your post. Thank you. You are right there is nothing wrong with and everything right with seeking understanding.
> 
> I've now made 4 posts in this thread and only my first post was in response to the OP and that post was informative without judgement. Continuing to ask the same question in search of an answer already given doesn't legitimize the question. Which was why my 3rd post in this thread asked inarut if she had read the link I provided.


Thats the problem.You assume there is an answer and only one answer. Anything to the contrary is lack of understanding on someone else's part. Your attitude is...well now i have given you the answer now move on. Case closed! You give the impression there is only one way to look at this and its your way. Anything else is dismissed.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

You provided an article that explains why straight women like lesbian porn. The article explains it well. Is it not also true that some married women like lesbian porn because they are in fact sexually attracted and desirous of women. That's not a possibility?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

nordicwarrior said:


> I caught my wife watching lesbian porn and when I confronted her about it, she said she is 100% straight but just enjoys watching naked women.
> 
> that does not compute with me however.
> 
> I myself am a straight male and have no desire to watch other men.


Oh my god chill the hell out.

This is like the most common thing ever. 

Women watching lesbian porn does not mean that they are gay, or bi, or anything at all except get turned on by lesbian porn.

Quite often it's because m/f porn is geared towards a man getting turned on, and isn't focused on the things that give women pleasure.

I mean, have you noticed that in a lot of f/f porn, a girl will recieve oral for like 20 minutes straight?

Sounds like that kinda thing is what is turning her on. And even if she gets turned on by the fantasy of being with a girl, so what?

Enjoy it with her. Lesbian porn is awesome.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I still struggle how me walking in on my wife watching girl on girl porn while getting off would be anything but AWESOME.

Like, the definition of awesome.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Well we aren't all the same nor do we all like or want the same things... Go figure ...


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Peacem... I feel my point is continually being missed. That's ok. Maybe I'm not expressing myself well. It is pointless however to keep repeating myself.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

inarut said:


> You provided an article that explains why straight women like lesbian porn. The article explains it well. Is it not also true that some married women like lesbian porn because they are in fact sexually attracted and desirous of women. That's not a possibility?


Why is this a problem?

I'm attracted to lesbian porn and the 'actresses' in them.

I'm not going to have sex with them.

Nor would they with me, if they are in fact lesbians.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

It's not a problem FOR YOU.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

inarut said:


> It's not a problem FOR YOU.


Why is it a problem for you?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Let me try one last time. Myself for example I would have a problem with being romantically involved with a bi guy. Maybe, just maybe the OP has a problem being with a bi woman. Maybe his wife is bi maybe not. This guy isn't even aloud to "question" her sexuality. How dare he even! No, he is just ignorant about sexuality and the reasons why some straight women watch lesbian porn. Let's school him pat his head and send him home. Furthermore... What's wrong with guy!!!! He should be happy!


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

inarut said:


> Let me try one last time. Myself for example I would have a problem with being romantically involved with a bi guy. Maybe, just maybe the OP has a problem being with a bi woman. Maybe his wife is bi maybe not. This guy isn't even aloud to "question" her sexuality. How dare he even! No, he is just ignorant about sexuality and the reasons why some straight women watch lesbian porn. Let's school him pat his head and send him home. Furthermore... What's wrong with guy!!!! He should be happy!


OK I'm still lost, maybe I haven't had enough coffee today.

You would have a problem with being with a bi guy even if he only occasionally fantasized about having sex with guys, never actually had sex with guys, and never intended on having sex with guys?

If I ever got turned on by a gay male sex video, do I have to call myself bi?

Every guy has sex with at least one guy -- himself. Does that make every guy bi?

I'm lost here.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

inarut said:


> *Let me try one last time.* Myself for example I would have a problem with being romantically involved with a bi guy. Maybe, just maybe the OP has a problem being with a bi woman. Maybe his wife is bi maybe not. This guy isn't even aloud to "question" her sexuality. How dare he even! No, he is just ignorant about sexuality and the reasons why some straight women watch lesbian porn. Let's school him pat his head and send him home. Furthermore... What's wrong with guy!!!! He should be happy!


Uhhh...

You might have to try again.


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

inarut said:


> The fact that YOU personally wouldn't mind is not the point


As you said..

_I mean seriously, the women here, if you discovered your guy had a thing for guy on guy porn you really wouldn't have any thoughts or concerns about that??_


What's the point then?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

No being turned on by it In a video doesn't make you bisexusaI. I thought that was established already.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

The point is its not ok here to have a problem with being involved with a bisexual woman. How dare he even question her viewing same sex porn. He's just ignorant. Strange even that he is not turned on by it all.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

inarut said:


> No being turned on by it In a video doesn't make you bisexusaI. I thought that was established already.


Listen.. I'm trying here. Honestly.

If watching gay porn and liking it doesn't make me as a man bisexual, how does it make a woman bisexual by watching lesbian porn?

I have no idea at all what you're trying to say -- except that you wouldn't want to be with a bisexual. Which is 100% your choice.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

inarut said:


> The point is its not ok here to have a problem with being involved with a bisexual woman. How dare he even question her viewing same sex porn. He's just ignorant. Strange even that he is not turned on by it all.


I'm not saying he's ignorant, I'm saying I don't understand it.


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

inarut said:


> The point is its not ok here to have a problem with being involved with a bisexual woman. How dare he even question her viewing same sex porn. He's just ignorant. Strange even that he is not turned on by it all.


I don't think she's BI. I think she just wanted to watch lesbian porn. out of curiosity.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

lovelyblue said:


> I don't think she's BI. I think she just wanted to watch lesbian porn. out of curiosity.


I once read a book called "the straight girl's guide to sleeping with chicks." Aside from being very funny and educating about how to please a woman without having a penis, it also left me with the strong sense that a woman's sexuality is perhaps a broader spectrum in terms of response and self-identification... and strongly contextual, as well.

Personally, I don't find that threatening. If a girl had slept with a few girls before meeting me and decided that she just wanted me... I'd still date/marry her.

And I'd be fine if she called herself straight.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

She may or may not be bi....the point is the attitude about it. If it were a woman here questioning her husbands homosexual porn viewing the discussion would be different. She would get different redsponses.His sexuality would be questioned but how date he questions his wife's


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## optimalprimus (Feb 4, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> If you just randomly discovered it and had never talked about it with your man before, sure that would be a shock. But for people who are open about things and know this type of stuff about each other, it really is no biggie. Men like looking at penises. That's why porn geared toward straight guys ALWAYS has HUGE penises. If men didn't want to see penises, they would only watch porn of women, but as we know, this is not the case. The bigger penis the better for straight male porn AND gay porn. Gay male porn is interesting and full of penises. It isn't a big deal. They are just bodies, whether male or female. Sad people get so hung up about this.


I'm certainly not hung up about porn but i couldn't disagree with this more. Pornstars have big schlongs because the men watching are imagining it is them nailing the starlet. Whilst its a hard thing to be definitive about, most men do not have any interest in gay porn. Most women are not into ***** porn. I think its a totally valid concern for the OP to have.


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

marduk said:


> OK I'm still lost, maybe I haven't had enough coffee today.
> 
> *You would have a problem with being with a bi guy even if he only occasionally fantasized about having sex with guys, never actually had sex with guys, and never intended on having sex with guys*?
> 
> ...


I think the bolded part is exactly what she is saying.



inarut said:


> From the OPs post it seems it wasn't discussed and was a suprise. I'm not "hung up" I actually like guy on guy porn and I think women's bodies are beautiful but I don't want to be sexual with women. *Even though I like guy porn, I am turned off by the idea of MY guy being sexually attracted to men.* I would want to know if he was. Romantically, I want a heterosexual.That's just me, everyone's different. To each there own, I don't judge. All I'm saying is the OP has a right to his questions and feelings about it, not to simply be dismissed.


I think here is the problem. @inarut sympathies with the OP in that we are assuming he is worried that Mrs.NordicWarrior might be bisexual, or having an affair with a woman. based only on the CWI classification of the post. 

Clearly, the TAM majority opinion is that finding the wife watching lesbian porn would be the "definition of awesome" and "Dreams can come true" and the advice is mostly use it to your advantage. 
This is a frustrating response if one would be turned off by a partner watching same sex gay porn. Many women, in a reverse scenario, wouldn't appreciate finding a husband watching M/M porn. I get that. however, there is some ambiguity in the posting, due to the responses not being linked back to the post they reference. 

there was also a misunderstanding where @Anon Pink said that the initial question was based in not understanding female sexuality. i'm almost positive inarut thought that the "ignorant" was directed towards her, based on the response. 

personally, i like watching lesbian porn, not because i like girl on girl, but because i like oral sex and want to watch a longer scene Also, with M/F oral scenes, i often find that the camera is not in the angle i would prefer. I also enjoy gay male porn. IMO 2 guys is double the fun. But, I have never had a sexual experience with a woman or been attracted to another female. The odds are, the OP's wife doesn't need to worry that his wife is bisexual, unless there are other factors at play.

5 pages of guessing about what the op thinks later, I'm waiting for him to clarify.


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## optimalprimus (Feb 4, 2015)

inarut said:


> Peacem... I feel my point is continually being missed. That's ok. Maybe I'm not expressing myself well. It is pointless however to keep repeating myself.


Nah inarut I'm understanding you and agreeing.


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

inarut said:


> She may or may not be bi....the point is the attitude about it. If it were a woman here questioning her husbands homosexual porn viewing the discussion would be different. She would get different redsponses.His sexuality would be questioned but how date he questions his wife's


Of course he can question his wife's sexuality. And he did ask her about it.

I confronted her about it, she said she is 100% straight but just enjoys watching naked women...(she was curios about girl on girl)


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

inarut said:


> She may or may not be bi....the point is the attitude about it. If it were a woman here questioning her husbands homosexual porn viewing the discussion would be different. She would get different redsponses.His sexuality would be questioned but how date he questions his wife's


OK, I'll bite. Thought experiment:

Ladies, you're married to me. I confess that I sometimes get turned on by the thought of having a guy go down on me. I assure you that it's something I don't want to actually happen, and that I'm not unsatisified with being with only you, and it's just a pure fantasy thing.

Assuming that you're OK with M/F porn, and I say I sometimes get turned on by M/M porn, would that cause concern?

If so, why?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Thank you sixty eight!


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

marduk said:


> OK, I'll bite. Thought experiment:
> 
> Ladies, you're married to me. I confess that I sometimes get turned on by the thought of having a guy go down on me. I assure you that it's something I don't want to actually happen, and that I'm not unsatisified with being with only you, and it's just a pure fantasy thing.
> 
> ...


For me I'd like it but...I'm a freak lol and I like non-straight porn myself.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Lovely blue....it was stated it was not a "legitimate" question. I disagreed.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

And that he should apologize! How does that foster open and honest communication!


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

nordicwarrior said:


> I caught my wife watching lesbian porn and when I confronted her about it, she said she is 100% straight but just enjoys watching naked women.
> 
> that does not compute with me however.
> 
> I myself am a straight male and have no desire to watch other men.


I assume you posted your OP in CWI because you don't believe your wife when she told you that "she was 100% straight but [enjoyed] watching naked women". Based on your "does not compute" comment, you don't believe her because you think only lesbians watch girl on girl porn. Rest assured, that is not the case. As others have attested to, heterosexual women do find lesbian porn enjoyable to watch. So the bigger question I have is why don't you believe your wife when she tells you she's straight?


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

inarut said:


> Lovely blue....it was stated it was not a "legitimate" question. I disagreed.


Well he was freaked out by his wife watching lesbian porn-(normal) And he asked her why and she told him why.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

And he has been blasted for it!


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Lila...I like your post. If ever comes back maybe he will answer that question.


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## nordicwarrior (Oct 29, 2015)

Lila said:


> I assume you posted your OP in CWI because you don't believe your wife when she told you that "she was 100% straight but [enjoyed] watching naked women". Based on your "does not compute" comment, you don't believe her because you think only lesbians watch girl on girl porn. Rest assured, that is not the case. As others have attested to, heterosexual women do find lesbian porn enjoyable to watch. So the bigger question I have is why don't you believe your wife when she tells you she's straight?


because a straight person does not want to see a person of their same gender have sex with each other. thats why!


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

His other post states that his previous wife left him for a woman, so there is a possibility he is making consistently poor choices of mates.

In any event he should go silent and snoop like crazy, and avoid having children with this woman until he has assured himself she is true to him. 

He should not allow himself to participate in a threesome or allow an open marriage, which his W might bring up after this discovery.

Tamat


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

nordicwarrior said:


> because a straight person does not want to see a person of their same gender have sex with each other. thats why!


I've known at least a dozen women in my dating history that liked girl on girl porn that didn't ever want to have sex with girls. 

It's very common. There are reasons that have nothing to do with wanting to have sex with girls.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nordicwarrior (Oct 29, 2015)

marduk said:


> I've known at least a dozen women in my dating history that liked girl on girl porn that didn't ever want to have sex with girls.
> 
> It's very common. There are reasons that have nothing to do with wanting to have sex with girls.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


then how come straight men dont want to watch male on male porn?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

nordicwarrior said:


> then how come straight men dont want to watch male on male porn?


I'm sure there are ones that do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

nordicwarrior said:


> then how come straight men dont want to watch male on male porn?


Different strokes for different folks.

I consider myself 100% straight and I like to watch girl on girl action. I also like man on man action. However I wouldn't hurt my SO to get my thrill.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

OP is on a different thread explaining why he is feeling this way. His previous wife left him for a woman. The new thread gives some context of where he is coming from. He is not debating if it's ok for people to watch same sex porn. What he cares about is his marriage. He is just trying to save himself some heartache and understand why the heck this is happening to him again. 

You guys hijacked his thread, that he couldn't even voice what he needed.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Totally agree. I'm sorry OP. I hijacked this thread. I was putting myself in your shoes.


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

Okay I get now as well.

The huge problem is that his wife isn't respecting his feelings and she doesn't care to stop hurting her husband.


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

marduk said:


> OK, I'll bite. Thought experiment:
> 
> Ladies, you're married to me. I confess that I sometimes get turned on by the thought of having a guy go down on me. I assure you that it's something I don't want to actually happen, and that I'm not unsatisified with being with only you, and it's just a pure fantasy thing.
> 
> ...





lovelyblue said:


> For me I'd like it but...I'm a freak lol and I like non-straight porn myself.


If i were married to someone who likes sex, i'm with lovelyblue. I tend to like things off the beaten path 
However, i'm married to someone who is LD and has treated sex like an unpleasant chore for several years. If Mr.68 was watching gay porn, i would be really concerned and upset, with good reason. Which is one of the reasons why i'm in the inbetween. I think same sex porn is awesome, and i'm a 100% straight woman, no correlation between the two. however, i'm married to someone where that would be a legitimate concern.



nordicwarrior said:


> because a straight person does not want to see a person of their same gender have sex with each other. thats why!


Clearly you can see here that many straight people like to "see a person of their same gender have sex with each other." Your statement is untrue.
However, I sympathize with you since this situation with your current wife is seeming to mirror a past deception. Does your current wife know about your ex's affair? Do you two have regular and enjoyable sex? Do you have any other reasons not to trust her when she says she is straight and faithful?


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

sixty-eight said:


> If i were married to someone who likes sex, i'm with lovelyblue. I tend to like things off the beaten path
> However, i'm married to someone who is LD and has treated sex like an unpleasant chore for several years. If Mr.68 was watching gay porn, i would be really concerned and upset, with good reason. Which is one of the reasons why i'm in the inbetween. I think same sex porn is awesome, and i'm a 100% straight woman, no correlation between the two. however, i'm married to someone where that would be a legitimate concern.
> 
> 
> ...


I know think nordicwarrior feelings steams from his past relationship-(his ex-wife) doing what she did and now his current wife not respecting his feelings enough to stop watching porn.


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

lovelyblue said:


> I know think nordicwarrior feelings steams from his past relationship-(his ex-wife) doing what she did and now his current wife not respecting his feelings enough to stop watching porn.


i get that. see my original post. i have copied it here below

_However, I sympathize with you since this situation with your current wife is *seeming to mirror a past deception. Does your current wife know about your ex's affair?* Do you two have regular and enjoyable sex? Do you have any other reasons not to trust her when she says she is straight and faithful?_

for those still following, i think op has started a new thread.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/298825-how-do-i-get-my-wife-stop-watching-lesbian-porn.html#post14016369


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

MArduk ... Honestly, I've already stated that guy on guy porn turns me on. I also believe a woman's sexuality is more fluid Rather than fixed. Maybe that's just what I would like to believe given my insecurities. I think(maybe wrongly) men who fantasize about other men want to actually go there and do that. If you get turned on by another man going down on you I think that's probably what you would like to happen. Denial is a strong thing. I think we can all agree it is Socially acceptable for women to dabble a bit. It is not socially acceptable for men. For a man to go there ... He REALLy wants to.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

I'm happy he started a new thread where he can be taken seriously. Given that, should this thread be continued as is .... Deleted ...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

inarut said:


> You provided an article that explains why straight women like lesbian porn. The article explains it well. Is it not also true that some married women like lesbian porn because they are in fact sexually attracted and desirous of women. That's not a possibility?


I can't recall if the link I provided discussed the reasons why lesbian porn is almost never watched by real lesbians...

To answer your question, sure it could be a possibility, but it's highly unlikely. Lesbians watch porn made for lesbians, which would be porn not attractive to men. Lesbians don't want to watch what men find stimulating, nor what straight women find stimulating. Lesbian porn made for lesbians by lesbians is very different than girl on girl action.

Now, would you like to make another 20 posts seeking confirmation that since it is a possibility than that means the question is legitimized? By my guest. But you're beating a dead horse when you keep insisting something *could* be true when it is highly unlikely to be true.

OP, straight men do watch gay porn. It's not admitted to because straight men are in fear of being labeled a closet **** if caught watching gay porn,

This is WHY understanding human sexuality is so important rather than just going off on some myth or misunderstanding.

The Kinsey Institute - Kinsey Sexuality Rating Scale


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Nordic,

A big question then is did your current wife know how devastated you were when your previous wife left you for another woman?

Has your sex life decreased in the recent past?

Tamat


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Anon. ..I don't claim to be a porn expert knowing exactly what kind of porn is consumed and by who. I guess you are. Bravo! And I guess you have all the answers on human sexuality. Bravo again! Don't waste your time on my little posts.


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

inarut said:


> Anon. ..I don't claim to be a porn expert knowing exactly what kind of porn is consumed and by who. I guess you are. Bravo! And I guess you have all the answers on human sexuality. Bravo again! Don't waste your time on my little posts.


I think the porn needs to be addressed secondly he first needs to ask his wife why doesn't she respect his feelings enough not to hurt him.

He's hurting he told his wife so and she doesn't seem to care.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

nordicwarrior said:


> because a straight person does not want to see a person of their same gender have sex with each other. thats why!


Actually I recall a study done not that long ago where women were hooked up to a monitoring system designed to measure arousal levels. Then they were shown pictures and videos depicting sex acts. Some were male/male, some were male/female, female/female, solo etc. Some of the women identified as straight, some as bi, some as lesbian. In the end sexual orientation didn't matter. Neither did the sexuality of the visual stimuli they were receiving. Virtually all the women became aroused at all the pictures/video. A similar study was done with men and their responses were much more in line with their stated sexual preferences. The conclusion reached was that women's sexuality was much more fluid than men's. So unless there are other red flags present I wouldn't be too concerned.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

optimalprimus said:


> I'm certainly not hung up about porn but i couldn't disagree with this more. Pornstars have big schlongs because the men watching are imagining it is them nailing the starlet. Whilst its a hard thing to be definitive about, most men do not have any interest in gay porn. Most women are not into ***** porn. I think its a totally valid concern for the OP to have.


Having known plenty of straight men who can easily cop to wanting to see huge d*cks in porn and sometimes gay porn, I'm gonna say...nah. You are wrong. But for yourself of course, you are right. And as far as most women not being into ***** porn? You are also wrong. Women who are into porn at all are usually very much good with watching girl on girl porn.

I never said the OP should or should not have a valid concern. I only addressed the fact that straight people watch gay porn all the time. And a lot of gay people watch straight porn, too.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I can't recall if the link I provided discussed the reasons why lesbian porn is almost never watched by real lesbians...
> 
> To answer your question, sure it could be a possibility, but it's highly unlikely. Lesbians watch porn made for lesbians, which would be porn not attractive to men. Lesbians don't want to watch what men find stimulating, nor what straight women find stimulating. Lesbian porn made for lesbians by lesbians is very different than girl on girl action.
> 
> ...


Well it is true when it comes to his ex wife now isnt it no matter how unlikely it might be. So maybe dont automatically dismiss someone when they come here with the same kind of concern because nothing is absolute and cut in stone now is it...


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Having known plenty of straight men who can easily cop to wanting to see huge d*cks in porn and sometimes gay porn, I'm gonna say...nah. You are wrong. But for yourself of course, you are right. And as far as most women not being into ***** porn? You are also wrong. Women who are into porn at all are usually very much good with watching girl on girl porn.
> 
> I never said the OP should or should not have a valid concern. I only addressed the fact that straight people watch gay porn all the time. And a lot of gay people watch straight porn, too.


I dont disagree. But the OP was dismissed in this thread. His concern was not considered valid.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

inarut said:


> I dont disagree. But the OP was dismissed in this thread. His concern was not considered valid.


Ok you have said this like, 800 times now. But *I* never dismissed him. So lay off maybe? At least stop responding to ME with the same thing?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Ok you have said this like, 800 times now. But *I* never dismissed him. So lay off maybe? At least stop responding to ME with the same thing?


I'll let it be with you and the others.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

happyman64 said:


> Your wife likes porn. Period.
> 
> Use it to your advantage.
> Use it to her advantage.
> ...


Watching "real" lesbian porn can be quite educational. Women make love to each other differently from the way men make love to women. They take more tine in the "warm up", kissing, gently touching, handling body parts just so, and so on.

This seems to turn many women on (there is no such thing as ALL women behaving the same way) and a man can benefit from that.

So I agree with the notion that you should watch it with your wife. Pay attention to what goes on on the screen and what seems to turn your wife on.

Do I think that you have reason to be worried? No, I don't.


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## optimalprimus (Feb 4, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> Having known plenty of straight men who can easily cop to wanting to see huge d*cks in porn and sometimes gay porn, I'm gonna say...nah. You are wrong. But for yourself of course, you are right. And as far as most women not being into ***** porn? You are also wrong. Women who are into porn at all are usually very much good with watching girl on girl porn.
> 
> I never said the OP should or should not have a valid concern. I only addressed the fact that straight people watch gay porn all the time. And a lot of gay people watch straight porn, too.


Lol - saying I'm 'wrong' is typical of the intellectual arrogance you and some others routinely display in this forum. 

Let me put it this way. There may be x% of men who enjoy looking at the male form with sexual interest, and there is nothing wrong with that. They may be gay, they may be slightly or significantly bi-sexual or bi-curious.

But the majority of men do not, even using the kinsey report, which is great theory but terrible empirics.

And more importantly, the OP, and any person, is within their rights to be concerned about an interest in the opposite sex they never knew their partner had. It is a poor marriage when people can't be honest about their sexual preferences.

The OP is right to be concerned if he feels it is a surprise and should talk it through more with his wife. Those dismissing his concerns with 'its completely normal' and its 'awesome' (really!) are being childish. That is what got me and some other posters to intervene.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

optimalprimus said:


> Lol - saying I'm 'wrong' is typical of the intellectual arrogance you and some others routinely display in this forum.


That wasn't necessary. Particularly since you follow up this complaint with your own version of intellectual arrogance.



> But the majority of men do not, even using the kinsey report, which is great theory but terrible empirics.
> 
> 
> The OP is right to be concerned if he feels it is a surprise and should talk it through more with his wife. *Those dismissing his concerns with 'its completely normal' and its 'awesome' (really!) are being childish. *That is what got me and some other posters to intervene.



Okay so you doubt the veracity of the Kinsey report because you think the data is dubiously assessed. And then you suggest those of us who reassure OP that it is normal and within the range of female sexual continuum are childish? Which do you really think is childish, jumping to conclusions based on inaccurate information, or calling other posters childish for dismissing OP's concerns.

The real issue here is that both @Faithful Wife and I are routinely attacked when we inject more accurate info...particularly outside of the SIM section. And we're both tired of it. Speaking for myself, it's very hard to continue to ignore those posts.

End threadjack


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

optimalprimus said:


> Lol - saying I'm 'wrong' is typical of the intellectual arrogance you and some others routinely display in this forum.


Amen!


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> That wasn't necessary. Particularly since you follow up this complaint with your own version of intellectual arrogance.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Please do continue to ignore it. Your input is invaluable. Don't let others run you off.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
All we really know about the woman watching lesbian porn is that ...... she likes to watch lesbian porn. There are all sorts of reasons she might enjoy it: Maybe she enjoys receiving oral and lesbian porn shows that and she can identify. Maybe she is bi-curious. Maybe she has bi fantasies but no intention of ever acting on them. 

I don't think any of that matters. To me the two questions are (and I'd ask exactly the same for men watching):

1) Is her porn watching interfering with her sex life with her partner?

2) Is her porn watching an indication that she will cheat? In most cases I suspect not but its a valid question.

Even if she is bi curious that doesn't mean she will cheat. An attraction to a same-sex person is no stronger than one to an opposite sex person.


FWIF, if my wife really wanted to experience sex with another woman, I'd be OK, but would try to negotiate for either: Camera or threesome > , or as a poor 3rd choice, an open relationship.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

nordicwarrior said:


> I caught my wife watching lesbian porn and when I confronted her about it, she said she is 100% straight but just enjoys watching naked women.
> 
> that does not compute with me however.
> 
> I myself am a straight male and have no desire to watch other men.



If one day I found out Mrs.CuddleBug was discretely viewing lesbian porn, I would figure she is bi sexual and obviously into the ladies.

You don't view lesbian porn and discretely if you aren't into women.

What if I was viewing gay porn and Mrs.CuddleBug found out?

She'd think I'm bi sexual or gay and she would be very upset.

My point is, you view what you desire and want.

You don't view things that aren't a big deal.

I say, talk to her openly about her viewing lesbian porn, don't freak out, and use this to your advantage and to better your relationship.

Every guys dream is to have a 3 some, right?

I know if Mrs.CuddleBug admitted to me she likes the ladies, never told anyone and brought a woman home for us, 3 some, I would be blown away.:laugh::grin2:

But realistically, I'm not holding my breath.


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

inarut said:


> Then there Are those who don't care at all ...men, women, whatever ...just pass her around....lovely isn't it....


Lol


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

the guy said:


> I'm guessing your chick like getting oral......for some reason it has to do with having someone going down on her....you will find more porn with chicks going down on chicks then you will find guys going down on chicks. its a industry standard where the chick is going down on the guy. (it's a male based industry)
> One might find 30 seconds of a guy eating a chick,,,but several minutes the other way around...like wise with girl girl.
> 
> In short there is more shots of girls going down on girls then guys going down on girls, so if your chicks likes watching that kind of thing, she doesn't have many option other then girl girl porn.
> ...


Yes!


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

inarut said:


> When looking for porn you can find anything you want. If what your looking for is a man giving oral to a woman... No problem, it's there.


Tru but harder to find


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

inarut said:


> When looking for porn you can find anything you want. If what your looking for is a man giving oral to a woman... No problem, it's there.


Who wants to wait and search when y can just type in girl on girl and it's there


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

inarut said:


> Google it if you don't believe me... Lol


Some women don't think to type in.. man going down on women.. They just type in .. porn.. which Akers it hard to find Exactly what she is looking for


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

inarut said:


> Happyman64.... Would you say the same thing to a woman who came here saying she caught her husband watching gay porn? I think not ....


True but if the man is just looking for women going down on men it's not hard to find. So if he is watching gay porn he must be gay.but for a women ,she may not be able to find a Full flick with men Only licking a women.so she results in watching lesbian porn.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Men and women view what they desire and would like to have. In this case lesbian porn for this lady.


It starts as she likes how ladies bodies look, sexy.

Then its lesbian oral sex on each other.

Then its tribadism.

Then one wears a strap on then even vibrates.

One thing leads to another.

Then lets try a 3 some.

Then why even be with her bf or hubby?


Do I view guys giving oral on other guys? NO. Why would I? I like women.

Do I view guys having anal sex with other guys? NO. Why would I? I like women.


If a women views women having lesbian sex, its because she likes the ladies. If she didn't like the ladies, she wouldn't view it. You view what you desire.


Sooner or later, the truth always "comes out."


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Locking thread


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