# Fresh Out of Suicide Watch - This is My Story



## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

Hey guys,

I've been lurking TAM since this entire thing happened. I first posted on SurvivingInfidelity.com, and the feedback I got was very helpful at the time. I have found a lot of resources on TAM and I thought it would help ease my pain to have a place to chronicle my experience and healthily vent to anonymous strangers rather than continue to burden people in my life.

Also - it's my hope that down the road someone at the end of their rope (pun not intended, but funny) will learn from my mistakes and move towards rediscovering the self-love required to endure this.



> *If you skip this entire post, tl;dr etc. - take this one thing away:*
> Yes, your SO _was_ the most wonderful, unique, beautiful person you have ever known. That person no longer exists anywhere but in your memory. The person they are now is not unique in their behavior. Everything they're doing to you is exactly the same actions perpetrated by every other selfish piece of sh1t pined for in this sub-forum and is only a reflection on them. You'd like to believe they're different, that is normal - but they are not. It is an immature human's reaction to guilt to put the blame on you, do not internalize their bullsh1t and blame yourself.


Here is the original story:



> *//////////// The Situation:*
> 
> 2012 was one of the most stressful years we have ever had. Bought our first house together, got in a huge pile-up on the interstate, home almost burned down, we had a month-old puppy die, had a miscarriage and I have had incredible stress at work during this entire period while her job has been very tolerable of our/her personal issues. She threw herself into Yoga and running, lost about 16 sizes, I paid for her Lasik... and she's been progressively dressing sexier and sexier at work.
> 
> ...


A lot of stuff happened between January 13th and February 26th.

We went to just two counseling sessions, and she continued shifting the blame. I couldn't stuff my anger down when I spoke to her, so unfortunately I have had a hard time being heavy handed with her. I did everything wrong, wrote several letters, emails and texts and just pushed her away hard. She opted out of further sessions and waffled back to wanting out.

I have been left holding the bag while she has moved in with her friend's mother, getting dinner, laundry, entertainment, company etc. all done for her, while distracting herself watching TV (we didn't have TV in our home), being dishonest, drinking and throwing herself into new superficial relationships to avoid the pain of this.

I got divorce papers on Feb 1st, for 20 days I pretended like it didn't exist. The weekend after Valentine's Day was when we were to celebrate our 12 year anniversary. This same weekend was when I had to sign the documents and turn them in. I ended up writing goodbye letters, tied a noose and made the 'logical decision' to end all of the despair.

Rope tight around my neck, at the end of my tolerance of pain, the voice in the back of my mind that I wasn't paying heed to was the only thing I could hear at that moment. We all have this voice. Some call it god, some call it the primal brain, others call it consciousness or the 'true self'. Either way, listening to this voice gave way to rediscovering self-love, that you are worth the effort of seeing this through and finding out what is on the other side _in this lifetime_.

Choice is all we have, and our choices dictate our destiny. It is *empowering* when you realize that at the end of everything we attribute value to, you can really only control this and nothing else; and no one can ever take that away from you. Free will some call it. How ridiculously simple is that?

Anyway, I made the rational choice to go to sleep and see how I felt in the morning. I forgot to retrieve the notes, they were found and the police were knocking on my bedroom door at 2AM to haul me off to a suicide prevention hospital.

As I said, I had made the choice to put it off, so I felt like being locked up to dwell was not good for me. Turns out, taking a breather in a different environment helped me to chip away at myself. The 4 days I was locked up all I did was pushups, sit-ups and reflect on who I was, the decisions I could control and what I wanted to be moving forward.

Suicide is a personal decision, and one I truly feel everyone has a right to choose for themselves. You do not live for others, even your children as a lot of people assume. The idea is that you cling to giving hope to others to see you through the darkest of times; but at everyone's core is a survival instinct that is 100% selfish. Some claim it is biological, but I believe that spiritually, subconsciously, we have an awareness that our existence is part of a design we can never understand. This voice matters.

====================================

Here are bullets to sum up some key events, and the results so you know what's futile and learn from my experience.


*I wrote her several letters, texts and emails. Most loving, some angry.*
*Result:*
All of this did nothing but push her further away. I found she tried harder than ever to justify what she was doing, putting the onus on me rather than taking ownership.
*Reasoning:*
You may have an overwhelming surge of thoughts and feelings in your mind's-eye that you feel you _have_ share. Write them all down on paper and keep them to yourself.
*Takeaway Lesson:*
Your SO no longer listens with their heart as they once did. It is a mistake to think you can communicate on this level anymore - and this is the root of coming across as 'needy'. It's a tough concept to wrap your head around, but think back to the dating scene - everyone is guarded, everyone plays it cool and like it or not - that is your SO's mentality. You're just another prospect in their mind right now and your feelings are 'weird' from this twisted perspective. You're the 'creepy suitor' who has a higher interest level.


*My anger was interpreted as lecturing and berating, exposing the affair to her family was seen as a betrayal.*
*Result:*
Exposing the affair resulted in getting divorce paperwork in the mail within 3 days.
*Reasoning:*
Their anger and hurt are more real to them than yours, your anger and hurt are DE-prioritized. In a strange way, they believe their lack of authenticity about their love is the same for you, and so your hurt and anger is just as superficial as their feelings towards you _at this moment_. Wow, that's really hard to explain.
*Takeaway Lesson:*
Indifference is your friend. Yes, expose ASAP, make them wear that scarlet letter and when they claim it is 'the last straw' smile and wave goodbye *no matter what*. Every fiber in your being will scream to keep working at changing their mind - but it will only result in the opposite.


*My wife lacked any remorse whatsoever, no sentimentality, no apologies - she acted like an abused wife. She said the most hurtful things I never thought she would say. She lied to family and friends about my value. She posted unrealistic, debasing things on the internet and belittled my devotion at every turn.*
*Result:*
This for me was the most hurtful. To give what I considered my family the impression that I was not good for her really messed with me. Discovering this was the catalyst for considering suicide. I felt powerless to convince these people that she was the one inflicting all of this damage.
*Reasoning:*
Again, your SO knows they are being unfair, but they have compartmentalized the emotional consequences so much that they are in full ego-survival mode. While you have an overwhelming urge to fix what is wrong, they have an urge just as strong to create an inner peace that is 100% delusional, but the only way to reconcile their self-worth with their atrocious actions.
*Takeaway Lesson:*
Hold on as tight as you can to the truth you know. Believe very little of what they say to you or others. Think of it as the tantrum that children throw. The only effective way to deal with those tantrums is indifference. Reason and they push away, be nice and they twist the knife, be angry and they try to match your anger. You have to allow the waves of their false hatred to just wash over you. The only people after everything is said and done that matter are the ones who see through your SO's bull****. Everyone's opinion simply does not count in your world after this.

================================

*Forget about labels like codependency* - looking at the psychology of this is not going to help you achieve anything other than obsessing over what you cannot control. See a shrink to tackle these issues with subjective guidance. Anything else is just indulging in the pain caused by confusion.

Create a mantra for yourself, center it around the fact that the person you loved is gone and was gone for some time. *You will never get that person back.* If you reconcile, it will be with a different person in a different marriage and it will likely take years to see this person as you once did.

*Do not compromise yourself to keep your family intact.* You may convince them to keep at it and things will seem great for a time. Eventually, though, you will exhaust yourself with bitterness, distrust and self-loathing.

Now that they have made their decision to be selfish in spite of the damage they have caused - the only thing left is YOU. When you were too young to understand anything beyond what you wanted you were the center of the universe.

This is why children seem so happy. They are 100% focused on their own needs/wants and are only influenced by what is or isn't given to them. The complexities of human emotion are only a product of attributing meaning to things beyond the basics.

So, work out, play, relax, enjoy the moment, breathe, *LIVE YOUR FVCKING LIFE for YOU and no one else* and you will find there is no one or nothing as fulfilling as allowing yourself to be selfish.

Indulge in being selfish and you will radiate happiness and this is the only thing that will draw someone authentic and genuine to you when the time is right.

Thanks for reading.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I was in the same boat last July. My wife said she wanted out.. and one day I came home and she was gone.

I begged for a month.. then I decided to go no contact. It was the best thing ever. Unfortunately I had children in the mix so i had to deal with her once and a while.

Let her go... don't say a word and leave it be. You can't stop her from leaving.. and if you keep trying she will hate you more.

She need to go out and find out that the grass isn't greener.

I didn't talk to her other than in official e-mails and in court and 5 months later she comes back wanting to work on our marriage.

Let her go. Give her space and keep doing your own thing. Split up the bills and stick to it.

It sucks and it hurts. It has been 3 months since my wife and I decided to work on our marriage. She doesn't live at home but visits on weekends.

Leave her be... 

You really need to talk to you doctor about anti-depressants since you mentioned that you wanted to hang yourself. Mine were the saving grace for me. Sleep with the TV on for distraction and move to another bed so you don't get upset sleeping in your bed without her.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Why haven't you exposed the POSOM?

Let this be yet another lesson to the BSs out there:


You cannot "nice" your WS out of the affair. That Plan A crap never works
You cannot love them out of the affair. You are at a distinct disadvantage and cannot compete with the OM/OW. Because in an affair, it's all lolipops and rainbows. They only see the OM/OW at their best, while your WS sees you at your lowest.
Begging and pleading never works. It only makes you look desperate and unattractive


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Its crazy how all these stories just meld into one another. I see dozens of things my wife has done that are exactly or similar to what your wife has done. 

It is almost like there should be a sticky in which it should read, Your wife did this __________ fill in the blank. And now she is treating you like this __________fill in the blank. 

The only real difference between these issues is if you have kids or not. But beyond that the story is the same.

I'm glad your alive to post this and not some family member at your request on a suicide note.

I think many here have been down that road at some point or another.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

Hardtohandle said:


> Its crazy how all these stories just meld into one another. I see dozens of things my wife has done that are exactly or similar to what your wife has done.
> 
> It is almost like there should be a sticky in which it should read, Your wife did this __________ fill in the blank. And now she is treating you like this __________fill in the blank.
> 
> ...


This is so true. When I finally found this web site and read the stories it's all the same story.


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## BeenthereDunThat (Nov 27, 2012)

Hardtohandle said:


> Its crazy how all these stories just meld into one another. I see dozens of things my wife has done that are exactly or similar to what your wife has done.
> 
> Hardtohandle, you are right - it is crazy and may be impossible to understand the crazy thinking of a WS. I know I have tried for a year now and I'm at the point of accepting that it may be impossible to understand.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

BURNT KEP said:


> This is so true. When I finally found this web site and read the stories it's all the same story.


Most affairs generally follow the cheater's script. Its to the point where you can pretty much predict the behavior and outcome.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> Most affairs generally follow the cheater's script. Its to the point where you can pretty much predict the behavior and outcome.


So true I just wish I would have found this site earlier it would have been a big help.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Why haven't you exposed the POSOM?
> 
> Let this be yet another lesson to the BSs out there:
> 
> ...



I would have been standing between their desks in a heartbeat. Yes he would have thought I had gone psycho because I would not have left any doubt.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Basic bio. Length of relationship, married, kids?

It is unclear when it became PA.

How did the notes get found?

Sorry you are here.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

What haven't you exposed the POSOM and at work?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

BURNT KEP said:


> So true I just wish I would have found this site earlier it would have been a big help.


:iagree:

Same here.


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

Wow, you did EVERYTHING wrong. It’s too bad you didn't get help first before you went on to sabotage yourself. That being said, it’s never too late for the 180, its still early in the game for you. 

She basically kicked you in the junk and spit in your face and you apologized for making her do that and bought her flowers to boot. When someone disrespects you like that, you don’t go kissing their azz to get them to stop. 

She is your ENEMY. Trying to R after what she did and is doing shouldn’t have been an option. She will fail but you have to stop supporting her emotionally first. You still wanting her feeds her ego and actually enables the affair. Had you pulled the rug out from under her by kicking her out on day one things would be different. The nice guy approach ALWAYS fails in these situations, it impossible to “win” them back. The best thing to do is turn your back on them and let them fall without you.

You need to be a giant A-hole to her. She doesn’t respect you because you don’t respect yourself and look weak in her eyes. Show her you don’t need her and won’t tolerate her anymore. Your W has set herself up for failure (she is delusional and believes just because you and the OM wants her, all guys want her) and will get a hard lesson once she is on her own that things are not going to be as easy as she thinks. Her A with the OM might last 6 months (on average) but statically it shouldn’t make it a year or 2 at best. 

You need to get angry ASAP. In a couple of years you may find out that her leaving was the best thing that happened to you.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

ArmyofJuan said:


> Wow, you did EVERYTHING wrong. It’s too bad you didn't get help first before you went on to sabotage yourself. That being said, it’s never too late for the 180, its still early in the game for you.
> 
> She basically kicked you in the junk and spit in your face and you apologized for making her do that and bought her flowers to boot. When someone disrespects you like that, you don’t go kissing their azz to get them to stop.
> 
> ...


Yep, I agree that I handled it all wrong. I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time and made choices that cemented her desire to leave. As I explained here, in hindsight I'm reluctantly glad that it happened this way.

My personal problem is huge abandonment issues, and the fact that I spent 12 years working my ass off to get out of poverty I grew up with. We had just bought her 'dream house' a year ago and we were in a very precarious financial situation, we were both very aware of this and yet she still chose to chuck it all.

So, it's like 30% her and 70% losing my stability. She doesn't understand that the latter is what is causing me the most pain, she assumes it's my inability to live without her. The reality is that it's overwhelming to think of starting over after *just* getting a foothold on finances/life direction after a decade of work.

I was hoping my original post would help to point out to others why what I did will not work for them either.

As.s.hole mode is def on, I called her a c*nt for the first time ever and told her to f*ck off with her spoiled brat bullsh*t. The problem is I have to depend on her to ensure my credit doesn't get screwed. Being of value to a future woman is going to be even harder if my ex-wife makes me a loser.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Why have you not exposed the affair at work? It's your best chance to break it up,

Focus on that goal first and then decide later if you will D.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

Shaggy said:


> Why have you not exposed the affair at work? It's your best chance to break it up,
> 
> Focus on that goal first and then decide later if you will D.


We're already divorcing. She served papers 3 days after I exposed her to her family.

If I expose her at work and she gets fired I will screw myself because then we can't afford the house.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Do not live in the land of if's move forward with a purpose. Expose her A at work. Does that POS OM have a wife or GF? Let her know.

I hope you know she had already f'ed this guy before she talked with you. Do not be fooled she is a liar and will continue to lie. Go see your Dr right away and get checked for STD's. Also get your BP checked and start an exercise program you are going to need it. Forget the MC she has made up her mind get into IC for yourself. I am sorry you are here.

What is your support group like to you have family, friends, kids that will support you and help you?


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

Looks like you are on the right path now. Play your cards right and you will end up on top in the long run and actually feeling sorry for her. Dollars to donuts she has not planned more than 5 minutes in the future and will start to fall once she is completely cut off from you. She was just as depended on you as you were to her, she just doesn’t realize how much just yet.

She thinks the OM is her KISA, she is going to be disappointed to find he is just a man and probably way below you (people tend to affair down). A's have a tendency to make crap look like gold to a WS. 

Stay strong and WILL have a better life than she does. She seems to have unrealistic expectations and no interest in having a backup plan. Don’t be too shocked to find her snooping around once her A goes into the toilet and her ego needs a boost. Be wary of any traps she may set for you.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

mahike said:


> Do not live in the land of if's move forward with a purpose. Expose her A at work. Does that POS OM have a wife or GF? Let her know.
> 
> What is your support group like to you have family, friends, kids that will support you and help you?


My stability & credit mean more to me than whatever c*ck she has her lips wrapped around. Keeping a grip on what I've worked for is my purpose.

I have no family or friends, we moved here 3 years ago and I've just worked my ass off, did little else. So, just going out by myself, working out and trying to find healthy ways to eliminate my anger.


ArmyofJuan said:


> Looks like you are on the right path now. Play your cards right and you will end up on top in the long run and actually feeling sorry for her. Dollars to donuts she has not planned more than 5 minutes in the future and will start to fall once she is completely cut off from you. She was just as depended on you as you were to her, she just doesn’t realize how much just yet.
> 
> She thinks the OM is her KISA, she is going to be disappointed to find he is just a man and probably way below you (people tend to affair down). A's have a tendency to make crap look like gold to a WS.
> 
> Stay strong and WILL have a better life than she does. She seems to have unrealistic expectations and no interest in having a backup plan. Don’t be too shocked to find her snooping around once her A goes into the toilet and her ego needs a boost. Be wary of any traps she may set for you.


Yeah no other man she meets will give her the devotion I did, and the little princess will come back wishing she wasn't getting passed around.

AP is single, in better shape, hasn't dedicated the last decade to making his wife's dreams come true so is doing well financially, has a heroic back-story and is everything I haven't been; especially since the miscarriage. She def. affair-ed up in her & her friends' minds.

Remember my wife went from a size 20 to a size 8 and then after the miscarriage went down to a size 2 and I bought her Lasik. She thinks she's a prize now and the attention she gets from the fellas downtown where she works reinforces it. She just can't understand she's seeing guys in work-mode, they're suited up and on their best behaviors because they're puss-muffin cupcakes.

I'm the wood-chopping, motorcycle-riding, long-haired, don't take no sh*t mountain man that had a gorgeous, wonderful girl-next-door type of wife until I got depressed from the miscarriage and backslide to beta.

She'll figure out what she lost eventually, it still hurts like hell.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

Sudden404 said:


> She'll figure out what she lost eventually, it still hurts like hell.


And you'll figure out what you lost eventually...a rotten wife.

Sorry for your hurt. Been there with you. No suicide stuff, but I know that the betrayal to the family and friends is just as bad as their affair.

Hang tough Sudden! It will get better.

Get well, and find a better woman down the road.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Sudden404 said:


> We're already divorcing. She served papers 3 days after I exposed her to her family.
> 
> If I expose her at work and she gets fired I will screw myself because then we can't afford the house.


By your actions, I conclude your interest in money is stronger than your love for self.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

Conrad said:


> By your actions, I conclude your interest in money is stronger than your love for self.


Do you know what the hierarchy of needs is?

I'm going to _hate myself_ if I end up in a shelter or living in a trailer like I did when I was a child because I let her destroy the home I worked hard to purchase and fix up; even temporarily.

Don't you see? IDGAF if she continues to see this guy, I'm done with the c*m-dumpster now... I'm not exposing because I'm protecting her, it's to protect myself. Now that I see her for who she is, I care more about money than HER.

Working on myself so I can get someone with better values down the road, that includes continuing to be a good provider, just for someone else that deserves it.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Your going to loose the house in any case, because she's shown she's going to take no prisoners here.

20->8->2. That's got to leave a lot of saggy skin on her. She must look like hell unclothed.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

It's huge & I'm getting renters, either that or selling rather than getting foreclosed on.

And you'd think so but no... she actually looks fantastic and all I did while she was doing it was be in her corner, supporting everything.

I'm actually really happy I got to bang that tail from heavy to thin; but make no mistake - I adored her even at her biggest. I would have never seen her as anything but beautiful when we were 80.

Now? I think she's disgusting because of what's inside her now. I told her a couple of weeks ago that she should start eating her makeup so she can be pretty inside once again.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

Actually, the funny thing is I work in internet marketing...

Once the divorce is over and it's legal for me to do so (and I know what is and isn't for IM after a decade of doing it) I'm going to make a website dedicated to her and her actions for every prospective employer/suitor to discover when they research her.

When it's done I'll post it here so you can see some of the goods.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Its called cheaterville.com

It's sad how many times this plays out the same way, women drop massive amounts of weight, get attention and cheat their asses off.

Of course the new guy is getting a chick that's still massively messed. Up inside and completely loyal to no one. Not much of a prize.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Shaggy said:


> Its called cheaterville.com
> 
> It's sad how many times this plays out the same way, women drop massive amounts of weight, get attention and cheat their asses off.
> 
> Of course the new guy is getting a chick that's still massively messed. Up inside and completely loyal to no one. Not much of a prize.


I worked with a gal in her mid-thirties. She went on a business trip to the "home office" in California. The employees out there had a happy hour. One of the guys that worked in the home office asked her if he could store his bag in her room - had an expensive computer etc. in it.

When they went back to retrieve it, she ends up banging him.

3 kids, stable family, etc.

But, yeah, she had done the gastric bypass and dropped the pounds. She was so pumped about guys hitting on her in gas stations and the like.

It simply turned my stomach.

Her husband was a decent guy - working class.

No conscience at all.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

Yeah cheaterville is a good place; even better is

____isaWh*re.com

____isaCheatingPOS.com

____ScrewedHerFamily.com

____IsNottobeTrusted.com

When an employer searches her name (as they all do nowadays) this'll be right up there, talking about all of her bad habits from work ethic to a lack of values. The scales will be balanced at some point.

Hell hath no fury like a web developer.


She bragged to me that she'll "maybe marry a billionaire"... now it will be the only choice available aside from gas station jobs.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Do you have proof of her infidelity ?

Her friends are bashing you because she setup the situation as such from quite sometime, on how you abused her, on how controlling you were in the marriage etc


You next step should exposing her to mutual friends(maybe her friends too). They are likely eating the lies she fed them before you got separated, while you were too busy to reconcile..


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ArmyofJuan said:


> Wow, you did EVERYTHING wrong. It’s too bad you didn't get help first before you went on to sabotage yourself. That being said, it’s never too late for the 180, its still early in the game for you.
> 
> She basically kicked you in the junk and spit in your face and you apologized for making her do that and bought her flowers to boot. When someone disrespects you like that, you don’t go kissing their azz to get them to stop.
> 
> ...


Actually, she is her own enemy.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Want to really piss her off, send pics of her when she was really obese to her new guy., especially if you have any naked pics. If that doesn't run him off...


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Its called cheaterville.com
> 
> It's sad how many times this plays out the same way, women drop massive amounts of weight, get attention and cheat their asses off.
> 
> Of course the new guy is getting a chick that's still massively messed. Up inside and completely loyal to no one. Not much of a prize.


I just read an article that says when the affair kicks in, they typically lose weight even faster.

The divorce rate on women who get gastric bypass is 80%. The 20% that stay together are the ones where the woman started the marriage hot and then got fat. The marriages where the woman was fat when she married almost all fail. This is the Pareto Principle again. The fat girls settled for the best guy they could get at the time. Once the looks started coming from higher sex rank more alpha types: game over.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> I just read an article that says when the affair kicks in, they typically lose weight even faster.
> 
> The divorce rate on women who get gastric bypass is 80%. The 20% that stay together are the ones where the woman started the marriage hot and then got fat. The marriages where the woman was fat when she married almost all fail. This is the Pareto Principle again. The fat girls settled for the best guy they could get at the time. Once the looks started coming from higher sex rank more alpha types: game over.


That applies to the ones that get the boob job too, doesn't it?


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## HappyHubby (Aug 16, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> I just read an article that says when the affair kicks in, they typically lose weight even faster.
> 
> The divorce rate on women who get gastric bypass is 80%. The 20% that stay together are the ones where the woman started the marriage hot and then got fat. The marriages where the woman was fat when she married almost all fail. This is the Pareto Principle again. The fat girls settled for the best guy they could get at the time. Once the looks started coming from higher sex rank more alpha types: game over.


I think its sad that with all the intellect human beings have for the most part most of us make our major decisions in this area based on the same instincts that all other animals do. When it comes to love, humans are just hairless monkeys sipping lattes and wasting their intellect on rationalizations for why their actions are morally justified.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> Most affairs generally follow the cheater's script. Its to the point where you can pretty much predict the behavior and outcome.


The sooner the BS walks off the script, the better. That's when you take control, when you start making good things happen for yourself.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

I think you're on the right track now. Revenge is just as good down the road, no need to screw yourself over. Bide your time, get the best lawyer you can and finalize the divorce. Sell the house, sounds huge for one person. Good luck, I'm glad you listened to your inner voice.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

She was thin for the first 4 years or so. Never actually athletic until about 2 years ago... Fwiw


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

wow! tough read.

i feel for you m'man, but it sounds like your wife had checked-out of the marriage some time ago. the miscarriage only compounded the situation. 

i also believe that your wife and this OM were further along in the affair(possible PA) than you think. 


although i'd usually agree with the others about exposing, it seems it would be toxic for you to pursue the issue any futher, given your suicide attempt. i feel you just have to move on at this point.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

I agree with what others have said also I belive that working on yourself doing things such as working out
Exercising etc will help with stress more than anything. Use this time to get to know yourself 
You spent the last 12 yrs catering to her and her wants and needs, I see now is time for you develop
Old or new hobbies, old or new friends and get on that bike bro and keep it in the wind
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

A dish best served COLD!


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

404, if your soon to be ex had to change herself physically in order to feel comfortable while cheating, she's likely to fail in the next relationship, as well. Once she hits hard times, she will be slithering back to you for relief and this will be your cue for revenge.
Let her explain her troubles to a closed door.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

And people say handling an affair in a beta male manner can get results.

Yeah, just not any you'd want.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> That applies to the ones that get the boob job too, doesn't it?


Research into claims that breast augmentation resulted in connective tissue disease incidentally found that women with fake tits were 9X more likely to have a partner count in excess of 14. I say again, *in excess of 14* sex partners. I say again *NINE TIMES as likely*.

So if your wife was not a slvt before she decided she needed fake tits, that may mean she's planning on catching up on her missing 14+++.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

HappyHubby said:


> I think its sad that with all the intellect human beings have for the most part most of us make our major decisions in this area based on the same instincts that all other animals do. When it comes to love, humans are just hairless monkeys sipping lattes and wasting their intellect on rationalizations for why their actions are morally justified.


There is no question the limbic "reptilian brain" is calling the shots when it comes to attraction and sex. If so many people would quit denying it and understand that the Rationalization Hamster is not really their friend, then they would be much happier. However, the Hypergamouse is untamed.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Running away is only justified when you are running away from a temptation/vice. Aside from that confront your problems, don't kill yourself (literally).


Revenge? Why waste your time with that, its not like she killed your father, she just killed your ego.


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## Sudden404 (Feb 26, 2013)

CleanJerkSnatch said:


> Running away is only justified when you are running away from a temptation/vice. Aside from that confront your problems, don't kill yourself (literally).
> 
> 
> Revenge? Why waste your time with that, its not like she killed your father, she just killed your ego.


That is very valuable wisdom and what I definitely needed to hear right now.

Thank you


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