# Am I crazy like he makes me out to be?!?!?



## jessiko555 (Dec 2, 2010)

I know I have a bad temper and some things just really bother me, but am I really that crazy?

I've had finals the past few weeks, and haven't had much time to hang out with my hubby. Well, Tron came out and he was SO excited to see it, and said numerous times that we HAVE to see it. I said ok. Too bad it came out when I still had 2 finals left. I was at school studying on a weekend, and wasn't sure what time I'd be home. He texted me saying he was going to watch it with his buddy. Didn't even ask if I wanted to come, or anything. I said, "you mean the one you promised you would see with me, lol?" and than he invited me too. I declined as I thought that was quite rude of him.
Later, when I got home, I found out he not only invited his buddy, but also a bunch of his other friends to go. Of all the people he invited, he neglected to ask the ONE person he promised to go with. I told him it was rude and inconsiderate etc. He asked his friends if I was being unreasonable, failing to mention the fact he promised to go with me, and took it as I don't want him to have a life outside of me, not to mention all his friends think i'm crazy.

I've mentioned NUMEROUS times I want him to go out with his frenz, to have activities and stuff with them because I'm too busy in school to hang out with him all the time. Yet he still reverts to thinking that I'm some crazy monster wanting to keep him in the house for myself.

Every single time we argue, he says he's done with the marriage. He bought me a puppy recently, and today when we fought, I needed to get space and tried to leave with my puppy. he wouldn't let me leave. Then he got in my face, started punching the walls beside me, and said if I try to take the dog I'd have to go through him.

I knew I had a bad temper, but I didn't think it was out of the ordinary. 

So today when we were supposed to bake cookies (finals are done finally!), he got up after we watched tv for 3hours to clean his room at the exact moment I said we should bake cookies. I got really mad as it seemed like he didn't want to do it, and shouldn't have said yes in the first place. He said he wanted to clean up already and I asked why he couldn't have done it before we were supposed to bake.
I started wrapping presents and ignored him and he told me I was unreasonable and should leave. Apparently he meant to leave his room and not the house because he wouldn't let me leave the house. with or without the dog.

I don't understand if I'm crazy or if this is abuse waiting to happen. Telling me you don't want to see my face means to me, to leave the house. And then not letting me leave the house, seems kind of crazy to me.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel trapped and can't leave as I don't know where to go, or what to do with my stuff, or how to afford living on my own as we based my finances on him paying the mortgage until I was done school.


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## HM3 (Aug 18, 2010)

It sounds like abuse to me and here's why - the punching of the wall (once a physical incident takes place, it usually escalates and gets worse, it could be you getting hurt next), most people that are victims feel like they're the ones going crazy, and the changing of plans - you both agreed to bake cookies, but then he goes off to do something else first, and makes you wait. The waiting/changing plans is a tactic abusers use.

I've said it a thousand times, but please read Lundy Bancroft's book on angry and controlling men. See if you see him in the book and that would confirm it.

The punching wall is very worrying, please put your safety first.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

I think you may have overeacted on the movie scenario, but everything after screams signs of RED FLAGS!!!

These situations usually get worse... not better. U'll fight some more, patch it up... get engaged. Fight some more, patch it up... get married. All the time he pushes the envelope of aggression. Stopping someone from leaving... is actually a federal offense (well, misdeamon if he doesn't threaten with weapons). Yes, he is breaking the law even if he doesn't touch you. Its called unlawful restraint. You see the pattern emerging... it is up to you to decide is he worth the risk. Next time he says you should leave... take him up on it and go.


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