# What are you doing Valentine's Day?



## No1Dad (Oct 15, 2009)

Quick Question for all you who are separated... What are you planning to do on Valentine's Day? I know it's tough to compare because each situation is different, but are you getting together with your spouse? Sending a gift or card? Doing nothing?

Me, I have written a card and plan to mail it. We've been separated just since Feb. 1 to "work on ourselves for a while." Maybe I'll write my story for you later, but can you say in a few sentences where you're at in the separation and what you're doing for Valentine's Day?


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

probably nothing for me, we are separated with an agreement but still live in the same house. It will be strange for me, first time in 22 years......
A heartfelt note is a nice idea......good luck with your separation be patient and just work on yourself.......


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## harley2003 (Feb 8, 2010)

I am going out with friends. I do have a card for her though. But then again we are not legally separated yet since she hasn't officially moved out to be with her new love.

And yes this Valentines Day will suck.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

My W is living with the OM. The kids will be with me on Valentines. I plan on spending the day with them and family. No card for the cheating W.


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## Sun (Nov 23, 2009)

I asked this same question not that long ago. I agree, it will be hard to not think about the other person on a day that is dedicated to love. No matter the reason for your divorce or separation, a day like that makes you think about them. I could not imagine still living in the same house and not being together, I do not know how you do it. This will be my first V-day as a divorcée and it has seems a little odd going to the stores and seeing all the Valentine stuff and knowing that I have no one to buy it for or no one to buy it for me. I guess I am glad it is on a Sunday this way I go to bed early and just get up for work the next day.


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## ZoeCat (Nov 20, 2009)

This is my first valentines day without my soon to be ex. I am trying not to think about what he may be doing for his new girlfriends. My co-worker has a band performing on Saturday night. I work with an older woman who doesn't get out much and we are going on a "date" to see them perform. Two single women looking to get into some trouble! Her face lit up when I invited her so I feel good doing something nice for her! I'll probably spend Sunday with my true valentines: my 2 dogs and 2 cats!!


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## blacksage (Apr 28, 2009)

Glad it is not just me. I will alone for the first time in 10 or 11 years. It is going to suck. You guys are more productive than me. I was thinking of going to costco...I need socks 

Maybe I'll see if one of my single lady friends will let me take them out.


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## ZoeCat (Nov 20, 2009)

Blacksage: If I lived nearby, I'd meet you at costco for pizza or a hotdog


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

It will be almost 15 years for me. My kids will keep me sane. I won't worry about my W at all. I'm sure the OM has something planned but whatever it is rest assured it will NOT be what she expects. There's no way he has gathered all of her likes and dislikes only within the last 4 months. 

She will be expecting breakfast in bed (strawberry crepes and a glass of water with crushed ice), gerber daisies, and a card from each child as well as her valentine. I always make the crepes that morning. Usually throw in some chocolate covered strawberries as a bonus. 

Who knows what she'll be getting? My guess is the old standard - roses - which she absolutely hates. That and a box of chocolates (she was on a diet). I'm sure it will be "different" for her too. Her loss.

Kids and I will make crepes and strawberries for ourselves Valentines morning and we will have a blast!!!


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I was thinking of sending myself flowers. Instead, I am going to be a nice outfit! Happy V-Day to me.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

awesome 

good for you!


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I have a New Valentine I am going out with to a nice resteraunt that is BYOB. I have a toast planned:

"To all of our old loves and to new ones." (trying to be positive)


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## magmag (Dec 2, 2009)

Well since we are still living in the same house, I really can't get away from him for the day. It's really going to be hard. 
Part of our problems have been that I don't listen well enough to what he says so I'm going to prove to him that I can. During a talk last week he mentioned a dish that his mom used to make that he loved and hasn't had in about 20yrs. I called his mom and got the recipe and I'm going to make it for him for dinner. Along with his favorite dessert. I got him a card and a magazine subscription too.

I'm, of course, hoping that he'll take the opportunity to finally admit that he does love me and is willing to give me the inch I've been asking for (marriage counseling).


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## Sun (Nov 23, 2009)

Corpuswife said:


> I was thinking of sending myself flowers. Instead, I am going to be a nice outfit! Happy V-Day to me.


CW, I am with you. No self pity party for me. My marriage ended because of me and he has long moved on. I am going to go out and buy myself a new outfit today and get a manicure and have an* " I love ME day!!!!" *
I have always hated roses and chocolates do make me fat and expensive jewelry has always just sat in my drawer.


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## akay (Feb 3, 2010)

I'm still in a place of understanding, and still trying to convince the W that this is really not what she wants or needs. I got 13x purple roses (her favorite), and am in the process of writting down 13x specifiec instances (one for each year that we have been togeather) that we were in love. I also purchesed her a spa package so that she can spend a day having herself pampered. It is my sincere hope that she will realize that all that we have had in the past is not lost, and join me in the fight for the future. Well a guy can hope right?


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## motox623 (Feb 11, 2010)

I probably won't be doing anything. It is actuall my wife and I 1 year aniversary. And she just came to me saying she wants a divorce just this last Monday and has feelings for a co worker so this valentines day is going to be extremely difficult on me seeing as we have a 3 month son together and its our aniversary. : (
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

I'm going to see an action movie at a matinee and do some shopping.

My divorce will be final on the 23rd of this month and it's time for a new beginning...


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## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

I think I plan on spending some time at the office. I left the W a card on the table, and I'm thinking about taking my mom out to lunch. At least there is always 1 woman in my life I can always count on!


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## Notaclue (Jan 1, 2010)

motox623 said:


> I probably won't be doing anything. It is actuall my wife and I 1 year aniversary. And she just came to me saying she wants a divorce just this last Monday and has feelings for a co worker so this valentines day is going to be extremely difficult on me seeing as we have a 3 month son together and its our aniversary. : (
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sorry Moto thats tough. Hang in there and post on this site often, there are a lot of good people that will help and have gone through this type of tragedy. I will be praying for you and your son tomorrow.


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## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

motox623 said:


> I probably won't be doing anything. It is actuall my wife and I 1 year aniversary. And she just came to me saying she wants a divorce just this last Monday and has feelings for a co worker so this valentines day is going to be extremely difficult on me seeing as we have a 3 month son together and its our aniversary. : (
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I hear you brother...all to well. My wife decided she wanted to get a divorce Sunday night. Hold your head up and keep coming back here, it helps!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## boarderwayne (Feb 14, 2010)

motox623 said:


> I probably won't be doing anything. It is actuall my wife and I 1 year aniversary. And she just came to me saying she wants a divorce just this last Monday and has feelings for a co worker so this valentines day is going to be extremely difficult on me seeing as we have a 3 month son together and its our aniversary. : (
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I feel you man, my 1yr anniversary is next Sunday the 21st and my wife left me a month ago today. I don't have the extra stress of a child which I'm glad right now but sucks at the same time, would love to be a dad. Hang in there man, you may loose her but you'll always have your son. As for my V-day, I'm going on a "man-date" with an old buddy i haven't seen in a while, have a few beers and watch some basketball.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Come to think of it, my stb-x's first date with me was Valentines Day, 1992. She cooked me dinner and I brought a single red rose. I kissed her that night.

In addition to meeting my new Valentine for dinner and some romance, I think I will remember the day with some happiness in that regard. Instead of being a pity party, I will remember the day as a happy time with an old love and with a new love. 

I will call my children and maybe put my wife on the phone and tell her for just one day, I am putting aside the bad feelings with divorce and remembering a happy day.

I can't just focus on the pain the rest of my life - it isn't healthy for me, my new Valentine, for my kids, for God, for anyone.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

Happy Valentines Day everyone - make it a good one


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## wren (Aug 19, 2009)

I ate chocolate peanut butter cheesecake for breakfast.
I am going to be good to myself today and allow myself to feel whatever I feel.

Happy Valentine's Day! <3


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## katie jane (Oct 26, 2009)

im going to hide under my blankets till its over  !!

Im going to hold Cupid prisoner for being a menace to society!!!


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## Nice Guys Finish Last (Jan 4, 2010)

Even though my W doesnt make the effort to contact me in our 2 months of separation, I sent a dozen roses and some chocolates. I didn't ask for a date or lunch or anything like that. I'm constantly wondering if I or she should make a move to make contact today - i dont know what to do. I sent her a simple message, I dont even know if i mean it. "wishing you the love and happiness that you deserve"


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## Notaclue (Jan 1, 2010)

wren said:


> I ate chocolate peanut butter cheesecake for breakfast.
> I am going to be good to myself today and allow myself to feel whatever I feel.
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day! <3


Wren, what a wonderful idea ! Think I'll go out and get some cheesecake for me and my daughter today after lunch. Hope you have a good day today !


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## Notaclue (Jan 1, 2010)

Nice Guys Finish Last said:


> Even though my W doesnt make the effort to contact me in our 2 months of separation, I sent a dozen roses and some chocolates. I didn't ask for a date or lunch or anything like that. I'm constantly wondering if I or she should make a move to make contact today - i dont know what to do. I sent her a simple message, I dont even know if i mean it. "wishing you the love and happiness that you deserve"


Think you did more than enough NGFL, if she wants to contact you she knows your number. Maybe she will miss you more if you don't contact her. Did she even reply to the message yet ?

Kind of a fine line between pursuing her to the point that she gets even more determined to stay separated and not contacting her and making her miss you. Only you can decide what is right. Just be careful not to drive her away even further.


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## Nice Guys Finish Last (Jan 4, 2010)

Notaclue said:


> Think you did more than enough NGFL, if she wants to contact you she knows your number. Maybe she will miss you more if you don't contact her. Did she even reply to the message yet ?
> 
> Kind of a fine line between pursuing her to the point that she gets even more determined to stay separated and not contacting her and making her miss you. Only you can decide what is right. Just be careful not to drive her away even further.


yeah thanks Notaclue, i was thinking along the same lines. She does have my number. She sent me a text yesterday saying thanks for the flowers and kind words....I did not respond. And I dont think i'll make contact today, even though it is killing me.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

My W contacted out oldest daughter yesterday to ask if she knew were the OM would be taking her on Valentine's day - what a inconsiderate thing to ask.

Anyways, I made strawberry crepes for breakfast with the kids. We just finished making chocolate covered strawberries and will be heading to the park on our bicycles for a picnic with their grandparents and aunt. 

We are having a great day regardless of where the W is.


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## Notaclue (Jan 1, 2010)

Sounds great Help, That sounds like a great day for you and your kids. Had a great lunch with my daughter and spent a nice day with her. I think we are starting to learn how to take care of ourselves.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

Yeah, we are 

Kids are gonna call their mother to say goodnight in a bit. We had a great day. Ended it with a BBQ dinner - and a short dip in the jacuzzi. I'm sure they will sleep soundly tonight in their own beds because of the exercise at the park.

All in all a great day - good memories.


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