# How emotional are you?



## Smoke (Jul 17, 2012)

According to my wife, I am not nearly enough. I haven't cried since I was at a friends funeral when I was 17. I never cried at my wedding, or the births of my children. When my kids get hurt and cry, I tell them to toughen up. (My boys anyways. When my daughter gets hurt and cries, she gets all the huggin' she can handle)

I don't talk about my emotions either. I'm a bottler. I don't need to burden someone else with my problems. They have their own problems to deal with and don't need mine stacked up on them too.

Whenever I say "I'm feeling..." It always ends with either "hungry" or "Horny".

But the crying part really gets her. Is it so bad not to cry?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

"I used to be a stone, never cried. My wife asked me about it and said it's healthy for a man to cry. A few days later something hit me that upset me and I broke down and cried like a baby. It felt great. My wife was touched too, but after about 30 seconds of it she started to wonder, "Why did I marry this ****ing hamster?""

-Dennis Miller


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I am pretty emotional and overreact a lot....but I am getting better. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Unbelievable! How you respond to emotional issues is yours to decide. Whether you cry or not doesn't mean you aren't affected by events around you and don't have feelings. It has been socially unacceptable for men to cry extensively in the past and it still is seen by many as unmanly. You sound like you display affection and I assume you are not some uncaring, undemonstrative psychopath. If that is true, I would tell your wife to handle her emotional reactions as she sees fit and you will handle yours. Who is she to decide whether you should cry or not!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I really did try to be logical, rational and measured. Some good that did me. I can think of situations in which people demanded what they want without any regard to proportionality.

But I am not there yet. for example, it wasn't until I found out that my fiancé had offered taxi fare to his "just a friend" when he couldn't even be bothered to wait for the bus with me (when I was paying my own fare.) I should have been asking him to wait with me just because that's something a guy does when he cares.

His answer to me was "that I seemed to be so independent." So c'mon guys, are you much happier holding a needy clingy basket case or would you prefer someone who manage a life on her own.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

no I am not very emotional....crying seems like a total waste of time for me . haven't cried for over 20yrs.

the last time I cried when I was done I just thought that was the most unproductive thing I could have done. 

anger is an emotion I can do! happy is an emotion I can do but crying just make me feel like a big whimp because when your done you still have to deal with whatever made you cry in the first place!


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Yeah I'm emotional. Hubby isn't. But then i knew that when we got married. Not much point worrying about or trying to change something that personality based now.

I'm more concerned about your sons... why do you cuddle your daughter and not your sons when they hurt themselves? Do think it will make them more manly? (I iwould magine it will make them uncaring)

I can assure you men/boys have all the same nerve endings and pain receptors that women have.

PS: I have 3 sons...none are wimps. None are sooks.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I think my exH was very emotional. For example, we would have dinner parties. IMO, the best thing to happen after a dinner party is getting an invitation to a party from one (or more even) of our guests.

My exH? he really cherished the pretty cards and stationery of thank you notes that were sent to us after the dinner party. It's possible that it would be 6 months or a year before he hear from those guests again. But that card appeared to be more important to him than a return invite.


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## Smoke (Jul 17, 2012)

waiwera said:


> I'm more concerned about your sons... why do you cuddle your daughter and not your sons when they hurt themselves? Do think it will make them more manly? (I iwould magine it will make them uncaring)


I may have made that sound a little harsher than it actually is. I comfort them, in a different way. The basis for this is EW related and deserves it's own thread.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Smoke said:


> But the crying part really gets her. Is it so bad not to cry?


Might be bad for a woman. I wouldn't know


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## Nala051 (Jul 21, 2012)

You sound normal to me. If you're able to deal with your emotions in ways other than crying, there's nothing wrong with that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

Smoke said:


> According to my wife, I am not nearly enough. I haven't cried since I was at a friends funeral when I was 17. I never cried at my wedding, or the births of my children. When my kids get hurt and cry, I tell them to toughen up. (My boys anyways. When my daughter gets hurt and cries, she gets all the huggin' she can handle)
> 
> I don't talk about my emotions either. I'm a bottler. I don't need to burden someone else with my problems. They have their own problems to deal with and don't need mine stacked up on them too.
> 
> ...


You sound exactly like my husband. I don't see an issue with not crying all the time.

It's my personal preference that my husband DOESN'T cry often. Nothing against them, it's just not my thing.

I'm all about the stereotypical manly man.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Neither my husband or I cry. And I'm so over trying to make more of what my husband is feeling than he truly is. As long as he tells when something is wrong (no bottling) I'm good. Who cares if he cries or not? I just don't get that.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Smoke said:


> I may have made that sound a little harsher than it actually is. I comfort them, in a different way. The basis for this is EW related and deserves it's own thread.


Cool. Cause we all needs a cuddle when we're in pain.

Whats EW? Thought I knew most of the abbreviations.


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## Hellioness (Jul 6, 2012)

waiwera said:


> Cool. Cause we all needs a cuddle when we're in pain.
> 
> Whats EW? Thought I knew most of the abbreviations.


:iagree: What's EW?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Smoke said:


> According to my wife, I am not nearly enough. I haven't cried since I was at a friends funeral when I was 17. I never cried at my wedding, or the births of my children. When my kids get hurt and cry, I tell them to toughen up. (My boys anyways. When my daughter gets hurt and cries, she gets all the huggin' she can handle)
> 
> I don't talk about my emotions either. I'm a bottler. I don't need to burden someone else with my problems. They have their own problems to deal with and don't need mine stacked up on them too.
> 
> ...



I definitely feel it is Healthy... if one is feeling strong emotions... to be ABLE to let loose & allow a tear to show... with those we are the closest to in this world..., those we have shared the good times & the bad, those who know us inside & out...mainly our spouses. 

There is such a thing as being "OVERLY emotional" >> where we allow our feelings to be like a run away train - heading for a wreck if we don't get them in check. I am not talking about this. 

***** But to FEEL the highest highs of life (and not be on drugs to do so)...to experience those "mountain top moments ... and even the deepest pain.. and not to NUMB it or bottle it -but to express it with your spouse - the Joys & the pain.... We want this....it heightens the HIGHS and halfs the lows.... This helps us in life ! This is "vulnerability" at it's core. .... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...r-its-pain-its-beauty-how-vulnerable-you.html


I would feel all women desire a SENSITIVE MAN...a man who "feels" & is not ashamed of feeling... .... how he handles those emotions will show his maturity. (for us women too!)
But surely there is a time & a place for men to express their hearts FULLY, unabashedly- with their wives, thier lovers. 

Like the birth of our children, holding them in our arms the 1st time, how about after many kids, a happy marriage...holding your wife dancing to the song you danced at your wedding 30 yrs before....those memories flooding you... a feeling of overwhelming thankfulness comes upon you -that you are sharing this moment here & now....such gratitude welling inside for each other...that they are "still the one"...allowing a tear or tears to show is "beautiful" ...it is unspoken but so moving. You are in tune... these are the moments you will remember on your death bed. 

For instance.....if this song comes on the radio while me & my husband are in the truck....  Remember When - Alan Jackson ....It grabs his heart .....his eyes might get a little glassy......Me..... I freaking BALL !! This also happens with  Cats in the Cradle -Harry Chapin--- he has definitely teared up over that one ...near every time ~ In fact I scramble to turn the station sometimes -cause I ain't up for my mascara running -depending on where we are headed! 

But yet.... these are JOYFUL moments...because it represents a life full of treasured memories ... we don't want it to ever end...THIS is what brings the tears. 

Being able to be this openly vulnerable with each other...is a sign of emotional freedom of who we are and knowing we are wholly accepted by our spouse....we have nothing to hold back...so we yeild to each other... What this gives to each of us... is a feeling of love that is greater than even words can express. 

So yes...it would bother me a great deal if my husband could NOT do this with me. I would question if he has a WALL of hurt built up, if he has resentment, bottling often goes there... if he FEARS showing this side of himself to me...after all men are taught "Big Boys don't cry". 

Worse yet....I may wonder if he is a man lacking feelings, sensitivity......is he COLD to life, conscienceless, callus, unmovable.. 

If one has learned to bottle and NUMB his/her feelings... the problem with this is....when we numb the BAD (the lows & hurts of life)... we also numb the GOOD (the mountain tops, our highest highs)... we can't selectively choose what we want to numb... It just doesn't work that way!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My husband has cried twice in the 5 years I've known him (minus some really touching/rough moments at the beginning of our separation....but he just holds the tears in and doesn't make any sound lol but I see it welling!). Anyway, the two times was once when talking about his family growing up...he started remember some HORRIBLE abuse and he let a few tears escape. The second time was when his best friend committed suicide (2.5 years ago)...he let a few tears escape. He's emotional, but doesn't show it. It doesn't bother me.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

I am a woman and almost no one in my life has ever seen me cry or show any kind of emotion. I have only cried a hand full of times in front of my husband in our 8 years together. As a result I realize I am viewed as unapproachable by some and people are afraid to be vulnerable in front of me, I guess thinking I can't relate. It actually bugs me quite a bit. Even H has shared the same sentiment. 

H is even less emotional than me. He rarely shows anything good or bad, which means he is pretty flatline. Its hard to tell if he even likes or hates something because he wont express it.

I think it's all a matter of personality differences.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

I wish that I were LESS emotional, honestly. I'm the emotional one in our relationship, my husband is not. The only time it really bothers me is when we get into an intense argument and he's able to go right to sleep, yet I'm up all night worrying about it. Drives me crazy!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I totally lost it the night after my guy friend had a brain hemorrhage and I'd found him near dead in a coma. I was marginal while he was in surgery...my heart area hurt really bad. 
Then the next night sleeping on the sofa at home I woke up and started in with hysterical crying, coupled with gasping for air, sobbing and a doozy of a nose bleed. I have never cried so hard in my life. The closest I came was when I left Beijing and had to leave behind my nanny/friend/Ayi (auntie) of nearly two years. (She cried too, and people at the airport started in as well...)
I lost it again when my friend's sister didn't want me to see him and verbally attacked me in the icu unit, and again when he went to rehab 6 weeks later. That was more of an extreme anxiety reaction than crying though. I had the start of anaphylactic shock and had to go to get stuff for it, just barely made it to the VA hospital.
I continued to cry every time someone in my town asked me how I was doing.
For my own good, I accepted therapy and sedatives.
Now when sh*t happens I feel it but I don't react so strongly.
I take it home and deal with it in my own time.
Or wait for Quaker Meeting and better discernment, which invariably happens.
Have not heard from my friend since May 9. But am doing okay, maybe even great. Sometimes I might feel a twinge of guilt, but honestly, what else can I do but to get on with my own life, under these circumstances? I've had a lot of revelations about inner feelings and all that. Things are not what they might seem, emotionally, sometimes what you think you are feeling is not comprised of all the ingredients you might first guess at.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Depends on the day.

Some days I'm extremely emotional & could blow up, or breakdown & cry (my friends would probably prefer the later) at a drop of a pin.

Other days, it doesn't faze me... I just keep plugging on thru all the stress. It's not until about 20 mins after I leave work & start to relax , that the massive killer headaches come on.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Smoke said:


> According to my wife, I am not nearly enough. I haven't cried since I was at a friends funeral when I was 17. I never cried at my wedding, or the births of my children. When my kids get hurt and cry, I tell them to toughen up. (My boys anyways. When my daughter gets hurt and cries, she gets all the huggin' she can handle)
> 
> I don't talk about my emotions either. I'm a bottler. I don't need to burden someone else with my problems. They have their own problems to deal with and don't need mine stacked up on them too.
> 
> ...


Must be bad. The only constructive criticism my ex ever gave to me was that I wasn't emotional enough when things weren't going well for me.
Of course this was before I found out she was cheating.
The last time I cried I was in the 2nd grade and some brat who was in the 7th kneed me in the nuts permanently damaging my right testicle.
It took me years to get even with him, but I sure as hell did.


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

My hubby hasn't cried since he was a teen. They stuck him on some drugs and he's never been ok since. Well at minimum that's what he tells me. I too wish at least once I could see him cry. He just doesn't seem like a person to me.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I've seen my husband cry three times in about five years... Once was after one of our first fights - it was terrible. He woke me the next morning in tears. I could tell that he was sincerely remorseful for the things he said and the way he acted. Well, then. Not anymore.

I don't want to be married to a crybaby, but I wouldn't mind a little more emotional expression from him. He bottles his feelings as well. :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HereWithoutYou (Jul 26, 2012)

I'm a big baby lol. I cry when I'm happy, sad, scared, angry...


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

I can cry. I was raised to not fear displaying emotions(tears, anger, etc.) I have been known to bottle up as well. I use to cry often, but I rarely cry since W and I separated. She always said she liked the fact I displayed emotions, especially since her father was cruel and only displayed anger through violence.
I say to each their own, but it best to try to meet people at a common ground, not insult each other for our difference in display of emotions. Hurling insults is definitely a waste of time for couples.


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## Needpeace (May 24, 2012)

I don't cry about normal everyday life happenings, I did cry often when our 6 y/o daughter was on chemo for 3-4 years (secretly in the shower) watching her suffer & living with that uncertainty really scared me. 

My husband doesn't usually show emotion through tears, his silence is usually very telling. I have only ever seen him cry a handful of times in 27 years, this being when all 3 kids were born/when a TV program reported on our daughter accompanied with the Coldplay song "Fix You", he really cried over that to the point of leaving the room and going for a walk around our property, I think he really let it out, he hadn't showed any emotion up to that point, I don't know maybe he thought he had to be strong for me, he was quite switched off during this time mainly focusing on other unrelated distractions, maybe it just hurt him too much to think about. The only other time he has cried is when I made a movie about our daughters journey to a Sarah McLachlan song "Answer", maybe you should see it, I think it may hit a nerve.

I don't find a man crying a sign of weakness it shows he has a heart, but in saying that I wouldn't like my husband to cry over every little thing, I think that would be a turn off for me. I think it is up to the individual as to how they display there emotions, everyone is different.


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## Needpeace (May 24, 2012)

I just upload this little movie to youtube, have never thought about sharing this before, but you may like to have a look 

Alyvia's Answer - YouTube

I hope it works


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

Hello, 

This is a common complaint that women have about their partners.
It originates from a basic difference in behavior that is misunderstood. 

The natural male tendency is to talk about facts not feelings and keep emotions inside and present a strong confident exterior avoiding showing weakness. This is a deep ancient system that evolved in our brains in prehistoric time when gender roles where very specific. Men hunted and competed for power and resources hence the factual language and no emotions/weakness.

The natural female tendency is to share feelings much more freely and in the process feel good. The language is often more poetic and subtle with hints, allusions and indirectness. 

Hence what she is really telling you about being more emotional needs translating. She does not want you to literally cry more, in fact ironically she will loose some attraction to you if you did. She does want the strong solid demeanor you have. 

What she actually means is that you hurt her by appearing to be cold and unloving towards her especially when you are stressed or concentrated on important issues which make you naturally withdraw within yourself. She also would probably like you to listen to her emotions more and be emphatic and supportive instead of offering advice or acting defensive.

This cycle is one of the key skills both of you need to have in your relationship. Misunderstandings here are responsible for many relationship breakdowns. 

For a good explanation of this cycle and how to properly manage it I suggest the book: John Gray - Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I don't usually cry,I just get silent.
But once during an argument , my wife said something and I just put my head on the desk and cried.
She did't know at first, but when she realized I was silently crying she apologized for daaaays.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Smoke said:


> According to my wife, I am not nearly enough. I haven't cried since I was at a friends funeral when I was 17. I never cried at my wedding, or the births of my children. When my kids get hurt and cry, I tell them to toughen up. (My boys anyways. When my daughter gets hurt and cries, she gets all the huggin' she can handle)
> 
> I don't talk about my emotions either. I'm a bottler. I don't need to burden someone else with my problems. They have their own problems to deal with and don't need mine stacked up on them too.
> 
> ...


I think it all depends on what the crying is about. I interviewed a guy once who ten minutes in started crying. I’d asked him about his family and when talking of his children he had tears in his eyes. I hired him and his wife told me he’s always like it. When I talk of my son to friends I can feel tears of joy coming into my eyes. It’s a fantastic feeling.

There are different types of tears, tears of joy, of pain, of sadness.

“Crying” is different, crying suggests sobbing, a weakness, a loss of control, helplessness which is far from manly.


I think you need to be very careful that you don’t come across as indifferent towards your wife because that sure does hurt a person. Empathy actually involves feeling the emotions another is feeling and that is the source of compassion for the situation they are in.

If your wife is telling you that you lack empathy and compassion then to her you will be a very cold person. Believe me emotions are good in a man and believe me we have them. And there will be a time in our life when we discover just how deep and powerful, how all consuming they can be.

Maybe you are suppressing your emotions but you are not aware of it because they sure as heck will be there. Maybe you’re not very intelligent about your emotions if so you have a great deal to learn and to benefit from, take a read of http://www.amazon.co.uk/Emotional-I...8306/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343391778&sr=8-1 to understand them and http://www.amazon.co.uk/Awareness-A...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343391808&sr=1-1 to know when you are having them. Both books will help you greatly inside and outside your marriage.


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## still.trying (Jul 27, 2012)

You just did talk about your feelings! Try writing notes or letters to your wife instead of talking to her when she is trying to provoke emotion out of you. Some people cannot verbalize what they are are feeling, but when they start to write it just flows out.


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## Smoke (Jul 17, 2012)

I have revealed more about my feelings to you guys than anyone else. EVER. It's one of my first steps in changing some of the things I do to help my marriage. 

I have caught myself welling up inside a few times, but I always hold it in. I never ever saw my Dad cry, and I think I am just taking a play out of his book.

BTW from my earlier post EW= Ex Wife. Or did I use the wrong one?


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

I've been known to cry once in a while..My Ex would tell me she hates me and I could feel it welling up inside...

I don't feel like crying when needed, is a sign of weakness.....


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Yesterday was a terrible day. I had to put down the phone in mid conver and walk away.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Needpeace said:


> I just upload this little movie to youtube, have never thought about sharing this before, but you may like to have a look
> 
> Alyvia's Answer - YouTube
> 
> I hope it works


Okay. I'm crying. (Not like that's hard to do to me), but I wanted to say how beautiful your little girl is. A very inspiring video!  Thank you for sharing!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

One thing that made my husband cry - watching the movie "Legend". When Will Smith's character kills his dog, Sam. I bawl like an idiot... But I was surprised to look over and see tears running down his face. Beautiful. He IS human, after all! :lol: 

He didn't cry when our daughter was born... I think he was just too stunned and excited! LoL! Me too! I remember wondering why I wasn't crying joyously like you're "supposed" to. The first time my daughter made me cry was when I saw her cry her own tears for the first time. I totally choked... And I don't choke up that often. Weird feeling...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

I like to think that I'm bound by cool, emotionless logic, and I am to some degree... but I would say that I'm fairly emotional, or at least in touch with my emotions.

PS- cry if you want to; if you don't, then that's cool, too


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Smoke said:


> I have revealed more about my feelings to you guys than anyone else. EVER. It's one of my first steps in changing some of the things I do to help my marriage.
> 
> I have caught myself welling up inside a few times, but I always hold it in. I never ever saw my Dad cry, and I think I am just taking a play out of his book.
> 
> BTW from my earlier post EW= Ex Wife. Or did I use the wrong one?


I think these things really strange between man and woman. If a woman cries in front of her man, then he’ll delight in her vulnerability, the fact that she can do that with him and he’ll want to comfort her, make her feel safe and secure.

On the other hand, if a man cries in front of his woman she’ll see him as weak and wont have a clue what to do. I think this is life.

I also think it the same if a man cries in front of a mate. It’s way too soft, too in the feminine. Men do cry, but they do it by themselves and I believe they make a grave mistake doing it any other way.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Some women also take delight in a man's vulnerability as well, although we don't want to see it every day. It's of comfort to me personally, to just know it's THERE. 

On the other hand, my ex was very emotional and sensitive - and I absolutely loved this about him. He was far from "weak" in my eyes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

kag123 said:


> I think it's all a matter of personality differences.





3leafclover said:


> I trust logic more than emotions. I don't think most people who know me would put "emotional" anywhere in the top ten list of my defining characteristics.


I do feel our inborn Temperment plays a role in our behavior..... for those who are *T*HINKING over *F*EELING .....they will be naturally less emotional than the "Feelers" among them. Can take the test here to learn your specific Temperment profile (1 of 16) :  The Gray-Wheelwright-Winer 4-letter Type Indicator Test  .

Notice below the Feelers are more "*personal*"... the Thinkers are more "*logical*". 










.... To find a healthy balance between these 2 is what we all need in life & our relationships....we likely have a "scale" within our temperments even. Those who are very high in THINKING likely have less emotional response to someone closer to the Feeling on their scale. 

The Rule of Balance--Logical Mind vs. Emotional Heart

My Husband's temperment is primarily FEELING (*F*) and mine is accually split between the Thinking and Feeling (giving me an "*X*"). Even though I more easily tear up over him. 

I know I am mostly "controlled" though out & about.....I can't even think of a time where I openly cried in front of a friend...and I can't recall ever crying at a funeral .... Although I have gotten "glassy eyed" upon hearing some stories spoken to me -because they were so very moving....SO happy for them or moved by empathy for what they are going through...
.... I have also teared up during the singing at church a # of times over the yrs...the words in music -just has a way of getting to me...this again, is generally "gratitude" rising up. 

Also, during PMS, I am clearly more emotional, I can cry over a Hallmark commercial, plus if something sets me off, I am worse to deal with, all emotions heightened, whether good or bad...I am simply more emotional /hormonal. 

I believe my husband is well controlled for a "feeling" MAN though....as I have never seen him cry out of weakness -not once. I have seen him RANT or he will express how he feels when he is upset.... but never tears.... he has only showed tears at 2 funerals I can think of...his Fathers ...and he got a little teary eyed at a friends- while we were standing in line waiting to greet his wife -he was reminiscing the good times when they worked together...and it got to him, alot of memories there. 


We do have 1 son though.....He needs some Balance ! Just turned 11, he will cry far too easy...and at the smallest things...VERY emotional. It is obvious he is high on the Richter scale in the "FEELING".... We are sure hoping he grows out of this, he is even worse than his sister 2 yrs younger. He will appear a HUGE baby if he doesn't tougher up a little & get a handle on his emotions.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Smoke said:


> According to my wife, I am not nearly enough. I haven't cried since I was at a friends funeral when I was 17. I never cried at my wedding, or the births of my children. When my kids get hurt and cry, I tell them to toughen up. (My boys anyways. When my daughter gets hurt and cries, she gets all the huggin' she can handle)
> 
> I don't talk about my emotions either. I'm a bottler. I don't need to burden someone else with my problems. They have their own problems to deal with and don't need mine stacked up on them too.
> 
> ...


So maybe she just wants to know what you're feeling/thinking. Let her in. Being a 'bottler' to me means that those emotions are suppressed and still need to emerge somehow. Who is this 'they' who have their own problems to deal with? This is about your wife and family. If anybody is going to be privy to your thoughts and feelings, it's them. 


I have seen my husband cry, and boy, just thinking about that stirs the deep upset and heartbreak I felt for him in that moment. It takes a strong person to be vulnerable. 

I don't cry very often but I know when I have, it's made my husband feel a similar way. Seeing the one you love so dearly in pain like that, hurts us too. But if that emotion needs to come out, then it does. There's nothing to apologize for or make it conditional....... emotions don't have to be of upset or worry either. Lots of opportunity to share radiance and joy too!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I'm not very emotional. I was raised in a family that functioned on logic, even my mom.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

...sorry just wanted to add....when I did see my husband cry, I felt incredibly humbled. I don't know if that's quite the right word to describe it but it's the feeling that comes to mind. Humbled that he was so vulnerable, humbled by the emotion he was feeling, humbled by his realness. I don't know if that makes any sense but there ya have it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

AFEH said:


> If a woman cries in front of her man, then he’ll delight in her vulnerability, the fact that she can do that with him and he’ll want to comfort her, make her feel safe and secure.


 My husband DELIGHTS in this... he has told me so (especially when it is mushy over him).... he would never want to take that away. It is never too much either...I have asked. 


When we met, I had somewhat of a BAD attitude, I can be a bit of a hard a$$... I have my moments! I almost KNOW his seeing, feeling, experiencing this softer side, this emotionally vulnerable side...this gave him faith early on...that Yeah...she can be difficult at times.....but she has HEART..and lots of it .. he was attracted to that.

And of course our men want to be our Comforters in the storms of life....that strong unwavering Tower, that ROCK we can depend on.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

When I cry in front of hubs... he just rolls his eyes & tries to aggressively ignore me.

Unless you're talking about happy tears... Then he's over the moon.


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