# Newlywed



## Maxno (Aug 9, 2012)

You know it seems marriages don't last like they used to. I lived in fear of getting married. I'm an only child and my mother refused to be with another man after my father. I've been engaged twice and ran once the idea of hitting the altar became more of a reality. A girlfriend of mine was concerned that I had been single for too long and suggested I meet her brother in law. She promised there would be no sexual pressure and he would be respectful. I was sold on the idea, but did that really exist? There was a catch of course... He was in Europe. The only reason I ever got Facebook was for him. So we could meet. Face book turned into emails, Skype, and then phone calls. 8 months later he flew into the united states. I spent one week with his family and the following week we were married and I became a military wife. A few months later I couldn't stand the thought of being away from him any longer so upon government approval all of my belongings were moved to a military base in Europe. in the mean time I moved back in with my mom and wrapped things up in the US, education and career. The time finally came and I left my home to live in europe with my military husband. He is very sensitive. His family only calls when they need something, I have already had a negative experience with them, his friend accuses out marriage of changing things between them, and no matter how calm I try to express concerns to him he blows up. His ex is also stationed here and he just recently told me the reason we never go out when he is home is because he does not want to put me in that situation of running into his ex. I have really cut many details out of our story, but I feel awful. His relationship with this girl ended years ago and after hearing him say this to me I feel like he got married in attempts to get over her after she cheated on him while he was deployed. I confused. I feel like he come home from a job and we argue. I don't get along with his pot head friend and now I learned he is s ared to run into his ex with me at his side whom broke up with hi. In 2005 for mutual friend.


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## kate542 (Jul 25, 2012)

It seems like you didn't know this man before you got married, probably not the best of starts to married life. 
I guess he didn't mention the long term relationship he had with his X. 
I find it hard to believe that you can't go out without bumping into her, where do you live is it a very small community. If it is then just go catch a bus or go in the car some miles away to get out together and start enjoying your married life, this should be a wonderful time for you.
The X girlfriend can't control your lives together why would your husband allow this to happen. You are his first priority now not the X, you come before anyone and if he can't do this there is something wrong.


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## kate542 (Jul 25, 2012)

You need to have a serious conversation with him if you can and tell him how you feel and how miserable you are and see what his response is. If it positive work from there.


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## Maxno (Aug 9, 2012)

We were never physically in front of each other for a conversation. We got to know one another via Facebook and Skype. After 8 months of that we just hit it off so well. Like with most relationships in the beginning phases. I knew about the ex, but only because my friend (his sister in law )who hooked us up. She explained to me that he had been bitter since that break up, but to give him a chance because she felt we would really be great for one another. I believe we really are great for one another, but when we argue it's awful. His temper is very intimidating. He wouldn't hurt me, but his anger runs so deep when it's triggered and it can be over the smallest thing like a bad day at work. We spoke about the comment he made about his ex finally. He told me he didn't mean what he said, but how else was I supposed to take that? We don't go out around here because he doesn't want to put me in the situation of running into his ex. I took that statement for face value. He tried to turn the tables and tell me that I would feel the same way. I explained that I don't care if we ever run into any of my ex's. If they say hi, well then I introduce my husband to the guy as just another guy. It is not a big deal to me. We have traveled quite a bit since I have been here, but we don't go out to eat locally unless invited to be out with a group and we don't go to bars. We live in a small town. It's maybe a 30 minute drive to step out of the town. He tells me he prefers my cooking and doesn't want to have to deal with taking over crowds. I tell him I just want to go on a date every now and then to share new moments. I have trust issues all over again now. I can't seem to get what he said out of my head


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Tell him you want to go out with him. That it is ridiculous that he wants to stay in in order to avoid someone from his past. It's life. You WILL run into people from your past.

Tell him you exactly how you feel.


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