# How to give a good bj?



## young_lady (Nov 29, 2011)

Okay...I feel a little stupid even having to ask, but I have never been confident in my skills in this area. I know my hubby likes them, but I am always afraid of disappointing him.

Can some of you guys please give me some tips?


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Getting in the mood

Ladies, make sure he understands that when it comes to blowjobs, mood is everything. Soft lighting, candles, all of this plays a part in you being in the mood to go down on him. Why? Because it's relaxing, and neither one of you are going to have any fun if you're not relaxed. Start by taking a bath together, if you can find a tub big enough. If not, take a shower. This will ensure that you're both smelling fresh, too. For some, giving head is a form of foreplay. If oral sex is the height of tonight's romp, however, start with another type of foreplay by licking, tickling, touching, tasting, and massaging. You want to get excited, and enjoy this as much as he will.

Start with your hand

Have him lean back against some pillows or sit on the edge of the bed or a chair. He's a guy; it's going to feel good even if you have him dangling upside down on a light post. This position is for your comfort. Stroke him, gently (very gently) squeezing his balls and then releasing. Think of them as stress balls, but don't squeeze so hard. Ask if you're unsure; check with him about how he wants you to hold his ****. The point of this exercise is to get him as hot as possible before you even use your mouth. The more excited he is, the less time oral sex will take, and if he's the type to go all night in other positions, you're going to want this to be over before morning. This is not because you're not having a good time, it's because giving head can be exhausting for a woman. 

The tip of the penis and the base of the shaft are the two spots that you want to concentrate on when using your hand. Let your fingertips nibble for you at first. A very light touch, almost floating above the skin, is very tantric and exciting. If you take his hand and guide it to your clit, you can get him even more excited. When you're ready to use your mouth, the "69" position can be best to start with. He's getting excited, you're getting relaxed, and having you on top in the sixty nine position is by far the most comfortable for having that much **** in your throat. The angles of your throat and his penis will match much better in this position. Having him on top can make the blowjob a littler hard to control, so if this worries you, stay on top of him!

Go for the Throat

Now that he's hot and you're relaxed, you can take him in your mouth. Start with just your lips, and roll your tongue over the head of his penis. You can do this pretty much as long as you want, especially if you're still a little nervous. You don't want to hurt him, but you can't physically do this all night, it will cause your jaw and neck to hurt after awhile. 

Start slow and take as much of him into your throat as you can; stop and back off if you need to. Use the back of your tongue in a swallowing motion and run your tongue around the shaft of the **** as you swallow. Pull back out and start sucking on him like he was a Popsicle, he will love it. Suck as hard as you want unless he indicates that he needs you to stop. Alternate the lips, tongue, and throat to bring him to climax. And ladies, try to swallow. His cum won't hurt you and if he's been expecting oral sex, hopefully he's been drinking fruit juice, it adds natural sugars to the semen and makes it taste better. Either way, spitting and then jumping up to brush your teeth will ruin the mood.

If you need help and he takes too long, use your hands as well as your mouth - the added stimulation may be just what he needs.

The secret to good oral sex 

As much as you want to and love him, we talked about the pain in your neck and jaw. This will happen. The best technique for this to be as comfortable for as long as possible is to grab your jaw at the base and squeeze it with one hand. This relieves the pressure on the muscles around the jaw and will allow you to go longer. (This is another reason for soft lighting. If it's dark he probably won't notice what you are doing.)To take the pressure off your neck, as before, the "69" position is best for giving guys head.

The secret to not having to have his **** in your throat for an extended amount of time is to get him as hot as possible before you give him head. If you've already had sex tonight and he's cum once, forget giving head, unless you want it to take hours. If he's ready to burst before you even go down on him, it will still be pleasurable for both of you but you won't end up sore. Hot foreplay with sex toys are great for this purpose, especially if he's not expecting it. Give him a surprise and visit your local sex toy or adult bookstore alone to pick out something fun before the evening.

In Training

You can also train your lips, throat, and tongue. Exercising these muscles will increase stamina and help you feel more confident about giving head. The college students were right, using a banana or a cucumber to lessen your gag reflex really does work. 

Start slow practice home alone, of course. Holding your lips in the "O" position for as long as you can and then repeating will strengthen them. You can do this while you're watching T.V. or reading--probably not a good idea while on the way to work using public transportation--or if you're really outgoing, invite a few of your girlfriends over for an exercise party. 

Tongue exercises are the same for a girl as they are for a guy, but you won't need to develop yours as much. When guys are giving head, they primarily use the tongue, while women use the throat and lips. A type of tongue isometrics is best for women; hold your tongue curled back for as long as you can as often as you can to strengthen the muscle. You can do this one sitting at your desk at work. 

If you follow these basic suggestions; comfort, training, foreplay, and willingness, you will become really good at giving head and he will really appreciate it.

I hope this helps!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

southern wife said:


> Either way, spitting and then jumping up to brush your teeth will ruin the mood.


You know - if you get everything else on here right - I really have no problem with this...


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> You know - if you get everything else on here right - I really have no problem with this...


:lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl:

I've never had the problem that I had to "spit, get up, and go brush my teeth!"


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

1) Faster is not always better...instead, at least I prefer a slower, deeper BJ, with tongue moving around when I am as deep as my DW can take me.
2) I love when she also massages my b*lls while giving me a BJ and I am not even opposed to a very occasional gloved and well lubed finger up my butt.
3) Eye contact and moaning on her part helps enhance the experience.
4) Personally, I love the sound of gagging and I am not even turned off if she has to run to the bathroom, although, obviously, she does not like when this happens but is an incredibly good sport about it.
5) 69'ing is THE BEST. It not only allows an angle that allows her to take me deeper in her mouth/throat, but it feeds me her sweet p*$$y all at the same time and we usually hold this position until I bring her to climax and then I immediately have intercourse with her for my own orgasm.
6) Swallow! (do not spit)
7) Personally, I love oral/intercourse/oral/intercourse (switching back and forth, although my DW doesn't do this). 
8) In the first year of our relationship, my DW would make me climax, swallow, and keep going until I climaxed again about 5 minutes later...that was AWESOME, although nowadays, she is over it after the first climax.
9) Oral sex in unexpected places is always nice. On a couple long drives, I have pulled off the freeway and she has blown me to completion while a couple other times, blowing me while driving, although I find it very hard to climax like that. Also, blew me while she was in the dressing room at the bridal shop picking out her gown. We've only been married just under 2.5 years, so it wasn't that long ago, although most of these occasions seemed towards the first half of our 3+ years together.
10) I would LOVE to be woken up in the middle of the night by a BJ, particularly if we did not have sex that night. That would just tell me that she was HUNGRY for my c**k and could not wait and HAD to have me no matter the hour.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Just bumped an oldie but a goodie.

(bump means to comment on an old thread, which then brings it to the top; didn't mean to imply I'd just had an encounter with a "old but good" friend...)

Looks like its BJ day here in the Sex forums! Would have dressed up a bit had I known!


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Just bumped an oldie but a goodie.
> 
> (bump means to comment on an old thread, which then brings it to the top; didn't mean to imply I'd just had an encounter with a "old but good" friend...)
> 
> Looks like its BJ day here in the Sex forums! Would have dressed up a bit had I known!


:rofl: :rofl: :lol: :lol:

:woohoo: "BJ day" :woohoo:


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Meh... BJs...

A few additions:
- BOTH HANDS, and his genitals aren't the only thing you should stroke, but the area between his hips and his thigh
- Rolling your tongue around the head is great, but lick under the shaft too.
- As for deep throating, when I asked the missus her secret, it was quite simple; positioning
- Don't be silent

Also read this, after the BJ itself:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/33223-tips-ladies.html

Bleh


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

I believe southern wife's description *could* qualify as an online course. :smthumbup:


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Wife speaking here.

My husband LOVES his balls being sucked. They are so incredibly soft. While I'm sucking down there, I'm using my hand masturbating his manhood. I also use different speeds(fast and slow). I will use my hand while giving him a bj at the same time. I will suck harder up top and twirl my tongue around the tip of his penis. I deep throat the best I can as well.

I personally can not stand semen or pre semen. It makes me very sick to my stomach. I use juicy lube mint and since I have a neck injury, I can only give the bj as long as the neck pain doesn't get too bad. Believe it or not, I just started a few months ago giving my husband bj's. It was my surprise for him and I found that I absolutely look forward to giving them now. I do require my husband to wash up before going down on him. We usually finish with fabulous sex! I do run into the bathroom and swish with mouthwash and wash the lube off my hands while hubby gets ready to put the condom on.(he hasn't had the big V yet) 

My husband is the very first person I've ever given oral.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

roymcavoy said:


> I believe southern wife's description *could* qualify as an online course. :smthumbup:


I'm using it towards my continuing education requirements for my CPA license!!! Thanks Southern!!!


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

roymcavoy said:


> I believe southern wife's description *could* qualify as an online course. :smthumbup:


 Perhaps I'm in the wrong profession! I should start a class on perfecting BJs. I'd need some willing and capable.........ummmmmm models!


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## ManDup (Apr 22, 2011)

young_lady said:


> Okay...I feel a little stupid even having to ask, but I have never been confident in my skills in this area. I know my hubby likes them, but I am always afraid of disappointing him.
> 
> Can some of you guys please give me some tips?


swallow


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

southern wife said:


> Perhaps I'm in the wrong profession! I should start a class on perfecting BJs. I'd need some willing and capable.........ummmmmm models!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

roymcavoy said:


>


:rofl:

Ah hell the sex in marriage section never falls to crack me up :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

roymcavoy said:


>


:lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl:


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

southern wife said:


> Perhaps I'm in the wrong profession! I should start a class on perfecting BJs. I'd need some willing and capable.........ummmmmm models!


Wow.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Wow.


:lol: :rofl: 

It was a joke.


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

southern wife said:


> :lol: :rofl:
> 
> It was a joke.


Really??.............aww, rats.......... :ezpi_wink1:


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