# My husband called my boyfriend's house last night!



## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

He was drunk and called at 1:30 am. My bf's father hung up on him.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Hmmmmmm, I guess your shock treatment must be beginning to bite.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Looks like you have a stalker !


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

I went to have a couple of drinks after work, parked my car in the most obvious spot so he could see that I was there He showed up there anyway. 

Last night he calls my bf's house when I wasn't home, to see "who calls here every night".

Today he says he knows all about him, apparently my bf is 21, 23, and 24 yrs old. He says everyone knows who he is, he then says he'll get a lawyer.

I just shook my head. 

My husband was the one who ended this relatioship, he said he wasn't in love with me. I moved on and I don't think he likes it. He says he's gonna bring blonds home, I'm bisexual so I asked him jokingly to share.


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## amberlynn (May 24, 2009)

if you're married and you want boyfriends.. then you need to legally seperate from you husband and eventually divorce if the marriage is "over" ... its just wrong to be married and have one on the side.. i dont blame your husband for callin to find out "whos been callin" every night. I woulda done the same thing if my H had another woman calling here every night. Shame on you!


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

you use the terms "husband" and "boyfriend" in such a cavalier manner that i worry about you. your attitude about the whole thing screams of arrogance.

do you read the news? i'm not saying it would happen, but "crimes of passion" happen all the time. what happens when your "husband" decides a phone call isn't enough? there are plenty of cases where a simpathetic jury uses the jury nullification proces and finds a defendant not guilty in a case of murder in a crime of passion.

it happens.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> Hmmmmmm, I guess your shock treatment must be beginning to bite.


It sure is and it feels real good. The fact that he even called him was a sure sign that he may not be out of love for me. he is not made of stone after all. 

lol Preso.

aberlynn, I have no shame in this situation. There's more to the story. I don't want boyfriends, I want only this one.

voivoid, crime of passion will never happen in this scenario.


For those who don't know what my situation is, my husband and I are over. I do not need to legally seprate to move on. He also gave me the go-ahead to date. I can do without judgement kthx.


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Crimes of Passion are real, I knew a couple she broke up with him, he killed the new boyfriend then himself. 

You're playing with potential fire here Veronica, but nothing will happen because you are too cool for that.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

VJ, you go for it, girl! Make sure you get the papers that says you're done, though. Love your avatar!


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

I called my husband out the next day, he locked me out of the house and started messing with my stuff. My H is not passionate enough to do any crime, he's not that into me.

He was just a dumb drunk Friday night and I hope he is starting to realize what he is letting go. He told me that he was gonna start bringing blonds to the house. LOL. I don't bring my bf to the house. If he brings blonds he better share.:rofl:

Can't wait to be out of here. Hopefully one more week!

My bf showed me ore of his modelling pics lst night...HOT!


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Next on Jerry Springer.......


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Veronica Jackson said:


> I called my husband out the next day, he locked me out of the house and started messing with my stuff. My H is not passionate enough to do any crime, he's not that into me.*gee, i don't understand THAT...*
> 
> He was just a dumb drunk Friday night and I hope he is starting to realize what he is letting go. He told me that he was gonna start bringing blonds to the house. LOL. I don't bring my bf to the house. If he brings blonds he better share.:rofl:
> 
> ...


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Veronica Jackson said:


> He was drunk and called at 1:30 am. My bf's father hung up on him.


a crime of passion is referred to as temporary insanity. case law most often referred to in "passion killers" and passion crimes is the case of U.S. Congressman daniel sickles of New York in 1859, when he killed his wifes lover. 

jury nullification, combined with the lack of power granted to judges in some jurisdictions, results in the passion killer being set "free" for an average of two years "rehabilitation" in an asylum. trade two years for killing the adulterous spouse or lover of same? pretty good trade, thinks the passion killer.

thinking it couldn't happen makes one more vulnerable to it, i'd assume.


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Yep it happens. Like I said, I knew a couple, she was really cute he was from the streets and "rehabilitated," ten years older than her, anyway a year and a half later she realizes he's stealing from her and she breaks up with him. She gets a new boyfriend he breaks in and shoots the new bf dead and almost shot her but she talked him out of it. Then he shot himself dead. I still can't believe he is gone, we went out with them many many times. Anyway that most likely won't happen here, but our op's self centeredness is certainly making for some good entertainment.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Veronica seems like a fun wild chick that I would love to party with, you remind me of a girl I know at a local organization here in Atlanta. Especially look wise.

Anyway, I would just seperate from him and move on, otherwise I think it's got to work itself out. He dumped yyou, now he is jealous you are getting action from a young stud and he isn't.

kudo's to you.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> Veronica seems like a fun wild chick that I would love to party with, you remind me of a girl I know at a local organization here in Atlanta. Especially look wise.
> 
> Anyway, I would just seperate from him and move on, otherwise I think it's got to work itself out. He dumped yyou, now he is jealous you are getting action from a young stud and he isn't.
> 
> kudo's to you.


Thanks babe! I am waiting for construction of my townhouse to be complete, hopefully this week it will be done. Considering my H broke up with me on May 20, I have 2 kids and have back injury, I'm doing just fine.

50 minutes of pilates every single day to deal with stress and strengthen my back really works. I take my kids to the gym and pool almost every morning before I go to my summer job.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and when I want to get pissed off or cry, I workout instead. There is a considerable amount of change occurring.

I use affirmations to keep me afloat. i understand this one is about genetics but I can't help but be inspired by this quote:

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change." ~ Charles Darwin


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> Veronica seems like a fun wild chick that I would love to party with, you remind me of a girl I know at a local organization here in Atlanta.


yeah, if party means share drinks and subsequent activities like i used to do when i was living the life of hedonism. she reminds me of several girls i used to know who wore their "attitude" on there sleeves similarly. i don't think one of those girls has found true happiness today.

if your husband was a complete "ricardo" too bad for him. but maybe he became that way because of your propensity to "boyfriend up."


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

My husband was acting like a "ricardo" for a long time. He has little respect for women and entered this relationship with trust issues. I was single for about 5 years before I met him and was doing very well on my own.

The new guy is just fate, and it is very strange for me to "boyfriend" up so quickly. I am not trying to make him jealous, I just can't control my heart on this one. Normally I would be alone, but somebody was put in my path that I can't ignore. I'm not going to go all out and start living with this guy or marry him, its just is what it is. 

If the husband has residual feelings and actually has love for me then he should stop being such a coward and step up.

I am not one of those girls who hasn't found true happiness, I am not empty inside because I am very spiritual. My activities are healthy ones


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Veronica Jackson said:


> I am very spiritual. My activities are healthy ones


_really???_ my apologies. i'm not seeing that one.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

There is a real person behind the avatar.  Apology accepted.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Thanks MizSmith, I was just thinking about paperwork today. He was the one who threw this all away, I loved him with all my heart but has shown his true colors. He hasn't had any respect for me and it took this to make me realize this.

There are no more tears over here and I am no longer a victim of his chronic sarcasm. What ever he decides to dish out will be like water off a duck's back. 

He knows I'm dating a model and he is no Zoolander either. He has a psychology degree!


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

OMG I was just looking at somepics on my phone and I took video of my drunk H saying pretty much the same stuff as he did when he ended it.

This video was dated 11.29.2008! He also flipped me the finger in it as well. This means that he felt no love or respect for me for a long time and I put up with his cutting rearks and sarcasm.

When I confronted him on his sarcasm (see chonically sarcastic husband), he claimed it was just poking fun at me. I used to work for a woman's sheltering agency and was trained on identifying domestic abuse. I definitely would classify his behavior toward me as emotional abuse. How could I have been so naive!

This jerk keeps getting better, losing love for him is getting much easier.

I hope he is seething inside and feels extremely unattractive compared to my hot new guy. GRRRRRRR


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

The U.S. doesn't recognize "crimes of passion" anymore. It's called "domestic violence" and it's against the law.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

How would that apply to this thread?


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

This whole thread is about crimes of passion...well at least people's responses are right?


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

My situation is definitely not considered a "crime of passion." If anything, I see no crime here, just a blatant act of bull**** on my H's part. I see a damaged pride at the hands of a woman who had enough. A much-deserved hit where it hurts.

He should have come out with his true feelings long ago instead of masking it over the months with hurtful sarcasm. I took several hits to the self-esteem and it caused unecessary heartbreak and pain. He played with fire and he eventually got burned. 

People should be honest and face the music with their partners instead of keeping their feelings in.


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

Please don't mistake my post as a bash at you. I wish responding to Sister's post. I don't believe Sister was bashing you either, I think she was simply responding to all the chatter about crimes of passion. 

I do agree w/you about being honest and facing the music...however I do believe you should get a formal separation PDQ as boyfriends and husband's go together about as well as girlfriend's and wives...they don't. That's my point. 

Hugs
Rhea


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

sisters359 said:


> The U.S. doesn't recognize "crimes of passion" anymore. It's called "domestic violence" and it's against the law.


you don't use "crime of passion" as a legal defense...duh...

dont give offenders too much credit either...domestic violence is not "crime of passion" as described in black's law...

ever heard of jury nullification? call a crime what you want. a jury can nullify...it happens ALL THE TIME...


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Rhea I didn't think feel it was bashing at all, I just realizd this thread went in two different directions, just like my marriage. LMFAO!

I had a serious revelation last night with regards to why I felt so bad about myself at times and had a depressive episode a couple of times. grrrrrrr

This jerk husband of mine is a piece of work. Saying that because I'm dating someone I have no respect for the two years we've known each other. More like its the other way around as he treated me this way for as long as I could remember.

I'm ot religious, but some of my friends are and they say my bf is an angel that was sent to me.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Apparently my husband thinks I'm playing some sort of game with him and decides to make the next two weeks unbearable with silent treatment. This is an email I sent.

Listen, I'm sorry if he called the house but sometimes fate don't wait it is what it is. I made sure its not gonna happen again. I'm not playing any games whatsoever, the only thing I'm doing is moving on. I'm not making it your business because it isn't. You should at least be happy for me. The only thing I'm doing is healing the busted heart that you left me with and I choose not to cry about it but to move on. Its not easy to do this because I still got ****ing pain happening. I'm managing and have no time for playing foolish games, I have enough on my plate to deal with. It is evident that you really do not know me at all. I can't help it that someone I'm totally compatible with just so happen to come back into my life at the perfect time. It's not what I expected because I still loved you with everything in my heart and I still ****ing do, that's the sad thing.

Remember our conversation at Tim's? I told you that I was hanging out with someone and you didn't seem to mind. I assure you there are no games here. I'm too old for that ****.

As far as respect goes, you've shown me a good dose of disrespect during our two years together with cutting sarcasm and silent treatment that did a number on my self-esteem. I can't expect you to empathize with that because you don't respect me whatsoever. You have no idea the stuff I've gone through since being here nor do you care, that is no way to be a husband. Try to brainstorm the crap I went through as well. Let me help you.

1. alcoholic dad almost died
2. loss of second mother
3. career change
4. a couple of deaths (including one that I'm currently having a hard time getting over)
5. multiple job rejections
6. you

Of course there is more but I have an excellent sounding board for which I can count on.

Your patronizing and condescending behavior over the past year was enough to make me want to leave a few months earlier. However, you on the other hand, knew for a very long time that you didn't want me in your life yet chose to express your resentment through the hurtful sarcasm that you call humor. I was willing to explore ways to heal our relationship but you neither loved nor respected me enough to engage.

Letting go of the past was something you are not very skilled at, nor is forgiveness. You obviously still had issues with our rough start, but chose to bottle it all up and release your wrath while drunk or through the blame game. Believe me, I haven't come out of this unscathed.

Communicating with you is extremely difficult because you put up a wall from the very beginning and I resent that. Why don't you grow up, stop thinking that everything is about you and let it go. If you ever loved me at all, be happy for me that I'm not an emotional mess but engaging in healthier activities to help me heal.

I wrote this long response because you seem to read better than you hear.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

you know, i've put my finger on it. veronica, the reason i'm so troubled by your attitude about this: everything from you is I, I, I, I, I, I, I.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

voivod said:


> you know, i've put my finger on it. veronica, the reason i'm so troubled by your attitude about this: everything from you is I, I, I, I, I, I, I.



That's because there's no other place where I can say I! Its all about him. Being extremely pissed off doesn't really allow for perfect grammar. Cut me a break.


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagr

TE=voivod;67850]you know, i've put my finger on it. veronica, the reason i'm so troubled by your attitude about this: everything from you is I, I, I, I, I, I, I.[/QUOTE]

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Hi Veronica,
I was just wondering why you decided to start a new relationship when you seem to still have a lot of anger, resentment and unresolved issues with your husband? :scratchhead:


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

I read his post and didn't agree. I don't think he read all of your posts.

I also made a harsh response in another thread and it got deleted (by admin). I apologized for it. 

I thought the poster just simply didn't bother to read everything and went with a gut reaction. 

BTW, I thought the old avatar was fine. It's what you wanted to present to everyone. But I have to say, I like the new "you"!


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