# No touching kissing or affection



## SkittleNinja (May 10, 2018)

I've been married for 23 years and 7 of them have been without sex we do mess around every now and then which turns straight into him fondling me but me having to give him oral same way same thing every time, no kissing or touching other than that and I mean ever, he will kiss me goodbye or hello sometimes but never anything past that. It bothers me that he never touches me any other time plus he is a truck driver and his time home has become less and less... So I'm starting to wonder is it me?


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

So, as you can probably assume, this is not normal and if you giving him oral sex and getting 'nothing' in return that makes this pretty crappy on top of the rarity of intimacy. 

I'm sure someone else will say it but I think Truck Drivers are one of the professions that has a high rate of quick fixes on the road, I could be wrong but that's the first thing I thought of. 

Before I even got into assumptions, I should have asked this. Have you talked to him about your concerns?


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## SkittleNinja (May 10, 2018)

Yes and no lol he has this way of making me feel like I'm inadequate wether it be sex or life in general.


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## SkittleNinja (May 10, 2018)

In other words he saids I've changed in bed but yet what can I do with someone that doesn't move and just lays there expecting oral...


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

SkittleNinja said:


> In other words he saids I've changed in bed but yet what can I do with someone that doesn't move and just lays there expecting oral...


Do you have any reason or evidence to believe he is getting it from somewhere else other than the normal red flags you already posted?

What are the things you like about him, where he contributes to the overall well being of your home. Is he a good dad, helps around the house when he is home? Or is he a sole provider of the finances?


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## SkittleNinja (May 10, 2018)

He is the provider of our family but that is how he wanted it , when he is home he doesn't do anything. Even things I need him to do, lately he hasn't been the greatest health because he isn't taking care of himself . I used to like how close we were , how I felt like I could tell him anything and I loved being around him. Yes I do think he is being unfaithful mostly because of his dismissive attitude towards me and how his life by outside of the house is always more important. If I call him and he is talking to one of his friends he might call me back, if I text it's ignored. But anyone else he is right on it. I've actually downloaded texting apps to get a reply from him. I've became uncomfortable around him I don't know him anymore.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

"I've actually downloaded texting apps to get a reply from him"

I'm not sure what you mean by that, do you contact him as yourself via these texting apps or are you impersonating someone.

Yeah, the signs are there for offbeat behavior and unfortunately, in his job, it makes it a lot harder to get evidence but if you could get into this phone, if you can look at minutes or texts if you have a shared cell phone account online, etc. That would help give some insight.

Those are just symptoms of the whatever the real issue is however. How he is treating you and taking you for granted is a big issue and I just wonder why. You need to be straight up with this dude of how unhappy you are and that it needs to change. See if he is open to counseling. 

Is there anything that could really be stressing him out?


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## SkittleNinja (May 10, 2018)

By saying I've downloaded apps to get an answer that means there are times he has ignored me so I used a text app and he would reply then , my guess is he isn't happy either. When he's here all he does is look for things to ***** about and talk about how he can't wait to go back out and now this time I'm on the same page, I feel like if it's so hard for him to be here then he should go back to work. I feel trapped and angry.


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## SkittleNinja (May 10, 2018)

I have seen things like last time he was in town I went to run some errands when I came home the history on the PC showed he had been on Craigslist personals on the w4m looking up casual encounters but when it finally came up it was twisted around and I was crazy I even printed it out! But this isn't uncommon whenever I come across things that aren't right.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

SkittleNinja said:


> I have seen things like last time he was in town I went to run some errands when I came home the history on the PC showed he had been on Craigslist personals on the w4m looking up casual encounters but when it finally came up it was twisted around and I was crazy I even printed it out! But this isn't uncommon whenever I come across things that aren't right.


Welp, that's enough for me, we could have gone a bunch of different ways in this conversation but this one leads to one street for now. 

Time for you to go on the downlow and start collecting evidence without telling him, to where you have enough to feel confident in what he is doing and no amount of blame or projection can make you believe you are the foolish one. 

I would also consult with an attorney, you don't have to give them a retainer, just go and talk with one about your options. This new animal you are dealing with is no longer the same person you used to be able to confide in and enjoy. He may still be in there somewhere but not a great chance of him coming back any time soon. Time to start looking out for yourself. 

Again, I would highly recommend gathering as much evidence as you can without telling him or even giving a clue of what you are up to. 

Don't think it needs to be said but I'll say it anyway, keep this dude's **** away from your face or any other part of your body.


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## Blue123 (May 4, 2018)

SkittleNinja said:


> I have seen things like last time he was in town I went to run some errands when I came home the history on the PC showed he had been on Craigslist personals on the w4m looking up casual encounters but when it finally came up it was twisted around and I was crazy I even printed it out! But this isn't uncommon whenever I come across things that aren't right.


This sounds to me like he wants out,but isn’t man enough to tell you. I honestly feel like you should file. Life is too short love. You only get one. He’s cheating on you and doesn’t care about your feelings. He is using you to get off. Has he ever been violent towards you? Is there a reason for you to not leave? I see where you said he’s the main provider... “he wanted it that way” I’m starting to get the feeling he wants it that way to keep you trapped. Your his ‘comfort’ take care of his kids,cooks,and cleans. You’re a free maid... I’m having similar problems in my marriage and am starting to see the light... I’m a stay at home mom, but am currently updating all of my ceditials to go back to work. Get yourself prepared for the worst... save some money and pack a bad to have Incase you need to leave in a hurry. Until then don’t let him continue to use you... you don’t deserve that... no one does .


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