# Public Displays of Affection



## letstalk2007 (Jul 18, 2016)

I was always told, that if a guy likes you, he will always make the "first" move, when it comes to a date, like if he takes your hand, that shows he likes you, kisses you, shows like, hugs or cuddles you, shows he likes you, etc. But lately I've been noticing the guys I have been talking too a few of them, have gone and asked me "Are you okay with public affection?" to "Do you kiss on the first date?" to "How far do you go on the first date?" when it comes to the date the guy will ask me "Is it okay if I hold your hand?" "Is it okay if I hug you?" "Can I ask for a kiss?" etc.

Its like really, come on, if you like me and wanna show affection why not just go for it, instead of asking awkwardly with these questions. But in return, these guys come out and say that girls find it weird, or even clingy. So what do you all think, when it comes to public displays of affection, to a guy making the first move on the first date? Thoughts and comments below.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

letstalk2007 said:


> I was always told, that if a guy likes you, he will always make the "first" move, when it comes to a date, like if he takes your hand, that shows he likes you, kisses you, shows like, hugs or cuddles you, shows he likes you, etc. But lately I've been noticing the guys I have been talking too a few of them, have gone and asked me "Are you okay with public affection?" to "Do you kiss on the first date?" to "How far do you go on the first date?" when it comes to the date the guy will ask me "Is it okay if I hold your hand?" "Is it okay if I hug you?" "Can I ask for a kiss?" etc.
> 
> Its like really, come on, if you like me and wanna show affection why not just go for it, instead of asking awkwardly with these questions. But in return, these guys come out and say that girls find it weird, or even clingy. So what do you all think, when it comes to public displays of affection, to a guy making the first move on the first date? Thoughts and comments below.


So, how are the proclamations of the politically correct brigade about what constitutes informed and valid consent impacting on dating and stuff?

Younger men are trained now to ask those types if questions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

I have sons...from 26 to 21 to 14.

Frankly, im terrified for them. The world has changed
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rileyawes (Jun 28, 2016)

I think there's a chasm in some people's minds between sexually aggressive behavior / date rape, and 20 questions before you ever kiss. Maybe you can tell the guys that when they ask it takes you out of the moment, that you just want them to act natural, and if you want them to stop doing something, you'll let them know. I see no problem with leaning in for a kiss rather than stealing a kiss or asking for one. There's kind of a natural progression to intimacy that can be respectful without any questions being asked. To me, it seems like the real problem is having sex with relative strangers who are intoxicated. If you know someone pretty well, you'll have a better idea of what they'd want.


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## letstalk2007 (Jul 18, 2016)

Oh I see. Well yeah that makes sense.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Oh look, Nataly is back....


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

3Xnocharm said:


> Oh look, Nataly is back....


I was not going to say anything,but......yea.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Average male testosterone levels have decrease steadily over the decades. This is the result of that. 

A woman once gave me "advice" that a woman likes to be asked before a first kiss. At this this one did. I tried that advice once. 

I did not do that with Mrs Blue.


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## rileyawes (Jun 28, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> Average male testosterone levels have decrease steadily over the decades. This is the result of that.
> 
> A woman once gave me "advice" that a woman likes to be asked before a first kiss. At this this one did. I tried that advice once.
> 
> I did not do that with Mrs Blue.


I think some women do liked to be asked, but I don't. I suppose we could all calibrate our approaches...if a man doesn't ask for kisses and generally gets poor responses, perhaps he's misreading cues from women and needs to learn to ask. If a woman is getting asked a lot, perhaps she should say she doesn't need to be asked. She'd probably prefer to be asked by a guy that she isn't into, and wouldn't need to be asked by a guy that she IS into.

Perhaps it's hard to read body language and facial expressions if you're in a dark room watching a movie or in a poorly lit bar or something. Ultimately, the most important thing is that people need to both take no for an answer, and be comfortable saying no when they're uncomfortable.


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## rileyawes (Jun 28, 2016)

MarriedDude said:


> I have sons...from 26 to 21 to 14.
> 
> Frankly, im terrified for them. The world has changed
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't have kids, but I'd be more worried about having daughters these ages, what with passed out girls getting gang-raped, having videos released, and getting **** shamed by the entire world... the statistics show that nearly 25% of college women will be sexually assaulted or raped. On my campus, there was a man who groped female joggers multiple times, for a couple of weeks around dusk before he got caught. It's scary what happens to women, even when they're doing everything "right." 

We live in a rape culture where many men think they own women's bodies and are entitled to them, and victims of sexual assaults often aren't only not believed, but re-victimized if their cases go to trial. It's really, really sad. False rape accusations are very rare compared to actual sexual assault, or even convictions for rape.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

letstalk2007
Banned

POW! Off with her head!


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## jarhed (Nov 11, 2012)

It's the pussification of America....


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Such conviction, such certainty...true believers scare me and give me pause. I have had a hand in and seen the results of certainty...

Its always bloody its always pain
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> Average male testosterone levels have decrease steadily over the decades. This is the result of that.


Blue,

I've heard this before and I'm curious if it's true, but haven't seen citations.

Do you know of any references?


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Buddy400 said:


> Blue,
> 
> I've heard this before and I'm curious if it's true, but haven't seen citations.
> 
> Do you know of any references?


Birth control hormones in water: separating myth from fact

It's controversial, but estrogenic compounds in the water supply have been purported to be affecting men's bodies and testosterone levels.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

letstalk2007 said:


> I was always told, that if a guy likes you, he will always make the "first" move, when it comes to a date, like if he takes your hand, that shows he likes you, kisses you, shows like, hugs or cuddles you, shows he likes you, etc. But lately I've been noticing the guys I have been talking too a few of them, have gone and asked me "Are you okay with public affection?" to "Do you kiss on the first date?" to "How far do you go on the first date?" when it comes to the date the guy will ask me "Is it okay if I hold your hand?" "Is it okay if I hug you?" "Can I ask for a kiss?" etc.
> 
> Its like really, come on, if you like me and wanna show affection why not just go for it, instead of asking awkwardly with these questions. But in return, these guys come out and say that girls find it weird, or even clingy. So what do you all think, when it comes to public displays of affection, to a guy making the first move on the first date? Thoughts and comments below.


Good2Go: A new app for consenting to sex.


He's attempting to get your full consent; so you don't accuse him of rape.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Political "correctness" is a social mental illness that is retarding natural emotional and mental growth. Having to actually ask is a direct result of what is deemed "politically correct" or not. As a result, some people go out of their way to not offend anybody. Political "correctness" is just another way to control the natural thought processes of the people as a whole, and keeps them from doing what is truly natural in human interaction.

If you are one that is offended by the above statements, you have officially been brainwashed.>


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

3Xnocharm said:


> Oh look, Nataly is back....


Oh, no she isn't! Well, not now she isn't...


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Buddy400 said:


> Blue,
> 
> I've heard this before and I'm curious if it's true, but haven't seen citations.
> 
> Do you know of any references?


https://www.endocrine.org/news-room/press-release-archives/2006/testosterone_lvls_in_men_decline

Speculation is that it is due to estrogenic hormones in water supply, increasing use of soy in food, and somehow Pauly Shore ....


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## rileyawes (Jun 28, 2016)

Luvher4life said:


> Political "correctness" is a social mental illness that is retarding natural emotional and mental growth. Having to actually ask is a direct result of what is deemed "politically correct" or not. As a result, some people go out of their way to not offend anybody. Political "correctness" is just another way to control the natural thought processes of the people as a whole, and keeps them from doing what is truly natural in human interaction.
> 
> If you are one that is offended by the above statements, you have officially been brainwashed.>


"Political correctness" is what people in times gone by would have called "civility" being "civilized" or being "polite." This includes things like not being offensive in public, not making racist or sexist comments, and not raping people. It seems like it's not that hard to not rape people, but some just haven't gotten the memo! If people are really worried about it, I say, go ahead and ask. I just don't think it's necessary. It depends on context.

I disagreed with all your statements, wasn't offended. Does that mean I've still been brainwashed (by common sense)? If so, I'm okay with that!

What's with Nataly/letstalk2007, and why are they banned?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I actually think that much of this "political correctness" panic is mostly in people's imaginations. I've seen plenty of hoaxes that people are completely sucked in by and elicit a ridiculous quantity of responses saying, "OMG, political correctness is killing the planet!!". Add to that the media latching onto anything to create a bit of drama. Then you get society shaping itself around this idea that everyone else is freaking out over everything when in fact it's just a few asshats who like to stir people up.

I think the biggest problem is that people are too gullible.


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