# Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?



## Joanie

*Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

Guys, please explain something to me. My husband and I have been together ten years and have always had a very healthy and active sex life. We tend to have sex almost daily and I am pretty open to most of his fantasies/desires. I'd say that's darn good after ten years together and both of us about to turn 50 this year. So now the question.....if you were getting sex on a daily basis would you still feel the need to watch porn every day and rub one out? I just don't get it and to be honest it kind of annoys me. I could see him doing it if I didn't want sex as often as he does, but I do! Not sure why it pisses me off...maybe it makes me feel like I am not enough, I dunno. I remember him telling me after we had been together for about a year that he would pleasure himself after I left his apartment. I found that shocking considering in the first year we used to do it two or three times a night...I kid you not! All I know is I don't really like it! So, guys, please enlighten me.


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## alphaomega

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

The guys a machine! Why let this bother you? If he satisfies you, but feels he can go for another round anyways, then let him. As long as it's not interfering with your relationship. As in, he doesn't want sex with you and starts relying on the porn more and more.

I say let him. Bajeeses! I hope I'm that virile I'm my fifties!

Is this an ego thing? Do you feel like he should be completely satisfied by you after round three? If there's no drop in his desire for you, maybe the man is just the energizer bunny.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

Happy hand time. Lol. Lately I've just been calling it a "date"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SockPuppet

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

If you go from 2-3 per day to 1 per day, that could be reason to engage in this behaviour.

Also, if he is still very much into you/ your sex, I wouldnt worry about the porn thing, unless you dont like it.

And lastly, you may want to write this down: Most guys will masturbate no matter how much sex you give them, its just something we do.


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## IanIronwood

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*



Joanie said:


> Guys, please explain something to me. My husband and I have been together ten years and have always had a very healthy and active sex life. We tend to have sex almost daily and I am pretty open to most of his fantasies/desires. I'd say that's darn good after ten years together and both of us about to turn 50 this year. So now the question.....if you were getting sex on a daily basis would you still feel the need to watch porn every day and rub one out? I just don't get it and to be honest it kind of annoys me. I could see him doing it if I didn't want sex as often as he does, but I do! Not sure why it pisses me off...maybe it makes me feel like I am not enough, I dunno. I remember him telling me after we had been together for about a year that he would pleasure himself after I left his apartment. I found that shocking considering in the first year we used to do it two or three times a night...I kid you not! All I know is I don't really like it! So, guys, please enlighten me.



Here is your enlightenment. You aren't going to understand it, or get it, and it might piss you off, but here it goes:

No matter how good you are in bed, your man's sexuality is not always about you. Consider his "happy hand time" as a practice session more than anything else. It's like you going to a store and window shopping and trying things on but not buying anything: an opportunity for you to pamper yourself without fear of judgment or recrimination. His strokin' isn't cutting into your sex life, apparently, but don't forget that your mutual sex life is different than either one of your personal sex lives. He likes to fantasize and dream about variety and such without detracting attention away from you in bed. If I were you, I'd just smile, let him get his ya-ya's out, and don't take it personally. Because it's not an attack or a deficiency -- sometimes a man just wants to get his oil changed, and doesn't want the whole 14 point inspection.


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## Enchantment

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*



Joanie said:


> Guys, please explain something to me. My husband and I have been together ten years and have always had a very healthy and active sex life. We tend to have sex almost daily and I am pretty open to most of his fantasies/desires. I'd say that's darn good after ten years together and both of us about to turn 50 this year. So now the question.....if you were getting sex on a daily basis would you still feel the need to watch porn every day and rub one out? I just don't get it and to be honest it kind of annoys me. I could see him doing it if I didn't want sex as often as he does, but I do! Not sure why it pisses me off...maybe it makes me feel like I am not enough, I dunno. I remember him telling me after we had been together for about a year that he would pleasure himself after I left his apartment. I found that shocking considering in the first year we used to do it two or three times a night...I kid you not! All I know is I don't really like it! So, guys, please enlighten me.


It's something of an interesting question as to how much is too much.

I think masturbation is a natural thing to do, but in some cases it actually can be too much. I personally know of an individual who engaged in it chronically (like 6 - 8 times a day), but that was a girl I knew in college. She used it as an anxiety-relieving mechanism (ironically it seemed to cause her as much distress as it did to relieve her anxiety.)

So, to me, the times it could become a problem would be the following:

1) If it causes distress to the individual that is doing it, e.g., if they are doing it compulsively and it interferes with their daily life, activities, or overrides their personal beliefs or better judgment.

2) If it negatively affects their sexual activity or relationship with their partner.

So, if either of those two things are concerns for you, then you should talk with your husband about it.

Like anything that is a normal, healthy behavior - sexual or otherwise- if it is over practiced or if someone becomes addicted to it, it can create imbalances in a person's life - there can be 'too much of a good thing' - whether we're talking masturbation or eating oreos. imho.

Best wishes.


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## Conrad

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

Are you welcome to watch porn with him?


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## nice777guy

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

If its not something new, why is it suddenly so important?

That's something I've always struggled with myself. If his behavior has been consistent, don't expect it to change.

Also, have you ever told him how it makes you feel? Does he even know how much it bothers you?


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## Jamison

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

I'm gonna go in another direction with this. First off its good you both are still having sex regularly, a lot of married people are not. 

Secondly, it sounds like he has a bit of a problem. I can understand porn once in awhile and masturbation, but not everyday. I NEVER said men don't watch porn or masturbate, however, you said he does this every day, and you couldn't even leave his apartment good when you all were dating before he was on himself, even after you had sex.

Perhaps he is oversexed? Bottom line, you stated it was bothering you and makes you annoyed at times. The real question is, what will you do about it? BECAUSE it seems he has always been like this. You will need to ask yourself is this something you can continue to live with. When did it start to bother you?


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## sxLess

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

He does not have a problem. Masturbation actually helps a couple's sex life. I guarantee that if he stopped masturbating, you'd have less sex.

By the way, sex daily in your late 40s is quite a feat. I'm in my early 20s and it's less than once a week. Congratulations to you and your partner.


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## Parrot_head

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

We've been married 18 yrs and my wife and I are super sexual..
I am always "horny" and she can be as well.
I could do it 4-5 times a day ..
i have some porn vids that i throw on once and a while , i can usually tell when she's into it , but most times not..
As far as age , I am 43 she is 41 and we do it 5 times a week minimum.. On the weekend sometimes twice a day.. I am very oral and give her oral attention almost everytime before intercourse..
I still find her extremely sexy and throughout the years it is not cooling off in the least..
As far as masturbating , i do it once in a while .. but usually when its her time of month..


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## Jamison

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

Doesn't matter, the OP is less likely to come back now after probably being made to feel his actions regardless of her feelings are justifiable.


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## sxLess

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*



Jamison said:


> Doesn't matter, the OP is less likely to come back now after probably being made to feel his actions regardless of her feelings are justifiable.


That's because they are.


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## CallaLily

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*



Jamison said:


> Doesn't matter, the OP is less likely to come back now after probably being made to feel his actions regardless of her feelings are justifiable.


Yep! I was thinking the same thing after I read the first few responses. Its funny how people miss the real point of a persons thread.


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## sinnister

*Re: Sex almost daily & yet still need to watch porn and have "happy hand time"?*

Damn! 50 and still going strong. Unreal!

He has a willing wife...WTF does he need a hand for? I will never understand these dudes.


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