# Thinking of divorce. Please help!!



## yazito (Apr 13, 2009)

I'm not sure where everything went wrong. My husband and I have been together for over 7 years and we have been through a lot together. From one miscarriage to having two lovely children. Unfortunately we have been having a lot of fights lately and it seems like it is never going to end. A few years back everytime we got into an argument we would try to relax and talk after we steamed off for a little bit, but now everything I say seems to offend him. Like the other day I told him to take care of the kids for ten minutes and he said no. I said "you got no choice" playing but since his sister was there he went on about working his ass off for the kids and what did I think he was doing everythig for and to stop saying that he don't care about them. He got all that out just because I said "you got no choice"?. You may have already guessed that I blame my sis in law for part of his behavior given that since she got here to live with us the fights tripled and now he don't talk to me for weeks everytime there is a fight. The last one was just last night. He took the kids and my sister in law for a trip(while I was working) when I come back at night I asked him where they went and what the kids ate. Then he tells me that the kids didn't want to eat. So basicaly my kids went all day with just one pancake and some milk in their stomachs. I was mad but I did't say anything at that moment. When I thought he was calm I told him that he could have asked my mother for what kind of food the kids ate and he began telling me that he was not going force feed them and if I didn't what to work I should speak up and some other crap. He keeps on saying we are OK but is ovious that he steams off everything he wants when he sees the chance. He stopped talking to my mother a month ago even tought they used to get along fine and we live together. I went to her and asked if she fed my kids and she said no. She takes care of the kids when I work even if he is home, he only takes care of them like once every six months or when there is no choice which doesn't happen often. I tried counseling and he lies all the time we are there I talk to him and is between him getting mad or saying everithing is ok when is not. I have come to the point of thinking about divorce because I just don't see an end to this and I don't know even how to feel about it. I just know that I haven't been happy for a long,long ,long time.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Your problems don't seem divorce worthy to me, perhaps better to seek therapy to work out child care and meal planning so a scedule can be stuck to.
Divorce worthy subjects are cheating and violence.

Therapy to help you communicate would help you very much I think.
If you have already tried that and it did not work, go alone, get books on theraputic communication, make a household scechule and stick to those things... work something out... get your husband to particiapte or seek to hire paid help ( sitter, they don't cost much) for a short time to get you through... and make your life a little easier. Find people in your area that babysit and use them.


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