# Are you a b!tch?



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I'm a b!tch. I do b!tchy things all the time. On the weekend I told my dad off at a family brunch for paying for only one of the grandkids meals. He TOTALLY favors my neice and it pisses everyone off and when I saw him paying in secret for her meal while ignoring all the other grandkids yet again I snapped.

So what b!tchy thing have you done lately?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Are you a b!tch?


No, I'm a bastard...


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> I'm a b!tch. I do b!tchy things all the time. On the weekend I told my dad off at a family brunch for paying for only one of the grandkids meals. He TOTALLY favors my neice and it pisses everyone off and when I saw him paying in secret for her meal while ignoring all the other grandkids yet again I snapped.
> 
> So what b!tchy thing have you done lately?



Sure am, if being a b!tch means not taking any sh!t from anyone> 

I don't go out of my way to be one, unless you cross me.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

No


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

No, I'm not a b!tch. I'm a woman who is honest and not afraid to speak the truth when it needs to be said. I don't cuss people out or insult them. However a person who has a low self esteem, or who likes to get away with things might think I am a b!tch when I talk about the huge elephant in the middle of the room.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I am a b!tch. I will certainly tell someone who pisses me off exactly what I think and I won't be nice while doing it if the offense was severe enough.

I, too, have told off my dad for favoring my sister's kids over my brother's kids and my kids. It was to the point where the kids were even openly commenting on it with hurt feelings, so I was fairly angry at the time. Bordering on furious. Many swear words were used in a loud voice.

Does taking a squirt bottle full of cold water to my son for not getting out of bed the first three times I asked count as b!tchy?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

MJJEAN said:


> Does taking a squirt bottle full of cold water to my son for not getting out of bed the first three times I asked count as b!tchy?


I used to use an air horn.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Hope1964 said:


> I used to use an air horn.


I now need an air horn. It's more humane than the rubber band gun I was thinking of buying.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Those outside our family & a few close friends would likely be surprised that yeah.. I can be a "B!tch"! ... though I am pretty honest about my own shortcomings to others...

Out & about... I am totally in control of my emotions -no matter what comes.. I pride myself on my communication skills with others ... if /when I am confronted with something..unfairness, even outrageous-ness , if I had a protest...

I was never one who raised my voice, started a fight, yelled or caused a scene at a party, gathering for instance..or with a stranger (that could be dangerous!)... I wouldn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable..(just being around that sort of thing - at another's house...you want to crawl under a rock.. it's very unsettling)... I would be more one to "De-escalate" something like this-if I was in the room..

If I felt the need to confront someone.. I would pull them aside and have a discussion trying to resolve ... share my concerns, whatever it may be...but never never never make a scene..

Also, I understand this just puts people's defenses UP, stirs the fire & makes things FAR WORSE.... 

Now at home...my hair is down... My husband, our kids ...they see my worst moments... they've been on the receiving end of some of my moods..  Though we all openly Joke about it.. a little PMS.. it feels like a cloud is suddenly hovering over me..







... if something upsets my apple cart.. it's like my brain gets stuck in irritation mode... 

2nd son will ask me if its "SHARK WEEK".... Husband might say he needs to get out the cage & put duct tape over my mouth.... honestly I love this banter....I laugh right along with them....it's almost like a release... I know they love me.. 

But still I will say "my poor husband" sometimes...as they can be at the brunt of my moods.. generally brought about by something -even outside the family.. but sometimes the kids too...Even husband on occasion... so yeah.. I can surely be a B in a moment.. you don't want on the receiving end.. 

My husband has called me a "bull in a china shop" a number of times.. if I don't get satisfaction dealing with the cable company or someone on the phone.. some ERROR... I'm no joy to deal with... 

Though my husband, his presence, listening to what ever is going on in my world...this calms me... and often it flutters away.... or he gives me sex.. I need sex on a regular basis or I will get very agitated.. and cause a fight with him.. (again poor man) though he can think of far worse things to deal with..


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> I'm a b!tch. I do b!tchy things all the time. On the weekend I told my dad off at a family brunch for paying for only one of the grandkids meals. He TOTALLY favors my neice and it pisses everyone off and when I saw him paying in secret for her meal while ignoring all the other grandkids yet again I snapped.
> 
> So what b!tchy thing have you done lately?


I don't think what you describe is being a *****. You are speaking up when things are not right. I would have probably done the same - and I have done. I must admit have had difficulty telling my parents off, but sometimes it has to be done. My mother has a habit, when shopping with my daughter and her other grandchild, buying my niece anything she asks for (she is a very grabby child and my mother cannot say no to her). Because my daughter never asks for anything she comes home empty handed. So I had to have an assertive 'word' with both my mother and my niece. Felt a bit upset about it but it had to be done. 

When I think of someone who is truly a ***** is the type of person who has a need to bring others down, find fault, gossip about things they shouldn't, back stab, triangulate friends, humiliate someone just for fun, is nice to your face but mean behind your back, manipulative, selfish, lacks empathy and is generally spiteful and vindictive. 

Someone whose drug of choice is belittling people for fun. Like any addict they self destruct eventually. 

So no I'm pretty sure I am not a *****. 0


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Nope.

People don't piss me off. I'm almost never angry. I see *****y people, or just jerks, but that is their problem not mine. 

If I get frustrated on the phone (with the cable company, IRS, whomever) I just hang up and try again. 

I wonder if it's a birth-order thing?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I have a reputation of not suffering fools well. 

One time my daughters, their friends and I were at the mall till closing. On our way out we stopped at a small bakery to buy cookies. Standing 5th in line I watched 3 employees as the took away trays of goodies, wrapped them and took them in the back, while 1 employee worked 1 of 3 cash registers. By the time we got to the front to put in our order I was told they didn't have the cookies we wanted. I said," I just saw a full tray being wrapped and taken to the back so yes you do have them." The girl rolled her eyes and pointed to the spot ( now empty) where those cookies should be and said, "if that spot is empty it means we don't have those cookies." Back and forth a bit until I asked for a manager, none on duty, and finally the guy who had taken the FULL tray of cookies brought them back out and filled the 1/2 pound box I had asked for. I paid and turned around to see my gang had backed up about 15 feet, their friends giggling and my daughters covering their faces in mortification. The one friend turned to my oldest and said "okay I see what you mean now." Mom doesn't tolerate fools.

But I'm older now and have honed my skills to be more assertively persuasive before I let the b!tch out to take control of a foolish situation.

Recently I got a call from my 25 year old daughter to proudly tell me of her using the b!tch skills she learned watching me. So proud of her!


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Those outside our family & a few close friends would likely be surprised that yeah.. I can be a "B!tch"!


Not a chance am I buying this.

I'm not a b!tch. But as I get older I'm increasingly unfiltered. There has to be SOME upside to this whole aging thing other than senior discounts at Denny's.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

I guess 'b!tch' has taken on a whole new meaning because none of those examples fit the definition I know. They're just examples of being assertive. I think it used to mean vindictive and nasty, someone spoiling for a fight. It was the equivalent of a guy being called a 'pr!ck'.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

No, I'm not a b!tch. But I can get pretty irritable though.


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## Rasputin (Jul 26, 2015)

VermisciousKnid said:


> I guess 'b!tch' has taken on a whole new meaning because none of those examples fit the definition I know. They're just examples of being assertive. I think it used to mean vindictive and nasty, someone spoiling for a fight. It was the equivalent of a guy being called a 'pr!ck'.


My thoughts as well. Do you take joy in causing pain just because you can? Then you're a b!tch. Calling out a relative for being a sh!tty person is not being a b!tch because you did so out of love and compassion for the other kids and their feelings. 

Women need to stop labeling each other as "b!tchy" for simply being assertive. Likewise, stop viewing being a true b!tch as a badge of honor. A true b!tch is just a horrible human being.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

@Rasputin and @VermisciousKnid


You're both right. But it's been my experience that a woman being assertive (who also happens to be agitated) is labeled a b!tch. So I decided to accept the label and redefine what a b!tch is. Now I lable true b!tches, as you've described them to be as Bat **** Crazy B!tch.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

GorillaT said:


> Not a chance am I buying this.


 Why would you not believe me..(or maybe you are kidding - I can't tell?)... are you questioning my self awareness - viewing my own behavior ? Do I come across as a B to you in the majority of my posts here ? 

I am generally a happy engaging individual.. approachable.. a smile on my face... it doesn't matter who I work with, I generally get along well with them.. I am 3 months in on a new job.. . one of the bosses (which is not well liked at all -Oh the DRAMA!) asked me when I am coming full time.. she commended me on my work performance, then added I have a very nice personality... This really IS how I am looked upon by others .. 

I offer to help, I say thank you.. I listen to others.. I show interest... I can be a peacemaker.. I do not ENJOY rocking the boat out & about .. why would I.. I have to work with these people.. I do the best I can to get along...I don't want to be disliked and despised, a scowl on my face all the time.. (I try to avoid those people)..... I have always enjoyed working with the public also.. new faces I like.. 

But I'm not a push over either... You push me too far.. I'm going to speak up for myself. I just happen to evaluate when it's wise to do this.. or basically a worthless pursuit is all..


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

No SA, I was being serious. From your posts you come across as a very sweet-natured person, and it's very difficult for me to imagine you ever being a b!tch, even to those who may have it coming.

Sorry for leaving you with doubt as to what I meant.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

GorillaT said:


> No SA, I was being serious. From your posts you come across as a very sweet-natured person, and it's very difficult for me to imagine you ever being a b!tch, even to those who may have it coming.
> 
> Sorry for leaving you with doubt as to what I meant.


Oh I was reading your words the other way entirely...what a disconnect...

I can be impatient, somewhat demanding - depending (it's that Choleric temperament) .. it's THERE... I can swear like a truck driver and rip someone a new A-hole.. I've done it to one of our guy friends once.. and he never forgot it.. though he looks back fondly on it -because he says it helped him see the light.. 

I'm not the most patient person (though again.. this is not an issue at work).. I can be pessimistic minded... it's not all Pollyanna all the time.. if someone asked our kids ...comparing Dad & me... 

Ok.. I just called our daughter over ... I asked her if she thinks I am a B... her words (half laughing) : "Sometimes"... I guess we take it in a light hearted manner... she mentions when I get my period.. but she did add... "Not that often" .....I asked her to describe her dad.. she said "he's always a nice person"..

So from the horses mouth so to speak..


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> @Rasputin and @VermisciousKnid
> 
> 
> You're both right. But it's been my experience that a woman being assertive (who also happens to be agitated) is labeled a b!tch. So I decided to accept the label and redefine what a b!tch is. Now I lable true b!tches, as you've described them to be as Bat **** Crazy B!tch.


Exactly. My dad didn't say so, but I am sure he was thinking to himself what a b!tch I was. I don't think of myself as one, but you can sure bet other people do.

The thing about the cookies reminded me about a grocery store experience I had. They had chicken breasts packaged in packs of two and packs of four. The packs of four were half what the packs of two were, per kg. HALF. I found this ridiculous so I asked the meat lady about it, and told her I was kinda feeling ripped off because I only wanted two, not four, and since we were camping I really couldn't freeze the other two for later. She was polite about it, but I could just tell she was thinking 'what a b!tch' to herself. I was rather insistent, and did end up getting a discount, probably just so she could get back to work.

My kids tell me ALL THE TIME when we're out eating to NOT complain. They work in kitchens and it's a pet peeve of theirs. But if my fork isn't clean or the peppers smell off, why would I NOT complain?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

No. I can be pushed or forced to become b!tchy by circumstances. At that point...I will get it done...whatever "it" is...and look out. 
>


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Under normal circumstances, Ol'Arb is about as laid back and unbothered as they come!

But let's just say, however, that if you push him up against a wall hard enough, then he becomes a veritable, but God fearing, "rat bastard!"*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> @Rasputin and @VermisciousKnid
> 
> 
> You're both right. But it's been my experience that a woman being assertive (who also happens to be agitated) is labeled a b!tch. So I decided to accept the label and redefine what a b!tch is. Now I lable true b!tches, as you've described them to be as Bat **** Crazy B!tch.


I get it. But as much as you try to take the word and make it work for you I think you can't eliminate the negative connotations. As illustrated above, you have to do some extra work to make it clear that there are good and bad kinds of b!tches.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Only for one day out of the month! 
But I cannot help that! Can i? 
The rest of the time I'm pretty happy go lucky. 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> One time my daughters, their friends and I were at the mall till closing. On our way out we stopped at a small bakery to buy cookies. Standing 5th in line I watched 3 employees as the took away trays of goodies, wrapped them and took them in the back, while 1 employee worked 1 of 3 cash registers. By the time we got to the front to put in our order I was told they didn't have the cookies we wanted. I said," I just saw a full tray being wrapped and taken to the back so yes you do have them." The girl rolled her eyes and pointed to the spot ( now empty) where those cookies should be and said, "if that spot is empty it means we don't have those cookies." Back and forth a bit until I asked for a manager, none on duty, and finally the guy who had taken the FULL tray of cookies brought them back out and filled the 1/2 pound box I had asked for. I paid and turned around to see my gang had backed up about 15 feet, their friends giggling and my daughters covering their faces in mortification. The one friend turned to my oldest and said "okay I see what you mean now." Mom doesn't tolerate fools.


My wife would do what you did and occasionally still does, she's never been the type to suffer fools at all.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Hope1964 said:


> My kids tell me ALL THE TIME when we're out eating to NOT complain. They work in kitchens and it's a pet peeve of theirs. But if my fork isn't clean or the peppers smell off, why would I NOT complain?


Here is the way I would handle.. dirty fork.. I'd probably grab one from another table.. I can think if worse things in life.. let's say my food was brought cold.. I would ask.. (even saying I hate to be a bother) if it could be heated again...(I may have done this like once in my life). 

I once asked the waitress if the coleslaw was good (her opinion) before I ordered it.. I thought it was AWFUL.. I was compelled to say something -to see if I could get something else in it's place... she was very nice about it.. It doesn't hurt to ask..

I figure if you complain loudly, boldly.... you know what.. that waitress just might SPIT in your food back there in the kitchen...(I'd entertain that thought even).. I'm sure it happens sometimes ...


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

I could stand to be more (or some) of a b!tch, meaning more assertive.

I've been told many times I'm too nice, I'm a pushover, and I should stand up for myself more.

I'm non-confrontational to a fault. I go out of my way to avoid conflict. On a side note, can anyone tell me - why do you think this? Am I just a coward? Or do I not think enough of myself to believe I'm worth defending?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Nomorebeans said:


> I could stand to be more (or some) of a b!tch, meaning more assertive.
> 
> I've been told many times I'm too nice, I'm a pushover, and I should stand up for myself more.
> 
> I'm non-confrontational to a fault. I go out of my way to avoid conflict. On a side note, can anyone tell me - why do you think this? Am I just a coward? Or do I not think enough of myself to believe I'm worth defending?


I believe it's more of an inborn temperament thing.. people are naturally wired a certain way...contrast the  Phlegmatic - naturally more passive to the  Choleric, a tendency to be bossy, wants to be in control... 

Click on those above links.. it will explain the 4 temperament types.. we are all a mixture of course, but 1 or 2 probably stands out -with your reading.. you'll be thinking "That sounds like me!"..

Each has it's own strengths and weaknesses.. so it's not that any one is better over the other.. 

It just means it doesn't come natural for you to want to push the bar.. you'd seek peace, before confrontation...even if a little confrontation may be helpful.. 

We all have something to work on... this is no different than some of us trying to lower our "bi*ch" bar...


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Nomorebeans said:


> I could stand to be more (or some) of a b!tch, meaning more assertive.
> 
> I've been told many times I'm too nice, I'm a pushover, and I should stand up for myself more.
> 
> I'm non-confrontational to a fault. I go out of my way to avoid conflict. On a side note, can anyone tell me - why do you think this? Am I just a coward? Or do I not think enough of myself to believe I'm worth defending?


Being more assertive does not have to mean being a *****. I have managed a lot of people in my working life and the most effective way to get the best is to be assertive but respectful. Same with how I deal with my kids, no need to be a ***** and not something I want to be.

Being assertive simply means you know what your value is, you are sure of your belief in what you are doing/saying and then executing it in a level headed way.


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## Síocháin (Mar 11, 2016)

I lost my inner b***h but I am looking for her. She wants out again so I really feel sorry for the person who is on the receiving end of things when I blow. And, I'm about to. I have 3 targets.>


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> I used to use an air horn.


My husband used my son's tuba. Boy did he get up quick!


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

I am assertive, and stand my ground. If that makes me a *****, then that is what I am.


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## Curse of Millhaven (Feb 16, 2013)

I don’t know that I’d call myself a b!tch, but I can be a ferocious little beast when I need to be.

If attacked or when protecting someone I love or something I believe in, I do not back down. Ever.

I’m gentle and sweet-natured but when I blow…I go nuclear. I get so angry I literally shake with rage, my canines elongate, and claws erupt from my fingertips and…Heads. Fvcking. Roll.

The rest of the time I’m mostly just kind of a mild assh0le. Very considerate and polite, but still…pretty much an assh0le.

This is what I imagine people think when I enter a room (or a thread!  )…


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

^ your whole post had me laughing!

No, I'm not a b!tch. 

Assertiveness has been mentioned here and the two ought not be confused. I can be calmly assertive and a strong-willed advocate when needed. The assertion is being fine-tuned, recognizing my own intention in the moment and the scene around me.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I have a reputation of not suffering fools well.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I'm a run of the mill Ahole. I think all women have a ***** switch. Some times it is hard to find, but when that switch gets flipped. Holy Bat Sh1t Batman.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

LOL I had this book when I was a little boy, but I thought the title was different. Meh who knows with old age and all.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> I could stand to be more (or some) of a b!tch, meaning more assertive.
> 
> I've been told many times I'm too nice, I'm a pushover, and I should stand up for myself more.
> 
> I'm non-confrontational to a fault. I go out of my way to avoid conflict. On a side note, can anyone tell me - why do you think this? Am I just a coward? Or do I not think enough of myself to believe I'm worth defending?


maybe you are a nice person in a rotten world.

I used to trust people, but not so much anymore.

my wife married me because I was nice, not like her father.

i do not want someone to marry me because I am nice. I want them to marry me because they love and desire me.

she still denies that any thing ever happened, but i get the calls saying horrible things happened.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Interesting. I guess everyone has their own definition, but I suppose true b behavior was never tolerated in any social circles that I grew up in.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Zombie


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