# Would you be mad?



## CN2622 (Mar 22, 2021)

I know this depends on the woman but are crotchless panties considered a fetish or something that most woman would consider normal if their husband bought them for them. I never knew these existed but saw them last night and was thinking they might help my wife with some of her shyness about being uncovered.


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## Helping Hand (Sep 8, 2020)

There is nothing wrong as long as shea comfortable to wear them. Also its great for a couple to do something different as its more enjoyable.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

I'd stop asking what her reaction might be and just follow through. You'll never know how she'll react by asking in this forum. 
I've read some of your recent posts. She has an issue with being naked. Those panties could be a way to get her to try something a little risque' that isn't a huge step. 
But as I've said, stop asking and just do it. Your intensions are the health of the sexual expression of your marriage ...


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## gold5932 (Jun 10, 2020)

If I had a problem being naked, I would be horrified at crotch less panties. If your life is good, sex is good, why don't you just let it be?


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

It depends upon the likelihood of her thinking you bought them for yourself, not her. If it's something she'd never consider on her own, I wouldn't spring them on her as a surprise.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Sounds kind of tacky. You’d probably do better getting her flowers or something pretty. Women always see through gifts you buy that are really for yourself.


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## CN2622 (Mar 22, 2021)

gold5932 said:


> If I had a problem being naked, I would be horrified at crotch less panties. If your life is good, sex is good, why don't you just let it be?


Things are not good that is why I am on this site.


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## gold5932 (Jun 10, 2020)

CN2622 said:


> Things are not good that is why I am on this site.


If she is a size 14, why not go on an exercise plan with her. Long walks, maybe bikes, go to the mall and walk around. Just don't tell her it's for her. But honestly some women just don't like their bodies no matter how small they are.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Size 14 is still bangin’ IMO.

I think the main thing holding you back CN is deference to your wife.

Get a copy of “The Married Man’s Sex Life Primer” by Athol Kay and also check out “The Dead Bedroom Fix” by @dadstartingover and in particular check out the parts about “nice guys”. If you need to, go back to the NMMNG book by Glover.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

CN2622 said:


> Things are not good that is why I am on this site.


Sounds to me like the "gift" might actually be a "covert contract."

You might be better off learning to accept her as she is as gifts like that are not going to force her to change who she really is and what she is comfortable with. Even though you want her to change, she is the one who will decide if she wants to change.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

I just asked my wife if they'd interest her, and got "why, I'd rather wear a short skirt commando, and make damn sure you knew about it before we left the house."

I'd be inclined to agree with her. I'm not sure of their purpose.


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## CN2622 (Mar 22, 2021)

dubsey said:


> I just asked my wife if they'd interest her, and got "why, I'd rather wear a short skirt commando, and make damn sure you knew about it before we left the house."
> 
> I'd be inclined to agree with her. I'm not sure of their purpose.


My wife usually will wear a skirt but I’m trying to help her feel more comfortable being undressed.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

In another thread, you said she has gotten over being shy about her lower half being exposed. So what's up with the crotchless panties? Frankly, they're silly. A coworker gave me a pair as a gag Christmas gift and my husband and I had quite the time laughing.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

CN2622 said:


> My wife usually will wear a skirt but I’m trying to help her feel more comfortable being undressed.


Shouldn't she be doing her own shopping? 

Buying her crotchless underwear isn't going to "help her feel more comfortable being undressed". That's her issue to sort out because she's an adult and not a child, right?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

To be honest, if I was having sex problems, like not being able to be naked in bed during sex, if my husband gave me crotchless underwear, I would kill him.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Does she like lingerie? Because if she doesn't and you give her crotchless panties, I think she's going to get mad. 

Maybe you can start with something more popular like a set of panties and a bra, or a babydoll, a tank top, etc.

I think you are trying too hard! Go slow with the flow. Changes cannot be overnight. Be patient and ask what she'd like to wear, what makes her comfortable in bed.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

The hysterics expressed here over crotchless panties is really amusing.

People buy these things for a lot of reasons, the OP's wife has difficulty being naked, and he's looking to help slowly encourage her in a difficult sexual relationship. I commend him for trying and for putting ideas out there. They may work and they may not but they have a problem to sort out and he's trying. 

I encourage the OP to ignore the over-the-top responses - let your wife know you're coming from a place that is difficult for both of you, that you're trying your best to understand and that all your attempts might not work but you have both your best interests at heart. 

They're crotchless panties, they're not the ten plagues of Egypt.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

FlaviusMaximus said:


> The hysterics expressed here over crotchless panties is really amusing.
> 
> People buy these things for a lot of reasons, the OP's wife has difficulty being naked, and he's looking to help slowly encourage her in a difficult sexual relationship. I commend him for trying and for putting ideas out there. They may work and they may not but they have a problem to sort out and he's trying.
> 
> ...


You're obviously not a woman. Men and women have different life experiences with sex. Maybe you can't understand the responses of the women here because you're not a woman. Don't discount them.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

FlaviusMaximus said:


> The hysterics expressed here over crotchless panties is really amusing.
> 
> People buy these things for a lot of reasons, the OP's wife has difficulty being naked, and he's looking to help slowly encourage her in a difficult sexual relationship. I commend him for trying and for putting ideas out there. They may work and they may not but they have a problem to sort out and he's trying.
> 
> ...


you obviously never had a partner with sexual issues, otherwise you wouldn't be posting this. The OP should be discussing lingerie with his wife. Buying crotchless panties for his wife, when he knows she has severe body image issues, it's disrespectful.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I think crotchless panties are generally way too far out there for someone who is already not comfortable. I think that would probably mortify her. I wouldn't try it.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

Livvie said:


> You're obviously not a woman. Men and women have different life experiences with sex. Maybe you can't understand the responses of the women here because you're not a woman. Don't discount them.


I am not a women and I am well-aware that men and women have different life experiences with sex AND those experiences are not always defined by gender. Yes, we all have opinions and are free to have them just as I am free to express my opinion that some of those are over the top. _"...if my husband gave me crotchless underwear, I would kill him."_ Is over the top.

I have encouraged the OP to explain where he is coming from no matter what attempt he might be making, it's likely in his case that many kinds of attempts might be difficult...context is everything.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I gave my wife crotchless panties a couple times when they came with sets I liked. The first time I have to say I was a bit worried how she’d react but no issues whatsoever other than she rarely if ever will wear a set together sadly 😫


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

FlaviusMaximus said:


> I am not a women and I am well-aware that men and women have different life experiences with sex AND those experiences are not always defined by gender. Yes, we all have opinions and are free to have them just as I am free to express my opinion that some of those are over the top. *"...if my husband gave me crotchless underwear, I would kill him." Is over the top.*
> 
> I have encouraged the OP to explain where he is coming from no matter what attempt he might be making, it's likely in his case that many kinds of attempts might be difficult...context is everything.


That poster is male.🤣


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think crotchless panties are generally way too far out there for someone who is already not comfortable. I think that would probably mortify her. I wouldn't try it.


But they need to discuss this. He can't just drop the bomb on her... hey, honey, I now you hate your body... but please find some sexy lingerie to wear for me...


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> That poster is male.🤣


Ya got me...


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

In Absentia said:


> But they need to discuss this. He can't just drop the bomb on her... hey, honey, I now you hate your body... but please find some sexy lingerie to wear for me...


It doesn’t sound so attractive when you put it like that 😂


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

In Absentia said:


> But they need to discuss this. He can't just drop the bomb on her... hey, honey, I now you hate your body... but please find some sexy lingerie to wear for me...


He's made some progress showing her some things from a nontrashy lingerie catalogue online I sent him. He told me she liked a couple of chemises. Nothing like crotchless panties. He shouldn't get his hopes up about that. That's really getting into stripper/prostitute territory. No reason to think she would go there.


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## CN2622 (Mar 22, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> In another thread, you said she has gotten over being shy about her lower half being exposed. So what's up with the crotchless panties? Frankly, they're silly. A coworker gave me a pair as a gag Christmas gift and my husband and I had quite the time laughing.


She is not 100% over it but has gotten better lately. I was just throwing some ideas out there to get some feedback.


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## CN2622 (Mar 22, 2021)

pastasauce79 said:


> Does she like lingerie? Because if she doesn't and you give her crotchless panties, I think she's going to get mad.
> 
> Maybe you can start with something more popular like a set of panties and a bra, or a babydoll, a tank top, etc.
> 
> I think you are trying too hard! Go slow with the flow. Changes cannot be overnight. Be patient and ask what she'd like to wear, what makes her comfortable in bed.


Thanks for the ideas. She doesn’t really wear bras otherwise I would start there.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

DownByTheRiver said:


> He's made some progress showing her some things from a nontrashy lingerie catalogue online I sent him. He told me she liked a couple of chemises. Nothing like crotchless panties. He shouldn't get his hopes up about that. That's really getting into stripper/prostitute territory. No reason to think she would go there.


We didn't know this... obviously, this is coming from your private messaging. But, as I suspected, she likes the "non offensive" stuff...


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

I was curious too and looked up the cost of La Perla lingerie. 😲

700$ bras? 300$ panties? For that price, they better come with a sewn in, pearl plated, rotating dong that buzzes out Keith Sweat tunes.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

C.C. says ... said:


> 700$ bras? 300$ panties? For that price, they better come with a sewn in, pearl plated, rotating dong that buzzes out Keith Sweat tunes.


Love is priceless.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I dunno....judging by what you are saying, something telling me this would be like giving her a butter knife to eat a bowl of soup....


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## CN2622 (Mar 22, 2021)

hamadryad said:


> I dunno....judging by what you are saying, something telling me this would be like giving her a butter knife to eat a bowl of soup....


Yeah I am passing on this idea. We got some slips yesterday but we didn’t try them out last night. I appreciate all the advice. I am going to try adding music.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

This just occurred to me, so I have to ask. Do you just expect her to get undressed when you're ready to go, or are you trying to tenderly remove her skirt etc. and she's telling you no?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

CN2622 said:


> Yeah I am passing on this idea. We got some slips yesterday but we didn’t try them out last night. I appreciate all the advice. I am going to try adding music.


Look, my wife has body image problems and even real silk camisole and tap pants were too much for her to wear.

Everyone is different, but are you really trying to help her or is this a covert contract for your benefit? You would probably be better off having her get some individual counseling than spending your money trying to change her body image issues.

Good luck.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

CN2622 said:


> I know this depends on the woman but are crotchless panties considered a fetish or something that most woman would consider normal if their husband bought them for them. I never knew these existed but saw them last night and was thinking they might help my wife with some of her shyness about being uncovered.


Depends upon motivation. A fetish/ kink is basically some that is desired or needed towards sexual satisfaction. To provide an example, men wearing women's panties, and for this case I'm going to stick to what you get in Walmart and the line. For some men, it is a fetish or kink and it's part of their sexual satisfaction. For men like my husband, it is purely a matter of comfort.

If your wife indeed is able to feel less self conscious and "exposed" when wearing crotchless panties, then it doesn't technically run into the area of fetish//kink. Style might also make a difference and it might even be possible to create them, if one of you is good with a machine. She might feel just as or more exposed with sexy lacy types, while a more mundane looking pair with an exposed area might comfort her. There is also a new product out that advertises as allowing for women to piss in the woods, so to speak, although that was the literal example they used. It's basically an overlap of material similar to men's underwear, that they can pull aside to urinate. 

ETA: Looking at some of the other responses, yes, talk to her about this, before buying. See if this is an idea she thinks might work. If doubtful, but not outright opposing it, suggest it as a trial, with a few different styles. The results could surprise her. Discuss how they feel physically and how they make her feel emotionally. If two seem not right by one more right than the other, try to figure out why and then find something more that direction.
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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

CN2622 said:


> I know this depends on the woman but are crotchless panties considered a fetish or something that most woman would consider normal if their husband bought them for them. I never knew these existed but saw them last night and was thinking they might help my wife with some of her shyness about being uncovered.


OMG, is this a question or a confession? 

If I went to my wife and told her that I recently saw some crotchless panties and asked her if I could buy her some.... she would have A LOT of questions starting with A) WTF exactly were you doing that caused you to see crotchless panties? and B) I've told you repeatedly that once your underwear gets worn out and has holes in it that you need to throw it away!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

maquiscat said:


> Depends upon motivation. A fetish/ kink is basically some that is desired or needed towards sexual satisfaction. To provide an example, men wearing women's panties, and for this case I'm going to stick to what you get in Walmart and the line. For some men, it is a fetish or kink and it's part of their sexual satisfaction.* For men like my husband*, it is purely a matter of comfort.


Which is totally irrelevant to this thread. His wife is female and you are, well, not.


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## Pip’sJourney (Mar 17, 2021)

I think I would tell her that you would like to buy her some new things. Nightgowns or a slip and such.. Have HER find a website where she likes the things there and they have her size. This is harder that you think.. Then maybe sit with her and have her pick out a few things. What my husband thinks I will look good in is not actually what fits my body. So maybe if you work together to find something you BOTH like she will be more receptive. Baby steps... before the crotchless panties.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> Which is totally irrelevant to this thread. His wife is female and you are, well, not.


It's an illustration of how a given something can be a fetish/kink to some and simply a matter of convenience or comfort to others. He asked the question of whether it would be a fetish or not. I illustrated how context would determine such.

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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

maquiscat said:


> It's an illustration of how a given something can be a fetish/kink to some and simply a matter of convenience or comfort to others. He asked the question of whether it would be a fetish or not. I illustrated how context would determine such.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


You are correct. He asked whether or not the panties would be a fetish. so your answer is very valid.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

maquiscat said:


> It's an illustration of how a given something can be a fetish/kink to some and simply a matter of convenience or comfort to others. He asked the question of whether it would be a fetish or not. I illustrated how context would determine such.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


You mean context like crotchless? If your husband finds women's crotchless panties comfortable, more power to him.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> You mean context like crotchless? If your husband finds women's crotchless panties comfortable, more power to him.


No, context of use. For example, some people use paraffin wax for skin care or for heat on muscle applications. Others use it as a BDSM sensation play. The use of paraffin wax as a fetish/kink or not depends upon it's context of use. The use of simple women's panties worn by men as a fetish/kink depends upon context. If they are doing it purely for comfort reasons, then it's not a fetish. If they are doing it for the sexual thrill of the act, then it is. I could use foot massages as an example. If you are getting or giving a foot massage because it sexually turns you on then it's a fetish/kink in that context. If it is just because your foot or your partners foot muscles are sore, then it is not. For the OP wife's specific case, if she is wearing the crotchless panties because it makes her more comfortable and not feel as "exposed" as she does when naked, then wearing them is not a fetish/kink for her. If she is wearing them because they give her a sexual thrill, then it is. I know of a woman who wears crotchless panties every day, and it's not a kink/fetish. She wears them because she can then just hike up her skirt and use the bathroom, and doesn't have to pull anything down around her ankles. Context of use.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

maquiscat said:


> No, context of use. For example, some people use paraffin wax for skin care or for heat on muscle applications. Others use it as a BDSM sensation play. The use of paraffin wax as a fetish/kink or not depends upon it's context of use. The use of simple women's panties worn by men as a fetish/kink depends upon context. If they are doing it purely for comfort reasons, then it's not a fetish. If they are doing it for the sexual thrill of the act, then it is. I could use foot massages as an example. If you are getting or giving a foot massage because it sexually turns you on then it's a fetish/kink in that context. If it is just because your foot or your partners foot muscles are sore, then it is not. For the OP wife's specific case, if she is wearing the crotchless panties because it makes her more comfortable and not feel as "exposed" as she does when naked, then wearing them is not a fetish/kink for her. If she is wearing them because they give her a sexual thrill, then it is. I know of a woman who wears crotchless panties every day, and it's not a kink/fetish. She wears them because she can then just hike up her skirt and use the bathroom, and doesn't have to pull anything down around her ankles. Context of use.


Re the woman at the very end of your post and the skirt. Why wear underwear at all then? Confused!


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Livvie said:


> Re the woman at the very end of your post and the skirt. Why wear underwear at all then? Confused!


Because it's what made her comfortable.

However, I thought we agreed to put each other on ignore. Are you withdrawing that agreement, and I can go back to making comments to your posts again?

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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

In Absentia said:


> But they need to discuss this. He can't just drop the bomb on her... hey, honey, I now you hate your body... but please find some sexy lingerie to wear for me...


Why? This is really tiny small gift - and can be used just during play. If she doesn’t like it, then she won’t wear it.

although I agree that in this case nice baby doll would be way better gift -it is sexy while giving her comfort of not being totally naked and expised


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

CN2622 said:


> My wife usually will wear a skirt but I’m trying to help her feel more comfortable being undressed.


This will not work if your wife has body image issues. Being naked isn’t the problem, it is how she sees herself when she looks in the mirror.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

WandaJ said:


> Why? This is really tiny small gift - and can be used just during play. If she doesn’t like it, then she won’t wear it.


She has serious issues with her body image. It's like asking someone who hates flying to jump out of a plane. I would discuss it first.


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## Fergalla (Jan 19, 2021)

I’m honestly not sure. I know what it’s like to have a wife with body image issues. There was a time she thought she was asexual because she was actually afraid of someone seeing her body and thought it was unloveable. Through gradual work and constant reassurance on my part, we were able to get through it. Now she is not afraid of sex and she doesn’t see me gifting her underwear as an insult. I recently bought her these high-waisted ones from here shop.join-eby.com and she actually really liked them! I think you have to work with her issues through a different route, buying crotchless underwear seems like an attempt to work around the problem rather than solve it. I think she would see it the same way.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I don't know if she would be mad or not, but I almost would equate it to a guy buying his wife a vacuum for her birthday, because he thought the house was a mess....

I don't think you can do much to change how she feels about herself...It may even be some vibe that she is getting from you...This is a very touchy subject and I would have to agree with some of the women here...it's probably a lousy idea...and wont go over well at all...


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## Fergalla (Jan 19, 2021)

Thanks everyone


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> To be honest, if I was having sex problems, like not being able to be naked in bed during sex, if my husband gave me crotchless underwear, I would kill him.


you could make HIM wear them!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think crotchless panties are generally way too far out there for someone who is already not comfortable. I think that would probably mortify her. I wouldn't try it.


i am not sure what the actual use of them is.
If she wanted to shock/titillate him, wear NO PANTIES, and when they are alone (like at the mall in some secluded space) slowly raise your short skirt and show him you are not wearing any panties.


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