# 29 years and stillin a big rut..but I want out.



## 2betex (May 16, 2012)

Well back and still dismayed, having been going to marriage counseling for 6 weeks now. It appears that I am in the wrong. I am now going to see another counselor for stress management. I have a spouse who is convinced she is alright and she does nothing wrong. I want to leave but we have 29years of history. I have always given up what I want for her and my family. No kids though.... I am told I need anger managment, but it is frustration... 

A couple of weekends ago we got in a huge argument and she slapped me when I told that she needs to get a life and start being her own person. Stop leanining on me for all decisions... It was a sucker punch. I was so pissed I wanted to leave right then and there. 

I need to follow my heart but the pull to help her is great... 

She is worried about loosing her job now, so she is extremly stressed and with us talking seperation, and my possible new job in texas. It seems to be an awful lot to deal with. 

I feel I should stay... I am so friggin out of my mind, I do not know what to do. 

I want to leave her for a girl I know and we have talked about it which adds more stress. I could not go and do that in good conscience.. She also said that we could not get togther until we both clean up our own messes... I get it but it makes it difficult.

So Friday I go to a couselor for me and the wife does nothing... Why do people in this situation continue to try to resolve everthing for the both. I have seen this before. Now I am doing it. We both know it is over but cannot bring ourselves to actualy do it.

Aw crap I am stuck in a rut and can not get out yet.. If the job I want in texas pans out, it will make some of this easier as I can focus on my life with out worring about her so much. I need this to end as I am dying and do not want to miss out on being with someone who is a team player and I do not have to support emoitionally and fiscally. My wife makes good money also... so it is financail decisions that I refer to... 

Damn it.


----------

