# Can't make sense of it



## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

D will be final in May. He moved out (after I made him) last April. No real reason for the D, just couldn't be married after 28 years. Now, I get these random text messages. This week's said" DO you want to go the baseball game with our 2 son's and a friend on April 14th?" Now, I know he had the tickets and had asked our son to go, its our son's birthday the next day, and since STBXH doesn't see him much, it seemed like a good idea. At first I thought he wanted me to go with them, but no, he wondered if I wanted to go instead of him. Why would he want out of this chance to be with both of our kids? So I texted to see if he couldn't go for some reason and he said, No, I just remembered how much you like to go and so I thought I would give you the ticket if you wanted it. BS-it was 10PM and he just wanted me to know they were going. Then today he sends me a text and tells me what his plans for Easter are with our kids. They are 23 and 25, I already know because they tell me. Is this just the last weird thing before they final D? Did you experience this weird contact? Tonight I got a totally unsolicited text with the phone number of the painter we have used in the past. I have been taking wallpaper down and will have the room painted soon, but I didn't ask for the number, certainly not today. :scratchhead:
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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

ITs too weird to even comment on, right?


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## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

I am in a similar situation; my STBX and I were married for 23 years~he cheated on me~but he also sends me strange texts and calls me with unsolicited advice about this or that. In my situation, I believe that part of it is guilt and still wanting to take some charge and be the "man of the house." I have asked that he not do this, and it slowed down, but every once in awhile, there they are again. We have two small children and also grown children, so we must still be in contact with each other frequently; however we do live in different states. I have tried to ignore his unwelcome contact, but when it started bothering me, I would have to remind him that I can take care of things myself; which for the most part I can. When you are married for as long as we have been, it can be hard to break some of those old routines/habits. I give you a big sigh for your situation, but I also understand!


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

That might be it exactly. He came to day and took the remainder of his belongings, I have been asking for months for him to do that. I mean I guess in one sense, it makes some sense since we have been together for 30 years, that he thinks about me and remembers things at odd times. I know I can't always tell when something will hit me. Bad, bad moments coming into the house to find his things gone. Crawled into bed, covers up to my nose


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I've had some of the same weird stuff lately. My estranged husband and I have been separated for four years. The only reason we aren't divorce already is because I must have health insurance through his employer. Anyway, I haven't spoken to him since Thanksgiving or had any other contact. 

A few nights ago he called me out of the blue, and we chatted for more than 45 minutes. He then calls me yesterday afternoon and wants to chat again. He's not even acting like the ego driven, lying, cheating person he became in 2006. And today he e-mailed me something my daughter had requested from him. Why not e-mail it to her?:scratchhead:

I certainly can't make sense of it either. That's partly why I started a new thread,http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/43410-ole-seven-year-itch.html , the other day. My mother says his behavior is because of the "seven year itch rule". She thinks his MLC is coming to an end and he wants to make amends.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

OK, I have to confess here, during my IC this week I realized that I may be creating my own "monster" by communicating with my STBXH. I have asked him to stay away and not communicate, but then I went and asked for his assistance with some things at our marital home. He may have interpreted this as permission to chat. I sent him an apology and explained that I was going to return to my previous "no unnecessary contact" rule. Will see where this new thing goes. So hard, when I truly want more contact, not less but can't stand it when he doesn't respond in the way I want.


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