# New here



## BecauseICan (Jan 21, 2019)

Hi everyone! I've been separated for a year after a pretty long marriage, I'm finding my way in the world on my own. I'vr been spending a lot of time with a really great man but I'm realizing that because I was young and innocent when I got married I have a lot to learn about men. And that's why I'm here!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

BecauseICan said:


> Hi everyone! I've been separated for a year after a pretty long marriage, I'm finding my way in the world on my own. I'vr been spending a lot of time with a really great man but I'm realizing that because I was young and innocent when I got married I have a lot to learn about men. And that's why I'm here!


Well, I happen to be a man. What would you like to know?


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## BecauseICan (Jan 21, 2019)

Everything. Do you have the cliff notes version? 😉


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here is one good set of cliff notes:

*Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives*

It's hard to know what to talk about with you since we have no idea what's going on in your life. Could you give us an example of a situation that has led to you posting here?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Here is one good set of cliff notes:
> 
> *Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives*
> 
> It's hard to know what to talk about with you since we have no idea what's going on in your life. Could you give us an example of a situation that has led to you posting here?


Beware. Dr Laura is not for everyone.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

And welcome.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

BecauseICan said:


> Everything. Do you have the cliff notes version? 😉


How about getting a little more specific and providing a little more background info so we know what we're talking about here.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

NobodySpecial said:


> Beware. Dr Laura is not for everyone.


Perhaps not but she is a good starting point for many. 

Dr Laura is like that brazen but wise old aunt that slaps you upside the head when you are doing something dumb as a kid. 

One of the problems with today's world is we have lost touch with our wise old aunts and grandmothers and other tribal and family elders that used to swat people over the head when they were starting to do dumb stuff. 

So now we have places like TAM where guys ask why their wives won't have sex with them after they've put on 40 lbs and sit in the recliner playing video games all night and women asking why none of the guys she blew in the restroom at the bar an hour after meeting them will be her steady BF or marry her.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

NobodySpecial said:


> Beware. Dr Laura is not for everyone.


Yes, she is controversial. But that particular book and the similar one for men are very good.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> Perhaps not but she is a good starting point for many.
> 
> Dr Laura is like that brazen but wise old aunt that slaps you upside the head when you are doing something dumb as a kid.
> 
> ...


All people need to have a filter when seeking advice. The problem I have with Dr Laura is that she has a hyper focus on a specific view of family rather than learning how to be in with the things that are important to a given individual.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

NobodySpecial said:


> All people need to have a filter when seeking advice. The problem I have with Dr Laura is that she has a hyper focus on a specific view of family rather than learning how to be in with the things that are important to a given individual.


The particular book that I suggested does not get into that. It's about women respecting themselves.

I think that most people are able to read something and figure out what part of it they want to accept and what part is not something that they can accept. I'm not sure that there is anyone who I agree with 100%, but I can still learn from people I don't agree with completely.


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## BecauseICan (Jan 21, 2019)

I looked at the book description and think I'd be just fine with the book. I ended up married to a guy who want the best for me because I was young and had no self esteem at all. After 18 years of being treated as though I could do nothing right I'm just now trying to learn how to accept myself. I've come a long way in the past year but have a long, long way to go. Oh how I wish I could wake up one morning and just know I was good enough...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BecauseICan said:


> I looked at the book description and think I'd be just fine with the book. I ended up married to a guy who want the best for me because I was young and had no self esteem at all. After 18 years of being treated as though I could do nothing right I'm just now trying to learn how to accept myself. I've come a long way in the past year but have a long, long way to go. Oh how I wish I could wake up one morning and just know I was good enough...


Why set your sights so low?

You are BETTER than good enough! You are AWESOME!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> The particular book that I suggested does not get into that. It's about women respecting themselves.


Cool. The book description talks about staying at home to raise your kids. 



> I think that most people are able to read something and figure out what part of it they want to accept and what part is not something that they can accept. I'm not sure that there is anyone who I agree with 100%, but I can still learn from people I don't agree with completely.


I agree.


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