# Great Acting Performances



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Got this idea for a thread from my reply I made in snap's thread. there's one thing I've learned about affairs, it's that many Waywards become fantastic actors/actresses, my own fWW included. Hollywood has nothing on some of these WSs. They could literally win an Oscar or Academy Award for some of their performances.

The sad part is that many BSs fall for these performances, especially after DDay. So many get fooled into False R time and time again. The same goes for Trickle Truth. Stick around long enough and read enough stories here and you'll see many BSs claim that their WS is genuinely remorseful, only to find out later that the WS simply took it underground. 

I honestly don't know which situation is worse. There's the unrepentant, unremorseful WS who flaunts the affair and basically rubs it in the BSs face, devastating the BSs self esteem. Then there's the WSs who put on great performances and manage to fool their BS into Trickle Truth and False R, and have to suffer DDay after DDay. Some can actually swear on their parent's lives, their children's lives, the bible, etc, etc.

OR is this simply an illusion, because in the aftermath of DDay and the ongoing trauma of the affair, the BS desperately wants to believe their WS? 

Any thoughts?


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## HusbandInPain (Nov 8, 2011)

I desperately want to believe my wife. But I'm taking steps to ensure that she cannot easily lie. I desperately want to see good in her, but I know there's bad there too. 

My wife has suprised me with how good a performer she is. That's why I never recognised what was going on. 

However, all their performances do in the long run is reveal them to be pathetic, and it trains the BS to look for it. I should, in an ironic way, be grateful. Thanks to the awesome performances, I won't miss the signs again.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

It was flaunted in my face. The texting, emails, and phone calls were not hiddlen. At one point, I was having a discussion with WS and his phone rings and he waves his hand dismissively at me as much as to say shut up, this is important.

The funny thing is this was done to wound me and yet he said he hated me, loved me, hated me. WS was essentially confused and hiding and running.

I knew what he was doing, he did not hide it from me. But once the divorce started he began to look frightened and tried talking me into staying as "roommates" etc...Even going as far as to talk reconcilation in a year and if he wanted me back he would get me back even if it meant sitting outside my door, even if I was married again, that would not stop him: his words.

All this tells me is that this affair did not have longevity, he knew it and he was trying to have a backup plan: me. He had gone crazy with a midlife or something but I could not handle the ride of pain.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

It's not an illusion, the WS nearly always puts on a good performance, but like HIP said it also trains the BS in what to look for. I do believe that it works so effectively because the BS really wants to minimise the pain and contain the situation as best as possible, so feels some small comfort in the performance.
But would that same performance convince a fly on the wall on the WS' remorse?
Probably not.


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## HusbandInPain (Nov 8, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> It's not an illusion, the WS nearly always puts on a good performance, but like HIP said it also trains the BS in what to look for. I do believe that it works so effectively because the BS really wants to minimise the pain and contain the situation as best as possible, so feels some small comfort in the performance.
> But would that same performance convince a fly on the wall on the WS' remorse?
> Probably not.


lol been there. I've told my mates what my wife has said with hope and joy, and they've just turned round and said "you know she's still f*cking with your head, right???"


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

HusbandInPain said:


> lol been there. I've told my mates what my wife has said with hope and joy, and they've just turned round and said "you know she's still f*cking with your head, right???"


Lol, but ain't it the truth :smthumbup:


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

Mine actually swore on the health of my son. Not to mention God. She's an observant Christian, I am atheist, couldn't care less about that. But the son's one hurts.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Scene one (from last night Nov. 29th 2011): Wife in car with boyfriend sitting in a parking lot at an Amish Church in the country. Beautiful scenery. Sun starting to set. Wife's cell phone rings. Wife- "Hey". Me-"Hey" I tell her about my day. Wife says, hey I am out. Oh, says me, you are out shopping? Wife - yea-here at Walmart on such and such a street, (Me thinking-you know the one on the other side of town that you never go to). Me-have fun, love you. Wife-love you.

Scene two: I call son and tell him that his mother just told me she is at Walmart, 30 miles away from where her GPS has her located. My son and I are both tracking her on our computers. My son says-"Dad, we got her". I tell my son I am going to call her and confront her.

Scene three: ring ring - Wife-"hey" Me-"I know where you are at and who you are with." Wife-"what are you saying?" "How can you be so mean to me?" me-"you are cheating on me with so and so". Wife-"I can't believe what you are saying" "Do you have someone following me?" "I can't believe you are saying these things to me." "I am leaving Walmart now and going home". Wife hangs up phone. I call back - ring ring, phone somehow goes into answer mode and I hear wife and boyfriend. Wife-"I don't know how he knows where we are, how does he know I am at your place?" Boyfriend-"Honey are you going to be OK?" More said but that should be enough.


Oscar material


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Mine did not act at all. She knew she was caught and rode the onslaught the fell from my mouth. She did try to lie about some things but quickly learned that I knew almost everything. (I'm sure there is some I don't know about, and I really don't want to)


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

My H was able to carry on 2 EA's ( one for at least a year) they overlapped for 5 months, and gave no red flags or clues... so I found out he is a very good actor. 

I told him today that I am willing to move forward and get through this ( even though it's only been 11 weeks since Dday).. I figure this will let him think things have calmed down if he wants to continue either of them.

I am doing the "trust but verify" theory right now. I am looking into other ways to track him now that I know he's capable of this. I figure 2 can play this game and we'll see who gets the Academy award at the end.


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## OOE (Mar 17, 2011)

It depends.

Some WS's hide it very, very well. Once they take it underground, they work even harder at hiding it.

Then there are others who only hide it somewhat. I think that some part of them wants to be caught so that they'll have change (any change). The same thing is probably true of those who don't hide at all - although some of the latter are simply narcissistic controllers.

My X didn't have a script. She had a screenplay.

Act I - Denial - "It's not what you think"
Act II - Outrage - "How dare you spy on me"
Act III - Deflection - "If you'd ________ I wouldn't have cheated."
Act IV - Tears - (Little did I know they were crocodile tears. I nominated her for an Oscar for this performance.)
Act V - Smugness - (After I uncovered the continuing affairs, she had a "what are you going to do about it" attitude.)
Act VI - High and mighty - "You'll be sorry you did that." (after I smashed my wedding ring with a hammer)

On that day I tore up the script _I'd_ been following. It had a working title of "_The World's Nicest Nice Guy_."

From that point until the day I moved out, the nice guy was dead. In his place was Mr. Tiger. 

To this day (4.5 years later) she acts extremely meek around me. She still tries to play some of her controlling games via email (relating to our kids), but I'll have none of it. She has no clue how to interact with a strong man. Can't say that's a surprise. It took the worst year and a half of my life for me to figure out how to be one.


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## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

H introduced me to OW supposedly so that I could be more at peace since physically I was the "better looking" one of the two. He even said "See? Nothing to worry about" this was after their first "date" and still he went out with her again after that. Then when he was hiding his smoking he got a $500 + ticket for littering and told me that he was smoking because he was stressed. What an a$$.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ren (Aug 1, 2011)

She is the best liar I have ever met. I never knew someone could lie so convincingly.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

mine was a lousy liar and lousy actor, and I was a gullible audience... I inevitably figured it out, wasn't difficult, didn't stop her from continuing her horrible performance though even though I was telling her to stop, I could see right through it... she just kept going and going.

It is almost unfathomable, reminds me of the really untalented dancers on "So You Think You Can Dance?" when even after the judges yell "STOP!" and the music has shut off they just keep going, still determined to convince the judges they are amazing (when everyone else can see perfectly clearly that they really suck rotten eggs and are starting to get annoyed they are wasting everyone's time).


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