# realisations and anger



## overitnolove (Dec 5, 2008)

I need to purge.

I was trying so hard to work it all out. He was trying too. Then it dawned on me.

I put all of my energy into his progress for SIX years, to the point that I fell over.

Now, I seperate from him, and he tries to fix things???? **** that. How dare him.

When I met him, I was in full time uni, working part time and trying to create a life for myself. He was living at home, out of work, no assetts at all and no prospects. WHAT W3AS I THINKING????

I decided to help him. He not once thought. Hang on, its not her responsibility, but I'm sure he thought, how good is this?

OH MY GOD! I am finally angry. Wwhen I fell over mid last week, and he looked aftyer me, I thought, maybe I cant live without him, this is too hard. I was anxiety ridden and in a complete body sweat... totally messed up. Now I realise I became so good at denying how I actually felt about my completely ****ed up relationship, I was blamming myself, thinking that I was losing it, when I was ANGRY AT HIMN for being SUCH A ****ING FLAKE for all of those years.

He finally, once seperatied, gets his life together and starts saving and thinks he is a ****ing genius. BIT LATE!

I gave him all of my energy and traditionally ';best years' but noqw, rather than being a mess. I need to get a laywer, a financial planner, a seperate bank acount. A PLAN! 

I will NEVER let this happen to me again. I will never get together with a guy unless HE ACTUALLY HAS SOMETHING TO OFFER!!!!!!

I realise too, that I thought so little of myself that that I thought that is all I could get, that as well as the fact that I wanted to be with the absolute opposite of my father.

BUT, despite past bull****, it is time for me to be happy, and he spunged opff me. Emotionally, financially, energy-wise. He sucked me dry and now he cant live without me and wants to make it work????

Sorry buddy. Too little too late. Im getting my **** together and getting a life that I deserve. ****ing arsehole.

Thankyou. Thats my vent.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

I think I will be at the same point very soon!

You go girl! Really, who needs who!?!


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## overitnolove (Dec 5, 2008)

Raising5boyz, it takes a while. I felt it coming to the surface and I actually thought I was coming doen with something. Every time I was in his company, I would get all hot and finally, I had a chat with my sister and finally admitted, he never did anything FOR ME, it was all the other way round.... then I burst into tears... finally (about that specifically).

Then... I got angry. It feel empowering. You know how you read about women getting that feeling and you cant understand it. Now I do. I hope you do too.


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## overitnolove (Dec 5, 2008)

Ok I feel like an idiot.

After getting this all off my chest and having the big realisation, I chatted to H and we had a big talk about all of the anger.

I have decided that he can move in but sleep in the spare room.

Is this a good idea? Its just that I spoke to a good friend aabout my plans and she simply asked me: 
'are you sure you want to do this?'

It floored me. I was sure I had made my mind up and with that question, after three months of seperation the second time round, I said 'no. But I was un happy for so long I thought it was the only other option'.

Advice?


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## ls878 (Jul 2, 2009)

ok, so i'm in a bit of the same situation. should i stay and try and fix this or move on, b/c screw him. because i'm so angry right now, i think making a decision and throwing out the divorce card would be premature. i really need to sit and think about this. 

but, sometimes it takes a leap of faith. ask yourself if you are dependent on him. what i would do to protect yourself, is get your plan together (without telling him). see how feel once that is together. maybe by then, you can make your decision.


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## overitnolove (Dec 5, 2008)

I am depending on him a bit.:scratchhead:

I have a day off on Friday and my sister is coming with me to the bank and I'm changing all of my bank accounts around any way.:smthumbup:

That, at least, is a point in the right direction.

I took on your advice and I think it was right on point. I'll still go through with what I was going to do anyway. 

I'm going to get a financial planner and organise how to pay for everything and still save on my salary which isn't bad, isn't great.

He knows where he stands and knows that he is living here to help me out just to see.

I told him that only days ago I had finally made a decision to divorce him and he said he was well aware and is just glad he has this chance to help me get back on my feet by helping around the house and stuff.

Thanks Is878.:toast:

Keep you posted,

OINL X


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

:smthumbup: Sounds sound!


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

Hi S.

Good to see you are taking steps toward your future. Even if its only a little bit a time, you will gather momentum.

Im sorry he got it too late. I suppose that was kinda the same way I was, but with many more complicated issues.

Dont write him off time you and you alone are sure. Playing it like you are moving on though sounds right to me.

When you are ready, you will make a final decision and stick to it.

Keep building yourself up, you deserve it.

Take care wingman!

M.


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## overitnolove (Dec 5, 2008)

Thanks. That's right. You're my wingman and don't you forget it!

S


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