# Men: do you find your W as attractive after having children?



## tobio

I was having a chat with some friends yesterday. One of them is married, with no children but they are planning to get pregnant.

Now, this lady is in her late twenties and very attractive. She puts a lot of work into looking good, and naturally has a fantastic figure, petite but hourglass, very flat stomach and great boobs. Her husband is extremely proud and loves showing her off.

She was telling me that although they want to have children, the one thing that is putting him off is that her body is going to change. We were talking about it, she seems quite accepting of what _might_ happen, for example stretch marks and putting on weight. She is worried that he might not find her as attractive because of it though.

Now, what I was wondering is how do men out there view the changes that happen to a woman when she has a baby- that is, the physical changes? Do men still view their wife as attractive even if, say, she gets stretch marks? Puts on a little weight? Has a baby belly? Does it affect desire at all? Do you still find her attractive, but being honest not quite as much? Have you or would you request that she maybe went on a diet, checked out her eating habits, or started going to the gym to either get rid of excess weight or tone up that belly? Or would you be accepting of small changes and take it as part and parcel of becoming a mother?

Now, for me it has been slightly different as I had two children when I met OH so he's seen my body post-children, just now it is more children! I have been lucky in not getting any stretch marks but I always put on some weight when baby is small and I am breastfeeding- not an excessive amount by any stretch but I can point it out and it gradually goes once baby is established on solids and not having as much milk. OH has never expressed much opinion when asked except he's glad I don't have massive purple stretch marks! 

I wasn't sure what to say to my friend except she can always work on her body after if she's worried and see any more permanent changes as a "badge of honour".

So what DO men think?


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## SimplyAmorous

No stretch marks -how do you rate! 

My husband has never had any issues with my body being pregnant or after, he loved getting me pregnant cause I was MORE horny during my pregnancies, so he got more action. I always gained 40 -45 and lost it all within about 3 months time -for each of my 6 children. 

Although it doesn't bother him (we have had a # of conversations-because it bothers ME), I feel my stomach likes like an over inflated Rail road track, many stretch marks. I am a small woman so even these babies , all below 9 lbs, still reaked havoc on my body. My stomach is the only thing that bothers me, he does not care, I would pay for a tummy tuck in a heart beat -trying to push him to let me, he wont let me. 

It truly IS a badge of honor. I used the coco butter lotions to help avoid the stretch marks but can't say it did much of anything.


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## greenpearl

Some women don't have stretch marks after they have babies. 

I am one of the lucky ones. 

I didn't have stretch marks, I didn't do anything. 

I lost all the weight in a month. 

Now I do my best to make sure I keep in shape. I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, I excise my belly so my waist is curvy. I have beauty treatment regularly. My husband reminds me to wear facial masks, he also makes sure that I don't let go of myself and lose my shape. 

He is visual; I am visual, too. I like to enjoy myself in front of the mirror!


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## DanF

My wife never quite returned to her pre-baby size, burt she still looks damn good. In fact, I am usually trying to get her to gain a couple of pounds so she doesn't look so skinny. She has a few stretch marks, but they mean nothing to me. I love her, I think she's hot, she's sexy and she's MINE.


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## 827Aug

Not everyone gets stretch marks and loses their figure after having a baby. I had no stretch marks after my son. In addition, I left the hospital a thin woman. Now the twins ordeal was another matter. I did get stretch marks with them.

However, if a relationship is based solely on physical appearance, it must not be that great of a relationship. I would think twice about even having a child if the relationship is that weak.


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## Runs like Dog

My wife gained 67lbs with the birth of our first son.


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## frustr8dhubby

Wow, what a loaded question. I might be a weird one but I actually found my wife more attractive during and after children. I loved her pregnant, she had such a glow about her that I found so sexy. And after the kids were here, I find her sexy just for being a mom, and the fact that we have the children to share together.

Now, she got quite large during pregnancy and has kept a little bit of the weight on but nothing I care about. She didn't really get any noticeable stretch marks but does have a c-section scar. I still think she is hot. Now, had she put on 50 LBS and kept it on, I don't know. Since I am not in that position it is hard for me to honestly answer that.

To someone elses point, it may not even be an issue. We had a neighbor in California that looked like Charlize Theron after two kids... Wooo.

Either way, if she is just a "trophy" wife she ought to think about really wanting kids with that guy..


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## MsLonely

A younger/immature man would care about those stretch marks while a mature man who is happy being a dad, would think the natural process changing a woman's body shape during pregnancy is a beautiful process.
A immature man is an immature husband who won't think be a great dad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog

I guess it depends on scale. If you're using childbearing as the reason your 5'3" frame tops 275lbs then you are clearly off the rails.


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## Conrad

The psychological changes are much more dangerous than the physical ones.


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## tobio

Conrad said:


> The psychological changes are much more dangerous than the physical ones.


Interesting you should say that; one of the other things she said was that because they had spent years together just them, and they are so wrapped up in each other, she wasn't sure how they would feel about "sharing" each other. Again, I've always had to "share" OH so I've not known what it's like to have that dedicated couple time. A whole new discussion methinks...

Anyhow... The responses seem generally positive so far, although I think Runs like Dog may have other thoughts!


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## Conrad

Tobio,

I think you would agree with this.

Many a happy man gets sidetracked when the kids are born - and begins his fateful journey down "Nice Guy" avenue.

If one keeps in mind that she is "wired" to think kids first - but still has plenty for him, it will all be well.

If he sees himself in competition with the attention given to the children, he will also be seen as a child.

And, he may as well get his user account here.


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## Kobo

Conrad said:


> Tobio,
> 
> I think you would agree with this.
> 
> Many a happy man gets sidetracked when the kids are born - and begins his fateful journey down "Nice Guy" avenue.
> 
> If one keeps in mind that she is "wired" to think kids first - but still has plenty for him, it will all be well.
> 
> If he sees himself in competition with the attention given to the children, he will also be seen as a child.
> 
> And, he may as well get his user account here.



I would add that the woman needs to make an effort to be a "wife" also and not just a mother.

As far as attractive after babies. My wife "snapped back" after the first child. The second one she kept some weight on. I like my women between size 10-12 and tall (at least 5'9) so I'm probably not the best one to listen too.


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## Vacadeluz

I found my mife to be extremely atttactive during all 4 pregnancies, and even though her body is not in the shape it was 14 years ago watching her with our children make me want her more than I ever did before we had kids.

Attraction is a funny thing. I love her body but she is not happy with it and doesn't feel attractive. We are both working together to lose the weight we have gained during our marriage. Currently I am down 12 lbs in 3 weeks.


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## NewZealand

Vacadeluz, well done on the weight loss - consistency is your key

As for me, my honey is still beautiful. She gave me 5 children, but still she is lovely. Her *ss is as HOT as it was the day we met, I just LOVE it and holding it is always a pleasure.

Of course we all change but as time goes along, the physical becomes less important and it is about focusing more in the spiritual connection.


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## OhGeesh

conrad said:


> the psychological changes are much more dangerous than the physical ones.


yep!! ^^^^^^^^^


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## Robrobb

Ouch. This one hit home.




Conrad said:


> Tobio,
> 
> I think you would agree with this.
> 
> Many a happy man gets sidetracked when the kids are born - and begins his fateful journey down "Nice Guy" avenue.
> 
> If one keeps in mind that she is "wired" to think kids first - but still has plenty for him, it will all be well.
> 
> If he sees himself in competition with the attention given to the children, he will also be seen as a child.
> 
> And, he may as well get his user account here.


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## Anooniemouse

During pregnancy? Yes, pregnant women have a wonderful glow, and there is always that expanding breast line thing (even if they are too sore to play with some of the time). Physically after? No, but emotionally, spiritually, and just in the changes in her personality that come from having to deal with the concerns of others from motherhood -- yes.


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## jerwings

All I can say is BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER !......After 30 years of marrigae ( got married at 19),..my wife after 4 looks just as fantastic as she ever has,......even more. you say shes sexy, you see her body........you say she is pretty, you see her face..........you say shes beautiful, you see her heart


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## ozymandias

Conrad nailed this one.

I find my wife much less attractive since she had a child and it has nothing to do with her body. She doesn't smile at me as often as she used to. Her time and energy are consumed with child care and there is usually nothing left at the end of the day for us. It's like she's aged 15 years mentally. She's slower to laugh and easier to anger.


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## Erin143

My wife when I first met her was beautiful, both of us in our late teens and her always strutting her stuff I mean hour glass figure and big curves where they counted and thin where it needed, all with a pretty face and a great personality. Knockout. Two kids later I mean yeah stretch marks and she has filled those curves much nicer and put some weight in on that skinny but god how gorgeous she is. I guess maybe since you mature after kids and you look at them as a parent and not I don't know JUST a trophy on your arm. She's more than that now. I love her for not only her beauty but for always being there, for giving birth to my two children and as for being attracted?? I'm more attracted to her than ever, I mean I CANNOT keep my hands off her and all those play a role.


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## hawx20

No problems here. Her body may not be perfect, but its still damn good for me. Everytime I walk in on her changing clothes I still cant keep my hands off her.


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## anotherguy

When we had kids, my wife went from being a girl to being a woman.

Seriously. She got sexier, and I don't think it just rosy colored glasses.

I see it in some other women too, so I don't think it terribly uncommon.

Stretch marks? A few. Shrug. I also am sprouting more hair in new places... It's part of growing up / getting older. It's all good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wiltshireman

After 18+ years of marriage to me and 5 kids my wife does not have the figure she had when we meet (see was petite now just more mummsy) but then agian I am no longer have the athletic muscular frame I left the military with.

I do still "fancy" my wife and I do not think that will ever change.


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## 41362

I am another one who finds his wife even more sexy after blessing me with two wonderful kids...

She's 5'9, 140 lbs, and works out for an hour every weekday morning. Yeah, there's a few wrinkles here and there... and she's begun using a bit of dye in her hair, but she's the sexiest woman I know. 

I'm a very lucky guy


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## SugarMonstaa

827Aug said:


> Not everyone gets stretch marks and loses their figure after having a baby. I had no stretch marks after my son. In addition, I left the hospital a thin woman. Now the twins ordeal was another matter. I did get stretch marks with them.
> 
> However, if a relationship is based solely on physical appearance, it must not be that great of a relationship. I would think twice about even having a child if the relationship is that weak.


sadly in this marriage it seemed like they had a very physical relationship lol...


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## tracyishere

Wahoo! Thanks for this thread. Definitely makes me feel less insecure about being a mommy.


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## MEM2020

QFT

The small changes caused by 3 pregnancies had no impact on my desire. None. 




Conrad said:


> The psychological changes are much more dangerous than the physical ones.


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## soulseer

Depends on whether you love your wifes body or soul. 

We are all going to age and change anyway nothing lasts forever.

I still find my wife attractive and we generally have great sex
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SaltInWound

tobio said:


> She was telling me that although they want to have children, the one thing that is putting him off is that her body is going to change.


I wonder if his view would change if he suddenly found himself disfigured from a car accident, or perhaps cancer took both his testicles and was told prosthetic replacement wasn't an option.


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## hambone

I LOVE my wife. I love that she gave me two precious children. 

She did not get any stretch marks.

What ever it did to her body... she made a tremendous sacrifice... she put her life on the line to give me children.

I love HER... My love for her runs way deeper than physical appearance!

And, to add, I have NERVER, not once looked at a woman who was pregnant and said, "Oh, is she fat". I know the difference between being fat and being pregnant.


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## theroad

My wife only put on the weight her Dr allowed her.

After she gave birth she had a flat stomach.

The problem is many woman put on way too much weight. That after they deliver they still look that they are still carrying.

My wife looked great before and great after.


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## Conrad

Kobo said:


> I would add that the woman needs to make an effort to be a "wife" also and not just a mother.


Good luck with that.


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## richie33

Yes, she is still very attractive and has a great body.


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## frusdil

ozymandias said:


> Conrad nailed this one.
> 
> I find my wife much less attractive since she had a child and it has nothing to do with her body. She doesn't smile at me as often as she used to. Her time and energy are consumed with child care and there is usually nothing left at the end of the day for us. It's like she's aged 15 years mentally. She's slower to laugh and easier to anger.


How old is your child? Do you help your wife? Does she have to work outside the home as well as raise the baby? 

She's probably exhausted! Try helping her around the house. Send her to bed for a nap when you get home and you look after the baby. You might be pleasantly surprised at the change in her once she has some energy.

She didn't get pregnant by herself after all.


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## John Lee

I find the very fact that my wife and I made a child together sexy.


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## Kaci

jerwings said:


> All I can say is BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER !......After 30 years of marrigae ( got married at 19),..my wife after 4 looks just as fantastic as she ever has,......even more. you say shes sexy, you see her body........you say she is pretty, you see her face..........you say shes beautiful, you see her heart


Awwww......


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## anotherguy

John Lee said:


> I find the very fact that my wife and I made a child together sexy.


'making a baby' sex was very groovy. I cant quite put my finger on it - but when, after 15 years, we started to go for it and try and get pregnant... it felt very 'right-on'. 

good times.


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## arbitrator

*Let's just say that I had always idealized being married to both of the women that I did, and greatly "until death do us part." They were both extremely attractive when I married them and they were both still very attractive when they left me, all while self-servingly, embracing divorce. 

Beauty is a visual thing and is the primary characteristic that greatly attracts us as men. But in living with them day in and day out, there's an aura of maturity in their physical and their psychological stature that I adore, making them so very much more valued and desirable ~ and I would pray that the same would be true about me. This greatly speaks to the adage of being able to gracefully and lovingly grow old together.

I guess that I would agree with the mantra of "Honey, you're not growing older, you're growing better!" In my heart of hearts, I truly still believe that!

For obvious as well as diverse reasons, I would venture to guess that both of my wives, who so chose to cheat and to lie about it for their own selfish purposes, do not.

And therein is what tarnishes and lays waste to that deep mature beauty that a lot of us guys look forward to sharing and being an integral part of up until the end of time! It's greatly like that their revered beauty has instantly faded and what beauty they now have is simply serving as a facade to hide the "ogre within" that they have truly become!*


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## MEM2020

These include excessive:
- Stress associated with the kids
- Conversation about the kids 
- Complaining about kid related stuff 




Conrad said:


> The psychological changes are much more dangerous than the physical ones.


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