# Looking One's Age



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I've been thinking about this idea that a lot of people imagine they don't look their age. We see this a lot....people imagine they look all kinds on younger if they're in any kind of decent shape.

But I've observed that this isn't true. You can take a 50 year old that's in fantastic shape and put them next to a 40 year old and it's obvious one is older.

I think people tell themselves this because they have a skewed perception of what it means to look one's age. They associate fitness and taking care of themselves with looking younger and imagine that their age means busted up. But really they look like a well preserved version of their age, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

People who beat themselves up can certainly look older. But younger? Not usually.

I was talking about this today with a friend. Her early 50's sister is constantly complaining that she can’t find a good guy and she ends up getting friend zoned and maybe a booty call. We tried to set her up with a coworker of mine in his late 50's....great guy/good job/loyal/decent physical shape. Her sister looks pretty good, not physically active but naturally thin.

She blew him off because she thought he looked old. I'm 48 and I don't see it....sure he's mostly bald and the bit he has is graying, but I've seen pics of him from 15 years ago and it was happening then. Nothing he can do about the hair besides a ****ty toupee like my ex.

And he was genuinely interested....they have a ton in common and he thought she'd be interesting to talk to.

I think she has a skewed opinion of how old she looks. Sure she looks good but it's clear she's in her 50's, and even if she finds a younger guy she's going to continue to age herself.

We see this mentality with both genders. Guy imagines because he's a gym rat he looks all kinds of younger but really he looks like a great version of his age. Woman imagines that since she's in good shape, has fake breasts, and maybe some facial surgery she looks all kinds of younger.

Nothing against fake breasts if that's your thing...do you....just don't tell yourself you look years younger because you likely don't. You look fantastic right at your age.

I think this skewed perception cam cause people to have skewed expectations in their personal life. Personally my fitness level is high bit I'm under no illusion that I look 38 because I'm sure if I was next to one it would be obvious. I look younger then my bf, but I AM younger. He looks his age to me (56) but that doesn't mean he's not hot.....which he is. We buy into this idea that we must pass for younger to be attractive.

Thoughts? Criticisms? Stories? All are welcome!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

This topic has been on your mind a lot lately, it seems.

When you start going bald in your 20's, "looking your age" becomes something you stop caring about right quick. And what a relief that is. Saves all of the headache later on down the road.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Cletus said:


> This topic has been on your mind a lot lately, it seems.
> 
> When you start going bald in your 20's, "looking your age" becomes something you stop caring about right quick. And what a relief that is. Saves all of the headache later on down the road.


Its something I've thought about from time to time because I've seen many posts from people claiming they look all kinds of younger, and I hear it from people IRL. The talk with my friend this morning where it came up got me thinking again.

I find the psychology interesting....that people have skewed perceptions. If you ask older people if they feel their age they'll often say no, but that has a lot to do with their perception of what their age should feel like. They imagine if they're not in a recliner full time they don't feel "their age", but the norm is probably that most people their age aren't in a recliner. So normal isn't what they thought.

I have zero issues with how old I look, which is why I'm free to consider the psychology. I do what I can but time comes for us all. Better to face it with a bit of dignity.

IMHO


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

And where a guy's hairline is rates at about -10 on the what matters scale.

Just no stupid hair.....no combovers/toupees/ponytails with the little you have.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

D


lifeistooshort said:


> And where a guy's hairline is rates at about -10 on the what matters scale.
> 
> Just no stupid hair.....no combovers/toupees/ponytails with the little you have.


Does







this guy not get your pulse racing?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> D
> 
> Does
> View attachment 87716
> this guy not get your pulse racing?


I'll try to control myself 😅


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> I've been thinking about this idea that a lot of people imagine they don't look their age. We see this a lot....people imagine they look all kinds on younger if they're in any kind of decent shape.
> 
> But I've observed that this isn't true. You can take a 50 year old that's in fantastic shape and put them next to a 40 year old and it's obvious one is older.
> 
> ...


Yea, IMO it is mostly wishful thinking. Most look AT LEAST their physical age. If they lived a hard life they look way older. With few exceptions. 

My wife being one of the exceptions, looks 2 decades younger than her physical age. Lest you think it is just in the eye of this beholder, I have asked numerous people in all sorts of situations out of her earshot to guess her age and they always guess mid-50s. She never had any bad habits, always maintained her weight the same as when we started dating, always exercised, cared for her teeth, moisturized her skin. And it shows.

I sometimes tease her when we are out together that the others in the restaurant are wondering what that young woman is doing with that old goat ( me )., or that I must be her sugar daddy lol.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

I told my wife when I get thin enough the Julius Caesar hair is apparent, I am going to put a razor to scalp. I will not look like my Uncle's or Grandfather before me.

When age is difficult is judging ages of youngsters. With the hormones and sex causing girls to develope MUCH younger now a days. Man o man.

When I was in college, there was this fine thing that used to go to the night club. I was 22ish and would guess her to be 26-27. I mean fine and well above my pay grade. Think Wayne and Garth...Were not worthy!

One night I asked if she was going to the afterhours club, she said she couldn't, offered her a ride, not it...they will not let her in....14 YRS OLD!!!!

This girl looked every bit of 26-27. Hell I could have gone to prison...after that I chased the ones 10 + yrs older than me. Wife is 4 yrs my senior.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think I look older than my age (61), and in photos I look even older. Though I am physically in very good shape and routinely have people tell me I don't look my age. So confusing! 

But I get what your saying about people not realizing their age. I think I sometimes lose perspective, it's not that I think I'm younger than I am, it's more of looking at others as being on the same plain as me. Example would be someone at the gym wants to work in with me, we do the same weight. I don't see a thirty year old, I just see another lifter, so I feel we are the same.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> I've been thinking about this idea that a lot of people imagine they don't look their age. We see this a lot....people imagine they look all kinds on younger if they're in any kind of decent shape.
> 
> But I've observed that this isn't true. You can take a 50 year old that's in fantastic shape and put them next to a 40 year old and it's obvious one is older.
> 
> ...


Agreed.

Your friend's sister is trying to compete with younger women for attention of young men. She will not be able to. By the time this sinks in, it might be too late for her.

Some of the well-settled guys are able to date much younger women in fact. Reason is that women can settle for security and maturity.

Perhaps you can reason with her, for her benefit.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

You don't understand. All of the people on TAM are WAY above average. All of the men have longer than average ****s, the women have larger than average breasts, their kids are way above average in school, and we all look younger than our actual ages. It's just a blessed group.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I def look older than I am -- I always have. My Dad said it was the way I presented myself also. I used to get into bars at 15 when the drinking age was 18, so... GREAT when you are young, not so great when you are 60!!! Most people do think my wife is younger than her age (not by decades, but ...) -- she has always taken great care of her skin, plus her genetics help out also.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

I have looked older than my age since 15 when my receding hairline started. Nearly everyone in my life, at all stages of life, agreed that I look quite a bit older than my biological age.

A by-product of that is problems engaging with women near my age. Most throughout life have seen me as quite older and (much like @lifeistooshort 's friend) they don't return any interest.

There's also the chance that I'm an ugly jerk with no job and no sense of humor but I discard that possibility entirely. 🤣


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I used to think I looked younger than I do (36), not sure why though because I haven't been carded since I was 18 or so. My wife quickly corrected that thought and told me I look "at least" my age... 😐 She loves pointing out the fine lines near my eyes and when I smile. And it's BS because we're the same age but she definitely looks younger than she is! If you want to piss her off just ask if she's the homeowner or if she's the nanny  Gets it all the time (and still gets carded every time).

Her mother looks far younger than she is as well though. I believe she's 54-55 but no one would guess that. Maybe early 40's.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I have been told many times over the years by all sorts of people that I look younger than I am, that they can't believe I have children as old as I have yada yada. This includes medical professionals. I am not a person that strives to look young, I don't believe in having cosmetic surgery, would never have botox, I am not a gym bunny, I am not obsessed with looks or eternal youth, I don't even wear make up or dye my hair. However I am blessed to have the very good skin from mums side of the family and at 66 have barely a wrinkle. Whether that is what makes me look younger in more recent years I don't know, but it has been a consistent theme for a long time that people say these things completely unsolicited.
There are those who do indeed do look younger than they are, but maybe not as many as would like to think so.

As for the woman you mention, she is allowed to say no to a man if she chooses. It may not be that she thinks she looks younger than she is, but that she doesn't find the guy attractive or appealing.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

..


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> As for the woman you mention, she is allowed to say no to a man if she chooses. It may not be that she thinks she looks younger than she is, but that she doesn't find the guy attractive or appealing.


What is hilarious about this is that if roles were reversed you would be screaming for the guys head because he "only wants to date younger women" and that "women his own age are beautiful". Ah, the double standards. 🤔


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

karole said:


> How old do you think my friend is?
> View attachment 87724


52.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

karole said:


> I think people can look much younger than their age. How old do you think this lady is?
> View attachment 87724


40++

My sister have similar looks. Holy...


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

karole said:


> How old do you think my friend is?
> View attachment 87724


14


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

karole said:


> How old do you think my friend is?


Pushing 55-60. Keeping that chin down for a reason.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

karole said:


> How old do you think my friend is?
> View attachment 87724


The overdone makeup and nails, her hands definitely show their age, the choice of jewelry, the grey roots showing... I would say _at least_ mid-50's, and I feel like that's being generous. Near 60 is probably more likely.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> I'll try to control myself 😅


You should be all over that! Just stay away from convertibles and motorcycles.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Unless they've had plastic surgery or goofy fish face botox injections. I dont know why women do that, it's always easily noticeable and they end up looking older anyways. That is the ones that don't look like Bozo the Clown.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

😳


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Sfort said:


> You don't understand. All of the people on TAM are WAY above average. All of the men have longer than average ****s, the women have larger than average breasts, their kids are way above average in school, and we all look younger than our actual ages. It's just a blessed group.


My breasts are pretty average in size 😁😊

34C


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Sfort said:


> their kids are way above average in school


Meanwhile, I'm over here with a kid failing gym...


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> My breasts are pretty average in size 😁😊
> 
> 34C


“ Statistics have shown that the most common cup size for American women is a B cup, with 44% of women wearing this bra size. “


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> I have been told many times over the years by all sorts of people that I look younger than I am, that they can't believe I have children as old as I have yada yada. This includes medical professionals. I am not a person that strives to look young, I don't believe in having cosmetic surgery, I am not a gym bunny, I am not obsessed with looks or eternal youth, I don't even wear make up or dye my hair. However I am blessed to have the very good skin from mums side of the family and at 66 have barely a wrinkle. Whether that is what makes me look younger in more recent years I don't know, but it has been a consistent theme for a long time that people say these things completely unsolicited.
> There are those who do indeed do look younger than they are, but maybe not as many as would like to think so.
> 
> As for the woman you mention, she is allowed to say no to a man if she chooses. It may not be that she thinks she looks younger than she is, but that she doesn't find the guy attractive or appealing.


Perhaps, but given her track record I think her perception of herself is skewed.

I've found that people often think I'm younger from a distance because I'm small and fit. When they get closer they can tell I'm not.

I was running with my gf(49) and we ran by a woman who commented that she thought we were high school runners 😅😅😅. But once again it's the size thing, and we are still pretty bad ass runners 😀


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

karole said:


> How old do you think my friend is?
> View attachment 87724


65-70?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> 65?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


 The hand and neck always gives it away.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Cletus said:


> Pushing 55-60. Keeping that chin down for a reason.


Agreed. My first thought was mid 50's with work done.

That should not be taken as a negative....she looks good.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> The hand and neck always gives it away.


For me, it’s just her face. She has a lot of wrinkles on her forehead. Her hands make her look 70 to me 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

lifeistooshort said:


> Agreed. My first thought was mid 50's with work done.
> 
> That should not be taken as a negative....she looks good.


She didn't go too far and get goofy fish face.


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

bobert said:


> The overdone makeup and nails, her hands definitely show their age, the choice of jewelry, the grey roots showing... I would say _at least_ mid-50's, and I feel like that's being generous. Near 60 is probably more likely.


I agree with you. I once came home from a manicure, showed my hands to my son and said “what do you think?” He said “am I looking at your nails or the spots on your hands?” Damn kids!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Bluesclues said:


> I agree with you. I once came home from a manicure, showed my hands to my son and said “what do you think?” He said “am I looking at your nails or the spots on your hands?” Damn kids!


Blasphemy!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Rus47 said:


> “ Statistics have shown that the most common cup size for American women is a B cup, with 44% of women wearing this bra size. “


My bf and I were taking a walk and it was getting dark out so I didn't have a bra under my shirt. He suggested we duck into a small store and i said I couldn't because of said situation.

His clumsy response: "it's ok, you're not a sex pot. Oh wait....that came out wrong".

We both laughed...I told him I knew I wasn't huge and had zero issue with it. I'd look ridiculous.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. At times I feel a bit down about it because when I look in the mirror, I see wrinkles beginning to appear. It does seem like the idea of aging gracefully is the mindset of the very young 

I color my hair but have done that since puberty. I suppose I could do botox but I don't like the way it looks on others. It looks like a person is made of wax. No expression. 

Do you notice also how a lot of men date younger women because they say women their own age look unattractive for whatever reason? I feel like I don't have anything to offer to or gain from dating anymore. Men my age are looking for much younger women for the most part, and I am not really interested in dating someone a lot older than me. I married and dated older and it was tricky because they generally had a lower libido and were not as active as me. The intelligent men I have met close to my age who are attractive wouldn't want someone as old as me, and the men who are interested are interested (as your friend) in a booty call not a partner. I think that might just be what the majority of demographics look like for 40-year-old women. Or perhaps that has just been my experience. But it does put me quite irrevocably on the shelf, at least for now.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

joannacroc said:


> Do you notice also how a lot of men date younger women because they say women their own age look unattractive for whatever reason?


I have a few friends who are single and in their late-30's and they won't date women their age, unless they don't look their age at all. They all want women in their early to mid 20's because women in their 30's are apparently unattractive. Insane.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

joannacroc said:


> I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. At times I feel a bit down about it because when I look in the mirror, I see wrinkles beginning to appear. It does seem like the idea of aging gracefully is the mindset of the very young
> 
> I color my hair but have done that since puberty. I suppose I could do botox but I don't like the way it looks on others. It looks like a person is made of wax. No expression.
> 
> Do you notice also how a lot of men date younger women because they say women their own age look unattractive for whatever reason? I feel like I don't have anything to offer to or gain from dating anymore. Men my age are looking for much younger women for the most part, and I am not really interested in dating someone a lot older than me. I married and dated older and it was tricky because they generally had a lower libido and were not as active as me. The intelligent men I have met close to my age who are attractive wouldn't want someone as old as me, and the men who are interested are interested (as your friend) in a booty call not a partner. I think that might just be what the majority of demographics look like for 40-year-old women. Or perhaps that has just been my experience. But it does put me quite irrevocably on the shelf, at least for now.


Hang on...how old are you?


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

People can look good in any age bracket up to 60 years in age subject to good genes, consumption habits and level of care.

*But* _Looking Good_ is different from _Looking Young_ in my view. People in their 20s are very likely to have good facial symmetry and excellent skin texture; this is the age bracket of peak natural beauty and it does not have cosmetic substitutes. People certainly _Look Young_ in their 20s. I have noticed as much.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

All the botox and fillers and plastic surgery in the world won’t make you look really, really young again. They can make you look good — or even great — and definitely younger than you are but the look of youth — if that’s what people are after — obviously only belongs to the very young. When it’s gone, it’s gone. Most don’t appreciate that short-lived look until it’s too late. My attitude is look the best you can and don’t worry about the rest.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

joannacroc said:


> I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. At times I feel a bit down about it because when I look in the mirror, I see wrinkles beginning to appear. It does seem like the idea of aging gracefully is the mindset of the very young
> 
> I color my hair but have done that since puberty. I suppose I could do botox but I don't like the way it looks on others. It looks like a person is made of wax. No expression.
> 
> Do you notice also how a lot of men date younger women because they say women their own age look unattractive for whatever reason? I feel like I don't have anything to offer to or gain from dating anymore. Men my age are looking for much younger women for the most part, and I am not really interested in dating someone a lot older than me. I married and dated older and it was tricky because they generally had a lower libido and were not as active as me. The intelligent men I have met close to my age who are attractive wouldn't want someone as old as me, and the men who are interested are interested (as your friend) in a booty call not a partner. I think that might just be what the majority of demographics look like for 40-year-old women. Or perhaps that has just been my experience. But it does put me quite irrevocably on the shelf, at least for now.


I read that a lot. Know a 52 year old man dating a 23 year old. I haven’t had that experience dating. I seem to attract women my age. For the man, the hair is the dead giveaway. Yet I’m 51, haven’t lost a hair on my head and no grey. I think it’s who you connect with. Don’t give up hope just yet


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

karole said:


> How old do you think my friend is?
> View attachment 87724


I would like to see her without make up to get a much more accurate idea of her age. Going by her hands though I would say mid to late 50's.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

My age, my age now, will be the death of me.

I hate that I have aged.

I hate, I inwardly rage, I carry-on in silence.

There can be no peace with age.

I will not age, I will not, ... not until I die.

Only at death will age defeat me.

It must be.
It cannot be else.



_SunCMars- _I am a poor _loser,_ never accepting the _loss._


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. At times I feel a bit down about it because when I look in the mirror, I see wrinkles beginning to appear. *It does seem like the idea of aging gracefully is the mindset of the very young*
> 
> I color my hair but have done that since puberty. I suppose I could do botox but I don't like the way it looks on others. It looks like a person is made of wax. No expression.
> 
> Do you notice also how a lot of men date younger women because they say women their own age look unattractive for whatever reason? I feel like I don't have anything to offer to or gain from dating anymore. Men my age are looking for much younger women for the most part, and I am not really interested in dating someone a lot older than me. I married and dated older and it was tricky because they generally had a lower libido and were not as active as me. The intelligent men I have met close to my age who are attractive wouldn't want someone as old as me, and the men who are interested are interested (as your friend) in a booty call not a partner. I think that might just be what the majority of demographics look like for 40-year-old women. Or perhaps that has just been my experience. But it does put me quite irrevocably on the shelf, at least for now.


It's easy to say when it's not actively happening to you.

FWIW, I had Botox for a year before anyone knew. They only knew because I told them. Even my husband didn't know for months. If you have it done by a doctor, it's VERY subtle. But expensive.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

joannacroc said:


> I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. At times I feel a bit down about it because when I look in the mirror, I see wrinkles beginning to appear. It does seem like the idea of aging gracefully is the mindset of the very young
> 
> I color my hair but have done that since puberty. I suppose I could do botox but I don't like the way it looks on others. It looks like a person is made of wax. No expression.
> 
> Do you notice also how a lot of men date younger women because they say women their own age look unattractive for whatever reason? I feel like I don't have anything to offer to or gain from dating anymore. Men my age are looking for much younger women for the most part, and I am not really interested in dating someone a lot older than me. I married and dated older and it was tricky because they generally had a lower libido and were not as active as me. The intelligent men I have met close to my age who are attractive wouldn't want someone as old as me, and the men who are interested are interested (as your friend) in a booty call not a partner. I think that might just be what the majority of demographics look like for 40-year-old women. Or perhaps that has just been my experience. But it does put me quite irrevocably on the shelf, at least for now.


I know what you mean but there are still decent guys out there who don't want a child to date. I am sure you have a lot to offer the right man.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It's easy to say when it's not actively happening to you.
> 
> FWIW, I had Botox for a year before anyone knew. They only knew because I told them. Even my husband didn't know for months. If you have it done by a doctor, it's VERY subtle. But expensive.


I just dont get having poison injected into your face.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I know what you mean but there are still decent guys out there who don't want a child to date. I am sure you have a lot to offer the right man.


One would hope, right? I get where she is though. I've already decided after this one I'm finished. I won't even try, I feel like at my age I shouldn't HAVE to compete against little girls and wouldn't respect a man who wants to date/marry someone he views as a child anyway. Icky.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I just dont get having poison injected into your face.


You sound like my husband. 😉 I love it, I didn't even realize how much I needed it until I got it. When done well, it makes you look better, like makeup. But you're not really a makeup person, right? I'm VERY girly, with the makeup and the face masks and hair color and all the frilly, sparkly things.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Perhaps, but given her track record I think her perception of herself is skewed.
> 
> I've found that people often think I'm younger from a distance because I'm small and fit. When they get closer they can tell I'm not.
> 
> I was running with my gf(49) and we ran by a woman who commented that she thought we were high school runners 😅😅😅. But once again it's the size thing, and we are still pretty bad ass runners 😀


Yes, we used to go to a small gym where there was a small lady who had lost weight and from a distance she looked about 40. Close up she looked her age which was about 60 because of her skin and hands etc.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I'm 55, and I don't mind the way I look. I've never dyed my hair, and covid cured me of makeup - for the most part. 😊 

It is disheartening that some days, I feel like I'm falling apart health wise, but I just hope when I go, I go quickly.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> One would hope, right? I get where she is though. I've already decided after this one I'm finished. I won't even try, I feel like at my age I shouldn't HAVE to compete against little girls and wouldn't respect a man who wants to date/marry someone he views as a child anyway. Icky.


My first marriage ended when I was in my 40's and I met my now husband after 6 years in my late 40's. He is a year younger than me. If anything happened to him now (we are both mid 60's) I would have no interest in dating again ever. 
Yes I am with you, a man dating a girl his daughters age or younger is very Icky. I never wanted a father figure.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

minimalME said:


> I'm 55, and I don't mind the way I look. I've never dyed my hair, and covid cured me of makeup - for the most part. 😊
> 
> It is disheartening that some days, I feel like I'm falling apart health wise, but I just hope when I go, I go quickly.


I think we all need to learn to like ourselves the way we are. Its very freeing. Plus much cheaper


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> My first marriage ended when I was in my 40's and I met my now husband after 6 years in my late 40's. He is a year younger than me. If anything happened to him now (we are both mid 60's) I would have no interest in dating again ever.
> Yes I am with you, a man dating a girl his daughters age or younger is very Icky. I never wanted a father figure.


That whole "Daddy" thing with sex just gives me the creeps. Sadly, it seems that the majority of men prefer it. Yikes.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

joannacroc said:


> I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. At times I feel a bit down about it because when I look in the mirror, I see wrinkles beginning to appear. It does seem like the idea of aging gracefully is the mindset of the very young
> 
> I color my hair but have done that since puberty. I suppose I could do botox but I don't like the way it looks on others. It looks like a person is made of wax. No expression.
> 
> Do you notice also how a lot of men date younger women because they say women their own age look unattractive for whatever reason? I feel like I don't have anything to offer to or gain from dating anymore. Men my age are looking for much younger women for the most part, and I am not really interested in dating someone a lot older than me. I married and dated older and it was tricky because they generally had a lower libido and were not as active as me. The intelligent men I have met close to my age who are attractive wouldn't want someone as old as me, and the men who are interested are interested (as your friend) in a booty call not a partner. I think that might just be what the majority of demographics look like for 40-year-old women. Or perhaps that has just been my experience. But it does put me quite irrevocably on the shelf, at least for now.


I've heard this sentiment from others but have not found it to be universally true. Men who sniff around much younger women are poor prospects for comparably aged woman for many reasons anyway. And people make fun of how ridiculous they look...when I left my 19 years older ex you wouldn't believe how many people in the running community (which we both frequent) approached me and said they never understood what I was thinking and how everyone made fun of him. These things get around.

I'm thinking this depends on the circles you move in and OLD is probably the worst because certain people get on thinking they can order what they can't get IRL. But I know several men in their 50's off the top of my head, including the one I referenced in my original post, that would like comparably aged women. My coworker is 59 and has said I'm too young for anything serious. But they are looking for women who have taken care of themselves

Most of my time is spent in athletic circles and many of the couples meet there and are comparably aged. That's why I keep telling my TAM sisters to join a running or cycling club!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Numb26 said:


> What is hilarious about this is that if roles were reversed you would be screaming for the guys head because he "only wants to date younger women" and that "women his own age are beautiful". Ah, the double standards. 🤔


She didnt say she wanted to date younger men than her as far as I recall, this man is several years older than her and she clearly doesn't find him attractive.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> You sound like my husband. 😉 I love it, I didn't even realize how much I needed it until I got it. When done well, it makes you look better, like makeup. But you're not really a makeup person, right? I'm VERY girly, with the makeup and the face masks and hair color and all the frilly, sparkly things.


Right there with ya


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Damn, some of you are harsh. I think she looks fabulous for a 67 year old woman.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I think men date younger because the younger girl is usually of the mindset that anything goes sexually. Also, they are more willing to have sex frequently. Other reasons may be that the man doesn’t want to date an older woman with kids, as her time will be occupied and he won’t feel like much of a priority. For some, it’s a badge of honor to have a a girl half your age hanging on your arm when you go out. However, I never figured out what happens when she turns 28 and wants to have kids? I assume she gets dumped?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I think you’re right in almost all cases except for me, I am the exception to the rule.

When people (like my subordinates) find out my real age they say, “No way! Impossible! I would have thought you were 37!” Then I say, “I know right!”


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

On facebook, there are many groups for women with grey hair. Lots of people post a photo with dyed hair in comparison to a photo with their grey, and consistently the majority of women look better with their natural hair color.

I've seen one woman who did look older, but the rest look awesome.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RebuildingMe said:


> I think men date younger because the younger girl is usually of the mindset that anything goes sexually. Also, they are more willing to have sex frequently. Other reasons may be that the man doesn’t want to date an older woman with kids, as her time will be occupied and he won’t feel like much of a priority. For some, it’s a badge of honor to have a a girl half your age hanging on your arm when you go out. However, I never figured out what happens when she turns 28 and wants to have kids? I assume she gets dumped?


That's when you trade in for a newer model! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> That's when you trade in for a newer model! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Jack Murphy dates a new 24 year old every 5 years or so.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

karole said:


> Damn, some of you are harsh. I think she looks fabulous for a 67 year old woman.


I would have guessed 50s until I saw the hands. She reminds me of a friend of ours.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

minimalME said:


> On facebook, there are many groups for women with grey hair. Lots of people post a photo with dyed hair in comparison to a photo with their grey, and consistently the majority of women look better with their natural hair color.
> 
> I've seen one woman who did look older, but the rest look awesome.


It depends very much on your coloring. I can't pull off lavender or white blond, either. I have to have some warmth in my color or it just washes me out and I look like a corpse.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

My wife stopped aggressively coloring to hold the gray at bay. Now she does like lines or something, streaks? I dunno I just like when she gets it professionally straightened. Her hair was very brown like mine when we started going out; I always liked brown hair all the girls I was into had it. I got used to her new color, coming out of the salon I think it looks really good.

I have maybe four gray hairs but my facial hair has a lot maybe 1/3 gray. I dislike it greatly.

Other than that, I dress the same as I did when I was in high school. Heavy metal T shirts (some even replacements of the same ones). So I probably look stupid a lot of the time even though I will dress it up with a Patek on occasion. Nothing like a fine gold dress watch with camo cargo shorts, a Metallica shirt, and flip flops.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> My wife stopped aggressively coloring to hold the gray at bay. Now she does like lines or something, streaks? I dunno I just like when she gets it professionally straightened. Her hair was very brown like mine when we started going out; I always liked brown hair all the girls I was into had it. I got used to her new color, coming out of the salon I think it looks really good.
> 
> I have maybe four gray hairs but my facial hair has a lot maybe 1/3 gray. I dislike it greatly.
> 
> Other than that, I dress the same as I did when I was in high school. Heavy metal T shirts (some even replacements of the same ones). So I probably look stupid a lot of the time even though I will dress it up with a Patek on occasion. Nothing like a fine gold dress watch with camo cargo shorts, a Metallica shirt, and flip flops.


Got rid of my gray hair by shaving my head but my beard is about 70% white so I lost. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Oh yeah recently I have experimented with wearing Criquet golf polo shirts. So if I am on vacation I generally wear those. I instantly feel 20 years older.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

RebuildingMe said:


> I think men date younger because the younger girl is usually of the mindset that anything goes sexually. Also, they are more willing to have sex frequently. Other reasons may be that the man doesn’t want to date an older woman with kids, as her time will be occupied and he won’t feel like much of a priority. For some, it’s a badge of honor to have a a girl half your age hanging on your arm when you go out. However, I never figured out what happens when she turns 28 and wants to have kids? I assume she gets dumped?


I'm way more sexual and aggressive then I was in my 20's . You might get a younger one to put up with stuff bur most of them don't really know what they want.

So I suppose it depends on what you're looking for.

I will say that you only get my sexuality if you're involved with me....I don't do casual sex. I would think younger women might be more open to that, though i never was.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It depends very much on your coloring. I can't pull off lavender or white blond, either. I have to have some warmth in my color or it just washes me out and I look like a corpse.


Lord willing, I will never have gray hair or stop wearing make-up. I don’t leave the house w/o my makeup done & I get tired of other women making snide remarks ab women that do love their make up, hair color & Juvaderm. If you don’t want to do any of those things, good for you. I do and I love it & I don’t feel the least bit guilty or bad for doing it.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Numb26 said:


> That's when you trade in for a newer model! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Makes sense if you have the energy, time and financial resources to pull it off.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Got rid of my gray hair by shaving my head but my beard is about 70% white so I lost. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


My top hair is thin but not embarrassing. When my wife finds a gray hair she goes

OOOH A GRAY HAIR LOOK!

I say no that’s blonde.

NO NO… See here look at that. Grayer than Seattle in winter!!

Me: I don’t see it.

OK… Yoink!

Me: Ow. Yes, definitely blonde (it’s gray).

NO! SEE YOU HAVE GRAY TOO HA HA HA!


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RebuildingMe said:


> Makes sense if you have the energy, time and financial resources to pull it off.


As Meatloaf once sang, "Two out of three ain't bad"


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> I'm way more sexual and aggressive then I was in my 20's . You might get a younger one to put up with stuff bur most of them don't really know what they want.
> 
> So I suppose it depends on what you're looking for.
> 
> I will say that you only get my sexuality if you're involved with me....I don't do casual sex. I would think younger women might be more open to that, though i never was.


I had mixed results. The women I met were in their 40’s (one was 56 and lied about her age). Most (if not all) were DTF, but we’re pretty vanilla. Maybe it’s because they were all coming out of 15+ year marriages and were used to vanilla/sexless. I don’t know? I do agree that if a man is looking to hit it and quit it, he’d have much more success with the younger women.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Perhaps, but given her track record I think her perception of herself is skewed.
> 
> I've found that people often think I'm younger from a distance because I'm small and fit. When they get closer they can tell I'm not.
> 
> I was running with my gf(49) and we ran by a woman who commented that she thought we were high school runners 😅😅😅. But once again it's the size thing, and we are still pretty bad ass runners 😀


I have the same experience, people thinking I'm young because I'm very fit and then, I remove my sunglasses  ... the surprise is evident in their faces.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

karole said:


> Lord willing, I will never have gray hair or stop wearing make-up. I don’t leave the house w/o my makeup done & I get tired of other women making snide remarks ab women that do love their make up, hair color & Juvaderm. If you don’t want to do any of those things, good for you. I do and I love it & I don’t feel the least bit guilty or bad for doing it.


SAME. I wear makeup every day and I work from home. I never miss a hair, wax or Botox appointment. If they don’t want to, that’s fine, but I love putting on makeup, it’s something I do just for me and it’s fun. I also love facials and I have one of those little foot soaker things because I do my own pedicures. My bathroom cabinet looks like a potion class from Hogwart’s with all my treatments and serums. I LOVE it, all of it, and I will never stop. 👑


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Red Sonja said:


> I have the same experience, people thinking I'm young because I'm very fit and then, I remove my sunglasses  ... the surprise is evident in their faces.


It's the hollow, lifeless eyes, right?


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

lifeistooshort said:


> people imagine they look all kinds on younger if they're in any kind of decent shape.
> 
> But I've observed that this isn't true. You can take a 50 year old that's in fantastic shape and put them next to a 40 year old and it's obvious one is older.
> 
> I think people tell themselves this because they have a skewed perception of what it means to look one's age. They associate fitness and taking care of themselves with looking younger and imagine that their age means busted up. But really they look like a well preserved version of their age.


 I look my age but my wife looks younger. Looking younger is not just about being in shape, it is about genetics. Bone structure is a big factor in looking younger. The way your flesh hangs is a factor. How much sun did your skin get exposed to is a factor. Poor health has the potential to age you faster. Hair and clothing style can make you look younger or older. Saying that everyone looks their age is just not true. 

My wife still regularly hangs with many of her high school friends, and her looking younger than most of them is an open subject of conversation among the group. That being said, she never tries to deliberately pass for younger. She is who she is.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

karole said:


> Lord willing, I will never have gray hair or stop wearing make-up. I don’t leave the house w/o my makeup done & I get tired of other women making snide remarks ab women that do love their make up, hair color & Juvaderm. If you don’t want to do any of those things, good for you. I do and I love it & I don’t feel the least bit guilty or bad for doing it.


I've never read a comment in these groups bashing the choices of others, but we do share the shaming that we receive.

Twice I've had complete strangers walk past me on the street and say nasty things. 😔


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I was 48 when I learned that tanning in a bed destroys the collagen in your face. I was tan for most of my life, and look a LOT better tan, but I need collagen. Skin cancer didn’t scare me but jowls did.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

karole said:


> Lord willing, I will never have gray hair or stop wearing make-up. I don’t leave the house w/o my makeup done & I get tired of other women making snide remarks ab women that do love their make up, hair color & Juvaderm. If you don’t want to do any of those things, good for you. I do and I love it & I don’t feel the least bit guilty or bad for doing it.


I used to have my hair dyed till the lockdowns. Couldn't get it done for so long that it began to grow out and now I like it better than before. It's a sort of blonde/silver ish and I save a lot on not dyed. So even covid did have some positives.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

minimalME said:


> I've never read a comment in these groups bashing the choices of others, but we do share the shaming that we receive.
> 
> Twice I've had complete strangers walk past me on the street and say nasty things. 😔


About your hair?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

minimalME said:


> I've never read a comment in these groups bashing the choices of others, but we do share the shaming that we receive.
> 
> Twice I've had complete strangers walk past me on the street and say nasty things. 😔


For what?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

TexasMom1216 said:


> About your hair?


Yes.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I used to have my hair dyed till the lockdowns. Couldn't get it done for so long that it began to grow out and now I like it better than before. It's a sort of blonde/silver ish and I save a lot on not dyed. So even covid did have some positives.


My colorist came to my house. For a dog play date. 😉She just happened to have all her stuff to do my roots and highlights.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> For what?


Hair. 😂


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

minimalME said:


> Yes.


I will end them. 🤬


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> My colorist came to my house. For a dog play date. 😉She just happened to have all her stuff to do my roots and highlights.


I went to my hair stylists’ home to get my hair done during the lockdown. 😂


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I was 48 when I learned that tanning in a bed destroys the collagen in your face. I was tan for most of my life, and look a LOT better tan, but I need collagen. Skin cancer didn’t scare me but jowls did.


Yes I think that's partly why my skin is pretty good. Apart from genetics I dont spend time in the sun if I can avoid it and obviously live in a country not as hot and sunny as many. Sun is deadly for skin. Same as sun beds.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

karole said:


> I went to my hair stylists’ home to get my hair done during the lockdown. 😂


Priorities. Civilization must continue. 😂


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> My colorist came to my house. For a dog play date. 😉She just happened to have all her stuff to do my roots and highlights.


We couldn't do that. Couldn't mix at all unless we were in the same household.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Yes I think that's partly why my skin is pretty good. Apart from genetics I dont spend time in the sun if I can avoid it and obviously live in a country not as hot and sunny as many. Sun is deadly for skin. Same as sun beds.


Tanning really ages your skin. I wish I had a more olive complexion, I look so much better with some color. Alas, I’m mostly Norwegian. Totally pale. Staying out of the sun is the best way to keep your skin looking young. That and drinking lots of water.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Cletus said:


> It's the hollow, lifeless eyes, right?


Could be, maybe I turned zombie and didn't realize, I was thinking more the sunglasses covered the crows feet.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I will end them. 🤬


Thank you! 🤗😘


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

minimalME said:


> Hair. 😂


People need to stop chiming in on the look of a complete stranger, unless it's a compliment. It's just rude. I'm sure it's lovely.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

lifeistooshort said:


> My breasts are pretty average in size 😁😊
> 
> 34C


But as you age they become 34 long


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

If can't say something nice, silence is best policy. Always think of wife asking me "how do I look in this outfit". Like there is anything but one answer


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> If can't say something nice, silence is best policy. Always think of wife asking me "how do I look in this outfit". Like there is anything but one answer


What NOT to do....

Wife: Does this dress make me look fat?
Husband: The dress doesn't make you look fat.
Husband: The fat makes you look fat.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

karole said:


> Lord willing, I will never have gray hair or stop wearing make-up. I don’t leave the house w/o my makeup done & I get tired of other women making snide remarks ab women that do love their make up, hair color & Juvaderm. If you don’t want to do any of those things, good for you. I do and I love it & I don’t feel the least bit guilty or bad for doing it.


I have no idea why anyone would make snide makeup or hair color comments.

I'm not a big makeup person but I'm also a believer in the you do you philosophy.

I do like expensive hair care products which many don't seem to understand.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> People need to stop chiming in on the look of a complete stranger, unless it's a compliment. It's just rude. I'm sure it's lovely.


Who does that? I mean honestly. Who says, know what? I bet that woman feels good about herself, I better put a stop to that. It’s psychotic. It makes me feel stabby when people are mean for no reason.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Who does that? I mean honestly. Who says, know what? I bet that woman feels good about herself, I better put a stop to that. It’s psychotic. It makes me feel stabby when people are mean for no reason.


"Feel stabby" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Who does that? I mean honestly. Who says, know what? I bet that woman feels good about herself, I better put a stop to that. It’s psychotic. It makes me feel stabby when people are mean for no reason.


When I see a woman done up like Barbie or caked in makeup, "I bet that woman feels good about herself" is not the thought that comes to mind. Closer to the opposite.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> When I see a woman done up like Barbie or caked in makeup, "I bet that woman feels good about herself" is not the thought that comes to mind. Closer to the opposite.


I was talking about rude comments being made to a woman with her natural hair color. But thanks for the example of how people like to shame women for wearing makeup.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I age when I get fat, and look younger when slimmer. It's a WTF to me recently because I only noticed this year I could reverse my age.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> What NOT to do....
> 
> Wife: Does this dress make me look fat?
> Husband: The dress doesn't make you look fat.
> Husband: The fat makes you look fat.


You are just mean Numb. 😂😂


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

karole said:


> You are just mean Numb. 😂😂


Wasn't me! I swear! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

bobert said:


> When I see a woman done up like Barbie or caked in makeup, "I bet that woman feels good about herself" is not the thought that comes to mind. Closer to the opposite.


Good for you. Do you make your wife wear an apron too??


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> Wasn't me! I swear! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Don’t be mean. Makes me stabby.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Rus47 said:


> If can't say something nice, silence is best policy. Always think of wife asking me "how do I look in this outfit". Like there is anything but one answer


Fat?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> I age when I get fat, and look younger when slimmer. It's a WTF to me recently because I only noticed this year I could reverse my age.


This is a real thing. Being thin does make you look younger, I’m very, very slowly finding that out. Veeerrrryyy slowly.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I am fortunate that my husband doesn’t mind my love of makeup, hair coloring or procedures I consider upgrades. He is happy with me. That is all I care about


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Don’t be mean. Makes me stabby.


I always tell the truth 🤣🤣🤣


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

karole said:


> I am fortunate that my husband doesn’t mind my love of makeup, hair coloring or procedures I consider upgrades. He is happy with me


Mine could do without the expense 🤪 but he likes that I’m girly. He is anti-facelift though. He said I would look like a lizard duck.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> I always tell the truth 🤣🤣🤣


If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. -Thumper’s mother


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Mine could do without the expense 🤪 but he likes that I’m girly. He is anti-facelift though. He said I would look like a lizard duck.


I haven’t had a facelift yet, but, I’m considering it in the next couple years. My husband told me, do what makes you happy. My cousin that is 4 years older than me just recently had a facelift looks FABULOUS, so, I am almost ready for the plunge. I don’t want huge lips or my eyebrows going up to my hairline like Pelosi, but, I’m ready for a mini lift


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. -Thumper’s mother


I shall not tell lies - Dolores Umbridge


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

karole said:


> Good for you. Do you make your wife wear an apron too??


Is that supposed to be an insult?


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I was talking about rude comments being made to a woman with her natural hair color. But thanks for the example of how people like to shame women for wearing makeup.



No matter what you do you'll never please everyone. I personally hate wearing makeup because i suck at applying. But I wear about 4 things on my face so strangers children don't recoil in horror lol

I have admiration for people who are good at putting it on.

Until recently I rarely styled my hair beyond keeping it healthy and brushing it. Then I discovered a cool spinny brush electric tool thingy that sort of blow dries and styles your hair pretty quickly. I only bother to use it a couple of times a week. People have been nice enough to compliment me but it could be that they are inwardly thinking it's a bit old fashioned. I don't know.

People say natural is best but friends have sometimes said when I'm all dolled up for an event "why don't you do that with your hair all the time?" So I feel like you can't win. Lol


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

bobert said:


> Is that supposed to be an insult?


You always seem to sling insults at women that wear makeup, so, take it anyway you wantb


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I want the lower facelift. I don’t need anything done to my lips, and we were able to fix my uneven eyebrows with Botox. I want my implants lifted and probably will need a tummy tuck. My husband is more worried about anesthesia than anything else.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> I shall not tell lies - Dolores Umbridge


I will stab her.

😂😂😂😂


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> No matter what you do you'll never please everyone. I personally hate wearing makeup because i suck at applying. But I wear about 4 things on my face so strangers children don't recoil in horror lol
> 
> I have admiration for people who are good at putting it on.
> 
> ...


It takes practice. I watch YouTube makeup tutorials the way normal people watch home improvement videos, I really enjoy it. For most people, a touch of mascara, a little blush and a mauve lip is plenty. I’ve gone WAY overboard with it. It’s so fun though, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy it so much.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I used to be able to apply full makeup in the dark in the car. That's how I briefly got the nickname "Warm chestnuts."


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> But thanks for the example of how people like to shame women for wearing makeup.


Last ex took 15-30 minutes for daily makeup. Some took hours and it's a significant part of their day. Nothing wrong with either though.

As long as we don't get catfished too badly! 😑


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I have grandchildren who are technically adults and two of them love to try extreme looks. They don’t really care what their grandmother thinks but they ask anyway. My standard response is “bless your heart”. They have no clue that can mean any number of things. I think adults should do as they wish. It might not be my thing but if it’s theirs then why not.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Last ex took 15-30 minutes for daily makeup. Some took hours and it's a significant part of their day. Nothing wrong with either though.
> 
> As long as we don't get catfished too badly! 😑


It takes me about 30 minutes. I can do it in 20 if I don’t do exciting eyeshadow.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It takes me about 30 minutes. I can do it in 20 if I don’t do exciting eyeshadow.


Ex did it in the car when I had time to drive her around in the mornings, everything in her bag lol.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

A coworker and I were eating out a couple of weeks ago and tried guessing the waitress's age. We both had her pegged at around 23 and definitely no older than 25. She was 36 and I was genuinely surprised.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> This is a real thing. Being thin does make you look younger, I’m very, very slowly finding that out. Veeerrrryyy slowly.


Not always. Older people who are thin tend to look more wrinkly and saggy.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I want the lower facelift. I don’t need anything done to my lips, and we were able to fix my uneven eyebrows with Botox. I want my implants lifted and probably will need a tummy tuck. My husband is more worried about anesthesia than anything else.


Yes and he is right. Every op is a big risk. I hate having anaesthetic, it's bad enough when you have to have an operation.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Being old and having eye lines, I can't wear as much makeup or it just looks worse. But what I hate is my eyebrows thinning so now for the first time in my life, I have to do eyebrows, and that's easier said than done. Couldn't do that in the dark.

To me, wearing makeup isn't catfishing. It's who you are. You are a person who wears makeup. Now, if you never wear makeup except you're photoshopping your social media photo to look like you do, that's catfishing.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

karole said:


> I am fortunate that my husband doesn’t mind my love of makeup, hair coloring or procedures I consider upgrades. He is happy with me. That is all I care about


Yes in the end it's good to agree on these things. Mr D doesn't bother about me not wearing make up which is good as I never do.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> A coworker and I were eating out a couple of weeks ago and tried guessing the waitress's age. We both had her pegged at around 23 and definitely no older than 25. She was 36 and I was genuinely surprised.


For a guy, it's weird. I'm baby-faced, which is good and bad. Only fat ages me.

This is what I have to do sometimes 😑 :








9 Simple Style Tweaks Babyfaced Men Can Use to Look Older (And Get Taken Seriously)


Get taken more seriously (and never get carded again)




theessentialman.com





Yet I get younger women so 😝😅


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Mine could do without the expense 🤪 but he likes that I’m girly. He is anti-facelift though. He said I would look like a lizard duck.


Mr D is anti any cosmetic surgery.


----------



## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

I've looked ten years older than I actually was since I was 30. At 54, the gap has closed somewhat. Maybe by 60, ii'l actually look 60 lol.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Sometimes when I'm watching professional triathletes I see the elite women and they look like they're in their 30's and 40's. Then I see that they're 23!

All of can think is damn girlfriend, put on some sunscreen. It ain't getting any better.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Being old and having eye lines, I can't wear as much makeup or it just looks worse. But what I hate is my eyebrows thinning so now for the first time in my life, I have to do eyebrows, and that's easier said than done. Couldn't do that in the dark.
> 
> To me, wearing makeup isn't catfishing. It's who you are. You are a person who wears makeup. Now, if you never wear makeup except you're photoshopping your social media photo to look like you do, that's catfishing.


I am amazed at how much make up can change your whole face and you can look like a completely different person. It's pretty shocking some of the changes I have seen on line. They don't look like the same face!


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Being old and having eye lines, I can't wear as much makeup or it just looks worse. But what I hate is my eyebrows thinning so now for the first time in my life, I have to do eyebrows, and that's easier said than done. Couldn't do that in the dark.
> 
> To me, wearing makeup isn't catfishing. It's who you are. You are a person who wears makeup. Now, if you never wear makeup except you're photoshopping your social media photo to look like you do, that's catfishing.


For me, THIS is catfishing:






And a god damn work of art!


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

karole said:


> You always seem to sling insults at women that wear makeup, so, take it anyway you wantb


Well, I'll take it as a poor attempt at an insult then. Though she is terribly messy in the kitchen, so an apron isn't a bad idea 

I'll _gladly _take the low-maintenance wife over a high-maintenance one though. The latter would be a nightmare to me. And it's not like she never wears makeup, never gets her hair done, etc. She will sometimes put some on for date nights, appointments, etc., but it's very simple and I can barely tell she's wearing it (which is how it should be IMO). If her eyelashes aren't tinted she puts on a light-colored mascara but that's about it for the day-to-day. She's a redhead and the color changes a bit with sun exposure. Sometimes it's too copper for her liking or she gets random blonde streaks, so she has something done to it (balayage?) and then lets it grow out and goes back once a year at most.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> We couldn't do that. Couldn't mix at all unless we were in the same household.


Unless your name is Boris or you were a friend of Boris, then you could have done as you pleased.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I am amazed at how much make up can change your whole face and you can look like a completely different person. It's pretty shocking some of the changes I have seen on line. They don't look like the same face!


The smaller your features the more the makeup can change your look.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> For me, THIS is catfishing:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Photoshopping.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Diana7 said:


> I am amazed at how much make up can change your whole face and you can look like a completely different person. It's pretty shocking some of the changes I have seen on line. They don't look like the same face!


You can literally rob a bank! 



DownByTheRiver said:


> Photoshopping.


And incredible lol


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

karole said:


> Damn, some of you are harsh. I think she looks fabulous for a 67 year old woman.


She looks ridiculous for a 67 year old woman. The hair is a fabulous color - just wrong style for a woman her age. All of it together (hair, makeup, nails & top) screams 'desperate'. Unless, she is on the stage.


----------



## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> "Feel stabby" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


You know, I could see TM get stabby. 

I see nothing wrong with stabby. 


I may be the inverse of what is considered "normal" for men. The older I get, the more I find women my age to be attractive - especially if they take care of themselves. 

I agree with lifeistooshort. Being fit doesn't make people look younger. It just makes them look fit. Some people though just don't seem to age like others. I've seen plenty of folks my age that look younger than their age. 

I guess the best compliment I've gotten in this realm is that one of my co-workers told me this year she was surprised I had two kids. I asked why and she said that I don't look old enough to have two kids. 

I found that to be odd. 

Of course, she could have meant that my maturity level didn't seem up to par for being a father, but I'm gonna take the other path and say she must have thought I looked young for my age.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> Sometimes when I'm watching professional triathletes I see the elite women and they look like they're in their 30's and 40's. Then I see that they're 23!
> 
> All of can think is damn girlfriend, put on some sunscreen. It ain't getting any better.


I have noticed as well with endurance athletes, it’s also true for men they look like crap sometimes especially if they’re not lifting.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Ex did it in the car when I had time to drive her around in the mornings, everything in her bag lol.


I’ve done it in the car on the way to the airport when we had an early flight.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Not always. Older people who are thin tend to look more wrinkly and saggy.


Guess how you fix that. 😉

Anesthesia means I get a nap.


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Blondilocks said:


> She looks ridiculous for a 67 year old woman. The hair is a fabulous color - just wrong style for a woman her age. All of it together (hair, makeup, nails & top) screams 'desperate'. Unless, she is on the stage.


She is on the stage. She is a professional singer. Sorry to see you are so judgmental of your fellow women


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> I have noticed as well with endurance athletes, it’s also true for men they look like crap sometimes especially if they’re not lifting.


As patently unfair as this is, really low body fat can also make people look old. You have to find that sweet spot.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

karole said:


> She is on the stage. She is a professional singer. Glad to see you are so judgmental of your fellow women


Lots of judgement on this thread. I’m always confused by people who are passionately anti-makeup, and no one has ever been able to explain to me how something I do for myself that asks nothing of anyone else makes me “high maintenance.” The woman who wears no makeup but makes unreasonable demands and constantly needs attention-low maintenance. Normal, independent person who enjoys makeup-high maintenance nightmare. Makes no sense.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> As patently unfair as this is, really low body fat can also make people look old. You have to find that sweet spot.


Yeah, I see that with the older runners. They're skin and bones and they sag. I see this with people starting in the 40's.

My face has always been a little chubby thanks to my Russian Jewish heritage so I'm good aa long as my weight is down. A few extra pounds and my face puffs up.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I don't really find makeup can hide age  

Then again...


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Lots of judgement on this thread. I’m always confused by people who are passionately anti-makeup, and no one has ever been able to explain to me how something I do for myself that asks nothing of anyone else makes me “high maintenance.” The woman who wears no makeup but makes unreasonable demands and constantly needs attention-low maintenance. Normal, independent person who enjoys makeup-high maintenance nightmare. Makes no sense.


I have to disagree. I don't see judgements,, but I do see preferences which we all have.

Did I miss something?


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Lots of judgement on this thread. I’m always confused by people who are passionately anti-makeup, and no one has ever been able to explain to me how something I do for myself that asks nothing of anyone else makes me “high maintenance.” The woman who wears no makeup but makes unreasonable demands and constantly needs attention-low maintenance. Normal, independent person who enjoys makeup-high maintenance nightmare. Makes no sense.


So a woman getting a facelift (or any other cosmetic surgery) isn't asking anything at all of her husband? His time to take care of her post-op? His time to take her too and from appointments? His money or shared money (and lots of it)? Causing him to worry about her?

What about when someone wants to leave the house spontaneously and has to hear "hold on, I have to get ready"... then has to wait around for 20, 30, 60 minutes just to get out the door?

What about women who spend an obscene amount of money on all these products and procedures? All the makeup, the serums, the new eyeshadow pallets that they just must have, the nails, the hair, the fillers, the surgeries, etc. That's not asking anything of anyone else, ever?

The reaction says everything, @TexasMom1216.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> I have to disagree. I don't see judgements,, but I do see preferences which we all have.
> 
> Did I miss something?


I don’t want to call anyone out, I’m sure you know why. But it has been implied that makeup makes one high maintenance. Correlation doesn’t equal causation; just because my eyelids are sparkly pink doesn’t mean I’m a PITA. Plus that poor lady in the picture, people were a little mean to her. I’d have gone with a little more subtle makeup myself but I understand she was wearing stage makeup. That is a notable distinction, we all know stage makeup is more dramatic.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I don’t want to call anyone out, I’m sure you know why. But it has been implied that makeup makes one high maintenance. Correlation doesn’t equal causation; just because my eyelids are sparkly pink doesn’t mean I’m a PITA. Plus that poor lady in the picture, people were a little mean to her. I’d have gone with a little more subtle makeup myself but I understand she was wearing stage makeup. That is a notable distinction, we all know stage makeup is more dramatic.


High maintenance is somewhat subjective, so depending on one's tolerance and preferences makeup might be high maintenance.

Since you like it such a guy would be a poor match for you.

Some men might think the amount of time i spend running and cycling makes me high maintenance 😀


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I think it all depends. I won't try and pretend I look younger than my age of 42 but I will say that I think I look younger than most of my old friends from when I was a teenager. I still have most of my hair, it hasn't gone all gray, and I don't have a lot of lines on my face. I live near the beach and you see a lot of people, especially ladies, that were stunning when they were young, but too much time in the sun has them looking like a raisin. I also know a lot of people that led a hard life with drugs and partying and they often look at least 10 years older. My GF definitely looks younger than her age though. No doubt about that one. She probably looks 8-10 years younger than she is.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

lifeistooshort said:


> I have to disagree. I don't see judgements,, but I do see preferences which we all have.
> 
> Did I miss something?


I almost didn't recognise a recent date. I got catfished, yet I appreciate that she told me she was going to wear little to no make up on our first date 

For men with trust issues, first date - the beach! 😅
I've never seen a transformation with beach-proof make up


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I’ve always thought too much make up is another form of a bait and switch. You don’t know what you really have until the next morning. Same as those things women wear under clothes to make them look 15 pounds lighter. It’s all fake to me.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Plus that poor lady in the picture, people were a little mean to her.


And whose fault is that? The person who took her photo, put it on the internet, and asked for opinions on her age - most likely without her permission.


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

karole said:


> How old do you think my friend is?
> View attachment 87724


55


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> High maintenance is somewhat subjective, so depending on one's tolerance and preferences makeup might be high maintenance.
> 
> Since you like it such a guy would be a poor match for you.
> 
> Some men might think the amount of time i spend running and cycling makes me high maintenance 😀


Sometimes I suspect anything we spend our time don’t that isn’t for and about them is going make us “high maintenance.” Also, they don’t want us spending THEIR money on something that isn’t only for them. That we might make our own money is impossible. My husband has no issue with my makeup habit. It makes me happy, and he likes that.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

RandomDude said:


> I've never seen a transformation with beach-proof make up


Isn't waterproof makeup a thing?


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Amazing how this fun thread turned into a woman hating thread so fast. 🙄🙁. I’m out, y’all enjoy insulting women to each other.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Amazing how this fun thread turned into a woman hating thread so fast. 🙄🙁. I’m out, y’all enjoy insulting women to each other.


Sorry, I haven't seen any "women hating" unless I've missed something.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

bobert said:


> So a woman getting a facelift (or any other cosmetic surgery) isn't asking anything at all of her husband? His time to take care of her post-op? His time to take her too and from appointments? His money or shared money (and lots of it)? Causing him to worry about her?
> 
> What about when someone wants to leave the house spontaneously and has to hear "hold on, I have to get ready"... then has to wait around for 20, 30, 60 minutes just to get out the door?
> 
> What about women who spend an obscene amount of money on all these products and procedures? All the makeup, the serums, the new eyeshadow pallets that they just must have, the nails, the hair, the fillers, the surgeries, etc. That's not asking anything of anyone else, ever?


I dunno about facelift/surgery and stuff, but when it comes to makeup... I like it when my partner dresses up and puts in the effort to look good. 
I don't want it to be all the time though yeah, it's nice if she is comfortable without it too.

Makeup are like clothes. When I we go out for special occasions I want to be able to ask her to look her best just as I spend time on my presentation as well.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Cooper said:


> I think I look older than my age (61), and in photos I look even older. Though I am physically in very good shape and routinely have people tell me I don't look my age. So confusing.


I know what you mean. When in HS through college, I was never carded at bars or liquor stores. I was more mature than others my age. I remember at 16 there was this hot little brown eyed Hispanic girl I worked with. She was very interested and was always catching her staring at me and smiling. Up until she found out I was 3 yrs younger than her. Blew up her fantasy. LoL 😂.

My wife is almost 4 yrs older and she was so self conscious I was same age as her baby brother. When my hair started turning silver, she don't want me to use any just for men as I now look older


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

bobert said:


> Isn't waterproof makeup a thing?


Sure but every "transformation" video I've seen of beachproof makeup the women are already naturally beautiful, it's a far cry compared to the earlier catfish videos I posted lol


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> Sorry, I haven't seen any "women hating" unless I've missed something.


Not you. You’re just teasing and playing. I’d better go, Peggy’s are out.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Divinely Favored said:


> I know what you mean. When in HS through college, I was never carded at bars or liquor stores. I was more mature than others my age. I remember at 16 there was this hot little brown eyed Hispanic girl I worked with. She was very interested and was always catching her staring at me and smiling. Up until she found out I was 3 yrs younger than her. Blew up her fantasy. LoL 😂.
> 
> My wife is almost 4 yrs older and she was so self conscious I was same age as her baby brother. When my hair started turning silver, she don't want me to use any just for men as I now look older


As a cradle robber, I always find it odd when people mention age differences of like... just 4 years lol


----------



## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> My breasts are pretty average in size 😁😊
> 
> 34C


POIDH


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Sometimes I suspect anything we spend our time don’t that isn’t for and about them is going make us “high maintenance.” Also, they don’t want us spending THEIR money on something that isn’t only for them. That we might make our own money is impossible. My husband has no issue with my makeup habit. It makes me happy, and he likes that.


Back when I'd post about my marital issues....before I finally left the ex....I had a few posters accuse me of wanting his financial support. Didn't occur to them that as an actuary I might make more then him 😅

Nope...I must have wanted his money. Believe me when I say that if money was my motivator I could've done much better 😅

The posters in question are no longer around. Not because of me...thet just moved on.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Back to the OP, there is one lady at my gym who I pegged as 10 years younger. Her actual age is mid 60s but I had her with some of the other ladies (mid 50s). She told me her age and I was like damn lady you are working it out! All of these people are “fit” some more than others.

I asked her how she looks so good and she said one of the things was getting hip surgery so she moves like a younger version. Then she watched me limping around and was like man you need to do it!

Scary…


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Bluesclues said:


> I agree with you. I once came home from a manicure, showed my hands to my son and said “what do you think?” He said “am I looking at your nails or the spots on your hands?” Damn kids!


My son was watching Bugs Bunny one day, said I watched Bugs every Saturday. 

He said "They had Bugs Bunny when you were a kid!?"

I said yes?!

He said, "Oh...it was in Black and White though wasn't it?"

In the words of Larry, Moe and Curly's dad..."Come close my son, so I may bless you"......SLAP!


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> So a woman getting a facelift (or any other cosmetic surgery) isn't asking anything at all of her husband? His time to take care of her post-op? His time to take her too and from appointments? His money or shared money (and lots of it)? Causing him to worry about her?


You don't know anything about cosmetic surgery. Most of it is outpatient. I would drive myself. And take care of me post-op? No one takes care of me, I'm not a child. I had mammoplasty in my 30s and was back at the gym in 3 days. My husband doesn't need to drive me around, I have my own car. And as amazing as this will be to you, I make money, too. One of my bonuses will pay for ALL of this. The "worry" part is the funniest part of your whole post, because clearly what's worrying you is the toll on your money and time. Is anything a woman does only for herself a waste of your time and money?


bobert said:


> What about when someone wants to leave the house spontaneously and has to hear "hold on, I have to get ready"... then has to wait around for 20, 30, 60 minutes just to get out the door?


Another wild, strawman leap unmoored to reality. If we need to leave the house and I'm not ready, I don't wear makeup, I put on a cap. Unless he says he can wait 10-15 minutes while I put on some makeup. But at this point, if he doesn't want to wait he just SAYS SO. Wild insinuations and insults to my character and ability to be a good partner based on... nothing.


bobert said:


> What about women who spend an obscene amount of money on all these products and procedures? All the makeup, the serums, the new eyeshadow pallets that they just must have, the nails, the hair, the fillers, the surgeries, etc. That's not asking anything of anyone else, ever?
> 
> The reaction says everything, @TexasMom1216.


First of all, "obscene" is a relative term. I would imagine the same amount of money spent on your hobby would not be obscene. And again, if it's my annual bonus and we agree that one year we spend it on something for him and one year we spend it on me, I'm not sure where this horrific sacrifice is.

Is it "high maintenance" if I take time for myself to work out? I suppose my Peloton makes me "high maintenance"? Or did you just come to this thread to start an argument?


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> Back when I'd post about my marital issues....before I finally left the ex....I had a few posters accuse me of wanting his financial support. Didn't occur to them that as an actuary I might make more then him 😅
> 
> Nope...I must have wanted his money. Believe me when I say that if money was my motivator I could've done much better 😅
> 
> The posters in question are no longer around. Not because of me...thet just moved on.


Last one, I promise and I will leave your thread. There's a lot of that but we have to remember there are men who have been treated VERY poorly by women in their lives and men don't have an outlet to express their anger like women do. We're expected to emote and get all that out, and men feel like they have to hold it in. It wasn't personal, they were venting. If it makes you feel better, it probably made THEM feel better to take that out on you. 

Sorry I ruined your thread. (Forest Gump voice)


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Last one, I promise and I will leave your thread. There's a lot of that but we have to remember there are men who have been treated VERY poorly by women in their lives and men don't have an outlet to express their anger like women do. We're expected to emote and get all that out, and men feel like they have to hold it in. It wasn't personal, they were venting. If it makes you feel better, it probably made THEM feel better to take that out on you.
> 
> Sorry I ruined your thread. (Forest Gump voice)


Who said you ruined the thread? I think it's entertaining and going well.

You have to stop whipping yourself ❤

I never take things personally....I keep my sense of humor. I was actually chuckling as I typed that post.

I'm quite enjoying the comments and discussion.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> Who said you ruined the thread? I think it's entertaining and going well.
> 
> You have to stop whipping yourself ❤
> 
> ...


It was kind of a joke, it's from Forrest Gump. Sometimes my jokes don't land because I can't do voices over the internet.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It was kind of a joke, it's from Forrest Gump. Sometimes my jokes don't land because I can't do voices over the internet.


Oh. I got it!

That is funny 😀

That douchbag that he beat up totally had it coming!


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> You don't know anything about cosmetic surgery. Most of it is outpatient. I would drive myself. And take care of me post-op? No one takes care of me, I'm not a child. I had mammoplasty in my 30s and was back at the gym in 3 days. My husband doesn't need to drive me around, I have my own car. And as amazing as this will be to you, I make money, too. One of my bonuses will pay for ALL of this. The "worry" part is the funniest part of your whole post, because clearly what's worrying you is the toll on your money and time. Is anything a woman does only for herself a waste of your time and money?
> 
> Another wild, strawman leap unmoored to reality. If we need to leave the house and I'm not ready, I don't wear makeup, I put on a cap. Unless he says he can wait 10-15 minutes while I put on some makeup. But at this point, if he doesn't want to wait he just SAYS SO. Wild insinuations and insults to my character and ability to be a good partner based on... nothing.
> 
> ...


In this thread, and others, you have talked about wanting a facelift - which you also said your husband does not want you to have done. Why? He's worried about the anesthesia. Yet, when I use the word "worry", it's "clearly" just about the money and time? You are completely wrong with that assumption, btw. You think there are a lot of "women-haters" here? I spy with my little eye... at least one man-hater. 

On the topic of the facelift and anesthesia, nope you would not be driving yourself home. Having your own car doesn't mean squat when you are fresh out of surgery or on certain post-op medications. 

In case you missed it, I said "his money OR SHARED MONEY". That means your money as well, aka, you making money  I also didn't say YOU specifically in the post you quoted. YOU are the one who made it all about yourself.

You think anyone who has a different opinion than you is out to get you or only here to argue. They are not. My first post on this thread had NOTHING to do with you, so tell me, how is that me "coming to this thread to start an argument"?


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> In this thread, and others, you have talked about wanting a facelift - which you also said your husband does not want you to have done. Why? He's worried about the anesthesia. Yet, when I use the word "worry", it's "clearly" just about the money and time? You are completely wrong with that assumption, btw. You think there are a lot of "women-haters" here? I spy with my little eye... at least one man-hater.
> 
> On the topic of the facelift and anesthesia, nope you would not be driving yourself home. Having your own car doesn't mean squat when you are fresh out of surgery or on certain post-op medications.
> 
> ...


Sigh. Everything you said here is fair. I was wrong, I took it too personally. I'm not a man-hater, I am just being too defensive about being called high maintenance, especially when I know it's not true. I shouldn't have responded.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Fingers off the triggers people! 🤗


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Rus47 said:


> If can't say something nice, silence is best policy. Always think of wife asking me "how do I look in this outfit". Like there is anything but one answer


If my wife ask, she knows I will be truthful. If I don't like the way it looks on her, or think it looks stupid/unflattering, I am going to tell her so she is not embarrassed in public.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Divinely Favored said:


> If my wife ask, she knows I will be truthful. If I don't like the way it looks on her, or think it looks stupid/unflattering, *I am going to tell her so she is not embarrassed in public.*


You would get in trouble otherwise... well I did 😑


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It was kind of a joke, it's from Forrest Gump. Sometimes my jokes don't land because I can't do voices over the internet.


Loved how he was beating ole boys azz after the guy slapped Jenny. Like a freaking jack hammer.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Re. the psychology, I’m often surprised when I look up an actor from a show I just watched, and see how old they are (assuming show was recently made). I’m like, damn, how can they be seven years younger than me and look so old? Is that how I look? Do I look worse?

I don’t live close to my high school classmates and seldom see them. After a certain point class reunions (in person, or photos of the events shared online) started getting jarring… like, yeah, I see it now, time is adding up. We’re ****ing old.

I see evidence from my classmates we are not all showing our age the same way. Where I fall on that spectrum, I couldn’t really say — but for decades, seemed i and others thought I looked young for my age. (Probably not now).. But, I wonder if these surprises I get when I see other people and happen to know or remember their ages — well, maybe surprise happens because I don’t generally spend much time thinking of how old I am and how I look. That is, last time I checked, I did look younger than I am…now…and so that’s sort of how I perceive myself.

I also have fairly few photos of myself. That probably helps distort how I view myself, age wise.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Andy1001 said:


> D
> 
> Does
> View attachment 87716
> this guy not get your pulse racing?


If he tied the strands into a little pig tail, nothing could stop me he he


----------



## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> I don't really find makeup can hide age
> 
> Then again...


This is one of the reasons why it can be difficult to gauge how old some women are from a distance. They can be so dolled up for an event (or habitual).

Photos can be deceiving as well because they can be cropped and/or edited.

My visual sense and capability works best in natural environment and contact situations to notice aging effects. Not so much in digital environment.

I really dislike Fakeness - the need to alter one's appearance with extreme applications of makeup and/or cosmetic surgery. I like a person who is genuine.

I pointed out that there is difference between _Looking Good_ and _Looking Young_ in a post:









Looking One's Age


People can look good in any age bracket up to 60 years in age subject to good genes, consumption habits and level of care. But Looking Good is different from Looking Young in my view. People in their 20s are very likely to have good facial symmetry and excellent skin texture; this is the age...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com





There is an age threshold after which people will stop _Looking Young_ but they can _Look Good_. I believe in _Looking Good_ through healthy habits in large part. It is not fake.

My take is that many women are insecure deep down. They apply heavy makeup and consider cosmetic surgery in the hope of looking younger and better than others in their age bracket. They feel good when they have external validation. This could also be due to the fact that many men are dating much younger women in current times. This is making numerous older women nervous.

These older women do not seem to understand that their personality matters and fakeness will not work. If they are too picky, arrogant, Feminist, and high maintenance, how many men would want to be them? I would run in another direction as well.

Just try be yourself with healthy habits and good personality. This is not fake.

I can understand the need to address a physical abnormality and/or removal of a birth mark/bad skin patch, but there is no need to radically alter your facial looks.

Aging effects will catch up to you and fakeness of cosmetic procedures will be increasingly apparent at some point as well. The woman will look Plastic in the end.

Well...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

karole said:


> She is on the stage. She is a professional singer. Sorry to see you are so judgmental of your fellow women


If you don't want opinions, don't ask. Does she know you plastered her mug on the internet?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> I think it all depends. I won't try and pretend I look younger than my age of 42 but I will say that I think I look younger than most of my old friends from when I was a teenager. I still have most of my hair, it hasn't gone all gray, and I don't have a lot of lines on my face. I live near the beach and you see a lot of people, especially ladies, that were stunning when they were young, but too much time in the sun has them looking like a raisin. I also know a lot of people that led a hard life with drugs and partying and they often look at least 10 years older. My GF definitely looks younger than her age though. No doubt about that one. She probably looks 8-10 years younger than she is.


That's typical for Filipinas. I had a Filipina friend who was 28 and just a few weeks out from giving birth when we went to a hockey game. Her husband had the baby while she ran to the car to get something. On the way back in, the ticket taker gave her a gift they were handing out to those who were 12 and under. We laughed and laughed.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> That's typical for Filipinas. I had a Filipina friend who was 28 and just a few weeks out from giving birth when we went to a hockey game. Her husband had the baby while she ran to the car to get something. On the way back in, the ticket taker gave her a gift they were handing out to those who were 12 and under. We laughed and laughed.


I have a Vietnamese running friend who's 2 months older then me (48). She still looks like a 12 year old until you get a closer look at her face.

She knows it and laughs about it.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> You don't know anything about cosmetic surgery. Most of it is outpatient. I would drive myself.


Well, okey dokey. In California, no doctor will administer anesthesia in an outpatient setting without there being a designated driver for that person. And, they can not call an uber or cab etc. They insist you have someone in your home to watch you for several hours.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Genetics. My dad was in his early 70's when he passed and could've passed for 50. I'm on the online dating apps and have been looking at men's profiles for months now. I only search for men in my age range, late 40's to early 50's and man is it a mixed bag. Most look much older but every now and then I'll run across one who aged very well. 

I can't tell you how many times I've stated that there are no hotties in my age range, for either sex. So to expect that at this stage of life is expecting too much.

I took after my dad and can pass for younger than I am but that comes from the men I meet. I don't see myself that way because I know what I looked like when I was younger and so to me, I definitely have aged. But the men, who are out there in dating land dating other ladies my age, tell me I look much younger than most my age. But that may mean, I just look good for 50. I only use eye liner and mascara and haven't needed to dye my hair yet and they seem to love that.


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

I wonder if part of the reason people think they look younger than they are is because prior generations did appear older looking and that is what they equate certain ages to look like. Anything short of matronly makes me think I look younger in comparison.

My mom was a twin and she and her sister are a case study on how environmental factors age you. My aunt smoked and lived in a state were she could play tennis daily and was perma-tan. My mom never smoked and lived in a cold weather state. She loved to golf and was certainly tan the few nice months of the year. Holy cow did they look different. Mom had her share of sun damage but my aunt looked 20 years older. My aunt also really enjoyed her life though.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> Well, okey dokey. In California, no doctor will administer anesthesia in an outpatient setting without there being a designated driver for that person. And, they can not call an uber or cab etc. They insist you have someone in your home to watch you for several hours.


I would never ask my husband to do that. Here you can call an Uber or a cab, or you can have a friend do it, which would be my most likely choice.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> High maintenance is somewhat subjective, so depending on one's tolerance and preferences makeup might be high maintenance.
> 
> Since you like it such a guy would be a poor match for you.
> 
> Some men might think the amount of time i spend running and cycling makes me high maintenance 😀


I once had a guy be angry and frustrated because it took me 20 minutes to go from grubby just out of the woods from a multi day hiking/canoe trip with dirt caked on various parts of my body to _showered and dressed and ready to go out the door_ to a concert in Boston. F him!!!!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> If you don't want opinions, don't ask. Does she know you plastered her mug on the internet?


It does beg the question of when something goes from an opinion one doesn't like to unacceptable judgement.

Are all disliked opinions unacceptable judgements?


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> I've been thinking about this idea that a lot of people imagine they don't look their age. We see this a lot....people imagine they look all kinds on younger if they're in any kind of decent shape.
> 
> But I've observed that this isn't true. You can take a 50 year old that's in fantastic shape and put them next to a 40 year old and it's obvious one is older.
> 
> ...


I think I look decent for my age group (I'll be 43 next month). People tell me I look younger (no crowfeet, fine lines, etc), especially when I'm not wearing makeup. I'm a bit overweight atm and it definitely ages me, but there's NO way I could pass for being in my 20's anymore and I'm not trying to either.

My mom barely has any at 70, and my grandmother had few wrinkles at 80. None of us try to "pass", we're the age we are and are comfortable with it. I haven't had cosmetic procedures except for skincare stuff (lifelong struggle with acne) but won't shame those who do. 

None of us smoked, drank or had too much sun exposure, so it could be a combination of genetics and lifestyle. For reference, we're southeast Asian (light to tan skin tone), I'm mixed with white. Certain races do age slower, I've seen older black ladies who look decades younger.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I would never ask my husband to do that. Here you can call an Uber or a cab, or you can have a friend do it, which would be my most likely choice.


You can have a friend do it here too. I have done it a few times for my friend when he had surgery. One time was really dumb, he had hernia surgery and I picked him up in my 911 which was slammed to the floor. It took him a couple minutes to even get into the car and I was thinking wow how dumb can you be?


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

I really do look much younger than I am. It's a blessing and a curse. At almost 40, I have no wrinkles or even fine lines. If I take my 14 year old daughter who looks much older out to dinner, I sometimes get asked if we are together or separate.a l also very often still get asked for ID for alcohol purchase. I am told I look mid 20s


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I really do look much younger than I am. It's a blessing and a curse. At almost 40, I have no wrinkles or even fine lines. If I take my 14 year old daughter who looks much older out to dinner, I sometimes get asked if we are together or separate.a l also very often still get asked for ID for alcohol purchase. I am told I look mid 20s


Some folks definitely look a lot younger than they are.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I really do look much younger than I am. It's a blessing and a curse. At almost 40, I have no wrinkles or even fine lines. If I take my 14 year old daughter who looks much older out to dinner, I sometimes get asked if we are together or separate.a l also very often still get asked for ID for alcohol purchase. I am told I look mid 20s


You really shouldn't have wrinkles in your late 30's anyway. Two of my children are older than you and neither have lines or wrinkles.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My ancestry on both sides is very pale with light eyes. One side had thin, dry skin and wrinkled early. The other side didn’t. I got the other side. Starting when I was very young I spent a lot of time on the beach (no sunscreen in those days) and for a number of years I was very tan for at least nine months of the year. Fortunately, it didn’t affect how my skin aged in later decades. The power of genetics.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> You can have a friend do it here too. I have done it a few times for my friend when he had surgery. One time was really dumb, he had hernia surgery and I picked him up in my 911 which was slammed to the floor. It took him a couple minutes to even get into the car and I was thinking wow how dumb can you be?


This won’t help with people’s impression that I’m a high maintenance PITA 🤪 but when I had LASIK they did insist that someone bring me, wait and take me home. They gave me Valium for the procedure and didn’t want to drug me up and send me off with a stranger. But of course I wouldn’t bother my husband with that, I asked a friend. I was crazy loopy, they said I was hilarious. H didn’t feel his Valium when he had it done until we were in the car on the way home, surgery makes him nervous.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> You really shouldn't have wrinkles in your late 30's anyway.


You make it sound like he has an option


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I would never ask my husband to do that.





TexasMom1216 said:


> But of course I wouldn’t bother my husband with that, I asked a friend.


I'm genuinely curious? 

Why would you not ask your husband to help? 

Why would this be a bother? Would he actually find this request a bother?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I really do look much younger than I am. It's a blessing and a curse. At almost 40, I have no wrinkles or even fine lines. If I take my 14 year old daughter who looks much older out to dinner, I sometimes get asked if we are together or separate.a l also very often still get asked for ID for alcohol purchase. I am told I look mid 20s


Horrah! Another babyface! 🍻


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

minimalME said:


> I'm genuinely curious?
> 
> Why would you not ask your husband to help?
> 
> Why would this be a bother? Would he actually find this request a bother?


Honestly, I don't want to be high maintenance. It's a hot button thing with me, I don't want to be needy. I take care of my own stuff. I don't ask him to do really anything that isn't related to our son and then only if I absolutely cannot do something because of work. He took him to the doctor last time, but he offered because he usually picks him up from school and the doctor is right there by the school. But I'd never ask him to do that kind of thing for me.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Honestly, I don't want to be high maintenance. It's a hot button thing with me, I don't want to be needy. I take care of my own stuff. I don't ask him to do really anything that isn't related to our son and then only if I absolutely cannot do something because of work. He took him to the doctor last time, but he offered because he usually picks him up from school and the doctor is right there by the school. But I'd never ask him to do that kind of thing for me.


Asking your husband to drive you home from surgery is viewed as high maintenance? 😳 

I just don't see that as needy at all. Truly.

To me, he should be the first person you ask. You're married.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

It is _sometimes_ hard to gauge a person age, or state of health from the outside.

A farmer or rancher may be all red and wrinkly on the outside, but healthy on the inside.

-OR-

A pretty lady might look great, but have bad kidneys, heart, or who knows?

Many of our young boys killed in Viet Nam, showed advanced artery blockage, at autopsy.

You never know.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

minimalME said:


> Asking your husband to drive you home from surgery is viewed as high maintenance?


It was brought up on this thread as something a high maintenance person does, so I guess. 😂 Apparently wearing makeup makes me high maintenance, so I have no idea where the line is any more. 🤪 I've always been really independent, I don't like to ask for help. I open my own jars and kill my own bugs, too. 🕷


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

minimalME said:


> Asking your husband to drive you home from surgery is viewed as high maintenance? 😳
> 
> I just don't see that as needy at all. Truly.
> 
> To me, he should be the first person you ask. You're married.


I will just say if my wife is going to surgery, I am driving her there, waiting until it is done, driving her home. It isn't negotiable. Same if I have procedure, she drives me there, waits, drives me home.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

minimalME said:


> Asking your husband to drive you home from surgery is viewed as high maintenance? 😳
> 
> I just don't see that as needy at all. Truly.
> 
> To me, he should be the first person you ask. You're married.


It’s a facelift not a colonoscopy….maybe that’s the difference in her eyes.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> You can have a friend do it here too. I have done it a few times for my friend when he had surgery. One time was really dumb, he had hernia surgery and I picked him up in my 911 which was slammed to the floor. It took him a couple minutes to even get into the car and I was thinking wow how dumb can you be?


You can also just stay there for however long they tell you. I've had to do that before on dental. But it might be awhile. I wouldn't want to go get in the car with an Uber driver unless it was a female all drugged up and helpless. I would take off work to do this for my friends as long as they would do the same for me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RebuildingMe said:


> You make it sound like he has an option


He made it sound as if it was pretty normal to have wrinkles in your late 30's. It's really not.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> It’s a facelift not a colonoscopy….maybe that’s the difference in her eyes.


Nope, I wouldn't ask for that either.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It was brought up on this thread as something a high maintenance person does, so I guess. 😂 Apparently wearing makeup makes me high maintenance, so I have no idea where the line is any more. 🤪 I've always been really independent, I don't like to ask for help. I open my own jars and kill my own bugs, too. 🕷


I'm afraid some people confuse "independent" and "capable" with "high maintenance," though I can't fathom why.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Nope, I wouldn't ask for that either.


I see your point on the cosmetic surgery but you should feel you can rely on your spouse for true medical needs/emergencies. That doesn’t make you high maintenance at all.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'm afraid some people confuse "independent" and "capable" with "high maintenance," though I can't fathom why.


Maybe because not every woman is independent?
And if she is, not always at all times. 

Also, women can be high maintenance in many different ways! 😑


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

I always took "High Maintenance" as meaning expensive, like she must have a new Corvette every year, or designer clothes a must.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I used to think high maintenance meant she was constantly needing things, asking for help, can't do anything on her own, just constantly helpless and needing supervision and assistance all the time. I didn't realize that liking to wear makeup made you "high maintenance." @RandomDude, I guess it's like FWB, definitions vary. It would make an interesting thread topic.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It was brought up on this thread as something a high maintenance person does, so I guess. 😂


I did not say that having your spouse help you with things is high maintenance. 

You said your "hobby" doesn't ask anything of anyone. That is what I was responding to. 

BTW, asking friends to drive you is still "asking something of someone"


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> I see your point on the cosmetic surgery but you should feel you can rely on your spouse for true medical needs/emergencies. That doesn’t make you high maintenance at all.


There’s really no difference.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> There’s really no difference.


There absolutely is. 

Right now my wife is on bed rest and at the hospital at least 3 days a week, often for several hours each time. She can drive herself but I usually do because she gets very nauseous and lightheaded. Do I think all of that makes her high maintenance? Not at all. Medical conditions are not the same as cosmetic surgery.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Back to original question, I'm almost 70, but I'm so super young looking that when you see me, my baby's fussy hair is just starting to come out.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

It's kind of funny. When I was 18 (within a couple months of 19) I had a job in a factory and when I volunteered for overtime the guy signing me up asked if I needed to let my mom know that I had to be picked up at a different time. He just assumed that I wasn't old enough to drive.

When my oldest was 14 I had taken the kids to swim practice and was working on my laptop. One of the other kids there asked if I was their dad or older brother. I was 28 when the oldest was born so I was 42 at the time.

One of the other things that was touched on was guys seeking out younger (or younger looking) women for whatever reason. I'm a bit of a counter example. My current GF has more or less salt and pepper hair and does more or less show her age. She knows what she's done and wears me out. Thoroughly. My ex was a virgin and it was fun at the time but I'm glad I won't have to go through that again.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> There’s really no difference.


That’s where we disagree.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

bobert said:


> There absolutely is.
> 
> Right now my wife is on bed rest and at the hospital at least 3 days a week, often for several hours each time. She can drive herself but I usually do because she gets very nauseous and lightheaded. Do I think all of that makes her high maintenance? Not at all. Medical conditions are not the same as cosmetic surgery.


Why would you have an issue with Texas mom having cosmetic surgery? It has no bearing on your life. Peck, Peck, Peck. 

It's really this simple. Texas mom does what she wants and you do what you want, and never the twain shall meet.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

bobert said:


> I did not say that having your spouse help you with things is high maintenance.
> 
> You said your "hobby" doesn't ask anything of anyone. That is what I was responding to.
> 
> BTW, asking friends to drive you is still "asking something of someone"


 I love it when my best friend asks me to help her take her car into the shop because that means we get to have some time together from her busy schedule.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Why would you have an issue with Texas mom having cosmetic surgery? It has no bearing on your life. Peck, Peck, Peck.
> 
> It's really this simple. Texas mom does what she wants and you do what you want, and never the twain shall meet.


If it's a boobjob I'm all for it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> If it's a boobjob I'm all for it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Like it's going to do you any good. 😂


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Why would you have an issue with Texas mom having cosmetic surgery? It has no bearing on your life. Peck, Peck, Peck.
> 
> It's really this simple. Texas mom does what she wants and you do what you want, and never the twain shall meet.


Where did I say I care what she does? Not my wife, not my problem.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> If it's a boobjob I'm all for it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


As is my husband. His WHOLE attitude changes when I tell him this will include a refresh and lift. 😂


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Like it's going to do you any good. 😂


My H says when boobs are involved, everyone wins. 🙄😉


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> If it's a boobjob I'm all for it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Reductions are jobs too 😁


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

This was a great thread idea. I too have pondered if some people that are told that they look younger has more to do with physical fitness, skin, and hair maintenance that just make us look good for our age and not necessarily younger. 

My wife and I have been told we look much younger than we are but I feel it has more to do with being fit. In my 55 year old wife’s case, she rocks her natural hair with quite a bit of gray that she is constantly getting complimented by from complete strangers. I believe that dyed hair on an older face can make a person’s face look older. If you get it done professionally, it can look good but most who just dye it on their own, look older with either super black or blonde hair that doesn’t look even remotely natural on an older face.

We men, have an advantage in that gray hair, and beard can make a guy look rugged. Of course it all depends on a person taking care of their body, skin, and hair. In my opinion, exercise and a clean diet will do way more than dyes, make up, and surgery; especially in the long run. We’ll be happier if we embrace what we are.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

jsmart said:


> hair maintenance that just make us look good for our age and not necessarily younger.


What if no hair to maintain since mid-20s?😐


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Rus47 said:


> What if no hair to maintain since mid-20s?😐


Personally, I find men who take care of themselves physically attractive regardless.

I like the wrinkles and scars and gray of aging on men.

So, bald men are quite dashing if they’re an appropriate weight and tidy. 😊


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

minimalME said:


> Personally, I find men who take care of themselves physically attractive regardless.
> 
> I like the wrinkles and scars and gray of aging on men.
> 
> So, bald men are quite dashing if they’re an appropriate weight and tidy. 😊


Weight appropriate. Not tidy 😐. Wrinkles stem to stern. Wife kinda likes me, no hair n all my many flaws, so that us all I care about. 😊


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Rus47 said:


> Not tidy 😐.


I was just thinking clean clothes. Maybe ironed. 😬😂


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Rus47 said:


> What if no hair to maintain since mid-20s?😐


Having a shaved head or very closely cropped is definitely in. At 57, I’m blessed with a full head of hair but if I had a receding hair line, I would definitely shave it.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

jsmart said:


> Having a shaved head or very closely cropped is definitely in. At 57, I’m blessed with a full head of hair but if I had a receding hair line, I would definitely shave it.


Just no comb overs. Or bald with a pony tail lol


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

minimalME said:


> I was just thinking clean clothes. Maybe ironed. 😬😂


Clean clothes and you want them ironed too. What next? A shower and brushed teeth?


----------



## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I used to think high maintenance meant she was constantly needing things, asking for help, can't do anything on her own, just constantly helpless and needing supervision and assistance all the time. I didn't realize that liking to wear makeup made you "high maintenance." @RandomDude, I guess it's like FWB, definitions vary. It would make an interesting thread topic.


High maintenance = a woman who puts much financial burden on the man for her needs even though she could be earning herself.

I love to shop for my wife - buy her cloths, cosmetics, gadgets, and even jewelry. She is *my wife* after all. But she is wise, and stops me from "overspending." Even though she is a working lady, she understands budgeting and believes in long-term beneficial investments.

The 'high maintenance' argument narrows down to the nature of relationship between a man and woman. Some men have complained that they find DATING expensive, let alone a girlfriend. It depends upon where they live, the women they have dated (or living with).

I believe that men are more eager and willing to spend on the "wife." This is the highest level of commitment that a woman can give to a man in relationship terms.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Rus47 said:


> Just no comb overs. Or bald with a pony tail lol


I think I referred to that as "stupid hair" earlier in the thread 🤣


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jsmart said:


> This was a great thread idea. I too have pondered if some people that are told that they look younger has more to do with physical fitness, skin, and hair maintenance that just make us look good for our age and not necessarily younger.
> 
> My wife and I have been told we look much younger than we are but I feel it has more to do with being fit. In my 55 year old wife’s case, she rocks her natural hair with quite a bit of gray that she is constantly getting complimented by from complete strangers. I believe that dyed hair on an older face can make a person’s face look older. If you get it done professionally, it can look good but most who just dye it on their own, look older with either super black or blonde hair that doesn’t look even remotely natural on an older face.
> 
> We men, have an advantage in that gray hair, and beard can make a guy look rugged. Of course it all depends on a person taking care of their body, skin, and hair. In my opinion, exercise and a clean diet will do way more than dyes, make up, and surgery; especially in the long run. We’ll be happier if we embrace what we are.


It does seem that people associate fit and tight with younger, as if older people can't be like that. That would certainly explain a lot of the disconnect.

I feel compelled to point out that lots of young people are neither fit nor tight, but they still certainly look young. So maybe poor self care just looks worse on older people which is logical. Life has had more years to beat you up.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It's the lack of collagen in older people's skin that gives them away. We will never have that firm, plump flesh of our youth. Developing muscles won't help with that.

I agree that when older women dye their hair that flat, stark black color or too blonde that they are doing themselves a disservice. They can wind up looking skanky.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> It does seem that people associate fit and tight with younger, as if older people can't be like that. That would certainly explain a lot of the disconnect.
> 
> I feel compelled to point out that lots of young people are neither fit nor tight, but they still certainly look young. So maybe poor self care just looks worse on older people which is logical. Life has had more years to beat you up.


I agree that a quite a bit of young people are out of shape but like Blondi says, their faces still look young. With you being a runner and a road biker, you’re probably in the top 10 percent of women for your age, which I’m sure you notice when you’re around women your age who don’t workout. Now when you’re around women who are say 10 to 15 years younger, even if your in way better shape than them, you’ll be able to see that they look younger. 

But does it really matter? I think we should embrace our age and just shoot for being the best version of ourselves without feeling inadequate because we’re no longer in our 20s. Both men and women can look good at any age but for their age. If we’re competing in looks with those who are 15 years younger, we will never be happy.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jsmart said:


> I agree that a quite a bit of young people are out of shape but like Blondi says, their faces still look young. With you being a runner and a road biker, you’re probably in the top 10 percent of women for your age, which I’m sure you notice when you’re around women your age who don’t workout. Now when you’re around women who are say 10 to 15 years younger, even if your in way better shape than them, you’ll be able to see that they look younger.
> 
> But does it really matter? I think we should embrace our age and just shoot for being the best version of ourselves without feeling inadequate because we’re no longer in our 20s. Both men and women can look good at any age but for their age. If we’re competing in looks with those who are 15 years younger, we will never be happy.


Yeah, that was my point in the original post. If I put myself next to someone 10 years younger its obvious.

But like you said, it doesn't matter. Doing things thinking you'll look all kinds of younger only makes you look ridiculous.

Take care of yourself and that's it.

On a side note, I like it when younger women are slower then me and know how old I am. I think "yeah I'm old but you still can't hang *****" 😅😅😅

I did a race a few years ago and after coming in 2nd overall women I heard a much younger girl say that when she was older she wanted a body like mine. Made my entire weekend!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> I did a race a few years ago and after coming in 2nd overall women I heard a much younger girl say that when she was older she wanted a body like mine. Made my entire weekend!


That’s awesome.

All my homies talk crap the entire time so any compliment is likely a joke. I like yoga better than boxing. You go to yoga they’re like you know what? Take a moment and thank yourself for showing up today. You’re the best! If you can’t do this flow it’s ok just breathe loud.

I asked my friend why he never thanks me for showing up and he said “go **** yourself”.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> It does seem that people associate fit and tight with younger, *as if older people can't be like that.* That would certainly explain a lot of the disconnect.


This works as long as a person can avoid injury. Us old people have arthritis in our back and knees, sometime Afib or other heart problems. Cancer. Thyroid problems. etc. etc.

The wife ran competitively for decades, she stopped two decades ago from injuries She and I still run together as exercise, but for last decade has been problematic with knee and back issues, sciatica, etc. Thankfully so far hasn't stopped us.

Father time eventually takes a toll on all of us. We can run but we can't hide.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> Father time eventually takes a toll on all of us. We can run but we can't hide.


I go with, “at least I don’t look like that guy”. However if I watch a video of me sparring when I was 35 and compare it to now, I do look like that guy. And when I was 35 if I saw me now I’d say, “at least I don’t look like that guy”. Sucks!


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

My Dad is sick. He was a workaholic and spent years exercizing only during his vacation and eating mostly restaurant food because he traveled so much. Before he got sick, he was overweight. Before he got sick, he started exercizing and lost a ton of weight, and got healthy. Now he is a lot more frail but underweight. I used to think stuff like "I wonder if I will struggle with weight too when I'm older"; I am just thankful i'm healthy. I am currently trying to lose weight to try stave off the health issues it comes with, like joint pain. But the superficial stuff, which does sometimes bother me, is less important now than it used to be.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

joannacroc said:


> My Dad is sick. He was a workaholic and spent years exercizing only during his vacation and eating mostly restaurant food because he traveled so much. Before he got sick, he was overweight. Before he got sick, he started exercizing and lost a ton of weight, and got healthy. Now he is a lot more frail but underweight. I used to think stuff like "I wonder if I will struggle with weight too when I'm older"; I am just thankful i'm healthy. I am currently trying to lose weight to try stave off the health issues it comes with, like joint pain. But the superficial stuff, which does sometimes bother me, is less important now than it used to be.


Yeah, the focus definitely shifts to health as you get older and see people around you getting sick. People you're used to seeing healthy.

I've seen so many people battle cancer. A few people I went to high school with have passed on. Both of my parents, an aunt, and uncle, and cousin have all passed from cancer (my family is small).

I'm thankful I can do the stuff I do and can take care of my house.

But I also know a bunch of older people who are doing fine with great health.  We do what we can but there is an element of luck involved.

When you think about it like this a few lines means you're lucky enough to be around to get them.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> It's the lack of collagen in older people's skin that gives them away. We will never have that firm, plump flesh of our youth. Developing muscles won't help with that.
> 
> I agree that when older women dye their hair that flat, stark black color or too blonde that they are doing themselves a disservice. They can wind up looking skanky.


When you get old, you're better off with a little weight or else the facial wrinkles get really extreme.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> When you get old, you're better off with a little weight or else the facial wrinkles get really extreme.


My cousin who has passed on was a physical therapist and had many geriatric patients told me that women with a little extra weight do a lot better in old age.

The thin ones get frail and tend to break things.

By a little I think he meant 10 pounds.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

minimalME said:


> I was just thinking clean clothes. Maybe ironed. 😬😂


What is an iron? I seem to recall using one before marrying 😐 Sometime in late 1960s


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> My cousin who has passed on was a physical therapist and had many geriatric patients told me that women with a little extra weight do a lot better in old age.
> 
> The thin ones get frail and tend to break things.
> 
> By a little I think he meant 10 pounds.


There's pluses and minuses to weight when old. My sister was obese when she went in the hospital for pancreatis, where a gall stone had fallen into her pancreas. It was a sudden onset. She was fine the day before she fell severely ill. She was too swollen and fragile to operate on for like 3-4 months. She almost died. Finally they operated on her. Meanwhile she could barely eat anything at all. She lost 80 pounds and was in hospital 6 months, didn't start feeling better until they took a chance and operated and took out the gallbladder, leaving her with a fragment of pancreas. 80 percent of those patients don't survive. If she hadn't had pounds to lose, she wouldn't have survived as long as she did. They told me that. There wouldn't have been anything to sustain her. So you just never know how it will come out. They kept insisting she must be an alcohol drinker because nearly all of those type patients are, but she wasn't at all.

Fat ones definitely break things too, though. But then that's what usually becomes of old people. Eventually, they fall and can't come back from it. I know from what I've seen with my friends (I'm 69), it seems to mostly depend on genetics. One of my friends has been a health food person her whole adult life and she is 10 years younger than me and her list of chronic illnesses is just as long as mine. Her grandma and mom had the same things, and they were ALL bone skinny and healthy eaters. Diabetes, heart issues, etc. 

Her mom raised her to eat and exercise to prevent getting the genetic stuff, but it did not work. 

My other close friend is still thin, always been about the same weight, but she has been plagued by immune issues and psoriatic arthritis for decades and is on very heavy type meds. But she can still walk quite a ways on her twisted up feet. 

Recently saw an old bf I later worked with and kept up with, and he was always very thin anyway. For the first time, to me he looks like he desperately needs to gain 20-30 pounds. He does not look good in the face. You know when you get too thin when old, your features start looking exaggerated. And his shoulders just looked so shrunken. He's just never had to worry about weight gain, and I doubt he'll eat more now that he might benefit from it. 

There's no way to beat old age, folks.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> There's no way to beat old age, folks.


My plan is when it steps forward towards me, knock it out with the check hook. This is also my plan if I ever encounter a mountain lion that tries to eat me. 🏔 🦁


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> My plan is when it steps forward towards me, knock it out with the check hook. This is also my plan if I ever encounter a mountain lion that tries to eat me. 🏔 🦁


Good luck with that.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> This is also my plan if I ever encounter a mountain lion that tries to eat me. 🏔 🦁


Really? Mine is to die ecstatic because KITTY!!!! 😂 😁 🥰


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> My plan is when it steps forward towards me, knock it out with the check hook. This is also my plan if I ever encounter a mountain lion that tries to eat me. 🏔 🦁


Make a manosphere video about fighting mountain lions and old age.😆


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Good luck with that.


I practice the check hook a lot. I am going to try it tomorrow in the gym and pretend my sparring partner is the grim reaper.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> I practice the check hook a lot. I am going to try it tomorrow in the gym and pretend my sparring partner is the grim reaper.


Wasting your time. Look at this death machine:


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Wasting your time. Look at this death machine:
> View attachment 87804


I think she looks young for her age.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> I think she looks young for her age.


She moisturizes and is very careful with her weight. When she gets to be 50 in cat years, she'll get Botox on her forehead to smooth out the worry lines. Just a little.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> My plan is when it steps forward towards me, knock it out with the check hook. This is also my plan if I ever encounter a mountain lion that tries to eat me. 🏔 🦁


David killed a lion with his bare hands years before he killed Goliath with a slingshot. He said "I caught him by his beard, and smote him, and slew him" Maybe he "smote him" with a "check hook".


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> I practice the check hook a lot. I am going to try it tomorrow in the gym and pretend my sparring partner is the grim reaper.


The problem is, death sneaks up and jumps on us when we don't expect it. I have known many who left their family in the morning to go to work, and didn't come home. They and their family thought it was just another typical day, had no idea it was their last on this planet.

But this is a detour from looking one's age, my apologies.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Rus47 said:


> The problem is, death sneaks up and jumps on us when we don't expect it. I have known many who left their family in the morning to go to work, and didn't come home. They and their family thought it was just another typical day, had no idea it was their last on this planet.
> 
> But this is a detour from looking one's age, my apologies.


But reality. I know a few that happened to.


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## Peanutbutter (Jul 21, 2011)

Both my husband & I get told we look younger but I definitely think both of us look our age (my little wrinkles, my husband's very receding hairline - general stuff for people in their late 30s early 40s)
I think most of the time people are just trying to be polite  + I agree with Divinely Favored, most kids nowadays seem to look older than what we did at their age, maybe that confuses people? 
Plus all the advances in aesthetic surgery and how easily available it is to people willing to pay a little -probably adds to the confusion.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

TexasMom1216 said:


> That whole "Daddy" thing with sex just gives me the creeps. Sadly, it seems that the majority of men prefer it. Yikes.


Ugh, not this man. I am 60 and I think the youngest I would ever date (and I hopefully never have to) would be early 50s.
20's? That's just toooooo creeepy.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> That whole "Daddy" thing with sex just gives me the creeps. Sadly, it seems that the majority of men prefer it. Yikes.


I'm a cradle robber, yet we never had that dynamic. I was simply emotionally immature and she was mature for her age so it worked out 😅


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Who knows, there are so many variables that can make you look younger or older. I shave my head now as my hair has decided to move on. If I wear a hat I look much younger than if I don't. My beard is almost all gray now, so if I grow a beard I look much older than if I am clean shaven. People frequently think I am in my early 30s (assuming I am clean shaven, hat on, and in part thanks to my physique) when I am almost 44. Grow my beard and take my hat off, 50s is fair game lol


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

EllisRedding said:


> Who knows, there are so many variables that can make you look younger or older. I shave my head now as my hair has decided to move on. If I wear a hat I look much younger than if I don't. My beard is almost all gray now, so if I grow a beard I look much older than if I am clean shaven. People frequently think I am in my early 30s (assuming I am clean shaven, hat on, and in part thanks to my physique) when I am almost 44. Grow my beard and take my hat off, 50s is fair game lol


I’ve been following and warned to add that I used to feel so self conscious about being bald and then shaving my head. But when I did not only did my wife prefer my look but I got promoted in work. She said since her father and brothers ar bald I’ve really joined the family. Then our neighbor, a young woman and her husband (also bald), said she wanted to tell me so many times that I should try the shaved look but didn’t want to offend me. She said I looked 10 years younger. I shave it every few days to keep it smooth for my wifey, who’s always kissing the top of my head. Funny what can make you look younger or older.


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> Just no comb overs. Or bald with a pony tail lol


My wife told me a woman she works with has a husband who shaves his regularly. He isn’t actually bald. So we figured he might do it due it because it the type of work he does or something. Turned out he is an analyst with a desk job. She said he’s been bald for years, right after they got married. We found it interesting. Probably very common today. I shave but due to MPB.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

EllisRedding said:


> People frequently think I am in my early 30s (assuming I am clean shaven, hat on, and in part thanks to my physique) when I am almost 44. Grow my beard and take my hat off, 50s is fair game lol


People must think I look 110. 😐


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

When I was in my 30s someone thought I was a teenager at a neighborhood party. 😀


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## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

I always looked younger than my actual age until I hit 40 and then I somehow started looking my actual age (some gray hair, laugh lines around the eyes). It was a kick in the teeth in some ways (who doesn't want to look young?) but in other ways it was a relief. I felt like people I met in workplace situations took me more seriously and gave me a little more respect once I looked 40-something than they ever had when I was in my 30s but looked 26.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Chaotic said:


> I always looked younger than my actual age until I hit 40 and then I somehow started looking my actual age (some gray hair, laugh lines around the eyes). It was a kick in the teeth in some ways (who doesn't want to look young?) but in other ways it was a relief. I felt like people I met in workplace situations took me more seriously and gave me a little more respect once I looked 40-something than they ever had when I was in my 30s but looked 26.


THIS. When I was in my 20s I was pale, somewhat curvier than the Kate Moss ideal, but blonde, and female. And that meant not many people took what I said with any degree of seriousness. I try now that I am 40 to listen to kids and young women with the respect I would have appreciated when I was in my 20s. I was not assertive. And I regularly had my ideas rephrased and restated as someone else's at work. They were listened to. I wasn't. I really enjoy at 40 the fact that people listen to me now at work.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Recently did some online lifespan estimates. The forecast was another 20-25 years 😐. A lot of my ancestors lived to 95-105, healthy the whole time. 

Dreading it. I will be scaring myself looking in the mirror!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Rus47 said:


> Recently did some online lifespan estimates. The forecast was another 20-25 years 😐. A lot of my ancestors lived to 95-105, healthy the whole time.
> 
> Dreading it. I will be scaring myself looking in the mirror!


I don't know...this guy is holding up ok.https://www.columbusnavigator.com/birthday-cards-for-100-year-old-ohioOK.

What amazing stories he must have!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't know...this guy is holding up ok.https://www.columbusnavigator.com/birthday-cards-for-100-year-old-ohioOK.
> 
> What amazing stories he must have!


He looks good for his age!


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## Jimmysgirl (9 mo ago)

We live in an she where middle aged women are addicted to filters. If they didn't look their age they probably wouldn't use them.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> He looks good for his age!


Only picture I saw was from WW2, when he was young man


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rus47 said:


> Only picture I saw was from WW2, when he was young man


The first picture was of him with a young man.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> The first picture was of him with a young man.


The young man is his grandson.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> The young man is his grandson.


Yes.


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## prepedignahar (4 mo ago)

There are things about our appearance we can control, and there’s something we cannot. for instance, we can choose clothes to wear, and in this regard, some people don’t look their age. I mainly mean older people are dressing up as teenagers. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it just looks confusing. 
On the other hand, there is stuff like hair loss that most people cannot really control, and I think it’s fine not to be ashamed of it. It doesn’t mean you’re old; it’s just genes. Some people fight aging by using the services of denverfacialplastics.com or other surgeons, and it does help to change your appearance. But the most important thing is what you think about yourself.


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