# Mother in-law problem, or my problem?



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

So my mother in-law over all has been very nice to me and understanding. I normally am fairly positive minded towards her. But im also wary. She thinks i lie to her about my kids health, or my own. She gives me feelings of disingenuous love and i have never been able to give her genuine love as a result. I am wary of her. 

Well... Recently her brother (a pedophile who screwed around with his sisters adult daughter [my husbands sister]...still with me?) He also molested, and maybe more with his own underaged daughter. 

He went to prison for a few years and is now out but struggling. 

Now for present time: 

Mother in-law and step-father in-law in an economic bind move in with my mother in laws own mother while they close on a house they are buying from another family member. They have been living there for many months. (So my husbands grandmother)

Now so the pedophile son (who somehow does not have a rule about being around kids???) has now moved on to the property and is living in a trailer in back. 

So the conflict is this... My mother in-law thinks we dont trust them to have the grand kids over. That we dont trust that they can take care of our boys around A KNOWN AND ADMITTED CHILD MOLESTER! 

Now my husband has been good about putting his foot down but now his mom is angry...not talking to us. 

I mean her own daughter was abused by this man...She is willing to live with him on the same square patch of land... Of COURSE i question! 

This is really causing problems because the kids love their grandparents and over all they are WONDERFUL...but on this it's painfully disrespectful to constantly push us on our boundaries in regards to this sick man. 

I dont know how to move on from this without it getting MUCH more ugly.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Why not suggest that the grandparents spend time with the kids anywhere but there?? 

At your house? Somewhere fun? Anywhere but there.

If they refuse, if they won't understand...then no kids. YOU are the parent doing what is right for your children. This is a battle worth fighting.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

*ABSOLUTELY NEVER SHOULD YOUR CHILDREN GO THERE AS LONG AS SHE IS HARBORING A PEDOPHILE.*

She can be mad all she wants.

*She* has made this choice. She has chosen a child rapist over her own Grandsons.
Even if he leaves, I would never trust her with my children again. When she has them, will she take them to visit this miscreant behind your back? 

She is not willing to protect your children, but you _*MUST.*_


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

SunnyT said:


> Why not suggest that the grandparents spend time with the kids anywhere but there??
> 
> At your house? Somewhere fun? Anywhere but there.
> 
> If they refuse, if they won't understand...then no kids. YOU are the parent doing what is right for your children. This is a battle worth fighting.


You see, we have. This last saturday we called to offer for them to watch the kids at our house while WE go to a hotel.... this conversation sparked yet another attempt to get us to let them take the kids to the grandparents/greatgrandparents house.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

What do you want more?

The appreciation and respect from your MIL or her contempt by doing what you know to be the right thing?

Blood is thicker than water. You're witnessing it first hand. Believe it and act accordingly with no regrets.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

But the mother in law is betraying her own blood daughter, her son and her grandson... I don't need to say a word. My husband is as adamant as i am on the matter. I just don't know how to do this without going months not talking to them. 

Trouble is we dont even know if the sister inlaw knows about the parents living there with the uncle who abused her. And her being newly pregnant we dont want to upset her since she is high risk... I just feel like she needs to know! But! is it our place to blab. 

This is just so weird and complicated and i struggle having ANY respect for my mother in law now. I dont care for her acceptance of me anymore...I did. But my kids still love her, and the step dad. 

This is a weird place to be in. We were all once a very tight family with sunday dinners and holidays together... But so much has changed.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

threelittlestars said:


> But the mother in law is betraying her own blood daughter, her son and her grandson... I don't need to say a word. My husband is as adamant as i am on the matter. I just don't know how to do this without going months not talking to them.
> 
> Trouble is we dont even know if the sister inlaw knows about the parents living there with the uncle who abused her. And her being newly pregnant we dont want to upset her since she is high risk... I just feel like she needs to know! But! is it our place to blab.
> 
> ...


It's a tough spot to be in for sure.
Part of the difficulty seems to be knowing what you should do or say. I believe in the truth, even if it destroys relationships with others and puts me on a **** list. I sleep fine at night. I guess it's just how I've learned to be. 

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, you must do what you feel is right and accept that there could be permanent, negative consequences. Either way. 

In this life we can't always juggle every relationship. Some of them we must willingly let drop to keep those we care about (or find more worthy) in the air.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Cut them out of your life. Your husband knows it is the right thing to do. You shouldn't feel bad about it. She has chosen this hill to die on, and die on it she will. The death being your families relationship with her. So be it. Your kids will be just fine without them in their lives anyway. This won't leave any long lasting damage on them. Simply cut her out of your life. Really this is her doing, you are just putting the nail in the coffin.


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## PatJourno (Dec 24, 2017)

Your children's safety is important. Your mother-in-law must understand this.

Why can't she spend time with the kids elsewhere especially at these initial stages?


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

I have really got enough going on in my life right now with my great aunt dying... She is my defacto grandmother. 

I am just so angry...sad...confused...How can she think she is right? It boggles me.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

threelittlestars said:


> Just to clarify SHE the mother in law has not right to allow him or not allow him on the property. She is being allowed to stay as well by word of HER mother. So this is the GREAT grandmothers property and the two people are her son and daughter. daughter is mother in law. Son is pedophile. So honestly mother in law has not right to not allow or allow anything. But she was there first before the brother/son/pedophile was invited to squat at the back of the lot. Not acreage.
> 
> Honestly...YOU GUYS DONT GET MY QUESTION. how to tactfully navigate this problem without cutting them out of the kids lives. Not to allow the kids to go to smooth things over. I am not trying to placate them but i am trying to navigate this tactfully. HONESTLY how can i not be offended that you seem to think me stupid? WTH...do you know how to advise? or just criticize?
> 
> ...


Please stop shouting and name calling people who are trying to help you. Nobody thinks you are stupid but when in laws are emotionally blackmailing family members its sometimes easier just to let them have their way for a quiet life. 

I think what people are puzzled about is why you need to navigate anything. They are your kids and you get to call the shots - there is nothing to navigate as long as you are polite and involve her in areas of your life that are a safe environment. 

Your MIL needs to get over HER ego issues and if she honestly thinks that the whole thing is about HER and trust you have in her then she doesn't have logical thinking. You politely take control and if her feelings are a little hurt then well....its tough...she will get over it. I'm not sure you can do anything other than invite her over and spend time together away from her home. You can have her babysit in an evening in the confines of your house or you could share a meal together. If that is not enough for her then there is not a lot you can do about it. 

My MIL does not have unsupervised access to my children because she was doing highly dangerous things with them and stubbornly refused to take instruction from us - so the consequence was supervised visits only. My children came first and her feelings were very hurt, but she eventually got over it.


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## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

I don't see how anyone here DIDN'T GET your question. Everyone was clear that if the MIL won't come see your kids elsewhere, you keep them away from her. DO NOT allow your kids on that property unless they are in your sight the entire time. There's no way around it. 

Who's a terd?




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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

So I was a little confused. Did the brother abuse young children or the adult daughter of his sister? Whose children did he abuse?
Usually if a man has sexually abused children he will be on the sex offenders register(in the Uk anyway) for a certain number of years, or for life if its serious enough. Then he isn't permitted to be near children. 

You have offered to have them at your house, so not sure what else you can do except if you ask them for days out together with your children. I am guessing this will not be for much longer, once they get their house it wont be an issue any more.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

This is the type of issue requires little thought and certainly no ongoing dialogue. You have no reason to question your decision or compromise in anyway. "No, the kids will never go to your house as long as a pedophile is living at the same property" is all that should need to be said about it. 

You gave her the option of seeing the kids at your place, if she refuses that's her problem, you need to remain firm regardless of her anger or attempts to bully and manipulate. Frankly at this point I wouldn't even let her take the kids anywhere or leave her alone at your house with the kids, good chance she would end up taking them to her place just to be belligerent about it.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

You can tell your MIL that it isn't that you don't trust her to keep your children safe, it's that you don't want to ever be in the position of being accused of child endangerment. It takes the personal out of the equation.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I have never, ever, ever heard of a convicted pedophile having free reign over his surroundings after he serves his sentence. There are usually restrictions in place, for instance, cannot live or go by a school within 500 feet, Etc. Did he actually go to prison for charges of pedophilia? Or were the charges entirely different? I can't tell from your OP.

You said he had sex with his sisters adult daughter. That's not pedophilia, it is incest. Were the charges related to his molesting his underage daughter?

Regardless though, if you and your husband are not comfortable with your kids being in his proximity, there is no tactful way to do this. If your mother-in-law can't understand that, then that is on her. Thank goodness you and your husband have a united front about this. I think the situation sucks all the way around, there is no graceful way to handle this considering your mother-in-law's stance.

you have even given her alternatives to visit your children but she refused. To me, the buck stops there.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You *can't* navigate this -- that's the point posters are trying to make -- because she has chosen to be unreasonable. Maybe she will eventually change her mind. Or not. But it's on her to make that move -- not on you to try to figure out how to navigate this.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

threelittlestars said:


> Honestly...YOU GUYS DONT GET MY QUESTION. how to tactfully navigate this problem without cutting them out of the kids lives. Not to allow the kids to go to smooth things over. I am not trying to placate them but i am trying to navigate this tactfully.
> 
> ... so please stop being a terd.


Exercise some tact yourself please.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

threelittlestars said:


> Well... Recently her brother (a pedophile who screwed around with his sisters adult daughter [my husbands sister]...still with me?) He also molested, and maybe more with his own underaged daughter.
> 
> He went to prison for a few years and is now out but struggling. =


Could you please clarify some things?
You say that he screwed around with his sister’s adult daughter. That does not make him a pedophile. If she consented and was an adult, then it was consensual. How old was he at the time and how old was the adult daughter? Since this woman was his niece, it was inappropriate for BOTH of them.

You say that he molested his under aged daughter. What does his daughter say happen? How did you find out that he molested her?

What did he go to prison for? It is not clear what he went to prison for.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

threelittlestars said:


> Just to clarify SHE the mother in law has not right to allow him or not allow him on the property. She is being allowed to stay as well by word of HER mother. So this is the GREAT grandmothers property and the two people are her son and daughter. daughter is mother in law. Son is pedophile. So honestly mother in law has not right to not allow or allow anything. But she was there first before the brother/son/pedophile was invited to squat at the back of the lot. Not acreage.


The above paragraph no understandable. Could you please rewrite is in a more clear fashion? Who has no right to allow what? Are you saying that you inlaws have no right to allow their son to live in the trailer on the lot?




threelittlestars said:


> Honestly...YOU GUYS DONT GET MY QUESTION. how to tactfully navigate this problem without cutting them out of the kids lives. Not to allow the kids to go to smooth things over. I am not trying to placate them but i am trying to navigate this tactfully. HONESTLY how can i not be offended that you seem to think me stupid? WTH...do you know how to advise? or just criticize?


The tactful way to do this is that if your child visit your in-laws, you and/or your husband must be there with them and have your eye on them all the time. Try to do it when your BIL is not around.

Otherwise, your in-laws are welcome to visit with your children at your home, or to take them out to places like restaurants, museums, etc. without the BIL around.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> You can tell your MIL that it isn't that you don't trust her to keep your children safe, it's that you don't want to ever be in the position of being accused of child endangerment. It takes the personal out of the equation.


THIS IS THE TECHNICAL ARGUMENT I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT COULD'NT THINK OF! :nerd::x


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

lucy999 said:


> I have never, ever, ever heard of a convicted pedophile having free reign over his surroundings after he serves his sentence. There are usually restrictions in place, for instance, cannot live or go by a school within 500 feet, Etc. Did he actually go to prison for charges of pedophilia? Or were the charges entirely different? I can't tell from your OP.
> 
> You said he had sex with his sisters adult daughter. That's not pedophilia, it is incest. Were the charges related to his molesting his underage daughter?
> 
> ...



To be honest i dont know what charges exactly but he went to prison for messing with his 13 year old daughter and had been for YEARS, we did not know. 

When that truth came out the sister in-law who has serious emotional issues admitted that she did things with him as an adult. BUT she misses large memories in her past from back when this guy lived with them when my husband was a kid. 

He preys on girls, i have three boys... But tastes can change. 
Also, my sister in law has some majorly deep seated problems and he took advantage of that. 

As to the laws about being around children I dont if he is on a sex offender registry. I normaly would imagine he is, but it does not seem to be so.... 

He was in prison for about 8 years, maybe 9. So it was a fairly long sentence for NOT molesting anyone if he was not charged for that.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> The above paragraph no understandable. Could you please rewrite is in a more clear fashion? Who has no right to allow what? Are you saying that you inlaws have no right to allow their son to live in the trailer on the lot?
> 
> 
> 
> ...




What i am saying is my kids grandparents have no right to allow or not allow the pedophile because it is not their house, their land, nor do they currently pay rent while their own house closes in january. Its the GREAT grandmothers house and her own pedophile son SHE allows to live there. (So you see...the grandparents of my son do not own or rent and would be homeless if they were kicked out.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Call the Police, call CPS.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Call the Police, call CPS.



Why? if there are not kids around him? Or calling can i get information about what his charges and rules are? Even if he has no protective orders THERE IS NO WAY im allowing the kids going.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Not sure how deep you want to dig, but some district courts on their websites, have a public access records option. You could try doing a search for his name to see what pops up, if that is available. Or you could go to the prison's website and see if they have something similar. if those options are not available, perhaps you could call the clerk's office of the district court in the county in which he was convicted And see what they can tell you.

the first two options were not available to me when I recently found out my former abusive boyfriend got arrested for strangling and beating His then-girlfriend. I simply called the clerk's office and gave them his name. She told me everything I wanted to know. , if my understanding is correct, those types of records are public.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

threelittlestars said:


> Why? if there are not kids around him? Or calling can i get information about what his charges and rules are? Even if he has no protective orders THERE IS NO WAY im allowing the kids going.


To protect other people's children?

They need to know where this dangerous man is living.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

You just need to go to the district court house where he was sentenced and you'll be able to get the records. It's all public records. If you don't want to put a lot of work into it, hire a PI and they will get you the charges and court documents. Find out exactly what he was imprisoned for. You might actually find out he shouldn't be anywhere near children and could go back to prison. Get the facts, it will probably help you. But needless, the kids don't to over there and will not be anywhere near his vicinity.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Check to see if he’s on the national sex offender registry.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

threelittlestars said:


> What i am saying is my kids grandparents have no right to allow or not allow the pedophile because it is not their house, their land, nor do they currently pay rent while their own house closes in january. Its the GREAT grandmothers house and her own pedophile son SHE allows to live there. (So you see...the grandparents of my son do not own or rent and would be homeless if they were kicked out.


It seems that the owner of the property is allowing them to have their son stay on the property. It's not your business whether or not the person who owns the property allows the son to stay there.

Your issue is that you and your husband rightfully do not want your children to visit their grandparents as long as their pedophile uncle is living there. And that's actually easy to solve. You don't let your children visit their grandparent's home unless you and/or your husband are present.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

GuyInColorado said:


> You just need to go to the district court house where he was sentenced and you'll be able to get the records. It's all public records. If you don't want to put a lot of work into it, hire a PI and they will get you the charges and court documents. Find out exactly what he was imprisoned for. You might actually find out he shouldn't be anywhere near children and could go back to prison. Get the facts, it will probably help you. But needless, the kids don't to over there and will not be anywhere near his vicinity.


I agree with this. You need to find out exactly what he was convicted of doing.


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## tom72 (Nov 4, 2017)

Doesn't matter who it is. if your not comfortable with your children being somebody around that you don't trust, don't let them go near the person


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

First off, I need to apologize. Super sensitive subject from helping a few sets of friends cope with the fallout from these exact scenarios. I wasn’t using caps at you, I understood that you were not going to let them near him. I did misunderstand, thinking that it was their house. My bad on that!

What I was trying to get across is that no matter what, you are never going to approve of letting your sons go near a pedophile. And your MIL needs to clearly understand. I was talking more to her than you! I’m sorry for helping get this thread off to a rough start.

On a side note:
I know of someone who used the reasoning that the pedophile “liked girls, not boys so why couldn’t their sons come near him?” Then I heard in court from a family court judge that, yes, most pedophiles do have preferences...like we may prefer a blonde with blue eyes, but could easily be attracted to a brunette too...that they may prefer girls, but a boy will do just fine too. He said with grey hair and decades of experience, “Don’t let your kids knowingly near a pedophle folks. It’s Russian roulette, and your kid will get shot.”

I lived by that, as did my mom and dad. I was unscathed so were my kids, thank god!

You are a great mama...you’ve got this. I would leave it to your husband to reason with them. It’s easier to forgive blood (him) than an In-law (you). We are the “Outlaws” :wink2:


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Still have not heard from the In-laws. Almost a week ago we gave them the option to stay at our house and be with the kids and they said they would get back to us and hung up. We have not talked to them since... It is very uncomfortable knowing SHE is angry at us...It's uncomfortable that the kids as, "When are we going to see grandma and granddad?" and not have an answer. 

This has me to a point that i just might have to not let them have the kids anymore.... Period. Regardless of them moving away from this problematic living situation. 

Im pretty angry that it has been MANY days and they have not so much as called.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

threelittlestars said:


> Still have not heard from the In-laws. Almost a week ago we gave them the option to stay at our house and be with the kids and they said they would get back to us and hung up. We have not talked to them since... It is very uncomfortable knowing SHE is angry at us...It's uncomfortable that the kids as, "When are we going to see grandma and granddad?" and not have an answer.
> 
> This has me to a point that i just might have to not let them have the kids anymore.... Period. Regardless of them moving away from this problematic living situation.
> 
> Im pretty angry that it has been MANY days and they have not so much as called.


The most important aspect in this situation is the safety of your children.You have done exactly what was needed to make it clear to your in laws that you don’t want a convicted child molester near your children and if they have a problem with that then that’s exactly what it is,their problem.
They are playing a version of who will blink first.Let them play all they want.
In fact I would be worried about their lackadaisical attitude to the safety of anyone’s children around their son,so maybe you shouldn’t allow them unsupervised contact at all.
In fact I would strongly recommend you let them know this.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

threelittlestars said:


> You see, we have. This last saturday we called to offer for them to watch the kids at our house while WE go to a hotel.... this conversation sparked yet another attempt to get us to let them take the kids to the grandparents/greatgrandparents house.


Your in-laws are clearly in denial about the situation. They cannot be trusted to keep the kids away from him. It's not that they don't have the boy's best interest at heart. It's that they are in serious denial about the entire situation, which is probably a way to cope with the fact that he molested their daughter. Until or unless they recognize and admit that the uncle is a danger, your boys are not safe with their grandparents. It's sad, but true.

Better angry grandparents and safe children than happy grandparents and molested children.



threelittlestars said:


> But the mother in law is betraying her own blood daughter, her son and her grandson... I don't need to say a word. My husband is as adamant as i am on the matter. I just don't know how to do this without going months not talking to them.
> 
> Trouble is we dont even know if the sister inlaw knows about the parents living there with the uncle who abused her. And her being newly pregnant we dont want to upset her since she is high risk... I just feel like she needs to know! But! is it our place to blab.
> 
> ...


The sister in law needs to know. If you have information that is important to her, your husband should tell her. This is a serious issue, not some little family squabble that's only between you and your in-laws. This is a matter of not keeping dangerous secrets.

You didn't complicate this. Your in-laws have. This is not on you at all. You and your husband are doing the right thing. You cannot make your in-laws speak to you or resolve this. The ball is in their court. If they refuse to face the truth and behave in a reasonable manner there is nothing you can do to resolve the problem, because the problem isn't with you. You can only resolve your own problems not someone else's.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

We’re talking 30 days or less. They need to get over it. You need to assert your control as the parent whether it be this situation or extra ice cream before bed. They need to respect your word as a parent. 

Let them simmer. They will get over it. And mostly...stop letting them create drama for you and your family. 

I do not come from a good family but I always remind my children that we can be the beginning of a new and better family. Toxicity is toxicity. Break the chain. 


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

I would think that the uncle is barred from being around children. You should be able to get this information. If he is around children, he should be reported.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

threelittlestars said:


> Still have not heard from the In-laws. Almost a week ago we gave them the option to stay at our house and be with the kids and they said they would get back to us and hung up. We have not talked to them since... It is very uncomfortable knowing SHE is angry at us...It's uncomfortable that the kids as, "When are we going to see grandma and granddad?" and not have an answer.
> 
> This has me to a point that i just might have to not let them have the kids anymore.... Period. Regardless of them moving away from this problematic living situation.
> 
> Im pretty angry that it has been MANY days and they have not so much as called.


I dealt with this in my first M with my FMIL. Isn’t it just *amazing* how it is all YOUR fault, and they couldn’t possibly be wrong??!?!

I would have you and your husband say the identical thing to either of them:

“Our children will never be knowingly allowed near a pedophile. This is NOT up for discussion.”

Then you must NOT discuss it. When they try, you never waiver....”As I said before...our children will never be knowingly allowed near a pedophile. This is NOT up for discussion. I’ve warned you once, now twice. Don’t push me to three times.” Make believers out of them. You are SO right to be angry. Protect dem babes, just like your instinct is telling you too Mama!

If they won’t comply, how could you ever presume that in the future they will protect your boys?


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Mu mum who I have confided in is enraged. Her brothers, my uncles... all three of them are convicted sex offenders. So my mom is empathetic and sympathetic to my Mother in-laws situation but does not agree. She shielded me completely from my sex offender uncles, and I agree with what she did. Having had brothers in the system she has taken his name and info down and has agreed to find out the information for me since I am rather busy and my mom is a self delegated busy body. Lol. Love her. 

So without too much time i should know what he exactly went in for. 
and anything else of note.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

My mom found some news articles and a wrap sheet for him, and his ex wife the mother of his daughter. But we did not find what level sex offender he was but he was found guilty of like 16 counts against a minor under the age of 14. So, pretty bad. 

Im sure legally my kids are not supposed to be there and that will be our argument. If we are informed he is a low level it wont matter in the least to us. They are not going.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you checked any sex offender lists? 

Do you which court he was tried and convicted in? If you do, you can go to the clerk of the court and ask for the trail records. You can even get a copy of them. 

I'm glad that you are protecting your kids. Your in-laws are just going to have to face the sad truth about their son.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Have you checked any sex offender lists?
> 
> Do you which court he was tried and convicted in? If you do, you can go to the clerk of the court and ask for the trail records. You can even get a copy of them.
> 
> I'm glad that you are protecting your kids. Your in-laws are just going to have to face the sad truth about their son.



The court he was tried in was in Corvalis Oregon, we live in another state and cannot travel there. But i will let my mom know about contacting the clerk there. We only found this other info by internet search, and to be honest the news articles about this incident is enough to turn most peoples stomachs....


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

https://www.nsopw.gov

Hope that link works. 


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

threelittlestars said:


> The court he was tried in was in Corvalis Oregon, we live in another state and cannot travel there. But i will let my mom know about contacting the clerk there. We only found this other info by internet search, and to be honest the news articles about this incident is enough to turn most peoples stomachs....


Most courts in the country have an online site that has a way to order documents. Often the court documents have very little detail in them. They are most likely not going to have a lot of details about what he did. But what they will have is his sentence and whether or not he's supposed to be on some kind of sex offender list. You need to find out what list he is on.. he surely is supposed to be on a sex offender register. And you will most likely find out the restrictions that he has to be living under.

One thing that you might want to tell your in-laws is that if you allow your children to be on that property, it might end up violating the rules he needs to live by. It could send him back to prison if the authorities find out that he is living where he has access to children.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Just had another thought about my above post...

If your BIL is supposed to stay away from children, and your in-laws have your children on the property, I wonder if they could be charged with aiding a child molester get access to children. You might want to check that out too and talk to your in-laws about the idea that you are also protecting them from ending up in legal trouble.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Just had another thought about my above post...
> 
> 
> 
> If your BIL is supposed to stay away from children, and your in-laws have your children on the property, I wonder if they could be charged with aiding a child molester get access to children. You might want to check that out too and talk to your in-laws about the idea that you are also protecting them from ending up in legal trouble.




That was my initial thought as well. It should be easy to find out if he is on the national registry by clicking the link I posted above. 


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The molester is her husband's uncle - her MIL's brother.


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

Apparently they do not want to acknowledge the serious problem and danger. Having grandma over your house, or somewhere else without the threat seems quite reasonable.


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