# Home or Away



## Nikki195 (Sep 15, 2010)

I am an american raised in Oregon. I moved to England to be with my husband 4 years ago, during my first 5 month visit i got pregnant with our now 3 year old daughter. i went back to the states to sort my visa application out. then i came back to england to give birth. but i kind of wish i would have given birth to our daughter in Oregon when i had the chance. my parents have never met my little girl. my dad only has a year left until he's gone. and i'm not happy hre in england. i love my husband. ut i know we're struggling bad and i just dont see how we're going to succeed together. i feel like maybe i should go back to oregon because i have opportunities there for a decent job, and i have full family support. but i dont want to leave my daughter behind, i feel like i might have to tho. any suggestions?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Have you talked to your husband about how you feel?


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## Nikki195 (Sep 15, 2010)

I am considering on talking to him today. i just dont know how to approach him on the subject. i am alittle nervous on his reaction because i know he isnt going to exactly be thrilled. it'll break his heart. but we're never gonna succeed, we'll never have our own place.i just think its easier for both of us


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

If you feel you are never gonna succeeed, then you won't. 

It's very self-defeating to think that way.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Don't try to wrap up all the issues in this. Right now, you are grieving because you know you will lose your dad. Wanting to have time with him and your family at such a time is very, very normal. Can your H take a leave of absense from work for several months? You could go and get settled and get a job, set up a home, have him and your daughter come after a couple of months, and live there together to see how it goes-you have certainly tried to make a go of it in England, so now he can try in the U.S. Either way, you are close to your family. I would really discourage you from making any permanent decisions now--you may well be depressed. Try to make one change and see if that helps, and give yourself time after your dad passes, too, to adjust again.

I'm sorry for the loss you are facing. God bless.


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## Nikki195 (Sep 15, 2010)

Yes i am grieving because i know that my dad is gonna pass away not too long and at the moment my heart has been aching to see him and mom..my mother sits down every morning wondering if shes ever gonna see me and my daughter.i booked a ticket to oregon yesterday, i'm going to stay there for just over 2 weeks. i was gonna stay for 3 weeks but my husband reminded me that our anniversary was around that time so i made sure i arrived back on the day. he is now really upset with me because he accuses me of not caring about us as a married couple because of a simple miscalculation and the fact that i forgot for a split second.


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## Nikki195 (Sep 15, 2010)

and no unfortunately my husband cannot take any leave because earlier this year he broke his foot and because hes not entitled to sick leave. so he had to use his vacation time for his foot. and even if he did have a few weeks of vacation we wouldnt be able to go together anyway because hes banned off the visa waiver program. we tried applying for a b2 visa we had everything sorted all we needed to get was a police record which cost 35.00 and then send off the application and wait for a decision but he gave up on it. so we never did it.


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