# Considering Divorce & I need an HO from 3rd party



## YingandYang (Jun 13, 2012)

Glad I had stumbled upon this little gem of a site. Now to the story.

Met my wife right after HS though a friend. We have had our ups and downs but always stuck together. By year 3 we decided to move in together and got engaged by year 4 but in the same year her mother passed and it threw her into a depression. From there her sex drive went completely down the tubes. At one point we stopped having sex for nearly 6 months. But I decided to stick with her and work through her depression. 

As year 6 came about it seemed like her depression was at a reasonable state and we decided to get married and purchased a house. After the honeymoon was over we seemed to be fighting even more than usual but always forgave each other and worked it out. But then the sex drive went down the shoot again. I was trying to be romantic like taking her to nice places just the two of us, giving her compliments, and tried to seduce her on times I thought would be appropriate. As time goes by she tried to be intimate with me but it seem like she was making excuses stating her depression made her not have a sex drive. I told her that she needs to see a therapist to resolve her issues with her mothers passing. Which she did a couple of times than gave up and stated "I am better". My thoughts were "ok!" so lets get our marriage back in the fun zone. 

But things stayed the same and I unfortunately was frustrated from the lack of being intimate and ended up fighting more with her. I tried to get her to go back to counseling but was unable to convince her to go. My thought though was I made a commitment and said my vows and will stick through no matter what. (Sorry as my mind is in a rut from all the stress it is very hard to type down what is going through in my head) 

After our 1 year anniversary I thought things were back on track and we were doing awesome. We did a lot of fun things together but ended up find out that it was all temporary. About 3 months ago she stated she wanted a divorce and I was crushed. I was doing everything I could to state that I wanted to be with her and work things out (go to counseling, work on my flaws, etc.) I asked her was there someone else and she stated no. Later on during that week she decided to come home and work things out. 

I thought everything was fine but she was still acting distant. I even gave a go at trying to seduce her but failed. So that day I decided to go get us some lunch from one of our favorite restaurants. She had blocked in my car and I decided to use hers. As I jumped in I saw what destroyed me. A morning after pill. As I knew we haven't has sex for 4 months at this point that she had to have committed adultery. I brought the box up in a calmly manner and asked her. She admitted to it. I was heart broken. Here I was trying to work things out and she has sex with another guy that she met at a friends birthday party. This was the same party that there were suppose to be no guys and I wasn't allowed to go. Ever since I caught her I have been trying to piece my life back together. She stated she wants to work things out and go to counseling. Now to this week. I had turned on my Ipad to do my usual cruising on facebook and she was logged in. Right before my eyes is her being friends with the guy that she had an affair with. I ended up checking the date on when they became friends again and it states this month. I called her out on it she blew up on me so I told her to leave.

Now I have no idea what to do and with my huge amounts of anxiety. I am beyond stressed and I need an HO if it is even worth saving this marriage or should I move on. Sorry if this is way too long. I figured I should vent everything.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

you may consider reposting in the coping with infidelity section, lots of people therhe who have gone thru similar situations

also read the newbie link in my signature


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I'm very sorry for what you are going through. You will get a lot of good advice and support here.

So you are what, 22 or so? Honestly, I'd just chalk it up to youth and poor decisions and I would move on, but that's a decision that only you and your wife can make.

Good luck to you. Oh, and just a tip, paragraphs will make your post much easier to read, which will garner more comments.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Yeah, it would be best if a mod could move this to CWI.

Please?


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## YingandYang (Jun 13, 2012)

Sorry Iamaga! Tried my best to put it into paragraphs. I am 26.


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