# What would you do???



## lady323 (Nov 12, 2010)

Found this site so figured I would post me dilemma....

I am 50 years old and have been married for 4 years. This is my first marriage and his third and I thought I found my soul mate. We met online about 9 years ago. He moved into the house about 7 years ago. My question is that once we got married he seemed to have changed but has told me I have changed and making the comment that I don't even know who he is. 

Some background: He hasn't worked full time since he moved hear but he did take a loan out of his savings to do some major renovations ($15OK) on the house. We went through a rough patch a year after we were married in which he left for overseas to stay with family and over that time he had asked for the $$ back that he put into the house. I thought if I paid him back things would get better. Unfortunately I was only able get $130K for a 2nd mortage and gave that to him. He came back first and then I gave him the $$. A few months later he was asking when was I going to put him on the deed, stupid of me did but figured if we did divorce he would get half of the house regardless due to Massachusetts laws. Anyway things were good for a while but then him talking online/calling his friends (who all happen to be females) took a toll on me and I finally asked why would he need to talk to someone 5-6x a day and his response is why would that bother me as if I trusted him I shouldn't mind and if he was going to fool around I would know about. 

The kicker is I love this guy but I'm not sure he still loves me. I am somewhat insecure and I want to go back to the time where I felt he had me on a pedalstal and would do anything for me. I'm not sure he would nowadays. I'm sure I'm leaving alot of information out but I just feel so emotionall drained and numb because he is now away for job interview and he hasn't told me where he's staying (I asked him where he was staying before he left and he said he didn't know) and everytime I try to call it goes to voicemail and he has said he's having problems and doesn't have roaming (he's in canada) . We have talked via emails in which he said if he gets the job he'll stay up there until after the first of the year. Is that his way of leaving? 

What would you do? Give up and move on? I feel if he wants the divorce he should file...

The kicker is I trust him but am I just being stupid and in a fantasy world where I am waiting for him to come back???

Sorry for the rambling.....


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