# Don't know what to make of this!



## Sheseverything2me (Feb 11, 2009)

My wife and I of 2 years are currently separated (non-legally). I have been staying with my sister for the past two weeks. We talk daily, sometimes twice and we have seen each other numerous times. All of those times have gone well. While life certainly wasn't what we would have liked it to have been, it certainly could have been worse. There was no drugs, alcohol, abuse, cheating (that I know of) etc...She has even sent me texts that say "you complete me" and "I love being in your arms". Yet when I tell her I want to work things out and that I am committed to making it work she says in response "I think it will" or "I hope so". Also she did state that it was OK with her of I dated while we were separated and if she did it would only be a dinner date...nothing else. She says she wants me to ensure she is the one for me. That bothers me. She now wants to make it legal and spend a year apart.

What do you think of this entire situation? I am getting such mixed signals I don't know what to make of it...

By the way she was 18 when we got together and I was 25...


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

It sure does sound like mixed signals. I would venture to guess, since she is young, that marriage has given her second thoughts...either not what she thought it would be or that she might be missing out on her youth (if she has many single friends that seem to be having fun)

Just be open and clear about the boundaries for the separation. Casual dating can easily lead one or both of you into an emotional attachment to someone else and what then? It's likely one of you would want to change the rules at this point and reconciling will be less likely. Unfortunately, it sounds like she wants to do what she should have done before entering into a marriage commitment, but I'm not sure there's much you can do at this point.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i think she is dating other people. you need to ask her out right what shes doing.


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## AnnaW (Feb 18, 2009)

There also may be trust issues. I only say that because when my husband and I were separated (years ago) we got along fine when we were apart. I was afraid that if we got back together things would go back to being as bad as they were before. And that was the only reason I had any reservations.


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