# hmmmm help quick



## mitchard83 (May 29, 2014)

Soo I just received a letter in the mail from my ex saying she misses me and that she is sorry for all the pain she caused. I filled for divorce a couple of months ago and the finalization is set for the 25 of august 2014. My question is. It sounds like she wants to come home. I can still stop the divorce. Would it be wise to let her come back? Or just let her go. 

Back story we were married in 09. She left me beginning of 14, for another guy, this other guy wasn't the proverbial grass is greener. So I still love her but know that letter her back would give her reason to think it is ok to leave for 7 months and come back. Any advice is appreciated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Did she flat out ask for a chance to reconcile? You received a written apology, it didn’t ask you to stop the divorce or even ask to meet you or talk further from what you wrote.


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## mitchard83 (May 29, 2014)

honcho said:


> Did she flat out ask for a chance to reconcile? You received a written apology, it didn’t ask you to stop the divorce or even ask to meet you or talk further from what you wrote.


Sorry. The letter did not. However the phone call earlier this week she all but said it. Kind of hinting towards it. She called me babe twice and said I love you at the end of the call. She also said she made a huge mistake.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you are interested in reconciliation then call her and ask her. 

IF she does and you do, then tell your attorney to slow down the divorce while you two figure out what you want to do.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

mitchard83 said:


> Soo I just received a letter in the mail from my ex saying she misses me and that she is sorry for all the pain she caused. I filled for divorce a couple of months ago and the finalization is set for the 25 of august 2014. My question is. It sounds like she wants to come home. I can still stop the divorce. Would it be wise to let her come back? Or just let her go.
> 
> Back story we were married in 09. *She left me beginning of 14, for another guy, this other guy wasn't the proverbial grass is greener. * So I still love her but know that letter her back would give her reason to think it is ok to leave for 7 months and come back. Any advice is appreciated.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Well, no. Dont stop the divorce. Reconciliation has its own set of huge problems. 

Let the divorce be finalized Aug 25 - that's 10 days from now.

After the divorce, look around. Take a gander at other women. You always have the option of dating your ex-wife then (along with other women). She opened the door for you to numerous other possibilities.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

The other portion of OP's story is here: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/195906-lost.html


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

See the divorce through to the end and re-evaluate afterward. If you do decide to reconcile, date her for no less than 2 years before re-marrying *W/ A SOLID PRE-NUP IN PLACE*.

Oh, and make sure that you insist on exclusivity from the very start.


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## bcc (Oct 8, 2012)

there are some angry folks on here and its because they have been betrayed, and have lost some sort of self esteem or something. Before my incident with my wife I always thought I would be out the front door in a second If I found her cheating but the reality set in when it happened and i took a different approach. The last time i posted this I got attacked from people who think they know better than me but just about no one on this site went through the craziness I went through, just look at my huge post 2 yrs ago so please forum readers dont bother and take your anger elsewhere. 
Michard who cares what she did. If she makes you happy and you had a few problems work on them. This marriage can be saved from what you are saying. I hated my wife with a passion and she hated me but we are back together. I dont think you should do the divorce , I was there too !!!! If there are second thoughts on both parties then just call your lawyer and he will extend the dates, thats what mine did. Get back together and have fun like you must have when you first met and see if it all smooths out. You may laugh at this someday. Im still fighting with memories but I have no regrets on reconciling with her. As for the cheating thing, lets face the facts, people are not monogamous by nature . If you dont believe that then read some science books, or go take a class in biology. If they arent cheating they are looking which everyone does (at least with a sex drive) Life is way too short to bother with concerning yourself with the "the other guy" to the point where you wont let her back. Stop the divorce, reconcile and try again. Its simple


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Maybe read his other thread first.


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