# my husband says he is bi



## Freaked out! (May 29, 2017)

Is this forum still open? My husband also told me he is bi. For five years he's been labeling himself as metro but last week started talking about fantasies that at first was us and another man to please me...then turned into the man for him---after I told him I felt that was cheating on our marriage. So NOW...I am a horrible person who won't let him explore his sexuality. He doesn't want anyone to know and now says he regrets telling me. But thought I would be open to it because I have gay friends. Yes, gay friends....but I want a straight husband. I do not know where to go from here.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Re: my husband told me he is BI-CURIOUS, Please HELP*



Freaked out! said:


> Is this forum still open? My husband also told me he is bi. For five years he's been labeling himself as metro but last week started talking about fantasies that at first was us and another man to please me...then turned into the man for him---after I told him I felt that was cheating on our marriage. So NOW...I am a horrible person who won't let him explore his sexuality. He doesn't want anyone to know and now says he regrets telling me. But thought I would be open to it because I have gay friends. Yes, gay friends....but I want a straight husband. I do not know where to go from here.


Start a new thread this one is long dead. 

By the way you are not a horrible person because you won't let him have a homosexual affair in your marriage (that was the deal you agreed to right? Straight and monogamous). He is actually kind of a horrible person to try to guilt you into letting him cheat. You may not be with the right person anymore though because he doesn't sound like a straight husband sadly.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

*Re: my husband told me he is BI-CURIOUS, Please HELP*



Freaked out! said:


> Is this forum still open? My husband also told me he is bi. For five years he's been labeling himself as metro but last week started talking about fantasies that at first was us and another man to please me...then turned into the man for him---after I told him I felt that was cheating on our marriage. So NOW...I am a horrible person who won't let him explore his sexuality. He doesn't want anyone to know and now says he regrets telling me. But thought I would be open to it because I have gay friends. Yes, gay friends....but I want a straight husband. *I do not know where to go from here.*


_Straight_ to a divorce attorney's office.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

*Re: my husband told me he is BI-CURIOUS, Please HELP*

My wife is bisexual and did not come out until later in life. She really did not know it at first since she was a virgin until 20. That is how she was raised. She pushed out all thoughts of sex with women until that is all she fantasized about. She did not want to have sex with a woman unless I took part. She said it would feel like cheating. It is a long story about how we went from my wife inviting one of her girlfriends to have sex with us, to a 30 year poly triad with her best friend. My wife was very lucky because her best friend was also secretly bi so it worked out for us. We shared her girlfriend in the respect that we both loved her and she us. There was never a problem and as my wife recently remarked, not even an argument with our girlfriend. No jealousy so I was allowed to have sex with our girlfriend or wife without the other taking part. However, the girls never had sex with each other unless I took part, if only to watch. Back in our time there was no such thing as bisexual. They would have been called lesbians. They knew that they were not lesbians so having guy around made it feel heterosexual in their minds.

Your husband will eventually need to have sex with a guy. He can do so behind your back, with your permission or even in a MMF threesome with you. Due to our lifestyle we knew a lot of poly triads, most FFM but some MMF. They made it work and their divorce rate was the same, or maybe better than the dismal monogamous one most people are in.

You are pretty much between a rock and a hard place. Sooner or later he will have to be with a man so the only question will be if it is done behind your back, with your permission or as a MMF threesome so it is done under your watchful eye. Who knows, you may enjoy having two men treat you like the most desirable woman in the world. The key is to find the right male. We were very lucky in that our girlfriend fit in perfectly with us. As three we felt complete. It has been a very good and happy life and the sex was great. My wife and I both miss not having another woman in bed with us.

Just to give you the rest of the story, our girlfriend got married after seven years with us. She found a husband who was OK with her being bi and having a relationship with my wife and I. So they made it work too and have been married 25 years now. Both she and we have had a great and long marriage even though it was non monogamous. Our girlfriend's husband was OK with me having sex with his wife since I am sterile an in a stable marriage. He lost his first wife to another guy so this time he decided to have an open marriage and it worked for him. We both choose our marriage over monogamy. Just set rules that make you feel more comfortable and take it from there. I have been in a few thousand threesomes over the ladt 47 years and never met someone who did not enjoy being sexually pleased by two sex partners at once. There are so many more ways to experience pleasure in a threesome than a twosome. For us it is much better than a twosome. Good luck.


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