# Pathetic in comparison



## nomoretogive (Oct 29, 2011)

I'm working on depositions tonight of a husband and wife who are suing over a medical procedure gone wrong. Of course, there is a loss of consortium claim filed on behalf of the husband, since his sex life has been affected by his wife's condition since the procedure. 

I knew my sex life needed help, but I didn't realize just how bad it was. These old folks are in their eighties -- he is 87 and she is 84 -- and right before her surgery (two years ago), they were still at it three times a week. Really? 

Right now, I'm really jealous that they are getting more than I am, and I'm less than half their age.

BUT I have this weird visual, trying to picture what sex at eighty-something looks like, health issues and all. 

Did I mention that I'm jealous that folks in their eighties are getting laid more than I am? LOL


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

I also hear about other people's sex lives in my line of work. I am often struck by how very different are some people's concept of "normal".

A little while ago I remember hearing my father in law's third wife talk about their sex life and she mentioned that due to her health problems they could ONLY manage sex "every week or so" They are in their 70s. I have gone most of the last 10 years without any sex.

I once had another woman in her 30s explain how it was sad "what happens to men when they age" because her 30 something boyfriend had recently only wanted sex once a day. For her "normal" was once in the morning and once or twice in the evening ....and "more often" on weekends.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My grandparents had sex often up until my gramps got sick at 80.

He was always slappin her ass 

My mom divorced my stepdad 24 years ago and hasn't had sex since. 

I dunno...


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

that_girl said:


> My mom divorced my stepdad 24 years ago and hasn't had sex since.
> 
> I dunno...


What`s up with that?
He must have been really good.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

tacoma said:


> What`s up with that?
> He must have been really good.


I dunno. She didn't date after that divorce. It was her third divorce and she said she was done.

I guess she meant it. lol! 

She raised me (I was 12 at the time) and that's it.

......

But Hubs' and my 'normal' is once a night. Sometimes we skip a night or two and it feels weird.


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## nomoretogive (Oct 29, 2011)

Lionelhutz said:


> I once had another woman in her 30s explain how it was sad "what happens to men when they age" because her 30 something boyfriend had recently only wanted sex once a day. For her "normal" was once in the morning and once or twice in the evening ....and "more often" on weekends.


This is hilarious to me....the whole "men as they age" phenomenon now occurring at 30-something. As someone not too far off from there age-wise, I wonder if I'm just screwed the rest of my life if it all goes downhill for men after that? Hmmm, hubby is 40, so maybe that explains the problem right there  

Seriously, makes you wonder whether we're normal -- since there are so many of us with the same tale on this site -- or if we're just really, really unlucky and deprived.

Even so, three times a day per her normal above would be too much for me, no matter how much I'm complaining now!!


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

nomoretogive said:


> Seriously, makes you wonder whether we're normal -- since there are so many of us with the same tale on this site -- or if we're just really, really unlucky and deprived.
> 
> Even so, three times a day per her normal above would be too much for me, no matter how much I'm complaining now!!


The really funny part was that as she explaining this I could see she had a moment of doubt as she listened to herself complain, so she clarified that the morning sex was really only just a "quickie". Just their way to get the day started. And I was thinking "Well I'm glad you cleared that up because otherwise I would have concluded that 2 or 3 times everyday and more often on weekends was a lot of sex."


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

My Dad was in his early 70's and was cheating on- my step mom. Many years before that he was cheating on my mom. For some strange reason he felt he had to tell me all about his affair with this older women which at the time she must have been around 80 or so. He told me several day a week he would see this over women for sex and have sex again with my step-mom almost every day. Even at 70, my Dad was strong as an ox. He told me he was a virgin until 34 years old. I guess he was making up for lost time.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

that_girl said:


> My grandparents had sex often up until my gramps got sick at 80.
> 
> He was always slappin her ass
> 
> ...


I  have a lady neighbor who is in her 70's. She divorced her husband over 40 years ago because he cheated. She never re-married and never had a boyfriend. She could never trust a man in that way ever again. Even in her 70's I could tell she was a beautiful woman and such a sweetheart


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I don't know where we get this idea that older people are not sexual. I worried about our love life slowing down, but it hasn't happened yet. I think it is because the most important sexual organ is the brain. 

It is also possible that this couple is exaggerating to get more money in the settlement.


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## isla~mama (Feb 1, 2012)

I had a friend whose mum would say if she didn't answer the phone it meant she was in the bedroom with her husband (this was in their 70s!). This is something that fills me with foreboding because if we're sexless in our prime what will it be like in our old age?


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

I am 57 and my wife is 56 and the sex is getting better and more frequent as we age. I plan on attacking her in the nursing home!:lol:


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

We have a wonderful poster here on TAM, Threetimesalady, who is in her 70's who posts often (in the Long Term Marriage sub-forum) about her and her husband's fantastic sex life.

Everybody on the board should go out and read her thread for inspiration:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-term-success-marriage/8487-51-years-till-death-do-we-part-my-love-then-grab-me-you-go-8.html#post581806

I firmly believe that as long as you are mentally capable, age should not be a barrier to you to enjoy some kind of sexual intimacy with your partner. Many of the barriers that we create are in our own mind.


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