# Everything just falls apart



## lovie (Feb 17, 2009)

Hi, I am fairly new to this site, and came here looking for some insight, as well as to help others. I do not have depression,never have, but I feel that maybe I may be slipping into one, and would just like some of your thoughts, and advice. This is long so please bare with me..but I do need some help.





One thing I have to say is that I feel lke I can never get a break. Sure I have my good days, but the bad seem to outweigh them. Last year, I got robbed at work, my car died when I had no money, My uncle had gotten cancer, and passed away. My fiance and I were having problems, something was happening to be going wrong with me mediclly..and all of this was from October to december 2008. Things stared looking better in december...then just as the new year starts we get into a major accident, and now the infedelity.

I feel like I have the crappiest of luck. Sometimes I wonder, what is the point of being here. Now I'm in no way suicidal..but I do wonder from time to time. I feel like right after another something goes wrong. Even my own mother the other day, told me I have the worst of luck I often feel like crawling in a hole, and just staying there.

Im sleeping moe, My job is slacking, i find myself not caring, just wanting to hurry up, finish my work, and go home.

Then please do not take offense to this at all, I am merly just thinking, and need some advice. I do believe in god, but I always wonder why me? Especially with the accident. It was the most horrible experiaence ive ever been through in my entire life, to open my eyes, and see my fiance bent over on my lap bleeding all over. Im not kidding when i say this, but I tend to have a lot of flashbacks about it more than once a day. I always wonder, if god loves us so much why put me through that. We had our seatbelt on, wasnt drinking or drugs, we dont rob people, we arent murderers. I fel like Im being punished for things. Is this what my life is going to be like?

The strange thing, is that for the first week, I was a wreck, but I havent really cried since. I just go on day to day...I feel like I am a zombie. Get up, go to work, go home. I just dont know if I can handle all of this stress. I feel like Im letting myself go, and i cant snap out of it. And this is not all just about the accident, but the last 8 months in general. I feel like the whole world is crashing on me, and all I have to look forward to is another thing to go wrong. What next, am i going to lose my job, have my appartment burned down?

A lot of people tell me to go talk to a councelor, I do have insurance, and am pretty stable with money, but you know they can be quite expensive, and Im not sure i can offord it. My fiance was my main support system, i went to him with everyhthing, as so did he, and now he isnt here to comfort me. I feel alone, lost, uncertain. I used to have my life figured out, and it all changed in one day. Now i dont know where I am going.

what do i do


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Hey Lovie...

Sorry to hear that life has treated you like crap. I know what you are going through, life has not been kind to me as well int he past.

I have lost both parents, 1 to Hepotitas when I was a year old, My mother died 2 years ago to a sudden Heart attack.

Lost a step-brother to Brain cancer, lost another brother to a gun shot wound in a bar fight with his BF over a woman. 

I had no financial support from my step father and I had to pay my own way through college, while at college my step-father and mother sold our house and moved...so I ahd to ahve my "worldly" posssesions with me in college, luckily I had cool roommates, A host of other things that can make you say "wow"

I always think that out there in this vast world of ours, Life is treating someone worse.

Some kid is starving, and dying right now.

Some people just loss their house.

Some people are addicted to drugs and selling their body for $$ to get thier next high.

Someone is being raped or murdered right now.

Some poor child is being born into this world to parents who do not want him or can't afford to have them, so they will live in poverty.

Somewhere someone is being oppressed for having a different view of society.

Some woman or child, or even man is being Beat or abused in some form.

Life can always be worse, I have food, a good job, a loving family, a roof over my head....Life is good, better then good, it's great.

I toook a bad situation made it better for myself, I found a loving wife who treated me with respect.

Sorry your boyfriend is in the ICU, but time to move on from him. Time for you to get your life back on track and do what is right for YOU. Don't hang onto this guy becuase he is hurt and in an accident, he betrayed you and was going to continue so, while you were going to get married, he has no respect for you.

If you don't have a college edcation, get one. You can get grants and loans to pay for it, Join the military, or try and find a job that will help pay for your schooling. Do you ahve friends and family that can support you? Friends are a great resource. Family is better.

Whenever I am sad, I listen to Bob Marley's "three birds" becuase dear no matter what, everything is going to be alright.

You just need to suck up whatever life throws at you, and KEEP MOVING FORWARD. Don't ever give up, never!


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## lovie (Feb 17, 2009)

Thank you so much for your advice...it kind of does make me look towards the positive side. I appreciate taking the time to listen, and offer your help


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