# WOW! This is a club I never wanted to join...



## fromblisstothis (May 17, 2012)

Hello everyone,
I have been lurking on this site for a week now - and I just want to thank everyone for having the courage to share their stories, some have been a lifeline to me in my darkest hours.

Soooo, May 3, 2012 my Love of 6 years came home from Vegas - and I immediately knew something was wrong (actually, I had that queasy feeling the whole time he was there - women's intuition I suppose). So, while sitting on the porch sharing a glass of wine together, I opened my big fat cakehole and asked him, "Are we OK.?" ummm...I guess its a bad sign when he started to cry...anyway, he had the dreaded 'Talk" you know the one all to well I'm sure..."I love you, but I'm not in Love with you like I should be (like come-on guys - someone needs to write some new "Breakup Talk" material)...and BAM!...life, love and my future as I knew it - has morphed into something I no longer recognize. And.It.Is.Terrifying.

What's even more terrifying is that I've been down this road before. 

I was with my high-school sweetheart for 13 years and we had a beautiful boy together. We were living the nuclear family dream, we worked hard, had a great circle of family and friends, great chemistry, sound child...and BAM! Jan.16 2003 I found out he was having an affair. After vomiting up my dinner in the bathroom, I poured two glasses of wine (I too, see a trend here) called him downstairs (he was putting our son to bed)...quietly asked him who **insert name (I prefer to call her the b$#ch that ruined my life)** was, looked on with dread as I noticed his body language change into something that appeared to be **gasp** relief. And I asked him if he wanted us "To workout". He said, "I don't know.." ... "I don't know..." Needless to say, he figured it out quick and left me for ** the b$#ch that ruined my life**. We sold all our worldly possessions...took a loss on our house...and the Baby and I moved in with my parents. The next year I experienced emotions and pain and despair and rage and just generally a horrible journey that I would not wish on my worst enemy (except maybe b#$ch that ruined my life of coarse).

And I don't know if I can go through that again. I know what's coming. And I fear this journey with an utter horrifying terror.

After being separated from high-school sweetheart for a year (we were never married), I met 'The One' **insert wracking sob here** and after a year of quiet courting, my son and I and his three children moved into a quaint little house, in a quaint little village, and I took a deep breathe and thanked the Universe for my new life...and then came the BAM! bit...

I am moving out with my son tomorrow and we are listing the house next week. Its all just happening so fast...I can barely breathe…I can't stay in the house with him, its unbearable to me that this man I adore does not love me enough to work things out (yes, the first thing I suggested was MC). But I am so afraid that I'm leaving to soon! And that if I stayed longer, there would be a chance of working things out!

But you see, in my previous relationship with High-school sweetheart, I stayed for 4 months before moving out. It was a vile experience... looking back on that young woman - I feel so much pity for her (me) - she became desperate. She grovelled. She bargained and begged. She became a barely capable mother... pitiful - and I fear that this will happen to me again if I stay much longer.

I don’t know what’s worse. Going through it for the first time and experiencing that completely foreign indescribable pain – or knowing that it’s coming (well it’s already here).

My heart goes out to each and every one of you that is going through this horrendous experience. It’s beautiful to fall in love – but is it really worth the humiliating crawl out of it?


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

This is twice for you.

I'd suggest your next call be for individual counseling.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I am so, so sorry you're here. Come on over to the Coping with Infidelity forum if you haven't already.

Why are you moving out? Why aren't you kicking him out?

So what exactly happened in Vegas anyway?

(My husband is NEVER going to Vegas without me. EVER.)


----------



## fromblisstothis (May 17, 2012)

I have NO idea what happened in Vegas. He went on business with his best friend who also broke off his relationship of 3 years upon his return. Perhaps they both looked around and said hmmm...we can do better. I have no idea - I sorta stopped listening after the "I don't love you enough" bit...

I HAVE to leave for my sanity. If this will be anything like before - I can't bare to drag it out. He is VERY clear that he is out.

He is very willing for both of us to stay peacefully in the home until it sells. I am not.


----------



## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I find it awfully curious that two guys went to Vegas as best friends and came home and ended their relationships. I am wondering if they are now more than best friends.


----------



## fromblisstothis (May 17, 2012)

:iagree: . Although not remotely possible.


----------



## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Just seems strange that one guy (let alone two of them) would go to Vegas, have a one night stand, then come home and end their relationship. 

I would think ending a relationship would come from an affair (falling in love with someone else) not just boinking someone in Vegas.


----------



## fromblisstothis (May 17, 2012)

SadSamIAm said:


> Just seems strange that one guy (let alone two of them) would go to Vegas, have a one night stand, then come home and end their relationship.
> 
> I would think ending a relationship would come from an affair (falling in love with someone else) not just boinking someone in Vegas.


No.No. You're absolutley right. I don't think it was a one night stand. I think the two of them vented to eachother over fine wine every evening and both decided the could do better.


----------

