# increased sex drive,is this normal for my age



## snappycat (Mar 30, 2013)

hello
im new here,and this is kinda of an embarassing question for me to ask,but here goes nothing.
ive been married for 20 years,we have 2 wonderful daughters 18 and 23,and im a new grandma.im 42 years old,and i never really cared or needed sex,i just didnt have the urge(now i feel really bad for hubby to put up with this for so many years)through the years i didnt know why i didnt want sex,cause i loved it when i was a teen,and early 20s.
well a few months ago something happened i dont know what,im not taking any medication,i have no explanation,and im not complaining,and neither is hubby,but he drives me crazy and in a good way,i just cant get enough of him,i want it all the time.
hes enjoying it too.
weve tried different positions daily,i give him daily bjs,and the crazy part is i love giving him oral,never thought i would ever say that.
i feel so good knowing im making him feel good,i mean is this normal,and how can i keep it going?
thanks


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

I don't know but if you figure it out can you please tell my wife?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

It hit my wife just after she turned 39. She wants it all the freaking time.

Now that you know what it's like to be this horny all the time, have some empathy and never leave him wanting again once yours returns to normal.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

It is more than likely peri-menopausal hormones. It is awesome if you have a willing husband/partner. Somedays I feel like I am a bloke, all I can think about is sex. I am 44 and it hit me last year.

I will say, that the desire levels fluctuate, at the moment I am in a lower desire time, however, I am still up for it when my husband wants it, usually every second day or so.

As for keeping it going, this is more of a mind thing when the hormones change. I am now much more aware of what it is like to be horny and not get fulfilled, so if H is up for it, then so am I.

Just enjoy the journey together and be glad you are one of the women whose hormones have pushed her this way.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *snappycat said:* i mean is this normal,and how can i keep it going?


For your age...Yes NORMAL.. .though it does seem hit or miss from reading women's stories, it also happened to me at this age... I referred to it as my Mid Life crisis even... oldest went off to college , had our last baby and got an IUD.. and suddenly realized...







we are getting older, where did all the time [email protected]#... I just wanted to go back in time something awful... and DO , BE, live all the things I felt I took for granted - mainly in the sexual !

Here is another thread from another poster our age... same feelings...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/43267-i-cant-stop-thinking-about-sex.html


For me ....It was totally consuming like I entered another world... all I wanted to do...0 forplay needed.....I was ready to go 24/7 ... Flirting suddenly became my 2nd language ... I went on a Lingerie kick, I couldn't get enough .... I was touching him so much I thought I might make him numb. 

I was beginning to think I had a sex addiction, I could identify with every young man I seen out & about... suddenely realizing... OMG is this what men go through wanting sex... how in hell can they handle this and remain sane. What a trip !!

I was luring my husband into the bedroom as soon as he hit the door after work.... I went out of my way to learn how to please a man & get as much sex out of him as I could. It was very dismaying when he couldn't keep up with me.. He was 45 at tthe time. I would have died & went to heaven with 3 times a day. 

I even gave my poor husband some performance Pressure but we worked through it together, I got a book On Sexual Healing and learned "Sensate Focus" techniques...

All this slowly started to calm after 8 months for me ....... but our active sex life has remained for the past 4 yrs... at least after that spell.. .that surge.. I was able to concentrate on other things. 

I made sure he got adequate sleep, ate well, sometimes I would send him to bed early so I could jump him later at night. Crazy time! 



> im 42 years old,and i never really cared or needed sex,i just didnt have the urge(now i feel really bad for hubby to put up with this for so many years)through the years i didnt know why i didnt want sex,cause i loved it when i was a teen,and early 20s.


I too suddenly felt this RUSH of sadness, I looked at my husband thinking of our past saying ......"HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU HANDLE THIS all these years?" 

I always loved







, but it wasn't primarily on my mind... he DID feel rejected by me in the past... he was very very sensitive to my showing I wanted him (more than the average man)... so we did miss each other more than we should have. He was rather passive... I always initiated and he loved that... 

But had I realized how MEN FEEL earlier in my life.... this intense unrelenting craving..... I would have never allowed DAYS to go by without some pleasurable release for him.









Somehow I think it should be the responsibility of us older women to teach our young daughters to take good care of their husbands in their younger yrs ... as to explain to them.. someday the TIDE is going to turn and we'll be the ones in that heavy erotic Need. 

Just enjoy it - if hubby is happy ! I told my OBGYN about this thinking I might need my hormones checked, but she just brushed it off & said to enjoy it ! So I did !


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

For me, it hit around 37. I am 50 now and it's still going strong!

Insert SA's adorable graphic of the couple in bed...: :::


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## Angus1985 (Feb 14, 2013)

Almost 44 here and I too have been hit with the sex bug a few months ago. I'm on my 20th day straight of having sex, can't get enough. I know just how you feel ;-)


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Yup - this hit for me about 2 years ago and is still going strong. I can only equate it to what guys describe as their late teens/early 20's where they think about sex and want it ALL THE TIME.

We joke in my household that it's a cruel joke to give us this crazy surge just as husband's are often declining. 

I'm a lucky girl that my other half is so accommodating...


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

I waited for quite a few years for my wife to hit this stage. Unfortunately she decided to quench her "thirst" with a number of other men. Glad she is gone. Be careful.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

I don't think my wife will hit that stage... shes 46


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

toonaive said:


> I waited for quite a few years for my wife to hit this stage. Unfortunately she decided to quench her "thirst" with a number of other men. Glad she is gone. Be careful.


How long did you wait to quench this "thirst" with her? 

How many other men and did you ever get a shot, or her drive came back after you patiently waited for years and she went right outside of your relationship.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I guess I'm young in the scheme of things (late 20'as). But boy did it hit me with pregnancy! It's like I have a two-track mind, daydream about sex with my husband, daydream about the baby, rinse and repeat around the clock (it seems like I posted this on TAM before?)

Unfortunately for the month of March he was gone more than he was home, and is gone now until tomorrow night. This must have been the fewest amount of sex we have ever had in one month since we were sneaking sex when we dated.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Hmmm. 
Only 7-12 more years of waiting for it hahaha (my wife is 30).
And to the poster who said guys in their "teens and early 20s" that want it all the time...
Im 37 and that hasnt changed. I would have sex 1-3 times per day, with the occasional day or two off, if my wife was up for it. 
Only 7-12 more years. Tick tock.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Hang in there Naga! Just make sure you are in shape and ready to go when it hits. You'll find you can't remember what it's like to not get enough and wish for a break on occasion!


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

The universe definitely has a sense of humor. I have no idea why peak male and female sex drives are so out of synch. Don't worry about keeping it going; that will take care of itself as long as you two want to please each other and maintain the connection that passionate intimacy brings.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> But had I realized how MEN FEEL earlier in my life.... this intense unrelenting craving..... I would have never allowed DAYS to go by without some pleasurable release for him.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Amen to that, SA! It wasn't until TAM that I realized so many spouses are denying the other spouse sex. I can hardly see how they stay connected without sex.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Haha!
Man. I hope i dont get shafted on the raging hormone wife!
In good shape now, and i plan on staying that way!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

After reading all of these posts about these "surges" in drive, I'm getting a bit jealous. My wife and I are both 45 and I'm still waiting for hers to hit.


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## snappycat (Mar 30, 2013)

thank you all for your comments
ive had the flu for the past two days,but im still thinking of jumping hubbys bones,i told him to rest up while im sick,and he said hes ready when iam


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Wow did my drive kick in! I'm 43 and I seriously cannot get enough of my H. He is 52 and is having no trouble keeping up. I keep hearing how a mans drive goes south as they get older and some even require the little blue pill. Not the case in this house ;-). I feel so guilty about all those years I didn't want it. He isn't exactly an initiator. Just went without and honestly it caused us a lot of problems! Glad we are so back on track!


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I'm 48 and yes, it's completely normal. Besides just the normal hormonal changes though, I made two choices in my early 40's that I think helped.

One, I went off the pill about 6 or 7 years ago. Two, about 4 or 5 years ago I made a decision that I was going to stop rejecting my husband's sexual advances. I was just going to say "yes" every time. I mean EVERY TIME. We didn't have a sexless marriage, (it was probably once a week, to every 10 days) but I knew he wanted it more. I guess it was kind of like a "fake it, til you make it" thing but I was always the type that once we were in the act, I'd think to myself, "Why am I not doing this more often?"

Anyway, now it's totally out of control, lol. 

(I would do a double thumbs up smiling here but it kinds of reminds me of a hand job.)


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Zatol Ugot? said:


> After reading all of these posts about these "surges" in drive, I'm getting a bit jealous. My wife and I are both 45 and I'm still waiting for hers to hit.


Me too. I am 43 and she is 46... :banghead:


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

Agreed Trenton. When I am at my peak horniness, I have to wonder how men ever get any work done. All you can think about is sex and that must be what it is like to be a male.


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

No it's abnormal, we are going to have to down regulate you to little or no sex drive.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

All I can say is it sucks being single at this point in my life!


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

EnjoliWoman said:


> All I can say is it sucks being single at this point in my life!


Some guy is going to be really lucky to get you, Enjoli!


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## jims1020 (Apr 6, 2013)

my wife is 44, I hope she catches this soon!


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Bellavista said:


> Agreed Trenton. When I am at my peak horniness, I have to wonder how men ever get any work done. All you can think about is sex and that must be what it is like to be a male.


Teenage years are HELL.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Zatol Ugot? said:


> After reading all of these posts about these "surges" in drive, I'm getting a bit jealous. My wife and I are both 45 and I'm still waiting for hers to hit.


Was she ever high drive? In some ways my wife is only returning to what her drive was when we first got married.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

larry.gray said:


> Teenage years are HELL.


Seeing your like reminded me of one incident... get back to us when something like this happens to you...

I was in the back seat in class. One time in 8th grade one of the girls was digging stuff out of her backpack in the next row over. She had a loose top, and when she put her arms together her bra would open up and GLORY BE, I could see both of her nipples pointing up at me. This was a well developed, fairly well endowed girl. She did this quite a while, I'm sure oblivious to the show she was giving. They were jiggling away as she dug around, and being 13 yeah, I got a stiffie I could pound nails with. Next thing I know, I'm recreating the scene in American Pie. 

Yep, blew a load in my pants. 

From looking.

THANK GOD I'd toned it down a bit by the time I actually had sex.


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> Seeing your like reminded me of one incident... get back to us when something like this happens to you...
> 
> I was in the back seat in class. One time in 8th grade one of the girls was digging stuff out of her backpack in the next row over. She had a loose top, and when she put her arms together her bra would open up and GLORY BE, I could see both of her nipples pointing up at me. This was a well developed, fairly well endowed girl. She did this quite a while, I'm sure oblivious to the show she was giving. They were jiggling away as she dug around, and being 13 yeah, I got a stiffie I could pound nails with. Next thing I know, I'm recreating the scene in American Pie.
> 
> ...


What used to give me these kinda shows was "camel toes". That would get my imagination to going when I was young.


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