# First time really tempted it was hard.......



## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

We all have read the stories of being tempted most of us know the why, the how, etc, but when was the last time it really happened?

For me being late 30's, kids, super busy, and spending every waining second with the my wife, it has been a very long time. Probably since college to be honest. I don't mean friendly banter and a wink...I mean really hit on. I just don't go out and don't get myself in sticky situation....USUALLY!!!

I had to go to Mass. for work with some coworkers and to make a long story short we ended up at a bar. The bar had trivia night very much a college age scene with some olders thrown in for good measure. 

We came in 2nd place and seemed to impress the locals........before you now it we are talking to 4 college girls in there mid 20's all in graduate school. They pretty wanted to see if the "out of towners" can hang with the Boston crowd!

It didn't take long for the conversation got very sexual undertones while talking about 50 shades etc. The one single guy with us was really playing along adding fuel to the fire. Well, one young woman had a clear interest in me. Rubbing my thigh repeatedly, asking very loaded questions "Don't you just want to do something wild every once in awhile?" etc etc. "That's the way it is, right? College is so fun then real life starts and it's just work, work, work and no fun!!! I dread it" She practically said "I want to bang your brains out tonight just invite me back!!"

I didn't cave, but I tell you that was harder than I thought. If I would have been alone and not with anyone who knew me I wonder.......? She was a little drunk very pretty 25........

So, what I learned when I got back to the hotel was I was so releived that nothing happened. I figure this has only happened once in 20 years....I should be good going forward.

I guess with all the black and white posts on the forum........I do see the grey best of luck to us all to remain faithful to our spouses for the longhaul.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

oh lucky you ! Something to be admired


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## Gunthar (Sep 2, 2012)

Great self-control :smthumbup:

No, you should never cave....even if you were alone.

You could leverage this "wow, I must still be looking good as I can attract a 25 year old" to go and have some real fun with your wife.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

I'm happy for your wife and for the sake of your marriage that nothing happened. I'm happy that there were people there that knew you because "if I would have been alone and not with anyone who knew me I wonder......."

my advice for the future, not that you're asking  is that if you end up at a bar where it is "20 somethings" and obviously a "meat market", you politely excuse yourself... "wow, I'm really tired, I think I'm gonna head back to the hotel, call my wife, and hit the sack early"..and then do just that.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Kind of happened to me too. Some co-workers and I were up in St.Paul for engineer training, and we decided to hit the town afterwards. I don't drink (yeah, yeah, I was "volunteered" to be the designated driver) so I ordered a Coke and hung at the bar watching whatever was on the tube while my pals went around to "score", and the barmaid leans over the bar and whispers in my ear that the woman at the other end thinks I'm cute!

I look over and see that she is quite attractive (but then again, there's a reason that the lights are dim in a bar!), and she's motioning for me to come over. I seriously considered it, remembering the days when I would have begged a woman to even look in my direction, but I just mouthed "Thanks" to her and pointed to the ring on my finger, then gave her the "Oh, well" shrug. She nodded, gave me the "Oh, well" shrug too, and went off in search of easier prospects.

I know a lot of guys who are the "Better to ask forgiveness than permission" types, but I'm definitely the "Better to have a clean conscience than see the tears in my W's eyes while trying to explain" type.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Decent looking dude my age outside of a grocery store asked me if my car has "a role bar." Mind you this is not a "cool" car - a convertible VW Cabrio. I then proceed to talk to him about the car not thinking anything about it.

Told Husband about this odd question & he rolled his eyes & said guys do not care about silly "chick" cars. Now it's a long standing joke between us.

No way would I go into a pick-up bar w/o husband. GNO's for me are LDL - Ladies Doing Lunch


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Gunthar said:


> Great self-control :smthumbup:
> 
> No, you should never cave....even if you were alone.
> 
> You could leverage this "wow, I must still be looking good as I can attract a 25 year old" to go and have some real fun with your wife.


 :iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

One thing you can do to help in a situation like this is to talk about your wife. For instance you could have responded to that woman with the wild stuff you do with your wife and talk your wife up. Nothing throws cold water on someone who is targeting you like talking about your spouse. If the person is really fun loving and interested in talking they won't mind discussing your wife in a positive way. This is a good way to weed out women you should avoid.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

This is why my husband and I refuse to go to bars without each other. And if it was unavoidable the minute we saw where the scene was going we'd excuse ourselves and walk away.

We believe anybody is capable of cheating given the right set of circumstances so the best strategy is to not put yourself in that situation in the first place. 

Problem solved.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

If that had been me she would have been told to get her damn hands off my thigh. Touching is a big, huge no - no to me when someone is in a committed relation or married.

I've had idiot men crotch grab me or grind while husband was right there let me tell you the husband wasnt fast enough to deck the pr!co because i did it first. Bouncer was watching the whole thing for the crotch grab incident too and took my side.

A man who gets physical with me (grabbing hitting, violent physical) better be prepared to come away with nothing but stumps left for hands. Mama didnt raise no foolish girls... and i guess shaolin kempo comes in handy too... love my mom for empowering her girls in knowing how to defend themselves physically. Best thing you can do for a daughter.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> This is why my husband and I refuse to go to bars without each other. And if it was unavoidable the minute we saw where the scene was going we'd excuse ourselves and walk away.
> 
> We believe anybody is capable of cheating given the right set of circumstances so the best strategy is to not put yourself in that situation in the first place.
> 
> Problem solved.


Agree 100%.

I admit this does not make me a popular person sometimes. Especially at work. But I stand my ground. I did it even before I was married in every relationship I ever had. Don't go places where I could even be mistaken for being single if my H is not with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Me & mine pretty much do everything together...it's always been our way.... 

I have not really had any real life temptations with anyone - I've never been in a bar type setting without him by my side. And all the people we hang with are pretty respectable.... so these things just don't seem to happen.


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

I got to say OP, is your wife okay with another woman rubbing your thigh repeatedly? You seem to be? Do you share that - like if a guy was rubbing your wife's thigh when she was out without you, you'd be okay with that?

If I found out my husband had let that happen I wouldn't be happy and I'd be questioning his boundaries because for me personally that's a step too far. For me that displays a weakness in boundaries to others, a lack of respect for your wife and could potentially be giving a green light whether you intended it to or not. I wouldn't let any guy do that either.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe you shouldn't have let her rub your thigh all night.

Geez.

If my husband allowed that...holy crap. May as well let her rub your crotch.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Good stuff always great to hear stories of people being strong. I never said I was flawless or didn't make errors. My wife did much better than I when she was hit on in LA on a trip. She said to the guy "Does your mom know where you are? Have you told her you loved her today? I'm a mom and we need that!" needless to say the young buck walked away smiling probably thinking my wife was "bat****" crazy. 

I'm just glad nothing happened and I was strong enough not to make a very poor decision.


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

Mate, something DID happen - you let a complete stranger touch you up.

Degrees and boundaries though - if you and your wife are happy with that then fair play. I appreciate what you are saying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

livnlearn said:


> I'm happy for your wife and for the sake of your marriage that nothing happened. I'm happy that there were people there that knew you because "_if I would have been alone and not with anyone who knew me I wonder......."_
> 
> my advice for the future, not that you're asking  is that if you end up at a bar where it is "20 somethings" and obviously a "meat market", you politely excuse yourself... "wow, I'm really tired, I think I'm gonna head back to the hotel, call my wife, and hit the sack early"..and then do just that.


:iagree:

It's really best to not place yourself in those sort of situations, OP, if the only thing likely to hold you back is the company you're in...


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Not a ton left to say.........this whole "incident" transpired in shoot 30 minutes after the trivia game. This wasn't some big all night flirt touchy feel romp. The thigh part was like 3-4 times for 1-2 seconds each..........!

Regardless of the debby downer replies I'm still pretty happy. Like I said this is a first in 20 years, so going off that I'll be tempted again when I'm almost 60 then I'll be dead after that.

I still chalk it up as a victory!! Don't plan to be in the situation again......lol.

**Some of you guys/girls replies sound like professors I had in school that lived in the world of theory and not practical application. I still think I did good**


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

OhGeesh said:


> Not a ton left to say.........this whole "incident" transpired in shoot 30 minutes after the trivia game. This wasn't some big all night flirt touchy feel romp. The thigh part was like 3-4 times for 1-2 seconds each..........!
> 
> _Regardless of the debby downer replies I'm still pretty happy. _Like I said this is a first in 20 years, so going off that I'll be tempted again when I'm almost 60 then I'll be dead after that.
> _
> ...


Sorry, but if you were expecting a High Five for hanging out in a bar with a group of flirty students, letting one of them rub your thigh but resisting the temptation to bonk her because of the people you were with, I fear you were badly mistaken.:scratchhead:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea. Had you been in there alone with the girls...who knows what you would have done. Your words, not ours.

Yea, way to pull back the reins, but, you did let the reins get pretty lax.

Why don't you tell your wife about another, younger chick rubbin up your thighs? That you stuck around somewhere letting yourself be tempted? Would she be so proud that you didn't sleep with that girl? Bet you won't tell her because you know she'd be upset. And rightfully so.


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## ChelseaBlue (Mar 5, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> Sorry, but if you were expecting a High Five for hanging out in a bar with a group of flirty students, letting one of them rub your thigh but resisting the temptation to bonk her because of the people you were with, I fear you were badly mistaken.:scratchhead:


Or maybe not. I'll give OhGeesh a high five for getting through a tough situation and another for coming on here and discussing it, so I guess that's really a high ten. 

Something like this can escalate very quickly and in the end he did the right thing.

Good for you, bro.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

*Yea. Had you been in there alone with the girls...who knows what you would have done. Your words, not ours.*

*Very true, but you are looking at it pessimistically loading the question in a negative light. I'm just a realist......it would have been more tempting, right? I don't know I've never been in the situation before I'd hope and really do think I would have done nothing maybe less because I would have probably been so nervous. I've been faithful for 20 years and not looking to cheat or put myself in a situation to cheat. 

*Yea, way to pull back the reins, but, you did let the reins get pretty lax.*

*Really someone touching your thigh as you are sitting next to them is pretty lax? I would hate to see what a frontal hug would have been.

*Why don't you tell your wife about another, younger chick rubbin up your thighs? That you stuck around somewhere letting yourself be tempted? Would she be so proud that you didn't sleep with that girl? Bet you won't tell her because you know she'd be upset. And rightfully so.*
*I did tell her in detail much more than on here maybe that's the problem I didn't put in enough detail, but again I think you are letting your past dictate your reponses here. Maybe I should have typed 1000 words and explained everything said, so you would better understand I apologize. I wasn't a kid in the candy story by any means......... while my body language wasn't "How dare you enter my personal space let alone place a hand on my person. I'm married for Christ sake!!" it wasn't receptive either.

My post was clearly to say I was in a more precarious situation then I ever been and walked away faithful. That made me feel good and again sorry the thigh hand touch didn't pass your merit test.

I hope your husband would!!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Your post, to me, read much worse than you just described. You originally said she kept rubbing your thigh. That paints a picture different than just touching your thigh.

And yea, I know how girls touch men. I used to be single and flirty. 

I'm glad you feel good about your situation. And yea, it didn't pass my merit test. Sorry. I'm surprised it passed your wife's. But then again, your story seems to be changing to sound better. So that's good.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

> It didn't take long for the conversation got very sexual undertones while talking about 50 shades etc. The one single guy with us was really playing along adding fuel to the fire. Well, one young woman had a clear interest in me. *Rubbing my thigh repeatedly*, asking very loaded questions "Don't you just want to do something wild every once in awhile?" etc etc.


Paints a pretty bad picture that you sat there entertaining these 20ish something women. But glad you feel you walked away without being unfaithful.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Paints a pretty bad picture that you sat there entertaining these 20ish something women. But glad you feel you walked away without being unfaithful.


Again poor explaining by my part in the middle of the night.


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## oddball (Sep 5, 2012)

I was away on business about 2 weeks ago, and after dinner went to the Hotel Bar for a nightcap. A attractive couple started chatting to me, and bought me another drink. Suddenly the conversation between them became quite sexual, and they started trying to involve me. I thought it a bit odd. A few minutes later she leaned over and whispered in my ear that she really fancied me and so did her husband. Did I want to go an "play with them". I smiled, finished my drink, and said goodnight.

I was out of there in a flash. I must be honest and say I was flattered though


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Good job on walking away. It gets harder (pun intended) to do, the further you let it go though, so walking away earlier is better, IMO.

I've been in comparable situations (clear offer) and it DOES take strength to walk away from. Telling the wife afterwards helps - helps me to know that I can talk to her about these things, helps her to know that I am faithful to her from choice, not necessity, helps me know that I'm still attractive (although it's been a few since I noticed an offer .. maybe I'm getting better about being unavailable, or maybe I'm NOT attractive anymore??!)

Similarly, my wife has mentioned a time where she was effectively propositioned - and pulled away sharply. Works both ways.

Keep up the good work, but be more careful in future!


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

OhGeesh said:


> Not a ton left to say.........this whole "incident" transpired in shoot 30 minutes after the trivia game. This wasn't some big all night flirt touchy feel romp. The thigh part was like 3-4 times for 1-2 seconds each..........!
> 
> Regardless of the debby downer replies I'm still pretty happy. Like I said this is a first in 20 years, so going off that I'll be tempted again when I'm almost 60 then I'll be dead after that.
> 
> ...


I understand your sentiment completely. Yes it IS difficult. I don't know if you were talking about me re: the professor comment, but I'm talking from personal experience so excuse me I'm rather jaded  Different to your situation but my husband had very poor boundaries when a woman made the moves on him. In his case it was a series of small steps, such as the touching you describe, that got closer and eventually crossed the line. He "let" things similar to what you describe happen, although like you he did not instigate them or go looking for something to happen, he did not STOP them.

He got into a sticky situation and luckily (although it is not something I am particularly partial to thinking about) he did actually pull back when the woman made a CLEAR move in his mind (she kissed him.)

Your post reminded me of how inappropriate behaviour (different for everyone, the prelude to cheating if you want to define it), some people think is "okay" because it's not actually "cheating" IYSWIM. But it can be hurtful. But that line differs for different couples.

But I think your original post does show that even the best-intentioned guy/gal can unexpectedly find themself in a difficult situation where there is an attraction. We're human after all. I say good for you - because you learned something.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Rags said:


> Good job on walking away. It gets harder (pun intended) to do, the further you let it go though, so walking away earlier is better, IMO.
> 
> I've been in comparable situations (clear offer) and it DOES take strength to walk away from. *Telling the wife afterwards helps - helps me to know that I can talk to her about these things, helps her to know that I am faithful to her from choice, not necessity*, helps me know that I'm still attractive (although it's been a few since I noticed an offer .. maybe I'm getting better about being unavailable, or maybe I'm NOT attractive anymore??!)
> 
> ...


:iagree:

Me personally, I think it is very very important to tell our spouses such things, this holds us accountable and the wife or husband who doesn't JUMP up in the air crying betrayal -or you shouldn't have let it go that far in those 2 seconds, MY LORD, give the guy a break!! 

*Secrets are the real danger here*... being open & honest with our other half is how we stay accountable to each other...and how very very precious that we can take ALL to them .....I believe even the best of men & women can be a little "tempted" (in the mind)- this however doesn't mean they would take it further....... just makes us human. And let's get REAL here ~just cause one is married -doesn't mean we are no longer attracted to the opposite sex. 

With some of the reactions here, It's obvious, one simply can't be honest with their spouses in everything... best to hide & never open your mouth. Thank God my husband isn't like this. And neither am I. 

I mentioned this thread to him last night, telling him how some of the replies were taking OhGeesh head off, and he says ...."Yep I guess he was just TOO honest, can't do that with people".... .my thoughts exactly. 

In the heat of the moment, you did the right thing OhGeesh! :smthumbup:


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Maybe you shouldn't have let her rub your thigh all night.
> 
> Geez.
> 
> If my husband allowed that...holy crap. May as well let her rub your crotch.


Really? Not the same thing.:scratchhead:


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Me personally, I think it is very very important to tell our spouses such things, this holds us accountable and the wife or husband who doesn't JUMP up in the air crying betrayal -or you shouldn't have let it go that far in those 2 seconds, MY LORD, give the guy a break!!
> 
> ...


SA

To be fair, how OhGeesh described the touching up part initially did change in later posts to be less than it appeared when he first said it.

I completely agree with your entire second paragraph. I don't know that I am getting the reasoning behind not telling stuff to your partner... Are you saying in case they overreact? I don't know that we aren't coming at this from different perspectives. For me? If my husband came to me and told me the story OG recounted, yes I would be upset. Why? Not because he was attracted to another woman. Like you say, that is life. But I would be asking him why he did not clearly articulate his boundaries. I would be wondering why he was using inaction rather than action.

If it were the later version where there was a few short periods of her with her hands on him, yeah I wouldn't be happy about it. 

It sounds like you are saying that when someone does something questionable like this, they shouldn't tell their spouse in case they overreact? I can see that some spouses might blow it out of all proportion, but I'm talking extremes here... But is it not also fair to say that just because, say, OG thinks it is okay and he is entitled to hold that boundary (I'm not saying you do OG, but just for the sake of argument), that his wife is just as entitled to get angry/upset because SHE may view this as out of order?

I don't think honesty should be withheld just because of the worry of a strong reaction. That's crazy. If I found out later about that story having happened and my husband hadn't told me because he knew I'd be upset, then there is a certain implicit understanding *on his part* that he knew that in some way he'd violated some kind of trust.

I do agree OG did the right thing, I guess from my experience I am now pretty black and white when it comes to this kind of stuff. I realise other couples may be a bit different.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Hmmm...what if one of the friends you were with happens to be at a party with you and your W, and lets it slip about how that "young babe was feelin' you up all night"?

Your gonna have some 'splainin to do.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *tobio said*: It sounds like you are saying that when someone does something questionable like this, they shouldn't tell their spouse in case they overreact?


 No...I think they should either way... .But I can see WHY some are hesitant.....because some spouses overreact horribly....putting the other in the doghouse for a month or more, turning off the sex, never living it down ~ just confessing a weak moment (as if they DID cheat-that is all they see )...such an incidence will come up in every future fight even (which basically means it was never thoroughly talked through, understood and forgiven)..... I think this is spitting in the face of what a good marriage is made of.... 

To understand exactly where My head is at in such things -- I have it all spelled out in my "*Transparency thread*" >>  HERE . These are very delicate issues to NOT be swept under the rug...if our spouse is tempted elsewhere, it NEEDS opened up ..and talked about. 

My thread is how me & my husband LIVE, neither of us expect perfection, but we DO expect honesty at every turn. He'd be 10 times more in the doghouse for NOT telling me something like that - over sharing when he came home .... 

If this happened to him (never has mind you)......he would gracefully try to get out of that situation, but I can't see him making a big scene, getting rude with the woman either, that's just not who he is. I guess in my mind, I would even find it laughable -she'd never have a chance. But his male visual side...being physically attracted to some hot younger chick, it would make him feel good, a little ego boosting...a momentary slight fantasy entertained, makes sense to me. Though my husband is turned off by drunks. 

This one poster in the Men's section....just last week, heaven forbid, his wife looked at some Porn & masterbated (against their beliefs)...now he can't forgive her.... will never look at her in the same light, Trust destroyed in his mind....I just shake my head..... did she cheat on him??? If he thinks so, well then I guess they have a mountain to work through.... I simply can not relate to anyone who expects this sort of perfection in a marriage...and frankly, I don't think I could be married to someone who looked at life through those lenses. 

I'd want to pull my hair out of my head.









Sure we have every right to over-react if we feel our husbands was getting close to the creek bank, stepping over a fence in flirtatiousness ...THIS HURTS a woman...just as he freely expressed, he needs to be open to her pain/hurt and feelings of "WOW, why didn't you react sooner" if that be the case.....but yeah... it still needs spoken about ...

Then Hopefully..... once our husbands fess up, pull us close, assure us it is only US he wants at the end of the day... not another...... this will be a calming balm ...with him showing this every day, bringing the relationship even closer. ...

The 1st time in 30 yrs, if this be the case....again I say ...give the man a break. 

Anyway...this was a BAR...what does one expect.. .these are "Meat markets"....the woman was a drunken floozy - so why even get all that upset. 

If the temptation was strong, then best he never puts himself in that situation again. This also should be talked about.... Hearing it was "strong" would be very difficult for most women (most men would likely omit this part)....I would think my husband needed some hot lovin' ...and badly. And best to add some spicing & novelty to shake it up a bit. It's a situation where the sex life needs a little extra loving care & attention.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

A couple of things ....

Telling your spouse about being hit on - I was last hit on about 10 years ago while at a conference. I told my wife about it and she has never forgotten. When she is grumpy she will bring it up. She will accuse me of actually cheating. Ten years later! I felt proud that I didn't do anything. I wish I had never told her about the incident.


Someone brought up how talking about your wife can stop the flirting/attraction - I think one of the reasons I was hit on was because of a discussion about my wife. Earlier in the night we were having a discussion about a couple of married guys that were sleeping around. I spoke out about what jerks they were. I think this girl took it as a challenge to get me to cheat with her.

My opinion is that you should avoid these situations. If you get in them, then don't cheat. Depends on what your wife is like, but if she is like mine (jealous and distrusting) then keep it to yourself.


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## SA's husband (Apr 9, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> If this happened to him (never has mind you)......he would gracefully try to get out of that situation, but I can't see him making a big scene, getting rude with the woman either, that's just not who he is. I guess in my mind, I would even find it laughable -she'd never have a chance. But his male visual side...being physically attracted to some hot younger chick, it would make him feel good, a little ego boosting...a momentary slight fantasy entertained, makes sense to me. Though my husband is turned off by drunks.


The wife is a little off on this. I would try to move away from her. If she was intoxicated, she would just move on to the next guy, no ego boosting in that.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

tobio said:


> I got to say OP, is your wife okay with another woman rubbing your thigh repeatedly? You seem to be? Do you share that - like if a guy was rubbing your wife's thigh when she was out without you, you'd be okay with that?
> 
> If I found out my husband had let that happen I wouldn't be happy and I'd be questioning his boundaries because for me personally that's a step too far. For me that displays a weakness in boundaries to others, a lack of respect for your wife and could potentially be giving a green light whether you intended it to or not. I wouldn't let any guy do that either.


Cut the guy some slack. He didn't do anything to lead the young, hot, horny coed on and she was the aggressor. He behaved like a gentleman and didn't do what I'm sure many other guys in the same situation would have done. 

I'm sure the OP needed to take matters into his own hands once back at the hotel room. Kind of hard to sleep after that, I'm sure. 

Hey, OP - did your single friend tap any of the girls?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

SA's husband said:


> The wife is a little off on this. I would try to move away from her. If she was intoxicated, she would just move on to the next guy, no ego boosting in that.


Ha ha, You are so right ~ a drunks philanderings is nothing to get excited about. They get too bombed, they might cozy up with the sheep in the barn or who knows what. 



SadSamIAm said:


> A couple of things ....
> 
> Telling your spouse about being hit on - I was last hit on about 10 years ago while at a conference. I told my wife about it and she has never forgotten. When she is grumpy she will bring it up. She will accuse me of actually cheating. Ten years later! I felt proud that I didn't do anything. I wish I had never told her about the incident.


 You took the honorable high road ...then....she trampled on you and your honesty....blew it back in your face again & again over the years... happens too often, after a while, you have a "live & learn" attitude...to keep peace. 

I am so very different....I'd even Thank him & kiss him for coming to me! My husband has only been hit on a handful of times in his life, his quietness doesn't do him any favors, but when I hear of them, I LOVE the stories !! I trust him explicitly...but that is just something that has been built ....after all these yrs together. 

There is just so much of this on this forum...spouses stunting the others honesty...then they wonder why they are distant. We all need to realize not to do this.....this only pushes our spouses further away...crushing vulnerability...and allowing a divide to enter the union, making a mountain out of a molehill. 



> Someone brought up how talking about your wife can stop the flirting/attraction - I think one of the reasons I was hit on was because of a discussion about my wife. Earlier in the night we were having a discussion about a couple of married guys that were sleeping around. I spoke out about what jerks they were. I think this girl took it as a challenge to get me to cheat with her.


 If one doesn't want to get up & leave, I think this is the best line of defense....good advice.....a reasonable stranger sees the boundaries erected in such conversations.... this lady is not the norm...but very pushy. One can only imagine how many she's slept with & brought down. Good for you SadSamIam, you wasn't one of them! :smthumbup:


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