# why did he have to do this today?



## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

so instead of waiting till tomorrow to give me our daughter's phone, he went to my job to give it to me today. he knows i don't want to talk to him. he knows i get upset around him now. and he knows today's mother's day, my day. yet he had to come to my job for no good reason. why??????
couldn't i even have today, for me, w/ no shed tears. i broke down at work and had to leave for a few minutes to calm down


and he calls me insensitive


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

mymy.

he sure has learned well which buttons to push, and how to push them.

i'm sorry this wasn't more helpful, or maybe not helpful at all.

i just had to say,

mymy.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

i sent him an email asking why he did it. i said if it was purposely to hurt me, then he acheived it. i have to see him tonight when he stops by to see our daughter. i don't want to be anywhere near him, but i know he's going to seek me out to twist the blame on me. he did that the last time i called him out on his bs


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

ok, he stopped by and didn't say anything about filing for divorce today like he said he would. he didn't even say anything about the email i sent him

i'm going out to buy a new laptop this week, so i asked him about the 1 he told me about a few weeks ago. it sounds good so i'm gonna get it. i then asked if i'll be able to buy microsoft word and powerpoint for the laptop coz i need those programs for school. he said they were going to be $1000 and he could give them to me for free, all i have to do is ask. i couldn't swing $1000 so i asked him for the programs. 
now, i just looked up prices and they're only a couple of hunfred dollars. all i have to do is save for a couple of more weeks and i'll be able to afford the laptop and programs on my own. 
why would he lie about the price and offer me them for free? i already told him i didn't want any computer work from him anymore.


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## Tr000thSeeker (May 11, 2009)

You would be smart if you installed the openoffice suite from openoffice.org for free instead of paying for microsoft office suite.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

does it work the same? my school said i needed microsoft


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

you should consider researching computers for yourself sans your husband's input. that's an easy way to seperate yourself from one aspect of the husband drama.

i don't understand why you allow your estranged husband to treat you as he does; you allow yourself to be sucked into his emotional diorama like a planet into a black hole.


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## DarthQuagmire (May 12, 2009)

theres A LOT of people that no A LOT about computers and stuffs, find a cute one and ask.


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## They Call Me Smooth (May 5, 2009)

MS Office can cost a lot depending on what you get. If you buy it with the laptop you might be able to get it cheaper.

Open office is another choice. It's free and I'm 99% sure you can save as a Office97 doc which is standard. The only thing is, tool like EazyPaper wont work with it.

Also I second the idea of asking others advise for a laptop. Make a list of what you plan to use the laptop for and bring it up to BestBuy AND call Dell. Between the two they should give you an idea of what you should order.


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## Roger136913 (Apr 29, 2009)

As a student you can buy Microsoft Home and Student from Microsoft at $149.00 

Also Best buy might have the trial version on a laptop if you buy it from there...

The Home and Student 2007 version has Word, Excel, Powerpoint and One Note....

I also think Open Office will work just fine as "They call me Mr Smooth" pointed out...

If not then you can just buy the Home and Student Microsoft version for $149.00 through Mocrosoft....

Be warned....

Buting from places like Best Buy and say you buy a Dell???? You do not get a warranty!!!!!!!!!!!! Dell voids and others do also unless you buy direct from them only... Best Buy will charge you more for it... 

I would buy direct from Dell or whom ever you decide!!!!!!

Also try Newegg.com I have bought many of things from them and saved alot of money and never once had a problem!!!!!

I agree do not let him talk you into something since he likes you ruin your Day in spite he won't help much looking for a laptop for you just make you spwen more on things you don't need... Who ever you buy from tell them what you need the laptop for!!!!!!!!! If it's just for school and it comes with Vista (all do now) then you want at least 2 gigs of ram!!!!! Vista is a ram hog


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

ok, my laptop pretty much died last night, so today i picked up an hp mini at best buy. unfortunately i don't have the extra money for the programs until this weekend when i get paid and i need them now. i've got projects and reports due this week. i have no choice but to take him up on his offer for the discs coz i don't know anyone else who has them.
btw, he still hasn't mentioned anything else about divorce. i know he's flip flopping and doesn't think i'm serious when i said that he needs to straighten out or else he'll lose everything (by his own doing, not mine)
example: don't know if i mentioned this in another post, i wound up telling my sister-in-law that he wasn't coming to my niece's graduation (she needed to know how many tickets to get). and what was her response? "i wasn't counting on him anyway" 
how sad is that your own family can't count on you. 
is it possible for me to only agree to a divorce on the condition that he gets therapy?


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

you want to keep your marriage and your estranged husband is using this fact to his advantage and to your disadvantage.

you and your husband are conspiring with one another to continue your dysfunctional marriage dance because you both gain from it.

my guess is, he gains control over you, does as he pleases, while you play the victim. but that's just a guess.

as much as you may not want to hear it, you need to disengage.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

what do i gain out of it then? depression? having to have open-heart surgery sooner coz of all the stress, poverty coz i can't work the extra hours to compensate lack of his income and health insurance? 
i'll give him the divorce if he wants it. but like i said, i think he needs therapy. everyone around him agrees something's wrong w/ him and he's taking it out on me

if that sounded mean and defensive, i didn't mean it that way. just wanted to clarify a couple of things


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

i wrote quite a detailed reply but thought instead you might consider answering your own question:

'what do i gain out of it then?depression? having to have open-heart surgery sooner coz of all the stress, poverty coz i can't work the extra hours to compensate lack of his income and health insurance?'

well, if those aren't what you gain, then what is it? why are you where you are? why have you not moved on? why have you not initiated changes for your benefit?

based on how you allow your husband to treat you, why hasn't the phrase 'don't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out' yet occurred to you, and if it has, why haven't you uttered it?

ps. you should be impressed with yourself. i rarely use question marks, now look at all the question marks you've made me use.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

believe me, i told him good bye. he just won't leave eventhough he says he will


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I have read a few other stories of separation, and I can never understand why people prolong the pain. Just get the divorce over with and move on with your new life.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

i can't afford it.
if anyone wants to give me money for a lawyer and court fees....
nevermind


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## Tr000thSeeker (May 11, 2009)

wonder, what does it cost for the divorce paperwork and proceedings in your circumstance?
Try your best to stay away from microsoft software unless you know for certain that you *need* it. They get you hooked and then you will have to buy updates for compatibility in the future. OpenOffice for the most part is compatible with almost all the microsoft office file formats. I use openoffice and have to work with microsoft office documents all the time. I save my docs in microsoft office compatible format when I know they will need to be opened (by someone else) in microsoft office.
This article may be quite technical for you but check it out:
Linux.com :: Sharing files between OpenOffice.org and Microsoft Office


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

a few hundred for fourt fees and ballpark &1000 for a lawyer.

i live paycheck to paycheck and have no savings, so when i say i can't afford it, i'm not exagerating


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## Tr000thSeeker (May 11, 2009)

How is it possible to exist in one of the most advanced nations on this planet where the _government has so much control of our private individual lives_ that one cannot even *afford to seek a basic human right to get divorced from a marriage that cannot be reconciled*?
_Is it just me or is there anyone else who feels the same?_

If you are financially stressed and need to use a computer, then you might consider using Linux Ubuntu. I believe you will find almost all the software you need. You can probably use WINE (Windows Emulator) to run microsoft software that you cannot find for the Linux platform.
I would be glad to help you with the technicalities of this.
I am using a computer where I am doing exactly what I recommended to you, with no problems.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

If the divorce is uncontested, simply file the petition with the local county clerk's office. This is what my wife did. 

Only it took me 3 years to find it out it was granted and then because I wanted to be clear of her (to marry someone else - but that's a whole 'nother story)!  

The paperwork was delivered to my apartment, but I'm not home during the day and I couldn't go to the post office to pick them up (and sign for them). 

It takes a little longer for the default process to run it's course, but it only costs the filing fee (should be less than $25...I think mine was about $10-15). 

Call your county clerk and ask what it takes to file. Lawyers are handy to make sure things are (somewhat) equitable, but not necessary if uncontested. 

Even if it IS contested, there are procedures for that and the paperework will include sections for alimony, child support, income verification, etc.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

so my sister-in-law invited me out to dinner last night to talk about my husband. according to her he IS acting exactly like his father (my husband doesn't like his dad and swore he'd never be like him, funny). my brother-in-law is beyond pissed at my husband.
i called my husband this morning to tell him i was dropping off our daughter in a few minutes. i wound up waking him up, so i didn't think twice about my husband not remembering it was his weekend (i don't remember things right away when i'm woken up). i dropped her off and his other brother answers the door (this is the brother who's god to my husband and will do whatever he says). this was at 7 am so i know he got to my husband's place last night, which means they were up really late drinking (this is what they do). 
why would you stay up late drinking, knowing your small child will be w/ you 1st thing in the morning? this just once again proved my theory of him rather wanting to drink and party than be w/ his family.
my husband and daughter are over at my sister and brother-in-law's house right now. they told me they were going to tear him a new one. i'm curious about what's happening. i'll find out when i talk to her coz my husband won't say a damn thing.


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