# "she says the effort she puts into deceiving me is proof she loves me"



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

This is a letter on "Dear Abby" today, which was so ridiculous, I decided to share it with you all:

The Harder Husband Works, The More His Wife Cheats





> DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old male, married for 26 years. I am hopelessly in love with my wife and still see her as the most beautiful woman in the world.
> 
> I have always been self-employed and have sometimes been at the extremes of feast or famine. During the bad times, I often worked 110-plus-hour weeks to save the ship.
> 
> ...


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Good lord. 

The response is spot on. 

Using the word "amazing" to describe the excuse his wife is providing is putting it way too kindly.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

UGH


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

He says "she doesn't want a divorce, but she won't stop dating" like he's the one that would be losing something special.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

I don't understand how any man could accept this once, let alone 3 times, and likely countless other times. 

Dr Abby Troll?


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Jeez seems like he might have started a thread here. 

If only he had "exposed, exposed, exposed" the first time!!!

(Just yanking Theseus' chain)


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

Eject, Eject, Eject!


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Hard to believe the lies the cheaters tell themselves before they foist it on their so-called loved ones. My partner and I are reconciling but she is still self-deluded. She broke it off with the OM last year around October and I know she hasn't seen him BUT!...she will not take ownership of the 2013 e-mails & sexting. She was still in that "zone" - the excitement, the potential for it to flare up again as a PA but denies this. Hence the massive BS line she gave me at one point talking about letting him down slowly and...wait for it..."not encouraging but not entirely discouraging". Effing liars the lot of them - but we are working through it. I will have her see the significance of the communication this year whether she wants it or not, I will have her acknowledge that she was in fact laying (intentional pun) the road for more physical contact - for Christ's sake back in Feb she said she "liked his thinking" when he suggested they hook up while his wife was out of town. Effing liars the lot of them - but we are working through it.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Wow, just wow.....scary look into the mind of a wayward.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

walkonmars said:


> Jeez seems like he might have started a thread here.
> 
> If only he had "exposed, exposed, exposed" the first time!!!
> 
> (Just yanking Theseus' chain)



He might have exposed her, he doesn't say. But honestly, the husband's only realistic choices are to either to divorce and MOA or accept they have an open marriage and go with that.


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

The husband is a pathetic lost case. He will just continue with business as usual, while occasionally complaining - but not too loud, otherwise she might leave him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

tulsy said:


> I don't understand how any man could accept this once, let alone 3 times, and likely countless other times.
> 
> Dr Abby Troll?


She is the love of his life. Mother of his children. She looks at him with her sincere face on as she drones on and on about really loving him and so on and so forth.

She is able to lie to him with such facility because she believes her own lies. In fact, sadly, they are *not* lies. They are her warped perception of the reality she has helped create, programming him over 27 years.

*Now do you understand how it might happen?*


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Sadly, it has the classic elements of the stories of infidelity here from many BH's. You have:


The BH typically posts that his WW is so hot, sexy, and beautiful
The BH loves her so, so much
The WW is strongly hinted at being a SAHM since at times he has to work 110 hr weeks to keep up with the bills. That's damn near 16 hrs a day. 
The BH feels its his fault that his WW cheats on him because he can't provide her the money and attention
Of course, the WW doesn't want a divorce. She's a classic cake eater. Where else can she find a man that will take her back continually after she's caught cheating and who will continue to work 110 hr weeks to pay the bills? 

Numbersixxx is right. The problem is that one day he might snap from the pressure and something violent may occur, he might either do harm to himself, or to his WW, or both.


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Horizon said:


> for Christ's sake back in Feb she said she "liked his thinking" when he suggested they hook up while his wife was out of town. Effing liars the lot of them - but we are working through it.


OMfkingG :scratchhead:


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Hmm, just goes to show what men will put with for "hot, sexy, and beautiful".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Yeiks


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## Mtts (Apr 16, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Hmm, just goes to show what men will put with for "hot, sexy, and beautiful".
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Harsh truth. Too many in fact. Oh well, that's what you get with todays media fed man children. 

I'd prefer alone to cheating any day of the week.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Mtts said:


> Harsh truth. Too many in fact. Oh well, that's what you get with todays media fed man children.
> 
> *I'd prefer alone to cheating any day of the week*.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Abby caught me off guard on this one...it almost looked like she got her response straight from the TAM vets. I have not always agreed with some of her infidelity responses.(for the most part I do)

I was expecting her to go both ways with siding with both the wayward and the betrayed but she nailed this one. I was actually expecting her to call Hopeless In Love out on him neglecting his POSWW.

Abby if in fact you are now here in this forum...then welcome aboard...LOL


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

Looks like an ideal candidate for hotwifing.

Sad, really.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Rags said:


> Looks like an ideal candidate for hotwifing.
> 
> Sad, really.


Already happening, she doesn't deny anymore. She is demanding a cuckold/hotwife relationship or at least a onesided open marriage. This or he file, she doesn't care.


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