# Things are looking up



## *Aceso* (Oct 25, 2008)

I just wanted to let you all know that things are looking up for me and my husband. We have been talking a lot lately (without yelling at each other) and I think we have both realized that we have made mistakes along the way. The more he was playing up the more I tried to control things until we got to the point when we both felt like we are having a "mother/child" relationship. Never a good thing, right?
Anyway, that is all changing now for the better. We have made a deal tonight that we are starting from the beginning from tomorrow. Neither one of us is allowed to bring things from past into new arguments and we are going to keep on talking more. I know it will be hard to stick to it but like I said, it's a new beginning. We will just have to learn to trust each other again. There is no way that I can forget why I fell in love with him in the first place so if there is a little chance that I might get all those things back, I'll take it. 
I am also happy to say that I have taken up painting again after 7 years. I was at the shop on Tuesday just doing some Xmas shopping when I saw oil paints and without even thinking, I bought them and that night after kids went to bed I set up for hours just painting. I felt like "me" again. :smthumbup:
And I missed THAT "me".


----------



## justean (May 28, 2008)

i think getin the "you " back can make all the difference to situations like this.
you just have to remember to keep that factor going , its so important. 
your right on the child/mother factor. i totally agree. not a good thing.


----------



## *Aceso* (Oct 25, 2008)

I think you are right about everything and I am deffinitly going to keep on going.  There were so many things I used to love but I put them on the back burner for ages. It's time to go back to some of them and try new things too that I might like. I am not 100% the same person I was and there is nothing wrong with that. We change and we grow. This is new "me" without losing my old "me" if that makes any sense.?


----------



## valium (Sep 22, 2008)

I really hope it works for you. people do need "me" time. I do that sometimes as well. I am not sure if I am just past that stage at the moment as we have tried and it gets better for so long and then goes downhill. I have kep a diary for over six months now to see the pattern and if I am having a bad day i look at the diary to try and remind myself it is not me that has the problem.

Anyway good luck


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

*Aceso* said:


> Anyway, that is all changing now for the better. We have made a deal tonight that we are starting from the beginning from tomorrow. Neither one of us is allowed to bring things from past into new arguments and we are going to keep on talking more. I know it will be hard to stick to it but like I said, it's a new beginning. We will just have to learn to trust each other again.



Good for you to set boundries and putting communications in the forefront of your relationship. Keep us updated on your progress.

draconis


----------



## justean (May 28, 2008)

*Aceso* said:


> I think you are right about everything and I am deffinitly going to keep on going.  There were so many things I used to love but I put them on the back burner for ages. It's time to go back to some of them and try new things too that I might like. I am not 100% the same person I was and there is nothing wrong with that. We change and we grow. This is new "me" without losing my old "me" if that makes any sense.?


no doubt at some point this will happen again.

we all put things on the back burner and the cycle starts again.

but thats when you have to start again.
and you keep on doing it. 
you keep reinventing, but you have to do this to accept change in life and what life brings and change with it.


----------



## *Aceso* (Oct 25, 2008)

> we have tried and it gets better for so long and then goes downhill.


Yeah, VAlium, I know what you mean but I refuse to look at things that way. We made an agreement that we are going to forget about all the things in the past and we'll start from fresh. It is working and we have been spending so much time together in the past week or so and haven't argued even once. 
The other day we were putting Xmas lights up (it's a very big thing in our street ) and it took us about 7 hours to do that cause we kept on laughing so much. I nearly fell of the roof once. By the end of the day we had most of the people in our little street in our front yard because they wanted to see what was it all about.  It was a great day and every other day was pretty much the same. Once again, I am looking forward to going home from work. My husband has been so good with housework as well and taking care of the kids on his own as he has few weeks off of work. And you know what he said the other day:"You are a Wonder Woman, hon. I never thought about it before, but after doing all this work around the house every day and spending time with kids I don't know how you do it all and work 40-70 hours a week." Him finally realizing it felt so amazing. He opened his eyes over the last week or so and I opened my heart.  When I'm doing things for kids and him now I feel like I'm doing it because I WANT to and out of love and not because I HAVE to. Do you know how good that feels? :smthumbup: Everything is so much easier. 
Even people at work noticed a difference. THey have all been asking me if I am using a different skin care because I am "glowing". So it must be true what they say "When you are happy on the inside it really shows on the outside."


----------



## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Good for you, Ace!! I'm so glad to hear things are getting better! Please keep us informed about how it's going...we all need encouraging stories!


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Wow, great update Aceso!


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

That’s great Aceso

Glad things are looking up for you. Even your new avatar looks great.


----------



## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

That's awesome! Great to hear a success story! Good for you!


----------



## *Aceso* (Oct 25, 2008)

Amplexor said:


> Even your new avatar looks great.


:smthumbup: Yeah! I love Wonder Woman. Hell, I wanted to be Wonder Woman when I grow up. LOL!

Thank you , guys for your congrats. This place really helped me get my life in order. Thank you all for letting me vent and opening my eyes. Hugs to you all. :toast:


----------

