# Clients



## Shutterbug2244 (Mar 18, 2021)

I’ve been married to my husband for 20 years, I know he loves me and over the years I’ve seen him chat or make conversations with women he finds attractive but I could tell it’s just to feed his own ego and he loves getting a boost. Those types of situations never led or went anywhere. Well anyhow, we run a business together and I could tell he finds one particular client attractive because his face always lights up and he makes more of an effort to converse with her more than other clients.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Sounds like she (the client) is handling it for you.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

ccpowerslave said:


> Sounds like she (the client) is handling it for you.


This. The impression I got from reading your post is that your husband either came on to strong or just flat out creeped her out.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Not said:


> This. The impression I got from reading your post is that your husband either came on to strong or just flat out creeped her out.


We need a creeper expert to chime in here.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

Sounds like he has a bit of a history with this behavior, though a bit strong this time. I agree with others here, she may be settling this for you. Flirting is one thing, most of us engage in some version of that, but the behavior you describe seems over the top. I'd sit down with him and help him get his bearings straight. This is embarrassing to you as a spouse and bad for business. He needs to knock it off.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

How long have the two of you had this client?

Has he always been like this with her?

Have you heard any of their conversations, does she treat your husband the same as he treats her?

I would ask your husband what is up with this client. That his moods changes don’t seem right to you. Ask what he would think if you were overly flirty with one particular client. Or act like he does with one. 

Have a friend call in as a client and put on a show. See what your husband’s reaction is.


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## Shutterbug2244 (Mar 18, 2021)

Thank you all for the responses. He hasn’t mentioned her or contacted her since that time. I have full access to his phone and social media. I feel like if this behavior develops again if she orders I will definitely call him out on it.
I think she settled it for me too.


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## Shutterbug2244 (Mar 18, 2021)

FlaviusMaximus said:


> Sounds like he has a bit of a history with this behavior, though a bit strong this time. I agree with others here, she may be settling this for you. Flirting is one thing, most of us engage in some version of that, but the behavior you describe seems over the top. I'd sit down with him and help him get his bearings straight. This is embarrassing to you as a spouse and bad for business. He needs to knock it off.


It’s been a month since this happened and he’s hasn’t brought her up or mentioned her and he hasn’t contacted or via social media/text. He’s been attentive and loving to me and tells me there’s no one else meant for him but me and that he’s the luckiest guy to have me. He had told me these things since we sat down to talk and check in on our marriage and he gives me lots of affection. Should I still bring this up to him? It bothers me but I’m a naturally insecure person. Should I let it go and move forward? I was going to wait and see if his behavior would continue with her if she ever orders again. What do you think?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I suggest you get some serious counseling for your insecurities. This situation is still bothering you. He's your husband, so why would you be hesitant to bring it up? Have a calm, rational discussion. Admit you are insecure - that's yours to own. Explain why you feel the way you do. If he blows you off, at least you'll know he doesn't care if this bothers you. But don't tiptoe around about stuff like this. JMO.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

If you’re sure this is a one-off, I’d probably let it go provided that is the whole of it and nothing else happened or is happening. His friendly chats with other women will always remind you of this incident but otherwise I’d say those “chats” seem harmless. However, if it's still bothering you bring it up.


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## Shutterbug2244 (Mar 18, 2021)

FlaviusMaximus said:


> If you’re sure this is a one-off, I’d probably let it go provided that is the whole of it and nothing else happened or is happening. His friendly chats with other women will always remind you of this incident but otherwise I’d say those “chats” seem harmless. However, if it's still bothering you bring it up.


Yea I figure it was one time thing and things are really good now and he’s never cheated and wants to be better. I wish I wasn’t insecure. I know men are visual and they have ego and feel good knowing an attractive woman finds them attractive and vice versa for women as well. It does bother me he was so giddy after she left he was singing to himself I wanted smack that smile off his face lol. If an attractive man found me attractive I would probably feel good too but not make it so obvious like my husband.


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## Shutterbug2244 (Mar 18, 2021)

Prodigal said:


> I suggest you get some serious counseling for your insecurities. This situation is still bothering you. He's your husband, so why would you be hesitant to bring it up? Have a calm, rational discussion. Admit you are insecure - that's yours to own. Explain why you feel the way you do. If he blows you off, at least you'll know he doesn't care if this bothers you. But don't tiptoe around about stuff like this. JMO.


Does it seem ridiculous if it’s been a month since it happened? If you were me would this bother you too?


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Shutterbug2244 said:


> Does it seem ridiculous if it’s been a month since it happened? If you were me would this bother you too?


It would bother me. It would probably bother me a lifetime. My husband would never ogle or flirt or do anything like that no matter how good looking a woman was. But that is one of the things I love him for. 

You may or may not need to bring up this woman but boundaries are a good topic of conversation.

I always go both ways too. I'd look at myself and our relationship. Am I providing things that he needs. Words of affirmation. Affection. Sex. Am I out of mommy and business mode an in relationship mode when we are home relaxing?


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## Shutterbug2244 (Mar 18, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> It would bother me. It would probably bother me a lifetime. My husband would never ogle or flirt or do anything like that no matter how good looking a woman was. But that is one of the things I love him for.
> 
> You may or may not need to bring up this woman but boundaries are a good topic of conversation.
> 
> I always go both ways too. I'd look at myself and our relationship. Am I providing things that he needs. Words of affirmation. Affection. Sex. Am I out of mommy and business mode an in relationship mode when we are home relaxing?


Yea those are things we touched base on. I noticed we weren’t having sex like we were so we both agreed to work on that more and it’s been better.


Anastasia6 said:


> It would bother me. It would probably bother me a lifetime. My husband would never ogle or flirt or do anything like that no matter how good looking a woman was. But that is one of the things I love him for.
> 
> You may or may not need to bring up this woman but boundaries are a good topic of conversation.
> 
> I always go both ways too. I'd look at myself and our relationship. Am I providing things that he needs. Words of affirmation. Affection. Sex. Am I out of mommy and business mode an in relationship mode when we are home relaxing?


I ended up bringing it up and he didn’t realize his behavior at the time. She naturally has an outgoing and vivacious personality so he feels more at ease conversing with her and kind of mirrors her tone and he converses with other clients but it’s more business tone and doesn’t sound as friendly and personable. She is also our biggest client so he wanted to give more samples in order to keep them as clients and maybe they would purchase more orders but I know my husband very well and I knew he was charmed by her but just won’t admit to it. He assured me it’s all business and he loves me so I feel at ease at least he knows how I truly feel moving forward. We also discussed flirting and boundaries and went over other aspects of our marriage we can both work on. He was all for it. He had said to me men are clueless and just need to be told because they won’t know until you say something.


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