# Is this crossing the line?



## moonflower (Oct 20, 2009)

My husband and I have been married 10 years. 

My husband and I help @ a local youth club. This past Saturday we helped with a lock-in. The club director was the only other adult supervisor for the evening. We stayed up after the kids went 2 sleep. We talked for a while. I had been feeling bad all night. So I decided 2 lay down. I though my husband would follow. He didn't. He & the director (a women) stayed up all night together. 

I normally don't get jealous. This one had really been bothering me.

Did they cross the line on this or am I being silly?


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I wouldn't like that one bit nor would my husband like it if I was staying up with another man like that. I think it's inappropriate.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I don't see the big deal, but I also don't know your husband. Now had you asked him to join you and he said no, maybe that would be different, but my husband if awfully dense to things I think should be obvious, because they aren't to him. I would just tell him you would have really appreciated it if he would have come to bed with you since you weren't feeling well. If there is some history with yout hubby and you are having trust issues, then that changes it altogether though! Best of luck honey!


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## gardener1965 (Oct 20, 2009)

Was an adult supposed to stay awake to keep an eye on things? Or could your husband have felt that he should keep her company if she was staying up, even if it wasn't discussed? Just a thought. I wouldn't be happy about it either, but it is possible he felt he "should" keep her company, out of a sense of duty? Like I said, just a thought.


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## ChimeIn (Oct 10, 2009)

I wouldn't make a big deal out of that... it's doesn't come up often, right? Especially if he doesn't "see" her at other times, in any other scenario than the youth club.

My husband might feel like it was his responsibility to stay awake all night. In case of emergency, in case the director needed back-up, in case one of the kids got too rowdy... there's a million reasons why a man would feel the need to stay awake and alert on a night like that. JMO.


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## Recovered (Oct 8, 2009)

moonflower said:


> My husband and I have been married 10 years.
> 
> My husband and I help @ a local youth club. This past Saturday we helped with a lock-in. The club director was the only other adult supervisor for the evening......He & the director (a women) stayed up all night together.
> 
> Did they cross the line on this or am I being silly?


I wasn't there, but my thought is that you're being silly. As a former youth club kid who participated in a whole bunch of these lock-ins when I was that age....a handful of the adults were up all night at each and every one of them....to keep an eye on the kids.

If I were your husband, I probably would have felt a responsibility to stay up with this other person (woman or not) since they were the only other adult supervision. After all, that's what you were there for...to help supervise the kids.


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## larniegrl (Oct 7, 2009)

You have to get over the initial emotions, and then have a conversation with him. If this is the first thing you have noticed that made you uneasy...he may be completely blind to it. Sometimes, men just need a little of the "when you did this, even if it was innocent, this is how it made me feel..."

I had a similar convo with my hubby about his boundaries with other females friends and come to find out he had never heard of an "emotional affair"...very interesting.


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## KSimpson99 (Jul 13, 2009)

Were they around the kids, or off on their own, or do you know?

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt as long as you think he was helping look after the kids.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Recovered said:


> I wasn't there, but my thought is that you're being silly. As a former youth club kid who participated in a whole bunch of these lock-ins when I was that age....a handful of the adults were up all night at each and every one of them....to keep an eye on the kids.
> 
> If I were your husband, I probably would have felt a responsibility to stay up with this other person (woman or not) since they were the only other adult supervision. After all, that's what you were there for...to help supervise the kids.


OK, let's see. There to supervise kids, lots of kids. Your husband was so not out of line for staying up. Why didn't you just stay up too? 

Think of it. Do yo really think he was going to fool around with that lady when they were surrounded by the whole bunch of kids, you, and other adults?

This is an example of your insecurities getting the best of you.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

What else is going on that you would assume this is inappropriate, or 'crossing a line'?


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