# Sex is Painful After Childbirth! :(



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Haven't been on here in quite a while, our new baby is keeping us busy!

But last night she was asleep... Hubby and I had some beers, conversation and some flirting ensued... And I was horrified to learn sex is painful after childbirth! 

It's been 19 days since my daughter was born, and I did tear, (needing three stitches), but I was surprised at how much pain ensued. This is the 2nd time we've had sex since her birth, (the first time I was on pain meds and I guess didn't feel as much and that was 10 days after the birth).

I felt like a virgin, (not in a good way lol) and the only way we could continue was with me on top, and verrrry slowly. I'm wondering if this is common? And if so, about how long should it be before we can have pain-free sex?

(On a side note, hubby went "downtown" last night and said he had no complaints...  In fact he had compliments! After being "cut off" for so long that was a welcome surprise!  )

Hoping you all are having a splendid afternoon! 
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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

She's doing great! Eats constantly and never sleeps! I mean, she is *always* awake, looking around and being way too alert for her age! LoL!! She's a total angel, I'm so in love with her! 

Three or four weeks? Yikes! LoL! Hoping I heal up in that time frame. The pain was very distracting! 
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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

good to see you back yin.
hope that gets better for you soon.
hope all else is well.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

6 weeks is recommended time. Especially if you tore or were stitched.

That's 42 days.

Healing after birth can take at least 3 weeks. I didn't stop bleeding for 6 weeks with both.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Holy cow! Two years? That's somethin' else! I'm pretty sure it's the tear that I'm feeling is painful - but it sure feels like I'm "tighter" too (sorry for the TMI), not at all what I expected after passing a baby... LoL!!!

Lady - you have no idea - she looks like a porcelain doll with her red hair and blue eyes/fair skin!  (I'm so jealous of her red hair - I always wanted it, and both my sister and brother got it. I got stuck being a brunette lol) 
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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

I'm glad things are good. Congrats again on your baby. That girl is right. I was always told to wait 6 weeks to have sex after my children were born. Not to mention you are highly fertile during this time.
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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

So Uh, I don't want to scare you, but it took me a full year before the pain went away. I had a third degree tear with a laceration of my labia that took a plastic surgeon an hour to stitch up. My husband stood by my side during all of childbirth and almost passed out when all of that was happening. Sorry, TMI. Anyway, yes the normal recommendation is at least six weeks. Reason is that your cervix remains open for many weeks after birth and it is easy to introduce infection that way. It took me six months to stop feeling excruciating pain and a year before I felt 100% normal again. I have to tell you that the tightness feeling probably wont go away. I have that feeling too and now that its painless its actually a nice side effect. 
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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

With my first, waited 6 weeks. I had torn and was stitched. WOW did it ever hurt for a few months after that when I had sex.

With my 2nd, I didn't tear or anything so we waited 2 weeks and all was well.

Wait longer. Let your body heal. Do other things in the mean time.

And get on BC :rofl:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Nothin' cures that baby itch like spending it with what that baby turns into in a few years :rofl:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Wow six weeks? Guess we jumped the gun there lol Couldn't help it - hubby has been so awesome to me and baby since she was born!

TG - Hubby has already scheduled his V for next month - but I do know that BC is needed for at least another few months until he gets the "all clear"  He doesn't want to rely on other methods since we were using both hormones and condoms when we got preggers to begin with. 

I'd so post a pic if I could - she really is one of the prettiest babies I've ever seen, and I'm not just saying that because she's mine! (I was "prepared" for Franken-Baby by a well-meaning friend) LoL! She reminds me of those vintage porcelain baby dolls that have the "beddy-bye-eyes" that "blink" when you tilt them. She is gonna be a knock-out! 
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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'm so glad you're in love with your baby 

But go slow with the sex. Didn't the doc tell you 6 weeks? that's all they told me LOL!


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

YP - Your baby sounds beautiful and you sound so happy. Wonderful.
That lack of sleeps a torture isn't it though!!

I reckon 19 days is really early too.. 2 1/2 weeks after pushing something the size of a mooses head out of your most sensitive areas... maybe find other things to do... just as fun and sexy but less painful.

On another note.... I''ve got three kids, all V births and I've never had pain issues after the births despite having quite a few stitches all 3 times..mindyou I waited a good month..


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

TG - they didn't mention anything about sex while I was at the hospital. Or give me any kind of discharge or care info for myself or baby... Now that I think about it, it would have been entirely relevant and helpful! LoL! My only complaint after the hospital was that they wouldn't give me bottles to feed my daughter, even though my milk hadn't come in yet, (took almost a week). They were right that my baby needed to stimulate me into producing it, but I felt like I was starving her! (As it is now she'll nurse up to 30 minutes on each side and STILL eat 4 ounces of formula afterwards)! She's a champ when it comes to putting away food! LoL! 

As for sex, thinking that hubby and I can hold off and focus on getting reacquainted with the "alternatives" we've been missing out on!  So glad hubby had wonderful things to say last night - I was pretty nervous! LoL! 
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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Milk always takes time to come in and you weren't starving her  She needs that colostrum and bottles may have given her nipple confusion.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I've heard of nipple confusion - thank goodness my baby takes bottles and boob without issues. I mainly breastfeed her, but since she always acts like she's starving, even after breastfeeding, I let hubby give her some formula. Good bonding time for them, (and a break for me) lol 
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