# Grief with separation



## Maw139 (Aug 24, 2012)

3 weeks ago my husband told me he didn't love me anymore and wanted to live on his own. I was shocked. I felt I was having an out of body experience. You see, we had a wonderful marriage. He was caring and loving. Everyone thought of us as a couple who would be together forever. I was so happy. We had plans for our future and had not long returned from a fabulous holiday. He was the love of my life. I worshipped the ground he walked on and I thought he felt the same. I've pleaded for him to come with me to counseling. He doesn't want to do anything to save our marriage. It's over, just like that. My world has come crashing down and I am filled with despair. He's had real estate agents in to sell our home. I'm trying to work and look for another home as well as coping with this awful grief. My future looks like a black hole of nothing. I feel disconnected from everything and everyone. The thought of him with someone else is torturing me. He says there is no one but why would he lock down his phone. 

I've been reading other people's posts and I hope that one day there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. It just doesn't seem real. All my plans and hopes have been shattered.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. You need to focus on yourself now as you are going through this.


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## J Valley (Jun 28, 2012)

Was your husband acting strange before he broke the news? Were there any signs that may give rise to some suspicions?

From your post, it doesn't seem that you are at fault. There must be some underlying reason for the breaking up.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

He can only sell the house with your permission.

Get in a file for possession of the home. You can only sell it if you are forced to sell it.

Tell him to leave and you stay in the house and tell him to get a judge to order you out.

Are there children involved in this?


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## Maw139 (Aug 24, 2012)

My husband had been sick and I encouraged him to go to the doctor. They found he had ulcers. I thought it was because of his demanding job. It turns out he had been thinking about leaving while we were on our holiday. So it was a total shock when he told me he didn't love me anymore. 

He has two teenage children who I love dearly. I have been with this man for 9 years and love him from the start. Mine are adults and are providing wonderful support.

I don't understand where it went wrong. I was a devoted, loyal and loving wife who always put him first.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

Maw139 said:


> My husband had been sick and I encouraged him to go to the doctor. They found he had ulcers. I thought it was because of his demanding job. It turns out he had been thinking about leaving while we were on our holiday. So it was a total shock when he told me he didn't love me anymore.
> 
> He has two teenage children who I love dearly. I have been with this man for 9 years and love him from the start. Mine are adults and are providing wonderful support.
> 
> I don't understand where it went wrong. I was a devoted, loyal and loving wife who always put him first.


Did he give you any explanation to when this started, why he started feeling like this?


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## Maw139 (Aug 24, 2012)

No, he didn't. He just said that he started to feel like this just after after our holiday. He said he wasn't in love with me anymore. He's now removed his wedding ring and he is really eager to sell our home. He wants to be friends and doesn't want me angry with him. I'm too devastated to be angry. How can I be angry when I love him so much. I wish I could be angry but i can't.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

It is terrible but you need to move on unfortunately. Are you currently employed?


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## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

Hi i to know how you are feeling like many others here if he truly does not feel for you any more you have little choice but accept the situation but go and get legal advice quick and put your claim in for the house any chance that you can buy him out i know that it will leave many memory's in the house but will cut down on your problems of finding some where to live and give you a place you know with friends and neighbours close by to support you while you heal and heal you will with support this is something i did so all that changed in my life was no partner no wife but stability i am truly sorry for you situation and feel for it is no fun but no matter how you feel now as time goes by it will get better that i can promise. you will still have feelings for him for some time to come they will get less my very best wishes


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## Maw139 (Aug 24, 2012)

Thank you for listening to me. You're right frank29, I don't have a choice but it is a bitter pill to swallow.

Chiben, yes I do have a full time job and people there who support me. My husband works at the same place but it is a huge department. Everyone knows about us being happily married and I now feel humiliated. Like I'm a fool, an idiot.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

Maw139 said:


> Thank you for listening to me. You're right frank29, I don't have a choice but it is a bitter pill to swallow.
> 
> Chiben, yes I do have a full time job and people there who support me. My husband works at the same place but it is a huge department. Everyone knows about us being happily married and I now feel humiliated. Like I'm a fool, an idiot.


You dont need to feel humiliated. You didnt do anything wrong. He comes out of the blue and does this. You just need to keep yourself busy going through this. Go out and have fun... It is easier said then done but if he is done with you, then you should be done with him even more.


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## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

listen Maw 139 you are no fool or an idiot it was not you who wanted to separate you were happy and content with life you were in for life 
i only wish my X felt the same so do not reproach your self grab the bull by the horns and show just what that X of yours has lost someone like you is as rare as an orchid lucky to have some one who really cares so bolt on a smile you have plenty of support here


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