# The title of this forum is too close to home



## nearlyhopeless (Feb 22, 2009)

I recently searched out love and marriage forums looking for any sort of support and understanding, or simply, an answer. When I seen that this site had a forum for anxiety and depression issues I stopped my search and registered imediately. I have gone through a few of the postings in here just to make sure that this is the place for me to be right now. At this time I believe it could be.

I met my girlfriend almost a year ago in late February. She was in a relationship with a meth user who had absolutely destroyed his life and hers. He caused her to lose her job and her house. He completely ripped her off and left her with nothing. I somehow fell in love with this woman almost instantly based on the stuff that makes it all happen; prettiest smile you ever seen, sexy, fun and bubbly attitude. All the great things that I personally hope to have in my life some day.

She has anxiety and depression problems that require constant daily medication and with that comes all the side-effects including the weakened desire for sex. Due to her chemical imbalance and being on meds, fights have happened between us over the most childish and rediculous reasons ever. I could easily write a story that would have anyone at the edge of their seat in regards to some of the many med-induced fights. Since she came into my life I have gotten her away from meth and the meth users, I helped her stop drinking and as far as her father is concerned, I am the best thing that has ever happened to her. Her own mother told me that she has never been in a successful relationship due to the chemical imbalance. To date, it appears that this is the only time in her life that she has actually been successful at taking her meds.

She lives with me and has spoken of getting a ring someday. That's just fine by me. There is nothing more I want than to give her a ring and have her say "I do". I have been waiting for a sign that our nearly total lack of sex would change by now. As much as I love this woman, I could never ask her to marry me if this is going to be our sex life. She says she wants to make this work but I don't see her coming up with any ideas or answers. This woman gives me what I need except for sex.

My question is, do people on anxiety and depression meds ever have a normal sexual relationship? Is this just the way it is? I'm looking for a long-term partner but I just can't seem to figure out the sex part. I love her more than anything but I'm more than certain that she doesn't take this problem as serious as I need her to.

If I'm asking too much I will have to move on. If there is a way to get past this hang-up I will have something real to look forward to. I'm a scorpio, I love pationately and I'm not sure of how much more of this I can withstand.

How do you deal with your partner when thay have to be on these meds??? I try to be as understanding as possible but does it ever change?


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## broo (Feb 17, 2009)

It will never get better, only worse. You have chosen to fall in love with someone who is completely broken. Drugs like meth and pot during adolence can cause severe and permanent mental impairments resulting in lifelong anxiety and depression. You are at the stage in a relationship that is usually considered a sexual peak. 
If you can't handle the monkery now, it will be getting worse later on. Most likely the mental problems will too. 

You are at a crossroads. You can abandon her because you know she will ultimately destroy your life. She will probably revert to drugs and you will always feel responsible.

Or, if you are a hopeless romantic, you can commit now to destroying your life and the lives of your children now by marrying someone who is broken, resolving that your sex life will be limited to non-existant, and committing now to stick with her through thick and thin no matter what, realizing that she may wake-up sexually some day and it may not be you she is interested in.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

If she has no sex drive now, she wont get it later. it will only get worse. usually the beginnings of a relationship are when each other tries to impress the other, so image what'll happen when that phase wears off.


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