# Wife not dressing well



## Grieves12 (Feb 22, 2016)

Since having had our second child a year ago, my wife put on some weight which she hasn't lost yet (completely understandable, I have too!). But she continues to wear some of her same clothes from before the pregnancy, and she seems to think new clothes she buys will fit like they did before as well.

This may sound petty, but it really bothers me is when her butt crack shows. When she bends down it always seems to and it drives me nuts. Around the house I don't care but she plans on wearing jeans to work where her butt will show if she has to bend at all. It's embarrassing.

I tell her she can't go to work like that. She has some new jeans which fit better but when I tell her to change out of a bad fitting pair she gets upset at me and thinks I am being an a**hole.

She's been back at work a month and has not bought her self belts or proper undershirts. Granted we are busy with the kids and have limited time.

She does not seem to care if her butt shows but it drives me nuts!!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

i'm a butt crack fan, so i won't be able to help you.

have you talked to her about this? what does she say?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Many people find the crack to be sexy, both seer and show-er. What really bothers you? Her crack showing or her weight gain. Your first sentence implies the weight gain. 

Let this one slide and stop being an a** hole. All she is hearing is that you think she is fat. Wife probably does not want to admit defeat and buy larger clothes. You lose the weight first. Then she might follow.


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## Peaf (Feb 8, 2016)

Nothing wrong with telling her that her crack showing is not acceptable. 

My H told me after I went vegan that I wasn't as toned as I used to be and we went and bought some rice protein. 

Sometimes we don't realize how we look, and its our spouses responsibility to help us out with that. 

It's also her responsibility to maintain a certain appearance.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Her crack didn't use to show. He doesn't care about the weight gain. He cares about the crack showing. The reason he mentioned that weight gain is so people will understand why her crack is showing now.

Why don't you take her shopping for new clothes? You can hire a babysitter. Take her out to lunch and shopping. Buy her some accessories to go with her new clothes, like a new pair of earrings, necklace, or something pretty. Tell her she is beautiful and you don't want other people looking at her beautiful bottom.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

OP, are you doing your fair share of helping with the kids so that your wife has time to run or hit the gym?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> OP, are you doing your fair share of helping with the kids so that your wife has time to run or hit the gym?


That is not the issue. Re-read the original post. The weight gain is not the problem for him.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

CynthiaDe said:


> That is not the issue. Re-read the original post. The weight gain is not the problem for him.


Thank you for answering the question I put to the OP. It is great that you are here to answer for him, since you know the answer.


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## Grieves12 (Feb 22, 2016)

Thanks for the replies.

Both kids are asleep by 8pm. So she has time to go to the gym at night but she is usually too tired. I know that with time we'll be less tired and will have time for stuff like that again.

The issue is really with the butt showing. It's not a ton of weight gain (maybe 15 lbs), but enough given she is petite that her old clothes don't fit. What bothers me is her lack of caring about it and the fact that it really bothers me but she doesn't do anything about it.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Well, I can't think of anything more uncomfortable than busting out of clothes that are too tight.

I agree that there is nothing attractive about looking like an overstuffed sausage in clothes that don't fit. Why don't you take her shopping and help her pick out 3 new pairs of pants/jeans and some undershirts? Your treat.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Yes. this is petty

Yes, she is too tired to go to the gym at 8 pm after dealing with two kids/work/dinner/house.

No, you telling her what is and isn't "acceptable" to you is not ok. She is a grown woman who can wear what she likes.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> Thank you for answering the question I put to the OP. It is great that you are here to answer for him, since you know the answer.


You're welcome.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Toss quarters.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

I don't think this is petty at all. You don't want other people looking at your wife's butt hanging out of her clothes. I get that. I would not like it if my husband's butt was hanging out of his clothes either.

Encourage her and let her know she is still beautiful to you. Don't tell her once, but keep it up and do things for her that show her how you feel.
There are any number of reasons why she hasn't gone shopping for better fitting clothes.
Have you asked her why she hasn't bought new clothes?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

OP, you mentioned being embarrassed by your wife's ill fitting clothes. Does she dress like this when she goes out in public with you?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Pluto2 said:


> Yes. this is petty
> 
> Yes, she is too tired to go to the gym at 8 pm after dealing with two kids/work/dinner/house.
> 
> No, you telling her what is and isn't "acceptable" to you is not ok. She is a grown woman who can wear what she likes.


I get this, but I think there's room for, well, call it "helpful commentary" for lack of a better term.

My wife pointed out to me a while back that I needed to think about buying pants with a larger waist because I was starting to do the muffin top thing. Well, I didn't want her to be bothered by that, but chose to lose 5-8 pounds rather than buy new clothes.

Stuff like that can happen if you don't spend much time looking at a mirror, and I took my wife's comments in good spirit.


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## sillysophie (Feb 20, 2016)

I don't think anyone should go out in public with their butt crack showing, even if it's only when they bend over. It's disgusting and I don't think most people want to see it. Maybe you should take her out and point it out to her on other people and see what she thinks of it. Maybe it would get the point across.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

sillysophie said:


> Maybe you should take her out and point it out to her on other people and see what she thinks of it. Maybe it would get the point across.


Yes, or sneak a picture of her from behind the next time she bends down. Then show it to her and ask her what she thinks... 

Then promptly delete it.


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## Peaf (Feb 8, 2016)

"No, you telling her what is and isn't "acceptable" to you is not ok. She is a grown woman who can wear what she likes."

As long as she doesn't mind it when he's no longer attracted to her, or doesn't want to be seem with her and her crack in public. 

This is a huge problem with women. We seem to think that men should be attracted to us just because they are married to us. So lots of us stop trying to look pretty, dress nice, put on makeup, fix our hair... and then get mad when he notices someone who does do all that. 

She doesn't have to lose weight, but damn, make an effort to at least be presentable. 
I don't think asking her to cover her butt is that big of a request.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

She is in denial. If she keeps wearing the same clothes as before, then she doesn't have to face the fact that she still has some weight to lose. And I don't think its petty at all that her husband is concerned about how she presents herself and the fact that her ass hangs out.


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## Lynn508 (Feb 16, 2016)

If my husband was walking around in ill-fitting clothes with his crack showing, you better bet I'd say something. It's not about the weight, it's about decency!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I wonder if anyone at work notices this, too?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

*Deidre* said:


> I wonder if anyone at work notices this, too?


I am sure the male coworkers notice. :moon:


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> I am sure the male coworkers notice. :moon:


I finally see the need for that emoji lol


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

A lot of times it's really depressing to buy clothes in a size that you don't want to stay in. 

I think your wife needs some loving encouragement. I loved the idea of getting a babysitter, taking her to lunch and shopping and letting her know you don't want anyone else looking at her "beautiful bottom" 

I would suggest talking this over with her before hand and letting her know that it's important to you that she FEELS good about herself so you're willing to buy her interim clothes (between sizes) If you talk about it up front she'll be aware of what your plan is and you don't end up in the store trying to convince her to buy pants when she wants a purse (or whatever) and she ends up feeling tricked somehow when you tell her why. 
(Store fights are the worst imo.)

Good luck. 

And btw it IS your business what she wears. I always feel loved when my hubby says, "wow babe, there's a lotta boob showing in that shirt. I love it, but please change before you go out cause I don't wanna share."


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