# Cell phone is the problem



## Francismae2019 (Apr 4, 2019)

I know that he is using his cell phone to contact OW. He doesn't let it out of his sight, ever, so I'm not able to have any access to it. I see the phone bill and texts to various numbers repeatedly but always different numbers after a few days. Reverse lookups show no info. Any ideas on how to spy on his texts without having to gain access to his phone?


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

The user is the problem, not the cell phone.

If you have to do all of this, just end it.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

If you know he is cheating, what is there to learn from the phone? Is this to gather information for a divorce?


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

It's not like if you took away the phone, the underlying problem would magically vanish.


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## Francismae2019 (Apr 4, 2019)

After I signed out I realized how it sounded like I was blaming the cell phone... not what I meant. He's the problem of course but I'm having trouble figuring out how or if I can get info from it. Lol


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## Francismae2019 (Apr 4, 2019)

Look, I appreciate your input because I know exactly what you are all getting at. I'm not an idiot in denial, I'm well aware of who is at fault and that I am going to leave. I get it, but I'm not letting him off the hook that easy, (nothing violent). I'm just looking for guidance about the "problem" I'm having getting what I need, info from his cell phone. I'm guessing I'm not in the right forum? Thank you anyway.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Francismae2019 said:


> After I signed out I realized how it sounded like I was blaming the cell phone... not what I meant. He's the problem of course but I'm having trouble figuring out how or if I can get info from it. Lol


But why? Why do you need to know exactly what is going on? You already know that he is cheating and that your marriage is not healthy. Do you want to save the marriage? If you get the proof, are you planning to divorce? What is the end goal here?


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

People want to know the facts if they are considering ending their marriage! Why are y'all attacking this person instead of helping them?


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

I would advise on asking your spouse a set of questions, possible in writing, and ask him to answer in writing on his own without you standing over him. Just tell him to tell you the truth and to be aware that what he says will decide whether or not the marriage survives. Doing it in writing means you always know what you asked and what he answered. Truth, when it is told, usually causes a lot of unrest but also a lot of soul searching too. Truth helps to accept a healing process.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

OnTheRocks said:


> People want to know the facts if they are considering ending their marriage! Why are y'all attacking this person instead of helping them?


I'm not attacking her. She knows that he is cheating. I think a lot of time that looking into details causes way more pain than is necessary. If she is planning to try to save the marriage, that may be a different story, however.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

This is getting way too common on TAM. Full disclosure: I've been guilty of it myself. Most people involved in a heartbreaking situation can't handle the 2x4s, and sometimes the TAM groupthink is (gasp) wrong. Do you want to help them, or not?


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

If he doesn’t let it out of his sight, you’re probably going to have to try a different approach. Does he even take it into the bathroom with him? 

You can try putting a keylogger or Dr. Fone. Maybe a VAR planted somewhere where he uses the phone in private, like the car.

Edit: Not sure if you’re still here or not, OP. But my suggestion still stands.


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## SkyFive (Apr 4, 2019)

If it is Verizon you can look at the phone bill online in PDF format for the last 12 months. It gives the location the call was from and to. So, if your husband was out of pocket and a call came in you can derive the general area he was in when he received the call. (This is based on the cell tower that carried the call)

I spent a great deal of time on the road and away from home for my job. This led to my wife having an emotional affair with a old college boyfriend. He lives in a different city about two hours away. By checking the phone records I can tell her phone never received or initiated a call outside of our (small) area. It's pretty conclusive because she didn't know I had access to these records during this time period and I checked twelve months running. (It was a 5 month affair from beginning to end)


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Francismae2019 said:


> Look, I appreciate your input because I know exactly what you are all getting at. I'm not an idiot in denial, I'm well aware of who is at fault and that I am going to leave. I get it, but I'm not letting him off the hook that easy, (nothing violent). I'm just looking for guidance about the "problem" I'm having getting what I need, info from his cell phone. I'm guessing I'm not in the right forum? Thank you anyway.


Take a min to think about this...
If you could have the best possible outcome for you, what would it be?
What will you do after that best possible outcome becomes a reality?

Remember, you can't turn back time and make it never to have happened. 
You can't make him become virtuous. 
You can't make him put it back in his pants.
You can't make karma or the like start in action.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Francismae2019 said:


> Look, I appreciate your input because I know exactly what you are all getting at. I'm not an idiot in denial, I'm well aware of who is at fault and that I am going to leave. I get it, but I'm not letting him off the hook that easy, (nothing violent). I'm just looking for guidance about the "problem" I'm having getting what I need, info from his cell phone. I'm guessing I'm not in the right forum? Thank you anyway.


In your last post you say he's been at this crap for *at least 2 years now,* so what's the POINT of wasting even MORE of your precious time with him, playing Sherlock Holmes when you already know what he's been doing?

Run one of the un-delete software packages on his phone like FoneLab, etc. You won't get all the nonsense texts he's been sending out to anyone who'll give him the time of day, but you might get *just enough* to finally motivate you to leave this liar and throw away that last bit of 'hopium' you've been clinging to.


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