# Why can't I just do it ????



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

A little while ago I decided I will let him go....

Even though I've made a lot of changes to my life he still hasn't given me a second chance.

I've read about the 180 and I so want to do this....but I can't  .....

I try to be short with him, try not to initiate conversation with him, try to get out of the house to do things for myself, try to show him I can be independent (as much as I can with 2 kids), and so on and so forth....

It's just too hard....

I guess part of me does still try to fight to get him back....even though the bigger part realized that he will not take me back if he hasn't had a change of heart yet....

He wants his cake and eat it too....I get it....

Why can't I just accept it ???

I still have this little bit of hope that he'll change his mind and I fear if I go through with the 180 then he'll feel reassured about his choice....especially in the sex department....if I cut him off he'll think I only had sex with him lately to get him back and it would prove his point of me not wanting sex with him anyway.....which is totally untrue....

Aaaarrrrrrrrgghhhhhhhhhhh :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

I just can't get myself to have the final talk with him.....in or out.....

Tomorrow I am taking the parenting class and since it was the mandatory thing we had to get done before the papers could get signed, I guess I will know some more by Friday  

I hate this uncertainty  !!!!


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

It would be so much easier to deal with all this if it was an affair....and maybe it is....at least an EA :scratchhead: I just don't know


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