# Feeling betrayed



## Blackcrowes25! (Feb 19, 2018)

Over Christmas break I was sitting next to my wife at my in-laws and she received a text from her old boss from four years ago wishing her a happy birthday, see you soon! I asked her if she was going to see him and her response was "that's just the way he talks, I haven't seen him in four years." I found this odd, so a couple days later I went on her email to see if there were any other exchanges.... This is what I found:

- shortly after she left her job for another one he sent out a presentation slide for her to see along with several other people he works with. She responds to just him saying" this makes me miss you even more." When I asked her about this she said it was to the whole group, not him. But then Why does it go to just him?

- several emails from her to him asking him to come and work where she is at....

- Several emails from both of them to set up a time to talk at work. She never has had a conversation with him in front of me. Make me wonder how often they talk....

- he sent her an email a couple months back thanking her for the voicemail that she left him. He then goes on to say it is my hope that that sometime/somewhere soon we can be together again like the good old days. We will connect soon.

Several other "no subject titled" emails that I didn't get to open and see......

I was mad/upset when I saw these email/text.. We had a heated discussion and she did agree to send him an email saying that I saw the email/text exchanges between them, that I was bothered by it and out of concern for her marriage she will not be communicating with him anymore. He responded that he was sorry if he caused any discord and that he will prey for my family. I appreciated that she sent the email, but she is adamant that they are friends, did nothing wrong and she is doing it because I want her too. She also said she would be more conscious of how she emails other men, but when we had another talk about this topic, she was crabby, sarcastic and said " now whenever I email someone I have to worry if it's ok to send a smile face. I don't want to give them the wrong idea" (not sincere at all)

Also about a 18 months ago my wife had a guy friend on Facebook that she knew in college. They dated a couple times, nothing serious. They had a message exchange about some problem he was having, of course 
! my wife was being super nice and sweet in the messages. A couple days later, out of the blue he messages her that she is the one that got away. I found out because she came and told me, and she also sent him a letter at my request telling him to not be in contact anymore. Although I appreciated her telling me, it's frustrating because I believe it's her flirty way she messaged him for the reason he sent the message in the first place.

There is also a double standard going on.. I had a younger woman that I mentored at work a couple years ago. She asked me to be her friend on Facebook. I accepted but we Never had any flirty messages/text/email ext... Between us. When my. Wife saw we were friends on fb she made me unfriend her even though nothing ever happened between us ever. I unfriend her. To me it was no big deal. I wasn't attracted to her at all. My big reason I'm ok with unfriend ing her is that I don't think married couples Should have friends of the opposite sex. Not all men, but I do believe quit a few men have an alterior motive when being friends of the opposite sex.

Before seeing the text/emails I never had the feeling my wwife was cheating on me. After reading the exchanges, I felt betrayed even though my wife insists I'm making a huge deal out of nothing. She tells me she would never, ever cheat on me, but It's very hard for me to just let this go...

Am I overreaching?
Share


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Shouldn't have confronted yet!

Big mistake! Now you might never know now e she knows your watching I'm sure she will be xetra careful. 

Act normal and dig deeper.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Check your phone bill.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Oh brother. She’s networking with an old colleague and you’re acting immature and jealous. 


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

You confronted too early. As a previous poster said check your phone bill. Install a VAR in her car ASAP. Pretend to drop the matter even apologise for your behavour. You need to lure her into a false sense of security so she drops her guard so you can discover the full extent on what is actually going on.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

You may want to add a keylogger to your computer where she does her emails. Something sounds really fishy to me -- way beyond networking.... Now that she knows you've checked, she may do something like add a hidden email account that you don't know about to continue emailing these folks. The VAR is a good idea also...


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

There's just not enough there to suggest an affair. People who work on the same team under adverse circumstances form a close bond. This bond does not always lead to romance. But you'll always pine for the days you worked with those great colleagues and express how nice it would be to work together again. If your wife is still affectionate with you, I don't think there's anything to suspect. 

But the double standard is unfair. Remind her of how you unfriended your FB friend and ask her if that rule still applies.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Blackcrowes25! said:


> Am I overreaching?


No, you are not over reacting. I was in a situation similar to yours and I reacted even stronger than you did.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I can't imagine living with such paranoia. All you found were a few emails to a past boss and a message from some guy she used to know, who simply told her she was the one that got away - that she told you about!
And of course the TAM Cheating Choir shows up with get a VAR, load Keylogger, hire a PI, check your phone records!
Just because she is conversing with other men is not a sign that she is cheating. Your reaction though is a sign of insecurity. Why are you so insecure? Has she actually done something before? I mean really done something - like actually cheat?
You need to get your paranoia under control. In today's world, regardless of how some imagine it to be, men and women work together. If you distrust your spouse this much perhaps you are better off being alone, so the only person you have to worry about is yourself.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Schedule a polygraph, tell your wife when you are pulling into the parking lot. Also tell her you will take a polygraph as well, with only the names being changed in the questions. Her old bosses name and yours is the girl you unfriended at your wife’s request. Remind your wife that she wanted you to unfriend someone, you did, you didn’t lie about contact for four years and now trust has been broken. Only taking and passing a polygraph will be the only way I consider reconciliation. You lied, you could have said you were in contact and arranging the old boss to be employed with you, you lied that you communicated for four years, you lied that you were planning to meet, your lies bring consequences, polygraph is the consequence.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Ynot said:


> I can't imagine living with such paranoia. All you found were a few emails to a past boss and a message from some guy she used to know, who simply told her she was the one that got away - that she told you about!


Stop with the false "paranoia" stuff. You minimize what the OP has stated so as to be able to dismiss the OP's concerns out of hand. You also ignore that many people have marital boundaries when it comes to opposite sex friends that are different from yours; in this case the wife strictly enforces them against the OP, so we know that this is the case with the OP and his wife. The OP's wife may not have broken your boundaries, but she definitely broke theirs, and at the end of the day that what matters to the OP.

Without telling the husband, the wife has for 4 years been emailing and making phone calls to a former male boss, while scheduling these phone calls to be made at her office such that the husband has never heard her talk to the other man is definitely a red flag. Her trying to get this other man a job at her current company, and telling this other man that she misses him, again done without the husband's knowledge, is also a red flag. As far as what you call "some guy she used to know", this guy is a guy that she dated in college, which means that he should more correctly be called an "ex", especially in light of the other man considering her the "one that got away". Although it is good that she told him about this clearly non-platonic comment on her own, she should not have been communicating with him without discussing it with her husband in the first place, as special boundaries for someone that you dated in the past is common and not paranoia.


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

Ynot said:


> I can't imagine living with such paranoia. All you found were a few emails to a past boss and a message from some guy she used to know, who simply told her she was the one that got away - that she told you about!
> And of course the TAM Cheating Choir shows up with get a VAR, load Keylogger, hire a PI, check your phone records!
> Just because she is conversing with other men is not a sign that she is cheating. Your reaction though is a sign of insecurity. Why are you so insecure? Has she actually done something before? I mean really done something - like actually cheat?
> You need to get your paranoia under control. In today's world, regardless of how some imagine it to be, men and women work together. If you distrust your spouse this much perhaps you are better off being alone, so the only person you have to worry about is yourself.


 You picked a good day to quit sniffing glue... wow after all the stuff we see on this site over and over. Yeah no way she could be having an affair.! you got to be kidding.! you’re paranoid.! oh my God. It just blows me away... I’ll stop there


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Haha! Speaking of insecurity, the paranoia runs deep on TAM. Yeah I have read all the threads and as soon as someone posts anything about something their spouse is doing the long knives come out and he/she is having an affair. Maybe some of you need to understand that men and women work together. The OP posted NOTHING suggesting an affair, just a bunch of random emails that are not in the least bit suggestive of an affair. But that doesn't stop the projectionists from projecting. Since they were cheated on every one else is cheating as well and they must be hyper vigilant. You know what the OPs spouse may be cheating but then cheating doesn't happen in a vacuum. So instead of railing against me, maybe you should suggest that the OP find out what is really going on. Because cheating is typically a symptom, not the disease itself.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Paranoia or heightened awareness. When men are talking with women, 9 out of 10 of the men are bird dogging to see if the can get in the woman's pants. Why do you think the conversation is laced with sexual innuendo?  Its almost as if the man feels he has a duty to at least try. Guy's you know what I'm talking about.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Blackcrowes25! said:


> Over Christmas break I was sitting next to my wife at my in-laws and she received a text from her old boss from four years ago wishing her a happy birthday, see you soon! I asked her if she was going to see him and her response was "that's just the way he talks, I haven't seen him in four years." I found this odd, so a couple days later I went on her email to see if there were any other exchanges.... This is what I found:
> 
> - shortly after she left her job for another one he sent out a presentation slide for her to see along with several other people he works with. She responds to just him saying" this makes me miss you even more." When I asked her about this she said it was to the whole group, not him. But then Why does it go to just him?
> 
> ...


No you are not over reacting. Actually I would have served my wife with divorce papers if she was exchanging emails like that with another guy. She was/is cheating on you. You let her shame you and everything else. Cheaters lie it’s what they do, it’s what your wife has done to you. 

The text have obviously shown that they were meeting up with each other and you took her explanation hook line and sinker.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Ynot said:


> Haha! Speaking of insecurity, the paranoia runs deep on TAM. Yeah I have read all the threads and as soon as someone posts anything about something their spouse is doing the long knives come out and he/she is having an affair. Maybe some of you need to understand that men and women work together. The OP posted NOTHING suggesting an affair, just a bunch of random emails that are not in the least bit suggestive of an affair. But that doesn't stop the projectionists from projecting. Since they were cheated on every one else is cheating as well and they must be hyper vigilant. You know what the OPs spouse may be cheating but then cheating doesn't happen in a vacuum. So instead of railing against me, maybe you should suggest that the OP find out what is really going on. Because cheating is typically a symptom, not the disease itself.


There is never an excuse to cheat. It is a symptom of the cheater having no morals and a weak character.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

ABHale said:


> There is never an excuse to cheat. It is a symptom of the cheater having no morals and a weak character.


I never said there is an excuse. I said there is a reason. It might be because of no morals, it might be because of weak character or it more probably it because something else is going on. In which case perhaps the lack of morals or weak character could be in the part of the BS who pretends everything is fine and is then blind sided by their SO deciding to cheat rather than deal with them.
And FTR, while not excusing the cheater, there are definite reasons why people cheat and they have nothing to do with weak character or lack of morals. Stop believing the fairy tale and start thinking realistically.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Ynot said:


> I never said there is an excuse. I said there is a reason. It might be because of no morals, it might be because of weak character or it more probably it because something else is going on. In which case perhaps the lack of morals or weak character could be in the part of the BS who pretends everything is fine and is then blind sided by their SO deciding to cheat rather than deal with them.
> And FTR, while not excusing the cheater, there are definite reasons why people cheat and they have nothing to do with weak character or lack of morals. Stop believing the fairy tale and start thinking realistically.


OP I think your wife's ex boss posts on here. >

Seriously, you need to have a serious heart to heart with your wife. Consider marriage counseling.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Ynot said:


> I never said there is an excuse. I said there is a reason. It might be because of no morals, it might be because of weak character or it more probably it because something else is going on. In which case perhaps the lack of morals or weak character could be in the part of the BS who pretends everything is fine and is then blind sided by their SO deciding to cheat rather than deal with them.
> And FTR, while not excusing the cheater, there are definite reasons why people cheat and they have nothing to do with weak character or lack of morals. Stop believing the fairy tale and start thinking realistically.


They are not pretending everything is fine if the cheater is able to act as if everything is fine. All marriages have there ups and downs. The down times are never an excuse. Cheating has everything to do with no morals and a weak or wicked character. Instead of facing a relationship problem a cheater cheats. The BS has done nothing to deserve this. Is there something lacking in the marriage, of course there is. It is still no excuse to go outside the marriage. 

If a marriage is so bad that you have to cheat at least have back bone enough to file for divorce first. Damn cowards


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Ynot said:


> I never said there is an excuse. I said there is a reason. It might be because of no morals, it might be because of weak character or it more probably it because something else is going on. In which case perhaps the lack of morals or weak character could be in the part of the BS who pretends everything is fine and is then blind sided by their SO deciding to cheat rather than deal with them.
> And FTR, while not excusing the cheater, there are definite reasons why people cheat and they have nothing to do with weak character or lack of morals. Stop believing the fairy tale and start thinking realistically.


When you said “I never said there is an excuse. I said there is a reason”, in this case that is a distinction without a difference.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Ynot said:


> Maybe some of you need to understand that men and women work together.


 Maybe you need to understand that co-workers are the number one source of affair partners, which is why many people such as the OP and his wife have marital boundaries, and that the OP has a right to be upset that she is breaking these boundaries. Also, maybe you need to under that the ex-coworker does not work with the wife and has not done so for 4 years. Additionally, maybe you need to understand that the guy she dated in college is not a coworker either.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

ABHale said:


> They are not pretending everything is fine if the cheater is able to act as if everything is fine. All marriages have there ups and downs. The down times are never an excuse. Cheating has everything to do with no morals and a weak or wicked character. Instead of facing a relationship problem a cheater cheats. The BS has done nothing to deserve this. Is there something lacking in the marriage, of course there is. It is still no excuse to go outside the marriage.
> 
> If a marriage is so bad that you have to cheat at least have back bone enough to file for divorce first. Damn cowards


AGAIN, since you can't seem to understand, although you stated it yourself, there is a larger problem than the cheating. Cheating is just a symptom of a much bigger problem. That doesn't mean that I ever said cheating was the right choice.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Ynot said:


> AGAIN, since you can't seem to understand, although you stated it yourself, there is a larger problem than the cheating. Cheating is just a symptom of a much bigger problem. That doesn't mean that I ever said cheating was the right choice.


I do understand what you are trying to say , I just disagree with it. 

There are many examples in this and other forms where the marriages are great and one of the partners cheat. Even the cheater says that their spouse is wonderful and they can’t believe what they did. It all boils down to who the cheater IS. 

We can just agree to dis agree.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

When you’re a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. 


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## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

Blackcrowes25! said:


> Am I overreaching?
> Share


I would say you are not overreaching. That's not to say anything is going on, however I do think writing "this makes me miss you even more." is highly inappropriate for a business interaction. My wife only uses words like that for family and close female friends. She would never write anything like this to a guy she works with. My guess is she is probably not seriously involved with him, but she does have some boundary issues that you should keep an eye on.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Blackcrowe 

Friend request the girl you unfriended because of your wife. Then let your wife see that you are now friends again, then tell your wife, we haven’t met privately like nor have I lied like you. Tell her you do plan to meet this girl next week, and that your wife should have absolutely no problem with this. Then tell your wife you want this girl as a friend, as good a friend as your wife and old boss. Then sit back and watch the show.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Ynot said:


> Yes and life is the number one cause of death. So maybe we should all wrap ourselves in bubble wrap and stay inside so as to not die today? Whether you like it or not, your SO, if they work is going to have coworkers. Maybe you need to understand, that NOTHING in what the OP stated confirmed anything about an affair other than in the fevered minds of you posters who see an affair behind every corner. Maybe you need to see that this level of distrust the OP has is indicative of a much bigger, unmentioned problem. Because maybe you need to understand that apparently these marital boundaries are the OP's marital boundaries and not his wife's.


You keep stating that "NOTHING in what the OP stated confirmed anything about an affair ", ignoring the fact that the OP's wife has for years been breaking their agreed upon marital boundaries for these other men without telling the OP, which is the issue that the OP is posting about and are red flags. I do not care that you do not agree with the OP's and OP's wife's boundaries (they are common boundaries BTW), which the wife strictly enforces against the OP. Stop trying to impose your boundaries on them. All that matters here is their mutually agreed upon marital boundaries. You have a right to your boundaries in your marriage, and the OP has a right to his. The OP feels "betrayed", and based on their boundaries he has a right to.

I along with many others do not agree with your marital boundaries, which I consider weak, but I do not want to let you turn this into a thread jack by getting sucked into a debate with you on this. If you want to debate this instead of addressing the OP's situation based on the OP's martial boundaries, start your own thread.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Wow, in light of all the blowback I have received I decided to go back and re read the OP. It seems that the TAM Choir of Everyone is a Cheater has really blown this out of all proportions, as they are wont to do. Because it is just as someone else has posted "when you are a hammer, everything looks like a nail"
Here is what the OP stated " I don't think married couples Should have friends of the opposite sex" Notice that the word "I" is used. Not the word "We". IOW what you have is an assumption by the OP. We know of no agreement with this statement by the OP's W. In fact what we have seen is her more less sarcastic reaction to her H's thinking. 
Yep, I am more convinced than ever, that the choir has been projecting their own victimhood on the OP. 
So, OP, again I would say, if you have this level of distrust you should seek a marriage counselor and not be looking for answers from a bunch of hammers who think your wife is a nail.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I concur with Ynot. There's nothing there to crucify the OP as a cheat, Based on the OP statements, I see mostly inflexibility (black and white) type of viewing things.

But only the OP knows his wife (to a degree), so personally, I would "trust but verify" type of approach, going forward.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I meant to say "... nothing to crucify the OP's wife...


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

TRy said:


> Stop with the bull. I have been married for many years, and to the best of my knowledge and belief my wife has never cheated on me. I original came to this site to find ideas to improve my marriage, and started by visiting the "General Relationship Discussion" section. I often ended up in the Infidelity section by following people that started in the General Relationship section only to learn that unknown to them their issues were really based on their spouses infidelity.
> 
> You seem to always be on attack mode based on a self righteous view of the world, coupled with jumping to factually unsupported conclusions.


Dude, I factually supported my opinion. You on the other hand have jumped to the conclusion that the OP's wife is a cheat, based on...what? An insecure man's ruminations about a few random emails sent over a four year period of time to a person she used to work with it? A Facebook post she actually told him about first?
If either of us should stop the bull, that would be you! 
My "attack" has nothing to do with my view of the world. It does however have everything to do with the incredible disservice that is done to posters who get all sorts of bad advice about how their spouse is cheating on them based on nothing but thin air as is the case here.
Without a doubt the OP has some issues to resolve, but nothing points to an affair. Bad manners, crossing boundaries, maybe. Yet you and a few others are here advising the OP that his W is having an affair. As if he wasn't already concerned without being given bad advice.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Ynot said:


> Here is what the OP stated " I don't think married couples Should have friends of the opposite sex" Notice that the word "I" is used. Not the word "We". IOW what you have is an assumption by the OP. We know of no agreement with this statement by the OP's W.


 So her forcing the OP to drop someone from being a Facebook friend for no other reason than that person was someone of the opposite sex, is her showing the OP that she does not agree with his statement that "I don't think married couples Should have friends of the opposite sex"? Dude, of course she agrees. You have to include all the facts, you do not get to pick and choose and then say what you say is factually supported.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

TRy said:


> So her forcing the OP to drop someone from being a Facebook friend for no other reason than that person was someone of the opposite sex, is her showing the OP that she does not agree with his statement that "I don't think married couples Should have friends of the opposite sex"? Dude, of course she agrees.


Being a hypocrite is not the same thing as being a cheater. Stick to the issue and stop creating new ones.
In fact, her position would appear to make it even more unlikely that she is a cheater, than all the rest of the conclusions you have jumped to.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Ynot said:


> Dude, I factually supported my opinion. You on the other hand have jumped to the conclusion that the OP's wife is a cheat, based on...what?





Ynot said:


> Yet you and a few others are here advising the OP that his W is having an affair.


You state that you "factually supported" your opinion, yet immediately follow this with making stuff up about me and my position. I never once said that the OP's wife was a "cheat" or say that she was having "an affair". What I did say is that "the OP's wife has for years been breaking their agreed upon marital boundaries for these other men without telling the OP, which is the issue that the OP is posting about" and that "The OP feels "betrayed", and based on their boundaries he has a right to." All of which are true. Please show me where I said that she was "a cheat" or having "an affair", or stop posting about me with unsupported facts.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

TRy said:


> You state that you "factually supported" your opinion, yet immediately follow this with making stuff up about me and my position. I never once said that the OP's wife was a "cheat" or say that she was having "an affair". What I did say is that "the OP's wife has for years been breaking their agreed upon marital boundaries for these other men without telling the OP, which is the issue that the OP is posting about" and that "The OP feels "betrayed", and based on their boundaries he has a right to." All of which are true. Please show me where I said that she was "a cheat" or having "an affair", or stop posting about me with unsupported facts.


Ok here is what you wrote "Maybe you need to understand that co-workers are the number one source of affair partners," Why would anyone have an affair partner unless they were having an affair? Maybe its just me, but when you post something like that, the implication is clear.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Ynot said:


> Ok here is what you wrote "Maybe you need to understand that co-workers are the number one source of affair partners," Why would anyone have an affair partner unless they were having an affair? Maybe its just me, but when you post something like that, the implication is clear.


Yes, it is just you. You know full well that I stated "Maybe you need to understand that co-workers are the number one source of affair partners" directly to you as part of our debate about opposite sex boundaries, and in no way implied that the OP's wife was having such an affair. The full quote makes this very clear as it stated "Maybe you need to understand that co-workers are the number one source of affair partners, which is why many people such as the OP and his wife have marital boundaries, and that the OP has a right to be upset that she is breaking these boundaries." Notice I state that the OP is upset that she is breaking boundaries and not saying that she is having an affair? I asked you to show me where I actually stated that the OP's wife was "a cheat"or "having an affair", and the best that you could do was to post an unrelated comment because you could not find one. Are you able to ever admit that you are wrong?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

TRy said:


> Yes, it is just you. You know full well that I stated "Maybe you need to understand that co-workers are the number one source of affair partners" directly to you as part of our debate about opposite sex boundaries, and in no way implied that the OP's wife was having such an affair. The full quote makes this very clear as it stated "Maybe you need to understand that co-workers are the number one source of affair partners, which is why many people such as the OP and his wife have marital boundaries, and that the OP has a right to be upset that she is breaking these boundaries." Notice I state that the OP is upset that she is breaking boundaries and not saying that she is having an affair? I asked you to show me where I actually stated that the OP's wife was "a cheat"or "having an affair", and the best that you could do was to post an unrelated comment because you could not find one. Are you able to ever admit that you are wrong?


I have admitted I have been wrong plenty of times. But I will not in this case. Because your original reply to me was in regards to me suggesting that there was no affair taking place. You then went into great detail about all the red flags. Red flags for what? Oh, that's right, an affair! If you meant to suggest otherwise, I would suggest that you might have agreed with me rather than argue with me or at the least not quoted something I said.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Ynot said:


> I have admitted I have been wrong plenty of times. But I will not in this case. Because your original reply to me was in regards to me suggesting that there was no affair taking place. You then went into great detail about all the red flags. Red flags for what? Oh, that's right, an affair! If you meant to suggest otherwise, I would suggest that you might have agreed with me rather than argue with me or at the least not quoted something I said.


 Notice how you are now dancing around the issue of your false claim that I said that she was having an affair or that she was a cheat by saying that "You then went into great detail about all the red flags. Red flags for what?". There is a huge difference between me saying that there are red flags that could lead to an affair, and you falsely saying that I was "advising the OP that his W is having an affair" or that I had "jumped to the conclusion that the OP's wife is a cheat".

You have falsely called me a "a victim" that was victimized by a wife with "no character and weak morals or weak character and no morals", without any knowledge that my wife ever had an affair, and are falsely claiming that I ever said that the PO's wife was having an affair or was cheating based on half quotes, and unsupportable logic. This is turning into a thread jack and it is clear you will never admit that you are wrong. Be well.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Moderator warning:-*

My broadband has been broken for a week. An engineer just fixed it.

And what I find myself doing instead of clearing up a backlog of work for my employer, is cleaning up this thread. 

Some posts were removed because they were off topic, others merely because they quoted a deleted post.

Some were deleted because they were rude toward other members, others because they were both off topic and rude to other members.

Please abide by the rules, be kind, be considerate and be nice.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Ynot said:


> Haha! Speaking of insecurity, the paranoia runs deep on TAM. Yeah I have read all the threads and as soon as someone posts anything about something their spouse is doing the long knives come out and he/she is having an affair. Maybe some of you need to understand that men and women work together. The OP posted NOTHING suggesting an affair, just a bunch of random emails that are not in the least bit suggestive of an affair. But that doesn't stop the projectionists from projecting. Since they were cheated on every one else is cheating as well and they must be hyper vigilant. You know what the OPs spouse may be cheating but then cheating doesn't happen in a vacuum. So instead of railing against me, maybe you should suggest that the OP find out what is really going on. Because cheating is typically a symptom, not the disease itself.


Ah, I hope for OP's sake and yours' that you are correct. She is merely being friendly with an old colleague.

Note to you: About thirty post later we get the "Update", she has been caught, with her panties down around her ankles. We defended the poor gal, and thought the OP male was over anxious, paranoid, insecure and of course, he was......right.

We find out he had good reason for all these undesirable traits. His wife was not a Damsel in distress, she was a wife who dis-dressed for her POSOM. 

We never stop hoping for a happy ending.
And somebody, often times the POSOM gets that happy ending....repeatedly.

Just Sayin'

I 'hope' [Hope, not from Canada] you are correct. That she is a loyal wife.

It seems....

That posters do not want to disappoint the peanut gallery at TAM.
The penis gallery. Ready to ram the cheaters story apart.

They make sure that the story leads the crowd to the Wailing Wall. And all can bash their heads against it. Rail against these horny wives from Hell.


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