# it is hard to be he friend



## Missy38 (Nov 7, 2009)

I find it hard to be my x friend at this time. I am trying to be nice has I can cause he dose have the children at this time. but I am hoping I do get them back with me. Right now he has a girlfriend. I do have a question. Was I wrong to tell the children I do not want to talk about there dad girlfriend. My oldest daughter said to me if she stay the night she getting her car and stay with me for the night. My daughter did tell me she just got a divorce about two weeks ago. I have been divorce sent October nice birthday. Anyway I do not want to met her or even talk to her.How does when hand this. When does the crying stop and all the hurt inside. I have lost my best friend. Now I feel like I have no one to talk to about my day at work or even how I am feeling inside. I miss came home seeing my family there when I get out of work. Asking me how my day was. I just wanted to hit him and tell him off so bad but I know it would make things bad between us. I do not wanted that. I feel so lost for words and feel like I am all by myself. I am hoping by join this support group I will learn a lot about myself and how to hand anything that came my way. I have read some of post that some of you have posted I hope I can take some of that with me and take it slow.


----------



## sandyf (Apr 14, 2009)

You need to find a happy medium. If your daughter is driving she is old enough for you to level with her. Asking her to never mention the girlfriend is a bit unreasonable. Her dad, and now his girlfriend are part of her life. If she loans your daughter her car you can say that was nice. But, if your daughter wants to tell you how much fun they had over the weekend or something, I would just calmly tell your daughter that this is still all very hard for you and you just can't really handle talking about that yet.

Hopefully someday the pain will subside and things will change. My mother had hard feelings when my dad left and remarried. My parents were never in the same place at the same time until my sister got married. It was hard for me and my sister to always have to tiptoe around the subject and to never have both parents at events and such that were important to us. 

You have to do what is best for your kids, while still protecting yourself. You will, to some extent, have to suck it up. Put on a happy face and do the best you can if you have to all be together.

Just my two cents - I wish you the best.

Sandy


----------

