# Interesting article about keeping things Sexy.



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

I think most of this is pretty obvious and it takes two people committed to keeping the fire going but I thought I'd slap this up. One thing in here that does't seem totally intuitive to some people but I find my wife and I engage in is maintenance sex. Basically making sure you don't start going too long without sex as a rule. My wife and I don't have a schedule but when things are crazy with kids stuff and work travel we will say were both exhausted and stressed but we haven't had sex in a week so lets get too it. 

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/7-habits-highly-sexual-couples-150000613.html


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

And that's a good thing!


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> And that's a good thing!


I think so. Normally we're 4-5 times a week. Then theres an off week were one of us might have a 3 day conference out of town say Monday - Wednesday and the kids have a planned sleepover Friday night at our house. So Thursday, even though she just got back from a trip and I have been working and dealing with all the kids stuff and were both exhausted we will say we should have sex tonight because tomorrow is out with the sleepover. I would consider that Thursday night to be maintenance sex. You're not in the mood to initiate with strong motivation but it's been since last Saturday night so instinctively we both say we should have sex. Then we both end up enjoying it per usual even though we weren't in the mood to start with. Make sense?

I guess the point is you got to keep the frequency up or lower frequency might become normal. We want our frequency to remain high.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

And that's the thing.

Regular intimacy fosters regular closer communication between SOs in any relationship. 

And that can head off problems in every aspect if the relationship. It's not a given solution as one thing solves all problems but it is a great way to support open affection and communication all over!

Frequent physical closeness is one of the main pillars in typical successful ltrs.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Seems fine, but my experience is that it has it's own "auto-correction" built in. After a week or two of "no opportunities", I'll start pulling out the stops, i.e. inviting my wife to dinner alone, back/foot rubs, new drinks to try... Basically, anything possible to synch up again.

On a recent occasion, I was going crazy and baby wouldn't sleep so I plopped her in a car seat on the bed with a bottle of formula in front of a Baby Einstein video and let's just say baby had no idea what was going on in the bed behind her while she enjoyed her video and bottle! 

You can get pretty crafty, when you're desperate. I hate to even mention it but this is a big reason why I think porn is bad for men.... they're getting it on in their fantasy world instead of just getting crafty about going after their wives!


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

CatholicDad said:


> On a recent occasion, I was going crazy and baby wouldn't sleep so I plopped her in a car seat on the bed with a bottle of formula in front of a Baby Einstein video and let's just say baby had no idea what was going on in the bed behind her while she enjoyed her video and bottle!
> 
> You can get pretty crafty, when you're desperate. I hate to even mention it but this is a big reason why I think porn is bad for men.... they're getting it on in their fantasy world instead of just getting crafty about going after their wives!


 Gotta admit - that was so utterly *nauseating* to read that I think I dry heaved. Yeah, I did.

You needed to get laid THAT bad that you had no problem having sex literally right behind your own kid's head while she drank her bottle? I need to gouge my damned eyes out with a clam fork now. 

And after telling us this story, you claim that a guy watching porn in private is SO much more _*evil *_than mommy and daddy bumping uglies like two alley cats literally right behind their baby while it's drinking it's bottle? That is so nasty and SO inappropriate.

I'm all for keeping things 'sexy,' but that was actually gag-worthy.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Gotta admit - that was so utterly *nauseating* to read that I think I dry heaved. Yeah, I did.
> 
> You needed to get laid THAT bad that you had no problem having sex literally right behind your own kid's head while she drank her bottle? I need to gouge my damned eyes out with a clam fork now.
> 
> ...


Well, now, I've got to go with CD here. 

If a baby needs his bottle and will be still, while drinking, and W and I are behind said baby out of view, then it's happy time if we get some time "alone".

Have done it. Voice of experience here. Not a problem.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

SSGI, how do you think the Indians and pioneers did it (one room house or teepee)? They sure didn't run off to the bathroom with their mobile device like your men apparently do.

Seriously though, one of the reasons I hate porn is because of the damage it does to children. In my case, perhaps baby was aware that mom and dad were in bed behind her and kissing or "loving"? Baby doesn't have the concept what sex is or how that is different from kissing/loving and wouldn't that make a baby feel secure (that mom and dad are loving each other)?


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Gotta admit - that was so utterly *nauseating* to read that I think I dry heaved. Yeah, I did.
> 
> You needed to get laid THAT bad that you had no problem having sex literally right behind your own kid's head while she drank her bottle? I need to gouge my damned eyes out with a clam fork now.
> 
> ...


Didn't you read, he was DESPERATE.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Gotta admit - that was so utterly *nauseating* to read that I think I dry heaved. Yeah, I did.
> 
> You needed to get laid THAT bad that you had no problem having sex literally right behind your own kid's head while she drank her bottle? I need to gouge my damned eyes out with a clam fork now.
> 
> ...


I don't think that doing what CD describes is at all inappropriate or abnormal. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Who says "bumping uglies" anymore? Shades of Stepford, Batman!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Wasn't that used in Beetlejuice too? And more. 

Not that bad.
😎


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

baby in bed ...... been there ... done that. Glad those days are long behind us.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Actually me too. Long gone.

I remind myself I did enjoy, so to speak those days, but now like the days where grandbabies visit and can go back home.

Love the critters but it's like peace descends again after they leave from overnight stay!

Although the oldest sleeps all night now. Not so bad. At 2.5 yrs he's getting interesting 😁


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

happyhusband0005 said:


> I think most of this is pretty obvious and it takes two people committed to keeping the fire going but I thought I'd slap this up. One thing in here that does't seem totally intuitive to some people but I find my wife and I engage in is maintenance sex. Basically making sure you don't start going too long without sex as a rule. My wife and I don't have a schedule but when things are crazy with kids stuff and work travel we will say were both exhausted and stressed but we haven't had sex in a week so lets get too it.
> 
> https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/7-habits-highly-sexual-couples-150000613.html


I agree with the article, that the following are very important to marriage:


They commit to foreplay

They have a sex schedule

They touch each other a lot

They know sex isn’t always perfect

They take care of each other’s sexual and emotional needs

They’re super comfortable with each other

They are best friends


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

That article would be better titled: *7 Habits of Some Highly Sexual Couples*.

My wife and I are a highly sexual couple, and we share penetrative sex 4-6x a week and frequently more. We've always had a good sex life, that has never fallen off a cliff, through being together for more than 22 years.

*They commit to foreplay*

Yet we have no commitment to foreplay as the article describes it. Except for rare occasions my wife is always well lubed and ready as such.

Sure we share lots of oral sex with each other and all sorts of other play as well.

The thing is though, it sometimes works for both of us just to bend her over lift her dress and pull her knickers aside and start poking her before moving onto other things. Plus she orgasms easily via penetrative sex, so oral sex or other stimulation isn't required to always get her there.

That said when I stick my whole hand in there, that takes time, some foreplay, communication and sometimes extra lube.

*They have a sex schedule*

Likewise we never schedule sex, never have and are loathe to play that way, because boring!!! Why schedule, when either of us simply start kissing the other and then go on from there, whenever the mood often strikes.

If scheduling is the only way a couple can be bothered to share sex with each other, by all means schedule it. Yet for some of us who are highly sexual couples, having sexual desire for each other is enough motivation to frequently share sex together.

*They touch each other a lot*

We do share that touching each other a lot thing. Although except for holding hands, we don't cuddle or snuggle very often at all, so there isn't much non-sexual touch. Yet plenty of fondling and groping, licking and even some biting is common at any time.

*They know sex isn’t always perfect*

Of course sex isn't perfect and having such an expectation is silly. One thing though sex for us is for the most part at a minimum good, frequently great, often amazing and extremely rarely meh.

What I think is cool is the handful of times (throughout our time together) it has been meh, we've both told each other the sex was crap.

Also with orgasms, that is variable normally my wife orgasms every time for a run of 5-8x then she'll not orgasm for the next 1-3x then it's rinse and repeat of generally following that trend.

Whenever we start having sex, we don't know where it's going to go, so it might be just good or it might be amazing, there's no pressure though it's simply fun to do and feels good to do it.

*They take care of each other’s sexual and emotional needs*

This point and the one below it are the only other ones, that we share as well.

*They’re super comfortable with each other*

This one goes a very long way, that being able to share what you want to do no matter how unusual works well for us.

*They are best friends*

Plus one doesn't need to be best friends either, sure it might help some people to have great sex yet it might not. I would say my wife and I are best friends, yet we were having tremendous sex throughout the time, we weren't best friends. While I have been in two other longish term ongoing sexual relationships (including my first marriage) that featured great sex, yet I certainly wasn't best friends with either of them.

Plus as an aside the author of the linked article had another article about foreplay. In that article she claims sex toys are a must and that one should always use an externally sourced lube.

What a load of bollocks, and lame marketing nonsense.



> Lube is an absolute must. It is non-negotiable. The vagina self-lubricates, but the vast majority of the time, it's not enough. Lube is not only a helping hand during intercourse, but also during foreplay. No one needs painful rugburn due to dry fingers, ya know?
> 
> ...
> 
> Just use lube, OK? Promise?


My wife lubes so much naturally, that it always drips and runs out of her constantly, when she is aroused. She has so much natural lube, I can wipe it off her and use it as lube for anal sex on her as I normally do.

If you need additional lube, then do use it. On the other hand if you don't need it, then don't use it.

As to sex toys being a must, sure they can be fun. Yet ours hardly get used and that doesn't prevent me from rogering my wife silly in a kaleidoscope of different ways.

Personally if I was looking for "how to's" on having a high sex, sexual relationship. I certainly wouldn't be seeking her advice.

On the other hand if I was wanting to be sold something, I would certainly lap up her ideas and recommendations with reckless abandon.


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## SeattleWill (Aug 8, 2018)

Making love with your spouse is in no ay abnormal. In most societies couples have sex in the same room as their kids and often even more people. Married sex is not sinful or wrong.


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