# I've been thinking about asking someone out but...



## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

I don't think I should. The girl I'm speaking of goes to my church, is a beautiful girl, and is the cousin of a girl I once had a crush on. Although I never dated her cousin, we did share a few conversations via text, Facebook, etc. I just think it's kinda weird. Thoughts anyone?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I don't see any problem. What exactly is bothering you?


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

marksaysay said:


> I don't think I should. The girl I'm speaking of goes to my church, is a beautiful girl, and is the cousin of a girl I once had a crush on. Although I never dated her cousin, we did share a few conversations via text, Facebook, etc. I just think it's kinda weird. Thoughts anyone?


Weirder things have happened.

You just talked to the cousin, so what. I guess you have talked to many cousins of many women unknown to you who could be potential dates in the future.

Or don't you want to cross paths with your old crush, which would be a possibility when dating her cousin. But if you did not even date your crush, who cares? (except you apparently??)


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

go for it. coffee after church?


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

I don't see anything weird about it. Unless you're a weirdo or a creep.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Not to be harsh, but if you have concerns about something like this,, you have bigger fish to fry first. Ask the girl out and stop making excuses. What is the worst that can happen? She says no? So what, there are plenty more where she came from.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

If you are interested in a girl it's a far better strategy to ask her out and risk her declining your invitation than to waste time wondering whether you should or shouldn't. Think about it this way, if she's interested you win. If she's not interested then you don't have to invest any time or energy in wondering and are free to move onto the next one. Being direct is really a win-win situation.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

So I asked and she said yes. BUT then we talked and I found out she doesn't have a job. I kinda lost interest...lol. But what can one date hurt, right?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

marksaysay said:


> So I asked and she said yes. BUT then we talked and I found out she doesn't have a job. I kinda lost interest...lol. But what can one date hurt, right?


on your first date ask why she doesn't have a job? she might have a good reason. or she might be a princess who expects never to have to work.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> on your first date ask why she doesn't have a job? she might have a good reason. or she might be a princess who expects never to have to work.


Since we've been going to church together for a while, I know quite a bit about her but the job thing I didn't know. I'll find out and proceed with caution...lol


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I see no issues so far. At this point you seem to be your own worst enemy.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

marksaysay said:


> So I asked and she said yes. BUT then we talked and I found out she doesn't have a job.


I guess you're not going Dutch then. :grin2:

Seriously though, just go and have a good time.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Bananapeel said:


> I guess you're not going Dutch then. :grin2:
> 
> Seriously though, just go and have a good time.


LOL. That's what I was planning on doing. Who knows? I might even be able to help her.


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## MRR (Sep 14, 2015)

marksaysay said:


> LOL. That's what I was planning on doing. Who knows? I might even be able to help her.


help her what...?


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

MRR said:


> help her what...?


Idk. She's 30 something with no job. Maybe just some encouragement to change her mindset. As I stated earlier, I've known her for years because we attend the same church so I'm pretty familiar with her.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Nothing ventured nothing gained. Ask her. Worse case she says no


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

marksaysay said:


> Idk. She's 30 something with no job. Maybe just some encouragement to change her mindset. As I stated earlier, I've known her for years because we attend the same church so I'm pretty familiar with her.


Probably best to not do that. But then again I don't do the damsel in distress thing. My general life strategy is to focus on being the best overall person I can be and living a life with purpose, direction, and meaning. Women tend to find that more attractive than guys trying to fix them. If she's into you and wants a LTR then she'll take the initiative to make herself more attractive, even if that means finding a job. And if she doesn't then enjoy your date(s) but move on if she doesn't meet your standards.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

@Bananapeel. I said "maybe" because I would only offer advise if asked. We've gone to the same church for 15 yrs or more and she's aware of some things I've had to deal with over the years. If she asks, I will share but only then. At this point, our "date" would be nothing more than a couple of acquaintances having a good time together. The no job thing is a deal breaker!


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## MRR (Sep 14, 2015)

marksaysay said:


> @Bananapeel. I said "maybe" because I would only offer advise if asked. We've gone to the same church for 15 yrs or more and she's aware of some things I've had to deal with over the years. If she asks, I will share but only then. At this point, our "date" would be nothing more than a couple of acquaintances having a good time together. The no job thing is a deal breaker!


so you could help her by being like a free therapist?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

@marksaysay

Sounds like you're making excuses cause you're scared of rejection.

If you smashed the cousin I could kinda see your point I guess.

But, I agree with everyone else. Stop being a puss and ask her out for beverage.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Are you the same person who's posted several times in the past about wanting to date a younger woman who goes to your church? If so, is this the woman?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

marksaysay said:


> I don't think I should. The girl I'm speaking of goes to my church, is a beautiful girl, and is the cousin of a girl I once had a crush on. Although I never dated her cousin, we did share a few conversations via text, Facebook, etc. I just think it's kinda weird. Thoughts anyone?


Is she in the process of looking for a job? How does she survive with no money?


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Openminded said:


> Are you the same person who's posted several times in the past about wanting to date a younger woman who goes to your church? If so, is this the woman?


Yes I am that person and the women mentioned in that thread was this girl's cousin.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*What possible difference does not having a job make? Maybe she's a self-sustaining volunteer worker!

Give her a shot! You'll never fully know until you try!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

She already doesn't meet your expectations because she's 30 and doesn't have a job, and you will "help her with her mind set" if she asks, which means you want/think you can fix her.

If you're looking for a booty call and approach it that way and she's willing then go for it, other wise it sounds like you look at her as a project, which probably won't end well. 

My vote is to leave her alone and focus on someone you respect.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Cooper said:


> She already doesn't meet your expectations because she's 30 and doesn't have a job, and you will "help her with her mind set" if she asks, which means you want/think you can fix her.
> 
> If you're looking for a booty call and approach it that way and she's willing then go for it, other wise it sounds like you look at her as a project, which probably won't end well.
> 
> My vote is to leave her alone and focus on someone you respect.


I don't do "booty calls" so that's out. And after a couple of recent conversations, it became apparent she would not be someone I would consider dating. No job, no car, and no ambition. 

We've known each other a long time and I wouldn't have a problem hanging out and enjoying some fun together. But I'm pretty sure that would be it!


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## MRR (Sep 14, 2015)

marksaysay said:


> I don't do "booty calls" so that's out. And after a couple of recent conversations, it became apparent she would not be someone I would consider dating. No job, no car, and no ambition.
> 
> We've known each other a long time and I wouldn't have a problem hanging out and enjoying some fun together. But I'm pretty sure that would be it!


So basically you would be ok with her being a booty call.


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