# Young with No Sex Drive



## SMarie62012 (Apr 1, 2012)

Let me start out by saying I am not married - but feel like I am due to my circumstances. I'm only 23 years old and have been with the same man since I've been 15. (He's 1 year older than me) He was the first man I ever had sex with and my first real boyfriend. I ended up getting pregnant at 17, and I recently had another child with him who is now 6 months old.

At the beginning of our relationship (before children) - our sex life was good and we would fool around nearly everyday. After our first child, we broke up and I ended up dating another guy.We eventually got back together but have broken up many times over the years, in which I dated other men in between. 

For the last few years, my sex drive for him has completely went away. I don't like kissing, having sex with him, or even touching him. I love him very much and I do find him attractive, but I just don't understand why I can't get myself to want to be with him. I know that it's not my libido because my sex drive was through the roof when I dated other guys. 

I don't want to break up with him but I'm only 23 and I don't want to live the rest of my life without the desire to have sex. Even when we do, it feels like a chore. I told him how I felt and I know that it makes him feel bad and it's putting a strain on our relationship. We have sex maybe once every 2 months or so. He's tried being romantic, getting rid of the kids so we can be alone, etc. but nothing seems to help.

I would appreciate any advice on what I should do. - Thank you!


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Do you feel that you missed out on too much, because you were tied down with kids at such a young age? That could be a part of it. Maybe you want to experience a different man.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> Do you feel that you missed out on too much, because you were tied down with kids at such a young age? That could be a part of it. Maybe you want to experience a different man.


Sounds like she "experienced" a number of other men on the break ups.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

I think you just don't find him sexy anymore, maybe because he's hurt you too many times.

I think you inwardly know that his "trying to be romantic" is just that... an attempt, but inside you have feelings that until you get over/through you won't enjoy being with him.

My advice: go see a councilor/therapist. Even if just by yourself to help you explore/understand what you feel. If after some time with the therapist you realize the love is gone you have your answer... but maybe you just need to get over something in your past so you can move on.

BTW does he love the kids and is he good with them?


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## reset button (Mar 14, 2012)

If your are on hormonal birth control, try condoms for awhile.

Birth Control pills etc.. can serously lower your libido, and you become indifferent to sex in general and can just do without.

Pill almost ruined my marriage,
(PS your doctors will tell you its not the case if they want you to stay on them) I know for a fact they are full of crap. LOL

Good Luck


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The primary function of your relationship is not to send electric shocks through your nether regions but to support the development of two young children. You can't judge the quality of a relationship by comparing the emotions involved in "dating" sex witih those involved in having sex with a partner of 8 years. Dating sex just plain feels different and if you actually hooked up with any of those guys you dated, sex with them would eventually feel less exciting than sex with a stranger. Part of what makes new sex exciting is the discovery, anticipation, and risk (will he like...will he not like...) You don't get that with long term relationship sex. You do get other things that can be even better. Nobody knows what else might be out there. What we do know is your kids have a mom and a dad and unless either of you are monsters, your kids will be better off if mom and dad stay together. Happiness is a choice each of us makes. If you want sex to be exciting with your current partner, you can fix that. Any man on earth has the ability to get you off. Not that many can be great fathers and life partners. If I lived with the mother of my two kids, she'd have to be evil incarnate before I'd break up the family.


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