# Need Advice Depression...



## thirdmoon (Sep 3, 2011)

Hi,

I really need advice from people dealing with depression or with someone is depression. (And Sorry for my English, it's not my first language).

I am not living with my boyfriend but he is more and more isolating himself from me. He is beginning a treatment and seeing a therapist. But communication is so so hard and I found myself going into depression too. And, well I do not know if I need to keep going sending him positive words and letting him know that I love him and that I will be there after too. Because he is not calling or writing I do not know if I need to let him alone or if it's the opposite and need to be more there. I am feeling so helpless sometimes, he just seems so different that sometimes I am wondering if he loves me...and actually before knowing he was depressed I asked him because he was so different and he is saying "I don't know" it's so hard to keep hope sometimes. Thank you so much if any of you can give me some advice.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

Is he taking any medication for the depression? It might be wise to stick around until the depression goes away if it does. If it does not go away, you will have some tough decisions to make. Don't think that getting married will fix any of the problems either. Marriage has a way of magnifying previous problems (especially mental health problems).


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## thirdmoon (Sep 3, 2011)

Riverside MFT said:


> Is he taking any medication for the depression? It might be wise to stick around until the depression goes away if it does. If it does not go away, you will have some tough decisions to make. Don't think that getting married will fix any of the problems either. Marriage has a way of magnifying previous problems (especially mental health problems).


Thank you! Yes he began 10 days ago a medication ...well marriage was not in our plan. I am separated and i have a kid and he is 15 years older than me, in separation too but it's not going well with they little one and he is not sure about anything. So, for me it's kind of hard to be in the middle of not knowing exactly.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Many times a person suffering from depression withdraw from the world. Unfortunately that also includes withdrawing from those people who love them most. The best thing you can do is be there for him--but, at the same time, not overdoing it. A little space is helpful. Give the medicine at least six weeks to show some results.


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## thirdmoon (Sep 3, 2011)

Thank you 827Aug. He started to be that way 2 month ago but one month ago he was still sending me some notes or messages with some affection on it or saying he thinking of me...but since that period I am letting him more space, seeing him 1 time each 2 weeks but he is no more sending spontaneous messages he is replying to mine sometimes. And I am trying to be as simple as possible, sending him links for music, trying to be positive but it's so hurting me in a way that I got a depression myself...they said seems to be reactional...and never was like that before. :-(


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