# How can they be so thoughtless or me so stupid?



## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

Well we told our son about the divorce on Monday night and he took it well. He didn't cry but he was sad. He said he wasn't surprised because he had seen me crying and he heard us fighting. He also said he saw on my favorites some saved sites about divorce. He then asked could go outside and play basketball? I said ok but I was a bit surprised.He ended up sleeping over at the neighbors. I wanted to say no but I didn't know what was going on in his 12yr old mind. Maybe he needed the distraction. Anyway the next day he hung out with stbxh and asked his dad some questions about custody and stbxh reassured him and they planned his new room in Dads house. I was a little upset by all of this but I know I shouldn't be. So last night we decided to take him to a movie and dinner to spend some family time before stbxh moves. After movie at dinner it all came over my son. He started to cry then was all over me hugging and saying he loved me and his dad. It was difficult on all 3 of us. Well we both had 2 margaritas with dinner and went home. While my stbxh was out of the room my son told me he heard his father and I talking about him having cheated on me. I was stunned and didn't know what to say. I told him we would discuss it later with dad. He also told me he didn't want his dad to go this weekend b/c it's too soon. Well after my son went to bed I told stbxh all of this. We were both upset and had wine(him more than me). Well one thing lead to another and we had sex(great sex). We cuddled all night and he carressed me this morning. Then he left to go furniture shopping for his new house!!!!! Why am I so stupid? I even told myself during that it meant nothing and not to get my hopes up. But I still did. We discussed this sort of thing 2 days ago and I told him that his touching me or initiating sex was cunfussing and hurtful for me. He said he understood. So why can't he care or respect me enough to say no to me. This is so painful.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You need to take ownership of your feelings and healing. Be responsible for yourself. And that means telling him to keep his hands to himself.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

PBear said:


> You need to take ownership of your feelings and healing. Be responsible for yourself. And that means telling him to keep his hands to himself.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well if she`s really going to be responsible for herself she should be more interested in keeping her hands to herself.

Sex is a two way street I don`t know why he`s to blame for this slip up especially when it was her who had a problem with any sexual contact.

Edit:

This statement is some serious heavy duty blameshifting.



cantmove said:


> So why can't he care or respect me enough to say no to me.


WTF?


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

Maybe I am shifting the blame. I don't know. I didn't go into it thinking it would change anything but at the same time I can't help but hope he will change his mind. I love him and want him to stay. I know he's leaving but I'm having a hard time accepting that it's over. I've known less than a week.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

if you are confused, imagine your son, false hope will kill him too. and you don't want to become the other women either. I know he's your husband but if you let him he will use for sex. LET HIM MISS YOU..


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## Speed (Dec 9, 2011)

I don't mean to be harsh, but damn, you gotta pick yourself up and take control. He is walking all over you and you are letting him.


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