# unhappy new dad



## newmom22 (Mar 18, 2011)

I have a 3 month old daughter. My husband and I have been married for 2 years and always knew we wanted kids. However, ever since my daughter was born, my husband seems annoyed by how time consuming she is. 

My husband and I talked alot before my daughter was born about whether I would continue with school and work. We decided that I would still work full time and take one class a semester. My schedule alternates but makes it so my husband has to watch my daughter by himself for some long days on the weekends or overnight. 

Every time a day or night is coming up that he needs to watch her by humself he gets annoyed. He says his day or night is ruined when he needs to watch her and that he won't be able to get anything done. Whenever I try to talk about it, he get offensive and says, "why do you make me feel like a bad father?" 

I get really nervous about leaving her alone with him because he seems so impatient with her. I thought he was going to be a really good dad, but he doesn't seem very happy at all. He told me the other day he has nothing to look forward to.

I guess I don't really know what to do. I couldn't be happier about our new baby, but my husband is really irritating me. Is this normal behavior for a new dad?


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

do you put in the same long days and overnights? if so, tell him you do the same thing and tell him to suck it up.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I was terrified after I had our first child. I had heard how it was supposed to change my life. But I, like your husband, only saw this alien looking poop machine that didn't let anyone sleep and cried all of the time. I was woried that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. 

Then at 6 weeks or so, his smile chnged from that gassy grin new parents confuse with a real smile. His eyes would light up with his smile when I walked into a room. I was hooked.

I'm a little concerned that it's been 3 months and that he's so willing to make it harder for you in the way he tells you, but I do feel there is a chance he will get over it. I don't know ANYBODY that is not infatuated with their kids. I don't think that's possible. I am proof that it may take a while to get there, but everyone loves their children. Don't they?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

First time being parents really not easy. It's hard to take care of a new born and it's true it's time consuming and exhausting. 
You need to give encouragement and show your appreciation of his good care of your daughter.
Maybe he needs some good information how to baby sit.
Pls don't criticise him as if he is really a lousy husband and father.
He isn't bad at all, compared to my ex husband who never ever change a diaper and feed a bottle of milk to the baby we have.
So be loving, understanding and supportive to your husband.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

It is unfortunate, but most of us are not trained to become parents, especially men, and especially regarding babies. It is a foreign experience for sure for must of us.

This is not to excuse, but to perhaps explain his discomfort, both with anticipating taking care of the baby and his accusation that you are accusing him of being a bad father.

Perhaps you could just try to be as positive as you can, make sure he understands how much you appreciate his willingness to do what he does, and just put up with his sour nature until he gets used to it. 

Hopefully things will get better with time and experience. In a few years, when he comes home from work every day, and as soon as he opens the door his little daughter yells "Daddy!!!!" and runs to him to give him a big hug, his outlook on fatherhood will probably change. God I miss those days. Now instead of hugs every day, my son calls from college when he needs money


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Your irritation is understandable.
He didn't know she would be so time consuming. Who did he think would care for a baby. It's not like she can walk in the kitchen, and make herself an omelet.


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