# OMG my heart hurts so much



## indistressed (Sep 14, 2009)

Just had a brief conversation with my h about finance and started asking him if he felt that his decision of leaving was the right one? He said that yes since we will not be together we can't live together. I started asking how he knew that we couldn't be together and he said that we had nothing together all that held us was our 2 kids. I asked for more details so he said that if we would be together he would probably cheat again bcause he is/was not happy with me. I did not make him happy so asked for more how is it that I did not make you happy? Well if you want an example the fisical attraction is not there so that is one reason and the other there is no connection. OMG I am in so much pain I can't stop crying, I wanted some explanation for all this and I guess I got I was looking for but DAM it hurt so much to hear those words out the person that you shared ur goods and bads for almost 10 years & still love. He is out no dought about that, and here I am not able to calm self down and pick up to continue. When will it stop hurting so much??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wren (Aug 19, 2009)

You are not responsible for making HIM happy. No one makes us feel anything. We have to be happy with ourselves first and foremost. Then a relationship can add to our happiness.
I know it hurts to the core to hear all his reasons for leaving. Most of us on this board have heard similar comments. The pain isn't going anywhere right now. Allow yourself to feel it. Cry your eyes out. Check out other threads. Read our stories. Check out my book list thread. Reading can help keep your mind busy while healing your heart with words.
I would leave him be. And just try to take care of your needs. I'm sorry. I know the pain.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I know it must hurt like hell honey, and nothing anyone can say will make it better. But now is the time, like wren said, that you have to focus on yourself and your children. Dust yourself off, and get a plan. Can you still cry about this? of course you can. Does that mean you can't start making plans? Nope. Get a plan together of what you want to happen. What do you need for you? What is gonna help you feel better? What is best for the kids? Get answers and start mapping out what you want in life. Screw him, worry about you!


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## Ash22 (Oct 21, 2009)

indistressed said:


> I asked for more details so he said that if we would be together he would probably cheat again bcause he is/was not happy with me. I did not make him happy
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It hurts yes but the answer that this man gave you? He gave you an honest answer and no its not the one that you wanted to hear but take that answer and move forward. Think about this, say you guys decide to give it another go and he tells you everything you want to hear and you do everything that you can to "keep him/you/both of you together happy" and then you find out that he is cheating on you....better to deal with the pain now and move forward. You can do it! All of us on here are. And yes somedays hurt so much you can barely move or even breathe, but eventually those days happen less and less and less. View this as a obstacle that is going to make you a much stronger individual.


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