# ...so what's a good Mum?



## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

The flip side to Creda's thread is pertinent for me given a conversation within the past hour about how OH parents and I parent. 
Are the essentials the same or not? How would anyone list their priorities once food, shelter, no abuse, etc., are covered?


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I did not see credam's post, but to this topic:

- Unconditional love.
- Safety
- Positive, effective, investment discipline to teach them to be responsible, self reliant, with the esteem to resist peer pressure... (This one sentence is a life study afaic)
- Closeness in terms fo fun times together, bonding, togetherness

I do not agree with jimrich that friendship is part of it. I owe them an upbringing. And friendship is mutually exclusive from that.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I agree with mom6547. I think children need two things in order to do well, love and structure. Love is about respect, listening, hope, empathy, charity, etc. Structure would include things like respect, appropriate discipline, routines and boundaries. I also think we should not be our children's best friend. We should be their parent.


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## bunnybear (Jan 13, 2011)

Support, Good role model, Cook like a good chef so my kids will never forget my cooking, Travel, Learn new things together, etc....


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## jimrich (Sep 26, 2010)

Mom6547


> I do not agree with jimrich that friendship is part of it. I owe them an upbringing. And friendship is mutually exclusive from that.


Mom, what is your definition of friendship? :scratchhead:


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

jimrich said:


> Mom6547
> Mom, what is your definition of friendship? :scratchhead:


Friendship is an equal relationship in which each has responsibility and benefit to the other.


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## jimrich (Sep 26, 2010)

Mom6547 said:


> Friendship is an equal relationship in which each has responsibility and benefit to the other.


Thanks. I probably meant "friendly".


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Why can't parents be friends with their adult children??


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Riverside MFT said:


> I agree with mom6547. I think children need two things in order to do well, love and structure. Love is about respect, listening, hope, empathy, charity, etc. Structure would include things like respect, appropriate discipline, routines and boundaries. I also think we should not be our children's best friend. We should be their parent.


:iagree: Too many parents think that their children owe them respect, yet they clearly show no respect for their children.


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