# How do you know when it's too late to try anymore?



## mg33 (Jul 19, 2013)

Even though I've contemplated divorce seriously for a long time now, I truly don't want to go through that and ultimately want to be in a happy marriage. In order to do so I need to know how to stop resenting my husband. 

He has done so much in the past that has hurt me. He has let me down time and again. I don't feel like I mean very much to him. Because of this I have a wall up, have pretty much checked out and am withdrawn. We have small little nothing conversations about trivial things - tv, pop culture, etc... but not about our relationship. I refuse to let my guard down for fear he will see that as a sign of "everything's cool now." 

There was a time (looong ago) we were very close. I don't know if my pride is getting in the way of giving it yet another chance or if I'm right in being cautious? I'm sick of getting hurt and looking like an idiot for accepting everything the way it currently is.

So, how do you let go of stuff that happened in the past? Can it really be done? Is it possible to love someone again after the person has hurt you very much?


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## Eaglecheergirl (Sep 4, 2013)

It's hard and yet you need to forgive but by forgiving doesn't mean that your are forgetting it is just lifting the burden from your heart. I myself have forvien over and over and just when I am about to let my guard down then he does something and even if it is something small it dredges up all the other things that he has done. In that, I feel like it is a never ending circle of pain, sadness and no trust ect... I am firm believer in counseling as I am a counselor myself but if you slack when things seem better then in time it seems to start all over. I had a marvelous 1 year and as soon as I started getting those IN LOVE feelings back then he did something that reminded me of the past and right back up with the wall I went to the point that I am seriously considering filing these divorce papers. Forgive for yourself no one else!!! No one wants divorce I know that it will be sad but I feel like I am wasting the better years of my life waiting on something that will never happen so my advice is to step outside the box and look in....if you see hope then stay and work at it but if you don't then get your happiness and freedom...


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## mg33 (Jul 19, 2013)

Thank you eaglecheergirl. I feel very similar in that I have tried time and time again but something new happens that dredges up old pain, etc...

I've been to a few counseling sessions myself which has given me confirmation that what I am feeling is warranted, but it doesn't really help because he doesn't go with me to hear it.

I appreciate your feedback. Good luck to you -wishing you the best for your situation. Have a nice weekend


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## lfortender (Sep 18, 2012)

What happened in the past? Did he cheat on you? What he did? You must tell him, talk to him and see what's the best decision to make. Do you have kids? Sometimes a divorce is better than live the entire life unhappy.


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