# So I left him today



## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

So, I posted the other day in the private section about my boyfriend being mentally abusive, and controlling and being obsessed with guns. 

This morning, he called me dumb. I finally snapped and decided I'd had enough, so I left him. My parents helped me get all my stuff and my kids and I moved out. I took what little money was left in the bank account, since he used all the money I had. He's now still insulting me and calling me a c**t on top of it. 

I know I made the right decision, and in most ways I feel so much better now. But there's a part that still hurts. I don't get that. He was so mean to me, so horrible, he still is. He was too hard on my kids. So why the heck does it hurt?

I hate this so much.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Hi Wendy ~

(((( Hugs ))))

Good for you for being strong enough to do what was best for your children and for you!

I am sure that it does hurt (it hurts me just to read it), and I am sure that there was obviously a part of this man that you loved at one point. Sometimes change can be hard and is scary, but it can also open doors of opportunity for you. And you deserve that.

Best wishes and God Bless!


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I am so glad you left him.

Rather then mourning him, I think you are grieving for what could have been if he was a different person, and what you hoped was going to be from the start, but never happened. He will never be the guy you thought he was or want him to be.

I am so happy for you and your children.


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## arg101 (Jun 19, 2011)

i know what your talking about
my husband left yesterday after me begging him for months to go (we hav a baby and it wud be impossible for me to go with the baby right now) this is what i thought i wanted but ever since he left i cant stop crying and i really miss him
when we were together he was cruel to me and he never treated me well, he never showed me he cared about me by cheating, leaving me at home all day, saying really cruel things about me and laughing at me....
even on our wedding day he stole money from me and went off with his friends, hes been really horrible in the past and that made me lose all repect for him
i couldnt wait til he was gone as he was so controlling but know hes gone i cant stop thinking of all the good things like how hes an amazing father, how he tried to make it up to me all the stuff he did....
hes coming round tomorrow and i know im going to be all weak and let him back, even though its probably right we are apart but i cant stop thinkin of our baby and how much we will miss him, help lol


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

He sounded like a nut any way.

I think it hurt so much so that when we move on we don't get emotionally attached to the 1st person we run in to. 

I think its some kind of mechinism in our head that makes us feel this was so as to protect us in the future IDK..I'm just trying to help

Bottom line is breaking up is hard to do! You will move on and you will be OK it always works out.


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## JLynnMann (Apr 6, 2011)

No matter what happens/has happened in a relationship- it seems we always grieve the loss (even if the loss was a positive thing). I grieved the loss of my ex husband and the day I left was bittersweet for me. Good because it was a horrible, mentally abusive situation. Sad and hurt because I fought through so much for our relationship. 
Losing that relationship is hard. In the end (for me) I gained my self confidence back. I lost over 100 lbs and I began to care about ME again and my children again. Things I had somehow lost sight of.
In my marriage now things are much different because I found myself and won't let that be taken away again. It helps that I have a husband whom won't let me put anyone else over myself like I have a tendency to do. He and my kids are still the most important people in my life but now I have a place too- a place in which I matter also. I have 'ME' time- something I'd forgotten how to have.

It isn't easy hon but it is so worth it. You and your children will blossom in this new atmosphere without being criticized and feeling squashed! 
Congrats on your first step toward a new beginning!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Of course you made the right choice. He's trash. You deserve to held up in the highest love and esteem no matter what trash tells you. Screw him and the double wide he came from.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Of course you made the right choice. He's trash. You deserve to held up in the highest love and esteem no matter what trash tells you. Screw him and the double wide he came from.


While all the comments made here made me feel better, this one made me laugh so hard. And I desperately needed that. Thank you so much. 

I know I did the right thing. And every time I start to doubt that, I simply replay all the horrible things he said to me, and did to me, and it makes me made enough to stay firm in my decision. 

I just hate the hurt that comes with it. I hate feeling like I'm losing something even though I know I'm not really losing anything at all. I know that I'm really gaining so much. It's just...my heart doesn't seem to have gotten that message yet.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I'm so sorry that it ended this way...

...please stay strong.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I am truly sorry that things didn't work out. I do hope the best for the future, and that you someday find someone who treats you how you should be treated. Love, repsect and kindness


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

Hi Wendy,

I'm so very sorry your promising relationship with your trucker came to this, I know you are strong, and this is not easy but it is very, very right.

Recalling your earlier posts as much as you loved him it was not an entirely easy relationship - I know you enjoyed the long calls at first but it became harder and harder for you.

I just read your posts in the private section - you made the right decision - loaded guns should never be in a house especially one with young children - or for that matter teens.

I copied a bit of this report from
Protect Children, Not Guns 2009

The latest data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that 3,184 children and teens died from gunfire in the United States in 2006—a 6 percent increase from 2005. This means one young life lost every two hours and 45 minutes, almost nine every day, 61 every week.

Of these deaths, 2,225 were homicides, 763 were suicides and 196 were due to an accident or undetermined circumstances. Boys accounted for 2,815 of the deaths; girls for 369 deaths. More than five times as many children and teens―17,451―suffered non-fatal gun injuries.

The number of children and teens in America killed by guns in 2006 would fill more than 127 public school classrooms of 25 students each.
More preschoolers (63) were killed by firearms than law enforcement officers (48) killed in the line of duty.
Black males ages 15 to 19 are almost five times as likely as their White peers and more than twice as likely as their Hispanic peers to be killed by firearms.
Between 1979 and 2006, the yearly number of firearm deaths of White children and teens decreased by about 40 percent, but deaths of Black children and teens increased by 55 percent.
Since 1979, gun violence has ended the lives of 107,603 children and teens in America.
Sixty percent of them were White; 37 percent were Black.​
I also took a look for meth testing - seems if he knows when he'll be tested and he does he can stop using several days ahead of time and come up clean according to this site
Detection of Amphetamines in Urine: Detection of Amphetamines in Urine

Cutoff and Detection Post Dose
The screening immunoassay uses a cutoff of 1000 ng/ml. The cutoff for GC/MS is 500 ng/ml for both metabolites - amphetamine and methamphetamine. Amphetamine has a 7-32 hour half life, depending on the urinary pH. The assay is capable of detecting the use of methamphetamine or amphetamine for 24-48 hours post dose or as long as 72 hours depending on factors such as amount used, fluid intake, excretion, and urinary pH.​
I think he is doing drugs and it isn't Medical MJ.

I agree with those who tell you to get a new phone number, please move quickly and keep your precious children and yourself safe. 






atruckersgirl said:


> So, I posted the other day in the private section about my boyfriend being mentally abusive, and controlling and being obsessed with guns.
> 
> This morning, he called me dumb. I finally snapped and decided I'd had enough, so I left him. My parents helped me get all my stuff and my kids and I moved out. I took what little money was left in the bank account, since he used all the money I had. He's now still insulting me and calling me a c**t on top of it.
> 
> ...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I had no idea you were going through this much Atruckersgirl =/

I hope things get better soon... I don't really know what to say


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

ThinkTooMuch said:


> Hi Wendy,
> 
> I'm so very sorry your promising relationship with your trucker came to this, I know you are strong, and this is not easy but it is very, very right.
> 
> ...


Thank you for the info on the gun safety and the drugs. The drug info is especially helpful. I never knew that. It occurs to me now, too, that this is likely info he knows. My kids have ADHD and are on meds, and he cracked a joke last week about taking one of their pills. When I mentioned that if got drug tested, they'd know, he started telling me all about how it wouldn't show and why. Suffice it to say, I've counted my kids pills to make sure none were missing. 

I tried very hard to hide this from everyone. My friends were all quite surprised tonight to find out what happened. Of course, all my friends and family are firmly on my side, all ready to go to war and hurt him for what he's done to me.  The loyalty I've found in them, and in the kind words here have been an amazing help to me. 

It's amazing. My ex-husband ignores our sons, doesn't pay child support, was convicted of rape, cheated on me, and on a couple of occasions physically abused me. And somehow, my now ex-boyfriend has managed to make my ex-husband look like an almost decent guy. It's amazing in that it scares the crap out of me.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> I had no idea you were going through this much Atruckersgirl =/
> 
> I hope things get better soon... I don't really know what to say


Not much to say. 

Just knowing that people care and are fully in support of my decision is enough. Whenever I begin to second guess myself, I look at the words written here, and the words of my friends and family, and I know that I did the right thing, that I didn't imagine this or blow it out of proportion. Doesn't make it hurt less, but at least it eases my mind a little.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

You have given everyone her lots of good advice and made them strong. Now be strong for yourself.

Good Luck.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Best of luck to you sweetie! You did the right thing, no doubt about it. Now see if you can ask Chris to change you sign on name to Notatruckersgirl.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Best of luck to you sweetie! You did the right thing, no doubt about it. Now see if you can ask Chris to change you sign on name to Notatruckersgirl.


LMAO...I've actually been wondering if that was something I could do. Not necessarily change it to that name, but at least change it so I don't have the constant reminder of him. I think I will check into that.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Glad to see you changed your handle (OOPS! That's a TRUCKERS term!) I will admit that I thought "GED" was a new person, but I recognized the avatar.
So, how have you been holding up?


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