# When the loneliness kicks in...



## StagesOfGrief (Aug 19, 2012)

what did you do to fight it? 

My story is in coping with infidelity if you want to read it, but I have moved out of my house, and will be filing for divorce. My question is while I'm surrounded by supportive friends and family I still feel lonely. I obviously miss that connection, that someone to talk to everyday...etc.

What did you do early on to combat this? 

I try to stay busy, workout, stay at work later, etc to keep my mind distracted.


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## Matt1720 (May 7, 2012)

there's really no fighting it, but there is acknowledging you feel it, while continuing on healing.

check out Demello's Awareness


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

StagesOfGrief said:


> what did you do to fight it?
> 
> My story is in coping with infidelity if you want to read it, but I have moved out of my house, and will be filing for divorce. My question is while I'm surrounded by supportive friends and family I still feel lonely. I obviously miss that connection, that someone to talk to everyday...etc.
> 
> ...


Go out with friends, read a good book, restart an old hobby or take up a new one, sit in a coffee shop sipping a latte and surfing the Internet or reading the paper, do some volunteer work, go for a bike ride or a swim, take a class, get a pet. Don't get into staying late at work to avoid the loneliness. You will become very one-dimensional.


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## StagesOfGrief (Aug 19, 2012)

Frostflower said:


> Go out with friends, read a good book, restart an old hobby or take up a new one, sit in a coffee shop sipping a latte and surfing the Internet or reading the paper, do some volunteer work, go for a bike ride or a swim, take a class, get a pet. Don't get into staying late at work to avoid the loneliness. You will become very one-dimensional.


Thank you, I already am somewhat of overly dedicated to my job so this could push me further away from the reality I want. I will look into those other ideas, especially volunteering. Thank you


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## StagesOfGrief (Aug 19, 2012)

Matt1720 said:


> there's really no fighting it, but there is acknowledging you feel it, while continuing on healing.
> 
> check out Demello's Awareness


Thank you! I will check it out


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I did a few things..

I slept in a room other than the matrimonial bed..

I slept with the TV on for background noise.

I tried to find something that would be calming before bed.. like a green tea or warm milk. Sometimes I would take a Gravol to calm my stomach and help me sleep.

I would read online and assure myself that i am not the only one grieving.

The biggest release I have right now was to get papers served to her so she knew I was serious and meant business.

It has been 6 weeks and I am almost back to normal.

I have made a bucket list and next month I am gonna run my first 5KM race.. something I would have never done before my wife left..I'm not even a runner.


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## Lynn2437 (Jul 19, 2012)

I would do volunteer work, it's a great way to spend time, meet new people and give something.


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## xirokx (Aug 14, 2012)

I so hear you about the loneliness.

Ride the waves of anger, fear, and pain....read "no more mr nice guy" you can get it free from this forum and work on yourself...

Your life, your opportunity....to do as you please...

Different people will suggest what works for them but you have to find what really works for you, process of trial and error....there will be tears, hurt and pain along the way but none of it is in vain...

One day you will look back and be grateful for this time to work on you, especially when you see the changes that you are making due to this sad time in your life...

Hang in there, it will get better


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Sadwithtwolittlegirls said:


> I did a few things..
> 
> I slept in a room other than the matrimonial bed..
> 
> ...


A 5KM race.....good for you, Sad! Although the idea of a bucket list is a little sobering!

Stages, exercise is really helpful. It will help you sleep better too.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I'm turning 40 on Thursday and it is time to do the things I could while i was married... 

No one to say " no you can't do that"


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Sadwithtwolittlegirls said:


> I'm turning 40 on Thursday and it is time to do the things I could while i was married...
> 
> No one to say " no you can't do that"


40? You're a mere child!  Let us know how you make out.

Stages, a friend )) told me that yoga is very relaxing.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

lol.. thanks


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## specialplace (Aug 18, 2012)

Hey, Sad, I'm 40, also!


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

I used TAM lots and lots of TAM :smthumbup:
You know for a month there I also put the tv on comedy central and only strayed to watch adult swim, and I turned the channel whenever something relevant to an affair was on.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

specialplace said:


> Hey, Sad, I'm 40, also!


Enough already, you young whippersnappers!

Some funny videos on Youtube might help.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

I'm going through the exact same feelings of loneliness right now. I'm leaving the marital home in the morning for my parents house. I am all alone right now, while my H still has no clue that I'm leaving yet, because he will try to stop me if I tell him I'm leaving tomorrow.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

somethingelse said:


> I'm going through the exact same feelings of loneliness right now. I'm leaving the marital home in the morning for my parents house. I am all alone right now, while my H still has no clue that I'm leaving yet, because he will try to stop me if I tell him I'm leaving tomorrow.


I'm sorry, Else. I hope it goes well for you. Do let us know how you are.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

meetup.com


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Frostflower said:


> I'm sorry, Else. I hope it goes well for you. Do let us know how you are.


Thanks Frostflower


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