# ladies, who hypenates?



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Who hypenates your name...

an example : Anna NIcole- Solomon ?

is this legal ? What about just using your maiden name? is that legal?
how do you make sure the name you use is legal?

I use a hypenated name on health insurance, dental, but for everything else my maiden name.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I used my maiden name as my middle name, and took my husband's name. It definitely sounds better. We have a city office responsible for name changes. When you get married, it is an easy process to make the change. Just by submitting a copy of your marriage certificate, it is easy to then change your name with everyone else, banks, insurance, etc. I am guessing, getting a divorce would also be an easy name chnge back to your maiden name. Socially, you can ask people to call you whatever you like. Professionally, some women keep the name that they earned their status with.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

my wife made her Maiden name, her "midle" name now since she did not have a middle name.

Also our youngest Child his Middle name is her maiden name to honor her family.

Not a fan of the -

I would have not married my wife if she did not take my last name, that was a deal breaker for me.


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

I hyphenated for a while at the beginning. It made things easier as I was still in school and it was easier than changing all records and such. Although, bills, credit cards, etc were my married name, even though it wasn't my "legal" name. That was just a short time though and then I changed it just to h's name. 

Getting it changed legally was pretty easy, just went to the SS office with a marriage cert. and proof of my former name.


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

No hyphens here. I didn't have a middle name so my maiden name became my new middle name. Fixed it all up starting with the marriage cert so then it was easy to change. The two names didn't go together with a hyphen AT ALL, so this way I got to keep "my" name in there somewhere.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I dont have my last name at all anymore. it didnt matter that much to me since it wasnt my real family name anyway.


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## MsStacy (Nov 11, 2008)

I took my husbands name. Already had a middle name so I just dropped my maiden last name...no hyphens. It was easy to have the last name changed....all that was needed was the marriage cert. - social security office, dmv, work human relations dept, etc. Really easy for bills and things handles through the mail, I just sent out a photocopy of the marriage cert with my next payment.

One thing that surprised me (I used to work in law enforcement) is I have an alias now. Never thought of it that way, but my maiden name is now considered an alias...HA..


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I have a home ( paid for) and many investments, as I'm no youngin'

and I still have a professional license through the state as well in my maiden name...

so I use my maiden name for everything but the health, dental insurance.
I worry maybe I should hypenate it...
but I guess its all legal.

When we BOTH retire and move out of state and I sell my house
then I'll get a new drivers license in the new state and will take my marriage license to the DMV and get my name hypenated.

I guess thats ok, right?
I'm not breaking any actual laws doing this and using my maiden name...
right?
Using my maiden name has nothing to do with how anything sounds...
it's to not occur legal problems with investments and cashing checks, etc...


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

mommy22 said:


> My maiden name is now my middle name. I dropped my middle name. No hyphens.


Thats cool.
Never thought of that


and in reading all the posts, I see lots of people do that.


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## MsStacy (Nov 11, 2008)

preso said:


> I guess thats ok, right?
> I'm not breaking any actual laws doing this and using my maiden name...
> right?
> Using my maiden name has nothing to do with how anything sounds...
> it's to not occur legal problems with investments and cashing checks, etc...


Nothing illegal about keeping your maiden name. It is not required, nor "law" that you have to change your name or take your husbands name when you marry.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Took DH's last name. Tracing ancestors by name is blase' (old school).

All ancestors are traced by an X chromosome and you don't get that in a name.  THAT is far more important. 

My CHILDREN don't take my name, I GIVE them my X. Ta-da!!!!! The only way to accurately trace female ancestry is through X chromosomes.


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

GAsoccerman said:


> my wife made her Maiden name, her "midle" name now since she did not have a middle name.
> 
> Also our youngest Child his Middle name is her maiden name to honor her family.
> 
> ...


Same here. I let her keep her maiden name for her business world. But everything else she changed her last name. Also a deal breaker. Funny, she had a couple friends tell her that if I couldnt accept a hyphenated name then she shouldnt marry me. Even more funny, those two "ladies" are still single at 34.





John


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Yes, since my wife's "professional" license is in her maiden name, that is pretty much why.

She does have both last names on facebook, which I told her to do becuase this way old friends from before her "married days" can locate her.

The reason it was a deal breaker for me is I am traditional that way and why should our little family be:

Dad jones
Kid 1 Jones
Kid 2 Jones
Kid 3 Jones
Mom Smith

A bit confusing to kids and probably for them why they have to "explain" that no they are not a step family, No mom and dad were never divorced, why does Mommy have a different last name then me? etc.

If we were to divorce I would have no problem with her switching her name back (emotional wise)

But if we are a happy little family then why not be the traditional way? Plus I suggested she use it as her Middle name and when our second son was born I wanted to use her fathers name for his middle name, but she asked if we could use the maiden name, I said That is fine, works for me.

Again, communication and Compromise.

Our kids know and understand that "Smith" is mommy's maiden name and it changed to Daddy's when we got married.

If she demanded to keep her maiden name I would ahve let her, we would have not gotten married then., Simple as that.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

NothingMan said:


> Same here. I let her keep her maiden name for her business world. But everything else she changed her last name. Also a deal breaker. Funny, she had a couple friends tell her that if I couldnt accept a hyphenated name then she shouldnt marry me. Even more funny, those two "ladies" are still single at 34.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Her friends sound silly John

lol


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

preso said:


> Her friends sound silly John
> 
> lol


They're good friends, I like them, but sometimes they have ideals and ideas that arent conducive to long-term relationships



John


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I suppose you two know each other?? cute dog


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I guess I'll have to start hypenating. Just got my drivers license renewed before we were married and its good for 10 years.
so........... will wait until I have to get another one.

Certainly all business transactions will recognize since my name is hypenated on the drivers license, I can go by either name.
I hope.



ps...
GA, just from here, like I know you.
That dog isn't mine but mine looks exactly like it... a fluffy butterball... I call him bacon boy and bunny paws... and all kinds of names my husband thinks are silly. lol
When I wake up in the morning, he is sleeping under my arm or on my shoulder, he's so gentle I don't even realize he has crawled into bed and cuddling. 
I love dogs, but mostly mine


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## wonderful (Aug 7, 2009)

preso said:


> Who hypenates your name...
> 
> an example : Anna NIcole- Solomon ?
> 
> ...


I never have before but am now.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I would not have married a guy who insisted I take his last name. I kept my own. Our kids are hyphenated and have been told that they can change their names legally when they are adults (at 4, my son wanted to change his name to "Lightning," hence the need to wait for some level of maturity to kick in). 

What is wrong with being single at 34? Marriage is not the "goal" of life--it's simply another stage, and some of us pass through it, others don't. Given that those two ladies seem to live in a place with neanderthals who feel they "own" their wives, it's no surprise they have chosen to remain single!

Children do NOT get confused; they are quite clear on who parents them and loves them and who does not. Names don't mean a damn thing when it comes to that. Think of all the little kids running around with the last name of a deadbeat dad (much more common, still, than a deadbeat mom). Does that name mean anything? Nope. Often, those kids do not even know the guy; he was basically a sperm donor.

Preso, you are not breaking any laws! there is NO assumption that you have your husband's last name.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Sorry you feel that way sister, but that is your choice and we all make choices and glad your husband is accepting of your wish.

Again I am more treaditional, so is my wife in this area. 

Yes Preso, you are doing nothing illegal (that we know of  )


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## WantsHappiness (Jun 17, 2009)

I took my husband’s last name legally and hyphenate professionally as I have a client base and didn’t want them getting confused or thinking I had left the company. 

Preso: just to add to the count, you are not doing anything illegal. You can do whatever you want  You should sign all legal documents in the manner that your name is registered with the government (on your Social Security card) though. 

GA and Nothingman: How would you have felt about taking your wife’s last name? This is happening more and more and solves the problem of everyone in the family unit having the same last name.


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

I just remembered seeing something about needing names on ID to match airline tickets and how they are cracking down a lot more than they used to.
So, make sure you make any airline reservations in the EXACT name that is on your ID (license or passport). 
http://www.newsday.com/travel/new-rules-airline-ticket-name-must-match-id-exactly-1.1240723


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Leahdorus said:


> I just remembered seeing something about needing names on ID to match airline tickets and how they are cracking down a lot more than they used to.
> So, make sure you make any airline reservations in the EXACT name that is on your ID (license or passport).
> New rules: Airline ticket name must match ID exactly


hmmm, ok.. thanks
will keep that in mind.

It's too bad I can't use my husbands last name, he has a nice last name... but as I said I have too many investments and legal things to do so... and my pension check comes in my maiden name too.
House is paid for and in my name, car is the same, so is car insurance. etc etc etc.......


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Preso how many times have you been Married? See now like I can understand not taking a name after your first marriage or if your a widow and getting re-marriedat a older age.

Bottom line it is really up to the couple to decide what is best for them and really no one else should care.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

GAsoccerman said:


> Preso how many times have you been Married? .


depends on which state your in how many times
but I have always used my maiden name. This time
my husband has a very appealing last name
and I would like to change but can't...
also is the matter of investments and pension money coming
in my name as well as drivers license.


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

WantsHappiness said:


> GA and Nothingman: How would you have felt about taking your wife’s last name? This is happening more and more and solves the problem of everyone in the family unit having the same last name.



Well, honestly it would never happen. My dad's old fashioned, I'm old fashioned. In my opinion the wife takes the husbands last name. I also make considerations for business purposes. Since my wife uses her maiden name for business and I have no problems with it.

Sister - We neanderthals up here in the northeast generally club our women on the head and drag em back to our caves and make them do all sorts of things they dont like. Making fur clothes, starting fires, cooking food they had to gather for us, parenting our baby neanderthals and basically do what we say when we say it. The worst thing we do, we big bad neanderthal men, we make them take our last name! OH the horror.




John


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Agree with GA on this. It would just feel odd if my wife didn't take my name.


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

GAsoccerman said:


> Preso how many times have you been Married? See now like I can understand not taking a name after your first marriage or if your a widow and getting re-marriedat a older age.
> 
> Bottom line it is really up to the couple to decide what is best for them and really no one else should care.


My mother's been married 4 times....her's went like this...

1st marriage= Hubby's name
2nd= Maiden-Hubby's name
3rd= Hubby's name
4th= Maiden name

I guess she got tired of change it LMAO so she just kept her own this time.

I'm a traditionalist myself I prefer to take my husband's last name....BUT to each their own...it really is up to the couple...I could see where men might be offended though as you are uniting as one and coming together to create a family...but I repeat to each their own...I won't hold it against anyone...do as you wish...


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Rhea said:


> I'm a traditionalist myself I prefer to take my husband's last name......


I wish I could but too many assets and investments...
can you imagine trying to sell my house under another name?
lol
and we are moving in a couple years and I'll need to..

and imagine trying to cash my pension check when its in another name !

My husband has a really nice last name, so it's too bad I can't take it... and will at least have to hypenate at some point.

oh well...
long as its not illegal to still use my maiden name for now.


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