# Ladies; any offense if propostion is very respectful, sincere and courteous?



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

(NO POLITICS PLEASE!!!)

So we were having a discussion at work about the hearings and "boys will be boys" and "no means no" and the issues of consent etc etc, and of course the ramifications of inappropriate conduct coming back 30 years later etc etc

And at one point some of the guys expressed dismay that at any point during a man's lifetime an offer or attempt or a sexual proposition could come back and ruin his career, his marriage, his standing in the community etc etc

So I just have to throw this out there and ask the ladies of TAM a question that has been on my mind since - if a man makes a sincere, respectful and courteous sexual offer or proposition, are you ever or have you ever been actually offended or had your feelings hurt over that?

I am not talking about getting heavy-handed or pressuring after being told no and I am certainly not talking about anything even remotely resembling molestation or assault.

I am talking about an offer that is heartfelt, respectful and non threatening and I am assuming that if/when the answer was no, that it was accepted graciously and without repercussion or bitterness. 

Are respectful and sincere offers at risk of hurting your feelings or offending you if the answer is no?

What if it is not exactly what society would consider an "appropriate" such as if it was someone you had just met or was someone that was married or knowing that you were married etc?


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Depends if the guy making an offer is ugly or not 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

oldshirt said:


> So I just have to throw this out there and ask the ladies of TAM a question that has been on my mind since - if a man makes a sincere, respectful and courteous sexual offer or proposition, are you ever or have you ever been actually offended or had your feelings hurt over that?


Nope.


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> if a man makes a sincere, respectful and courteous sexual offer or proposition, are you ever or have you ever been actually offended or had your feelings hurt over that?
> 
> . . . .
> 
> ...


Just so I understand. Are we talking about a booty call here? If so, the only way I would be offended is if one or both parties were not single. Then I would be highly offended and most likely tell their wife/gf what a douche they're married to. A new person? Not offensive. At all. I'd probably walk a little bit taller that day.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think the situation is important. If there is a significant power imbalance (say a Boss and their direct report), *extreme* care needs to be taken. I think in a situation like that, any romantic interaction needs to be initiated by the person in the lower power position in order to avoid any misinterpretation of pressure.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

inmyprime said:


> Depends if the guy making an offer is ugly or not
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


That is a question for the ladies on how much the actual league and attractiveness of the guy matters in relation to them taking actual offense or hurt feelings. 

An ugly guy is certainly more likely to be turned down, but whether someone takes offense by his asking is another matter. 

IMHO guys approaching women clearly out of their league are more likely to use cheesy pick up lines and generally make crude or outrageous overtures than a confident man close to her own league. 

My question in this is not about what offers a woman will accept, but whether sincere, courteous and respectful offers ever result in actual offense, anger, hurt feelings etc etc.

Even an ugly man is capable of being respectful and courteous and taking a rejection graciously.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

lucy999 said:


> Just so I understand. Are we talking about a booty call here?


Maybe and maybe not. 

I am talking about an offer/proposition for some kind of sexual encounter or relationship. 

If you want to label it a booty call, you can. Or you can call it what you want. 

Either way, I do mean more than a simple coffee date to get acquainted if you know what I mean.


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> Maybe and maybe not.
> 
> I am talking about an offer/proposition for some kind of sexual encounter or relationship.
> 
> ...


My answer remains unchanged. :smile2:


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

minimalME said:


> Nope.


I'll add to this by saying, an offer on an individual level has never hurt my feelings.

But since this is what 'dating' has become - quick offers for sex - in general I find it to be dehumanizing, so I've opted out.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

uhtred said:


> I think the situation is important. If there is a significant power imbalance (say a Boss and their direct report), *extreme* care needs to be taken. I think in a situation like that, any romantic interaction needs to be initiated by the person in the lower power position in order to avoid any misinterpretation of pressure.


This is a great point.

In general, assuming the power between the two is balanced I feel that men are free to make any kind of proposition they want, as long as they're fully prepared to be turned down. No bullying, no intimidating, just an offer.

I've had this done to me, and I'll just reference one example where the guy asked if I was interested in such an arrangement. I said no and he said ok.

End if story.

But other women might feel differently.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

oldshirt said:


> (NO POLITICS PLEASE!!!)
> 
> So we were having a discussion at work about the hearings and "boys will be boys" and "no means no" and the issues of consent etc etc, and of course the ramifications of inappropriate conduct coming back 30 years later etc etc
> 
> ...


No problem with that at all. As long as the guy gracefully takes no for an answer, if that's my response, then there is no harm in a proposition. I've had plenty of men make respectful propositions. Just give a polite no if I'm not interested. No big deal.



oldshirt said:


> What if it is not exactly what society would consider an "appropriate" such as if it was someone you had just met or was someone that was married or knowing that you were married etc?


I've handled them all the same. And yea a married man who propositions a woman other than his wife is a pathetic slime ball.


----------



## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Nope, no problem at all.

Unless, I know the guy is married ... in which case I'd tell him to go home to his wife.

Or, the ask is in the course of working together professionally ... in which case I'd tell him to take that **** to the bar down the street.

And, handsomeness or attraction (on my part) is irrelevant because personally I don't do hookups (it's potentially unsafe).


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> That is a question for the ladies on how much the actual league and attractiveness of the guy matters in relation to them taking actual offense or hurt feelings.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Can you elaborate what you mean by a ‘respectful and courteous offer’, like put it in a dialogue, say woman walking down the street:

Man: I noticed your beautiful legs from a distance. May I offer respectfully and courteously to bend you over and **** you?

Or did you have something else in mind?

I’m interested more in how such an offer to **** them would come out in practice, as respectful and courteous in their eyes.

I personally think that every woman knows that every man wants to **** them sooner rather than later so you are saying why dance around the stick and not just come out with it straight away (and why would women be offended since this is the dance that often leads the same way?).

I think the dance is the fun part and been played like this for centuries and there’s a reason people still do it (for example to find out more about each other). I don’t know. Am I looking too deeply into it? 

Most women (who are not looking to **** or at least not straight away) will be offended because they don’t want to be bothered plus they need to protect themselves from creeps; plus you can’t trust what comes out of a creep’s mouth; just because the guy uses the word ‘respectful’ doesn’t mean he will not treat the woman like trash as soon as he had his orgasm.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> Maybe and maybe not.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Wouldn’t anyone using tinder or any dating site be offended then? I think if you put yourself in certain situations, you have to take the consequences. Someone propositioned to **** walking to work to provide for their family would be offended to be bothered with non sense like this while someone swiping left and right on tinder probably wouldn’t. 
Single women on here probably wouldn’t get offended; married women or women who are just looking for relationship advice probably would. 
I’m not a woman but find it a slightly creepy question. It implies there’s something noble about a man propositioning a woman a good and respectful **** (as long as it is proposed in a ‘respectful manner’ - don’t know how you’d do that to someone you don’t know. It’s difficult enough doing it to someone you already know too well....). It’s just words.

In my world, this is the situation:

Me to the wife: I have been waiting all day long to rip your clothes off and to, respectfully, **** you over the kitchen counter.

Her: Are you out of your mind? I prepare kids’ food in this kitchen and still smell of baby sick and all you can think of is ****ing me as if I’m some dirty *****?

Me: yes.

5 minutes later, her: **** me harder, like a dirty, filthy *****!!

Go figure. Like i said, it’s just words. It’s ****ing confusing for a man when actions don’t match words. The reality will be different from any answers you may get....Btw a woman can be both offended and turned on at the same time it seems. But it is a really bad idea taking it for granted with women one doesn’t know.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

My answer depends on how well I know the person propositioning. 

I wouldn't take offense either way but would find it pathetic coming from someone I do not know.... And more importantly, doesn't really know me. 



Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


----------



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

It depends entirely on the context. If I were to meet someone on a date and he propositioned me, I would accept or decline but I wouldn't be offended. 

If I were standing in a store and some guy I didn't know from a bar of soap came up to me and asked if I wanted to have sex with him, I'd be annoyed because it would just be inappropriate.

I have had an experience with a guy who ended up in my house because my flat mate dropped him there for him to call a taxi back to his place and then took off and left me there alone with him. I was sitting with him in the lounge room waiting for the taxi he'd called and he asked me for sex. I was a bit surprised but just said no. He pushed with comments like, "just go with the flow" and "why not, it's just sex" blah blah. I just said I wasn't interested and no each time and eventually his taxi arrived, thankfully, and I could go about my day without an annoying little turd bugging me for sex. I wasn't offended by his request, but I had zero respect for him.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> I've handled them all the same. And yea a married man who propositions a woman other than his wife is a pathetic slime ball.


You may think he is a slime ball as far as your opinion of him as a person. 

But are you offended, angered or are your feelings hurt by him making you the offer?


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> You may think he is a slime ball as far as your opinion of him as a person.
> 
> But are you offended, angered or are your feelings hurt by him making you the offer?


Quite possibly all three.


----------



## PreRaph (Jun 13, 2017)

Your question is too broad OP. Unless the man is devilishly handsome and charming, I think most women wouldn't appreciate being propositioned by a stranger (here's to you @inmyprime!)

But let's say you're out with friends, there's a guy there that is part of the group that you just met and you've been talking to for a bit, and after a while, or maybe the next time you all go out, he asks whether you'd like to go to his place? I bet most women would say no. Now say he accepts the no, but later on, maybe a few outings later, he asks you whether you've changed your mind? is that going too far? And let's assume he's not ugly 

Because, you know, no doesn't always mean no --no ifs and or buts-- or it means no with qualifications...

Now if it were me, I'd probably not ask her again. I'm just not that much of a player, but I know some men who are, and enough women enjoy it as well because, after all, it's a game, and it is flattering, right?


----------



## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

I've been propositioned by random strangers more times than I could count, and I have never been hurt or offended. Except if they were especially rude or offensive in their approach.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

I guess the next level for the question will be: would you be offended if a man takes out his Dshonson while propositioning sex? I mean he's trying to be transparent: wouldn't a woman want to see what exactly it is she might be getting into? (onto) before saying yes or no  Wouldn't it be considered, considerate?


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

PreRaph said:


> Your question is too broad OP. Unless the man is devilishly handsome and charming, I think most women wouldn't appreciate being propositioned by a stranger (here's to you @inmyprime!)


Yes, I believe it is commonly referred to in the connoisseur circles as "not fugly"


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

If someone I was on a date with or someone I casually knew respectfully asked if I would be interested in sex and I was single, I'd turn them down, but I wouldn't be offended. If they knew I was married and propositioned me I would probably be rude when I turned them down because I'M MARRIED.

If a stranger just came up to me, I'd be irritated. Because if you are emotionally intelligent, you don't go up to a random stranger and ask to have sex. It's just weird - yeah, it is. I'm not saying my moral sensibilities would be offended or I'd be affronted as a woman or anything. But as a normal, socially aware human, I'd roll my eyes.

Now, if he took out his package, I'd probably call the police. I'm pretty sure just about every state has laws about that lol


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> Now, if he took out his package, I'd probably call the police. I'm pretty sure just about every state has laws about that lol


But what if it was such an awesome package, that it would just be completely impossible for a woman to resist? It does happen apparently....I have seen documentaries about this.:scratchhead:


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> But what if it was such an awesome package, that it would just be completely impossible for a woman to resist? It does happen apparently....I have seen documentaries about this.:scratchhead:


In that case, the man would be my husband, and I can proposition him anytime I want


----------



## PreRaph (Jun 13, 2017)

inmyprime said:


> But what if it was such an awesome package, that it would just be completely impossible for a woman to resist? It does happen apparently....I have seen documentaries about this.:scratchhead:


I knew it, I knew it all the time! It does matter, more than anything else!!! :grin2:

"In that case, the man would be my husband, and I can proposition him anytime I want."

Haha!


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

PreRaph said:


> I knew it, I knew it all the time! It does matter, more than anything else!!! :grin2:
> 
> "In that case, the man would be my husband, and I can proposition him anytime I want."
> 
> Haha!


I was being disgustingly cheesy and mushy. But now that you mention it, he IS rather impressive


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> I was being disgustingly cheesy and mushy. But now that you mention it, he IS rather impressive




Pictures otherwise we know ur making it up (joking!)

The statistics I have seen show that 95% of women find nude men’s private parts not very appealing. But then 50% of statistics are wrong...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

For me it has to do with the man who owns them.

But anyway, back to the OP question....

If you are going up to women you don't know and requesting sex, no matter how polite, 99% of them are going to think you are a creepy weirdo, no matter how cute you are.

It's just weird.


----------



## PreRaph (Jun 13, 2017)

inmyprime said:


> Pictures otherwise we know ur making it up (joking!)
> 
> The statistics I have seen show that 95% of women find nude men’s private parts not very appealing. But then 50% of statistics are wrong...
> 
> ...


Nope, no joking. Pictures or it's faux news. We wanna see the second coming (no pun intended) of Iggy Pop, or Brett Favre...or ...


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> For me it has to do with the man who owns them.



I think that’s a difference between men and women...Men can just look at lady bits and find them appealing (hence porn), regardless who owns them. I don’t know any women who enjoy browsing through pictures of   to pass time. I have heard there are some (librarians mostly, cataloguing poultry etc) but I think those are the exception. 




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> I think that’s a difference between men and women...Men can just look at lady bits and find them appealing (hence porn), regardless who owns them. I don’t know any women who enjoy browsing through pictures of   to pass time. I have heard there are some (librarians mostly) but I think those are the exception.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You mean this lady?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

oldshirt said:


> You may think he is a slime ball as far as your opinion of him as a person.
> 
> But are you offended, angered or are your feelings hurt by him making you the offer?


No. Anger is a very negative emotion that hurts the person feeling it. Why would I allow a slime ball to take me to that place? He's not worth the emotional energy.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> You mean this lady?




Yes, I am fairly certain she has seen a fair amount of poultry   in her line of work. You can see by the way she folds her lips.. 
now that the cold season has started, one has to be very careful around all these coughing librarians giving invisible BJs to everyone...So I would steer clear of libraries till about April. 











Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

inmyprime said:


> But what if it was such an awesome package, that it would just be completely impossible for a woman to resist? It does happen apparently....I have seen documentaries about this.:scratchhead:


Actually there is no package that is so awesome that it is impossible for women to resist. They are all pretty much the same.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

inmyprime said:


> I think that’s a difference between men and women...Men can just look at lady bits and find them appealing (hence porn), regardless who owns them. I don’t know any women who enjoy browsing through pictures of   to pass time. I have heard there are some (librarians mostly, cataloguing poultry etc) but I think those are the exception.


Oh, photos of really good looking men naked are great to look at. But just because they are great to look at does not mean that I, or most women, are just ready to jump on that. There has to be more than good looks. And it takes time get to know if there is actually more to the man than good looks.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Actually there is no package that is so awesome that it is impossible for women to resist. They are all pretty much the same.



That’s what I thought. 
But I read a story once (an internet article) where a woman was describing in graphic detail how she found herself completely mesmerised and captivated by her boyfriend’s friends’ bulging package when she saw him in boxer shorts accidentally. She asked her boyfriend’s permission if she could touch it once when they were all sitting down together (who reluctantly agreed) and from then onwards she felt the only way for it to go was in her mouth. She had absolutely no control over it; it was like his massive had this irresistible gravity with her mouth that she just couldn’t stop herself...

It sounded like a very persuasive and plausible piece of literature when I read it. I sent it on to my wife to find out if she ever felt this way about a package, ever, and just got a very significant eye roll. So she must have identified with this too I guess.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

inmyprime said:


> She asked her boyfriend’s permission if she could touch it once when they were all sitting down together (who reluctantly agreed) and from then onwards she felt the only way for it to go was in her mouth. *She had absolutely no control over i*t; it was like his massive had this irresistible gravity with her mouth that *she just couldn’t stop herself*...


Nonsense.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Oh, photos of really good looking men naked are great to look at. But just because they are great to look at does not mean that I, or most women, are just ready to jump on that. There has to be more than good looks. And it takes time get to know if there is actually more to the man than good looks.



Ah ok. So why is it offensive if a guy takes out his package to get some female advice if it’s a good one or if he should still keep working on it? 
Why are pictures of random guys on internet (and their packages) less repulsive than a real life guy? 
Maybe it’s all these weird men in long coats 🧥 in the parks late at night want: to get some kind of approval. Just guessing.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

inmyprime said:


> That’s what I thought.
> But I read a story once (an internet article) where a woman was describing in graphic detail how she found herself completely mesmerised and captivated by her boyfriend’s friends’ bulging package when she saw him in boxer shorts accidentally. She asked her boyfriend’s permission if she could touch it once when they were all sitting down together (who reluctantly agreed) and from then onwards she felt the only way for it to go was in her mouth. She had absolutely no control over it; it was like his massive had this irresistible gravity with her mouth that she just couldn’t stop herself...
> 
> It sounded like a very persuasive and plausible piece of literature when I read it. I sent it on to my wife to find out if she ever felt this way about a package, ever, and just got a very significant eye roll. So she must have identified with this too I guess.


OK, we all know that articles on the internet are the source of all truths. >

What you talk about here is a woman's response to HER BOYFRIEND's package. That's a very different thing than some guy she has no relationship with exposing his package.


----------



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

oldshirt said:


> ... if a man makes a sincere, respectful and courteous sexual offer or proposition, are you ever or have you ever been actually offended or had your feelings hurt over that?
> 
> Are respectful and sincere offers at risk of hurting your feelings or offending you if the answer is no?
> 
> What if it is not exactly what society would consider an "appropriate" such as if it was someone you had just met or was someone that was married or knowing that you were married etc?


If a man makes a sincere, respectful and courteous sexual offer, I am not offended and my feelings are not hurt. If it's a booty call kind of offer, I think of it like the guy cut through the :bsflag: and was honest, and even if my answer were to be "no thank you" I don't mind the question. 

As far as appropriate goes--shoot anyone can ask anything at any time! I would just automatically say no to a one-night stand, FWB/booty call, or any kind of committed person (honestly I think if you're exclusively dating something you don't sleep with others--ring or no ring  ). However, that is my humble opinion and others are free to differ AND ASK. I'm just saying that my answer would be "no thank you."


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

inmyprime said:


> Ah ok. So why is it offensive if a guy takes out his package to get some female advice if it’s a good one or if he should still keep working on it?
> 
> Why are pictures of random guys on internet (and their packages) less repulsive than a real life guy?
> 
> Maybe it’s all these weird men in long coats 🧥 in the parks late at night want: to get some kind of approval. Just guessing.


Photos of naked guy, and even sexy videos are less disgusting because they are not personal and it's not some guy accosting me. 

As someone who has been followed by flashers, the premise of his post is not funny or cute. Men who expose themselves do it to scare women. They want to see the reaction, the fear in their eyes. The fear that at any moment he might just decide to rape them. As a high school girl, I had a guy follow me for about a mile across a mesa while I was walking to school. He had his **** out and was playing with himself and saying some very filthy things to me. No matter that I did, I was in an area where it was about a mile in every direction to get away from him to a populated area. 

And that was only one time when a guy did this sort of thing around me.

Your post is discussing and unacceptable.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> OK, we all know that articles on the internet are the source of all truths. >
> 
> 
> 
> What you talk about here is a woman's response to HER BOYFRIEND's package. That's a very different thing than some guy she has no relationship with exposing his package.




No no, the whole point (and what made me a bit uneasy) is that the girl’s response was to her boyfriend’s best friend’s package. Not her boyfriend’s package! I have not realised that packages can have such magnificent powers. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

inmyprime said:


> But what if it was such an awesome package, that it would just be completely impossible for a woman to resist? It does happen apparently....I have seen documentaries about this.:scratchhead:


If these "documentaries" you speak of are what you see in porn sites, then that may lead one to believe such.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Photos of naked guy, and even sexy videos are less disgusting because they are not personal and it's not some guy accosting me.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Sorry, I was wondering at what point it was going to go too far...

Sorry it has happened to you. It seems a lot of bad things happened to you.

Unfortunately i don’t always know what my audience is...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

inmyprime said:


> Sorry, I was wondering at what point it was going to go too far...
> 
> Sorry it has happened to you. It seems a lot of bad things happened to you.
> 
> Unfortunately i don’t always know what my audience is...


This thread is about a very simple question. And you are taking to a very pervi place.

You'd probably be surprised at how many women have had a lot of bad things happen to them. Most never talk about it. It's just what it's like living on this crazy planet with other humans, many of whom are very damaged.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Actually I have also been flashed once. A guy sitting opposite of me just took it out and started masturbating. I shrugged my shoulders and change seats. My first thought was not fear (it was a public place) but I thought to myself I should probably give this guy some privacy as he must be desperate to rub one out in the middle of a bus stop. I don’t think he was trying to scare me (mine is bigger anyway ).

But I appreciate a woman’s reaction may be totally different (for understandable reasons).

So I presume the main difference between browsing internet guys and seeing someone on the street must be feeling of safety and knowing that you won’t be intimidated or harassed and can always just close the webpage if it’s too much.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

This has to be situation dependent. There are places where politely asking someone for sex is OK (some clubs, bars etc.) and places where it is completely inappropriate. 

Usually though I think it is something that should come up after you are already having a conversation and where both people can drift the conversation in that direction if they want to.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

inmyprime said:


> Actually I have also been flashed once. A guy sitting opposite of me just took it out and started masturbating. I shrugged my shoulders and change seats. My first thought was not fear (it was a public place) but I thought to myself I should probably give this guy some privacy as he must be desperate to rub one out in the middle of a bus stop. I don’t think he was trying to scare me (mine is bigger anyway ).
> 
> But I appreciate a woman’s reaction may be totally different (for understandable reasons).
> 
> So I presume the main difference between browsing internet guys and seeing someone on the street must be feeling of safety and knowing that you won’t be intimidated or harassed and can always just close the webpage if it’s too much.


A major difference between what you saw and a lot of the times when this happens is that the perp walks up to the person they are exposing themselves to and then exposes themselves. Or they follow the women doing it, often saying crude things. They are going after the woman.

I still have no idea what this all has to do with the topic of this thread. This thread is about polite, respectful propositions.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> This thread is about a very simple question. And you are taking to a very pervi place.
> 
> You'd probably be surprised at how many women have had a lot of bad things happen to them. Most never talk about it. It's just what it's like living on this crazy planet with other humans, many of whom are very damaged.



It’s just banter, Elegirl, it’s no more pervi than the premise of the original question. I thought we all know each other here by now (as much as one can know each other anonymously). But I will shut up!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> This thread is about polite, respectful propositions.



That’s an oxymoron. Proposing sex to a woman you don’t know or barely know is not much different than what you described creeps do in parks (it is not as bad yes but basically very similar). Just because someone used the word ‘respectful’ doesn’t negate the fact that it’s a very creepy thing to do.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

It's interesting to me as to how Hollywood has made sexual banter from men seem like an ok thing even in more modern times. I've been watching the first couple of seasons recently, and I noticed the comments and such from DiNozzo toward Caitlin Todd. It's packed with sexual comments. It's made to seem like it annoys her at times, but it's all just playful. Heck, he'd be fired after the first day in reality. Same thing with The Ranch on Netflix. Those two guys are just full of sexual comments for ladies. I wonder if that kind of thing is going to be completely cut out in movies and tv shows given how things have changed.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

PreRaph said:


> Nope, no joking. Pictures or it's faux news. We wanna see the second coming (no pun intended) of Iggy Pop, or Brett Favre...or ...


Is this post asking for a **** pic? Because I'm not above such things... Just sayin. I know for a fact there's a picture of my bare naked ass floating around on the interwebs. 

This question is a little weird because outside of trying to be comedic, I wouldn't ask a girl just to bang me. I'm a poker player. You don't move all in unless you have the nuts.

Now I do say very sexually charged jokes to pretty much every woman I know who isn't family. But they know that's just TheDude being TheDude and dont take offense.


----------



## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

oldshirt said:


> (NO POLITICS PLEASE!!!)
> What if it is not exactly what society would consider an "appropriate" such as if it was someone you had just met or was someone that was married or knowing that you were married etc?


I would say no, absolutely not, up to this point here. If someone is married or I am and they know it - that's offensive. Not in a traumatizing way where I'm going to need a shower and a therapist, just in an eye-rolling, what a jerk, way.

I was thinking about this today too with all the talk of groping and I was thinking ... but if a guy never gropes, how would babies get made? I don't mean it's okay to walk up and grope a woman, but let's say you're on a date and things are going well, and the guy kisses the woman, and she responds positively to that ... isn't the next step to see if he can take his hand and put it some place, er, inappropriate? I've never in my life been in a relationship that started with a man politely asking permission to touch my breast... My OBGYN notifies me of what's about to happen, but the men I've known certainly didn't. Oh wait, there was that one who looked at me and said "I'm going to have you some day." That was pretty hot...


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

WorkingWife said:


> I was thinking about this today too with all the talk of groping and I was thinking ... but if a guy never gropes, how would babies get made? I don't mean it's okay to walk up and grope a woman, but let's say you're on a date and things are going well, and the guy kisses the woman, and she responds positively to that ... isn't the next step to see if he can take his hand and put it some place, er, inappropriate? I've never in my life been in a relationship that started with a man politely asking permission to touch my breast... My OBGYN notifies me of what's about to happen, but the men I've known certainly didn't. Oh wait, there was that one who looked at me and said "I'm going to have you some day." That was pretty hot...


Yeah, we do have to keep in mind there are two types of men in the world - Those that approach and proposition women in one fashion or another. 

- and virgins. 


Men are going to hit on women and women are going to be hit on. Otherwise the human race is extinct in about 100 years. 

Things like pressure, unwelcome and nonconsensual contact, molestation, assault, rape etc are clearly unacceptable. But without taking some initiative and moving things forward, we die out as a species in one generation.


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

A man who does not know the difference between a typical dating type proposition and walking up to a stranger and asking for sex is a sad laughable man indeed.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I really hope inmyprime wasn't banned because of his participation in this thread. He was taking the question in this thread to a point of absurdity to illustrate how absurd he, I and others think about the question.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

If it is respectful, non pressuring as you say then that would be fine, provided I am not married. However, if he knows I am married that is another story.
I think the problem arises when there is a difference in power. e.g. a boss versus an younger employee, etc. 
Nowadays the old ways of bawdy innuendo are no longer acceptable because women are no longer required to put up with it, nor unwanted advances.


----------



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

inmyprime said:


> Actually I have also been flashed once. A guy sitting opposite of me just took it out and started masturbating. I shrugged my shoulders and change seats. My first thought was not fear (it was a public place) but I thought to myself I should probably give this guy some privacy as he must be desperate to rub one out in the middle of a bus stop. I don’t think he was trying to scare me (mine is bigger anyway ).
> 
> But I appreciate a woman’s reaction may be totally different (for understandable reasons).
> 
> ...


I know a woman who was at work, driving a vehicle, the male passenger (co-worker), pulled it out and started masturbating. It was extremely bad for her, because it's confronting, and he was forcing her to witness a sexual act. It is sexual in the 'bedroom' when you watch someone masturbate, so doing it in front of someone without their consent (with intent) is sexual assault imo.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

inmyprime said:


> That’s an oxymoron. Proposing sex to a woman you don’t know or barely know is not much different than what you described creeps do in parks (it is not as bad yes but basically very similar). Just because someone used the word ‘respectful’ doesn’t negate the fact that it’s a very creepy thing to do.


I thought the same thing - it's an oxymoron! LOL.


*Unless* it's a very handsome Robert Redford playing a game of pool with my husband and offering him one million dollars to spend the night with me. I'd have my lingerie bag already packed before my hubby could even give him an answer.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> *Unless* it's a very handsome Robert Redford playing a game of pool with my husband and offering him one million dollars to spend the night with me. I'd have my lingerie bag already packed before my hubby could even give him an answer.



You are a keeper 

I wonder how much Robert Redford would charge me, to sleep with my wife...I would pay at least a fiver. Mind you she’s waay hotter than Demi Bore.

(Is this too triggery? Have people also been (in)decently proposed recently? In which case I’m happy to remove jokes, past and future).



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

inmyprime said:


> You are a keeper


Admittedly, I wouldn't be doing it to please my husband by earning that million dollars.

I would have happily done it for $10.99 simply because the man is (was) beautiful. :grin2:


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Admittedly, I wouldn't be doing it to please my husband by earning that million dollars.
> 
> I would have happily done it for $10.99 simply because the man is (was) beautiful. :grin2:




I think that’s a fair price  

Do you take cheque or cash? (See? That’s how you proposition. Joking 

In his younger years, even I probably would gladly spend the night with him.

I always had this fantasy...I always wanted a strong and confident man to read me a story book while I fall asleep in his strong, protective arms  

Never had this with my dad 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

inmyprime said:


> Actually I have also been flashed once. A guy sitting opposite of me just took it out and started masturbating. I shrugged my shoulders and change seats. My first thought was not fear (it was a public place) but I thought to myself I should probably give this guy some privacy as he must be desperate to rub one out in the middle of a bus stop. I don’t think he was trying to scare me (mine is bigger anyway ).
> 
> But I appreciate a woman’s reaction may be totally different (for understandable reasons).
> 
> ...


I would have stomped on his junk.......


----------



## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

Generically speaking......I read somewhere once that 80% of the time you get what what you want by just asking for it......and you get it 0% of the time if you don't ask.......


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Betrayedone said:


> I would have stomped on his junk.......


I didn't really feel like touching it at that moment...I think generally, in those situations, the less reaction you show the better/safer.


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Betrayedone said:


> I would have stomped on his junk.......


Maybe it was too small.....


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Betrayedone said:


> Generically speaking......I read somewhere once that 80% of the time you get what what you want by just asking for it......and you get it 0% of the time if you don't ask.......


But those 20% could kill you...if you ask the wrong question at the wrong time :surprise:


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

inmyprime said:


> But those 20% could kill you...if you ask the wrong question at the wrong time :surprise:


_*sharpens scythe*_


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I'm wondering how non-plussed women would be if the man very respectfully, sincerely and courteously asked them to hand over their cash, ID, credit cards and car keys.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> I'm wondering how non-plussed women would be if the man very respectfully, sincerely and courteously asked them to hand over their cash, ID, credit cards and car keys.



Hey - that happened to me! What an inappropriate comment for this thread! You’re banned! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------

