# Levels of being happy and comfotable



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

There are some people who strive to be filthy rich and are killing themselves to do so, and there are others that are content with a very modest and very simple living situation and do not need all of the fancy frills. I am kind of in the middle where I just want to be fairly comfortable the rest of my life, and having a mansion and fancy cars would be nice but it's not something I'm gonna kill myself for. So here's what I strive for and are very grateful that I can maintain:

- a decent house in a middle class neighborhood.

- a pantry that is not empty and has plenty of food for the week.

- a newer(or new)modest car or truck in the driveway(doesn't have to be some Mercedes or Jaguar or a $40,000 truck).

- nice clean clothes & shoes that aren't falling apart(I shop places like Bealls outlet, Kohls, and JC Penneys for stuff like that).

- able to pay all of my bills with some money left over.

- can take one nice vacation per year.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Cee Paul said:


> There are some people who strive to be filthy rich and are killing themselves to do so, and there are others that are content with a very modest and very simple living situation and do not need all of the fancy frills. I am kind of in the middle where I just want to be fairly comfortable the rest of my life, and having a mansion and fancy cars would be nice but it's not something I'm gonna kill myself for. So here's what I strive for and are very grateful that I can maintain:
> 
> - a decent house in a middle class neighborhood.
> 
> ...


I'm with you; once one has the things you mentioned with comfort, I don't have much motivation to kill myself to make money. I guess my idea of success is not having to work all the time and being stressed out over money and payments. 

Due to my divorce, I now live in an old farm house that wouldn't impress anybody. I'm sure most people would have put a lot of money in it and fixed it up, but it basically has everything I need, so why fool with it. I can just keep that money in the bank along with piece of mind. I realize it's not much of a woman magnet. I'm sure I'd have to have 911 on speed dial if I ever brought a date here, but it suits me fine. :rofl:


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

I had this conversation before in another thread about how my wife wants more - more - more and sets her goals pretty high, whereas I feel if you get to a place of comfort like I described above it's quite ok to just plant your roots right there and enjoy the rest of your life from that view.


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

For me, as long as the bank account is in the positive, we are healthy, have food, and the car is running good then I'm happy.

My other half, is basically the same but she does want a new car and laptop. To be fair, her car is 10 years old and her laptop is about 5-6 years old too. So I can't really blame her for wanting upgrades.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

captainstormy said:


> For me, as long as the bank account is in the positive, we are healthy, have food, and the car is running good then I'm happy.
> 
> My other half, is basically the same but she does want a new car and laptop. To be fair, her car is 10 years old and her laptop is about 5-6 years old too. So I can't really blame her for wanting upgrades.


Well we have a pretty nice house with a lake view, two newer cars in the driveway(a 2010 & 2012), a full pantry and fridge, new or newer clothes and shoes, the bills are all paid on time, some money in savings, and we take a nice vacation every year. Now if all that sounds pretty damn good -----> to me it IS, but my wife acts as if she is never ever satisfied and that we have to work even harder to get more and this is the problem.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Cee Paul said:


> Well we have a pretty nice house with a lake view, two newer cars in the driveway(a 2010 & 2012), a full pantry and fridge, new or newer clothes and shoes, the bills are all paid on time, some money in savings, and we take a nice vacation every year. Now if all that sounds pretty damn good -----> to me it IS, but my wife acts as if she is never ever satisfied and that we have to work even harder to get more and this is the problem.


Your wife is spoiled and ungrateful.

I would KILL to have a husband who could provide a home!!  My husband is the only one in our circle who cannot do so, due the recession taking our jobs for a long time and burying us in debt. We will never own and I have a hard time coming to terms with that; because people look down on renters and I view home ownership as a measure of success. 

Ask your wife if she would like to be the only one in her family and group of friends to live in an apartment. Our apartment is spacious and very nicely decorated, but it is not ours. 

Yes, we have a new car (2012) with paid bills, gourmet food and minibreaks at least twice a year. A home would make our lives complete. Sometimes I wish I was more materialistic when I got married like all the other women I know; they would not have married their husbands if they had to live in apartments forever.


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## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

From the opposite perspective, I can say that, although my wife and I have acheived much in terms of good financial fortune through hard work and talent, if we had a reversal of fortune I think we would be perfectly happy trading down from what we have to the items on your list, Cee. It's nice to drive a new Lexus, but I would be perfectly happy with a 5 year old Camry if that is what I could afford.

A good and satisfying life is not about stuff. I could be happy in a double-wide trailer if there were nice people living around me, and I had a TV, computer with internet, a library card, health care and food in the pantry. The important thing really is to be thankful for and appreciate that which we do have. Otherwise, even a multimillionare can not be satisfied unless he has private jet...and then not satisfied because his neighbor has a bigger jet or a private island retreat...when does it stop?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I do agree with firstyear.. a home that's yours... and not rented... is definitely something I would be grateful for... be it a trailer or house... if you own it ... then at least you can do things like paint, decorate, ect ... (I'm going through the.. I want to own a home instead of rent phase... lol)


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

This is a common issue with many people. It's never enough for them. No matter what they will never be satisfied.

Now me I'm a simple gal. Take care of my 4 walls and add in a few small luxuries and I'm good. I'm aware money doesn't equal happiness. I've been miserable with money and without. The common denominator in my unhappiness was ME not 'stuff' or money.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

For the record I have been on both sides of it where at one point in my life it was - driving a 10 year old car, living in a small one bedroom apartment with really noisy neighbors, eating baloney sandwiches & spaghetti-o's all week long, and living paycheck to paycheck with no breathing room. And I have seen the middle to upper class sides of it all too over the past 9-10 years; and all I can tell you is there are good times AND bad times involved with both situations.

And yes FirstYearDown my wife is a little spoiled and was before I met her, but she does have a very giving and caring heart and always gives back and does a ton of things for charity as a way of giving thanks.


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## J.R.Jefferis (Jun 27, 2012)

I think Mavash makes a good point. While we cannot ignore the fact that we live in a material world and have to meet certain basic material necessities in order to live healthy, fulfilling lives, we should not allow these things to ultimately dictate whether we are happy or not. There is an old proverb that says: "Should prosperity befall thee, rejoice not, and should abasement come upon thee, grieve not, for both shall pass away and be no more." In other words, money and material possessions/status are extremely transient. They can come and go with the blink of an eye and many times this is out of our control. So why bother worrying incessantly about it? Why do we let this consume us and determine our level of happiness? The experiences I have had in my life have taught me that true happiness should not depend on superficial things that can, in one fell swoop, be taken away from you. Rather, it seems it should depend on the more profound aspects of our existence: the content of our character, the love in our family, service to our fellow human beings.

I know I sound all preachy and for that I apologize. But I feel I have gone through so much in my life in this regard, just like many of you, that has taught me the need to rise above certain concerns that, at the end of the day and in the grand scheme of life, are quite superficial. For anyone having trouble understanding this, I highly recommend travelling to places that may be out of your comfort zone, such as a Third World country. When you see how simple so many other people's lives are (and I am talking millions and millions of the world's population) compared to our lives in which, for some reason, cars, iPhones, flat-screen TVs, and nice big houses have all become "necessities", it really helps us do a reality check and begin to be at least somewhat grateful for what we DO have.

Again, sorry to be preachy. I really don't mean to come across like that. I guess this is just a subject I am quite passionate about. For what it's worth, I hope this was helpful. 

God bless,
JR


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

J.R.Jefferis said:


> I think Mavash makes a good point. While we cannot ignore the fact that we live in a material world and have to meet certain basic material necessities in order to live healthy, fulfilling lives, we should not allow these things to ultimately dictate whether we are happy or not. There is an old proverb that says: "Should prosperity befall thee, rejoice not, and should abasement come upon thee, grieve not, for both shall pass away and be no more." In other words, money and material possessions/status are extremely transient. They can come and go with the blink of an eye and many times this is out of our control. So why bother worrying incessantly about it? Why do we let this consume us and determine our level of happiness? The experiences I have had in my life have taught me that true happiness should not depend on superficial things that can, in one fell swoop, be taken away from you. Rather, it seems it should depend on the more profound aspects of our existence: the content of our character, the love in our family, service to our fellow human beings.
> 
> I know I sound all preachy and for that I apologize. But I feel I have gone through so much in my life in this regard, just like many of you, that has taught me the need to rise above certain concerns that, at the end of the day and in the grand scheme of life, are quite superficial. For anyone having trouble understanding this, I highly recommend travelling to places that may be out of your comfort zone, such as a Third World country. When you see how simple so many other people's lives are (and I am talking millions and millions of the world's population) compared to our lives in which, for some reason, cars, iPhones, flat-screen TVs, and nice big houses have all become "necessities", it really helps us do a reality check and begin to be at least somewhat grateful for what we DO have.
> 
> ...


I've had several people in my life time from other countries like Dominican Republic, Haiti, etc. that moved here and told me - "you all have no idea in this country what being poor REALLY is".


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I like Thoreau's quote, "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone."

After awhile, things start to own you. Too much to maintain, too many worries, a never ending cycle of wanting, wanting, wanting. Never being satisfied is exhausting.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> I like Thoreau's quote, "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone."
> 
> After awhile, things start to own you. Too much to maintain, too many worries, a never ending cycle of wanting, wanting, wanting. Never being satisfied is exhausting.


Thoreau came from money having been born into the family that invented the graphite pencil.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

BTW you've never met a poor Marxist. There's no such thing.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Thoreau came from money having been born into the family that invented the graphite pencil.


But he was not caught up in the business, obsessed with making more money with it.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

I'm the type that could be happy and find a way to entertain myself sitting by the pool in a nice house with nice things, or broke and sitting on a wooden crate living in someone's garage.


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## J.R.Jefferis (Jun 27, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> I'm the type that could be happy and find a way to entertain myself sitting by the pool in a nice house with nice things, or broke and sitting on a wooden crate living in someone's garage.


And that's the whole point, be happy with what you have no matter how much or how little. Either way, it isn't going to stay with us beyond this lifetime. So don't get too attached to it!


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

We live in the first world, so we have first world problems.

It is much easier to be happy when you have a lot. 

I certainly understand how transient money can be...my husband lived a completely different life before he lost his job. He had plans to own a home and we would have had a nice wedding.

All that went down the drain when the company he worked for shut down. My old career as a csr went down the tubes and I had to return to school.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

My wife grew up in a household with money problems and strangely enough her reaction in her adult life was to never want to be constrained by a budget because the word brought back memories of doing with less and parental conflict. Of course that hasn't worked well for us. We're always spending everything we earn and relying on credit cards too much. Of course I became the bad guy by suggesting that restraint (can't say the b-word) would ease our situation. It is as though restraint is the same thing as deprivation to her. 

A few months ago I saw a story on Yahoo News about this farmer in the Midwest with a really small farm who managed to become a millionaire just by working hard and living within his means. Of course he had to have some luck to be able save some money each year but the point was that he never accumulated debt and always invested his profit in mutual funds. Forty years down the road he's a millionaire. He and his wife never wanted new cars or bigger homes and that is what allowed them to build their nest egg.

I mentioned the story to my wife and she thought it was impossible, but she really is ignoring the math. When I think of the interest we've paid on new cars, credit cards, and mortgages on too big houses it makes me sick. We probably would be in very good shape if we had been more frugal. I just don't see that we've gained anything of value living at the limit of our means.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Marx was pretty poor.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I like this post, Cee Paul.
Probably because I have a similar mindset. 
But I do know people that are happier when they have "more", and the ones I know do personally feel happier only because they feel more accomplished, have met some of their goals.

My personal accomplishments have been more personal based.... scrambling a mountain, overcoming issues, that sort of thing.
I can't take those things with me when I die either... but the bank can't take it away either.

It's different from what I want in life, and I just can't fight for it like they want. Material wealth just doesn't motivate me. How can you argue with what someone says will make them happy? I can't. Just be happy, is all I say.


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## dream_weaver (Jun 5, 2012)

While with exH we continaully struggled due to his gambling so for me as long as I can pay the bills on time I'd be more than happy.

My new partner earns alot of money so I know I will never have to struggle to pay bills again but it comes at a cost as he works away...

We just bought a newer model car so we have one that is reliable,thankfully he is careful with money & doesn't spend unneccessarily & plans for the future.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Oh boy, I live a 'privileged' lifestyle however it doesn't have much to do with money, but focusing on the things I want/need/desire/dream of and then finding a way to fund that life/trusting that it will be funded. I had a brain injury that finally forced me to do the things I always thought were too risky, because I could do other things that were safer, more logical, and had a presumably bigger bottom line dollar-wise. The interesting thing is that I now have more free time, my credit score has gone up, I have less debt and less need for debt (living more simply to have more of what I do enjoy, which is not material possessions or the care of them except when benefit well exceeds cost, i.e. bicycles for my family...), and enjoy my work and studies, and am happier. In effect, I am living my dream because I had no other choice. I could not think logically at the time of my brain injury and had to make decisions by how stuff felt. My personal relationships as well as my health have improved. Besides work in my career field which I love, I also have volunteer work that I love, and this year I can be paid for that with Federal Work Study money, besides all the movies and popcorn I desire, for myself, my kids and the occasional friend I take along. I have hobbies I enjoy immensely and the funds and opportunity to partake, and also am able to take camping vacations as well as to enjoy my downtime between semesters and work projects, free downhill and xc skiing, etc. My biggest issue right now is that I would like to spiff up my apartment with curtains and a new paint job and some fine-tuning of the storage but I'm busy with a summer research job and other activities so it will have to wait another month. I feel like I have a new lease on life, even though it was scary at first not to be able to 'keep up' with the old way of life that I was used to. Things aren't always perfect, but when my friend had a brain hemorrhage and was in the hospital for 6 weeks I was able to be with him every day without having to worry about finances and logistics. Knowing that I had the time for friends in need, as well as myself (I had traumatic shock from finding him in a coma, etc. so had to do quite a bit of self-care as well) and my kids in my life, was all I needed to know that I was living a right lifestyle for me. I had time and finances for what was important for me. And I still do. This morning in Quaker Meeting our minister spoke about this guy back in the 1600's who built a boat and got a 'call' to take it to Plymouth England, there he picked up a bunch of Quakers who wanted to come to this new land to minister. On the way they asked not to use a compass but every time they needed direction they sat in silence, and got direction/guidance, and ended up more or less right where they needed to be/wanted to be. I think my life is like that. I don't have a specific plan...my plan is to sit and think each day for intuitive guidance, and it has got me to this point. I remain excited about where this path will lead me. I know it is not everyone who gets a chance to live a life doing what they feel compelled to do and desire to do vs. what they have to do to keep their families afloat. The thing I love is that my finances have worked out. My kids and I have got scholarships for things we are passionate about, including school, and our passion for what I do has got me the jobs I have. Working is somewhat like a hobby which is incredible. But when you love your work you don't feel the need to reward yourself for doing it, it's its own reward, and also pays okay. I can't pretend that I don't get help or that I'm not grateful for it. Someone told me today about a book called 'The Way of the Artist.' I also have a new guy friend who lives the artist lifestyle so it's really wonderful to have the potential for a relationship with someone who is on the same page and won't give me grief about work decisions and who understands the nature of the $0 date and putting life energy including $ into things that have value. It's different than being cheap, it's being thoughtful. Really, we live in such a culturally and geographically/naturally 'rich' area of our state that it doesn't take a lot of $ to have a wonderfully rewarding life.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Cee Paul,

Don't know if it was mentioned earlier, but what does your wife see as her part in generating this life of affluence? Does she / is she willing to work hard and make at least 50%? Or does she work just for herself and you are supposed to maintain the home and meet your own needs? Or (even worse) does she expect to be a SAHM where you provide her a fat allowance and a nice home?

It does make a difference as to how you address the issue.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

DTO said:


> Cee Paul,
> 
> Don't know if it was mentioned earlier, but what does your wife see as her part in generating this life of affluence? Does she / is she willing to work hard and make at least 50%? Or does she work just for herself and you are supposed to maintain the home and meet your own needs? Or (even worse) does she expect to be a SAHM where you provide her a fat allowance and a nice home?
> 
> It does make a difference as to how you address the issue.


Lol, my wife makes nearly twice what I make so that's not the issue here at all DTO.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

southbound said:


> I'm with you; once one has the things you mentioned with comfort, I don't have much motivation to kill myself to make money. I guess my idea of success is not having to work all the time and being stressed out over money and payments.
> 
> Due to my divorce, I now live in an old farm house that wouldn't impress anybody. I'm sure most people would have put a lot of money in it and fixed it up, but it basically has everything I need, so why fool with it. I can just keep that money in the bank along with piece of mind. I realize it's not much of a woman magnet. I'm sure I'd have to have 911 on speed dial if I ever brought a date here, but it suits me fine. :rofl:


I am one of those odd women who would be hugely impressed with an OLD Country FARMHOUSE ! (I used to say the perfect Guy for me would be a "farmer")..... I'd eventually want the place to look good, giving it atmosphere to be proud of, but that all comes in due time, when the $$ is there. I am not one for taking out loans for anything...I refuse to pay interest if it can be avoided. 

It was our "dream" to buy one of those Country Farm houses years before we married, we used to spend hours driving old back roads just looking / dreaming, while we stock piled our cash... we did land our dream 6 yrs into our marriage, with more privacy & acrerage than we ever thought possibe -given his lower income at the time. It pays to plan & save ~ save ~ save ! 

What makes me & my husband happy & fullfilled was never to keep up with those who have a Lifestyle / excitment, glitz that we see in Hollywood or furnishings that could be modeled in a "House beautiful magazine".... we don't need 1st class, or newer cars to impress anyone... I work for people like this, they have no time to enjoy all they have worked for ....this is what I see.

Someday at the end of our life.... it will be the memories we shared together, the House we made into a Home .... working on things side by side ...the togetherness.....it is THIS we will miss, the laughter within those walls..... not years working away from home to aquire THINGS feeling they "satisfy" our thirsty souls. 


We are LIVING our level of happiness & comfortableness right now...

And we are still considered "low income" given our family size...

So thankful for our health...this is #1...and of our children...nothing is as important....being Debt free...... enjoying the peacefulness of country life.....just taking walks hand in hand in the back woods, picking berries off the land to make pies to share....it's the little things...having reliable vehicles, His having a Good enough Union blue collar Job to support our family & pay every bill that comes our way... with enough set aside for those emergencies...

We like to take at least 1 Romantic Vacation away from home a year... at least 1 or 2 Family vacations ...with plenty of day trips to museums, amustment parks, fairs, swimming, biking, movies, skating, etc to entertain the kids in life. 

So long as we can afford our bills, put healthy food on the table, be able to fix what is broken & in need of repair, pick up another 4x4 when the motor dies...buying a few luxeries along the way (new cameras, computers, ipods, video systems, big screen Tv's , a new shed, new carpet etc etc)... affording cable, being able to throw large bonfires and birthday parties for our kids... we are Happy as pigs in mudd. 












> *lovesherman said*: I like Thoreau's quote, "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone."
> 
> After awhile, things start to own you. Too much to maintain, too many worries, a never ending cycle of wanting, wanting, wanting. Never being satisfied is exhausting.


I agree with this!


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

edenbisdee7215 said:


> Well dear its ok that you think that way but one thing is that there is no in betweens, either you are greedy or content. This is the actually reality of comfortable life if you understand your category.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


What I listed on the first page is about all I ever hoped for growing up(didn't have most of that as a kid), and being filthy rich with fancy things was a nice thought but to me was always a pipe dream or a fantasy more than anything else. But my wife wants it to be a reality and wants us to kill ourselves trying to get it, and I'm just not on board with all that I guess.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

It seems like people here don't put much stock in material things, but I don't know where these people are where i live. Nobody here is "rich", but they certainly live a bit beyond their means. Everybody has to have a nice house, nice cars, etc. I work in a job where homes are often visited, and people often make negative comments about the condition of other's homes. It's like, "Oh, did you see their carpet,?" Maybe it's because I live in a rural area and people think they have something to prove. I often joke that if i brought a date to my current house, she'd probably faint.


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Money doesn't equal happiness, but it sure helps with stress. All I want is for my family to be set, in case anything happens to me. None yet, but I want my children to enjoy life more than I did/will.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

occasionallybaffled said:


> Money doesn't equal happiness, but it sure helps with stress. All I want is for my family to be set, in case anything happens to me. None yet, but I want my children to enjoy life more than I did/will.


Totally feel the same..... but.... I do have kids... lmao!


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## DrunkenH (Jul 29, 2012)

When I think of the amount of money I've burned through in my life with nothing to show for it, I feel a little ill. I'm well into my forties and I've never owned a home, never been on a nice vacation, and have never had more than a couple of grand to my name at any given time. All of this while making a pretty respectable salary. A misspent youth, that is for sure.


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

Reading this thread makes me feel like most people are actually very wealthy already but in some sort of denial about it. "I'm simple, all I need in life is a house, a car or two, 2-3 vacations a year, health insurance and pension, a few luxuries, something branded Apple, and extra money after that and I'm fine".

If I had all those things AND kids I'd consider myself absolutely successful. I'm at a loss - what MORE could you possibly want after that? Would that 4th vacation really cinch it in terms of your overall lifetime happiness?

Not that I'm bitter or anything, our apartment only leaks when it rains and our crusty old 80's station wagon is actually very reliable. :|


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## lalsr1988 (Apr 16, 2012)

Jane_Doe said:


> Reading this thread makes me feel like most people are actually very wealthy already but in some sort of denial about it. "I'm simple, all I need in life is a house, a car or two, 2-3 vacations a year, health insurance and pension, a few luxuries, something branded Apple, and extra money after that and I'm fine".
> 
> If I had all those things AND kids I'd consider myself absolutely successful. I'm at a loss - what MORE could you possibly want after that? Would that 4th vacation really cinch it in terms of your overall lifetime happiness?
> 
> Not that I'm bitter or anything, our apartment only leaks when it rains and our crusty old 80's station wagon is actually very reliable. :|


agreed. My wife and I are not rich by no means, we don't even have a car. But its not needed here in NYC thanks to Mass Transit. We have a modest 3 bedroom apartment, and eat out once every 2 weeks on payday. But we are happy, our three children are clothed, clean and wellfed, and that's all that matters. Our "vactions" are one trip a year to relatives 600 miles away
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Jane_Doe said:


> Reading this thread makes me feel like most people are actually very wealthy already but in some sort of denial about it. "I'm simple, all I need in life is a house, a car or two, 2-3 vacations a year, health insurance and pension, a few luxuries, something branded Apple, and extra money after that and I'm fine".
> 
> If I had all those things AND kids I'd consider myself absolutely successful. I'm at a loss - what MORE could you possibly want after that? Would that 4th vacation really cinch it in terms of your overall lifetime happiness?
> 
> Not that I'm bitter or anything, our apartment only leaks when it rains and our crusty old 80's station wagon is actually very reliable. :|


I've been on both sides of it financially Jane Doe and both have their ups and downs, the only thing that would be truely and 100% awesome is _winning_ a large sum of money and not having to bust your ass for it.

There's a line in the movie Scarface where Tony Montana(Al Pacino)tells Elvira(Michelle Pfeifer) - "I work f*ckin hard to give you all of this", and her response was - "it's too bad someone didn't just GIVE it all to you then you might be a lot nicer".


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## slater (Feb 3, 2012)

southbound said:


> It seems like people here don't put much stock in material things, but I don't know where these people are where i live. Nobody here is "rich", but they certainly live a bit beyond their means. Everybody has to have a nice house, nice cars, etc. I work in a job where homes are often visited, and people often make negative comments about the condition of other's homes. It's like, "Oh, did you see their carpet,?" Maybe it's because I live in a rural area and people think they have something to prove. I often joke that if i brought a date to my current house, she'd probably faint.


Funny you mention carpet. My wife and I both work and have successful careers. We are "Obama rich", meaning we certainly dont feel rich (we bust our butts working hard) but according to the president we are. Our secret has never been what we make, it's what we spend. After getting in debt after we first were married we quickly righted the ship. We sold our house and moved into a tiny apartment to pay off all of our debt. Within 6 months we bought a new home. Not a big home but nice. Most of our friends drive luxury cars and live in 500k+ homes. Not us. Our carpet is trashed, but with little kids always making messes why replace it now. Sometimes we get the "I wants" but luckily we stay focused. We do take vacations but our goal each year is to grow the bottom line. 

We are fortunate in many respects so we give back as we can. That said see my thread in the infidelity section and realize money and happiness don't always go together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I grew up in a poor immigrant family, so I like having money to live comfortably, afford some luxuries, and then some. My perspective is that, since I have to work anyway, I might as well make as much money as possible. 

I have no debt, house is paid off, healthy savings..._and _I feel the need to make sure I have lots more money in case of emergency, unemployment, illness that would keep me from working, and for retirement (so I don't have to work forever).

I have no desire, however, to live beyond my means or to stretch my means. I don't need any more "stuff" or more expensive "stuff" than the stuff I already have. I want as much _money_ as possible, though, so that I can be sure of a comfortable and secure future through to retirement (which I'd like to do sooner, rather than later).


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Jane_Doe said:


> Reading this thread makes me feel like most people are actually very wealthy already but in some sort of denial about it. "I'm simple, all I need in life is a house, a car or two, 2-3 vacations a year, health insurance and pension, a few luxuries, something branded Apple, and extra money after that and I'm fine".
> 
> If I had all those things AND kids I'd consider myself absolutely successful. I'm at a loss - what MORE could you possibly want after that? Would that 4th vacation really cinch it in terms of your overall lifetime happiness?
> 
> Not that I'm bitter or anything, our apartment only leaks when it rains and our crusty old 80's station wagon is actually very reliable. :|


Can you get your landlord to repair the leaks? 

I don't understand people with decent lives who complain and always want more. My SIL wants a bigger house-she already has a beautiful 3 bedroom home! I would be happy just to have a small house, never mind craving a larger one.


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> Can you get your landlord to repair the leaks?
> 
> I don't understand people with decent lives who complain and always want more. My SIL wants a bigger house-she already has a beautiful 3 bedroom home! I would be happy just to have a small house, never mind craving a larger one.


Legally we can get him to (like when it's autumn/winter and keeps leaking), but who really knows how long we'll have to keep waiting for him and his dodgy roofer connections to get it fixed as cheaply as possible. But even with the issues that come with renting, I've never felt poor in America, because the standard of living is still really high.

I'd love to have pretty much everything mentioned in this thread, plenty of space and nice things and kids and pets and emergency funds, etc. (and we're working on all that) but it'd all be a bonus, because my 'level' of being comfortable is so low, I already exceeded it the first time I lived alone in a tiny one-bedroom apartment and finally had my own bathroom.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Jane_Doe said:


> Legally we can get him to (like when it's autumn/winter and keeps leaking), but who really knows how long we'll have to keep waiting for him and his dodgy roofer connections to get it fixed as cheaply as possible. But even with the issues that come with renting, I've never felt poor in America, because the standard of living is still really high.
> 
> I'd love to have pretty much everything mentioned in this thread, plenty of space and nice things and kids and pets and emergency funds, etc. (and we're working on all that) but it'd all be a bonus, because my 'level' of being comfortable is so low, *I already exceeded it the first time I lived alone in a tiny one-bedroom apartment and finally had my own bathroom.*


I know that feeling. When I was a young single in my twenties, I felt richer just living in a beautiful bachelor alone. No more crazy roommates.

One thing I love about our supers is they fix things very quickly. We have lived here since March and we have never waited more than a week for repairs. 

I must say that despite living in an apartment, we do have plenty of space. I suppose that is because we are a childfree couple with one pet and an extra bedroom. 

My happy marriage makes me feel rich. Watching my more affluent BIL snipe at his wife and make her cry taught me that a house is not a home.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Jane_Doe said:


> Legally we can get him to (like when it's autumn/winter and keeps leaking), but who really knows how long we'll have to keep waiting for him and his dodgy roofer connections to get it fixed as cheaply as possible. But even with the issues that come with renting, I've never felt poor in America, because the standard of living is still really high.
> 
> I'd love to have pretty much everything mentioned in this thread, plenty of space and nice things and kids and pets and emergency funds, etc. (and we're working on all that) but it'd all be a bonus, because my 'level' of being comfortable is so low, I already exceeded it the first time I lived alone in a tiny one-bedroom apartment and finally had my own bathroom.


I'm in an apartment as well. I do like my apartment(spacious one-bedroom in a nice city by the beach) compared to all of the others we looked at before applying for the one we have, but our goal really is to *own* a home. I know we are just starting out and newly married, but it can be frustrating to watch friends and others complain about wanting more when they already have so much. I would love to have what they have. We're on a tight budget and everything we buy is typically on sale. Our furniture is a lot of hand-me-downs or gifts from the wedding. We rarely ever go out to eat and all of our date nights tend to be things that are free, but I also know it's all temporary. I know we'll get to our goal eventually, but it's going to take some time.


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