# The perfect romantic night in



## mattandcandy

My wife is working some lates over the next few weeks.

My plan is to get the kids down by 7pm... fingers crossed and then make things special for a romantic night in when my wife gets home.

My plan so far:
Setup the table nicely with candles and some flowers.
Make a home cooked meal and chill down her favourite drink.
Dress up i.e. put on a nice shirt and wear some aftershave.

*My questions are*

*Gentleman:* What have you done, that made a romantic night in extra special?

*Ladies:* What would you like to happen on a romantic night in?


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

Don't want to burst your bubble, you have captured the expected, standard scenario. 

However consider this.

A light take-out dinner, no candles, good wine, eat, it's a dinner that doesn't create any dirty dishes. And showered, but soap clean smell, light, very light scent on a man if applied in the evening.

Give her time in the bathroom too, you decide who gets ready first. She'll feel more sexy if she has non-rushed time to freshen up.

Spend more time in bedroom, less time on dinner. 

Foreplay, while each getting Alexa to play favorite sexy songs, no rush now, ending in great sex.

Lotions, hard, soft, slow, fast, take your time. All good.


----------



## mattandcandy

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Don't want to burst your bubble, you have captured the expected, standard scenario.
> 
> However consider this.
> 
> A light take-out dinner, no candles, good wine, eat, it's a dinner that doesn't create any dirty dishes. And showered, but soap clean smell, light, very light scent on a man if applied in the evening.
> 
> Give her time in the bathroom too, you decide who gets ready first. She'll feel more sexy if she has non-rushed time to freshen up.
> 
> Spend more time in bedroom, less time on dinner.
> 
> Foreplay, while each getting Alexa to play favorite sexy songs, no rush now, ending in great sex.
> 
> Lotions, hard, soft, slow, fast, take your time. All good.


Thanks Ragnar,

You haven't burst my bubble, I was thinking it was a bit standard and was looking for help.

Thank you for you advice. All noted.


----------



## Tilted 1

mattandcandy said:


> My wife is working some lates over the next few weeks.
> 
> My plan is to get the kids down by 7pm... fingers crossed and then make things special for a romantic night in when my wife gets home.
> 
> My plan so far:
> Setup the table nicely with candles and some flowers.
> Make a home cooked meal and chill down her favourite drink.
> Dress up i.e. put on a nice shirt and wear some aftershave.
> 
> *My questions are*
> 
> *Gentleman:* What have you done, that made a romantic night in extra special?
> 
> *Ladies:* What would you like to happen on a romantic night in?


It might be standard but, to build on this l would do this exactly like this and have it end with a bubble bath for her. Then let her go to sleep. It will put $$$ in her love bank for you. And it's also a kind thing to do for her.

No sex, just a nice moment.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

That's a good thought but consider this.

1. It's a bit sucking up, obvious action, supports the thinking "it's all about you" mentality. Makes H appear to be earning sex later.

2. She may think he isn't hungering for her like she's (hopefully) hungering for him.

Will keep them from being "together" for another night.


----------



## mattandcandy

Tilted 1 said:


> It might be standard but, to build on this l would do this exactly like this and have it end with a bubble bath for her. Then let her go to sleep. It will put $$$ in her love bank for you. And it's also a kind thing to do for her.
> 
> No sex, just a nice moment.


Thanks Titled 1,

I'll give that a go too. Sounds like a nice plan. I've got a few nights to play with.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

mattandcandy said:


> Thanks Titled 1,
> 
> I'll give that a go too. Sounds like a nice plan. I've got a few nights to play with.


It's a good thought. Nothing really wrong there but I offer this.

What if she wants to be in your arms that night? 

Perhaps the evening will have multiple parts.


----------



## Tilted 1

Hey l all in for lovemaking, but maybe l misunderstanding of a romantic night, and if this is for getting into the panties. By all means. If your wife wants you of course. But if your wife thinks you are wanting sex out of the gesture, then it becomes a ploy . I don't know ok too many women who doesn't like Romance.... And you are filling her in her mind, and the rest will come later.


----------



## mattandcandy

Tilted 1 said:


> Hey l all in for lovemaking, but maybe l misunderstanding of a romantic night, and if this is for getting into the panties. By all means. If your wife wants you of course. But if your wife thinks you are wanting sex out of the gesture, then it becomes a ploy . I don't know ok too many women who doesn't like Romance.... And you are filling her in her mind, and the rest will come later.


I'll try your idea and Ragnar's with no expectations on my side. It's good to mix things up and make it different everytime.

I've got a one night a week to play with.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

Tilted 1 said:


> Hey l all in for lovemaking, but maybe l misunderstanding of a romantic night, and if this is for getting into the panties. By all means. If your wife wants you of course. But if your wife thinks you are wanting sex out of the gesture, then it becomes a ploy . I don't know ok too many women who doesn't like Romance.... And you are filling her in her mind, and the rest will come later.


I'm not disagreeing, and all are good ideas. Been there, done that, each, more, different, all good, etc.

Perhaps it may depend on the length of M here too, at least that's a component in the percolating to a final decision. 

Wherever she is, send her a card and flowers, to arrive at her hotel or even the branch office if you feel it's appropriate. 
Nothing she feels compelled to carry home, just an arrangement and card that lets her know you're thinking of her.

After that, it's all good. 

Many woman would want to just take a shower, change clothes, good dinner, have a great romp in her own bed. 

Now it's not a ploy to get W to have sex, she may expect to refresh their sexual relations when home after a week being gone (guessing on duration).


----------



## Tilted 1

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Now it's not a ploy to get W to have sex, she may expect to refresh their sexual relations when home after a week being gone (guessing on duration).


No, l agree it not , but l all caveman of sorts, and instead of being passive aggressive, hoping to get sex out of it. I am upfront about it.

Example: hon, l am planning a wonderful evening for us the kids will be put down for the night. I will be charming and romantic, with dinner and wine to get you in the mood for lovemaking. Because you turn me on so much, l desire you and can not stop thinking of you.

But that's me, I'm not passive aggressive l say what I want and follow through with my passions. I'm not In hopes of getting a little bit of love. I just set the tone.


----------



## heartsbeating

mattandcandy said:


> *Ladies:* What would you like to happen on a romantic night in?


In the mindset of working late, possibly stressed and tired, what I would _personally_ like is to wind-down. Relaxed clothing, no makeup, and not dressing up. It might sound lame, but I love when my husband meets me at the door, music is playing, candles lit. If there's flowers too... ooh I love flowers! He's a great cook, and hearing 'Go get ready for your bath, dinner will be ready in 30...' is frickn awesome. It could just be relaxing solo in the bath, or he might come to scrub my back, or ermm... share a sexy moment. 

Another idea is setting up to give her a massage. It's been a while since hubs and I have set up the massage table for one another, but this is something we both love receiving. Unexpectedly finding this at the ready with towels, blankets, aromatherapy oils... ahhh. This is more of a relaxation/loving thing, rather than a prelude to sex for us. I just melt into deep relaxation when I'm massaged, and would be straight into bed afterwards. He'd typically be snoring on the massage table ha ha. 

Other ideas, convert your lounge into a make-shift dance-floor. Classic movie night, hard to beat cuddling up together with Casablanca, popcorn and gin. We don't play video games often, so sometimes that can be a fun thing to do together. A couple of months ago, he bought the Exploding Kittens card game - I hadn't heard of it before, he lined it up after dinner and we had a laugh playing that. It will depend on what is important to you and your wife. Let us know how it goes!


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

Tilted 1 said:


> No, l agree it not , but l all caveman of sorts, and instead of being passive aggressive, hoping to get sex out of it. I am upfront about it.
> 
> Example: hon, l am planning a wonderful evening for us the kids will be put down for the night. I will be charming and romantic, with dinner and wine to get you in the mood for lovemaking. Because you turn me on so much, l desire you and can not stop thinking of you.
> 
> But that's me, I'm not passive aggressive l say what I want and follow through with my passions. I'm not In hopes of getting a little bit of love. I just set the tone.


That's what I'm saying, my approach.


----------



## Tilted 1

But for romance, to me it's not about the sex it's the illusion she may have building to that moment, about working for her affections, in a open flirting manner. And encouraging her to play with me. Winning her heart you can say that I'm just willing to do that for her to make us stronger in the marriage.


----------



## SadSamIAm

You say she has 'some lates' coming up.

If you know how many, do something small for her each night. Do things that hit her love language. One night like you have planned looks like you are just trying to get laid. Make sure you are thinking about her each night she has to work late. 

On her last late, get a babysitter and take her out!


----------



## mattandcandy

heartsbeating said:


> In the mindset of working late, possibly stressed and tired, what I would _personally_ like is to wind-down. Relaxed clothing, no makeup, and not dressing up. It might sound lame, but I love when my husband meets me at the door, music is playing, candles lit. If there's flowers too... ooh I love flowers! He's a great cook, and hearing 'Go get ready for your bath, dinner will be ready in 30...' is frickn awesome. It could just be relaxing solo in the bath, or he might come to scrub my back, or ermm... share a sexy moment.
> 
> Another idea is setting up to give her a massage. It's been a while since hubs and I have set up the massage table for one another, but this is something we both love receiving. Unexpectedly finding this at the ready with towels, blankets, aromatherapy oils... ahhh. This is more of a relaxation/loving thing, rather than a prelude to sex for us. I just melt into deep relaxation when I'm massaged, and would be straight into bed afterwards. He'd typically be snoring on the massage table ha ha.
> 
> Other ideas, convert your lounge into a make-shift dance-floor. Classic movie night, hard to beat cuddling up together with Casablanca, popcorn and gin. We don't play video games often, so sometimes that can be a fun thing to do together. A couple of months ago, he bought the Exploding Kittens card game - I hadn't heard of it before, he lined it up after dinner and we had a laugh playing that. It will depend on what is important to you and your wife. Let us know how it goes!


Thanks Heartbeating,

Good point about being tired. Card games sound like a nice idea, Im trying to avoid the TV.

I may need to invest in a massage table too.

I'll let you know, how it goes.


----------



## alte Dame

Lights are low, music in the background, a bottle of wine, some hors d'oeuvres, a comfortable couch. That's it for me.


----------



## FalCod

This is so dependent on the participants that it is hard to give good advice. Every couple will have different needs. For some, it is getting away from the house. For others, it is staying home. Some love surprise and others love anticipation. For some, food and dining ritual is important and for others it isn't.

For us, we love anticipation. When we wanted a big night of special loving, we'd talk about a few ideas and then agree to one that excited us. Food/dining was never a big part of it. Some things that we loved were simple things like playing strip poker where the winner could call all the shots for the night. Or using a massage candle in a warm room for a long, slow massage. Or some light bondage play (nothing to cause pain or humiliation, just enough to force one person to passively enjoy the attention of the other). Or playing sex games. Or watching a dirty movie together. Or trying new positions. Or trying a new toy.

The keys for us were:
* Finding something that we were both interested in.
* Discussing it in advance so that we'd both have several days to let the excitement build up.
* An even of total focus on each other with no distractions.

My one caution with this approach is that the best laid plans can go awry and you have to be ready to roll with reality. Sometimes a child would get sick and we had to drop plans to focus on being parents first. Sometimes work would intervene and we wouldn't have time or we'd be too exhausted. Most times things worked out and it was great, but sometimes it doesn't and it is better to get a rain check then to have one or both of you going through the motions.


----------



## notmyjamie

I'd recommend doing the whole romantic dinner thing on the first night so she's not super tired yet. On the last one, have some nice candles, a glass of her favorite wine, maybe a brand new pair of super comfortable pajamas for her and a show you both enjoy ready to go as you cuddle up on the couch.


----------



## mattandcandy

SadSamIAm said:


> You say she has 'some lates' coming up.
> 
> If you know how many, do something small for her each night. Do things that hit her love language. One night like you have planned looks like you are just trying to get laid. Make sure you are thinking about her each night she has to work late.
> 
> On her last late, get a babysitter and take her out!


Thanks SadSamIam,

TAM users have given me plenty of ideas to work with. The first one was a success.

I will sort a babysitter for the final late. It also fits in with our meeting anniversary.


----------



## mattandcandy

Thank you Falcod,

I like the idea of planning something and building up the excitement.

Tuesday night was a surprise, but that'll wear off after a few.

It didn't go totally to plan, but she was happy with the effort.


----------



## Marduk

My only advice is to be clear with your intentions.

If it’s to help her relax, then target everything to that, and tell her that’s what it’s for. Not trying to get sex. Focus there should be on stuff that she finds relaxing. For my wife, that’s stuff like making sure the kids are sorted, house is somewhat together, dog is walked, dinner is sorted and dishes done. Maybe a glass of wine or something, but she doesn’t really drink. For her relaxing is stuff like having the time to work out, a hot tub, girly shows on netflix, lots of snacks and peace and quiet. Then going to bed early with a calm house, probably in flannels that I hate. 

If it’s romance, then it’s the typical stuff. Flowers, one of the dinners I make that she likes or at a restaurant she likes, ample time for her to get ready without being rushed, maybe a little gift. Good conversation with lots of compliments. Lots of kissing and cuddling, hand holding, all that stuff.

If it’s connection, then what I find works is an activity. Anything from a hike in the woods to rock climbing to painting or whatever. Something new and active is good, especially if it’s something like a team effort. Rock climbing is perfect for that - you have to rely on each other to get up the wall, belay each other, communicate well. And it gets the endorphins going.

If it’s sex... well then make it all about sex. Don’t know what works for you two. Me, I text her throughout the day getting her warmed up, I’ll be very flirty with her before I leave the house and before I get home. And then I just explicitly say what I want to do to her or with her. And I have it all planned out... but very willing to throw out that plan or adapt it as needs or desires be. Key there is make it playful.

So what are you aiming for?


----------



## mattandcandy

Marduk said:


> My only advice is to be clear with your intentions.
> 
> If it’s to help her relax, then target everything to that, and tell her that’s what it’s for. Not trying to get sex. Focus there should be on stuff that she finds relaxing. For my wife, that’s stuff like making sure the kids are sorted, house is somewhat together, dog is walked, dinner is sorted and dishes done. Maybe a glass of wine or something, but she doesn’t really drink. For her relaxing is stuff like having the time to work out, a hot tub, girly shows on netflix, lots of snacks and peace and quiet. Then going to bed early with a calm house, probably in flannels that I hate.
> 
> If it’s romance, then it’s the typical stuff. Flowers, one of the dinners I make that she likes or at a restaurant she likes, ample time for her to get ready without being rushed, maybe a little gift. Good conversation with lots of compliments. Lots of kissing and cuddling, hand holding, all that stuff.
> 
> If it’s connection, then what I find works is an activity. Anything from a hike in the woods to rock climbing to painting or whatever. Something new and active is good, especially if it’s something like a team effort. Rock climbing is perfect for that - you have to rely on each other to get up the wall, belay each other, communicate well. And it gets the endorphins going.
> 
> If it’s sex... well then make it all about sex. Don’t know what works for you two. Me, I text her throughout the day getting her warmed up, I’ll be very flirty with her before I leave the house and before I get home. And then I just explicitly say what I want to do to her or with her. And I have it all planned out... but very willing to throw out that plan or adapt it as needs or desires be. Key there is make it playful.
> 
> So what are you aiming for?


Thanks Marduk,

I'll take something from all the points you've kindly made. On different nights / days, depending on the situation.

She has some lates at the moment, so I wanted to get the kids sorted and then work on making the evening special.

A few people pointed out that she would probably be tired and that was the case. A long day followed by a warm candle lit bath with a glass of wine sent her to sleep. She was happy with the effort though, so I class it as a success.


----------



## Tilted 1

Yup, l told you it would put $$$ in your Love bank for her. Glad she enjoyed the moment. And if you keep this type of love for her. Both you and her will endure the traffic of marriage and family. To keep something just for you and her. GOOD JOB!!


----------



## mattandcandy

Tilted 1 said:


> Yup, l told you it would put $$$ in your Love bank for her. Glad she enjoyed the moment. And if you keep this type of love for her. Both you and her will endure the traffic of marriage and family. To keep something just for you and her. GOOD JOB!!


Thanks Titled 1,

The heads up got me prepared. Just thinking what to do next Tuesday now. Luckily TAM users have given me lots of ideas to work with.


----------



## Girl_power

A massage. A bubble bath for two. Flowers and candles. Anything that makes it about me would be so romantic and lovely.


----------



## mattandcandy

Girl_power said:


> A massage. A bubble bath for two. Flowers and candles. Anything that makes it about me would be so romantic and lovely.


Thanks Girl_power,

I think a massage is next on my list. Our bath won't fit us both in sadly.


----------



## heartsbeating

Here’s another idea my husband I have done for one another (many moons ago!)... not so much a romantic ‘night’ but still in the theme of romance... and that’s leaving little love notes around the house to be found. Warms the heart to find them! 

Im of the mindset that such gestures are best served as unexpected and seemingly random.

A couple of things I’ve lined up when my husband has been away for work, is arrange with the hotel for him to receive a gin and bowl of nuts in his room with a note from me (they wrote it on my behalf), for his arrival. Another time I had a small box of brownies delivered which they gave him at check-in. Thing is, it’s not something I do each time he’s away - it’s sporadic, which I think kinda makes it more unpredictable in a positive way.


----------



## mattandcandy

heartsbeating said:


> Here’s another idea my husband I have done for one another (many moons ago!)... not so much a romantic ‘night’ but still in the theme of romance... and that’s leaving little love notes around the house to be found. Warms the heart to find them!
> 
> Im of the mindset that such gestures are best served as unexpected and seemingly random.
> 
> A couple of things I’ve lined up when my husband has been away for work, is arrange with the hotel for him to receive a gin and bowl of nuts in his room with a note from me (they wrote it on my behalf), for his arrival. Another time I had a small box of brownies delivered which they gave him at check-in. Thing is, it’s not something I do each time he’s away - it’s sporadic, which I think kinda makes it more unpredictable in a positive way.


Thanks heartsbeating,

Im happy for any suggestions. I’ll have a think about some little treats that I can put around the house. I did get her a CD one time and put it on her dashboard rather than just giving it to her.


----------



## saradanyal94

We went to his hometown and he showed me the places that meant a lot to him and that he would go to growing up, then we walked through this beautiful park in the dark that seemed enchanted, and just talked, and he held my hand.


----------

