# so let's talk $$$$$$$



## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

we've been married 26 years and have always shared all finances. joint accounts. equal access. no questions asked...though we always consult the other before making any big purchase. We also shared everything 100% when I was a sahm and contributed nothing financially for 13 years. 

I know this sharing everything doesn't work for every couple. I see people here talking about giving their spouse an allowance, his/her banking accounts, some are responsible for certain household bills..their spouse others.....etc.

just curious how you handle finances at your house...and if things are divided, do you do it for ease? because you feel it is the responsible thing for your future? because you make the majority of the money so you feel it is fair that you have control of it.....???


*so I just scrolled down and see their is a finances forum. feel free to transfer this if it's not supposed to be here...


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

My wife and I are fortunate that she wants to be a SAHM and that I can provide that opportunity. Everything is in joint accounts - even some of the things she really doesn't know that much about (investment accounts). 

We did the joint household account and each of us maintaining our separate accounts with the "house" giving each of us "mad money" each month but quit that years ago - it's all the same pot anyway. 

Yes I contribute the financial resources to the team but she contributes just as much via other means. It's a partnership in every way.


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## NeedTLC (May 2, 2012)

All joint accounts. He handles the personal (family) finances, I handle our small company finances.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

We have separate checking, savings, credit cards and retirement investments. We have signature rights on all of each others' accounts as well as passwords. While my wife doesn't have much of an interest, I make the majority of the investment decisions but always after consulting with her. I track all the financials on the spread sheet monthly but have no need or desire to look at her activity in her checking account or CCs. We are completely open. Whoever grabs the mail that day opens the bills, statements and whatever and files them. Anything odd, we discuss. We have certain bills that we are individually responsible for. Because I am a commissioned salesman, our income fluctuates from month to month so who pays what can be fluid. I make significantly more than my wife and in a good year, more than double. But it is always our money, never hers or mine. This works well for us as we have very similar beliefs in how we spend, or more correctly, don't spend money. We also have complete trust in each other's financial decisions. We always review with each other before any major purchases. In our 25+ years together we have only had one argument about money. It works well for us.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Currently... in my situation.. we have just been using "his account"... I've been a SAHM for going on 4 years.. and frankly... am quite tired of it so... after having discussed this with hubby.. he's finally ok with putting the kids in daycare and letting me work as well... (although he has been concerned about the type of job I plan on getting...)


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I make slightly more than he does, and we keep separate bank accounts. I would rather he took over everything but he doesn't agree. I like to spend and he likes to save, so if we combined things it could get messy. I was a single mom with 3 kids when we met and so was used to doing my own thing, too.

We have a joint visa account with separate cards that we both use for almost everything, to collect travel miles. When we go away for a trip he pays for pretty much all of it, he also pays for all the major home projects we do. He pays the mortgage and the cable bill (because I would rather not even have cable) and the internet bill. I pay for cell phones for all 5 of us, the utilities, and all the groceries and day to day household expenses, including everything kid related.

He used to take things to the extreme and refuse to pay for ANYTHING related to what I was supposed to pay for. For example, he had one of the kids at the store once and I had given the kid money. They came up short by 75 cents or something and he refused to give the kid 75 cents. This was before D day and counseling and everything. He has become FAR more relaxed about such things now, and doesn't keep track of everything the way he used to, which is nice.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm a homemaker and we share finances. He works and I pay the bills. I control the money but we both know where we are financially and are both free to make decisions as they need to be made.

Money for us is like food. Both of us are capable of looking in the fridge to see if there is anything to eat....or not. Is there enough before we go shopping again or do we need to ration a bit. And if one is about to eat the last piece of chocolate cake its common courtesy to check with the other one first. LOL

No biggie.


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## Blank (Apr 15, 2012)

Everything in joint account/ sharing. 

In fact, I just earn and hand over to her. She manages well and talks about it every now and then.

I like to give her everything and she likes to make it grow and play with it.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

One thing me and my hubby discussed was making a joint account, him keeping his account, and me getting my own so we would have three accounts. The joint we would use to pay bills, ect and our seperate accounts would be little allowances we gave ourselves to use for whatever. This of course was after we had seen someone mentioning doing this with their spouse on another thread. Don't remember who though but we thought it was a great idea.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Blank said:


> I like to give her everything and she likes to make it grow and play with it.


To the sex forum you go....


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Gaia said:


> One thing me and my hubby discussed was making a joint account, him keeping his account, and me getting my own so we would have three accounts. The joint we would use to pay bills, ect and our seperate accounts would be little allowances we gave ourselves to use for whatever. This of course was after we had seen someone mentioning doing this with their spouse on another thread. Don't remember who though but we thought it was a great idea.


That's exactly what we did for several years. Eventually for us it just became more checking accounts to reconcile but I know others who swear by it.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Well we are definitely planning to give it a shot!!


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

We have a joint account. Neither of us has had our own bank account since before we were married. I think we merged everything together a year or so before the wedding.

Now I am a SAHM and have been for almost 9 years so I haven't contributed financially for a long time. My husband likes for me to take care of all the bills and shopping. He wouldn't know how to log into our bank account if his life depended on it.

Neither of us ever make a large purchase without talking about it first. 

Years ago he thought maybe he could do better paying the bills and stuff so he took over for two months. It was a nightmare!!


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

I did a thread on this a while back:


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...2275-do-you-your-spouse-combine-accounts.html


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

We combined finances after we bought a new car and the child support she was using for monthly money didn't cover the payment.

Things metastasized from there as she found more and more things we needed to do for the kids. The carrot - of course - being that the kids would "appreciate it"

Big mistake.

Will never do it again in this or any other relationship.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

We have all accounts in both our names. Since she was a banker in her first career, she's always done the day to day finances. I check the balances at the end of the month and also do all the investments. We always discuss our income and expenditures, freely. It has worked well for us for a long time. I know others like to keep their independence and I do agree that's good too.

We come from an older generation where the male, as the bread winner, traditionally did it all. I've been asked, on more than one occasion, about why I let my wife know what I make or let her see the bills. I get a chuckle out of such paranoia. What I find alarming is that I know some wives have no idea what their husbands are doing and could be left at a disadvantage, if something would happen. We went through that with a close relative and it was a bit infuriating that she could be left like that.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *Mrs.K said*: He wouldn't know how to log into our bank account if his life depended on it.
> 
> Neither of us ever make a large purchase without talking about it first.


 ^^^ This is how we are too, we discuss every purchase, I do the research, hop online, get out the phone book, find the best prices, etc. 

My husband tells people I can "squeeze a dime out of a nickel". We have always been very careful spenders....I can't say we have ever had 1 fight over $$, and only once did we not pay a credit card bill in full.... I was just curious to see what the interest would be in one month .... Never did it again. I realized we could have taken the family out to eat on that! 

From the time we married... he has entrusted me with every dime...., my husband has been the main breadwinner for 21 yrs now... I worked full time up until our 1st son.....after that.... I've had various little jobs over the years, while raising the kids. 

I have written every check, paid every bill that hits the mail box, decide what banks/Credit Unions/ Cd's we put it all in .... Everything is joint.

This has always worked very well for us- as a family.... We cut our mortgage in half from 14 yrs to 7 and was debt free before we had our last son. 

We do let someone else manage his 401K plan... we are not up on that type of stuff! We pay some Financial advisor from his work a small % to oversee it, not even sure that is doing us any good, doesn't seem to grow worth anything.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

We met young so we weren't really "established" financially. We combined and got rid of our individual accounts after about two years into the relationship. We were living together and equally shared bills etc. but I was the more frugal one and knew how to budget. He was my little spend-thrift so I wouldn't take that step of combining accounts until I saw he had some understanding of budgeting. In those early days, I encouraged him to put his credit card in the freezer just so he could get used to only spending what he had. This did help, along with other methods we tried, so that we managed to pay rent etc. 

Everything is shared between us. Assets in both our names etc. And would you believe it? HE now creates the budgets. Back then, I never would have thought I'd see the day! We aren't the types to sit down with receipts together or anything. But if there's big purchases then we generally run it by one another. 

The flip-side to this is that he balances me - and we have taken risks that I wouldn't have otherwise, and it's paid off. So I have also needed to learn to trust in his ways too. There's a balance to be had. 


To the OP - why do you ask?


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I'm a homemaker and we share finances. He works and I pay the bills. I control the money but we both know where we are financially and are both free to make decisions as they need to be made.
> 
> Money for us is like food. Both of us are capable of looking in the fridge to see if there is anything to eat....or not. Is there enough before we go shopping again or do we need to ration a bit. And if one is about to eat the last piece of chocolate cake its common courtesy to check with the other one first. LOL
> 
> No biggie.


this is how our finances are as well! :iagree:


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

i work at a bank.. i see tons of accts. for the most part of what i see MOST couples have joint checkings. but a lot of people have a private savings. this is something that i've adopted just in case. i have a private savings but my husband does not. however he has a car in his name and i do not. 

from what i've noticed checking with couples with this arrangement are usually small... only a few thousand for bills and such. but their IRAs and savings are crazy.. 100,000+ in most cases.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

My wife and I have separate accounts. We don't have a single account jointly. We dated for 8 years before we got married, and were best friends for 5 years before that. 

We never merged the accounts, and it's never been a problem. Finances, so far, haven't been a bone of contention for us. We make some purchases jointly, but neither of us ask "permission" of the other when spending money. I don't care what she spends on lunch, and she doesn't care what I spend on my netflix monthly. We trust each other implicitly. 

I could see us liquidating our personal accounts some day, but we'll do it when it feels natural and necessary. So far it ain't broke, so we aren't fixing it.


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