# We have decided to have a 3-way with his ex wife.



## MaxineTucson (10 d ago)

His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. As far as I know they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.

My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious. I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.

Any thoughts by the group?


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I always try to do people the favour of assuming their questions are genuine.

I'd say don't do it. If you want to experiment with another woman, you find and choose the woman for yourself. And don't invite your husband into it, not at first anyway. 


MaxineTucson said:


> I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants.


Pay more attention to what _you_ want.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

Laurentium said:


> I always try to do people the favour of assuming their questions are genuine.


^^this^^


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)




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## blackclover3 (Apr 23, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. As far as I know they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.
> 
> My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious. I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.
> 
> Any thoughts by the group?


lucky husbad
not lucky you

find another woman, a friend of yours or someone stranger but not his Ex


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

I can't think of a worst way to have your first threesome experience. Threesomes can be very difficult to manage even in a solid relationship. Since you already resent her I can only see this going bad. How will you feel when he starts paying more attention to her during sex.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now *only likes women*.


So there is no need for him to be there.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

If you read a few threads on here dealing with threesomes, most of them...end badly. And by ''badly,'' I mean...usually one spouse or the other, or the third person starts having feelings. Falling in love and so on. And then, it's not _nearly_ as fun as they'd hoped. So, know that going into this, that _could_ happen. 

Is it worth hurting your marriage to enjoy a new sexual experience? Maybe you and your husband should consider that it's a possibility for things to not turn out how you'd hoped.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Madness to even consider it. Unless you want your life blown up.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We've done plenty of threesomes, but not with someone that closely connected to either of us. All of them were tremendous fun and didn't create any issues. That said, it can be hard to find a suitable third if you want to try this out with someone else. Anyway, IMO it's not ideal, but if you consider it, talk through all the possible (even remotely unlikely) ways things could go wrong, create jealousy, insecurity, mistrust, etc. If you decide to go ahead, set boundaries for yourselves, and also discuss any with his ex that would apply to her, so there is little room for drama, and clear limits so that anyone could call a stop at any time.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

Thought I may have gotten redirected to "penthouse forum" for a second there.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You, him, and his ex. What could possibly go wrong.

If the two of you want to experiment, find someone else.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Is it wrong to say "Pics or it didn't happen"?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now *only likes women*. *I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. *On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. As far as I know they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.
> 
> My name came up in conversation and his former, *Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious.* I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. *I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants.* He said he would only participate if I wanted and *I am having mixed thoughts about that.*
> 
> Any thoughts by the group?


*You should have mixed thoughts about this*. Should you, your H and his ex wife (mother of his children) have a 3-some?

*My initial suggestion is NO*. However, you have free will, which means you can play with fire and make your own mistakes. 

There are many kinds of 3-somes. Some MFF 3-somes are one person is the "focus" and has sex with the man and the other woman. Since your H's ex said she would *like to do you and she is only into women*, that could be what she meant. In other 3-somes everyone has a opportunity to have sex with each participant sometimes two on one. Since his ex isn't into men, I assume she wouldn't want to do her ex and not her. If that is the case, and your really want to and everyone understands what is happening, then OK. But why do you need your husband there? Why not just hook up with his ex and come home and have sex with him.

Now if your H is assuming he gets to have sex with his ex, I would strongly recommend you don't agree to that. 

Sex between you H and his ex could rekindle old feeling on his part (probably disgusting on the ex's part, if she is no longer into men) after all she is the mother of his children. What if his kids learn that "mommy and daddy had sex together." They might put pressure on their dad to dump you and remarry their mom. A 3-some, where he gets to have sex with you and his ex wife, can also bring up feelings of competition as to who is a better sex partner. Are you sure you want to be compared to another woman's sexual talents? There are so many bad outcomes, I strongly recommend you not consider allowing him to have sex with his ex under any conditions.

Then again, you have free will and can make your own choices.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Always Learning said:


> I can't think of a worst way to have your first threesome experience. Threesomes can be very difficult to manage even in a solid relationship. Since you already resent her I can only see this going bad. How will you feel when he starts paying more attention to her during sex.


Unless OP starts the ball rolling stating she's the dominatrix of the group, dresses and has the accessories to go with it. 

Still likely a disaster but would be an interesting story.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. As far as I know they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.
> 
> My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious. I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.
> 
> Any thoughts by the group?


LoL! Go away now. Off with you and your doomed marriage.🙄

I think you can guess at my intent.😉


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

The stupidity of many of today's men. Don't they realized that in the end they are left alone sucking their fingers when their partner leave then for another woman. I guess he didn't learn with the ex, and now that he is thinking with his little head can't even put one + one, and realize that involving an ex is even worse. He doesn't realize that he married for a second time another woman that in the end might end up liking women so much that OP in the end will leave him for another woman, also.

Can you imagine this stupid man, having to see his two exe's being lovers after being dumped by the present wife for the ex (which she claims that she has always resented her). Pitiful dude. And OP doesn't even gets a clue of the disrespect to her and the relationship that he has shown her?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Young at Heart said:


> *You should have mixed thoughts about this*. Should you, your H and his ex wife (mother of his children) have a 3-some?
> 
> *My initial suggestion is NO*. However, you have free will, which means you can play with fire and make your own mistakes.
> 
> ...


I sense an onlyfans page link coming....


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

You would be with the woman he was with. and he would be there with you two. umm, can’t you find a woman at Pilates, a casual friend, a new neighbor down the block, heck, even a woman from your church or kids’ school? Being with his ex is a danger zone!


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Interesting....


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Longtime Hubby said:


> You would be with the woman he was with. and he would be there with you two. umm, can’t you find a woman at Pilates, a casual friend, a new neighbor down the block, heck, even a woman from your church or kids’ school? Being with his ex is a danger zone!


Maybe OP knows things are going downhill anyway and may just want to have some strange and interesting times before things go down in flames regardless.

But we're all just guessing at this point.
I'm trying to act as if this is real, maybe it is. Shrugs shoulders.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Young at Heart said:


> *You should have mixed thoughts about this*. Should you, your H and his ex wife (mother of his children) have a 3-some?
> 
> *My initial suggestion is NO*. However, you have free will, which means you can play with fire and make your own mistakes.
> 
> ...


He should volunteer as the camera man.

Or camera person.....


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## chazmataz33 (Apr 18, 2021)

I would keep it with you being the center of attention unless you're comfortable with your husband interacting with her but she's just in into girls right? Hey you never know what does he think?


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Maybe OP knows things are going downhill anyway and may just want to have some strange and interesting times before things go down in flames regardless.
> 
> But we're all just guessing at this point.
> I'm trying to act as if this is real, maybe it is. Shrugs shoulders.


shrugs here. we need the video!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You won't like it. Women are soft and squishy like gel insoles and have pointless sacks of flab on their chests.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You won't like it. Women are soft and squishy like gel insoles and have pointless sacks of flab on their chests.


Yes, they are beautiful, aren't they?


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)




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## Mystic Moon (6 mo ago)

MaxineTucson said:


> Any thoughts by the group?


I wouldn't do it if I were you. If you are curious about being with another woman, find someone that you find attractive, and who does not have a history with either you, or your partner.

The potential for jealousy is already pretty high in threesomes, in general. You (and your partner apparently) want to experiment with his ex- wife, which will only increase the likelihood of causing a negative experience. Unfortunately, when it comes to threesomes, the overwhelming feelings typically only get noticed afterwards. 

There is a lot of wisdom in the idea of having a threesome with strangers, or casual friends, to avoid the emotional baggage that is not uncommon. Unlike, when you have a threesome with people who are not emotionally invested with one another, in some way.

Imagine the look of pleasure on her face when your man is touching her. Imagine the look on his face when she is doing that thing he loved when they were together. Are you prepared to see them enjoying each other? Some people even like to compete during group sex to see who can get the best reaction. They thrive on the drama and intensity.

Find someone else to explore this curiosity with if you are truly that interested. If you're not, decline her invitation.

I am curious why your man though it could be fun to allow his ex into your sex life. His ex left him for a woman. Is he trying to see if it will happen again, with you? My husband would never suggest bringing either of our exes into our bedroom, for a multitude of reasons. Neither would I! So much can go wrong!!


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> He should volunteer as the camera man.
> 
> Or camera person.....


I am never amazed at how stupid people can be.
My simple advice….DON’T!


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)




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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Can anyone please talk some sense into this lady?


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

moon7 said:


> Can anyone please talk some sense into this lady?


Some people learn the hard way


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

The ex didn't do enough damage breaking your husband's heart once,
Now she wants to do it twice, and you are going to help facilitate it.
The man is a glutton, I'll give him that.
OP, if you give a damn about this guy, you not only avoid the threesome, but you get him as far away from her as you can.
She wants to not only blow your marriage up, she flat out wants to destroy him as well.
You need to decide if you want to play the fool and be her tool.
For his sake, you need to nix this quick.


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## Dormatte (4 mo ago)

Don't do it.


You're only doing it for him.

You're only doing it because you feel or already know that they're still in love with each other, and perhaps inappropriately involved with one another.


Your marriage isn't probably good and you're probably doing anything to not "loose him".


Since he told you that she broke his heart, that probably means that she still has his heart.


Don't do it.

Let the marriage go if it's terrible.

It doesn't sound like you respect and love yourself.


You can't make him love you, want you, or be interested in you in any way... especially the way he probably wants his ex still..


If the feelings aren't there, they're just not.


Don't do it.

They're more involved with each other than you're aware of (if you're not aware)

If he was "all yours" he wouldn't be engaging in inappropriate behaviors and talks with his ex. 

He would shut it down immediately, not entertain it.


Their conversations should only be about the children, and nothing else.


Learn some self respect and learn to love yourself.

Drop him.

If he wanted to amp up your sex lives or be interested in something sexually, all suggestions should be discussed with only you 

The two of you then mutually should decide on a female that you two aren't connected to.



Your marriage is in trouble already before,
And will be worse after.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. As far as I know they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.
> 
> My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious. I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.
> 
> Any thoughts by the group?


As one of the resident Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) "experts" here, I would say that overall, your marriage situation does not seem, based upon what you have written, to be in a state that would make me worry for you two to engage in a threesome, or for you specifically to go out and experiment with other women.

With that said, your husband's ex should not be the one that you do this with unless he and you have had a really good relationship with the woman to date, which is not what you have indicated. There are way too many underlying potential problems, or worse, possible plotting, to make this a good idea as described.

If you and your husband really want to do this, look up your local swingers or kink group, and start making friends among those communities, who would then be potential play partners. But don't make your selections from among ex's unless the break up was a mutual things are working and the separation was amicable with friendship remaining.


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## Exit37 (3 mo ago)

This feels like the marriage version of Frogger. And not one of the easy levels.


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## thenerdguy (1 mo ago)

Anyone want to bet that he is already nailing his ex, and now wants to bring her in for a threesome?


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and *apparently* now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. *As far as I know* they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.
> 
> My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". *My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious.* I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.
> 
> Any thoughts by the group?


I don't trust that she's only into women. I don't trust that there's not more to the story between the two of them.

If I were you, I'd only agree to your husband's request for an FFM threesome under three conditions:

1) It shouldn't be with her.
2) You get to pick the girl, not him.
3) Only after the two of you first have an MMF threesome.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. As far as I know they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.
> 
> My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious. I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.
> 
> Any thoughts by the group?


True story. 25 years ago a friend decided to invite a male coworker to have a threesome with his wife. A first he and his wife were keen on the idea, believed it would bring in some excitement and enhance their marriage. So on one evening the male coworker turns up at their home. After some chat and getting his wife to know his coworker better, they went to their bedroom for what they considered was going to be an amazing sex session. When they were really into it my friend noticed that his wife was lapping it up with his coworker, in-fact my friend simply became an observer his wife treating him as if he wasn`t there. He also noticed that his wife was giving more of herself to his coworker more than she had ever done with him. Once they were done, they sat and had a coffee than the coworker went home. After he left the atmosphere between them could have been cut with a knife, my friend suddenly realising it was a bad idea. He could not erase the image of his wife going at it hammer and tongs with his coworker, and guess what, four months later he divorced his wife. So although this may appear a fantasy and thrilling in porn movies, it doesn`t work in real life and if in a relationship don`t bring any third parties into it because usually they don`t end well.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Isn't winter break over yet? Asking for a friend.

I'm just going to sit back and eat my popcorn.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

moon7 said:


> Can anyone please talk some sense into this lady?


She just has to come back and engage in conversations going on.

Simple.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

I’m really confused. Why would OP want to be in bed with hubby AND his ex? Is there some extra forbidden pleasures factor here? Baffled!


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

This is an insane idea. A lot of bad things could happen. Your husband can get reattached to his ex. They have a long history and share 3 kids. That will always be a powerful pull on him. Along those lines, she could also start to catch feelings for her ex husband too. Personally I think your husband is insane to risk losing you too. 

But I have to ask, what in the heck is your husband having conversations that delve into such a subject with his ex? Doesn’t that bother you. I think your husband still has dormant feelings for his ex. Don’t open up Pandora’s box.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

jsmart said:


> This is an insane idea. A lot of bad things could happen. Your husband can get reattached to his ex. They have a long history and share 3 kids. That will always be a powerful pull on him. Along those lines, she could also start to catch feelings for her ex husband too. Personally I think your husband is insane to risk losing you too.
> 
> But I have to ask, what in the heck is your husband having conversations that delve into such a subject with his ex? Doesn’t that bother you. I think your husband still has dormant feelings for his ex. Don’t open up Pandora’s box.


Maybe he and ex have started without his wife? Looking for an extra turn-on?


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## MaxineTucson (10 d ago)

Thank you for all the responses. We are still considering but have not moved forward yet. She has said she does not want any contact with him. It may just be the two of us or I would be the center of all the attention. He has said he would be happy just to watch.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the responses. We are still considering but have not moved forward yet. She has said she does not want any contact with him. It may just be the two of us or I would be the center of all the attention. He has said he would be happy just to watch.


Do you want to be with her? Desire her? Crave her? Or just doing this to please your hubby?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the responses. We are still considering but have not moved forward yet. She has said she does not want any contact with him. It may just be the two of us or I would be the center of all the attention. He has said he would be happy just to watch.


Are you even sexually attract to women?


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the responses. We are still considering but have not moved forward yet. She has said she does not want any contact with him. It may just be the two of us or I would be the center of all the attention. He has said he would be happy just to watch.


Make no mistake here - this will be all about him!!!!


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

MaxineTucson said:


> I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine.


Pretty soon he won't be. LOL. 

Lord, the follies of some humans! Some times the real world is more estrange than a lavish theatrical production.


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## MaxineTucson (10 d ago)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Do you want to be with her? Desire her? Crave her? Or just doing this to please your hubby?


Actually I am becoming more turned by the idea of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her. 
I have never been with another woman and I think I would rather be with someone I know rather than a stranger.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Once you have had sexual contact with his Ex you have in a generic way opened up your marriage. The exclusivity you might have had since being with your H is now broken. This is not a trivial step, his Ex will now be your Ex as well.

There is also the question of how to avoid getting STDs from this woman especially since she may have been promiscuous since leaving your now husband.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

MaxineTucson said:


> Actually I am becoming more turned by the idea of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her.
> I have never been with another woman and I think I would rather be with someone I know rather than a stranger.


Very interesting.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> Actually I am becoming more turned by the idea of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her.
> I have never been with another woman and I think I would rather be with someone I know rather than a stranger.


I don't agree with this lifestyle at all, but it is your choice. I will say though, that it is a mistake to do this with someone so close. Why involve your husband's ex?


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## chazmataz33 (Apr 18, 2021)

There you go! Get a chair for hubbies and go at it and then you will know if you're bi or not.may be a little stressful with there but he should be included


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

MaxineTucson said:


> Actually I am becoming more turned by the idea of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her.
> I have never been with another woman and I think I would rather be with someone I know rather than a stranger.


Someone you know creates a level of trust and comfort that a stranger doesn't. 
However, a stranger is almost always gone from your life afterwards, so won't potentially create ongoing problems.
In your scenario, our husband isn't involved beyond watching, which simplifies things a lot; he probably would be involved if you find a stranger.
The literature says that while threesomes are by far the most common fantasy for both men and women, it is the most difficult to pull off successfully without harm to the relationship. Having prior experience with swinging (the usual couple swap) often makes a threesome work better (this is my experience). As I said earlier, thorough discussion of boundaries and limits on sex acts and with whom leads to better outcomes.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

MaxineTucson said:


> Actually I am becoming more turned by the idea of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her.


Oh, for heavens' sake!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> Actually I am becoming more turned by the idea of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her.
> I have never been with another woman and I think I would rather be with someone I know rather than a stranger.


Is it possible that the ex wants to pull you away from your husband as a way to further disrespect and punish him? 

I have a friend whose wife left him for another woman. It destroyed his confidence to ever again be with a woman. Ruined his life.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> Is it possible that the ex wants to pull you away from your husband as a way to further disrespect and punish him?
> 
> I have a friend whose wife left him for another woman. It destroyed his confidence to ever again be with a woman. Ruined his life.


Read my mind. That is it


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart....
> ... I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.


Here are parts of your first post. Do you see any inconsistencies with this? You resent her because she left him for a woman. Now you are going to leave him on the sideline so you can be with a woman. Who just happens to be the woman who broke his heart.

Just out of curiousity, is there someway you could put the knife in a little deeper or turn it a little more?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

MaxineTucson said:


> Actually I am becoming more turned by the idea of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her.
> I have never been with another woman and I think I would rather be with someone I know rather than a stranger.


This may be Hs way to open up the M paving the way for another 3 way with a future different woman.

He may have some else in mind already. 
He may be playing the long game. You know, until it crashes.


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## MaxineTucson (10 d ago)

#1 he is the one who brought it up
#2 he is willing to be on the sidelines and watch
#3 she is apparently the one who brought it up wanting to do me.
#4 I have never been pleasured by a woman and have no problem letting her pleasure me.

It's as simple as that


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Laurentium said:


> I always try to do people the favour of assuming their questions are genuine.


Up to a point, that makes sense. If I was to say "I have the opportunity to do a threesome on the planet Mars but each space ticket is a million bucks plus the rental cost of the spacesuit, is it worth it to add the third person or just make it the two of us" what would your advice be?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

MaxineTucson said:


> #1 he is the one who brought it up
> #2 he is willing to be on the sidelines and watch
> #3 she is apparently the one who brought it up wanting to do me.
> #4 I have never been pleasured by a woman and have no problem letting her pleasure me.
> ...


Are you ready for another threesome with a different woman, in the future? It likely will come up......


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## MaxineTucson (10 d ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Are you ready for another threesome with a different woman, in the future? It likely will come up......


Possibly depending on how this goes.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

MaxineTucson said:


> #1 he is the one who brought it up
> #2 he is willing to be on the sidelines and watch
> #3 she is apparently the one who brought it up wanting to do me.
> #4 I have never been pleasured by a woman and have no problem letting her pleasure me.
> ...


Fair enough. if all comfy with above, go for it!


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Are you ready for another threesome with a different woman, in the future? It likely will come up......


Or perhaps with a man.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

leftfield said:


> Here are parts of your first post. Do you see any inconsistencies with this? You resent her because she left him for a woman. Now you are going to leave him on the sideline so you can be with a woman. Who just happens to be the woman who broke his heart.
> 
> Just out of curiousity, is there someway you could put the knife in a little deeper or turn it a little more?


LOL, I never even thought of it this way. 

Her husband was broken due to his ex wife leaving him for a woman. Now his new wife is going to have sex with the ex. Maybe his specialty is turning women to the other side?


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

MaxineTucson said:


> Actually I am becoming more turned by the idea of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her.
> I have never been with another woman and I think I would rather be with someone I know rather than a stranger.


Years ago my wife and I went through a period of swinging. We had well over a dozen threesomes with women and never had a problem and it actually enhanced our relationship. That being said this situation sounds like a bad idea to me. Usually you're want to ease into this type of thing, dip a toe in the shallow end before jumping in the deep end. You have no idea what you're going to feel after the experience or what your husband will feel. His ex wife being the third adds a level of complexity that a one time hookup with a virtual stranger wouldn't. Even starting with a threesome with a stranger as a first foray into the ENM world is not what I would recommend.

Did your husband and his ex ever have threesomes when they were together, I'm guessing yes.

Edit to ask: Are you the type of person who can have sex without any emotional response? or does sex involve emotion for you?


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> LOL, I never even thought of it this way.
> 
> Her husband was broken due to his ex wife leaving him for a woman. Now his new wife is going to have sex with the ex. Maybe his specialty is turning women to the other side?


Not something to brag about with your weekly golf buddies


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. As far as I know they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.
> 
> My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious. I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.
> 
> Any thoughts by the group?


Think of your marriage as your head, and then think of what you are about to do as a gun with one bullet in the cylinder. Now spin the cylinder and then shoot. 

There is a reason why he picked his ex.


----------



## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Trident said:


> Up to a point, that makes sense. If I was to say "I have the opportunity to do a threesome on the planet Mars but each space ticket is a million bucks plus the rental cost of the spacesuit, is it worth it to add the third person or just make it the two of us" what would your advice be?


Fair point. I wouldn't reply.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Rus47 said:


> Is it possible that the ex wants to pull you away from your husband as a way to further disrespect and punish him?
> 
> I have a friend whose wife left him for another woman. It destroyed his confidence to ever again be with a woman. Ruined his life.


I was thinking the same thing. As for her husband, I’m sure he’s hoping that in the heat of the night, he can get his ex to allow him to have her too. This is his ex wife and mother of his kids, I’d bet it wouldn’t be too hard for her to steal him back.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

jsmart said:


> I’d bet it wouldn’t be too hard for her to steal him back.


The ex joined the other team. She told OP she wanted OP! NOT OP’s husband. Didnt even want him in the room.


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

MaxineTucson said:


> Actually* I am becoming more turned by the idea* of being with her especially since he will not be involved with her.
> I have never been with another woman and I think I would rather be with someone I know rather than a stranger.


The bolded seems to summerize this whole thread.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

From what I've seen of these relationships they end up with the man who initiated the idea feeling horrible and the relationship ending. 

Are you prepared to lose your H over this?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

is this a one time thing with her? here is my only concern he lost one wofe when she decided to be with another woman will he lose another wife in the same fashion....sure this experimental for you but you never know where this will lead...from your husband prespective i have to question his thought pattern. Honestly i do not see anything good coming from this


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## BRL (1 mo ago)

This is an absolutely horrible idea, to say the least, for more reasons than one.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

@*MaxineTucson*, please let us know what you decide, or tell us how it went if you do.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Rus47 said:


> The ex joined the other team. She told OP she wanted OP! NOT OP’s husband. Didnt even want him in the room.


Yet she’s talking to her ex husband about a threesome with his current wife? Like I said earlier, in the heat of the action, her mind could change. This is not just any dude to this woman. They have a long history and created children together. If she’s going to allow any man to get a taste of her, it will be him.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> The ex joined the other team. She told OP she wanted OP! NOT OP’s husband. Didnt even want him in the room.


wait, wouldn't she technically be playing on the same team, the female team? I'm confused. Not surprising. LOL.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Well the guy (husband or ex however he might be referred to) is obviously following Guy Rule #2. Never pass up a threesome. EVER. Period.


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## MaxineTucson (10 d ago)

Thank you for all the replies and opinions. I see that most think this is a bad idea but I've decided to go through with it.
We are meeting at our house on Saturday evening. It will just be the two of us playing and he will only be watching. This will be only a one time event with her.
I plan to just lay back and hopefully be pleasured and let the chips fall where they may.

Thank you all for taking the time to respond.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

If all you do is lay back and make her do everything, it WILL be a one-time event, that's for sure. You need to see a certain Sex and the City episode.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the replies and opinions. I see that most think this is a bad idea but I've decided to go through with it.
> We are meeting at our house on Saturday evening. It will just be the two of us playing and he will only be watching. This will be only a one time event with her.
> I plan to just lay back and hopefully be pleasured and let the chips fall where they may.
> 
> Thank you all for taking the time to respond.


hope you have a great time! Can’t wait to hear the details aboit the evening!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the replies and opinions. I see that most think this is a bad idea but I've decided to go through with it.
> We are meeting at our house on Saturday evening. It will just be the two of us playing and he will only be watching. This will be only a one time event with her.
> I plan to just lay back and hopefully be pleasured and let the chips fall where they may.
> 
> Thank you all for taking the time to respond.


Best of luck to you. Unless all of you have discussed the boundaries and rules of engagement ahead of time, you have no idea where this will go or how things will end up. If she gives you the best time you have ever had in your life, your husband may be all by himself from now on. He is the one who brought it up and facilitated it, so the results are for him to deal with.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Longtime Hubby said:


> I’m really confused. Why would OP want to be in bed with hubby AND his ex? Is there some extra forbidden pleasures factor here? Baffled!


To quote Billy Currington “God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy”.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MaxineTucson said:


> #1 he is the one who brought it up
> #2 he is willing to be on the sidelines and watch
> #3 she is apparently the one who brought it up wanting to do me.
> #4 I have never been pleasured by a woman and have no problem letting her pleasure me.
> ...


So you are ok with risking your marriage for this????


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> hope you have a great time! Can’t wait to hear the details aboit the evening!


Yeh, it's great to hear all about people committing adultery.🤔😳


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> Yeh, it's great to hear all about people committing adultery.🤔😳


Is it with her hubby there? i don’t know the rules. You seem to know.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You won't like it. Women are soft and squishy like gel insoles and have pointless sacks of flab on their chests.


Pointless my butt! Perfect warm pillows and miracle pacifiers. No matter how upset a man is, stick one in his mouth and he will shut right up and calm down!🤤😋


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the replies and opinions. I see that most think this is a bad idea but I've decided to go through with it.
> We are meeting at our house on Saturday evening. It will just be the two of us playing and he will only be watching. This will be only a one time event with her.
> I plan to just lay back and hopefully be pleasured and let the chips fall where they may.
> 
> Thank you all for taking the time to respond.


I had something, but, just speechless.

At least the intent is now more clear. This is the first of many threesomes.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Is it with her hubby there? i don’t know the rules. You seem to know.


Adultery is when you have sex with someone who isn't your spouse.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I had something, but, just speechless.
> 
> At least the intent is now more clear. This is the first of many threesomes.


Plus the beginning of the end for their marriage.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Is it with her hubby there? i don’t know the rules. You seem to know.


It's not cheating if he is there or knows, but still adultery. They are two different things.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> Adultery is when you have sex with someone who isn't your spouse.


But if the spouse is there? Has his okay. Thanks for clarifying. We’ve not crossed that bridge.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

MaxineTucson said:


> _*#1 he is the one who brought it up
> #2 he is willing to be on the sidelines and watch
> #3 she is apparently the one who brought it up wanting to do me.
> #4 I have never been pleasured by a woman and have no problem letting her pleasure me.*_
> ...


Yeehaw! Saddle up, then.
Oh, and stay in school.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> But if the spouse is there? Has his okay. Thanks for clarifying. We’ve not crossed that bridge.


Yes no matter who else is there.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> Adultery is when you have sex with someone who isn't your spouse.


Adultery isn't always infidelity, nor is it always cheating. The definition of adultery does not include any moral or value judgments, despite it often being confused as a synonym for infidelity. I'm in favor of adultery when it's *ethical non-monogamy (or ENM)*, but opposed to all other forms.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Married but Happy said:


> Adultery isn't always infidelity, nor is it always cheating. The definition of adultery does not include any moral or value judgments, despite it often being confused as a synonym for infidelity. I'm in favor of adultery when it's *ethical non-monogamy (or ENM)*, but opposed to all other forms.


What you think about adultery doesn't change its meaning.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> What you think about adultery doesn't change its meaning.


I never said it did.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> What you think about adultery doesn't change its meaning.


Adultery comes in different flavors, some condoned by the partners, some not. I know you and I don't think engaging in adultery is a good thing, but some people don't mind it if everything is done with full transparency.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Married but Happy said:


> I never said it did.


Ok.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Adultery comes in different flavors, some condoned by the partners, some not. I know you and I don't think engaging in adultery is a good thing, but some people don't mind it if everything is done with full transparency.


In the end it's not really about what we think but the damage that adultery does to marriage whether approved of or not.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> In the end it's not really about what we think but the damage that adultery does to marriage whether approved of or not.


But if they are in a n open marriage?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> But if they are in a n open marriage?


People make unwise decisions all the time.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> People make unwise decisions all the time.


To each their own. Who are we to judge?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> To each their own. Who are we to judge?


We see and hear of the consequences all the time.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the replies and opinions. I see that most think this is a bad idea but I've decided to go through with it.
> We are meeting at our house on Saturday evening. *It will just be the two of us playing and he will only be watching.* This will be only a one time event with her.
> I plan to just lay back and hopefully be pleasured and let the chips fall where they may.
> 
> Thank you all for taking the time to respond.


Sit there and watch? That’s going to be tough for him if he doesn’t get to play. Seeing his ex, who he’s had countless times, naked again will very likely make him intensely want her. I’m sure he’ll be wanting you too but I doubt it will be like what he will be like the desire to have her again.

I agree with everyone else, that you’re playing with fire. I hope I’m wrong and that you have your fun and no ill comes to your marriage.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women.





MaxineTucson said:


> Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious.





jsmart said:


> Sit there and watch? That’s going to be tough for him if he doesn’t get to play.


The husband was fully aware that his ex was after his wife. Now OP said she was "bi" but sounds like ex is pure lesbian. Husband, fully knowing this, instigated the whole thing. Which IMO he will live to sorely regret. If his ex turns his present wife he will have had TWO women who decided he was inferior in the sack to another female. Heck his present ex and ex-to-be might end up marrying one another.

Husband playing silly games, may win silly prizes


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

He may want to get rid of his current wife and sees this as a possible route to that end.

I suspect how he views his current wife will change even if he thinks it will not. 

I would wonder if his first wife didn't start to like women based on his urging her to try it. History repeating? 

He may also still love his first wife more than his current wife.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

MaxineTucson said:


> My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious. I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.
> Any thoughts by the group?


My thoughts are that your husband has been screwing his ex wife and wants to sneak you into it. 
Make everything ok. This will not end well for the OP.



Longtime Hubby said:


> To each their own. Who are we to judge?


It isn't about judgement, no person is able to do so. A human is able to have principle. Some people are able to decide that words and actions have consequence and not only act accordingly, but speak so as well.


----------



## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> His ex is bi and apparently now only likes women. I have always resented her in a way for leaving him for another woman and breaking his heart. On the other hand I'm glad she did because he is now all mine. As far as I know they have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc.
> 
> My name came up in conversation and his former, Tina said she had always thought I was cute and she would love to "do me". My husband was immediately interested and said he would talk to me about it if she was serious. I have never been with a woman and I have to admit I am somewhat intrigued by the idea. I told him I would give it a try if that's what he wants. He said he would only participate if I wanted and I am having mixed thoughts about that.
> 
> Any thoughts by the group?


Don't do it. If you do, try it, but remember your relationship will be over, you both broke the vow. Monogamy to death do us part. It's still cheating.
Would Jesus approve?


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the replies and opinions. I see that most think this is a bad idea but I've decided to go through with it.
> We are meeting at our house on Saturday evening. It will just be the two of us playing and he will only be watching. This will be only a one time event with her.
> I plan to just lay back and hopefully be pleasured and let the chips fall where they may.


you have made up your mind , my advice to you would have been if you are willing to try this do it in a hotel and just the two women , at least the first time ,
see how that goes ,it is not too late to change that part 

depending on how well your husband gets on with her now before this happens , and you need to let your husband know your not under any circumstances going to let her brake you two up
if your sharing this with your husband you need to think and agree with all is he going to be dressed is he going to be tied to a chair in the bed room can he be on the bed to interact with you , 
can he film it , 

you have thought about this and how you feel about this 
he for now has walked into this without fully thinking it through ,
many people think these things are fun until they are started then it hits them 
the first thing he will think of when he see you kissing another woman is what have I talked you into 
then he will start seeing images of you leaving him for her , 

you have to think will he and you have sex after she is gone to reclaim you as his wife 
it is not until you talk about what you experienced that he will feel safe again and reassured,

threesomes are hard because one is left out more than the others and you and husband knows he is going to be the one , 

I am not going to try talk you out of it if my wife was going to try it with her I would want it to be in a hotel room , and not be there as I think she could relax more and not have to think about the shadow or extra hand 

I go to liberin club from time to time and have seen a lot , and I am open to what ever adults do in agreement is good for me 
but there is a lot to think here to come out of it with out any scars , and why your husband wants this has to be thought about ,
is it so after he can get to have 3somes with other women where he will be the one in the middle or is he open to 3somes with another man


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

MaxineTucson said:


> Thank you for all the replies and opinions. I see that most think this is a bad idea but I've decided to go through with it.
> We are meeting at our house on Saturday evening. It will just be the two of us playing and he will only be watching. This will be only a one time event with her.
> I plan to just lay back and hopefully be pleasured and let the chips fall where they may.
> 
> Thank you all for taking the time to respond.


Don't be a lazy lover. Aren't you going to enjoy servicing her too?

Also H should be naked, filming, taking pics, and yes he'll want to have a poke with xw too, he'll definitely want to do his xw again as he's done many times in the past.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Don't be a lazy lover. Aren't you going to enjoy servicing her too?
> 
> Also H should be naked, filming, taking pics, and yes he'll want to have a poke with xw too, he'll definitely want to do his xw again as he's done many times in the past.


No doubt OP must return the favor. It is better to give than receive, as the saying tells us. Plus, desire will kick in with curiosity.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Maybe there should be a third woman involved to keep things interesting. Maybe a neighbor lady?


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Maybe there should be a third woman involved to keep things interesting. Maybe a neighbor lady?


Now you're just getting greedy LOL


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

It would be interesting to hear what the man (husband) thinks about all this but I am guessing he is 100% onboard. But it would be hard (pun intended) to just sit there and watch and not participate.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> It would be interesting to hear what the man (husband) thinks about all this but I am guessing he is 100% onboard. But it would be hard (pun intended) to just sit there and watch and not participate.


The deal breaker is if there was directions from the women that his only role was to be there fully dressed watching allowed only no filming or pics or him joining.....the they all could just gft it's nothing but a losing **** situation.

So H should take a clear stand before on what role he'll accept.


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> It would be interesting to hear what the man (husband) thinks about all this but I am guessing he is 100% onboard. But it would be hard (pun intended) to just sit there and watch and not participate.


it seems unreal , of all the strange things on porn this is one i never would have thought of 
gives a different meaning to close family


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> The deal breaker is if there was directions from the women that his only role was to be there fully dressed watching allowed only no filming or pics or him joining.....the they all could just gft it's nothing but a losing **** situation.
> 
> So H should take a clear stand before on what role he'll accept.


Totally agree. Why be there if can’t participate?


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

frenchpaddy said:


> it seems unreal , of all the strange things on porn this is one i never would have thought of
> gives a different meaning to close family


I mean what would it be like for his ex wife to lick his current wife as he watched? The dynamics are wild.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Totally agree. Why be there if can’t participate?


His EXW is cuckolding him with his current wife.


----------



## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Maybe there should be a third woman involved to keep things interesting. Maybe a neighbor lady?


Or better yet, just clear out the whole trailer park and have a full blown orgy.


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> So H should take a clear stand before on what role he'll accept.


you are speaking for yourself , I find it hard to understand , but I admire that the ex wife is able stay friends now with her ex and his wife , but if it was me I would not want to watch if it was my wife but if he made a video I would like to see it from the time she gets to the house to after she is gone and they give a brake down to each other on how they feel after the experience


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> His EXW is cuckolding him with his current wife.


yes there is something I don't like about the story I don't know if the ex wife is trying to do damage or is the husband giving in to this in the hope he gets more nights like this one but with other women


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

The husband will probably agree to anything, then once its on, do what he likes. Than after that if it doesn't happen again, he'll hit the road and find others to play with as he has established "Threesome Confidence" after that. Something most guys never achieve.

Or if it does continue, he just won the ex wife\new wife lottery and has FMFs all the time?

Its basically a win\win for the guy (lucky bastard!)


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> We see and hear of the consequences all the time.


We hear about the negative outcomes, but far less often hear about the good ones. I've seen a LOT of the good ones, which almost always occur when the participants thoroughly discuss things ahead of time.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> The husband will probably agree to anything, then once its on, do what he likes. Than after that if it doesn't happen again, he'll hit the road and find others to play with as he has established "Threesome Confidence" after that. Something most guys never achieve.
> 
> Or if it does continue, he just won the ex wife\new wife lottery and has FMFs all the time?
> 
> Its basically a win\win for the guy (lucky bastard!)


While a trifecta is pretty much everyone’s top fantasy, I think he’s playing with fire by involving his ex wife. I think she has a motive: Breaking up his marriage perhaps by winning over his current wife with her tongue? They’d be better off with a different woman. This plan is too risky.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Found the list on marriage.com listing fave fantasies of couples. I know it’s high on list in our home.

*2. Having a threesome*
This is often listed among the top sexual fantasies for men, but many women report fantasizing about having sex with multiple partners in this fashion.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> While a trifecta is pretty much everyone’s top fantasy, I think he’s playing with fire by involving his ex wife. I think she has a motive: Breaking up his marriage perhaps by winning over his current wife with her tongue? They’d be better off with a different woman. This plan is too risky.


Good point. Thats maybe why I am thinking he may not care about the marriage moving forward but just going for the trifecta.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Found the list on marriage.com listing fave fantasies of couples. I know it’s high on list in our home.
> 
> *2. Having a threesome*
> This is often listed among the top sexual fantasies for men, but many women report fantasizing about having sex with multiple partners in this fashion.


Its high on the list for 50% of the residents in my home.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Its high on the list for 50% of the residents in my home.


love how she gets into idea when we start talking. I think given the chance …


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> His EXW is cuckolding him with his current wife.


So maybe neither of them like the husband anymore.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Its high on the list for 50% of the residents in my home.


"While a trifecta is pretty much *everyone’s* *some people's* top fantasy "
It is far from "everyone". It isn't on any list for any of the residents in our home.


----------



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Found the list on marriage.com listing fave fantasies of couples. I know it’s high on list in our home.
> 
> *2. Having a threesome*
> This is often listed among the top sexual fantasies for men, but many women report fantasizing about having sex with multiple partners in this fashion.


“No crossing swords!” - Charlie


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Married but Happy said:


> We hear about the negative outcomes, but far less often hear about the good ones. I've seen a LOT of the* good ones, which almost always occur when the participants thoroughly discuss things ahead of time.*


Which these participants have had no discussions at all about anything. Except the husband "setting it up", his EXW and OP enthusiastically agreeing.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> "While a trifecta is pretty much *everyone’s* *some people's* top fantasy "
> It is far from "everyone". It isn't on any list for any of the residents in our home.


That’s cool, pooch. To each their own. You may fantasize about something we don’t.


----------



## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Plus the beginning of the end for their marriage.


I don't think you need to get too worried.



She'sStillGotIt said:


> Yeehaw! Saddle up, then.
> Oh, and stay in school.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> Which these participants have had no discussions at all about anything. Except the husband "setting it up", his EXW and OP enthusiastically agreeing.


Thats what I alluded to in my earlier post. Hubby is just going for it no matter what!

I'd honestly like to hear what he told each of them to make it happen. 

I have used the word "threesome" in my house before and last thing I remember was being in the emergency room with some doctor saying "You're OK. You just appear to have been hit by a toaster".


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Thats what I alluded to in my earlier post. Hubby is just going for it no matter what!
> 
> I'd honestly like to hear what he told each of them to make it happen.
> 
> I have used the word "threesome" in my house before and last thing I remember was being in the emergency room with some doctor saying "You're OK. You just appear to have been hit by a toaster".


Funny! Non toaster here. Just carefully worded comments


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rubix Cubed said:


> I don't think you need to get too worried.


I will expect to see here here in a few months with her story of the breakdown of her marriage.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> I will expect to see here here in a few months with her story of the breakdown of her marriage.


Diana7, you strike me as a “glass half-empty” gal. What about this idea? They have a 3 with the ex, enjoy it but decide it’s one and done? Or it becomes part of their sexual identity, perhaps once a month?


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Diana7, you strike me as a “glass half-empty” gal. What about this idea? They have a 3 with the ex, enjoy it but decide it’s one and done? Or it becomes part of their sexual identity, perhaps once a month?


I actually a glass half full person but when it comes to stuff like this it rarely ends well.


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

MaxineTucson,

I know it's a bit late to ask but what were your list of concerns going into this?

After the fact did any of them matter.

How did you change in your view of your H and how did he change in his view of You?

I also wonder how you and he will feel a month from now.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> I actually a glass half full person but when it comes to stuff like this it rarely ends well.


We shall see if it happens


----------



## Jimmysgirl (9 mo ago)

His ex belongs in the past. Seriously, don't open the door and welcome her back in.


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Seems that there is more of a back story here...


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Isn't it supposed to happen tonight?

Maybe we will get some juicy details we can all live vicariously through? Well at least the two pervs in this thread that want to hear details, me and @Longtime Hubby


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Isn't it supposed to happen tonight?


Yes. My bet is OP posted her last, having made her decision which was point of creating the thread.

BTW, IMO neither you nor @Longtime Hubby are “pervs” just because the thought of a threesome excites. Believe someone posted that was common fantasy for both genders. 

All I was saying is it isnt something everyone fantasizes about and got called names for my response. 

Wife n I evidently small percentage of boring people who don't fantasize about anything sexual. My fantasy is to own a 1958 Corvette. Wife’s is to run Boston marathon. Neither will ever come true.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Totally agree. Why be there if can’t participate?


It is not a 3 way unless all are participating.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> Yes. My bet is OP posted her last, having made her decision which was point of creating the thread.
> 
> BTW, IMO neither you nor @Longtime Hubby are “pervs” just because the thought if a threesome excites. Believe someone posted that was common fantasy for both genders.
> 
> ...


I posted that study about threesome fantasy. not a perv. Just human


----------



## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Jimmysgirl said:


> His ex belongs in the past. Seriously, don't open the door and welcome her back in.


I'm not sure #2 is much better.
She claims to resent the woman for breaking her husband's heart, but then willingly sets him up again for another round of hurt.
If she truly cared, she'd protect him from her.


----------



## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> It is not a 3 way unless all are participating.


This. It sounds more like a cuckold type of situation to me.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Tdbo said:


> I'm not sure #2 is much better.
> She claims to resent the woman for breaking her husband's heart, but then willingly sets him up again for another round of hurt.
> If she truly cared, she'd protect him from her.


Why invite the poison back into his life? Divorced her for a reason.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Tdbo said:


> I'm not sure #2 is much better.
> She claims to resent the woman for breaking her husband's heart, but then willingly sets him up again for another round of hurt.
> If she truly cared, she'd protect him from her.


right


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> Yes. My bet is OP posted her last, having made her decision which was point of creating the thread.
> 
> BTW, IMO neither you nor @Longtime Hubby are “pervs” just because the thought of a threesome excites. Believe someone posted that was common fantasy for both genders.
> 
> ...


But you could buy a Corvette....I'll never have a threesome unless I bought it which is just wrong. 

And your situation also probably arises from being happy sexually with your wife. That would be an interesting thread to start to see if people who were happy in their situation might have fewer fantasies and such as opposed to those that are not?

I would say that is true as people that have a great sex life have probably already played out any fantasies they might have (however tame) or are working on ones they have not yet done. So a couple with a good sex life that can talk about such things probably doesn't have "fantasies" as much as just things they plan on doing at some point.

Someone here posted how they have sex in their car occasionally. Might have been Personal or Divinely Favored...can't remember? They both have apparent great sex lives so to them that's not really a fantasy as much as just something they do as a couple while for people like me its a fantasy having not done it before with my wife (have done it with others however) yet probably never will with her as she isn't into it.

In this thread situation, I still am not sure if the OP is doing it because she WANTS to or feels she HAS to? If its the later, its likely not going to be much fun.


----------



## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

Tdbo said:


> If she truly cared, she'd protect him from her.


I see it the other way around. If her husband truly cares, he will protect his wife, the OP.
Husband is up to shenanigans, OP is for reasons unknown, walking into it. Oh well.


----------



## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

harperlee said:


> I see it the other way around. If her husband truly cares, he will protect his wife, the OP.
> Husband is up to shenanigans, OP is for reasons unknown, walking into it. Oh well.


Generally, yes I would agree.
However in this case the husband was wronged by the ex, and the OP allegedly resents the ex for her treatment of him.
OP should have set up appropriate boundaries at the time they got together to prevent this from happening.
Because something about the ex and her ex husband just doesn't sound right.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> In this thread situation, I still am not sure if the OP is doing it because she WANTS to or feels she HAS to? If its the later, its likely not going to be much fun.


I think she wants to teach her husband a lesson he will never forget. He opened up ‘pandora’s’ box 😐. I expect she and his ex to get it on hard and sweaty. Her just acting the part to rub husbands nose in it, ex because of NRE.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

@Tdbo we agree fundamentally. The whole situation is off. How are conversations about a 3-way coming up in the first place....hmmm. People who only discuss child care don't talk about having sex, do they.
Some have mentioned that this thread is a lark.
If a person has injured myself, the last thing I would do is bring that person into my current relationship. 
The OP's husband isn't done with the ex. I think OP is in for a rude awakening, people gonna peep.


----------



## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

harperlee said:


> @Tdbo we agree fundamentally. The whole situation is off. How are conversations about a 3-way coming up in the first place....hmmm. People who only discuss child care don't talk about having sex, do they.
> Some have mentioned that this thread is a lark.
> If a person has injured myself, the last thing I would do is bring that person into my current relationship.
> The OP's husband isn't done with the ex. I think OP is in for a rude awakening, people gonna peep.


Agreed.
I keyed off on the initial post where it sounded like he was somewhat of a basket case concerning the ex, and the OP kind of sounded like his protector.
That's why I said that she should have put some safeguards in regarding the ex. If not from the perspective that the husband was not in a clear mental place, but to protect the OP as well.
If this all was not creative writing at its finest, it now is a train wreck.


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Note that we don't have much information about the BHs physiological state at present.

The prior affairs may have convinced him that being a cuckold is what he deserves or the best he can get.

Sometimes abuse becomes normal for a person and they seek it out.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Divinely Favored said:


> It is not a 3 way unless all are participating.


Yeah, It's an awwwgy. The two have sex, and the one left out says Aw-gee.....


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

At least for me , it just shows how messed up thier marriage dynamic actually is...

Did the OP actually have a question 🤔 or just posting for reaction value


----------



## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Yeehaw! Saddle up, then.
> Oh, and stay in school.


And don't do drugs.


----------



## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

MaxineTucson said:


> because he is now all mine.


Not if this threesome happens. 

If my husband had an ex-wife and he suggested what your husband did, I wouldn't have enough middle fingers to show him.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Wonder of his reaction when you tell him your next 3 some will involve your ex-BF or Chad from work?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> I actually a glass half full person but when it comes to stuff like this it rarely ends well.


As @Married but Happy said, you only hear about the times it blows up in someone’s face because when things go off the rails people want to point the finger at something. 

you don’t hear about all the times that things went fine because people keep that on the down low because they know they have a good thing going and don’t want to rock the boat.

There are 3somes going on across the land every day and in the vast majority, a good time is had by all 😉


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Wolfman1968 said:


> And don't do drugs.


Well, don't get caught....


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> There are 3somes going on across the land every day and in the vast majority, a good time is had by all 😉


Maybe the folks in the pew you sit in at the church regularly "swing". Or the couple at the next table in the restaurant. Or the neighbors who always seem to have parties on the weekend. Until the wheels come off like one of the participants showing a picture of another nude participant to her husband's best friend, no one will ever know.

I have been on this planet a very long time. Suprisingly, have actually never known anyone that I knew for sure was "in the life" ( isn't that the phrase?). Neither has my wife. Had suspicions a few times but figured wasn't anything that concerned us.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Rus47 said:


> Maybe the folks in the pew you sit in at the church regularly "swing". Or the couple at the next table in the restaurant. Or the neighbors who always seem to have parties on the weekend. Until the wheels come off like one of the participants showing a picture of another nude participant to her husband's best friend, no one will ever know.
> 
> I have been on this planet a very long time. Suprisingly, have actually never known anyone that I knew for sure was "in the life" ( isn't that the phrase?). Neither has my wife. Had suspicions a few times but figured wasn't anything that concerned us.


If it ain’t your thang, then what other consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes shouldn’t concern you. 

now I wouldn’t personally invite an ex to join my wife and I (although we did invite a former FWB of mine from back in the day once LOL 😆) 

nor would I go for her inviting an ex to join us, but that’s just me.

Is there potential that this could cause problems in the OP’s marriage? Yeah sure. People have problems in marriages all across the globe that don’t involve 3ways as well.

Based on my knowledge and experience in swinging do I think that inviting an ex spouse may have a higher index of risk and potential for uneasiness? Yeah I do and I could write a 5 page thesis on why I think that is.

BUT from the way the OP described it, it sounded like everyone was onboard and looking forward to it and no one was being coerced or under duress, so who are any of us to judge.

Besides, if they did pull this off this weekend and a good time was had by all, I have no room to point fingers because I didn’t have any kind of 3-way and I bet 99% of the other members here didn’t either.

In fact I didn’t have sex or even any kind of make out or even any kind of cuddle session this weekend, so they likely had a lot funner weekend than me, so I really don’t have any grounds for pointing fingers.

if they did it and everyone came away with a smile, I’ll concede their weekend was a whole lot better than mine.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Well, OP, how was it? We need to read your review. Or did it not happen?


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## MaxineTucson (10 d ago)

We did get together as discussed. I have to admit I found it to be totally amazing. I found myself responding to all the new stimuli where my original intent was to just lay back and be pleasured.. I especially liked kissing and caressing her. I did not do oral on her but she certainly did on me. More than once. He did not participate at all other than to watch. I would definitely consider doing this again but not with her as we could see this could lead to problems if we continued in that type of relationship with her. I do not see where this has harmed our relationship in any way. I do think it was easier for my first time to do it with someone that we at least knew. Thank you for all your replies and comments.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

MaxineTucson said:


> We did get together as discussed. I have to admit I found it to be totally amazing. I found myself responding to all the new stimuli where my original intent was to just lay back and be pleasured.. I especially liked kissing and caressing her. I did not do oral on her but she certainly did on me. More than once. He did not participate at all other than to watch. I would definitely consider doing this again but not with her as we could see this could lead to problems if we continued in that type of relationship with her. I do not see where this has harmed our relationship in any way. I do think it was easier for my first time to do it with someone that we at least knew. Thank you for all your replies and comments.


Fascinating! I thought curiosity and desire would lead you to going down on her. I trust your fingers pleased her. I understand reluctance to be with her again. Sounds like this new chapter will be exciting for both of you.


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## blackclover3 (Apr 23, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> We did get together as discussed. I have to admit I found it to be totally amazing. I found myself responding to all the new stimuli where my original intent was to just lay back and be pleasured.. I especially liked kissing and caressing her. I did not do oral on her but she certainly did on me. More than once. He did not participate at all other than to watch. I would definitely consider doing this again but not with her as we could see this could lead to problems if we continued in that type of relationship with her. I do not see where this has harmed our relationship in any way. I do think it was easier for my first time to do it with someone that we at least knew. Thank you for all your replies and comments.


Good news

Lucky husband
Lucky you 

guys have fun as long as you have open communication. - i agree that you need to cut her off. even ask your husband from talking to her, she can be trouble down the road


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Could this experience have opened up the Pandora’s box for you to end up following in his ex wife’s footsteps and end up leaving him to join the other team? 

I wonder how your husband felt to see his ex naked and being sexual. Could have created feelings to resurface. Having his ex breakup their family and leave for another woman must have done a number on him emotionally. Why risk having those feelings return.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

jsmart said:


> Could this experience have opened up the Pandora’s box for you to end up following in his ex wife’s footsteps and end up leaving him to join the other team?
> 
> I wonder how your husband felt to see his ex naked and being sexual. Could have created feelings to resurface. Having his ex breakup their family and leave for another woman must have done a number on him emotionally. Why risk having those feelings return.


What’s done is done. Guess they will find out soon enough. Wonder if his ex will want an encore. Set up a 1-on-1 session without his being included?


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

No, This is serious and they need to be proactive on protecting their marriage from further damage. If they just take a oh, well this happened, should I continue, they will be heading straight for a crash in their marriage. OP needs to pause her way if thinking to evaluate their marriage. Unless she wants to just follow her desires, let her marriage be damned.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

MaxineTucson said:


> We did get together as discussed. I have to admit I found it to be totally amazing. I found myself responding to all the new stimuli where my original intent was to just lay back and be pleasured.. I especially liked kissing and caressing her. I did not do oral on her but she certainly did on me. More than once. He did not participate at all other than to watch. I would definitely consider doing this again but not with her as we could see this could lead to problems if we continued in that type of relationship with her. I do not see where this has harmed our relationship in any way. I do think it was easier for my first time to do it with someone that we at least knew. Thank you for all your replies and comments.


What has your husband said about this experience?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

jsmart said:


> No, This is serious and they need to be proactive on protecting their marriage from further damage. If they just take a oh, well this happened, should I continue, they will be heading straight for a crash in their marriage. OP needs to pause her way if thinking to evaluate their marriage. * Unless she wants to just follow her desires, let her marriage be damned.*


That's definitely what is happening. Same with her husband. If these events all really happened, then they are just going with what feels good and hoping for the best. No way did they have time to actually discuss this and all the possible pitfalls. I was just, that sounds like it will be fun, let's do it!


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

If its what they all wanted and enjoyed it, who are we to question it? As Oldshirt said in his post above, they likely had more fun on their weekend than many of the rest of us!


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

jsmart said:


> No, This is serious and they need to be proactive on protecting their marriage from further damage. If they just take a oh, well this happened, should I continue, they will be heading straight for a crash in their marriage. OP needs to pause her way if thinking to evaluate their marriage. Unless she wants to just follow her desires, let her marriage be damned.


Who are we to question the dynamics of their marriage? To each their own. Perhaps this works for them? Get their desires met, still a couple.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> If its what they all wanted and enjoyed it, who are we to question it? As Oldshirt said in his post above, they likely had more fun on their weekend than many of the rest of us!


Speak for yourself! Lol


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Who are we to question the dynamics of their marriage? To each their own. Perhaps this works for them? Get their desires met, still a couple.


Honestly the BS alarm is screaming right now on this one. Far too many contradictions in the heart of this "story".

OP says she resented the ex for breaking her husband's heart by leaving him for a woman, yet she let her go down on her in front of her heartbroken husband.
OP says her H and his ex have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc. Yet they were discussing how the ex would like to "do" his current wife.

Yeah, just not making sense to me.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Honestly the BS alarm is screaming right now on this one. Far too many contradictions in the heart of this "story".
> 
> OP says she resented the ex for breaking her husband's heart by leaving him for a woman, yet she let her go down on her in front of her heartbroken husband.
> OP says her H and his ex have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc. Yet they were discussing how the ex would like to "do" his current wife.
> ...


We need Lieutenant Columbo to figure this out.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Longtime Hubby said:


> We need Lieutenant Columbo to figure this out.


yeah but remember he always included input from Mrs Columbo into his investigative theories (even though we never saw her)

So if Mrs Columbo is also curious about the soft touch of another woman, he would probably say to go for it!!


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Speak for yourself! Lol


so does that mean you had some kind of 3way over the weekend?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> so does that mean you had some kind of 3way over the weekend?


More people doesn't always mean more fun. I know I would not have any fun watching on the side lines while my wife had sex with someone else.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> so does that mean you had some kind of 3way over the weekend?


Ha! Nope, just 1-on-1 with a role play added.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Ha! Nope, just 1-on-1 with a role play added.


I guess you could call that a 2.1-way then. 

But it’s still not a 3way.

So despite the criticisms and concerns expressed by the masses - the OP is currently in the top slot for the weekend.

Unless someone else can come forward with a full contact 3way or a 4-way or greater, the OP has top score for the weekend 😉


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> I guess you could call that a 2.1-way then.
> 
> But it’s still not a 3way.
> 
> ...


…… I didn’t even have a 1-way.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> I guess you could call that a 2.1-way then.
> 
> But it’s still not a 3way.
> 
> ...


my “speak for yourself” comment was in reply to Florida Guy commenting about people having fun. We did. No It was not a threeway, but it was fun. Never said we had a trifecta, although we are not ruling it out.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> I guess you could call that a 2.1-way then.
> 
> But it’s still not a 3way.
> 
> ...


Does 4 different positions count?


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

BigDaddyNY said:


> More people doesn't always mean more fun. I know I would not have any fun watching on the side lines while my wife had sex with someone else.


True but the wife with another woman would be something I could watch.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Honestly the BS alarm is screaming right now on this one. Far too many contradictions in the heart of this "story".
> 
> OP says she resented the ex for breaking her husband's heart by leaving him for a woman, yet she let her go down on her in front of her heartbroken husband.
> OP says her H and his ex have not had any kind of relationship after separating other than talking about their children etc. Yet they were discussing how the ex would like to "do" his current wife.
> ...


True, but honestly a lot of things I read here I think are either made up or embellished. Its anonymous people on the Internet after all.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Does 4 different positions count?


Yes 4 times 2 = 8 some


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> True but the wife with another woman would be something I could watch.


Sign me up


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I will expect to see here here in a few months with her story of the breakdown of her marriage.


yes this could be the case , too many people to spoil the soup , that said she might be here anyway even if she did not who knows but this seems playing with fire 


Diana7 said:


> I actually a glass half full person but when it comes to stuff like this it rarely ends well.


I can not say as I don't have the experience I know people that are in open marriages if you can call them that I don't as i go more for the none monogamous marriages many seem to work , but it is hard to tell what is going on in any marriage , I WENT TO a family event last weekend and for the weekend there was a husband and wife that I know are sleeping in different houses with some years but for the event they trawled together and acted as a normal husband and wife all weekend keeping the out the image


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> There are 3somes going on across the land every day and in the vast majority, a good time is had by all 😉


true but not with ex wifes


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

MaxineTucson said:


> We did get together as discussed. I have to admit I found it to be totally amazing. I found myself responding to all the new stimuli where my original intent was to just lay back and be pleasured.. I especially liked kissing and caressing her. I did not do oral on her but she certainly did on me. More than once. He did not participate at all other than to watch. I would definitely consider doing this again but not with her as we could see this could lead to problems if we continued in that type of relationship with her. I do not see where this has harmed our relationship in any way. I do think it was easier for my first time to do it with someone that we at least knew. Thank you for all your replies and comments.


I'm happy to hear that you had a great experience. My own experiences show that problems need not arise. I do recommend that you choose partners carefully, discuss the parameters, and try to involve your husband in any future encounters. Good luck!


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Does 4 different positions count?


If it was between only two people, then no there is no multi-position exemption.

And if it was just one person, that is impressive, but does not count as a 3way.

A 3way has to consist of 3 consenting, living adult humans in order to count. 

A 3rd party having sex with conjoined twins is an automatic 3way.


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> If it was between only two people, then no there is no multi-position exemption.
> 
> And if it was just one person, that is impressive, but does not count as a 3way.
> 
> ...


does having sex with a person that is bipolar count lol


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

frenchpaddy said:


> true but not with ex wifes


probably more than what one would think with both ex wives and ex husbands.

As the OP herself said, she wanted it to be with someone known and familiar.

In many ways ex’s are the most known and familiar people out there and not all people have traumatic break ups and hate their ex.

I personally had an experience with a former FWB from my young and single days from about 30 years prior. I knew her well enough to know she would be open to the idea.

I personally would not be cool with former BF of my wife’s or with an ex spouse, but I know it does go on out there. 

it wouldn’t be something that I would recommend or advocate but there are people out there where it is important for them to do it with someone they know well and are familiar with.

The OP is obviously one of those people and her H probably knew the ex would be down for it.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

frenchpaddy said:


> does having sex with a person that is bipolar count lol


No a 3way has to consist of 3 bodies.

But if someone hooked up with someone with multiple personality disorder and they got it on with the two different personalities, they might be able to make the argument they got it on with two different people one right after the other in one night.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> probably more than what one would think with both ex wives and ex husbands.
> 
> As the OP herself said, she wanted it to be with someone known and familiar.
> 
> ...


as you said before and others as well saying the same thing we get to know a little about the ones that end up bad but as you and I know most people that are into any type of swinging keep it to themselves if it goes well unless the ones that are trying to make money off it


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> As Oldshirt said in his post above, they likely had more fun on their weekend than many of the rest of us!


Over the weekend, I could've gotten hit by a car, gotten poked in the eye with a fork, a dog could've sh*t in my shoe and I could've been hit by a car again, and in my opinion, I would've had more fun over the weekend than they did.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

fork in the eye?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

So much of those beautiful forests covers the Earth, so many birds of a different feather live there.

Some sing beautifully, some just squawk.

Walking through these forests can be a joy, or jarring to our sensibilities.


_Are Dee-_


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> So much of those beautiful forests covers the Earth, so many birds of a different feather live there.
> 
> Some sing beautifully, some just squawk.
> 
> ...


thought provoking.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

so_sweet said:


> Over the weekend, I could've gotten hit by a car, gotten poked in the eye with a fork, a dog could've sh*t in my shoe and I could've been hit by a car again, and in my opinion, I would've had more fun over the weekend than they did.


I don’t know if anyone has ever had an orgasm from getting a fork stuck in their eye or talked about how great it was the next day.

But to each their own right?


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

leftfield said:


> Here are parts of your first post. Do you see any inconsistencies with this? You resent her because she left him for a woman. Now you are going to leave him on the sideline so you can be with a woman. Who just happens to be the woman who broke his heart.
> 
> Just out of curiousity, is there someway you could put the knife in a little deeper or turn it a little more?


Bit of a misrepresentation. The ex left, yes. The hubby had no say in that situation. He has the say in this one, as does she. This isn't a situation of if he says no, she'll do it anyway. In this situation, if he gets hurt, he put himself in that position, no one else.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

TAMAT said:


> From what I've seen of these relationships they end up with the man who initiated the idea feeling horrible and the relationship ending.
> 
> Are you prepared to lose your H over this?


Probably has been said already but the ex wife initiated the idea, not the man.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

MaxineTucson said:


> We did get together as discussed. I have to admit I found it to be totally amazing. I found myself responding to all the new stimuli where my original intent was to just lay back and be pleasured.. I especially liked kissing and caressing her. I did not do oral on her but she certainly did on me. More than once. He did not participate at all other than to watch. I would definitely consider doing this again but not with her as we could see this could lead to problems if we continued in that type of relationship with her. I do not see where this has harmed our relationship in any way. I do think it was easier for my first time to do it with someone that we at least knew. Thank you for all your replies and comments.


Good for you. And I'm glad that you came into this from an already stable marriage (despite what others will claim).

For the future, if you two decide to make this possible events for the future, sit down and decide what you want to the rules to be. Don't make them set in stone. Be willing to sit down again and discuss them again if either feels there needs to be a change, but follow them until the change is agreed upon.

You might also want to consider, again if this will be something you plan to do more of in the future, consider joining a local swingers group or lacking that a local BDSM group. I point to the later because BDSM is now an umbrella term for all kinks, of which swinging is often viewed as. So even if you are not into all the other kinks, there will be people within the group who will be willing to do swinging with you. There is usually a lot of overlap between the communities, so it's not uncommon to find them as one group locally.

You've seen who the ENM people on here are. Feel free to hit us up for more advice if you need it. I accept PM's if you want. The others will have to speak for themselves on that aspect. Good luck and enjoy!


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

BigDaddyNY said:


> More people doesn't always mean more fun. I know I would not have any fun watching on the side lines while my wife had sex with someone else.


True enough, but different people have different ideas of fun, and for that matter the same thing can be fun with one group and not with another. Hell, I can't stand watching televised sports, or even attending major league games live. I get too bored. But some guys love it, and many ladies as well. Power to them. As long as no one tries to present the one size fits all concept, we are all good.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Does 4 different positions count?


I'd say that moves it up the board at least. Did you throw in some toys? They're worth extra points


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

frenchpaddy said:


> does having sex with a person that is bipolar count lol


If you are going there, got to include DID. Actually I know someone with DID and they threw out the line, "When I masturbate, I'm also having an orgy"


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

so_sweet said:


> Over the weekend, I could've gotten hit by a car, gotten poked in the eye with a fork, a dog could've sh*t in my shoe and I could've been hit by a car again, and in my opinion, I would've had more fun over the weekend than they did.


Ultimately that's what it comes down to, opinions. Fun and happiness are subjective things, at least insofar as different people consider the same event at different levels of whatever emotion or experience. In the end, all that matters is did you have fun? If so who care whether others had more or less than you? You shouldn't. You should only care on that aspect for you and those you are with.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

maquiscat said:


> I'd say that moves it up the board at least. Did you throw in some toys? They're worth extra points


Damn, I missed an opportunity for a higher score!


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

maquiscat said:


> True enough, but different people have different ideas of fun, and for that matter the same thing can be fun with one group and not with another. Hell, I can't stand watching televised sports, or even attending major league games live. I get too bored. But some guys love it, and many ladies as well. Power to them. As long as no one tries to present the one size fits all concept, we are all good.


I have to admit, that in fantasy land the visual thought of my wife with another woman is pretty hot, but that is where it ends for me.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

maquiscat said:


> I'd say that moves it up the board at least. Did you throw in some toys? They're worth extra points


toys may be worth another point and bring it up to a 2.1way, but in order to raise it to a 3way it has to come up to the next classification which would require another person.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> I don’t know if anyone has ever had an orgasm from getting a fork stuck in their eye or talked about how great it was the next day.
> 
> But to each their own right?


LOL, cute! 
It's not simply about having an orgasm but everything else involved--is having an orgasm the be-all and end-all to you in life?

You're right, to each their own and I'm happy my husband wouldn't share me in any way, never mind just to get his rocks off.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

so_sweet said:


> You're right, to each their own and I'm happy my husband wouldn't share me in any way, never mind just to get his rocks off.


Each couple can determine their own dynamics whether it be traditional monogamy or nonmonogamy or whatever.

But we need to keep in mind that in this instance, he was in spectator section and SHE was the one getting her rocks off.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I think the only reason I would go along with something like this, is if my W asked for it, but only to see if she had 5 intense orgasms or something like that to convince me to divorce.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> But we need to keep in mind that in this instance, he was in spectator section and SHE was the one getting her rocks off.


Well, now, are you saying that he was a limp noodle the whole time? I'm sure he got his rocks off too, even if it was just a solo act.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

so_sweet said:


> Well, now, are you saying that he was a limp noodle the whole time? I'm sure he got his rocks off too, even if it was just a solo act.


He may have or not. Maybe he just enjoyed watching. We don’t know. That’s up to them.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Longtime Hubby said:


> He may have or not. Maybe he just enjoyed watching. We don’t know. That’s up to them.


Okay, fair enough. No one knows for sure (and, really, who cares) but I have a hard time believing he watched all of it like he was watching the evening news.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

so_sweet said:


> Okay, fair enough. No one knows for sure (and, really, who cares) but I have a hard time believing he watched all of it like he was watching the evening news.


Maybe he had a pad of paper and pencil and was taking notes?


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

so_sweet said:


> Okay, fair enough. No one knows for sure (and, really, who cares) but I have a hard time believing he watched all of it like he was watching the evening news.


If he did, he has some willpower. I know if they wouldn't have let me join in, I would have taken matters into my own hands.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> If he did, he has some willpower. I know if they wouldn't have let me join in, I would have taken matters into my own hands.


something new may inspire!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

so_sweet said:


> Well, now, are you saying that he was a limp noodle the whole time? I'm sure he got his rocks off too, even if it was just a solo act.


his noodle is none of my concern 😆


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> something new may inspire!


I know many here have voiced their opinions against it, and thats OK, but if this did indeed happen, I think he is one fortunate guy as even if he didn't participate, being able to watch two women together (one of which is your wife) had to be pretty high on the male sexual excitement scale.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I know many here have voiced their opinions against it, and thats OK, but if this did indeed happen, I think he is one fortunate guy as even if he didn't participate, being able to watch two women together (one of which is your wife) had to be pretty high on the male sexual excitement scale.


Not sure how you get past the fact that the other woman is your ex that left you for the other team.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Not sure how you get past the fact that the other woman is your ex that left you for the other team.


Yeah not sure either but its two women getting it on so I'm all in as a spectator. 

I've never had sex with my ex but I read where some guys say the sex with their ex is better NOW than when they were married as apparently hooking up with your ex is a "thing" now???? Who knew?


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Yeah not sure either but its two women getting it on so I'm all in as a spectator.
> 
> I've never had sex with my ex but I read where some guys say the sex with their ex is better NOW than when they were married as apparently hooking up with your ex is a "thing" now???? Who knew?


And if you are a Seinfeld fan, its like how George was turned on when Susan left and was seeing that other woman


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Yeah not sure either but its two women getting it on so I'm all in as a spectator.
> 
> I've never had sex with my ex but I read where some guys say the sex with their ex is better NOW than when they were married as apparently hooking up with your ex is a "thing" now???? Who knew?


I guess you would know what you were getting into? 

I had a coworker decades ago who divorced. He and his ex became FWB to one another. They divorced because they couldn't stand to live with one another as man and wife, but they were very compatible sexually. So they kept the sex and ditched everything else.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

so_sweet said:


> LOL, cute!
> It's not simply about having an orgasm but everything else involved--*is having an orgasm the be-all and end-all to you in life?*
> 
> You're right, to each their own and I'm happy my husband wouldn't share me in any way, never mind just to get his rocks off.


I have humorously made that _one-eyed point _a number of times on TAM!

A good percentage of men do view life this way.
I guess it is_ part and parcel_ of many-a-males plumbing.

Those stopped-up pipes, be damned!
Their itches will be soothed, even before food.

Sexual release is not a need, it is an obsession.



_Gwendolyn- _I wish our men were _a little_ like that. All they do is play cards all day long, and drink Irish beer.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> And if you are a Seinfeld fan, its like how George was turned on when Susan left and was seeing that other woman


If I remember correctly, he was actually insecure for that whole episode because he was worried that he "turned her gay"...Lol!!!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> Each couple can determine their own dynamics whether it be traditional monogamy or nonmonogamy or whatever.
> 
> But we need to keep in mind that in this instance, he was in spectator section and SHE was the one getting her rocks off.


Oh...so watching them wasn't getting his rocks off at all...??


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> If I remember correctly, he was actually insecure for that whole episode because he was worried that he "turned her gay"...Lol!!!


Yep but then if you recall he was rather intrigued by it.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> Oh...so watching them wasn't getting his rocks off at all...??


It depends on WHAT he was doing while watching. If he was observing and appreciating, good for him and I applaud him.

If he was on his phone or something, his Man Card should be revoked!


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

so_sweet said:


> Okay, fair enough. No one knows for sure (and, really, who cares) but I have a hard time believing he watched all of it like he was watching the evening news.


Somehow I'm also doubting that he's watching it like a football game either, jumping up and down and yelling "SCORE!" when one of them orgasms.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> I guess you would know what you were getting into?
> 
> I had a coworker decades ago who divorced. He and his ex became FWB to one another. They divorced because they couldn't stand to live with one another as man and wife, but they were very compatible sexually. So they kept the sex and ditched everything else.


My dad actually knew a couple who were great together, got married, and it was a disaster. After they got divorced, they were still living together and doing great. Humans are weird.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

maquiscat said:


> Somehow I'm also doubting that he's watching it like a football game either, jumping up and down and yelling "SCORE!" when one of them orgasms.


But he MIGHT be...Lol!!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Yep but then if you recall he was rather intrigued by it.


All I remember is the end where he sees another EX girlfriend while he's with Susan, and they start staring and flirting with eachother...which I thought was hysterical!!! Lol!!


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> I have humorously made that _one-eyed point _a number of times on TAM!
> 
> A good percentage of men do view life this way.
> I guess it is_ part and parcel_ of many-a-males plumbing.
> ...


Release is a human need. Some may obsess; all need.,


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

frenchpaddy said:


> does having sex with a person that is bipolar count lol


No it doesn't. Nn the other hand if you share sex with @SunCMars, that would count.


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