# HELP! An Ex is harassing/stalking me I need immediate advice



## Azure (Oct 8, 2012)

Ah just when everything seems to be going well in life, it throws a really crazy curveball at you.

I am about to hit my 1 year anniversary with my incredible husband and the only problems I have are my own insecurities. 

On a not so great note, one of my exes who was a very unwise rebound from way back started calling me 10+times every single night a few months ago. I am partly at fault that I'm still on his radar as I never implemented the "no contact rule whatsoever"when I made it clear that we werent going to be together ever. I kept forgetting how unstable he is because when he's not manic he seems reasonable.

I spoke to him and asked him to stop, he did, then started again last week. He has since left me 3 threatening voicemails and a vile email and text messages saying that he hates me and that "you took you away from me" and that he will f up my life. This guy is mentally unstable, I am 100% sure he either has a personality disorder of some kind or a sociopath. He's probably in some rough position in his own life so he needs someone or something to control (he is generally a loser who can't hold down a job and does not follow rules) I do not feel safe in his presence and I am so grateful he has no idea where I live now. 

I added his phone number and all blocked calls to an auto reject list. I went to the police station today and the officer asked me if I have a message/email sent from me stating that I did not want him to contact me, which I do not since I have deleted all messages but kept the VMs and the record of incessant calling. He said they'd need written evidence that I asked him to stop contacting me. Despite that, he agreed to take a report but said he'll have an investigator contact me and see what course of action we want to take. I do not want anything to backfire and make this psycho get even more aggressive.

What creeped me out the most is he used a fake caller ID app and called my using my dad's number. I have proof of this because he left a VM and it shows up as my dad's number...SUPER CREEPY. Literally left me shaking.

I NEED IMMEDIATE ADVICE. I am getting so scared and anxious I cannot sleep. the advice online is conflicting. A lot of sources say to keep your number *Should I go ahead and change my phone number? would the police contacting him asking him to stop calling me backfire?*

ANYONE WITH EXPERIENCE in this matter..PLEASE HELP!!!


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

you need to let your husband know about this and you need to follow the advice of local authorities. you may want to contact your local women's shelter who deal with women who have men threatening them. you need to get local help. online is too removed to help.


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## Azure (Oct 8, 2012)

The police officer literally just said its up to my discretion.


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## ExiledBayStater (Feb 16, 2013)

My now wife changed her number to get rid of the guy before me. No problems since.


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## confusedgirl20 (Jul 21, 2015)

Change your number if its not too much trouble. You can also get a temporary restraining order easily..go down to the courthouse for help or look up some forms in your state. If he doesn't stop and texts again...save all the texts and pictures of calls and any other evidence and see an attorney about the restraining order.

Also, talk to your husband about this. Tell him youve asked this guy to stop, and he won't. I hope this guy leaves you alone and gets the point once you dont respond to him at all. Dont even respond negatively to him...no response period! Any kind of response is what he's looking for. And i really hope he's not the violent or crazy killer psycho type.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You might want to try this.

1) kills his pets
2) trash his car
3) phuck up his house
4) beat the shyt out of his family member
5) zip tie his @ss, throw him in the trunk and drive him out of town...far far out of town( be careful you want to just scare him)

My point is you gotta be crazier then this POS, and find a support group, that distant uncle or second cousin no one likes to talk to until shyt like this comes into our life.

At the very least hire a PI and find out who your enemy really is. Seriously know your enemy and hire a PI.

And ya get a gun and learn to shoot.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Azure said:


> Ah just when everything seems to be going well in life, it throws a really crazy curveball at you.
> 
> I am about to hit my 1 year anniversary with my incredible husband and the only problems I have are my own insecurities.
> 
> ...


*YES!!!*


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I think it's phucked up you have to be this scared.
1st thing spend a day getting what you need to protect your self, then find the folks that can help you ...a PI and a lawyer....before you go to the cops you need to know everything about this guy.

it may not back fire when the cops show up, but if it does you will be prepared to play ball with this POS when you come back at him with a nuclear bomb and expose him to his mom, dad brothers sister, employeer, family and even his doctor!!!

Hire the PI and know everything about this phucker...some shyt you share with the cops when you go to them the other shyt you share to the guy that takes care of shyt like this.

Make a plan and work the plan....take back the control!

or hide in a hole and as soon as you stick your head out you get wacked...phuck that.


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## ExiledBayStater (Feb 16, 2013)

Are you in the USA? If so, consider the NRA Personal Protection in the Home class. Even if you choose not to arm yourself, the class covers more than guns.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

What's his number? PM me


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## Azure (Oct 8, 2012)

Omg, I didn't realize I got so many responses as it stopped sending me email notification. You guys are awesome.

The psychopath called my parents in the middle of the night and said some sh*t while drunk. He also left them a bunch of nasty text messages. He also called my ex husband and told him that I am a cheating wh*re etc (read below for more context). This was a day after I posted. 

He mistakenly forgot to block his number when he called my parents,, so my brother started calling him from a blocked number, waiting for him to pick up, then not saying anything at all. He did this a bunch of time and I think it worked in scaring him. That evening, he sent them a long apology saying he was really embarrassed by his behavior and that he is sorry for any pain he caused. I am not convinced. He had thought this through for some time and had emailed me just a few weeks before saying "I'm going to contact your ex and f*ck with his head so he can be the one to give you hell" and to me it seems he's just sorry he forgot to block his number. And my ex did give me temporary hell until my brother sorted it out. 

I texted the psychopath a final time telling him if he ever contacts me again I will file harassment charges. It's been a month now and he has not called at all, but I am still worried this as*hole will make a reappearance. 

How do I hire a PI? How would it help?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

The PI can tell you all about this guy. Were he works, who and were his family is, and just about anything you want to know about some one.

With this information you can attack him if he starts back up with his bull crap.

Wouldn't you like to know everything you can about your enemy?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Plus if something does happen to you or your family the cops will be that much closer to finding a "person of interest"!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Azure said:


> Omg, I didn't realize I got so many responses as it stopped sending me email notification. You guys are awesome.
> 
> The psychopath called my parents in the middle of the night and said some sh*t while drunk. He also left them a bunch of nasty text messages. He also called my ex husband and told him that I am a cheating wh*re etc (read below for more context). This was a day after I posted.
> 
> ...



Did you ever change your phone number(s)?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Take down all social media pages so he can't possibly connect any dots on where you live. He might also reach out (lie) to one of your online friends to find you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Azure (Oct 8, 2012)

GusPolinski, I did change my phone number. I also blocked him on FB and I dont ever post my location or whereabouts on there and everything is set to friends only. I'm not on other social media pages. He hasnt tried contacting any of my friends- as far as I know. 

Today he did the same thing, messaged my father angry nasty messages, then apologized again. I talked to my dad and he said better to just ignore him if he's a psycho. That's generally the approach my dad takes in most things anyway. My brother on the hand is more confrontational and I think when he finds out he might want to do something about it.

the guy, where do I find a PI? How do I go about hiring one?


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Depending on your state, this is fairly simple.

You go to the police.

You tell them (I quote): "I fear for my life"

They will provide you with the paperwork to file for a no-contact/protective restraining order with your local courthouse. (If they refuse to give you the paperwork, go directly to the courthouse and speak to the clerk directly; again, some jurisdictions have yahoos for cops)

You go to the court, give the paperwork to the clerk, and you will be led in to sit with a judge.

You tell the judge "I fear for my life".

The judge signs the protective order, and it is returned to the local police department, which arranges to serve it on your ex.

When your ex contacts you again, you inform the police.

The police arrest your ex, and he spends time getting to explore his feminine side without KY in the local lockup.


The magic words are 

"I fear for my life".

Use them often; repeat them; enunciate them clearly.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Have you told your husband yet about it?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

You need to go to the police with this. A PI isn't going to be of any help. Take your social media down completely, leaving it up provides access to your friends.

Listen to @constableOdo tell the police you fear for your life. This guy is not stable as evidenced by him contacting your father.


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## Azure (Oct 8, 2012)

Thanks all, I did tell my husband and I did change my number and I already went to the police. I really hope this guy finds another distraction other than myself and family.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If he finds you again or contacts your family, you need to keep a timeline of all the contact attempts - date, time, extent. That may come in handy in court if it gets to that.


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