# I just had a thought.



## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

While I was in school thinking of H a thought came to me. I am feeling really badly. The pain is just too much because my heart has been broken into a million pieces and I can't seem to get myself out of this hole. I feel this way and like most you because I am sad and scared of losing the love of my life. I like most am sad of losing someone I knew a lifetime, someone who once shared my goals and visions and many other things. 

Now what happen when they felt this way that made them come to the conclusion that this is over? Did they feel at all like this? Did they ever grieve for the loss of a our love? When did this transaction happen if they too were once in love with us? I dont remember my H sad for losing me. I just remember him being distant and angry at times with me. Did he ever grieve?


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

My biggest lost is that I have lost someone I have pretty much known my whole adult life and was also my best friend. When things got tough we always had a way of binding together to be stronger...it was something I always prided myself on. I mostly am mourning just chatting about silly things. He was my best friend and THAT is what is the hardest part for me


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I told him last time we talked, who am I supposed to talk to now when my best friend doesn't want anything to do with me? Like you I miss all those silly things we used to talk about and enjoy, everything reminds me of him and I just can't escape his ghost.


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## needmygirl (May 13, 2010)

I feel the exact same way and I foolishly told her that a week back as well. I see now (thanks to some of the insights here) that all I did was lay a guilt trip on her...as I'm sure you did to him as well. 

Don't beat yourself up over it (like I did) because I know you're having the same thoughts that I am about just saying what is in your heart...hoping that will help right now. It's a hard pill to swallow that they just don't want to hear that right now. 

My wife told me "sure you say that now. You always wait until it's too late -------" I put dashes to conceal my real name but she called me by my full first name instead of the nickname that she normally calls me. I think in a way that hurt more than anything else. How formal she was being. 

Anyway just try refrain from calling because right now no good will come from it. I feel your pain and we are all here for you.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I knew I shouldn't ask any more questions but I can't control myself. I need to get him out of my mind, I can't eat, sleep, think because it is all about him. I even told him that I pray to God to just take him away from my head and heart because the pain is just too much, I don't know if that was wise, but it's done.


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## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

Again, I am sorry to be blunt.

STOP telling your spouses all that extra information. If you keep on making them feel guilty for your sorrow, we are as guilty as they are, they will end up avoiding any further contact. Who wants to listen to a person that makes them feel like the worst person ever? nobody...
They want to listen to a person who is strong, changed or at least seems like it. It is hard but at least pretend...

It's your choice...

I am sorry if I am being honest but you are just hurting your relationships more than helping yourselves, start talking to your spouses when you have healed, when you WANT to talk to them not NEED to talk to them. If you need them you will start complaining, complain to somebody else. Here, your relatives, friends, etc NOT to them.


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

stbxhmaybe said it perfectly!


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## luv2ivy (May 18, 2010)

i know how you feel prelude i asked my ex if he was ever said that our marraige was over and he told me no that he stopped loving me along time ago gee instead of putting the knife in the back he went straight for the heart


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

well I feel worse now, but not because of what you said stbx but because of what happen, it's on another post.


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