# Hi everyone



## Maria6588 (Oct 5, 2018)

Hi thank you for the opportunity to talk to you. I'm writing because I feel like my relationship with my husband has deteriorated because he is gaslighting me by telling me I'm too sensitive and everything is a joke and I take it the wrong way and making me question reality. He has been using spiritual abuse abuse as well telling me he won't tell me what is bothering him about me, it's up to God to judge me. I stopped having sex with him after he told me he has been looking at porn which is the 3rd time he has admitted it or been caught. So then he sends me Bible quotes saying that Satan will get me if I don't have sex with him basically. I really don't know what to do because I feel like all of this is making me love him less and I want to get away but we have a 2 year old son and I am a full time student with no job. My husband pays all the bills and his family watches our son while I'm at school. Also I am very concerned about the way he treats my son, he is only 2 but my husband exerts his control over him with force and even my friends are concerned about leaving him alone with him. I'm really upset but to the rest of the world my husband is so perfect,they would blame me and call me crazy if I left. I'm so confused and lost. Thank you again for your help and time.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are you and your husband?

When you say that "my husband exerts his control over him with force", what do you mean? Could you give us some examples of situations that have happened?

You seem to allow your husband to define things. When he says that you are too senstaive or taht God will judge you, why do you believe him and let that be your reality? Could you give us some examples of situations where he tells you that you are too sensative?


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## Maria6588 (Oct 5, 2018)

Hi, I am 32 he is 27. I guess I do let what he says define my reality because he always ends a serious conversation with either, I'm too sensitive, maybe I should pray about it, or he basically doesn't talk to me. I guess I don't feel like I have a choice because we are married I have to believe him or else what? I tell him I know he is lying and he just scoffs and leaves the room, never talks to me about my concerns. Examples of him telling me I'm too sensitive...his family has a way of bringing people down as a way of bonding I guess? Is the only explanation I can think of to explain it. His sister would call me ugly, a hoe or tell me she won't put sunscreen on my disgusting back. His mom broke my baby's toy I bought for him, called my boobs uneven, and would do the baby's laundry but keep his clothes at her house. His dad hid at the shop we shared together and was waiting with a video camera to film me when I got there as if I was doing something I shouldn't be. His cousin said he saw my doppelganger in a porno and thought to himself, "so that's what she looks like" which he felt the need to tell me. His dad and aunt were stalking me on Instagram and bringing up the things I liked in the conversation but not mentioning Instagram. And I tell this to my husband and he says, you must be taking it wrong, maybe you're just to sensitive, have you tried praying about it? I've tried to have conversations with him about if they've ever said anything to him and he says no and then smirks on one side of his mouth. I feel like he's lying with every bone in my body but i feel helpless. He says things to me when no one else is around. He said, time flies when youre paying bills, and i said having fun. He said, remember that one time we tried to have fun and then you died? I got offended because I told him several times that I wished I was dead in regards to the way his family makes me feel. I asked him about the comment he made and was like what? Whoa you have to give me the context. So I told him what we were saying and he said, "what? I thought we were joking around! What we can't make jokes now? " in regards to our son when I say force I mean, if we are leaving and our son won't put on his shoes willingly, he will hold him down and force his shoes on even if he is screaming no stop it hurts. Like he doesn't care about my son, only putting his shoes on. If I if that makes sense. My son is so afraid of him. He has nightmares about my husband hitting him. I tell my husband he needs to take a child development class and he says maybe he'll read a book. I've never seen him read a book but now he keeps saying he wants to read this new diet book his coworker read.


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