# Husband Chats with other women



## Melancholy84 (Apr 30, 2012)

Hi, My husband and i have been married for 2 years. No kids at the moment. My question is " Is it okay for my husband to chat with other women and cyber sex with them" He says that that its just merely fun an entertainment for him. I know that this is just fun for him coz he is homely person. Work and back and only goes out with me(Weekend or weekday for dinner)


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## Melancholy84 (Apr 30, 2012)

Also, My husband likes going for massage. He goes once every month and usually takes the "special massage" where the massuer massages his private area. He told me before we got married that he tried it once but now i seem to figure it out that he is going. Is this also normal for guys? I am not sure if this is just for fun again? Please any guys out there please give some advice?


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

It is not ok for your husband to cyber sex with other women. If it were ok with you you wouldn't be asking the question. Cyber sex is still cheating and you should not allow it unless you are ok with agreeing to an open marriage.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

Melancholy84 said:


> Hi, My husband and i have been married for 2 years. No kids at the moment. My question is " Is it okay for my husband to chat with other women and cyber sex with them" He says that that its just merely fun an entertainment for him. I know that this is just fun for him coz he is homely person. Work and back and only goes out with me(Weekend or weekday for dinner)





Melancholy84 said:


> Also, My husband likes going for massage. He goes once every month and usually takes the "special massage" where the massuer massages his private area. He told me before we got married that he tried it once but now i seem to figure it out that he is going coz i hae checked his handphone and found that he had call the spa. I assume he called to make the appointment and he goes out a few hours after the call has been made. Is this also normal for guys? I am not sure if this is just for fun again? Please any guys out there please give some advice?


YOUR HUSBAND IS CHEATING ON YOU!!! THIS IS NOT OK!! TELL HIM TO STOP NOW OR PUT HIM AND HIS uppy:SH1T ON THE CURB!!!! 

SORRY but I do not allow for sh1t in my house bullsh1t included.


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## inferno2012 (May 3, 2012)

Its not ok for a married person to cyber sex or get their "private area" massaged. He is clearly cheating.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No, it's called cheating!

Your best move is to divorce him before you have any children. Find a man that respects you.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

You are the only person who can decide what you can live with. 

I would not tolerate either of these activities if he were my husband. There is no excuse for them and it is a choice he is making instead of working on how to have a more satisfactory sex life with you.

How would you describe your sex life? Would you say that you meet each others' needs, or is it one sided (he doesn't meet your needs, or you don't meet his). Often, cyber cheating leads men to lose interest in the bedroom, and it can take over their lives.

Please, no one flame me, I am just trying to understand what role sex plays in their marriage. It is not a cause in his choice to cheat, but it can give some insight into their dynamic.

Back to the "spa": just what body parts does the masseuse use for these 'private area body massages'?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Peuh! Your husband is paying for sexual favors from othe women. This is blatant disrespect for the marriage. But he did tell you about it, and you don't seem to have had a problem with it up until now, so I really don't know what more to tell you.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Talking is one thing, cybersex... no way. That is unhealthy for a marriage, especially if you mind. It shows a complete lack of respect for you, and a husband should have his sexual needs met by his wife if the marriage isn't open (though personally I think open marriages are playing with fire.... or maybe a howitzer).


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Please read my story (link is in my sig)

What your husband is doing is NOT OK.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> Back to the "spa": just what body parts does the masseuse use for these 'private area body massages'?


I've never even heard of that kind of a massage.......


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Gaia said:


> I've never even heard of that kind of a massage.......


It's often done with both parties horizontally, although it also works in hundreds of other positions...


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Melancholy84 said:


> Hi, My husband and i have been married for 2 years. No kids at the moment. My question is " Is it okay for my husband to chat with other women and cyber sex with them" He says that that its just merely fun an entertainment for him. I know that this is just fun for him coz he is homely person. Work and back and only goes out with me(Weekend or weekday for dinner)


He is a homely person? Oh, you mean he is introverted. Well these types of activities are not heatlthy for him. He has some real social challenges.
Maybe not silence of the lambs creepy yet but he is young right?

Most people would consider this cheating.

Chatting on FB with a friend about the weather is one thing.

Having cyber sex with someone else is a tad different.

I personally see this as cheating. But what have your guys agreed to? Is it ok for you to cyber sex with random guys in the net? Do you have a webcam show you put on for these guys?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Melancholy84 said:


> Also, My husband likes going for massage. He goes once every month and usually takes the "special massage" where the massuer massages his private area. He told me before we got married that he tried it once but now i seem to figure it out that he is going coz i hae checked his handphone and found that he had call the spa. I assume he called to make the appointment and he goes out a few hours after the call has been made. Is this also normal for guys? I am not sure if this is just for fun again? Please any guys out there please give some advice?


So he gets a happy ending huh?

It is not normal for a married man to have sexual activities with a woman not his wife. that said some couples have open marriages.

Do you get massages with happy endings? Do you go to a spa, get naked and have another maked person on top of you massaging your body?

Is hubby ok with this? Then again he may want to watch.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> It's often done with both parties horizontally, although it also works in hundreds of other positions...


That sounds like sex to me..... just saying....


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Linking your other thread on this topic:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...-up-late-chatting-other-woman.html#post712492



> Hi,
> 
> We have been married for sometime now and have been going out for many years prior to that. To be honest we have not made love coz initially i wasnt ready and then the passion and urge of making love just faded away till now. I know that is a huge problem but we are okay with it. My husband is a very nice and humble man and he told me that marriage is not all about sex.
> 
> ...


So he has never had sex with his wife. But he jerks off over the web for other women to see. 

Actually you can get an unullment as you have not consummated your marriage yet.

You have been together ten years! OMG.

So this is way more serious than it first sounded. You guys need professional help indeed.

Can we agree that it would be better if you guys could have sex with each other?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

wtf.... if you lose weight... then he'll have sex with you? But until then he will jerk off and screw other women to satisfy HIS needs ... the hell with yours? That sure as hell doesn't sound like a marriage.. it sounds more like your an item he will get to when he wants too...


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I'm sure it might be fun for him, but the question is - is it fun for you, too? His time spent online having cyber sex with other women is time he should be investing in you. Unless you're happy with the concept of an open marriage (because at the very least he's cheating emotionally), I would have a chat with him and draw up some boundaries.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

You don't realize this yet, but your husband is a jerk. You should divorce him. He is not treating you with any kind of respect or love. You deserve to be treated better than this.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, but, if your husband would rather have other women than be intimate with you, if you're depressed about this, then you can't just ignore the problem anymore. 

You should raise the issue with him and say "Either we go to marriage counseling to fix these problems + you quit your cheating and emotional neglect (telling you that you're too fat so he won't be intimate with you, while he is getting his jollies elsewhere is not okay) or, we get a divorce. Which one do you want?" And if he doesn't agree to fix this, please, please walk away. You deserve to be treated better than this.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

IMO, any form of sexual gratification outside of a relationship, that detracts from sexual gratification within the relationship, has to be cheating.


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Melancholy84 said:


> Hi, My husband and i have been married for 2 years. No kids at the moment. My question is " Is it okay for my husband to chat with other women and cyber sex with them" He says that that its just merely fun an entertainment for him. I know that this is just fun for him coz he is homely person. Work and back and only goes out with me(Weekend or weekday for dinner)


Is he ok with you doing the same thing? chatting with strange men online and having cybers with them?

you should ask him this and if he says ok you should do it and see how he likes that


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## JuliaP (Mar 21, 2011)

It's sounds like you have entered into an open marriage without knowing it.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

Melancholy84 said:


> Also, My husband likes going for massage. He goes once every month and usually takes the "special massage" _*where the massuer massages his private area.*_ He told me before we got married that he tried it once but now i seem to figure it out that he is going coz i hae _*checked his handphone and found that he had call the spa.*_ I assume he called to make the appointment and he goes out a few hours after the call has been made. Is this also normal for guys? I am not sure if this is just for fun again? Please any guys out there please give some advice?


What kind of a spa is this???? It should be put out of business ASAP :BoomSmilie_anim:


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

Melancholy84 said:


> Hi, My husband and i have been married for 2 years. No kids at the moment. My question is " Is it okay for my husband to *chat with other women and cyber sex with them*" He says that that its just merely fun an entertainment for him. _*I know that this is just fun for him coz he is homely person.*_ Work and back and only goes out with me(Weekend or weekday for dinner)


Are you serious???????


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## galian84 (May 7, 2012)

Uhh...cybersex? Getting a massage in his private area? Staying up late to chat with other women? I would never even stand for my boyfriend staying up late to chat with women, let alone the other two! And neither would he.

I think you two need to go into counseling or have a long, frank talk about this...it doesn't seem as though you're okay with it even though it's "merely fun and entertainment" for him.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Melancholy84 said:


> Hi, My husband and i have been married for 2 years. No kids at the moment. My question is " Is it okay for my husband to chat with other women and cyber sex with them" He says that that its just merely fun an entertainment for him. I know that this is just fun for him coz he is homely person. Work and back and only goes out with me(Weekend or weekday for dinner)


Oh, yes... it most certainly IS fun for him....


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