# Wife sending message to husband instead of lover by mistake



## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...t-to-husband-instead-of-lover-by-mistake.html

Police woman killed herself after sending text to husband instead of lover by mistake - very sad tale of infidelity in the UK.


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## mtn.lioness (Oct 29, 2013)

Sad...


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Talk about the Karma bus!


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## Lilly_daddy (Jul 4, 2009)

Just read it...wow!

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

We have that kind of wife's story, and her husband right in our midst.

I'm glad he handled it nicely. His wife must still be banging her head on a wall over her clumsiness and lack of skills at utilizing modern technology.


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

Not one syllable of judgement on her cheating in that article.

Just praise for how wonderful she was.

Nice.


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

All I gotta say is.... 

Damn, I need to move to Britain, they pay their first responders bank if they can afford Audi TT. 

I'm kinda p!ssed, not gonna lie. Gonna talk to my labor union 2morrow about this.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Goes to show how infidelity destroys peoples lives. 

~sammy


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

TheFlood117 said:


> All I gotta say is....
> 
> Damn, I need to move to Britain, they pay their first responders bank if they can afford Audi TT.
> 
> I'm kinda p!ssed, not gonna lie. Gonna talk to my labor union 2morrow about this.


In my opinion, no one is going to off themselves over a one nighter it is very sad.
No one wins


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

this is the kind of story I can't understand, if her husband and family was so important to her that life was meaningless without them, then why to risk them for some sex sessions?.

I can understant exit affairs and cases where the WSs are in the fog and want to leave their spouses for their AP. but these cases are the ones that make me realize that the whole infidelity matter can never be totally rationalized.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

manticore said:


> this is the kind of story I can't understand, if her husband and family was so important to her that life was meaningless without them, then why to risk them for some sex sessions?.
> 
> I can understant exit affairs and cases where the WSs are in the fog and want to leave their spouses for their AP. but these cases are the ones that make me realize that the whole infidelity matter can never be totally rationalized.


I'm thinking this gal had alot more wrong with her than just a cheating streak....she was probably deeply troubled on many levels.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

LostViking said:


> I'm thinking this gal had alot more wrong with her than just a cheating streak....she was probably deeply troubled on many levels.


:iagree:


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

TheFlood117 said:


> All I gotta say is....
> 
> Damn, I need to move to Britain, they pay their first responders bank if they can afford Audi TT.
> 
> I'm kinda p!ssed, not gonna lie. Gonna talk to my labor union 2morrow about this.


It doesn't say how old it is, nor what her husband earned.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

LostViking said:


> I'm thinking this gal had alot more wrong with her than just a cheating streak....she was probably deeply troubled on many levels.


probably, but there are other cases as badblood's and morturi's wives, fortunatly in these cases ended in just in unsucessfully attemps, but again they are a lot of people who is willing to risk too much for too Little.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

manticore said:


> probably, but there are other cases as badblood's and morturi's wives, fortunatly in these cases ended in just in unsucessfully attemps, but again they are a lot of people who is willing to risk too much for too Little.


She is dead I don't want to speculate but that is just me.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

At least she felt some form of guilt...


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

Um...am I supposed to feel bad for her?
If so, I will check back in when I do...

I DO feel sorry for her husband and kids...horrible story!


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

TheFlood117 said:


> All I gotta say is....
> 
> Damn, I need to move to Britain, they pay their first responders bank if they can afford Audi TT.
> 
> I'm kinda p!ssed, not gonna lie. Gonna talk to my labor union 2morrow about this.


Isn't an Audi like a KIA in Europe?


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

sinnister said:


> Isn't an Audi like a KIA in Europe?



I don't know. Audi's are expensive here. I drive a Charger supped up, but I'd like be able to afford an audi- I think the TT is about 40 grand it's there entry to mid range model in reality, not much really. I was just being sly. 

Audi's suck anyways. Get a beemer instead or a jag.

And just for you bro. 


Go Cowboys!!!!




Kidding, I fvcking hate the cowboys, almost. ALMOST as much as the Raiders.... Almost.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

A A woman is dead her husband and children are devastated. Keep the gloating down, OK? I mean what if her husband were to find this thread? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

No gloating here but I it struck me as odd, I think here in the US they would have named the AP. They spent a great deal of time about the husbands feelings of loss and the letters to the daughters. I think they could have just said a letters to her kids. Leave the names out of it.

They should have mentioned how devastating affairs can be on everyone involved


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

I dont think anyone really understand the humiliation an affair put people through. I'm a BS myself, so I dont know from her views, but just the emotional state of humiliation, and shame can be so great to face. I myself in all of my years have never ever experience these 2 emotion to such depth,until I went thur this. 

I sure view these two emotions so differently in all ways of life now. If anything I've discovered from my mess, and h affair, from friends now in my life who have come forward, and shared their stories, plus my time on TAM...,there is a lot of messed up marriages, & people living a lot of messed up lives... Don't know how or why we do it to ourselves?

~sammy


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

I wonder how that interloper feels now??? Do you think he's gonna apologize to the husband and her kids?

He bloody well ought to...

This is why you don't violate other people's homes or relationships... You never can estimate the damage that can come from it...


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

The Middleman said:


> Talk about the Karma bus!


And they're double deckers in the UK!


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

mahike said:


> No gloating here but I it struck me as odd, I think here in the US they would have named the AP. They spent a great deal of time about the husbands feelings of loss and the letters to the daughters. I think they could have just said a letters to her kids. Leave the names out of it.
> 
> They should have mentioned how devastating affairs can be on everyone involved


Right now this Cornwall police department and its head offiicals are swarming like bees doing damage control. 

She was a cop, the AP was a cop. If it was in Cornwall it was most likely a smaller precinct with only a handful of officers at most. That particular police precinct is looking real bad in the public eye right now. The AP, whomever he is, is most likely well known in the community and is feeling the heat on him. 

So instead of dwelling on the lurid misconduct of two of these two adulterous officers, the department is instead extolling the dead officer's virtues as a public servant, co-worker and employee. The spin is in full motion. Redirect the focus off the betrayed husband and children and onto the virtuous crime-fighting exploits of the local police. They could give a rat's azz about the officer's husband and kids.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Cornwall....

Now I'm hungry for a pasty.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

Allen_A said:


> I wonder how that interloper feels now??? Do you think he's gonna apologize to the husband and her kids?
> 
> He bloody well ought to...
> 
> This is why you don't violate other people's homes or relationships... You never can estimate the damage that can come from it...


Totally agree. Wonder how that guy sleeps at night?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

I hope the department canned his sorry azz.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

sinnister said:


> Isn't an Audi like a KIA in Europe?


No. They are generally high end cars. However, Audi drivers have a bad reputation for driving in an arrogant and very "me first" kind of a way.


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## Oldfaithful (Nov 27, 2013)

That was just the first day of her exposure. Wouldn't you think over time she would have revealed that their affair was going on a lot longer? That seems to be the pattern.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

sinnister said:


> Isn't an Audi like a KIA in Europe?


Audi TT is $40,000 USD. Can you spend that much on a KIA?


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Audi TT is $40,000 USD. Can you spend that much on a KIA?


Over the course of about 2-3 years....you betcha! And guess what....you've still got a POS.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

One cannot blame the OM for the suicide.

Mach, you're back. Good.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

TheFlood117 said:


> All I gotta say is....
> 
> Damn, I need to move to Britain, they pay their first responders bank if they can afford Audi TT.
> 
> I'm kinda p!ssed, not gonna lie. Gonna talk to my labor union 2morrow about this.


She wasn't a first responder, she was a police officer. And her husband was a businessman.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Audi TT is $40,000 USD. Can you spend that much on a KIA?


Shockingly, yes.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> One cannot blame the OM for the suicide.


Seriously? Protecting the OM? After this mess?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Allen_A said:


> Seriously? Protecting the OM? After this mess?


Wow, that is an interesting leap.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

it wasnt only a one time thing like the article said. her text to him was " "Thank you for a wonderful evening. Only wish we could do this more often"." not wish we could do this AGAIN it was MORE OFTEN. meaning wish my husband left more often.

that said is it a reason to ruin your kids life's by killing yourself NO! sad for them and her husband.


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## someone90 (May 31, 2013)

The Cro-Magnon said:


> Not one syllable of judgement on her cheating in that article.
> 
> Just praise for how wonderful she was.
> 
> Nice.


I know many people on this forum are bitter, but sometimes people need to lay off. She took her own life, I don't think dwelling on her cheating would be a great thing to do.


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## Oldfaithful (Nov 27, 2013)

someone90 said:


> I know many people on this forum are bitter, but sometimes people need to lay off. She took her own life, I don't think dwelling on her cheating would be a great thing to do.


What is the point? It would only compound the pain her family is feeling to go on about her cheating and how awful it was. Obviously she knew how awful it was.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

The whole thing is just so sad. So sad and so fvcking unneccesary.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

LostViking said:


> The whole thing is just so sad. So sad and so fvcking unneccesary.


:iagree:

Yes what else is there to say.


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## Singledude21 (Feb 21, 2013)

Damn, I understand being guilty and downright remorseful, but suicide? I just can't see suicide as someone's even irrational conclusions from an affair. Had to be more going on, wonder if she put in consideration her job security, financial stability and maybe even reputation in the force. Got to be more to this story, maybe she caught something.

But still, suicide? Jesus.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

The more I think about this story the more I think there were deeper issues we will never know we can speculate a great deal about this but that is all it would be is speculation

I feel a great deal of sympathy for the husband and the kids.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

mahike said:


> The more I think about this story the more I think there were deeper issues we will never know we can speculate a great deal about this but that is all it would be is speculation
> 
> I feel a great deal of sympathy for the husband and the kids.


....And for the town or community she worked in. 

I've travelled to the South coast of England many times. The towns and villages there are very tight-knit. Everyone knows everyone, and as a police woman she would have held a great deal of esteem in her community. I would imagine she was scared of the public pillorying she would have taken as well as the firends she would have lost.


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## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

The OM is not responsible for the suicide. The OM just doesn't care about others or marriage. 

This IS sad. Yes, she made some horrible choices, but I'm not going to say that this was karma. I don't believe people deserve death for cheating. And I doubt you do either. Her family is left to pick up the pieces.

Either she had some sort of mental breakdown, or there was "foul play". I imagine the husband is a huge suspect. 

Imagine if she did commit suicide, but there was evidence (circumstantial or otherwise) implicating the husband. So, not only has she cheated on him, and taken her own life, but made him a suspect in the murder.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

I think I personally find this story really hard to respond to. It is tragic for all the people involved. Its only obvious she did not think things through before she put herself in this horrible spot. So often do people do this to themselves. They justify it in so many ways. 

I don't think she deserved to die. I feel a sense of loss for her husband and her kids. 

As to the OM I hope they fire him. I hope his buddies at the police station properly thank him for all the wonderful attention they are going to get. 

Clay


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

My guess is this wasn't just about cheating on her husband that she killed herself. My guess is she would have had trouble a work because it was her and another officer.

And they say PC Crocker. Is that Police Chief? If so, then ya, she wasn't going to keep her job unless the captains looked the other way.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

At least her husband can mourn her. Most guys have their hearts broken and can't even mourn the loss of the wife they knew.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

i disagree with all this they need to fire the om or he is somehow to blame for her suicide...im sorry none of this is his fault 0. my ex cheated on me never did i blame the guy, never did i want to beat him up. is the om a worthless pos YES but he only got as far with her as she wanted him. 

for all we know the om thought they we seperated or divorced.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

terrence4159 said:


> for all we know the om thought they we seperated or divorced.


That is the ONLY circumstance that would allow the OM to walk away unscathed.

Not gonna argue about it. That's just me.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

vellocet said:


> And they say PC Crocker. Is that Police Chief? If so, then ya, she wasn't going to keep her job unless the captains looked the other way.


"Police Constable." Equivalent to a police officer. A beat cop. Saying "PC Crocker" is akin to saying "Officer Crocker."

(Thank you, Wikipedia and even more so to _Torchwood_'s PC Andy for giving me that nugget of info.)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Differentguy said:


> Either she had some sort of mental breakdown, or there was "foul play". I imagine the husband is a huge suspect.
> 
> Imagine if she did commit suicide, but there was evidence (circumstantial or otherwise) implicating the husband. So, not only has she cheated on him, and taken her own life, but made him a suspect in the murder.


That's the rub. The poor guy is going to be dragged through the wringer for a manslaughter investigation, while at the same time mourning his wife's death and dealing with the pain of her infidelity. There will most likely be many in the community who will think he murdered her. Doesn't matter what the inquest comes up with... the court of public opinion holds sway over all. I wouldn't be surprised if the husband has to move himself and the kids to a new locale. 

Ultimately, she was selfish. Selfish by having the affair, selfish by denying her children their mother....

All for a fling.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

An another OM gets off without any consequences again.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

someone90 said:


> I know many people on this forum are bitter, but sometimes people need to lay off. She took her own life, I don't think dwelling on her cheating would be a great thing to do.


She was stupid to have an affair.

Stupider to commit hari kari.

OM is not responsible for her making her bad decisions. She was an adult and made her choices.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

manticore said:


> this is the kind of story I can't understand, if her husband and family was so important to her that life was meaningless without them, then why to risk them for some sex sessions?.
> 
> I can understant exit affairs and cases where the WSs are in the fog and want to leave their spouses for their AP. but these cases are the ones that make me realize that the whole infidelity matter can never be totally rationalized.


I think the story is rather clear. She accidently outed herself and threw herself on the mercy of her husband. From what was written they clearly had issues.

Finding no mercy and clearly no hope of mercy, despondent and desolate, she couldn't face life.

Yes, there are things worse than an affair.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

sidney2718 said:


> I think the story is rather clear. She accidently outed herself and threw herself on the mercy of her husband. From what was written they clearly had issues.
> 
> Finding no mercy and clearly no hope of mercy, despondent and desolate, she couldn't face life.
> 
> Yes, there are things worse than an affair.


see rereading, analyzing and comparing the situation with cases here on TAM I am guessing it was the other way around, she and her husband probably had a happy marriage and a good relationship and she entered in the middle age crisis and wanted a Little of thrill and validation from other men bacause she felt she was getting old.

see, lets suppose they had and horrible marriage and yes she send this message to her husband instead of her lover:

*"Thank you for a wonderful evening. Only wish we could do this more often"*

of course for the husband this message is clear, but as legal evidence of infidelity this words by themselves don't prove real infidelity. 

so if the relationship was bitter, she already had someone else, and there were no hard evidence of infidelity, what she had to fear?. Nothing really normally in this cases the woman once is caught, just divorce, take the husband to the cleaners and go and live her romance with the lover telling everyone that they began the realtionship after she divorced from her husband (as all cheaters do)

I mean seriously, if the wife denies everything, how much evidence can the husband collect in the one day he was in town since he received the message? 

the message and a rumor of infidelity as long as she denies everything is not enough to make her lose her job or be isolated by everyone.(she just have to accuse him of controlling and crazy jealous).


In the other hand if their relationship was good and the only real threat at the moment was she losing her husband and family then reviewing cases like that in TAM we see similar reactions:

Oldsmitted, Badblood, Morituri, all of them thought they had good marriages (and by their wives affirmation that was the case), they had alot of sex with their XWs, they were emotianally close to them, and still the wives hitted the 40's and had the MLC and had affairs, all of the husbands discovered the affairs and were unforgiven and wanted divorce, and yes all of them had mental break downs and two of them tried to kill themselves (real attemps not attemps to manipulate the husband) and the other was interned several weeks for the mental break down.

that is my guess, but it hits the profile much better than the resentful XW in a bad marriage where they blameshift the affair responsability in the husband and deny the affair until the end (which this woman could have done without problems).


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Poor children and husband. Not only did they lose their loved one, but now they have to know that the last two things she did was betray them, and then take herself away from them permanently. And the entire town, heck, world knows. Talk about mental scars.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

This is a sad story, but none the less a very common one. 

Statistically when men and women work closely together, doctors/nurses, pilots/fligh attendants, Army, Navy, Airforce, Police etc the chances of affairs happening are higher.
Its life.

The Police will have been called to the scene of this and an investigation done. As the Coroner returned a verdict of suicide this means that there was no evidence to suggest the involvment of anyone else in the death. She took her own life for whatever reason.

Why should the OM lose his job? He did not commit a criminal offence. Here were two adults acting as adults...albeit with a terrible ending for all concerned.


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## looking for clarity (Aug 12, 2013)

I think that police officers upheld the law and so internally hold themselves up to high standards. I think she couldn't live with the fact that people would realize she was not what she seemed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

askari said:


> Statistically when men and women work closely together, doctors/nurses, pilots/fligh attendants, Army, Navy, Airforce, Police etc the chances of affairs happening are higher.
> Its life.


Cops cheating with other cops seems to be very common. It must be the shared closeness, sharing danger, etc. It's like freaking _Days of Our Lives_ in our department. 

One of my trainers called his female partner his "work wife", and she called him her "work husband". I had never ever heard that term before. Then I googled it, it comes under different terms, like office wife/husband, office spouse.

Work spouse - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It's ironic, that in this day and age of sexual harassment suits, putting people through training to enforce the concept of office affairs being detrimental to the morale of staff and the company in general, we have these office spouse relationships going on.

If my fWW ever told me that some dude was her office husband, R would be removed from the table and it would be straight to D. I wouldn't care if she banged him or not, especially in light of her previous affair.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

"It's ironic, that in this day and age of sexual harassment suits, putting people through training to enforce the concept of office affairs being detrimental to the morale of staff and the company in general, we have these office spouse relationships going on."

Not ironic....just shows that we are human!!

Cops have work partners. Political correctness aside, whilst all cops are trained to the same standard, there are parts of police work that women are generally better at dealing with, likewise for men. So you often get male/female cop teams.

They spend a lot of time together, usually in the close confines of a car...they look out for each other. 
None of us is perfect....affairs will happen.

Suggesting the OM get fired from his job is what made me respond to this.


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## dgtal (Jun 11, 2010)

manticore said:


> this is the kind of story I can't understand, if her husband and family was so important to her that life was meaningless without them, then why to risk them for some sex sessions?.
> 
> I can understant exit affairs and cases where the WSs are in the fog and want to leave their spouses for their AP. but these cases are the ones that make me realize that the whole infidelity matter can never be totally rationalized.


I recommend reading Michelle Langley's Women Infidelity I & II
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

Differentguy said:


> Police woman killed herself after sending text to husband instead of lover by mistake - Telegraph
> 
> Police woman killed herself after sending text to husband instead of lover by mistake - very sad tale of infidelity in the UK.


Coward


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Numbersixxx said:


> Coward


I think it is worse than that.

She met her husband when she was 15. Probably never with any other men.

So she got selfish. She did the old "what he does not know about will never hurt him" and she cheated.

So she sends the text incorrectly.

She realizes she just cheated on the only man that was ever with her until the night before.

Worse than that she cheated on the only boy who became the only man who is her best friend in life. And she screwed him over.

And she knew it.

So she took her life. She probably never thought he would ever forgive her but worse than that I do not think she would ever be able to forgive herself.

Was her suicide a selfish act? yes. The ultimate selfish act.

But in her twisted mind she probably thought she was administering her own punishment that she felt she deserved.

Coward? Maybe. Selfish? Yes.

Say a prayer for her husband and kids.

HM


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