# possible divorce



## sneaky789 (Jun 13, 2013)

Where to begin, I am sure you all have heard this story about 100 times. My wife and I have been together 9 years and married for almost 7 years. We have two kids 4 and 7, as well as a 15 year old nephew who has been living with us for 5 years now. its her sister's kid. Marriage has been up and down with all the stresses in our life. I have bought into my family business, which is a large business. 7 locations over 100 employees. I am a GM/ owner. she works there 3 days a week, and not at the same place. We live in a nice house, have cars, everything we need and more. so here are the problems. I am 33 and she is 35.

About a year and a half ago, I went on a business trip. At the time I was really in a place where I wasn't sure I wanted to be with her anymore. I met another woman, a little younger also married with unhappiness problems. we talked, nothing happened. She lived in another state, and we kept talking thru email. it was about 2 months. Once I could tell she was starting to have feelings for me. I ended it. Unfortunately my wife say the email or emails at the end. I swore up and down nothing happened, don't think she ever really believed me. I never contacted her again. We were fine for awhile...
About 5 weeks ago my wife came back from a family trip to Oregon with her mom, sister, etc... and our youngest. The day after she pulled me to the side after the kids went to sleep and said she wasnt sure if she wanted to be with me anymore, and gave me the infamous line, I love you but, I am not sure I am in love with you anymore. she said she has been faking it for awhile... and maybe its her and she thinks she might be going through a midlife crisis.. So my first reaction was what all the floored husbands do and told her I would fight for her and tried reasoning and telling her I would change, etc.... She also told me she had done what I did and talked with another guy, and even took it a step further and went to meet him, but couldn't follow thru with it because of the promises she made to me. She wanted some space and time to think about what she wanted. She wanted to go on some drive to clear her head for the night five days later. So I obliged. Two weeks passed and she told me she wanted to try a trial separation. Two nights I was gone, two nights she was gone, other nights all of us at the house together as a family. So I got suspicious while still doing the smothering loving thing... I looked at her phone one night and found out that so called drive was to meet this guy she had supposedly stopped talking to. I also found a bunch of sexting stuff on her phone with him. I confronted her. She claimed that it wasnt love just lust, who really knows... she claims to have ended it and that he was also married and working on his marriage. so we kept going with the separation. I kept snooping. I had just recently bought her a brand new truck 50k none the less. Which has onstar! found out on one night during the separation she meet the guy again due to where her truck was, a hotel. Called her out again, claims she met him for closure and nothing happened. he had two separate queen beds and the slept apart. Dont worry I am not in denial about what really happened. Since then I have no evidence of any contact. That was a few weeks ago. I did email his wife that next day from the hotel meeting, once I found out who he was. My wife told me that was a low blow, I said oops.
Since then we went to Las Vegas together with friends, planned along time ago for birthdays. We had fun. We dont really fight ever. We have seen a MC a few times, but she just told him a week and a half ago she needs three weeks of time and space to decide what she wants to do. Its really hard doing the 180 with her when we are both at the house dealing with kids all the time. When I am not with her, work or nights she or me is gone, I keep no contact. When at the house she hugs me goodbye, kisses me, etc... Its really confusing and I dont know what I want at this point. I told her she should leave until she figures out what she wants, but then accused me of trying to take the kids from her. So she wants her space, but how do we do that in the same house. no one wants to leave the kids or be away from them. Really confusing situation and need advice.

lowdown...
-I still love her, even though pissed
-she isn't sure she still loves me
-not sure she still isn't talking to this guy
-Not sure what she wants
-this three weeks of space is BS, she should know what she wants already
-she drinks alot
- seems like she is getting best of both worlds, I am a very good provider (financially) and have been busting my balls around the house to show change.
- everyone around me says to leave inc my parents. they say she has been verbally abusive to me our whole relationship and everyone bites their tongue.
-I am a caretaker submissive type, she is very agressive heart on her sleeve type
- we both cheated somewhat


----------



## sneaky789 (Jun 13, 2013)

oh yeah...

this other guy is a pilot who lives in Texas, currently divorced but moved back in with his wife. Only comes to my city once a week..


----------



## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

She has emotionally checked out of your marriage and is simply using you to support her lifestyle. She is lying and will continue to cheat until she finds someone else she feels like marrying, at which time she will divorce you.


----------



## sneaky789 (Jun 13, 2013)

I know this sounds hopeful, but there is alot that makes me think this isn't the case... problem is I am at the point were I dont know if I want this, I do still love her, but only want to be with her if she wants to... But how do I get her out of my house without starting some huge fight and then legal hassles ensuing. I am meeting with a lawyer Monday, to see my options. But they warned me not to make threats of kicking her out or doing anything drastic. But I cant be in the house with her. Seeing her is what makes me turn to a pushover and seem desperate. But I also dont want to leave my house or my kids... thats the tough part


----------

