# don't try to make her love you.... move on!!



## MBJOE (Nov 2, 2008)

Reading all the sad story's makes me even feel worst about my position. I have known my wife since 15 , now I'm 38 with a 15 year old son. I filed for a divorce in June of 2008. The hardship dealing with a cheater is overwhelming.My take on this is you can't make someone love you and you will never totally get over it!!! all is lost once it happened. My wife never worked ,so this is a very expensive life lessen for me to say the least. The reason this happens far too much , is because there is no accountability for such actions. How is it fair in PA that someone cheats and ruins a marriage and they come out on top financially. My soon to be x is going to take the house , cds and half my 401k.. and to top it off , gets paid alimony for 4 years at 4,000 a month!!! Where the hell is karma in my case!! This would not happen to so many of us if the laws were different. You cheat , you lose everything. That is how it should be.. She cheats and I loss everything!! no wonder this is so common, what is there to loss , right? Well for all that have experienced this it does get better, You will find someone new that loves you for you... Stay strong!! You will be a better person in the long run...


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

4 years will go by fast. Then she will sink. She had better save her money because it will be walmart after that. You will heal and find someone.


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## DB in PA (Feb 25, 2009)

yes..understand your bitterness. live here too..why can't the cheater be held accountable for the lost relationship and get nothing..afterall they cheated, not you.
They should be liable for the loss of the relationship and not rewarded simply because they depended on the other for income!!
good luck


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## findingpeace (Mar 14, 2009)

God bless you my friend the pain from infedelity is said to be far worse than death itself. once you die pain is gone. but the pain from this can linger for years cheaters are the most selfish people there are thinking only about themselves I wish it was against human law cheat go to jail


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## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

I believe I would carry my ass to North Carolina before the divorce!

I am happy to reside in "Hazzard County"

If I divorce my wife over her infidelity, she gets to leave with exactly what she came with. SHE would get to pay ME alimony. I would get the children and SHE would get to make Child Support payments.

I even get to sue the other man for Alienation Of Affection... Average judgment is $250,000.00 awarded by our fine state! (Hey, can you sleep with him 3 more times so I can go for a cool million? LOL!) He might not be able to pay, but I would have one fine bachelor pad! (and YOU won't be living there either!)

'preciate it! Youn's good people!

(And they say Southerners are slow! HA!)


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

HA we are all waiting on Karma! dont worry I had to take a break to cause its hard reading story after story you lose alot of hope in love. BUT for the most part we are all human.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

moogvo said:


> I believe I would carry my ass to North Carolina before the divorce!
> 
> I am happy to reside in "Hazzard County"
> 
> ...


Is this true?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Is this true?


One of the few states where it is still true, apparently.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> One of the few states where it is still true, apparently.


If it represents true parity in marriage were the betrayer doens't get benefitted, then that's where people need to be married who still believe in marriage this day and age.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

like they say why is divorce so expensive......because IT'S WORTH IT


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

moogvo said:


> I believe I would carry my ass to North Carolina before the divorce!
> 
> I am happy to reside in "Hazzard County"
> 
> ...


Unless you have some special legal counsel that most aren't privy to, this is not wholly true within NC as I have been told by several legal counsel. I am also from NC and have talked to several lawyers as has my wife as we are going through actions currently. Within NC, you can sue for Alienation of Affection (AA) and Criminal Conversation (CC), as well as Adultery is against state law and a punishable offense. However, the trials are costly and their is no guarantee of damages at a certain level. As the courts become more progressive they are viewing these cases as more frivolous and the retainer fees for lawyers are increasing. I was told by several lawyers that since the views are changing (within the last several years the justice system and State have tried to strike down these laws, yet the people have still upheld them) this creates a disparaging difference in the legal system. Since by law there is no defense to the above charges, if they are proven true, then it is a automatic win for the plaintiff, however lots of the damages awarded have not amounted to enough to cover the cost of the retainer and pending lawsuit (hence why lawyers are requiring large retainers and not taking a percentage of the damages awarded).

Also within the state it is a no-fault state. The divorce would be a standard 50/50 finding, with the usual for alimony, child support, etc. The only thing that infidelity proof and charges on the divorce decree does is immediately make the offending (wayward) spouse ineligible for alimony, the rest still stands. The state is not any more for the protection of the family as any other state is, except in the cases of allowing the betrayed to sue for AA and CC, and the state can bring criminal charges up on Adultery, although that is not very common.

If someone else here knows otherwise than I have stated (as told by several lawyers, and two on retainer, the wife's and mine) please let me know so that I can have my attorney pursue that means. This state doesn't even allow for earlier divorce means (must be legally and physically separated for 1 year before divorces are awarded).


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

MBJOE,

I have a similar tale. My EXW never worked. She didn't cook or clean and just liked to party way too much. She was ok at home or so I thought but looking back I am maybe a bit jaded.

I have to pay 3 years of alimony, have to sell my house and pay for child support even for kids who spend their time with me most of the time.

Is it fair. She cheated on me, took 1/2 my 401K, stole money, had sex with multiple neighbors and I don't get to see my kids on half the holidays...

No it's not fair. I sleep on sleeping bags on the floor although I made a ton of money last year. I don't have time to even watch tv. I run to kids practices non stop or work all the time...

It's worth it. I am very close with my kids now. They respect me for being strong and look to me as an example of who they can be. I have met a beautiful girl and when I downsize my house, I will be in a lot less debt.

When the kids get older, they will remember al of the effort and sacrifices I made for them. the dinners I cooked, times I played ball, helped them with their homework and they will remember I slept on the floor so I could spend money on things for them.

My buddies made fun of me tonight because I told them that when my girlfriend comes over she sleeps on the floor with me. My boys look to her for the hugs she gives them and the love they don't get from their mom. So I can't afford finer things as much and I sleep on the floor. I have my children's respect. She may have come out ahead financially but I got the much better deal!


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Ummm...hate to break it to ya's but this thread died 4 years ago...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

SomedayDig said:


> Ummm...hate to break it to ya's but this thread died 4 years ago...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes, but his four years of paying should now be over! and living the good life...


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