# Maybe it's time...



## blondebombshell (May 2, 2011)

My husband and I have dealt with many issues since becoming a couple. We always said that we would try our best to make things work but it seems like things just cannot work. We both have 2 different ideas of what trying our best means, I suppose. We've never had a problem with cheating but the problems that we've had were about porn, finances, alcohol and drug use. I thought for a long time that if I could change him then things would work. Unfortunately, all I did was to make him resent me. I have been working on myself as much as I can. I've been reading different things on this forum as well as reading different marriage books. I suggested that he read with me and he shot my idea down quickly. Today we got into an argument and I told him that I didn't trust him, he immediately told me that the conversation was over and that he was leaving me. After that he proceeded to tell me not to talk to him, while he told me that he hoped I found someone better than him and someone that I could trust. I asked him why he always had to bring up me finding someone else and he really didn't have an answer. He told me that things are over between us and he's said this so many times, I feel like maybe it's time that I don't go running back. Maybe it's time that I leave. How do people tell when enough is enough? Please help.


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## rebootingnow (May 3, 2011)

You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do, so you have to decide for yourself if its time and then you set your agenda of what you want to do. 

For me it was my wife cheated and I confronted her. Then she said she needed to have some space and possibly more PA/EA's, to "Find myself." I'm not open to a open marriage, so I pressed for a either/or decision. 

I wanted to work on the marriage, but she didn't, so I had to come to terms with that. Its much better in many regards, but its still smarts. I have moments when I have mini panic attacks, punch the air, or have a one man pity party.

But knowing I am moving in a direction of my choosing has offered a lot of stability and sanity. 

I wish you well on your journey.


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