# Women Are More Likely to Cheat Than Men



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

[Women crave sexual variety more than men do, and wives are often cheating for sex because they are in orgasm-less marriages. I suspect that many wives’ affairs and “low libido” is primarily because the sex isn’t fun and/or isn’t orgasmic.— CB]

Science is finding that women struggle more than men when it comes to staying faithful in relationships.

“Even when your marriage is good, you still miss that rush of feeling so excited you can’t eat or sleep when you’re having such an intense time emotionally and sexually with a new person. That’s what I kept going after, and what I couldn’t say no to.”

That’s how Annika*, 45, from Melbourne, describes her experiences with cheating, and she’s far from alone. According to a growing body of research, many women in long-term relationships are sexually adventurous and have secret lovers.

The view that it’s mostly men who cheat because their partners lose interest in sex is outdated. Science says that it’s actually women who struggle more with monogamy because they get bored in the bedroom. Women crave sexual variety and while some stifle their desire, others will be unfaithful.

Wednesday Martin, an anthropologist and author of “Untrue,” refers to this new research as “the great correction.” Martin interviewed dozens of sociologists, sex researchers and anthropologists for her book on female infidelity and says the sad, sorry picture painted of the female libido is grossly wrong. It is alive and kicking — and eager to be satisfied.

“The new research is correcting false notions that women have lesser libidos, that women are more naturally monogamous and that it’s easier for women to partner for life,” explains Martin. “Women don’t like sex less [than men] — but they do get bored of sexual sameness.”

While males may have higher levels of spontaneous desire, women take the lead for responsive or triggered desire.

“Spontaneous desire is when you suddenly think, ‘It would be nice to have sex.’ It comes over you like hunger or thirst,” says Martin. “Responsive or triggered desire occurs when something suggests the idea of sex to you — you’re watching or reading something, or a partner initiates a sexual encounter — and you get turned on. For that type of desire, women’s libidos are every bit as strong as men’s. We’ve internalized this idea that men are the randier sex and that’s untrue.”

The reasons women cheat

Martin says the myth that women cheat for emotional reasons while men cheat for sexual reasons is also being overturned. She cites research by Missouri State University on a group of women who used the Ashley Madison website specifically to cheat.

[This research] explodes several of our most dearly held notions about female infidelity: that women cheat only when they are unhappy in their marriages; that unlike men, they seek emotional connection, not sexual gratification; and that women just ‘stumble’ into affairs,” says Martin.

“The women studied went on the site, created a profile, vetted candidates, met them in person and ‘auditioned’ them. This was a very intentional process. They wanted to find partners for sex. They reported being in sexless or orgasm-less marriages and they simply wanted what they couldn’t get at home. But most were otherwise happily partnered or married, and these affairs were a way for them to remain in their primary relationships. So, there goes the myth that women who cheat are unhappily married.”

Another critical piece of research from Dr. Marta Meana at the University of Nevada found that “institutionalization” in a long-term partnership dampens women’s sexual desire more than men’s. Men who have regular sex with their partners are more satisfied sexually and with their relationship, but it’s not the same for the women, she says.

“Now sex researchers are entertaining the possibility that women simply need variety and novelty of sexual experience more than men do,” Martin says.









Women are more likely to cheat than men – here’s why


Science is finding that women struggle more than men when it comes to staying faithful in relationships.




nypost.com






Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

A lot of people cheat because it’s exciting and it’s new and it’s a little scary because of the fear of getting caught. The spouse at home can’t compete. 
You don’t need to read a book to understand this.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CraigBesuden said:


> [Women crave sexual variety more than men do, and wives are often cheating for sex because they are in orgasm-less marriages. I suspect that many wives’ affairs and “low libido” is primarily because the sex isn’t fun and/or isn’t orgasmic.— CB]
> 
> Science is finding that women struggle more than men when it comes to staying faithful in relationships.
> 
> ...


The title of the article you posted is grossly misleading. Nowhere in the article or the others it links to is there a claim that women are more likely to cheat than men.

_The survey found that the people most likely to stray were male, but that women are not exempt, either. *25 per cent of those who admitted to cheating were male, compared to 13 per cent of females surveyed.* Cheating in relationship: The fidelity statistic is higher then you think (bodyandsoul.com.au) _​​_"According to Sexual Health Australia (SHA), around 70 per cent of all marriages experience an affair. *SHA report 60 per cent of men and 45 per cent of women* were willing to say that an affair had occurred sometime in their marriage. " Should you tell a stranger their partner is cheating? (bodyandsoul.com.au) _​


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Completely disagree with this post. I don't personally know many women that have cheated on their spouse, but of the women I do hear about, they usually do so because their husband's treat them like s*** for many years, and then the husband wants to play the victim, blame the wife for everything, and be completely delusional as to the real reasons why their spouse then did what they did... etc. etc. You know how the story goes. I'm not saying there aren't bad women out there who do this to good husbands, this is just most women that I know of, not in my circle, but circle of friends, etc.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

GC1234 said:


> Completely disagree with this post. I don't personally know many women that have cheated on their spouse, but of the women I do hear about, they usually do so because their husband's treat them like s*** for many years, and then the husband wants to play the victim, blame the wife for everything, and be completely delusional as to the real reasons why their spouse then did what they did... etc. etc. You know how the story goes. I'm not saying there aren't bad women out there who do this to good husbands, this is just most women that I know of, not in my circle, but circle of friends, etc.


Take a look at my post above. The title of the thread is not supported by the article the OP posted. Not sure what the goal is here.


----------



## BoSlander (5 mo ago)

As per Donovan Sharpe, "_women have sausage thrown at them every second of the day. I would be very surprised if the infidelity numbers for women weren't way higher than is publicized_."


----------



## BoSlander (5 mo ago)

GC1234 said:


> Completely disagree with this post. I don't personally know many women that have cheated on their spouse, but of the women I do hear about, they usually do so because their husband's treat them like s*** for many years[...]


Read what you just wrote and tell me that you don't find your own assertion to be weird, to say the least.

Cheating is a choice. No one is holding a gun to the potential cheater's head forcing them to cheat. Same as staying married in an unhappy pairing.

What cheaters DO do, once they've monkey-branched into another relationship, is attempt to re-write the marriage history/vows so as to contextualize their cheating and give it a morally righteous place.

Cheating *IS* wrong. There isn't anything remotely morally righteous to it. If you're unhappy in your marriage, leave it.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

GC1234 said:


> Completely disagree with this post. I don't personally know many women that have cheated on their spouse, but of the women I do hear about, they usually do so because their husband's treat them like s*** for many years, and then the husband wants to play the victim, blame the wife for everything, and be completely delusional as to the real reasons why their spouse then did what they did... etc. etc. You know how the story goes. I'm not saying there aren't bad women out there who do this to good husbands, this is just most women that I know of, not in my circle, but circle of friends, etc.


I'm not even going to justify this post with a response other then to say you need a better circle of friends.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


EleGirl said:



The title of the article you posted is grossly misleading. Nowhere in the article or the others it links to is there a claim that women are more likely to cheat than men.

Click to expand...

*🤣 I just KNEW that statement had to be phony. That'll be the DAY _'women crave sexual variety more than men.'_ 🤣 🤣


----------



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Okay, my bad. The NY Post links to a “growing body of research” but the linked information does not support the contention of the article itself (that women cheat more than men).


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

I know five woman that have cheated on their husbands I know one husband that has cheated on his wife.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> 🤣 I just KNEW that statement had to be phony. That'll be the DAY _'women crave sexual variety more than men.'_ 🤣 🤣


And, if it were to happen it will be impossible to miss.

Civilization will become utter chaos, and will soon crumble.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anecdotally, I've been witness to far more women cheating but I'm convinced the rates have always been closer to equal with variations influenced by culture.


----------



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Anecdotally, I've been witness to far more women cheating but I'm convinced the rates have always been closer to equal with variations influenced by culture.


I think women are now getting caught. Women are naturally much better at cheating and not getting caught. (For example, wives prefer to cheat with married men who are incentivized to always keep it secret, while men prefer the single women.) But technology changed everything. A spouse constantly on their phone, changing the passcode, hiding the phone from you, etc., makes the other spouse suspicious. The betrayed spouse gets into the phone (or messages pop up on a connected iPad), uses tracking devices, turns on location tracking, etc. …. It’s much easier to get noticed acting wrongly with phones and apps, and the betrayed spouse today can get clear proof of the affair. A married AP just means that two marriages blow up instead of one. I think the cheating is about the same but women are getting caught now.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

BoSlander said:


> Read what you just wrote and tell me that you don't find your own assertion to be weird, to say the least.
> 
> Cheating is a choice. No one is holding a gun to the potential cheater's head forcing them to cheat. Same as staying married in an unhappy pairing.
> 
> ...


No one is saying it isn't wrong.


Numb26 said:


> I'm not even going to justify this post with a response other then to say you need a better circle of friends.


You should probably re-read my post. It says I don't personally know anyone. Please Re-Read! Thanks!


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

I don't know if they cheat more but they certainly cheat as much as men. Surveys have borne this out over the past couple decades.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

SCDad01 said:


> I know five woman that have cheated on their husbands I know one husband that has cheated on his wife.


there ya go


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

I'm pretty sure it's easier for women to cheat. And they are much better at keeping secrets than men are. So if you do the math, it all kinda makes sense, methinks.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Longtime Hubby said:


> I'm pretty sure it's easier for women to cheat. And they are much better at keeping secrets than men are. So if you do the math, it all kinda makes sense, methinks.


7 year itch... it's a thing.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> 7 year itch... it's a thing.


no doubt about it. And we are married 28 years, so if my math is right ... 7 times 4 = itchy, me and her. hmmmm


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> I don't know if they cheat more but they certainly cheat as much as men. Surveys have borne this out over the past couple decades.


Agreed.
Statistics are showing that women are cheating as much as men and maybe even more, especially in western countries.
It`s never been easier for wives to cheat in this technological age of the internet, social media, dating sites, dating apps and cell phones.
A lot of this is being strongly influenced by the feminists with their so-called empowerment for women with their rhetoric. In theary what the feminists are preaching is equality for women, but in practice it means reverting women to take masculine roles in society.
These days it is not uncommon for wives to start cheating and become bored in relationships within the first year of their marriages.
No need to believe what I am saying, do the research online for yourselves.
One form of proof is that 80% of divorces are initiated by wives, in legal systems that mostly favour the women in divorce cases especially if there are children involved.
And as I have said many times on these forums., as a guy, if I were young and single again, I`d never consider getting married today.

.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

In my family/social circle it's about even. Was just talking about this with my son last night. He's getting married this weekend and we were talking about cheating and I filled him in on the dark history of family/friends he was never aware of as he grew up. 

I thought it was important for him to see that people he's known his whole life aren't really what he thinks they are, that people are capable of things he would never guess at and that it's wise to never place anyone on a pedestal.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

gameopoly5 said:


> Agreed.
> Statistics are showing that women are cheating as much as men and maybe even more, especially in western countries.
> It`s never been easier for wives to cheat in this technological age of the internet, social media, dating sites, dating apps and cell phones.
> A lot of this is being strongly influenced by the feminists with their so-called empowerment for women with their rhetoric. In threary what the feminists are preaching is equality for women, but it practice it means reverting women to take masculine roles in society.
> ...


Many (not all- call off the firing squad) women just want to be princess for a day. The marriage part, meh...


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Not said:


> In my family/social circle it's about even. Was just talking about this with my son last night. He's getting married this weekend and we were talking about cheating and I filled him in on the dark history of family/friends he was never aware of as he grew up.
> 
> I thought it was important for him to see that people he's known his whole life aren't really what he thinks they are, that people are capable of things he would never guess at and that it's wise to never place anyone on a pedestal.


Good advice and congratulations!🎉


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Not said:


> In my family/social circle it's about even. Was just talking about this with my son last night. He's getting married this weekend and we were talking about cheating and I filled him in on the dark history of family/friends he was never aware of as he grew up.
> 
> I thought it was important for him to see that people he's known his whole life aren't really what he thinks they are, that people are capable of things he would never guess at and that it's wise to never place anyone on a pedestal.


"i'm only human, born to make mistakes" - Human League


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Many (not all- call off the firing squad) women just want to be princess for a day. The marriage part, meh...


Yes, want to feel wanted and appreciated. Perhaps not getting that from hubby any more.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

years ago, my wie was always going into work on Saturday. Too tired that night for fun. I wondered and asked. She got very mad. Kinda felt like Billy the Bard said, "doth protesteth too much" I don't know. To this day, I kinda just wonder if she was fooling around with someone. Denied it. but ...


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

The social stigma against women cheating — with all that involved — once kept many women in line. That’s gone now so I would say it’s at least equal at this point.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Openminded said:


> The social stigma against women cheating — with all that involved — once kept many women in line. That’s gone now so I would say it’s at least equal at this point.


Also think it's easier now for cheating to happen. I've had a couple chances myself. Did not cash in. But the opportunity presented itself.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Also think it's easier now for cheating to happen. I've had a couple chances myself. Did not cash in. But the opportunity presented itself.


Yes, I agree it’s much easier.


----------



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

I think in the past a woman would fear financial ruin. But now, if she makes a decent income, she may feel that it’s worth the risk. Particularly if she makes more than her husband, and especially if he’s unemployed at the time. She isn’t reliant upon him as a provider - in fact, he’s “holding her back” - so if she’s unhappy with the relationship, she may cheat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

CraigBesuden said:


> I think in the past a woman would fear financial ruin. But now, if she makes a decent income, she may feel that it’s worth the risk. Particularly if she makes more than her husband, and especially if he’s unemployed at the time. She isn’t reliant upon him as a provider - in fact, he’s “holding her back” - so if she’s unhappy with the relationship, she may cheat.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


you got that right. Different times than before. And I do think it's more of an attention thing for many, especially if the guy is so into his work, ignores his wife. She may go searching for someone who does not ignore her.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Openminded said:


> The social stigma against women cheating — with all that involved — once kept many women in line. That’s gone now so I would say it’s at least equal at this point.


That and many women would never admit if they did. Nowadays, women are probably more likely to be truthful in anonymous surveys.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> That and many women would never admit if they did. Nowadays, women are probably more likely to be truthful in anonymous surveys.


totally agree. And women are very good at keeping secrets.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Longtime Hubby said:


> you got that right. Different times than before. And I do think it's more of an attention thing for many, especially if the guy is so into his work, ignores his wife. She may go searching for someone who does not ignore her.


Not many husbands can compete with that, they get stuck with boring married problems...bills, kids etc. Meanwhile she gets dopamine hits at work from men looking to get in her pants. And all the newness chemicals that go into initial relationships that puts the husband at a huge disadvantage. 

In the end, it comes down to character. Some women are just trash.


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

I read women are more likely to get away with adultery. Men are more likely to get caught.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

In marriage if a wife decides to cheat, she has much better options to move on if caught because they have many more options than men. In-fact there are few deterrents under the divorce laws to be afraid of cheating especially now that many western countries have introduced no fault divorce laws.
An example, a friend told me, if inside a large hall there is a woman, even average looking and young or youngish plus 100 men. She shouts out to the guys, do any of you want to have X with me? Most would say yes. Now place this in reverse, Inside a large hall there is an average looking guy, young or youngish plus a 100 women. He shouts out to the girls, do any of you want to a X with me? Most would or probably all would say no. It is the same with the dating game, the competition for the guys is fierce and women know it.
I`ve noticed a pattern in many cheating wife stories:
Husband begins with, we had a good marriage, a great relationship and our s*x life was good.
Then later the husband discovers his wife is not the person he thought she was and has another side to her.
Back some years ago, one of my male co-workers was married for 11 years, they had 2 children together. Then his wife had a falling out with one of her female friends and for spite her friend contacted my co-worker and tipped him off that his wife had been having an affair with a guy she met at a supermarket for the last 4 years.
Believe this or not her husband did not suspect a thing and if not for the tip off he`d probably had never known or maybe the affair would have continued for several more years.
And this is becoming quite common these days..


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

SCDad01 said:


> I read women are more likely to get away with adultery. Men are more likely to get caught.


True because women can be masters at the game of deception and not as they seem at face value.


----------



## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

There are studies backing up any stance today. Men definitely cheat more.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

I never understood why it matters. Crappy people cheat, who cares what percentage of each gender, shoe size, or number of cats the person who does it has? They suck. Literally and metaphorically. Why do the percentages matter?


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

gameopoly5 said:


> In marriage if a wife decides to cheat, she has much better options to move on if caught because they have many more options than men. In-fact there are few deterrents under the divorce laws to be afraid of cheating especially now that many western countries have introduced no fault divorce laws.
> An example, a friend told me, if inside a large hall there is a woman, even average looking and young or youngish plus 100 men. She shouts out to the guys, do any of you want to have X with me? Most would say yes. Now place this in reverse, Inside a large hall there is an average looking guy, young or youngish plus a 100 women. He shouts out to the girls, do any of you want to a X with me? Most would or probably all would say no. It is the same with the dating game, the competition for the guys is fierce and women know it.
> I`ve noticed a pattern in many cheating wife stories:
> Husband begins with, we had a good marriage, a great relationship and our s*x life was good.
> ...


I’m not surprised, not one bit, she covered it up for that many years.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

No one is ever going to know the truth of which gender cheats more because any studies conducted rely on people to admit they were cheating. If I had to guess, I'd say that women today cheat more, simply because it's far easier for them to do so. I don't think either men or women are more loyal than the other, so the gender that has more opportunity to me seems the one more likely to stray. Take into account women have more support systems and can move on easier if a relationship goes south, and they have less to lose if they get caught screwing up.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

SCDad01 said:


> I know five woman that have cheated on their husbands I know one husband that has cheated on his wife.


For me it's about 50/50 men to women.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SCDad01 said:


> I know five woman that have cheated on their husbands I know one husband that has cheated on his wife.


I know of dozens of men who have cheated on their wives. I know 2 women who have cheated on their husbands. One of those women cheated only after she found out that her husband had several affairs. She cheated on her way to divorce.

The population is a lot larger than our immediate circle of friends and acquaintances.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CraigBesuden said:


> Okay, my bad. The NY Post links to a “growing body of research” but the linked information does not support the contention of the article itself (that women cheat more than men).


It's called "click bait". Online publishers use it to get people to click on their pages because they earn advertising income based on the number of page views they get. Use a wild headline to get clicks... then the article does not live up to the wild headline. We all get sucked into that nonsense from time to time.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

These types of threads always bring out a clear picture of what the character of some men on this forum really are. You can degrade yourself or take life experience and rise above it. Women are not your enemy. Both genders have their garbage to own. Use that knowledge to better yourself and not beat the other sex down.

Y’all are only destroying yourself from the inside.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

SCDad01 said:


> I read women are more likely to get away with adultery. Men are more likely to get caught.


That matches what I've read. Only 80-84% of men get away with it, but 92-94% of women don't get caught. The cheating we know about it just the tip of the iceberg.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Married but Happy said:


> That matches what I've read. Only 80-84% of men get away with it, but 92-94% of women don't get caught. The cheating we know about it just the tip of the iceberg.


What study did you see for stats? Fascinating.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> For me it's about 50/50 men to women.


I know one woman who cheated. I know about a dozen men.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I know one woman who cheated. I know about a dozen men.


Probably all married to women who don’t swallow.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Not said:


> Probably all married to women who don’t swallow.


Oh no doubt. And who could blame them? We should reject all women who don't swallow (or accidentally let some drip out or have any kind of gag reflex.)


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

*"Women Are More Likely to Cheat Than Men"*

_Nonsense_


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

After reading some posts, and for the sake of justice, I have to add.

*"Women Are More Likely to Cheat Than Men"
"Men Are More Likely to Cheat Than Women"*

_Nonsense_


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> And they are much better at keeping secrets than men are.


That's debatable.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ElOtro said:


> After reading some posts, and for the sake of justice, I have to add.
> 
> *"Women Are More Likely to Cheat Than Men"
> "Men Are More Likely to Cheat Than Women"*
> ...


It should read "Selfish Immoral People Are More Likely to Cheat than Decent People."


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It should read "Selfish Immoral People Are More Likely to Cheat than Decent People."


True.
Even so and for my own use, I don´t focus only and neither mainly in individual virtue / weaknes / character.
Other wider / social factors are IMO involved.
Factors that are NOT ammunition for the gender wars.
Excuse me please on making an essay-like post about, it would be boring.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> I know of dozens of men who have cheated on their wives. I know 2 women who have cheated on their husbands. One of those women cheated only after she found out that her husband had several affairs. She cheated on her way to divorce.
> 
> The population is a lot larger than our immediate circle of friends and acquaintances.


Yeah and I realize trends with infidelity change from region to region and from variations in local culture.

I've seen far more women behaving like mindless goats but research indicates they have their counterparts in other areas.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> Yeah and I realize trends with infidelity change from region to region and from variations in local culture.
> 
> I've seen far more women behaving like mindless goats but research indicates they have their counterparts in other areas.


“Mindless goats“ made me chuckle.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

KindBuddha said:


> To the women who claim they each know 10+ or dozens of men who cheat, as compared to very few women who cheat--aside from the purely anecdotal nature of your "data," how is it that you associate with scads of cheating men? It seems rather obvious that if you just associated randomly the amount of cheaters would be split roughly equally, give or take.


It is a mistake to believe that populations are uniformly distributed.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

Not said:


> In my family/social circle it's about even. Was just talking about this with my son last night. He's getting married this weekend and we were talking about cheating and I filled him in on the dark history of family/friends he was never aware of as he grew up.
> 
> I thought it was important for him to see that people he's known his whole life aren't really what he thinks they are, that people are capable of things he would never guess at and that it's wise to never place anyone on a pedestal.


Advise your son to get a prenup all legally endorsed by a lawyer, because a prenup can be a wise investment, not only because it outlines a couple's finances, but because it can thwart a costly and contentious divorce if the marriage doesn't work out, considering that today 60% of marriages fail and 80% of divorces are initiated by wives.
There was a famous case two or three years ago, in America I think, whereas a guy was married to his wife for 30 years.
The couple had 5 adult children together or so he thought.
He bought himself and his children one of those ancestry.com DNA tests just for fun to find his family tree. When he received the results they devastated him.
The man discovered that he was not the biological father to any of his 5 children.
He decided to sue his wife for several million dollars but sadly died of cancer soon after.
This is why I believe no man`s name should be placed on a birth certificate until taken a DNA test and proven to be the biological father.
If this was imposed the numbers of infidelity among women would increase substantially and why I believe this will not happen.


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

KindBuddha said:


> Of course. Completely agree with you. Because everyone knows that if your husband is being a jerk, going behind his back to chow down on some other guy's smoked sausage makes your husband not be a jerk no more no more.


I'm not saying it helps the situation. I'm just saying some people don't hold the husband accountable for his role in it. They blame the female alone. I'm not saying everyone is like that, but it is in my culture.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

GC1234 said:


> They blame the female alone. I'm not saying everyone is like that, but it is in my culture.


Not by here or at least not since previous generations "times"


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

ElOtro said:


> Not by here or at least not since previous generations "times"


I couldn't say, the American culture is so varied. Happened in my own marriage. I didn't cheat, but still.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

GC1234 said:


> I couldn't say, the American culture is so varied. Happened in my own marriage. I didn't cheat, but still.


I´m not from USA and neither living there.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

KindBuddha said:


> Of course. Completely agree with you. Because everyone knows that if your husband is being a jerk, going behind his back to chow down on some other guy's smoked sausage makes your husband not be a jerk no more no more.


LOL. A total jerk of a spouse is like having incurable cancer. An affair is like aspirin, giving some temporary relief to keep living while you hope for a cure, or can cut it out.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

GC1234 said:


> I'm not saying it helps the situation. I'm just saying some people don't hold the husband accountable for his role in it. They blame the female alone. I'm not saying everyone is like that, but it is in my culture.


Those are hopium addicts. They don't want to hold their spouse responsible because that would mean they would need to examine their own role in it that made them choose that spouse.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> "i'm only human, born to make mistakes" - Human League


I'm love the twist at the end of that song when the female vocalist sings that she was only human too, lol.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Married but Happy said:


> That matches what I've read. Only 80-84% of men get away with it, but 92-94% of women don't get caught. The cheating we know about it just the tip of the iceberg.


Honestly I don't believe any of the stats. How in the world could they get so precise with those numbers?


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

I don’t think so from my MC who studied under Dr Gottman. He says from his 20 plus years of counseling he say 50% male and female. He says in the last twenty years the internet has allowed more opportunities to cheat.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

GC1234 said:


> Completely disagree with this post. I don't personally know many women that have cheated on their spouse, but of the women I do hear about, they usually do so because their husband's treat them like s*** for many years, and then the husband wants to play the victim, blame the wife for everything, and be completely delusional as to the real reasons why their spouse then did what they did... etc. etc. You know how the story goes. I'm not saying there aren't bad women out there who do this to good husbands, this is just most women that I know of, not in my circle, but circle of friends, etc.


The cheating women I know all cheated for extra sausage on the side. Purely physical wants.

One time felt sorry for the clerk at my office, she was married to a state trooper, she ended up screwing hubby's bestie, also a trooper. Hubby filed and had sex with the other BS and after they were back together, had sex with her bestie to ice the cake. She was all upset because the hubby now just flirted with other girls and she didn't feel like she could complain too much, because she started the **** show and created this monster.


----------



## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Honestly I don't believe any of the stats. How in the world could they get so precise with those numbers?


I am VERY suspicious about any stats for the numbers who *don't* get caught.


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> The cheating women I know all cheated for extra sausage on the side. Purely physical wants.
> 
> One time felt sorry for the clerk at my office, she was married to a state trooper, she ended up screwing hubby's bestie, also a trooper. Hubby filed and had sex with the other BS and after they were back together, had sex with her bestie to ice the cake. She was all upset because the hubby now just flirted with other girls and she didn't feel like she could complain too much, because she started the **** show and created this monster.


Did they divorce?


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> I don’t think so from my MC who studied under Dr Gottman. He says from his 20 plus years of counseling he say 50% male and female. He says in the last twenty years the internet has allowed more opportunities to cheat.


I think you're right. It's unfair to generalize based on gender. And reasons for cheating vary too. I'm not excusing it, but some people (not all) can't leave spouses, and choose to relieve the stress in ways that a lot don't agree with.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Honestly I don't believe any of the stats. How in the world could they get so precise with those numbers?


Yeah, there will be a lot of lies in response to surveys, even anonymous ones; there are problems selecting participants, and self-selecting responses are always skewed. At best, I think the best surveys may get within plus/minus 10%.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

I appologize for the TJ. But sometimes we should stop to celebrate expressions that are far beyond the euphemisms of the unloyal ones.
Those rare jewels have a poetic of their own. The strenght and explanatory powers of the mighty metaphors of art, philosophy and science. 
My humble tribute tho them.
Consider this one, please.



GC1234 said:


> ...and choose to relieve the stress in ways that a lot don't agree with.


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

ElOtro said:


> I appologize for the TJ. But sometimes we should stop to celebrate expressions that are far beyond the euphemisms of the unloyal ones.
> Those rare jewels have a poetic of their own. The strenght and explanatory powers of the mighty metaphors of art, philosophy and science.
> My humble tribute tho them.
> Consider this one, please.


I'm not sure if this is sarcastic or not. But ok.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I'm love the twist at the end of that song when the female vocalist sings that she was only human too, lol.


while you were away, i was human, too


----------



## elliblue (7 mo ago)

Men cheat more often. Was always like this and will always. People here forget that it is men who visit prostitutes not women. If women were more willing to cheat thete would be mainly sex markets for women not men!!!!

Simple logic. Semen is cheap, eggs not. Women are and have to be more picky then men and to most women attachment is more important then sex.

The saying goes: men are paying sex workers to leave afterwards.
The saying says it all. Men aren't that prone to detachment and they are set up to be more willing to mate several females at the same time.
This is also seen in apes. Males have harems because they are less picky and get less attached (most of the time).

But sex starved men seem also to get extremly delusional. The hormones seem to create absurd ideas in their head that women are evil and not to be trusted.
It is also men that tend to kill women when they get jealous. This is due to that twisted mind some men here display.
This hate men develope towards women if they feel not being in control is conserning and the reason for femicide all over the world.

All those women haters seriously need to seek councelling and I wish none of you to ever find a female partner, because such woman will be in great danger with such toxic man on her side who runs around playing victim. 

Go date other men, if you think males are better. You'll see who difficult and full of betrayel homosexual relationships are too.

If you believe women are the problem, then talk to gay couples and see if they do better being with men.


----------



## SortingStuff (Dec 5, 2018)

CraigBesuden said:


> I think women are now getting caught. Women are naturally much better at cheating and not getting caught. (For example, wives prefer to cheat with married men who are incentivized to always keep it secret, while men prefer the single women.) But technology changed everything. A spouse constantly on their phone, changing the passcode, hiding the phone from you, etc., makes the other spouse suspicious. The betrayed spouse gets into the phone (or messages pop up on a connected iPad), uses tracking devices, turns on location tracking, etc. …. It’s much easier to get noticed acting wrongly with phones and apps, and the betrayed spouse today can get clear proof of the affair. A married AP just means that two marriages blow up instead of one. I think the cheating is about the same but women are getting caught now.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


You got this right. Then there’s just plain stoopid, too. My ex-GF left her email open on our shared computer where I saw a reply her lover had sent her. No snooping or location tracking needed.
Kicked her out of my house the next day.


----------



## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

elliblue said:


> Men cheat more often. Was always like this and will always. People here forget that it is men who visit prostitutes not women. If women were more willing to cheat thete would be mainly sex markets for women not men!!!!
> 
> Simple logic. Semen is cheap, eggs not. Women are and have to be more picky then men and to most women attachment is more important then sex.
> 
> ...


Actually the highest rates of domestic violence is in gay couples, to be specific, *lesbian* gay couples.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

elliblue said:


> Men cheat more often. Was always like this and will always. People here forget that it is men who visit prostitutes not women. If women were more willing to cheat thete would be mainly sex markets for women not men!!!!
> 
> Simple logic. Semen is cheap, eggs not. Women are and have to be more picky then men and to most women attachment is more important then sex.
> 
> ...


It`s not a case of men are cheating less often, it`s become a case whereas women are cheating more often therefore the numbers of infidelity among males and females are equalising and surveys are beginning to show that infidelity among women are overtaking that of men.

But the numbers of infidelity among women does vary from countries to countries and across different cultures. In India for example, wives are cheating more than husbands and in other countries less.

In western countries infidelity among women has undoubtedly increased mainly due to feminist ideology, divorce legal systems that favour women in societies that consider all women are victims regardless, the Internet, social media, cell phones, dating apps and sites that in this technological age it`s never been easier for women to cheat.

On dating apps and sites, the majority of women are aiming for only 20% of men that they consider as high value men, the Chads and Tyrones or high earners, whereas the average guys are rarely successful in finding dates and relationships on those apps and sites.

As you mentioned female sex workers, it had been estimated in 2009 that worldwide there were 40 million female sex workers worldwide and that was 13 years ago and today those figures must be much higher. Today all a woman requires is a room, a computer and a webcam, they can sign up on cam sites within 2 minutes and they`re in business not to mention OnlyFans and pornhub.

Last year statistics showed that 73% of female British students are prostituting themselves to pay for their tuition and this is now common practice worldwide becoming known as sideline girls meaning they do sex work on the side. The worse part that this is widely becoming acceptable in society and even somewhat encouraged. Again this is heavily influenced by feminism the empowerment for women ideology.

The girl next door types are becoming extinct and being replaced by the so-called modern women and why, especially in western countries a large percentage of men are opting not to marry.

I am by no means being sexist or derogatory to women, unlike what you have mentioned in your post I have done my research and deal in facts all that you can check out yourself.

Of course not all women are bad the same as not all men are bad, it just means the world has changed and the sanctity of marriage is becoming meaningless.

The standard of a society is based on the moral values of it`s women. Fact.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Dictum Veritas said:


> Actually the highest rates of domestic violence is in gay couples, to be specific, *lesbian* gay couples.


Yes, I've read that the highest level of domestic violence is in lesbian couples. However, the highest level of partner murder is men killing their female intimate partner. In 58% of all killings perpetrated by intimate partners or other family members, the victim was a woman or girl.


----------



## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Yes, I've read that the highest level of domestic violence is in lesbian couples. However, the highest level of partner murder is men killing their female intimate partner. In 58% of all killings perpetrated by intimate partners or other family members, the victim was a woman or girl.


That can be attributed to natural strength disparity and not intent. If women were naturally stronger, I'd wager we'd see a lot more dead men under the exact same circumstances. Studies have found that domestic violence, regardless of couple's orientation is disproportionately more frequently initiated by the woman.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

gameopoly5 said:


> Last year statistics showed that 73% of female British students are prostituting themselves to pay for their tuition and this is now common practice worldwide becoming known as sideline girls meaning they do sex work on the side.


I searched for data on this in the UK. The only thing I could find was one that said that about 10% of women in college are doing sex work. 

Here's another one. It says that _"A relatively high proportion (16.5%) indicated that they would be willing to engage in sex work to pay for their education, with 11% indicating they would work as escorts. "_
(PDF) Participation in Sex Work: Students’ Views (researchgate.net)


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Dictum Veritas said:


> That can be attributed to natural strength disparity and not intent. If women were naturally stronger, I'd wager we'd see a lot more dead men under the exact same circumstances. Studies have found that domestic violence, regardless of couple's orientation is disproportionately more frequently initiated by the woman.


Yea, that makes it ok. Right? Not intent? Get real.

The fact is that men are stronger than women as a rule. So, men who would engage in domestic violence should learn to control their tendencies to be violent.
--- women account for two out of three murder victims killed by an intimate partner​--- 55% of women killed in domestic violence were killed with a firearm.​--- 70% of the women killed in DV were first beaten by the man before the man shot and killed the woman.​
Since gun violence is the big topic these days, all the stats talk about firearms. I have no doubt that the knives and other "weapons" are used fairly often as well.

The strength of the man who killed the women had no bearing on the murder. And clearly murder was the intent. Anyone who shoots someone with a firearm intends to kill them.

One thing to consider is that since about the 1970's there has been a big movement in the US to end male DV against women. It's been fairly successful in that the amount of male or female DV is about 50% of what it was when it was legal for men to beat their wives.

DV is wrong no matter who does it. But the stronger person and/or the one with the weapon needs to stop before they do something absolutely terrible.


----------



## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Yea, that makes it ok. Right? Not intent? Get real.
> 
> The fact is that men are stronger than women as a rule. So, men who would engage in domestic violence should learn to control their tendencies to be violent.
> --- women account for two out of three murder victims killed by an intimate partner​--- 55% of women killed in domestic violence were killed with a firearm.​--- 70% of the women killed in DV were first beaten by the man before the man shot and killed the woman.​
> ...


You're preaching to the choir here, as to the fact that violence is despicable unless no other option is left open to you (defense). If you go through my post history, you'll see I was the victim of domestic violence in my first marriage. I never lifted a finger against her, but I had split lips and more as she hit me with heavy objects etc.

I'm just saying that if I snapped, even only once, during being battered, I could have pulverized her and joined the anti-male statistics so gleefully quoted. Luckily I never snapped. Here's the kicker. Police did get involved. She got a soft and fuzzy warning after they saw the state of my face and she had not a scratch on her. Not a number added to any statistics.

Were the roles reversed I would be scrambling for bail that same night and the statistics would be padded.

I'm not anti-woman, I've just had it up to the eyeballs with everything anti-male. There is never a civil conversation to be had if something pro-male is mentioned anymore (or facts that have women in a less than stellar light), but if you bash males in any sense you get all the pats on the back.

My story is a reason why I can say with authority that all the stats are skewed against males and the mere fact that studies found that women are more likely to initiate domestic violence with stats as skewed as it is, indicates that it is even more prevalent that figured into the studies themselves.

I am really, but as in utterly getting sick of everything anti-male, given wings and allowed to fly because it's become a cultural and rather sick phenomena to amplify everything bad men do and get praised for the effort.

People (both male and female) participating in this phenomena are making my SH list which is increasingly growing as it seems to be the new "in" thing of the decade.


----------



## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> The fact is that men are stronger than women as a rule. So, men who would engage in domestic violence should learn to control their tendencies to be violent.
> --- women account for two out of three murder victims killed by an intimate partner--- 55% of women killed in domestic violence were killed with a firearm.--- 70% of the women killed in DV were first beaten by the man before the man shot and killed the woman.


Those must be national stats with firearms (for the USA) and I'm sure they are measured against international stats without stating distinction when desired. It's actually very hard to get hold of a legal firearm in most of the rest of the world.

As for controlling superior strength, I'm a testament for having done that and got cheated on for my efforts to boot. I could have snapped my ex wife like a twig while she was battering me with everything heavy she could get her hands on. I did nothing.

I stepped out of that marriage in the end with an understanding that I'm just lucky I never got pressed beyond my breaking point. EVERY SINGLE PERSON has a BREAKING POINT and when pressed beyond, WILL LOOSE CONTROL. Had I been pressed beyond that "I saw red" point, it would have ended very badly for all concerned. But since I was only a man, being battered by his wife, nothing ever made a single stat, thanks to my self control.


----------



## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Yea, that makes it ok. Right? Not intent? Get real.


My ex wife had every intent to kill me with heavy objects of that I'm sure. Had she had the strength, I'd have been dead, but because I'm so much stronger than her, she failed in that, in the moment, intent. She is included in no statistics.

Contrast that to the possibility of me snapping while being battered. I could have killed her bare handed without even fully intending to do so and at times it took a heck of a lot of self control not to raise as much as a finger. Had that happened, I would have formed part of the stats you are quoting.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> Yea, that makes it ok. Right? Not intent? Get real.
> 
> The fact is that men are stronger than women as a rule. So, men who would engage in domestic violence should learn to control their tendencies to be violent.
> --- women account for two out of three murder victims killed by an intimate partner​--- 55% of women killed in domestic violence were killed with a firearm.​--- 70% of the women killed in DV were first beaten by the man before the man shot and killed the woman.​
> ...


The title of this thread is: Women Are More Likely to Cheat Than Men.
You have deflected this thread to, domestic violence against women.
Why not start your own thread on this subject?


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Not sure how it makes any difference which gender is more likely to cheat, or how a survey would determine.

A spouse just needs to be unlucky with their partner. And over a lifetime the odds are probably not in favor of fidelity. 

So maybe the best approach is for neither partner to exhibit behaviors that increase the odds of infidelity and to not be blind to fact that it is always possible and maybe even probable.

Also, marrying a wild child may not be the best option if the goal is fidelity.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Dictum Veritas said:


> My ex wife had every intent to kill me with heavy objects of that I'm sure. Had she had the strength, I'd have been dead, but because I'm so much stronger than her, she failed in that, in the moment, intent. She is included in no statistics.
> 
> Contrast that to the possibility of me snapping while being battered. I could have killed her bare handed without even fully intending to do so and at times it took a heck of a lot of self control not to raise as much as a finger. Had that happened, I would have formed part of the stats you are quoting.


Yea, that's bad. My first husband was very violent. It was bad. I never once hit him or did anything violent to him. Instead, I would leave the home or lock myself in a room. This was during the 'old days' when the only time the police cared about domestic violence was if the victim was killed. The victim could be put in the hospital with broken bones and worse... and it was not a crime. I left him the day he was going to kill me with a knife while I was in the bathtub. It was obviously intentional. Lucky for me, his cousin showed up at our door and distracted him. I was able to throw on cloths and run out the door while he was telling his cousin that it was not a good time to visit.

My second husband was also violent, not as violent but violent none the less. The violence with him did not start until after we had a child... I guess he then thought I could not leave because he could keep our child hostage. When I filed for divorce, I mentioned the violence. The judge had the divorce papers sealed because the judge stated that "we can't have public records make such claimed against a medical doctor.

There are violent people. Anyone in a relationship with a violent person needs to leave the first time it happens. That's the bottom line. 

That said, this the topic of domestic violence is a thread jack.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

gameopoly5 said:


> The title of this thread is: Women Are More Likely to Cheat Than Men.
> 
> You have deflected this thread to, domestic violence against women.


It was established in the 2nd post on this thread the entire premise of the OP is false in that the poster linked to an article to back up the claim that said the exact opposite. The article and the support material it linked to in the texted stated the exact opposite.



gameopoly5 said:


> Why not start your own thread on this subject?


DV brought up the topic. I'm not going to start a thread on the topic of DV because it's been beat to death on this forum. However, I'm also not going to let a post pushing false information stand.

That said, I'm closing this thread.


----------

