# how long did you live together after deciding to split? insanity!!!



## HELP ME. (Jun 10, 2009)

just curious what the average time was for someone to move out? I personally think I will be giving up a bunch of leverage if I move out. I am almost certain she won't move out (ever). it is misery for both of us but I need to get some financial stuff in order, get some kind of agreement on what stuff is worth, etc... before I can consider moving out.... otherwise it seems like I would have a legal battle on my hands and lots of lawyer fees?

just curious how long anyone on here lived together but knew they were going to split.... how did you get through it? We just avoid each other and I try to play with the kids as much as I can. 

one friend said they co-habitated 6 months until they finally figured out who would move, etc....


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Are you getting divorced or a legal seperation?

I'd say don't leave until the paperwork is final....or in the works. The first to leave can sometimes be charged with abandonment which leads the other spouse to have a more favorable chance at getting things (like the house) in court proceedings.

I'd check with a lawyer before going anywhere


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

Let's see...she called me on a Sunday and said I had to move out and Monday I moved...and Tuesday afternoon her new guy was at the house...

How's that?

Preacher


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I'd get a consult with an attorney. Many times folks falsely think the spouse will get the upper hand if you leave the family home. I imagine it might be different from state to state.

I suppose you are already in separate rooms? That would be a start if not. Try to get things ironed out regarding how visiting arrangements will look with the kids. That is (1) step. If you can start working together toward arrangements than perhaps you will both feel better. Many times folks are defensive thinking the other one is going to make a slick move!!

Not sure if you both want the divorce/separation or not?


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

We lived together for 6+ months after separating (our state just said we had to cease marital relations and live like we were single) and then another 6+ before I sold the house and moved. I don't recommend it to anyone.


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## separation anxiety (Aug 10, 2009)

I knew my wife was doing something on the sly with another guy. She didn't know that i knew, so i took the opportunity to get my finances in order and I decided i would move out of the matrimonial home and set up an apartment so it would be in the same neighborhood for the kids (2). 
Our situation is a little different because we have an income property also. I want to live in an apartment for a year to settle everything and then logically I would get the income property and she stays in the matrimonial home. 
We are jointly on title for the houses so i am not relinquishing any ownership of the house by leaving. I am also maintaining 50% time with the kids so i am not relinquishing any parental responsibilities. 
So far we are both being level headed about it. The separation just happened last friday aug 7, so it hasn't been a week. I am going to follow up with my family lawyer to go over any steps going ahead.

I couldn't imaging staying under the same roof once you announce you wanted to separate. A criminal lawyer suggested to me to move out as soon as you tell them, as it could turn bad really fast, so best not put yourself in a potentially bad spot. 
Alot depends on the circumstances, how you think they would react, but most importantly, get some advice from a lawyer. 

I'm new to all this, so for whatever its worth, take from it what you can and good luck.


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