# Inlove with My Sister in Law



## Gooch78 (Mar 19, 2012)

Im in love with my sister in law and we have always had unconditional love for each other Something that I have never felt with anyone. We have been together a couple of times and are daily in contact.

I want our relationship to work, its selfish but I know we both would be very happy together.

Ive been married for 12 years with 2 kids.

How can I make this work..


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

Seriously?


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## RosaParks (Jan 4, 2016)

Gooch,

Is this your wife's sister? Is she married with kids, also?

To answer your question:
1. Recognize you will never be able to run away far enough for this to be a completely peaceful relationship, now or in the future.
2. Recognize that you and your lover will never live in a little house with a white picket fence and flowers and feel that all is right with the world.
3. Recognize it is very unlikely that the grass will be greener on the other side.
4. Drop any ongoing EA & PA with sis right away! 
5. Actively seek out individual counseling. Explore why you feel this way (I.e. "unconditional love") with sis and not with wife.
6. Resolve to identify marriage issues that led to PA with sis.
7. Commit to Marriage counseling.
8. Be respectful of your wife & kids and their other relatives. Have integrity & decency!
9. Resolve all issues with your wife, up to and thru divorce BEFORE continuing any relationship with sis. 

It is certainly easier to keep up this hidden affair than it is to resolve your marriage issues and perhaps, ultimately become available for another relationship. Having a relationship with your sis is not the issue here. The issue here is ~ You, Pal are married! Work on & Resolve the issue that you are not currently happy or satisfied. That is where the work begins. Minimize the drama. Do things in logical order, one relationship at a time. Be prepared for a hellish long-term life life with your children and in-law families. 

You didn't ask, but do I give this odds for any kind of happy ending ? Not a chance! 
Keep your eyes wide open, not just your zipper!

Good luck.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Gooch78 said:


> Im in love with my sister in law and we have always had unconditional love for each other Something that I have never felt with anyone. We have been together a couple of times and are daily in contact.
> 
> I want our relationship to work, its selfish but I know we both would be very happy together.
> 
> ...


So I can understand without banging my head on my keyboard.

You are married.
However, you are in love with your sister in law (I assume your brother's wife - could be wife's sister)?
You have been together (I assume sexually)?

And you are asking a site devoted to marriage how to keep cheating on your wife and brother/wife's sister?

Do I understand this correctly?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Based on the number of threads you have started since 2012 and the subjects of those posts, my recommendation is that you seek out some heavy duty therapy for yourself and divorce your wife.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Gooch78 said:


> How can I make this work..


Her picture and your right hand. That is the closest you will get.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Gooch78 said:


> Im in love with my sister in law and we have always had unconditional love for each other Something that I have never felt with anyone. We have been together a couple of times and are daily in contact.
> 
> I want our relationship to work, its selfish but I know we both would be very happy together.
> 
> ...


I just love these moving love stories. Hopefully your sister-in-law and your wife are twins because that makes everything even more hot.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Confess the affair to your wife and brother/brother-in-law.

They'll help you "make it work".

And just so we're clear, are you talking about your wife's sister, your wife's brother's wife, or your brother's wife?

And have you been married for 12 or 13 years...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...ion/312721-so-unhappy-my-13year-marriage.html

...?

Your threads are a trip.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Gooch,

Whatever you do, STOP what you are doing NOW, there is NO UPSIDE OF ANY KIND IN WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!

The best you can hope for is to confess completely in the hope that perhaps one of the families can be salvaged. Every time you are with your SIL makes any kind of recovery more and more of a remote possiblity.

My now brother in law attempted for force himself on my W when we were dating, and it has cast a huge shadow on the family which never went away.

Tamat


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

TAMAT said:


> My now brother in law attempted for force himself on my W when we were dating, and it has cast a huge shadow on the family which never went away.
> 
> Tamat


Sorry that this situation hits close to home for you. My reply was based on my 99% certainty that that OP is just playing with us.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Become a monk with a vow of abstinence and silence.

Talk to us in ten years after you learn Kung Fu as well.

This is the only way to make this work.

Trust me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MasterK24 (Aug 16, 2014)

You need to abandon this plane you are in you need to grab a parachute jump before this plane crashes you need to get off this plane and act like you were never on it. Because this plane your in will crash and you will wish that when it crashed that you died in it because that's how bad **** is going to be for you. I hope my plane metaphor makes sense.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Family reunions = AWKWARD


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## Gooch78 (Mar 19, 2012)

Yes its my wifes Sister, I have had serious marriage problems since Ive joined this Site. Ive had never ending drama in my marraige, the only reason why we havent left each other was for the kids. We are currently separated living in the same house and Ill be FINALLY moving within 3 months time.

In our culture, marriage counseling doesn't happen, and for sure my Ex wont accept a marriage counseler, I tried, she refused.

There must be a way where GF and I could make things work.. Anyways, after very hard thought, I will be focusing on my business and getting myself back together, keeping it cool with GF, focusing on my kids and try to take things step at a time.


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## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> Gooch78 said:
> 
> 
> > How can I make this work..
> ...


LMAO!!! Sadly I think they've been physical.


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## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

Gooch78 said:


> Yes its my wifes Sister, I have had serious marriage problems since Ive joined this Site. Ive had never ending drama in my marraige, the only reason why we havent left each other was for the kids. We are currently separated living in the same house and Ill be FINALLY moving within 3 months time.
> 
> In our culture, marriage counseling doesn't happen, and for sure my Ex wont accept a marriage counseler, I tried, she refused.
> 
> There must be a way where GF and I could make things work.. Anyways, after very hard thought, I will be focusing on my business and getting myself back together, keeping it cool with GF, focusing on my kids and try to take things step at a time.


File for divorce if you're unhappy but under no circumstances should you be fvckin around with your wife's sister! This is going to cause a lot of pain to your family if you continue to selfishly keep acting on it. There are other women out there. Leave your SIL alone. Sheesh!!


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Gooch,

As long as you are in daily contact the affair continues, and as long as the affair continues both of the marriages have no possibility of recovery or improvement. 

The reason both marriages are not successful is because of the affair, so end the affair perhaps one marriage will survive. The routine excuse that you had an affair because the marriages were unhappy is usually the reverse of the truth.

Please end all contact with the sister and confess and apologize to your wife and her husband.

You already are harming your children and hers.

Tamat


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Who is GF ? If by GF you mean backstabbing, worthless POS sister of your wife, then ah, I know who it is.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Oh and by the way, it takes one to love one. Do the right thing and tell your wife.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

I suggest you NOT tell your wife. Just stop doing whatever you are doing to the sister.
If you tell, it will devastate your wife and she will never trust you and will end up divorcing you. 
Truth is not always the best way out.
Just learn and move on.

Did you have sex with the sister?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

If she can do that to her sister, and you can do that to your wife and the mother of your children, then I can see why you both get along so well.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

nirvana said:


> I suggest you NOT tell your wife. Just stop doing whatever you are doing to the sister.
> If you tell, it will devastate your wife and she will never trust you and will end up divorcing you.
> Truth is not always the best way out.
> Just learn and move on.
> ...


Terrible advice above! Of course she should divorce you!! This is an uncivilised terrible thing you did to her.

End this unholy relationship asap and let your wife (and her family and your kids) deal with her "sister"!


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

manfromlamancha said:


> Terrible advice above! Of course she should divorce you!! This is an uncivilised terrible thing you did to her.
> 
> End this unholy relationship asap and let your wife (and her family and your kids) deal with her "sister"!


I don't agree. This is not about right or wrong. If the answer is "she should divorce you", why is the OP here in the first place?

If the OP wants to stay married to this woman, then he should not tell her. If he wants to divorce, then just go ahead and divorce her himself.


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## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

nirvana said:


> I don't agree. This is not about right or wrong. If the answer is "she should divorce you", why is the OP here in the first place?
> 
> If the OP wants to stay married to this woman, then he should not tell her. If he wants to divorce, then just go ahead and divorce her himself.


OP wants to be with his SIL. Did you read his post? So he needs to tell and divorce his wife about this disgusting relationship.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

nirvana said:


> I don't agree. This is not about right or wrong. If the answer is "she should divorce you", why is the OP here in the first place?
> 
> If the OP wants to stay married to this woman, then he should not tell her. If he wants to divorce, then just go ahead and divorce her himself.


This can only be about right and wrong - there is no other advice that anyone else can give him.


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## Gooch78 (Mar 19, 2012)

Sad to say, we stopped the whole relationship knowing its impossible to have a future, needs a miracle. 

Thank you all for your posts.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

You did the right thing. As you said, there's no way happiness could be had. If you intend to stay married to your wife, you'd better hope like hell she never finds out. That's unlikely. You're sitting on a time bomb. If she ever finds out, you're toast. There's no other person on the planet that you could cheat with that wiukd hurt her like this. 

Glad you stopped.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

nirvana said:


> I don't agree. This is not about right or wrong. If the answer is "she should divorce you", why is the OP here in the first place?
> 
> If the OP wants to stay married to this woman, then he should not tell her. If he wants to divorce, then just go ahead and divorce her himself.


OP doesn't want to stay married.

He wants to know how to make the relationship with the AP work


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

snerg said:


> OP doesn't want to stay married.
> 
> He wants to know how to make the relationship with the AP work


It won't work. He thinks the grass is greener with the sister but it is not. If he had originally married the sister, he would be lusting after the woman who is now his wife, asking us how to make THAT happen.

That cultural living arrangement is to his detriment. I can actually empathize with him how he got in this situation.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> I can actually empathize with him how he got in this situation.



Seriously? 


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

manfromlamancha said:


> Terrible advice above! Of course she should divorce you!! This is an uncivilised terrible thing you did to her.
> 
> End this unholy relationship asap and let your wife (and her family and your kids) deal with her "sister"!


My wife would be best to take it to the grave with her. If she were to tell me that I would be going to jail for very long time after I get done with the both of them.


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## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

Ok so how many of you here think OP should come clean and tell his wife about this and try to fix his marriage? Granted if he does tell his wife then the WHOLE family will know and it will be a Sh1t storm. Not only will OP have destroyed his own family but the family of his SIL as well. (I believe OP should tell his wife and allow her the decision of either staying or divorcing, but it will destroy her). Or should he just bury this and try to move on with his life with this HUGE gorilla on his back??

OP, what is your wife like?? Do you think she MIGHT consider forgiving you after she kicks her sister's @ss? Or do you think she will bail? You have said that you've ended the A but is this something you will be able to live with?? (It will EAT you alive).


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

He should tell his wife and hopefully she'll bring his butt to the cleaner!


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

spinsterdurga said:


> Seriously?


I meant the emotional attachment to the sister caused by living in same household, not the physical part. 

:surprise:


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

snerg said:


> OP doesn't want to stay married.
> 
> He wants to know how to make the relationship with the AP work



OK I guess I am confused and I need to read the entire thread...


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Gooch78 said:


> In our culture, marriage counseling doesn't happen, and for sure my Ex wont accept a marriage counseler, I tried, she refused.


In what culture on God's green Earth is marriage counseling not accepted but f**king your wife's sister acceptable?

Gooch the chooch is worried about how his culture looks upon counseling but infidelity is just fine apparently.

You sir a hypocrite and a disgrace to your culture, whatever it may be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Gooch78 said:


> Im in love with my sister in law and we have always had unconditional love for each other Something that I have never felt with anyone. We have been together a couple of times and are daily in contact.
> 
> I want our relationship to work, its selfish but I know we both would be very happy together.
> 
> ...


It's simple. 

Tell your wife that you no longer love her, tell your children that you no longer love their mother and repeat this same message to every member of your family, plus your wife's parents and the husband or boyfriend of your sister-in-law.

Then filer for divorce.

Oh, yeah! Tell your wife to come to the Coping With Infidelity section on TAM, where she'll receive the best help available for dealing with your s**t.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Oh and also tell your kids that should you have any kids with their aunt, they will be cousins and siblings at the same time and that their mother would now be their siblings' aunt!

What fun! If that doesn't screw them up, nothing will. Only thing better would be if you and your brother married your wife and her sister and then swapped spouses!


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## Gooch78 (Mar 19, 2012)

Well, as selfish as it sounds, I love her so much, but we know its IMPOSSIBLE, maybe later in life. Coming clean with my Ex-wife on this issue is Destructive for everyone. 

My Ex-wife and I have already been separated since December...


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Yeah. Separate, divorce. TKe it to your grave.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

Gooch78 said:


> Well, as selfish as it sounds, I love her so much, but we know its IMPOSSIBLE, maybe later in life. Coming clean with my Ex-wife on this issue is Destructive for everyone.
> 
> My Ex-wife and I have already been separated since December...


Dude, 
Leave your ex's sister alone. Go find another woman to bang and fall in love with. Your exW is not stupid she will figure it out as soon as you and her sister are lax in your relationship. Your ex WILL find out. This kind of secret is never buried for long. I suggest you find a way to deal with the downfall when the sh1t hits the fan. 

Good luck.


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## SoulCrushed16 (Feb 15, 2016)

Evinrude58 said:


> Yeah. Separate, divorce. TKe it to your grave.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Pretty much. But what happens when the truth actually DOES come to fruition?


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## Gooch78 (Mar 19, 2012)

I have No choice but to leave her alone. But we have never felt the Love and she makes me want to be a better man, work hard and do much better for my self and my kids. 

Both communicate so openly, I just know and love everything about her. I understand I cant have her which makes it very painful.

To my grave I will take and just love her in my heart and wish her the best..

Thanks all for the feedback.


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