# Any childless couple here?



## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

I'm 25 and my H is 32 married for 3 years now and we decided not to have children at least for a couple more years( 5+) 
If you are childless is by wish or not? And what do you do in your spare time? 
Do you have hobbies together? We like to travel a lot and a lot of the weekends take a short break, the last one was to Paris.


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## desertdog (Apr 22, 2013)

My spouse and I are the same ages as you and yours. I would like children in the next year or two, but he isn't ready. He keeps saying the job isn't right, he isn't home enough, I'm not ready. Just a million different reasons. 

We have no hobbies together and no spare time. He's gone M-F and when he gets home, if it's nice out, he's out riding his motorcycle. Spare time is spent on home repairs/projects. We don't even like drinking together anymore. 

We used to love to travel, but I was the one paying for all the trips. When I lost my job, we stopped travelling. We can afford it, but he doesn't want to fork over the money. While they weren't big, expensive trips to Europe, at least we were getting out of our awful home state. 

Anyways, our relationship is a disaster. Mainly due to his job, but he can't find anything that pays better anywhere else. We also can't take a paycut since I'm unable to find work. 

Still though, I would like to have children soon. My mother had me rather old and didn't get to enjoy many things like younger mothers did.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> I'm 25 and my H is 32 married for 3 years now and we decided not to have children at least for a couple more years( 5+)
> If you are childless is by wish or not? And what do you do in your spare time?
> Do you have hobbies together? We like to travel a lot and a lot of the weekends take a short break, the last one was to Paris.



Married 18 years , childless by choice.
We started off just like you, decided not to have any until after a few years and then I guess we got so comfortable that we never 
" revisited " that decision.

We have hobbies we do together like travelling , kayaking, cooking, and generally like dining out and social events.

We own a business together.

Yes, weekends are usually just for sex and fun.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> I'm 25 and my H is 32 married for 3 years now and we decided not to have children at least for a couple more years( 5+)
> If you are childless is by wish or not? And what do you do in your spare time?
> Do you have hobbies together? We like to travel a lot and a lot of the weekends take a short break, the last one was to Paris.


My H and I are childless for another 4 months!

We've been married for 8 year. We spent the first 3 years preparing financially and the next 4.5 trying to conceive. During that 4.5 we travel pretty often. Usually one or two big trips and more short getaways. 

We were involved in some community activities like little league FB and baseball and cheerleaders. Also we were in a bowling league and my FIL had us taking a lot of trips with a Black Skiers club.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

We are childless by choice though he has adult children from a previous marriage. Been married 22 years.

He spends a lot of time working but in his free time we do engage in a lot of activities together; mainly revolving around trips away or socialising.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

Childless by choice too. In our 30's. I love children, just don't feel any urge or special desire to bring them in my life now. I'm still, after many years, in the honeymoon phase with my sweetheart : I pour all my love on him: preparing him surprises, giving him massages, making love a lot, going on trips and doing fun things together, etc. Doing all these things take all of my time off. Plus, taking care of myself, staying happy and energized, that wouldn't be possible if I had babies to take care of. I don't want to give all this up, if I don't feel the urge to.
I don't close myself totally to the idea of becoming a mom someday, who knows. But now, this is perfect.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

My W and I thought about having kids but bought motorcycles instead.

It's a choice. Don't feel left out or quilted, and bare in mind that many BUT NOT ALL parents who gush about how great it is to have kids are just rationalizing it to themselves.

Notice I said many! There are many parents who truly wanted and had kids, too!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Childfree here..... and so is my fiance. I'm 53 and he is 42. I missed my chance in my first marriage. Long story..... he was ready but I wasn't. So it's good that we didn't.

My fiance is never married.

My fiance has said that we can have children if we want. But I think between the two of us, we have 8 nieces and nephews. I am sure there is a lot of scope for us to be parental as much as we want to be.


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

desertdog said:


> My spouse and I are the same ages as you and yours. I would like children in the next year or two, but he isn't ready. He keeps saying the job isn't right, he isn't home enough, I'm not ready. Just a million different reasons.
> 
> We have no hobbies together and no spare time. He's gone M-F and when he gets home, if it's nice out, he's out riding his motorcycle. Spare time is spent on home repairs/projects. We don't even like drinking together anymore.
> 
> ...



I'm so sorry to hear that, it's hard when you don't have nothing in common with your spouse.


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

Well if I'm brutally honest we don't want children at all. It's hard sometimes when we visit our friends and most of them have children and its so noisy with them around. I don't even like kids and to be around them it's very very hard for me and most of the time the main topics are....children what did he or she did at kindergarten and so on.


We were invited the other day on some friends twins first birthday, and I mean it was just absolutely crazy. The children were screaming, crying, I thought I was gone lose my mind and we only stayed for about an hour. 

How do you deal with this kind of situations?


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Kristisha said:


> Well if I'm brutally honest we don't want children at all. It's hard sometimes when we visit our friends and most of them have children and its so noisy with them around. I don't even like kids and to be around them it's very very hard for me and most of the time the main topics are....children what did he or she did at kindergarten and so on.
> 
> 
> We were invited the other day on some friends twins first birthday, and I mean it was just absolutely crazy. The children were screaming, crying, I thought I was gone lose my mind and we only stayed for about an hour.
> ...


Ha ha ha, I figured this is what you were actually getting st in your OP.

Friends of ours who had kids, and that's all they talk about, blah blah, we don't hang out with them and their kids. If their kids are all they talk about, we just don't hang with them at all. Most parents know that we don't give half a sh!t about their kids and won't talk about them, but the ones that talk about them incessantly, we just avoid. It sucks, but people are understandably touchy about their kids and don't like being told not to talk about them.

I wish those kinds of parents knew how grating it is to listen to them drone on about their kids. Like nails going down a chalkboard.

Plus, like you, we hate being around kids. They're loud, they don't mind, they break everything they touch, and you can't say anything to them because they're not your kids.

ETA: I know that sounds heartless and selfish, but it's no different than someone droning on about a hobby, ex-spouse, or something similar.


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## Just'me (Aug 3, 2012)

Davelli0331 said:


> Ha ha ha, I figured this is what you were actually getting st in your OP.
> 
> Friends of ours who had kids, and that's all they talk about, blah blah, we don't hang out with them and their kids. If their kids are all they talk about, we just don't hang with them at all. Most parents know that we don't give half a sh!t about their kids and won't talk about them, but the ones that talk about them incessantly, we just avoid. It sucks, but people are understandably touchy about their kids and don't like being told not to talk about them.
> 
> I wish those kinds of parents knew how grating it is to listen to them drone on about their kids. Like nails going down a chalkboard.


 you are so right!


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> Well if I'm brutally honest we don't want children at all. It's hard sometimes when we visit our friends and most of them have children and its so noisy with them around. I don't even like kids and to be around them it's very very hard for me and most of the time the main topics are....children what did he or she did at kindergarten and so on.
> 
> 
> We were invited the other day on some friends twins first birthday, and I mean it was just absolutely crazy. The children were screaming, crying, I thought I was gone lose my mind and we only stayed for about an hour.
> ...


I think somewhere on here is a thread about people not wanting kids and how they handle it. Personally if I didn't want kids and somebody had something to say about it I would tell them they could go kick rocks.


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

Davelli0331 said:


> Ha ha ha, I figured this is what you were actually getting st in your OP.
> 
> Friends of ours who had kids, and that's all they talk about, blah blah, we don't hang out with them and their kids. If their kids are all they talk about, we just don't hang with them at all. Most parents know that we don't give half a sh!t about their kids and won't talk about them, but the ones that talk about them incessantly, we just avoid. It sucks, but people are understandably touchy about their kids and don't like being told not to talk about them.
> 
> ...





You read my mind! we very very rarely invite them to our house because i get pissed when they break something or touch something they are not allowed... 


Our family its pretty big and every single one of my brothers in law have children and because of that, we lets say are more private. This is why we see each other rarely 3-4 times a year because of the kids. 


But when we do have to meet ,Dear Lord have mercy , i cant wait to go home...


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Kristisha said:


> Well if I'm brutally honest we don't want children at all. It's hard sometimes when we visit our friends and most of them have children and its so noisy with them around. I don't even like kids and to be around them it's very very hard for me and most of the time the main topics are....children what did he or she did at kindergarten and so on.
> 
> 
> We were invited the other day on some friends twins first birthday, and I mean it was just absolutely crazy. The children were screaming, crying, I thought I was gone lose my mind and we only stayed for about an hour.
> ...


CFBC. 

Come to think of it I don't have many friends with children. I'm 45 and I think I drifted apart from most of them over the years. One that I do still have I'll generally only meet at a bar. Conversation is still usually kids but it's still easier.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Yes but no. Or is it, no but yes? Or sort of?

I have a D16 from my first marriage and my new wife is most certainly a very good mother to her. 

But as a "couple" one could say we're childless. Something we're currently working on. 

IUI 1 - BFN 
IUI 2 - Incomplete :scratchhead:
IVF - Should start around the 22nd of this month when her cycle comes around again. Fingers crossed. Can't think of a better way to tank my early retirement plans. lol :smthumbup:


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Kristisha said:


> Well if I'm brutally honest we don't want children at all. It's hard sometimes when we visit our friends and most of them have children and its so noisy with them around. I don't even like kids and to be around them it's very very hard for me and most of the time the main topics are....children what did he or she did at kindergarten and so on.
> 
> 
> We were invited the other day on some friends twins first birthday, and I mean it was just absolutely crazy. The children were screaming, crying, I thought I was gone lose my mind and we only stayed for about an hour.
> ...


I'm childfree as well and on the rare occasions that my friends think I'd like to go to a kid party, I almost invariably send a gift and my regrets that I have a prior commitment that day. That commitment might be cleaning my bathroom, but hey--it's a commitment :smthumbup:

And like Charlie P mentioned, I've grown away from all but a very few of my friends that have kids. Not entirely intentionally, but I just end up doing more with the people that can go and do things without a month of juggling mom, dad, school and nanny schedules just to book a tee time or grab some dinner. That's just life and not really any different to me that a friend moving away for work or something. Now that my friends' kids are getting a little older, I'm reconnecting to some degree with a few of them, but fundamentally we're just in different places. And it's really okay!


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## toomuchtotell (May 13, 2013)

Kids were never really on mine or my husbands agenda, so here we are almost 40 and childless. However, in the past year I have been coming around to the idea of having a baby. My husband doesn't really want one but will have one if that's what I want to do. I don't think it's something we will move forward with though, because we are having other problems in our marriage and would not be a good environment to bring a child in.  That being said, pretty much ALL my friends, relatives and coworkers age 30+ have kids, so of course all conversation I have with pretty much anyone is about children.


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## stopandmakecoffee (Jan 2, 2013)

Kristisha said:


> I'm 25 and my H is 32 married for 3 years now and we decided not to have children at least for a couple more years( 5+)
> If you are childless is by wish or not? And what do you do in your spare time?
> Do you have hobbies together? We like to travel a lot and a lot of the weekends take a short break, the last one was to Paris.


when i still had a marriage, yes. we agreed not to have children.
what did we do in our spare time : working.
our hobbies together : watching movies with big screen in our bedroom.

no sex life for years, tho


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

toomuchtotell said:


> Kids were never really on mine or my husbands agenda, so here we are almost 40 and childless. However, in the past year I have been coming around to the idea of having a baby. My husband doesn't really want one but will have one if that's what I want to do. I don't think it's something we will move forward with though, because we are having other problems in our marriage and would not be a good environment to bring a child in.  That being said, pretty much ALL my friends, relatives and coworkers age 30+ have kids, so of course all conversation I have with pretty much anyone is about children.



This sucks especially when you bored and this topic doesn't interested u at all


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## plasmasunn (Apr 3, 2013)

I'm going on 30 and we're childless by choice. I absolutely love it, however, we have very little free time as it is. Hubs and I have opposite work schedules, I work 60+ hours a week and our weekends seem to fill up quickly with family obligations now that we've moved back close to home. 

I don't mind kids at all. I actually enjoy being around other people's kids if it happens, but I don't go out of my way to seek them out. We have many friends with kids, but generally, we visit with our friends, not their kids. We have nieces as well, and see them often and I'm very happy with the "cool aunt" title. Much less terrifying and daunting than "mom." 

I also don't mind people talking about their children and showing pictures...as long as they're aware that I will then talk THEIR ear off about cute things our dogs do.  

When we do get time to ourselves, we're generally so pooped that we just cuddle on the couch and watch TV. Go out for dinner/drinks when we can and make sure to take a weekend trip every other month. But next year...we're going to Jamaica for our very first *real* vacation! If we had kids...it would never happen.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Kristisha said:


> I'm 25 and my H is 32 married for 3 years now and we decided not to have children at least for a couple more years( 5+)
> If you are childless is by wish or not? And what do you do in your spare time?
> Do you have hobbies together? We like to travel a lot and a lot of the weekends take a short break, the last one was to Paris.


Putting it off for 5 years seems like a major decision. So much can change over that course of time and by then you will be 30 and he will be 37. I think it would be more wise to say, "lets put it off for a year and then reevaluate where we are."


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

We do not have kids, not by choice as we both want them. We have been married for 8 years and have very few if any hobbies that we do together. We spend very little time doing fun activities together. Thus, our marriage is getting ever so closer to a sad ending I feel.


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

gbrad said:


> Putting it off for 5 years seems like a major decision. So much can change over that course of time and by then you will be 30 and he will be 37. I think it would be more wise to say, "lets put it off for a year and then reevaluate where we are."


 That's why I said in the next post that we actually don't want children at all, because I personally don't like kids at all( and I tried to change the way I feel, the way I am but it's just not happening) I mean some maybe be cute for a few minutes watching them but for me this is kind of the limit. As for my hubby well he can pull it of when he is around children maybe because he have 6 siblings but he doesn't like kids either


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Kristisha said:


> That's why I said in the next post that we actually don't want children at all, because I personally don't like kids at all( and I tried to change the way I feel, the way I am but it's just not happening) I mean some maybe be cute for a few minutes watching them but for me this is kind of the limit. As for my hubby well he can pull it of when he is around children maybe because he have 6 siblings but he doesn't like kids either


If you are comfortable with that decision then that is great. Some people just are not meant to have children. Then again there are many people who end up having children who really should not have while many people who would be good parents don't get the chance, sad.


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

I couldn't agree more


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

Yes, childless here; we are both in our early-mid 20's and have only been married 2 years, we're still learning how to take care of each other!  My dogs are my kids for right now, and I spoil them accordingly.

I miscarried last year, and I do sometimes wish I had carried that child to term, but I know in the long run that we will be in a better place as a couple when we re-evaluate (in 2 years).


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## MrsTitoFrito (Jul 15, 2013)

Husband is 29 and I am 25. We've chosen not to have kids for awhile. We've been married for almost 2 years and both agree that we want to be in the best financial position possible. We're currently saving up for our first house, He just got a new car (You're welcome!) and adding a baby into this would be counterproductive. To be honest, iving the childless life is a lot of fun. We're able to go out with fiends. Drink as much as we want. We're able to hop up and say, "Hey, let's drive down to the lake this weekend." Career wise having a child is not the best move either. His business is up and running and I just got promoted. I'm sure once we truly settle into our lives, the babies will come. 

And they will come. We want at least 4 kids.  Husband wants more, but I'm not having that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Allltuvx (Jul 16, 2013)

I knew as a kid I did not want children. I was fascinated by some people we knew who had dogs who had all these great toys and treats. 

I was from a very large family where we siblings had to share so many things.

Same with dh. 

We wanted dogs and have loved the decision.

I liked working with kids while earning money for university and enjoy other peoples' kids.

Also have noticed how expensive kids are now and especially colleges, but that was not my motivation not to have them. 

Now, though, we know of some couples who are working and putting a lot of their money paying for degrees and neglecting their retirement funds.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

I am 29 my wife is 23 we will be having children as soon as possible probably about a maximum of 3.


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Kristisha said:


> How do you deal with this kind of situations?


I have 2 kids. A toddler and a new born.

Life can be completely crazy at times. What with sibling rivalry and all the diapers and poop and all that.

But then when I sit down with my wife, both of us exhausted and look at the kids. The only thought in my mind is immense gratitude for Gods mercy in blessing us both with such lovely children.

Its those simple moments that make it all worth it.


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## Ryan_sa (May 8, 2012)

Weve been together for + - 11 years, and married for 2. We have a great relationship, and lots and lots of animals, I suppose the animals kind of make up for not having kids. 
There isn't really any reason we've never had them, time just seems to slip buy and were never quite ready. It always seems to be next year.


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