# I love my wife but she wants to separate



## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

My wife and I together 5 years, two breaks ups and then marriage. It was rocky 2 weeks after our marriage. We had to sell the house in a nice neighborhood because we both couldnt afford it any longer. She told me she is mad at me because of this. We relocated to another neighborhood and things just got worse. 

Ever since I have known my wife she has wanted kids. I can not have kids but we took the adoption route and also through the state. I took the classes and asked if she wanted me at her appts. She always said no need to go to the appts they werent that important. Later she would say I didnt support her with adoption or took the initiative. I could go either way having kids or not.

After we moved into our new house life wasnt great. Around Christmas we both had a melt down. I asked why she married me and her response was she didnt know. I took off for 6 hours and came home to a pissed off wife. We said we would figure out divorce once the holidays were over. I made every attempt to make things right.

Adoption is the key to making her happy. Months go by and nothing really to do, I get a new job that doesnt pay anything and I become depressed. She is making most of all the payments to the house and then Christmas rolls around again. I make every attempt to buy her something cool and she buys me an expensive watch.

Around this time after sex she asks if I was cheating on her and I found it strange she would ask this right after love making. I started thinking and I started snooping. She was late home Thursday night, went straight from work to dinner with a girl friend that was here for the weekend. Saturday i text her and she was in the mountains with this so called friend. I was amp to firgure this out and come that Monday I looked at her phone. There was an out of state number that read Morning. I copied the number and all day tried to figure out who this person was. Come to find out its a man that lives in TX but visits here on business. So it all made since. This special friend was a guy so I confronted her on this and she denied and pushed the guilt my way. I have a lesbian friend that she knows about but keeps forgetting I say hello from time to time. She went through my phone and saw I erased text, which is true, only to hide the fact I am talking to my friend about her.

My wife is freaking hot and has an amazing body. Her outside is stunning but her inside is ugly. She hasnt been the nicest to me in the past and I think her beauty out weighs her ugliness. She tells me she isnt a very lovable person, she told me she wasnt inlove with me when we got married. I would tell her she is the love of my life and she wouldnt have a responce. After I confronted her we agreed to go to counseling but only once. Before we couldnt make it to our next appointment we talked and she wanted to separate. I quit my job and got another in hopes to make admins. She told me I could stay there as long as I wanted but it was taring me up inside.

2 weeks pass and she took a phone call late at night and I snooped, she was talking then it stopped and I believe she was having phone sex. I cant prove it but when your heart hurts this much I think I could imagine anything. I cried my heart out and left to go somewhere but ended up sleeping in my car. Went to work the next day and just was blown away. I spoke with her again that following Thursday and said we have to fight for this marriage. Said this our Ironman and there is much work to be done before we can get to a finish line. I poured my heart out and was called in to work on Saturday to be let go. Saying I was to much of an emotional wreck. I went home broken and my wife got home and I let it all out. First time I have ever cried on her shoulder. She went out and got happy food and tried her best to help.

The following day I decided to snoop again on her computer and found an email telling this guy she wants head over the hills love and not sure he can provide her with that, left it open. She left for Crested Butte for the weekend "alone" and I decided to email this to her. She wrote back I am sorry. I started moving my things and before she got home I was totally moved out. I had 2 panic attacks and hyperventilated and thought I would die while she was away. I told her about this and she said she cant get one weekend alone. I told her if she didnt write that ****ing email none of this would matter. I told her to **** off and for being selfish. Later I gave her a hug and left.

Later I wrote her an email saying I will always and continue to love you. Her reply was I love you too. She wants to separate to figure out her feelings. She says she loves me but not inlove with me. I told her what she wants to do, divorce or what and she says she doesnt know. Today I text her because she was going in for IVF and said good luck. She said thank you, I said I will pray this for you and said I love you. No responce I said sorry that was to much I like you. She smiled and I said which do you prefer, her response was Neither right now. 

I am devastated, my heart is broke, stepped on and crushed. She doesnt have any remorse or care it seems. I dont know what to do and how to do it. I am on meds but they cant hide the fact how much pain I am in. I dont understand how I could love someone who has been nothing but mean to me.


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## Kendall (Feb 6, 2014)

sqrd2008 said:


> My wife and I together 5 years, two breaks ups and then marriage. It was rocky 2 weeks after our marriage. We had to sell the house in a nice neighborhood because we both couldnt afford it any longer. She told me she is mad at me because of this. We relocated to another neighborhood and things just got worse. Ever since I have known my wife she has wanted kids. I can not have kids but we took the adoption route and also through the state. I took the classes and asked if she wanted me at her appts. She always said no need to go to the appts they werent that important. Later she would say I didnt support her with adoption or took the initiative. I could go either way having kids or not. After we moved into our new house life wasnt great. Around christmas we both had a melt down. I asked why she married me and her response was she didnt know. I took off for 6 hours and came home to a pissed off wife. We said we would figure out divorce once the holidays were over. I made every attempt to make things right. Adoption is the key to making her happy. Months go by and nothing really to do, I get a new job that doesnt pay anything and I become depressed. She is making most of all the payments to the house and then Christmas rolls around again. I make every attempt to buy her something cool and she buys me an expensive watch. Around this time after sex she asks if I was cheating on her and I found it strange she would ask this right after love making. I started thinking and I started snooping. She was late home Thursday night, went straight from work to dinner with a girl friend that was here for the weekend. Saturday i text her and she was in the mountains with this so called friend. I was amp to firgure this out and come that Monday I looked at her phone. There was an out of state number that read Morning. I copied the number and all day tried to figure out who this person was. Come to find out its a man that lives in TX but visits here on business. So it all made since. This special friend was a guy so I confronted her on this and she denied and pushed the guilt my way. I have a lesbian friend that she knows about but keeps forgetting I say hello from time to time. She went through my phone and saw I erased text, which is true, only to hide the fact I am talking to my friend about her. My wife is freaking hot and has an amazing body. Her outside is stunning but her inside is ugly. She hasnt been the nicest to me in the past and I think her beauty out weighs her ugliness. She tells me she isnt a very lovable person, she told me she wasnt inlove with me when we got married. I would tell her she is the love of my life and she wouldnt have a responce. After I confronted her we agreed to go to counseling but only once. Before we couldnt make it to our next appointment we talked and she wanted to separate. I quit my job and got another in hopes to make admins. She told me I could stay there as long as I wanted but it was taring me up inside. 2 weeks pass and she took a phone call late at night and I snooped, she was talking then it stopped and I believe she was having phone sex. I cant prove it but when your heart hurts this much I think I could imagine anything. I cried my heart out and left to go somewhere but ended up sleeping in my car. Went to work the next day and just was blown away. I spoke with her again that following thursday and said we have to fight for this marriage. Said this our Ironman and there is much work to be done before we can get to a finish line. I poured my heart out and was called in to work on Saturday to be let go. Saying I was to much of an emotional wreck. I went home broken and my wife got home and I let it all out. First time I have ever cried on her shoulder. She went out and got happy food and tried her best to help. The following day I decided to snoop again on her computer and found an email telling this guy she wants head over the hills love and not sure he can provide her with that, left it open. She left for Crested Butte for the weekend "alone" and I decided to email this to her. She wrote back I am sorry. I started moving my things and before she got home I was totally moved out. I had 2 panic attacks and hyperventilated and thought I would die while she was away. I told her about this and she said she cant get one weekend alone. I told her if she didnt write that ****ing email none of this would matter. I told her to **** off and for being selfish. Later I gave her a hug and left. Later I wrote her an email saying I will always and continue to love you. Her reply was I love you too. She wants to separate to figure out her feelings. She says she loves me but not inlove with me. I told her what she wants to do, divorce or what and she says she doesnt know. Today I text her because she was going in for IVF and said good luck. She said thank you, I said I will pray this for you and said I love you. No responce I said sorry that was to much I like you. She smiled and I said which do you prefer, her response was Neither right now.
> 
> I am devastated, my heart is broke, stepped on and crushed. She doesnt have any remorse or care it seems. I dont know what to do and how to do it. I am on meds but they cant hide the fact how much pain I am in. I dont understand how I could love someone who has been nothing but mean to me.


One word, not intended to provoke:

Paragraphs.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

She is having IVS? Really? Seriously? She doesn't sound like parent material. At all.


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

She went in today and next week doing tests, no I hope she get pregnant to prove that her fantasy isnt real


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Does she have any mental health issues?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Why did you let her get an IvF treatment at this point in time?

The last thing you need


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

I cant prove she has mental problems, she is on Zoloft for depression but I cant rule out anything more. I cant not stop her from getting IVS, I am not responsible at this point. She can do what ever she wants. She cheated and she ran my credit illegally so I have things to protect myself.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

OP

She may be attractive, but she is also a who**'re. She has been cheating on you. You should show her only contempt, not tears. Hate her guts, be pisssed off at how much of your life you have wasted on her, detach from her and move on with your life.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

1) quit crying in front of her
2) quit telling her you love her.
3) don't be needy
4) get No More Mr Nice Guy 
5) read it and apply it
6) get Married Mans Sex Life Primer
7) read it and apply it
8) detach emotionaly
9) if she continues with OM dump her sorry ass.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

sqrd

Read "No More Nice Guy" by Robert Glover.

Then follow Thounds advice.

Your wife does not love you.

Your wife does not respect you.

but worse than that your wife does not love or respect herself.

How on earth do you think you can have a relationship with a person like that?

Worse, if she cannot be faithful to you or your marriage how on earth does she think she can be a good mother???

HM


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Your right she is a F**king wh**re. She wont get anymore tears from me. I am going to Florida for 2 weeks, get laid and have fun. Its spring break down there and plenty of sun. I use to be an ass**le its time for him to come back. I just needed a kick in the rear to make me understand how much of a loser she really is. Needy no more and love her, whos that? I am filing on the 26th after I relax from all the fun I will be having.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

No kids?

*RUN!!! GTFO!!!*


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

Sqrd2008, filing for divorce is only constructive step you can take in your current situation. You need to do it as soon as you can. It's rather clear that, on romantic level, your wife doesn't care about you at all. Women don't respect weak men so quit crying in front of her and telling her how much you love her. She doesn't care. 

Just file for a divorce and start emotionally detaching from her. There's no future for you with this woman. The sooner you realize this, the better your life will be.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> No kids?
> 
> *RUN!!! GTFO!!!*


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

sqrd2008 said:


> Your right she is a F**king wh**re. She wont get anymore tears from me. I am going to Florida for 2 weeks, get laid and have fun. Its spring break down there and plenty of sun. I use to be an ass**le its time for him to come back. I just needed a kick in the rear to make me understand how much of a loser she really is. Needy no more and love her, whos that? I am filing on the 26th after I relax from all the fun I will be having.



Actually, it would be smarter if you filed for a divorce first.


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

I am far from being a weak man, this was out of the blue and hit me like a bat in the night. I am sorry most men would crumble if this happened to them. Its only been a few weeks since I moved out. Your right she doesnt love me or respect me, she is a sad soul who will be a sad old lady with a kid that doesnt like her. I appreciate your advice Adriana and everyone else. I am taking life by the balls and doing something about it. She is old news and I will file tomorrow.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

sqrd2008 said:


> I cant not stop her from getting IVS, I am not responsible at this point. She can do what ever she wants.


You're on the verge of divorce and you think you can't stop her from getting pregnant with a child that you will be supporting for the next 18 years or more?

Sure you can. 

It's called a "court order".


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

lenzi said:


> You're on the verge of divorce and you think you can't stop her from getting pregnant with a child that you will be supporting for the next 18 years or more?
> 
> Sure you can.
> 
> It's called a "court order".


Well then I will take everyones advice and do it tomorrow!!!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lenzi said:


> You're on the verge of divorce and you think you can't stop her from getting pregnant with a child that you will be supporting for the next 18 years or more?
> 
> Sure you can.
> 
> It's called a "court order".





sqrd2008 said:


> Well then I will take everyones advice and do it tomorrow!!!


File ASAP, ESPECIALLY if you happen to live in a state in which you would be declared the father by default (by sole virtue of being her legal spouse when any children are born).


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

sqrd2008 said:


> She told me she is mad at me because of this.
> 
> She always said no need to go to the appts they werent that important. Later she would say I didnt support her with adoption or took the initiative.
> 
> ...


I kind of stopped after that because it's the same pattern over and over again. I see it, and I'm sure the many posters here will tell you the same thing, regardless of whether she's cheating or not this is such an imbalanced relationship you probably have no hopes of fixing it because it's not about you.

She never loved you..or words to that effect now she wants out. She's even telling her OM she wants a love even he can't provide her..at least she's being honest.

There is no ironman, there is nothing to fight for, give her papers and let her go.

She's just not that into you dude.

Sorry.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

When you see the lawyer be sure to bring up the IVF so that he can file a cease and desist order as well.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

sqrd2008 said:


> Your right she is a F**king wh**re. She wont get anymore tears from me. *I am going to Florida for 2 weeks, get laid and have fun.* Its spring break down there and plenty of sun. *I use to be an ass**le its time for him to come back.* I just needed a kick in the rear to make me understand how much of a loser she really is. Needy no more and love her, whos that? I am filing on the 26th after I relax from all the fun I will be having.


Divorce would be the best choice for the two of you. You seem to be just as immature as your wife. Going out to get laid? If I'm a betting man, you would want to reconcile with your wife after that and then keep your indiscretions to yourself.

You say you used to be an a$$hole. What's that mean, that you used to be a cheater, stole other guys' GF's or sleep with married women? Maybe you are getting run over by the "karma bus" that is so popular around here.

Regardless of whether you try to reconcile or divorce, you should definitely seek out some IC for yourself. It sounds like you have a lot of maturity issues to deal with plus it appears your marriage was a love/hate situation that could have been stronger if both you and your wife were more mature.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

Strange story, or maybe it's me this morning. Going to Florida is a good thing. When you leave, say goodbye. Nothing else. She deserves the bare minimum of info. Tell her you will be back on so and so day. But show up earlier. See if she brings POS to your house. Either way file before you leave, detach to the max, make her really feel it. You know like the way she is giving it to you. NO MORE TEARS!! bro. I know you want to, most guys do break down to show that somewhat sensitive side, to their SO. But what really happens when there is betrayal, it only shows a bit of weakness. Now is the time to be strong. Up your sex rank, make her see what she really is losing. She may be attractive and all that. But it sounds like she is a chocolate covered pile of pooh. 
I dated a woman for about two months in my single days, man she really liked what I had to offer, whatever that means. She sounded sweet and innocent and was a major babe. I found out she was through my girl cousins from school, that she was a wretched beast. Lucky for me my girl cousins doted on me and my brothers. You know good looking out for family. My point is we here at TAM/CWI are looking out for you. We don't know you but we know the story. Listen up, I did, so can you. No kids to boot. Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you. Good luck.


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

sqrd2008 said:


> My wife and I together 5 years, two breaks ups and then marriage. It was rocky 2 weeks after our marriage. We had to sell the house in a nice neighborhood because we both couldnt afford it any longer. She told me she is mad at me because of this. We relocated to another neighborhood and things just got worse.
> 
> Ever since I have known my wife she has wanted kids. I can not have kids but we took the adoption route and also through the state. I took the classes and asked if she wanted me at her appts. She always said no need to go to the appts they werent that important. Later she would say I didnt support her with adoption or took the initiative. I could go either way having kids or not.
> 
> ...


See underlined.
Even before the OM is in the picture, we're looking at 'Disaster' written all over this marriage.

Don't do what I did and stay in a shaky-to-toxic marriage of which both myself and wife tried to paper over the cracks.
Oh yeah, my wife is very attractive and also has a great body but the fights and arguments we had far outweighed any semblance of 'Love, Honor, Obey'.
I look back now and wish I'd divorced her back in 2009...

It's up to you.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Thound said:


> 1) quit crying in front of her
> 2) quit telling her you love her.
> 3) don't be needy
> 4) get No More Mr Nice Guy
> ...


Follow this list, all you have done so far has been to act like a little girl. You think her boyfriend acts like that?


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## SF-FAN (Sep 24, 2013)

Yeah man, crying and telling her you love her is all bad. My WW did WAY worse than what your wife is doing (from what I read) and not once did I shed a tear. We live apart now and I only talk to her about the kids. On her "nice" days, she tries to talk to me about other things and I don't engage in the conversation. I act very indifferent and she sees that. Don't waste your tears or emotions on women like your wife. They don't care and it just fuels their cheating ways.


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Divorce would be the best choice for the two of you. You seem to be just as immature as your wife. Going out to get laid? If I'm a betting man, you would want to reconcile with your wife after that and then keep your indiscretions to yourself.
> 
> You say you used to be an a$$hole. What's that mean, that you used to be a cheater, stole other guys' GF's or sleep with married women? Maybe you are getting run over by the "karma bus" that is so popular around here.
> 
> Regardless of whether you try to reconcile or divorce, you should definitely seek out some IC for yourself. It sounds like you have a lot of maturity issues to deal with plus it appears your marriage was a love/hate situation that could have been stronger if both you and your wife were more mature.



I have to apologize in saying I am going to Florida to get laid, I am taking time for myself to reflex on myself. I am immature and hurt and crushed and for me to say I am going to get laid was poor judgement. I wouldn't keep this from her nor would I try to save the marriage after all this. 

She does love me or did and for her to say she wasn't in love with me when we got married was a jab at my ego. She did back track this statement to me a few weeks ago as she does have some remorse for the things she says. 

She has a lot of problems of selfishness, this was told to me in the very beginning of our relationship. A red flag I chose to ignore. Many red flags I chose to ignore because of our history of growing up together. I thought for sure we were meant to be. In 1986 she sprayed painted her name Hearts my name. Took a picture of it and kept it until we started dating. 

She has a checkered past with an alcoholic father and an verbal abusive mother. She hasn't a clue of what happiness is let alone what love is, and when it gets heavy she pushes away. She has been engaged 3 times before me and more red flags. 

I do believe she was in love with me at one time but has used me for her advantage after we got back together the second time. She wants a child and is willing to do anything to achieve her goal. Its a hard reality I have to admit to myself and grow up. I read No more Mr Nice Guy last night. I really enjoyed reading that book and will reread so I can truly understand it. 

I cried on my wife shoulder because I got fired from that new job I inquired, I felt I have lost everything and it just poured out of me. I have never cried in front of my wife not once until then. I am a nice guy who put her needs ahead of mine and I expected so much in return. I am the one to blame not my wife for how my relationship turned out. I know this now and I am moving forward. I will give her no satisfaction of knowing how i am going to turn my life around for me and for me to succeed in life. I am starting a men's group on Friday nights to relearn what it is to be a man again. I am a boy stuck in a mans body. Scared and frighten of my future. We had a lot of great times together and a lot of bad times, I chose to remember the good ones as I need to be more positive and not so scare. I moved out and I do not see her or talk with her. I have to let go and move on.

She admits to still talking with him last time we talked which was two weeks ago before I moved out.

Here is her email I found:

I've been doing some thinking... I mentioned to you that I'm going to have a hard time trusting you and I feel like you're hiding something from me. From what I can tell, it doesn't feel to me that you've changed much from that guy that hurt me so many years ago. I know you'll deny this and I'm not looking for any explanation. If you really felt they way you say you do about me, it would be more apparent in your actions. Like I said before, I want a relationship where we are both crazy about one another and who share everything... a partnership. I don't want to get myself into a situation where I don't feel I can trust someone, who doesn't share everything with me, which I know, is ironic given the situation I've gotten myself into. 

I feel I should thank you though, sqrd2008 and I had a talk last night, I told him how I'm feeling, that I'm not in love with him any longer and we're going to separate. You made me realize that I want that head over heels love and you pushed me into doing something about it.

I'll be honest, part of me wishes you would prove me wrong. But I think, if you're honest with me and yourself, you'll realize or already know, 'us' isn't what you really want. I don't know, I don't know what you've been thinking or what's going through your head.

I'm not sure how to end this email... So, I'll just leave it at that. Hope it makes some sense.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

IVF treatments are pricy anyways.. where on earth is the money coming from for all that if you aren't employed?


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Allen_A said:


> IVF treatments are pricy anyways.. where on earth is the money coming from for all that if you aren't employed?


Her mom supports her, always has. There is nothing she has that her mom hasnt bought or help pay for. She has taken money from her mother and also asked for money. Latest thing a few months ago she was wanting a new car. Her car was fine, old but ran great and it could last 5 more years. She was looking at the new 4 runners and I met up with her one night to test drive them. After a lot of negotiating they dropped the price from 50k to 40k, but she asked her mom for 20k so she could afford it. We couldnt afford it but she did it anyways. 

She tried getting pregnant before with hormones shots and they would take frozen sperm and inject it inside her. She tried 6 times and it never worked. Her mom paid for all of this, plus she went back to school for nursing and her mom paid for her expenses. She has no relationship with her mom other than her money. Her mom works and that all, her father passed in 99 and her mom is worth a little over a million because her mom does nothing fun for herself just work.

I started a job back in June and I didn't make anything, enough to pay for internet and satellite. Sad yes, it was an embarrassment. When I did make money I gave it to her and out of the 7 months working there I paid for mortgage 4 times. When we talked about separating I said I will move in with my parents so I can help pay mortgage and she said if your not living her I dont want your money. So I am not paying anything toward the house or her. My name isn't on the deed but I have put a lot of money into the house, remodeling. After my divorce I am going to put a lean on her house and try to get money I put into the home previously and the current one. I am also thinking about suing her for illegally running a credit background check through her work, with out my knowledge, i might sue her work and get her fired but not sure if I am the vindictive.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

She hasn't expresses any desire to reconcile or get back together?

Get the book MMSLP linked to below, its also at amazon and can be downloaded. That's where you start if you are wanting to man up. The title may sound like a sex manual, its not. It is relationship guide for men and will explain so much to you will be recommending to other men

Good luck


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> She hasn't expresses any desire to reconcile or get back together?
> 
> Get the book MMSLP linked to below, its also at amazon and can be downloaded. That's where you start if you are wanting to man up. The title may sound like a sex manual, its not. It is relationship guide for men and will explain so much to you will be recommending to other men
> 
> Good luck


I am not sure if i want to make up with my wife or not, after reading everyone's posts I feel I would be much better if I started over by myself and started to grow up. I cant go back with her as i am now, I have to relearn my life and get a job and be the man I once was. She hasnt made any attempt to get back together as she said she needs time to figure out what she wants. I will change for the better and she will be stuck in the same person she has always been. Nothing good can come from someone who doesnt want to change. She is a lost soul and will be 80 say what the hell did I just do to those I loved or thought I loved.

I did look up the MMSLP and just bought it on kindle.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Has she ever said she would be willing to go to individual counseling or marriage counseling?

There is also a MMSLP blog......http://marriedmansexlife.com/blog/


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> Has she ever said she would be willing to go to individual counseling or marriage counseling?
> 
> There is also a MMSLP blog......Blog | Married Man Sex Life


We did go to counseling once and my counselor that I still see says she has never seen someone so detached. Usually both are wanting to change but she said my wife was no engaging in the session. We stopped going after that one time as the next week she told me she wanted to separate.

We did talk about going separately but I am the only one who has been going to see someone. She just said it to say it out loud but like I said she is beyond selfish and will never change.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Just make sure that when you talk to her you let her know that if she gets pregnant that your not going to be the dad and I would get that in writing.


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

6301 said:


> Just make sure that when you talk to her you let her know that if she gets pregnant that your not going to be the dad and I would get that in writing.



The OP needs to file for a divorce and have her served the divorce petition by a professional process server. This is the only effective measure to protect himself from paying child support. Even a written, and signed by his wife, statement can be successfully challenged and overturned in the court if a child is born.


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Ok more news I just like the fact I can spill it on here and get good advice.

If you scroll back to when I texted her saying I love like you and she didnt have much of a response. She did text me saying I hope I didnt offend you or hurt your feelings. I wrote back I will check in with you by the end of the month and Happy Anniversary on the 17th. That was what 2 days ago? 

I just keep on keeping on with my life, working out and really striving to better myself, reading all the books you guys are offering and its helping me a ton. I thank you. 

Tonight I got a text from her, she asked if I wanted to go to Dinner Monday night? I said I will be out of town till the 26th. She said ok another time. I said fine I leave the 15th. I didnt want to tell her I was going anywhere just because its none of her business these days. 

I just find it odd that after what she has put me through she wanted to go celebrate our anniversary! What would we talk about, would I even make eye contact, would she try to sleep with me, who knows. 

I do have to say one thing and i am sure I will get shlack for it, but in my heart of hearts I know she has done something bad. I cant prove anything other than that email I shared with you people. This guy lives in TX and we live in CO. I do think she met the guy and did something, I do believe she went to Crested Butte not alone, although she said she was alone. To many lies to keep track of. But I will say this, I dont like making false accusations with out proof. I am not a jealous man never have been, I been cheated on before years ago in my twenties. Its the lying I will not stand for as this is one of my major pet peeves. I know that she did something who will ever really know, I do know she is having an emotional affair and this guy made her believe she isnt in love or never been in love with me, he pushed her and she made a choice to follow through. 

She is saying every scripted word from those website of the 6 things your wife will say if she is cheating. I love you but not in love with you. I need my space to figure out my feelings...etc. 

I am a man who believes in honesty and I will not stoop to her level and falsely accuse her of sleeping with another man. In a weird way regardless of what she has done to me, she is still human and we all make mistakes. I have to allow myself not to assume and let it play out. 

The whole baby thing will be discussed with my attorney along with the credit background check she did on me. I am going to cover my ass in case this gets out of control. 

After tonight I am on the fence on what to do, but I know in the long run I will be single again. This will have to play out and see what happens. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I DONT want to ever go through this again. I am trying very hard to emotionally detach from her and its not very easy. For those who have been through it, its easy for you now, allow me to go through this and learn from my mistakes and learn what to do and what not to do. This is the only way I will learn to be the man I have always wanted to become. 

I thank everyone for the advice as its helping so much you dont understand. You all are incredible people and should I ever meet you I would gladly shake your hands.


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

Be very careful. Who knows what she has up her sleeve... Keep your distance and dont agree to anything. Talk with your lawyer asap. Do not meet her in private. Its over with her brother. Read that a few times- its over for SURE.

It will suck for now, but there is a good future for you. Its good to hear youre working out as that does all sorts of wonderful things for your mind and body.

For future relationships, you need to avoid being a Beta male. Remember, your life has value regardless of any woman in it; you merely share the fruits of your life with a lucky lady. You must be confident in who you are as a man, and the path to that confidence starts NOW. You need to be able to tear a Herring with any woman no matter her wit or beauty. A woman is attracted to a man who can LEAD. He may lead by laughter, by force, by charm, or by wit- but its leading nonetheless. Whats your way of leading?


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

OptimisticPessimist said:


> Be very careful. Who knows what she has up her sleeve... Keep your distance and dont agree to anything. Talk with your lawyer asap. Do not meet her in private. Its over with her brother. Read that a few times- its over for SURE.
> 
> It will suck for now, but there is a good future for you. Its good to hear youre working out as that does all sorts of wonderful things for your mind and body.
> 
> For future relationships, you need to avoid being a Beta male. Remember, your life has value regardless of any woman in it; you merely share the fruits of your life with a lucky lady. You must be confident in who you are as a man, and the path to that confidence starts NOW. You need to be able to tear a Herring with any woman no matter her wit or beauty. A woman is attracted to a man who can LEAD. He may lead by laughter, by force, by charm, or by wit- but its leading nonetheless. Whats your way of leading?


I lead with humor, I can make anyone laugh. I am a fun loving person who enjoys bring a smile to peoples faces. I also have charm, very witty and just all around a good person.


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

> My wife is freaking hot and has an amazing body. Her outside is stunning but her inside is ugly. She hasnt been the nicest to me in the past and I think her beauty out weighs her ugliness. She tells me she isnt a very lovable person, she told me she wasnt inlove with me when we got married.


Why is this women worth fighting for??? Your letting the other head below the belt do the thinking for you. You like shallow women based off one quality but what happens when that beauty fades? You need to evaluate yourself about the type of women you choose to be with. Looks alone ain't $h!t.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

> I've been doing some thinking... I mentioned to you that I'm going to have a hard time trusting you and I feel like you're hiding something from me. *After all I am was hiding our affair from my husband, so I know that there are people who lie and cheat. Call it my personal insight into the human heart.*From what I can tell, it doesn't feel to me that you've changed much from that guy that hurt me so many years ago.*I am not a better person either... I guess that is why we are drawn to each other.*I know you'll deny this and I'm not looking for any explanation. *Besides you can't believe what cheaters say.*If you really felt they way you say you do about me, it would be more apparent in your actions. *I know you just want me for sex and it hurts.*Like I said before, I want a relationship where we are both crazy about one another and who share everything... a partnership. *I don't know exactly what that is but I know that I am not in one with my husband.*I don't want to get myself into a situation where I don't feel I can trust someone, who doesn't share everything with me, which I know, is ironic given the situation I've gotten myself into. *I am a hypocrite, a cheater dreaming of being with someone who will never cheat.*
> 
> I feel I should thank you though, sqrd2008 and I had a talk last night, I told him how I'm feeling, that I'm not in love with him any longer and we're going to separate. You made me realize that I want that head over heels love and you pushed me into doing something about it. *Honesty is the best policy.*
> 
> ...


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

That was awesome thank you for writing that.

Theres more to her than looks. I understand what your saying, she was awesome in the beginning and thats who I fell in love with, the person she is today I am not so fawn of and always had hope the true person would emerge. 

I am not fighting for her, i am trying to get me together, sane and not damaged. I have already spoken with an attorney and since i am out of town I will follow up when I get back. 

Gratefully liking all your comments and again appreciate all of you.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Ive been to Crested Butte many times. It is a charming, isolated, romantic little mining/skiing town. If she met him there, then they consumated. 

I'm with the others: under no circumstances meet with her or talk to her anymore. 

She only wants to meet with you on your anniversary to make *her* feel better, to tell you how you failed as a husband and how much more happy the two of you will be after you split, since it is clear you were never meant to be.....ad nauseum...blah bal blah...rewriting history... ect.

I think she is despicable. I don't care how good looking she may be.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Bandit is right on. Do not meet anymore. You could quote her email to OM for a laugh but that would be too much relationship drama.

The only way you should ever interact with her is if she is remorseful. It is not enough for her to crawl on broken glass. She must start an organic ale micro brewery whose prize winning beers are called "Faithfull Husband" and "Sorry Adultress".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

You claim she's the love of your life but the only positive quality you list is that she's hot. So either you're leaving things out or you married her because she's hot. Did she actually have any good qualities when you married her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Allen_A said:


> IVF treatments are pricy anyways.. where on earth is the money coming from for all that if you aren't employed?


A co-worker spent over $14,000.00 on this. In your situation is her mother going to pay for this?

Ask the lawyer about the house. I think you said you own your home, if this is the case leaving the house could hurt you.

I think you are still talking too much to your wife. Detach.


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> You claim she's the love of your life but the only positive quality you list is that she's hot. So either you're leaving things out or you married her because she's hot. Did she actually have any good qualities when you married her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


When we first met, it was in middle school she was shy and pretty back then, we maybe said 3 things to each other. Through the years we didn't talk, I married and then got divorced. Later we talked on the phone and finally met. I was going to remodel her kitchen and the day I saw her I felt a connection. Yes she is beautiful looks like Sandra Bullock. She is intelligent and at the time we date very generous, giving and appreciated everything the world had to offer. She is very motivated, training for the Arizona Iron-man. She scheduled herself to training, working and living life. She was inspiring like a fresh breath of air. The way she carried herself was something I have always been attracted to confidence. When she was tired she still smiled, when she was happy she was awesome. We were like to peas in a pod and it felt right. She loved her sister that is 6 years older, had a great relationship with her nieces and adored them. She was competitive and structured and she made me feel I was the most important person on earth. Yes she wasnt just hot! When we got married after the 2 break ups, she did change but I still saw her with all those qualities. When we got back together yes it was different but we never fought, we argued and always made up and life was great. She had some bumps in the road with her life that did change her but we all have bumps. I am not making excuses for her I am just answering your question "lifetoshort"


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Thorburn said:


> A co-worker spent over $14,000.00 on this. In your situation is her mother going to pay for this?
> 
> Ask the lawyer about the house. I think you said you own your home, if this is the case leaving the house could hurt you.
> 
> I think you are still talking too much to your wife. Detach.


She went to see the doctor and told me it will be around 10k for the procedure. Her mom will pay for this and what ever more she is wanting to do. 

I do not own the house, I said my name isnt on the deed. 

I do not go out of my way to contact my wife and I am detaching from her. I really dont have feelings for her, the only thing I dont want to do is lose contact meaning I would like to know how she is doing, what she is up to later down the road. If she made changes to herself and her life is better after me. I dont wish harm on her nor do I want her to suffer, I am a forgiving man who can see pass peoples BS and just like knowing. My other ex wife I have no feels for never contacted her never called her but to the day I still would like to know if she is ok and happy. Again just answering the question to "Thorburn"


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> Ive been to Crested Butte many times. It is a charming, isolated, romantic little mining/skiing town. If she met him there, then they consumated.
> 
> I'm with the others: under no circumstances meet with her or talk to her anymore.
> 
> ...



ANswering your question Bandit:

Yes I feel what you say is true about meeting to make herself feel better. She did email me a reply showing some remorse but nothing since then. I will share that email with you.

*All I can say is I'm sorry, and I will tell you that in person if you let me. I let things go too far with Cory and I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you. However, I am not having an affair nor did I have an affair. 

I am not choosing someone else over you. I choose to be alone and I am alone this weekend. I'm not happy and need some time to figure things out for myself. I'm sorry if you don't understand that. 

I would like the opportunity to talk with you, but if you don't want to I understand. 
*

I shouldnt have share how good looking she is with all of you, that is my humor coming out and how I had described her. She is beautiful in my eyes. She isnt just pretty theres more to her if you like to read as I posted an answer to another person. Looks are not everything I know, they go away and what the person is left with is their inner beauty.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Ironman.... hmm... so she is very stubborn and determined. What sport do you have in common with her?


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> You claim she's the love of your life but the only positive quality you list is that she's hot. So either you're leaving things out or you married her because she's hot. Did she actually have any good qualities when you married her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes- her mother is a millionaire.

Beauty and money are great. But not enough for me to stick around.  
Be happy you aren't on the deed. Pack up and leave.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

LongWalk said:


> Ironman.... hmm... so she is very stubborn and determined. What sport do you have in common with her?


I work out religiously, hike 14ers, bike at least 100 miles a week, run, swim, anything outdoors


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> Yes- her mother is a millionaire.
> 
> Beauty and money are great. But not enough for me to stick around.
> Be happy you aren't on the deed. Pack up and leave.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I never knew her mom had that kind of money until resently. I knew she had some enough to help her out from time to time. She was not forthcoming when she took, borrowed or asked for money from her mom. I dont worship money, I worship a higher power, you cant love both. But thats another topic altogether.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

sqrd2008 said:


> I never knew her mom had that kind of money until resently. I knew she had some enough to help her out from time to time. She was not forthcoming when she took, borrowed or asked for money from her mom. I dont worship money, I worship a higher power, you cant love both. But thats another topic altogether.


Sorry, not my intention to imply you were after her money. I just put it in the "good" column for your wife, along with her looks. Doesn't seem to be much else redeemable about her, unfortunately. Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

People I dont know short hand on here, what is OP OM etc?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

sqrd2008 said:


> ANswering your question Bandit:
> 
> Yes I feel what you say is true about meeting to make herself feel better. She did email me a reply showing some remorse but nothing since then. I will share that email with you.
> 
> ...


Man you have her so high up on a pedestal that you cannot see her for what she is: a spoiled princess who is used to walking all over you. I am from the Phoenix Valley too, and how many such women do you and I see every day at the Starbucks, at AJ's, etc? 

There are alot of beautiful, accomplished, loving, smart, generous women around here who don't have EAs and worse behind their husbands' backs.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

OP- original poster (you)
OM - other man
WW - wayward wife
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> Yes- her mother is a millionaire.
> 
> Beauty and money are great. But not enough for me to stick around.
> Be happy you aren't on the deed. Pack up and leave.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Two well known quotes:

1. Show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I'll show you someone that's tired of her sh!t.

2. When you marry for money you earn every penny.

He did explain himself a little more but I had to throw those out there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Man you have her so high up on a pedestal that you cannot see her for what she is: a spoiled princess who is used to walking all over you. I am from the Phoenix Valley too, and how many such women do you and I see every day at the Starbucks, at AJ's, etc?
> 
> There are alot of beautiful, accomplished, loving, smart, generous women around here who don't have EAs and worse behind their husbands' backs.



I'm from the Phoenix area as well. If I knew what part she was from that would tell me a lot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> Man you have her so high up on a pedestal that you cannot see her for what she is: a spoiled princess who is used to walking all over you. I am from the Phoenix Valley too, and how many such women do you and I see every day at the Starbucks, at AJ's, etc?
> 
> There are alot of beautiful, accomplished, loving, smart, generous women around here who don't have EAs and worse behind their husbands' backs.


Your right I do have her on a pedestal, how do I push her off? I do see her as a pathetic princess who is spoiled, doesnt know what true accomplishment is, who is stubborn and all about herself. She has walked all over me, but from reading No More Mr Nice Guy I see that I am the one at fault and I am the one who pushed her to make the bad choice. I know I have a lot of growing up to do. I am passed the hurt, the anger, etc. Now I am just void of her, I dont think about her but only when I write on here. I dont snoop on her or even want to do a drive by. I am focusing on me, doing designs, working out, getting ready to go to Florida and have the time of my life and focus on ME. I am important, I love myself for who I am and going to become. I deserve a better woman, I am a great man who is funny, charming, witty, giving of ones self but only after I think of myself first. I am happy right here right now, excited for my new life.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> I'm from the Phoenix area as well. If I knew what part she was from that would tell me a lot.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hope its not Scottsdale. I already feel guilty enough living here.


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> I'm from the Phoenix area as well. If I knew what part she was from that would tell me a lot.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She was born in Detroit but moved here soon after she was born to Aurora CO. 

I am born and raised from Colorado


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Hope its not Scottsdale. I already feel guilty enough living here.


Well it could be Paradise Valley, or heaven forbid they have a place on Camelback Mountain.....

As for me, i'm from East Mesa.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

sqrd2008 said:


> She was born in Detroit but moved here soon after she was born to Aurora CO.
> 
> I am born and raised from Colorado


Colorado is nice. I miss the west.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Well it could be Paradise Valley, or heaven forbid they have a place on Camelback Mountain.....
> 
> As for me, i'm from East Mesa.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We need to meet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> We need to meet.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We should! Where did you go to school?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

_
I've been doing some thinking... I mentioned to you that I'm going to have a hard time trusting you and I feel like you're hiding something from me. After all I am was hiding our affair from my husband, so I know that there are people who lie and cheat. Call it my personal insight into the human heart.From what I can tell, it doesn't feel to me that you've changed much from that guy that hurt me so many years ago.I am not a better person either... I guess that is why we are drawn to each other.I know you'll deny this and I'm not looking for any explanation. Besides you can't believe what cheaters say.If you really felt they way you say you do about me, it would be more apparent in your actions. I know you just want me for sex and it hurts.Like I said before, I want a relationship where we are both crazy about one another and who share everything... a partnership. I don't know exactly what that is but I know that I am not in one with my husband.I don't want to get myself into a situation where I don't feel I can trust someone, who doesn't share everything with me, which I know, is ironic given the situation I've gotten myself into. I am a hypocrite, a cheater dreaming of being with someone who will never cheat.

I feel I should thank you though, sqrd2008 and I had a talk last night, I told him how I'm feeling, that I'm not in love with him any longer and we're going to separate. You made me realize that I want that head over heels love and you pushed me into doing something about it. Honesty is the best policy.

I'll be honest, part of me wishes you would prove me wrong. But I think, if you're honest with me and yourself, you'll realize or already know, 'us' isn't what you really want. I don't know, I don't know what you've been thinking or what's going through your head.I've been honest with my husband now. I hope that sacrifiing him will make you desire me more. I knew you only wanted to use me and I know that won't change but since I back stabbed my husband, could you amp up the drama from your side for awhile at least, until you dump me?

I'm not sure how to end this email... So, I'll just leave it at that. Hope it makes some sense.Does this read like futile self destructive neediness? I know it does, but what else can I offer you? Offering you my integrity is out of the question, since you know I don't have much in that respect....

Should I have stayed with my husband to make out affair less threatening to your freedom... don't tell me, I don't want to know._

Copy Longwalks version and send it to your wife. You will be doing her a favor.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Sorry for the thread jack.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Can anyone tell me if I'm correct. I have heard many times that top female athletes that train very hard are more than likely to quit having their monthly period. If she is training for an ironman competition ......dell I would think that would have an effect. I also remember that young gymnasts etc. That trained very hard would forestall puberty. 

Which of you were considered to have a problem?


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> _
> I've been doing some thinking... I mentioned to you that I'm going to have a hard time trusting you and I feel like you're hiding something from me. After all I am was hiding our affair from my husband, so I know that there are people who lie and cheat. Call it my personal insight into the human heart.From what I can tell, it doesn't feel to me that you've changed much from that guy that hurt me so many years ago.I am not a better person either... I guess that is why we are drawn to each other.I know you'll deny this and I'm not looking for any explanation. Besides you can't believe what cheaters say.If you really felt they way you say you do about me, it would be more apparent in your actions. I know you just want me for sex and it hurts.Like I said before, I want a relationship where we are both crazy about one another and who share everything... a partnership. I don't know exactly what that is but I know that I am not in one with my husband.I don't want to get myself into a situation where I don't feel I can trust someone, who doesn't share everything with me, which I know, is ironic given the situation I've gotten myself into. I am a hypocrite, a cheater dreaming of being with someone who will never cheat.
> 
> I feel I should thank you though, sqrd2008 and I had a talk last night, I told him how I'm feeling, that I'm not in love with him any longer and we're going to separate. You made me realize that I want that head over heels love and you pushed me into doing something about it. Honesty is the best policy.
> ...


I totally will


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

The fact that your wife is so goal oriented if she reverses direction and wants to reconcile, you can consider it. 

Ironman is all about the individual performance. Your wife has an ego. 

Treat her like a non-entity but without bitterness.

Blog a little about your training on FB. State a couple of goals. Your friends will encourage you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

LongWalk said:


> The fact that your wife is so goal oriented if she reverses direction and wants to reconcile, you can consider it.
> 
> Ironman is all about the individual performance. Your wife has an ego.
> 
> ...


I am far from being bitter, I believe in love. I am excited about the possibilities that lay before me.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

sqrd2008 said:


> I am far from being bitter, I believe in love. I am excited about the possibilities that lay before me.


Man, you could really start a facebook post with that line.:smthumbup: Add how you can't wait to find a loving, honest lady who is truly a good person. Cheaters need not apply.:lol:


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

I would say I am more happier that I have been in years, not sure if its the newly found freedom or the extra support I been getting but I have no worry's other than getting a job and starting over. Been getting my resume organized, and finding leads with friends. I am also not worried about my wife and I as I been talking to an attorney and she says judges wont go after someone who isn't the biological father in her case the IVF. I would give up my rights and she said judges wouldn't pursue me being a dad to a child who isn't mine. Everything is working out like it should and in time who knows what will happen.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

sqrd2008 said:


> Ok more news I just like the fact I can spill it on here and get good advice.
> 
> If you scroll back to when I texted her saying I love like you and she didnt have much of a response. She did text me saying I hope I didnt offend you or hurt your feelings. I wrote back I will check in with you by the end of the month and Happy Anniversary on the 17th. That was what 2 days ago?
> 
> ...



I think you need to divorce her just as fast as your state laws allow. she is obviously manipulative and you are obviously still vulnerable to that. if she has not cheated on you physically then its only a matter of time before she does, either with the OM in question or the next one she finds.

you said...."In a weird way regardless of what she has done to me, she is still human and we all make mistakes. I have to allow myself not to assume and let it play out."

your description of her reminds me a lot of my former DIL (daughter-in-law). If she is simlar to my fDIL then no, she is not human. she is a creature of some kind but not human, any more than a Barbie doll is human. Her emotions would be completely artificial, constructed in a way that serves her needs at the time. Once one breaks through the thick outside layer of 'performance' and reflecting back to people what people want to see, then her stark ugliness on the inside is breathtaking. I bet she wants children in the same way she wants a flat screen TV or the latest iphone, or whatever "things" she likes. she'll be equally enthused about a kid in the beginning, but will view it as just as disposable as out-of-date technology as soon as difficulties or challenges arise.

I would also bet that marrying her is the biggest mistake of your life, even if you don't yet quite realize that. Having children with her will trump even that. you must make sure that DOES NOT happen. You need to end this thing ASAP.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

If there are no kids and you file for a no-fault divorce, splitting the assets and debts 50/50, you can file the agreement and be divorced in 90 days or less in AZ 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Maybe he should meet with her.

When they sit down at the table he can ask her to read over the divorce papers, review them with her and ask her to sign them.

If she is so reasonable why would she keep him on the hook while having someone else's kid.......

Oh I know. Because she is selfish.

Run Sqrd Run!


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

sqrd2008 said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have the guys name and phone number, what would you do if you had his information?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

happyman64 said:


> Maybe he should meet with her.
> 
> When they sit down at the table he can ask her to read over the divorce papers, review them with her and ask her to sign them.
> 
> ...


I saw her yesterday, I went to pick up my mail. She didn't look all that great and was on her third glass of wine. I acted happy to see my dogs and said my life is going great. I asked her how she has been holding up and she seemed sad. I hung out for a little while until she started texting on her phone. She got a text and quickly scanned it and put the phone on the other side of her. It seemed like her mom wasn't help paying for her expenses. She is getting rid of satellite cause she can't afford it. Also wants to take me off of her health insurance. My heart wasn't racing nor did I act weird in front of her. I did say do you miss anything and she said she is still trying to figure stuff out. I left and she asked for a hug, I gave her one and then leaned in for a kiss, she shook her head then gave me a kiss. I laughed and said ja I kissed you I kissed you. Got in my car laughing. It was a good visit just proves I can move on without her. She did say I saw you took a few material things. She thought it was ****ty of me to do that. I said I bought all of those things, you didn't want me and your not complaining about that.*

I know you all will say I am stupid but I use to hate when she got home how my heart would race but now it doesn't and I am a better person than she is. I am happy, she is sad and I can be happy without her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Sqrd

No one thinks you are stupid.

You love your spouse.

Can you be happy without her?

Of course you can.

Are you better off without her?

Absolutely.

Does it suck that she is so selfish, a liar and still not giving you the answers you deserve?

Hell yeah.

The key is to move on without her, without her answers so you can be happy.

HM


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

You did not do anything wrong. You made it clear you were not going to coddle her, and that it was she who threw you and the marriage away. Now you made your point. No more flirting or kissing. Be like Spock from now on. All logic and all business.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Take her a case of cheap wine.


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## sqrd2008 (Mar 7, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> Take her a case of cheap wine.


My vacation is over, 11 days of pools, oceans, half naked women and plenty of fun. I had way to much fun only had one day of being sad cause I was bored and nothing to do for a day. Now its back to reality and not looking forward to my new adventures. Getting a job and moving out of my parents will be good. I only been living with my patents for a week and then went in my vacation. At least its spring in Colorado and grand opportunity here to come. The hardest thing I will have to do is forget and to move towards my goals.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Chaparral said:


> Take her a case of cheap wine.


Mad dog 20/20
Hey I'm thrifty.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

tom67 said:


> Mad dog 20/20
> Hey I'm thrifty.


More options for the thrifty connoisseur.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Nucking Futs said:


> More options for the thrifty connoisseur.


Smoke a few swisher sweets with those?:lol:


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