# Going through a lot



## AFriend2011 (Mar 3, 2012)

Had a bad day yesterday....

I am going through my separation process and its very painful....even my family is not supporting me and they are ashamed of me. my mother does not want people to know that i have come back and staying with her....she did something into my marriage and now she tells me why did I listen to her...

No support....listening to criticism from her all day long....no job...staying with her....like what i am not and what i should be

she doesnot want me to move out because that will make her feel bad in people's eye....

Yesterday, had an argument with a friend...we were chatting a lot or may be i was chatting and he was replying with yes or no....i stopped talking and he didnot bother to respond...when i contacted a month later....he said it was good to be a break and if i wanted i will contact him again...i said ok...i respect ur decision and let it be a break....i didnot contact him again....

but after that he is contacting me again and again that it was a mistake and to forgive him...i told him there is nothing to forgive and if he thought like that its ok...

yesterday, he contacted me again and told me lots of things that i jump to conclusion, don't take things into perspective, i want things my way...every blame on me and in the end he said i was revengeful because i am not ready to continue and not freeing from his guilt...

where am i going wrong....


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## AFriend2011 (Mar 3, 2012)

Lots of negativity in my environment...dont know how to deal with it....had sent a message to friend today...

"Thanks for letting me know about my set patterns. will work on that. Till then wish you all the best and all the good friends in your life."

I am not a bad person...but everyone in my environment is putting me in doubt all the believes I had.....

Did i made a fool of myself...by trusting my mom and leaving my marriage...may be i should have stayed no matter what...


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Why did you leave your marriage? How long were you together?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

All this depends on what the issues are in the marriage.


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## AFriend2011 (Mar 3, 2012)

i was married for 9 months....he was emotionally involved with someone else. also his family disapproved me...


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

First off, you need to remove all toxic people in your life that are not making you happy. Sounds like your friend is the first place to start. No one can "make" you feel anything about yourself unless you want them to. They don't have that power unless you give it to them. 

Secondly, you need to start spending your energy on finding a job and getting out of your mom's house. Even if you can't get a place of your own there are hundreds of people in this economy looking to share their home. 

Stop listening to what your mom says. If she is embarressed about you living there that is her own problem. She is making it sound as if you are the only adult child in the world that had to move back in with their parents after a job loss, divorce or whatever. 

You sound very sad and depressed but once you start taking steps to change where you are in life, you will begin feeling better. 

Good luck sweetie.


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## AFriend2011 (Mar 3, 2012)

Thanks Irish....

I have started using 180 on my mom  

no shouting, no reaction....walk away from the issues....

Have started looking for job....going oout for walk in the evenings....

Need to take charge of my life in my hand


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