# Separated and still investigating



## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

REPOST from Going Through Sep & Divorce
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Hi All,

Its been a long time since I have posted anything and I realize that I also never posted an update (some may remember me and my threads from last year). H and I are currently separated, will be 6 months at the end of this month. I have been fine living on my own, continuing therapy and trying to discover myself - at the same time keeping myself distant from H. He now realizes he was totally at fault. That all the lies, deceit, disrespect were all a result of his need to feed his ego. He went back to therapy a little under a month ago and is claiming to feel more positive and really wants to work things out.

Well, I am still investigating... still have that feeling gnawing at me that he's just not been upfront with me with what he claims he's come clean with. One of the biggest betrayls was an EA/verge of PA that started almost 3 1/2 yrs ago and was the catalyst to the breakdown of my trust and respect in him. He always stuck with "nothing happened b/t us, we wee just talking, only hung out once by her (she lives well over 45 mins away) and in a group setting. I have been wanting to contact this woman for quite some time now and just last week I was able to track her down. I called her and told her I didnt expect her to know me nor tell me anything but that I was reaching out to her woman-to-woman and that I am a professional with lots to loose so I would never come after her. I asked her if she met my H 3 yrs ago in Vegas and she said yes. She then asked is I was his GF, fiance or wife and I told her possible soon-to-be ex. She told me that my H indicated he had a long time GF at the time and that he had recently broken up with her. She was in a similar position and said that is why they hit it off and they only kissed. She was shocked and remorseful to hear that we were actualyl newlyweds, 2 yrs married at the time and that they met a few days b/f our anniversary and even talked the day of while we were outt celebrating. She told me that they did indeed hang out in a group setting but that they also hung out alone one time after that and that nothing happened b/t them. I was shocked to hear about this 2nd time and asked where they went. She told me that he picked her up in her town and brought her to his and had dinner. I lost it, heart sunk - I asked if he brought her oout in public (i'm thinking the audacity of this man bringiong her out in public in our neighborhood) and she told me NO, his sister's appt or that's what he claimed. I believe this girl, we had a real heart to herat and she felt awful and wished me the best.

I just confronted my husband las nigth and agian he stuck to his story, denied the 2nd mtg, I pushed and pushed for more, he claimed he didnt remember where he took her but they did hang out one otehr time and alone but that nothing happened and that is what mattered. I became furious and told him that wasnt the point and I knew he took her to our town and that I could not wrap my head around this risk he took. As I pushed for more and more info, as I was sensing he was embarrased and ashamed of where he took her he confessed it was his MOTHER'S HOUSE!!!!! They just hung out to talk. That could have been done at a bar or something up by her - the intent was there, he was playing a different role. Makes me sick! And I'm supposed to forgive and forget and try to move past this when I dont believe anything he tells me b/c he has so much hidden from me... 

Sorry had to get that off my chest...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Sorry to hear all of this. But it's good you talked to her and were able to sort the story out. 

He was stilll denying it to you even after you had the proof.

What are you going to do?


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## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

Hi Jellybean

Yes he was still denying when he knew very well where I was headed and I told him I knew they hung out 1-on-1, in our area, got dinner etc.

Def grounds for divorce. I know he's working towards changing but I have given him chances even after this incident when I only knew they were talking for a month and hung out once (I believed him and forgave him).


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