# Quick: free/cheap dating ideas



## Lon

Help, I have a date tomorrow afternoon and need to think of some ideas, I'm COMPLETELY broke at the moment, all my bills seemed to happen 3x last month and payday is not for four days.

I am thinking picnic lunch and walk by the river, but the walk by river part is so cliche... it will be in afternoon, who knows may lead into evening or later - depending obviously on how good your ideas are - so hurry and help me brainstorm pressure is on


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## justonelife

Is this a first date?


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## Lon

justonelife said:


> Is this a first date?


no, second (maybe third if including the sort of blind double date we were set up on the first time)


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## arbitrator

Picnic by the river/lake would be superb. Just bring a blanket and pillows and look for a huge shade tree. Also bring a CD player with some soft or classical music and just lay back and enjoy nature. Have her cook something or go get some sandwich fixings and bring along a bottle of good red or white wine.

If in the city, spend a day at an art museum and then for some coffee or latte afterward.

Then you can fix an inexpensive meal at home, bring the wine, and go rent a couple of Redbox flicks that neither of you have seen.

Oh, how I wish that I were in your shoes right now!


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## Lon

Thanks arb, some good ideas... almost exactly what I was thinking, I'm not sure how long the date will last because she has her son but he is at the age where he can take care of himself for a little while.

Was thinking of the blanket, pick up some stuff from the grocery store... the museum is a nice touch (not many around here but one that is free  was going to make some iced coffee instead of wine (I will ask her if she likes it first though) if she can stay out and play we'll watch a movie at my place (there is a reason I bought a big screen, I plan to use it) and as unromantic as it is I will have to bring the mosquito repellant.

I just am always so boring, so its weird to actually plan these things, even if nothing happens I always appreciate the chance to get out and do something. And she said she is not picky at all.


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## arbitrator

Lon: Making it even more fun is for the two of you to go about planning it together. She may well know your predicament and sounds like she'd be more than willing to acquiese. Doing this does not in any way make you a "cheapskate!" Conversely, it shows her that you are human! If she's any kind of woman, which I feel that she is, she will absolutely love it!

Hoping that the two of you just end up having an absolutely fantastic time together!


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## Nsweet

You want a cheap date you could get away with spending less than $5, but you have to be smart about it. Don't even plan on bringing her home just to save a few bucks on entertainment because she'll think you expect to get sex without charming her pants off over the course of a few dates first. 

Think convenient, cheap, and conversation..... You have to set it up where she can feel safe and not obligated to give herself to you if you spend money on her or go out of your way to impress her. And your first date has to be short yet exciting enough where she wants to meet you again and see if you're still going to be this way in the future. 

The picnic isn't a bad idea but,say no to coffee and alcohol unless you're idea of a romantic time involves even more rapid heart beat, anxiety, and mood swings... and that's just the alcohol. I don't think you want to risk crapping your pants, jittery conversations, and bad breath.... *Go with herbal tea!* Just nothing containing chamomile or caffeine in case she has asthma, smokes, or is on any meds that she doesn't want you to know about yet, like mood drugs. You want to be able to capitalize on that down time for romance and togetherness. 

Really the picnic is a great first date and you can make it awesome if you know how to cook. A $5 store bought chicken chopped into chicken salad, some homemade bread, fruit salad, and sweat tea.... that is if you want to go to all that trouble. Personally I believe this is more like a third or fourth date. You can just as easily meet up for coffee talk about yourselves, mostly about her, and go for a walk. 

I know it doesn't sound romantic but it never fails because it's such an honest meeting and you don't feel pressured to impress her because you're just having fun. Hell even with the right attitude and right amount of confidence you could take her to McDonalds and still do well because you just don't care if she chooses you or not. She knows you have kids to feed and your driven to achieve more and do better for them with or without her. And I mean unless she's some 20 something expecting to be swept off her feet and do nothing while she's supported she'll understand. "Here is one father who won't give up on his kids or cheat on me".


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## OldGirl

Lon said:


> I just am always so boring, so its weird to actually plan these things, even if nothing happens I always appreciate the chance to get out and do something. And she said she is not picky at all.


You are NOT boring! No negative talk  She's a lucky girl. 
Have fun :smthumbup:


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## Lon

Arb, good idea, it isn't a surprise so far, its what I mentioned, I will ask her a few preferences so I don't bring something she doesn't like. I think it will be fun, we get along great and I know she will enjoy whatever we do, she seems really cool (the right kind) to me.

Nsweet, some really good food suggestions, I think I will load up the breadmaker tonight and set the timer so its nice and warm... this is like a 3rd date, I know a fair amount about her, but I want to see if their is any sexual attraction or if I'm just turning into a text buddy. Anyways, no alcohol, I will see if she prefers tea or coffee.

Not-so-OldGirl, I wasn't trying to be negative, yes she is lucky, so am I, we were actually setup through a friend of hers so I came with good credentials, and what a big help that is getting to know someone without having to break through those first line of defences. She actually suggested a movie, and NOTHING decent was playing that either of us really wanted to see so I took her to magic mike, lol, we rolled our eyes at each other the whole time and whispered jokes about how terrible the movie is, I was the only guy in the theatre. We met there and she was parked closer so she drove me to my car after and I kissed her, it ended kinda abruptly and it wasn't the smoothest kiss, but without hesitation she said she wanted to see me again. So, I'm a little excited to pick up where we left off


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## heartsbeating

Wishing you a lovely time Lon!

Picnic and walk by the river sounds purrrfect! You make your own bread?! .......rock on. I like the Museum idea too. Maybe search for free art gallerys, or perhaps because you're into photography you could find something neat to share with her. If conversation and chemistry occurs between you though, time won't need to be 'filled' as you'll just enjoy being in each others company. 

Home-made bread and picnic. Go Lon!


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## heartsbeating

okay I'm suggesting this but it really depends what she's into, as well as yourself ...but I love music and records, so spending a couple of hours at second-hand record stores, talking about music, pulling record covers out and sharing them with my 'date' (hubs) is always a bit of fun. And then taking home a record or two to listen to together (that's only cost a couple of bucks) makes for a nice evening. You'd need to have a record player though and discover if she's really into music enough for that to be a fun thing for her.


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## OldGirl

Lon said:


> She actually suggested a movie, and NOTHING decent was playing that either of us really wanted to see so I took her to magic mike, lol, we rolled our eyes at each other the whole time and whispered jokes about how terrible the movie is, I was the only guy in the theatre. We met there and she was parked closer so she drove me to my car after and I kissed her, it ended kinda abruptly and it wasn't the smoothest kiss, but without hesitation she said she wanted to see me again. So, I'm a little excited to pick up where we left off


:lol: She sounds great. Hope you both have a wonderful time today. Let us know how it goes, so that those of us who haven't dated in a century can live vicariously through you


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## WomanScorned

Yay Lon! If she has her son with her, it might be a good plan to do the picnic thing. Have fun!


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## Jellybeans

Check your local paper for going-ons: museums, free music, etc.
Picnic sounds nice too. Don't forget to bring a blanket!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Lon said:


> Help, I have a date tomorrow afternoon and need to think of some ideas, I'm COMPLETELY broke at the moment, all my bills seemed to happen 3x last month and payday is not for four days.
> 
> I am thinking picnic lunch and walk by the river, but the walk by river part is so cliche... it will be in afternoon, who knows may lead into evening or later - depending obviously on how good your ideas are - so hurry and help me brainstorm pressure is on


Lon, you will get better mileage with bicycling! The reason is you can each take turns leading and checking out each other's ASSESts. Plus it removes the need for conversation, except when you stop for a break. Bring a picnic, suggest you split up with the sandwiches and the desserts. You could go swimming after if there's biking near a beach area. I went mountain biking for a first date and that's what we ended up doing, going to the beach after, bonus is you can check her out in her swimsuit, just saying. It was fun and relaxing. If she doesn't have a bike, you shouldn't be dating her  Good luck buddy!

If you have a telescope you could extend the date to some stargazing. Or even if not. If the weather is nice tonight you're in luck, it's the PERSEIDS METEOR SHOWER which is a really good reason to spread that blanket out on the ground and stay up late.


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## that_girl

Look up things to do in your parks and recreation system there. We just discovered there are free archery lessons near us.


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## Lon

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Lon, you will get better mileage with bicycling! The reason is you can each take turns leading and checking out each other's ASSESts. Plus it removes the need for conversation, except when you stop for a break. Bring a picnic, suggest you split up with the sandwiches and the desserts. You could go swimming after if there's biking near a beach area. I went mountain biking for a first date and that's what we ended up doing, going to the beach after, bonus is you can check her out in her swimsuit, just saying. It was fun and relaxing. If she doesn't have a bike, you shouldn't be dating her  Good luck buddy!
> 
> If you have a telescope you could extend the date to some stargazing. Or even if not. If the weather is nice tonight you're in luck, it's the PERSEIDS METEOR SHOWER which is a really good reason to spread that blanket out on the ground and stay up late.


HNU are you are reading my mind or what?

Yes she has a bike, and that will probably be my next daytime date suggestion... anyways we had our date and in fact a couple rode by on a tandem bike and she commented on it. The date would have went longer except she had agreed to go to the ex tonight with her sister and bil who are going on a trip... I am jealous, and would go - Collective Soul is even playing on the grandstand today and they are one of my all time favorites, but I literally have $20 in the bank, my credit card is pretty much maxed, don't get paid until Wed and loan payment comes out Tues (I still have to figure out how that is going to work, have been putting all kinds of stuff for sale on kijiji, maybe will have to go to pawn shop lol).

I have had perseid on my google calendar for a number of years now, am trying to figure out how to plan that into the schedule, if she finishes up at the fair early tonight I will see if she will go out, she seems to like spontaneity. Or else tomorrow.

Our river is treacherous to swim in but has some beautiful spots, in the city limits you are allowed to wade but not swim and the issue tickets... but there is a great beach (clothing optional for the few very comfortable ones who do) not far with miles of sandbars.

The picnic went over well, she LOVED the iced coffee and the sandwich made with my home made bread, she is so my kind of girl I'm actually feeling a little shell shocked how compatible we seem, yet I still feel so far out of my comfort zone, all my old habits are sure hard to kick as much as I've tried working on them it takes practice - it's so hard for me to not keep spewing verbal diahrea, and its kind of a paradox... but I'm pushing through and she is making it worth it because she is showing me so much interest... I think she is really afraid of investing time in anything other than a permanent relationship though, and she is overthinking it more than I am, I suspect. We kissed a little more and it was very nice, comforting, arousing... and then she seemed to pull back, she wants to go slow I think, which is more than ok with me. I think I like this part of getting to know someone, it is a hell of a lot of fun!


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## Jellybeans

Yay! Don't overthink things. Go slow!!!

As for your "old habits" -- when you feel them creeping up, address them and assess them & commit to changing them.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Lon said:


> HNU are you are reading my mind or what?


No, I'm in a parallel universe just slightly ahead of you. 

Overthinking can be brutal. You can just tell her simply not to overthink anything, just to go with whatever she's feeling at the present time, and leave it at that.

I happened to make my guy friend a God's Eye at a PowWow I was at, was working at the children's activities...it turns out that they are for the benefit of avoidance of overthinking...so if you want to give her a simple gift, you could try that. Stick in feathers or anything you find when you are out in nature. It's a good opportunity to tell her not to overthink, to stay in the flow, present time. Discussion doesn't really need to go further than that.

I hear you on the verbal spewing. I'm lucky, I get called out on it so it has a checkpoint. Bicycling is nice, because generally you don't talk unless you're on a break, and even then you might be relaxed enough not to over-talk...same thing with hiking and being out on the water paddling.

Speaking of which, I'm heading out in nature for a week. I expect good updates when I return. 

You're doing the right thing not extending yourself financially for a relationship. I am in a relationship where we tend not to spend $ at all, unless it's for food at a grocery store. It does set the stage for how things will go financially in your relationship, honestly, people are born without money, so it makes sense they can partner up without using it. Keeping $ out of the picture simplifies a lot of stuff, logistically and emotionally.


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## sisters359

I'm too late, but another idea is to plan on taking lots of pictures esp. of the pretty spots and/or anything you see while walking. Plan to make up a "Stroll along the . . . [river, city streets, whatever]" photo essay (online, where it is free) for her and tell her that's part of the date. It adds an element of entertainment and draws out the creativity in both of you. 

Hope you had fun.


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## Lon

sisters359 said:


> I'm too late, but another idea is to plan on taking lots of pictures esp. of the pretty spots and/or anything you see while walking. Plan to make up a "Stroll along the . . . [river, city streets, whatever]" photo essay (online, where it is free) for her and tell her that's part of the date. It adds an element of entertainment and draws out the creativity in both of you.
> 
> Hope you had fun.


I did bring my camera along, and meant to use it, but kinda forgot to,lol. She's seen some of my photos and knows I enjoy it. She has incredibly gorgeous eyes, easily some of most fascinating I've seen and I told her I want to take a photo of her but she looked really uncomfortable, told me to sneak one when she wasn't thinking about having to pose, but I was too busy enjoying her company to take a photo. We did happen to stop at the local public art gallery and there were some cool portraits to see, so we talked a little about that.

I am sure we will go out for a photowalk some time...


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## WomanScorned

:smthumbup: Yay Lon! Glad it went so well.


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## Shooboomafoo

Im glad for you Lon. Open horizons.


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## wiigirl

Yay! Congrats!









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Deejo

I'm happy for you Lon.

Seriously, do treat these initial dates as learning opportunities, not only about your partner, but about yourself as well.

Always interesting to see what sticks and what doesn't.


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## arbitrator

Please let us all know how it's going, Lon! I'm greatly hoping to be exactly where you are now in a few short months!


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## Nsweet

At a boy!:smthumbup:

Hmmm "Let's slow things down"? She's drawn a boundary that you need to respect or else she'll stop wanting to see you. It's not problem, you probably just tripped up her "I'm not a sl*t" defenses and caused her to back down in order to save herself from an emotionally invested sexual vulnerability and rejection later on. I gotta say that's a very good sign to see in a woman! 

Now that you've kissed her and your sexual interest is known take your libido out of the equation by not making any overtly sexual or romantic passes at her. She knows you want her but now is the time to show her you actually care what she has to say. Don't get me wrong she is interested in you too but you need to show her you have what it takes to be her non sexual companion also.

And don't worry about being put in the friend zone, you're past that road block. The only way you could mess up is if you completely disrespected her or acted like you didn't know a thing about romance. C'mon, you were married right? Treat her no different than you did your wife back when you liked her and use these dates to have fun, show her the confident man she likes, and connect emotionally on more than just a few shared likes. 

Realistically I'd say you could kiss her again after your next date but *SHE HAS TO BE THE ONE TO INITIATE OR SHOW INTEREST* this time. In order for that to happen she has to be comfortable being hugged or touched by you and hold your gaze for longer than a few seconds feeling safe that you're not going to jump her bones. Take my advice, give her a hug goodbye next time and break away before she does. Just look her in the eyes with all the love you have in your heart but can't say in those three words yet, and kiss her with your stare.... *MAGIC! *


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## Lon

Well earlier I was going to write that I think I'm going about it all wrong, doing everything a guy is not supposed to do, all talk, just getting so much off my chest, leading the conversation for her to talk about her ex and all that crap that is supposed to be not good. We are both overthinking things so bad, thought I was getting friendzoned, my mood has gone up and down depending on the text messages I get. Then tonight I invited her to my house for supper, I was still a little gunshy, and she wanted to go for a walk but I knew she couldn't stay long because she had to go pick up her son later...

So, knowing I really was doing the gaming thing all wrong, I just kinda went with it, embraced doing all the touchy feely not so masculine stuff, and just some how let go of any expectation, yet still flirting enough (basically my one move of looking into her gorgeous eyes and smiling, and just enjoying the moment) to let her know I am interested... I made sure to walk briskly, making her keep up a little, trying to get the endorphines flying  , then as soon as we got back I moved the conversation to the couch, kept doing my trick of just enjoying looking at her and eventually we were all tangled up together 

For me, I just gotta forget about learning to the game, when you can just be yourself with someone who appreciates it, it kinda clicks - of course it took awhile for me to make the first move, but she waited for me and that is what allowed me to finally go for it.

And like Deejo said it is all learning opportunity. For me it really gave me a little shot of confidence just where I needed it to help me feel comfortable being myself. And I am grateful that I met such a nice, patient and sexy lady, a little surprised to find one for real actually.

Anyways, I'm just gonna bask in the moment awhile, see where this goes, hope that I can stay myself while still being aware of my old niceguy traits, and get to know this beautiful woman really well.


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## Lon

Nsweet, yep I get exactly what you are saying, I didn't execute it like that, but I got where I wanted to be, sorta using that method, and I got past a mental hangup that was really blocking me, and the thing that made it happen is that she was the other side of the equation - maybe I was looking for, and needed, some genuine external validation, but this is sexual attraction we're talking about so that external validation is kinda necessary I think.

edit: and to be clear, she has not once said "let's slow things down" but I am certain that she needs more than just intensity and sex, she doesn't want to waste her time on liars, she seems willing to invest some time in a good guy, and so of course is being cautious. She said she's tired of guys that want one thing, and luckily for me I don't want just one thing.


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## OldGirl

Thanks for updating us, Lon. I loved reading that. I've got a huge smile on my face


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## heartsbeating

Lon said:


> ...when you can just be yourself with someone who appreciates it, it kinda clicks - of course it took awhile for me to make the first move, but she waited for me and that is what allowed me to finally go for it.
> 
> And like Deejo said it is all learning opportunity. For me it really gave me a little shot of confidence just where I needed it to help me feel comfortable being myself. And I am grateful that I met such a nice, patient and sexy lady, a little surprised to find one for real actually.
> 
> Anyways, I'm just gonna bask in the moment awhile, see where this goes, hope that I can stay myself while still being aware of my old niceguy traits, and get to know this beautiful woman really well.


where is the 'jumping in the air for joy on your behalf' emoticon when you need one?!

thumbs up will need to suffice :smthumbup:


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## heartsbeating

oh and (sorry I seem to have after thoughts when I post)... it wouldn't surprise me, without knowing her from a bar of soap [what a weird saying that is], if she wasn't feeling similarly as you, with that little shot of confidence and grateful that SHE's met such a nice, patient and [other descriptive words] gentleman. Who knows, maybe she's feeling a little surprised to find one for real actually too. 

Enjoy the moment and the journey.


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## Lon

heartsbeating said:


> it wouldn't surprise me, without knowing her from a bar of soap [what a weird saying that is], if she wasn't feeling similarly as you, with that little shot of confidence and grateful that SHE's met such a nice, patient and [other descriptive words] gentleman. Who knows, maybe she's feeling a little surprised to find one for real actually too.


I think you are probably spot on with that analysis... She sure makes a point of saying so anyway


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