# In a Funk



## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

I thought I was doing okay on Monday, but I'm going downhill again. 
For those who have been through IC, does it truly help? I never really had alot of confidence in myself and now my H has made my self-esteem drop even more. I just can't get past the fact that this is happening. That he is leaving me after 18 yrs of marriage.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

I think IC helps some people more than others- ive been in it for 7 months now and am finally trying to shift focus from just talking about my stbxh and instead focusing in on me and what i need to do to be a better person. sorry you are having a rough one jenny, can you do something for yourself today to take your mind off things?


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

My wife is throwing away 14 years, and 3 kids. 20year son (hers), 5year daughter, and 3year son. Just because I ignored her needs. I see my mistakes now that she hit me over the head with the threat of divorce. She is done though and doesn't want to work it out.

We all go thru funks. What keeps me going is the hope that I can keep my kids. We are still living together but the first day without my kids will be very very hard. I don't know if I'm strong enough right now to do it.

Keep your head up and realise you have value if not to your husband, to yourself! Go out for lunch today and have dessert!


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

jenny123 said:


> I thought I was doing okay on Monday, but I'm going downhill again.
> For those who have been through IC, does it truly help? I never really had alot of confidence in myself and now my H has made my self-esteem drop even more. I just can't get past the fact that this is happening. That he is leaving me after 18 yrs of marriage.


Jenny the roller coaster ride will continue for a while but they do start to get fewer and far between. I personally have gotten a lot out of IC. I started w/ going weekly, then every other and now it's going to be every 3 wks unless something big happens. My IC was a marriage specialist but my stbxh refused to work on it, so I stayed with her anyway. I am now looking at filing and she has helped me realize my inner strength and that this wasn't all my fault (I initially blamed 80% of it on me). She helps me w/ my confidence so much. The last two times I left her office I smiled the next few days almost non-stop. I was left after 27 yrs w/ him. It's hard, it really is. My doctor and my therapist have been great. If you haven't gone, find one you like and go.


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## SRN (Mar 20, 2012)

Jenny,

If you are not in IC, I would recommend going. I never thought in a million years I would go, but with what happened to me it has been a great help.



unsure78 said:


> I think IC helps some people more than others- ive been in it for 7 months now and am finally trying to shift focus from just talking about my stbxh and instead focusing in on me and what i need to do to be a better person. sorry you are having a rough one jenny, can you do something for yourself today to take your mind off things?


I'm discovering this too. Last night I started to talk to my IC about me and the future rather than me and my ex and the past. I think thats what you've got to do, eventually.


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

I did go out to lunch with a friend. It's a rainy, dreary day and I find once I am in this mood, there is really nothing that anyone can say or do to change how I feel. I'm sure my friends and brother are sick of me talking about it and being down. That's why I feel I need counseling. I'm thankful for this site too. It's a connection to people that are going through the same thing and know how deep this hurts. It's awful.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

jenny123 said:


> I did go out to lunch with a friend. It's a rainy, dreary day and I find once I am in this mood, there is really nothing that anyone can say or do to change how I feel. I'm sure my friends and brother are sick of me talking about it and being down. That's why I feel I need counseling. I'm thankful for this site too. It's a connection to people that are going through the same thing and know how deep this hurts. It's awful.


That's another big plus, give them a break and come here and get professional help. It is wearing to have to listen to us irl when that's all we can focus on. Here at TAMs we understand it and will be here but having a professional with training will help you and the face to face will be good too.


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## SilverPanther (Feb 2, 2012)

I'm sorry to hear you're having a down day. I guess thats just how this whole thing goes. I go through the same thing. Tonight's been a rough time for me, too. Know that you're not alone.


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