# What she means to me



## ferndog (Dec 2, 2011)

In many posts that I read people tend to state what is wrong with their partner or how much they tried to let them know they cared. I didn't exactly know where to put this. Since I'm divorced and have no contact with my ex I guess this is the place.

What does she mean to me?
Well the first time I saw her she made me feel butterflies jump in my heart. With time we grew up and she still makes those butterflies dance. 8 months without seeing her and my butterflies still fly and feel love for her. Her smile lives in my heart. Her touch made me feel protected. Her small feet, her walk, her laughter are all missed. Her happiness is my sunshine. Her kindness is her greatest gift. Her eyes always had that sparkle in her eyes. 

She truly was my lover, best friend, partner. She was my rock. She is caring, loving, faithful, kind, true, pure, beautiful, hard working. Respectful, a woman. A classy woman. One that even after divorce I know she is special.

My depression drove her away. And my love leaves her alone. I am in a much better place now. I deal with the fact that I need to grow and get better. And I'm doing pretty good.

She is not perfect but she was perfect for me. And if she is the person I know her to be (was with her 20 years I'm 36 now). Somewhere in her heart she is pulling for me.
I know she is pulling for me.

Wether she returns or not time will tell. But in the meantime I work on my issues. I will be better I get stronger each day

I will not let myself down. Everyday I show my worth by remaining true to my promise. Being loyal and faithful. And one day she may see my true beauty again and why she married me. But either way if she doesn't she will be proud of me for pulling through and will know she is loved.

No ones ever gonna love her like I do. I married her to hold her, kiss her. Be there and be a partner.
I remember the priest saying "for better or worse" I know my worst is over and get prepared for the better. I hope she's there when that day comes.

I see my beauty now. I actually feel good in my own skin now.i can look in the mirror and see That sparkle in my eyes. 

If its true love, it will win. If its not then I'm strong enough to know it. 

My exwife is a catch in all areas and anyone who she falls in love with will be a lucky man, but one of her greatest assets is her faithful ness and this is why I still believe in her.

I love you G
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

Awwww.....that is very sweet. Too bad she cannot read this. Does she know you are working on your issues and that you still love her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ferndog (Dec 2, 2011)

Cogo123 said:


> Awwww.....that is very sweet. Too bad she cannot read this. Does she know you are working on your issues and that you still love her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No she will not read this. This is for me. She asked me not to contact her (because she feels I won't change). My last conversation with her I told her that I love her and that I would not give up. One day I would be complete and that day I would return and offer myself to her. That she is beautiful and that I always knew that. 

So I wake up every morning loving her and fixing my issues. This site, admitting my issues, doing something about them, etc has helped me out.

I am a better man everyday and I'm not 100% what she knows or not. 
She works with my sister and I rather not ask my sister anything since it would put her in a bad situation. 

I feel that she loves me and hopes I grow out of my childishness , and become a better man 

Time will tell if she will remember why she fell in love but I haven't forgotten


I know she is not dating. That's all I know ;(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

