# I Want To Know The Truth



## Ladywriter (Mar 13, 2013)

Years ago I trusted my Dad until I found out he had been lying about lots of stuff. Mainly debts at the time but it also affected me badly as well and emotionally. I then found out to my dismay that my Dad has narcistic tendencies from checking and compulsive liar issues.

Years ago my Dad was a long distance truck driver and myself who was very young child then would be at home with Mum and we would not see him for days at a time, back then we had no phone so she had no way of contacting him either. Despite the good job he was always in debts and had no money some times to cover bills even.

My Mum did drink and smoke to much as well and although my Dad placed his marriage on a pedestal as if all was perfect my Mum never commented about it. 

My Dad a few years later when I was a teen commented to me in passing how he knew prostitutes and bought them breakfast, but he said there was nothing else involved, he just knew them on the road at cafes etc. 

Then one day I must have been around 14 years old, out of the blue my Mum said to me, I think that I married the wrong man. I did not know what to say so didnt. She then commented to me how their sex life was nil to. At the time she was very sick as well getting over a stroke and my Dad continued as if everything was fine.

I have often wondered really and even wondered if I had another half family else where, but this is something I will never know. The family was always very secretive and relatives and always seemed very sheepish about discussions on anything to do with my Dad.

My Mum died when I was 16 years old she was a very sick lady in the end. My Dad is sick now. But I have always wondered to be honest. As I remember when I must have been 5 these two men came round, my Dad was working away, I believe then were loan sharks and one placed ash from his cigarette into my hand in the flat we lived in then. And my Mum looked stressed. But I cant remember much else. But Dad was always in debt and borrowing money from who ever he could and he would not tell Mum how much his salary was and in those days they got paid weekly by cash as well. Plus years later I found his wage packets pay seemed really low for a truck driver, it was bad low and I saw money parts looked like they had been removed, it was like say 50 minus 10 etc, and in the tax and insurance sections they were not completed. And I know he paid all of this as he got full pensions etc.

Dad is old now and sick himself but when you are young you dont like to be told oh, I know prostitutes and oh I married the wrong man. When you are like a teen at school really. But years later its made me wonder.

I am an only child, as far as I know that is.

I would appreciate any outside opinions here? thanks.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Why don't you just ask your dad?


----------



## Ladywriter (Mar 13, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Why don't you just ask your dad?


 Because I cant he is in a care home with dementia and even before he got sick he never told me the truth anyway when I asked years ago certain questions before he was sick, he would always make all look like a pedestal, a dream. as thats the way he was. he even told people he owned his council house before he got sick which was not true.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Well, then I guess you could start asking family. You'll probably never know the whole truth one way or another, unless you get a good enough lead you can find this theoretical other family and convince them to let you do DNA testing.

Or hire a PI.


----------



## Ladywriter (Mar 13, 2013)

Thanks for answers, I guess I will never know then, there is no way they would do any tests, they wont even discuss anything and they and I dont get on either. When I tried to discuss something before they just get up and walk off. And that was a simple thing not even connected with this.


----------



## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Ladywriter said:


> Because I cant he is in a care home with dementia and even before he got sick he never told me the truth anyway when I asked years ago certain questions before he was sick, he would always make all look like a pedestal, a dream. as thats the way he was. he even told people he owned his council house before he got sick which was not true.


Then you will never know it's all conjecture!! I don't really have any family on my side or at least no one I know!

It is what it is just focus on your family and let the past be the past.


----------

