# Am I in denial or he is massing with my head?



## Cla (May 26, 2013)

Hi 

I need some serious help. I’ve been married for 5 and half years. Both 2nd marriage. We used to get along very well but things changed. My H and I have been living on and off together for the last 3 years. First job was the reason but it became the excuse later. Bottom line is my H told me few times that we don’t have a marriage but a peace a paper that says we are married. He hasn’t told me he loves me for the last 3 years. We stopped having sex 4 months ago (before it was maybe once every other month). 

He tells me he has no respect for me as his wife. He told me to have a boyfriend, because he can not be emotional with me. Many times when we used to have sex once in a blue moon he told me he had to put all his anger and frustration aside to be able to get intimate with me. I got tire of hearing it and I told him I didn’t need his pity sex (that was 4 months ago). 

He has lots of complains about me, we tried therapy. We went 4 times, and then he had to leave for work. He came back 5 weeks later and decided he didn’t want to see the therapist anymore because it wasn’t working and the therapist didn’t understand him. Also there is no reason to waist time because it is not going to work, because I simply don’t get it. 

Well when he comes back to town, we usually have very good time together. We go out, laugh, talk, etc. Last week he was with me and I couldn’t hold my anger and frustration back and I told him that I couldn’t understand, if I was such a ****ty wife, then why he is not filling for divorce. He just stayed silent.

I am in denial and I am still trying to satisfy him. I still talk about our dreams together, I still think that things are going to get better.. 

Am I in denial or he is massing with my head? Or both?:scratchhead:


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## Marianne (Apr 27, 2013)

He is awful to you! You obviously have low self esteem if you are with someone who tells you they don't respect you, or the marriage. What's the point in even being together then? He clearly has issues if he treats his wife like and says he has a lot of anger and frustration. Why is he angry? You are in denial. He won't change. He's been like this for 3 years. I have a similar problem with my husband not respecting the marriage, and as much as I would love for him to change, the reality is he won't. It's just finding the strength to face reality and look after ourselves and leave.


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## Cla (May 26, 2013)

Thank you for your respond, I am sure you are right, but facing the truth makes me so sad that I rather be in denial. I have no respect for my self. I am sorry you also are going through similar issue. Good luck to you dear.


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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

A hunch that he has another woman who he's met during his travels. Have you checked? 

His behavior is odd and no you shouldn't consider sticking around because you can't face reality.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Cla said:


> Thank you for your respond, I am sure you are right, but facing the truth makes me so sad that I rather be in denial. I have no respect for my self. I am sorry you also are going through similar issue. Good luck to you dear.


Facing the truth might make you sad, but once you deal with that sadness, you can empower yourself to do something about it. Life is way to short to spend letting a jerk like this make you miserable.


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