# Hi, New here



## simonswife (Nov 3, 2009)

I just found this forum, so I thought I would introduce myself. I'm in my mid-thirties, and I'm a college writing teacher. My husband is currently unemployed and back in school after a LONG break. I have two children, who live with us, and my husband has five, who live across the country with their mother. They spend summers with us, which has been crowded with everyone living in this one house! Our kids get along with each other well enough (their ages match), so summers are noisy and crowded but OK. 

My parents and I built our current home together after my divorce, and my husband moved in after we were married in 2006. My grown up niece and nephew live with us as well. My husband can't handle living with my family anymore, so we bought my parents out on their half of the house. My parents, niece, and nephew will be moving out in a few weeks, when their new house is completed across the street. Currently we have four cats (two are mine, the other two will be moving out) and two dogs (one is ours, the other will be moving out). My husband isn't entirely happy about having animals in the house, but he puts up with it.

We've been married for 3 1/2 years, and it hasn't been so smooth lately. I feel like I have lost respect for my husband, and I know I am not treating him as kindly or compassionately as I should. Those are things I'm working on right now.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

It seems like he is making a lot of demands - but isn't contributing so much to the household financially. Does he do a lot of housework/fixing/repairing of the house?

Is he pulling his weight?





simonswife said:


> I just found this forum, so I thought I would introduce myself. I'm in my mid-thirties, and I'm a college writing teacher. My husband is currently unemployed and back in school after a LONG break. I have two children, who live with us, and my husband has five, who live across the country with their mother. They spend summers with us, which has been crowded with everyone living in this one house! Our kids get along with each other well enough (their ages match), so summers are noisy and crowded but OK.
> 
> My parents and I built our current home together after my divorce, and my husband moved in after we were married in 2006. My grown up niece and nephew live with us as well. My husband can't handle living with my family anymore, so we bought my parents out on their half of the house. My parents, niece, and nephew will be moving out in a few weeks, when their new house is completed across the street. Currently we have four cats (two are mine, the other two will be moving out) and two dogs (one is ours, the other will be moving out). My husband isn't entirely happy about having animals in the house, but he puts up with it.
> 
> We've been married for 3 1/2 years, and it hasn't been so smooth lately. I feel like I have lost respect for my husband, and I know I am not treating him as kindly or compassionately as I should. Those are things I'm working on right now.


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## simonswife (Nov 3, 2009)

Yes, he contributes financially. He is on unemployment with a grant for his schooling because the position he has always worked in now requires a degree. He also does most of the cooking, and all the car and yard maintenance.

I'm having a hard time mostly with his emotional ups and downs. I feel like he's become emotionally unstable. He has actually left several times (I stopped counting after 4) and always comes back sometime the same day, and then he's totally depressed. He has made a lot of demands, but I feel like that is an area where we have made a lot of progress.


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