# Divorce Paperwork?



## AndreaJK (Jul 28, 2021)

Hi there. My name is Andrea. I’m 22 years old and I’m going through a divorce. I’m extremely stressed about filing. It would be an uncontested divorce. My wife and I (same sex marriage) both mutually agree. I went to the county clerk today to start the process and they were no help at all. They gave me two pieces of paper and were like “do it yourself, diy type thing.” I am so upset. Who else has gotten a divorce or has gotten the paperwork started? I don’t know what any of the terms mean or how to even start. Nor can I afford it. Please help.


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

To file for an uncontested divorce you just fill out the form and pay the filing fee. Very straight forward with uncontested.


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

My XH and I did online forms ($300) that walked you through it, plus I think another $150 to file. And we had a house and kids and child support to deal with. Still easy peasy.

I am assuming at 22 you and your wife don’t have many assets. So take a breath and look at one section at a time. What term don’t you understand?


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## AndreaJK (Jul 28, 2021)

Bluesclues said:


> My XH and I did online forms ($300) that walked you through it, plus I think another $150 to file. And we had a house and kids and child support to deal with. Still easy peasy.
> 
> I am assuming at 22 you and your wife don’t have many assets. So take a breath and look at one section at a time. What term don’t you understand?


The papers keep talking about the plaintiff and defendant. That’s scares me. It says papers have to be delivered to her? We currently reside in the same place. But It all sounds very volatile. It also talks about a Summons With Notice or Summons and Complaint and Notice of Automatic Orders. I don’t know what any of that means.


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

The plaintiff would be you (person filing) and defendant would be your wife. If the jargon is intimidating then I’d suggest using an online service to help file - but all of this can be googled too. I’d even be willing to bet there’s YouTube videos about how to fill it out for an uncontested divorce!


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

In every divorce someone has to be the plaintiff and someone has to be the defendant. When it is uncontested that feels icky but it is what it is. Whomever winds up being the defendant doesn’t have a disadvantage in any way.

There definitely are free DIY divorce resources by state online that you can refer to. But some states are more complicated than others, even in an uncontested divorce, and may reject your forms for some obscure bureaucratic reason. I would save up the money and use one of the companies that does online divorce forms. Most have guarantees about being accurate by state laws. I had an attorney (my sister) look at ours before I filed them and she said they were better than what she would provide (don’t ask why I didn’t have her do them!). I printed them, we went together to have them notarized (that was proof he was served), brought them to the courthouse with a check and that was it. We waited for our court date. On our date judge asked if we understood what we were agreeing to, we both said yes and approved they our petition for divorce. We hugged and then waited for the official decree to come in the mail.


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## CupCake522 (Mar 24, 2013)

AndreaJK said:


> The papers keep talking about the plaintiff and defendant. That’s scares me. It says papers have to be delivered to her? We currently reside in the same place. But It all sounds very volatile. It also talks about a Summons With Notice or Summons and Complaint and Notice of Automatic Orders. I don’t know what any of that means.


You can send it by certified mail with a return signature receipt to your wife .


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## Parallax857 (May 15, 2012)

I'm a divorce attorney. It's not uncommon for someone to pay for an initial consultation just to get some coaching on the process. The law is different in every state so you need to find someone who practices in your state. An hour of attorney time can be expensive if one doesn't have much money but when one considers that you're trying to do something that's significant and complex, it's not so bad. If your car needed a repair that cost a few hundred dollars, you'd find a way to pay it. This is at least as significant so I recommend getting some help. 

In saying this, please understand that I have no personal interest in this other than to be helpful. You're not going to consult with me and I have more than enough work. If you were my sister I'd say exactly the same thing. The only difference is that if you didn't have enough money to pay for an initial consultation, I'd offer to pay for it for you.


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