# Girlfriend won't talk to me after argument



## midsman

So here's the background...

We are both 30.

My girlfriend - has been down in the dumps for the last month or so. The doctor thought she might have thyroid problems. She went for the test which was all normal but she has down in the dumps, run down, a bit irritable and worried about what might be wrong. Something isn't right but not found an answer yet.

Me - I've been under pressure at work - worried about losing my job the last month or so and that sort of thing so I haven't been a bundle of fun lately either but I have a habit of hiding when I'm stressed or worried, don't talk about it and bottle it up. I didn't tell my girlfriend how worried I have been.

Our relationship - Been together for 18 months. I work away so we only see each other every weekend and at holidays. She lives with her Dad (her Mum died a couple of years ago which hit her hard). We have been talking about me moving so we can live together. I think this makes her a bit nervous because of the risk I'll be taking but I've explained to her I don't mind taking the risk. We talk and text every day in the week when I am away with work.

The argument - we got together on Saturday like usual. We went out for a few drinks and had a fairly nice day together. However, that day or the day before she had got a text from an ex boyfriend. He texts every week or so which annoys me a bit but I know it's no threat, she tells me when he's text and I let it go. Anyway, when we got back to where we were staying it was fairly late and we were both a bit drunk. We went to bed and she basically didn't want to get intimate or anything. Because I'd had a few drinks I made a remark about it (I didn't say anything too nasty) and then brought up the ex texting her. The argument escalated from there with me focussing on the ex boyfriend that won't seem to go away. I started shouting, swearing and saying things I didn't mean and it finished with her getting in a taxi going home basically telling me that I was being stupid and it was over, etc. We have never argued like this before.

What's happened after the Argument -

I realised right away how horrible I had been and texted her saying sorry, that I knew I was being an idiot and that I love her. I sent this about 30 mins after she left - I didn't get a reply which was no surprise after how I had spoken to her.

The next day I waited until late Sunday afternoon and texted saying it was all my fault, I was under pressure at work, bottled it up, blew a gasket and took it out on her which was wrong of me, I said should have talked to her about being under stress and again said how sorry I was and that I love her - she never replied.

I tried to phone her a few hours later about 8pm in the evening - she didn't answer.

I sent a very brief text straight after trying to call her asking her to please talk to me and once again said I was really really sorry for being horrible.

On Monday I didn't text or try to call but sent flowers to her home with an apology note saying sorry and how much I love her - still haven't heard anything back.

What do I do now?

It's now Tuesday and I don't know what to do - I still haven't heard anything from her.

I'm tempted to go around to see her at some point but how long shall I wait? I don't want to text, email or try to call her again because I don't want to pester her.

I just don't know how long to wait until I make contact again or what the best way to make contact is. Should I wait a few days or a week or so to let things calm down and then go around, try to call, email or text?

I know she will be angry and I have said how sorry I am so before I do anything else I know I need to give it time. I just don't know how much time to give it - I don't want to wait too long so she thinks I'm not bothered!

Any advise appreciated - Thanks.


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## maggierose

whew! this sounds icky. Sorry you are going through this... I really don't have any advise as to how long you sould wait that is entirely up to you, I am surprised after all you have done you haven't gotten any response at all, I would be bothered by that and it could be a bad sign.. I will tell you that bottling feelings up is the worst thing you can do because you blow up exactly how you did..... even though you say you hide when your stressed you don't.. you may not talk about what is bothering you but we all do it... we become distant and a partner can feel that, you begin to feel shut out of the person's life, this on top of not seeing you enough may have turned her around...sounds to me like she was desparate for attention and the ex was provided that while you were away.... I really don't know what to tell you except try to talk to her and if you really love her don't stop trying.. if she keeps shutting you out maybe that's your answer.... good luck.


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## Susan2010

I'm really surprised you did not go to her house on Saturday, Sunday, or Monday, and still not today. What are you waiting for?

Get to her house for two reasons.........
1. She is very upset but needs you to show up. Texts and calls are fine, but this girl needs you in the flesh when you make amends, and she is sick of the various forms of communication anyway. As maggierose suggested, you better find a way to be with your woman on a regular basis. A person can feel lonely all by themselves. She doesn't need someone she calls "boyfriend" to make her feel lonely. And if she feels lonely, SOMEONE is going to move in your territory.

2. She took a cab. You have not heard from her or seen her since she walked out the door and got into a cab. I cannot believe it never occurred to you make sure she arrived home safely. You have no idea if she ever made it there. You have no idea if she is dead or alive. And nothing ever occurred to you except to be selfish and ask for forgiveness. Go see about her and make sure she is still breathing and could have returned your texts and calls if she wanted to, as opposed to being unable to.

I hope you can see that you have no concern for her. I hope you realize she is well aware of that fact.


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