# new here, my story, what do you think?



## frustrated3 (Jan 30, 2012)

so i have been married for 7 years together for 10 years and my husband had an affair  . but let me start at the begining....

2005-i got pregnant with 1st child 3 months into marriage not being able to afford to stay in a big city we moved back to my home town, well i did when i was 6 months pregnant and hubby followed 2.5 months later he stayed to fix up condo even tho nothing changed during that time. after #1 was born he met someone online i found out got mad and it ended.

2008-i got pregnant with #2 when i was 3months pregnant hubby went to work for his parents 2hr drive away and only came home on weekends or every other weekend untl #2 was 6 months old then he quite working for parents and moved back home. thats when he discovered FB and found his ex g/f and i found all the messages on how talking to her was the highlight of his day. after i found out it ended.

2011-then there was #3... a whoops.... i freaked out and he reasured me that we were married and everything would be fine. it wasn't. i found out when i was 6 months pregnant that he was having an affair starting when i was 3months pregnant. she knew all about me and the kids, she was only 20 while he was 30. 

when i found out about it i kicked him out he broke up with her the next day (see a pattern) and went to live with his parents. i was lonely and didnt want to face that my marriage was over so i did everything i could to try to convince him to come back, beg, pleaded, and cryed i even tryed to stay friends and talk everyday. during this time i made it perfictly clear that in order for me to even consider letting him come back we would have to start from square one again datng, we/he would need to do couselling, he would have to get STD tested etc. he responded by saying he has been unhappy for the past 4years (which i know is a lie to convince himself) and that he was finally starting to be happy and wasnt coming back (this was after being gone 3 weeks). 

so here i was a stay at home single mom 6 months pregnant with a 3 and 6year old i was stuck. at that point i cut ties with him not talking unless it was about when he was getting the kids and for how long (he takes them every 2nd weekend for 24hrs, awesome dad i know). 3.5 months later at daughters school christmas concert i noticed he was checking me out, i just giggled to myself as i was thinking that he must not have a girl friend if he is checking out someone he has been with for past 10 years. 4 weeks later (2 weeks ago) my mom was around when he picked up the kids and she was telling me how he was deffinatly checking me out. during that visit he kept asking the kids to stop talking because he was trying to talk to me about his drive and work, all i was thinking was take them and go. during that visit he asked if i still needed help moving a big tv i said no i had someone else who would help his tone quickly changed more sad as he said "oh.... good for you" (it was just my friends hsband but he didnt ask and i wasnt telling). since then he has included me once in the messages he sends the kids and seems to be trying to find excusess to talk to me. 

my issue right now is it has been 5 months since D-day i receaved my papers from lawyer for child/spousal support and the divorce papers (it was only supposed to be child support and spousal support not dvorice papers too) i have corrected all the errors on it and just need to fax it back to lawyer. i want to R even after everything because we have been together 10yrs and have 3 kids and honestly i miss my best friend more then anything. he seems he might be starting to pull his head out of his butt im just worried when he gets the papers it might scare him off or worse... he will sign them and then it will be over. 

i guess i should just send them. he hasnt made any indications that he wants to R and i dont want to wast my life waiting. 

what do you think of the situation?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He's a serial cheater so the chances of him being faithful in the future are small.

You might want to go ahead and let the divorce be filed. Surely he's smart enough to know that a divorce can be stopped at any point until it's final. If anything will shock him to his sense the divorce papers will.


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## frustrated3 (Jan 30, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> He's a serial cheater so the chances of him being faithful in the future are small.


true and i dont want me and the kids to go threw this over and over. ive come a long way in the past 5 months


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Protect yourself and your children. Their father is certainly not thinking of their welfare.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Protect yourself and your children. Their father is certainly not thinking of their welfare.


Exactly. If he did, he'd be moving heaven and earth to make things right for you and the kids. Because you beggwd him to come home the first time and he suffered no consequences for his actions he will do it over and over again. This is what happens when you sweep it under the rug. He doesnt think yoy're seriou. Even if he does, it shows just how little he's committed to the family and you're better off without him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## frustrated3 (Jan 30, 2012)

thank you.

your both very right, i'm faxing in the papers today. i'm a strong woman i can do this, i CAN be a single mom of 3 kids and me and my kids WILL be ok. 

the first 2 times it was just swept under the rug because i guess i didn't view those as affairs because there was no sex involved but after lurking on here for a while i can see i was very wrong.


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