# Looking for words to help me



## seekingbalance (Jan 6, 2011)

I am very up set so please excuse the fact that this may be rather interesting and scattered.

I have been married over 3 years, it hasn't all been wonderful but then marriage is not easy and I know this. DH and I have had a few major issues and they had seemed to subside for a while and last night via text DH tells me he is moving out, he is sick of me and sick of life. 

It all started when I asked him to call me in the morning and make sure that I am awake. He responded , where am I going now? Im a leader to a local moms group. (he knew i was going to this group, it meets 2 morning a month for 2 hours)
He then says i can do whatever the hell I want and I should pack his things cause he is going to leave.

I asked where this was coming from and why he is being so rash and texting me this at 2am(he works nights). I was and still am very upset. He says because he doesn't see what we are doing and why we are still married. He is not attracted to me and i nag and whine and moan about my easy stay at home mama life. He has to work and he hates his job(keep in mind he has been working at the same place for 8+yrs), i get the redundancy factor, but this is not my fault. We have 17month old son which I recently started staying home with. I worked and took DS to work with me for the first year of his life. I get the working thing but I just don't see how his life is so bad and why he is taking it out and displacing his anger on me.

I told him all this and that I love him and always will, but I'm hurt again. This isn't the first time he was said hurtful things to me. He never says sorry or admits he is wrong and never seems to care about me. I don't know where to go from here, he is currently giving me the silent treatment and won't respond to anything I say. WWYD?


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## candice912 (Sep 4, 2010)

The first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. I agree with you that he may have a lot of misplaced anger, however I never think that being angry is a good excuse to take it out on the other spouse. He needs to learn healthy communication skills. I would ask him if he is willing to go to counseling and if not, you need to go for yourself. If he insists, it sounds like you are going to need a good attorney, but I know that may not be what you want. My concern right now is protecting you and the baby especially if he is going to move out. Has he discussed anything besided his anger and his leaving? I must tell you that breaking up in a text message is already the cowardly way out. To do it to your wife, that is beyond low. I'm sorry, your 24/7 job of raising a baby is a little rougher than his fourty hour job.


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## candice912 (Sep 4, 2010)

You posted this in the wrong section. That might be why you aren't getting so many responses. Post it in the main section or the ladies lounge.


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## sweetpea (Jan 30, 2007)

I moved the thread to the ladies lounge


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

You didn't know where the main problem in your marriage is or try to avoid it by putting the all the faults on your husband?
I don't think your husband said he's sick of you only because you are a stay home mom.


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## tamara24 (Jul 14, 2010)

It sounds as if your husband isn't happy with his life and you get to take the blame. Did you discuss the decision of you staying at home with son? The added preassure of staying at home and not having the extra income could also be stressing him out,as he is the only financial provider.

Saying all this that is not a reason to leave by text messaging not just your wife,but the mother of your child. Personally, from what you wrote he has some anger issues. I would let him go. Pack his stuff and say go! Marraige is a life commitment, and he waits until you have a child and texts you that he is fed up.

I think he is angry at likfe in general but he needs a wake up call. Why shouldn't you go to a mom's group? Moms need support and stay at home moms fall into a rut and start not taking care of themselves. You should not feel guilty for this.

I imagine nce he realizes that you are not putting up with his temper tantrum and when he starts communicating like an adult that you will discuss things with him. You will see a turnaround. His life isn't going to get better by ousting his wife and kid. He is taking you for granted. Stick up for yourself. If you don't change now,things will always be like this. Don't wait for years until you wake up and realize you are not happy. Show him you will not tolerate his disrepect,you will talk to him when he decideds he wants to talk and not take out his problems with life out on you. He will come around when he realizes that you aren't going to take that bologna.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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