# "spoken and broken words"



## despratelyhoping (Jun 25, 2007)

hi all im new to this site and glad that i stumbled across it i need answers can u help? my hubby and i have been married for 5 yrs now we recently got back together after a yr seperation a yr ago. it seems as if things has gotten worst this time around while seperated he had female freinds and i had male friends and sadly for both some were more then just friends we both brought those friends along for the ride meaning secret phone calls and outtings on both parts. i constantly search my house top to bottom finding pictures, letter etc. from other women. he tell me that its nothing but i find it to be untrue when i have the letters in my hand. i dont believe anything he says. i finally let go all all my male friends but he hasnt or wont stop. he tell me that "its too late now and that i should just keep them all because he dont care any more". we live to seperate lives his friend are his friends and mine are mine we even buy soap,food and other things seperately i hate that so much. he talk negative about me to any one that will listen he introduce me to his friend as his "baby's mom" i will admit to talking to him likes hes a child being that i'm 5 years older i find myself constantly calling him a little boy we argue in public places. we cant even go to church without arguing all the way there, during and on the way home. we went to his friends house whose also married for 2 yrs. we got into a arguement there telling all of our secrets i mean the secrets that no one should have known but us i mean we really showed out until everyone that was over said " wow and u guys live together!!" evryone was like u 2 need to get a divorce! well after that i felt so dum we havent spoken any words to each other in 3weeks so just to strike up a conversation and out of spite i said out of nowhere " i hate you and i want out" he said "do what u got to do" so being spiteful i got a divorce attonery and paid the down payment of money i really dont have but any way we now walk around the house with our heads down still not speaking to each other but every once in a while we will nit pick saying things like yeah its almost over but deep down thats not what i want. im afraid to loose him forreal. i want to love him but honestly i'm afraid that i dont know how? is divorce really the answer please help sorry so long but i needed to vent!


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## reabs99 (Jul 5, 2007)

*counseling*

The worst thing you can do is not talk to each other. All that does is put distance between the two of you. Stop yelling at each other and start talking to each other. Counseling really helps! Take that step before you divorce.


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## jonathantcs (Jul 7, 2007)

*Cool down*

I think in a relationship, both couple have to be responsible if there is any argument or disagreement. 
Why not both of you cool down for a week time and then go for a short vacation. Three days will be enough.
The purpose of going for a vacation is to focus on the relationship instead of thinking on other problems like financial and children.

During the vacation, talk to each other. Let all your feelings out.
Tell him how you felt and what you wanted from this relationship.
But please remember to set an agreement 1st that the talk shoudn't have any argument, no name calling and be respectful to each other.
This way, you will find a solution instead of making things worst.
At least you both will know what you guys wanted and if he still love you, ask him to try reparing this marriage.

Solve the problem, not avoiding it....
Heart to heart talk should work...


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