# CWI has made me a GENIUS



## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

I was proud of myself last night, because of the huge amount of information I have read and learned on CWI I was actually able to help a friend out last night!!!

My H and I were having dinner and watching a baseball game with some out of town friends and they proceed to tell us their most recent "drama" and scare in their lives...they discovered that afternoon that her SISTER is having an A and they are upset and not sure what to do or how to handle the situation (they caught her so hubby doesn't know). Long story short I gave all kinds of advice, help, what to do, etc. They said this sister isn't acting like herself that they didn't even recognize her. 

My H was so proud of me and said when they initially started to speak he thought about cutting off the topic immediately for fear I would trigger (my H actually said that word-he IS listening to me-another victory I felt). He said my body language and tone were calm and more of a helpful manner. Ahh it felt good for many reasons. :smthumbup:


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Brilliant!!


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

"TAM: It'll make you a genius."

Oh wait - that's another thread!!! 

Nice to be able to help someone isn't it. Good Job!!


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

We should always help people who needs our help and who seeks our help, especially if it is about infidelity.


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## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> We should always help people who needs our help and who seeks our help, especially if it is about infidelity.


Yes! In an odd way it helped me out too. Who knew! 

I have been a basket case and unstable the last 10 days with R and having lots of fears. Not sure if I was making the right choice and all. This, and it's hard to explain, sort of grounded me and calmed my nerves. H and I ended up having an amazing evening and bonded ourselves. It was like God wanted me to hear what I was saying and actually BELIEVE it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

We are kind of awesome!


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

"TAM: Awesomeness on TAP!!"

:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

lol, funny you mention this... 

I don't really talk about this stuff in 'real' life...

But, I had a buddy that was having some big issues in his realtionship. he fell for some girl he had only been dating for 3 months.. turns out she was blowing him off, and acting weird. He found out she was talking to her ex...

He was f*cking up bigtime, being all needy and chasing her. So, I modified the 180* instructions and walked him through the rules of how to handle it. 

I "coached" him, he would tell me everyday what she was saying and doing, I would "puppet string" him through it... Well he started following them to the "T"... It's been a few months... They are back together now. Everytime I see him he's glowing, saying "dude, those rules you gave me were brilliant!! I carry them in my wallet now!". I can't believe how amazing the turn around was!!

lol.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Isn't it amazing when you can help others? That's why we're needed. Because we've had the experience and can advise those that are having difficulty. I've learned so much here on TAM and I apply the things I've learned in our marriage.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)




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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

After you have been "through" the betrayal of the affair... the lies, the secrecy, the knowing something is wrong... but not really nailing it down. You get a clarity that others just miss. 

A younger male employee (married with kids, many) in my office was taking a fancy to a cute female co-worker. She was recently divorced (1 kid in tow) she cheated on her husband. It was like watching some cheap HBO movie that I had the script in hand. He was all into the attention and smile of this woman. It was so obvious to me, but no one else. After a few weeks of BS, I approached him with the facts. He at first denied any kind interest in her. I reminded him that I sit 5 feet from you, I am a betrayed husband, I see everything, you are about to f--k your marriage, your family, your life forever... for a wanting, cheap, thrill.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

RWB, you can't leave a cliff hanger like that. What happened??


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Ingalls said:


> I was proud of myself last night, because of the huge amount of information I have read and learned on CWI I was actually able to help a friend out last night!!!
> 
> My H and I were having dinner and watching a baseball game with some out of town friends and they proceed to tell us their most recent "drama" and scare in their lives...they discovered that afternoon that her SISTER is having an A and they are upset and not sure what to do or how to handle the situation (they caught her so hubby doesn't know). Long story short I gave all kinds of advice, help, what to do, etc. They said this sister isn't acting like herself that they didn't even recognize her.
> 
> My H was so proud of me and said when they initially started to speak he thought about cutting off the topic immediately for fear I would trigger (my H actually said that word-he IS listening to me-another victory I felt). He said my body language and tone were calm and more of a helpful manner. Ahh it felt good for many reasons. :smthumbup:


This post is simply full of WIN. :smthumbup:


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Make no mistake, TAM and it's users - Yes, YOU GUYS - have been my life support machine, advisors and educational system for the last year.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

more...

This happened about 2 years ago. It was looking pretty bad at the time. On a regular basis, they were lunching together. Furthermore after work, they would go to the gym/health center at our facility to exercise or swim together.

In the end, my boss took him to lunch and said his behavior was disrupting our office work, unprofessional. He reminded him that he had a pregnant wife and children depending on him at home. 

That was it. He stopped immediately. She moved on to position away in another building. 

Normally, I would just stay out of others affairs. Not my problem, but this guy is a decent man and needed help.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Glad to hear someone saw the light before they walked off the cliff. I hope he has thanked you and his boss, or at least understands what you did for him.


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## Ingalls (Mar 7, 2012)

it's hard to stay out of it when you know how it feels or that really, now after all this, I realize the WS is in a fog and not really "themselves." 

Oh and ANOTHER "genius" moment for me...MC counselor last night hadn't heard of "Not, Just Friends" and I told her it's helped me a lot. She was going to download it and read it!


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