# Paying a babysitter/nanny



## grappleguy (Mar 20, 2012)

My wife is going back to work this fall on a part time basis as a teacher. We have found a babysitter/nanny (whatever you want to call her), but we have not yet agreed on terms like pay, number of hours etc., because my wife does not yet know her schedule. The woman that will be watching our daughter is my wife's friend's mother. 

One debate my wife and I just had about this was regarding the weeks my wife will have off. My wife gets a week for Christmas, a week in February, and a week in April for spring break. My wife is in favor of paying the babysitter for those weeks. I am not. Also, my wife is in favor of paying the babysitter for a full weeks worth of work when there is a shortened week (ie Thanksgiving). I am okay with this, as I think it's a sign of our gratitude. I don't however see how it makes sense to pay her for a week where she literally did not see our child for a minute. My wife thinks it would be rude and tacky to not pay her for these weeks. I just don't see how it makes sense. We aren't planning to pay her during the summer, so why would we pay for these weeks? Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

so the question is the pay monthly based, daily based... or even hourly based?

Juts pick one and determine the rate, it shouldn't make a tremendous difference in overall cost, this lady may also have a preference... so if she wants to get paid even on days she doesn't take your children then negotiate a smaller monthly salary. Or if she is in this to maximize her potential earnings then tell her no pay on holidays but offer a higher hourly rate as an incentive.


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## grappleguy (Mar 20, 2012)

We haven't yet determined how she will get paid. From the conversations that we've had, it seems like she prefers weekly pay, which is what led to the debate my wife and I are currently having.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

grappleguy said:


> We haven't yet determined how she will get paid. From the conversations that we've had, it seems like she prefers weekly pay, which is what led to the debate my wife and I are currently having.


In that case, I'd say if there were an entire one week pay period that she is not having to work for you it is fair to not expect to have to pay for that week.

though if it is really important to this lady and it means she would decline the job over it then you may wish to reconsider unless you happen to have any other candidates lined up for the job.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Watching kids (especially someone else') is a tough job. Maybe I wouldn't offer to pay her for every week that she is off but I would certainly offer one week of paid time off for the year like most employers offer.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

So, you are going to be paying for taxes and social security as she will be a household employee, correct? Because if she is an independent contractor and you will not be handling her taxes and social security and covering her on the liability for your house and child and anything that might happen while she is there at your place working for wages...then she should be drawing up the contract herself and setting her contract pay. But keep in mind that if you want to be able to claim child care deduction on your taxes you have to cover it one way or the other as if you claim and she doesn't she will get dinged for it. (You need her SSN to claim...) Assuming you are Stateside, otherwise not sure how this works out.

Plus, what if she is sick and can't work, then how long will you wait for her to get well, like if she has an injury or needs surgery...and will she provide the sub or will you and would she be paid for her sick time? What if you or child are sick and you can't work as a result...? Are you going to cover that too?

I would suggest looking at software such as NOLO.com which covers issues such as these and offers advice about how to set up pay, they also have sample contracts. Basically helping you with finance, tax and legal and will have power of attorney forms your caregiver will need in event of emergency... I am not affiliated with nolo.com just a satisfied user of their products.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Where I live, you pay for your spot - kid there or not via set monthly rate. Or pay daily rate for 'part-time'.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Just negotiate with the babysitter. She may agree that pre-planned weeks won't be paid.... but in case of illness or some other non-planned events she should still get her weekly amount. That way, she doesn't get screwed because of unplanned things at your house, but understands in advance that those other weeks will be unpaid.

Unless she keeps other kids too, then often all weeks are paid ....to hold the child's slot.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

SunnyT said:


> Just negotiate with the babysitter. She may agree that pre-planned weeks won't be paid.... but in case of illness or some other non-planned events she should still get her weekly amount. That way, she doesn't get screwed because of unplanned things at your house, but understands in advance that those other weeks will be unpaid.
> 
> Unless she keeps other kids too, then often all weeks are paid ....to hold the child's slot.


And if you find a good sitter - give them whatever they want to keep them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

golfergirl said:


> Where I live, you pay for your spot - kid there or not via set monthly rate. Or pay daily rate for 'part-time'.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is how it was when I had a young child. If he wasn't at daycare, I still paid or he wouldn't have a spot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

When i was a nanny, I went to work sick  Kids got me sick so share the love. Right?

Even now I go to work sick. Students got me sick...so....ACHOO on you!


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## *needaunderstand* (Jun 11, 2012)

if you can afford it, then i would pay the extra. you may need her for any unexpected things that may come up. if you dont have the extra, then i would come up with a daily pay and pay her weekly for what days she did work. like any other job you may want to give her a weeks paid vaction.


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## GhostRydr (Jun 2, 2012)

Mrs.K said:


> Watching kids (especially someone else') is a tough job. Maybe I wouldn't offer to pay her for every week that she is off but I would certainly offer one week of paid time off for the year like most employers offer.


Paid time off is given by employers according to a formula of how many hours WORKED in a year. I think it doesnt begin to kick in until like around 1070 hrs. Unless a sitterl is hired as a standby sitter to be available at the drop of a dime on any whim and agrees to literally hand back their popcorn at the movie counter if called upon, they dont deserve a penny of money for not performing the job.

Sitters get money for hours worked. Since everyone agrees that watching babies is hard work then she deserves at least $10hr with maybe a 3hr minimum...so if ya get back in 2 hrs she gets $30. plus you kick in for the food.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

GhostRydr said:


> Paid time off is given by employers according to a formula of how many hours WORKED in a year. I think it doesnt begin to kick in until like around 1070 hrs. Unless a sitterl is hired as a standby sitter to be available at the drop of a dime on any whim and agrees to literally hand back their popcorn at the movie counter if called upon, they dont deserve a penny of money for not performing the job.
> 
> Sitters get money for hours worked. Since everyone agrees that watching babies is hard work then she deserves at least $10hr with maybe a 3hr minimum...so if ya get back in 2 hrs she gets $30. plus you kick in for the food.


Depends where you live and if sitter comes in or not. In Canada, if nanny comes to your home you pay minimum wage plus your portion of government deductions like an employee. There's no deal at 3 hour cut off. If you take child to her home and she babysits others, you can set a daily rate. That said, she sets contract and if she chooses you pay to hold your spot, then I guess your choice is pay, renegotiate, or find other services. It's commom to charge around $400-$500 a month flat rate or $30 a day part-time. That said, your babysitter is looking after one of the most important people in your life so why cheap out. Until you've scrambled to find child care because your babysitter starts cancelling on you, you might not appreciate how rare great child care is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fianceofangler (Oct 7, 2012)

She gets 2 weeks paid vacation a year. She picks the weeks. Or make her do other stuff like clean or organize. Holiday off or if she decides to work that day pay her extra. If you will pay her hourly, give her minimum hours worth of payment those weeks you dont need her.


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

I nannied all through college.

Two weeks paid vacation is standard (one she picks, one you pick)

But your wife is right on...and it will be tacky if you don't pay her for other weeks you don't have her work.

You pay her because she's not taking the weeks off of her own volition.

She has no choice. You're making it for her.

You're making the decision "you don't get paid this week".

(that said, I don't think it's wrong if you have her come and do something else, non-childcare related....errands or something...that kinda depends on her though (you should work that out up front and make sure you don't spring any new duties on her later though)

Also, there are plenty of families who don't pay for the weeks they make their nanny take off...you just run the risk of the nanny leaving.

In my case,

I worked for an absolutely dreadful mother for 6 months.

Then I ended up with an awesome family and stayed for 4 years.

The awesome family was extremely "generous"...but I was also really good at my job...and the kid's loved me...so I'm sure it was worth it to them

Kinda depends on your nanny and your situation.

Also, (and I may be a bit biased here):

It sounds like you have a good wife

So congrats


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## clarabarton (Aug 23, 2012)

I used to babysit other kids when ours were younger and I was home with them. I NEVER expected to be paid for weeks when I did not have someone's kids at all. It never even crossed my mind that that should be a consideration. Also during weeks that were shortened for whatever reason, I never expected to be paid for the day(s) of that week I didn't have the kids. My idea would be to show her your appreciation maybe at Christmas, her birthday, or just do something for her randomly at an "odd" time when she would not expect it, like give her a card with a gift certificate in it or something.


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## MelissaNV (Feb 18, 2014)

grappleguy said:


> My wife is going back to work this fall on a part time basis as a teacher. We have found a babysitter/nanny (whatever you want to call her), but we have not yet agreed on terms like pay, number of hours etc., because my wife does not yet know her schedule. The woman that will be watching our daughter is my wife's friend's mother.


To get a baseline on babysitting/nanny rates in your area you can go here: *ReliableSitters.org | Find reliable sitters in your area.*

Click on '*Babysitting Rates*' on the right hand side.

Hope that helps you decide what to pay her. Best of luck!


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