# I can't have sex



## warge (May 23, 2014)

I have a really bad sexual problem and I need help. I'm only 32 years old and I can get an erection. The problem is that I can't get an erection with a woman. I used to watch porn a lot and masturbate multiple times per day. It got to the point where I needed more and more hardcore porn to maintain a erection and ejaculate. I only started watching porn a few years ago but I've masturbated for at least 18 years on a daily basis When the sexual problems first started (around 3 years ago), I didn't give up porn or masturbation and this went on for years. I was with my partner for years then and even though she said she understood, I never felt that she actually did. I was able to satisfy her orally but my penis almost always never worked around her.

Recently, I've given up the porn and I only watch it 1-2 times per week. I also try to only masturbate once per week. Still, I have a problem keeping an erection with a woman. I've gotten my testosterone levels tested and they are normal. I've gotten viagra and cialis and although they work, they don't help me get an erection with a woman. I can take a viagra pill and have a rock hard boner an hour later. Bring a woman around me and it's limp the entire time. I know now that my problem is psychological.

There's a new woman that I'm seeing. She is very attractive and has the perfect body. We have met up for sex 3 times and the first time, I was able to have sex with her for around 20 minutes before losing the erection. The 2nd time, I could never get a erection so I had to do other things to her so she could finish. Yesterday, I knew we were meeting up and she said that she had a surprise for me to help fix this problem. When I got up in the morning to meet her, I was really anxious and my heart was racing. Despite that, I was able to get an erection in my home easily. I laid down and had sexual thoughts about her and I was able to get an erection easily without even touching my penis. Just to make sure things would work, I took 150 mg of viagra before I left the house to meet her.

When I got there, we relaxed in the room for a while and I did a few things to make her finish. When it was time for my surprise, she had some oil that she put around my private area. She went to suck it off and it got warm while she was doing it. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate like I did earlier but I did not get an erection. She tried for a few minutes down there but I just couldn't do it. She said that it was ok but I really feel like crap. To make matters worse, we left later on and when I was talking to her by her car, I had a massive boner. She noticed it and made comments about it. I was kind of embarrassed by it because it didn't work the entire time we were together in the room and it wasn't until we were in a nonsexual situation that I was able to get a consistent hard erection around her.

I am in desperate need of help. I can sit here and have a sexual fantasy in my head and get a instant erection. If I'm with a woman and I try to think about the same things, I cannot get an erection. I really need help because this is destroying my life. Weight is not an issue for me and I'm in really great shape. I have a somewhat active social life but I am under stress sometimes. I workout regularly and I've tried therapy in the past. All of this has not helped. If anyone can point me towards and good books or maybe some good advice, I would really appreciate it because I am ashamed of this and it is destroying my life.


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