# My turn to ask for input...



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So here's my situation... Recently separated, and I've more recently started a new relationship. Started as "NSA", gradually strings are developing, and it's all good. The sex is the most incredible I've ever experienced. Both of us are in sync with our fantasies, desires, frequency... Of course, it's still very early.

But here's the rub... I'm not sure what the issue is... Mental, physical, whatever. But it seems that getting and maintaining a proper erection isn't happening like it used to, like as recently as last summer. And it's mostly "one and done" for me, even during our 6 hour dates. Fortunately, she seems more than happy with other forms of stimulation, so she hasn't commented on it. But it's bugging me.

I'm going to make a medical appointment to start checking some things out... The desire is definitely there; I love our long sessions, being with her, can't get enough of her. Attraction isn't a problem either... She's a beautiful woman, an incredible body, etc... I literally can't keep my hands off her when we're together. Does that mean that something like Vitamin V will magically fix me up? 

Some of the other things I've thought about are:
- Lifestyle changes. This summer, I was running a LOT more than I am now. With the changes in my life, it seems like I run 3 times one week, then take 2+ weeks off. During the summer, I was running 6x a week, and 50 or 60 miles per week. I'm trying to get back into it, though.
- Condom usage. 6 months ago, this wasn't an issue or concern. Now, its mandatory. I hate them, hate having to stop to put them on, etc. This does have a tendancy to take the wind out of my sails, so to speak.

As an FYI, I'm a 43 year old guy. In good physical shape; even though my running has been cut back, I've maintained my 6' 165 pound physique through the Christmas holidays and stress of a marriage breakup.

C


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Ok, being recently separated adds mad stress.... one question... can i assume that since you are taking on a new relationship that your separation is not just that, but just a step towards an already decided on divorce? If not, you may want to consider if guilt couldbe playing a role in it? (hoping to get back with SO, but knowing that f'n around pretty much kills that)

Just a thought... I don't know the whole story so if I am way off, that's probably why


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Yeah, condoms do it for me too. . .it's a cliche - but it's like taking a shower with a raincoat on.

I'm your age too and I don't know. . .perhaps a feeling of entitlement or whatever, but I am 42 freekin' years old, not 17 years old and don't feel like I shoudl have to wear a condom. I know all the reasoning, as I am a healthcare provider and totally get it, but subconsciously, this is the way I feel.

And you are right. . .exercise is really a great wild card in the erection game also. . .wheN i am swimming 3-5 miles/week, the big guy is at attention a lot more.

No two ways about it - guys HAVE to take care of themselves after age 40.

No smoking, limit alcohol (I don't even touch teh stuff if I think sex is in the cards), control cholesterol, exercise. . .both strength training and cardio.

the days of drinking, smoking, pizza eating, wild inhibited frat party sex are gone.

The Mrs. Robinson's of the forum can go for those.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Thanks for the input so far!

Woodstock, on a conscious level, there's no guilt. The separation is definitely a final one. It's amicable, but I have no desire to go back, and am fine with that. Since the separation, I'm sleeping better and am much more relaxed overall than the months before. No stress headaches, grinding jaws at night, etc. As far as stress goes, I was also under a lot of job related stress for the first 2 months of the year, working 85+ hour weeks. That's MOSTLY gone away, but not entirely. I know this can be affecting things too.

Scannerguard, for me (WRT the condoms) it's not so much the actual wearing one in the act (so to speak). It's more the delays in getting the damn things on. I was using the "non-latex" ones to ditch the pleasant rubbery aroma, but I found they were terribly inflexible and even more difficult to get on because of that. Gonna try the latex ones and see if that improves things at all.

We did have a brief discussion awhile ago about getting tested and trusting each other. We've been together now for two months, and that talk was a month ago. I'm comfortable with trusting her at this point, so maybe I'll bring it up again (that was over a month ago), and just let her tell me when she's ready. No sense pressuring her on that. 

Exercise... I don't know if cardio is the way to go is sex is the primary concern. Thoughts? I thought weight training was supposed to be the way to emphasize testosterone production, but that's not my primary focus, to be honest. Although I should be able to fit in a couple of sessions of strength training.

I don't smoke (never have), and I drink very little. In particular, I don't drink on date nights.  I eat relatively healthy; as I said, even with cutting back my running from 10 hours per week to basically zero, I managed to maintain my weight, and that's almost 7000 calories per week. Plus I eat healthy, not just controlled.

One other thing that I thought of... Both my partner and I love teasing each other. Even though our relationship is/was primarily an NSA sexual relationship from the start, we have as many dates where teasing is the focus of the date. For example, this last weekend she was diagnosed with strep throat. So when we saw each other on Monday, there was no kissing allowed (she was worried about being contagious, even though she'd started the antibiotics). Then yesterday, I decided Monday was so much fun that even though we were both healthy and safe, I'd continue that. Coming as close to kissing as we could get, but not actually following through. And clothes stayed on... All in anticipation of this weekend. Friday might be another teasing day, preparing for a longer date on Saturday.

But the thought I had was... Is all this teasing causing me difficulties? As part of this, we've also laid off, how shall we say... Becoming masters of our own domain... Not all the time, but we'll set limits, like 3 or 4 days before a planned date. So basically, teasing, building anticipation, but no release for relatively long periods of time. Whereas when I was married, we'd go for weeks without sex, but I'd spank the monkey on a regular basis. Daily for extended periods wasn't uncommon. Might even slip in a two-fer occasionally just for fun. As part of that, I'd go looking for much more porn than I do now...

I realize this might be way TMI, but there you go... Just talking out loud (virtually)...  Lots of changes in my life, and trying to figure out have caused the half mast issue is a struggle.

C


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

if you have a problem maintaining an erection when putting a condom on, have your partner put it on with her mouth.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Yeah, well, I hear you about how sex is different now. . .having been sexless thru most of my 30's, I only have my 20's and my 40's to compare.

I never experienced that healthy transition during a functional marriage.

I feel foreplay has changed (regarding all of your teasing).

It's a mixed bag. I need foreplay now. . .but if I get too much of it (somewhere more than 30 minutes), then I just lose it. It's like it says, "Eh, I guess you aren't getting laid." Luckily, I have an awesome partner who doesn't like a lot of it either. She seems just as happy to wake up and do it vs. all the nice foreplay stuff.

So optimally, the flow is 5 to 30 minutes of foreplay and then into intercourse.

Maybe you need to speed it up a bit? Enough fooling around. . .get humping, you know?

Of course, psychological teasing is always good (sexting, etc.).

I think strength training is more related to libido vs. performance. Performance is yes, a function of weight more. . .wehn I start to creep up. . .function goes down.

A "quick fix" (but also can be a lifestyle) is to incorporate some fasting into your health regimen, if you aren't diabetic or have some other health issue. All the blood gets redirected from your stomach to other organs.

Here is my website: Fasting Basics: Your Guide To The Practice of Fasting

IT hasnt' been worked on in ages but the info is good.

Yeah, no wacking off either - that goes without saying but it isn't like we are 17 years old either. I was a daily kind of guy too but now I have discovered I can go a whole 3-4 days without thinking about an orgasm.

Wow. . .I am growing up


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Stopping Masterbation might be part of the issue. Its usually backwards from what people think. Doing that more might help. Also, Separation had a profound affect on keeping it up for me. You said you are better than you have ever been, but when I was going through it, was the first time I ever had an issue. I can do the dead 5+ times a day if needed, but while separated, I had issues a few times keeping it up after a great date and wanting it all week.

Anyways, jerk it more, and work out a bit more and I think that will help. Otherwise, condoms will always be a damper. Get a c*ck ring if that would help.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Thanks again for the input! 

Chris, I've heard of that technique. But quite honestly, it's a struggle for me to get the [email protected] things on with my hands (even at full mast)... How does that work with her mouth?

Scannerguard, sex has changed a lot from my previous relationship to this one... The duration in particular of a "session" is different, as we've been setting aside time specifically to play, like an afternoon or evening. The teasing foreplay is mostly psychological throughout the week, not the day of. And I guess that's part of my frustration (the not being 17 anymore)... It was just this last summer that I was a daily kind of guy, and then I had no willing partner to share it with. Now I've got someone to share it with, and it feels like my body is letting me down. How unfair is that?  Oh well, it's given me reason to step up with some of my other skills, which has kept her from complaining or possibly even noticing. I'd like to think so, anyway. 

Anx, thanks for that... I did think about that. You know, keep the blood flow going and all that...  Can't hurt to give that a try! Not sure about "doing the dead", though... I do have my limits.

I did look at the c*ck rings as well. Seemed that getting the right size can be all sorts of fun. Any suggestions on that? I think on site I looked at suggested starting with an assortment of o-rings from a local hardware store to begin with, and find the size that works with that. Then think if you want a metal one based on that size. I'm pretty sure my partner would be down with that... 

One other change (the list of changes is getting long!) is that she got me shaving. I doubt that has anything to do with this issue, but who knows... I do enjoy that though, and don't think I'll be going back anytime soon.

I did stop by the local Medicenter, and talked the doctor into a trial prescription of Cialis... I've got a date on Saturday, so I'll report back if I end up taking one. Not sure if I like the idea of dealing with the problem through medication though... I don't want to rely on a crutch. But if that gets the confidence back... There was talk of a foursome next week...  And golf doesn't start for another few months!

C


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Yeah, since anx shared, I think it's fair I shared - while I was separated, the first time was a "Drunken Fiasco" for me.

We both drank a bottle of wine that night (a bottle each) and decided we'd have sex.

Well, that was about the stupidest piece of judgment on my part as teh guy (who is responsible for performance) there ever was. I was nervous to begin with, the alcohol, it just didn't happen. . .made me nervous the second time. . .finally, the third time it worked and i got into a rhythm.

So, as someone notes, dont' discount psychological at all. . .very, VERY potent.

Yes, I felt guilty and that is kind of the cruelty with guys from the perspective a sexless marriage - you need your WIFE, not just a WOMAN, but you have no choice, because your WIFE has taken herself off the market.

Women have it easier - no performance issues. They just hop in bed with the next guy.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband has never used a condom, he just shoots out. It is usually an erotic scene. So far he hasn't made any mistakes yet. 

I don't like condoms either. Scanner said it is like taking a shower with a raincoat on. I feel it is like scratching your leg with your boots on. The feeling is just not right.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

> Seemed that getting the right size can be all sorts of fun. Any suggestions on that?


Yes, I am a couple sizes bigger than you, but the ladies of the forum all say size doesn't matter.

They had to call in blacksmith for me.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Yes, I am a couple sizes bigger than you, but the ladies of the forum all say size doesn't matter.
> 
> They had to call in blacksmith for me.


We say sizes don't matter when we have a small one, we say big ones send us to heaven when we have a big one. 

Have you even been fooled?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Scannerguard, well, you live far away from me, so I'm not too worried about you and your blacksmith buddy...  And while I haven't had a "failure to launch" yet, there hasn't been a daily double either. Which wasn't a problem before. But I've made a note on the "don't drink and drive (so to speak)". 

Greenpearl, I've been fixed, so I'm not worried about condoms from a birth control perspective. It's more a health concern, and for that, the withdraw method isn't an option. But I've been tested recently, and we've been exclusive with each other since we've started seeing each other, so... Maybe if I tell her the only way the condom is going on is with her mouth (ala Chris's suggestion) she might be willing to negotiate. 

C


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> We say sizes don't matter when we have a small one, we say big ones send us to heaven when we have a big one.
> 
> Have you even been fooled?


And let's keep the size discussions out of this! I have enough confidence issues going on as it is! 

C


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

LELO BO Gentleman's Vibrating Ring. Its the right size for me and great for her. There is really no way I can get off while using it (the vibrating is distracing), but I'm able to use that and a condom and am fine when we do that(Its a meaty dildo thing I guess). I don't have another one though, so I'm not sure what else would be good. Hardware store sounds like a good place to start lol.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

PBear said:


> Scannerguard, well, you live far away from me, so I'm not too worried about you and your blacksmith buddy...  And while I haven't had a "failure to launch" yet, there hasn't been a daily double either. Which wasn't a problem before. But I've made a note on the "don't drink and drive (so to speak)".
> 
> Greenpearl, I've been fixed, so I'm not worried about condoms from a birth control perspective. It's more a health concern, and for that, the withdraw method isn't an option. But I've been tested recently, and we've been exclusive with each other since we've started seeing each other, so... Maybe if I tell her the only way the condom is going on is with her mouth (ala Chris's suggestion) she might be willing to negotiate.
> 
> C


Then if you only have sex with each other, will that solve the problem?  Wait a minute, you mentioned foursome, what does that mean? 

I don't like to live in fear!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I am curious here. 

Do you guys know about Chinese medicine?

Chinese men drink and eat a lot of things to make them last long and stay hard. 

They drink snake wine, deer tail wine, tiger penis wine, lots of things. They eat Ginseng chicken, shark fin, bird nest. They think that those things can enhance men's sexual desire. 

I have never tried with my husband, I only know sun shine can enhance our sex drive and it is easy and free to get. No stress helps too, that's what I am working on!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Sure, eat a lot of endangered species and bird vomit. Sounds like a plan. Of what I don't know but it's a plan.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Sure, eat a lot of endangered species and bird vomit. Sounds like a plan. Of what I don't know but it's a plan.


How about snake wine and Ginseng chicken? 

They are not endangered. 

I don't know if they work it or not, but Chinese rich men drink and eat these kind of things. 

I usually take the free short cut. I go out and get more sunshine. I work on my personality so I don't get bothered by small things or life in general, peaceful and cheerful mind always put me into sexual mood. 

Ha ha ha, sex is wonderful. Have more sex and then you brain produces more endorphin, more endorphin makes you even more appreciative about life.

By the way, your name gives me a very good image!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Greenpearl, yes, if we agree to only have sex with each other and can trust each other for that, then we're all good. And the foursome was 2 couples in the same room. No swapping or sharing! 

I don't know much about Chinese medicine, no. There are a number of places around here that I could go to for that, but I'm not sure how much of the "way out there" stuff they can get, given our location. That's interesting what you say about the sunshine, and the running might help with that too. Being outside and all...  I have no problems with the desire side of things... It's just the turning plan into action that I'm a little cautious about lately. 

Thanks, anx! I'll look into the ring. [email protected], but that Lelo stuff is expensive! 

C


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I really don't know about that. I am a fan of acupuncture for chronic nerve damage in my neck and face. Maybe there's something to it. My Thai expat friends tell me raw ginseng keeps you hard. I dunno, ever EAT raw ginseng? It's like pool chemicals.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

PBear said:


> And the foursome was 2 couples in the same room. No swapping or sharing!
> 
> 
> 
> C


Never tried!

I would like to try that too, it is arousing..................

Drooling..........................


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I ate raw Ginseng, it doesn't taste too bad, just chew it slowly. 

People here usually cook it with chicken or put it in tea. I don't need it right now, maybe one day when I feel tired easily, I will try it.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

If you are just looking for a ring, something else will do.

40$ online to BUY your SO orgasms and its reusable thousands of times. BEST $40 EVER. You probably want to wait till its more long term, people don't like using sex toys from a past relationship.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Greenpearl, yes, it does sound very interesting... And I'm seriously considering it. Moreso if the confidence comes back.  Part of it's up to her as well though, as the female in the other couple is her best friend, and this obviously has a friendship changing possibility. She's not sure if it's a good thing to risk a friendship over. So for right now, we're talking fantasy/possibility. But a decision has to be made soon.

Anx, the prices I saw were $80+ (up here in Canada, at least). Then I saw the Lelo Tor, which has multiple speeds... And that's one of the things that she requested when I went toy shopping for her.  $40 would be a no brainer. $100... Not quite as easy a decision when we have a number of ways to achieve the same goal.  I'll check some of the US sites and see if they'll ship up here. Thanks again!

C


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

PBear said:


> Greenpearl, yes, it does sound very interesting... And I'm seriously considering it. Moreso if the confidence comes back.  Part of it's up to her as well though, as the female in the other couple is her best friend, and this obviously has a friendship changing possibility. She's not sure if it's a good thing to risk a friendship over. So for right now, we're talking fantasy/possibility. But a decision has to be made soon.
> 
> Anx, the prices I saw were $80+ (up here in Canada, at least). Then I saw the Lelo Tor, which has multiple speeds... And that's one of the things that she requested when I went toy shopping for her.  $40 would be a no brainer. $100... Not quite as easy a decision when we have a number of ways to achieve the same goal.  I'll check some of the US sites and see if they'll ship up here. Thanks again!
> 
> C


My husband and I saw a sex live show in Maucao, I was all curious about it, but the result was not satisfying, the male performer didn't do a good job. And they had to **** slowly because of the music, maybe that was the reason he couldn't stay hard.

I have problems with another woman in the bedroom, I am a jealous person( admit it). I would love to try these kind of activities, but jealousy is in the way, if the other woman is my clone, I might consider it. My husband can handle this kind of emotional problems, I can't. So this can only stay as a fantasy, I don't mind going to sex shows. Female strippers, male dancers dancing with erection! A lot of fun!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Greenpearl, would you be jealous if the other couple stayed on their bed, and you and your hubby stayed on yours? Just curious. Or if you and the other woman were the only people that knew each other (well, the two couples would know each other, but not the men)? Just curious... I don't have any real desire for her friend; I've seen a few pictures of her, and she's pretty enough, but I'm more than happy with my lover and find her much more attractive.

Anx, you should get a commission... I just ordered the Lelo Tor. My partner will get a surprise soon.  I figured I've spent more than that in one night of wining and dining, so what the heck.

C


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

PBear said:


> Greenpearl, would you be jealous if the other couple stayed on their bed, and you and your hubby stayed on yours? Just curious. Or if you and the other woman were the only people that knew each other (well, the two couples would know each other, but not the men)? Just curious... I don't have any real desire for her friend; I've seen a few pictures of her, and she's pretty enough, but I'm more than happy with my lover and find her much more attractive.
> 
> Anx, you should get a commission... I just ordered the Lelo Tor. My partner will get a surprise soon.  I figured I've spent more than that in one night of wining and dining, so what the heck.
> 
> C


Sometimes I wish I had a friend who I feel very close and comfortable around, I am not jealous of her and she is not jealous of me. Women like to compare, you put two women together, right away they are measuring each other's bodies, faces, clothes, and men. 

If I do have a friend who I feel close, I don't know if I will act comfortably during sex. I would love to watch and enjoy real and passionate sex, two of them **** passionately and then I get very horny and start playing with my own man. So far I don't have problems to become horny so I don't need this kind of heavy medicine yet. Don't know what's going to happen ten years later. 


For sex, men and women are really different. Men don't worry too much, you can just have fun and leave, but for women, we are different, we think too much, we worry too much! You tell me that you can just forget about everything and it's all clear, but we won't believe it. It is going to affect us emotionally, especially for the ones who have insecurity issues. 


My husband suggested threesome before, and the woman or the man is for me, but then I started worrying about diseases and harassment, trust issues. I believe my husband has the ability to control himself and not have any contact with the woman, but I don't trust the other woman or the man, they might find us tasty and want more. Anyway, we don't talk about this anymore, I am not cut out for this kind of fun.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

LOL. . .it brings up a fond memory of my ex-marriage (thanks. . .it's nice and healing when you have a good memory) when I was younger and extremely horny and slept in teh same bed in a hotel room when we went skiing with my best friend.

When he fell asleep we had "sneaky quiet sex" under the covers and no noise and minimal bed creaking.

That was my wild "threesome." LOL.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Greenpearl, my lover and her friend have been fairly open with each other, and have been naked together on multiple occasions. I've seen the pictures.  And there has been talk of threesomes as well, both for her (MFM) and for me (FMF). But I'm not done with her by herself yet, I don't think... We still have lots of exploring and learning to do with each other before someone new needs to be brought in. The 2 separate couple thing, though... That might be workable. 

And Scannerguard, I can't recall doing something similar to that... But it seemed we (my stbx and myself) had years of "sneaky quiet sex" due to kids in the next room.  Not quite the same, though. We did have sex while tenting relatively close to other people, but no squeaking mattresses then.

C


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Could be a number of different things:

- Age (not all men are still hard studs when they age), some, not all
- Blood pressure issues - the higher and longer you have it and the type of meds you are on can affect erections
- Continued alcohol use (and you don't have to be an alcoholic)
- Other meds (diabetics tend to have issues as they age)

And - condoms could be the problem also - reduces feeling/fricton.

Just remember - getting an erection is the not the be all, end all for most of us women. Considering a good portion of us cannot orgasm from intercouse alone - it's not the end of the word (at least for me).

The more you focus on it the bigger problem it will be. Psychologically you can psyche yourself into failure too - so be careful.

Good luck - hope the doctor appt comes out ok!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

MWIL, thanks for that! Some thoughts on your suggestions...

- Age: well, unless I've aged a bunch in the last 6 months, this shouldn't be an issue.  It wasn't a gradual change, but I'm thinking more to do with all the life changes I've gone through in that time.

- Blood pressure: I monitor my blood pressure regularly, and it's usually in the low-normal range.

- Alcohol use: I've never been a heavy/regular drinker, and I've cut that back over the last 2 years as well. A "heavy" night of drinking for me is 3 beer, and that that's very irregular (like once every couple of months at most). 

- Other meds: I've been taking the same supplements for the last 2 years (multi-vit, fish oil, cal/mag, and glucosiamine), but don't take any other meds regularly or have any prescriptions.

- Condoms: I know the condoms are an issue "in action", but unless I'm mentally dreading them, they shouldn't affect preparing for action. 

And thanks for the kind words regarding it not being the be all, end all... I believe my partner feels the same. She's definitely not complaining to me at least, and seems to look forward to our next date (which I'm taking as a good thing). It was her idea to keep our visits back to once a week, trying to keep things on an "NSA" level... This week, she'll have been over 4 times (I work from home, and I live close to her office).  So I must be doing SOMETHING right! 

The doctor... He was willing to either let me try to wait it out (get things settled with regards to the separation/work stress) or to write me a prescription. I chose the prescription, so I could see how it works for me. At least once, out of curiousity.  He didn't suggest any tests to rule anything else out yet, which I thought was a bit surprising. But I've read over the posts in the Men's Forum about low test, and I don't have any of the other symptoms besides what's been mentioned here. My desire is as high as it's ever been, not suffering from depression, insomnia, or fatigue. But if issues continue, I'll push for some tests.

Thanks again for the input!

C


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

All I'm going to say...

Buy stock in Lilly!

I need a nap...

C


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

PBear : 

Never too much information, this is all good -unless the Mods feel it is too much. 

Doesn't sound like you have lower test or any health issues. :smthumbup: I really think it is a combination of 1) the Condoms 2) you are "thinking" about this -causing a degree of psychological worry and 3) of coarse as you age, your test is slowly declining bit by bit, you just aren't that young man anymore & men need a little more attention down there. 

Speaking from a woman who has went out of her way to influence & squeeze as much sex out of my husband as I possibly can (Mrs Robinson here), let me speak about what I feel has helped him. 

1. Get enough sleep. Eat healthy but know that MEAT & FAT make Testosterone. Stay away from Soy, it lowers test. 

2. Think of adding these vitamins : DHES 25mg, Vitamin B-12 100mcg (for energy), Zinc 25mg, some Ginkgo 120mg -all good for aging men. Some use Horny Goat weed, we didn't notice an effect. 

3. Don't ease up on the releases ! This keeps the blood pumping. I wouldn't get into the habit of waiting days before a date. Use it or loose it, I feel there is truth in this. In the past 2 yrs, with all the sex, he is not declining in his abilities. 

When we went from once a week to me trying to get twice a day out of him, it was not working. This caused him some anxiety & me calling a Doc to get his Test checked & he got a complimentary perscription for Viagra. 

My husband weighs a little less than you, I can tell you cutting a 50mg in 4's even can work well on a night he is a little tired, you can get a handful of that stuff to go a year if you use it right. Doesn't sound like you probably even need it but it DOES work for "performance pressure" -use it to get over that hump if you need. Whatever pill you got, cut it in half , I bet it will still be powerful. Incase you are not aware, it is not something that becomes a crutch at all, your body will not become dependent on it. Even young guys have used it temporarily for performance anxiety. 

I doubt she wants you to perform twice a day anyhow, so no need to worry about that, she sounds happy. I did manage , only on 2 occasions to get 2 times out of my husband within a day - without any erection enhancers, I was elated about that. Probably well possible for you too -just if you are not thinking about it !


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## SaffronPower (Mar 6, 2011)

yeah in your 40's things change

condom can definitely be a challenge because most guys talk about needing more stimulation as they age

my husband seems to have and keep more erections if he/we do it daily...we're 50 and have lots of lesiure time


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

PBear said:


> All I'm going to say...
> 
> Buy stock in Lilly!
> 
> ...



I take it the prescription worked! lol :smthumbup:


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

My husband had a few issues with staying hard. The sex therapist told us that it is totally normal and happens to all men (even younger men) especially during longer sex sessions. She said that younger men don't notice cause they are quicker at the draw so don't usually have longer sessions. She also said that once a man notices this issue, it can make him worry about it which makes it worse and more likely to keep happening. 

After my husband heard it was normal even in younger men, he started relaxing and it did not happen near as often. We also tried a prescription which he only uses if we plan on an extended  session. 

Relax - it's normal!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I even bought these 2 books...ha ha anything to keep him hard!

Amazon.com: The Hardness Factor: How to Achieve Your Best Health and Sexual Fitness at Any Age (9780060755515): Steven Lamm, Gerald Secor Couzens: Books

Amazon.com: Built for Sex: The Complete Fitness and Nutrition Program for Maximum Performance (9781579549787): Scott Hays: Books


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I even bought these 2 books...ha ha anything to keep him hard!
> 
> Amazon.com: The Hardness Factor: How to Achieve Your Best Health and Sexual Fitness at Any Age (9780060755515): Steven Lamm, Gerald Secor Couzens: Books
> 
> Amazon.com: Built for Sex: The Complete Fitness and Nutrition Program for Maximum Performance (9781579549787): Scott Hays: Books


SA,

Your are a tigress! 

We say that women in their 30's are like wolves, women in their 40's are like tigresses. Here is talking about their sexual fierce. I don't know how old Chinese found out about this. According to what I read from here and my own experience, this is true. Ha ha ha.......................................... 

I am just wondering how long our peak lasts! I sure want this peak to last as long as we can. Because I feel the orgasms are so strong and different. No wonder we keep on wanting, and can never get enough.............................., I told my husband, I want morning breakfast and evening meal, he said go ahead. , Doesn't happen like this often, but I sure want to enjoy sex as much as we can. I tell my husband, sex is free entertainment, we should get as much as we can, don't waste it!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Wow, thanks for all that, ladies!  I'll look into those books, SA.

This weekend went well... I didn't tell her that I was trying some "enhancements", and it kind of feels like I should have. But I know she noticed the difference. It was also a confidence improvement for me, big time. She commented on the attitude/mental change (more assertive etc), and expressed her appreciation for it. I'm blaming that not on the pills, but on the "Manning Up" threads in the Men's Forum. 

I think I'll keep the Cialis for special dates, or extended sessions (as Mary put it). One of the key differences between Cialis and Viagra is that the Cialis is supposed to keep you going for 36 hours, and you're only supposed to take one per day. I did have a headache by the end of tonight (2 doses in 2 days), not sure if that's related or what. No other side effects I can think of, and it worked exactly as advertised.

We also discussed the condom thing, and are going to take steps to get those out of the way. So it was a good weekend all around! 

C


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So do I tell her or not? She's definitely noticed a difference in the way my body has responded the last week (commented in a positive manner). Well, the last 5 days, I guess. So could she be hurt/insulted if she found out that some of this is chemically assisted? It's not like I desire/want her any more or less than before.

C


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