# Ever Present Thoughts



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

So I'm at work, and I wouldnt' be able to see my stbxw anyway right now, but that is what my present thoughts have been about anyway. Trying to make sense of everything (trying to understand the irrational is hard to do). I have my son this weekend (while the daughther is having a girls weekend). It's just the thought of normally going home and seeing that person I've been used to for 11 years. 

Man when does this get better? When do the slip ups, backslides, and rollercoaster dips stop?


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Same way. She finished moving her stuff today. On Fridays we usually had supper together and watched TV or a movie. I really miss that. I just got home from work and unpacked a microwave I bought, started a load of laundry and am wondering what I'll be to pass the time tonight. 

A friend who started this journey a year ago warned me... just when you think you're strong - wham. Another ride on the roller coaster. No kidding. I feel what you're going through proudwidaddy.

My take on it... not sure if they will stop anytime soon, but the rides should be less jolting and frequent, at the very least. That's the hope, anyway.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Yeah I work retail so I would always work until 7pm on Friday, then on the way home I would stop and pick up fish for us for dinner. Just those normal routines. I think that has been the toughest, getting used to all the free time. I was so used to the routine, now when I don't have the kids it's all I can do to keep from jumping off a ledge. Agh....the rollercoaster rides. I often wonder what the other person feels, do they grieve as hardcore, do they have regrets and they are just afraid to say something. My stbxw hugged me and kissed me yesterday (passionate kiss). She texts me all the time, trying to tell me she will be there for me to lean on (really?). Agh...just wish she would leave me alone unless it's about the kids or divorce. Why doesn't she understand we can't be friends like we used to?


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## Ms_Limbo (Feb 2, 2012)

My Friday ritual with my husband was ordering pizza and watching a movie till we both fell asleep on the couch together. Boring I know but what I always looked forward to. I have started just putting all my thoughts and time in with my 2 year old. It's been 2 and a half weeks since he left the house and it's still a work in progress. It's getting a little easier... just in the sense that I'm not expecting him to be there anymore. I'm more or less expecting my time alone with my daughter and it's sad but easier to deal with than false hope.


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

I know. Weekends are hard. My husband has my 1 year old son this weekend ...so, that makes the house seem really lonely. One thing ...I am so grateful for my dog. I don't know what I would do without my Domino dog. He is a great and faithful companion. ....and he helps me through the sad times.


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## CSeryllum (Jan 23, 2012)

Ms_Limbo said:


> My Friday ritual with my husband was ordering pizza and watching a movie till we both fell asleep on the couch together. Boring I know but what I always looked forward to. I have started just putting all my thoughts and time in with my 2 year old. It's been 2 and a half weeks since he left the house and it's still a work in progress. It's getting a little easier... just in the sense that I'm not expecting him to be there anymore. I'm more or less expecting my time alone with my daughter and it's sad but easier to deal with than false hope.


We did something similar...and every day after work, i always got home before her...I would wait till she got home, do my work while she worked out for like a quick run on the treadmill...then we'd make or order some food...and watch some fun TV shows together on the couch...almost every day...weekends we spent our time together.

Now, my weekends consist of getting out of my apartment, because it's literally empty with exception to my bed...it's a prison cell...but at least the door is open...so I try to escape it EVERY chance I get....problem is...no matter how far I get...I always have to return at the end of the night.

It's hard, but we'll make it


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

CSeryllum said:


> It's hard, but we'll make it


Exactly.


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## Lone Star (Feb 2, 2012)

It has been 6 months since my H pulled his stunt. There are good days and bad days. For the most part I am ok but then there are some days I am so nervous and uneasy. I can't explain why because nothing new has happened. I'm learning that there is no set in stone plan to deal with all this, I'm just trying to take advantage of the better days and deal with the bad days. It is a pain that I can't describe, I'm sure all of you understand what I'm talking about.


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