# How do I file papers without letting my husband know my address?



## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

Hi, everyone.

I left my husband 3 months ago, as some of you may remember. I found my own place and moved there. It's not that far from where my husband lives, but as long as he doesn't know where I am, I'm safe. 

After about a month and a half of negotiation by email and phone, we hammered out an agreement on how we're going to divide up our money and stuff. We don't have any kids, so there's no problem with custody.

I found a pretty cheap, no-frills, uncontested divorce paralegal who's willing to draw up our papers, have us sign, and file them for us. So far, so good.

Here's the problem--the paralegal is insisting that I put my home address on the paperwork that my husband reads and signs. I really, really, really don't want my husband to know where I live. He may not be dangerous, but he did stalk me at work twice. The sick, sinking feeling I get when I think of him tells me to keep my address from him.

I asked the paralegal if I could use a P.O. box for my address, but he says that I have to put a real residential address on the forms. 

Anyone have any ideas how I could get around this? I don't want to ask friends or family to let me use their address, because I don't want anyone to risk having my husband come around. I suppose I could find a cheap roommate situation somewhere, but I don't want my husband harassing the roommate, either. Besides--it would be expensive, even for a cheap room. I'd be paying rent on the room, plus the place I actually live in.

I'd be very grateful for anything you could think of. Thanks for your help!


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

> I asked the lawyer if I could use a P.O. box for my address, but he says that I have to put a real residential address on the forms


.

I would like to know this too.


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## Tiredspouse0297 (Dec 9, 2010)

Yeah my stbx kept bugging me for my new address today. Good thing my roommates are three large men.


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## HM3 (Aug 18, 2010)

Hey,

It might be worth asking your lawyer if you could put your work address? 

Alternatively use your family's address (I know you don't want to), but do you honestly think he will go there? Most abusive men are abusive to their partners but won't do anything wrong outside - they're scared. Also if he turns up, your family could call the police on him. 

Take care x


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## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

So, I think I've found a solution to this problem, at least one that might work for those of us in the USA:

1) I put an ad on Craigslist offering to pay people to let me use their address. Much to my surprise, I've gotten several responses that look pretty promising, and no-one's flagged my post for removal. 

2) I'll talk to the people who responded to my ad on Craigslist and pick someone whose address I'd like to use.

3) I'll go to the post office (or use the USPS website) and make that address my official mailing address.

4) Once that's completed, and I'm getting mail at that new address, I'll use premium mail forwarding to have the mail delivered where I actually live. (See the USPS website for details--you can have your mail forwarded for up to a year.)

So far, step 1 has gone really well, and step 2 seems to be going OK, too. I'll let you all know how the whole thing works out. 

Something to point out--in my original post, I said that the lawyer required us to give our home addresses. I should point out that I'm not really using a lawyer; instead, I have a paralegal who's writing up the forms, getting us to sign, and filing for us. So, technically, we're doing it on our own, with a little help, rather than having lawyers to represent us.

If we each had lawyers, the addresses on our forms would be the lawyers' addresses. But, of course, that would be expensive. Since my stbxh and I don't have kids or any major property to divide, we hammered out our own settlement and just want the paralegal to help us make sure the forms are OK.

Best of luck to all of you!


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## RunningOnEmpty (Aug 29, 2010)

Try this: Online mail management including online postal mail, po boxes, mail forwarding and more | Earth Class Mail

They have 'residential' addresses for virtual PO Boxes.

Basically they hold your mail, and you can tell them to open and scan the mail, or to forward it to any address you want, etc, etc.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Most states have something like a Nondisclosure of Personal Identifying Information packet. That way you file the divorce forms with no address on them (or a contact adddress) and at the same time you file that non-disclosure form to motion that you don't have to file your address for your own safety. 

Here is a link to FindLaw's Divorce Forms by State. You might be able to click on your state's link and then look for your state's non-disclosure form.


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## melchi656 (Jan 18, 2011)

sbbs said:


> Hi, everyone.
> 
> I left my husband 3 months ago, as some of you may remember. I found my own place and moved there. It's not that far from where my husband lives, but as long as he doesn't know where I am, I'm safe.
> 
> ...


There are quite a lot of things to take into consideration when it comes to divorce laws. You can check out this link to get some divorce advices.


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