# Dealing with depression due to low self-esteem



## Inthedepths (Jan 6, 2014)

I've been struggling with depression for two years now. It was triggered by a traumatic event I'd rather not discuss here, though I've talked about it elsewhere. I'm trying to be proactive about improving my self-esteem. When I began to sink down I stopped taking care of myself.

So, does anyone have any advice for proactive ways to deal with depression? I'm not interested in antidepressants. I did that as a teenager and I will never take them again. I have nothing against people who do, but I know that personally they are only an option if absolutely nothing else helps.

Some things I'm doing already:

-Taking a SAM-e supplement, but carefully. In the past I've experienced mania while taking it.
-Improving my diet. I gained 20 pounds over the past two years and I was already heavier than I needed to be.
-Going back to my old personal hygiene routine. Makeup most days, doing my hair, taking pride in caring for my nails, shaving my legs every time I shower.
-Looking into assertiveness training.
-Having candid conversations about how I'm feeling with my fiancee, particularly when he does things that make me upset. I used to just stuff everything down.


Some things I'm still struggling with:

-Getting enough sleep. I don't fall asleep easily. I take melatonin when I know I can get a full 8 hours, but that isn't always possible. I would like to ensure a minimum of 7 hours a night.
-Getting enough exercise. I have a bad knee that makes cardio difficult, but in the summer I was walking 2 miles a day and doing yoga.

Does anyone have any other suggestions? I'm willing to try pretty much anything that doesn't require health insurance, as I am still temporarily uninsured.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

So you're not in therapy?

Without the help of a good therapist you should at least take antidepressants. Wellbutrin is very mild so there would no side effects, though it may not work for you.

Have you had your thyroid checked?

SLEEP!!! This is number 1,2,3,4,5,6 in importance. Melatonin does nothing for me so I sometimes take an OTC sleep aid cut in half. You must sleep.

Your depression, though classified as a mental illness is a medical issue involving brain chemicals. You should be under a doctors care and not ***** footing around playing at getting healthy.

I went through a major depression in my 30 and I will NEVER ever allow myself to go through that again! Stop playing around and get some real help!


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## Inthedepths (Jan 6, 2014)

Thanks for the reply. No, I'm not in therapy. I'm still uninsured and I expect that to continue until I work out a kink involving proving my income (darn you financial aid!). The resources for people in my situation in this area aren't great. I had no choice but to go as a teen but, given the choice between toughing it out until I'm insured or wading into that cess pit, I'll take the wait. Should only be another month or so. Then it's therapy, thyroid testing, and getting help with my knee so I can exercise more.

The reason behind the SAM-e supplement actually has to do with the brain chemical side of things. I'd post a link but I think I still need mod approval to do that. Just google "SAM-e and depression." There is some interesting information. I do feel better when I'm taking it, but I have to be careful because if I take too much I suffer from a touch of mania and the insomnia gets awful. I'm still adjusting to find my tolerance.

I guess, in the end, I'm looking for ways to improve my self esteem. I recognize the brain chemicals end, but I also see that this depression has a cause vs what I went through as a teen. That was just sadness for no reason whatsoever.

I agree that major depression, which I suffered through from 12 to 20, is nothing to mess with. But I also feel this time is different as I can identify what is wrong and I'm trying to figure out how to fix it.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I don't think the depression was brought about by low self-esteem, I think you have that backwards. You low self-esteem was brought about by the depression, since it impacts the chemical balances of your brain and how you process all information. Its also not unusual for folks with depression to have trouble sleeping-again for the same reason.
But I guess that's besides the point.
Is there a free-clinic or church based program that could help with therapy?


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

SOMETIMES, people who are depressed that experience mania while taking either a anti-depressant or even something such as SAM-e usually can mean something else is going on other than depression. Might be a good idea to get checked out and tell the doc what you have told us here. I would recommend either a Psychologist or Psychiatrist, someone who knows more about depression and different types of meds and their effects.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

The first thing you need to do is choose a volunteer opportunity, sign up, and start DOING IT. Regularly.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Keep up those candid conversations. Transparency is the way to go to beat depression.

Even if it is hard to be transparent with him, at least be honest with yourself. That is the first step.


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## learning to love myself (Apr 18, 2013)

I was put on my medication through planned parenthood and I paid on a sliding scale. I was young at the time and a lot of the time your GENO is the one that discovers your chemical imbalance. 

just my 2 cents.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

You are not depressed because you have low self esteem. 

You have low self esteem because you are depressed. 

Fis the depression and all the other issues will magically disappear right along with it.


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## Akinaura (Dec 6, 2011)

Something else you might want to check out whether or not you might have low Vitamin D3 levels.

I was diagnosed several years back with major depressive disorder. Like you, I swore off anti-depressants because they either made me paranoid as heck, or manic as heck. My husband took it upon himself to do a bit of research to see if there might be a herbal route that I would be more open about trying than having a doctor tell me that he/she wants me on another type of anti-depressant.

What he found was Vitamin D3. I can't remember the exact number, but the CDC has found that many of the adults in the US have a reduced amount of D3 levels in the blood than what is recommended. So I started taking 10,000 IU of D3 a day. Omgoodness....what a difference!

Am I saying this will work for you? No, but it's worth a shot, and a bottle of 5,000 IU D3 pills isn't all that expensive. I personally use Nature's Made variety.

Hope this helps!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay off medication when dealing with health issues, including depression. There are a number of factors that go into depression. Depression is often caused by circumstances. Wellbutrin has a lot of side effects, as do anti-depressants in general. One of the side effects of anti-depressants (including Wellbutrin) is suicide. Here’s what Webmd has to say: Common and Rare Side Effects for Wellbutrin XL oral
You are already making positive changes to help you overcome the depression. Keep at it. You will come through this.
Some other ideas are:
Get rid of all refined foods, refined sugar and artificial sweeteners from your diet.
Eat as many vegetables as you can per day. The recommendation from some doctors these days is nine cups of vegetable and fruit (mostly vegetables) per day. I drink a green smoothie every morning to help get in enough vegetables. Eat healthy fats and be sure to include wild fish at least once per week. This will help get your body chemistry back on track.
Learn to view yourself as a person of value and to treat yourself how you know a person of value should be treated – with love. Loving yourself doesn’t have to be complicated and it is not about emotion or about thinking more highly of yourself than you should. It is about looking at yourself realistically and thinking of yourself as a person of value and purpose.
When you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself and/or your future, rephrase those thoughts are change them into something true and positive. Do not let the negative thoughts drag you down, because your emotions will generally follow your thoughts and it can become a vicious cycle of negative thinking causing depression and depression causing negative thinking.


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