# Post is long but I need advice...HELP!



## mwilliams (Dec 9, 2015)

My husband and I have only been married 15months. We have been dating 9 years and living together for 5. We have two small kids together. We have always had a rocky relationship. Weve been dating since we were 16 years old. Throughout our entire relationship I have had to motivate and inspire my husband to do everything. We are currently renting a home that I paid for us(so that we could move out of my uncles house). We have one vehicle which I brought and he just recently found a job after being out of work for 8 months. Out of the 9 years we have been together we have went on 3 dates(didn't even do anything for our 1st anniversary). He is unappreciative of me. I cook clean take care of the kids work a full time job and go to school. He works plays his game and sleep ALL of the time. He has to hold all the money(Including the money I bring in) hates when I go anywhere without him or the kids. The final straw came when I got suspended from my job for a week in a half. As a person who has worked my whole life this crushed me and he made it no better. He continuously belittled me and blamed me for everything. We were a $100 short on our rent because of this and he told me that I need to figure out what the f*** to do because its your fault we are in this f*** mess. This is just an example of what I go through. I asked for a separation today and he agreed(however he is thinking I am bluffing and is very stubborn) but I feel so horrible. I do not want to be unhappy anymore and I want to be stronger for my kids but I literally fight to get out of bed in the morning. Am I making the right decision?


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

Probably. He sounds lazy and mean. He either is, and you should leave him. Or you just think he is, and you should leave him.


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## mwilliams (Dec 9, 2015)

what do you mean by I think he is mean. is it all in my head?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Move on he's a lazy, worthless person who will always drag you down.

Get out now


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## mwilliams (Dec 9, 2015)

Thanks Marc. I know what I have to do, but my heart is breaking. He is a good father and his kids love him. My kids are to young to understand what is going on. All they will know if their daddy wont be there.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

mwilliams said:


> what do you mean by I think he is mean. is it all in my head?


I am assuming he actually is mean and lazy. But I don't know him or you, so it's just an assumption based on what you have said. 

So even if it were in your head (which I don't really think, but can't rule out either) it doesn't matter. 

You don't like him or respect him. Based on everything you said, I wouldn't like him or respect him either. But that alone is enough. 

If you don't like or respect your husband you shouldn't be married to him. And honestly, based on your story, I don't think you should have married him in the first place.


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## mwilliams (Dec 9, 2015)

BlueWoman said:


> I am assuming he actually is mean and lazy. But I don't know him or you, so it's just an assumption based on what you have said.
> 
> So even if it were in your head (which I don't really think, but can't rule out either) it doesn't matter.
> 
> ...


I agree that we should not have married. Thanks for the advice.


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