# fed up



## jaydee (Jan 21, 2013)

im 59 and married for a year. two weeks into my marriage found out my guy.. who by the way is 62..is signed up on single sights looking for women in their forties. ive known him five yrs so havent gone into this with my eyes closedor maybe i did. i knew before i married him he was looking at porn...i accepted that, although not too happily. i think what upsets me most is that he sits downstairs when ive gone to bed and i know what hes doing. he seldom touches me, cant remember my last orgasm..four months maybe. he calls me babe and says im sexy? but doesnt touch me unless he needs an orgasm! i feel angry& frustrated.:scratchhead:


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

what does he say when you voice your concerns about these things to him?


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## jaydee (Jan 21, 2013)

he says its just a bit of fun and he loves me. we never seem to get very far when i try and talk to him about not touching me, its become too uncomfortable for me to approach him, i feel really awkward, sounds silly at my age


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Signing up on singles sites is not 'just for fun'. Are you OK with him sleeping with other women 'just for fun'??? Age has nothing to do with it.

My guess is he's up to a lot more than you know on the computer. You can either pretend he isn't doing any of it and just continue feeling neglected, or catch him and confront him and throw him out. Or just throw him out. You don't have a lot invested in him. He's already admitted to being on sex sites looking for some action. He's told you to your face he's planning on cheating on you, if he hasn't already.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Signing up on singles sites is not 'just for fun'. Are you OK with him sleeping with other women 'just for fun'??? Age has nothing to do with it.
> 
> My guess is he's up to a lot more than you know on the computer. You can either pretend he isn't doing any of it and just continue feeling neglected, or catch him and confront him and throw him out. Or just throw him out. You don't have a lot invested in him. He's already admitted to being on sex sites looking for some action. He's told you to your face he's planning on cheating on you, if he hasn't already.


sorry hon but I have to agree with Hope on this one.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Please excuse me, but let me give you a male perspective.

First, if this is entirely unacceptable behavior, it's unacceptable no matter how...'innocent' it is (Yes, I put quotes around it. Bear with me) It is a credo of men that they are allowed to 'look at the menu all they want, but they aren't allowed to order.' This might be him browsing a menu.

Porn is overrated. It's pneumatic female looking figures with bad acting talents doing things that may or may not appeal to your husband. So...instead he might look at 'real women'.

This _could be_ all about fantasy. See...there is this girl who appeals to him...and he _could_ reach out and call her and have mind blowing sex. Because she's available...but for whatever reason, he is either too ethical, too cowardly, or just not driven enough to actually DO it!

In the past, I've taken a look at escort sites to see what 'talent' is available...and I've never made a call. Call it curiosity mingled with lust.

BUT...the simpler answer is that he _might_ be indulging. Have you considered he might have some erectile problems which he is ashamed of addressing?

I think you need some more information unless this is already a bridge too far.

You are correct to be suspicous. You are NOT correct to assume he's been bouncing all over the bed with these women...yet.


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## jaydee (Jan 21, 2013)

thanku JCD for giving me some hope! yes he does have some erectile problems, so wen we do have sex...well its not too good...although i wouldnt tell him that. he has tried Viagra but doesnt help. i guess me telling him im frustrated hasnt helped!


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## elizabethdennis (Jan 16, 2013)

Very well said JCD. Sometimes we, women tend to presume a lot. We conclude right away without even asking our guy first. Sometimes, communication is all that is needed to address an issue.


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