# Karma Bus Strikes again.



## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

My xW and I divorce on January 21 2007. I had spend ten years with her cheating on me and the last time I caught her was 8 days before Christmas. Once it was clear to me she was cheating I threw her out. She immediately moved in with her friend "OM". 

Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time and I am not sure what happened but I can only imagine he caught her. 

This of course is breaking my daughters heart but all I can do is be there for her. I have not called her mom up to try to nail things down for sure. I am not sure I will do anything at this point as far as her mother is concerned. 

This brings me to my next thought. I know this sounds mean but a part of me wants to go to the OM's work and laugh at him. I know that sounds horrible but he had no problem sticking his nose in my marriage and helping to destroy my family. Why should I not get a little joy in seeing him suffer. 

I mean honestly I just cant stop laughing about it. Its like the best gift all year but I still have to be there for my kids. 

Clay


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

I think a simple stare and smirk will do. This with silence will have a much more deeper impact.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Clay2013 said:


> My xW and I divorce on January 21 2007. I had spend ten years with her cheating on me and the last time I caught her was 8 days before Christmas. Once it was clear to me she was cheating I threw her out. She immediately moved in with her friend "OM".
> 
> Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time and I am not sure what happened but I can only imagine he caught her.
> 
> ...


:rofl: tell him he doesn't know how much better this makes the holidays.


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## tryingpatience (May 7, 2014)

Thanks for sharing. Just thinking about all the time the OM invested in your ex only to have it blow up is enough of a laugh.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Clay2013 said:


> My xW and I divorce on January 21 2007. I had spend ten years with her cheating on me and the last time I caught her was 8 days before Christmas. Once it was clear to me she was cheating I threw her out. She immediately moved in with her friend "OM".
> 
> Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time and I am not sure what happened but I can only imagine he caught her.
> 
> ...


wow, she has a thing with getting caught right before the christmas holidays.

That other OM she is moving to, does not know what he is getting into


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Its literately one day away from the day I caught her. I think she has a timer built in. lol 

I feel really bad for my kids but if she moves I think its the best for them to be away from her. There mother is really reinforced in my mind cheaters should never raise children. I am thankful I have my kids but I do feel sorry for the other children. Its going to be horrible on them being ripped away from there dad. What a sad day for them.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I would send the OM flowers or a house plant... at his work. The card would read..

"What goes around, comes around. 
Karma is a b!tch. 
(smiley face)
Signed by you."


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Clay2013 said:


> Its literately one day away from the day I caught her. I think she has a timer built in. lol
> 
> I feel really bad for my kids but if she moves I think its the best for them to be away from her. There *mother is really reinforced in my mind cheaters should never raise children.*


Keep in mind that most people who have cheated are not serial cheaters. They do it once in a lifetime.



Clay2013 said:


> I am thankful I have my kids but I do feel sorry for the other children. Its going to be horrible on them being ripped away from there dad. What a sad day for them.


What other children? The OM's? Your wife's with the OM?


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> I would send the OM flowers or a house plant... at his work. The card would read..
> 
> "What goes around, comes around.
> Karma is a b!tch.
> ...


I like that idea but i would not spend the money on flowers; He could stop by a local cemetery and get some fresh flowers there for free


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## tryingpatience (May 7, 2014)

convert said:


> I like that idea but i would not spend the money on flowers; He could stop a local cemetery and get some fresh flowers there for free


:lol::lol::lol:


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Ele,
I am sure in some cases you are right but they are incredibly rare. I mean at least in my life I have not seen many that it was a one time deal. Now maybe I have a magical way of finding the worst of them but it is what it is and all I can do now is protect my kids. 

After I divorced with the xW she had three more kids with him. We had two together when we were married. I kept custody of them. 

Clay


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Clay2013 said:


> Ele,
> I am sure in some cases you are right but they are incredibly rare. I mean at least in my life I have not seen many that it was a one time deal. Now maybe I have a magical way of finding the worst of them but it is what it is and all I can do now is protect my kids.
> 
> After I divorced with the xW she had three more kids with him. We had two together when we were married. I kept custody of them.
> ...


Holy cow, she had three more kids with OM

is she going to take them with her?


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Keep in mind that most people who have cheated are not serial cheaters. They do it once in a lifetime.


And we know this how?? The statistics are so slanted when it comes to As and cheaters generally only admit to that which is known and provable, so how do we know this (also they seem to have a different ideal of what cheating is, such as kissing and being in an EA is not cheating as no PIV was involved)? 

If I hadn't kept digging, that is what my STBXW would have everyone believe that it was just the "one time slip up" when in reality she had been cheating the entire 16 years of our marriage (and when I discovered the others and provided the proof, she said she was not going to admit to it and take it to her grave, and even when presented with the proof he still lied about the entire string of As she had.


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## Abovetheline (Aug 19, 2014)

Forget about all of it and don't bother rubbing it in this guys face, he got what he deserved and your X will one day wake up and realize what a worthless pile she is.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

I think you should invite him out for a consolation beer or two. Seeing as you have both been taken by the same BS, you two actually have something in common.
THAT would truly screw with your Ex's head and maybe heal a little for you.

I'm kidding of course.

Send him a "Sorry you got your heart pureed by my cheating ***** ex-wife. But...really...did you expect anything different from her?"

or..."Sorry your magic penis didnt instantly cure her of her wandering ways. Better luck next time."


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I would send a email telling the OM to fight for his kids.....making a statement that this is not the kind of women you would want around your kids. Then finish off with next time around stick with finding a women that isn't already married.

You might want to attach your old divorce lawyers info.


Now wouldn't that be interesting if you got a reply asking you what you were talking about?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

convert said:


> Holy cow, she had three more kids with OM
> 
> is she going to take them with her?


That is what she told me daughter last night. 

I can't imagine the new guy realizes what he is getting into.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

I probably won't go up and do anything. Currently she is still living with the OM. I am not sure how long before she moves out. My daughter and the OM talked last night about the other kids. He does not want to keep them. He explained to my daughter he felt he would get to violent with them. 

That part kind of freaks me out but what can I say now. As of this point in time I will probably just keep the kids away from them unless its to say good bye. 

Clay


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

So what can we learn from this?

It wasn't anything you did. She just cannot stop being unfaithful.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

So the OM doesn't want his three girls and your ex is going to take them out of state to a new OM....sad real sad!

Looks like enough generation of strippers is just around the corner.

I guess if it weren't for phucked up parents like your ex and current OM....stripping would be a dead profession.


You gotta be dam glad you got your two kids with you....couldn't imagine the life all these kids will have with a mother that runs around from guy to guy!


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

I heard a rumor somewhere that "If they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you". 

I have no idea where I heard that one. Possible it applies here?

Kind of makes me think my post is all "tongue in cheek". Which cheek is the question.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Clay2013 said:


> Ele,
> *I am sure in some cases you are right but they are incredibly rare. *I mean at least in my life I have not seen many that it was a one time deal.


While in your experience you might see more serial cheaters, they are much less common than the one time cheater.

We probably see more serial cheaters because they do it so much they are very visible.




Clay2013 said:


> Now maybe I have a magical way of finding the worst of them but it is what it is and all I can do now is protect my kids.


Some of us are very "gifted" in that way.. 





Clay2013 said:


> After I divorced with the xW she had three more kids with him. We had two together when we were married. I kept custody of them.


Good grief, some people who should not have children just pop them out like it's nothing. :scratchhead:


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Good grief, some people who should not have children just pop them out like it's nothing. :scratchhead:


Yep. Sad, isn't it?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

There is no way I was ever going to let her keep the kids. She knew this. I kept my other two girls from a previous relationship I was in before here. She knew I would have sold everything to fight for my kids. 

They never even questioned it when we went to court. The only thing she cared about was the money and if I would pay trip expenses if either of us moved out of town. In the end she got nothing. The money was already gone. I had to pay all the bills she did not and I was able to show to the court the bills and the bank statements. The cost of the trips is split 50/50. 

She walked away with nothing. On top of that I threw most of her stuff in the trash. I gave her and her family a certian amount of time to come get it and they failed. I put what I quickly could find in a storage facility and rented it for two months. I send her the key to the lock along with the location information about the stuff. She was told if she did not pick it up before two months it would be gone. Well guess what. Its gone.

My life has been so much better and Christmas for me is turning out to be great. 

Clay


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

SamuraiJack said:


> I think you should invite him out for a consolation beer or two. Seeing as you have both been taken by the same BS, you two actually have something in common.
> THAT would truly screw with your Ex's head and maybe heal a little for you.
> 
> I'm kidding of course.
> ...


:lol: :rofl:


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

See a pattern? OM1.0, reproduce, dump and start again with OM2.0. She'll have 20 kids before she retires alone and friendless.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Clay how old is your Ex?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

convert said:


> Clay how old is your Ex?


36


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

She'll stop cheating.... When she is in the grave. All she brings is misery.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Squeakr said:


> *And we know this how??* The statistics are so slanted when it comes to As and cheaters generally only admit to that which is known and provable, so how do we know this (also they seem to have a different ideal of what cheating is, such as kissing and being in an EA is not cheating as no PIV was involved)?


There are studies that have been done on the topic of one time cheating vs serial cheating. The results were that most cheaters are one time cheaters.


Sure we can never know that every person who was in the studies told the truth. And those that did not, could be lied that they were one-timers or that they were serial. 

It's the best info we have at this time.

You certainly cannot disprove it.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

convert said:


> wow, she has a thing with getting caught right before the christmas holidays.


Legs like a nativity calendar,, start opening on the first Sunday of Advent.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HobbesTheTiger (Apr 7, 2014)

Get your daughters (from you and xww) into counselling as soon as possible! I imagine they're feeling abandoned and can't help but think that they weren't good enough for her (to stay). They MUST get professional help or otherwise this will scar them for life. Please, please, get them to a family therapist.

Best wishes


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

convert said:


> wow, she has a thing with getting caught right before the christmas holidays.
> 
> That other OM she is moving to, does not know what he is getting into


Probably he's already gotten into it.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> While in your experience you might see more serial cheaters, they are much less common than the one time cheater.


Many cheaters are never caught. But it is like gambling, the more you do it the more likely it is that you will be caught.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

When my divorce was final I already had my kids into counceling. My daughter is back in counceling now and I have already contacted her counceler this morning to have her talk to my daughter about the recent events. 

Clay


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

sidney2718 said:


> Probably he's already gotten into it.


:lol: :rofl:


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> Keep in mind that most people who have cheated *are not serial cheaters*. They do it once in a lifetime.


Better check your facts on this one. The affair that is caught is rarely the first. Cheating is an addictive behavior. Serial cheating is the dirtiest of the "little secrets".


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## allwillbewell (Dec 13, 2012)

I would suggest that if the cheater is never caught and the affair is more of a cake eating affair than an exit affair, they will continue to cheat until caught, either a long term affair or with multiple APs... once caught, its really a crap shoot whether they will continue to cheat or go straight...assuming that the marriage is not ended by the BS.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Keep in mind that most people who have cheated are not serial cheaters. They do it once in a lifetime.




The latest research studies would suggest otherwise



Once A Cheater Always A Cheater: Science Says Cheating Is Repetitive


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

Within a month she'll be doing the driver of the Karma bus.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I would send the OM flowers or a house plant... at his work. The card would read..
> 
> "What goes around, comes around.
> Karma is a b!tch.
> ...


I agree with this !!!!! He needs to know that he got screwed just like you but also needs to know that he did the screwing as well.

Just at whatever cost, keep your kids away from your ex. She's a piece of work (and work is not the term I was thinking of when I typed this)


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Clay2013 said:


> I probably won't go up and do anything. Currently she is still living with the OM. I am not sure how long before she moves out. My daughter and the OM talked last night about the other kids. He does not want to keep them. He explained to my daughter he felt he would get to violent with them.
> 
> That part kind of freaks me out but what can I say now. As of this point in time I will probably just keep the kids away from them unless its to say good bye.
> 
> Clay


great guy she left you for. Sorry, your ex is a POS


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

xakulax said:


> The latest research studies would suggest otherwise
> 
> 
> 
> Once A Cheater Always A Cheater: Science Says Cheating Is Repetitive


I agree Xak


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

xakulax said:


> The latest research studies would suggest otherwise
> 
> 
> 
> Once A Cheater Always A Cheater: Science Says Cheating Is Repetitive


This study is focusing on those that didn't recover their marriages and went on their not so happy ways, not the ones who chose to stay, own their sh!t and repair the damage they have caused. It's a different dynamic.

My last EX would be a perfect example of that 'study' though.


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

The sad thing in this new [email protected] sandwich of your ex's making, are the innocent children that are involved.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

3putt said:


> This study is focusing on those that didn't recover their marriages and went on their not so happy ways, not the ones who chose to stay, own their sh!t and repair the damage they have caused. It's a different dynamic.
> 
> My last EX would be a perfect example of that 'study' though.



You have a good point there I guess it really comes down to a person's willingness to own their s*** and put in the work to improve themselves I will say one thing though for the study I do find it quite interesting how introverts are more likely to cheat than extroverts common perception would tell us it would be the opposite I guess because introverts may not get as many advances they're more likely to fall victim to it it really is quite interesting.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

xakulax said:


> You have a good point there I guess it really comes down to a person's willingness to own their s*** and put in the work to improve themselves I will say one thing though for the study I do find it quite interesting how introverts are more likely to cheat than extroverts common perception would tell us it would be the opposite I guess because introverts may not get as many advances they're more likely to fall victim to it it really is quite interesting.


I can see the position with the introverts getting sucked into it easier, as it's more difficult to resist when that hasn't been part of their lifestyle. But I can also see how introverts would be even more reluctant to stray to maintain what they have always found to be so elusive in the first place. Introverts that I know have always erred on the side of extreme caution as to not upset the status quo. That's just personal experience though.

It would be a more interesting (and convincing) article to me if they had more than a meager 433 samplings to base their opinions on.


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## Feeling-Lonely (Nov 13, 2013)

It really is what goes around comes around unless they pay their debt to "karma buss" in other ways.

My dad cheated and the OW is my step-mom now, together more than 20 years. My dad raised me and my biological mother the BS wasn't interested in me.

I didn't want to thread jack. Just wanted to say that some cheaters do change and try hard to be better people for the rest of their lives.

Clearly the OP ex wife isn't the case


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## Feeling-Lonely (Nov 13, 2013)

This made me think, my sister (very much introvert btw) had an affair with a married man, she said she was too shy to say "no".. A short affair bad experience overall, no love just physical.

Fast forward 7 years in the future she has 2 kids with her H and recently found messaging on his phone that suggests he had an EA or even PA with his ex co-worker.. 

I was furious with her Husband because this hurt my sister very much but never thought of this as the karma buss till now. She cheated with a married man in the past.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

3putt said:


> I can see the position with the introverts getting sucked into it easier, as it's more difficult to resist when that hasn't been part of their lifestyle. But I can also see how introverts would be even more reluctant to stray to maintain what they have always found to be so elusive in the first place. *Introverts that I know have always erred on the side of extreme caution as to not upset the status quo. That's just personal experience though.*
> 
> It would be a more interesting (and convincing) article to me if they had more than a meager 433 samplings to base their opinions on.





And you'd be correct I my myself am a fairly introverted person and prefer to work under the radar in most social functions if I can help it trying not to upset the status quo to sort of speak so I totally get what you're saying and agree.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

xakulax said:


> You have a good point there I guess it really comes down to a person's willingness to own their s*** and put in the work to improve themselves I will say one thing though for the study I do find it quite interesting how introverts are more likely to cheat than extroverts common perception would tell us it would be the opposite I guess because introverts may not get as many advances they're more likely to fall victim to it it really is quite interesting.


Are they introverts or just simply passive aggressive people? My ExH's battle cry was "I just couldn't be rude." Even though he could risk being non responsive to me.

I don't believe this BS that "only 3% of affairs progress on to long enduring marriages / partnerships." It could be an attempt to console people looking for the karma bus.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> You certainly cannot disprove it.


Yep, and you certainly can't prove it either so your claims and statements are no more correct and valid than mine are.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

thenub said:


> Within a month she'll be doing the driver of the Karma bus.




C'mon all... That's just plain funny!

Regarding the likelihood of Serial Cheating...

I asked my MC about this one session. She has been Counseling Married Couples for 30+ years and has seen infidelity in literally a 1000 of cases. #1 reason for MC in her practice. In her experience, the vast majority have children at stake. No children couples, rarely stay in MC more than a few times. No surprises here. 

In short, when undiscovered the "One and Done" is the exception. Furthermore, "Confession" even when confronted is extremely rare. Her words... the "High" of the affair is addictive just like drugs, in reality there are chemicals involved. Since no consequences for the 1st affair are dealt, the next is that much easier to justify. Her opinion, "most Serial Cheaters" eventually get caught. 

BTW, even when caught red-handed, cheaters lie and minimize to her too in Counseling, where strict rules concerning Truth are mandated.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I think you should just mail him a sympathy card....


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Well now she is super mom. She leaves her other kids at home with the xAP and goes to see our daughter sing at school with her new AP. This is that she has gone to any of our kids school functions. I am sure the new guy is just like oh shes so great. Wait until he sees her other wonderful talents. Like screwing other men while he is at work. I am sure hes going to be thrilled when he sees that side of her. 

The new guy is apparently already making threats as well so I am going to have to talk to the xW today. He asked my daughter if it was ok to walk in my house alone. (Strange question) She was like why would you think it wouldn't. He told her he had heard that I am not a safe person to be around. He said if he had to he would come into my house with her to make sure she would be ok. I just told her to be polite to him and tell him he is not welcome on my property. 

It sounds like the xW is just filling his head full of shxx. Well lets hope for his sake he does not put himself in a bad spot.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Clay2013 said:


> Well now she is super mom. She leaves her other kids at home with the xAP and goes to see our daughter sing at school with her new AP. This is that she has gone to any of our kids school functions. I am sure the new guy is just like oh shes so great. Wait until he sees her other wonderful talents. Like screwing other men while he is at work. I am sure hes going to be thrilled when he sees that side of her.
> 
> The new guy is apparently already making threats as well so I am going to have to talk to the xW today. He asked my daughter if it was ok to walk in my house alone. (Strange question) She was like why would you think it wouldn't. He told her he had heard that I am not a safe person to be around. He said if he had to he would come into my house with her to make sure she would be ok. I just told her to be polite to him and tell him he is not welcome on my property.
> 
> It sounds like the xW is just filling his head full of shxx. Well lets hope for his sake he does not put himself in a bad spot.


Given everything that you've written about your ex, I have to believe that going to the source of this new batch of bullsh*t won't do much good. It's probably a good place to start, but if this d**che is making comments about coming into YOUR HOME, you should probably be talking w/ him about it at some point.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Given everything that you've written about your ex, I have to believe that going to the source of this new batch of bullsh*t won't do much good. It's probably a good place to start, but if this d**che is making comments about coming into YOUR HOME, you should probably be talking w/ him about it at some point.


Its going to be talked about today. She wont be seeing either of the kids until I have this resolved. 

So if that means she leaves town before it is then I guess she will have to call to say good bye. 

What a looser. 

I just can't believe people do this to kids.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Clay2013 said:


> Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time


Oh gee, there's a f'in surprise 




> This brings me to my next thought. I know this sounds mean but a part of me wants to go to the OM's work and laugh at him. I know that sounds horrible but he had no problem sticking his nose in my marriage and helping to destroy my family. Why should I not get a little joy in seeing him suffer.


Because he probably doesn't care. He is probably glad they are done.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

karole said:


> I think you should just mail him a sympathy card....


I'd probably take him out for a beer and just chat, "see what kind of beyotch we have had to deal with?"


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## Rookie4 (Nov 26, 2012)

I don't usually agree with Vellocet, but this time I think we may be on a similar page. Why bother with the OM at all?
Yes, he fell for your cheating ex-wife's lies......but so did you. And news flash...you weren't married to the OM, you were married to a cheating s-bag, so if anything...he has one-upped you, because at least he didn't marry her. If I were you I'd leave it alone, because it will only make BOTH of you look foolish.


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

Meeting him may not be a bad idea. Your ex would probably would not be very happy if the two of you met considering all the BS she has probably fed him about you. Planting the seeds of doubt is a nice present from you to the new OM.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Clay2013 said:


> Well now she is super mom. She leaves her other kids at home with the xAP and goes to see our daughter sing at school with her new AP. This is that she has gone to any of our kids school functions. I am sure the new guy is just like oh shes so great. Wait until he sees her other wonderful talents. Like screwing other men while he is at work. I am sure hes going to be thrilled when he sees that side of her.
> 
> The new guy is apparently already making threats as well so I am going to have to talk to the xW today. He asked my daughter if it was ok to walk in my house alone. (Strange question) She was like why would you think it wouldn't. *He told her he had heard that I am not a safe person to be around*. He said if he had to he would come into my house with her to make sure she would be ok. I just told her to be polite to him and tell him he is not welcome on my property.
> 
> It sounds like the xW is just filling his head full of shxx. Well lets hope for his sake he does not put himself in a bad spot.


so now you are not safe 

well sometimes it's ok if people think you are crazy and dangerous, They tend to leave you alone as should he (the new OM).

What ? is he trying to angle his way in to take your 2 kids? so he and your EX have all five of the kids

I suspect you will become "unsafe" if he is trying that


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

convert said:


> so now you not safe
> 
> well sometimes it's ok if people think you are crazy and dangerous, They tend to leave you alone as should he (the new OM).
> 
> ...


Hell sometimes you can even work it to your advantage...


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

yea the daughter should have said---Oh that thing that happen was settled in court... It was totally justified


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## imjustwatching (Jul 8, 2014)

I agree with rookie you and OM both eated the **** sandwich.
just you got more **** in it because you were the one who married her and had to go with the divorce .


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

chaos said:


> Meeting him may not be a bad idea. Your ex would probably would not be very happy if the two of you met considering all the BS she has probably fed him about you. Planting the seeds of doubt is a nice present from you to the new OM.


He could meet him for a beer, have a selfie of the both of them having a good time, and post it on FB.

She'll like that.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

I feel bad for the daughter.

If when younger, one of my parents wanted to run off with somebody because they just happened to be new enough, and would rather do that than be around their minor child, I'd have told them to F off


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

vellocet said:


> I feel bad for the daughter.
> 
> If when younger, one of my parents wanted to run off with somebody because they just happened to be new enough, and would rather do that than be around their minor child, I'd have told them to F off


Yeah poor kid  She probably has become emotionally attached to her half siblings and now faces not seeing them again for could be a long time. 

I truly hope that the new OM cheats and dumps the ex for a brand new model.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

xakulax said:


> The latest research studies would suggest otherwise
> 
> 
> 
> Once A Cheater Always A Cheater: Science Says Cheating Is Repetitive


The article at the above link is talking about people who marry their affair partner. It is true that it's very common for a cheater to then cheat on their affair partner turned spouse.


Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater & other Clichés: Myth or Fact? - Dr. Joy Davidson

"According to an online survey of nearly 21,000 men and women who claimed to have had affairs, 60% of the men and half of the women were unfaithful more than once. "

Other studies I've read report repeat cheating numbers as low as only 25%.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

Clay2013 said:


> I just can't believe people do this to kids.


I can't either. My ex also moved several states away after giving me custody of our daughter. I'm elated that I don't have to see her lying cheating @ss, but sad that my daughter has to grow up without a normal mom. 

Keep strong and know that in the end, perhaps it's better for your kids to grow up with just a healthy dad than with a ****ed up mom. 

ETA: now the kids that she had with OM, wow.. sounds like they're screwed.. A dad that doesn't want them AND a ****ed up mom.. Yeah, next generation of strippers is right.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

BTW how old are your 2 kids?


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

He knows what he got himself into and got what he deserved. Don't waste your time. Be a good dad to your kids.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> The article at the above link is talking about people who marry their affair partner. It is true that it's very common for a cheater to then cheat on their affair partner turned spouse.
> .


EGirl,

One thing in all the "Research" the % are all over the place. No wonder... cheating and lying are kiss-in cousins. 

On stat that is rarely ever stated or known... When someone cheats and is not caught (discovered) the first affair... What is the likelihood that they will enter into another affair when the 1st, 2nd, 3rd end. In general, affairs rarely last, but the desires, the thrill, the excitement goes on. 

This aspect of Serial Cheating is the Holy Grail of Infidelity.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

xakulax said:


> The latest research studies would suggest otherwise
> 
> 
> 
> Once A Cheater Always A Cheater: Science Says Cheating Is Repetitive


I respect all of your opinions. I'd just like to point out that cheaters who NEVER tell anyone about their cheating are not going to admit cheating to a researcher. And these are the ones least apt to be caught.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Well My daughter just found out this morning that her mother left and never even said good bye. My daughter called her to see when they would be leaving. She wanted to get the her half siblings gifts before they left. Her mom informed her the new BF said they had to leave in a rush because his tags had expired. My daughter is crushed. I feel so horrible for her. She hung up from her mother and came and talked to me. She went back up and called her mom back and over heard the guy her mom is with now screaming that my daughter needs to quit calling and crying. She also could hear him screaming at the babies. Her mom was crying too. 


My daughter is finally calmed back down. I just told her to give her mom few days to get things settled. I am not sure what pushed them to leave so fast without saying goodbye but I can only guess there was a fight with the new OM and the old one. The new one sure sounds like a real winner. 


I would like to say her mom gets what she deserves but I can help but feel really sad for her other kids and mine. 


Clay


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

That is some crazy sh1t....

I'd tell you to contact the exOM but it appears he doesn't give a dam.

WTF....new OM can't even keep his tags current and now new OM has an instant family......

This isn't going to turn out well for those three kids.

Half of me wants to laugh but those 3 babies don't deserve this crap.


I suggest you keep this drama as far away as you can from your kids.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

What are going to do when your ex knocks on your door in a month, with three dirty babies in a shopping cart?


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

Clay2013 said:


> Well My daughter just found out this morning that her mother left and never even said good bye. My daughter called her to see when they would be leaving. She wanted to get the her half siblings gifts before they left. Her mom informed her the new BF said they had to leave in a rush because his tags had expired. My daughter is crushed. I feel so horrible for her. She hung up from her mother and came and talked to me. She went back up and called her mom back and over heard the guy her mom is with now screaming that my daughter needs to quit calling and crying. She also could hear him screaming at the babies. Her mom was crying too.
> 
> 
> My daughter is finally calmed back down. I just told her to give her mom few days to get things settled. I am not sure what pushed them to leave so fast without saying goodbye but I can only guess there was a fight with the new OM and the old one. The new one sure sounds like a real winner.
> ...


Hey Clay, hopefully you can find someone nice who can provide your children with support.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Dear om

Roses are red
Violets are blue
When you went down on her
You tasted another mans goo.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Your "revenge" may have little effect on him. He may very well have been cheating too. Remember he wooed the wife of another man, yours. I feel your irony would be wasted on him since he probably isn't smart enough to understand it. But if it will make you feel better...have at it. And, if you do decide to do it, make it good.


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## Mr Right (Oct 5, 2013)

Clay2013 said:


> Well My daughter just found out this morning that her mother left and never even said good bye. My daughter called her to see when they would be leaving. She wanted to get the her half siblings gifts before they left. Her mom informed her the new BF said they had to leave in a rush because his tags had expired. My daughter is crushed. I feel so horrible for her. She hung up from her mother and came and talked to me. She went back up and called her mom back and over heard the guy her mom is with now screaming that my daughter needs to quit calling and crying. She also could hear him screaming at the babies. Her mom was crying too.
> 
> 
> My daughter is finally calmed back down. I just told her to give her mom few days to get things settled. I am not sure what pushed them to leave so fast without saying goodbye but I can only guess there was a fight with the new OM and the old one. The new one sure sounds like a real winner.
> ...


Agreed, Kids ALWAYS pay the BIGGEST PRICE in a divorce, even adult Kids who's parents divorce (when over 18) are greatly affected and Kids whos parents divorce when they are young, those effects show up the most in their adult lives and in the relationships they have.

How Could Divorce Affect My Kids? | Focus on the Family


Here is a good (short) video I watched yesterday about a letter a 10 yo boy wrote to his divorced parents

When His Parents Got Divorced, This Kid Wrote Them a Letter, and It’s a Must-Read For All of Us. | Faithit: Change the World. Share What Matters.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Some people are just not cut out to be parents. Sadly I had children with one of those people. My daughter has been extremely upset the last few days. Each time she calls her mom and tries to get answers her mom puts the phone on speaker phone and the new guy tells my daughter its none of her business. I know I should just get on the phone and tell him to shut up but my kids need to learn that this is the choice there mother made. They need to see her for who she really is. Life sucks sometimes and this is one of those times for my kids. I see this kind of as a blessing. She has never really been around for the kids anyhow. 
I personally hope she just stops calling the kids all together. My kids deserve way better. 

Clay


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## jin (Sep 9, 2014)

It is her choice but you can stand up for her and tell him off. You shouldn't let OM speak to your children like that. I bet your daughter would like you to stand up for her too.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Ouch Clay.
Sorry for this. VERY sorry your daughter has to go through this.
Just try to make sure you are around when she calls. Give them support afterwards.
Be calm, consistent and caring.
You will all get through this.

SMH...


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

I agree with jin, I would call them on the side and remind the mother and the OM that they are not married and he is therefor not their stepdad and has no rights to govern their upbringing in any sort of way and remind the mother the same that she has no right to drag the OM into such a conversation or situation. The children need to learn, but they also do not need to be submitted to such awful behavior and treatment.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I agree with jin, I would call them on the side and remind the mother and the OM that they are not married and he is therefor not their stepdad and has no rights to govern their upbringing in any sort of way and remind the mother the same that she has no right to drag the OM into such a conversation or situation. The children need to learn, but they also do not need to be submitted to such awful behavior and treatment.


Actually did this last night. 

There mom will get the hint when they want nothing to do with her. The great part of this for me is she brought this all on herself. The less I have to deal with her the happier I am and i can focus more on doing things with my kids. 

Clay


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

not sure if this was karma.....she would have cheated with another guy if not him.....so not quite sure if karma even plays a part unless she gets cheated on.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Augusto said:


> not sure if this was karma.....she would have cheated with another guy if not him.....so not quite sure if karma even plays a part unless she gets cheated on.


It is Karma for the OM she cheated on, that she cheated with against the OP. Karma for him. Hopefully she'll get hers soon as well.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Augusto said:


> not sure if this was karma.....she would have cheated with another guy if not him.....so not quite sure if karma even plays a part unless she gets cheated on.


It's sort of karma for OM #1. But as to whether or not he even cares...? Doesn't sound like it.

And, whether or not she sees it, realizes it, or acknowledges it, it's also a (very) small portion of karma for Clay's ex.


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## dkphap13 (Oct 21, 2014)

Clay2013 said:


> My xW and I divorce on January 21 2007. I had spend ten years with her cheating on me and the last time I caught her was 8 days before Christmas. Once it was clear to me she was cheating I threw her out. She immediately moved in with her friend "OM".
> 
> Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time and I am not sure what happened but I can only imagine he caught her.
> 
> ...


Hahahahahaha I would say be a batter man and keep your head high. But hahahah if I was on your shoes I would do it I rather feel better
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Your ex likes pregnancy. Maybe OM number two is hungry to start a family.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

OM#2 will get his in time. I hate that my kids are being dragged through it but It could not have been a better Christmas present to me. I personally hope she just stops calling all together. My kids deserve better. I have always been a advocate of the mother being in the kids lives but I think in this case she is more of a negative to there lives than she is a positive. 

The new guy sounds like he is really controlling. Every time my daughter tries to talk to her mom he is cutting into your conversation. I think there mother is putting the cell phone on speaker. My daughter asks her about it but she just keeps on lieing to them. 

I do not see things working out for my kids. Well all I can do is wait and see how things turn out. 

Clay


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Clay, YOU are abusing your daughter now. It is time you shut the communication down between them. YOU know it's not going to get better with him in the picture, and as she is NOT her birth mother, she has no say.

You sit your D down and tell her you can't stand to see her hurt anymore, so no more calls.

The relief you are getting off her and om1 is not worth the pain your D is going thru.
Yeah kids have to learn, but a father must decide when to protect for that child's own good. That time is now.

The 1st time he told my child it wasn't her biz, I would have been all over his as.
Anyway, it's father protector's time.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

The kids have a right to talk with their mother.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

LongWalk said:


> The kids have a right to talk with their mother.


This is true. But once the conversations become consistently counter-productive, hurtful, etc, Clay has every right -- in fact, a responsibility -- to shield his children from his ex's drama.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> The kids have a right to talk with their mother.


If only this were true. The courts only think in the way of "best interest" for the kids and not along the way of rights of the kids, as their view is generally that the kids have little to no rights until they reach the age of majority.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Age of majority means nothing in my state. Heard this directly from two different judges while doing Jury Duty. My xW will never take any of this to court. If she did she would have to explain why she wont help pay for any of the out of pocket expenses (Medical Bills). She was threatened with jail time two years ago over not paying child support. Once they find out she skipped town I doubt they will be as nice as they were before when they threatened her. Its in her best interest she stays away. 

My kids are not little kids anymore. They know who takes care of them. They don't always like my rules but they know where home is at. My son is seventeen and my daughter is now 14. They are old enough to know better. 

They actually worked together and put there mother on speaker phone. It was almost amazing my daughter grabbed a pencil and a pad and they wrote down the questions they wanted to ask her. Then went through the list one at a time. She of course lied ever step of the way. She changed her story for why she cant come back in town. I think if anyone is being punished now its their mom. 

Clay


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Of course she is being punished...she will need a reason to go find OM#3....
She continues to get in these phucked up relationships and she will continue to find OM after OM.

Its just a matter of time and when the kids become young adults they will come to term with the drama their mother has to offer....by then your ex could be on OM #5 or 6.....

Wow your kids are 17 & 14 and their mom is still pushing out babies.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

I can understand them bonding with her, she came into their live while small and needing a mother. So basically she is the only mother they have.
But please be careful how much hurt she does to them during this.


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