# Text from my wife's friend to my wife....



## stuck in los angeles (Feb 15, 2013)

I have other threads here with many details of many red flags and of coarse, my wife completely denies anything is going on. I have yet to find any evidence that she can't deny. She does have one girlfriend that she texts a lot. And I don't trust this one at all. She's a toxic friend.

Here's the question: If a wife was working on the other side of the country for 3 months, being pretty much the only woman working with 20 to 30 men, has a flirty personality and you find the following text in an SMS backup file, what would you think? 

"Wake up! Live the moment in all your glory with all those men. Be the queen bee!!"

I know context means a lot, but I couldn't find associated texts to tie in. This text was deleted, as my wife deletes everything. I don't know whether this friend is encouraging her to flirt, fvck or what. I think the worst though.


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

Um, she's a cheat?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

NAWWWW, no big flag for me.


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

stuck in los angeles said:


> I have other threads here with many details of many red flags and of coarse, my wife completely denies anything is going on. I have yet to find any evidence that she can't deny. She does have one girlfriend that she texts a lot. And I don't trust this one at all. She's a toxic friend.
> 
> Here's the question: If a wife was working on the other side of the country for 3 months, being pretty much the only woman working with 20 to 30 men, has a flirty personality and you find the following text in an SMS backup file, what would you think?
> 
> ...


Well I'd say that's pretty clear


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

stuck in los angeles said:


> I have other threads here with many details of many red flags and of coarse, my wife completely denies anything is going on. I have yet to find any evidence that she can't deny. She does have one girlfriend that she texts a lot. And I don't trust this one at all. She's a toxic friend.
> 
> Here's the question: If a wife was working on the other side of the country for 3 months, being pretty much the only woman working with 20 to 30 men, has a flirty personality and you find the following text in an SMS backup file, what would you think?
> 
> "Wake up! Live the moment in all your glory with all those men. Be the queen bee!!"


I wouldn't say that's a red flag, that's a funny joke.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

stuck in los angeles said:


> I have other threads here with many details of many red flags and of coarse, my wife completely denies anything is going on. I have yet to find any evidence that she can't deny. She does have one girlfriend that she texts a lot. And I don't trust this one at all. She's a toxic friend.
> 
> Here's the question: If a wife was working on the other side of the country for 3 months, being pretty much the only woman working with 20 to 30 men, has a flirty personality and you find the following text in an SMS backup file, what would you think?
> 
> ...


The queen bee leaves the hive followed by all the males at mating time to mate with the strongest. How many ways can you interpret this. Sounds like your wife has at least been hesitating and her friend is encouraging her to leap.

I would text my wife and ask her if her wh*re friend is trying to encourage her to play the field like a little birdy told me.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I would think, " why in the hell is my wife hidding text by deleting them" then I would think " who in the hell is meeting my wifes needs when we have been apart for so long", Then I would say to my self "why haven't I hire a PI in that area to validate my wifes commitment".........


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Have you seen your wife in the three months? How long has she been gone? Is the toxic friend married?


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> The queen bee leaves the hive followed by all the males at mating time to mate with the strongest. How many ways can you interpret this. Sounds like your wife has at least been hesitating and her friend is encouraging her to leap.
> 
> I would text my wife and ask her if her wh*re friend is trying to encourage her to play the field like a little birdy told me.


Sounds like fun.

If she doesn't squash this immediately you gotta drop her. That is a serious world of pain that most of us cannot fanthom.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Have you asked your wife? If she always has denied anything, I would ask her to take a polygraph.


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## chazmataz3 (May 29, 2013)

polygraph, var? now and insist on it or else


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## stuck in los angeles (Feb 15, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> Have you seen your wife in the three months? How long has she been gone? Is the toxic friend married?


Yes, the wife has been back for 5 weeks now. One of the guys at work, Joe, is married but felt the need to text her on the 4th just like he did last year on the 4th, Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I decided to look at her backup file. Joe's texts were gone but found the one mentioned. Toxic friend is single and desperately pursuing a guy that won't commit to anything.


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## stuck in los angeles (Feb 15, 2013)

harrybrown said:


> Have you asked your wife? If she always has denied anything, I would ask her to take a polygraph.


I asked her if she would take a poly, she said yes. She's been really attentive since then. When I add up all the red flags and details from my other posts, I can't believe she's NOT cheating.


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## stuck in los angeles (Feb 15, 2013)

Polygraphs are how much? I'm guessing ~$1500?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

It might have been a joke. Telling her to Lord it over the guys. I hope it was a joke...


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## stuck in los angeles (Feb 15, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> It might have been a joke. Telling her to Lord it over the guys. I hope it was a joke...


Yeah, lots of differing opinions on something like this. I hope you're right. I'm trying to imagine what my wife would have said to her friend to get that kind of response.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

stuck in los angeles said:


> Polygraphs are how much? I'm guessing ~$1500?


Parking lot confessions are free.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

stuck in los angeles said:


> Polygraphs are how much? I'm guessing ~$1500?


$600 to $2000?

Global Polygraph Network - Lie Detector Testing and Exams


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

stuck in los angeles said:


> Yeah, lots of differing opinions on something like this. I hope you're right. I'm trying to imagine what my wife would have said to her friend to get that kind of response.


It's the kind of joke women I know make.

"Imagine me with all those men!"

Etc.


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## stuck in los angeles (Feb 15, 2013)

SaltInWound said:


> Parking lot confessions are free.


Just being there might make her decide to confess before going in?


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## stuck in los angeles (Feb 15, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> It's the kind of joke women I know make.
> 
> "Imagine me with all those men!"
> 
> Etc.


I can imagine that too. I'm hoping for that but given all her other strange behaviour while on these trips, I can't say for sure.


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

stuck in los angeles said:


> I asked her if she would take a poly, she said yes. She's been really attentive since then. When I add up all the red flags and details from my other posts, I can't believe she's NOT cheating.


She's so slick and confident in her lie.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

go to your closest police dept precinct---they will get you set up---cost should be around $400----but of course here in calif---gov brown probably has his hand out---and wants his cut for the state

As to the text---that could be taken any # of ways---in jest, giving your wife props---kind of letting her know she has the possibility of a fun situation for her---not so much for you

I don't know your wife's past history---that is gonna affect the way YOU look at the text


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> It might have been a joke. Telling her to Lord it over the guys. I hope it was a joke...


He should ask her "babe can you bring back some honey as we're all out of the stuff?"


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## darklilly23 (May 26, 2013)

Headspin said:


> He should ask her "babe can you bring back some honey as we're all out of the stuff?"


Lol ask her when she will "bee" back? "my queen"
Sorry, but humor is your friend, in the middle of all you are going through, it will help you stay sane  
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I remember your story. Your W has very serious boundary issues & this guy, Joe, is one of them.

Definitely do the poly.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> I remember your story. Your W has very serious boundary issues & this guy, Joe, is one of them.
> 
> Definitely do the poly.


Yea there should be plenty of polys in la $400 to $600 do it I mean she had his picture on her screensaver? Boy is that tacky to say the least.


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

alte Dame said:


> I remember your story. Your W has very serious boundary issues & this guy, Joe, is one of them.
> 
> Definitely do the poly.


Yes, don't wait until she's polishing someone else's stinger(If she hasn't already).

Schedule a poly.

Tell her what the consequences will be if she fails it.

If she does fail it, FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.


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## stuck in los angeles (Feb 15, 2013)

tom67 said:


> Yea there should be plenty of polys in la $400 to $600 do it I mean she had his picture on her screensaver? Boy is that tacky to say the least.


Actually it was in "my pictures". But the only pic there.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

stuck in los angeles said:


> Actually it was in "my pictures". But the only pic there.


Sorry I guess I have CRS forgive me. You have to admit that is wrong.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

I just told my friend via phone conversations, "When I come visit we'll hit the bars and act like ****s". 

I meant it as a joke because we are not like that at all. We are going to go to the zoo when I'm in town and visit her elderly father in the nursing home.

I said it as a joke because are plans are pretty flat and the bar days are long gone.

I don't have a history of affairs so I might monitor but not confront.

My husband would text female co-workers while they were on their vacations and say, "Hey, how's the beach? It sure is quite around here with no one to talk to." Some times he would add: "You are missed". My husband is a huge serial cheater and needs constant attention.

I guess it could be harmless or not. 

Keep your ears and eyes open.


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

stuck in los angeles said:


> Yes, the wife has been back for 5 weeks now. One of the guys at work, Joe, is married but felt the need to text her on the 4th just like he did last year on the 4th, Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I decided to look at her backup file. Joe's texts were gone but found the one mentioned. Toxic friend is single and desperately pursuing a guy that won't commit to anything.


Funny. One of the guys chasing my wife at the time of her EA (yes, she was interested in someone else but I swear married women give off a "vibe" that they are receptive), used to text her pleasantries on holidays too.

You need to c*ck-block this guy. And watch your wife like a secret agent, man. Keep digging. You haven't found the worst of it yet.


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

InlandTXMM said:


> Funny. One of the guys chasing my wife at the time of her EA (yes, she was interested in someone else but I swear married women give off a "vibe" that they are receptive), used to text her pleasantries on holidays too.
> 
> You need to c*ck-block this guy. And watch your wife like a secret agent, man. Keep digging. You haven't found the worst of it yet.


That vibe may mean they are enjoying sexual and other forms of attention that makes them feel good. So they are definately open to it.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

No reason for her to delete texts unless...


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

If it was innocent joking around, it wasn't funny....

I would confront her.


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

AlphaProvider said:


> That vibe may mean they are enjoying sexual and other forms of attention that makes them feel good. So they are definately open to it.


She could intepret it as she's just enjoying life, and it feels good to be noticed. She might not trying to garner sex, but likes the attention.

To the other extreme is a *****y standoffish vibe which is hard to be attracted to in the first place.


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

Healer said:


> No reason for her to delete texts unless...


Confront her. And when you do, try to remain calm but stern. My WW lied through her teeth at first too. When I confronted her the second tine, I made it clear that anymore lies, and rational shadow steps aside, and it was all fire and brimstone from then on. She fessed up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

"I get that feeling too man"


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