# What happens when one spouse retires way earlier than the other



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Have a friend who is dating a woman about 10 years his junior. Today we were talking about some retirement plans and he brought up they if he were to marry this Gf he would likely be retired 20 years or more before she was. I wondered if that has ever been an issue with anyone here where one spouse works and the other is retired. Did that build up resentment? I would figure that it could.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

One of my family members did this. He took over much of what she used to do, as she was a stay at home mom. She ended up getting some kind of degree and working for a few years. He took up the slack at home. It went on until she retired. It can work. Depends on their commitment to the relationship. I guess.

Edit: She wasn't a huge amount younger, but he retired early and she was a little younger.


----------



## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

My husband retired way earlier. We have no problems with that as he does most of the household and record keeping tasks for us. It frees me from my chores while I go to work full-time. He is much appreciated.


----------



## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Omg! Ten years early?

Stars would align! Virgins would give birth. And kings from far away lands would adorn me with gifts!


----------



## jacko jack (Feb 19, 2015)

Good morning
My wife decided to retire nearly ten years ago, stating that people where bullying her at work, so she quit her job before she was fifty. She stated to me that she just wanted to be a housewife, nothing more could be further from the truth. Seems to me she just wanted an easy life, she will not get a pension in her own right for another eight years.


----------



## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

The one who retires first is retiring only from their job. At this point they should pick up 98% of the slack in the household duties. Do everything ... cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, banking, taxes, car maintenance ... everything, thus leaving the working spouse with a much relieved life as well. Then when he/she comes home from work enjoy your time together. Have some fun together. 
Retirement for one should make for an easier life for both.


----------



## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

This happened to my parents in law.

My FinL worked for one of the large petrol/oil companies. They downsized, he was offered an excellent early retirement package aged 58 which he, sensibly took.
His wife, 4 years younger worked for a large insurance company which had recently been taken over by a larger company. The writing was clearly on the wall that she would be offered a redundancy package (and a good one) in the next year.

She decided that as her husband had retired it would be unfair for her not to also - not to keep him company but because why should she continue working and he didn't?
Instead of waiting for the redundancy/early retirement package she simply resigned. No golden handshake etc nothing. Last salary + untaken leave pay and collect your pension in six years.
Thank-you for helping us.

My FinL was furious. How selfish can she get? 

I know where my wife gets it from.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

My wife is about 8 years younger. I plan to retire in a few years. I hope she can retire with me. As long as there's affordable health insurance for her, she can. Otherwise, she may need to get insurance through a job. She likes to keep busy and be productive, so won't mind working if necessary. I'd prefer for her to have more time that I can spend with her, though.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My hb is 19 years older, and while he wasn't planning on retiring for another 10 years he got laid off from his job 6 months ago and depending on how the job search goes he may end up retiring. It's been fine for the most part, he's picked up all the slack at home and I like my job so don't mind going to work. It had been an adjustment for his social life though, he did most of his socializing at work so now he doesn't have that. He'll have to find ways to occupy himself and socialize.

My goal anyway is to get to the point where in 10 years I can consult and work when I want so we can spend more time together. in my field this is possible. 

He absolutely must pick up slack at home, best way for him to cause resentment is to continue to leave the house to her even though she's still working.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Omg! Ten years early?
> 
> Stars would align! Virgins would give birth. And kings from far away lands would adorn me with gifts!


:rofl:


----------



## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

My husband is over 10 years older than I am. He will definitely retire earlier than I do, our goal is to make the gap between our retirement dates as small as possible given what is fiscally responsible for us (e.g., insurance, retirement disbursements, etc).


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I'm 8 years older than my W. My W is a SAHM. I suspect she will work at a school like she has done in the past after our D are finished college. More than likely I will retire and my W will work at a school until she wants to retire. I see only reversing roles. If she stays working at the school. I will be the SAHH(husband). However, our nest egg is on track for both of use to retire and have a leisurely retirement at that. 

Funny thing she says though, "I don't want you to retire because it will mean we are old." LOL. I'm retiring at 62 if my game plan works out. That ain't old!


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Kinda glad to see this isn't an issue inside a relationship. I would think that the way it's described here then really both partners win. the retired person picks up some of the slack at home making the working spouses life way easier.

Retirement for me involves moving so unless my would be spouse agreeed to move I won't be getting married again before I retire


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I want to add, he still had time to go fishing with a buddy, have breakfast with other ex-coworkers who retired, go hunting for a weekend, and some other things.


----------



## octaviaa (Mar 3, 2015)

I don't' think his retiring before her will cause problems. I have a co-worker whose husband retired early. She gets the easy life now..goes to work and comes home to a house that's sparkly clean with gourmet dinners on the table. Seriously her husband pretty much became a chef. She takes 3 days a week off to have the ability to spend a little time with him too. She loves it!

Most older men aren't lazy, they like to keep busy and active. I'm sure he certainly won't sit around while his wife cooks, cleans, runs errands, works etc. Not only that, by the time he retires he has had a lifetime of work, she should understand that.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

octaviaa said:


> I don't' think his retiring before her will cause problems. I have a co-worker whose husband retired early. She gets the easy life now..goes to work and comes home to a house that's sparkly clean with gourmet dinners on the table. Seriously her husband pretty much became a chef. She takes 3 days a week off to have the ability to spend a little time with him too. She loves it!
> 
> Most older men aren't lazy, they like to keep busy and active. I'm sure he certainly won't sit around while his wife cooks, cleans, runs errands, works etc. Not only that, by the time he retires he has had a lifetime of work, she should understand that.


Octaviaa, I look forward to it truth be told.


----------

