# Update



## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

Last time I was on here, I was deployed, sometime in January. I was posting in the Coping with Infidelity section, because I was suspecting something. Whether or not that has happened, I'll never know. But, everyone's advice pointed to, divorce her.

Since my last post, she aborted my child with my money against my will, and ran off to LA to live with family, or some ****. I don't know. She made no effort to pursue a divorce. So I initiated the divorce. 

I've since become an alcoholic. Losing motivation for my job, have pretty much lost all will to do anything other than drink. Losing the kid is the main factor to my problems, but within the last week, for some reason, she keeps popping in my head, and its messing with me pretty hard. I was doing really well up until then.


I know shes doing fairly well, from the outside as least. Apparently got a decent job in LA, I'm sure has developed some good friendships and doing exactly what she wanted: Party and do drugs and ****. I logged onto her twitter, she also contacted one of the guys that has been a problem throughout all the 3.5 years we were together, told him we were divorced, and asked for his number. 

My question is. What in the hell do you guys do in order to prevent your self from falling apart?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

manonfire said:


> Last time I was on here, I was deployed, sometime in January. I was posting in the Coping with Infidelity section, because I was suspecting something. Whether or not that has happened, I'll never know. But, everyone's advice pointed to, divorce her.
> 
> Since my last post, she aborted my child with my money against my will, and ran off to LA to live with family, or some ****. I don't know. She made no effort to pursue a divorce. So I initiated the divorce.
> 
> ...


Are you in therapy?


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Are you in therapy?


No, but I do speak to our Chaplain.

On another note, was curious, decided to go through her email after that post. In her sent, I found naked pictures sent to this kid we went to highschool with. Also found pictures indicating they were hanging out together. When she went home to FL, for a week before she left to LA. She partied every night at this guys house with some ***** friend. I even told her I was suspicious of them before she left. She had me so convinced I was just a jealous ass hole. Glad to know I'm not crazy.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

manonfire said:


> No, but I do speak to our Chaplain.
> 
> On another note, was curious, decided to go through her email after that post. In her sent, I found naked pictures sent to this kid we went to highschool with. Also found pictures indicating they were hanging out together. When she went home to FL, for a week before she left to LA. She partied every night at this guys house with some ***** friend. I even told her I was suspicious of them before she left. She had me so convinced I was just a jealous ass hole. Glad to know I'm not crazy.


She clearly banged him.

Save the pictures.

Get in counseling.


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

Conrad said:


> She clearly banged him.
> 
> Save the pictures.
> 
> Get in counseling.


Oh I'm 150% sure she did.

She left 2 laptops, an expensive camera and 5 garbage bags of clothes and boxes of other ****. Do I sell it?

Send the pictures to her dad? 

Tell her extremely religious mom that nearly abandoned her for aborting our first child when we were 18, that she aborted ANOTHER child, and cheated on me again?

What to do...what to do..


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, I remember you. Sorry we were right.

Alcohol isn't the solution. You definitely need counseling.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

manonfire said:


> Oh I'm 150% sure she did.
> 
> She left 2 laptops, an expensive camera and 5 garbage bags of clothes and boxes of other ****. Do I sell it?
> 
> ...


You really have to ask?

She's only killed 2 of your children?

Why wouldn't you want her back?

Sell anything of hers that isn't nailed down.


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## mule kick (Apr 10, 2012)

I found I needed the affirmation from other women that I wasn't the problem. You can't be happy with her or with the thoughts of her in your head. It took me about 6 months to clear my ex out of my head with short but satisfying relationships slowly getting me balanced. After that I did finally meet someone that is a better person than my ex and makes me happier than I was in the first place. Oh and the drinking helped, too.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Straight up adivce here:

Stop all damaging behavior. The drinking and keeping tabs on her now.

She treated you like trash, she even aborted your child. You can't let her win by allowing her to be happier. You have no control over choice to abort. Yes it's wrong and unfair. But it's done, you HAVE to move on and be happy.
There's no magic formula, it takes guts, getting up and having a life.

So go on, start by getting healthy food.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

eBay is your best friend.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I remember your posts from earlier. She is not worth you giving up any more of the good things in life for. By that I mean you are letting her damage you further if you let her past actions lead you to drink or to give up on having a happy life yourself.

Yes she did some nasty things to you, and you have good reason to be angry. There was nothing fair about it. But at the end of the day you cannot un-do those things she did. Stop beating yourself up for being in this situation. You have to turn your back on her so that you can walk towards your new better life.


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Sell the stuff,tell her mother about the second abortion and possibly sue for paternal rights. I know some states do permit the married father a say in the situation when it comes to an abortion. She is not a healthy girl and the sooner you walk away the better.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Stop letting this chick define you!

What the phuck??? is she really worth this missery?

the best revenge is living a good life and showing others how bad @ss you are with out her and the best thing...the most positive thing that ever happened in your life was when she left you.

See once others see you moving on and doing better then ever before it will get back to her and someday when she contacts you you can honestly say " I'm better off with out you" wish her the best and hang up.

I'm guessing she hears about how sh1tty you are doing...change this crap around, dust your self off, and get it the puck together! Never let any women do this to you!


Its not what knocks us down that matters, its how we get back up that count

Sincerly,
the-guy with the cheating wife


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

With regards to getting your old lady out of your head, I tell my self "I diserve good things" 
I force those thoughts out by repeating to my self "I diserve good things" do not let that evil control you.

Your ego is your best friend, its up to you, you have a strong mind...so use it!!!!

You are way better then her so way go down this road of self distruction when you have a lot to offer?


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

I made a post on face book, saying 'I knew I was right. I'm glad I wasn't just crazy this whole time'

20 minutes after that I got a text from her saying 'All I need is a yes I would, or no I wouldn't answer. But you would never get back with me right?'

She deleted me, and I have mine set to private, so someone is keeping tabs on me for her, I assume. 

She still doesn't know I found these things out. I haven't confronted her about it. 

I did not answer, and I'm not going to. The answer is an obvious no.


In a weird way, stumbling upon this information has given me a sense of closure. Knowing I wasn't a terrible person, and that she did these things because of it, rather shes a terrible person, and an idiot.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

She's psychotic.

Please get some therapy for yourself.


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