# What do I do?



## CaliMomof3 (Jan 3, 2011)

I had a meeting tonight so H came over to stay with the kids. I appreciate that. But when I came home he was on the computer and raced to turn it off. Then he asked me questions about my meeting but didn't listen. He grabbed his things and left.

This is exactly how he was before when he was into the online chat and sex stuff. I am feeling very angry right now. I know I filed for divorce; I felt I had no choice since he wouldn't stop this internet sex stuff and actually tried to meet other people. Now I am wondering if he has resumed.

My issue is I don't want my children around this. What he does on his own time is his own business but I don't want him to bring people home or try to hook up with people when are kids are with him.

I feel like I shouldn't be upset or surprised. He couldn't or wouldn't change for the last 7 years so why should he now? However his behavior tonight just throws me back to the past and it makes me so angry.

He promised to meet with me and my lawyer to work out custody and support. I don't want to take him for everything I can get, I just want enough to make sure the kids and I can get by. He swore time and time again but then went and hired a lawyer of his own. I feel like I cannot trust him. He constantly says one thing and does another. This recent behavior just reminds me so much of the past that I can't help but feel upset.

Any advice? Do I confront him for his behavior? Do I let it go and just hope for the best? I have no proof so it will be his word against mine but his behavior and actions just hit me hard tonight.

Thanks for your input!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

add a startup password to your computer (it was your computer he was on?)


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## CaliMomof3 (Jan 3, 2011)

No he was using his work computer so I have no permissions or access. Just flashbacks to a crappy past.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Talk to him about it. Ask if thats what he was doing and say how it made you feel now and in the past. Tell him that this is why you are leaving him.



> What he does on his own time is his own business but I don't want him to bring people home or try to hook up with people when are kids are with him.


I don't really get why you said this. Internet chant and sex is definitely not alright.


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## CaliMomof3 (Jan 3, 2011)

Well, I guess in my own mind I am trying to accept the fact that we are no longer together and is it really any different from bringing a girlfriend over for the evening? I hate all of this. I really do but I am trying to find "reasonable" in my rationale and it is super hard!


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I guess I didn't understand you the first time. I would definitely make it clear that that isn't something that is OK to do around you. Even if he wasn't up to that, make sure he is aware.

The rules get very blurry. Hold your ground on stuff like this even if its not 100% rational.


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