# A man looks in my direction and then ????



## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

I was at the water park with my kids and there was another single dad with his kids . I kinda noticed he looked over at me quite discreetly just I had noticed him very discreetly . I was impressed as he had 5 kids in tow , 3 looking like his own and two others not his ( unless he is the step dad or just bringing out the kids' friends) .

Well , we happened to be at the same play area 3-4 times and he looked over . So i guessed he is a single . 

Last spot , at the exit , I looked over and he spinned his head away :frown2:

Question is what should I do when that happens to make known that I am liking what I see in him without looking desperate or worse , in case he is not single at all ? 

Maybe I should give up on shy guys ?:frown2:


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

tripad said:


> I was at the water park with my kids and there was another single dad with his kids . I kinda noticed he looked over at me quite discreetly just I had noticed him very discreetly . I was impressed as he had 5 kids in tow , 3 looking like his own and two others not his ( unless he is the step dad or just bringing out the kids' friends) .
> 
> Well , we happened to be at the same play area 3-4 times and he looked over . So i guessed he is a single .
> 
> ...


No.

Look at his left hand, ring finger. If he is wearing a wedding band, leave him be.

If not, check to see if the area where the ring would be is "white". 

If not white, then approach him. 

Ask him "Does your wife bring the children to the park, also?".

You will get your answer. 

You will get your first subjective audio-taste of this man. You have the visual....and you approve.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

A simple "Hi," would probably be the best start. 

Obviously, if he is married leave him alone but the truth is you won't really know until you speak to him. Some divorced men still wear their wedding ring either out of habit or because they are gun shy and hide behind it. Some married men have never worn one. It's not a reliable indicator of status.


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

Didn't you learn how to deal with this back in high school?:nerd:

You smile in his direction..or...*GASP!*..you walk over and say hello. He's just a person, and people smile and say hello to each other. He cannot read your mind. He doesn't know what you're thinking.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Didn't approach a guy in high school nor as a young adult . Single days, mostly the boys made the move. 

As a single mum, I feel I need to make know that I am a single mum and thus available.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Wow 

Walk over to a stranger n say "Hi"! 

In business n work, yes.

In approaching a man, I will find it difficult unless I am on a bet!


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

tripad said:


> Wow
> 
> Walk over to a stranger n say "Hi"!
> 
> ...


What is so frightening about saying hello to someone? 

This is something you will have to overcome unless you want to be limited to only men who approach you.


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

If you look at every man as just a potential romantic involvement, yes, it's hard to "Make the first move". But, if you just see them as another person, then it's natural. People naturally acknowledge each other. Where it goes remains to be seen. Actually, what you do is unnatural. you're the shy one, not him.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

zookeeper said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > Wow
> ...



Yes 

I know that is the problem. Men who approached me, are so far pretty alpha n aggressive or are pretty smooth n suave in picking women. N I doubt their sincerity n longevity in relationships. 

I prefer the quiet but stable kind. N these kind won't approach a women off the streets.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Unicus said:


> If you look at every man as just a potential romantic involvement, yes, it's hard to "Make the first move". But, if you just see them as another person, then it's natural. People naturally acknowledge each other. Where it goes remains to be seen. Actually, what you do is unnatural. you're the shy one, not him.



Hmmmmm

I am not known to be shy. I can take the challenge n dance on table tops or pick up that guy over there. 

Hmmmmm. But other than that, in seriously approaching a man, yeah, I would not wear my heart on my sleeve. Maybe that's shy, in reality. Never saw it that way. Got to ponder.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Nothing wrong with striking up a conversation, but don’t think you should ‘make it known’ to a total stranger, that you’re available. That comes across as desperate, IMO.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

You give one of your kids $5 to trip and fall down in front of him.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

tripad said:


> Wow
> 
> Walk over to a stranger n say "Hi"!
> 
> ...


Then bet yourself!!

Just go over and make a nice comment about one or all of his kids, or comment that you can't believe how well they all get on. If that doesn't open up a parent's conversation noting will, you may also find out which are his at the same time.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Take off your top when he looks over at you :wink2:


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Yes n I will get the sleaze bags interested in me n scare the nice guys away


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

tripad said:


> Yes n I will get the sleaze bags interested in me n scare the nice guys away


Do your children play with his children at the park?


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

CynthiaDe said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > Yes n I will get the sleaze bags interested in me n scare the nice guys away
> ...



No.

Public park. First time we crossed path. Probably never again.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Well, the plus side of this is that you know you are still hot. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Thanks 
I don't exude sexuality n melt butter. 
I just look nice n healthy n toned.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Commenting on the kids is the ticket. That's why guys borrow dogs to take to the park - a conversation starter.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

A guy may look at you and appreciates what he sees but has no way of knowing if you are single or in a relationship, unless he gets close enough to look for a ring. If walking directly up to him and saying hi makes you uncomfortable then discreetly work your way close to him and find something to comment about "wow, what a pack of kids you got" or "great day to bring the kids to the beach" "nothing like a frozen slurpy on a hot summer day"

Or when you catch him looking you could shake your finger at him like he's a bad little boy but smile and wink at the same time. I would consider that a friendly flirty move the should get a response out of him.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

He might have been window shopping.


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

@tripad, after all you went through with your h, I can see why you'd be cautious. Just say hi to him, or nod the next time you make eye contact. I have a favorite restaurant and I saw a nice looking guy across the bar several times, and one time I thought he was looking at me, but assumed he was looking at the tv mounted on the wall over my head. 

Eventually, though, he did strike up a conversation. We didn't work out as a couple, which I figured out early on; he was fun to talk to at first when he was a listener but then he wasn't, and he turned out not to be a good conversationalist. But we did go somewhere for drinks one night and I gave him a kiss. Now we're friends and he's someone to talk to on occasion. 

It's not like you're making a life-long commitment, but as someone says, now you know you're hot!


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

I have analysed myself after the divorce and look back into the past analytically .

The quiet nice boys / young men who always looked from afar but made no move or no fast and hard moves and always end up staying there as a friend or colleague . My past relationships had always been with guys who made the move on me as I believe that should be the case . But these end up to be " bad boys " or "utter *******s" ultimately . The quiet guys seemed to be either intimated or not pursuing much .

Example. When my ex pursue me , there was another quiet nice boy ( and rich ! how stupid can I get ! ) who asked me out but I went with me ex as he had expressed more interest and "love" and more fun . Disastrous years followed .

Now , I went to the gym and there was the coach who made a move and bend over and peered at me :surprise: and I realised I instinctively n emotionally recoiled at that move . Light bulbs went off in my head "bad boy"!

I kinda made a decision to only go for the nice quiet stable responsible man this time . He doesn't need to talk much and that's fine since I am quite a chatterbox . Lol . But then , these quiet ones don't approach . maybe they get intimated , maybe they think i prefer more muscles , more aggressive ones , more alpha ones .

But to me , alpha men means responsibility and love , not loud and muscles . 

Now I am thinking if I had been approached in the past relationships and all that failed . Does it mean I will score better if I pick my man and approached them ? Maybe a quiet responsible man may love their women more ?

Just thinking .


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> He might have been window shopping.


It is ok to window shop .

I like to be behind the window :grin2: It is good to know I am still having appreciative looks coming my way . After all , i work hard to keep in shape and having appreciating looks made me want to work harder at the track and gym LOL:laugh:


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

TeddieG said:


> @tripad, after all you went through with your h, I can see why you'd be cautious.


It's really bad. Even during divorce, he wanted me over the cliff, with 2 kids in tow. N I "took his bullet" for him more than once in the mess he caused. He failed as a man. 

It's his loss. Not mine. 

I am beautiful inside n outside n independent. My children are beautiful inside n outside n intelligent. Don't think a future step dad will complain.


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