# Older man younger woman



## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Well Guys,

I got divorced and now Im engaged to a 21 year old. Im a youthful 47.

She is the sweetest and most affectionate and also sexual woman I have ever known…and that means a lot to me after my cold and sexually repressed and disturbed ex wife….

But….everyone…except for her…..seems to think she will inevitably leave me. She is very attractive by the way…..as far as MMSL stuff, Id say we are both 7-8's because of her age and looks, and my heath and status for my age.

Also, let me add that my dad's third and final I think marriage was to a woman 20 years younger than him and its lasted over 30 years now.

In addition, I want to support her and Im able to do that, but she is so conflicted about it…one day she wants to be a supported home maker, and another she wants to have a high powered business….

I guess at that age its normal to not know what you want.

Anyway….even though we love each other and are compatible sexually and emotionally, should I leave her JUST because of the age gap?

We have been together now for 7 months. Let me add she is foreign and in order to continue the relationship I have to marry her in order to obtain a USA Visa for her….I have to work in USA and she lives 8000 miles away so its either

(1) Marry her within 90 days of her arrival into the USA….this is the law with K1 fiancee visa…work on getting her to agree to a solid prenup.

(2) Let her go on the basis that this degree of age gap, and her young age in general, make it nearly impossible according to the wise of the word…to have a functional and lasting marriage…and its way too much financial risk for me also….

(3) Try to maintain a long distance relationship…..currently I travel to her country monthly, but its wearing on me and my business and my bank account to some degree….and its just too painful when we are apart for 3-4 weeks at a time…

Some days I want to privately sob because I see it as doomed despite the fact that we are happy and in love and have enough in common to make a relationship work.

I get negative thoughts after reading all kinds of skeptical replies to my posts and despite her never showing even the slightest interest in other guys, I just assume she will cheat on me eventually and leave me…..

I can't discuss this with her of course as any time Ive tried it comes across as me:
1. Not trusting her
2. Being weak and fearful
3. Not having faith in our relationship

I just don't think she knows yet how people can change and how the world often lets us all down.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

What I'm worried about is the fact that you were only divorced in June of this year.

Dude...you've moved too fast and this new relationship is likely doomed because of it.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I don't believe that age is ever really the problem, but the percentage difference can cause difficulties because of the difference in life experiences. Your GF is 45% your age and you are 225% of her's. Only time will tell if this percentage difference is too great.

I wish you both well.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Some questions for you...

1. How did you meet? Naturally or through a foreign dating service?
2. Have you thoroughly discussed plans for children?
3. Are you her first boyfriend/sexual partner?
4. Is her country's culture a match for yours?
5. What interests/activities do you have in common?
6. Why do you love her? Looks, intelligence, wit, etc.

You've only known each other for 7 months, are not together constantly during that time and have a 26 year age difference. Obviously, there are some hurdles here.

You already question her flightiness as far as wanting to be a homemaker or professional. She's 21. My 21 year old is in college and still unsure about life goals.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

Hi!

I have seen a 43 year old man marry a 21 year old woman. He consistently earnt more, he was built like the incredible hulk, he was a convincing father-figure, confident, an ex-SAS man with trophies for boxing, and kept her away from men and her family.
Yet when she got a job at a supermarket eight years later, within a year she started cheating with a spotty little sissy, and tried to carry on even when he found out. He had to find the guy and threaten him, the spotty sissy backed out, but his wife still kept trying to re-establish contact... When I parted from my girlfriend, a couple of months later she came round to my house drunk, and we went out to the pub together a couple of times... she invited me round to dinner... I liked her husband and her, so I went round... it was OK... I got another invitation, went round... that's when he blew his top at his wife and banned me... I'm an honest sort of chap, and I didn't get it at the time, being so much younger, but now I fully realise how intolerable her behaviour was... makes me sick.

You don't want this hassle, and I take it you're probably not a massive guy who can enforce his will like this woman's husband... which will make this period so much harder.

The age gap is huge. It's OK for now, it really is. But when you get to 55 it won't be OK - and that will co-incide with the 'seven-year itch' and in my experience, AND with the age at which women's sexual preferences begin to be overruled by the biological imperative rather than merely having a good time/making 'love' etc. She'll be wanting sex for sex' sake by then.

You have money and she doesn't - temptation will always be there to get half off you whenever there's an argument.

You didn't like your first marriage - Some people say that we make the same mistakes because we keep picking the same sort of person.

The fact that she is very attractive and from a foreign country where beauty is normal (is she Ukrainian) spells disaster for when she moves and gets a visa.

I'm sorry, but I personally see no chance of a long term marriage. Nothing to do with your or her honesty or personality, just the circumstances.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Sandfly said:


> Hi!
> 
> I have seen a 43 year old man marry a 21 year old woman. He consistently earnt more, he was built like the incredible hulk, he was a convincing father-figure, confident, an ex-SAS man with trophies for boxing, and kept her away from men and her family.
> Yet when she got a job at a supermarket eight years later, within a year she started cheating with a spotty little sissy, and tried to carry on even when he found out. He had to find the guy and threaten him, the spotty sissy backed out, but his wife still kept trying to re-establish contact... When I parted from my girlfriend, a couple of months later she came round to my house drunk, and we went out to the pub together a couple of times... she invited me round to dinner... I liked her husband and her, so I went round... it was OK... I got another invitation, went round... that's when he blew his top at his wife and banned me... I'm an honest sort of chap, and I didn't get it at the time, being so much younger, but now I fully realise how intolerable her behaviour was... makes me sick.
> ...


:iagree:

I am a woman but wanted to respond. I totally agree with this. I think that at some point she will want to trade you in for a younger model..... When sheś 40, you will be 66. 
The lack of independence she will have is also worrisome. If she already had a profession and was able to get sent to the States without your help, it would be easier to analyze her motives.

I sound cynical, but maybe I am. I am seeing red flags everywhere.....


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I was w/a man who was almost 20yrs my senior.It didn't last. I ultimately grew up and figured out that I didn't like being treated like a party favor sex toy and I wanted a man to respect me as his wife and partner.
The pressure of being looked at as a gold digger likely factored into my decision to leave also.

His life was established already.We had nothing to experience together.We had nothing to build together because it was already built.We had nothing other than good times and sex but I needed more than that.

When I was 20,his presence was warming.Comforting.Sexy.Powerful.Just what I needed.He rescued me.Guided me.

When I was 25 something in me changed.I wanted a man to stand next to me.Not in front of me.I didn't need a white knight.I needed a partner and a respectful lover.

I changed.He stayed the same bc he already knew who he was.


My feeling is date her.Have fun with her.But don't expect anything serious or lasting. What she wants in a man now most likely won't resemble what she wants when she's older.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

I have known of cases like yours that have been sucessful marriages, my personal point of view is that an age difference large engough to be the partner's father/mother is too risky (more than 15 years), but then again is your life, and like I told you I have known of others like you who have accomplished before, my real objection will be her age (not the gap for the age, the age itself), I remember dating 21's when I was 28 and I thought that they were inmature in many ways and that their personality was still being molded (I am 31 BTW)


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Large age difference is a factor for increased risk of problems, but does not ensure them.

I know of several successful relationships with similar or greater age differences, that have lasted and look to continue. An important consideration is her maturity and expectations, and how well you can communicate about both general relationship issues and those specific to your age difference. The age difference could become more problematical once you approach retirement, especially if she has to work. Health and sex issues as you age may become a problem for a younger, healthier wife if her libido is high and yours isn't. It may be too soon to discuss some of these things, but I'd probably want to talk about them at least a little to be sure we both know what to expect eventually, and prepare to deal with it.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

fetishwife said:


> Well Guys,
> 
> I got divorced and now Im engaged to a 21 year old. Im a youthful 47.
> 
> ...



So you basically are going to marry your daughter.

But today, age isn't as big of a factor as it was back then. When I was a kid, men and women were about the same age when dating and getting married. Now ages vary wildly and in some cases, it works. I know of a few married couples that are 14 or so years apart have have great marriages.

You are recently divorced, meet this young hot woman from another country, 21 years old and requires a Visa. Hmmmm.......is she pretending to love you and when she is married to you and over here, divorces you for a man her age and starts her own business?!

You travel 8000 miles to see her??? She knows she owns you!!

My gut tells me, and you won't like this, but she could be using you to get over here legally, married, financially and then might leave you. What does a 21 year old have in common with a 47 year old? When she is in her sexual prime, 30's, you will be maybe 60+ and a senior citizen. Do you think she wants sex with a senior when she could have a man her age???

Women are not naive because they live in another country.....

I too am seeing red flags everywhere.


I would check out US based dating sites and find a woman in the same situation as yourself. You have that in common, similar ages. You don't have to travel 8000 miles to see her either. No worry about her leaving you for a man her age. There is no generation gap either. No red flags there.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Age difference is the least of your problems. You are too recently divorced, have had too little day-to-day contact and are involved with someone who may have a very good reason to say anything you want to hear in order to attain citizenship. 

Slow down. What you think is love may simply be the escape from loneliness you feel when she touches you. it is completely natural, but not a good basis for a long-term relationship. I would tell you this if she lived around the block, but having to marry her just to get her a VISA makes this way too risky. Prenup or not, you could find yourself in a heap of hurt.


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## kitty2013 (Dec 6, 2013)

I always like older man my whole life, but 26 years is a huge difference. 

If you love her, please considering this: 

How long can you satisfy her sexually? 
Is she mature enough to know what she wants? 
Was she abused in the past? Is she insecure? poverty? 
People will often look down on her for marrying to an older man (gold digger + want to come to US) , it is not an easy feeling. 
It would be a challenge for you to obtain K1 visa for her with the age difference. 
She will miss out life a lot being with a man as old as her dad. She will be resentful someday unless there is true love between you and her. Are you sure the feeling between you and her are true love? 
Where is she coming from?


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

fetishwife said:


> Well Guys,
> 
> I got divorced and now Im engaged to a 21 year old. Im a youthful 47.
> 
> ...


OP, I know this world well and if it were me as long as there was a prenup that capped her settlement at 50K I would be fine with it. 

Or had a time limit attached to it like 15 years lol!! Women from other countries are very different, if this was a US woman I would say she is gone in 5 years.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Sorry but I'm going to go with the majority here. She's a kid. Are you the same person you were at 21? I personally changed drastically between 21 and 30 years old. I literally wasn't the same person. Sorry, but I think you'd do better with someone who is at least with 10 years of your age. You will have about the same amount of life experiences under your belt. Just my opinion.


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## Gomerpyle (Dec 27, 2013)

fetishwife said:


> I can't discuss this with her of course as any time Ive tried it comes across as me:
> 1. Not trusting her
> 2. Being weak and fearful
> 3. Not having faith in our relationship


All true. 

No guts, no glory. You're going to hear anecdotes going both ways: people it worked out for and people who crashed and burned.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Gomerpyle said:


> All true.
> 
> No guts, no glory. You're going to hear anecdotes going both ways: people it worked out for and people who crashed and burned.


This married for green card or visa is not normally a positive outcome. If its eastern european nations isnt it a.high rate of failure? Do you really want to take a risk like this? Id say date her.but dont be thinking about marriage for at least five years. Do you really want to date someone where you bear the full burden of going to them at your expense? If you like younger maybe you could find someone over thirty.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Lacking statistics, I only have anecdotal evidence. A very good friend from eastern Europe was visiting the US when she was 19, met and married a man 30 years older. Perhaps a green card factored in, but they were financially poor but very happy in their marriage for 10 years until he died of surgical complications.

She is now in a serious relationship with a man only 20 years older than her. I know her well enough to know there are no psychological issues or ulterior motives - she simply likes older men.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

It's so unbelievably unlikely this will work out. 21? She's a child compared to you.

I'm 41 and I am so glad I'm not married to a 67 year old. I suppose it might be okay for you for a while, but yeah, I'd say she'll leave.

And divorced in June? Are you insane?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

fetishwife said:


> Well Guys,
> 
> I got divorced and now Im engaged to a 21 year old. Im a youthful 47.


That's a whooping 27 years older than this young lady.
So here's some extrapolation.
In 13 years , you would be 60, and she ,34.
Both you and I know that women peak sexually at around 35 - 50.
When she's 45 and her hormones start running wild you'd be 72
How do you plan to handle that?


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

Lyris said:


> Are you insane?


I lyrked you for ending your post with my all-time favourite question.

BTW that didn't sound like an angel. Angels are all men, same as God and Jesus. the Holy Ghost knocked up Mary, so he's a fella also.


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## Gomerpyle (Dec 27, 2013)

treyvion said:


> This married for green card or visa is not normally a positive outcome.


I noticed no evidence with that bald assertion. The Mayflower passengers came for green cards too but we don't denigrate them with that terminology. We call it liberty for them. For marriage in general all of us do it to improve our lives but whenever we want to hypocritically frame it as evil we use this kind of derogatory language. 

I also know by experience this is something that you can only ask of people who have done immigration for marriage and there are sites that specialize in it. This is not the place you want to be for that kind of discussion. It's not quite as bad as going to a skinhead board to ask about inter-racial marriage but it serves the point that you need to choose your forum wisely.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

I saw nothing inflammatory in this post:

"This married for green card or visa is not normally a positive outcome. If its eastern european nations isnt it a.high rate of failure? Do you really want to take a risk like this? Id say date her.but dont be thinking about marriage for at least five years. Do you really want to date someone where you bear the full burden of going to them at your expense? If you like younger maybe you could find someone over thirty."

In the end was even a concession, that if he really wanted a girl from over there, why not one closer to his age? Reasonable!

Compare it to the angry response:



Gomerpyle said:


> I noticed no evidence with that *bald assertion*. The Mayflower passengers came for green cards too but we don't *denigrate *them with that terminology. We call it liberty for them. For marriage in general all of us do it to improve our lives but whenever we want to *hypocritically *frame it as *evil *we use this kind of *derogatory *language.
> 
> I also know by experience this is something that you can only ask of people who have done immigration for marriage and there are sites that specialize in it. This is not the place you want to be for that kind of discussion. It's not quite as bad as going to a *skinhead *board to ask about inter-racial marriage but it serves the point that you need to *choose your forum wisely*.


Plenty of people go into marriage for the green card, and the US specifically makes it very difficult to get one if you come from certain countries, such as Poland or the Ukraine. 

It's a sore point in Poland, because they foolishly thought they had a 'special relationship' with the US.

Precisely because it is hard to get a green card based on good qualifications - which they have in abundance in former Soviet countries - they have to dumb down and use the marriage route. Just a fact, hombre!


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## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

Lyris said:


> Are you insane?


Insane In The Brain - YouTube


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

*We have been together now for 7 months. Let me add she is foreign and in order to continue the relationship I have to marry her in order to obtain a USA Visa for her….I have to work in USA and she lives 8000 miles away so its either*

This, to me, is the biggest red flag.

Not to mention you are JUST recently divorced and much older. 

You say you "have" to marry her. No, you don't. Did she tell you that?

Look, I am all for love and love stories but my immediate response to your post when I read that part was, she is marrying you for residency/citizenship. And as soon as she gets it, she will be gone like magic...perhaps with a man her own age.

At 21... I was playing beer bong with my sorority sisters and dating guys my own age in college. I could not fathom a relationship...a serious one. Especially with an older man such as you. That was about ten years ago and just recently I went out with a man your age and I felt like he thought I was too young for him... just saying.


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## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

I agree with Bellyjeans. Listen to her OP.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

CouldItBeSo said:


> I agree with *Bellyjeans*. Listen to her OP.


:smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

"Danger Will Robinson...Danger"


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Gomerpyle said:


> I noticed no evidence with that bald assertion. The Mayflower passengers came for green cards too but we don't denigrate them with that terminology. We call it liberty for them. For marriage in general all of us do it to improve our lives but whenever we want to hypocritically frame it as evil we use this kind of derogatory language.
> 
> I also know by experience this is something that you can only ask of people who have done immigration for marriage and there are sites that specialize in it. This is not the place you want to be for that kind of discussion. It's not quite as bad as going to a skinhead board to ask about inter-racial marriage but it serves the point that you need to choose your forum wisely.


I have no problem with green cards or immigrants, it was the particular situation of married for green card or cisa has a high failure rate.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Sandfly said:


> I lyrked you for ending your post with my all-time favourite question.
> 
> BTW that didn't sound like an angel. Angels are all men, same as God and Jesus. the Holy Ghost knocked up Mary, so he's a fella also.


Well it's either an angel or a pixie.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

CouldItBeSo said:


> Insane In The Brain - YouTube


I love this song.:smthumbup:


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

No I "have to" marry her due to USA immigration law…

You get 90 days on the Visa...…..after that she would be overstaying if not married and would be an illegal alien...

...unless I wish to continue a long distance relationship….and I do not want that its very uncomfortable even though I could afford to do it.


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Anyway….very nice range of responses and mostly reasonable…some very well thought out and others emotional, and others seem based on media horror stories or stereotypes.

I have no doubts about her love for me or physical/emotional/sexual attraction to me. 

We both generally have no sexual dysfunctions (I became an expert on that with my ex) and we both have moderate to high sex drive.

I do take T shots and I don't see any reason given that for my drive or abilities to satisfy (as some suggested) to drop off with age as it has in the past prior to available treatments.

Not every 45 year old woman becomes a sex maniac by the way…..although my ex finally "discovered" sex around that age….her drive was still low most days and highly dependent upon my behavior and mood.

I don't look my age, no one seems to think our photos look like we are mismatched, perhaps she looks a little older than her age and I look a little younger.

She had no particular desire to move to the US prior to meeting me…although I know she has a desire to travel the world (as do I) and she does see the green card as a means to that particular end.

She has a strong desire to work and an ego that seems to push her to want to have some autonomy.

On the other hand I don't boss her around or treat her like a daughter….we can be partners on an equal basis because I don't feel that I know everything by virtue of being older, nor do I feel my life is over and Ive accomplished everything….and I feel there is more to build. Its up to her really.

She has a strong attachment to her mother and two brothers, and has acted somewhat like a parent to the brothers…..this has been a concern for me on occasion, but when we are away, which is most of the time, she lets go of them. She has no particular attachment to the US other than to me, and she would be totally alone if her goal was simply to marry me for a green card….to what end? To start a new life as an American with no family and a new culture…to find a hot guy her own age who also has means to take care of her so she can sit around..?

there are "hot young guys" available to her locally for play time..although perhaps not for financial support or marriage…but hey why would a 21 year old want that anyway? She has no need to engage in a false marriage to move to a foreign country to find them.

She is not the type to go out to clubs and bars…and does not drink or engage in substance use. 

From day one she was clear and honest with me about her desire to support her family..this is cultural…I was aware of that and its not a financial problem for me….although it bothered me for a while and I do often think about it….why do I want to support someone? Well my ex made a lot of money and that didn't make our personal relationship better either… Lots of people support their spouses so I don't see that as a definite no…just a real issue to ponder.

No one knows the future…..she is happy with me today…but some posters are correct and have stated what are also concerns to me…..what happens as time passes and I age faster than her due to the facts of human life…..will it happen that way…? Will fate intervene….anything could happen…she could get sick….and I could end up talking care of her..who knows..

It was a dumb question to pose I suppose and I got the answers I expected.

I think its ok to proceed with the caveat that a prenuptial agreement is required.

If she refuses it or can't even comprehend it in a mature fashion then Ill have my answer.

If she agrees to it, then it will protect me to some degree although certainly not fully…and children would be a complex burden.

Im sure the ethics of a secret vasectomy are not good ones….


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

fetishwife said:


> No I "have to" marry her due to USA immigration law…



No, you don't. You don't have to do anything. 

Also, what is this about "secret vasectomy?" It's always good to be honest in relationships.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

The prenup is a must.Make sure it's a good one done WELL BEFORE THE MARRIAGE! If it's done too close to the date of marriage she can use the loophole that she was tricked or coerced into signing it possibly.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fetish, congrats on your divorce....that was mighty fast! I remember your posts and what concerns me the most about this new relationship is that you had a difficult time with your personal boundaries. I remember thinking that you seemed far too willing to extend yourself and accept what most others would find unacceptable.

While I am happy for you, I remain concerned that it is far too soon and that the long distance nature has led you to feel a fit when a true fit can yet be determined.

If you proceed, I URGE a strong prenuptial, along with conversations about what you expect from a wife and what you expect to provide, not just financially, as a husband.

Best of luck and I'm very glad to hear you are moving on so well!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> While I am happy for you, I remain concerned that it is far too soon and that the long distance nature has led you to feel a fit when a true fit can yet be determined.
> 
> If you proceed, I URGE a strong prenuptial


Agreed. You can't really know someone after seeing them a handful of times on "vacation/travel." 

You are only seeing them in a vacuum. It's not real life, like living day to day with someone.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Though not married to a foreign national, I am married to someone 28 years younger (on 3rd year of marriage). Our physical relationship is great but we both know father time will catch up to me and realize that will impact the physical ways we relate. Don't fool yourselves on that one.
What guy wouldn't be enamored of a 21 year old professing and expressing her desire for him?

My young wife and I would be together even if my old faithful shooter never rose to fire another shot. And IMHO the spouse or spouse-to-be should always be in on the decision to have the snip so all the husband fires are blanks. Did I mention my 28 year younger young wife is pregnant? A mutual and agreeable outcome for us but each situation and relationship is different.

Let the organ between your ears make the decisions here not the organ between your legs.


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> No, you don't. You don't have to do anything.
> 
> Also, what is this about "secret vasectomy?" It's always good to be honest in relationships.


I know I don't have to do anything...what I meant is for her to stay in the USA past 
90 days on the k1 visa the law is that you have to get married in 90 days.

I was joking about the secret vasectomy of course
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Fetish, congrats on your divorce....that was mighty fast! I remember your posts and what concerns me the most about this new relationship is that you had a difficult time with your personal boundaries. I remember thinking that you seemed far too willing to extend yourself and accept what most others would find unacceptable.
> 
> While I am happy for you, I remain concerned that it is far too soon and that the long distance nature has led you to feel a fit when a true fit can yet be determined.
> 
> ...



thanks for that well though out and caring reply ... I hear you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Maneo said:


> Though not married to a foreign national, I am married to someone 28 years younger (on 3rd year of marriage). Our physical relationship is great but we both know father time will catch up to me and realize that will impact the physical ways we relate. Don't fool yourselves on that one.
> What guy wouldn't be enamored of a 21 year old professing and expressing her desire for him?
> 
> My young wife and I would be together even if my old faithful shooter never rose to fire another shot. And IMHO the spouse or spouse-to-be should always be in on the decision to have the snip so all the husband fires are blanks. Did I mention my 28 year younger young wife is pregnant? A mutual and agreeable outcome for us but each situation and relationship is different.
> ...



Thanks for that....good new story!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Well right now we are having some serious trouble getting the visa anyway...

It may be that I retire for a while to this foreign country where life is cheap enough 
For me to do so....and the sexual politics are such that I will remain in the drivers
Seat due to the large supply of women relative to my home planet.

maybe that will have the best chance of keeping the marriage together .... Don't 
Bring her out of here at all.....or just don't get married just live with her here.

I have a business I would have to give up but I'm tired of it.....I'm 47 and ready for 
A new life anyway.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

Your user name is a bit confusing since obviously you're a male.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

fetishwife said:


> Well right now we are having some serious trouble getting the visa anyway...
> 
> It may be that I retire for a while to this foreign country where life is cheap enough
> For me to do so....and the sexual politics are such that I will remain in the drivers
> ...


This^^^sounds like a much " safer " plan.
But always protect yourself.

I'm guessing that this is a Thai of a Filipino girl?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

fetishwife said:


> Well right now we are having some serious trouble getting the visa anyway...
> 
> It may be that I retire for a while to this foreign country where life is cheap enough
> For me to do so....and the sexual politics are such that I will remain in the drivers
> ...


Very smart, especially if this arrangement is more widely accepted in those cultures. Bring her over here and you run the risk of her becoming Americanized, and turning on you.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

47 yr old man, divorced ex-wife 7 months ago AND met someone new 7 months ago, is now engaged to her, and she's only 21 and foreign? 

Is that correct?

What exactly is the rush to walk down the aisle again? 

You should chill on the marriage a bit...seriously dude, WTH? 
At 7 months you barely know this 21 yr old foreigner. You're asking for trouble.

Some great advice has already been given, I'm just a bit stunned at these finer details here, mainly the timeline.


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## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

Don't take this the wrong way but it kind of sounds like you are talking about a property instead of a SO... ('large supply of women', 'don't bring her out of here')


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

tulsy said:


> 47 yr old man, divorced ex-wife 7 months ago AND met someone new 7 months ago, is now engaged to her, and she's only 21 and foreign?
> 
> Is that correct?
> 
> ...


I agree, I wouldn't worry about "marriage" on paper. Have fun and enjoy his life, he sounds like he's open for some life changing, enjoyable experiences and I'm all for it.

He can treat her like a great girlfriend, I wouldn't be trying to marry her. Way too soon, no matter who it is.


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## Gomerpyle (Dec 27, 2013)

fetishwife said:


> Well right now we are having some serious trouble getting the visa anyway...
> 
> It may be that I retire for a while to this foreign country where life is cheap enough
> For me to do so....and the sexual politics are such that I will remain in the drivers
> ...


This forum is worse than a waste of time for you. Go to VisaJourney - Your US Immigration Community 

They have subfora dedicated to each region of the world with real-time data on processing times, reviews of embassy interviews, surveys, visa tips, scammer detection strategies, etc.

Whatever trouble you are having with the visa, go on that site and ask for counsel. 

It isn't worth responding to the misinformation and negative stereotyping here.


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Well its been almost 2 years since I first started this thread and we are married and stay together all of the time. Together since mid 2013.

I think all the comments here were true in their own way. But every couple is different so in the end peoples opinions one way or another are not that relevant.

My wife is now 23 and I am 49. 

We do have an "unusual" relationship in that we stay together all the time. 

We work together in my office. She gets on well with my staff (all females also) We drive to work together (one car), we shop together. We recreate together. We relax together. The only times we are apart is during exercise (home gym) and going to the bathroom lol. Neither of us are party people. We don't stay out late or go to bars. In general we only have a few couples as friends, but I think we will socialize more over time.

This is by mutual choice. Im not controlling her. She is free to go shopping or spa or whatever alone but she prefers to stay together most of the time. However, hair or nail appointments.... Im not attending those! I also prefer to pass on womens clothes shopping ... thank you very much.

We are both on the jealous side, although her more than me for sure. Its not pathological though...but there are some remaining controlling, possessive components...but we are married after all. Some of that is life as a couple. One does give up some freedom in marriage.

Its the opposite of the prior life with my ex where I was alone most of the time.

Its not perfect, we still have fights sometimes. She can be selfish and immature, but I work with her on that and also try to see my faults.

We are well off which surely helps since we don't argue much about money.

She is not pushing for children and I don't know how that will end up. However, I am basically infertile at the moment due to T shots I have a very low sperm count so even without much attempt at BC no pregnancy after 2.5 years of almost daily sex. I would need to take bHCG shots to raise my count enough to have children. 

The future as I get old...who knows. Do I worry? Of course.

For the moment there are Test shots and Cialis which both agree with my health anyway...so that helps.

As far as sex drive goes we are well matched so far. We all know that can change, but Im an advocate of better living through chemistry when possible.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

2 years and still going good is the start of a great relationship story. 20 years will be the long term success story. And many marriages with no age difference don't last as long as yours. 

As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I just turned 64 and my wife of 4 years is 36. We have a rambunctious 18 month old to keep us busy. We are very happy. 

Still, I dare say the statistics will show that both our relationships are anomalies in the marriage game. That doesn't mean one should avoid age difference relationships but you need to go into it eyes wide open and be prepared to do the extra work to make it successful. 

I do love when people make the natural mistake of assuming I am her dad and our toddler is my grandson. That pregnant pause when I correct the error is always a fun moment.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

fetishwife said:


> Well Guys,
> 
> I got divorced and now Im engaged to a 21 year old. Im a youthful 47.
> 
> ...


I know of no purer truth. I can add nothing.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Maneo said:


> 2 years and still going good is the start of a great relationship story. 20 years will be the long term success story. And many marriages with no age difference don't last as long as yours.
> 
> As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I just turned 64 and my wife of 4 years is 36. We have a rambunctious 18 month old to keep us busy. We are very happy.
> 
> ...


This must be similar to what Woodstock was like, man. Far out. If Hendrix were here, he'd be giving you the soul shake.

Keep on truckin'.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Do you have kids you want to leave money to? If not, bang away....I am pushing 70, daily sex is not an issue....Women usually drop off at about 45-50....You are 47, in 20 years she will be 41 and on the downhill sexually, you will be 67....You could both crap out together...If it blows up in 5 years, you still have something to look back on...


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