# Advice on Next move Please help



## insomnia255 (Dec 4, 2011)

As the regulars on here will know that about 4 weeks ago my wife serperated and moved into her sisters place. Reasons why she seperated were due to emotional and verbal abuse i was giving her due to stress i had with work and not spending any time with her and other things generally. 

when my wife went i did carry out the desperation pleas and lots of emails and text messages she then emailed me and asked me not to contact her and to give her space and for me to contact her in the new year.

Here is the message she sent me 

"" This is a firm request for you to stop contacting me for some time. I need space and the fact that you are texting and emailing me all the time is irritating me and not allowing me space. Look, I won't hold it against you that you are not emailing or texting me, I am asking you to please give me some space away from you for some time. Contact me in the new year, ok.

>>>> 
>>>> I am no fool, I know that we cannot work on our marriage till I talk to you and we go therapy together etc but right now I need some time away from you completely, for myself. I have seen a counsellor and have been told that I don't need to see anyone at the moment . What she said I need is time to myself to think things through. Talk to your therapist about this if you wish to.
>>>> 
>>>> Please, give me some time away from you.

>>>> I will hear from you in the new year. All the best"


Since then i have been seeing a psychotherapist on my own and have had 8 sessions so far. made lifestyle changes as im self employed i am now only working friendly hours 8-6pm and not working weekends. going to the gym and have dropped about 2 stone (10KG). i feel that the stress issues i was suffering which my wife was at the brunt of are now being addressed and i am making progress.

The new year has come and i know she has family down from canada and her sister is pregnant and her baby is due in the next 10 days which makes me think that she is preoccupied at the moment. 

So she said for me to contact her in the new year which is now, so how should i go about it, send her an email or text. I havent sent her a happy new years message yet someone said wait till 3rd of jan then contact her. 

There are some articles i read on Divorce Busting® - Relationship Advice - Marriage Problems Solutions

which i would like my wife to read before she comes to any decision about our marriage i was thinking to send her a new years message and ask her to read the articles before she makes a decision.

any thoughts ?


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

I suppose being self employed is stressful and you took it out on your wife. Is she not part of your business or does she have her own or none at all. She wants it both ways a good living which I hope you make and no stress. If she separates or divorces from you what will she live on.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

If I was you, I'd send a happy new year message, but wait for her to bring up the relationship issues. Give her a chance to come to you on that. Jumping right back into her face about fixing things immediately will set you back to where you were before.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## insomnia255 (Dec 4, 2011)

she has her own job and own career she works 9-5. But as i am running my own business sometimes i have to work weekends and long hours to meet deadlines. its been really stressfull for past year and i wasnt able to spend time with her and we were arguing constantly.
But now she has seperated i have realised that i do need counselling as i have a problem with coping with stress. i am feeling good since going to a counsellor and now want to work to fix my marriage. I just now would like advice on how i should proceed


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

I suppose its like I wrote. She has her own life and cant see why yours should cause you stress that rebounds on her. How long have your problems been. Since you started on your own or when.


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## insomnia255 (Dec 4, 2011)

i am ex military so i have had issues, for example having a too regimented life style and making work prioity rather then my marriage.


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## insomnia255 (Dec 4, 2011)

I have sent my wife a short text message wishing her a happy new year a few moments ago. i couldnt help going on facebook and looking at the comment she posted:

New year... New me  with Gods help things will be great! 

I dont really know what she means by that, again im over analysing whether she throwing in the towel and getting on with her life or ?? i dont really know untill i there is dialouge between us. But she hasnt yet replied to me. i know she has her parents down and family down from canada so i can only assume sending me a text back is not a prioity for her at the moment. 

Any advice from any women at all, on what this could mean. she said to be in the email which i got on the 10th of december for me to give her space and contact her in the new year. I suppose i am getting impatient and me being the desperate one who wants to work on my marriage asap. 
what if in a weeks time i dont hear anything back from her shall i send her an email or try to call her ?


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## zsu234 (Oct 25, 2010)

Find the boyfriend and you will have your answers.


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