# Tips for Respecting Family Boundaries After a Divorce



## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

Divorce is never easy, but it becomes even more difficult when you’ve developed a relationship with your ex’s family. Not only are you losing a partner, but you’re losing an entire support system and, depending how close you were, a group of friends. Just because you’re getting divorced from your spouse doesn’t meant that you have to immediate sever all times with your ex’s family, but you do need to learn how to respect family boundaries. 

*Tips for Creating Boundaries with an Ex*

Getting a divorce can be complicated, especially if you still care about your ex. It is important for both of you, however, to set boundaries so you can both heal and more forward with your lives. 
The first step is to accept that your relationship is over and to stop living in the past. It’s time to start rebuilding yourself and your life as an individual and re-learning what makes you you. Make sure that your home is your own personal space and try to keep as many aspects of your life separate as possible. If children are involved, you’ll need to maintain communication but try to speak respectfully to each other and keep your conversations to the point. 

*Rules for Keeping in Touch with Your Ex’s Family*

When you and your spouse divorce, you don’t need to immediately delete every number associated with them from your phone. Many people choose to sever ties with an ex’s family because the alternative is simply too complicated, but if you’ve developed a real bond with your ex’s parents or siblings, that may not be an option. 

Here are some rules to follow when keeping in touch with your ex’s family: 



Talk to your ex about it first. If your relationship with your ex’s family is very important to you, tell your ex that and ask for their approval to stay in touch. 
Have your ex talk to their family. If your ex is okay with you keeping in touch with their family, let them talk to the family about it to get their feelings on the matter. 
Set boundaries with both parties. If everyone wants to stay in touch, start talking about what that’s going to look like. Will you spend time alone with your ex’s family or hang around the family home? Will you spend holidays together? 
Be respectful toward your ex. Even if you choose to maintain contact with your ex’s family, you still need to be respectful of their feelings and don’t introduce new partners to the family. 
Know when to step back. Life goes on after a divorce, so when you and your ex start seeing other people, you may want to start taking a step back from their family as well.

Relationships are complicated – there is no changing that. When you and your ex get divorced, you’re bound to have plenty of challenges to deal with. Deciding how to handle family relationships is one of those challenges, so do yourself a favor and start the conversation early before it becomes an issue.

VS Glen, Community Support


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