# Would love advice from everyone



## dynomite_guy (Nov 21, 2010)

I have been married for 2 months. I already basically cheated on my wife, and tried to lie to her face. She pretended to be someone else and set up a trap for me. I admit being at fault for falling for it. But she kept it going for 2 weeks and is mad at me for it. During this time I received fellato from a stranger, and she knew about it but I didn't admit it and lied about it. She went home and suddenly says she wants a divorce, but pretended everything was ok while she was with me. She will still talk to me, and we have had some serious conversations. All the truth has been told. She doesn't sound like she wants to work things out, but of course I do. She has mailed divorce papers to me. If if anyone has any ideas that can show her I really am sorry. I hate knowing I hurt her the way I did, and never want to hear or see her hurt again. She says she doesn't want to be married and doesn't trust me. Any advice would be appreciate.


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## crazyinlove (Nov 20, 2010)

Oh dynomite guy, Just the username tells me that your trousers are ruling your mind.
As lovely as a harem would be , my love , You can't expect your wife, yes YOUR NEW WIFE!!!!! to put up with your tom cat libido.
set the poor lady free and go on out and be true to yourself sexually and as a person.

Dont keep her in this unfair situation because it suits you . No judgement, but please have safe sex dynomite guy as the bugs these days are as uninhibited as you, ;;;;;;;;


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## dynomite_guy (Nov 21, 2010)

crazyinlove said:


> Oh dynomite guy, Just the username tells me that your trousers are ruling your mind.
> As lovely as a harem would be , my love , You can't expect your wife, yes YOUR NEW WIFE!!!!! to put up with your tom cat libido.
> set the poor lady free and go on out and be true to yourself sexually and as a person.
> 
> Dont keep her in this unfair situation because it suits you . No judgement, but please have safe sex dynomite guy as the bugs these days are as uninhibited as you, ;;;;;;;;


i appreciate your thought, good job judging a person from a username and not their personality. We actually been dating long distance 2 years and nothing ever happened during that time. I'm asking for advice on possibly keeping her, not giving up.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Sorry does not cut it, your actions together with words will prove differently.

Go to your wife and speak with her face to face, be sincere in what you are proposing. What I don't know from the little you wrote is her side of the story. She had a reason to mistrust you WHY?

You have to give your everything to her, sit with her and ask her to write down a list of requirements to save the marriage then assess what you can do.

I do question, if she loves you and she has filled for divorce so quickly there must be more than meets the eye or she is not in love with you and your actions have galvanized her into serving.


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## dynomite_guy (Nov 21, 2010)

Eli-Zor said:


> Sorry does not cut it, your actions together with words will prove differently.
> 
> Go to your wife and speak with her face to face, be sincere in what you are proposing. What I don't know from the little you wrote is her side of the story. She had a reason to mistrust you WHY?
> 
> ...


I know you are right. I really would love to talk with her face to face, but distance and work won't allow it unless she comes here to me (1500 miles away). I asked her, what was her reason for mistrusting me, and I'm yet to recieve an answer. I don't wanna jump the gun, but I really believe I am ready give her my everything. Thank you very much.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

If you want your marriage go to her, This in itself is the single biggest action you can display to her that you want to remain married.


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## dynomite_guy (Nov 21, 2010)

I really want to, army regulations and stuff prevent me now, I'll just have to find some way around it.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

If you have been served there should be a way of returning home, I am sure there is a regulation or two that enables you to go home to sort this out.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

dynomite_guy said:


> I'm asking for advice on possibly keeping her, not giving up.


She caught you red-handed, you've had some serious conversations about it and she has mailed divorce papers to you?


I'm sorry I have no other answer for you...


Beg, son, beg.




Thank you for your service to the country.


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## OldTex (Nov 14, 2010)

chefmaster said:


> She caught you red-handed, you've had some serious conversations about it and she has mailed divorce papers to you?
> 
> 
> I'm sorry I have no other answer for you...
> ...


First as a vetern, Thank you for your service
I agree. However, and I may be wrong I feel your looking for ways to get her back and keep up your affairs without her knowing about them. First thing you need to do is to look inside yourself and figure out what you want. Do you want to fool around or be married and faithful to your wife. I get the feeling you want both. Untill She see's a change in you. You are fixing to be single. Aways remember you reap what you sow. Good Luck to you. Stay safe


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## dynomite_guy (Nov 21, 2010)

OldTex said:


> First as a vetern, Thank you for your service
> I agree. However, and I may be wrong I feel your looking for ways to get her back and keep up your affairs without her knowing about them. First thing you need to do is to look inside yourself and figure out what you want. Do you want to fool around or be married and faithful to your wife. I get the feeling you want both. Untill She see's a change in you. You are fixing to be single. Aways remember you reap what you sow. Good Luck to you. Stay safe



No I don't want the affair to continue, it actually was a one time thing. It never was a constant ongoing thing.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Start by composing a letter to her, stating how you feel and offering your sincerest apologies. Let her know you will answer all questions and be completely transparent in all your methods of communications, she can have access to all passwords and records. 

A warning to yourself, this is not advice so you can be insincere with her it, this is a marriage site and the concepts are to protect the marriage.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Well, here is gonna be your problem. You say its been long distance the whole time, so she has no reason to believe that you have ever been faithful. That is gonna be the hurdle in your road to recovery. 

We are military too, I know there are several different reasons for being long distance, but can you answer what yours is? Deployment, she's attending college, etc??

Being open with your passwords and cell records will help, but any time things come into question you might risk starting back at the bottom and having to rebuild trust all over again. Does that make sense??


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

You are going to come in for a lot of flak on this site I am afraid. There are a lot of people on this forum who feel that if you are not a victim you don't have the right to be here. Try to ignore the attacks and focus on the odd gems of great advice you will get.

In my opinion you have to commit to counselling, with her or on your own, to work through your problem, and it is a problem, to show you are committed to changing.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Get a divorce and learn from this!!


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Tell her the truth and let the chips fall where they fall. At least you've told the truth and if she leaves you don't have to live with a lie anymore. And hopefully you learn from this experience whichever way you both end up.


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