# What I plan to do about it... Hypnosis.



## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

My story is just like a bunch of other people on here, 
so I will make it short:
great sex, great blow jobs.
got married,
blow jobs stopped,
had a kid,
the sex stopped.

My wife told me she never wanted to have sex again ever. About that time I had some medical problems and went to the doctor.
I noticed when I asked for sex she got mad, but when the doctor said I needed to get some sleep for my condition to improve. I told my wife that the doctor recommended I have sex to help me sleep. She looked at the doctor as an authority figure and it basically worked. I am super simplifying it, the process took months. But now I get sex every night to help me sleep like the doctor ordered (more or less), and it has become a routine so it's not something we fight about anymore.

This worked for many years, then she started trying to make the sex so bad that I would not want it, and she started doing other things to cause problems with our marriage. It got to the point where I didn't want our kid to be exposed to the yelling and other things she was doing.

So one day I bought a ticket to Thailand for two weeks, I told her I was going on vacation and I left. She was really pissed off when I left. 

Thailand was the perfect choice because there is nothing like a bunch of super hot girls in their 20's who want to marry you to really boost the confidence of an old guy. I really had gone there to pick out a replacement, which would have been very easy to do.

But to my shock two weeks later when I returned my wife was a different person, she was nice to me and almost a little respectful and really worried I had met someone while I was there.

I must disclose that I do an insane amount of stuff for my wife, I always have and she has always taken it for granted. So when I left her lifestyle took a really really big hit, and she started really getting worried I was going to leave for good.

So now she really does not like having sex but she will do a little bit over the minimum without complaining about it.

But I know that will only last for a while, so at some point we are going to start working our way back to where we were.

To solve (or at least postpone) this problem, I am thinking about one of two different approaches:

1. use the little bit of power I currently have to ask her to go see a professional hypnotist and see what they can do to improve her sex drive.

2. my wife is a really deep sleeper, so I am thinking about trying to give her suggestions in her sleep to increase her sex drive.

I have been searching the internet (and this site) and there is not much information on hypnotizing someone to increase their sex drive. 

But if anyone has any information on it, I would love to hear. 
If not I will report back on my results. This is all new territory for me, so I would be open to any advice or suggestions.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Subliminal tapes. Google it.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Oh brother.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Since she values authority figures so much, Google info on the following.

Having sex and the absorbtion of seminal fluids provide a number of both feel-good chemicals/nutrients and others that increase her life expectancy.

Print them out for her to read, and sit next to her looking at holiday brochures and checking your watch.

That'll work better than hypno', cuz that rarely works on people who aren't predisposed to changing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

See if you can get MMSL on audio tape and play it for yourself while you sleep. Oh and maybe NMMNG too.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I know! Just drug her every night and then rape away!


Or you could grow a pair of real man balls, come clean that you have been lying to your wife your entire marriage, went to a third work poverty stricken country to have sex with probably 13 year olds because they start them young when they can't feed the family you know, (not to mention the fact that you're probably lying about how old the girls were) and now you're wondering what other lies and scams you can perpetrate against your wife to get more blow jobs, and instead of lying find out why your wife doesn't want to have sex with you and find out what HER needs are.

Disgusting!


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

Thank you for the No More Mister Nice Guy recommendation, I read the first part and it looks very interesting. 

Pink: Thinking about it your right I guess I did lie to my wife about the doctor part, it was all based on the truth, but I clearly put a spin on it that the doctor didn't. Other than that I have been very honest with her.

On my trip I was looking for someone I might be interested in potentially marrying so I really wasn't interested in anyone under about 25, even though your right there were younger girls interested in me. 

When I talk to my wife about her needs, she just says I should do more for her, if I ask what more could I do? she can't think of anything that I don't already do. The best she has come up with is 5 years ago I should have bought her a bigger present for her birthday, and there is not much I can do about that now.

I could be wrong, but the way I am looking at it is that this might help her to actually enjoy sex more. To me that seems like it would be a win-win situation for both of us.


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

BeenThereBefore said:


> My story is just like a bunch of other people on here,
> so I will make it short:
> great sex, great blow jobs.
> got married,
> ...


Great idea, and it kept both of you happy for years. It removed the block, the argument and I'm going to have to try that one when I go see my therepist and they recommend that I am made love to and often.



BeenThereBefore said:


> This worked for many years, then she started trying to make the sex so bad that I would not want it, and she started doing other things to cause problems with our marriage. It got to the point where I didn't want our kid to be exposed to the yelling and other things she was doing.


Lol. They will do this.



BeenThereBefore said:


> So one day I bought a ticket to Thailand for two weeks, I told her I was going on vacation and I left. She was really pissed off when I left.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Probably made sex to you well and often afterwards. You need to do a similar trip from every six months to a year. You see your wife will give you the minimum possible if she can get away with it. But with a little coaxing she will give you what you need.




BeenThereBefore said:


> I must disclose that I do an insane amount of stuff for my wife, I always have and she has always taken it for granted. So when I left her lifestyle took a really really big hit, and she started really getting worried I was going to leave for good.
> 
> So now she really does not like having sex but she will do a little bit over the minimum without complaining about it.
> 
> ...


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Our Holy Bleeding Mother of Dysfunction.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Oh yes...so loving he's been lying to his wife their whole marriage then takes off to a third world poverty stricken country to buy..I mean find a new bride...before he ditches his first bride. 

Behold the epitome of the most selfish and ignorant of husbands!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Cletus said:


> Our Holy Bleeding Mother of Dysfunction.


That's no joke. there is a shrine to her in Upper Slovenia. i made a pilgrimage there some years ago.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

That's a hell of a lot of money to spend just to get some sex on the side. Hell you could have found a hooker for 20 bucks in your own town and saved a ton of cash but the long and the short of it is this.

If your not happy then move on rather then pulling something like you did. If you have to force your wife to have sex with you so you can sleep, then honestly, you don't have a marriage. This is a joke.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

There are two situations here, and an attitude issue.

First of all, how many LD women lie or mislead to avoid sex? OP is doing the same to obtain it. Given that his wife is willing to participate for his well-being, it can't be all that much of a stretch for her to go along. Not a big issue here, IMO. Not at all a desirable thing, but it's a common reality.

The Thailand sex tourism thing is a completely different and sleazy act of cheating. I don't think there is any way to put a good spin on that!

Finally, OP's attitude overall is lacking in a desire for honesty and good communication, especially given the ends to which he is willing to go to manipulate his wife sexually. That seems to go beyond the usual LD manipuation to avoid sex, but neither are good.


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

My wife tells me monster type lies all the time, there really is not even a way to compare the lies she tells with my lie, so I don't feel bad about it, and we are talking about lies in the 1000's to my one. 

On the Thailand trip, I never said I had sex with anyone, although it's obvious a lot of guys do that, I was just looking to see what my options were, if I decided I was serious about finding a new wife I would divorce my current wife before I started anything with someone new. 

I probably would have ended my marriage a very long time ago, but I think a kid should have two parents, and as long as my wife is not abusive to our kid I will stay in the marriage, plus my wife's lifestyle would take such a hit I would feel guilty about that.

The problem with trying to communicate with her about what she wants, is that I know exactly what she wants, and it is not possible for her to get it because she wants the lifestyle I provide for her without me in the picture.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

BeenThereBefore said:


> On the Thailand trip, *I never said I had sex with anyone,* although it's obvious a lot of guys do that, I was just looking to see what my options were, if I decided I was serious about finding a new wife I would divorce my current wife before I started anything with someone new.


:lol:

Right! And I'm a virgin ...and a princess too ...and also I have a pet unicorn!



> I know exactly what she wants, and it is not possible for her to get it because *she wants the lifestyle I provide for her without me in the picture.*



:rofl: I wonder why?

Damn you're funny!


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Did your wife have orgasms when you (used to) have sex?

Who would willingly give up sharing orgasms with a spouse they love? It's one of the best things in life, right?

Could she join TAM and ask for advice?

It's just hard for me to believe that women lose interest in one of the most enjoyable things that a human can experience.

Maybe having sex is a lot of work for her. What about using a vibrator on her to make sure she O's when you have sex.

Do you know if she masturbates alone (after you go to sleep, in the shower).

Why did she announce one day that she never wanted to have sex again? There *had* to be a precipitating event.


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

intheory said:


> Did your wife have orgasms when you (used to) have sex?


she started off always having them daily, then there was a steady downward progression until they got down to around once every 3 months.



> Who would willingly give up sharing orgasms with a spouse they love? It's one of the best things in life, right?
> 
> Could she join TAM and ask for advice?


She doesn't want any advice, she is pretty happy with everything because she gets her way with everything except she has to have sex and she wants out of that then she would probably think she had the perfect life.
and she doesn't love me.



> It's just hard for me to believe that women lose interest in one of the most enjoyable things that a human can experience.
> 
> Maybe having sex is a lot of work for her. What about using a vibrator on her to make sure she O's when you have sex.


it's no work at all for her, she does nothing. 

She has a long list of rules that I must follow, one of them is I can't touch her in any way to try and make her have an orgasm, a vibrator would be out of the question.



> Do you know if she masturbates alone (after you go to sleep, in the shower).


I am pretty sure she doesn't. She only talks about how much she does not like sex.



> Why did she announce one day that she never wanted to have sex again? There *had* to be a precipitating event.


the only events that I can think of were that we got married, and we had a kid. other than that she basically gets everything she asks for and is not required to do anything other than have sex with me. She has never worked, so she has no stress of any kind.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

You sure seem to know your way around a forum. Where else have you posted your story? You are apparently a pro for being a newbie.

Very incredible story, as well.


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

I just got the idea the other day and joined this forum because I couldn't find much information on the internet, I thought someone might know something that would be helpful to get me started.

The split quote I just noticed someone else doing and thought it looked like a good way to reply to multiple questions.

So this is the first time I have posted anywhere on the internet about it, but hopefully the incredible part still lies ahead. 

So far nothing in the way of results, but I remain optimistic.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

BeenThereBefore said:


> I just got the idea the other day and joined this forum because I couldn't find much information on the internet, I thought someone might know something that would be helpful to get me started.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


And some helpful information has been given here, but it doesn't appear to be what you want to hear.

Counselling. Not lying to your wife. Those are two fantastic starts.

Many of us here have spouses who don't care about sex, or say things like "I can live without it". Your wife has taken that up a notch, and told you she doesn't WANT to have sex anymore.

There's a marked difference between the two. The former is LD (low desire), and is quite common, and sometimes fixable. The latter (your wife) is not the same.

There is a reason she no longer wants sex. It is highly probable that that reason is you, I'm sorry to say. I don't know you, nor does anybody here. But your initial post reeks of selfishness and entitlement. You can still be both of those things and provide for your wife. Doing things around the house doesn't cancel out the negatives.

You may think that you're a model husband and that you've done everything right. But your wife may disagree. That's the reality.

Instead of disappearing for two weeks to scout out your (rather desperate) options of finding a "replacement" (your words), try actually listening to your wife. Not talking to her - listening.

Ask her to be open, honest and BLUNT with you. Prepare to hear things that could attack your manhood and your ego, and react positively.

I don't know what else you're expecting to hear with this, unless you're simply asking strangers to back you up with your less-than-stellar actions.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

"She has a long list of rules that I must follow, one of them is I can't touch her in any way to try and make her have an orgasm..."

that's one of the strangest things I've ever heard.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

jorgegene said:


> "She has a long list of rules that I must follow, one of them is I can't touch her in any way to try and make her have an orgasm..."
> 
> that's one of the strangest things I've ever heard.


Yes indeed. And instead of investigating that to fully comprehend what prompted it, he shakes his head and continues to fool her into spreading her legs on the regular.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> "She has a long list of rules that I must follow, one of them is I can't touch her in any way to try and make her have an orgasm..."
> 
> that's one of the strangest things I've ever heard.


Then add me to the list of purveyors of the strangest things you've heard.

My wife is the same way. For 25 years she couldn't stand to be touched intimately, in any way. Only recently when it's become harder to orgasm through straight up PIV has she allowed some limited touching at the height of arousal to get her over the top. But it is still verboten as part of foreplay. 

Some women don't like to be touched that way, either by you or by themselves, even if they have a perfectly normal sexual response to other things.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Cletus, your wife doesn't have a perfectly normal sexual response. Inhibited and repressed ain't normal even though they're common.


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

jorgegene said:


> "She has a long list of rules that I must follow, one of them is I can't touch her in any way to try and make her have an orgasm..."
> 
> that's one of the strangest things I've ever heard.


He's probably not lying. I know one who had a long list of conditions and this was one of the conditions. I believe it is done for control. He is not allowed to be correlated with physical pleasure.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

AlphaProvider said:


> He's probably not lying. I know one who had a long list of conditions and this was one of the conditions. I believe it is done for control. He is not allowed to be correlated with physical pleasure.


i leave it to the psychoanalysts to untwist that one!

(one preferably trained in the german school of freudian psychoanalysis).


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> :lol:
> 
> Right! And I'm a virgin ...and a princess too ...and also I have a pet unicorn!
> 
> ...


Gah. I've always wanted a unicorn...can't ever find 'em though... 


Op, if your wife has all of these conditions and completely hates sex...oh and you said she doesn't love you....why are you still married? Please don't say for the kids because the manipulation going on here is completely unhealthy for them. Showing them you don't love each other is only teaching them not to love...you'd be doing them a favor if you divorced.


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

I have been reading the book about nice guys, and a lot of what it says applies to me, I have been trying hard to make my relationship sound normal, I guess I do that a lot.
This is really embarrassing for me to say, but the reason I am not divorced is because I ask my kid if they want to pack up and the two of us move away from their mother and so far the answer, after some thought, has always been no.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Honey, you need help. 

Get thee to a therapist!


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

alexm said:


> And some helpful information has been given here, but it doesn't appear to be what you want to hear.
> 
> Counselling. Not lying to your wife. Those are two fantastic starts.


You are right it is not at all what I expected to hear.



> Many of us here have spouses who don't care about sex, or say things like "I can live without it". Your wife has taken that up a notch, and told you she doesn't WANT to have sex anymore.
> 
> There's a marked difference between the two. The former is LD (low desire), and is quite common, and sometimes fixable. The latter (your wife) is not the same.
> 
> There is a reason she no longer wants sex. It is highly probable that that reason is you, I'm sorry to say. I don't know you, nor does anybody here. But your initial post reeks of selfishness and entitlement. You can still be both of those things and provide for your wife. Doing things around the house doesn't cancel out the negatives.


I had absolutely no idea this was going to turn into some kind of psychoanalysis session on me, but since it looks like we are going down that road... what the heck might as well go for it, 
this is all completely new territory for me so who knows I might learn something, 

your comments about my selfishness and entitlement are probably fairly accurate, I can't give you the whole story because no one would believe it, I am living it and I have trouble believing it myself sometimes. 
I will give you a small example to help you understand.
My wife came into our marriage with the clothes she was wearing and a backpack. Now she gets up around noon, I drive her shopping, and then she sits by the pool and reads books, she has taken nine vacations around the world by herself (so my trip was my first attempt at a little payback)
while sitting by the pool she likes for me to bring her chocolates and drinks, the chocolates she demands are not sold in our city so I must drive half a day to a neighboring city to get them. 
If they are out she throws a huge screaming fit that I must suffer though, so I try not to let that happen. 
She does not cook or clean, and I could go on and on, but this will give you a little of the idea.

I could be a saint and do all this for her and expect nothing in return, but I let her get away with everything else but I try to draw the line at sex. Of course she wants to give that up because it's the only thing that she is ever asked to do.



> You may think that you're a model husband and that you've done everything right. But your wife may disagree. That's the reality.


Looking at my situation, I have created a monster that hates me, so clearly I have not done things right.



> Instead of disappearing for two weeks to scout out your (rather desperate) options of finding a "replacement" (your words), try actually listening to your wife. Not talking to her - listening.
> 
> Ask her to be open, honest and BLUNT with you. Prepare to hear things that could attack your manhood and your ego, and react positively.


I know what she would say, she wants all the things I do for her, but somehow she wants it without me around. maybe bring the chocolates when she is not looking or something. 

She hates it that I drive her around, so I hired someone to drive her and she hated that even more. So it's a constant battle to find the things that she hates the least.



> I don't know what else you're expecting to hear with this, unless you're simply asking strangers to back you up with your less-than-stellar actions.


that's what I was kind of hoping for, maybe some ideas of what I could to get get a little more out of her, 
but it looks like the cat is out of the bag at this point. 
Now I am just kind of really looking at my situation for the first time wondering how could I have let this spin so horribly out of control.
And feeling kind of pathetic that I don't even have anyone to blame but myself.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

How do you know hypnosis will work? 

And that she won't fall for him? 

So what does she do on these trips without you?

Why are you married if you do not like spending time together?


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

I am 50 my wife is 40.

I don't have any idea if hypnosis would work I know almost nothing about it, 
there was a hypnotist who told this woman anytime he shook her hand she would have an orgasm, then he shook her hand and she had a bunch of orgasms. 
I thought that was pretty cool, if I could get my wife to do that maybe she would not dislike me so much.

On the trips she usually brings some of her family or friends, I know everything they do because I get all the bills, one time she went to a hooka bar with a girl friend from Austria, I know it was the friends idea. Other than that one time, they go to the spa, and restaurants, and some shows, stuff like that. 
If it is anything out of the ordinary like a sold out show, where the tickets are really hard to get, she always calls and asks first. 

We are married because our kid wants her to stay, and I would feel guilty because she has no place to go and no way to take care of herself.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Dude, you're looking for the easy solution. Good luck, but I doubt you'll find it. 

C


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Lots of stuff going on here. 

For a start....begin to slow the flow of cash and princess treatment. Slowly is the key. 

Then...she needs a damn job


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

I know I have tried many other things to manipulate her, but for some reason I feel using money to do it is not right,
I knew she didn't have any money when we got married, and I guess I felt I couldn't ask her to change that after we were married. 
So we have never talked about money. 

The only things I do are things that she doesn't even notice, for example, when she first started shopping I would go into the store with her and carry her bags for her. Then after a while when we were not getting along, I realized that if I was carrying all the bags then she could buy a lot more stuff. So I started waiting in the car and told her I didn't feel like walking around. So the amount she bought instantly was cut by more than 50% because she didn't want to shop any more once she had too many bags to carry around.

But now that I think about it, I do try to manipulate her with other stuff and that doesn't bother me, so why should using money bother me?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Cletus, your wife doesn't have a perfectly normal sexual response. Inhibited and repressed ain't normal even though they're common.


Actually, I think she has a perfectly normal sexual response. She's more orgasmic than a lot of you women around here. She'll watch any Channing Tatum movie. 

No doubt she's more repressed than most, but for me to label something as "not normal", it has to be abnormal by definition, and by that I don't mean just way out on the tails of the distribution. 

The problem is once you decide that something is truly abnormal, you automatically presume that it is morally acceptable to try to fix it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Exactly Cletus. She is not asexual, you know this because of her sexual response. She is in all other respects a loving, generous and caring wife, mother, and friend. So we know she is not selfish and uncaring. So why does a loving and generous woman who is easily orgasmic place such restrictions on what can be touched and how it can be touched during sex? Why does this woman refuse to engage in sexual activity considered to be exceptionally normal and regular for 99% of the easily orgasmic population and 70% normal for the not so easily orgasmic population? (Know that I pulled those numbers out of my ass and I'm just guessing at what they might be) and lastly, a well read woman who has not being living in an informational vacuum who absolutely refuses any sort of variation from her sexual routine or any freeing from her sexual limitations? The only answer is repressed inhibition.


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## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

BeenThereBefore said:


> You are right it is not at all what I expected to hear.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is a pattern some people fall into. She has you worshipping the p*ssy and doing everything for it with no expectation of anything in return.

I mean this is a lifestyle that can be chosen. The question is what does it do for you and is it enough?

If it doesn't make you happy and you know you are being rightful not disrespecting someone than you need to get out of it.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You have probably been too "beta" or "nice". You could do with a healthy dose of selfish alpha.

You probably need to hypnotize yourself to be more of a conquering barbarian and less of a castrated servant.

How do you appear in her eyes? Have you read many books on human sexuality and attraction?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

jorgegene said:


> i leave it to the psychoanalysts to untwist that one!
> 
> 
> 
> (one preferably trained in the german school of freudian psychoanalysis).



I had one class 35+ years ago on good ole' Ziggy and the control part is dead on, and I would add the obligatory unresolved issues.


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> You have probably been too "beta" or "nice". You could do with a healthy dose of selfish alpha.
> 
> You probably need to hypnotize yourself to be more of a conquering barbarian and less of a castrated servant.


I am starting to realize this. 



> How do you appear in her eyes?


She knows that I don't like to argue and that at any time she can start an argument and pretty much I will give her anything she wants. It's just my nature to avoid arguments and try and be nice to people.
I am sure she feels I am weak and probably a sucker for all the stuff I do.



> Have you read many books on human sexuality and attraction?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


no, none.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

What do you like for entertainment? Do you watch tv or movies? If so, what kinds?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Do you live near a body of water in an open air domicile with a modern motif - a girder with farm animal traffic and exposed rivets and beams?


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

It's a stretch but, if I take your word that you're a decent provider and guy (apart from the lie about the doc') I'm wondering if your wife is a high-functioning Asperger's/other spectrum disorder.

They can have an aversion to touch, textures, tastes that needn't be phobic. And, a tendency to self-centeredness could explain why she 'tolerated' or initiated sex early on.

You've been focussing on the sex,, but does she also have an aversion to certain foods or textures of food (crunchy, slimey, etc). Or, does she only wear loose fitting clothes,,, avoids wool or nylon?

That she lets you 'relieve' yourself on her and you've not reported any phobic reactions of other tactile awkwardness all but rules out severe aversion and sensory deprivation disorders.

I'd look for other signs of Aspergers/spectrum 'oddities'. If they ain't there,, maybe it is she just don't like you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

Catherine602 said:


> Do you live near a body of water in an open air domicile with a modern motif - a girder with farm animal traffic and exposed rivets and beams?


I think I am missing something here, I googled your question but could not find any reference. 

She did not like the house I was living in, so I bought her a new house, a year or so in and that one was not good enough, bought her another new house, same thing, another house same thing. We live in a large city, the forth time I drove her around for three months but there were no houses that would meet her ever increasing standards, so I got a list of all the requirements I could and I built a house for her. She was not happy about it but has gone three years and not required a new house so it's kind of working.


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

Flying_Dutchman said:


> It's a stretch but, if I take your word that you're a decent provider and guy (apart from the lie about the doc') I'm wondering if your wife is a high-functioning Asperger's/other spectrum disorder.
> 
> They can have an aversion to touch, textures, tastes that needn't be phobic. And, a tendency to self-centeredness could explain why she 'tolerated' or initiated sex early on.
> 
> ...


I thought it was odd, but never gave it any more thought. But she will only wear loose fitting clothes made from some particular type of cotton. regular cotton is not acceptable, and wool or nylon would be completely out of the question. 

she is very self-centered it amazes me sometimes how she has total disregard for other people, she does like dogs though and would treat any dog better than any person. 
One time there was some problem getting dinner on a cruise ship and we had to wait with about 100 other people standing packed into a small area. This nice guy asks us if we would like to join him and his wife and sit at their table while we are waiting, we sit down, he offered to check on our dinner reservation for us, and when he comes back he brought us some drinks and lets us know where we are on the dinner list. He sits down and asks us how we are enjoying the cruise, my wife leans over and says to me, tell him we don't want to talk to him. I am baffled and I tell her there is no polite way to do that after all he has just done for us. So she looks the other direction and ignores them, and I talked to the other couple. 

She has an aversion to most foods, she will only eat special food that has absolute zero spices or taste, if you put butter or anything on spaghetti she will not eat it, it must be a particular brand of spaghetti and must not have anything but water touch it and it can't be warm. We almost never go to new restaurants because of the procedure to get all the requirements met.

I never thought of any of these things as being related, but thinking about it, she does have a list of requirements for almost everything.

I thought aspergers was when someone said strange words, oh wait, that's tourettes syndrome?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Catherine602 said:


> Do you live near a body of water in an open air domicile with a modern motif - a girder with farm animal traffic and exposed rivets and beams?


I see what you did there


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Asperger's can be very obvious to very subtle. You've added another symptom - social awkwardness. "Don't want to talk to him."

You need to get her properly evaluated, but we may have a winner.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> I see what you did there


I was looking for some deep meaning by some famous world renowned author... your asking if I live under a bridge? ha ha ha.


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## BeenThereBefore (Nov 11, 2014)

Flying_Dutchman said:


> Asperger's can be very obvious to very subtle. You've added another symptom - social awkwardness. "Don't want to talk to him."
> 
> You need to get her properly evaluated, but we may have a winner.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OMG! if she really does have something wrong with her I am going to feel terrible, all this time I just thought she was mean and crazy.

She has no friends, and I never thought about it before but when she needs something done on the phone she always makes me call for her. I thought she was just lazy.
She really only does two activities, she shops and reads, that's really it.

She bought five purses all identical, then she looks at them for hours and asks me if I can feel the difference in the leather, if I can tell which one has the better buckle, I always tell her no they are all identical. But she will claim one is better than the other four and she has to find it. Thinking about it, most of the stuff she buys she does that same way.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Dude, your wife and your marriage have a lot of problems. Your sex life is just a symptom. 

C


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

BeenThereBefore said:


> OMG! if she really does have something wrong with her I am going to feel terrible, all this time I just thought she was mean and crazy.
> 
> She has no friends, and I never thought about it before but when she needs something done on the phone she always makes me call for her. I thought she was just lazy.
> She really only does two activities, she shops and reads, that's really it.
> ...


The buckles/leather texture - touch again - and a preoccupation with tiny details.

May get upset if you mess with her routines or over seemingly innocuous events.

Your next Thai holiday money might be better spent getting her a proper diagnosis and treatment. There's no cure for it, but ongoing CBT and (likely) SSRI meds will make her calmer and happier.

Could be something around her pregnancy triggered or exaggerated it,, explaining why it wasn't spotted in school or by her parents. Some don't investigate if their kids are just a bit 'odd', and spend hours quietly arranging pencils (or something) in their rooms.

Tell her/your doc' you want her tested for Autistic Spectrum Disorders /Asperger's. She has more than enough symptoms to warrant testing.

If you can get her happier and more self-aware,, and aware that others don't perceive the world the way she does,, she may be more inclined to think about you.

Kinda sad she's spent so long isolated in a strange world. Also, no joy that you can't get your rocks off. Still, I think she is 'sick' and the decent thing would be for you to enable her to get better. Effective treatment should return her some way towards her former glory.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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