# How to discreetly verify...



## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

My H had a near EA with a co-worker last year. Ever since, I have quietly kept sight of things, trust but verify I guess.

Anyway I found a strange number on his phone bill. Right before he left work yesterday he called it, texted a friend, then called it again. First for 30 seconds then 7 seconds.

I looked up the number and it is listed as a woman I have never heard of. Just dialed it and a woman answered saying hello then hung right up.

Have thought of the possibility it may be to do with work but there is nothing I can find for a business attached. to that number. Plus I figure if it were to do with work, he would not be calling from his personal number.

Not sure if this is anything but not sure what else to do with this. I am real bad at hiding feelings but I do not want to tip my hand if I may have stumbled on something.

I did have an uneasy feeling this last week or so, otherwise I wouldn't be wondering.

Any advice?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

So many of us BS's go through this WW. Those uneasy feelings are so damn difficult to shake. Honestly, the only thing you can do, if your husband has truly tried to reconcile with you...is to simply ask him. I have done this with Regret before. I've asked her who a call or text was to and ask to see her phone. She is very open and will give me her phone to check as she explains what the text/call was about.

True reconciliation means that you BOTH are communicating. Especially when stuff like this happens. You let him know your unease. You tell him how it feels...especially since you're "bad at hiding feelings". Don't hide. Don't feel like you have to do anything otherwise. Tell him how you feel.


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Tell him how you feel.


:iagree:


----------



## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

I thought at first to just ask him. My experience from last time has jaded me I guess. So I figured I would discreetly check it out.

I have had an uneasy feeling this last week. Nothing concrete but I guess my gut was telling me something. Which is why this sprang out at me. Plus earlier I noticed he had deleted all texts and calls from his phone. He does it periodically saying his phone memory is full but he has only recently started using it again after it had to be repaired.

I just looked at his phone but cannot see any record of anything from yesterday at all.

So I am going to ask. I hate this feeling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

walkingwounded said:


> So I am going to ask. I hate this feeling.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know. I truly do. I had my Spider senses tingling about some of the stuff my wife told me. Dday was 3/6. I finally got the "end" of the truth on 8/30.

Always listen to your instincts. They are rarely incorrect.


----------



## sdcott (Oct 9, 2012)

You are so right. I used to cry for no reason. When he would ask me why I would say there was so much pressure inside I didn't know why. That was Nov/Dec,11. Then March 20,12 it all blew open when she decided she wanted more and if I dumped him then he would go to her. Thank God she was wrong and her plot was really a divine intervention to us. Amazing what happens when things start falling into place, one way or the other. 
My spider senses were tingling for several months and off the charts for the last three months before d day. I could not even guess because I was so blissfully ignorant of the fact he was even capable of cheating. I thought he was perfect...................


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Have you tried a reverse lookup on it?


----------



## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Dont act or react until you know the fact.

You could have waited till you found out more details about the number. Now that you talked to the number and found a lady, she might (if there is something going on) let your H know of this. The A (?) may get further underground.


----------



## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

I asked him.

He told me a story about having to deliver something to a customer on his way back from work, told me roughly where. Explained the number was on a locked gate on the road to a private road to this customers house and he had to call it for them to open the gate for him. First time they did not answer ( assume it went to answer phone) then they did.

Weird thing is the details I found for the number do not corroborate with this. However the story sounds plausible, he was straight forward in telling me, and the address is nearby so I can easily check it out. 

I feel happy he is being truthfull with this. My gut I trust and now I have this info I feel fine.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

Check out the address; if there is a locked gate, that supports his story. Do a reverse phone # search to see if it corresponds to the address he gave you. There are spyware programs for phones; I'm not a techie, but you can easily research this.


----------

