# I made the mistake of telling hubby about this site...



## Blaze (Sep 16, 2009)

... about a week ago. I just casually mentioned some of the things I've learned/read in here. 

So this Saturday we were having some heated words about our sex life (basically the fact that I want more) and out of the blue he says, "You're online in some marriage site now and talking to who knows who and probably having an affair with someone - where's all this new stuff coming from!!??"

So much for trying to be open and honest with him. Guess this site was a big no-no to mention. Oops. 

My retort, by the way was.. "If I were having an affair would I be coming to you _every_ _single_ _day_ for sex, like I am??"

He shut up.

Still. That miffed me. 

I learned my lesson though. Not that I'm trying to hide anything from him but maybe spouses don't need to know _everything_ we're doing online all the time. LOL 


Blaze


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

If you were looking to having an affair, I would think a marriage site would be the last place to look...I would think most go to singles sites for that!

He might be uncomfortable thinking you are talking about him online somewhere, though. If he knows your intention is to better your marriage maybe talk to him about what subjects he might feel are taboo to discuss here.

My h knows I'm here...maybe MrSwedish will join some day


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I 'spose we could have a sister site?

talkabouthookingup.com


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

swedish said:


> If you were looking to having an affair, I would think a marriage site would be the last place to look...I would think most go to singles sites for that!


I'm not so sure. If I wanted an absolutely mind blowing world rocking affair, I would certainly look here. I would find one of these splendid women who complain of wanting sex non stop and not getting it, and just "set up my stall"  MMMmmmm

I hope that is not why my wife has joined


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## hoping (Sep 28, 2009)

sorry, i know this was a question to the ladies but can i make a suggestion?... i hope so 

perhaps you could try sharing this site with him... would it be possible for HIM to join and seek advise on the troubles or does he think that seeking help ingeneral is a bad idea (airing ones dirty laundry and all that...) and if not this site then perhaps just suggest he find A marriage site, so that way you can both vent with out having the chance of hurting eachothers feelings? or are you affraid that he would (un)intentionally start into one of those emotional affairs if he found "sympathy" from soem one of the opposite sex (that's what happened to my wife.. sorry)


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Not looking for myself, but I was thinking, dang, this could be a great match-making site. The thing is, we'd have to be sure that relationships were over, the way that Match.com does. Divorced? Fine. Separated? come back when you're divorced.

If all you want is to troll, you can easily find unhappy people. I think the majority of folks who come here actually want to solve their problems. There are so many hookup sites out there i t'd be f ar easier to just go to them and complain (waaa waa waa) than to make your case here. Everyone here is far too jaded. Like we'd want a cheater??? Hardly. 

This is the place where non-cheaters end up. A stock pile of solid citizens. A whole different ballgame.


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## Otter88 (Oct 7, 2009)

This is certainly NOT a good place to find a good new relationship. 

The last thing anyone who is looking for a good relationship needs is a person half in and half out of a marriage they are attempting to "solve". 

That is what is on this site: 

A) people trying to solve a relationship puzzle or 
B) support while extricating themselves from one that isn't ever going to work


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

Yeah. That's what I need. My life's a mess so I'll hook-up with someone who's as ****ed up as I am. Good Idea. ;-)


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## knortoh (Sep 5, 2009)

dobo said:


> This is the place where non-cheaters end up. A stock pile of solid citizens. A whole different ballgame.


ha ha Yes we are a sincere bunch


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I made the same mistake. Not about this or other marriage sites, but about reading relationship books. I told my husband about the books I was reading and he thought what he has suggested to help our marriage wasn't good enough. He basically accused me of not listening to him and taking some unknown doctors advice about what he wanted over his own. *sigh* Now I just keep all sites/books/relationship tools to myself.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

I have to be honest...

...and say that I have occasionally read threads written by very sexy women on this site which have been very ahem, stimulating - but then, a month or two later when you read down to the 73rd post or so you find out that the woman though undeniably sexy, is also an axe murderer or has some other crazy arsed pastime, and then I begin to think perhaps I should not have sent that sperm sample in the mail for compatibility testing.

But if you relish chaos in your life...


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## outinthecold (Apr 30, 2009)

There is no mistake in being honest, if everything is out there.

If you wanted more sex all the time with him, why would he ever think you were hunting for sex online?

Men, I'm one and I can't figure myself out


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## Ilovemyfeelings (Oct 20, 2009)

Blaze said:


> ... about a week ago. I just casually mentioned some of the things I've learned/read in here.
> 
> So this Saturday we were having some heated words about our sex life (basically the fact that I want more) and out of the blue he says, "You're online in some marriage site now and talking to who knows who and probably having an affair with someone - where's all this new stuff coming from!!??"
> 
> ...


Hi Blaze,

Do you really think they (men) tell us _everything_? NO...

I think he is a little insecure that you are learning NEW things here...WHY?

and why can't you learn and grow?...

and HOW DO I KNOW HIM? or U?....I don't...So for him to say, I don't want you to discuss our sex life on that SITE....is just a way of controlling you...

I know what this feels like....: )...THE control...

Hey, there are some-things left better untold.... IF he is a control freak?....

The NEXT thing HE will be doing .........is timing you ON THE computer...eeks...


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## hoping (Sep 28, 2009)

sorry, but i can some what understand the whole talking about sex with others thing... 

i agree that it is necessary to talk to people about it if you want to learn and grow, but i can also understand how it is PRIVATE, and he may not want it discussed out side the house or the doctors offices, hell i used to have a hard time talking to my doc about it even... but that said, i also understand the need to talk to some one about it... i know (as much as i hate it) that my wife talks to her "girl friend" about our sex life (habits, fetishes, likes, dislikes, quirks...) but i also know that she NEEDS some one to tlak to, so , i pretend not to know, and try not to let it bother me. so long as it never comes back to haunt me, as in being made the butt of a joke or being harassed by her friend, then i have to accept it... he should do the same, but if it is a subject that he doesn't like to share with other people, perhaps just let talk to him about it and arange for it to be an spoken arrangement, and never tell him you told any one on here again... it will be easier for you and him, and if youi talk to him first and be upfront, then yu will not be hiding it, just not discussing what we say in response. 

sorry, not sure if i am saying what i'm trying to but i hope you can make out some sense of it 

good luck


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Blaze said:


> ... about a week ago. I just casually mentioned some of the things I've learned/read in here.
> 
> So this Saturday we were having some heated words about our sex life (basically the fact that I want more) and out of the blue he says, "You're online in some marriage site now and talking to who knows who and probably having an affair with someone - where's all this new stuff coming from!!??"
> 
> ...


_

Every day. Cool. He should be grateful.... _


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## defeated (Nov 5, 2009)

everyone is right. its when your vulnerable and you go seeking for help that someone weasles their way in.


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