# Interracial marriage led to separation



## ProfJ (Jul 28, 2011)

I have been searching online trying to find a group which will help me make sense of what happened to my marriage. I came from another country and migrated here to be with my husband. We had the same story of looking at life through rose colored glasses, we were so in love with each other when I was still in my home country and he would just visit and stay for a month. I too had a good job. When I moved here, the promises that my husband made went all to crap. My husband had 4 girls from a previous marriage while I had a teenage daughter who came with me, and lived with my husband and I here in America, my husband imposed all rules and regulations inside the house. I was ok with it because I am a strict parent as well and I believe in giving children responsibility inside the house. But when his own daughter moved in to our house, the rules that he imposed on mine does not apply to his own child. Furthermore, this child would not do anything around the house, leaving my daughter and I to do all the housework. I mentioned this to my husband but he was so scared of his own children since they were always throwing the divorce in his face. To add to the mix, my in-laws were always whispering in my husband's ear that he should not show any affection towards my daughter when his own children is around lest it makes them jealous. My husband was not a good provider, he let me live in this country for 3 years without health insurance while paid for his own. I was able to get my own insurance through my job and he dropped his in order to be covered by mine. I was Ok with all this, all I wanted was for my husband to stand by me whenever somebody is attacking me. I became very resentful of his daughter who lived in our house because I felt like she is calling the shots in our own home. One day, my husband and I had an argument, and I chose to leave the house. My husband's daughter sent me a text saying "after my father brought you to this country and rescued you and your daughter, this is how you repay him?' then went on and posted on facebook that she wanted me to die. My husband wanted me to come back but I told him I will not tolerate his daughter's behavior and he told me that he will make her apologize to me for it. So we all sat down, including my daughter who's been out of the house and going to college at this time, and instead of apologizing, my husband's daughter called me a scammer, and that all Asians who marry Americans are only doing it for the citizenship. I was waiting for my husband to do something, and he just sat there like a stump. His daughter left the house after that, and we tried to make the marriage work, but my husband continued to act like nothing's happened. I never recovered from it and grew bitter because of it, finally leading to our separation. Right now, I'm sad at what happened to my marriage, but tried to maintain a decent relationship with my husband. We have been separated for more than 6 months now, and he comes whenever I need help, and he is still covered under my insurance. I love my husband and wanted our marriage to work, but i can't stand his family and the way that they have treated us. My husband also runs to his mother everytime something happens within our marriage, alienating his whole family against me, not to mention that they probably didn't like me in the first place.Now my husband is constantly sick, he blamed me for not taking him off the insurance making him feel hamstrung because he couldn't get an insurance on his own now. I was thinking, if you wanted to get your own, you could have gotten a second insurance, but is too cheap to do so because I have been paying for his.Are there married couples here who were able to survive blended families? Can you live with your husband and make the marriage work without having anything to do with his family?..


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## Separated79 (May 28, 2011)

Same thing happened to me...even if we have move out they still manage to breaks us up but i guess it was all really down to my stbxh that who doesnt stand up for his own family.
I totally understand what you feel,it's hard coz we have the same case and separated now my stbxh left me and our son and went back to his family.
It's hard but i am doing what i can to do what's right for me and my son...just do what you think is right...


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## ProfJ (Jul 28, 2011)

I'm ok financially. I'm probably better off than my husband right now.I have a full time job and teaches at a nearby University. I'm just lonely every day, but at least I'm not hateful all the time anymore. My heart was filled with so much hate and bitterness when my husband and I were still together because I feel like I married a different man than the one I fell in love with..


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