# One BIG fitness test?



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ok... I'm a little frustrated right now, thinking too much, but can't help it. Then it clicked... I've reached a dead end with trying to understand the missus and solving our sex drive issues.

Now, if you guys remember my recent threads, especially the one "Her silence" and "Wifey exploded"... Do you think that during the fight, when she was demanding her style of sex again it was actually ONE BIG fitness test? In which I failed miserably?

Maybe she WAS satisfied with 3-4x or even 7x a day, looking back we had no problems, she was very happy. Then she grew resentment, but maybe it could have been because of a completely different issue; just the hurts that she still felt and a need to just explode.

She probably brought up the sex again just to see how far she could go with me, fitness testing so to speak... am I right? am I wrong? What's going on? If I'm right then it means that I may have made a very... very... big mistake by giving in temporarily :scratchhead:


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Dude,

You can always count on the next fitness test.

There's almost no end to them.

Start passing now.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I'll be honest, I really have no clue if I have the story down ... even having previously read the threads.

There has been talk of a 'personality disorder' or possible abuse pertaining to her hyper-sex-drive. I have no clue about either of those, do you?

Because if those are in play, than the 'standard' battery of fitness testing doesn't apply. If there are emotional issues in the mix, it adds another whole dimension.

However, I'm happy to speculate:

When it comes to fitness testing, I have frequently referred to what I call the 'score card'. In virtually any given interaction or exchange between you and your spouse you are earning a + or a -.

You are either strengthening your relationship and bond, or you are weakening it and building a rift. Earn enough minuses, and she starts thinking about her options or will find a new 'friend' of the opposite sex.

In your case? It may be a matter of she is trying to do the right things ... the things that will bring you closer together ... and it's an epic double fail. She doesn't feel good about it, and she knows you don't feel good about it ... but somehow she thinks she is doing what YOU want ... so as not to be kicked to the curb again ... which she additionally is harboring a lot of resent over.

What makes her feel loved by you? Do you know? Do you do it?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I have no clue either really, I'm going in circles trying to figure things out! As for her issues, she's never been labeled with a disorder so far by professionals, though knowing her all these years she is a bit... "interesting", compared to many other women.

Come to think of it, I'm also a little confused about this fitness testing thing, the thing is, if she brought up sex during our fight it is also a possibility she did it just to get her way as she saw an opportunity - and I gave in. Perhaps it's a minus in a way; she realised she can still manipulate me.

As for doing the right things, she's been a great wife this year right up until she gave me the 'nothing is wrong' vibe and I just had to poke to find out what was underneath. After so many years of telling her what I like yet with her refusal to play the game and prefering only to have the fruits without the labor... I don't know. When she's horny she can get very selfish with her desires.

As for what makes her feel loved, it seems she needs a lot of affection and affirmation. I've gave her that all throughout this year, yet it doesn't seem to be enough as she still decided to chuck a fit and hence that's why I'm suspecting it's a fitness test.

So far I have speculations that either:
1) She's completely bonkers! She needs a psychoshrink! Personality disorder!
2) She was abused in the past and won't mention anything to me...
3) She's insecure, and with me cheating on her in the past doesn't help the issue...
4) She's a sex-addict, and won't admit it, and needs help!
5) She was itching to fitness test me and see if she can get her way with me again (and she has)

And hell it could even be all of the above!
Meh, just going to "feed" her for now and go to work, don't think I can confront her with this unless I have both my eyes open.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Was she always this amped up in terms of sex? Was there any kind of shift, pre or post, your dating infidelity?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Nope, we were a normal passionate loving couple before marriage - we both had our space, she always loved sex sure but it's different to how it is today; no ballsac draining. But after marriage things changed.

When I cheated it was years ago when we were still bf/gf, we broke up, then got back together, then she got preggie, then we somehow ended up married, with many issues unresolved. Over the years however we've resolved pretty much everything... except this. I don't know how it started, pretty much it just happened as soon as we got married and I started looking out for our new family.

I guess she didn't really expect what marriage would do to me either, before marriage I was rather easy going happy-go-lucky, studying/working and enjoying life... then the baby bells. I started working 84 hours a week to provide for her and our child before I finally took over the business and have my hours more flexible. It seems we have both changed, but still, a part of me does miss the good o' days. Only thing it was missing is our daughter.

Still... I don't know what triggered her dramatic sex drive increase, she hasn't even reached her 30s yet, close though (and hell am I dreading it! Gonna end up with a crushed pevlis). She loves sex, always have, and insists that this is her raw nature.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

A head injury or other brain issue could trigger hypersexuality.
If I wanted sex 3-4 times a day I would probably seek treatment because it would start interfering with my ability to function in other parts of my life, particularly parenting and working. I would be worried especially if it were a change from before. 

Has she ever had a functional MRI?
Or hormone testing?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Thats the thing, she doesn't work, she just takes care of our angel and our house, that's about it. Sometimes she helps out at work when she's bored but otherwise she has all the free time in the world.

As for injuries, she hasn't been boinked in the head - though she probably did got boinked psychologically somewhere, sometime, I don't know. She reckons she's healthy too so I don't know about a hormone test.


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