# Should I be worried?



## nirvanaozzy (Jan 11, 2010)

So my wife and mother went to Vegas a couple of weeks ago for 4 days. They basically drank and gambled a little the entire time. Stayed up till 6am and woke up at 11am and did it all over again. I got an email from verizon saying she texted an unfamiliar number several hundred times, mostly on the ride back home. They sent me an email seeing if we wanted to get UNLIMITED messaging because this phone she texted wasn't verizon. Anyways, it kinda freaked me out because over 200 of the messages were sent on the way home and when she left she said don't text me because I am going to sleep on the way back. I confronted her about it and she told me it was a guy she met while she was there and I should not be so insecure, she said absolutely nothing happened. They just talked and got along. She said she didn't tell me about it because she knew I would be mad, but her lying made me more angry and anxious then that. Anyways, he lives in California, she said she wouldn't text him anymore, we live in Arizona. She added him to her facebook. Does anyone think anything went on, I trust her, something just makes me nervous about it. Did she do anything wrong? What do you think?


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I think she was dead wrong. She knew it wasn't right, that's why she kept it from you.

If I were you I'd tell her to defriend him on Facebook and cut off all communication with him because you aren't comfortable with it. Don't back down.


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## nirvanaozzy (Jan 11, 2010)

That is exactly what I told her, and she said I am being unfair. That she should be able to have guy friends. I told her I don't mind her having guy friends, but not this guy. She won't do it though. I even deleted him from her facebook, she re added him and changed her password. What should I do?


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## nirvanaozzy (Jan 11, 2010)

That is exactly what I told her, and she said I am being unfair. That she should be able to have guy friends. I told her I don't mind her having guy friends, but not this guy. She won't do it though. I even deleted him from her facebook, she re added him and changed her password. What should I do?


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Ask her again to cut off communication with this guy. If she refuses, ignore her. You have nothing else to say to her expect, "Did you block that guy from your FB?"


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## Brettscout (Jan 19, 2010)

nirvanaozzy said:


> A) she left she said don't text me because I am going to sleep on the way back.
> 
> B) I confronted her about it and she told me it was a guy she met while she was there and I should not be so insecure, she said absolutely nothing happened.
> 
> ...


A) She lied or "hid the truth"
B) She didnt want you to know the truth
C) I Consider myself a pretty "average" guy..and am around alot of "Guys" in the work place. "Guys" dont do hundreds of texts to married women unless something did happen...or they want something to happen...or it has to do with work.
D) OK...so she wont text him....she'll just IM/email him on FB? how is that OK after you asked to break contact?
E) Yes....I do think there is wrong with what she did, both known and unknown.


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## Alexandra (Jan 9, 2010)

Yowsa. Nip it in the bud. Now.

I agree that you shouldn't back down and yes, maybe it's not fair. But this situation (lying, hiding stuff, changing passwords), circumstance (Vegas, drinking, away alone) and intentions (even if they're innocent now, they look to be headed in the wrong direction) basically void the whole unfairness. If this guy was a friend, you could meet him, talk to him, get to know how as well and sort of come to an understanding about your wife. You can't do that. So she can't be friends with him.


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## nirvanaozzy (Jan 11, 2010)

That is what I told her from the get go, she said it is unfair and untrusting of me. She did give me her new password, so I can basically see anything she writes, i have this guys number, I have pondered calling him and asking him if anything went on, but I know if I did he would probably call her and tell her I called him, and then it could get really ugly. I don't know what else to do


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

You have every right to be mad. Her behavior is very shady. HOw would she feel if you went to Vegas and met some woman who immediately started texting an enormous amount of times? Then you add her to your facebook. Then when your spouse is telling you that they don't like it.......you get mad and defensive about losing this friend? How old and strong is this friendship? I don't think she'd be happy with you doing all of this.

Is this guy Wayne Newton and is he offering her a job? I mean, come on.

I'm not saying your wife did anything with the guy. Maybe she doesn't have any bad intentions, but odds are that he does. What guy puts that kind of energy into a woman he just met unless he has ulterior motives or is stalker material.


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## HEADENDTECH (Nov 8, 2009)

You are so in the right to be angry with her,Why the hell would she text some stranger a couple of hundred times...Comon what she did ,listen to me was WRONG.. it was thoughtless to your feelings and i don't believe her that they just hang out either..200 texts are you kidding me and then she adds him to her facebook knowing the way you feel about it?????Hey handle it anyway you want but if it where me i would in the very least try some marriage counseling if that does not work throw her out of the house maybe she can text her cali boyfriend for a room..DONT BE BLIND..the hate is only going to eat you up inside..hope this helps


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## nirvanaozzy (Jan 11, 2010)

Here is my thing, yes I am upset, she hasn't called, texted of im'd the guy, he lives in another state, should I just forget it and stop worrying? What do you think?


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## nirvanaozzy (Jan 11, 2010)

Also, should I call this guy? Or do you think he would just lie too?


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Do not call that guy. Talk to your wife again. You should not let this slide or misplace your anger on the dude. Focus on what she is doing that is making you uncomfortable and don't stop until you make it right.

If you let this slide, it's not going to get better. It's a bad precedent.


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## HEADENDTECH (Nov 8, 2009)

she hasn't called, texted of im'd the guy, he lives in another state,THAT you know of doesn't mean there has been no contact.if it was my wife i couldn't just forget it...i would be so upset with her...SHE IM HIM 200 TIMES THAT TELLS ME SOMETHING HAPPENED OVER THERE...in my opinion.I know you are hurt by this as would i be...I wouldint just let it go...


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

Although you think calling this guy may help, it won't. He will get a hold of your wife and tell her you called him. Whatever he tells you, are you going to believe it? If he is a slimeball that wants to hook up with your wife, he's not going to admit it.


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## nirvanaozzy (Jan 11, 2010)

Ugh, okay. Thank you for the advice. I will talk to her about it again


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