# My wife is unbearable.



## mikealone (Nov 26, 2008)

We have only been married for 6 months and I want to divorce her. She kinda changed straight after the wedding, she has no respect for me she constantly whines. She has become more of a slob, she is already well over weight and is putting even more on.

Honestly I could write a book on how bad she has become. We have already seen a counselor but it was a kinda waste of $100.

I have screamed and cursed at her, threatened to divorce her 3 times but nothing seems to work.

I've caught her twice on dating sites.

Even her Dad has had a word with her.

What shall I do?


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

If you're going to leave her, do it before you get her pregnant. Otherwise, if you think things are bad now, just you wait. And you'll be trapped.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

mikealone said:


> I have screamed and cursed at her, threatened to divorce her 3 times but nothing seems to work.


And you are expecting this to help? :scratchhead: While I can sympathize with your situation, verbal abuse never helps. If the counselor was a waist, was it the counselor or was it the two of you? How long did you date? Do you communicate? A little more info please. And as MT said, don’t get pregnant.


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## Melancholy (Nov 15, 2008)

Often people behave exactly as you treat them. If you keep yelling at your wife and telling her she is a fat slob, guess what you'll be married to?


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## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

Melancholy said:


> Often people behave exactly as you treat them. If you keep yelling at your wife and telling her she is a fat slob, guess what you'll be married to?


:iagree:

It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

mikealone said:


> I have screamed and cursed at her, threatened to divorce her 3 times but nothing seems to work.


That's verbal abuse. She might have some issues, but you need anger management.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

ljtseng said:


> That's verbal abuse. She might have some issues, but you need anger management.


:iagree:

draconis


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Bumping post so we have the whole story

?


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

You reap what you sow. If you are being mean and nasty that offers your wife no incentive to change IMO. Sounds like you need help with your communication skills. Perhaps work on your own flaws instead of trying to fix what you perceive as faults in your wife.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Unique Username said:


> Bumping post so we have the whole story
> 
> ?





lancaster said:


> You reap what you sow. If you are being mean and nasty that offers your wife no incentive to change IMO. Sounds like you need help with your communication skills. Perhaps work on your own flaws instead of trying to fix what you perceive as faults in your wife.


FYI this thread is something like 5 1/2 years old.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Divorce her

Crap just noticed the age of the thread. Sorry for contributing to the zomby wake up call.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Leave


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

mikealone said:


> We have only been married for 6 months and I want to divorce her. She kinda changed straight after the wedding, she has no respect for me she constantly whines. She has become more of a slob, she is already well over weight and is putting even more on.
> 
> Honestly I could write a book on how bad she has become. We have already seen a counselor but it was a kinda waste of $100.
> 
> ...


Been there. It might be salvageable, but it is going to be hard.

First step, we need to sort out your mental health. Taking on the load for two people when you are not expecting it will leave you tried, angry and mentally exhausted.

Excuse me if this sounds like hippy nonsense, but yoga, mediation and weight training are strongly recommended. 

The MC will be unlikely to your as your wife is probably convinced that it is you who has suddenly changed and become unreasonable. This is also why sitting down and talking about it is unlikely to help.

You are desperate because you want to make it work. She will not make an effort while you work hard. So, stop. Give it up. It is hard, but prepare to go. Consult a lawyer and work out the steps and look forward to a future as a single man. 

Do not shout and scream. First, people will not understand it as desperation. They will think it means you have not tried speaking. Also, your wife will see it as you not communicating (she probably feels you have just changed).

Get to the stage where you are not bothered if she makes an effort or not. Look forward to your single life, suddenly, she might buck her ideas up (which would be great) or you leave (which will also be great).

Happiness is not so hard, but there are issues that mean you feel trapped. You are not. Work on them. She is ruining her own life, so it is not as straight forward as being selfish.

PS:

ZOMBIE THREAD. Sorry


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think "Unique Username" revived this thread so others could get a clear picture of what the OP's situation is, he has another thread going called "Want to divorce my wife but don't want to leave my kids" Here it is 6 years later and as unhappy as he was in the first 6months he has stayed married and had two children with this woman.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Its quite obvious that you rushed into your marriage..... This is why i feel that people should be sure that this is really the person they want to spend the rest of their life with before they tie the knot.... 6 months and you want a divorce leads me to believe that you rush into it.

For one shes on date sites.... ( did not take her long to wander elsewhere).... shes turned into a slob, shes put weight on, and to me its clear shes not really into the marriage and shows you nil respect, if shes not willing to change then there is nothing really you can do, but think about divorce proceedings.

Shes not listening to you, or her dad maybe she will listen when she gets her papers??.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Ooops. Also already noticed i am about 6 years to late to offer any advice.... Old thread!!!!


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

melw74 said:


> Its quite obvious that you rushed into your marriage..... This is why i feel that people should be sure that this is really the person they want to spend the rest of their life with before they tie the knot.... 6 months and you want a divorce leads me to believe that you rush into it.
> 
> For one shes on date sites.... ( did not take her long to wander elsewhere).... shes turned into a slob, shes put weight on, and to me its clear shes not really into the marriage and shows you nil respect, if shes not willing to change then there is nothing really you can do, but think about divorce proceedings.
> 
> Shes not listening to you, or her dad maybe she will listen when she gets her papers??.


I knew my wife for a while, then we were engaged for over a year. I appreciated how down to earth she was. Then we got married.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Mr The Other said:


> I knew my wife for a while, then we were engaged for over a year. I appreciated how down to earth she was. Then we got married.


Oh, Anything happened to change her behaviour and made her change the way she once was??.

Have you asked her why shes the way she is?.


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