# Turning 30 - Depressed



## Annizka (Sep 29, 2017)

Hello ladies,

I will be turning 30 soon, and I am feeling this depression as if my youth is behind me. When I think about it, it is silly, but can’t shake the feeling. 

How did you feel when you turned 30? Did you have similar feelings to me, or were you excited? 

Just curious how other women felt during this age.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Annizka .... I'm no women but I felt the same way. Now I'm 43! While I always worried about getting older I can say that I'm having the best time of my life now. 
It's important to maintain a healthy lifestyle and habits so you can still be "young" when your "old". The common saying is age is a state of mind....but I say body.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

You cannot control time, but you have total control over your attitude and outlook. The sky is the limit so long as your perspective doesn't shackle you to a rock.


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## Pantone429c (Feb 8, 2018)

Annizka said:


> Hello ladies,
> 
> I will be turning 30 soon, and I am feeling this depression as if my youth is behind me. When I think about it, it is silly, but can’t shake the feeling.
> 
> ...




Enjoy being 30 before you know it you will be 50



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

When you are older, you will realize that at 30 you were young and had your life ahead of you. Same for being 40. And 50. 

Enjoy life - you are a great age. Some of us would sell our souls (if we still had them) to be 30 again.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Ah yes, the feelings of getting old. Let me tell you about the 30s. It is the best time of your life hands down no question in my mind at all. Its the old yin and yang of life.

When you are a kid, you have all this energy. If you fall down, you bounce right back up. You have no responsibilities. Care free. Yet you have no freedom. Mom and dad make all the rules. When it is bed time, it is bed time. When the teachers tell you recess is over, its over. 

College age and 20s. Every where you look it is nothing but hot single people. You have your freedom. You still have your youth. You fall down, and you bounce right back up. You are in your physical prime. You can run faster and jump higher than ever. You have your choices in life. When? Who? What? How? You have seemingly your entire life ahead of you and all the freedom to pursue whatever you want. Nobody is going to rag on a 22 year old who makes some mistakes. After all, you are still learning about being an adult and how to handle this new freedom. However, you are broke as a joke in your 20s. You have mounting debt. Relationships are hard work and your thesis and college finals are stressing you out. You just had a baby, and you are adjusting to being a parent. You just got married, and you are adjusting to the new life all of that entales. 

Now your mid 40s and beyond. You are financially better off than you have ever been. Your hard work has paid off. Your retirement plan is set. Your debt is under control, maybe gone completely. Your home is well furnished. You can finally afford those dream vacations you always wanted to take. However, now you have teenagers. They are driving you insane with their own issues. Your body is starting to betray you. You used to be able to hike 20 miles in a day, now you are down to 12. When you get a cold, it takes 6 days to get over it when it used to take 3. Your memory isn't what it was. You can't play with your kids on the basketball court like you used to. The music on the radio sucks. Political movements are driving you crazy. You can't wrap your head around what these kids are doing these days, and you don't understand how the world changed so fast. Some of your friends are starting to die off. Life has never seemed shorter. You miss the old days, when life was much more simple and it seemed like you had forever left on this earth. 

Now the 30s, life still has its checks and balances. But they will never be more close together than they are now. You have worked hard to gain more financial freedom. You still have debt, but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You can afford really good vacations, yet you still need to budget wisely. Your kids are at a great age. They still want to spend time with you, but they are also becoming more independent. They can clean their own damn room and wash the dishes while they are at it. You have become used to the daily stresses of life, and they Don't bother you near as much. You maybe aren't as fast and as nimble as you were in your 20s, but you can still hold your own. That 20 mile hike becomes 18, which is still very respectable. You understand the young kids still, and are more accepting of their behaviour. The music on the radio isn't what it used to be, but its not terrible either. You have a little knee pain, and your cold takes a day or two longer to get over, but that is ok. Everything is just perfectly ok in your 30s. Nothing is great, nothing is terrible. Life is just perfectly ok. 

Such is life. Enjoy the okayness of your middle age. Because honestly, you will never have it any better. Such is life. Rock those 30s. Yin and yang. The great balance of life. As the scales tip throughout, you will never have it any more balanced than in your 30s. 

Ymmv obviously.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I'm sorry that you're struggling. 

Birthdays with zeros just don't affect me - I don't know why.

When I was 30, I was in a sexless marriage, raising 4 small children.

Now I'm 50. I'm healthy, on my own, and doing exactly what I want. 

I think life is what you make of it, regardless of age. We truly live in a remarkable time with so much freedom and endless opportunities.

I hope things get better for you!


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Are you happy with where you are at in your life right now? Are you where you “thought you would be” at age 30?

Marriage? Kids? Career? Finances? Personal growth? 

The answers to these questions might shed some light on why you’re feeling the blues.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Of all my decade changes, 30 was the one I struggled with. It did definitely mean the end of youth to me. However, once I survived the shock of turning 30, I've enjoyed my other decade changes. I discovered that (for me) youth is highly overrated and I wouldn't go back to my 20's even if I could.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

When I was turning 30, I was getting divorced, I was about to lose my job, and I was getting ready to leave a foreign country that I'd been living in for the last 8 years.
I had arranged a party with some closest friends, then we had a bad storm and all of my friends canceled. 

It was probably the crappiest birthday I've ever had all-around.

I've had 7 birthdays since and they've each been infinitely better.

Life ebbs and flows. Maybe you are just at a low point. Believe that things can get better, but you must pursue your goals.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

When I was 30, going thru a divorce with a horrible ex, I felt so old.

But I took charge of my life, remarried, worked on my weight and being healthy.

I have a husband who loves and adores me, we have a great relationship.

We have our ups and downs but we are in a good spot. 

I am 43 and I feel like I am younger now then I was at 30. 

I feel great.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Oh I want to add, when I turned 40, I was EXCITED! By the time I was 30, I had lost my mom who was 52 at the time, then my dad who was 65 a few months later.

At 32, my ex husband passed on at 35!

When I was 37, my best friend who I knew my whole life passed on at 38.

So when I hit 40, I was thru the roof excited! 

Life is a gift denied to many.

Yes we get older, but the alternative is death.

I will choose getting older and being alive.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

...


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## Ms. GP (Jul 8, 2013)

I work in healthcare, and I can honestly say I've seen people in their 30's that were old and people in their 70's I would consider to be young. I think the 30's is where the rubber meets the road on our life's choices. 

I'm turning 40 this year, and I'm excited. Just celebrated five years of sobriety. Life is great. Finances are more stable. Hubby and kids are doing well. Life feels calmer, not so uncertain. The noise in my head is so much quieter. I don't worry or get angry like I used too. I have left behind some toxic people which leaves me a lot more time for the people that I just truly enjoy, and I don't feel bad about it. 

I wouldn't go backwards if you paid me.


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## Lukedog (Nov 18, 2015)

For me...turning 30 was nothing. Couldn't believe it...but was nothing. Married at 28, turned 29 six days later. Had my baby 6 months later. Turned 30 six months after that. My husband and mother threw me the best surprise birthday party ever! Turning 40 didn't bother me...neither did turning 50...despite the fact that I had just radiation treatments for breast cancer. I think I was elated to see 50 because of that...and the fact that all my friends were turning 50 and there were so many parties to go to. My 52nd birthday really bothered me....I turn 53 in three months. Birthdays and your age are really just a number...and it's really a state of mind and where your life is at the moment. If things aren't good in your life at that time of your birthday that could be why it won't be a good one. If things are going great then the happier you may be. Getting older is a gift and with age comes wisdom. Knowledge is power! Age is just a state of mind. 30? Enjoy it!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


> Are you happy with where you are at in your life right now? Are you where you “thought you would be” at age 30?
> 
> Marriage? Kids? Career? Finances? Personal growth?
> 
> The answers to these questions might shed some light on why you’re feeling the blues.


^^^^ This.

What is going on in your life combined with your outlook and attitude are why you are feeling upset about turning 30.

I had no problem turning 30, 40, or 50.  When I turned 30, I had just had my first child and had been married for about ten years. Things were going well. I felt young and energetic. I was healthy and in good shape. When I turned 50, I had just been through a few difficult years that were not over, but was in a place of internal renewal and was pursuing better health and well-being, so I was full of hope for the future. My family on both sides is also long-lived, so I have never felt like my days were running out. I see that I still have a lot of time ahead and want to use it for the best, even if I were to suddenly pass from an accident, I want my life to be well lived daily and focus on that.

I see each stage of life and an opportunity no matter what is happening at the time.


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

Yeah I know the feeling, I turned 60 this week.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Life goes fast. It seems it was just yesterday that I started my final phase of college (PhD). Envelope in the mail, dear such and such you have been accepted... I was in my early 30s and had a toddler.

Last week the toddler, now 25, received her third fully funded PhD acceptance letter. 

That alone made me a bit depressed. I'm usually not the sentimental type for such things but that really struck a chord. Where has the time gone.


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## Spring_Green (May 9, 2017)

Don't worry your life won't be over. But I do know how you feel. I was terrified of turning 30. But so far my 30's rock.

Entering your 30's is like coming in to a period of your life now where you have the benefit of life experience, while still being young enough to have a potentially great future ahead of you! Try to develop hobbies and interests, have goals to set and achieve. I know its not easy, but we have to try or we will stay unhappy forever! Only you can help yourself. Plus age is but a number :smile2: just live life


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

The other day I was watching Family Feud with my ladyfriend. One of the questions was "At what age is a woman most interesting?" The number one answer? 30!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Annizka said:


> Hello ladies,
> 
> I will be turning 30 soon, and I am feeling this depression as if my youth is behind me. When I think about it, it is silly, but can’t shake the feeling.
> 
> ...


What does the feeling of youth represent to you?

Hubs and I went away for my 30th birthday. I'd wanted to do something that would challenge me and be memorable. It involved climbing and heights - which I'm scared of and why I wanted to do it - to mark my journey into my 30's. It was a group activity, I was first up and froze; just couldn't move with fear. Hubs was calling to me, speaking to me. I couldn't even turn to talk with him. Somehow he gently encouraged me each step of the way until I'd achieved. That's what I remember about turning 30.

Then my 40th birthday, somewhat similar. I don't know why I do this to myself..! But again, I wanted to do something that would be challenging and memorable. Batman lined up caving. Despite the guide telling me to trust the grip of my boots, I remained petrified (but determined). After observing the guide's footing, he turned and suggested (me being shorter) another rock I could consider - but there was a sizeable spider hanging there, so I opted for the path he took instead. This was too big of a stretch for me, it took me doing so to realize this and I froze, with a somewhat scary drop below me. He told me to let go of the rock (whah?!) and grab his hand. I had no other option but trust him. He took my full body weight and pulled me up onto the new rock. With a laugh, he told me if we hurried we could run away together and leave hubs behind. He'd used playfulness to keep me laughing and serve as a distraction to my fear. Hubs was again behind me the whole way, encouraging me forward. 

There's a moment I recall frequently from that experience... of absolute peacefulness, sitting close to hubs in the magnificence of the cave. It was magical.

Maybe the milestone birthdays are best celebrated with those willing and able to support you, cheer you on, get you up and over boulders. Maybe by not letting fear stop you, there's a sense of youthful adventure that's retained within. 


I hope you're able to find the balance of challenge and peace and youthful adventure.
The magic is still there.


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## Justinian (Mar 7, 2015)

Annizka said:


> I will be turning 30 soon, and I am feeling this depression as if my youth is behind me. When I think about it, it is silly, but can’t shake the feeling.
> 
> How did you feel when you turned 30? Did you have similar feelings to me, or were you excited?


My granddaughter seems to be handling it just fine. She turned 30 a few days ago. 

However, I did find it a little depressing. 

.


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## MLK22 (Jan 13, 2015)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Ah yes, the feelings of getting old. Let me tell you about the 30s. It is the best time of your life hands down no question in my mind at all. Its the old yin and yang of of life. /QUOTE]
> 
> Agree 100%. My 30's were outstanding- AND I was going through a divorce and financial struggles - AND STILL, AMAZING.


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