# Is what a wife says when she wants a divorce always what she really means?



## Chinabound49 (Aug 12, 2016)

My wife is an attractive highly sexed Chinese woman i met and married 12 years ago in China when i was there working. 5 months ago out of the blue she informed me she does not love mew anymore and wants a divorce. We separated 4 months ago and she has told me she does not love me, that we can never be husband and wife again, nor can we ever be together again, but she will always consider me part of her family (whatever that means). Since then we have played the rollercoaster game, one day she will call me and message me, has gone shopping and dropped of some of my favorite stuff without wanting any money for it, then next day argues and screams wildly at me. If i don't contact her in any way, after like 3 or 4 days she finds a reason to contact me. I have asked her if she has someone else, or has dated, and yes, if she has had sex, and she say no, no, no. She regularly reminds me that the marriage ended and it was all my fault 100%. I have also found out she has been on dating sites for a few years at least, and knowing her as well as I do, with her very high sex drive, I would venture to guess that after 4 months separated from me, there is a very high chance she has been ****ed by another guy. Now my confusion is this - if she truly does not love me at all, and does not want to ever be with me ever again, not ever to go out for dinner, and states it is totally over and that she does not think of me at all ever now, then why the hell would she still talk to me almost daily, even though most times she gets arguing and yelling, why does she still the odd time buy me snacks that she knows i like, tell me that she has not dated anyone or had sex with anyone, and on and on and on? Me? If i had lost love for her, and said i want a divorce and we split, none of this what she does would happen. I would only have contact with her if it was an emergency. To me if I really have decided it is over for good, then that is exactly what it would be, over for good.

If anyone has any thoughts or comments i would appreciate hearing them.

Thanks

Bill


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*What are your ages?*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

She could be trying to keep you around as her Plan B. 
She also could just be trying to stay your friend.
I know I want that very much with my Ex. I do kind things for him, and keep in touch some. 

Did you ever get the vibe that she married you to get citizenship in your home country?

If this is affecting you adversely, you need to ask her to stop contacting you. If you would like to maintain a platonic friendship with her, then do that.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

@Chinabound49 Why are you spamming three different sub-forums?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

To answer your question Chinabound, if she told you she wanted a divorce in the heat of an argument or highly pissed at you, she may not really mean it. With her doing it out of the blue, (and out of the blue to you doesn't mean she hadn't planned it for awhile) and than sticking to her guns that she's through with you, you're history my man.
Oh, and chances are she replaced you way before she said she wanted you out. As time goes on, you'll be back confirming I'm right.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Chinabound49 said:


> My wife is an attractive highly sexed Chinese woman i met and married 12 years ago in China when i was there working. 5 months ago out of the blue she informed me she does not love mew anymore and wants a divorce. We separated 4 months ago and she has told me she does not love me, that we can never be husband and wife again, nor can we ever be together again, but she will always consider me part of her family (whatever that means). Since then we have played the rollercoaster game, one day she will call me and message me, has gone shopping and dropped of some of my favorite stuff without wanting any money for it, then next day argues and screams wildly at me. If i don't contact her in any way, after like 3 or 4 days she finds a reason to contact me. I have asked her if she has someone else, or has dated, and yes, if she has had sex, and she say no, no, no. She regularly reminds me that the marriage ended and it was all my fault 100%. I have also found out she has been on dating sites for a few years at least, and knowing her as well as I do, with her very high sex drive, I would venture to guess that after 4 months separated from me, there is a very high chance she has been ****ed by another guy. Now my confusion is this - if she truly does not love me at all, and does not want to ever be with me ever again, not ever to go out for dinner, and states it is totally over and that she does not think of me at all ever now, then why the hell would she still talk to me almost daily, even though most times she gets arguing and yelling, why does she still the odd time buy me snacks that she knows i like, tell me that she has not dated anyone or had sex with anyone, and on and on and on? Me? If i had lost love for her, and said i want a divorce and we split, none of this what she does would happen. I would only have contact with her if it was an emergency. To me if I really have decided it is over for good, then that is exactly what it would be, over for good.
> 
> If anyone has any thoughts or comments i would appreciate hearing them.
> 
> ...


Stop answering the calls.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

I'm going to be blunt with you. 
I think she's keeping you in the wings. She probably has gone on dates and (sorry) slept with men if you say her drive is very high. You yourself think that. She is experimenting but allowing you to be dangled in the wings in case she gets bored and decides there aren't that many more fish in the sea. 
Correction...you are allowing yourself to be dangled. You need to cut her off entirely. If she can't sit down and have a civilized conversation about the future then why would you want to be with someone that immature. 
I'd detached completely and if you still want to try to save the marriage you need MC. However if she says she doesn't love you then it's a bit of a lost cause. Too much drama IMO.


Sent from my iPhone


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Just divorce her. Why bother with her nonsense at all? Do you have kids with her? If the answer is no, change your phone number and forget about her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

It's called plan B or backup plan..... And you are it.


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## Guth (Oct 23, 2015)

Hi. I'd like to share something. 

I have an Asian wife, married 20 years. Three kids. I was living there as a student in my early 20s. She was a fellow student. 

So immediately after we married (we were not very intimate before tying the knot) she becomes borderline nympho. Something about giving them sex. Initially I could not believe how much i loved the sex. She's also very pretty (Thai). And the best thing is, today at 43 she looks better than ever. The woman's sex appeal and drive has really messed with me. She and I are together always, and in bed making love daily, so there's no other dude. 

Lately I've fallen out of love with her. She was a rotten contributor to raising our kids, leaving me to supervise everything and even keeping the house clean. The kids became total stars academically, and two are elite athletes. She never went to a practice or even cared about academics. I didn't really pay attention, as I was constantly under the gun.

So what's next for you and I? I'm ready to walk away. We have assets. Financially I don't need her. But I'll never have the same quality of sex -- or will I? Will you? Was your wife a giver in bed? My wife was a taker. She always wants me to warm it up, get it in and pound away. 

Your x wife should be cut off. Don't answer. Who cares about treats. Let her come around for sex maybe.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

I can assure you that waywardwifespeak sounds the exact same in Chinese as it does in English.

Yes, she's been cheating.

No, she doesn't love you.

Yes, she wants to keep you on the hook in order to have you facilitate and finance her newfound freedom (and/or to maintain her outward image, etc) for as long as possible.

File ASAP.

Read up on and implement the 180. Go no contact to the most extreme degree possible.

If you have children w/ her, DNA them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Chinabound49 said:


> I have also found out she has been on dating sites for a few years at least, and knowing her as well as I do, with her very high sex drive, I would venture to guess that after 4 months separated from me, there is a very high chance she has been ****ed by another guy.


Bill,

What she really means is she wants a divorce.

There's over 600 million Chinese woman on the planet.

I'm sure you will have NO problem replacing her.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

She wants to keep you around for things that she needs, perhaps as a plan B or for extra money when she needs it. You should stop communicating with her. She divorced you and no longer contributes positively to your life. She can't have it both ways.


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## Begin again (Jul 4, 2016)

BetrayedDad said:


> Bill,
> 
> What she really means is she wants a divorce.
> 
> ...


I agree! Except this time don't marry one!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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