# Im FED UP WITH IT



## betrayed81 (Dec 11, 2009)

You know, i have been readin alot of your threads and i can relate to alot of the people here, im in a situation where my w has had an affair on me and ofcourse she also filed for divorce.

Its been 3 weeks now and i didnt call her i didnt bug her i actually told her i didnt think it was a good idea to talk and i called her yesterday to see if she still wanted to go thru with everything.

she said she didnt want to go thru it again and said yes she still wants the divorce........ok im throwin my hands up...i am FED UP beyond all belief and im not going to allow myself to allow it to consume me any further like some of the threads i have read!

Don't get me wrong it hurts but if she is still saying yes after 3 weeks i would only be wasting more time and effort wondering if by some miracle shes gonna snap out of it and want to repair our broken marriage!

I guess ill take my losses and move foward theres no point in me torturing myself over if shes having an affair rite now im just gonna assume yes and if not seperating for months will probably end with that happening anyways......

SO IF YOUR FED UP like i am i say cut your losses dont hang around and drag things out its just gonna hut you and waste time and energy but i will say i have learned alot from people on here just by reading there divorce horrors..so thanx!

Let me know am i wrong in my view of what i feel?


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## wren (Aug 19, 2009)

I would never tell anyone that how they feel is wrong.
I can totally understand how you would be fed up.
If you can cut your losses and move on, go for it.
I wish it was that easy for me!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

In my case - having been married almost 15 years and with two young kids - 3 weeks really doesn't sound like a long time.

Also in my case - 14.5 good/honest/faithful years, followed by 6 months of BS. I owe it to her, our children, myself and our marriage to be sure that I've done all I can do. 

Seeing some good signs, so now I'm weighing 6 months of BS v. a couple of weeks of very small progress. 

Hoping it becomes 15 years of marriage, 6 months of BS, and that the "progress" number keeps slowly climbing. Only time will tell.


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## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

Betrayed,

although i do feel VERY fed up at times...3 weeks isnt a whole lot of time...

every situation is different.

I see my marriage as sacred, my children need their father and i want my husband back...

after the 12 years we have been together, all we have gone through...I look at my sitch as my h has several illnesses.
just because he is sick i would never walk away from him. 

I hear you and i would encourage you to follow your heart no matter which direction it takes you. best of luck!


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## betrayed81 (Dec 11, 2009)

wren said:


> I would never tell anyone that how they feel is wrong.
> I can totally understand how you would be fed up.
> If you can cut your losses and move on, go for it.
> I wish it was that easy for me!


thanks wren and i feel like im fighting a losing battle and i have been married for a lil over 3 years now but this whole past year found out she was havin an affair and covered up an abortion by the guy that alone crushed me,

she begged me to stay then 5 months later find out she filed and she moved back to her moms just dont think its even worth the effort? i dunno


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Maybe 3 weeks is long enough after all in this case. Didn't know your history.


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## betrayed81 (Dec 11, 2009)

nice777guy said:


> In my case - having been married almost 15 years and with two young kids - 3 weeks really doesn't sound like a long time.
> 
> Also in my case - 14.5 good/honest/faithful years, followed by 6 months of BS. I owe it to her, our children, myself and our marriage to be sure that I've done all I can do.
> 
> ...


I have 2 little gurls with her and no 3 weeks might not seem long but she has left before many times and i always end up worst off every time she comes back, obviously i love her and want 2 be with my kids but at this point she is set on the divorce.....all i got is to move on


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## betrayed81 (Dec 11, 2009)

lost1234 said:


> Betrayed,
> 
> although i do feel VERY fed up at times...3 weeks isnt a whole lot of time...
> 
> ...


well i spoke to her this morning and tried to tell her to come to church with me and to try for the sake of our kids and marriage but she would have none of it?

im assuming shes still talkin to the same guy as before or some one else but cant prove it and just dont understand her?

she said shes tried to make it work and how she figures that one is beyond me but she said she wants it and thats it i had my chance?

what chance? she filed for divorc rite out of the blue with out even tellin me she was unhappy...what do u do with that?


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## betrayed81 (Dec 11, 2009)

nice777guy said:


> Maybe 3 weeks is long enough after all in this case. Didn't know your history.


i want it to work out i really do but it seems like this a pattern of hers and everytime shes came back i got hurt worst


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## betrayed81 (Dec 11, 2009)

I hope that it turns out to be 15 years to niceguy but did u say 6 months u been seperated cause at that point ill prolly be moved on and over with my marriage

good luck


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

Similar situation. I tried for 6 weeks. 

Now I am broken and she is enjoying herself with someone else. Been with him since Oct - right after she filed for divorce. No matter, but she isn't even concerned about the kids well being. 

That gets me fired up. 

That gives me the determination to fight the good fight and be there for the kids. 

I hope your situation changes, but for me the OM is like a drug for my wife and even if she's "sick" I cannot forgive her for what she has done to me these past 3 weeks. I will not forgive her for what she has put our kids through for the past 2 months.


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## betrayed81 (Dec 11, 2009)

see my new thread that will update every one here about whats happend i basicly busted her messin with another guy so......its over 4 me im notdoing anything else that has 2 do with her other than the papers sighned and cant wait 2 sighnem


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## karajh (Jul 25, 2009)

SO IF YOUR FED UP like i am i say cut your losses dont hang around and drag things out its just gonna hut you and waste time and energy but i will say i have learned alot from people on here just by reading there divorce horrors..so thanx!

Let me know am i wrong in my view of what i feel?[/QUOTE]


AMEN!!! Sometimes you just have to cut your loss and move on. You will be happier and healthier!

The one thing everyone has to remember is not EVERY man or woman is like this make sure you heal fully before you move on to another relationship or that baggage will mess up the next one!:iagree:


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