# Why are some games so ill-recieved?



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is in reference to the criticism over my thread which details the uses of instilling competition on your spouse. Other "games" I play also involves indifference and playing hard to get, along with romance, the tease and intimacy. Yet it seems the second is more "acceptable" so to speak. And the latter well, it's accepted everywhere.

All can help save a marriage from a lack of attraction and intimacy, but all can also backfire. They are double-edged weapons but if used correctly it can most definitely be useful. The jealousy game AS WELL as the indifference game can drive a people to insecurity. The romance/tease and intimacy can also lead to smothering and being seen as needy.

The trick is to find the balance and be empathetic enough to know when one is going too far. Everyone can relate to how indifference and playing hard to get is very useful, as well as being intimate and romantic. Yet at the same time it seems mentioning about instilling competition triggers a lot of negative responses. But I don't see how it's wrong compared to the other "games".

Even in dating when a woman is found hot by everyone some men would feel she is out of their league. Yet the players find it a challenge to score a trophy. Or when a man withdraws from a woman who he has smothered and made her realise what she is missing, but that too can also lead to her feeling that he no longer finds her attractive.

Why try to deny this?


----------



## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> Even in dating when a woman is found hot by everyone some men would feel she is out of their league. Yet the players find it a challenge to score a trophy. Or when a man withdraws from a woman who he has smothered and made her realise what she is missing, but that too can also lead to her feeling that he no longer finds her attractive.
> 
> Why try to deny this?


Helloooo... I have a question. I would post a picture of myself to show that Im a very attractive woman (but dont want to identify myself bc of the issues I have been talking about on here... but I am hit on any time Im out with friends, myself, and my husband even) and my question is... a man is trying to show a woman what she is missing when he pulls away? 

As a hot woman, when I was dating, if a man did that to me (except for my husband who still does it)... he would lose me forever, no questions bc if it went on long enough I would be like, this is not worth it, there are plenty of others who wont do this! In fact, I did that with my now husband and he came over and begged me to stay with him and he would have more sex and what did I get? A man who deliberately with holds sex bc he knows I like it. Be very careful pulling away from a woman. The more attractive the woman, the higher the likelihood she will think you are being childish instead of showing her what she's missing, instead you will be showing her why to leave you. Just some friendly advice from "the hot woman... "

Not criticizing, just want to give you the heads up.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Some take the view that all of life is a game. Some games are fun, some are serious, others in earnest. Some are downright dysfunctional and abusive and others are extremely malicious and manipulative. There are many types of games people play, when we’re truly aware we can see and recognise the games we play to get what we want out of life and the games those around us play to get what they want out of life.

Good, honourable intent driven by a healthy conscience and moral fortitude are key to playing healthy games. A lot depends on the motivations of the person playing a particular game.

You actually talk of being somewhat dysfunctional. And then in a post down line you’ll minimise and perhaps even deny the effect of your dysfunctional behaviour on your wife.

It’s a true indication of just how unaware you are about the effect of your behaviour on other people that you ask the question “Why are some games so ill-received?”. I actually wonder if you ask that question in earnest given your past posts or if you are yet again being frivolous.

But assuming you ask the question in earnest, then read that book Awareness by Anthony de Mello and you will come to understand how what you do affects those around you. It will take you a while though to “get it”.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> a man is trying to show a woman what she is missing when he pulls away?


 Not always, but possible. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood, other times I'm just tired of having no space. I pull away for many different reasons. As for indifference itself:

Yes the game can be taken out of play indeed as I have mentioned. I call that "boiling the soup", comes with any tease. Boil it too lightly and it won't cook, boil it too much and it's all gone. But why drop the whole tease just because of the risks?

And from experience the level of attractiveness of a woman isn't related to their responses I found, some women fall prey to the tease more easily then others, others just takes more caution. Everyone has their limits in the chase, there comes a point when one just goes "pfft, it's just not worth it, I have other options" - It's all about timing.

So should someone who is smothering his wife not back away and show indifference giving her space and letting her meet him halfway?


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

If my wife did not talk s^it to be she would have almost nothing to say. She probably finds it edgy and charming. I find it annoying and abusive. The truth is, like all compulsions it's a self-soothing behavior.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

*Why are some games so ill-recieved? *

Because people get married to stop playing "games."

It's the point of getting married.


----------



## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

I think its because many people narrow their focus to the word "game" and assume it has ill-intent. One too many nights playing Monopoly with the kids, to realise that the word holds many definitions and can be used in a multitude of ways.


----------

