# I need help with myself now



## Keeps Trying (Mar 14, 2014)

hey all,Im dealing with a break up with my girl after a 7 yr relationship,and Im having issues with dealing with it because of what all she has said.I know the truth but words will stick with u after u hear them and the bad part is she actually believes the nonsense she has said.she gets mad at me for everything,yells,stays mad,and cant let anything go,ect.I have done EVERYTHING for this girl,I have dealt with so so much in the past 7 years,she has to but not like me.I couldn't have been any better to her but she says I treated her like pure crap,says I wasn't affectionate enough except when i was wanting sex and that I didn't respect her but all our friends say (to me) that shes full of it,But I'm upset because she thinks this way about me and within a few days of breaking up she is "seeing" this new guy who treats her AWESOME she says.I tried and tried to get her back before I knew about him but she always says i only try when she says shes done,not true.Im feeling like it is my fault even though I know its not at the same time.I could never make her happy unless I just went above and beyond to rediculas amounts constantly and u just simply cant do that forever.Her feelings and thoughts is what is bothering me I guess.Im depressed,lonely,and look into the night sky wishing I was with her while all the while shes with him happy as can be.


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## Help Me Choose (Mar 4, 2014)

Keepstrying
This is a common story of how a woman ends things.She will (in her mind) make you out to be so bad and re write 99% of your relationship history.Its a bitter pill to swallow but it seems your out with her.Thats it BANG your out. Finnished. And this is basically what has happened to me recently.I have begged her to try again and have said can we work on things and she looks at me like i am a pathetic ghost.We even have a son, she does not care. You will get loads of good advice on this board.You have to give her up.Remember it is pointless to try to keep somebody who doesnt want to keep you.You have took a big hit but you need to keep moving forward..


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## PinkSalmon13 (Nov 7, 2013)

Is there a certain 'type' of woman who does this? I'm in year six of sexless (33 years together), and I find my wife has made me the bad guy, the one in the wrong always, etc, and she is now saying the sexlessness was MUTUAL, which is utter bull****, anmd I can't even believe she went there. She's very smart, very organized, well-educated, etc..........and I guess I always thought women who did this were perhaps at the other end of the spectrum.....not the case. I guess this phenomenon cuts across the spectrum, huh?

OP.....do you have any indication that she was possibly seeing this guy even before you realized there was something wrong?


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Keeps Trying said:


> hey all,Im dealing with a break up with my girl after a 7 yr relationship,and Im having issues with dealing with it because of what all she has said.I know the truth but words will stick with u after u hear them and the bad part is she actually believes the nonsense she has said.she gets mad at me for everything,yells,stays mad,and cant let anything go,ect.I have done EVERYTHING for this girl,I have dealt with so so much in the past 7 years,she has to but not like me.I couldn't have been any better to her but she says I treated her like pure crap,says I wasn't affectionate enough except when i was wanting sex and that I didn't respect her but all our friends say (to me) that shes full of it,But I'm upset because she thinks this way about me and within a few days of breaking up she is "seeing" this new guy who treats her AWESOME she says.I tried and tried to get her back before I knew about him but she always says i only try when she says shes done,not true.Im feeling like it is my fault even though I know its not at the same time.I could never make her happy unless I just went above and beyond to rediculas amounts constantly and u just simply cant do that forever.Her feelings and thoughts is what is bothering me I guess.Im depressed,lonely,and look into the night sky wishing I was with her while all the while shes with him happy as can be.


Is this your girl or your wife?

If it's your girlfriend consider yourself lucky that she's not your wife. If it's your wife consider yourself lucky you have no children. 

Like the other person wrote, hypergamic women use men and dump them when they think they are moving on to greener grass. To minimize their guilt for treating you like dog crap they have to make you a bad guy in their rationalizing hamster brain, so they rewrite history and blame shift. Loyalty and truth doesn't matter to them, only their own selfish needs matter. 

You got played. So did I. Lots of men do. Our only fault was not knowing about the game and being aware. Learn from this. 

Take time to heal from this. First cut all ties with her and go NC. She's not into you anymore so don't bother trying to get her back. It's not you it's her.

Prepare for life without her. Work out, eat better, lift weights, hang out with other men, make money. Along the way while doing this and becoming more Alpha you will meet someone new and better. Don't rush or force things, just work on you.


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## Keeps Trying (Mar 14, 2014)

well,here is the thing,we have broke up several hundred times over the years for different reasons here and there and with every break up we got weaker and weaker I guess,2 or three years ago we broke up for 3 months,I was destroyed and finally I met someone else while she was dating a guy within a week,getting drunk,going wild basically,while it took me 2 months to meet someone but anyways she said she couldn't live with out me anymore and begged me to come back and after breaking things off with the girl i was seeing I went back and things was ok for a while but then we had more fights but she was never with anyone else till this last oct,we got in an argument which she turned into a big fight and I finally told her to forget about me and my son and since we was at a bar she tried just that by getting black out drunk and getting with a guy that night(no sex),next day I tried to make up and she wasnt having it and i worked my ass off the next 3 weeks to get her back,doing everything possible,cleaned her house outside with my pressure washer,detailed her entire SUV inside and out,Trying to do everything I could think of to show her I cared since she claimed I didnt.it was hard,heart breaking,and at several times i thought hopeless,I cried and prayed and talked to friends till I was blue but I never gave up then finally when i decided to give up she came around when I told her good bye,Like i said she always blamed me so I tried to do better to make her happier but I was walking on thin ice and then about 2 weeks ago we broke up again after another little fight turned big.The night we broke up i had taken her on a date,me her and my little boy,she complained the entire time,got mad at my 8 yr old for arguing about something he learned in school,then got mad at me for not jumping his ass for it,then she went on about how I wasn't affectionate anymore (for the millionth time) and on the way home I reach over and touch her leg and said I love u,she got mad saying WHY NOW?! and then she started yelling,making herself madder and madder and all of this in front of my son so I said this is it,we are done,like anyone would have,2 days went by without us talking,I had time to cool down and decided I wanted her back cause I wasn't mad anymore,but she noticed I added 2 female friends on fb and since she didnt allow that while we was together she got mad,so two more days went by with me hoping she would decide to trust me and allow it but she wasn't gonna budge,she said whem i choose her to hollar at her,so I decided she was more important than those friends I added then i told her I choose her she said no,that I waited to long,and that went on for a day of back and forth then then next day or 2 I seen new guys car at her house and I begged and pleaded,wrote her a note that would have made a straight up lesbian fall in love with me but finally she said she was seeing someone and we was over and done because I choose them over her,and I broke up with her and so on,I finally have accepted it but am still dealing with the blaming and anger she has towards me when she made things this way


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So what's your question? Besides reading/listening the books that were suggested to you in your other thread, you could try some individual counselling. There's no magical way to get over someone, but you really seem to have an unhealthy need to be attached to this girl. However, you don't seem to want to listen to the advice already provided, so I'm not sure what you're hoping for now.

C


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## Keeps Trying (Mar 14, 2014)

this has nothing to do with my other thread.thats why i started a new one in a different section.Ive accepted the break up,Ive accepted her new guy,im no longer wanting to beg,and ask her back,so in what ways is it that same as my other.the 1st post in this tread explains what im talking about and asking about,helping understand her accusations and helping myself deal with them so that they no longer effect me,this is country land where i live we don't do counseling around here and I don't read books as u already know PB


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

It has everything to do with your other thread. Your whiny, needy behaviour caused her to lose respect for you. The fact that you can't detach from her now is continuing to cause you problems, as part of this thread.

You've broken up with her. You need to look at her comments dispassionately and see if there's truth to them. Fix the things you see in yourself (thus the books), and let go of being concerned about her. Stop talking to her. Stop talking about her. Develop new hobbies and ways to fill your time.

LISTEN to the books, if you can't read them. If you can't do that, and you apparently can't do counselling, I guess you'll just keep repeating the same behaviour over and over and over again.

C


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## Keeps Trying (Mar 14, 2014)

PBear said:


> It has everything to do with your other thread. Your whiny, needy behaviour caused her to lose respect for you. The fact that you can't detach from her now is continuing to cause you problems, as part of this thread.
> 
> You've broken up with her. You need to look at her comments dispassionately and see if there's truth to them. Fix the things you see in yourself (thus the books), and let go of being concerned about her. Stop talking to her. Stop talking about her. Develop new hobbies and ways to fill your time.
> 
> ...


let me tell u something,u don't know me and u don't know a damn things about me so dont sit there judging me like ure opinion matters to me, I couldn't care any less what u think,U have been the least help of anyone through out any of my threads so u might as well just keep on scrolling when u see a thread that I posted,****!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Dude, you posted looking for advice. If you don't like the advice, don't ask for it. Or learn to use the ignore button. I've heard it works well.

C


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## Kevinb (Jan 8, 2012)

Geez Mate, PBear is just trying to help you. Why so aggressive???


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## Keeps Trying (Mar 14, 2014)

Sorry,we just dont take kindly to people telling us how pathetic we are and saying that someone has no respect for us,that a bold statement to make when he know NOTHING about who she and I are,but either way I apologize.I did some research tonight and learned that my ex has whats called a Cluster B Personality Disorder,the research I read described her perfectly,every detail was her (about 2 pages worth of text),but Idk what to do with this info,I hate that she will deal with this disorder her whole life without knowing she needs help but it will only cause problems if I print her a copy to read or even suggest that she has the disorder.so what should I do?


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

Nothing, Let her go.....


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