# Men, what do you wish your wife would do?



## nme360 (Nov 11, 2013)

Men- what do you wish your wife would do in bed? 
Sex with my husband isn't happening as often as I would like (I've recently posted about this) and when we do have sex, its boring, repetitive, and he's selfish.

I am hoping that if I am more assertive in bed, maybe that will change things up. I'm a little shy. I'm looking to be more adventurous and fun.

So, guys, what do you wish your wife would do more of in bed? Take control? Dress up? 
Thanks!


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I would want my wife to feel free to explore her desires. To open up and talk to me and tell me what turns her on. If she wants to take charge and explore then tell me. If she wants me to take charge to explore her then tell me. 

I want to get her mind turned on as her body will follow where her mind goes.


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

Exactly what Happyquest said. But I wouldn't mind a little bit of dressing up and initiating the moment. To do something to the effect of sticking her thongs in my pants pocket at dinner time and making me think about it during homework time and reading time with the kids......then have her waiting in the bed when I get there.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Here is a good Sex exercise. My wife and I have recently been exploring and expanding our sexuality.
So we set up a day where we would have sex 2 times. One of the times she got to be in control, that means position speed what type of sex, everything was in her power. And the second time I would be in charge. 
She went first, let's just say that was a really good way to find out more about my wife. It was so amazing, I had no energy to take my turn! She like you has been shy. This exercise and others combined with good communication and complete love and affirmation have really been transforming her.
Tell your husband you want a sex day, to play and find out more about each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

nme360 said:


> Men- what do you wish your wife would do in bed?
> Sex with my husband isn't happening as often as I would like (I've recently posted about this) and when we do have sex, its boring, repetitive, and he's selfish.
> 
> I am hoping that if I am more assertive in bed, maybe that will change things up. I'm a little shy. I'm looking to be more adventurous and fun.
> ...


Don't take this the wrong way, but your husband is kind of an idiot.


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## nme360 (Nov 11, 2013)

ntamph said:


> Don't take this the wrong way, but your husband is kind of an idiot.


Did you see my last post or something? Lol. I am going to keep trying everything I can to make our marriage better. That way, if it ends, I can say I tried.

Anyway- thank you for the replies!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

nme360 said:


> Men- what do you wish your wife would do in bed?
> Sex with my husband isn't happening as often as I would like (I've recently posted about this) and when we do have sex, its boring, repetitive, and he's selfish.
> 
> I am hoping that if I am more assertive in bed, maybe that will change things up. I'm a little shy. I'm looking to be more adventurous and fun.
> ...


Sorry he's selfish. Have you tried asking him what he wants? I'm pretty sure he would be honest. Most guys are when it comes to sex.

As for what I would like? To try anal just once. My wife always says, "It ain't gonna happen" but she enjoys anal play. :scratchhead: Additionally (and this has nothing to do with sex), I would like it if she took care of her feet and painted her toes.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I think most men are pretty easy to impress. I'd be happy with just one "new" thing that came from her. Doesn't matter what it is as long as it comes from her desires and it's something new. We've done a lot of new things. I tie her up, we've done anal, oral is pretty common, blindfolds, but these ideas all come from me. There are other things that I don't try because I hope some day she'll initiate it as a new thing. Like dirty talking.

Here's an idea....I've never tried it. But I had a coworker once who told me that she and her husband would sometimes make bets. Like on the superbowl or world series or whatever. And the loser had to be the sex slave for the winner for a day and do whatever the other wanted.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

nme360 said:


> So, guys, what do you wish your wife would do more of in bed? Take control? Dress up?
> Thanks!



Take control sometimes? Yes, definitely.

Let me take control sometimes? Absolutely.

Dress up? Not really. The problem with dress up is that if you are both really aroused, the clothes come off so quickly!

What else I wish my wife would do? Well, you asked for it. These items would be on my Xmas wish list:


Let me give her a real spanking.

Invite a female friend for a threesome (she's up for a MMF threesome, but not a MFF one ). 

Go to strip clubs together more often (I can go alone, but it's much more fun with her)

Tie me up, or let me tie her up.

I haven't read your other posts, but if your husband is "selfish" then there may not be any shortcuts solutions for you. Overall, I would recommend starting by making him feel as desired as possible, and see if things improve from there. If they did, then I would move on to the kinky stuff. Just my 2 cents.


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## Skate Daddy 9 (Sep 19, 2011)

My wife is very insecure about her body so she will not do lingerie and is almost never fully nude when we do have sex. She also never wants to talk about sex, it would turn me on to just have an open conversation about what she might want or fantasies about. If she just spent some time thinking about and talking about what she likes and what she wishes we would try.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

nme360 said:


> So, guys, what do you wish your wife would do more of in bed? Take control? Dress up?


Do you have any clues as to the type of things he likes? Everyone is different of course and some men like it....but my wife has tried to play dominant and it's a complete turn off to me. It makes me completely limp....and I want no part of it. Now her acting submissive, that get's me going every time.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

I will make it short, I would just like her to care about having sex. After that base is covered, i could get more detailed


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

nme360 said:


> Men- what do you wish your wife would do in bed?
> 
> Thanks!


This might be good for out of bed too....shave her legs more regularly and up her girl game.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> ..................
> 
> Here's an idea....I've never tried it. But I had a coworker once who told me that she and her husband would sometimes make bets. Like on the superbowl or world series or whatever. And the loser had to be the sex slave for the winner for a day and do whatever the other wanted.


Betting is a fun thing to do. We make bets for sex but also other things like car washing etc. We are both competitive people and bet to win but when it comes to betting for sex then it is win/win anyway


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

First wife. Leave me alone. She was a royal pain in the ass.

Second wife. Sit on a heating pad and thaw out. Very cold in bed.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I would like her to be assertive enough to just use me.

Never gonna happen though.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

I was going to say cook....but then I read you meant sexually.


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## Rotorhead77 (Nov 7, 2013)

As controlling as my wife is outside of the bedroom, I wish she'd be more so in the bedroom. Although, now that I think about it, she IS that controlling: no, don't do that, I won't do that, etc 

I wish she could be as adventurous and willing to explore my body as I am of hers. Using her hands and mouth on me - and I do mean ALL of me - would really just make so many things better.

That, and anal ever again


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## Antman (Oct 19, 2013)

I would like my wife to initiate more often but more importantly, I'd like her to get some nice lingerie on and come to bed telling me that she NEEDS to have sex tonight.
Simply saying "do you want to have sex" isn't very appealing. I want my wife to show me how much she wants me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

My H likes his fore play. He likes being touched, massaged and kissed. He likes when I lie naked against him so he can feel my breasts against him. He likes his chest hair played with and his ear lobe sucked on. A hickey on his neck is hot too. 

Oh boy...gotta go


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

I wish my wife would take more initiative with the sex, maybe be a little more inventive in the bedroom and especially I wish she would do more oral on me, and I mean full oral. she has only done it once really, another time by accident, she was just too good.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)




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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Hmmm... I like it when my SO puts on a show with a toy for me. Like, he comes home from work, calls to see where you are, and you tell him you're in the bedroom. Where you've worked yourself up close to an orgasm already. As a bonus, since he's selfish, you can make sure you get at least ONE orgasm that night! 

Using mirrors or cameras can be fun as well... Sending him a sexy story in the middle of the day, with an erotic picture of yourself. Actually, going back to the first scenario, one day my SO called me at work and told me to put in my earbuds and pretend to listen to music. At which point, she brought herself to orgasm while all I could do is sit at my desk. Or she gave me a blow job while I was working from home and on a conference call...

Great. Now I'm horny. Again! 

C


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

To always bang the way we do when we take a vacation without the kids. She will really let loose and do things she scoffs at the mere suggestion at home.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

swallow


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

After 33 years together, 25 of them married, we have tried just about everything we have wanted to try:

1.) Anal: Neither of us liked it all that much, I think I liked it less than she did. I had a GF in college who wanted it in the a$$ all the time, and I reckon I got over the novelty.

2.) Bondage/Spanking/Dress up: This is OK, we still do it sometimes, but wish we did it more often. She has a nice black leather corset with cut-outs for her t!ts that she will wear once or twice a year, wish she wore it more often. Tying up and spanking will happen a few times a year as well.

3.) Cumming in her mouth/swallowing: She really doesn't like this much, has tried it several times over the years (mostly when she is drunk), and it either makes her nauseous or gives her a stomach ache (she says its like snot from a head cold in her tummy). She will let me come on her face, which I certainly enjoy, but I really wish she would swallow more often. 

4.) Role Playing: We have talked about going out and having me drop her off near a singles bar, and then I join her at the bar a little later, I watch her talk to guys, and then I pretend to "pick her up". She seems to like the idea, but won't go through with it, she's afraid to run into someone she knows.

5.) Strip Club: We have talked about this, she seems to like the idea, but we haven't actually done it.

6.) Her initiating: I know she has responsive desire, which is fine. But the one thing I wish she would do more often is take the lead in seducing me, and initiating sex. She does this perhaps 6-8 times a year, and I would really love to have her do it more. I never reject her advances, so it's not like she fears being shot down like I do sometimes when I initiate. 

When she had her hormonal surge a few years ago, and wanted it all the time, I was a very happy man!

All in all, I have to say that I am generally happy with my wife in the sex department, it's much better now than it was 5 years ago.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Walk in and hand me all her credit cards and tell me shopping is over rated! Tell me we are selling the 5 bedroom house so we can get a 5 car garage so I can buy more toys.


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## louiswin (Nov 4, 2010)

Oral play. I love to give and receive. She only likes to receive and isn't that much into it. Yes, I have spoken to her about it and she's like, you know how I am.


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## Rotorhead77 (Nov 7, 2013)

Antman said:


> I want my wife to show me how much she wants me.


QFT.



louiswin said:


> Oral play. I love to give and receive. She only likes to receive and isn't that much into it.


Mine's the same way. It sucks. Or, rather, it doesn't


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

louiswin said:


> Oral play. I love to give and receive. She only likes to receive and isn't that much into it. Yes, I have spoken to her about it and she's like, you know how I am.


"Oh honey, I forgot the world revolves around you and you figured you don't really have to do this."


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I wish my wifee would find out her fantasies and do them all.

That when she is in the mood, take the initiative.

Sex more than just once.

Try different positions, techniques, anal, breasts, foot, outside, in the shower, tie each other up, blind fold, oils, you name it.

But the number one thing for me is to get my wife a healthy high sex drive.


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

Come on her face
More role playing
Introduce some toys-which I may try soon


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

Gotta ask, what is it with cumming on the wife's face? Do some wives enjoy this?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

CalBanker said:


> Gotta ask, what is it with cumming on the wife's face? Do some wives enjoy this?


Yeah what percentage?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

CalBanker said:


> Gotta ask, what is it with cumming on the wife's face? Do some wives enjoy this?


No thanks...


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

I have no interest in leaving my mark on her face. But to each their own. Just curious....


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

CalBanker said:


> I have no interest in leaving my mark on her face. But to each their own. Just curious....


I am in the same boat.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

CalBanker said:


> Gotta ask, what is it with cumming on the wife's face? Do some wives enjoy this?


This is actually on of my SO's very few requests to not do. Not her face or hair. Not high on my "fun factor" list anyways, so it's all good. 

On the two occasions where I've missed my mark, she's been very good-natured about it. Even when she didn't find out about her extra "hair product" till after she was done visiting her family after a playtime with me! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

CalBanker said:


> Gotta ask, what is it with cumming on the wife's face? Do some wives enjoy this?


Yes.


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

GettingIt said:


> Yes.


And is this as a wife that wants to please her man, or as a woman that thinks that is hot?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

My H came on my chest twice and each time I got a rash 

He is toxic...


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Tell me half the things she told her AP for starters


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Initiate. She's actually not TOO bad about trying new things occasionally (at least she's getting a little better), but honestly initiating would tell me that she's doing it because she wants it, and not just to make me happy.

Oh, and BJ's.


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> My H came on my chest twice and each time I got a rash
> 
> He is toxic...


Yikes......


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

I actually just asked the wife last night if she would do this for me and she said yes. I'd like to have her in her best bra/panties/garter and thigh highs with her sexiest f**k me heels on!!!! I got an instant rise just out of the thought of it.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

I'm pretty satisfied all things considered--probably in the top 1% of those here, at least based on what I've read. So I don't have a long list.

*Oral. She neither giveth (at least not to completion) nor taketh (says it's too sensitive). I enjoy both. Oh well.

*Toys. At least a couple times I'd like to watch her make herself cum with a toy. She's pretty much a fingers only girl, and I get to enjoy that, so I'm not complaining too much. But to see her combine fingers with a nice dildo--I better stop the description now. We even have a couple, but they sit in a drawer, used only a couple times.

*Talk about her fantasies. She claims she has none. Ladies: Is that believable? I think she's worried I'd consider it being unfaithful, but I don't have the slightest worry about her straying.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

tracyishere said:


> My H came on my chest twice and each time I got a rash
> 
> He is toxic...


My SO has a story about that. She had an internal reaction to her ex's cum uses she orgasmed first. She was quite relieved when she didn't have the same reaction to me, although she often orgasms first anyway. I did some research after she told me, and she's not the only one like that. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

Runs like Dog said:


>


A picture worth a thousand words!

Wow did this make me laugh.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

PBear said:


> My SO has a story about that. She had an internal reaction to her ex's cum uses she orgasmed first. She was quite relieved when she didn't have the same reaction to me, although she often orgasms first anyway. I did some research after she told me, and she's not the only one like that.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Huh. Interesting...I always thought it was made up of the same stuff?!

Maybe it's in the DNA?! lol


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> Huh. Interesting...I always thought it was made up of the same stuff?!
> 
> Maybe it's in the DNA?! lol


I think a lot of that has to do with diet.


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

IndyTMI said:


> I think a lot of that has to do with diet.


So tracy....what you been feeding him then....if he is so toxic......motives?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Lots of spices to spice things up! 

Like I control what he eats:rofl:

If I had that control I would be BOSS:smthumbup:


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## CalBanker (Oct 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> Lots of spices to spice things up!
> 
> Like I control what he eats:rofl:
> 
> If I had that control I would be BOSS:smthumbup:


Ah, lots of Frank's Red Hot.....because I put that **** on everything!!!

Cums out a hot and cookin then!!!!


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

My H will only use Louisiana Hot Sauce. Maybe that's it?! 
Maybe I'm allergic to his sauce?


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

jaharthur said:


> *Talk about her fantasies. She claims she has none. Ladies: Is that believable? I think she's worried I'd consider it being unfaithful, but I don't have the slightest worry about her straying.


My H used to ask me if I have any fantasies, I really only think about what we have done in the past. I don't have any crazy desires that I am hiding. I'm not a very creative person, much more analytical, maybe that is why?


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Giro flee said:


> My H used to ask me if I have any fantasies, I really only think about what we have done in the past. I don't have any crazy desires that I am hiding. I'm not a very creative person, much more analytical, maybe that is why?



My wife says pretty much the same thing. I never really understood this AT ALL. 

I have had various sexual fantasies *since I was 11 years old!!!* (Although at that time the fantasies were rather abstract).

It doesn't have much to do with creativity - sometimes I would create sex fantasies, but often I would simply fantasize about something I read, saw on TV, or saw in my father's stash of Playboy magazines.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Theseus said:


> I have had various sexual fantasies *since I was 11 years old!!!* (Although at that time the fantasies were rather abstract).
> .


Me too.

I wish I could find one of the men that get off on being dominant. Somehow as a submissive, I only keep ending up with men who just want to lie there while 'Mommy' does everything 

Oh, and no. There is nothing fun and exciting about semen in the face, unless you like red burning, painful eyes for an hour. I mean, what exactly about that would be a turn on?

I imagine the great majority of women do stuff like that because they love their man and want to please him, not because they are somehow 'getting off' on it.


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> My H will only use Louisiana Hot Sauce. Maybe that's it?!
> Maybe I'm allergic to his sauce?


too funny......lmao, I hope you meant that as a pun anyways.

I bet the ph levels are just different. I have heard about the internal reaction before.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

marko said:


> too funny......lmao, I hope you meant that as a pun anyways.
> 
> I bet the ph levels are just different. I have heard about the internal reaction before.


That was our theory... That it was a pH issue or something. She would have to go sit in a cool bath after sex. She didn't tell me about this until after our first unprotected time, or I would have been MUCH more nervous about it! I'd never heard of it before.

C


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Enjoy life!
Its OK to laugh at something so much that you cry

Its OK to enjoy sex - if you enjoy what I'm doing to you, let me know. In the privacy of the bedroom and providing we are both happy with it, anything goes

Its OK to try things you have never tried before. How can you say you don't like something if you've never tried it?

Remember that marriage is a team. I'll make sure there is firewood, the cars are serviced and insured etc, you make sure you do your part. I havent got the time to look after my responsibilities in the house and do yours too because you were sitting infront of the TV. We are supposed to be a team, a partnership.

In a nutshell....wake up, smell the coffee! Life is all about give and take. If you want a nice house, car, club membership, overseas holidays etc then its up to BOTH of us to pull our weight.
This is our only life...make the most of it!


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

jaharthur said:


> *Talk about her fantasies. She claims she has none. Ladies: Is that believable? I think she's worried I'd consider it being unfaithful, but I don't have the slightest worry about her straying.


Yes, it is believable that someone might not. I have no real fantasies myself, I figure my SO has enough for us both.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Initiate more. 

Have more overall sexual desire.

Get rid of old inhibitions from the past.

Be more daring and express her own fantasies.

Lose the good girl image at times and be a bad, nasty girl in the bedroom.

Talk dirty to me in the heat of the moment...this would be very much out of character for her.

Use her fingers to masturbate. She only uses toys.

Other than that, things are pretty good.


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## jd08 (Nov 20, 2012)

Act like my wife would be a good first step
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

please do 1% of the acts that you claim to have done with all the others you slept with but neglect to perform with me.


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

Go and talk to someone about her issues or come and talk to some one about the issues she has with me. Anything to try and get things on the road to recovery.


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## Rotorhead77 (Nov 7, 2013)

Found another way of saying what I said before:

I wish my wife would be as interested in getting me off as I am in getting her off.


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

CalBanker said:


> I actually just asked the wife last night if she would do this for me and she said yes. I'd like to have her in her best bra/panties/garter and thigh highs with her sexiest f**k me heels on!!!! I got an instant rise just out of the thought of it.


Nice...that is sexy and very hot.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

jd08 said:


> Act like my wife would be a good first step
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sorry JD, but when I read that....I laughed out loud.  I trust you are being sarcastic.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

hum.....anything


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## HDsocal (Nov 19, 2010)

listen to what I have been telling her for years........

and act like our sex life is a priority in our lives.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Ride me hard and put me up wet.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I remember one more from a previous deleted thread....I wish she would "sit on my face" while I am giving her oral pleasure. I would absolutely LOVE that. 

This sexual position is on my bucket list...and ladies, this is not "gross", it is damn EROTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Caribvistors (Jan 13, 2013)

Reading some of the comments in the previous 5 pages from guys and what they want from their wives in very enlightening. I guess over the many years of marriage I have been fortunate in that my wife has been very agreeable to participate in; oral (loves to swallow), anal (reluctantly), being on top, knees or bottom positions, doing it in our bed, on the floor, in our car, on our boat, in the shower, the swiming pool or in secluded areas outside, 

Also, dressing up in lingerie, including leather (when I ask), talk dirty, be very dominate to me in the bedroom, shares some (?) of her fantasies, allows me to share mine, loves nudity, very infrequently says, "No", and really has no sexual hangups. She is comfortable in her own skin.

What I wish she would do, is maybe initiate more, without asking "do you want to do IT".


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Here's an idea....I've never tried it. But I had a coworker once who told me that she and her husband would sometimes make bets. Like on the Super Bowl or World Series or whatever. *And the loser had to be the sex slave for the winner for a day and do whatever the other wanted.*


*Now that definitely has all of the earmarks of a "win-win" situation!*


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## reef3314 (Nov 13, 2013)

I would absolutely love waking up to getting oral. Best when it's in the middle of the night. My wife has only done this with me once but I loved when she did it. I wish I could get her to do it again but she's pretty selfish in bed.  Throughout the day send random sexts. You don't have to talk super dirty. Just let him know you're thinking about him and send a pic with some cleavage. -Never show your face. Progressively become more risqué. If he's selfish then start on him and when he's near finishing stop. Don't let him finish. It will drive him nuts. Make him start on you before he gets his. It'll give him some incentive.


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## MrDarkDream (Jan 12, 2013)

I would like for my wife to ask me what I enjoy in bed and explore each others fantasies, or at least be able to talk about them.


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## jaunty (Apr 26, 2013)

nme360 said:


> Men- what do you wish your wife would do in bed?
> Sex with my husband isn't happening as often as I would like (I've recently posted about this) and when we do have sex, its boring, repetitive, and he's selfish.
> 
> I am hoping that if I am more assertive in bed, maybe that will change things up. I'm a little shy. I'm looking to be more adventurous and fun.
> ...


What I would try if I was a woman and trying to be more assertive in bed:
1. Try to find out what turns him on but makes him feel ashamed at the same time and based on that (possibly):
1.1 Anal
1.2 Fetish
1.3 Feel like a pornstar in bed
1.4 Maybe watch porn together as foreplay
1.5 Alcohol in moderated amounts before doing it (just to make you blush and loosen up a bit).

Good luck!


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## The Baseball Coach (Nov 16, 2013)

I have given up for this ever happening but I would like my wife to do one or all of the following:

1.	Initiate the sex—For once I would love for her to whisper in my ear that she has been turned on the whole day thinking about having sex with me.
2.	Be proactive in bed. I am tired of starting the foreplay.
3.	Open her mind that oral sex is not bad or sinful. 
4.	Realize that I need sex more than once every two to three months.
5.	Be willing to try out new positions and/or toys.
6.	Let herself go. Do not stop me in the middle of the action because she might lose control of her body and have an massive earthquake so to speak


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

I wish my wife initiated sex. 

I would love her to give me a blowjob ,unasked, while she kneels. I'd like to have sex outdoors possible in a semi risky place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I would not be so sure about it - a lot of people have their own ideas of what they will and will not do, and it would take some serious force or persuasion or what not to add new things to their, ehem, skill set... It's worth a try certainly but make sure the expectations are realistic.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

john117 said:


> I would not be so sure about it - a lot of people have their own ideas of what they will and will not do, and it would take some serious force or persuasion or what not to add new things to their, ehem, skill set... It's worth a try certainly but make sure the expectations are realistic.


Last long lifelong hit the nail on the head. It really depends on how it's done. It really is a....ehem... "skill set" in itself for a man but having read TAM enough you are also correct in that no amount of effort will suffice for some women or certain situations.

Also, whatever you express must be genuine ... Not contrived or goal oriented .


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

nme360 said:


> So, guys, what do you wish your wife would do more of in bed? Take control? Dress up?
> Thanks!


Simple short answer is oral. 14 years and I have yet to have a proper BJ from the love of my life. 

Also I like control games, and dressing up is always good too. Would be fun to take turns tying each other up. I fantasize about her telling me she is mine for the night to do what I want (within reason) and vice versa, telling me I am her toy for the night. 

I'm also a pretty good amateur photographer and would love to take pictures of her and us. I would never want to share them, just between us.


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

As mentioned already on this thread and others...have her sit on my face would be HOT! Ones of these days...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ryker981 (Feb 13, 2013)

M


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Initiate


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## hubby59 (Nov 22, 2013)

Wow! I can think of several things. Wake me up with a BJ. This has never happened. Show up at the door when I get home from work with a short skirt and no panties. Then she takes me by the hand, leads me upstairs, pulls my pants and underwear down, lays on her back, spreads her legs wide, and says, "F*ck me hard!" That would blow me away. Dress up and lots of play acting is fun too. Guys need to feel that you WANT them to screw you. Believe it or not this is a HUGE sign of your love for us.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

My mind is still occupied with the thought of her sitting on my face....OMG.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

I Notice The Details said:


> My mind is still occupied with the thought of her sitting on my face....OMG.


doing a _deleted_?


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

^ Ugh, aug, please delete that post!


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> I would want my wife to feel free to explore her desires. To open up and talk to me and tell me what turns her on. If she wants to take charge and explore then tell me. If she wants me to take charge to explore her then tell me.
> 
> I want to get her mind turned on as her body will follow where her mind goes.


Exactly I want my wife to free her mind


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## elenap (Jul 1, 2010)

jaharthur said:


> *Talk about her fantasies. She claims she has none. Ladies: Is that believable? I think she's worried I'd consider it being unfaithful, but I don't have the slightest worry about her straying.


Does fantasies mean about other men? I'm responding to the


jaharthur said:


> I don't have the slightest worry about her straying.


 I have fantasies about particular acts, but my boyfriend is the protagonist in all of them.


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## cubsfn (Sep 23, 2010)

Initiate ... would be nice ... lol.


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## jacko jack (Feb 19, 2015)

Anything that made her happy.


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## Hailey2009 (Oct 27, 2012)

soulseer said:


> I wish my wife initiated sex.
> 
> I would love her to give me a blowjob ,unasked, while she kneels. I'd like to have sex outdoors possible in a semi risky place.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I now have my weekend plans . . .


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

See, I see this as a very dangerous question to ask in a forum where you have many men no getting much sex and what they do get is of dubious quality. You are never going to get honest answers.

Because what many men will think but never say is that they want their wife to suddenly disappear so they can go find someone else without feeling guilty and without having to pay alimony.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

darn, there is hardly anything on those list that would be a no-no for me, and my husband is hardly intersted in any of them....


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

For me just having sex at all would be an improvement. Once we get there we can talk about the extras. What hurts me the most is that she NEVER initiates.  I think in the end that will be the reason we finally divorce.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I wish my wife would relax. She worries so much about everything, I think that's a big part of her mood-killer.


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## Earl 2 (Feb 11, 2015)

Years ago, before kids, my wife and I used to play "sex scrabble".
I don't recall the points rating we used, but the more points your word was worth, the more you could do to your spouse. 
For example the rating went from 1.kiss, 2.prolonged kiss, 3. above the waist grope, 4. prolonged above the waist grope, 5. below the waist grope, 6. prolonged below the waist grope. 50 pts. was piv.
I don't recall if either of us ever got 50 pts., but we never finished a game.

Sorry, this didn't really answer your question, but it was fun foreplay.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Earl 2 said:


> Years ago, before kids, my wife and I used to play "sex scrabble".
> I don't recall the points rating we used, but the more points your word was worth, the more you could do to your spouse.
> For example the rating went from 1.kiss, 2.prolonged kiss, 3. above the waist grope, 4. prolonged above the waist grope, 5. below the waist grope, 6. prolonged below the waist grope. 50 pts. was piv.
> I don't recall if either of us ever got 50 pts., but we never finished a game.
> ...


My wife would have had the dictionary out, checking my words

:rofl:


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Old thread resurrected from the dead, but still a good topic. While the OP is either long gone or she no longer has this current issue, maybe someone can gleen something from the thread to try at home to get the party started. However, the majority of sexual issues in the marriage are going to boil down to the true root cause being one or more of these issues: biochemistry (low T, low E, thyroid), resentment built up over other issues, loss of respect, never attracted to the partner in the first place and both last and least mismatched sex drives.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

1. Cum play
2. Sex swing
3. Anal
4. Video record
5. Unabashed, untamed, dig her nails into my back till I bleed kind of passion.
6. Toss my salad
7. Swallow
8. Suck me dry after I cum inside her

That about covers it. I'm sure I'm missing something, but I'd be happy with all that 

Thank God I'm probably going to have sex tonight


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> I wish my wife would relax. She worries so much about everything, I think that's a big part of her mood-killer.


Mine too. That is why we leave town for a night every two months. I get a bottle of wine, she soaks in the tub, the kids are taken care off, phones are off.
Game on!

This does two things. It enables her to worry less and let go, and we can cover new ground and draw upon those moments for future application. Rinse, repeat, reach another level.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
what would I like my wife to do for me in bed:

1). Desire me. I want her to want me - and maybe not make it to the bedroom before she has my clothes off

2) Tell me what SHE wants in bed. I get tired of the guessing game. I do anything she asks, but she never asks. 

3). Oral sex. Sorry, its traditional, but I really enjoy it and wish it happened more than once a year for my birthday.

4). More variety

5). A bit of D/S role play. I'd like to be her sex slave for an evening - and another time her to be mine.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Really touch me and hold me, such as sit on my lap and run her fingers through the hair on my head, while she whispers in my ear how much she loves and wants me.
Look at me, like she really desires me
Site next to me and tell me she wants me while she unbutons my shirt, rubs her hands on my chest, plays with my nipples and puts a hand on my inner thigh
The oral that she promised me before we married, but that she will not allow (either give or receive).
Doggy style, especially if she talked dirty to me
Wearing lingere for me in the bedroom while the lights are on and smilling at me while she is doing it.
Telling me that the sex felt so great that she wants us to do it again or at least the first thing the next morning.
Relive the night that our SSM ended, when she took off her pants, stradled me on the sofa, rubbed herself against me, then undid and took off my pants before she took me.


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Here's an idea....I've never tried it. But I had a coworker once who told me that she and her husband would sometimes make bets. Like on the superbowl or world series or whatever. And the loser had to be the sex slave for the winner for a day and do whatever the other wanted.



This can backfire pretty spectacularly. Same thing goes with those sex book coupon book things. I got one for xmas one year from my wife (her idea, thought it would be 'sexy'). I tried to redeem the blowjob one. Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon. Threw the rest of them away. Not worth the obvious bull**** and the fact that it was never a legitimate gift in the first place.

Anyway, as for the actual topic:

1) Blowjobs (I don't even need to cum in her mouth) She did this with ex's.
2) Anal (I have never had the chance to try this.....she has done this with ex's as well).
3) Ask me about my fantasies and pursue them (which, in all reality are VERY vanilla).
4) Tell me her fantasies so I can make them a reality for her (she says she has none. Recently I have learned she doesn't really even like sex, so it is more like duty sex from her in the first place, so I guess maybe she doesn't have any).
5) Initiate (and really want it).

I don't see any of it changing. I have quit hoping/trying.


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## Keen2learn (Mar 29, 2015)

Initiate sex. Everyone likes to feel wanted and desired.
Wear something pretty. you don't need to look like a porn star. And forget worrying about your body. If hubby loves you, your extra few pounds or whatever, are the LAST thing on his mind when you're coming on to him. Open, uninhibited talk about sexual needs/ wants/ fantasies can really be a turn on for both sexes and lead to great sex! He's a lucky guy...


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

altawa said:


> This can backfire pretty spectacularly. Same thing goes with those sex book coupon book things. I got one for xmas one year from my wife (her idea, thought it would be 'sexy'). I tried to redeem the blowjob one. Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon. Threw the rest of them away. Not worth the obvious bull**** and the fact that it was never a legitimate gift in the first place.
> 
> Anyway, as for the actual topic:
> 
> ...


Sorry to see that your list is basically a replay of "she/he did things with past lovers that she/he won't do for me". Hoping that her not liking sex is an indictment against you, but my guess is that she used to like sex before. She ever answer you on why she treats you differently than exes?


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Sorry to see that your list is basically a replay of "she/he did things with past lovers that she/he won't do for me". Hoping that her not liking sex is an indictment against you, but my guess is that she used to like sex before. She ever answer you on why she treats you differently than exes?


No. It is currently a sore subject. There is more to it than I have posted, and enough that I don't feel comfortable posting, but suffice it to say that I have resigned myself to not asking for much of anything. Since we are long distance right now that is pretty easy.

ETA: The funny/sad part is that she says sex with me is better because I actually care about her and pay attention to her/want to make sure she gets off/take care of her, whereas her ex's never cared. I get the feeling some of it is 'bad boy getting the goods' syndrome, which disgusts me. Nice guys really do finish last.


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## shoeguy07 (Mar 31, 2015)

your a pretty lucky guy mine wants nothing to do with any kink. Never do we hold hands, or even have anywhere near the level of physicality that i desire. she also doesnt want to talk about it at all and gets angry if i bring it up. We live apart due to my job and dont see each other for 5 nights a week and weekends i would think would be filled with alot of sexual play and desire but they are truely a bore. The only thing i look forward to is seeing my dad for breakfast every weekend because he's in his 80's and i make it a point to do breakfast every sunday.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I've got everything I truly want, but I suppose I would enjoy more FMF threesomes occasionally.


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## shoeguy07 (Mar 31, 2015)

hmm i read this column and think to myself, I cant believe all these guys have the same issue i have. Ive been married over 25 years and shes driving our sex to 0 times a month also known as never. Heard all the things about the abusive relationships way in the past, which i might add she never has gotten help for. I dont get it and im at wits end not understanding the level of nondesire


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## shoeguy07 (Mar 31, 2015)

altawa said:


> This can backfire pretty spectacularly. Same thing goes with those sex book coupon book things. I got one for xmas one year from my wife (her idea, thought it would be 'sexy'). I tried to redeem the blowjob one. Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon. Threw the rest of them away. Not worth the obvious bull**** and the fact that it was never a legitimate gift in the first place.
> 
> Anyway, as for the actual topic:
> 
> ...


i feel your pain I'm in the same boat


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## RobQ (Mar 1, 2015)

I would be happy with a joint shower or actual lovemaking twice a week. I get a 5 minute handjob on Saturday mornings, that is it.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Guess I never answered this question, so why not?


Oral sex more regularly. I get it rarely and only during foreplay. Last time I had a solid BJ was last month, and that was for only 2-3 minutes before we go to main event.
A little more anal. Last time was last week. We use CO and because it lubricates so well my wife has been more interested in almost straight PIV and dropped anal to significantly lower levels. If I'm lucky, anal is once every 1 or 2 months.
May sound silly, but I would like to try to get her fully excited via foreplay or do the deed while she is trying to talk to someone on the phone. This last happened several months ago and it was pretty hot. Haven't been able to replicate that experience yet.
I want more lingerie and more sexy thongs, bikini style panties, just sexy underwear. It's been YEARS since my wife wore a thong for bedroom games.


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

My wife is going to be here for four days starting Wednesday. I am considering tracking the excuses I get just to see it on paper/screen.


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## Caribvistors (Jan 13, 2013)

RobQ

My wife and I shower together almost everyday, unless I have to go to work early. We have been doing it since we were first married and still both find it nicely erotic. It rarely involves full sexual activity, but there has been a few occasions where things got out of hand.
Like most guys and a number of woman posting on this threat, there are a few things I would love her to do more often, but I think, based upon what has been written that I am in a far better off intimate relationship, so I can't be too greedy.


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

I have been reading the male responses and I can say that there's not much I'm not willing to do with my husband but don't think he'll be willing to try. Why are so many of us are incompatible sexually? ??


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## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

maritalloneliness said:


> I have been reading the male responses and I can say that there's not much I'm not willing to do with my husband but don't think he'll be willing to try. Why are so many of us are incompatible sexually? ??


It's a self-selection issue. Those in relationships where both partners on the same page not likely to be hanging out in forums discussing marital troubles. We're all here for some reason, trying to solve some problem.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Like others on here, initiate sex. I don't bother because she views sex as work and she's always too tired. She'd probably go along, but it would be 100% duty sex, and I have no interest in that. 

In that vein, I'd wish she'd ask her doctor why her drive is zero. I get that being in your late 40's with two little kids in the house is tiring, but why is once a week or every other week so hard? We've had sex three times in the past four plus years, and she's perfectly content to go without sex for the rest of her life. 

Also wish she'd quit viewing her HD friend as a freak because she loves sex. That woman has been through more problems than anyone I know (personal, professional, medical) and still is very HD.


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

Funny story I just thought of. My wife and her sister had a conversation a few years ago. Still not sure why/how I overheard it. Anyway, it came up that her sister gives her husband oral almost every night, with a 4 night/week minimum. When my wife shuddered, her sister looked at her and asked her if she was crazy.

I just kind of looked away and walked out of the room.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Here is what I wanted her to do: 

Just shut up. 

Please just shut the fvck up!


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I wish Mrs.CuddleBug would


- let her insecurities go
- really get into sex
- get a healthy high adventurous sex drive
- into toys, oils, blind folds, etc.
- have fun sex, breasts, feet, anal, 69, in the shower together, you name it
- if she has fantasies she's never told anyone, tell me and surprise me
- don't tell me, I got what I needed......


But she is Acts of Service (not Physical), more LD than anything, vanilla, only seems to initiate when we haven't had sex in weeks. She has come a long way this last year, but she still is who she is and I doubt she will really change. I can always hope menopause gives her a boost


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## jacko jack (Feb 19, 2015)

Good evening

She is a fan of Doctor Who, I am a fan of Star Trek, just wish that she would travel back in time with me and that I could disobey the Prime Directive, she certainly is in a World of her own.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Blankmaier (Apr 8, 2015)

If we ever get back on track, and I hope we do, regardless of how long it may take, having her sit on my face and grind away is the single hottest thing she can do.


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## Caribvistors (Jan 13, 2013)

Interesting comments mostly from guys about their wives and SO and their lack of interest in having sex or making the effort to see it is often "exciting" for him or both. How many of these wives or SO exhibited this lack of interest in initiating, enjoying or trying/doing "different" things while they were dating?

It is not like woman of generations ago that worried, if they fooled around they might have another unwanted baby for her to care for.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Caribvistors said:


> Interesting comments mostly from guys about their wives and SO and their lack of interest in having sex or making the effort to see it is often "exciting" for him or both. How many of these wives or SO exhibited this lack of interest in initiating, enjoying or trying/doing "different" things while they were dating?
> 
> It is not like woman of generations ago that worried, if they fooled around they might have another unwanted baby for her to care for.


I'm going to say close to none of them did that, or the relationship would have been over. The only reason I don't say "none" is that there are people who won't have sex before marriage for religious reasons, and those people might be understandably confused when the magic words "I do" don't usher in a new situation more to their liking.


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## Hailey2009 (Oct 27, 2012)

RobQ said:


> I would be happy with a joint shower or actual lovemaking twice a week. I get a 5 minute handjob on Saturday mornings, that is it.


Ummmm, so the shower thing . . . . it had been awhile for us, but just sorta barged in on him this morning when his eyes were closed shampooing. He was like a kid in a candy shop. Fun. Thanks for the idea, hope it happens for you soon too.


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## Colonel Angus (Apr 11, 2015)

Well the Mrs could let the Colonel live up to his full name.




If I overstayed my welcome, just tap me on the head.


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## tele (Jun 2, 2014)

A man wants a women to take control at times, but a women like's to be taken. (not all the time, but most). 

Both of you should be aggressive- and be open to whatever -tell him what you want and tell him how you want it. Guide him. That will turn him on all in its self. Do some research and you will find yourself getting turned on by looking at sexual positions, how other approach sex.

Being shy about it does not help, it is sex, it is fun. 

The amount of stress release, frustration in everyday life goes away.


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## LetItHappen (Apr 30, 2015)

1) Roleplay. She's pretty much the anti-nerd and sees all roleplaying as stuff that socially inferior rejects do at places like comicon

2) Talk really dirty/call me sir and daddy.

3) Be louder.

4) Get turned on by spanking


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## Zach's daddy (Jan 17, 2015)

1. Initiate sex sometimes
2. Lose the "I'm an angel persona"
3. Be a freak in the bed
4. Take better care of her appearance
5. GIVE BJ'S


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## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

Lingerie. Oral sex (never get it!) New positions. Be dominant in bed. Cow-girl. Dirty talk...

Whatever those superb actresses do in porn. They really know how to tweak the male ego (even if you accuse me of being unrealistic in my expectations).


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

I feel really lucky in some ways after reading some of these posts. My wife will sit and grind on my face, 69, bj's anal, facials and on t!ts. He!! She said she'd sit on a plate at the kitchen table so I can eat her. She just loves getting oral!! 
She finally bought some lingerie and knee high black leather heels. Some nights she actually comes close to begging for anal which I find funny because several years ago she was dead set against it. Some nights she likes the triple crown(oral, PIV and anal)
She also gives mind blowing bj's. 
What I wish she would do is 
1- talk dirty
2- be a little dominant
3- talk really dirty
4- let me cum on her feet (might try this tonight)
5- spanking (I think she would if the kids weren't always home)
6-scream out when she O's and not suppress it. 
7-tell me what SHE wants
69- oh wait, already do that


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## Oldmatelot (Mar 28, 2011)

Can't think of anything she has not tried or liked with me. 
Covered all of the above. There are a few hard boundaries. We would both like a threesome. Her with another guy. Me with another woman. But we have made a decision that it's something that will never happen in our marriage. 
Honestly can't think of anything.


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