# I am not sure of what to do!



## Downandsad (Apr 9, 2012)

I have been married for 8yrs., when we first got together I let him know that I want children and that I love affection. These two things would have been deal breakers for me if he did not want the same. Well, I am not sure of what to do now because I have lost some of the feelings I had for him thoughout the years. He isnt very affectionate at all, the only time he really touches me is when we are intimate. I have talked about this with him several times and he might try for a week and it all goes back to the same thing. At one point he told me he knew thats what I wanted and thats why he didnt do it. A couple of years ago, he told me he didnt want anymore kids as he has two from a previous marriage. This hurt me more than anything because I dont have any. After I threatened to leave the marriage, he all of a sudden changes his mind. Since he told me about not wanting kids, I cant let it go--I dont know if I believe him that he now wants kids. We live in a circle its like we keep going around and around--things are good for a little while then the no affection comes into play and we are back where we were. Then there's the payday loans he never told me about and when he had to tell me because it was too much for him, there were about 8 of them and now since my name was on the checks also, it has hurt my credit too. I feel like I am being cheated in life. He doesnt talk to me about anything and I am tired of being the one who is always bringing up "stuff" its like im a nag or something. A couple of weeks ago, I confronted him about some texts with a female coworker. I dont know why she would be concerned with his porch light being on or what he has to drink--and she seems to think he is so funny. He says there is nothing wrong with him texting her and nothing is going on........well I have one more thing......this past weekend, his brother had a birthday party, all of his family was there--i figured this would be a good time to get away from home and try and have some fun together--well--------after all these years, his family decided to invite his ex wife---Am I crazy or wrong here--I need some advice!! Not sure what to do--I want to leave--but when I think about it I get sick to my stomach--please help someone!!


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Down,
The two of you need marriage counseling right away!

I would not have children with this man until you know for sure that he really wants kids. Tell him to be honest so you can both move on if necessary and be happy.

I would be concerned with the texts. Hate to say it but porch lights are often used to send a signal!


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