# How long did it take for your D to finalize?



## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

I am just wondering how many court appearances, and how long it generally takes?


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

So far for me.....5 court appearances - + 2x child mediation...and it's been 11 months.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Hey Brewster~

I realize this thread may not answer all your questions but it will be a start: What To Do if the Disloyal Actually Files for Divorce.

Personally I believe my divorce took about 120 days but that's because my ex and I had things pretty separated by then and pretty much agreed on who took what assets and debts. It wasn't a "collaborative" divorce but it was not too hostile, and there were a few issues we choose "we agree to let the court order this one." 

The average divorce in the USA takes one year. This article--How Long Does It Take to Get a Divorce--explains it nicely.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Affaircare said:


> Hey Brewster~
> 
> I realize this thread may not answer all your questions but it will be a start: What To Do if the Disloyal Actually Files for Divorce.
> 
> ...


Hey A/C thanks for the reply, I gotta say I am a fan of yours and Petes, 8mo for the first court appearance here in Ca, sad thing is Im still in the fog and really not ready to deal with this.

I gotta get it together, but feel like my whole world is falling apart, first of all even though Im male Im going through empty nest symndrome, my baby just left home 4mo ago and really my whole life was my kids, my work,and my wife. My baby is 23 and we have a great relationship. My work sucks, Im a contractor and with the economy and the fall of real estate values, Im basically ruined, To top it all off my wife leaves me for another.

So heres where Im at, my wife served me papers, I filed the response, I still have 4mo b4 going to court and was thinking of rep myself although I have to say Im starting to think that is a bad idea. I sooo dont know what to do. I dont even want to do this. 

You guys say the cheater is the one in the fog, well Im feeling like im in London.


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## CodeNameBob (Jun 3, 2010)

B59,

You will make it through this, the 4 months will be over before you know it. I understand the fog you are feeling, my divorce is finalized and I am still in it, but the best is yet to come.

My X asked June 1 and papers were signed August 18th by the judge, in NV. Mind you we ended up filing jointly, which she wanted more than I, but I didn't want to drag anything out. I feel good tehn bad everyday, I know you have read my thread, and have seen that I am still in love. The fog will take time to burn off, but it will.

More importantly, you housing is going to get better, even in CA. I too was in housing, new home construction, ran sales for a very large sub contractor, did work for just about every national builder. When things crashed it hit all of us in the industry, not just in work, but in relationships as well. It is easy for people to be with you when you are rolling, but when times get tough the weak and unethical run, i.e. your STBX and my X. They are teh losers in this deal not us, remember that, they are the losers. Things will get better.

I don't know if your are in NorCal or SoCal, but building is going to pick up in NorCal. Don't know what you do exactly sub or GC, but there are things out there. I cut a few deals doing works on foreclosures for banks before I left teh industry all together and headed east. if you want shoot me a message and we can discuss that further.


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