# Women and hot affair sex



## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

I read in the book 'Women's Infidelity-Living in Limbo' by Michelle Langley that women often don't get a sexual high from sleeping with their husbands. She says that many women need the act to be coupled with uncertainty or risk to get the flood of chemicals necessary to keep passion and desire high. This feeling can only be found at the beginning of relationships for many women. 
Boy I hope this isn't true! Can't be true for all, but does make sense in some cases.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

It isn't true. There are lots of women here that prove it isn't true.It wasn't true for me with my exSO.
I was always thrilled and got that high from sleeping with him...there was no uncertainty or risk.But it was the most amazing sex ever.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> It isn't true. There are lots of women here that prove it isn't true.It wasn't true for me with my exSO.
> I was always thrilled and got that high from sleeping with him...there was no uncertainty or risk.But it was the most amazing sex ever.


Hope I am contributing and not hijacking.

What made this true or what was the difference with other men?

Not sure if I am making sense.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> Hope I am contributing and not hijacking.
> 
> What made this true or what was the difference with other men?
> 
> Not sure if I am making sense.


 The chemistry was perfect sexually. He's the first person I ever truly loved so I think that was a huge part of what made it great. I don't think it's possible to have great sex with just anyone.He wasn't ****y or arrogant about anything in life and for me that made the bedroom stuff that much better.

With other men,I always had my guard up.Even with my exhusband.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Thank you, Scarlet.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

That goes for men also because that is when you you can't keep from thinking about the person and want to be all over them as much as possible and you are both doing a lot of hot body exploring on each other . When you couple up and have been together for awhile that when the routine sets in and everybody starts thinking about wha itse to be like.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well the uncertainty and risk goes both ways for both genders, I love it too as a man! As well as the thrill of the hunt! But that doesn't mean I go out and fk everyone I see =/


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

I think it is just an excuse for women to cheat. While it is true in a long term marriage that you do not have the butterflys anymore, I find the sex to be more sensual. I also believe that experimenting in the bedroom (thinking outside the box) can cause the same chemicals to be released.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Absolute rubbish.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> I think it is just an excuse for women to cheat. While it is true in a long term marriage that you do not have the butterflys anymore, I find the sex to be more sensual. I also believe that experimenting in the bedroom (thinking outside the box) can cause the same chemicals to be released.


Why leave it in the bedroom?

Driving through Snowdonia a few years ago, wife said "quick stop, park over there I'm horny now!"

In a friends jacuzzi recently, no room for all of us to sit so wives sat on hubbies lap. She could feel my erection and ever so gently started moving her hips, turned around and grinned at me. It was quite a turn on to be doing something sexual publicly.

Most of our sex is vanilla but we also sometimes experiment, roleplay etc. It seems to work for us.

I think that part of the problem is life, the kids, pressure of work etc. It can be very hard to put the time required into the two of you to make things work.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I think what makes it hot is that with someone new you have no worries which you do in a longterm relationship it juust pure lust and geting to know each other a little after each time you knock boots and a person might do something totally unexpected.

On the other side in a longterm you have somebody that you know is going to excepy you no matter what and you feel a lot more secure.


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## relate (Sep 8, 2012)

I've done a significant amount of reading on this topic and participated in numerous discussions about it and it all tends to turn out the same. Yes, affair sex is often extremely intense, but it's not because of the affair element, it's because of the new partner element. And in either case, the level of intensity is mostly chemical induced. What comes after is pain. In all cases I've seen, even 5+ year long affairs have caused more pain than pleasure after the initial fog wears off. They reach a point where the "on average level of happiness" is very low because of longer periods of pain, uncertainty, stress and anxiety only broken up by those brief encounters with your affair partner. Affairs and harmful addictions share a lot in common actually.

You're not going to have "new partner sex" forever obviously. People that make chasing that chemical high their priority instead of making the transition to real loving with a life partner should probably remain single.


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## TheMonogamista (Oct 5, 2012)

Yes, it's possible to keep the fire and passion strong through the years in marriage. But it takes time and effort as well as mutual willingness and dedication.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Caribbean Man said:


> Absolute rubbish.


Agree 10000% I can't imagine having a affair. My introverted nature, utter all encompassing love for my wife, I think even the thought would be emotional meltdown and anxiety not FUN in the slightest.

I don't even like woman touching me let alone a affair. Then again my wife says I have issues....lol.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> Why leave it in the bedroom?
> 
> Driving through Snowdonia a few years ago, wife said "quick stop, park over there I'm horny now!"
> 
> ...


Are you Welsh? My mother is from the Conwy valley. One of my cousins lives in the park.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

indiecat said:


> I read in the book 'Women's Infidelity-Living in Limbo' by Michelle Langley that women often don't get a sexual high from sleeping with their husbands. She says that many women need the act to be coupled with uncertainty or risk to get the flood of chemicals necessary to keep passion and desire high. This feeling can only be found at the beginning of relationships for many women.
> Boy I hope this isn't true! Can't be true for all, but does make sense in some cases.


Sure it's true to some degree, but that's nature.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Not true. Sometimes there is fire and passion and sometimes there isn't (with my STBXhusband...when we were having sex ....haha). It's what you make it.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

indiecat said:


> I read in the book 'Women's Infidelity-Living in Limbo' by Michelle Langley that women often don't get a sexual high from sleeping with their husbands. She says that many women need the act to be coupled with uncertainty or risk to get the flood of chemicals necessary to keep passion and desire high. This feeling can only be found at the beginning of relationships for many women.
> Boy I hope this isn't true! Can't be true for all, but does make sense in some cases.


I've been married to my guy for 35 years....I still gets goose bumps when he puts his hand on the small of my back or kisses my neck when I going dishes....


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