# what is the deal??



## jforthegirl (Nov 29, 2013)

I have been a member here for a short time, less than 3 weeks. It has been so incredibly helpful to read about others in similar situations.*But the more that I read about these situations, the more of a pattern I see. What the hell is the deal with all of these men and women who up and leave because they aren't in love with or attracted to their spouse any more. And they refuse to try MC, say that it can't be fixed.*Is it a mid life crisis thing? Or it just loses its luster and becomes too routine?I'm baffled at how many of us are experiencing the exact same thing.
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## Gonnabealright (Oct 24, 2013)

I heard one member say after they saw what you have here, that they feel like just another dead body on the pile. It's sad but true. At least you have a lot of support. I've read a few articles on Infedility and it is happening at an alarming rate. 50% with a large increase in women in the last 20 years. It doesn't seem to matter. Some couples were happy, some were not. Some had kids, some don't. What scues the statistics is that there are still many couples that are cheating and the spouse doesn't know and possibly will never know.


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## jforthegirl (Nov 29, 2013)

Wow, just "another dead body on the pile". What an apt description of how this feels. Sad, but so accurate.
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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

I think it seems like EVERYBODY is dealing with wayward/walkaway spouses, because those of us dealing with WS's seek out a place like TAM to find answers because we're not getting any answers from the WS.

From my personal experience, it's been difficult to find the same kind of support IRL as I've found here on TAM. My friends and family are all very supportive, but very few of them have been through a divorce, and even fewer have experienced an emotionally abusive relationship the way that I have. But here on TAM, I've found many kindred spirits. While that may make some feel like "another dead body on the pile" it has the opposite effect on me; it makes me feel less alone. And to get to know other people have gone through the same thing and come out stronger and happier on the other side helped me to soldier on, knowing that there was indeed something better on the other side.

I think it all depends on what type of perspective/lens you choose.


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