# Question for you all



## joanne.kent (Dec 18, 2010)

If you found out your spouse cheated, and you decided to work on your marriage would you wear your wedding band still, or would you take it off?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I did find DW cheating, and I took mine off. The symbolism isn't there, even though we have changed our behaviors for the better and are way better then ever before, the ring just doesn't mean as much as how we act towards one another.

She wears hers and always did. She always told OM's she was married, most cared, some didn't.


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## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

I did find my spouse cheating and we did work on our marriage. We never took our rings off. (Then again, for us it's a secret, so to do so would raise flags)

Understand the symbolism is gone. That's why I wanted desperately to renew our vows on our anniversary. We didn't officially yet, but will.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Our 20th Anny. is in March, we will renew vows in Vages, so I'll wait until then.


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## joanne.kent (Dec 18, 2010)

I can understand why you wanted to keep your pvt life to your selves wish my husband had...but when did you know you were ready to renew your vows?


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## Workingitout (Sep 27, 2010)

My wife was so proud of the 3 carot engagement ring that I bought her, that she chose to wear it to meet her affair partner and he even commented that "it could sink a ship". I would only hope that he would be on the ship when it sank! We never took off our rings! That's the easiest first step to heal. Wear the ring to demonstrate that you are a couple.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joanne.kent (Dec 18, 2010)

If my husband doesn wear it does it mean he deosnt want to make it work?


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

Did he wear it before?

I didn't wear mine for 17 years until I woke up one day and realized that because I was not wearing it - I was in effect not honoring or respecting my wife and marriage as I thought I should. 

Now - It's on 24 x 7


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## Ryley01 (Jan 2, 2009)

My Husband cheated on me at a soccer event where they have to take their rings off to play. He just...conveniently left it off for the whole 4 day tournament. So, when I found out about his shenanigans, I took mine off, and have never ever put them back on, and don't plan on it for a while either. Besides, I lost 30 pounds after the stress he put me through with all of that so the rings would probably fall off anyway. Serves him right.


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

if you are planning on working on your marriage, then keep them on. After I found out my DH was cheating I took them off (he didn't even noticed I did) until I made up my mind to stay and work on the relationship. I haven't taken them off since (except when I rock climb).


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## Squiffy (Oct 26, 2010)

I never took mine off, even after I asked him to leave, there were so many other things happening that I just never thought about it! 

But I'd imagine if you were working on your marriage, you would keep your ring on? If you took it off, could it be seen as being not that keen?


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## Dowjones (Sep 16, 2010)

Joanne, I actually threw mine away, but my wife found it and gave it back to me. When I put it on again she cried for hours and it was one of the happiest moments since her affair.


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## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

joanne.kent said:


> I can understand why you wanted to keep your pvt life to your selves wish my husband had...but when did you know you were ready to renew your vows?



As soon as I knew my marriage was going to survive and we were going to make it work. Just a few days after the A was discovered/ended I guess. 

To be honest, for me - your question made me think. You see, the thought of taking off my ring never occurred to me. I mean, it never even crossed my mind as even something to think about. I guess my head was spinning from everything else!


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I don't wear mine now, but if my wife wanted me too I would.


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## joanne.kent (Dec 18, 2010)

I have kept mine on because thats the way he wanted it, but he refuses to put his on he carries it on his key ring. It hurts a lot because he wants me to keep mine on if i even take it off to peel potatos or do something to where i would not want to get it dirty i get the 3rd degree. Sometimes i think he forgets he doesnt have it on, but if i try to ask him to put it on it starts a little fight. I know i took mine off when he wanted to be seperated, but i put it back on.


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