# Lawyer selection



## Enuffalready (Jul 27, 2016)

How does one go about selecting a lawyer? No help from family or friends.
Also should I seek a seperate financial advisor or let the lawyer handle everything?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There are quite a few lawyers who will give you a half hour free consultation. 

Do some research for divorce laws in your state. There are even books available about divorce in each state. Get some questions together and go interview at least 3 lawyers. Then decide which of them you want hire. 

Just remember you want the lawyer who will keep things from escalating into a huge fight. The only one who wins when divorce turns into WWIII are the lawyers.

If you think that you and your STBX can do it, get a mediator. That's even cheaper than a lawyer.

Whether or not to get a financial advisor depends on your financial situation. If there are a lot of assets, a business, and lots of conplications you might need a financial advisor. If your finances are pretty simple, no you do not need a financial advisor.

Start out with just an attorney. The attorney will help you figure out what you need.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*As with most everything else, just get references from family, friends, co-workers, church members, or business associates!

That's a much better route than randomly picking one from the yellow pages or on the Internet!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enuffalready (Jul 27, 2016)

I made an appointment with one lawyer and the lawyer said I should make it for an hour to be able to cover everything. I did and paid for the second half hour. I downloaded work sheets from the lawyers website and we went over the work sheets. I received some good information but I feel like it is like buying a car don't want to buy the first one I find.
Meditation will not work she wants half of everything including my salary. I have a couple of IRAs from previous jobs and some small stocks.
There probably aren't "warning signs", just go by gut feel?
Also is it worth it to take money out of 401k and IRAs to pay for divorce? I don't even have retainer fees.
Thanks,


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You need to look up with laws in your state. Since we don't know what state you live in, it's hard for us to know the details of what you are facing.

Does she have a job? If so what percentage of your joint income does she make?

In most states, she will get 50% of all assets and debt.

She will get part of your 401k and ira's as long as the money was put in them while you were married to her.

Ask a lawyer about withdrawing from the 401K and IRAs for a retainer.

Where will she get the money for a lawyer?

You say that she wants 50% of everything. But then you say that you don't have the money for a retainer. So what is the 'everything' she wants 50% of?

A mediator will work fine if you stick to what the laws of your state say. Just tell the stbx too bad that's the law.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Oh, and how long have the two of you been married? How many kids and what are their ages?


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## Enuffalready (Jul 27, 2016)

I live in Ohio. She is a stay at home mom. Kids are all over 21 except the youngest which will be 18 in November. She wants 50% of the house which we have a lot of equity in. Married for 35 years. I have a couple of IRS's I'm sure she'll get half of that. I really didn't want to touch the IRA to pay for the divorce. I'll get a 10% penalty and capital gains tax. I'll probably have to pay for her lawyer since she doesn't work. The lawyer I consulted with said I would only have to pay her 1/3 of my income. Also some of the equity I put in the house was an inheritance and I am entitled to all of that money.

No affair 100% faithful.


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## JeremySParadis (Aug 12, 2016)

A good lawyer is the one who stands whenever you need them, must be in contact with you, must answer your texts,calls and mails, must discuss with you the scope and time required for your case.There are a few expectations you should keep from a lawyer. There is a friend of mine who went through the same situation last year. His attorney took care of all his matters and got his problem solved. You can read review and can decide then. Good luck.


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## Camper292000 (Nov 7, 2015)

I've had BAD BAD lawyers. Omg. They follow a process.... The increase hostility..... And they break the law and you can't touch them. Definitely get a recommended one. Where are you?


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