# Will you wish your ex a Merry Christmas?



## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

My stbxw left our marriage for the second time a few weeks ago. As with the last time, she did not give us/me a chance to work on things. She made a decision and ran. We'd reconciled, but old patterns developed, and I got the feeling she came back to her plan B and not because she really wanted to be with me. She developed feelings for someone else, and that was the catalyst to her leaving. She claims nothing happened and she is not together with that person (a woman). It was rough for the first few weeks, but this being the second time through hell, it's not as bad by far. I'm doing ok and this time am owning that it's over for me. Took a while to get here. Our anniversary would have been on January 1st.

My questions to you:
1) Will you be wishing your ex a Merry Christmas and/or Happy New Year?
2) If she wishes you a MC or HNY in any way (email, call, in person, etc.) would you wish them the same or even bother to respond?

Personally, I'm going to send a Facebook message to my in-laws to wish them a Merry Christmas and HNY. I will keep it positive and drama-free. As for my stbxw, I do not intend on wishing her anything, and will not respond if she sends me any kind of message about Christmas, New Years or our anniversary. There is no point, and besides, if would just feed her ego.


----------



## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

1)No, 2) i dont think so.. 

next question should be, how much will/would you spend on you Ex for a gift if you have kid/s ?


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Nope. No Christmas wishes from me. 

I haven't gotten their dad anything from them. I assume his girlfriend has that covered. He didn't take them out to get me anything for my birthday last month so I don't feel the need unless they ask me to take them out.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

RisingSun said:


> As for my stbxw, I do not intend on wishing her anything, and will not respond if she sends me any kind of message about Christmas, New Years or our anniversary. There is no point, and besides, if would just feed her ego.


I have to admit, I was sortof hoping for a happy birthday text from my ex last month simply so I could ignore him . But, it didn't happen.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Sammy64 said:


> 1)No, 2) i dont think so..
> 
> next question should be, how much will/would you spend on you Ex for a gift if you have kid/s ?


*As far as for my first wife, my son's mother, I will not only wish her a "Merry Christmas," but will also be participative in getting her a gift! Early on in the D process, we were not cordial at all, but times and her health conditions have changed. She loves our sons and through her own shortcomings, regained respect for me!

Now as far as my lying, cheating, unrepentant, self-centered, self-righteous, remarried RSXW is concerned, I absolutely wouldn't wish nor give her "the time of day!"

Now as to all of my in-laws within her family that I fastidiously learned to love as my very own family, I would treat them with the same love and respect that they have always afforded me!

But I have no respect whatsoever for unrepentant cheating skanks!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

I will definitely not be buying any gifts for my stbxw. Oddly enough, a week before she left out marriage she was teasing me by telling her mom she's ordered my Christmas gift. A week later she went running away. 

This will be my second Christmas without her, so it won't be so bad this time around. I'm fortunate to have family to celebrate Christmas with, and I'll be seeing friends over the holidays. Won't be so bad at all.


----------



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I wouldn't wish ill will, but based on the circumstances, I wouldn't wish her anything. 

I'd be indifferent. 

If she wished me a merry Christmas, I'd again, respond with indifference. Which basically means, I wouldn't respond.


----------



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

1) no.
2) no
and as for a gift, he owes me money, so I do not feel obligated to spend any of mine on him.


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I will not, he will not. If he happened to say it, I would likely respond with a thank you and nothing more. The first year we were apart for the holidays I did get a small present <$10 for my daughter to give him - I wanted her to enjoy GIVING things as much as getting. By the following year things were contentious enough that I didn't. Occasionally if my daughter ASKED for money to buy something I might give her a budget - usually only a card for father's day. But when I got nothing because he didn't return the favor (and I think she was afraid to ask), I had to say no and point out that her father didn't reciprocate and help her get a birthday/mother's day/holiday card or gift for me and I didn't think it was fair I did.

It's really sweet now how she will surprise me with things. Except I think this year she won't. She's becoming very selfish. I'm going to nip that.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Satya said:


> I wouldn't wish ill will, but based on the circumstances, I wouldn't wish her anything.
> 
> I'd be indifferent.
> 
> If she wished me a merry Christmas, I'd again, respond with indifference. Which basically means, I wouldn't respond.


 @Satya, you just threw me for a 10 minute loop. I read your post and was like, "Whoa, wait, I thought Satya was a woman!! Is she gay?" So I went back and read a few of your posts, where you reference your ex as a man, now doubly confused. 

Until I realized you were answering RS directly on how HE should handle his ex. 

OK, more coffee and back to work for me.


----------



## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

Satya said:


> I wouldn't wish ill will, but based on the circumstances, I wouldn't wish her anything.
> 
> *I'd be indifferent.*
> 
> If she wished me a merry Christmas, I'd again, respond with indifference. Which basically means, I wouldn't respond.


I think that's the way to go.. indifferent.. My daughter is still young, 11yrs old and she does not have a lot of cash on hand so i try my best to cover what she wants during this time of the yr even know it kills me inside to spend any cash on her mother, but i dont tell her that and just bite my lip. She does work it off thought, Nothing is Free is what i am trying to teach her these last 2 yrs. 
Plus she is getting a trip to SD and Vegas this yr.


----------



## NoMoreTears4me (Oct 21, 2015)

No I will not wish her a Merry Christmas. Not in any way shape or form.


----------



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> @Satya, you just threw me for a 10 minute loop. I read your post and was like, "Whoa, wait, I thought Satya was a woman!! Is she gay?" So I went back and read a few of your posts, where you reference your ex as a man, now doubly confused.
> 
> Until I realized you were answering RS directly on how HE should handle his ex.
> 
> OK, more coffee and back to work for me.


Hah, just seeing if you're awake.
Yes, I was putting myself in his shoes. It's kind of how I think, but I often forget that others may be taking a more 3rd person approach.


----------



## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

1) No for Christmas because I have no intention of seeing her. Yes for New Years since we have mutual friends coming to visit and we will be around each other. She doesn't mean enough to me for me to be an &ss to her in front of my friends. 
2) Yes


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

The old me would have considered sending him a giant dog poo in a beautifully wrapped box. And then not done it. I made some cookies with my son for him (my sons too little to make them solo just yet) so that he has something to give his daddy. I don't plan on giving him anything, not even a dirty look. We're a bit short on cash because of the impending divorce so homemade gifts this year for his cousins, grandparents etc. on his dad's side. I thought about not doing that as part of me feels my Ex's dad can bite me - he doesn't even respond when I say hello. But in the end, they're my sons grandparents so we're going to have to find a way to get along eventually. This might be a nice first step in bridging the gap. Even if grand daddy rather deserves a kick in the teeth, it doesn't seem very Christmassy to give it to him, nor a good example for my son.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

No and no.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Satya said:


> Hah, just seeing if you're awake.
> Yes, I was putting myself in his shoes. It's kind of how I think, but I often forget that others may be taking a more 3rd person approach.


*Thank God, you're a lady! Wouldn't have quite known what to do otherwise, Darling!!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## BBF (May 21, 2015)

Can't. No cell phone reception in Hades. There is mail service but everything burns up during delivery.


----------



## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

It was my soon to be ex-husbands birthday recently and I didn't wish him a Happy Birthday. Three days later it would have been our 14th wedding anniversary but I didn't message anything about this either. With Christmas and 2016 just around the corner, I will not be sending greetings of any kind. However, if I receive any wishes I will ignore it. This has been a year I would rather forget! To everyone else, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, 2016.


----------



## honeysuckle04 (Jan 25, 2011)

Stbxh wished us a very pathetic mopey merry Christmas as he was putting my sons present in the back of my car. Didn't respond, no one did. He was soon on a bus to his **** for the holiday.

Went to his parents yesterday for a visit and it was such a warm welcoming nice visit, very different when he is there. 

So no I will not acknowledge his sad guilt laden well wishes but I will give as nicely to his family as I would to mine. 

I have a question-what does it mean when he does the mopey pathetic, feel sorry for me thing to me and the kids or anyone else he comes across when his next move is to be whatever he wants all about him for him and no cares to anyone who disagrees with his choices?
Why does he bother putting on the act?


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Unless there are children involved, there's no reason to keep in touch after a divorce, IMO. When there are children involved, it's best to keep things as civil as possible, and had my ex not been living with someone else quite so quickly, I might have sent him a Christmas greeting. By then, though, (4 months later) 'rebound woman' was already causing so much crap it wasn't an option - then or any time afterwards. Heck, she even had the gall to insist that her bratty 15 year old daughter accompany my ex to our son's kindergarten nativity play (after 4 months of dating), where said 15 year old sulked and glowered throughout!


----------



## unkn0wn (Sep 8, 2013)

1 - Nope 2 - Nope. 
Same thing happened to me beginning of December for the 3rd time. I don't understand how some people can be so heartless but now I believe it's influenced by my in laws so I have told them all they are dead to me and I only keep in contact with my stbx wife about my kids. 
She came out with some presents after I dropped kids off when I had the kids for couple hours yesterday I said take them presents back I don't want nothing from you to which she said they are from kids so I just said nothing and once kids had gone drove off. 

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk


----------



## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

I did wish my recently separated from H a merry christmas. He called me, he has no one. I have the kids. His own parents are to self absorbed to even call and wish him a merry Christmas much less invite him for a visit. Infact they canceled on him coming to visit due to issues with other siblings. 

I took the kids to his house Christmas morning to open gifts. He came to my parents house. After 20 years of marriage they, my parents, are the only "family" he has. Even with our issues Christmas is a time of forgiveness and good will towards men. And so it was. After I spoke with him the next day we had an argument. Oh well. Life back to normal. 

And yes I bought him a gift and he bought me a gift. I got him a razor kit from Wal-mart. I also made him a basket of homemade goodies. I hope that reminds him of what he is missing this season because he is not nice. He got me a vaccume for the car, no more messy car. His number one pet peeve is a messy car by the way. He also got me an Armoral car cleaning kit, casue I just love to spend my days washing my car, NOTTTTT.Any way. YEsterday was a day for forgiveness and good will towards men, not today. So there. 

Hope the rest of you had a merry christmas, and that your new year is better then the last.


----------



## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

I was tempted to email or text my stbxw Merry Christmas, but didn't. She didn't either.

The ease with which she dropped me from her life still stings sometimes. It's odd to miss someone who probably doesn't miss you and wanted out of the relationship for a while. That will take a while to settle and get over.

Christmas was pretty good, all things considered. I was fortunate to be with family and I've been seeing friends during the holidays.


----------

