# Minimizing that insults your inteligence



## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

I was reading another post where a WS attempted to minimize their A by making an asinine statement to the BS. Got me to thinking about one that my WS said to me after her I confronted her about her 2 year PA. Almost humorous as I look back on it.

"It's not like we had sex that often. It was probably only once a month at the most." 

Any BS's (or WS's) out there with some other gems?


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

And you were getting it once every two months...

stuff I read here.

"It wasn't that great"

"He was smaller than you."

Oh so great a consolation.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

...."It was ONLY sex"

...."It was ONLY once"

...."It wasn't anyone you knew"



....yeah ....all those wonderful explanations ought to keep the gun away from someone's head.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> And you were getting it once every two months...


Sounds about right.


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## Baseballmom6 (Aug 15, 2012)

"I am not cheating."

Then after I showed him proof he later said "One of these days you and the kids will understand why I did. You will all be better off without me." 

WTF? Still don't quite understand what he was saying but I think he was alluding that he had some deadly illness. My response was "Whatever makes you sleep better."


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

badmemory said:


> I was reading another post where a WS attempted to minimize their A by making an asinine statement to the BS. Got me to thinking about one that my WS said to me after her I confronted her about her 2 year PA. Almost humorous as I look back on it.
> 
> "It's not like we had sex that often. It was probably only once a month a the most."
> 
> Any BS's (or WS's) out there with some other gems?


X is cheating on Y... My cousin is cheating, our neighbor cheated once, I think this one and that one broke up because she cheated, I think my sister cheated on her husband, I'm pretty sure he cheated with z before he cheated with me.. Tom cheated on Sue, Mary cheated on Harry..

We had sex on the floor, the bed would have been disrespectful.. (later found out, ya sure.. )

Just friends.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

A couple months prior to our 16th wedding anniversary, I found out my now-ex husband had been a serial cheater for pretty much the entire marriage. One of the things he said when he heard me use the term "serial cheater" has really stuck with me:

_"You're making this huge deal about what was probably, combined, no more than 6 minutes of pleasure!!!"_

Considering that he'd had at least three ONSs and at least one longer PA, I'm not sure my intelligence was the only thing insulted...and, ummm, _minimized_...by that statement.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

russell28 said:


> We had sex on the floor, the bed would have been disrespectful..


:rofl:


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

I just pecked him on the cheek

I never had an orgasm

I didn't enjoy it

Apparently men need sex

It's just sex

Cheating happens all the time

Get over it, I have. It was ages ago


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

My wife claims that her years-long EA never went physical because the AP "had principles."


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Caught my exW was exchanging "I love you"s with some tool that lives in a town about an hour away, and whom she met up with regularly, alone, over a period of months, ostensibly for triathlon training sessions. She tried to tell me the most they ever did was kiss. Uh huh. I also laughed at her friends who believed her that there was nothing more (as if that isn't enough), after she came clean for lying to them about being in an affair.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

badmemory said:


> :rofl:


Ya, she got the look like "did you just say something so stupid?" and "how stupid do you think I am again?" combined.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Philat said:


> My wife claims that her years-long EA never went physical because the AP "had principles."


A new oxymoron to go along with - honest thief and military intelligence. A principled marriage wrecker.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

russell28 said:


> Ya, she got the look like "did you just say something so stupid?" and "how stupid do you think I am again?" combined.


Been there bro. I wish people could have seen our facial expressions.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

badmemory said:


> A new oxymoron to go along with - honest thief and military intelligence. A principled marriage wrecker.


Yes, I got the distinct impression upon hearing this that I was supposed to admire them for their principled restraint. In an exercise of my own restraint, I said nothing. I consider this more amusing than insulting.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

"We only kissed for 2 hours, nothing else happened"

HAHAHAHAHAHA

yeah f'in right!


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

I had several, but here’s a couple that stick in my head.
“We talked about sex a lot more than we did it.”
“We didn’t do anything you and I haven’t done.”
And for why they broke up for a bit and were arguing... “He was cheating on me.”


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## looking for clarity (Aug 12, 2013)

I never used escorts. Why would I pay for sex when I have you. He told me this after I showed him the texts where he is negotiating with escorts on "donations." There's a lot more but it's too much to write out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

My ex-wife said I knew about her affair because she admitted to a one-time thing years before admitting that it really went on for 9 years and continued covering up lies another 6.

Her reasoning?

The sustained affair was just "detail."

She actually tried to convince me that there was no difference between knowing of her so-called one-time thing and a long-term affair.

She also said, "It's not like I was wh0ring myself all those years."



:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

The first comment I heard. We did not have sex that often about once a month.

She forgot to mention the 5 calls a day, sexting and photos.

She also tried to minimize with he has an ED issue.

Really like that helps


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Racer said:


> I had several, but here’s a couple that stick in my head.
> “We talked about sex a lot more than we did it.”
> “We didn’t do anything you and I haven’t done.”
> And for why they broke up for a bit and were arguing... “He was cheating on me.”


I got something similar to this :

------------------------------------

ME : Why are you arguing with OM?

WAYWARD WIFE : He accused me and you of of cheating on him...

------------------------------------


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

michzz said:


> My ex-wife said I knew about her affair because she admitted to a one-time thing years before admitting that it really went on for 9 years and continued covering up lies another 6.
> 
> Her reasoning?
> 
> ...


No, a wh0r would at least get paid, not give it away for free...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

"It's not what you think."
"It's not as bad as it looks."


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

When I blew her EA out of the water she told me a story of what this situation was in her eyes, "He was an ex that hurt me, I just wanted him to want me again so I could hurt him" and said "I would have told you about it" 

Erm, no, it was supposed to be her little secret, I was never supposed to know anything.

When I asked her why she instigated the "sexy talk" and encouraged him, she simply cuffed it off with "I wanted him to think about what we used to do so he would want me more", I was dumb founded as to what was so special about someone that actually dumped her that warranted risking her marriage for???

And then she actually expected me to believe that she wasn't thinking about "past encounters" either 

Wonders will never cease, she has really come a long way in getting over the past, and actually dealing with the issues in our marriage.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Racer said:


> I had several, but here’s a couple that stick in my head.
> “We talked about sex a lot more than we did it.”
> “We didn’t do anything you and I haven’t done.”
> And for why they broke up for a bit and were arguing... “He was cheating on me.”


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

"I really think you should meet xxxx. He's not a bad person!":rofl:

Some time later we accidentally met him and his new wife. The old one had divorced him!:smthumbup:

I looked at his new wife and realised she was very tall and had a pair of melons jammed down her top!

What with resisting the temptation to punch him, to try and not ogle her t*ts and to try to appear cool, it was an interesting couple of minutes! :rofl:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

mahike said:


> The first comment is one I heard. We did not have sex that often about once a month.
> 
> She forgot to mention the 5 calls a day, sexting and photos.
> 
> ...


Aha! But now you know why she kept a piece of dowelling and a ball of twine in her bag!:rofl:


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

I also got “I started flirting and talking to OM#2 all the time to help me get over and end it with OM#1"...:banghead:


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Oh yeah, I never put this in it's right context when previously quoted on TAM just after DDay.

My WS told the POSOMongrel - "You do know that I love you, don't you"

I would never had seen this if his ego hadn't needed to cut and paste it into his last ditch effort to rekindle in March 2013. It was 12 months since she'd sent that to him (March 2012). Proving also that the EA was well underway back then - all denied of course.

When I asked her about this she said - 

"Oh that?! I was just joking!!"

and

"You know how things can be misinterpreted in e-mails"


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

When busted, my WS told me that her cheating was all my fault.

F-ing really?


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

"It didn't/nothing happened!"

Ohhh and so much more I could write...but time for sleep.


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## Emptyshelldad (Apr 29, 2013)

She looked me in the eye, and I said "I swear to god I would never ever cheat on you" Meanwhile she had just sent her latest round of naughty naked pics from our bedroom to other man.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

Racer said:


> “We didn’t do anything you and I haven’t done.”


I heard this as well.

Gee, thanks.... :scratchhead:


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

badmemory said:


> Sounds about right.


Badmemory, did you get your threesome ?


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Racer said:


> I also got “I started flirting and talking to OM#2 all the time to help me get over and end it with OM#1"...:banghead:


This reminded me of a good one... 

"I wanted him to find someone else, I kept asking if there wasn't someone new at his new job that he was interested in"

I asked why she didn't just suggest he be nice to his girlfriend instead, since he already had a primary relationship, why does he need a secondary one? ... and does that mean you were already looking for your next OM? Since he wasn't doing it for you anymore? Or if you were done, just end it? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

"It was only sex. And everyone lies about sex"


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Badmemory, did you get your threesome ?


Interesting that you ask about that because I've thought about what she'd do if I asked her to do that. But I've got enough to overcome without complicating things more.

But she still denies it happened even to this day. Never mind I've got two pages of e-mails detailing the event (her WMW 3-some). Maybe that's one reason she's afraid to admit it.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

After catching my Ex on multiple dating sites looking for women, countless text messages/phone calls to several women, unexplained "errands" he had to run alone at odd hours, and that trip he took alone to another State to visit a buddy of his who happened to live in the same State as a woman who my Ex was having an obvious EA with - he said the following:

"But I never had SEX with any of those women!"

So, either I believe that he is telling the truth and all of the above isn't cheating, or I believe that he tried like heck but couldn't "seal the deal" with any of those OW so he isn't cheating. 

And this, my friends, is why I am divorced.


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## Want2babettrme (May 17, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Aha! But now you know why she kept a piece of dowelling and a ball of twine in her bag!:rofl:



Yes, erectile dysfunction treatment under Obamacare consists of a popsicle stick and duct tape. 



Minimizing I got from my long distance relationship girlfriend when I could tell something rotten was going on: "Well it's hard when you're there and I'm here."

I should have asked her to clarify for me what exactly it was that was "hard."


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## Annesnerl (Dec 8, 2013)

Caught my husband in his office with his pants down during lunch-he claims he was just looking at porn and masturbating-since he refused to open the door-not sure. But when I asked him why this would happen in his office during lunch-he said" most men do this during lunch in their offices"...


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Annesnerl said:


> " most men do this during lunch in their offices"...


Damn, I've been missing out. I need to have a lock put on my office door.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Annesnerl said:


> Caught my husband in his office with his pants down during lunch-he claims he was just looking at porn and masturbating-since he refused to open the door-not sure. But when I asked him why this would happen in his office during lunch-he said" most men do this during lunch in their offices"...


This is true, I work for a large corporation and many times the males at our company are wanking it during lunch. It's very common to go by offices at lunch break and see men with pants down surfing porn on company computers. They send out a memo if there's going to be a client visit, so we can pull our pants up.


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

Quote from D-day, and this is one, like many is etched in my brain forever. 

During her breakdown- in her defense, I've never seen anyone cry and talk that much without passing out before. 

WW- " I don't even really like him that much"

Me- proceeds to show her the pics of her blowing him like a hoover vacuum on overdrive.

Game. Set. Match. 

She got served so hard on that day. I almost felt kinda bad.... Almost, lol.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Philat said:


> Yes, I got the distinct impression upon hearing this that I was supposed to admire them for their principled restraint. In an exercise of my own restraint, I said nothing. I consider this more amusing than insulting.


And this is usually the point in the "conversation" where steam escapes my ears and my head starts spinning. It all goes red after that. I have heard similar lines.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

TheFlood117 said:


> Quote from D-day, and this is one, like many is etched in my brain forever.
> 
> During her breakdown- in her defense, I've never seen anyone cry and talk that much without passing out before.
> 
> ...


If she liked him more, she'd have gone all Dyson Animal Full Kit on him..


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

russell28 said:


> If she liked him more, she'd have gone all Dyson Animal Full Kit on him..


Do NOT talk about my beloved Dyson like that!!! Rude


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

On the other hand if she had gone full Dyson on him, that would have given him the castration he deserved. They don't leave a speck behind!


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## Stronger-now (Oct 31, 2013)

Rowan said:


> Considering that he'd had at least three ONSs and at least one longer PA, I'm not sure my intelligence was the only thing insulted...and, ummm, _minimized_...by that statement.


Hahahahaha. He is not even a one-minute man then? 



Philat said:


> Yes, I got the distinct impression upon hearing this that I was supposed to admire them for *their* principled restraint. In an exercise of my own restraint, I said nothing. I consider this more amusing than insulting.


Their? I thought she said "*his* principle?" 



Annesnerl said:


> Caught my husband in his office with his pants down during lunch-he claims he was just looking at porn and masturbating-since he refused to open the door-not sure. But when I asked him why this would happen in his office during lunch-he said" most men do this during lunch in their offices"...


And that's why we all have to have hand sanitizer in every (male) desk in every office now, and put up the sign "don't forget to wash your hands" in every male toilet. From now on, I will give every male business contact and colleague a fist bump instead of a handshake. Don't want to risk it.

Is it weird that I find this thread hilarious? The sh*t coming out of their mouth. SMH.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Mine: And there are quite a few but I will give two

2011: After D-day in Nov. My wife told me, "We only had sex once and all the other times we met after that we sat on a wall at a car wash and talked about how bad we felt about what we did".

Feb. 2013: I was playing a recording of her moaning having sex with the XOM. Her responce, "Mac that is just music. Mac, are you going crazy, do I need to take you to a hospital? You are hearing things. I really need to have you committed. Mac, what is wrong with you?" This went on for over 1/2 hour as I played the recording to her.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

badmemory said:


> Any BS's (or WS's) out there with some other gems?


There is always the classic, "it was a mistake, I'm only human"


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Thorburn there needs to be a "WOW" button because I couldn't bring myself to hit like. 

Ugh, sorry. I bet at that point some tranquilizers and a padded cell would have looked like a welcome retreat.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

"I went to meet him to tell him to leave me alone".


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

russell28 said:


> This is true, I work for a large corporation and many times the males at our company are wanking it during lunch. It's very common to go by offices at lunch break and see men with pants down surfing porn on company computers. They send out a memo if there's going to be a client visit, so we can pull our pants up.



Those poor janitors! 

This reminds me of the "Runkle" scenes in the show Californication.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Rowan said:


> A couple months prior to our 16th wedding anniversary, I found out my now-ex husband had been a serial cheater for pretty much the entire marriage. One of the things he said when he heard me use the term "serial cheater" has really stuck with me:
> 
> _"You're making this huge deal about what was probably, combined, no more than 6 minutes of pleasure!!!"_
> 
> Considering that he'd had at least three ONSs and at least one longer PA, I'm not sure my intelligence was the only thing insulted...and, ummm, _minimized_...by that statement.


Wow. I guess your ex had some real issues with PE.


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

8 months after I had given birth.."Yes, she has a better body than you, but I like faces better anyway..."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

distraughtfromtexas said:


> 8 months after I had given birth.."Yes, she has a better body than you, but I like faces better anyway..."
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ouch.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

distraughtfromtexas said:


> 8 months after I had given birth.."Yes, she has a better body than you, but I like faces better anyway..."
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Please tell me you hit him! That is the worst!!!

Are you divorced?


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

distraughtfromtexas said:


> 8 months after I had given birth.."Yes, she has a better body than you, but I like faces better anyway..."
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How sweet, it was a compliment, you have a pretty face.. aw...

As for the 'better body' thing, there was a time when I thought my WS had the greatest body on the planet, because I believed it was for my eyes only... So I guess 'better' is in the eyes of the beholder. I stupidly thought that part of being married was being so in love with your spouse, that you are in love with every part of them, any wrinkle or dimple.. you know them all, you have comfort in the familiarity and safety of them as if they are an extension of you. You desire them and find them attractive.. not get 'bored/tired/sick of/' etc... and no, I didn't put on weight, didn't get out of shape.. I still look good. Women look at me.. I just never looked back, because as someone said here recently.. I stopped looking at others as sexual beings. Never let myself get too close to anyone, didn't want to... didn't realize it was an option. I guess that's why it's cheating.. not playing by the rules. /rant


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

badmemory said:


> Interesting that you ask about that because I've thought about what she'd do if I asked her to do that. But I've got enough to overcome without complicating things more.
> 
> But she still denies it happened even to this day. Never mind I've got two pages of e-mails detailing the event (her WMW 3-some). Maybe that's one reason she's afraid to admit it.


did you show it to her ? how can she still deny it ?

why would she be afraid if she has to do it with you ?


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

warlock07 said:


> Badmemory, did you get your threesome ?


First thing I thought of...


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> Please tell me you hit him! That is the worst!!!
> 
> 
> Are you divorced?


Haha, nope, still in R and still have body issues! Sigh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

russell28 said:


> How sweet, it was a compliment, you have a pretty face.. aw...
> 
> As for the 'better body' thing, there was a time when I thought my WS had the greatest body on the planet, because I believed it was for my eyes only... So I guess 'better' is in the eyes of the beholder. I stupidly thought that part of being married was being so in love with your spouse, that you are in love with every part of them, any wrinkle or dimple.. you know them all, you have comfort in the familiarity and safety of them as if they are an extension of you. You desire them and find them attractive.. not get 'bored/tired/sick of/' etc... and no, I didn't put on weight, didn't get out of shape.. I still look good. Women look at me.. I just never looked back, because as someone said here recently.. I stopped looking at others as sexual beings. Never let myself get too close to anyone, didn't want to... didn't realize it was an option. I guess that's why it's cheating.. not playing by the rules. /rant


Yes, that's how I felt, too. What he thought were imperfections of his, I loved. And I thought he felt that way about me, but I know better now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

distraughtfromtexas said:


> Haha, nope, still in R and still have body issues! Sigh.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Kickboxing is an excellent workout (I'd make him babysit) and I'd use him to "practice".

Not that you need to workout he just deserves his @ss kicked!


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> did you show it to her ? how can she still deny it ?
> 
> why would she be afraid if she has to do it with you ?


Yes Warlock, I showed it to her. Her explanation is comical. "It was him playing out a fantasy". Please.

I've had this discussion on another thread before, but the bottom line is that I could make an issue of her denying it if I choose; but I already know the truth, and she knows I don't believe her. Yet, she's so ashamed of it she won't admit it. More ashamed of that than anything else she did. I'm convinced she only did it to please the POSOM.

It's kind of like Thorburn's wife trying to convince him that he wasn't hearing what he was hearing; just as ridiculous anyway.


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> Kickboxing is an excellent workout (I'd make him babysit) and I'd use him to "practice".


LOL, love it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Stronger-now said:


> Their? I thought she said "*his* principle?"
> 
> *Originally Posted by Philat*
> Yes, I got the distinct impression upon hearing this that I was supposed to admire them for their principled restraint. In an exercise of my own restraint, I said nothing. I consider this more amusing than insulting.


Weelllll..... Some time later on I asked her if they would have gone PA if AP had not had these principles. Response: "I don't know."


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Philat said:


> Weelllll..... Some time later on I asked her if they would have gone PA if AP had not had these principles. Response: "I don't know."



Well you should be thankful that those principles weren't tested (heavy sarcasm)

It's a good thing his AP was only willing to meddle in your marriage up to a certain limit

My head is going to explode, I'll use my trusty loyal Dyson to clean up the mess!


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Philat said:


> Weelllll..... Some time later on I asked her if they would have gone PA if AP had not had these principles. Response: *"I don't know."*


If I may, I'd like to nominate "I don't know" = yes, into the cheater's code handbook, right beside "I don't remember" = yes I did it.


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## LittleMiss13 (Mar 7, 2012)

For some reason, and believe me, I truly understand that none of this is funny but reading these responses are making me smile.

One question I remember asking is, "Did you give her oral sex on my family room floor?" His answer to me was "He was so scared, he doesn't remember." Talk about rug sweeping.  One of the dumbest answers I have ever received from him.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

LittleMiss13 said:


> For some reason, and believe me, I truly understand that none of this is funny but reading these responses are making me smile.
> 
> One question I remember asking is, "Did you give her oral sex on my family room floor?" His answer to me was "He was so scared, he doesn't remember." Talk about rug sweeping.  One of the dumbest answers I have ever received from him.


Dear,

That's not so much rug sweeping as lying.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

badmemory said:


> Dear,
> 
> That's not so much rug sweeping as lying.


and in poor taste, my mind went to carpet munching....


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## heartbroken0426 (Dec 4, 2013)

My H told me that he didn't have sex with OW on their weekend rendezvous because he couldn't perform.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

badmemory said:


> If I may, I'd like to nominate "I don't know" = yes, into the cheater's code handbook, right beside "I don't remember" = yes I did it.


As a matter of fact, I think there's a better than even chance it was PA anyway, principles or no.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Minimising from the OM....

"We only did it three times"

"I didn't use a condom one time because I didn't have any on me"

"I will defriend her on FB"


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Horizon said:


> Minimising from the OM....
> 
> "We only did it three times"
> 
> ...


Now everything is right with the world...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

distraughtfromtexas said:


> LOL, love it!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hang on. I'm only a simply chap but let's see how this works:-

He gets to make love with the sexiest woman in his life, makes babies with her, then he whines like a little boy?

:banghead:

He needs this! :redcard:


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Hang on. I'm only a simply chap but let's see how this works:-
> 
> He gets to make love with the sexiest woman in his life, makes babies with her, then he whines like a little boy?
> 
> ...


That's what I'm sayin', Matt!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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