# My Wife Left Me, Can I Get Her Back?



## st3436 (Jul 17, 2013)

My wife of 7 years recently told me that she is no longer in love with me and now sees me as a roommate. She said her decision has been killing her for months, but recently when her grandmother passed away, it made her realize that life is too short. We have always had problems about having time for just us. We have two beautiful daughters that have been in the picture since the beginning. We both work and therefore, always spent our free time with our girls as a family and not just us two. We have had issues since the beginning about the romance. We would work on it, things would get better and then go right back to normal. She said she has finally given up on our relationship. I told her how much I loved her and how much these issues were fixable. But she said she had given up. I asked her about counseling and she said she doesnt want to go. She has given up. I moved out about three weeks ago and she is moving into a new apartment this weekend (our old lease was up anyways). We have talked briefly but only about our kids. There is no remorse in how she sounds when we do talk. Our friends are split. SOme say that she is happy with here decision to move and excited about her new future and others say that she will soon realize what she has given up and come back. I dont know what to do. I love and miss my wife horribly. I miss my family. I am actually afraid to try to move on in the thought that one day she will come back and I wont be available. Please give me any advice (good or bad) you might be able to give on this.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Do the 180 don't beg or cry in front of her. I suppose it doesn't matter now but have you checked her phone records there may be another man in the picture. You might as well file now and if she comes around you can always stop it.


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

st3436 said:


> My wife of 7 years recently told me that she is no longer in love with me and now sees me as a roommate..


90% of the time when a person says this - they're cheating.



st3436 said:


> She said her decision has been killing her for months, but recently when her grandmother passed away, it made her realize that life is too short.


She is rethinking her life, a life without you.



st3436 said:


> We have always had problems about having time for just us. We have two beautiful daughters that have been in the picture since the beginning.


You and your children stand in the way of her happiness. Her new loyalty is to her affair partner(s) 



st3436 said:


> I told her how much I loved her and how much these issues were fixable. But she said she had given up..


She's having an affair.



st3436 said:


> I asked her about counseling and she said she doesnt want to go. She has given up.


You would be wasting each other's time.



st3436 said:


> There is no remorse in how she sounds when we do talk.


Of course not - she's having the time of her life at the expense of everyone.

You need to figure out who the affair partner is and smoke them out. 

Have you done intel work?


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

New apartment= love shack


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

How old are your daughters?

Has she filed for D?

Separate your finances, yesterday!

I know this all sucks right now, but it is imperative that you start conducting yourself in a calm, strong manner. Start protecting yourself.

If she is firing you as her husband, refuse to act like one.

Consult with a lawyer to learn your state's Divorce and custody laws.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Read Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough" and apply it to your life. Do this right away.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Sorry you are in this situation. I am coming up on a year since my WAW left.

Unfortunately, common wisdom here is that you focus on what you can control. You cannot control what your walk away spouse WAS will do. You can only focus on yourself, making yourself better physically, emotionally, financially, socially, etc.

Divorce Busting by Michelle Wiener Davis lays that foundation for doing the abaove, the "180".

Will your WAS come back, maybe, maybe not but you need to look forward to your new life. Whatever that ends up being.

Is it hard? Seems damn near impossible at the beginning but eventually we all burn out on trying to reason with the exes and look to ourselves and our futures. The faster you start the 180 the faster you move toward a happy future.

Be strong, you can survive and thrive,
Stretch


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...n/99690-if-your-dealing-walk-away-spouse.html


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## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

I really hate to post this but other than being married and having kids , your story sounded exactly like mine, I wont go into details but I would read "regroups" post again and cut off all contact with her. People don't have the courage sometimes to be honest and they say things like " I love you but am not in love with you" which is bull**** IMO, if you really love someone you love them indefinitely. But Yea friend sorry for your pain, take care of you and your children, but I think your wife might have moved on, I am SO deeply sorry for your pain, add me to friends if you like , or send me a private message, but I just went through this whole thing too


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

She has detached already - in her mind she's moved on. You need to start worrying about protecting yourself and your rights as a parent. Get to a lawyer for a consult asap. 
You cannot put your life on hold "just in case" she decides to come back. No one should live their lives like that.


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