# Just A Simple marriage question



## Lillie (Oct 10, 2013)

Hi All,
I've been married for 17 yrs. Over the last few weeks I've noticed that When my husband tells me he loves me he uses my name instead of ' baby' honey ' or any ther cutesie names. I'm in no way complaining it's just something that caught me off guard the first time he used my name. In the yrs. we have been married he's never done that. Ex: I love you Lillie....and it's at no certain time or situation. 

So,
Just wandering if the more use of my name more mean anything.
Like I said, not complaining just something I noticed.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

I do not think it means anything in itself and is nothing to worry about. Still, someone will probably urge you to divorce in a moment.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

I'm not sure why you are asking us what it means....shouldn't this be a question for your husband?

Perhaps tell him that you noticed him using your name more often, but that you really like when he uses terms of endearment.


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

Mr The Other said:


> I do not think it means anything in itself and is nothing to worry about. Still, someone will probably urge you to divorce in a moment.



:lol:


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Lillie said:


> Hi All,
> I've been married for 17 yrs. Over the last few weeks I've noticed that When my husband tells me he loves me he uses my name instead of ' baby' honey ' or any ther cutesie names. I'm in no way complaining it's just something that caught me off guard the first time he used my name. In the yrs. we have been married he's never done that. Ex: I love you Lillie....and it's at no certain time or situation.
> 
> So,
> ...


Only you really know your husband. My husband calls me honey bun, but only sometimes, he never really says Mel, If he tells me he loves me he just says " i love you".... that is it really.

Only your husband can answer your question i believe as we do not know him.

Now i am sitting here asking myself if he suddenly said my name after he told me he loved me, would i think anything of it.... Honestly, i think i would just ask him why, and see what he says.

So there is your answer.... You have to ask him


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## Lillie (Oct 10, 2013)

I have asked him....lol..he jokes and says well that's your name...or he'll say something like...'because I can' yeah it's a silly question I asked but being married for soooooo long little things become noticeable. Thanks for your replies.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Personally, I find the statement more intense and serious when a name is used.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

Maybe he read this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0757315313


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

He may be trying to really connect with you. Trying to make it more meaninful or I could be full of s#1t
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Laurel (Oct 14, 2013)

My husband always refers to me by a cutsie name or a shortened nickname version of my real name. If he ever calls me by my full given first name, I know he is probably upset about something (not saying that is what is up with your husband, just giving you my personal experience).


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

manfromlamancha said:


> Personally, I find the statement more intense and serious when a name is used.


:iagree: I use my W's given name when I want her to know I'm speaking from the heart.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

If my husband started using my full first name every time he said I Love You, I would think it was weird too. It would sound way too formal.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Philat said:


> :iagree: I use my W's given name when I want her to know I'm speaking from the heart.


Awwww.....


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Lillie said:


> *I have asked him....lol..he jokes and says well that's your name...or he'll say something like...'because I can' yeah it's a silly question I asked but being married for soooooo long little things become noticeable. Thanks for your replies*.


Sounds all is good then...









Thinking about this...I can't say my husband uses my name either.... there are so very many ways to express







... he often tells me I am his "soul mate"...his Roller Derby woman, "Baby" ...all terms of endearment....we've never really done the "pet name" thing... maybe we're weird....

I call him "Daddy" sometimes... "Lover"... "Baby" ...."the man"..."dirty old man"...I tell him he is "my Rock"..."My stud"...Oh there is just so many ways to express our devotion, desire, our endearment...I can't box it !



> *manfromlamancha said*: *Personally, I find the statement more intense and serious when a name is used.*


 this is true ...isn't it...

I know for me...I've used his name with the "I love you ______" ...more the times of a deep sharing...maybe in a "making up mode".....a reassurance after we've worked through something.... or just feeling very thankful...this too....a touch to his face...looking into his eyes.. Special moments...


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## Lillie (Oct 10, 2013)

Thanks for all the replies. You all had interesting input....Simply Amourous...I really liked your opinion and take on the whole thing. Thanks.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Laurel said:


> My husband always refers to me by a cutsie name or a shortened nickname version of my real name. If he ever calls me by my full given first name, I know he is probably upset about something (not saying that is what is up with your husband, just giving you my personal experience).


Yep me too. He always calls me sweetheart or darling...I know he's upset with me if he calls me by my name, hehehe


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

frusdil said:


> Yep me too. He always calls me sweetheart or darling...I know he's upset with me if he calls me by my name, hehehe


I think I will have to talk to DW about this. She sometimes uses my given name and I feel uncomfortable when she does. I assume that must reflect the feeling that if you use your spouse's given name rather than an endearment, that it is less loving. Perhaps the cause lies deep in my upbringing. 

She may, on the other hand, think it is a loving gesture and want me to use her name ( I always use a term of endearment)!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

soccermom2three said:


> If my husband started using my full first name every time he said I Love You, I would think it was weird too. It would sound way too formal.


I can't remember tha last time I called my wife by her real name!

Even when I'm upset with her and we're arguing , I still call her 
" hun."

Me calling her by her first name at anytime would sound really odd.
She might probably freak out!


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

Most people don't realize this, but not using a person's given name can have the effect of negating some of their identity, even some of their individuality. Anyone can be dear, or honey, or baby, but your name is a deeply engrained part of who you are. It seems odd to me now (having read that book I linked to) to stop using my partner's given name.

The simple act of calling her by name can give her an instant snap out of roles where she has demands (like mom or even lover), and let's her just be her, if even just for a brief interlude.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

My husband does neither. He doesn't call me anything. Weird huh?


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Lillie said:


> Hi All,
> I've been married for 17 yrs. Over the last few weeks I've noticed that When my husband tells me he loves me he uses my name instead of ' baby' honey ' or any ther cutesie names. I'm in no way complaining it's just something that caught me off guard the first time he used my name. In the yrs. we have been married he's never done that. Ex: I love you Lillie....and it's at no certain time or situation.
> 
> So,
> ...


I find that things lose their meaning when said too often. So saying "love you" or "I love you babe" feel less significant when said every morning and every night. Saying "I love you <name>" to me is a more special. If you watched the movie avatar, it's like saying "I see you".


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