# cold/cruel or is it normal?



## faithaqua (Nov 28, 2011)

My husband called me last night, talked about his business, his life---harmless. Then says he went to Staples to look at divorce packages but they have a bunch of 'stuff' we don't need. Proceeds to tell me that he's going to talk with a lawyer he knows on Friday---mind you, he said all this in the tone of casual and cool. Me? heart pounding, trying not to get emotional. 
This is my second marriage, but with my first, my ex and I didn't love each other anymore so it was amicable, a relief for both of us. It occurred to me while my current husband was talking that he may have lost his love for me---oh boy, that's when my tears started. I asked him to please tell me if he fell out of love with me. He said "I'm not going there--I don't owe you anything. You want closure? I'm divorcing you. I told you, I can't do this. I'm not giving you more than that. I tell you I don't want to talk and you ask questions. You're selfish." WOW! I'm selfish??? He abandoned me! He left when I needed him the most---previous posts explain, but in a nutshell, he walked out b/c he didn't want to deal with my emotionally/mentally ill son (from 1st marriage). I guess there was more to it...I feel so humiliated and the hurt feels fresh again. 
Is this normal or was he being cold/cruel? 
Thanks for reading and replying :0)


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## Stephanie Lynn (Mar 22, 2012)

Plainly stated, COLD AND CRUEL. My H walked out on me during a difficult time in my career. He couldn't sustain. I was told I was selfish. THEY are the selfish ones. We promised for better/worse and in sickness and health. Broken promises, period. They bailed. Read my story - I miss my husband.


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## faithaqua (Nov 28, 2011)

I did read your story yesterday when I posted---I liked the tag line because I identify but then again, I had my first meeting with a new psychologist on Wed, and she asked me what I missed exactly? She agreed with you that he is cold and cruel (and very, very selfish). I know I love him but I'm not sure if he's capable of loving me, so what do I miss?
I am extremely humiliated what with my 2nd marriage failing but it all goes back to the selection and now I ask myself: why do I settle?
Thanks for the reply---I need some validation. I feel he does owe me simply b/c I stuck by him through his b.s. and the minute my "b.s." took the spotlight, he bailed.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

He doesn't want to take responsibility and is running away from his own crap. Cold and cruel is true.

Don't let him off easy. You owe him nothing, if that's how he is treating you.


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