# Theres a good amount to read, but i need some advice



## SpeedJohnson (Sep 3, 2013)

My wife and I have been married for 9 years. We have 3 children, almost 5, almost 6, and almost 9.

We lived in section 8 housing for roughly 6 years. Towards the end of that time, roughly 3 years ago, she had an affair. I confronted her and the other guy. I explained to him as nicely as I could that we were married, and to please stay away. I was willing to let it go. I loved her that much.

The affair continued, my calls got more heated, but I never physically confronted the guy. I wanted to, boy did I want to pound his face in, I held my cool. What kind of father could I be from prison?

So while my life was going to absolute hell, I get laid off too boot. Luckily I was able to collect. So while I was collecting, her father passed, and we "inherited" a building. Just a frame, nothing done on the inside. Since the property is on her mother's land, and never formally put into our names, it's legally her mother's. There was nothing in writing, just a dieing man's last few words basically.

This house, like I said, was only the outter shell. I didn't pay for the materials, there was money set aside for that, I did however do all the painting, all the sheetrock, flooring, trim, pretty much everything but the plumbing and electrical to get the C.O. All for free

We move in to the new house, and come to find out, she is STILL sleeping with the other guy. This affair goes on for a year total as far as I know. The only reason she stops the affair is because she got pregnant (I had a vasectomy) and he told her to, "get rid of IT". She had an abortion.

Again, I stayed, I loved her and absolutely would do anything for my kids, including putting up with her.

So ever since then the marriage has been rocky. So a year or so later, and I find out she's not only talking to that same guy again, but actually hanging out with him, I took pictures on my phone of her text messages to him. She claims she isn't sleeping with him, but how can I trust her?

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Some examples of some recent fights we've had:

her friend, who is a homeless mooch living in a 30,000$ car, loses her phone at out house. My fault. My wife is patting my pants looking for it, saying things like, I know you have it, just give it back, you like to play these games, you must have thrown it out, just give it back, I won't be mad, and so on. 30 minutes of accusations and the phone is discovered in the fridge where we put the water bottles.

They go to a concert (that she blew off work for) and her friend again, can't find her phone. "I know it was in my purse, someone must have stolen it". so they call it and see it light up in the parking lot

They come home about 2am and her friend is puking a storm in our hall bath tub, not even the toilet.

The next day I'm at work and I get a text, "did you go in my car?" to which i replied, no. another text, "call me". so I do and another round of the exact accusations, almost word for word. the friend put her phone in the glove box with her wallet, this morning the glove box is open, wallet is on the ground, phone is gone. So obviously I took it. Some how I has ESP and new it was in the glove box.

I get home from work, more accusations. Finally the phone is found in the hall bathroom. she tucked it in a toilet paper roll so it wouldnt get puke on it.

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all my money goes to bills, every single dollar. I havent bought a new pair of jeans in probably 6 years. She want new sneakers for our daughter, I have no problem with that. I just want to check the ATM to make sure I have enough. She gives me the "you gonna die" look.

We get home and she starts sreaming about where all my money goes, we owe her mom money, why can't i pay that? I brought up her going to the concert and blowing off work. oooooooo man I thought I was a dead man right there. I got thrown out of the house, "GET THE F##K OUT OF MY HOUSE" with emphasis on the "my"

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her sister and I happen to be watching the same movie (different houses, not together) when she got home from work. That turned into me wanting to sleep with her, and how pathetic it is, and more screaming. I just walked away and went to bed

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thats only a few of the things I gotta deal with. I just don't care about her anymore. I want nothing to do with her.

She's always throwing divorce in my face, calling me a mooch and living off of her mom and her. I just don't want to deal with this.

what I want to do is a divorce obviously. I'm not going to sue over the work I did to the house, I'm not gonna try to take the SUV that I paid for away, I'm gonna take the 30,000$ + debt that accumulated with me going back to school while we were married and a truck payment.

I don't want to give her alimony, I don't think that's fair. And I want to help support the kids, but on my end. If I give her 100$ a week or whatever it is, it will just go to shoes or purses for her. (She has over $1,500 in purses, she's a waitress, yet I'm the mooch). I want to spend that money on the my kids while I have them, buy them clothes, take them to amusement parks, things like that.

She's the one who ended this, I've been fighting for 4 years to keep it together, I just don't care anymore.

anyone have any sort of advice?

thanks,
SJ


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

She doesn't show you any respect, because you don't respect yourself. Do something to show you have enough respect for yourself not to take this treatment from her, her affair partner and her mom. What ever the cost. Stand up for the way you should be treated. Get a lawyer and FILE!!!

Here start reading this now...No More Mr Nice Guy



How many of you can there be are out there?


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## SpeedJohnson (Sep 3, 2013)

respect or not, I honestly don't care about her anymore. I just don't know what legal course to take. What kind of leverage I have versus what she has. Things like that


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Go see a lawyer and find out what you're entitled to in your state. Then make your plan. Don't tell her anything about it.

Here look at this Divorce Information for Men and Fathers | Cordell and Cordell | DadsDivorce.com


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

*Re: Re: Theres a good amount to read, but i need some advice*



SpeedJohnson said:


> respect or not, I honestly don't care about her anymore. I just don't know what legal course to take. What kind of leverage I have versus what she has. Things like that


That's been your mistake. It is about respect. Self respect! That's your leverage and control over you life.


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