# is something missing?



## kuyaeye (Jun 15, 2009)

For about three years now my wife and I have been trying to become more intamate. I have tried to carress her to get her in the mood, she says it tickles and to stop, I have tried kisses no her neck.. again tickles. I have tried to give her love notes on her cae, mirror, in the mail, hand written poems. With no effect, she claims thae she feel obligated to return the favor at times, and she is just not romantic person. I have even tried sex toys, and she stilll not feelin it. I tried spontanious dates, and she says I have to work this weekend... is there something I am missing?


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

Uh...be a detective, that's a lot of stuff listed up there that us ladies like...maybe she's talking to and "seeing" someone else. It sucks to say and trust me I know that. But you're going to get honesty here and I'm sure I'm probably not the only one who's going to think what I just typed.

Good luck. Keep posting. It helps.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Have you asked her what she likes? have you asked her to show you what she likes? It sounds like she's left it up to you to figure out, and that isn't fair. It's her body; she is the expert. 

I think there is definitely something missing, but I'm betting it does not have much to do with you. Maybe she married you without being attracted to you--better for you to find out if that's the case. Maybe she's actually attracted to women; also better for you to find out. Maybe she was molested as a child or raped at some point; have you asked? Ask, ask, ask. Do not accept "I don't know" or "I'm just not a romantic person" as an answer--these are excuses, not answers. Insist on counseling until she can talk about her sexuality--there is nothing wrong with talking about it! If she can't talk about it, she's going to have trouble enjoying it fully, so get her talking, to you or a therapist. If she refuses, go alone, and decide if you want to be married to someone who rejects you like this. I wouldn't!


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