# Gone from being suicidal to never been happier ……



## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

Just thought I would share my story. In a nutshell, found out my husband was having an affair for a few years back in 2012. I tried absolutely everything to get him back but in summary we got divorced eventually in 2018. I honestly thought I would never be the same again. I left the marriage with nothing. Walked away when the last kid left home with absolutely nothing. I gave everything to him, starting out again at 48.

I thought I would never be the same however, I absolutely love my life on my own with my dog. I love my job and go out socially with friends a lot.

My ex on the other hand is depressed, alone and remorseful. I really feel sorry for him but you can’t have a relationship without trust. I can remember coming on here all the time thinking how the hell am I going to carry on?

just hang in there things will get better.X


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Just curious -- why would you leave the marriage with nothing? Surely you should have had at least 1/2 of your marital assets?
In any event, great that you are now doing well! Best way to be -- live a great life.


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

jlg07 said:


> Just curious -- why would you leave the marriage with nothing? Surely you should have had at least 1/2 of your marital assets?
> In any event, great that you are now doing well! Best way to be -- live a great life.


Yes looking back I definitely could’ve got half but I just did not want to be emotionally drained anymore.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

itskaren said:


> Yes looking back I definitely could’ve got half but I just did not want to be emotionally drained anymore.


Good for you. It's satisfying to live on your own terms, isn't it? You're better off not fighting him for money. The best revenge is a life well lived, congratulations on finding your happiness on your own.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

itskaren said:


> Just thought I would share my story. In a nutshell, found out my husband was having an affair for a few years back in 2012. I tried absolutely everything to get him back but in summary we got divorced eventually in 2018. I honestly thought I would never be the same again. I left the marriage with nothing. Walked away when the last kid left home with absolutely nothing. I gave everything to him, starting out again at 48.
> 
> I thought I would never be the same however, I absolutely love my life on my own with my dog. I love my job and go out socially with friends a lot.
> 
> ...


Very happy to hear about you living life and being happy.

We don't can't hear enough of the success and happiness after someone gets out of an adultery situation.
Congratulations!


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

itskaren said:


> Yes looking back I definitely could’ve got half but I just did not want to be emotionally drained anymore.


Freedom is priceless....


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

itskaren said:


> Just thought I would share my story. In a nutshell, found out my husband was having an affair for a few years back in 2012. I tried absolutely everything to get him back but in summary we got divorced eventually in 2018. I honestly thought I would never be the same again. I left the marriage with nothing. Walked away when the last kid left home with absolutely nothing. I gave everything to him, starting out again at 48.
> 
> I thought I would never be the same however, I absolutely love my life on my own with my dog. I love my job and go out socially with friends a lot.
> 
> ...


I love reading posts like this! Good for you OP on building yourself a fantastic life


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

itskaren said:


> Just thought I would share my story. In a nutshell, found out my husband was having an affair for a few years back in 2012. I tried absolutely everything to get him back but in summary we got divorced eventually in 2018. I honestly thought I would never be the same again. I left the marriage with nothing. Walked away when the last kid left home with absolutely nothing. I gave everything to him, starting out again at 48.
> 
> I thought I would never be the same however, I absolutely love my life on my own with my dog. I love my job and go out socially with friends a lot.
> 
> ...


GOD BLESS YOU (even more) 😊❤🙏


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Omg, what an uplifting story! Hopefully it will inspire the fence sitters to stop wasting their time and go live life. I’m so happy for you. ☀✨😊


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Nothing like a good come back story to make the crowd cheer !!!

Congrats 🎉🎈🍾🎊


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

itskaren said:


> Just thought I would share my story. In a nutshell, found out my husband was having an affair for a few years back in 2012. I tried absolutely everything to get him back but in summary we got divorced eventually in 2018. I honestly thought I would never be the same again. I left the marriage with nothing. Walked away when the last kid left home with absolutely nothing. I gave everything to him, starting out again at 48.
> 
> I thought I would never be the same however, I absolutely love my life on my own with my dog. I love my job and go out socially with friends a lot.
> 
> ...


Once you have a dog, you realize how sadly lacking a lot of humans are! So glad you are doing great. Might as well get a second dog.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Once you have a dog, you realize how sadly lacking a lot of humans are! So glad you are doing great. Might as well get a second dog.


Damn right!

Two dogs are great. We've always had two at a time.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

You mention that your ex husband is depressed, miserable, etc. I wonder if this is common - when someone cheats and blows up their family, if they deeply regret it, because there was something _inside of them_ going on at the time, and it had nothing to do with the marriage at all. They destroy their marriage, thinking that this new person will bring them happiness, but it doesn't.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Damn right!
> 
> Two dogs are great. We've always had two at a time.


Yes. They're more secure, less anxious, less energetic because they run it off between them, and less destructive when you're not home.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

*Deidre* said:


> You mention that your ex husband is depressed, miserable, etc. I wonder if this is common - when someone cheats and blows up their family, if they deeply regret it, because there was something _inside of them_ going on at the time, and it had nothing to do with the marriage at all. They destroy their marriage, thinking that this new person will bring them happiness, but it doesn't.


I bet it's more like they are embarrassed they made such a mess and then failed, when in their mind, they were probably envisioning dating 20 year old hotties and looking like a big shot. I think it's their ego that's hurting, not their conscience. Sadly.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

We'll be wanting dog photos in the Social Spot section under At Home - Photo Thread. We never get tired of dog photos. (And sadly we just lost our best dog photo poster)


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I bet it's more like they are embarrassed they made such a mess and then failed, when in their mind, they were probably envisioning dating 20 year old hotties and looking like a big shot. I think it's their ego that's hurting, not their conscience. Sadly.


Could be...I also think they want their wife/husband sitting at home, taking care of everything, being the 'face' of the family, while they pretend like they're single. They often want both, and when the wife or husband leaves, the affair partner isn't enough.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

*Deidre* said:


> Could be...I also think they want their wife/husband sitting at home, taking care of everything, being the 'face' of the family, while they pretend like they're single. They often want both, and when the wife or husband leaves, the affair partner isn't enough.


Yeah. Sometimes the case. And also they hate to see their ex-wife happy . Again, it's ego, not remorse.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

*Deidre* said:


> Could be...I also think they want their wife/husband sitting at home, taking care of everything, being the 'face' of the family, while they pretend like they're single. They often want both, and when the wife or husband leaves, the affair partner isn't enough.


Entitlement. There are just people who believe they are entitled to what they want, when they want, with no consequences.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Plus he can't even go around moaning that his wife "took everything he had worked so hard for," because she flipped him off and left just to get away from him as soon as possible. I don't recommend it when you have some assets, but I've known people without much who walked away.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Congrats! There is always a light at the end of tunnel..we just have to be patient.

And I believe this is unscientifically TAM Case #11,671 of the other spouse finding out the grass ain’t greener!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

itskaren said:


> . I left the marriage with nothing. Walked away when the last kid left home with absolutely nothing. I gave everything to him, starting out again at 48.
> 
> I thought I would never be the same however, I absolutely love my life on my own with my dog. I love my job and go out socially with friends a lot.


I have said a number of times on these pages when people feel completely lost and defeated when they are divorcing at midlife and half their assets are being divided and the feel completely gutted, that we send a new flock of 18 year olds out into the world every year with barely more than the clothes on backs and expect them to not only make a life for themselves but to party and explore themselves and to have adventure etc. 

So why should 18 year olds have all the fun? 

OK, I get it, divorce ain't fun. But my point here people invent and reinvent themselves all the time. We send 18 year olds out into the world full of hormones, a Disney view of the world in their minds and the clothes on their backs and expect them create a new life for themselves. .....and they do. 

But a 48 year old has over half a lifetime of experience, wisdom and perspective even if they don't have a lot of cash on hand or material goods at the moment. 

Does that mean I want to walk out of the house with the clothes on my back tomorrow and make a whole new life for myself? Not really, but my daughter is doing exactly that right now and my son will be soon thereafter so why should I expect my kids to do it if I do not feel capable of it myself? 

Your post kind of proves my point and you are a living example.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

itskaren said:


> Just thought I would share my story. In a nutshell, found out my husband was having an affair for a few years back in 2012. I tried absolutely everything to get him back but in summary we got divorced eventually in 2018. I honestly thought I would never be the same again. I left the marriage with nothing. Walked away when the last kid left home with absolutely nothing. I gave everything to him, starting out again at 48.
> 
> I thought I would never be the same however, I absolutely love my life on my own with my dog. I love my job and go out socially with friends a lot.
> 
> ...


This is a pretty typical recovery. Some folks don't realize what a noose their cheating partners were until they are gone. They have no context to know.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> I have said a number of times on these pages when people feel completely lost and defeated when they are divorcing at midlife and half their assets are being divided and the feel completely gutted, that we send a new flock of 18 year olds out into the world every year with barely more than the clothes on backs and expect them to not only make a life for themselves but to party and explore themselves and to have adventure etc.
> 
> So why should 18 year olds have all the fun?
> 
> ...


This is a great post.


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## Cnelso22 (3 mo ago)

itskaren said:


> Just thought I would share my story. In a nutshell, found out my husband was having an affair for a few years back in 2012. I tried absolutely everything to get him back but in summary we got divorced eventually in 2018. I honestly thought I would never be the same again. I left the marriage with nothing. Walked away when the last kid left home with absolutely nothing. I gave everything to him, starting out again at 48.
> 
> I thought I would never be the same however, I absolutely love my life on my own with my dog. I love my job and go out socially with friends a lot.
> 
> ...


Thank you for sharing! At the beginning now and it’s a struggle to wake up most days thinking “this is my life now” looking forward to happier times.


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