# Oral not good, I feel shallow??



## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

My girlfriend and I have fairly good chemitry but she is not very good at oral and she refuses to swallow. I was married a long time and all my other girlfriends of the past did this. I almost dont want the oral if I have to pull out and finish myself. 
I understand some women dont like the taste or texture but I as a man gives her oral and the female vagina is not all that great but it brings great pleasure to them. 
We have discussed it many times and I have offered to pay for a class they give but she thinks Im being shallow and i knda agree and feel terrible but I love oral very very much. 
Anyone have expierance with this


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

If she isn't comfortable swallowing, you can't force her to be. Sorry. Some women have gag reflexes that just won't allow them to swallow, not even a class can change that. If she is not performing oral in a way which is pleasuring to you (aside from swallowing), then tell her how you like it. That can at least help with technique.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Well I havent had a BJ in 11 years, so I may be a little jaded. If this is a deal breaker I would move on and find someone more compatible.

My first BJ was from my wife after we got married, and I never finished in her mouth, because I knew that would be my last BJ.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I get that men feel an overwhelming sense of love and acceptance, and maybe even a little bit respected, when their women swallow. But is it possible you are confusing swallowing with finishing in her mouth. 

I swallow sometimes, but I prefer not to. 

When I give a BJ to completion, I always want him to finish in my mouth but that doesn't mean I'm going to then swallow it. In fact most of the time he has no idea that I've simply allowed it to fall out of my mouth as I've continued my oral ministrations. I keep at it for a long time and when I finally come back up, once he is completely soft and his breathing has returned to normal, he has no idea that his semen has been spread out all over his genitals and thighs. Well of course he figures it out, but the point is that there is no disruption in the BJ just because he has ejaculated. 

It is a simple technique that merely involves staying in the game during and after he ejaculates. Opening her mouth enough to allow the semen to slowly drip out, then using her hands to cuddle and caress while gently spreading out the combination of saliva and semen.

Easy Peasy and everyone is happy!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

AP, have I ever told you how awesome you are?
:smthumbup:


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

It's obvious this is important to you, but this is not the hill to die on. Don't demand, don't pester her and absolutely do not try to convince her by telling her that all your previous girlfriends did it. 

If she's wiling to blow you at all there should be a workable compromise here. Find it before you damage the intimacy I your relationship.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

rep said:


> and the female vagina is not all that great .


If that is your attitude then I suspect that your own oral skills may not be all that.

Why would you send her to a class? I have never even heard of a BJ class. Must have led a sheltered life. However, what works for one does not necessarily work for another so you are the person best placed to let her know what works for you. If you do it kindly she is likely to be a lot more enthusiastic than if you keep telling her she's doing it wrong.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

if it important for you to be in a happy relationship then its time to move on. who cares if some think your shallow. you know what you want and need out of a relationship.

I would not be in a relationship with someone who did not like giving oral as much as I do.

I'm married to someone who gives sparingly and it bothers me every day. wish I would have put more importance on it before deciding to marry.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Oh lord I saw one of those jokes that end with "and that's when the fight started"

Lady tell her man that she doesn't give oral well and wants his suggestions. He said to go to a adult book store and find a booth with a glory hole and practice, practice, practice. The doctor said I should be up and walking in a month


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

OMG, I had not thought of that...

I need to start a Community Ed class -BJ's (for ladies only)

:smthumbup:


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I've seen a BJ class on Real Sex (HBO). Starts with the teacher putting all the dildos in her dishwasher to get ready for class.

There are also tons of tutorials online.

So do you only give oral to get oral? Sounds like you don't like it that much yourself (giving oral.)

Honestly, if someone said in was bad at oral and wasn't doing it right an offered to pay for a class I would be out of the BJ business. 

Shallow or not - if oral is that important to you I think you should find someone you are more compatible with.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

My wife of 20 years has never touched my 'john thomas' with her mouth. However, I used to go down on her.
She knows what it would mean to me but simply refuses. Now I am not remotely interested.

However I have had girlfriends who have 'blown' me and swallowed my nectar. Not only was the physical feeling fantastic but so was the emotional feeling.
Its hard to describe but it was like she was accepting me...she was taking my semen into her mouth where she could feel it, taste it.

Your partner accepting your semen into her mouth is, for a man, probably the single most important sign of love, acceptance etc.

Maybe I'm over rating it because my wife refuses to.

I imagine a BJ given by a prostitute doesnt cum anywhere near close to the partner you love doing it.
(excuse the pun!)


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> I've seen a BJ class on Real Sex (HBO). Starts with the teacher putting all the dildos in her dishwasher to get ready for class.
> 
> There are also tons of tutorials online.
> 
> ...





MissScarlett said:


> How could your man motivate you to increase your oral skills pertaining to what works on him?
> 
> Shallow or not - if oral is that important to you I think you should find someone you are more compatible with.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

I have a friend who does not even like giving her boyfriend a B.J, so think yourself lucky..

I have another friend that Spits (Nice)

And me who has no problems at all with swallowing, but some woman do not like it, and It makes them physically sick, and i can understand also why it could make some not want to do it.

I go back to what i said at first, If your getting Oral, even tho your partner does not like swallowing, then you have to respect the fact she does not like it.


There are just some things that some like doing and some just Do not.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I for one have no need for my wife to swallow, if every girlfriend you have had has swallowed than you have been very lucky because I do not think that would be the majority of women.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> I've seen a BJ class on Real Sex (HBO). Starts with the teacher putting all the dildos in her dishwasher to get ready for class.
> 
> There are also tons of tutorials online.
> 
> ...


MissScarlet, how could someone motivate you in particular if your oral skills do not work with this person? How could they motivate you to explore new techniques and up your oral game without turning you off?


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

My x wife never swallowed but did take it in her mouth.

Current GF used to. Now its tough to get the BJ. She says it takes to long and seems to think I can cum on command.

I prefer the swallow but a mix of the two is pretty strong.

IMHO there is not much of a better feeling that a BJ to completion and her swallowing. Very sexy.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

and ANON....your awesome


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## sgreenberg (Jul 9, 2013)

My wife will let me finish in the mouth, but then she spits it. Frankly, I don't care what happens with my semen once it's out of my body. I'm sure it's gross. Go ahead and spit it, as long as you let me finish in your mouth, I say.


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## endlessdrought (Jan 1, 2014)

rep said:


> My girlfriend and I have fairly good chemitry but she is not very good at oral and she refuses to swallow. I was married a long time and all my other girlfriends of the past did this. I almost dont want the oral if I have to pull out and finish myself.
> I understand some women dont like the taste or texture but I as a man gives her oral and the female vagina is not all that great but it brings great pleasure to them.
> We have discussed it many times and I have offered to pay for a class they give but she thinks Im being shallow and i knda agree and feel terrible but I love oral very very much.
> Anyone have expierance with this


Wow! You are actually getting BJs?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

treyvion said:


> MissScarlet, how could someone motivate you in particular if your oral skills do not work with this person? How could they motivate you to explore new techniques and up your oral game without turning you off?


I guess I am not sure. I have a desire to give a better BJ - so I haven't taken it personally when my H has said this particular part doesn't do it for him or when he says he particularly likes a certain other part.

I wouldn't take kindly to him saying he would pay for me to take a class unless it was for men an women both and on both kinds or oral.

I find myself in a strange situation a My H has just started giving me oral for the first time in 18 years. It IS a difficult thing to want to help someone be more effective while at the same time not wanting to hurt feelings. 

Before he started (this was part of the huge blow up of March 2013) I was able to find an online tutorial that was the technique I felt would be effective and we watched it together.

This has come (so to speak) along with my own willingness to up my oral game and frequency - trying to be fair. You up your oral game and I will respond in kind.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Cyclist said:


> My x wife never swallowed but did take it in her mouth.
> 
> Current GF used to. Now its tough to get the BJ. She says it takes to long and seems to think I can cum on command.
> 
> ...


Put your foot down now or your in for a lifetime of no head.

just sayin...


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

zookeeper said:


> It's obvious this is important to you, but this is not the hill to die on. Don't demand, don't pester her and absolutely do not try to convince her by telling her that all your previous girlfriends did it.
> 
> If she's wiling to blow you at all there should be a workable compromise here. Find it before you damage the intimacy I your relationship.


:iagree: My W gives great oral but finishing in her mouth is "against the house rules." She did it a couple of times when we were much younger but didn't like it. Why would you try to force someone to do something sexual that they don't like? Would I like it? Sure, but there are many roads to Rome...


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

If i would ever get in a new relationship sexual compatibility would carry A LOT OF WEIGHT.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> I guess I am not sure. I have a desire to give a better BJ - so I haven't taken it personally when my H has said this particular part doesn't do it for him or when he says he particularly likes a certain other part.
> 
> I wouldn't take kindly to him saying he would pay for me to take a class unless it was for men an women both and on both kinds or oral.
> 
> ...


LOL. My oral works and has worked in all my situations. I developed it over the years and added different techniques. So of course I don't think I"m the best yet, but always get my lady to cum and cum hard.

So in interest for this thread, I read a couple of the oral sex guides for men... I was already doing alot of the things their recommending but found several techniques I never imagined before, and ready to put them to the test.

As long as you have the right attitude and a willingness to get better, you will. 

Sorry it took H so long to see the oral light.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I get that men feel an overwhelming sense of love and acceptance, and maybe even a little bit respected, when their women swallow. But is it possible you are confusing swallowing with finishing in her mouth.
> 
> I swallow sometimes, but I prefer not to.
> 
> ...


Good lord.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I blow Mr H to completion and swallow, he loves it. The key thing for me was that when we were all new and shiny he made it know that I was the best oral giver he had ever been with, yay for me  He has no hesitation to tell me what feels good and he will happily ask for a BJ in such a sexy way that I do as he wants.

So let's say I was a dud in the BJ department, being offered a class to learn more would have turned me off. I want my man to teach me what is good for him, no class is going to do that. Just sounds so gross and demanding. "You will learn to be better at oral and then come and blow me", no thanks.

OP communicate, be sexier about it and praise her. 

Oh and if you aren't into the V then maybe you might want to go to a class yourself.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Holland! I LOVE you!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

And I love you too AP


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

After reading all of this, I feel very fortunate that my wife swallows. It is fantastic and very personal that she does this for me. Blowjobs don't happen very often in our house, but when they do, they are awesome.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I wonder if the problem is her not swallowing or him having to finish himself? I hate it when they guys in the porn movies finish themselves -that is lame.


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