# Excuses for an affair.



## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

This woman feels she deserves to have an affair because her husband has Alzheimers. 
I think that makes it even more despicable, not less. What do you think?

https://nypost.com/video/my-husband-has-alzheimers-and-i-cheated-on-him/


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Down Right Disgusting. What happened to death In Sickness and Health to Death Do Us Part?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

I'm not going to judge.

I have lived with an aunt who had this disease. Very stressfull. They can look right rough you like your not even there.

No emotion at all just blankness on their face. This is the worse way to die if i every start having it i will finish myself off in a lucid moment.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I haven't watched the video, that said if I am ever blighted with Alzheimer's. I hope my wife will find comfort in any way she desires, with whomever she chooses.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Personal said:


> I haven't watched the video, that said if I am ever blighted with Alzheimer's. I hope my wife will find comfort in any way she desires, with whomever she chooses.


*But only after she legally divorces me!

Then she can rattle some other Old Geezer’s bones!*


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

For me Arb she is welcome regardless of divorce.

I had a grandmother who had Alzheimers and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, including the loved ones of those afflicted.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

It's not my place to judge--I haven't walked in her shoes.

But I will say that under no circumstance would that EVER be my moral stance, and I don't mean this mean but I walked the walk. To me the vow isn't, "As long as you make me happy or get me off"... but rather that I would make the effort to get to know how you like to be loved and then do that, as long as we both live and breathe. Yep, it's very difficult to see the one you love decline in health and/or be in pain, but to me, you adjust to what they ARE able to do, and even if they don't know you...you know them! So love them! 

Yeah--I'd say this is pretty much the exact opposite of my moral compass but then again, I'm not her.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

I know someone who lived 20+ years with it. Bascialy just stared at the wall .was put in a home. Atfirst the spouce would visit everyday then after some time a couple times a week then once a week then once a month .

You get my drift.

I knew another who was very mean as it progressed made it impossible to even visit them.


Nope not going to judge . Horrible horrible disease!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Seems to me you have reasonable cause as soon as your spouse no longer recognizes you.

Whose hurt is being spared by your throwing away the remainder of your potential sex life? You can still be married on paper, pay the bills, visit the person for those occasional moments of lucidity. I would hope my spouse would do the same.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

This topic has been discussed here before.

And, while my own opinion on the matter doesn’t _quite_ align with @Personal’s comment above, it comes pretty close.

Still... Ash Mad? Ewww.

I guess she couldn’t find the high road.

As long as she’s a) diligent about using protection, b) keeps to dating a single (as in one), non-married man (or perhaps a married man in similar circumstances... actually, this might be preferable), and c) fulfilling the rest of her duties to her husband (which would include being romantic with him when he’s lucid), though, I’d probably give her a pass.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Before being an Alzheimer's caregiver for 6 years, 3 months and 5 days (and counting) I can say for certain that I would've vehemently disagreed with the lady in the vid. Now, I believe this is one instance where I could understand and even forgive it. Until you go through something like this you just have no idea what it does to a caregiver.

But, yeah.......Ash Mad???


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I’m a huge fan of marital fidelity; it is central to the core of my being and I don’t go looking for loopholes.

That said, if your spouse has advanced Alzheimer’s, the person you married is already long gone. 

I ditto the sentiment that if I can no longer provide love, comfort, and emotional intimacy to my wife, the bond is irreparably broken and she is free to seek such elsewhere, regardless of whether or not the legal bonds have been broken. The reality of the situation is more important to me than the artificiality imposed by a piece of paper.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Sports Fan said:


> Down Right Disgusting. What happened to death In Sickness and Health to Death Do Us Part?


**** that. Why should two people suffer, when one isn't even aware of who you are much of the time? Take care of them, see to their needs and well-being - AND see to your own when they are not capable or cognizant to do so.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I am shocked that at her age she hasn't heard of masturbation? Even though she did talk about 'taking care' of herself?

I suspect this might be a disguised advert for AM.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Two words:


Jane

Eyre


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

chillymorn69 said:


> I'm not going to judge.





Affaircare said:


> It's not my place to judge--I haven't walked in her shoes.





chillymorn69 said:


> I know someone who lived 20+ years with it.
> Nope not going to judge . Horrible horrible disease!


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

I know people who drifted away from ts disease. I am not going to judge her.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I too know of someone who drifted away from this disease.

Her husband took care of her for many years, but they were elderly and it became too much for him. 

He continued to pay for very good care for her and found a gf whose last husband had died of this disease, so she understood.

He figured that he wasn't sure how much time he had left and wanted to live. 

Eventually the wife passed away and he's happily married to the gf.

I'm happy he's got companionship.

It's just too bad this jerk is on AM messing with other marriages.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

My feeling is, after watching my Grandma have it eventually the person is just not there. I feel like she couldn't just wait? I think she is not as confident in here decision as she thinks because which is why she is discussing it. TShe knows she didn't do the honorable thing even if he dies and never knows. However they just did come up with a drug, from some diabetes drug, so you never know. Could you imagine?

The thing that strikes me the most is she couldn't last a year. Not a good way to deal with grief, doesn't bode well for her in the long run. If she is that desperate to be in a relationship. Really when you hear her seems a lot of her self worth is reflected in other men's attention. She lost that because her husband wasn't there, she got that from her hookup. 

I think this is still a very different kind of cheating though. Her husband is not there anymore except for his body. 

I wonder how well this story would be received if it was a man who posted it. Or if the spouse had ALS. 

Whatever.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

Alzheimer's is a difficult condition for most care givers. What made the most sense to me is when the woman said she had to take care of her needs if she wanted to continuing to care for her H. 

My experience is I have a difficult time caring for others if I don't have have anything to give. I can't give if my emotional resource supply is down near empty. Maybe some situations could be compared to a person's red blood cell count (RBC). A person can function with a lower than normal RBC number but at some point they barely function. Most people are social animals and depend on different forms of social interaction, some of which include physical and emotional connections and contact. Emotional and physical connections could be considered similar to boosting the RBC to a livable level in some cases.

About divorce and Alzheimer's, I have heard of cases a long time ago where the healthy spouse divorces the Alzheimer's person because the care cost are so high, and it was the only way the healthy person was able to keep the family home. I think financial rules have changed so that doesn't have to happen anymore.

Alzheimer's has struck my family and it can drain some individuals down to barely living if they don't have help and find some way to take care of their own (care giver) needs.

I don't know it this applies in this case but the psychological advice is to "Put on your own oxygen mask first before you help some one put on their oxygen mask.

People can criticize all forms of infidelity but I understand coming from a place of emptiness and almost nothingness. It is a rough place to be.


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## Quality (Apr 26, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> I suspect this might be a disguised advert for AM.



I agree. I believe it's a completely staged phone call. It's an advertorial right down to choosing the state of Kentucky {white, wholesome, religious if AM can be an answer there, it can be the answer everywhere}. Ash Mad makes it almost sound like they are a charity of sorts. Oh, and the target of this marketing campaign isn't older women with disabled husband's {though they'd appreciate if a few REAL nice women actually ever signed up}. Women don't pay to be members. Instead, this advertorial is targeted at older men trying to get them to sign up believing that they just might actually find a nice old still married woman that just needs a little sex on side as she tends to her ailing husband on their website. 

It's apparent AM has also shifted a portion of their millions of $ advertising marketing towards older men. This is probably because they are newer to the internet and less likely to distrust the internet or AM. Younger married men looking to have a secret affair are much more likely to be aware of the risks the internet and really technology poses as well as the way AM failed to protect their database a couple years ago leading to the exposure of anyone who used a real email or identifying credit card on the website. Old men are also less likely to know about or suspect that AM {admittedly} spoofed 1000's of female profiles in order to fraudulently induce men into believing there were lots of females in their area that were actually looking for hookups.


Prior to the hack, it's really the perfect scam website. What married guy is going to sue for fraud.



As to the morality of the actresses supposed choices, it's adultery. It's wrong. Sure I'd like my wife to move on too in such a situation and not waste years of her life looking after me after I'm mentally gone but that wouldn't make it ok or right. In the reverse situation, I hope I maintain the strength and power of my current convictions and faith.


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## Quality (Apr 26, 2016)

Young at Heart said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> I know people who drifted away from ts disease. I am not going to judge her.



I can judge it as wrong. I don't have the power to convict her though and if she's a Christian she'll answer for it and incur consequences but she won't be likely going to hell for it and the facts and circumstances may come into play.

HOWEVER - in this hypothetical, I wouldn't have much sympathy or understanding. She's on Ash Mad so she is purposefully seeking out older STILL MARRIED MEN to satisfy her needs. These men have unknowing betrayed wives and she is deliberately choosing to interfere in other peoples marriages. 

*this is also part of the unbelievableness of the story because all she has to do is come on down to her local American Legion and she could choose 1 or 2 of the 100's of mature single men there willing to help her out with no strings attached. What's the benefit to her of hooking up with still married men? It's not like Ash Mad is MORE private than real life when nearly all their members were already busted once.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

People can try and justify anything if they want to. In sickness and in health applies here, the husband is sick, and the fact that she is cheating with other married men makes it far worse. 
I am not going to cheat on my husband no matter what, I dont have it in me, especially if he was so ill. Otherwise where do we draw the line? What if our spouse had an accident and couldn't have sex any more? Or got cancer and was too ill? 
Sorry but any person who cheats with other married people is disgusting in my view.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

That is one sick woman. I love how there are people that act like if they don't have sex all the time they just can't go on as a human being. Those are people with severe mental issues and they need therapy. I wish he had another relative, like an adult child, that would retain a firm like ours. When we got done with this she'd be out on the street with nothing and he'd be with much better, loving care.


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## Quality (Apr 26, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> People can try and justify anything if they want to. In sickness and in health applies here, the husband is sick, and the fact that she is cheating with other married men makes it far worse.
> I am not going to cheat on my husband no matter what, I dont have it in me, especially if he was so ill. Otherwise where do we draw the line? What if our spouse had an accident and couldn't have sex any more? Or got cancer and was too ill?




These purported gray areas where morality intersects with human empathy and compassion make perfect playgrounds for the devil to advertise that God isn't who He says He is, He didn't mean what He said and|or He lacks compassion for us {surely he wouldn't punish this woman or someone enduring 40 years of their spouses sickness - if He does, then He is an unjust God.



> Sorry but any person who cheats with other married people is disgusting in my view.


Many of these seniors with memory issues commit adultery in nursing homes and memory care facilities. It's a huge problem for the staff because they are adults and allowed to socialize with one another and they are patients entitled to some level of privacy. 

The moral question then becomes if your memory deficient spouse that doesn't even recognize you anymore commits adultery with another patient does that give the caring spouse a biblical out to divorce and remarry?

Is it adultery if they lack capacity and even if they lack capacity and|or culpability is the biblical out given to the betrayed spouse regardless because scripture has compassion for his/her pain despite God's will for reconciliation. 

I also indicated they'd need to remarry too. They can't divorce and run around fornicating without consequence. He/she would need to date and wait until they remarried to legitimately scratch the itch for sexual fulfillment. 

I sure hope I'm not tested like this.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I agree with Matt, it was an ad and I am pissed that I let myself be manipulated by it.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

As I mentioned, I haven't been in the person's shoes and it's not my place to judge (meaning, that I have other jobs in this world--being "the judge" isn't one of them). And I do totally understand that being a caregiver is hard and that Alzheimer's is a terrible disease...as is cancer and heart failure. 

Here's where I have MY problem though: I've BEEN a caregiver, and lived the life of having to nurse more/be a wife less. I've lived with a horrible disease that slowly takes them away from you. I just do not, in my heart of hearts, believe that relieves you of the promises you made to that person. If the one you love is completely bedridden, it's not "easy" to have to be at home alone all the time, but this is where the rubber meets the road and we get to see what kind of person you really are! Will you be self-centered and think only of "what you are losing or have lost"? Or will you be a person of integrity, find gratefulness in the things you do still have, and remember the declarations you made when life was all good and lovely? 

Again, we don't know what happened in private. It may well be an ad. But I still would not EVER consider that a reason in my own life.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I hope that if I start to get Alzheimer's I will recognize it quickly enough to kill myself. If I don't, then I say in advance that I do not expect anyone to do anything for me. That I will be worse than dead, and I hope I am never seen by anyone who loves me.

I watched Alzheimer's take my mother. It is horrible. If you haven't seen it, its difficult to imagine. 

I will not fault anyone who views their loved one as already dead.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

sokillme said:


> I agree with Matt, it was an ad and I am pissed that I let myself be manipulated by it.


 Didn't pick up on that when I posted this and certainly didn't intend to advertise for a scum of the earth site. If @MattMatt wants to delete it that's fine with me. I was just interested in the morals involved and what folks thought of it.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> People can try and justify anything if they want to. In sickness and in health applies here, the husband is sick, and the fact that she is cheating with other married men makes it far worse.
> I am not going to cheat on my husband no matter what, I dont have it in me, especially if he was so ill. Otherwise where do we draw the line? What if our spouse had an accident and couldn't have sex any more? Or got cancer and was too ill?
> Sorry but any person who cheats with other married people is disgusting in my view.



I agree Diana. This is cheating and it is disgusting. 

IMO, what happens if her husband has moments of being lucid and then finds out she's cheating on him ? Now he is dying of a horrible disease and now has to live his final years with a cheat. 

She can wait until he's taking a dirt nap before she goes out and starts ****ing around.

Adultery is adultery. What if he was paralyzed and sitting there knowing he couldn't have sex with her so he has to endure periods of her leaving the house and coming home smelling like another man ?

No freaking way


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Didn't pick up on that when I posted this and certainly didn't intend to advertise for a scum of the earth site. If @MattMatt wants to delete it that's fine with me. I was just interested in the morals involved and what folks thought of it.


For those who said cheating is acceptable in these circumstances, which I completely disagree with, would it be acceptable if I got Alzheimers that I preliminarily divorce my wife since I would be 'such a burden on her' that she would have to cheat on me ? Could I spare myself enduring an affair at the hands of my wife by divorcing and moving to Hawaii so I can relax and chill for the rest of my life so I don't have to deal with it ???

I refuse to be a victim of infidelity


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Didn't pick up on that when I posted this and certainly didn't intend to advertise for a scum of the earth site. If @MattMatt wants to delete it that's fine with me. I was just interested in the morals involved and what folks thought of it.


Me neither. I wonder what else we don't pick up on. Still depressing how far we have fallen that it could even be an ad. Sigh...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Didn't pick up on that when I posted this and certainly didn't intend to advertise for a scum of the earth site. If @MattMatt wants to delete it that's fine with me. I was just interested in the morals involved and what folks thought of it.


I think it lead to an interesting discussion, so let's leave it be.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

My grandmother had Alzheimers. By the time she went into nursing care she didn't recognize anyone consistently and within a year or so she didn't recognize anyone at all. Not my grandfather, not me, not my mother, and not my uncle. She also stopped speaking shortly after. She wasn't grandma anymore. She was a living shell devoid of personality. My grandfather remained married to her, visited her, and saw that she was well cared for in the home, but he did have a GF and none of us begrudged him that. Grandma died long before her body quit.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

@MJJEAN, 

You bring up a good point--I don't think anyone would begrudge someone in your grampa's situation, if he found maybe another lady who was a widow and understood the loss of companionship...and was free to be a companion. Why spend the remaining years alone? And I don't mean this mean, but at a certain age, what's really happening is that people are just being good friends who really care about each other. Nothing wrong with that. That's just compassionate if you ask me. 

But at the same time, to purposely set out to have an affair, and carry on with another married person who is not free to be a companion...that kind of goes against my personal grain. Like I said, in my own personal experience, my Dear Hubby could do less and less, and as he got more ill, he was more and more aware of how little he could do and how even his mind was shutting down on him. I drove him mad sometimes. But he could still watch a movie...and I could read him books...and he'd find a recipe and I'd cook it. The point being that the one who is relatively well could choose to look at the one who is declining and say "They can't ______" instead of saying "I made a promise, and we're both still living, so let's see if we can think of something you can do." Or if they become incoherent... I am still utterly coherent! I still remember who they are even if they have forgotten! So why not joke with the person who has no idea who you are? Why not treat them in a friendly, kind way and just hang out with them? Why not wipe their mouth and their butt and give them a hug anyway because they are still who they are? 

Again, I agree with you--I can't imagine the person who'd begrudge a decent friend who'd encourage and support and bring a little joy...if that person is free. I walked this walk, and I chose a different path though: I chose to be the one who remembered what I promised.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

Anybody who's been in a caregiver situation knows exactly how difficult it can be...and with a spouse with alzheimers? I can't freaking imagine. My brother in laws mom was smearing her own feces on the walls of her room and didn't know any of the family for the last many years of her life.

If somebody can find comfort in another and still care for their spouse, I'm not going to knock that.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

wmn1 said:


> I agree Diana. This is cheating and it is disgusting.
> 
> IMO, what happens if her husband has moments of being lucid and then finds out she's cheating on him ? Now he is dying of a horrible disease and now has to live his final years with a cheat.
> 
> ...


Agreed, and I know quite a few people who are or have cared for very sick spouses for a long time and none of them cheated or even thought about it. They are still their husband or wife.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Agreed, and I know quite a few people who are or have cared for very sick spouses for a long time and none of them cheated or even thought about it. They are still their husband or wife.


My Dad died in 1985, my Mom in 2009. Dad wasn't even alive and Mom still never went out or dated anyone. She swore on that to the final day and I strongly believe her. It can be done, and should be done if someone is still alive. Mom went the extra step. If Dad was alive, Mom certainly wouldn't have.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

wmn1 said:


> My Dad died in 1985, my Mom in 2009. Dad wasn't even alive and Mom still never went out or dated anyone. She swore on that to the final day and I strongly believe her. It can be done, and should be done if someone is still alive. Mom went the extra step. If Dad was alive, Mom certainly wouldn't have.


if anything happened to my husband I doubt I would ever date or marry again either. Not that here is anything wrong with doing so, but I doubt I would ever meet anyone with his patience and easy going and easy to please nature. Not his integrity or moral values. 
I am sure that you mum loved your dad very much.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> if anything happened to my husband I doubt I would ever date or marry again either. Not that here is anything wrong with doing so, but I doubt I would ever meet anyone with his patience and easy going and easy to please nature. Not his integrity or moral values.
> I am sure that you mum loved your dad very much.


Thanks Diana. And now they are in Heaven together with no third man around to cloud things up. You are a stand up person, Diana. Society would be better served with more people like you, or my Mom, being around


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

I wouldn't begrudge my wife finding another if I came up with a terminal illness. I have already swore to myself to divorce her if I do. I won't make her suffer unduly for something out of either, her or my control.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Windwalker said:


> I wouldn't begrudge my wife finding another if I came up with a terminal illness. I have already swore to myself to divorce her if I do. I won't make her suffer unduly for something out of either, her or my control.


If you were dying you wouldn't have time to divorce her. If she is any sort of woman she would refuse anyway.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> This topic has been discussed here before.
> 
> And, while my own opinion on the matter doesn’t _quite_ align with @Personal’s comment above, it comes pretty close.
> 
> ...


WOW!!:smile2:

The first Wow you ever got out of me. 
Will it ever be the last?

You finally had a lucid moment, too, MeThinks!


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> If you were dying you wouldn't have time to divorce her. If she is any sort of woman she would refuse anyway.


I understand your sentiment, but I would at the least get the process started. I also won't disagree with your assessment of her character as she wouldn't agree to it, but she doesn't get a choice in the matter. I won't be a burden to anyone.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

On this, uh, delicate topic.

This is a tough call, a tough moral decision. 

It is one thing to have a spouse leave you while both you and they are whole, lucid, sane.
It is another thing to leave a spouse who has left you due to mental insolvency, on a permanent mental vacation.

It is one thing to 'by chance' bump into another person who wants to share their time and love with you.
It is another thing to 'by choice' purposely seek out another person to have casual, short term sex and intimacy with. 

Most Alzheimer patients die within six to eight years of diagnosis. It would make sense to wait it out. 
Now, there have been cases where patients live more than twenty years with this disease.
Age of onset, general health and a whole list of factors determine longevity when diagnosed.

Who am I to tell another mortal that they are not permitted to love another. We live one time.
The thought of doing one-night stands, and casual sexual encounters while one's spouse is laying in a bed somewhere rubs me the wrong way. Big time.



Wait it out 'before' deliberately seeking comfort between the sheets with another. If you meet someone, 'by chance" you are on your own.
Your family will hate you for this. Something to remember.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I know of a case when a woman's husband developed Early Onset Dementia in his early 40s.

Due to an incompetent MD, this was not diagnosed for several years (misdiagnosed as depression) but when a different, locum, Doctor did diagnose it, he was very, very far gone.

He had to be placed in a secure ward of a psychiatric hospital and she and her three children were banned from visiting him because every time they visited him he flew into a rage, tried to attack them and the staff. He had no idea who his wife or his children were. 

It took the staff two days to calm him with sedatives after each visit, which was partially why they banned them from visiting.

They advised the family to move on and to accept the fact that their husband and father was, in effect, dead.

Eventually they moved away from the area and she met a man who she fell in love with. When I last heard of her she and the youngest child were living with her new man.

She refused to divorce her husband (her argument was that it wasn't his fault that he fell ill and did not get the proper treatment for several years) but she was young and I can't fault her decision to move on in the way she did.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

This really is not a black and white type of thing. I watched my mom take care of my dad. He did not know who she was, he did not know where he was. She quit her job, and walked away from most of her social life. Their friends stopped calling. Family got severely reduced to just the kids and them. Honestly, she worked from morning to night and way after dark to keep him safe and keep him from freaking out. 

I would hope that I could take care of my loved one to the end without having to resort to an infidelity dating site but I knew that my mother became intensely lonely. We got respite care and home workers, but at the end of the day, it was her caring for him. When she had her stroke and we were forced to institutionalize him, he was dead in a month. 

One never knows how one will react when faced with a horrible heartbreaking situation, therefore, one cannot make judgements. The subject of the video made her decisions and they appear to have worked out for her, I cannot bring myself to judge her in any way.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

SunCMars said:


> WOW!!:smile2:
> 
> The first Wow you ever got out of me.
> Will it ever be the last?
> ...


That’s funny, especially given this...



SunCMars said:


> On this, uh, delicate topic.
> 
> This is a tough call, a tough moral decision.
> 
> ...


It’s like you put down the bong for the whole two minutes it took you to type this out.

:lol: :rofl:


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Rubix Cubed said:


> This woman feels she deserves to have an affair because her husband has Alzheimers.
> I think that makes it even more despicable, not less. What do you think?
> 
> https://nypost.com/video/my-husband-has-alzheimers-and-i-cheated-on-him/


No excuses ever.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> That’s funny, especially given this...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Aye!

Lighten up Gus!

I can, you seem to roll in Won't, stuck in Just-Can't. :grin2:


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Taxman said:


> This really is not a black and white type of thing. I watched my mom take care of my dad. He did not know who she was, he did not know where he was. She quit her job, and walked away from most of her social life. Their friends stopped calling. Family got severely reduced to just the kids and them. Honestly, she worked from morning to night and way after dark to keep him safe and keep him from freaking out.
> 
> I would hope that I could take care of my loved one to the end without having to resort to an infidelity dating site but I knew that my mother became intensely lonely. We got respite care and home workers, but at the end of the day, it was her caring for him. When she had her stroke and we were forced to institutionalize him, he was dead in a month.
> 
> One never knows how one will react when faced with a horrible heartbreaking situation, therefore, one cannot make judgements. The subject of the video made her decisions and they appear to have worked out for her, I cannot bring myself to judge her in any way.


Even though she was cheating with a married man???

In the end it comes down to whether you believe in the vows you made when you married. Many spouses care for sick partners. Many children care for sick parents. That's life.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Even though she was cheating with a married man???
> 
> In the end it comes down to whether you believe in the vows you made when you married. Many spouses care for sick partners. Many children care for sick parents. That's life.


I can believe in the vows I made when I got married and simultaneously believe that I am released from them when my spouse ceases to exist, in mind if not in body.

It does not make me an oath breaker or a bad person. It makes me a realist.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Cletus said:


> I can believe in the vows I made when I got married and simultaneously believe that I am released from them when my spouse ceases to exist, in mind if not in body.
> 
> It does not make me an oath breaker or a bad person. It makes me a realist.



If my husband is still alive then he is still my husband and I am still his wife. The vows still apply.


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