# Blending Family Problem!!! Please help!!



## just4jack (Aug 15, 2008)

This is my first post and I am hoping to find some good advise for my sister (Kay)who is about to get remarried.
First let me give a few details before I explain the problem. My sister is 46 with two daughters (one 15 and the other is 18 entering her first year of college) Her future husband (Mac) is 56 with 3 grown children and an 8 year old daughter. Mac and Kay have dated for 4 years with a very healthy loving relationship. They both have their own homes but have decided that Mac's home will be where they will live once they are married. Mac's home is very plain and dull and is in desperate need of decorating and some "updating" which Mac has told Kay that she can do whatever she wants to make it a "home" for their new blended family!! 
Before I go any further let me say that Mac is VERY financially stable and has ask that Kay sign a pre-nup. (which Kay is fine with) Kay has a a great job and does very well to support she and her daughters but Mac's income is far greater than hers.
Now here is the problem.....who pays for the changes that need to be done to Mac's home to make it a "blended home"??? For example: In the bedrooms where Kay's daughters will be using ....new carpet is needed, new ceiling fans and the rooms need to be painted. 
In the common areas of the home there is also things to be done: entire interior needs to be painted, the house needs new carpet, all the light fixtures are extremely dated & need to be replaced, etc... Again, who pays for these items?
Please keep in mind that with the pre-nup that Mac will maintain full ownership in his home and Kay will have no ownership in the event they should ever divorce. Also keep in mind that Mac is very well off financially and money is not an issue. 
Based on the details I have given, who pays for the changes that needs to be done to the home?


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## Farfignewton (Aug 10, 2008)

I believe that since Mac is the sole owner of the home, and will continue to be even after divorce, that he should pay for any updates and decorating. If the house is ever sold then he will be the one with cash in hand. But if for example, she wants a big armoire and she pays for it then she gets to keep it if they split. Otherwise, he keeps the items unless they agree that she can take it with her. Like if he pays for the armoire, but they agree that it's really hers. They just need to sit down and really work this out.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i agree, its his home , he should pay.
unless you have joint ownership, even though happy together, its not happy the other end.
my aunty and her ex partner lived in his house.
he kicked her out a few times and she left of her own accord a few times.
but in the end , its always his house.

hindsight - i tell your sister to keep her house to.
i have seen this a few times to .
ppl in work and family, left homes to go with spouses and a few yrs later when they split up, they really had to start all over again.

one girl in work paid £30,000 for her home a few years ago.
met a fella and sold her house, she pocketed a lovely £50,000 profit.
after 4 yrs the relationship broke down. shed paid for the conservatory on the back of his house and improvements, he had no money.
she dipped and dipped into her profit. 
pretty much he left her for another and within a day of saying he wanted her out, she had to move out, because it was his house.
she tried to stay for what she had put into the house, but nevertheless he really had no regard and got all her belongings and chucked them out on the lawn.
he ended up with a very nice , cosy home. 
her previous boyfriend did the same to her, and so twice bitten.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

If it is to stay as his house then he should pay for it. After she sells her house she should bank the money. Paint and the job of painting might be taken on by her though because after all she is living there and from my understanding rent free.

Any damage or normal wear and tear should be replaced by Kay. Mean while she can continue to grow her savings account.

draconis


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Even though Mac is currently financially better off, I would make sure that any equity Kay has in her house is also stated as hers should they divorce (and any other assets). Maybe this is standard--I know nothing about pre-nups.

As far as his house (I think I would opt for selling hers and putting the equity into his and having the home as a joint asset but sounds like they already decided on keeping the homes separate) if he will continue to be responsible for the home expenses (mortgage/taxes/replacing appliances/general maintenance) and she will not be contributing a monthly 'rent' I would think splitting the costs would be fair. 

If however she will be paying a monthly rent, I would treat it as a legal landlord/tenant arrangement where he would keep the place 'rentable' by getting new carpet/painting/upgrading fixtures for the new tenants.


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

your sister needs to talk to mac about this!

or if shes worried about this she should keep her house and rent it to somebodythen if her and mac split she has still got somewhere to go and fall back on


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## LovingHimSoMuch (Aug 19, 2008)

I think if its going to be THEIR home they should start a savings TOGETHER after they are married so much in there a month and they should use that money to pay for what they need in the marriage!


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