# Bachelor Party



## leslie0715 (Sep 16, 2010)

My boyfriend is going to be a groomsman for his cousin's wedding and was recently invited to the bachelor party. Neither of us imagined it being something involving strippers until the groom made a reference to my boyfriend about the strippers that will be in the limo. This made me uncomfortable and I expressed this, although it is something that has already been talked about so I did not think too much of it. He offered not to go, but then I just got this overwhelming feeling that people would look badly at him and then look to me as the controlling girlfriend- when really this is something we both sincerely agree on. 

For some background...I am not a jealous or insecure person. I do trust my boyfriend and in terms of strip clubs I have never really had a problem with them in general- I have gone to them 3 or 4 times with a group of friends (boyfriend always included) and we had a funny and entertaining night...but that is all it was, just a funny thing. My boyfriend and I communicate openly with each other and the basic guidelines about the strip club has always been: only if we are together and no lap dances. I see it as a fair compromise, our male friends like to go, I don't want him to miss out and i'm sure he doesn't want to either and I don't mind going and I can do so and have a good time with them.

So this is where the bachelor party dilemma comes in. I am aware that strippers in a limo WILL be giving lap dances and this is already something I am not comfortable with, let alone him being with strippers in the first place. In this case he is very willing to not go because he doesn't see one night as being worth breaking something that we stand for. But what happens when it starts to be best friends and brothers getting married? I know that they will have just as much pressure for him to be there as our relationship is pressuring him to not be.

If I am with someone who wouldn't himself have a bachelor party with strippers and doesn't normally go to strip clubs out of both respect to me and because he doesn't have the desire to...why should it be allowed and expected to happen each time someone close to him is getting married? 

Confused and frustrated! Advice and thoughts would be appreciated


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## trying01 (Sep 13, 2010)

I am one of those people who could care less about strippers, but the fact they are in the limo is what I find weird.. Is it just for one part of the night? It would be pretty pricey to have them all night riding around in a limo and not very comfortable??? Can he get another mode of transportation to wherever they are going, then be in the limo the rest of the night? Or he can make it clear that he is not interested in it because he's not and it has nothing to do with you?.. But tricky thing about being in a limo you don't have very many places to escape... From the way it sounds its not about you being controlling its about what is comfortable - or uncomfortable - for him.. and you'd hope his family would respect that. 

As far as my husbands bachelor party and those he's been to there are always strippers. Not because the bachelor wants one but because the people planning it and attending it do. It's always more of a joke then a sexual thing - at least thats how it works and has worked in our group of friends. I have heard horror stories from random people, but in my opinion and experience they are more the exception than the rule.

Don't know if this helps but good luck!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I must confess, I don't understand 'stripper hatred'.

I didn't have strippers at my bachelor party. We rented a house on a river in the mountains for a weekend - it was cool. But one of my childhood friend's girlfriend was convinced that there would be strippers involved ... and freaked. It nearly ended their relationship - over something that didn't even happen.

That said, I've been to plenty of b-parties with strippers. My girlfriend, then spouse didn't care. Neither should you. I have never heard of a case where a the groom to be, or a bachelor party attendee ran off with a stripper. They don't 'hang' out at the party. They are present for 30 minutes ... tops. They do their thing, and then move on.

What exactly are you not comfortable with? Are you self conscious? Do you not trust your boyfriend? What do you think could possibly happen that will have a lasting or serious impact on your relationship - especially seeing as he appears to be devoted to you?

Tell him to go and have a good time, and don't worry about it. Because you are correct, if he doesn't, he will be mocked, and they will hold you responsible. That is simply the way it works.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If the presence of strippers bothers your boyfriend to the extent that he would prefer to absent himself and risk alienating his friends, he is free to choose not to go. As far as being "allowed", boyfriend or married, he is still an adult. Frequenting strippers is apparently not something he normally does and exposure to one as part of a celebration is unlikely to change who he is or his relationship with you. Strippers at bachelor parties has come to be sort of a tradition for many people. It would be great if your boyfriend didn't catch a load of grief over it. I don't go to strip clubs but if a close friend invited me to a bachelor party where strippers were to perform, my wife wouldn't lose it and she wouldn't pretend to "allow" or not "allow" me to attend. I have two jobs with bosses at each. Don't need one at home.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

I've walked out of bachelor parties (even my life long best friends) because they either had strippers or they were going to a strip club. I'm not saying it's wrong in general, but wrong for me. My wife has expressed to me how much she doesn't want me ever to be in one of those places. I choose to respect her wishes and not go anywhere near them. I think if you have a problem with it, he honestly should respect your wishes and not go.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Watching strippers isn't my cup of tea, but what poses the greatest danger to a relationship? A guy seeing female breasts displayed for entertainment in exchange for money or an intimate partner who presumes to dictate what her partner may or may not do or see? The stripper will disrobe, get paid, and go home. A partner who feels empowered to tell her boyfriend that he can't see the stripper will also likely feel it is her right to tell him other things he may not do; other places he may not go, what he can see, read, view, drink, hang out with, etc. That, IMO, is the greater danger. I'd wager that all the strippers throughout history haven't destroyed as many relationships as overbearing partners have.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

It sounds like he wouldn't be interested anyway, and it he's truly that uninterested, seems that his friends/family would already know that anyway. Whether they do or not, he can simply explain he has no interest, and that should be the end of it. 

If he's not into it, but wants to go so that his friends/family won't tease him or whatever, let him go. Honestly, to me, it's not that big a deal. He's going to be with a group of other people, not alone with her, and stripper does not equal hooker, **** or any other thing like that. She's going to strip, show off her body, collect her money (actually, she'll probably do this first), and then go home. I don't really think you have anything to worry about. As for the lap dances, he can simply refuse the lap dances. 

He's willing to not go. I'd tell him that you're fine with whatever he decides he wants to do, and if he decides to go, let him go and find something to do while he's gone to the party to keep your mind off it.


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## leslie0715 (Sep 16, 2010)

Thank you for all the input- I really do appreciate it since this is a new thing I am dealing with and I wasn't sure what the right way to react was. 

I spoke to him yesterday and the gist of the conversation was basically..."I do want you to go and have a good time, as long as you know where to draw the line." I guess I was referring to dancing and even lap dances being one thing...other things I have heard about, like stripper games that involve more sexual things (i.e. licking whipped cream off of her breasts, etc) would be quite another. Like I expressed he doesn't have an interest in this, but we differ in opinion in he believes it can be all good fun and I think it is still doing something sexual with a girl, paying her for "entertainment" or not. Basically, he thinks he will create more of a problem at a bachelor party by telling the stripper to "stop" or by walking out. He says he would rather not go than to make any promises that he doesn't know he would be able to keep. 

Am I still being too rigid to even imply I want a line drawn? I really don't think so but apparently many disagree with me! Also-- input from men who have been to bachelor parties about what kinds of things actually happens would be helpful. I have heard/read about a lot of raunchy things that maybe aren't even that realistic. Thanks.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

leslie0715 said:


> Am I still being too rigid to even imply I want a line drawn? I really don't think so but apparently many disagree with me! Also-- input from men who have been to bachelor parties about what kinds of things actually happens would be helpful. I have heard/read about a lot of raunchy things that maybe aren't even that realistic. Thanks.


In my opinion? No. As far as I'm concerned with something like this he should respect your wishes. He's in a relationship with you, not his friends. In my opinion social stigma be dammed, your more important then whatever his friends may make fun of him about it. Obviously others disagree with me and that is fine, we all are allowed to have differing opinions about life.

As to what goes on? Depends on the people involved. When alcohol, testosterone mix things can get out of hand quickly. There are also times things don't get out of hand as well. It's hard to say without knowing the group of guys your guy will be hanging out with.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Never been to a b-party with strippers.

But regarding lap dances - anytime I've had one, it just feels like a rip-off. It doesn't take much time being in a strip club to realize that the only interest these women have in you is what's in your wallet.

I guess I don't understand why you feel lap dances are crossing the line. My opinion - they are overrated. It really wouldn't be the end of the world for him to get a lap dance.

BUT - your last question - should you even imply that you want to draw the line - YES - you should imply - you should communicate and let him know how you feel. But he's an adult and the decision is ultimately his.


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## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

What is scary is that at some point the two of you will be getting married (Maybe?)... At that time, the same group of friends may well throw the same party with the strippers... If it is uncomfortable for you that he will be at the party with the strippers, how will you feel when it is HIS party and he is the focal point for the strippers?

I have never been to a strip club, although my wife has told me that it is okay for me to go if I want to. She has even asked me why I don't go to them now that I have her "permission". Strippers just aren't my bag. Point being, it is a trust issue. Either you trust that he will be a good boy, or you don't.

I can tell you now that the only reason he would skip the party would be to avoid an argument with you and to avoid making you angry. While strippers are not my brand of entertainment, I would still go to my friends bachelor party if strippers were involved. It's all part of the "game". Additionally, strippers just get naked (to varying degrees)... It is not as though he is attending a free-for-all sex fest where he will be required to make out and/or have sex with the strippers.

Ultimately, the attention of the strippers AND the Groomsmen will be focused on the groom anyway.

Good luck with this.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I respect Cryspy's input, but in my opinion ...yes, you are still being too rigid.

You seem to implicitly believe that your boyfriend's presence poses a direct threat to your relationship - and it just ain't so.

I have been to strip clubs. I have been to bachelor parties with strippers. Yep, I've seen the whipped-cream thing, that is for the groom to be only.

I didn't want strippers at my bachelor party. My friends respected that.

My wife to be had a bachelorette party, and one the things that the girls did was to find a good looking guy to try to convince her NOT to get married. They did ... and he dug his teeth into the job. He asked her out, danced with her, and asked her to move in. I know all of this of course because she told me. I just didn't sweat it. In hindsight I wish he had been successful 

You know your boyfriend isn't going to bang a stripper. Odds are he isn't even going to come close to putting money in a g-string. Nothing is going to happen - but it's apparent that you are pretty worked up about it, and I guess I can't shake wondering why that is?


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

Id rather cash in on the cool points & be the awesome trusting girlfriend thats says: I trust & love you. Have a great time! 
I purchased a lap dance for my husband for his bachelor party...gave the cash to the groomsman (our friend). personally i see strippers as a novelty. very very rarely will they be bunny ranchers that go all the way. 
trust him!! tell him he gets a private dance when he gets home so dont wear himself out on the party =P !!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## loveless1 (Aug 16, 2010)

Ive been to many a party for gm, its all fun usually the strippers are torturing the groom to be hard rough lap dance with the end a bucket of ice to cool him off then the atomic wedgie which involves the underware being ripped off and send home to drunkin possie... very rarely can you DO anything with them nor would ur boyfriend want to if its that easy for him and everyone at the party to get IT!! why would he want to!!! do you worry about him walking the street and meeting a nice girl??? thats more of a threat than a stripper. try and relax be the cool chick and trust him when he gets home f... his brains out as a reward to show him you are the ship!!! cool and hot at once good luck with this.


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## workin' (Jun 3, 2010)

I am pretty biased on this subject, so...I pretty much agree with Crypsys. If it is not something you are BOTH comfortable with, don't do it. As for peer pressure...if these guys are mature enough...it won't matter. nice777guy is right about one thing....the only interest IS in the wallet...and most(not rarely) will do whatever, for $$$. They do not, after all, keep all of the money-they have to split it with someone.

I wonder just what kind of dancing can be done in a limo, anyways? Seems only room for touchy-feely, to me, and as far as I am concerned, letting ANY woman rub on or touch my hubby is out of line. As Crypsys mentioned, alcohol will also play a part. 

We just almost lost our 22 year marriage over this, and we had had discussions years ago on this issue, and it was "just" visiting clubs.

It is not about giving/seeking permission, but preserving your relationship.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The guy in question isn't married. He has a girlfriend, not a wife. Even so, it's bad practice to say that either may do only those things the other is comfortable with. I was married to a woman who wasn't "comfortable" with me sitting in particular chairs or entering certain rooms in my own home. She wasn't comfortable with me adjusting the radio or the thermostat or the window in the car. In short, she was a psycho, control-freak. Marry a decent guy with values you can respect. Once he's wearing a ring, treat him with respect and just suck down 90% of the temptation you will have to correct or change him. That leaves 10% you can use for truly grave problems. This guy has done nothing wrong. There's no indication he wants to do anything wrong. He doesn't need to modify his behavior because it's perfectly normal, rational behavior for a male in his situation. Why should he start leaping through fiery hoops for a woman? He's with his girlfriend only because he chooses to be and he makes that decision every day. He doesn't need a chaparone, a list of rules, or a nose ring. If love aint enough to keep him faithful, nothing else is gonna work, either.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

unbelievable said:


> Watching strippers isn't my cup of tea, but what poses the greatest danger to a relationship? A guy seeing female breasts displayed for entertainment in exchange for money or an intimate partner who presumes to dictate what her partner may or may not do or see? The stripper will disrobe, get paid, and go home. A partner who feels empowered to tell her boyfriend that he can't see the stripper will also likely feel it is her right to tell him other things he may not do; other places he may not go, what he can see, read, view, drink, hang out with, etc. That, IMO, is the greater danger. I'd wager that all the strippers throughout history haven't destroyed as many relationships as overbearing partners have.


 Boy do I ever agree with what Unbelievable says here ! So very true. :iagree::iagree: 

I would just talk honestly about how YOU feel about it to him, if he is a good boyfriend, he will listen & hear you out, but I would personally still allow him the freedom to go. Hopefully he will come back and share all with you, maybe even how he didn't partake in some things that he knew would hurt you.


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## leslie0715 (Sep 16, 2010)

Thank you everyone for the help! Whether I agree with different opinions or not I sincerely appreciate hearing different types of input. 

Crypsys and Workin'- You reassured me that I am not crazy, and although many disagree, what I want is really not too much to expect  There are many traditions that are wrong- for some people- and this just happens to be one of them for me. Your significant others are very lucky to have you. It seems you treat them as friends rather than just a wife and this is exactly what I want out of my own relationship. 

Unbelievable- I do appreciate your feedback, although I would have to question your comparison of someone being uncomfortable with a naked woman grinding on her boyfriend to someone being uncomfortable with adjusting the radio 

None of my issues have to do with control but simply, something that I find disrespectful. Although I think its awesome to cash in on "cool girlfriend" points by buying my guy a cigar before I see him or taking a rain check on hanging out if he is playing video games with his friends- I have a little too much respect for myself to cash in on cool points by encouraging him to do something that makes me uncomfortable. And my boyfriend respects THAT.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

leslie0715 said:


> None of my issues have to do with control but simply, something that I find disrespectful.


You're still ducking the 64,000 dollar question. WHY do you find it disrespectful that he would attend a bachelor party at which stripper's were present? (To say nothing of the fact that he needn't interact with them for the time they are in attendance)

What if he chooses to go anyway? Does that translate into disrespect for you? Do you respect his decision, or do you punish him?

I'm not trying to get you to see that strippers have hearts of gold and remove their clothes only for humanitarian reasons. I don't care about the strippers. I personally find strippers almost as frightening as I find clowns ... I'd be much more worried if he were going to a bachelor party with clowns. OR ... EVEN WORSE ...












What I'm curious about is if your boyfriend is not going because the presence of strippers offends him ... or if he is choosing not to go because the presence of strippers offends you.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"....why should it be allowed and expected to happen each time someone close to him is getting married? "

You chose the word "allowed". My ex didn't start off being a radio dial freak. She started off with seemingly reasonable "suggestions" and "requests" and built from there. If she had been honest enough to say the word "allowed" to me when we were just dating, I'd have recognized what she was and ran like Jesse Owens.


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## workin' (Jun 3, 2010)

Some points:
The party is not being held at a public club, where participation is easier to avoid. I wonder why the party is being held inside a vehicle?

Yes, they are not married, but in a committed relationship.

The boyfriend also seems uncomfortable with this, is something that has been previously discussed, and "something we both sincerely agree on".

There is no evidence of overbearing, or controlling behavior.

"My boyfriend and I communicate openly with each other and the basic guidelines about the strip club has always been: only if we are together and no lap dances." This party seems to fall outside the agreed-upon guidelines.

Leslie, have you had more conversations on this?


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## leslie0715 (Sep 16, 2010)

"The party is not being held at a public club, where participation is easier to avoid. I wonder why the party is being held inside a vehicle?"

To answer that...I guess the party is a bar hopping deal, where they ride around in a limo and go to different bars...and the limo comes with "entertainment" in the limo. 

I have had more conversations with him about this, but we kind of just come back to the same thing. He is willing to respect my wishes about strippers/lap dances/strip clubs/etc because he also doesn't find it to be a big deal- if it weren't for the bachelor party and those in the future, he himself wouldn't initiate any desire to go. However, he knows that there will be some situations in which that will mean missing out on bachelor parties (whether it be this one, for other family members, or for his best friends). Neither of us think this is necessarily fair but there just doesn't seem to be many options to avoid it. We have discussed possibilities, such as going before or after those activities are going on. But we also recognize that sometimes there isn't a clear separation and it would be unreasonable in some cases (like this one- what would he do? drive his car around following the limo all night?) 

While we do want to just agree on something, neither of us want that to mean him missing out completely on these kinds of celebrations-- especially when it comes to his best friends in the future. 

My concern is that he is agreeing to not go now, but I don't want him to resent me for it down the road. I have asked if that could be the case and he said no, but it is still something that concerns me.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I've been to strip clubs and BPs with strippers, and my wife knows that I love her too much to do anything dumb. But there is one factor that everyone is overlooking:
In strip clubs and with strippers from "reputable" entertainment companies, the guys wouldn't be allowed (on their part, anyway)to get too close for comfort to the stripper anyway-there usually is a hired goon at these places and events who will turn into lasagna the face of any guy who tried anything. And strippers are not interested in scoring a meaningful relationship-they're only interested in making money.


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

Am i the only one who thinks that any kind of intimate touch is improper for a person in a relationship? 

On top of that, I don't understand the whole concept of US bachelour parties involving strippers. 
If a guy is happy and in love enough to get married, why the hell would he act like he's mouring the loss of his freedom and spend the day/s before his wedding day oggling semi-naked women? 
I'm not trying to criticize, i'm just trying to understand.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Nekko,

I agree with your position and I never could understand the lure of a bachelor party other than just tradition. Seems juvenile to me. We aren't discussing what this guy thinks or believes. He was invited to a bachelor party of a close friend. He didn't choose the venue. He can only choose to go or not. If it were a close friend, I would feel obligated to go. 
If the OP has to wonder if her BF might resent her later because he isn't going, then she must suspect that he actually does want to go. If she had simply stayed out of this decision, the question of any possible resentment on his part would have been avoided. If he went, it would have been totally his choice and if he had not gone, the decision would have been his alone. If he doesn't go, he likely has to explain to his buddies. More than likely, his excuse will include the fact that his girlfriend has a problem with his attendance. She gets to be Yoko, breaking up the Beatles and BF can expect to catch grief from his buddies every time her name is mentioned. She might not consider herself controlling, but his buddies will see it that way and will remind him frequently.


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## leslie0715 (Sep 16, 2010)

Nekko- this is exactly how I feel. If my boyfriend wouldn't participate in this "tradition" if we ourselves were to get married, why is it acceptable and expected every time a friend or family member gets married? I don't think it is. 

Unbelievable- how would I not play a part in this decision? When you are in a relationship, certain decisions are made together. You agree in a relationship that there are certain standards you expect the other to uphold...being intimate with another person is considered cheating, at least in my relationship. I don't expect another girl to be dancing and rubbing herself on my boyfriend and especially not if she is naked. If my boyfriend were at a party and some girl took her clothes off and started dancing (not likely but for the purpose of making a point) I would expect my boyfriend to leave the room. How is this situation any different? Except the naked girl is paid to be there and the men that are married and in relationships are given a "get out of jail free" card for something that would be considered cheating, simply because its a "tradition".


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## workin' (Jun 3, 2010)

My hubby and his circle of friends have had their bachelor parties at one or the other's house. They drink, smoke stinky cigars, and play poker until the wee hours. No strippers...and they have actually had FUN!

Generally, bachelor parties represent the groom's last night, before "responsible" married life. I cannot think of any behavior, that can risk the relationships of those involved, other than the strippers, especially with so much alcohol typically involved.

The US has become the country where bachelor parties are most associated with strip clubs and dancers. Personally, I see peer pressure, and the enticement of the "entertainment companies" as the prime factors.

@Nekko...no...you are not the only one who thinks that way.

@F-102...sorry...have to disagree. Believe me, I have investigated ad nauseam, and found that, yes, money-making is key...if the price is right, anything can be bought. You state guys wouldn't be allowed too close, "on their part, anyway". The strippers who make the most money are very experienced at getting the guys to want to pay more....for more.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

In the grand scheme of navigating your relationship successfully, you have bigger fish to fry then being concerned if your obviously commited boyfriend finds the hired help at a bachelor party attractive. Stage is already set for one of you to resent whatever choice is made. Quite simply - THAT is the far larger issue in the long run. Hope it all works out for the both of you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workin' (Jun 3, 2010)

I do not think leslie0715's concern should be trivialized. Some couples are very permissive and agreeable in this situation. However, if they are not, a sexual situation like this could disrupt any relationship. I cannot help but notice so many negatives towards her feelings. What if the situation were reversed? This is something they have discussed already. It seems that neither one of them, wants the boyfriend to go. Why should the party dictate his relationship??


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Leslie, under what authority would you play a part in this decision? He's a boyfriend. You can either accept him as he is or find another. Nothing in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship empowers one to change the other. A wife has somewhat more standing to exert herself in her husband's decisions. His body has been promised to her, so she has a say in how it's used. He has agreed to support her or at least share in her support. She has a legitimate say in how he spends money. If they share a home, she has a legitimate say in how he helps maintain it. 
When did he lose his right and ability to make independent adult decisions? How did that happen? Was it the act of sexual intercourse? If so, somebody should have explained that to him before allowing him access. Was it when he said, "I love you."?
If so, I'm sure he was merely expressing an emotion and not purposely surrendering his autonomy. 
Nobody's contemplating performing some sex act here. He's riding in a limo with other people. There may be one or more women in various states of undress. I'm guessing he's seen female breasts before. They're great, but they possess no magical powers you need to fear.


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## MrHurting (Sep 12, 2010)

IMHO...if you can't trust your partner at a strip club or with strippers, you don't have a very strong relationship. If he was just wanting to hang out in these situations for his own good I could understand your concern, but it's a bachelor party, he is suppose to be there to make sure his cousin has a good time, the strippers will be focused on the bachelor anyways.


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## funfun (Oct 27, 2010)

WOW. I was really put off by a lot of the responses and had to join this site to put my two cents in. First of all, it seems like this couple has a really open, communicative relationship in which going to strip clubs, and sexuality is not feared, but embraced. That said, this bachelor party plan is something very different. Either a lot of people out here are ignorant, or they're trying realllly hard to uphold the guy code of what happens in the VIP room stays in the VIP room. Money will buy you anything from a willing stripper. and a group of strippers going on a night drinking binge in a limo know what they're getting into and what they're getting out of the night $$$$$$

Hired help in a limo---- i'm not sure if the guys know that the girls also know what money will buy --- pretty much anything when it comes to strip clubs (VIP room anyone??). i think the whipped cream is the least of the things that could happen in that limo. For the right price even sex is on the table, let alone touching of private parts on both the stripper and the clients and oral sex. There is no "NO TOUCH" policy in a limo and no big dude enforcing that. I do imagine for the sake of all the relationships at hand there would be a no photos policy though ;-)

that's the bottom line. 

if you trust your boyfriend and you guys have the relationship it sounds like you have, then i'm sure he'll do everything in his power not to participate in anything that makes him or you uncomfortable. that said, he will most likely be exposed to things that go far beyond a woman taking her clothes off and dancing... how do you even dance in a limo? i don't think the plan is dancing....

good luck! and remember that your man loves YOU - just keep the dialog open after the fact, honesty will be key and what will be more KEY is you respecting that he's being honest and you trying not to overreact to something that was not his idea and that he felt weird about. Whatever he tells you happens, deep breaths and don't get so upset that he feels he can't tell you things like this in the future. If he doesn't want to tell you something that happened to someone else you realllly should not demand to know. That puts him and you in the middle of someone ELSE'S relationship. I don't doubt that something sexual will happen to a guy friend you know in that limo and you knowing will be hard for that girlfriend that i'm sure your friends with. SO don't ask those questions. Focus on what he did (NOT) do. Be calm, and rational and if it comes down to it you are allowed to say that him touching or being touched by another women is not something you can accept. But I doubt it would come down to that for you - cause your man sounds like he's on the same page as one on this one. I'm sure he'll agree if you talk about it being you instead. Remember that his heart wasn't really in this and that he's not gonna be the one asking if she'll ...

(why are people talking about you not trusting your man at strip clubs?? did they not read your posts?)


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## workin' (Jun 3, 2010)

:iagree: .....'nuff said


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