# HD to OD...Feel Bad For the Wife



## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

So I have made a few posts around here and have received some much needed assistance so thanks to all of you. Recently I have had a change in some of the prescriptions that I have been taking. I have gone from HD to Overdrive and I feel awful for my wife because she is LD. We went from about once every 6-8 weeks to about 4-5 times a week over the last month or so. Needless to say I hope it lasts but I know she doesn't want it that much or really ever, so I know she is doing this for me. Don't get me wrong once I get her going she is into it but she has no drive or desire to initiate. I talked to my doctor and with how the medicines are helping he does not really want to change them, nor do I for that matter. My question here is more about how can I approach sex without just coming out and saying..."Hey wanna have a quickie at lunch today?" or "Let's do it". I only ask because from time to time she can be a little think and not get the hint if I don't come out and explicitly say I want to have sex. Most of the time the thought would not even come to mind that that is what I am looking forward to after a nice romantic dinner or a long back rub.

Most of the time I would consider the sex very vanilla but hey its much better than none at all. She has a ton of sexy little outfits from simply sexy to naughty but unless I direct her to exactly which one I want her to wear she would just assume take off her clothes and start in with whatever.

Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated, or if anyone has had any similar experiences and how you dealt with them. Also, if anyone has any ideas on ways to get her in the mood without actually saying it that would be beneficial.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

First, maybe you should explain to your wife that full-blown intercourse isn't necessary. If you're both willing to do a HJ of BJ sometimes, it will take the pressure off her to be fully engaged every time.

Second, ask her what she may like as foreplay... a massage, maybe a soak in the tub, maybe porn.

Third, advance planning. Maybe in the morning you tell her you'd like sex that evening and let her determine what she needs to do to get ready. She may "get ready" by doing the chores around the house so she has more time to relax and enjoy that evening.


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## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> First, maybe you should explain to your wife that full-blown intercourse isn't necessary. If you're both willing to do a HJ of BJ sometimes, it will take the pressure off her to be fully engaged every time.
> 
> Second, ask her what she may like as foreplay... a massage, maybe a soak in the tub, maybe porn.
> 
> Third, advance planning. Maybe in the morning you tell her you'd like sex that evening and let her determine what she needs to do to get ready. She may "get ready" by doing the chores around the house so she has more time to relax and enjoy that evening.


So lets start with saying that sometimes I am socially inept and that causes an issue. I know many guys are more logic driven and less emotional and I would say in many cases I take that to another level. I am not very tactful with these conversations and usually I am rather blunt. Unfortunately blunt is usually not sexy, and everytime I try to be more sexy I can't seem to get the words out in the right order. The last thing I want is to sound like a porn. So my question in return would be how can you approach this gracefully? Usuallly when it comes to foreplay I give and really don't get much in return. For the most part I am ok with that but sometimes I want more and I don't know how to ask without ruining the mood, let alone if there is limited or no physical intercourse. I hope this makes some sense because it really is just my thoughts as they were coming to me.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Try practicing sexy emails or texts?
That gives you a chance to proof read it, delete, edit, tweak it so it does not sound so "harsh".

You can work on wording it as more "romantic"?

Something along the lines of telling her how much you enjoy spending that time with her, you think she is beautiful \ sexy, and it means a lot to you. Loosen her up a little bit... then you can gently tell her what you "enjoy" the most, without being crude, and might be a good way to ask her for oral sex?


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