# How to contact AP's spouse



## uncover (Aug 19, 2015)

Hello

i see a lot of advice suggesting to expose affair to AP's spouse, but how do people get their contact info?

thx


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

If you know who the ap is, google them, then look them up on FB as a start.


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## tpdallas (Aug 28, 2015)

I see that all the time too. What's the purpose of doing this? It's seems like focusing on your own healing would be more important than getting into another couples business.

Just my thoughts, but enlighten me.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

tpdallas said:


> I see that all the time too. What's the purpose of doing this? It's seems like focusing on your own healing would be more important than getting into another couples business.
> 
> Just my thoughts, * but enlighten me*.


Big D, (Join Date: Aug 2015)

Hang on... Here it comes!


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

tpdallas said:


> I see that all the time too. What's the purpose of doing this? It's seems like focusing on your own healing would be more important than getting into another couples business.
> 
> Just my thoughts, but enlighten me.


It's the best way to stop the affair. Plus why shouldn't the other AP suffer the consequences?

Honesty is always the best course of action.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

The spouse of the betrayer's partner has a right to know what their spouse has been betraying. It's a matter of honesty and full disclosure. It is also often a help in healing. Otherwise, that person is being deceived and lied to by all the other 3.


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## tpdallas (Aug 28, 2015)

Thanks for explaining it.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

uncover said:


> Hello
> 
> i see a lot of advice suggesting to expose affair to AP's spouse, but how do people get their contact info?
> 
> thx


Are you looking for email, phone, work, or just basic home address?

Sometimes work is the best way to know you won't get intercepted by the cheater, but its a tough blow to receive that info there.

Googling "Her Name" and the city or state like mad will often turn up something. Now that landlines are disappearing, phone numbers are tougher. There are lots of free things out there that might be able to quickly locate someone, but some of the pay-sites are quicker if you have name and general age.

Zabasearch is good, and free. 
Some more:
15 Free Web Tools You Can Use To Find People Online

This place charges about $10/month I think, but is not a scam. Watch out for the recurring charges though! You probably need to cancel when done.
Find People, Lookup Phone Numbers, Run Background Checks, 
Access Public Records | USSearch.com

Also, check to see if your county clerk has an online website. They will often allow you to search for property owners by name. If the cheater is married, owns a home, often they are spouse will be listed in these records, along with address.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Several reason to expose come to mind. The first has been mentioned. The second is to not expose is it means a tacit approval. Read the poster odat's thread. The AP was using his workplace and position to conduct affairs. Would you be ok with that? Read F-102's anatomy of a emotional affair. Exposing the adultery and reasons for it serves as a warning to others. There are many others.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Their spouse and you need to be checked out for STDs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

tpdallas said:


> I see that all the time too. What's the purpose of doing this? It's seems like focusing on your own healing would be more important than getting into another couples business.
> 
> Just my thoughts, but enlighten me.


if reconciliation is the goal, it's better to have two sets of eyes on the affair partners to make sure it doesn't spark back up.


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