# Need a Woman's Perspective



## cisco7931 (May 2, 2011)

Short story - Married for 6 years, one 5 year old child. Separated for two months. No abuse at all, just (probably) a bad sense of communication. Married life was 80% happy (in my opinion)

How can women: Loose weight and become too Hot and sexy in two months, be "happy", get so angry with the husband you left, avoid common friends. Keep on hurting husband through text, knowing that husband is too emotional.

I intend to keep the details scarce, I just want to find out how women can be like these while Men get too depressed?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Uh, some women are on the receiving end of just what you said.

My advice: stop reacting to her. Stop responding to her BS. What she is saying to you is obviously getting to you since you're upset. 

Sounds like she is gone. So treat her as such. From now, only discuss co-parenting and legalities if you're separating/divorcing.


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## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

Was the weight an issue in your marriage? Did you treat her differently when she was heavier?


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## cisco7931 (May 2, 2011)

^ Absolutely not, I tell her everyday that she is the most beautiful person in the world. I never had issues with showing, telling my affection to her. 

My point was, she has improved so much on our last few weeks that were together, and she has blossomed after we separated. 

How can women's heart be so hardened if we didn't have a "hell" relationship? No abuse, no nothing. Its just lack of communication and "she just got tired of me"... 

Is the cliche still true that she doesnt mean everything that she says and her pride and selfishness is getting the better of her?


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

cisco7931 said:


> ^ Absolutely not, I tell her everyday that she is the most beautiful person in the world. I never had issues with showing, telling my affection to her.
> 
> My point was, she has improved so much on our last few weeks that were together, and she has blossomed after we separated.
> 
> ...


Marriage is a two-way street. Perhaps there were things that she needed from you out of the marriage, that you never provided her - not material things, but emotional things? You haven't given very much information about the dynamics of your relationship, but as they say, it takes two to tango and you have a part in the disintegration of your marriage as well as she.


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## cisco7931 (May 2, 2011)

> Marriage is a two-way street. Perhaps there were things that she needed from you out of the marriage, that you never provided her - not material things, but emotional things? You haven't given very much information about the dynamics of your relationship, but as they say, it takes two to tango and you have a part in the disintegration of your marriage as well as she.


I wish I knew what she wanted (I know some of it, and those I'm improving on now). Thats our problem, she never told me any of those things and now that were apart, its sad that she said that "we" have been trying to make it work for our kid for the past 3 years... That hit me like lightning, how can there be a "we" when "I" never knew we had a problem and the marriage was at stake? "I" thought we had issues that "we" fixed. But apparently, not the case...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

For whatever reason, she has checked out. You will never get a satisfactory answer to your question because only she knows why she checked out. 

It's NOT gender-specific either. Lots of men check out of their marriages and women are left wondering WTF happened? How could he turn off his feelings so quickly and move on. 

You may not have felt there were problems but she did. It sucks but most break ups aren't mutual.


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

"just (probably) a bad sense of communication. Married life was 80% happy (in my opinion)"

Cisco,

Obviously married life was not 80 percent happy for the both of you. Did you suspect anything was wrong in the relationship while you were with her? Had she ever told you she was unhappy at any point?

By the way, lack of communication is very serious and yes it can end a relationship. People need sharing and validation in a relationship.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

This might not even be about you. Some women regret missing out on their youth because they married too young, other women go through bouts of mid life crisis and others are just plain messed up.


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## mayatatia (Jul 3, 2011)

Are you sure she's not a man in drags? Sounds like something a man would do... lol But in truth, it just sounds like she is completely done with the relationship.


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