# Mommy-Pouch...Yuck?



## MN_Mommy (Jun 16, 2011)

*I am a young woman (early 30's), and have 3 beautiful children. My husband and I are very comfortable together sexually, and for the most part, I dont mind being naked around him. The only thing is, my stomach. After my first child, my stomach muscles were shot. I had stretch marks, and now I have extra skin. It is so ugly, and I hate it. I know surgery is the only way to get rid of it, and that isn't an option, but would this turn you off? 
I will catch my husband looking at me sometimes, and he never looks disgusted, but I know he is looking at my stomach, and he isn't turned on in the least bit. I consider myself a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. We have sex a lot, and its always great sex. BUT...I have noticed that ever since I had my first child, and my stomach looked this way...he wont touch me there. The lights always need to be turned off. I feel like I disgust him. 
Guys or ladies...would this turn you off? Is it a deal breaker? *


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

It sounds like you really don't have anything to worry about - you guys still have great sex! So many don't. If my hubby was that turned off by my tummy, I'll find another hubby. I've had three kids also and am pushing 50. If he wants the body I had when I was 20 he's SOL.


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## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

MN_Mommy said:


> *I am a young woman (early 30's), and have 3 beautiful children. My husband and I are very comfortable together sexually, and for the most part, I dont mind being naked around him. The only thing is, my stomach. After my first child, my stomach muscles were shot. I had stretch marks, and now I have extra skin. It is so ugly, and I hate it. I know surgery is the only way to get rid of it, and that isn't an option, but would this turn you off?
> I will catch my husband looking at me sometimes, and he never looks disgusted, but I know he is looking at my stomach, and he isn't turned on in the least bit. I consider myself a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. We have sex a lot, and its always great sex. BUT...I have noticed that ever since I had my first child, and my stomach looked this way...he wont touch me there. The lights always need to be turned off. I feel like I disgust him.
> Guys or ladies...would this turn you off? Is it a deal breaker? *


I have the same issue that you do. It's very common.
My husband actually as commented that he dislikes the baby pouch... Yes, it was hurtful but, he was right. I have been dieting and exercising, lately. I have been noticing some changes  I don't think it will ever be like before but it can improve greatly.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> It sounds like you really don't have anything to worry about - you guys still have great sex! So many don't. If my hubby was that turned off by my tummy, I'll find another hubby. I've had three kids also and am pushing 50. If he wants the body I had when I was 20 he's SOL.


I agree. I would look at it like a constant reminder of the wonderful gift you have gave your husband.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

How long ago since you had a baby?


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I dont get dudes that like their wives to have tight stomachs. Just seems so masculine to me....

It's like wanting your her to have a tiny flat butt....doesn't compute.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Meh ... real women have pouches.


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## Zookeepertomany (Jun 27, 2013)

I hope it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I have had 8 children all by c/s. I have a pouch, no amount of exercise will fix it only surgery. Surgeon when inside said and the nurse the muscles/skin where shot. 
It hasn't stopped my husband. I told him if he ever really hated it he could pay to fix it or find a new wife. He says he doesn't care it was from his kids. Someday if I ever had the money laying around I might have it fixed.
Have you actually asked your husband?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MN_Mommy said:


> *I am a young woman (early 30's), and have 3 beautiful children. My husband and I are very comfortable together sexually, and for the most part, I dont mind being naked around him. The only thing is, my stomach. After my first child, my stomach muscles were shot. I had stretch marks, and now I have extra skin. It is so ugly, and I hate it. I know surgery is the only way to get rid of it, and that isn't an option, but would this turn you off?
> I will catch my husband looking at me sometimes, and he never looks disgusted, but I know he is looking at my stomach, and he isn't turned on in the least bit. I consider myself a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. We have sex a lot, and its always great sex. BUT...I have noticed that ever since I had my first child, and my stomach looked this way...he wont touch me there. The lights always need to be turned off. I feel like I disgust him.
> Guys or ladies...would this turn you off? Is it a deal breaker? *


My wife has a pretty big surgical scar on her stomach. I think it's OK because it is HER scar, damn it!

As for women with your tummy, I hope you aren't freaked out, but I think it can look sort of cute.

It's like a badge of honour, really.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

MN_Mommy said:


> *I am a young woman (early 30's), and have 3 beautiful children. My husband and I are very comfortable together sexually, and for the most part, I dont mind being naked around him. The only thing is, my stomach. After my first child, my stomach muscles were shot. I had stretch marks, and now I have extra skin. It is so ugly, and I hate it. I know surgery is the only way to get rid of it, and that isn't an option, but would this turn you off?
> I will catch my husband looking at me sometimes, and he never looks disgusted, but I know he is looking at my stomach, and he isn't turned on in the least bit. I consider myself a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. We have sex a lot, and its always great sex. BUT...I have noticed that ever since I had my first child, and my stomach looked this way...he wont touch me there. The lights always need to be turned off. I feel like I disgust him.
> Guys or ladies...would this turn you off? Is it a deal breaker? *


No not at all.

We are older than you and my wife has mentioned this at times.

As far as I'm concerned it is her tummy, I love her and that tummy bore me four children.

I often idly stroke her tummy when we are having a cuddle before sex or sleep. Yes it is now a bit rounded where it was once flat but I'm not in the same shape I was 25 years ago either.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

MN_Mommy said:


> *I am a young woman (early 30's), and have 3 beautiful children. My husband and I are very comfortable together sexually, and for the most part, I dont mind being naked around him. The only thing is, my stomach. After my first child, my stomach muscles were shot. I had stretch marks, and now I have extra skin. It is so ugly, and I hate it. I know surgery is the only way to get rid of it, and that isn't an option, but would this turn you off?
> I will catch my husband looking at me sometimes, and he never looks disgusted, but I know he is looking at my stomach, and he isn't turned on in the least bit. I consider myself a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. We have sex a lot, and its always great sex. BUT...I have noticed that ever since I had my first child, and my stomach looked this way...he wont touch me there. The lights always need to be turned off. I feel like I disgust him.
> Guys or ladies...would this turn you off? Is it a deal breaker? *


Oh wow I really feel you on this because I'm about to have one in 2 months. I've continue to work out throughout the pregnancy but I'm pretty sure that just depend on the body type whether it help or not. 

But if you all are continue to have good sex your H must be still turn on right?


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

I will be honest. Dealbreaker, definitely not. However my perception is probably a lot like my wife’s about her mommy pouch; It isn’t flattering at all and kinda “ick”. I loved her flat toned belly. Third kid did a number and left that pouch. It didn’t go away like the other two. I miss the flat belly too. 

And yes, I avoid touching it. She hates that pouch, I know. It’s a conversation men dread because there is no right answer. Kinda like the man’s bit size question he might pose to you: You know the ‘truth’ may not be the wisest answer, but you can’t lie that much either...

If you want a specific answer, I’d just tell him what to say that might comfort you. Like; “Does this belly bother you? (The right answer is ‘no honey, I love everything about you including that wonderful belly!’; use enthusiasm please) “ Otherwise, he might be like me and tell you the truth... and you might be like mine who will twist that during arguments down the road to point out how cruel and mean I am and one up it with some ‘observations’ about my insecurity about my own bits. That’s the ‘wrong way’... 

We spouses are more than happy to have an “out” for trick questions and lie the sweetest thing you can think of to tell you even if we both know it is a lie.... it lacks deception that way.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Thound said:


> I agree. I would look at it like a constant reminder of the wonderful gift you have gave your husband.





sinnister said:


> I dont get dudes that like their wives to have tight stomachs. Just seems so masculine to me....
> 
> It's like wanting your her to have a tiny flat butt....doesn't compute.





MattMatt said:


> My wife has a pretty big surgical scar on her stomach. I think it's OK because it is HER scar, damn it!
> 
> As for women with your tummy, I hope you aren't freaked out, but I think it can look sort of cute.
> 
> It's like a badge of honour, really.





WyshIknew said:


> No not at all.
> 
> We are older than you and my wife has mentioned this at times.
> 
> ...


Aww you guys are being so sweet! Group hug (( ))

Ok that was corny but I'm allowed. LOL


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## Wazza (Jul 23, 2012)

My wife has a baby tummy. Reminder of our beautiful kids. She is like a fine wine....gets better with age. 

And I mean that, I am not just making light of things. The closer we grow as people the more beautiful and sexy she becomes.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Wazza said:


> My wife has a baby tummy. Reminder of our beautiful kids. She is like a fine wine....gets better with age.
> 
> And I mean that, I am not just making light of things. The closer we grow as people the more beautiful and sexy she becomes.



Wazza see my post #13. 

Racer!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

My wife has this. Not a problem for me. She's self conscious about it which sucks but I don't really care. I've got bigger fish to fry so to speak.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> Racer!


Cut him some slack his wife hasn't been nice to him AT ALL.

She's lucky he's still THERE. 

Her mommy pouch is the least of her concerns.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I would bet you have more problems with it than your husband does.


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## toxxik (May 20, 2013)

I am 37 and a mom to two awesome kids, and yes I have a visual reminder when I see my stomach. I have been self conscious about it but I also have to remind myself that although there are some stretch marks (cruelest joke ever because they showed up after delivery) and a little extra stretch overall I still look pretty good. My doctors told me years ago that some people aren't meant to have perfectly flat tummies and I am one of them. Way back when I was less than 100lbs and still had a rounded stomach. My drs explanation was that I have really narrow hips and organs have to go somewhere. Now with all that in mind I won't let that be an excuse to just not care though
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

committed4ever said:


> Wazza see my post #13.
> 
> Racer!


He's being honest and don't we women say we want men to be honest in their communication? When a question is asked, we have to be prepared to hear the answer, otherwise why bother to ask the question. 

Besides, if I remember his story correctly, his wife cheated on him and they've reconciled. He's put up with quite a bit.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I have a baby pouch also. it got smaller as time has gone on, but it is not flat. I have no muscles there anymore and to top it off I had a c-section with my last baby.. And i fear it will just get worse now that I am 5 months pregnant and having to have another c section. 

My husband has no issues with my pouch, he likes it actually, because that is where his children came from.

Men who have issues with a pouch after the birth of their children, shouldn't have children!! Woman's body's just aren't the same after having a child.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

My wife has one and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. If you're uncomfortable with it, there are other options besides surgery. You could maybe try some lingerie to hide it like a teddy.


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Do you moms and dads out there know about the Web site The Shape of a Mother?

The Shape of a Mother

I find it a wonderful comfort and inspiration. It's a place where women show how motherhood changed their bodies, and can get and offer support. No matter how your body handled pregnancy, you can find a similar size and shape here, and see women struggling, accepting, and loving the changes. 

Mommy pouches and all.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Dont allow absurd body expectations to keep you from feeling good about yourself. Women are supposed to be soft and cushiony. We are not supposed to look like concentration camp survivors, crack addicts and anorexics! We are supposed to be rounded, cushioned, and plush to give nourishment and life. In other countries, the mommy pouch is considered sexy, a badge of accomplishment! ******* Avenue advertising execs can kiss my soft rounded a$$!

I have a baby pouch, plus c section scars, plus scars across and under my right breast, plus two deep puncture scars (from chest tube insertions) that look like bullet holes just below my breast and this summer, at the age of 50, I am wearing a two piece bathing suit at the beach....without apology, without shame, without remorse! It's all in how you carry yourself, how you feel about yourself, how you love yourself for who you are. I am by no means perfect, but I love my body and I love sex and when a woman combines those two attitudes... Not even a perfect model can compare. I got this way through hard work, surviving, and loving life. Obviously, I'm not perfect, but I look damn hot for a woman my age but if not for the confident attitude I would not get the positive reception.

I see young mothers wearing "bathing costumes" because they don't have the Pre-pregnancy body and they are ashamed, and it makes me ill! They look beautiful, and that little bit of belly is adorable!

So knock it off with the self critique, stand up straight and love your body for the wonderful things it can do, has done, and will continue to do!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'm thinking maybe I'm misunderstanding what people are referring to. My wife doesn't have much of a belly. She has great curves and a mostly flat stomach. She's 5'6" 130lbs. Her issue is the loose skin that hangs down several inches from 3 c sections. Is that what you mean by mommy pouch? If that skin were removed her tummy would be quit flat. But because of it she's self conscious, won't wear a bikini. It doesn't bother me, except the way she hides herself. But she's getting better.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> Dont allow absurd body expectations to keep you from feeling good about yourself. Women are supposed to be soft and cushiony. We are not supposed to look like concentration camp survivors, crack addicts and anorexics! We are supposed to be rounded, cushioned, and plush to give nourishment and life. In other countries, the mommy pouch is considered sexy, a badge of accomplishment! ******* Avenue advertising execs can kiss my soft rounded a$$!
> 
> I have a baby pouch, plus c section scars, plus scars across and under my right breast, plus two deep puncture scars (from chest tube insertions) that look like bullet holes just below my breast and this summer, at the age of 50, I am wearing a two piece bathing suit at the beach....without apology, without shame, without remorse! It's all in how you carry yourself, how you feel about yourself, how you love yourself for who you are. I am by no means perfect, but I love my body and I love sex and when a woman combines those two attitudes... Not even a perfect model can compare. I got this way through hard work, surviving, and loving life. Obviously, I'm not perfect, but I look damn hot for a woman my age but if not for the confident attitude I would not get the positive reception.
> 
> ...


Anon you are my hero.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

From a purely objective point of view, most guys are going to find a flat stomach more attractive than the mommy pouch. This is no different from most women preferring a guy with a flat stomach over a gut that hangs down, so lets not go demonizing guys who are being honest because women are the same way. It just is.

My STBW, and me by proxy, got really lucky. She went through two pregnancies with no stretch marks at all. She has a bit of a belly now and is very self conscious about it. I have seen some pictures of her from when she was much younger with a flat stomach, and she looked damn good, but that doesn't mean I am any less attracted to her now. When we are making love, I make love to her whole body, stomach and all, and I love every minute of it. The lights are always on because she is so incredibly beautiful, and I don't want to miss a moment of it.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

So sorry Racer. 

I was being tongue in cheek but didn't realize your history.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Is mommy pouch and loose skin the same thing?


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## MN_Mommy (Jun 16, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I'm thinking maybe I'm misunderstanding what people are referring to. My wife doesn't have much of a belly. She has great curves and a mostly flat stomach. She's 5'6" 130lbs. Her issue is the loose skin that hangs down several inches from 3 c sections. Is that what you mean by mommy pouch? If that skin were removed her tummy would be quit flat. But because of it she's self conscious, won't wear a bikini. It doesn't bother me, except the way she hides herself. But she's getting better.


No, this is exactly what I am talking about. I don't have a gut, but I have loose skin and stretch marks.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

If you feel that bad about it, why don't you get it fixed? Your husband is never going to admit he doesn't like it, but even if he did, you would resent him for it. In any case, you seem to have a big problem with it, so why not look into surgery? It won't make you a lesser person to do this.


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## Zookeepertomany (Jun 27, 2013)

I have loose skin too and it is what it is, that's my attitude. 
Sounds like yours is a bigger deal to you rather than your husband. Find a plastic surgeon and look into it. If the stretch marks are low the surgery will remove most of them. However, remember if there is actually self confident issues no surgery will fix that, that comes from within.


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## Laila8 (Apr 24, 2013)

I have the loose skin too, and I hate it. I had a 9 lb 6 oz baby.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I had a tummy tuck + tubal ligation after our last child was born. That was about 13 years ago, and I've never regretted it. The only part I wish I hadn't done was having my abdominal muscles sewn together.

Throughout my childbearing years, I affectionately called it my 'jabba the hut tummy', cause that's how it looked to me. It was loose skin that no amount of exercise was going to correct, and it ended up being about 3 pounds worth, I think.

My plastic surgeon was more on the conservative side and wanted to take off the minimum, so I still have tons of stretch marks under my belly button, and, of course, the scar.

At the time, the surgery was around $3,500, it was outpatient, and I was totally doped up and out of it for the first 3 days. But it healed well, and I'm glad I did it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I practice hot yoga. I see women my age, younger and older wearing extremely minimal skimpy costumes in class. There are several women older then me who are absolute stunning knock outs! They are soft, rounded and exude not only confidence but a level of sexuality in how they care for their health and body. I also see young women who are stick figures and they don't exude one tenth of the womanly charm and sexuality the older women do. I also see women who are probably anorexic with zero fat on their body, zero muscle definition, and they are the ones who hide behind longer more conservative costumes. I wish I could post pictures of the over 45 crowd of women to show you what a woman's healthy body is supposed to look like. Curvy, cushiony, soft and rounded...just lovely!

The mommy pouch, the extra skin that hangs over a bikini actually gets better over time. My youngest is 13 and the extra skin pouch is not as saggy as it was 5-10 years ago.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

minimalME said:


> I had a tummy tuck + tubal ligation after our last child was born. That was about 13 years ago, and I've never regretted it. The only part I wish I hadn't done was having my abdominal muscles sewn together.
> 
> Throughout my childbearing years, I affectionately called it my 'jabba the hut tummy', cause that's how it looked to me. It was loose skin that no amount of exercise was going to correct, and it ended up being about 3 pounds worth, I think.
> 
> ...


I wonder what it costs now? My wife has mentioned several times that she wants to have it done. I'm skeptical because I think that confidence comes from within and even with that surgery there will be something else that she's self conscious about.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I was able to pay for my mum have a tummy tuck a few years ago (she never felt she was worth the money and my dad was spent all the money that was ever saved on shiny things).
Totally worth it IMO her stomach totally crippled her confidence.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I wonder what it costs now? My wife has mentioned several times that she wants to have it done. I'm skeptical because I think that confidence comes from within and even with that surgery there will be something else that she's self conscious about.


I think it depends on the person.

I've not had any desire to change anything else about my body through surgery. But I've read a handful of stories about people who become 'addicted' and keep altering things about themselves.

I'm quite petite, and I do exercise, but while having children, I was usually in oversized clothes cause fitting items properly was an issue.

My ex-husband was always super nice and supportive about the way I looked. It was never a problem for him. I did it for me.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Saying women are supposed to be "rounded" is the same as saying that all women should be sticks. Different people = different bodies. And you can tell the difference between a thicker woman who is in shape vs. one who is just fat-- they are not the same.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I'm thinking maybe I'm misunderstanding what people are referring to. My wife doesn't have much of a belly. She has great curves and a mostly flat stomach. She's 5'6" 130lbs. Her issue is the loose skin that hangs down several inches from 3 c sections. Is that what you mean by mommy pouch? If that skin were removed her tummy would be quit flat. But because of it she's self conscious, won't wear a bikini. It doesn't bother me, except the way she hides herself. But she's getting better.


That's the battle I'm fighting. I donated a kidney and had a C-section a year later. No amount of situps or exercise will fix that.

Hub is in agreement for a tummy tuck, so that will be in the works at some point.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Anon1111 said:


> Saying women are supposed to be "rounded" is the same as saying that all women should be sticks. Different people = different bodies. And you can tell the difference between a thicker woman who is in shape vs. one who is just fat-- they are not the same.


No, it's not the same at all. Women are not supposed to look like men. Women are supposed to have higher fat content in order to support a pregnancy and nourish a baby with breast milk. Yes, different people different bodies, but talking in generalities, women are soft and rounded, men are hard and angular. 

Actually, no, you can't tell fit from fat outside of exaggerated proportions, you can't even tell fit from anorexic until the yoga class starts! This morning, a woman walking on pretzel stick legs couldn't even touch her toes while the rounded woman next to her laid her entire upper body flat against her legs!

I'm sorry if I touched a nerve with your wife, but maybe if she focused a little MORE on being a woman and a little less on being miss perfect your marriage would be a lot happier.


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

I went through a lot to give my H two beautiful children. He doesn't like my less than perfect stomach he can kiss it. I never say anything about the stretch marks left on his belly after he lost a bunch of weight. He was just plain old fat and didn't even grow a human inside.

I really think some men need to give their head a shake and get their eyes off the images portrayed by media of perfect female bodies. It's ridiculous.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

FemBot said:


> I went through a lot to give my H two beautiful children. He doesn't like my less than perfect stomach he can kiss it. I never say anything about the stretch marks left on his belly after he lost a bunch of weight. He was just plain old fat and didn't even grow a human inside.
> 
> I really think some men need to give their head a shake and get their eyes off the images portrayed by media of perfect female bodies. It's ridiculous.


You may not have noticed, but its mostly not the men complaining.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You may not have noticed, but its mostly not the men complaining.


Yeah, I agree with this. You wouldn't hear me complain about a pouch belly. I think women make a whole lot more out of this than men.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

The way it works for us is that because I feel uncomfortable with THIS part of my body, it does affect my confidence which then makes me feel a lot less desirable.

Hub knows that over time, this will impact our sex life because if I don't feel desirable, my drive for sex will diminish. 

He considers it to be money well spent to continue as is.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I wonder what it costs now? My wife has mentioned several times that she wants to have it done. I'm skeptical because I think that confidence comes from within and even with that surgery there will be something else that she's self conscious about.


I haven't had it done but someone I know, a friend on a fitness site, had hers done in Thailand (medical tourism) for about one third the cost of whatever it is in the US.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

I had my only chld at 37 via c/s. I had gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy, and had trouble losing it due to a thyroid condition that went undiagnosed for a few years. After I finally started treatment, I lost about 50 lbs, and have exercised, etc., but it isn't going away. I hate it. It doesn't help that I was replaced with a young very skinny woman. It always brings tears to my eyes when I see guys post that they love their wives' bellies because they know it's from having their kids. I honestly didn't know guys could feel that way. I never personally hear men talk about finding a 'round' woman sexy. Quite the opposite. There are men on TAM who point newly single men to websites that talk about not getting stuck 'fvcking fatties.' (I followed some of the links they've posted) These things make me scared to death to ever be with anyone again. Nobody else will have that 'loyalty' that it's because of having 'our' kids. I will never be able to afford surgery, and the paradox is the more weight I lose, the worse it will look. 

I understand that a lot of the men answering on here are talking about their own wives. I wonder how single men feel about see this on a woman they are considering dating or becoming intimate with.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> I had my only chld at 37 via c/s. I had gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy, and had trouble losing it due to a thyroid condition that went undiagnosed for a few years. After I finally started treatment, I lost about 50 lbs, and have exercised, etc., but it isn't going away. I hate it. It doesn't help that I was replaced with a young very skinny woman. It always brings tears to my eyes when I see guys post that they love their wives' bellies because they know it's from having their kids. I honestly didn't know guys could feel that way. I never personally hear men talk about finding a 'round' woman sexy. Quite the opposite. There are men on TAM who point newly single men to websites that talk about not getting stuck 'fvcking fatties.' (I followed some of the links they've posted) These things make me scared to death to ever be with anyone again. Nobody else will have that 'loyalty' that it's because of having 'our' kids. I will never be able to afford surgery, and the paradox is the more weight I lose, the worse it will look.
> 
> I understand that a lot of the men answering on here are talking about their own wives. I wonder how single men feel about see this on a woman they are considering dating or becoming intimate with.


You and I have very different definitions of "fatties." My wife is fat .... morbidly obese. Her pants are tents and that is not an exaggeration. She cannot wear normal clothes. She weighs more than 330lb. I do NOT find that attractive. Some men might but I don't. A pouch belly or an extra 50 lbs does not make you a fatty in my mind. While I do find fit women attractive, I also find the "mommy body" very sexy as well, maybe more so. If I was single, I would be attracted to either.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> I had my only chld at 37 via c/s. I had gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy, and had trouble losing it due to a thyroid condition that went undiagnosed for a few years. After I finally started treatment, I lost about 50 lbs, and have exercised, etc., but it isn't going away. I hate it. It doesn't help that I was replaced with a young very skinny woman. It always brings tears to my eyes when I see guys post that they love their wives' bellies because they know it's from having their kids. I honestly didn't know guys could feel that way. I never personally hear men talk about finding a 'round' woman sexy. Quite the opposite. There are men on TAM who point newly single men to websites that talk about not getting stuck 'fvcking fatties.' (I followed some of the links they've posted) These things make me scared to death to ever be with anyone again. Nobody else will have that 'loyalty' that it's because of having 'our' kids. I will never be able to afford surgery, and the paradox is the more weight I lose, the worse it will look.
> 
> I understand that a lot of the men answering on here are talking about their own wives. I wonder how single men feel about see this on a woman they are considering dating or becoming intimate with.


Angel my partner is not my kids dad. He has no issue at all with my mummy tummy, I was the one that was insecure when we first started dating but he assured me that it isn't an issue. He loves me deeply and just wants to see me naked :smthumbup:


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

My wife was pregnant when we got married at 16 & 17 so she has had a mommy-pouch for our entire 41 years of marriage, even in spite of the fact that she only weighs 113 lbs. Honestly, it has never bothered me. I think she is incredibly hot! Now she has a vertical scar that resulted from complications from a hysterectomy. I still think she is incredibly hot. Hollywood and the media gives us an unrealistic ideal of the perfect body. 

Do everything you can do by eating healthy and exercising, but beyond that try to accept the fact that your husband still finds you incredibly hot.


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

MN_Mommy said:


> *I am a young woman (early 30's), and have 3 beautiful children. My husband and I are very comfortable together sexually, and for the most part, I dont mind being naked around him. The only thing is, my stomach. After my first child, my stomach muscles were shot. I had stretch marks, and now I have extra skin. It is so ugly, and I hate it. I know surgery is the only way to get rid of it, and that isn't an option, but would this turn you off?
> I will catch my husband looking at me sometimes, and he never looks disgusted, but I know he is looking at my stomach, and he isn't turned on in the least bit. I consider myself a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. We have sex a lot, and its always great sex. BUT...I have noticed that ever since I had my first child, and my stomach looked this way...he wont touch me there. The lights always need to be turned off. I feel like I disgust him. olwhatsisname says, he loves you and he feels responsible for your appearance. can you wrap your head around that.
> 
> Guys or ladies...would this turn you off? Is it a deal breaker? *


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> No, it's not the same at all. Women are not supposed to look like men. Women are supposed to have higher fat content in order to support a pregnancy and nourish a baby with breast milk. Yes, different people different bodies, but talking in generalities, women are soft and rounded, men are hard and angular.
> 
> Actually, no, you can't tell fit from fat outside of exaggerated proportions, you can't even tell fit from anorexic until the yoga class starts! This morning, a woman walking on pretzel stick legs couldn't even touch her toes while the rounded woman next to her laid her entire upper body flat against her legs!
> 
> I'm sorry if I touched a nerve with your wife, but maybe if she focused a little MORE on being a woman and a little less on being miss perfect your marriage would be a lot happier.


All I know is that there are way more fat people in America than people who are in shape. A lot of people make excuses for why they are fat and act like people who are in shape are abnormal. Notice I did not say skinny-- I said in shape. You do not need to be a size 0 to be in shape (and yes, my wife is a size 0 since you are so interested), but fat is not appealing.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

My wife is beautiful to me.

She does not let me "see" her bad parts.

As a result, I am way less happy in our marriage than I could be.

Where is the logic in that?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

A few more thoughts to make the women on this thread even more self conscious 

The men on this thread have said they appreciate the pouch and accept it as part of the woman they love because they know and understand it's there because of the children their women bore for them. They have not said they find it objectively hot or sexy.

I think that women are far more critical of themselves with regards to this, and I also think that most guys really don't overly care one way or another. Sure it would be nice to have the old body with the flat stomach back, but we love our women as they are, pouch and all.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

My wife complained about her poochy belly when she weighed 92 pounds.....I always found it sweet and feminine....

Women always make way too much fuss about their body image....

Believe me, guys are not nearly so critical....Why do you think we like to see breasts, from less than A cup to double D and bigger? They are feminine, and we love them, size and shape are only the most minor of considerations....

If the sex is great, believe me, your husband is more than happy with you, belly and all.....relax and enjoy...

the woodchuck


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

angelpixie said:


> There are men on TAM who point newly single men to websites that talk about not getting stuck 'fvcking fatties.' (I followed some of the links they've posted) These things make me scared to death to ever be with anyone again. Nobody else will have that 'loyalty' that it's because of having 'our' kids. I will never be able to afford surgery, and the paradox is the more weight I lose, the worse it will look.


Excess skin is better than fat, hands down.



angelpixie said:


> I understand that a lot of the men answering on here are talking about their own wives. I wonder how single men feel about see this on a woman they are considering dating or becoming intimate with.


Well not being a single guy I can't completely answer that....

The key is not getting stuck with a shallow jerk. Yes, there are men out there that aren't shallow jerks.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Anon1111 said:


> All I know is that there are way more fat people in America than people who are in shape. A lot of people make excuses for why they are fat and act like people who are in shape are abnormal. Notice I did not say skinny-- I said in shape. You do not need to be a size 0 to be in shape (and yes, my wife is a size 0 since you are so interested), but fat is not appealing.


As obese as America is getting, just not being obese is going to give a woman or a man a leg up on more than half of the men or women out there.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> Excess skin is better than fat, hands down.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Why is it shallow to not be physically attracted to someone, or a specific body feature? Which is worse...admitting that you are not physically attracted to a certain body type, or faking it so you won't be labelled shallow?


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You may not have noticed, but its mostly not the men complaining.


Which is why I said "some men in this thread". Most of the women are complaining about feeling insecure.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

it builds charachter. being in love should mean your confident that your lover is attracted to you.

and accepts your flaws and you accepts his maybe even love them for their flaws as lovers we see them as atributes not flaws.


did that make sence at all?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Anon1111 said:


> All I know is that there are way more fat people in America than people who are in shape. A lot of people make excuses for why they are fat and act like people who are in shape are abnormal. Notice I did not say skinny-- I said in shape. You do not need to be a size 0 to be in shape (and yes, my wife is a size 0 since you are so interested), but fat is not appealing.


But we're not discussing fat people, we are discussing how a womans body changes after a couple of kids and especially after a c section. Weight has little to do with the *mommy pouch being discussed*. For a LOT of women, skin that has been stretched in pregnancy, then cut in surgery, doesn't ever bounce back. There are a few lucky women who go right back to flat belly and tight akin, but most women don't experience that. Related, but different.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Why is it shallow to not be physically attracted to someone, or a specific body feature? Which is worse...admitting that you are not physically attracted to a certain body type, or faking it so you won't be labelled shallow?


If you are specifically referring to the mommy pouch and wondering why it's shallow to loose attraction to your wife for having brought forth your child....!?

Because love is deeper than skin. Because when you are in love with someone and decide to marry and start a family, that is generally seen as a mark of MATURITY that shows your love can withstand the changes of time and traumatic event like pregnancy, and childbirth! It means that sexual attraction is linked with love. And that's a VITAL link to have because one day you will be waking up next to an 80 year old woman and if you can't see the woman you met, fell in love with, and married in that 80 year old woman laying next to you, then you deserve to be alone your entire life!

Ladies... Chime in ....


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> The men on this thread have said they appreciate the pouch and accept it as part of the woman they love because they know and understand it's there because of the children their women bore for them. *They have not said they find it objectively hot or sexy*.


Okay, I'll be the one that steps up to the plate to say I do find my wife's mommy pouch sexy. I didn't always feel that way, but have developed that "fetish" just over the last several years. I almost look at it as an extra naughty bit. I'd miss it if it were gone.

I guess that makes me weird, but it wouldn't be the first time I've been called that.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I can definitely say that while it doesn't 'bother' him, it's not on his list of sexy features!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

the sexy marsuipal club!

thats what I think everytime I read the title to this thread.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Just today, I saw a slideshow on Worst Celebrity Swimsuit Bodies -- from a supposedly womens' website. Most of the women they criticized had obviously pouchy tummies from having kids. And they specifically mentioned certain suits that 'moms' shouldn't wear. So that particular bit was definitely targeted. Thankfully, though, all of the comments were people going ballistic about this list. That gives me a little hope. 

And yes, there is a difference from body changes due to pregnancy, c-sections, surgeries, etc., and male middle-age spread, which was brought up in an earlier post.

I know this thread is in SiM, so I expect the responses to be from husbands speaking about their wives' tummies in response to the OP's question. But I wanted to thank those who responded to my question, as well. I guess it is a matter of just finding someone who can see past my tummy, or around it, or .... lol, and not necessarily find it attractive or sexy, but not let it be the thing that is a dealkiller, either. It's part of me, it's part of my history. I guess I shouldn't look at it any differently than someone rejecting me because I wear glasses. I can't help that, either.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

After having 3 kids, I have a "mommy-pouch" too. What's great about my husband is that he doesn't have crazy expectations about women's bodies. He realizes that my body is not going to be the rocking body it was when we started dating. About a year ago I mentioned that I would like to have a "mommy makeover", (breast lift and tummy tuck). His concern was complications during surgery and going under anesthesia and his fear of losing me for what is elective surgery. His question, "Why take the risk?"


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

badmemory said:


> Okay, I'll be the one that steps up to the plate to say I do find my wife's mommy pouch sexy. I didn't always feel that way, but have developed that "fetish" just over the last several years. I almost look at it as an extra naughty bit. I'd miss it if it were gone.
> 
> I guess that makes me weird, but it wouldn't be the first time I've been called that.


If you saw it on a woman who was NOT your wife, would you feel the same way? If you saw a complete stranger with the pooch belly hanging over the bikini bottom, would you think it looked sexy and hot? I know I wouldn't, but that's because I'm not in love with them. I see my STBW more than just objectively, and that is the difference.

That's part of where I am going with this. I love my STBW, and she has a bit of a pooch belly. Does it make her less attractive in my eyes? Hell no it doesn't! She rocks my world. I love all of her, and in my eyes, she is the most gorgeous woman to ever walk this planet and has absolutely nothing to be self conscious about at all. She has the whole package to me, belly and all. I suspect that most men feel exactly the same way about their women.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I've had 6 c-sections... that can really destroy a nice tight petite stomach....I have stayed thin over all these years...so this helps... but really, I feel like my stomach looks like an overly inflated rail road track.. does my husband care... not at all... 

I know he means it.. For a time I was throwing around the idea of a tummy tuck (cause I don't like it) ...he put his foot down and refused any idea of that.....telling me he loves my body as it is ... those are the "battle scars" of our children...and nothing is worth any amount of risk to my well being...


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> *If you saw it on a woman who was NOT your wife, would you feel the same way?* If you saw a complete stranger with the pooch belly hanging over the bikini bottom, would you think it looked sexy and hot? I know I wouldn't, but that's because I'm not in love with them. I see my STBW more than just objectively, and that is the difference.
> 
> That's part of where I am going with this. I love my STBW, and she has a bit of a pooch belly. Does it make her less attractive in my eyes? Hell no it doesn't! She rocks my world. I love all of her, and in my eyes, she is the most gorgeous woman to ever walk this planet and has absolutely nothing to be self conscious about at all. She has the whole package to me, belly and all. I suspect that most men feel exactly the same way about their women.


Depends on what the rest of their body looked like. Maybe.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> *If you saw it on a woman who was NOT your wife, would you feel the same way? If you saw a complete stranger with the pooch belly hanging over the bikini bottom, would you think it looked sexy and hot? * I know I wouldn't, but that's because I'm not in love with them. I see my STBW more than just objectively, and that is the difference.
> 
> That's part of where I am going with this. I love my STBW, and she has a bit of a pooch belly. Does it make her less attractive in my eyes? Hell no it doesn't! She rocks my world. I love all of her, and in my eyes, she is the most gorgeous woman to ever walk this planet and has absolutely nothing to be self conscious about at all. She has the whole package to me, belly and all. I suspect that most men feel exactly the same way about their women.


Funny you should say that. I was thinking about this thread earlier today. Stopped to fill up at the gas station and this very attractive woman, blonde, probably mid to late 30s, came out of the store and walked to her car parked close to mine. I don't normally stare but I might have this time ... if I have a type, she was it. She wasn't wearing anything revealing ... looked like she just threw something on to go to the store ... but sure enough her blouse was tight enough to notice that she probably has a pouch stomach. I wouldn't have looked if not for this discussion. I wouldn't have kicked her out of bed for eating crackers ... just sayin'


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