# I'm back



## Mr. Nail

I know you are all going to say, "why are you bothering us with this rant, you aren't really going to leave?" And I'm pretty sure you are right. It's been our anniversary this week and nothing has happened , nothing has been planned and nothing will be planned. Every night she comes home tells me how bad her life is and goes to sleep. Then she wakes up early demands massage and leaves. All I'm hearing is, Look at all of the excuses I have for ignoring your needs, now take care of me. I'm getting annoyed by her touch. Because it is an empty promise. I thought it meant, I love you, but I'm thinking it means I like to use you.

Like I said in the beginning I don't really expect any solutions. I just needed to say it.


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## brooklynAnn

Glad to know you are still here. Hope you enjoyed your summer. Sorry, things are still the same. Wishing you well.

Ann


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## citygirl4344

Sounds terrible really.
I haven't read your story but you sound like you are at the end of your rope.


Sent from my iPhone


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## Lostinthought61

Nail,

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein


I'm not sure if your waiting for her to have a Road to Damascus epiphany, but the odds are against you, and trust me i know.


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## SunCMars

Sit down.

Get prepared to get shot by a Nail Gun.

Is this another Nail in your Coffin? Or is it the last Nail tolerated?

If it is the last Nail then take your coffin to the Desert for your Just Dessert. Pull that nail and all the others [out] of that self Acquiesced Coffin and build a bonfire....toast some weenies and marshmallows over the flame. Those that you cannot devour, flip off to the lurking Coyotes.

I Nailed IT for you.....hers was the second to the last Spike pounded in.


Choice:

Accept YOUR Fate, as is...........which really is HER Fate..... SHE Dominates, you Falter........ in your conjoined [fate] melding.

FATE is uncontrollably directional but is subject to the Variable Winds of your mind....... 'mind' and 'your', are lower caps, and deliberate.

Whimper, swear, curse or Un-Nail your Individuality. The choice is partially yours. Energize Your Portion.

Yeppir!


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## Satya




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## john117

My 30th anniversary came and went unnoticed, as planned  I don't plan on a 31st.


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## Livvie

Let go, or be dragged....


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## 3Xnocharm

Welcome to the rest of your life. By YOUR choice.


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## Mr. Nail

Satya said:


>


Yep.


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## Mr. Nail

Mostly I just want you all to know that I am listening. Overall things are better than a year ago, and that was better than 2 years ago. We may be approaching he maximum contribution level. This week has just been tough, and I didn't need to be reminded that we skipped the anniversary.


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## brooklynAnn

Sorry. But there is only so much that you can do, as you know. I hope that you are going to keep doing the things that brings joy into your life and you don't blame too much of this on yourself.


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## SunCMars

Mr. Nail said:


> Mostly I just want you all to know that I am listening. Overall things are better than a year ago, and that was better than 2 years ago. * We* may be approaching the maximum contribution level. This week has just been tough, and I didn't need to be reminded that we skipped the anniversary.


That the anniversary was forgotten -and- using the English "WE" or the French "OUI" it translates to the same B-Pex. The A-pex has Risen.....come and gone.

You are on the downward arc-slide towards the Nadir.

In Sun Language that translates to No-Dear. 

For every thing there is a purpose.

And more often than not....tis' painful. Life's lessons must be mastered, lest they be refresher courses.

Actually, it is not Re-Fresh-Her, it's the repeat offenders mile-stone to attain.

That is you!


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## SunCMars

What is it you want?

What is your long term plan?


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## Mr. Nail

What I want is complicated. I'd like a more complete relationship with planned events that I can look forward to. I'd like a solid commitment to things that are more than an hour away. I get the feeling that commitments are giving her mini panic attacks.

What is my long term plan? Well in a recent thread about low drive or withholding or something, a man said that he was quite enjoying turning the tables by no longer desiring his LD wife. Now she has no power over him. I'm leaning towards that pretty good. I'm off the testosterone shots. Frustration is killing the remaining desire. A great deal of my trouble is living with someone I desire but who is un available most of the time. Removing the desire is as effective as increasing the availability.


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## farsidejunky

Except that you are cutting off your nose to spite your face.

What is more impotant? Punishing her for making herself unavailable, or leaving her behind for someone who actually loves you the way you want to be loved?


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## bandit.45

Satya said:


>


Maybe Mr. Nail should call himself Mobius.


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## bandit.45

I would make a plan and follow it through. 

My plan would be for her to come home one night to find my clothes and personal belongings gone, divorce petition on the counter, and my wedding ring on top of it.


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## 3Xnocharm

bandit.45 said:


> I would make a plan and follow it through.
> 
> My plan would be for her to come home one night to find my clothes and personal belongings gone, divorce petition on the counter, and my wedding ring on top of it.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## Mr. Nail

bandit.45 said:


> Maybe Mr. Nail should call himself Mobius.


that's Jörmungandr, I'm pretty sure.

As to the plan. I'm content with my current plan even though it is somewhat Passive Aggressive. I really don't want to start a new relationship. If singleness is in my future, I'm OK with that.


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## MrsHolland

Wow sorry to read this.

Life is short man and you always sound like you have a lust for life, hiking etc. Been where you have and it is a hard place to be but there is life after divorce whether single or with a new partner. Wishing you strength and happiness in the future.


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## PieceOfSky

3Xnocharm said:


> Welcome to the rest of your life. By YOUR choice.


You are right, and it's always good to point out choices any of us here make that keep oneself tied to misery. The clarity is valuable and necessary.

But, too often, folks stay in situations hard to justify (no idea Mr. Nail about your situation). Even when intellectually deciding it's time to leave, or way past time, folks stay. (I resemble that remark.)

I've been wondering why that happens, and what one can do to make change more likely to happen.

My hunch is there is something more powerful and hidden than simple fear, or a general lack of willpower or ability to take sustained action. I recently came across a book that I'm finding quite relevant and interesting. I'll post a quote here:


"The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships" by Patrick Carnes Ph.D. ...

"Here are signs that trauma bonds exist in your life: when you obsess about people who have hurt you and they are long gone (obsess means to be preoccupied, fantasize about and wonder about even though you do not want to) when you continue to seek contact with people whom you know will cause you further pain when you go ?overboard? to help people who have been destructive to you when you continue being a ?team? member when obviously things are becoming destructive when you continue attempts to get people who are clearly using you to like you when you again and again trust people who have proved to be unreliable when you are unable to distance yourself from unhealthy relationships when you want to be understood by those who clearly do not care when you choose to stay in conflict with others when it would cost you nothing to walk away when you persist in trying to convince people that there is a problem and they are not willing to listen when you are loyal to people who have betrayed you when you are attracted to untrustworthy people when you keep damaging secrets about exploitation or abuse when you continue contact with an abuser who acknowledges no responsibility"


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## 3Xnocharm

PieceOfSky said:


> You are right, and it's always good to point out choices any of us here make that keep oneself tied to misery. The clarity is valuable and necessary.
> 
> But, too often, folks stay in situations hard to justify (no idea Mr. Nail about your situation). Even when intellectually deciding it's time to leave, or way past time, folks stay. (I resemble that remark.)
> 
> I've been wondering why that happens, and what one can do to make change more likely to happen.
> 
> My hunch is there is something more powerful and hidden than simple fear, or a general lack of willpower or ability to take sustained action. I recently came across a book that I'm finding quite relevant and interesting. I'll post a quote here:
> 
> 
> "The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships" by Patrick Carnes Ph.D. ...
> 
> "Here are signs that trauma bonds exist in your life: when you obsess about people who have hurt you and they are long gone (obsess means to be preoccupied, fantasize about and wonder about even though you do not want to) when you continue to seek contact with people whom you know will cause you further pain when you go ?overboard? to help people who have been destructive to you when you continue being a ?team? member when obviously things are becoming destructive when you continue attempts to get people who are clearly using you to like you when you again and again trust people who have proved to be unreliable when you are unable to distance yourself from unhealthy relationships when you want to be understood by those who clearly do not care when you choose to stay in conflict with others when it would cost you nothing to walk away when you persist in trying to convince people that there is a problem and they are not willing to listen when you are loyal to people who have betrayed you when you are attracted to untrustworthy people when you keep damaging secrets about exploitation or abuse when you continue contact with an abuser who acknowledges no responsibility"


Sky, did YOU finally get out of YOUR unhappy situation?


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## Mr. Nail

MrsHolland said:


> Life is *short man* .


QFT emphasis added


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## MrsHolland

Mr. Nail said:


> QFT emphasis added


OK I'm hoping this was supposed to be funny from your side? Honestly, from mine it had NO implied message, it did not cross my mind.

Regardless of past disagreements there is no way I would wish this unhappiness on anyone. And I mean it, you sound like a man that has a lot to offer. I truly do wish you strength and happiness.

Hey my first husband is a short guy, I kind of dig the short men :smile2:


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## Mr. Nail

yes it was a funny, But as with all humor it is based on a bit of truth. it is certainly a factor in the decision


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## Ynot

Mr. Nail said:


> yes it was a funny, But as with all humor it is based on a bit of truth. it is certainly a factor in the decision


What decision is that? Your decision to not make a decision?
I have read your woe is me posts for a while. I am telling you that once you break the bond as others have suggested you do your life will get so much better. Killing your desires to satisfy someone who could care less anyways is insane. Don't be insane! Do what people, all people men and women alike are supposed to do - look out for yourself, take care of your own best interests. Isn't that exactly what your wife is doing?
I don't mean to come off harsh - but I lived thru what you are going thru. A little more less than two years and one week ago my ex did me the biggest favor ever - she left me. The reason she left me was because I had given up. I had nothing left to give her. I had tried to be what and who she wanted me to be, but I couldn't. No more so than she could be who I wanted her to be. In some ways I actually admire my ex for doing something I should have been man enough to do myself. 
I plunged into despair and depression, but today I own my own house, I have more money than I have ever had at any point in my life, my business is booming, I have multiple interests and hobbies that I never dreamt of two years ago, I am free to come and go and travel and see and do whatever I want. I can go out and meet many amazing men and women that I never would have had the chance to do before.
Pick yourself up and take control of your life before it really is too late!


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## MrsHolland

Mr. Nail said:


> yes it was a funny, But as with all humor it is based on a bit of truth. it is certainly a factor in the decision


Are you saying that you would stay in an unhappy marriage partly due to physical concerns? Please don't do that.

Look when I eventually had the nerve to call it quits I had put on weight and completely hated myself. The end stages of the marriage had caused health issues and hair loss. But I ended the marriage for me, not because I wanted to find another man, that was the last thought. 

This is your life, don't let self imposed limitations cause fear.

My step dad had a saying "fix it or f.uck it off" crass but true. If this marriage is not fixable then claim back the rest of your life, my bet is that you will find happiness on the other side.

And don't buy all the silly banter here about what women do and don't want. In the end there will always be women that seek out good, decent men. men that enjoy life and you are one of those.


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## Ynot

farsidejunky said:


> Except that you are cutting off your nose to spite your face.
> 
> What is more impotant? Punishing her for making herself unavailable, or leaving her behind for someone who actually loves you the way you want to be loved?


You mean more like rewarding her for making herself unavailable.


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## CatJayBird

*sigh*


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## Mr. Nail

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm clearly getting the impression women in your own country aren't interested in you at all, so you've had to 'expand' your borders internationally. *I'm also assuming you're extremely short* and/or you look like a bridge troll. Most (not all) but most guys that have to go overseas to do their 'mate shopping' usually do look like that. :laugh:
> 
> LOL. Yup, bridge trolls can find themselves young wives internationally - all you have to do is flash a little cash and she's all *yours*. Very easy to do - nothing to brag about there. Now, getting a beautiful young lady in your OWN country, well, *that* would be a feat - and an impossibility. LOL.



Bada Bing! Bada Boom!


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## Blondilocks

For heaven's sake! You need a beat down by Personal. One of the finest men I ever knew was shorter than myself and I stand 5'5". His wife was 5'9".


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## Mr. Nail

Hell no, I'm taking my camera out to the bridge this week for a new avatar picture. I wonder if the Mods will let me change my Name to BridgeTroll. The exception proves the Rule.


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## Mr. Nail

What the Heck! I think everyone should have their own thread so that when they read something disturbing, or incomprehensible, they can come here and rant without damaging the thread and OP who has serious problems. So once again I'm ranting with no expectation or response or repair. 

On and off over our 30 year relationship my wife has indulged in cheap and tawdry romance novels. These depictions of sex and emotional fulfillment have intruded into our relationship in many ways more than just the time they have robbed from us. She has actually handed me a page from one and and told me that that was the way I should be kissing. She informed me that she could not generate sexual desire without using these tales to prime the pump. She has used them in such volume that there were enough around the house for me to pack into a box 18 inches deep to test bullet penetration. 

How is this any different than Porn? How is it any less damaging to the relationship? 

Whatever, it doesn't matter any more. Refusing to initiate is going well. I'm pretty sure she hasn't noticed. Desire is dropping off nicely, getting to the point where I only think of it on the weekend when we have time together. Bridge troll project is still in the planning stage. I either need to get someone to take the picture or buy a tripod.


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## bandit.45

Mr. Nail said:


> On and off over our 30 year relationship my wife has indulged in cheap and tawdry romance novels. These depictions of sex and emotional fulfillment have intruded into our relationship in many ways more than just the time they have robbed from us. She has actually handed me a page from one and and told me that that was the way I should be kissing. She informed me that she could not generate sexual desire without using these tales to prime the pump. She has used them in such volume that there were enough around the house for me to pack into a box 18 inches deep to test bullet penetration.


Puffy shirt. You need a puffy shirt.


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## Mr. Nail

looks better than the "beat down"


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## NotEasy

Mr. Nail said:


> What the Heck! I think everyone should have their own thread so that when they read something disturbing, or incomprehensible, they can come here and rant without damaging the thread and OP who has serious problems. So once again I'm ranting with no expectation or response or repair.
> 
> On and off over our 30 year relationship my wife has indulged in cheap and tawdry romance novels. These depictions of sex and emotional fulfillment have intruded into our relationship in many ways more than just the time they have robbed from us. She has actually handed me a page from one and and told me that that was the way I should be kissing. She informed me that she could not generate sexual desire without using these tales to prime the pump. She has used them in such volume that there were enough around the house for me to pack into a box 18 inches deep to test bullet penetration.
> 
> How is this any different than Porn? How is it any less damaging to the relationship?
> 
> Whatever, it doesn't matter any more. Refusing to initiate is going well. I'm pretty sure she hasn't noticed. Desire is dropping off nicely, getting to the point where I only think of it on the weekend when we have time together. Bridge troll project is still in the planning stage. I either need to get someone to take the picture or buy a tripod.


Yes, romance novels seem like porn to me too, even the 'priming the pump' justtification. But I haven't read any.

But never having read any wont stop me assuming I know what they are like. Did you read the page about kissing? I assume it was more about the heroine melting into the kiss, ie her reaction not the mechanics of the kiss. And your wife is the one to change that. But what do I know, I haven't read them.


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## Mr. Nail

Yes I read the page. Failed to get what I was supposed to learn. Had to be told, "I want you to do that". It was essentially showing someone a tricky position in porn and saying I'd like to try that. Now if any of us men were to do that to a female partner we would have trouble walking for a week. 

I really haven't got to the bottom of my feelings on this. At first I was annoyed at the vitriol poured out on the man for using another source to "prime the pump" when it was totally accepted by my very conservative female spouse if she was doing essentially the same thing. And, I really don't recall being heart broken, or horrified by it. I do remember feeling inadequate and insecure. Now, she reads whatever she wants. We share a kindle account so I see every purchase. The world is full of double standards it's no breaking news story.


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## Mr. Nail

> A woman is not like a man. A man can often compartmentalize the sex from the emotion, a woman cannot.


So it is much much worse than I thought????

I'm completely blown out of the water now. I may have to take a week off or something. I went down the wrong rabbit hole.

It's going to be a long weekend. Maybe I better go camping.


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## bandit.45

Mr. Nail said:


> So it is much much worse than I thought????
> 
> I'm completely blown out of the water now. I may have to take a week off or something. I went down the wrong rabbit hole.
> 
> It's going to be a long weekend. Maybe I better go camping.


I don't think that is a cut-and-dry rule. What about women who are into swinging, or porn actresses who are married? Some women can do it, but they are a minority. 

Nail you cannot compete with the fantasy in her head. That is what she is telling you.


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## Mr. Nail

Yes but can I get past the stupid idea I put into my mind. Obviously the quote I quoted is not true. The poster quoted was just trying to maximize guilt. I saw this today.








I just need to get my head back in the game.


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## turnera

Mr. Nail said:


> On and off over our 30 year relationship my wife has indulged in cheap and tawdry romance novels. These depictions of sex and emotional fulfillment have intruded into our relationship in many ways more than just the time they have robbed from us. She has actually handed me a page from one and and told me that that was the way I should be kissing. She informed me that she could not generate sexual desire without using these tales to prime the pump. She has used them in such volume that there were enough around the house for me to pack into a box 18 inches deep to test bullet penetration.
> 
> How is this any different than Porn? How is it any less damaging to the relationship?
> 
> Whatever, it doesn't matter any more. Refusing to initiate is going well. I'm pretty sure she hasn't noticed. Desire is dropping off nicely, getting to the point where I only think of it on the weekend when we have time together. Bridge troll project is still in the planning stage. I either need to get someone to take the picture or buy a tripod.


*shrug* I keep a Western novel in my bedside table with dog-eared pages that I read when I want to get myself turned on and ready for my H. 

But no, not to her extreme. That said, I used to work in a bookstore and the biggest part of my week was Thursday mornings, when the boxes of that week's romance novels would come in, and I'd rush to put them on the shelves for the line of middle-aged ladies who were waiting for the store to open so they could rush in and buy every book that came in. Half the time I wouldn't get done, and they'd just dig through the boxes to pick them out and get in line to pay.


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## Cowboy2

Mr. Nail said:


> What I want is complicated. I'd like a more complete relationship with planned events that I can look forward to.  I'd like a solid commitment to things that are more than an hour away. I get the feeling that commitments are giving her mini panic attacks.
> 
> What is my long term plan? Well in a recent thread about low drive or withholding or something, a man said that he was quite enjoying turning the tables by no longer desiring his LD wife. Now she has no power over him. I'm leaning towards that pretty good. I'm off the testosterone shots. Frustration is killing the remaining desire. A great deal of my trouble is living with someone I desire but who is un available most of the time. Removing the desire is as effective as increasing the availability.


This makes me sad. 

What you put up with you end up with.


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## Satya

(Sorry if this is too lighthearted for here... just ask me to remove if necessary...)

Sure, it might be considered a kind of ladies' porn. Not my cup of tea personally, but for all you know, she's imaging the story as though it were real life! It's what I'd do.
I can't really get turned on by overly buff guys. I know, I know, it's a fatal flaw with my biological makeup, but it's the truth. I'd need to replace Fabio with "Dadbodio."











































(Mods, hopefully these aren't too risque... particularly the naughty *el Hombre de mis Sueños!*)


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## jb02157

I know what you mean, I have to deal with the same thing everyday. Wife constantly says "Oh, things suck so bad ...everything we have is so f'ed up and not new...our vacations aren't that nice ...when can we finally spend some money" Do I feel used? You betcha. It's not that we're poor just not millionaires like her cousin's husband. There's no way you win in this situation.


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## bandit.45

Satya those are damn funny right there!


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## Mr. Nail

I have to say I am very glad that she has never been turned on by billionaire romance. As for DadBodio, well those guys could use some chest rugs.


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## Blondilocks

"(Mods, hopefully these aren't too risque... particularly the naughty el Hombre de mis Sueños!)"

My Spanish is a little rusty. Does this come in an English version? lol
@turnera, the customers digging through the boxes is a hoot! You could have just thrown open the doors and hollered "Sooey".


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## Satya

Blondilocks said:


> "(Mods, hopefully these aren't too risque... particularly the naughty el Hombre de mis Sueños!)"
> 
> My Spanish is a little rusty. Does this come in an English version? lol
> 
> @turnera, the customers digging through the boxes is a hoot! You could have just thrown open the doors and hollered "Sooey".


"The man of my dreams."

LOL


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## JohnA

Mr. Nail, why did you come off the T shots. Where there side effects other than your spouse still not being able to become intimate? 

By the way I've read the majority of people who bought 50 shades or gray where middle age woman with children. Does not mean they wanted that type of relationship. (I bet their husband's who didn't read the book, pushed to see the movie!!!)


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## Mr. Nail

@JohnA ,
The answer to your question is I was too busy fighting to save my Foot and decided to concentrate my efforts there instead of fiddling with an extra shot every week. 
Honestly, why be more muscular for someone who doesn't believe that sex makes you happy. I have better things to do with the money and I don't miss the pain.

You may be misunderstanding my Spouse. She can be intimate anytime she Desires. She doesn't Desire.


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## PieceOfSky

Cowboy2 said:


> This makes me sad.
> 
> What you put up with you end up with.


Seeing the other more realistically and detaching can help one move along the path to a more fulfilling life, with or without the other. 

I suppose where it leads depends on what one focuses his or her energy and time. Focusing on the other will keep one stuck. 

Just heard a quote... Will need to look for and most a more accurate version and its source, but it went something like this: 

_The only good cure for loneliness is solitude.​__Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr. Nail

I've noticed a disturbing trend. A thread starts at one question. Wanders through several hot subjects. The three women declare that Rape is the crime that all men commit against all women. Then the thread is closed.

So to save time and effort Here are your three declarations so you can close this thread.
Rape is the crime that all men commit against all women.
Rape is the crime that all men commit against all women.
Rape is the crime that all men commit against all women.
MN


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## farsidejunky

Do you actually want the thread closed?

I will honor your request if so.


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## phillybeffandswiss

I'm glad you bumped this thread, I now understand some of your reactions in other threads.


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## ConanHub

Mr. Nail said:


> I know you are all going to say, "why are you bothering us with this rant, you aren't really going to leave?" And I'm pretty sure you are right. It's been our anniversary this week and nothing has happened , nothing has been planned and nothing will be planned. Every night she comes home tells me how bad her life is and goes to sleep. Then she wakes up early demands massage and leaves. All I'm hearing is, Look at all of the excuses I have for ignoring your needs, now take care of me.  I'm getting annoyed by her touch. Because it is an empty promise. I thought it meant, I love you, but I'm thinking it means I like to use you.
> 
> Like I said in the beginning I don't really expect any solutions. I just needed to say it.


Grab her, spank her and take her.

Or at least tell her you are going to. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr. Nail

farsidejunky said:


> Do you actually want the thread closed?
> 
> I will honor your request if so.


No not really, I'd just have to open another place to rant at.


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## turnera

Mr. Nail said:


> I've noticed a disturbing trend. A thread starts at one question. Wanders through several hot subjects. The three women declare that Rape is the crime that all men commit against all women. Then the thread is closed.
> 
> So to save time and effort Here are your three declarations so you can close this thread.
> Rape is the crime that all men commit against all women.
> Rape is the crime that all men commit against all women.
> Rape is the crime that all men commit against all women.
> MN


Oh please.


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## Mr. Nail

minimizing, dismissal, denial, 
Same old , same old.


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## TheTruthHurts

Just stumbled upon your thread. 

I have a story that might amuse you. While trying to ignite some passion in my 30+ year relationship, I decided to take a lot of advice to heart about women, and got some romance novels from the library - dog eared copies pawed over by breathless women who ignore tortured husbands like you no doubt - for a recommended donation of $1 each.

I had researched this - read women's recommendations on the internet to choose a particularly lusty and satisfying author.

Imagine a sweet, innocent, nice catholic girl W who occasionally indulged her lecherous H on his quest for non-missionary sex.

She is down with the plan. We'll read a bit of this steamy novel, though she would never consider it herself.

I read. And I read. And I read. OMG what a drama-filled, completely unrealistic scenario about a helpless female and troubled, rough, hard-to-reach man.

FINALLY I get to the sex. An BOY is it explicit. Guys porn ain't got nothin' on this!

Only it isn't the hero and heroine having sex. It's the brother. And his wife. AND HIS COUSIN. W is being DP'd in the entrance by H and H's cousin in the exit.

Brrrrrahahaah

Yeah. Not quite the buildup and erotica W signed up for. (We don't live in a trailer park).

WTF.

I thought guys were the nasty ones.

Hope you enjoyed that. I did but didn't achieve what I set out to 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## turnera

I've said it before. If you want heart pounding sex in a book, read a Western.


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## Mr. Nail

I read Last of the Breed by Louis L'Amour. Apparently the author ran out of paper about 2 chapters before he ran out of story.


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## bandit.45

So Nail... I have to give you kudos for getting your ass kicked by everyone here and sticking around. 

So what are you going to do with your wife now?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr. Nail

bandit.45 said:


> So Nail... I have to give you kudos for getting your ass kicked by everyone here and sticking around.
> 
> So what are you going to do with your wife now?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My thought this week was that while I do love her, we are not sexually compatible. I even thought of bringing up Divorce with that infamous line. 

We had a discussion about sex. These usually take 24 hours. It just takes me that long to figure out what she is trying to communicate to me. I have to pry it out of her one guess at a time. Then I think about it, then try to confirm if I got it right, then make the next guess. 

I think I'm supposed to surprise her with a present. I'm pretty sure the one Conan suggested wouldn't go over well. Maybe for my birthday to celebrate a year of waiting.

MN


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## Blondilocks

Good Lord! I had a sister-in-law who would only have sex with her husband on his birthday. That was his present. lol The thing was she was so damn fat he didn't want his present.


----------



## turnera

Mr. Nail said:


> I read Last of the Breed by Louis L'Amour. Apparently the author ran out of paper about 2 chapters before he ran out of story.


lol, I didn't say to read it for the story. I said to read it for the sex. I have the TWO pages in a whole book turned down on the corners, and it sits in my bed table, and if I want to get in the mood, I get it out, turn to those two pages, and I'm ready to go.


----------



## Mr. Nail

I just thought she might actually be surprised if I gave her a present on my birthday. 
That story does remind me of an old joke though. What did you get for Christmas this year? Same thing as every year, Sex and a Sweater . . . both too big.
Turnera, don't pick up Last of the Breed. It's about a guy stranded alone in Siberia. Kind of hard to work a romance into that one.


----------



## Mr. Nail

Apparently I still got it wrong. She doesn't want a present and is mad that I thought she did? it's only monday and I'm already thinking WTF. what we have here is failure to communicate.

There is this thread here where one spouse is sure that the relationship cannot heal if the other spouse does not complete the worksheets from HNHN. My spouse refused to even look at them. I guess it's hopeless. There is another thread where the relationship has been affectionless for 2 years and the members are telling him he can't leave even though he is thoroughly disconnected. Because she is now sick. He would be breaking a contract that she broke years ago. Unbelievable. Where do I stand? She won't or can't communicate. She thinks and acts as if everything is A_OK And twice a week I'm agonizing over living where I don't fit. It's about like walking around in pants that are 4 sizes too small. 

I still have sexual appetite, but I'm ::Bleep:::exploitative::: tired of only my way only on my schedule. and absolutely no idea how to :::expletive::: predict her schedule. 

I'm sorry feminists I may need Continuous Affirmative Consent to proceed with a relationship, but No one needs any consent to leave one!


----------



## 3Xnocharm

Mr. Nail said:


> Apparently I still got it wrong. She doesn't want a present and is mad that I thought she did? it's only monday and I'm already thinking WTF. what we have here is failure to communicate.
> 
> There is this thread here where one spouse is sure that the relationship cannot heal if the other spouse does not complete the worksheets from HNHN. My spouse refused to even look at them. I guess it's hopeless. There is another thread where the relationship has been affectionless for 2 years and the members are telling him he can't leave even though he is thoroughly disconnected. Because she is now sick. He would be breaking a contract that she broke years ago. Unbelievable. *Where do I stand? She won't or can't communicate. She thinks and acts as if everything is A_OK And twice a week I'm agonizing over living where I don't fit. * It's about like walking around in pants that are 4 sizes too small.
> 
> I still have sexual appetite, but I'm ::Bleep:::exploitative::: tired of only my way only on my schedule. and absolutely no idea how to :::expletive::: predict her schedule.
> 
> I'm sorry feminists I may need Continuous Affirmative Consent to proceed with a relationship, but No one needs any consent to leave one!


MrNail, Im pretty sure most of us have been encouraging you to go ahead and end the marriage throughout your posts. It hasn't been a real marriage for quite some time. 

And no, you do not need consent from ANYONE to leave a relationship. YOU are the only one keeping yourself in this.


----------



## TheTruthHurts

turnera said:


> lol, I didn't say to read it for the story. I said to read it for the sex. I have the TWO pages in a whole book turned down on the corners, and it sits in my bed table, and if I want to get in the mood, I get it out, turn to those two pages, and I'm ready to go.




What book and what pages. Seriously. I'd like to give that a whirl with the W


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## lancaster

Mr. Nail said:


> I know you are all going to say, "why are you bothering us with this rant, you aren't really going to leave?" And I'm pretty sure you are right. It's been our anniversary this week and nothing has happened , nothing has been planned and nothing will be planned. Every night she comes home tells me how bad her life is and goes to sleep. Then she wakes up early demands massage and leaves. All I'm hearing is, Look at all of the excuses I have for ignoring your needs, now take care of me. I'm getting annoyed by her touch. Because it is an empty promise. I thought it meant, I love you, but I'm thinking it means I like to use you.
> 
> Like I said in the beginning I don't really expect any solutions. I just needed to say it.


I am basically in the same boat as you. So at least we are not alone


----------



## Mr. Nail

> Screw the composure. I think EVERY cheater deserves to be totally freaked OUT on by the BS when the BS first finds out. Yelling, throwing sh!t, the whole shebang. Kick them out of the house. Being all calm towards them isn't letting them know how SUPERBLY they just fvcked up.


I fear this. Not that there is another person in my life. But, I'm not really honest with her about my intentions. She would be quite right to feel betrayed when the announcement comes. There may be screaming, throwing, crying, pleading, and whatever. How will I react to all of that?


----------



## 3Xnocharm

Mr. Nail said:


> I fear this. Not that there is another person in my life. But, I'm not really honest with her about my intentions. She would be quite right to feel betrayed when the announcement comes. There may be screaming, throwing, crying, pleading, and whatever. How will I react to all of that?


Who the hell cares if she throws a hissy fit? Really? You turn to stone, and stick to your resolve. If she turns violent, you call the cops. Done.


----------



## sokillme

Blondilocks said:


> Good Lord! I had a sister-in-law who would only have sex with her husband on his birthday. That was his present. lol The thing was she was so damn fat he didn't want his present.


:rofl: Too much...


----------



## Mr. Nail

Weird things happening this week. I don't know how to feel about it. 
She has been initiating contact. Serious kisses in the morning. She is still grumpy (tired) at night. More hints and advances. In short just what I've been wanting so badly.

I have been out camping every other week. I've been so detached that I just say whatever's on my mind and damn the consequences. The other day I told her things were not nearly as good as she thinks they are. I can't recall if that was before or after I told her I was "that" close to taking off to a neighboring state at the end of the work day. I told her I was planning my own getaway for my birthday. She said she would cancel plans i order to go with me. Then She thought I was spending too much.

Anyway the first time she gave me a serious kiss on the way out the door it upset me. The second day, I liked it but still don't trust it. I suppose I'll always just be wondering when it will all stop again.

Edit Follow up : stopped already


----------



## Mr. Nail

I just discovered that my 30th anniversary is on the day after the total solar eclipse. Ominous.


----------



## Mr. Nail

By the way this doesn't work as advertised.








But, I did have to get up and find earplugs last night.


----------



## TheTruthHurts

Mr. Nail said:


> By the way this doesn't work as advertised.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> But, I did have to get up and find earplugs last night.




Are you sleeping like a baby all night - screaming and carrying on? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Mr. Nail

no this time it wasn't me, Mrs. Nail was coughing.


----------



## Mr. Nail

Day 12. if I make it through this weekend, I'll likely be done for the month.


----------



## 3Xnocharm

Meaning....???


----------



## Mr. Nail

Sorry, I'm going back a page or two. 12 Days no sex. Very little physical affection. She usually tries for a weekend morning so If I line up some morning activity, I'll get through the weekend. I have a meeting Thursday night, and Friday night. I can go to work early Friday morning. Shooting or gun cleaning Saturday morning.  Thinking of not coming home tonight. Next week is the USA harvest holiday and family holiday with football. The week after that is my birthday getaway. No word on if she got the day off. Don't really care.

I've just read that a spouse that withdraws emotionally has no blame, so I'm all good.


----------



## 3Xnocharm

How about you just finally divorce and stop playing all these ridiculous games?


----------



## Mr. Nail

Good question, but the time is not yet right. And she is more than willing to give me time.


----------



## Mr. Nail

I'm just sitting in my desk feeling the tears slide down the side of my nose.


----------



## farsidejunky

Acceptance is often painful, brother.

However, it is absolutely necessary to make sound decisions.

Sorry you are having a lousy day.


----------



## Mr. Nail

Made it from thanksgiving to Fathers day. But it's back on again.


----------



## turnera

Great! So you're finally moving on?


----------



## Mr. Nail

I'm not sure what moving on means. Thanks for engaging on this frustrating thread. I'm having trouble expressing the facts of this event clearly. 

I haven't Filed for divorce.
I haven't moved out.
I have refused to continue to have sexual interactions.
I have not offered any conditions for a return to normal relations.


----------



## 3Xnocharm

So you're still in the same place you have been this whole time... or is the sex refusal new? Are you ready to take action, or are you just going to wallow?


----------



## Mr. Nail

The refusal is an escalation. Last year I took steps to lower my desire level. When participation in the relationship improved, I stopped that and even started a new medication to even me out. This time I stated that Sex is off the Table. I'm trying to explain that that also includes touching erogenous areas, deep kissing, and being naked in each others presence. I'm tired of being teased.


----------



## TheTruthHurts

Mr. Nail said:


> The refusal is an escalation. Last year I took steps to lower my desire level. When participation in the relationship improved, I stopped that and even started a new medication to even me out. This time I stated that Sex is off the Table. I'm trying to explain that that also includes touching erogenous areas, deep kissing, and being naked in each others presence. I'm tired of being teased.




So is she cool with that? Is that her goal as well?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Mr. Nail

I don't have a clue. She attempted a return to normal relations and was not happy to be shut down. But I've always suspected that sex actually means nothing to her. I think sh has initiated 2 (now 3) times this year. Honestly she has to be considering if this isn't really what she wants. I think a lot of it to both of us is power. Unfortunately we are like a pair of 2 year olds whose only way of enforcing our will is to say NO!


----------



## turnera

I misunderstood what you were saying. Sorry.


----------



## Mr. Nail

Mr. Nail said:


> If it is the Wife who has lost the attraction, why the hell should it be up to the HUSBAND to solve the problem???


I think I need an answer to that. I'm pretty sure there is no Sexual attraction there. She says there is attraction, but Can't explain what kind of attraction. I don't get it, I don't understand it. How can you be attracted to someone and not want to touch them? We are going days without touching.

I'm pretty sure that this problem is going to take Dual participation to resolve. Here are my proposals for action.

If a partner has lost sexual attraction for the other, they should initiate separation, before looking elsewhere for sex.
If there is a resentment, then they need to ask for the problem to be stopped.
If there is an unmet need, it needs to be communicated. 
To stay together both parties have to want it enough to work on it. 

I need a commitment.

Or I'm just insecure and making this up. Either way we are down to once a week, about 3 out of every 4 weeks. I'm not interested this week. And it's not because I'm trying. It's because I'm attracted to people who are interested in me.


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## Openminded

Down to once a week? For some time you weren't having sex with her at all, right? So this is an improvement over what you posted before? She's obviously not interested in sex on your schedule and so what you are back to getting is all she feels she can manage. Either that works for you or it doesn't but she's unlikely to change. And that's what you need to come to terms with -- and make a decision about.


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## Mr. Nail

Actually the schedule is not what I have to come to terms with. I don't give a Rat's ass when she wants to have sex. Why should I? It's not like she wants me.

What I am trying to come to terms with is why the heck am I putting up with this? Why did it take me so long to see this? And how can she say she is attracted to me but doesn't want me to touch her? 

What I am not going to do is the pick me dance. I'm not going to run around changing this and adding that, when she has no idea what the **** it is she wants. If she can muster enough give-a-**** to think about what she needs. Then pluck up the courage to say it, then I'll make changes. But the i don't know answer is leaving me dancing, and I've got 2 left feet.


----------



## Openminded

She tells you that she's attracted to you because she obviously doesn't want a divorce and she apparently thinks you'll leave if she says she's not. Sometimes women are never attracted to their spouse to begin with but may hope with time that they'll become attracted OR they may lose attraction along the way -- for various reasons -- and can't get it back but yet don't want a divorce. You want her to tell you the truth. She may not be really sure what the truth is. And even if she is sure that doesn't mean she's willing to tell you. She'll probably throw sex at you if you tell her you're leaving. But it's unlikely to last. 

As to why you stay, well, only you know that. Plenty of men do (some don't). You have to decide which group you're in.


----------



## 3Xnocharm

Mr. Nail said:


> What I am trying to come to terms with is why the heck am I putting up with this? Why did it take me so long to see this?


Ah, THAT is the million dollar question, and has been all along. Do you really want to spend the next 20 years of your life in this limbo?


----------



## PieceOfSky

Mr. Nail said:


> ...It's not like she wants me.
> 
> What I am trying to come to terms with is *why the heck am I putting up with this*? Why did it take me so long to see this? And how can she say she is attracted to me but doesn't want me to touch her?


Speaking solely of my own situation, which may or may not be relevant...

In my case, there are a handful of answers to the why that have crossed my mind. Some of those reflect otherwise healthy qualities (grit, problem solving) and others my deepest weaknesses (fear of not being lovable or attractive enough, a penchant for tilting at windmills). There were years in the middle where I think I was on autopilot driven to satisfy my needs, my hunger for acceptance as a worthy man and human being, through her behavior towards me, especially her affection. And there was negativity towards me, and that can be a powerful force keeping one in orbit. 

Turns out seeking what I needed through another doesn't work. Can't work. And at the end of the day my wife is far from a reliable assessor of my worth, as a man, as a partner, as a co-parent. She is enmeshed in her own hidden agendas and quests. I think the answers to many "how can she..." type questions is tied up in such hidden agendas and quests, and it is futile to spend much time trying to figure them out, especially when the other has a vested interest in keep mysteries sealed, especially from herself.

At some point, the whys mattered less, and I stopped needing affection from her. Now I distrust my rare desire to connect, and tend to observe that wave pass through me rather than let it move me. I know her willingness to be physically intimate is motivated by practical concerns (she thinks I might leave otherwise); it's not out of a desire to be there "for" me, to meaningfully share something with me I would cherish. It's just crumbs she can barely force herself to save for me. And that is not enough. I'm free, in how I see it now. It is no longer emotionally heavy now. I breathe. And when I feel the timing is right, I'll walk. Or so I say.


----------



## 3Xnocharm

@PieceOfSky you needed to leave a LONG time ago.


----------



## Openminded

The longer you stay the easier it is to find excuses to stay. That's why many -- or most -- in unhappy marriages never do get out. They gamble they'll be the survivor when the natural end of the marriage finally arrives and that they'll still be in good enough health to enjoy what's left of their life. Sometimes the gamble pays off. Usually it doesn't.


----------



## Mr. Nail

As the year is closing, I've been going over a lot of these old posts. Something put me off over the Christmas break. It took a few days to figure out what it was. I got stood up. Again. And it made me as mad as it did last time. Only this time it was just a movie date to a movie I'm not that interested in. I shouldn't be mad. I shouldn't care. But I do. 
I've had some other epiphanies as I've thought about this. Consent. I get hit with a lot of things I never gave consent for. See the tempted thread. I'm being told that consent is required and the message I'm understanding is that I need to get consent. But that is not the message I need. The message I need is to Stop giving consent.
I'm being told that no person owes anyone sex. and the message I'm getting is that I shouldn't ask. But the message I need is that I shouldn't give. I don't owe it to anyone. No one is right to assume my consent. 
If I'm not interested, because my expectations aren't met, because my needs aren't considered, or even just because I don't feel like it. Then I have no responsibility to participate.
MN


----------



## turnera

Mr. Nail said:


> As the year is closing, I've been going over a lot of these old posts. Something put me off over the Christmas break. It took a few days to figure out what it was. I got stood up. Again. And it made me as mad as it did last time. Only this time it was just a movie date to a movie I'm not that interested in. I shouldn't be mad. I shouldn't care. But I do.
> I've had some other epiphanies as I've thought about this. Consent. I get hit with a lot of things I never gave consent for. See the tempted thread. I'm being told that consent is required and the message I'm understanding is that I need to get consent. But that is not the message I need. The message I need is to Stop giving consent.
> I'm being told that no person owes anyone sex. and the message I'm getting is that I shouldn't ask. But the message I need is that I shouldn't give. I don't owe it to anyone. No one is right to assume my consent.
> If I'm not interested, because my expectations aren't met, because my needs aren't considered, or even just because I don't feel like it. Then I have no responsibility to participate.
> MN


Did you get stood up by the same person twice?


----------



## ConanHub

I hate neurosis. Especially in people capable of complex thought.

Sex and attraction are primal.

Over thinking it is like strategizing taking a dump.

Get simple and like yourself.


----------



## ConanHub

PieceOfSky said:


> Speaking solely of my own situation, which may or may not be relevant...
> 
> In my case, there are a handful of answers to the why that have crossed my mind. Some of those reflect otherwise healthy qualities (grit, problem solving) and others my deepest weaknesses (fear of not being lovable or attractive enough, a penchant for tilting at windmills). There were years in the middle where I think I was on autopilot driven to satisfy my needs, my hunger for acceptance as a worthy man and human being, through her behavior towards me, especially her affection. And there was negativity towards me, and that can be a powerful force keeping one in orbit.
> 
> Turns out seeking what I needed through another doesn't work. Can't work. And at the end of the day my wife is far from a reliable assessor of my worth, as a man, as a partner, as a co-parent. She is enmeshed in her own hidden agendas and quests. I think the answers to many "how can she..." type questions is tied up in such hidden agendas and quests, and it is futile to spend much time trying to figure them out, especially when the other has a vested interest in keep mysteries sealed, especially from herself.
> 
> At some point, the whys mattered less, and I stopped needing affection from her. Now I distrust my rare desire to connect, and tend to observe that wave pass through me rather than let it move me. I know her willingness to be physically intimate is motivated by practical concerns (she thinks I might leave otherwise); it's not out of a desire to be there "for" me, to meaningfully share something with me I would cherish. It's just crumbs she can barely force herself to save for me. And that is not enough. I'm free, in how I see it now. It is no longer emotionally heavy now. I breathe. And when I feel the timing is right, I'll walk. Or so I say.


I'd ravage her until she climaxed into oblivion, started crying from despair or both at once.

Geesh!


----------



## PieceOfSky

ConanHub said:


> I'd ravage her until she climaxed into oblivion, started crying from despair or both at once.
> 
> Geesh!


What a manly fantasy based on very little information.

But enough about me. Not my thread.


----------



## ConanHub

PieceOfSky said:


> What a manly fantasy based on very little information.
> 
> But enough about me. Not my thread.


Not your thread but relevant.

And you can bet your ass I would force an emotional response in your situation to dig to the bottom of what your wife's issues are.


----------



## john117

ConanHub said:


> Not your thread but relevant.
> 
> And you can bet your ass I would force an emotional response in your situation to dig to the bottom of what your wife's issues are.


The human mind has an incredible capacity to stonewall. Otherwise they'd be teaching the above in psychotherapy class ...


----------



## ConanHub

john117 said:


> The human mind has an incredible capacity to stonewall. Otherwise they'd be teaching the above in psychotherapy class ...


Being a relentless butthead barbarian apparently has some advantages.

Stonewalls are no match!>

Well, I have empathy and I do realize different folks have different strengths. I do respect the differences.

I'm impressed by men who compete on mental levels that I struggle with. I don't correct their success in their arena because I know how to fail where they have thrived. I learn from their success and implement their techniques if possible.

I don't know everything. Very far from it, but I do know how to be sexually successful both before and after marriage. I have had to work for it, devote time and learn but I have always achieved results.

I have never met the woman I can't piss off and believe it or not, there is an art and science to doing it well.

Pissing a woman off correctly is vital to some primal sexual attraction. Pissing them off is not sufficient by itself but a vital element that many don't have.


----------



## PieceOfSky

ConanHub said:


> Not your thread but relevant.
> 
> And you can bet your ass I would force an emotional response in your situation to dig to the bottom of what your wife's issues are.


I’ve not been passive about getting to the bottom of it. Among other tactics, I have forced emotional responses in the bedroom and elsewhere and have thoughtfully observed her response on multiple occasions. Having been at this for years, I think I’ve managed to learn what her issues are, to the extent they are discoverable and useful to understand. There no love there for me, not of the sort I’d find satisfying.

There’s no solution I can imagine other than to set myself free and leave. The more detached I am physically, the more detached I am emotionally, and the easier it becomes to take the next step towards dissolution. Having sex with her, or even putting my arm around her, is self-deception. I’ve been trying to stop, and find my way to the door. My post was my reflection on where I got lost along the way.


----------



## john117

You're successful because of self selection. The types of women you prefer / attract sound like they respond well to your methods.

That may not be the case for everyone. Different personalities and all that. The type of person I like isn't likely to be intimidated by "my way or the highway" methods. And, if statistics are to be believed, this type is likely to be bad news down the road.

In my next life I'll make sure to avoid such types


----------



## ConanHub

I've been "successful" with many types.

The bottom line is they are all women and all have primal responses. All of them.

At least as far as sex goes.


----------



## john117

ConanHub said:


> I've been "successful" with many types.
> 
> The bottom line is they are all women and all have primal responses. All of them.
> 
> At least as far as sex goes.


Not in my experience. But the types I associate with are the six figure earnings, long term professional types who live to work. Their only primal response is to make sure they get the right amount of money or proper corner office or title.


----------



## Mr The Other

john117 said:


> Not in my experience. But the types I associate with are the six figure earnings, long term professional types who live to work. Their only primal response is to make sure they get the right amount of money or proper corner office or title.


I agree there are different types. If I acted in Scandinavia as I did in California, I would be a very lonely man.

But, I am not sure the smarts not career success are that greater indicators.

There is a lot to be said for being what you say on the tin. Some men will be soppy sentimentalists, unfortunately, my 350lb, muscular, skinhead doorman friend is like that. The women he attracts are rather put off when they find how much he likes posting pictures of kittens on Facebooks and wants to be a snugglebog. The women who would like that, tend not to go for the mean looking six and a half foot man minding the door.


----------



## Mr. Nail

Did you get stood up by the same person twice?

yes but there was quite a bit of time between the events. I've just discovered how much it pisses me off.


----------



## Mr. Nail

Conan oversimplifies everything.


----------



## turnera

Mr. Nail said:


> Did you get stood up by the same person twice?
> 
> yes but there was quite a bit of time between the events. I've just discovered how much it pisses me off.


So she has now blown her chances with you, right? Right? If not, YOU are the problem.


----------



## Mr. Nail

I did not arrive at that conclusion. For a while I thought that it meant that the only thing I could count on from her was disappointment. Then reason applied the law of averages. So while I realize that I will be stood up again. And it will piss me off a lot. I also know that in general I can count on her. So she hasn't blown her chances. But I am much less interested in her, at the moment. Again, I know where I am in her priority chain. The ME problem. Is how I explain to her that her Scheduled (unofficially with a very rigid no commitment clause) Saturday morning romp, is not consented to. Usually I just have something else to do.


----------



## ConanHub

Mr. Nail said:


> Conan oversimplifies everything.


And.... Gets laid at the drop of a hat and has always gotten laid at the drop of a hat. Very satisfyingly laid at the drop of a hat.

By poor women, wealthy women, business women, dancers, models, waitresses, bartenders, girl next door, bad girls, wild girls, good girls and everything in between.

Maybe my simple works.

But that's okay. If I'm asking advice about succeeding at something, I usually ask someone who is succeeding at it.

I guess to all you guys who aren't getting their brains drained out through their nether regions by women that practically worship them, continue on.

You really are over thinking it and commiserating with others who are reinforcing the mindset of not having a satisfying sex life.

But again, what the hell does a knuckle dragging barbarian like me know about sex?

Peace.


----------



## Andy1001

Mr. Nail said:


> Conan oversimplifies everything.


It is simple. @ConanHub probably had sex last night.
I had sex last night.And this morning.
If I wasn’t having sex with my partner she wouldn’t be my partner for long.
It’s that simple.


----------



## ConanHub

Andy1001 said:


> It is simple.
> @ConanHub probably had sex last night.
> I had sex last night.And this morning.
> If I wasn’t having sex with my partner she wouldn’t be my partner for long.
> It’s that simple.


I actually had sex 4 hours ago. Get off this thread dude. 


We aren't complex enough to figure out how not to get laid.


----------



## SunCMars

Andy1001 said:


> It is simple.
> @ConanHub probably had sex last night.
> I had sex last night.And this morning.
> If I wasn’t having sex with my partner she wouldn’t be my partner for long.
> It’s that simple.



Strong words....

*Andy, a millennium and one.
Not a hole in one...not with this post, this, your boast
*
Words do not have feet. They, as such, carry no weight, no load.
Words speak of resolve, have none in of themselves.
Words have left no women alone. The speaker doth do that.

Words, yes, have.... a man or a women killed, not in themselves, but where the words were planted.
In whom they were planted. Words can turn corners, turn locks to open. Taking the mind from life.
Loosing action. 

*If your partner has no redeeming adhesive. 
Yes, this you slyly spoke, and I interpreted.
If your partner is not bound to your hide, save to your peter connection.*

Then I warn you, never go soft.
Never go soft lest she slip away.
Slip off your peter.

For me-
An adhering women fastens onto my body, my mind and my spirit.
She cannot let go, without letting go of herself.

If she lets go of herself, she remains my partner in crime. 
She floats, I stand firm.
It is the crime of ownership. For all time, not talking.

The Martian-
Yes, The Typist assisted him.


----------



## Andy1001

SunCMars said:


> Strong words....
> 
> *Andy, a millennium and one.
> Not a hole in one...not with this post, this, your boast
> *
> Words do not have feet. They, as such, carry no weight, no load.
> Words speak of resolve, have none in of themselves.
> Words have left no women alone. The speaker doth do that.
> 
> Words, yes, have.... a man or a women killed, not in themselves, but where the words were planted.
> In whom they were planted. Words can turn corners, turn locks to open. Taking the mind from life.
> Loosing action.
> 
> *If your partner has no redeeming adhesive.
> Yes, this you slyly spoke, and I interpreted.
> If your partner is not bound to your hide, save to your peter connection.*
> 
> Then I warn you, never go soft.
> Never go soft lest she slip away.
> Slip off your peter.
> 
> For me-
> An adhering women fastens onto my body, my mind and my spirit.
> She cannot let go, without letting go of herself.
> 
> If she lets go of herself, she remains my partner in crime.
> She floats, I stand firm.
> It is the crime of ownership. For all time, not talking.
> 
> The Martian-
> Yes, The Typist assisted him.


Despite your ever more eloquent prose I get what you are saying most of the time.
I see the same story on tam regularly.The spouse,in this case the wife but not always,uses sex as a bargaining tool.I do not bargain,I make my needs clear in life and and in business.And if you cannot or will not supply what I need then I will eventually look elsewhere.
Like I said, it’s simple really.


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## SunCMars

Andy1001 said:


> Despite your ever more eloquent prose I get what you are saying most of the time.
> I see the same story on tam regularly.The spouse,in this case the wife but not always,uses sex as a bargaining tool.I do not bargain,I make my needs clear in life and and in business.And if you cannot or will not supply what I need then I will eventually look elsewhere.
> Like I said, it’s simple really.


We wish...
You wish..
I wish...

Wish is slippery, never can be held firm.
It always gets away.

Always calls your bluff.

Makes fools of our words, our boasts, our resolve.

Knocks you for a loop, knocks you to your knees.

If you win...
You lose..

In the end, if your words were accurate, you win.
In the end, your hope was lost, it weighs something.
Words, weigh not.


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## Chaparral

Just a point of clarification. She was getting massages and all you were getting out of the massage was a golden opportunity to be teased into a set of blue balls? Women did not used to like being known as a prick tease.


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## Mr. Nail

read to here.
you seem to be laboring under the false pretense that this is about sex. 
i'm not having sex until an emotional need is addressed. I don't care which one


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## Andy1001

Mr. Nail said:


> read to here.
> you seem to be laboring under the false pretense that this is about sex.
> i'm not having sex until an emotional need is addressed. I don't care which one


Have you ever heard the saying “Cutting off your nose to spite your face”.
You started this thread complaining that your wife wife wouldn’t have any sort of relationship with you.In your own words you wanted a relationship with planned events that you can look foreword to.You wanted her to commit to events more than an hour away.
Instead you have a wife who comes home,complains about her day and her life in general,reads romance novels and hands you excerpts from them expecting you to act like the men in them.She demands a massage then leaves you without ever reciprocating the act.
Now you tell us you are refusing sex.
It’s easy to refuse what’s not being offered.
Edit:Sex is an emotional need,one of the main needs in an adult.There are others but you seem to be starved of them as well.


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## EleGirl

I just deleted a big thread jack. From here on out, only post directly to the OP.


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