# Help with sex



## mackeral1 (Oct 30, 2009)

Like most women I like to get in the mood before I have sex. I like to kiss and touch and things like that but my husband doesnt. My husband is more the drop pants do it now kind. I have told him that I do not care for that but he doesn't seem to get it. I told him all of the things I like to get me in the mood but he seems to ignore them and only do for himself. I love my husband and want to make him happy so half the time I just do what he likes and forget about myself. We always have to lube it up to since I am never wet since I was not really in the mood to start with. Some times i just lay there in the bed and motionless and let him do his thing hoping that he would realize how I feel but, nothing. How do I get through to him that if he got me in the mood that sex would be a lot better?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

You know , it truly amazes me how Different men & women are. I bet you are a woman who enjoys sex and forplay & here you are with a man who only seems to seek his own pleasure, regardless of what you get out of the experience. 
He seriously would be SOOO well matched with a woman who didn't care for sex & just wanted the experience over with. They'd be happy with your man! 

While you need a man who truly cares about your experience -as well as his own. That should be the goal of any lover. Shame on him. (There are some men who are polar opposites of him, they can not even enjoy the experience IF they can not give their women an orgasm, knowing she was satisfied.) 

You hint at the end that if He took time for you -sex would be alot better- does that mean he IS noticing your lack of enthusiam finally?? I HOPE so - then maybe he will start listening to your needs. He is a Wham -BAm -Thank you Mam kinda guy. 

I would be really ticked ! You are more than patient, I would not allow him his orgasm till He gave me one 1st ! At least as often as you desired one (maybe twice a week ??) then allow him these quickies in addition. Seriously, you need to let him know how you FEEL -and make him listen -that this is frustrating for you. 

Bottom line, He is being a Selfish lover and you have a right to your needs being met as well.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Agree agree agree. It is fine to nicely tell him that he can have his pleasure AFTER he gives you yours. And then be firm. 




SimplyAmorous said:


> You know , it truly amazes me how Different men & women are. I bet you are a woman who enjoys sex and forplay & here you are with a man who only seems to seek his own pleasure, regardless of what you get out of the experience.
> He seriously would be SOOO well matched with a woman who didn't care for sex & just wanted the experience over with. They'd be happy with your man!
> 
> While you need a man who truly cares about your experience -as well as his own. That should be the goal of any lover. Shame on him. (There are some men who are polar opposites of him, they can not even enjoy the experience IF they can not give their women an orgasm, knowing she was satisfied.)
> ...


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

Just say no honey. He isn't even attempting to listen to your wishes, why should he when you are still giving him what he wants? You may have to put your foot down and let him know that you deserve to have your needs met and that until you feel he is going to be more considerate that you have lost patience in being considerate to him about it.


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## lumberjack31 (Jan 1, 2010)

My wife put it in laymans terms for me. She said, "I'm an covential oven, not a microwave. I have to preheat." Needless to say, I got the message 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Me'N'My'Girl (Jan 10, 2010)

lumberjack31 said:


> My wife put it in laymans terms for me. She said, "I'm an covential oven, not a microwave. I have to preheat." Needless to say, I got the message
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



:rofl: 
hahaha...thats a really good one!!


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## Me'N'My'Girl (Jan 10, 2010)

when i first got with my husband i had the same problem.i always wanted lots of foreplay and he never spent enough time.we started to grow apart.i felt so resentful after having sex.he started to sense this and stopped initiating sex.after a heart to heart talk he was shocked thinking that 5 minutes of foreplay was more than enough.things improved dramatically after that.

i think you two should sit together and honestly discuss the problem.you could be surprized how clueless he is.


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## del88 (Mar 24, 2010)

Some guys just need to hear it over and over before they get the picture. Have a very serious conversation about what you both want out of your marriage and sex life and, hopefully, he will get better.


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## stillwed (Apr 8, 2010)

That sucks. Buy him a blow up doll. Tell him that's more his speed.....:scratchhead: But seriously, I would stop sex all together and be up front with him why I was cutting him off. Sometimes the point has to be made strongly.


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## simple_girl (Mar 24, 2010)

IMO if talking to him about it doesn't work, just show him. It could simply be a matter of your sexual languages not communicating. You could try getting naked together, taking his hands, mouth, member, what have you and guiding them all over your body, showing him what you want him to do to you. You could also try teasing him with different toys or props. Or making him watch you play with yourself and then letting him do anything but penetration. Anything you can think of (use your imagination) to get him to pay more attention to your needs. But make sure that he doesn't get the reward, unless he is at least willing to help you achieve yours first. 

Good luck!


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

It could be just an age thing. . .I am 41 years old now and need foreplay. Always liked it and did it when I was 25 but now I really need it.

It's not just like when the wind blows, my **** gets hard.


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