# Take a second guess



## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Say , husband and wife went to do yearly medical test which includes STD and Aids test . While waiting for results , woman said , "will our results be alright ." Man said ,"I only have sex with you , why shouldn't it be alright ." Woman looked at husband , puzzled , " why do you need to declare that ? The medical test is a full checkup ." 

What do you think?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

tripad said:


> What do you think?


Faced with the same question.... I might respond similarly, because other information provided in the checkups is not going to provide a basis for conflict between me and my wife. And, conflict with my wife is the worst possible outcome. I would much rather have cancer or heart disease or need both my legs amputated or impending death than face marital conflict.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

tripad said:


> Say , husband and wife went to do yearly medical test which includes* STD and Aids test .* While waiting for results , woman said , "will our results be alright ." Man said ,"I only have sex with you , why shouldn't it be alright ." Woman looked at husband , puzzled , " why do you need to declare that ? The medical test is a full checkup ."
> 
> What do you think?


The wife half assed implies that she is worried the tests won't come back ok.

My reply would have been," Of course they will be OK. I only have sex with you, unless you are trying to tell me something?"

I don't do **** tests.
That's exactly what that question was.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Or, it could simply be that the wife in this scenario doesn't have sex on the brain all the time and was referring to all of the other things that annual physicals and bloodwork test for. It's possible that she was merely looking for reassurance that all of the test results would be okay. As she said, it was a full checkup, not just an STD test.

If I asked my SO how his annual physical and bloodwork went, it certainly wouldn't even occur to me that the question might be a **** test, or in any other way a loaded question regarding his fidelity. I'd be curious if his labs are still good - regarding his heart, his blood sugars, his cholesterol, his kidney function, etc. If he jumped to the conclusion that I was asking if he thought his HIV test would be negative - and thus implying that I was questioning his fidelity - I'm pretty sure that would be a red flag to me. Because that's obviously where _his_ mind was, when that possibility wouldn't have occurred to me. 


By the way, my annual physical has never - as a matter of course - included STD and HIV testing. Those tests have to be requested specifically. The only times I've had them were as part of routine prenatal testing and upon request when I discovered my husband had been cheating on me. So, that a married couple would be getting STD testing done would likely already indicate to me that there's the possibility of something hinky going on. Are they in R after an affair? Is there some reason to suspect STD exposure for one or both of them? Or is this just a cultural difference in what is routinely tested for in different countries?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Well first off, if I was in a committed relationship, I would have to wonder about what level of paranoia would induce my spouse to insist on annual STD and AIDS tests. I might take that to mean that perhaps they had some concern about something that they did. So I could see why that question might come up. Secondly, as has been said (ignoring the paranoia) that the question may have just been in regards to all of the other tests. That's what I think.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Rowan said:


> By the way, my annual physical has never - as a matter of course - included STD and HIV testing.


Exactly, hence why I answered the way I did.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

tripad said:


> Say , husband and wife went to do yearly medical test which includes STD and Aids test . While waiting for results , woman said , "will our results be alright ." Man said ,"I only have sex with you , why shouldn't it be alright ." Woman looked at husband , puzzled , " why do you need to declare that ? The medical test is a full checkup ."
> 
> What do you think?


If she ordered STD testing, she may have fears that he [maybe she was pre-diagnosed] would show having some STD, maybe Hep A,B,C,D.....

She is fearful that some STD she had in the past was not cured. Not cured and passed on to him.

Or, she is fearful that he has been unfaithful. And he is indignant at this comment, he reads it as an off-hand accusation.

Paranoia needs an original source. Even an imaginary one.

Not enough context. The Red Flags are at half-mast.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> Not enough context. The Red Flags are at half-mast.


In this case, the esoteric one simply states the most reasonable position.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Wow, going to get physicals together brings a whole new meaning to "quality time". Did the wife at least turn her back during the prostrate exam?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

tripad said:


> Say , husband and wife went to do yearly medical test which includes STD and Aids test . While waiting for results , woman said , "will our results be alright ." Man said ,"I only have sex with you , why shouldn't it be alright ." Woman looked at husband , puzzled , " why do you need to declare that ? The medical test is a full checkup ."
> 
> What do you think?


I would have answered the same way. But with a chuckle.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

If I thought there was nefarious or disrespectful intent, I might have said

"I doubt it. I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and seventeen diseases you can't even pronounce. I'll be dead before you can request additional life insurance on me. Start thinking about how long you can live without a job of a single $200,000 dollar lump sum."


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Cooper said:


> Wow, going to get physicals together brings a whole new meaning to "quality time". Did the wife at least turn her back during the prostrate exam?


No, he turned his back and bent over. :frown2:

With perfect timing, the wife accidentally bumped the doctor's elbow....hard! :surprise::surprise:


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

If my husband said that to me, my red flags would go up.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

My wife's concerns following my physical are my BMI, and my A1c levels. She almost lost me once after my second heart attack, now we are meticulous with just about every test. We do not have conversations about STD's or other nonsense, that is history in our relationship. The concerns are: for her-need to have a colonoscopy on a yearly basis, as her family is riddled with colon cancer, for me-stress test every three years, as I have had two heart attacks, my A1c level, as I am a very controlled diabetic, and my BMI, as I took the major step of losing 130 lbs to get my health back. 

This may have been said in jest, or as a passive aggressive warning, neither is important. Whats important? Keeping the ones you love safe, to that end, we monitor each others' health.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

I should be more specific . 

It is not yearly test . It was a full medical checkup required by insurance . It requires AIDS test . It may not include STD . Cant remember . 

What else was weird was this . The test requires us to poop for a test . I dont remember the test . I am usually the constipated one while the husband is the one who can poop 2 or 3 times a day . 

But the husband didnt poop for the test that day and didnt tell me while i was chattering away how lucky i manage to poop that bit for the test . 

The next day , he suddenly announced he didnt manage to poop and will now go to the hospital to do the poop . I offered to go with him but he vehemently insisted not , till the point he was pissed with me . I felt something strange but didnt push it . 

The next day , when we went back for the results . He made that comment .


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Ernmm . Months later . Finance issues appeared . He started walking away when phone rings . I was looking into his phone and he started to sleep with his phone under his pillow .


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

tripad said:


> Ernmm . Months later . Finance issues appeared . He started walking away when phone rings . I was looking into his phone and he started to sleep with his phone under his pillow .


Major red flags. Sorry OP.
How much digging have you been able to do?


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

I think he had reason to have only the STD test (and perhaps the AIDS test also) on his mind to respond to that test only. And his wife was keen to hone in on his premature defense of denial.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

tripad said:


> I should be more specific .
> 
> It is not yearly test . It was a full medical checkup required by insurance . It requires AIDS test . It may not include STD . Cant remember .
> 
> ...


:scratchhead:

Was this in the past with your ex?

Why are you still thinking about him?


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > I should be more specific .
> ...


RD

Grin

It's about the ex . I suppose i never got to find out if he had cheated . A lot of red flags but no confirmation . Perhaps , no closure . It's like you got hit , but by what ? 

Recent events triggered thoughts of the past and the melancholic mood . 

A few more lick on the wound and i should get up again , =/


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

tripad said:


> RD
> 
> Grin
> 
> ...



It really sounds like you'd be much better off if you would stop pain shopping. Accept the fact that you will never get whatever "closure" you may be looking for. Sometimes bad things just happen to us. It's our responsibility to decide how we'd like to respond to them. It's much healthier to respond by learning, growing, and moving on. When thoughts of your ex arise, distract yourself with some other healthier thoughts or activities. Let go of the obsessive thoughts of the past and focus on the present and/or the future. Stop devoting your precious time and energy to someone who clearly does not deserve them.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

tripad said:


> RD
> 
> Grin
> 
> ...


Sooner you cut him out of your life the better tripad, and the sooner you do, the sooner you no longer suffer from these thoughts of the past.

Considering who/what type of trash he is I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated. His words are all vomit and it's still consistent to this day. That's the closure you have, so move on.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > RD
> ...


I thought so too . That he cheated . Not just once . 

GRIN . Your reply is really "Wham Bam Deal Done Nah U Go" 

But yes , got to pick up again n move on .


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