# OMG I really needed somone!



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Okay, so I had a not so great day at work because I had to deal w/ a bigot (I have no tolerance for small/narrow minded know it alls)

So I am home, things are going fine and BING! SCHMACK! TRIGGER!

MY A$$ of a stbxh has spent more money eating out in 2 days than I did for a household of kids and pets. My bills will not be paid. He hasn't spent that much money on us going out in YEARS and it was because of a special occasion when we did. 

A PANIC attack like from December occured (I have told a couple of you about them) and it kicked in. OMG I am tearing up my room looking for what I needed ... I turned on the shower... looked for meds knowing that's really what I needed and then my daughter send me this 

Pray for You - Jaron and The Long Road to Love :: Official Video - YouTube
It kept me from a ledge. I so needed to talk to someone and it was a daughter who happened to call right at the time. 

One of my kids offered to loan me the money to divorce her father I think that is just incredible, but yet she still supports and defends him, but wants me to get out now!


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Oh and I took a huge step... one of the only ways we communicated was FB. I just blocked him (and secretly hoping my children will too).


----------



## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

FWIW, that song has brought me smiles so many times when I'm in a bad place! The whole album is pretty good also. Look for, "I hope you hit traffic."


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Doesn't it just irk you when someone can be so irresponsible while you are trying to feed your family!? 

Hope you're ok...


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> Okay, so I had a not so great day at work because I had to deal w/ a bigot (I have not tolerance for small/narrow minded know it alls)
> 
> So I am home, things are going fine and BING! SCHMACK! TRIGGER!
> 
> ...




I absolutely love that song/video!

My STBXH is behind on $$ from last month which he promised to make up with this months $ (in full). So far, nada! He's saying he's injured (torn rotator cup/shoulder and needs surgery) and can't send it. Gave him a deadline and advised not getting it from DD. She calls and offers to send me some, I refused as I told him not to get from her, how could I? Besides, it's not up to her to clean up his mess (he has a track record of taking $ from the kids, says they OWE him!)

Kids can surprise and amaze us parents at the most unexpected times by doing the most unexpected things.


----------



## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I hope today is better for you. I understand what you're going through. 

hugs..


----------



## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

So glad you've got the older kids to help you get through this


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

OldGirl said:


> So glad you've got the older kids to help you get through this


I know it helps. But I feel so bad when I have to tell them that their dad may be turning into deadbeat. I protected him w/ them, friends, and family and now I am done. I need ppl to realize he has turned into an irresponsible, carefree d*bag (as my daughter has called him).


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You really don't have to tell them anything.

My daughter's father turned into a deadbeat and I didn't tell her a thing about it. Kids aren't stupid. one day she said, "It's embarrassing to have a dad like that. I know he loves me, but god...he's kinda lame."

That came from my 12 year old. I just said, "Well, everyone has a path in life and choices to make. He did this...it's nothing to do with you or anything like that. He just made this choice and someday he'll realize it was wrong."

Blessings to you.


----------



## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> I know it helps. But I feel so bad when I have to tell them that their dad may be turning into deadbeat. I protected him w/ them, friends, and family and now I am done. I need ppl to realize he has turned into an irresponsible, carefree d*bag (as my daughter has called him).


:iagree: They're old enough to understand; sounds like they figured it out themselves anyway, so don't feel bad.


----------



## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

So sad for you Mama. I will say a prayer for you. Hang in there. (((Hugs)))

I hope today is better for you.

Think how lucky you are to have such a beautiful daughter. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Sorry you're going through this Momma. Psychic Bandit bear-hug coming through the ether to you now.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Can it be a long hug and then can I rest my head on your shoulder for a while? 
That sounded needy... but really I just want to feel a man for a while.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Shoulder's right here. Cry away. Just go easy on the snot.


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

mama I'm so sorry. I'm glad you have such amazing children to help you through the rough days. 
Hugs!


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Pray for You - Jaron and The Long Road to Love :: Official Video - YouTube
> It kept me from a ledge. I so needed to talk to someone and it was a daughter who happened to call right at the time.
> 
> One of my kids offered to loan me the money to divorce her father I think that is just incredible, but yet she still supports and defends him, but wants me to get out now!



never heard this song before but I LOVE it.....can I send it to my stbxh? would it be that wrong? haha:rofl:


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I liked the traffic one too but it kept stopping (it may be the wifi here at work), but I read the lyrics. I like the way this guy thinks!


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

So I decided to unblock him but I don't have to worry he unfriended me so he can't see sh!t anyway. Too bad he will not see any of his kids pics (which is why I unblocked him) but I guess it won't bother him since he doesn't want to see them in person. 

I called a couple of lawyers today and wanted to know rates but one is collaborative (not gonna happen) and the other hasn't called me back. I may have to go after the woman that is pricey but promising to be a friggin pitbull. 

I looked more closely at our bank acct and he took 300 out this week on top of the 100 out to eat. Btw I fed 7 ppl, 4 dogs, and cats w/ Easter dinner under 150 dollars - ALL WEEK!


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

mama big hugs for you. I wanted to do the same....I purposefully made all the pictures public thinking if he saw the pictures....saw our life together sooner or later he'd want it back. I doubt he even looked. I finally took all the pictures with him on it off and made everything private. If he wants to see his kids he knows where we live.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Why do I want him to even want an R? So I have some say, since he has given me none? So I can turn him down? So that he will come back and we can grow old together? 

I need to just get out and enjoy myself! Or have a long distance relationship so no one has to see me naked  for a while! LOL


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

mama I think everything you said is a part of it....when I think about my stbx and really am honest about how he was in our relationship and how he was since he walked out....who in their right mind would want to R with him...much less BEG for it???? I think part of my reasoning is fear of being alone...fear I can't do this alone...but hello I am doing it right now...have been. And I think like you said...I got no say in what he did...none...just all of the sudden my life was upside down....I want a do over....I want some say in how my life goes. YOU deserve more and so do I....so much more than this crap. So **** them...your stbx and mine....they are not so special that they dictate our happiness...they are hardly the only men out there.....they aren't even one of the good ones out there!


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

And btw....an online 'friend' isnt such a bad idea....it gives you someone to talk to and say all the nice things thats so wonderful to hear right now and lets you 'wet your feet' so to speak....why not....enjoy!!


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Melissa, I haven't had much say in a lot of the BIG decisions in our lives yet he insists I controlled it all! I think he is too immature and when I look at some of my options out there I really wonder about wanting to stay away from anyone even close to him. 

I don't want him back unless he is a totally different person and my children don't want him back as a 'dad' either right now. I want a guy like so many of them on here... Bandit, Out of the Blue, Proud, etc I want a man who is done living their childhood. I want a man to be a man, to take care of me ... put me in my place when needed and cuddle me when I needed but not be to macho to let me do the same. 

I want security (emotional etc). I want to feel sexy. 

I don't want to nag or feel like a nag just to get him to do anything around the house (in or out). I want a partner who can help w/ decisions. I want a partner who can hold up the conversation. 

I want sex. My stbxh was good. He knew what I liked and I thought I knew him pretty well. How on earth is this going to work or be possible finding w/ someone else?


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

Oh mama.....you deserve ALL of that. I was married before this time...for 14 yrs....I NEVER thought that marriage would fall apart and when it did that I would ever be able to pick up the pieces...be with another person or ever be happy again. But I did pick up the pieces...not very well but I did it....and I dated and found out that men liked my company and I could enjoy being around other men. I found out that while I thought my ex was the only person who knew me and my wants and needs, that new men were FUN....and guess what? it wasent such a mystery how to please me....my ex wasent the only one that could do it and neither is yours! 
Just be smarter than me when you do get out there and don't ignore red flags and get into a relationship with another jerk like I did....no fun doing this once much less twice. 
Hugs....you're going to be just fine mama...when you release yourself from him you're going to find that there is a whole lot of life out there for you to enjoy. And me too!


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

melissa68 said:


> Oh mama.....you deserve ALL of that. I was married before this time...for 14 yrs....I NEVER thought that marriage would fall apart and when it did that I would ever be able to pick up the pieces...be with another person or ever be happy again. But I did pick up the pieces...not very well but I did it....and I dated and found out that men liked my company and I could enjoy being around other men. I found out that while I thought my ex was the only person who knew me and my wants and needs, that new men were FUN....and guess what? it wasent such a mystery how to please me....my ex wasent the only one that could do it and neither is yours!
> Just be smarter than me when you do get out there and don't ignore red flags and get into a relationship with another jerk like I did....no fun doing this once much less twice.
> Hugs....you're going to be just fine mama...when you release yourself from him you're going to find that there is a whole lot of life out there for you to enjoy. And me too!


Great to know! 

What red flags!!??? Write the book? lol

I thought I did get free, felt free for a while. I guess I got sucked back in when I saw he was dating and just because I don't want to fail my kids. I was mean earlier to the kids ... they were misbehaving and I said some stupid stuff out of anger. There dad has seen them not even 12 hours this month! I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. 

I get a little scared and excited thinking about someone else it's been so long since I have had a man touch me (really touch me).


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

I married the first time at 19...we were married for 14 years...together for 2 years before that....I thought it was forever so never even thought of someone else. Well apparently he did and thats what ended our marriage....someone from work and fun they're still together to this day. But thats another therapy session...haha
Anyhoo I dated for a while...and met my current stbxh after about 2 years. Here is my embarrassing story: first we met online...talked a LOT online and I felt like I really got to know him. He was honest with me about so many things...including that he had recently been in prison for drug charges. First RED FLAG Please no offense to anyone but if you know me you'd know that I was one of those people who never even got a traffic ticket...had never stepped foot in a prison or known anyone that had been in. He had been in for manufacturing and using....but somehow I didn't care. I didnt think I was even interested in a real relationship...was having too much fun dating whomever so it didnt matter. My kids were with their dad for two weeks when we met for the first time in person. From that moment on we were always together. On our second date, I invited him over for dinner to my house...we had a nice dinner and sat on the couch to watch a tv....he had his head in my lap and it was so comfortable....so much so he fell asleep. SECOND RED FLAG Instead of being offended I liked it...it felt secure to have someone there with me like that. By the end of those two weeks we were inseparable. Time went on and my boys were introduced to him...then little hints of his temper starting showing. One in particular comes to mind when we were all at the pool. My sons were 4 and 6 at the time and were playing around with Danny...my oldest took a mess bag and swung it at him and caught him in the eye with it. Danny got up out of the pool....walked up to my apt, got his things and left....we sat in the pool stunned THIRD RED FLAG After a few days he apologized though never did say he overreacted....just that my son shouldnt of snapped him in the eye with the bag but that he shouldnt of left like he did either. FOURTH RED FLAG.....oh my gosh I could go on and on and on but just make sure that you are secure and confident in yourself before you let someone else in your life because sometimes even if you think you'd never be 'that person' who would end up in an abusive relationship you are. 

Hugs


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

melissa68 said:


> When you do get out there and don't ignore red flags and get into a relationship with another jerk like I did....no fun doing this once much less twice.
> Hugs....you're going to be just fine mama...when you release yourself from him you're going to find that there is a whole lot of life out there for you to enjoy. And me too!


Get ready to move!! As soon as you move you will be released. I actually would consider moving but my child who is co-parenting w/ me has to pick a grad school (then I would have to be able to get a job). Ugh... or I could go it alone but me changing locales is a little harder for me because of licensing/certs. 
I am not sure what you do but the move may do you good. A fresh start, maybe?


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

I'm hoping so mama...I really need to be near family and feel like I have options and not 'stuck'. I just finished schooling for Medical Assisting and Phlebotomy so I can do that anywhere there are hospitals and Drs offices....right now it seems like things are falling in to place leading me to move....I have some money socked away, its nearly summertime so the kids wont have to be taken out of school, I just finished my schooling and can take my national boards anywhere theres a testing ctr. I'm ready for this


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

My adult kids all say they get a say in my relationships in case love blinds me. Honestly, w/ close friends that have not had the 'luck' that I have had in the past we often could sense the good guys from the bad. I am not sure if I could totally trust their opinion because they slip back into being their daddy's kid.... I just don't know. 

I guess I should worry about it later and not now.... I don't mind getting to know someone online, it might be easier than local/in person w/ my brood. One guy who was mentioned to me (match.com) said he doesn't mind if the woman has kids just not a brood. I don't know how to classify mine. They are pretty much two sets of kids, I feel honest to say I have 3 kids x2 w/o lying. 

So are you going to Nevada? Will you rent? Find a job first?


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

You'll do great and having older kids to help guide you couldnt hurt 
I hope I've learned enough to be smarter should I even think about dating in the future. Right now I don't even have the desire to think about it and the anti-depressants I'm on ruin my sex drive so no worries on that front haha 
Yes I'm moving to Nevada...I have two sisters and a niece who is actually close in age and lots of little cousins for the boys to get to know. We're most likely going to stay with one of my sisters until I can find a place to rent and a job. Hopefully it wont take long....I'm not a great houseguest lol


----------



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Mama,
You will be fine, you deserve everything you are looking for. You have no idea how good that made me feel that you listed me as a type of guy you would want.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Keep your chin up Momma. Things will start going your way one day. Just be patient. There are real people behind these words on your screen and we care about you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Phoenixrfa (Mar 31, 2012)

I'm pretty new to this site and I read lots but I don't post much. Your posts are ones that I consistently read. There are good guys out there and one will find you. You will get the love you deserve.


----------



## chocolategeek (Mar 8, 2012)

Mama, I would love to have children like yours to get me through my darkest hours. Hope you feel better soon.


----------



## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> I want a guy like so many of them on here... Bandit, Out of the Blue, Proud, etc I want a man who is done living their childhood. I want a man to be a man, to take care of me ... put me in my place when needed and cuddle me when I needed but not be to macho to let me do the same.
> 
> I want security (emotional etc). I want to feel sexy.
> 
> ...


Mama, it's an honour to be included in your group of TAM men. Believe me, there are lots of us out there, just as there are lots of good women. You just need to find them.


----------



## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> keep your chin up momma. Things will start going your way one day. Just be patient. There are real people behind these words on your screen and we care about you.
> _posted via mobile device_


ditto


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

OutOfTheBlue said:


> Mama, it's an honour to be included in your group of TAM men. Believe me, there are lots of us out there, just as there are lots of good women. You just need to find them.


I do know that there are lots of good, strong, loving men out there. You are the three I interact w/ the most right now ... but there have been others (don't take that wrong ). I just know that there are so many men who have been through so much and yet still want their family units together and want their wife to be their partner for life. Like JayB, SD, so many...


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

mama I know it works both ways for me...makes me so deeply sad that my stbxh is not one of those men who would fight for his family...do anything for his children...and then on the other side it gives me hope that there are men who really do feel that way and I hope should I ever brave putting myself out there that by then I've worked on myself enough to find one of them!


----------



## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

im just getting caught up on the thread- mama what you said about what kind of man you want fits my desription exactly as well, you hit the nail on the head and someday me, you and melissa will all find that kinda man.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

Mama...when you are ready, I know that you will find a man that honors and loves you as you deserve. You seem like an amazing person...and you will find love. Just keep your "eye on the prize".

I, myself, am in a really,really good place right now. I have finally reached the point of "indifference" towards my stbxh. I don't care who he boinks or what he does in his free time--just as long as he takes care of my son on the weekends that he has him...and as long as he pays me child support. He is simply a 'bank' to me now. 

He officially moved out in October. (...although,we were living apart in my house since last August). I am just so ready for this to be overwith. Unfortunately, I have to be separated and living apart for 1 year before I can get a divorce in my state. But, I would sign the papers today if I could. I am done.

I have been "looking" around at other guys lately....and i have noticed that there are a lot of good ones out there. You'll find one! ...just keep moving forward.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

OutOfTheBlue said:


> Mama, it's an honour to be included in your group of TAM men. Believe me, there are lots of us out there, just as there are lots of good women. You just need to find them.


Honestly, I had reasons to pick you three and I should have included a few more...

You, OutoftheBlue - well, who could not be turned on by the love you talk about having for your wife, your strength, accent  w/ a loggers body!! Especially once you have passed Brad Pitt status/age. I am looking for a mature man who knows how to love, please, talk and treat a woman. I am sure there is much more to you but just the interaction we have had has been fun (right there an attractive characteristic).

Proud, you show loyalty, romance, sensitivity, active parent, and who couldn't love how much you are involved in your family!

Bandit.45- You are a man who will say what he thinks and let us have it when we need it. I am thinking you'd be good with a whip and in a kilt! Yeah, there's some dream material for you!! I believe you are more sensitive than you let us think. 

All three of you bring humor, sensitivity, and show the love you have felt. I could keep going but tax day is approaching and I am doing ppls taxes .... as they give me info ... so gotta just let it go for now. 

There are some great guys here.... Calvin, Jay, SD, et al.


----------



## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

This is so much of a nicer discussion than our normal wallowing!!!!


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Oh and I took a huge step... one of the only ways we communicated was FB. I just blocked him (and secretly hoping my children will too).


I felt childish and realized the only way he knows what's going on w/ his kids is through FB, so I unblocked him, only to find out he UN-FRIENDED me. I thought, fair is fair... "W"hatever. That was Friday


Today- Saturday- He requested to be my friend... I F'd up and confirmed to quickly! Dang it!! Can someone come and schmack me. I realized as soon as I did it that it was too fast. I had finally finished Divorce Remedy and started on "Rebuilding:When your relationship ends" today. I realized I needed to move on... but it's tax weekend at my house and I want to be outside in the 70s weather/overcast/breezy but no here I am doing taxes... so I confirmed his [email protected] friendship and need to let my screw up go.

I could use a good spanking though


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Pull down your knickers and bend over!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> I felt childish and realized the only way he knows what's going on w/ his kids is through FB, so I unblocked him, only to find out he UN-FRIENDED me. I thought, fair is fair... "W"hatever. That was Friday
> 
> 
> Today- Saturday- He requested to be my friend... I F'd up and confirmed to quickly! Dang it!! Can someone come and schmack me. I realized as soon as I did it that it was too fast. I had finally finished Divorce Remedy and started on "Rebuilding:When your relationship ends" today. I realized I needed to move on... but it's tax weekend at my house and I want to be outside in the 70s weather/overcast/breezy but no here I am doing taxes... so I confirmed his [email protected] friendship and need to let my screw up go.
> ...


It doesn't pay to be mean and cold yourself. In some ways i think that is just wrong. 

There's much worse you could have messed up. Take it as he saw his error and tried to fix it with a friend request. 

In my opinion fb causes too much hard ache anyway.

Be good to yourself and do what you need to for you and the kids. I'm seeing a similar pattern in your behavior to my own right before I hit rock bottom last year. Dont let it drag you down....from experience, its been a b"@#& digging out of this hole.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

Mama, 

I love you!


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

sadwithouthim said:


> It doesn't pay to be mean and cold yourself. In some ways i think that is just wrong.
> 
> There's much worse you could have messed up. Take it as he saw his error and tried to fix it with a friend request.
> 
> ...


Thanks. I know it was a little childish to block him... but the fact he is being so irresponsible just angered me so much. I have never blocked anyone so I have no idea what they see when it happens but I did just did a gut confirm him for a friend (he has been for 27 yrs). 

We pick apart at fb but honestly I am closer to family that are far away than I would if I had to rely on snail mail and phones (both I dislike) so this is how I talk to them all at once. I send pics out, update after surgeries - it's pretty efficient that way. It's when social networks are used for evil when it's really bad. I teach HS and I see it happen but it's how we choose to use that makes it evil.

I have had a couple of bad nights this wk, I have been okay except for those... triggers... me seeing his irresponsible behavior. 

I have had some bad nights... I really thought I had put some of this behind me. Thursday scared the crap out of me though. Timing is everything, phone calls and that connection w/ ppl when you really need it...


Come to think of it ... it use to be a joke how close my oldest and I were. Finishing sentences, wearing similar clothes when we'd leave our bdrms, etc and then Thursday when she called I hit a bottom - it makes me believe in something a little supernatural. 

Thanks SWOH... I am trying hard to stay out of the hole and do okay most days. I am a fighter who can do this!


----------



## chocolategeek (Mar 8, 2012)

I deleted and blocked my H on FB, too. Heheh. I couldn't take all the girls liking every single status update he had there. Ugh. Only unblocked and friended him again 6 months after our R.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I just ... seriously every song on the cable channels are aimed at us BS!! 

This morning my 8 yo son had a dream that a silver van drove up, put a for sale sign in the yard. He was looking for someone to pay $500 so he could stay in his house. He woke up crying w/ big tears... I had to work today (giving a test) so I stayed w/ him as long as I could and reassured him I'd try to keep the house... 

His dad has NO idea the pain he is causing any of his children. I was just laying down thinking how I miss him (all sorts of parts) but when I think of the pain he is still causing 5 months into this ... pain to me and his 6 children ... why do I still think there's anything left to save.

I was so ready to file in 2 wks, now I am wondering ... The fact he friended me might be his way of keeping tabs so he doesn't feel like a sh!tty dad OR he cares? I guess I need more than both of those. 

Hell, I honestly had two bad nights w/i three days... not good. 

Bandit... knickers are down


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

chocolategeek said:


> Mama, I would love to have children like yours to get me through my darkest hours. Hope you feel better soon.


My kids do rock!! they can stress me and break me... but man They can raise me and wake me up to what really matters. I am lucky to have them 24/7 right now. Their dad is losing out not wanting to be w/ them.


----------



## chocolategeek (Mar 8, 2012)

> I was so ready to file in 2 wks, now I am wondering ... The fact he friended me might be his way of keeping tabs so he doesn't feel like a sh!tty dad OR he cares? I guess I need more than both of those.


My H used to stalk me too, when we were apart and I blocked him. Whenever we'd see each other, he'd be rattling off my status updates. Lol. I think your H is trying to keep tabs and maybe reaching out to you in cyberspace. But yes, you need more than that.


----------



## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

I unfriended my stbxh on Facebook a while ago. He doesn't really use FB that much anyway--but, I didn't want him to know what I was doing with my spare time. If he wants to see pictures of our son and dog, he is welcomed to ask. I didn't do it out of spite--I just want to cut the ties. He is not my friend anymore....I don't even know who he is anymore. He certainly isn't the same man I fell in love with. 

I used to send him pictures and videos that I posted online, but I stopped doing that a while ago. He doesn't seem to notice or care. I figured he would ask me if he wanted me to send them to him.

I will have to admit--there was a time when I would do stuff like that (...like un-friend on Facebook or stop including him in mass emails to family) just to get some sort of reaction out of him. But, I don't want to play those games anymore. If he texts, I used to play "the waiting game" and wait to respond for at least a few hours (...because that is what I thought I was supposed to do to "win" him back). But, now, I am tired of all that. I done with the games and with the rules. I am just done. I am cordial to him. I am no longer spiteful or bitter. I don't go out of my way to be nice to him, but I also don't do things out of spite anymore.

I feel like I re-trained my brain not to think about him all the time anymore. For about 6 weeks, every time I would think about him, I would hold up a mental stop sign in my brain and tell myself to just STOP...then I would think about someone else, say a pray for someone else, or get up and do something. I don't try to figure him out, and I don't sit at home and analyze every action or inaction he does. 

It was hard to do this...and I had some relapses throughout.. but it has really paid off. My counselor said that what I did was equivalent to training for a marathon. I had just reached the point where I was sad for too long, and I was growing into a bitter, angry person. I had to do something to change my way of thinking....and this worked for me. I am in such a good place. 

We all have bad days, Mama. But, I have a feeling that soon those bad day will become less and less frequent for you.


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I am FUMING today ladies. I was taking daughter to Westfield shopping centre which is on the London Underground - got three stops along and then it was suspended so we were all chucked off

the stop happened to be the one closest to H's new flat so I phoned him (as he's supposed to be coming round today to pick up more stuff) and said that if he was going to the house could he drop us back?

so he said 'oh I'm not coming today, had a bit of a late one' (bear in mind it's 1pm) but didn't offer to drop us back (it would have taken 5 minutes) so we walked 3 damn miles (hardly any buses because it's a Sunday)

what an A*SEHOLE - this is the man that three weeks ago was saying 'you can call me whenever you need me, I'm always here for you'

I want him gone, out of my life, forever - seriously if I never saw him again it would be too soon at this point

I only calmed down after a mile and a half ha ha

sorry, but needed to VENT


----------



## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> Thanks. I know it was a little childish to block him... but the fact he is being so irresponsible just angered me so much. I have never blocked anyone so I have no idea what they see when it happens but I did just did a gut confirm him for a friend (he has been for 27 yrs).
> 
> We pick apart at fb but honestly I am closer to family that are far away than I would if I had to rely on snail mail and phones (both I dislike) so this is how I talk to them all at once. I send pics out, update after surgeries - it's pretty efficient that way. It's when social networks are used for evil when it's really bad. I teach HS and I see it happen but it's how we choose to use that makes it evil.
> 
> ...


Its only childish if you continue the behavior. We all learn from the things we do.

I had an ok weekend but today has been sad and rough. I guess its just all part of the healing process. 

I hope you have a better week. Try not to get yourself too upset over his behavior....it just sinks you lower. Remember....you can only control what you do not what others do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

> I feel like I re-trained my brain not to think about him all the time anymore. For about 6 weeks, every time I would think about him, I would hold up a mental stop sign in my brain and tell myself to just STOP...then I would think about someone else, say a pray for someone else, or get up and do something. I don't try to figure him out, and I don't sit at home and analyze every action or inaction he does.
> 
> It was hard to do this...and I had some relapses throughout.. but it has really paid off. My counselor said that what I did was equivalent to training for a marathon. I had just reached the point where I was sad for too long, and I was growing into a bitter, angry person. I had to do something to change my way of thinking....and this worked for me. I am in such a good place


I think this is brilliant, JPR.


----------



## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> I am FUMING today ladies. I was taking daughter to Westfield shopping centre which is on the London Underground - got three stops along and then it was suspended so we were all chucked off
> 
> the stop happened to be the one closest to H's new flat so I phoned him (as he's supposed to be coming round today to pick up more stuff) and said that if he was going to the house could he drop us back?
> 
> ...


Wow, Dolly! You're right, what a jerk!


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

got a txt today saying 'sorry I couldn't help out yesterday but it was a bit tricky...'

clearly he thinks he's been married to total moron for the last 10 years!

yes I can read between the lines d*ckhead, stop with your faux-cryptic ****e and grow a pair!


----------



## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

hey dolly whos the guy in your pic? hes kinda hot


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

he's my ex....no seriously

check my signature - I've had to put it on permanent loop as so many of you are asking


----------



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Melissa, I haven't had much say in a lot of the BIG decisions in our lives yet he insists I controlled it all! I think he is too immature and when I look at some of my options out there I really wonder about wanting to stay away from anyone even close to him.
> 
> I don't want him back unless he is a totally different person and my children don't want him back as a 'dad' either right now. I want a guy like so many of them on here... Bandit, Out of the Blue, Proud, etc I want a man who is done living their childhood. I want a man to be a man, to take care of me ... put me in my place when needed and cuddle me when I needed but not be to macho to let me do the same.
> 
> ...


Oh, mama, I could have written that entire post. Coming here to TAM has really helped my have some faith in men again. I thought my STBXH was special and not like every other 'man.' I had a he11 of a time getting to trust him, and I'm basically in exactly the life I never wanted - late 40's, single mom with a young child, my life was all about us and now I have to start over. Who will want me? I feel like nobody will want what I have to offer. 
He was just here to sign the tax forms and wants to push the divorce again. I know that means he had an especially good weekend with the OW. 
But I'm going to take a big step. I did sign up for 3 free accounts on dating sites: match, ******* and plenty of fish. Have had responses on all 3, esp *******. Several local guys have written that they loved what I wrote in my profile, all have kids and they want to get together for coffee. I think I will try to make a date. I don't NEED a man in order to live -- I've been managing just fine getting things done around my house, but I would like to have an intimate connection with someone. 

I'm reading a book now (A book? Ha -- I've got about 12 self-help books I'm reading right now!) called "All Men Are Jerks (Until Proven Otherwise)". It is not about bashing men, it's about how women make wrong choices because we want to trust and believe what we hear when we're told nice things and treated romantically. It tells women to give 'nice guys' more of a chance and not to rush for the sweet-talkers and flower-givers. Take it slow and be wary. I recommend it from what I've read so far. 

Hang in there, Mama! You must be doing something right to have kids that care about you so much! And I've been debating the whole FB thing, too. I never send anything to him, but when I posted pics of our son and I when we went snowshoeing last week, he did 'like' two of them -- one being a pic of me and our son together. It's sad, but that got me all analytical: why did he do that? he could have just 'liked' the ones of our son alone, or of the scenery? Pathetic, I know. I just leave my friends list & account alone. OW is still on my friend list, too, believe it or not. I don't really care. I figure if she sees me being active, doing things with friends, posting funny things, etc., it should put a seed of doubt in her mind about what STBXH has probably been telling her about me. I will soon have enough guts to post the 'I pray for you' video on it. 

Believe in yourself, Mama -- you're a great woman! ((hugs!))


----------



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> he's my ex....no seriously
> 
> check my signature - I've had to put it on permanent loop as so many of you are asking


Was he Kirstin Dunst's husband in Melancholia?


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Was he Kirstin Dunst's husband in Melancholia?


indeed he was


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> I do know that there are lots of good, strong, loving men out there. You are the three I interact w/ the most right now ... but there have been others (don't take that wrong ). I just know that there are so many men who have been through so much and yet still want their family units together and want their wife to be their partner for life. Like JayB, SD, so many...


I'm proud to be a member of your TAM male harem Momma.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I am 3 for 6 (3 horrible panic attacks in 6 days). I thought I had gotten past this. They were horrible. 

For the last two Tuesdays my stbxh has been pulling out money and my bills aren't getting paid. He is going out of town and has also gone to the zoo on a Friday and not w/ his KIDS! 

Seriously he has seen his youngest 3 kids 2x in a month. Each time he came to drive them to their practice hand them to coaches, then drive them home 2 hours total. BUT HE WENT TO THE ZOO W/SOMEONE ELSE! How can he think he is a daddy when he doesn't ever spend time w/ them. Four hours in 4 wks! 

He did call and ask about my mother (something happened to her) yesterday and it gave me a little hope. He likes all my stuff on FB now that he friended me (again) and I know he is checking on my status...but yet he is not interested in me. 

I just finished a profile on Match. I need to work on it and add more photos, but somebody here inspired me to go for it. I need an adult male just to talk to if nothing else... but boy do I miss that something else!


----------



## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

Mama - I'm really sorry about the panic attacks; that must be really frightening. Forgive me if this has already been asked and answered, but have you gotten any kind of legal help? It's just not right that he's leaving you struggling to feed your kids and pay your bills  I'd be panicking too. It's a horrible feeling to have responsibility, but not have any control.


----------



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

I agree with OldGirl --there should be a way you can get some help. Can you pull some money aside and start your own checking account, too? Keep an emergency fund that he doesn't know about. If his debit card gets declined, he won't be able to get money, but you'll still have some. I've had to start doing things like that to set up an emergency 'slush' fund. I also straight out told STBXH that I refused to pay for restaurant charges that were not for us or his son. That it was really tacky to expect me to pay for his dates. If he needs 'spending money,' he can find other ways to get it (like, maybe, a job?!). 

Definitely start setting money aside for you and the kids when you can --even if it's just a few dollars here and there. I seeded mine with birthday money from my relatives.  It will give you a little peace of mind. Hang in there, Mama!


----------



## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had a panic attack in the middle of the night last night. It woke me up. I didn't take a xanax before bed because the night before I woke up at 2 am and the room was spinning. I was so dizzy and figured it was from the xanax.
I agree with the idea of putting money aside. That is ridiculous that you are paying for his outings. 
I browsed the Match site and my teenage daughter found out. I was just looking. I am no where near ready to start dating. She flipped out on me thinking I'm going to replace 'daddy'. Oh the things I would love to tell her about her father. I have to bite my tongue.
I hope you have a better day today.


----------



## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Mama i agree with the others put money aside, it so important. and on a side note im starting to try to put together my little bio for match.com, im getting excited


----------



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

jenny123 said:


> I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had a panic attack in the middle of the night last night. It woke me up. I didn't take a xanax before bed because the night before I woke up at 2 am and the room was spinning. I was so dizzy and figured it was from the xanax.
> I agree with the idea of putting money aside. That is ridiculous that you are paying for his outings.
> I browsed the Match site and my teenage daughter found out. I was just looking. I am no where near ready to start dating. She flipped out on me thinking I'm going to replace 'daddy'. Oh the things I would love to tell her about her father. I have to bite my tongue.
> I hope you have a better day today.


Jenny -- 'Private Browsing' is your friend.  I use it more and more now that DS is getting more 'net savvy. If you use Firefox, just go to Tools, then you'll see Start Private Browsing.

And another thing -- since I know none of us are rich: if you use Upromise, sign up through them for Match.com, and they'll put 30% of your fee in your account. Or if you use the cashback sites, Fatwallet.com gives you 35% cash back, MrRebates.com has a 20% off coupon AND 30% cashback. I used them and got the cheapest pay subscription. AFter the discount and cashback, it ends up less than $10/month. You get a lot more features when you pay. ******* seems to have more free features.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Jenny -- 'Private Browsing' is your friend.  I use it more and more now that DS is getting more 'net savvy. If you use Firefox, just go to Tools, then you'll see Start Private Browsing.
> 
> And another thing -- *since I know none of us are rich: if you use Upromise, sign up through them for Match.com, and they'll put 30% of your fee in your account. Or if you use the cashback sites, Fatwallet.com gives you 35% cash back, MrRebates.com has a 20% off coupon AND 30% cashback. I used them and got the cheapest pay subscription. AFter the discount and cashback, it ends up less than $10/month. You get a lot more features when you pay. ******* seems to have more free features*.


Man I wish I would have known that. I did an impulsive thing last night and bought myself a gift of 3 months. I just want to flirt... I think. I shouldn't have done it. I got Ims, emails and winks right away and took some meds so I could sleep and not stay up all night thinking of the fun possibilities coming my way.

Pof.com is a free dating site too, my daughter said her friends use it.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

jenny123 said:


> I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had a panic attack in the middle of the night last night. It woke me up. I didn't take a xanax before bed because the night before I woke up at 2 am and the room was spinning. I was so dizzy and figured it was from the xanax.
> I agree with the idea of putting money aside. That is ridiculous that you are paying for his outings.
> I browsed the Match site and my teenage daughter found out. I was just looking. I am no where near ready to start dating. She flipped out on me thinking I'm going to replace 'daddy'. Oh the things I would love to tell her about her father. I have to bite my tongue.
> I hope you have a better day today.


I haven't had any effects like that w/ xanax, I just try to save them for when I need it, I just haven't been using them fast enough and the panic gets to me and builds. As soon as I can start running again it will get better (I hope). 

My kids are currently encouraging me to date so I am very grateful for that. They are tired of seeing me alone/lonely and know that I deserve to have adult fun too. How old is your daughter? Did you choose to leave or did your H end your marriage?


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

mama I'm so sorry you've had the panic attacks...Its the worst. 
As for the money situation, I really think it might be time to watch out for yourself and not let your H have so much say in what he leaves for you and doesnt. I tried the same...having a joint acct and him promising to leave a certain amt for us...didnt last at all...he started taking more and more....then taking what I had paid bills with causing them to be rejected....then even did a stop pmt on my cable bill. What about opening another acct in just your name and telling your H that you are going to take a certain amt for the bills each payday or month before he can spend it on other things.
Or maybe just time to go for court ordered child support? Then you don't have to go through seeing how he is spending the money and knowing what a jerk he's being. 
Hugs...take care of you


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Thanks for the advice. I am really looking at getting the retainer (or a cheaper lawyer). 

I am feeling really foolish setting up the match.com profile. I think I did it for validation, which is the wrong reason. Dang it. I hate spending money on me like this


----------



## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Mama it ok to spend some money on yourself- you sacrifice for everyone else, you deserve it. Nothing wrong either for a little boost in self-confidence ( at least in my eyes- and i may be shot down for that) its nice to know that you are still attractive to other men out there, its not like you went out and did something-


----------



## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

I'm sorry about your panic attacks. Just keep remembering. One day. One day...........

I think online dating, or dating in general, is easier for women than men. I haven't dated in years, so what do I know?

Have fun. Reply to who you want to. 

Take a breath. You will make it.


----------



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Validation is very nice when so much has been stripped away from us. Even though I haven't responded to anyone yet, I have gotten some nice messages. It gives me a feeling of hope for the future. 
Besides -- doesn't match have that guarantee that if you don't find someone in 6 months you get another 6 months free?


And -- another nice thing about setting up a profile is that it forces you to describe yourself, which may not be easy if you haven't had a 'self' for a while. You have to look at what _you_ like as far as things you like to you, music, movies & TV _you_ like, even sexy-time things if you choose to. That's kind of empowering, actually. You don't have to choose based on what he'll like (whether that's the STBXH or a new guy). Choose the new guy based on what he already has in common with you. I find that part of it kind of exciting.


----------



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> what an A*SEHOLE


You're too kind.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Jayb said:


> I'm sorry about your panic attacks. Just keep remembering. One day. One day...........
> 
> I think online dating, or dating in general, is easier for women than men. I haven't dated in years, so what do I know?
> 
> ...


Thanks. I am trying to remember all of that. 

Btw I haven't dated as an adult (other than w/ my husband) we married young. Last time I dated someone other than him I was 15 and I know things are different now esp as adults.

If we could just totally cut the strings totally.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Validation is very nice when so much has been stripped away from us. Even though I haven't responded to anyone yet, I have gotten some nice messages. It gives me a feeling of hope for the future.
> Besides -- doesn't match have that guarantee that if you don't find someone in 6 months you get another 6 months free?
> 
> 
> And -- another nice thing about setting up a profile is that it forces you to describe yourself, which may not be easy if you haven't had a 'self' for a while. You have to look at what _you_ like as far as things you like to you, music, movies & TV _you_ like, even sexy-time things if you choose to. That's kind of empowering, actually. You don't have to choose based on what he'll like (whether that's the STBXH or a new guy). Choose the new guy based on what he already has in common with you. I find that part of it kind of exciting.


I wasn't sure what the guarantee was. So thanks for that info. It really was hard to describe myself. I will probably re-write it I must put it up there to get it done before I chickened out. 

You are right it's exciting. But it's also frightening the whole idea of someone being out of my league fear etc.


----------



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

mama there is NOTHING wrong with doing something for you. It's more than ok...its good for you! You deserve it. Even if you're not ready to date it always feels good to have someone tell you how special you are especially when the person who you want to be doing it is doing just the opposite.
You're such a sweet person and you deserve some fun and happiness.


----------



## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> I haven't had any effects like that w/ xanax, I just try to save them for when I need it, I just haven't been using them fast enough and the panic gets to me and builds. As soon as I can start running again it will get better (I hope).
> 
> My kids are currently encouraging me to date so I am very grateful for that. They are tired of seeing me alone/lonely and know that I deserve to have adult fun too. How old is your daughter? Did you choose to leave or did your H end your marriage?


My daughter is 16. We don't talk about what's going on at all. She gets very defensive, not towards her father, but she just doesn't want to hear anything about it, like she's in denial. Yet, she does occasionally tell me to "get over it" . Yes she can be disrepectful. 
My H told me 5 weeks ago that he isn't happy and not in love with me. I tried to get him to go to counseling and he refuses. Havent spoken to him in weeks. He's still in the house, but looking for a place to move. I wake up everyday hoping it is all a terrible nightmare.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

jenny123 said:


> My daughter is 16. We don't talk about what's going on at all. She gets very defensive, not towards her father, but she just doesn't want to hear anything about it, like she's in denial. Yet, she does occasionally tell me to "get over it" . Yes she can be disrepectful.
> My H told me 5 weeks ago that he isn't happy and not in love with me. I tried to get him to go to counseling and he refuses. Havent spoken to him in weeks. He's still in the house, but looking for a place to move. I wake up everyday hoping it is all a terrible nightmare.


I work w/ that age of kids. They struggle w/ this kind of change. I have two books that my kids therapist suggested 
Helping Children Cope with Divorce, Revised and Updated Edition by Edward Teyber 

and 

Difficult Questions Kids Ask and Are Afraid to Ask About Divorce by Meg F. Schneider 

My kids are all handling it differently but I can say that they know who is ending this marriage and it wasn't me. Most of them know that we as mom/kids family can do anything (survive and come out okay). Just try to keep open communications open. I have done several things wrong according to the authors but I am only human. I lean on my adult kids for support and they have been great most of the time. It's hard when we are trying to heal and have to worry about the kids when the wayward spouse doesn't seem to be in touch w/ reality or their children.


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

my D is 15 and has been rejected by her biological dad and now the same appears to be happening with her stepdad. She's finding it really difficult and uncomfortable and he's whining because she isn't texting him - rather than just being a human being and manning up he's offended because she's not jumping for joy whenever she sees him

I feel desperately guilty that my ability to pick total a*seholes is likely to have given her serious daddy issues


----------



## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> Thanks for the advice. I am really looking at getting the retainer (or a cheaper lawyer).
> 
> I am feeling really foolish setting up the match.com profile. I think I did it for validation, which is the wrong reason. Dang it. I hate spending money on me like this


Don't be thinking that way Mama, you need to spend money on yourself sometimes, we all do. You, like every other parent spends on the kids or food, spend a little on yourself. And, hey, spending on a dating sites is not the worse thing you can spend it on. You need the validation that you are a good person who would make any man happy. So feel good about the winks and the emails, if it doesn't lead to anything, it was at least uplifting.

keep me posting on the dating site thing.

btw, who did he take to the zoo anyway...that's freaking mean not to take his kids...grrr


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> I am feeling really foolish setting up the match.com profile. I think I did it for validation, which is the wrong reason. Dang it. I hate spending money on me like this


Don't feel foolish. People date to have fun and romance because those things make people happy. It's not only validation, but also companionship -- and there's not a thing wrong with seeking it. Go on and have a good time!


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

moxy said:


> Don't feel foolish. People date to have fun and romance because those things make people happy. It's not only validation, but also companionship -- and there's not a thing wrong with seeking it. Go on and have a good time!


yes, ma'am I will... well... kind of...
I actually realized I thought I was more ready than I was. I am enjoying friendship but that's all I want. I don't want someone to talk about 'work' with (another teacher) or 'kids' with(another mom) I just want to talk to a man and see what on Earth they want and expect from us and I want to know that I am not a horrible person like my stbx has made me feel.... I need someone to just gently hold my hand through this. 

I felt like I needed my problem solved now... which is not the way to go about things, but I am a problem solver, so I need new tactics and am looking into them. 

Thanks for not making me feel rash or wrong for doing this.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

Mama, I think you are amazing. You are so strong & courageous. You have the balls to go out there & try, you've at least dipped your toe in the water. I believe you will find what you want, not because you are looking but because you are open to it. I think it will happen when you least expect it. But in the meantime you can have lots of fun just interating, flirting and sharing with those you meet. Dont be so hard on yourself! You wouldn't let us do it!! Xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> I actually realized I thought I was more ready than I was. I am enjoying friendship but that's all I want....I just want to talk to a man and see what on Earth they want and expect from us and I want to know that I am not a horrible person like my stbx has made me feel....


That's an interesting distinction. Part of you feels ready to move on and consider possibilities of romance, adventure, and love, but, there is probably also a part of you that associates all of those things with commitment and being taken for granted and being made to felt unworthy despite big promises (which is what the ex did, right?). Remember that dating doesn't need to be about finding a life partner in this instant. It's not an arranged marriage or "The Bachelor", even though the media would have us believe that the only thing women want is a permanent connection. Dating can also be about just having fun and going out with people -- companionship, flirtation, possibility, and even just "benefits". As long as no one is leading anyone else on, it's all okay. Do you think you're uncertain about your readiness to date or date with an eye toward long-term commitment? Remember that when it's just dating, you can be free to be casual, have multiple dates with multiple people, and not worry about obligation to anything other than courtesy. It can be just about fun and not all serious and partnered. 

Personally, I know I'm not ready to "date" because I can't imagine anyone in my life but stbxh. My head and body have let go, but my heart hasn't and I wouldn't enjoy dating, so I don't right now. I get enough flirtation to last me a while, but dating is not in the cards for me. You don't sound like you're in that zone....so I'd suggest looking at why you're not sure you're ready because it might uncover some insight into your own experience and development through this. 

You sound like a fun person with a rich life and I think that adding dimensions to that fun in whatever way appeals to you is a fine course of action to take.


----------



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I did it!! I have the money for the retainer (about 5k) and I have my first appointment next week with my lawyer!! YES!!! 

Oh and I opened a bank account away from him and am just waiting to talk to lawyer about changing my pay into my new acct. I want to have this done and over.

Btw no contact to the kids for 2 wks (last time he did that it was 3 wks. I'd almost think it would happen again except I am betting he will at least call next wkd when our youngest celebrates a birthday). Yep, he's the father of the year!!


----------



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Good for you Mama!! There is light at the end of the tunnel at last! (And this time it isn't an oncoming train, LOL)


----------



## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

Woohoo! So glad you are able to move forward now.


----------



## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Yea Mama!


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> I did it!! I have the money for the retainer (about 5k) and I have my first appointment next week with my lawyer!! YES!!!
> 
> Oh and I opened a bank account away from him and am just waiting to talk to lawyer about changing my pay into my new acct. I want to have this done and over.
> 
> Btw no contact to the kids for 2 wks (last time he did that it was 3 wks. I'd almost think it would happen again except I am betting he will at least call next wkd when our youngest celebrates a birthday). Yep, he's the father of the year!!


Well done Mama!! The struggles we endure today are developing into our strength of tomorrow xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

