# Does a SAHM need a nap?



## ticktack (Jun 5, 2020)

I work a 6 hr day from home. And my wife, a SAHM of a 4 yr old and 2 yr old is always trying to shorten my work day and tells me how exhausted she is & that she needs a nap & more time off.

She's a great mom, very hands on, loves our kids... works hard at parenting.

But, man oh man... I have a business that I run with employees, etc. I thought I was ninja enough to have the current schedule that I do (which isn't enough).

Also, I don't have hobbies. If I'm not working, I'm parenting (or fixing something). We have cleaners, yard care, grocery delivery, etc. Kids have a playroom, toys toys & more toys. And, I just got them a trampoline the other day.

nap?! (which she gets most days)

I generally have the kids for 1 hr solo before work & another 2 hrs solo after work. No naps for me. Stack of work 2 miles high! And, I know the company suffers because of my lack of availability.

She doesn't want a nanny or babysitters. (fair enough, I don't really want a nanny raising our kids either).

I get being exhausted... I'm exhausted (I'm sure you can tell). But I caffeinate up and soldier on.

I'm also the guy who pays bills, handles investments, keeps cars insured, medical insurance, puts gas in the cars, feeds/cleans up for pets & changes toilet paper rolls.

We made a conscious effort to free up her schedule so she was just responsible for kids & laundry. Wanted to make sure she could give her best to our kids throughout the early years of their life. I didn't think it would require naps.

I don't think I really expect anything out of this post, other than I don't have a safe place to rant.

Love my wife and family... just feeling burnt out and unappreciated.

thanks everyone


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

How are things otherwise?

Are you planning on having more children?

Easy for me to say from my vantage point, but soon they'll be off to school, and life will have new challenges and blessings. Nothing lasts forever, particularly with growing children. Hang tough, and love each other.


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## ticktack (Jun 5, 2020)

OnTheFly said:


> How are things otherwise?
> 
> Are you planning on having more children?
> 
> Easy for me to say from my vantage point, but soon they'll be off to school, and life will have new challenges and blessings. Nothing lasts forever, particularly with growing children. Hang tough, and love each other.


no more kids... I'm done. They're awesome, but I need some balance restored.

As for the wife and I. Overall we're good, just a bit worn out. I wish she understood my stress, just as I'm sure she wish I understood her exhaustion

thx


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

ticktack said:


> no more kids... I'm done. They're awesome, *but I need some balance restored.*
> 
> As for the wife and I. Overall we're good, just a bit worn out. I wish she understood my stress, just as I'm sure she wish I understood her exhaustion
> 
> thx


Don't we all, lol!

I feel ya!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Yes, they need a nap. That said, there is no reason she can't put the kids down for a nap when she takes hers. That's what my mom did.

Have to say, though, your wife has it really easy with all of the help she is getting. Has she been to her doctor for a check-up lately?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ticktack said:


> no more kids... I'm done. They're awesome, but I need some balance restored.
> 
> As for the wife and I. Overall we're good, just a bit worn out. I wish she understood my stress, just as I'm sure she wish I understood her exhaustion
> 
> thx


What time do the children go to bed? Do they wake up during the night and need her to take care of things?

How is your wife's health? Does she have any kind of exercise routine?

Do your children take naps. At their ages they should. When I've taken care of children that age, they can be exhausting. But I always put them down for a nap and if I felt that I needed one too, that's when I napped.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Hell yes she needs a nap.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

“Marriage is not 50-50. It is 100-100. It isn't dividing everything in half but giving everything you've got.” I don’t know who to attribute that to.

My wife and I both need naps (not happening) and we don’t even have kids.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

The short answer is that everyone is different as to what they can or will deal with. That relentless toddler energy can wipe you out for sure. If she wants a nap then the time to do that is when they nap. You shouldn’t be shortening your workday even more than you already do considering the amount of help she has.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Yes, she likely needs a nap. But so do you sometimes I'm sure.

Is there a way you can nap when she does? You both put the kids down for a nap and then take one too? It might be possible if you tweak your work day a little?


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

We all need a nap, but hardly any of us gets it. You have work to do with no nap breaks. She can do it too.

I don't think she appreciates how much work you have to do. I work and take care of all the bills, and kids before and after school. no naps here


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I think everyone is different, I have never had naps in the middle of the day no matter how hard things were even with working, handling the home and kids. I was brought up this way. In our household day napping was just not done and considered lazy. (My husband and in laws day nap all the time  )
However, I think your wife needs to be clued in on the amount of work you are carrying and need to get done to sustain the family. Those 3 extra hours could be focused on the business. Sit her down and talk with her. If necessary have a part time nanny though I think it is not necessary. Toddlers are very tiring for sure and she will need a break but not every day. 
Have the kids been trained to go to bed at age appropriate times for example. Do the kids nap too much during the day?
Sit down and discuss with your wife, show her how important it is for your business and your mental health too.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

My W takes a 20 minute nap/rest just about on the daily. My W is a SAHM. Our kids are grown but she is still a mom no matter the time or place. However, we have 3 other kids that run on all four and require to be looked after daily. Two cracked headed parrots. A 4 bedroom house that needs attending. Laundry. Food shopping. Food prep and cooking. You name it. Most days my W is busier then me! Sure, I fix things. Yard work. Bill handling. Car care and repair. Work 9 hours a day. I get no nap. Just the way it is. But, when I get home my day is pretty much done. I help with the pets. Sometimes cook dinner to give my W a break(or take her out). However, my W day continues on into the night caring for it all. My W is more than welcome to take that 20 minute snooze.


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