# Incredibly Hard



## Incognitoisme2013 (Nov 4, 2013)

Two weeks separated. Divorce came out of left field. I'm so paranoid that my ex will see this, although I have absolutely no reason in the world to think that. I'm devasted and trying to do everything I should be doing as far as taking care of myself, but this is so much harder than I ever thought it could be. Even thought it's been two weeks, it feels like I'm just having a bad dream and I'll wake up and have my life back.

I didn't even get to say goodbye when we last talked because I thought we'd be talking again, no matter what the decision was. The marriage was short, but I always thought we would get counseling if it ever got to the point of either person wanting to leave. I feel totally blindsided. 

I cry at inappropriate times. I'm so angry and hurt. I don't want to get out of bed. I just want this to be over. My life feels like it will never be my own again. I wish, I wish, I wish . . . . My grandfather used to say if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. I would have a freaking stable of horses for all the wishes I've made.

I hate this.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Divorce is hard no matter how you look at it. Try to avoid going places you would run into your X at. Try finding things to do to help you pass the time. Don't get caught up in drama of everyone else's lives. Just focus on the good positive things. If you have any hobbies go do those things. Do you have any friends. If so hang out with them. Spend time with your family. 


I know its hard but you will get better each day. 

Clay


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

How long were you married?


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## HD1970 (Aug 26, 2013)

Sorry to hear about your situation. I basically went through a similar deal a little better than 3 months ago. Separated for now with no idea where it will end up. I also understand where you are coming from. Same thing happened to me about a month in. Breaking down out of the blue, very short with people. It sucks. But, what I can tell you is it gets better. Checking this forum out has been really helpful for me. Like Clay said try to keep busy with and pass the time. re-connect with friends, see family. Take up a hobby. Or get back into a hobby you once had. I have done a lot of these things myself. The pain, hurt, anger are still there (I am trying to work on these)but I think they're more in the background as opposed to "in your face" all the time. I've done a bit of reading on this subject as well, which has helped. It still difficult at times when I am by myself at home but it is a lot better now than it was at the start of our separation. Keep trying to move forward.


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## Incognitoisme2013 (Nov 4, 2013)

We were married a little over a year. Thanks for the replies. I guess I just need to put my head down and plow through. I am looking forward to getting back to some hobbies I haven't had the time or money for. Sometimes I feel like I'm almost ready to let go a little bit, and that scares the **** out of me. I guess it'll happen in its own time.

I'm very sorry for everyone who's going through this, but it really does help to know you're not alone.


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## backik (Mar 12, 2009)

You're going through a rough time but it will get better, honestly! I've been separated for over 3 months - let me tell you it's been really rough. Frankly I felt like a hot mess for quite some time but recently life seems to feel a little easier. Sleeping and eating routines are getting back to normal. It takes time to adjust.

What REALLY helps (like a few people mentioned) are hobbies and making an effort to spend time with family and friends. Having a support system and interests that take your mind of things are invaluable lifesavers during this time. Cannot stress this enough. Without my circle of friends, activities and my journal I'd probably still be crying everyday still. When you feel like it's becoming too difficult don't be afraid to get a little therapy to help sort things out. Try your very best to take care of yourself. Eating a meal or doing simple chores will seem like impossible tasks. 

Keep your head up and think about things that you're interested in but haven't had the guts to try. Then take a leap of faith! :smthumbup:


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