# is my husband gay



## redrose (Nov 7, 2008)

hi all 
i would like to know what you think well i will start of by telling you that in a mom of 4 kids 3 from my first marrige and 1 from my current marrige i met my husband on line i lived in ny and he lived in italy after a year of talking i desided to move to puerto rico and thats when he desided to come visit me and he did this for 2 years and i became pregnant and in 2005 we got marride very simple and i was happy so was he bu t could not live without him beacuse he was still going back to italy beacuse of work and immigration was taking to long so he told me to move to italy so i said yes we got a house and i made the big step in moving to italy the first year i was here i became very depresed and angry for taking that step but i guess love makes you do stupid things last year i was going to read my e mail and inswted i opened my husbands email i was curious i know it was wrong but i did it but i didnt see anything wrong 
when i went to see his contacts i saw that he had an email that was painempire for me it was strange so i desided to see if i could open it and i did it was easy beacuse he used my name as the password and what i found was terrible for me he was login on to a s&m sites and gay and lesbian sites and i see that he was looking up gay men that lived ib brescia italy thats it where i we live and he wrote to them and and a few answered him back and there was one that he wore him and told him that if they can meet and and the guy said yes and at the end of the email my husband told this guy that when he told him that the whole thing is over that not to ask questions. i was so angry that i called my husband with so much rage and asked him if he was gay and at that point he knew that i had see the emails and accounts and he deleted everything before he came home 30 minutes later and he told me that it was all a joke he just wanted to see how far it would have went with these men that he was not really going to meet them he wanted to play with there minds he begged me not to leave him and cryed and so im still here i guess you can say i forgave him but its still in my heart. he always comes straight home from work when he is not working we do everything with each other but this dosent mean that he could be doing something online or at lunch time beacuse he never comes on to me in bed he never touch me when ever we have sex is beacuse im so h rny that i cant take it anymore so i start everything and this happends like every 2 to 3 weeks so i always wonder is my husband gay so please tell me what you think thank you


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## magicsunset08 (Oct 30, 2008)

I my honest opinion, yes. I don't know why you would look at gay material and contact gay men, if at the very least you had an interest. and in most cases, when someone is interested they eventually partake in the act at some point. However I am no specialist or therpist just a normal guy who digs women only.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i spent time within the gay community some years ago- 
ok i wasnt sure who i was at the time ( circumstances at the time)
but a lot of the men i met and knew some were married with children.
in your case you have actually found evidence.i agree with magicsunset08 in the fact that if someone is interested they usually partake in the act at somepoint.
but there is definately more going on with your H.
and to delete everything - says an awful lot.
im no specialist either.
you either need to really delve into his whereabouts or stay in a marriage, where he could be putting you at risk.
especially as your stil having sex, regardless of how often.
men in this place in their head are often quite promiscuous.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

No, your hubby is not gay, but he is clearly attracted to both sexes. However, although a lot of men are turned on by men to some extent, very few act on it, if they are actually married. In the UK, over 30% of men have had a same sex experience by the time they are 40.


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## butazez (Aug 19, 2008)

He's not gay, but he is more than likely bisexual. Wait, I'll go out on a limb here and say he's Bi. I hope, for your sake, that he will be a little more truthful about the issue with you. Good luck.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i think he's gay. he's trying to meet with other men and never comes on to you.


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## brad (Jul 31, 2008)

I also think he's gay but not ready to admit it even to himself. This is normal in the process. I dont believe in this bisexual stuff either. You will find out in the future when it rears it's ugly head again.


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## magicsunset08 (Oct 30, 2008)

In a relationship with the opposite sex, does it matter if he is gay or bi? Unless you are ok with him being "bi" it would all be the same wouldn't it?


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## butazez (Aug 19, 2008)

Magic, I think the issue is that this is something she learned about well into the relationship -- after the move and other sacrifices she did for him. If she had known in the beginning, I'm pretty certain it will factor into her decisions.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

if i was the other dude, i'd be disappointed if there was a woman in his life. i guess i'm voting "gay."


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## bhappy3 (Feb 4, 2008)

Gay, Bi, whatever, there is a clear interest in men. Whoever said it, you're right... he may not even have admitted it to himself yet. To hear the word gay in association with himself is something he's not prepared to hear yet. To toy around with it without the label makes him feel like he's not. Deleting the emails... I think that speaks volumes. To use your name as the password is like his reassurance that he doesn't have that "label". good luck


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## redrose (Nov 7, 2008)

hello everyone
i would like to thank everyone for all your thoughts and opinions 
i will take it all in to heart and really think about my future and my family thank you again


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