# Whips and Chains



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Well I posted a thread called "dominance" and several people complained that it wasn't about whips and chains - so this one is >

What sort of play do people like:

Role playing for the atmosphere? Real pain? Forced sex? Humiliation? 

In addition to simple prurient interest, from talking with people I've found that there is a LOT more variety than I had imagined. One friend told me that she is a masochist - but she enjoys this play because it makes her feel tough that she can resist the pain. That is almost opposite of the "hurt me, beat me, make me do naughty things" concept.

What do you like to do to your partner or have done to you?

Though I don't get to engage in it, my personal favorite is variations on forced orgasm play in an appropriate scenario. But this may be an obscure kink.

To not drift too far off the point of the board, how do people deal with having very different kinks than their partners - and is this worse when you are both kinky but in different ways?


----------



## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I have control issues so there will be no whip and chains. Due to a history of childhood abuse. However, if my husband wanted me to try some kind of role playing on him, I am more than happy to do so. I would have no problem whipping his behind, I would love to whip his behind. lol I am always willing to try and so is he. He lets me do whatever I want, no pain. I love that he allows me the freedom to experiment with him. And that he trust me with his body. He knows I will never hurt him. Like he would say, fair play is a bi***.

I think both parties should know what the other wants and what the boundaries are. Then, you can play to your hearts content.


----------



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Sex with socks still on :grin2:


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> Sex with socks still on :grin2:


You soulless monster.


----------



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Cletus said:


> You soulless monster.


Warm Feet, Hotter Sex: Science Proves Sex Is Better With Socks On



> Before the researchers gave their participants socks, only 50 percent of them admitted to having an orgasm. After being given a pair of socks, 80 percent reported reaching an orgasm


----------



## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> Warm Feet, Hotter Sex: Science Proves Sex Is Better With Socks On


:rofl:


----------



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

LonelyinLove said:


> :rofl:


I am sure the same applies to your boots :wink2:


----------



## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> I am sure the same applies to your boots :wink2:


You have no idea how well it applies...:grin2:


----------



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

LonelyinLove said:


> You have no idea how well it applies...:grin2:


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I have a high tolerance for pain and love rough sex. It requires a lot of skill though because even with a high pain tolerance we can still accidentally hurt each other more than we intended to. I like getting thrown around, and throwing him around. It requires some basic lead and follow techniques and a good understanding of each other's bodies and anatomy in general. I don't want to have pulled muscles after a good throwdown.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> What sort of play do people like:
> 
> Role playing for the atmosphere? Real pain? Forced sex? Humiliation?
> 
> ...


The answer is, "way more than I get". On the other hand I've come to the conclusion that being held back, is a fair safety net. My relationship is in such a mess right now that it may not be the best time to tell all. But for an interesting anecdote of when things go sideways . . . . .

One thing my partner is often up for is spanking. She was reluctant to go beyond the hand at first but eventually moved up to custom made paddles that I made for her. This way she can give me enough sting and still be ready for pleasure. 

One day she picked up my favorite belt. A rather substantial piece of full grain leather that is so well used that it is very supple. She gave me some solid lashes and quickly got me to my limit. A few days later I asked what she had thought of that, and if it would be coming back for an encore?

Her reply surprised me. Never again, it triggered a flashback to her childhood. I have to give her good points for finishing the scene.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

the psychologists among us can probably go on at length about the whole dominance - submission activities in the bedroom. then there are the so called kinky or deviant behaviors. So called because what is kinky to one is normal to another. Again, the medico-science types do have all this stuff more or less categorized and identified though the line keeps shifting on what is normal. 

As others have indicated in this thread, the key is that the people involved are open and honest with one another, show genuine care and concern for one another in a trusting environment. And of course all is consensual. But within those boundaries, it can be a wild and fun world of intimacy.

My experience has been that opening that door can lead down so many fascinating paths. To wit, my wife is very ticklish and I get turned on tickling her. But tickling is just one aspect on the spectrum of sensual touching. That leads to all sort of exploration of erotic sensual touching. And of course if one is very sensitive to such touching like my wife is, it is natural to explore restraint so neither she nor I are hurt when I make her crazy with my tickling and other touching. And then enter variations like blindfolds and various bondage positions. And all of this opens the door to control or loss of control and that means getting into use of safe words so she can be pleading and begging for me to stop without really meaning "stop!" And once all of this is going, it is just a matter of time before exploration of things like orgasm denial and slowly, methodically, sensually building to an incredible wowza climax begins. Once the doors are open to this, then the imagination takes off on an endless variety of intimate play. Like shopping together at the local hardware store for things to make homemade bondage in the bedroom or going to the crafts stores together to pick out assorted items to use for tickling and teasing. Paintbrushes come in so many varieties. And then you begin to play various games around all these themes and often discover completely new things about yourselves. For instance, playing a game where she stands with hands clasped behind her head and eyes closed (or blindfolded - the variations are limitless) and I slowly circle her and give little tingling touches here and there and if she moves or makes a sound I give her a little spank on her bare bottom - nothing hard. Well, the first time we did that, we discovered she likes being spanked and so yet another door of exploration opened. 

I could go on at length about what my ticklish wife and I do but what we do is not the point. The point is about the attitude of being open to explore whatever the desires and passions of the two people are in the intimacy of their own sharing. And all of this gets into the realm of dominance and submission and the infinite flavors of sadism and masochism. And you can either embrace that stuff fully or never speak of it at all but just enjoy whatever gets the two of you turned on. The problems usually lie in a lack of openness and trust and one partner not really listening to the other.

If my wife absolutely hated being tickled, I wouldn't tickle her. It is finding the boundaries for one another and sharing those and being open to what your partner wants. Spanking is not a big thing for me, but she rather loves it so I spank her. I'm sure there are those who will read this and get all frantic about spanking or tickling or bondage. Not the point. The point is exploring what does get you off and sharing that with your partner and understanding the same about his or her passions. I think there is a little bdsm in all of us. For some it is so mild as to be almost invisible and for some it is dungeons and leather and chains and the whole nine yards. It's all good in the proper context.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Things to do with a car battery, sponge, jumper cables and some water.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Yeswecan said:


> Things to do with a car battery, sponge, jumper cables and some water.


wasn't that a scene is some movie?


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Maneo said:


> wasn't that a scene is some movie?



Rambo.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

good evening
A car battery is only 12V. Not going to be all that exciting even through wet skin. 

There are of course devices made for this purpose that will do a much better job.....




Yeswecan said:


> Things to do with a car battery, sponge, jumper cables and some water.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> good evening
> A car battery is only 12V. Not going to be all that exciting even through wet skin.
> 
> There are of course devices made for this purpose that will do a much better job.....


like perhaps a violet wand?:wink2:


----------



## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> Sex with socks still on :grin2:


I've seen you Ellis. Years ago saw some very old stag reels with a guy wearing black socks and a Kato mask.

Very good performance by the way.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

EllisRedding said:


> Sex with socks still on :grin2:


You're down with business time.


----------



## LostinNE (Aug 31, 2015)

EllisRedding said:


> Sex with socks still on :grin2:


Absolutely disgusting!!! You should be banned for making a post so revolting.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> good evening
> 
> A car battery is only 12V. Not going to be all that exciting even through wet skin.
> 
> ...



It's not the volts. It's the amps. I can easily hold my horse fence. 10,000 volts, less than half an amp.


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Restraints, blindfolds, spanking, pegging, orgasm denial.. sigh.

I can't walk through Dom Depot without getting giddy. So many memories triggered by the rope aisle alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> I am sure the same applies to your boots :wink2:


*Let's just say that if the spirit ever moved me "to take" my lady out in the confines of the cattle corral, then I most assuredly will have my boots on!

And it might even give the cows a laugh or two!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Its the current you feel. Skin has pretty high electrical resistivity so you need a fair bit of voltage to get enough current to notice. 

Half an amp is a lot - maybe the horse fence automatically reduces the current to keep from killing things? The 10KV is to make sure there is enough voltage to make the current flow. 




WorkingOnMe said:


> It's not the volts. It's the amps. I can easily hold my horse fence. 10,000 volts, less than half an amp.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> good evening
> A car battery is only 12V. Not going to be all that exciting even through wet skin.
> 
> There are of course devices made for this purpose that will do a much better job.....





WorkingOnMe said:


> It's not the volts. It's the amps. I can easily hold my horse fence. 10,000 volts, less than half an amp.





richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Its the current you feel. Skin has pretty high electrical resistivity so you need a fair bit of voltage to get enough current to notice.
> 
> Half an amp is a lot - maybe the horse fence automatically reduces the current to keep from killing things? The 10KV is to make sure there is enough voltage to make the current flow.


It is not the electricity....it is the jumper cable clamps on the nipples. :surprise: The water and electricity are for theatrical effect. :laugh:


Yeah...ouch....


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)




----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

good evening
So for those of you who are kinky, do you role play full scenarios (the Inquisition will now determine if the prisoner is a witch....), or just get down to doing stuff.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> good evening
> So for those of you who are kinky, do you role play full scenarios (the Inquisition will now determine if the prisoner is a witch....), or just get down to doing stuff.


We mostly just dress up and play out half the scenario, then start getting it on as ourselves and make "in character" statements now and then through out sex. We find it far too much hassle for not enough fun to actually play out a whole scenario. And even when we are in the role, we break character and make inside jokes a lot. The dressing up is more fun than the roles themselves. We can transform ourselves physically enough to be "different people" and that variety is the fun part. We're both so fun and sexy that changing our characters doesn't make things any sexier, but changing our appearance does. In fact, I just want his usual sexy self as the character, I don't think I would be turned on by any other character during the act.


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> good evening
> So for those of you who are kinky, do you role play full scenarios (the Inquisition will now determine if the prisoner is a witch....), or just get down to doing stuff.


We role play here and there, but it's mostly just us as ourselves.

Last time, I was a warrior Princess and he was my servant. If he didn't do as I said, or grovel correctly, he was "punished". Old middle eastern oil candles, incense, wine, pillows everywhere. It was a good night. 

We've done that one in reverse, too. It's awesome we can explore both roles, except when we're both in sub moods. Then we usually just talk, cuddle, and try again later.

I'm still learning the role play side, though. I was never very theatrical. DH, on the other hand, is quite good at role playing.



Yeswecan said:


> Things to do with a car battery, sponge, jumper cables and some water.





Maneo said:


> wasn't that a scene is some movie?





Yeswecan said:


> Rambo.


And Lethal Weapon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1379iTSyHo


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Random note re: playing dress up....I found these temporary lip tattoos and they are AWESOME! They stay on even through major heavy kissing and are in amazing styles and colors you simply cannot get from any lipstick or cosmetics. And they have a very glossy look, not matte like other fake tattoos.

Violent Lips | Violent Lips

One note though, I bought some in a leopard print and they just looked like a diseased or dead person when put on. 

Had much better luck with the glitter ones.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> good evening
> So for those of you who are kinky, do you role play full scenarios (the Inquisition will now determine if the prisoner is a witch....), or just get down to doing stuff.


We role play some but pretty quickly the passion takes over and we just get down to business. Sometimes she likes to act the Domme part but I just start laughing at her commands. Just not in my DNA to be the submissive one. 

We also like a sort of public role play where we are the innocent, straight looking middle class couple at the mall in the store. Only she has inserted a small wireless egg shaped vibrator in her privates and I have the remote control for it in my pocket. Driving her crazy from the inside out. I take her just to the edge of curling into a fetal position or letting out a deep felt moan. So on the outside we are the average boring couple shopping. Just beneath that placid surface she is at my mercy. By the time we head for home her panties are soaked and we are both ready for some intense bedroom time.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Maneo said:


> Only she has inserted a small wireless egg shaped vibrator in her privates and I have the remote control for it in my pocket. Driving her crazy from the inside out. I take her just to the edge of curling into a fetal position or letting out a deep felt moan. .


During date dinner on Valentine's Day I gave the remote to my vibrating egg as present to my husband(egg insterted and ready!). He was mildly curious about it, play a little, and then gave me back the remote once we went to movies and movie was on.

Sigh....


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

To answer the main question - I am much more kinky than my husband. i could go very deep into D/s, but it is not happenng


----------



## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

WandaJ said:


> During date dinner on Valentine's Day I gave the remote to my vibrating egg as present to my husband(egg insterted and ready!). He was mildly curious about it, play a little, and then gave me back the remote once we went to movies and movie was on.
> 
> Sigh....


Wanda, 
That's exactly what my ex would have done. He would have been confused by the whole thing. Partly why he's the "ex".


----------



## Sarantonio (Sep 24, 2015)

UGH.. telling on myself.. It's just so silly

We are NOT serious people. We laugh in church, on our wedding day... Thank God we haven't had to attend a funeral together...
SO, role playing doesn't work for us, if he asks me to be a school girl I'll cough loudly and wipe my "boogers" down my arm.. cue laughter
If he is my fireman he throws water in my face.. hysterics..

BUT, big but..

We do like to play this little game when we are out, we say awful random things to each other, like at breakfast he'll say "I thought you were going to pay!" So I'll roll my eyes, grab my purse and half-yell "Last time I meet someone on craigslist!" and storm out... then we laugh about it on the way home and end up boinking ...

I guess laughter is our foreplay. 

He does like to tie me up (and I rather enjoy it, too) but there is always giggling involved.


----------



## Sarantonio (Sep 24, 2015)

WandaJ said:


> During date dinner on Valentine's Day I gave the remote to my vibrating egg as present to my husband(egg insterted and ready!). He was mildly curious about it, play a little, and then gave me back the remote once we went to movies and movie was on.
> 
> Sigh....


This is a good idea! If you've read my initial post you'll know my hubby isn't a fan of toys or anything like this... but I wonder...

To be continued...


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

WandaJ said:


> To answer the main question - I am much more kinky than my husband. i could go very deep into D/s, but it is not happenng


Have you been explicit with your husband about your D/s desires? From what you've shared, sounds like you are on the s side of D/s. Sometimes we guys are dense about such things and need a wake up call. 

Of course if your innate nature is to be submissive in such things what you probably really want is for the man to just take the lead without you having to ask.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
A mismatch in kinkiness can be very frustrating. 




WandaJ said:


> To answer the main question - I am much more kinky than my husband. i could go very deep into D/s, but it is not happenng


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Maneo said:


> Have you been explicit with your husband about your D/s desires? From what you've shared, sounds like you are on the s side of D/s. Sometimes we guys are dense about such things and need a wake up call.
> 
> Of course if your innate nature is to be submissive in such things what you probably really want is for the man to just take the lead without you having to ask.


I tried on serious note, and jokingly, and gave up. But right now we are in a very rocky stage of the marriage, so this is not an option at all.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

WandaJ said:


> I tried on serious note, and jokingly, and gave up. But right now we are in a very rocky stage of the marriage, so this is not an option at all.


sorry to hear about the difficulties. definitely, when the relationship is not going well, it is not the time to push for more D/s in the relationship. Guess your fantasies will have to suffice for now.:frown2:


----------



## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> What sort of play do people like:
> 
> Role playing for the atmosphere?


I like the "atmosphere" part of it. Very early in our marriage we discussed some role playing scenarios such as the two of us showing up at a bar at different times and having an affair with each other. Fantasy is a big part of my self-sexual experience. I would love to be able to incorporate that in a safe relationship with my wife. We wouldn't have to do everything but it would be fun to at least share without being judged and maybe act out the few that fall within our boundaries.


richardsharpe said:


> Real pain? Forced sex? Humiliation?


No on the real pain. I see the desire of fun spankings but not anything beyond that.

Forced sex--only within the realm of consentual-non-consentual. That is, she has given me consent during some time period to just take her, which I do. But then it's not really forced. It would be fun to have an agreement of taking her at least once a month when and how I want. I would take her at the most inopportune times just to see if she is willing to surrender. 

Humiliation--Not really. I enjoy the "almost" side of humiliation thoughts. Like maybe her going commando and flashing me in a public place where she could get caught but isn't. I wouldn't want to disrespect her to actually being humiliated by someone else. 



richardsharpe said:


> What do you like to do to your partner or have done to you?


The closest thing we've ever done was a pretend tie up which didn't last but a couple minutes. Recently I've suggested us re-visiting this and she said definitely not.

Some 5 years ago I got a bit aggressive with her from behind. Nothing serious but I kinda growled, pulled on her hair and nibbled her shoulder. She said "ouch" and was totally turned off by that. Shortly after in a counseling session she said she didn't have much hope for our marriage because she didn't think she could match my libido. 

I would not mind if she got much more aggressive with me. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and would not mind indulging in some domination games with her. That is no where near her list of approved activities so it won't actually happen.



richardsharpe said:


> Though I don't get to engage in it, my personal favorite is variations on forced orgasm play in an appropriate scenario. But this may be an obscure kink.


Yes please--both me and her. With her Hitachi wand and my finger massaging her g-spot I can make her orgasm indefinitely. The longest we've gone is she made me stop after a dozen or so. I would love to tie her up and keep going past her saying no. 

She thinks I am a one-and-done kind of guy but I know from myself that I am not. It depends on how turned on I am and the expectation of it. It would be fun to reverse the above scenario and have her see how many time she could work me. 



richardsharpe said:


> To not drift too far off the point of the board, how do people deal with having very different kinks than their partners - and is this worse when you are both kinky but in different ways?


Unfortunately, the answer is the lowest common denominator. Whatever the lesser kink's partner is the best you can do. Personally for me, if we had an otherwise loving, accepting and non-judgmental relationship I would be willing to do just about anything for her. My only boundary would be no other people, nothing illegal or permanent.

I've tried talking to my wife about kink recently but got no where. I asked her if she was happy with our "routine" or if she wanted to try something different. She agreed it was rather routine. When I pressed what she wanted to do differently I got the same ole "just love me more, don't expect sex, do more housework." I said I got that, but what else in bed, and she said she didn't know. For her she grew up in a household that sex was a dirty word and never gave herself permission to enjoy that part of her being. I think that is the key to developing different kinds of interests and kinks--just loving acceptance of the other person. Once you have that mastered then anything can and will go.


----------



## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

WandaJ said:


> During date dinner on Valentine's Day I gave the remote to my vibrating egg as present to my husband(egg insterted and ready!).


That is so damn hot.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Sarantonio said:


> We do like to play this little game when we are out, we say awful random things to each other, like at breakfast he'll say "I thought you were going to pay!" So I'll roll my eyes, grab my purse and half-yell "Last time I meet someone on craigslist!" and storm out... then we laugh about it on the way home and end up boinking ...
> 
> I guess laughter is our foreplay.
> .


This is hysterical, love it.

My H and I do similar things...only a bit darker. One of them is when we're out in public, sometimes he will grab my arm roughly and act like he is dragging/forcing me along, and I will pull back against him and look like I'm trying to yank my arm out of his grip. He is so large that it really looks like I'm struggling against him but I'm a featherweight compared to him so it is all just a show. He will usually be speaking softly in my ear in a scary-man voice "get OVER here you naughty thing you, you need to be punished".

The only reason people don't call the police and report an abuse situation on us is that I can't help but laugh and smile all during this act. It cracks me up every time!


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Sarantonio said:


> I guess laughter is our foreplay.


Yes! This is very true for me and my BF. Laughter and a great sense of humor is a huge turn on for me.


----------



## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

lucy999 said:


> Yes! This is very true for me and my BF. Laughter and a great sense of humor is a huge turn on for me.



LOL. Yep, nothing like laughter. When I take off my clothes, it is comedy hour or minute.


----------



## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

Mr.Fisty said:


> LOL. Yep, nothing like laughter. When I take off my clothes, it is comedy hour or minute.



Ba Dum Tssh!!


----------



## Eastcoasting (Apr 21, 2015)

Not necessarily whips and chains but there is some level of kink (could be better in my opinion) in the bedroom.

My wife likes to take some level of control. Just recently, she was on top and ordered me to grab the headboard - to keep my hands there at all times and told me not to cum until she had enough. What a ride that was :grin2:

I also noticed that she likes to edge me for an extended period of time. She is able to keep me fully hard the entire time. These sessions always end with me shooting a voluminous amount of cum. :grin2:


----------



## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

My kink, I get the most pleasure on the brink of pain.

What does that look like?
My back a human scratching post, hair pulling, spanking, and getting slapped in the face.

I like to go to work the next day with an itchy back, that's how I know it was a good night.


----------



## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

WandaJ said:


> During date dinner on Valentine's Day I gave the remote to my vibrating egg as present to my husband(egg insterted and ready!). He was mildly curious about it, play a little, and then gave me back the remote once we went to movies and movie was on.
> 
> Sigh....


I would not be able to contain my evil grin if my wife would do this for me. 

What fun it would be.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> I would not be able to contain my evil grin if my wife would do this for me.
> 
> What fun it would be.


I've floated this idea to my wife before.

She was like "Hell no!" I asked why not, and she said "Because you'd use it!"


----------



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> I've floated this idea to my wife before.
> 
> She was like "Hell no!" I asked why not, and she said "Because you'd use it!"


Maybe she thought you wanted to use the egg on yourself ... :surprise:


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Yeah, I probably should have been a little more clear when pitching the idea.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I wish I could enjoy something like that, but a foreign object shoved up inside of me just doesn't do it for me. (shrug) If it was a nice feeling, I would totally do it.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I wish I could enjoy something like that, but a foreign object shoved up inside of me just doesn't do it for me. (shrug) If it was a nice feeling, I would totally do it.


The nice feeling comes after the egg is inside. Tis the burden of women that men want to shove their "foreign" objects inside them.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

It doesn't matter if the object vibrates or not...it doesn't feel nice to me.

The only thing that does feel nice inside of there is something that is attached to my H's body or hands. 

That's just me though. Plenty of women love it.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> It doesn't matter if the object vibrates or not...it doesn't feel nice to me.
> 
> The only thing that does feel nice inside of there is something that is attached to my H's body or hands.
> 
> That's just me though. Plenty of women love it.


FW--what about one of those vibrating "sheathes" that your H could wear? Or alternatively one of those WeVibe's where your H would be...er....."In" on the action.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Never tried them but would be open to it...just don't have any lack of fulfillment currently so adding new things isn't top on my list. 

Nothin' beats what nature provided him.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> I've floated this idea to my wife before.
> 
> She was like "Hell no!" I asked why not, and she said "Because you'd use it!"


that's the whole point, lol!

Fozzy, just tell her that very good lady friend of yours said that this is rather mellow and nice experience , internal massage. No volcano orgasms in the middle of the restaurant 

And come back here and let me know, how that went>


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Never tried them but would be open to it...just don't have any lack of fulfillment currently so adding new things isn't top on my list.
> 
> Nothin' beats what nature provided him.


I beat what nature provided me all the time.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Never tried them but would be open to it...just don't have any lack of fulfillment currently so adding new things isn't top on my list.
> 
> Nothin' beats what nature provided him.


Absolutely! If it works, no need to change just for the sake of change.

I think the point of this thread is do/share what makes both partners happy. The downside, repeated over and over in the sad tales related in TAM is how often the two partners are not in sync on what makes for happiness in the bedroom. It really doesn't matter what it is that gets the libido going, only that the two of you are in sync about it - be it whips and chains or just plain old plain sex the way we were designed to do it. Enjoy! :grin2:


----------



## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> I wish I could enjoy something like that, but a foreign object shoved up inside of me just doesn't do it for me. (shrug) If it was a nice feeling, I would totally do it.


It's not the object but the control that is the kink.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

committed_guy said:


> It's not the object but the control that is the kink.


Yes, I get that, and I love kink and have plenty of it. Just not with this particular type of toy. The control would be and is fun and we play lots of various type of games. Most being a lot more complicated than this one, but I'd still do this one if I actually liked the feeling of the object.


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

I enjoy being dominated and given orders, but whips/chains/pain/humiliation really aren't my thing. Sometimes I wonder if it's a little weird to want romance and kinky sex - STBXH saw them as polar opposites but to me, there's something kind of romantic about giving over control to someone else when you're so vulnerable. It's really not something I would do unless I trusted someone implicitly. But it's also a really awkward thing to ask for. New BF is pretty romantic, but also for whatever reason seems more than happy with my preferences. Who knows. This thread has shown me that if so many couples in committed relationships/marriages are able to let loose, that maybe it is possible to combine the two, and that maybe I just married the wrong guy, or screwed up by not asking for what I wanted early on.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I see BDSM and the like as a form of "play": A fun thing you can do with a partner. I don't see it as itself "romantic" but that it can easily be a part of a relationship that is romantic. Mountain biking isn't romantic, but it could be a fun thing to do with someone with whom you have a romantic relationship. 

I wouldn't want a sexual relationship that was exclusively bdsm, but I think it is a fine think to mix with other intimate activities.


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

I don't get it one bit.... It's alien to me that people enjoy this.

Gf likes to be choked, bit, roughed up, etc.

It's just not my thing AT ALL. Does absolutely nothing for me.

I try to play along for her but I'm sure it comes off half-hearted at best.

Maybe that's a sign of sexual incompatibility?


----------



## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

BetrayedDad said:


> I don't get it one bit.... It's alien to me that people enjoy this.
> 
> Gf likes to be choked, bit, roughed up, etc.
> 
> ...


There is nothing primal in you that just wants to "take" her?

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> There is nothing primal in you that just wants to "take" her?
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


Yeah of course but I just want to bone her hard, haha.

Not all this choking, biting, stuff. Or whips, chains, w/e.

I just don't get the whole production. It bores me to tears.

Just my personal taste. Obviously, some people enjoy it.

I just don't understand why I don't. I can skip the theatrics.

All I want is a cute babe with a smokin body and I'm good.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> I see BDSM and the like as a form of "play": A fun thing you can do with a partner. I don't see it as itself "romantic" but that it can easily be a part of a relationship that is romantic. Mountain biking isn't romantic, but it could be a fun thing to do with someone with whom you have a romantic relationship.
> 
> I wouldn't want a sexual relationship that was exclusively bdsm, but I think it is a fine think to mix with other intimate activities.


Good eve. Richard. I chose to quote you because you have all of the parts of my thoughts on this. I'm a craver of discipline. To me Surrender and Submission are Trust and Intimacy. They are ways that I like to express my Romantic feelings. To my Partner they are as confusing and boring as they are to @BetrayedDad . 

Then you brought in Mountain biking. That activity contains 2 aspects that are Romantic to my wife. Scenic views & competition. But physical exertion and risk are negative. 
@joannacroc Yes Do ask for what you want.


----------



## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

We have recently gotten into restraints, not a true D/S lifestyle though as we pretty much take turns on who is restrained. I have a higher pain tolerance than she does, but both of us enjoy wearing marks afterwards. 

Also while at our first ever swing house party we were introduced to a Dr Clockworks Electrowand. If you have never tried it, you are missing out. They are not cheap, our starter kit ran about 300.00, but worth every penny! The couple that introduced us to it are true D/S and slowly showing us how to do things so no one is seriously hurt and everyone has maximum pleasure.


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Give me passion.....you can keep the pain. 

Dominance/submission and pain (either giving or receiving) are huge turn offs to me. The pain, for obvious reasons. The D/s is more complicated. 

I love a man who's in control of himself and of me, but I don't like to be "taken" per se. I equate "taking" as losing control and that scares me. I mean really, really scares me to the point where I go into fight or flight mode. Suffice it to say that I do not have a desire to experience rape fantasy...at all.


----------



## NorCalMan (Dec 14, 2011)

I had a girlfriend back in college who was very dominate. She always had to be in control and sex was no different. She liked different kinky stuff including spanking me for various reasons. I was actually intimidated by her at times and finally broke up with her.


----------

