# Hi All! New Here...



## iluvblue (Mar 14, 2010)

...and I guess I am going to just jump in here with an intro and short explanation of my marriage problems.

My husband and I just celebrated (sort of) our 6-year wedding anniversary. We have been together for nine years.

Toward the end of January, my husband announced that he doesn't love me the same and that he thinks we should just end things. 

It was a shock to me! Not that there were problems (who doesn't have problems), but that he'd given up on us. We'd never discussed separating (well not since 6 months after we started dating). 

I knew things had changed with us. We were not connected and hadn't been intimate in months. Because of female problems, I was not able to conceive the second child he desperately wanted. The female problems were the beginning of the end where our sex life was concerned. Not that he didn't want to be with me, but that I felt very unattractive and embarrassed and not particularly focused or interested in sex.

I have my own set of issues with my husband, but I love him and I am willing to do just about anything to save my marriage...most days.

There are some days, when I just hurt so much that I think it best to just let him go. I mean, if the man isn't happy and he doesn't feel like the love he has for me is the right kind of love to have for his wife, shouldn't I let him go?

I struggle with this day in and day out. I try to be positive, but some days are tougher than others. 

Yesterday I went to sleep and planning to read my Mort Fertel emails and try to figure out what kind of program to purchase today or if we should sign up for counseling (we decided on counseling, but I am wondering if an at home program or maybe a boot camp would be better for our busy schedules). That was last night.

I woke up thinking I needed to start on planning on him leaving (I am not leaving our home and I have already told him this). And that's how my days go. I might go three days of good and then the negative starts creeping back in.

I hope this intro isn't to scattered  I guess I am sort of scattered these days. It's tough pretending like everything is okay when is far from it. I really don't know where to start in trying to repair the damage to our marriage. I am also torn whether or not I should just let me go and not fight it.


----------



## hurtbutrealistic (Mar 28, 2010)

at 25 years, I am completely in agreement with where you stand. Why make yourself miserable longer? I love my husband too-and I have been looking at Mort Fertels stuff just recently.. Well anyway he works hard and most times he really quite great especially to our 10 moth old grand daughter here, but lately it has been bad.. computer games at age 43 do not help (him not me). I feel scattered too!

I hope I can help,

realistic


----------



## beautifullybroken (Mar 28, 2010)

I am so glad I'm not the only one that feels scatter brained. Somedays are alright, and I consider counselling an option, and other days I'm like "F" it... if it hasn't changed this long, why is it going to? Sometimes people just dont work out.

Anyway, back to the original poster, I am so sorry what a blow that must have been to hear your husband say that. I had something similar when mine said he screwed up last time because he thought it was "giving me a way out". I keep wondering in the back of my head if he even loves me and just wants to end things too. 
I hope things work out how you want them too...stay strong.


----------

