# commited but willing to leave?



## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

How can you be committed to a marriage but willing to leave also?


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

Because something in the marriage is missing. Either the partner has said mltiple times and you haven't listened or doesn't know exactly what you are wanting and always feels like a "bad" spouse for not being able to meet your obvious needs.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

socal04 said:


> How can you be committed to a marriage but willing to leave also?


This plays out two different way:

1. Either you are the one who wants the marriage and the OTHER party won't commit so essentially you HAVE to let them go and leave for your own sanity

OR 

2. You can't. You cannot give 100% to a marriage if you leave... but that 100% has to come from BOTH parties. It cannot at all be one-sided.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You can commit if the other person also wants to. You can also leave if the other person wants that instead.

Face it you can't make them want to stay, hell you can't make them stay faithful. Being commited is not the same as being allowed to be treated like sh*t.

I'm not committing to one person that is not commited to me...well my kids its not there fault I'm an ass, I brought them into this world.

But for anyone else screw em "I'll commit if you commit" Thats how me and Mrs. the guy got back together.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

I'm committed to my marriage as long as my H continues to show he can be trustworthy. I'm willing to leave if he slips into his old habits or if he wants me to go. I will do my best to save this marriage as long as he's doing his best as well.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Because after a while you get tired of saying the same things over and over with your spouse not listening or willing to put in the same effort you are. Or the spouse is happy with the way things are but you aren't so you end up at a cross road.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

the guy said:


> i'm not committing to one person that is not commited to me...


this!!!!!!!!


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## TemperToo (Apr 23, 2011)

Everyone else said it. 

This is where I am too. *I* am the one who is committed, but leaving.

I WANT our marriage to work. I have been begging for it to work for years. But I am so very tired of begging. He has told me that he has tried his hardest, but I just haven't seen enough that proves to me he has. Maybe his hardest just isn't good enough. And I have to (for once) take care of me and my kids first.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Jellybeans-What you mean?

Socal04,
I hope you get the point I tried making?
Some DS can get empowered when thet feel the LS is so commited. Getting DS to see that you are confident in succeeding either way, and in that you can commit or leave.. it empowers you and shows that the ball is in DS court and with the disicions they makes with regard to the marriage.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ What do you mean, what do I mean. I re-posted what you said cause I agree... there is no point staying committed to someone who doesn't want to do the same for you. KWIM?


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

i guess for better or for worse is sh*t then..

i mean on hand i get it.. why suffer? but if the other person is trying.. why leave.

alot of woman talk about unconditional love but they will be the ones to leave if they arent getting what they want ( conditions)..

guess im angry today and ranting... sorry..


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The other day, I had a stand-off with an armed suicidal subject. I was committed to saving his life but I was also willing to shoot him between the eyes if he pointed his weapon at me. Commitment to marriage is wonderful and necessary but I think we all must always be committed to self-preservation and willing to do whatever we must to extricate ourselves from an empty, miserable life.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

I hear you..


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