# She cheated, I cheated, she got physical..



## doubleup (Sep 25, 2011)

Hello all,
I'm new to this forum. Let me start off by sayin I'm 27 yrs old and have been married to my high school sweetheart for about 10 years. Currently we have 3 children, ages 8, 5, and 3. 

At the beginning of our marriage prior to our first child I had internet relations with numerous women but it physically meeting them never took place - at the time. I had 2 previous sexual encounters my wife never knew about and still doesn't know about.

After our first child was born I was still doing the same thing, however at this time I had met a few of the women and had sex with them. We moved from our location to a new location. 

Again, I started up talking to females on the internet and met and had sexual relations with one of them.

Again, we moved locations and I stayed away from the internet. In June my wife went on a month long vacation, including Las Vegas. Things wern't adding up that she was doing and I felt something was goin on. This while time she was gone I stayed at home watching movies and playing computer games. I don't have many friends that I hang with after work so that wasn't an option. Finally, I said screw this and I went out seeking a female who I could hang out with. I found one...one that was 19. We went on a few dates, kissed, etc but didn't do anything sexual.

I go out to the location my wife was staying during this month duration and look through her phone. I find a text message conversation between her and another guy, one I presume she met in Vegas. I say nothing. The next day she brings up open marriage. She gives me an elaborate story about how her friend does an open marriage, her friends pastor recommended it due to her past failed marriages and so on and on. We both agree that an open marriage could be something we could try.

On our road trip back to where we live she brings up the guy she met in Vegas, I tell her I know about him but she swears up and down that nothing sexual occurred. OK. I tell her about the female I had been seeing and she then changed her mind about open marriage and said it would be a bad idea.

We get back to where we live and that night I make up a lie so I could meet up with my female. We had prior plans that this would be the night we sleep together and that's exactly what we ended up doing. The next night, same thing. The night following the second night my wife sees a text from this female and asks about her and I spill the beans. I tell her about the dates and about the sexual relations I had with her. She goes off on me but manages to stay with me. A month goes by where she makes me feel horrible for what I've done. She asks if I am done seeing the female and I tell her yes - but I hadn't.

After a month she tells me that her and this other dude did have sexual relations and she was scared to tell me in fear that I could leave her. She tells me she was rufied and doesn't remember anything. The way she found out they slept together was because she texted him the next morning, after waking up with him, and asking him what happened. She says she then learned they slept together but now swears they have no communication as he lives in different state - I believe her. 

A few weeks ago she sees a text between me and this other female. She goes off on me, breaking a mirror over my head and punching me repeatedly in the head giving me knotts on my forehead. I tell her it's over, however --- I am still talking and seeing this other female.

I own the house. I own the car. I have a good full time good paying job. She has a part time ok paying job.

Obviously our relationship is screwed up and I feel that I'm obviously going to continue to cheap with this other female, if not another. I just don't have the heart to tell her as I truly believe she loves me a lot. After all she's gone through all this other crap and stayed with me.

I'd say overall I've slept with about 12 other women - she only knows of this 1. 

What to do....? I am being selfish staying in this relationship and I think telling her the truth and separating would be the best for her in the long run. If she found out about all these other women or finds out I'm seeing this other female or say I sleep with a different one down the line I think it will hurt her a lot more.

Give me some idea...I'm sure I know the answer but I'd like to hear from others.

THanks for reading.


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## gma39 (Sep 21, 2011)

EH. Well obviously you need to tell her the truth!?! 

What is it about her that you feel the need to stay and lie? 

have some respect for her and be honest.


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## ThirdTimeACharm (Sep 1, 2011)

Dude, you are morally bankrupt. Leave your wife and let her find a good man. Once you do that DO NOT GET MARRIED AGAIN. You are a bad person and no women deserves the likes of you. Go to bars, and pick up ****s and give them a good slam...that is what you should do for the rest of your life. You belong to the ****ty cheap chicks that are also morally bankrupt.

Peace,
Peter


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Please stay married. The general public should be protected from your type (husband and wife)


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

Ah, see when I read this I see a whole lot going on. First of all, you obviously have no idea what marriage is all about. Commitment..loyalty..honesty, you know..all those things you swore you would do. 

BUT..I do think you owe her the truth. And I dont think you are capable of being with one person, or maybe you have to find a person that is okay with open marriage. What you are doing could ruin her life on so many levels. And the fact that she takes care of your kids..should make you not want to do that, if nothing else. I mean did you use protection..12 women..that's a lot. Just remeber not everyone tells the truth about how many people they've slept with..and if they've used protection with them. 

Soo in a nut shell. I think..tell her..get a divorce..go on with your lives. Because not once did you say you wanted to change..so theres no reason to string her along.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Your screen name should be doublecrosser or doubledealer. 
get a divorce before you give her aids or something else she can't get rid of.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

doubleup said:


> What to do....? I am being selfish staying in this relationship and I think telling her the truth and separating would be the best for her in the long run. If she found out about all these other women or finds out I'm seeing this other female or say I sleep with a different one down the line I think it will hurt her a lot more.
> 
> Give me some idea...I'm sure I know the answer but I'd like to hear from others.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


A marriage in which both spouses are cheating is not a marriage with a future. Eventually one or the other will grow tired, as it appears you have, and will be wanting a divorce.

Now your wife may not want a divorce because at the moment she is not in a financially sound position to carry on with the load of one household even with alimony and child support coming from you- _that could explain why when she found out you had a girlfriend, she immediately nixed the open marriage idea she was championing earlier_ - so it is important that you come clean with your wife about your extra-marital sexual affairs with the other women. There is no doubt that she will be deeply hurt by your confession but it will open her eyes that a committed relationship with you is simply not possible. This may give her the emotional fortitude to agree to a divorce. 

Since we're presently living in tough economic times where the unemployment rate is double digits across the country, the two of you could come to an agreement that for a period of time, a year or two, the two of you could continue living together after the divorce until she finds a job that will pay her enough that so she can get a place of her own to move to. Or, if it's possible, she can move in with her parents if they're willing to allow her it until she's financially better off. The point is that living arrangements can be made, even if they are of a temporary nature, that would allow the two of you to move on with a divorce.

I'm sorry but your marriage has been on terminal support for a long time and pulling the plug is the most merciful thing to do for it.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

doubleup said:


> A few weeks ago she sees a text between me and this other female. She goes off on me, breaking a mirror over my head and punching me repeatedly in the head giving me knotts on my forehead.


*Violence is unacceptable*. Granted that she was extremely hurt and upset and had every right to be angry with you but there is no justification for using physical violence. The next time she attacks you, call the police to have her arrested for domestic violence. She may be a woman but that does not give her the right to physically harm you, no matter what the reason.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Just divorce. You can't even be honest enough to tell her about the 11 other women you've fcked besides the 19 year old chick. 

Do yourselves both a favor and end it. 

And tell her to get tested for STDs. too.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

gma39 said:


> EH. Well obviously you need to tell her the truth!?!
> 
> What is it about her that you feel the need to stay and lie?
> 
> have some respect for her and be honest.


I agree. Tell her all the details. Who knows? Maybe she'll even do the same for you.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

hookares said:


> I agree. Tell her all the details. Who knows? Maybe she'll even do the same for you.


Holey zombie thread resurrection hookares. This thread is 3-1/2 years old.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Zombie thread


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Waiting on my latest cat scan results and just bored.
SORRY


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

hookares said:


> Waiting on my latest cat scan results and just bored.
> SORRY


About that CAT scan....

How's it look? Like Warhol?


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

Initfortheduration said:


> Please stay married. The general public should be protected from your type (husband and wife)


Agreed. Too add to this, what type of wife or mother goes to vegas????:scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:

You guys married way, way to young, and unfortunately you have brought children into your immature world and dynamic. 


So, you two need to understand that once you become parents-(especially 3 kids), playtime and trips to vegas are over(Unless it's with each other). 


Grow up. You cannot be immature and be a good father. 

Father's need to be men. 

You are a boy. 

Grow up before you fvck up your kids.


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## Rushwater (Feb 11, 2013)

It's too bad that this thread is so old because, I would really like to point out to this person that people like himself and his wife, are the reason this country is going to complete and utter sh!t. I wounder how their poor children turned out?


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Aw the bats are out tonight. Dude.............what marriage? Open or conventional, call it what you will but the best way to describe it is dysfunctional at best. I hope that neither of you owns a gun.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

*OMG!*









*The Walking Thread!*


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

as to you and your wife, and all your cheating---that is on you---you seem to want to boast about it---why, only you know----but let me give you a little bit of a wake up call

You do not own the house, you do not own the car---unless you bought them when you were 17 and brought them INTO the mge with you

her name may not be on the house deed, or the car license---but if they were purchased AFTER YOU TOOK VOWS----she owns half of the house, and the car, and everything else--------it doesn't make any difference if you were the only one supplying the greenback dollars

So when you plan whatever it is that you will do for the future----remember in a D---she will get what the law allows her----and if you are in a comm prop state----that is half of everything----along with some alimony-----------maybe its time you joined the real world


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

HarryDoyle said:


> *OMG!*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:lol:
LOL...Our favorite show.

Wow! And people still responding as if a 1 time poster from 9/2011 will respond. That's funny!! :rofl:


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

What about the cat scan?


It makes you wonder how it all turned out when they disappear like that!


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## MRABoysHaveSmallPeanut (Mar 13, 2014)




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