# Now I have my proof



## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

I am embarrassed and ashamed of myself to say this but I thought my wife was having an affair. Now, I know that isn't the case at all. We sat down last night and had a long discussion. She is VERY depressed and wrung out emotionally. She is FAR too depressed to ever even think about having a affair.

Let me start from the beginning. We moved from Ft.Worth to a small town. The town I grew up in. We moved next door to my parents so we could help them out. They're both getting older and dont have anyone else to help them out. Now, my dad has terminal cancer. 

Not long after we moved here my parents started treating her very bad. She is a very outspoken person, doesn't hold anything in and tells it like it is. Maybe too much a times. My parents are not like that, they are the type that doesn't like to discuss things. Don't talk about it and it will go away kind of thing. They've always been that way. My wife on the other hand is the type that when she sees something going on that isnt right, she will let that person know about it. That's why my parents haven't liked her. In fact, they've done nothing to repair the rift that's between them and my wife. They have always lived in this town and maybe I'm wrong but it's part of a small town mentality, especially this one, to keep things bottled up. 

I've told my parents on severals occasions that, "I know don't like her and that hurts. It hurts because of what we left to come here to help you out. She is my wife, and it hurts that the to of you can't get along, she is my wife and just like it says in the Bible, a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife and that it exactly what I am going do." 

Several other reasons why she is depressed. She hates the job she is in, and there are no others in this town. I was recently diagnosed with Epilepsy and can't drive. By the way, my boss fired me over this. She worries about me constantly because I am home by myself all the time. She is also very worried about how bills are going to be paid since she is the sole provider right now. She even works extra shifts to make sure we have enough money to make it, and for me thats hard to bare because I am suppose to be the provider and I cant do it right now.

Now, the reason I thought she might be having an affair is that she spends a lot of time on Facebook. I have checked her history because I have access to her account and there is absolutely no proof that she has even attempted to start one. Again I feel embarrassed and ashamed. 

She wants to leave here and go back to where we were living, but we just can't right now. There is no money to be able to do so. To tell the truth, I'm not that happy here either and wish we'd never moved here. We both left good jobs to move here and help my parents. Boy, have I learned a lesson the hard way.
I hate seeing my wife like this. She told me she cries everyday, she does it every day on the way to work so I won't see it. 
Now, I am in one heck of a mess and I can't seem to dig my way out of the crater my life has become.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

One other thing I forgot to mention is that my parents consider to be Christian people. They are the type that go to Church every Sunday, day and night services. They go on Wednsday nights. To me it doesn't seem very Christ like to not even attempt to repair the rift. In other words. Their actions don't follow their words.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

I've been (mostly) reading and (sometimes) posting at this site for a little over a year, and I couldn't begin to count the number of times a betrayed spouse came in and here and said "We talked it out, and Husband/Wife isn't having an affair. He/She is way too depressed to even think about doing something like that." only to see it followed up a few days, weeks or months with a post saying "I can't believe I was lied to; it was an affair all along."

Given all of the difficulties the two of you have been facing, I would be the least surprised person to hear that she's been down in the dumps. Plenty of people would be.

But it doesn't change the fact that her behaviours have been shady.

* She was secretly trying to confirm that guy's phone number on facebook, and flat-out lied to your face when you asked about him, and then deleted that history. That's not from being stressed out.

* She's surgically attached to her phone, but even more worrying is that she's purposely trying to hide it from you, angle the screen away, change the page whenever you happen to look. That's not due to depression.

* Her explanation doesn't change her suspicious behaviours in San Antonio.

* Her demands for a secret world of online privacy where you're completely shut out (the opposite of intimacy) don't arise from the difficult relationship she has with your parents.

* The "I wouldn't have time for an affair" is a terrible excuse, particularly from somebody who's often late coming home work. Steve Wonder could see that's not nearly good enough.

There could be more from your first thread, but this what I recall from yesterday. Sit down and really think about it... Does "I've been depressed", even though she has fair reason to be, wash away any of the above-listed red flags?

Not in my opinion.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

What do you suggest he do, sh987?


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Once again, I know she is not cheating on me. One of the side effects of two of the medications I take cause anxiety. I over reacted to what was totally innocent. She has her Facebook account set up so that it is very private. You cannot even find it if you search for it. I honestly believe she is being honest with me. I'm not trying to start an argument, but I live with her, you dont. The reason she comes home late at night, is she's a Nurse. Those of you who know anything about Nursing know that a Nurse has to stay at give report to the next Nurse who is coming on shift. I was anxious and over reacted. Plain and simple. 

Another thing about her Facebook account is that she has her account set up so that no one can see it unless you are on your on her friends list. This guy isn't on her friends list. Besides that, I looked this guy up on Facebook, and I know my wife wouldn't be interested in this guy because he isn't her type. Am I hiding my head in the sand, "rug sweeping" or sticking my head in the sand, being naive, I dont think I am. There's a part of marriage that and unless you have it, your marriage won't work. That part is trust. And I DO trust her. And once again, I'm not trying to start an argument, but TWO of my meds I take for my Epilepsy does cause anxiety. The Neurologist told me this and it was on the information that comes with the meds, I even looked it up.

I trust and believe her. And until I have SOLID evidence to prove me wrong, I will continue to believe her.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm not saying she's cheating... But did she tell you why she was looking up this guy? 

In any case, start with small things that you can deal with. One bite at a time, you know? 

C


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Another thing, she isn't "surgically attached to her phone." I could go pick it up right now, if I wanted to and search every thing in it. It is not password locked, or anything else that Ive read about having a emotional or sexual affair. So, like I said, I believe her, will continue to do so until I have SOLID, undeniable proof that she IS having an affair.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Do you mind sharing how she reacted when you told her you thought she was cheating on you? 

If you tried to verify with a VAR or anything like that, did you tell her? How did she take it?


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

PBear, she told me she did not know this guy. Had never even heard of him. Like I said, I trust her and will continue to do so until I have solid, undeniable evidence. Most of what I posted yesterday, was due to the meds I take, they do cause anxiety. If you don't believe me I will gladly give you the name of both the meds so you can look it up yourself.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

From what you said, his name appeared on your kindle SOMEHOW. So unless your meds make you do random things in your sleep... 

Anyway, you're the one that has to live your life. It is good you two are talking about your stresses. 

C


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

I am sorry your passing through this ,

just for the sake of peace of mind do one thing :

there is an option in FB called activity log ...
you can view alogs and logs ; even searches done by a user ...

try it no harm


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

When I asked her if she was having an affair she was very calm about it. She was very calm about it, and said she had no time for a affair. Being a Nurse, I believe her. She is a charge Nurse at s Nursing Home and is VERY busy. I have even showed up at her work unannounced and have seen her running her a**' off. She even has to work a double shift tonight. She showed me the text asking her to do it and it was from someone she works with. How do I know this ? I know the person who sent the text and it is a female. Do I think it was some sort of secret code ? Absolutely not, because it came from her boss.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Did you have a plan if she had been cheating?


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Zous, I check her activity log on FB regularly. Theres never any activity that shouldn't be on there. In fact, it is posts she has commented on that friends have posted. Or posts to her own page, or comments that our son, who is in the Air Force, has posted on his account.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

JLD, yes I did have a plan. But I KNOW for a fact she is not.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

JLD, yes as a matter of fact, one of the side effects of two of the meds I take can cause unusual behavior.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Jeffk said:


> Most of what I posted yesterday, was due to the meds I take, they do cause anxiety. If you don't believe me I will gladly give you the name of both the meds so you can look it up yourself.


If you're on SSRI (Benzos) meds there are new epilepsy/anti-anxiety alternatives (coming) out.

Buspirone (sp?) is getting some good reports. Not really my 'thing', but might be worth asking your GP about if the anxiety is bad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

One of the meds is a Benzo, which I'm sure you know about that. The other two I am on are Benzodiazepine's also.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

In other words, I am on three different meds that do in fact cause anxiety.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

I am confused by your thread title. You have your proof of what?


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

Let's move on in the discussion to something useful: You need to get the heck out of town. No money is no excuse. You need a job, your wife needs a job somewhere she is happier, you both need to get out of the small town and move back to where you came from. 

I'd make that the priority now. Or you are going to lose your wife one way or the other.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

seeking sanity said:


> Let's move on in the discussion to something useful: You need to get the heck out of town. No money is no excuse. You need a job, your wife needs a job somewhere she is happier, you both need to get out of the small town and move back to where you came from.
> 
> *I'd make that the priority now. Or you are going to lose your wife one way or the other.*


I think this is true.

Good advice, ss.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *Jeffk said:* We moved from Ft.Worth to a small town. The town I grew up in. We moved next door to my parents so we could help them out. They're both getting older and dont have anyone else to help them out. Now, my dad has terminal cancer.


Aside from all the affair talk.. I don't think as parents , we should EVER expect or frankly, even allow our children who have good jobs , things are going well for them ...to uproot themselves to come take care of us in old age.. You said they go to church 3 times a week.. they have community / sisters & brothers there for them.. at least that's what fellowship & Church is supposed to be about ! 

Although you did this out of the kindness of your heart.. and it is commendable...and from your wife's end too.... it sounds it wasn't the best decision... a tough spot to be in with you loosing your job right now, and the epilepsy. 



> Not long after we moved here my parents started treating her very bad. She is a very outspoken person, doesn't hold anything in and tells it like it is. Maybe too much a times. My parents are not like that, they are the type that doesn't like to discuss things. Don't talk about it and it will go away kind of thing. They've always been that way. My wife on the other hand is the type that when she sees something going on that isnt right, she will let that person know about it. That's why my parents haven't liked her. In fact, they've done nothing to repair the rift that's between them and my wife. They have always lived in this town and maybe I'm wrong but it's part of a small town mentality, especially this one, to keep things bottled up.


 It sounds your wife and parents are on opposite sides of the spectrum here.. a happy medium where one is assertive yet sensitive to their temperaments showing some tact to opening things up (wife could lean more this way).. and your parents.... more willing to discuss..in stead of shutting down...and burying while harboring resentment ....(this is very difficult to be one the receiving end as well - it leaves a hopeless feeling)

Old habits die hard.. at this point, you won't be changing your parents.. so you can only enforce your own boundaries & what you are willing to put up with.. Good for you standing up for your wife.. a husband & wife needs to be united. 



> Several other reasons why she is depressed. She hates the job she is in, and there are no others in this town. I was recently diagnosed with Epilepsy and can't drive. By the way, my boss fired me over this. She worries about me constantly because I am home by myself all the time. She is also very worried about how bills are going to be paid since she is the sole provider right now. She even works extra shifts to make sure we have enough money to make it, and for me thats hard to bare because I am suppose to be the provider and I cant do it right now.


 this would be so very difficult on both of you..



> Now, the reason I thought she might be having an affair is that she spends a lot of time on Facebook. I have checked her history because I have access to her account and there is absolutely no proof that she has even attempted to start one. Again I feel embarrassed and ashamed.


 wonderful news here.. many get sucked into FB , just a habit like anything else...it is her way of escape right now.. if you can pull some of that back to you.. it will help you both... cling to each other.. 



> She wants to leave here and go back to where we were living, but we just can't right now. There is no money to be able to do so. To tell the truth, I'm not that happy here either and wish we'd never moved here. We both left good jobs to move here and help my parents. Boy, have I learned a lesson the hard way.
> I hate seeing my wife like this. She told me she cries everyday, she does it every day on the way to work so I won't see it.
> Now, I am in one heck of a mess and I can't seem to dig my way out of the crater my life has become.


 You couldn't sell your house here.. no chance she could get her old job back or be in line for a hire down the road ? then find another place to rent.... it gives you both something to hope for., work towards.. always a way.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Seeking Sanity, how am I suppose to get a job if I can't drive ? That privilege has been taken from me. My Neurologist said absolutely do not drive. I could kill someone or myself ? Wouldn't that be a worse situation than I'm already in ? 

Not having money is an excuse, because it's true. My wife is working extra shifts just to pay the bills we have coming in. I dont see how you can say we need to get out of town, when I can't drive ? 

And I again, I'm not being defensive, or start an argument but why does everyone on this page seem to focus on losing your wife. Just because some of you have doesn't mean I am. We are going through very tough times and I appreciate the advice I've gotten on the hard times were going through and how to handle it. And I do think this is a useful discussion, if you don't, seeking sanity, that is about you.


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## MonsterAlphaPhouc (Nov 28, 2014)

Jeffk said:


> Seeking Sanity, how am I suppose to get a job if I can't drive ? That privilege has been taken from me. My Neurologist said absolutely do not drive. I could kill someone or myself ? Wouldn't that be a worse situation than I'm already in ?
> 
> Not having money is an excuse, because it's true. My wife is working extra shifts just to pay the bills we have coming in. I dont see how you can say we need to get out of town, when I can't drive ?
> 
> And I again, I'm not being defensive, or start an argument but why does everyone on this page seem to focus on losing your wife. Just because some of you have doesn't mean I am. We are going through very tough times and I appreciate the advice I've gotten on the hard times were going through and how to handle it. And I do think this is a useful discussion, if you don't, seeking sanity, that is about you.


Dude. Meds are great. When you have a big ball of stress on you and anxiety, if you do not work out one of the best things you can do is get onto a fitness regiment.

You will gain control of yourself and your thoughts, you will feel strong, and the stress will be flushed out during the workouts and you will also have endorphins starting to flow 20 or so minutes into it.

So win/win/win. Keep the things out of your ear, eye that cause you to feel stress. It's not that hard.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I think the concern, and maybe it is unfounded, is that she is not going to stay forever in a job she is unhappy with, with in laws who are unkind to her, and a husband who may never be able to financially contribute again, and questions her loyalty. But again, those concerns may be totally unfounded.

You know her best, OP. Go with your gut, not our worries for you. We could be, and I hope we are, completely wrong.

Honestly, if I were you, I would just be as kind and supportive to her as possible, and listen carefully to her ideas for how to improve your living situation. It would be stressful for anyone, OP. So sorry.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Simply Amorous, I appreciate the advice. The Church my parents attend offer little to no help at all. I have seen this with my own eyes. 

As far as selling our house, the economy here is so bad that we would never be able to sell it. There are houses here that have been on the market for two years or more.

I am caught in the middle of this thing with my wife and my parents. Its a very difficult position to be in. She is desperately looking for s new job.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Gee, in the other thread you started you had better proof she was in an EA. 

Then you left repeatedly and swore you'd never be back.

Now we have about the 5th variation to your "story".

If any of this is true at all, which is in major doubt, just be a good husband and all will be fine.

Mods, I trust you've been keeping an eye on all this...


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

JLD, I know in my heart, not just my gut that her being unfaithful are unfounded. I do try to show her all the love and support I can. I dont just sit around the house feeling sorry for myself. I cook, I clean the house while she is at work, and I do the laundry. I do as much as I can for her. I deeply love her and I know without a doubt she deeply loves me as well.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Good enough, Jeffk. I hope the new epilepsy meds work out well. 

I am really sorry you are going through all this. All the best.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Thatbpguy, I know this is the 5th version of my "story" very well. I know I said I wouldnt be back several times, but I am. I thought I have proof that she was in a EA. But if you had read an earlier post, 3 of the meds I take for Epilepsy do in fact cause anxiety. You left that part out.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Thatbpguy, I don't really care if you or anyone else "seriously doubt that any of this is true" or not. I know it is. What I think is funny is that most of you keep harping on what I posted yesterday and have totally ignored what I've said today. For example, the fact that the meds I am on cause anxiety. That's a FACT. I don't really care if you believe that or not either. Maybe I am being defensive this time, but I feel it is justified.

Y


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Oh, one other thing. What I posted about her "liking" a picture on FB that said "My husband is an ass hole". I looked at it again. It was a picture of a guy in a shower pulling the curtain back with a scary mask on. I would think he was an ass hole too.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hey Jeffk. Maybe nothing else is going on. Everyone here just has seen a lot of circumstances and want you to be informed.

Does sound like you are in an unhealthy situation and I agree with putting your wife ahead of your parents.

I had a couple red flags a while back and after some snooping, all I found was that she was stressed about some issues from her past and depressed.

It never hurts to be vigilant regardless of what is really going on.

I hope you can get your life back on track and get your wife into a healthier environment.

Got a plan?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## D.H Mosquito (Jul 22, 2014)

Glad to hear it wasn't an affair always good to be up front with your partner and fix things perhaps you acted in a timely manner to help prevent her straying if unhappy, until you both can afford to move back to where you want to be there has to be a massive reconnect and plenty of just you time to help keep the magic/spark there and no harm in a little raised awareness/fireproofing for your relationship and good luck


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Conanhub, I agree. We are in a very u healthy situation. Do I think she will leave me. No, I do not. From what I have read about people who are in a EA, or Affair wont share anything with their spouse, not even how their day went. We discuss her day all the time and she is very open.

If she was in some sort of affair, why would she drive me to appointments with my Neurologist or make sure I took my meds ? From guilt most would say. She has been very supportive of my condition. So I seriously doubt she is doing all this because of guilt from an affair. Call me naive, but I happen to believe it is done for love and I always will.

Yes, we are seriously working on a plan. Just havent been able to come up with one, but we will keep working on it.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Thank you Mr Useless. It has been a very difficult road to say the least. I will do everything in my power to be supportive of her and make her feel she is not being taking advantage of. 

I will do everything in my power to show her I am not being self centered. That I appreciate her and that I love her. Deeply.

God knows I have plenty of me time, lol. Sometimes I think it's a little too much to be honest.


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## D.H Mosquito (Jul 22, 2014)

Hi Jeff when i said you time i meant you time as a couple no parents work mates and phones kindles etc ignored for that special time together


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Oh, Mr Useless, I misunderstood you. Were working on the Kindle issue and having more us time. We had a very good conversation this morning.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Flying_Dutchman said:


> If you're on SSRI (Benzos) meds there are new epilepsy/anti-anxiety alternatives (coming) out.
> 
> Buspirone (sp?) is getting some good reports. Not really my 'thing', but might be worth asking your GP about if the anxiety is bad.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


SSRI's are not benzo's. Benzodiazepines are anti anxiety, SSRI's are anti depressant. JeffK, I have no idea what kind of epilepsy you have, but my daughter used to take Trileptal and had excellent results with it.


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

Jeffk said:


> Seeking Sanity, how am I suppose to get a job if I can't drive ? That privilege has been taken from me. My Neurologist said absolutely do not drive. I could kill someone or myself ? Wouldn't that be a worse situation than I'm already in ?
> 
> Not having money is an excuse, because it's true. My wife is working extra shifts just to pay the bills we have coming in. I dont see how you can say we need to get out of town, when I can't drive ?
> 
> And I again, I'm not being defensive, or start an argument but why does everyone on this page seem to focus on losing your wife. Just because some of you have doesn't mean I am. We are going through very tough times and I appreciate the advice I've gotten on the hard times were going through and how to handle it. And I do think this is a useful discussion, if you don't, seeking sanity, that is about you.


Listen, I'm sympathetic to what you are going through. I'm also an optimistic person and believe there are solutions to most problems. Can you work from home? Can you take the bus? Do you have the skills to start a home based business? I don't know anything about you but surely there is something you can do to contribute financially.

Get a cheaper place. Get rid of the cell phone. Find a way to save money. I don't know. But I think you'll be much happier if you are working to a goal that will solve your issues. Having your wife martyr for the family and having her crying because she hates her job so much is not a sustainable situation.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Jeffk said:


> Simply Amorous, I appreciate the advice. The Church my parents attend offer little to no help at all. I have seen this with my own eyes.


 What a shame then... churchs like that SHOULD slowly lose members & dry up... sounds so cold.. boring really... Not all churches are like this.. the one I used to attend... very helpful ...reaching out... felt a community.. for the most part. 

And there again, at their age...they won't be changing churches.. that's what they are used to.... just a shame... makes Christians look bad all the way around. 

I haven't seen your other thread all are commenting on...I was just going by what I read here today..

I wish you & your wife well....not an easy circumstance at all.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Jeff, 

You and your wife have a lot to carry and will be doing it for a long while. The only way out this is making decisions, setting goals and methodically working toward them, supportive of each other. That can only be successful with two clear heads. One thing at a time, not everything at one time. I learned that if you solve one or two problems out of ten, six of them will just fall into order. 

Some suggestions...

Simply star with you, since that's what you control alone. How well do you take care of your health? Are you exercising? Are you HWP? Do you use tobacco, alcohol, recreational drugs? If may sound trivial with all your problems, but these things are essential for your emotional and mental health. There are many studies that show physical well being to help improve or overcome symptoms epilepsy. How about her health? 

Then set up healthy marital boundaries with your parents. Your marriage comes first. It must be protected if you want it to continue. Sometimes the best of intentions fail, then you must take the helm and change your course to protect the marriage. Keep in mind, even though you and your DW wanted to help them in their poor health situation, their adverse behavior is their choice. I'm not saying they can change, but if you mitigate the consequences for them (try to keep the peace), they will have no incentive to change. 

How about after that you get DW to join you in some counseling?


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

BadSanta, I know you are only trying to help, but your post is completely WRONG. I do in fact defend my wife to my parents. if you would have taken the time to read the whole post you would have seen that I told my parents that it says in the Bible "a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife." If you don't believe that, for one you weren't here to see it, and two, if you don't believe it, that's about you.

And I have NEVER mentioned to my parents that I thought that she was having an affair. Don't believe that either ? Oh well. Have never brought up the fact that she is depressed to my parents. Don't believe that either ? Oh well. And once again, I never blamed their hateful actions on their Church, all I said was they don't offer much help. So, I don't know where you got that from.

And no, I DO not sit here and talk crap about my parents to my wife. Or their Church either for that matter. How dare you make statements like that and read into things without even knowing me. 

I won't even go into what the side effects of my meds do infect cause. You probably wouldn't understand it anyway. Youre a pompous jerk. And if I get kicked off this page for saying what I'm about to, so be it. If you said the things you said to me on your post to my face, I would KICK YOUR ASS.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Jeff, 

I see you ran the BS gauntlet in CWI. Don't let that jade you. Remember, this is an open internet forum. The only qualifications for membership here, are a device and a link to the web. There's no need to let anonymous strangers anger you, You can let them know they missing the mark or avail yourself of the ignore feature. Take what you need and leave the rest. 

Best


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Don't take people's responses personally. There are a lot of hurting people here. They think that everyone has their problems, but that is not always true.

Like anchor watch said, take what works for you and leave the rest.


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## Jeffk (Nov 15, 2014)

Now I have further proof she is not having an affair. We had a wonderful day together yesterday. We talked, we laughed. And we had me time. It was great ! We had sex TWICE yesterday and I initiated it and she was very receptive. Didn't flinch when I touched her, and WANTED me to touch her, and kiss her. Like I said it was great ! She thought so too. I want to thank everyone who offered good advice. I can't it enough, again, thank you so much !


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## Stillasamountain (Jan 13, 2014)

I sincerely hope that this is, indeed, a turning point in your relationship. Good luck.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

JeffK:

some medications may raise anxiety, but anxiety is NOT paranoia. just because you're anxious and now think she is not having an affair doesn't mean your suspicions were unfounded.
also BTW if someone is depressed it could mean they are much MORE vulnerable to an affair than otherwise....


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