# New Member



## eastvanbabygirl (Mar 2, 2020)

Hello all! Hoping to get some help and insight into some marriage issues....


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

eastvanbabygirl said:


> Hello all! Hoping to get some help and insight into some marriage issues....


Welcome. Hopefully we can help. You have a wide range of experiences to drawn upon here.

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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Welcome to TAM. What are you questions or concerns?


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## eastvanbabygirl (Mar 2, 2020)

Thank you for the welcome! I'm hoping that I will be able to find some help and assurance that I don't imagine things, and that my feelings are important. I know that this should really come from within myself, however my gaslighting husband has finally got to me and I am feeling confused, wrong and very small.

Been married for 14 years (2nd marriage), thought I knew the person I was married to, but it seems that isn't the case. Trying to find help with gaslighting and silent treatment that I get from my husband.... I know people don't change. But the amount of time, tears and stress put into this marriage makes it hard for me to just walk away. I have a very strong feeling he's emotionally cheating on me and using me as a sex doll for when he wants to get off, which hurts and makes me feel worthless and like a tool. Especially since my needs are never met or cared about.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

eastvanbabygirl said:


> Thank you for the welcome! I'm hoping that I will be able to find some help and assurance that I don't imagine things, and that my feelings are important. I know that this should really come from within myself, however my gaslighting husband has finally got to me and I am feeling confused, wrong and very small.


It takes two to gaslight. It sounds like you've decided not to play his game. Good for you!



> But the amount of time, tears and stress put into this marriage makes it hard for me to just walk away.


Sunk cost thinking. As the old saying goes, "don't throw good money after bad." Decide what it takes for you to move forward. Do it. Don't look back and say "what if?"



> I have a very strong feeling he's emotionally cheating on me and using me as a sex doll for when he wants to get off, which hurts and makes me feel worthless and like a tool.


How is he emotionally cheating on you? As far as the sex doll part is concerned, you can fix that immediately. Just say no. 



> Especially since my needs are never met or cared about.


Emotionally, sexually, physically, or all of the above? Specifically, how are your needs not being met?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Welcome to TAM.

You will get all the support and advice you need, here.


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