# Need Guidance



## Tiffi (Mar 1, 2010)

So here is my story,
My Husband and I have been married for 3 years and I got married when I was 18. I am now 21 and he is 25. I recently asked him last week for a separation. We have a lot of issues in our marriage that arose about a year ago. I have asked about counseling but he says he does not want to go. I do love him however I am not sure if I am in love with him anymore. He has recently started lying to me and with holding information from me. He has accused me of cheating which I would never do. I do not believe in that stuff. He also spent our rent money for our apartment back in November which put us up for eviction because we got behind, and finally in Feb we got all caught up. Im sick of being his mommy and cleaning up after him, telling him to take a shower, shave, wear something decent. I get embarrassed when I go out in public with him because he looks like a bum off the side of the street. I am the type of person that takes pride in how I look. But also I am a full time student going to school for Nursing, so I invest a lot of time doing homework and studying, and I work a part time job for a couple of hours during the afternoon. He just expects me to cook, clean, grocery shop, pay the bills. Which honestly I do not mind doing, if he would be willing to give me a helping hand. 
I do love him, and I do not believe in divorce, so I suggested separation, so I can focus on what I need to help our marriage, and I can focus on me as a person. But, he thinks I am joking about it, I asked him to leave and he did for one night came back home, and wont leave even though I keep asking him every night. I do not like to hurt peoples feelings and I am use to being walked all over. But I dont know what to do, all he seems to care about is sex in out marriage, which I have been with holding because of all the stress, pain and everything that is going on. We do not have kids yet, but I do love him. I have also lost a lot of things I came into the marriage with. Like a vehicle my parents bought for me, and he got rid of it without asking me. I was in the military and he didnt support me with it so I got out. I just dont feel like he cares about me. He says he loves me but I believe if you loved someone you would not lie, or hurt them intentionally. And just found out he joined a singles website. I feel lost, and all I can do is cry. How do I know if I am in love or not? What should I do? If any one has any advice please let me know. I just feel really lost and hurting. Thank you.


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Your parents bought you a vehicle, and he got rid of it without asking you? You want to leave, but you've offered reconciliation if he'll go to counseling, but he doesn't think your marriage is worth the effort of going to counseling.

If I were you, I would already have left him. Your feelings for him may be confused, but he's sending you very clear signals: you do not matter to him except as a household servant. You provide him with services and sex, and he contributes the absolute minimum he can in order to get these things from you.

You may cry after you leave him. But he won't spend 10 seconds worrying about you. He has probably already met some women on that dating site. He left for one night; do you know who he spent it with?

You do not have a marriage. He will not be a husband. He cares about you less than he cares about his favorite pair of shoes. Since he won't leave, your best bet is probably to move out with all your stuff and just leave him there by himself. He'll get evicted eventually.


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## JSmith30 (Mar 3, 2010)

I tend to agree, sounds like he is walking all over you and couldn't care less.

leave, reflect, move on.


who doesn't have a shower by the way? sounds wrong


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