# Married 19 Years, Three Children, 3 Month Affair & Abuse



## kylies72 (May 16, 2012)

Hi, I realised that I put my thread in the wrong category. I had entered the below in Coping with Infidelity but I really am looking for support and pointers for my divorce.

I have no idea what to say or how introduce myself but here goes. My name as you probably have figured in reference to my username is Kylie. I have been happily married for 19 years until 6 months ago when I found out that my husband had being having an affair. I have three kids, two boys 15 & 13 and one girl 12. 

My husband told me 6 months ago that he was having an affair for 3 months and ended it because of the guilt. This put so much turmoil in our marriage, our lives and our kids lives for that fact as they now suffer because of his childish actions. 

After lots of thought I let him come back to the matrimonial home about 6 weeks after finding out and after him promising that he would get some help as he claimed to be going through a mid life crisis. 

A month down the track, massive arguments kept on happening and one night after a couple bottles of wine we had a huge argument and he punched me twice in the face for the first time in 19 years followed by alot of shaking and screaming at me, this scared me so much I actually wet myself because never had my husband being so aggressive towards me, my children or anyone else for that matter. 

He has left and I filed for divorce soon after, he gave me $100K so I could buy a car, hire a Lawyer and survive until I found a job. My kids came home two weeks ago after spending the weekend with their Dad and told me he is engaged. I am so angry. 

He wont settle on any offers that I make. He earns $350K a year and is fighting over every little thing and already this has cost me $17,536.98. I now earn $45K a year but wants me to give up the house and sell it because he cant stand the thought of me being in the matrimonial home. 

The kids are getting told so many lies from him and I am copping so much crap from the kids. I just need some support and guidance as to the steps of getting over the anger of him cheating and being engaged already and support through the what seems is going to be a lengthy divorce. 

Any pointers would be great and for those who would like to know, Australia is a no fault law in relation to family law when it comes to infidelity.


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## kylies72 (May 16, 2012)

Below is a reply to someone on this website in my thread:-

In regards to the kids, how on earth are you suppose to keep your cool and be the better person when your oldest child is continuously blaming you for their Dad leaving. My oldest son keeps on telling me that "he is trying to get his life back together Mum" and that I should "give him a break". Those things that my Son has said just repeats over and over in my head all the time, where all I am trying to do is secure a better future for him and his siblings long term.

I wish I could show my kids the text messages and emails that I receive from him daily which are just disgustingly hurtful. To show them how much he is trying to hurt me and for them to realise how much of a man he isn't. But I fear that this could be used against me in court.

So far I have figured that my Oldest Son wants to live with his Dad or at least 50/50 care but I just don't agree as I have spent the last 15 years raising these kids, have put routine in their lives and have being there for them 24/7 whilst their father works to much and clearly sleeps around. I want them to be in the matrimonial home where they have spent most of their lives in. I know my husband has told my kids that 50/50 care should be put in place and the kids have told me he has said that and its all in correspondence between our Lawyers as well. His reasoning for this is so he can spend more time with them. I am just gob smacked because for the last 15 years he has hardly being there and I know it really comes down to money for him because he knows that I will have to pay more in school fees, sporting event fees and etc.

It is so hard to not take out my frustration on my kids but sometimes they cop it because I am sick of being the bad person. There are days where I just want to give up. Its unbelievable that a year ago I was somewhat happy in my marriage.


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