# Transsexual fetish?



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I posted this months ago and we're finished now but I'm still curious. Is it by any means normal for a straight man to want to experiment with a pre op transsexual? is it really an innocent curiosity or could it imply a bit of bi curiosity? Gentlemen, I'd like your input please. I'm genuinely interested in what could have been going through my stbxh's head. Said it's a fantasy he's had since he was a teenager and never told anyone besides me.


----------



## H30 (Nov 23, 2013)

I don't think it's normal by society standards, but I also don't think it is abnormal. 
I think that there is a spectrum of sexuality and gender preferences, I'm mostly straight if I had to label myself, but there has been a woman that I was attracted to. I've never been with a woman and really no desire to, but I think it's more of the person that makes the difference. 
And the whole fantasy thing doesn't necessarily mean he would ever act upon it.


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Oh he already acted upon it. Or started to and backed out after freaking out.


----------



## H30 (Nov 23, 2013)

SepticChange said:


> Oh he already acted upon it. Or started to and backed out after freaking out.


Um....well maybe his curiosity is more than that. 
And sorry, I didn't read the pre-op thing....I don't know that it really matters as far as his sexuality is concerned. 

I guess I'm just in a different school of thought as far as sexual preference. I don't understand why we care, or need labels. I'm LGBTQ friendly, my family is as well. My mother labels herself as lesbian and even she wants to label people even though she teaches courses on diversity and the spectrum of sexuality.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

SepticChange said:


> Oh he already acted upon it. Or started to and backed out after freaking out.


... so he cheated on you.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Well, I come from a LGBT friendly family. One of my brothers is gay and my mother-in-law had lesbian relationships on and off for years and identifies as bisexual. My brother's partner is like family. You are going to get a lot of people here who will say he is flat-out gay. I never understood that ... it doesn't make sense to me. If a gay man sleeps with a woman then does that mean he's secretly a flat out hetero?

Anyway, I do believe there is a spectrum of sexuality. I also believe that men usually fall on one side or the other. That said, I am inclined to believe that this isn't an innocent curiosity. I think it is definitely an inclination to be bi-sexual. I am flat out hetero and there is nothing appealing about a woman with a penis to me ... it is a man. My brother is flat out gay and he is not at all attracted to women ... or even curious about it. I think our culture reinforces that (it's mostly nature but there's some nurture there too); there are other cultures where the lines are more blurred.

I do not think it is as abnormal as people might think. The clientele of male prostitutes, including transsexuals, are primarily married men. There was a huge bust at a local park a year or two ago where a significant number of men were arrested for having sex in public ... with men. The majority of those men were married. Apparently, while not being common, it isn't all that uncommon.


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

*Re: Re: Transsexual fetish?*



JustSomeGuyWho said:


> ... so he cheated on you.




Yes that's considered cheating


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

*Re: Re: Transsexual fetish?*



H30 said:


> Um....well maybe his curiosity is more than that.
> And sorry, I didn't read the pre-op thing....I don't know that it really matters as far as his sexuality is concerned.
> 
> I guess I'm just in a different school of thought as far as sexual preference. I don't understand why we care, or need labels. I'm LGBTQ friendly, my family is as well. My mother labels herself as lesbian and even she wants to label people even though she teaches courses on diversity and the spectrum of sexuality.



Well like they joke...a good number of homophobes are secretly hiding homosexual desires...

I recently read a blog about how some straight men just like the taboo aspect of it.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

SepticChange said:


> Yes that's considered cheating


Ha! I know it's cheating ... my point was that it kinda makes the whole innocent curiosity question moot.


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I suppose so


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

SepticChange said:


> I suppose so


It sounds as if this is something you are struggling with. The question didn't come out of nowhere ... so I'm curious if there is an answer you were hoping for ...


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

SepticChange said:


> Is it by any means normal for a straight man to want to experiment with a pre op transsexual?


No. Let me put it this way: I'm assuming you are a straight woman. Do you have any desire to have sex with a woman who is pre-op transitioning to a man?




> _is it really an innocent curiosity or could it imply a bit of bi curiosity? _


It's unlikely to be bi curiosity, more likely simply homosexuality. Studies have shown that very few men are actually bisexual. I don't know your husband, but the chances are strong that he is actually homosexual, but fixated on this transsexual thing because that way he can pretend he's still straight while he's messing with men. I would be willing to bet money on that if I could.


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

*Re: Re: Transsexual fetish?*



JustSomeGuyWho said:


> It sounds as if this is something you are struggling with. The question didn't come out of nowhere ... so I'm curious if there is an answer you were hoping for ...


I'm just wanting to know what's going through his head. He has a very promiscuous past with women so even to me it came out of nowhere. But then he did admit that he's thought about it since he was a teen..


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I guess I should add that I snooped on his twitter account months ago and saw that he followed a lot of trannies heh. When talking about his brief escapade he referred to her as a woman. Denial? Ladies, what would you think?


----------



## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

SepticChange said:


> I guess I should add that I snooped on his twitter account months ago and saw that he followed a lot of trannies heh. When talking about his brief escapade he referred to her as a woman. Denial? Ladies, what would you think?



My SO, who does identify as bi, has expressed interest in mtf trans people, as long as they have boobs _ and_ a penis. 
It's an extreme thing, and he's into extreme stuff. 

Anyway, to answer the question in your OP, it sounds sort of like your ex might just be into the anal stimulation/prostrate play aspect of it, but is still sexually attracted to only women - not necessarily men. He's not looking for gay guys, right? Just the ones that _look_ like women. 
Not sure what the correct label is for that one, if you're looking for a label for him, but one of my SO's friends was like that. Just wanted a woman with a penis.


----------



## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

Several years ago when I watched a fair amount of porn, I got into a brief fascination with tranny porn, mostly Asian ladyboy stuff. All of it was essentially "chick with a d!ck" sort of stuff.

I would consider myself a VERY straight male, but for whatever reason, I sought this genre out, probably for the taboo aspect of it as much as anything.

In thinking about this further, I would say that I have no interest in ever acting out on this. I certainly wouldn't want a tranny to put his/her c*ck in my a$$, but the thought of other sexual acts with a tranny doesn't seem too far out there, either.

I think in this instance (like so many others) the difference between fantasy and acting out the fantasy (like the OP's H did) is HUGE.


----------



## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

NM, double post...


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Thanks for your input. Keeper63, what other sexual acts with a tranny would be acceptable?


----------



## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

Oral on me, perhaps...


----------



## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Actually this is a lot more common than a lot of guys want to admit. Keeper63 is being honest, and it is one of the most searched things on the internet.

Guys like their own C**** and seeing one on a Tranny, especially when she is small and hot like the asian ladyboys, is very taboo, and in a train wreck sort of way guys are attracted to this.

I myself have been wondering of late what is a guy thinking when he gets turned on by masturbating? He's not touching a woman, he is touching a man - himself - and guys do get turned on by their own hardness. So I do not think it is much of a stretch to extend this to an interest in Trannies. The fact that the tranny is partially "woman" probably makes it a little more acceptable, and yet also a little more taboo.

But if we were to back track a little and look at your average male /female porn we will see that the emphasis is on a big C***. I honestly do not think this is for the ladies...

Anyways - not to make too much out of this - but guys can be pretty out there with their sexual fetishes and interests. Most of it is just curiosity, or the freak-show / train wreck effect.

There is also something called the Novelty effect - and it is akin to the Coolidge effect. Some guy is browsing for porn and along comes ladyboys, which he has never seen before, and the novelty of it draws his interest. Most of the time he satiates his curiosity and it loses its appeal and he abandons that genre.

Unless your man has lost himself in this then I would not be concerned. Most men have fantasies that they would not want to admit to, nor would they really want to try them either. It seems as though yours did try it, but the reality of it was less than he thought it would be and he backed out.

And is it cheating? Well, it is not what I would want my partner to be doing.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Women look at all kinds of freaky sh*t, too.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

...which actually isn't ok, IMO, if you are married and your spouse doesn't know what you are up to.


----------



## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Women look at all kinds of freaky sh*t, too.


"I KNEW it!" (At this point my brother would laugh because he is a huge fan of the show "Friends" - and I was channeling Chandler...)

Actually, I did NOT know this....


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

OMG Jim...I literally cannot type out some of the things my female friends have told me they have looked at...deliberately searched out and looked at. Just figure that anything men have looked at, women are looking at it, too.


----------



## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

FW, I'd like to know what sorts of things the womenfolk are looking at, it would be very interesting.

Getting back to the tranny fetish, I really don't think it's gay at all, probably more of a novelty thing. I don't have any interest in it anymore anyway. I had a GF in college who actually preferred anal sex over PIV, and one of the reasons we broke it off was because I didn't enjoy anal anymore. I didn't enjoy the smell or the prep or the "residue" or any of that. I'm actually glad my wife and I tried it a few times, and mutually decided it wasn't for us. I couldn't imagine giving or receiving anal with a tranny, I wouldn't enjoy it with a sexy woman much less a tranny.

With respect to oral sex, I think I would be OK with receiving from a tranny (at least in theory, as I don't intend to ever act on it), but don't think I could bring myself to perform oral on a tranny, that seems like a line I could not cross. I know that sounds hypocritical, but that's how I feel about it.

When I was watching tranny porn, I seemed to enjoy watching the participants give each other oral, but the anal, not so much.


----------



## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

as a bi male with plenty of experience, I have to say that trannies gross me out.


----------



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I just don't get him. Like...did he cheat because I had the wrong body parts or what?? Ex spouses are just so strange.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

SepticChange said:


> I just don't get him. Like...did he cheat because I had the wrong body parts or what?? Ex spouses are just so strange.


He cheated because he is a cheater.

Look, I am in a sexless marriage. That means I don't have sex with women even though I am straight (and horny as hell). I would like nothing more than have intimacy in my life but I don't. I have a few choices ... continue to work on my marriage, get a divorce, accept abstinence ... or cheat. I have had opportunities to cheat ... and yet I choose not to cheat even if that means I don't get the sex that I want.

He had choices too. He could have resisted however you want to define his curiosity and focused on what he had with you, he could have asked for a divorce before exploring those things ... or he could have cheated. He chose to cheat.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

keeper...like I said, anything that exists, even if you think it is so "male oriented" that no woman would ever watch it...women ARE watching it.

One of the biggest ones (the easiest example) is gale male porn, a lot of women love it.


----------



## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

My wife had a roommate in college who had a huge collection of gay male porn. I discovered some of it during a visit one morning while hungover sitting on the potty. I was so shocked, I almost couldn't go...that happened in 1983.


----------

