# Exodus...



## Orpheus

it's been a few months since i had a thread in Going Through. and i've been handling things much better than the first six months of her moving out. but New Year's was much more difficult than i anticipated. i've felt mostly horrible and depressed for the past few days... worse than christmas.

and then this morning i got a priority fedex with my final divorce papers.

there was a sterile note attached to the docs about holding on to it for safe keeping. and to the front of it she attached a christmas card. wishing me well and letting me know that she's available if i ever want a "friendly chat". 

so as of December 28th, but really this morning, i'm officially divorced.

i guess i could go back to thinking that is one less thing to think about and what not, but the damned card with the sidestepping friendliness just infuriates me. when i'd wanted to talk with her over the past 7 mos she would tell me that "we'd already talked" on one occasion. 

anyway. i've officially graduated.


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## Dollystanford

Welcome to the club - certainly knows how to push your buttons doesn't she? I don't know her at all but it sounds pretty condescending. Why the f*ck would you want a 'friendly chat' with someone who treated you like sh*t I wonder

anyway, chin chin - life goes on and gets better x


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## vi_bride04

Another member huh? 

Keep moving forward.


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## Orpheus

I had a good "final" cry and allowed myself to meltdown a bit this morning and then went for a long 36º bike ride.

Thank you Dolly and vi_. I'm going to be spending less time in the other forum for a while. I just don't have the empathy for it at present. And my comments have been more caustic this week which is not very appropriate for new comers.

So, I'm turning this leaf and hoping that i catch some sort of break in 2013. If i can get my finances straight i think i could finally push forward. Learning the other week that her during-marriage law degree is an asset in the state of New York has made the high-road i chose a bitter pill to swallow, when thousands become millions. ....anyway. that was yesterday.

need to to get in better shape, get my career straightened and get laid. the unholy trinity.

...

so am i "divorced" or "single", what's the etiquette on that?


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## angelpixie

I really don't think it matters anymore. I think most people assume that an unmarried person beyond a certain age has most likely been divorced, rather than never married. 

The pertinent info is that you're presently not married. How you define yourself is up to you, methinks.

Good question, though. I hadn't really thought about it in regards to myself, but I guess I should, seeing as I'll be joining the club, hopefully very soon. FB status has been blank for 2 years now, so that won't need to change.


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## Orpheus

what are you doing in this forum. impostor! or is that im-poster?!

i was comfortable with the pariah of being Divorced while i was going through the process as it seemed to sort of present me as damaged goods. My FB status has been private for a while now. But i'm thinking of going "Single" because even though i'm divorced... i'm looking to mingle. and yes ladies, i'm look at you... through a sea of yarn and thoughts most inappropriate.


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## angelpixie

Well, then. Looks like I'll be most welcome in these parts when the time officially arrives.

ETA: Oh!! my 7000th post! Lucky you.


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## Dollystanford

I'm single
Being divorced means I'm still attached to him in some way and I don't want to be

If someone asks me if I've been married then I'll tell them

But as far as I'm concerned I is young and single and I luuuurves to mingle

you dig?


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## Orpheus

Good point. Dolly, I dig you so much i would bury you. hmm, it sounded less threatening in my head.

AP, what do i win for being the 7000th visitor to your altar? or is that the other way around?


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## Dollystanford

Well now, if I consult my TAM Cliff Notes it says that 7000 posts on YOUR thread mean you owe her big boy. You OWE her.
So what are you going to give her, hmmmmm?


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## Orpheus

...in negotiations... one moment... will advise.


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## Orpheus

you know, i've come a long way from whinging about my ex-wife this morning.


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## jpr

Hey Orpheus, 

I am here now, too.  Officially.

My divorce was finalized in court a couple of weeks ago. My lawyer called me a few days before Christmas and said, "Consider this an early Christmas present. You, Ms. Jpr, are going to be just fine. " 

Whatever. 

I actually thought my divorce was finalized a few weeks prior to that phonecall.  I didn't realize that it took a couple of weeks from the court to process it.

My final divorce decree came in the mail a couple of days ago. I didn't open it for a few days, and I just opened it tonight. I read that letter that states that the paperwork will be kept on file for 7 years. ...but, I didn't read the actual decree. I just filed it away in my file folder entitled "Bye" (<--thanks for that idea Dolly! )

It is strange, though, that something I held so near and dear--my marriage...something that I valued and never thought would end has been terminated by a few pages of paper and a few signatures. 

Strange ...sad ...*sigh*

I have been getting this strange feeling when I wake up though...like I am missing something. Like I left the oven on, or like I left my wallet somewhere. I sort of panic (for a milli-second) and then I realize that Sasquatch is no longer here. And, that feels strange and not quite right....even though he has been gone from my home for 16 months. I am now starting to panic (slightly...for like a mili-second) when I realize he is not here and never coming back. 

Right now, something does feel odd in my life. :scratchhead: ...if I stop and think about it.

No crying. ...but tinges of sadness do pop up in my brain.

Anyway...I rambled. Took a double dose of Nyquil.


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## Orpheus

jpr said:


> Strange ...sad ...*sigh*


crazy that we both went through paperwork today. i didn't even read mine... form letter with both of our names regurgitated every page or two. stamped and dated. whavves.

no pomp. no ceremony.

i've been having what you're having with sassy but for different reasons. i get hit really hard by NYE. which is odd because i don't hold much in store for that day and it wasn't a big deal for me and xw. and yet... i guess it's more of a couples holiday than xmas. a sort of fake anniversary. or THE "anniversary" as it were. So it was odd for me to be wrestling with that 3rd month type of misery at the doorstep of freedom. some sort of cosmic windup.

still pissed about the card she sent me. grrr.

welcome to the other side of the mountain. let's kick some life into this old forum.


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## soca70

Man don't leave us high and dry over there. It sucks that you "graduated" but we still need your mentoring


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## Orpheus

i'm not gone Soca... just more removed. for instance, it hasn't stopped me from flirting with SpunkySpunky. and i still keep an eye on you and bryane and a few others but i don't have the energy to take on new heartbreak at the moment.

besides, graduation is hardly the merit badge you imply it is. maybe it is. i'm just too close to the blast zone at the moment.


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## WillPrez

Yes obviously need for that!


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## cantmove

I wish I had something uplifting and eloquent to say. Sadly, I do not. I was supposed to sign my papers yesterday, now moved to next week. So sick of lawyers and fighting with nutless. For some reason, I think I'm not going to be sad when my papers are finalized. I'm so sick of thinking about divorce. It might be nice to think about something else. I don't know what the he11 that will be though.

Anyway, thinking about you.


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## Orpheus

cantmove said:


> Anyway, thinking about you.


Hey hotstuff, looks like yesterday was loaded for a lot of us. 

thanks for stopping by to visit. i think you'll find, like many of us, that things get MUCH better after the signing. The pre-signing dread is no fun. After you sign you get a reprieve until the actual docs come.


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## unsure78

i have been officially divorced for 8 months now (holy [email protected] where did the time go?) im still down on occasion, not missing ex, but missing that "family life". Im guessing that doesn't go away for a long time.

nice to see you O, and that you are doing well
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Orpheus

Hi Unsure!

Doing a bit better today. Most the stuff that has me down is now the stuff in my life that i control and not baggage about her. mostly. last night was a lot of tossing and turning about being angry about listing all the things she did the screw up the relationship vs. her "friendly chat" christmas card yesterday. 

i digress.

somewhere at about the 6 mos separation point, i stopped being able to remember her smile and laugh. her scent. and a lot of details. she became more of a memory rather than a person. barring yesterday, it's been much better since i filed for the second time.


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## Orpheus

35º. Recovering from riding outside for an hour and a half. Always makes me feel better. ALWAYS. Must boost my testosterone too because my sexdrive is working overtime. Where are those rambling divorcee threads again?

"All Mods Con" on the stereo and the day is looking up.


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## angelpixie

'Rambling divorcees' -- :scratchhead:

Is that akin to Bunny Boilers? Sounds vaguely threatening...


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## Orpheus

perhaps it depends on the context.


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## Dollystanford

it's taken me 10 years to realise that exercise is awesome and better than laying around smoking cigarettes

but better late than never huh


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## angelpixie

Since I don't think you check the Dedicate a Song thread:

Led Zeppelin - Ramble On (Studio Version - Best Quality) - YouTube


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## Orpheus

Dolly, there's a time and place for everything dearie. Until i perfect drunken yoga, the world is a hodgepodge of things things that are good for me; and things that i do.

AP, thanks for the Zep. And no, i don't really get to the Dedication thread.


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## Orpheus

accidental brit-a-thon here today: The Jam; UNKLE; Bowie and then Kate Bush


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## angelpixie

Ahhh, which Auntie Kate? My h.s. speech coach introduced me to her.


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## Orpheus

hi def version of The Sensual World. Just the right amount of remorse and conviction to chase yesterday with. Plus the sun has gone down and i grow more morose.


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## angelpixie

Hands down my favorite by her. So many good songs. 'Love and Anger' seems to span my relationship with you-know-who from the beginning to it's sordid end, better than any song I've heard.

Feel the feelings, but don't let them bury you, sweetie. You know the sun will be back.


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## Dollystanford

ahhh Mad Auntie Kate, they don't make them like her now

the Brit-a-thon is not accidental, we are a bunch of miserable bastards when we want to be and it often suits a morose mood

just try and avoid the Smiths


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## angelpixie

Dollystanford said:


> just try and avoid the Smiths


Was that a dare?


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## Dollystanford

Moi?


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## angelpixie

I couldn't tell if that was friendly advice, or a friendly challenge. You know, all friendly.


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## Orpheus

check. 

Oh snap, there was that last Bauhaus record in the mix early on too. But by that time they more qualify for some sort of trans American-Turkish hybrid.

Hmm. Maybe just a few bars of Smiths? That Johnny Marr can play a guitar. no. no. Evening's trending towards Randy Newman and Tom Waits.


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## angelpixie

Hmmmm...that's distressing.


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## Orpheus

cold dark night. warm interior light. a hint or two of whiskey. piano + voice lapping at the speakers. where's your sense of the sublime Pixette?


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## angelpixie

Well, when you put it that way.... that's much different from the ways I've experience those artists in the past...tell me more... *leans chin on hands*


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## Freak On a Leash

Welcome to the Dark Side! I too am in the process of filing but the STBXH has agreed to an amicable, uncontested D so hopefully the process will be over sooner than later. 

I've always felt more "at home" on this forum because mentally I've been divorced from my H for awhile now, especially in this past year. I'm ready to move on. Our marriage was pretty bad for years and this is something I've been wanting a long time but it took awhile to get here. Now that I'm here, I'm glad to be here. 

All this talk of music...Time to get into this century!

Here's a song I dedicate to everyone in this forum. Enjoy! 

Three Days Grace - Life Starts Now (Lyrics) - YouTube


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## angelpixie

(Don't break the mood, FOAL)


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## Freak On a Leash

:lol: :rofl: Whats the mood? :scratchhead:


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## angelpixie

The music-of-last-century vibe, and all that goes with it. As posted above.


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## Orpheus

Freak On a Leash said:


> All this talk of music...Time to get into this century!
> 
> Here's a song I dedicate to everyone in this forum. Enjoy!



i don't know, pet. i like a girl that can still kiss after a 25 year marriage but your taste in music is a bit "boardwalk after Sandy" if you catch my driftwood. 

besides, almost half the bands i listed earlier were albums from the last 10 years. Piano music excluded.


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## Freak On a Leash

Orpheus said:


> i don't know, pet. i like a girl that can still kiss after a 25 year marriage but your taste in music is a bit "boardwalk after Sandy" if you catch my driftwood.
> 
> besides, almost half the bands i listed earlier were albums from the last 10 years. Piano music excluded.


I can do more than just kiss.  

"Boardwalk after Sandy?" You are talking to a Jersey Gal who has seen half the shore ripped up! Ouch. 

Come on, you don't like Three Days Grace? That's a freakin' awesome song! :slap:

Well, I've always been into the loud and raucous type of tunes. It's how I express myself.  It's all good.


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## Orpheus

Freak On a Leash said:


> It's all good.


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## Orpheus

trying to contain the meltdown today. the anxiety just keeps ramping up. most people talk about the liberation after the divorce papers. i feel like i'm back on month 3 and my internal dialogue is in overdrive. i'm literally screaming at her inside my head. 

went to bed early last night in anticipation of going to this drunken concert that happens once a year at this time, as part of a live radio broadcast... in Hoboken NJ. The train down there was confused and i tried to correct it but it eventually became me walking through lower manhattan trying to find the jersey train with an open station and finally giving up and coming home. so a two hour commute on sunday morning for naught. the entire time i could have circumvented things and gone directly to the venue but i kept making my situation worse.

also had a nightmare about both my ex-dog and the job that caused me so much misery a few years ago. from like 4-8 this morning. so, losing sleep and high anxiety. f*ck, i don't want to be back here again.

at least i have a layer (< just typed that lawyer, nice freudian slip (ex being a lawyer)) of awareness over the top of all the hell to sort of contain it but it keeps ramping up. 

i guess the annual event today made it a sort of 3rd holiday event of sorts. there is a very small chance she could be there. but more to the point, i have a dialogue with her there. 

i've achieved freedom but i am far from liberated. f'me. i'd rather be chatting about being drunk and chasing tail.


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## Dollystanford

I guess we can't all be flint-hearted ice queens like moi so it's only natural but come now, stiff upper lip old chap!

I'm two martinis down but can't talk about 'tail' (ugh, really dear?)


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## Orpheus

well, old girl, i did sort of preface the mess with only being lightly hinged. i know i know better; but i'm a chemical ****tail of ugly this weekend.

speaking of which. perhaps a drink is in order. now, what was that you were saying about your being heartless and my eyes?


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## Dollystanford

I know nothing about your eyes. The future's so bright you appear to be wearing shades


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## Orpheus

Excuse me madame, i appear to be waiting for 3rd drink dolly.


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## Orpheus

In any event, I wear my sunglasses at night so I can watch you weave then breathe your story lines...


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## Dollystanford

OK, third drink Dolly (also known as 'truth Dolly')

Stop moping - you're young (ish - heheh) and live in one of the best cities in the world. Don't wallow, your marriage broke up - yes life sucks total balls sometimes - but we're all pretty much in the same boat

What matters is how you deal with it - if drinking is your thing then fine but have a drink and GO OUT, do something, anything. Do you know what I'd give to be drunk and rolling around NYC?

Who wants someone who doesn't want them? Not me girlfriend
*finger snap*

Now, James Bond needs me


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## Orpheus

i'm nearly certain that 5th or 6th drink dolly and i are going to to come to blows. 

yes, i'm wallowing. but i'm wallowing in the shadow of my divorce finalizing not just rando ladies' night wednesday. but as i said before, you're right.

until then, should you decree to include nyc in your tour of the colonies i would not find it hard to decorate your gullet with all manner of specimen from our city's fair bartenders. truth be told, your sleepy little island isn't too shabby when it comes to drinking so... so.

Goodnight, Moneypenny.


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## Dollystanford

Yes I know the reasons and I'm not trying to make light of it. But it's done now, be careful not to let it go on too long. Get drunk, have a rant, then take your life back

Unfortunately this is the Bond era that started to get a bit obvious - she's looking for keys and he says 'choose the big one'

I mean come on

6th drink Dolly could kick your ass by the way


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## Orpheus

my drinking friends refer to me as The Most Dangerous Man in New York. Not because you couldn't kick my ass but because i could drink you into a ditch, love.

thanks for the tough love. to paraphrase an old joke: is there any other kind?


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## Dollystanford

there's nothing a Brit loves more than a drinking challenge


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## Freak On a Leash

Dollystanford said:


> The future's so bright you appear to be wearing shades


Timbuk 3.



Orpheus said:


> I wear my sunglasses at night


Corey Hart. 

'80s tunes. 

I lived in NYC in the '80s...

_Surprise, party!
Yeah, we just thought we'd drop in
Where's your icebox?
Where's the punch?
Eww, hows the Tofu?

Who's to blame, when parties really get out of hand?
Who's to blame, when they get poorly planned?_


B-52S - PARTY OUT OF BOUNDS :toast:


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## jpr

Well, this is double dose of Nyquil + 1/2 beer Jpr talking...

Aren't you tried of this misery by now, Orpheus?

We can keep looking for events and keep fishing out memories and feelings and anxieties associated with what we lost....but, I don't know. I think I am at the point where I am just tried of all that...all that misery and reflection and glum.

 Receiving the paperwork in the mail made me pause for a while.................perhaps brought back some melancholiness. (<--...is that a word. :scratchhead:...probably not) But, well, life goes on. ....and I am just so tired of letting these 'events'-- signing paperwork/getting paperwork affect my mood and my life.

I stopped giving these events any sort of importance or meaning in my life. 

Life is too short to wallow needlessly.


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## Orpheus

i agree with your sleepy narced-up slightly boozy sentiments jpr... but you're a great deal ahead of me aren't you? i know that i need to just deal with my sh!t. just having a bad weekend. not reinventing the wheel here.

oh, and Foal... you totally don't get to go back in and re-edit posts in an attempt to illustrate that you lived on the good side of the hudson.


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## jpr

Choose your attitude, Dude.


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## Orpheus

jpr said:


> Choose your attitude, Dude.


...from the mouth of babes.

you and dolly are more battleships than nursemaids but you're each sweet in your own ways.

g'night jpr. hope you feel better soon. (nyquil).


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## Dollystanford

yes well only babes in arms need nursemaids

real men need RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR 

right?


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## jpr

:cat:

rawr?


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## angelpixie

Dollystanford said:


> real men need RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR


You rang?


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## Orpheus

you three ladies not only have me decidedly out-classed but most assuredly out-manned this evening.

thanks for the incredible timing and hammering wit.


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## Dollystanford

do I detect a lack of sincerity there? Soo wounded


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## Orpheus

No, my darling. Admitting defeat before I trundle off. You girls are a marvel.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jpr

Every time I read the title to this thread, the theme song of the 1960's movie "Exodus" plays in my head.


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## angelpixie

You gotta love a girl who knows her 60's movie theme songs. Dtusf!


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## Dollystanford

don't grab defeat from the jaws of victory

wrestle it to the ground and stab it through the heart (we call it the 'London Teenager method')


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## angelpixie

Dollystanford said:


> don't grab defeat from the jaws of victory
> 
> wrestle it to the ground and stab it through the heart (we call it the 'London Teenager method')


:rofl:


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## Freak On a Leash

Orpheus said:


> oh, and Foal... you totally don't get to go back in and re-edit posts in an attempt to illustrate that you lived on the good side of the hudson.


So were you born sanctimonious and arrogant or did you have to work hard to get that way? 

I always re-edit my posts. I like to make them neat and tidy. Call it OCD or whatever. It's what I do. 

I think I'm going to avoid your threads. In my own Private Idaho I tend to be civil to those who post and try not to put them down just for the sake of doing so. 

You might want to knock that chip off your shoulder and take a chill pill. We are all here wrestling our demons and dealing with our past lives. You aren't alone but the way you come off you probably should be. :loser:

Freak on a Leash has left the building...


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## Orpheus

Freak On a Leash said:


> So were you born sanctimonious and arrogant or did you have to work hard to get that way?
> 
> I always re-edit my posts. I like to make them neat and tidy. Call it OCD or whatever. It's what I do.
> 
> I think I'm going to avoid your threads. In my own Private Idaho I tend to be civil to those who post and try not to put them down just for the sake of doing so.
> 
> You might want to knock that chip off your shoulder and take a chill pill. We are all here wrestling our demons and dealing with our past lives. You aren't alone but the way you come off you probably should be. :loser:
> 
> Freak on a Leash has left the building...


Eesh. I guess context is king. Foal, if you hadn't engaged me playfully then I wouldn't have played back. 

My apologies. I will know better in the future to not engage you with such familiarity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford

and the beauty of hard liquor is....no hangover!! :smthumbup:


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## Dollystanford

So how are you doing today Orpheus? Did our brickbats help? Or do you need fluff and snuggles?


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## angelpixie

Dollystanford said:


> Or do you need fluff and snuggles?


You rang?


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## Dollystanford

oooh, soft, oily, almond-smelling snuggles - who can resist


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## Orpheus

trending better. not without my druthers but no longer drowning in them. despite last night's late odd sniper job.

the coven-of-lovin' did a formidable job of shoring me up yesterday. you three girls are not to be trifled with.


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## angelpixie

Coven-of-lovin' -- I believe that should be our new band name. 

Glad to hear things are on the upswing, sweetie.


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## Dollystanford

good man, let's keep that trajectory on the right track yes?

angel I just noticed your signature ahahahahah


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## angelpixie




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## jpr

Sorry, O.

Didn't mean to slap you around so much yesterday.

I'm glad to hear you are doing a bit better today.


Orpheus' Theme


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## Dollystanford

I think he kind of enjoyed it jpr

I mean, who wouldn't


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## Orpheus

jpr,

you, dolly and angel were all aces. i thought so then; and now.


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## Orpheus

so it was mourning. it finally dawned on me that the restlessness post divorce was me mourning not the relationship but the last bit of hope. the part deep down that wondered if there would be some moment of weakness from the ice queen. there was a part of me that was waiting for that last shoe to drop and on Friday it did. 

I'm still a bit sad but no longer derailed.

Very thankful for the coven-of-lovin for shoveling me out of the weekend.


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## Dollystanford

You know, that final nail in the coffin is what it took to really shake me out of it. When he moved Granny Soulmate in I knew I was truly free. 

Bit of a frightener because now it's down to you and only you to make your life what you want it to be. But then if you're a control freak like moi that might suit you 

Chin and bottoms up dear


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## jpr

You're welcome.


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## angelpixie

You know, Dolly, I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what event it was that made me turn that emotional corner. I think it was Trampire moving in that did it for me, too. I think I really truly feel I've passed the baton. She can carry him now. 

Psy doc and I are experimenting with taking me off one of my two A/Ds. I anticipate I won't be needing to medicate as much in the future. :smthumbup: 

Unless it's a nice vintage of something or other, served in an antique glass. 

I think we all hit our own personal lows, and it's all up from here.


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## vi_bride04

angelpixie said:


> You know, Dolly, I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what event it was that made me turn that emotional corner. I think it was Trampire moving in that did it for me, too. I think I really truly feel I've passed the baton. She can carry him now.


Don't mean to thread jack but I know learning of my ex's engagement and realized that she is probably living with him helped me turn the corner too. It really helped me realized how much he does suck.

I don't know why, but realizing that they have someone else to feed their narcissistic ego instead of trying to suck the life out of you...well...it just feels really good to know you are FREE of that b.s.!


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## Dollystanford

Well that and realising I no longer have to deal with his mother at Xmas time 

In fact, at any time 

The other hilarious thing is that he's now working even longer hours than he was working when he was with me which means she can sit at 'home' on her own twiddling her thumbs now


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## angelpixie

So, Orpheus, how are you doing today?


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## Orpheus

adequate on xwife stuff. dealing with my own private fiscal cliff. and just got back from riding where i've manage a respectable lap time at central park with this very unusual 48º weather we have this week.

it may just be the endorphins talking. speaking of which, i've cranked up the yoga mill here and it finally dawned on me that it's impossible to be either anxious or unhappy after yoga. immediately after, at least. should just be a mandatory part of the recovery process. Plus, that Ana Brett is easy on the eyes.

How's every little thing in Momtana and the UK, ladies?


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## angelpixie

Momtana is grey and melty and the snow's all dirty.  An unfortunate side effect of our annual mid-January (more or less) warm-up. But I get to use my 70's bubble umbrella and wear my 80's wet look cherry red rain jacket, so I'm turning it around. :smthumbup:

Changing beneficiaries on my life insurance this afternoon. Now I can finally relax that Chinless isn't going to murder me for the payout.  

Maybe I've been cataloging too much film noir lately...


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## Dollystanford

The UK is grey. Grey as Morrissey's mood on a moist, drizzly Monday morning.

Me? I'm feeling pretty spiffing - I'm two weeks smoke free, exercising every day and feeling rather chipper. Single life suits me rather well, as I always knew it would


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## Orpheus

aren't you a ray of sunshine wrapped in a very complicated package! Congrats. surprised you aren't chewing your arm off after 2 weeks off the smokes. Patch/gum?

your Mr. Morrissey was on our David Letterman the other night shilling the new album. the cut he played was nice. not go out and buy it nice but enough that it caught my whimsy.

glad to hear you're well, darling.


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## Dollystanford

No patch, no gum, no ecigs
Just cold hard willpower RAAAAAAAAWR


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## Orpheus

hard as nails, hotstuff. good on ya'.

i can stomach people on the supplemental drugs ... because i get it. but i can't abide those ecigs one moment. that and troubadours. the world is better off without either.


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## soca70

angelpixie said:


> Momtana is grey and melty and the snow's all dirty.  An unfortunate side effect of our annual mid-January (more or less) warm-up. But I get to use my 70's bubble umbrella and wear my 80's wet look cherry red rain jacket, so I'm turning it around. :smthumbup:
> 
> Changing beneficiaries on my life insurance this afternoon. Now I can finally relax that Chinless isn't going to murder me for the payout.
> 
> Maybe I've been cataloging too much film noir lately...


Angel- do you iive in Montana (Momtana)? I used to spend a lot of time there and thought western Montana was spectacular (Kalispel/Glacier National area). I loved the folks in Helena.


----------



## angelpixie

soca70 said:


> Angel- do you iive in Montana (Momtana)? I used to spend a lot of time there and thought western Montana was spectacular (Kalispel/Glacier National area). I loved the folks in Helena.


Yep, in the western part of the state, but not in the places you mentioned.  The people are nice here, too. Especially us girls.


----------



## soca70

That's great! One of the wildest evenings I've had for business took place in Lewistown in the middle of nowhere at the Yogo Inn where my clients were having a conference. It ended with a long night of drunken karaoke in the lounge and this cowboy dude who kept jumping up on the bar buck-naked while his sobbing girlfriend kept trying to get him to come down. She's probably a fellow TAMMer at this point.


----------



## angelpixie

:rofl:


----------



## vi_bride04

soca70 said:


> That's great! One of the wildest evenings I've had for business took place in Lewistown in the middle of nowhere at the Yogo Inn where my clients were having a conference. It ended with a long night of drunken karaoke in the lounge and this cowboy dude who kept jumping up on the bar buck-naked while his sobbing girlfriend kept trying to get him to come down. She's probably a fellow TAMMer at this point.


WHOA!!!!!! I need to go to THAT BAR!!!!!! lmao!!!!

:smthumbup:


----------



## Orpheus

I don't know why she wouldn't let me dance and sing. I just like feeling the breeze on my naked thighs and when the juke box starts to play anything by Peter Allen... I just got to sing. Yeehaw!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford

I'm assuming you don't mean Peter Allen, BBC Radio Five Live presenter


----------



## angelpixie

Nooooo, I'm pretty sure he means this Peter Allen. Was your gf's name Liza, by any chance?

For some reason, your post brings







to mind.


----------



## Orpheus

naked cowboy dancing on a bar evokes a sort of...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=592MkMV-Uog


----------



## soca70

Is this what Conrad means when he advises to rediscover your zest for life?


----------



## Orpheus

i'm almost certain. i don't want to put words in his mouth. or maracas in his hands. but just short of slander, that is how i imagine him.


----------



## Orpheus

grrr. totally in that gray area between having good posture and not having good posture where the yoga wants you to be an upright superstar and your hunched over a desk norm wants you to get a cupcake. that back tension is just maddening. one or the other please. signed, agitated and upright.


----------



## Orpheus

601. Drunk. Williamsburg Brklyn. Somebody broke out 80s rock ballads on the juke. Ginning up for a Friday night art crawl.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## coachman

Remember #3 on your unholy trinity.. Make it happen.


----------



## Orpheus

Do not abstractly toy with drunk people! Make what happen?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

Chuck Berry fixes almost everything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## coachman

Take some tail home and seal the deal.


----------



## angelpixie

What 80s ballad did he sing?


----------



## Dollystanford

yea drunken stranger sex makes everything sweeeeeet

or does it


----------



## vi_bride04

Dollystanford said:


> yea drunken stranger sex makes everything sweeeeeet
> 
> or does it


No! Lol


----------



## coachman

Not sure about you Dolly, but I've had some pretty sweet drunken stranger sex. Not always a bad thing...Orpheus will have to let us know.


----------



## Orpheus

Wait a min, I'm getting contradictory advice about how much stranger sex I should have. Ripe crowd though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

Angel, Bon Jovi. Shot through the Heart.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## vi_bride04

If i was a guy i would have lots of drunk stranger sex probably cuz no matter what i would"finish"

Being a woman that nice finale doesn't happen everytime, especially with stranger drunk sex!


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> Angel, Bon Jovi. Shot through the Heart.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Pardon moi? :scratchhead:


----------



## Dollystanford

coachman said:


> Not sure about you Dolly, but I've had some pretty sweet drunken stranger sex. Not always a bad thing...Orpheus will have to let us know.


yeah sure when I was in my 20s, somewhat more carefree and less likely to wake up, turn over and go 'what the F*CK is that'


----------



## coachman

Dollystanford said:


> yeah sure when I was in my 20s, somewhat more carefree and less likely to wake up, turn over and go 'what the F*CK is that'


Sounds like it's time to give it another shot...you just might enjoy it. I would advise to pick your target a little earlier in the evening. Less likely of a "wtf" moment in the morning.  

Or not of course..


----------



## soca70

vi_bride04 said:


> If i was a guy i would have lots of drunk stranger sex probably cuz no matter what i would"finish"


From unfortunate experience, I can assure this is not always the case.


----------



## vi_bride04

soca70 said:


> From unfortunate experience, I can assure this is not always the case.


Still more frequently than a female!!!!


----------



## Orpheus

Ah. All of you from your ivory tower. Imagine trying to score but first accidentally throwing scalding coffee on your crotch. Oh the merriment. You continue with your closing game and yet you reek of dripped coffee and failure. 

Would you like cream with that? No, I'm good. Good and alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

too drunk to search for anything other than bleach to rid me of the Folgers stench radiating from my Calvins. nice try though AP. Perhaps tomorrow with the benefit of sobriety and a high pressure hose i'll find what you've been baking...


----------



## Orpheus

Style Council + Mini Cooper 6 speed + windy New England roads = O getting his swerve on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

Perfect Manhattans before dinner, I think. Mmm.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## vi_bride04

Orpheus said:


> Style Council + Mini Cooper 6 speed + windy New England roads = O getting his swerve on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh i wanted a mini S so bad. Love those cars, so fun to drive. Would have to be a stick, of course like my current 2 cars


----------



## Orpheus

There are those that ride in cars and those who drive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## vi_bride04

Orpheus said:


> There are those that ride in cars and those who drive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I much prefer to drive. I have an 02 bmw 330xi 5 speed....with only 76k miles 

It is definitely a fun car


----------



## Orpheus

I moved to NYC from LA. It took me 10 years to get over not having a car to drive. I'm visiting a friend in RI and she has the Sport 6. Lovely little cars.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford

ahhh my ex had a proper old school mini cooper british open classic - the only car I ever regret selling

with the exception of my bambina it's the best car I've ever driven


----------



## Orpheus

****tail hour + Duran Duran.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford

Stoli Bolli (or Bolli Stoli) + Barry White


----------



## Orpheus

Imported cherries + crackling fire + dinner reservations =
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## vi_bride04

Orpheus said:


> Imported cherries + crackling fire + dinner reservations =
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hopefully not another coffee mishap???


----------



## Orpheus

Three forms of seafood on the menu and all of them so far kosher...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

I'm just saying that I migh be starting and ending the evening with calamari on the breath.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## vi_bride04

Orpheus said:


> I'm just saying that I migh be starting and ending the evening with calamari on the breath.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hmmm plan on eating at the Y?? Ha ha


----------



## Orpheus

Nothing says I'm getting lucky like the smell of burning clutch after I parallel park.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## vi_bride04

orpheus said:


> nothing says i'm getting lucky like the smell of burning clutch after i parallel park.
> _posted via mobile device_


epic fail....lol

I would be really turned off by this...but if the chick doesn't know **** about cars or driving, you should be ok


----------



## jpr

I NEED to know the rest of this story.

burning clutch + calamari breath + ______?________ = ___________?_________

What happened next?
...and how did it end?


----------



## vi_bride04

Does it end with breakfast in the morning with someone? Lol


----------



## Orpheus

Is it still a walk of shame if you're having brunch together first?

Car parked diagonally in drive. Seems that her top was in the bushes between the house and the car. 

First cup of coffee. Must remember to not drunk TAM while on date in the future.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

Old girlfriend. Very low anxiety. But... Yeah.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

I referred to myself as Halpily Divorced today. Perhaps not entirely true but that I would stab those two words together without duress or rehearsal would have been one time not so far ago unthinkable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

starting to ebb into late night here on the eastern seaboard. i've got The The's "Soul Mining" on auto-repeat. Forgot what a good break-up album it is.

Post the sexodus, the chemistry of the divorce has changed. I still miss ex-wife in an "aw shucks" kind of way but she no longer fuels my heart or my desire. It's just nostalgia. The old war wound.

Still trying to put out fires here but i feel once i can get the finances under control my emancipation will be complete. ex-wife is just a crutch for self-pity. noted.


----------



## Orpheus

note to self, never tell a smoking hot milf that she can't pull off a red sweater.


----------



## jpr

hmmmm....are you referring to Muskrat?...you know muskrat is a man...right?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

You get that the m in milf stands for muskrat, right? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

Anxious. Excited? Dread?? Can't sleep. Took that stupid Holmes Rahe stress test and scored 369. The Internet thinks that after my immanent cancer heart attack seizure that I should consider the following: " an obvious first thing to do is to try to avoid future life crises."

And thus today I am 43. Already too old for future happiness according to the agony aunts that roam the halls here. Think I'm going to take myself out on a little date tomorrow. Who knows... I might get lucky with myself. 

Perhaps 2013 will be significantly less stressful than 11-12? Wouldn't that be the best gift I could give myself. 

Goodnight Internet. In your tawdry red sweater and come hither gaze.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cantmove

It's always a good sign when your sarcastic sense of humor is shining O. You're doing bettter. I'm glad.


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> Anxious. Excited? Dread?? Can't sleep. Took that stupid Holmes Rahe stress test and scored 369. The Internet thinks that after my immanent cancer heart attack seizure that I should consider the following: " an obvious first thing to do is to try to avoid future life crises."
> 
> And thus today I am 43. Already too old for future happiness according to the agony aunts that roam the halls here. _Posted via Mobile Device_


369 - what a piker! I'm at 391.

Welcome to the 43 club!:smthumbup:


----------



## Orpheus

cantmove said:


> It's always a good sign when your sarcastic sense of humor is shining O. You're doing bettter. I'm glad.


You are Trouble, young lady.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

soca70 said:


> 369 - what a piker! I'm at 391.
> 
> Welcome to the 43 club!:smthumbup:


It would seem that I have a few months yet to pack the points on, old man. Race you to the infirmary!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cantmove

"Trouble" is my middle name. It's more fun that way.


----------



## Orpheus

cantmove said:


> "Trouble" is my middle name. It's more fun that way.


Give yourself more credit, Cantmove. I can imagine a number of ways you might be fun.


----------



## vi_bride04

Orpheus said:


> Give yourself more credit, Cantmove. I can imagine a number of ways you might be fun.


Does it involve a nice piece of meat?? :rofl:


----------



## Orpheus

i need to let the fire of the internal dialogue burn for a moment. if you're not wanting "ranty" then skip forward a bit...

you know when you just know something? a good friend posted on FB that she was visiting a high rise office for a meeting a few weeks ago. And i knew she was visiting my ex. She posted the following week about finally getting her non-profit status. And then today, issued a press release that a lawyer that had seen her event had offered to do pro-bono work for her and that they were now an official non-profit. there are some other details in there that tighten my supposition, which i'm omitting here. Ex and I had talked with this friend about doing this for her last year; and her fancy law firm requires x-hours of pro-bono work a year. Win win for both of them.

The woman in question was one of a handfull of irl people that were willing to deal with my meltdown about the divorce. She's been a close friend for a little over a decade.

I guess what i feel is betrayed. I feel angry that my ex gets to cherry pick from my friends about who she wants to stay in touch with. I don't like that my friend has done this and has never asked if i was alright with it... or if she just hadn't tip-toed around about it.

Another friend of mine refers to this as the "little boy" in me acting out. and that i should just let it go. let the two of them conduct business and chose their level of interaction. that That's not my life anymore. and that seems like the nice polite adult thing to do. part of me wants to chew my arm off. i just want my friends to be MY friends.

On a similar note, there is a couple that did things with ex and i that have done things with ex and have pretty much cut me loose. we see each other at some larger functions but i don't go hang out with them alone. conversely, i don't know if cutting them loose on FB is the little boy in me overreacting or if it's just that it's been 8 mos and they haven't shown any support or care and that it's ok to drop them and move on.

le sigh.


----------



## Orpheus

i'm so tired of her ceaselessly winning. f'me.


----------



## Dollystanford

It's perfectly normal to feel like that but one thing in life you can never forget...people look out for themselves. Your friend needed something your ex could provide gratis so she took that opportunity. Loyalty is pretty rare these days

I had a massive FB cull last week - all the people I've not heard a peep from in the year since we split. It felt pretty good actually - I'm way past caring whether my 'hostile act' bothers them or not. Removed all his family, even his MOTHER haha!

And you need to get out of the 'winning/losing' mindset. It just means that you're comparing all the time and you need to stop it or you'll lose it. Forget about her - she's done. Don't look back my friend


----------



## Orpheus

i also went through and axed a bunch of people off of fb last week too, likely because of my disgust at that recent fb thread in the other forum. this joint couple have been on the fence for a while and didn't get the axe then and then were commenting about going to the opera with her friday night.

maybe i could have gotten around friend working with ex under different circumstances but receiving a cheerful, glowing press release this morning sent me over the top. written in all sorts of flowery puffery about how wonderful and magnanimous everything is. yes, genteel and benevolent wall street lawyer swoops in and saves arts organization because she has so much love in her heart.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

the poisonous mindset is something i've always wrestled with, i'm afraid. "knowing it" doesn't greatly mitigate it. choking to death on Randian ideals and principles. you would have thought i'd learned better after two decades in nyc.


----------



## Orpheus

Had a dream last night that Dolly sent out a form letter to everyone on TAM saying that she'd changed her user name to "What..." and then i woke up before i could read on as to why she was doing it. hm.


----------



## angelpixie

Dreams of a feverish mind. I understand, that's when I dream of Dolly, too.


----------



## Dollystanford

a feverish man speaks a drunk man's mind


----------



## angelpixie

So what does a drunk man speak? :scratchhead:


----------



## Dollystanford

a sober man's mind 

in a nutshell, you all want a piece of Dolly

that's ok I'm pretty loveable


----------



## angelpixie

Hopefully, there's enough of you to go around.


----------



## Dollystanford

loveable and spreadable

no that's not right


----------



## angelpixie

Dollystanford said:


> loveable and spreadable


:rofl:



Dollystanford said:


> no that's not right


No?


----------



## angelpixie

Sorry, O, I fear we've turned this into Les-xodus.


----------



## Dollystanford

angelpixie said:


> :rofl:
> 
> 
> 
> No?


so rude!!


----------



## angelpixie

Dollystanford said:


> so rude!!


Moi?


----------



## Orpheus

i would sig that Doll, but i'm afraid it would get me pixied.


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> i would sig that Doll, but i'm afraid it would get me pixied.



Moi?


----------



## jpr

Dude.
Who cares about her? You have her number...you know that she is phoney.  Consider yourself enlightened....and let it go.

Maybe Karma will do her job, and maybe not. ....either way, it has no effect on your life...not really. ...unless you let it. 



She could win the lottery tomorrow, and it wouldn't have any effect on your life--so, who cares?....right? 



*This public service announcement is brought to you by another cold and another dose of nyquil**


----------



## Orpheus

"let it go."

it's the cancer of divorce. it comes in so many forms. and then it comes again.

i'm ok with her doing her thing, jpr. the problem as stated earlier is that she's gone. and we each took our share of mutual friends. but i have a problem with her cherrypicking from my friends. and i'm upset with my friend for not letting me know that she was entering into a longterm business arrangement with her. My ex isn't the only lawyer she knows. 

I already have the LEAST amount possible. I thought i could count on my friends still being "mine". I have a really really hard time dealing with our mutual friends that i'm still in contact with. If she's moving on, i want her to be dead to me. I don't want f'in press releases in my inbox from my close friends about how wonderful my ex is.


----------



## angelpixie

I think what Dolly said was the sad truth -- if you had been the lawyer that the friend needed, she would have chosen to 'keep' you. It is insensitive at the very least to send you the press release, if she was a friend who you felt understood what you were going through during the break-up. That is understandably painful. Your description of it as Randian seems apt. 

Axing them from FB is not 'acting out,' O. It is self-preservation. Friendship is give and take. If you cannot count on these friends to be _true_ friends, don't keep them as mere FB 'friends' either. Having these feelings is not unusual or unhealthy. Taking rational steps to maintain your self-respect and minimize future pain is not a childish tantrum. I'm sorry that this long after it all started, you're still being faced with these 'surprises.' Are these people you'll still need to socialize with as part of your work? If not, that will help to put distance between you & them, too. Perhaps you can create a social circle totally separate from the one you had with her, or you can rekindle friendships with people from before your marriage. 

This is one of those suck-filled, unfair parts of a break-up, that the initiating party never seems to have to suffer. 

It hurts, O, but kiss them good-bye and kick them to the curb. Don't waste your time on shallow people that you can't trust to be there for you, or to care about what's important to you.


----------



## Orpheus

agreed. about self interest. makes me sad the world is so slight of character. the Randian comment was about my idealism; not towards any of the other parties.

Those mutual friends have been part of my larger circle since the sep/divorce. I had found them but the girls were the ones that became tight. That's how I "lost them" too, i suppose. The couple hasn't done anything offensive they just have been dead wood. Dead wood that at time report back on their outings. 

So it's the lack of causation which is the thing i'm tied up with there. S'why it feels like i'm acting out. Or... with AP's kind help: self preservation. 

I just want to be on my own miserable shore and not have ex's party yacht pull up whenever it feels like.


----------



## angelpixie

Sweetie, can I suggest that you really don't want to be on _any_ miserable shore -- yours or anyone else's? That maybe you just want to establish a life where you're not blindsided by what's going on with her? That's a process. You still haven't been able to totally detach. Perhaps separating these friends will actually help with that. As you get your own stable situation going, with a new circle and its own activities, you'll be better able to deal with news from her part of the world. You know I'm still struggling with this kind of thing, too. I don't share a circle of friends that reminds me of what he's doing; our child plays that part - forcing us to spend time together, when he helpfully fills me in on his schedule by telling me he's taking the gf out of town for her birthday...which is coincidentally two days before mine...and my week with DS starts just in time for the two of them to go out of town...over my birthday...the type of 'gift' he never cared to arrange for me. 

Yeah, I understand the whole 'party boat' thing. But I don't want my connection to him to continue making me miserable. He is an a$$hole. Plain and simple. Would I rather be miserable with him? or Working on getting past that misery without him? I'm now at the point where I get disgusted when I hear what I heard tonight, but when he turns his back to walk out my door, I flip him off and go back to my life. I'm at the point where I miss the concept of being married and having a family with him, but not the reality of what it actually was. Know what I mean? I think maybe you're still miserable about _her_, O. That's why what she does still leaves you feeling miserable.


----------



## Orpheus

There may been a deal of truth to that AP. but I think my polestar is more likely I'm more miserable about me. Things here continue to fall apart at an alarming rate and having her do incidental USO tours via intermediaries holds the shining mirror up to how bad my situation is... And how easy it is for her. 

I don't mean this in a pity party way. But I'm begining to become feral and lose much objectivity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

I understand. Really I do. My offer to help still stands, if you can think of a resource I might have here that would be of use to you.


----------



## Orpheus

xoap


----------



## angelpixie

Wie geht's?


----------



## soca70

English please (for those of us who are trying to learn something useful from this thread )


----------



## angelpixie

How goes it? (in German  pronounced 'Vee gates')

ETA: You've now learned a useful German phrase, soca! :smthumbup:


----------



## soca70

Thank you. I'm sitting here at my desk anxiously killing time as I see my attorney going back and forth via email with STBX on our custody agreement. The last thing I need is a language barrier to grapple with!


----------



## soca70

soca70 said:


> I'm sitting here at my desk anxiously killing time as I see my attorney going back and forth via email with STBX on our custody agreement.


I should clarify STBX's attorney - not directly!


----------



## Orpheus

The real lesson to be learned from this thread is do what I say not what I do. F'me. Even I wish I could divorce me today. 

Had a nice ride at cp today. And a few bites professionally. But nothing to stem the horror.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## soca70

I was thinking that my lawyer comes across in these emails as snotty and b*****y. I'm like if I'm going to be miserable, I'm glad somebody else's life is being miserable as well. I see you are along for the ride with me today!


----------



## cantmove

You're making me sad O.


----------



## angelpixie

We need to brainstorm with you.


----------



## angelpixie

Or have an online orgy.


----------



## angelpixie

Something to cheer you up.


----------



## jpr

angelpixie said:


> Wie geht's?


Es gehts mir gut.



...thanks for asking. Oh......that question wasn't directed at me. 

hmmmm....Wo ist meine bratwurste?


----------



## angelpixie

Mit deine bier! :toast:


----------



## Dollystanford

Erwähnen Sie nicht den Krieg!


----------



## jpr

Kann ich bitte mal zur toilette gehen? ...bitte? 


Okay. That is all that I remember from high school German class. ...that probably isn't correct grammar.


----------



## angelpixie

Hahaha, jpr -- that was THE biggest complaint we made to our German teacher. We could conjugate verbs, translate obscure German fairy tales, and we could order all kinds of food and drinks, but she refused to teach us how to ask where the bathroom was! :rofl:


----------



## Dollystanford

Universal language - point to the crotchal region, cross legs, make pained face


----------



## angelpixie

Or that could mean

Jemand hat trat mich in den Nüssen!


----------



## Orpheus

well, at least we've found another language that AP can get banned in.

drei dammen mit cookiepuss.

CM, don't blame me. Blame Soca... he's trailblazing the morose 43yo male path. i'm just flotsam in his wake.


----------



## angelpixie

Low blow, O.


----------



## vi_bride04

angelpixie said:


> Or have an online orgy.


:smthumbup:


----------



## Orpheus

what is an online orgy?


----------



## angelpixie

Oh....if you don't already know, then ...never mind...I think it might be too hard & take too long to explain. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

After a long distraught day... I sat down to do a new kundalini yoga routine. Long and slow, just the way I like it. You still reading this fräuleins? About an hour into it there was this rest pause where I was told to laugh without thinking about it. For what felt like two minutes straight. It was unusual at first but after an hour of yoga... The laughing was like I drug. I began having these flashes of happy times throughout my life. Because I wasn't laughing at anything my mind continued to bombard me with abstract happy moments from my whole life. It was cray-cray. Totes. Like being on a drug. 

Tomorrow will be awful but to night I'm stretched out, half dressed and getting my man-kitten on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

hmmm. half dressed? man-kitten? hmmm.


----------



## Orpheus

Really, that was your takeaway from my tale of euphoria and existential bliss?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

I'm still pondering that. Truly. Giving it lots of deep thought.


----------



## angelpixie

I have to tell you, that Grinderman song on your mix is like crack. 

And I added the Phosphorescent track to my STFC playlist. The girls loved it.


----------



## Orpheus

The Grinderman song is a James Lavelle (Unkle) mix. And Unkle is like my favorite thing of the last ten years. If you like that song though the whole Grinderman album is really good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

No, it's that specific mix. I don't like the original nearly as much.

And that version of the Phosphorescent is better than the original, too, IMO. Totally worth a subscription to Daytrotter to get it.


----------



## angelpixie

Seriously, though, I'm glad that you had that time to feel good tonight. I hope it carries into tomorrow.


----------



## Orpheus

Yeah, Phosphorescent doesn't seem to sound like that anywhere else. To my dismay. Though there are plenty of post-folk acts in the world. 

If you get an itch, sit down to the whole Unkle "War Stories" album re what you like in the Grinderman mix. That album introduces Ian Ashbury to the lineup with much success. 

And now... Can't sleep over tomorrow anxiety. I wish bliss were less fleeting. What is it they say about fear being excitement that doesn't breathe?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

Warm milk? Flannel jammies? Teddy bear? Mantovani? I have more great ideas where those came from.


----------



## Orpheus

Maybe if I never sleep tomorrow will never come?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

And that would work how? Is it a good or a bad idea to tell you that it's already here? Is there something specific about Wednesday that's troubling, or just that it's another day of the sh!tstorm?


----------



## angelpixie

And today, you find yourself feeling/doing __________?


----------



## Orpheus

x


----------



## angelpixie

Why, thank you, but that doesn't answer my question.


----------



## Dollystanford

Ahhh love a bit of UNKLE - this one with DJ Shadow and Ian Brown is sweeeet

Unfortunately I met James Lavelle once and he was a c*ck

Be There


----------



## Orpheus

Dollystanford said:


> Unfortunately I met James Lavelle once and he was a c*ck


isn't that mostly the way of it. never meet your heroes.

i never miss him/them when they come through nyc. great shows and good visuals. an excellent counter-weight to being lit up like a christmas tree.

...

today wasn't the nightmaregasm that i was bracing for but that other shoe is going to drop. i'm still just trying to out-race it. my mind is rancid with cover letter prattle. i mostly don't remember January. mostly.


----------



## angelpixie

Good -- I'm glad it wasn't as bad as you feared it would be. 

Keep your focus. Know that you will get through this.


----------



## soca70

O - how's it going today?


----------



## Orpheus

Details on the ground aren't better. But that things aren't immediately worse feels like the sort of bankable Pyrrhic victory I can drum to. So, thin ice but spirits high. 

Off to see a concert tonight that I've been waiting on for two months. 

You?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## soca70

The concert sounds good - hopefully your spirit will be lifted higher. Have a good time!

Same old same old here


----------



## LovesHerMan

Anyone who can use the phrase "Pyrrhic victory" in a sentence is attractive in my book. Keep your confidence up, Orpheus; there is definitely an intelligent woman in your future.


----------



## Orpheus

i have found in my feeble passage through this world that smart girls hurt more. but i may be drawing from a small set of predators.


----------



## Orpheus

Ahhhh, the sweet foreign hell of a new yoga routine. Loving slower kundalini yoga. In any event, the body burns in a new way. 

One step forward and two steps back on everything else today. The yoga is certainly helping control my anxiety. Somewhat. 

Spirits high. Pellmell continues.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford

Smart girls may hurt more but you can't possibly want a prawn!


----------



## Orpheus

you should never overestimate the male appetite for fluff in snuggles, dolly.


----------



## cantmove

Orpheus said:


> i have found in my feeble passage through this world that smart girls hurt more. but i may be drawing from a small set of predators.



I'm smart and I'm not a predator Eric.


----------



## Orpheus

staring at the robot and listening to Fine Young Cannibals. This is what passes for a riveting Saturday night in NYC if you're not traveling first class.


----------



## Orpheus

cantmove said:


> I'm smart and I'm not a predator Eric.


no, CM. no you're not. in fact, you're so awesome... i'm not sure you're real.


----------



## angelpixie

cantmove said:


> I'm smart and I'm not a predator Eric.



In fact, a _truly_ smart woman is not predatory at all. She knows that that will not result in the type of relationship she really wants. 

Beware of the 'smart girl façade.' We at the Smart Girl Union have been on a worldwide campaign to make men aware of these shape-shifters, and how to tell them apart from the true Smart Girls of the world. Ask for our free brochure.


----------



## Orpheus

Had a dream last night that I was a xenobiologist studying a strange and frightening world. Where I encountered a ragtag group of adventures in muppetlike form. A bit like Firefly. They broke out in song at meeting me. Including the faceless otter. 

I woke up singing myself the song. I can only think upon review that the muppets were my TAMily here. 

Wish I could still remember the song.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford

????

The REAL Bohemian Rhapsody


----------



## Orpheus

lol.

right on the money as usual, What...


----------



## Orpheus

i wonder then, if i'm the sole human in this muppet medley then which of you are what muppets?


----------



## angelpixie

Based on role rather than looks, obviously here's Dolly and me:


----------



## Dollystanford

No this is us babes










Man Kitten


----------



## Dollystanford

crumbs, perhaps I could find a bigger one


----------



## Orpheus

jpr?


----------



## Orpheus

i always fancied myself sort of rowlfish...


----------



## Dollystanford

Not....










??


----------



## Orpheus

easy there...


----------



## Dollystanford

Hey now I may be a bit of a diva but that chick makes Mimi look like Mother Theresa


----------



## Orpheus

it's not great leap from here to Tom Waits in my youth:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9jLWqPJTRY


----------



## Dollystanford

Superlative...

Orpheus does Ode to Joy


----------



## angelpixie

Dollystanford said:


> Superlative...
> 
> Orpheus does Ode to Joy


Thank you. I cried.


----------



## Orpheus

OH MY... when memes collide, DollyPie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aGTNS13SDU


----------



## angelpixie

O.M.G. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

ETA: LOL at the Disney logo in the corner. :rofl:


----------



## Orpheus

angelpixie said:


> LOL at the Disney logo in the corner. :rofl:


me too!


----------



## angelpixie

I am truly seriously crying right now. And my stomach hurts.


----------



## Dollystanford

She's such a sl*t


----------



## jpr

Orpheus said:


> jpr?


HEY! ....I resemble that remark!


----------



## jpr

Dollystanford said:


> She's such a sl*t


Well, that's a given.  ...anyone who wears that much eye makeup is obviously loose as a goose.


----------



## angelpixie

's true! That's the first thing I thought when I saw you: "Hey, she looks like Janice on the Muppets!"


----------



## Orpheus

jpr said:


> I resemble that remark!


fer sher.


----------



## Orpheus

Memes collide pt.2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eohHwsplvY

(as i suck all the fun out of the room...)


----------



## Dollystanford

Memes kaboooooooom

I Love London Town

We don't see Pepe enough I don't think


----------



## angelpixie

"My goodness, I think your vein came out." Jim Henson would be proud. :rofl:

(I luurv Pepe's little neckchain, haha)


----------



## Orpheus

big meeting today.

big meeting today cancelled 2 minutes after i get on the bus for my 2 hour commute. I get up and rush for the door as it closes and the bus pulls out to head for the Lincoln Tunnel. Cut to: 30 minutes later when i'm drinking coffee in nowhere New Jersey waiting for a bus that will either strike me dead or take me back to Manhattan. mmm, coffee.


----------



## angelpixie

SH!T!! Is it being rescheduled?


----------



## Orpheus

yes. probably next week. i'll talk to the guy tomorrow.

in the meantime... there's a good chance that i might have sold a photograph that i own; and i got a call today from a headhunter for a position that is way out of my league but she thought of me for. all that AND a trip to New Jersey.


----------



## Dollystanford

Out of your league? What nonsense, would you like a Dolly reference?


----------



## angelpixie

Listen, Man-kitten, side-trip to Joisey aside, things are still looking positive. Does the Coven of Lovin need to whip you into shape, or can you handle this?


----------



## angelpixie

Oh, and -- I heard Trixie on the radio here this morning. :smthumbup:


----------



## Orpheus

normally, Orphie's Angels, i wouldn't back down from a rando job but a headhunter calling me for a vp creative for a fortune500-like company isn't something that i really have in my palmares. i will go and dance the dance if i get that far. if. but i've looked at their requirements and i think they're going to err on somebody with more textiles experience rather than somebody with a branding background.

despite my horrible detour today, it's been promising at least having something to steer the boat towards. rather than only avoiding the ceaseless shoals. 

tonight, more rfp bids and job searches. tomorrow a call with a b2b that's not too far away that needs a slew of marketing materials in a rebrand. i don't know how many other candidates they're reviewing but i'm just glad to be in the running.

the photo needs to have the paper authenticated but i think that's the final stumbling block. if that baby sells, the Big O can pay rent for last month.

This is like my 17pnt 3rd Quarter!

...

AP glad to hear our girl is getting air play. the record's so small that it could have gone either way. she's coming back through NYC after she runs through the EU for the next two months. I think my friend has already gotten us tickets for... April?


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> normally, Orphie's Angels, i wouldn't back down from a rando job but a headhunter calling me for a vp creative for a fortune500-like company isn't something that i really have in my palmares. i will go and dance the dance if i get that far. if. but i've looked at their requirements and i think they're going to err on somebody with more textiles experience rather than somebody with a branding background.
> 
> despite my horrible detour today, it's been promising at least having something to steer the boat towards. rather than only avoiding the ceaseless shoals.
> 
> tonight, more rfp bids and job searches. tomorrow a call with a b2b that's not too far away that needs a slew of marketing materials in a rebrand. i don't know how many other candidates they're reviewing but i'm just glad to be in the running.
> 
> the photo needs to have the paper authenticated but i think that's the final stumbling block. if that baby sells, *the Big O* can pay rent for last month.
> 
> This is like my 17pnt 3rd Quarter!


I felt a deep need to turn that into a soul-satisfying, toe-curling one liner. I went at it hard for a while, and it was feeling reeeaalllly good, but in the end, I just couldn't get there. 








Thank you, I'll be here all night. And don't forget to tip the piano player.


----------



## jpr

:scratchhead: Hmmm.."The Big O"...hmmm...I think I have heard that before.


Everyday free shipping. All day. Every day.


----------



## Orpheus

jpr said:


> ...I think I have heard that before.
> [COLOR]


Jpr, I'm pretty sure you'd know if you had. ;o


----------



## Orpheus

so, vp job hired in house before i got off the ground. bidding on a large fl job that i have maybe a 25% chance of getting. and i applied for hourly work at Target. 

never let it be said that i don't have range. equal. opportunity. unemployable.


----------



## angelpixie

Money is money, O. It still pays the bills no matter how you earn it. You're still going to be working to get it, and not living off the government teat due to your highly sensitive nature. Chalk one up for you. 

Sorry to hear about the vp job, but you still have the rescheduled meeting in the offing. You never know when or where you might meet a new contact. Keep yourself out there. It will happen. 

(Said by a person who moonlighted at Wal-mart every weekend for the better part of a year. At least Target doesn't make you wear those god-awful blue vests. They did nothing for my figure.  )


----------



## soca70

O - in what industry is your branding background?


----------



## Orpheus

i'm a designer, soca. for the past x years a "consultant" so i work with b2b, luxury, financial and lifestyle clients. when i work. which, has been brutal for a few years as everyone is using whatever tiny inhouse staff they have to solve all of their marketing needs. generally consultants come out of agencies with a stream of business fed to them by their previous employer. i don't have that luxury in nyc.

i do have to tell you: when i'm in that crowd with all the design and branding muckity mucks... i feel like i belong. i feel like they like me. i feel like i can rock it. i never get that feeling in the fine art world. i sadly, just can't get anything to catch. f'me.

speaking of which... 

so i went to a fancy branding seminar that takes place over a few days this week. sat next to an art director at a big magazine. he chats me up for a few minutes afterwards. i'm pretty bad at small talk and very out of practice. i'm brilliantly charming when i get in the swing of things but the cold start not so good. So he asks me what i do and i tell him illustration and identity work. a few minutes later he asks me if i am still doing illustration. and i respond, "not so much." and soft pedal about some piecemeal stuff.

And then five minutes later it dawns on me. As it should to you, dear reader, that when an art director at a magazine asks you if you still do something that they are fishing. I'm going to have to start borrowing feet to shoot myself in. 

yes'sir... bred for failure.

got a drink at the bar and two of the event honeys came over and chatted me up. and i WORKED it. i think one was trying to sell the other one to me. i'm never good at that. but it was on. soon we were teasing the one about her fetish for masonry and how i just saved her 20 years of therapy.

ah. good times.

and then i left. alone. pistol fingers. and bullseye.


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> i'm a designer, soca. for the past x years a "consultant" so i work with b2b, luxury, financial and lifestyle clients. when i work. which, has been brutal for a few years as everyone is using whatever tiny inhouse staff they have to solve all of their marketing needs. generally consultants come out of agencies with a stream of business fed to them by their previous employer. i don't have that luxury in nyc.
> 
> i do have to tell you: when i'm in that crowd with all the design and branding muckity mucks... i feel like i belong. i feel like they like me. i feel like i can rock it. i never get that feeling in the fine art world. i sadly, just can't get anything to catch. f'me.


Thanks for the info. My customers in NYC are upscale hopitality management and ownership groups - boutique and luxury hotels. If I hear of anything, I will let you know.

My company is being acquired by a multi-billion dollar capital firm currently so business travel has been very limited and I haven't been up there for a few months but will keep an eye out.


----------



## Orpheus

soca70 said:


> I haven't been up there for a few months but will keep an eye out.


well, i look forward to huddling around a can of sterno and drinking a malt 40 with you when our boat comes in. 

thanks for the looking out. nice to have friends. more so, friends you've never met.

keep the faith.

x
e


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> well, i look forward to huddling around a can of sterno and drinking a malt 40 with you when our boat comes in.


I think I see it coming now...It says TITAN something or other


----------



## Orpheus

Well, Valentam's Day quickly approaches. 

I still continue my ranting inner dialogue at times with exwife but it's never an excuse for anything else than me feeling sorry for myself. FU L, still mad at you for what you did to us.

Maybe some day that anger will abate.

Things here are hopefully bleak. Had a promising position in the middle of nowhere fall through last week. They never follow-up after a couple reschedule attempts on my end. Might be karma helping me out there.

Had an interview for a gallery position on Monday. I was certain it was going to go horribly because i'd interviewed with the guy 4 years ago already. Thought about canceling but went through with it. As it turns out, he's under the gun and needs to make a quick decision and i'm in a good position. His girl wrote today to say he wanted another meeting on Sunday night at a fancy steakhouse. I would be surprised if that doesn't equal an offer. The hours and the salary would be bad but there are some perks and most importantly it would stop the hemorrhaging. And it would put me back on the UES of Manhattan where I used to be. So like going home of a sorts.

In other news, i placed a bid on an rfp for a large b2b rebrand effort and i priced it in a way to make them go away after an awkward conversation with the marketing woman. The high prices and my agnosticism has only made me a more attractive candidate and no matter how fast i run, i have yet to be able to shake them. Meeting with the CMO and the Founder some time in the next two weeks.

And just yesterday, I found out that the photograph i needed to sell to keep this ball of wax rolling is as good as gone. So, Mr. Kitten can pay his rent in the current state. And, I got comp'ed into the Little Big Town concert downtown last night... their first outing after the big Grammy win on Sunday.

So, F*cking close to breaking even and having a good time again that I can see it. I can see the shoreline but the tides remain unknown.

Mr Kitten out.


----------



## Dollystanford

Well now. It seems you've decided to sail your boat into the storm and battle through. And as long as you're still afloat when the sun comes up then that's all that matters

I wish you the best of British luck treacle toes


----------



## angelpixie

I didn't know kittens could sail boats... 

Oh, look! They can!


----------



## Orpheus

treacle toes. hm.


----------



## Dollystanford

I'm thinking this costume, this pose, this facial expression. Yes.


----------



## Orpheus

yes, but shaved legs not shaved arms.


----------



## angelpixie

Dollystanford said:


> I'm thinking this costume, this pose, this facial expression. Yes.





Orpheus said:


> yes, but shaved legs not shaved arms.


So, what breed of hairless cat would that be, then? My guess would be the fourth one listed.


----------



## Orpheus

clearly both you girls were absent on the day they taught flattery.


----------



## angelpixie

Hmmm... 

Kitten, check!
Sailor, check!
Light bondage, check!

This looks like the Valentine for you.


















I love the creepy old Valentines. I did 2 or 3 FB photo albums of them last year. They are hilarious.


----------



## Orpheus

so. you're the mouse? Dollyface is the yellow duck. JPR is the bird in the red sweater?

Oh Valentam's Day, I just want to swaddle you in cold clear champagne and slather you up in something viscous and edible.


----------



## angelpixie

Well, then. I'll have that rather picturesque quote in my mind as I sashay off to teach STFC.


----------



## jpr

Orpheus said:


> so. you're the mouse? Dollyface is the yellow duck. *JPR is the bird in the red sweater?
> *
> Oh Valentam's Day, I just want to swaddle you in cold clear champagne and slather you up in something viscous and edible.


No, that is not me.

If I have told you once, I've told you twice...I can not rock a red sweater.  ...too ruddy. 

pink. I can do pink. Not red.


----------



## Orpheus

JPR, I would take you in pink or nothing at all. 

Now back to my bachelor Jane Austin movie marathon.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> JPR, I would take you in pink or nothing at all.
> 
> Now back to my bachelor Jane Austin movie marathon.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You cannot have Colin Firth. He is mine.


----------



## Dollystanford

angelpixie said:


> You cannot have Colin Firth. He is mine.


I would have had issue with this until Fassdong came into my life. Now I'm happy to give Colin away like the piece of man meat he is
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

please please ladies... old school: Mansfield Park. taking my JA back to the late 90s. despite my ardor for Knightly, it is certainly the best of the JA adaptations.


----------



## Dollystanford

No

The 1995 BBC adaption of P&P is the best and if you want to fight me on this then I warn you, I'm scrappy


----------



## angelpixie

I definitely agree with you, Dolly. Years went by before I watched it again, and I was surprised that I liked it even more the second time around (Colin Firth notwithstanding). That is rare for me.


----------



## Orpheus

I'll set the way-back for Betamax, granny, and see how it holds up. To be continued...

So, still not paying bills and behind on my rent but spent the afternoon in a 30m apartment on Park Avenue this afternoon. The mighty ****ensian axe continues to slice up gracious headings of irony upon me. 

Interview no 2 for gallery job coming up on Sunday. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, a flurry of rfps for branding and identity work. It's such a great joy to be so lauded and unemployable on multiple fronts. 

Off to figure out how to summons up a little 1985 magic for Dollyface.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

Seems you can't say D!ckensian on TAM.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

Forgot to mention that I gave up sex for Lent. ALL forms of sex. The ladies of TAM and their skimpy late night photography are free from the ravages of Man Kitten's fervent imagination. For another 38 nights. 

MKl8r yo.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> Forgot to mention that I gave up sex for Lent. ALL forms of sex. The ladies of TAM and their skimpy late night photography are free from the ravages of Man Kitten's fervent imagination. For another 38 nights.
> 
> MKl8r yo.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lying is a sin year 'round, sweet thang.


----------



## Dollystanford

Skimpy late night photograpy???!

What the...?


----------



## Orpheus

Didn't somebody post a buff sailor with naked arms?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford

Oh I do apologise - when you said the late night photography was free from the ravages of your imagination I didn't assume you spent your nights tossing and turning and dreaming of musclebound sailors


----------



## Orpheus

Day 3. Nothing is safe.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford

I would definitely advise against becoming a submariner

Just in case it's on your 'possibles' list


----------



## Orpheus

Madame, you are as quick as you are unrelenting. i doff my cap to you.


----------



## Dollystanford

Now I'm divorced can't I go back to 'mademoiselle'


----------



## Orpheus

I have as of late, wherefore i know not, lost all my mirth...

Spun out this morning. In anticipation of tomorrow, i've decided to power back a little on the job front and do some house and computer cleaning. which lead me to all my various notes compiled on the iphone. Is there nothing sadder than throwing out the list of baby names that you and your ex had slowly compiled. A toast to the never born. Whomever you may be.

Careful readers will remember that after many trials compounded by post-op pain drugs that i asked my exwife for a divorce on her graduation day. Later that day, I gave her the graduation present i'd settled on after a year and a half of planning events and gifts that would adorn that day. I'd given her an Hermes scarf. Without the attendant card. "Is there a card?" she asked. no. no, it wasn't any longer appropriate i answered.

The card that i had composed 48 hours earlier. The proud love letter that ended, "As you begin your professional career at long last, we will undoubtably face new challenges and joys. Unfortunately, I will see even less of you. Please accept the enclosed as a token of my love and desire to be near you. There will be enough time next year to find you the right pen and briefcase, what I wanted for you was something you could hold near; something that might keep you warm; something that might frame your beauty."

And so i offer this with sadness and a few tears. Sad at the happiness that is gone and now locked within a memory or two. I'm sad but i'm not destroyed like i might have been a few months ago. I copied all the notes and have put them in a different document. That document will go in a file where all the ex-wife material resides. Effectively gone. But not destroyed.

So, sad. but ok.

...

thanks for keeping me playful ladies and young ladies (Dollyface) of TAM.


----------



## Dollystanford

Can I ask why you're keeping it? I understand that others are more sentimental than I am - I have thrown away every single thing that has any kind of link with him....letters, postcards, wedding photos, single cufflinks found behind cabinets, etc. - but I suppose my question would be 'what's the purpose?'

Are you going to get them out and look at them occasionally and feel sad and mourn? Or are they just going to sit there gathering dust? 

I don't know you well enough to understand how you might heal best so do forgive me. But I wouldn't want you to do something that's just going to cause you additional pain somewhere down the line


----------



## Orpheus

well, it's digital dust so i would have to be sourcing the pain box to trip over it.

the answer probably is deeper fu'ed psychoanalysis than just memorabilia. i had moved roughly 30 times by the time i was 25yo. i'm not a packrat but i am a bit precious about personal history and memorabilia. i don't have to "go through it" (in fact i very rarely if ever do) but it feels like it's important to know where it is.

the zen answer should be: i am me. i am the me of now and tomorrow. yesterday doesn't exist. and i aim for that. but i have some damage to my id/ego from all that moving as a child and early divorced parents that i still sort of feel like i'll be ok if i have a locked box that is me. 

ah, f. man... i can't get into this any deeper at the moment. i'm not sure that was really even your question any more.

in any event, i don't pore over it. just have some difficulty cutting it loose. time helps. and so long as it doesn't interfere, then it can have a few megabytes of drive space in a folder i haven't thrown away yet.


----------



## Orpheus

Conversely, Dolly, you're fairly blunt here at TAM. I don't know much about you other than your persona. Do you experience longing; are you much of an aesthete?

[edit: I ask because we might come at fundamental things from two very, very different perspectives. not making us incompatible socially but somewhat alien in the ways each of us arrives at the same destination. asking because i'm curious.]


----------



## Dollystanford

I'm not sure whether it's a cultural thing - I have noticed that the Brits of the board tend to be a bit more blunt, a bit less introspective, certainly not as given to therapeutic intervention or soul searching

On a personal level I am a little emotionally retarded - I have the ability to detach very easily from situations that may cause me pain. It has been a real protector over the years and I have to constantly remind myself that others are not as fortunate

As for longing - I certainly do, I long for someone who thinks they might die if they can't have me  

And aesthetics - my god man I live in London town! You haven't experienced true peace until you've wandered round an art gallery on your own, slightly drunk, then laid on the grass in one of the London parks staring at the sky and feeling the sun on your face and thanking god that the emotional and financial drain you attached yourself to for so many years has gone

I do hope you can find the same level of peace that I have - ultimately I was with the wrong person. I was overwhelmed by the force of his personality and hadn't had a chance to develop my own yet. He had a chip on his shoulder about the fact that I was educated and intellectual even though that's part of what attracted him in the first place. I've come to terms with that now. I'll always believe that happy people are stupid people, but contentment - now that I can deal with. And I hope you find it x


----------



## Orpheus

it's not clear if you're wishing happiness or contentment upon me.


----------



## Dollystanford

well I can't deny the idea of walking round in some kind of happy oblivion is quite appealing


----------



## Orpheus

I will meet you at the bottom of that glass, Dollface. Here's to Happy Oblivion!


----------



## Orpheus

Note to self: Dinah Washington! Why wasn't i listening to her 6 months ago? The perfect mix of remorse and goodbye.


----------



## Dollystanford

oh sorry I'm on glass number 3 - do catch up

Interesting fact about Dinah Washington - married seven times, could have done with TAM


----------



## Orpheus

Note to self: listen to Dinah Washington. Do not emulate Dinah Washington.


----------



## Orpheus

job offered; job accepted.

still have to hammer out the fine print but in theory i join the land of the living again mid-March!


----------



## Dollystanford

Whoop!

Congratulations, welcome to hell


----------



## angelpixie

:biggrinangelA: :woohoo: 

A toast to better things ahead, O!


----------



## Orpheus

Thank you ladyfaces!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

Oh!! my *8*000th post! Lucky you.


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> job offered; job accepted.
> 
> still have to hammer out the fine print but in theory i join the land of the living again mid-March!


Trying to catch up over on this side now that you've left us wallowing in despair. What job is this? Congrats BTW!


----------



## Orpheus

ah, stupid TAM swallowed up my really long snappy answer to you SoCa.

shorter version is... a sales job at an art gallery. something i did for ten years that i'm returning to. mixed blessings but it's got room for growth. good solid financial opportunities. and it'll cover the immediate damage and allow me to put out the fires.

i can still moonlight with the creative work and keep it as an option.

hope you're good? ... !

x
e


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> ah, stupid TAM swallowed up my really long snappy answer to you SoCa.
> 
> shorter version is... a sales job at an art gallery. something i did for ten years that i'm returning to. mixed blessings but it's got room for growth. good solid financial opportunities. and it'll cover the immediate damage and allow me to put out the fires.
> 
> i can still moonlight with the creative work and keep it as an option.
> 
> hope you're good? ... !
> 
> x
> e


Hey congrats - that sounds good and will give you a foundation for now and keep you out of debtor's prison.

On my end, we told the kids this past weekend - which has been my biggest fear but faced it. They are doing OK but are concerned and upset and just trying to figure it out.

You guys are missing the action over in the "Going thru..." section. If you have the time, I encourage you to read Bullwinkle's thread. It's been non-stop "chills and thrills"! He's a very funny guy and I think you may enjoy it.


----------



## Orpheus

everybody likes a train wreck. off to check out Going Through.


----------



## angelpixie

Everyone has wisdom they can share.


----------



## Orpheus

Orpheus said:


> everybody likes a train wreck. off to check out Going Through.


kind of extremely sad, actually. a handful of people egging on Bullwinkle and turning his prose into pageantry for their amusement. It's cute and funny in small doses. But there's a real guy there with real problems. And then you get the fwad responses that tell him how much of a rockstar he is because of his post count.

it would be nice if his TAM experience were also about introspection and moving forward rather than the welling jester of the vox populi. 

but that's my 2 cents, about a thread i'm not in. that isn't mine. thank god.

so... Here's to ya' B. Hope they never find the body.


----------



## Orpheus

angelpixie said:


> Everyone has wisdom they can share.


i find your statement wise but overreaching in context.


----------



## angelpixie

Perhaps the wisdom some share is in teaching others not to follow in their footsteps.  (not referring to you, sweetie)


----------



## Orpheus

are you saying i shouldn't follow in your footsteps? Oh wise one, i got your back channel. If you know what i mean.


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> are you saying i shouldn't follow in your footsteps? Oh wise one, i got your back channel. If you know what i mean.



I'm not sure I do, but it sounds saucy, so I like it.


----------



## angelpixie

What do you think? Going for 1000 posts tonight?

The big 1-oh-oooh-oooooh! 




:rofl:


----------



## Orpheus

Will that make me popular?


----------



## angelpixie

Who else do you have to be popular with? Aren't you already popular with whoever is important? The creme de la TAM, as it were?


----------



## Orpheus

Lapping up the creme de la TAM one celebutante at a time. Saucer of milk for Table One, Mr Kitten is in the hiss-ouse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## angelpixie

So, Mr. Kitten -- purr something soft to cheer me after that movie.


----------



## Orpheus

Hey, at least you're not buying a house on a flood plane.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Orpheus

Plain? 

Too early. Kitty head fuzzy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford

I have been reading all about sex rank this morning and I have to say, I think you need to reconsider 'man-kitten'


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> Hey, at least you're not buying a house on a flood plane.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Meh. That didn't quite do it for me. Changing it to 'plain' didn't make a difference. 

Wind up was good. Need to work on the delivery, MK.


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> kind of extremely sad, actually. a handful of people egging on Bullwinkle and turning his prose into pageantry for their amusement. It's cute and funny in small doses. But there's a real guy there with real problems. And then you get the fwad responses that tell him how much of a rockstar he is because of his post count.
> 
> it would be nice if his TAM experience were also about introspection and moving forward rather than the welling jester of the vox populi.
> 
> but that's my 2 cents, about a thread i'm not in. that isn't mine. thank god.
> 
> so... Here's to ya' B. Hope they never find the body.


O - interesting response. I posted about your feedback (as the anonymous TAM friend and PC version) on BW's thread (and mine). I think the time for introspection and moving forward is coming for him. Check it out if you'd like.


----------



## angelpixie

Soca, I have to say I agree with O, FWIW. I checked out his thread a bit yesterday and the day before. I believe sardonic humor and a certain bit of hysteria are totally healthy and normal in this f'd situation many of us have been going through, but I don't think anyone is served by a lack of introspection from the get-go. One always has that quiet moment sometime in the day when the crazy emotions die down -- and then what? Fuel them back up, or start thinking?

I also found myself uncomfortable with the back-slapping regarding his post count, and the 'What are they going to do next?' popcorn-munching, Roman circus atmosphere. Yeah, OM's W was throwing eggs and a shoe at him. She's going through what we've been going through. How is that funny? I don't know. I wish BWinkle the best, I really do. I hope his landing is gradual and not a crash.


----------



## jpr

It is just all so sad. 

I remember feelings those feelings of rage....

There were times that I wanted to do something irrational ...like throw eggs at Sassie. ... The OM W's heart is breaking...it is sad.  For a time, I was full of that sort of rage. Thankfully, I had some friends who talked me down from a few cliffs and prevented me from doing things that I would have regretted later. ...although, some of my friends did 'egg' my rage on. 

I think I have lost my sense of humor with all that stuff.


----------



## Orpheus

dollyface, rank sex or sex rank? do tell me more. i got nothing to worry about girl. Kitten on the boards; Tiger between the sheets.

soca, hope it helps. seems to have slowed the carnage momentarily.

Angel, that's my girl. I would totally ski down a bear with you. 

JPR, welcome back from the hallowed halls of enbetterment. I'm trying hard to not make some sort of souffle comment. Hey girl. s'up.


----------



## soca70

angelpixie said:


> Soca, I have to say I agree with O, FWIW. I checked out his thread a bit yesterday and the day before. I believe sardonic humor and a certain bit of hysteria are totally healthy and normal in this f'd situation many of us have been going through, but I don't think anyone is served by a lack of introspection from the get-go. One always has that quiet moment sometime in the day when the crazy emotions die down -- and then what? Fuel them back up, or start thinking?
> 
> I also found myself uncomfortable with the back-slapping regarding his post count, and the 'What are they going to do next?' popcorn-munching, Roman circus atmosphere. Yeah, OM's W was throwing eggs and a shoe at him. She's going through what we've been going through. How is that funny? I don't know. I wish BWinkle the best, I really do. I hope his landing is gradual and not a crash.


AP - I agree it did have that atmosphere but the story and the story-telling was pretty riveting. I guess that's human nature. 

If you have time, please take a look at the thread again. I found O's input insightful and maybe a "wake-up call" so I threw his (and yours I see) point of view in there for discussion.


----------



## Conrad

Orpheus said:


> And then you get the fwad responses that tell him how much of a rockstar he is because of his post count.


Resident fwad in the house.

Why not say it in the thread?


----------



## jpr

Not a fan of souffle's...I prefer my eggs sunny-side-up.


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> dollyface, rank sex or sex rank? do tell me more. i got nothing to worry about girl. *Kitten on the boards; Tiger between the sheets.*


And that's all that counts.  So, IMO, just like with many other 'programs' or 'philosophies,' or the like, the whole sex rank thing is just another way that someone who didn't get the girl he wanted tried to explain things to himself. And it resonated with other guys in the same predicament. Everyone is sexy to someone. The trick is finding that someone. Not comparing scores and searching by parameters.



Orpheus said:


> Angel, that's my girl. I would totally ski down a bear with you.


Just say when, O. I'll let you know when you can start waxing your skis.


----------



## angelpixie

Conrad said:


> Resident fwad in the house.
> 
> Why not say it in the thread?


As there were quite a few posters in that thread, I find it interesting that _you _identified with that.


----------



## Conrad

angelpixie said:


> As there were quite a few posters in that thread, I find it interesting that _you _identified with that.


I'm the one that brought up the post count.

There's no mistake about who he's referring to.


----------



## Dollystanford

Orpheus said:


> dollyface, rank sex or sex rank? do tell me more. i got nothing to worry about girl. Kitten on the boards; Tiger between the sheets


So you're saying you're a grower not a shower?


----------



## angelpixie

:rofl:


----------



## Orpheus

Conrad said:


> Resident fwad in the house.
> 
> Why not say it in the thread?


Because I don't have a relationship with the OP. 

And I invoked your comments as the apex of what i didn't like about the way that thread was trending but in no way singled you out as the sole offender. Ginning up Bullwinkle had taken on a sort of mob mentality.


----------



## Conrad

Orpheus said:


> Because I don't have a relationship with the OP.
> 
> And I invoked your comments as the apex of what i didn't like about the way that thread was trending but in no way singled you out as the sole offender. Ginning up Bullwinkle had taken on a sort of mob mentality.


Be man enough to take it up with me directly next time.

Additionally, if you're going to refer to "fwad posts and/or fwad behavior", I wouldn't expect a friendly reception.


----------



## angelpixie

Conrad, I've been on TAM long enough to observe a couple of things. When dealing with other males, you tend to deal in binary thinking: behavior is judged as either 'male' (right) or 'not male' (wrong, or more pointedly, weak). When dealing with everyone in general, behavior is either 'right' (i.e., agreeing with you), or 'wrong' (i.e., disagreeing with you). I spoke up directly on Muskrat's thread, stating my feelings about attitudes being expressed on that thread, where I've participated since it's early days. I did not call anyone names, but the same courtesy was not shown to me by any of the 'men'. My opinion, which was also stated and shared by other women was not treated as valid. You and others like you kid yourselves when you think you offer anything other than arrogance and judgement. I've not said anything before, but the chest-beating and undeserved superiority is a bit much.
_Posted via Mobile Device

ETA: _It takes more than swinging one's internet c0ck to make one a man.


----------



## Conrad

Pixie,

Sorry you feel that way.


----------



## Orpheus

Conrad,

Nobody ever expected a friendly reception from you; nor did i have anything particular to address to you with regard to Bullwinkle's thread. As i said upstream, it was the group ethos that was undermining his situation by feeding only the spectacle. Of which, your example was the most glaringly abrasive.


----------



## Conrad

Orpheus said:


> Conrad,
> 
> Nobody ever expected a friendly reception from you; nor did i have anything particular to address to you with regard to Bullwinkle's thread. As i said upstream, it was the group ethos that was undermining his situation by feeding only the spectacle. Of which, your example was the most glaringly abrasive.


There were many more constructive ways to address it, as opposed to grumbling from the backbench - and sending others to speak for you.

I know more about you now than before.

Thanks for the insight.


----------



## angelpixie

Conrad. This will mean nothing to you, I'm sure. But I'm putting it out there for posterity. It was my choice to speak and I speak for myself. What I read here was the final straw, but I do not speak at anyone's direction. Especially not anymore. 

When there's bullshet afoot, I call it as I see it. 

And I really don't care how you feel about it, so spare me your trite comebacks. I've read your instructions to use them in other threads, remember?


----------



## Conrad

angelpixie said:


> Conrad. This will mean nothing to you, I'm sure. But I'm putting it out there for posterity. It was my choice to speak and I speak for myself. What I read here was the final straw, but I do not speak at anyone's direction. Especially not anymore.
> 
> When there's bullshet afoot, I call it as I see it.
> 
> And I really don't care how you feel about it, so spare me your trite comebacks. I've read your instructions to use them in other threads, remember?


I truly am sorry you feel that way.

May be some food for further reflection.


----------



## soca70

Guys-

I want to be clear on this so there are no misunderstandings. 

Orpheus and I keep each other updated regularly, and I referred him to Bullwinkle's thread as I thoight it was pretty spectacular. Orpheus consequently made some observations that made me concerned about the direction of some of the posts (including myself). Since these were not my observations, I did not want to take credit for making them, but did want to share them with the group the best way I could determine for discussion and evaluation. Unfortunately, this seems to have led to some conflict.

I, along with many others, have taken away great insight from all three of you, and as I stated earlier on BW's thread, the different viewpoints and approaches are what makes TAM such a valuable resource. I would like to acknowledge the fact that everyone's participation here is for the support and betterment of the folks that are unfortunately here with us.

I apologize to anyone who has been offended or made to feel uncomfortable.

Soca


----------



## Conrad

Who wouldn't object to being characterized as a "fwad"?

Especially when someone else was sent to deliver the message?


----------



## angelpixie

Conrad, twice now you've referred to someone being sent to deliver a message for Orpheus. Nothing of the kind happened. What did happen was explained to you by everyone involved. Either we are all lying, or you are mistaken. I wonder what evidence you are using to draw your conclusion.

As to your offense to 'fwad,' others equally object to being patronized for not agreeing with you, or ridiculed for not following your advice as if it is always right. Please remember how you feel when you start to respond in this often-characteristic manner.

None of us ended up here because we'd attained total enlightenment. And none of us will gain it from TAM. That doesn't mean we have nothing to teach each other, and it certainly doesn't mean we have nothing left to learn.

*******

And Soca, I just want to say that you haven't offended me at all, nor made me uncomfortable. I think you're great.


----------



## jpr

I have to chime in....It seems like the common them is that anyone who does not subscribe to a certain philosophy is a fool. (i.e....alpha male, 180, counseling every week, etc...)

We all have our own paths to walk...we all have our own perspectives. I really just wish that some people on this board would be less dismissive to people that have a different perspective than them. 


...thinking that Angel was doing the bidding for someone else...well...that is just insulting.

She has a brain that is fully functional on its own. Her brain does not need direction from a male counterpart. 


The reaction from the males to the female perspective on Muskrat's thread was particularly offensive. 


Quote from Conrad:
"Condemned for being honest again Calvin.

Almost tempts one to become a Niceguy enabler......

Been there - done that."

...so, I guess a NiceGuy is a male that actually listens to and reflects upon and VALUES a female perspective????? :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead: I don't get this.

You don't have to agree with the perspective...but, you also shouldn't just dismiss it. 

No ONE person has all the answers. We just have our own perspectives. So much can be gained by truly listening...without judgement. 


....these are just my thoughts. take them or leave them. I have stopped posting a lot recently because many of the people on this board seemed to be dismissive of dissenting perspectives.


----------



## Orpheus

Conrad,

Based on your cherry-picking of information here and your glad-handing in the other thread: you know nothing about me. You're acting like a child; not like a man. This weird spiteful, braying, bullying, beta thing that you do isn't complimentary. You pride yourself ("congratulate" is probably the correct word) on being the first person to diagnose and correct your own behavior.

So, I invite you to get your house in order. Men don't troll web forums to feel superior. Since you returned here a few weeks ago you've been far less empathetic, understanding and helpful than you were in the past. At least in the threads i've seen. And i noticed this prior to Bullwinkle's thread.

I think you have some valuable information and an interesting perspective to share with TAMers. And am usually glad that you're around regardless of the fact that our perspectives differ.

But i have better things to do than fuel your trollish fire. If you want to continue to misrepresent my remarks and play the wounded child then you can have my attention via PM or not at all. I'm not going to continue to engage this issue here.


----------



## Orpheus

So, on a happier note: death. 

My aunt has been battling cancer for about eight years or so. Dodging some virulent bouts with heavy chemo. And it looks like we are at the end of that battle as she's been fading fast over past few weeks. 

I've never been particularly close to my extended family. When my grandmother died I was in my early 20s and didn't handle it well. Didn't know what to say and shied away from contact. Others in my life have died suddenly or I didn't have much of a relationship with them. My aunt is my mothers only sister; and she's taking this poorly. This aunt is also the closest extended family member to me. 

Despite all the great steps forward in my immediate life, I'm wrestling with trying to be present and engaged with this sweet woman that is withering. I'm not doing a great job of it. But I'm trying to do a better job. 

Anyway. Sad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## soca70

O - how far away do you live from your mom and your aunt?


----------



## Dollystanford

It's important to do what you can. So many people just drop away when a person is ill. Always sad. But Dolly hugs will make you feel just a little better
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


----------



## Orpheus

soca too far to not be a major undertaking. aunt is in mn; mom ut.

dolly thanks. that's the model i'm trying for.

i'm softly reaching out to the cousins. going to try to call the aunt a few times a week. i gather she doesn't have a great view so i'm thinking of trying to paint something for her when i go to the Atlantic on saturday.


----------



## angelpixie

So sorry to see this, sweetie. The painting is a lovely idea; more so even because it's something uniquely from you. It will mean a lot that you put the time and the thought into it.

And I'm sure your cousins will appreciate the reach-out, too. 

You're all in my thoughts, E. ((((hugs))))
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jpr

I am sorry, O. I know this is hard.

My uncle is dying of cancer too. His time is super limited. ...and while I have never been particularly close to him, I do feel like I should be reaching out. He and his wife (my aunt) are very best friends...they couldn't have children, and all they have had is each other throughout the years. It is so sad to see this happening to them.

But, Dolly is right. You just need to reach out and do what you can do. I am making sure that I send pictures in the mail every week...and sending cards and writing letters.

That painting just sounds wonderful ...that is very thoughtful of you to think of that.


----------



## Orpheus

thank you ap and jpr.

jpr, sorry to hear about your uncle. we really don't address the elderly, sickness and death in this country. at times i feel as stupid about this as i once did about the divorce. just completely ill equipped.

i think i have an ok playbook. just a matter of forcing myself through the uncomfortable parts.

xo to all.


----------



## Orpheus

so the bad: aunt rushed to the hospital because of dehydration.

the good: sold that 50yo old photo to put money in the coffers and begin moving things in the right direction. made a call to get my student loans out of hock and remove the garnishment that they will levy on forthcoming job and if there should be any tax refund. and paid off last months rent and about 50% into what i owe them in addition to that.

my credit will be screwed up for a long time because of the bk and the foreclosure. but with the student loans turned around, that will actually become good debt in 10 mos. i'm in no hurry to have sterling credit. too much other damage to fix in the next 1-3 years. but everything is starting to point in the right direction. 

still need to wrestles taxes and a slew of ex-creditor issues to iron out. will get to that over the course of this next week as i begin to cram for new job.

oh, and i started another cleanse. off to put some miles in on the bike and then the inevitable yoga.

woah-oh here he comes... he's a man kitten.


----------



## angelpixie

Very sorry to hear about your aunt. I hope they're able to stabilize her and get her hydrated again. ((hugs)) 

*************

Awesome how things look like they're starting to turn around for you! You never gave up hope. It just took a couple small things to snowball into bigger and better things. (Wow! That gut feeling about 2013 comes true again!







 )

(Insert puns about being poised to leap into the future, landing on one's feet, having nine lives, enjoying catnip, catching mice, and coughing up hairballs. Well, maybe not that last one.)


----------



## Orpheus

Thanks AP. Stellar day on the bike. 8 personal records, shaved 10 seconds off the climb and had my first sub19min lap of CP for the year. Ended with a 31+ kph for 2 laps which means about 800 calories burned. All that means that i'm on track for a solid early season. First time in a while that i'm not catching up to spring fitness. I predict that I will blow those numbers away in another month.

My Terax arrived by UPS and i'm gearing up for a little rain tomorrow and some vip passes to the big Armory Art Show. Until then gonna make some juice and strap into an hour of kundalini.

speaking of which... you asked by email ap... it's a slower and more meditative yoga. definitely not power yoga. and that's what i like. centers me and keeps the cray cray on the inside.


----------



## angelpixie

Orpheus said:


> definitely not power yoga.


That reminds me of a video we used to have when I worked at the public library in MN. 'Aerobic Yoga' or something similar. Seemed like an oxymoron to us. One of my co-workers took it home and tried it, and said she thought it was dangerous (and she was in excellent shape). Something about doing all the poses quickly, and trying to breathe at the same time...


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> my credit will be screwed up for a long time because of the bk and the foreclosure.
> 
> woah-oh here he comes... he's a man kitten.


O - if you don't mind, can you catch me up with what happened here with the BK and foreclosure?

Also, why am I not getting these cat references?:scratchhead:


----------



## Orpheus

you're missing almost nothing. the magic cat thing in your thread was a reference to the Cat in the Hat until AP one-upped me with Snagglepuss. But a few weeks back, i referred to myself as Man-Kitten for some late winter night tv watching thing and now i bring it up here and at AP whenever i'm feeling devilish.

Back in the beginning, I had a long thread on the Pain and Suffering forum about the hollow shell of my life. Short story is that i worked for a small but important company that Enron-ed. In a small community it meant that i needed to change careers because the association was too negative. And then the credit collapse happened and i got married. Which was the bigger disaster? anyway, during that period I lost the investment property and because of liens it forced me into bankruptcy. Had to hold on the bk until the unit finally foreclosed. Because of the backup it took a couple of years for the bank to foreclose on the property. And then last summer, I started my bk within a couple of weeks of my ex and separating. It finally resolved early winter. And my divorce finalized at the first of the year. Jan/Feb was a huge job rush for me as i was behind on rent and finally clear of some hurdles. And there we have it. Start new job on Tuesday.

I'll spend the next few months jumping through hoops to see if this will work. And in the meantime, I can shore things up and stave off damage in case i have to reset again. But i've got some glide back in my stride and it won't ever be as bad as it used to be. it'll be some new bad.


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> you're missing almost nothing. the magic cat thing in your thread was a reference to the Cat in the Hat until AP one-upped me with Snagglepuss. But a few weeks back, i referred to myself as Man-Kitten for some late winter night tv watching thing and now i bring it up here and at AP whenever i'm feeling devilish.
> 
> Back in the beginning, I had a long thread on the Pain and Suffering forum about the hollow shell of my life. Short story is that i worked for a small but important company that Enron-ed. In a small community it meant that i needed to change careers because the association was too negative. And then the credit collapse happened and i got married. Which was the bigger disaster? anyway, during that period I lost the investment property and because of liens it forced me into bankruptcy. Had to hold on the bk until the unit finally foreclosed. Because of the backup it took a couple of years for the bank to foreclose on the property. And then last summer, I started my bk within a couple of weeks of my ex and separating. It finally resolved early winter. And my divorce finalized at the first of the year. Jan/Feb was a huge job rush for me as i was behind on rent and finally clear of some hurdles. And there we have it. Start new job on Tuesday.
> 
> I'll spend the next few months jumping through hoops to see if this will work. And in the meantime, I can shore things up and stave off damage in case i have to reset again. But i've got some glide back in my stride and it won't ever be as bad as it used to be. it'll be some new bad.


Thanks for the background, O. I read somewhere that the recession that begin in 2008 really put the screws to a lot of marriages as well due to financial stresses. Sounds like we may be some of the flotsam and jetsam bobbing in the wake.

But hopefully, we are incrementally getting closer to washing up on the distant shore.


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> you're missing almost nothing. the magic cat thing in your thread was a reference to the Cat in the Hat until AP one-upped me with Snagglepuss. But a few weeks back, i referred to myself as Man-Kitten for some late winter night tv watching thing and now i bring it up here and at AP whenever i'm feeling devilish.


And this is slightly disturbing


----------



## Orpheus

dude, if i only hit "slightly disturbing" then i'm not doing my job right.

My private eco collapse was '07. So my divorce AND marriage were probably a product of the Depression. 

Can't find new horizons without leaving familiar shores. Come about lively, Mr. Soca. Keep the wind two points off the starboard bow. Straight on til morning.


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> dude, if i only hit "slightly disturbing" then i'm not doing my job right.
> 
> .


OK - we're the same age so do you remember that TV show "Caroline in the City" with Lea Thompson? She had this best friend that was an extra on Broadway in "Cats" and would always be wearing her costume around the apartment coming in from work. Unfortunately, this is what I'm picturing.

AP is good with the graphics so maybe she can find this!


----------



## soca70

Here it is...I hope this works


----------



## angelpixie

Sooooo not how I picture O.


----------



## soca70

angelpixie said:


> Sooooo not how I picture O.


Does that not scream "Man Kitten"?


----------



## angelpixie

I plead the Fifth.


----------



## Dollystanford

Now I'm laughing at the idea of someone screaming 'Man Kitten!!!' in the throes of passion


----------



## angelpixie

I plead the Fifth.


----------



## Dollystanford




----------



## angelpixie

Hmm. What does that have to do with a Man Kitten? :scratchhead:


----------



## Dollystanford

By all accounts....everything...


----------



## jpr

Man-kittens are SCARY!












yikes!


----------



## Dollystanford

He's dead now


----------



## jpr

oh.


----------



## jpr

well... 

Men with Kittens are not scary.










hubba hubba.


----------



## Dollystanford

He committed suicide. He was mentally ill. In case you hadn't noticed from the CAT FACE


----------



## Orpheus

not to bring all your suicidal man kitten hilarity to a screeching halt. but.

unfortunately my aunt passed away this afternoon. got the word from the internet while i was at the big fancy contemporary art show on the Hudson. sat at the bar with some coffee and cried for a few minutes watching the snow salt down from a low gray sky. and then bucked myself up enough to go do the opening at the new job and do the meet-and-greet thing with the new coworkers.

don't know how the weekend is going to play out. or if i can swing getting back to mpls for the funeral. the next 24hrs will tell much. just tired and wet and sad.

thanks for the fun upstream. made me smile. and really... "Caroline in the City"?? I might be your age Soca but you are a totally different kinda cat. So to speak.


----------



## soca70

Orpheus said:


> not to bring all your suicidal man kitten hilarity to a screeching halt. but.
> 
> unfortunately my aunt passed away this afternoon. got the word from the internet while i was at the big fancy contemporary art show on the Hudson. sat at the bar with some coffee and cried for a few minutes watching the snow salt down from a low gray sky. and then bucked myself up enough to go do the opening at the new job and do the meet-and-greet thing with the new coworkers.
> 
> don't know how the weekend is going to play out. or if i can swing getting back to mpls for the funeral. the next 24hrs will tell much. just tired and wet and sad.
> 
> thanks for the fun upstream. made me smile. and really... "Caroline in the City"?? I might be your age Soca but you are a totally different kinda cat. So to speak.


O - so sorry for your loss. Just be there for your family as much as you can - that's all they want at times like this.

On a lighter note, I am actually a dog person - highly allergic to cats. I don't know why "Man Kitten" triggered such a random association for me. I admit I had to do a little internet research to get the specifics of "caroline".


----------



## Orpheus

Thanks Soca. Don't tell the wailing widows of TAM but I'm totes a dog guy too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angelpixie

Sorry to hear about your aunt, sweetie, and for your sadness. I hope you'll be able to work out the trip back to MN. ((((angel hugs)))) to you.




**highly allergic to cats myself...actually, allergic to dogs, too, but since I'm a dog person, I suffered through years of allergy shots so I can get one someday **


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## Dollystanford

Sorry to hear that kitty kat *hugs and stuff*

My cat is currently chasing my toes under the duvet. The thought of putting the f*cker in a sack and taking it to the river is never far from my mind...



Kidding! Cats rule all


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## unsure78

Sorry for your loss O, Hugs


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## Orpheus

thank you Dolly and Unsure.

Home with the snow piling up outside. waiting for my mom to get back to me about her travel plans.


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## Orpheus

well, Man-Kitten litter, i'm off to sleep and then jetting out to Mpls mid day tomorrow. my mom is train wreck. my little sister and i are working out our own itinerary. it'll be... interesting. lots of Catholic black and sadness. punctuated by seeing some great people that i don't see often enough in a really trying environment.


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## soca70

Orpheus said:


> well, Man-Kitten litter, i'm off to sleep and then jetting out to Mpls mid day tomorrow. my mom is train wreck. my little sister and i are working out our own itinerary. it'll be... interesting. lots of Catholic black and sadness. punctuated by seeing some great people that i don't see often enough in a really trying environment.


O- great that you were able to make it out for your family. This is where "suiting up and showing up" is all that you need to do.


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## jpr

I am so sorry to hear about your aunt, O. I am sure that your family appreciates you making the trek to be there with them.

I am sorry for your loss.


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## MyselfAgain

Thinking of you, O...praying that your aunt is at peace and that your family will find comfort in each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Orpheus

Thank you all. Pre-board beer at MSP waiting on my flight. Services were good. Family abundant. Food a pile of greasy sludge. 

Great to reup with all those people. Managed to score a five min vid of 7yo me playing trumpet next to my long dead father. Should be an interesting watch. 

Thanks for the TAM love.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angelpixie

Hi, sweetie. Glad to hear you made it there and almost back OK.


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## Dollystanford

Welcome back darling
Got to say to us 'Wire' watchers 'reup' means something TOTALLY different ha ha


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## soca70

Safe travels, O!


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## soca70

O - how's it going? You've been purr-fectly quiet. (Yes - i know)


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## Orpheus

aaaaaand, we're back.

hello kids. week one of the new job. totes glamourpuss photoshoot hotness every day. i have lunch around the corner at the Martha Stewart building and the cafe is filled with starstruck nubile a$$. i feel sorry for my other male coworker that's in a relationship. and that's just the tip of the iceberg. 

singletown in the big city, mofos. drink heavily. i can get on board with this. 

lots of stress to ramp up on the job and i do homework every night. it's a fulltime overtime thing and i'll go hard at it for a few months until i bring in some money or they fire me. i'd like to do well but the funny thing is that after the hell of this past year... it's just a job. during this vetting period, i'll only continue to get stronger and better and more attractive to a future employer or when holding my current employer's feet to the coals in the review.

i still miss my ex at times. like an old cough that burbles up when the barometer sinks. but i know it's the ideal that i miss. or heck, it's just the good stuff that i miss. i don't miss how she made me miserable or how she refused the work on things.

at the funeral last week, i had a good chance to talk to my youngest sister who said she was still mad at ex and wanted to take a swing at her. i asked her why and she immediately listed about 10 things that i'd minimized away. 

i'm going to be ok.

i used to feel like i was practicing to say that. my best times are still in front of me but i've done the work to get out of the pit and i'm on the lip and dusting myself off. the world is filled with light.

life's like a motherfunking rainbow, yo. write your own ending.


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## angelpixie

And....scene.

The Muppet Movie- The Rainbow Connection Finale - YouTube

Is this farewell, Man Kitten? If so, then fare thee well.


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## Orpheus

farewell? i think you extol my departure prematurely, AP.

i'm much much busier and won't be here as often but the After Divorce department here at TAM doesn't have to be populated by human wreckage. For example, your fine thread is often upbeat. I can't still waiting for Soca to transfer over so i can get my wings.


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## 06Daddio08

Apparently there's a whole shwack of "wings" out there to obtain.

Glad to see you're doing well, regardless of minor mental setbacks from time to time.


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## Orpheus

thanks, UpDaddy. I'm doing great.


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## Orpheus

I’ve been powering down my TAM usage. It’s been 10 months from my separation and three months now from my divorce having finalized. It’s been a wild ride. I’ve moved from "Going Through" to "After Divorce". For about six months, I populated a thread on "Going Through" and then pulled it down before ultimately moving here and changing the focus of my dialogue on TAM. A new conversation about recovery and succeeding.

My life was a mess. My marriage was a mess. It is safe to say that I was at rock bottom in the months that followed my separation from my then wife. Thank you TAM for helping me through a seemingly impossible situation. I’ve seen many people here come and go. Some have become very close friends, through thick and thin. And some are momentary confidants that pass through the digital night bearing their own burdens and offering and taking whatever advice suffices. Thankfully, most have naturally moved on.

It’s not been my habit to suffer personality conflicts. There are a few public instances of people saying really dreadful things to me that I've sloughed off; and an example earlier in this thread where Conrad and I had a discussion over an allusion i made to remarks of his in somebody else's thread. In that instance, I didn’t call him out because my comments weren’t about him; they were about the group dynamic that was trending in that thread. I think it was resolved mostly well. We are all in the "Going Through" and "After Divorce" because of damage in our lives and nobody needs additional misery. Which brings me to the following...

Nobody needs additional misery. I’m moving through my life and out of the wreckage of the previous year and probably the years before that. 

So, I am writing to tell you that I’m am escalating my infrequency at TAM. The reason being is that i got a really awful letter this week from somebody that I thought was a friend here at TAM. A letter that preyed on my history as presented here. It made accusations and assumptions about my character. Admonished me for failing to pore over the minutiae of their posts during the week while i was dealing with a family death and embarking on a new career. And told me in a number of ways that they preferred me when i was broken. 

It is deplorable in its content and guise. It’s not the first time that this person has acted out or been inappropriate in their communication with me. And it has colored these waning hours on TAM for me.

As time travels on I may still come back here to check on this thread, and bully-up some darlings on "Going Through", but I am going to move on which is what I hope for all of you. TAM has helped me settle my affairs and get my head right. It has helped me not be a victim of my failed marriage. My experience here has nearly, mostly been positive. And I thank you all for the perspective.

If you’ve read this far, then know that there is light at the end of whatever tunnel you may be in. But it's on you. Your life is up to you. And if you are ever in the dark night of your pain you need a friend, know that your friendly neighborhood Orpheus is only a PM away... whether we’ve spoken before or if you’re fresh onboard to the pain-train and just now catching up on what will soon become an old thread. Please reach out and talk to any of us.

Best of luck on your trip. Seek help where you may. But always be your own keeper. You are a tender light that licks away against the great dark breeze of the cosmos. Shine on babies.


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## vi_bride04

Damn.......I've been feeling the same way lately.....

Been a year since I joined...trying to fix my marriage. I am in a completely different space with myself....I look back,read my thread and it blows my mind. 

I really enjoy reading updates to threads but haven't felt the need to post as often as I used to. It is a great feeling though to realize your life is ok since you arent staying up till whatever hour posting sh!t on TAM...oh insomnia, how I don't miss you


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## 06Daddio08

Best of luck to you Orphy. TAM is really no different than any other place where you run into people, except the majority of us end up here for the same general reason. Dissolving of a marriage or long term relationship, so this makes it much easier to 'open up' and 'connect'.

Yet, there are a few around here, no different than anywhere else, that are quite determined to cram there own opinions down your throat and when you don't follow them to a last dotted line, are considered no longer of 'importance'.

Validation seeking works in many different ways, I've seen a helva lot of it on here as TAM has shown me the nature of many different types of people.

There's good.

There's bad.

That's life.


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## Orpheus

thanks again for all your support.

i'm out of phase one at the job and going into phase two. everything is still super delicate but i've got good momentum.

private life is a bit on hold as i race to make the job work. it's nice to not be thinking about this past year. i might be a boring fock but at least i'm paying my bills and moving forward on ALL fronts. the joy of "normalcy" is just pure bliss. i hope i can always remember and be thankful for this feeling. wow.

x
e


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## Orpheus

...a few weeks later. 

just checking in to say "hi". 

things are going well. i'm what i'm calling phase 2 with the job. i've jumped through all the mandatory first hoops and have been given greater rope with which to hang myself. that's life.

it may not be the perfect job but i continue to keep pushing things forward and stretching my wings. finances are a little rickety but fine. some confusion about whether or not i got paid 2x a month or 1x. and because of that it'll take me another 6 weeks to catch up with my budget. a minor set back.

i'm splitting my time between the two locations and work on my own 3 days a week. i'll stay nose to the grind stone for another six weeks and then reassess. right now there feels like there needs to be some push back but i'm too new and everything is still super precarious. so it would be stupid of me to do the "right thing" until everything is tighter on the home front.

i got one of those terrible credit cards. high interest etc. but it's the beginning of rebuilding the credit score. not something i'm terribly worried about but a back channel that needs a little effort. so i ran up some mandatory expenses on it and will pay it off slowly and consistently. 

and this past week i'm finally starting to flirt with women around me. feels super odd. having been off that horse for a few years. still getting the feel for it. no rush. i've got tons of damage to heal. 

stretching out everywhere. trying to revisit my notes and cheat sheets and stay true to myself. to hold on to my lessons and be happy with the life i've given myself.

i still have hiccups about the ex but it's all been manageable since the final divorce papers went through at the first of the year. i get sad and mopey for a few hours and then it goes away. for example, it's her birthday in a few days. last year's celebration was the last great time we probably had together. and it also marks the month before our separation. so i imagine this next month will flag me with moments of anxiety as i remember the calendar flipping over. none of that is debilitating. and i don't think it's out of the normal.

i continue to point my friends and acquaintances to TAM when they are in need.

i am really truly thankful to so many people here that let me in to their lives and let me share their stories and helped me get to the finish line. again, thank you all.


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## Orpheus

Happy Unnaversary.

Hello, TAMily. It's been a while and that's a really good thing. I would say that there aren't any major happenings but that itself is a pretty big development.

The job continues to truck along. It isn't paradise. I'm doing adequately and working tons. It may not be anything more than a stop but it's paying the bills and everything is moving forward financially which is wonderful. I just got back from a work trip to SF. 

I've begun to date. It's awkward. And I'm awful at it. But i have zero expectations which helps smooth out the rough patches and I just consider it more mileage on the road so that i can get to where i need to be. I've met women though the place I work; from the woodworks of FB; and I signed on to Tinder (iphone app) which is sort of ingenious. No love connections yet.

I'm pushing everything forward and I'm on the front end of revisiting everything I've sworn I said I was going to do and promised myself over this past year. I want to recapture all of the victories in there and continue to take stock in me.

Sadly, I just let a longtime friend go today. She'd entered into a probono relationship with my X for her non-profit and sort of snuck around my back all things regarding it. She sent me a bunch of emails this week finally realizing that she'd valued the freebie legal work over my relationship and that she was sorry. But I decided that I'm going to value my self more and just move on. Though I am sad at the outcome; I am happy that I am protecting myself better and holding myself up.

So, today is the day. The day last year that I told my exwife that I wanted a divorce. 

Wow, what a crazy year.

I've been mopey this week. And sad today. But mostly sad for me. And sad at the loss of the dream of the life I wanted to share with her. Not specifically about her. She's just an aspect of the thing that I'm upset about. And I get all this. It's about me.

So, I'm allowing myself to be sad today and deciding that this "birthday" will be the end of my mourning. It will be the passage into just letting go of it. I've waited for the day that I was going to say that to myself. And to be sure, I've had a number of successes where I've come out of the darkness and marked my battles from millimeters to yards. But i'm now out in the real world with other real people and not just in my head and the blackness all the time.

I wouldn't relive the misery of this past year for all of my exwife's money.

I'm just another divorced dude in a huge city. And I'm ok.

love to all. x,e.


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## soca70

Thanks, O, for the update!

Hope your week gets off to a RAWR-ing start! (yes I know...)


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## Orpheus

Lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soca70

Why that makes me laugh I don't know...


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## Orpheus

hello, next month.

boy that time sure keeps on flying by.

there's a new Louis CK link in my sig that everyone should check out. and there's also a very well written article from The Daily Love that i linked about knowing when to leave. I'm still subscribed to The Daily Love and it has been an incredible lifeline this past year. I often skim what it has to offer but once or twice a week there is something there that stops me and makes me take a good hard look at myself.

As of next month, i will sort of be at right with the world. The pay schedule at the new job threw me off a bit which took a few months to correct against. Next month will be the last time that 30% of my check won't be going against damage to banking credit stuff from recent juggling. The job will be slow over the summer, but a friend has shown me a moonlighting possibility; and there's always the chance that some freelance design work will come home to roost.

I've been on Tinder for the past month. It's sort of a Hot-or-Not dating app that plugs into Facebook. So you either like somebody or not. If you both like each other then it opens a channel for you to chat. If you have mutual FB interests it flags that for you. And people are more or less genuine human beings because it's extracted from the FB info which most people hold sacrosanct. I haven't had great dates from it. But the point is that i've had dates. I sort of expect my dating to go poorly until more time has gone by and there's a greater sea of flesh between me and the desert island of my ex-marriage.

I'm a normal divorced person. nothing to see here. and that's quite an accomplishment.


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## Orpheus

Happy Birthday to me, i suppose. One year at TAM. I was well into my separation when on July 4th I saw photos of my ex at some cheesy club with her friends. It was the first of many heavy spirals. In the days that followed my misery went to new depths. And eventually, somehow I found TAM. Though not as readily as you might expect.

I'm thankful to the friends and drifters that have visited this thread and the earlier thread that documented my wallow and confusion. And i'm super grateful to the masses here that are willing to share their stories and their confusion, grief and suffering. Knowing that you are not alone or that your problems are actually somewhat common help you find some sense of normalcy. And at some point you can use that bar as a marker towards what to work towards. And then you're there and suddenly you're sailing into tomorrow.

What an awful year though. Maybe one of four truly horrible years in my life. I suppose there will be others. But better or worse is a bad trap. Best for now and better for tomorrow are what i'm looking for.

Things truck forward. Good and bad. But with perspective, much of it just looks normal now. I won't bother you with minutiae. 

I just want to thank the folks here that never let me down; even when sometimes I let myself down.

For the better part of this last year I've cobbled together a "plan" that I had in front of me each day. It was at the top of my To Do list. It's been changed a little but mostly it's been a map out of the past and towards a better future. Thought it might be good to share it. It may not apply to you (at all). But it's mine. And it worked for me...



> KEEP/
> Disposition! / Foster mystery and adventure / Always choose doing things with others over staying at home / Behavior is a choice; change your perspective and change your behavior / Exercise 5x a week, either cycling or yoga / Manners. Posture. Weight. Desire / You are the common denominator in your problems / have a life filled with considered things / generosity and kindness / build community / women initiate most divorces: somehow they got it into their head that marriage is about being entertained / eliminate externals / you know you have finally moved on when you find your own misery boring / there is no balance, only fulfillment / Lead with love; not fear. Fear never results in fulfillment / Don't take others for granted / Acknowledge what is present. Compliment the mundane / Seek help / Maintain boundaries. Evaluate codependency. Promote individuality. / Wait before answering in anger / Seek to understand the message not the words. Listen to actions not words / Never accept less from others



Thanks.


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## soca70

Orpheus said:


> Happy Birthday to me, i suppose. One year at TAM. I was well into my separation when on July 4th I saw photos of my ex at some cheesy club with her friends. It was the first of many heavy spirals. In the days that followed my misery went to new depths. And eventually, somehow I found TAM. Though not as readily as you might expect.
> 
> I'm thankful to the friends and drifters that have visited this thread and the earlier thread that documented my wallow and confusion. And i'm super grateful to the masses here that are willing to share their stories and their confusion, grief and suffering. Knowing that you are not alone or that your problems are actually somewhat common help you find some sense of normalcy. And at some point you can use that bar as a marker towards what to work towards. And then you're there and suddenly you're sailing into tomorrow.
> 
> What an awful year though. Maybe one of four truly horrible years in my life. I suppose there will be others. But better or worse is a bad trap. Best for now and better for tomorrow are what i'm looking for.
> 
> Things truck forward. Good and bad. But with perspective, much of it just looks normal now. I won't bother you with minutiae.
> 
> I just want to thank the folks here that never let me down; even when sometimes I let myself down.
> 
> For the better part of this last year I've cobbled together a "plan" that I had in front of me each day. It was at the top of my To Do list. It's been changed a little but mostly it's been a map out of the past and towards a better future. Thought it might be good to share it. It may not apply to you (at all). But it's mine. And it worked for me...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks.


O - that's a fantastic list. I agree with setting goals and working towards them in a methodical way. Hope you are feeling better. It's two steps forward, one step back sometimes. And yes pics are a huge trigger which is why I will not "research" the X's social media. Go on a successful (or at least an enjoyable) date and I think you'll find that helps a lot!  With that stylin' pic, should be no problem!


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## Orpheus

soca70 said:


> Go on a successful (or at least an enjoyable) date


look at you... handing out romance advice. 

I've been dating, soca. For about six weeks or so. Nothing that has caught traction yet and a plethora of false starts. Dating is drudgery. But it's a process. Eventually, I'll find somebody that bill and coos in the way that sets off fireworks and i'll be off to the races again.

I should warn that my first few dates back in were Awful. You got off lightly with your Peach excursion. lol.


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## soca70

Why are these dates so awful? What's going wrong?


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## Orpheus

I'm going wrong. Expectations in the wrong place. Out of practice. Picking the wrong people. It's gotten better, by miles. But I'm not in a relationship; and i'm not looking to be in a relationship.

I just had to relearn the current tropes for dating.


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## Orpheus

T-5 hours until "4th Anniversary". Been a basketcase the past two weeks leading up to this. Wish there was more cool, calm and collected. But there isn't.

I go over a mental list of all the hell she put me through. It doesn't help much. Try to remind myself that i miss the dream of the life i wanted rather than the shell of a relationship that i had.

Guess it's ok to feel bad on my "anniversary".

sigh. back to tears. cried in the middle of a bike ride last week. ugh. i'm a mess. ok. and ::scene::.


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## realitybites

I hear ya. My 14th "anniversary" is tomorrow...the first as an official divorcee. I thought there would be more emotion but I think since it's really been over for about 3 years I think all my emotions about it are just calloused over now. Still sucks though...I know exactly what you mean about that life you wanted...I still think about that. What it could've been. Still trying to learn to push all that aside now and focus ahead..."keep moving forward" as that movie says LOL

All the best to you. Going back to watch my Reds get the beat down by the Pirates.


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## Orpheus

Not sure if "Blue Valentine" was an inspired or dire choice of movies tonight. But yeah... October 2nd. f'me. My first as a divorcee. Last year we were separated so there was the immolation of whether or not things could ever possibly be fixed. This year... just a ghost of what might have been. in my head.

Thanks for touching base, RB. Best luck to both of us tomorrow. And good luck with your game.


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## gulfwarvet

Good to see you drop by. Sorry to hear you have been going through a somewhat emotional time, but I guess we have to expect these dang triggers.
There is no two ways about it, coming back from this stuff is hard.
Things sound really positive though, your out there and trying, and that's the main thing.


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## soca70

O - good to hear from you! How's the job going?


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## realitybites

Hey O,

Just wanted to offer you encouragement on this day that neither of us are enjoying. The day is almost over!

Have a restful night and hope the emotions aren't welling too much.

Stay strong friend,
Scott


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## Orpheus

thanks all for the well wishing. kept busy. treated myself well. did some stuff for me and walked through some simple facts... good people get divorced all the time. neither party needs to be all right or all wrong. it can just be a mess that inevitably gets out of control. it's ok to feel bad and it's ok to move on.

sure, super sad at points today. but the anticipation of the thing was maybe worse than the actual day. sort of tough to throw your own pity party but hey... who else is going to remember? everybody else has moved on with their lives.

again, thanks. just nice to touch base with some folks that know it's a dredge.


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## Orpheus

hi.

oh the twists and turns. and then the roll. that's how they get you, isn't it? the roll.

life goes on. and that's the best thing i can say. normal crazy. normal highs and lows. lots of managing reality and expectations and then you wake up and it's another day. 

when i was least looking for it, i found somebody new. i don't know where it will end up. but it's loving, adult, open and filled with all the hormones and pheromones of yore. she breaks all sorts of new ground for me. and it's all sorts of pitter patter.

i'd read often that you don't really move on from your last relationship until you're in your next one. i'd heard that a number of times before but met it with mixed blessings as sort of running from one thing to the next without dealing with it on your own terms. that said, having an chemical onrush of new certainly helps you burn out the old. i'm finally able to look at pics of my ex-wife without feeling like i'm being hit by an axe. wishing her the best might be a stretch of the imagination but a bland "huh" is lightyears from where i used to be.

so i've moved on. i've been moving on for a while. things slipping away... her voice, her laugh, her smile. the things you think you'll never forget until they're just gone. 

but i am too. i no longer populate that burial ground of my former life. some... 18 mos?... later and i've turned in the key and moved on. completely.

if you know my story or are just getting caught up, i wanted to remind you that it's OK to move on. that things DO get better. And life goes on. And then whammo that next person appears and all of a sudden a new chapter begins.

They say that you won't move on until even you find your misery boring.

Should i post again on TAM it won't be as a man dealing with a divorce or being divorced. Those are the things i was. Today, i'm just a man. 

A man who wishes you all the best.


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## realitybites

Very glad to hear that Orpheus! My divorce has been final since last July and my xw is now getting remarried in a month. I feel like I'm finally starting to get past things...first the discovery, then the counseling, then the separation, the divorce, her dating others, etc. Each new stage brought some new pain not felt before, but with each passing day, I think things are subsiding. I don't feel like I'm in a place to start dating again just yet, but perhaps in the next several months I can begin to think about that again.

But at any rate, glad to hear things are on the up and up for you!


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