# I no longer have enjoyable hobbies I can enjoy



## preso (May 1, 2009)

because of our situation with retirment and moving in a few years. I can no longer shop as we are downsizing.
I am all out of wack with life partially due to this.. and also selling things.
I have donated or sold about 20% of my things and still have another 30% to go that I'm spacing out so it will be used up and sold by the time we move.
I can't cook because my husband does not like anything I cook and I do not like his food and food preferences( pizza, fried chicken, etc).
We made a mutual choice that I would stop work to begin the decluttering and since its mostly seasonal to sell things, I am often with nothing to do.
I cannot work as it puts us too high into taxes since I have investments and husband has a high income... so
I am usually bored and don't know what to do with my life. I feel like I'm in limbo land waiting for his retirement so we can move and get on with life, until then, its just waiting and there are still a handful of years to go !
I am sick of watching discovery channel.
I hate the dog because he is mean, dumb and smells... on top of this, where we have to live until he retires is not a nice place to live... very high crime so I can't even go to a park. We are living in what was once one of my rent houses. 

I am finding I am in a new phase of life and alone....
and going crazy.
sad... dont know what to do 
H works about 72-82 hours a week and will not work less as he is padding his pension he says...
so
what am I supposed to do?


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## picabu (Mar 11, 2009)

peso,

Have you thought about volunteering at a local hospital/school/daycare??? You would see & meet lots of interesting people in a any of these settings and it would get you out of the house, you wouldn't be alone & it would kill time.

I don't get that you are a pet person or i would also suggest animal shelters usually take volunteers. By the way...hows that puppy. LOL


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

picabu said:


> peso,
> 
> Have you thought about volunteering at a local hospital/school/daycare??? You would see & meet lots of interesting people in a any of these settings and it would get you out of the house, you wouldn't be alone & it would kill time.
> 
> I don't get that you are a pet person or i would also suggest animal shelters usually take volunteers. By the way...hows that puppy. LOL



Looked into volunteering but did not see anything that sounded good. For one thing, I worked in medical over 30 years and had enough of sickness and death, so that is out of the question.
Then I looked into some voulnteer positions with law enforcement and many of those are for FULL TIME voluenteers !
no way I want to work full time and for free !
Working with animals... nooooooooooo thanks... not only do they bite they smell and again there is so much sadness in that area. Seems there is nothong fun to voulnteer for.
ps.. I also dont want to be around kids.
so there seemds to be nothing.
Husband said to take some art or workout classes, which may be the only option. I'd like to find something fun to do without responsibilities, as if I'm volunteering I should not have to be held to a full time work load...
and all the plkaces I check around here want full time.

I am also looking into nursing home help, like to help set up bingo or work in the beauty shop or something that is not really work... maybe an hour or two mon-friday
but I will have some problems with this maybe because I dont want any of them to know I have a medical degree...
so it will have to be hush hush... as to this so I dont get roped into working and open myself up to potential lawsuits.

so much freaking hassle, all this.

do you have any more ideas?
there has to be something to take my mind away from the fact my husband is a workaholic.
I also thought about re-kindling some old friendships but I dont think that may work because many of my old friends had not done much wioth their lives and might not like me anymore ( since I did ok in my life) and the potential jealousy problem.

I'm without ideas.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I just called a old friend and she found me a part time volunteer job in 5 seconds, reading to people. I start tuesday, and go every tuesday for a few hours.

I used to work at the facility and know her. She told me to COME ON INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
so...

Thats a start I guess.

ps... stupid workaholic husband... ugh
but it will bring me more happiness than shopping. Can't buy anything anyway since we're moving.
so this will be a start.
I think I can do other volunteer things there too.... 
until I find something I like.

I told her she cannot tell anyone I have a medical degree...
and no begging for me to go to work there. she said ok.
so................
its a start.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I feel like im kind of in the same boat. school just ended today and already im ansy. what in the world am i going to do with myself! i just moved to a new state with my H, I am not a social person, and i have four weeks until my next semester starts. eh. 

i also easily slip into depression. so one of my goals is going to be to limit my thinking and maximize my actions. that might sound odd, but ive found it works. 

im just going to make up a schedule for myself that will consist of cleaning, working out, going to a church, and sleeping. I know i have to socialize even though i dont like it. its like my medicine. i also bought an online course (biblical hebrew) to keep my mind busy. 

I was also thinking that you may find your situation so unbearable because of your field. I worked in the medical field for a few years and the pace was so hectic. and the emotions run high. its a very intense environment. It can be hard adjusting to the normal, slow, even keel pace of 'regular' life. I think it can make it difficult to find pleasure in the little things.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

yes thats partly it.. I am not used to doing nothing.
and I do not care to socialize much. For one thing I dont drink and I dont care to be around it.... and I do not do drugs and do not want any involvement with them or anyone who uses recreational drugs.
I am going to have to find a clean batch of friends if I'm going to be socializing.

Far as the pace of life now, it is slow, and I am ok with that... but just not all the time.
My H just woke up to get a snack and I told him about my new job reading to people and he said he was happy I found something to do that I won't get into trouble.
so...
I'm being forced to be social and get out there... and wait for him.
I still refuse to cook or eat that slop he calls "food".
ugh
anyway, I'm doing my best but this is not how I thought things would be. My husband is never around and when he is, he's sleeping. I have to make a whole life for myself, until he can retire.... or I'll go nuts.
One night this week I have arranged to get into a womans support group locally. This group is for woman with workaholic husbands. Will see how that goes, Maybe make some new friends.

I am also interested in going to church. Would like to find someone in my area to go with me, perhaps another woman with a workaholic husband.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

they have support groups for women of work-aholic husbands. that's cool. that is a good place to start. i should look up some alanon meetings in my area to go to. 

my H is not a workaholic, he just plays racketball most of the morning so then he has to work later. and then when he gets home sometimes he plays computer games all night with his coworkers. it doesnt bother me when im in school, but now that im out i have to find something to keep my mind off it. 

i'll probably just go to church by myself. ive lived in four different states and had to go by myself there, too, so i guess im just used to it.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I guess what we have in common is an absent husband... although for different reasons.


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