# Changing names????



## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Ok, yes! I'm a newbie at divorce. Since I am going to join the ranks of the "experienced" divorcees, I have to ask. Do the W's change their last names from the married name back to their maiden names? Serious question, if so, is that done in a divorce decree? Is that optional for the ex. I am just curious, I have no idea what my stbxw thinks about this but I am really curious. Sorry for the question ladies; I know this is probably just another issue to deal with. I'd like to get a couple of opinions.
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## nodespair (Jun 4, 2011)

You don't have to change your name if you don't want to but you will be able to go back to your maiden name if you choose too. You might have to put in some sort of request in the divorce papers. This is what I have heard, I'm not positive though. But I am certain you can go back to your maiden name.


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## onceagain (May 31, 2011)

It's up to the woman. There is a place in the decree where you state whether or not you intend to change your name (atleast in Texas). Most women I know with kids will keep their husband's name so they have the same name as their under aged children. But some women with grown or no kids would probably like to lose his name especially if it was a painful divorce. It's really a personal decision but if I was a man and I had a nasty divorce and did not want her to keep my name, I'd ask her to change it.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

You guys are great. thanks. once, Texas decree works for me. Thanks. Our kids are all grown and married. I don't know how I feel about that but I would venture to guess that she would choose to change it back to her maiden name. This is all so weird; I mean, what if I marry again and my new W wants to take on the name and my ex doesn't change hers - does that mean I have two Mrs.'s with my last name. LOL! Sorry, I had to ask.
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## onceagain (May 31, 2011)

I already told my husband that if we divorce I'm dropping his name. I will be taking my ex husband's name back because my son is young and I'd like to have his last name (easier dealing with schools, doctors, etc). I've already asked and my ex is fine with me taking his name back. My husband on the other hand seems sad that I would drop his name. He and I have no kids together and so I feel it would only be right to take back my kid's name. It's really hard for me to sign my name right now because I feel like his name is not my name anymore since we're separated and who knows if we'll make it thru this...make sense? I told him it's no big deal for him, cuz his last name is HIS name, when I sign my name right now it makes me sad...every time!!!


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

I can completely understand that. This is all so messy. It might be a little tough on me to think she will change it but I would understand the feeling whenever she would sign her name. I am thinking that would complicate things for her as well because she wants to buy a place for her to live before the D is final and that would require her to use her current name. What a pain in the a$$. Glad it's not me.
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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Many women getting out of long-term marriages elect to keep their married names. After many years it has become their "identity". And changing so many documents can be complicated--especially after all the anti-terrorist legislation. 

I've been married to my estranged husband for 25 years. The main reason I'm changing my name after the divorce is because of the scandals and gossip. I want a clean start after the divorce-- in essence I want to disassociate from his unusual last name.


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

I will likely keep my H's name, I have had it for longer than I had my maiden name. Plus, at work, it is on a lot of things, and it would be a total pain. If I ever do get married again, that would be yet another change. Who cares is he gets married and has another W someday with my name, that is his problem. Plus I like being the same as my kids. THe worst part is filling out forms and seeing the choice for M, S, D, S and realizing I need to check something different. So far, I have just said M, but that won't be true soon. And I listed my H as a contact person. I know he would still come if I have a problem and this job is just for the summer...


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

All my friends took their names back. I never changed mine! I want the name I was born with.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

I think I will change back to my maiden name. In my state, it is provided for in the divorce papers if a woman wants to do it.

I do have a teenage daughter, but she is cool with me taking back my maiden name.

I have no interest in keeping my husband's name. Changing it is another way of letting go of the relationship. Plus his last name is pretty dorky. My maiden name is much cooler.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Geez, this is going to be a PITA for her. Hope she makes the right choice whatever that is.
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## chaffy (Apr 11, 2011)

i honestly have not given this any thought..if we were to d i guess i would need to really think about it..we have no living children but at the same time what a pain in the butt it would be to have to change everything, i have had his name almost as long as my maiden name..


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I will have to change mine...again, he asked me to change it and accept his name, but I left my bills and stuff in my name, so I got two. It is a mess, but I will get it together as soon as everything is settled.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's a personal choice whether to change back to the maiden name or not. My ex SIL, changed back to her maiden name. I have another frriend who kept her married name after her divorce.

I never changed my last name when I married so I don't personally have experience w/ this. But I am happy I didn't in a way LOL. Because that's one less thing I had to worry over about what to do.


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

My lawyer said if you want to have that option put it in divorcee decree or you will have to pay later can cost some $$. I contemplated this I am going back to maiden name we have no kids and living with this name for no reason is a constant reminder of all this.

I am working with some people for research stuff and I dont w as nt this constantly in my face. He wants me to keep it and I think wtf really r u seriously ill.

I have to start over for me it sucks going through pprwrk but I am worth a clean start.
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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

d1221, sounds from reading all these posts that it is likely she will revert back to her maiden name; personally, it doesn't matter to me either way but I am not sure how my son's are going to take it. I always felt that she put me second to her family anyways so it would make sense that she does. She has had my last name for more than twice as long as she had her maiden name though so it probably won't be easy for her.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

In California there is a fill in the blanks form you can file along with your divorce papers if returning to your maiden name. (Scary huh?) 

I chose to keep my married last name (ex-husband’s) mostly due to my son's young age and most individuals assume you and the child have the same last name. I get called by “Mrs. (insert son’s last name) “ by people whom are not familiar with me but know me as my son’s mother. LOL!!! My son has a better social life than I do.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

It makes me so angry you have to have some court order to keep you goddamned birth name. This is my second marriage so I had to bring divorce papers with me when I got the new marriage license. The clerk asked me if I was GIVEN THE RIGHT to use my maiden name. Lady, I never changed it. The thought of going back to my first husband's name years after we were divorced still infuriates me.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

staircase said:


> It makes me so angry you have to have some court order to keep you goddamned birth name. This is my second marriage so I had to bring divorce papers with me when I got the new marriage license. The clerk asked me if I was GIVEN THE RIGHT to use my maiden name. Lady, I never changed it. The thought of going back to my first husband's name years after we were divorced still infuriates me.


I feel for you stair. I don't know what the W is going to do but I think she will opt to change it. And I also think that if she hasn't thought about it already, she is giomg to be hurt, sad and angry all over again when she sees that "fill in the blank" on the divorce decree. I hope she already knows where she is going with that and is prepared to unravel 36 years of being Mrs. <insert last name here>.


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