# How can everybody be wrong?



## crisis1008 (Mar 9, 2010)

How is it that you can recognize what someone has done to you long after it happens? How is it that even after you recognize such things, you still go back. Is it co-dependency? Is it the fear of what the future holds. Is it familiarity? Why the f**k did I agree to start seeing my H again? I felt obligated to do so, and he would not leave me alone. I begain seeing my H again six weeks ago.

He originally told me that my brother-in-law told him that I was having an affair. First of all, I wasn't having an affair. Even if I was seeing someone while legally married, I had left my husband and told him that I wanted a divorce. That left me free to do whatever I pleased. The only thing that would make it adultery is a piece of paper. I had taken my heart away from him and with good reason. Maybe I should have slept with someone else. Maybe I should now. I would probably help me move on, away from my H. Anyway, my H made me promise not to say anything to my BIL, as he did not want to cause problems in the family. After a couple of days had passed, and I had been through a series of questions by my H, I could not take it anymore. It was so hard to go through, and then to think that my own family would put me through it. I asked myself why, and needed to know what the hell was going on, so I confronted my BIL anyway. I was very careful about it. I let him know that I would not be upset at all, but told him that the truth was very important to me, as it would decide whether or not I would continue to see my H. My BIL told me that he never said anything like that, and said that my H is just playing head games with me. He said that he was just trying to trick me into giving up any information that might be relative to what thoughts are going through his head.

A few days ago, my H then told me that when last speaking to my sister he told her that he thinks that I might be seeing someone else, and that she responded by telling him that I was not a good liar. Now this was it. My sister and BIL know everything about me. I live with them. This means my sister told him I was having an affair too. I told my H that she could not have said such a thing, as it is a flat out lie. I began to believe that my BIL was right. My H told me that if I was telling the truth, then he believed that my sis and BIL were trying to sabotage our marriage, so that they would not lose my rent money when I moved back home with my H. Then I began to believe that. Afterall, they do not like what my husband has put me through, and are completely broke. But still... my own family? And why would they put me through so much misery with my husband. I am being interrogated by him again.

I could not take it anymore. I confronted my sister. She said that she did have a conversation with him, where he was insinuating that I had been with someone else. She said that she told him that I was not a good liar insinuating that if I had had an affair, and was lying that you would be able to see right though me. She said that he twisted what she said and that she believes he is twisting her words on purpose. She said that not only is he trying to trick me into believing that he knows that I had an affair so that I will spill the beans, but that he is also trying to alienate me from my family. She said that he is trying to make me not trust them so that I will move out of their house, leaving me with going back home to his as my only option. She then began to get very upset and cry. I asked her why she was crying and she said that it hurts her so much to see him brainwashing me. She said that he was an abusive man, who was luring me back to him. She said that his not having control over me for the last eight months has driven him mad, and that he is trying to regain control. She continued to beg me not to go back to him, but also said that she could not stop hurting because she knew that I was too weak to resist mind-games. She said that I had been conditioned by him.

That night, the night before last, I did not want to be near anybody. I left my sister's house and went out for drinks with my girlfriend . My husband began calling my phone around 11:00 p.m., so I shut off my phone. I was angry and confused. I finally went home at 4:00 a.m. 

The next morning, I called my H and told him that I had confronted my sis and BIL about what he had said. I told him that they vehemently deny telling him anything of the sort. He told me that I betrayed his trust, which hurt him terribly. He told me that he was telling the truth, and would take a lie detector test. He became upset and said that now my family is going to hate him for telling me, but I don't understand as my family has always disliked him. He begged me to just tell them that he admitted that he was lying, and that he lied to me so that I would not know that he was following me, and that he was very sorry, so they would not be mad at him. He then asked me where I was at 3:00 a.m. I told him that I went out for drinks and did not want to that I did not want to talk to anybody, so I turned off my phone. He told me that he knew that I had turned off my phone, because it began to go straight to voicemail after about the fifth call. He told me that he had driven by my house to check on me, because he was worried that something had happened to me after trying to call my cell, my house, my sister's cell, and my BIL's cell, getting no answer. But, how can this be? He said that he know that I had turned off my phone, which meant that he knew that I was not dead, and if I was dead, then someone certainly would have informed him. He said that he even called the local hospital. I do not believe this. I believe that he was going nuts when nobody answered his calls, and either decided that he was just going to go by the house to talk to me, or was simply spying. Why else would he drive by my house at 3:00 a.m.?

My sister said that he is unable to leave me alone so I may have some space to think, and that he is stalking me and has been the whole time that we have been separated.

I called my mom last night, and she told me that she knew about the cr*p that my husband was saying about my sis and BIL. She told me that I had better not believe that mess and that he was just trying to mind-f**k me. She begain yelling at me, asking me if I knew what it was like to see her daughter being abused like this. She said that she hurt because she could not help me. She said that if my step-father were my real dad that he would have killed him by now. She said that my step-father was shouting and throwing his hands all over the place. I then heard him scream in the background "How can everybody be wrong, Christina? This man is a creep!" That was the last part of the conversation that I heard, just before my phone died. And I have not been able to get those words out of my head ever since.

How can everybody be wrong? How do I get back to where I was? How do I get back to keeping him away from me. I want to move on, but something won't let me. I always feel like I have to answer his calls. I feel like I can't upset him. If he cries or begs I feel like I am a bad person. He is upset because I won't put my wedding rings back on yet. He is upset that I haven't moved back home yet. He is upset that I still need my space. I feel like I have given up so much in just the last six weeks, but cannot yet allow myself to give up everything. He says that I am not considering his feelings, but I feel like I consider his feelings too much. Should I even be considering his feelings at all in this situation. Shouldn't I be focusing on what I want? I shouldn't go against what makes me comfortable, just to make him happy, should I?

Part of me wishes the divorce had gone through as planned. I am scared of the divorce, but feel like it would probably be best for me.

What is wrong with me?


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