# Anxiety, efforts for the lady



## Teman (Mar 23, 2021)

I apologize for the length here.

My indonesian wife of 3 years here in indo (and im canadian) is growing unsatisfied and disturbingly unrealistic about finances.

I have provided for her since day one, making sure she lacks nothing ever. She has been loyal and a good person, to me rare qualities in this world.

Our 2 y/o daughter is healthy. Covid times hit everyone however turns out i sold a house and begun a new career. The gains will give me time to work out profitability in my new field, with patience, it takes time. We're far from rich. But we have security, opposed to neighbors who lost jobs and have families.

I was hit with severe home expenses last while. Her attitude became strange before and during from frustrations I am willing to address but her attitude is tough. Seems like she doesnt understand. She then wants a new motorbike. I challenge the idea (the thing still works perfect however old) with an open mind, just checking on the idea first. She gets angry. 

Give and take, I calculate that we can replace the motorbike, but I heavily dislike her attitude about it. Now she makes me feel bad we dont have a car yet. Because "her friends have it" she has the guts to tell me I seem to not care about our girl being rained on when on the road. Which never occurs. I would also kill to protect both of them so it is absurd.

A car is a big expense. Requires thought and planning. And mutual respect. Not a rotten attitude. I love having a car, ive owned many, so its obvious we will have one. But she suddenly acts like we're doomed because its not there yet.

What her instagram friends have I could not possibly give 2 sh*ts about. Its our well being and own thing that matters. She has grown increasingly influenced by what others have which is a no-no for me.

Then the crypto world has messed up her mind. I gave her a bit of capital to dabble. But its not enough. Every time it goes up and she cant take advantage, its obviously my fault and the atmosphere is ruined yet again for god knows how long. How dissapointing for someone so determined, passionate and positive minded as i am.

She has gone through tiring times with our new child. I spend some time away for work but she has her mother to help. I understand and listen to her needs. She cares less and less. She accuses me about absurd things like "you should be more sensible about my needs etc" which hurts my feelings as all ive done seems irrelevant, meaningless. I mean to cover all her needs literally. I myself am happy in life and ready to give my all.

She has a salary from me, and I always cover unpredicted expenses. I support her ambitions. Super loving and caring. Im too nice. She treats me unfairly. I understand her desires and that she has some unsatisfactions, I tell her nothing stops her from having whatever, but requires patience and mutual support and respect. A chore to her.

I am not perfect but I work hard at covering everything. Im worried and sick with anxiety because we have a daughter i love so much. My wife has been a good mother and good person, loyal and all, but lately this attitude makes me sick. I understand also she wants to provide too and her ego is hurt. Ego has no place here tho, I support her in all aspects.

I will continue doing my best and let her see for herself. Just trying to work out the heavy anxiety. I will not fall for her negativity. I stand my ground and try reason myself and her too in due time. 
Just deeply affected that I must worry about the future while we actually have it good.


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