# I don't know what to do...



## undaalba (Sep 12, 2013)

Ok, so here is my story:

Several months ago, my husband came home from a vacation and bombarded me as soon as i walked in the door after work complaining that i was a terrible wife. He gave me this list of things he wanted me to change so that he could be happy. I tried really hard to make him happy, but he just kept pulling away.

So, then a few weeks later we are sitting on opposite sides of the room watching TV. I am playing on our iPad, and notice that he is FB messaging a girl from work. I had met her before and knew they were friends, but I was still a little concerned (especially since he had said anything to me for hours.) I looked at him and he actually looked happy chatting with her.

About a week later, my cat became very sick and we began to debate if we should put her down. While we are in the middle of this conversation, me crying my eyes out, she calls because her ex left a TV on her bed and she didn't know where to sleep. I got so upset he even took the call, but he became defensive. 

Later I learned how much stuff he was hiding from me. I still wasn't suspicious, until I found his secret email account and some text messages he had saved. I also found emails he has sent to women he met off a Craigslist and for an online dating site. I confronted him about it, and he promised nothing was going on and he would stop.

I later found out he didn't stop. He would go to lunch with her 2-3 days a week and had written her a note about how much he was in love with her. Plus, during a short trip he tried to pick up more women on Craigslist. I almost kicked him out of the house. But, instead I agreed to work on our marriage and he promised that all communication with the other women would stop.

So here is my dilemma- I don't believe him anymore. I still love him, but i feel like everything he says is a lie. And he doesn't understand why i don't trust him. I just don't know what to do.


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## BlindsidedGirl (Sep 10, 2013)

Go immediately to get STD testing!!! Insist that he do the same if you even think you might stay with him. 
But I agree with Mavash. He is a liar and you cannot trust anything that comes out of his mouth!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He is a serial cheater and liar.

What are you doing to make sure he is not in contact with the woman at work? Has he written her a no contact letter?


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Yeah, if he isn't made to be responsible for his actions, he'll just find new ways to accomplish what he wants that won't get him caught. Either way, you won't feel like you can trust him until he WANTS to be loyal to you, and he doesn't feel that way right now.

I'd say you need to find a way to force the issue a little more. Marriage Counseling would be a good place to start.


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