# MY Kids of Wife?



## Wissam (Nov 16, 2013)

I have reached to a point that I don't know what to do, 8 years ago my wife passed away as she was diagnosed with cancer.
I was left with 3 boys to take care of 7, 9 and 13, it was a terrible disaster for me and them and I was in a shocking situation and was lost but I had to manage and stand up on my feet to make sure i take care of them good, unfortunately I can't be with them as I work in another country so i had to leave them with there grandmother to take care of them and I visited them every 2 months, thanks to God I was able to give them all the love and attention and I still do till today and a strong trust and connection has been established between my boys and I.

4 years ago I got married to a woman who seems to be a perfect woman loving and caring she is a widow too with 2 kids, a boy 14 now and a girl 11 now.

Time passed by and my kids was alright with her and things moving fine utile 2 years back when some problems started between her and my second kid specially, her son and my son who are in same age started having difficulties between them, it seemed to me that her son was getting jealousy and at same time he is too mummy boy and he wanted everything for him and at same time his grandmother is too much into him as if she is the mother and she gets too much into his life and way to growing him up, he even prefer going on weekends or holidays to stay at his grandmothers house which I was against always but never stopped him.

a year ago her son moved totally to his grandmothers house as he clams he can't study or leave as he like or have privacy etc in our house and his mother agreed in time I was against it, why should he move or why should we accept?? he is just like all the others why do they not complain ??

Anyway since then and my second kid and wife began to face too much problems and she in a way or another treat him bad and. I tried to always make good between them and solve problems and make sure i clear the wrong things between them but it keep getting more and more and it reach to a point that both don't even talk to each other except when they need something critical.

2 months ago things got very bad and my kid wanted to leave home and go to his grandmother as he can't leave anymore at home and his younger brother too who don't complain much wanted the same and both saying that she treat them bad and she don't leas teen to them she just keep shouting at them, they don't feel love from her and they even claim she treat her kids in another way and she ignore them and ignore there needs which I believe in some way.
Now she lives alone with her daughter and my 2 kids are with my grandmother and my elder son who is in University since 3 years if far anyway but he claims thats he is a good woman but she don't have love inside her for them.

I am lost i am about to let go , I don't know what should I do, i love her yes but my kids are my life too and there passed away mother was a love of my life which I see everyday in them. I can't just ignore them and live with her as if nothing is happing. I need HELP.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

If I understand your post, you left 3 boys with their grandmother shortly after their mother passed away so you could go out of the country to work. You visited every 2 months though. 

Since then you've remarried. 

Now your children are having troubles with wife 2.0 and her kids. The ones you've actually spent time with.

You also think the grandmother, that you left the children with, is too involved?

And you're unsure who to choose? Your children or wife 2.0?

You're either a troll or completely clueless.


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## Wissam (Nov 16, 2013)

No not there Grandmother, its my 2nd wife kids grandmother who is too much involved in the house not the one i left the kids 1st with, which is my mother and she have nothing to do with this she's just fine and love them.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

You've got a whole bunch of issues going on here. I'd suggest family counseling. Sounds like it's going to be a lot of work.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You aren't living with your wife now?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

your second wife sound imature and you dropped the ball on your own kids by not being there for them.

no wonder you kids don't care to live with you and your new family they are resentfull that you left them in their time of need. 

its a sad sad story.


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## bevixnz (Nov 22, 2013)

Always difficult blending families, especially for the kids.

You say your kids received all the love and attention while you were overseas. I seriously doubt they feel that way after their mother died and their father disappeared overseas.

Best of luck, I hope you find a way to pull this all together!


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

You married a woman who subsequently moved in with with your children who you don't live with and whom you only see once every 2 months because you live in another country?

That's weird.


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## onedge (Nov 27, 2013)

In my own opinion of what I understand:

1. Your kids were originally used to their own mother and her way of being a parent.
2. They go to their grandmother's and have to get used to her ways.
3. You got remarried and now they have to get used to her way.
4. The two boys don't get along which is not unusual in 2 families blending.
5. Your second wife is caught in the middle of the two in a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. 
6. Sounds like everything was put onto the second wife to make everything blend because all I hear is it is her and her kids fault and her mother's fault. Sounds a bit narcissistic.
7. Sort of sound like your second kid didn't get along with her and your second kid didn't get along with her son. Sounds like your second kid is the common denominator here to your complaint.
8. It sounds like you took a backseat and now you are alone.
9. You say your first wife was the love of your life. So basically you used your second wife as a babysitter and housekeeper and whatever else.


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