# I need to let it out, i cant take it anymore



## ETC1 (Jan 20, 2011)

I just joined because i need to talk to someone, let it all out, i cant hold it in anymore....and i have no one to talk to. I have been married for going on 5 yrs weve been together for 10yrs, we have a 10yr old son a 1yr old son and i am 5mnths pregnant with our Daughter. I cant say everything from the beginning or my post will be longer than you will desire to read. But after my 10yr old son was born until now has been alot of fighting, screaming, crying, he has cheated on me and or tried to cheat on me about every 6-8 months at least. Im tired, im so tired of arguing about the same stuff, im so tired of him not caring weather i'm pregnant or not weather my feelings are hurt or not, weather his actions are hurtful or not. And the funny thing is that no matter what he does everything is always my fault. You would think i would be the one yelling and argumentative, i actually try to avoid this with every bone in my body, and even that will be taken and turned into something. A month after we were married i found that he was cheating, i left him for 6 months and then after going to marriage counseling i decided to go back and work it out. Because i do love him, but only to find that he continued to see her. He has kept contact with her all the way up until last sept. Thats that i know of, because he has so many different emails and deletes his texts and keeps his phone off when he home. We decided to move have way across the country to start a new life together last october, about a week later i found out i was pregnant, and about 3weeks later i found out he was exchanging numbers with women at the grocery store!! Well now i also have gone to use the computer several dozen times and he has left up a local escorts web site. One would only take that as he wants to find some type of date, or prostitute. And the fighting and arguing, i just keep thinking its been 10yrs, of the same mess how much longer will have to endure this? Should i continue to endure this? I'm tired i wish i could just enjoy the fact that i'm pregnant and having a girl finally and be happy!!! I don't think i can handle the stress of a divorce right now. And i'm alone i cant talk to anyone, i guess i'm just ashamed, embarrassed i don't know. I will say that the only reason i have stayed so long is because i believe in marriage, i also have seen a side of him that i would want to be with, he is good a Daddy, and he loves God. And i believe God can change anyone. We have tried counseling and he lied threw it the hole time, and now he doesn't want to go to counseling. I am considering just getting divorced because of the repetition of everything.... I need advice what should i do??

I will add that i think he is some kind of a sex addict, i used to think if i gave him more sex it would change things and it never has,...sometimes i think he just wants to argue with me so he can make himself feel better about the things that he is doing... i should also ask is this my fault?? Is there anything that i can do to change this? If i ignore his temper, and cheating will it go away? When i have addressed it it has made it worst, and he blows up and leaves, and i dont want my kids to see/hear Mommy and Daddy yelling all the time.


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## jmfabulous (Jan 19, 2011)

Hi...you seem like a wonderful person, going through a horrible situation.

You mentioned that you guys have tried couples counseling, have you thought about going to counseling on your own, try to figure out what you want/need?

I'm not an expert, but the confusion and yelling and blaming seems to fall in the same pattern as a lot of men who are emotionally abusive. Additionally, I question his sexual addiction. Men who are about power and control often use porn or prostitutes so they can "be in control"...just a thought.

Best of Luck.


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## ETC1 (Jan 20, 2011)

JM
I never thought of going to counseling by myself,,thats probably a really good idea, i will look into that. 

Thank you, i appreciate your insight


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## troy (Jan 30, 2011)

Some men are prone to variety. This is okay if you are single, but UNacceptable when married. So his behaviour with other women is plain wrong and should not be tolerated. 

Its difficult with little kids plus one on the way. Take care of yourself and the baby. Once you are back on your feet, it may be time to consider leaving if things does not get better.

Professional support is a good idea for yourself. Check through this site for information on finding a counselor. Not all counselors are good.


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