# Need Some Mansight-Hot? or Weird?



## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

I debated whether to post this in the Sexual Issues forum, but that seems to be mostly for disfunction/problem type questions and this isn't really a problem, just something I'm uncertain about and could use some male perspective.

After a lengthy disconnected period in our 20+ year marriage my husband did something stupid and hurtful. We're working through it and as a result reconnecting and having LOTS more sex. I've found though that I don't know what really turns him on/gets him off. I've asked, but because he feels like he let me down it's all about what I want and need right now and he won't really tell me. 

So I have a plan to both take control/initiate sex and find out some of what he likes, but my little bit insecure wife voice keeps whispering in my head that it's too weird/bad porn/too much could go wrong and I should bag the idea. I plan to handcuff him to a chair, blindfold him, and then try lots and lots of different things. Hot/cold, soft(fur)/hard(beads), all over massage, toys, whatever he seems to respond to. 

Good idea, bad idea, too much chance for failure, too awkward? Input/suggestions please.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

...or you can handcuff and blindfold him and tell you aren't releasing him until he tells you what excites him....


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I love your idea! But I suggest handcuffing or using his ties to secure him to the bedposts or headboard. In my mind you will be able to maneuver things so much better that way.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Handcuff, or tie him down, to the bed. Blindfold him. Massage him slowly with your hands, then use a feather (don't tickle him). Kiss areas of his body while you do this. Start to press parts of your body against his and you move up and down his body. Sit on him, hip to hip so to speak. Bend down and french kiss him for a long time. Rub your breast up and down his face. Go from there and see what he responds to.


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## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

I'mAllIn said:


> I debated whether to post this in the Sexual Issues forum, but that seems to be mostly for disfunction/problem type questions and this isn't really a problem, just something I'm uncertain about and could use some male perspective.
> 
> After a lengthy disconnected period in our 20+ year marriage my husband did something stupid and hurtful. We're working through it and as a result reconnecting and having LOTS more sex. I've found though that I don't know what really turns him on/gets him off. I've asked, but because he feels like he let me down it's all about what I want and need right now and he won't really tell me.
> 
> ...


Great idea. It will be a failure only if your husband is an idiot. It's a dream come true for most guys.

Couple of ideas, though. You have a lot of stuff you can try. Spread it out over several nights. Carry over the favorite from the prior night to "compete" with new experiments the next night. Kind of like a "Battle of the Bands" type of format. For him, the anticipation from knowing you're going to handcuff him the next night for more "experiments" could be exquisite.

At the end of each handcuff session, he will want to do it. Before you release him, make him share a fantasy or desire that you can incorporate into your next session (or right then, if it works.)

If he still won't share fantasies, build it into a role play during the next session. He's a "bad boy" for not sharing his secrets. As punishment, you're going to do exactly what you want to him. You're there to fulfill his fantasy, but until he fesses up you'll just focus on fulfilling your own fantasies of what you want to do with him. 

He's a lucky, lucky man.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Have a safe word, or good friends on the police force.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

RClawson said:


> I love your idea! But I suggest handcuffing or using his ties to secure him to the bedposts or headboard. In my mind you will be able to maneuver things so much better that way.


I would prefer to use the headboard, but ours is completely solid, no place to attach handcuffs or any other kind of restraints. One of the things he has been open about is his fondness for sex all over the house instead of just in the bedroom so one night I pushed him down on a kitchen chair and had my way with him and he was all into that. That's why I thought the chair might work. Doesn't really give me full access though.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Runs like Dog said:


> Have a safe word, or good friends on the police force.


LOL


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> ...or you can handcuff and blindfold him and tell you aren't releasing him until he tells you what excites him....


:lol: :rofl: :iagree: :lol: :rofl: :iagree:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Terrible idea


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Sorry - got interrupted - where was I...

Terrible idea...to not have tried this sooner!

I like the idea of "demanding" he tell you what excites him - and also the idea of not doing TOO MUCH in one night.

A "feather" might be great - but if you've already use ice, a whip, and some hot wax, it may not get the same reaction that it would if done by itself.

Good luck - have fun!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Keep reading!!!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

nice777guy said:


> Sorry - got interrupted - where was I...
> 
> Terrible idea...to not have tried this sooner!
> 
> ...


Sorry - trying to be clever.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Sorry - trying to be clever.


It was quite clever! Unexpected from a Steeler fan. 

I definitely don't want to overdo it, so maybe spread out over a couple of nights this weekend would be good, or tell him I'll stop only if he tells me one fantasy he has that would truly shock me, then save anything I haven't tried for another night. I just want to do something a tiny bit shocking and a little out of character to put him a little off balance, but in a good way.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Honey, the wilder the better, your woman voice is just that, your insecurities rising up- slap them down. The overwhelming majority of guys would be screaming YES!!! If anything he will be asking why oh why didn't you do it sooner! Every man needs to be handcuffed to the bed ....and teased! 

Nice article here , talks about planning -hand cuffs, etc .

"Ask Dr. Tracy" Love Library 

.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

MAEPT10 said:


> I'MALLIN, could you please talk to my W? I would love for her to ask me what turns me on or to try different things to turn me on. I think its awesome that you care so much and like to please your man. My question for you is, how do I get my W to express to me what turns her on?


Without knowing your wife I can't say for sure. I sometimes have a hard time telling my H what does it for me because I don't want him to think that I don't enjoy what we already do. If we've had a really nice dinner and flirty conversation and I can see that he's relaxed and looking forward to a night of fun I might throw in a "I'm a little curious about ______, maybe we should try that tonight?" So if your wife is more shy/romantic you might take her out for dinner & drinks, flirt with her and then on the drive home when she doesn't have to look you in the eye when she answers just ask her.

Will she watch porn or even soft porn with you? I like that not for the actual porn, but because it's such a casual way to pick something that I know has in it what I'm curious to try, and then I can just casually whisper in his ear that it looks like fun and we should try it and I don't feel awkward or embarressed at all.


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## JustWaiting (Jun 28, 2011)

First, brief background. My WW has has a problem with PA And serial EAs. Im not deaf or blind. She's a flirting addict who describes herself as a work in progress and is more than happy to apologize repeatedly. She won't volunteer info, but admits when confronted. So much for the short version of background. Her latest gesture was to ask me to shave her. That was the most erotic thing I have ever done. If your husband enjoys it, he will not be able to hide his enthusiasm. And you can have him repeat on an as-needed basis.. Have him sit in the tub. You sit up on the tub. It takes some trust. It is unbelievable
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustWaiting (Jun 28, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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