# Ok..I have made up my mind and asked for seperation..he refused to leave now what??



## dawn74 (May 25, 2010)

I had aske for your advise yesterday and really thought about it and asked for a seperation. I have told him how I feel that I am not in love with him anymore..He just says I am confused about how I feel. I asked him did he want me to leave or him to leave as our lease is up in a month...his response..nobody is going anywhere..just stop. I asked him to go ahead and seperate our cell phone bill..he again..says why r you doing this?? just stop..

I can't get it through his head that I truly need to be away from him..

What the heck do I do?? I just told him that believe it or not I will be out my the end of the month.

He still isn't getting it!!


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## BuddyL33 (Jul 16, 2009)

It's sad to see two people give up on each other like this. I think when people get married they forget that they are each marrying an imperfect person. That they each don't take seriously the vows they make to God and more importantly, to themselves. Love is supposed to be unconditional, so how does one fall out of unconditional love. The only solution I can come up with is that the love was never unconditional in the first place.

With that said I imagine your husband will get the point when he comes home and you are gone. I know I did when I came home one day and my first wife was simply gone.


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## dawn74 (May 25, 2010)

I don't know if you read my first post..but my husband walked out on me, he puts me down constantly, and things have been so bad that I have been suffering with anxiety attacks. It is sad to see that I was pulled into a marriage that was supposed to backed my Gods vows, but part of those vows are also in sickness and in health..not to be the person who causes the sickness. I don't want it to end in that way..I care about him, but I think the damage has been done and it has been horrible.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I think the issue is that you are making this decision today, now. From what you've said, little to nothing has been done on either of your parts to change what was wrong.

If you have to leave him, at least make a real effort at fixing your issues before doing so. If you and he went to 3 months of marriage counseling and you still feel the same way, go ahead and leave. Don't uproot the kids just because you've just decided you're done trying...without really trying.

And I'm saying that as the wife of a VERY negative man. There had to be some reason you married him; and keep in mind he is likely just as aggravated as you are, because of what HE is getting out of the marriage.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

You are doing the right thing. I don't happen to believe a man should have to be counseled into NOT treating his wife so badly. And even if he did get counseling, you should not remain there and be abused while he is counseled not to abuse you. Go your separate way, and let him do whatever he is going to do. This is not something that marriage counseling can help. A man like him does not even deserved a wife. 

For the duration, do not have sex with him no matter how much he begs. I know you do not want him, but you also can't let him pressure you into giving in. You need to send a clear message that you mean what you said. He will get it eventually, even if it takes watching you walk out the door. He will get the message but don't send mixed signals.

Just curious. Was there none of this behavior from him before the marriage?


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