# Renewed faith in the legal system



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

So I am new here. I've been divorced from exw since 2004 (I am since remarried). I had three kids with my ex. In 2008, she wanted to move to another state and take my two sons with her (my daughter had already been living with me and my now wife). We agreed to no more child support and she will support my two boys from here on in. We signed an agreement which I typed up quickly. She moved, married her AP (which was my stepbrother I have known since for 30 years- my mother's husbands son). 

Anyway, I hear nothing from her until 2016. I no longer have been paying CS due to our agreement. I get a letter from her lawyer demanding $240,000 in back CS. I hired a lawyer and filed right away in Supreme Court for breach of contract and to uphold the contact we both signed that I never filed with the court. This was our strategy for keeping it out of Family Court. 

Three years later, after decisions and appeals, 40k in legal fees, I received the decision yesterday. In a five page decision she was awarded nothing- no CS, no lawyer fees, nothing. All three of my kids are now emancipated. Not surprising, my only child to make anything of themselves is my daughter who lived with me. She is active in the Army National Guard and is going to college to become a nurse. My two boys who went to live with the ex and my stepbrother never went to college. Once is working at Dominos and the other is a bus boy at a diner. It is such a shame.

The 40k certainly hurt, but it is satisfying knowing she got none of it. I finally got justice after all of these years. As for my ex, she is 48, unemployed and living off of disability and any other handout she can get. Thankfully, that handout didn't come from me!


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I should also add that the reason my daughter came to live with me was because when she was six, two years after our divorce, she told a teacher that she was "touched" by my stepbrother, my wife's AP she was living with. He was arrested. They state was never able to prove anything, other than what a six year old had to say. No matter to my ex, she signed my daughter over to me and went ahead a married the guy anyway. There is a special place in hell for this woman.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I have encountered individuals that make a career out of taking their ex-spouses back to court. One particular case, she had been continuously increasing CS, kept presenting bills to the court that she said her ex was responsible for. Turned out those bills had been altered. We pointed out, in court, finally that those bills had been altered to remove the notations that she had received subsidy for those expenses. She was double dipping. So, she had a rather unfortunate comeuppance that next time she wanted a variance. This time all of the bills previously in evidence, were brought back in, in their original form. The judge was completely unimpressed. He basically gave back a lot of the variances she had requested over three court dates. She got stuck with a significant amount to repay her ex, and this time if she did not comply, there was jail time awaiting her. Last time she ever tried that again. Her children were informed of their mother's escapades when they became age of majority, to say the least, their relationship is now strained.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Had the CS modification been filed and notarized in the original family court of jurisdiction, you likely wouldn't have been out the 40k!

In any event, your XW has simply shown that she cannot be trusted! Under any circumstances!*


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

arbitrator said:


> *Had the CS modification been filed and notarized in the original family court of jurisdiction, you likely wouldn't have been out the 40k!
> 
> In any event, your XW has simply shown that she cannot be trusted! Under any circumstances!*


Yes, my mistake. A very costly one at that. It was great that the court upheld the agreement. The “note on the cocktail napkin” that my ex’s attorney referred to it as.


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## MILProblems (Sep 11, 2019)

Wow... Glad it worked out in the end for you and that your daughter got out of the unsafe situation!


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

MILProblems said:


> Wow... Glad it worked out in the end for you and that your daughter got out of the unsafe situation!


Good for you MIL: You are starting to heal and soon to move forward. This is very good you see there is a light at the end of the tunnel.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

My ex did the same thing, asked for more child support 10 years after we broke up. We agreed on a child support when we broke up, I paid dutifully every month, never late. Since the ex was in a different state, she was on speaker phone while I was in the courtroom. The judge actually laughed at her, well smirked. It was one of my better moments for sure. Guess she ran out of money and was desperate. Lesson learned: don't get your self in a position of desperation. Fix it before it gets there.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

RebuildingMe said:


> I should also add that the reason my daughter came to live with me was because when she was six, two years after our divorce, she told a teacher that she was "touched" by my stepbrother, my wife's AP she was living with. He was arrested. They state was never able to prove anything, other than what a six year old had to say. No matter to my ex, she signed my daughter over to me and went ahead a married the guy anyway. There is a special place in hell for this woman.


Sorry but I am having major difficulty with the fact that you knew what your ex wife was like but your left your own flesh and blood (2 sons) with her and had no contact with them, what type of man does that? You complain about how they made nothing of themselves, sorry sir but that is on you too not just your wife, you also brought them into this world and had a responsibility to give them the best life possible. So instead of congratulating yourself on saving your money you should be mourning your failure as a good man and father.
This is having major triggers for me personally cause my father dumped me and my brother and moved on just like you. Sorry I have no sympathy for you at all, you sound like a more sophisticated version of your wife. Even your name suggests its still all about you. A good father would have climbed mountains to ensure ALL of his kids were ok and had a future.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

aine said:


> RebuildingMe said:
> 
> 
> > I should also add that the reason my daughter came to live with me was because when she was six, two years after our divorce, she told a teacher that she was "touched" by my stepbrother, my wife's AP she was living with. He was arrested. They state was never able to prove anything, other than what a six year old had to say. No matter to my ex, she signed my daughter over to me and went ahead a married the guy anyway. There is a special place in hell for this woman.
> ...


First off, I’m sorry my story trigged you. I also came from a broken home and was living on my own at 16. Living on friends couches. Both of my parents were not good people and both had died by the time I was 30. Guess what? I still made something of myself. Went to college and got a good career. I wasn’t a failure and didn’t throw my hands up in the air and quit because of my situation. 

I am remarried (unhappily) with 8 year old twins. They are my world. I continue to support my older daughter who has no relationship with her brothers because they never believed she was sexually abused when she was 6. There was no way I was going to get my two sons...ever. There is so much more to the story. You may think I’m a crappy dad and you have your opinion. However, I disagree. You can save those that don’t want to be saved. 

I am rebuilding me. I’m no longer the doormat I’ve been most times of my life. Sorry that you have a problem with my name as well. I hope life brings you peace.


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