# Can the 180 work for me ... 33 weeks pregnant!



## hurtandalone2013 (Oct 9, 2013)

I am 33 weeks pregnant and found out my husband has been cheating the entire pregnancy. He only stopped as I found out – first time he swore he would stop and we went to councelling and I thought we were on track, then I found out it was still happening and that they had said I love you. It has not been physical (yet) but there have been sexually explicit texts which I find just as bad to be honest.
Since I found out he has now said he has been unhappy for a long time. I hate that he is using it as an excuse and feel really hard done by as he never told me how unhappy he was. He is now trying to make the decision if he wants to try and make us work. Its so hard to sit back and just wait to be chosen (thats what it feels like to me anyway) when in reality I am the one who has been hurt beyond what I ever thought I could be. I have a 3yr old and am due in 7 weeks – and am now on my own. I never ever thought he could do this to me.

I am willing to work on our marriage but I am not sure that he is.

Do you think the 180 will work on us? Its so hard to be happy and upbeat all the time as I feel so abandoned, vulnerable and alone. But I dont want to be the victim - I want to be strong and prove I can do it on my own just in reality I am not really sure that I can 

Thanks - any advice appreciated


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is the OW (other woman) married?

Yes the 180 will help you. It does not mean that you have to be cheerful (happy), you just need to find a way to not show anger when around him. This is for you so that you maintain emotional distance and protect yourself as much as possible.

Do not beg him. Do not discuss his affair. The only thing about the affair is that you will not discuss anything until he sends her a no contact letter, with you there. And then he never has any contact with her again.

Is he still living at home with you?

Make sure that you get an STD test. Do not have sex with him again as long as he is involved in an affair. 

He has to know that you are serious that you will divorce him over this. Right now he thinks that he is calling the shots. Sometimes, to save your marriage you have to be willing to lose it.

Since there has already been a false recovery, you might do best by seeing an attorney and start to get things together for a divorce. Don't tell him that you are doing this. If you file, just have him served. Remember that a divorce can be stopped all the way up to the time that the judge signs the paperwork.


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## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

@OP, pregnancy is hard enough without this added drama. Ele has some good advice, but also make sure you have arrangements with friends or family to take care of your daughter when you have to go in for delivery. Do you have someone that could stay with you for a few weeks closer to your due date? 

Anger may also be your best friend in the short term. How _dare_ he do this to his unborn child? Harness what you need to plow through the birth.

You have a rough couple months ahead of you, but you also have two small kids that you can shower love on and get it back in spades.


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