# My husband doesn't reached out to me



## bambmakycn (Sep 2, 2011)

I have been married for 12 yrs until now my husband have never reached out to me when we have an argument. I we had have periods of stop having sexual relationships talking to each other in occasions up to a month. He never reached out to me. he just plain ignores. I have been always the one who have to start talking to him and being loving, After I reached out and get the relationship going I end up feeling even more worthless and hurt. He has never give me an apology for any arguments that we had. I feel that relationship is totally up to me. He doesn't care at all if I leave or stay with him. I have left home before and have to come back on my own because I needed the economical support for my children. he accepts me any time i am back, but like i said he has no self-initiative towards this relationship is a total puzzle to me. If I reconcile with him and show him affection he will respond with affection, if not we just go on with our routine as if nothing have happened any advice pls help ! thanks


----------



## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

The only think I can think of is to try marriage counseling. It can only help.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I find it funny (not your pain or hurt, just my new perspective) that someone should apologize for arguing. My stbxw and I never argued about anything, and now I realize I am so sorry for NOT arguing with her.

There could be lots of reasons for him to be acting the way he is, he could still be processing everything, he could be feeling ashamed, he could be feeling that you are crazy, he could be... those moments of silence and introspection are not the time to be taking stock of the relationship. You say he doesn't care if you leave or not, but I'd say he probably does, but I want to point out that it is your actions that are putting the whole marriage on the line, and if not he's already figured that out so he will just keep doing what he does next time an argument arises in order to keep it together.

Marriage counseling is always a good thing as long as you both go in knowing that a counselor is just there to facilitate the communication between the two of you, not to tell either of you what to do... many will simply provide you with a little confidence to go with the decision you want to make when you don't have the confidence for yourself. MC may help you find a language that you both can speak, and which is already being used in those moments of apparent silence, so that you may be able to find some comfort and strength in your relationship again.


----------

