# What to do?



## summergrl48 (Feb 19, 2014)

This is my second marriage and I really can't believe I am thinking about seperation/divorce. I was married previously for 23 1/2 years. My ex husband was manipulative, and has a lot of characteristics of a sociopath. I met him when I was 17. We were married by the time I was 19. Had kids right away. When things went to hell, the kids were grown and moving out on their own. The absolute worst thing was that he was a pastor, and that he was unfaithful. He ended up hurting alot of people...anyway, fast forward a couple years. I met my now husband..we had a couple of dates and I moved in with him. I wasn't there for too long and I couldn't deal with him anymore he was constantly negative, always a victim,etc..so I left. Actually, I did that twice. So, then I started to ask myself what I was afraid of, and maybe I should just try and let things be.

So, he said that it was time to "**** or get off the pot". I got to thinking that I could be alone and miserable for the rest of my life. We have been married not quite a year now and I think maybe being alone is not so bad after all. He is so different than me..we live out in BFE and I feel so isolated. I really do not have any friends that I can just go visit or do things with. He is still VERY negative and constantly sees himself as the victim of life. I spend most days very depressed and wishing I had really thought about the decision that I made. I really feel stuck.. This is really just a tip of the iceberg so to speak, because it could drag on forever and ever!!!!! To anyone who can relate, I would sure appreciate anything you have to offer! Thank you!


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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

It sounds like you are a person who always needs to have a guy around. I know some women like that, they go from guy to guy even if they know they aren't a good match simply because they don't like to be alone. 

You're scared after 23 years of commitment, who wouldn't be? Yes, you rushed it, but if you already can feel that your current husband isn't for you, then don't prolong the agony. Get out and don't waste your time.


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## summergrl48 (Feb 19, 2014)

Actually, no I don't always have to have a guy around..in fact, I was in my own apartment for a bit. Sure it was lonely but I was proud of myself for having a job and getting my own place. Now, I have been in school for three semesters.

It could be partly commitment...but I think a lot of it is that I believe a partner should bring out the best in you and that you should want to be a better person for them. I don't really have that. 

I also failed to mention that he brings it up quite frequently that I really need to be working a full time job and going to school is not helping us financially. He supported an ex while she went to school, stashed money, and finally left him..


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