# Almost at the end ... plz help



## OhDear (Jun 12, 2011)

Hi Everyone, I'm a newbie and in serious trouble.

My husband and I have been married 2.5 years and have some cultural issues in our marriage but we can cope with those.

My problem as the moment is we are caught in a vicious circle and don't know how to get out of it.

HIS VIEW: I have quite a lot of mood swings and am very insecure in our relationship, I am jealous and lacking in self confidence now. I drive him nuts with constantly picking fights. He just wants a peaceful quiet life and the more demanding and problematic I am the less he wants to be around me.

MY VIEW. I accept I have mood swings and these do not help anyone. However he has an underdeveloped ego and likes a LOT of admiration. So from our first days of marriage he has chatted to girls online (I counted over 800 female contacts in his yahoo account) ... this brings on my jealousy and a fight erupts. He says he is doing nothing wrong, just chatting so I ask why he doesn't "just chat" in front of me ... no answer. This led about a year ago to finding pictures of him having internet s*x with 2 women that I know of and 3 weeks ago I caught him in a 6 week affair. My view is his behaviour is causing my mood swings and making me pick fights but he won't accept it.

I was given 3 days to be upset about the affair and then he never wanted it mentioned again (he was genuinely guilty and sorry for the affair but said my moodiness drove him to it).

Is there any way we can get out of this cycle? Neither of us want to get divorced but we agree we cannot go on like this.

Can anyone help please?


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I would be moody, insecure, jealous etc too. he is making you that way.

The only thing that made him behave that way is himself.

He obviously isn't mature enough to be married and has no empathy for you, nor awareness of the pain and heartache he causes you, or else he doesn't care.

I would have left him long before the affair. he is extremely selfish.

As for telling you you have three days to get over the affair pffft. He if he really loved you would do anything he could to make it right and prove it to you. 

I'm not sure why you want to stay with a man who would continually hurt you.


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