# Screwed up Valentines Day....



## cavenger

How do I make up for it? She is so mad.


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## Mavash.

Depends. What did you do?


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## cavenger

Was too last minute with it and not thoughtful enough. Unromantic.


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## cavenger

Jewelry? I guess diamonds are the big screw up jewelry.


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## Sweetmaya

cavenger said:


> Jewelry? I guess diamonds are the big screw up jewelry.


It worked for Kobe B..... :rofl:


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## SimplyAmorous

Just be blatantly honest with her and Humble thyself.... apologize for missing it....a little box of jewelry is a great too... but don't forgo the "missing it" .... I don't feel any material gift could replace what may *feel like* an "uncaring" / not important enough to remember







....if that makes sense.

These might be a nice touch to break the air >> ought to get a


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## Mavash.

cavenger said:


> Jewelry? I guess diamonds are the big screw up jewelry.


Wouldn't work for me. I'm like SA I want a humbleness and some token (not diamonds) that you are truly sorry. A "omg I am soooooo sorry. I was such an ******* and I don't deserve you. What can I do to make it up to you?" kinda thing.


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## cavenger

*Re: Re: Screwed up Valentines Day....*



Mavash. said:


> Wouldn't work for me. I'm like SA I want a humbleness and some token (not diamonds) that you are truly sorry. A "omg I am soooooo sorry. I was such an ******* and I don't deserve you. What can I do to make it up to you?" kinda thing.


I already fell on my stupid immediately. ..in person and in email.


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## HusbandX

Define "not thoughtful enough". 

My wife & I hardly celebrate Valentine's day anymore as it's too expected and forced. Instead I surprise her before or after instead with something much more heartfelt and impromptu.


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## T&T

I would tell her you were budgeting your money and roses the day after V day are 99.99% off and you could get her WAY more for your $$$ 

The ladies made some good suggestions above. Good luck!


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## Entropy3000

You gave her diamonds? 

Ok so help me with this. Is she in an affair or not?

Or you just think so. I think this goes beyond the diamonds.

BTW Athol calls this the skittles principle. Meaning many men wins the hearts of ladies without investing much in this department while others throw diamonds and get nothing back.

If things were ok with you guys she would have loved anything from you. So if were giving diamonds i would have coupled it with something romantic as well.


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## cavenger

Actually no on the affair that I know of. I am not sure what she really wants. I think she is hurt that I didn't do anything special..... or put forth any effort. Or enough in her mind.


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## Entropy3000

cavenger said:


> Actually no on the affair that I know of. I am not sure what she really wants. I think she is hurt that I didn't do anything special..... or put forth any effort. Or enough in her mind.


Ok good on the affair.

So it is the weekend. Make it up to her.


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## Shadow_Nirvana

Entropy3000 said:


> Ok good on the affair.
> 
> So it is the weekend. Make it up to her.


I don't think he gave her diamonds, it was a suggestion on how to try and make up.


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## allwillbewell

My H forgot too..nothing.not even a card...I was so hurt. I know it sounds petty but little gestures of love, affection, affirmations of caring are important to me...I certainly don 't expect expensive jewelry! This was the same man who didn' t bother to do anything not even a card on the first anniversary after Dday...I guess its pretty obvious that he doesn't care and takes me for granted. Makes me wonder if I made the right decision to reconcile?


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## Created2Write

You don't need to get her diamonds to make it up to her. Get her something that will actually matter to her; or DO something that will matter.


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## cavenger

I got her a card. She wanted flowers and candy....which I had planned on getting. She has a point that I didn't make it a priority. I don't know what I was thinking.


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## *LittleDeer*

Do it now, but the candy and flowers, and a card, and write a heratfelt message in it.

Also plan something romantic non valentines related, put a reminder in your phone, and do it every month, for no reason. It doesn't have to be expensive (although if you have the money it can be sometimes).

I really love my SO being thoughtful and romantic.


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## Tigger

You bought her the storm door for Valentine's Day? Just making sure I wasn't saying the wrong thing.

First off, women like personal gifts. That means no appliances, no washer, dryers, vacuums, food processors, pots and pans, doors, power tools, law mower, drapes, trash cans, furniture, etc.

Second, you know your wife. What does she like? Does she like flowers, candy, romantic weekend getaway, bubble baths, lotions, spa day, shoes, jewelry, massages?

Third, I wouldn't do it this weekend. I'm sure you have already apologized at this point. Plan something for next weekend or the weekend after when she will not be expecting it.

This is just one idea
You could book a lovely bed and breakfast/hotel room with a jacuzzi and fireplace for Saturday night. You want it to be a surprise. Get a dozen roses and a box of chocolates and check into the room and leave them there.

Write a romantic note, handwritten telling her how much she means to you. Just a couple paragraphs.

If you want to go all out, get a piece of jewelry or a spa gift certificate.

Take her out for a romantic dinner. A place where kids aren't allowed. 

Then take her to the hotel room. 

Do this all with casual swag; think Dean Martin.


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## alte Dame

You said in another thread that you got her a storm door.

I think you should ask her to sit down for a serious talk. You should ask her just to listen to you. You tell her that you know you messed up, that you've been trying to figure out what to do, that you love her and don't want her hurt. You are sorry.

Heartfelt and serious.

There is really nothing more to do than this, in my opinion.


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## YupItsMe

A sincere apology, peace offering and consistency going forward outght to do it. If it doesnt your wife needs to grow up unles you have been a screw up for years without substantiual improvement. It sounds like you knew better and elected to not make it a priority.

All wives are different. I am lucky. My wife and I consider every day special and dont feel the need to go ape **** on certain days. Its more of a low key focus on the more significant days.


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## CH

YupItsMe said:


> A sincere apology, peace offering and consistency going forward outght to do it. If it doesnt your wife needs to grow up unles you have been a screw up for years without substantiual improvement. It sounds like you knew better and elected to not make it a priority.
> 
> All wives are different. I am lucky. My wife and I consider every day special and dont feel the need to go ape **** on certain days. Its more of a low key focus on the more significant days.


And that's how it should be. If a spouse/SO needs you to do something special on certain days, that means something is lacking the other 364 days IMO.

If the good days way outnumber the bad days, could care less about these so called special days that make you spend money on crap.


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## likeaboss

My wife and I never exchange gifts anymore -- we are older now and usually just buy what we want when we want it. 

We do however do a nice date night every year (without our kids) and also just write a heartfelt card to each other.

It means more to each of us...


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## Wiltshireman

Tigger said:


> First off, women like personal gifts. That means no appliances, no washer, dryers, vacuums, food processors, pots and pans, doors, power tools, law mower, drapes, trash cans, furniture, etc.


IMHO
Women do seem to have a double standard on gifts. My wife thought it was a great idea to get me a set of screwdrivers / pliers for a birthday but was not amused when I got her a new kitchen waste bin (with her real gift hidden inside) for hers.


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## Wiserforit

cavenger said:


> I got her a card. She wanted flowers and candy....which I had planned on getting. She has a point that I didn't make it a priority. I don't know what I was thinking.


Guilt-tripping you for not doing more than a card? 

This started so cryptically. A lot of situational background matters. We are hit and miss with valentines day. Not really a big deal.


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