# I've done something so unforgiveable



## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

I've lead him on for the past 8 years, when I knew eventually I'd find the courage to leave. Instead of leaving like any normal human being would do, I stayed year after year after year, all when I knew I wanted out. I've stolen his time, his youth, his chance at happiness with someone right for him. All the while, I dragged him through the mud, breaking up with him and coming back, over and over and over again. My youth is gone too. Even still, I don't want to leave. I'm comfortable, I lovd him, and its easier to stay than leave. But the depression and anxiety that comes with me staying is almost unbearable. Ive been dreaming all these years of a different life, a different mate, a different city, different house. My intincts have screamed at me all these years to get out, but it never stuck. Is always come back. And its always the same pattern. He took this weekend off to celebrate my 35 th bday, but I'm thinking I should be moving out instead. I feel so guilty and sad. What have I done? Why does it have to be like this?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I think the bigger question is what you plan to do to change it. 

You can stay on the pity pot forever, as the last years have shown you, or you can commit to making a change.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Ive asked my sister if I can move in with her an hour away and commute to work. I don't want to leave him, but clearly I do, right? I do love him. But I shouldn't have these feelings, right?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

What is it that you want that you aren't getting? Sometimes the marriage/spouse gets blamed, when actually a person is depressed about something else in their life or has true clinical depression. Do you have a career, hobbies...do you have goals for the future?


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Whatever the outcome, you have to talk to him about how you feel. Make at least a start with that today. If nothing else, tell him you are unhappy, if he asks questions then answer those.


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## LastUnicorn (Jul 10, 2012)

Start by making a list of all the good things in your life. Focus on those things. Admit you are depressed and start seeking out ways and resources to help yourself with that.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Obviously your life isn't ll that bad or you would have found it easy to leave long ago.

Obviously you are also not happy.

So maybe the answer is you learning to build on the good that is already there, and build sonething great that you do love. Don't leave, instead life better and happier with what you have.

And the first step maybe you. Take leaving off the table and explore what you don't have that you want. And don't mate it a list of the house, car, furniture you don't have. Because all those things can be had with your current husband if you want them. 

First however you need to examine what in you is missing something or wanting sonething different and what that want is.

You must also distinguish wants from needs. You need safety, love , respect. So does your husband. It sounds like you have been holding back on you given the respect to both yourself and your husband. This long term desire you've had for something else has caused you to holdback of letting you respect yourself and your actions, and has kept you from respecting your husband. Often people o thus because the fear that if they respect in this situation, they will betray those other desires and loose them.

It's like if you had wanted a fish dinner and instead got steak. So instead of enjoying the steak, and dressing it with tasty sauce and mushrooms, you decide to spend the entire meal dwelling on the fish.

So second step is to let go and actually give respect to both yourself and your husband. This isn't a switch that you suddenly turn on, but it's a process where you choose to do it, and then each day, each decision you deliberately choose to see the value and good. 

Once you stop viewing your past choices and your husband as barriers and chains that are keeping you from this other life, and instead see them as essential parts that are with you on your journey to add those other things into your life, then you can actually begin realizing your desires.

When you respect yourself and your husband, it's tine to begin blending your long term desires into your life and your relationship.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

animal 2011 said:


> I've lead him on for the past 8 years, when I knew eventually I'd find the courage to leave. Instead of leaving like any normal human being would do, I stayed year after year after year, all when I knew I wanted out. I've stolen his time, his youth, his chance at happiness with someone right for him. All the while, I dragged him through the mud, breaking up with him and coming back, over and over and over again. My youth is gone too. Even still, I don't want to leave. I'm comfortable, I lovd him, and its easier to stay than leave. But the depression and anxiety that comes with me staying is almost unbearable. Ive been dreaming all these years of a different life, a different mate, a different city, different house. My intincts have screamed at me all these years to get out, but it never stuck. Is always come back. And its always the same pattern. He took this weekend off to celebrate my 35 th bday, but I'm thinking I should be moving out instead. I feel so guilty and sad. What have I done? Why does it have to be like this?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Husband or boyfriend?

8 years? when are you planning to leave or do you just fantasize about it?


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

He's my boyfriend. Never wanted to marry him. Wanted someone without kids to start my own small family with. He has 3 boys, one of whom gets in my nerves. I wanted someone nicer, better manners, more easygoing, more patience. We don't have much fun together. It's his work and his kids. That's our life. I'm bored. Feel like I want to live My life, not his. Want a partner who is around to just hang out with me, go shopping at trader joes for us, not Walmart for all the junky kid food. Wanted someone whos not allergic to my cats so I can bring them indoors. Feel I'm wasting our time but everytime I move out, I'm unable to fully let go. I'm very weak. Ive been planning an exit strategy for years because I can't afford it on my own. Finally decided I could move with sister an hour away and start a new life in a bigger city. Feel I'm in a dead end job and relationship here, with no friends or social life. I wanted more, more fulfillment. I've read the above responses but haven't fully processed them yet. Thank you for your responses and help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

animal 2011 said:


> He's my boyfriend. Never wanted to marry him. Wanted someone without kids to start my own small family with. He has 3 boys, one of whom gets in my nerves. I wanted someone nicer, better manners, more easygoing, more patience. We don't have much fun together. It's his work and his kids. That's our life. I'm bored. Feel like I want to live My life, not his. Want a partner who is around to just hang out with me, go shopping at trader joes for us, not Walmart for all the junky kid food. Wanted someone whos not allergic to my cats so I can bring them indoors. Feel I'm wasting our time but everytime I move out, I'm unable to fully let go. I'm very weak. Ive been planning an exit strategy for years because I can't afford it on my own. Finally decided I could move with sister an hour away and start a new life in a bigger city. Feel I'm in a dead end job and relationship here, with no friends or social life. I wanted more, more fulfillment. I've read the above responses but haven't fully processed them yet. Thank you for your responses and help.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


An old saying:

"Fear will keep us in our place."

You also need to look deep inside to see what has prevented you from having all of those things you want - better job, friends & a social life.

You blame your boyfriend when in reality it is only you that has held you back.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Very interesting shaggy, but I don't know if I can stop viewing him as as a barrier to this other life I wanted. The feeling is strong, like deep regret and anxiety about my future if I stay any longer in this relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Emerald, my fear has held me back, not him, you're right. And my weight has kept me from going out and being social. Also, the people in this town are not ones I truly want to hang out with, they're not true friends.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

That's exactly right. It's your fear that holds you back, not him. 

It sounds like you really do need to move on. I'm getting the feeling you're a convenience for him, too. Someone who helps take care of the kids but takes a back seat to them on a day-to-day basis. 

I'd recommend having a convo with him where you tell him all the reasons you don't feel you're compatible. The things you mentioned above are a good starting point. Either he'll step up to the plate and make you a priority or he'll fake it for a couple weeks and it'll return to where it is now and you'll know that it's not that he's simply gotten into a rut but that you're really not compatible.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Co*De*Pen*Dent E*Na*B*Ler


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

animal 2011 said:


> Emerald, my fear has held me back, not him, you're right. And my weight has kept me from going out and being social. Also, the people in this town are not ones I truly want to hang out with, they're not true friends.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well I do hope you find the courage to leave & follow your dreams.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Today is the day. He asked me to either stay or leave. I don't know if I can pull the plug. I'd also have to give up my dog who really belongs to his son. I keep sitting around indecisive. Maybe we should just go get married. But I don't know of that will stop my horrible thoughts. So much for celebrating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

It's not as easy as you would think when you get back out there and start dating. Things aren't always better on the other side. It takes a good while to build up substance and trust in a relationship. You are still young at your age, but you will probably get a feeling like you need to hurry and settle down to get married and start a family before too much time passes. I'm 32 and I feel like that as I am starting over. The desire to build that lasting relationship in order to get married can possibly be quite difficult because you may have different priorities than some other single person.

But you may find a prince charming quickly, who knows. But I strongly suggest that you take a good look at the relationship you are in now. As long as your BF is on board, you all should make a commitment to bring spice and success to the relationship. It starts with you. You can choose and learn how to be in love with him by working at it.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

I left today.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

At last the ex is free to live his own life at least. 

Though $20 says the OP reattaches herself to one his veins (post new penis or three) like she owns him in perpetuum (planB) when she realizes her dreams were just that.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Well done for leaving. You were obviously very unhappy and with this guy out of fear of the unknown.
Take your time to heal from this. Be kind to yourself, be your own best friend. Maybe get some IC.
It sounds like co dependency is an issue here. Read up on it and learn why you allowed yourself to stay in an unhappy relationship for so long. It will help you in future relationships too.
You can get through this. There is so much more to life than an unfulfilling co dependent relationship! This is your chance to experience life!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Im in my new place. I feel ok for now, but I keep thinking "what the hell am I doing?".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rfAlaska (Jul 28, 2011)

animal 2011 said:


> I keep thinking "what the hell am I doing?".
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Pat yourself on the back for finally having the courage to pull the trigger
Get comfortable with yourself
Decide what you REALLY want
Give him space to decide what he wants and needs
Enjoy your life
Don't look back


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Thank you all. I feel like I made a mistake in a way. What's wrong with me? Why do I keep leaving him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> By Animal2011
> He's my boyfriend. Never wanted to marry him. Wanted someone without kids to start my own small family with. He has 3 boys, one of whom gets in my nerves. I wanted someone nicer, better manners, more easygoing, more patience. We don't have much fun together. It's his work and his kids. That's our life. I'm bored. Feel like I want to live My life, not his. Want a partner who is around to just hang out with me, go shopping at trader joes for us, not Walmart for all the junky kid food. Wanted someone whos not allergic to my cats so I can bring them indoors. Feel I'm wasting our time but everytime I move out, I'm unable to fully let go. I'm very weak. Ive been planning an exit strategy for years because I can't afford it on my own. Finally decided I could move with sister an hour away and start a new life in a bigger city. Feel I'm in a dead end job and relationship here, with no friends or social life. I wanted more, more fulfillment. I've read the above responses but haven't fully processed them yet. Thank you for your responses and help.



*If you decide you are going to try and go back to him please be truthful and give him your post above. You can be truthful to him and to yourself.*

Your boyfriend maybe different than me but if you were my girlfriend I wouldn’t let you back into my house or to contact me in any way. The reason for my decision is that you did not want me, never wanted to marry me, did not want my children, you did not say one good thing about him, you do not see working and making children the main thrust of life, and you are weak and cannot make up your mind.


*Do yourself, him, and his children a favor and stay away.*

If you are going to try and use him again and move back in at least consider being up front and honest with him and give him your words above.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

animal 2011 said:


> Ive asked my sister if I can move in with her an hour away and commute to work. I don't want to leave him,* but clearly I do, right?* I do love him. But I shouldn't have these feelings, right?


No, it's not clear that you want to leave him. If you really wanted to leave him you would have a long time ago.

You stay because you are comfortable and love him.

But you are an unhappy person so you torture yourself and him in your unhappyness. 

As Abe Lincoln said... a person is about as happy as they make up their mind to be.

Well you are comfortable wallowing in your unhappyness, thinking that life would be better if ............ (fill in the dotted line).

One thing I've learned watching others is that a person who is unhappy in an otherwise fine environment will be unhappy anywhere they are.

You will most likely be unhappy if you leave him. YOu will be unhappy if you are single. You will be unhappy once you hook up with the next guy in your life... this is you.

Why not work on yourself. Go see a councelor and figure out a way to be happy. Yes you have complete control over whether or not you are happy. You might need some drugs to start with. You can change your life in a way that improves your brain chemistry.

Your husband does not deserve what you have done to his life. So either find the key to your own happyness and joy... or leave him as your missery does not infect him.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Opps, just saw that you left him.

Now that you have left I suggest that you not return to him. You need to figure out what your problem is and why you cannot be happy, why you cannot commit to him or to leaving.

How happy were you in your life before you were with him?

Find out what you need to be happy. Get some help with that. I truely hope that you find happyness in life.

And I hope your ex-bf and move on and find a woman who enjoys a simple life with a man who takes his family and job seriously.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

I wonder if that is the truth. That I am just an unhappy person no matter where I am.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Very sad and regretful today. Feel I've ruined a good thing and a good man. Lost.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs Chai (Sep 14, 2010)

animal 2011 said:


> Very sad and regretful today. Feel I've ruined a good thing and a good man. Lost.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's okay to mourn your lost relationship with this man that you've put a lot of time and effort into.

But you were given two options and asked to make a choice. 

You made it.

And you know it's one a long time coming.

Hurt has a funny way of feeling like it's going to last forever. It doesn't. It just takes time.

It sounds like you have never given yourself enough _time_. You need to heal. You need to _love yourself before you can begin to love someone else_. You need to have passions and dreams that are your own. 

The hardest thing for people to learn is that change starts with *you*. Only *you* can initiate change for yourself. No one else is going to do it for you. 

Now you've been told this, many times, in this thread and you have acknowledged it.

*Now do something about it.*


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> BY Mrs Chai
> *You need to love yourself before you can begin to love someone else.*
> You need to have passions and dreams that are your own.
> 
> ...



*
BINGO!!!*

*The above post goes right to the heart of the matter!!*

Animal 2011,
you are not an animal you are a valuable human that has a twiste mind, soul, and spirit.

You can get a lot better; millions have done it and so can you. 
Stop your self degrading and get your AZZ up and improve yourself


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

I'm not sure I understand how to do this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Not sure hoe to love myself first and initiate change. What do I do? I just want to be simple, solid, and happy. I hate this soul searching crap.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

animal 2011 said:


> Not sure hoe to love myself first and initiate change. What do I do? I just want to be simple, solid, and happy. I hate this soul searching crap.


Well, I'm afraid I have to give you the bad news: an unexamined life isn't one that is worth much. You need to be in therapy. You don't know how to love yourself. So, like it or not, you have to open up the buried issues and face them.

Life is neither easy or enjoyable until we walk through the fire. You've just been dancing in the flames, which is why you cannot commit to making a decision. 

I think we'd all like a "simple, solid, and happy" life. But life isn't that way; it has a nasty habit of slapping us in the face while we're busy making plans.

You stuck it out with a man you didn't want to marry. You don't care for his kids. His lifestyle bored you. 'Nuff said. Wrong guy for you. We tend to hang onto what is familiar, even what is familiar is bad for us.

All the pain in your life seems to be self-inflicted. Why? Because you are jumping through hoops to avoid the real pain of growing up and moving on. I've gone through some pretty hellish situations in my life. Now I look back and realize I'm in one piece, doing okay, and made it through.

Get counseling. Like it or not. You can remain stuck or you can have the hapiness you desire. Just keep in mind that hapiness is an inside job.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

Thank you. I understand but...I just want to go back to him and be simple and happy. I do love him and his kids but I was just scratching my own eyes out. I can't commit but I can't move on. I can't commit to leaving either. I don't want to do work on myself, I want things to be simple! I see others that don't go through this inner turmoil, why do I have to suffer?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

My now-former boyfriend was doing that to me. Keeping me around because of the alternative, being alone, wasn't good for him even though I wasn't what he wanted. I figured it out and took responsibility for it. Honestly, I hate to say this, but don't give yourself so much credit for having ruined someone else's life. He is half of the equation and if during EIGHT YEARS together he has not figured out that he's not going to get what he wants from you and continues to be led along by you, then he has issues as well and should speak up instead of welcoming the elephant in the room. My boyfriend's biggest angst was 'ruining' my October (again.) I told him to get over it, and not to waste any time feeling sorry for me when it was clear he had his own problems (depression and confusion) to deal with. You should not let someone else's inaction factor into your own continued inaction. When grownups get into relationships especially if you're not married, they assume half the responsibility for the outcome. He should have been asking questions by now, and insisting that you answer. If you are feeling the urge to leave and can't get any rest until you do, then you should talk to him and then leave, but spare the angst over that level of control over another adult's life. He made his choices, he can clearly live with them. Being left sucks, but it can also be a relief, and it is certainly not a life-threatening event. If it is, then the person already belongs in a psych hospital. Most people can withstand the hardship of a breakup with the usual supports.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

animal 2011 said:


> I understand but... I don't want to do work on myself, I want things to be simple! I see others that don't go through this inner turmoil, why do I have to suffer?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I always have to suppress a grin when someone says, "I agree with you, BUT ...." Uh, no, you are not agreeing with me or anyone else.

You don't see anyone else going through "inner turmoil" because people usually don't put their business right out there on the street for everyone to see. There isn't single person posting on TAM, or anyone I've ever known during my life, who hasn't had to endure pain of some sort.

You are living in a fantasy world, where everything is simple, love is blind, the weather is perfect, and nobody gets ill.

You suffer because you chose to do so. If you don't want to go to therapy and want to continue with hanging onto the magical thinking that the good things in life should just happen, that's okay. Your life. Your choice. Best of luck.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

How do I choose not to suffer?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rfAlaska (Jul 28, 2011)

Hey Animal

You have taken a HUGE leap here. Stick with it for awhile and see how it goes. Don't bail on the idea of freedom right away. Do what you need to do to get comfortable being by yourself. I don't think you can really assess the quality of your relationship until you're at that point.

You may be lonely now but let me tell you, there is nothing worse than being beyond lonely in a legally committed relationship.

Seriously - been there, doing that.

Take time to assess your life, then make a decision.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

animal 2011 said:


> How do I choose not to suffer?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Okay. I'll give this one final shot. After that, all I can do is wish you the best. Here are the FEW things you can control in this life: what you think, what you feel, and what you say.

You can choose to change your thoughts. When bad crap enters your head, you DO have a choice to think about other things. Really. 

Feelings come and go. Basing one's life only on feelings is not planting one's feet on steady ground. The way I feel today does not dictate the way I will feel tomorrow. 

I can choose to keep my mouth shut. I can choose what I want to say. Nobody controls that, unless they have a gun to my head.

To be blunt, I think you enjoy suffering. Nobody is making you suffer but you, so apparently you want to wallow in this type of negative mindset. You don't want counseling.

You want someone to wave a magic wand and make it all better. You want someone else to just pop up in your life and make you feel better.

JMO, but you sound like a bit of a masochist to me. However, it is your right to embrace the feelings you choose.

Again, YOUR LIFE, YOUR CHOICES.

Signing out!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

@ michzz - HUH?????? The OP'er said she would MISS the dog, which actually is owned by her bf's son. If you don't like my advice, fine by me ... but I think you posted your response to the wrong thread.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

You response is still not relevant to this post. There is another one here on general relationship about a dog being a problem in the relationship. You focused on the dog; thus, my "huh???".

How 'bout you stick with addressing the OP'er's issues and not worry about my responses, okay?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

@michzz -* "Dog is Ruining Our Relationship" *is the thread to which I refer. Your answer is PRECISELY right regarding that post. I am sorry, but you ARE responding to the wrong OP'er here. Go read the post I'm referring to. It will prove illuminating. Again, sorry bud, but you are posting in the wrong thread.


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## KnightTime (Oct 30, 2012)

animal 2011 said:


> Thank you. I understand but...I just want to go back to him and be simple and happy. I do love him and his kids but I was just scratching my own eyes out. I can't commit but I can't move on. I can't commit to leaving either. *I don't want to do work on myself, I want things to be simple! I see others that don't go through this inner turmoil, why do I have* to suffer?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hi there.
There is a lot of good info for you, here in your thread. I'm not going to regurgitate the same info to you again, but one thing you said lately really caught my eye:
so, you don't want to do any work on yourself, but you want things to be "good, simple, and happy"???
to this I would say: get real !!

and also, how do you really know that others don't go through any inner turmoil? come on, now!
one thing that I've learned for sure is that you can never take a 'snapshot' of another person's life, and assume that's the way that person's whole life is…
those persons that you're claiming don't have any turmoil…I'll almost guarantee you that they do!
We've all got our own cross to bear.

some of the people that, from a little ways off, appear to "have it all together" are, in reality, the same folks that have some of the biggest issues, once you get close enough to see the truth


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## farside (Oct 27, 2012)

See_Listen_Love said:


> Whatever the outcome, you have to talk to him about how you feel. Make at least a start with that today. If nothing else, tell him you are unhappy, if he asks questions then answer those.


:iagree:


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Leave him be, he asked you to choose for a reason!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

Two things:
1. Your happiness is yours to create-you can't blame another person for your misery. I'ts your job to find fulfillment in your life. At the end of the day you can change every single variable in your life except one:you. Don't depend on somebody else to create your joy, don't blame them for your depression. Seek counselling
2. This guy sounds responsible. Job and kids. He takes care of his business. Cliche alert: you knew what you were getting into when you got with him. You knew he had kids... 
If you want responsibility free life or your own life (rather than the life of ex wife and your bf), then leave. And take advantage of it. Improve yourself. You'll have no more excuses then.


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## Honeystly (Mar 1, 2012)

Just read your update. Good! Stick to your decisions, your guns. Part of the problem seems that you keep coming back. That's your first REAL challenge. Don't come back. Don't create more drama by this back and forth. Will you miss him? Of course. Will you be sad for a while? Of course. You stated that you will miss the dog. Not him or the kids, the dog.... There's your answer. You care about the dog more than them. So... get a puppy. New beginning for you. A little company. Something to lavish with love and attention. And still, seek counseling. Counseling never harmed anyone. Good luck. Stay strong.


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## tanacotti (Nov 1, 2012)

animal 2011 said:


> I've lead him on for the past 8 years, when I knew eventually I'd find the courage to leave. Instead of leaving like any normal human being would do, I stayed year after year after year, all when I knew I wanted out. I've stolen his time, his youth, his chance at happiness with someone right for him. All the while, I dragged him through the mud, breaking up with him and coming back, over and over and over again. My youth is gone too. Even still, I don't want to leave. I'm comfortable, I lovd him, and its easier to stay than leave. But the depression and anxiety that comes with me staying is almost unbearable. Ive been dreaming all these years of a different life, a different mate, a different city, different house. My intincts have screamed at me all these years to get out, but it never stuck. Is always come back. And its always the same pattern. He took this weekend off to celebrate my 35 th bday, but I'm thinking I should be moving out instead. I feel so guilty and sad. What have I done? Why does it have to be like this?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I used to think I wasn't happy with my significant other, I kept wanting to leave as well. Eventually I realized it wasn't him, it was me. I was depressed, anxious, and unhappy. But it wasn't him, it was my own hangups, my insecurities, my baggage. Now that I have realized that and begun to work on it, we are very happy. I believe that almost any problem can be fixed within marriage (2 exceptions: repeated cheating and abuse). I personally don't think leaving or divorce is a good thing otherwise. Marriage counseling is something you should look into. If everyone tried harder, we wouldn't have as many divorces in the world. If you keep coming back to him, it means you want to be with him.


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