# Married neighbor takes off her wedding band on GNO'S



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Started this thread as it was a comment on another thread. I don't have many neighbors, so the few I have we know fairly well. We've had game nites and bbqs , graduations ect. One of my neighbors regularly has GNO'S where my wife has been invited many times yet hardly ever goes. Recently I went to a local establishment to pick up a food order. When I got there the food wasn't ready so I had to wait. I decided to sit at a table and have a draft beer while waiting. I noticed that my neighbor was there with some girlfriends having a nice time. I was a bit perplexed watching them , saw guys buying them drinks , flirting , touchy Feely, they all looked a bit wasted ect. 

What really surprised me is that she didn't have her wedding band on...I only noticed because it's a huge rock, smothered with smaller diamonds and anytime we have done something as couples it's always at her center piece showing it off. It is quite brilliant. Neighbor didn't see me and i didn't say hello either . 

When I got home I asked my wife about it. She couldn't think of any reason why she wouldn't be wearing it...

This got me thinking a bit. My wife has been out with the group before so I asked her , do you take your wedding band off when you go with them ? She said NO . I believe her as she can't take it off and showed me. It want go over her knuckle. In fact she hasn't taken it off for 35yrs. ... What do the good folks of TAM think about this kind of behavior ? What's the motivation 🤔 

Free drinks or other things...?


----------



## Gregory Chaucery (12 mo ago)

The only 


Jimi007 said:


> Started this thread as it was a comment on another thread. I don't have many neighbors, so the few I have we know fairly well. We've had game nites and bbqs , graduations ect. One of my neighbors regularly has GNO'S where my wife has been invited many times yet hardly ever goes. Recently I went to a local establishment to pick up a food order. When I got there the food wasn't ready so I had to wait. I decided to sit at a table and have a draft beer while waiting. I noticed that my neighbor was there with some girlfriends having a nice time. I was a bit perplexed watching them , saw guys buying them drinks , flirting , touchy Feely, they all looked a bit wasted ect.
> 
> What really surprised me is that she didn't have her wedding band on...I only noticed because it's a huge rock, smothered with smaller diamonds and anytime we have done something as couples it's always at her center piece showing it off. It is quite brilliant. Neighbor didn't see me and i didn't say hello either .
> 
> ...


The only reason to take off a wedding band is that you are either home or you work in an occupation or do an activity where it might cost you a finger if you wear the band on the job or in your activity.
Otherwise, the only motivation is that you don't want people to know you're married, especially if you're going to the bar.


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Free drinks and other things, yes. Flirty, touchy-feely, wasted….nothing good can come out of it.

GNOs are unacceptable in my marriage.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Sounds like an expensive wedding band.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Well, nothing that isn't at least a little malevolent comes to mind.

It might be as simple as getting free drinks.

I would imagine she knows she could be seen though but I've seen more stupid behavior than this.

I had a cashiers job at a gas station eons ago and I had a regular customer that always flirted with and hit on me aggressively. 

A while later, I was canvasing a neighborhood for some reason (can't recall) and I knocked on a door and there she was. I smiled and started to talk to her like I knew her, because I did, and she got me stopped before her HUSBAND heard!

She was married with a little kid!!!!

I was too gobsmacked to do much besides walk away.


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

She’s taking off the ring for exactly the reason you think…to see what else may be out there. Zero reason to do otherwise in public. 

Definitely not the type of people I would want my wife associating with. Not just for GNO’s but for any reason.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I just love GNO. Of course, I’m not married…..😋

I don’t go to bars and such where the GNO occur, but it wouldn’t be acceptable to me for my wife, were I to get one, to go.

What you saw is not the exception, it’s the rule.


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

I guess I should mention that her husband is up at Lake Ontario fishing....So he's not home. My wife only goes out with them when the local golf course bar has trivia night .

She's the only sober skipper in the bunch. The designated driver.


----------



## Gregory Chaucery (12 mo ago)

Jimi007 said:


> I guess I should mention that her husband is up at Lake Ontario fishing....So he's not home. My wife only goes out with them when the local golf course bar has trivia night .
> 
> She's the only sober skipper in the bunch. The designated driver.


It still isn't wise. 
The only way to really resist temptation is to not put yourself in the path of it. 
Otherwise you never know when you'll do it, "just this once".


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

I take mine off because my fingers swell


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

snowbum said:


> I take mine off because my fingers swell


When you're away from your husband on a GNO?

Apparently, the woman in question doesn't take hers off unless she's away from her husband on a GNO.

It sounds like an amazing ring.🙂


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Jimi007 said:


> I guess I should mention that her husband is up at Lake Ontario fishing....So he's not home. My wife only goes out with them when the local golf course bar has trivia night .
> 
> She's the only sober skipper in the bunch. The designated driver.


I still would encourage my wife not to associate with them. Especially if the others are getting drunk. She doesn't need to be their babysitter.


----------



## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Sounds like an upstanding gaggle of women. /sarc


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

It obviously sounds (looks?) bad but this was a one time occurrence, right? For all you know it was being cleaned or something. 

Not saying I believe that, but the point it you never know.


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

SCDad01 said:


> I still would encourage my wife not to associate with them. Especially if the others are getting drunk. She doesn't need to be their babysitter.


If I didn't trust my wife it would be over..But I do trust her...I do understand what you're saying though


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

So you were out and saw this woman and noticed she wasn’t wearing her ring, did your wife say she always takes it off for GNOs? Or are you asking a general question about removing wedding rings for nights out?

IME, wedding rings encourage rather than discourage men to buy women drinks when they’re out with their friends. If a dude is looking for a hookup, a wedding ring means he won’t have any worries about committing to her, it’s a hookup only. So if she IS removing her ring to get drinks, she’s making that effort for nothing. Dudes are chasing her because she’s acting available for a hookup, ring or not.


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

@TexasMom1216 i


TexasMom1216 said:


> So you were out and saw this woman and noticed she wasn’t wearing her ring, did your wife say she always takes it off for GNOs? Or are you asking a general question about removing wedding rings for nights out?
> 
> IME, wedding rings encourage rather than discourage men to buy women drinks when they’re out with their friends. If a dude is looking for a hookup, a wedding ring means he won’t have any worries about committing to her, it’s a hookup only. So if she IS removing her ring to get drinks, she’s making that effort for nothing. Dudes are chasing her because she’s acting available for a hookup, ring or not.


I did ask my wife.... she said its pretty laid back at trivia night which is the only time she has gone out with the group. She doesn't drink with them but has at our house or there's ( within walking distance ) She doesn't remember her talking off her wedding band at trivia night. She doesn't go to the bar GNO


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Jimi007 said:


> @TexasMom1216 i
> I did ask my wife.... she said its pretty laid back at trivia night which is the only time she has gone out with the group. She doesn't drink with them but has at our house or there's ( within walking distance ) She doesn't remember her talking off her wedding band at trivia night. She doesn't go to the bar GNO


So we don't know if this individual woman deliberately takes off her wedding ring for GNO. 

I rarely go to bars for GNO any more, but I'm old and we generally go to a restaurant so we can sit down and have a wine list and a waiter and be able to hear each other talk. I have though, many times, and there was never anything untoward going on. I don't recall ever forgetting to put on my rings, but even if I did, it wouldn't matter. The problem isn't the ring or the bar or the alcohol or the men at the bar. The problem is the woman. Women are not mindless sheep that can be led astray, any more than men are. They make choices. If this woman is acting inappropriately at a bar, she'd be doing that with or without her rings.

IMO.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Send an anonymous letter to the neighbor's husband that she takes off her wedding ring, flirts with men buying them drinks, and just allude to the fact that she likely ends up with them at the end of the night.

He needs to know what kind of slag he is married to.


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> IME, wedding rings encourage rather than discourage men to buy women drinks when they’re out with their friends.


That depends on the class of man. While I know a few men that do this, I know far more that don't. I know I wouldn't.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Interesting thing: how much trust you invest in someone does NOT make them trustworthy.

“I trust my wife”. Yeah, we all did before we found out they were untrustworthy.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Jimi007 said:


> Started this thread as it was a comment on another thread. I don't have many neighbors, so the few I have we know fairly well. We've had game nites and bbqs , graduations ect. One of my neighbors regularly has GNO'S where my wife has been invited many times yet hardly ever goes. Recently I went to a local establishment to pick up a food order. When I got there the food wasn't ready so I had to wait. I decided to sit at a table and have a draft beer while waiting. I noticed that my neighbor was there with some girlfriends having a nice time. I was a bit perplexed watching them , saw guys buying them drinks , flirting , touchy Feely, they all looked a bit wasted ect.
> 
> What really surprised me is that she didn't have her wedding band on...I only noticed because it's a huge rock, smothered with smaller diamonds and anytime we have done something as couples it's always at her center piece showing it off. It is quite brilliant. Neighbor didn't see me and i didn't say hello either .
> 
> ...


If you lay around with dogs you get up with fleas.


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

TexasMom1216 said:


> So we don't know if this individual woman deliberately takes off her wedding ring for GNO.
> 
> I rarely go to bars for GNO any more, but I'm old and we generally go to a restaurant so we can sit down and have a wine list and a waiter and be able to hear each other talk. I have though, many times, and there was never anything untoward going on. I don't recall ever forgetting to put on my rings, but even if I did, it wouldn't matter. The problem isn't the ring or the bar or the alcohol or the men at the bar. The problem is the woman. Women are not mindless sheep that can be led astray, any more than men are. They make choices. If this woman is acting inappropriately at a bar, she'd be doing that with or without her rings.
> 
> IMO.


Well I don't know....She wasn't wearing it when I saw her..As far as my wife she said it's a totally different crowd at trivia night. Mostly married couples attend. The bar she was at is pretty wild


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

My wife did tell me the neighbor is a " social butterfly " Not exactly sure what that means , but she did tell that she goes out of her way to interact with the opposite sex


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

bobert said:


> It obviously sounds (looks?) bad but this was a one time occurrence, right? For all you know it was being cleaned or something.
> 
> Not saying I believe that, but the point it you never know.


Good point. 👍


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

drencrom said:


> Send an anonymous letter to the neighbor's husband that she takes off her wedding ring, flirts with men buying them drinks, and just allude to the fact that she likely ends up with them at the end of the night.
> 
> He needs to know what kind of slag he is married to.


I'll be straight up and honest....I Won't Do That...If he asked I wouldn't lie to him...Not my marriage  , not my problem.


----------



## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

Hi, this is tinytbone on my old phone. As to taking off wedding rings...my wife will do so under certain conditions due to possible injury or damage to her ring's. 
She's also a bit oh a homebody, so the GNO thing rarely happens and I usually encourage her go have some fun and relax. Due to my mechanical work, I've destroyed several over the years myself and wear mine on a necklace, except for when we go out....wanna make sure the ladies know this real-estate is off limits!! Lol
When in doubt ask. We're all adults right?


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Jimi007 said:


> What do the good folks of TAM think about this kind of behavior ? What's the motivation 🤔


It might be for nefarious reasons, and it might not be.

I've been married for a bit over 23 years in this instance, and I have probably worn my wedding ring for at most maybe 3 weeks altogether through that whole time. Since I find wearing rings really uncomfortable on my fingers.

On the other hand my wife wears her wedding ring more often than not, yet there are still lots of times she doesn't wear her wedding ring and or engagement ring at all. Sometimes she doesn't want to damage them, sometimes she gets it into her head it brings her bad luck ( 🤣 🤣 🤣 )when she wears them. Usually when she doesn't wear them, it runs from when she takes her rings off to wash the dishes. And they can be found days later, near the kitchen sink where she put them, when it was her turn to do the dishes.

Not everyone who is married wears wedding rings all the time, or even at all for some people. Plus not everyones fingers get fat to the point their rings can't come off easily.

At the end of the day, wedding rings aren't forcefields so wearing them or not, is not going to prevent marital infidelity or specifically encourage it either.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Oh this is a topic that was a real eye opener for me when my wife and I started dating. She and her sister and a few other women in their social group were talking about their GNO exploits and strategies. Up until that point, how naïve I had been. I had worked under the belief that GNO's and all the trappings were what women insist that they are...just going out and having fun with girlfriends without a care in the world about anything else. I am sure that most GNO's are exactly that, but a not insignificant number are a bit more than that.

The thing that stood out to me more than anything else was exactly this...the married women in the group would remove their rings, or would sit on their ring hands for the explicit purpose of attracting men for free drinks and the social interaction. While I don't think those in relationships were actively looking to find a one night stand hookup, they were absolutely looking to walk that line as closely as they could, and it was like it didn't even occur to them how dangerous of a game they were playing.

This behaviour all came to a head several years later at my daughters destination bachelorette party. The womens behaviour on that trip ultimately ended one relationship, and severely damaged a few others, including my daughter and son in laws. I don't think there was any intent at the beginning to cross lines, but crossed lines is the inevitable end result.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Jimi007 said:


> I'll be straight up and honest....I Won't Do That...If he asked I wouldn't lie to him...Not my marriage , not my problem.


Friends don't let friends keep with hos.

You not a fwend.


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Jimi007 said:


> My wife did tell me the neighbor is a " social butterfly " Not exactly sure what that means , but she did tell that she goes out of her way to interact with the opposite sex


Married + Social Butterfly in bar setting = Trouble for Spouse


----------



## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

Gotta agree with Jimi, wedding rings are just a symbol. It's what's in the hearts an minds of the individuals that counts. They don't magic things happen or not happen.


----------



## KayJC (5 mo ago)

Jimi007 said:


> Started this thread as it was a comment on another thread. I don't have many neighbors, so the few I have we know fairly well. We've had game nites and bbqs , graduations ect. One of my neighbors regularly has GNO'S where my wife has been invited many times yet hardly ever goes. Recently I went to a local establishment to pick up a food order. When I got there the food wasn't ready so I had to wait. I decided to sit at a table and have a draft beer while waiting. I noticed that my neighbor was there with some girlfriends having a nice time. I was a bit perplexed watching them , saw guys buying them drinks , flirting , touchy Feely, they all looked a bit wasted ect.
> 
> What really surprised me is that she didn't have her wedding band on...I only noticed because it's a huge rock, smothered with smaller diamonds and anytime we have done something as couples it's always at her center piece showing it off. It is quite brilliant. Neighbor didn't see me and i didn't say hello either .
> 
> ...


Well, I guess "ladies who lunch" has morphed into GNOs. But I honestly think LWL is a lot more respectable/less trouble making (other than gossip) than GNOs. My late husband frequently traveled because his business required such. And a fellow employee often traveled with him. One time late husband told me that when fellow employee got out of the car when they reached the airport, first thing that guy did wasn't to get his luggage out of the car trunk. First thing was to take his wedding band off and stick it into his billfold. Explain that please (as though I, my late husband didn't exactly know the motives for walking around wedding ringless)


----------



## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

It would be interesting to have our ladies go on a GNO and their spouses / significant others just stride in at the middle/ ending point just to see the priceless reactions from some of them and the possible hoard of horny little men, justing licking their chops!!! Lol yep that would make for an interesting situation.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I recently had some friends over and one pointed out that I was wearing a wedding ring but my wife wasn't wearing her rings. They knew she cheated and that I took her rings years ago, and asked if I'd ever give them back now that I put mine back on. I said I did give them back months ago and she chooses not to wear them. They thought it was awful that she was "refusing" to wear her rings. They don't know why she isn't wearing them, though. Just jumped to conclusions and were incorrect on the probably entertaining to someone stories they came up with. 

The situation in the OP is certainly suspect but you never really know the true story.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

drencrom said:


> Friends don't let friends keep with hos.
> 
> You not a fwend.


You're encouraging him to "imply" that his friend's wife left with another man from a bar when you have no evidence of that. That's lying, and it's not super friendly either. It's one thing to ask, hey, do you know she does this when she is out, and then relay exactly what you saw. But lying and making it out to be a worst case scenario is not something a friend does, either. 

For example, I have that set of friends with an open marriage. A friend of the open marriage's husband saw the wife at a bar chatting up a guy. He called him right then and told him what was happening. The friend knew about it, knew who the guy was, and told his friend, thanks, but "she lets me do stuff" and "we have an arrangement." No lying, no "implying," but still a heads up that something was happening that didn't look right.

You never know. Maybe Miss FlirtsForDrinks has an arrangement. Maybe her H is hooking up on the side too. Doesn't hurt to say something, but it does hurt to tell lies. It's a fine line.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You become what you run with.


----------



## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Many women can't resist the dopamine that male attention provides. That drug will make them do things that provide more of said drug (it can go both ways, men like it too).

That said, most married women know when to put up the hand, when needed. And sometimes their husbands are beneficiaries of them getting some attention in public - they go home and are ready for action.

In this case, who knows. Maybe she did it for the dopamine, and it's harmless. Maybe she actually wants to get laid. You won't know unless she has an affair and it gets out.


----------



## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I can see taking off jewelry at the gym but not to go out with my friends for dinner, drinks etc…

Everyone is different but if men are sitting around the table and flirting with them, most likely leaving off the ring was intentional. Most of the time, people aren’t really that complex. lol No reason to analyze the situation, I'd bet she does this a lot, OP - and maybe she's not having an affair, but it's to appear single to men. Like I said, these situations aren't all that difficult to figure out. We like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but this seems to be exactly what it is.


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Most married women choose not to screw around and have a brain in their head.


----------



## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

TexasMom1216 said:


> So you were out and saw this woman and noticed she wasn’t wearing her ring, did your wife say she always takes it off for GNOs? Or are you asking a general question about removing wedding rings for nights out?
> 
> IME, wedding rings encourage rather than discourage men to buy women drinks when they’re out with their friends. If a dude is looking for a hookup, a wedding ring means he won’t have any worries about committing to her, it’s a hookup only. So if she IS removing her ring to get drinks, she’s making that effort for nothing. Dudes are chasing her because she’s acting available for a hookup, ring or not.


If men are on the prowl and the woman is looking available, the ring does not matter. The woman has signaled that it is not a boundary.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Do you people think wearing rings is a suit of armor or keeps the fukboyz at bay?? 

Do you think men approaching women in bars and buying them drinks are looking for serious girlfriends and wives and will walk on by if they see a wedding ring??? 

A little reality check here - dudes that pick up chicks in bars or on any kind of GNO, couldn’t care less if a gal is wearing a ring or is married or not ….. they only care if they are willing or not. 

A lot of playa’s and fukboyz actually prefer married women because WW’s on the prowl on a GNO are only looking for a quickie in the restroom, parking lot or nearby motel or something and not asking more of them.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

If you are someone who believes that all men or all women cheat, you will search until you find something that confirms your bias. It's just human nature. 

If you feel like you can't trust someone, it's either them or you, but something needs to change. If you find that you are spying on every person you're in a relationship with, it might be you. If you're with someone who does things that make you feel like you constantly have to spy, then it's probably them.

Regardless, what a miserable way to live.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

I trust my wife more than enough to not be worried if she didn't have her rings on. They are symbols and should be worn IMO, but they are not a suit of armor, as @oldshirt said. However, even if my wife had no intent to cheat, I would be seriously pissed at her if she took it off to get guys the buy her drinks. Doing that is for the sole intent of attracting men to flirt and hopefully get their hopes up enough to get free booze. That is pretty ****ty behavior all around.


----------



## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

snowbum said:


> Most married women choose not to screw around and have a brain in their head.


So does that mean no one should think it is a red flag that this woman takes her rings off to go to the bar when her husband is out of town?

Between this thread and the other dumpster fire of a thread currently going on a similiar topic, it seems like it is not ok for any man to assume anything is a red flag when it comes to his wife's behavior, according to some posters.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I trust my wife more than enough to not be worried if she didn't have her rings on. They are symbols and should be worn IMO, but they are not a suit of armor, as @oldshirt said. However, even if my wife had no intent to cheat, I would be seriously pissed at her if she took it off to get guys the buy her drinks. Doing that is for the sole intent of attracting men to flirt and hopefully get their hopes up enough to get free booze. That is pretty ****ty behavior all around.


That's just it. It is making a conscious decision, and taking deliberate action to signal that she is seeking and receptive to men's advances.


----------



## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Jimi007 have you talked to said neighbor's husband about this? If not, why not?


----------



## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I trust my wife more than enough to not be worried if she didn't have her rings on. They are symbols and should be worn IMO, but they are not a suit of armor, as @oldshirt said. However, even if my wife had no intent to cheat, I would be seriously pissed at her if she took it off to get guys the buy her drinks. Doing that is for the sole intent of attracting men to flirt and hopefully get their hopes up enough to get free booze. That is pretty ****ty behavior all around.


Yep false advertising!


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

The type of GNO can pretty easily be established by the clothes they’re choosing to wear. After seeing this stuff play out in my own life, I’d quickly end any relationship where my SO felt the need to go out “socializing” in places where single men are known to frequent.
Let’s face it, women love getting male attention as much as men enjoy giving it. Whether they’ll ad it it or not, when they go out dressed to the 9’s with their girlfriends and claim it’s just because they like to inpresss their gf’s, they’re just total big fat liars. I’m sure there will be ladies who respond I’m wrong, and I’ll stick with my opinion and tell you that you can try and fool yourself, but you can’t fool everyone else.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

TinyTbone said:


> Gotta agree with Jimi, wedding rings are just a symbol. It's what's in the hearts an minds of the individuals that counts. They don't magic things happen or not happen.


You are right.
Is what's in the hearts an minds of the individuals that counts.
So much that is this what do magic to hapen or not.
Like....hidding those just symbols.
For purposes that are in their hearts and minds, those trivial symbols become bothering for some reason .
I hope this shows that I understood your post.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

snowbum said:


> Most married women choose not to screw around and have a brain in their head.


True, agree.
That´s why those loyal women, with a brain in their heads, do not (as you say, most women in relationships don´t) flirt with other men, go for their attention, get touchy feely and neither hide their rings.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

TinyTbone said:


> Yep false advertising!


Also called infidelity.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I have a “junk band” which is still gold but it’s all chewed up. I generally wear this and not my designer band which was significantly more expensive (20x).

With that said, sometimes like if I am going boxing I will take off my ring; then I forget to put it back on.

I wish my wife would do that with her main ring she wears. I cringe sometimes seeing what she does with it on (hers costs almost 20 times what my nice one cost). It’s insured though.

Anyway I would assume she took it off and forgot rather than anything sketchy until proven otherwise.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

When we go scuba diving, we both leave our wedding rings at home. We’d never find them in the ocean and I’m nervous leaving my diamonds in the hotel room.

Seems I’m cheating on my husband. Who knew? 😂


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

TinyTbone said:


> Yep false advertising!


Yup.
And the main target of the false advertising are their partners.
And I choosed to say "partners" cos I have the same view on infidelity regardless the gender.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> When we go scuba diving, we both leave our wedding rings at home. We’d never find them in the ocean and I’m nervous leaning my diamonds in the hotel room.
> 
> Seems I’m cheating on my husband. Who knew? 😂


I get it.
You are saying that both scenarios and behaviours are simmilar.
And as anything is posible the potential becomes also probable.
Interesting.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

TexasMom1216 said:


> When we go scuba diving, we both leave our wedding rings at home. We’d never find them in the ocean and I’m nervous leaning my diamonds in the hotel room.
> 
> Seems I’m cheating on my husband. Who knew? 😂


Oh come on now, you know there is a difference in your scenario, and the one I described. Similar action in not wearing the ring, but very different motivations.

There are plenty of times my wife doesn't wear her rings depending on what she is doing, and I don't think for a second it has anything to do with cheating.

Now if she was going out with her friends, and taking off her rings with the expressed intent of signaling availability for mens attention, I'd have a problem with that.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

samyeagar said:


> Oh come on now, you know there is a difference in your scenario, and the one I described.


I was kidding. I meant the "😂" to signal that. I'm 0-2 on my winky faces today. I realize that my scenario is absurd, it was a joke. Although I do tell
H he's a big ho for traipsing around the world with some chick he picked up in a bar. (We met at a happy hour 18 years ago)

FWIW, women who take off their rings and beg for attention from men, along with all the rest of women who go around begging for attention from men, are kinda sad. The kind of attention you get from men in bars is NOT the kind of attention that is in any way flattering. It's hollow, self-serving and worthless. Women craving that attention are trying to fill a hole inside themselves that the attention they're getting from those men won't fill. They need to fill that hole with education, personal accomplishments and real friendships and connections with people who appreciate them for who they are.


----------



## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> When we go scuba diving, we both leave our wedding rings at home. We’d never find them in the ocean and I’m nervous leaning my diamonds in the hotel room.
> 
> Seems I’m cheating on my husband. Who knew? 😂


I’d say there’s a huge difference between a couple leaving expensive wedding rings at home during an adventure trip - and a woman removing her ring to go out to a bar without her husband.
Unless the ring was being serviced/cleaned or something, that’s a very damning behavior. Doesn’t mean she’s cheating, but it’s a strong indicator of inappropriate intent.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Looks, acts and barks like a dog, it’s a dog.

Looks, acts and flirts like a cheater, it’s a cheater.

If she is acting like a cheater she is more then likely a cheater. 10 to 1 she went home with a guy.


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Women can’t monkey branch with a wedding ring on…duh


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Women craving that attention are trying to fill a hole inside themselves that the attention they're getting from those men won't fill.


🤔


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Hahaha… sorry I drank a scotch with dinner.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> 🤔


I just read it out loud to myself. Walked right into it, didn't I? 🤪


ccpowerslave said:


> Hahaha… sorry I drank a scotch with dinner.


I think I'll get a glass of wine and join you.🍷


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

ArthurGPym said:


> Jimi007 have you talked to said neighbor's husband about this? If not, why not?


I have not , nor will i...He is also not home he's on a fishing trip. I really have no idea of why she took her rings off... It's all conjecture. The last thing I'm going to do is plant the seed of infidelity or sketchy behavior in her husband's mind. If he asked me I would not lie to him about what I saw. It's not my business to interfere with thier marriage dynamic.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I was kidding. I meant the "😂" to signal that. I'm 0-2 on my winky faces today. I realize that my scenario is absurd, it was a joke. Although I do tell
> *H he's a big ho for traipsing around the world with some chick he picked up in a bar. (We met at a happy hour 18 years ago)*
> 
> FWIW, women who take off their rings and beg for attention from men, along with all the rest of women who go around begging for attention from men, are kinda sad. * The kind of attention you get from men in bars is NOT the kind of attention that is in any way flattering. * It's hollow, self-serving and worthless. Women craving that attention are trying to fill a hole inside themselves that the attention they're getting from those men won't fill. They need to fill that hole with education, personal accomplishments and real friendships and connections with people who appreciate them for who they are.


I’m not sure if I follow you…….


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Jimi007 said:


> .......I noticed that my neighbor was there with some girlfriends having a nice time. I was a bit perplexed watching them , *saw guys buying them drinks , flirting , touchy Feely, they all looked a bit wasted ect. *
> 
> What really surprised me is that *she didn't have her wedding band* on...I only noticed because it's a huge rock, smothered with smaller diamonds and anytime we have done something as couples it's always at her center piece showing it off. It is quite brilliant. Neighbor didn't see me and i didn't say hello either .
> .....What do the good folks of TAM think about this kind of behavior ? What's the motivation 🤔
> Free drinks or other things...?





Jimi007 said:


> I guess I should mention that *her husband is up at Lake Ontario fishing.*...So he's not home....


I think that there is something wrong with your neighbors marriage. As to her motivation; I think it is flirting, getting an emotional rush to see how far she can dance on the line of fidelity, if not intending with the right person to cross it. I think it is way more than free drinks. His being off fishing and her alone can either be her being angry and wanting to "show him" that she can have fun without him or that she may have his permission to play while the cat is away.

I have seen enough in my years to know that lots of couple's have strange agreements when their spouse is away. 



Jimi007 said:


> *My wife did tell me the neighbor is a " social butterfly "* Not exactly sure what that means , but she did tell that *she goes out of her way to interact with the opposite sex*


This comment pretty well selects what I think she was doing on GNO and why she removed her obvious diamond ring. I think she was wanting to flirt and get the thrill of men's sexual attention and possibly a lot more or not.

However, she may have a hall pass to use whenever her husband goes far away fishing and he may also have a hall pass when he is off fishing. So you are right to not bring it up with your neighbor. By the way, I am sure you wife told the neighbor lady that you asked why she wasn't wearing her wedding ring, so if she is cheating, she is more careful now about who might be watching.


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

drencrom said:


> Friends don't let friends keep with hos.
> 
> You not a fwend.


Yes we are friends...We are also long time neighbors...The last thing I'm going to do is get involved in thier marriage. Been there done that with a close family member. Once bitten twice shy. Like I said before , if her husband asked me questions I wouldn't lie


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

You are wise for not getting involved. That kind of info is never appreciated.
He’d be hurt, embarrassed, and in shock all at the same time. What I’d be worried about if I were you is that your wife is friends with her.


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> You are wise for not getting involved. That kind of info is never appreciated.
> He’d be hurt, embarrassed, and in shock all at the same time. What I’d be worried about if I were you is that your wife is friends with her.


@Evinrude58 in what way ?
Sorry had the wrong poster quoted


----------



## Gregory Chaucery (12 mo ago)

Jimi007 said:


> @Enigma32 in what way ?


Friendship might be interpreted as tacit approval.

This situation calls for least harm. That's the best you can do with it.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

People who suspect that their wives are cheating all the time or want to are generally quite insecure. They find red flags everywhere.


----------



## Gregory Chaucery (12 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> People who suspect that their wives are cheating all the time or want to are generally quite insecure. They find red flags everywhere.


The best way to prevent it is to be the spouse you can be, but cut bait if your best wasn't good enough.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> I’m not sure if I follow you…….


@TexasMom1216 is the chick her husband picked up at the bar 18 years ago. She gives him a hard time for picking chicks up at a bar. Sorry for having to mansplain it, lol


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

2 points I`d like to mention here:
First, if you see your female neighbour out again and she`s with her friends and some guys, just observe and say nothing.
Never get involved in other people`s domestic dramas. If her husband does not know and if you tell him, once the couple kiss and make up you would be the one they`ll accuse of trying to destroy their relationship and unfriended by them. I know this happened to me when I supported my cousin when her husband was cheating on her. Not worth getting involved, let them sort themselves out. 
Second, tell your wife if this neighbour invites her out again, explain you consider that group as a bad influence and you`re not comfortable with that.
Good advice, I think.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> You're encouraging him to "imply" that his friend's wife left with another man from a bar when you have no evidence of that.


No, I said he can allude to the fact that more likely happened, not that it did absolutely happen. 

But hey, mincing words here. What do you think the purpose of going out and partying and taking off a wedding ring implies? He could leave out the part about implying she left with one of them, unless he saw that she did, but tell the truth on the rest....wedding ring off, flirting with other men....the husband deserves to know. Having an ex-wife that went out on GNOs and took her wedding ring off I know exactly what the purpose was.



> You never know. Maybe Miss FlirtsForDrinks has an arrangement. Maybe her H is hooking up on the side too. Doesn't hurt to say something, but it does hurt to tell lies. It's a fine line.


Well if that is the case, then no harm is done by informing him. Otherwise the only harm that is done is that a husband is being made a fool of. I had people that saw my x-wife out doing pretty much the same thing. Hell, some even knew she was with other men. NOBODY told me until after I found out on my own YEARS down the road. I could have saved so many years of my life and I am quite pissed at those that said nothing.

Again, lying? No, I didn't say to lie and tell the husband something that isn't true. I said to allude as to what likely happened, not say it as a certainty.

So ok, we leave that last part off and he can send an anonymous letter with the facts....taking wedding ring off and partying/flirting with other men. And if he did see her leave with a man, he can throw that in there too.

If I had someone I considered a friend, and he considered me one, that knew this was going on and let me be made a fool of for years....he/she would no longer be my friend.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

gameopoly5 said:


> 2 points I`d like to mention here:
> First, if you see your female neighbour out again and she`s with her friends and some guys, just observe and say nothing.
> Never get involved in other people`s domestic dramas. If her husband does not know and if you tell him, once the couple kiss and make up you would be the one they`ll accuse of trying to destroy their relationship and unfriended by them.


Which is why I suggested an anonymous letter. I get the whole "don't get involved" thing. But as a man who actually lived this exact situation, I had people who I considered friends that knew that my wife was out partying without her ring and flirting with men. Some even knew she left with a few of them, of course not having real proof of cheating, but let's get real here, common sense has to play at some point.

Anyway, for years people witnessed this....said nothing. After I divorced her for finding something out on my own, THEN a few came out of the woodwork to tell me what they witnessed. I was PISSED!! They let me carry on with that skag for years, years I will never get back.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Jimi007 said:


> Yes we are friends...We are also long time neighbors...The last thing I'm going to do is get involved in thier marriage. Been there done that with a close family member. Once bitten twice shy. Like I said before , if her husband asked me questions I wouldn't lie


Ok then, let him carry on with his trollop of a wife unknowingly and let him waste as many years of his life as possible. If you're ok with that, that's you.

I had a friend with this exact same situation. Knew what my wife was doing, didn't tell me, years later when he told me AFTER I had divorced her, he was no longer my friend. Had he told me I could have saved so many years of my life from being with her.



Gregory Chaucery said:


> Friendship might be interpreted as tacit approval.
> 
> This situation calls for least harm. That's the best you can do with it.


As someone who has lived this exact nightmare I can tell you, someone not informing him, even anonymously, is NOT doing the least harm.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

drencrom said:


> Ok then, let him carry on with his trollop of a wife unknowingly and let him waste as many years of his life as possible. If you're ok with that, that's you.
> 
> I had a friend with this exact same situation. Knew what my wife was doing, didn't tell me, years later when he told me AFTER I had divorced her, he was no longer my friend. Had he told me I could have saved so many years of my life from being with her.
> 
> ...


There is no way I could witness the wife of a friend doing what is described here and not tell them. It would be the only thing in my head when I looked them in the eye. I would feel like I was lying to their face.


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

drencrom said:


> Ok then, let him carry on with his trollop of a wife unknowingly and let him waste as many years of his life as possible. If you're ok with that, that's you.
> 
> I had a friend with this exact same situation. Knew what my wife was doing, didn't tell me, years later when he told me AFTER I had divorced her, he was no longer my friend. Had he told me I could have saved so many years of my life from being with her.
> 
> ...


@drencrom I'm sorry about what happened to you. I completely see where you are coming from. Ì stand by what I posted before . I'm sorry this post was a trigger for you. I refuse to get involved with someone else's marriage. Call me a bad friend , I'll own it if it makes you feel better . I saw such a small slice of her evening. We are not BEST friends , yet friendly neighbors. 
Their business us not my business


----------



## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

That begs a different question:

If you see this behavior, do you tell?

IMHO, I would only tell if it was very clear an affair was happening. Like, kissing, holding hands, walking arm in arm. One-on-one dates.

My philosophy on this is if I KNOW there is an affair going on, and my better friend is the one doing the cheating, I talk to that friend, not their spouse. And if my better friend is the one getting cheated on, I tell them what I saw. But it better be obvious, otherwise, too risky.


----------



## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

The situation is 

A group of women on womens night out. At least one has removed her wedding ring. Men are hanging with them, drinking, talking, flirting, getting cosy, friendly etc. Buying the ladies drinks. The men think they are getting lucky. The women could be using them for drinks but could end up moving on somewhere else for things they should be doing with their husbands. 

Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> The situation is
> 
> A group of women on womens night out. At least one has removed her wedding ring. Men are hanging with them, drinking, talking, flirting, getting cosy, friendly etc. Buying the ladies drinks. The men think they are getting lucky. *The women could be using them for drinks but could end up moving on somewhere else for things they should be doing with their husbands.*
> 
> Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk


Either of those situations are inappropriate at best.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Jimi007 said:


> @drencrom I'm sorry about what happened to you. I completely see where you are coming from. Ì stand by what I posted before . I'm sorry this post was a trigger for you. I refuse to get involved with someone else's marriage. Call me a bad friend , I'll own it if it makes you feel better . I saw such a small slice of her evening. We are not BEST friends , yet friendly neighbors.
> Their business us not my business


I would be reluctant to bring it up to someone I didn't really know well either. There is too much unknown. It would be a lot different when you know them well, that what you are seeing is totally out of character and you know the other spouse absolutely wouldn't approve of what you were witnessing.

To me it really depends on how well you know the neighbors. Do you consider them a friend? It does sound like you know them well enough to have recognized that she was missing the ring she usually shows off. It is unlikely that she would have them off when dressed up for a night out, unless... Have you mentioned it to your wife to see what she thinks?


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Jimi007 said:


> Started this thread as it was a comment on another thread. I don't have many neighbors, so the few I have we know fairly well. We've had game nites and bbqs , graduations ect. One of my neighbors regularly has GNO'S where my wife has been invited many times yet hardly ever goes. Recently I went to a local establishment to pick up a food order. When I got there the food wasn't ready so I had to wait. I decided to sit at a table and have a draft beer while waiting. I noticed that my neighbor was there with some girlfriends having a nice time. I was a bit perplexed watching them , saw guys buying them drinks , flirting , touchy Feely, they all looked a bit wasted ect.
> 
> What really surprised me is that she didn't have her wedding band on...I only noticed because it's a huge rock, smothered with smaller diamonds and anytime we have done something as couples it's always at her center piece showing it off. It is quite brilliant. Neighbor didn't see me and i didn't say hello either .
> 
> ...


1. She forgot
2. To flirt


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Jimi007 said:


> This got me thinking a bit. My wife has been out with the group before so I asked her , do you take your wedding band off when you go with them ? She said NO . I believe her as she can't take it off and showed me. It want go over her knuckle. In fact she hasn't taken it off for 35yrs. ... What do the good folks of TAM think about this kind of behavior ? What's the motivation 🤔


WHAT MY NEXT DOOR does is not of my affair, if she goes out on a GNO and takes off her ring I would not see even if she was at the next table to me , 

what boundaries each couple have makes no difference to me 

IF my next door lady takes off her ring or if she takes off her kit , I would not give a dam ,


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

I detest people that stick their nose into other peoples life's , I had a call from a man this morning he asked me if all was well, I said ya fine , he then said people are saying something about you , I said people all ways talk , IT is just the same crap as ever , oh no this is serous I will come to see you tomorrow to tell you I will not say over the phone ,

I just laughed right I will see you tomorrow , 

ALL I know is there are some very strange people in the world , the amount of crap stories I have heard about my self now when I have someone that gossips about others I say to them THAT PEOPLE HAVE SAID ALL TYPES OF Crap about me and I know the same people have said crap about you , 

some people are good at spreading gossip ,


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Gregory Chaucery said:


> do an activity where it might cost you a finger if you wear the band on the job or in your activity.


My BEST FRIEND was working one day when he slipped and fell and grabbed a pipe to hold on to , sliding down the pipe something on the pipe ripped the finger off him .

the day of my wedding my finger swelled with the ring , so i put it in my pocket and each time I put it on again the same thing happened so now my wife has my ring and her two rings on a chain when she goes out


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

moon7 said:


> 1. She forgot
> 2. To flirt


3. She never forgets to flirt...other men


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> There is no way I could witness the wife of a friend doing what is described here and not tell them. It would be the only thing in my head when I looked them in the eye. I would feel like I was lying to their face.


Precisely. If I am merely an acquaintance of an unsuspecting husband, I'd likely stay out of it.

But if it was someone I considered a friend, I wouldn't feel like a good one keeping that from him.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ElOtro said:


> 3. She never forget to flirt...other men


Exactly. I dont even know why OP asked.
😂😂😂


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Jimi007 said:


> @drencrom I'm sorry about what happened to you. I completely see where you are coming from. Ì stand by what I posted before . I'm sorry this post was a trigger for you. I refuse to get involved with someone else's marriage. *Call me a bad friend* , I'll own it if it makes you feel better .


Well, I said you are no friend, but this will do.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

What would I do?
1- Tell him (or her if it´s the case) what I saw.
2- Do it as a strict description of facts. Don´t suggest unseen scenarios.
3- Do it describing the place, people, attitudes, situation, interactions.
4- Give my wider view of it only if explicitely asked for.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

frenchpaddy said:


> I detest people that stick their nose into other peoples life's


We are all in a forum reading other people's intimate stuff. I'd say we are way past this moral ground...
😂😂😂🤭😜

(Its a joke)


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Gabriel said:


> That begs a different question:
> 
> If you see this behavior, do you tell?


I do, but it may be anonymous depending on just how close of a friend it is so that at least the person being betrayed can be aware and not be a blind fool.



> IMHO, I would only tell if it was very clear an affair was happening. Like, kissing, holding hands, walking arm in arm. One-on-one dates.


Well if the flirting doesn't involve any kind of touching, petting or obviously disrespectful acts to their spouse, that might be one thing. I guess we'd need to know the nature of this "touchy feely" that Jimi described. It would have to be real innocent looking for me not to want to say something.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

moon7 said:


> Exactly. I dont even know why OP asked.
> 😂😂😂


Well, if the 2nd and or 3rd alternatives are neart to true, he should be also asking for a good divorce lawyer.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> So we don't know if this individual woman deliberately takes off her wedding ring for GNO.


Given the description of her getting a little too handsy feely with other men, it's a good guess it was deliberate.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ElOtro said:


> What would I do?
> 1- Tell him (or her if it´s the case) what I saw.
> 2- Do it as a strict description of facts. Don´t suggest unseen scenarios.
> 3- Do it describing the place, people, attitudes, situation, interactions.
> 4- Give my wider view of it only if explicitely asked for.


Here in Brazil thats what EVERYBODY would do. Nobody here can mantain a secret for dear life. NOBODY! Some would even call the husband's cellphone while still at the restaurant and stay there waiting sh!t hit the fan. Seriously.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

drencrom said:


> Given the description of her getting a little too handsy feely with other men, it's a good guess it was deliberate.


It’s a good guess, but it’s still a guess. I don’t tend to have any faith in people either but I’m told constantly that I need to try to be more fair and go on the facts instead of projecting my own suspicions. I don’t disagree that in this case this woman is not trustworthy.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

moon7 said:


> Here in Brazil thats what EVERYBODY would do. Nobody here can mantain a secret for dear life. NOBODY! Some would even call the husband's cellphone while still at the restaurant and stay there waiting sh!t hit the fan. Seriously.


This happened to some friends of mine. A friend of the husband called him to find out if he should intervene in what he was seeing. BUT they were very close friends.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

moon7 said:


> Here in Brazil thats what EVERYBODY would do. Nobody here can mantain a secret for dear life. NOBODY! Some would even call the husband's cellphone while still at the restaurant and stay there waiting sh!t hit the fan. Seriously.


I use to enjoy my frequent travels (mostly work related and from a neighbour place in the world) to your country and the splendid people that Brazilians are. 

"Some would even call the husband's cellphone while still at the restaurant..."
There is a saying in Spanish.
"Es mejor llegar a tiempo que ser invitado". 

About keeping a secret....which one?
It seems that the only one kept out of it was the husband!
A bit unfair.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Gregory Chaucery said:


> The only
> 
> The only reason to take off a wedding band is that you are either home or you work in an occupation or do an activity where it might cost you a finger if you wear the band on the job or in your activity.
> Otherwise, the only motivation is that you don't want people to know you're married, especially if you're going to the bar.


Don’t wear it golfing. just kinda messes with the grip.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> It’s a good guess, but it’s still a guess.


Either way, it was off, she is inappropriately signaling other men her interest in them through hands on flirting.....the husband deserves to know that.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

drencrom said:


> Either way, it was off, she is inappropriately signaling other men her interest in them through hands on flirting.....the husband deserves to know that.


He does, just like she would deserve to know if he were doing that. He deserves to know what his friend saw, not what his friend believes happened after he left. He will draw his own conclusions about what happened next.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

My message to the OP:
my own quote - the obvious is not always the fact.
So before even considering informing the said woman`s husband, better make sure you have evidence or you have actually witnessed this woman going off with a guy or guys somewhere, otherwise is just making assumptions and hearsay.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

gameopoly5 said:


> My message to the OP:
> my own quote - the obvious is not always the fact.
> So before even considering informing the said woman`s husband, better make sure you have evidence or you have actually witnessed this woman going off with a guy or guys somewhere, otherwise is just making assumptions and hearsay.


What he saw, the flirting and more related don´t seem to be an assumption.
Speculations shoud be out of place, agree
But are neither needed as seen facts are IMO quite enough as they were.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> He does, just like she would deserve to know if he were doing that. He deserves to know what his friend saw, not what his friend believes happened after he left. He will draw his own conclusions about what happened next.


Agreed. I don't think @Jimi007 speculated about anything after he left. He reported here what he saw only.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

gameopoly5 said:


> My message to the OP:
> my own quote - the obvious is not always the fact.
> So before even considering informing the said woman`s husband, better make sure you have evidence or you have actually witnessed this woman going off with a guy or guys somewhere, otherwise is just making assumptions and hearsay.


He shouldn't report to the husband what he thinks happened after he left. I see nothing wrong with telling him what he actually saw.


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> just like she would deserve to know if he were doing that


Of course


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ElOtro said:


> I use to enjoy my frequent travels (mostly work related and from a neighbour place in the world) to your country and the splendid people that Brazilians are.


Thank you. But did you taste the food? THE FOOD IS AWESOME!!! No pun intended.

I could try to start writing the amount of recipes a mom can do and it would be infinite 🤤



ElOtro said:


> "Some would even call the husband's cellphone while still at the restaurant..."
> There is a saying in Spanish.
> "Es mejor llegar a tiempo que ser invitado".


😂



ElOtro said:


> About keeping a secret....which one?
> It seems that the only one kept out of it was the husband!
> A bit unfair.


😅


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

moon7 said:


> But did you taste the food? THE FOOD IS AWESOME!!! No pun intended.
> I could try to start writing the amount of recipes a mom can do and it would be infinite



Food IS awesome, very specially some regional one (Salve a Bahia Senhor do Bomfim).
And mothers...yes they are also awesome.
We all have only one because Nature is wise


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

gameopoly5 said:


> My message to the OP:
> my own quote - the obvious is not always the fact.
> So before even considering informing the said woman`s husband, better make sure you have evidence or you have actually witnessed this woman going off with a guy or guys somewhere, otherwise is just making assumptions and hearsay.


with out proof he would be open to slander


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> with out proof he would be open to slander


Not if he sticks to the truth and only what he witnessed.


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

I’d say nothing to her husband.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> I’d say nothing to her husband.


Would that change if you knew the husband very well?


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Would that change if you knew the husband very well?


Hmm. If I was a longtime friend, and I mean many years, I would probably mention running into her there. But the no ring? Not unless he asked. who knows? Could be an open marriage.


----------



## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Longtime Hubby said:


> I would probably mention running into her there


Exactly, and then it is up to the husband to ask questions beyond that...


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

If I saw my friend’s wife or girlfriend hanging on other men then yeah I would tell them. If it’s a neighbor or something and not a friend (acquaintances) then no.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ElOtro said:


> Food IS awesome, very specially some regional one (Salve a Bahia Senhor do Bomfim).
> And mothers...yes they are also awesome.
> We all have only one because Nature is wise


Cool. I used to cook some of the food from there, especially shrimp Moqueca, fish Moqueca, Vatapá, shrimp Bobó. Getting hungry!!

Never tryed doing Acarajé though. Making a bread from black eyed beans seems hard af. And then cooking vatapá, caruru, vinagrete and shimps to stuff inside is hardcore tiresome. Did you try Acarajé there? Its a winner!!!


----------



## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

re16 said:


> Exactly, and then it is up to the husband to ask questions beyond that...


Correct


----------



## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

moon7 said:


> Cool. I used to cook some of the food from there, especially shrimp Moqueca, fish Moqueca, Vatapá, shrimp Bobó. Getting hungry!!
> 
> Never tryed doing Acarajé though. Making a bread from black eyed beans seems hard af. And then cooking vatapá, caruru, vinagrete and shimps to stuff inside is hardcore tiresome. Did you try Acarajé there? Its a winner!!!


Yes! 
Acarajé IS a winner.

By the way, not about Brazilian dishes (not yet) but I cook well.
Or so say my daughters and now also my grandaughters.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Like all things its a matter of degrees and context. 

People laugh and flirt and talk and buy rounds of drinks etc when they socialise. And it's getting a little reactive to jump to conclusions of shenanigans because someone didn't happen to have a wedding ring on at that time. 

Married people don't always have sex with other people when they go out in public. In fact in the literally thousands of times I have left the house or visited friends etc unescorted by my spouse, I don't ever recall having sex with anyone,,, and I haven't worn my wedding ring in probably 25 years. 

It's a matter of degrees. Were these people dirty dancing and grinding on each other? Were they making out? Were they slipping into the bathroom out out into the parking lot with each other. Were they making arranangements to meet alone somewhere afterwards? 

And as far as telling the husband,, I'm not sure that should hinge on how well you know him but how well you know his wife and how well you know if the inner workings of their marriage.....

Is she a social Chatty Kathy that yacks it up with whoever is around that is willing to chat with her? Is she naturally flirty and touchy? Does she like a good drink and imbibes responsibly? Vs is she a known cheater or known to have violated boundaries while out socializing and drinking etc? Is the OP privy to any marital or sexual problems that they may be having? 

And whether one has a wedding ring on really means nothing. Wedding rings do not plug vaginas nor do they block penises. 

If a woman wants to cheat, a wedding ring will not slow her down or hamper her efforts one single bit. And a horny dude in a bar looking to score is also not going to care one iota of a chick has on a wedding ring if she is giving him the come-hither. 
If the OP had said that he saw her grinding up on the guy or making out or sneaking off into a restroom, the back alley or the parking etc with some guy, that would be different. 

But laughing, joking, flirting, buying drinks etc is what people do bars. 

Can and do some people capitalize on that to cheat when they are so inclined??? Yes. 

But happening to not have a wedding ring on at a given time is not in and of itself evidence of such. One has to look at the entire scene as a whole and even then it may be hard for the casual observer to ascertain what is and what is not actually taking place behind the scenes. 

Skilled cheaters would not even raise this level of suspicion to the casual observer.


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

samyeagar said:


> Oh come on now, you know there is a difference in your scenario, and the one I described. Similar action in not wearing the ring, but very different motivations.
> 
> There are plenty of times my wife doesn't wear her rings depending on what she is doing, and I don't think for a second it has anything to do with cheating.
> 
> Now if she was going out with her friends, and taking off her rings with the expressed intent of signaling availability for mens attention, I'd have a problem with that.


If your wife wants attention the problem is her, not hanging out with friends.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ElOtro said:


> Yes!
> Acarajé IS a winner.
> 
> By the way, not about Brazilian dishes (not yet) but I cook well.
> Or so say my daughters and now also my grandaughters.


Awesome, me too. Even did a whole sommelier course, even though i dont ever drink 😂


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

snowbum said:


> If your wife wants attention the problem is her, not hanging out with friends.


Well yes, in the sense that the commitment is with the spouse and not the friends, however, friend grouos often have influence on those in the group. Group think is very real.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Jimi007 said:


> I have not , nor will i...He is also not home he's on a fishing trip. I really have no idea of why she took her rings off... It's all conjecture. The last thing I'm going to do is plant the seed of infidelity or sketchy behavior in her husband's mind. If he asked me I would not lie to him about what I saw. It's not my business to interfere with thier marriage dynamic.


Friends like you who needs a enemy.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

re16 said:


> Exactly, and then it is up to the husband to ask questions beyond that...


So if the husband is completely trusting the wife, why should he ask if she had her ring on. It still leaves to husband/friend in the dark about his skank wife.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Oh this is a topic that was a real eye opener for me when my wife and I started dating. She and her sister and a few other women in their social group were talking about their GNO exploits and strategies. Up until that point, how naïve I had been. I had worked under the belief that GNO's and all the trappings were what women insist that they are...just going out and having fun with girlfriends without a care in the world about anything else. I am sure that most GNO's are exactly that, but a not insignificant number are a bit more than that.
> 
> The thing that stood out to me more than anything else was exactly this...the married women in the group would remove their rings, or would sit on their ring hands for the explicit purpose of attracting men for free drinks and the social interaction. While I don't think those in relationships were actively looking to find a one night stand hookup, they were absolutely looking to walk that line as closely as they could, and it was like it didn't even occur to them how dangerous of a game they were playing.
> 
> This behaviour all came to a head several years later at my daughters destination bachelorette party. The womens behaviour on that trip ultimately ended one relationship, and severely damaged a few others, including my daughter and son in laws. I don't think there was any intent at the beginning to cross lines, but crossed lines is the inevitable end result.


I remember that situation and anyone with two brain cells to rub together knew trouble was brewing.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

snowbum said:


> Most married women choose not to screw around and have a brain in their head.


Statistics might differ on the screwing around part but I agree with you about them having brains.😉


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I can't get my ring off most of the time anyway. It never moves.

Mrs. C has tiny hands and a big ring so her rings come off for a lot of exercise activities but go right back on for social activities.

She has backups so if one was in the shop, she would be sporting another one.

She thoroughly enjoys my mark.🙂


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ABHale said:


> Friends like you who needs a enemy.


It's a gray area unless there was obvious crossing of lines.

This one is a maybe.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Julie's Husband said:


> If men are on the prowl and the woman is looking available, the ring does not matter. The woman has signaled that it is not a boundary.


Good Lord! Exactly and women on the prowl are no different!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

snowbum said:


> If your wife wants attention the problem is her, not hanging out with friends.


He didn't imply the friends were the problem but the wife's behavior in that hypothetical situation.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> It's a gray area unless there was obvious crossing of lines.
> 
> This one is a maybe.


I don’t see a problem with stating what he saw his wife doing. Also the fact she wasn’t wearing her rings. It’s the decent thing to do.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ABHale said:


> I don’t see a problem with stating what he saw his wife doing. Also the fact she wasn’t wearing her rings. It’s the decent thing to do.


If I really thought something was up, and I'm definitely one who can tell, I wouldn't hesitate to get the information circulating to where it would do the most good.

This situation is ambiguous. No obvious line crossing. Just a maybe.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

“Hey BS, I saw your wife the other night when I went to so and so to pick food up. She was pretty friendly with some guys and I noticed she wasn’t wearing her rings. Thought you should know.”


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ABHale said:


> “Hey BS, I saw your wife the other night when I went to so and so to pick food up. She was pretty friendly with some guys and I noticed she wasn’t wearing her rings. Thought you should know.”


LoL! I'm such an asshole that I would have said "Your wife was sure getting a lot of free drinks the other night. I almost tried my luck seeing as she wasn't wearing her ring." 

But, as previously mentioned, I would have to know something was up before doing anything.

I'm results oriented and maybe just gets you a handful of shyt


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

gameopoly5 said:


> My message to the OP:
> my own quote - the obvious is not always the fact.
> So before even considering informing the said woman`s husband, better make sure you have evidence or you have actually witnessed this woman going off with a guy or guys somewhere, otherwise is just making assumptions and hearsay.


Thank you...Exactly


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Hmm. If I was a longtime friend, and I mean many years, I would probably mention running into her there. But the no ring? Not unless he asked. who knows? Could be an open marriage.


Yep, for all we know the husband's "fishing trip" could be him doing this thing. I knew a couple that used to do this. The husband went on "fishing trips". Sometimes he was fishing, out camping with some woman. And sometimes he was in a hotel "fishing". I even ran into him at the airport one time when he was flying out to go "fishing". He and his wife had an arrangement.


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> Married people don't always have sex with other people when they go out in public. In fact in the literally thousands of times I have left the house or visited friends etc unescorted by my spouse, I don't ever recall having sex with anyone,,, and I haven't worn my wedding ring in probably 25 years.


like me I have not worn my ring in 25 years , my wife can't 

I find the people that think they have the right to dictate to you or anyone that we should are in my mind the same as the religious police in Iran that killed the woman for not having her hair covered when out in public ,

i go so far as to say it is their dirty mind that see the wrong because what they think they see happing is what they wish they can do if they could get away with it ,

I my self do sub-contracting to a company run by a husband and wife, They have many sites: platforms the husband has been to the one near us 3 times this year when I NEED TO TALK TO A BOSS sometimes I get to meet with his wife she knows their job and knows the product she will invite me to dinner with her between meetings , we have been to the same restaurant the same able a number of times , if someone photoed us as dinner and sent it to her husband not knowing BECAUSE the roll I play in the company is after hours and most never see me working there could easy think I was up to something with her .

you take a photo (a snap shot of a moment in time ) of two people at a table , not knowing why or what they are talking about it could be made look very different ,


----------



## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

we have a woman that lives on our road , people are the same the world over they give nick names to people very easy, I am well over 20 years here now and for many years the only name I know her by was Mini Jupe the french for short skirt ,Mini jupe is about 60 and still dressed in her short skirts and looks smart when you compare her to others the same age and how they look and dress I think mini jupe stands out , the woman that lived in our house was known to be a kind of local hotwife and many called her husband a cockhole or the french word for it ,but I have no idea was she they were happy together and are still together he is now 78 she is 72 

sticking your nose into how a person wants to dress with out knowing them and what makes them tick is no different to religious control , it just shows we in the free world are not much better than the Taliban


----------

