# confused...



## melis38 (Sep 1, 2017)

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## Yag-Kosha (Sep 8, 2016)

melis38 said:


> about 7 years ago I found messages in his phone with another woman. graphic explanations of what he wants to do





melis38 said:


> (2014) I had that guy feeling and found him on a dating profile, he would use in town and while he was out on business...I come to find out he had sex with multiple women during our time down there.





melis38 said:


> fast forward to 2 months ago...got that nagging feeling, looked into his Google activity and saw baked pictures of him with his face and tattoos blurred out and a few other things





melis38 said:


> he also downloaded an anonymous texting app and texted some girl at the bar one night





melis38 said:


> He…had a light bulb moment and realized how much he loved me


The only thing to be 'confused' about in your case is the angle of your boot to ensure optimum distance when you boot his ass to the curb.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Let him know if he cannot commit to you 100% in all ways a respectful marriage should be then you will relieve him of the burden of you and the marriage 100%

There is no room for this level of mistrust/distrust and love together as they cannot coexist, one of them will push the other out.

You can choose which ones with healthy boundaries but do not make any you are not able to enforce of you will appear indecisive and teach him how to continue treating you and your marriage.

All you can control here is you.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

melis38 said:


> I am confused ...


Confused abut WHAT?

You've consistently found him screwing around - again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

And every time you catch your serial cheater up to no good yet AGAIN, you holler at him, cry about it, and then delude yourself into "moving on."

Let me translate_ your _definition of 'moving on' - in your case, it just means accepting his cheating yet *again* and agreeing to swallow yet *another ***** sandwich being served up by him, and deluding yourself into thinking things are now going to get better.

Until you catch him again and the cycle repeats itself. Wash, rinse, repeat.

He's a serial cheater. He'll *always* cheat. This will *always* be your life with him.

He'll continue to make phony promises to you about how he's never going to cheat again or he's a 'changed' man or how he's seen the errors of his ways and blah blah blah.

But he won't change. He's a serial cheater.

If you stay, expect the cycle to continue. Sorry.


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## melis38 (Sep 1, 2017)

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## JustTheFacts (Jun 27, 2017)

Logically the decision is easy but emotionally it is extremely tough. He is a serial cheater with no true remorse. He will cheat again and again and again. You can either grieve the loss of your marriage and divorce him (healing in time and moving on with your life and finding somebody who truly loves you and appreciates you) or you can stay with him and suffer through his betrayals for the next few decades. I am sorry that you have to go through this.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

melis38 said:


> I'm confused because I feel like a freaking idiot and a fool, yet i still love the guy. Am i tired of constantly looking around to see if he has done anything? of course I am.
> I can say this....the difference between the last time when he actually had sex with random women to now when he took the pictures and "only thought" about posting them ....things are different or maybe I should say I am. I didn't even cry when I found out 2 months ago, because I think I always knew it would happen again. that should probably tell me something there. as for what am I going to do from this point on....i don't know. I absolutely hate this....


He is not going to change, he doesn't have to, you let him away with it every time so as far as he is concerned you will continue to do nothing about it. Why are you still with this guy. Expose him to the military, get a great lawyer and treat him the way he deserves to be treated, he is nothing but a POS. You deserve much much better, why are you continuing to suffer like this? Have some self respect.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

He is not a keeper. Throw him back.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Continue going to therapy so that you can learn to love yourself more than the local idiot/ sereal cheater that doesn't love, value, or respect you. If you get healthy, you will realize that there is no way you can love someone like your WS. This so called love is ubhealthy or dysfunctional.


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## melis38 (Sep 1, 2017)

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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

melis38 said:


> I'm confused because I feel like a freaking idiot and a fool, yet i still love the guy.


Only an idiot and a fool would continue to love someone who without question DOES NOT love them.

Only an idiot and a fool would believe his lies of caring about her and believe he plans to stop cheating.

Only an idiot and a fool would stick around this long due to her codependency and extremely low self esteem. 

Stop being his idiot and fool. Alone is better than continued humiliation and deceit. That's all he has to offer.

Well that and a possible STD or two.


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