# Wife Angry or Seeing Someone?



## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Ok so a little background first. I have been with my wife 8 years, Married for 2 years. Overall our relationship has been good. I had a red flag from her when she first moved in. She was suppose to be in court for a ticket and I found out she was browsing the web looking at an ex's profile. That was in 2006. I dismissed it and we were very happy until 2008, when I messed up and left her for a month because I thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. We worked through that, I thought. Turned out she was resenting me for that for the next 2 years. So in November of 2010 I was feeling like something was off with her. I tried to talk to her but got nothing out of her. I woke up in the middle of the night with this gut feeling that something wasn't right. I put an app on my phone that is voice activated. I felt ashamed about it the whole day. I went to listen to it and the whole time I am thinking this is dumb. Well, I heard her having a Skype conversation with a male from her past. I was furious...and told her to leave. Unfortunately, I let her come back the next day and we talked about it. I figured eye for and eye, we have both messed up. Things were great after that and we decided to get married in 2011. I have had a hard time letting go of that Skype thing but I haven't been an a-hole about it. I have brought it up a few times, yes, I know I should have left that at the door before marriage. I have insecurities and trust issues which I am getting professional help for. Anyway, The last two years have been going well, we have been getting our money in better shape, we seem strong. She started a 3rd shift job as a 911 dispatcher a year ago. And we promised to make sure we spend time together. Well, this November I starting noticing less time together. Then December, more sleep, more Facebook, Cell Phone out of my reach, all kinds of things, the sex is non-existent. I asked her if everything was ok and she kept saying yes. Everyday for a month I was feeling that same feeling I had in 2010 when I caught her. Finally, I just got sick of her not talking and I flipped out and said a bunch of junk that I really didn't mean. After that we still were getting along, nice texts love notes, blah blah blah but still, a lot of things were weird, constant facebook messaging, sleeping 10 - 12 hours, losing weight, new clothes, makeup like crazy, and perfume to the moon. Her nothing wrongs quickly changed to things she doesn't like about me, stuff I did years ago, things she has never told me about. And within days it went to she doesn't have the answers. Finally, about a week ago...I had enough. I didn't yell, or say crappy things, I just told her she needs to tell me what is wrong. She finally says, I don't know, I don't know where we are going, I have so much anger with you right now, and starts telling all the things she is mad about. Everything was fine in Oct. and part of Nov. and suddenly all of these changes. I told her that if she is feeling this way and obviously can't talk to me then she needs to leave for awhile. She sometimes makes it sound like we are working things and other times it sounds like the end. But now for the last few days. She acts like we aren't together our minimal texts about the kids feel like a business transaction...and there is no end to this in sight. I am giving her space but feel like I am waiting for nothing, like her mind is made up. Still wears her wedding ring. The kids tell me she isn't eating or sleeping. I don't know what to think, is she just really this mad or is there someone else. I have more details but there is so much to write. This is a starting point I guess.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Trendy

Have this thread moved to the "Coping with Infidelity" section.

Because your wife is giving off red flags like crazy.

You will get good advice there. 

Have you looked at your wifes cellphone?

Have you looked at her facebook or on her computer?

Wehad a story a year or two ago with a wayward wife that was a 911 dispatcher. She was cheating on her husband with a cop.

Not saying your wife is cheating but you have cause to be alarmed.

HM


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

happyman64 said:


> Trendy
> 
> Have this thread moved to the "Coping with Infidelity" section.
> 
> ...


:iagree:
And follow your "gut" feeling.
Do NOT confront her until you are comfortable that you have enough proof.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

happyman64 said:


> Trendy
> 
> Have this thread moved to the "Coping with Infidelity" section.
> 
> ...




Yep, the rate of infidelity in emergency services is rampant. I've been in it for going on 32 years and W has been a 911 supervisor for 23. We have seen unreal amounts of it within these groups.

I agree with the above. It needs to be moved to CWI.


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Thanks for the input. How do I move it to CWI. Copy and paste or what?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

Cell phone is untouchable and facebook is on it. Constantly messages but rarely posts and always has the old "i dont want u to see phone slant". Always jumps on when im out of the room.

QUOTE=happyman64;6610569]Trendy

Have this thread moved to the "Coping with Infidelity" section.

Because your wife is giving off red flags like crazy.

You will get good advice there. 

Have you looked at your wifes cellphone?

Have you looked at her facebook or on her computer?

Wehad a story a year or two ago with a wayward wife that was a 911 dispatcher. She was cheating on her husband with a cop.

Not saying your wife is cheating but you have cause to be alarmed.

HM[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

I have suspected a cop. She tells me uneeded info. Like i switched from fire dispatch to JPD tonight cause kelly is dating a guy on fire and she wanted to do fire dispatch. Wtf does this have to do with anything and why must i know.

UOTE=happyman64;6610569]Trendy

Have this thread moved to the "Coping with Infidelity" section.

Because your wife is giving off red flags like crazy.

You will get good advice there. 

Have you looked at your wifes cellphone?

Have you looked at her facebook or on her computer?

Wehad a story a year or two ago with a wayward wife that was a 911 dispatcher. She was cheating on her husband with a cop.

Not saying your wife is cheating but you have cause to be alarmed.

HM[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trendy44 (Jan 17, 2014)

I did move this to CWI...and thanks again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

trendy44 said:


> I did move this to CWI...and thanks again.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good. You can always PM a moderator to help you on TAM.

You will get more advice.

What type of cell phone does she have?

Have you thought about putting a VAR in her car to listen to her conversations?

It gives you a lot of insight to know who she is talking to and what she is saying.

PM weightlifter for assistance.

Most importantly do not confront her anymore.

Be patient.

HM


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## Thebes (Apr 10, 2013)

I would keep my mouth shut and ears and eyes open. I smell an affair.

Not intending to be mean but you kind of ruined the relationship to begin with when you cheated. Women don't have the big O with a cheater, or at least rarely always figure there's an exception, and maybe she loves you but missed that. Not that it makes it right for her to cheat.


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