# My husband doesn't spend time with me



## ilovemygirls (Mar 16, 2010)

I am really on here because I have no where else to turn. My husband doesn't spend time with me. He is too busy spending it with his dad whom just recently retired. I have tried to express my concern but he doesn't listen. Whenever I am off work he tends to make sure he has plans with his dad. Then I get to stay home by myself.


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Can you invite grandpa (and grandma too, if she's around) over for some sort of family activity? Saturday picnic or something? Many grandparents love to be around the grandchildren, and would love to be invited to join the rest of you for a picnic and kite-flying.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Talk to his dad.


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## Bluemoon7 (Jan 27, 2010)

Make plans for you two to do something. Make sure that you tell him the plans before he makes plans with his dad. IMO, it's important for couples to spend time together.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Well, when you do spend time together what kind of time is it? Is it fun time or is the "Honey Dos" where basically it's household chores or shopping, etc? I find that this happens a lot with couples. Their time together is basically "work" and the husband (or wife) feels the need to escape from the house and spouse to have fun. Think about it

If this is the case then you need to actually have "fun time" or "dates" with your husband. Every weekend my husband I do fun things like go out kayaking or bike riding or take in dinner and a band (we like the bar scene). You might want to consider engaging in some hobbies and activities that you both enjoy and schedule it in advance. 

He can do the same with his father with regards to scheduling activities with him. Maybe he can see his father a few days a week and let you know in advance and you can do stuff you like as well with your friends. The key is planning ahead and knowing what to expect. 

First thing is to be nice and let him know that while you understand that he wants to spend quality time with his dad you need some too so perhaps you can arrange to spend time together and work something out? Right now you obviously just feel alone and rather powerless so try and take the the initiative but don't come off as angry and resentful. No one wants to be bullied into spending time with someone else.


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