# Beware of the toxic in-laws! (Lesson hard learned)



## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Hey all.

As our seperation takes its course, one of the things that has come up now is the fact that in-laws DO have the capacity to be toxic, probably moreso than most. 

For myself, it had to do with my wife's insistence on living close to them, which only made things unhealthier and created a massive dependency. I don't think my folks helped the situation, either...always buying us stuff when they came to visit. 

There was also an INSISTENCE that her father did our taxes for us, which always led to late tax returns when we really needed the money. It felt like we couldn't do anything for ourselves. 

For the time being, my wife(who has moved back with her parents) is stuck playing the role of chauffeur to my MIL, who just "doesn't like driving". I think my wife is starting to see that the grass really ISN'T greener on the other side. 

Toxic family can rub off on anybody, even yourself. I find now that I ask these questions to myself when I reflect on things that have gone wrong...

1) Why are they toxic?
2) Do they know how to show love without being controlling, critical?
3) Are they good at guilt trips? (THIS IS IMPORTANT. #3 IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING TO CONSIDER)

Sometimes, all it takes is #3. Once their toxic guilt for whatever they've done wrong/gone wrong in life rubs off on you, it forcibly becomes yours, and it's not worth having. I hope this helps anybody who is in my situation, and I'm quite sure that I'm not the first.


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

I agree. Though I'm the one living with my parents.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

my mother in law was most toxic.my exhusband was pretty weak minded and a momma's boy so when she told him i wasn't good enough for him over and over,he began to believe it.this is what pumped his ego enough for him to justify seeking other women.


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