# Edge of divorce...



## unsure&lost (Jul 3, 2012)

My husband has changed from who i remember. He is mean. I cant talk to him or it turns into a aurguement. I no longer feel any passion for him. I find myself turning away from him. We had mamy talks about needing to change some things. But this time i have no desire to try. I lost respect for him. I also am disappointed in him as a husband and father. He has been in my daughters life for about 6 years. He was a friend to her first however i cant wear both hats. He cant grasp parenting. If he cant act like a kid with her then he is just mean with her. Always telling her she dont know. Or calling her a ass kiss. Just nonsense stuff. I feel like i have 2 kids. That i always gotta tell him common sense parenting. I dont feel like i have a partner. My marriage feels like a competition on who can win. He makes everything so hard. Besides the random help with loading and unloading dishwasher and cutting grass...i seriously do everything else. He works but cant right now...however he hasnt stepped up to help out. Stupid video games. He will help his dad with house projects but dont do them here unless i start them. I feel bad cause anymore i see him as a kid. A 32 year old that i have to teach. He cant do without help. I feel let down. My daughter said she will never be able to call him dad. She is really shjort with him. She is not afraid to stand up to him but should never feel like she has to. Thats what bothers me. He says he feels like a 3rd wheel. Well participate in things we do. But if he dont like he wont do. He makes me feel bad to hang with my daughter and that is just crazy to me. I dont wanna leave my home but no way i can afford the morgage alone being i have been a stay at home home for the last 2 years. I feel stuck but i know staying jusy because i love my home isnt enough in the end. I just dont want to live this life tjis way till i am old. I just am afraid that maybe i am wrong. Because i alwaus feel bad hurting ppl.


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

You are not wrong. In order to be a functioning family unit, he has to grow up and participate as an adult, a husband, and a father figure. In order to "wake him up" you just might have to separate so that he finally comes to the realization that he actually WANTS you and your daughter in his life.

First, you may have to start looking for a job to support yourself and your daughter without him. Does your daughter's father pay child support? If not, is there any way you can start getting that income? If your husband leaves the family home, is it possible to get a "roommate" (friend, family member) to live with you and help with the expenses? How about Social Services in your area? Naturally you will have to look for financial assistance wherever you can get it.

Second, a separation is a wake up call. It shows that you are serious about the options of either he grows up or you are done. Your present situation is not good for your daughter, and you are all she has. His behavior will eventually influence your daughter in her choices when she is older, and you are her sole protector. Consider her future in what you decide to do.

Yes, it is tough to be in your situation, but there are ways out of it. Since he won't consider that his behavior is inappropriate, then it leaves you to be the "adult" in your home. Do what's best for your daughter and yourself.


----------



## unsure&lost (Jul 3, 2012)

No her real father left when she was first born. My husband adopted her. She already said she does not want to visit with my husband if we leave. My parents offered us to stay with them. We will have 2 bedrooms and a bath to ourselves. Mu husband claims he NEEDS us. Then he says he will do just fine it will be me that struggles. My father told him once that i did just fine 6 years raising my daughter and did a good job. My husband thinks he will just get his own place and be fine cause he has his job and it pays alot. But he dont know jow to do anything on his own. My only sister is married with kids and my friend has her own place with 4 kids and just got married so room mates are out of the question. I could do a small apartment but i would have to leave the area where they are cheaper. Then my daughter will have to switch schools and she is heading to 6 th grade. Our school is small and all the surrounding schools are aboit 3 times bigger if not more. My parents live down the street so that would be my best option i think. Mu husband thinks money is everything...he has the money so he is better off. I dont look at it that way. I jist wanna be happy. Sure jappy in my home but can still be happy back where i was 7 years ago before we got together


----------



## Ms.Mya (Jul 12, 2012)

I am totally right with you girl. I just posted a thread on some of my issues. I understand the "numbness" to the marriage. I know my number one problem with my husband is lack of trust. I can't trust him at all and because of that it repulses me. It just bothers me that I have let it get to this point. I don't want to have sex with him anymore. I don't even want to sit down and talk to him. When he's talking, I'm not paying attention at all and just acknowledging him with a nod. I'm tired of trying at the marriage anymore. I believe that I'm on that edge of divorce too.


----------

