# Valentines Day suggestions for 65 LD wife



## Young at Heart

OK, Valentines Day is coming up. I have been married to my wife for over 40 years. I am 66 and my wife is 65. Two adult kids (out of the nest) and two grandchildren. My wife is LD, and I am HD, which is a source of friction in our marriage, but one we seem to have adjusted to and compromised one with the help of a sex therapist and marriage conseling several years ago.

My request is for suggestions on Valentines Day presents to give my wife, that will not hurt her feelings. Seriously. I have some thoughts, but they are getting pretty old and reptatative by now.

My wife will not wear lingerie and feels they are insulting to her. She has body self image problems. She is sexually inhibited. I have asked about couples massage or day at a spa with a massage, and she has yelled at me that she will not get naked or half-naked in front of another person for any reason. I have tried pedicure gift certificates and while she likes that, she is so a fraid of catching some disease, that past coupons have not been used. She will not do couples massage or dance classes. She will not go into a sex shop to look at anything. Just about every piece of clothing I have ever bought has either been returned or never worn.

She is concerned about her weight so chocolates, going out to a nice dinner, are not in the cards. Cards are not in the cards as she things they are fake emotions. She is also frugal, so expensive things are not desired, even though we can afford them.

Again, what I was hoping for was some suggestions on non food, non-expensive, non-any-hint of sexuality things I could give my wife for Valentines Day. I was hoping for some new ideas.

thanks.


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## karole

Does she have any hobbies? Does she enjoy reading - what about a good book? What about just taking her out to her favorite restaurant and to a museum or something? I really feel for you. I hate trying to buy gifts for someone who doesn't want or like anything you get them.


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## skype

Some ideas:
Copy a photo of the two of you and put it in a heart-shaped frame.

Have your grandchildren write what they love about her or both of you, and frame it.

Burn a CD or an iPod recording of her favorite music.

Make a list of your favorite memories of your life together; include pictures and put in an album.

Does she like jewelry? A charm bracelet with each of the grandchildren's name and birth dates engraved.


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## Young at Heart

karole said:


> Does she have any hobbies? Does she enjoy reading - what about a good book? What about just taking her out to her favorite restaurant and to a museum or something? I really feel for you. I hate trying to buy gifts for someone who doesn't want or like anything you get them.


Hobbies, not really. 

Yes she reads, but is an Amazon Prime person who buys them electronically, and orders hard copies through the local library. The only books i buy her are typically travel guides. Which is one of my standby's as she live to travel and read about travel. 

I have tried the restaruant thing, but she doesn't like the crowds near Valentines day. As to museums, we have gone to most of them in the area. 

I often do flowers delivered to her office on the Monday of the week that Valentines day happens. That way she gets to be the "queen" that all her coworkers are jealous of. I also typically will try to buy a new travel book to someplace she wants to go. Also I sometimes will cook a dinner at home for her and rent a DVD for her to watch while I cook or afterwards.
For her birthday, I often will create a custom color calendar for her made up of photos of places we have traveled to recently or important events in her life.

Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.


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## Young at Heart

skype said:


> Some ideas:
> Copy a photo of the two of you and put it in a heart-shaped frame.
> 
> Have your grandchildren write what they love about her or both of you, and frame it.
> 
> Burn a CD or an iPod recording of her favorite music.
> 
> Make a list of your favorite memories of your life together; include pictures and put in an album.
> 
> Does she like jewelry? A charm bracelet with each of the grandchildren's name and birth dates engraved.


Thank you for the suggestions, I do a lot with photos for her, of her, of places we have been, of our kids and grandchildren. I reguallary load photos like that on her phone, set up her home computer screen savers as such photos, and create photo calendars for her to use at work. As to music, one son seems to have cornered the market on that present. 

As to jewelry, she is real particular. I have bought lots of jewelry that sits in her jewelry box and never comes out.

Thanks again for the suggestions.


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## GusPolinski

Young at Heart said:


> OK, Valentines Day is coming up.


F#CK!!!


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## 2ntnuf

No idea what this site is. I just did a Google search and what I read seemed like it would be helpful. Simplicity is tough when you really love someone deeply and want to give them everything. It's so frustrating to want to give all you dream about and not be able. What I found over the years was that the small things mean as much as the big ones. Things mean more when they are from the heart and figured out by you. Conversations we had were important to me. I took note of what she said. Asked questions to find out some direction, interest, or wish that she would not easily let me know. I then used those ideas to find gifts or ways to show her that I listened. It shocked her, of course. No man listens.  

All those little things I did, made her feel special. Just don't overdo them or she will get tired of it. She will respect you more if you do them once in a while for no reason, but most of the time because you appreciate something she did or said. Well, that's what worked for quite a while for me. 



> You are never too old to be in love. And for all lovers out there, Valentine’s Day is a special time, not only to indulge in youthful pursuits but also to be thankful for a true companion in the autumnal stages of life. So here are a few Valentine’s Day ideas for senior couples who have been married a long while.
> 
> A gift of love
> 
> Presenting your loved one with the perfect gift is one of the best ways to make Valentine’s Day special. And who doesn’t like gifts - even seniors do. However elderly people could find shopping a strain and the pre-Valentine’s Day rush in the stores are unlikely to make things easier. Moreover, when you already have a house stocked with crockery and items of house décor accumulated over so many years, such gifts seem superfluous. Rather make something by your own hands to tell your loved one how special he/she is. A love scrapbook never fails to hit the mark. Prepare a scrapbook with photos of you and your spouse from all your years spent together. It could make a lovely trip down memory lane. However if dabbling in arts and crafts seems strenuous, you could simply write a letter, telling your spouse how much he/she means to you. Fold some rose petals within it and tie it up with a satin ribbon. Then again if this seems way to sentimental for you, you could even make a ‘Box Full of Love’. Find a small box and embellish it in a way that you think represents the recipient. Fill the box with small notes which say, "I love you because..." Finish each statement with a singular reason. This is romantic without being mushy; it won’t cost you anything and best of all won’t require a trip to the store in bad weather.
> 
> Take off
> 
> Yet another great Valentine’s Day idea is to go somewhere special to spend it together. If you have been planning to take a cruise or a tropical vacation for a while, now is the best time to speed things up. Only make sure that your tour or cruise provider has special arrangements for elderly couples. Also when going for a vacation, stay away from extreme climates and harsh topographies as well as destinations which are deemed unsafe for foreigners. However if you do not have the physical or financial capability to undertake a major journey, how about finding a place nearer home to go vacationing? It could mean anything from heading for the nearest beach or making a proper four-day trip to Florida. But then if you cannot be bothered to go through flight delays and holiday rush, simply make an appointment at the local spa or a health resort near your town. You will not only be indulging yourselves some with beauty care, massage and sauna but actually end up feeling relaxed and rejuvenated, both in body and spirit.
> 
> Valentine's Day Ideas for Old Married Couples | Futurescopes.com


Age just means less than most think. It's time to show her why she married you. Start dating her again like you did when you met. Reads like you don't know her. Have fun with it and don't try to get it right so much as just doing something fun. Just take her somewhere you want to go and think she will enjoy. Don't worry to much about it and don't tell her what you've chosen. If she guesses, have a back up and go there instead.


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## skype

I loved it when my husband had flowers delivered to my office, too. That was enough of a gift for me, along with going out to dinner, which you said is not pleasurable for her.

I would say she is not a gift person. Do not do anything else. Does she do anything for you?


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## Young at Heart

skype said:


> I loved it when my husband had flowers delivered to my office, too. That was enough of a gift for me, along with going out to dinner, which you said is not pleasurable for her.
> 
> I would say she is not a gift person. Do not do anything else. Does she do anything for you?


I do the flowers almost every year and she likes the attention at work.

She is not much of a gift person. Yes, I have a number of things I do for her to create personal gift with meaning throughout the year, but am always looking for new ideas.

She does a lot for me, but it seldom involves presents. She is an act of service person with quality time being also important to her. Presents are at the bottom of her love languages along with touch.


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## Young at Heart

2ntnuf said:


> No idea what this site is. I just did a Google search and what I read seemed like it would be helpful. .


Thanks! I went to the website and looked at the article. They also had a number of other Valentines Day suggestions, as well. 

One of them triggered a memory of something we did a few years in a row, long ago. 

There is a flower show in town usually the week of Valentines Day and we use to go to it (maybe 20 years ago) and walk through the exhibits smelling the flowers and feeling like it was spring. It was always an uplifting experience.

I checked out some other websites and I belong to an organization that can get deeply discounted tickets to the flower show, so that sounds like a winner. 

Since it is just slightly before Valentines Day, I might take the tickets to the florist and have them include them with the flowers that will be delivered. That way it can all be a bundled surprise that she is not expecting and something to top all the other husbands who have flowers delivered.


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## Yeswecan

Young at Heart said:


> OK, Valentines Day is coming up. I have been married to my wife for over 40 years. I am 66 and my wife is 65. Two adult kids (out of the nest) and two grandchildren. My wife is LD, and I am HD, which is a source of friction in our marriage, but one we seem to have adjusted to and compromised one with the help of a sex therapist and marriage conseling several years ago.
> 
> My request is for suggestions on Valentines Day presents to give my wife, that will not hurt her feelings. Seriously. I have some thoughts, but they are getting pretty old and reptatative by now.
> 
> My wife will not wear lingerie and feels they are insulting to her. She has body self image problems. She is sexually inhibited. I have asked about couples massage or day at a spa with a massage, and she has yelled at me that she will not get naked or half-naked in front of another person for any reason. I have tried pedicure gift certificates and while she likes that, she is so a fraid of catching some disease, that past coupons have not been used. She will not do couples massage or dance classes. She will not go into a sex shop to look at anything. Just about every piece of clothing I have ever bought has either been returned or never worn.
> 
> She is concerned about her weight so chocolates, going out to a nice dinner, are not in the cards. *Cards are not in the cards as she things they are fake emotions.* She is also frugal, so expensive things are not desired, even though we can afford them.
> 
> Again, what I was hoping for was some suggestions on non food, non-expensive, non-any-hint of sexuality things I could give my wife for Valentines Day. I was hoping for some new ideas.
> 
> thanks.


Yes sir...things can get to be old hack. Cards appear superficial to me as well. I can see her point. However, the bold sentence in your post got me thinking. Sit down with pen and paper. Write your true feeling and thoughts about your W, marriage and future. Let you true self flow onto the paper. Share this with your W on Valentines day. This will beat any card, flower, dinner or sexy delicates you find.


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## 2ntnuf

I forgot to add, tell her at least what kind of outfit you want her to wear. I mean like semi-formal, casual, etc. If there is something you really like, just tell her you really like a particular outfit on her. If she needs something new, tell her, or take her where she likes to shop with enough time before.


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## Young at Heart

Yeswecan said:


> ...Sit down with pen and paper. Write your true feeling and thoughts about your W, marriage and future. Let you true self flow onto the paper. Share this with your W on Valentines day. This will beat any card, flower, dinner or sexy delicates you find.


Thanks for the idea.


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## Young at Heart

2ntnuf said:


> I forgot to add, tell her at least what kind of outfit you want her to wear. I mean like semi-formal, casual, etc. If there is something you really like, just tell her you really like a particular outfit on her. If she needs something new, tell her, or take her where she likes to shop with enough time before.


Each year after Thanksgiving and then at Christmas, we go clothes shopping for each other. She chooses outfits and I "pay" for them. Sometimes she will even ask me what i think, not often, but every now and then. So I will pass on taking her clothes shopping for Valentines Day. 

As to telling her what to wear, that could be a problem as she will be at her job during the day.

But thanks for the suggestion.


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## Age

Here is my list of ideas:
if you have kids or any other loved ones that she was close to
then you can get her personalized gifts with their photos. like mugs, shirts, mouse pads, etc..
Or even a dvd with the best family moments including pics & her favorite music/songs.

How does she read her books with an ipad or laptop?
*if she has an ipad or similar get her a lamp that attaches to it & a certificate to amazon. 
http://www.amazon.com/iKross-Clip-On-Reading-Readers-Smartphone/dp/B00BXX0QVQ
You said not to suggest food but if you offer her something from a vegan menu she won't have to worry about her weight nor catching anything these are healthy foods. Try raw vegan meals omg like the raw cheese cake LOVE IT! it has NO DAIRY 0% cholesterol it is super healthy but sooooooooooooooooooooooo very delicious! 
Make your own or order it (she isn't allergic to nuts?)
Raw Cheesecake for Beginners - {just 6 ingredients!}

A puppy! or a dog, or a cat/kitten. adopt one they come with shots & neutered/spayed they are the gift that keeps on giving.

Canvas, painting dvd & some acrylic paints. go to michaels arts & crafts store or to hobby lobby or to any of your local arts and crafts store.
Pothos house plants those help clean up the air indoors & are gorgeous to look at easy to take care of. You can find these for super cheap like 2$ I got a giant one for 5$ it is crawling all over my wall. Plants make me happy & the home look pretty.
http://www.gardenrant.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/11/25/golden_pothos.jpg

https://earthcafetogo.com/qr
A raw vegan pastries/food recipe book 

does she like antiques?
Take her to the antique stores to find a nice piece of furniture, jewelry or something that might catch her eye.


Music instrument
treadmill(u can find good bargains) since she worries about her weight/health but say it is for her health so she doesn't get the wrong idea.
Digital camera/camcorder (lots of low prices out there but read reviews/ratings before investing in one)

A book on how she can write her own novel/books

Juicer those are great for loosing weight & keeping healthy but consult a doctor cause some juices will lower blood pressure

Go to the natural food store if you have one near your area there are lots of good foods to try there that she might like that she won't have to worry about her weight.

scratch lotto tickets

She likes flowers then does she do gardening if not then get her a gardening book & some seeds/flowers. If you live in a city or townhouse you can also do indoor gardening it is awesome. 
or even grow herbs & your own foods oh it is so fun!
http://www.windowfarms.com/

giftcard to lowes gardening or bunch of flowers oh & a rose bush tree those are gorgeous!
There are free festivals you can attend maybe one of those. 

If she is religious maybe get her something religious. You can go to a religious store they have plenty of lovely things there too.
can you tell us a little more about her & about things u see her using that she enjoys.


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## Catherine602

Since she is an act of service and quality time person, can you find a volunteer activity that you can do together. It can be a one time thing or ongoing. tie it in to something she likes. Tell her that its a day to celebrate love and you love her so much that you want to share.


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## Plan 9 from OS

My wife and I don't celebrate V day. We go out on dates regularly, we go to musicals, symphonies when we want to and we don't link sex to special occasion days in any fashion. Sorry I'm not much help here...or was i? 

Hmmm....


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## Green Eyes

You said she's an acts of service person. Would she like you to make a coupon book with coupons she can redeem for you to do certain chores she normally does but doesn't care for? Fill her car with gasoline. Make the bed every morning for a week. Run the vacuum, that sort of thing.


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## Caribvistors

We are about the same age and I am also married for well over 40 years and I no longer buy my wife any special V-day gift/s, just a sincere card. We buy each other anything we want or need during the year and even get couple massages every month, so for we decided years ago to pass on V-day. She has said, she doesn't need a gift on that occasion to know that I love her.

I cannot offer any suggestions, other then a few already mentioned above that your wife might find to be appealing.

Reading your initial post, where you discuss her "issues" makes me realize again how fortunate I have been being married to my wife for all of these years. I wish you the best.


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## Young at Heart

Green Eyes said:


> ..... certain chores she normally does but doesn't care for? Fill her car with gasoline. Make the bed every morning for a week. Run the vacuum, that sort of thing.


Fill her car with gasoline.... Often do that anyway

Make the bed every morning for a week....actually do that just about every morning

Run the vacuum.......I do that every so often, she waits for the cleaners who come every other week.

Yes I do the dishes, take out the garbage & recycling, fix things, do some sweeping, do some cooking and grocery shopping....etc all without coupons.


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## 66impala

How about a one hour plane ride over the city you live in or close to. A cesna ride after sunset, even a bad city looks good from up above with all the lights lit.


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## Skate Daddy 9

Try etsy.com Most women like crafty items and they have all price ranges and because you buy it direct from the person who made it things are not marked up to bad. A friend of mine once made a list of why he married his wife and why his children should be looking for the same attributes in there future spouses. It was well received.


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## Young at Heart

66impala said:


> How about a one hour plane ride over the city you live in or close to. A cesna ride after sunset, even a bad city looks good from up above with all the lights lit.


Nice idea, but she really has a fear of flying. When we do travel by even big planes, she will grab my hand during take offs and landings and I am lucky if I regain feeling within a few days after the flight.


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## Young at Heart

Thought I would provide some feedback.

Once again, I just got through ordering flowers to be delivered to my W at work.

I also have tickets for two things next week. 

One event during the week is a flower & garden show. We use to do that 18 years ago, but stopped for no good reason. They have sun-lights that keep the plants alive. The flowers are usually in bloom and it smells and feels like stepping into a sunny spring day.

The second event is a travel lecture about a place that my wife has always dreamed to traveling to and has said that is the place she wants to travel to when she retires.

Thanks again for all the great suggestions. Hopefully someone else may benefit from the ideas as well.


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