# Antidepressants?



## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

My wife is on Celexa. She's been on it for about 4 months? Our problems started just under 3 months ago. 

Has anyone ever had a problem with their relationship / marriage and turned out to be medicine? 

I'm very concerned, now that I think about it I'm getting kinda nervous. She's made remarks (several times) when being upset and very down, about "crawling off to a hole and letting the world forget about her" This is something that's happened many times in the last 2 weeks or so of our arguing / talking. He actions fit along with it and now that I think of it, I'm worried she may get suicidal at times.


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

Dewayne76 said:


> My wife is on Celexa. She's been on it for about 4 months? Our problems started just under 3 months ago.
> 
> Has anyone ever had a problem with their relationship / marriage and turned out to be medicine?
> 
> I'm very concerned, now that I think about it I'm getting kinda nervous. She's made remarks (several times) when being upset and very down, about "crawling off to a hole and letting the world forget about her" This is something that's happened many times in the last 2 weeks or so of our arguing / talking. He actions fit along with it and now that I think of it, I'm worried she may get suicidal at times.


how old is your wife, i've been on celexa for 6 mos for depression(seratonin) & i feel pretty good on it. it helps me, maybe it's not her seratonin thats low, hormonal? younger patients fall under the suicide warning, maybe prozac is the best for her


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## how was your day? (Oct 10, 2012)

our vision shattered said:


> how old is your wife, i've been on celexa for 6 mos for depression(seratonin) & i feel pretty good on it. it helps me, maybe it's not her seratonin thats low, hormonal? younger patients fall under the suicide warning, maybe prozac is the best for her


my wife started chantix week later, shes gone


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

how was your day? said:


> my wife started chantix week later, shes gone


i've heard a ton of side effects from that pill inc psychotic episodes


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

She's 27. Acts immature a bit. 

She doesn't take medicine too well to be honest. She's had difficulties with many meds not functioning properly. Allergic to some meds completely. 

This is another reason why I worry. 

I talked to her tonight. She broke NC and asked where her keys were (Funny, she wasnt' suppose to be leaving tonight anywyas...??)

She agreed to call the Dr. and tell him all the problems that's started only a month or so after starting the pills. Maybe he can have some insight. EVERYONE says she's not the same person. Now that it's come to light, everyone thinks we need to take her back to the dr.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

I was on Celexa and Lamactal for Cyclothymic bipolar disorder. I tried to kill myself after about a month when it made me really really down and I couldn't cheer up. Turns out the "may cause suicidal thoughts" part of it turns out to be "will cause......" for alot of people. 

Needless to say if your wife is feeling depressed despite being on it, then it's time to take her to the doctr again. I don't care if she complains and you have to drag her kicking and screaming this is one thing that you cannot ignore. I've seen cases like yours where cheaters have killed themselves after loseing both people.

I would put her on a mood stabilizer pronto (like lamactal) and give her something to elevate her mood like wellbutrin or something similar. And then give her mood survey to see how she handles her moods throughout the day. She may very well be bipolar or BPD so your intervention could mean the difference between life and death as well as reconciliation or divorce for her. Plus helping her out like this mans big brownie ponts for you in the end.


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

Thanks Nsweet.

Yeah, I'm worried about the med's. My mom, dad, brother, all our friends, say she's not the same person and they say it's more than just the relationship woes. 

She contacted me last night about losing her keys. So I called. Conversation was professional. Then I brought up the meds. She calmly agreed. I said "What? So um, you agree that the med's could be bad for you and you want to go talk to the Dr.?" She said "Yeah, I'll call and make an appt."

Maybe we're on the right track? Dunno. She even said that she's been Very MOODY and can't understand why. She'll be great, happy with me and then BAM... toast. The dr. I talked to said it sounded like to him that she needs off the meds asap. 

I'm taking all the advice you guys are giving. Thank you so much. Nsweet, you're helping too. Tough love is what everyone needs at this point. 

I'm wising up. Getting stronger, Ijust don't wanna blow a fuse on the wrong cord and blow everything to he11. Just trying to be careful. I love this woman, and I think I should love her through her trials just as well and help her get through things. 

Thanks,

Dewayne


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

I'm glad you guys worke something out and she's agreed to see the doctor again. I remember waking up early and taking half a celexa before college. Before I could even get out the door I had to sit down and gather my stength. I ended up dropping out of college because of everything that was going on with my divorce and the Celexa draining the life out of me. That little half dose knocked me on my ass for at least 12 hours and took even more out of me to come off of. 

I'm thinking it's possible your wife may be bipolar or suffer from a disorder with similar symptoms like anxiety/depression in longer durations than stage 2 bipolar. The affairs and risky feel-good behavior dealing with sex, spending money, dieting.... all of that is a common sign. And now that she's been on Celexa and perfomed worse I think she might do better on a mood stabilizer daily taking a mood elevator with it when needed. 

Has your wife gained any weight recently or not been able to make herself at all? Eating patters are usually the fist things to change around times of anxiety or depression. 

And BTW I can't give you enough props for stepping up and being there for your wife at this time, making sure she get's seen by a psychiatrist for her depression. Believe it or not you really are making a difference and helping her. Even if you lose this battle and she does go through with the divorce (GOD forbid), what you're doing for her now is NOT what many other exes would do. And that along with a proper 180 will put you back in good graces should you ever want to reconcile later on...... which btw you have a good chance of having kids together and not being an assh*le to her in retaliation.


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

Update*

Well, she lied about the dr. appt. I went down there (since I was in the town the office is in) and they said they hadn't seen / heard from her since late July.

SO I told them what was going on and how moody she was and how she's done a 180* in attitude, everyone says she's not the same person..and they were like "We need to get her in here asap!" 

So I made an appt for tues at 3pm. She has to work now, conveniently. She appologized for telling me she made an appt. but swears she talked to them. B/s I say.But since... her attitude has improved a bit. When she shows up, she's nicer to me. When I'm around, she's not so tense. Yesterday, I didnt' get close to her at all. NEVER asked for a hug or anything. She asked me to hold her rings while she went to work, I said ok and she then kissed me on the cheek, said "I love you, be careful" and walked to the hearse. 

One of our "friends" that was a toxic enabler, is now her "bubby" they act like bro's and sister's now. But anywyas, I talked to him last night and he said she mentioned just the last day or so that "His attitude is much better, he's much easier to be around" or something to that affect. 

Don't know what to think of it, but I'm talking with my lawyer today. I have to get a new phone. Took last nites take from the haunt and getting things started. 

Maybe the med's are doing something, maybe they're not, but either way, I'm getting sick of being pushed and pulled in different directions. I'm also going to talk to DHS to find out how bad her endangering the child when she went to party would turn out for her.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

I'll tell you what you're doing..... 
You're f*cking up the "friend's" game plan of being the hero who rescues her from an abusive and control freak of a husband. In reality though, you both need rescuing from her. It sounds to me like she never been quite right and now she's playing the helpless damsel in distress. She's thrilled to have two big strapping men take care of her needs (cake eaters love this!) but in reality she's f*cking lazy. 
http://www.shrink4men.com/2012/03/0...-why-she-wont-be-different-with-the-next-guy/

I understand you want to help her but be on the look out for abusive behavior that you shouldn't be expected to put up with. To be honest with you I think the best approach would be to drag her down to the doctor, get her on meds, and present her with divorce papers and proof to the courts that she's in no shape to be taking care of her kids. Shock her with reality that she'll lose everything if she doesn't act like an adult and take responsibility.

BTW I know this is cold but there is no other way. If she get's dependent on your help she's going to divorce you like it's nothing and try to screw you with the legal system for pulling away. Get your sh!t together and slam her with an ultimatum...... get it together or lose custody and me, betch.


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

Went horrible last night. 

Thanks for the post btw bub.

Yeah, she's nuts. She hit on 2 of hte guys last night. One of them, was recorded with an iphone. I'm working on getting that video (only audio worth while) He acted like he was texting as she was talking. Said some guy was cute and wanted to know if he was single. Then the very guy that was recording it, said she hit on him later.. but unfortunately didn't have phone up. 

EVERYONE says shes not right. She's gotten worse. Believes only what she wants to believe. I told her a bit ago that I'm done trying to help her and be with her through this because I know somethin's wrong, but I can't do it anymore. 

Now she's blowing up my phone. With b/s like, how the bathroom is so messed up in haunt 1... and also wanting to "talk" about all this, cus I told her what I knew etc. NOW she wants to talk and NOW she's talking like she wants to spend time with JoJo. 

She's either playing it so she can use it as proof that she wants to see the kid for court, or she's getting scared cus I have her on tape now. Either way, I don't care. A man can only handle so much. My world is blown apart now, so I'm trying to rebuild it and I'm not letting liars and cheats help with it.


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## k12171976 (Dec 4, 2012)

I have been on Antidepressant,aniext meds and mood stabilzers for 10 yrs. I have been on every kind possible. I think the meds had a effect on the marriage.I think they did more harm than good. I am currently weaning off my meds under my drs supervision. It is going great and I am starting to feel like my "old " self. I like it and hopefully my husband will see that. He filed for D end of July.. I have BPD,depression.aniexty and PTSD.. I do think that mental illess or mental disordes i call them to have a negative impact on marriages. At least mine.


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

Thanks for the post K12. 

LIttle update since it's been bumped. Was cruising through the new posters and saw this. 

Well she's still not gone back to the dr. for more meds / AD's. After she moved in with her bro and we spent a few more weeks apart, she was claiming to be perfectly happy without me etc. Didn't want anything to do with me. Now? She's txting once or twice a week more about me watching Jordan. We're doing calls with the kiddo at night so we can talk to her, and we usually spend between 5 to 20 min's talking ourselves. We've also gone out last night. Had dinner and was a movie but the theater took the later show off so we missed teh 5:05 movie. She's warming up and she even grabbed my arm again and held my hand in the truck before dropping her off. 

Divorce is now just waiitng on the court date. 

I gave her the Ultimatum that you guys suggested. She took the Divorce route and ran. 

Now most of her "haunt" friends are gone. The other young girl is still her friend and so is R###, but R### moved 3 or 4 towns off as well as the OM. The young girl S### is still having home problems herself and living with other grandparents and can't go out much etc. So they spend less and less time together. 

So for the last month I don't know if it's the "being off the meds" or her friends dropping off radar, she's been slowly getting warmer. Not anywhere near canceling the D but she's seeming more like herself. Just a little more "free" acting. 

I truly believe the meds hurt our marriage and her health. Again, she's been off them for about 2 months now, give or take a week or two. She's acting much better, but decisions still solid. Which I'm coming to terms with.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Everyone else is gone.

You still stuck around.

She doesn't want to be alone.

Where else would she go?

If you're happy with that scenario.

Then honestly.

Good luck.


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

No, she's definitely not ALONE lol. 

She's got about 6 other friends now. I think the oldes is 23. The "boy" she's been hanigng out with is like.. 21? But I SWEAR you'd bet your wallet that he's no older than 13~!!! My mom picked her and JoJo up today to see some family. She dropped her off at the mall where her new 21yo friend picked them up... my mom said "My GOD son, he didn't look older than 12, he's half your height and 80lbs " lol.

Mom said she thought the stbx was acting much better. Said whoever she was back when the haunt was going on is definitely gone now. She said "I felt like I had my daughter in law back" I said "Yeup, for about 45 more days" lol. 

Still gets rough, but now it's just mourning the loss of the M and thinking about my baby girl. She's getting wiser and smarter. Asking questions now like "why is daddy gone?" 

But hey, reap what you sow. I'm a better man now and making more improvements. I feel good about who I'm becoming and know I'm a better father now. That's all that counts. 

TBH, I thought I was gonna have to take the AD road myself.


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