# Filed for Divorce



## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Filed for divorce yesterday. Had to ask for a restraining order today. I will be glad when this is all behind me.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

If there is a gal that ever needed a divorce it is you 👌

Some hard roads are worth the travel

If you are going to talk to the girl at work it would be best to try and hold off as long as you can. It will get spun against you … if you even care.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EB123 said:


> Filed for divorce yesterday. Had to ask for a restraining order today. I will be glad when this is all behind me.


It's a good step. No one should have to live in a house where they don't matter.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Some hard roads are worth the travel
> 
> If you are going to talk to the girl at work it would be best to try and hold off as long as you can. It will get spun against you … if you even care.


I say the same get the D 
and then when it is all over take your time to get over all, you will not be able to think clearly about relationships past and next for some time , I have seen some pick up with a new woman once they filed and said later it was a mistake , I know my sister turned off men for 15 years and then out of the blue found a guy that became like a brother to me , poor man got up one day showered and died suddenly he was dead before he hit the ground , left 2 young kids he was just 40


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Explains the hostility.
Good for you OP. I hope it’s a quick one.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> Filed for divorce yesterday. Had to ask for a restraining order today. I will be glad when this is all behind me.


I'm glad you're getting out. Be very careful even with the restraining order. Once you get one though the police do have to respond. But just beware because there are plenty of people who let their anger take over and ignore that piece of paper. So you need to get somewhere safe long enough he might cool down. Someplace he doesn't know of.

Sometimes there's a big delay before they are served especially if they are ducking the server. Any info on that?


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## So far so good (7 mo ago)

@EB123 I think it would be worthwhile to tell your story about what led you to divorce so to inspire other women in the same situation as you to get themselves out of this situation (I’m assuming you are divorcing him because of his violent tendencies)

A lot of people read these forms without posting


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I see you were previously married to a woman and had another attraction to a woman during your current marriage. Did this marriage confirm that you’d rather be with a woman?


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> I see you were previously married to a woman and had another attraction to a woman during your current marriage. Did this marriage confirm that you’d rather be with a woman?


That's an unexpected twist. Sounds like a good question, may help to focus things for future.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'm glad you're getting out. Be very careful even with the restraining order. Once you get one though the police do have to respond. But just beware because there are plenty of people who let their anger take over and ignore that piece of paper. So you need to get somewhere safe long enough he might cool down. Someplace he doesn't know of.
> 
> Sometimes there's a big delay before they are served especially if they are ducking the server. Any info on that?


Well, he’s the former head of the drug unit in this small town. And he’s currently the county coroner. He’s got a lot of connections. I have to be very selective with who I talk to. So I don’t know anything right now. But I fully expect a backlash when he is served.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> Well, he’s the former head of the drug unit in this small town. And he’s currently the county coroner. He’s got a lot of connections. I have to be very selective with who I talk to. So I don’t know anything right now. But I fully expect a backlash when he is served.


Nonetheless once the court issues that piece of paper the police have to respond if he breaks it so you be ready with a camera and also ready to record anything on the phone and save any messages obviously and you report it. He isn't a Leo anymore. You'd be surprised how quickly people move on. And you should also know that a lot of Leos do not approve of domestic violence or people who break the law so he may have a friend or two but they are not going to be representative of the whole.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

EB123 said:


> Well, he’s the former head of the drug unit in this small town. And he’s currently the county coroner. He’s got a lot of connections. I have to be very selective with who I talk to. So I don’t know anything right now. But I fully expect a backlash when he is served.


Then, if possible leave the town completely out of his pals jurisdiction. 
Also, I would get a conceal carry permit and get a gun. Practice, practice with it because you'll never know if your life will depend on it. It might sound drastic, but look at all the dead women, killed by their ex partners in a moment's rage.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Mr.Married said:


> If there is a gal that ever needed a divorce it is you 👌
> 
> Some hard roads are worth the travel
> 
> If you are going to talk to the girl at work it would be best to try and hold off as long as you can. It will get spun against you … if you even care.


Oh don’t worry. I have zero interest in getting into another relationship. After all I’ve been through these past few years, (spouse of 24 years passed, our teenage daughter died in a car accident a year before spouse died, and then this second marriage turned sour,) I think the single life will serve me just fine. But I’ll be honest, I miss my little family. My wife and daughter. (Yes, I’m a woman that was married to a woman. For inquiring minds. Sometimes I think I’m on the wrong forum 🤦🏼‍♀️. I get people so confused. Sorry if I do. Don’t mean to.)

But you know Mr.Married, something I’ve learned through all of this is that you have to give yourself plenty of time to grieve. I don’t think I did a good job of that. TMI- sorry. Just what’s on my mind today.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Rob_1 said:


> Then, if possible leave the town completely out of his pals jurisdiction.
> Also, I would get a conceal carry permit and get a gun. Practice, practice with it because you'll never know if your life will depend on it. It might sound drastic, but look at all the dead women, killed by their ex partners in a moment's rage.


I have a conceal carry permit and I own a gun. If I had to, I could defend myself. Just the feeling of having to look over your shoulder is a little unnerving but I’ll get use to it. And you are right, I may have to get away for a while. I’ve already been pulled over today by one of his buddies. Small town life sucks at times.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

RebuildingMe said:


> I see you were previously married to a woman and had another attraction to a woman during your current marriage. Did this marriage confirm that you’d rather be with a woman?


TBH, this marriage confirmed that I don’t want to be with anybody. I had a wonderful first marriage. It was just cut way too short.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

EB123 said:


> TBH, this marriage confirmed that I don’t want to be with anybody. I had a wonderful first marriage. It was just cut way too short.


I can understand that.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

EB123 said:


> I’ve already been pulled over today by one of his buddies.


Document this. Where, who, date and time. If it happens again then you go to the state authorities and put a claim against the town police department and him. In the county he might have some acquaintances, so the state is better.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Keep your phone handy and you don't have to let them see you recording it but you can start recording it when they first pull you over by taking a photo behind you in the rear view mirror if necessary. 

You need to either know that guy's name or get the badge number. 

Also what did he say he was pulling you over for and did he ticket you?

If it were me I would go ahead and call whoever issued you the restraining order and let them know that that is already happened and that it was one of his buddies in case there's any thing else they can put on there to prevent that.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You might want to stay just outside the county for a while and just drive in for work. Someplace where anyone that came in would have to go through a lobby. Or maybe an Airbnb that isn't an obvious Airbnb that everyone knows is one.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Keep your phone handy and you don't have to let them see you recording it but you can start recording it when they first pull you over by taking a photo behind you in the rear view mirror if necessary.
> 
> You need to either know that guy's name or get the badge number.
> 
> ...


I have the officer’s name. He’s friends with the soon to be ex husband. He pulled me over for “weaving.” I didn’t get a ticket.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> I have the officer’s name. He’s friends with the soon to be ex husband. He pulled me over for “weaving.” I didn’t get a ticket.


Keep every kind of record of it you can. And I would definitely mention it to whoever signed the RO. Just tell them the ink wasn't even dry and already one of his buddies pulled me over. Of course, if it happens again, that's more credible, but I don't believe in coincidences and I doubt most people ordering ROs do either, but they are still constrained by the letter of the law.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Do you have any security cameras up or Ring doorbells? They aren't that expensive. The stickup cams are portable and rechargeable battery. The doorbell is more trouble to install.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

I left my house. I knew he wouldn’t move out without a major fight, so I left. I’m staying about 25 minutes from him at my pond house. Basically it’s a small cabin on the water that’s located on a farm I own. Its gated off from the main road and I changed the code. I have what we call “deer cameras” located around here but no cameras on the cabin. I probably need to invest in something better.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EB123 said:


> I left my house. I knew he wouldn’t move out without a major fight, so I left. I’m staying about 25 minutes from him at my pond house. Basically it’s a small cabin on the water that’s located on a farm I own. Its gated off from the main road and I changed the code. I have what we call “deer cameras” located around here but no cameras on the cabin. I probably need to invest in something better.


I’m so sorry, what a POS. I’m glad you have a gun. Keep it close and keep careful records.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Do you have any security cameras up or Ring doorbells? They aren't that expensive. The stickup cams are portable and rechargeable battery. The doorbell is more trouble to install.


I left my house. I knew he wouldn’t move out without a major fight, so I left. I’m staying about 25 minutes from him at my pond house. Basically it’s a small cabin on the water that’s located on a farm I own. Its gated off from the main road and I changed the code. I have what we call “deer cameras” located around here but no cameras on the cabin. I probably need to invest in something better.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I’m so sorry, what a POS. I’m glad you have a gun. Keep it close and keep careful records.


Absolutely.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> I left my house. I knew he wouldn’t move out without a major fight, so I left. I’m staying about 25 minutes from him at my pond house. Basically it’s a small cabin on the water that’s located on a farm I own. Its gated off from the main road and I changed the code. I have what we call “deer cameras” located around here but no cameras on the cabin. I probably need to invest in something better.


I hope you are armed because that sounds isolated. And sounds like he knows that's where you'll be. Do you have a watch dog that would alert if someone came around?

You would probably be safer in amongst people just at least this first week in case he goes off. Do you have any close neighbors there?


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I hope you are armed because that sounds isolated. And sounds like he knows that's where you'll be. Do you have a watch dog that would alert if someone came around?


I do.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I hope you are armed because that sounds isolated. And sounds like he knows that's where you'll be. Do you have a watch dog that would alert if someone came around?
> 
> You would probably be safer in amongst people just at least this first week in case he goes off. Do you have any close neighbors there?
> [/QUOTE
> ...


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I will tell you a couple of little things you can do with just clear fishing line. Go to a hardware store and buy any type of bells, cowbells, little bells, whatever. If there's a place that is more vulnerable at your home there you can put a bell on some line and attached it to the house and then to a fence or across the yard or porch or whatever. No one will notice it at all. It will make a racket if someone barges through there. The dogs will go nuts. You can also do that to the inside of your windows if you want. No one is looking for that like they will be security cameras. Of course, anyone can jump a fence and break a window and get in. Just be sure you hear it. And also be careful when you are coming home from work in case he might be in there hiding and waiting. 

Another thing you can do with just rope, depending how your doors to your rooms are sitting, you can run a double slipknot around one door knob to another doorknob and tighten it just right and no one can come in from the other direction. I did that at a rent house after a guy broke in my back door and stole stuff one time. Just to seal off one point of entry. If you have window sills inside you can also put utensils and metal pots, etc. on the sill so if someone tries to come in that window you will hear them. I actually did that at my first rent house and police with a helmet came in and got hit with them. They were in the wrong house. I did it there because the windows didn't lock at all.

Lots of little things you can do, but setting up some stickup cams (about $60 each) which can go indoor or out (you set them accordingly) and just setting them to detect movement you can see from work or anywhere is good. And it's good at night to be able to see (nightvision comes on those) right away what is outside. When you're using them a lot, you'd need to charge them pretty regularly (like you do a phone), like maybe even every day. I have it where my doorbell is hardwired, so no charging, but then these others aren't on when I'm home, but yours should be. You'd be best off in among people, though, simply because if he's going to go berzerk, this is the most likely time, this next week or two. And when someone is berzerk, they aren't paying attention to whether they get caught that much because they just lose their rationality and are acting on impulse. 

I hope he just sulls up and stays away, of course, but he's lost it before, so. . .

Have you checked with whoever issued the RO to find out if he's allowed to have a weapon while he is under restraining order? Because some places, they are not. But you'd have to let them know he has one.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

That's good. Just having some activity and maybe some extra cars there should be offputting to him.

Has he ever in the past shown any tendency toward stalking you or anyone else that you know of? Some people lean toward spying on others or during breakups, checking up on them, etc. I hope he's not that way. He'd be likelier to just let it go.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I will tell you a couple of little things you can do with just clear fishing line. Go to a hardware store and buy any type of bells, cowbells, little bells, whatever. If there's a place that is more vulnerable at your home there you can put a bell on some line and attached it to the house and then to a fence or across the yard or porch or whatever. No one will notice it at all. It will make a racket if someone barges through there. The dogs will go nuts. You can also do that to the inside of your windows if you want. No one is looking for that like they will be security cameras. Of course, anyone can jump a fence and break a window and get in. Just be sure you hear it. And also be careful when you are coming home from work in case he might be in there hiding and waiting.
> 
> Another thing you can do with just rope, depending how your doors to your rooms are sitting, you can run a double slipknot around one door knob to another doorknob and tighten it just right and no one can come in from the other direction. I did that at a rent house after a guy broke in my back door and stole stuff one time. Just to seal off one point of entry. If you have window sills inside you can also put utensils and metal pots, etc. on the sill so if someone tries to come in that window you will hear them. I actually did that at my first rent house and police with a helmet came in and got hit with them. They were in the wrong house. I did it there because the windows didn't lock at all.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the tips. I’ll have to try these. 
I’ll have to check with the judge on the RO and handgun issue.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's good. Just having some activity and maybe some extra cars there should be offputting to him.
> 
> Has he ever in the past shown any tendency toward stalking you or anyone else that you know of? Some people lean toward spying on others or during breakups, checking up on them, etc. I hope he's not that way. He'd be likelier to just let it go.


He’s kept track of where I go and what I do.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> He’s kept track of where I go and what I do.


That's not good. The stalker types have a higher potential for being dangerous, and we already know he is, so that's not good. I just hope it doesn't go on long.

He isn't on your phone account or you on his, right? If so, you'll have to get a new account. Any chance he has a tracker on your car?


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's not good. The stalker types have a higher potential for being dangerous, and we already know he is, so that's not good. I just hope it doesn't go on long.
> 
> He isn't on your phone account or you on his, right? If so, you'll have to get a new account. Any chance he has a tracker on your car?


No my phone goes through the business account that I own. I don’t know if he has a tracker on my suv or not. Never thought about that.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> No my phone goes through the business account that I own. I don’t know if he has a tracker on my suv or not. Never thought about that.


Someone on this forum might be willing to tell you what they look like, where to look for them on your vehicle. You might make a thread asking that. I know some of them know.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Better yet, here is a video showing what to look for, how to find it on your vehicle. 





__





video how to find a tracker on my car - Google Search






www.google.com


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

By the way, if you do find a tracker, it's illegal for him to have done that without your consent so you would want to report that. Preserve fingerprints.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> By the way, if you do find a tracker, it's illegal for him to have done that without your consent so you would want to report that. Preserve fingerprints.


Okay I’ll look and see what I find.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> Okay I’ll look and see what I find.


If he doesn't have a tracker on your car, that's good news because a lot of guys are sneaking around and doing that now.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

RebuildingMe said:


> 33% of the posts. Good grief.


I don’t understand?


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

EB123 said:


> I don’t understand?


Just ignore, it’s not aimed at you.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I'm checking on you. I know your folks were coming in town, but just wanted to make sure you're safe.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'm checking on you. I know your folks were coming in town, but just wanted to make sure you're safe.


Thanks for checking on me. I’m okay. Looked and there’s no tracker so that’s good.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> Thanks for checking on me. I’m okay. Looked and there’s no tracker so that’s good.


Good! So hopefully that means he's not real fanatical. Thanks for checking in.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

EB123 said:


> I have the officer’s name. He’s friends with the soon to be ex husband. He pulled me over for “weaving.” I didn’t get a ticket.


Were you weaving?
This was no coincidence I doubt. A lot of cops think they are above the law. I tangled with one once. 
I turned his ass in. I called back the day after and told chief of police to take action or he’d be reading about it in the local newspaper. I ended up going down and giving a statement. He got suspended.
They count on people not taking action.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EB123 said:


> Thanks for checking on me. I’m okay. Looked and there’s no tracker so that’s good.


Keep us posted. 😍


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

@EB123, how are you today?


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

TexasMom1216 said:


> @EB123, how are you today?


I’ve been better. I pulled out of the drive this am and he was sitting across the road in his truck. Followed me to town. He still hasn’t been served the RO yet. I called the judges office and told them he is following me and I need either a temporary RO NOW, or get the original one done. Said they’d work on it.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EB123 said:


> I’ve been better. I pulled out of the drive this am and he was sitting across the road in his truck. Followed me to town. He still hasn’t been served the RO yet. I called the judges office and told them he is following me and I need either a temporary RO NOW, or get the original one done. Said they’d work on it.


Are you carrying?


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Are you carrying?


Yes I am.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EB123 said:


> Yes I am.


Be safe. I’ll be thinking of you.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> I’ve been better. I pulled out of the drive this am and he was sitting across the road in his truck. Followed me to town. He still hasn’t been served the RO yet. I called the judges office and told them he is following me and I need either a temporary RO NOW, or get the original one done. Said they’d work on it.


Don't know how I missed this. It often takes a long time to serve if they are evading, and many do evade. Being it's a small town, they may get the sheriff office to serve it. Usually it's just a notary/server who serves them.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

When a friend of mine had trouble getting her husband served (not for RO but divorce), after a few tries of her husband not answering the door because he is just a recluse, the son finally just handed it to him.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB, are you okay? Did he ever get served?


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

DownByTheRiver said:


> EB, are you okay? Did he ever get served?


I’m okay. He did get served.


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