# Does your spouse/partner like to kiss?



## hubbys baby (May 26, 2009)

Hi all,

I know this may see to be a silly question, just curious to know if anyone has spouses/partners that really aren't into kissing.

My husband kisses me very rarely, Its not his favorite thing and never has been, I on the other hand love it when we kiss, but anyways just curious about others.

Thanks


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## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

Don't worry I have the same problem but my wife is the one she calls it spit swapping and does not take to it at all. Talk about being disconnected.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

My wife isn't much of a kisser either...even during sex she doesn't like to kiss much for some reason.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i love kissing - can only speak for myself.


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## hubbys baby (May 26, 2009)

thanks for replying....i was just kind of curious.....i don't write much or ask questions much on the site, but i do read a lot of the posts....i'm learning some things anyways....


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

I think some people just aren't into kissing.

I love kissing, but sadly, not my husband. I just don't like the way he kisses and years of "re-training" have done nothing. His lips/saliva just don't taste good to me and that's just basic body chemistry. 

He thinks I'm just not into kissing.


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## 4oneone (Jun 11, 2009)

That is a thought


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

I'm with Rhett Butler on this one.

"You should be kissed, and often. And by someone who knows how."


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## CherishMe (Jun 29, 2009)

My husband isn't a big fan. He doesn't all-out refuse, but I rarely get a kiss unless I make it a point to get it myself. Oh well.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I love to kiss--but never loved to kiss my husband and quit doing so about 5 years ago. Not a good sign, if you ask me. Please ask your spouse if he just doesn't like the way you kiss--and then work on it, together, if so. 

Some people have naturally shorter tongues and I think this makes good kissing harder, but not impossible. I've "investigated" in my past and anyone can be a better kisser, with practice.


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## cone (Aug 6, 2008)

My wife loves to kiss and I love to kiss... and we love to kiss each other. Could do it for hours...


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## cao428 (Jun 26, 2008)

I love kissing and my husband doesn't kiss me any more...something I really miss. To me it's a real turn-on and so sensual. He has some dental issues and says it's due to that, yet he has no problem eating a steak so I think it's just an excuse. It's been ever since his EA.


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## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

Me and my wife could spend hours kissing. We both enjoy each others kiss. My wife has a short tongue and did not have a clue on french kissing. Now with some coaching from me. She is now hot lips. I guess that was one of the things that she enjoyed most when we where dating was my kiss. Said it would make her melt...lol 
Oh wait!! she just said it still does....

:lol:


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Well we've been kissing for 27 years. Me kissing my dh really turns him on and the more we do it the more "heated" things become. Was that way from the beginning and still remains; sex is the same way....when we get the chance. Intensity has never slacked, and we are pretty amazed at this, because well, you read so much about sex becoming boring or whatever, and it just hasn't! I guess we are just very sexually compatible.


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## XiaSulin (Jul 5, 2009)

Me and my spouse do not kiss. We kiss lightly but never on the lips, neither of us are into the tongues in the mouth touching ordeal. It's just slimy to us which makes it easier, because I remember us both being apprehensive about the other being into that sorta thing.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

rarely do we kiss, contact of any kind is rare


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Sandy -- excellent!

Xia -- it may be due to your circumstances

OK -- kissing is the easiest "foreplay" you can do...and is so satisfying (short of orgasm)! 

I love to kiss, snuggle, cuddle, flirt, play with my SO. It's all a way to say to your SO that you love them.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

dcrim said:


> Sandy -- excellent!.......
> 
> I love to kiss, snuggle, cuddle, flirt, play with my SO. It's all a way to say to your SO that you love them.


That it is, dcrim, that it is.


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## AloneEmotionally (Jan 6, 2010)

I am a man married to a woman who hates to kiss. The problem for me is that even though i kind of knew going in (I think she pretended to like it a bit more than she did) I knew that she was a generally unaffectionate person. The mistake I made is in thinking that I could change her. I cant. She will kiss me during sex out of obligation because she knows I will not have sex with her without kissing. But thats it. When she gives me a kiss goodbye in the morning I might as well be kissing a stone.

Its not just the kissing - she doenst really do any kind of affection. So I have to go on faith that she loves me when in reality my brain is telling me that she not only doesnt love me, but finds me repulsive in some way.

I never had this experience with any prior girlfriends and am considered a rather good looking guy, but my self esteem is at an all time low and I am battling a daily depression because of it.

We have been married for almost 15 years and have 2 wonderful boys that we love and adore. We get along fine in just about every other way, but the lack of affection in my life is driving me into a very dark place. At age 43 I am looking at the rest of my life with someone who will never make me feel the way I need to feel and its awfully depressing. 

Usually im nervous on airplanes but lately ive had thoughts that "well if anything happens I really dont care". If I die I die. 

Its sad, but thats where I am at emotionally. Ive talked to her about it and she has acknowledged it, but her response is "I guess I have to try to meet you halfway somehow". Halfway would be nice. She hasnt done that (other than an occasional back scratch at night which although its like throwing bread to a starving man, isnt really sustaining in any kind of way).

Im trying...I would warn anyone not yet married that if you think someone who is unaffectionate is going to change, its unlikely they will. My wife has very unaffectionate parents who do love her very much and she just doesnt understand the need people have for displays of affection. She has no use for it and is uncomfortable with it. If you know affection and kissing is something you need, do not rationalize it away even if you think someone is perfect in every other way (which is what I did). You will end up depressed and resentful (like me).


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## triton1984 (Nov 20, 2009)

The wife and I often embarass our children by the frequency and intensity of our kissing. I believe there is something to body chemistry, there were other girls in High School I found more physically attractive but when we started dating and I kissed her I became hooked by her taste and scent. We've been together 26 years and we still "make out".


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## AloneEmotionally (Jan 6, 2010)

triton1984 said:


> The wife and I often embarass our children by the frequency and intensity of our kissing. I believe there is something to body chemistry, there were other girls in High School I found more physically attractive but when we started dating and I kissed her I became hooked by her taste and scent. We've been together 26 years and we still "make out".


I am literally green with envy.


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

Hubby baby, I'm in the same boat as you.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

We (outside of bed) dont kiss all that much, peck hello/goodbye/goodnight.

During sex? Her on top, making out hard with eyes open!!


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## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

i love kissing, especially when she's on top of me riding me i wrap my arms around her back forcing her down and kissing her passionately


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## Choose2love (Jul 28, 2009)

My husband doesnt like to kiss either. He went so far as to wipe his mouth area off after a minute of kissing once. We rarely kiss on the rare occassions we have sex... BUT he HAS to have a goodbye obligatory quick kiss in the morning.


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## Me'N'My'Girl (Jan 10, 2010)

i love kissing but my husband gets totally put off by it . he never uses his tongue and has also wiped his mouth area after kissing many times. he holds his breath while kissing and then looks away to catch his breath ?! he says he's not used to feel someones breath so close to his.not even his wife!! recently i told him why dont u use your tongue and he replied with a shell shocked face "do people use thier tongues?? eww!!" duuhhh!!!

you can imagine how happy i am


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## Me'N'My'Girl (Jan 10, 2010)

oh forgot to add...we never kiss anymore ...not even on the rare occasions that we have sex...

talk about him going down on me !! :'(


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## russ101 (Jan 8, 2010)

I feel for all of the people who love to kiss, and who have partners who don't. My wife and I used to kiss during sex (she would kiss me and use her tongue all over my body) all the time, but not during the course of the day. About 5 years ago, she told me she didn't want to kiss me anymore during sex (or any other time since that was the only time we ever kissed!). At first she said it was my breath, but after I said I would use mouth wash etc., she just said I don't know why, but I just don't want to kiss anymore. Ever since then, our sex life has gone down hill. We now only have it once or twice a month, and she wants it to be very quick (5-8 minutes max) and she just lies there until I am done. It has become so bad, I rarely ask her for it anymore. She has told me that if I want to kiss other women (kiss only) that she is ok with that (I really doubt she would be ok with it) since she won't kiss me and I have done so on one occassion, but felt guilty afterwards even though I had her permission. I never told her, because she wouldn't want to know. I really love kissing, and I miss that part of our relationship.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

As a matter of fact, my husband and I had a 20 minute make out session last night! We love to kiss!


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## Choose2love (Jul 28, 2009)

russ101, it stinks that so many of us have these issues. I feel for you man.


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## russ101 (Jan 8, 2010)

Choose2love,

I feel for you too. It sucks when someone who loves to kiss has a partner that doesn't. To me its an intregal part of sex. She will put her arms around me at night in bed and likes to cuddle, but I just lay there now when she does that (didn't used to), she now is asking me why I don't hug her back. I just say I don't know why (her answer to me) because I think to myself, if you don't care what is important to me, why should I care what is important to you?


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

I enjoy it. My wife is kinda hit or miss. Sometimes she's really into it, most others I get an OK kiss, but nothing like when we were dating.


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## spritza (Feb 16, 2010)

mmmmm. in my opinion, I stopped kissing my husband when I realised I no longer desired him. He has taken the hint and doesn't even try to "kiss" me. I say "kiss" as he will still insist on a lips only kiss in front of the kids (an image thing I guess). to me a "kiss" is a full on open mouth including tongue kiss. I love it and it turns me on like crazy, but no longer want to do it with my husband. yes, divorce is coming.....


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

i used to love to kiss my guy.. but lately.. mmm a really hot kiss before work i enjoyed now he complains that i get him going and then leave...? i have to work so what i can only kiss when want sex? and then i also don't like he is growing a mustage and don't keep it well trimmed and i don't like it going up my nose... so i have just let it go a quick lip peck and off to work.....


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## Brettscout (Jan 19, 2010)

My wife loves to be kissed and made out with...in fact...if I want to get her turned on and in the mood...all I have to do is make out with her for a few minutes...or if I want her to have "seconds"...then I just need to kiss her passionatly for a bit.

As for me..I dont mind it...its ok..but I enjoy it becuase I can get her turned on with it.


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## goincrazy (Feb 20, 2010)

AloneEmotionally said:


> I am literally green with envy.


Me too! Sounds like a dream come true to be together for so many years and still have that chemistry.

I miss kissing so much! The thought of never having a passionate kiss for the rest of my life is really depressing.


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## lost2010 (Feb 26, 2010)

My husband LOVES to kiss. I don't like to so much. I'm not completely against it or anything, and in the heat of passion I would enjoy it- BUT when it comes to kissing my husband he has a very VERY sloppy kiss... I don't like it like that, so I am less into kissing now then I was before...


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## Needy_Wife (Mar 10, 2010)

I don't kiss H too often. (I try to avoid it at all costs) He always has really bad breath. I cringe at the smell of his mouth...and have even gagged (He is a smoker). I just told him that I am not into kissing. I used to hint to him with buying super strong mouth wash, or different tooth pastes, but nothing has really worked. I already have a VERY strong sense of smell...so I think I am doomed. I don't mind pecks...in fact I love to give him a quick kiss, but the second he opens his mouth, I pull away.


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## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

Needy_Wife said:


> I don't kiss H too often. (I try to avoid it at all costs) He always has really bad breath. I cringe at the smell of his mouth...and have even gagged (He is a smoker). I just told him that I am not into kissing. I used to hint to him with buying super strong mouth wash, or different tooth pastes, but nothing has really worked. I already have a VERY strong sense of smell...so I think I am doomed. I don't mind pecks...in fact I love to give him a quick kiss, but the second he opens his mouth, I pull away.


Oh my god I so identify - thankfully my man brushes teeth, uses cologne, etc., quite frequently & so bedtime, or when we're going out, he's fresh & tasty. After the very first puff, though.....UGGGHHHH. My main bugbear with this is that it kills spontaneity. I've tried explaining that yes, I would kiss him far more but how can I be expected to enjoy suddenly snuggling up to give him a great big smackeroo if there's a good chance he's just lit up, or just finished one, or his fingers stink, etc etc. And for any smokers about to answer, yes I do love him and want to kiss him I do NOT love his smoke habit and I feel it plays a part in killing our sex life. So there!


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## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

Haha... my husband kissed me on the forehead the other day like Im his daughter! His idea of making out... a peck on the lips maybe 2 times. He used to love it. He actually wiped his mouth off once when we were kissing during sex.... oh but he claims he is still wanting me:rofl:


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## Jdack (Dec 3, 2009)

We did kiss many years ago, but when our relationship deteriorated over a few years and sex was not good anymore, we stopped kissing intimately (open mouth/tongue) and was more of a closed lip kiss and little peck when leaving for the day, sort of thing. We rejuvinated our marriage/sex recently and it was hard getting back into it again, almost strange and awkward, but it has been a few months of kissing again and just had to make an effort in order to re-connect again and now seems normal again.


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## fixit62 (Jul 11, 2010)

Our problem is that I love to kiss, openly and passionately with all the softness and wetness that makes it so intimate and erotic. She finds it a turn off, especially tounges and saliva. I really need that for the passion. Does she not feel passionately for me? What dod I do to bring her to that level of passion again? We have been married for 27 years and I love her. But, I am afraid I won't be able to stay in love and want her if we can't connect this way. I know it may sound selfish on my part, but I just being honest with myself. Any ideas??


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## AmorousWarrior (Jul 6, 2010)

I love it too. She's not a big fan unless she's super horny which is rare. Funny though because she said that the first thing that attracted her to me was my lips. She says that she still thinks their pretty amazing, but I'm confused as to why she kisses me without any passion.


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## fixit62 (Jul 11, 2010)

Am I putting too much emphasis on the kissing part? The rest of the intimacy is pretty good. Am I expecting too much for the passion to still be at a high level after all these years? I know if that part is better, then everything will feel right.


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## AmorousWarrior (Jul 6, 2010)

I don't think that you are. IMHO kissing is an integral part of intimacy. I am still very much turned on by my wife so I think that passion changes but it doesn't subside. In the beginning it was more like an inferno, but now it's smoldering. Or at least it should be.


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## fixit62 (Jul 11, 2010)

Yes, I agree at first it was like an inferno, and maybe that is my problem....I want us to feel some of that again, at least occasionally. I have tried talking to her about it, but it just angers and frustrates her. She tells me that she is the way she is and if I don't like the way she kisses, then I must just want somebody else. That is not true, I just want us to feel in love and be close again. Kissing passionately gives that "in love" feeling everytime you do it, if its done with feeling.


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## Nine-E (Oct 7, 2008)

My wife hates kissing. After 20 years of marriage she finally admitted that it was my breath, and she bought me some medicated mouth wash. I used it twice a day for weeks and still no kissing. Eventually she said that kissing just isn't something she cares about. And that's that. 

For me, kissing is the most intimate non-sexual act there is. It is SUCH a turn on. My heart is beating faster right now just thinking about it, and it brings me to tears knowing I married someone who couldn't care less.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

Nine-E said:


> My wife hates kissing. After 20 years of marriage she finally admitted that it was my breath, and she bought me some medicated mouth wash. I used it twice a day for weeks and still no kissing. Eventually she said that kissing just isn't something she cares about. And that's that.
> 
> For me, kissing is the most intimate non-sexual act there is. It is SUCH a turn on. My heart is beating faster right now just thinking about it, and it brings me to tears knowing I married someone who couldn't care less.


whadda bunch of crap....by yer W that is. just like many other excuses we hear in public, here at TAM, or in our own lives/rel'shps.

pls see the above-underlined quotes. they are excuses n lies.
too many a spouse has to put up w/ these because of their acceptance of marriage = commitment. i am all for commitment folks but, not a any price which includes a deadbeat, lazy, cheating(?) spouse. once u've truly exhausted all means, u do have the option to dissolve the marriage or suffer yer mate-fate.

i detest unloving folk who hold back loving folk, if u no wat i mean.


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## fixit62 (Jul 11, 2010)

AloneEmotionally said:


> I am a man married to a woman who hates to kiss. The problem for me is that even though i kind of knew going in (I think she pretended to like it a bit more than she did) I knew that she was a generally unaffectionate person. The mistake I made is in thinking that I could change her. I cant. She will kiss me during sex out of obligation because she knows I will not have sex with her without kissing. But thats it. When she gives me a kiss goodbye in the morning I might as well be kissing a stone.
> 
> Its not just the kissing - she doenst really do any kind of affection. So I have to go on faith that she loves me when in reality my brain is telling me that she not only doesnt love me, but finds me repulsive in some way.
> 
> ...


Wow, it is hard for me to hear someone just like me. I could have wrote this. This is EXACTLY my life. So, tell me, anyone, do I leave or keep suffering?


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