# last chance to keep it good



## ycats (Apr 17, 2011)

I have just recently moved to the US from the UK to join my Family. We have been together two and a half years. I love my wife and baby more than any thing in the world. We have always got along like a house on fire. One time just befor I got here last December we had had a row on the phone it was a stressul time as we were dealing with a visa issue that went wrong, over the telephone. With in a week of geting here my wife became pregnant. I couldent start a job till I got my resident card and social security number then I did my driving test all this took nearly 2 months by which time we were not geting along very well. I was unintentionally progressively verbally abusing her, I never meant to do any of this. She had warn'ed me on a number of occasions that if this went on it would be the end of us but I dident realise what she was saying, I should have listened. She lost the baby being 12 weeks pregnant two weeks ago, we broke up 4 weeks befor this she also told me befor this happened that i she lost the baby she would never forgive me. All of this has been a total culture shock to me, with out realising she is the one that has been hurt. On the Sunday befor we had our final argument we went to a Christian Church it was one of the nice'est days together, I go every week now, she has missed a couple of weeks due to the miscarriage and this week due to baby not feeling well but my wife says otherwise that she and the baby will go with me every week. The Church have helped me get back on my feet they have provided counceling for me which I pay for but cant afford or much longer as it costs a lot of money compared to back home in the UK were its mostly free. They have got me my part time jobs also, they dont pay much but its a start as I am looking ofr a better job and am able to support my wife and baby. My wife is letting me use her vehicle so I can work my jobs, she also provides me with a cell phone from her account. I have temp moved out and stay with her Mom next door. My wife is going to move into a new place with her Dad, he is in the process off buying a place now, he is seaprated from his wife here Mom the past few years, he cheated on her. Once she moves in with him I wont get to see the baby only 3 or 4 times a week, I am dredding that happening, as right now I see the baby every day, I dont want that to change but i accept and respect her wishes. I am always going to be here to support and provide for my child. I want to do the same for my wife, I love her so much, she dosent have much and is a great Mom I know the baby means everything to her. She says we will not get back together and that she is finished with me. She no longer wears her wedding ring and gave me most of all the things we had back. She says I can move into her place once she moves out, its not such a big place, we were going to get a new place together befor all this happened. I am heart broken. I now realise as some time has passed that I have to get my self back on track what ever happens in the future. I have gone through a mid life chrisis if you want to call it that but my wife wont talk to me about anything any more thats between us, except our Baby. Makes me feel like theres an other person involved but im sure there is not. I dont know were to start as far as we are both conserned but I dont want a divorce I am prepard to do what ever it takes to put this right. Her folks told me at first they wanted me to go home, I got advice and was told so long as I dident break the law I could stay. Then they said I had to get my own vehicle, I had to get my Family to send me some money and since things have eased off I still am looking for a car but I wish I could use the money for my wife and babys future. Its only 3000 dollars. I went and paid a debt for her the other week thinking I had more only to find out I dident, never sent me as much as they said they would but I still have 2000 left. I will wait till I find something cheap to run and my wife is ok about taking time so I dont get sold a lemon. I feel this is all my fault. Since reading posts on here from from other women it has made me realise how inconsiderate I have been, I feel totaly shocked about the whole thing after reading one story about a women and what her and her kids are going through on this site just now. I know too I must not dwell on were I have gone wrong but more so on how I can go right. This is the first time I have been married, I have never had children befor so a lot is new to me. I belive I am a good person and I only want the best for the Future. Please can you offer any good advice? do you think I have taken this one step too far in the fact that we may not get back to gether again either way what ever happens I have to make sure I do the right things so this cant happen ever again. After being with her this evening we had a heated talk, she told me that cant happen otherwise she will stop me from seeing the baby. I realy dont want to say anything that will annoy her again or i may end up in a lot of trouble. what should i do to prevent this from happening, I am trying my best but its easier said than done. Thank you


----------

