# Need mens advice.. DESPERATE FOR HELP



## ms.beesknees (Sep 26, 2012)

Hi all,
So I am desperate for some advice here. My hubby and I have been together about 4 years and married in Jan. About 3 weeks later he had to leave for a job ( he is in film) and we both agreed to the sacrifice because it was a great opportunity for him, and good for us financially. The job was supposed to be 6 months, and due to schedules, our childs school sched, etc we only saw eachother like 4 times, and 6 months became almost 8. When he first left we missed eachother like crazy, but toward the end of the job when he got home it was almost awkward. We sat down to talk a few weeks ago and he says to me "he dosent feel like he loves me any more". I was dumbfounded. We just got married!!!
He says he felt I neglected the house (nothings wrong with it, and it is very clean) and accuses me of ruining his credit by not sending him the bills every day (yet he has not actually checked his score-)hes just projecting fear for some reason. He is totally disconnected from me, and does not understand why. I feel that we disconnected a bit due to distance, etc. Texting is not enough to sustain a marriage, but I love him and think we just need to spend time together, and try to remember how we felt in Jan. I am starting to wonder if he could be depressed. He has all the symptoms of it, but if I bring it up he will probably not believe me. I dont know what to do. Any advice is truly appreciated. This is eating me up inside..


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

This is a common phenomenon experienced by married deployed troops. As much as you miss your spouse, it is awkward entering and leaving the relationship. The good news is that if you and hubby can keep this thing together, you'll have a very strong marriage, tested in ways very few couples ever know. The military gives us opportunities for couples retreats, counseling, etc. 
There's got to be a million resources out there.


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## ms.beesknees (Sep 26, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> This is a common phenomenon experienced by married deployed troops. As much as you miss your spouse, it is awkward entering and leaving the relationship. The good news is that if you and hubby can keep this thing together, you'll have a very strong marriage, tested in ways very few couples ever know. The military gives us opportunities for couples retreats, counseling, etc.
> There's got to be a million resources out there.


Thanks do much, I can't imagine going through what deployed troops and family's go thru. He seems to have unrealistic expectations about relationships.. That he can be gone 8 months, and come home and pick right back up where we left off..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

ms.beesknees said:


> Thanks do much, I can't imagine going through what deployed troops and family's go thru. He seems to have unrealistic expectations about relationships.. That he can be gone 8 months, and come home and pick right back up where we left off..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't think that's what he's saying. What you said is something he might say if he came back and YOU didn't love him.

But he came back and said it to you. Granted 8 months is a long time. I'm guessing he met someone "better" (sorry to phrase it that way).


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