# I am only 23, Will i ever marry again??



## BrighStar (Dec 29, 2010)

I am only 23 yo, divorced 2 months ago and seperated for a year. i have a daughter who is 2 yo. i am happy i am out of my abusive marriage but still i am soo terrified with the idea that i might be single for the rest of my life. will i ever find love again...Is there anybody who ll be interested in someone with a child and still be a good man??? i am too confused, yet hopefull most of the time.


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## TheLostGoodGuy (Nov 1, 2010)

Of course you will. Since i got divorced from my first wife I only date women with children because they understand and can treat my kids better than someone without kids. Its a huge common ground that is important in my book. I dated women without kids and it always goes bad. As long as they dont have 7 kids and only 28 I would consider it. Dont worry you will find a man that will not only love you but also take on the responibilty of your daughter.


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## BrighStar (Dec 29, 2010)

Thanxx for your reply.. u gave me some hope. I wish i ll find i guy like u here hehe


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

BrighStar, take some time for yourself, too. If you fell for an abusive man once, you are at high risk of doing it again.

If you can learn to feel really, really good about being a competent single mom, you will be less vulnerable to the same mistake.

Huge red flags are things like, a guy falling madly in love with you really quickly and pushing the relationship forward very quickly. This is not often real love--it is either desperation (he can't stand to be alone and will settle for the first woman who falls for his 'rush') or a classic "bait and switch" tactic where he is rushing to secure you (in marriage or other commitment/dependency) so he can control you. That's when the abuse will begin to show, once he feels you have become dependent on him--financially, emotionally, whatever. 

So, please explore this in counseling or at least read some good books. In the meantime, focus on your ability to take care of yourself financially and otherwise so you don't fall prey again. It is impossible to distinguish what is really love from its less attractive look-alikes without investing a lot of time in the relationship. And b/c you have a daughter, you need to be extra careful. 6 months at least b/4 you introduce a boy friend--if he is angry about this, then he is trying to rush you (remember that! caution in protecting your child from a series of casual boyfriends is something a guy should respect in you). If a guy "can't wait" 6 months to become more involved in your family life, then the problem lies with HIM, not you. This is true even for men with kids--just b/c they think it is ok to introduce each new gf to their kids, doesn't make it right. 

The more you work on yourself and feeling good about yourself w/o a partner, the better chance you have a finding a guy who is actually one you will want to spend your life with. Neediness leads us to make choices too quickly, to ignore signs that something might be wrong. Time is your friend! Use it wisely!

And good luck.


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