# Need some input please.



## lost_on_earth (Sep 27, 2013)

First off i want to say hi to everyone. I hope this is the right place for this type of post. If not, I'm sorry. Please don't judge me and try to be kind.

First off let me start off by saying I love my wife a lot but there is a little trouble in our marriage. I tell my wife I love her and she kind of ignores it. I tell me how much I would miss her when she goes out of town and she just don't say anything not even I feel the same way. The marriage is sexless and we already talked about the the issues we are having in out marriage. So tells me that she don't have to tell me how she feels, she says I come home don't I?

Well, after saying that, I have to say that recently I have started liking a co worker. It all started with me harmless flirting with her a little to giving her complements a lot. she gets a little embarrassed when i give her complements. I'm not sure if she like me back. She gives me mixed signals. Like for instance, she wants to know my schedule for work. she sometimes stars into my eyes. let me also mention that she's got a boyfriend that she loves and has been with for a while now I don't want to tell my wife about this for fear of losing her or something like that. 

That feels good to get off my chest. If anyone has anything to add, please do so. Try to be nice about it.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

I understand how you fell into this but you are playing with fire and should understand how you can wreck your life if you don't wise up. 

You can lose your job, lose your wife, get punched by the boyfriend, get posted on cheaterville so everyone well find that you are a cheater, which could effect your future. 

You may have to pay alimony and child support. I don't know your financial situation so I can't comment further. 

My advice is very simple. Tell your wife about this girl and help her understand how your marriage is going to end if something doesn't change. 

Secondly, cease all unnecessary contact with this girl. You are married. Period.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Seems that you're not thinking straight.
You're married, the woman at work has a boyfriend and you're saying that you're attracted to her. You like her and she kinda likes you.
Getting involved with a woman who's already involved is bad business anyway you look at it.
Even if you were single it would still be a bad idea because she's not.

Maybe you should get both you and your wife into counselling and find out what exactly is the problem.

If she doesn't want to go to counselling, then it may be time for a divorce.
However you must stay away fro this or any woman who's still involved with another man. It always ends badly.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

You know your wife doesn't love you, right? Probably never did. Get out of that black pit of a marriage then start seeing some SINGLE girls as a single guy.

But first things first. Leave the ice maiden.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Stop the thing with the woman at work. It can only end badly.

Instead get your wife into marriage counseling with you. If she will not go to MC, you go to individual counseling and find the strength to end your marriage.

Either fix the marriage or divorce. If you divorce, then find a woman who is capable of loving you.


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## moto164 (Aug 4, 2013)

You know its wrong or you would not be here.


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## lost_on_earth (Sep 27, 2013)

Thanks everyone. I'm going talk to my wife about how I feel about all of these and as for the co worked, we talked about it today and what she said to me got me back on track. She might like me a little but i figured out she isn't for me. If nothing comes about with the wife, I'm going to suggest counseling. If she don't want to do, I'm going to assume the marriage is over and look in another direction.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

lost_on_earth said:


> Thanks everyone. I'm going talk to my wife about how I feel about all of these and as for the co worked, we talked about it today and what she said to me got me back on track. She might like me a little but i figured out she isn't for me. If nothing comes about with the wife, I'm going to suggest counseling. If she don't want to do, I'm going to assume the marriage is over and look in another direction.


 Now you know that the girl at work isn't what you thought so the danger of straying is now void. But you have another problem at home and your the only one who can do something about it. 

You can voice your concerns to your wife and let her know that her way of treating you is not only hurtful but disrespectful and you don't like it one bit. Now the ball is in her court and it's put up or shut up time.

If she blows your concerns off then I would start thinking about divorce. If she's going to be that inconsiderate about your feelings, trying to get her to a MC will be like pulling teeth but at least you'll have a clearer picture. 

I'm not accusing her of anything but are you sure that she's being faithful because her attitude tells another story which you don't know about unless of course, she was like that when you first married her.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Dont crap where you eat.

But I understand how you got into this trap.

Listen to the others here. It's a very bad idea. If you have no kids with your wife I would suggest working hard to figure out why she doesn't feel connected to you anymore or leaving.


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## CarefulinNY (Sep 30, 2013)

I overuse I love you with my wife. It doesn't mean anything if you say it all the time. I made a concious effort to stop saying it so much. It doesn't mean I don't love her, I'm just trying to reclaim the meaning of the statement.

There is no way any good can come from the girl at work but you already know that. You better cut that out ASAP.


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## easy_e (Sep 11, 2013)

You have a commitment to your wife, and instead of sorting things out with her you'd rather add to your problems? **snap snap* time to wake up. 

What have you done to change how you interact with your wife? Do you realize it takes 2 to make and to break problems?

No matter what happens with your wife.....people that have relations at work are lazy and foolish. You have a tiff....then what? New job, miss work.....etc...

My advice for you......START MAKING BETTER DECISIONS for yourself!


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Some people are just not as affectionate as their spouse. My wife is a bit on the cold side, too, when it comes to the lovey-Dovey stuff. For an alpha-male type, I actually like that crap and know that my wife is my soulmate, hence the reason why that stuff is good in my book. 

But she is a more distant personality than I am and was like Tay when we were dating. It's not as of it started recently and every time I bring it,up to,her for discussion, she says that just the way she is and there's no hidden meaning. 

We have a good sex life after a LD period from her and that was a pain in the ass in conjunction with the other stuff. 

You're getting some of that positive attention from your co-worker and she the same from you. But leave it at harmless flirting because if you take it further, it may blow up in everyone's face. 

And do NOT mention the worker to your wife. What good will that do?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

lost_on_earth said:


> First off i want to say hi to everyone. I hope this is the right place for this type of post. If not, I'm sorry. Please don't judge me and try to be kind.
> 
> First off let me start off by saying I love my wife a lot but there is a little trouble in our marriage. I tell my wife I love her and she kind of ignores it. I tell me how much I would miss her when she goes out of town and she just don't say anything not even I feel the same way. The marriage is sexless and we already talked about the the issues we are having in out marriage. So tells me that she don't have to tell me how she feels, she says I come home don't I?
> 
> ...


you say you love her!

please explain what you love about a wife who ignores you when you tell her you love her and miss her when she is gone.

please tell me what you love about someone who doesn't desire you sexually?

what is there to love?

wake up and smell the coffee. she just stays because she is either afraid what her life would be like without your income.or is too lazy to make a move and staying with a nice guy chump who will put up with all her bull$hit is better than the unknown.

so what are you going to do about it?

my advice would be to start doing things on your own.quit telling her you love her....and if she mentions it give her the same response that she gave you.

start be the man you want to be. pick some goals and start working towards them.


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