# silly question, but I have to ask it



## marbles (Jan 21, 2013)

Hello everyone! I think I have reached the point of absolute desperation. Is there a way to monitor your spouses' cell phone without them knowing about it? I have seen some of them online BUT they cost a fortune, charge your phone monthly, link you to spam, etc. I just want a basic, free *if possible* way to see what is actually going on. (of course not allowing my husband to know or catch on because he is a little more techy than I am....)

The tricky part is that I have basically no access to his phone because he keeps it attached to him 24/7. Look, I know what is going on, but i need the proof, because without the absolute proof in my face I cant do anything further. 

soooo, is there a way to monitor someone's cell without them knowing it, and doing it remotely that is legit? I almost just want to hire a hacker! I wont, but it has crossed my mind. 

I have caught him in the past! but I had to hire someone to help me. I never should have went back, but our son was very ill, and it all happened crazy and we got back together. fast forward 17 years.......and here I am.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

marbles said:


> Hello everyone! I think I have reached the point of absolute desperation. Is there a way to monitor your spouses' cell phone without them knowing about it? I have seen some of them online BUT they cost a fortune, charge your phone monthly, link you to spam, etc. I just want a basic, free *if possible* way to see what is actually going on. (of course not allowing my husband to know or catch on because he is a little more techy than I am....)
> 
> The tricky part is that I have basically no access to his phone because he keeps it attached to him 24/7. Look, I know what is going on, but i need the proof, because without the absolute proof in my face I cant do anything further.
> 
> ...


Most tracking apps if not all require the phone. And if he has an iPhone it will require jailbreaking and if he is tech savy there is no way he wont notice.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Do you think he is having a PA with someone local or an EA with someone through texts?

If you think he might be talking to someone on the phone you should put a VAR in his car, thats the easiest way to bust him. Getting his phone if he has it all the time is not easy.


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## Louise7 (Nov 8, 2012)

marbles said:


> Hello everyone! I think I have reached the point of absolute desperation. Is there a way to monitor your spouses' cell phone without them knowing about it? I have seen some of them online BUT they cost a fortune, charge your phone monthly, link you to spam, etc. I just want a basic, free *if possible* way to see what is actually going on. (of course not allowing my husband to know or catch on because he is a little more techy than I am....)
> 
> The tricky part is that I have basically no access to his phone because he keeps it attached to him 24/7. Look, I know what is going on, but i need the proof, because without the absolute proof in my face I cant do anything further.
> 
> ...


That depends on what phone your husband uses. If you could let us know what make/model, I'm sure the clever techie types here will be able to help.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Going to be tough if you can't touch his phone.

Also look at the carrier. For example AT&T online gives you all the calls and text message numbers. You could then pay for Spokeo.com or intellus and do searches on the phone numbers he calls the most.

Also look at your home phone bill. Cable companies also record those calls when you get your phone through cable or fiber.

Or *** it call him out on it and ask to see his cell phone right then and there. He will give you some song and dance why you can't and try to blame you for being insecure and punishing him because you are. But you know its B.S. 

Just tell him your right so let me see your phone so I can see what a fool I am. Teach me a lesson. 

But if you can get those records then you can cross reference them against his phone. If you can't find the number in his contact list or text messages, It is probably because he deletes them just incase. Or be aware of text message with contacts that have no text messages. Example on the Iphone you can delete individual text messages or the whole chat with a person. My wife would just delete the text messages but keep the contact. So it shows she had a text message but deleted the individual text messages.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

LetDownNTX said:


> Do you think he is having a PA with someone local or an EA with someone through texts?
> 
> If you think he might be talking to someone on the phone you should put a VAR in his car, thats the easiest way to bust him. Getting his phone if he has it all the time is not easy.


:iagree:
this is going to get results if he's up to no good


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## marbles (Jan 21, 2013)

And here's where it gets really difficult for me.....

he has a verizon droid x phone, but it is exclusively paid for by his employer. they get the bills, etc. 

he has an ipad for everything else. However, on his phone he plays games, etc. and also has a "PALRINGO" account. 

he also drives a company vehicle. he works 60 miles away on a daily basis. rarely drives one of our vehicles anywhere! Im the only one who uses our vehicles on a daily basis. 

I have desperately TRIED to get access to his cell.....last weekend I told him that I needed to use it because mine wouldn't work, etc. VERY RELUCTANTLY HE AGREED. when i asked him what the password was to use it, he gave me one and i was like, "jackpot!" 

BUT when I went to use the phone, it was the wrong password (go figure huh?). So, I called him from a gas station and asked him for it....made up a story to why I may need it, and while on the phone with him tried it. It didn't work. before I know it, the phone locked me out! it reset. he was furious!!

So, there is something going on. I find porn on our computers and his ipad constantly. I know he chats with people in the past. He is a pro at covering up.....I just need to get a little smarter on what to try next. 


Im a lost cause right?


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## marbles (Jan 21, 2013)

walkonmars said:


> :iagree:
> this is going to get results if he's up to no good



okay, you have me curious! what is a var? and does it have to be done inside of the vehicle? I mean, geesh, I dont know. what is it and how does it work? 

thanks!!


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

There aren't any free ways to do what you want. There is a very good spy program for the Droid however. More info here: FlexiSPY - The worlds most powerful spyphone

If you have access to his google account you can install it remotely without having to physically have his phone. It can be done directly from the Google Play store.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

marbles said:


> okay, you have me curious! what is a var? and does it have to be done inside of the vehicle? I mean, geesh, I dont know. what is it and how does it work?
> 
> thanks!!


It is a Voice Activated Recorder and you can buy them at most electronics stores. What most people do is use heavy duty velcro to secure it under the driver's seat. You put it in (with fresh batteries) wait a few days and then retrieve it and listen at your convenience.


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## marbles (Jan 21, 2013)

sandc said:


> There aren't any free ways to do what you want. There is a very good spy program for the Droid however. More info here: FlexiSPY - The worlds most powerful spyphone
> 
> If you have access to his google account you can install it remotely without having to physically have his phone. It can be done directly from the Google Play store.


okay...thanks for the help! It's worth a try if I can find out what his google is. :scratchhead:


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## marbles (Jan 21, 2013)

sandc said:


> It is a Voice Activated Recorder and you can buy them at most electronics stores. What most people do is use heavy duty velcro to secure it under the driver's seat. You put it in (with fresh batteries) wait a few days and then retrieve it and listen at your convenience.



this sounds like a possiblity.....will be very tricky for me to get access to the interior of his van, but I will give it a try. how long do they last generally? I guess they only operate when they hear noise? hmmmm.....this may work!!


*another thing~~~does anyone know how the Palringo thing works? I can see his account on his IPAD, but not sure what to look for, how to use it to see messages, etc.*


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

marbles said:


> he has a Verizon Droid X phone, but it is exclusively paid for by his employer. they get the bills, etc.


You may not be able to get to the phone for your own personal examination of it, as well as the phone call and texting records, since they are company subsedized.

But if it ever comes to a divorce filing and the subsequent discovery process, then you certainly can get those same records by subpoenaing them either from the company itself, or from its cell phone provider, and they would have no other recourse than to turn them over, unaltered, to your attorney and to the court.

Now the company could possibly fight that only on the flimsy grounds that the release of such records would be detrimental to the welfare of the company, but no self-respecting judge would ever permit it, primarily on the legal premise of using it to get to the truth.

Now getting a VAR into a company car that only he drives and keeps locked while parked, will certainly not be all that easy! Participating in that activity could certainly lead to "breaking and entering" on your part. You don't need that!


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

marbles said:


> this sounds like a possiblity.....will be very tricky for me to get access to the interior of his van, but I will give it a try. how long do they last generally? I guess they only operate when they hear noise? hmmmm.....this may work!!


That's correct. They only record the noises they hear. If he listens to the radio loudly you'll hear that and it will probably run down the batteries quicker. Best of luck.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Keep in mind that many regions are no fault divorce areas. It doesn't matter to the court that he's cheating on you (if he is). And if his phone and car are company property, you do run legal risks in bugging or hacking them. You should speak to a lawyer about your rights and responsibilities.

C


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## CHEATEDON12 (Jan 21, 2013)

if you have to do all of this... IT'S TIME TO GO!

Why waste your precious time spying on a no good man when you could be focusing on you and finding someone that is faithful?? 

Screw him and all men who cheat!! I hope his wee wee falls off while in the act!... Okay totally immature I know but honestly, do you want to waste your time chafing this man?


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

if you can get his phone for 10 min while he is sleeping, I know an app you can install that will get you anything you want.

Costs about 50 bucks.
I have one for the PC too.

You will need the phone to install the phone one.
But it is invisible once on the phone.


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## marbles (Jan 21, 2013)

DevastatedDad said:


> if you can get his phone for 10 min while he is sleeping, I know an app you can install that will get you anything you want.
> 
> Costs about 50 bucks.
> I have one for the PC too.
> ...



okay, thank you. I will send you a PM when I get ready for it.


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