# What Level of Privacy is Appropriate to Have with Your Partner?



## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

Over the course of your relationship, you and your partner have come to know each other very well – perhaps even better than you know yourselves. More than that, your lives have become intertwined and sometimes it’s difficult to draw the line between your life and your partner’s. 

In any relationship, however, it is important to maintain your independence and a little privacy never hurt anyone. But what level of privacy is appropriate in a relationship and how do you strike the right balance? Keep reading to find out.

*Having Privacy vs. Keeping Secrets*

If you and your partner share a bank account, you’ll both need to know the password. But should your partner know the code to unlock your phone? Or have access to your personal email account? There’s a difference between being honest with your partner and offering full disclosure – your partner doesn’t need to have access to all of your accounts and they are not entitle to knowledge of your every thought or action. You are both individuals with individual lives who choose to spend their time together.

In deciding how much privacy you and your partner should maintain, you should think about the difference between having privacy and keeping secrets. Maintaining some level of privacy with your partner is an act of trust – you can’t control your partner (or they you), and you shouldn’t try to. At the same time, you shouldn’t actively abuse your partner’s trust or keep secrets that could be hurtful. If you do everything in love, you won’t have a problem.

*Tips for Maintaining Privacy in a Relationship*

Intimacy is an extremely important part of any relationship, but there is a difference between sharing your life with a partner and sharing every single thought, feeling, and action. Here are some tips for maintaining balance and a healthy degree of privacy in a relationship:

•	*Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.* If you’ve committed yourself to this person, you obviously trust them, so honor that trust and don’t become jealous or insecure. 

•	*Do things together and separately*. Respect the fact that the two of you are individuals and give each other the space to do things alone. 

•	*Be honest about things that affect the relationship.* You don’t necessarily need to share with your partner every thought you have throughout the day when you’re not together, but you should be honest with something happens that could affect the relationship.

•	*Don’t be afraid to ask questions, but don’t always expect an answer.* If there is something you are concerned or curious about, ask your partner instead of making assumptions. At the same time, you need to respect your partner’s privacy and trust that if there is something you need to know, they will tell you. 

•	*Don’t keep secrets.* There is a difference between keeping a friend’s secret about a private issue and withholding damaging information from your partner. Secrets about lending money, not paying bills, addiction, legal trouble, and other things that could affect your partner as well as the relationship should be put out in the open.

Every relationship is a partnership – it is two people coming together in love. This also means that every relationship is unique, so you and your partner will have to have a discussion about the level of privacy you each feel is appropriate in your relationship. 

~ VS Glen, Community Support


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