# How Big is too Big?



## Saya (Mar 25, 2010)

Hello everyone. This is my first post but I have lurked here for a while now.

My Hubby and I are coming up on our 3rd wedding anniversary. We have been together for about 5 years and friends for more than 10. We are 26 and 27 (me, him). We both come from parents with dysfunctional marriages & divorce so we have made a commitment to communicate and be very aware of our marriage needs. For us sex is a very big part of it and we have had some awesome adventures!

What I am wondering is if a guy can be too big for safe anal sex. Hubs is very well endowed and is worried that he would cause me damage. We both enjoy anal stimulation (and I like toys there too!) but I really want to do this with him.

Any thoughts?


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

You could get sex toys in various sizes and try them one at a time, working up until you find it too uncomfortable to continue. Then compare the last one that fit to your husband. If he's bigger, don't do it.

Use a lot of lubricant.


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## mva (Mar 26, 2010)

You must try first with small objects and let him know that you like it occasionally. If he dosen't like then don't compel, its better that you give him both options at same time, when he is putting in your vagina same time you apply some lubricant in your other hole and finger yourself, its better to have a protection or thin latex. If it is still tight and he feels that you will get hurt, then put two or three fingers together and be in a position so that he can take out from one hole and put in another directly, try few times and let him twist whenever he puts in vagina to make the joining membrane soft.


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## laredo (Jan 23, 2010)

Dont quite understand the "twisting".


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## Saya (Mar 25, 2010)

Thanks for the posts.

We do anal play on each other already. Plugs and other toys. But getting him to take the last step has been hard. I know he wants it but is afraid of really hurting me. He had a bad exp with a GF years ago.

I picked up 3 new plugs today. The last one is just about as thick as he is. So far the biggest toy we've used is about 3/4ths of his size.

He's away till Thursday so I am going to do some work on it. This is the last "virginity" I have to give him and for some reason it means so much to me to have him take it.


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## Saya (Mar 25, 2010)

Yahoo!! just was able to use a toy as close to his size as I could find! Most amazing solo O of my life!!!!!!!

I have been using progressively bigger plugs and toys every other day and it worked! Surprisingly not painful. well just a little bit at first.

Sent him a pic of the toy then one with it in place! He called me 2 seconds after he got it! He will be home on Wednesday, our anniversary!!!!!


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## CandyS (Apr 20, 2010)

Well I have to say Anal Ease works wonders because it numbs the area a little so you are comfortable. Have your husband talk to you threw it and a little at a time so that way he knows if it is to much to back off a little, but a little each time leads to such great pleasure and a WOW orgasm you will not soon forget.


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## HunyLuv (Apr 20, 2010)

CandyS said:


> Well I have to say Anal Ease works wonders because it numbs the area a little so you are comfortable. Have your husband talk to you threw it and a little at a time so that way he knows if it is to much to back off a little, but a little each time leads to such great pleasure and a WOW orgasm you will not soon forget.


Yes and clit stimulation at the same time is a must for me...my hubby is endowed also but the few times we have done it just cuz i'm hesistant I have to let him bend me over and slowly walk me thru it as CandyS said above...I culdnt sit on it but thats just me  maybe one day! But yes yes ANAL LUBE u still really feel the BEST O just not the uncomfy pain...have fun


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## Saya (Mar 25, 2010)

It was AMAZING!!! 

Thanks for the lube tip. It made it go better than I thought. He was very gentle. Almost too gentle at times. He was so worried about hurting me. I had to tell him he could go a little faster a few times.

We both had incredible O's.

I am surprised that I don't have much discomfort today considering that I could really tell that he was a little bit bigger than the biggest toy I used. So I guess my prep work paid off!

I WANT MORE!!

How often is too often?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

Saya said:


> It was AMAZING!!!
> 
> Thanks for the lube tip. It made it go better than I thought. He was very gentle. Almost too gentle at times. He was so worried about hurting me. I had to tell him he could go a little faster a few times.
> 
> ...



I think how often is going to be up to you guys. It's new to you so I think you just need to listen to you body. My wife and I go through cycles with it. We will do it very often for a few weeks then wont for a while. I think most importantly though, you need to listen to your body and if something feels off then take a break.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Saya said:


> It was AMAZING!!!
> 
> Thanks for the lube tip. It made it go better than I thought. He was very gentle. Almost too gentle at times. He was so worried about hurting me. I had to tell him he could go a little faster a few times.
> 
> ...


:smthumbup: You both sound like you are having a lot of fun! It's nice to read about a couple that is enjoying sex. 

I gave my husband my "anal virginity" as well and it was special for both of us and it's a regular activity we both enjoy (along with using various toys and such) and you can have fun by varying your positions (as to where you have it and what positions you are in). 

My husband is pretty well endowed so I say you can never use too much lubricant. Plus, I don't think you can do it too often until you get sore and it isn't pleasurable anymore. I find it's always fun to vary things too. That's what the toys are for. Sometimes my husband will use toys on me and pleasure himself. Somehow I find that rather arousing. We can get pretty kinky sometimes.  

Be careful about having anal and then vaginal intercourse. You don't want to give yourself an infection in certain places, if you know what I mean.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Damn, what's goin on in here??!?! Since when is a woman craving anal sex? I can only dream..haha, all in good time I guess.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

marriedguy said:


> Damn, what's goin on in here??!?! Since when is a woman craving anal sex? I can only dream..haha, all in good time I guess.


You gotta find yourself the right woman dude.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Freak On a Leash said:


> You gotta find yourself the right woman dude.


haha, I'm married dude..I've got a great woman who does NOT like Anal sex...
Cant have everything I guess..


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## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

CandyS said:


> Well I have to say Anal Ease works wonders because it numbs the area a little so you are comfortable. Have your husband talk to you threw it and a little at a time so that way he knows if it is to much to back off a little, but a little each time leads to such great pleasure and a WOW orgasm you will not soon forget.


I would add the cautionary note that this would one time where you may want to use a condom. That stuff does numb the butt hole but it numbed up my penis too. After that failure we showered and tried to get it back up with a bj and her lips were numb too! It was, as I recall, over two hours before there was enough wood to finish the project.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

marriedguy said:


> haha, I'm married dude..I've got a great woman who does NOT like Anal sex...
> Cant have everything I guess..


Yah, I should've figured out your marital status from your name. :slap:

Nope, can't have everything. I'm glad your wife is great. It's nice to hear! She's not alone when it comes to anal sex. For a long time that was "off limits" for me as well. But my husband was persistent...

BTW, I'm not a dude. :rofl: I just call people that.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

ahh, haha ok..your not a dude, your a chick...got it.
So you say your husband was persistant eh? Did that scare you away or did you love it eventually? I need all the tips I can get..I'm looking at hopefully getting some booty tonight..we will see...


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Yep, I'm a chick. *Looks herself over*. Yep yep..sure am. 

I'd had a few prior lovers who did express an interest in *that* part of my body and very firmly said "off limits" whenever someone tried. My husband was very gently but firmly persistent in that he'd just get me hot and kind of "work his way up" to that part of my body by touching me when I was pretty much in the state of mind and body where he could do anything to me. I'm actually pretty open minded and kinky when it comes to sex but I guess I always thought of *that part* as being dirty and off limits. He turned it into an area that was pleasurable (he's very good at touching me in just the right way  ). 

Some consumption of alcohol and using lubrication and toys first went a LONG way as well the first time we did it. So combined with me being in the right mood (as in very turned on during lovemaking) what was once off limits became possible. 

Plus I wasn't a virgin when I married my husband but I was when I met him (we were friends for 9 years before we dated). I guess there was always a part of me that felt bad that I wasn't a virgin but anally I was and I rather liked the idea that this was something I could give to him and just him. He liked that idea too, so it was pretty much a distinct possibility all along. 

We pretty much did as the OP did. We worked our way up to it with toys and fingering and lots of lubrication and eventually him. He still likes using toys as well and it's gotten to the point where I do enjoy it and enjoy it a lot. Mostly because he's a bit of an "assman" and really gets off on it. I like that a lot. Making love to my husband and knowing that he's totally turned on by me it really a thrill. I will say that I don't tend to touch that part of his body. I've tried a few times and it just doesn't turn me on but it doesn't seem to be a big deal for him. There's lots of other stuff I do to him to make him happy. 

As for your own wife. You can talk with her (my husband and I often chatted about doing anal for awhile before working up to it and I expressed that I was open minded) and then kind of work your way up to it little by little. If your wife is open minded it should eventually happen for you. Now I like it a lot because I love having a lot of variety in my lovemaking. :smthumbup:


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