# Don't understand wife's behavior... she's filed, I'm devastated.



## family-guy-no-more (Jan 15, 2012)

My wife up and left me after 24 yrs of marriage. We have 2 kids and I was trying to help oldest with studying. Oldest was crying (45 min) because did not want to study, wanted mom to save from studying. My voice was elevated (because of child crying), but encouraging. Mom entered room and said she was going to call cops on me, "if I kept this up".

Wife never threatened to call cops on me before.

Explained that oldest was protesting studying and needed wife's help (as wife is primary tutor, but out of her element with this science class, that is why I was trying to help).

Wife helped. Wife put youngest to bed. Oldest went to bed. Wife interacted with me normally, watched TV, laughed, then went to bed.

Next day at lunch, wife was visibly depressed, head down, slumped down in couch. Said she needed a break. She already told oldest didn't need to study that night. Talked about how child was not able to do work and should be in other classes (has 6 A's and 1 D). Discussion took all of lunch hour. I went back to work.

Came home at end of day. Wife had overnight bag on table and told me they were leaving.

They left. She took out restraining order. I have not talked to her in 2.5 months. I have seen kids for 2 hrs since. 

There is a lot of strange behavior before she left. Called police on delivery person 8 days before she left. Claimed someone tried to break in day before that. Much more. Did she suffer breakdown? 

Don't want divorce. Love wife. Love kids. Don't want family 1 accident from bankruptcy. Need help from people in like situation. Would like to keep family together.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Did you used to yell at your wife? did you throw things?

Just trying to understand the calling the cops threat.

You need to work on getting more time with your children. The fact that you let her take your children out of the family home and that you have not had contact with them but once in 2.5 months does not speak well of you. How old are yo u children?

It's time you grow a backbone and start being a parent to your children even if your wife does not want to see you. 


YOu need to see an attorney. You will have to file for divorce so you can set up 50/50 custody and time with your children. YOu can always stop the divorce process if you and your wife get back together. But the first thing you need to do it to fix this issue of not seeing your kids.


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

Something seems strange that she would just up and leave you Did you two have a happy marriage otherwise or were you fighting a great deal in front of the kids?
Do you think she was upset with you for a long period of time?
Maybe found someone else?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## family-guy-no-more (Jan 15, 2012)

She has restraining order against me. I cannot contact her or the kids. I have never hit anyone in my family. I will raise my voice but I do not belittle or threaten people. I do not throw things, either. I have an attorney and he got me kids back home, but she is now in my home and I am in an apartment.


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## family-guy-no-more (Jan 15, 2012)

I don't think she found someone else. Yes. I would say we were happy. The coming and saying she was going to call the police shocked me to my core. She has never said anything like that. Then to behave normally after that (watch TV), then to be all depressed the next day... I don't understand the mood shifts or the leaving.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

A restraining order does not hold unless she has a valid story or she's lied enough to the point of being convincing.

You have to be a physical threat to her and your children to be restrained. 

She sounds mentally unstable based on your story. You should not allow someone like that to control your life.


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

If she truly loves you and wants to make your marriage work she should agree to counseling. It is worth the conversation to make your world a happier place to be. You deserve a better life than that. Your home should be a place to want to be. Not somewhere you are not looking forward to going everyday. Good luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Do you have a lawyer helping you?

Step 1- get rid of the RO

Step 2- get those kids back home

Step 3- hire a PI and find out what she's been up to. 

It sounds like either a mental breakdown - or an affair.


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## family-guy-no-more (Jan 15, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Do you have a lawyer helping you?
> 
> Step 1- get rid of the RO - Lawyer working the restraining order.
> 
> ...


Her behavior in court has been odd. She has had 3 lawyers now. Between the 2nd and 3rd lawyer she tried to represent herself. She was actually calling the judge and said the 2nd lawyer made her sign an agreement she did not want to. Then she was asking the penalty for not following through on the agreement. She interupted anyone and everyone that tried to talk. She was even considering disobeying still and taking the contempt of court punishment $500 fine or 6 months in jail.

If it is mental (and I think it is) how do I get this in front of the court for them to act on it?


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Your lawyer should bring up her instability in the court-room as a sign of her lack of sound judgement. The judge should see through her behavior and make the right decision. 

I'm sorry you're going through this. I also feel for your wife. She's clearly not being herself. She will regret this very much.


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