# About PMS



## mswren7 (May 8, 2011)

I suffer really badly from pre-menstrual stress and take it out on my husband, who has cheated by the way and I really rip into him about it particularly at this time of the month. So bad in fact yesterday I rang him at work and started the old argument and he asked if I want a divorce and I said yes.

But despite that, do any of you ladies have any advice about dealing with PMS or advice that you could share about how you cope during this time, or if it even affects you.

I am starting to think that I need to go away for a few days when this starts happening as I turn into some sort of uncontrollable hormonal wreck. Taking the contraceptive pill continuously seems to work somewhat, it's just when I stop it and take the sugar pills that this monster in me emerges.

Any advice appreciated. Thanks.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

During these days, I have heavy chest feeling, it is not a good feeling. I hate the fact that I have to endure this. 

I used to get impatient and find a lot of things around me annoying! 

Now I just know it is my body's problem, I have to fight with the demon inside of me, the best way for me to do it is to keep quiet. 

Don't make any decisions during these days, or you will just regret. 

Try to have good sleep, and listen to some good soft music. 

If you have decided to forgive your husband for the past pain he caused you, keep on bringing it up won't help you or your marriage.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Yah, PMS stinks! Actually, so do a lot of things associated with that aspect of being female.  I don't get the awful mood swings, but migraines and awful cramps and food cravings.

One thing that helps is to take care of yourself - try and exercise, eat right (fight off those urges to gorge yourself with sugar and junk food), take your multi-vitamin. Give yourself permission to take time to yourself.

Mark on the calendar when the time will happen (we do this so my H knows what's going on when). Then, maybe your H can take some of the moodiness with a grain of salt if he knows it's coming.

Do some research - there's a lot out there. When I talked with my doc about my issues, one of the suggestions was to go on a low-dose anti-depressant for the week or so that I have the PMS symptoms. I haven't tried this, but maybe some others have that could comment on it.

As well, it sounds like there may be some unresolved issues that need to be worked through with your H regarding his cheating.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I'm in perimenopause and one of the symptoms is wicked pms. I'm having really good luck with combining a healthy diet with taking black cohosh daily. I'm also in therapy to help me cope with life's stresses (and yes to deal with unresolved issues). This was not a quick fix. I've been at this for 4+ months. I went from 8 days a month of me being totally cranky down to this month just a day of it. I do have an anti depressant that I can take if it gets really bad. This month I just took 1/2 of one on that one bad day I had. I was feeling angry and I didn't want to take it out on my family. Within an hour I had calmed down enough to cope. It was only 5mg of Lexapro. I don't take it everyday just as needed.

Another thing that is really helping is getting outside. Sunshine helps with seretonin which makes me happy. I'm aiming for 30 minutes to an hour a day outside in full sun. Go read up on PMS it is one of their suggestions.

I hate pms and intend on beating it. So far I think I'm doing a good job of it.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

I have one day where I am completely and utterly angry and miserable. I generally announce it. 

I used to inform the EH when he got home " I am miserable, I am cranky, and angry for absolutely NO reason. I can't help it, you can't help it, and I am sorry for anything I might say or do, I don't mean it and it's not personal." And then I'd usually send him for my monthly bacon cheese burger and be somewhat fine afterwards. I am usually completely unapproachable while eating my burger too but fine afterwards. I savor every bite. lol.

My moms hormonal issues got to such a severe point to where she pms'd all month long. I have my own monthly issues, I swell one week, Im cranky another, and the third is when my face breaks out uncontrollably. But mom would find herself in tears for no reason, completely inconsolible, and unable to control it to where she felt like she was sitting back watching what she was doing and unable to stop it. 

She ended up seeing a female gyno who gave her a hysto. My mom has been fine since. She still has her ovaries, but the rest of her issues seem to have mostly dissipated. She gave me a long explanation for it, detailing why its even common in women who've had their tubes tied. but I forgot most of it. With her, she couldn't control it, where as with me, I just announce that everyone should probably stay away from me.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

- Mindfulness practice
- St Johns Wort


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## mswren7 (May 8, 2011)

Thank you for your replies and ideas. Yes, there are unresolved issues re the cheating husband, but that is another story and may never be resolved.

I just better remember to take my anti-depress. tabs to stabilise my moods, better go and have one now. Thanks again.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I really don't like the idea of taking medicine for everything. 

You are unhappy, take medicine. 

You are moody, take medicine. 

You are angry, take medicine. 

Medicine is a quick fix, but it doesn't solve the root problem.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

I get PMS the week before the sugar pills in my triphasic pack.

During this week, I am tired, I want too much sugar, I have pimples and I weep. My breasts also feel heavy and sore.

I take Tylenol Menstrual for the aches and fatigue, as well as the crying spells. It works, along with warning my husband. He says that he can always tell when my period is close. 

Mr.G simply cuddles me when I cry and gently reminds me how he loves to see me smile. Sex also helps with the moodiness! :smthumbup:


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> I really don't like the idea of taking medicine for everything.
> 
> You are unhappy, take medicine.
> 
> ...


Trust me neither do I but it's either than or mess up my kids, ruin my marriage, etc. I'm working really hard to beat this with lifestyle changes but occasionally it's just not enough.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

When I had periods, don't no more, I never went thru the mood swings. I wanted my husband to baby me during this time, which never happened.

Try St.John's Wort. It helps to uplift your mood, and with hot flashes.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

magnoliagal said:


> Trust me neither do I but it's either than or mess up my kids, ruin my marriage, etc. I'm working really hard to beat this with lifestyle changes but occasionally it's just not enough.


I have never taken this kind of medicine, so I don't know what kind of magic it can work. Sometimes when I am in low spirit, I am tempted to try it! 

Every year in spring I have low spirit problems, I guess other people would call it depression. I think maybe my body remembers the pain I went through years ago. Anyway when I am struggling with low spirit problems, I want to see a doctor, my husband is against it. He says if I have real physical problems, he will take me to the doctor right away, but if it's emotional problems, he won't let me see doctors, he says that I have to sort it out by myself. 

He doesn't believe in quick fix, he says taking medicine to cure depression is no different from drinking alcohol to numb our brain. He wants me to work on my personality and understand myself, that's why I sink into reading books related to wisdom! I find those books really enlightening and helpful!

My husband says first we have to humble ourselves, second we have to put into hard work working on ourselves. These two together can help us.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> Anyway when I am struggling with low spirit problems, I want to see a doctor, my husband is against it.


This makes me sad for you. I'm still against meds but I think if used in moderation in combination with talk therapy, reading all those books, lifestyle changes, they can be truly beneficial. I'm not a big fan of suffering needlessly.

However if it were just me suffering I'd probably just suck it up and deal but it's not just me. You already know my story my husband can't handle my moodiness and my kids think I'm scary sometimes. I don't have the luxury of PMS at this stage of the game if I want to protect my family. Taking one of two meds a month is worth it for them more so than for me. 

What about herbs? Can you take those or no? Is that still a medicine to your husband?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> Every year in spring I have low spirit problems, I guess other people would call it depression.


No it's called Seasonal Affective Disorder. Some treatment protocols include mega Vitamin D and melatonin and sunlight (it's actually synthetic sunlight using intense LED lights) therapy. Also strangely, ambient air negative ionization. 



> My husband says first we have to humble ourselves, second we have to put into hard work working on ourselves. These two together can help us.


This is straight up dark ages voodoo bull****. When you pray on a case of histoplasmosis and it GETS BETTER, let me know.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> No it's called Seasonal Affective Disorder. Some treatment protocols include mega Vitamin D and melatonin and sunlight (it's actually synthetic sunlight using intense LED lights) therapy. Also strangely, ambient air negative ionization.
> 
> 
> 
> This is straight up dark ages voodoo bull****. When you pray on a case of histoplasmosis and it GETS BETTER, let me know.


I don't pray to get myself to feel better. I don't believe in praying! 

What I have done in the past years has helped a lot! 

Examining myself, understanding myself, understanding human nature, don't have high expectation for other people, be nice to other people, smile to people, if you do something nice, don't expect anything in return, understand that people all like to be respected, so when you talk to them, treat them with respect, etc etc etc..................I am not a Christian, I am not a Buddhist, but I love the wisdom these two religions provide. I also read books written by psychologists. 

All these have helped a lot!

I don't like taking medicine. I don't like feeling sorry for myself. When I have problems, I deal with it first, after I have solved the problem, then I tell people. I don't want people to pity me!


Do you know why you need to humble yourself first. Because only humble people can take into good advice books and people give. Arrogant people who think they are better than others can't listen to anybody's advice even the advice is pure wisdom. They only believe in themselves. 

Do you know why you need to work hard, because changing one's personality is not an easy job. Once your personality is shaped, it is difficult for you to think in a different angle. Your brain is wired this way, how can you unwire it and rewire it? A lot of people let their life run by their personalities, angry people ruin their life by their anger; jealous people ruin their life by their insecurity issues, greedy people ruin their life by their greed, sooner or later...................................


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

magnoliagal said:


> This makes me sad for you. I'm still against meds but I think if used in moderation in combination with talk therapy, reading all those books, lifestyle changes, they can be truly beneficial. I'm not a big fan of suffering needlessly.
> 
> However if it were just me suffering I'd probably just suck it up and deal but it's not just me. You already know my story my husband can't handle my moodiness and my kids think I'm scary sometimes. I don't have the luxury of PMS at this stage of the game if I want to protect my family. Taking one of two meds a month is worth it for them more so than for me.
> 
> What about herbs? Can you take those or no? Is that still a medicine to your husband?



You understand yourself, you know that your moodiness is affecting others, so you are trying to control yourself. It is nice of you for doing that, a lot of people don't realize that, they think everything around them has to run around them. It is important for us to be nice to people and don't let our problems affect others. They didn't cause it, they shouldn't suffer from us! 

Herbs are OK! I don't know why you need to feel sad for me. What my husband had done for me forced me to seek more positive ways to pull myself out of my mud! 

Work on my brain, work on my will power. I have trained myself not to think about negative things. When I don't feel like going to the market, I bring up spirit and do it. When I don't feel working, I bring up spirit and do it! 

When you understand who you are and you know all the negative thinking doesn't help you, just do positive things and get rid of the negative thinking. That's what I am doing now!


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

*Dad?*



greenpearl said:


> I have never taken this kind of medicine, so I don't know what kind of magic it can work. Sometimes when I am in low spirit, I am tempted to try it!
> 
> Every year in spring I have low spirit problems, I guess other people would call it depression. I think maybe my body remembers the pain I went through years ago. *Anyway when I am struggling with low spirit problems, I want to see a doctor, my husband is against it. He says if I have real physical problems, he will take me to the doctor right away, but if it's emotional problems, he won't let me see doctors, he says that I have to sort it out by myself. * I find it troubling that your husband has this level of control over you. It is like he is your father. I respect my husband's opinion, but Mr.G does not make important choices about my health. Why won't he help you sort out your issues?
> 
> ...


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Mrs.G

Did you read my last two posts? 

Why do you think that he is not concerned about my hearth? 

We are talking about emotional problems, we are not talking about physical sickness. 

If I am sick physically, he takes me to the hospital right away. He forces me to take medicine! He brings me water and medicine right in front of me! I have a rash on my leg, he puts cream on my leg for me everyday. He knows that I don't take care of myself very well! 

For the past years, when I had emotional problems, he was there comforting me and guiding me! He hugs me when I cry, he caresses me when I am in his arms. He just doesn't want me to seek an easy way out by going to a doctor. He is my doctor! He healed me by his love! 

How can taking medicine help you emotionally? If you are battling with your past issue, present concern, future worries, having arguments with people, throwing temper tantrum, how can taking medicine help you solve your problems? 

Maybe I didn't explain enough, forgive me that I am using my second language to explain myself!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Mrs. G

Tell your honestly, my husband told me many times that I have made a man I love, and I told him many times he has made a woman he loves! 

When a couple respect each other and take each other's opinion respectfully, they feel loved and they feel the intimacy between them.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Greenpearl, you do not owe me an explanation.


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

I refrain from many posts because I see things and can't trust what I think... but I saw that too Mrs. G

I know though thaat there were 12 years where I would have defended my husband to the death and cut anyone from my life that would not buy it. Totally and completely... until I was alone with him and the kids...

Depression is not "just a mood" it is often a medical condition.
Seasonal Affective Disorder is not a "mood" or "just your out of control emotions" It is a chemical imbalance that is common and can be treated with supplements and a prescribed light box.

Even PMS can be treated. 

On that note I love my Merina!! Better everything and I highly recommend it!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Shianne said:


> I refrain from many posts because I see things and can't trust what I think... but I saw that too Mrs. G
> 
> I know though thaat there were 12 years where I would have defended my husband to the death and cut anyone from my life that would not buy it. Totally and completely... until I was alone with him and the kids...


I don't know what you mean! 

I just know a few years ago, I was pounding on walls and yelling at people out of my lungs, everybody was avoiding me. 

But now everybody around me smiles at me, they are amazed by my change. My family is amazed, my co-workers are amazed, my students are quite happy that their teacher is not angry all the time anymore. 

What I have done helped me thoroughly. I don't think any medicine can help me achieve what I have achieved. 

I am quite thankful for what my husband had done for me! If not were for him, I wouldn't have been able to achieve what I have today. He has been helpful, he tells me where my problem is. 

I seldom have heavy chest feeling now, it is such a wonderful feeling. I used to feel dizzy all the time, now I seldom feel dizzy. I couldn't enjoy life before, now I am able to enjoy nature, I see beautiful flowers, I see beautiful grass, I see beautiful tress. I find people who are around me are nice, co-workers are nice, neighbors are nice, strangers are nice. Do you know how wonderful that feeling is! And this is something I couldn't feel before. I used to have a long face, felt that everybody was against me, nobody liked me, do you know how horrible that feeling is? 

Whatever, now I have a peaceful mind, I am cheerful and happy! I didn't take any medicine, I didn't waste money on psychiatrists. I spent money on books!


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

*Free Doctors!*

Greenpearl, psychiatry has helped a great deal of people. It is not a waste of money, just because your husband has clearly manipulated you like a puppet to believe what he does. 

My husband is an atheist. I am not and I refuse to become one, just because he is. Your husband forces you to attend his church and chooses how you treat your emotional issues. He controls you like his daughter and if both of you like it that way, good for you. :smthumbup:

Canadians do not pay for doctors, so your statement makes no sense. 

I think that it's interesting that you feign ignorance when posters do not agree with you. I know you are smart, so it is easy to understand why we are concerned.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

*Re: Free Doctors!*



Mrs.G said:


> Greenpearl, psychiatry has helped a great deal of people. It is not a waste of money, just because your husband has clearly manipulated you like a puppet to believe what he does.
> 
> My husband is an atheist. I am not and I refuse to become one, just because he is. Your husband forces you to attend his church and chooses how you treat your emotional issues. He controls you like his daughter and if both of you like it that way, good for you. :smthumbup:
> 
> ...


He never forced me to attend his church! 

You can say whatever you like! 

You don't need to be concerned about me! 

Thanks anyway!

By the way, your insult can work me up before. 

Now it doesn't. I know what kind of person you are! I just don't want to argue with you over small things. Not worth it!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

mswren7 said:


> I am starting to think that I need to go away for a few days when this starts happening as I turn into some sort of uncontrollable hormonal wreck. Taking the contraceptive pill continuously seems to work somewhat, it's just when I stop it and take the sugar pills that this monster in me emerges.


I joke with my husband that he needs to lock me in a cage and put duct tape over my mouth at this time of the month. If I get upset over anything, I may try to hold it in, but I can just tell my MOOD is not as light hearted as the other times of the month, I get REAL emotional. (I never used to be this way, a new phenonmon for me in my 40's)

I KNOW it is my hormones, where normally they are calm, now they want to scream -everything is somehow exaggerated. I tend to want more physical attention during this time, this calms me down. I want more of something on HIS part. 

Read this article with your husband tonight - there is phyiscal proof from brain scans that our brains go through a change during this time, it affects our emotions terribly, more severly for some. After reading some of THESE severe cases, yours may seem mild in comparison! The Amen Clinics 

I think KNOWING this will pass in a few days, that what we FEEL is "reality" --it really isn't!! Telling ourselves our brains are ACTING UP AGAIN, somehow this can help us deal with it better. 

Some women get really upset if a man says "You must be pmsing" but why! If it is true, admit it is true, so what. Just like men, they get hormonal too, they WANT Sex and they want it badly, they get antsy, even a little angry when they are pushed aside, just as this may annoy some women, so for us to put up with each other during these highly hormonal times and bear with one another, forgiving after the fact, even being able to make light of it (we generally do) -this will only help in marraige.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I don't think everyone needs treated for PMS, some may if it is really severe, like those examples in that link, but not everyone. I know I dont need anything, I just need more of a reign on my mouth. 

Some women take St Johns Wort, this would be for the milder sufferers, even my husband doesn't feel I need that, I took 1 pill one time feeling it might ward it off, and it did, I soared through happy as ever - probably all in my mind! Placebo effect. 

I think Greenpearl is fine, just mentioning that she gets some low spirits & makes a comment about wondering what a medicine would do -by no means -means she needs to medicate/ She IS a teacher, if this were so , it would affect her Job. I believe her husband KNOWS what is best in her situation. If she was driving him crazy, or it was affecting her in a really bad way -he would not take it that lightly. 

He sounds like a wise man to me. He reads & researches things. He has even posted on TAM before, very insightful. If Greenpearl got really depressed, she would loose interest in Sex ! Even we know , from her posts, that is not happening!! She is always upbeat on here !


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

*Re: Free Doctors!*



greenpearl said:


> He never forced me to attend his church!
> 
> You can say whatever you like!
> 
> ...


You certainly seem very worked up.  I was not arguing with you; I was merely stating my opinion. 
If you are insulted by a simple observation, you are not as wise and calm as you try to portray yourself. 
I told you that you were smart and I mentioned that as long as your marriage works for the two of you, it is good. I fail to see the insult in that. 
Every man is different and if my husband could mold me so easily, he would have no respect for me whatsoever. I do not ask Mr.G to make every little choice for me. He wanted a woman with her own mind!


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I don't think everyone needs treated for PMS, some may if it is really severe, like those examples in that link, but not everyone. I know I dont need anything, I just need more of a reign on my mouth.
> I'm glad that you understand yourself.
> Some women take St Johns Wort, this would be for the milder sufferers, even my husband doesn't feel I need that, I took 1 pill one time feeling it might ward it off, and it did, I soared through happy as ever - probably all in my mind! Placebo effect. I like the Tylenol Menstrual. I only take it if I am very moody. For example, I have PMS this week. Consequently, I was weepy last night and today. Instead of running to the pill bottle, I simply reminded myself that I was hormonal and that it would pass.
> 
> ...


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I'm anti psych meds unless necessary but only because I think they are often taken when a change in lifestyle or thoughtful insight could do the trick. Of course, there are times they are helpful, especially in the case of psychosis and other severe mental illnesses. I think often it's trading one problem for another and patients aren't warned properly about the possible side effects. It's not like other medical practices where there are clear tests. They have no true idea why many of the drugs do work. I believe a psych patient needs to be in counseling with a psychologist/psychiatrist team for several months before the psychiatrist should offer psychotropic drugs.

My husband is not behind this my personal experience is but we do happen to agree on this and for that I'm thankful. They'd love to medicate you for just about every symptom in the US these days and don't forget...drug companies make a killing off of many of these ambiguous drugs.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

*Re: Free Doctors!*



Mrs.G said:


> You certainly seem very worked up.  I was not arguing with you; I was merely stating my opinion.
> If you are insulted by a simple observation, you are not as wise and calm as you try to portray yourself.
> I told you that you were smart and I mentioned that as long as your marriage works for the two of you, it is good. I fail to see the insult in that.
> Every man is different and if my husband could mold me so easily, he would have no respect for me whatsoever. I do not ask Mr.G to make every little choice for me. He wanted a woman with her own mind!


As much as I like to help you, you have to help yourself! 

I have been reading your posts for quite a while, very often I see your disrespectful posts, or misinterpret other people's meaning. You can state your opinion, but mind your tongue and your words. 

And this is my mind! 

My mind is to respect my husband. My mind is to show thorough respect to people I talk to! No name calling, no personal insults! 

I still have a lot of areas I need to work on, nobody is perfect, and they will never achieve perfection as long as they are human!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Trenton said:


> I'm anti psych meds unless necessary but only because I think they are often taken when a change in lifestyle or thoughtful insight could do the trick. Of course, there are times they are helpful, especially in the case of psychosis and other severe mental illnesses. I think often it's trading one problem for another and patients aren't warned properly about the possible side effects. It's not like other medical practices where there are clear tests. They have no true idea why many of the drugs do work. I believe a psych patient needs to be in counseling with a psychologist/psychiatrist team for several months before the psychiatrist should offer psychotropic drugs.
> 
> My husband is not behind this my personal experience is but we do happen to agree on this and for that I'm thankful. They'd love to medicate you for just about every symptom in the US these days and don't forget...drug companies make a killing off of many of these ambiguous drugs.


From a book I read, the doctors say that the symptoms of most of the patients they treat are not that serious, but people's worries and anxiety make it worse. Good doctors don't just give pills, they actually have to help their patients understand their problems and why they are sick like this. Usually emotional worries and anxieties cause physical sickness. 

People who have stomachaches are stressed. 

People who have heart diseases and high blood pressure are usually angry. 

Pills doctors give to those people who think they are depressed are usually Vitamins. And about 70% of those people are not depressed at all. 

I am all for medical treatment if the person is truly mentally imbalanced, like you said!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I don't think everyone needs treated for PMS, some may if it is really severe, like those examples in that link, but not everyone. I know I dont need anything, I just need more of a reign on my mouth.
> 
> Some women take St Johns Wort, this would be for the milder sufferers, even my husband doesn't feel I need that, I took 1 pill one time feeling it might ward it off, and it did, I soared through happy as ever - probably all in my mind! Placebo effect.
> 
> ...


SA, 

I understand why you have a lot of friends, you always talk with a sound mind!  I don't see you have any radical opinions! 

Talking to peaceful people brings you peace! 

Thanks for the wonderful words about my husband! 

I am tired of people calling him a dictator or a control freak! 

He is helpful, he is considerate and affectionate. 

My respect for him and taking his advice have brought me tremendous blessing! 

I understand why I don't care much about material stuff, living in a happy marriage is worth much more that the material things you can have. 

I think you have the same feeling!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> From a book I read, the doctors say that the symptoms of most of the patients they treat are not that serious, but people's worries and anxiety make it worse. Good doctors don't just give pills, they actually have to help their patients understand their problems and why they are sick like this. Usually emotional worries and anxieties cause physical sickness.
> 
> People who have stomachaches are stressed.
> 
> ...


They aren't giving out vitamins, they're prescribing serious medications that have very serious side effects and often do so after one interview with a patient.

Imagine having heart problems and going to a doctor and he asked you a few things and then prescribed a drug that had side effects and may or may not fix your issue. It's a darn shame.

I didn't address your husband because I didn't feel the need to. You are obviously not unhappy and feel secure and safe in your relationship. I can't find anything to address. Certainly my husband has taught me things and suggested things I took to heart because I trust his opinions as well. No worries.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Trenton said:


> They aren't giving out vitamins, they're prescribing serious medications that have very serious side effects and often do so after one interview with a patient.


:iagree:


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

mswren7 said:


> But despite that, do any of you ladies have any advice about dealing with PMS or advice that you could share about how you cope during this time, or if it even affects you.


There's usually two days where it really affects me physically - bad cramps, hot and cold sweats, makes it hard to function. Mood wise I'm fine unless my H is having an unsympathetic moment and tells me 'other women have to get on with it' at which point he better run, and fast!! Okay, I'm partly kidding about him needing to run. If he makes sure the kitchen is stocked with chocolate, we're good.

I have found that when I'm eating particularly healthy, exercising, and all those general good life things, it's less cumbersome. I saw St. John's Wart has been mentioned. This is a good idea. I'll add Rosehip tea, burning geranium essential oil (not fragrant oil, but the pure oil, read up on how to use if needed) can also help balance the mood.



mswren7 said:


> I am starting to think that I need to go away for a few days when this starts happening as I turn into some sort of uncontrollable hormonal wreck. Taking the contraceptive pill continuously seems to work somewhat, it's just when I stop it and take the sugar pills that this monster in me emerges.
> 
> Any advice appreciated. Thanks.


I feel for ya. Good luck.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

*Free.*

Green, I am free to write what I choose, just as you can react to it the way you like. It is very controlling of you to try to moderate my posts. If you find my posts disrespectful, why read and respond to them? :scratchhead: That is what the "block user" function is for. 

If everyone who was ever disrespectful on TAM stopped posting, there would be very few members left. I find some people on here rude and unhelpful, but I never tell them what to post because free speech is a given in an open forum. FWIW, you do insult people in a covert manner by suggesting that they whine and complain, as well as saying they do not have "real" problems.  

I will help you by reminding you not to believe all that you read. I wonder who wrote that book you were reading, which incorrectly stated that doctors give out vitamins. :rofl:

We all have many things to work on. I admire those that recognize this and try to improve. I have a therapist and we are working on raising my self esteem, as well as replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. That is the way that I help myself; I do not pester you for help at all. She told me that our marriage is not normal because it is so happy and solid. My therapist is used to seeing people in unhappy relationships. 

If you are happy with your husband, that is wonderful for the two of you. If *you *know that your husband is not a dictator, why should it bother you what strangers on the internet think? I would only advise you to look at the reasons people keep saying that your husband is a control freak. If more than one person keeps repeating the same sentiment, it means that there must be some truth to it. 

Enjoy your marriage and your life the way you see fit. :smthumbup:


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

The PMS has gotten so bad that I have stayed home from work today. Call me weak, but I could not drag myself in.

I am in pain, my body feels weak, my breasts and face are swollen with water. I also feel very tired, despite going to bed early last night. My stomach is queasy and aching. The crying spells are out of control.

I cannot take natural herbs because I am already on the meds Greenpearl denounced. I feel that meds should be a last resort; I was given medication at 17 when I became very depressed. All I really needed was a happy home environment and not to be abused. I was also grieving the loss of a little boy I loved.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Mrs.G said:


> The PMS has gotten so bad that I have stayed home from work today. Call me weak, but I could not drag myself in.
> 
> I am in pain, my body feels weak, my breasts and face are swollen with water. I also feel very tired, despite going to bed early last night. My stomach is queasy and aching. The crying spells are out of control.
> 
> I cannot take natural herbs because I am already on the meds Greenpearl denounced. I feel that meds should be a last resort; I was given medication at 17 when I became very depressed. All I really needed was a happy home environment and not to be abused. I was also grieving the loss of a little boy I loved.


I wouldn't call you weak...... I'd pass the tissues, chocolate, and ice-cream your way. On a healthier tip, I have heard bananas are good for cramps.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Aww thanks mama. I went to the doctor...he gave me some naproxen sodium, which is an anti inflammatory for the bloating and pain. He says I cannot have a glass of wine or anything with caffeine.  Bleh! I wanted a glass of light white!

My husband bought me some flowers, a trashy magazine and some cheesecake. :smthumbup: He also tried to pick a fight with me....I told Mr.G that picking fights with a woman who is PMSing can be fatal.  I pretended to breathe fire at him and we started laughing again.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Actually, I read an article yesterday, some women have mild PMS, some women have more severe problems, the reason is every month we release eggs, if we don't get pregnant, the eggs burst out open, then our body produces less female hormone, this female hormone is anti depression or whatever, it helps us balance! 

For some people who have severe problems, they do need to see doctors and get meds. 

But for emotional problems, we still have to resolve it by other ways, medicine doesn't solve the root problems, I dislike the attitude resolving everything by taking meds. Medicine doesn't help us forgive other people, medicine doesn't control our tongue and mouth! Medicine doesn't help us get along with others! 




I believe a husband and wife are supposed to build each other up instead of bringing each other down, encouraging instead of discouraging, helping instead of tearing, understanding instead of blaming! If people think that my husband is a dictator or a control freak, I am happily let him dictate me or control me, it's my honor and luck to have such a wonderful and loving husband dictate me! Feel so great! Love is pouring out just by thinking of his love and help to me! (more explanation, I let him veto my clothes choice, he was called a dictator. I said that he didn't let me go to a doctor because I was in low spirit, he was called a control freak, just ask yourself, what is a dictator and what is a control freak? Will a dictator and a control freak happily lie down on the bed and let his wife have sex with him at any time she wants, once a day, three times a day, at any time she wants! Will a dictator or a control freak encourage his wife to take dance classes or art classes? Will a dictator or a control freak take his wife everywhere she wants to go to! Will a dictator or a control freak let his wife give money to her family or friends whenever she wants to? Will a dictator or a control freak do his best to make his wife smile and laugh? )

My first thirty years were like hell until I met my husband, his patience, love and observation has helped me understand myself, because of him, I started to examine myself and work on myself by reading spiritual books, and what I have done has helped me achieve final peace. I am grateful for what my husband has done for me, to him, I only have love and respect!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Mrs.G

Talk About Marriage - View Profile: Boker

My husband is Boker on TAM, if you want to find out he is a control freak or not, you can check his posts!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

greenpearl said:


> Talking to peaceful people brings you peace!


Hey Greenpearl, I can't help but say this, I know we have chatted about this. I know you love the peaceful posters. And me, well, I enjoy a little conflict ! Peace is sweet but I accually enjoy getting pissed off sometimes, it helps me WRITE better, ha ha. Serioiusly, people getting upset does not bother me too much, insult me, criticize me, I like the challenge to see if we can find any common ground, and come out of it with some understanding. 

I think you & Mrs G have a tremendous amount in common accually- with how you both treat your husbands , being good wives. 

Best to not get too defensive when one says something out of character too fast- we ALL do this from time to time. Heck, I even ticked an original poster off royally a few weeks ago- he slandered me up & down because of something I said -and thinking about it, he was right ! I jumped the gun on an assumption, setting myself up for him to defend himself. But he never came back. I like when people continue to communcate NOT resorting to blocking each other . That for me would be the most "unpeaceful" thing to do. 

Just my 2 cents on this one. Believe me, we all have our bad moments, after all this is the PMS thread, probably why!


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Hey Greenpearl, I can't help but say this, I know we have chatted about this. I know you love the peaceful posters. And me, well, I enjoy a little conflict ! Peace is sweet but I accually enjoy getting pissed off sometimes, it helps me WRITE better, ha ha. Serioiusly, people getting upset does not bother me too much, insult me, criticize me, I like the challenge to see if we can find any common ground, and come out of it with some understanding. For the record, I was not expecting Greenpearl to be so angry and defensive about what I wrote. I also said more than once that if she is happy with her marriage, what I say means nothing.
> 
> I think you & Mrs G have a tremendous amount in common accually- with how you both treat your husbands , being good wives. I treat my husband with respect and I am good at admitting when I am wrong and trying to do better.
> 
> ...


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

*For the LAST time!*



greenpearl said:


> Mrs.G
> 
> Talk About Marriage - View Profile: Boker
> 
> My husband is Boker on TAM, if you want to find out he is a control freak or not, you can check his posts!


Greenpearl, did you actually see me use the words "dictator" or "control freak"? *I know I did not*. Please do not put words in my mouth. 

I am so done with this subject. When I read your husband's posts, it sounds like both of you are happy with your marriage. I will say it one last time: IF YOU ARE HAPPY, THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. 

Every man is different. Mr.G knows that I have had controlling and abusive boyfriends, so he is very mindful of not sounding bossy. For example, he has told me that dressing scantily is for single women. Mr.G does not want his wife on display.

I dress more conservatively because I _choose _to help my husband feel more comfortable. He could not veto my revealing clothing, because I would have told him to eff off. It is all about delivery: "I hope that you refrain from wearing skimpy clothes" vs "You cannot wear skimpy clothes. I forbid it."

My husband trusts my judgement about handling my issues. _He _does not have the power to _choose _how I handle my problems; I am an adult, not his daughter.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Who ARE you people? I have literally never had PMS and even my husband is like "Really?, you are about to have your period?" 
Okay, that's it! I want PMS. I want to crave chocolate and ice cream, things I don't but really love the smell of. Damnit!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Hey Greenpearl, I can't help but say this, I know we have chatted about this. I know you love the peaceful posters. And me, well, I enjoy a little conflict ! Peace is sweet but I accually enjoy getting pissed off sometimes, it helps me WRITE better, ha ha. Serioiusly, people getting upset does not bother me too much, insult me, criticize me, I like the challenge to see if we can find any common ground, and come out of it with some understanding.


SA, 

You have something I really have to work on! 

You don't let people's insult affect you! 

I have this problem! 

I only talk well with people who are polite, I don't feel like talking to people who are rude! 

I am a conflict avoider, I am not a confronter. 

TAM is actually helping me confront people, this doesn't happen in real life. 

You remember last year's FUN? I learned a lot by confronting others( You know who I am talking about)!

You are right, by facing conflicts, I learned a lot! 

But very often I get disappointed that I try to talk facts, and people just jump into conclusion and throw insults because they disagree. 

Even friends, you don't agree with them all the time, you find yourself agree with them in some areas, then you find yourself disagree with them in some areas. You don't agree with them in all areas. I give people respect for disagreeing with me, I don't think I attack them or anything when I disagree with them. But I fail to see this from some others.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Mrs.G,

Dictator was called by somebody else, SA knows who she is!

By the way, I want to dress up attractive for my husband, the best way for me to do is to let him tell me what he likes me to wear and what looks great on me, he has a great taste of clothes. I don't wear anything revealing, but I wear a lot of tight things now, they flatter my body, and my husband gets wild when he is behind me! My bum gets spanked or pinched a lot by him! I get a lot of sex because of dressing up sexy for HIM!


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

:lol::lol::lol: No, you do not want PMS.  It turns women into snarling beasts who cry because there are no cookies.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> SA,
> 
> You have something I really have to work on!
> 
> ...


I am much the same way as you! Yah, we can stand together united, then. I find your posts refreshing. There's enough nay-sayers and angry people in this world, so I'm all for the peace-keepers! 

I think it's a little bit too easy for people to lose their common courtesy to their fellow man/woman when they are on an anonymous forum like this - something everybody should remember. I still believe you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Enchantment said:


> I am much the same way as you! Yah, we can stand together united, then. I find your posts refreshing. There's enough nay-sayers and angry people in this world, so I'm all for the peace-keepers!
> 
> I think it's a little bit too easy for people to lose their common courtesy to their fellow man/woman when they are on an anonymous forum like this - something everybody should remember. I still believe you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.


:iagree: 

Sometimes some people think they win if they speak louder! They don't mind stabbing people with swords because it doesn't hurt them! 

I don't like hurting people! 

I used to let people hurt me a lot, I sucked up the pain and let it hurt me for days, for weeks, even for years! Now I haven't learned to confront people when people hurt me, so I avoid a lot of people in real life, I only talk to people who I trust and love! SA really has something I have to work on! She knows how not to get hurt when confronting people, she always has a mild tone!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Who ARE you people? I have literally never had PMS and even my husband is like "Really?, you are about to have your period?"
> Okay, that's it! I want PMS. I want to crave chocolate and ice cream, things I don't but really love the smell of. Damnit!


show off  

Although my moods aren't affected, sore breasts, cramps, wanting to curl up under a blanket and hibernate until it passes while eating a bar of dark chocolate is not something to envy. I don't think my friends relate to this either. It's bad that I actually feel good to read others suffer too (insert evil laugh). I vote those who suffer with moods should get a Darth Vader mask and scare the crap out of their husbands each month. Or, maybe that's just funny to me? ;p


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I don't want anyone to think I don't like "peace", ultimately Peace should be our goal with others. Haven't you ever watched a movie where 2 people VILIFY each other, for whatever reason, but they come together at the end-after much striving, misunderstanding, making that glorious peace with each other- I cry every single time, it is VERY moving. I love drama. 

I am just a Debator at heart, conflict is part of the process, it forces me to keep learning, questioning & sharpening myself. 

It is SO EASY to get offended on Online forums, you put yourself out there, and someone steps on your toes. Most of the time, it is not even that personal, just a word spoken too hastily in a moment - and it ends up like a snow ball rolling downhill to the size of a angry snow man. 

We have to remember ALL Of US speak out of our own experiences. For Mrs G, she was abused so for her, submission meant pain. I probably prefer conflict instead of shunning cause , for me, there is hope in reconciliation in that, whereas the other = the death of understanding another. 

Greenpearl, it is good you are hanging in there. I am a forum lover-even since I got the net, I have enjoyed them. A pasttime of mine. I used to get "beat up" on Chrisitians forums sometimes talking about History, doctrines, some of the facts that are not so kind. I used to get REALLY upset, tell my husband all about it when he got home , and he would keep asking me why do I keep going back there! But I did, like a moth to a flame, I wanted to reason with these people ticking me off. It really was a great waste of my time. I am weird like this. It is almost like a game to me, can I challenge them to see where I am coming from, can they open their minds. Who will give up first, I have gotten banned doing this. Ha ha


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

heartsbreaking said:


> Although my moods aren't affected, sore breasts, cramps, wanting to curl up under a blanket and hibernate until it passes while eating a bar of dark chocolate is not something to envy.


For me, only about once every couple years do I get cramps a little bad where I might have to lay down for a moment. I was always very thankful for this. I think I only bought Midol once in my life. I recall one time having to call off work, not sure why that episode was so bad. 

I generally get a few headaches and it affects my moods like a revolving hamster wheel stuck on something that doesn't really bother me at all or very little the rest of the month. It completely takes us out of our normal minds ! And even though I KNOW this, I still feel so strongly in my irritation when I am pmsing. 

God help our men to put up with us.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

*Feel amazing!*

Amen, SA! I am good at warning my husband when the PMS is starting.

I feel amazing today...it is great what sleeping and cheesecake can do! LOL I'll be back at work today.

I wish that I could go back on Depo Provera....it takes my period away, so no PMS. I cannot take the shot again because it makes me fat and irritable. As soon as I stopped getting shot up with hormones to prevent pregnancy, I lost all that weight.

Wives and husbands should ideally submit to each other. For example, we are buying furniture for our bedroom. I have a lot of ideas of what to buy and how I want the bedroom to look. Last night, I was showing Mr.G what I wanted to get and asked his opinion. He said: "I don't care. It is up to you." I am not the only person that lives here, so it would have been inconsiderate just do what I wanted. 

I understand what Greenpearl is saying, when she mentions the "heavy chest feeling." I used to scream and bulldoze people with my anger-nobody liked that, especially my husband. I was acting just like my mother. Now I do not yell, unless being polite has not worked. I am more apt to smile tightly and tell my husband: "That makes me very angry. Please do NOT do that anymore." 

I also make a joke out of my anger and make funny threats such as "Listen Mr.G....if you don't do what I want, I am going to blow up your car. " :rofl::rofl: He loved the "fire breathing dragon" I pretended to be last night with my PMS. :smthumbup:


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Mrs.G,
> 
> Dictator was called by somebody else, SA knows who she is!
> 
> By the way, I want to dress up attractive for my husband, the best way for me to do is to let him tell me what he likes me to wear and what looks great on me, he has a great taste of clothes. I don't wear anything revealing, but I wear a lot of tight things now, they flatter my body, and my husband gets wild when he is behind me! My bum gets spanked or pinched a lot by him! I get a lot of sex because of dressing up sexy for HIM!


Yeah, I wouldn't go so far as to call your husband a dictator...that would be out of line and uncalled for. He strikes me as a caring and loving man. He reminds me of my husband..very patient and worshipping of his wife. 

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I am happy if you are happy.:smthumbup: 

I had a "friend" who was a single mom. She made a lot of negative comments about my husband and called me a "lady of leisure" because she was jealous that my husband looked after me. I stopped talking to her because I didn't need her negativity. She even said that my husband looked like a *******....her child's father had white hair and missing teeth! :rofl::rofl: 

Sometimes you make comments about your English...FWIW, I think you write excellent English. I don't know who told you that it wasn't good. :scratchhead:

How nice that you want to dress up for your husband! Since they are the main men in our lives, why not dress to attract their attention? My husband loves my curves and when I talk about losing 30 pounds, he grabs my butt or my chest and says "Noooo! I love this too much! Stay curvy!"  He also tries to bite my thighs. I get my butt spanked all the time too.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Mrs.G said:


> Yeah, I wouldn't go so far as to call your husband a dictator...that would be out of line and uncalled for. He strikes me as a caring and loving man. He reminds me of my husband..very patient and worshipping of his wife.
> 
> I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I am happy if you are happy.:smthumbup:
> 
> ...


  

What's in my mind is much more than I can express here on TAM. 

Very often I am struggling with how to write clearly what I want to say! 

I really want to share with people what I have learned in the past few years. I know clearly what people are struggling now is what I was struggling before. Insecurity, jealousy, anger, pessimism, negativity, unable to forgive(still struggling), arrogance, self-centered. I didn't lose myself totally because I still had love and kindness. I know what helped me can help people, people just need to examine themselves and understand themselves, then work on themselves. 

Zen is such a wonderful thing, it can really help us achieve peace. I am really glad for what I have done!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

So the "P" is for Permanent, isn't it?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

*Re: Feel amazing!*



Mrs.G said:


> I also make a joke out of my anger and make funny threats such as "Listen Mr.G....if you don't do what I want, I am going to blow up your car. " :rofl::rofl: He loved the "fire breathing dragon" I pretended to be last night with my PMS. :smthumbup:


This is healthy. Being able to laugh & make light of our pmsing spells, this is tension releasing for sure. Laughter is so good for our spirits. 

My kids and my husband even BAIT ME with the soul purpose to tick me off sometimes cause they LOVE my comebacks, my kids even do this when friends are here, you never know what may fly out of my mouth. I guess this would be considerd "COARSE bantering", instead of Really being angry though. Urban Dictionary: banter

We all tend to enjoy insulting each other in this manner in our house. Although my kids act like they hate each other at times, I KNOW they don't. I catch them enjoying each other too, but getting them to admit this -well that would be sacrilege to them. I think I would go crazy with boredom if everyone was always polite and mannered. Oh I would want to scream , I would have to find a new family to fit in. 

I remember growing up , my best friends Mom used to get sooo mad, her 2nd son was always doing something outragous to push her buttons, he was one handful ! I remember her taking a bat & running through the yard chasing his little butt yelling his name at the top of her lungs, he was laughing so hard, I remember thinking to myself "I LOOVVEEEEE this family - they are SO Cool". It was total chaos at times but yet so exciting!! It was not abusive, though some may think this sounds so. Once she got ahold of him, she had already ran her anger off . I forget what he did that day. It was always something new. What memoreis they had. I was so happy to be a part of that family. They are all still so very close today. They were so ALIVE, had a barrel of fun with each other. They were my heros -growing up.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I don't want anyone to think I don't like "peace", ultimately Peace should be our goal with others. Haven't you ever watched a movie where 2 people VILIFY each other, for whatever reason, but they come together at the end-after much striving, misunderstanding, making that glorious peace with each other- I cry every single time, it is VERY moving. I love drama.
> 
> I am just a Debator at heart, conflict is part of the process, it forces me to keep learning, questioning & sharpening myself.
> 
> ...


I am still here because I do see the wonderful side of this forum. I see a lot of helpful and wonderful people here. I see the good side of people here a lot. I do see the dark side of people here, but I see a lot more kind side!  

Sometimes the negativity here brings me down, it's not good for me, I want to leave! 

But this forum really helps me understand human nature. I see all kinds of people here. It has really opened my mind about people! By interacting with people on TAM, I think I have learned how to handle people in my real life!  

It has its good and bad, but such is life, it has its good and bad, you will never have anything perfect!


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> So the "P" is for Permanent, isn't it?


:rofl:

Sometimes it probably seems that way for both sexes!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

*Re: Feel amazing!*



SimplyAmorous said:


> This is healthy. Being able to laugh & make light of our pmsing spells, this is tension releasing for sure. Laughter is so good for our spirits.
> 
> My kids and my husband even BAIT ME with the soul purpose to tick me off sometimes cause they LOVE my comebacks, my kids even do this when friends are here, you never know what may fly out of my mouth. I guess this would be considerd "COARSE bantering", instead of Really being angry though. Urban Dictionary: banter
> 
> ...


I have no happy memories of my childhood! 

My husband has quite a lot! 

Once he hid under the step, his mom came down the steps, turned and walked past where he was hiding, then he reached out and grabbed her leg and hollered, she just about sh*t herself, she was screaming and screaming! 

He was always a clown at his family, they really miss him!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> So the "P" is for Permanent, isn't it?


Ha ha. I tell my husband he has PMS because about once every three weeks he goes nuts looking for chocolate and cookies in the pantry at like 11:30 at night and will hop in his car and go get some if we don't have any. Never seen anything like it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Manopause.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> So the "P" is for Permanent, isn't it?


Not in my world. I loathe pms and am fighting it. I refuse to be controlled by my hormones.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I had to ask, semi seriously. My wife claimed she was on a 21 day cycle which, I guess is possible. But it left even in a good month, about 90 minutes where we wasn't trying to nail me with a waffle iron.


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