# Stressed out!



## SUZIWORD

As I stated earlier my husband and I are reconciling and things seem to be going pretty good. But of course like I stated in my earlier post my family is not happy about it at all. So, I have taken the stance I will not discuss my life with him with them. They are on a need to know basis which really that is the way it should be. So, Saturday night I (really it was me) did something very stupid and my H called me on it and of course we did fight and it got pretty intense and lots of drama....my family member calls during all of this and hears all the drama and gets involved.....so texting between him and her pursue....and then I find out yesterday she goes to my mothers and tells her part of the story (the part about us fighting and him yelling and his texts) not the whole story, b/c if she did that it would also implicate her.....So, she calls to tell me what she did and I told her that she is never to talk about my relationship with my H with anyone ever! She is upset with me now and I am sure there is going to be more drama...

I guess my question is without cutting my family entirely off....how in the heck do you get out of family drama...how can you make it stop. My H and I were up this morning at 2 AM rationally talking about everything good discuss, but how do you stop family and friends from getting into your affairs? How do you stop the drama? How do you stop the gossiping? I just want to live my life and do what makes us happy together. 

I truly don't want to cut my family off. I am all my mother really has left. She has not relationship at all with my brother and his wife (b/c my brother got tired of her controlling ways and said no more), my sister passed away (committed suicide) and so there is just me, which I am always told you are all I have left. 

What do you do how do you make them see?!? (sorry long post). I am just so tired. I just want to have peace. 

Thanks for listening!


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## SUZIWORD

And on a side note....I was VERY VERY drunk and of course you can not rationalize or even fight with a drunk person.


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## pacmouse

Ugh! I feel your pain!! Dealing with my family (mother, brothers etc.)has been one of the hardest parts to deal with after my H and I reconciled. They all have an opinion...and I can understand that. I however, draw the line when they intentionally try and start trouble between us. Also, the thing that really bothers me is, NONE of them are in the position to judge...that fact is laughable.

Stay strong!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

But he didn't need to respond to her texts. 

By doing so, he stirred the shet.


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## colour-me-confused

My family is not overly pleased about my reconcilliation either. I can't cut my family out of my life but i had to be firm with them. I told my mom that I did not expect her to agree with every choice i make but i would like her to be behind me any way. There have been so many times in life where I disagreed with what she or my sister or Dad did but I supported them any way. It helped somewhat just to have that discussion.
As for gossip ... you can't stop it. You just have to ignore it and keep on living your life for yourself and doing what is right for you. You can't worry about what everyone else thinks about what you do. they are not the ones who have to live your life.


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## SUZIWORD

I didn't want to start a new thread, b/c its still somewhat of a contiuation of the others.....

My H and I are doing fine we have discussed things and are communicating with each other about things. 

But the saga continues....my son who has been gone for 4.5 years (military) will be moving home tomorrow and guess where he is going to live? Yep with his grandma which is fine, but they are going to have lunch Sunday and my H is off which means I can go but he can't go. So, do I go do I stay with him, what is right, what is wrong? 

They don't want to make it easy and part of me really wants to be a B**CH and just tell them okay if is so easy for you all to cut me out of your lives, then so be it! But then they are my kids and I do love them. I was the only one there for them their entire lives, really this is how you pay me back!?! I have supported them when they made dumb choices, dumb decisions even when I thought it was wrong, forgave my oldest son for literally cussing me out and telling me off and ripping me to shreds as far as I am concerned past....he was young and made a mistake! Really just b/c you don't like my H you will cut me out of your life! 

I truly understand there have been things said and discussed and I have told them every horrible detail of every single fight and the things my H said out of anger and hurt...which in turn hurt them! I get it.....but really no forgiveness. Its says in the bible to forgive 7 x 70! Even Jesus hanging on the cross said forgive them father b/c they know not what they do!

I love my H very much and he is a kind, compassionate man, yes he has a temper, yes he can fly off the handle and run his mouth when he is mad, but I wished they could see his heart like I do. 

Sorry rambling! Thanks for listening!


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## tmbirdy

I understand what you are going through with your family. My husband and I recently got back together after a brief separation during the summer. He had not been treating me right and I moved all my stuff out and got an apartment. Since we have gone to counseling and that has helped, but I did tell my 19-year-old daughter about some of the fights and she hated him when we separated. Then when we got back to together, she was upset but got over it okay. The same with my best friend. I made the mistake of saying too much and I will not go down that road again. It's probably best to keep it to yourself especially with family, but I do know it's hard when you really need to vent. We got into a fight last night and I stayed in my office/TV room and just kept quiet, although I did tell him he was selfish and did not know how to give to a relationship, which I think is true at times. I'm still pissed off, but no one else knows but me.


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## SUZIWORD

TMBirdy: Totally understand. I am having some issues of my own at the current moment. We did have a little "tiff" yesterday and I am not sure how to handle it. My son did come home and my mother had this "party" for him with others invited. Of course I could go but H couldn't. So, I didn't go. Yesterday when I found out all who was there it did hurt and told H as much. But he assumed I was taking it out on him and like I said if I can't talk to them and I can't talk to you, then who am I suppose to talk to. Of course, it turned into by him that everything is my mother's fault, which I will agree too, but really in the big scheme of things we are all to blame. We have all said stuff out of anger, hurt, etc. that shouldn't have been said. Where is the forgiveness by everyone, not just my family, but him too.


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