# A "ND" Story - May help Others :)



## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

I have never been interested in sex. With new partners, I was able to enjoy "good" feelings....for awhile, then it became a chore. I never experienced orgasm. I concluded I was ND, asexual & had anagormisa after yrs. of research, counseling, sex therapy, etc.

1st husband (married 22 yrs. - marriage ended for many reasons) did not seem to care & was such a horny devil "seemed" satisfied with only getting his own orgasms, never complained, was very vanilla & I was able to do what the asexual world refers to a "compromise."

Fast forward to 2nd Marriage. No bait & switch. My sexuality or lack thereof was completely transparent to him from day one. However, he LOVES to please women in bed....arggg.

So I tried something new.

Ordered a "magic wand" vibrator & on the first try had what I assume is a clitoral orgasm because of a feeling of blood rushing down my legs to toes & major squirting (2 towels soaked). I can do this anytime with my vibrator. It does not feel intense or very pleasurable but I am quite happy about it.

My husband was initially upset (with said vibrator) but is mature & understanding & is happy with our sex life. It helps that he is LD at this time in his life.

If he was HD, we would not have married.

Thank you for listening.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Emerald said:


> I have never been interested in sex. With new partners, I was able to enjoy "good" feelings....for awhile, then it became a chore. I never experienced orgasm. I concluded I was ND, asexual & had anagormisa after yrs. of research, counseling, sex therapy, etc.
> 
> 1st husband (married 22 yrs. - marriage ended for many reasons) did not seem to care & was such a horny devil "seemed" satisfied with only getting his own orgasms, never complained, was very vanilla & I was able to do what the asexual world refers to a "compromise."
> 
> ...


Thanks for sharing. I'm 32 and am like you were. I've never orgasmed despite masturbation and trying different things in bed. I haven't tried a vibrator because I was hoping that we could get there without "outside" help. LOL After reading your success story, I just might have to try it though.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

*Re: A "LD" Story - May help Others *

Hi momwo4!

Yes try it, discuss it with Hubs.

I am married to a sweet, sensitive man who always prided himself in his "oral" skills 

I did not want to hurt his feelings but wanted to improve our sex life, so simply ordered the wand. He was slightly offended & I put it away for awhile, so he could think about it & get used to it.

Now he happily brings "it" out, plugs it in, sets up the towels......


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

I tried to change the title of this post to "LD" after thinking about it. Also "never interested in sex" is not really accurate. I was interested but didn't feel sexual desire; just low level sexual attractiveness.

For years, I felt something was very wrong with me & all of my sexual partners agreed.

I finally accepted my LD as a part of who I am & not a defect.

Oh how I wish I was HD. Life would be so much easier! I am not in any way repulsed by sex, very open to ideas, love kissing, cuddling, intimacy & affection both giving & getting.

Once I got honest with myself, I was able to get honest with a partner. I would never bait & switch (anymore) & I only looked for a partner with a low drive & if I couldn't find one, then I planned on remaining single.

I got lucky & found one (yes girls, they are out there) & life is wonderful.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I am sure your stories will help given the statistics on the amount of women who never have had an orgasm, have low desire, and feel that they have tried everything.

But I feel for you


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## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

Emerald - it always males me feel jealous and sad when I read a post like yours....

ie a wife who isn't really interested in sex with her spouse but realises that it IS an important part of marriage therefore makes an effort - a genuine effort - to atleast try to be more intimate with their husband.

I respect you.

Sad - because I wish my wife would think like you.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

*Re: A "LD" Story - May help Others *



Emerald said:


> Hi momwo4!
> 
> ......
> 
> Now he happily brings "it" out, plugs it in, sets up the towels......











Now that love....


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Any Vibe you have to plug into the wall will always do the job. You know what they say about the Magic Wand? ...it has three speeds- low, medium and OH MY GOD!...lol

My wife and I haven't had sex for years but her Hitachi keeps her happy thank goodness, she swears by it.


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

Women have testosterone in their bodies too. A lesser amount then men. But it really helps with sexual health. Check to see if your levels are low.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Lord, if my wife had taken to wanding herself to squirting orgasms I would have been ready every night with fresh towels, a jug of gatorade, and a big smile. Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

one_strange_otter said:


> Lord, if my wife had taken to wanding herself to squirting orgasms I would have been ready every night with fresh towels, a jug of gatorade, and a big smile. Lol
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:rofl:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Just curious. Why does a woman who knows she has almost no interest in sex get married? There are other relationships that provide companionship without sex. Did your 2nd husband know he was marrying a woman who had little interest in sex? It just seems to me that a really LD person who enters in a marriage is just setting their partner up for a lifetime of lonliness, cruelty, frustration, etc. I'm just wondering why LD people do it?


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

"I'm not that interested in marriage, but I found some who's not that interested in it either, so it works!"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

There are plenty of people who are LD or asexual who get married. I'm married to an asexual man though I'm not myself asexual (and a little unsure of my drive but I'd say on the low side). There are other relationships that provide companionship without sex, and people may feel that that defines marriage, but I see the constant companionship, the physical and emotional closeness, and the vows to lead a life together (hopefully with kids) as marriage to me, and what I am happy to have. 

There are dating sites for asexuals. 

One time I asked my husband how he knew he was in love with me if he didn't have any sexual drive to aid in that decision. How am I different from any other person in the world, any friend he has? He looked at me like I was the silliest person ever and said "I don't want to cuddle with any other person in the world, I want to cuddle with you!" It made me laugh. I think you can make a choice to live a life together without sex (although it definitely has to be a joint decision) and call it marriage. I think the OP made it clear that she made her lack of desire clear and her husband still chose to marry her. His decision, not deception on her part.


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## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

one_strange_otter said:


> Lord, if my wife had taken to *wanding* herself to squirting orgasms I would have been ready every night with fresh towels, a jug of gatorade, and a big smile. Lol
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm a big fan of verbing nouns. This one will definitely have to be added to my vocabulary. :smthumbup:


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> Just curious. Why does a woman who knows she has almost no interest in sex get married? There are other relationships that provide companionship without sex. Did your 2nd husband know he was marrying a woman who had little interest in sex? It just seems to me that a really LD person who enters in a marriage is just setting their partner up for a lifetime of lonliness, cruelty, frustration, etc. I'm just wondering why LD people do it?


Go back and read her entire post.


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