# Online dating responses to messages



## firebelly1

I feel rude not responding to people who message me on online dating sites. Non-response just isn't going to be an option for me. 

So what is the polite response to these types of online dating messages? If there's one that will cover all of it, cool:

1. Message from guy who has no photo or photo where his face isn't visible. 

a. I like his profile and we chat. I ask him to send me a photo via email and I don't find him attractive. 

b. I'm not interested in his profile so have no interest.

2. Message from guy who is out of what I consider to be a desirable age range - either too young or too old?

3. Message from guy who has a photo but I just find unattractive.

4. Message from a guy with photo who I find attractive but there's something in his profile that is a deal-breaker. 

5. Message from guy who I find attractive but something in his profile is questionable.


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## SamuraiJack

You have to develop a tough skin for online dating.
Dont feel guilty about saying "No", but keep your dignity when you do.
Some people flip out, some dont.

Be patient and you might strike gold..


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## ne9907

I honestly never thought about giving them a answer. To me, we are just chatting, nothing serious, do not take it personally if I dissapear.
I feel the same way. If a guy who I have been just chatting with goes MIA, i will not care. I try not to take things personally.

However, just respond with a polite " I do not see us as being a match. I have enjoyed conversing with you."


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## firebelly1

Yes. Tough skin. Check. I've been getting better at saying no in general. In person I've been pretty good about saying "I just don't feel chemistry" but that isn't the right phrasing for online. Just looking for the least mean way to say no.


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## firebelly1

ne9907 said:


> I honestly never thought about giving them a answer. To me, we are just chatting, nothing serious, do not take it personally if I dissapear.
> I feel the same way. If a guy who I have been just chatting with goes MIA, i will not care. I try not to take things personally.
> 
> However, just respond with a polite " I do not see us as being a match. I have enjoyed conversing with you."


I really hate it when people go MIA and so I don't want to do that either. It takes courage for people to reach out. It does for me. I think I should acknowledge that somehow and I appreciate it when someone does that for me. 

I feel mean saying "I don't see us as a match" right after he's emailed a photo. Know what I mean? Cuz you are essentially saying you don't find him attractive.


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## arbitrator

*Just say, "No!" Politely say that there appears to be something within their profile that you cannot seem to identify with(without actually telling them what it is), and that while they haven't really offended you, that you feel that as a pair, that you would probably not be a very suitable match.

Then wish them the very best of luck in their search and just move on! Then if they continue to persist in attempting to contact you, just block them!*


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## 3Xnocharm

Well, first off, I would say to avoid profiles that have no pictures...dont ask for them if someone without them sends you a message, and dont message first asking for one. There is a REASON they dont have any on their profile! Its OKAY to not respond at all, it really is, and it doesnt matter what your reason is for not wanting to correspond with someone. I dont know what site you are using, but sometimes I would send one of the pre-written messages that Match had in place for a response. It said something like, after reviewing your profile, I dont feel that we are a match, but good luck!....something like that, anyway! Usually I would just not answer the email, and the few times that I initiated a message to someone first, I never got a response.


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## pragmaster

Online dating is a joke man. People are extremely vain and typically filled with insecurities. I've spent months chatting with girls only having to close the door because they are too much of a coward to meet, or never had the intention and merely wanted the attention. I have also met girls who meet at the drop of the hat; desperately. Then of course you meet them and they look nothing like their picture. I love Tinder. Screw POF. 

If I message a girl and she doesn't answer, I drop it. But that's the thing. Women seldom if EVER message men (at least in my small city). I have validated this theory through testing with my friends. In bigger cities I noticed women were much more open to meeting guys online. But not around here. Only fatties and foreigners. Sorry but it's true. 

Women probably have to say no to more ppl then men do.


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## firebelly1

pragmaster said:


> Online dating is a joke man. People are extremely vain and typically filled with insecurities. I've spent months chatting with girls only having to close the door because they are too much of a coward to meet, or never had the intention and merely wanted the attention. I have also met girls who meet at the drop of the hat; desperately. Then of course you meet them and they look nothing like their picture. I love Tinder. Screw POF.
> 
> If I message a girl and she doesn't answer, I drop it. But that's the thing. Women seldom if EVER message men (at least in my small city). I have validated this theory through testing with my friends. In bigger cities I noticed women were much more open to meeting guys online. But not around here. Only fatties and foreigners. Sorry but it's true.
> 
> Women probably have to say no to more ppl then men do.


So if you message a girl and she doesn't respond you aren't offended? I RARELY message guys and I live in a big city.


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## Arendt

3Xnocharm said:


> Well, first off, I would say to avoid profiles that have no pictures...dont ask for them if someone without them sends you a message, and dont message first asking for one. There is a REASON they dont have any on their profile! Its OKAY to not respond at all, it really is, and it doesnt matter what your reason is for not wanting to correspond with someone. I dont know what site you are using, but sometimes I would send one of the pre-written messages that Match had in place for a response. It said something like, after reviewing your profile, I dont feel that we are a match, but good luck!....something like that, anyway! Usually I would just not answer the email, and the few times that I initiated a message to someone first, I never got a response.


:iagree:


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## firebelly1

So you guys think I'm worrying too much about not responding?


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## Arendt

Yes. You don't owe anybody and they don't owe you a response from a message either. People have lives and don't respond for a myriad of reasons. If you have already been chatting though, might be best to just end it, with we are not a good match, sorry, best of luck to you, or something. I like what was said about avoiding profiles with no photos. When I was using match, I did not pay any attention to profiles with no photos. They are missing for a reason, as said. Could be the person has low self-esteem. Could be they are not the prettiest to look at or are overweight. Could be that they are afraid somebody will recognize their photo because they are testing the waters to cheat or who knows what. Avoid them.


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## Cooper

If it's someone I'm just not interested in I simply say "thanks but I don't see us as a very good match". If they reply with a nasty message I send them a "thank you for proving my point" message in return. 

The hard one is when you have been messaging for a week and realize it just isn't a good match, then I say "sorry, I think it's best if I bow out, I'm just not feeling a connection, best wishes."


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## Married but Happy

1 a: Sorry, but you're not my type.

All others: Thanks for your note, but we're not a match.


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## Holland

Yes you need a thick skin and a good SOH when OLD. It is a numbers game and usually women are bombarded with requests, I don't think the average guy knows just how many messages women get. 

I only replied to about 5% of message requests because I had no problem being in control of what I did online. There is no need to respond if you don't want to. Many men are just crunching the numbers anyway. 
I had set very tight parameters around age and location (a maximum of 15 kms away was all I was prepared to consider). 

OLD can be a heap of fun but don't take it too seriously and get weighed down with it.

As for photo or no photo I am going to disagree with the premise of not responding to those with no photo. I originally thought that way until the day Mr H sent me a message request, I was just about to move on but then took the time to read and reread his profile. It was an excellent profile, he was clearly intelligent and had an idea of who he was. I did reply and asked him why no photo, turned out he was a high level exec. and wanted some privacy. He sent me a photo and we chatted till 5am in the morning. He also has a LinkedIn profile that is visible which he sent a link to. We have been happy and thriving for 3 years and I am just so glad I took the time to read his profile and had an open mind about the no photo thing.

Good luck with it all, have fun and always be safe.


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## RandomDude

Just ignore them, next thing you know replying to messages will be your part-time job.


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## whitehawk

Mine had a list of about 12 auto replies and l noticed the girls just clicked this one in particular mostly if they weren't interested.
It just says sorry but l don't think we are a good match.
So , what's good for the goose , l just started clicking that one.

Pics , most of the girls have on their page , no pics no contact so , l did the same.I still had trouble getting pics from some though.

lf we'd been chatting and l wasn't feeling it l'd just tell them and end it there. But that was hard sometimes bc some of them seemed really decent girls.


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## pragmaster

Absolutely. 

If I message a girl, and she doesn't answer, that's it. What more can you do then pester someone not interested? Don't take it personally. 

You have to presume that these days everyone who has POF for instance has the mobile app too. So unless they turned off their notifications or don't have the app, they probably got it and aren't that interested.


Also, be different. Don't just say Hi what's up.

Be fun. Say something like; hey, i noticed you liked me...you aren't allowed! or... I'm not suppost to tell anyone I'm a spy but ...

Don't spend too much time with online dating man. And when you do, have fun with it.


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## bravenewworld

What's worked for me is ignoring the messages which do not have a picture or sufficient profile information and also ignoring extremely generic messages that have a "mass send" feel. 

With the remainder I will do a light banter, and the ones I feel chemistry with I ask to call me so we can speak within 1-3 days of initiating contact. 

The rest seem to peter out kind of naturally.....although once or twice I have had to say "Hi XXX, I've really enjoyed talking with you, but don't see us moving forward in the dating sense. Thanks for understanding, wish you well."


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## Jellybeans

_1. Message from guy who has no photo or photo where his face isn't visible._ 

Please send me a picture of your face.

_ a. I like his profile and we chat. I ask him to send me a photo via email and I don't find him attractive. _

Unmatch

_ b. I'm not interested in his profile so have no interest._

Unmatch

_2. Message from guy who is out of what I consider to be a desirable age range - either too young or too old?_

Do you want to date him? If not, unmatch.

_3. Message from guy who has a photo but I just find unattractive._

Unmatch

_4. Message from a guy with photo who I find attractive but there's something in his profile that is a deal-breaker. _

Unmatch

_5. Message from guy who I find attractive but something in his profile is questionable_

Ask him about it. If it's a dealbreaker, unmatch.

You don't have to respond to everyone just cause they reach out to you. You are allowed to pick and choose. If you want to date someone, go out with them. if you don't, unmatch them. You could either tell them why or just take them off your matches.


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## Jellybeans

firebelly1 said:


> I really hate it when people go MIA and so I don't want to do that either.
> 
> I feel mean saying "I don't see us as a match" right after he's emailed a photo. Know what I mean? Cuz you are essentially saying you don't find him attractive.


Ok. So just say "I don't think we will be compatible." Or "I am not interested." And unmatch.



firebelly1 said:


> So you guys think I'm worrying too much about not responding?


Yes.


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## Jellybeans

3Xnocharm said:


> Well, first off, I would say to avoid profiles that have no pictures...dont ask for them if someone without them sends you a message, and dont message first asking for one. There is a REASON they dont have any on their profile!


:rofl:

Share your stories, please. 

One guy told me he din't have one because then he'd get no matches. Another one said he'd email them to me (um, ok)? And someone in Singles said a woman told him she had no picture because she had a top-secret government job, and she kept blowing him off when they were supposed to go on dates. Yeah... no.


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## firebelly1

Jellybeans said:


> _
> 
> You don't have to respond to everyone just cause they reach out to you. You are allowed to pick and choose. If you want to date someone, go out with them. if you don't, unmatch them. You could either tell them why or just take them off your matches._


_

What does "unmatch" mean?_


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## arbitrator

firebelly1 said:


> What does "unmatch" mean?


*In a nutshell, cease communicating with them, or perhaps blocking them from communicating with you!*


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## Almostrecovered

firebelly1 said:


> I feel rude not responding to people who message me on online dating sites. Non-response just isn't going to be an option for me.
> 
> So what is the polite response to these types of online dating messages? If there's one that will cover all of it, cool:
> 
> 1. Message from guy who has no photo or photo where his face isn't visible.
> 
> a. I like his profile and we chat. I ask him to send me a photo via email and I don't find him attractive.
> 
> b. I'm not interested in his profile so have no interest.
> 
> 2. Message from guy who is out of what I consider to be a desirable age range - either too young or too old?
> 
> 3. Message from guy who has a photo but I just find unattractive.
> 
> 4. Message from a guy with photo who I find attractive but there's something in his profile that is a deal-breaker.
> 
> 5. Message from guy who I find attractive but something in his profile is questionable.



1a) You seem like a great guy but unfortunately you've been hit with the ugly a few too many times, friends?

1b) fat, ugly and stupid is no way to go through life

2) (too young) sorry, I don't want to buy you beer and sneak in a HJ at your mom's place (too old) I tend not to date men who have to pee more often than I do


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## firebelly1

Almostrecovered said:


> 1a) You seem like a great guy but unfortunately you've been hit with the ugly a few too many times, friends?
> 
> 1b) fat, ugly and stupid is no way to go through life
> 
> 2) (too young) sorry, I don't want to buy you beer and sneak in a HJ at your mom's place (too old) I tend not to date men who have to pee more often than I do


So the sensitive route?


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## Wolf1974

If it's a hey baby type message just ignore. If they clearly put some time into it just a quick note back saying thanks but I don't think we are a match. 

Women get a lot of emails and most guys know that. Alittle acknowledgement that least you saw the message and just weren't interstetd is appreciated by many of us.

Online dating is not for the weak. Can be soul crushing if you let it.


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## whitehawk

l found it awkward when they'd send me a picture but straight away l'd know l wasn't attracted to them. 
As someone above was saying , it's basically just telling them as soon as you've seen their pic , sorry , don't like ya.

One girl started arguing with me. Told me l was shallow and there's more to a person than just looks , how would l know just from a photo , ra ra ra .


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## TheGoodGuy

whitehawk said:


> l found it awkward when they'd send me a picture but straight away l'd know l wasn't attracted to them.
> As someone above was saying , it's basically just telling them as soon as you've seen their pic , sorry , don't like ya.
> 
> One girl started arguing with me. Told me l was shallow and there's more to a person than just looks , how would l know just from a photo , ra ra ra .


Been struggling with that one myself WH.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## firebelly1

whitehawk said:


> l found it awkward when they'd send me a picture but straight away l'd know l wasn't attracted to them.
> As someone above was saying , it's basically just telling them as soon as you've seen their pic , sorry , don't like ya.
> 
> One girl started arguing with me. Told me l was shallow and there's more to a person than just looks , how would l know just from a photo , ra ra ra .


Which is why it might be good just to avoid talking to people without a photo in their profile, right?


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## 3Xnocharm

firebelly1 said:


> Which is why it might be good just to avoid talking to people without a photo in their profile, right?


Exactly!!


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## lenzi

firebelly1 said:


> I feel rude not responding to people who message me on online dating sites. Non-response just isn't going to be an option for me.


Attractive women get as many as 100s of messages per week.

Obviously you cannot respond to all those messages, your time is better spent elsewhere.

Either you haven't been online dating for very long or you're just not attracting that many guys- in which case the handful of messages you're going to get can easily be answered with a canned response such as "based on your profile I don't believe we'd be a match, but thanks for your interest".

Edited to add- I checked your back posts and you've been dating for a while. So I guess it's a matter of you just not getting all that many messages. You seem to be frustrated with your online dating attempts- perhaps a profile review is in order. Or maybe you're being a bit too selective and basing your rejections of guys on a few bad pictures?


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## EnjoliWoman

Obviously I'm not an attractive woman. I usually got around 20 a week.

I always replied, even if it was a canned "thank you but I don't see us as a good match". The only ones I ignored were the ones who couldn't do me the courtesy of typing more than "hi sexy" or if they asked for pics (I had a wide variety) or don't have pictures.

There are only 3 reasons someone doesn't post photos. Either they are unattractive, married or have a high profile job. 99% of the time it's one of the first two. I've only had one guy contact me who was high profile and he said in his very first email that he didn't post a photo because he's recognizable in his field but he'd be happy to send one and gave his stats on height/weight/general appearance.


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## Twistedheart

EnjoliWoman said:


> Obviously I'm not an attractive woman.


False.

But nice response to that upper post! lol


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## PAgirl

How about when the guy's pictures are average looking. So I decide to give him a chance (trying to be open minded). We chat a lot and exchange numbers so we can text. Then he gave me his full name so then out of curiosity , I look him up on facebook. And now seeing more pictures, I really find him very unattractive :-( I am disappointed because he has an awesome personality and we seem to have a lot in common. Now for me to disappear at this point would be rude. But I have been texting him much less. Im not sure what to say if he asks me on a date...

Sometimes I wonder if the BEST guys are the ones not too attractive.


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## lenzi

EnjoliWoman said:


> Obviously I'm not an attractive woman. I usually got around 20 a week.


At least you've got a manageable number of messages!



EnjoliWoman said:


> There are only 3 reasons someone doesn't post photos. Either they are unattractive, married or have a high profile job.


Only 3? I can think of at least 6 more right off the bat. 

They've been stalked or harassed online and want to keep a low profile (pun intended), or they're testing the waters and/or are afraid to put their picture on the internet, or they're in a relationship and don't want to get caught by their significant other, or they're embarrassed about being on an online dating site, or they live in a small town and would prefer not to be recognized, or maybe they do undercover work for a law enforcement agency..



EnjoliWoman said:


> 99% of the time it's one of the first two.


How do you get such exact statistics?


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## PAgirl

lenzi said:


> Attractive women get as many as 100s of messages per week.


This is definitely not true!!


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## lenzi

PAgirl said:


> This is definitely not true!!


Ok I google searched on "how many messages do attractive women get on dating sites".

Seems like an attractive women gets 40-50 messages per week but I've seen a few reports of upwards of 100 or more per week although that seems to be the exception.


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## movealong

lenzi said:


> Ok I google searched on "how many messages do attractive women get on dating sites".
> 
> Seems like an attractive women gets 40-50 messages per week but I've seen a few reports of upwards of 100 or more per week although that seems to be the exception.


I am very selective when I message attractive women. I know my area VERY well, and when a woman is from one of the "well off" areas I tend not to message her. Why? My experience has been that they are more focused on money than relationships. 

I also won't message if travel is one of their priorities, lol! I have an 11 year old and travel right now is just not in the cards. :rofl:


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## lenzi

movealong said:


> I am very selective when I message attractive women.


You might be selective but most guys aren't. I only date attractive women, and when I've been actively online dating I'll usually go through 2 dozen profiles before I'll stop at a profile because she's good looking (to me). 

The women I have dated tell me they're bombarded with messages, some of them had given up on online dating for a while, or they were becoming increasingly frustrated having to deal with the volume of messages from mostly loser guys.

Lucky for them, they met me and I restored their faith in online dating.


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## Almostrecovered

I just spit up my coffee


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## movealong

lenzi, I can tell you have self esteem issues, lol! You may want to work on that.


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## Holland

The volume of messages would have something to do with location, I am an average, attractive woman and was getting dozens of messages, winks or whatever the particular site had, per day. But I live in a large city and am in a sought after demographic for online dating. So yes it is true, some women d get bombarded but as I said earlier it is a numbers game and TBH only a small % of the men were of any interest to me.


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## EnjoliWoman

lenzi said:


> At least you've got a manageable number of messages!
> 
> 
> 
> Only 3? I can think of at least 6 more right off the bat.
> 
> They've been stalked or harassed online and want to keep a low profile (pun intended), or they're testing the waters and/or are afraid to put their picture on the internet, or they're in a relationship and don't want to get caught by their significant other, or they're embarrassed about being on an online dating site, or they live in a small town and would prefer not to be recognized, or maybe they do undercover work for a law enforcement agency..
> 
> 
> 
> How do you get such exact statistics?


My personal experience.  Come on, it's obvious I'm not citing a professionally conducted study complete with control groups. This is a casual exchange in this thread. 

The law enforcement is a valid reason which I lump with high profile and although I specified "married", if we want to split hairs, how about "committed"? Bottom line - they are already in a relationship that is presumed by the other person to be monogamous.

Other than that, I don't see the other reasons as being valid. They shouldn't be embarrassed (I'm not), they can't accurately test the waters without a photo and if they are afraid to put their picture on the internet then my best guess is they are a wee bit paranoid. What are they afraid of? Disapproval? Getting ribbed? To be of interest to ME, which is what I'm addressing here, he would have to have enough balls to be able to calmly deflect any unwanted comments about his choice to participate in on-line dating.

I understand why people here don't - they are discussing very personal issues, a lot of which aren't resolved and therefore anonymity is important.

So still, out of all of those scenarios, I would not entertain contact with someone without a photo unless it's for professional reasons like the one guy who explained in his very first email. He was a high ranking Naval officer and we went out once but there was no chemistry and our personal values were different enough that it wouldn't have worked.


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## EnjoliWoman

movealong said:


> I am very selective when I message attractive women. I know my area VERY well, and when a woman is from one of the "well off" areas I tend not to message her. Why? My experience has been that they are more focused on money than relationships.
> 
> I also won't message if travel is one of their priorities, lol! I have an 11 year old and travel right now is just not in the cards. :rofl:


Would women near your age also have kids that would be a roadblock to travel? Would you enjoy travel once the kid is out of highschool? A lot of people like going places and if you do, too, but it's just not practical right now, it might still be worth considering one of those women.


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## movealong

EnjoliWoman said:


> Would women near your age also have kids that would be a roadblock to travel? Would you enjoy travel once the kid is out of highschool? A lot of people like going places and if you do, too, but it's just not practical right now, it might still be worth considering one of those women.


Most women my age do not have children in junior high school. Most of them have grown children that are no longer living at home and/or have grandchildren. My boys from my first marriage are grown, but there are just not a lot of 45-55 year old women (my range) that have children near her age. Most are "transitioning" to empty nest status and are ready for the "next phase" of their life. I have had to expand my range to include 35 and up so that there are women willing to date a guy my age with a younger child. 

I did hit it off really well with a 41 y/o last night, to the point of exchanging numbers and talking on the phone. But even with her the oldest is on his own and the younger one is a Senior in high school. At 49 (next month), I have yet to find more than 1 or 2 women that have kids close to my daughter's age and attractive to me.


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## Jellybeans

EnjoliWoman said:


> They shouldn't be embarrassed (I'm not), they can't accurately test the waters without a photo and if they are afraid to put their picture on the internet then my best guess is they are a wee bit paranoid. What are they afraid of? Disapproval? Getting ribbed? To be of interest to ME, which is what I'm addressing here, he would have to have enough balls to be able to calmly deflect any unwanted comments about his choice to participate in on-line dating.
> 
> So still, out of all of those scenarios, I would not entertain contact with someone without a photo unless it's for professional reasons like the one guy who explained in his very first email.


:iagree:

I bypass the no-pics-people. Why should I be sharing my picture with you and you can't do the same for me? No, thanks. Not interested. Goodbye.


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## Morgiana

Jellybeans said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I bypass the no-pics-people. Why should I be sharing my picture with you and you can't do the same for me? No, thanks. Not interested. Goodbye.


I was cyber stalked by my ex before he was my ex... I'm still harassed by my ex. No way in heck would I put up a face pic of myself anywhere where I don't want him to find me...


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## EnjoliWoman

movealong said:


> Most women my age do not have children in junior high school. Most of them have grown children that are no longer living at home and/or have grandchildren. My boys from my first marriage are grown, but there are just not a lot of 45-55 year old women (my range) that have children near her age. Most are "transitioning" to empty nest status and are ready for the "next phase" of their life. I have had to expand my range to include 35 and up so that there are women willing to date a guy my age with a younger child.
> 
> I did hit it off really well with a 41 y/o last night, to the point of exchanging numbers and talking on the phone. But even with her the oldest is on his own and the younger one is a Senior in high school. At 49 (next month), I have yet to find more than 1 or 2 women that have kids close to my daughter's age and attractive to me.


I hear ya. I'm 46 with a 15y/o. Most men my age seem to have kids who are older, some in college, some have grandchildren.  But if the right person has a little flexibility, there are holiday weekends and summer vacation weeks that she is gone that I could work in some travel with someone special.


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## EnjoliWoman

Morgiana said:


> I was cyber stalked by my ex before he was my ex... I'm still harassed by my ex. No way in heck would I put up a face pic of myself anywhere where I don't want him to find me...


Mine is a little over-interested in what I do - he's ordered to stay off my street and can't have anyone spy on me for him. He showed up in court with ever post I made to another site. I don't care. If he is SO hung up on me he wants to read every word I put here or keep tabs on a dating profile, that's his problem.


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## whitehawk

firebelly1 said:


> Which is why it might be good just to avoid talking to people without a photo in their profile, right?


Bit limiting though in my area , there was hardly anyone l liked.So if someone sounded special in my way , l'd say hello anyway.
Got a few very nice surprises to .


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## Almostrecovered

Hi EW's Ex- go jump in a lake


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## EnjoliWoman

whitehawk said:


> Bit limiting though in my area , there was hardly anyone l liked.So if someone sounded special in my way , l'd say hello anyway.
> Got a few very nice surprises to .


Yeah... my surprise turned out to be a real live Elmer Fudd.


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## Almostrecovered

EnjoliWoman said:


> Yeah... my surprise turned out to be a real live Elmer Fudd.



but he is a millionaire and owns a mansion and a yacht


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## EnjoliWoman

Almostrecovered said:


> but he is a millionaire and owns a mansion and a yacht


No. But he had a huge napoleon complex and a big mouth - spouted off opinionated about everything - and on most, not tactfully.


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## Almostrecovered

And was obsessed with a wascilly wabbit


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## whitehawk

movealong said:


> Most women my age do not have children in junior high school. Most of them have grown children that are no longer living at home and/or have grandchildren. My boys from my first marriage are grown, but there are just not a lot of 45-55 year old women (my range) that have children near her age. Most are "transitioning" to empty nest status and are ready for the "next phase" of their life. I have had to expand my range to include 35 and up so that there are women willing to date a guy my age with a younger child.
> 
> I did hit it off really well with a 41 y/o last night, to the point of exchanging numbers and talking on the phone. But even with her the oldest is on his own and the younger one is a Senior in high school. At 49 (next month), I have yet to find more than 1 or 2 women that have kids close to my daughter's age and attractive to me.


Hey move.Mate, just don't worry about it . l was finding the exact same thing. My ds 13 now and her friends or parents we know , all have kids anywhere around that or younger.
lt was freaking me out a bit though when l started dating , some f them we're grandmothers in their early 40s. And anyone else had kids leaving home or long gone , it was weird.
But you know what only one of them matters , the one you end up with so until you meet her , forget about all that.
Because after all my worrying about it ha, the girl l'm seeing now actually has a 13yr old to . So there ya go , anything can happen and l was worrying about nothing.


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