# Do you keep your rings on during NO CONTACT?



## team12 (Apr 16, 2011)

Do you keep your rings on during NO CONTACT? If so, what do you do about the inevitable questions everyone asks? Not remotely interested in another relationship. I just wonder if it is a sign of moving on or giving up.


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## Kauaiguy (May 8, 2011)

I would keep my ring on. You're NOT out looking for a new relationship and if you are, it's whats normally called a REBOUND. Whatever it's called, in most cases, it never works out.

The idea behind the no contact IMO is three fold: a) To make someone miss you and b) Gather yourself together to where you're no longer this weak dependent person who indulges in Self-Pity! and c) To make improvements on yourself. Make yourself look good and you'll be surprised on how that affects your current spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend when they see you.

Again, it's not to immediately get involved in another relationship!


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Yes, I still wear mine because I'm still married. No contact doesn't mean divorced. This is really a morality question because there are many who would say that once the other leaves or wants space or whatever the reason is, you're free. You're really not until those papers are signed.


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

I took mine off the day he told me. 
Ring or no ring it is insignificant to me as a status symbol. 

People don't suddenly change just because they take a ring off or put a ring on.

I know plenty of married people who never wear their wedding rings. 

Heck, a lot of people wear their wedding rings while going out and cheating on their SO!

Do whatever you feel is right.


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## Kauaiguy (May 8, 2011)

caughtdreaming said:


> I took mine off the day he told me.
> Ring or no ring it is insignificant to me as a status symbol.
> 
> People don't suddenly change just because they take a ring off or put a ring on.
> ...


That's not the point. The point is that you don't want people hitting on you when what you really want is to be left alone for now.

Wearing a ring keeps this to a minimum.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Despite my wife saying she had checked out and wanted D I still felt compelled to wear mine. Even after I found out about infidelity I kept it on. When I found out that she was stringing me along and was actually having A with OM#2 is when I said enough and it had to come off. my 180 started after that. 6.5 years I wore that ring and I was proud of all the scuffs and scratches, the only time it was ever off my finger was to clean it, when I was on a work site around machinery as per company policy and during surgery, now I couldn't care less about it, just a junky looking piece of metal.


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

Kauaiguy said:


> That's not the point. The point is that you don't want people hitting on you when what you really want is to be left alone for now.
> 
> Wearing a ring keeps this to a minimum.


True. I guess I was leaning more towards the assumption that team12's SO was not wearing theirs. 

If it's a matter of being left alone and not being hit on I would agree that it would be better to wear one if both parties are trying to make the marriage work. 

For myself, taking off my ring wasn't a sign of me moving on or giving up. I don't need a ring on my finger to tell me that I'm still married. It doesn't mean I'm all of a sudden "free". I have morals, I would never be unfaithful until D is final. I am still the same person inside- wedding ring or not. I get hit on, I say no. I guess I'm just not a big symbolization person, my parents have been married 30+ years and they never wear rings.
Maybe I'm just odd, rings were never important to me.


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## team12 (Apr 16, 2011)

I am still legally and do feel morally married. I am NOT interested in another relationship. As you can tell by me being on here, I'm pretty messed up with the one I have now. No, I don't want to be hit on or come across as available. I guess I thought of it as a way of letting him know, I realize he wants our marriage to be over and I'm accepting it. Different from the bawling and begging I did day 2 back in March and different from the bawling I did earlier today.


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## lost_&_trying (Apr 4, 2011)

My wife left me just over 4 months ago. It's been 2.5 months of NC between us. Hardest thing I've ever had to do. She does not wear either of hers (hasn't since april), but I haven't taken mine off yet. I don't do it b/c I can't let go of the old relationship though. I've been asked why I still wear it...that taking it off can help with healing b/c she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. Of course, I don't even know if this is true b/c she's not said a word to me. 

I wear mine for the simple fact that it reminds me of the commitment that I made to the love of my life and how I can never break my vow to her, no matter what the circumstance. It serves as a symbol of strength in myself that I've been able to overcome so many emotional barriers throughout our separation. I see the scratches, the wear from time, and know that things change, but there's is still a bond that allows me to love her even after all this that she had planned out for so long.

That said, it shows me how much she means to me. There doesn't seem to be any hope left of her coming back. She's made no effort to reach out in so long after she had checked out a year ago and decided to leave in March. But even knowing that gives me some daily motivation to become the better person I've always intended to be. I've come a long way in the past 4 months. And glancing at & feeling this ring on my finger reassures me that I never gave up on us when things got difficult. That I've grown stronger in every aspect. And most of all, that my back has never turned against her & the love that I have for her will always be unconditional.

Not until things are final will this come off. It was her decision to leave and it will be her decision to end this should it come to that. The love I still hold for her will not allow me to initiate it.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I still wear mine cause I love it and it's mine ;o) I worked hard for it. He took his off, but in reality it never meant much to him, so he can do what he wants.


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## IsntLifeFun (Jul 16, 2011)

My wife took hers off about the time she said we were separated. I took mine off a few weeks later. It's been a week and I'm still not used to it.


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## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

Though not yet legally divorced, I stopped wearing the ring. It was strange after 24 years. At first I wore a different band ("I'm married, just not to him") but later thought "Since he's not wearing his, why should I wear mine?" I don't think that absence of a ring means that you are inviting a relationship. 
I am not in a no contact phase.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I didn't keep them on after we separated. He had taken my ring and hidden it from me saying I'd never get it back (so that was one reason why).

Hardly anyone asked. You'd be surprised how much people don't ask, eventhough you think they will.


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

My STBXW took hers off the day she told me. I took mine off a few weeks later. Same as others I figured if she isn't going to wear hers there is no point in me wearing mine. I do still have the indent even three months later. Guess that will be there for a while.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

my indent is still there - can easily feel it but barely see it. Ring has been off for 8 weeks (holy cow that sounds longer than it feels)


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