# Another survery: Do you REALLY enjoy sex with your spouse?



## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Hmmm interesting. My wife is not a oral person, even though I love doing it to her, I would do it for hours if she would let me :smthumbup:

She does not like anal, but will do it when it's that time of month, she is not a fan of it.

My wife is very orgasmic, she often has multiple orgasm and can reach one with me just kissing her back and neck.

I guess allot has to do wtih your mental state, I always looked at sex as pleasing my partner, My goal as I learned my ways was to make sure the woman was please, so as I got older I got better.

Plus i am game for anything, we do Role playing as well and Photo shoots, some home videos. She has toys and doesn't bother me if she gets more or whatever.

As long as she is happy doing it I am fine, the more she wants to try then I am in.

Sorry your hubby is not oral, he has no idea what he is missing.

I always find that opposites attract, but breaking down barriers is also fun.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

loveandmarriage said:


> I am down for trying all types of dildos and sex toys, and would love for him to buy one for me so we can try it out. However he doesn't want to buy one because he doesn't want people thinking he is buying it for himself.


So what are your reasons for not buying the toys you want, and giving them to your hubby to use on you?


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> So what are your reasons for not buying the toys you want, and giving them to your hubby to use on you?


I'm a SAHM (stay at home mom) so I am ALWAYS with the kids (plus no babysitter to rely on). My husband travels a lot too, so I cannot go to a store and buy. 

I don't want to buy something like this on the internet. I want to see what I am getting.


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> Hmmm interesting. My wife is not a oral person, even though I love doing it to her, I would do it for hours if she would let me :smthumbup:
> 
> She does not like anal, but will do it when it's that time of month, she is not a fan of it.
> 
> ...


I love oral sex. It has always been a desire of mine to be with a woman, but those days are long gone. (Me too. "I am game for anything".)

My husband has always said (even before we were dating and sexually intimate, and we were just friends) that the "juices" does not appeal to him.

As far as my mental state. I do think that in my 20s I had the perfection complex where I wanted people to think I was perfect, so I think that played a role in me not being able to have an orgasm with a guy. However, as I got older and wiser, all of those hangups went out the door. I love talking about and having sex. :smthumbup:

I like doing whatever it takes to please my husband. I find it exciting especially when he likes it. 

We have not tried anal yet. We both want to, but because I am a "virgin" he is afraid he will hurt me. But (no pun intended), he likes "exploring" orally there.

I hope this is not being too graphic and please do not take offense. I don't mean to offend anyone, or get myself in trouble with the moderators (or whoever looks after offensive stuff on this site).


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

loveandmarriage said:


> I hope this is not being too graphic and please do not take offense. I don't mean to offend anyone, or get myself in trouble with the moderators (or whoever looks after offensive stuff on this site).


You are fine. Getting advice about sex within your marriage is the reason for this section. That's one of the reasons there is now a separate section to discuss sex so those offended by sexual discussions can avoid this section.


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

Thanks Swedish.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

loveandmarriage said:


> I don't want to buy something like this on the internet. I want to see what I am getting.


You might be better off getting some feedback from others on what types are good...I have found the most scary looking ones to work much better than some of the more simple ones so just looking at it may not be a good indicator.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

loveandmarriage said:


> Does anyone else have/had this problem? If so, how do/did you handle it?


OH YA! this is _THE_ problem in my marriage. so frustrating. 

At first I just got depressed and felt kind hopeless about it. He was also in to porn so that complicated the issue. We certainly have had some rough days over it. 

I read a lot. so ive gathered little things here and there on how to handle it. 

I've changed my attitude. Its not hopeless, its a learning experience. I know he loves me, we just suck in this particular area (and not in a good way . 

Ive changed my perspective. Sex is not everything in my marriage. its one thing. maybe a very important thing, but still, just one aspect. 

Its not just him. For a long time i thought he was the problem and if he would only do things different, better, etc, we'd have good sex. but now i realize that its our problem. 

And mostly im just being patient. I have a lot of things planned for us, but i dont want to push the issue.


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> I always find that opposites attract, but breaking down barriers is also fun.


Can you elaborate a little on this for us?


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## helloitsme (Oct 22, 2008)

Oral is a great thing... I miss it a lot !!!

The guy I was dating before I met my husband was FANTASTIC at it. My husband on the other hand did it once and GAGGED really its true!!! So for the past 19 years I have longed for it, now he has left and I can't help but think... that would be great to have again. Not the kind of thing you should ask a guy about on a first date I am sure LOL

Anyway toys helped me some, but what I found helped the most is I would write him a story about me and another doing it or watch porn with that in it (hard to find one without it) and I just let my mind wonder.... YOUR MIND REALLY IS THE BIGGEST SEX ORGAN

Just bight the bullet and buy one. Almost everyone has that secret. Don't be shy about it they do take some of the stress out.:smthumbup:


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Dancing...

Breaking down barriers...

When I met my wife she was a virgin and a Roman catholic through and through.

Strongly believed in "missionary only"

She would not let me do oral on her.....Barrier broken.

Anal...Barirer broken...

Even Doggie was a "no no" in the beginning....No she Loves it.

Toys were bad....No she has a trunk full of them.

Barriers, mental blocks, we all have them. Trust and love is when your partner will trust you to not harm them and trust you in something that is so intimate, they may find out they just might like it.

I told my wife I know her better then she knows herself, she agrees.

It's like the Berlin wall, it was meant to come down.

Sexual ectasy can be reached when you allow yourself to do something you thought was naughty, and realized how great it feels.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

loveandmarriage said:


> I hate to say it, but except for only a handful of times, I never, truly enjoyed sex with my husband. From the 1st time until now, it is like we don't "click" sexually.
> 
> For instance, I love getting oral sex and all types of vaginal stimulation. My husband is a butt man and really does not see why guys are so into giving oral sex (even though he likes getting it). Now don't get me wrong. He will perform oral sex on me, but it is not the best, or even near the best I have had.


Maybe the problem is that his heart isn't into it or the communications are not there. Either way I think you should point out to him that the same as he likes it so do you.


> I am down for trying all types of dildos and sex toys, and would love for him to buy one for me so we can try it out. However he doesn't want to buy one because he doesn't want people thinking he is buying it for himself.


Why don't you buy one?


> I would like to try dressing up, but he thinks it is silly.


Is it that he is just a prude?


> And to top it off, I have NEVER had an orgasm with a guy (only by myself) and I sooo want to have one, but I think my husband and I are just not sexually compatible.


Sometimes it takes really getting to know your partner and communicating what you want.


> Does anyone else have/had this problem? If so, how do/did you handle it?


My wife and I didn't click at first and she was at first more prudish then me or what I had with other women. As our communications grew we got better and better together. Now her orgasms are a most of the time thing. But it took her taking my hand and showing me how she wanted things done. Even though I asked her for that I felt sheepish at the time but like superman after the orgasms started coming regularly.

draconis


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

draconis said:


> ....Why don't you buy one?draconis


It is hard to take a trip to the local sex toy store because I am a SAHM whose husband travels. Therefore I am ALWAYS with the kids. It is also hard to find a babysitter who is willing to babysit 2 kids who are under the age of 3. (I'm not complaining. I love being with my kids.)



draconis said:


> Is it that he is just a prude?draconis


I sometimes think that, but he disagrees. He thinks his butt fetish is something big. (No pun intended.) But I think it is not a big deal.



draconis said:


> Sometimes it takes really getting to know your partner and communicating what you want.
> draconis


That's is what I am doing now. And it has gotten a little better. It is also hard to be freaky when you are limited on where you can be freaky in the house. You see, we have 2 small kids in a small house.


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## MrHappy (Oct 23, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> ...I would do it for hours if she would let me :smthumbup:


Agree with that. Just let me sleep down there and I'll be fine.



loveandmarriage said:


> It is hard to take a trip to the local sex toy store because I am a SAHM whose husband travels. Therefore I am ALWAYS with the kids. It is also hard to find a babysitter who is willing to babysit 2 kids who are under the age of 3. (I'm not complaining. I love being with my kids.)


You can try some review sites like Freddy and Eddy (search in google). Probably the basic to get is a rabbit type vibrator. Doc Johnson makes some good quality ones. The original Pocket Rocket is also pretty good. It does have a tendancy to make my hand numb if I use it on my wife too long.


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

MrHappy, thanks for the tip. I think I am going to suggest to my husband that we look at some websites and order some things. It would be fun. Does anyone else have any good sites to visit? If so, please also tell me what toys you would suggest? Thanks.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Rabbits are fun (and yes i bought them on the internet) but my fav is a bullet. just experiment  they really DO come in a plain wrapper, nobody will know what you are getting. just don't let the kids open the 'presents' !! My seven year old son managed to open what he thought were his new 'shoes' from zappos. heh. 

You get over the worry. and it's well worth it!


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

Snix11,

Thanks for the tip. I just don't want to order something that I won't like. I don't think sex toys are returnable. Especially after it has been used.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

my wife likes the Hitachi Magic wand, with adapters, she doesn't like the rabbit, she is more clitorial stimulate as opposed to inserting toys. She prefers the wand.

But of course she would rather dave the real thing..

you can look on Drugstor.com look under sexual well being, they have some toys...

plenty of stuff on the web. We also enjoy Role playing. go to 3wishes com, plenty of sexy costumes on there.


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## Aeval (Nov 3, 2008)

I very much enjoy sex with my husband. Hell, I wish we had more sex...


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> As for costumes, now's the time to buy. You could even get a pair of cat ears and a tail from children's clearance Halloween costume section. Draw some whiskers and "cat eyes" with eyeliner. Get a black bra and thong set, some fish net thigh highs and do some belated trick-or-treating with each other!!


THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I am going to go the 'Halloween Store'.


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## brokenspirit (Feb 16, 2009)

I used to, but not any more. I don't know what happened. It sucks and not in a good way.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

I'll be short and simple, yes, I really enjoy sex with my wife.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

No.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

well i wil give n e thing a try once or twice. but thats to make sure if i really didnt like it the first time.
yes i do enjoy sex with my spouse.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Yes we have a great time, but I can always conceive of even more fun! I just the other day remembered about a little kink she has that I have never really had the opportunity to indulge, but am planning on it soon.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Oh, I missed the "toy" discussion...

My wife is more of an "outside" clitoral stimulus woman as well and she really just likes a simple vibrator but uses it mostly on the outside...well I should say WE use it mostly on the outside, we use the toys together, not typically by ourselves.

We also picked up a pink, vagina looking rubber/gel thing for me, not even sure what its called now. The thing is so tight there is no way to get it "on" without KY, but once she has it going on me, it really is kind of fun. Better than just a hand job by her, but obviously not as good as the "real thing".

Both are definitely good for foreplay.

Also, one weird thing, guys sometimes (well at least I do) have orgasms that kind of hurt while feeling good at the same time (not everytime, just sometimes). I've had this happen just a few times during normal sex and had to pull out IMMEDIATELY after ejaculation due to the discomfort. With the rubber/gel thing, I seem to have "that kind" of orgasm more often than with regular sex or even a regular hand job. Not sure what the story is behind that, just an observation (we've only had that particular toy a few weeks, so more experimentation to come).


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## T-Dub (Feb 2, 2009)

This is what I tell my Peeps, " I haven't had ***** since it had me"
Go figure


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## sooner2000 (Feb 11, 2010)

Absolutely!


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## CatholicCouple (Feb 12, 2010)

Very much.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Sex with wife is the HIGH POINT of my week every week. She is awesome. I hope it is as fun for her as for me. I try hard but - hmmmm - just doubt I am quite able to do to her as well as she does for me. She literally is game for anything so my fantasy life and my real life are one and the same....





loveandmarriage said:


> I love oral sex. It has always been a desire of mine to be with a woman, but those days are long gone. (Me too. "I am game for anything".)
> 
> My husband has always said (even before we were dating and sexually intimate, and we were just friends) that the "juices" does not appeal to him.
> 
> ...


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

It's marginal.


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## baabaablacksheep (Feb 11, 2010)

I enjoy sex with my husband. We have it often (thank God or else I'd rarely see him) and he is good at it.

If you want oral, check out your diet - eating processed foods has been linked to not as tasty "stuff" whereas eating fruits and veggies has been said to make your "stuff" tasty. Make sure you're eating lots of healthy saturated fats, fruits, veggies and cutting out soy products (libido killer) and junk food.

- Make sure you're super clean - nobody wants hair in their teeth.

- Gag reflexes take time. If I had decided that I was never going to give another BJ the first time I gagged - well, that would be crazy since it takes practice learning how to do oral sex without choking to death. I'm sure it the same with your husband - he needs to practice.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Oral sex is a measure of two things:
- How much you really are "into" your partner AND
- How selfless you are - because if your focus is YOU, than often you won't like it. If your focus is YOUR PARTNER, and how happy you are making them - than it is really fun to give

This is every bit as true for men as for women. My recommendations are to always shower before sex - being really clean and smelling nice is a big deal.

As for the whole - veggie/fruit thing - totally true - you can cheat though and eat miracle fruit/miracle berries beforehand. You can buy em on amazon. 





baabaablacksheep said:


> I enjoy sex with my husband. We have it often (thank God or else I'd rarely see him) and he is good at it.
> 
> If you want oral, check out your diet - eating processed foods has been linked to not as tasty "stuff" whereas eating fruits and veggies has been said to make your "stuff" tasty. Make sure you're eating lots of healthy saturated fats, fruits, veggies and cutting out soy products (libido killer) and junk food.
> 
> ...


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