# Trial Separation



## FindingMe26 (7 mo ago)

I am considering a separation to gets some me time. However, financially it is not possible to move out. Has anyone "separated" but still been in the same house? What steps should I take? How should I approach my spouse? I have been unhappy fir a while now.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

FindingMe26 said:


> I am considering a separation to gets some me time. However, financially it is not possible to move out. Has anyone "separated" but still been in the same house? What steps should I take? How should I approach my spouse? I have been unhappy fir a while now.


If you are under the same roof you are not really separated. If you are separating with the intent of fixing the marriage it may work to stay under the same roof so that you are able to prevent detachment from one another. However, if you are intent on getting to divorce, the sooner you physically separate from each other, as in not live together, the better.

What are the issues and why do you see separation as a next step?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My exH and I did that for a few months while we sorted finances/assets before we divorced. It was very difficult and I don’t recommend it.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

FindingMe26 said:


> I am considering a separation to gets some me time. However, financially it is not possible to move out. Has anyone "separated" but still been in the same house? What steps should I take? How should I approach my spouse? I have been unhappy fir a while now.


wait so you want some 'me' time? Can you clarify that and if this is a kind of way to initiate divorce or if you really do think it will help your marriage? I am genuinely curious.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I know three couples who tried that and it just didnt work out. Unless you have a very big house where you both have separate living quarters then you aren't going to have time to yourself anyway.


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## Gigimom (6 mo ago)

I know people who have done it. Not sure which state you live in (as divorce laws and the definition of “separation” varies by state), but in most cases, you don’t need to be legally or physically separated in order to seek complete the divorce process. Some people have done it while living in the same household, whether for financial reasons, or because the spouse refuses to move out of the marital home.

It sucks because it’s very difficult to get an actual taste of separation without having a spouse move out. Even if you move to separate sleeping areas and try not to bump into each other while in the house, it’s very awkward… especially if there are kids.

Do either of you have nearby family with whom you or your spouse could stay temporarily?

If not, then you’ll both have to sit down to have a serious conversation about the ground rules you will follow in order to separate while remaining in the same home.


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