# Calling all Cougars



## Faithful Wife

I just wanted to post a little about the attractiveness of "older" women.

It used to be taboo for a younger man to be with an older woman. It was not taboo for an older man to be with a younger woman and in fact, it was touted all over the place that men would always want a younger woman and that older women were no longer desirable.

I really think this was just a cultural thing and a shame based thing. And therefore if men were attracted to or were in a relationship with an older women, they would be quiet about it and not cause a lot of attention to the subject, so even though it has always happened it just wasn't focused on because people would be shamed for it.

These days, people (and especially younger people) are more free to express their real desires...and that has opened a flood gate of younger men who are now free to express their attraction to "older" women.

I'm using quotes for "older" to this point because of course there is quite a range that "older" could mean. But generally speaking, I mean women who are 5 - 15 years older than a man are now much more attractive and available to men than what was expressed in previous generations.

I personally do not date younger men. I would if one presented themselves in a way that was super alluring to me, but so far, none have successfully done so. OTOH, I have so many girlfriends who have no problem with it. Many prefer younger men and have no lack of options in that pool. I've found in my dating experiences post divorce that younger men by far were lining up to date me, so many more than men my own age or a little older (which is my preferred age range)....(though there were still plenty in my preferred age group, just saying the younger ones outnumbered them).

It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman, and also there are still a lot of men who tell themselves that men get more attractive with age but women don't. This is of course based on the thing about how women supposedly don't feel attraction based on looks but more on status or money, and men only feel attraction based on looks and that ALL women ALWAYS get less attractive as they age. Some even say that women "age out" at 28 and it is all downhill from there.

For any woman who fears getting older based on nonsense like the above...I'm here to tell you, it isn't true! Men of all ages and definitely younger men will ALWAYS be around and they will always be attracted to women! They don't stop being attracted to you once you hit a certain age. Maybe some guys will always have a stronger preference for women their own age or younger, but so many younger men will be strongly attracted to you that it simply doesn't matter. 

I think in the next couple of decades we will see the numbers of older woman-younger man relationships increase exponentially, because the taboo is now gone and because society is finally ready to accept women's sexuality (this has far reaching effects, including how society used to shut women up about being sexual at all, and most definitely "older" women were expected to not be sexual beings in any way).

Go cougars!


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## alexm

I think that if I were single at my current age (early 40's) I'd almost certainly be looking for an older woman. There's something about the experience factor and the "no BS" attitudes of women hovering around 50 that's alluring.

My wife and I have a recently single friend who just turned 50. She's just comfortable in her own skin, has a 'been there, done that' outlook on life, and doesn't take any crap from people.

Maturity is sexy, to me. Although I've never actually dated (or married) a woman who isn't 2 or 3 years younger than me... But now, as I slowly approach mid-life myself, I'm starting to see the attractiveness of this age group.


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## john117

It's a numbers game... The number of available 45+ women is pretty good, but the number of available, well preserved, able, willing, and no significant skeletons​ in closet is considerably smaller.


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## GTdad

I've always liked women, period. I wound up marrying a couple of years younger (and she is now a beautiful, sexy 52), but I have fond memories of a 32 year old woman, a friend of my aunt and uncle and recently divorced, when I was a 19 year old. I was apparently what she needed at the time, and I was too much of a naïf to know whether it was taboo at the time or not.


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## MovingForward

Faithful Wife said:


> I just wanted to post a little about the attractiveness of "older" women.
> 
> It used to be taboo for a younger man to be with an older woman. It was not taboo for an older man to be with a younger woman and in fact, it was touted all over the place that men would always want a younger woman and that older women were no longer desirable.
> 
> I really think this was just a cultural thing and a shame based thing. And therefore if men were attracted to or were in a relationship with an older women, they would be quiet about it and not cause a lot of attention to the subject, so even though it has always happened it just wasn't focused on because people would be shamed for it.
> 
> These days, people (and especially younger people) are more free to express their real desires...and that has opened a flood gate of younger men who are now free to express their attraction to "older" women.
> 
> I'm using quotes for "older" to this point because of course there is quite a range that "older" could mean. But generally speaking, I mean women who are 5 - 15 years older than a man are now much more attractive and available to men than what was expressed in previous generations.
> 
> I personally do not date younger men. I would if one presented themselves in a way that was super alluring to me, but so far, none have successfully done so. OTOH, I have so many girlfriends who have no problem with it. Many prefer younger men and have no lack of options in that pool. I've found in my dating experiences post divorce that younger men by far were lining up to date me, so many more than men my own age or a little older (which is my preferred age range)....(though there were still plenty in my preferred age group, just saying the younger ones outnumbered them).
> 
> It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman, and also there are still a lot of men who tell themselves that men get more attractive with age but women don't. This is of course based on the thing about how women supposedly don't feel attraction based on looks but more on status or money, and men only feel attraction based on looks and that ALL women ALWAYS get less attractive as they age. Some even say that women "age out" at 28 and it is all downhill from there.
> 
> For any woman who fears getting older based on nonsense like the above...I'm here to tell you, it isn't true! Men of all ages and definitely younger men will ALWAYS be around and they will always be attracted to women! They don't stop being attracted to you once you hit a certain age. Maybe some guys will always have a stronger preference for women their own age or younger, but so many younger men will be strongly attracted to you that it simply doesn't matter.
> 
> I think in the next couple of decades we will see the numbers of older woman-younger man relationships increase exponentially, because the taboo is now gone and because society is finally ready to accept women's sexuality (this has far reaching effects, including how society used to shut women up about being sexual at all, and most definitely "older" women were expected to not be sexual beings in any way).
> 
> Go cougars!


Some Woman and Some Men get better with age and others get worse it depends on the individual, From what i have seen once Woman reach there 30's they start to be more sure of themselves and more confident in who they are and what they want and don't care as much about BS and I find that a very attractive trait.


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## She'sStillGotIt

I've dealt with youngin's hitting on me my entire life. Even to the point of one following me around the supermarket and finally getting up the courage to speak to me and ask me out. I asked him how old he was (I was 44 at the time) and he was 25. Bahahahaa! I'll give the kid credit for having the cajones but I was having NONE of it. 

My rule is - if I could have given birth to you, I ain't dating you.

I've always told youngin's that I refuse to be their "Mrs. Robinson" fantasy. Problem is, they're too damned young to know who Mrs. Robinson *IS*, so I had to switch it to "Stiffler's Mother" - but today's youngin's don't know who THAT is, either.

Blech.


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## NextTimeAround

I guess I have been a cougar for a while.

My first husband is 5 years younger than I. He was 27 when we married.

my current husband is 10 years younger than I am.


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## Taxman

I credit two past relationships with teaching me my "bedroom" skills. Before I met my wife, I was in a two year relationship with a woman 10 years older. (I was 19, she 29). My other relationship was short-lived, however she was in her late 30's and I was just 21, and she too instructed me in the ways of female orgasm. My wife appreciates the lessons that I learned.


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## Faithful Wife

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I've dealt with youngin's hitting on me my entire life. Even to the point of one following me around the supermarket and finally getting up the courage to speak to me and ask me out. I asked him how old he was (I was 44 at the time) and he was 25. Bahahahaa! I'll give the kid credit for having the cajones but I was having NONE of it.
> 
> My rule is - if I could have given birth to you, I ain't dating you.
> 
> I've always told youngin's that I refuse to be their "Mrs. Robinson" fantasy. Problem is, they're too damned young to know who Mrs. Robinson *IS*, so I had to switch it to "Stiffler's Mother" - but today's youngin's don't know who THAT is, either.
> 
> Blech.


I have a son that age. When he was in high school (and even now) he always got the "mom" jokes thrown at him. He didn't like it but it was so frequent he had to just roll with it and accept that many guys would always see me as a cougar.

He had one friend who used to call him "Stacy", in reference to this song:






I had never even heard the song before my son told me about his friend.


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## SunCMars

Here's the thing from an older guy.

ALL women are beautiful.
ALL women have the right equipment and in the right places.

ALL women do not have the 'right attitude' with respect to men. 

Women who enjoy the company of men, who enjoy the banter and the sexual tension will always be attractive. The perfect Cougar.
The problem here is that the body chemistry necessary for the woman to experience this attitude is always uncertain. And it fades with age, in most woman, not all. 


Women who do not enjoy the banter and who "tolerate" the sexual part for the sake of having a companion will never be 'very' attractive....past the first few sexual encounters.
The perfect low desire woman. 

Some men are in this same LD boat.... This is where compatibility comes into play. If both sexes are not into sexual tension and banter.. are both LD....more power to them. A good match they might be.

It is MORE about attitude than physical appearance. Physical appearance is relative, but not imperative in one's attractiveness.


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## CharlieParker

First,


Faithful Wife said:


> I had never even heard the song before my son told me about his friend.


OMG, how is that even possible? I love Fountains of Wayne but holy crap that song go so overplayed. 

Second, and on topic,


Faithful Wife said:


> It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman


in looking at old photos I think my wife is way more beautiful at 55 than at 30, she's always been sexy.


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## Faithful Wife

CharlieParker said:


> First,
> 
> OMG, how is that even possible? I love Fountains of Wayne but holy crap that song go so overplayed.


At that time in my life, I rarely listened to the radio and when I did, it would be stations that wouldn't have played that song. We also didn't have cable TV so I rarely saw any music videos.


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## peacem

This is going to sound very vain and it probably is, but I think I get better looking as I get older. When I look back on old pictures of myself I cringe. Its not necessarily that I AM better looking, but I have learned how to present myself to the best of my abilities, the older you get the more effort you have to put in. I think I am also better company - I used to be very shy and not confident at all - but there is something about age where you become a bit more carefree and less self-conscious. I think confidence is sexy and attractive. 

I am also more open minded with age - which I think makes me a better mate.


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## SunCMars

NextTimeAround said:


> I guess I have been a cougar for a while.
> 
> My first husband is 5 years younger than I. He was 27 when we married.
> 
> my current husband is 10 years younger than I am.


God Bless Ya..

Please make him your last!

Someone has to take care of you when you get older. You 70, him 60.

Keep up your game...you cannot afford to stumble, fall down, get tired, get cranky.

The marriage table is always round. And it has a pivot in the center.

It can be spun...the table reversed. A younger you on the other side. Not you...but a close facsimile there of. 

Your grip on him CAN FAIL. If his love for you goes softly away. 

Keep your end of the bargain..so that he can easily [mentally] keep his end of the bargain up and proud.

Talk is cheap.

Just Sayin'


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## uhtred

There are many types of beauty. 

As I get older I still find young women attractive in an abstract way, but the idea of sex with them seems a bit creepy.


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## Mr. Nail

I was thinking about an older woman this morning. I've always dated near my age. But I'm not attracted to persons much younger than me. Mrs Nail is 215 days younger than me.


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## Ikaika

Faithful Wife said:


> It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman, and also there are still a* lot of men who tell themselves that men get more attractive with age but women don't*...



I don't necessarily buy into the bold remarks. This has more to do with genetics, how one carries themselves and takes care of themselves regardless of gender. I see 47 year old men who look 60 and then there are women like Jennifer Lopez, wow! 

I try to take care of myself (eat right and exercise), but there is no kidding myself into assuming I'm getting more attractive with age. I do feel more comfortable with who I am at my age, but that does not mean I'm delusional. 



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


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## Faithful Wife

Years ago (when I was probably about 35) I was having a discussion in a forum with a bunch of guys about this topic. My stance, even then, was that men are men and men, and men are always going to want women of all ages, and that there are/were plenty of younger men always sniffing around, and that being "older" is in no way a deterrent to a huge percentage of men when it comes to attraction and pursuit.

One of the guys chimed in and told me that this wasn't true, that one day "my flower would fade and men would no longer look at me with lust in their eyes", and that I would no longer have value to men because age would devalue me, and that I should suck it all up now as much as I could because when men were no longer attracted to me I would be a sad, sorry, washed up old lady.

:rofl:

I knew the guy was wrong, but couldn't prove it, of course. I knew that what is attractive about me would continue to be attractive as I got older.

I'm 49 now and still am constantly pursued and hit on by men of all ages, but the highest numbers of them are younger than I am, some are a LOT younger (20 years or more). Some of these guys may believe that I'm younger than I actually am, until I tell them my age, and at that point they are just surprised but do not lessen their pursuit in the least. In other cases, men were hitting on me based on my profile which stated my true age, so they knew upfront. Didn't stop them, and in most cases my age made them want me even more (similar to the reasons @alexm stated). 

The same man in the discussion also said that the opposite was true for men, and that young women LOVE older men, and that as men age they could be guaranteed more and more attention from younger women.

While I do agree that some extremely (physically) attractive men age so well that younger women do take a lot of notice....but I have never, ever seen any man my age be pursued and hit on by younger women in anything close to the numbers that it happens to me and my female cohorts. 

I wish I could dig up that dude somehow and laugh in his face.


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## Fozzy

FW--do you see the number of LTR's with large age differentials increasing significantly, or do you think the cougar phenomenon is more linked to brief flings?


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## 2&out

I'm immature so older women tend to not tolerate me long ; To be frank, I've never had much interest in them either as there were same age and later in life younger ones around/available. I once thought no more than 10 younger was all I felt comfortable with but the last couple have been more like 15.


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## Faithful Wife

Fozzy said:


> FW--do you see the number of LTR's with large age differentials increasing significantly, or do you think the cougar phenomenon is more linked to brief flings?


I predict there will be more and more older women-younger men relationships going into the next decades. As for hookups, I really believe that has always been going on, it just wasn't talked about because a man may have been shamed by his peers for it. These days, that shame may be replaced with a high five.


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## Dr. Stupid

Man-child? No thanks. Too much drama and immaturity for me. A pocket full of Viagra is a good substitute for anything that they can provide.

I'm married anyway. If the day comes when his tube loses pressure, I can write a prescription, and keep getting the best of both worlds.


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## Faithful Wife

Another point is that in previous generations, women "of a certain age" were never EVER "allowed" to express themselves by being "sexy". It was considered totally inappropriate for an "older" woman to wear sexy clothes. Women were expected to put on their frump-wear and look and appear chaste. This resulted in all "older" women looking like sexless frump-meisters. Though in our current society, we've got "older" women wearing whatever the hell they want, and that has resulted in a whole lot of SEXY going on in "older" women. But this doesn't mean that women now are actually sexier than they were in previous generations, they are just allowed to express it. The "older" women of previous generations were beautiful and sexy as much as we are, but they were forced by weird cultural rules to never ever appear sexy. 

I am not saying that any and all women should dress sexy or that there isn't such a thing as appropriate wear for various ages (both men and women). I'm just pointing out that when my mother was 50, she had not worn anything resembling a bikini in over 2 decades, even though she was beautiful and would have rocked one, she would have literally felt foolish wearing one (purely due to her cultural narrative). I on the other hand have 2 drawers full of bikinis of all types and have no issue strutting my stuff in one on a warm beach whenever that occasion arises.


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## Faithful Wife

Dr. Stupid said:


> Man-child? No thanks. Too much drama and immaturity for me. A pocket full of Viagra is a good substitute for anything that they can provide.
> 
> I'm married anyway. If the day comes when his tube loses pressure, I can write a prescription, and keep getting the best of both worlds.


As I said, I don't date them either.

I might have one for a snack some day just for thrills, if I'm single again...but even that doesn't hold a lot of interest for me. It would have to be right time, right place, and me bored.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Faithful Wife;17795617
It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman said:


> I often tell my wife I find her more attractive today than I did 30 years ago. And I mean it, without reservation or caveat.
> She doesn't seem to believe me, often accuses me of "just being nice" which can be a bit disheartening. But sometimes she soaks it up. It seems very mood dependent. Being in the throes of menopause probably has something to do with her vacillation on taking me as sincere or "just being nice."


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## Ikaika

Dr. Stupid said:


> Man-child? No thanks. Too much drama and immaturity for me. A pocket full of Viagra is a good substitute for anything that they can provide.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm married anyway. If the day comes when his tube loses pressure, I can write a prescription, and keep getting the best of both worlds.




A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is a good find. I'm 56 and knock on wood (no pun intended), I don't need any prescriptions, yet. 

My wife always assumes that if she were to die, I would chase after a younger woman. I tell I'm not delusional, younger women are not attracted to old men like me unless they have other motives. I'm not interested unless she would actually be interested in me. Anyway, older women have plenty to pick from rather than some old 'has been' like myself. I am comfort having friends and family. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


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## jorgegene

i love it. 

iv'e often been attracted to older women. when i was in my twenties, by boss's wife was about 45 and i had a big crush on her.

when i was in my early 50's, i had two girlfriends at once. i wasn't two timing, they both knew of each other. one was 37 y.o. and the other was 58. a 21 year swing.
i had to choose one of them. it was a hard choice. the 37 y.o. was very good looking and had a great body, but the 58 y.o. was beautiful.
i mean really beautiful. i chose her.

i think the idea of older women being less attractive is a bunch of bunk in my opinion.
of course it depends on the woman, but still...........


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## naiveonedave

JMO - I am 40s and I would doubt I would go after a woman any more than a couple of years older (probably closer to zero) and would consider maybe up to 5-10 years younger. Though I really hope that I never have to find out. 

In my experience the vast majority of woman a few years older than me I just don't find attractive, sorry.


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## anonmd

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm 49 now and still am constantly pursued and hit on by men of all ages, but the highest numbers of them are younger than I am, some are a LOT younger (20 years or more). Some of these guys may believe that I'm younger than I actually am, until I tell them my age, and at that point they are just surprised but do not lessen their pursuit in the least. In other cases, men were hitting on me based on my profile which stated my true age, so they knew upfront. Didn't stop them, and in most cases my age made them want me even more (similar to the reasons @alexm stated).


Give it ten more years and check back. @ 49 you can control whether the flower has faded, it gets much harder. My wife went on a weight loss / health kick around that age - back to the when we were married size. And you're attitude was right at the time, she was HOT.

She is still fighting the fight and still looks remarkable for her age but she can't pass for 29 anymore .


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## Faithful Wife

anonmd said:


> Give it ten more years and check back. @ 49 you can control whether the flower has faded, it gets much harder. My wife went on a weight loss / health kick around that age - back to the when we were married size. And you're attitude was right at the time, she was HOT.
> 
> She is still fighting the fight and still looks remarkable for her age but she can't pass for 29 anymore .


It has never been my goal to pass for 29, except when I actually was 29. :grin2:

That said, sure I'll check back in 10 years and give my thoughts on this topic, if we're all still around. I have no doubt though that there will still be "younger" men interested in "older" women, regardless of what age group you put that into. At the ages of 49 - 59, there are a whole lot of healthy, attractive people who still want to be in love, be in relationships, and have sex with each other. There is much less and less of the old cultural narrative that "older people" shouldn't be sexual, especially older women. I know many people who are 59 and up to their 70's who are still totally rockin' it. That means there is a market in that age group, and in any male/female dating or sexual market there will always be younger men attracted to older women (I am still speaking within a certain age gap, I am not saying a 59 y/o woman would attract a 25 y/o man).

Keep in mind too that I am not saying all men would be attracted to an older woman (of any age gap). I am only saying that there are SO MANY younger men who are attracted to "older" women and that this should not be considered unusual in any way.


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## Young at Heart

Faithful Wife said:


> I just wanted to post a little about the attractiveness of "older" women.
> 
> ...It was not taboo for an older man to be with a younger woman and in fact, it was touted all over the place that men would always want a younger woman and that older women were no longer desirable.
> 
> ...It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation t*hat an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman*, and also there are still a lot of men who tell themselves that men get more attractive with age but women don't. This is of course based on the thing about how women supposedly don't feel attraction based on looks but more on status or money, and men only feel attraction based on looks and that ALL women ALWAYS get less attractive as they age. *Some even say that women "age out" at 28 and it is all downhill from there.
> *
> 
> ....Go cougars!



Let me give you the perspective of a 68 year old man. Why I prefer a 60+ year old woman to an 18 to 22 year old woman.

I am 68. That means I have been sexual with women for over 50 years.

An 18 to 22 year old woman has been sexually active for maybe 5 to 10 years max. That means she barely knows her own body and what it is capable of doing, let alone knows a man's body and how to truly pleasure him with her body. So in selecting a sex partner would I prefer someone who has years of experience and practice or a novice?

If I want to have sex with a woman, I prefer a woman who knows her body and how to use it and who can teach me a thing or two with it, as opposed to my having to do all the teaching about sex.

I want a woman who will look at my wrinkles and sagging skin and say, yeah that stuff happens, but it isn't important.

The only time, I would prefer an 18 to 22 year old woman is if I wanted to make healthy babies. I have made all the babies I want to raise. Therefore give me a woman at least age 45 and preferably close to my age any day as a sex partner.

The whole eye candy, trophy wife thing is over-rated.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Young at Heart said:


> The whole eye candy, trophy wife thing is over-rated.


This thread seems to me to be all rather academic, meaning for the sake of discussion only and not really relevant to most of us here. Most of us are married, so why do we care ?(and I mean that in a positive way)

I want someone close to my own age. But then I am married to someone my own age. It doesn't matter one hoot to me what a 25 year old looks like-I am not married to a 25 year old. 

There is only one woman on this planet who can turn my head, and that is the one who shares my bed. In one sense, looks are very important because I think my 52 year old wife is gorgeous. As I said in an earlier post, she is more gorgeous at 52 than she was at 22. That level of attractiveness is indeed important to me. At the same time, the physical attractiveness of other "cougars" (or younger women for that matter) is irrelevant, because I will have no attraction to them no matter what. 

There's no doubt that the increased attraction I feel toward my mate began because she's inherently good looking, but grew as the result of our shared time and bonding over a period of decades. When you become one with another, nobody else can compare.


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## Faithful Wife

Young at Heart said:


> I am 68.
> 
> (snip)
> 
> The only time, I would prefer an 18 to 22 year old woman is if I wanted to make healthy babies. I have made all the babies I want to raise.


Your whole post was good, but I just wanted to point out that the age of BOTH parents is important to making healthy babies. At one time it was believed that only the age of the mother mattered to the health of babies but it is now known that older men have a much higher risk of producing unhealthy babies, too. So if for some reason you wanted another baby, I would hope you'd adopt.


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## Faithful Wife

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> This thread seems to me to be all rather academic, meaning for the sake of discussion only and not really relevant to most of us here. Most of us are married, so why do we care ?(and I mean that in a positive way).


It is mostly navel gazing...however there are many men here who adore their "older" wives, whether they are older or younger than themselves, and this does give those fellows an opportunity to gush about their beautiful women! :laugh:


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## DayOne

Faithful Wife said:


> It is mostly navel gazing...however there are many men here who adore their "older" wives, whether they are older or younger than themselves, and this does give those fellows an opportunity to gush about their beautiful women! :laugh:


My ears were burning, must have been your post! 

M'Lady is eight years older than me. If that makes her a cougar, then... I must have:











>


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## WilliamM

Well, we don't do dating. My wife has been hit on a few times. She had one comment.

She observes that the younger generations are more sexually inhibited than our generation was and is. But we are products of the sixties. Mary had a ton of crazy problems, but she does stick to that belief. Younger people are prudish. She embarrasses them often with her wild ways and freely sexual attitude, while members of our own cohort usually just laugh along with her.

It is possible that's because they just think anyone over 40 shouldn't have sex. That seems to be a common belief. Mary loves to assure them we have a very active sex life, and they cover their ears and run.


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## Haiku

peacem said:


> When I look back on old pictures of myself I cringe.


You certainly weren't cringing over those fashionably smooth and sexy stretch terry jumpsuits or those super high waisted pants with the belts positioned on the sternum were you? 

😆


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## Dru

My boyfriend is 17 years younger than me. He's mature and looks older, I'm somewhat immature and look younger. It works for us.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Faithful Wife said:


> Your whole post was good, but I just wanted to point out that the age of BOTH parents is important to making healthy babies. At one time it was believed that only the age of the mother mattered to the health of babies but it is now known that older men have a much higher risk of producing unhealthy babies, too. So if for some reason you wanted another baby, I would hope you'd adopt.


Someone needs to share this post with Mick Jaggar


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Way back when, from 16 to 25 yrs old there was likely 30% that were 5 and 10 years older, on a regular basis. A few were 15 years older. Almost all were now and then for a few years. Some were weekly. 
Gotta love women, of all ages.


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## Faithful Wife

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Way back when, from 16 to 25 yrs old there was likely 30% that were 5 and 10 years older, on a regular basis. A few were 15 years older. Almost all were now and then for a few years. Some were weekly.
> Gotta love women, of all ages.


Ha ha, Ragnar! I had forgotten about this thread. Wow...weird given that I just started dating a much younger guy, even though I resisted doing that and it wasn't a thing for me. It still isn't a thing, it is just that we dig each other. He would be offended if anyone called me a cougar or implied that's why he liked me. 

However if I was going to be a cougar, I would totally go for the young actor who played Ragnar on Vikings...yumm!


----------



## SunCMars

Now, heres the thing...

If I were to divorce, become available, availing, I would have to raid the nursing homes to go after those lovely, seven to fifteen year [older] beauties.

Cougars that old are not cougars. They have returned to kitten status.

Delicate and fragile and most aching, they be.

They, needing fourteen hours of sleep.


----------



## MovingForward

Once I got Divorced I was Mid 30's and Woman in mid 40's were seeking out men in my age range and a little below for sex, once told me guys her age could not keep up anymore. Very comfortable in own skin and knew exactly what they wanted and not afraid to ask for it.


----------



## SunCMars

Faithful Wife said:


> Years ago (when I was probably about 35) I was having a discussion in a forum with a bunch of guys about this topic. My stance, even then, was that men are men and men, and men are always going to want women of all ages, and that there are/were plenty of younger men always sniffing around, and that being "older" is in no way a deterrent to a huge percentage of men when it comes to attraction and pursuit.
> 
> One of the guys chimed in and told me that this wasn't true, that one day "my flower would fade and men would no longer look at me with lust in their eyes", and that I would no longer have value to men because age would devalue me, and that I should suck it all up now as much as I could because when men were no longer attracted to me I would be a sad, sorry, washed up old lady.
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> I knew the guy was wrong, but couldn't prove it, of course. I knew that what is attractive about me would continue to be attractive as I got older.
> 
> I'm 49 now and still am constantly pursued and hit on by men of all ages, but the highest numbers of them are younger than I am, some are a LOT younger (20 years or more). Some of these guys may believe that I'm younger than I actually am, until I tell them my age, and at that point they are just surprised but do not lessen their pursuit in the least. In other cases, men were hitting on me based on my profile which stated my true age, so they knew upfront. Didn't stop them, and in most cases my age made them want me even more (similar to the reasons @alexm stated).
> 
> The same man in the discussion also said that the opposite was true for men, and that young women LOVE older men, and that as men age they could be guaranteed more and more attention from younger women.
> 
> While I do agree that some extremely (physically) attractive men age so well that younger women do take a lot of notice....but I have never, ever seen any man my age be pursued and hit on by younger women in anything close to the numbers that it happens to me and my female cohorts.
> 
> I wish I could dig up that dude somehow and laugh in his face.


I suspect he was generalizing about women aging......... many not gracefully.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

For we are all as grass, and one day will wither and pass away. That's inevitable. One day we'll all struggle in some manner from age related issues. That's part of life. 
We talk only about a small part of life here, focused really on relationships issues, sex issues, but always remember life encumbers that and more. It's relationships that are encouraging, loving, considerate,......that are the meat of our sustenance. All should eat well.


----------



## Faithful Wife

SunCMars said:


> I suspect he was generalizing about women aging......... many not gracefully.


Yes he was a young man, stating his opinion that older women are not attractive to him and implying that he also speaks for all men...yet he was also brandishing it as if it was some kind of secret weapon men have over women. Like, bwah ha ha! You made us sexually desire you all of our lives but finally when we see you as old, you have no power over us!!!!! 

Um....ok but....why would the same guy turn around and talk about how younger women go for older men? The reality is that most young women feel similar to the way that guy felt like only for different reasons. More like, EW! Why do these way older men think I would EVER consider being with him? Has he seen his own icky old man ass?

Young women do NOT rush to older men in droves the way a lot of men try to say it happens. Whereas the opposite - younger men do rush to women - I would bet in much HIGHER numbers. 

So my point is really....men please reconsider trying to say this antiquated line of thinking anymore. There will always be younger people who are NOT attracted to older people, both genders. There is no reason for men to go around telling themselves and each other that huge numbers of younger women will by necessity want them when they are older - - at least not if in doing so what they are really saying is that the opposite doesn't happen to women. It does happen and it happens all the time.


----------



## DustyDog

Faithful Wife said:


> I just wanted to post a little about the attractiveness of "older" women.
> 
> It used to be taboo for a younger man to be with an older woman. It was not taboo for an older man to be with a younger woman and in fact, it was touted all over the place that men would always want a younger woman and that older women were no longer desirable.


None of that has been true during my lifetime and I'll bet I'm older than you.



Faithful Wife said:


> I really think this was just a cultural thing and a shame based thing.


No, it's a practical thing. Because of the differences in jobs that men and women hold, women are required to gain emotional maturity faster than men. Therefore, most women prefer older men, because men of the same age seem immature - because they are. What woman wants to be with a man who's emotionally immature compared with her?



Faithful Wife said:


> And therefore if men were attracted to or were in a relationship with an older women, they would be quiet about it and not cause a lot of attention to the subject, so even though it has always happened it just wasn't focused on because people would be shamed for it.


I don't know where that came from. Any man I have ever known has BRAGGED when he was with an older women. Men believe older women are more selective, therefore it is a badge of honor when an older woman chooses them.



Faithful Wife said:


> These days, people (and especially younger people) are more free to express their real desires...and that has opened a flood gate of younger men who are now free to express their attraction to "older" women.


Statistically, younger people ALL prefer older people...they want the wisdom, etc. The 20 year old man wants a 30 year old woman to teach him things about sex and relationships. The 20 year old woman wants the 30 year old man to teach her things about leading a successful life. The studies have been done...

The desire to be with younger people tends to start in old age (50s and 60s) when the person involved feels they want to prove to others that they "still got it". But that's not the only reason...I, for one, as I am now in my seventh decade, don't like spending time with people my age because none of them have enough energy to keep up with me. Presently, the woman I'm with is 15 years younger, has trouble keeping up with me physically, but I really like how freely she emotes.



Faithful Wife said:


> I'm using quotes for "older" to this point because of course there is quite a range that "older" could mean. But generally speaking, I mean women who are 5 - 15 years older than a man are now much more attractive and available to men than what was expressed in previous generations.


Not really. The first article I read on this was in the late 1960s. It turned out that 35-40 year old women were the most attractive in the eyes of men from age 20 to 55. I have read article since then that say exactly the same thing. Just saw one in Psychology today about two months ago.



Faithful Wife said:


> I personally do not date younger men. I would if one presented themselves in a way that was super alluring to me, but so far, none have successfully done so. OTOH, I have so many girlfriends who have no problem with it. Many prefer younger men and have no lack of options in that pool. I've found in my dating experiences post divorce that younger men by far were lining up to date me, so many more than men my own age or a little older (which is my preferred age range)....(though there were still plenty in my preferred age group, just saying the younger ones outnumbered them).
> 
> It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman, and also there are still a lot of men who tell themselves that men get more attractive with age but women don't. This is of course based on the thing about how women supposedly don't feel attraction based on looks but more on status or money, and men only feel attraction based on looks and that ALL women ALWAYS get less attractive as they age. Some even say that women "age out" at 28 and it is all downhill from there.
> 
> For any woman who fears getting older based on nonsense like the above...I'm here to tell you, it isn't true! Men of all ages and definitely younger men will ALWAYS be around and they will always be attracted to women! They don't stop being attracted to you once you hit a certain age. Maybe some guys will always have a stronger preference for women their own age or younger, but so many younger men will be strongly attracted to you that it simply doesn't matter.


I think there's an error in the logic there. Men tend to believe they'll get more sex if they agree with women. The biggest promoter of the notion that men age better than women isn't men - it's women's magazines. Men see that message and will re-state it simply because agreeing with women is supposed to lead to more fun in the sack.

I am almost ashamed to admit it but I ran the experiment twice. I plead extenuating circumstances - I was living in a place where it seemed everybody was shallow. So, I reasoned, since I would be unable to find a good relationship, I'd settle for frequent enough one-night-stands, based on any principles at all. In succession, I got intimate with five women the first time we got together. One 15 years older, one 12 years younger, the other three in between. And all I did was exclaim, to nearly everything they said, "that makes sense!" or "I hadn't thought of it that way, but it seems wise!". I did it again just a year ago, but this time, I simply chose one woman and have stayed with her, rather than keeping it a one-night stand. There's a Grimm's fairy tale that claims that what women want the most is "to be told they're right" and my now-embarrassing experiment seems to have provided supporting evidence.



Faithful Wife said:


> I think in the next couple of decades we will see the numbers of older woman-younger man relationships increase exponentially, because the taboo is now gone and because society is finally ready to accept women's sexuality (this has far reaching effects, including how society used to shut women up about being sexual at all, and most definitely "older" women were expected to not be sexual beings in any way).


Nah. It can't increase exponentially since, as of the last US Census, 25% of marriages are in a situation where the man is younger than the woman.

There's a guideline for age disparity - and it applies to both men and women. You should not date someone who is not at least half your age plus 7 years. So, for a 40 year old man or woman, your date should be at least 27 years old. For an 80 year old man or woman, your date should be at least 47. Interesting...I know a married couple who are exactly those ages - 47 and 80. They're both men in this case, but who says it can't work for same-sex couples?



Faithful Wife said:


> Go cougars!


Indeed, Cougars, keep on doing what you've been doing all along!!!


----------



## BluesPower

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm using quotes for "older" to this point because of course there is quite a range that "older" could mean. But generally speaking, I mean women who are 5 - 15 years older than a man are now much more attractive and available to men than what was expressed in previous generations.
> 
> It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no *hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman*, and also there are still a lot of men who tell themselves that men get more attractive with age but women don't. This is of course based on the thing about how women supposedly don't feel attraction based on looks but more on status or money, and men only feel attraction based on looks and that ALL women ALWAYS get less attractive as they age. Some even say that women "age out" at 28 and it is all downhill from there.


Do men really say this? 

Any man that says this is a fool, he is a wantabe player, and basically a moron. 

I am 53, and I get hit on all the time by women that are way too young for me, I mean my daughter is 27. 

Now I have dated a few 30 - 40 somethings, but my experience is that a lot of women don't even hit their prime until past 45. 

They are beautiful, mature, and let's face it, they are way, way better in bed. They are at an age where they are divorced at least once, they are not going to have kids, so that worry is gone, they don't have to be good girls anymore, because at that age who gives a S***. 

They are open, eager to learn, and absolutely delicious...

My GF is 60 YO, and I am sure that sounds old to the young guys. She had never really had a lot of good sex before we got together. Not a lot of experience but let me tell you, she is so freaking hot. 

She is of French decent, slim, perfect T****, just the whole package. 

I showed her a few things and she is now giving me a run for my money. She has a huge sex drive that was never allowed to develop with the losers she was with. She is actually a dream in every way, not just sexually. 

No, older women are way more sexy that a 25 YO. 45 and above for me, if I was not in a relationship. 

Men that don't understand this don't really know what they are doing...


----------



## Faithful Wife

BluesPower said:


> Do men really say this? ....


Yes - they really say this.

But I'm coming to understand that men who DO say this are actually just trying to compensate for some kind of insecurity they have about women and not being chosen by women.

Also you see it around here at TAM a lot....one of the first things men tell a male BS here is that he will be lucky when he comes out on the other side of a D because younger women will be throwing themselves at him while his ex-w will be "damaged goods" with kids and no man will want her. This is the message that perplexes me the most. Having known so many single moms my whole life and seeing every single one of them be pursued by men over and over....I mean...??? 

It is true that: some men will have younger women interested in them.

It is true that: some single moms will not have very men interested in them.

However it is also true that: many single moms and women in general will have MANY younger men interested in them, as well as older men interested in them. To imply that men go up in value as they age and women go down in value is just silly and untrue.


----------



## sa58

Who really cares what other people think.
If you have found someone older or younger 
and enjoy spending time with that person then 
live your life. As long as you are not cheating 
or harming anyone be happy. You have one life
to live . LIVE IT !!


----------



## Faithful Wife

sa58 said:


> Who really cares what other people think.
> If you have found someone older or younger
> and enjoy spending time with that person then
> live your life. As long as you are not cheating
> or harming anyone be happy. You have one life
> to live . LIVE IT !!


Indeed.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11

I've had a few women in my life, not a lot, but a few and some experienced, some not, but I can't say any of them were really better in bed. The more experienced ones weren't doing somersaults or anything special. Of course, it's entirely possible I have no idea what I'm doing in bed, but if we both orgasm I consider it a success.


----------



## john117

SunCMars said:


> I suspect he was generalizing about women aging......... many not gracefully.


The aging process is not linear.

S-wife looked 15 years younger thru age 50. Easily. I have pics of her at age 50 with cruise formal wear that are pretty damned good. 

Age 50 to 55 was where she started getting closer to her own age. Not because she let go or anything. She's been around 125 lb all her life. Very athletic. But the face began looking tired, etc. 

55 to 59 is more of the same. She still looked better than most women her age I know. But aging gracefully, not sure. Of course 50-59 she worked from home and was not much of a home dresser so...

I suppose with a bit of plastic surgery she could look a heck of a lot better. But, why Botox when you can spend it on home improvements I suppose.

Meanwhile I've looked about the same. At 50 I looked older, but now at 58 I look a lot younger than my oldster age buddies...


----------



## BadGrammar

Faithful Wife said:


> .but I have never, ever seen any man my age be pursued and hit on by younger women in anything close to the numbers that it happens to me and my female cohorts.
> 
> I wish I could dig up that dude somehow and laugh in his face.


I do not doubt this. Mainly, because most young men will sleep with any woman who seems attainable (at least once). Many young men are more interested in racking up notches on their bedpost than in finding a relationship partner. That said... if there is sexual chemistry and a real connection, the age of either party may be of little importance.


----------



## Faithful Wife

BadGrammar said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> .but I have never, ever seen any man my age be pursued and hit on by younger women in anything close to the numbers that it happens to me and my female cohorts.
> 
> I wish I could dig up that dude somehow and laugh in his face. <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Stick Out Tongue" ></a>
> 
> 
> 
> I do not doubt this. Mainly, because most young men will sleep with any woman who seems attainable (at least once). Many young men are more interested in racking up notches on their bedpost than in finding a relationship partner. That said... if there is sexual chemistry and a real connection, the age of either party may be of little importance.
Click to expand...

Yes younger men pursue harder. They have more energy for it. They pursue sex harder, but they also pursue relationships harder and career and most other things too. Men eventually learn what is the most valuable thing to pursue (different for each man) and become more efficient by spending more time in pursuit of the things they know bring them the most happiness. That’s why I usually prefer men my own age or older.

Younger men have more energy, older men have more mojo.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11

Faithful Wife said:


> BluesPower said:
> 
> 
> 
> Do men really say this? ....
> 
> 
> 
> Yes - they really say this.
> 
> But I'm coming to understand that men who DO say this are actually just trying to compensate for some kind of insecurity they have about women and not being chosen by women.
> 
> Also you see it around here at TAM a lot....one of the first things men tell a male BS here is that he will be lucky when he comes out on the other side of a D because younger women will be throwing themselves at him while his ex-w will be "damaged goods" with kids and no man will want her. This is the message that perplexes me the most. Having known so many single moms my whole life and seeing every single one of them be pursued by men over and over....I mean...???
> 
> It is true that: some men will have younger women interested in them.
> 
> It is true that: some single moms will not have very men interested in them.
> 
> However it is also true that: many single moms and women in general will have MANY younger men interested in them, as well as older men interested in them. To imply that men go up in value as they age and women go down in value is just silly and untrue.
Click to expand...

Of course it's true. Mainly because women generally find older men more attractive while men find younger women more attractive. That is all I've seen and personally experienced my entire life and yes their are outliers but few and far between. Let me draw a supply and demand curve to demonstrate, and introduce you to my gf 10 years my junior. 

Maybe the rules are changing, I haven't seen it though.


----------



## Faithful Wife

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Of course it's true. Mainly because women generally find older men more attractive while men find younger women more attractive. That is all I've seen and personally experienced my entire life and yes their are outliers but few and far between. Let me draw a supply and demand curve to demonstrate, and introduce you to my gf 10 years my junior.
> 
> Maybe the rules are changing, I haven't seen it though.


Ok, the assumption that women generally find older men more attractive....I challenge this. 

I think people of all ages generally find young people attractive. Let's face it, youth is beautiful!

The assumption about younger women finding older men attractive has included the idea that the older man has more wealth and stature than a younger man. Yet we all know he also has more miles on his body.

The assumption that men find younger women more attractive I think is true...but if you want to gauge it on pure physical attraction, then younger men win that contest in the same way younger women do. If the contest is purely about raw lusting for youthful bodies, then I'm sorry but no, older men are not "more" attractive to younger women. Instead, buff, tall young bucks are the most attractive to women when judged on that alone. It's no contest actually.

But...if you are a mature adult, you realize that bodies with a few miles on them are no less of a turn on to you. You no longer idolize only youthful bodies. You allow a person's story to be told to you with their body and in this way, people become more attractive and more interesting. You don't see signs of aging as a turn off, and actually get turned on by them. You see deeper into people and the deeper you see them, the sexier they are.


----------



## Red Sonja

john117 said:


> It's a numbers game... The number of available 45+ women is pretty good, but the number of available, well preserved, able, willing, and no significant skeletons​ in closet is considerably smaller.


And, it's the same situation for 45+ men. Some _people _take care of themselves as they age and some don't.


----------



## arbitrator

*The "Tri-Delta" Definition of Cougar from Animal House ~ Please watch!*

*https://youtu.be/DAw0BONOKkg*


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> I have a son that age. When he was in high school (and even now) he always got the "mom" jokes thrown at him. He didn't like it but it was so frequent he had to just roll with it and accept that many guys would always see me as a cougar.
> 
> He had one friend who used to call him "Stacy", in reference to this song:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4
> 
> I had never even heard the song before my son told me about his friend.


Hahaha! Funny but that one made me uncomfortable.


----------



## Red Sonja

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm 49 now and still am constantly pursued and hit on by men of all ages, but the highest numbers of them are younger than I am, some are a LOT younger (20 years or more). Some of these guys may believe that I'm younger than I actually am, until I tell them my age, and at that point they are just surprised but do not lessen their pursuit in the least. In other cases, men were hitting on me based on my profile which stated my true age, so they knew upfront. Didn't stop them, and in most cases my age made them want me even more


This has been my experience also. I am 61 years old, divorced 4 years ago and it has been the 30 to 45 year old men that pursue me, this is mostly in IRL (a few online).

This was very surprising to me at first however I had not dated in 35 years so what did I know?


----------



## ConanHub

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Of course it's true. Mainly because women generally find older men more attractive while men find younger women more attractive. That is all I've seen and personally experienced my entire life and yes their are outliers but few and far between. Let me draw a supply and demand curve to demonstrate, and introduce you to my gf 10 years my junior.
> 
> Maybe the rules are changing, I haven't seen it though.


FW has some valid points in this thread. Young women are without a doubt attractive but older women, that have been able to stay healthy and in shape, hold an exceptional fascination for me.

I met my wife when I was 20 and she a 31 year old single mother.

We will celebrate our 23rd anniversary this year and 27 years since our first date.


----------



## wild jade

All the guys that I've ever talked to about this have had at least one crush, affair, or relationship with an older woman at some point. 

Seems to me like it's always been super common for young dudes to go after older women.


----------



## minimalME

ConanHub said:


> Young women are without a doubt attractive but older women, that have been able to stay healthy and in shape, hold an exceptional fascination for me.


It is fascinating how just staying in shapes earns respect. 

I'm 51, and I work with men and women half my age. The guys are all super nice to me. Not in a flirty, sleep-with-me kind of way. Just really sweet. They go out of their way to be helpful - lift things that are heavy, cook for me, etc. It's nice.

Also, my dad mentions how I look each time he sees me. He seems somewhat surprised that I'm still slim.


----------



## Faithful Wife

wild jade said:


> All the guys that I've ever talked to about this have had at least one crush, affair, or relationship with an older woman at some point.
> 
> Seems to me like it's always been super common for young dudes to go after older women.


Yes I've realized that TAM and PUA sites are pretty much the only places I hear the opposite. 

Case closed.


----------



## Ikaika

wild jade said:


> All the guys that I've ever talked to about this have had at least one crush, affair, or relationship with an older woman at some point.
> 
> 
> 
> Seems to me like it's always been super common for young dudes to go after older women.






Faithful Wife said:


> Yes I've realized that TAM and PUA sites are pretty much the only places I hear the opposite.
> 
> 
> 
> Case closed.




And, when you become as old as me (but I still like to think of myself young - working out with 20 and 30 year olds) this is a scary thought :grin2:

Really though I get it, there is a time a man’s life when that older (not too old) woman seems attractive. But, naive, dense and innocent men like myself don’t really don’t have many tales to tell. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## ConanHub

It is actually incredibly easy for an older, attractive woman to seduce a younger man. More so I would say than the opposite.


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> It is actually incredibly easy for an older, attractive woman to seduce a younger man. More so I would say than the opposite.


I think someone specifically trying to seduce another person is kind of it's own thing....older men sometimes are able to do this simply because they know how to manipulate people better than a younger man does....all this is relative to the seducer and the seduced, what basis of seduction is used, timing, etc.

FWIW...I've never enjoyed seducing or being seduced. I've always preferred just a straight up hell yes or a hell nah. There's no need for me to try to change someone's mind from no to yes, and no need for anyone to do that to me either.

In loving relationships, we would sometimes seduce each other but it had none of the connotations of a cold seduce between non-committed partners.


----------



## BluesPower

Faithful Wife said:


> I think someone specifically trying to seduce another person is kind of it's own thing....older men sometimes are able to do this simply because they know how to manipulate people better than a younger man does....all this is relative to the seducer and the seduced, what basis of seduction is used, timing, etc.
> 
> FWIW...I've never enjoyed seducing or being seduced. I've always preferred just a straight up hell yes or a hell nah. There's no need for me to try to change someone's mind from no to yes, and no need for anyone to do that to me either.
> 
> In loving relationships, we would sometimes seduce each other but it had none of the connotations of a cold seduce between non-committed partners.


Agree totally with this. I have never seduced a woman, or I sure did not think I was. She either wants to be with me and sex happens or she does not. Ok, either way. 

Not sure I understand putting in a lot of effort to get laid, seems easy enough.

For me the effort, and the real fun, comes with being in a relationship. That is where you learn about each other and continue falling in love. 

I am def a relationship guy these days...


----------



## PigglyWiggly

Older women are very sexy and often very secure in what they want but there is no denying the enthusiasm and desire that younger women can put out there. Desire is an aphrodisiac that make men weak in the knees no matter their age.


----------



## Faithful Wife

PigglyWiggly said:


> Older women are very sexy and often very secure in what they want but there is no denying the enthusiasm and desire that younger women can put out there. Desire is an aphrodisiac that make men weak in the knees no matter their age.


If we go by what is reported frequently at TAM, there are plenty of young wives who have no desire for their husband. In those cases, these husbands would probably prefer a wife of any age that does desire them and shows enthusiasm when having sex with them. 

And as far as the other side of this coin goes, so far in my experience the younger men bring more energy to sex and are more likely to have the strength to do some of the fun circus sex moves. However, older men in my experience can usually keep up as long as I pick one who is in great shape!


----------



## Ikaika

Faithful Wife said:


> However, older men in my experience can usually keep up as long as I pick one who is in great shape!




My gut tells me that this is a high bar meet. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## ReformedHubby

I don't really care for online dating. But...I did notice that as I viewed profiles, I was shocked that so many younger women just really weren't in that great a shape compared to the older ones. I never thought I would date a woman over 50, at my age...but...in all honesty the older woman I dated blew away most women half her age. She really did not look her age at all. I would never have known if we didn't travel together and I saw her passport. She was claiming ten years younger.


----------



## PigglyWiggly

Faithful Wife said:


> If we go by what is reported frequently at TAM, there are plenty of young wives who have no desire for their husband. In those cases, these husbands would probably prefer a wife of any age that does desire them and shows enthusiasm when having sex with them.
> 
> And as far as the other side of this coin goes, so far in my experience the younger men bring more energy to sex and are more likely to have the strength to do some of the fun circus sex moves. However, older men in my experience can usually keep up as long as I pick one who is in great shape!


subreddits sex vs sexover30 and gonewild vs gonewildover30 definitely show the enthusiasm gap.


----------



## minimalME

Faithful Wife said:


> circus sex moves


----------



## Diana7

Faithful Wife said:


> I just wanted to post a little about the attractiveness of "older" women.
> 
> It used to be taboo for a younger man to be with an older woman. It was not taboo for an older man to be with a younger woman and in fact, it was touted all over the place that men would always want a younger woman and that older women were no longer desirable.
> 
> I really think this was just a cultural thing and a shame based thing. And therefore if men were attracted to or were in a relationship with an older women, they would be quiet about it and not cause a lot of attention to the subject, so even though it has always happened it just wasn't focused on because people would be shamed for it.
> 
> These days, people (and especially younger people) are more free to express their real desires...and that has opened a flood gate of younger men who are now free to express their attraction to "older" women.
> 
> I'm using quotes for "older" to this point because of course there is quite a range that "older" could mean. But generally speaking, I mean women who are 5 - 15 years older than a man are now much more attractive and available to men than what was expressed in previous generations.
> 
> I personally do not date younger men. I would if one presented themselves in a way that was super alluring to me, but so far, none have successfully done so. OTOH, I have so many girlfriends who have no problem with it. Many prefer younger men and have no lack of options in that pool. I've found in my dating experiences post divorce that younger men by far were lining up to date me, so many more than men my own age or a little older (which is my preferred age range)....(though there were still plenty in my preferred age group, just saying the younger ones outnumbered them).
> 
> It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman, and also there are still a lot of men who tell themselves that men get more attractive with age but women don't. This is of course based on the thing about how women supposedly don't feel attraction based on looks but more on status or money, and men only feel attraction based on looks and that ALL women ALWAYS get less attractive as they age. Some even say that women "age out" at 28 and it is all downhill from there.
> 
> For any woman who fears getting older based on nonsense like the above...I'm here to tell you, it isn't true! Men of all ages and definitely younger men will ALWAYS be around and they will always be attracted to women! They don't stop being attracted to you once you hit a certain age. Maybe some guys will always have a stronger preference for women their own age or younger, but so many younger men will be strongly attracted to you that it simply doesn't matter.
> 
> I think in the next couple of decades we will see the numbers of older woman-younger man relationships increase exponentially, because the taboo is now gone and because society is finally ready to accept women's sexuality (this has far reaching effects, including how society used to shut women up about being sexual at all, and most definitely "older" women were expected to not be sexual beings in any way).
> 
> Go cougars!


5 years is nothing and I wouldn't call that being a cougar. Its when you get partners who are in a different generation(at least 15-20 years difference) that you get problems, especially as they get older and one is old and one is still wanting to live and enjoy life. 

I have never had any attraction to men who are my sons age, and to be honest you still rarely see couples where the woman is a lot older unless the woman is rich and famous like Madonna. Even with them these relationships rarely last long. When I think of the countless couples I have known, the biggest age difference where the women was older was 7 years and in both cases the women died and the men are both now married again.

I cant see that many men in their 40's would be interested in a women who was in her 60's or 70's.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Diana7 said:


> I cant see that many men in their 40's would be interested in a women who was in her 60's or 70's.


I haven't seen age differences - no matter which is older - span more than 15 years. I certainly don't see it happening with a 20 - 30 year age gap as you've mentioned here. 

My point was that a 5 - 15 year age gap where the woman is older is happening all the time, whereas many men claim this isn't true and that only men are pursued by women that much younger. 

According to standard TAM advice to BH's, they are guaranteed a "younger, hotter" woman than their cheating STBX. And then they are told that their cheating skank STBX will have no market value.

But the reality is not quite like that - - and valuing a partner primarily because they are "younger and hotter" kind of makes you a douche, IMO. Just like a woman primarily valuing a partner because he is "rich and will buy me things" makes her a douche. Of course this doesn't really apply to hookups, where younger/hotter/richer/buys me more are things that may or may not come into play.


----------



## Faithful Wife

ReformedHubby said:


> I don't really care for online dating. But...I did notice that as I viewed profiles, I was shocked that so many younger women just really weren't in that great a shape compared to the older ones. I never thought I would date a woman over 50, at my age...but...in all honesty the older woman I dated blew away most women half her age. She really did not look her age at all. I would never have known if we didn't travel together and I saw her passport. She was claiming ten years younger.


I had a guy I met on OLD say this same thing about younger people...he was saying people in their 20's and 30's around here are very unfit and that people closer to our age (he is 6 years younger than me) tend to be more fit. He was saying where he is from (he has only lived in this area for 2 years), it wasn't like this with the young people. Something about our area makes people a bit soft and chubby. Partially I blame the 10 months of rain that makes you want to just watch Netflix and eat...then the sun finally comes out and we look like blind moles sneaking out of our caves. 

I have a friend who is 50 who puts her age as 40. She is only interested in men 40 and younger. If she finds one she wants to meet in person, she tells them her real age. I personally wouldn't do this, but apparently a lot of people do. The ones who look to be the age they are claiming can get away with it, I suppose.


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> I think someone specifically trying to seduce another person is kind of it's own thing....older men sometimes are able to do this simply because they know how to manipulate people better than a younger man does....all this is relative to the seducer and the seduced, what basis of seduction is used, timing, etc.
> 
> FWIW...I've never enjoyed seducing or being seduced. I've always preferred just a straight up hell yes or a hell nah. There's no need for me to try to change someone's mind from no to yes, and no need for anyone to do that to me either.
> 
> In loving relationships, we would sometimes seduce each other but it had none of the connotations of a cold seduce between non-committed partners.


I get where you're coming from. I was more referring to the pleasant side of seduction with far less unwilling elements.

Good seduction, to me, is being so attractive on many levels that someone falls for you. Although, as with everything, having the ability to seduce can easily be abused.

It seems, at least to me, that it is very flattering if a mature, attractive woman shows interest in a young man.


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> Good seduction, to me, is being so attractive on many levels that someone falls for you.


I can see where a person can be seductive simply by how alluring they are to an individual.

Attempting to seduce - IMO - is different. 

It's the old "can't help it I'm just drawn that way" syndrome. 

Me wanting to have sex with someone is about a lot more than just how seductive either of us are. People can be seductive (as in alluring) but still be a dud in bed. I don't take chances on being "seduced" if I don't test things out and have some conversations first.


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> I can see where a person can be seductive simply by how alluring they are to an individual.
> 
> Attempting to seduce - IMO - is different.
> 
> It's the old "can't help it I'm just drawn that way" syndrome.
> 
> Me wanting to have sex with someone is about a lot more than just how seductive either of us are. People can be seductive (as in alluring) but still be a dud in bed. I don't take chances on being "seduced" if I don't test things out and have some conversations first.


I've been off the market so long I don't know how I would react. Mrs. C does almost anything involving movement and she can have me with a smile and a wink.

When I was single, I was actually very picky.


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> I've been off the market so long I don't know how I would react. Mrs. C does almost anything involving movement and she can have me with a smile and a wink.
> 
> When I was single, I was actually very picky.


Yeah - in a relationship I think things are different, especially a relationship with a great sex life. There's already high expectations and a good sense of knowing how your partner feels in any given moment. 

I think in some sexless marriages, these guys are doing what they think, hope and pray will "seduce" their wives...and typically it doesn't seem to work. Again, when it is anything like "trying to get someone from a no to a yes", I just don't think it is effective usually and is totally yucky to the other person sometimes.

In my marriage, my H loved me to tease him and be seductive with my actions and looks, etc. That was easy and fun and we both knew where it was going to lead. He just enjoyed the lead up to it and being teased. He would also do anything I asked along those lines too...like I could ask him to do a sexy Chippendale's dance for me or stand and flex his biceps for me, and he'd be happily in male stripper mode within seconds. :smthumbup:


----------



## Ikaika

ConanHub said:


> When I was single, I was actually very picky.




I will admit, that when I was single I was not very picky, although I was always careful, only sired two boys with my wife (that I fully aware of). 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


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## BluesPower

Faithful Wife said:


> Yeah - in a relationship I think things are different, especially a relationship with a great sex life. There's already high expectations and a good sense of knowing how your partner feels in any given moment.


In a healthy relationship I think this is a good description. In a sexless relationship, which I cannot fully understand for a lot of reasons, I just think the "seduction" concept is horribly sad and degrading. 

But my GF lets me know when she wants sex, which is not that hard because she always wants sex, and I am the same way. And I let her know, usually with a kiss. But most of the time, at night or morning, when we cuddle, which we do a lot, it just kind of happens. 

I will say that several girls that I have known, and GF is no exception, do one seduction thing that is great and a little annoying sometimes. 

When they know I have to go to a gig, or whatever, and they are staying home, GF thinks it is really funny and sexy to be overly sexy and make me make love to her. 

I mean she knows I have to leave, she knows I am not going to deny her sex, so I don't know what that is about, it must be a girl thing.


----------



## Wolf1974

I know now In my early 40’s I either date my age or younger. When I was younger I know the cougar thing was very much a fantasy. But that wasn’t so much about older women as it was confident women, and that comes with age. Sexually open, know what they want, don’t **** around or beat around the bush. Now I am dating in that age bracket and it’s a blast. I would take a confident woman over a young non confident woman any day.


----------



## notmyrealname4

Faithful Wife said:


> Your whole post was good, but I just wanted to point out that the age of BOTH parents is important to making healthy babies. At one time it was believed that only the age of the mother mattered to the health of babies but it is now known that older men have a much higher risk of producing unhealthy babies, too. So if for some reason you wanted another baby, I would hope you'd adopt.





Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Someone needs to share this post with Mick Jaggar



Yep, and *Andres Segovia*



> Segovia's first marriage ended in divorce in 1951. In 1961 he married a 22-year-old guitarist, Emilia Corral Sancho, a student of his. *Their son, Carlos Andres*, now 17, *was born when Segovia was 77 years old*. A son, Andres, and a daughter, Beatrice, by his first wife were born more than half a century before Carlos Andres. He once told an interviewer, ''I am more celebrated for being a father than an artist.''



https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/bday/0221.html


*David Jason*




> DAVID JASON, the actor best known for his portrayal of Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses, *became a father for the first time last night at the age of 61.*


https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1324288/David-Jasons-new-role-as-father-at-61.html

*Hugh Hefner*




> The following year, he married Playmate of the Year Kimberley Conrad; they were 36 years apart in age. *The couple had two sons: Marston Glenn (born 1990) and Cooper Hefner (born 1991)*.


 _Wikipedia_

Hefner, born in 1926, would have been *approximately 64 and 65 years old when these kids were born.*


*Donald Trump*

Barron Trump was born in 2006. Donald Trump was born in 1946. *Trump was approximately 60 years old when Barron was born.*



I don't consider women having pregnancies at 50+ years, using all kinds of artificial reproductive technology to be the same as men naturally having children at the same ages. If anything, the use of donor eggs, surrogate mothers, mass ingestion of hormones etc.etc. , just goes to prove that women are largely infertile as they become middle-aged.


I think young men "line up" to have sex with older women, because they see it as low-hanging fruit. Horny 40-something women are the ideal way to get a lot of sexual experience----hopefully lessons that will teach young men how to be successful with younger women.

I also think these guys---though they'd never cop to it-----enjoy being "mothered". Whatever that might be. Receiving gifts from a successful woman. Having her pay his way. Or, doing his laundry and cooking for him. Great load of freebies to get while he is young and starting out.


If women want to do this; and their eyes are open to the possible downfalls; that's fine.

But any woman who invests her heart and ends up truly loving and caring for a much younger guy; I think it would be horrifying when he finally decides he wants someone as young as himself. And there she's left; alone again and on the wrong side of 50.


To any people reading this who are in a successful older woman/younger man marriage; congratulations and I wish you all the best. I just happen to think that your relationship is an expection to the rule.


----------



## Faithful Wife

notmyrealname4 said:


> I think young men "line up" to have sex with older women, *because they see it as low-hanging fruit*. Horny 40-something women are the ideal way to get a lot of sexual experience----hopefully lessons that will teach young men how to be successful with younger women.


Yes - the bolded - I hear this one a lot. It is as if some people just have to try to shame a man for authentically being attracted to a woman if she is older. That's the exact attitude I'm talking about on this thread that I really only see here and on PUA crap.

It is typically the same guys who don't see themselves as "low hanging fruit" to these supposed droves of younger women who want to be with them, even though they clearly are. They sure don't want to hear it that maybe, just maybe, this younger woman sees him as a wallet or daddy figure...even while out of the other side of their mouth they will claim that a guy who enjoys an older woman must have some mommy issues.


----------



## Faithful Wife

BluesPower said:


> I mean she knows I have to leave, she knows I am not going to deny her sex, so I don't know what that is about, it must be a girl thing.


What kind of gig? Sounds like she just wants to mark you as "taken".


----------



## notmyrealname4

Faithful Wife said:


> Yes - the bolded - I hear this one a lot. It is as if some people just have to try to shame a man for authentically being attracted to a woman if she is older. That's the exact attitude I'm talking about on this thread that I really only see here and on PUA crap.
> 
> It is typically the same guys who don't see themselves as "low hanging fruit" to these supposed droves of younger women who want to be with them, even though they clearly are. They sure don't want to hear it that maybe, just maybe, this younger woman sees him as a wallet or daddy figure...even while out of the other side of their mouth they will claim that a guy who enjoys an older woman must have some mommy issues.



Not shaming anyone. A horny, readily available woman is the moth to a flame for very young, testosterone-oozing men. She wants it, he wants it. And as referenced over and over and over again; older women, "don't play games", "know what they want", "are very sexually experienced"

Did I say that the older woman wasn't physically attractive at all? No, I did not.

But given a young pretty woman, who may want a boyfriend--or who knows she can be highly selective---versus an older attractive woman who is in heat (a cougar), and wants to get to sex right away (advertises the fact usually)----which one is a young guy going to jump at the chance of being with? Not always, but usually?

And of course young, beautiful women can see old coots as low hanging fruit. A way to get lavished with adoration and pressies from some idiot who still thinks he's "got it". And yes, these girls can definitely have "daddy issues".

"No fool like an old fool", works both ways. I've always believed it of old men; and I also believe it of old women.


----------



## Diana7

Faithful Wife said:


> I haven't seen age differences - no matter which is older - span more than 15 years. I certainly don't see it happening with a 20 - 30 year age gap as you've mentioned here.
> 
> My point was that a 5 - 15 year age gap where the woman is older is happening all the time, whereas many men claim this isn't true and that only men are pursued by women that much younger.
> 
> According to standard TAM advice to BH's, they are guaranteed a "younger, hotter" woman than their cheating STBX. And then they are told that their cheating skank STBX will have no market value.
> 
> But the reality is not quite like that - - and valuing a partner primarily because they are "younger and hotter" kind of makes you a douche, IMO. Just like a woman primarily valuing a partner because he is "rich and will buy me things" makes her a douche. Of course this doesn't really apply to hookups, where younger/hotter/richer/buys me more are things that may or may not come into play.


A gap of just a few years is barely noticeable, certainly not what I would describe as cougar-ish. 

I agree on what you said in that men are encouraged to chase some younger lady as if they are all going to be able to date an attractive young woman. Most much younger women have more sense than to want a daddy figure unless he is rich and famous. :surprise:

As it happens my husband is younger than me...........ok only a year younger, but I often jokingly call him my 'toy boy'. :laugh:


----------



## Faithful Wife

notmyrealname4 said:


> Not shaming anyone. A *horny, readily available* woman is the moth to a flame for very young, testosterone-oozing men. *She wants it*, he wants it. And as referenced over and over and over again; older women, "don't play games", "know what they want", "are very sexually experienced"
> 
> Did I say that the older woman wasn't physically attractive at all? No, I did not.
> 
> But given a young pretty woman, who may want a boyfriend--or who knows she can be highly selective---versus an *older attractive woman who is in heat (a cougar)*, and *wants to get to sex right away (advertises the fact usually)*----which one is a young guy going to jump at the chance of being with? Not always, but usually?


The bolded are shaming words and you are the only one who has used them on this thread. The implication that the older woman is necessarily "in heat" and is actively/aggressively trying to get that sex from the young cub is a stereotype just meant to further the idea that there would be no honest interest in an older woman by a younger man.

Completely ignoring the reality of these situations to overlay your opinion with the stereotype makes me feel your opinion is of the type I originally made this thread about. Regardless of your attempts to make it seem otherwise. It really just oozes out of your posts, no question about it.

Also "very young, testosterone filled" man comment...is another attempt to stereotype and ignore what I've actually been talking about and try to switch it over to what you are talking about.

Again - - you just seem to want to make it about your preconceived notions, instead of what is really happening. And oh yes, if it is really happening, it must be an outlier...because you speak for all men and know what all men are attracted to.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Diana7 said:


> A gap of just a few years is barely noticeable, certainly not what I would describe as cougar-ish.


In my thread title, I was just being cheeky using the word Cougar. What I am really discussing is the phenomenon I've seen at TAM and PUA crap sites about how men magically become "more attractive" as they age and women are only attractive until they are 28 years old and go downhill from there. Granted, TAM men are more in the camp of the younger, hotter woman that is apparently due to every betrayed husband, and the PUA crap is more about how all men magically get better with age.


----------



## notmyrealname4

Faithful Wife said:


> The bolded are shaming words and you are the only one who has used them on this thread. The implication that the older woman is necessarily "in heat" and is actively/aggressively trying to get that sex from the young cub is a stereotype just meant to further the idea that there would be no honest interest in an older woman by a younger man.
> 
> Completely ignoring the reality of these situations to overlay your opinion with the stereotype makes me feel your opinion is of the type I originally made this thread about. Regardless of your attempts to make it seem otherwise. It really just oozes out of your posts, no question about it.
> 
> Also "very young, testosterone filled" man comment...is another attempt to stereotype and ignore what I've actually been talking about and try to switch it over to what you are talking about.
> 
> Again - - you just seem to want to make it about your preconceived notions, instead of what is really happening. And oh yes, if it is really happening, it must be an outlier...because you speak for all men and know what all men are attracted to.




Nah, they are words. Not "shaming" words.

From 47-51ish I was a woman in heat. Finally at 52, I'm beginning to cool down. Those four years were something else. Spent with a husband who, largely, has lost interest in sex or me , or both. But, make no mistake, I was "in heat". Perfect way to describe it.

I am monogamously married. So I aggressively tried to get sex from my husband. Often greeting him at the door when he got off work. Asking if I could go down on him, please. I was "actively" and "aggressively" trying to get sex from him every day.

How I longed for his "oozing testosterone" 20-something sex drive. Hoped, longed, fantasized about. "Oozing testosterone" is a compliment.

You used the term cougar. *Calling all Cougars* is the name of your thread. From Wikipedia.



> The origin of the word cougar as a *slang term* is debated, but it is thought to have originated in Western Canada and first appeared in print on the Canadian dating website Cougardate.com.[3] It has also been stated to have "originated in Vancouver, British Columbia,* as a put-down for older women who would go to bars and go home with whomever was left at the end of the night"*.[1]
> 
> The term has been variously applied to women who pursue sexual relations with men more than eight years younger than they are,[4] and to women over the age of 50 who *aggressively pursue sexual relations with men in their 20s or 30s*.[2][5][6] However, the term can also refer to any female who has a male partner much younger than herself, regardless of age or age difference.[7][8]



So it's a sexual slang term first coined in bars. It's always going to have a vulgar association. So what.


----------



## Faithful Wife

notmyrealname4 said:


> How I longed for his "oozing testosterone" 20-something sex drive. Hoped, longed, fantasized about. "Oozing testosterone" is a compliment.
> 
> . . . . . . . . .
> 
> So it's a sexual slang term first coined in bars. It's always going to have a vulgar association. So what.


To the first point, if you are speaking for yourself, sure - go for it.

Nothing you described has described me, nor the many people I've talked to in real life in this dating game who don't see it the way you had described it, so please don't speak for me.

To the second point, I had used the word cougar in my title in a cheeky way but was actually just discussing genuine attraction that some men have for older women.


----------



## notmyrealname4

Faithful Wife said:


> To the first point, if you are speaking for yourself, sure - go for it.
> 
> Nothing you described has described me, nor the many people I've talked to in real life in this dating game who don't see it the way you had described it, so please don't speak for me.
> 
> To the second point, I had used the word cougar in my title in a cheeky way but was actually just discussing genuine attraction that some men have for older women.




Thanks for allowing me to speak for myself.

I don't care if anything I said describes you or your friends. I spoke for myself from my own life experiences. I had no intention to speak for you. If it came across that way, I apologize; but I don't apologize for having a different opinion or life experience than you.

Yeah, maybe your thread title should have been "Older Women, Younger Men". But interestingly enough, you labeled it, "Calling all Cougars".


----------



## Marcieme

Faithful Wife said:


> I just wanted to post a little about the attractiveness of "older" women.
> 
> It used to be taboo for a younger man to be with an older woman. It was not taboo for an older man to be with a younger woman and in fact, it was touted all over the place that men would always want a younger woman and that older women were no longer desirable.
> 
> I really think this was just a cultural thing and a shame based thing. And therefore if men were attracted to or were in a relationship with an older women, they would be quiet about it and not cause a lot of attention to the subject, so even though it has always happened it just wasn't focused on because people would be shamed for it.
> 
> These days, people (and especially younger people) are more free to express their real desires...and that has opened a flood gate of younger men who are now free to express their attraction to "older" women.
> 
> I'm using quotes for "older" to this point because of course there is quite a range that "older" could mean. But generally speaking, I mean women who are 5 - 15 years older than a man are now much more attractive and available to men than what was expressed in previous generations.
> 
> I personally do not date younger men. I would if one presented themselves in a way that was super alluring to me, but so far, none have successfully done so. OTOH, I have so many girlfriends who have no problem with it. Many prefer younger men and have no lack of options in that pool. I've found in my dating experiences post divorce that younger men by far were lining up to date me, so many more than men my own age or a little older (which is my preferred age range)....(though there were still plenty in my preferred age group, just saying the younger ones outnumbered them).
> 
> It amuses me that there are still so many men (not necessarily at TAM) who will say just straight up and with no hesitation that an older woman will never ever be as sexy/beautiful as a younger woman, and also there are still a lot of men who tell themselves that men get more attractive with age but women don't. This is of course based on the thing about how women supposedly don't feel attraction based on looks but more on status or money, and men only feel attraction based on looks and that ALL women ALWAYS get less attractive as they age. Some even say that women "age out" at 28 and it is all downhill from there.
> 
> For any woman who fears getting older based on nonsense like the above...I'm here to tell you, it isn't true! Men of all ages and definitely younger men will ALWAYS be around and they will always be attracted to women! They don't stop being attracted to you once you hit a certain age. Maybe some guys will always have a stronger preference for women their own age or younger, but so many younger men will be strongly attracted to you that it simply doesn't matter.
> 
> I think in the next couple of decades we will see the numbers of older woman-younger man relationships increase exponentially, because the taboo is now gone and because society is finally ready to accept women's sexuality (this has far reaching effects, including how society used to shut women up about being sexual at all, and most definitely "older" women were expected to not be sexual beings in any way).
> 
> Go cougars!


----------



## Faithful Wife

notmyrealname4 said:


> Thanks for allowing me to speak for myself.
> 
> I don't care if anything I said describes you or your friends. I spoke for myself from my own life experiences. I had no intention to speak for you. If it came across that way, I apologize; but I don't apologize for having a different opinion or life experience than you.
> 
> Yeah, maybe your thread title should have been "Older Women, Younger Men". But interestingly enough, you labeled it, "Calling all Cougars".


Touche, I didn't really word the title in a way that was clear.

Also my bad that I didn't realize you were speaking of your own experience and your own feelings about it from your perspective. I get it now.


----------



## Marcieme

I've always dated much younger than myself. I find that I'm on the same level sexually and a lot of times intellectually as much younger men. And they've always been more attracted to me than older men. Now I'm 46 and my new husband is 26. We're both happy in our marriage.


----------



## BluesPower

Faithful Wife said:


> What kind of gig? Sounds like she just wants to mark you as "taken".


I am a musician as well as my day job. I don't go on the road or play serious big time gigs any more. 

I do it for fun, now. My 2 boys are nationally recognized musicians as well, guess it runs in the family.


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## Marcieme

Faithful Wife, I find it very offensive saying older women are in heat. And yes you meant to shame us. In heat should only be used regarding animals. Shame on you.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Marcieme said:


> Faithful Wife, I find it very offensive saying older women are in heat. And yes you meant to shame us. In heat should only be used regarding animals. Shame on you.


It wasn’t me who said that, I was quoting someone else. But it was someone who was saying she was speaking for herself.

Welcome to the conversation! Thanks for sharing about your marriage. How did you meet?


----------



## Faithful Wife

BluesPower said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> What kind of gig? Sounds like she just wants to mark you as "taken". <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Stick Out Tongue" ></a>
> 
> 
> 
> I am a musician as well as my day job. I don't go on the road or play serious big time gigs any more.
> 
> I do it for fun, now. My 2 boys are nationally recognized musicians as well, guess it runs in the family.
Click to expand...

So she knows there will women being wooed by your musical talent and wants you to remember what you have at home. <3


----------



## notmyrealname4

Marcieme said:


> Faithful Wife, I find it very offensive saying older women are in heat. And yes you meant to shame us. In heat should only be used regarding animals. Shame on you.


I said "in heat". I'm a woman and I have been through such an experience in my life, that's how it felt. Literally at times.

And, on a strictly physical sense, we are animals. Nothing wrong with that, it's a fact. I believe in our spirit and intelligence; but I don't downplay the physical either.


----------



## BluesPower

Marcieme said:


> Faithful Wife, I find it very offensive saying older women are in heat. And yes you meant to shame us. In heat should only be used regarding animals. Shame on you.


Well, it may be offensive so sorry, but yeah, many, many are hot to trot. It is just kind of a fact. 

And again sorry to offend, but I have a bit of experience in this area. 

Now I am generally talking about over 45 to what ever is a reasonable limit. 

Many of these woman, are post menopausal, which is one reason that when I hear husbands and even some women complaining about menopause being the issue I call BS on much, not all of that. 

The reasons that I see for heat, if you will are varied. Some are coming out of sexless, almost sexless marriages, or bad sex marriages. 

They are more free at that age, for the most part they don't really care about what "some people" say. 

They are not going to have children and for the most part they are not raising them like they have to with small children. Some are financially more secure. 

Some of them just want to have some decent sex before they get too old, and who is to say what too old is...

I have been with a variety of women like this, and frankly it is a beautiful thing to see. For me as a guy, I like nothing better than to see a mature woman come into her own sexually. I have been a part of this for many woman, and to watch them blossom, become sexually confident, and have multiple orgasms for goodness sake... all I can say is it beautiful to behold.

So yes, a fairly large portion of women in this category are "hot to trot". 

If it bothers some people, well sorry, I guess they should have had better lovers when they were married? I guess? 

I don't understand all the reasons for this, just the ones that I understand first hand, but I can assure you that it is a fact...


----------



## Faithful Wife

It's not offensive to me to say that women are hot and horny. It's just a little off to say that this or that group of women are so slavering horny that they then go and bang everyone and call this being "in heat".

We have here stories of the opposite- - usually men married to women who at menopause are just done with sex and they never change their mind about this.

Having been horny my whole life, and knowing others who are of varying levels of horny on and off their whole lives, it just seems weird to point out one age group or gender as "in heat". 

A man in an earlier post pointed out that there is nothing more energetic than a young woman with her desire. And of course we all know how horny young men are.

I think it's awesome that the horniest people find each other, age and gender irrelevant. It would be great if the less horny people kind of stuck together too. 

Pin pointing one group of horny people and using a derogatory term for it like "in heat" seems off to me. Like an insult. (Notwithstanding speaking for yourself....if I felt like those words described how I felt I would use them, I just wouldn't use them to describe someone else).


----------



## BluesPower

Faithful Wife said:


> It's not offensive to me to say that women are hot and horny. It's just a little off to say that this or that group of women are so slavering horny that they then go and bang everyone and call this being "in heat".
> 
> We have here stories of the opposite- - usually men married* to women who at menopause are just done with sex and they never change their mind about this*.
> 
> A man in an earlier post pointed out that there is *nothing more energetic than a young woman with her desire*. And of course we all know how horny young men are.
> .
> .
> .
> would use them, I just wouldn't use them to describe someone else).


A reasonable response about language choices. 

Two details, first bold, I understand that this CAN happen. However, in almost every case, I think you can point to resentment in the relationship, poor sex from the husband, and people that lean way more toward asexual than sexual their entire life. 

I have just seen too many woman that were post menopausal, that were really extraordinary, and I mean really really extraordinary in bed. 

The second bold, yes I understand that a young women can be really energetic in bed, but if they don't really understand how to direct that energy, it just does not do much for me. 

Give me an experienced older woman, or at least one willing to learn, any time. 

That is just me though, I may be weird for all I know...


----------



## Faithful Wife

BluesPower said:


> A reasonable response about language choices.
> 
> Two details, first bold, I understand that this CAN happen. However, in almost every case, I think you can point to resentment in the relationship, poor sex from the husband, and people that lean way more toward asexual than sexual their entire life.
> 
> I have just seen too many woman that were post menopausal, that were really extraordinary, and I mean really really extraordinary in bed.
> 
> The second bold, yes I understand that a young women can be really energetic in bed, but if they don't really understand how to direct that energy, it just does not do much for me.
> 
> Give me an experienced older woman, or at least one willing to learn, any time.
> 
> That is just me though, I may be weird for all I know...


I'm definitely not arguing that older women are better in bed (lol)...I just think the bell curve of which women end up hot to trot in the way you describe is a smaller percentage than you think it is. But maybe we are still not talking about the same demographic.

For instance, women I know personally who are my age are more likely looking for a great partner and lover, not going out and getting jiggy with multiple people. Having great sex is easier with a trusted partner than on a ONS for many of us.

Whereas, some of my younger female friends are truly out there doing a lot of guys, no shame. (None necessary). 

Then there are the women I know who loved sex up to that point and then lost all interest, whether they were with a partner or not (as in, sometimes this just happens and it isn't about resentment).

I haven't known as many truly horny older woman types. I do hear about them from men like you so I know they exist. I just think there are less of them as a percentage of that age group than you may think there are. It makes sense you would have experienced several of them but I don't think that's enough to go on to make assumptions about a majority of them being that way. You can expect the ones that come in to your experience to be that way, however. That part makes perfect sense. Highly sexual people tend to find each other.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt

Faithful Wife said:


> It is typically the same guys who don't see themselves as "low hanging fruit" to these supposed droves of younger women who want to be with them, even though they clearly are. They sure don't want to hear it that maybe, just maybe, this younger woman sees him as a wallet or daddy figure...even while out of the other side of their mouth they will claim that a guy who enjoys an older woman must have some mommy issues.


LOL.

I've said for YEARS most older men don't own mirrors. 

In _their_ minds, they're still young and have all their hair and teeth, their faces aren't lined and their paunches don't exist. They're still the hot commodity they were back when they were 25 and honestly believe the young ladies will be drawn to them. They put on their best 'dress' clothes and go out to the bar and try to hit on the younger ladies and it's actually sad to watch. And I've seen it more times than I can count when I was younger and used to go out with my girlfriends on a regular basis. Many a time I've had drinks brought to me by the barmaid telling me it was from the gentleman across the bar and it would be from a gentleman twice my age (or close to it). I'd tell the barmaid to please thank the gentleman for me for the kind thought, but no thank you.

One night, I was out on a date and we were taking a break from the noise and went outside. We ended up watching these two older guys desperately trying to hit on the different groups of young ladies who were outside taking a smoke break. They would try to strike up a conversation with one of them and when it went nowhere, they were off to the next group of girls hoping to get their attention. A few hours later when we were leaving, these two were STILL by themselves sitting at the bar, looking pretty bored and dejected.

So for every 'successful' mouth-breather on Reddit who claims the young women will flock to middle-aged men, there are tons of men out there who aren't quite living _that_ dream.


----------



## Diana7

Faithful Wife said:


> In my thread title, I was just being cheeky using the word Cougar. What I am really discussing is the phenomenon I've seen at TAM and PUA crap sites about how men magically become "more attractive" as they age and women are only attractive until they are 28 years old and go downhill from there. Granted, TAM men are more in the camp of the younger, hotter woman that is apparently due to every betrayed husband, and the PUA crap is more about how all men magically get better with age.


I agree with you on that. I think that most of them are deluded. :wink2:


----------



## Blondilocks

Faithful Wife said:


> Ha ha, Ragnar! I had forgotten about this thread. Wow...weird given that I just started dating a much younger guy, even though I resisted doing that and it wasn't a thing for me. It still isn't a thing, it is just that we dig each other. He would be offended if anyone called me a cougar or implied that's why he liked me.
> 
> However if I was going to be a cougar, I would totally go for the young actor who played Ragnar on Vikings...yumm!


Does this mean that you and the ex won't be buying a duplex anytime soon? :crying:


----------



## Taxman

I wonder many times if my wife is unique among women, as I have not stepped out of our marriage for 30 years, so anything happening outside my bedroom is fairly foreign to me. As we have aged her libido has skyrocketed, to almost my level. My reaction to this late life honeymoon is wonderment, and GRATITUDE. I see so many acquaintances which appear not to be having such a great time, and then you got us. We still "adventure". Get in the car (bought a little Audi convertible-she looks so cute in it), and just go. If someone had told me in my 30's that this was going to happen, I'd have called them liar. I recall a scene in "Animal House where a Playboy "bunny" flies through a young man's window, and the first words out of his mouth are, "Thank you, God!"


----------



## Faithful Wife

Blondilocks said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Ha ha, Ragnar! I had forgotten about this thread. Wow...weird given that I just started dating a much younger guy, even though I resisted doing that and it wasn't a thing for me. It still isn't a thing, it is just that we dig each other. He would be offended if anyone called me a cougar or implied that's why he liked me.
> 
> However if I was going to be a cougar, I would totally go for the young actor who played Ragnar on Vikings...yumm! <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Stick Out Tongue" ></a>
> 
> 
> 
> Does this mean that you and the ex won't be buying a duplex anytime soon? <a href="http://cdn.talkaboutmarriage.net/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_crying.png" border="0" alt="" title="Crying" ></a>
Click to expand...

Well...it is still quite possible that ex and I will work that out, but it’s out in the future a bit no matter what. I think we both have that as an unspoken goal but there are a lot of things that would have to happen first.

In the meantime, my young escort is fun and sweet. There is a built in end date with this one because it can’t really go anywhere. We really enjoy each other and want to get all we can out of it but in the big picture, it is a dead end. So much fun in the meantime though.


----------



## Ikaika

Not all older men are overweight and lack energy, but yes I will grant you that statistics don’t fair well among this demographics. 

Some of us older guys actually take care of our ourselves:

Age 57 (stats taken at a lab recently)

BMI: 24.8
Body fat% 11.5
Muscle: 61.5%
Water: 63.5%
Visceral fat: 1%

It takes work and discipline, but yes it is worth it from an energy and mental point of view of myself and toward my wife 

So, to the younger guys chasing cougars, you too will get older. It is not your status now, it is how you can maintain it. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


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## Faithful Wife

Ikaika said:


> So, to the younger guys chasing cougars, you too will get older. It is not your status now, it is how you can maintain it.


So true! 

Me to younger people: Keep yourself active and fit!! Trust me, you'll thank me when you're my age.


----------



## DustyDog

Faithful Wife said:


> Ok, the assumption that women generally find older men more attractive....I challenge this.
> 
> I think people of all ages generally find young people attractive. Let's face it, youth is beautiful!




That is a uniquely Western perspective. In most of the rest of the world, age and wisdom are sexy as hell. I LOVE the way my gray hair is admired in Asia.


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## Faithful Wife

DustyDog said:


> That is a uniquely Western perspective. In most of the rest of the world, age and wisdom are sexy as hell. I LOVE the way my gray hair is admired in Asia.


I love gray hair as well. Really attracts me. But it attracts me on guys from 40 - 60, many are fully gray at 40 and I love it!

My point was - using your example - even though you are maybe sought after in Asia, a younger, taller, fitter man would _also be_ admired by women in Asia...just because any group of people are sought after or attractive to any other given group, the fact will remain that young people are still typically judged as beautiful in as many or higher numbers, always.

Really all this boils down to is that there is a type for every attraction, and an attraction for every type.

Which is why I don't think the notion that "younger women are attracted to older men" means anything specific, because younger men are attracted to older women, and younger people are attracted to each other, and older people are attracted to each other. I hope that makes sense.

I'm not taking away the attractiveness of anyone...just challenging the old idea that attraction with an age difference only works one way - which was assumed to be older man, younger woman.


----------



## Ikaika

Faithful Wife said:


> I love gray hair as well. Really attracts me. But it attracts me on guys from 40 - 60, many are fully gray at 40 and I love it!
> 
> 
> 
> My point was - using your example - even though you are maybe sought after in Asia, a younger, taller, fitter man would _also be_ admired by women in Asia...just because any group of people are sought after or attractive to any other given group, the fact will remain that young people are still typically judged as beautiful in as many or higher numbers, always.
> 
> 
> 
> Really all this boils down to is that there is a type for every attraction, and an attraction for every type.
> 
> 
> 
> Which is why I don't think the notion that "younger women are attracted to older men" means anything specific, because younger men are attracted to older women, and younger people are attracted to each other, and older people are attracted to each other. I hope that makes sense.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not taking away the attractiveness of anyone...just challenging the old idea that attraction with an age difference only works one way - which was assumed to be older man, younger woman.




Yes, it is true, as much as I would like to think I am a better version of myself now than I was 10 years ago (more fit and more wisdom?), realistically I am older and just fortunate that my wife still assumes me to be her man. 

If I ever found myself single again, I think at this stage, I am fine with being alone, I’m not delusional. I have my sons to be concerned with in terms of making sure they develop into men. 

Even if there was someone interested in me, I would prefer she be closer to my age. There are more things to share than sex and I prefer someone who has shared some similar life experiences (based on age). 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


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## Taxman

A professor of mine wrote a book of his early adventures away from his home country, it was titled, "In Praise of Older Women". It was interesting to see his impressions on the subject, as my girlfriend at the time was ten years older than myself. To be succinct, I would recommend to any young man a relationship with an older woman. I learned much about life, as well as lovemaking. Years later I have run into her occasionally, but time and distance. She had a child at about the same time as we had our daughter. They were in the same pre-school.

PS, midway through the relationship, my mother found out. She was not amused. The old man, on the other hand?


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Faithful Wife said:


> To the second point, I had used the word cougar in my title in a cheeky way but was actually just discussing genuine attraction that some men have for older women.


When I was younger, that was certainly the general consensus and what society and popular culture would have us believe. 

I thought that was sad, and really not a world I wanted to live in.

Having lived long enough to see both ends of that time continuum, I’m thrilled to report that that view is total crap. Hopefully, the rise of the Cougar is indicative of society as a whole seeing the light.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Ikaika said:


> Even if there was someone interested in me, I would prefer she be closer to my age. There are more things to share than sex and I prefer someone who has shared some similar life experiences (based on age).


I still prefer this, too.


----------



## Ikaika

Faithful Wife said:


> I still prefer this, too.




My ultimate test would be to see if they remember any particular episode from Gilligan’s Island. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## Diana7

Faithful Wife said:


> I still prefer this, too.


Yes and me. Although my husband and I grew up on the opposite side of the world, we often remember the same TV programmes that we watched etc. I have no interest in a much younger or much older man.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Diana7 said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> I still prefer this, too.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes and me. Although my husband and I grew up on the opposite side of the world, we often remember the same TV programmes that we watched etc. I have no interest in a much younger or much older man.
Click to expand...

Currently, I have interest in one much younger man, but this is rare. He is interesting to me partially because he’s from another country and culture. If he wasn’t I may not have had any interest in him.

Normally it is just more fun for me to have a common history...like you said TV, movies, music.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

The cougar thing is easy to explain. The older man with younger woman is short sighted and dumb to me. 

Spoke from a man's perspective, The cougar has her kids already, doesn't want any more. The cougar usually has a job, and can pay for her own stuff. They have their own life, and really don't need a man, they just want a man. So then young bucks see a "sex starved" lady in her sexual prime who doesn't need you to buy her gifts or dinner or take care of xyz to impress her. You can get by on looks and charm alone (in his eyes) and dont need to invest really much of anything else. I can keep my bachelor lifestyle and bang a hot older lady a couple times a week. The rest of the time I can study, play video games, hang out with my buddies, and just chill and cougar won't care. Cougar is busy working full tims, taking the kids to school, fixing dinner for them, making sure homework is done, cleaning the house, doing the yard work... You get the picture. Cougar only needs the young buck around when she's trying to relax and is a little horny. This is care free easy nookie for the young buck with no strings. Try to take the relationship further, make it more serious, and almost always the young buck will head for greener pastures elsewhere. 

The old guy, young woman again, is just short sighted by the woman, and the man really. He offers security. That biological clock is ticking and she wants kids. Old man has the nice job, house, cars, and all the caring one needs to start a family with. But when the woman turns 45, afree a few kids and they are finally more independent, 45 year old wife is in her sexual prime. She's ready to vacation more, go on hikes, she's ready to jump his bones being in her sexual prime... Only to realise 60 year old hubby has a bad knee, has ED, he cant play ball with the kids, he has a hard time remembering things...

I personally wouldn't go beyond a 10 year difference in the middle stages of life. 15 year difference can work if its like a 20yr old with a 35yr old. That's just me though.


----------



## PigglyWiggly

TheDudeLebowski said:


> The cougar thing is easy to explain. The older man with younger woman is short sighted and dumb to me.
> 
> Spoke from a man's perspective, The cougar has her kids already, doesn't want any more. The cougar usually has a job, and can pay for her own stuff. They have their own life, and really don't need a man, they just want a man. So then young bucks see a "sex starved" lady in her sexual prime who doesn't need you to buy her gifts or dinner or take care of xyz to impress her. You can get by on looks and charm alone (in his eyes) and dont need to invest really much of anything else. I can keep my bachelor lifestyle and bang a hot older lady a couple times a week. The rest of the time I can study, play video games, hang out with my buddies, and just chill and cougar won't care. Cougar is busy working full tims, taking the kids to school, fixing dinner for them, making sure homework is done, cleaning the house, doing the yard work... You get the picture. Cougar only needs the young buck around when she's trying to relax and is a little horny. This is care free easy nookie for the young buck with no strings. Try to take the relationship further, make it more serious, and almost always the young buck will head for greener pastures elsewhere.
> 
> The old guy, young woman again, is just short sighted by the woman, and the man really. He offers security. That biological clock is ticking and she wants kids. Old man has the nice job, house, cars, and all the caring one needs to start a family with. But when the woman turns 45, afree a few kids and they are finally more independent, 45 year old wife is in her sexual prime. She's ready to vacation more, go on hikes, she's ready to jump his bones being in her sexual prime... Only to realise 60 year old hubby has a bad knee, has ED, he cant play ball with the kids, he has a hard time remembering things...
> 
> I personally wouldn't go beyond a 10 year difference in the middle stages of life. 15 year difference can work if its like a 20yr old with a 35yr old. That's just me though.


In your example the cougar is having casual sex but you assume the younger woman is not having casual sex with the older man and must be looking for a relationship only...Tinder much?


----------



## TheBohannons

Up to the age of 30, I had 3 sexual partners. After 3 years of celibacy (waiting for the nuclear family to develope) i said the hell with it and discovered OLD. In the next 2 years the number exploded. Younger women wanted relationships and I wasn't interested. Cougars were more than willing. It got old after awhile.

Later in life I discovered that confidant middle age women don't have to hit the gym every day and try to compete with 20 year olds. They are comfortable in their sexuality and how they look. They also realize that men want them just the way they are. They generally don't date too far outside their range, but you had better be in shape and bring your A and O(ral) game. And if it takes a pill to get there, better see your doctor.

I can't hate on anyone, but I will take a woman my age, comfortable with who she is and DThF (have fun) any day.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

PigglyWiggly said:


> TheDudeLebowski said:
> 
> 
> 
> The cougar thing is easy to explain. The older man with younger woman is short sighted and dumb to me.
> 
> Spoke from a man's perspective, The cougar has her kids already, doesn't want any more. The cougar usually has a job, and can pay for her own stuff. They have their own life, and really don't need a man, they just want a man. So then young bucks see a "sex starved" lady in her sexual prime who doesn't need you to buy her gifts or dinner or take care of xyz to impress her. You can get by on looks and charm alone (in his eyes) and dont need to invest really much of anything else. I can keep my bachelor lifestyle and bang a hot older lady a couple times a week. The rest of the time I can study, play video games, hang out with my buddies, and just chill and cougar won't care. Cougar is busy working full tims, taking the kids to school, fixing dinner for them, making sure homework is done, cleaning the house, doing the yard work... You get the picture. Cougar only needs the young buck around when she's trying to relax and is a little horny. This is care free easy nookie for the young buck with no strings. Try to take the relationship further, make it more serious, and almost always the young buck will head for greener pastures elsewhere.
> 
> The old guy, young woman again, is just short sighted by the woman, and the man really. He offers security. That biological clock is ticking and she wants kids. Old man has the nice job, house, cars, and all the caring one needs to start a family with. But when the woman turns 45, afree a few kids and they are finally more independent, 45 year old wife is in her sexual prime. She's ready to vacation more, go on hikes, she's ready to jump his bones being in her sexual prime... Only to realise 60 year old hubby has a bad knee, has ED, he cant play ball with the kids, he has a hard time remembering things...
> 
> I personally wouldn't go beyond a 10 year difference in the middle stages of life. 15 year difference can work if its like a 20yr old with a 35yr old. That's just me though.
> 
> 
> 
> In your example the cougar is having casual sex but you assume the younger woman is not having casual sex with the older man and must be looking for a relationship only...Tinder much?
Click to expand...

No, I was talking about a 30 year old getting with a 50 year old man to settle down with and start a family. Its not a smart move by my estimation. Sure, the young girl could just want to bang some old rich guy for some free stuff bought for her. That is always a possibility. Much more likely than a 20 year old woman going afte the 50 year old man because he's so hot. That's like one of those things you do once because you're curious, then you don't talk anymore. Pursuing a relationship with a huge age difference isn't wise. Again, that is just me.


----------



## PigglyWiggly

A cougar with a young dude is probably not going to work long term. 20 yo gal with a 50 yo dude...same result most likely. Both the young guy and gal can have casual sex with their older, more experienced and more confident counterparts. To me they are exactly the same. Both the cougar and the older man want the same thing from those youngsters....eager, attractive, energetic nice bodies to have sex with


----------



## chillymorn69

Young men will bang anything!

Just sayin....

Young women will bangvanything that will give her finiancial security...

Seems easy enough to figure out.


----------



## PigglyWiggly

chillymorn69 said:


> Young men will bang anything!
> 
> Just sayin....
> 
> Young women will bangvanything that will give her finiancial security...
> 
> Seems easy enough to figure out.


I can vouch for the 1st statement


----------



## TheBohannons

Quality beats quantity every time.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

chillymorn69 said:


> Young men will bang anything!
> 
> Just sayin....
> 
> Young women will bangvanything that will give her finiancial security...
> 
> Seems easy enough to figure out.


Young women will fool around with more than those that will give her financial security.


----------



## BluesPower

TheBohannons said:


> Up to the age of 30, I had 3 sexual partners. After 3 years of celibacy (waiting for the nuclear family to develope) i said the hell with it and discovered OLD. In the next 2 years the number exploded. Younger women wanted relationships and I wasn't interested. Cougars were more than willing. It got old after awhile.
> 
> Later in life I discovered that confidant middle age women don't have to hit the gym every day and try to compete with 20 year olds. They are comfortable in their sexuality and how they look. They also realize that men want them just the way they are. They generally don't date too far outside their range, but you had better be in shape and bring your A and O(ral) game. And if it takes a pill to get there, better see your doctor.
> 
> I can't hate on anyone, but I will take a woman my age, comfortable with who she is and DThF (have fun) any day.


This is what I am saying...

To add to this and some of the other posts, we were put with friends last night. It is fun and sad that everyone is actually jealous of our relationship, our affection, the love in our eyes. 

And of course several of the girls complain that their H or BF is just not getting the job done, which I find so sad. 

But when GF was asked, this is all girl talk when the guys are playing, she just says that she never new it could be this way, sexually. She hates to tell the truth because she knows that bums the girls out. But they did ask. None of this is to say that I am some type of super stud. I am not. I am just a high drive guy that is better than average in bed. I mean if a man my age does not know what to do the bedroom, then they never will, I think. 

The point is here that single and married 45 -60 YO women that are attractive WANT TO HAVE sex, but it seems that a certain percentage of the male population is letting them down. 

One of the couples in our group that night JUST GOT MARRIED, and she is the one that confided to my GF that they hardly ever had sex, and the just got married, and it is because of him. 

I understand that some people, male and female, let or have their sex drive just die or something. 

I don't understand it, I don't know if I ever will...


----------



## Faithful Wife

TheBohannons said:


> Women who have been faithful during their marriage will almost always decide on having a little fun shortly thereafter. Nothing wrong with that. It is true that a woman can get 8 out of 10 guys in a bar, while a Good man may only get 1 or 2. The question is, how many do you need?
> 
> When you look at faithful history, it appears she still has feelings for her xH and maybe after a few years of fun, the stars may align. The problem is, while many women find a ample supply of willing, good men find love a lot quicker.
> 
> Don't be surprised if one day you wake up, look over and realise that you do not know the last name of your "guy" decide to knock on the door of your backup good guy xH, and a "faithful wife" answers the door.
> 
> Quality beats quantity every time. Have fun, but dont wake up at 55, still chasing orgasms.


It's obvious you don't know my whole story, but why do you have to make nasty assumptions about me with that lack of information?

Firstly, the assumption that I'm "chasing orgasms". Really? I'm divorced and dating. Why is that then translated to "chasing orgasms"? Just have to make it sound derogatory to make it more fun trying to put me down? And why is it that I'm being put down exactly? Oh that's right you've assumed that I'm chasing too many orgasms with too many guys, as you apparently have a rule book with how many orgasms with how many men is allowed before a woman is judged for it. Also you somehow know I'm over my limit on these things.

Second, you are assuming I've got my ex h on some kind of string while I play around....I don't get what you think is going on here but again you've made assumptions. 

That's fine. I supposed I deserve to have the worst assumed of me because....I'm a woman? 

Here's the reality: my mother is aging out, she lives with me, and will do so until her death, which could be soon-ish or it could be 8 - 10 years from now. I get to deal with all of this by myself. My ex h has no interest in going through this with me. So until this phase of life is over for me, I can't be fully committed to anyone and I have this really huge thing hanging over my head.

If my ex h ends up with someone else I will assume it would be a really awesome chick and be happy for them both.

But making me out as some skanky mean girl character just because of the assumptions you've made about me is more fun for you, I suppose.


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## BluesPower

Faithful Wife said:


> Firstly, the assumption that I'm "chasing orgasms". Really? I'm divorced and dating. Why is that then translated to "chasing orgasms"? Just have to make it sound derogatory to make it more fun trying to put me down? And why is it that I'm being put down exactly? Oh that's right you've assumed that I'm chasing too many orgasms with too many guys, as you apparently have a rule book with how many orgasms with how many men is allowed before a woman is judged for it. Also you somehow know I'm over my limit on these things.


Not even getting into the post that you are answering, which was a ridiculous post, but I have another Rule that I life by: 

That rule is: Women get to have as many orgasms as they want anytime they want them. 

In fact, my GF "complained" that I made her have too many orgasms!!! 

My response was, "you will take all the orgasms that you get and you will like it"...


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## MJJEAN

Faithful Wife said:


> I just wanted to post a little about the attractiveness of "older" women.
> 
> It used to be taboo for a younger man to be with an older woman. It was not taboo for an older man to be with a younger woman and in fact, it was touted all over the place that men would always want a younger woman and that older women were no longer desirable.


Older woman vs younger woman I think is something that really depends on life stage and life goals.

My DH dated two cougars before we met. He had to cut ties with both when the cougars expressed a desire for a "real relationship". Why? Because he was a young man that wanted to marry and have children. For him, it was primarily about fertility. He could enjoy the company of his older companions, he could enjoy the sex, but he couldn't see a future in it because neither woman would be able to provide him with offspring. Had he been in a different life stage or had he not wanted to have children, ever, things may have been very different.


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## Blondilocks

Faithful Wife said:


> It's obvious you don't know my whole story, but why do you have to make nasty assumptions about me with that lack of information?
> 
> Firstly, the assumption that I'm "chasing orgasms". Really? I'm divorced and dating. Why is that then translated to "chasing orgasms"? Just have to make it sound derogatory to make it more fun trying to put me down? And why is it that I'm being put down exactly? Oh that's right you've assumed that I'm chasing too many orgasms with too many guys, as you apparently have a rule book with how many orgasms with how many men is allowed before a woman is judged for it. Also you somehow know I'm over my limit on these things.
> 
> Second, you are assuming I've got my ex h on some kind of string while I play around....I don't get what you think is going on here but again you've made assumptions.
> 
> That's fine. I supposed I deserve to have the worst assumed of me because....I'm a woman?
> 
> Here's the reality: my mother is aging out, she lives with me, and will do so until her death, which could be soon-ish or it could be 8 - 10 years from now. I get to deal with all of this by myself. My ex h has no interest in going through this with me. So until this phase of life is over for me, I can't be fully committed to anyone and I have this really huge thing hanging over my head.
> 
> If my ex h ends up with someone else I will assume it would be a really awesome chick and be happy for them both.
> 
> But making me out as some skanky mean girl character just because of the assumptions you've made about me is more fun for you, I suppose.


FW, that's the problem when two people post under the same username - one doesn't know if you're addressing the male or female point of view. It would be helpful if the 'bohannons' would make it known when they post.


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## Faithful Wife

Blondilocks said:


> FW, that's the problem when two people post under the same username - one doesn't know if you're addressing the male or female point of view. It would be helpful if the 'bohannons' would make it known when they post.


I didn't realize there are two bohannons...but whoever posted to me was clearly taking a dig at me, which was weird. But TAM is kinda like that, even the newbies gotta be mean to strangers sometimes. Must be fun for some people for reasons I don't understand.


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## VladDracul

My only trouble with cougars is when you get my age, its hard to find one that not in a nursing home or an assisted living facility. A 50-60 year old is a young chick to me. At any rate, a song for the occasion.


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## bandit.45

The cougar lifestyle is alive and well in Scottsdale, AZ. I've seen it firsthand. And you don't even have to be a divorced woman there. You can have your rich husband to pay the bills and have your rentboy on the side, and no one really cares.


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## Faithful Wife

bandit.45 said:


> The cougar lifestyle is alive and well in Scottsdale, AZ. I've seen it firsthand. And you don't even have to be a divorced woman there. You can have your rich husband to pay the bills and have your rentboy on the side, and no one really cares.


They also descend upon resort areas and cruises, and hire male prostitutes to service them (if they can't get the pool boy to do it).

It's no different than when old men go wild and crazy with strippers, hookers, and whoever else they can get with.

But I've applied the word cougar to simply mean a woman who is older than her date, and not just specifically talking about the type of cougar that literally chases cub meat. However it's clear the word mostly invokes the latter definition.

In my case, I just finally gave in and have now dated a few younger men because they were so persistent and had the good quality am looking for. It has never been my thing.

I have a couple of girlfriends who only exclusively date younger men. I don't really understand why. My friends are in their 30's and dating men in their 20's. It's bizarre to me, but they have their reasons I guess. They are cougars for sure.


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## Graywolf2

As a young man I preferred older woman. They knew what they were doing and could teach you a few things. I also liked the fact that I didn’t feel guilty about taking advantage of a sweet young thing. You have to remember that this was years ago when there still were sweet young things. 

Now I’ve had to pretty much give up on older women because most of them are dead.


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## TheBohannons

Faithful Wife said:


> I didn't realize there are two bohannons...but whoever posted to me was clearly taking a dig at me, which was weird. But TAM is kinda like that, even the newbies gotta be mean to strangers sometimes. Must be fun for some people for reasons I don't understand.


Hey I wasn't taking a dig at you. Sorry you took it that way. Your post in the past and present led us to post. Perhaps the "chasing orgasms" simplified the "have fun" part.

BTW the female post very rarely for this exact reason. People here are very quick to slam someone for a difference of opinion. We try post on Non-infidelity threads, since they are rather unpleasant.

With that said, we are who we are and will post how we please. For your benefit, Faithful, we will remove the post and wish you a good day.


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## bandit.45

I don't have a problem with older women dating or marrying younger men. My girlfriend is 10 years younger than me (40) and we get along great. But had we met twenty years ago it would have been a different story. I would have been seen as a cradle robber. 

What I see a lot of these older women do is date young men during their mid-40s and through their 50s, when they are experiencing their sexual peak, because men of similar age are generally not as virile. Then once these gals get into their 60s or so they seek out men of their same age group to settle down with in their retirement.


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## Faithful Wife

bandit.45 said:


> What I see a lot of these older women do is date young men during their mid-40s and through their 50s, when they are experiencing their sexual peak, *because men of similar age are generally not as virile*. Then once these gals get into their 60s or so they seek out men of their same age group to settle down with in their retirement.


Which is kind of why it is weird to me that there is the idea by some men that younger women seek out older men. I can understand some younger women want him if he's wealthy, etc....but don't guys want to be sexually desired by a woman, too? :scratchhead:

(rhetorical question, no need to answer, yes of course they do)


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## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> It's obvious you don't know my whole story, but why do you have to make nasty assumptions about me with that lack of information?
> 
> Firstly, the assumption that I'm "chasing orgasms". Really? I'm divorced and dating. Why is that then translated to "chasing orgasms"? Just have to make it sound derogatory to make it more fun trying to put me down? And why is it that I'm being put down exactly? Oh that's right you've assumed that I'm chasing too many orgasms with too many guys, as you apparently have a rule book with how many orgasms with how many men is allowed before a woman is judged for it. Also you somehow know I'm over my limit on these things.
> 
> Second, you are assuming I've got my ex h on some kind of string while I play around....I don't get what you think is going on here but again you've made assumptions.
> 
> That's fine. I supposed I deserve to have the worst assumed of me because....I'm a woman?
> 
> Here's the reality: my mother is aging out, she lives with me, and will do so until her death, which could be soon-ish or it could be 8 - 10 years from now. I get to deal with all of this by myself. My ex h has no interest in going through this with me. So until this phase of life is over for me, I can't be fully committed to anyone and I have this really huge thing hanging over my head.
> 
> If my ex h ends up with someone else I will assume it would be a really awesome chick and be happy for them both.
> 
> But making me out as some skanky mean girl character just because of the assumptions you've made about me is more fun for you, I suppose.


You are a class act.

My mother took care of both my grandparents when it was time. I am so sorry you are going through this alone.

Her husband gave up most of a 4 year stretch of their marriage and was supportive during that time.

I now refer to him as my stepfather and call him pops.

Anyone who knows my back story knows what a mountain the men in my mother's life have been for me to climb but this man is amazing!

You are pure gold FW.

Love and blessings.


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## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> Which is kind of why it is weird to me that there is the idea by some men that younger women seek out older men. I can understand some younger women want him if he's wealthy, etc....but don't guys want to be sexually desired by a woman, too? :scratchhead:
> 
> (rhetorical question, no need to answer, yes of course they do)


I don't think there is actually any hard or fast rule about it. Some people of either gender are attracted to older people.

Of course some people are just attractive regardless of age and people are of course attracted to them.

A good looking older woman with money and chemistry with me who wants me???


Hell yeah!!!:smthumbup:


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## bandit.45

Faithful Wife said:


> Which is kind of why it is weird to me that there is the idea by some men that younger women seek out older men. I can understand some younger women want him if he's wealthy, etc....but *don't guys want to be sexually desired by a woman, too*? :scratchhead:
> 
> (rhetorical question, no need to answer, yes of course they do)


Sure. But our plumbing just doesn't work as well once we hit 50. My girlfriend is fortunate that I have a long tongue and lots of spirit.


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## Faithful Wife

bandit.45 said:


> Sure. But our plumbing just doesn't work as well once we hit 50.


I know, that was my point. 

Older, younger, whatever....people are drawn to each other for reasons no one but them will ever understand. Someone for everyone and all.


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## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> A good looking older woman with money and chemistry with me who wants me???
> 
> 
> Hell yeah!!!:smthumbup:


Sounds like your marriage. :grin2:


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## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> Sounds like your marriage. :grin2:


Ya got me!:wink2:


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## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> My mother took care of both my grandparents when it was time. I am so sorry you are going through this alone.


It's alright, I have a good support group of friends, my brother and my adult kids. If I had to figure out how to also nurture and care for a committed relationship or marriage at this time, I would fail at that. And I would not invite anyone new into my life that deeply at this time, I would not want anyone new trying to help take care of my mother. It wouldn't feel appropriate to her or me. 

So it is what it is, and I'm just glad to still have this time left with her and thankful that her health is relatively stable right now.


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## FoxinSocks

I had to chuckle reading through this thread. I guess I fall firmly into the cougar category. When I was in my 20's I often dated men older.. much older sometimes. when I finally settled down and married however, I was early 30's and H was 5 years younger. We raised two kids, grew apart and divorced. Since then I've been back in the dating world. I find men M=my age (53) or older, not so much fun anymore. I have found the 30's to mid-40's men by FAR more exciting and pleasurable to be around. The biggest age gap younger I dated was 21 years my junior. We actually had a very deep and rewarding relationship for a couple years, and still are the best of friends today. We have talked about how most people really just don't get it, or it seems weird to them but we clicked on many levels. I love the carefree and fun-loving sex. I love the laughter and spiritual beliefs we share. I love how sometimes he makes me feel like a "girl", and other times we switch the dominant personality and I'm the mature woman. It all just works. I"m not looking for a marriage, and he's not looking for wife. He has two children and an ex. Surprisingly, his kids are not too much younger than mine. 

But there does come a time when I appreciate the older, my age, man too. I have been dating someone a couple years older than me. We do a lot together, and have many like interests.. and we both don't feel the need to be going full tilt all the time. It's quieter and more relaxed. The only bad part is that the sex is not nearly as vigorous and frequent. In fact, it's becoming a major drawback for me, because I want so much more intimacy. Conversations about it haven't really resolved anything. I don't know where it will go, but it's a major bummer for me. I express my needs, get some of them met for a while, and I try to be patient and understanding too. If he had the libido of my toy-boy, I'd have found my perfect mate. We shall see where it goes. My niece of all people, told me don't bother looking for Mr Right, and go with Mr Right-now... until he isn't.


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## highwood

I remember watching a couple of years ago a Dr phil show about cougars and this lady was about 76 and guys 20 years younger were hitting on her and I could see why....how she carried herself was very sexy. She had a nice figure and seemed very confident...

Not every 20 or 30 something year old woman looks great...i have seen many in that age range that look like crap


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## BluesPower

FoxinSocks said:


> I had to chuckle reading through this thread. I guess I fall firmly into the cougar category. When I was in my 20's I often dated men older.. much older sometimes. when I finally settled down and married however, I was early 30's and H was 5 years younger. We raised two kids, grew apart and divorced. Since then I've been back in the dating world. I find men M=my age (53) or older, not so much fun anymore. I have found the 30's to mid-40's men by FAR more exciting and pleasurable to be around. The biggest age gap younger I dated was 21 years my junior. We actually had a very deep and rewarding relationship for a couple years, and still are the best of friends today. We have talked about how most people really just don't get it, or it seems weird to them but we clicked on many levels. I love the carefree and fun-loving sex. I love the laughter and spiritual beliefs we share. I love how sometimes he makes me feel like a "girl", and other times we switch the dominant personality and I'm the mature woman. It all just works. I"m not looking for a marriage, and he's not looking for wife. He has two children and an ex. Surprisingly, his kids are not too much younger than mine.
> 
> But there does come a time when I appreciate the older, my age, man too. I have been dating someone a couple years older than me. We do a lot together, and have many like interests.. and we both don't feel the need to be going full tilt all the time. It's quieter and more relaxed. The only bad part is that the sex is not nearly as vigorous and frequent. In fact, it's becoming a major drawback for me, because I want so much more intimacy. Conversations about it haven't really resolved anything. I don't know where it will go, but it's a major bummer for me. I express my needs, get some of them met for a while, and I try to be patient and understanding too. If he had the libido of my toy-boy, I'd have found my perfect mate. We shall see where it goes. My niece of all people, told me don't bother looking for Mr Right, and go with Mr Right-now... until he isn't.


You know, it is out there. I am 54 and my GF is 60. Sounds old, but neither of us are. I am a high drive guy and he has not missed a beat after I showed her what it was all about. 

She is a little embarrassed of our age difference which I think is silly, almost 7 years. Unfortunately she had some really bad or nonexistent sex in her marriages and relationships. 

Which I really don't understand, I know I am not the only guy out there that knows how to have sex. 

What is most funny is when her married friends talks about their lack of sex or bad sex, then they look at her and she just says, "I have never had sex like this in my life". 

They envy her. What I don't understand is why are guys/people this way at 50 and above. I have never slowed down and don't plan to start...


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## highwood

BluesPower said:


> You know, it is out there. I am 54 and my GF is 60. Sounds old, but neither of us are. I am a high drive guy and he has not missed a beat after I showed her what it was all about.
> 
> She is a little embarrassed of our age difference which I think is silly, almost 7 years. Unfortunately she had some really bad or nonexistent sex in her marriages and relationships.
> 
> Which I really don't understand, I know I am not the only guy out there that knows how to have sex.
> 
> What is most funny is when her married friends talks about their lack of sex or bad sex, then they look at her and she just says, "I have never had sex like this in my life".
> 
> They envy her. What I don't understand is why are guys/people this way at 50 and above. I have never slowed down and don't plan to start...


Not just for sex...I think life in general. I know people going back to school in their 50s. I just turned 50 and have not even started my career yet, I still have 15 years minimum left to work. Even exercise related, I am kickboxing, hiking, etc., to me as you age you have to up your exercise even more.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

I have to say from 17 to 22 there were typically two groups I "dated". One was 30 to 40 which all started and continued for sex, and they were imaginative. Also they "shared" me which I had to take a second and think about. 😊 which took about a millisecond...but because I wasn't a talker, things were great with this varied group for a long time (then). And I hung out on their couches, got fed as a starving college student where you eat where you can. And we went out a lot. I helped several celebrate their divorces, handed off from one to another at Chili's a few times. I thought that was cool actually. 

The other group was my age of course, and that dating continued. 

But older women were great to be with.

Now I'm older.....married many years. All is good.


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