# Husband seems uninterested in me



## Gallop77 (Dec 6, 2017)

A little back ground first. My husband has posted on here sometime last year. It was in relation to our marriage and our lives before we met. He was upset by some thinges in my past and asked for opinions on moving forward. I found the post and most of it was an exaggeration or straight up dishonesty. He explained that it was hypothetical and that he wanted others opinion's on the matter. In the post he said he was going to leave me. So anyway moving forward he did not. He didn't even act any different while he was conversing with others on his post. 

He surprised me at work the day after with flowers and a very sweet note stating that he is mine forever. I didn't find the post until weeks later. The reason I bring this up is because since that post our relationship seems to be dwindling. He also was promoted to a more stressful job around the same time. Here's the details. We had both been through therapy alone not as a couple we both have personal issues that we worked through. I have trust issues and somewhat of a bad image of myself. I felt a lot of guilt over my past and my body image. Are sex life was kind of nonexistent since our work schedules kept us from seeing each other sometimes 2 or 3 days in a row. 

So we struggled he was unhappy. I went through therapy and things were going wonderful for both of us. Then I find some nude photos of him that he was sending another email account of his. From there I don't know where they went but I can guess. I confronted and he said he was paying Web am girls. It was all before I went to therapy and before we started getting better. Shame on him but I chose to keep our relationship and move forward. So fall comes and he posts on here what I was referring to in the beginning. He has a significant job change and promotion. 

Since then our sex life has dwindled down to maybe once a month, and only if I initiate. We were having sex as frequently as 4x per week and even twice in one night occasionaly. I have confronted him. He says I'm a priority, that he wants me to be happy. That it is just a scheduling conflict and that he is stressed from work. Well this is going on 8 months of the same excuses. There has also been some odd behavior. He has completely stopped weight lifting (serious body builder), he has started smoking ( I found an empty pack he did not tell me or do in front of me but when confronted he said he smoke's at work), 

I gave him a key chain that has charm on it that says "you and me" and "love you" which he says falls out of his pocket so he takes it off at work and puts it back on when he comes home ( now he just took it off completely), also he has been sporadically forgetting his wedding ring at home. I'm trying not to get to worked up. But I have expressed my loneliness and need for intimacy several times. Is he checking out of our marriage slowly? His pay stubs show he is actually at work when he says he is and he is home whenever I am. The only time I can't account for is when I'm working. Another thin I should add is that I'm almost positive he was using steroids from time to time in the past, and possibly as recent at this summer. 

I'm honestly debating leaving. If I check out of our relationship emotionally I will be done for good this time. We have been together 11 years and it was a very rocky start. Infidelity and lying on his part. I'm just not sure if I'm having rational thoughts. It is possible that he is having an affair online. It would not surprise me. What do you all think? Sorry this post is so long


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Well it would help to know about his post and his user name. 

Next how old are you and how long have you been married? 

So, yes for some reason he is checking out of the marriage, sorry to say. It is not over, and is you try you might be able to get it back on track. 

And, yes, he is doing something shady, some of the behaviors sound like he is having an affair or maybe just sleeping around. 

You are going to have to do some detective work to find out what is going on. You need to not confront him until you have conclusive proof about what is going on. 

The standard evidence post I think speaks to most of the common ways of finding out what is going on. 

The other option is just to divorce him but in your case, until you find something out, I think that is premature...


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm sorry you are going through this. It does sound like you have a lot to be concerned about.

My bet is that he's cheating, probably with someone at his work. Have you checked his phone bills to see if there is one number that is calls and/or texts often.

Do you feel that you need proof that he is cheating in order for you to move on, or make a decision of your path here?


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Maybe on the cheating..

His 'maybe' affair, his 'maybe a-flair partner', she being a toker, a puffer of tobacco.
Oh, he may not be smoking, maybe puffing.

He keeping her around, feeding her cigarettes, using this, these to remain close.

Close to her smoke.
Basking in her fire.

Wetting his whistle with her damp lips. 
Getting his whistle, whistled out.

.........................................................................................................................

On the steroids...

They make you aggressive, more aggressive if one is normally passive. 
They make you horny.

His horny, his AP honey may be Porny. 
She, a one-handed glad handler, sack slapper.

I think he has stopped lifting weights, maybe lifting his spirits by jerking her form, the AP's, over his head, behind your' back.

........................................................................................................

You are not losing him, you have lost him. 
Temporary, maybe forever.


----------



## Gallop77 (Dec 6, 2017)

I have checked the phone bill. He hardly ever talks to anyone that way. His text messages are set to delete after reaching 100. He keeps everything ultra private. Internet browsers and fake ip addresses. He doesn't like the idea of government kowing what he does. The browsers he uses do not save cookies. And wipe every thing every time you close the app. I have thought of installing a spy app, but I feel that could be going too far


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Gallop77 said:


> I have checked the phone bill. He hardly ever talks to anyone that way. His text messages are set to delete after reaching 100. He keeps everything ultra private. Internet browsers and fake ip addresses. He doesn't like the idea of government kowing what he does. The browsers he uses do not save cookies. And wipe every thing every time you close the app. I have thought of installing a spy app, but I feel that could be going too far


Yeah, he may not want the govt knowing what he is doing, but he for sure does not want you to know what he is doing. 

Installing a spy app is not in any way going to far...


----------



## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

This is just my opinion:

Your husband is a liar and he is either cheating or working up to it. Life doesn't need so many explanations for why you aren't intimate or why he needs to remove a key ring or why he wipes his browser. Your husband has a life outside of your marriage that he needs to hide. The wedding ring, the key chain, the lack of intimacy, the browser, the posting a false narrative....he just lies to you and sees if he can get away with it. (he does.) 

Sorry


----------

