# need advice??



## rodbite4434 (Sep 14, 2012)

First I thank god i found this site! And i thank all of you for telling your stories.


I moved out 4 months ago. My wife became a very controlling, angry and violent person. I was walking on egg shells every second. She said she wanted to be "free" and did not want to answer to know one. Her biggest thing she wants to go to the casino and spend what ever she wants without asking me and spend what ever she wants shopping.

The first two months i felt like i was ready to die. We had no contact. After two months i "had" to help her. She made no real attempt to find a job, and was days from getting evicted.

I own a small taxi business and she wanted to drive, so i gave her a job. A little over a month we had lunch everyday, went to the beach, and it felt awesome. I even spent a few nights at the house. But she said i could not sleep in "her" bed. (for years everything has been "hers" ) even though i paid everything. Then after a day or two she tells me to go home (i live in a hotel9

THEN!!!!! I found this site. I found i am the "Nice Guy" and that is 90% of what caused the problems in the marriage. I read the book no more Mr. Nice Guy and plan to read again.

So i did the 180 and man did i see a change in her, how she talks to me, last night i went to her house to fix my sons Bike and she came outside to help. She would have never done that in the past 4 years of our marriage. I blame me being a "nice guy" EVERYTHING i did was to try and keep her happy.

A couple times she has tried to push my buttons when dealing with her at work but i cut her off and tell her i am busy. NOW this is the hardest thing i have to do. I want my family back so bad. The first five years of our marriage we where best friends and lovers.

So i would like any advice and guidance from anyone 

But i have a question about the 180? I have to talk to her everyday ( i try to do allot by text) I call her and give her taxi jobs. I only give her enough work to Pay her bills and Live, and i make her pay $100 a week. (other drivers pay $150) She thinks she should be able to pick the good jobs and make more money, and not pay anything told her this is a business and i wont do that.
Am i doing the correct thing?????


Rod


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

You are actually on the right track if you plan to live your whole life with someone who doesnt accept you being who you are. You dont seem to be this "bad" guy that is getting her attraction. How long are you going to keep that up?

the 180 is FOR YOU, not for her. Are you insecure? What makes you think that you cant find a woman that will love the "nice guy"....honestly, you can if you give yourself a chance. 

Try to be yourself and you'll see how she goes back to the same ways. Thats not life.


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