# Online dating. Cyber Security vs the 'honesty card'



## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

So as some might know, though I will avoid a relationship like the plague, I still play the field a bit. Usually just take business as it comes around. (certain I will get hammered for that line...lol) Anyway, because of my background, I know too much about cyber security and I know I am putting myself at risk just messing with certain apps. For that reason, when I use OLD, I use a different name, change the age slightly, and in general try to keep other parties from learning my life history. It is bad enough putting your friggin picture online for the world to see.

Well, since I was testing the "picture based" theories months ago, I listed myself as a doctor. It did prove my point though because I still got the exact same types and numbers. Statistically there was no change....lol

Anyway, I try not to get naive and certainly don't attach, but stumbled into what I would consider a step up. Because my gut was telling me she might be a good human, I told her quickly my real name, age, etc. I told her my reasons and that I really do have one woman that I need to get a restraining order against. I am just not an "open book" type. I am mysterious and cautious type.

Anyway, the woman I am chatting with seemed to be cool with my profile stuff for now. Time will tell, but it got me wondering if anyone else does this? Does anyone realize all your data is being logged on servers around the globe? Like they get to match your pics with name, phone, etc, etc. Facial recognition is a real deal today, brought to you by the NSA, and stolen by China.

Now, let me tell you, with only a first name and only a few details, I can find people fast. Way more than I should know or even want to know. And we all know woman are like bloodhound on a steak when digging for intel.

I had one date tell me things about me that she quickly realized I never told her. This is one reason I am doing up some new cell numbers.

It is a scary world and I even tell women I talk to, to at least fake their name. If their name is unique, it is super easy. It should not be!

Just curious if any others do this? Does this usually blow up in your face? Other strategies?


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## perashlie (Jul 14, 2021)

I think you are reinsured. Who needs to find and learn about you, even if you tell your name and age


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## abigailla (Jul 14, 2021)

I do not think that such a reassurance will help you, but if it makes you feel calmer, then why not do it.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

A dear friend of mine just started OLD. She uses her middle name on line & says she's from the town where she works not where she lives. She doesn't disclose her occupation but when pressed says only that she's self employed. I have employed some of those same techniques to avoid being scammed / stalked too & not just on dating sites. 

Now lying about your profession that could be complicated. If I was a doctor or nurse & picked you because you said you were a doctor but then I found out you lied, I'd be annoyed. So it's a fine line. Changing your profession isn't the same as protecting yourself.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

bobsmith said:


> For that reason, when I use OLD, I use a different name, change the age slightly, and in general try to keep other parties from learning my life history


I don't have a problem with people using a nickname, or general description of their field of work, or using a nearby Town as their city. 

I do thinks it's shady to lie about your age (unless you're adding years) and occupation. You don't have to be specific about your job but don't tell me you're an engineer when you work in McDonalds. Just say you're in the food service industry.


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

OMG - deception from the start. I can't and won't live that way. The discussions on here about OLD have made me think and feel it is more pathetic and desperate than I already did/imagined. I really don't get why do OLD anyway - all it takes is keep the eyes open at the bank, grocery store/any shopping, whenever out and about and if see something you like without a ring on chat them up. 2 minutes is about all it takes to know if conversation is going to flow and there is mutual interest - and ask to meet up with them later. Seems like a hell of a lot easier than these BS games and all the crap and work OLD seems to be.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

D0nnivain said:


> Now lying about your profession that could be complicated. If I was a doctor or nurse & picked you because you said you were a doctor but then I found out you lied, I'd be annoyed. So it's a fine line. Changing your profession isn't the same as protecting yourself.


As I mentioned, I learned a long time ago to not take OLD serious. I pick around, I get matches, I look, I delete them, they delete me, etc, etc. Very rarely even try to chat with them. But I wanted to see how many gold diggers I could find! It's rarely a big deal if you just delete them. I did this months ago and literally have talked to ONE woman since doing that and I both told her, and changed my profession back. She was also the only one to reach out to me and apply a humorous one liner, which few woman can do on OLD. 

But I am now left wondering if that woman chose me because of the profession, not that my real profession is light on opportunity, just that women know that doctor usually means I get my own BMW. 

It is possible this one is gold hunting because her family did immigrate here and I find that non-natives are more aggressive in latching onto opportunity in the USA. I see ghetto folks burning down their own neighborhood and whining for more freebies, and immigrants that are here legally are getting PHDs, MDs, and exercising the greatness of the USA. Sorry, small rant there. Anyway, I do feel immigrants may have different motives for relationships.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

bobsmith said:


> As I mentioned, I learned a long time ago to not take OLD serious. I pick around, I get matches, I look, I delete them, they delete me, etc, etc. Very rarely even try to chat with them. But I wanted to see how many gold diggers I could find!


So, from what you're saying, it sounds like your OLD ventures are for entertainment and (possibly) research. There are gold diggers in this world. Just wondering why you want to find out how many there actually are. For all I know, you are trying to figure out the percentage of women who participate in OLD to find a sugar daddy.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Prodigal said:


> So, from what you're saying, it sounds like your OLD ventures are for entertainment and (possibly) research. There are gold diggers in this world. Just wondering why you want to find out how many there actually are. For all I know, you are trying to figure out the percentage of women who participate in OLD to find a sugar daddy.


I think there is some truth in that. At least when I decided to change my profession. I don't recall the last time I met someone from OLD. I just see myself as 'another among many' on there so...... But I don't even use my full name on other social media.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm trying to remember if my online dating profiles ever even included a mention of my profession. I'm pretty sure they didn't. I know my now-husband's profile did not. 

I would be weirded out by someone not having honest information in their dating profile. A nickname or middle name? Fine. Using a nearby town rather than your actual one. Fine. But once you start putting in the wrong age, wrong profession, wrong personal details, etc. then you're creating a fake profile you'll need to explain later. I'm not entirely sure I'd be any more willing to hang around after finding out about a false profile created because of cybersecurity concerns, than I would be for a false profile created because of any of the myriad other reasons people lie in their OLD profiles.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

bobsmith said:


> I don't recall the last time I met someone from OLD. I just see myself as 'another among many' on there so...


Are you on free OLD sites or do you have to pay? Just wondering if it's worth the money or time if you're not getting much out of it.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

I used the free stuff. I mostly enjoy messing with all the scammers. Never can figure out their angle or reasoning. But certainly raises my security flag a bit. I guess the paid stuff would not be nearly as bad. 

I think I tried Match years ago. What is funny is it's all the same people, just a different menu. 

I get why some think what I is deceiving and mostly the women, but from my side of the fence, probably 50% are obviously WAY lying about their age. Like a 50 something saying they are 30s. Come on! I changed mine by a year and I NEVER use my actual birth date on anything online! Not even for the government.

Currently chatting with one that is leaning on a stripper pole.....lmao! Wash my keyboard...... It's just very hard to take seriously.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

bobsmith said:


> I used the free stuff. I mostly enjoy messing with all the scammers. Never can figure out their angle or reasoning. But certainly raises my security flag a bit. I guess the paid stuff would not be nearly as bad.
> 
> I think I tried Match years ago. What is funny is it's all the same people, just a different menu.
> 
> ...


2 wrongs don’t make a right. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Well, I do understand the women coming here to scold me, but I was mostly just asking if this was something anyone else was doing. I guess not....which might be good for my security I guess. 

Just FYI, the one I was chatting with tonight said, "sorry for the late replies busy much." the scammers are sneaky. I don't know their angle but I know for a fact facial recognition software is a big problem today. She literally said she was from a town I have used on another site. It's dirty ball!

I asked her for her number. I'll update with the reply. There will be an excuse or scam number. Simps are so gullible.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

I lied and made up whole elaborate stories when I first started talking to women back in the day. But realized after a short time that shameless honesty usually got much better results. 

Even if they won't say so directly, a lot of women probably aren't going to buy that you're lying about your age and name to protect your cyber security. Or that you're just on there to hunt for gold diggers. It just doesn't ring true.


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## m.t.t (Oct 5, 2016)

bobsmith said:


> Well, I do understand the women coming here to scold me, but I was mostly just asking if this was something anyone else was doing. I guess not....which might be good for my security I guess.
> 
> Just FYI, the one I was chatting with tonight said, "sorry for the late replies busy much." the scammers are sneaky. I don't know their angle but I know for a fact facial recognition software is a big problem today. She literally said she was from a town I have used on another site. It's dirty ball!
> 
> I asked her for her number. I'll update with the reply. There will be an excuse or scam number. Simps are so gullible.



Don't mean to be rude but I just don't get why you would be using OLD as a game or to call people out. No wonder OLD is a crap show. There are so many other things you could be doing with your time.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

bobsmith said:


> Well, I do understand the women coming here to scold me, but I was mostly just asking if this was something anyone else was doing. I guess not....which might be good for my security I guess.
> 
> Just FYI, the one I was chatting with tonight said, "sorry for the late replies busy much." the scammers are sneaky. I don't know their angle but I know for a fact facial recognition software is a big problem today. She literally said she was from a town I have used on another site. It's dirty ball!
> 
> I asked her for her number. I'll update with the reply. There will be an excuse or scam number. Simps are so gullible.


Why is saying that she was busy and just got to returning messages a scam?

She's using a nearby town. Isn't that exactly what you recommended people using online dating do in the OP? 

And how would you even know if it's a scam number? I'm not a scammer and had an ALT Google Voice number that i used when online dating. A reverse search returned nothing.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Lila said:


> Why is saying that she was busy and just got to returning messages a scam?
> 
> She's using a nearby town. Isn't that exactly what you recommended people using online dating do in the OP?
> 
> And how would you even know if it's a scam number? I'm not a scammer and had an ALT Google Voice number that i used when online dating. A reverse search returned nothing.


Some of my profession is in this sector. The reality is this is a fake profile entirely. They steal other people's pictures, then try to gather info. For what purpose is not clear unless men actually give in. 

When someone is white but communicates in a way that it's obvious English is not their language, it stands out! As well, I throw in test criteria like "how you enjoying this cold weather?" when it is currently 100F outside. This one wanted information, then started demanding, "answer my questions"..... There are lots of things. 

For these reasons, I have to examine my exposure. They don't have my real name, my actual age, but they are stealing pictures and likely running through software. I know some would say 'just don't even do it', but I don't get out much otherwise.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I'm not scolding, but suggesting you consider finding a more constructive way to spend your time.


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## Theborg (Apr 13, 2021)

No, I'm not paranoid. If someone in another country wants to use my image, go for it! Hell, the area I live in doesn't even show up on GPS, so I figure I'm safe even if they find my address. You really think women are awful, don't you? Every single one of the half of the earth's population and is out to get you...


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Just in case someone has genuine interest in cyber threats, I prodded the scammer further and their reply was "are you a cop?" Stay safe out there!


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