# Advice on gaining weight needed



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

My MIL had and has some health issues. She has lost a lot of weight. Too much weight. She also gets bad sleep. I'm worried about her health, specifically her weight. She has a lot of strange diet habits due to her religion and her own superstitions. Not to get into that part too much, but she needs to put on some pounds. Any good healthy ways to pack on some weight? Like another 10-20 pounds or so. I'm not good with this diet stuff.


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

Hey, just catching up on your thread. How old is she? What about Boost and Ensure? When my grandmother had dementia, she lost her sense of taste, and almost the only thing my aunt and uncle, her caretakers, could get her to eat were ice cream and milkshakes.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

My mom was much the same.

Much of it was worry based. She worried too much, took too much on her shoulders, and constantly put herself through far more stress than was necessary. It's really amazing how many calories worry and stress can burn. Does your stress much? Sometimes the best answer is a minor psychological tweak rather than anything physical. 

Also, I'm guessing if she has serious dietary limitations due to religion, she probably doesn't smoke. But just in case I'm reading that wrong, stopping smoking is a sure fire way to pick up 10 - 25 lbs.

Is she open to exercise? I'm sure you know as well as anybody that adding a little muscle mass not only adds a few pounds, but adds quality weight rather than dead weight. And you don't have to be young and male to get some benefit here. Not powerlifitng but some tone-building exercise.

Without knowing exactly what her dietary restrictions are, it's hard to to prescribe dietary solutions.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Over the years I have worked for a number of terminal people. Especially during cancer treatments, I have seen the appetite simply disappear. In the old days the doctor sent the patient out to eat and gain weight and stamina. Hardly ever worked. There are a few supplements that are easy to eat/drink, and will put on weight fast. This, is an uphill battle that I have watched (remember, I had the opposite problem for 35 years +/-) as it is difficult to get in the required number of calories when you just are not inclined to eat. A great number of these weight gain shakes are available at health food stores. They do work.


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## MZMEE (Apr 17, 2018)

You first must get to the root of her problems because it won't matter how many extra calories she takes in if the root issue is just going to take it off again. You will just waste money. She needs a full evaluation. If she is stressed or has any emotional issues, those need to be addressed first. If she is sick, that needs to be resolved first. Once all of those root-causes are handled, then you can encourage her to change her diet by adding more healthy calories.

There are protein meal replacement drinks but most are not real tastey so if she is picky, it won't work. When I was trying to gain weight I used to take Isopure Mass because I would put 16 oz of water in a shaker and chug it down. That would give me 600 calories. It's 900 calories with whole milk. BUT...it made me pretty full. The key is she would have to eat something (small meals/snacks/drink) every 2 hours like a baby. High calorie. The pounds will start to stick.

Ensure is an option also. Ensure has 300 calories per can. Ensure Plus has 350. But it can be costly. Anywhere between 11-15.00 dollars for a 6-pack. Medical professionals give this to patients who have weight issues all the time and they are very tasty! I tend to like the Vanilla.

I know you are trying to help her but really she needs professional help to find the root cause of her weight loss before a real plan can be developed. If she is not willing to get evaluated, you are in a losing battle and so is she.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

She is a basket of worries. A real head case. In terms of her religious beliefs, she is Buddhist. Which means they dont eat meats on certain days at least in her own sect. However, she will see something negative happen in her life or a family member's life, or get stressed and go all out on not eating a lot of certain things. To please Buddha or whatever. She goes strict vegan, or even fasts, then comes back off a few days later, and her diet goes back to normal. These massive shifts in her diet along with stress are a major factor IMO, but I really dont know what I'm talking about as far as the diet. Its probably more the stress. I just imagine these diet shifts are probably hurting as well. 

She also has thyroid issues. Her medication gave her problems, like she was getting depressed. She was also not able to sleep very well. So she quit taking it. At first I believe she had one type of thyroid issue, then the doctor said now she has a different one. Sorry I'm not a great help with the details. I try not to talk to much about it with my wife because she gets pretty down about it when she is talking to me. 

My mom mentioned to my wife about melatonin as a sleep aid. However from what I've read, that can bad if you are on blood pressure medication. 

I tend to lean towards natural foods and stuff for illnesses and sleep aids. Mostly because I tend to think doctors are nothing but a bunch of filthy pill pushing drug dealers essentially. At the very least, most of them are, and only a small percentage of doctors actually do what is right for their patients over what is good for their pocket books. Probably wrong, but I'm very suspicious of doctors in general and don't like all the medications they prescribe after a 10 minute talk with someone they dont even know. Seems awfully fishy to me the way our medical industry is run these days. *sees patient for 5-10 minutes. Asks 10 questions. Prescribes medication*... one month later *sees patient for 5-10 minutes. Asks 10 questions. Notes new symptoms due to previous prescription in a book. Perscribes new medication*... Wash, rinse, repeat. I don't know how I'm supposed to just trust these people are doing what is right for someone. "I think you have hyperthyroidism. Take the pills, I'll see you next month" a month goes by... "Oh, maybe you have hypothyroidism, here take these pills instead" that is basically what I see. Btw, this is exactly what we saw. She has one of those two, and yes they did flip flop their diagnosis. Yes we've tried to get her to go somewhere else. Obamacare sucks though. She doesn't have a ton of options. 

So besides workouts, and ensure, and I'm sure getting a new doctor as we've suggested many times. Any other healthy alternatives? 

Btw, ive seen the same issues with loads of different doctors, so I'm not so sure many of them are all that different.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Thyroid problems are very difficult to treat. The amount you need varies over time. Each kind of thyroid med may react differently with your body. It's very common for people with thyroid issues to have to have continual visits and tweaks. The problem is her thyroid works sometimes but is kind of weak, so the meds have to be tweaked based on what is going on at that time. Thyroid problems are like being a diabetic--you need constant monitoring to know how much to treat the problem.

It is going to be very difficult for you to get her to gain weight. Forget about exercise. It would be extremely difficult to get her to exercise in any meaningful way. Don't waste any time with that as it's just going to make her more resistant. Does she live with you? If so, you could make her food with more fats. A little bit more oil and butter on a regular basis will help. Adding a bit more nuts and seeds is also good, as they are packed with fat and protein. But if she doesn't live with you, it will be very difficult for you to change her food habits.

The only certain way is for her to be motivated to fix this herself, but we all know how much of a challenge that is. Whether gaining or losing weight, it's very hard to motivate someone else to change. There may be a way, but be aware that you need to approach this gently or else she may become more defiant and make the problem worse.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I know this isn't really helpful, but if she's Buddhist, and constantly fraught with worry, she's not doing the Buddhism thing very well. 

Hyperthyroidism is definitely a problem in weight maintenance. Meds help, but as you say, there can be side effects. 

Within the confines of veganism it is possible to eat calorie rich foods that will provide protein and support weight maintenance. Pinto beans, nut butters, etc. I've made some mighty fine breakfast burritos with refries, vegan "cheese", fresh veggies, and some very tasty soy chorizo (the best comes from Trader Joes). I guarantee you eat a couple of those for breakfast every day, you won't be in calorie deficit. 

I'm also a big fan of natural solutions. Even if I set aside suspicions about doctors pushing pills, I believe natural solutions are usually the best for you, independent of any profit motives which may be driving the pharmaceutical industry.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> My MIL had and has some health issues. She has lost a lot of weight. Too much weight. She also gets bad sleep. I'm worried about her health, specifically her weight. She has a lot of strange diet habits due to her religion and her own superstitions. Not to get into that part too much, but she needs to put on some pounds. Any good healthy ways to pack on some weight? Like another 10-20 pounds or so. I'm not good with this diet stuff.


*I'd have to say that before embarking upon that weight gain, have her get fully checked out by an MD and get some advice from them!*


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