# Question about disolution of mariage papers and written notarized agreement



## tony8404 (Sep 16, 2009)

okay, i just told the wife that i want to have in the dissolution of marriage paperwork that i get to see the kids when ever i want to and that she claims one child for taxes i get to claim the other child.

She says fine. 

But she says we cannot just write that in the paperwork it would have to be redone and cost money. She says we can write it up ourselves and have it notarized.. 

Is that true? Will the notarized agreement we make up ourselves hold up in court if we submit that with the dissolution paperwork or not count a?


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

You should be able to add an "addendum"... AS LONG AS YOU SPECIFY IN THE BODY OF THE DIVORCE DECREE that there is an addendum.

But why risk it?

For fifty bucks, your attorney's (or hers) paralegal can insert the language into the DIVORCE DECREE. Then, as Stevie Wonder would say, it's "signed, sealed, delivered."

Don't take chances.

A notarized piece of paper does not carry nearly the judicial/legal weight that a judge's signature and "FINAL" stamped decree does.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Don't take my word as gold because I live in PA and you live in the Midwest, but here's my situation.

My ex and I divorced in 2010. We have an official divorce decree/child custody & support agreement filed (incidentally in another county since we've both moved since then but I don't think that matters). Over the years we deviated from it without doing anything official and we even took child support "off the books" so to speak (he started paying me directly instead of having wages garnished).

We reconciled in 2014. It all went to hell when he decided "ahhh, nope, changed my mind."

So, we split up again. I moved out, bought a house. He refinanced the house we'd just bought together into his own name.

During this process I met with an attorney to get his advice (different attorney than I had the first time, who I paid a retainer to, the whole nine). Ex and I were going back and forth with each other trying to come up with a new agreement and I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, so needed some advice on some things.

My attorney told me that the new agreement we came up with would STAND in court even if we did not get it notarized. He said getting it notarized was really a waste of our money, but we could do it if we wanted to. So, I wrote up the addendum, and stated it was an addendum to the original agreement filed in 2010, printed out a copy for each of us, we each signed both, and we each have a copy. The attorney also did look at it for me I believe. There are lots of examples on the internet of agreements you can copy from. The whole thing cost me $100 (lawyer's hourly fee cut in half because he was late for our meeting, and is also my sister's attorney and he likes her and her husband!).


----------



## tony8404 (Sep 16, 2009)

if i have the dissolution of marriage papers now and have not signed how to you add that there is an addendum to be added?

I know she means well to tell me we can write up the agreements and have notarized but what i read so far wont hold in court. so not sure is she is pulling a fast one on me.


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

tony8404 said:


> if i have the dissolution of marriage papers now and *have not signed *how to you add that there is an addendum to be added?


If you have not signed, DO NOT MAKE AN ADDENDUM!!

INSERT THE NEW LANGUAGE, CLEAR AS DAY. Then sign, then proceed with divorce.

OP, don't create legal issues where there are none. You have plenty of time to get the "official decree" correct, in its final form.

What's fifty bucks that could save you THOUSANDS of $$ down the road?

Don't let her hoodwink you...


----------



## tony8404 (Sep 16, 2009)

so i can write (new language) what we agree on in these papers called " Judgement for dissolution of marriage"


----------



## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

Look, all a notary's seal does is "affirm" that you really are the person whose signature is on the page. It doesn't "prove" anything else. That's why the lawyer said it is essentially a waste of time and money. That is correct. What Happy as a Clam and others are saying to you is not to be penny wise and pound foolish. Spending the money now to get it done right could save you tens of thousands down the road. The situation you outline, an addendum to an agreement, that both parties are in agreement with, is not an expensive proposition for your average lawyer. Go ask how much, I think you'll be surprised.


----------



## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

tony8404 said:


> okay, i just told the wife that i want to have in the dissolution of marriage paperwork that i get to see the kids when ever i want to and that she claims one child for taxes i get to claim the other child.
> 
> She says fine.
> 
> ...



If it's not in the final court order than it doesn't exist or is otherwise unenforceable. Get it in the orders.


----------

