# Young Couples



## Zab (Jul 25, 2012)

Do we have young married couples here, 20 something? If we do, I'd like to know how has it been for you, happy/unhappy/stressful? :yawn2:

If you were to reverse things would you marry the same person and why?:rofl:


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## Feelingdown (Aug 13, 2012)

Got married at 24 (25 now), wife was 22 (23 now), so yeah, really young. Got a load of advice from people saying give it time, you're still young etc, but when you know it's right it's right. 

Wouldn't change a thing, it's probably been the best time of my life.


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## lalsr1988 (Apr 16, 2012)

Got married at 17, wife was 20. Been married 6 years now. So both still young. But I wouldn't change anything about our relationship. We have had our bad days, but the good days far outweigh them. We are a lot alike in how we think about things, and its hard for me to imagine a life without her and our children.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zab (Jul 25, 2012)

Wow-keep it up guys, I'm also 25 and got married at 23, and I'm enjoying it.


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## GreenMan710 (Aug 13, 2012)

My wife and I were married 3 years ago in January. I just turned 26, my wife will be 27 before the year ends.

Few people are happier than us. We don't really fight. We do throw zingers at each other all the time though, which I think is healthy.

We have loving cats, newer cars and a 1700 sq. foot home.  Young marriage has paid off for us.

The biggest thing is living with each other. We lived together for 5 years before getting married and I suggest everyone live with a potential spouse for at least a year before marrying.


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## GreenMan710 (Aug 13, 2012)

Oh and when I told people about my marriage. My best friends mother told me I was too young and stupid.

As I said, we have two 2008 veichiles, a big house and we do well. My friend, though a great and intelligent guy. Is in like his 8th year as a student and lives at home. Hm.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

My husband and I married at 19. We were engaged three months after we started saying and married nine months later. We have an amazing marriage, and wouldn't trade our lives together for anything. We have been married for 4.5 years, and are doing great for ourselves. We own a 2700 sq four bedroom home that we purchased at 20 years old, my husband has a 2007 Dodge truck that was paid off at purchase, brand new. I have a nice older model SUV that I keep because I want to, not because I have to. We both have great careers, and share a passion for our volunteer work. We have three dogs, a cat and a turtle but no children. We live an adventurous life and have never questioned ourdecision to marry. People looking from the outside didn't think we would make it, and every accomplishment in our lives is a little encouragement to towards the feeling that we made the right decision.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Zab said:


> Do we have young married couples here, 20 something? If we do, I'd like to know how has it been for you, happy/unhappy/stressful? :yawn2:
> 
> If you were to reverse things would you marry the same person and why?:rofl:


I'm 24 and H is 27

Happy times, mostly stressful times. and a lot of unhappy times
But surprisingly. The happy times have kept us together and all in all, the love is still strong.

If I could reverse things, I might have waited a while before marrying my S to lay down some ground rules and build respect for each other first. I can not picture my life without him. So I cannot say that if I had another go at life that I wouldn't marry him again.  Although some might think I'm crazy


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## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

I'm 24, husband's 23. married for a half a year now. we have the most obscure issues not worth bringing up on this thread (just look at my other posts) but I wouldn't change anything.

maybe ask me again in a few more years.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I'm 24, he's 25 and we got married July of last year. It has been happy, unhappy, AND stressful. There are times when I believe I would have made a better match with someone else and it may be true but I don't regret marrying him. However he does have some personal issues (side effects of seeing a lot of sh!t in Iraq) that would have been nice if he had worked it out on his own before deciding to find someone to settle down with but that's ok. I'll deal. I knew it wasn't going to be easy.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Not married... legally but I have known my SO for about 7 years and we have been together as a couple for almost five. He was my best friend to begin with and still is. I am 25 and he is 29, we have our issues like any other couple... but despite whatever arguements, bad feelings, ect that pop up... we have been able to shove those aside in the darkest of times and take eachother by the hand to face the bad times together... as a team. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else and wouldn't trade him for the world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tiredandout (Jun 1, 2011)

When we married I was 24, he was 30. We have had good times and bad. Unfortunately, less good and more bad. We both came into the marriage with a lot of baggage, married too soon and had a great deal of struggles right in the beginning of our marriage (immigration, unemployment, depression) to overcome. 

I have grown A LOT as a person and will always be grateful for my husband for showing me where I was lacking. I would've had trouble with anyone, I belive, as I have had to unlearn many ways that were ingraned in me in my FOO. I would've had to do that no matter what. So I don't regret it. I don't believe in regrets. Life has given me this lessons for a reason. Might as well make the most of it.

But I haven't fully made my mind about staying in this union. I make a choice to stay 6 months and see if things get better. So far they have always gotten better. If they stop getting better (despite both our efforts) then I will reassess my choice to stay.

I realize that compared to many here we're not even _that_ young. But age is just a number, no matter the age we were both extremely immature.


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## onemic (Aug 14, 2012)

I'm turning 28 and she's 27. We've been married for 6 years now. Everything was normal like you guys say- ups and downs, smiles and frowns. 
Found out two weeks ago about her affair! Yup with a younger guy I work with that has nothing going for him. No car, no house, no apartment, no license etc. A bum really! 
As my (wife) and I were fighting calling eachother names he found say the opposite and mAke her feel good. Since were all friends i didnt suspect anything like that! But i guess you turn your back and someone will come and stab it. That's how the ea began I my eyes then turned PA! 
I would do a lot things differently if u had a fresh start, but I'm in the fence now about doing it all again or giving another shot into this thing called a marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

onemic said:


> I'm turning 28 and she's 27. We've been married for 6 years now. Everything was normal like you guys say- ups and downs, smiles and frowns.
> Found out two weeks ago about her affair! Yup with a younger guy I work with that has nothing going for him. No car, no house, no apartment, no license etc. A bum really!
> As my (wife) and I were fighting calling eachother names he found say the opposite and mAke her feel good. Since were all friends i didnt suspect anything like that! But i guess you turn your back and someone will come and stab it. That's how the ea began I my eyes then turned PA!
> I would do a lot things differently if u had a fresh start, but I'm in the fence now about doing it all again or giving another shot into this thing called a marriage.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*Threadjack*

My H did this to me too, with my friend I worked with. I let her stay with us and hang out with us (she broke up with her BF) Totally ugly, had nothing going for her type of girl. That was a five years ago now.


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## onemic (Aug 14, 2012)

somethingelse said:


> *Threadjack*
> 
> My H did this to me too, with my friend I worked with. I let her stay with us and hang out with us (she broke up with her BF) Totally ugly, had nothing going for her type of girl. That was a five years ago now.


Are you still together? How did that turn out? Sorry if I'm bringing up something you don't want to talk about!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## broken a (Aug 18, 2012)

My husband and I met our senior yr of HS. We got pregnant and had our 1st son at 18... we married at age 20 and now we're 23 (we're only a month apart) and just had our second son in May. We have definately had our ups and downs.. we've seperated and I found out a month ago he had an EA, but through all that we're still together. He's the one I love and I can't help that. We have an amazing life together even though I'm having a hard time with the cheating I realize we are young and I can grow. I need to give him the attention so that I dont' catch other girls giving it to him. We just got so caught up in work and our kids we left out the time for us, but we're going to change that. So for now would I change anything?! No, it has helped us grow. We have a brand new car and a nice home. We have our toys like fourwheelers, jetski and stuff for our boys. He makes a nice living for us and for that I'm thankful (especially for our age I could've made out worse)


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

onemic said:


> Are you still together? How did that turn out? Sorry if I'm bringing up something you don't want to talk about!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh no, I'm fine with talking about it.

We are still together. They had been intimate with each other at least 4 times in our house in two days. Once in her car while I was asleep...the next day I was at work and she didn't show up. They were together. He told me at the end of the day out of guilt.

However, I rugswept it...thinking that he would see my love for him. Then four months later he cheated on me again..this time with his ExG...so really....it hasn't worked out to our benefit since then


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## onemic (Aug 14, 2012)

Wow sorry to hear that! 
At least you know you did your part and he's the one who caused everything!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## onemic (Aug 14, 2012)

And yes I think we high jacked this thread but it may open others eyes just a little bit that it can happen to you. 
That's what got me... I thought it wouldn't happen! When we fought I told her nobody would wanna have sex will her. 
Boy was I wrong! Damn...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Really interesting, kind of a recurring theme here.

Sad thing is, I thought the same thing when I was young. I guess with age, sometimes comes wisdom.

I wonder how many of you young couples would be happy if you were living in a small studio, driving a beat up car and barely making it month to month on paying the bills.

I'm kinda of wondering now maybe this is why the divorce rate is so high now a days of how young people think what makes a marriage successful to them.

BTW, for you young couples, do you know what's the #1 reason for divorces? It's not cheating.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> Really interesting, kind of a recurring theme here.
> 
> Sad thing is, I thought the same thing when I was young. I guess with age, sometimes comes wisdom.
> 
> ...



I'm guessing it is due to the stress that is the end result of not having money. Me and my H were poor for years, and always on edge because of it. But we strived to get out of that situation.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> I wonder how many of you young couples would be happy if you were living in a small studio, driving a beat up car and barely making it month to month on paying the bills.


When my husband and I first got married we were living in my mom's house, with old beat up vehicles, and barely making it by as it was. I was not working, and he was just starting out in his career. We did just fine, and were completely and totally happy. Things got better and we are proud of what we have for being so young, but it isn't what makes us happy. Being together makes us happy.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> Really interesting, kind of a recurring theme here.
> 
> Sad thing is, I thought the same thing when I was young. I guess with age, sometimes comes wisdom.
> 
> ...


I can honestly say... my man and I have never lived in a 1 bedroom studio.... but we have went through some rough times... an have even been without a vehicle before so we had to hoof it everywhere. Heck we have even been homeless a few times.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

You guys just keep your guard up when you hit your 30s, that seems to be when most early marriages tend to fall apart. You won’t believe how much you’ll change in the coming decade.

I've seen it a hundred times where one spouse starts feeling "old" and feels like that missed out on a lot of fun in their twenties (dating, partying) by being tied down to one person the whole time. This tends to be more of a woman problem and manifests itself once they cross the 30 mark. Many women have a hard time dealing with being 30 and act out by having an affair. This is probably an unfair generalization but I’ve seen it enough to think it needs to be looked into.

My advice is to always communicate and always keep up walls when dealing with the opposite sex. There are no such things as “just friends” and NEVER, EVER discuss marital issue with the opposite sex (don’t kid yourself saying you need a man’s/woman’s view on the matter). ANYONE can have an affair, ANYONE no matter how much you think you are immune to it. It’s that kind of arrogance that makes people take risks and end up neck deep in an A before they know it. You need a friend, find someone like you. I don't care if the other person is 20 years older and married or is 10 years younger and lives with their mom, they are all potential affair partners.

Communication is really the key, once that stops then your marriage is in danger.


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

You guys just keep your guard up when you hit your 30s, that seems to be when most early marriages tend to fall apart. You won’t believe how much you’ll change in the coming decade.

I've seen it a hundred times where one spouse starts feeling "old" and feels like that missed out on a lot of fun in their twenties (dating, partying) by being tied down to one person the whole time. This tends to be more of a woman problem and manifests itself once they cross the 30 mark. Many women have a hard time dealing with being 30 and act out by having an affair. This is probably an unfair generalization but I’ve seen it enough to think it needs to be looked into.

My advice is to always communicate and always keep up walls when dealing with the opposite sex. There are no such things as “just friends” and NEVER, EVER discuss marital issues with the opposite sex (don’t kid yourself saying you need a man’s/woman’s view on the matter). ANYONE can have an affair, ANYONE no matter how much you think you are immune to it. It’s that kind of arrogance that makes people take risks and end up neck deep in an A before they know it. You need a friend, find someone like you. I don't care if the other person is 20 years older and married or is 10 years younger and lives with their mom, they are all potential affair partners.

Communication is really the key, once that stops then your marriage is in danger.


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## katieann (Jul 13, 2012)

My husband and I meet on the first day of college and were married eleven months later, we were both 19. Just had our seventh anniversary, and we have a pretty good marriage in my opinion. Not a lot of fights, mostly just occasional arguments about who has to clean something, since neither of us is a big fan of house work. We were crazy young, but I think it was one of those situations where when it's right, it just is.


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## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

I am 25 and me and my hubby got married at 22. Still in love and very happy! We make do alright with what we got. Trying to get a house, no kids yet, still in school.


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

My husband and I met when I was 22 and he was 24. From the day we met, we have been inseparable. We are now 28 and 30. We moved in together after knowing each other for 6 months. We met in 2006, had our daughter in 2008. He also proposed in 2008, a couple months before our daughter was born. We got married in 2010 when I was 14 weeks pregnant with our son. We are expecting another little girl in November. I would not change a thing. I really did end up with the man of my dreams. I had only been in one relationship prior to him, which was the father of my oldest son. Aside from that I only had one other sexual partner so hubs is my third. I knew what I wanted and didn't settle. After a bad experience with my son's father I vowed to be single for the rest of my life if I couldn't find a guy that met my standards. Hubs met all of them and then some so I am really glad I held out for him, otherwise I would have probably ended up with a total douche...... We had a lot of problems in the beginning due to my own insecurities but he stuck by me through it all and we are happy as ever


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## MQue (Aug 25, 2012)

Why does everyone feel the need on this thread to describe the tangible items you have obtained in your marriage? - I thought the question was about your relationship, not the money.......


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I'm not following MQ.... I only see others describing what they went through as a couple.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> I wonder how many of you young couples would be happy if you were living in a small studio, driving a beat up car and barely making it month to month on paying the bills.
> 
> I'm kinda of wondering now maybe this is why the divorce rate is so high now a days of how young people think what makes a marriage successful to them.
> 
> BTW, for you young couples, do you know what's the #1 reason for divorces? It's not cheating.


It's money. I feel like that was "said" with a tone of accusation and presumption.

I think the people that have mentioned monetary things do so because many people associate young couples with being poor and that leading to divorce. I think that these people are showing that they are financially stable and weren't rushing into marriage before they were okay, a common criticism of people who married young. 

Just because a couple didn't "rough it out" financially doesn't mean that they don't go through the ups and downs of marriage, the struggle to figure out how to live as one, together, the struggle that strengthens marriage bonds and intimacy in the end. Sooooo I'd thank you to tone down your judgmental self-righteousness please.


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

I don't think we married young, last September when we got married I was 24 and H was 29. Now we're 25/30. We've already done the living with relatives thing, the paycheque-to-paycheque thing but now we're on our own two feet and establishing a plan forward. Next up, a house, a kid, and something fluffy 

As for the actual relationship, we've had fights but never wavered in our love for one another. It's been mainly happy, and even though circumstances have changed, we have more stress, responsibilities, and less time, we still feel like we're in the 'honeymoon' phase (which we may well still be, I have no clue how long those things last). We never took it for granted that we could just 'be' together, since we're from different countries. Dating was fun but financially a nightmare, and we had to work hard every step of the way through the immigration process. So we're enormously happy now that nothing on this earth can ever separate us


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

I feel old when I talk about how long I've been married. But the truth is that I got married young. We are a young married couple and still will be for some time.

If I could go back I would have went with my initial plan to marry him at a later age. I was much too young. 

One of the things I had a hard time dealing with early on is that I gave up a lot to be married. Like I gave up on living to settle down. Since then we have found our happy medium. I still have a life outside of my marriage. I have a great group of friends. I'm always going out and doing things. I've learned he doesn't always have to be with me when I go to do things and vice versa. You just have to remember to stay true to yourself. And I'm true to the social person that I am.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Zab said:


> Do we have young married couples here, 20 something? If we do, I'd like to know how has it been for you, happy/unhappy/stressful? :yawn2:
> 
> If you were to reverse things would you marry the same person and why?:rofl:


I got married young, but my husband is a little older. I was repeatedly told by many family members and family friends that I am "too young" to be married at 22, but I have never seen it that way. I came into this knowing I am on the younger side and always knew it would be somewhat of a struggle to make it financially, as neither my husband nor I make a huge amount of money. We live in a decent one bedroom apartment, which is actually somewhat spacious and have some money saved up. We are not big spenders, so the money we earn is spent on necessities and the rest goes into savings. I don't regret getting married at my age at all and would always choose my husband again if I had to do it all over again. We had a rough start in our marriage, but it's gotten better and we're settling into married life. I would not change a thing.


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