# Please allow me to ask a few questions



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I went out tonight for a little while. I was sitting on the patio at a bar by myself after I ended my work day. While I was sitting there a coupe of woman cam in and sat at the table next to mine. I overheard the one woman introduce her friend to a guy sitting at the bar that I know casually. Then she took a phone call. I could over hear the conversation and she was talking about having the appraiser out before uesday so they could close. When she hung up I asked her if she was a realtor. She said yes and so was her friend. I asked if I could join them, and they agreed. So I went over and started talking to them about business, since I am an appraiser. We exchanged business cards. And they provided me with some contact information both for my appraisal business as well as for a possible move into selling. When I got home I googled both of them. Specifically the friend. She was a very attractive curly haired blonde with blue eyes. I found out she was a friend of a friend on Facebook. So I messaged him that I had met this woman and what could he tell me about her. 
So my question is -
is this the new norm in todays world of social media? 
Or is this the modern day equivalent of checking out some one you find attractive, pretty much the same as in HS except thru the internet instead of at lunch or in class?
Is it out of line? 
Would you even mention doing this if you would meet her again?
Because truth be told, I have every intention of contacting her next week and asking her out.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

In this day and age I would find out as much as possible before asking somebody out. I expect people to look for me on fb, especially if they were interested in dating me. I'm not on fb.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'd even check the state and country court records on them.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I've known lots of people who do this if they have someone's name.

I don't see anything wrong with it. And I hope you get a date.


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## lilbitoluv (Aug 14, 2015)

I would not mention it. Some people feel it is a violation of their privacy. I was getting to know a guy years ago and he told me that he googled me and did i live here or there. I was taken aback by it, very much so. Not because i have anything to hide, but why would you do that to someone you already getting to know and then tell them as if what they were telling you isn't good enough. Although she is a business person, and you could easily say it was about business, i thin you will be better off keeping that info to yourself. Women tend to find it creepy, I do anyway. 

I do google guys and will check to see if they are on facebook too! but I would never tell them that! I just think of it as doing my due diligence before i go out with someone I dont know. I think its totally fine, when they dont know.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I think it totally depends on the situation. If I was interested in the man, I would find it flattering. If he was creepy, I'd find it off-putting.

You sound totally normal and nice, so I don't think it is creepy . 

Good luck!


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Here's the thing Ynot, realtors rely very much on social net working for their business, so she knows her information is out there and certainly shouldn't be surprised you looked her up. BUT...you approached the situation in a professional capacity, "I'm an appraiser", you're a realtor, that being said she might be a little put off that you call to ask her out on a date, she's going to think you tricked her into giving you her number. The second BUT is so what, the worst that can happen is she says no and never calls you to appraise a house she is going to list.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Ynot, I could your advice on a matter if you don't mind sending me a private message.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

A) totally OK to look up a friend of a friend on social media. Yes, it's just like high school, except online. But don't tell her you looked her up, at least not right away. You can tell her that you checked out her "professional" web site or whatever, but you don't want her to think that you stalked her. 

B) You should definitely ask her out, even if turns out she says no. Take risks. I would recommend that went you do it, you say, "I'd like to *take you out *for drinks/coffee/dinner/whatever" so she knows that you're asking her out on a date. Nothing more awkward than meeting a guy somewhere for something she thought was a professional/networking social thing, and he thought is was a date (or vice versa). _Awkward._


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