# no idea



## mistyd (Jun 11, 2008)

hi all, 

I am new here and dont know where to start. I was told a week ago that hubby was supposed to have cheated on me. The girl in question has been caught before lying about doing things with people that really didnt happen. I have caught her in some of her lies before. Hubby had witnesses that said nothing happened and when I questioned them, everyone of them told me the same story he told me. I called the girl and told her that if she did have sex with him should would know the answers to the questions I was gonna ask her. I ask her what color underwear he had she told me white. which is lie one.
I ask about tattooes, scars, birthmarks, etc....she just said it was dark. Now I am thinking that if I slept with a married man, I am gonna know something about him that way I could tell it if asked about it. I asked her about certain sounds he did after sex because I have been with him for 15 years and he hasnt changed the things he does after sex since I have been with him. She told me he snorted like a pig, which I have never heard him do that. He has two very distinct things he has done for 15 years and I dont know why after that long that he would change them. My gut says nothing happened, its just that it grates on my nerves to think that they are people out there that would do something like that and that there are people stupid enough to believe her. She told me that her family all believed her but you have too look at the family. It is one where the girls' grandmother told her own daughter it was alright to have sex with her father. So of course they are gonna believe it. 

Anyones input would greatly be appreciated. Thanks so much for listening.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Welcome to the forums mistyd.

Given some people's behavior, I can't refrain from my sarcasm.

This chick obviously has some serious issues. Tell her the next time she sleeps with your husband that she should video tape it, to make her case more convincing.

I hope this is a non-issue where your husband is concerned, or was she successful in raising doubts? Do you suspect something happened that _didn't_ involve sex?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

What other people say or think is unimportant in this situation. That you believe and trust in your husband is important. Concentrate on your marriage and let this go. It appears you have enough information here to believe your husband. Just let it go and go on about your lives. What the two of you think is important not what others think. Good luck


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## mistyd (Jun 11, 2008)

My hubby told me the more people knowed that it bothered me that they would keep it going. I asked the girl if she had mental problems that she needed pills or locked up over. Like I told everyone, I am stand behind him no matter what but it just grates at me to think that she would do this. She has been known to do it before. Like I said, I have caught her in lies before this. I absolutely do not believe her because she can tell me nothing about him. I know him like a book. I have chalked it to stupidity and she is hardup for a man. which by the way, I did tell her that if she is hardup for a man, that they make dildos for such things. :smthumbup: 

Thanks for listening. I just needed someone elses input about the situation. Other people have told me the same thing you guys have. Thanks.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Life is too short to surround yourself with toxic people. If at all possible, I would end all contact with this woman.


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## BlueCreek (May 5, 2008)

I agree with everyone else. This woman is stressing you out and causing anxiety. Sounds like she just gets off by causing people emotional issues. By letting her affect you, your basically giving her exactly what she wants. You obviously trust your husband, which from everything I've read here is 100% the right decision, so the best thing you can do for both yourself and him is just pretend the woman doesn't exist.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

mistyd said:


> hi all,
> 
> I am new here and dont know where to start. I was told a week ago that hubby was supposed to have cheated on me. The girl in question has been caught before lying about doing things with people that really didnt happen. I have caught her in some of her lies before. Hubby had witnesses that said nothing happened and when I questioned them, everyone of them told me the same story he told me. I called the girl and told her that if she did have sex with him should would know the answers to the questions I was gonna ask her. I ask her what color underwear he had she told me white. which is lie one.
> I ask about tattooes, scars, birthmarks, etc....she just said it was dark. Now I am thinking that if I slept with a married man, I am gonna know something about him that way I could tell it if asked about it. I asked her about certain sounds he did after sex because I have been with him for 15 years and he hasnt changed the things he does after sex since I have been with him. She told me he snorted like a pig, which I have never heard him do that. He has two very distinct things he has done for 15 years and I dont know why after that long that he would change them. My gut says nothing happened, its just that it grates on my nerves to think that they are people out there that would do something like that and that there are people stupid enough to believe her. She told me that her family all believed her but you have too look at the family. It is one where the girls' grandmother told her own daughter it was alright to have sex with her father. So of course they are gonna believe it.
> ...


It seems she is looking for any attention at any cost, cut her out of your lives as much as possible.

draconis


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## mistyd (Jun 11, 2008)

Hi all,

Things are so much better here. Thanks for listening. Its something that some ppl do to cause pain and sometimes they just dont care. I have complete faith in my hubby and trust. What most ppl dont know about him is he is honest and tells me everything. That kills this other family that is backing this girl because they used to be his in-laws. He was married into the family about 17 years ago and they havent liked him since his ex-wife dumped him for another man. They tried to blame him for it but she moved another guy in while he was moving out. When we first started dating, he told me that he would always be honest with me if I was honest with him. Here we are almost 15 years later going strong and that kills his ex inlaws. 

Again, thanks so much for listening. I just somewhere to vent and someone would listen to me.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

It sounds like you have a great husband. I hope you stay with the forums to help others. You experience in a good relationship might come in handy. There is a section for successful marriages of over 10 years, I hope you add your story to the list.

draconis


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## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

Yeah, this toxic person needs to be surgically removed from your social circle.

Remember, bullies thrive on attention, and when you give it to them, they win. I know this better than most (been the victim, not the bully). Let the rumor die and she'll move on to someone more "fun".

Edit: PS, as your husband, while I'd be more than willing to reassure you to a point, I would also start to get frustrated if you had to be reminded every day that I had been faithful. If you are too uptight about this, eventually he is going to say "I might as WELL have cheated since I'm being treated as if I did".


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## mistyd (Jun 11, 2008)

I reckon that girl finally admitted that nothing happened that she just did it for something to do. She needs to tell me that though, I would think. 


Well, anyhoo, things are going good here. Hubby tells me everyday that he loves me. I dont push the subject on him because I agree with Chopblock. I have lost 10 pounds and have had a perm since this and it makes me feel so much better. Lol. Hubby cant keep his hands off of me. I also borrowed some ideas from this website about dressing, makeup, etc......lol. It has been working. Thanks so much all. Really appreciate you all taking the time to post comments and so on.


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## mistyd (Jun 11, 2008)

hi all,

Just an update. Well, I caught this girl out in public the other day and tried to talk to her. She couldnt even look at me. How can you tell when someone has lied to you about something? She looked straight ahead the whole time and couldnt sit still the whole time I was trying to talk to her. This makes me think she has made this up just for something to do although she has admitted to other people that is what she did. 

Anyhoo, on another note. I also punched her lights out for her. I couldnt get her to talk so I just socked her in the eye. Guess she will learn to speak up next time. I know, dont fight fire with fire, but dang sometimes it helps out.


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## Missy (Jul 11, 2008)

I wouldnt lend her any credibility and certainly would believe your husband in this case. Most likely she is looking to hurt you because of her own insecurities and if you stand up and take the side of your husband you will gain his respect, love, admiration, and will yeild her powerless in her claims.


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