# How do I cope?



## LilMamaSlim (May 12, 2009)

Ok, I am sure many of you have read my previous post(s) and have the general idea of what happened. H left, took everything, kids and I got kicked out on our tails, all because he can't handle me being bipolar. 

Ok, here is my question. How am I supposed to cope with HIM? I try as hard as I can and say little to him soley so he has no ammo to start an argument, but somehow he always finds a way to yell at me for something. I'd love to avoid him but he has the title to my car and he (this is recent) wants to see our 4 yr old. I asked him if he'd like to see our oldest (daughter) and he said No. So I just said, "Ok, that's fine. I'll send her to visit her gram then." Suddenly he is yelling at me about how I'm this vindictive... yea... so I hold back tears and then I'm everything else under the sun. So I walk away and he goes on and rants more. I try to smile and pretend I'm fine and then I'm heartless? His moods are worse than mine!! So.. how the hell do I deal with him? He hasn't filed for divorce yet, not sure why. I do avoid any contact but sometimes I don't have a choice... Any suggestions? Maybe what I am doing wrong?


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

You are coping...you just haven't realized it yet...

Hang in there love...you're in my prayers.

Blessed Be,
Preacher


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## Lostman (May 23, 2009)

Like preach said you are coping. You are not doing anything wrong. You are being as civil as possible. 

We all are coping with our circumstances. I know I am, with help from a good hearted person. It's going to rough for awhile. The more let the little things get to us, the harder it will be. As for my situation I've decided just not let her get me wriled up over trivial things anymore.

Just hang in there. Well if you need some to listen and talk to you know how to get ahold of me. Just click my name


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## LilMamaSlim (May 12, 2009)

Thank you, I suppose you are both spot on correct. I am coping, I just want to fast forward to the part where it isn't hard... like years ahead. I have made it a point not to call him or ask him for anything. In turn he ignores our kids, and seeing my children hurt is heart wrenching...


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## Lostman (May 23, 2009)

i think we all wish we could fast forward some part of our lives. I know i do. Youre doing good by being strong for kids, youre there voice so they could be heard for there want and needs. 
Please dont mind my typing it sucks  i know one day i will wake up in the morning and ill be ok cuz ive done healed. I know its heartwrenching. Just got to be the main support pillar for youre kids. Remeber playdough smile and do what YOU think is RIGHT.


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## LilMamaSlim (May 12, 2009)

I am doing so much better, aside from him being a royal jerk. I am happier and have come to the realization that as long as my support group (friends) are nearby, I can cope with him and his crappy attitude.


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## Lostman (May 23, 2009)

I'm glad you're happier. Wish I could the whole don't talk the other person, but can't. One thing that's gets me is that she seems so nonchalant about everything. Oh well that's her perogative.just got to be strong for myself. 
You're doing a fine job. It inspires me. Something that doesn't happen to often as of late.


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## LilMamaSlim (May 12, 2009)

Her being so "uncaring" is a sign that you need to work on you. I know this, because you have to live with yourself and your choices forever, so make them count.


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## Lostman (May 23, 2009)

As for coping with being with out the other person in my life, I was doing good. Then she came back got the boys from me. That's hard for me to cope with. I try to stay busy as possible. Just like you said LilMamaSlim if it weren't for my very small support group, I would a complete and total mess right now. All I know is that one day happiness will find me again. Just remember do what you think is right. Don't let any one tell you different.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

I came to this thread a bit late. Just remember that we're all here because we have some hurt. We are our support group, we're here for each other. 

Sometimes, you just need to vent. This is a place to do it and be supported in return. 

Lilmamaslim, just keep on doing what you're doing. Just cope, day by day. It's all we can do. And you're doing fine, so far.  

Lostman, you too. Hang in there. 

Both of you should know that you're not alone. Check some of the other threads around here. You're definately not alone! 

I don't get down here as often as I'd like because I get caught up in the top 3-6 threads. But I do try. And a word of encouragement here & there is sometimes all it takes. 

I know it's old, but one day at a time. One hour at a time if that's what it takes.


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## Lostman (May 23, 2009)

Its not old hearing those sayings. Its true. Have to take it one day at a time. One step after another. That's what I am doing.
Just have to.


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