# Conflicted mind



## needhelp66 (Apr 29, 2013)

Hi all

I posted a few months ago about my unhappy marriage. Since then my wife left for a week, came back and things have not been great since. Practically every day I have to hear my wife talk about me doing nothing in this marriage for her and that I am a different man since we married. She constantly is telling me that I don't love her and that I should stop trying to 'prove' and 'show' love as she says that's all I do.

Things have gotten so bad that I dread hearing her complaints with 20 or so txt messages at work or a full 45 minutes of rant without a break each day all talking about how I haven't done anything or that I only care about my parents (who I see once a fortnight for just a few hours and never bring them up in conversations but she does as she hasn't spoken to them since a year because of things that I acknowledge they said and did to hurt her)...

When she is ranting like this any response from me is seen as either fighting or being defensive so I have no choice but to stay quiete.....once she is done she then goes quiet and avoids me for days....when I then try and come to her and hug her or talk, the cycle starts again with her getting angry that why am I being nice when I can't stand her (she believes my frustrations of her accusations = I don't love herald want to get rid of her ) 

She constantly taunts me that the relationship is over yet does nothing to actuallyend it and taunts me further ...when I say to her that if she believes I have ruined her life and damaged her emotionally then why are you with me, her response is countered with taunts saying she knows I'm just trying to get rid of her. 

I have been to a clinical psych twice who really couldn't offer much help as my wife wasn't with me...we went to a counsellor once the day she came back home but she refused to go again after that. Any mention of counselling brings taunts to me that I'm trying to end the relationship.

It's now got to the stage where i am completely worn down by her finding issues with anything i do and i feel that beforei even have a chance of making her happy again she starts blaming snd accusing me of something else...

so in the last 2 days i have shouted back agreeing this is over. We have been married 1.5 yrs with no kids and I have renter sole bread earner paying for the new house we built together in the last year and all the bills. She has a job but aside from some furniture she has kept it all in savings and in fact iencourage her to do so.

Questions:
How much emotional abuse should i bear with as a loyal husband. Is there a line where if things don't change then seperation and divorce is the right answer EVEN THOUGH I still have v strong feelings for her such as never being able to see hercry or be sad.

In my CPU try, separating within 2 years of marriage means spouses retain what they financially put into the relationship. Am I being greedy if I tell her i want the house as I paid the entire $50k deposit for it and have been paying all the mortgage and ill payments? Am I being too shallow and material even thinking about this at this time? In one hand it would break my heart seeing her leave(and she always taunts,e thats he knows i will 'kick' her out one day )so I don't want to be that guy but on the other hand I feel that I shouldn't let go of this thateasily.....so I don't know if I should leave the house or let here run if she blames me for kicking her out in the future....


----------



## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

She's emotionally and verbally abusive.

You've only been married 1.5 years with no kids?

Easy decision.

Get out now, before the 2 years is up.

Trust me, you do not want to spend the rest of your life, or even one more year, with this toxic woman.

Good luck!


----------

