# My son took his worst friend to college....



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Dang kids...My son got involved with a not great group of friends his last year of highschool, drinking and smoking pot type of stuff. With my son going off to college I was hoping it would snap him out of his funk, you know, different kids, different enviroment. I also wouldn't let my son take his car to college just because I didn't want him to be distrtacted, a mistake I made with my daughter. 

Anyway....last evening my son comes home with one of his highschool buddies driving him, I'm kind of ticked off right away because my son has only been at college for a week and his buddy is already taking him off campus. So I says "What's going on?" My son says they are just picking up some stuff and guess what, Mark enrolled in college and since there was an extra bed in my sons room he will be living with him. 

Honestly, Mark is one of the main kids I wanted to get my son away from, and now they will be living together and of coarse Mark has his car at school so they can come and go as they please. 

I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping this doesn't end badly, but I am certainly frustrated and disappointed by this turn of events. OK, I just had to vent.


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

Unfortunately, at that age you cannot exercise the control you had when they were younger. You can only try to influence and even that can meet with lots of resistance.

You mentioned an older daughter, how is she doing? If she is making better choice and they have a decent sibling relationship, perhaps she can talk to him.

How does your wife feel about this?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Sorry, Cooper. It's tough being a parent.

At this point, you just gotta hope Mark gets on academic 
suspension or looses interest in school. Hope your son doesn't follow him there though.

Praying that your son finds a new best friend soon.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, he's in college, so that's good.

I had Bs and As all through college and partied...hard. 

Give your boy a chance. he'll do what he does. At least he didn't say he didn't want to go to school. He's an adult now.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Honestly it's a little more than just the partying that has me worried, it's my son not being very good at expanding his horizons, he has a tendency to avoid most social situations or try anything new. He recognizes that as much as I do, he try's to play it off by being "cool" but it's really about him being shy and lacking confidence. (Not my diagnoses, I have had him in family counseling, drug counseling, and he spent over a year working with a life coach) 

I was hoping going off to college would force him into situations he would normally avoid, things like meeting new people, trying some new activities and such, and sure, the education would be good for him as well. But with his high school buddy there, it makes it much easier to just wallow in the same ole same ole. 

Anyway....I know at this point the most I can do is provide opportunities and encouragement and hope for the best, his life is up to him now.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I think it is great that you realize it is up to your son now.

Some parents try to control adult children like they are toddlers and then they wonder why they are left out of their kids lives.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Your son will be who he is. I didn't expand my horizons in college...I went to a school about an hour away, drove home to my friends on weekends. Partied.

This is why I stress GOING AWAY to college to my kid. lol. AWAY. More than an hour. 

He'll be fine. Just let him do what he does.


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