# Found ugly photos of me on husband's disk



## anna2020 (Dec 3, 2020)

So when I married my husband 25 years ago I was gorgeous... people (not even friends) have told me many times I should've been a playboy model.
I was just an ordinary person. Soon became a housewife, had a child and I was naive and stupid and thought my husband loves me and he'll love me forever.
Then I started getting sick! Like VERY sick! One illness after another, multiple surgeries even ICU for 1 month! Then immune system diseases, chemo theraphy to get my immune system under control and was prescribed Prednisone (a pill that causes a person to gain. a LOT of weight).
I gained a LOT of weight. Bloomed from 116lb to 205lb at 5.5ft. ...

To cut a long story short, I've found on my husband's disk on his computer PHOTOS AND Videos taken of me when I did not even know he was taken those photos/videos!
100% of those photos/videos were taken from my back when I was fat! Some videos even taken without my head, only body. There are also a few videos of dirty dishes in sink when I was doing Chemo Theraphy and I'd come home all dressed up in jacket, boots and hat and I'd just sit on sofa and sleep dressed up.
Finding about 10-12 photos/videos made me emotionally upset. I was hurt and I was crying. WHY would he do that???? To justify his cheating on me?
Was he showing to his co-worker with whom he has sex and who's also cheating on her husband like "look how ugly my wife looks and who I married"???
Can anyone explain why would a husband take such photos/videos of me? I did not know of their existance at all! Till I found them on his computer!!!
When I asked him : "WHY did you take those photos/videos?" His reply was : "I was testing my camera in my phone". But it's a LIE! Because he only took photos/videos when I was barely walking, when I was fat (I am not 165lb) and still determined to get at least back to 130lb.... My feelings are so hurt! It's like I don't know who it is who's living with me?!?! Yes, I've contacted a lawyer. Will see this week if she'll see me.
Thanks all.


----------



## coquille (May 8, 2018)

I think you know the answers to ALL the questions you've just asked, so no need to answer them. I just want to tell you that I LOVE your last sentence! Great job and keep us posted. You'll be soooo relieved when you free yourself from your husband. He's been cheating on you, financially abusing you, and being just mean to you by keeping these photos in one folder. Best wishes to you!


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

You e been married 25 years?. Is it 25 good years? How old were these photos?
Does your husband treat you well? I’d like more info.... do you have other threads?


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Honestly, the more I read about this arrogant, abusive, gaslighting, devious, dishonest, deceitful, cheating, lying POS, the more I despise him.

Please get to your lawyer ASAP as Diamond Jim seems to be racking up debt as fast as he can get his thieving hands on it - and it's being used for his secret OTHER life.

Time to scrape this loser off your grill.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> You e been married 25 years?. Is it 25 good years? How old were these photos?
> Does your husband treat you well? I’d like more info.... do you have other threads?


Click on her name. It will take you to her profile and you can click on the discussions to find her threads. Are you new here?


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> Click on her name. It will take you to her profile and you can click on the discussions to find her threads. Are you new here?


What’s got into you lately Blondilocks? Your posts are not only helpful, but I find I’m agreeing lately? Are you ok?😂


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is really odd, I would take ugly photos and videos of him including his flaccid willy and put it in the same folder then see what happens.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I looked at your other threads.
As others have said, why live like this? You should have divorced this horrid man years ago.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Judging from what I've seen on forums for years, I'd say he was justifying why he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Cruel. Men are all about sex and pretty. Since you were especially pretty, he's probably even more of a lout with even higher expectations. First of all, delete those photos. It's horrible that he took them. I'm sorry for what you're going through. What you don't need is an entitled husband instead of a supporter through this.


----------



## anna2020 (Dec 3, 2020)

Evinrude58 said:


> You e been married 25 years?. Is it 25 good years? How old were these photos?
> Does your husband treat you well? I’d like more info.... do you have other threads?


Yes. The first 20 years were good. Or maybe he hid it so well that I didn't see red flags.... I don't know what was wrong with me. I loved him and he was nice to me (as it seemed to me) then at one point he began controlling me with finances. I was never married before, married at 21. I was young, naive and trusting. He was sweet, cared for me etc. But first red flags were noted when our child was 9 months old. I went with my child to the mall and a photographer took professional photos of our son. I was a new mom and I love my child so I could not leave the photos. I bought the photos. They weren't cheap. It was a package $85 per package of photos. I brought it home and with smile showed to my husband and at that time he just went "ape s..t" on me. He was screaming on top of his lungs why I'd spent $85 on photos of our child.... etc. I brushed it off. I was upset but I thought "he had a bad day at work and we only lived on his income" I was a housewife also very sick and endless ER visits and 4 surgeries that followed.... Then he installed a notification on his phone when the credit card was used! I have not made any purchases for myself!
I have 0 diamond rings/jewelry.
I have 0 gold things
I had 0 designer bags/purses. I could not get my nails done because he was telling me "we have no money for you to get your nails done"
But to me it was odd that when I'd buy groceries at the store and I'd spend $200 for 1 week of groceries for 3 people, he'd call me right away and he'd say : "WHY did you spend $200 on groceries"??? He'd tell me and my son that "you eat too much". Our son is almost anorexic! He's 5.10 and his weight is 128lb !! One thing if he'd say that to me, but saying that to our son...I hated him for it. 

The photos he'd taken of me were 2 years old (2019) when I was my heaviest. The photos that I found on his computer, I saw them yesterday for the very first time in my life. Not only photos but videos too!!!


----------



## anna2020 (Dec 3, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Judging from what I've seen on forums for years, I'd say he was justifying why he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Cruel. Men are all about sex and pretty. Since you were especially pretty, he's probably even more of a lout with even higher expectations. First of all, delete those photos. It's horrible that he took them. I'm sorry for what you're going through. What you don't need is an entitled husband instead of a supporter through this.


But I've asked him to leave me several times! He'd go cry/sob in bathroom with crocodile tears!! Maybe it's manipulation? He's told me several times "I don't want a divorce". But I can't take that crap anymore and enough is enough. I am afraid of loneliness and there's a chance I'd never find a partner/husband. But I've decided it will be way better for my own mental health.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

He’s cheated on you. Multiple times. You need to leave. The pictures are immaterial. The money stuff—- that’s your perspective and probably would be quite different than his. Doesn’t matter. There’s infidelity involved.
If you don’t like being controlled financially, the solution is to get a job. 
Sometimes a relationship just needs to end.
Based on what I’ve seen in your other threads, this one does.


----------



## anna2020 (Dec 3, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> This is really odd, I would take ugly photos and videos of him including his flaccid willy and put it in the same folder then see what happens.


😆Talk to my friend today. She said exact same thing  Thanks  I can't put those photos the ones I'd take into that folder because he protects his Google drive/Google account with a passcode. Every time I try to login to his account, he gets a notification on his phone to use a pin code...


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

anna2020 said:


> 😆Talk to my friend today. She said exact same thing  Thanks  I can't put those photos the ones I'd take into that folder because he protects his Google drive/Google account with a passcode. Every time I try to login to his account, he gets a notification on his phone to use a pin code...


Damn it lol

Well as plan B you can always leave it around on a shared folder, the point is for him to have a taste of his own medicine!


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

anna2020 said:


> But I've asked him to leave me several times! He'd go cry/sob in bathroom with crocodile tears!! Maybe it's manipulation? He's told me several times "I don't want a divorce". But I can't take that crap anymore and enough is enough. I am afraid of loneliness and there's a chance I'd never find a partner/husband. But I've decided it will be way better for my own mental health.


Has that happened since you put on weight and have health issues or only before? If it's happened since, then it's time to ream him about the photos and tell him your suspicions on why he took them -- and delete them. I'm so sorry he's causing you stress right when you do NOT need it. 

Does he have any financial reason why he doesn't want a divorce? And also, if this has been since your diagnosis, does he have a life insurance on you so that he'd need to be married if and when you'd die to collect? I would terminate that and put kids names only on it if so.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@anna2020 You could report his Google Drive account to Google because it contains those images.

Visit Google Drive Community and ask for help and advice there.


----------



## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Why don’t YOU file to divorce him?
What he’s done to you is just plain wrong!
Divorce him! Your life will be better off without him controlling every area of your life.
File for child support a d spousal support!
You’ll be better off without him. He’s despicable.


----------



## anna2020 (Dec 3, 2020)

Beach123 said:


> Why don’t YOU file to divorce him?
> What he’s done to you is just plain wrong!
> Divorce him! Your life will be better off without him controlling every area of your life.
> File for child support a d spousal support!
> You’ll be better off without him. He’s despicable.


Already filed


----------



## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

anna2020 said:


> Already filed


You could have told us this important info.
When did you file? When is it final?


----------



## anna2020 (Dec 3, 2020)

Beach123 said:


> You could have told us this important info.
> When did you file? When is it final?


I did file. I'd rather not say. He might be visiting this forum. He's been logging to my computer, reading my emails and logging into my phone when I go to bed.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Passwords are your friend.


----------



## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Really? Don’t you understand he is going to know you filed? 

He will be served… and he will know then.

Do you plan to move before he is served?


----------



## anna2020 (Dec 3, 2020)

Beach123 said:


> Really? Don’t you understand he is going to know you filed?
> 
> He will be served… and he will know then.
> 
> Do you plan to move before he is served?


No, I don't have the money to move out. I've been a stay at home mother who's been caring for her child. When I'd get any money, he'd take it away by saying "money to pay the bills". Right now I have some money so I hired an attorney (paid her but didn't sign the contract yet). Then I spent my last $3000 on my son's dental work. My husband said "he doesn't have any money for our son's dental visits"


----------



## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

I’d hurry and get a job if I were you. Keep all earned money separate - save to move ASAP.


----------

