# Public displays of affection.



## Machjo (Feb 2, 2018)

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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

Machjo said:


> My wife and I will take one another's hand in public but that's where we both draw the line. In her case, it's cultural: most Chinese don't embrace in public for example. In my case, it's personal: French Canadians will hug and kiss at least next to the cheek, but I personally feel uncomfortable with that even with my wife in public. My past probably plays a role in this.
> 
> In our case, we're quite happy with only taking one another's hand in public, but I was wondering how this might be different in different cultures. Where do your boundaries lie with regards to public displays of affection with your spouse and how does that conform to or diverge from the norm in your community?


I don’t think there really is a norm in or community... I guess most people don’t full on makeout in public (except teenagers) but other than that I don’t really notice. I’d say that my husband and I are more affectionate in public than other long married couples. We often get accused of being newlyweds. The funniest thing about that is that we have 3 kids...so I always get a little offended by that assumption. 

Anyway, it usually depends on where we are and who we are with. With our kids at church or the grocery store there will normally be hand holding, little pecks on the lips, and some leaning on each other. 
Without our kids in public (but not church lol) we are normally a little more hands on. Not full on making out but he’ll place his hand really low on my back (top of butt) and we are usually leaning into each other to talk and laugh intimately. There’s usually some light suggestive looks and touches that we always think is just between us but I’m sure strangers have been grossed out before by it.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*As a Southern Texan gentleman, I simply love PDA's!

And any woman whom I "cotton-up" to had better like them, too, as not doing so is a consummate deal-breaker with yours truly!*


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## Um Excuse Me (Feb 3, 2018)

arbitrator said:


> *As a Southern Texan gentleman, I simply love PDA's!
> 
> And any woman whom I "cotton-up" to had better like them, too, as not doing so is a consummate deal-breaker with yours truly!*


Would that be considered a type of rodeo foreplay? :toast:


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm Southern, and we're huggers. So, I hug - and may also kiss on the cheek - not only my SO, but friends, relatives, and acquaintances in public. My SO was raised in the Northeastern US, so it's culturally a bit different. They're less casually affectionate in public, and his family doesn't hug as far as I can tell, but he's getting used to my habits. When we're in public, he will put his arm around me or a hand on my back, and we hold hands and will exchange hugs or a quick kiss on the cheek or lips. But that's about it as far as public displays of affection go, and it works for both of us. 

Although, I do sometimes delight to find myself pulled into a closet, behind vegetation, around a corner, or into an elevator for a more thorough and private kiss when we're out and about.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I almost always hold Mary’s hand. She walks me out to the car every day and we kiss goodbye outside the car. I try not to sweep her off her feet, but sometimes I do. I can’t reach her butt, she’s too short, but I wouldn’t anyway. She runs up to hug me and kiss me every time she sees me when I come home from work, no matter where or who is around.

We are way outside the norm for the Hudson Valley in New York State, for sure. Mary points out any other couples holding hands, and it’s rare. As far as kissing outside, we’ve only seen one other couple do that since we moved here seven years ago. But we aren’t in The City.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Machjo said:


> My wife and I will take one another's hand in public but that's where we both draw the line. In her case, it's cultural: most Chinese don't embrace in public for example. In my case, it's personal: French Canadians will hug and kiss at least next to the cheek, but I personally feel uncomfortable with that even with my wife in public. My past probably plays a role in this.
> 
> In our case, we're quite happy with only taking one another's hand in public, but I was wondering how this might be different in different cultures. Where do your boundaries lie with regards to public displays of affection with your spouse and how does that conform to or diverge from the norm in your community?


I am British and my husband is Australian. We live in the UK. 
We are similar to you, we always hold hands, may occasionally give each other a quick kiss, he may sometimes put his arm round me, that's about it in public. That's more or less the norm here(although not that many couples will hold hands as much as we do come to think of it, especially at our age!) 

I will hug female friends and also hug/kiss close family members.


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## Um Excuse Me (Feb 3, 2018)

I'm not a touchy feely kind of guy with anyone but my wife. In fact, there are only three people allowed to hug me; my wife, daughter #1, and daughter #2. As for PDA's, my wife and I will occasionally hold hands in public; dinner, shopping, bar, etc. That's my limit as far as I'm concerned. No need for tonsil hockey in public, that's for sure.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I grope my W rear in public all the time. Don't care who knows it either.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I don't have any fundamental objection to PDAs, but keep in mind the people stuck in sexless marriages. I feel both happy and a stab of pain when I see an affectionate couple. 





I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

uhtred said:


> I don't have any fundamental objection to PDAs, but keep in mind the people stuck in sexless marriages. I feel both happy and a stab of pain when I see an affectionate couple.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I shall point this out to my wife.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

I feel bad for starving people but it doesn't stop me from eating lunch in the park.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

My girlfriend and I always try to meet for lunch in a restaurant or cafe and we always hug when we meet.
How about this for a public display of affection.A certain young lady of my acquaintance actually applauds and laughs with delight when she sees me.
She’s only ten months old though and she’s my daughter.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

uhtred said:


> I don't have any fundamental objection to PDAs, but keep in mind the people stuck in sexless marriages. I feel both happy and a stab of pain when I see an affectionate couple.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Agreed, and for those who are single. 

I do try and think of others before I act. Its not all about us is it. :smile2:


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> I feel bad for starving people but it doesn't stop me from eating lunch in the park.


The staving people arent having to see you eating in the park.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> The staving people arent having to see you eating in the park.


They are if I am on my work lunch break, and they walk up in front of me with their cardboard sign. 

And by PDA's I assume the OP is referring to hugging, kissing, being affectionate. If anyone has an issue with affection then they are the ones with the issues. If OP was talking about downright groping and heavy petting then yes, I would find it inappropriate.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> They are if I am on my work lunch break, and they walk up in front of me with their cardboard sign.
> 
> And by PDA's I assume the OP is referring to hugging, kissing, being affectionate. If anyone has an issue with affection then they are the ones with the issues. If OP was talking about downright groping and heavy petting then yes, I would find it inappropriate.


I would agree with you on the issue of groping and heavy petting.There is a time and a place for that.
A colleague of mine always told his wife he loved her when they called each other during working hours,there could be twenty guys in the lab but he didn’t care.He told me that he had went out one morning to get cigarettes and got mugged and the mugger stabbed him,he was badly injured and for over two years he was in and out of hospital with complications arising from the stabbing.He said when he was stabbed the first thing went through his mind was if he died, he hadn’t told his wife he loved her that day and he swore to God if he survived he would never miss an opportunity to tell her again.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife is not sympathetic towards observers.

She points to the example here regarding food, but knew it would fall easily.

If someone is hungry one can share, or take them to a store and buy food for them. Both of which we have done. 

People do not offer to fulfill the desires invoked by PDA.

Mary countered with the example of Christmas decorations and suicide rates. I contend that happiness is the most easily shared commodity and one thing which should be shared most regardless of people’s disinterest in accepting it.

Mary said consider children playing in a playground and the childless couple.

Currently she has me stumped.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

uhtred said:


> I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
> I have to turn my head until my darkness goes



:smthumbup:


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

We'll kiss, hug, hold hands, have arms around each other, sometimes get in a quick butt grope, maybe a really brief ear nibble, but that's as far as it goes.

I'm sure people in sexless marriages have seen us. Hopefully, seeing long marrieds passionate about each other shows them that it is possible to have a loving and sexually fulfilling relationship in marriage.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

For the most part my wife and I frequently hold hands. Or she puts her arm through mine if I have a hand in my pocket while walking around. Or she holds me close with both hands on one of my arms.

I will also sometimes squeeze her backside and hold on for a little while afterwards. We will also sometimes stop and kiss while out and about as well, yet it's more of a brief kiss on the lips than a prolonged activity.

All of the above is pretty normal for some other couples we see in passing. Although as is usual you see a range of things, from little to no affection at all, to more overt activity depending upon who, when and where.

Less frequently we also sometimes kiss more passionately, in one of our cars before getting out at a car park. Or if there's no one nearby and we're walking around, we will kiss more passionately on some occasions as well.

Also if there's nobody around at all in a public place, or if we more generally have some privacy for a time. My wife will sometimes flash me her boobs or show me she hasn't got any knickers on etc.


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