# What makes a guy go from hot to cold??



## sarah1971 (Jul 2, 2008)

If you started dating a guy who could not see you enough the first month. Sent you multible text/e-mails daliy talking about all the cool trips/stuff he wanted to do with you. Was attracted to you and told you how much in common you had with him. Cooked you dinner, did cool things with you, brought you around his kids etc.

Then the 2nd month hits and he was like a light switch. The e-mails slowly disappeared, phone calls to just chat stopped, my calls to him went to VM and would be returned hours later with just a texted no return call. He all of a sudden became real "busy" with his kids,work other friends. I was no longer asked to tag along when he went to do errends. We went from seeing each other 2-3 times durning the work week and all weekend to late wenesday night(after 9pm) to just Sunday afternoon for a few hours.

What the hell happened?! I asked him a number of times if it was me and he always said no. We never had a big fight and I don't thing I did anything to turn him off. So what happened?? 

So I guess what I'm asking since I'm no getting a honest anwser from him what do you think is going on?

Oh we did have a talk about being exclusive and he agreed.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Hot for a month and then cold? What was he doing in the months prior to meeting you? I'm wondering if he found you during a temporary lull in a preexisting relationship and then his significant other came back into his life. This especially makes sense if he regularly sees you only late Wednesday nights and late Sunday evenings. He might have a convenient alibi to explain his brief absence to his significant other during those periods. A guy in a relationship could sneak out for a few hours easily enough, but being gone all day or all weekend would be hard to explain.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

There could be several explanations. I know when my boyfriend and I first got together, we spent tons of time together and on the phone. I have kids, though, and so I couldn't do that forever. I decided that we were compatible enough, in love enough, and working our way towards more and more serious commitments, and therefore introduced him to my kids so that we could all spend time together. I only did that because I saw us having a future together. Had I not seen a future, I would have cut off the relationship or at least...well, done what this guy is doing. 

Dating someone with kids is very complicated. There are a lot of things to consider with kids. But even with all the complications, if he wanted to spend time with you, he'd figure out a way to do so. 

I can't say if he's got someone else or not. But whether there's someone else or something else, I'd say that if you're not happy with how it's going, tell him so and if he can't/won't change it, then you need to decide if you can live with it or if you want out.


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## jitterbug (Feb 13, 2010)

He might be a CP---a commitment -phobe.

I had a number of experiences like that while dating in my 20's.
Same timetable, even---2 months would bring about a drastic change in temperature.

I think part of it's the initial flush wearing off, and reality setting in---and all of a sudden , one party or the other is thinking to themselves, "Holy cow---what I'm I getting into? This is real.......Am I ready for this---Do I want this----Are we truly compatible---' etc.,etc.,etc.

I think it's actually normal to back off a little bit---others might disagree with me---but I believe taking the time to step back, and evaluate one's feelings, is healthy. That could be what he's doing.

I would talk to him about it in a straightforward manner, and pay attention to how he communicates with you.

I would also keep my guard up to an extent---try not to fall into a pattern of chasing him, or always being available according to his scheduling needs---your needs matter, too.

There's also a personality type that's addicted to romance--the kind of high that you get in those first couple of months..............Those types have a tendency to be very intense right out of the gate, and fizzle out once the newness wears off...........They burn bright and fast, instead of slow and steady.

You won't know until you've known him longer, and know more of his history.


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