# an amazing choice



## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

My fiance has been struggling with over the years with addictions i.e. smoking, gambling, or porn addiction. 

Last time, I caught him with the cigarettes lying around and at first my initial reaction was to take it and run with it and then throw it away, but I stopped myself. Instead I left it there and then the next day. I asked him, did you smoke? He said no. I said I left your cigarettes there. 

And he responds with, "I realized I have a choice in this."


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

they say Smoking is the second hardest addiction, with heroin being the first. He will relapse, instead of getting mad, help him break through it. He mad a good choice, now you should celebrate it with him. Take him out for dinner and show you appreciate his hard work and dedication to trying to kick a very difficult addiction


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

oceanbreeze said:


> My fiance has been struggling with over the years with addictions i.e. smoking, gambling, or porn addiction.
> 
> Last time, I caught him with the cigarettes lying around and at first my initial reaction was to take it and run with it and then throw it away, but I stopped myself. Instead I left it there and then the next day. I asked him, did you smoke? He said no. I said I left your cigarettes there.
> 
> And he responds with, "I realized I have a choice in this."


sounds like you both are learning and handling things better. its hard to let an addict make a choice by not controlling their environment, but good for you for letting go.


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

Oh boy! Yesterday I saw him and he did smoke. I guess it was harder than I thought, but I dont think I can do anything, other than really leave it up to him. I do tell him that when we are to be married, he is taking away from the family i.e. his life, predisposition to various smoke-related cancers, and when we plan to have a life insurance...things like that. He said he knows, but I couldnt be angry since this is obviously out of my hands and he does it at work and I can not strain my energy to keep him on tabs. We each have to live our own lives individually and together.


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

oceanbreeze said:


> Oh boy! Yesterday I saw him and he did smoke. I guess it was harder than I thought, but I dont think I can do anything, other than really leave it up to him. I do tell him that when we are to be married, he is taking away from the family i.e. his life, predisposition to various smoke-related cancers, and when we plan to have a life insurance...things like that. He said he knows, but I couldnt be angry since this is obviously out of my hands and he does it at work and I can not strain my energy to keep him on tabs. We each have to live our own lives individually and together.


I stopped smoking last year for about 6 months. My wife and I were having a tough time and were arguing. I stopped and looked everywhere for a single cigarette, offering strangers money for just one. I broke down and bought a pack. I hid that from my wife for about 2 months, and would only smoke periodically. I finally sat her down and came clean. I was disappointed in myself and ashamed. I am still smoking, and would love to stop. Unless you have smoked and been addicted to it, it is very hard for you to understand the power it can have over you.


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

Yes I have just talked to him and now it's up to 4 cigarettes a day, 5 times a week during the job (when he has breaks). So I discussed with him that perhaps the job of a utility driver is not for him. If he feels this stressed to smoke so much, that maybe this isnt the right path for him. He does have an Associates Degree and might as well put it to use and be less stressed. But he is a stubborn guy and will do what he pleases anyways, so I am not sure if there is any use in bargaining with him or showing him another option.


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