# Cheating Husband got caught 2times, dont know what to do I got 3children



## mse78 (Dec 6, 2010)

I need some advice, I dont want to let my family know whats going on. 
The first time he cheated, I forgave right away. I was only a few wks pregnant with our 3child.
It hurt me/us for more than 3yrs,It took me cheating on him, to put it behind me(he didnt find out about me).I tried to trust him, and put a blind fold over my eyes. He work(s) long hrs and is in different cities all the times,so its always hard. Last night, I was working on my laptop, and open a download it was a picture of him and another girl, He denies everything, the thing, he dont remember her name,where it was, says it was long ago, that it was just some girl that ask for a picture with him. The this is that I dont know what to do, I dont want to hurt my children. I want him out of my life, I dont believe in him no more. He denied it the first time, made excuses/lies about it.But I would be hurting who I most love by this(my kids) and on christmas time. What do I do? I love him but i want him far from me?


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## Frost (Aug 2, 2010)

Why wouldn't he cheat? You excused his behavior so quickly. The only consequence was that you cheated too...but he doesn't even know it! This is far from a healthy relationship on either side.

If you want to do what is best for your kids, get out and find a stable healthy relationship or go without one. Children learn from the examples set by their parents and neither of you are providing a good lesson right now. Sometimes the emotional hurt from leaving a failed relationship is better than the long term damage from staying in one that will never work.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Frost said:


> Why wouldn't he cheat? You excused his behavior so quickly. The only consequence was that you cheated too...but he doesn't even know it! This is far from a healthy relationship on either side.
> 
> If you want to do what is best for your kids, get out and find a stable healthy relationship or go without one. *Children learn from the examples set by their parents and neither of you are providing a good lesson right now. *Sometimes the emotional hurt from leaving a failed relationship is better than the long term damage from staying in one that will never work.


:iagree:

By staying "for the kids" you are showing your daughter(s) how to be a doormat, and your son(s) how to mistreat women and get away with it. Sure, they may not grasp entirely whats going on, but they will soon, they'll realize the tension in the household, i did by the time i was 4 years old. You cheating for revenge... how'd that work for ya? All you did was make yourself feel better without addressing the problem which is him. Yesterday was the best day you should of left him, now it is today. Don't let the holidays be the exscuse.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I agree with Rob, as usual. BUT for the part about the holidays. I see no reason not to wait until after the holidays. I don't know what your financial situation is. You may need to formulate some kind of plan to get out...

OR you can lay it out there for him and see if he wants to really make it work.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I was with my ex-husband for about 18 years. We have 4 children. He cheated on me many times throughout our relationship. I would always forgive him and take him back. 

When I told him I wanted a divorce, he couldn't accept it. He was so used to me forgiving him, that he couldn't even comprehend the fact that I was done. He even said "You forgave me every other time. You're supposed to forgive me now." He figured it would be like it had been before. He'd have to swollow his pride, eat some crow, treat me really well for a while....rinse....repeat.

Only you know if you'e truely "done". You need to decide what you will and will not put up with. You need to decide what is best for your kids and yourself. Divorce is hard, and can get really ugly. My divorce was a year and a half of hell. For me it was worth it. Although things were rocky with the kids for a while, my relationship with them is 100 times better now.

My best advice to you is not to take this decision lightly. Don't make a decision based solely on your emotions at the moment, because sometimes they change. Really think this through. 

My best wishes to you.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You know, this happens to me all the time. I'm just out somewhere and some babe just comes up and asks me to be photographed with her! For some unexplained reason, these photos then just mysteriously appear on my home computer without my knowledge or involvement! Why do such bad things keep happening to completely innocent people?


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I agree with Frost as well. IF you truly want out. I'm hoping you've thought this through carefully and are making an informed decision, and not just reacting to an emotion. I would wait until after the holidays as well. There is no reason to ruin the holidays for your kids. And if this is in reaction to a recent event...then you won't be doing something you might later regret. It's hard for the kids if you leave, go back to him, leave..go back to him. That rollercoaster really messes with the kids. 

I would take my 15min consultation with a divorce attorney. See what options are open to you. How much $$ you'll need to file.


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## mse78 (Dec 6, 2010)

Thank you all for your advice and comments.

I did tell him to leave, but the pain of seeing my children cry and suffer.
Made me call him and told him to come back, he is going to spend the this month here.
In a spare bedroom, and talk to the children. Get them to understand, that we(me and him) are separating not them.

I might seem week, for my children I would do anything. He is a good father,provider And that is worth more than me.Dont get me wrong, I come from a broken home. With a stepfather, that made my youth a living hell. I would never, ever want that for them. 

Thank you again


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## pinkprincess (Jun 10, 2008)

Rob774 said:


> :iagree:
> 
> By staying "for the kids" you are showing your daughter(s) how to be a doormat, and your son(s) how to mistreat women and get away with it. .


I completly agree....this is bang on


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