# 16 Ways I Blew My Marriage



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Funny and insightful blog on things you shouldn't do to screw up your marriage. It's written by a twice-divorced man, but I think the advice applies to both men and women. 

16 Ways I Blew My Marriage


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

Love it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Can you copy/paste the 16 reasons.

I clicked on the link and it completely shut my computer down.


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

Shouldn't #10 actually be #2


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Thanks, CG. And lol to your question!

It's pretty long, but here you go:



> You know what blows big time?
> The other night I was sitting with my family, most of whom are very successfully married. We were going in a circle giving our best marriage advice to my little sister on the eve of her wedding. It’s somewhat of a family tradition.
> 
> But that’s not what blows. What really blows is that I realized I don’t have any good marriage advice to give. After all, I’ve never had a successful marriage out of the two marriages I did have.
> ...


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

OMG -----hahahahaha. 

We both posted then deleted...hahahahaha.

You re-post as yours looked better than mine.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

And yet there's the easy marriage saving guide

"16 ways I blew my spouse".


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I like the list! It's pretty humorous. 

Do couples really "do" #10? Eww. We've never done and wouldn't. That seems like a no-brainer.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

We've talked about #10, agreed it's the final frontier.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Thanks-It made my day!

Now I know that I'm not such a jerk after all. Hmmm...the W will be home in a little while. When she comes home from her lunchlady job, I'll give her a big hug and ask her when was the last time I told her she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen... hair net, greasy shoes, burned corn-dog smell and all!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Thanks for posting, Nora.

Loved these!!!

_IF I COULD HAVE A DO-OVER: I’d hold her hand in the car. I’d hold her hand on a star. I’d hold her hand in a box. I’d hold her hand with a fox. And I’d hold her hand everywhere else, too, even when we didn’t particularly like each other for the moment.

BONUS! When you hold hands in the winter, they don’t get cold. True story.

BONUS! candlelit dinners often lead to candlelit bow chica bow-wow._

My exH was the king of #16. I can say that one of the major reasons we split.

Great list. This guy has learned a lot.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

The only one I disagree with somewhat is #8. I think showing your kids that fighting is part of marriage helps them down the road. My wife's parents never fought, so she had a hard time accepting that our fighting was normal.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Loved it! 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

My parents never fought in front of us. They always presented a united front and they discussed their issues behind closed doors. I appreciate that. I was a sensitive, anxiety prone child and I think if I saw them argue in front of me, I would have needlessly worried myself about the state of their marriage.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

CanadianGuy said:


> Shouldn't #10 actually be #2


Guilty... I pretty much follow the 16, except 10... but that is both of us are guilty of that... TMI, gulp.


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

I'd agree with all of it except holding in the farts. I mean, come on, there has to be some "relief" in marriage.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> My parents never fought in front of us. They always presented a united front and they discussed their issues behind closed doors. I appreciate that. I was a sensitive, anxiety prone child and I think if I saw them argue in front of me, I would have needlessly worried myself about the state of their marriage.


I couldn't agree more.

My parents never fought in front of us 6 children. My Father was the calmest (& smartest) man I have ever known. My childhood was hard (money issues, depressed Mother) but we all felt "safe" around our parents.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Emerald said:


> I couldn't agree more.
> 
> My parents never fought in front of us 6 children. My Father was the calmest (& smartest) man I have ever known. My childhood was hard (money issues, depressed Mother) but we all felt "safe" around our parents.


My parents fought, but I never consider it unsafe to be around them. I did learn that when I got married, it was normal to have disagreements and be mad at my spouse. My wife did not pick that up, and was very upset when we got ticked at each other. It took her awhile to realize that just because we love each other does not mean we won't fight.

I should note that I am not a big fan of hiding much from my kids. As they get older, they know as approrpriate we are sexual with each other (we kiss in front of them), they know about money, they know that the world is crappy. I am teaching them about how the world actually is, not just about the nice stuff.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

The one that rang true for me is #12 - don't stop having fun together, which is really a reminder to go out more often rather than staying in all the time.

With job and other demands, it's so easy to just get comfy at home. But I find that when we do make the time to go out, whether it's to hear a band at a small club or to a friend's party or away for the weekend in the summers, it's really refreshing and adds something to the relationship.

I need to remember to be less lazy!


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Thank you, norajane.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Tall Average Guy said:


> My parents fought, but I never consider it unsafe to be around them. I did learn that when I got married, it was normal to have disagreements and be mad at my spouse. My wife did not pick that up, and was very upset when we got ticked at each other. It took her awhile to realize that just because we love each other does not mean we won't fight.
> 
> I should note that I am not a big fan of hiding much from my kids. As they get older, they know as approrpriate we are sexual with each other (we kiss in front of them), they know about money, they know that the world is crappy. I am teaching them about how the world actually is, not just about the nice stuff.


Agree that disagreements are normal. My parents had many disagreements raising 5 boys & 1 girl - me 

They pulled a united front in front of the children. There was no yelling, screaming, name calling, verbal & emotional abuse.

I feel very blessed & not sheltered in the least.

I raised 2 girls. My exH thought nothing about fighting in front of them & it damaged them. Thankfully, they had 1 calm, peaceful parent (me) to moderate family life & they are both doing great.

We will simply have to agree to disagree TAG about fighting in front of children.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Emerald said:


> Agree that disagreements are normal. My parents had many disagreements raising 5 boys & 1 girl - me
> 
> They pulled a united front in front of the children. There was no yelling, screaming, name calling, verbal & emotional abuse.
> 
> ...


Fair enough. I do suspect it has to do with what you mean by fighting. My parents never screamed, called each other names or were abusive (emotionally or physically) but there were voices raised, sometime loudly. But never for long, and they quickly addressed it. It was not comfortable, but they showed me how to truly forgive and more past their disagreements, rather than letting them fester. 

I certainly preferred it over my friends parents, who would often not speak to each other, even when I was had been invited over, yet according to my friend never yelled at each other.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I like that! So true too!


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