# Vacations without your spouse.



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

What are your thoughts about vacationing without your spouse? This is something my husband and I have done, but we also vacation together. 

For instance, my husband will take a 10 night trip with his cousin to Cold Bay Alaska. His cousin owns property and two cabins, he usues frequent flyer miles to fly my husband every other year to every year. Who could pass up a chance for a trip? He brings back 40lbs of fresh wild salmon. Some the smoke(my favorite) and the rest raw. I've been begging for crab, but they only brought that once years ago.

For me, I went for a long weekend to meet my best friend/and her daughter I met online. It was a long girls weekend. I felt I deserved a weekend away and we stayed on the Queen Mary. That was a blast! She moved to Forida and I'm planning on another trip to see her next year. We have so many frequent flyer miles that need to be used. I will pick an ocean side room and we will hang out on the beach for the weekend, she will stay with me and pay half the room cost. Since I can't walk far, I thought this would be great. I absolutely love the gulf side of the ocean. 

How about you? Do you take trips without your spouse? What are your thoughts on this?

My hubby and I have taken the kids to Disney twice and a trip out west to Idaho 2 years ago when hubby ran the ironman. We also went to Hawaii without the kids, which I wouldn't mind going back. We do take trips together. Right now we have 5 or 6 round trip frequent flyer mile points.
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## SimplyAmorous

I wouldn't have a problem with my husband taking a trip without me or him allowing me to do something with the Girls for a few nights- if I wanted too. But neither of us have, we both say we would miss each other too much. 

All of my girl friends know I would rather be with my husband, so they don't even ask me... they used to get mad at me when we were teens, cause I never wanted to go out with them anymore after I found him, or I wanted to bring him along! 

The longest he has been away from me while married was a little over a week on some training in another state for his job. So exciting when he gets home!! 

We have always taken Family vacations from when our oldest was just a baby - but we only started taking vacations alone (no kids allowed!) just 3 yrs ago, I am so mad at myself for not doing this throughout our marriage. Those have been some of the greatest memories we've ever had together. 

What was I thinking to not take the time -for just US ! I just never made it a priority, I did have friends who would have happily babysat for me, so no excuses really. Now my oldest does it ! He is home from College till mid Jan, I have a window of opportunity, I think we need to plan something !


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## Halien

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> What are your thoughts about vacationing without your spouse? This is something my husband and I have done, but we also vacation together.
> 
> For instance, my husband will take a 10 night trip with his cousin to Cold Bay Alaska. His cousin owns property and two cabins, he usues frequent flyer miles to fly my husband every other year to every year. Who could pass up a chance for a trip? He brings back 40lbs of fresh wild salmon. Some the smoke(my favorite) and the rest raw. I've been begging for crab, but they only brought that once years ago.
> 
> For me, I went for a long weekend to meet my best friend/and her daughter I met online. It was a long girls weekend. I felt I deserved a weekend away and we stayed on the Queen Mary. That was a blast! She moved to Forida and I'm planning on another trip to see her next year. We have so many frequent flyer miles that need to be used. I will pick an ocean side room and we will hang out on the beach for the weekend, she will stay with me and pay half the room cost. Since I can't walk far, I thought this would be great. I absolutely love the gulf side of the ocean.
> 
> How about you? Do you take trips without your spouse? What are your thoughts on this?
> 
> My hubby and I have taken the kids to Disney twice and a trip out west to Idaho 2 years ago when hubby ran the ironman. We also went to Hawaii without the kids, which I wouldn't mind going back. We do take trips together. Right now we have 5 or 6 round trip frequent flyer mile points.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow. Some of your vacation destinations are almost identical to mine. You wouldn't happen to be the nice lady who helped me with two small children about 12 years ago at Disney, would you? (just kidding - I see that you went with your husband!) In the past, I went to Disney and Idaho alone with the kids largely because my wife suffers from frequent migraines, and hectic schedules used to kick off new ones. Always seemed like the single mothers would sometimes take pity on me and help me out if I got in over my head. But then camping trips came in 'for the boys' in later years. She goes alone to asia every year to visit a relative on a work assignment.

Recently, though, seperate vacations have crossed into an area where I'm not as comfortable with. My wife struggles with keeping in shape, so she wants to avoid the beach or hiking trips. She cancelled at the last minute for a beach trip with the nearly adult kids, so I refused to go alone and lost a couple of thousand dollars. We had always planned to go to the carribean on our 25th anniversary, but I doubt this will happen. My point in this is that if they are postive trips, without threatening the other spouse, then I think they are okay as long as they are balanced with together trips. Now, I get six weeks of vacation, and my wife can take off of work anytime as long as she plans it in advance. But we don't go to places alone where temptation could be a problem.


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## LuvMyH

I took several with my sisters during a time when my husband and I were disconnected. I couldn't get him to go anywhere and I love getaways. Going away once a year is very important to me and I wasn't going to let him being a wet blanket stop me from going. It certainly didn't help our marriage. He resented me for going. I resented him for not going. Of course, there were a lot of other issues going on at the time, so seperate vacations wasn't the cause of problems. They were a symptom.

I'm happy to say that we vacation together, since we've reconnected. My husband has to be nudged a little sometimes, but once we start planning and making reservations, he gets as excited as me. I don't think I would vacation without him again. I cherish the closeness we feel when we go away together.

I do know lots of people take girl's or guy's trips and I think that's fine. It's just not something I want for us at this time or maybe ever again. It would just remind me of a bad time during our marriage and I would miss him too much.
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## that_girl

I have taken two vacations without Hubs...simply because he couldn't get 10 days off.

We (my girls and I) have gone to Oregon to visit and stay with my best friend and her family for the past two summers now  Hubs and I want to move there....so this summer he's coming with.

Hubs has gone on some weekend things without me...he can never get a lot of days off in a row and if he did, I know he and I would plan a trip.


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## Mistys dad

I take a lot of vacations alone.

Love long solo motorcycle trips.

I take 3-4 a year without her, or anybody for that matter.

This year we both rode to South Dakota for the rally. She went alone one way, I went alone another. We met out there and rode for a couple more days. Spent a week at the rally, then split up and we rode seperate ways home.


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## greenpearl

SimplyAmorous said:


> I wouldn't have a problem with my husband taking a trip without me or him allowing me to do something with the Girls for a few nights- if I wanted too. But neither of us have, we both say we would miss each other too much.
> 
> All of my girl friends know I would rather be with my husband, so they don't even ask me... they used to get mad at me when we were teens, cause I never wanted to go out with them anymore after I found him, or I wanted to bring him along!
> 
> The longest he has been away from me while married was a little over a week on some training in another state for his job. So exciting when he gets home!!
> 
> We have always taken Family vacations from when our oldest was just a baby - but we only started taking vacations alone (no kids allowed!) just 3 yrs ago, I am so mad at myself for not doing this throughout our marriage. Those have been some of the greatest memories we've ever had together.
> 
> What was I thinking to not take the time -for just US ! I just never made it a priority, I did have friends who would have happily babysat for me, so no excuses really. Now my oldest does it ! He is home from College till mid Jan, I have a window of opportunity, I think we need to plan something !


We are the same. 

Just can't stand the thinking of him being away from me. 

We both live away from our countries, flying back home is expensive, but my husband and I have decided that we will not take trips separately. We visit our families every second year, rotate between Canada and China. 

We have been together for 8 years, and we haven't been away from each other for a single day. My husband tells his relatives that wherever he goes, I go with him, he won't leave me behind. He doesn't plan time alone with his friends or family. I don't do it either.


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## tacoma

We`ve never vacationed separately.

It would take some pretty odd circumstances for such a thing to come to pass.

I can`t think of any.


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## FrankKissel

I go on a week-long fishing trip with buddies to the Canadian wilderness every year. Wife doesn't go, nor would she ever want to. And she goes away to scrapbook (yep, that's her thing) for a couple of weekends a year.
I miss her, she misses me, but it's good for both of us to get away for a bit.
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## heartsbeating

I have just a few times. 

The first was when an opportunity came up to join one of my closest friends overseas. This was a few years ago. Hubs said if I didn't go, it might be one of those moments in life that I might regret. I hadn't traveled alone before. My friend (also married) had arrived ahead of me. She lives in a different state anyway, and we'd arranged to meet at our destination. I remember crying my eyes out at the airport saying goodbye to him lol but once I'd made my first flight switch, the excitement and awareness of what I was doing kicked in. When he heard about how I managed with switching flights and being in different cities, I felt he was proud of me - as I was of myself. This wouldn't be such a big deal to me now but at the time, I felt really great. He wasn't there for me to rely on, this was down to me. When I arrived home, he sensed the confidence boost it had given me. 

Since then, I've only done two short trips without hubs. One was to see that same girlfriend - just visited her in her home town for about a week. She is married with a family. The other trip was to see another dear friend who also lives in another state. We met up in a city that's in between the two of us just for the weekend. We hope to do this again when time and money permits. We spent all afternoon at a cafe just talking, then shared cups of tea in our pyjamas (still talking!) into the early hours of the morning in our hotel room and hit a day spa the next day. It was fantastic.

I wouldn't do a big trip without him again. We enjoy sharing those experiences with each other.


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## sharonND

We haven't ever taken a vacation without each other and I never would. I dont know how other people do it because for us, vacation is a time for lots of sex and relaxation and reconnecting. I actually cannot handle being away from him for more than one day. Plus, my husband is a pervert and loves staring at beautiful woman so I am not sure how he would handle himself if I wasnt there. Sure, call it a trust issue.


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## Runs like Dog

Last vacation was 1999 and it went so poorly that the subject has never come up from either of us since.


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## CalifGuy

Different strokes for different folks, but I don't think my wife and I would consider separate vacations. For one thing, she doesn't trust me...I am very high sex drive and I have shared every skeleton in my closet with her prior to our wedding engagement...consequently, knowing my history, I am typically on a pretty short leash, for better or worse.

In my first marriage, in 13 years together (half married/half dating), we took one vacation apart, and that was because she canceled at the last moment, a week before a monthlong trip of a lifetime to Botswana and South Africa on a photo safari, and she expected that I would also not go, but, instead, I went without her and filed for divorce a couple weeks after I returned. I had not spent more than a couple nights away from her in the 12 years we lived together and spending 4 weeks away from her gave me all the courage I required to break away from a bad marriage.

One of my siblings vacations separately from her husband once or twice a year and, to me, that is just weird. Yes, ok, perhaps their schedules don't match perfectly but whose does? To me, that just means that a couple wants space and time off from each other and, if that's the case, then why bother being together?


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## Miss Sunshine

We take separate vacation but also many vacation together. I go once every two years with the girls and he goes for a long weekend once a year with the guys.


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## shy_guy

I've never done an actual vacation without my wife in the time we've been married. We have had trips apart. My wife, for instance, has returned to her country to visit family without me - I couldn't get the time at that time. I've gone on business trips where she couldn't make it. But she's also accompanied me on business trips, and I always like it better when she is with me. (She's always called those trips where she accompanied me "Vacation." I wonder if she's ever wondered why I'm not with her during the daytime on those vacations ... ).

I just don't have any desire under normal circumstances to take a vacation without her. Most times, I'm itching to show her some place I've discovered that I know she would like. We always have a great time at that. In fact, the trips by myself to nice places are usually spent with me thinking, "That's nice, but it would be much nicer if I had someone here with me to share it with me." (Of course, the someone I'm thinking of is always family, and my wife is always first when I think of that.)

Something we've done is take vacations and invite other families along with us. That's given us mixed results ... one of the biggest negatives is that the people we typically would like to accompany us on a vacation are not nearly as hardy as we are when it comes to hiking and other such outdoor activities. We only do this on some vacations these days.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

CalifGuy said:


> To me, that just means that a couple wants space and time off from each other and, if that's the case, then why bother being together?


Really? Would you turn down a free 10 night hunting/salmon fishing trip with your male best friend?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My husband and I fully trust one another 100%.

I support my husband's dreams and he supports mine.


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## shy_guy

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Really? Would you turn down a free 10 night hunting/salmon fishing trip with your male best friend?
> 
> Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My husband and I fully trust one another 100%.
> 
> I support my husband's dreams and he supports mine.


Here's what I've discovered on the road ... My attitude takes a big turn south on the third day away from my wife. I just want to get back home. It's that way whether I was in Alaska, Hawaii, New Zealand ... regardless. 

My trips are almost never more than 1 work week, and these days, they're only about 3 - 6 times/year (they were much more frequent when I was in Field Engineering). One of the trips was 2 consecutive weeks during the school year to Hawii. My wife could only accompany me on one week because we didn't want to take our son out of school for more than one week. Same thing even there - my attitude took a big turn south on the third day, and regardless of what I was doing, I mostly just wanted to be with her. Once she and my son arrived, I FULLY enjoyed the rest of the time there. 

I need to share to fully enjoy it. Personally, I would not take a 10 day salmon fishing trip with a friend unless my wife was going for at least part of it.


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## Jeff74

My wife and I definitely take trips without each other. I have a lot of close friends from college and it's great getting away with them sometimes. One of the guys got married last year and we had a 4 day long bachelor party in Vegas and it was great! We have all known each other for so long so we have a good history together. I also went on a week long cycling adventure last fall with 2 buddies of mine. I would say on average my wife and I go away 1-3 times a year with friends and maybe 4-6 times as a family.
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## KanDo

Jeff74 said:


> My wife and I definitely take trips without each other. I have a lot of close friends from college and it's great getting away with them sometimes. One of the guys got married last year and we had a 4 day long bachelor party in Vegas and it was great! We have all known each other for so long so we have a good history together. I also went on a week long cycling adventure last fall with 2 buddies of mine. I would say on average my wife and I go away 1-3 times a year with friends and maybe 4-6 times as a family.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok, so when do you work? :scratchhead:


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## Jeff/BC

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> What are your thoughts about vacationing without your spouse?


Every couple, of course, negotiates personal space to their own needs. But my reaction to this one was pretty funny. The exact thought that went through my head was, "WILLINGLY?" I'd no more do that than leave my left lung at home.


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## Jeff/BC

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Really? Would you turn down a free 10 night hunting/salmon fishing trip with your male best friend?


Without Carol? In a heart beat... or any other activity I can think of.



> Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My husband and I fully trust one another 100%. I support my husband's dreams and he supports mine.


Yup, I totally agree that absence makes the heart grow fonder. We just REALLY dislike the absence part. But I don't think this has anything to do with trust or support or closeness. My general observation is that different couples just have different orbits and there's no meaning to be drawn from it and no real reason for it other than "this is how much space works for us".


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## Mom_In-Love

Me and my husband cannot stand the idea of being away from each other. He even works from home, and we do business together. So, we are that much closer to each other all the time. It NEVER gets tiring. We adore each other and embrace every minute that we are alive together.  Uh! I love being married and in love! We were pretty much inseparable since the moment we met, 37 days before we married. 

We do love taking vacations together. It provides for so many unique and amazing memories.


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## Stonewall

No way! We are like ships passing in the night with our schedules anyway. I would not be ok with loosing what little bit of time I have with her now.


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## Jeff74

KanDo said:


> Ok, so when do you work? :scratchhead:


Well most of th trips are shorter (which is why we take more of them...3 day weekends, for example). But there are times when I have work to do on trips but I try not to have that happen too often.
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## Complexity

She goes to vist her relatives sometimes because I ain't going to see those Mofos


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