# Boring honeymoon sex, how common is it?



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

After I separated from my first husband I realized he is most likely suffering from borderline personality disorder. I found some forums about it and people said its really common for them to completely change after the wedding and to sabotage sex on the honeymoon or make it just boring. Well that's what he did. I can barely remember it. Not that I want to. 
So with my new husband I wanted to have a great time and go crazy on each other. We went to resort on a beach that was couples only. I brought a lot of toys, lingerie, and oils. 
The first day we were both exhausted. But when we did have sex I felt like he was really holding back. We barely used anything and I think we did it twice in five days. 
I started to wonder if this is how it's going to be. Why wouldn't you want your honeymoon to be memorable? 
Do guys feel south pressure about it that they just decide its not worth it? 
Looking back I think I got kind of depressed about it and started thinking that he was going to end up changing and turning into a psycho jerk like my ex did. I think I'm finally putting all of this together and I see that he's not at all like my ex. 
I really didn't feel like I should have to throw myself at my husband on our honeymoon, I was trying to go with the flow. 
I'm just wondering how common this is for people who have already been sleeping together?
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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Wouldnt say boring, but not amazing either.

People usually GO places for their honeymoon. Like on a vacation much of your mental and physical energy is on "experiencing" a new place etc. It wears you out.

Plenty of time to have earth shattering animal sex when you get home.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe he was too drunk? Tired? Worried about your expectations?

Hubs and I did it on our balcony. It wasn't quite dark yet. lol. I still had my dress on.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

placenta previa made for a rather boring honeymoon, had to stick to oral only


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Seriously? Probably too much buildup, planning and expectations for both of you...you sound like you packed for the trip, expecting it to be completely mind numbing. In actuality, sometimes the best times we have are unexpected. That goes for most things, not just sex.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Yeah probably. I just saw it as a big red flag and it's only now 9 months later I'm figuring it out!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Also it was his first plane trip, first time out of the country, first time seeing the ocean, first time being around people who don't all speak English. I think he was overwhelmed and I took it the wrong way, like with my ex the bad sex was just a prelude to him turning into a humongous ass.
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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

I think age also has a lot to do with it.... A couple 19 year Olds might night leave the bed for days..... A couple in their mid 20's might do it two or three times a day, older, probably less.....

I would think that lots of foreplay and teasing would be happening, even if the deed only happens once or twice a day.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

diwali123 said:


> After I separated from my first husband I realized he is most likely suffering from borderline personality disorder. I found some forums about it and people said its really common for them to completely change after the wedding and to sabotage sex on the honeymoon or make it just boring. Well that's what he did. I can barely remember it. Not that I want to.
> So with my new husband I wanted to have a great time and go crazy on each other. We went to resort on a beach that was couples only. I brought a lot of toys, lingerie, and oils.
> The first day we were both exhausted. But when we did have sex I felt like he was really holding back. We barely used anything and I think we did it twice in five days.
> I started to wonder if this is how it's going to be. Why wouldn't you want your honeymoon to be memorable?
> ...


Funny.

We lived together for 5 years before we got married so its not like there wre going to be any big surprises or anything. I do remember however that after the marriage and everything that went with it... and flying a few thousand miles to our tropical retreat.. we wre both physically and emotionally exhausted.

Actually - I think on our wedding night.. before we left - we barely had sex. We sort of laughed about it .. we though we really should, ya know...'do it'. I think we were tired to the point of being punch drunk because we both got the helpless giggles over it. 

I do remember she was beautiful - as beautiful as I had ever seen her. Waxed, manicured, just prefect from head to toe... and we both were just about used up. 

Anyway.. this isnt about us... its about you. My point is - we wound up having some good sex on our honeymoon week... we also packed lotions and potions... toys? no, not us. But sex that week was nothing earth shattering. The good news is that we were just drained - we had a very big wedding and she was just about spent.. and we both just needed time to relax. SO we spent time napping on the beach and hiking in the rainforest. It was the beginning of a (so far) great marriage and we were always very comfortable together and the oddly mediocre sex right at that time didnt phase us too much. Dont get overly worried if reality didnt meet your expectations - and remember - you can go away on your anniversary every year and try again if you are so inclined. And lets not forget every other day.


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## confusedinlife (Mar 9, 2012)

our honeymoon was amazing...did it every day....:smthumbup:


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My honeymoon sex SUCKED as in there wasn't much of it and absolutely it was a preview as what was to come. Spent the next 7 years mostly sexless. Oh and we were 25. Blech.

We did eventually work this out but it's still a sore spot over all the years I missed.


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## aw9d (Feb 17, 2010)

My wife and I were together for 4 years before we got married.

And the Honeymoon sex has been on my top ten times I've had sex for years now. We have topped it a few times at home, but the honeymoon still is awesome. We spent a week in Jamaica and I would guess had sex at least 15-20 times. One night tho it was just EPIC. Got a lot of 'first times' with my wife that night.


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## Archie (Mar 16, 2012)

Di, Don't use this experience and evaluate too harshly because it wasn't "toe-curling" or mind-blowing. From a guy's perspective, the higher the expectation on the part of the female partner (sometimes) the more apprehension on the part of the male partner. We -want- it to be everything you expect, something you'll remember, but sometimes the planets aint aligned right and things don't go as planned. It's all about -expectations-! You two have a lifetime ahead of you to explore, experiment and learn about each other. That kind of knowledge doesn't happen overnight. Please don't let the (negative) experiences of the past influence the present and future. Some of the best sex IMO is spontaneous or situations where lengthy -anticipation- prior to the main event have to be endured first You can also take it upon yourself to plan a rendezvous, even at home. See if hubby likes role-playing. Masturbate for each other. This kind of play opens the door of intimate communication, which IMO is the cornerstone of lifelong monogomy and a highly satisfying sex life. Remember too, for both both females and males, the most powerful sex tool or organ that you have is located between your ears. 
I wish you and your husband all the best!


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I should say toys, lingerie, etc are a normal part of our sex life. I thought we might at least do things we do at home, not do less. It also really bothered me because he knows how much I love oral and he wouldn't even attempt it. Long story but he's maybe done it three times since we've been married. We're working on it.
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## ffp20 (Nov 13, 2011)

We were away on our honeymoon for ten days. we had two quickies. Like others, it was a prelude to what followed. That was 24 yrs ago.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Try having no sex at all on your honeymoon. Zero. Not even oral or anything.

In her case sex was painful, and it's something that we are still dealing with (although with much progress) almost 15 years later.

So yeah... can always be worse.  Still it stinks when you're expectations come no where close to being satisfied. Believe me I came back from my honeymoon greatly disappointed, crushed really.

What's worse is when I got back friends at work and in the family ask how things went, and out of respect for her I would just say it was "very relaxing". Technically true since aside from sleep and visiting different locations nothing else happened. :? So it would just hurt all over again every time I had to answer.


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