# Can you buy your own home while separated? Or should I just rent?



## brokenmama (May 27, 2012)

My husband and I are getting ready to separate after I giver birth to our second child.

I am looking forward to moving out and moving on to a happier phase in my life, regardless of what my STBXH is telling me. He says every man is a dog, they will all cheat on me, etc, etc. Blah, blah, blah. I am wondering where all the good men are, and who would want to date a 34 year old woman that has 2 young kids and has to work with her ex, but I am not rushing to meet a new man any time soon.

I am actually hoping to buy a house, and this one is on the same road my mom lives on, which to me is perfect. But legally can I purchase? Should I just rent?


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

Depending on your state, you may want to consider a *contract settlement agreement* (sometimes called a marital settlement agreement) that defines the financial terms of how you will deal with separation. I did one with my ex and it set down the terms of how we would split up our iras and real estate. Within the document, we acknowledged the split was not 100% even, and we listed balances of all accounts and property values and who would own what. We used the document with banks and title cos to transfer title and account ownerships and beneficiaries). It's kinda a "post nup."

(do check with a lawyer about this in your situation. community property laws are very particular.)

We were still legally married but it defined how we were no longer financially intertwined.

It worked well for us *because there was no disagreement on any of the terms*, our house was paid for, we had zero debt, and because we had no minor children. we also were cooperating and didn't want to give up a single penny to a divorce attorney. in your case perhaps it could be used to acknowledge your house purchase and that your ex would have no interest in it. (but i would definitely *check with a lawyer to see how that would play out in your state*. )

We eventually submitted the agreement along with our divorce filing. It was detailed enough to define divorce terms, and we had no trouble with any legal or banking entity. 

we did the entire divorce process without a lawyer :smthumbup:, just paying a legal assistant to file papers and serve notices officially.


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