# LD Husband HD Wife



## blukitten (Apr 29, 2014)

I had originally posted this thread in LD Husband Journal thread but decided after recommendation to post it into my own thread, the situation is similar to hers but decided to put it into my own thread for questions and comments


So, I have a LD husband and I am very, very HD. He wasnt alway LD and in the beginning of our relationship he kept up with me very well and we have had an excellent sex life for atleast the first 12 years of our marriage. We have gone through periods of issue but never like it is now. We have done just about everything in the way of sexual experiences. We have several toys and when we do have sex I have no issues reaching multiple O's. However, in the last couple of years he has been lasting less and less time, we used to go at it for hours but now Im lucky if we get in 10-30 min depending on the day and it is usually more like 10 min. We used to have sex everyday, several times a day. Now it is once a month. I have complained to him several times that I "need" to have sex more often than we do. I understand he has had some issues with medications he has been on, but he isnt on them anymore and it still hasnt improved. I try not to nag him about it because I know that will probably make it worse. But even now when he does initiate it, I dont like doing it with him because it is boring and he always does the same thing for foreplay, its like a routine now for what he does. I do initiate or try to but he is often asleep before me. When I do initiate it he still does the same things, I try to change it up by doind different positions and stuff, buying lingerie, etc but that doesnt work well either. I have even attended those pleasure parties and bought some new stuff we dont have to try to make it better. 
I have been turned down by him occasionally, at which point I make some snide comment about how I am going to pose the question on facebook, how many men would turn down their wives for sex when she is............
I am very frustrated by this and really do need the sex back in my life. It is frustrating beyond beleif and I really dont understand how we can go from having such a good sex life to now having a sex life that sucks. Any advice on why he could have such a LD now? Also on how he can last longer? We used to do it multiple times, now only once and he says its "tired" cant get it back up or whatever. :scratchhead:


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

Has he had his tesosterone checked, if not I would start there. If you look on the web there are many labs around the country that you can order your own tests. If it does turn out to be low T and he wants to work on his health instead of HRT you can find many natual plans on the web. We liked this plan Testosterone Week: The Declining Virility of Men and the Importance of T | The Art of Manliness it is very thorough. Others will say you should go somewhere reliable like webmd, we went there too for learning but most places didn't have a well laid out plan and this guy had lab testing and he doubled his levels in 90 days. He's not selling anything and he has research to back up his info, links to studies on pubmed for pretty much every thing he did.

The desire, getting it up, and lasting can all be tied to low T. It may not be it but I'd suggest at least looking at the symptoms as some meds can lower T levels. With raising T levels I found the man I married again, not just the sex but the silly, teasing, happy go lucky man I married who could handle any stress in stride.

No matter the cause I feel for you good luck! We are not all the way there yet but we are defintely out of the woods and doing great. Our problems started about at the 12 year mark as well, the stress of our finances flipping upside down with the economy just got to both of us. 5 years later it sunk to a low and we finally found an answer.


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## blukitten (Apr 29, 2014)

Thanks for the reply and info the2ofus,

We have had his testosterone checked, about 6 months ago, it was very low and he went in for a series of shots to get it back up, has successfully gotten it back up now, it is still on the low end but is normal now. I will try the link you gave- I would like to have the man I married back!! 

THank you!


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

On the link there are some charts on what healthy levels are. The labs are slowly moving there numbers up but still some have normal at 300 for a guy in his early 40s. Interesting thing is when they take a group of healthy men experiencing no problems they see numbers much higher.

Also I would try to drop all snide comments and try to be as supportive as possible. It can be emberassing for a guy to admit he can't make it work, he needs to know you are in this TOGETHER. We both are weightlifting, doing the hiit, and eating healthy together. My husband says that helps a lot.


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