# Why would my husband need a KIK account?



## derbygirl

My husband spends a TON of time on his phone and he never leaves it lying around except when he's sleeping of course. One day however he was doing some stuff in the kitchen and had it charging on the counter. I came it for something and saw his phone light up and saw that it was a KIK message. I asked him what KIK was (I had never heard of it) and he explained it. I asked him why he would need free unlimited messaging through KIK when we have unlimited texting through our phone company. He changed the subject. I never saw who it was from and refuse to snoop on his phone; he's done it to me and it made me furious so if I do it, that would be a double standard. I have suspected he was up to something for a while. He's in the army and always seems to have CQ (overnight security basically) on Friday or Saturday night. He's ALWAYS on his phone texting. Am I just overreacting or should I be suspicious? Anyone wanna KIK my husband to see if he "bites", lol. Just kidding. Kinda.


----------



## MattMatt

Kik Messenger | Fast, Simple, Personal Smartphone Messaging 

It looks quite a neat service. Probably better and more user friendly than text messaging.

Is he a bit of a geek? Looks like the kind of thing geeks would love.


----------



## derbygirl

Not at all. His iPhone is the most technical thing he owns and he's pretty old-fashioned otherwise.

I hope I'm just overreacting.


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch

Does he have a lock on it? If you ask him to see it will he let you, ON THE SPOT and not "delete evidence" then let you see it.

Does he get angry and ask for you to stop invading his privacy when you grab his phone?

Pay attention to the signs of waywardness.

They're all generally the same.


----------



## PBear

You're posting in the Infidelity forum... So what do you think? By itself, it's a red flag. But it doesn't MEAN he's cheating. 

I could use an app like that to communicate with someone I didn't trust with my cell number. It might be a crazy girlfriend, it might be a Craigslist ad, whatever. I'd also use it if I didn't want my partner to see who I was communicating with. Again, it might be because I was setting up her birthday party, or I might be communicating with a prostitute. There's no way to tell. You need to either dig more or confront.

C


----------



## sandc

If you're married why don't you just share passwords? Why hide anything? My wife and I even share our facebook account.


----------



## derbygirl

I haven't asked to use or see his phone. I think he would feel attacked if I did. As far as I know he doesn't lock his phone. I could be overreacting I guess. I would feel so guilty if I looked on his phone and found nothing. Besides, he is totally the type to erase messages. Ugh. This is so frustrating.


----------



## SadandAngry

Why did it make you furious that your husband looked at your phone? You are creating a very poor precedent in your marriage, in my opinion. How long have you been married?

There is room for privacy in a marriage (as in close the door when you are on the toilet), but not secrecy (unknown passcodes on email, phone, laptop, etc).

I have a texting app on my phone however. I am not a deleter, and the stock android message service bogged down trying to keep running with all the texts. There can be advantages to using different software, but if he wasn't open and willing to share that with you, that is kind of suspicious. Usually guys would be more than happy to geek out on you, and talk way too much about it.


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch

Put your phone elsewhere or "leave it in the car" or "at work".

Grab his phone and ask if you can make a quick phone call to "work" or someone whom you were supposed to call back. Check his reaction, if he says "in a bit" or "later", "no wait, why don't you use your phone, where is your phone, ok wait up let me check if..." instead of "yeah sure, here is the pass, where is your phone?"


----------



## derbygirl

I get mad at him for spying on me because he always gets mad at me for talking to my friends about personal problems. And he thinks that I'm "looking" for someone to cheat with. He always blows things WAY out of proportion. Besides, from the get-go, we have both expressed the wish for at least a little privacy.


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch

derbygirl said:


> I haven't asked to use or see his phone. I think he would feel attacked if I did. As far as I know he doesn't lock his phone. I could be overreacting I guess. I would feel so guilty if I looked on his phone and found nothing. Besides, he is totally the type to* erase messages*. Ugh. This is so frustrating.


Its all about timing, you cannot control who messages you and when they message you.


----------



## PBear

derbygirl said:


> I get mad at him for spying on me because he always gets mad at me for talking to my friends about personal problems. And he thinks that I'm "looking" for someone to cheat with. He always blows things WAY out of proportion. Besides, from the get-go, we have both expressed the wish for at least a little privacy.


I think you guys need some external help...

C


----------



## that_girl

If he's accusing you of cheating, I'd bet he is cheating.


----------



## Hope1964

that_girl said:


> If he's accusing you of cheating, I'd bet he is cheating.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

You need to do more digging. There are a lot of red flags here.

Why don't you offer him your phone and ask that he reciprocate?


----------



## sinnister

that_girl said:


> If he's accusing you of cheating, I'd bet he is cheating.


Or he finds the need for her "privacy" as a red flag?:scratchhead:


----------



## Sara8

CleanJerkSnatch said:


> Put your phone elsewhere or "leave it in the car" or "at work".
> 
> Grab his phone and ask if you can make a quick phone call to "work" or someone whom you were supposed to call back. Check his reaction, if he says "in a bit" or "later", "no wait, why don't you use your phone, where is your phone, ok wait up let me check if..." instead of "yeah sure, here is the pass, where is your phone?"


This is an excellent tactic. 

When my spouse was cheating, he would literally hiss the word "no" when I asked to use any of his gadgets, and he became very possessive of them. 

Read the red flags for cheating section. This possessiveness about gadgets is a huge red flag.


----------



## derbygirl

I really don't have any secrets. He's read my journal, checks my facebook regularly and I catch him on my phone all the time. It bothers me that he doesn't trust me and doesn't give me any privacy, and I really don't want to invade him in hopes that he'll see that we should respect each others privacy. I'm not asking for much, just some respect.


----------



## sandc

No need for secrets in a marriage unless you're doing something you don't want your spouse to know about.


----------



## Entropy3000

derbygirl said:


> I really don't have any secrets. He's read my journal, checks my facebook regularly and I catch him on my phone all the time. It bothers me that he doesn't trust me and doesn't give me any privacy, and I really don't want to invade him in hopes that he'll see that we should respect each others privacy. I'm not asking for much, just some respect.


Marriage is about love and respect. Trust is a by product. Partners who practice transparency actually cultivate more trust. You should trust each other to see what you are doing for example. You are not trustung him is why you do not want him to look at what you are doing.

I assume these friends of yours are female and not men. And that in the past he saw some comments you made that bothered him. Maybe how good looking some guy was maybe. Idunno. What did he see that bothered him?

But to me having this type of privacy and just saying trust me is a red flag. But that is just me.

I suggest you guys move into transparency and not have these secrets from each other. This promotes intimacy in a marriage which is a good thing IMO.


----------



## derbygirl

The thing is, I have never really made a big deal that he spies on me but it does bother me. His spying and his secrecy is what makes me wonder what's up.I have never spied on him, I just saw his phone when it lit up in front of me on the kitchen counter. He then snatched it up as fast as he could.

Maybe I'm just being insecure.


----------



## OhGeesh

How old are you guys? My wife has a FB account I do not anymore I loathed the "Going to the gym" "Ate a steak" posts all day long. I do have a Instagram and a KIK account.......she has neither.

If you are into the constant picture message craziness of Instagram it's cool stuff. KIK on the other hand would make me question why unless he was trying to hide his identitiy. I have it simply because it is a work phone and if I send a pic that is questionable I'll enable wifi and send it via KIK. 

He very well may be playing some online games as in sexting, flirting, portraying himself as someone he is not etc, with females inappropriately. I do not think you are being insecure either. Often people doing things they shoudln't project hence his spying on you with no reason for it.

If was a betting man I would bet he is doing something you would not approve of.


----------



## Count of Monte Cristo

derbygirl said:


> My husband and I have only been married for about a year and a half (together for 3) so you'd think that excitement would still be there. It's not. He LOVES sex. He'd do it twice a day if he could. I could go without it for the rest of my life.


Derbygirl, in the sex and marriage subforum you started a thread in which you proclaim your hatred of sex. Could this be the reason why you feel that your husband is cheating on you? You also started another thread about using a friend to come on to a spouse to 'test' his faithfulness.

I hate to tell you but your marriage is in serious trouble. Believe it or not, when men marry they expect their wives to have sex with them. There's no excuse for cheating but you clearly have your antenna up.


----------



## SadandAngry

What you are calling spying should be normal. You should both be transparent to the other. Keeping your phone, your email, your fb out of bounds, that is not privacy within a marriage, that is secrecy. Completely different animals. One builds trust and respect, the other tears it down.

So what is it with you? What are you not telling us? You don't want to look at his stuff. Is it that you don't want him to look at yours? Why? Or is it that you are afraid of what you will find?


----------



## OhGeesh

SadandAngry said:


> What you are calling spying should be normal. You should both be transparent to the other. Keeping your phone, your email, your fb out of bounds, that is not privacy within a marriage, that is secrecy. Completely different animals. One builds trust and respect, the other tears it down.
> 
> So what is it with you? What are you not telling us? You don't want to look at his stuff. Is it that you don't want him to look at yours? Why? Or is it that you are afraid of what you will find?


If there is enough suspiscion to merit looking I agree it shouldn't be a issue. The flip side is unless the relationship has always been like that it can feel very weird. 

If my wife said gimme your phone and spend 20 minutes going through everything I've done in the last month it would be a little violating unless I gave her just cause and the same goes if I grabbed her phone and started doing the same.

Good luck OP let us know what you find.


----------



## controlledchaos

As a matter of principle, partners are entitled to their privacy. I cannot demand to see my wifes phone or read her emails, and I expect the same in return. 

On the flipside, I know first hand that if someone starts acting strangely and refuses to let you see his phone, or changes the subject etc, he is doing something he shouldn't be doing. 

The revelation about your sex life possibly confirms it too. 

Also bear in mind though that these days there is a lot of fun you can have online, without actually having physical contact with anyone, so it could be that. Either communicating with someone, or porn. Still not great, but easy to get sucked into and possibly more likely than him actually sleeping with someone.


----------



## controlledchaos

Double post somehow, sorry.


----------



## costa200

> I never saw who it was from and refuse to snoop on his phone; *he's done it to me and it made me furious *so if I do it, that would be a double standard.


How is that working out for you now that the shoe is on the other foot?


----------



## Maricha75

controlledchaos said:


> As a matter of principle, partners are entitled to their privacy. I cannot demand to see my wifes phone or read her emails, and I expect the same in return.
> 
> On the flipside, I know first hand that if someone starts acting strangely and refuses to let you see his phone, or changes the subject etc, he is doing something he shouldn't be doing.
> 
> The revelation about your sex life possibly confirms it too.
> 
> Also bear in mind though that these days there is a* lot of fun you can have online, without actually having physical contact with anyone*, so it could be that. Either* communicating with someone*, or porn. *Still not great, but easy to get sucked into and possibly more likely than him actually sleeping with someone*.


Would you care to explain what you mean by this? Do you mean talking sexually with someone online/texting them, but not meeting up in person. I, along with a few others I am sure, would like to hear what you are thinking here. If you are implying that chatting in such a manner with someone other than his wife is somehow "ok" or "not as bad as it could be"...I got news for you. It is JUST as devastating...and *IS CHEATING*!!


----------



## Maricha75

costa200 said:


> How is that working out for you now that the shoe is on the other foot?


Hmmmm...Costa, speaking from experience... BTDT. And now? I have absolutely no problem with handing over my phone to him, letting him snoop if he wishes. I understand WHY he was doing it before...or trying to. If there was no suspicious activity, I would have been irritated. But there was. Big difference there. The OP's husband has some new app on his phone. It is one of those apps that keeps texting from showing on the cell bill. Locking phone, snatching it up real quick when a message comes in... not wanting his wife to see...all signs that something's not right. And that would be something I WOULD be monitoring... CLOSELY.


----------



## 45188

Yeah maricha, I'm pretty sure that's what he means. Sexting. Cybersex.. Or as I like to call it textual intercourse :rofl:

And hell yes, it's cheating! I was watching Dexter the other day and there was a character on it who's girlfriend found out he was sleeping with a hooker and he's like "It's not cheating if you pay for it!!" - She didn't see it that way and neither do MOST girls!


----------



## controlledchaos

Maricha75 said:


> Would you care to explain what you mean by this? Do you mean talking sexually with someone online/texting them, but not meeting up in person. I, along with a few others I am sure, would like to hear what you are thinking here. If you are implying that chatting in such a manner with someone other than his wife is somehow "ok" or "not as bad as it could be"...I got news for you. It is JUST as devastating...and *IS CHEATING*!!


I know its cheating, I didn't say it isn't. I just want her to be aware that he may not physically be sticking his penis in another woman, but the attachment to the phone could be because of some other kind of relationship online. So looking out for signs as to where he is, who he's with, health concerns etc could be fruitless.


----------



## 45188

You kinda expect him not to be human by refusing to have sex with him though derby.. Also you're pretty secretive yourself. I would NEVER be angry at my boyfriend for checking my phone if he were insecure about something. You send up a lot of red flags.


----------



## Maricha75

derbygirl said:


> I haven't asked to use or see his phone. I think he would feel attacked if I did. *As far as I know he doesn't lock his phone.* I could be overreacting I guess. I would feel so guilty if I looked on his phone and found nothing. Besides, he is totally the type to erase messages. Ugh. This is so frustrating.


Just FYI... my husband doesn't lock his phone either. He never has. He still had an emotional affair. He was at the point where he didn't think I would care. So, if you think there may be something up...check. Just know that asking him outright is going to piss him off or he will get better at hiding what he is doing...IF it is inappropriate.


----------



## ubercoolpanda

Has anyone seen the reviews of the kik app? It seems as if people use it to sext.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EleGirl

Private Detective Advice said:


> Hi Derby Girl.. If your husband is communicating via KIK does not mean he is doing anything bad. There would be other signs you would have noticed if he was having any type of relationship outside the marriage. Don't drive your self crazy worrying over this as this may just be an isolated event.


What other signs?


----------



## BigTex

derbygirl said:


> My husband spends a TON of time on his phone and he never leaves it lying around except when he's sleeping of course. One day however he was doing some stuff in the kitchen and had it charging on the counter. I came it for something and saw his phone light up and saw that it was a KIK message. I asked him what KIK was (I had never heard of it) and he explained it. I asked him why he would need free unlimited messaging through KIK when we have unlimited texting through our phone company. He changed the subject. I never saw who it was from and refuse to snoop on his phone; he's done it to me and it made me furious so if I do it, that would be a double standard. I have suspected he was up to something for a while. He's in the army and always seems to have CQ (overnight security basically) on Friday or Saturday night. He's ALWAYS on his phone texting. Am I just overreacting or should I be suspicious? Anyone wanna KIK my husband to see if he "bites", lol. Just kidding. Kinda.


Well I hate to tell you this. But I caught my wife on KIK this past summer and she was sending photos (nude) of herself to strange men. After I caught her she said she was just playing a "game" with them. She said that she was playing a game app on her iPhone and it had a chat app. A few of the men asked her to get on KIK as it does not show up on a phone bill. I not only caught my wife.....but I took screen shots of the chats and did a little detective work to find out the names of these mens' wives. I sent them the chats and screenshots as well. I can't stand cheaters. I can't stand men that think it is perfectly fine to pursue a married woman. There is no respect for the sanctity of marriage anymore. 

I hate to tell you this, but KIK has one purpose......to text people that you don't want your spouse to find out about. I did not see ONE innocent "chat" on KIK that my wife had. 

The question I have for you is what was on your phone that made you so irate about him getting on it? Sure, I believe in some relative privacy. But there should be very few secrets from your spouse if they are your best friend. My wife and I went to counseling, agreed on being open when it comes to our iPhones and computers, etc. She can log onto mine when she wants and I can log onto hers when she wants. We are open and honest now and our marriage has never felt so strong. But PM me if you want me to "bait" him.


----------



## matthewm

To Deber girl:

If your Husband is acting weird and trying to change subjects when you openly bring up an issue that's hurting you than you have every right to ask for his phone or be more open in the relationship.

Marriage is not two people anymore it's a 1 person ball game you both should have everything open in your marriage.

You should able to use his phone, see all the bill statements, if there was nothing going on then there wouldn't be any problem with him aloowing you to use his phone even if it's to just make a call on it.

You need to shine light on this, and dig deeper in to his so called personal life, he personal life should be with you not his I phone.

Hope this helped


----------



## soccermom2three

ubercoolpanda said:


> Has anyone seen the reviews of the kik app? It seems as if people use it to sext.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Curiosity got the best of me so I downloaded the app. During the download the window popped up and said that the app may have content not suitable for those under 18. Why would a texting app have that disclosure?


----------



## LRgirl

My Husband never hid his work laptop from me, emails were there at the touch of a button.....his mobile was always out, unlocked, we never had FB....and he still cheated on me with 3 ONS.

So it means nothing if they leave everything lying around really, and it wasn't that he deleted stuff either....I just trusted him and it never crossed my mind to look. FOOL

I tell my younger sister now, *trust your H but verify* what he says. She still in the lovely dreamy state of 'he would never do that to me' But we all know he might!

If my H was so precious about his phone alarm bells would have been ringing loudly....you have a seed sown now, its going to grow so you need to know one way or another if he is cheating on you. Unless, of course you're not that bothered?

I always trusted my H 100%, probably because he never went any where without me, only work, he never went out with friends unless I was there, and he never spent money I didn't know about....but one day after hearing something about 'all men will cheat given the opportunity' i picked up his phone and there, bingo the first message to a female colleague was quite inappropriate flirting! Even the flirting shocked me as it seemed so out of character for him.

This lead me to snoop further and i found loads of inappropriate pictures and e-mails that had been sent to and from his colleagues. Finally I found an email from years before.....I played the long game in finding my evidence....and when I did, its fair to say, the $h1t hit the fan.

You have to check his phone! if I'd have checked my H emails or phone years before I could have nipped something in the bud before it got started!....and he'd been looking at loads of porn when in work too so do yourself a favor!


----------



## LRgirl

soccermom2three said:


> Curiosity got the best of me so I downloaded the app. During the download the window popped up and said that the app may have content not suitable for those under 18. Why would a texting app have that disclosure?


How would we know if our kids and OH have this app on their phones, is it easy to spot? or hidden from view?

Thanks in advance


----------



## soccermom2three

LRgirl said:


> How would we know if our kids and OH have this app on their phones, is it easy to spot? or hidden from view?
> 
> Thanks in advance


It's not hidden from view. It has a icon. I went into the app, really nothing special.


----------



## PieceOfSky

soccermom2three said:


> It's not hidden from view. It has a icon. I went into the app, really nothing special.


On iPhones, you can delete the icon but the app stays installed. To find and run it, swipe your finger to the right until you get all the way to the leftmost page which is the search page. Type the letters kik into the box and see if it comes up.


----------



## PieceOfSky

I installed kik because my kids have kik on their iPods and I like to understand what tools they are using.

Also, one was receiving regrettable content from here friend and I needed to intervene.

I kept it and set up an account thinking the kids and I could text each other, but turns out we never have done it.

One problematic thing about kik here is its previous messages disappear permanently pretty quickly.

Please get over your concern about seeming to have a double standard, and change your standard to one accepting and demanding transparency.


----------



## NatureDave

That's the whole point of the app.

Any texts or photos you send disappear permanently a few seconds after they are read or viewed. 

That way you can send photos or messages without the fear that they will be spread around or posted on facebook or the internet.

You know - party photos, drug use, nudity, etc. It's a pretty popular app among the younger crowd. Cheaters too, I guess


----------



## tacoma

controlledchaos said:


> As a matter of principle, partners are entitled to their privacy. I cannot demand to see my wifes phone or read her emails, and I expect the same in return.


In your partnership maybe but not mine.
If I ask for my wifes phone she simply hands it over, if she refused we'd have a serious problem.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ovid

There should be no secrets in marriage. All accounts should be open to each other, and a reasonable expectation of trust. If a SO is doing anything shifty or odd they should expect their SO to check it out and be open to it.


----------



## whatslovegottodowithit?

As said before, KIK is BAD BAD BAD!

-visit the app store and read the reviews (mostly children who post in the reviews about wanting to dirty talk and trade pics)

-this app is popular amongst children...is this an issue for your H OP?

-this app was designed to be truly anonymous so the person you txt and trade filthy pics with only know your 'kik name' and not your phone, cell, email, etc...

-grown men (or women for that matter) don't download anonymous chat/fileshare clients by mistake...there was or is an agenda here

Sadly, this is just one of many stealthy apps that facilitate cheating and inappropriate contact with others. Be very concerned!


----------



## BigTex

LRgirl said:


> My Husband never hid his work laptop from me, emails were there at the touch of a button.....his mobile was always out, unlocked, we never had FB....and he still cheated on me with 3 ONS.
> 
> So it means nothing if they leave everything lying around really, and it wasn't that he deleted stuff either....I just trusted him and it never crossed my mind to look. FOOL
> 
> I tell my younger sister now, *trust your H but verify* what he says. She still in the lovely dreamy state of 'he would never do that to me' But we all know he might!
> 
> If my H was so precious about his phone alarm bells would have been ringing loudly....you have a seed sown now, its going to grow so you need to know one way or another if he is cheating on you. Unless, of course you're not that bothered?
> 
> I always trusted my H 100%, probably because he never went any where without me, only work, he never went out with friends unless I was there, and he never spent money I didn't know about....but one day after hearing something about 'all men will cheat given the opportunity' i picked up his phone and there, bingo the first message to a female colleague was quite inappropriate flirting! Even the flirting shocked me as it seemed so out of character for him.
> 
> This lead me to snoop further and i found loads of inappropriate pictures and e-mails that had been sent to and from his colleagues. Finally I found an email from years before.....I played the long game in finding my evidence....and when I did, its fair to say, the $h1t hit the fan.
> 
> You have to check his phone! if I'd have checked my H emails or phone years before I could have nipped something in the bud before it got started!....and he'd been looking at loads of porn when in work too so do yourself a favor!


That is a very good point. Once that "seed" of doubt is "sown" in you, it will only grow. It will fester and the distrust will fester. You must deal with it ASAP or your marriage is doomed. Remember, "two shall leave their parents and become one." What one does the other is entitled to see. Otherwise, distrust will grow and destroy the marriage.


----------



## workindad

From my experience, there is a clear difference between secrecy and privacy. Secrecy has no place in a marriage.


----------



## BigTex

workindad said:


> From my experience, there is a clear difference between secrecy and privacy. Secrecy has no place in a marriage.


I expect "privacy" when I am going to the bathroom, on a conference call, in the shower, etc. But when it comes to my phone, my computer, my Facebook, etc.....my wife is completely entitled to look at those things as am I with hers. Like I said, "2 shall leave their parents and become one." And if the 2 shall become 1, then you act as a single unit. Hopefully, you wouldn't be dishonest with yourself. So why be "secretive" keep things "private" from your spouse? 

Good luck if you decide to keep things "secret" and/or "private" from your spouse. I doubt the marriage will last.


----------



## TrustlessHeart

So curious how this turned out for you. Just found this place because I found a kik account on my 48 yr old husbands tablet and since you can delete everything easily at the end of each message there is no way to know who with or when he has used it. He has cheated before so my mind immediately goes there, but since I've never looked at his tablet before it may have been there from years ago. I deleted the kik account from his tablet. If it gets reinstalled by the next time I check it, I'll pretty much have my answer. Your man is acting just like mine was when he betrayed me. I hope things worked out for you.


----------



## dignityhonorpride

TrustlessHeart said:


> So curious how this turned out for you. Just found this place because I found a kik account on my 48 yr old husbands tablet and since you can delete everything easily at the end of each message there is no way to know who with or when he has used it. He has cheated before so my mind immediately goes there, but since I've never looked at his tablet before it may have been there from years ago. I deleted the kik account from his tablet. If it gets reinstalled by the Kardashians next time I check it, I'll pretty much have my answer. Your man is acting just like mine was when he betrayed me. I hope things worked out for you.


Trustless, you will get replies and insight on this if you start your own thread. I do think you have every reason to be trustless based on what you've said...


----------



## G.J.

derbygirl said:


> considered setting up a decoy? What if you were to get a friend who your spouse doesn't know, and had that friend hit on your spouse? Just to find out their reaction. Is this a mean, low down, dirty thing to do, or am I on to something? And even if you did it, how would you confront your spouse. I just thought this would be an interesting discussion. I don't think I could go through with it, but I'm curious what people think of it.
> 
> 
> .............................................................................................
> 
> My husband and I have only been married for about a year and a half (together for 3) so you'd think that excitement would still be there. It's not. He LOVES sex. He'd do it twice a day if he could. I could go without it for the rest of my life. He gets sex 1-2 times a week (excluding period week and another topic) not because I want to do it but because I can't stand living with him when he's deprived. He gets easily agitated (but never violent) and very emotional. He acts like I am the meanest wife ever, questions my love for him and talks about how he can't go on in a virtually sexless marriage. And that's if we go 4 or five days without it! During my period he STILL makes me feel guilty for not wanting sex even though I think it's gross. I am constantly made to feel guilty for not giving him the intimacy he "needs". He has never admitted to me outright that he thinks I'm cheating (I must be if I don't want sex 24/7 from him, right?) but he gets onto my computer, checks my search history, my facebook messages, on my phone, etc. I try hard to not make him feel like he's getting pity sex but I am not a good actor. I feel no pleasure in sex and am seeking counseling (on my accord) and medical advice (at his suggestion) to hopefully resolve this issue in me. However, I don't think the issue lies within me, or at least not within JUST me. He is so clingy, needy and needs constant affirmation. I think that all the guilt trips from back when I did enjoy sex but turned him down for one reason or another have made me not enjoy sex. Now I even DREAD sex and I think it's because of him constantly giving me guilt trips.
> 
> Am I nuts? Am I being unreasonable?
> 
> I'm trying to meet his needs but I feel like he has no regard for my feelings. My excuses aren't that I'm too tired, or that I have a headache (despite the horrible tension headaches I've had lately dealing with this issue); it's that I don't feel like having sex.
> 
> Please give me any advice you can offer, even if it's what you think I won't want to hear...please.
> 
> Derbygirl


Just read your two previous posts....

This may help TAM members answer why he uses a KIK account

here's latest stats for using KIK account
Kik: This adult-orientated app has an age restriction, for 17+. More than half of the members (57%) on Illicit Encounters said they use Kik for ‘sexting’ and sending ‘naughty pictures’. 7% of women surveyed said they became concerned about their husband’s fidelity when they saw the Kik app on his phone.


----------



## Rugs

Cheating.


Go to the coping with infidelity forum and learn how to gather evidence while playing stupid. 

It sounds like he's cheating to me.


----------

