# "Loveless" Marriage. Advice



## omak42 (Jan 10, 2012)

Ok so the long and skinny of it is my wife and I have been having ongoing problems for a while. Our sex life is not very thriving and we seem to be better friends than lovers at this point. We have been married for about 2.5 years.....
Today we had a pretty big fight that just came out of no where and now my wife is telling me that she just doesnt feel like there is any love in our marriage and she is "done" with it. 
I love her very much and could not imagine being with anyone else, but I dont know how to strike the match in our marriage. Any advice would be welcome!


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## Dellia (Jan 6, 2012)

What would you do if you had just met and fallen in love with her? Call her to say ""I love you"? Meet her for lunch? Offer to go shopping with her? Cook her dinner? I suggest you do a few 'out of the ordinary' things for her, even if there is no great change at first. You see, even loving relationships get in a rut. It's not that you stopped loving one another but that you become a bit lethargic as a spouse and even a person, sometimes. Don't try to be overly romantic...that always felt fake to me. What makes me (naturally) happy are these little things that my husband does; his laughter just tickles me inside. His smiles (the genuine, natural smiles) light up my heart. If I see him excited about what he's doing or talking about and he is sharing his thoughts and excitement with ME(!), I feel special. He texts me here and there with 'I LOVE YOU', hearts and smileys, just to let me know he's thinking of me. You know what makes me really happy? When he is spontaneous! It really does makes me happy! When out of the blue he stands up with a clap and a smile and says "Come on! Let's go for a walk!". or "Let's order a pizza tonight!", I feel like a happy child. I would say that it's a combination of his energy, his enthusiasm, his own visible excitement, his taking control of a situation (that doesn't NEED my input), and the spontaneity, all combined that sparks excitement and happiness in me!! 
Good luck and best wishes


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Wives fall out of love with their husbands. It's the natural progression of a marriage. Yours was a little soon. It usually happens starting at 5 years, but it's been know to hit earlier. And you can't do anything about it. Just hope you can both stick it out until you die.

Good luck.


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## Dellia (Jan 6, 2012)

MrK said:


> Wives fall out of love with their husbands. It's the natural progression of a marriage. Yours was a little soon. It usually happens starting at 5 years, but it's been know to hit earlier. And you can't do anything about it. Just hope you can both stick it out until you die.
> 
> Good luck.


You are making this sound like it's a fact, with every wife. It's not. Yes, SOME wives fall out of love with their husbands but some husbands fall out of love with their wives. There are many happy marriages. They have their ups and downs; no marriage is without it's problems, but many people learn to work through and become stronger and MORE loving in their relationship.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

MrK said:


> Wives fall out of love with their husbands. It's the natural progression of a marriage. Yours was a little soon. It usually happens starting at 5 years, but it's been know to hit earlier. And you can't do anything about it. Just hope you can both stick it out until you die.
> 
> Good luck.


Joke? Has to be because I died laughing at this answer.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Kobo said:


> Joke? Has to be because I died laughing at this answer.



Joke? I don't know. Tongue in cheek? Probably more accurate. Either way, there needs to be a little truth for a joke to be funny.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

MrK said:


> Joke? I don't know. Tongue in cheek? Probably more accurate. Either way, there needs to be a little truth for a joke to be funny.


Well I don't know of a "walk away husband syndrome"....


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## mankind (Jan 10, 2012)

At OP

You wife is cheating on you!

If you are willing to listen, I can tell you why!


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Dellia said:


> What would you do if you had just met and fallen in love with her? Call her to say ""I love you"? Meet her for lunch? Offer to go shopping with her? Cook her dinner? I suggest you do a few 'out of the ordinary' things for her, even if there is no great change at first. You see, even loving relationships get in a rut. It's not that you stopped loving one another but that you become a bit lethargic as a spouse and even a person, sometimes. Don't try to be overly romantic...that always felt fake to me. What makes me (naturally) happy are these little things that my husband does; his laughter just tickles me inside. His smiles (the genuine, natural smiles) light up my heart. If I see him excited about what he's doing or talking about and he is sharing his thoughts and excitement with ME(!), I feel special. He texts me here and there with 'I LOVE YOU', hearts and smileys, just to let me know he's thinking of me. You know what makes me really happy? When he is spontaneous! It really does makes me happy! When out of the blue he stands up with a clap and a smile and says "Come on! Let's go for a walk!". or "Let's order a pizza tonight!", I feel like a happy child. I would say that it's a combination of his energy, his enthusiasm, his own visible excitement, his taking control of a situation (that doesn't NEED my input), and the spontaneity, all combined that sparks excitement and happiness in me!!
> Good luck and best wishes


To add onto this, I found the most success by starting up again with the fun things we did while dating. Romantic dinners are nice on occasion, but the walks, hiking, going to the video arcade, seeing a free concert, what ever it was you did that showed her you were a fun person to be around really upped her attraction to me. Be more like the guy that she fell in love with.


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