# Considering Divorce...



## confused2009 (Dec 5, 2013)

My husband and I were married in 2008. We met in the beginning of 2007 and dated for a year. After getting married we moved to a new state to begin our life together. i came into the marriage with one child and since being married we have had 3 kids. I am currently pregnant with our 4th. (5 kids altogether)

I am at the point however where I believe I want out of this marriage. Here is why. My husband is a liar. He's not a cheater, or a thief... but he is a liar. After getting married I found out that he had opened several bank accts. lines of credits and credit cards without my knowledge. They were all ran up and his credit was ruined. When it came time to buy a house I had to put it all on my credit because he had none. All of our utilities, bills, his car note, mine...everything is on my credit because his was ruined.

Then I found out that the college degree that he told me he had was also a lie. He never finished his bachelors degree even though he had been lying not only to me, but to his family and to his employers through the years about having a degree. This man lies about EVERYTHING.. Today (Wed) I ask him has he paid a bill.. "yeh.. I paid it in person last Friday" But yet I got a letter in the mail dated TUESDAY asking for payment. Small things, big things.. if he's talking... chances are he's telling a half truth, a no truth or a manipulated truth.. I have zero trust in anything this man says.. before I used to check his emails, his voicemails, his text messages all the time.. just to see what he was lying about.. now I don't care.. I don't care about his feelings, how he is doing. I'm mean half the time and I don't care. He'll say something and I'll reply.. "i don't believe you.. that must be another lie".. i can't pretend to hide my feelings of discontent toward him any longer.. 

Add to all of this the fact that in the 5 yrs we've been married he has has 5 jobs.. Currently on his 6th job, with spurts of unemployment in between up to 6mths to 13 mths at a time. I have carried this family through the entire marriage and I am tired of carrying a grown man financially who is an intense liar. At this point I resent him. I more than resent him. I literally can't stand him. I see the life that we have- that I have created and that he is enjoying, and I am irked. I don't make a lot of money and with a growing family what I do have is getting stretched thin but I can't rely on him for anything because his work history is so sporadic. Not to mention that when he is employed he makes less than half of what I do. I am not sure of what to do because our kids are young and they love their father but at this point I"m not sure that I do. He is in counseling for his lies...we have tried joint counseling before but this time I told him I wasn't going. this isn't MY issue... it's HIS. I resent him so much, I even resent his parents at this point because when I look at him I blame THEM for who he is To the point where I don't want my kids around them! I didn't get married to get divorced but I also didn't get married to be worse off than I was a single mother.. and that's exactly where I am right now.

how do i get past the hurt and learn to trust again? is it possible to regain trust with someone who has blatantly lied to you and their lies have hurt not just you but also the life that you are able to provide to your family?


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Okay, 5 kids....how are you going to support your family? Do you work? What happens then? You find another daddy for your children and baby #1 had how many daddies? 

So he is a liar, got it, my first husband was a liar too. Am I glad we divorced? Yes! as not only was he a liar, he was a cheat and he could not hold a job. What about counseling to help him with his issues instead?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

When did all the lies start coming out? Why did you keep having kids with a man that you resent so much?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## confused2009 (Dec 5, 2013)

Yes I do work.. I'm actually the only dependable income that we have to pay our bills. I make a good salary and have carried all of the household bills by myself several times throughout the marriage because he stays unemployed...

as to why I keep having babies ... that's an excellent question. I first started to get a glimpse into his lying nature after i had had my first child with him. We had been married less than 2 yrs and I was DONE. I packed everything i had and was ready to move. My mom and his parents insisted that we could work it out, marriage is forever, blah blah blah.. we started counseling.. 

Second pregnancy new lies.. new attempt to pack up and leave... more give it time advice from loved ones.. more attempts at counseling..

wash rinse repeat.. 

this time he is in counseling only I've refused to go. I told him that these are his issues not mine and he needs to work them out. not for me but for himself because right now he sucks as a man. 

i've been told that before you leave a marriage you need to develop an exit strategy. a plan of action. I'm working on that now.. any suggestions or advice please share.


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