# Question for men



## lovie (Feb 17, 2009)

So I read in this article that men never feel, or loose attraction for woman that they can controll. Thoes woman suddenly become less challanging, and they become more predictable, and often thats a turn off...and they loose respect for these woman

Now my partner had an affair on me one time, we are working to build the relationship back together, but sometimes I often feel like he knows me to well, and can predict me. I thought of backing off giving space, and doing my own thing, do you think this wil make him want me more seeing how men like to chase?

Its just wierd, lastnight, i started to nag, cought myself and realized instead of nagging, just talk. I made a joke, somehting about how i know he hates thoes "talkes" and prolly wishes i was submissive and not ask for a thing, and make him happy, and this and that ha ha. then he jokingly said" well i wouldnt mind if you were submissive" laughed. I think part of that is true but, what do you think about

1. doing my own thing
2.and having a submissive, predictable, do everything for you girl will make you lose attraction, or you loose respect for her?


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## fatherof3 (Jan 13, 2009)

I have pondered your question for a little while and this is my opinion, I think mixing a little of both would be the right combination..A submissive predictable woman sometimes but also a I'm my own woman kind of attitude too...Men do like to feel as if they have control in a relationship but we also need to see some well (balls)...As far as doing your own thing, if he is in love with you then yes he will chase you....just MHO...


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

How about just being the real you? 

If you try to be someone you're not, whether you are submissive and are trying to be more assertive, or if you're assertive and are trying to be sumissive.

I think you need to be yourself. I think people that try to be someone they're not, or mold to fit someone else's view of what is okay, normal, likeable, or good, then they end up unhappy in the end.

If you two are truly meant for each other, then neither one of you should have to change personality wise. People always compromise in a relationship, sure... but they don't try to change their deep set personality traits... 

Instead, you need to make sure you are with someone, who jives with you, who loves you as you are, and you him... you need to find someone who compliments your personality.

Just be yourself, no matter what that self is......


And yes, if you feel you need to have, or give some space, then I'd do that. Nothing wrong with it. And if you two are meant to be together, again... you will, in time.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Well my wife is both....

She does her own thing, sometimes it drives me NUTS, but I been with her 19 years, I fully expect it.

But I like her having her independence as well, we have three kids, She should not be my fourth, I do want her to take charge of things in the house, things that matter to the family as a whole, she should not need my permisiion nor feel guilty if she buys a new coat or clothes without asking me first.

But she is also submissive, she likes it when I control her sometimes, or when I just take her. It is a turn on for her, just to let go and let me do as I wish to her. It is a turn on for me as well, knowing my wife will give herself Fully to me.

but again this is built up over time, trust communication, etc.

MY wife is a smart, strong independent woman with a great career. But sometimes she likes to let go and be controlled, sometimes I do as well.

AS Marinia says, be yourself, I love my wife for who she IS, not what I want her to be.


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

And let's be real, often the man thinks he is running the show but the woman is. He can tell her what to do but she can calibrate her actions in non-verbal but highly effective ways. Oh the mind of woman....


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