# Confused please help



## starflower (Aug 25, 2009)

This could turn into quite a long story but please bear with me.

Tonight i told my husband of 8 years to leave. We were having a stupid row and i threw some towels, not at him, backwards over my shoulder, next thing i know hes pinning me to the floor with his hands on the top of my arms, pressing his forehead on mine really hard. I snapped, i can't take it anymore, it has happened before. When i was 5 months pregnant with our second child he forced me to the floor with his hands around my throat, and i forgave him, thena couple of years later he slapped me round the face, in between these times he has grabbed me and dragged me around by my arms or my legs.

i suffered from depression for 10 years and everytime we argued he always brought it up, telling me i was a nutter (his word) or that i was having a mental breakdown.

he wont work, i can't due to back problems and severe tension headaches

i've just taken my two kids to stay with my mum, just so i know they'll be safe. he wont stop texting me.

trouble is i dont know if i'm strong enough to make him stay away. i know it sounds stupid but i love him so much, but at the same time i'm so scared. please someone help, i dont know what to do


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Call a women's hotline. You have suffered abuse. You will probably need to call the police and document the abuse. You have fear for a good reason. Please remember "the real 'him' " is both the repentant, "loving" man and the raging abuser. You cannot have one without the other and you and YOUR CHILDREN are at risk. Abuse escalates. It's been documented again and again. 

Doesn't matter that you love him right now; you are a victim of abuse and need protection from HIM. You will get counseling that helps rebuild your self-esteem and one day you will look back in total shock that you thought you loved someone who treated you like this. God bless and stay safe. Call that hotline NOW.


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## starflower (Aug 25, 2009)

thanks for your reply.

i guess i just didn't want to believe it, i've tried to condone these things, convincing myself that its my fault, or that its not that bad, it was abuse that started the depression and i can't bear the fact that i've let it happen again.

thank-you again


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## polkadot (Aug 26, 2009)

Hi
Seriously, you cannot condone your H behaviour, this IS abuse and you need to remove yourself and your children and stay removed. You have done the right thing!

Call a helpline, do some research on the net about both physical and emotional abuse.

The only way your H will change is if he chooses to get help, you cannot bank on that day coming. Yes, you love the man you thought he was, but that man is gone, think of your H as a ghost and mourn the loss of the man you loved, because one cannot exist without the other at this time.

Hugs.


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## srena200 (Jul 13, 2009)

Can you Say CHRIS BROWN? I am astonished at the majority of these posts that people express they own problem and then ask members .....what the problem is. He is abusive, aggressive, and could really do some damage the next time. A man who puts his hand on the weaker sex is a P-U-N-K. He cannot handle the situation with maturity - so he handles it with violence. That is the language he speaks. That is who you married


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