# Is My Wife Bi-Polar



## lesterearl (Aug 1, 2014)

Is My Wife Bipolar?
Two mounts ago my wife was diagnosed as being bipolar and is now taking lithium and latuda (mood stabilizer). Taking this medication she is not the same person, she is very lethargic, forgetful and is hard to have a conversation with. I thought after a month or so of taking the medication she may get better but she is not.

We have been married for 13 years and we have 2 boys (11 & 8). We were both raised in catholic families and attended Catholic Church. Five years ago see started going to a non-denominational church and really tried to get me to go with her. I tried it and it just wasn’t for me but she really feels that she gets more out of her new church than at the Catholic Church. Long story short we went our separate ways with religion in our marriage and family. The boys go to church with her on the weekends that I work (I work shift work) and come to catholic church with me on the Sundays I’m off. Just to mention ours sons have been in catholic school since pre-k. Over the last couple of years her personality has changed dramatically. She has become very strict with the boys, very little TV, no games, Christian music only, etc. Our social life is nonexistent. 

Six months ago she began not being able to sleep at night. She would get out of bed and go in the closet and kneel on the ground for hours during the night. Three months ago I asked her to try and get more sleep and not pray as much during the night. She did not stop getting up at night and things got worse. She got to a point where she could not go to sleep at all and started to have bi-polar symptoms. She would cry and call for God to take her, she would sit outside and stare into the sky for hours, she had visions about something bad happing to our youngest son, etc. This behavior went on for a week and I contacted her mother and sisters and let them know that something had to be done. We all decided to take to the emergency room and she agreed it was time to do something about her behavior.

The hospital admitted her into a behavioral hospital for ten days. They diagnosed her as being bi-polar and put her on the medication. She does sleep at night now but does not accept the diagnoses. She keeps saying that her behavior is spiritual and medicine is not the answer. I believe she has a religious addiction.

Symptoms of religious addiction:
1.	Black-and-white, good/bad, either/or simplistic thinking: one way or the other
2.	Shame-based belief that you aren't good enough or you aren't doing it right
3. Magical thinking that God will fix you/ do it all, without serious work on your part
4. Scrupulosity: rigid obsessive adherence to rules, codes of ethics, or guidelines
5. Uncompromising judgmental attitudes: readiness to find fault or evil out there
6. Compulsive or obsessive praying, going to church or crusades, quoting scripture
7. Unrealistic financial contributions
8. Believing that sex is dirty; believing our bodies or physical pleasures are evil
9. Compulsive overeating and/or excessive fasting
10. Conflict and argumentation with science, medicine, and education
11. Progressive detachment from the real work, isolation and breakdown of relationships
12. Psychosomatic illness: back pains, sleeplessness, headaches, hypertension
13. Manipulating scripture or texts, feeling specially chosen, claiming to receive special messages from God
14. Maintaining a religious "high", trance-like state, keeping a happy face (or the belief that one should...)
15. Attitude of righteousness or superiority: "we versus the world," including the denial of one's human-ness.
16. Confusion, great doubts, mental, physical or emotional breakdown, cries for help

I can make a very strong case against her having every one of these symptoms. The PA that prescribes her medication says that she may never be able to get off the medication. I believe the medication may be necessary now, but I think if she will admit to the religious addiction maybe she can overcome this problem she is having. I told her about the religious addiction and she refuses to admit it’s a problem. To her it sounds too much like she would be giving up on God. She will only go to Christian based counselors and I have told them what I believe is the problem but they seem to not hear me so I am stuck wondering what to do next. She is no doubt the love of my life and I would really like to have her back. Thanks for any advice


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

No one here can diagnose her. Have you considered getting a second opinion?

Generally a mentally healthy person does not fall into a "religious addiction". There has to be a problem to start with. 

Some bi-polar people supper psychosis. It can look at lot like schizophrenia in some sever cases.

Is your wife taking care of your children? Is she a SAHM?


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## lesterearl (Aug 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> No one here can diagnose her. Have you considered getting a second opinion?
> 
> Generally a mentally healthy person does not fall into a "religious addiction". There has to be a problem to start with.
> 
> ...


She does clean the house and try to take care of the boys but I have to come behind her and keep an eye on things. I don't know what SAHM stands for?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SAHM = stay at home mom

My concern is whether or not the children are safe with her. I have a nephew who has similar problems. He was first diagnosed schizophrenic. Then later they said it was probably bi-polar with psychotic episodes. There is no way I'd leave any child his care.

He got into the religious stuff as well. His was different in that when he's experiencing psychosis he thinks that he is evolving into a god.

But your wife was wishing that she would be taken away.. meaning die. That's dangerous stuff.


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## lesterearl (Aug 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> SAHM = stay at home mom
> 
> My concern is whether or not the children are safe with her. I have a nephew who has similar problems. He was first diagnosed schizophrenic. Then later they said it was probably bi-polar with psychotic episodes. There is no way I'd leave any child his care.
> 
> ...


She works but is fortunate to be able to take off when needed. The people she works with understands what she is going through and supports her very much.

I don't think she wants to die but at times I think she thinks heaven is a great place and she can't wait to get there. When we admitted her I thought she could hurt her self or maybe the kids. Not intentional but to save them from evil things that she was thinking could happen to them.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lesterearl said:


> She works but is fortunate to be able to take off when needed. The people she works with understands what she is going through and supports her very much.
> 
> I don't think she wants to die but at times I think she thinks heaven is a great place and she can't wait to get there. When we admitted her I thought she could hurt her self or maybe the kids. Not intentional but to save them from evil things that she was thinking could happen to them.


This is what I'm talking about. Were I you, I would not leave the children in her care.

Are you monitoring her medication on a daily basis?


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## lesterearl (Aug 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> This is what I'm talking about. Were I you, I would not leave the children in her care.
> 
> Are you monitoring her medication on a daily basis?


Yes, I do check her medication but I can't baby sit her 24/7.
I am trying hard to get her to see a medical doctor to get a second opinion on the meds she is taking. They have some serious side effects


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes they do have serious side effects. Mental illness is a very hard thing to deal with and to treat.

Is her family giving you enough support?


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