# Sex during separation



## DidThat (Jan 5, 2014)

Good day all,
I am new to the forum and need some advise / insight to help me not to damage my falling apart marriage any further.

Been in relationship with my wife for almost 20 years and have a kid. I was an overprotective partner and jealous for years that done significant damage to our relationship and mental health. Been to counselling, medication and support group for two years and have changed a lot but even though we've had very amazing sexual relationship for a period of 10 months during last year we started talking about temporary separation, she wanted space, and we agreed for her to move out but then changed her mind and instead pushed me to leave the house. I finally moved out, which I made mistake doing so by having a big fight the day I moved out (I couldn't leave house with a smile and kiss, had to pick a fight). 
Anyway during few months whenever I visited home she was really nice but I was always angry when it came to say goodbye again. 
I moved in with my family again due to financial reason recently and agreed this would be temporary. When we're discussing the situation she always says even though I have rid of most of my negative traits and am very desirable as partner but she needs a miracle to make her love me as she is not attracted to me!! During this time we had sex (casual sex) and she is very relax around me sleeping in the same bed with me hugging her or kissing her both of us fully naked, but she is refusing any advances I make for sex and she never touches me. 
I am quite tired of analyzing two conflicting thing: Not wanting sex versus enjoying me touching and attending her.
We have been on date nights and enjoyed spending time together but I never made any moves on those nights as I didn't want to ruin the night in case she says no sex, which may follow up by revisiting the past.

We are getting professional help but, my question is in your opinion / experience :
Would sex or advances be helpful in working on our relationship giving her assurance that I am still attracted to / love her despite all bitterness of separation? or Should I give her space and give separation a chance to probably start fresh without acting needy when ready if not ending up fully divorced.

Thanks


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Go dark. Let her call you, and when she does, and you go over there be happy the whole time youmare there. Act as though youmcould care less if you have sex or not.

Or maybe move home, and if she wants to be separated let her find a place to live.

Either or both ways are better than what you are doing now.


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## DidThat (Jan 5, 2014)

Thound said:


> Go dark. Let her call you, and when she does, and you go over there be happy the whole time youmare there. Act as though youmcould care less if you have sex or not.
> 
> Or maybe move home, and if she wants to be separated let her find a place to live.
> 
> Either or both ways are better than what you are doing now.


Thanks for the advise.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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