# Celibacy for a full year



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Looks like I may be celibate for a full year after all
Should have just kept my mouth shut and just banged someone else without telling her but now NO... I just HAD to be honest didn't I? I just had to have made a promise didn't I? Sh-t

Any hints on dealing with the lack of physical touch and lack of release? How about the temptation of other women? How about dealing with my mates who insist that I need to get laid lest I go crazy - think I'm already nuts. Hell this sucks


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## BigMac (Oct 29, 2012)

One year and you haven't moved on ??? C'mon man !

Why did she dumped you and what is she doing now ?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

We only just seperated a month or so ago

She made me promise to keep it in my pants and to give her another chance however I don't see how it's really going to work - I can't feel sh-t towards her no more. I'm only giving her a chance for the sake of giving her a chance as she said herself if things don't change she'll be able to let go but feels we still have a chance so whatever...

That means, because I'm nice, now I have to be celibate until I can legally divorce her.


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## BigMac (Oct 29, 2012)

Why did you broke up ?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

We're a toxic couple, she used the D word, and I put the D into overdrive. Only to have to wait a fking year before we can divorce (laws here). She broke down and said she still loves me and wants another chance, yadda yadda, I pitied her. But I don't love her. I'm wondering if I can fall back in love but I doubt it, still, I'm open for surprises but I'm not holding my breath

Besides a quick split doesn't seem to be in her best interests considering how she broke down but she did mention that we don't change then she will be able to move on so I'm giving her this. Sucks though, cause that means celibacy. *sigh*


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

If you didn't love her, you wouldn't have agreed to that. Despite all your mouthiness about not loving her and whatnot, I fully believe you are in fact in love with her still.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## indica (Nov 27, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> If you didn't love her, you wouldn't have agreed to that. Despite all your mouthiness about not loving her and whatnot, I fully believe you are in fact in love with her still.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

Sounds like you both decided to try and make it work. If you half-ass it you'll be unhappy all year, so either try with both balls or stop waffling.
Get into a pro-marriage counselor and work on fixing your snnnit, individual snit and couple too.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

People break promises all the time.

Every divorce is at least two big broken promises right there.

Go ahead, go get laid, you have my express written permission.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Just another case of going from one dramatic extreme to another. Have you guys ever thought of just taking things day by day, and let things calm down? Focus on going a week without someone flying off the handle?

C


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> If you didn't love her, you wouldn't have agreed to that. Despite all your mouthiness about not loving her and whatnot, I fully believe you are in fact in love with her still.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


RD, I soooo agree with Pidge on this! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

PBear that sounds on cue. They do seem to be extreme to extreme. Thinking about sh.t for a whole year? Why don't they let the proceeding take place, and use the year to go day by day. THAT'S WHY they have the year rule in place.... use it ppl. 

I agree. I think DK is very well in the love mode with her... I think he's fighting it. Either consciously or subconsciously. At least that what it looks like to me going by a few posts I've read.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

People are celibate sometimes.

It is do able.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

chattycathy said:


> People are celibate sometimes.
> 
> It is do able.


Some people are vegetarians. 

Not eating meat is do able too.

I love steak and I'll never give it up.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

LOL! Well if I love her I wouldn't be wanting to bang other women, I made this stupid promise out of pity. I know this feeling very well, it's not love, it's the same feeling I had with my ex gf before my STBX about 7-8 years ago. I thought it was love but it wasn't, and it took me months to get rid of her because I was not sure. Now I am, and I won't make the same mistake with my STBX and lead HER on

As for letting things calm down they were calm for a while, until I opened up the sex during seperation topic and then she jumped on my ass and eventually broke down yesterday. I should have just done it and not say anything sure, less dramas that way, besides I could have got away with it too considering she gave me free reign - well... sort of, more like she said she was going to give me free reign and tried to test me with it. 

I rejected her offer then, but as I realised there's no longer any point to our marriage, I opened up the topic again, only to have her break down and whatever. I don't know, maybe I SHOULD just step out and fk this. But as you said, yes, I told her that I'll give us a shot, not really - more like giving us some TIME. But this will take a while, I'm not letting us get back together until I know I love her but I know I don't, and probably won't by the time I can finally get rid of her.

I don't know what I got myself into, hell maybe to be fair, so give it 3 months or so? At least it's more bearable than a year yes?


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Screw that!

Quiet literally.

Screw it!

Screw it HARD!

I know I'm gonna.

:smthumbup:


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