# Wife Says she needs some time alone and space



## cdegarmo (Jan 27, 2010)

Hi, I am 33 years old and have been married to my lovely wife for 21/2 years. We have been together for a total of 5 years. Her dad (which she was very close to) passed away one day before our first anniversary (Aug 08). Then in August of last year we decided to move out of our house and rent in for financial reasons. We moved in with her mom las August. Over the past year we have had your typical marriage arguments but nothing reall major. Also we have been trying to have a baby for the last 2 years with no luck. Since we have moved into her Mom's house we have been going out more....dinner even to some local bars. Neither of us really have many freinds except for some at our jobs. She occasionally goes out with work friends for drinks after work. Just last week she dropped the bombshell on me and said that she doesn't love me like she use to. I was divistated and stayed at my Dad's last week because she said she needs time. Since then on Monday we decided for me to move out and give her space. We lost all of our Privacy since moving in with her Mom. I did ask if she wanted me to take clothes or ALL my stuff and she said just Clothes.....She said it is better for us to spend time apart and we can't do it in front of her Mother, so thats when we decided for me to stay at my Dad's. She did tell me that its not over and we need to take it day by day. I really feel with everything that is going on in her life ( losing her Dad, living back at home, not getting pregnant) has put her into a big depression stage.........I don't know if it makes things better or worse for me to call or send text message. CAN ANYBODY GIVE ME SOME ADVICE THROUGH THIS TOUGH TIME


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## AlexNY (Dec 10, 2009)

cdegarmo said:


> ... Then in August of last year we decided to move out of our house and rent in for financial reasons. We moved in with her mom las August.


Your ability to provide for your family is a huge part of what makes you attractive to a woman. Moving in with mom to save money does not make you the confident, strong, dependable, dominant man that woman are looking for. Did sex life decline along with financial problems?



> Just last week she dropped the bombshell on me and said that she doesn't love me like she use to.


This is another version of "love you but not in love with you." It means she is either (unconsciously) looking for a replacement or has already found one.



> She did tell me that its not over and we need to take it day by day.


Eat cake and keep it too. Very common when transitioning from husband to lover. Keep husband on ice "just in case" while trying for a better nest.

Sorry.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Did you mean that she is 21 years old?


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## cdegarmo (Jan 27, 2010)

No she is 26 and we have been married 2 1/2 years


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

She's been going out. She's realized that she is missing out on 'fun.' Most likely guys have been hitting on her, maybe even more. 

You won't recover your marriage if you are apart. Find a way to move back in together, somewhere, or you may as well just give up.


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## mrcow (Jan 27, 2010)

as much as I hate to say that, I agree to other responses. she's drifting away from you. Sorry, mate, but AlexNY may have hit the bullseye here when saying "Very common when transitioning from husband to lover. Keep husband on ice "just in case" while trying for a better nest."

Sorry, indeed. It's hard to elaborate on causes, but results look rather clear, I've been through this.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You need to be back in the same place together to fix the marriage.


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