# Am I too kind?



## ImperfectMomma (May 2, 2012)

I am wondering if I am too kind....I have been told repeatedly through this whole horrible situation that I am. That I am too easy on him. Is this a bad thing? As a recap, H cheated on me twice during our marraige, once was recent. He shows no remorse. He actually started the A after we started MC with a 21 year old (he's 37). Everything I have ever known is gone (I have been with him since I was 16). It's over. I have come to terms with this although I am not happy about it. During all of this, both of my parents have passed away (54 years old each). Maybe I am so lenient bc of that although I don't think so. I don't want to have a bad relationship with him not only because of our kids but because I don't want the drama and hate. He still hasn't moved out so I deal with him everyday. Don't misunderstand, he does things on a regular basis that make me soooo angry and I tell him about it but I just want to get through this without regrets. Has anyone else felt like they were being too kind? Been told by others?


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## SCsweety81 (Sep 27, 2012)

I've always been too kind, especially to my STBXH. It has gotten me no where, real fast. In fact, I think he's even mentioned to me that he knows he can take advantage of me, because I constantly allow it. That's incredibly sad

Like you, I've walked on egg shells in order to maintain peace (which is a joke, in itself). It makes the moving on part SO much more difficult. I started the 180, last weekend, in an effort to focus on myself and repair myself. NC is a far cry from the approach I had taken in the beginning of the separation, and there's no doubt my STBXH has noticed and questioned my motives.

Show him you're not okay with being plan B. Cut him off. Don't talk to him, don't clean for him, don't cook for him. Be your own plan A and realize what a loser he is, and how much more you deserve. Stop proving to him that you'll always be there to catch him when he falls. Let him hit the ground one time, because it WILL happen - believe that. 

Be strong, girl. Weakness is not attractive.


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