# caught her cheating



## turok (Aug 10, 2011)

Well heres the jist of it .... We have a 3.5 year relationship she started an EA with some guy in a diff state over the phone . Our relationship was getting bumpy i wasnt treating her right and she ended up going to see this guy and slept with the guy. Over about a month she saw the guy off and on. I found out about it packed my stuff up left and exposed the relationship as i had learned from this website.. I had no contact with her and after a cpl weeks passed she contacts me to talk .
I go talk to her she admits how much she messed up and how sorry she was and that she is in love with me and wants to make it work and promised to not have any more contact with this guy. so i give it a chance..
I have been having a hard time gettin the affair out of my head and it is affecting me/us.. But i know its going to take time.. Well i found out she is still talking to him. What do i do ?


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

If she's still talking to him, she's trying to have you as a nice back up plan. 

I hope you don't have kids with her?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I remember you, this is your previous thread:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/29735-i-think-she-cheating.html

And you had these factors:



turok said:


> 1.A new friend she talks too on the phone a lot . She wont keep her phone far away from her watches it like a hawk.
> 2.She tells me she wants space all of the sudden..
> 3.She wants to go on vacations without me .
> 4. She has lost 14lbs on the treadmill out of nowhere. The only time she has ever been on the treadmill to lose weight was when I first met her.(seems like she was losing weight then to attract me) It has sat for years in the corner covered in dust since we got together.
> ...


and this....



turok said:


> Signs i listed above.
> We arent seperated but we are on and off per say.
> 3 years
> One kid but I am not the father.
> ...


So you did finally find out that it is a PA, so your gut was right. She was going out of town to bang this OM. She wanted R, probably because reality was hitting her or the thrill of the A was gone because you found out.

You then seperated and she wanted R and promised NC. Now you found out that she broke NC. Ok. You have only been married 3 years, and have no kids with her. If you're still having sex with her, stop it immediately. Don't risk getting her pregnant. You gave her a shot at R and she basically stomped on it. Its time to kick her to the curb. Otherwise you are just going to be a cuckold and she will cheat on you again and again. Kick her to the curb before you waste anymore of your life with her. This is definitely a woman that you don't want to have kids with.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Since you don't have kids with her, you should thank your lucky stars and hit the road. In this case, two strikes means you're out.


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Cant say it any better than these two! good luck and sorry u have to go through this.

She blew it. Shhhheeeeesssss OUT!


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

She told you what you wanted to hear, and you are her safety net.
Take yourself out of the equation and find someone worthy of your life.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

lordmayhem in a post above summed it well for you.

You have one child who is not yours.

She keeps doing the same thing.

Unless you enjoy sharing her with others, I suggest you let her go and do what she must. There is no way you can control her impulses (without going to jail).

Let her go. Let her do what she really wants. That's the best way to show your love.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

turok said:


> I go talk to her she admits how much she messed up and how sorry she was and that she is in love with me and wants to make it work and promised *to not have any more contact with this guy*. so i give it a chance.
> 
> ...Well i found out she is still talking to him. What do i do ?


End game. Tell her you are done. No third chances. Tell her you deserve better. Over. Finito. No mas. 

Move on to be free. And free to find someone who will commit to you and only you. You did a major thing by giving her another chance and she pissed on it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh oh oh and ... get tested for STDs.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

And I hope she didn't just come back because she missed a period.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

It is a deal breaker. Time to move on and don't look back. You better hope she is not pregnant.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

I agree with Mayhem how many more broken promises are you willing to endure?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I'm all for chances, but in your case the chance for her to prove her self was broken, now its time to move on with out her, knowing in your heart, a chance was given and *she* failed not you.


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