# weird seperation story.. just need to vent



## sadwife2014 (Mar 31, 2014)

but I would love advice/insight..

Here is my story: my husband and I have been married since 2011. My husband is in prison but he is due to be released in May of this year (pretty much next month) all along we have had a rocky relationship where no one has been supportive and I was always told my husband was doing horrible things behind my back (writing other women etc.) 
My husband has 2 daughters from a previous relationship, they are 14 and 13. They do not like me nor does their mother. Their mother has caused chaos in our relationship by saying my husband was making flirty comments with her etc. and the daughters have sent me nasty messages on facebook. I grew resentful of them because I just wanted to be respected, they don't have to like me but I am who he is with now atleast treat me like a person please. 
The daughters' mother allows these little girls to do what they please (they take risqué pictures for facebook, have had sex) and I have informed my husband of this since he wasn't aware. That was a mistake on my part - they are his daughters he will love them regardless.
His plan for parole was to come and live with me, I live in a different part of the state then his family. I felt guilty so I told him why don't you live near your daughters and I will come see you on weekends - we will make this work. He got upset and I was like hey.. they need their father they are 14 going on 21 they need a male influence I feel like I am taking away somebody's father from them and he just blew.
He hung up on me and the next day he told me it was over he was done with me and I made him feel horrible. He said he was filling for divorce and he was going to cancel our upcoming conjugal visit. Well I ended up cancelling the visit and the caseworker was like well why are you cancelling and I just said because we are getting divorced. Apparently the caseworker approached my husband and was like oh how convenient you are about to get out and now you decide to divorce your wife! 

my husband has been calling his nephews GF and I am not sure of their conversations but she was telling me he would call her for hours and vent how he is upset about me and "my big mouth I always tell everyone our marital problems". I told her please leave me alone I don't care to hear about him. Then two days later another one of his "friends" began texting me the friend was like you are a real loyal girl I would love to spend time with you (pushing up on me). I spoke with him a few days then he told me if I messed up my husband's release date that "something would happen" I wrote my husband a letter and informed him of the situation, the friend called me and informed me that I can't hide behind my husband on everything anymore and that my husband did tell him to stop speaking to me. I changed my number because I wanted away from these people. 5 days later my husband called and informed me I need to file for a divorce because it will be done faster if I filed it would take him too much time. I wrote my husband my daily thoughts, apologized for the role I played in this separation, he wasn't calling and I wanted to just tell him my thoughts. He was reading my letters - none of them came back return to sender and him telling his friend what I said was proof he was reading.

fast forward 10 days later - my husband calls me to thank me for a letter I wrote him where I stated "we don't have to be together but come up here and let me help you start your life over. at the end of the day you are my husband and I still care" he said that he was going to be fine and he hopes I was doing good too. I acted nonchalant and said I was, I told him about how I got a new car and a new office at work. I was about to cry so I let him go, I told him I had another call but I didn't I locked myself in my bathroom and cried. He called back 10 minutes later but I did not answer. He called back later and asked if I filed for divorce yet. I said no, if you want it you do it. I tried to fill out papers but I emotionally can't do it. He said he can't do it either it would be finalized after he was released and he doesn't have time. I said well why don't you do it after you get released he said it wasn't one of his priorities. He then went on about how he can't trust anyone in his life anymore, I am a liar and his nephews GF is a liar as well. that was 3/21
I haven't heard from him since. What do I Do? Do I file? Do I wait for him to come around? I am at a stand still. I just can't believe after everything we have been through together, this is how it all ends.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm sorry. The whole thing seems like an episode (or two) of Jerry Springer. 

He doesn't have time to file for divorce? What else does he have to do all day for the next month?

How long have you two been married? How long has he been in prison? Is this his first time in prison? Do you have kids together? How old are you two?

Frankly, if my daughter came to me with this story, I'd be setting her up with a divorce lawyer ASAP, and paying for it gladly. Your husband did something that messed you guys up, and he doesn't seem all that sorry about how this has impacted you. He's not grateful for you remaining with him through all of this, and doesn't appreciate that you're trying to support him after he's out. So I'd be saying goodbye. 

But maybe that's the cynical me...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadwife2014 (Mar 31, 2014)

PBear said:


> I'm sorry. The whole thing seems like an episode (or two) of Jerry Springer.
> 
> He doesn't have time to file for divorce? What else does he have to do all day for the next month?
> 
> ...


I am 27, he is 33. We got married in 2011 shortly after he went in. We have no children together. He has two from a previous relationship and I have two from a previous relationship. This isn't his first time in jail but this is the longest (4.5 years). The first time was for a year.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How long did you two know each other before he went in?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadwife2014 (Mar 31, 2014)

PBear said:


> How long did you two know each other before he went in?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


a year
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

It just seems like a bad idea all over. You didn't know each other that well before you got married. He's been in prison for the entire time you've been married. He doesn't seem to be that eager to stay married to you. 

Again, not meaning to be condescending... But if you were my daughter, I'd be doing everything I could to get you out of there ASAP. Before you get tied to him for 18 years by having a child with him. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

The first year in prison did not make an impression on him. He got 4.5 years for what?

This guy does not sound like a good life partner. Hope you were not attracted to him because is a bad boy.


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