# This time of night



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Sorry for being sappy but right now I'm really missing checking on my kids, tucking my wife into bed. The quiet where I'm staying is so overwhelming.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## theniceguyy (Dec 16, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Sorry for being sappy but right now I'm really missing checking on my kids, tucking my wife into bed. The quiet where I'm staying is so overwhelming.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


+1. Day 2 of being my new place. Very strange. Miss my kid. Miss my ex. But its for the best, kinda bitter sweet. Time heals all wounds.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

How old is your child? I have an 8 year old son and 5 year old daughter. We've been separated two months, I've had my ups and downs
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## theniceguyy (Dec 16, 2011)

9, about to turn 10. My ex, gave me ILYBNILWY speech. Nothing I could really do, just accepted it. After alot of reading, I understand that I can not change how someone feels, just need to deal with it and move forward. Fate is a strange thing.


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## lostintheworld1 (Aug 7, 2011)

Siiiigh. This is also the toughest time of night for me. I lay here wishing I could just snuggle her one last time. Wishing I could feel her sleeping next to me. To know without a doubt that she had my back and I hers. Missing all the thoughts, dreams and aspirations that we had for our life together. Wanting to grow old holding her hand in rockings chairs on the porch. Regretting the death of the dream of our marriage and life together. Regretting letting my family, her family and all our friends down. I hate what I did to cause this but I hate that she left even more.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

How you doing today OP?
How often do you get to see your kids?
It must be really tough for you.
Hang on in there and think about something really fun you can do with them next time you see them.
If I am correct you are not far out from dday? I am 8 months in. Please believe me it does get easier. The heartbreak is still there but that debilitating crushing feeling in your chest eases.
I miss my H desperately at night too but I am lucky I have my children. I will never understand why he has chosen to walk away from a wife who loves him totally and his 3 lovely children. I think he will be sorry one day.
Hope you have a good day. X
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Feel good movies.
Try The Station Agent, and The Visitor, also Lars and the Real Girl, Bonneville, The Middle of the Road, Close to Eden...
You'd think that watching feel-good movies would be dangerous, in an edgy state of mind, but these are comforting as to the human condition, they're about connection. And when you are home alone and missing your 'tribe' you need reinforcement that it exists, and what better mode of doing this than our collective history, in the form of storytelling (movies).


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Proud, Niceguy, Lost, 
I'm sorry your missing the kids, mine are what keeps me going w/ him walking away. I wish my husband would show some signs of missing the home/me/us/the kids. 
He was suppose to show up and see one of our older kids at her place of work (he was a no show) and she was hurt. She cried and said she felt like such baby but it really hurt her feelings because she is one of the older ones that has reached out to him.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I have not slept at all since I kicked the STBXW out. I miss her and hate her at the same time. Lots of crying, followed by manic cleaning and organizing, followed by depressed lethargy and back to balling my eyes out. Its been better since I started working out, the tiredness helps me sleep.

Made the mistake the other night of watching a French movie called "Leaving" where a housewife just ups and leaves her hubby and kids for an ex-con. Hubby does a hard 180 on her and she ends up shooting him to death and running off with the OM.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

I hear all of you. After a surprisingly good week adjusting, I am really missing my wife this weeks. I am looking forward to selling the house now... I think it will make difference in closing this chapter of my life, and starting in a new place.

Thing is, I'm trying to come to terms with what and who I am missing. My stbxw has changed - she is not all about herself, her career and has become very selfish (and proud of that). I do miss out better times, holding her close, waking up with her, and the comfort, routine, security and stability that came with better days. The future is a bit scary, but exciting at the same time. 

I should be packing and sorting through my stuff in anticipation of selling the house, but I am just not in the mood.

All any of us can do is accept the hard time, like these, but move forward, always.

I'm off for my walk soon... always does a lot of good. Treating myself to a couple of cheeseburgers tonight too, and a "Hell on Wheels" mini-marathon. I'm actually looking forward to work tomorrow, just to keep busy and take my mind of missing the better days. Still hard to see my stbxw seemingly so happy to be single and independent. No idea if she is or has been seeing someone... but that's the thing... at this point, it doesn't matter anymore. I cannot trust her again emotionally, and she's faked it through this relationship for too long, even when I believed we were in a really good place. To her? "Faking it until she could make it" and just "trying".

Not the authenticity and honesty I want in a relationship. Onto better days, and better women. I know I bring a lot to a relationship, and somewhere out there there's a great match for me (and vice versa). Although I am not ready for that now, I am really looking forward to it.

Have a great Sunday.


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## 1dayatatime (Feb 19, 2012)

You are still fresh to sep. as it's only been a couple of months. I'm just over a year. I do agree it does get easier as time goes on. You are mourning the loss of your marriage among other things (friendship, children, home, pets, etc). It's like grieving the death of someone however they are still up and walking around. I do have my days where I get down for no real reason and stay there for awhile. Throw in a scary movie. nothing to get you down in those, or a comedy. Don't watch the sappy ones. I agree on the treating yourself thing. I'm still learning that one as I always gave everyone everything and never did anything for myself.


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## worrieddad (Nov 3, 2011)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Feel good movies.
> Try The Station Agent, and The Visitor, also Lars and the Real Girl, Bonneville, The Middle of the Road, Close to Eden...
> You'd think that watching feel-good movies would be dangerous, in an edgy state of mind, but these are comforting as to the human condition, they're about connection. And when you are home alone and missing your 'tribe' you need reinforcement that it exists, and what better mode of doing this than our collective history, in the form of storytelling (movies).


Talking of movies, I just watched 'Crazy Stupid Love'; thought that it was very pertinent and inspirational


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## GoodLove (Feb 19, 2012)

I'm really sad too.


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

I am on the fence about telling my husband I am not happy and want to leave. Then I read your posts and I do not want to put him thru this pain. The sad thing is I don't want to be unhappy either. I have been through a great deal with him. He had an affair. He put us in bankruptcy years ago. I forgave it all but now he is just unavailable emotionally. I will have to do something soon. It's tough living like this but it doesn't seem any better afterwards.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Cogo123 said:


> I am on the fence about telling my husband I am not happy and want to leave. Then I read your posts and I do not want to put him thru this pain. The sad thing is I don't want to be unhappy either. I have been through a great deal with him. He had an affair. He put us in bankruptcy years ago. I forgave it all but now he is just unavailable emotionally. I will have to do something soon. It's tough living like this but it doesn't seem any better afterwards.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I would not wish this experience on anyone. It has been hell. 

If there is hope for you marriage, I urge you to work on things. Have you seen an MC yet?


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

canguy66 said:


> I would not wish this experience on anyone. It has been hell.
> 
> If there is hope for you marriage, I urge you to work on things. Have you seen an MC yet?


Or grab some self-help marriage books Gottman is supposed to be great. I bought it too late to help me. Once you go there and tell him it's so hard to go back. It is pure hell.


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