# I am not confused anymore



## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

I posted on her last week that I had made a mistake and that I had made a mistake and that i wanted my ex girlfriend back. I have thought about it for the past week and I have decided that the girl that I have been seeing for the last year that wanted to take a break is the person that I love. I am sorry if you don't beleive me but I have done a lot of soul searching in the past week.

I have been in contact with the one who wants to take a break and she still wants to take the break. She texted me and said please let us take a break for a while. She said that the incident where my ex girlfriend showed up at my apt emotionally hurt her and caused her to lose faith in me. She keeps saying that se need a break and that i need to decide if she is what ai want and need. She is what I want and need. She also said that she knows i have probably been talking to other women since we have been broke up and I haven't. She said in her text that does she like the thought of me talking to other women and she said no she don't like the thought of it. I have no desire to talk to other women. I really don't have any desire to talk to other women. I want to work it out with her.

We had a good talk today and I told her I was sorry that my ex showed up at the apt and caused this all to happen. I have tried to overcome this incident and I can't. I don't know what else to do but give her a break and I am doing that cause I do want her back and I will do anything cause I really love her. Please don't judge me to hard for being confused. My dad is dying from prostate cancer and that has really caused me to make some crazy irrational decisions and I think it is contributing to me flip flopping with these women. I want the one back I have dated for teh past year. She loves me and she said our relationship has been the best she has ever had but the incident at my apt where my ex make the currrent girlfriend think I was dating her caused a really big mess and confused my current taking a break girlfriend.

So i am giving her the break she wants starting now! What do i need to do to make this break work and to get her to miss me and to give us another chance? I really think that she wants to give us another chance but she has to overcome what happend at my apt. I have told her during our last conversation how much that I love here and that no matter what she does that I won't be seeing anyone else. and i won't because i know where my heart is. I guess i need to do the 180 ? I want to give her time to miss me and to think about us. I don't want her to forgeet me and to move on. I am so confused as what to do because i have screwed up enough and I just need to know what to do now? I am really depressed and can't stop thinking about her for not even one second. 

So if during this break she texts me or reaches out should I respond? Should not contact her no matter what unless she contacts me first? I told her that if she ever needs anything to let me know. Should I send a text once a week and say hi and keep the communication open or should I just be done until I hear from her? Please help me!


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## rsersen (Jan 30, 2013)

> I guess i need to do the 180 ?


Yes. You've said your piece. She knows what she wants. Give her the space to figure out what she wants.



> So if during this break she texts me or reaches out should I respond?


You can respond if she initiates contact. If she wants to talk about your relationship, then do it. Just don't bring it up on your own - she needs to want to talk about it.



> Should not contact her no matter what unless she contacts me first?


Correct.



> Should I send a text once a week and say hi and keep the communication open


Nope. She knows you exist. If she wants to talk to you, she has your number.


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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

I just want her to listen to me and let me fix this with her. I am so afraid she will never miss me and not come back to me. I really love her and need to fix this. I have really tried but in her mind she thinks I was seeing my ex and I wasn't. All of the other blogs and sites on internet say to give space when they ask and leave them alone to sit and ponder and start to miss you and to decide if they value u in their life


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

thats pretty much it.
otherwise you will likely come across as a needy whiner.
let it lie for a bit.


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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

She went from loving me to being majorly confused! I do with all my heart think that she loves me. She said yesterday that the incident at my apt where my ex made her think I was cheating on her hurt her bad. I wasn't cheating and I have begged her to believe me and to not do this! she even said in a text yesterday that she knows I am probably talking to other people since we are broke up and she said she doesn't like it. I told her and its the truth that I am in no way shape form or fashion even remotely interested in talking to anyone right now. I love this woman and my heart belongs to her and IDK why she would even think that She said if I want to go out with other people for me to go ahead and do it and that at least ill know is she is what I want and need. I keep telling her she is what I want and need and yet she still don't believe me. what's going on with her? She said yesterday to please just give us a break for a while!


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

hillbilly_loser said:


> *I just want her to listen to me and let me fix this with her.* I am so afraid she will never miss me and not come back to me. I really love her and need to fix this. I have really tried but in her mind she thinks I was seeing my ex and I wasn't. All of the other blogs and sites on internet say to give space when they ask and leave them alone to sit and ponder and start to miss you and to decide if they value u in their life


I bolded part of this, because it is very important. The bolded part is what I didn't get, and what I couldn't figure out for two years: Unless your partner WANTS to change, and to work on things, to "fix this" as you stated, no amount of work you do can do anything, the only thing you can do is the 180. I say this with the knowledge that I SUCK at the 180 myself lol


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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

It is so hard to walk away from her knowing I was innocent and wasn't cheating on her and when my ex made her think I was that it was a lie. its a hard pill to swallow when my girlfriend who now wants to take a break told me that we get along 99.9% of the time and that no one has ever turned her on sexually like me and that overall our relationship was the best she ever has had cause we never fought. It is very hard to walk away while she chooses to believe in her mind the lie that my ex told that night.

SO MY QUESTION IS HOW DO I MAKE HER BELEIVE IT WAS A LIE WHICH IT WAS? I need the magic bullet answer! PLEASE


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

You can be a good person, and prove yourself, but beyond that you aren't going to MAKE someone believe anything. If it gets to a point where you've shown yourself to be a man of merit, and the person you are trying to prove it to still treats you like crap... might be time to admit that is no longer a friend.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-...95-i-have-come-clean-i-have-made-mistake.html

I don't even know what to say to you dude.


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## K.C. (Dec 1, 2012)

If you're posting genuinely and not fishing, I think confused is the exact thing you are.

You need to forget about who you want to be with and just sort out being with yourself for a bit. Let your head clear itself of all this nonsense. 

A week of soul searching? Please. A week is nothing on the back of years of blowing smoke up your own ass.

Forget all about women for a while and just get your own head sorted. It appears to be a total mess.


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