# Why now??? Is there something wrong with me?



## beachbabe (May 11, 2012)

Hi there everyone~ It is almost a year since my husband was caught in an intimate relationship through texting and phone calls. Since he was caught, he has been nothing short of amazing; he wrote her a letter to end it (letting me have a word or two as well) and he hasn't contacted her since. 
Now for some reason I'm wanting to have contact with her after all this time...
At first I wanted to tell her not to worry about feeling guilty for what she has done, because we have never been closer which is very true...with therapy and lots of love and patience. But now I'm not sure...could it be that after all this time, I want to rub her nose in it? :scratchhead:
We are renewing our vows in March and I'm SO happy, so why do I care at all about her? If he can give her up, why can I? 
(Please note: I know for SURE that they have no contact...spyware everywhere installed for a year.) 
Just would love to know if anyone else has had this problem, even when things are so good between us???


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Think of her as your special place, you know the place where you first fell in love and so every couple of years or so you go back for a romantic date? She's the catalyst that prompted what you have now. Unfortunately, she's not an inanimate object SOOO. Best keep sitting on those feelings.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

At this point don't contact her. She was sent a no contact letter. If you do contact her, that opens the door for her to resume contact with your husband.

From what you told of your situation, no good could come from it.

If you feel that there is something that you have to get out of your system, write her a letter. When you are done with it burn it. Let the universe take your sentiments ... in the form of smoke.


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## beachbabe (May 11, 2012)

Wow! I never thought of writing a letter...I keep a journal but never thought of that! I absolutely love the idea. Thanks so much, I will try it! 
Don't worry, I would never contact her...believe me I know that it would be a HUGE mistake. I know that she would contact him for sure...and I think that she would totally take advantage!
Thanks again...big big help.


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## canadiangirl (Apr 24, 2012)

I think contacting her now would give her power....knowing that she is still in your head. I say no contact.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

Do not contact her, let her think she was discarded and you were the one your husband truly cared about, it is sort of gift, it stirs up the marriage and you recommit in a way you never have.....sometimes I think I want to thank the skank in my husband's affair for letting him see the differences and what he was about to lose, my husband has thanked me for saving his life many times.
Great to see you are doing a renewal and celebrating your new relationship, be happy there, don't waste a minute on anyone but you and him now....you have a great thing going, don't let anyone in again.
have fun at the wedding....


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Karma is a weird thing, OP. IME, if you try to interfere with it, it doesn't work.

I agree with Ellegirl about getting all your feelings down on paper, then burning it.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I agree with not contacting her..

But as you asked.. why now? why do you have that feeling now????
Well... one thing , yes, could be the "rub it in her face".

But.. my thought: could is also be that you just have a tiny bit of insecurity about it all? If you are just wondering if she has contacted your hubby... Like thinking that she would admit it to you if you contact her now?

But, .. I agree... let it go & do not contact. It will only open a box you want to keep shut.


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## elizabethdennis (Jan 16, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> At this point don't contact her. She was sent a no contact letter. If you do contact her, that opens the door for her to resume contact with your husband.
> 
> From what you told of your situation, no good could come from it.
> 
> If you feel that there is something that you have to get out of your system, write her a letter. When you are done with it burn it. Let the universe take your sentiments ... in the form of smoke.


:iagree:
I agree. Writing your sentiments down and burning it could free you from whatever hang ups you are feeling. After you burn the letter, move on. Enjoy a brand new journey with your husband.


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