# spyware on wifes phone??



## Mrdubstar24 (Jan 18, 2020)

so have doubts and that and seen a lot of spyware applications I can pay for that gives me access to her phone see if she is cheating not just what I think she's doing, I am in 2 minds with it I love to get peace of mind but also its so wrong to pay around 40 upwards for a app just for doubts that may be nothing, Massive risk in paying for it and getting on her phone and then doing it is again massive mis trust thing and bad to do I know this buut I am tempted to try but I dont earn loads any one on here done something like this to see if there other half has cheated or is cheating??
nay one know of any treid and tested app like these spy bots to get peace of mind or is it just wrong to-do it ??


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Just be aware that aside from possible legal issues, some people will react badly to discovering that they have been spied on. If I found out I had been spied on, my marriage would end immediately.


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## Mrdubstar24 (Jan 18, 2020)

I am aware of that that's why am in 2 minds about it and why I asked on here.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

uhtred said:


> Just be aware that aside from possible legal issues, some people will react badly to discovering that they have been spied on. If I found out I had been spied on, my marriage would end immediately.


*Even if one happened to be undeniably guilty?

@Mrdubstar24 : What exactly are your "gut instincts" telling you?*


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## Mrdubstar24 (Jan 18, 2020)

Gut says she hasn't cheated on me with any one just hiding somthing else n obvs touching her self n not me


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Don’t do it.

Instead, start asking some of the hard questions you haven’t been asking her.


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## Mrdubstar24 (Jan 18, 2020)

Marduk said:


> Don’t do it.
> 
> Instead, start asking some of the hard questions you haven’t been asking her.


Thanks didn't think it was smart idea but **** happens in bad times


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## delupt (Dec 1, 2014)

You can probably check phone records to see texting habits and behavior without the spyware thing and the risks it entails. Access to her PC for email? Of course, an affair will likely use other apps for contact, but a cursory look at the apps she has may indicate something.

That said, what are your suspicions and why? Things change dramatically recently, or just withholding sex? girl's nights out, or just marriage malaise?


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## Mrdubstar24 (Jan 18, 2020)

delupt said:


> You can probably check phone records to see texting habits and behavior without the spyware thing and the risks it entails. Access to her PC for email? Of course, an affair will likely use other apps for contact, but a cursory look at the apps she has may indicate something.
> 
> That said, what are your suspicions and why? Things change dramatically recently, or just withholding sex? girl's nights out, or just marriage malaise?


hi well our sex life went down hill after one year or two but recently its gotten less often then normally, she's on her phone most of day and its about a week ago I didn't fall asleep like normally and I was and still am sure she was masturbating she has denied it when I asked her but since that night I have struggled sleeping and on multiple nights since the first time I have heard her so I now have doubts like is she no having sex with me and just masturbates or is she having sex with someone else and masturbates at night thinking of them. and its al gathered up from that one night and its just building up more and more.


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## delupt (Dec 1, 2014)

There's a saying here that you "go with your gut" on the cheating issue ... but there's just too little to go on (from what you've said). You admit this may all be in your head, but it's clearly hit you hard ... so talk to her about it. 

What's her response to discussing your (lack of) sex life? Was it a lot better earlier? 
Glued to the phone is an obvious red-flag; maybe ask to borrow it for a quick google search and see the reaction? 

You got kids? Does she work - please don't say 'in healthcare' 

For me, masturbating is fine so long as it doesn't adversely impact a couple's intimacy. It's sometimes a fun 'team-sport' to share.


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## Mrdubstar24 (Jan 18, 2020)

delupt said:


> There's a saying here that you "go with your gut" on the cheating issue ... but there's just too little to go on (from what you've said). You admit this may all be in your head, but it's clearly hit you hard ... so talk to her about it.
> 
> What's her response to discussing your (lack of) sex life? Was it a lot better earlier?
> Glued to the phone is an obvious red-flag; maybe ask to borrow it for a quick google search and see the reaction?
> ...


Yea I was thinking on them lines but when we talk about our little sex life she knows it's due to her not wanting it or being in the mood but nothing really changes and if I asked to borrow her phone I can imagine I get use yours and not mine but It worth a try and we have 1 son 7 year old and she work 4 hours a day Monday - Friday and is off during school holidays she works at call center doing market research and for me it's fine for her to masterbate but if its her doing that and us I have issue with and the fact that if she is why lie when I caught (using it loosely) her doing it


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *Even if one happened to be undeniably guilty?
> 
> @Mrdubstar24 : What exactly are your "gut instincts" telling you?*



I was saying that if my wife spied on me, I'd divorce. That would be true whether or not I had actually been cheating.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

uhtred said:


> I was saying that if my wife spied on me, I'd divorce. That would be true whether or not I had actually been cheating.


*Quite frankly, me too, @uhtred ~ but there again, I just could never ever see myself cheating!

I think I'd be out of that relationship long before I ever got the opportunity!*


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## Mrdubstar24 (Jan 18, 2020)

Hey after much thought I won't be doing any spy ware etc but I am thinking about leaving my phone on the side like I do every night but I will have voice recording on so it will record any noise at night so maybe if I hear anything at least I can go on my phone and listen again see if I can hear it on my phone and see if it is in my head or if am actually hearing her masterbate? As for me that be enough for now I think help ease my mind.


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## datguy (Feb 5, 2020)

I think it’s not worth it. It will not lead to anything good.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

Look for the tells, or the red flags. They ARE there. Then build a picture and see what you have. It all could be benign. Then again...Guts seem to tell us everything. You don’t need a spy program in your marriage to tell you you are not happy or disrespected. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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