# Husband won’t touch me without being shaved?



## Sloualt (Jan 23, 2018)

Background: My husband and I have been married over 5 years. We waited until we were married to have sex as well. We had a baby almost a year ago and obviously that’s an adjustment to every aspect of our marriage. A couple years into our marriage he brought up that he doesn’t especially like being involved with me if I haven’t trimmed or shaved my parts. I didn’t think much of it being a newlywed with minimal time constraints so I made an effort to do that regularly. 

At this point in our life, my husband works full time and I am a stay at home mom. I spend 99% of my time cleaning up and taking care of everyone else. I don’t even have time to continue the hobbies I once had. 

Recently, I’ve noticed a trend within our sex life. My husband hasn’t been touching me down there during foreplay, and when he does it’s brief and through my clothing. 

A few days ago, I was trying to talk to him about it. He said that his overall goal is to make me feel good even though it’s not his favorite thing to do unless I’ve shaved everything. I explained to him that I just don’t have the time to commit to maintaining that like I use to and he said he understood. I even have paid for and scheduled laser hair removal at this point (per his request), but it doesn’t begin for another month and will take about a year to complete. He said if I am wanting him to give me more attention like that, that I could pull his hand in that direction and he could take the hint. 

Well, tonight I did exactly that he he would only touch me over my underwear. Our kid woke up crying in the middle of everything so we couldn’t even have sex. So I asked him why he wouldn’t touch me without clothes and he said he was trying to find the middle ground of giving me what I want and him not having to touch hair. 

I guess I’m just at a loss. There’s obviously a lot that changes when you have a baby and part of that is your body. It’s difficult to feel like the same woman pre-baby and it’s difficult to feel sexy when you’re a walking, stretch-marked out milk machine. It’s hard to feel sexy when you spend all day everyday picking up after everyone else. And it’s hard to find time to participate in self care, let alone spend 20-30 minutes shaving your vagina so your husband can touch you willingly. 

I feel hurt and less than desirable. I don’t understand, if my husband loves me how he says he does, why he wouldn’t want to touch me and make me feel as good and I want and try to make him feel. I feel like my sexual worth is tied into the condition my public hair is in. I just don’t know why he doesn’t want me for me any more. 

What do I do? Do I just adjust my expectations until this laser hair removal is done and not expect him to attempt to do anything more than have sex? Do I sacrifice the time I have to sleep to shave? Do we need counseling at this point?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Counseling would be good.

I don't think he likes doing for you, and this will be hard to overcome.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

While some men have a preference one way or the other, his reaction seems very extreme. Does he seem to have any other body issues - not wanting to touch any other part of you? Does he shave his genitals? Any other sexual fetishes that might give some insight?

My only thought is one that I don't want to voice without more information.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

??Hair is an issue for your H, really???? Not for me.

But back to your H. I will only say it seems abnormal he won't touch you skin to skin. I suspect if you go a year without being touched, you might resent him in a year and even if you do not have any pubic hair, he or you won't feel like making out or having much foreplay before sex.

I think your H needs outside help for HIS problem that is impacting your life.


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## Sloualt (Jan 23, 2018)

uhtred said:


> While some men have a preference one way or the other, his reaction seems very extreme. Does he seem to have any other body issues - not wanting to touch any other part of you? Does he shave his genitals? Any other sexual fetishes that might give some insight?
> 
> My only thought is one that I don't want to voice without more information.


He maybe shaved himself every other month or two, but it’s been a while. He seems OK touching other parts of me for the most part. I can’t think of any fetishes, but before we were married he struggled a lot with pornography. He hasn’t gotten back into that as far as I’m aware since we’ve been married.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Sloualt said:


> Background: My husband and I have been married over 5 years. We waited until we were married to have sex as well. We had a baby almost a year ago and obviously that’s an adjustment to every aspect of our marriage. A couple years into our marriage he brought up that he doesn’t especially like being involved with me if I haven’t trimmed or shaved my parts. I didn’t think much of it being a newlywed with minimal time constraints so I made an effort to do that regularly.
> 
> At this point in our life, my husband works full time and I am a stay at home mom. I spend 99% of my time cleaning up and taking care of everyone else. I don’t even have time to continue the hobbies I once had.
> 
> ...




- Congrats on having your first child.:smthumbup:

- Having a child is almost like a full time job in itself and draining I'm sure.

- Not much time to do whatever you'd like to do.

- Gaining unwanted weight, stretch marks, etc.

- But you knew all of this before having your child..........


- As for personal hygene and shaving, you can do this after or before having a shower. Doesn't take hours to do either. 20 to 30 minutes once a week? or 2x week? That's nothing and when your child is sleeping, you have time for a quick shave.

- If you being shaved turns on your hubby, then you shave.

- Don't take that in a bad way. Many guys like a shaved woman.


- Mrs.CuddleBug works on average 55+ hours per week. She still shaves before or after her showers.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What he’s saying is hurtful. But the fact is, you’re a stay at home mom with one kid. You’ve got plenty of time if you want to. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Sloualt said:


> I feel like my sexual worth is tied into the condition my public hair is in. I just don’t know why he doesn’t want me for me any more.


And this is the heart of the matter. It sounds like you are happy to do hair removal, but it is that nagging thought that your sexuality is conditional. I would find that hurtful too.

From reading things on TAM I am starting to really see men as being fairly simple when it comes to sex - its a means to an end. As for women, we tend to think on an emotional level and - its not just sex, its feeling desired for being who we are. If our partners try and shape us to their liking it can leave us feeling LESS sexy (which makes no sense to them)*. 

Advice would be to go ahead with the hair removal if that is what you want but perhaps gently explain to your husband as to how it makes you feel when he rejects the natural part of you. If he is an empath he will gradually learn good seduction techniques that make you feel sexy not rejected. Its like training a dog sometimes. :grin2:

* Apologies for gender stereotyping I know we are all different


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I'm not trying to be dismissive here. I'm trying to understand. 

When you say you pick up after "everybody" and take care of "everyone," the only people in your narrative I know of is you, your husband, and your baby. Do you have other children?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

To be funny and not dis-Mrs. of this.

The guy is a freakin' pansy.

A sexy panty waste, a pantywaist he be.
He is a panty-loon. Wanting to sniff his own pantaloons.
He needs to grow a pair. Or set him free.

He does not like hair?
Sue him for not a-courtin'
You need to file a hirsute.

He needs to remain in the doghouse.
For not sniffin', nor eatin' at the 'Y'.
I made light of this, though I cry.
He's not a man, rather a louse.


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## Leroi (May 13, 2016)

I think your H is angry for being (or feeiling) nr. 3 at your home, and he's only asking for more attention
At least, that's what I did when we had a baby 3 yrs ago: I went back to porn, i started to trim or shave myself, I started to send hot texts and emails to my W (never done before), all because I wanted to feel desired again as before her pregnancy. And the less she responded, the more I felt angry, the more I became aggressive.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

How long does laser hair removal take and what's the guarantee that it is permanent from the first time. Personally, I use depilatory and it takes less than 20 minutes.

In my old age, Ive finally understood men. They don't ask for much ....... but, like in your case, they provide ....... and they provide enough to give you options.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Leroi said:


> I think your H is angry for being (or feeiling) nr. 3 at your home, and he's only asking for more attention
> At least, that's what I did when we had a baby 3 yrs ago: I went back to porn, i started to trim or shave myself, I started to send hot texts and emails to my W (never done before), all because I wanted to feel desired again as before her pregnancy. And the less she responded, the more I felt angry, the more I became aggressive.


^ This.

It's not what your husband is asking you to do, it's that he's asking you to do... something.

Because your time is pretty much already accounted for, and you, presumably, don't have much time for yourself, being asked to do something that you may find silly and pointless is likely the real issue.

Do I think he's being silly, given that he won't touch you down there unless you're shaved or trimmed? Yes, absolutely. But he's got this thing, it seems, and it's probably something you happily did, once upon a time. And my guess is that your husband is noticing this lack of attention to detail, and feeling that he's #3.

Personally, I'd give him this one. Maintaining the relationship (including the sexual part) is important when there's a new baby in the house. My wife shaves in the shower, and I don't think it takes much more than a few minutes.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

NextTimeAround said:


> How long does laser hair removal take and what's the guarantee that it is permanent from the first time. Personally, I use depilatory and it takes less than 20 minutes.
> 
> In my old age, Ive finally understood men. They don't ask for much ....... but, like in your case, they provide ....... and they provide enough to give you options.


We have a friend who did this a couple of years ago, and by all accounts, it's gone for good. Took about a year of appointments (once a month, I think) and wasn't pleasant, and also cost a fair amount, but she seems happy about it.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Interesting dynamic. I am surprised that he refuses to touch you if you are unshaved... And his expectation that you "put his hand on it" is a weird defense mechanism... does he really expect you to do that every time you are intimate? He knows you like it

I can say, as a man, that its a turn off to give oral sex to a hairy lady... 

Send him to the market to buy you a waterproof shaver (like some men use on their face) and keep it trimmed.. should only take a few minutes... Unless he wants shaved to baby-ass smooth... then he is being slightly uncompromising.


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## Sloualt (Jan 23, 2018)

Steve2.0 said:


> Interesting dynamic. I am surprised that he refuses to touch you if you are unshaved... And his expectation that you "put his hand on it" is a weird defense mechanism... does he really expect you to do that every time you are intimate? He knows you like it
> 
> I can say, as a man, that its a turn off to give oral sex to a hairy lady...
> 
> Send him to the market to buy you a waterproof shaver (like some men use on their face) and keep it trimmed.. should only take a few minutes... Unless he wants shaved to baby-ass smooth... then he is being slightly uncompromising.


I should have probably noted this in the original post, but yes, he wants every hair gone.


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

We all have preferences. I know I only enjoy giving my man oral if he's trimmed up. I don't want to be face planting a bush of pubic hair. He also prefers me well maintained. I always shave it all, and have been for all of my adult life. It has never taken me 20-30 minutes to take care of business down there and I am a SAHM with three children (often times four when my fiance's preschooler is here for our visitation weekends). If you give it one solid go through to start with, that will take the most time (if you're fully grown out), but trimming it back up once a week, while in the shower, takes maybe 3-4 minutes tops and that's getting myself completely smooth. 

I do think his reaction is extreme, but it seems to me he is merely tired of fighting for your attention. As moms, a lot of the time we forget we are more than just a nurturer/milk machine/diaper changer. We are also an intimate partner to our significant other. I know that it's hard to feel sexy (especially if you are still nursing), but it's truly not that difficult to go an extra inch in doing the one thing that makes your partner feel even more attracted to you. For example, I always ask that my SO keeps his facial hair well trimmed. I love the burly, mountain man look he has, but I stop finding it attractive when he starts letting it go. I don't want to kiss when his hair is out of control and tickling my lips, so he always tries to make the time to keep it in check.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Hmmm. I trim my curlies about 1/4" long, maybe once a month. Keeps the area tidy looking. Mrs Wedge shaves herself smooth with a shaving razor about every other shower. As we take showers together sometimes I know this takes her about 45 seconds. So I say if you have time to take a shower and brush your teeth, you have time to tidy up.

If YOU want to.

If you don't want to, because you don't like the prickly day(s) after feeling, or you think it's weird, or whatever... Then don't. It's your bush - let your freak-flag fly! But it's really not time consuming if you already have time to shower and shave your legs.


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## Sloualt (Jan 23, 2018)

After thinking over everything this morning, I guess where my hurt comes from is not that he prefers that, but the refusal of me outside of it. 

I’m frustrated because he says, “I want to make you feel good.” Then won’t touch me. He says, “If that’s what you want me to do, then move my hand so I can take the hint.” I follow through with his suggestion, and he still finds a way to touch me without touching me. 

I’ve been very open with him since the birth of our child and told him I’m really struggling to find how I’m sexy/how to feel sexy after my entire body changed. I know part of that continues because I am breastfeeding still and the hormones involved. He says “You’re sexy no matter what! I want you for you.” 

It doesn’t mean that I don’t clean up for him, but it’s just not as frequently as before baby. 

As far as showers go, he likes to shower together after he’s off work and the hot water runs out before we are able to even rinse the conditioner out. I think I’m going to tell him that realistically we should shower separately more often so he can get what he wants later. 

I think I’ve just realized that it’s a conditional want of me sexually. And that I am only sexy to him conditionally. That condition being hairless. 

I think that’s my hurt in all of it.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

He doesn't keep himself shaved bare all the time, but he "needs" for you to be shaved smooth in order to touch you. I really don't think this is just a preference or a wish to feel like he's important to you. He seems to have a genuine repulsion to touching a woman's pubic hair, even though he's fine with his own. This may, in fact, be something approaching a fetish for him. 

You've said he struggled a lot with pornography before marriage. My guess is that he grew up, as a sexual being, looking at and preferring hairless women in porn. Apparently not having been sexual with a woman in real life, he had no reality against which to compare what he was seeing in porn. Even if he "knew" women had public hair, he seems to have come to associate hairless women with sex and sexual desirability. He's repulsed by hairy reality because it doesn't match the porn he built his sexuality around.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Shower together every day? Impressed.
Maybe use less hot water so it lasts longer... or ask him to shave you since your both there


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

It may be that you can think of this as a "fetish". Just something that he needs to be sexually attracted. (as opposed to a "kink" which is desired but not required). Its a somewhat strange one, but not as outrageous as some.

I do understand how it makes you feel, but maybe have the mind set that this is something strange about *him* not you.

Is he attentive to your sexual needs and desires (when you are shaved)?

Still weird on his part. 




Sloualt said:


> After thinking over everything this morning, I guess where my hurt comes from is not that he prefers that, but the refusal of me outside of it.
> 
> I’m frustrated because he says, “I want to make you feel good.” Then won’t touch me. He says, “If that’s what you want me to do, then move my hand so I can take the hint.” I follow through with his suggestion, and he still finds a way to touch me without touching me.
> 
> ...


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## jarhed (Nov 11, 2012)

Get an electric shaver and it takes 20 seconds.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

peacem said:


> And this is the heart of the matter. It sounds like you are happy to do hair removal, but it is that nagging thought that your sexuality is conditional. I would find that hurtful too.
> 
> *From reading things on TAM I am starting to really see men as being fairly simple when it comes to sex - its a means to an end*. As for women, we tend to think on an emotional level and - its not just sex, its feeling desired for being who we are. If our partners try and shape us to their liking it can leave us feeling LESS sexy (which makes no sense to them)*.
> 
> ...


I think the above bolded is incorrect..... certainly not true of me....
But your observation is your observation....

I think the OP's husband clearly has got some mental problems. A woman's husband should be all over his wife. Preferences certainly. I like shaved. But if I'm wanting badly, like after 3 days---- it doesn't matter if it's a huge bush, I'm diving in.
JMO

Oh, and one kid and stay at home mom and can't find the time to shave???? I think that is total BS and I think the OP needs to change her attitude of "I'm overwhelmed".... I have 3 kids. I'm a single dad. It can be done.
It could be that he has told the OP this one little thing that he likes, and he's pissed when he sees she can't find the time to do this one thing for him. He actually doesn't sound like a total jerk from what she's said. But he is REALLY OCD....


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

I'm in a similar situation with my W. She hasn't shaved, trimmed, or waxed but one time in the last 2.5 years. I've asked for it, had talks about it, and the buckwheat in a leg lock bush continues. I've finally just have gotten tired of it (and her general laziness about sexual things in general) and have pulled away. 

For years and years, from the day I met her she waxed. She said she "did it for herself" because she didn't like the look or feel of a lot of hair there. She never went bald, and always had a nice, groomed landing strip. I was really liking that because even as a young guy, the 70's bush was a turn off to me. And I became sexually active in the time of full bush (80's). Seeing a vagina surrounded by hair, with hair running around the vagina and down the crack of the butt just skeeved me out. No special reason (wasn't into porn back then....no computers and just the occasional playboy magazine....nobody trimmed), but some women were just naturally hairier than others. And just as my preference was for smaller / perky boobs over huge or sagging boobs, my preference for hair down there was for not a lot of it. Nobody waxed back then. Women trimmed bikini lines, and that was it. But some women were just harrier. And that was definitely NOT my preference.

So no, at least not for all men, it's not a "pre-pubescent porn thing" we are going after. It's just a preference. And full on bush is a major turn off for me.

For me the problems it causes is this....it is harder to get in. The hair gets in the way. If I slip out in anything less than a completely hard state, it is a real PITA to get back in. She doesn't want me to touch her there anymore because it is "yucky down there". Same for going down on her. Nope....too yucky down there right now. Well....no crap Sherlock...you haven't taken a minute to landscape in 2 years! 

The excuses have run the gamut. Don't have time for it. It itches. It (waxing) hurts. I looked some things up and recommended years ago after she complained of the pain of waxing and ingrown hairs about "sugaring". She tried it. So much better for her. Rarely and ingrown hair. Much less painful. No skin irritation. But that stopped too. I bought her coupons for laser treatments and told her I'd cover the cost if she kept up on it. And the coupons sit unused in the drawer almost two years later.

I've offered to trim her. "No, I'm embarrassed". Really? After all we've done sexually these years you're embarrassed to have me down there for a few minutes with a clippers once or twice a month? Yes, she says, she will do it herself. And then she doesn't.

There's a thing I used to do for her which was her favorite thing in the world. (Somewhat graphic warning). I'd take the tip of my penis and run it around her clitoris and vagina. Nice and slow, then working up speed. Up until the point she was going to climax, and then I'd suddenly enter. Just mind blowing orgasms for her. And now not really possible with all that hair (and surely not without irritating the tip of my penis).

So that is all but off the table. Along with fingering and going down on her. 

Oh, I've read the things some women say about this: He should love you for you. He should just be happy to be getting some. If you offer a man your vagina and he refuses something is wrong with him. It's about control. Men who like that must like children or have some pre-pubescent fantasy. Uhm, okay, whatever. No. I just like the look and feel of a neatly trimmed vagina. Period. It turns me on, and the alternative turns me off.

What all this says to me is this: I will shave my pits. Because that's what women do, and other people can see it. I will shave my legs because that's what women do, and people see it. I will get my hair done once or twice a month. I will get eyelash extensions. I will sometimes spray tan. I will get botox. Nails done. But taking a lady trimmer to my bits for 5 minutes every two weeks is too time consuming and too bothersome. What other people see of me is of importance. What you see of me and makes you happy is unimportant, even if it makes sex less pleasurable for us both. Here...I'm laying down, here's my vagina. Take me and just be happy I'm doing that much.

I've tried to request it and talk gently to her about it. Have tried to make it a fun thing. It has gotten us nowhere.

So, I'm done with it. I'm currently doing my best to put it out of my head, improve an otherwise already really good relationship, and also run a version of the MAP, and am getting in great shape, looking better, feeling better. Either she responds or she doesn't. But if she doesn't, she runs the risk someone else will. Yup, I said it. There will be no cheating, but at my age I am not satisfied with the lazy, half assed sex life she is putting forth. So I will do my part and be the absolute best turn on I can be to her again. And if she doesn't want to respond to that, and put forward an effort to address issues (be it relationship, attraction, hormonal, whatever), then she may be doing more than her fair share to seal our sexual relationship doom. 

My recommendation is this. If it is that important to your guy, get off candy crush or the TV (not you specifically, I may be projecting here a little, lol) for the 10 minutes a couple times a month to pull out the trimmers and do something he finds a turn on. 

And yes, I trim. Down there, to include shaving the boys once every week or so. It's not that hard. Along with that goes excessive chest, pit, body, and back hair (a real PITA). It costs me an extra 20 minutes or so in the shower once every week or two. I don't expect her to be turned on by an unkept cave man (as I know she is not from previous comments when she sees such things on TV, the beach, or the pool). I'm not sure why I should be expected to "perform" with cave woman and it's some kind of a shock or an assault on her entirety as a woman if I don't.

Does your H feel like that? No telling. But I know I'm not the only guy that does when it comes to such things. And it's got not a thing to do with fantasizing over porn queens or god forbid young girls. But it does say a lot to some of us when something that is a turn on (or turn off) that can be handled with a little effort in 10 minutes is so easily dismissed and turned into an attack on males in general or as some kind of an affront to womanhood. 

Flame suit on....


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

What's wrong with a little hair???


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> What's wrong with a little hair???


Man, there oughta' be some kind of decency filter for things like that :surprise:


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

donny64 said:


> What all this says to me is this: I will shave my pits. Because that's what women do, and other people can see it. I will shave my legs because that's what women do, and people see it. I will get my hair done once or twice a month. I will get eyelash extensions. I will sometimes spray tan. I will get botox. Nails done. But taking a lady trimmer to my bits for 5 minutes every two weeks is too time consuming and too bothersome. What other people see of me is of importance. What you see of me and makes you happy is unimportant,


That's what it would say to me if my wife could do something fairly easy about her appearance for me but didn't.

Personally, I don't like hairless. Trimmed is nice but I've never had any "technical" problems with untrimmed.


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## Daisy12 (Jul 10, 2016)

I agree that woman do need to keep up on our “womanly areas” and I myself have 4 kids a full time job and a business and i still manage to wax down there once a month, but omg if things got busy and I wasn’t as trimmed down there as normal and my husband refused to touch me or have sex with me because of that, well that’s just being a little unreasonable. 

Can you come to some sort of compromise. I do not waxed completely and I would not shave, to many ingrown hairs, it would be too much upkeep, but keeping trimmed short with a trimmer is a 2 second job.

Personally i don’t think this is all about hair and there is something else bothering your husband. Sometimes when we have our first child it can be a consuming time for a woman and our hormones and body are going through big changes. You want to invest all your time in your new bundle of joy and be the best mom you can be and unfortunately we woman can sometimes put our men on the back burner as we see them as adults and not needing our attention. Some men feel the new baby as competition for your attention and will start to “act up” for lack of a better word by complaining, spending more time away from home...etc

Do you feel like maybe your husband is seeing the lack of being shaved as maybe a sign that you don't view him as being as important as you did before the baby came?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Sloualt said:


> I think I’ve just realized that it’s a conditional want of me sexually. And that I am only sexy to him conditionally. That condition being hairless.
> 
> I think that’s my hurt in all of it.


It's not that he isn't into you. It's that he isn't into pubic hair. He wants to touch you. He just doesn't want to touch pubic hair. This really is an easy fix.

I shave my entire pubic area completely every shower and have for over 2 decades, including before and after the births of my kids. Basically, the first shave is time consuming because you have to trim down the hair and then go over everything with a razor. *Highly recommend the Quattro. Five blades is so nice!* After that, just giving the area a quick once over with every shower takes about 5 minutes, at most.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> I shave my entire pubic area completely every shower and have for over 2 decades, including before and after the births of my kids. Basically, the first shave is time consuming because you have to trim down the hair and then go over everything with a razor. *Highly recommend the Quattro. Five blades is so nice!* After that, just giving the area a quick once over with every shower takes about 5 minutes, at most.
> 
> It's not that he isn't into you. It's that he isn't into pubic hair. He wants to touch you. He just doesn't want to touch pubic hair. This really is an easy fix.


Yep. I wish my wife just trimmed hers short, with clippers (I would prefer that look) but she finds it easier and faster to shave it bare in the shower. She does it for herself, not me. Her legs take a few minutes but her privates is literally less than a minute. It might be a little weird that he won't touch you otherwise, but you could have far worse problems in a marriage. 

If you like his face clean-shaven, and he grew a long scraggly beard, you'd lose some of your desire to kiss him, right? Mmmm, a long wispy beard getting in your mouth... smelling like beer burps and tuna fish.... Yummy!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Sloualt said:


> After thinking over everything this morning, I guess where my hurt comes from is not that he prefers that, but the refusal of me outside of it.
> 
> I’m frustrated because he says, “I want to make you feel good.” Then won’t touch me. He says, “If that’s what you want me to do, then move my hand so I can take the hint.” I follow through with his suggestion, and he still finds a way to touch me without touching me.
> 
> ...


I could change that hot water heater to a larger number of gallons in about 30 minutes and about 300$.
You need a bigger hot water heater.
These problems you are seeing are not problems. Mountains out of molehills, I think....


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I had the PERFECT lover in my last girlfriend...... And couldn't keep her because she was too hard to get along with. Started fights for no reason...

Soooo, to OP. If this is such a huge problem and it can be solved with something as simple as shaving, you are really lazy if you can't get it done.

You haven't answered the question: DOES he give you passionate oral or whatever it is you are missing, IF YOU SHAVE?

If your answer is yes, you are the problem. Plain and simple. If it's NO, then shaving isn't the problem.. it's something else.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Your feelings are hurt and you feel less sexy. hopefully he will communicate with you why he is this way. 

Sometimes it is about his feelings, and not all about the pubic hair. It could be part about the pubic hair, but something else is going on.

Hope you and he can have that good couples communication.

My wife refuses to let me down there. It is not proper. Can't change her mind, so I have to live with it.

Hope you find a good way forward.


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## Sloualt (Jan 23, 2018)

Evinrude58 said:


> I had the PERFECT lover in my last girlfriend...... And couldn't keep her because she was too hard to get along with. Started fights for no reason...
> 
> Soooo, to OP. If this is such a huge problem and it can be solved with something as simple as shaving, you are really lazy if you can't get it done.
> 
> ...


Even if I am shaved entirely, he will give me oral maybe 3 times a year. If I am shaved, he only sometimes reciprocated foreplay. 

I do clean up, not as often as I did before having a kid. 

As I stated as well, I have paid and scheduled laser hair removal as well-but for the price of permanence, it will take about a year to complete.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Sloualt said:


> Even if I am shaved entirely, he will give me oral maybe 3 times a year. If I am shaved, he only sometimes reciprocated foreplay.


Okay then, this is not about pubic hair rather this is about your H being a sexually lazy and selfish ass.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I'll give you a little too much info... Maybe it will apply to you, maybe not..... Just food for thought from a man's perspective.

I had an ex wife I really enjoyed sex with, but not oral. And she liked oral. I rarely did that for her. 2 reasons: 1) She didn't bathe right before sex and the taste was just too powerful. 2) She never had an orgasm that way.

I then had a very attractive woman I was madly in love with after the ex. She shaved, ALWAYS showered directly before sex--- unrequested. She was super clean. She tasted great, no hair to get in my mouth, and she always orgasmed.. I loved it. 
And that was something that I never really liked before her. It gave me a sense of satisfaction that I could satisfy her in that way. She bragged on me. It made me feel good. She was an extraordinary lover. I'll likely never find another like her.


So, maybe you should ask yourself if: a) do you bathe directly before sex? b) do you orgasm from it c) do you tell him what a great lover he is?

If you answer no to any of the above, maybe that's something you can work on together. He is likely not wanting to hurt your feelings and tell you that he just doesn't like giving oral. However, if he is like me, he has a reason. Because I assure you, most men LOVE to satisfy their woman (well, I do, at least). I consider myself an average man.

I hope this info is helpful to you.

And, he may just be a lazy, selfish lover as indicated above. He should be working harder to satisfy your needs. Really. He should be asking questions. He should be telling you what he needs in order to satisfy you.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

That is a MUCH bigger problem. 



Sloualt said:


> Even if I am shaved entirely, he will give me oral maybe 3 times a year. If I am shaved, he only sometimes reciprocated foreplay.
> sinp
> .


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Red Sonja said:


> Okay then, this is not about pubic hair rather this is about your H being a sexually lazy and selfish ass.


Quite possibly, but it could also be other issues that she isn't sharing information on. I'm guessing there is a lot more going on that we don't know. 

Her not finding the time to trim up because she's super busy as a SAHM is just an excuse to justify her action. A SAHM with a single child isn't very busy, and if shaving was a priority to her then she'd find the time.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Sloualt said:


> He maybe shaved himself every other month or two, but it’s been a while. He seems OK touching other parts of me for the most part. I can’t think of any fetishes, but before we were married he struggled a lot with pornography. He hasn’t gotten back into that as far as I’m aware since we’ve been married.


That's probably why. Most women in porn have no hair down there, so he has got used to seeing that and its what turns him on. That's why its such a thing now, women thinking they must shave, and it didn't used to be like that when I was young and its very sad. 
Maybe check he isn't still watching porn as that wont help at all. Most men who watched a lot of porn before marriage will carry on after marriage.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Bananapeel said:


> Quite possibly, but it could also be other issues that she isn't sharing information on. I'm guessing there is a lot more going on that we don't know.
> 
> Her not finding the time to trim up because she's super busy as a SAHM is just an excuse to justify her action. A SAHM with a single child isn't very busy, and if shaving was a priority to her then she'd find the time.


A SAHM with a baby is VERY busy.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Men are visual creatures. If we weren’t, women wouldn’t spend so much time on beauty. Women know it, men know it….we are visual. 

In some regard women can be the same, but to a lesser extent. How many times have we seen on these forums where women complain “well, maybe I would give more bj’s if he trimmed up down there!” Not too often, but enough to know it’s an issue for women as well.

I do think some people can be more defensive about these things and go with the “they should love me for me” train of thought. But that can be a bad train of thought. They may “love you for you”, but if attraction wanes and one is not putting forward an effort to at least try to be more attractive to their mate (especially when they were doing these things in the beginning), well then, you could be chipping your way towards a ILYBINILWY speech. This could be just “one thing”, but my guess is it is one of more than a few things. Why not chip away at easy and less than desirable things where you can? I mean geez, an occasional trim is some pretty significant and low hanging fruit if it ups your attractiveness to your mate in such a way.

And if attraction is waning over something you can easily do something about but don’t, because of some notion that “I should be loved and desired regardless, so I don’t want to mess with it” you are cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Face it…there are very few women (mine included) who are walking around with 70’s bush because “it’s too much of a pain in the butt” or who “don’t have the time” who wouldn’t subsequently be laying on a table getting their hair yanked out by the roots the minute they were single and trying to attract another man again (or the moment they started contemplated cheating with another man….how many times have we seen the “she’s trimming all of a sudden” red flag here on the forums?). I guaran-damn-tee were my W suddenly single or were she contemplating cheating or otherwise being naked in front of any other man than me, her lady bits would shortly thereafter be slightly puffy, red, sore….and substantially less hairy! And that should make me (or men in general) feel how exactly? I can tell you how it makes me feel: Like crap, and like I'm not worth her effort to overcome a little laziness to up her sexual attractiveness for me.

On the flip side, same goes for the guys. Don’t go neglecting your fingernails, carpet back, or trimming the hedges, basic grooming and hygiene for years and wonder why she’s not turned on or won’t do certain things anymore. A lot of the same guys will likely be burning up the clippers correcting that situation were they suddenly single or trying to catch the interest of a lady.

Sorry, but stretch marks, a mommy’s belly, an extra few pounds in the hips or butt, and somewhat deflated boobs won’t make someone I love less sexually attractive to me. But laziness about sexual things AND taking me for granted while using the “why can’t you just love me for me” excuse most certainly does! Because let me tell you, if a woman had Buckwheat poking out all sides of her granny panties first time the jeans dropped, I wouldn’t be around to see it again. The love keeps me here. The attraction keeps me wanting to be in “there”. 

Don't overthink things. Grab the low hanging fruit.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

> At this point in our life, my husband works full time and I am a stay at home mom. I spend 99% of my time cleaning up and taking care of everyone else. I don’t even have time to continue the hobbies I once had.


That's a problem. Yes, he works, but if he isn't at least being a "big boy" and cleaning up after himself ("clean as you go" if you will, which doesn't take a great amount of effort) then that is no good and should be addressed. It's one thing for a SAHM to keep a house orderly and clean up after the kids during the day and do other things. It's entirely another to have to pick up after a lazy ass who can't be bothered to toss socks and underwear in a hamper or wash a dish when they're done. You're a stay at home wife and a mother....not a personal servant and maid.

Believe me, I know the frustration of busting ass to keep a house clean, staying on top of it daily so it never has to become a project, and having a partner not even bother to go an extra couple feet to toss something in a hamper or take 30 seconds to wash a dish.


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

I’m going to guess that you’re going to get much different advice than what a man would get if he said his wife didn’t want to do something sexual for him.

Still, it’s his preference. He is denying you sex acts unless you’re hairless, so it’s up to you. Hair is kind of not fun when it gets in your mouth and it makes things less fresh smelling down there. It tastes and smells cleaner when there is no hair there. Just shave daily or ask him to pay for waxing or laser.

This is not a big deal. If my wife offered something sexual to me if I shaved my pubic area I would do it. You gotta do what works for the BOTH of you.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Is this REALLY just about pubic hair? I don't know you two, but.. I LOVE women. I want to talk to them. I want to sit with them. I want to eat with them. I want to get naked with them and hear them say "Oh yes Oh yes Right There" and know that I am the center of their universe right then and there. 

I loved my wife and wanted to put her in my smores instead of marshmallows since the day I met her. She has always shaved (for 25 years or so) but if she stopped tomorrow I wouldn't give a flip. It'd be like changing an outfit. Different look but the same person. 

Your husband either Does Not Love You Anymore, or he wants a ****. That's it. Or you have become a total pig - but you haven't hinted at that so we can't go there. Ask him why he doesn't like pu$$y anymore. Ask him what he wants to do about it.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> That's probably why. Most women in porn have no hair down there, so he has got used to seeing that and its what turns him on. That's why its such a thing now, women thinking they must shave, and it didn't used to be like that when I was young and its very sad.
> Maybe check he isn't still watching porn as that wont help at all. Most men who watched a lot of porn before marriage will carry on after marriage.


It might be a cultural thing. You're in the UK, yes? I'm in the US. I've been shaving for over 20 years and I was among the last of the women I knew to adopt the practice. 



Diana7 said:


> A SAHM with a baby is VERY busy.


Eh. I raised 3 as a SAHM. My DH works 12 hr days, so I felt as SAHM it was my duty to take care of everything. I did all of the housework, all of the cooking, all of the yard work, all of the auto and home maintenance, all of the pet care (3 dogs, 1 parrot, a tortoise, and a cat (who is now deceased after 16 years with us), all of the childcare, and the bill payments, plus errands. I still managed to shower and shave daily. 

It absolutely can be done. It's a matter of organization and priorities.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

So, what comes to mind is does he like to run his fingers through the hair on your head? Or, does he avoid that hair, too?

My wife had some electrolysis years ago, then some laser hair removal. She really likes the results. She has some hair left, but keeps it sheared very short. 

She has always kept it sheared short, since before I met her.

I can't imagine avoiding touching it.

Good luck with your choices.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> A SAHM with a baby is VERY busy.


That's totally false, especially when she's not dealing with a newborn. If she's that busy she needs to develop organizational skills. I was married to a SAHM and she managed to get everything done with plenty of time for her to go to the gym every day as well as leisurely go shopping whenever she wanted, and she had plenty of time to spare for other activities. You seem to have no ability to understand things that happen outside of your bubble. Are you on the spectrum? 

Not shaving isn't really about her lack of time it's simply her prioritization and justification for not doing something that she doesn't want to do. It's very hard to have an honest conversation and work through problems when spouses makes excuses to justify their behaviors instead of just being honest and open with each other. 

I once read that about 90% of the decisions that humans make are based on emotion and we use logic to try to justify our actions (I don't remember the reference where I read this). If this is true, that means that most of these disagreements can be solved by getting to the root of the problem with good communication about what it is that really bothers us. If we address the emotional needs as a priority then we've hit the root of the issue and can move forward with a solution. My gut feeling is the OP is unhappy because she feels like her husband doesn't value her contributions enough to their family so she found something to hold against him that she feels she can justify with a well worded excuse. I would guess that the husband doesn't understand why his wife doesn't value all of his hard work supporting the family and show his appreciation by taking the 5 MINUTES it takes to keep him sexually interested, especially if he has told her that it is a big deal to him. If he would show her that he valued and understood her I'd bet money she'd make sure she was clean shaven. However, from the other things posted I'd bet the communication issues go far beyond this one issue.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think that there is a lot of variation in the amount of care / energy different babies require. 



Bananapeel said:


> That's totally false, especially when she's not dealing with a newborn. If she's that busy she needs to develop organizational skills. I was married to a SAHM and she managed to get everything done with plenty of time for her to go to the gym every day as well as leisurely go shopping whenever she wanted, and she had plenty of time to spare for other activities. You seem to have no ability to understand things that happen outside of your bubble. Are you on the spectrum?
> snip
> .


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I think the point is, it's not just a preference of his, but he refuses to touch her there if she's not shaved. Yet, she reports that HE himself isn't shaved bare all of the time.

If this were my husband there would be a huge problem. Not just because his touching ofs me was so extremely conditional (not just a preference, but if it's not done he won't TOUCH her) but because my skin is so sensitive, shaving bare is a no go. Waxing a no go as well.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

uhtred said:


> I think that there is a lot of variation in the amount of care / energy different babies require.


Dude, zero excuse. I've had preemies that needed fed every 2 hrs. Still kept a clean house and a clean, hairless, body. It literally takes me 20 minutes to shower and I shave everything but my head and eyebrows. It's all about organization, schedule, and priorities. Truly.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Once again it seems that TAM’ers are not listening to what the OP has actually said.

*Did you miss the part where OP’s husband rarely touches her vagina or performs oral even when she is shaved bare? The H does not participate in sexual foreplay even when she is shaved bare?
*
This isn’t about shaving … her husband is just using that as an excuse.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> Dude, zero excuse. I've had preemies that needed fed every 2 hrs.


Every 2 hours? You had it easy! Our son (as an infant) would feed for 1/2 hour, sleep 1/2 hour, feed 1/2 hr, sleep 1/2 hr, rinse and repeat round the clock.

I missed it - was OP's husband like this before the baby? Or just since seeing the birth?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> Every 2 hours? You had it easy! Our son (as an infant) would feed for 1/2 hour, sleep 1/2 hour, feed 1/2 hr, sleep 1/2 hr, rinse and repeat round the clock.
> 
> I missed it - was OP's husband like this before the baby? Or just since seeing the birth?


2 hrs from the beginning of the last feeding. So, for example, 1:00 am: get baby > change baby > s-l-o-w-l-y feed baby .5 oz > burp baby > repeat until baby ate 2 ozs > put baby back to bed around 1:45- 2:00 am because baby is difficult to burp and takes forever > repeat at 3:00 am.


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## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Bananapeel said:


> ...My gut feeling is the OP is unhappy because she feels like her husband doesn't value her contributions enough to their family so she found something to hold against him that she feels she can justify with a well worded excuse. I would guess that the husband doesn't understand why his wife doesn't value all of his hard work supporting the family and show his appreciation by taking the 5 MINUTES it takes to keep him sexually interested, especially if he has told her that it is a big deal to him.


^^^

So much this. I doubt the OP's husband is able to communicate it well but guessing he's resentful and feeling neglected in the present situation and he's using this as a point of control and to take a stand. Most Dad's don't get much empathy or support relative to the new Moms, but in many ways they give up just as much and carry a big burden providing for the family while also caring for the kid (and especially their wife). It's very easy to feel some bitterness and resentfulness when you don't feel appreciated and your needs (even stupid ones like this) are routinely ignored or rendered as unimportant. Things can get passive/aggressive fast.

OP - I believe your husband isn't fulfilling all your needs too but would suggest you try the following if you want to break up the rut: Call his bluff and focus on his needs for awhile and see how he responds. Go ahead and shave bald. Buy something sexy you feel comfortable wearing and let him know you were thinking of him when you bought it. Talk a bit dirty with him during the day and remember to flirt. Feed his ego. And most importantly tell him you appreciate him and what he's bringing to the family regularly.

Try that for a few weeks and see if he comes around. When he does (and i'm guessing he will) then that's the time to initiate better communication and let him know your needs. Maybe that's a tough pill to swallow and maybe you'll need to fake it a bit since you might be resentful too, but its a good way to stamp out some budding issues. Being neglected in a relationship is unfortunately contagious, but the good news is that being loving and appreciative can be contagious too.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> It might be a cultural thing. You're in the UK, yes? I'm in the US. I've been shaving for over 20 years and I was among the last of the women I knew to adopt the practice.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I also bought up three children and ran the home. All my time went on them, I didn't have the time or money to do anything extra. A baby is VERY time consuming unless you are one of those very lucky people who had a baby who slept a lot(I didn't)or who had family nearby who helped out(I didn't). 

I was a teenager in the late 60's/early 70's, shaving wasn't mentioned then and none of my friends did it. Of course porn wasn't rife then either apart from some men who had magazines that usually didn't even have full nudity.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

BigDigg said:


> Bananapeel said:
> 
> 
> > ...My gut feeling is the OP is unhappy because she feels like her husband doesn't value her contributions enough to their family so she found something to hold against him that she feels she can justify with a well worded excuse. I would guess that the husband doesn't understand why his wife doesn't value all of his hard work supporting the family and show his appreciation by taking the 5 MINUTES it takes to keep him sexually interested, especially if he has told her that it is a big deal to him.
> ...


In the original post, she states he had this issue years before they had a child.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

uhtred said:


> I think that there is a lot of variation in the amount of care / energy different babies require.


Absolutely. I had three large babies who didn't sleep much and were always hungry. I didn't have a minute to myself when they were babies. I sometimes even forgot to eat in the early days. :surprise: 
I am amazed when I see babies who are fed, go to sleep and wake up and are fed, go to sleep etc.


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## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Livvie said:


> In the original post, she states he had this issue years before they had a child.


All the more reason to try this then to break the stalemate. Clearly they have underlying issues that need to be resolved. Having a new kid when you're in a relationship with issues is like dumping gasoline on a fire.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

OP, if you decide to come back.... 

You’ve got several different issues that are overlapping and confusing things.

1. Your husband doesn’t like pubic hair. This isn’t something you should ever take personally. I can’t stand arm put hair, makes me...ick. Men or women...ick. Waxing every 4-6 weeks, laser hair removal... none of these are too much to ask of you. He could also take care of the baby while he sends you to the tubs for a nice long soak followed by a close shave, followed by some kicking sex. Try not to take it personally, and work together the problem solve on how to be hair free.

2. Your husband seems to be a bit of a sexual numbskull. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a full out sexual dud, not yet at least. Make it plainly known you expect to be sexually touched in various erogenous zone during sex, prior to intercourse. Some men are dumb and don’t know that women don’t orgasm from heaving kissing followed by penetration. Tell him you expect him to help your orgasm every time you have sex. Period!

3. Try plastic wrap! Lay a nice long strip over your unshaved lady parts and this allows you to be touched and feel everything without him touching or feeling hair...provided you’re at least trimmed. 

4. Timing is everything. When he comes home from work feeling a tad randy he should take the baby and give you some time for a nice long relaxing bath. You need time to switch from Mommy-milk machine mode to shaved and sexy squeeze me mode. Work together to problem solve, to understand one another’s needs and desires.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MJJEAN said:


> Dude, zero excuse. I've had preemies that needed fed every 2 hrs. Still kept a clean house and a clean, hairless, body. It literally takes me 20 minutes to shower and I shave everything but my head and eyebrows. It's all about organization, schedule, and priorities. Truly.


You are an exceptional person!!! Truly to expect us normal women to be able to accomplish what you could is like Superman expecting everyone to run as fast. 

The first year post partum I was a slob and a mess and lucky to get my hair in a pony tail. My second baby was a breeze! My third never slept..ever...still doesn’t and she’s 18 now! With her I spent most days in bed trying to get that 30 minutes of sleep that she slept. I was a bleary eyed mess!

Organization? Ha! You have to have enough energy to make a list before you can start checking **** off the list.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Red Sonja said:


> Once again it seems that TAM’ers are not listening to what the OP has actually said.
> 
> *Did you miss the part where OP’s husband rarely touches her vagina or performs oral even when she is shaved bare? The H does not participate in sexual foreplay even when she is shaved bare?
> *
> This isn’t about shaving … her husband is just using that as an excuse.


OK, now that you mention since I did date a guy like that. I came to the conclusion that he was a closet gay looking for a beard.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

NextTimeAround said:


> OK, now that you mention since I did date a guy like that. I came to the conclusion that he was a closet gay looking for a beard.


Yeah I’m kinda coming to that conclusion myself.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> I also bought up three children and ran the home. All my time went on them, I didn't have the time or money to do anything extra. A baby is VERY time consuming unless you are one of those very lucky people who had a baby who slept a lot(I didn't)or who had family nearby who helped out(I didn't).
> 
> I was a teenager in the late 60's/early 70's, shaving wasn't mentioned then and none of my friends did it. Of course porn wasn't rife then either apart from some men who had magazines that usually didn't even have full nudity.


Was not lucky as you saw when you "liked" my post of preemie feedings. Also had no one to help, not even my baby's fathers. ExH was father to my oldest two and was completely useless. Spent most of his time off somewhere with God knows who doing God knows what. DH is father to my youngest and raised my kids from my first marriage since they were 6 and 1 year old, but he worked very long days to support the family and spent some time over the road for work, only able to come home a few days a month for a time when the kids were young and again when they were a bit older.

I was born in 75, so became an adolescent in the late 80's. The only porn kids could bet a hold of back then was by finding an older siblings or parents stash. If someone found something titillating they'd share it around. Everything we could get our hands on showed a mix of women with and without hair. The guys were also a mix of furry and smooth. By the time I was in my late teens, everyone I knew was raving about shaving and how wonderful it was for both the male and the female. I decided to try it and really liked the feel, so have been shaving ever since. Now, even the men in porn are mostly shaved. Chest, pubic, and all.



Anon Pink said:


> You are an exceptional person!!! Truly to expect us normal women to be able to accomplish what you could is like Superman expecting everyone to run as fast.
> 
> The first year post partum I was a slob and a mess and lucky to get my hair in a pony tail. My second baby was a breeze! My third never slept..ever...still doesn’t and she’s 18 now! With her I spent most days in bed trying to get that 30 minutes of sleep that she slept. I was a bleary eyed mess!
> 
> Organization? Ha! You have to have enough energy to make a list before you can start checking **** off the list.


I've never thought of myself as super at all. I'm not even energetic, lol. It was more will than anything. Babies needed care, pets needed care, house needed cleaning, things needed fixing (we were living paycheck to paycheck, so I needed to learn and execute the repairs), grass needed mowing and raking, I was the one responsible for it, so it got done. It helps to be good at multi-tasking and be young.

The frequent showering, shaving, and sex were for me as much as for my DH and our marriage. Being clean and smooth made me feel sexy. Having sex relaxed me and renewed me. Physical touch, sexual intimacy, and general closeness with DH were priorities to me, so I made the time. If I got a half hour or hour less sleep, so be it. Coffee is my friend.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> Was not lucky as you saw when you "liked" my post of preemie feedings. Also had no one to help, not even my baby's fathers. ExH was father to my oldest two and was completely useless. Spent most of his time off somewhere with God knows who doing God knows what. DH is father to my youngest and raised my kids from my first marriage since they were 6 and 1 year old, but he worked very long days to support the family and spent some time over the road for work, only able to come home a few days a month for a time when the kids were young and again when they were a bit older.
> 
> I was born in 75, so became an adolescent in the late 80's. The only porn kids could bet a hold of back then was by finding an older siblings or parents stash. If someone found something titillating they'd share it around. Everything we could get our hands on showed a mix of women with and without hair. The guys were also a mix of furry and smooth. By the time I was in my late teens, everyone I knew was raving about shaving and how wonderful it was for both the male and the female. I decided to try it and really liked the feel, so have been shaving ever since. Now, even the men in porn are mostly shaved. Chest, pubic, and all.
> 
> ...


I was a single mum of three for several years with no help from the ex or family at all so I get it. However I was always too tired and exhausted to think of myself. Worked part time as well and wasn't in good health. All of my energy went on them and keeping the home and family from falling apart. Wasn't dating during that time anyway(far too tired)so shaving wasn't even on my radar. I was born in the mid 50's BTW so quite some time before you. 
You were only born 3 years before my first child, things had changed a lot since I was born. I always hated porn from when I found my dad's stash. My respect for him went down that day. However what he had didn't show as much as they did years later.It was mainly just the top half as was pretty normal then. What would now be called 'soft' porn.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Turn it around. Buy him a razor, and tell him there will be no sex unless he shaves, too (including legs and pits!).


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Foreward - I have absolutely nothing against gay people. You are what you are, you like what you like, same as me.

Your man is gay. Or doesn't like You any more. This forum is full of silly people with silly problems. Your man is scared of pu$$ies and won't do you anymore? Ask him why! Or dump him. You have too much invested in marriage, kids, career to dump him? Then tell him you are going to take a lover and he should move to the basement. He's a wimp. Go get yours.


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## Mrs.Stone (Jan 25, 2018)

My husband and I went through this. I just stopped having sex with him. It got to the point that he was so sex deprived that he said and I quote " it could be like a weeping willows down there, for all I care."

Marriage is REAL and I DON'T have time for petty stuff. One day I May be missing an arm or a breast are you just going to walk away or treat me like less than a person? Better for me to know now than later.

Let me add, I did not care if he was going to have sex with someone eles. I was not go8ng to be pushed around into doing unnecessary stuff when I worked, went to school full time and had a new born to take care of.

Be aware some men you push will cheat but what I do know is if he will cheat over something so small mow he will leave you later. I am independent enough to know no matter what happens or how hard it is I can figure out a way to always take care of me and my little one.

You have to ask yourself are you strong enough.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> Foreward - I have absolutely nothing against gay people. You are what you are, you like what you like, same as me.
> 
> Your man is gay. Or doesn't like You any more. This forum is full of silly people with silly problems. Your man is scared of pu$$ies and won't do you anymore? Ask him why! Or dump him. You have too much invested in marriage, kids, career to dump him? Then tell him you are going to take a lover and he should move to the basement. He's a wimp. Go get yours.


Dude, why do you think every guy that's not satisfying his wife is gay? Some guys just aren't that into sex. Just like some women aren't.

OP. Go by what his actions are, not what he says.
You aren't getting oral and such whether you shave or not. Nobody but you knows whether you are capable of shaving daily, but it seems not so tough to me. Some guys just don't care to give oral. I didn't until I met the right woman. But I sure liked sex. Every night for years. Then down to about 4-5 nights a week in my late 30's.

Your husband is likely:
Lazy
Selfish
Low drive
Low testosterone.

Gay---very unlikely, I suspect.

He may even be looking at porn, which is very common, and that can be super harsh on his sex drive Toward YOU. 

I'd check that out, because from what you say, he's not into oral, or foreplay of any kind....
If he had a normal sex drive and went a week or two without, you should be getting a lot of touching and such..... I would want to.....

You really need to talk to your husband about this in a very non confrontational way. A sex therapist wouldn't be a bad idea, especially if the rest of your marriage is good


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Gay! LOL, I'm just kidding. I know he's not gay, but if a lady told me her husband or boyfriend was afraid to look at or touch her genitals, well.... It's easy to say he doesn't like girls. Actually, about 20 years ago I had a coworker who was a real macho-man who would tell us that he got lots of girls, but could only take them doggie style, because breasts and the sight of their (he would make a face here) vagina turned him off. A few years later he had a boyfriend. So that is probably why my first response is usually "He's Gay!" on topics like this. I have no issue or uncomfortable-ness with gay or lesbian people by the way. 

And I masturbate and watch porn, and it has never made me fear the vag in any state of smooth or furry-ness. So I don't see much in that line of thinking. I wish Mrs-Wedge had a little carpet to touch, but she prefers to be smooth.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> - Congrats on having your first child.:smthumbup:
> 
> - Having a child is almost like a full time job in itself and draining I'm sure.
> 
> ...


*Daily shaving in the shower seems like a viable answer. But if daily or every-other-day shaving is not your forte, then try scheduling a Brazilian wax. Those things are only needed about every six or eight weeks!

But quite frankly while I myself prefer less hair on a partner, I can't ever quite recall when it was that I turned down loving mutual sex because of the presence of pubic hair on them!

If this doesn't work, you may certainly need to seek out counseling!*


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> I was born in 75, so became an adolescent in the late 80's. The only porn kids could bet a hold of back then was by finding an older siblings or parents stash. If someone found something titillating they'd share it around. Everything we could get our hands on showed a mix of women with and without hair. The guys were also a mix of furry and smooth. By the time I was in my late teens, everyone I knew was raving about shaving and how wonderful it was for both the male and the female. I decided to try it and really liked the feel, so have been shaving ever since. Now, even the men in porn are mostly shaved. Chest, pubic, and all.


We are about the same age. You are one year older than me. In the 80s when HBO finally was available in our state, that was back when you had to actually flip a switch on an adapter behind the tv to turn on HBO. When a nude scene came on, there was no turning the channel. I remember being in the room as a kid with my parents while having a ridiculous hard on whenever someone got nude. 

Back then, some level of bush was always present. It wasn't until I was old enough to rent my own porn that I realized women with any bush at all were less common. That's when I realized that I was the one who was abnormal and actually had a bush fetish. It is what it is. You like what you like.

I'm not a fan at all of the look of fake breasts. I pretty much go for normal women. I know the majority of people like big skin covered soccer balls and shaved pubic hair. I would never tell someone what to be into sexually. 

Its funny that in the entire of existence of human life, shaved vaginas have been popular less than 30 years. I'm not sure what happened to make it turn on a dime. Pubic hair exists in order to hold pheromones. I use all five of my senses in sexual activity. I assume most people don't care about pheromones anymore.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Jus260 said:


> We are about the same age. You are one year older than me. In the 80s when HBO finally was available in our state, that was back when you had to actually flip a switch on an adapter behind the tv to turn on HBO. When a nude scene came on, there was no turning the channel. I remember being in the room as a kid with my parents while having a ridiculous hard on whenever someone got nude.
> 
> Back then, some level of bush was always present. It wasn't until I was old enough to rent my own porn that I realized women with any bush at all were less common. That's when I realized that I was the one who was abnormal and actually had a bush fetish. It is what it is. You like what you like.
> 
> ...


I remember getting HBO and all the other premium pay channels back in the late 80's. Maybe 83-85? My dad liked to have all available channels for sports, stand-up comedies, and movie releases. Showtime, Cinemax (Skin-emax), etc. We didn't have a switch to flip. We just had a scambler box with our premium channels authorized and a remote. MTV actually showed music videos 24/7! I miss that. I'm so old, I remember seeing Eddie Murphy's Delirious and Raw on HBO with my family and a few friends. It was kind of an event because not everyone had cable. Now, my kids don't even know who Eddie Murphy is!

On the other end of the spectrum from you is me, lol. I am a hetero female, but appreciate beauty. Watching porn, a full bush is an active turn off for me and I want to move on to a different video when I see one. Well groomed I can tolerate visually, but I prefer the neat and tidy appearance of shaved when getting visual sexual stimulation in the form of porn.

Actually, pubic hair removal is as old as civilization. Even in ancient times, Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians all took turns being hairless. Ancient women would tweeze, use pumice stones, herbal hair removers, and "threading" to remove their pubic hair. Then the trend went back to natural bush only to back to hairless in a repeating cycle.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

The cultured women of ancient Mesopotamia, Egypt, and Rome were all known to remove their pubic hair. Sugaring, tweezing, and waxing were used to remove every hair except on the head. Sometimes even the eyebrows. Only women who couldn’t afford to be pampered sported hair “down there”.

This has been a beauty trend for thousands of years for millions of women.

Personally I have no problem with pubic hair, but the ignorance of saying it’s a modern trend bothers me.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

WilliamM said:


> The cultured women of ancient Mesopotamia, Egypt, and Rome were all known to remove their pubic hair. Sugaring, tweezing, and waxing were used to remove every hair except on the head. Sometimes even the eyebrows. Only women who couldn’t afford to be pampered sported hair “down there”.
> 
> This has been a beauty trend for thousands of years for millions of women.
> 
> Personally I have no problem with pubic hair, but the ignorance of saying it’s a modern trend bothers me.


Trends come and go, but do you seriously think most men are going to reference ancient cultures when they ask/tell/bully their partners into shaving? 

Or do you think it's a more reasonable assumption that they've been getting off to those types of images/videos through modern porn? (Rhetorical question.)


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## ewam (May 28, 2017)

people really have such different views on pubic hair, i once had sex with this guy that when i undressed he actually told me:you look down there like a plucked chicken, sorry but shaved vaginas are a complete turn off for me.whatever he was thinking the way he said it to me was so insensitive.25 years later and i never shaved completely since.just a neat trim.his words stayed with me.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

ewam said:


> people really have such different views on pubic hair, i once had sex with this guy that when i undressed he actually told me:you look down there like a plucked chicken, sorry but shaved vaginas are a complete turn off for me.whatever he was thinking the way he said it to me was so insensitive.25 years later and i never shaved completely since.just a neat trim.his words stayed with me.


I do hope you dressed and walked out.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

minimalME said:


> I do hope you dressed and walked out.


For sure.

My first thought was why do you let what someone else says bother you? My first reaction to anything like that out of a person's mouth is there is something really, really wrong with THEM. They are the ones with a problem.

Well, my second reaction, because my first would be to rip his arm off and shove it down his throat.

If he had ridiculed the part in your hair, would you have changed that? Your choice of underwear? Why did he get to dictate your choices? Why does he still get to dictate your choices?

He should have been magnificently grateful for the delicious feast offered him, not ridiculing and demeaning.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

I don't understand the whole bald ***** thing!

I asked my wife years ago to shave it all off for me and when she did i was turned off she looked like a young girl.

Did the exact oppisite for me. Kind of turned me off.

I like natural or trimmed *****. Not bald *****.

Different strokes for different folks.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Anything more than a couple of days fuzz and I'm out. Only an idiot keeps hair on the snack bar! 

Goes for both sexes. I also keep mine shaved. No need for me to be a hypocrite about the situation.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Windwalker said:


> Anything more than a couple of days fuzz and I'm out. Only an idiot keeps hair on the snack bar!
> 
> Goes for both sexes. I also keep mine shaved. No need for me to be a hypocrite about the situation.


I prefer natural. Love that trail of hair that goes from the belly button down.


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## Mrs.Stone (Jan 25, 2018)

Sloualt said:


> I think I’ve just realized that it’s a conditional want of me sexually. And that I am only sexy to him conditionally. That condition being hairless.
> 
> I think that’s my hurt in all of it.



I think this is closer to the root of how you really feel. We all want to be loved and excepted with out conditions.

Everyone one eles in the world or even in our lives gives us conditions or expectations they want us to live up to. We don't want them from our partner also.

Often before marriage we talk with our partners to find out what those are and decide if we want to live with those buy so offten they change and we feel a way about it.

Sorry love, I really hope you two together can work through this very soon.


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## Mrs.Stone (Jan 25, 2018)

chillymorn69 said:


> I don't understand the whole bald ***** thing!
> 
> I asked my wife years ago to shave it all off for me and when she did i was turned off she looked like a young girl.
> 
> ...



I shaved for the first time (bald) for my husband, because he kept asking me to over and over. 

When I got out of the shower and saw myself I nearly throw up. All I could think of is my husband likes children he is a pedophile.

It was the longest week and a half of my life to wait for the hair to grow back.

I have NEVER been bald again.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Windwalker said:


> Anything more than a couple of days fuzz and I'm out. Only an idiot keeps hair on the snack bar!
> 
> Goes for both sexes. I also keep mine shaved. No need for me to be a hypocrite about the situation.


Hey Hey Hey!

Its cool you like what you like I get that but to say anybody is an idiot for their preferences is just rude!


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Mrs.Stone said:


> I shaved for the first time (bald) for my husband, because he kept asking me to over and over.
> 
> When I got out of the shower and saw myself I nearly throw up. All I could think of is my husband likes children he is a pedophile.
> 
> ...


So, if you're attracted to men who shave their face, that means you're into prepubesant boys? Pedo!


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

minimalME said:


> I prefer natural. Love that trail of hair that goes from the belly button down.





chillymorn69 said:


> Hey Hey Hey!
> 
> Its cool you like what you like I get that but to say anybody is an idiot for their preferences is just rude!


Lol.
Fair enough.
It was meant to be tongue in cheek, but it obviously did not come across that way.

I will refrain from saying what I was originally going to say as I would probably really upset someone. Lol.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Appreciating a shaven pubic area is no more pedophilic than appreciating shaven underarms.

The presence of hair in both regions is a sign of going into puberty. Why should one be considered differently than the other?

I do wish the OP of this thread would stop by again. I am curious about her twisted husband, and if he finds the hair on her head so offensive too. I suspect he just grabs at any reason to avoid her girlie bits.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

WilliamM said:


> Appreciating a shaven pubic area is no more pedophilic than appreciating shaven underarms.
> 
> The presence of hair in both regions is a sign of going into puberty. Why should one be considered differently than the other?
> 
> I do wish the OP of this thread would stop by again. I am curious about her twisted husband, and if he finds the hair on her head so offensive too. I suspect he just grabs at any reason to avoid her girlie bits.


While this might be true for you it might not be true for others.

If seeing someone shaved reminds you of a prepubescent person and is a turn off then its a turn off .

If seeing a big natural bush is a turn off then its a turn off.

Everybody likes what they like !


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Yes.

I did not say one view or the other is right or wrong.

I do say anyone who attempts to say those who think a completely shaven pubic region is pleasing must be pedophiles have no grounds, unless they also say appreciating shaven underarms is a sign of pedophilia.

There is no difference between the two areas except emotionally to them, and it is their issue. Biologically there is probably more reason to shave the pubic area. There was a time when it was advised, some thousand years ago, in an attempt to eliminate a scourge of pubic lice sweeping through medieval Europe. 

I appreciate a woman however she chooses to be. 

I do not appreciate people who choose to assign derogatory totally unfounded accusations against people who appreciate the totally shaven, or totally waxed, look. To me that reeks of the Salem witch trials.


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## cknpro (Aug 6, 2016)

There is a lack of communication problem in the op marriage - on both sides. Not just words being said, but the deeper, more important kind of communication. Sex IS communication and both parties are misunderstanding it and lacking in their messaging skills. 
Mrs. OP has shared how she feels here, has she said as much to Mr. OP. Has Mr. OP listened to her, really listened? Has Mrs. OP taken the time to stop thinking about herself a moment and think about the fact that her role as wife is actually more important to the relationship than her role as mom? -that the relationship is of utmost importance to little OP? 
Mr. OP has some responsibility as well. Has he looked deeper into his "preference" that seems to be a hang up instead? Can he compromise, even for the short-term while she works through her stuff? That can only happen if they talk honestly about it though. 
My advice is foe Mr. OP to back off a little bit but clearly and consistently express his preferences and why. Then he needs to ramp up his efforts to alleviate some stresses that can overwhelm a new mom while she adjusts to her new reality. It takes a while, but will realign eventually. During this time he should remind her often how much he loves her. During this time Mrs. OP should consider some of the things her husband does that she likes - shaving his face or keeping groomed otherwise and consider how'd she feel if he suddenly changed those habits and told her to learn to like it or pound sand? 

This is coming from 25 years of marital experience. Selfishness is obvious on both Mr. And Mrs. OP's part and it is a constant battle within oneself in any marriage. It does get easier in time if both parties are committed to the effort. But early in a marriage it can be a huge struggle and will be again around ants tress inducing situation - like a new baby.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

ewam said:


> people really have such different views on pubic hair, i once had sex with this guy that when i undressed he actually told me:you look down there like a plucked chicken, sorry but shaved vaginas are a complete turn off for me.whatever he was thinking the way he said it to me was so insensitive.25 years later and i never shaved completely since.just a neat trim.his words stayed with me.


Never heard of a man that stupid. Whether he liked it or not, he's an idiot. Did you have sex with this man after he said that?

I gotta know....


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

WilliamM said:


> I am curious about her twisted husband, and if he finds the hair on her head so offensive too. I suspect he just grabs at any reason to avoid her girlie bits.


Meh, I can give him the benefit of the doubt because I get it. Texture is important to me in and out of bed. If I like the texture of something, I'll stroke and touch it. If I don't, I'll avoid it. People have different textured body hair, pubic hair included. Some are soft and downy. Others are various levels of coarse. I do NOT like the texture and feel of wet pubic hair. Mine or anyone else's. Since the vagina is supposed to be wet when stroked I could see wanting it shaved to avoid the unpleasant wet dog feel.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Sloualt said:


> Even if I am shaved entirely, he will give me oral maybe 3 times a year. If I am shaved, he only sometimes reciprocated foreplay.


And you're knocking yourself out for this selfish little tool because...._why_? To get foreplay from Mr. Stud 3 whole times a year???? Be still my beating heart.

He's clearly lazy, selfish, and I'm really starting to believe he's gay.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Sloualt said:
> 
> 
> > Even if I am shaved entirely, he will give me oral maybe 3 times a year. If I am shaved, he only sometimes reciprocated foreplay.
> ...


They waited until marriage to have sex. Preferences or no, an *inability* to touch a vagina that isn't shaved bare is a huge data point. If I discovered that a man had to have me shaved bare in order to want to even touch me, I'd have to bow out in the dating period. It's fine and dandy to have preferences and want to meet them for a partner, but this isn't a preference, it is a condition. 

Given that he wasn't very into vagina even when shaved bare, it makes me ponder what is going on.

Maybe he isn't gay, but he sure isn't into vaginas very much. 

OP I have no idea about advice. This would make me very upset. Once your laser hair removal is complete and you are always bare (are you sure you want to be hairless there forever?) if he doesn't step up his game, please suggest ( sexual) counselling to tackle this issue.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> And you're knocking yourself out for this selfish little tool because...._why_? To get foreplay from Mr. Stud 3 whole times a year???? Be still my beating heart.
> 
> He's clearly lazy, selfish, and I'm really starting to believe he's gay.


Or the grooming is so sporadic he doesn't go to the area very often since he never knows what he'll find.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> She'sStillGotIt said:
> 
> 
> > And you're knocking yourself out for this selfish little tool because...._why_? To get foreplay from Mr. Stud 3 whole times a year???? Be still my beating heart.
> ...


People who are really into each other will go there whether they are freshly groomed bare or not.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Livvie said:


> People who are really into each other will go there whether they are freshly groomed bare or not.


I've got turn offs and no matter how into someone I may be, they're still turn offs and I won't go there or go there grudgingly. If pubes are a hard turn off for him, it might not matter how into her he is.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

If he is shackled by such a debilitating fetish he should have shared that information with her long ago. The OP hasn't mentioned such information. I don't jump to the conclusion her husband has such a fetish and simply has failed to inform her.

The OP has written, "Even if I am shaved entirely, he will give me oral maybe 3 times a year. If I am shaved, he only sometimes reciprocated foreplay."

I certainly see no reason to defend her husband by suggesting he must have a fetish he refuses to tell her about and on top of that for some reason he also refused to give her regular long oral sex even when she did in fact adhere to the strictures of his supposed and unspoken overruling and uncontrollable fetish.

As a disclaimer I will say I have a fetish myself, so I would understand someone who does. But I told my wife about it early in our dating. There's no obfuscation.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> Livvie said:
> 
> 
> > People who are really into each other will go there whether they are freshly groomed bare or not.
> ...


Unfortunately OP reported that even when fully shaved, he only gave her oral about 3 times a year.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Livvie said:


> Unfortunately OP reported that even when fully shaved, he only gave her oral about 3 times a year.


Yeah, but there might be a reason for that. If I didn't like my spouses pubes and they were sporadically groomed, I wouldn't be going down there very often because I wouldn't know what I'm gonna get. Best to avoid the general region. I suspect the few times he goes down are more about being in the mood to munch and her being groomed at the same time. Stars aligning.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

It could be that she smells and/or he doesn't like the taste.....

But this guy deserves no benefit of the doubt, because he won't even TOUCH her down there with his hands. He must pump his gas, put the cover on, and go on down the road, without even bothering to check his oil and clean the windshield.

He's an extremely selfish lover, strictly wants to climax and go to sleep.

She can do what she wants, but probably won't change him.
She'll wind up one of those women who makes the next guy really happy, because she will be overjoyed when she has a guy that likes her and is a decent lover....

I suggest sex therapy or therapy in general.
This guy is going to cause resentment to continue building until she's not happy.
Things like sex and wanting to feel wanted are kinda important.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Insisting on a totally shaved V is creepy. I can see having a preference or even insisting on well groomed, but insisting on totally shaved starts pinging my danger sense. 

One really ugly test would be to shave yourself, dress like a child, and try to turn him on playing like a little girl. If that gets him going, you know that your problem is that he's a pedophile. Then you can decide if you want to stay with sick and crazy or start a new life without him.


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> I remember getting HBO and all the other premium pay channels back in the late 80's. Maybe 83-85? My dad liked to have all available channels for sports, stand-up comedies, and movie releases. Showtime, Cinemax (Skin-emax), etc. We didn't have a switch to flip. We just had a scambler box with our premium channels authorized and a remote. MTV actually showed music videos 24/7! I miss that. I'm so old, I remember seeing Eddie Murphy's Delirious and Raw on HBO with my family and a few friends. It was kind of an event because not everyone had cable. Now, my kids don't even know who Eddie Murphy is!
> 
> On the other end of the spectrum from you is me, lol. I am a hetero female, but appreciate beauty. Watching porn, a full bush is an active turn off for me and I want to move on to a different video when I see one. Well groomed I can tolerate visually, but I prefer the neat and tidy appearance of shaved when getting visual sexual stimulation in the form of porn.
> 
> Actually, pubic hair removal is as old as civilization. Even in ancient times, Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians all took turns being hairless. Ancient women would tweeze, use pumice stones, herbal hair removers, and "threading" to remove their pubic hair. Then the trend went back to natural bush only to back to hairless in a repeating cycle.


I can't remember when we finally got actual cable. I think it was late 80s when we got Barden Cable which was eventually sold to Comcast. Before that, people in the area had HBO, ON or IT. I don't know if you remember those or if we were on the same side of the state. You could always tell which houses had those because of the weird antenae on the roof. The only other option was to have the giant satellite dish. Back then you literally had to turn the channel to 3, then switch the adapter to HBO.

Back to bush. The only time a bush is a problem for me is when it's attached to an overweight person. For some reason it just doesn't work. I'm also not one of those people who accuses anyone with shaved fetish to be a pedophile. I like shaved and manicured. I'm pretty much down for whatever.

I don't like chest hair or facial hair. I had a class with a girl who had a slight mustache. She was pretty but was a little heavier than the average guy would probably want. She was also at least 6 inches taller than me. I was talking about her to a friend of mine at the time. I said I was interested except for the mustache. He jumped in saying, "mustaches are sexy". At that moment I remembered his sister has a mustache. That was over 20 yrs ago and that still makes me uncomfortable. 

That was only the second most awkward situation I can remember involving his sister. He had a tattoo on his arm. I had just gotten one on my chest. The 3 of us adults were in his basement. He wanted me to show her my tattoo. Artery that, she attempts to show me the small tattoo of a pair of lips but accidentally exposed her entire right breast. The tat was just above the nipple but far enough away that she could have shown it without me knowing her in the Biblical sense. That's why they say speed kills. Within a year, I insulted his sister's mustache and also made him look at his sister's nipplebat point blank range.


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

WilliamM said:


> The cultured women of ancient Mesopotamia, Egypt, and Rome were all known to remove their pubic hair. Sugaring, tweezing, and waxing were used to remove every hair except on the head. Sometimes even the eyebrows. Only women who couldn’t afford to be pampered sported hair “down there”.
> 
> This has been a beauty trend for thousands of years for millions of women.
> 
> Personally I have no problem with pubic hair, but the ignorance of saying it’s a modern trend bothers me.


I had no knowledge of this history. I'm ignorant.


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

WilliamM said:


> For sure.
> 
> My first thought was why do you let what someone else says bother you? My first reaction to anything like that out of a person's mouth is there is something really, really wrong with THEM. They are the ones with a problem.
> 
> ...




If that guy didn't like it shaved, I would at least wait to see what the next guy likes before I go making lifestyle changes. My first job out of college was with JC Penney. There was a woman in my store who for whatever reason, I knew had hairy legs. One day I was talking to get any another young guy. She lifted up her pant leg to scratch her shin. The guy said something about it. She got upset. She said her mother told her to never shave her legs for any man. I never asked her if she shaved her pits or anything else. Knowing her, she probably would have shown me. 






Windwalker said:


> Anything more than a couple of days fuzz and I'm out. Only an idiot keeps hair on the snack bar!
> 
> Goes for both sexes. I also keep mine shaved. No need for me to be a hypocrite about the situation.


What if you are one of those men who has a hairy chest, stomach and legs? You can't realistically keep all of that shaved all the time. If you only shave your pelvis, you'll look like a freak show which is actually kind of funny. Fortunately I'm not hairy and don't have that problem to that degree.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Jus260 said:


> I can't remember when we finally got actual cable. I think it was late 80s when we got Barden Cable which was eventually sold to Comcast. Before that, people in the area had HBO, ON or IT. I don't know if you remember those or if we were on the same side of the state. You could always tell which houses had those because of the weird antenae on the roof. The only other option was to have the giant satellite dish. Back then you literally had to turn the channel to 3, then switch the adapter to HBO.
> 
> Back to bush. The only time a bush is a problem for me is when it's attached to an overweight person. For some reason it just doesn't work. I'm also not one of those people who accuses anyone with shaved fetish to be a pedophile. I like shaved and manicured. I'm pretty much down for whatever.
> 
> I don't like chest hair or facial hair. I had a class with a girl who had a slight mustache.


Ours was a local company I can't remember the name of, ended up getting eaten by Comcast, and then we had that until we moved to another city where there was a competing company offering a better deal. Through both companies, the box could only be manipulated by a tech with a key thingie that allowed for access to the internal bits related to channel reception. If you tried tampering with it, the box shut down and you had to call a tech. TV on channel 3 was the same, though. Unless you had a VCR. Then, the VCR was on channel 3 and the cable could be run through channel 4, but you had to switch the box from 3 to 4 to do that, which was something anyone could do and didn't require a tech.

Remember the scrambled porn channels? Kids would star at the scrambled channel for hours to catch a glimpse of a boob and bits.

Not a fan of the female mustache. Wax it, shave it, bleach it, but do something!



Jus260 said:


> If that guy didn't like it shaved, I would at least wait to see what the next guy likes before I go making lifestyle changes.
> 
> What if you are one of those men who has a hairy chest, stomach and legs? You can't realistically keep all of that shaved all the time. If you only shave your pelvis, you'll look like a freak show which is actually kind of funny. Fortunately I'm not hairy and don't have that problem to that degree.


 If a woman doesn't want to shave/groom her body hair, she shouldn't feel compelled to do so. However, all choices come with consequences and if a consequence is the man she's with doesn't want to go there, she should probably either reevaluate her grooming choice or her choice of partner.

Personally, I think a woman should be smooth from head down with the exception of her hair and eyebrows. A man, on the other hand, is supposed to be furry. I am very not attracted to the smooth bodies of male porn actors. When I watch porn, I tend to watch amateur porn because the men generally aren't groomed to the point of near femininity.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

I can go with what is natural although trimmed is a bit better.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think its a matter of balance. 

If he was eager to go out of his way to do whatever pleased her in bed, then sure, play to his fetish. Its harmless. What it sounds like here though is that he is a very selfish / bad lover anyway - it isn't as if he is bending over backwards for her, but she won't do something for him.

Personally shaved vs unshaved I don't care. If my wife wanted me to shave myself I would - but I would expect an enthusiastic effort on her part in return.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Not going to read the entire thread. But if he has that hangup, have him pay for laser hair removal.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Talker67 said:


> Not going to read the entire thread. But if he has that hangup, have him pay for laser hair removal.




That’s what you get for not reading the thread. lol 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> A SAHM with a baby is VERY busy.


Any busier than two late 30s PhD students working part time, class and research full time, the toddler from hell, and a baby?


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