# A few questions for first time divorce



## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

I have a few questions maybe someone can help me answer:

1. My new car is in both our names. Can I get his name off my car without going to a judge? My soon to be ex claims that we have to go to a judge, but if he voluntarily takes his name off is there a way for him to sign it over completely to me?

2. If I write up a division of assets on paper and we both sign it, is that legal in court? We are trying to do this without lawyers. Or does it need to be official and signed in front of a notary? I think he'll follow through, but trying to cover my butt when he doesn't as I am now unemployed due to circumstances and will be moving soon.

3. If I get a restraining order against my husband and we both live in the same house, provided by his work, would I have to leave right away? Or would he have to seek a temporary place to stay? (His dad lives close and sometimes he stays with him.)

4. I cannot get car insurance in my name. We have a new car. He is making me take the car. Can I require that he continues to pay car insurance until I am able to get car insurance for a reasonable price?

Thanks. I hope these questions make sense. Just looking for some advice on how to handle these things. I'm pretty clueless at this point.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

ku1980rose said:


> I have a few questions maybe someone can help me answer:
> 
> 1. My new car is in both our names. Can I get his name off my car without going to a judge? My soon to be ex claims that we have to go to a judge, but if he voluntarily takes his name off is there a way for him to sign it over completely to me?
> 
> ...


It's largely contingent upon what state you're dealing with. If it's a "community property" state, then you're likely going to have to submit it to the presiding judge to have it properly dispensed. Now if you two had a prenuptual agreement in place, then that would trump the community property. Now provided that your STBX is in total agreement, then you could execute a post-nuptual agreement that can properly convey the property/bills to each other under the general aura of mutual agreement. But I think that that would work differently as those are done on a state-by-state basis.

In any event, you'll need an attorney to help walk you through this all!


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

I had a friend tell me she did her divorce without an attorney. Just filled out the paperwork for a no fault divorce and paid fees. He will sign so that is not a problem. What if I can't afford an attorney? I am unemployed.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

ku1980rose said:


> I had a friend tell me she did her divorce without an attorney. Just filled out the paperwork for a no fault divorce and paid fees. He will sign so that is not a problem. What if I can't afford an attorney? I am unemployed.


You can go to your local courthouse, fill out the proper forms indicating your indigency, or inability to afford legal counsel, and they will appoint counsel for you. But you must be totally truthful in answering the questions on those forms!


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Well I don't have anything to hide so that's probably my best bet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

if you're talking about a restraining order, then IMO you definitely DO need an attorney. It sounds like you have some large disputed issues. The 'without an attorney' route really only works if you don't have any significant disputes.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I don't see why he couldn't just sign the title over to you. Presumably it is currently in both of your names "Jane and Joe Doe". He signs the title over to you, you take it to the motor vehicles office, they issue you a new title with only your name on it. There should be no sales tax because it is a transfer within the family. You could call motor vehicles and see what they say about the tax.

Get everything witnessed and notarized. Any adult can witness, but they should be there in front of the notary. The notary is as easy as going to your bank or credit union. Ours is free to get notarized. It is a legal document but anything can be challenged. This is why you want it notarized for sure and preferably witnessed by a 3rd person. It makes it very difficult for him to then say he never made that agreement with you.

Restraining order sounds to me like you need to get an attorney involved so it is done correctly and so that you get solid legal advice on all the details.

You and he can agree to almost any kind of settlement. If he agrees to pay the insurance, he agrees to it! Put it in writing, and preferably get him to prepay a whole year. 

You say this is a new car. Is there debt on it? Would you be willing to sell it and get a much less expensive car? It would be cheaper to insure a less valuable car. This is getting into a lot of details you might not be worrying about right now. Your post sounded like you might not really want this car due to expensses. Maybe there is a creative way to reduce expenses and meet your transportation needs.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

It's not hard to sign the title over, but if there's an outstanding loan, that doesn't remove the other party from that loan. So, if, for example, you signed a car over to him, and then he defaults on the loan, that default hits your credit, too, and they can (will) come after you for the defaulted payments.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

papa5280 said:


> if you're talking about a restraining order, then IMO you definitely DO need an attorney. It sounds like you have some large disputed issues. The 'without an attorney' route really only works if you don't have any significant disputes.


Well, I thought it would be easy, but now I'm not sure. He isn't behaving like a 38 year old mature adult. But, he says, "just take everything." But, I don't want everything and I don't want the responsibility of having to decide everything.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Thor said:


> I don't see why he couldn't just sign the title over to you. Presumably it is currently in both of your names "Jane and Joe Doe". He signs the title over to you, you take it to the motor vehicles office, they issue you a new title with only your name on it. There should be no sales tax because it is a transfer within the family. You could call motor vehicles and see what they say about the tax.
> 
> Get everything witnessed and notarized. Any adult can witness, but they should be there in front of the notary. The notary is as easy as going to your bank or credit union. Ours is free to get notarized. It is a legal document but anything can be challenged. This is why you want it notarized for sure and preferably witnessed by a 3rd person. It makes it very difficult for him to then say he never made that agreement with you.
> 
> ...


I would love to sell it and just go back to my old car that is paid of. I love my new car, but now that I lost my job I can't afford it. But, I would never get what I bought it for. I've put quite a few miles on it these past few months and had it only about 6 months. Plus the windshield needs replaced. Got a crack on my first road trip and then it grew and grew coming out of the mountains. However, my parents may be in the market for a new car that saves on gas and then they would let me possibly purchase it back later. So, yeah, there are some options.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

papa5280 said:


> It's not hard to sign the title over, but if there's an outstanding loan, that doesn't remove the other party from that loan. So, if, for example, you signed a car over to him, and then he defaults on the loan, that default hits your credit, too, and they can (will) come after you for the defaulted payments.


Well, I told him we could sign the car over. Then, I will redo the loan with my local bank. It's through Ford Credit right now. My stbxh has absolutely no credit (good or bad), so it's all on my credit right now, but his name's on there to help him earn credit. But, I don't care if he earns credit now. He's a big boy. Let him figure it out.

He tried to tell me there is absolutely no way to sign over the car unless you go to court because he's "been through this ordeal before..." But, he says whatever makes things sounds the hardest, always. It's like he thinks I'm completely stupid to believe any of what he says. For example, he has been in a new job for 2 years, makes half of what he did before, and still pays the same child support (paying over half his salary to child support). Instead of looking in to changing it he just straight out tells me that there is no way to change it until your 3 year review period is up. Well, I have tons of friends who have been to court to change child support over the years. Plus, the 3 years was supposedly up this summer and he has yet to get it changed. He always has an excuse as to why something can't be done and it doesn't matter what facts I present, he sticks to his excuse or changes it to match the new facts. 

(Sorry to rant....just starting to find a lot of anger at this point!  )


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Does your local court offer any kind of free advice? Or maybe some other government agency has a free clinic or seminar where you could get better info? Your stbxh sounds like he is not accurately informed.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Thor said:


> Does your local court offer any kind of free advice? Or maybe some other government agency has a free clinic or seminar where you could get better info? Your stbxh sounds like he is not accurately informed.


:rofl:

Not accurately informed is probably an understatement. However, sometimes I wonder if he really knows the truth, but tries to make everything seem as difficult for him as possible. Like "pity me because everything is so difficult in my life."

At this point, I'm researching online and getting help from friends. I'll complete what I can and then deal with him. He's not offering any help. Not hardly at home. And when he is, he just locks himself in the bathroom or extra bedroom.


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