# Spying with Google Voice



## Maria9938 (Feb 22, 2011)

This week my husband passively threatened to divorce me. 

He said: I'm paying attention although I'm not there. I refused to be surprised with a divorce. 

I could not understand why he would say these things. Then after some thinking I finally figured it out.

Long story short - we are hanging by a thread in roommate mode. I try to find things that make me happy without dwelling on this pain. Neither of us is putting in the work to build and maintain our relationship. We went to dinner one night and he asked if there was anything else I wanted to do. I said no. We went home. He went to a friends house. I was getting ready for the next day when some friends invited me out. While I was contemplating whether or not to go, I called the venue and asked for the hours using our home phone. I didn't go. The next day he asked me if I went. I said no. I said how did you know about that, I don't remember talking to you about it. He said he saw me looking up the map on my computer. The map he saw was related to my class. Then he makes his threats.

He straight up lied. I figured out that any calls to our home phone goes to his email via Google voice. It will send you outgoing calls, missed calls, and voicemails. 

At first I was furious. Am I being put on a leash? I don't do anything but work, school, and hang out with my friends.

Watch out for google voice folks.


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## Edge (Mar 30, 2011)

Sounds like he has some trust issues. Spying is not good.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If he wants to be a spy, let him join the CIA. I swear, I would have fun with this one and give him something interesting to find. Before I was finished, he would think I was doing half the town, worshiping the devil, cooking meth, making bombs, running for President, joining the Klan, squirreling away millions, panning for gold, dying of cancer, communicating with space aliens, all at the same time. He wouldn't know which end was up or which federal agency to run to first. It would be an absolute hoot!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Does he have reason to be monitoring your activities?


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

Edge said:


> Sounds like he has some trust issues. Spying is not good.


I thought spying was good. Nearly everyone on this site says to use keyloggers and anything else you have to see if your spouse is cheating.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Why does he need to validate your activity? Was he ever this insecure?
How forthcoming are you with your activities?

He might be cheating and he's trying to throw you off. Is he going out with friends al; the time and staying out late? He could be deleting things on his computer so you don't see them. If he starts to dress up more when he goes out he may be trying to impress some one. Do you find him hiding things like his cell and laptop are they password protected and you don't have them, then thats a big red flag. Another thing if he keeps his wallet close and if he getts jumpy when you look around his stuff then again more privacy then more secrets.

Just becareful and keep an eye out for these red flags he could be managing you it seems the cheater always accuses the LS for cheating and it always the other way around. Especially if they want alot of privacy. With privacy theres always secrets

Let him know when the both of you got married the two became one so his secrets are your secrets. Bottom line is secrets distroy a marriage and I hope he sees this and he stops making you out to be the bad guy and that he opens up on why he's being so suspicious.


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## Maria9938 (Feb 22, 2011)

He has ALWAYS kept all of his electronics password protected.
He doesn't want me near his phone. He keeps secrets. 
He always stays out late. He's a alcoholic, passive aggressive, narcissist. He even tried to cheat in my house with my cousin.

He's started being suspicious of me because I stopped worrying and I don't care what he does anymore. But I started acting like him. When he comes home after I'm asleep I don't ask any questions the next day. None. I used to, but not anymore. I'm not going to stress myself out because he doesn't want to act like my husband. He'd rather be single and that is clear.

So if I go out without him. I may tell him I may not. I recently decided to rediscover myself after he told me to stop focusing on him so much and to get my own life. So that's his reaction. So no he doesn't have a reason to be monitoring me. Is there ever a valid reason. If you have to "monitor" your spouse, you may as well get a divorce.

It looks like we've both given up. If you want to know the whole story, find my original post.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

A narcissist? Oh, that explains it. If God knows and sees all and he rather considers himself in a similar position, it stands to reason he should have his own powers of omnipotence.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Maria9938 said:


> He has ALWAYS kept all of his electronics password protected.
> He doesn't want me near his phone. He keeps secrets.
> He always stays out late. He's a alcoholic, passive aggressive, narcissist. He even tried to cheat in my house with my cousin.


And what is the reason(s) you are still with him?

If he doesn't know that you know about google voice, call him out on it and tell him it was the last straw.


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## Maria9938 (Feb 22, 2011)

Jamison said:


> And what is the reason(s) you are still with him?
> 
> If he doesn't know that you know about google voice, call him out on it and tell him it was the last straw.


Graduate school limits my ability to work full time. That's it.
I'm almost finished. 

He knows I know. I told him.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Classy...you're going to use him for financial reasons until you graduate and then stuff it to him. If he has to put up with that, I don't think you putting up with being spied on is so outrageous. Just to be clear, it sounds to me like the marriage is definitely over.


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## Maria9938 (Feb 22, 2011)

BigToe,

I worked to support him while he went to school full time to get his master's degree and looked for a job for 6 months. And he never missed a party.

I'm only halfway through and he's threatening to leave me. 

So who has the most class in your opinion?

Yes, its over. We talked about separation today.


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