# My stepson moves furniture in my house!!!Please help!!!



## marriedlife (Aug 2, 2009)

I have been married for almost 4 years and I have the same problem over and over again for the past 4 years - My stepson moves furniture around in my apartment. My husband has a son from a previous marriage who is 15. Every time he comes over to my house he moves my furniture or something else. I told my husband that I dont like that and he should tell him not to touch anything. The other day I came back home and I went to my and my husband's bedroom and I see everything moved (TV, Books, picture frames EVERYTHING) I was furious and I said to my husband that I asked him before tell his son not to touch anything in my house. My husband said to me that he just moved just those things that are not mine. I was furious. How does he think that TV in our bedroom is not mine??? I moved everything back. It happened a couple of times and my husband seems not understand that this is a problem. I am very frustrated and dont know what to do. I am about to leave my husband if this happens again. His ex wife is remarried too and he doesnt move furniture in his mom's house and especially her and her new husband's bedroom. What right does he have to do this in my house? I think every married woman would like to feel that she has a house and that she is the homemaker of this house. Please help me guys!!!


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Number one, I would tell this kid, "stay OUT of our bedroom". 

Our kids never go in our bedroom without permission.

If your request is not honored by this child, you figure out a consequence, if your dh won't deal with it.

Oh, and it isn't your house, it is this step son's home too, don't you think? Or is there some deal where he is homeless during visitations?

HE is FIFTEEN don't make his life miserable, but also don't let him walk all over you. A fine line, and the role of step parent can be very hard, if you start getting territorial.

You've been together for four years....has something changed as to why he suddenly is moving furniture? 

Has he been practicing levitation with the furnishings, as this is rather odd behavior IYAM.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

My stepdaughter has her own bedroom in our house. She basicly keeps a lot of junk there that her mother doesn't allow in her house. My mother in law also uses that spare room. My MIL once moved the couch in the great room, because she didn't like where it was. She never asked, and my hubby just moved it back at the end of the visit. Every time I bring up the topic of how domineering my MIL is, I bring up the couch-moving incident.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to ask your stepson directly to stay out of you and your husband's bedroom. It is reasonable for him to follow house rules, just like anyone else that visits, or lives in the house. Just be careful not to be unrealistic, as he is a teenage boy. He is part of your family, and ought to feel comfortable when he visits his dad.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

You can blow a pretty big hole in your marriage if you choose to lock horns with a 15 year old son...that isn't yours. Hard enough managing them when they are your own, but you add a son with divorced parents, and you just may as well set the house on fire.

Pick your battles. I repeat....


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## marriedlife (Aug 2, 2009)

This is the problem that he has been moving furniture for four years. Thats why I am here asking for help. I dont think that he needs to move furniture during visitations. Do you think it is normal moving furniture when you come visit???


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I think he's doing it for attention. Under the circumstances that that poor kid is in, ya, id say its 'normal'.


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## poetprose (Sep 1, 2009)

marriedlife said:


> I have been married for almost 4 years and I have the same problem over and over again for the past 4 years - My stepson moves furniture around in my apartment. My husband has a son from a previous marriage who is 15. Every time he comes over to my house he moves my furniture or something else. I told my husband that I dont like that and he should tell him not to touch anything. The other day I came back home and I went to my and my husband's bedroom and I see everything moved (TV, Books, picture frames EVERYTHING) I was furious and I said to my husband that I asked him before tell his son not to touch anything in my house. My husband said to me that he just moved just those things that are not mine. I was furious. How does he think that TV in our bedroom is not mine??? I moved everything back. It happened a couple of times and my husband seems not understand that this is a problem. I am very frustrated and dont know what to do. I am about to leave my husband if this happens again. His ex wife is remarried too and he doesnt move furniture in his mom's house and especially her and her new husband's bedroom. What right does he have to do this in my house? I think every married woman would like to feel that she has a house and that she is the homemaker of this house. Please help me guys!!!


With all do respect when you married the man, you also agreed to take on the step son..... why is the apartment all of a sudden just yours is it not "ours"


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Maybe its not all bad he moves furniture, long as your smarter than him and can get him to move it to where you want it...

like that 250 pound tredmill you'd like moved down in the basement.
Might be worth a try... maybe he will tire of it since your not getting mad.

POETPROSE...
it is my opinion minors do not have the option of moving the kitchen or living room around as they deem fit. It is childrens responsibility to obey, not run the show or take over.
Also is a metter of damamge that can occur from people moving stuff thats not theirs and furniture does not belong to the children, they just use it.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I wouldn't have a battle over this...although I might find it annoying....

I'd be more curious than anything...my teenagers don't move anything....moving their dirty laundry from the floor to the hamper would be nice 

I think I'd (in a curious not angry way) ask him why he likes to move things around....he might just have an inner-decorater in him or some type of ocd (like me I like everything in its place...and its place is whatever in my own mind seems like the right place)....

your best route will probably be finding out more about 'why' and compromise...it is a way for you to bond with him if you do it together, ask his opinion, etc....especially if he has his own room at your place...my kids had all the say (with $ limits) of how they wanted their room decorated...but like Sandy said, part of my compromise would be that our bedroom is 'off limits'


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## poetprose (Sep 1, 2009)

preso said:


> Maybe its not all bad he moves furniture, long as your smarter than him and can get him to move it to where you want it...
> 
> like that 250 pound tredmill you'd like moved down in the basement.
> Might be worth a try... maybe he will tire of it since your not getting mad.
> ...



POETPROSE...
it is my opinion minors do not have the option of moving the kitchen or living room around as they deem fit. It is childrens responsibility to obey, not run the show or take over.
Also is a metter of damamge that can occur from people moving stuff thats not theirs and furniture does not belong to the children, they just use it. 


My issue was to correct some faulty thinking, this lady is saying it is her house , well no it is not.... it is "their" house 


secondly it makes no difference wether the kid is a minor or a major ( over 21 hehehe), that is irrelevant, the issue is that this young step son is moving things around without discussion
that IS the problem, it is a boundry problem not age oroblem...

this perceieved crisis could be a perfect "opportunity" for this lady to develop a realtionship a good working one!!!! where it is based on compramises and getting to know one another , thus set up some boundeies


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

The problem here isn't the son, it's the husband.

The son has found a way to drive stepmom crazy and is close winning his ultimate goal.


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