# 6 months from Dday, what have I learned



## DeterminedToThrive (Nov 2, 2013)

I've learned there is almost Always trickle truth. Yes, even 5 months after Dday he admitted something that I'd been saying all along.

I've learned sometimes you have to state a fact or question just the right way to get a completely truthful answer.

I've learned I will probably never know the complete truth and even if I do, I won't know that I do.

I've learned my husband is a Major emotional repressor.

I've learned that some women have no shame or conscience.

I've learned that the temper I thought I had lost in my teens is alive and well living somewhere inside of me and apparently willing to show up to a good verbal fight. Usually with my husband, however, the mechanic that had been putting off fixing my vehicle for a month, learned about that temper the hard way.

I've learned the phrase "Recovery is like a Roller-coaster ride" is about the most accurate description of the process.

I've learned to stay quite during that awkward silent time in a discussion with my husb of little words, sometimes, if I stay quite for what seems like an eternity waiting for a response, he'll actually come up with one.

I've learned to say what I mean and mean what I say.

I've learned to state what I need, instead of ask

I've learned my husband is remorseful and is trying his best.

I've learned that sometimes I just feel bat shyte crazy and that's ok.

I've learned ... I guess I'm gonna live through it, there are days when I thought I wouldn't!



I'm sure I'll come up with more.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

For what it's worth, it gets better; it doesn't go away, but it gets better. Stick at it


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## PamJ (Mar 22, 2013)

I agree with all of your "what I have learned" list items.

The hardest thing is knowing that you will probably never know everything, and yes, even if you do, you won't know for sure if it's true.

My FWHs affairs were all long distance online/phone/texting/sexting , or so I am told and basically believe. But, there is a part of me that believes that he will/would never tell me at this point if he had ever had an actual PA because he knows it would be a deal breaker now and we would be over, and he would not risk that. So, I will never know and feel 100% sure of this.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

And some time you learn some very uncomfortable realities about yourself, and that will be ok too. 

I'm almost 3 years out, and my list keeps growing, some 20 yrs, the list will never stops now... 

The gift of the affair, it keeps giving... 

-sammy


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