# Can you lower your libido?



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

In a healthy way, not by adding a bunch of weight, high blood pressure, etc.

Is there a natural method, whether it be through mental programming, diet, health suppliment, etc. to drop your libido?


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

kingsfan said:


> In a healthy way, not by adding a bunch of weight, high blood pressure, etc.
> 
> Is there a natural method, whether it be through mental programming, diet, health suppliment, etc. to drop your libido?


When I first join the Army at the age of 18, I found that getting about six hours sleep a night and having every waking hour spent being put through rigorous training or being mercilessly beasted forced my sex drive through the floor for the duration of the training period. It had the added bonus of making me as fit as I've been in my life. Whether it's sustainable beyond about six months is questionable, though...


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I don't know if lowering your libido is possible per se, but maybe you can start some hobbies or other activities (that won't ruin a marriage) to keep your mind off of sex.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Don't worry

Get rejected enough and eventually the bitterness will surpress the hornynis!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Don't watch tv or read magazines, put a blocker on your computer, no movies over PG.


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## bluelaser (May 26, 2012)

Blanca said:


> Don't watch tv or read magazines, put a blocker on your computer, no movies over PG.


What happens to the images in your brain. Any blockers for that? :scratchhead:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Birth control. lol. For me, it tanks my libido. I was on it for 20 days after I had my daughter because we didn't want to risk getting pregnant, but my libido just sank. I got off it and my libido was back in full force in 3ish days.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Consuming wedding cake usually does that.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Why in the world would you want to?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Why in the world would you want to?


Cause he ain't getting it often enough!


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

bluelaser said:


> What happens to the images in your brain. Any blockers for that? :scratchhead:


Lobotomy.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Cause he ain't getting it often enough!


Bingo.

I'd rather not have sex on my mind than go through some frustrating days without it.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Don't worry
> 
> Get rejected enough and eventually the bitterness will surpress the hornynis!


I think you can never stop the horny.....that being said...running helps me. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Bingo.
> 
> I'd rather not have sex on my mind than go through some frustrating days without it.


You're preaching to the choir brother!

I've started to follow some advice I've been given here and have gone back to some of my old hobbies and hanging out with friends more (without the wife) and genuinely enjoying it

I've also cut back on the little things she likes like the affectionate non sexual touches, the compliments, the offers to take her shopping, etc.

If she wants to continue to go through whatever years we have left like this, I am almost ready for that transition. Heck, it's cheaper than hiring a maid/cook/laundress/nurse!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Cause he ain't getting it often enough!



At which point it's time to start making major changes.


And I do not mean the ones that involve stifling a natural, healthy sex drive.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

jaquen said:


> At which point it's time to start making major changes.
> 
> 
> And I do not mean the ones that involve stifling a natural, healthy sex drive.


Maybe, and I've thought of that. It's an issue which will be resolved one way or another before I get married again for sure. But I just wanted to know if anyone has had success lowering their sex drive.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Maybe, and I've thought of that. It's an issue which will be resolved one way or another before I get married again for sure. But I just wanted to know if anyone has had success lowering their sex drive.



OK, well if you're determined to go down that road I'll tell you what worked for me.

I have a high drive, but my wife and I practiced celibacy before marriage for years. My drive was the lowest when I abstained from masturbation. I'm not sure how normal this is, or not, but if I engage in sexual activity it just further stokes my fires. I can't just jerk off once, for example; my body begs for more if the door is opened. The only way my drive calms down is not feeding it at all.

So if you're engaging regularly in masturbation, porn, or sexual fantasy, in order to try and curb your sexless existence, try abstaining from it all. After awhile you might notice that the body stops begging for what you're clearly refusing to give it.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

jaquen said:


> OK, well if you're determined to go down that road I'll tell you what worked for me.
> 
> I have a high drive, but my wife and I practiced celibacy before marriage for years. My drive was the lowest when I abstained from masturbation. I'm not sure how normal this is, or not, but if I engage in sexual activity it just further stokes my fires. I can't just jerk off once, for example; my body begs for more if the door is opened. The only way my drive calms down is not feeding it at all.
> 
> So if you're engaging regularly in masturbation, porn, or sexual fantasy, in order to try and curb your sexless existence, try abstaining from it all. After awhile you might notice that the body stops begging for what you're clearly refusing to give it.


For me, sex isn't really about getting my rocks off, so porn, masturbation, etc. doesn't do much for me, not near as much as before anyways.

I'd say I watch porn a few times a month, for maybe a total of 30 minutes a month max. Masturbation is pretty much limited to within a few hours after sex (I use it as a way of reliving the experience I just had) or if it's been a while and I'm concerned about blue balls setting in.

So really, outside of sex, there's not much going on. Even sexual images on tv (like cheerleaders, etc.) don't really get me fired up. I think what I'm craving now through sex is love and affection, not sex itself, so images, porn, masturbation, etc. don't really do me much good and as such I don't do it often.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> For me, sex isn't really about getting my rocks off


And it isn't for me either.



kingsfan said:


> so porn, masturbation, etc. doesn't do much for me, not near as much as before anyways.


Of course it doesn't, when your craving is to make love to your wife. I wasn't suggesting it was a filler or replacement at all.



kingsfan said:


> I'd say I watch porn a few times a month, for maybe a total of 30 minutes a month max. Masturbation is pretty much limited to within a few hours after sex (I use it as a way of reliving the experience I just had) or if it's been a while and I'm concerned about blue balls setting in.
> 
> So really, outside of sex, there's not much going on. Even sexual images on tv (like cheerleaders, etc.) don't really get me fired up. I think what I'm craving now through sex is love and affection, not sex itself, so images, porn, masturbation, etc. don't really do me much good and as such I don't do it often.


Well this makes more sense to me. You're craving connection, love, and want to be desired and appreciated. I think you should reword your OP, which is about libido. Nobody's advice to lower libido is going to help you one bit because a lower libido will not in any way lower your desire to make love, and be made love to.

Your problem isn't your drive at all. Your problem goes much deeper than that.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Don't worry
> 
> Get rejected enough and eventually the bitterness will surpress the hornynis!


Oh yes, an age-old fool-proof method.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

jaquen said:


> OK, well if you're determined to go down that road I'll tell you what worked for me.
> 
> I have a high drive, but my wife and I practiced celibacy before marriage for years. My drive was the lowest when I abstained from masturbation. I'm not sure how normal this is, or not, but if I engage in sexual activity it just further stokes my fires. I can't just jerk off once, for example; my body begs for more if the door is opened. The only way my drive calms down is not feeding it at all.
> 
> Sad, ain't it??


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Sad, ain't it??


It's definitely sad if you're going through forced celibacy against your will because a partner won't give out, yes.

I can't call my specific situation "sad" though. We mutually agreed upon celibacy, but when we broke celibacy after marriage the party was on! My wife has a higher drive, like I do, loves sex, and loves to please me, so it all worked out perfectly for us.

I just feel really bad for men and women who are going through this crap because of selfish spouses who don't feel sex is vital to marriage.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

jaquen said:


> And it isn't for me either.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Perhaps you are correct. I'm not sure. I guess to me, libido has been about 95% based on a desire to feel connected/loved/etc. rather than just sex. Sure, once in a while you just want to get wild and have some hot sex, but much of it for me is connection and love. Not really sure how that information will help me, but i do thank you for pointing it out.


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