# Ex introduced our kids to her AP. If they ask, can I be honest now?



## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

I won't go into too much background because I've posted on here before and people can read those, but long story short, my ex and I finalized our divorce last month. We'd been separated for over a year after my ex admitted she was having an affair with an ex-boyfriend and wanted to be with him. We've got two kids (13 and 7). When we split, we didn't tell the kids about the affair because the child therapist we consulted thought it was a bad idea and we should really just emphasize that the divorce wasn't due to them, we still loved them, etc. I was okay with that.

Fast forward to this weekend and my ex tells me she wanted to give me a heads up that she was introducing our kids to her boyfriend and wanted to let me know in case the kids asked me any questions. This is my ex's week with the kids (we trade off every Friday) so I have not seen them yet, but my question is that either of them come to me with a question about how my ex and this guy met or what I think about it or anything like that, am I allowed to be honest now that she introduced him?

Mind you, I'm not saying I want to be vindictive and trash the guy, but I also don't want to lie to my kids if they were to point blank ask me if I knew when they met, how long they've been together, etc. Granted, I'm not convinced my kids will ask because the 13 year old is very guarded and quiet and the 7 year old might be too young to ask. But I figured folks on here have been in similar situations so I was just curious to get peoples thoughts.


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

100% yes you tell them, in an age appropriate way who he is and what their mom did to end the marriage. Please don’t let the kids think the divorce had anything to do with them. They deserve to know the truth.


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## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

I am very certain the kids know the divorce was not about them. If they think anything, they just think something very generic like their mom and I fell out of love. But of course that always begets the question of "why did my parents fall out of love?" Well, it was because she was screwing an ex for 2 years but I've held my tongue on that because they haven't asked and I don't think I should just volunteer that to be vindictive. But if they ask I feel like it is fair game for me to answer them honestly, but as you said, in an age appropriate way.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

What is she telling them how they met? Maybe ask your ex what she plans on sharing and if it’s a flat out lie, then you need to sort that out with her before telling them a different story. I think that would be best in terms of not causing confusion with your kids.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

justaguylookingforhelp said:


> I won't go into too much background because I've posted on here before and people can read those, but long story short, my ex and I finalized our divorce last month. We'd been separated for over a year after my ex admitted she was having an affair with an ex-boyfriend and wanted to be with him. We've got two kids (13 and 7). When we split, we didn't tell the kids about the affair because the child therapist we consulted thought it was a bad idea and we should really just emphasize that the divorce wasn't due to them, we still loved them, etc. I was okay with that.
> 
> Fast forward to this weekend and my ex tells me she wanted to give me a heads up that she was introducing our kids to her boyfriend and wanted to let me know in case the kids asked me any questions. This is my ex's week with the kids (we trade off every Friday) so I have not seen them yet, but my question is that either of them come to me with a question about how my ex and this guy met or what I think about it or anything like that, am I allowed to be honest now that she introduced him?
> 
> Mind you, I'm not saying I want to be vindictive and trash the guy, but I also don't want to lie to my kids if they were to point blank ask me if I knew when they met, how long they've been together, etc. Granted, I'm not convinced my kids will ask because the 13 year old is very guarded and quiet and the 7 year old might be too young to ask. But I figured folks on here have been in similar situations so I was just curious to get peoples thoughts.


Unfortunately, your child therapist gave you horrible advice I think. You can tell the kids at a high-level what happened and why mommy and daddy can’t be married anymore, without getting into the granular details.

And you don’t have to ask permission from your wife, a therapist, the people on this forum, or anyone else.
Covering up her betrayal of you “for the sake of the fragile children“ is still covering up for her and it’s ridiculous. I would absolutely make damn sure my children knew the gist of what happened that caused their lives to be disrupted. (Edit to reiterate: in a high-level, sanitized manner)


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

justaguylookingforhelp said:


> I won't go into too much background because I've posted on here before and people can read those, but long story short, my ex and I finalized our divorce last month. We'd been separated for over a year after my ex admitted she was having an affair with an ex-boyfriend and wanted to be with him. We've got two kids (13 and 7). When we split, we didn't tell the kids about the affair because the child therapist we consulted thought it was a bad idea and we should really just emphasize that the divorce wasn't due to them, we still loved them, etc. I was okay with that.
> 
> Fast forward to this weekend and my ex tells me she wanted to give me a heads up that she was introducing our kids to her boyfriend and wanted to let me know in case the kids asked me any questions. This is my ex's week with the kids (we trade off every Friday) so I have not seen them yet, but my question is that either of them come to me with a question about how my ex and this guy met or what I think about it or anything like that, am I allowed to be honest now that she introduced him?
> 
> Mind you, I'm not saying I want to be vindictive and trash the guy, but I also don't want to lie to my kids if they were to point blank ask me if I knew when they met, how long they've been together, etc. Granted, I'm not convinced my kids will ask because the 13 year old is very guarded and quiet and the 7 year old might be too young to ask. But I figured folks on here have been in similar situations so I was just curious to get peoples thoughts.


Leave kids out of adult business. They're too young to be burdened with it. Be discreet and think about the kids, not yourself and how bad you'd like to burn their mother for burning you.


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## BFG69 (Aug 5, 2021)

Please keep the kids out of it. Divorce is hard enough on them. They still need their mother as much as they need their father. 
Just because there is an opportunity doesn't mean you should reveal adult situations.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

justaguylookingforhelp said:


> I am very certain the kids know the divorce was not about them. If they think anything, they just think something very generic like their mom and I fell out of love. But of course that always begets the question of "why did my parents fall out of love?" Well, it was because she was screwing an ex for 2 years but I've held my tongue on that because they haven't asked and I don't think I should just volunteer that to be vindictive. But if they ask I feel like it is fair game for me to answer them honestly, but as you said, in an age appropriate way.


My advice is in two parts.

If they ask how their mom met this other guy, tell them that is a question for their mother to answer, but that you were aware of their relationship (just leave it vague as to how long you have been award). If they ask for details, tell them that as a gentleman, this is a private matter between you and their mom and that they need to respect your ethics.

If they ask how you and their mom fell out of love. You can be honest and tell them that it happened over time and was because of things that their mom did that destroyed your feelings for her. You don't have to go into details. If they want details tell them to ask their mother.

Yes, your wife will probably create whole fantasy about what happened that paints you in a bad light. But be honest and ultimately the truth will come out. When it does, if your wife has lied to her children it will hurt her far more than you. The problem with lies are that they ultimately fall apart at the worst of times.


Good luck.


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

Kids are resilient, and I guarantee you that your children probably already know something was very afoul with you and your wife. Not telling your kids what really happened is protecting your ex, not your children. My brother and myself were 12 and 8 when this happened to our family, we knew what was going on without any adult explanation, we turned out okay. Your kids can handle the truth. That’s the price your ex and her Loverboy get to pay to be the happy couple.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Kids aren’t stupid. Don’t lie to them. Tell them in a sanitized way. You don’t need your wife’s permission.
In these situations I’d run a hard no control. Communicate by text or email kids only. Keep everything separate. You have your time she has hers. You’ll find it’ll make life a lot easier that way.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I doubt they will ask about the guy or how they met. Keep quiet, she is their mum.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Be as honest as you can without being petty about it.

You’ll note that this should include correcting any lies they’ve been told.


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## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

Marc878 said:


> Kids aren’t stupid. Don’t lie to them. Tell them in a sanitized way. You don’t need your wife’s permission.
> In these situations I’d run a hard no control. Communicate by text or email kids only. Keep everything separate. You have your time she has hers. You’ll find it’ll make life a lot easier that way.


Yes, I very much already do this. My ex has contacted me a few times (although it has gone steadily down) about things not related to the kids, but I only communicate about things related to the kids and pretty much only by text. I just have no interest in engaging with her. I've found that has helped the moving forward process a lot.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

justaguylookingforhelp said:


> Yes, I very much already do this. My ex has contacted me a few times (although it has gone steadily down) about things not related to the kids, but I only communicate about things related to the kids and pretty much only by text. I just have no interest in engaging with her. I've found that has helped the moving forward process a lot.


Good. They usually want the friends thing. You may even get “do it for the kids” guilt trip.
Definition of friend - loyal, honest and trustworthy. They didn't give a thought about blowing the kids life up.
You will move on a lot faster this way. I know two with younger kids who say it’s the best thing they’ve done.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I think your therapist was wrong and don't think it ever should have been covered up in the first place. 

You can't hide reality and the truth will always come out. Lying to kids about fundamental family matters will only harm your credibility with them and cause them to be suspicious and lose trust and faith in you. 

It should be done in an age appropriate manner of course and no need to slander their mother but it is important for kids to understand that bad behavior will have ramifications and consequences. 

It's not your job to cover up your cheating ex's bad behavior or protect her from the ramifications of her bad behavior.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Absolutely tell the kids the truth. Thinking that love can just 'turn off' with no real known reason will make them wonder if you could suddenly stop loving them. Not to mention, you have no reason to support her lies about how/when she started dating her 'boyfriend.'

You don't need to get into big details. Just tell them that she has been dating him for years, which is the reason you got divorced.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> Absolutely tell the kids the truth. Thinking that love can just 'turn off' with no real known reason will make them wonder if you could suddenly stop loving them.
> 
> You don't need to get into big details. Just tell them that she has been dating him for years, which is the reason you got divorced.


I was about to say this as well. 

IMHO it is more troublesome for kids to think divorce just happens for no reason than due to bad behavior such as cheating.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

I think you should tell the kids you are open to talking with them about the situation anytime they want to talk and leave it at that. Tell them you will answer any questions they might have.

I think the 13 year old will have more maturity and better be able to process this. But the 7 year old will be a tougher situation. But I believe letting them approach you when they are ready to talk will make it a bit easier along with less pressure.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Tell the kids. That's what I would do.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

To @justaguylookingforhelp - I've briefly checked out your other threads. I assume the kids were DNA tested and definitely yours? It's pretty shocking that this started just a year into your marriage. Do you think your wife wishes the kids were with her AP and not you? On the surface, that almost sounds obvious, but dang, what a terrible thing for the kids to grow up with, and they will be growing up with exactly that... your ex having to deal with you, because you're the kid's father, but wishing you weren't the father. 

I think that's a conversation you ought to have with your wife and begin to consider that what you tell your kids needs to keep that in mind. It would be really easy for those two kids to think they're not really wanted, misreading signals from your ex, her AP, reading between the lines. You and your ex (STBX I should say) need to make sure that doesn't happen. 

What do you know about AP? Aside from the fact that he's not an honorable man? Will he make a good parent? 

What I'm getting at is, you need to confront your fears and issues before getting together with the kids. You might suggest to your STBX that maybe this is too soon for her to be introducing you AP, because you haven't gone through this stuff. And of course, that's when she tells you "Well, it's a bit too late for that now; they actually met him last month..."

My heart goes out to you. And your kids.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

If your kids asks you questions or if your ex had lied then you can set the record straight. I wouldn't go out of my way to tell them nor would I lie to my children. Just my opinion anyway.


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## GG1061 (Apr 20, 2021)

Casual Observer said:


> To @justaguylookingforhelp - I've briefly checked out your other threads. I assume the kids were DNA tested and definitely yours? It's pretty shocking that this started just a year into your marriage. Do you think your wife wishes the kids were with her AP and not you? On the surface, that almost sounds obvious, but dang, what a terrible thing for the kids to grow up with, and they will be growing up with exactly that... your ex having to deal with you, because you're the kid's father, but wishing you weren't the father.
> 
> I think that's a conversation you ought to have with your wife and begin to consider that what you tell your kids needs to keep that in mind. It would be really easy for those two kids to think they're not really wanted, misreading signals from your ex, her AP, reading between the lines. You and your ex (STBX I should say) need to make sure that doesn't happen.
> 
> ...


That's the thing. What they are not told they are narrating in their own minds. This dubious *****-footing around the circumstances that are majorly altering their life, questioning who they are, trying to reconcile what is family life is not serving them. It amounts to lying by omission. Are they supposed to go on thinking that mommy having a new bf when mommy and daddy were still married is OK? That's really setting a low bar for them to live up to. Parents should be honest in matters that impact their children's lives. This situation is being thrust on them by no choice or control of their own.

If not now, when is the discussion supposed to take place? After they have already been allowed to write the history of their life without proper understanding? How does that serve or protect them? After a certain age they will feel betrayed themselves for not being told the cold truth. My children were 9 and 7 when their mother blew up their world. They hated the life they had to live. They despised AP. But they were aware of the reason why, which in my mind gave them basis to make sense out of the disaster. I didn't have to say much, very little in fact. Everyone around them helped them see how wrong everything was. To their credit they have not mimicked any of their mother's behavior in their own marriages. On top of that, they still have the character to love and care for their mom despite all they went through. My oldest attributes her experience as reason she is motivated to be a faithful wife and a nurturing mother.


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## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

Casual Observer said:


> To @justaguylookingforhelp - I've briefly checked out your other threads. I assume the kids were DNA tested and definitely yours? It's pretty shocking that this started just a year into your marriage. Do you think your wife wishes the kids were with her AP and not you? On the surface, that almost sounds obvious, but dang, what a terrible thing for the kids to grow up with, and they will be growing up with exactly that... your ex having to deal with you, because you're the kid's father, but wishing you weren't the father.
> 
> I think that's a conversation you ought to have with your wife and begin to consider that what you tell your kids needs to keep that in mind. It would be really easy for those two kids to think they're not really wanted, misreading signals from your ex, her AP, reading between the lines. You and your ex (STBX I should say) need to make sure that doesn't happen.
> 
> ...


Kids are both definitely mine. Testing has been done. As for the question about wishing the kids were with the AP, I'm not sure. My ex thinks I am a good father and I don't think she's just blowing smoke. I think she knew for years I was the better parent. That being said, I do think she probably wishes she could turn back time and run off with this ex 15 years ago instead of getting married to me. She probably does regret not having children with him, but she has never said that to me so I am just guessing. 

I don't know that much about the AP, only what I have heard from my ex's family and that information is mostly old because they first dated like 20 years ago. All I know is he was also married when this affair started 2+ years ago and got divorced himself due to it, has one kid of his own. From what I understand from my ex's family, he was a bit of a nut as a teenager and guy in his early 20s, was very controlling and possessive, and is the exact opposite of my ex in a lot of ways (they are aligned differently on politics, he is very religious, she is not; he is a teetotaler, she is not). I think he is pretty financially secure and that is definitely appealing to my ex whether she cares to admit it or not. The only other thing I know about him, and to some extent my ex, is that he is convinced they are soulmates, are meant to be together, etc. That is partly why he had no issue destroying his marriage and our marriage to pursue her. All that being said, I have no idea if he will be a good step-parent to my kids if him and my ex get married. I honestly have no clue. I think he would try but from everything I know, he is radically different from me so I'm not sure how well his parenting style and personality and my kids would mesh.

As far as I understand, they met him this weekend. So that has already happened.


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## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> If your kids asks you questions or if your ex had lied then you can set the record straight. I wouldn't go out of my way to tell them nor would I lie to my children. Just my opinion anyway.


This is what I was thinking all along. I wasn't going to go up to my kids and say "I heard you met your mom's new boyfriend, how was that?" but if they came to me with questions, I felt like I would answer them honestly, but also age appropriately. I'm willing to admit that I'm angry with my ex for how she handled all this (but I'm also totally fine with the relationship ending) but I have no interest in slandering her just to make her look bad to the kids. She's still their mom and I'm not trying to muddy those waters. I think some people read my OP and thought I was saying I just wanted to trash her given the opportunity. That isn't my intention. It's more like if one of the kids asked if I knew about the boyfriend, I'd be honest and say I did and that was why the divorce happened.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

justaguylookingforhelp said:


> It's more like if one of the kids asked if I knew about the boyfriend, I'd be honest and say I did and that was why the divorce happened.


My 6, 11, and 13 year olds know that my wife cheated. Telling the older two was done after talking to a therapist and social worker that were working with my wife and family, my IC, and three children's therapists (because each of my kids are with a different therapist). They all agreed that the two older children needed to know, in an age-appropriate way (the younger was a toddler at the time).

My kids needed to know because they needed to know why mom and dad were fighting so much, why we were both so distraught, why we were possibly divorcing, etc. And they needed an honest, relatable answer - not "mom and dad fell out of love". They also needed to know because my second oldest child was conceived from an affair and they were starting to wonder why she had a different dad and why she had a different dad but wasn't the oldest. Telling them was the right choice, given the circumstances.

On the other hand, they do not know that I kind of cheated as well because they don't need to know. There is no reason to tell them, and telling them would probably do more harm than good even if it's "lying" to them.

So, really think about whether your kids need to know or not. 

If your kids ask "do you know moms BF?", that is NOT a reason to bring up her infidelity. A simple, "yes, I do" is enough. Part of being age-appropriate means only giving them the information they ask for. That doesn't necessarily mean they will straight up ask "did mom cheat?" but sometimes it is the only answer to their question (if you are going to take the honest route). 

At 13 and 7, your kids would need to be told separately, age-appropriately, and only give them as much information as they need to know or ask for. You would also need to tell your 13 year old that questions about it should be asked without the 7 year old around. That likely won't always work, so be prepared for that. 

You should also only answer questions that are general questions or that only you can answer. For example, if they want to know how YOU felt, why YOU made certain choices, etc., those are things only you can answer. If they ask you why mom did x, what she was thinking, what she was feeling, etc., those are questions only she can answer. So you would say, "I don't know why mom... you will have to ask her". At most you can say what you think but you need to be clear that it's just what you think.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Marc878 said:


> Kids aren’t stupid. Don’t lie to them. Tell them in a sanitized way. You don’t need your wife’s permission.
> In these situations I’d run a hard no control. Communicate by text or email kids only. Keep everything separate. You have your time she has hers. You’ll find it’ll make life a lot easier that way.


I agree, tell them in an age appropriate way. You don't want to lie to them -- you want them to know you will always be truthful with them. They need to know at least one parent is being truthful. If they find out down the line and find out that you lied or misdirected them, they will be pissed and won't trust you....


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

If it was me, I'd take control here, NOT to get back at her, but so that going forward the kids will trust both of you. Honesty is the miniumum that kids need from both parents, not just one, to feel safe & grow up as grounded adults.
I'd tell her that IF they ask you, will say that Mom fell in love with AP but you won't mention the overlap for now. And that you'll assure them she loves them just as much and is a great Mom.

I'd also tell her that they will need to be told about the overlap in time because you don't want them finding out from someone else (which is inevitable down the track). My 13-year-old self would have hated to find out like that. It might not be that far away since your oldest is 13. The younger one will have to be told at the same time though, a downside but unavoidable as the 13-year-old couldn't be told not to tell the younger one. 

My instinct says to wait until one of them asks i.e. not to make too much of a big thing of it. 

That is ONLY my opinion. It's a very very tricky situation. I don't envy you.
How are they doing emotionally with the divorce? That would play a factor in all this I think.


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## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

********** said:


> If it was me, I'd take control here, NOT to get back at her, but so that going forward the kids will trust both of you. Honesty is the miniumum that kids need from both parents, not just one, to feel safe & grow up as grounded adults.
> I'd tell her that IF they ask you, will say that Mom fell in love with AP but you won't mention the overlap for now. And that you'll assure them she loves them just as much and is a great Mom.
> 
> I'd also tell her that they will need to be told about the overlap in time because you don't want them finding out from someone else (which is inevitable down the track). My 13-year-old self would have hated to find out like that. It might not be that far away since your oldest is 13. The younger one will have to be told at the same time though, a downside but unavoidable as the 13-year-old couldn't be told not to tell the younger one.
> ...


Hard to say, partially because the 13 year old keeps things pretty close to the vest. She seems like she has adapted pretty well considering how angry and upset she was at first. The 7 year old has definitely shown some signs of regression and is really clingy with me. Don't know how she acts around my ex, but I know she is super clingy with me and often acts like she needs help with things she really doesn't just to get the attention.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

@justaguylookingforhelp. Let me put it to you based on my experience.

We were court mandated to take a class on putting children first in a divorce. And in that, because the children are innocent of all of this, we are not to malign the other parent.

This is something I really took to heart because I do not want to burden my kids with the divorce drama. Years go by, my X now married to one of her affair partners, and it's clear she didn't learn a thing from these classes. She would badmouth me to my kids. And although I never told them the true story, especially since they were young when it happened, SHE decided she was going to put it in their heads that I was the one that was the reason the marriage failed.

Well, by this time my kids were older and after years of biting my tongue, I had enough. I sat both of them down when they decided to blame me for not being married to their mother anymore and told them exactly what happened. That I would take care of them while she went out and f****d other men, and one of those men now being their step father. I could have knocked them over with a feather. Things were different after that, and my X even had the nerve to call me and cuss me out for badmouthing her.

So my advice as a good father is, do not offer up that information. Your kids are the innocents here. If they ask straight up something like, "was mom seeing John when married to you", then of course, you don't lie to them, and at that point you aren't putting them in the middle....they ASKED.

Now if your X ever tries to brainwash them against you and try to make it out that you were the reason the family isn't together any longer....then I'd say the gloves are off and as @RandomDude said, you can set the record straight.

But until then, or until they ask, you shouldn't, IMO, burden them with that information. Trust me, I know it is really tempting to tell them what a huss their mother was and that she didn't care enough about them to try to keep the family together, but resist that idea until you have no choice.


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

drencrom said:


> But until then, or until they ask, you shouldn't, IMO, burden them with that information. Trust me, I know it is really tempting to tell them what a huss their mother was and that she didn't care enough about them to try to keep the family together, but resist that idea until you have no choice.



@drencrom you nailed it IMO.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

Please keep your kids out of the 'adult' stuff the best you can. Tell them the truth at a very simple level that they can understand, but only if they ask. Keep all discussions light and positive the best you can.

No matter how you personally feel, under no circumstance should you trash your XW or her AP. Doing so will backfire on you. You have to let the kids form their own opinions. Those opinions will change over time as they get older. Show your kids that you respect everyone involved, and they in turn should respect you more in the end.

JMHO.


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## becarefulwho (7 mo ago)

It sounds like you are quite reasonable and you are co-parenting without major conflict. If so, you might do the hard thing and decide together what you will and will not discuss with the kids and talk to them as a parenting unit, so that they don't feel that they are responsible for holding any secrets from either you or your ex.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

drencrom said:


> @justaguylookingforhelp. Let me put it to you based on my experience.
> 
> We were court mandated to take a class on putting children first in a divorce. And in that, because the children are innocent of all of this, we are not to malign the other parent.
> 
> ...


That's pretty much my story. Kept my mouth shut for about 5 years. Daughter was around 9-10, and started mentioning that her mom had told her we divorced because I was away too much. After she brought it up 4-5x over about a month, she was told the truth in a bland way ("your mom started dating Sancho while we were still married"). She never let her mom know that she knew the truth, but then a year or so ago her mom admitted it to her during an intense conversation they were having. Mom also apparently told her it was the biggest regret of her life. I guess Sancho isn't quite as flawless as she thought after a decade.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

OnTheRocks said:


> That's pretty much my story. Kept my mouth shut for about 5 years. Daughter was around 9-10, and started mentioning that her mom had told her we divorced because I was away too much. After she brought it up 4-5x over about a month, she was told the truth in a bland way ("your mom started dating Sancho while we were still married"). She never let her mom know that she knew the truth, but then a year or so ago her mom admitted it to her during an intense conversation they were having. Mom also apparently told her it was the biggest regret of her life. I guess Sancho isn't quite as flawless as she thought after a decade.


So basically her mom just admitted she lied about the true reason of the downfall of the marriage. Mother of the year!!


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## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

In the eternal "kids are smarter than adults give them credit for" scenario, since my OP, my ex has introduced her AP to the kids and had him around them at least twice. Since she introduced him, my youngest has already told my ex that she knows her new boyfriend is why we got divorced. I don't get the sense my ex tried to disagree with her. My oldest has not said anything about it to me and I don't know how she reacted because I haven't asked. The only thing my youngest has said to me is to ask if I was going to have a girlfriend soon. I was honest with her and told her it wasn't something I was looking for right now, but it might happen eventually. That is all that has been said to this point.

I do appreciate all the responses. It definitely gave me food for thought.


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