# Lost..



## LuvZumba (Nov 26, 2011)

I caught my husband of almost 6 years talking to this 49 year old (we are a lot younger) woman sexually in texts. (he has done this one other time while he was on TDY) We tried counseling once and never went back. He told me he wanted a divorce while I was crying over what I found. Then tells me he doesn't love me anymore. We have a Disney trip over Christmas planned, and he said he was going to tell me over Martin Luther holiday in Jan. We have both cried Divorce before. Anyway, we stay up all night talking, and he calls the woman he was texting and tells her he's going to work on his marriage. She was like "ok" he seemed hurt by that lack luster response.

She has a boyfriend and my hubs liked the attention (he can be so dumb sometimes) so he was prob disappointed by the lack of intrest.. He gives me his phone and I forward the texts to my account and he opens the (new e-mail he made to cheat with) and I forward those e-mails to myself. He said he was showing trust. I wanted proof to take to his command and show adultery. Later that night he blocks me from the cell account and the bank account (he's the primary) I told him I have my own passcode to enter our account, but he doesn't know I can still see the activity. So he's ok with it.

I'm a communicator and he is not it's like pulling teeth to get him to express feelings sometimes. I understand he has seen people die and he has PTSD, but I'm his wife talk to me! I was physically abused from the age 6 to 13 by my father and friend of the family. Horrible thoughts started creeping into my head about him touching our daughter inappropriately. I would accuse him over and over again. He says he can't deal with it anymore. I would rage sometimes and would toss stuff at the walls (not at him). I don't do it anymore I go to counseling and I'm working on my issues. He's not going to his regularly.

So I asked him if he wanted to do Marriage counseling and he said "NO". After a few days he said yes, and maybe he might change how he feels about me. And he has put the separation to the side. In the mean time, he stays at a friends at night because I can't have him in the house in another room. It just hurts. He comes over every morning and we do things normal like a family. Thanksgiving he made the whole meal. I was still reeling from the whole mess and stayed in bed. He brought my food up and makes sure I'm taken care of. Being way to upbeat. Same for today we put the tree up. I cried he touched my arm which is a change since he had been a cold hearted bastard to me right after it went down. Telling me he wanted to be my friend and he didn't want to lead me on and saying no to MC. I mean that day he told me he loved me. We were making plans for the future another baby ect. He claims that woman is history. Who knows!

So now we are still planning our trip. He is here with us everyday, after our dd goes to bed he asks if I need anything or want to talk then leaves. I feel so lost I miss the hugs and kisses and him being next to me in bed. I don't know how one day a person can be normal to I don't love u. He has come back to being himself since he dropped that bomb on me.. He has always been a good husband and a terrific father. He says no matter what he wants to makes sure our daughter and I are taken care of. So we start counseling Tuesday and we won't be reavaluating what we want till after the hilidays. This Hurts, I feel so lost. L

Update... He has moved back home and wants to do Marriage Counceling. He says the OW is out of the picture and they have had no contact. That it was a texting fantasy and that was all. Ok, we'll deal with that in MC. For now we are heading to Disney over the holidays minus his family. So we can focus on us. Our first MC session with the post Chaplin Tuesday. I'm not sure what changed a week ago he wanted a D and nothing else.


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