# POLL - Whether Spouses should share all account information and passwords?



## CuriousIam (Aug 17, 2011)

I'm looking to poll everyone and see as many responses as possible as to whether spouses should share with each the names/email addresses as to each of their facebook/email accounts and all of their passwords?

Would you respond differently if there had been an affair in the past, whether recently or a long time ago?


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Yes they should. There shouldn't be secrets in a marriage. I shouldn't be saying anything on facebook or in an email that I don't want my SO to find out about.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Syrum said:


> Yes they should. There shouldn't be secrets in a marriage. I shouldn't be saying anything on facebook or in an email that I don't want my SO to find out about.


+1


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My husband has no facebook, myspace or anything like that.

Email is not an obsession for him.

His bank accounts are his bank accounts. We've never had an issue with money or sharing money. (I have my own account as well and won't merge them).

He knows my password (it's the same for everything)...but I have nothing to hide so I don't care.

I know his ATM pin and the password to his laptop and phone, but other than that, I don't really care to have them at all.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Me & my husband has always been *willingly **transparent in **all things*- like this. 

I feel this level of OPENNESS before each other keeps people from straying- if you live like this from the Get-go , it is a firmer foundation to rest in. If this starts to falter, something is amiss. I don't feel a spouse should ever hesitate, even for a second, to share these things with the other. They shouldn't even have to ask-really. 

Secrets have a way of causing a slow divide in the heart, bonding is compromised..

Of coarse it helps IF both spouses are generally EASY to get along with & understanding as ...some people tend to be a little paranoid, OVERLY JEALOUS due to insecurities & jumps to wrong conclusions. If they read one little word spoken in the wrong way -they may make drama out of this -where the spouse may be innocent. IF ONE IS OVERLY JEALOUS like this, it might make it MORE difficult for the other to live & breathe in responding to anything on FB or even having a chat --without accusing suspicion. This would be very very difficult & why it makes some people begin to hide.... a shame really. 

The ideal is for each to not have overly jealous tendencies, and both willingly desiring to NOT KEEP ANYHING from the other, to discuss the days events, even online events with the other when he/she gets home. (me & mine do this every day) And yes, a safe place where all of these passwords -his /hers are stored -if /when we decide to give their page a look . I feel we have that RIGHT always. 

Me & my husband are more open than most. I do not care who he is friends with at all (he always tells me everytime he gets a request) , and he trusts my judgement on who I allow to be my friends on FB, women and men ( I tell him about them too). It helps that neither of us has past boyfriends or girlfriends that meant anything at all , and no affairs. 

I do believe if one of us fell into an affair, this Freedom would be blown to the wind as one of us decided to hold secrets -so major trust was lost . 

Neither of us care to ABUSE these freedoms we have with each other.


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

I think they should. We knew each other's passwords for years with not a single problem. Then the BS started and she decided that she liked male attention more than marital harmony. Now were getting a divorce. 

My wife - a cross between Cathy Lee Gifford (b***h), Katy Perry (likes to show skin and boobs) and Gabby from Desperate Housewives (spoiled and selfish). 

I hope that last paragraph was appropriate for this thread. Sorry.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Yes.

Total transparency.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Never checked or cared about her FB, Yahoo, Hotmail before she dropped on her knees before another man. I check now but I'm losing interest....in all of it.


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## JLynnMann (Apr 6, 2011)

Complete transparency IMO


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## OzzyDevil (Aug 29, 2011)

Mike188 said:


> I think they should. We knew each other's passwords for years with not a single problem. Then the BS started and she decided that she liked male attention more than marital harmony. Now were getting a divorce.
> 
> My wife - a cross between Cathy Lee Gifford (b***h), Katy Perry (likes to show skin and boobs) and Gabby from Desperate Housewives (spoiled and selfish).
> 
> I hope that last paragraph was appropriate for this thread. Sorry.


Yep my wife was the same she always hide stuff like that well but most of it i could find... The was a site she joined and i found out a year later but she loved looking at male cams..She used to drop me of at 7am of work and go home and get right on the chat then while she was on it got the kids ready for school and took them to school and spent from 9am to 3pm to pick them up... Even after she picked them up she would get back on till 4.30 to 5pm till i rang then she had to pick me up... Since we split 7 weeks ago she still goes in there but not all the time... When she has problems she hits the net hard and i hated it...


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## dearhusband (Aug 22, 2011)

I say yes. My wife and I do and always have. Neither of us do a lot of checking up on - sometimes it's a convenience like when I pay her tuition, etc.

I hide that I'm on this site though, which I hate. She's not willing to address problems in our sex life yet and it would only further her belief that i'm obsessed with it that I joined a forum to talk about it. It would also negate any of the improvements in myself I'm making if she saw them as a ploy.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

This is a tough one for me. I don't hide anything and neither does she but at the same time there are times when stupid little things cause problems.

For example. Recently a friend of mine sent me a text asking about who a woman was at the gym. I responded that it was so and so's mother, and that she was attractive.

So of course I get berated for it...


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

Syrum said:


> Yes they should. There shouldn't be secrets in a marriage. I shouldn't be saying anything on facebook or in an email that I don't want my SO to find out about.


:iagree::smthumbup:


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## Sameold (Aug 11, 2011)

I don't have his passwords, and I doubt he has mine--we cycle passwords regularly--and while I could probably figure his current passwords out within twenty guesses, I don't really care. (Well, I have his home computer password--he left it on after reinstalling the operating system yesterday and I had to figure out which he used to turn it off--it's hot.) He might be able to figure mine out, he might not remember the base options. If he wanted to have an online affair, I couldn't stop him--he could do it at work.
He does facebook, texting, I do message boards. He wants to talk to folks with shared history, I want to talk to folks with shared interests, and neither of those groups live anywhere near us.


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## scione (Jul 11, 2011)

CuriousIam said:


> I'm looking to poll everyone and see as many responses as possible as to whether spouses should share with each the names/email addresses as to each of their facebook/email accounts and all of their passwords?
> 
> Would you respond differently if there had been an affair in the past, whether recently or a long time ago?


My wife shares all her passwords with me before, during, and after her affair. She never change her password. I don't think she cares, but she get pissed off if I check her facebook, email, or her phone. I don't get it at all.

She doesn't know any of my password except for my phone, because she always look over what I typed in. However, she won't ask for my password because she wants me to respect her privacy and she tries to do the same.


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## lovejones (Aug 30, 2011)

I am all for transparency, but I think every person married or not deserves some privacy. My husband has my passwords to everything and I honestly do not log out of anything do he could check up all he wants, but I would be a bit pissed if he did. 

I am due to have something that is just for me. I communicate with friends via email and FB about matters that are not necessarily private to me, but to them. And for that reason, he's welcome to know the password if he needs them for an emergency or something, but if I found out he was snooping, I'd change them and revoke his access.


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## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

My computer is open to my wife at any time. I don't log out of most of the sites I'm active in, so she has access to just about everything I do online. I can access hers, also, if I want to, but there's nothing for either of us to hide. We have separate bank accounts and a joint one, share credit cards, etc...


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