# Need some desperate advice...



## icetea (Jan 10, 2009)

Hi everyone,
This is my first visit, and I think this site is awesome. Anyway, I would like some advice desperately:
I have been married for 1 year now, my husband and I only dated for a few months before we got married. The first few months of our marriage went well, but since then we have been fighting constantly. Today my husband told me, that he wants to move out on Monday, I was naturally upset, but told him that it is "ok". Then later he asked me what we need to buy, because our friends were coming over, I then told him that I have cancelled, and my reason, which is the truth, is that I am not in the mood for people. He then retreated to our room, and has been there ever since, listening to cd's and sleeping.
He also told me on New Years Eve, that he does not love me as much as he use to.
I really don't know what to do, we have not been the best of communicators either.
I would appreciate advice from men, you guys know how your minds work, so please help me to talk to him about this issue in a manner that won't let him become defensive.
I really don't know what to do, I am thinking that this might be the best for us, maybe we are just not compatible.
Anyway, thanks for listening to me...


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

How old are the two of you? It sounds like a relatively short courtship...why did you get married in the first place? 

Communication is critical in any relationship. If you have to, force him to sit and talk. Get it all out. 

No raised voices, no anger, just plain simple talk. 

Once that door is opened, it will be easier to do it again, and often.


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## icetea (Jan 10, 2009)

I am 38 he is 42, this is both our second marriages, my first husband passed away, and he was divorced.
It is difficult to talk to him, he gets defensive everytime, it has been like that from the start.
Why did we get married? Well we were in love, and he told me, that he wants to scoop me up, before anyone else does.
For me, I just felt very attracted to him, he is a successful business man, and he appear to be strong, I felt as if he would always protect me.
One of the other reaons were, that being single and older, it is not always easy to find a person with the same values and outlook on life as your own.


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