# Male Perspective Please



## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

Known him for 8 years.
Been the best of friends.
I've had feelings for him.
He seemed to have grown feelings for me.
He initiated marriage talk for the past two months.
Ten days ago, he said I'm his best friend and wants us to stay so. He no longer wants to get married. How do I know that? He said so when I asked him does this mean he doesn't want to get married?
He didn't even say it on his own until I asked him (since the best friend talk he initiated confused me).

What happened ten days ago is completely opposite of his actions for the past at least two months.

Because I've known him for so long, logically, it's hard for me to understand what just happened.
He's always been gentle towards me.
This type of backing out, as if the marriage talk never happened and was never initiated by him, has me baffled.

I also find it hard to believe that he would have no issue playing with my emotions.
We've been there for each other for such a long time.

My current status: I'm not talking to him, but there are text messages. He does want to talk. I'm just not talking.
He tends to ignore the issue at hand and act like things are fine. Clearly, with not understanding what happened, talking like all's fine is not acceptable for me.

My questions:

- If we were to play Devil's Advocate, what are the possible reasons for doing this?

- Any insight, advice, or opinion you could offer?

Thanks for taking the time to help out!


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

How old are each of you?
Have either of you been married before?


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

dormant said:


> How old are each of you?
> Have either of you been married before?


We're both early 30's.
He was divorced 4 years ago.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Believe in the Best said:


> Known him for 8 years.





Believe in the Best said:


> He was divorced 4 years ago.





hmmmmmm


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

You aren't going to become any more enlightened about what he's thinking if you don't talk with him. Giving him the silent treatment right now shows immaturity - he's your best friend for 8 years, so I think you ought to listen to what he has to say about this.

Lots of guys think marriage ruins a good relationship, especially if they've been through a divorce. If you understand his concerns, there may be some ways to work through them together as a team. By shutting him out right now, you are actually proving out his concerns that marriage might not be a good idea. I'm sure he'd hate to be married to someone who shuts him out whenever she's mad.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


> hmmmmmm


He was married for two years.
Been friends since before his marriage.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Believe in the Best said:


> Been the *best of friends.*
> I've had feelings for him.
> He *seemed* to have grown feelings for me.
> He initiated marriage talk for the past two months.
> ...


Go back and read what I've bolded. Accept the fact that *you are in the friend-zone.* Where's the part where you can't keep your hands off each other? Where he kisses you passionately? Where there's been a WILD attraction for years?

None of this passive "I *think* he has feelings for me." Believe me, if he did, you would KNOW!

He has told you that you are his *best friend.* That's it.

Time to move on. You are pining away for a man who doesn't, and never has, loved you "that way."


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

OP, Although I don't always agree with the masses, ther are a lot of people here who will tell you opposite gender friends are not a good idea when either of them are married.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

norajane said:


> You aren't going to become any more enlightened about what he's thinking if you don't talk with him. Giving him the silent treatment right now shows immaturity - he's your best friend for 8 years, so I think you ought to listen to what he has to say about this.
> 
> Lots of guys think marriage ruins a good relationship, especially if they've been through a divorce. If you understand his concerns, there may be some ways to work through them together as a team. By shutting him out right now, you are actually proving out his concerns that marriage might not be a good idea. I'm sure he'd hate to be married to someone who shuts him out whenever she's mad.


I completely agree with you. I did try talking to him. I now realize my initial post wasn't as clear. I didn't understand where the friendship conversation came from. After asking about marriage, then only did I realize he was no longer interested.

After that, I did try talking to him. He seems to avoid the topic at all costs and questions why we can't just be best friends anymore. He also speaks as if he never initiated the marriage topic and diverts the conversation towards making me laugh. After which he tells me, "See, we'll always be best friends - even after I get married, if I get married."

His breaking things off with me, not telling me why, then wanting me in his life on a daily basis, and talking about his marriage...I don't know how to proceed with the conversation when it feels like the more I try to figure out "Why?", the more he talks about he'll always be there for me regardless of who he is with. I know for a fact there is no other person. So, I know he's not cheating on me.

This is where I get baffled. That's when I found text messaging easier. Since, he answers more through text than he does when we talk.

Hope this detail helps. Any advice on how to go about it?


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


> Go back and read what I've bolded. Accept the fact that *you are in the friend-zone.* Where's the part where you can't keep your hands off each other? Where he kisses you passionately? Where there's been a WILD attraction for years?
> 
> None of this passive "I *think* he has feelings for me." Believe me, if he did, you would KNOW!
> 
> ...


The passionate part existed a year ago. Since then we've been long distance. The initiation of marriage talk began while we were long distance. The way our vacations work out, we were going to meet up on Thanksgiving. I haven't seen him during the marriage talk (hence, the marriage talk for two months, versus getting engaged).

Would this still be a part of the friend-zone?


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Believe in the Best said:


> After which he tells me, "See, we'll always be best friends - even after I get married, if I get married."


Maybe he already has someone else lined up???


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

dormant said:


> OP, Although I don't always agree with the masses, ther are a lot of people here who will tell you opposite gender friends are not a good idea when either of them are married.


I can understand that can lead to complications. It's for the same reason that whenever we did talk during his marriage, it was in the presence of his wife. Since we had nothing then, I never wanted her to feel uncomfortable. I even went as far as telling him, if he ever thinks she has an issue with our friendship, his marriage is more important and I would respect him more for making that relation work.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

OP, he might have slipped when he originally accepted.....maybe he said "yes" in the heat of the moment. Who knows.

Regardless, you have to give him credit and be thankful for his honesty no? Would you want him to marry you if he didn't really want to?

Rather than get defensive and think negative stuff, why don't you sit him down and just talk about all of this?

You don't expect him to be perfect do you?

Also, your current actions (or lack of/silent treatment) only tells him "Not only am I thinking twice about marriage now, I'm thinking 3 times!!!"

Prove to him that you are the woman he should marry.





norajane said:


> You aren't going to become any more enlightened about what he's thinking if you don't talk with him. Giving him the silent treatment right now shows immaturity - he's your best friend for 8 years, so I think you ought to listen to what he has to say about this.
> 
> Lots of guys think marriage ruins a good relationship, especially if they've been through a divorce. If you understand his concerns, there may be some ways to work through them together as a team. By shutting him out right now, you are actually proving out his concerns that marriage might not be a good idea. I'm sure he'd hate to be married to someone who shuts him out whenever she's mad.


Agreed 100%


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Believe in the Best said:


> I completely agree with you. I did try talking to him. I now realize my initial post wasn't as clear. I didn't understand where the friendship conversation came from. After asking about marriage, then only did I realize he was no longer interested.
> 
> After that, I did try talking to him. He seems to avoid the topic at all costs and questions why we can't just be best friends anymore. He also speaks as if he never initiated the marriage topic and diverts the conversation towards making me laugh. After which he tells me, "See, we'll always be best friends - even after I get married, if I get married."
> 
> ...


It would seem he wasn't serious about marriage. It was a fleeting thought that he's reconsidered. 

I'd say the same thing in this case. If he won't discuss it like an adult, then he's being immature and showing that he isn't marriage-worthy. You may not get the answer to WHY he feels this way, but you know for sure he isn't marriage material if this is how he handles conflict.

Do you WANT to stay friends with him if a romantic relationship is off the table? If not, then it doesn't matter what he's thinking about marriage and friendship. 

If you do want to stay friends, then you have to tell him clearly that you can't be best friends without coming to an understanding on this topic. As your friend, he needs to be able to explain it to you or it will remain as a wall between you getting in the way of the friendship.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

dormant said:


> Maybe he already has someone else lined up???


As much as that possibility would hurt, I did try considering that. I mean we are long distant, so I have no sure way of knowing. I thought back to our conversations for the past two months. He was the way he'd always been. No distance. No overly nice to cover up any guilt. Sometimes, he drinks more than would seem good for him. He even cutback on that and started working out. Both things he knows would make me really happy. We started looking for homes together. I would find one online, and he would go see it with one of his guy friends I know. While there, he would show me the home on video chat (from his phone).

All of this has been consistent. And, we talked daily. It literally happened overnight where the next day he started talking about us always being best friends.

I mentioned all the detail because maybe I'm clearly missing something but it's right in front of my face. Leaving it up to you to interpret. What do you think?


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

What ever is going through his mind, it has to be resolved before you even think of getting married. If not, it will only get worse!


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

Believe in the Best, I'm thinking you should want to marry a man who's wildly crazy about you. Not merely a friend.

Maybe your friend, since he's been through a divorce, can't be wildly crazy about anybody.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Believe in the Best said:


> As much as that possibility would hurt, I did try considering that. I mean we are long distant, so I have no sure way of knowing. I thought back to our conversations for the past two months. He was the way he'd always been. No distance. No overly nice to cover up any guilt. Sometimes, he drinks more than would seem good for him. He even cutback on that and started working out. Both things he knows would make me really happy. We started looking for homes together. I would find one online, and he would go see it with one of his guy friends I know. While there, he would show me the home on video chat (from his phone).
> 
> *All of this has been consistent. And, we talked daily. It literally happened overnight where the next day he started talking about us always being best friends.*
> 
> I mentioned all the detail because maybe I'm clearly missing something but it's right in front of my face. Leaving it up to you to interpret. What do you think?


It could have been that "overnight" is when he had met someone else whom he really enjoyed in a passionate way, and that's when he realized best friends is not enough for a marriage.

Have you asked him directly if he has met someone else?


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

DoF said:


> OP, he might have slipped when he originally accepted.....maybe he said "yes" in the heat of the moment. Who knows.
> 
> Regardless, you have to give him credit and be thankful for his honesty no? Would you want him to marry you if he didn't really want to?
> 
> ...


I kind of messed up on including enough detail on my original post. I mentioned the other things in the reply to the same post you quoted here:



Believe in the Best said:


> I completely agree with you. I did try talking to him. I now realize my initial post wasn't as clear. I didn't understand where the friendship conversation came from. After asking about marriage, then only did I realize he was no longer interested.
> 
> After that, I did try talking to him. He seems to avoid the topic at all costs and questions why we can't just be best friends anymore. He also speaks as if he never initiated the marriage topic and diverts the conversation towards making me laugh. After which he tells me, "See, we'll always be best friends - even after I get married, if I get married."
> 
> ...


I agree with you. Honesty is always appreciated.

The reason I didn't think he didn't say yes in the heat of the moment is because I didn't bring up the conversation and because of the following below:




Believe in the Best said:


> As much as that possibility would hurt, I did try considering that. I mean we are long distant, so I have no sure way of knowing. I thought back to our conversations for the past two months. He was the way he'd always been. No distance. No overly nice to cover up any guilt. Sometimes, he drinks more than would seem good for him. He even cutback on that and started working out. Both things he knows would make me really happy. We started looking for homes together. I would find one online, and he would go see it with one of his guy friends I know. While there, he would show me the home on video chat (from his phone).
> 
> All of this has been consistent. And, we talked daily. It literally happened overnight where the next day he started talking about us always being best friends.
> 
> I mentioned all the detail because maybe I'm clearly missing something but it's right in front of my face. Leaving it up to you to interpret. What do you think?


I also agree, I wouldn't want him marrying me if he really didnt' want to.

I've known him too long to not try to understand his point of view. I told him that for someone who is always very concerned about my happiness, this is something I'm really not able to understand. Why would you bring up marriage on your own? Why, when I asked you are you sure or is it just an idea you're toying with, would you not only say you are sure but that you are committed to me and what you have said and then behave as if nothing happened? These are the times when he starts finding something to break my thought process so we could share a laugh. My view on this trying to crack a joke at a serious time has been maybe he needs a reminder that I still care about him and it's not all about ridiculing him. He also happens to be good at getting me to laugh. So, we laugh, share a nice moment. And, then I get back to what I asked him. Then, he starts talking about how we're friends and he'll always be there for me. I'm so confused.

I don't expect perfection from anyone. I expect dedication towards each other. So, in regards to dedication, yes, I do expect perfection. I told him, my affection for him means accepting him, the good, the bad, everything. Even this. It would just be nice to understand this part because, for the first time, this part (the whole two months of it) seems like I was living something fake. I was being mislead. Yet, I haven't associated those characteristics with him before so it's easier for me to accept that I'm missing something than to accept that he would intentionally mislead me.

And, the "Prove to him that you are the woman he should marry."...with all that I've mentioned above, how do you suggest?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Let me stop you for a second. Can you please confirm these.

You have a long distance relationship?

You are thinking about purchasing a house together without being married?

Please PLEASE tell me the answer to both of these question is NO.

Also, how long have you 2 been in a relationship TOGETHER. As in, IN PERSON.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

norajane said:


> It would seem he wasn't serious about marriage. It was a fleeting thought that he's reconsidered.
> 
> I'd say the same thing in this case. If he won't discuss it like an adult, then he's being immature and showing that he isn't marriage-worthy. You may not get the answer to WHY he feels this way, but you know for sure he isn't marriage material if this is how he handles conflict.
> 
> ...


At this point, I don't feel I'd be able to trust his word anymore if I stayed friends with him since he doesn't seem to be in the place to discuss what happened.

I thought we had something good. Part of me wants to attempt to see his point of view, and if there is something I could do to help ease any long-term commitment anxiety, then be there for him. The other part of me is just waiting for things to sort out in his head and wants to wake up to a message saying, I freaked out because of such and such reason, I'm sorry. Can we start again?

If he was a blind date I'd known for two months, it could be anything. If I didn't believe in him in the first place, I would've never agreed to marriage. I'm just sitting here trying to analyze everything to find the missing link.

And, thank you so much for your replies. It really means a lot.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

dormant said:


> What ever is going through his mind, it has to be resolved before you even think of getting married. If not, it will only get worse!


Completely agree!


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I guess I missed the part where you were even dating.....

I mean in your first post you talk about being his best friend for 8 years, that YOU had feelings for him, you THOUGHT he had feelings for you...I mean...that's something you would know. Definitely not something you guess on. He was married for 2 years of your "friendship" and divorced 4 years ago. 

How long have you two been dating...exactly?

It sounds to me that he no longer wishes to be married. You're giving him the silent treatment so you can't find out why. Just ask him what happened. 

If you can still be friends with him knowing this, then it doesn't really matter. 

If you can't be friends with him knowing this, then tell him.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

norajane said:


> It could have been that "overnight" is when he had met someone else whom he really enjoyed in a passionate way, and that's when he realized best friends is not enough for a marriage.
> 
> Have you asked him directly if he has met someone else?


He happened to be on night shift then. But, we talked during and after it so that option didn't occur to me.

And, no, I haven't asked him directly. I didn't think he did so asking him directly felt disrespectful to ask. And, I thought it would be bringing up trust issues (since the basis for our long distance relationship is our trust) when I felt like something else is going on in his mind.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

DoF said:


> Let me stop you for a second. Can you please confirm these.
> 
> You have a long distance relationship?
> 
> ...



Yes, we are long distance for the past year.

He wanted me to get married AFTER having a house to live in together. He believes in being the provider (so my income goes towards vacations, decorating the house, etc.) He was going to purchase the house and have it on both of our names. We were going to get married after that.

In person, we were in a relationship for two years. It's been a year long distance after that.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Why are you long distance? Why would he (or you) up and leave when things were good between you? When and under what circumstances would you be moving into a house together if you're long distance?

We aren't going to be able to tell you why he suddenly changed his mind about marriage. Most often, there's an incident that causes that, like meeting someone else. It could also be cold feet because of his divorce, and after the marriage discussion became "real" he realized he couldn't go through with it. It could be he decided he didn't want to move back.

Is he unreliable in other ways?


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

staarz21 said:


> I guess I missed the part where you were even dating.....
> 
> I mean in your first post you talk about being his best friend for 8 years, that YOU had feelings for him, you THOUGHT he had feelings for you...I mean...that's something you would know. Definitely not something you guess on. He was married for 2 years of your "friendship" and divorced 4 years ago.
> 
> ...


Sorry about that. You didn't miss out on how long we'd been dating. My mind's kind of all over the place. We were dating for two years. And, for the last year we've been long distance. So, three years total.

Only started the silent treatment after he would not discuss why he backed out of marriage and would instead keep finding reasons to get me to laugh. He would still manage to get me to laugh despite the seriousness of the situation, but he kept using that as an example why we're such good friends. Even went as far as saying why can't we just be the way we are for the rest of our lives? (best friends but not married) I asked him, so you're fine with not having me in your life permanently? He said, "No, we'll always be in each other's lives. Life is incomplete without you."

And, honestly, life feels incomplete without him too. I just don't get how we both can say the same things but now he no longer wants marriage. Even bigger, how do I trust anything he says if he can continue something for two months, act like it never happened, and not only back out of marriage, want to "reset" time so that we're back to being just friends - the way it was three years ago!


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

norajane said:


> Why are you long distance? Why would he (or you) up and leave when things were good between you? When and under what circumstances would you be moving into a house together if you're long distance?
> 
> We aren't going to be able to tell you why he suddenly changed his mind about marriage. Most often, there's an incident that causes that, like meeting someone else. It could also be cold feet because of his divorce, and after the marriage discussion became "real" he realized he couldn't go through with it. It could be he decided he didn't want to move back.
> 
> Is he unreliable in other ways?


I always emotionally support him in his professional dreams. We applied everywhere, he happened to get in to the program away from me. And, it's top-notch so didn't want him to sacrifice that. I knew how much it meant to him.

Since he's renting now. He wanted to finalize the house we selected. After the deal goes through, we were planning on getting married by December and moving in after that.

I understand not being able to tell me an exact reason. I'm suppose to know him decently and I have no idea. Just so confused. Thought asking would help me reach a eureka moment.

Thus far, he's been reliable in being there for me. But, he does have a tendency to be easily persuaded by the next thought that comes in his mind. That's why my first response to his asking me to marry him was, are you sure? I didn't believe him for the first month. He actually took the month to convince me. And, each subsequent conversation was building upon the previous. It appeared as if he was certain. He even went further and told me he knows I'm perfect. And, he can't imaging marrying anyone but me.

Where we are now seems to be the opposite of where we seem to be headed


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## thenotemakers (Sep 25, 2014)

@ Believe in the Best: I’m so sorry to hear about the confusion you’re facing in your relationship. It's tough to know what may be going on in his mind and heart, so have you had a chance to discuss your questions with him directly? I wonder if a chat over a cup of coffee might help your doubts and confusion. I remember reading some helpful stuff on a website called Boundless (it's designed for singles). You might want to check that site out! “Hugs”

TheNoteMakers


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

I am sure you are feeling yo-yo'd all over the place.

It seems to me that marriage, in his mind, was the natural course to take after being friends and being in a 3 year "dating" relationship. He probably began considering it and mulling it over, and including you in the process.

I wonder if he was trying on the idea to see how it fits and feels...coming to the conclusion that he didn't see it past logic alone and maybe felt marriage was not where he wanted to take this relationship.

And once he saw that he wasn't willing to take it that far, he probably saw that the relationship ought to be re-categorized as friendship...giving you both the freedom to pursue romantic interests elsewhere. 

He is not looking at you in terms of romantic interest anymore, yet doesn't want to end the friendship that you provide either. Whatever his motive, his repeating his hope that you can remain best friends, sounds like he is, in a non-confrontational way, is trying to overwrite your "dating" status to just friends or best friends...and he is hoping that the marriage considerations could be let alone, so as not to spoil the friendship with awkwardness.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

thenotemakers said:


> @ Believe in the Best: I’m so sorry to hear about the confusion you’re facing in your relationship. It's tough to know what may be going on in his mind and heart, so have you had a chance to discuss your questions with him directly? I wonder if a chat over a cup of coffee might help your doubts and confusion. I remember reading some helpful stuff on a website called Boundless (it's designed for singles). You might want to check that site out! “Hugs”
> 
> TheNoteMakers


Since direct questions appeared to be too high stress for him (since high stress tends to make him crack jokes to reconnect), I opted for text messaging him. Directly asking just gave me various versions of let's stay best friends.

He has yet to acknowledge my text message regarding the state we're in. Yet, he has replied to all other small talk messages we've exchanged. Waiting for now. The actual message doesn't contain many questions. It's just stating my confusion between believing his affection for me vs. believing his current stance about our relation. Hoping his acknowledging it would give me my chance to ask his side of the story.

I haven't heard of the website. Thanks for recommending it. I'll checkout its advice too.

And thanks! "Hugs" to you too!


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

FormerSelf said:


> I am sure you are feeling yo-yo'd all over the place.
> 
> It seems to me that marriage, in his mind, was the natural course to take after being friends and being in a 3 year "dating" relationship. He probably began considering it and mulling it over, and including you in the process.
> 
> ...


You're right. I do feel yo-yo'd. Your whole message seems like a pretty accurate summary of the possible cause. You know what doesn't fit? That he's been trying to send flirty text messages on and off. Including as recent as yesterday.

If I go with what you said, it seems like his flirting is just an excuse to connect with me, even if that means acting like nothing happened. Probably, only to reiterate that we're just friends and he flirted with me out of habit.

If I think enough, maybe the flirting still doesn't change the accuracy of your summary. Hmm....

What do you think?


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Believe in the Best said:


> You know what doesn't fit? That he's been trying to send flirty text messages on and off.


Huh. Maybe he is pursuing "friends with benefits" status? This is certainly a curveball.

I know you are long-time familiars, but to me, this behavior is showing a complete lack of empathy.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Sounds like sheer panic to me.
Im assuming he got hurt badly in his last marriage and this one possible marriage is triggering his rabbit reflex.

The only solution is to talk with him.
He may be second guessing his ability to be a good husband, considering life without marriage and fearful of ruining what he has.

You wont know until you talk.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

FormerSelf said:


> Huh. Maybe he is pursuing "friends with benefits" status? This is certainly a curveball.
> 
> I know you are long-time familiars, but to me, this behavior is showing a complete lack of empathy.


:scratchhead: Oh my! Considering our familiarity, that just seems like such a disrespectful option to be treated as such. 

You are right. It does completely lack empathy. Another way to put it is it seems quite focused on self (his self, that is). He wants my presence in his life according to what feels suitable to him without consideration of the effect on me.

Makes me think. It's the same person who has always been gentle with me and made it a point to be there when support would've made things easier to face. And, now contrasting this. Looks like it's beyond my ability to understand such a contrast 

Thank you for your insight. Has given me some food for thought.


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## Believe in the Best (Sep 30, 2014)

SamuraiJack said:


> Sounds like sheer panic to me.
> Im assuming he got hurt badly in his last marriage and this one possible marriage is triggering his rabbit reflex.
> 
> The only solution is to talk with him.
> ...


The way you put it, it makes sense. Despite what he means to me, at one point, even I felt panicked at the thought of leaving my hometown to with with him after marriage. It's a big decision.

Do words help convince a man on his ability to be a good husband?

He has mentioned his desire to improve himself for me. Because I matter to him. (That meant cutting back on his drinking and starting to workout). For even his desire to improve himself, I have told him, I care about him and support him in all that he does. Even during the process of self improvement, I still care about him as much and that's what being together is about. Being there even during the process when things are maybe in less desirable places. And, during the process of cutting down the drinking and his working out every other day, I've also been all praises. I've genuinely felt very blessed. And, I didn't want to leave any opportunity to let him know that.

It's because of examples like this, I asked about words. Or is there another method you suggest?

After his divorce and before we started dating, he has mentioned that because of our friendship, no matter what happens in life, at least we'll have each other. That does seem to portray a desire of not ruining what we have. Even though that was before we dated. What do you suggest would help a man feeling this feel more at ease?

He said he'll read the text messages I sent him. After that, I'll ask him his side. Telling him my side first because during the times when he doesn't open up (like now) he seems to open up more after he sees how I'm affected. It's unfortunate that I have to start off with text messages since talking to each other seems to result in his finding ways to make me laugh (successfully) or keep repeating his stance (that we will always stay the best of friends). Neither helps me understand our state any better.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. By now, I do realize it's gotten a bit lengthy.


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