# He wants me on top more, it's not my favorite position



## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I really like missionary position. It's my favorite. I know it's considered the "vanilla" of sexual positions, but I LOVE it. I always have the best Os in that position and it makes me feel warm and safe.

My husband mentioned to me last night after we had sex that he wants me on top more often. I really do not like being on top. It's harder for me to get turned on, I'm cold, the bed sqeaks more and it annoys me. I just can't relax when I'm on top. 

I'm not body conscious. I'm fine with how I look and I know my husband wants me on top so he can look at my body more and feel more of it, but I just don't like it as much.

How do you suggest I go about this? I want to give him what he wants, so does anyone have any suggestions at all for me?


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Atholk said:


> Start on top, give him some time with what he wants. Get off, lie on your back and say "get on top of me".


Yeah, I thought of that too. He's not buying it. LOL!


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Have you really tried lots of other positions? Personally I love standing up edge of the bed, my wife is on her back facing me, enough to the edge so we can make it work. I can touch her easily in lots of fun places, and I get a great view -   - and she is comfortable also. And if she wants to use an accelerant at any point she can simply reach up and play with my chest....

That is my favorite position. 




themrs said:


> I really like missionary position. It's my favorite. I know it's considered the "vanilla" of sexual positions, but I LOVE it. I always have the best Os in that position and it makes me feel warm and safe.
> 
> My husband mentioned to me last night after we had sex that he wants me on top more often. I really do not like being on top. It's harder for me to get turned on, I'm cold, the bed sqeaks more and it annoys me. I just can't relax when I'm on top.
> 
> ...


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## American Arrogance (Sep 5, 2008)

May I suggest the liberator ramp.... or the wedge. He can lay on it and have his body angled upwards while you are on top....I bet you'll have great O's on that too! lol


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Thanks everyone for the great advice! I'm willing to try anything. I'm going to look into the different positions and the wedge.


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## chuckf75 (Sep 6, 2009)

The advise given is sound, just switch around a lot, giving both of you what you need. Life is give and take!


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## mae (Aug 17, 2009)

Turn a heater on and have sex on the floor? Along with what everyone else said 

Personally me on top is my favorite but everyone is different.


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## mae (Aug 17, 2009)

Also being on top with him sitting on a chair is awesome, don't know if you've ever tried that. Couches work as well


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

We talked about it and in doing so I realized that I don't like being on top as much because I have doubts about my ability as a lover. He is really really good and I just don't feel as knowledgable in pleasing him as he does me. I've asked him before to instruct me but he doesn't so I felt inadequate. 

He laughed at me and said I was being ridiculous, but I am serious. So we worked it out and I gave him a ride last night.


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## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

mae said:


> Turn a heater on and have sex on the floor? Along with what everyone else said
> 
> Personally me on top is my favorite but everyone is different.


:iagree::rofl:



Also I'd like to add if you were doing most of the moving, you wouldn't be cold...I would think..


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## hoping (Sep 28, 2009)

sorry, i am late to this conversation but it sounds like you are mistaken about that. you are obviously good at it, or he wouldn't be asking.... think about it, if he is insisting on having that, then you must be prety damned good at it


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

QuitaBee said:


> :iagree::rofl:
> 
> 
> 
> Also I'd like to add if you were doing most of the moving, you wouldn't be cold...I would think..


No, I am still cold. When my back is exposed, I get really cold. I rode him last night and I was chilly.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

hoping said:


> sorry, i am late to this conversation but it sounds like you are mistaken about that. you are obviously good at it, or he wouldn't be asking.... think about it, if he is insisting on having that, then you must be prety damned good at it


You're right. It's my own insecurities that I didn't even realize I had until I started thinking about it.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

Are you sure that you not liking being on top is down to your 'own insecurities' maybe you just genuinely don't like it? I think it's easy to toss around psychological answers for every question maybe it's just a matter of personal preference..

I actually think being on top is extremely overated... It gets promoted I think because it's seen as somehow empowering and feminist and what not... To be honest I've always found it to be awkard I get less sensation and I refuse to let the bloke just lie there...


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Confidence will probably change your thinking.. I know my wife has had doubts about her lover style since she was with me since 16. At 35 I am now getting her to open up and go with how she feels no matter what it looks like. An example is if I am doing oral on her I want her to help make it better. Sure enough when she takes control of her own orgasam it rocks her world. He should help you feel comfortable during the sex not afterwards or before. Like positive reinforcement.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

sarah.rslp said:


> Are you sure that you not liking being on top is down to your 'own insecurities' maybe you just genuinely don't like it? I think it's easy to toss around psychological answers for every question maybe it's just a matter of personal preference..
> 
> I actually think being on top is extremely overated... It gets promoted I think because it's seen as somehow empowering and feminist and what not... To be honest I've always found it to be awkard I get less sensation and I refuse to let the bloke just lie there...


That's true. I don't think I'll ever enjoy it as much as other positions.


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## American Arrogance (Sep 5, 2008)

Its good you tried it out.

There are so many variations to being on top...I know the get cold feeling cuz I get that. I will be quick to grab a blanket but it will get hot quick and we have to turn the fan on.

But when you are on top he doesnt just have to lie there. I tend to like him to pulse up and sort of take control. 

Also you can do the cow girl thing, you know face towards his feet. 

Watch some porn to get some ideas of how many variations of positions you can do on top and then try them out and you should be able to figure out which one feels good to you.

Also he can stimulate your clit while you are on top, or you can get a small vibrator, or he can wear a **** ring.


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## Mrsgomez (Oct 24, 2009)

when i first started dating my husband he asked me to get on top and in no way was i into that i had no clue what i was doing to me it was work and very hard work at that I just couldn't get the rhythm of it but with a lot of hated practice i finally got the hang of it and can do it pretty well forward and backwards he especially likes backwards i still prefer him being on top but i do not feel like an idiot any more ..... just give it time and the practice should strengthen your bond as a couple. coming out of your comfort zone is hard but rewarding.


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Who says you have to be naked? Climb on top of him, put on the shirt from his pajamas, and leave it unbuttoned.


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

artieb said:


> Who says you have to be naked? Climb on top of him, put on the shirt from his pajamas, and leave it unbuttoned.


Very true! you can keep your underwear on and just pull it aside then slide down onto him, I think that doing it like this also has a urgency feel about it, like you want him so bad that you do not have time to pull your knickers off to have him, so you just pull them to one side!


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## Sven (Nov 18, 2009)

I like a variety and it took years to get "wife on top" to work for me. But it was worth it! No wonder he wants to do.

You really should give him that once in a while.


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