# Multi-tasking Wives



## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

If a Wife is multi-tasking during the day and continuously doing so does this carry on into her relations with her husband/sex life? In other words is it genuinely difficult for a W to give her undivided attention to her husband in general conversation, so she misses lots of what is actually being said? 
Furthermore in bedroom relations is her mind anywhere but on sex resulting in a huge portion of the pleasure that should ensue for her being lost? And do you think that the simple belief in the past that women (or in this case a wives) were incapable of enjoying sex stems from the same well?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Women enjoy good sex, where did you get the idea that they don't? If your wife is not enjoying sex then find out why.
Are you a good lover?

As for the multi tasking stuff, it is hard to understand what you are really trying to say.


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## torani (May 6, 2013)

lonesomegra said:


> If a Wife is multi-tasking during the day and continuously doing so does this carry on into her relations with her husband/sex life? In other words is it genuinely difficult for a W to give her undivided attention to her husband in general conversation, so she misses lots of what is actually being said?
> Furthermore in bedroom relations is her mind anywhere but on sex resulting in a huge portion of the pleasure that should ensue for her being lost? And do you think that the simple belief in the past that women (or in this case a wives) were incapable of enjoying sex stems from the same well?


Just from my own personal experience, yes my multi tasking ways CAN, but not always carry on into my relations with my partner. I have noticed this during times we try to have a conversation. I need to just be present while he is talking to me so I don't miss anything.. We also have small children so its rare for us to finish a conversation with out ANY type of interruption from the kids.. lol..

As for the sex though, nope... I enjoy being intimate with my partner and I am fully present for that... Who wants to multi task during that? 

Maybe some women aren't fully present for love making but I am...


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

From my perspective the multitasking my wife does definitely contributes to less frequent sex. I will bring up the subject and she will rattle off a list of things currently occupying her mind, basically saying, 'I don't have time to think about that now'. But when she's in, she's all in. It's just getting to that point that's difficult at times.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Interesting.... I think the multi-task is a blessing and a curse. 

Just last night my wife and I were talking... about our days we both just got back from respective events. She went first and I gave her my undivided attention let her describe everything will full attention and comments back. I went second and she listened but then proceeded to multi-task and did not let me finish my "story" becuse after she leaves the room to "multi-task" I am done just another annoyance.

Women say they want communication really what they mostly want is for you to* listen about them*. 

I think again this shows the difference in women and men.

Women say they want communication... last time I checked communication and sex were two way and equal.

Now I could have called her out on this and have done so in the past but right now I'm in wait and see mode.

They don't do what they say they want... at least most women. Obviously some get it an in spite of their tendencies find a way to make it work.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Multi tasking - yes. But I have to admit at least one of the task will not have my undivided attention. 

But during sex all the focus is on "Oh dayum this is the 99,999th time we did this how can it still feels so good?!?"


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Multi tasking = everything getting done half a$$ed .


JMHO


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

committed4ever said:


> Multi tasking - yes. But I have to admit at least one of the task will not have my undivided attention.
> 
> But during sex all the focus is on "Oh dayum this is the 99,999th time we did this how can it still feels so good?!?"


Lets not overstate.

99999/365= 273 / years of sexual experience with current partner = ?

Care to re-calculate.

Another thing ,most women overstate the # times they actually have/enjoy sex.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> Multi tasking = everything getting done half a$$ed .
> 
> 
> JMHO


Pretty much. But I can't imagine multi tasking during sex. I sure can't focus on anything else at that time and don't want to.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Trying2figureitout said:


> Lets not overstate.
> 
> 99999/365= 273 / years of sexual experience with current partner = ?
> 
> ...


 I don't know whether you joking or can't take a joke on the calculation thing. Just sound like you hating on your last statement.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Trying2figureitout said:


> Lets not overstate.
> 
> 99999/365= 273 / years of sexual experience with current partner = ?
> 
> ...


Where do you get this stuff from? Do you know most women? How many women have you *personally *talked to about their sex lives? 

I enjoy sex daily, yay me. Dare you to say that is a lie.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> Multi tasking = everything getting done half a$$ed .
> 
> 
> JMHO


Totally agree!!

I gave up multitasking years ago.

Was once taught it was a good thing but now I know differently.

I prefer to do one thing at a time staying in the moment whether its doing the dishes, reading to my kids or having sex with my husband.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> Totally agree!!
> 
> I gave up multitasking years ago.
> 
> ...


You probably could pull off 1 and 3 at the same time though. Just sayin'...


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Multi tasking can be a curse.
Thank goodness my wife doesn't do it, I am always around t help her.
But I know lots of men who complain about the identical thing.
Dating and sex becomes boring because she's constantly thinking about something else that needs to be done.

But sometimes a husband can help change that dynamic.
Effective communication and help a lot more with running of the household.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Holland said:


> Where do you get this stuff from? Do you know most women? How many women have you *personally *talked to about their sex lives?
> 
> I enjoy sex daily, yay me. Dare you to say that is a lie.


You have sex every single day? That is EVERY day...wow. Doubt it.

Again=overstatement 

That would be amazing multitasking.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I have sex every day sometimes twice a day.

Why is that so hard to believe?


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I have sex every day sometimes twice a day.
> 
> Why is that so hard to believe?


Because of the "every day" that would me no sexless days ever...doubt it.

Besides this is a forum people often overstate things to feel better about themselves.
Human nature.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Trying2figureitout said:


> Because of the "every"


Gotcha.

This is new for us so I have no idea how long it will last.

Since April we've only missed 2 days.

I've been upfront about my LD husband (he's on T now) so no reason to overstate.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> Gotcha.
> 
> This is new for us so I have no idea how long it will last.
> 
> Since April we've only missed 2 days.


See that's better... honesty is the best policy.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, OP, there are women who think of other things during sex. Presumably they aren't very interested in what's going on. Maybe they have low drive -- or maybe no drive. But they are certainly not in the moment.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

Holland you asked if I am a good lover. To the best of my knowledge neither of us had full sex with anyone else prior to meeting and getting married. Therefore I am her best lover and her worst lover! 

There is nothing to compare my loving to. What qualifys a man as a good lover? Basically are you saying that if a man is a poor lover this adds to a woman's lack of attention and pleasure?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Well I enjoy multi-tasking many things during the day...

As an example... once upon a time...a typical day....clothes in the washer...food in the oven..standing there chopping up veggies for a salad...with my speakerphone on talking to a friend - with a baby in the stroller beside me with a propped bottle..another kid in the room watching Tv with some snacks.. being entertained. 

But *SEX*... NEVER... I'm all there and if I got a hint he was elsewhere I would be ticked- just as he would be hurt... The world gets shut out once the foreplay starts... There isn't any place I'd rather be in this world to compare.. just me & him swimming in passion. 

But during the day when he is at work.. lots of multi-tasking going on... I am very capable of doing a few things at one time...this saves me a ton of time... I use timers...and I hustle, this is what allows me to spend so much time goofing off on this forum even.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

lonesomegra said:


> Holland you asked if I am a good lover. To the best of my knowledge neither of us had full sex with anyone else prior to meeting and getting married. Therefore I am her best lover and her worst lover!
> 
> There is nothing to compare my loving to. What qualifys a man as a good lover? Basically are you saying that if a man is a poor lover this adds to a woman's lack of attention and pleasure?


I'm not even going to tackle the question of what make a good lover. My husband is the only man I've ever been with and to me he's an EXCELLENT lover. But what do I know? I have nothing to compare it to hopefully never. But he had a lot of experience with other partners before me so I'm sure that makes a difference. But I'm certainly not saying this being your first lover will make you a not so good lover. If you are pleasing her then you you're a good lover!

A poor lover will definitely make a woman lack pleasure. She might or might not lack attention but definite lack pleasure, unless you are able to give her an O. But just getting an O means nothing if the loving ain't good!

ETA: My last paragraph doesn't make sense and I'm too sleepy to fix it.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Trying2figureitout said:


> You have sex every single day? That is EVERY day...wow. Doubt it.
> 
> Again=overstatement
> 
> That would be amazing multitasking.


You can doubt all you want it really is irrelevant to my life experience.

No it is not an overstatement. Some days twice.
The detail may be in the definition, some days it is oral for one/both, other days PIV twice, or maybe mutual masturbation. 
I am peri and only get my period every 3 or so months and even then there is sexual activity.

Not sure what it has to do with multi tasking? I can be doing the washing one minute and Mr Sex God comes up behind me and whispers in my ear or kisses my neck and bam all thoughts of washing have gone.

It is interesting because when people post about their sexless marriages (and I was in one in a past life) people believe that, yet when people state they enjoy frequent, daily sex some people struggle to comprehend.

That is your experience clouding your thoughts. It might pay to examine your own life closer instead of questioning others.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mavash. said:


> Gotcha.
> 
> This is new for us so I have no idea how long it will last.
> 
> ...


I certainly believe you- with the getting Test treatment -this can do wonders - so I have read. 

Heck at one time I WANTED the Doc to tell us my husband NEEDED it... as I wanted it 3 darn times a day and well that was NOT do-able for him at age 45.. but I was sure wanting it to be... and I thought that was My Ticket to heaven... 

I guess I am happy he didn't need it... but really back then..I was SO antsy...had to learn to calm my jets.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

lonesomgra said: _"Basically are you saying that if a man is a poor lover this adds to a woman's lack of attention and pleasure?"_

Doesn't that question have an obvious answer of "yes"?

How could the answer be "no"?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

lonesomegra said:


> Holland you asked if I am a good lover. To the best of my knowledge neither of us had full sex with anyone else prior to meeting and getting married. Therefore I am her best lover and her worst lover!
> 
> There is nothing to compare my loving to. What qualifys a man as a good lover? Basically are you saying that if a man is a poor lover this adds to a woman's lack of attention and pleasure?


I am saying it is certainly a possibility. If she is not enjoying the experience then I can see that her mind would wander. How much open, honest conversation have you had about the subject with your wife?

IMHO what qualifies a man as a good lover is one that is passionate about the experience. He is adventurous yet respectful, he can talk about sex, he has a sense of humor and is willing to try things and laugh if they don't work.
A man that makes a woman feel safe and valued in and out of the bedroom.

Talk to your wife. I wish you well.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

I never know where my wife's mind is during sex but I suspect she starts with great intentions but is lacking in fittness, so I am not sure what starts first her tiredness or her loss of attention. She just gets a faraway look in her eyes and frequently yawns in my ear.

According to the doctor she has no ailments but I suspect she would tell lies to the doctor just to get the appointment out of the way. The only thing she does complain about is 'feeling down' - a mild depression as she puts it, but it feels bigger than mild to me.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Multi tasking is a MYTH.

Unless one of the activities is talking women are no more capable than men of so called “multi tasking”

My wife will say that she is “multi tasks”;
The Laundry, The dishes & Cooking the dinner.
When I point out that the laundry is in the washing machine, the plates etc are in the dishwasher and the beef stew is in the slow cooker whilst she is actually sitting down having a well deserved cup of coffee that seems to make me some sort of “male chauvinist pig”.

I could kid myself that I “multi task”;
Filling the water butt, mixing the mortar & laying the bricks. I know however that I am actually just laying bricks and taking breaks from that to turn on / off the tap, load / unload the cement mixer.
BTW whilst doing this I am still able to drink Tea and Eat biscuits but it is still not “Multi Tasking” 

As for people of either gender who let their thoughts wonder during sex, either they or their partner is not doing it right.


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## keepsmiling (Nov 20, 2012)

At work, I am an amazing multi tasker. As soon as I'm home, my 'to do' list has 3 things max and that's all I'll do. Sex happens at home


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Wiltshireman said:


> Multi tasking is a MYTH.
> 
> Unless one of the activities is talking women are no more capable than men of so called “multi tasking”
> 
> ...


Its not a myth...

Many women are 'better' *mental* multi-taskers than men . Just think about it. 

Men typically focus on one or two things, a typical woman many more than that.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Trying2figureitout said:


> Its not a myth...
> 
> Many women are 'better' *mental* multi-taskers than men . Just think about it.
> 
> Men typically focus on one or two things, a typical woman many more than that.


The Truth would not seem to agree with you.

"Psychiatrist Edward M. Hallowell has gone so far as to describe multitasking as a “mythical activity in which people believe they can perform two or more tasks simultaneously as effectively as one.”


If you think about it sensibly you will have to agree. 

For example why do you think that there is such a fuss about people using mobile phones / texting whilst they drive? 

It’s simple people (either gender) when attempting to do two or more things at once will do none of them as well as they would if they did them in sequence.

Good time management can look like “multi tasking” people use the gapes in one task to complete another (empty the dishwasher whilst waiting for the kettle to boil) but it is just an “appearance of multi tasking”, “illusion” rather than reality.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

What is Multitasking?



> * Multitasking is the act of doing multiple things at once. It is often encouraged among office workers and students, because it is believed that multitasking is more efficient than focusing on a single task at once.* Numerous studies on multitasking have been carried out, with mixed results. It would appear that in some cases, multitasking is indeed an effective way to utilize time, while in other instances, the quality of the work suffers as a result of split attention.
> 
> The term initially emerged in the tech industry, to describe a computer's single central processing unit performing multiple tasks. Early computers were capable of performing only one function at once, although sometimes very quickly. Later computers were able to run a wide assortment of programs; in fact, your computer is multitasking right now as it runs your web browser and any other programs you might have open, along with the basic programs which start every time you log on to your operating system.
> 
> ...


Mutitasking can be considered to have a # of webpages open & going back & forth... reading here, Facebook chat open...a timer set for something on Ebay... while a spyware software is running in the background... Sounds like a typical internet day to me. 

When friends call me, I rarely plop on the couch -I am doing something while they talk..speakerphone a Life saver....cleaning the house... painting my nails...writing out a check...doing the dishes, it's limitless. 



> *Wiltshireman said*: Good time management can look like “multi tasking” people use the gapes in one task to complete another (empty the dishwasher whilst waiting for the kettle to boil) but it is just an “appearance of multi tasking”, “illusion” rather than reality.


 Some call it *Good time Management*, some call it *Multi-tasking"*...it's purely the same thing. 

I know one thing... Some people need A LOT more of these skills on the job...for instance... how many co-workers out there...that once they open their mouths, the work suddenly stops .......Gabbing = un productiveness... such a simple thing....I'm talking labor jobs here, not Doctors or something where one needs laser concentration..such people are Time wasters, not effective managers by any means.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Recently I was cooking dinner while catching up with my husband.

He said something important and I missed it.

Got mad at him later for not telling me and it took me a day to get over it.

Now if he talks I ask him to wait or I turn dinner off.

He deserves my full attention. 

Again multitasking means doing things half assed no doubt about it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mavash. said:


> Recently I was cooking dinner while catching up with my husband.
> 
> He said something important and I missed it.
> 
> ...


I look at this differently....if a woman does much multi-tasking during the day (meaning a SAHM here)... she can get so much done that when her husband walks through the door ... there is near an entire night of undivided attention to give ...dinner ready to go...this is the goal... that way, nights are wide open...for the kids, goofing off or just kicking back.

Unless I am composing a post here, deep in thought, then I may NOT be giving all my attention as I should..in these instances.... I will say "hang on"... 

Him on the other hand, if we are driving somewhere & get to talking, many a times - he will miss the turn. This is virtually unheard of for me. 

I would never feel all multi-taskers do things half-a$$ed....

Thinking of the Pediatrician's secretary....I always compliment this woman....I walk in the office, see her juggling 2 phone lines..a  on her face taking the moment for ME, opening the glass......marking her calendar, the Doc asking her to write something up....and a thorough Job to all on her receiving end.... I always tell her she is great at her Job ..... The Lady before her...slow...rarely a smile...and you'd have to ask for more than she delivered. 

Some are more organized over others...just like some are more friendly... it's like anything else in life.....each has their strengths and weaknesses.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Had to mention this as a warning...kinda funny looking back ....

A couple yrs ago for a thread on this very subject ...wanting to give a SAHM some pointers on Multi-tasking...a helpful website or 2.... I goggled "*Multitasking housewives*" ....clicked on some link and it crashed my computer ! YEP -husband had to re- do it .. 

I won't do that specific search again!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

SA I bow down to your greatness.

I'm a homemaker and I tried multitasking and it was an epic fail.

I should mention I have PTSD so I'm easily overwhelmed.

If I do too much I'm frazzled by the time my husband gets home.

And don't get me started on menopause....

I'm a one thing at a time gal or I make myself crazy. Lol

I wish I could be like you. 

I never get as much done in a day as I would like to.

Sigh but husband says he understands and loves me anyway.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mavash. said:


> SA I bow down to your greatness.
> 
> I'm a homemaker and I tried multitasking and it was an epic fail.
> 
> ...


Hey ,that is what makes it all worth it... You have a wonderful husband !! To be accepted where we are -is to be fully loved. 

Oh please know... wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad....really...I wasn't aware of all that.. the PTSD.... 

Oh I have my faults...I can be impatient at times...

Here is the other side of that coin....*this is how* *I am*....IF I didn't get everything done (which really isn't difficult for me - unless I decide to play Lazy, plant my rear on this computer (my addiction)....fingers glued to the keyboard for hours on end , happens on occasion).... I'd be MAD  at myself *and end up in a grouchy mood *...so how is that ! 

So it's very beneficial for me to push my butt, Multi-task it up, get things done, in their proper place....THIS puts me in a good mood... which is helpful for ...well... the whole family...when Mama is happy, everyone is happy...


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

See that puts me in a good mood too.

I'm an organized person.

I easily stayed on top of things until this last year.

3 kids in 3 schools did me in. Lol


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