# wife left me, its real now



## Nice Guys Finish Last (Jan 4, 2010)

hi all, i was speaking earlier in this thread, this thread is a fast forward to the updates in my story.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/10313-wife-left-me-day-1-a.html

After awkward weekly meetings and my W keeping me at a distance. (almost no effort on her part to communicate, i would initiate all contact)

a brief recap is that before our separation in January (which she simply moved out) we agreed to just see each other once a week, it was a trial separation, blah blah, a crock of **** i know know.

I have been seeing a psychologist and going to a divorce group for support. I finally manage to get her into see my psychologist to see if we'd continue with marriage therapy and long story short is that she doesn't want to reconcile.

I finally get her in and she says this last week. I've known where this was headed for a while now, but its real now. This is it. Divorce is imminent. 

I just need to keep busy, and get on with my life now, this is the next step as difficult as it may be. Only time is my friend.

I will keep busy in the mean time.

She just came over to sign the taxes, and I asked her to give the wedding rings back. She said no.
to save you the back and forth, i just want to know what the etiquette is here. She left me, I want the rings back. what is the norm here.....we have been cordial about everything to this point. we did not scream or anything about this, but just disagreed. what do u all think?


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

Nice Guys Finish Last said:


> hi all, i was speaking earlier in this thread, this thread is a fast forward to the updates in my story.
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/10313-wife-left-me-day-1-a.html
> 
> After awkward weekly meetings and my W keeping me at a distance. (almost no effort on her part to communicate, i would initiate all contact)
> ...


I hope u will not try to remain nice friends after she has done this to u . U deserve much better 


best of luck


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I cannot imagine why either of you wants the rings, but neither of you has a better claim on them. You will think she's the one ending the marriage; she will think you did, with whatever behaviors she feels led to her resentment and inability to stay married.

The rings are marital property and, as such, are likely to be 50% for each of you. You could ask for 1/2 the current value of the rings, as long as you are willing to sell your ring and give her 50% of that. If that's what you want, there will be a place to include that in the divorce papers. Do it that way if you need to do it at all.


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## Nice Guys Finish Last (Jan 4, 2010)

bestplayer said:


> I hope u will not try to remain nice friends after she has done this to u . U deserve much better
> 
> 
> best of luck


thank you i appreciate it , i do deserve better. this is garbage.


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## Nice Guys Finish Last (Jan 4, 2010)

sisters359 said:


> I cannot imagine why either of you wants the rings, but neither of you has a better claim on them. You will think she's the one ending the marriage; she will think you did, with whatever behaviors she feels led to her resentment and inability to stay married.
> 
> The rings are marital property and, as such, are likely to be 50% for each of you. You could ask for 1/2 the current value of the rings, as long as you are willing to sell your ring and give her 50% of that. If that's what you want, there will be a place to include that in the divorce papers. Do it that way if you need to do it at all.


yeah i understand your point....i just feel that she shouldnt be able to sell them and profit, especially after leaving me....that was my hard earned cash that i earned to give to someone who i thought was my wife.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

time to change your screen name from the victimish one you have to something better like "assertive guys are happier"




Nice Guys Finish Last said:


> yeah i understand your point....i just feel that she shouldnt be able to sell them and profit, especially after leaving me....that was my hard earned cash that i earned to give to someone who i thought was my wife.


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

sisters359 said:


> I cannot imagine why either of you wants the rings, but neither of you has a better claim on them. You will think she's the one ending the marriage; she will think you did, with whatever behaviors she feels led to her resentment and inability to stay married.
> 
> The rings are marital property and, as such, are likely to be 50% for each of you. You could ask for 1/2 the current value of the rings, as long as you are willing to sell your ring and give her 50% of that. If that's what you want, there will be a place to include that in the divorce papers. Do it that way if you need to do it at all.


I think from op's post it is pretty clear it is she who is ending the marriage because she believes she isn't in love with him for whatever silly reasons & doesn't want to change how she feels about him. 
If there were issues she should have tried to work it out with op as he was more than willing to make it work but she decided she doesn't wan't him . 
I think op's only fault was he was hopeful & just carrying on as nice guy with her while she has made up her mind to dump him.


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

Nice Guys Finish Last said:


> thank you i appreciate it , i do deserve better. this is garbage.



From the most of the similar stories on this site I think it always 
ends like this .
Though I haven't been in your shoes but I think would be happy to dump my partner pretty soon when she starts giving crap like " i love u but ...." , rather than holding out hopes & let her continue messing up my life . 

Wish u luck for future


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