# Sticky Subject..........



## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

Wanted to get everyone's feedback on this one...........

My wife of 20 years has been talking about getting a breast lift, not making bigger, but putting things back to the way they were.

A little background...........she has nursed 7 babies in our marriage and has been nursing for close to 17 years. We are done having children and she would like to get things put back to the way they were. I know my wife and this is purely for her self confidence and finding a 'you-know-what' that fits properly (probably TMI, but oh well).

Anybody have any thoughts? I have the means to get this done and want to support her 100% but would like to get some feedback...............she told me that if I was against it, she would NOT do it.


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

Hi!

I think I would be a bit younger than your wife (early thirties) but I have four children quite close in age, the youngest is 15 months.

I have been relatively lucky that nursing hasn't affected my "silhouette" too much. I can notice now I've finished feeding the youngest that there *is* a slight difference although my OH isn't bothered at all. I must admit though that if I could get things "lifted" and rounded a little I would definitely consider it, not just for my self-confidence but also because I would want OH to be happy with how I looked as his laydee, not just as "mum" IYSWIM?

I would say find out more about the procedures, together, and see how you both feel then. What are your initial thoughts?


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

My wife has mentioned it.
I told her, "If you want to do this for yourself, I am behind you 100%. But don't do it for me."


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

I'm in the same position as Dan on this. My wife mentioned the same thing - not to get bigger but to "fight gravity." Like Dan I told her if she wanted it I was fine with it but that I also thought she was absolutely beautiful without. My wife is relatively fortunate in this department naturally so I pointed out to her that every time she puts on a low cut blouse she gets self conscious and tries to make it more conservative, I then asked her if she really wanted to do anything to call more attention to herself. She ultimately decided she was happy without the surgery and a new push up bra. And, as I told her - I'm happy either way.


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

tobio said:


> Hi!
> 
> I think I would be a bit younger than your wife (early thirties) but I have four children quite close in age, the youngest is 15 months.
> 
> ...


My wife will be 41 this July. That is the ONLY area of her body that she is not happy with..........5'-6", curves in ALL the right places.......definitely does NOT look like she has had 7 children!!

The biggest issue is that she cannot find a bra that fits her well and she also wants to look good in a bathing suit (she has never worn bikini's but one piece).

She is a very stunning woman and I have had some slight insecurity in the past about others looking at her. That is my fear right now..............will those insecurities pop back up??


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

My wife is interested in the same procedure for the same reasons.

I`ve told her that I would prefer her not to do it due to health/risk reasons.

She`s free to do what she wants though.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Yes - you will become more insecure if she does it; as it is, your son's friend has the hots for her. I can't imagine why she'd even go there, if she knows you're already insecure...


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Yes - you will become more insecure if she does it; as it is, your son's friend has the hots for her. I can't imagine why she'd even go there, if she knows you're already insecure...


She ASSURES me that this is purely for her self confidence. I have to believe her.............I know that if I strike this down, there is going to be ANOTHER mountain to climb!! I will be the one financing it BTW..............


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

My H financed his ex-wife's new chest as well. Notice the 'ex'...maybe you should read a few of the threads on enhanced women who suddenly have so much new self confidence, that they end up running off on their husbands...

I don't mean to sound harsh; boob jobs are a sore spot for me. Actually, I don't agree with having any unneccesary plastic surgery. But that's just me!


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Are you the man who posted about feeling insecure that a male teenage son's friend looks at your wife?

I'm sure his eyes will bug out and his jaw will hit the floor when he sees the new perky pair of boobies.

Can you deal with that?
Can you deal with other males having the same reaction?


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Yes - you will become more insecure if she does it; as it is, your son's friend has the hots for her. I can't imagine why she'd even go there, if she knows you're already insecure...


Maybe she is messing with Dad27's head just to see how he reacts?

Dad27, You'd best get a grip on your insecurities regarding other men looking at your wife before you go down this path.


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

Yardman said:


> Maybe she is messing with Dad27's head just to see how he reacts?
> 
> Dad27, You'd best get a grip on your insecurities regarding other men looking at your wife before you go down this path.


My insecurities are DEFINITELY getting better. I am married to an attractive woman. She can't help that. Bottom line is that nothing has changed at home, we have a strong relationship, we talk about everything (concerns, financial decisions, raising our children, etc., etc.), and the action in the bedroom has NEVER been better. Unless I royally screw up, I don't see that changing.

Her 'confidence' issues lies in the fact that she is wearing a padded bra right now and she only fills up the bottom half. She will have the same bra size, but it will be full KWIM?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Dad27 said:


> My insecurities are DEFINITELY getting better. I am married to an attractive woman. She can't help that. Bottom line is that nothing has changed at home, we have a strong relationship, we talk about everything (concerns, financial decisions, raising our children, etc., etc.), and the action in the bedroom has NEVER been better. Unless I royally screw up, I don't see that changing.
> 
> *Her 'confidence' issues lies in the fact that she is wearing a padded bra right now and she only fills up the bottom half. She will have the same bra size, but it will be full KWIM?*




Your wife is wearing the wrong sized bra...if you really want to foot the bill for something, foot the bill for a bra-fitting. You'll save yourself thousands. 

BTW - most women get it in their heads that they are a certain size and they won't budge. For years, I squeezed my tits into a 36B - one day, I went to Victoria's Secret, and found out that I really should be wearing a D cup. I never looked back; and my boobies have never looked so good. I'm 41.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Well I certainly have no direct knowledge of what I'm about to offer. But, I get the impression from my wife that "bra fitting" is something of an art, with maybe a little voodoo even. 

Maybe your wife could look into getting "fitted" although I don't really know how or where you go to do that but I've heard my wife talk about it. Maybe some of the ladies could offer an opinion or advice?? Might be productive to post in the Ladies Lounge?


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Dammit - Candie beat me to it


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> [/I][/B]
> 
> Your wife is wearing the wrong sized bra...if you really want to foot the bill for something, foot the bill for a bra-fitting. You'll save yourself thousands.
> 
> BTW - most women get it in their heads that they are a certain size and they won't budge. For years, I squeezed my tits into a 36B - one day, I went to Victoria's Secret, and found out that I really should be wearing a D cup. I never looked back; and my boobies have never looked so good. I'm 41.


The problem is that after nursing 7 children, gravity has taken it's toll! I bet she has tried 40 different bras and nothing seems to fit.............from Victoria's Secret to mail order. She is very frustrated!

She is not set on a certain size. She does not want to get bigger, just move things up.............


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Well, there she's got me beat. I've only nursed 3 children, and they really held up quite well. I suppose if I had two fried eggs on my chest, I'd be singing a different tune.

That being said, it's just a part of life and getting older. I don't understand this obsession with thinness, youth, firm breasts...

Good luck to you both.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Well I certainly have no direct knowledge of what I'm about to offer. But, I get the impression from my wife that "bra fitting" is something of an art, with maybe a little voodoo even.
> 
> Maybe your wife could look into getting "fitted" although I don't really know how or where you go to do that but I've heard my wife talk about it. Maybe some of the ladies could offer an opinion or advice?? Might be productive to post in the Ladies Lounge?


:smthumbup:


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## Yardman (Sep 10, 2011)

Dad27 said:


> The problem is that after nursing 7 children, gravity has taken it's toll! I bet she has tried 40 different bras and nothing seems to fit.............from Victoria's Secret to mail order. She is very frustrated!.


Take her and have a bra fitting done at a store. Candie is right about bra fittings. My wife has "gravity" issues too, but after a bra fitting done no longer has bra issues.

Trying on 40+ bras is not the same as a bra fitting.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Your wife is wearing the wrong sized bra...if you really want to foot the bill for something, foot the bill for a bra-fitting. You'll save yourself thousands.
> 
> BTW - most women get it in their heads that they are a certain size and they won't budge. For years, I squeezed my tits into a 36B - one day, I went to Victoria's Secret, and found out that I really should be wearing a D cup. I never looked back; and my boobies have never looked so good. I'm 41.


I agree about bra fitting - but I have to say, Vickie Secrets didn't give me an accurate measuring - not to say you didn't experience an accurate fitting, Candie, just sayin. I'd had fittings done before elsewhere, didn't ask for this one, before I knew it there was a girl wrapping a tape measure around me. She told me I was a D. There's no way in hell I'm a D cup lol. When I tried it on, it was pretty much all padding. While it looked good under a t-shirt, it felt too weird to me that most of it was padding. I didn't purchase it. 

Hubs did enjoy the visual of this blonde measuring me and watching us chat about the size of my breasts though.


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Well, there she's got me beat. I've only nursed 3 children, and they really held up quite well. I suppose if I had two fried eggs on my chest, I'd be singing a different tune.
> 
> That being said, it's just a part of life and getting older. I don't understand this obsession with thinness, youth, firm breasts...
> 
> Good luck to you both.


They are not fried eggs LOL! What is weird is that they are the same size that they have ALWAYS been, but after 7 and gravity, things have fallen.

She went to see a DR yesterday just to see what she is up against. We had a LONG talk about it last night and she told me that she is contemplating doing this as much for me as she is for herself. Her size will not change, things will be moved back to where they were pre-babies.

Bottom line is that I want her to be happy and she knows that!


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Dad27 said:


> she is contemplating doing this *as much for me* as she is for herself.





Dad27 said:


> Bottom line is that *I want her to be happy* and she knows that!


Be careful the two of you don't have a disconnect there...


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

sigma1299 said:


> Be careful the two of you don't have a disconnect there...


Meaning??


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I've read quite a few threads on these forums about boob jobs. They NEVER end happily. A lot of drama comes with it, from women who get a little too into the new attention they are getting, to the men that can't handle it, to, usually, a combination. I can make up some good excuses to justify getting some of these lines pulled out of my face, but plastic surgery is plastic surgery.

Maybe some hair plugs...

She looks good, so that's not the problem? That may be EXACTLY the problem. She can't handle a blemish on all of that other perfection?

I don't know.


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

MrK said:


> I've read quite a few threads on these forums about boob jobs. They NEVER end happily. A lot of drama comes with it, from women who get a little too into the new attention they are getting, to the men that can't handle it, to, usually, a combination. I can make up some good excuses to justify getting some of these lines pulled out of my face, but plastic surgery is plastic surgery.
> 
> Maybe some hair plugs...
> 
> ...


She is already getting attention. I HAVE come to grips with that! She goes home with me!

After nursing, she has been REALLY disappointed with how her chest sits in a bra. Can't speak from experience, but she says it is very uncomfortable and she is a tad bit self concious about it. She knows of a couple of friends that have minor surgery done and their marriages are just fine. She does NOT want larger, just wants things back to where they were before we started having kids.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Meaning that if deep down she really believes she's doing it for you - and you believe she's doing it for herself then you may get to the other side after she's been through a fair amount of pain and altered her body only to find out that it's ultimately what no one really wanted. Make sense?


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

sigma1299 said:


> Meaning that if deep down she really believes she's doing it for you - and you believe she's doing it for herself then you may get to the other side after she's been through a fair amount of pain and altered her body only to find out that it's ultimately what no one really wanted. Make sense?


Gotcha!


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

sigma1299 said:


> Meaning that if deep down she really believes she's doing it for you - and you believe she's doing it for herself then you may get to the other side after she's been through a fair amount of pain and altered her body only to find out that it's ultimately what no one really wanted. Make sense?


She has done a LOT of research on this. We actually started talking about this 2 or 3 years ago. We have since had our last child since then. She is NOT a vain person..............she just wants to fit in a bra.

She has tried NUMEROUS bras on, tried custom fittings (as of last night.............4 hours of my life I won't get back!) and nothing seems to work!

We are DEFINITELY not going to rush into this. We are looking at all the options that are on the table right now...........


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

I only mention it because my wife and I basically ended up in the spot I just described to you. Once she accepted that I thought she was awesome as she is the idea just died a natural death. I was glad it did because I really do think she's perfect and I would hate for her to have gone through that for me when I'm happy already.


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

sigma1299 said:


> I only mention it because my wife and I basically ended up in the spot I just described to you. Once she accepted that I thought she was awesome as she is the idea just died a natural death. I was glad it did because I really do think she's perfect and I would hate for her to have gone through that for me when I'm happy already.


Not to sound sappy, but I tell her how beautiful and gorgeous she is on a daily basis and that I am VERY happy with her body and appearance.

She has talked to a LOT of female friends regarding this issue and the majority of them don't have a problem with it. Bottom line is that she is a full time homemaker and does NOT have the resources to pay for this on her own. I could refuse to pay.........not sure what that would do to our relationship (and I have thought about it!).


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

I wouldn't refuse to pay if it's what she really wants. What I ended up doing for a while was just not encouraging the conversation to see how much life the idea had on its own. Pretty much as soon as I clammed up on the debate the idea died. It was just my way of trying to figure out exactly who she was thinking about getting it done for. As soon as I dropped out the idea died so I think she was really considering it for me not herself. If she'd stayed with it and wanted it for her - I'd have been all for it.


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## Dad27 (Jan 3, 2012)

sigma1299 said:


> I wouldn't refuse to pay if it's what she really wants. What I ended up doing for a while was just not encouraging the conversation to see how much life the idea had on its own. Pretty much as soon as I clammed up on the debate the idea died. It was just my way of trying to figure out exactly who she was thinking about getting it done for. As soon as I dropped out the idea died so I think she was really considering it for me not herself. If she'd stayed with it and wanted it for her - I'd have been all for it.


Thanks Sigma! Appreciate the info!

I think it may come to this if I don't discuss it. Never thought of it that way. 

It is not a consuming thing, meaning she does not bring it up a whole lot. For once in her life (at 40, who knows how much longer it will last), she is feeling good and is enjoying being the fun wife/mom. I want to support her in any way that I can!!


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