# My lawyer died....continued



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

So it's been over a year since I filed. Her lawyer gave us a ridiculous offer for settlement last summer. Me and my lawyer counter-offered with something more reasonable in October. We were waiting on their next reply when my lawyer passed away. Coincendentally...my stbx tells me her lawyer said she "had a reply ready" at the same time my guy died. How convenient now that I no longer had representation.

So I start bugging my wife to have her lawyer just send the resposne to me. Months go by....yeah, that wench never had anything "ready". I finally received a packet in the mail last week and guess what it was? The SAME original ridiculous offer except this time she says "If you sign now you will not have to appear in court and this can be closed. If no reply is received than the court will have to decide on the terms."

Ha ha ha! She's trying to strong-arm me into signing my life over to stbx thinking I'm desperate to be done. And I know she does not want it to go to the court because we only have two judges here and everyone knows their reputations and I got the better one assigned to my case. So I feel confident he would be more fair than what this lawyer is asking of me.

I'm going to talk to a new lawyer next week. But I might just send stbx's wifes attorney another counter offer on my own and see what happens.

What a ride this has been. Not in a million years would I have ever thought I'd still be married today after filing 14 months ago on a very simple divorce.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I'm very sorry, BG. I remember your story. And had hoped this new thread was to say you were finally divorced.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

Just my thinking, but if you were to send a counter offer and she accepted

- you'd wonder what less she'd have settled for.

If you send a counter offer and she rejected

- you'd have set a limit to your maximum demand, and she'd try to bring it down from there.

It's like in haggling - let them stew a bit.

Definitely get professional advice before you make an offer at all.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

My "simple" divorce took over two years. 
I fired my first atty, which isn't QUITE the same as your sitch.
Good luck.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

doubletrouble said:


> My "simple" divorce took over two years.
> I fired my first atty, which isn't QUITE the same as your sitch.
> Good luck.


I probably should've fired mine before he died but I really couldn't afford a new one. Now I have no choice. I liked him as a person but he was SO slow and so is my wife's lawyer. And I'm pretty sure the two were friends. I had a feeling my guy wasn't pushing real hard to get me a good deal but rather just a semi-reasonable one.

I did get a little good news...I found out the judge assigned to my case liked my lawyer a lot. Whoever I hire I'm going to tell to make sure the judge knows I was a client of his when he passed away. Whatever helps.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

If you stick around here long enough, you see almost everything.

We had a guy who was going to expose... couldn't decide.

Then he did and posOM blew his brains out.

You never know.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Wow Conrad, I never saw that thread. Maybe I'm just lucky.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Wow. I, too, run that risk. My attorney is beyond 70. He says he will never retire--he enjoys it too much. He only works part-time though. His son and daughter are taking over some of his workload, so I'm not too worried. Did someone take over your attorney's practice? Perhaps that's an option for you.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

No no one took it over. Another local lawyer gathered up his clients files and distributed them to the clients (me). So I have this 6 inch Manilla folder sitting here and no lawyer.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

BeachGuy said:


> No no one took it over. Another local lawyer gathered up his clients files and distributed them to the clients (me). So I have this 6 inch Manilla folder sitting here and no lawyer.


If you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Beachguy,

Didn't you have a sexless marriage for over a decade? Finally someone cheated and you finally decided to divorce and still it goes on.

Must be one of the most drawn out threads on TAM.

All you can do is get a new lawyer.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Conrad said:


> If you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any.


So you've told me.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a new lawyer.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

BeachGuy said:


> So it's been over a year since I filed. Her lawyer gave us a ridiculous offer for settlement last summer. Me and my lawyer counter-offered with something more reasonable in October. We were waiting on their next reply when my lawyer passed away. Coincendentally...my stbx tells me her lawyer said she "had a reply ready" at the same time my guy died. How convenient now that I no longer had representation.
> 
> So I start bugging my wife to have her lawyer just send the response to me. Months go by....yeah, that wench never had anything "ready". I finally received a packet in the mail last week and guess what it was? The SAME original ridiculous offer except this time she says "If you sign now you will not have to appear in court and this can be closed. If no reply is received than the court will have to decide on the terms."
> 
> ...


*If you've already formally filed, you should have a court of jurisdiction that has been assigned your case. Since you are now a pro se litigant i. e. representing yourself temporarily while procuring new legal counsel, you should petition the presiding judge of your court, inform them of the death of your legal counsel, and have them issue a court order to your wife's attorney to have them disclose any and all information that they have, including any verifiable offer that was tendered to your original counsel of record. They would then be compelled to reply to both the court and to you under the penalty of contempt of court!*


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

New lawyer is very different from dead lawyer. Younger, more aggresive....more expensive. $8000 to get it through trial (which he says will probably never happen; trial that is).

He didn't seem to think I could ever reach an agreement just making offers and counter offers. And he said mediation is a waste of time even though you have to go through the motions and do it. Said I should file a request for a temporary order to sell our home now and split the profits. I never wanted to sell it...I wanted to let her keep it but use the equirty as a lump sum alimony payment so it shortens the length of time I have to pay and keeps my kids from having to move. But he seemed very adament that we should sell it now. I didn't understand that. Unless it's so he knows I had a pocket full of money and could pay him in cash.

I'm more lost now than I was before about what to do. I don't have $8,000 laying around. I didn't retain him or anything as of yet.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*So sorry to hear that, Beach! Please don't lose heart, and just keep interviewing counsel. And keep asking your friends, family, and associates for recommendations!*


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Eight grand is a huge chunk. Keep talking to other attys. If they give you recommendations that don't sit well with you and can't explain them to your satisfaction, keep fishing. They're out for themselves, not you. You have to run the ship completely.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Conrad said:


> If you stick around here long enough, you see almost everything.
> 
> We had a guy who was going to expose... couldn't decide.
> 
> ...


really? That is tragic, where is here, TAM?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

BeachGuy said:


> So you've told me.
> 
> I have an appointment tomorrow with a new lawyer.


Good luck, hope it goes well for you finding one that you can trust to represent.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Lon said:


> really? That is tragic, where is here, TAM?


Conrad's been permabanned, so he won't be back to answer your question. I was curious, too. Maybe some other old timers can tell us. Bit of a threadjack though.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

BeachGuy said:


> New lawyer is very different from dead lawyer. Younger, more aggresive....more expensive. $8000 to get it through trial (which he says will probably never happen; trial that is).
> 
> He didn't seem to think I could ever reach an agreement just making offers and counter offers. And he said mediation is a waste of time even though you have to go through the motions and do it. Said I should file a request for a temporary order to sell our home now and split the profits. I never wanted to sell it...I wanted to let her keep it but use the equirty as a lump sum alimony payment so it shortens the length of time I have to pay and keeps my kids from having to move. *But he seemed very adament that we should sell it now. I didn't understand that. * Unless it's so he knows I had a pocket full of money and could pay him in cash.
> 
> I'm more lost now than I was before about what to do. I don't have $8,000 laying around. I didn't retain him or anything as of yet.


Perhaps you are misreading his intentions. This may actually be a very interesting power-play. You say that her offer is ridiculously high right? And you can't seem to reach an equitable agreement. So what if......you (through your attorney) threaten to sell the home outright and split the proceeds? What do you think her reaction will be to that? Will she start to see reality? Will she counter-offer in another direction more beneficial to you?

Sometimes a good attorney will throw in a monkey wrench to bring both parties (especially her) to a more reasonable settlement.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Got an email from stbx saying her lawyers office had called her and said they "hadn't heard from me on their last offer" and if something didn't happen the petition might "fall off the docket" and we'd have to start over. Something about mediation too.

I haven't answered her yet but I'm thinking about saying "I'm waiting on you to respond to our counter offer from last October." Because as my orignial post says what they sent me was their first original offer that we countered too. Not a reply to what we sent.

I won't let it fall off the docket. I know there's an expiration on cases with no activity. If it gets to that point I'll just call the court and file something to keep it active. Still lawyer hunting as finances allow....


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

My first atty let the first one fall off the docket. I was away in CA on a business trip and he called me. What a drip. Glad I fired him.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: My lawyer died....continued (update)*

Wife is suddenly proactive in getting this done. Asking me questions about what'd happen if our case falls off the docket, etc. My guess is her lawyers office told her if something doesn't happen soon, it'll drop and they will stop representing her (she owes them money). And that's got her worried we would have to do all of this all over again. She's asked me to sit down and discuss it with her this weekend to see if we can reach some agreement on terms. First time she's ever asked me to talk about it.

I still don't have a new lawyer. Hmm...maybe we can finish this up with her attorney. IF...my stbx will back off on her ridiculous demands for terms of the divorce. I'm not getting my hopes up.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Good luck.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

So...she came to me Saturday morning to talk. There's really 3 items we have yet to agree on in the divorce; she had asked that I keep paying the 2nd mortgage and she gets to stay in the house and sell it when she chooses too and we split the proceeds (she'd never sell it). Second is amount of alimony and length. Third is life insurance beneficiary.

She started by saying she would pay both mortgages and her concern was she didn't want to have to move right away. We never got much past that...started talking about the future...her working, moving, etc., then my daughter came into the room and we had to stop the discussion.

The plot thickens....


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sounds like she wants it done. Might be a good thing.

I assume that the your name is still on the mortgage of the house? If she keeps the house, is she going to refinance it or will you remain on the mortgage? 

This might be the issue that the attorney has. If you remain on the mortgage, she can stick you with payments. It would be hard for you to get your money back.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

She can do what my ex did as long as your name is on the mortgage. You are responsible, even if a judge signs papers giving it to her. Make it a term that she has to refi the house. Otherwise she could let it go to foreclosure (as my ex did) and it will screw your credit if you want to buy a house in the next 3 to 7 years (depending on FHA or conventional).


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