# Please advise



## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

Can a women love and totally adore her hubby and they been together since they was both 14 and now 35 but kinda crave an experience with another guy u think just once in her life time ? Bcas she's only ever slept with her hubby and even tho they are good together and they talk, listen hug and hold.... In an ideal world she admitted to her hubby that she'd liked to have had that experience even if just once .. Please tell me what you think .. I'm new to this website x


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I think it's normal for both men and women to "wish" their lives were different in some way. Sexual experience, socioeconomic class, travel, career, etc.
And while they think they've "missed" something, they really do love their spouse and know that their life together is a good one.


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## Jonnyinuk (Sep 10, 2015)

So do I let her ? I do love her and sumtimes I even find myself understanding the craving .. ?


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## DoneWithHurting (Feb 4, 2015)

You "let" her and it "may" be the end of your marriage.
She may "like" it and not want to stop at just one.
You really want to be a ****old?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Not recommended.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

NO do not LET her.... she had a choice to be with you and ONLY you??. She must have known that this was what was ahead being with you forever!!.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

I just watched the movie 'Noah'. There's the part were it starts to rain, then suddenly the 'fountains of the deep' burst open and the flood cannot be stopped. I see this, figuratively, happening to your life. Tread carefully, but better to not tread at all….nip it in the bud. 

On a side note, you mention you understand this 'craving'…..are you empathizing with her, or are you also wanting to step outside of the marriage for some yuckity-yucks?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Honestly, if you two have been together since 14, and one of you is questioning that decision, I think you're better off separating to see what it's like 'out there' so you can get it out of your system. It will never go away. And you can't control her.


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## knightRider (Dec 31, 2014)

Maybe you need to pep up your sex life with her?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Some doors are just not meant to be open with fallout that could destroy your marriage....think of all the repercussions that could happen....are you....is she willing to have that happen?


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

You guys could open up the marriage, and she could end up leaving. Of she could end up staying. You never know what will happen.

Or you could say, "no, that is unacceptable to me," and she could end up leaving anyway.

I don't think the itch is ever going to go away once it is there--she will always wonder if you refuse to open that door. And it might get worse.

But some people do have successful open marriages, or monogam-ish marriages. maybe that works for you guys, maybe it doesn't. But if she gets to try other people out, so do you. And you should try others, if she is trying others. Don't let her say, well, I want to try other men, but you (husband) must stay faithful to me.

Personally, I wouldn't have it. If my mate said to me, I want to sleep with other women, I would say, "You are free to do what you want, but know that if you choose to take that path, I won't be here waiting for you." Other partners is a deal-breaker for me. I've been approached by men who are in open relationships, who were looking for a secondary. I always declined. I'm not interested in being in someone's harem. And another part of me is thinking, "You already have someone! Stop being greedy!"


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Tell her "I will not share my wife with another man".

If you naively go with this it will change your relationship forever and not for the better.

This almost always ends badly, don't be a fool.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

FeministInPink said:


> You guys could open up the marriage, and she could end up leaving. Of she could end up staying. You never know what will happen.
> 
> Or you could say, "no, that is unacceptable to me," and she could end up leaving anyway.
> 
> ...


This is why I'd suggest the separation. Spend some time apart and you'll either realize you belong together or that you just got together for convenience or 'young love' and it's no longer a fit. Better than just staying together out of fear or control.


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