# BEEP BEEP Look out! The karma bus is rolling into town!



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

So, I get home from work, check my mail and I have a letter from the state child support enforcement agency. I have not received any child support from my ex husband since the divorce was finalized on June 6. This has made him $1,500 in arrears. I got a letter stating they were going after him for the past due amount and I will be receiving an additional $150.00 a month for past due on top of the regular support payments. With the child support he pays to me, the child support he pays for his oldest daughter to a different mother, with the medical insurance he pays for the kids (and that is court ordered as well) now with the additional amount he has to pay, that pretty much eats up his entire pay check. He wont have any money left. Oh boo  How sad. BWAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA EAT IT ASSHAT! 
He's going to be working 50plus hours a week and bringing home literally $0. Why? Because his car payment is also automatically deducted from his pay too. Once all these garnishments are taken out, he is left with literally zero. Gee, I hope new poorass GF makes enough money to support him. He's gonna need it. He has no family who will help him out money-wise. Oh, I only wish I could see the look on his face when he sees that extra money taken from his check.
I'm feeling a bit vindicated right now


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Although I don't believe in karma, because it implies that you deserved to be cheated on, I do believe in getting justice done. Did he think he was just going to ride off into the sunset with OW and have a good life while destroying his family with no repercussions? Time to pay the piper!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

lordmayhem said:


> Although I don't believe in karma, because it implies that you deserved to be cheated on, I do believe in getting justice done. Did he think he was just going to ride off into the sunset with OW and have a good life while destroying his family with no repercussions? Time to pay the piper!


Karma is both good and bad though. In this case, Apples ex got bad karma and she today got good karma. See how it works? Pretty cool stuff.

Apples, greasy fat fry chick got herself a real prize. Oh, I coined a new phrase earlier today over something totally unrelated but I figured you would appreciate it, since you tend to like my word combinations. I'll PM you with the word as I am not sure it can be posted here.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Hmmmm....glad to hear justice will be served. That sounds like my estranged husband. He's behind with child/spousal support by more than $11K. I will be sending the affidavit to the judge this next week. He will then get to begin his stay in an entirely new gated community--the county jail. I'm wondering what his little tart will do then. It's really going to cut her budget. Priceless!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

There is no way he can stay afloat financially on his own. For one, his credit is so bad, nobody will loan him money, for two, he comes from a poor family. They have no money to help out with (nor do they want to help him. He lied to all them as well and they have pushed him away. I'm closer to his family than he is.) The new GF that he is living with now is only 22 with a child of her own. I cant imagine she makes that much money. Although I would bet that she is probably on state aid and he simply mooches off of her.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Karma is both good and bad though. In this case, Apples ex got bad karma and she today got good karma. See how it works? Pretty cool stuff.
> 
> Apples, greasy fat fry chick got herself a real prize. Oh, I coined a new phrase earlier today over something totally unrelated but I figured you would appreciate it, since you tend to like my word combinations. I'll PM you with the word as I am not sure it can be posted here.


Hey Brighteyes, but Asshat isnt shacked up with Fatass. He scored himself a new GF.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

827Aug said:


> Hmmmm....glad to hear justice will be served. That sounds like my estranged husband. He's behind with child/spousal support by more than $11K. I will be sending the affidavit to the judge this next week. He will then get to begin his stay in an entirely new gated community--the county jail. I'm wondering what his little tart will do then. It's really going to cut her budget. Priceless!


:smthumbup: As much as I would wallow in the joys of seeing my ex hauled off to jail, it would not be good as if he's in jail, he can't work and if he doesn't work, then I get no child support. 
I hope justice is served for you. $11K is a lot.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> Hey Brighteyes, but Asshat isnt shacked up with Fatass. He scored himself a new GF.


Fine, then the term I coined is for him.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

AppleDucklings said:


> :smthumbup: As much as I would wallow in the joys of seeing my ex hauled off to jail, it would not be good as if he's in jail, he can't work and if he doesn't work, then I get no child support.
> I hope justice is served for you. $11K is a lot.



Oh, I don't want him in jail either. The judge gave him a second chance back in May to start paying as he ordered in February. The judge told him if he ignored that order he would be picked up and serve 30 days at the county jail. He didn't take the judge's second warning seriously either. He makes plenty of money, and lives in a gated community at the beach with Miss Sweet Tart (my new name for her). He's just that arrogant and obviously has "habits" to support. Unfortunately he will probably lose his job over this. But, hey, I wasn't getting money anyway.

Both your ex and my estranged husband probably aren't going to come to terms with reality and get a conscience until they hit rock bottom. I've been waiting five years for that to happen. Maybe this will finally do that.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> There is no way he can stay afloat financially on his own. For one, his credit is so bad, nobody will loan him money, for two, he comes from a poor family. They have no money to help out with (nor do they want to help him. He lied to all them as well and they have pushed him away. I'm closer to his family than he is.) The new GF that he is living with now is only 22 with a child of her own. I cant imagine she makes that much money. Although I would bet that she is probably on state aid and he simply mooches off of her.


I understand the pain and hurt going through all you been through.But if I may ask a serious question with out sounding like an a$$.

would it not be better to get something rather than nothing.I mean if he can't suport himself he will lose his job and then you might get even less in the end.

if he loses his job now in this recession he might not find one for a long time. espically since more and more emplorers are doing extensive background checks (he won't look to good to most emplorers)


or he might start working under the table and then theres no way to know what hes earning. 


I don't know the law so maybe driving him down into poverty(wich he most certinaly deserves) is how you get the most finacialy out of him.

But it sounds counter productive I would think you have to let him have enough to be a cash cow for a few years rather than him becomming so poverty stricken that you loss out.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My mom and stepmom finally caught up to my father when us kids were grown. We hadn't seen him in over 15 years and he hadn't paid a dime in that time either.

He owed over 50,000 in back child support  He couldn't register his car or renew his license until it was paid off.

Serves him right. My mom worked 2 jobs to support me because his stupid ass wouldn't pay.

A check came for me for a little over 20,000 (I was 22). The rest went to my sisters and their mom. I signed over the check to my mother. Seemed like the right thing to do.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> I understand the pain and hurt going through all you been through.But if I may ask a serious question with out sounding like an a$$.
> 
> would it not be better to get something rather than nothing.I mean if he can't suport himself he will lose his job and then you might get even less in the end.
> 
> ...


No. Because if you accept less you start a precedent. Then he can claim you will accept less.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Chilly your argument has been the basis for the lagging child support collection policies of the past. Women have fought hard to get child support agreements inforced. Things have improved marginally for children of divorce. Many states and the feds are confiscating tax refunds, and garneshing pay and using many aggressive methods of getting childen the support they should have from both of their working parents. 

I have no sympathy for Apples husband. He got himself into a fnancial hole by failing to make suitable adjustments to his lifestyle to take care of his responsibilities. That is what Apples and her kids must do so why is he exempt. If he does not pay for the children he made then we, the people must.

I think it is a good thing that he is financially hamstrung, that will naturally drop kick him out of the baby making arena. He is not morally, financially or psychologically suitable for fathering any more children. From an evolutionary standpoint, he is a sub par sperm donor and father figure. 

From a societal standpoint, any further issue from him would be a drain on our society. He will feel like a stud making babies until he is 90 so financial neutering is a good way of preventing an unsuitable man from indiscriminant seed spreading. If he is poverty stricken for having to support kids think of all of the woman who are the same because the father of their kids will not pay. 

Apple don't let up and don't feel sorry for him. You and your kids are making sacrifices and he will join you in your struggles that will be good for him. Maybe he will realize that the world does not revolve around him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> I understand the pain and hurt going through all you been through.But if I may ask a serious question with out sounding like an a$$.
> 
> would it not be better to get something rather than nothing.I mean if he can't suport himself he will lose his job and then you might get even less in the end.
> 
> ...



The thing is, he can support himself and pay child support.

He simply doesn't want to.

My dad worked crap jobs BECAUSE he didn't want to pay anything....what bullshet! (this was from his mouth years later when I talked to him about it).


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## Romeo_Holden (Sep 17, 2011)

this isn't karma, this is just the legal system, it was bound to happen regardless...the most important thing is that the kids get what they need.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> Chilly your argument has been the basis for the lagging child support collection policies of the past. Women have fought hard to get child support agreements inforced. Things have improved marginally for children of divorce. Many states and the feds are confiscating tax refunds, and garneshing pay and using many aggressive methods of getting childen the support they should have from both of their working parents.
> 
> I have no sympathy for Apples husband. He got himself into a fnancial hole by failing to make suitable adjustments to his lifestyle to take care of his responsibilities. That is what Apples and her kids must do so why is he exempt. If he does not pay for the children he made then we, the people must.
> 
> ...


He has had a vasectomy so he won't be making any more children, which is good for everyone all around. This really does screw him very hard financially but he was the one who chose to cheat. Far as I'm concerned, he knew I would divorce him if he cheated again, and he still cheated again. He knew the consequences. Now he shall live with them. And I dont care if he ends up sleeping in his car.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

that_girl said:


> The thing is, he can support himself and pay child support.
> 
> He simply doesn't want to.
> 
> My dad worked crap jobs BECAUSE he didn't want to pay anything....what bullshet! (this was from his mouth years later when I talked to him about it).


He's shacked up with a 22 yr old now. He is 35. Someone very young, easy to manipulate. My ex is a very charming man. That's the narcissist in him. He can paint a girl the prettiest of pictures with his sweet words of dripping lies. He will have no money after all the CS comes out, but no big deal. He has some poor ass to live off of.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Apple--I am glad to hear he will finally have to pay up. It's amazing (and sadly, not surprising) that he hasn't paid you any CS since June. Just goes to show you, again, where his responsibilities (or lack of them) are. He is a selfish man.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

that_girl said:


> A check came for me for a little over 20,000 (I was 22). The rest went to my sisters and their mom. I signed over the check to my mother. Seemed like the right thing to do.


I teared up! She clearly raised you right! 

I am a little shocked that the money didn't go directly to her, though. She clearly used her own funds to care for her children. Shouldn't late CS be viewed as repayment? I'm curious to know if it always works this way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> I teared up! She clearly raised you right!
> 
> I am a little shocked that the money didn't go directly to her, though. She clearly used her own funds to care for her children. Shouldn't late CS be viewed as repayment? I'm curious to know if it always works this way.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The theory as I understand it is that the money is sent to the parent for use for the child. Almost like a trust, where the parent is the administrator - the money is the child's and the administrator spends it on their behalf. So even though the mom spent her own money, the thought is that she would have done so anyway (she has some obligations to support the child as well). Obviously reality is quite different, but just wanted to point out why it happens this way.

EDIT - I also agree it was way cool what that_girl did for her mom. A real credit to how she was raised.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Maybe you can make this into your new AVatar...


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

touchy subject for me.
My ex cheated and destroyed the family, obviously not worried about the best interests of the family or child.
Barring months if not years of expensive litigation, she got primary custody. 
I now pay her child support, as well as lose the time with my child.
I was given the " because its just the way it is" as reason behind why she was automatically assumed a better parent, and being that infidelity means nothing to a court, I was left with the option of having to prove she was incompetent through a long expensive court battle resulting in judgment being rendered by someone completely ignorant of the situation or family history, therefore relying on an outdated Standard Order completely favoring the mother,,, or accept my future role as Part Time Dad. Suddenly find yourself having to prove you are the better parent, involved Dad, versus someone automatically assumed as primary because thats "Just the way it is.."

Theres no excuse for not paying your child support, but Catherine's statement about how "Women have fought for years..." clearly exemplifies how ingrained this social assumption is. It became a case of me being assumed guilty and having to prove my innocence, because I was a man, and becuase she was a mother.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

When my brother walked in on his wife banging some scumbag and divorced her, she was ordered to pay 50 bucks a month for child support!!, not a dime was EVER paid to him.

take a wild guess how I wasnt able to afford the long litigation process to fight a "maybe" war with my ex in court over custody?? spending the last ten years of my life putting every dime I had into caring for the household and paying for emergencies, and taking care of immediate needs to the point of buying groceries on a credit card for over a year, while she all the time just "didnt have the money" to help out. 
She makes 30% more than I do every year by the way, its just a matter of how she parties with every nickel she gets. I guess I ended up being the controlling asshat hoping we wouldnt retire as greeters at Walmart.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Shoo, you have a very valid point and you are right. In cases like yours, where you were faithful and she wasn't, it's not fair. I've always been in favor of some sort of firm legal consequence for a cheating spouse, and the affair partner(s) because of the emotional damages it causes a person. It's not right that your wife got to cheat and you got the crap end of the stick. Not fair at all. I fully support a father's right to his child. I even believe that the father should have a say so in the unborn's life. But, for me, he was the one who cheated, and he is getting what he deserves.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> I teared up! She clearly raised you right!
> 
> I am a little shocked that the money didn't go directly to her, though. She clearly used her own funds to care for her children. Shouldn't late CS be viewed as repayment? I'm curious to know if it always works this way.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't know. We assumed because I was an adult, the money came to me. This was in 1998, so, who knows. lol.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Maybe you can make this into your new AVatar...


:smthumbup: Too funny


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

And to just clear it up, I don't like my mother all that much LOL Honestly...she is a shrewd woman.

HOWEVER--- She was bringing home 1800 a month, raising me, had a 1340 mortgage, a car payment, my teen years, I never wanted anything (even though we lived frugally, I was always happy). She worked two jobs to get that 1800 a month and I still marvel at how she raised me on 500 a month (that's for all bills and food). 

She taught me how to budget, and for that I am thankful.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

AppleDucklings said:


> Shoo, you have a very valid point and you are right. In cases like yours, where you were faithful and she wasn't, it's not fair. I've always been in favor of some sort of firm legal consequence for a cheating spouse, and the affair partner(s) because of the emotional damages it causes a person. It's not right that your wife got to cheat and you got the crap end of the stick. Not fair at all. I fully support a father's right to his child. I even believe that the father should have a say so in the unborn's life. But, for me, he was the one who cheated, and he is getting what he deserves.


:iagree: There need to be consequences for cheating! Many times there is collateral damage caused by the cheating. Some of those damages don't have a price tag but others do. I really hate to see it when a good person is victimized by a cheating spouse and the legal system.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

yea, I never understood how people can cheat and still get alimony, etc.

My uncle's wife cheated on him. She got the house in the divorce but my uncle was still paying for it. Her boyfriend moved in. Her boyfriend also drove the car my uncle was still paying for.

I can see how some people could kill because of this. It's enough to make anyone go mad.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You get to the point where you'd rather have none of your stuff than any of her. Kind of like where people trash their house right before eviction.

Sure, you want money? Do sacks of loose quarters work for you?


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> You get to the point where you'd rather have none of your stuff than any of her. Kind of like where people trash their house right before eviction.
> 
> Sure, you want money? Do sacks of loose quarters work for you?


Yup. I still live in the same house but I have changed it to get rid of "him" as much as I possibly could.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Yup. I still live in the same house but I have changed it to get rid of "him" as much as I possibly could.


Hey baaabe.. 
My house is the same on the outside, but inside it is shagadelic. 

karma. My ex is living on 1/3 the income and paying twice as much living expenses.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

ing said:


> Hey baaabe..
> My house is the same on the outside, but inside it is shagadelic.
> 
> karma. My ex is living on 1/3 the income and paying twice as much living expenses.


Shagadelic. Now there's a groovy word


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Shagadelic. Now there's a groovy word


Austin Powers..
Austin Powers Goldmember Austin Powers' Pad - YouTube


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## ren (Aug 1, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> I think it is a good thing that he is financially hamstrung, that will naturally drop kick him out of the baby making arena.


Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work that way. Humans become less likely to breed as they get wealthier. The same effect can be seen as they get better educated as well. If we want to naturally drop kick him out of the baby making arena we would be better served by giving him a college education and a good job. He sounds like a real ****hole who doesn't deserve either, but wouldn't you rather see the karma bus offer a lift so we don't have to suffer the stink of more roadkill?


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## CharliesAngel (Sep 28, 2011)

that_girl said:


> A check came for me for a little over 20,000 (I was 22). The rest went to my sisters and their mom. I signed over the check to my mother. Seemed like the right thing to do.


Now THAT is beautiful! I also believe it was the right thing to do! :smthumbup:


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

My cousins wife had multiple affairs while they were married. They have 2 children.. She cheated on my cousin many times and she gets alimony. They split in may, as soon as he left she had her other man move in...OH and she is pregnant with the om's baby...

I hope that karma bus will hit her right in her fat arse.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

ladybird said:


> My cousins wife had multiple affairs while they were married. They have 2 children.. She cheated on my cousin many times and she gets alimony. They split in may, as soon as he left she had her other man move in...OH and she is pregnant with the om's baby...
> 
> I hope that karma bus will hit her right in her fat arse.


This is like Shoo said. Faithful men get shat on. It's so unfair. Again, this is why I believe those who have committed adultery should face legal recourse. Marriage, after all, is a legal binding contract and they broke that contract. And it is even more shatty when you have good men like Shoo and your cousin here, who wanted to do right for their family and instead they lost it all. How crappy is that?
I hope the karma bus smacks them hard as well. I'd give just about anything to have a faithful man in my life. I hate when women like that can't see what a good thing they had.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I'd give just about anything to have a faithful man in my life.


Well, AppleDucklings, what are me, Shoo, lon, etc.? Chopped liver? j/k. You have several faithful men in your life here on this board. You will find one in person soon enough. Just take some time for youself to completely heal for now. I want a faithful woman in my life as well, but I won't be dating anyone seriously for at least a year. Hang in there. There are plenty of us out there.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

HurtinginTN said:


> Well, AppleDucklings, what are me, Shoo, lon, etc.? Chopped liver? j/k. You have several faithful men in your life here on this board. You will find one in person soon enough. Just take some time for youself to completely heal for now. I want a faithful woman in my life as well, but I won't be dating anyone seriously for at least a year. Hang in there. There are plenty of us out there.


Hey you can start a dating section on TAM.:smthumbup:


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

notreadytoquit said:


> Hey you can start a dating section on TAM.:smthumbup:



Here you go, I'll start. 

Seriously screwed up man struggling daily to overcome bitterness and hatred toward the woman he still somehow loves seeking seriously screwed up woman struggling daily to overcome bitterness and hatred toward the man she still somehow loves.

Any takers? :rofl:

Seriously, though, I believe there is a section for Dating after divorce. I don't think dating each other from this site would be a good idea. In my opinion, if we are posting here, we are all still way too fresh from the pain for dating. There certainly are some wonderful women on here and it is very nice to have both a male and female perspective on all of this. However, I know I am too vulnerable for a rebound relationship at this point. Now, I might have to look up Jellybeans after I've been divorced for a year or two, though. :rofl:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

HurtinginTN said:


> . Now, I might have to look up Jellybeans after I've been divorced for a year or two, though. :rofl:


As long as you don't stand me up again it's all good.

Steak instead of lasagna, right?


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

I made some nice ribeyes for me and the kids this weekend. Making lasagna isn't good either way. What was that? They are either a lousy cook or a cheater? lol


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

We started the lasagna talk because I was telling you how my mom makes the best lasagna evaaar.
Then you proceeded to say that everytime your wife wanted to butter you up, she would serve you some lasagna.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> We started the lasagna talk because I was telling you how my mom makes the best lasagna evaaar.
> Then you proceeded to say that everytime your wife wanted to butter you up, she would serve you some lasagna.


Jelly, I bumped up my thread "So mad" with something the ex did last night. I think I handled the situation very well but I always like your comments if you can find it and read it.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

I read it and I agree that you handled it very well. Now, I know my opinion don't hold water compared to JB's, but you can have it anyway. lol


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

HurtinginTN said:


> I read it and I agree that you handled it very well. Now, I know my opinion don't hold water compared to JB's, but you can have it anyway. lol


Thanks for reading Ten  I value your opinion too, and I know you like my use of "fun words" LOL


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