# Single men, where to find the good ones and how to reel them in?



## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

I have a thread in the ladies area trying to get the ladies side of the story. I am ending up back on the market in mid 30s and frustrated. To be honest, the things that are going on in my head may be the same as the ladies which is "if they are single WHY?" 

It also seems that about everyone I meet and I think to myself "she seems to have everything I am looking for", yep, wearing a rock....

I am curious where a guy in mid 30s is supposed to find an intelligent girl with substance? From the ladies side, it seem that I better be in top shape, make deep 6 figures, and want to travel every weekend or I will have to settle for Martha from Walmart checking. 

Is there some asset that seems to stand out? Truck, motorcycle, black hair, 6'2,? I still kick myself for selling my dinner getter truck but had to make a mature decision to buy property.... Now I am driving an average truck with stock everything.... Probably hurt my ego more than anything.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

bobsmith said:


> I have a thread in the ladies area trying to get the ladies side of the story. I am ending up back on the market in mid 30s and frustrated. To be honest, the things that are going on in my head may be the same as the ladies which is "if they are single WHY?"
> 
> It also seems that about everyone I meet and I think to myself "she seems to have everything I am looking for", yep, wearing a rock....
> 
> ...



There are plenty of women out there to date.

None of the women I've dated since my ex have cared about how much I made,
what I drove, etc. They just wanted someone who was honest, 
funny, willing to listen, treat them well and have a good time.

Both sexes are guilty of clinging to the silly belief that they
need to get everything they want right off the bat. 

It takes time to sort out things and find the right person for you.

I would rather take my chances with someone in their mid 30's and knows who
they are, rather than some airhead who doesn't have a grasp on reality.


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## Chumpless (Oct 30, 2012)

cantthinkstraight said:


> I would rather take my chances with someone in their mid 30's and *knows who
> they are, rather than some airhead who doesn't have a grasp on reality.*


:iagree:

This is what I meant by "Wisdom" in the "What's your ideal woman..." thread.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Hi Bob

Sounds a lot like my story. Was mid thirties when I started dating again. I was so old that their was no such thing as Internet dating when I was last single lol 

My best advice is to just relax and date to have fun........ no expectations. When time comes that you meet the right one you will. Enjoy single life now while you have it! 

And forget the notion of : I need great clothes, car, money and so on. Yes that will be what impresses some women but I can say from experience I am an average guy with average income and terrible sense of style, thank god I wear a uniform to work. I've Never had trouble finding a date. My female friends tell me it's cause I have tons of confidence so that can work as well. Have fun !!!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

life is like a box of chocolates.......thats been run over by a mack truck.

quit trying so hard and one will fall into your lap.

the secret is to know when it happens. and to capitalize when you notice.

also have reasonable expectations.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Guys, something that seems an apparent character flaw for me is I come off arrogant. I really don't mean to be and I don't think I do that like on a date or something. However, during guy chat for instance, my brain is filled up with knowledge and I seem to correct people or explain things. I never know if it is received as good advice or "this guy thinks he knows everything". 

I can be so detail oriented that I have to turn it off!! I am VERY good with show car stuff because I can pick out details and flaws quickly. I probably do that with everything.. With the ladies, I have found a lady that keeps her car clean a BIG plus for me but my former SO was a mess and I got over it. She did not trash my truck or anything. 

Is there a way to determine confidence and arrogance? Are they even nearly the same?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

bobsmith said:


> Is there a way to determine confidence and arrogance? Are they even nearly the same?


Confidence is believing you can do anything. Arrogance is believing no one else can.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Confidence is believing you can do anything. Arrogance is believing no one else can.



That is an ULTRA interesting way of putting it! I am intrigued. Saying it that way, I would think I lean more towards confident but my spin is I feel if someone else can do it, I can too. Is that arrogance? I really do feel this way though but to be honest, I usually can and it always pissed off my SO. 

For instance, converting the house to central air. I ran all the load calcs, air flow dynamics, build the system. I told people that I build it so I am an ass. Not like I hung it out in the air but it was nice because people that don't know me blew me off as a talker. I just do stuff like that.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

bobsmith said:


> Saying it that way, I would think I lean more towards confident but my spin is I feel if someone else can do it, I can too. Is that arrogance?


Not necessarily. Confident people believe enough in themselves to try. Arrogant people don't know when to stop and ask for help.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

To be honest, I do push myself. I am constantly told "hire someone" just because I have not done something before. I am mostly referring to work related stuff though. I do everything myself (not hired) because I have the ability to do it. 

I rarely fail because I crunch a lot of numbers and figure things out. To be honest, it really only seemed to torque my former SO. Well, and some of my family if things got tight and I needed a bit of help. Actually, it sort of amazes me and makes me feel VERY fortunate. I am working on a job right now that is WAY outside my comfort zone with a LOT of risk and without the help of some good friends, I could not pull it off!!! 

I really want to find someone that can appreciate that I try hard and not afraid to try anything. Asking for help makes me lean towards stubborn. Which I am. It worked for me in football!!! I was a running back and would just keep driving until I heard that whistle....lol

TMI from me.... I am a twin. My bro and I are both VERY technical and very driven to do things we have not done. Our parents told us our whole lives, "those boys could move a mountain if you tell them they can't". 

Maybe I lean towards very confident. I dunno. All I know is my education and background helps be figure stuff out. I guess in a nutshell, I was told before "arrogance is saying you can but can't, confidence is saying you can but really can". 

I don't know but I feel like I elevate myself but only because I have some really good people around me that I try to help when I can!


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

What that's what they tell you , are they dreaming ? Well actually a lot of them do dream these days l've noticed but eh that's as far as it goes.
Got any idea how many single women there are out there and - how long they've been single for ? Millions, and most of them for years and years . She'd have to be pretty damn good to be making demands like that and actually get it . 
Real loves about the person and personally l wouldn't be the least bit attracted to a girl that hollow and carrying on with that [email protected]

But as far as finding her , that special one, l've always found it's more a matter of basically just right place right time myself, just luck at the time really.
Or through you hobbies and interests .


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