# Don't want a divorce



## RoundRock1979 (Dec 15, 2012)

Where do I start...

My husband and I have been married since 2000; we have five and six year old daughters.

He's been deployed a lot; we've faced a great deal of family tragedy and upset...money woes, you name it.

August 22, 2012 he left on a TDY (a temprorary change of station) to the town we married in. He began an affair. I found out, he says he ended it - but he wants a divorce. Period. There's nothing I can do.

He was here last weekend; we made love - had a good time as a family - and then he went right back to OK. 

In anger, I called his mother - which I promised him I would never do - and told her all about it. It was stupid - even more stupid when I revealed his deepest, darkest secret - literally by accident but I did it just the same. He says he never wants to speak to me again - doesn't care - he will file January 2, 2013 come hell or high water.

When I went in to be tested for STDs after finding out about his affair, I found out I was pregnant - but they also noticed a lump on my thyroid. It's cancer. 

I don't want a divorce - I want to "fix" this - but what can I do? I've betrayed him by telling his secret - him by his affair - and he says he wants a divorce - yesterday. What do I do? I'm consumed with it - I love him - he says he loves me. What now? What have I done? Is there anything I can do to save this?


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## DDGresham1 (Dec 15, 2012)

I was in the army for 12 years and saw a little combat. If he's in a war zone it can cause his thinking to be skewed. For some of us it was skewed to begin with so he may have already been twisted. It sounds to me like he had made up his mind to get a divorce no matter what. He may have let you "find out" about his cheating or hoped that you would. Sorry, but he sounds like a real jerk. You should get what child support you can (the army will make certain he pays it) and move on. Sorry to hear about your cancer. I think thyroid has good survival rates. At your age you should beat it. I know you love him but unless he's suffering from PTSD I would move on. He sounds unstable and like a person that doesn't care about you, no matter what he says.


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