# Hurt and Betrayal



## popit7 (Mar 18, 2013)

My wife suffers from depression but i have come to terms with it. i didnt know she had depression until we got engaged but whatever, i knew what i was getting into. I love her no matter her situation. im in it till the end. we are just a new couple. Young and still need to work on a lot of basic skills in making our marriage a long and happy one. Thats why I am here. She is 26 and i am 25. But in the weekend just gone, we had a fight about if she was hiding things from me on her phone. And she said that it had nothing to do with me, it was just her friends and her keeping her friends issues private. I was confused because its ok for her and her friends to have privacy and yet our entire marriage doesnt have the smallest respect of privacy. She brings her whole family into it while im stuck all alone and noone to turn to. I was raised by my Great grandmother and grandmother so im a bit old fashioned for someone my age. I believe that noone else should ever get involved with anyone elses fights and respect their privacy. Anyway we argued somemore and she was going to call her brother to come over and sort me out...whatever that meant because im Polynesian and i dont back down to anyone even if they were twice my size and height. even if it killed me. but anyway being polynesian and my wife is Australian, everyone assumes that we are violent and all that stuff. So i had her phone and said we should talk about this without anyone getting involved. she was stepping on my foot and bruised it real bad, she pushed me through the cupboard and tried jump on me and i got to the point where im like, I GOT TO GET AWAY, so i ducked under her and shrugged her off my shoulder to get away and she falls but first on to the laundry basket which is the hight of a normal dining chair and hit her back on the other cupboard door. and i try to get away. i go out the front to just calm down and have a smoke and she gets hold of her brother and he calls the cops on me. Im close to getting a DVO against my name which has just shot me over the edge. we spent all weekend apart and now we are back at home. But now, Things are not the same. I can see us heading for a divorce but i dont want that. I want to spend my life with her. Noone else. I never meant to hurt her. I have taken full responsibility for the events even the one she started. Im working on my issues as a husband but nothing is happening. She says she loves me but im not buying it. her expressions and body language is the total opposite to what she says. I cant touch or be near her. everything ive wanted to do with her for the last year shes been planning to do in the next few days.....with other people. Is she manipulating me?


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

You can't fix her.Shes not only suffers from depression,but she's
also has violent tendencies.If shes not willing to get help and 
change get out of the marriage while you can.

Be thankful you have seen this behavior early on and don't get her pregnant.It sounds like she has some BPD symptoms.

Read up on other members nightmares there living with.


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## popit7 (Mar 18, 2013)

What about trying to work it out first? Shes awesome, but just this last argument we had was the first time this has happened. Im getting myself sorted and shes doing the same. Shes great but im not going to lie shes hard to deal with. But then again I was taught to fight for what i believe in and i believe we can work this out. I have been in relationships prior to her and im certain she is the one. Theres just something about her that captures me. We have fought so many times before but i still want to work this out. Hopefully this is just a phase that im going through. But please feel free to keep commenting. or ask questions


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