# AP asked to leave



## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

1-1/2 years ago my ex moved in with her AP. Yesterday I get a text "R*** has moved out, I asked him to". We've only been communicating about child issues since then, so it was surprising that she told me. She also said that she has to "get my life in order and can't do it with him here". I told her that it sounded like a good idea and left it at that. When told about it, D12 was quite happy.

I'm glad that he got what was coming to him, I always felt that it was inevitable that it would unravel. After all, he was just a rebound type relationship for her. 

The thought did cross my mind that maybe she's angling for a return to me, but as I thought about whether I still had feelings for her, I couldn't muster any. It will be 2 years in May since dday. I feel at peace with being single and free of her drama. The passage of time and what she did to me and her daughter has apparently killed the feelings I had for her. 

It's good that I feel healed (mostly), but I'm sad thinking about what we had as a family and she threw it away. She was "so in love" with him, now he's been tossed. Who knows, he might be back, but I don't care either way. I'm looking forward, a new life.


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Do you believe that's the real reason he moved out? She asked him to?

ha!


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Glad you realize not to get back into that mess again. 

Your are free. Stay free, or at least do not go back to getting your heart ripped out again.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Funny she felt the need to tell you that and be so specific about who asked who to move out. I, too, wonder if that's the truth. I can see her saying "we broke up and he is moving out" because that impacts the kids so it's worth mentioning. It's the very specific way she says it that I find odd and amusing.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_Funny she felt the need to tell you that and be so specific about who asked who to move out. I, too, wonder if that's the truth. I can see her saying "we broke up and he is moving out" because that impacts the kids so it's worth mentioning. It's the very specific way she says it that I find odd and amusing_

I agree, it is odd. Maybe a way of letting me know that she's over him, not vise versa. Also, why not just let my daughter relay the info to me? I was surprised that she felt the need to tell me directly and inform me of the circumstances.

it must be quite a shock to the cheaters when they come to realize that after all the misery they put themselves and their families through, they still haven't found the pot at the end of the rainbow. What a surprise.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

That's why I always tell my friends who are frustrated with their spouses that the grass is NOT greener being single. Work on the marriage instead.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

ThreeStrikes said:


> Do you believe that's the real reason he moved out? She asked him to?
> 
> ha!


Remember... for the disordered, public image is everything.

I agree he likely dumped her.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_Remember... for the disordered, public image is everything.

I agree he likely dumped her_

Very possible. He is considerably older than her, a heavy drinker and very average looking, nondescript with a low paying job, and of course a POS adulterer. She would not want her friends to know a guy like that would dump her. She's just too wonderful for that to happen.


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## toolforgrowth (Apr 24, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Also, why not just let my daughter relay the info to me? I was surprised that she felt the need to tell me directly and inform me of the circumstances.


I've never believed it's appropriate to use my child to relay information. The less kids feel put in the middle, the better. My XWW used to do that and one time I picked my daughter up from day care who started crying because of it. I put a stop to that immediately. I told XWW to never use our daughter as a conduit and to communicate with me instead. We're the parents, we're the adults, and we can conduct ourselves as such. She never did that again. 

I do find it interesting that she told you about it, though. She could have not said a thing. And yes, I question who really broke up with who, but that's neither here nor there. Sounds like you're doing well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

maincourse99 said:


> _Remember... for the disordered, public image is everything.
> 
> I agree he likely dumped her_
> 
> Very possible. He is considerably older than her, a heavy drinker and very average looking, nondescript with a low paying job, and of course a POS adulterer. She would not want her friends to know a guy like that would dump her. She's just too wonderful for that to happen.


Just too fabulous for words....


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Looking forward, that's a good place to be at.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

_I've never believed it's appropriate to use my child to relay information. The less kids feel put in the middle, the better. My XWW used to do that and one time I picked my daughter up from day care who started crying because of it. I put a stop to that immediately. I told XWW to never use our daughter as a conduit and to communicate with me instead. We're the parents, we're the adults, and we can conduct ourselves as such. She never did that again. _

I agree about relaying information and we don't do that, but the first time D12 goes there and sees him and his stuff gone, it's pretty obvious without having to explain much. She would have come home and told me that he was out.

I am doing well though. Thanks.


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