# Better than I thought I would B



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Today is my anniversary. Divorce is not final but will be sometime this upcoming month. 9years 11 1/2 years together. Earlier this month I was dreading this day wondering if I was going to be depressed, need to take a vacation day or something because I would be emotionally checked out.

I am proud to report non of the above. All day no tears....no sadness. I am not sure why but I am just thankful for that at this particular time.

I know I still have a way to go with the recovery and healing process but I am thankful I did not have the emotional blow or setback I anticipated that would occur.

Over the past week just replaying things in my mind I realize that people don't have endurance in relationships. It is easy to walk away and do nothing but it takes sacrifice, work and and unselfish person to stay and work through issues in marriage. I am aware of that. That is what I signed up for because I know life happens and everything was not going to be a walk in the park everyday. But I was in it to win it team player I wanted to be married for life. Now new pages, new chapters to write with new characters at some point.

I can walk away from this knowing I upheld my vows until the very end and that I am proud and thankful that my character, morals, and value I have for things in life were important to me. Those are things in me I want to ensure I salvage and protect because I cannot let this experience define or take the core essence of who I am away since I am living out bad decisions he made. That is life. 

I guess little by little it starts to get better in time. I know I still have some rough days ahead but glad my anniversary did not take me out like I thought it would :smthumbup:


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## kristen11 (Jun 15, 2011)

Thanks for such positive words. I hope I am able to handle myself the way you did on my anniversary.


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Thanks Kristen11

I am just thankful right now for this moment.

Last week on the radio they announced some celebrity couple having a divorce party together and I thought what seriously...they are going to start the marriage partying and leave partying and I could see how that could be a good end to a relationship especially depending on what happened. Unfortunately, many of us in this forum cannot say that. 

This past weekend was my graduation up until the weekend I was feeling kind of sad because of the situation etc.. I surrounded myself with family all weekend and stayed very positive. At the end of the ceremony when we were outside taking pictures I hugged my mom and cried a little. Tears of a bit of a release that I realized I can let go of past memories and goals and start to define my future.

I was thankful that I was able to start creating new memories for myself that I could rejoice about. I did not want the divorce to take away from my happiness of that moment because I could not go back ask for a redo. I had to live in the moment and give thanks fr it. I was so happy my family was there to love and support me to go out of there way to make this weekend awesome for me. 

Over the past few days I kept listening to rolling in the deep by Adele thinking we could have had it all he F**d it up too bad so sad and Beyonce Best thing I never had (I had to alter the words slightly on the chorus to *best thing I left in my past**) hehe...
YouTube - ‪Beyoncé - Best Thing I Never Had Live @ X Factor France 2011 HD‬‏ I love the part when she sings thank God I found the good in goodbye and what goes around comes back around..... This is added into my songs of recovery and healing!!

There loss...trying hard not to give


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I pray I am as blessed as you when my anniversary comes around next month.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Had not heard that song, but it fits y situation to a tee LOLOL cause he really showed his azz.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Beyonce is toxic to marriage. Giving wives the idea they are young and dating and making them forget about the responsibility of families. I get what she is saying in so many of her songs, to not put up with sh!t, and that's good, but sometime life is just hard and its the choice we made so don't be running away!

I'm kinda being cynical with this, but my wife started soaking up the beyonce albums and it didn't take long for her to get convinced her life was so miserable and she was inventing sh!t about it that she felt she had to put up with from me. Life was good, or could have been if she hadn't cast everything in a negative light all the time, what's worse is she called me the pessimist all along - true I can be a little cynical but deep down I've been the optimist in our relationship.

Anyways rant over.


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Hesnothappy,

Yes, that is what I think as well he showed his a** and is on to the next one and with that I have to be confident walking away saying goodbye. This is her new song and my cousin heard it and played it for me she felt like the song just had a strong message and that my (H) could not go around treating people that way. I did not tell my family details about what happened but they know my character and (have their own speculations). Its not hard to figure out considering my mom seen him out with the OW in public a few weeks ago together etc... 

Lon,

Sorry to hear you feel Beyonce is toxic to marriage. She also has many love ballets that she has made in the past so....
I understand your comment about being cyncial but if you think about it anyone can use a variety of songs that are out there by other artist as well in a positive or negative way. Some songs help people get through various situations and that is simply that.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Good job d1221! My anniversary is in a week as well. Not really excited about it to say the least. I'll come back to this thread!

and wtf Beyonce? I had no idea she held such power.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

@d1221, picking up her CD as soon as I can ;o)


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

d1221, well I can't stand Beyonce right now cause my wife was a huge fan during this past year, as she was simultaneously "working on our marriage"(in her words), "doing the things she enjoys in life" (like 5 nights a week) and also "realizing that she checked out of the marriage over a year ago" (though she didn't admit this until AFTER her first PA and setting the stage for picking up guys at the club)

So you are right, it is unfair for me to generalize her songs, I just get so angry when I hear certain music and hers is at the top of the list.


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

That's inspiring to hear d1221. 
I could have used this thread a month ago when I was in house separating with H it was our anniversary and he said he didn't care about the day whatsoever. Darn him. Damn his soul. 



staircase said:


> and wtf Beyonce? I had no idea she held such power.


me neither!? I only listen to metal these days.
Kinda helps a little.


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