# Anyone have/had Mirena IUD?



## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

So, I went in to the Dr today (again) for excessive bleeding. I had a tubal ligation 3 years ago and things have just gone downhill since then with my lady cycles. 

I've taken 2 types of BC pills with no luck, and today the Dr. inserted Mirena. I also had a biopsy done...so double pain for insertion! And it did...hurt like hell...Yay. 

He said if this doesn't work, I will go in for a little surgery to burn out my lining...sounds fun.

I'm reading stuff online about Mirena. I'm scared as hell now and almost want to run back to the Dr and tell him never mind, take it out. 

The parts that scare me? Pain during sex and my H possibly being hurt during sex.

That is going to suck the fun right out of sex completely. We haven't had sex in 2 months due to a procedure he had done and my constant bleeding. We are both actively trying to get back to a normal sex life, but now I fear this might just throw me back a step again.

Has anyone had Mirena and had pain during or after sex? I will literally lay down and cry if one more thing hinders me from having sex and enjoying it. I'm about to go give myself a hysterectomy and be done with it.....kidding....


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Pain during sex. DH could feel it. Crazy making hormones. Did NOTHING to stop the bleeding. I don't understand why docs are so hesitant to do hysterectomies. They are very safe for a surgery. I guess no surgery is perfect. But man it is a great solution to the bleeding problem!

Sorry,  YMMV, so wait and see how it goes?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

I was given the option of Mirena or the "burning out the lining" which is called uterine ablation. I went for the uterine ablation, my Gyno told me it would flatten my uterus into a pancake and I said "oh good my tummy will be flatter", lol. The surgery was a Godsend for me, it was relatively painless, the biopsy I had 2 weeks before was much worse. After that my cycles are so light I barely even notice them. I went from barely leaving the house for 3 days a month to light spotting for 2 days with no cramps.

My girlfriend had a Mirena and it caused some issues for her, she swears it made her hair fall out. And her hair did shed and thin quite a bit but it stabilized. She also said her BF could sometimes feel it when they had sex. IDK if that is his imagination or not, she did say there is a filament that she has to check to make sure it is still there. 

What is scaring you about what you read online?


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> Pain during sex. DH could feel it. Crazy making hormones. Did NOTHING to stop the bleeding. I don't understand why docs are so hesitant to do hysterectomies. They are very safe for a surgery. I guess no surgery is perfect. But man it is a great solution to the bleeding problem!
> 
> Sorry,  YMMV, so wait and see how it goes?


Ugh I knew I shouldn't have done it!! I went with the BC pills at first because they were pushing Mirena before. I was on the pills for a year and they didn't work, so I finally caved and got it today. Now, I want to go back and tell them forget it. 

I don't know. This is starting to become a HUGE problem for my marriage and I just can't take anymore issues there. I just need my lady bits to corporate.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> I was given the option of Mirena or the "burning out the lining" which is called uterine ablation. I went for the uterine ablation, my Gyno told me it would flatten my uterus into a pancake and I said "oh good my tummy will be flatter", lol. The surgery was a Godsend for me, it was relatively painless, the biopsy I had 2 weeks before was much worse. After that my cycles are so light I barely even notice them. I went from barely leaving the house for 3 days a month to light spotting for 2 days with no cramps.
> 
> My girlfriend had a Mirena and it caused some issues for her, she swears it made her hair fall out. And her hair did shed and thin quite a bit but it stabilized. She also said her BF could sometimes feel it when they had sex. IDK if that is his imagination or not, she did say there is a filament that she has to check to make sure it is still there.
> 
> What is scaring you about what you read online?


Yep that's the next step. He wants me to give it 2-3 months and see how it goes. He said the strings should soften up and my H shouldn't have an issue. He also said that if my H could feel them, that he would be "impressed." But I'm reading that a lot of men can feel it and that it can hurt them sometimes. 

I googled Mirena reviews. I figured that's the best way I'm going to find out how many people it's not working for. So many women have said there is pain with or after sex. I want to enjoy sex, not worry about if I'm going to get hurt.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

staarz21 said:


> Yep that's the next step. He wants me to give it 2-3 months and see how it goes. He said the strings should soften up and my H shouldn't have an issue. He also said that if my H could feel them, that he would be "impressed." But I'm reading that a lot of men can feel it and that it can hurt them sometimes.
> 
> I googled Mirena reviews. I figured that's the best way I'm going to find out how many people it's not working for. So many women have said there is pain with or after sex. I want to enjoy sex, not worry about if I'm going to get hurt.




My .02, relax a bit. You have it in now so give it at least a month and see how it goes. Try not to read all the horror stories people don't usually get online to rave about their IUD's they are too busy enjoying a normal life again. 

My GF got used to hers after a while and is very happy. I got Uterine Ablation and am very happy with my choice. You always have that as an option.


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## mewiththree (Apr 15, 2016)

kristin2349 said:


> I was given the option of Mirena or the "burning out the lining" which is called uterine ablation. I went for the uterine ablation, my Gyno told me it would flatten my uterus into a pancake and I said "oh good my tummy will be flatter", lol. The surgery was a Godsend for me, it was relatively painless, the biopsy I had 2 weeks before was much worse. After that my cycles are so light I barely even notice them. I went from barely leaving the house for 3 days a month to light spotting for 2 days with no cramps.
> 
> My girlfriend had a Mirena and it caused some issues for her, she swears it made her hair fall out. And her hair did shed and thin quite a bit but it stabilized. She also said her BF could sometimes feel it when they had sex. IDK if that is his imagination or not, she did say there is a filament that she has to check to make sure it is still there.
> 
> What is scaring you about what you read online?


I had the ablation as well and am VERY happy. I had the Mirena "installed" at the same time as the surgery - and shortly afterwards noticed extreme hair loss and severe joint pain. I kept it in for four months and then had it removed. Hair loss gone, joint pain gone. I know it is great for some people, but not for me. And I tolerate all kinds of meds - no sensitivities. But it didn't affect libido nor did my husband feel it.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> My .02, relax a bit. You have it in now so give it at least a month and see how it goes. Try not to read all the horror stories people don't usually get online to rave about their IUD's they are too busy enjoying a normal life again.
> 
> My GF got used to hers after a while and is very happy. I got Uterine Ablation and am very happy with my choice. You always have that as an option.


You're right. I do need to just chill out on it for a bit. First signs of anything going sour though, and I'm waltzing myself in there and telling him to just burn it! Burn the uterus lol. Sounds scary, yet blissful all at the same time.

Everything has just been so messed up since my tubal and I regret ever getting it. I do not want more children, but all of the bleeding, pain, headaches, night sweats, trouble sleeping etc...just doesn't seem worth it. If I wanted all of those side effects, I would just have another kid :grin2:


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

mewiththree said:


> I had the ablation as well and am VERY happy. I had the Mirena "installed" at the same time as the surgery - and shortly afterwards noticed extreme hair loss and severe joint pain. I kept it in for four months and then had it removed. Hair loss gone, joint pain gone. I know it is great for some people, but not for me. And I tolerate all kinds of meds - no sensitivities. But it didn't affect libido nor did my husband feel it.


I have thing/fine hair already, I really hope that doesn't happen.

However, I am relieved to hear that on the sexual side of things, everything was okay. I will be happy as hell if this could be my solution! However, I am hearing some wonderful things about Ablations and how they've helped a lot of people. It will definitely be my next step. 

So, I sit and wait. I won't be able to have sex for another week I'm assuming and I'm going to be so scared. I just hope my H doesn't lose interest because of our stupid preconceived fears.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Has your doctor checked you for endometriosis?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

staarz21 said:


> *I have thing/fine hair already, I really hope that doesn't happen.
> *
> However, I am relieved to hear that on the sexual side of things, everything was okay. I will be happy as hell if this could be my solution! However, I am hearing some wonderful things about Ablations and how they've helped a lot of people. It will definitely be my next step.
> 
> So, I sit and wait. I won't be able to have sex for another week I'm assuming and I'm going to be so scared. I just hope my H doesn't lose interest because of our stupid preconceived fears.



Have you had your iron and ferritin levels checked? (the ferritin # is very important) When I was having heavy bleeding it made me critically anemic with very low ferritin. Turns out that anemia is one of the top 3 causes of hair loss and fine/thin hair in women. I had super thick hair, enough for 3 people until my anemia got bad. It took me 2 years to get my hair back after having iron infusions. If you have heavy periods get your iron checked with ferritin.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

karole said:


> Has your doctor checked you for endometriosis?


We did an ultrasound a few months ago to look for cysts on my Ovaries. Since my mother had ovarian cancer, I guess I have a slightly higher risk of getting it as well. The results showed that everything looked ok in there. That's also why I had the biopsy today. 

Other than that, I've not been checked for it. 

I'm not sure how they go about doing that. I've never thought about that being a possibility.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> Have you had your iron and ferritin levels checked? (the ferritin # is very important) When I was having heavy bleeding it made me critically anemic with very low ferritin. Turns out that anemia is one of the top 3 causes of hair loss and fine/thin hair in women. I had super thick hair, enough for 3 people until my anemia got bad. It took me 2 years to get my hair back after having iron infusions. If you have heavy periods get your iron checked with ferritin.


I haven't had the ferritin checked, I don't believe.

I was checked back in Jan. for iron and my levels were okay then. They told me to start taking an iron supplement just in case and I have been taking it. I never feel faint or dizzy....just tired mostly, but I'm not sleeping well from the night sweats and heavy bleeding....so that's probably why I'm tried.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

staarz21 said:


> I haven't had the ferritin checked, I don't believe.
> 
> I was checked back in Jan. for iron and my levels were okay then. They told me to start taking an iron supplement just in case and I have been taking it. I never feel faint or dizzy....just tired mostly, but I'm not sleeping well from the night sweats and heavy bleeding....so that's probably why I'm tried.



OK, I tell everyone I know that still has a period to get their ferritin levels checked. I was told mine would be fine after the ablation and they weren't I was diagnosed critically anemic during my separation and ended up having to get iron infusions at a chemo clinic after losing a ton of hair. I literally thought I'd end up bald, and newly single:surprise: Thankfully my hair is great again, but I know a few people that were not so lucky.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> OK, I tell everyone I know that still has a period to get their ferritin levels checked. I was told mine would be fine after the ablation and they weren't I was diagnosed critically anemic during my separation and ended up having to get iron infusions at a chemo clinic after losing a ton of hair. I literally thought I'd end up bald, and newly single:surprise: Thankfully my hair is great again, but I know a few people that were not so lucky.


OMG! That's horrible. Thankfully, everything worked out okay for you in the end!

When they call for my results of the biopsy, I will ask if I can run over to the clinic and have it checked!


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

staarz21 said:


> OMG! That's horrible. Thankfully, everything worked out okay for you in the end!
> 
> When they call for my results of the biopsy, I will ask if I can run over to the clinic and have it checked!



I don't want to alarm you but I wish someone had told me. It was pretty horrible, they say it is "just hair" but when I was getting my infusions the cancer patients getting chemo all told me that losing their hair was one on of the hardest parts of their cancer. I was grateful that I was not there for chemo and those kind ladies were giving me sympathy! It was truly humbling.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

staarz21 said:


> So, I went in to the Dr today (again) for excessive bleeding. I had a tubal ligation 3 years ago and things have just gone downhill since then with my lady cycles.
> 
> I've taken 2 types of BC pills with no luck, and today the Dr. inserted Mirena. I also had a biopsy done...so double pain for insertion! And it did...hurt like hell...Yay.
> 
> ...


My wife who has never had excessive bleeding or any other problems is now on her 2nd Mirena. She has never had any pain during sex or any other problems with them either and has retained her sex drive.

The only noticeable change has been she doesn't get her periods anymore. I have also not been hurt by her having a Mirena either and despite being above average I've not felt it at all.

That said your experience may be different, anyway I hope it works as well for you as it has for us.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> I don't want to alarm you but I wish someone had told me. It was pretty horrible, they say it is "just hair" but when I was getting my infusions the cancer patients getting chemo all told me that losing their hair was one on of the hardest parts of their cancer. I was grateful that I was not there for chemo and those kind ladies were giving me sympathy! It was truly humbling.




Wow those ladies sound amazing! I could imagine that losing a lot of hair would be almost traumatizing for some. It would be for me. All of that time I've spent trying to get my self esteem back up would be down the toilet if it is something that happens. 

I do appreciate stories told. I wish I had known that so many women have issues after tubals. That's the whole reason I've been googling to death. I had always thought it was a relatively safe thing and the more I read, the more I think they need to look into it. I wish I had looked it all up before and I would have thought twice about my decision at the time.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Personal said:


> My wife who has never had excessive bleeding or any other problems is now on her 2nd Mirena. She has never had any pain during sex or any other problems with them either and has retained her sex drive.
> 
> The only noticeable change has been she doesn't get her periods anymore. I have also not been hurt by her having a Mirena either and despite being above average I've not felt it at all.
> 
> That said your experience may be different, anyway I hope it works as well for you as it has for us.


This is what I'm hoping for! I don't want H to get hurt and I don't want to hurt. 

I realize everyone is different, but it is good to know that it's working well for some people. The more I read about it, the more I think it's improper placement of the Mirena in most of the cases. Other times, the body seems to almost reject it. 

I've never had an issue with any medications or anything, so maybe this will be my solution. The goal is to lighten or get rid of my periods completely. So, I will just wait it out and see, thank you for sharing!! :smile2:


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

staarz21 said:


> Wow those ladies sound amazing! I could imagine that losing a lot of hair would be almost traumatizing for some. It would be for me.* All of that time I've spent trying to get my self esteem back up would be down the toilet if it is something that happens. *
> 
> I do appreciate stories told. I wish I had known that so many women have issues after tubals. That's the whole reason I've been googling to death. I had always thought it was a relatively safe thing and the more I read, the more I think they need to look into it. I wish I had looked it all up before and I would have thought twice about my decision at the time.


You nailed it sister, I got cheated on with a 29 year old! Then my hair starts falling out in clumps. I thought it was the stress. My hair was/is my favorite thing about my appearance. My hair stylists has always said I had Jennifer Aniston hair. I'm so grateful it is coming back. 

Anyway back to you, when you ask for your ferritin to be checked, you'll likely be told "your iron/hemoglobin" is fine...Ask if they have your actual ferritin reading, if they don't tell them you'd like it checked. The "optimal" # for your overall health is between 70-100. The "normal" lab value is between 15 and 349! So you can have very low ferritin and still be told it is "normal". You need it for proper thyroid function and I think I mentioned healthy hair a few times. I am just superficial that way.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> You nailed it sister, I got cheated on with a 29 year old! Then my hair starts falling out in clumps. I thought it was the stress. My hair was/is my favorite thing about my appearance. My hair stylists has always said I had Jennifer Aniston hair. I'm so grateful it is coming back.
> 
> Anyway back to you, when you ask for your ferritin to be checked, you'll likely be told "your iron/hemoglobin" is fine...Ask if they have your actual ferritin reading, if they don't tell them you'd like it checked. The "optimal" # for your overall health is between 70-100. The "normal" lab value is between 15 and 349! So you can have very low ferritin and still be told it is "normal". You need it for proper thyroid function and I think I mentioned healthy hair a few times. I am just superficial that way.



Lol wow that's a huge number gap! I will spend some time today combing my lab results. I get access to all of my medical records online, so I will check that out!


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

FrenchFry said:


> I love my Mirena and I'm also on my second one without regrets.
> 
> 
> I don't get periods, but I do get twinges around when my period is supposed to come and they can be a little painful.
> ...


I'm happy to hear this! Today, I went digging around in there (lol) to feel the strings. They feel a little stiff, kind of weird, but I don't think it's going to be a big issue for H. After we put the kids to bed, I will probably take a shower with him and let him feel them so that he can get a better of idea of what's going on in there. He said he's all game for it! ha!


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

AVR1962 said:


> Starr, I am 53 and have been thru all of what you have indicated and the past 2 years+ has been absolutely awful to say the very least. I feel for what you are going thru. I will tell you what did and did not help me. I tried changing my diet to more greens and certain veggies like cauliflower with little red meat and a good watch on the carbs. Felt better but it did not change the heavy bleeding. The diet was to balance hormones. I had all the tests, biopsy done and had a clean bill of health. I tried the Merina and I ended up being nauseous, felt like I was 3 months pg, I gained 5 lbs, I was having sugar cravings and headaches. I had it removed. Docs decided since I didn't smoke and was not over weight that they would put me on the Pill (Loestrin). I bloated up, started retaining water and then I started feeling pain the the veins of my left leg which scared me so I went off that. Saw a vein specialist who determined that the Pill created a phlebitis in my leg. I finally went to a natural doctor. I was done with medical docs, they kept telling me this was normal but the last month I dealt with heavy bleeding I went 32 days and yet they were saying it was normal and giving me prescripts for iron to help with the anemia which caused problems all of its own.
> 
> The natural doc put my on an herbal remedy called Women's Gold by Kroeger Herb which you can find online. I take 2 capsules morning and night....huge huge difference!!!!!!! She also wanted to detox my system of the hormones as if you read estrogen can cause havoc in the bloody. If the body becomes estrogen heavy it can lead to heavy bleeding but can cause certain cancers. I have had hot flashes for the past 3 years and was needing to find something for that as well. I use a progesterone cream but you can also buy on the internet. Use a dab at night, rub in into different areas of your boy each night and I have found this has helped me with the hot flashes and my anxiety that I was dealing with.



Oh wow! All of that sounds so awful! I'm sorry you went through it!

I was on the patch a long time ago and it made me like a crazy person. My H thought I was literally going nuts. 

This time the low dose pills, I didn't notice any changes, but it didn't help with the bleeding, bloating, headaches, or cramping.

So, when they switched me to the higher dose pill, I started to feel crazy again like on the patch. My moods were everywhere.

We've learned that increasing my Estrogen is NOT a good idea. Makes me nuts. 

So far I feel fine with the Mirena. I'm not really cramping that much and I think what cramping I am having is from the biopsy they took. Oh mah gawd that hurt. 

So, hopefully this helps! Thank you for the suggestions on the natural remedies. I have been looking more into some natural supplements to maybe help with my moods.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

FrenchFry said:


> Since we are deep into TMI territory--
> 
> The strings eventually soften up and find a place to settle. Mine curled all the way up and lodged themselves into a ball at the top of cervix to the point that at the re-up, my gyn had to spend a bit of time "fishing" to get them out.
> 
> ...


I'm so glad you mentioned this! None of this stuff seems TMI to me! I think we need to talk about the weird parts of it more, personally! 

I actually did go and check today to see how/where they were in there. I guess they are about an inch or two in - well one is anyway I didn't want to be digging around forever to see if there were 2 or if they were just stuck together... ( :laugh: ) It's just hanging straight down. It didn't seem uncomfortable for me to be poking around in there. I could definitely feel it, but didn't seem like something that was going to bother H too much when we get to have sex again. 

On the brighter side, I've already almost stopped bleeding. I know that could be a short lived thing. My Dr told me things would be weird for a bit, but over time, the periods will taper off to almost nothing or nothing at all. That would be a miracle for me. I could finally live a life without having to take 2-3 days off a month to do nothing but lay on the couch and go to the bathroom every 40 mins. bleh.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Im on my second mirena and have mostly loved it. I had super heavy long periods before and since my orginal mirena settled in 6 yrs ago, I havent had a real period since. Maybe occasional spotting 2 times a year at worst. Occasionally I get some cramping or slight pain but nothing compared to what I had during pms. The only side effect that I had was acne for a year or so, but eventually that went away. 

I will say it did take some time for the mirena to settle in fully maybe 6 months-ish. The second mirena that I have gotten had no adjustment time whats so ever for me.

As far as sex goes, I will say they 2 partners that I had that were well endowed did occasionally feel the strings but it didnt bother them. The more average partner that I have now this has never been a issue. Give the strings sometime to soften up, most likely they will wrap around your cervix.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I've opted not to get an IUD because hormonal birth control (i.e. pills) makes me bleed ALL the time instead of controlling the bleeding. My identical twin had the ablation in December and so far has loved it (she chose that over hysterectomy). She does get cramps still but I think that's probably better than all the bleeding. 

I think I'd do the ablation over IUD any day.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

unsure78 said:


> Im on my second mirena and have mostly loved it. I had super heavy long periods before and since my orginal mirena settled in 6 yrs ago, I havent had a real period since. Maybe occasional spotting 2 times a year at worst. Occasionally I get some cramping or slight pain but nothing compared to what I had during pms. The only side effect that I had was acne for a year or so, but eventually that went away.
> 
> I will say it did take some time for the mirena to settle in fully maybe 6 months-ish. The second mirena that I have gotten had no adjustment time whats so ever for me.
> 
> As far as sex goes, I will say they 2 partners that I had that were well endowed did occasionally feel the strings but it didnt bother them. The more average partner that I have now this has never been a issue. Give the strings sometime to soften up, most likely they will wrap around your cervix.


This is good to know, thank you! I figure there would be some adjustment time and maybe some unwanted side effects at first. Everything I read about says to give it time so that you can adjust. 

Did you ever have any pain during or after sex?


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I've opted not to get an IUD because hormonal birth control (i.e. pills) makes me bleed ALL the time instead of controlling the bleeding. My identical twin had the ablation in December and so far has loved it (she chose that over hysterectomy). She does get cramps still but I think that's probably better than all the bleeding.
> 
> I think I'd do the ablation over IUD any day.


Yeah, that's definitely my next choice if this goes sour. I had only just found out about it yesterday at the Dr.'s office. He didn't go into great detail, but mentioned that it does help a lot of women, they just don't do it as first choice at this hospital. I guess because it's a "surgical" procedure, even if it is inpatient.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Ooookkkkaaay, well I lied about my H and I showering and such so he could feel the strings and kind of get to know what was going on in there. I thought it could turn into a fun thing. 

I offered for us to fool around before the shower. I can't have sex yet due to the biopsy yesterday, but I offered for us to fool around in other ways. We've not had sex or anything in 2 months because he had a procedure done and I had the heavy bleeding and cramping and now the biopsy. I am feeling much better and he's healed, so I thought it would be fun. eh...wrong! 

His expression? He didn't even look at me. He said, "Yeah, I guess." while watching TV. He said nothing else. 

I asked him about it after dinner and he just said that he didn't think about it one way or another. I asked him if he was uncomfortable. He didn't answer me. Then after he realizes my feelings are hurt, he says, "Yeah, I just didn't want to seem too excited..." 

uh wtf? 

So, we're not fooling around tonight. This isn't unusual for him. Before his procedure, he did the same thing. He would brush off having sex with me or fooling around. So...yeah, awesome. I'm so over trying to have a happy marriage. I would much rather live by myself with my kids than have to constantly be let down by him in one way or another. He KNEW I was putting myself out there after the several denials of sex before by him. Officially done. Add me to the list of statistics. woo..hoo...

Sorry...rant over.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Well, I didn't want the hormones so I went with a copper IUD. Didn't realise you could get copper toxicity from them at the time. Live and learn. No pain during sex though.

A lady I know had a Mirena IUD and when they went to take it out, the strings weren't there. She ended up having to get surgery to have it removed. As far as I know there were no other complications such as pain during sex though.


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## RainbowBrite (Dec 30, 2015)

staarz21 said:


> Ooookkkkaaay, well I lied about my H and I showering and such so he could feel the strings and kind of get to know what was going on in there. I thought it could turn into a fun thing.
> 
> I offered for us to fool around before the shower.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry Staarz.  

Sometimes it seems like an epidemic of sexual apathy. No fun.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

staarz21 said:


> So, we're not fooling around tonight. This isn't unusual for him. Before his procedure, he did the same thing. He would brush off having sex with me or fooling around. So...yeah, awesome. I'm so over trying to have a happy marriage. I would much rather live by myself with my kids than have to constantly be let down by him in one way or another. He KNEW I was putting myself out there after the several denials of sex before by him. Officially done. Add me to the list of statistics. woo..hoo...
> 
> Sorry...rant over.


Don't lose hope. You may need to just pull back for a bit to recoup and let him make the next move, if and when he chooses to do so. It may be that when he notices you aren't making the effort, he'll step up.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

staarz21 said:


> Ooookkkkaaay, well I lied about my H and I showering and such so he could feel the strings and kind of get to know what was going on in there. I thought it could turn into a fun thing.
> 
> I offered for us to fool around before the shower. I can't have sex yet due to the biopsy yesterday, but I offered for us to fool around in other ways. We've not had sex or anything in 2 months because he had a procedure done and I had the heavy bleeding and cramping and now the biopsy. I am feeling much better and he's healed, so I thought it would be fun. eh...wrong!
> 
> ...


I'm sorry staarz21 that must really hurt, I think it's such a shame that some spouses don't want to be sexually intimate with their partners.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Thanks all. I'm better this morning. I'm up before everyone else and I have some time alone to sort of reflect. I thought things would get better between us, but I'm the only one trying. It's not from lack of talking, because omg I talk and talk and talk. I talked to him last night. All I get are "I don't know." or "I didn't mean it that way." but he never tells me exactly what's wrong. 

In other, less depressing news, I have stopped bleeding completely. Nothing hurts. Don't have to worry with if sex is going to hurt or not...ain't having it...har, har...Lol at least I can laugh about it.


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## Yui Ortega (Mar 21, 2016)

staarz21 said:


> So, I went in to the Dr today (again) for excessive bleeding. I had a tubal ligation 3 years ago and things have just gone downhill since then with my lady cycles.
> 
> I've taken 2 types of BC pills with no luck, and today the Dr. inserted Mirena. I also had a biopsy done...so double pain for insertion! And it did...hurt like hell...Yay.
> 
> ...


I have had Mirena in for 9 months and my H nor I experience any pain. I actually love the thing I barely have periods and when I do the are very light like mostly spotting the last time I had my menstrual cycle was like in January . I love it haven't had any bad experience as of yet and recommend it to my friends all the time. No periods its like the best gift my obgyn could have ever given me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I am on my third Mirena Mirena. I am 47 and who knows? This may be my last one. I have had zero issues with each one. No pain during sex, and the best part is, absolutely no bleeding! The Mirena has been a godsend for me and I've had zero issues with it. I hope that holds true for you, too.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I have the Copper non-hormonal paragard IUD.. 9 + years now.. outside of the large cramp putting it in days after having my last C-section... and 2 periods heavier than normal (which I was told to expect), I haven't had any issues.. I love my IUD ! these can stay in up to 12 yrs.. by then I'll probably be in menopause.. 

I read the pros & cons of all the birth controls before choosing what I did.. they all have some risk... some we may be more comfortable saying "What are the odds?"... then we read something else and it's "NO, not worth the risk!" (I felt this way about many -why the copper IUD always stood out to me -once I was done having kids)

I recall reading the statistics are higher for a hysterectomy after a Tubal ligation & I had a # of friends who seem to need one after a few years of getting it done...could be pure coincidence - but still it scared me off... I figured the risk of perforation of the my uterus was a better option (rarely happens) - thinking "what are the odds!"...

It's good they have many options out there.. sounds things have calmed down after the insertion of the Mirena @staarz21 .... you may find you love this birth control.. I never wanted this one due to the hormones, plus needing replaced after 5 yrs...I'd much rather have normal periods.. But again.. everyone's needs are different..


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