# Need help fast!



## unimaginal pain (Oct 15, 2008)

My wife and I are going on our first date since our new start this Sat. I can do the same old dinner and a movie but would like to really blow her away. Ladies please help me! (guys too!) Any suggestions for the date of the century??? We live in the Seattle area if that helps.
Thanks!


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

Congrats on rebuilding things! A date is a great way to start. What about going to see a comedy show? It's more interactive than a movie, and I'm sure there are some good spots in Seattle. Or, go bowling or something. Something besides sitting silently in a dark theater.

I don't know that you need to make it the date of the century - just go and have some fun together. Takes a little pressure off. 

Good luck and have fun!


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

have you seen the film sleepless in seattle.
theres an idea and its based on a movie. so thats your movie!


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

unimaginal pain said:


> Any suggestions for the date of the century??? We live in the Seattle area if that helps.
> Thanks!


good! dare nigts really open things up. good luck!

date of the century? go down to the Narrows bridge and climb up on the suspension spans and walk up them to the top (noooo, i'm kidding, but i did it with my first wife in 1981. got arrested! none of her previous boyfriends did it, though)

don't even try to make it a "date of the century" though. it wont work and you're setting yourself up for disappointment. just ENJOY YOURSELF! your date will want to see YOU having FUN.

the comedy club thing is a great suggestion. or try this: is "GET SMART" still in theaters up there? go to that. it's stupid, brainless comedy. i laughed the whole way through it. but that's just me.

oh, and watch it with alcohol. nasty things can happen.


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## unimaginal pain (Oct 15, 2008)

Thanks for the ideas...it has been suggested that we go ice skating which I liked that idea. What do you ladies think about that? A movie doesn't promote talking so I want to avoid that...after all our problems started because we didn't talk. I guess I shouldn't have said date of the century...just wanted some ideas out of the same ol boring stuff.
V great idea but I DO NOT like heights...I'd end up needing the fire dept to rescue me...not very manly having the fire dept on your date!


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

UP--
i've heard the exact same thing about why NOT to go to a movie. ice skating yes! seattle area, where'd you find ice? i usta live in south tacoma and we had a couple of cool rinks.

i did not want to read in the news about how some lovestruck dum dum climbed narrows bridge...thanks!!


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## cheewagacheewaga (Aug 28, 2008)

Married people still date? 

Go to the space needle and have dinner up there? Wouldn't it be romantic-like? Never been to Seattle, unfortunately.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

cheewagacheewaga said:


> Married people still date?
> 
> Go to the space needle and have dinner up there? Wouldn't it be romantic-like? Never been to Seattle, unfortunately.


the restaurant up there used to be 5 star. it's a little touristy now. it's cool too, it makes one revolution per hour, giving you a 360 degree view of the puget sound in an hour.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

cheewagacheewaga said:


> Married people still date?



My wife and I date every week. Once you are married you can't let dating go. You need to keep from falling into the mundane.

draconis


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

unimaginal pain said:


> ..it has been suggested that we go ice skating which I liked that idea. What do you ladies think about that?


I dont like going ice skating on 'first dates' b/c i cant dress very flirty, and i get bored going in circles. 

something fun is swing dancing. i dont know about seattle but a couple of the states ive lived in have clubs that do lessons prior to the dancing. i dont know if that's too much for a 'first date.' 

it really just depends on what she likes. but i agree with others that you shouldnt try to blow her out of the water. just show her your fun side, and that you are interested in her again and want to get to know her, in a flirty kinda mysterious sort of way.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Well if it is not to cold there or rainy, How about a nice Picnic on the beach? If your lucky it will be a clear night with a bright moon.

But get a bottle of wine, some nice sandwiches or other picnic type food, some glasses, A blanket.

Can you have a fire ont he beach? Maybe wine over a fire? 

Think outside of the box.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

good stuff! picnic on the beach! how close are you guys to south puget sound? there is a romantic driftwood coated sandy beach at ther ferry in steilacoom. it's beautiful there. then take her on a walk at western state hospital on steilacoom lake. perfect for halloween! you can be two little kids! want directions? PM me!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

For me personally anything too romantic on a date like this one would be too much. It would feel like things were moving too fast.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> For me personally anything too romantic on a date like this one would be too much. It would feel like things were moving too fast.


i'm in the same situation. so as nov 10th approaches (day of our next "date") remind me of what you said in this post...

but...

take I5 south to the steilacoom dupont exit, go west off the offramp (should be a right) then drive several miles thru the most beautiful forest you'll ever see. the trees cover the roadway, blocking out al the moonlight. that road will spit you out righ at the ferry dock. park, get out, gather some driftwood, check your pocket to make sure you brought your lighter...walk down to the beach, and light your campfire. you'll probably have a few lookie loo's checking you out. the ferry goes out to the prison on the island. you'll see the lights. may encounter a train rolling along the sound. it's pretty down there. 

when you're done there on the beach, hike back to the car, hop in and drive north on steilacoom blvd. look for the cross street named "lakes blvd." when you cross that intersection you're almost there, you'll see an industrial looking building on your left. that's the "new" western state hospital (asylum). across the street (on your right) there's a big old field. it'll turn into a park, with softball fields visible at the intersection, take a right where the softball fields are, that'll take you to the entrance to the park where steilacoom lake is at, there are walking trails that lead up the hil to the "old" delapidated western state hospital is at. haunting! fun! where a kid can be a kid!

do me a favor. this is where my old girlfriend and i used to go. this is the girl that just recently "showed up" in my life after 26 years. i passed on any potential advances by her, no worries. anyway, one of "our" songs, play it for me:

YouTube - Skid Row-I Remember You

she was such a romantic. she asked me to make a choice between her and my soon to be (at the time) first wife. i chose to go with my bride across the country to take my first radio gig. 26 years ago! Lane told me "if things don't work out, or even if they do, you'd better hire a detective and find me and let me know how you are." this was the only girl, other than my wife, that i ever loved

anyway,play it for lane miller, this one's for you. how things could've been. maybe something gets ignited for you two!


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

unimaginal pain said:


> Thanks for the ideas...it has been suggested that we go ice skating which I liked that idea. What do you ladies think about that? A movie doesn't promote talking so I want to avoid that...after all our problems started because we didn't talk. I guess I shouldn't have said date of the century...just wanted some ideas out of the same ol boring stuff.
> V great idea but I DO NOT like heights...I'd end up needing the fire dept to rescue me...not very manly having the fire dept on your date!


yeh but its not something youwould forget then:rofl:

ah you wil find what is right for you.
i hope you have a lovely time.
but i agree staying away from something i. e the movie that you felt was a problem before.
i like that analysis of yourself. thats progress


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## unimaginal pain (Oct 15, 2008)

Thanks so much everyone...I really needed EVERYTHING you all have done for me. Because of this site i actually "heard" what my wife has been trying to tell me for a long time and I can already see things turning the corner....and believe it or not I actually enjoy helping her with things around the house ect...We were out last night in her car and I noticed the gas was low so when we got home I asked her to take care of our son (get him ready for bed) while I took care of some stuff outside...I ran her car down to the gas station and filled it up. No big deal right???(of coarse I never would have done this before) When I got back she was out in our driveway wondering what I was up to...now in my plan I wasn't going to tell her, just let her see in the morning that she didn't need gas but when I pulled up she asked what I was doing and I told her what I did and you could see in her eyes what it meant to her..... I'm glad it turned out that way so I could see it! Why did it take this horrible thing to happen for me to see the easy, little things that she needs? Still having "nightmares" about what happened and struggling with the trust issues but we are seeing a counselor on a weekly basis and have addressed this with her so hopefully there is an end in site. Trying REALLY hard to be positive when I'm with my wife, I just don't see the point in taking these things out on her anymore...what will that gain me, gain us? One of the excersizes the counselor had us do last session was look at each other and each one talks for 2 minutes while the other just listens...no facial expressions or words. Man, what a great thing! My wifes BIG HUGE WALL came down at that very moment and she was absolutely beautiful. The only other time she has looked that good to me was on our wedding day. I got to tell her this and it was amazing....I can't wait till all the bad feelings are gone for both of us so we can enjoy completely the new way of living we are learning!
Anyways...I am struggling a little bit between the ice skating or a comedy show...I think i'll go to the ice areana and tell her if she really doesn't want to do it that I have a back up plan and go to a comedy show. There are several in our area...good or bad idea??????
V I really appreciate you ideas and have been to where your talking about but unfortunately it is way to far for a Sat night date for us...we are about an hour north of Seattle not to mention that it is way to cold now for the beach here....wife is from the south and can't get warm here in the summer time! 
J your right...that would make a very memorable date however I would hate to be put in jail after I pee'd my pants from the height!:slap:


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

havent you seen mythbusters.
no your not a good candidate for this height thing. especially if your into peeing your pants. 
youd probably get electrocuted.
it was proved on mythbusters, you can get electrocuted from peeing on an electric line - 
i can just see it now. 
the whole city has its lights turned of because MR unimaginal pain got a fear of heights.
well i had a laugh at your expense. xx


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

unimaginal pain said:


> One of the excersizes the counselor had us do last session was look at each other and each one talks for 2 minutes while the other just listens...no facial expressions or words. Man, what a great thing! My wifes BIG HUGE WALL came down at that very moment



YEAH!!!!!!! YAY!!!! you didn't need a counselor for that!!!! WE SHOULD'VE BEEN DOING IT ALL ALONG!!!




unimaginal pain said:


> Anyways...I am struggling a little bit between the ice skating or a comedy show...I think i'll go to the ice areana and tell her if she really doesn't want to do it that I have a back up plan and go to a comedy show. There are several in our area...good or bad idea??????


wait til she takes a dive...say "ouch, that must've hurt...you know i read somewhere that laughter is the best medicine..follow me."
then skate off the ice, put on your shoes, head to the car, reminding her that laughter is the best medicine. then hit the comedy club. she'll get a kick outta that.

Comedy show is a great idea. we just went to see Jim Gaffigan a couple weeks ago. it was great! and we got along wonderfully before, during, and after with no pressure to perform.


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## unimaginal pain (Oct 15, 2008)

mom I don't know if she likes ice skating, we have never done it before(I played hockey growing up but I don't know if she has ever done it before) Just thought it was something completely out of the ordinary. V I like your thinking.
Thanks everyone


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## unimaginal pain (Oct 15, 2008)

justean said:


> havent you seen mythbusters.
> no your not a good candidate for this height thing. especially if your into peeing your pants.
> youd probably get electrocuted.
> it was proved on mythbusters, you can get electrocuted from peeing on an electric line -
> ...



:rofl:


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## *Aceso* (Oct 25, 2008)

I was just going to say, it's not the place or things you do but company that counts. 
Anyway, the best thing to do to make sure you have a great date
1. Make her breakfast in bed on Saturday morning. She'll love you for it.
2. Send her some flowers with a card saying "Really looking forward to our date tonight. ....."
3. Tell her she looks beautiful before you leave the house.
4. Remember to open doors for her.

After all, it's little things that make big difference, right? 
Have fun!


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

If you want to blow her socks off, then how about a helicopter ride over a big city? Do you live near/in a big city? To me, a helicopter ride is a date of the century.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

loveandmarriage said:


> If you want to blow her socks off, then how about a helicopter ride over a big city? Do you live near/in a big city? To me, a helicopter ride is a date of the century.


hes scared of heights and he might pee .

if he were my date and i knew this, ive have to have a date on the ground and away from all cable lines. 
go to the centre of the biggest park you can find and do not shade under trees. :rofl:


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

yes that last message was intended as a joke.

as for mythbusters, they play a huge part of tv entertainment in our home. the kids love the stuff they do and the science behind it.
it really is all about learning. 
we love em.

oh mr unimaginal pain - my H suggested go and c the crab boats in the seattle harbour. the boats from the programme deadliest catch.
u might see captain phil .

we love that programme too.


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## TGolbus (Nov 3, 2008)

Great to hear you are back dating....

Remember - it is best to have the date be meaningful and sincere then expensive....
Also - get a regular babysitter and make this a weekly thing. The rule should be the date is strictly about being together (no talk of kids, running erands, etc).

And YES married people still do date (even after 10 years for us)!!!!


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## unimaginal pain (Oct 15, 2008)

TGolbus said:


> Great to hear you are back dating....
> 
> Remember - it is best to have the date be meaningful and sincere then expensive....
> Also - get a regular babysitter and make this a weekly thing. The rule should be the date is strictly about being together (no talk of kids, running erands, etc).
> ...


That is the plan. 
Unfortunately we didn't get to go. My wife suffers from migraines and wouldn't you know it Sat morning she woke up with one lingering and by 1 pm it hit full force. She was very appologetic and in fact was still going to go and I said no. We still had a great weekend together making pretty big strides in our communication.
Justeen I can do planes and helicoptors without peeing as long as I don't look straight down so ..... ha! So there!!!!!:smthumbup: Thanks for the suggestion L & M...thats a good one! We to love Deadliest Catch too but you go to the locks once and thats all you need...pretty boring after that.
Aceso I'm a step ahead of you but thanks....the small things really do make a difference...something that I have recently learned!


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