# Financially confused- our home



## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

ok so im confused and need opinions on this:

We bought our first home last yr in May 2009 and qualified for the first time home buyers credit (8k) well, the penalty for selling your home before the 3 yr mark is that the gov. will require you pay back the 8k. I have bee in the home 1.5 yrs. I didnt realize this and texted my H telling him about this glitch in his "plan to "not have the responsibility of marriage"

Another thing is that I cant afford the home myself and will need assistance in paying the mortage because right now the house wont sell... 2. its valued just short of what we bought it for and 3. if we sell we owe 8k. 

If we decide to suck it up and he agrees to pay for some of the mortgage for another yr and a half, will that be considered Spousal support or can that be waived since we don't want to have to dig deep in our pockets to pay 8k?

I'm very confused as to what to do in this case... and kinda freaking out! lol any advice will help!


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## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

Don't take the advice of a bunch of random people on a message board. See a lawyer. This is way too important to mess around with.

And don't see just anyone. Go to someone who specializes in contested divorce. (A lawyer who says that he or she works in a zillion areas, plus divorce, is probably not someone you want. Go to a specialist--maybe someone who has expertise in divorce with sticky real estate problems.) 

Seeing a lawyer doesn't mean you're committed to divorce, or that you're getting ready to attack your spouse. It just means you're educating yourself on what you could expect, in case you have to go through with a divorce.

After you meet with a lawyer (or two, or three--it always helps to have a second or third opinion), let us know how it goes. Good luck.


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## Chasing Rainbows (Oct 9, 2010)

Hi Shelly, I agree with sbbs you do really need to consult with a lawyer at this stage. A specialist divorce lawyer will be familiar with your situation as they have seen it all before and will be able to advise you. 

I was reluctant to speak to a lawyer to start with as I felt that by doing this it would ruin any chances of him changing his mind and coming back. However, I realised that I am in this situation and he is not coming back so I needed to take advice or else the way things were going I would end up with nothing. It is nice to have someone on board who is looking after your interests. They are not out to 'get' the other party but are there to work out what is fair for the both of you within the law. 

Over here, lawyers offer free hour chats before you sign up with them so you could speak to a few and get a feel for the ones you feel you could work with. Good luck and keep us posted on how you get on


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

Shelly, Not only should you talk to a lawyer, but do some research online about your options. In today's market, the bank will not want you to default on the loan, so they may make a hardship allowance. Look at the available govt programs for mortgage modifications.

So sorry about this given the hard position you are already in. 

Do you or your husband have 401k investments? If so, this definately qualifies as a hardship withdrawal condition in most states. I know most people would have a hard time with messing with their retirement, but this is what hardship withdrawals are for.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I agree that you need to see a divorce lawyer, but I also think a real estate or tax attorney would be a good idea too. Sometimes there are loopholes in those credits that allow for situations like this (not all the time, so don't get too excited), and a real estate or tax attorney would, I think, be more suited to telling you if there's any loopholes you can take advantage of, while the divorce lawyer will be able to help you figure out the hows and whys of spousal support and paying back what you would owe the gov't if you do sell the house. 

Good luck and I hope it all works out for the best for you.


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