# Books/Ebooks for Child Discipline and Raising



## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

I was hoping this forum had some stickie threads on good child rearing books... and im not even sure what to search to find what im looking for.

We have a 5 year old who is becoming difficult to handle. Like all kids he just takes his sweet ass time with everything and gets very combatative when we try to progress forward... some examples:
- Getting him to school on time... he will fight and not want to stop playing, or take FOREVER to put on clothes.. Have to ask him about 4-5 times to put his boots on before he does anything
- Getting out of the bath is another problem

Yelling just results in him yelling back... mostly because he yells "stop yelling" because he is highly emotional and gets frightened when we yell. I also put him in time-out when he passes a certain threshold... or hits his mother out of anger.

I am kind of running out of patience. *I know MOST of this is typical kid stuff*.. im just looking for some new perspectives or tactics to make it easier on him and me. *I dont want to have to yell multiple times a day or threaten time out this often.*

Any good book suggestions?


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Subscribe to the Super Nanny channel on YouTube. Some of the best child rearing advice for especially difficult children. Good authoritative parenting strategies and teaching parents to form a unified front.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Satya said:


> Subscribe to the Super Nanny channel on YouTube. Some of the best child rearing advice for especially difficult children. Good authoritative parenting strategies and teaching parents to form a unified front.


Thanks, i remember that show and enjoyed it... she was good... 
I just watched a clip that is a PERFECT example (stalling forever before eating dinner) - but the clip doesnt have any answers... I dont have time to watch a bunch of videos without answers... not enough value for time


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Steve2.0 said:


> Thanks, i remember that show and enjoyed it... she was good...
> I just watched a clip that is a PERFECT example (stalling forever before eating dinner) - but the clip doesnt have any answers... I dont have time to watch a bunch of videos without answers... not enough value for time


The channel has a combination of shorts and full episodes, and sometimes the "related" videos show similar situations with solutions.

Super Nanny has a very common formula:
- Kneel at the child's level.
- Speak directly to the child in a low, strong tone of voice.
- Say exactly what is not allowed or ____ (enter consequence for misbehaving).
- Exact consequence when misbehavior occurs. Consequence is either: a naughty corner, a naughty chair, a naughty couch (a "naughty" place).
- Every time the child leaves that area after misbehaving, parent puts child back there with NO TALKING.
- Eventually child gets worn out. Once the time out is over (Super Nanny says one minute of time out per every year of age typically), then parent goes up to the child, gets down to his/her level. Repeats what they did that was wrong/bad, why it was bad, and asks for an apology if they want to leave the naughty place.
- Child is not allowed to leave naughty place unless a serious apology is given (must look parent in the eye and apologize). 
- Follow-up is a hug and back to normal life.

Rinse and repeat until the lesson is learned.


ETA: I found this clip that was on the channel. Is this the example you meant? There was some resolution in this one toward the end.






Here's another one on her discipline techniques (including disciplining a parent):


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## msrv23 (Jul 14, 2017)

There are some gems that can be found at Quora. For example how we can give kids two options they can choose to do but must do so that they will be more compliant, like “do you want x or y shoes?” so they wear shoes anyways.
Some parents would leave the house with the kid not fully dressed so they learn to dress in time to avoid embarassment.
For eating, I’ve seen how parents would skip a meal so the kid learns that by skipping they can grt hungry. Sometimes kids might take it for granted or simply not feeling like eating. Alternative is cooking food in more creative ways.

Fighting strong will with more coercion might make things worse. But not many parents are willing to find other ways so I applaud OP for willing to read books.


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## KM87 (Nov 5, 2017)

I highly recommend Parenting With Love and Logic. It is based upon choices always having consequences (good or bad). This allows children some "power" in that they get to make their choice. But it also teaches them to choose carefully, because some choices do not have desirable consequences. The key being that you, the person that offers the choices, must be ok with either outcome. 

For example, when your child stalls or takes too long to even begin dinner, you could say, "This 'restaurant', like all eating establishments, has a closing time (state the time, and I usually start a count down for my finicky eaters, and I alert them as the minutes tick away). I sure hope you'll have enough time to fill your tummy before closing time. But if you don't, don't worry, it'll open again for breakfast."

You have to be calm, cool and ok with your child choosing either way. I live this because it teaches children to accept responsibility (good or bad) for the choices they make, from an early age. It also helps me keep from pulling my hair out. When the time is up, the food gets put away (despite tantrums). It'll only happen once or twice, so you just have to stay strong to show them where your boundaries are.


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