# How to asssess if I should waste my time, again!



## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

What is so hard for me is when my SO and I were working together, I know we both felt great and happy. We parent well together. She has always had a wall up and it was forever in the way. She has moved but moved only 500ft down the road! I know it is hard to find a place where we live but no that hard. However, it may very well be that the rentals down the road are the only ones available and she was desperate to move. 

I will admit that she left some emails open and I pried a bit because she will not talk to me. She told our MC that she feels "so good and uplifted" and told a good friend that "all she ever wanted was a fridge with ice/water taps and bought one!" The second one is really confusing because if I knew how important that was, I would have fixed it quick. 

She just sucks at understanding that I need to be flat told what her needs are. I cannot read her mind. 

Her whole family tree is a mastery of divorce. Mom married 4x. This seems to be so easy for her. She is literally skipping around in joy. I am curious though, is there going to be any way possible to determine if there is or will be anything worth saving? I feel confident she thinks I am dragging my feet in our new home build but there is a LOT of planning and costs that she has no clue about. 


Everything she is doing has to do with spreading her wings and being herself. I honestly love who she REALLY is but I get the feeling she is tired of waiting for some things to come. 

In general, I find it so frustrating that the MO seems the same in so many cases where if one spouse or the other is on hard times, divorce is sure to follow. If someone gets a better job, divorce is sure to follow. Sure does not leave a warm feeling about marriage, I will say that!!!!


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

If she turns out like her mother, which happens often enough, then you might be in trouble anyway.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Her mother seems to live with a wall IMO and is EXTREMELY selfish. My SO knows this though. Put it this way, my SO was in the hospital with a scary situation from a UTI and mom said "I gotta work". I honestly feel VERY sorry for my SO in that she does not have solid family to lean back on. I do and always have. There is quite a difference in upbringing.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

If you are a religious man, do not read Matthew 5. It will drive you crazy like it's doing to me!


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Does your counselor tell you to keep trying or give up?

It takes two to make a marriage work.


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