# How do you know if it's time to part ways?



## VSJQ06 (Jul 23, 2012)

How do I know we're done? My marriage is so bad. I feel depressed all the time. Everything about him irritates me. We're financially not doing well because of him doing bussiness with a friend in which MY credit got affected, so I have no credit. 
We fight all the time, even in front of our daughter (she's 5). He's done really bad stuff, that's he's said sorry for but I still suffer cause of those things. He thinks because he said sorry that everything should be fixed. What he doesn't understand is that the things he did, hurt our relationship and me so bad that I don't even know how we could recover. We can't even have a conversation without fighting! I'm depressed and have panic attacks. I spent Thursday without him and I was calm and had no anxiety but as soon as he came home I started to panic. He's a good father, I'll give him that, but I just don't know how we can stay together like this. We've been to counseling on and off for years now! Does it have to be that difficult to be together? He says that I don't leave him because financially I wouldn't be able to support our daughter and I, that last part it's true. I don't make much money. I don't think I could even rent an apartment for my daughter and I, specially since I have no credit thanks to him and we have no savings and owe thousands of dollars in credit cards. I have student loans too. I don't know what to do. I'm just so lost right now, crying as I write this.


----------



## VSJQ06 (Jul 23, 2012)

Also, I resent him a lot! While I was pregnant, he left me. Slept with other women (then when we got back together I found out I had an STD). He drank excessively since we dated and it got worse and worse , he became verbally abusive even in front of people. He stopped drinking 2 years ago but has since started to drink sporadically. Last night I felt like he was drunk, and it just brought me back to all the suffering I went through cause of his drinking. I was so embarrassed and mad! I think his alcoholism and drug use just destroyed out relationship and it has been really hard to fix anything....we go to therapy but we get nowhere. He even told me recently that he felt he was getting nothing from therapy.


----------



## meowmers (Dec 10, 2009)

In my personal opinion:

He is broken. He cannot love until he can figure out what his issues are. People that are whole do not turn to addictions as a crutch. Nothing will be resolved until he does the work that is required on his end. You cannot fix him and it is not your responsibility to do so. I am sure there are reasons there as to why you love him. If you can, detach emotionally. The things that you feel you are being blamed for from him are his addictions speaking. If you can hold onto that knowledge, you can see the addictions for what they are. I know that in the throws of everything it seems like this is the person your spouse has become and that there is no going back. If there is any way that you can build a solid foundation of strength for yourself, do it! It may not be fixable as it is but it will definitely be a failure if neither of you are strong. 

Maybe things have gone too far. That is your decision to make. Although, if you can see anything in him that reminds you of why you loved him in the first place, hold onto that and try to understand that he is, in fact, a broken man.


----------

