# Defusing and argument?



## paypay (Apr 21, 2011)

How do you defuse an argument without making your husband even more upset.

ETA - Title was meant to say Defusing AN argument! lol Sorry


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## Whatshisname (Jan 12, 2011)

Wait, I got it! You agree with him!

Sorry but couldn't resist. Make sure you don't use accusatory words or tones. Refrain from using words like "you" and "your". These put a person in defense mode. Don't interupt each other and don't bring up the past.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I think it depends on what you're arguing about. Can you give an example?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I don't view winning an argument is important, I view winning my husband's heart is important. 

I don't want to waste my energy and time arguing over small things anyway! 

For example, this morning I picked on his religion again, I said something ridiculous, and his tone got frustrated, I just went up to him and stuck my tongue into his mouth, stopped both of us from talking! Ha ha ha, great...........................


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

greenpearl said:


> I don't view winning an argument is important, I view winning my husband's heart is important.
> 
> I don't want to waste my energy and time arguing over small things anyway!
> 
> For example, this morning I picked on his religion again, I said something ridiculous, and his tone got frustrated, I just went up to him and stuck my tongue into his mouth, stopped both of us from talking! Ha ha ha, great...........................


:smthumbup: lol... that's awesome. makes me laugh just thinking about it. i bet he was shocked.

My H and I were getting into a tense argument a couple days ago. I dont even remember over what, that's how unimportant it was. anyway i just made a joke that sort of over-emphasized his point and we both started laughing.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Blanca said:


> :smthumbup: lol... that's awesome. makes me laugh just thinking about it. i bet he was shocked.
> 
> My H and I were getting into a tense argument a couple days ago. I dont even remember over what, that's how unimportant it was. anyway i just made a joke that sort of over-emphasized his point and we both started laughing.



He is the same with me! One time I was pretty pissed by him, I didn't want to look at him or talk to him. Suddenly he said: Harder...............harder.................harder.....................I went blush right away. (That's what I say when we have sex!!! ) I started smiling again......................


From your recent posts, I get the impression that you and your husband are having a sweet relationship!  Happy for you!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

greenpearl said:


> He is the same with me! One time I was pretty pissed by him, I didn't want to look at him or talk to him. Suddenly he said: Harder...............harder.................harder .....................I went blush right away. (That's what I say when we have sex!!! ) I started smiling again......................


:rofl: that has got to be the best repair attempt Ive ever heard! Im crackin' up!



greenpearl said:


> From your recent posts, I get the impression that you and your husband are having a sweet relationship!  Happy for you!


Ya that and my semester is almost over  Freedom awaits!


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I try (though am sure I am not allways successful) to bite my tongue and not get annoyed over little things. Sometimes I take my time and think about if what he said is really worth me being upset, and often it's not. When i think it is I tell him honestly. Sometimes I get it wrong.

But in the heat of a disagreement I would say I'm not very good because I become a bit of crying mess and I am sure he does not know what to do with me, as he has told me his ex was very aggressive. 

I do try and diffuse by making some corny jokes.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Whatshisname said:


> Wait, I got it! You agree with him!


This is actually not bad advice if it's something that isn't a dealbreaking argument. Because the thing is, you can't argue withi someone who agrees with you. LOL


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Depends.

If it's really not that important (to me). I'll just walk away or say okay and just let it go.

If it's really important and we are not going to get on the same page, no matter what - I'll just say - okay, let's agree to disagree - love you and let it go.

Have to pick and choose your fights.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

We had a huge fight last night. Or should I say, she grumbled something at me and I completely went full atomic insane. If you want to defuse an argument, by all that is dear to you stop pushing his buttons.


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> I don't view winning an argument is important, I view winning my husband's heart is important.
> 
> I don't want to waste my energy and time arguing over small things anyway!
> 
> For example, this morning I picked on his religion again, I said something ridiculous, and his tone got frustrated, I just went up to him and stuck my tongue into his mouth, stopped both of us from talking! Ha ha ha, great...........................


I think I'll try this one sometime...


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

I like to grab my husband's hands, look in those gorgeous blues and say "I love you. I want to get along and be happy." I always get a smile or a kiss.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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