# Declining Sex?



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Trying to avoid working this morning and tripped over this:









Americans less likely to have sex, partner up and get married than ever | CNN


Valentine's Day is a day of love, a special day on which we're supposed to make sure that those around us know how much we care for them. But on this day when Cupid is supposed to strike us with his arrow, there are several reasons to think love isn't what it once was in the United States.




www.cnn.com





The really insane one is this:

_Among married couples under the age of 60, 26% had sex once a month or less in 2021. In 1989, it was 12%. The 1980s really were better for sex._

So 1/4 of married couples under 60 are in dead bedrooms.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Trying to avoid working this morning and tripped over this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Their loss really.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Don’t have time to read the article right now. Did it say if it was men or women causing the dead bedrooms? I would be surprised if more dead bedrooms are happening now due to men causing the dead bedroom as opposed to what it was like in the 1980s.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Don’t have time to read the article right now. Did it say if it was men or women causing the dead bedrooms? I would be surprised if more dead bedrooms are happening now due to men causing the dead bedroom as opposed to what it was like in the 1980s.


I find this funny cause in reality it's a chicken or an egg type situation.

At one point in my marriage my husband's form of initiating was to rub my shoulder lightly at bed time. I thought it was a reassuring pat. At the time I had no idea it was his form of initiating. I did often take that opportunity to turn over and do some of my own rubbing which I viewed as initiating.

So from both of our perspectives we were initiating. And if we didn't have sex we might have said well the other never initiates.

If a wife refuses sex is a dead bedroom her fault? If a man behaves in a manner that is very unattractive turning their partner off is a dead bedroom his fault?

I don't think a survey would be able to tell you whose fault it is because both partners would view it as the others fault most likely.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> Trying to avoid working this morning and tripped over this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Since far less men between 18-30 are having sex than women in the same age range, who are all those women getting serviced by???😳


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Since far less men between 18-30 are having sex than women in the same age range, who are all those women getting serviced by???😳


I’m guessing by guys who work out every day and are in their late 40s or older.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> Since far less men between 18-30 are having sex than women in the same age range, who are all those women getting serviced by???😳


When I was dating, women in the 20s and 30s were throwing themselves at me. It is definitely a great time to date if you are a man.


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> I’m guessing by guys who work out every day and are in their late 40s or older.


This is very hetero normative comment. 😈


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Ahhh, the 80s. A great time, from what I can remember 😉.

Well, re the valentine's day comments, dw and I did the Valentine's thing starting last Thursday.

Then the physical side, we connected four times this weekend. Life is good.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

leftfield said:


> This is very hetero normative comment. 😈


I had to look that up.😋


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> The 1980s really were better for sex.


Yes, they were. I went to high school, college and got married all within the 1980's and it was wonderful.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

I wonder how accurate data like this is. It is all self reported, so call me skeptical. 

And what happened in 2012? This table is from the report. The number of people saying they've had no sex plummeted and 2-3 & 3+ per week jumped up.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Dunno about 2012 but happy to be in the gold color for February.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Dunno about 2012 but happy to be in the gold color for February.


Same here, lol. Feb is shaping up to be a record breaking month!


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I wonder how accurate data like this is. It is all self reported, so call me skeptical.
> 
> And what happened in 2012? This table is from the report. The number of people saying they've had no sex plummeted and 2-3 & 3+ per week jumped up.
> 
> View attachment 83175


The Mayan calendar ended, and the world was supposed to implode! Everyone wanted sex before dyeing.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Since far less men between 18-30 are having sex than women in the same age range, who are all those women getting serviced by???😳


I did not see that 18 to 30 quote in what I read.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> I’m guessing by guys who work out every day and are in their late 40s or older.


You wish.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Trying to avoid working this morning and tripped over this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh, for sure if it is from CNN it is Pravda (truth), so I believe every word of it. 

Seriously, I always wonder who/what digs up these surveys declaring the sky is falling and all are doomed. I swear recall reading the same damn tome last Valentine's Day ( and the last ten before that ). 

Are they saying 1/4 married couples under 60 had sex with ONE ANOTHER once a month or less ( same as zero )? Maybe they were having sex with someone else instead twice a day (lol)? Isn't there also some stat about infidelity in 1/4 of the marriages? A survey's results are highly dependent on how the question is asked, who is asking it, and the population being asked. Maybe they are asking couples as they exit divorce court. before the divorce is final.

Where, how, and who perform scientifically and statistically significant surveys about sexuality in any group of humans?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Rus47 said:


> Oh, for sure if it is from CNN it is Pravda (truth), so I believe every word of it.


It is from the General Social Survey. No need to piss on CNN, this isn't in the politics section.






GSS General Social Survey | NORC


Since 1972, the General Social Survey (GSS) has provided politicians, policymakers, and scholars with a clear and unbiased perspective on what Americans think and feel about such issues as national spending priorities, crime and punishment, etc.




gss.norc.org







> Where, how, and who perform scientifically and statistically significant surveys about sexuality in any group of humans?


It's not perfect, but it's the best we have and it has been around for 50 years.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I did not see that 18 to 30 quote in what I read.


It's from a different source.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> It's from a different source.


Some of them are going to be lesbians. But also a lot of women end up dating guys they think they're exclusively dating when they're not so it ends up being the same guys getting laid by multiple women when single.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Well, we hear about how test levels in guys have been on the decline so less test, less sex for the boys who are scared to go talk to the girls. Less drive in the ones who got married too. And......people are getting fatter, nobody wants to bang someone shaped like a chicken nugget.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Some of them are going to be lesbians. But also a lot of women end up dating guys they think they're exclusively dating when they're not so it ends up being the same guys getting laid by multiple women when single.


Could be some of the older, in shape guys picking up some of them (like ccpowerslave suggested), but it's probably mostly guys in that age range with multiple women.

I don't like referring to OLD as a source but it's happening there apparently, where multiple women are hooking up with the same few guys.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Does with yourself count?


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Al_Bundy said:


> Well, we hear about how test levels in guys have been on the decline so less test, less sex for the boys who are scared to go talk to the girls. Less drive in the ones who got married too. And......people are getting fatter, nobody wants to bang someone shaped like a chicken nugget.


Speak for yourself. My husband bangs this chicken nugget 5 times a week. If I get lucky up to 10 times a week. But you know testosterone levels aren't the same after 50...

ETA and even as an old chicken nugget way past the use by date. I'm positive if I wanted I could go out and get laid tonight. It just isn't that hard as a woman, especially one who knows what she wants.

Or are you proposing all the college nerd boys even the over weight ones wouldn't bang the college girls if they have and extra 20 or 30?


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> Speak for yourself. My husband bangs this chicken nugget 5 times a week. If I get lucky up to 10 times a week. But you know testosterone levels aren't the same after 50...
> 
> ETA and even as an old chicken nugget way past the use by date. I'm positive if I wanted I could go out and get laid tonight. It just isn't that hard as a woman, especially one who knows what she wants.
> 
> Or are you proposing all the college nerd boys even the over weight ones wouldn't bang the college girls if they have and extra 20 or 30?


I've worked with several nuggets who have no problem getting laid............a ring has proven to be more elusive though. Plus most Americans have WAY more than an extra 20 or 30. 20 or 30 stone maybe.

If the nerd boys aren't getting laid, that's their fault. They were probably told they are perfect just the way they are and have a room full of participation trophies to back it up.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Al_Bundy said:


> I've worked with several nuggets who have no problem getting laid............a ring has proven to be more elusive though. Plus most Americans have WAY more than an extra 20 or 30. 20 or 30 stone maybe.
> 
> If the nerd boys aren't getting laid, that's their fault. They were probably told they are perfect just the way they are and have a room full of participation trophies to back it up.


Or they have a nerd girl with a few extra pounds who still pounds them.

While I can agree that everyone should strive for a healthy weight. I just don't think it's the only reason for the decline in sex. Fat people like sex too. So if there are soooo many fat people we can just have sex with each other.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> Or they have a nerd girl with a few extra pounds who still pounds them.
> 
> While I can agree that everyone should strive for a healthy weight. I just don't think it's the only reason for the decline in sex. Fat people like sex too. So if there are soooo many fat people we can just have sex with each other.


It wasn't the only reason I gave.

Fat people do like sex, ironically not always with other fat people. I can't verify that personally but it has come up and I've seen anecdotal examples on both the male and female side. If you ever want to piss a single fat person off, set them up with another fat person.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

I believe the stats as nearly any of my male friends I have ever talked to sex about have it worse than me and we are a 3-4x per month (i.e. around once per week) couple.

In all honesty outside of what folks mention here, I don't know many that HAVE a good sex life. I hang out on two different "guy" sites and all the same talk is there except for some guys who are getting it on the side (cheating).

One of the biggest stats I read recently I think was shown in Bloomberg and WSJ that said only 40% of married men and something like 60% of married women were satisfied with their sex life.

Now of course stats can always be biased (the past two years have shown that) but as was mentioned above, its all we have sometime.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anastasia6 said:


> Speak for yourself. My husband bangs this chicken nugget 5 times a week.


🤣😋


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Ahhh, the 80s. A great time, from what I can remember 😉.
> 
> Well, re the valentine's day comments, dw and I did the Valentine's thing starting last Thursday.
> 
> Then the physical side, we connected four times this weekend. Life is good.


Life is just a fantasy. Can you live this fantasy life?

- 1982


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I believe the stats as nearly any of my male friends I have ever talked to sex about have it worse than me and we are a 3-4x per month (i.e. around once per week) couple.
> 
> In all honesty outside of what folks mention here, I don't know many that HAVE a good sex life. I hang out on two different "guy" sites and all the same talk is there except for some guys who are getting it on the side (cheating).
> 
> ...


Aren't you in shape and your wife is good looking? So what's the problem (tongue in cheek).


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Anastasia6 said:


> Aren't you in shape and your wife is good looking? So what's the problem (tongue in cheek).


No but I like chicken nuggets


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> No but I like chicken nuggets


Best response ever. For what it's worth, if I was your wife I'd bang you just for that.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Holy moly! Thanks to the chicken nugget conversation folks! I can't stop smiling!😆


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I wonder how accurate data like this is. It is all self reported, so call me skeptical.
> 
> And what happened in 2012? This table is from the report. The number of people saying they've had no sex plummeted and 2-3 & 3+ per week jumped up.
> 
> View attachment 83175


2012, 50 shades of grey became big. Mystery solved.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

happyhusband0005 said:


> 2012, 50 shades of grey became big. Mystery solved.


Are you implying Mr. Big increased sex..... Cause I find him mostly repulsive.

And you can guess if ANASTASIA is a fan of 60 shades of grey (btw that is 60 they left 10 shades out of the book but I found them)

ETA
I wish this was in my sex thread because if you can't tell the difference between the two that's the problem with the sexes that don't understand each other.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Ok you guys have me thinking about my chicken nugget loving husband and how much I really appreciate him for loving me. Well it's got me all worked up and he's out of town  So I gotta get out of this for tonight. I have an excuse what's yours, you are mostly all married people and it's Valentines. go do something nasty with ketchup.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Anastasia6 said:


> Ok you guys have me thinking about my chicken nugget loving husband and how much I really appreciate him for loving me. Well it's got me all worked up and he's out of town  So I gotta get out of this for tonight. I have an excuse what's yours, you are mostly all married people and it's Valentines. go do something nasty with ketchup.


My wife is already been in bed asleep for a while so I am getting out the honey mustard


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

We aren't married but at almost 3 1/2 years together we are passed the honeymoon stage and manage 2-4 times a week, and I look forward to all of it 😀

I'm 47 (almost 48) and he's 56.

I think fitness is likely a correlating factor. While of course fat people like sex being fat can affect self esteem, which is a huge libido killer. And being fat can contribute to issues like ED. I know that when I'm fit i want a lot more sex.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> Speak for yourself. My husband bangs this chicken nugget 5 times a week. If I get lucky up to 10 times a week. But you know testosterone levels aren't the same after 50...
> 
> ETA and even as an old chicken nugget way past the use by date. I'm positive if I wanted I could go out and get laid tonight. It just isn't that hard as a woman, especially one who knows what she wants.
> 
> Or are you proposing all the college nerd boys even the over weight ones wouldn't bang the college girls if they have and extra 20 or 30?


That's assuming they'd even leave their room, and you can't take anything for granted these days.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Al_Bundy said:


> It wasn't the only reason I gave.
> 
> Fat people do like sex, ironically not always with other fat people. I can't verify that personally but it has come up and I've seen anecdotal examples on both the male and female side. If you ever want to piss a single fat person off, set them up with another fat person.


I think the biggest impediment to people not getting laid is twofold. First they have to be somewhat social. And then the biggie is they can get laid as long as they don't try to hold out for someone more attractive than them and that's the only thing important to them.

You see people who aren't picky all over the place coupled up if you go shopping on a weekend at Walmart. I have to admire that. I'm more shallow than that. I have to admire that those people are just realistic and know who they are and are just getting on with it.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think the biggest impediment to people not getting laid is twofold. First they have to be somewhat social. And then the biggie is they can get laid as long as they don't try to hold out for someone more attractive than them and that's the only thing important to them.
> 
> You see people who aren't picky all over the place coupled up if you go shopping on a weekend at Walmart. I have to admire that. I'm more shallow than that. I have to admire that those people are just realistic and know who they are and are just getting on with it.


Well I don’t shop at Walmart I suppose from a distance I might be one of those people. But have you considered that those people might find beauty in other places than you do?

I never found Henry cavil sexy as super man but as the Witcher yes. Same guy but I’m attracted to the character not the muscle.

I used to like Jeff Goldblum until he talked too much.

maybe those people value other things or different looks.

oh course I do agree some are just gutting through it but that’s true of the pretty people too. A certain infamous thread of a now banned pretty power couple comes to mind


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

For me (50 year old male) the sex was far better when I was spinning plates. With my LTR its “married sex”. I get more excitement going to yard sales or having my my prostrate checked by my male doctor. Just another reason marriage is OFF THE TABLE. Any guy who’s married knows exactly what I’m talking about. For the LD women that are claiming 7-10 a week, I call FAKE NEWS.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> For me (50 year old male) the sex was far better when I was spinning plates. With my LTR its “married sex”. I get more excitement going to yard sales or having my my prostrate checked by my male doctor. Just another reason marriage marriage is OFF THE TABLE. Any guy who’s married knows exactly what I’m talking about. For the LD women that are claiming 7-10 a week, I call FAKE NEWS.


So get out of your LTR if you are unhappy. You aren’t married so no divorce just Next.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Anastasia6 said:


> So get out of your LTR if you are unhappy. You aren’t married so no divorce just Next.


Don’t know if you’ve dated, but it’s a garbage truck convention out there. I’ll take the occasional sex over the crazies on the market. I’ve made it clear to LD, whoops I mean LTR, that’s there’s no future in marriage or cohabitation. By the way, no sex on Valentine’s Day #2. I don’t have the kids, but she opted for the gym instead. My expectations are so low I’m at peace with it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

RebuildingMe said:


> Don’t know if you’ve dated, but it’s a garbage truck convention out there. I’ll take the occasional sex over the crazies on the market. I’ve made it clear to LD, whoops I mean LTR, that’s there’s no future in marriage or cohabitation. By the way, no sex on Valentine’s Day #2. I don’t have the kids, but she opted for the gym instead. My expectations are so low I’m at peace with it.


Where are you finding these women?

We did our valentine"s day on Sunday and Monday morning was our 3rd day in a row.

Just had dinner with a gf who's 56 and been married since 2012. She tells me that they do it 2-3 times a week and she "gets hers".

Is it possible that you're contributing to this dynamic be sending the message that they're not that important beyond occasional company and sex? I know if someone told me that there's no future for us (doesn't necessarily have to be marriage) that would he a pretty big libido killer for me. I'm not someones means to scratch an itch.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> I have an excuse what's yours, you are mostly all married people and it's Valentines. go do something nasty with ketchup.


Oddly we bought ketchup yesterday but did not use it. 

I was kind of tired from the day but since I am a top tier husband my wife surprised me in bed with lingerie. Turns out I wasn’t as tired as I thought, stayed up an extra two hours 😈


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> So 1/4 of married couples under 60 are in dead bedrooms.


Sounds just about right.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Ahhh, the 80s. A great time, from what I can remember 😉.


The best shagging years of my life...


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Cletus said:


> _*It is from the General Social Survey. No need to piss on CNN, this isn't in the politics section.*_



LOL. There's ALWAYS a need to piss on CNN.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> Well I don’t shop at Walmart I suppose from a distance I might be one of those people. But have you considered that those people might find beauty in other places than you do?
> 
> I never found Henry cavil sexy as super man but as the Witcher yes. Same guy but I’m attracted to the character not the muscle.
> 
> ...


I think they find other people similar to them attractive, whether physically or mentally, having all that in common with them.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Oddly we bought ketchup yesterday but did not use it.
> 
> I was kind of tired from the day but since I am a top tier husband my wife surprised me in bed with lingerie. Turns out I wasn’t as tired as I thought, stayed up an extra two hours 😈


Lingerie? Whats that? I haven't seen that in many years.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

RebuildingMe said:


> Don’t know if you’ve dated, but it’s a garbage truck convention out there. I’ll take the occasional sex over the crazies on the market. I’ve made it clear to LD, whoops I mean LTR, that’s there’s no future in marriage or cohabitation. By the way, no sex on Valentine’s Day #2. I don’t have the kids, but she opted for the gym instead. My expectations are so low I’m at peace with it.


I agree. I would not get married again. People change after dating and with my current wife, I feel duped. She was all into sex for the first 3-5 years together and now....nuthin'.

And yeah I also agree when I was dating there were tons of women out there who I dated and had sex with many of them but they weren't really "marriage material". Heck a few were married and just out having fun.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Mr. Nail said:


> the 80's?
> 
> Alone between the sheets
> Only brings exasperation
> ...


Men At Work


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Both partners in a marriage have to commit to one another and agree that sex is important. Otherwise, it won't happen that much. We have a every Sunday agreement and that's led to more than Sunday fun. Frequency is up from dismal numbers five years ago. Usually twice a week. sometimes more. Not bad for 62 and 61. But, again, you both have to be committed to it. Or nada happens


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Both partners in a marriage have to commit to one another and agree that sex is important.



Yep! And I think thats were many couples break down. My wife has said before to me when I want to discuss it "Why is sex soooo important to you?...its just sex" If someone is asking that question, they just don't get it and I don't think ever really will.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Yep! And I think thats were many couples break down. My wife has said before to me when I want to discuss it "Why is sex soooo important to you?...its just sex" If someone is asking that question, they just don't get it and I don't think ever really will.


Exactly. My wife has said "sex is the glue for relationships" and she is correct. It's important to both of us. Probably more important to me, yes, but important to her, too. Otherwise, we would not have our every Sunday agreement. And that's even if we have an argument Saturday night.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Men At Work


Moving Pictures!


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