# Why am I so upset over something so stupid?



## SilverPanther (Feb 2, 2012)

Here I am, going through a divorce, having just suffered months of verbal and occasional violence from my husband. I just came to terms with the fact that the man I put all my trust in is a selfish, crazy, cruel person who has caused me more pain than everything else in my life put together. I have, in short, been to hell and back (or at least maybe I'm on the path outta hell, not quite throwing a goodbye party yet, though).

And so why, in the face of all that, am I so upset because a manager at work went off on me today? It's not even something I could get in serious trouble over. My job is hardly in danger, and even if it was, it's no gem of a job anyway, it's a dime a dozen to find an equivalent one. And yeah, this woman was a real jerk to me, but who is she to me, that I am so hurt by this?

But it's like, I can handle everything my husband throws at me, I am ready for that, but apparently my self confidence is so low right now that if someone else lays into me, even about something insignificant, I just about lose it. Is that...normal? I feel like I am getting more upset because this woman I barely know is telling me I'm a crappy employee, than I was when my husband told me I was a crappy wife and not worth coming back to. I don't really think I care more about my job than my husband, I am devastated by losing him, he truly was the one true love of my life. 

I often find myself dwelling interminably on little things, like this. I obsess over how I need to lose some weight, or something, but then I often just feel nothing about my husband, and when I do start thinking about it, I shut it out, think about other things, start watching a TV show, etc. Is this healthy? Or a bad way to handle things? I really don't know.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It's easier to be upset at her than at yourself for putting up with your h's crap and/or at your h. Plus it's just never fun when someone at work yells at us. She should not be yelling at your for anything really.

Maybe you are also sick and tired of being yelled at. And now here she comes yelling at you. Why shouldn't it bother you?

And yes it is healthy to switch your attention away from things that bother you. Much more healthy than over dwelling on them.


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