# Emotional Affair Versus Physical Affair - I do not know what is worse...



## mom1.2 (Mar 13, 2014)

I know this topic has probably been beaten to death on this forum but this is my first time dealing with it...

Husband swears it was an emotional affair with a female co-worker but I think all signs of physical were/are there...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

You know your husbands cheating is physical. I don't understand how you can believe a word that comes out of his mouth. He is not only cheating, he's flaunting it in your face.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Both are bad. The individual circumstances are important.


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## mom1.2 (Mar 13, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> You know your husbands cheating is physical. I don't understand how you can believe a word that comes out of his mouth. He is not only cheating, he's flaunting it in your face.


I THINK it is physical - I have no proof though... You prob right, not that it matters to me - I actually would have preferred physical one night stand to a year-long emotinal infidelity... BUT how do we really know for sure?


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## mom1.2 (Mar 13, 2014)

What I meant to ask was: how do folks on here know if it is physical or emotional? Is there really a way to know except for hiring a PI


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You'll only know if it was physical if he tells you or if you saw it happen or read something between them (texts) eluding to a physical encounter. 

What's worse? That depend son what you think is worse. All affairs are bad.

The general idea seems to be that women think an emotional affair is worse (if a man does it) and men tend to think physical is worse if their lady does it. 

No right answer. But affairs suck.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Its not really about if its a PA or a EA its about what you will accept and live with in your life. I don't see the likelihood its not PA in your case. I could be wrong but no man is going to walk away the way away from his marriage and spend time with another woman unless he is getting something out of it. You are just going to have to choose what you will live with. 

Clay


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

Both are the coup de' grace to a marriage or really any relationship. 

In my opinion, a Physical affair is point of no return. I think an EA is possible to come back from and salvage the relationship. 


But once a woman gives her body to another man. 

I think it's done, done and done.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I quit following your other thread, so I don't know what snooping you've done. I do know you found lipstick on his clothes - where do you think that came from?

You can uncover texts and emails if he's communicating that way. You can VAR his car and listen to his phone conversations. You can GPS his phone and see where he is and for how long.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

But in your case it's all a moot point anyway. You need to accept the fact he's a slimeball and end the marriage.


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## mom1.2 (Mar 13, 2014)

Hope 1964,
You are probably right but what I think and again this is just a gut feeling - my husband fell in love with another woman and it is all over for us...
However, refuses to let ME go - he swears over and over again that there is nothing going on, blah blah blah, I do not even listen half the time... 
How much he wants the kids, the family, the whole deal...


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## mom1.2 (Mar 13, 2014)

Why hold on to me - if he found a better match?


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

He's not preventing you from leaving...YOU are preventing you from leaving.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Because you're his plan B. If it doesn't work out with the OW he has you to fall back on. I can't remember - are you still having sex with him? If so, he's having sex with two women - whoopee for him. He is holding on to you because you are letting him - you're the one who refuses to end it. He figures he can have his cake and eat it too. He is apparently not a monogamous person, so if he CAN do it he will.

Why do you care why anyway?? HE IS CHEATING AND FLAUNTING IT AT YOU. Why on earth are you putting up with it?? You're using your search for answers as an excuse to stay with him because it's what you know. Until you grow a backbone, this is just going to continue. And you've been told that over and over and over here. I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:


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## mom1.2 (Mar 13, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> Because you're his plan B. If it doesn't work out with the OW he has you to fall back on. I can't remember - are you still having sex with him? If so, he's having sex with two women - whoopee for him. He is holding on to you because you are letting him - you're the one who refuses to end it. He figures he can have his cake and eat it too. He is apparently not a monogamous person, so if he CAN do it he will.
> 
> Why do you care why anyway?? HE IS CHEATING AND FLAUNTING IT AT YOU. Why on earth are you putting up with it?? You're using your search for answers as an excuse to stay with him because it's what you know. Until you grow a backbone, this is just going to continue. And you've been told that over and over and over here. I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:


hmmm, I am staying in a separate room but in the same house, saving all my money and trying to reason with him to divide the assets and divorce through the mediator...


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## mom1.2 (Mar 13, 2014)

cons said:


> He's not preventing you from leaving...YOU are preventing you from leaving.


I am looking for a way to retain one of the houses - so that my son and I have a place to live... I have been working on an exit plan for a while now...

But he says he doesn't want me to leave - while I clearly see what he does...


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## mom1.2 (Mar 13, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> Because you're his plan B. If it doesn't work out with the OW he has you to fall back on. I can't remember - are you still having sex with him? If so, he's having sex with two women - whoopee for him. He is holding on to you because you are letting him - you're the one who refuses to end it. He figures he can have his cake and eat it too. He is apparently not a monogamous person, so if he CAN do it he will.
> 
> Why do you care why anyway?? HE IS CHEATING AND FLAUNTING IT AT YOU. Why on earth are you putting up with it?? You're using your search for answers as an excuse to stay with him because it's what you know. Until you grow a backbone, this is just going to continue. And you've been told that over and over and over here. I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:


I just do not see how he could be so affectionate and loving - when we were still being intimate - full of love, making love, saying beautiful things... How can a person be this way with two people at once?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Because he's a narcissistic selfish egotistical self-indulgent deceptive cheating liar.


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

Lawyer up, and bury his ass (financially, emotionally and mentally of course, don't literally bury him lol). 

File first. 
Seek full custody. 
Seek half or more assets. 
Go for BOTH HOUSES. 
File a restraining order (for women this is quite easy). 

Expose affair far and wide. 

Watch the show. He will literally be decimated.


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