# Rock and a hard place.



## iSpy

Last year my wife(24) and I(26) went through a hard time. I suffer from severe PTSD and before I could get treatment it deteriated our whole marriage, we’ve been married for a short 4 years. Since last year we went through a lot, did things to each other that most wouldn’t forgive. Weve been separated for 5 months now. It ended that she wanted me out of her life and that she doesn’t love me anymore. I agreed, I told her I’ll make contact with her lawyer in December to finalize the divorce and that we should both go out separate ways till then. I met one of my old friends from college. We had a thing and we started talking 2 months ago. We’re a good match and she wants to go further than friends at the moment. My wife saw us grocery shopping and acted like nothing happened. That night my phone was being bombarded by text and calls. She misses me, she made a huge mistake, she still loves me and needs me back in her life. I still love her. I still want to work things out with her. I just dont know if I’m looking past the wall of jealousy and creating a false sense of hope for the two of us. I’ve come to love both of them. I want both of them to be happy and not break their hearts. I just don’t know what to do, any good advice?


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## SentHereForAReason

Are you in counseling or therapy?

Seems like a lot of unresolved issues here. You are in love with someone you started dating and you aren't even technically divorced yet. Now some may not see an issue with this but my issue is that you still most likely still have a TON of the same baggage you had in the marriage and unless that gets resolved ... whether you are with your GF or get back with your Wife, it's not going to end well.

I would put the brakes on the relationship with the GF so you can find out what you really need and want and need help with before making your life worse than you thought it was before.


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## Marc878

The wife didn't didn't want you until someone else did. Very common.

Stick with the gf and get the D finalized.


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## Bibi1031

Divorce the wife. She doesnt love you. She just doesnt want anyone else to have you. Well, she doesnt own you. She let you go. You need to do the same. 

Keep moving on from the dead marriage. It will not miraculously get fixed.


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## salparadise

iSpy said:


> Weve been separated for 5 months now. It ended that she wanted me out of her life and that she doesn’t love me anymore.





Bibi1031 said:


> Divorce the wife. She doesnt love you. She just doesnt want anyone else to have you.


Agreed. I'll take it one further... she was just fine while she believed you were lonely and miserable. Then she sees you looking happy and moving on with the new girlfriend and she's trying to put an end to that. Well, what do you think will happen if you give her that much power? Yup, she'll dump your azz and make sure you're miserable all over again. Don't play into her power game. Tell her, "thanks but no thanks... quite happy with the new girlfriend now, and she treats me really well. But I do wish you well." 

She had five months to come to her realization, and you got nada before she saw you with someone new. It's a trap.


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## Openminded

She was just fine before she saw you with your new gf. Ignore her and move on.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn

iSpy said:


> Last year my wife(24) and I(26) went through a hard time. I suffer from severe PTSD and before I could get treatment it deteriated our whole marriage, we’ve been married for a short 4 years. Since last year we went through a lot, did things to each other that most wouldn’t forgive. Weve been separated for 5 months now. *It ended that she wanted me out of her life and that she doesn’t love me anymore*. I agreed, I told her I’ll make contact with her lawyer in December to finalize the divorce and that we should both go out separate ways till then. I met one of my old friends from college. We had a thing and we started talking 2 months ago. We’re a good match and she wants to go further than friends at the moment. My wife saw us grocery shopping and acted like nothing happened. That night my phone was being bombarded by text and calls. She misses me, she made a huge mistake, she still loves me and needs me back in her life. I still love her. I still want to work things out with her. I just dont know if I’m looking past the wall of jealousy and creating a false sense of hope for the two of us. I’ve come to love both of them. I want both of them to be happy and not break their hearts. I just don’t know what to do, any good advice?


Nuff said. Move on


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## Tomara

I agree with the rest. She only wants you back because you have someone now. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Vespil

Jealousy has no boundaries. 

It transcends even the finality of divorce.


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## Smooth1981

Agree with the group. Start fresh with the new GF and try not to make the same mistakes as the soon to be last marriage


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