# Crazy,Stupid, Love



## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Has anyone watched this movie? I have seen it a few times funny in spots and also sad. This is the scene near the beginning when the husband is moving out due to the wife's infidelity. This is a script quote couldn't find a video clip, the last line is perfect
Emily Weaver: I think I'm having a midlife crisis, maybe. Can women have midlife crisis? In the movies it's always men having them and buying ridiculous yellow Porsche's, but you know I'm not a man...
[Cal ignores her and walks ahead looking at the garden]
Cal Weaver: Fertilize, you gotta be sure to fertilize all this.
Emily Weaver: We got married so young, Cal. You know, I'm forty four. I'm so much older than I thought I'd be.
Cal Weaver: There's a...a turn off valve for the sprinkler, it's over there.
Emily Weaver: You know, last week, you know when I told you that I had to work late. I really went to see the new Twilight movie by myself. I don't know why I did that, and it was so bad, Cal.
Cal Weaver: If it keeps raining like this, you might wanna turn off the automatic setting.
Emily Weaver: We haven't been us, not for a long time. And I...I don't know when you and I stopped being us. I mean, do you?
Cal Weaver: Maybe it's when you screwed David Lindhagen.
[he gets into the truck and drives off]


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## jupiter13 (Jun 8, 2012)

what's the name of the movie?


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

jupiter13 said:


> what's the name of the movie?


The title of the thread.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

I have seen it 3 times. The first was a little painful. Maybe there were too many of the same issues.

It is funny, and I feel there is a message that is made. It also is a bit disturbing to see how some people view marriage.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

That scene is great OP.

But I thought the movie could have used a later scene where the WW really has a 'come to Jesus' moment where she realizes that all the drama and negative incidents that boil over later in the film are the direct result of the fact she betrayed her H and couldn't keep her legs closed.

I mean NONE of it would have happened if she wasn't a cheating skank, and their is no episode in the movie that really drives that point home.

The lesson to viewers about the result of infidelity would have been much clearer and better if this had been in the script.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Isn't that the movie where the BH tries to win back the WW? If so, I'm not going to watch it.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

IIRC, the dad went out, got mentored by a Lothario, and then went hog wild with the women. I think it was 9 or so women he nailed.

And in the scene after the school meeting, when mom realizes that hubby and son's teacher did the big ugly together, she is emotionally devastated!

When she finds out that HE nailed 9 women, SHE has the effrontery to say to him 'NINE? Well...I guess you showed me..."

This did not sit correctly to me, as she initiated this whole debacle. Sorry, but she no longer gets any say in his sex life since they are getting a divorce...though it would be better if he had waited.

Which leads to THIS point:



Dyokemm said:


> But I thought the movie could have used a later scene where the WW really has a 'come to Jesus' moment where she realizes that all the drama and negative incidents that boil over later in the film are the direct result of the fact she betrayed her H and couldn't keep her legs closed.
> 
> I mean NONE of it would have happened if she wasn't a cheating skank, and their is no episode in the movie that really drives that point home.
> 
> The lesson to viewers about the result of infidelity would have been much clearer and better if this had been in the script.


Hmm...it's 2011, and the boys are all primed to see a movie. Do they see

a) Captain America

b) Cowboys and Aliens

or

c) Crazy Stupid Love.

The demographic they were targeting was women with a median age of 40 and their protesting SOs. Do you really THINK they were going to make clear that it was 'all her fault'?

Please note, EXCEPT for the being a cheating skank (and what woman isn't tempted at one point or another?), she was measured, intelligent and rational the entire movie.

The men...not so much. Fighting and arguing and screwing and fighting and arguing and screwing etc.

So...yeah...I'm sure they wanted to put that scene in there. Make HER wrong.

Sorry...they wanted to make money by low balling what she did as much as humanly possible.

I don't remember...did she ever actually apologize?


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

That being said, there were three really rocking scenes in that movie. And honestly, I enjoyed it much more than Captain America and it was even with Cowboys and Aliens.

When hubby just fell out of the moving car because he wife wouldn't shut up.

When the son met the POS Kevin Bacon

When the Lothario met the POS Kevin Bacon and started to take his rings off...

The arc with the teen girl was cold crap on toast.


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## FLGator (Mar 26, 2013)

I no longer, even if they have funny parts can watch movies or shows like this anymore. It just makes me pissed off. 

One thing the wife does is watches "Mistresses". It dives me mad. I just know one day I will explode over that show. How can she watch **** like that after doing what she did. It's like it is entertaining. Unreal how TV and Movies have made this crap family entertainment.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Okay, I have a lot to say about this. In fact, if you search on my threads, you'll see I have a thread about my wife wanting me to see this movie, to "show me she's not the only one who cheats when her husband ignores her."

It was about as mad as I got during R. My W and I are both big Steve Carell fans. When the movie came out, she wanted to see it with me (it was maybe 2 months into R), because "it was relevant to our situation." I said, "What do you mean?" And she hit me with the quote in my first paragraph.

I said that movie would be hell for me, and there was no way I was going to go. I had a really good zinger for her that I can't remember now. I think it was something like, "I think you already taught me that lesson. Don't need a movie to rub it in my face. You did that all by yourself." Or something like that.

So later on, when it came out on cable, my wife watched it without me. Then, somewhat recently, I decided to watch it, because the pain of her EA is much less acute.

Frankly, I thought the movie was ridiculous crap. For those people who haven't gone through the pain of infidelity, I can see how they would like it. Good actors doing good acting. Interesting plot. Twists and turns. Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling are hot. 

But those who've been through it realize how immaturely and recklessly they handle the material. It was made purely for entertainment, not to actually address or analyze the subject.

The only part I liked was when Carell goes back to check on his house/wife and she calls him asking for "help" with something in the house. And he watches her through the window and learns she didn't need the help after all, but really just missed him and needed an excuse to call. And it was pretty clear she wasn't going to stick with Kevin Bacon. The movie did a good job with that scene, and didn't guarantee they would get back together, but instead showed the combination of possible R with heartbreak.

Being able to watch it objectively was a really good way for me to realize I'm done with the acute pain. We even watched The Descendants together recently, and I was able to take it for what it was and enjoy it.


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

Wow the stuff you guys watch...
You need to escape and watch...

The Walking Dead(I am sure some of you picture that zombie as XW/XH)


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

sirdano said:


> Wow the stuff you guys watch...
> You need to escape and watch...
> 
> The Walking Dead(I am sure some of you picture that zombie as XW/XH)


Love Walking Dead I must say this movie is not my normal stuff but I do like Steve Carell.

The first ten minutes or so right up to him saying the "when you screwed the guy" are the best part of the movie.
I have never jumped out of a moving car but I have pulled over when I was driving got out and walked home when we were having an argument not too long after d day, she just wouldn't stop speaking and I couldn't take it anymore.

If anything this movie shows how selfish people are, she wasn't happy for along time but where does it say she tried to work on their marriage(it's a movie so many things are just not addressed) if she was that unhappy why not start the divorce then date others. 
This was an exit affair her way of getting the husband out of the picture and later she found out what she had was a lot better than what was out there.
He wasn't entirely innocent (lack of communication, apathy etc) in the downfall of his marriage but he didn't deserve to be cheated on and humiliated. Sound familiar?

One side note: I noticed all the women being very shallow and open to getting picked up in a bar for a ons by the handsome player


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

So in the end, the good guy BH may actually get to be his cheating ex-wife's plan-B?? How lucky for him. 

I don't watch pathetic crap like that.


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## jupiter13 (Jun 8, 2012)

Ok I am down loading it now so I can watch it sounds interesting.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

sirdano said:


> Wow the stuff you guys watch...
> You need to escape and watch...
> 
> The Walking Dead(I am sure some of you picture that zombie as XW/XH)


Wait...Walking Dead also had a cheating wife...sort of.

Well...she thought he was dead. Still wonder whose kid it was.


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

JCD said:


> Wait...Walking Dead also had a cheating wife...sort of.
> 
> Well...she thought he was dead. Still wonder whose kid it was.



Well yes she was lied to by Shane. What is really sad is how Rick treated his wife after he found out. It kind of proves to cherish every moment as you don't know when someone will die. 

I would have to rewatch season two again it seem Lorie was putting Rick and Shane against each other in some sick weird way.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Gabriel said:


> The only part I liked was when Carell goes back to check on his house/wife and she calls him asking for "help" with something in the house. And he watches her through the window and learns she didn't need the help after all, but really just missed him and needed an excuse to call. And it was pretty clear she wasn't going to stick with Kevin Bacon. The movie did a good job with that scene, and didn't guarantee they would get back together, but instead showed the combination of possible R with heartbreak.


I liked that scene as well, I think it shows how people know they made a mistake but just don't know how or have the courage how to fix that mistake.

I truly feel that sometimes you have to throw yourself on the sword, take your beating and accept the mistake and try to fix it. But sadly people have that thing called pride.. They are too afraid of trying and then being told *"fvck off"* for trying..

So better not to try and not get your pride wounded as well. 

All she had to say is I miss you.. I want to try to see if we can find a way to fix this.. All he had to do is just say hey look I know your lying I'm outside and can see you calling me.. Anything. 
Though I get his end of it.. 

For me I always put it out there, My wife knows I love her but she needs to fix this, if it even can be fixed.. But she would have to try to fix it. I never wanted anyone to tell me I gave up ever..


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I enjoyed this movie for what it was.

It does have definite trigger potential for us BS's but I found it entertaining and enjoyed it overall. It doesn't go really deep into the real aftermath of infidelity but I think that's to be expected from a Rom-Com. 

There are a few good parts, seeing Steve Carrel's character just touch on the devastation of his wife's betrayal barely skimmed the surface but it was relatable. 

Seeing him jump out of the car to get away from her narcissistic diatribe was also relatable. I think a lot of us (especially the ones that have dealt with their spouse's "fog" or had an unremorseful spouse) can relate to how listening to them go on and on about themselves and how they're affected right after the revelation of an affair feels.

Like others have mentioned, the part when his wife is talking and he keeps talking about fertilizer (the original quote). Is a good part too.

Watching him talk to her on the phone when he was in the yard was really tough for me. I am/have been letting my WS go. I thought at first that, that part meant he was letting her go too and so he didn't engage her in conversation or admit to being in the yard and able to see her. 

Overall, good movie. Though it wasn't "deep" (nor was I expecting it to be). I'm a year past DDay and was able to watch it and enjoy it for what it was but I wouldn't recommend if you're still feeling raw. It's got it's triggers.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I thought he should have dated the teacher long term. She was fun, hot, and a little crazy.

His wife, she was just selfish worthless human trash and deserved to end up alone in a dumpster living with cats , rats, and lice.


They let the wife off without any consequences - none. Obviously written by a pro cheater.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

FLGator said:


> I no longer, even if they have funny parts can watch movies or shows like this anymore. It just makes me pissed off.
> 
> One thing the wife does is watches "Mistresses". It dives me mad. I just know one day I will explode over that show. How can she watch **** like that after doing what she did. It's like it is entertaining. Unreal how TV and Movies have made this crap family entertainment.


My wife watches that show, but she's never cheated on me. If she had...NO EFFING WAY!!


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> I thought he should have dated the teacher long term. She was fun, hot, and a little crazy.
> 
> His wife, she was just selfish worthless human trash and deserved to end up alone in a dumpster living with cats , rats, and lice.
> 
> ...


She had consequences.... Her pride.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> I thought he should have dated the teacher long term. She was fun, hot, and a little crazy.
> 
> His wife, she was just selfish worthless human trash and deserved to end up alone in a dumpster living with cats , rats, and lice.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

LOL! Marisa Tomei is hot! 

I have thought that EVERY time I have watched it. Why would Steve's character go back to the wife? They should have a part two....

Steve could D, and re-connect with Marisa. Ryan Gosling could become too beta, and the exWW could move to a small, dirty one bedroom apartment.

Would it still be fictitious at that point?


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

I saw the movie too and thought it was definitely written by a pro cheater. I saw nothing redeemable about the wife's character. Typical entitled milf in her 40s who thought it would be a good idea to blow up her marriage and family for a few orgasms. And I'm sick of movies that perpetuate the nice guy metrosexuals like Carrel. I don't like Carel or the characters he plays. 

I wanted the Bacon character to get the beat-down he deserved and I wanted Carel to hook up with Tomei permanently.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I do agree that the wife was mostly off the hook. I also don't like how Steve Carrel's character had to prostrate himself in order to win her back while she remained a passive and unaccountable.

It reminds me of my ex. I think he thought I'd fall at his feet and be apologetic and grateful when he told me he wanted me back. As if he was God's gift to women and I'd see the error of my ways in not noticing that before he cheated. Yeah right lol. To his surprise, I've become a smarter, stronger, more independent and sexier woman that now knows her worth and that he's beneath me. I'm better off this way.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> I do agree that the wife was mostly off the hook. I also don't like how Steve Carrel's character had to prostrate himself in order to win her back while she remained a passive and unaccountable.
> 
> It reminds me of my ex. I think he thought I'd fall at his feet and be apologetic and grateful when he told me he wanted me back. As if he was God's gift to women and I'd see the error of my ways in not noticing that before he cheated. Yeah right lol. To his surprise, I've become a smarter, stronger, more independent and sexier woman that now knows her worth and that he's beneath me. I'm better off this way.


You go girl! 

Good to know you are better off. Maybe that is why the show ends up being a little wrong, the WW is given a pass.

The character played by Steve Carrell should have filed, and then stayed with Tomei's character.

There were some valuable lessons in the movie in spite of the flaws.


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

I don't get why he instantly gave away the house. The WW even has the gall to say "This isn't your house anymore" when he's arguing with his daughter. Why, how?

Hate the fact that Ryan Gosling's character is teaching him outer game, routines etc but the guy's inner beliefs and values doesn't change even a single bit(still hanging on to things like "soulmates" for example...) 

Also RG's character himself seems to be on an insanely quick slippery slope into the "lameass beta" territory as he seems very inclined to exchange every attitude(c0cky funny, one track mind) that made him attractive in the first place to seek to build more and more comfort. If he doesn't, awesome. If he does, can the attraction survive just based on his looks?

Regarding Emma Stone's character I didn't understand why he broke up with the lawyer guy. I mean, does not being sure of marriage instantly destroy the relationship?

Regarding her friend, OMG if there is an entitled stuckup b!tch, she is one...

I thought The WW's reaction of "Wow, you showed me" was pretty convincing. Isn't one of the aspects of the cheater script, the shock that comes when they realize the BS can move on quickly and they don't have as much control on the situation as they like? I mean generally the WW seems to relegate the BH into the "brotherly feelings" or "unwanted orbiter" in their minds. That's why it doesn't really help much when the BH clings on. You can't solve the problem with the same thinking that created it.


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

Lovemytruck said:


> The character played by Steve Carrell should have filed, and then stayed with Tomei's character.


Tbh, I don't think it would have served his cause to dump one crazy chick and instantly tie himself to another. You can bang a chick without being in an exclusive LTR with her.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> I don't get why he instantly gave away the house. The WW even has the gall to say "This isn't your house anymore" when he's arguing with his daughter. Why, how?
> 
> 
> > Yeah, I thought this was a nice touch, but true to form.
> ...


I think a lot of us can relate to that. In my own experience, my ex was screwing anything that let himwhile separated including a married woman (he didn't know she was married and ironically took issue with HER cheating on her husband). I dated a really nice guy (never slept with him) and my ex couldn't stomach it. It's like he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me either. How dare I want to move on after being disposed of like garbage. Puhleeeze.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> Tbh, I don't think it would have served his cause to dump one crazy chick and instantly tie himself to another. You can bang a chick without being in an exclusive LTR with her.


:lol:

True!


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> ... I dated a really nice guy (never slept with him) and my ex couldn't stomach it. It's like he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me either. How dare I want to move on after being disposed of like garbage. Puhleeeze.


REVENGE!!! Sweet revenge!!! Lol!

It has been a very rewarding experience for me to re-marry to a good woman. She is the kind of person that loves me, my sons, and her own children. The best part is when she openly loves my oldest son, and he adores her for it. He is praising her and joking with her on FB at least weekly. 

The good part is knowing that my exWW is exposed to it. She never treated my sons or me the way my new wife does. I know it hurts her, but it is a bitter pill that hopefully will help her improve on some level.

Back to the movie, the WW does swallow the bitter pill when she finds out her husband has become a male slvt. Lol! It probably is the primary reason she decides to give him a second chance. Typical? Probably.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Gabriel said:


> We even watched The Descendants together recently, and I was able to take it for what it was and enjoy it.


IMO, this handled an affair much better than CSL. Especially the friends who knew excusing their actions of keeping it quiet. I loved how Clooney's character lit into them. I saw both movies before my wife's EA.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Lovemytruck said:


> Back to the movie, the WW does swallow the bitter pill when she finds out her husband has become a male slvt. Lol! It probably is the primary reason she decides to give him a second chance. Typical? Probably.


Actually this is called "upping the sex rank." It does have some basis in human biology. 

The husband's sex rank shot through the roof and in a weird, backwards way, made him ten times attractive to his wife. He ceased to be her boring husband and for the first time in a long time she remembered how desirable he was and still is. 

This kind of sexual one-upmanship has turned many a wayward around and brought them back to their mate.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I enjoyed it but found it really made light of the devastation of infidelity. I also didn't like how he was so willing to take her back - even though I know that's very often the case. It still pisses me off - she had no consequences for what she did, and I thought he was spineless.

But Ryan Gosling is HOT. And I'm a straight dude.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Actually this is called "upping the sex rank." It does have some basis in human biology.
> 
> The husband's sex rank shot through the roof and in a weird, backwards way, made him ten times attractive to his wife. He ceased to be her boring husband and for the first time in a long time she remembered how desirable he was and still is.
> 
> This kind of sexual one-upmanship has turned many a wayward around and brought them back to their mate.


I realize this is the CWI page, and this discussion may help in that regard.

It seems that the point in the quote above is a subtle difference in the way genders deal with PAs. I agree that it is a "sex rank" thing.

The wife is MORE interested after finding out that another woman has had sex with her BH.

As a man I would be LESS interested in a woman after finding out she had sex with another man. Maybe my bias is slanted because I was a BH too.

Maybe men are hard wired to despise PAs more than women. 

Maybe women are more competetive to keep men that are attractive (validated) with other women.

Art does reflect reality.

Just an observation.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

On a different note, I recently watched Emma Stone in Easy A, and between that and Zombieland I think I'm in love with her.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Lovemytruck said:


> I realize this is the CWI page, and this discussion may help in that regard.
> 
> It seems that the point in the quote above is a subtle difference in the way genders deal with PAs. I agree that it is a "sex rank" thing.
> 
> ...


I agree. And I have to say that the whole "sex rank" thing, and the notion of upping that to make your wife want you back after she's screwed some other guy just sickens the hell out of me.

I did the 180 naturally after DD (I didn't even know there was such a thing) and it definitely made my stbxww want me back. In fact it was remarkably powerful. I think it's utterly disgusting that it works that way in a wayward woman's head. Of course I did not want her back anyway, so I guess that sucks for her. I did it strictly to regain my manhood - to know that I'm not some undesirable loser. I proved to myself that I could, even as a recently separated father of 2, attract beautiful women who wanted to have sex with me. Now that I know I can, I have zero interest in women. I'm sure that will change, but as of right now, the last thing I want is a relationship.


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## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

Healer said:


> ...I proved to myself that I could, even as a recently separated father of 2, attract beautiful women who wanted to have sex with me. Now that I know I can, I have zero interest in women. I'm sure that will change, but as of right now, the last thing I want is a relationship.


Knowing you are attractive is part of the healing. So glad you feel that part of it.

Sounds like you are not seeing the benefits of a spouse. It is interesting how we heal in different aspects.

It seems that the trust is the hardest part to recover. I am not talking about trust for a WS, but trust in any future relationship.

I went back into a second marriage. Trust is still my demon. I will never trust blindly again. My challenge is to trust enough to have peace, and to allow the relationship to be filled with love.

Relationships require risk. It is easy to understand why we become risk adverse.

Hopefully you don't feel that you are missing something because of fear. Looking at your join date makes me wonder if you will feel differently as you sift through your challenges.

I hope your happiness is not based on your feelings toward women. Hope you don't feel empty. It seems to me that having someone to share my life with is a reward worth taking the risk.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It helps me understand myself a little better.

I still think Marissa's character should have been Steve's character's focus. Lol!


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## hard_to_detach (Jun 17, 2013)

I had watched this a couple years ago with my wife. At the time it was a decent flick and we both liked it. This thread made me think about it and how I would view it in the situation I am in now. I watched it last night....

Why in the world did he offer to move out? I agree with an earlier post, there needed to be a scene where she acknowledged that all of the chaos was caused by her. I did enjoy watching him be coached back into the dating world and the confidence he had after his first sex with another woman.

It is interesting how you pick up on different things when you watch a movie or read a book at different points in your life. This movie has a lot of parallels for me now. It is a good portrayal of what can go on in this situation though. I'll probably watch it again in a couple years to see how I feel about it then.


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## tristeza (May 23, 2013)

I saw it recently while dealing with my husband's affair. Very painful to watch the husband's pain. It seems like everything I watch on TV has some bit about infidelity that triggers an emotional flashback for me. It's sad that so much of our "entertainment" today. deals with infidelity and documentaries on spousal murders motivated by affairs.


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