# Cheating husband, i need major help and advice



## MOTHER OF 1 (May 5, 2015)

i have been with my husband going on 4 years an since the beginning he has been lying and cheating on me. When the relationship started it was amazing sex everyday sometimes 4-5 times a day... months past and we moved in with each other everything was still great. i got great so from there things started to go downhill, of course the sex slowed down i was working overnight and he worked during the day which wasnt bad because we did see each other it was great. over the next years he started cheating i have found pictures in his phone of him and girls kissing, girls privates parts, him sending pictures of his private part he is registered on so many dating sites, i found conversations between him and girls saying one was pregnant but she got an abortion an he was hurt because he wanted his child with her he has told other women he loves them , he has deny our son to other women saying he doesnt have kids and he single. he always meeting new women texting them or telling on facebook that he really likes them an wants to make a relationship with them, when i asked why he had put me through all of this he say it was my fault because i slowed down having sex with him an i never gave him attention. he was upset that i went back to school to finish my nursing degree saying it was selfish that i go to work during the day and school at night an not at home with him an my son. i have completely limited having sex with because he still has never told me the truth of if he has had sex with any of these an i dont want an STD so i he may get sex 1-2 times a week if that. he has even got a girls name tattooed on him to try and prove to her that he wanted to be with her. we have been to counseling an he has promised so many times to change but still continues act the same way i have left him 4 times but i always comes back because i really want to change my marriage an get it back to how it was or something close to that with trust. but i am getting to a point im tired an over it i have cried long enough and can longer take myself through this pain. i dont know how to let it all go an move forward i dont know how to cope with it still hurts so bad and when he does things like continuously its pouring salt on an open wound. I NEED MAJOR HELP AND DECENT ADVICE BECAUSE I KNOW NO LONGER KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO FEEL ABOUT MY HUSBAND OR MY MARRIAGE.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Divorce.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Divorce.


Ditto. Your H is seriously pathetic. Please believe you can do better. Because you can.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

What can you do but get rid of him. Hes lying cheating and deceiving you is there anything else he can do to you. He keeps running back because your allowing him to. He also got someone else pregnant. Its the lowest of the low. Please divorce this man and get on with your life.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

MOTHER OF 1 said:


> i have been with my husband going on 4 years an since the beginning he has been lying and cheating on me. When the relationship started it was amazing sex everyday sometimes 4-5 times a day... months past and we moved in with each other everything was still great. i got great so from there things started to go downhill, of course the sex slowed down i was working overnight and he worked during the day which wasnt bad because we did see each other it was great. over the next years he started cheating i have found pictures in his phone of him and girls kissing, girls privates parts, him sending pictures of his private part he is registered on so many dating sites, i found conversations between him and girls saying one was pregnant but she got an abortion an he was hurt because he wanted his child with her he has told other women he loves them , he has deny our son to other women saying he doesnt have kids and he single. he always meeting new women texting them or telling on facebook that he really likes them an wants to make a relationship with them, when i asked why he had put me through all of this he say it was my fault because i slowed down having sex with him an i never gave him attention. he was upset that i went back to school to finish my nursing degree saying it was selfish that i go to work during the day and school at night an not at home with him an my son. i have completely limited having sex with because he still has never told me the truth of if he has had sex with any of these an i dont want an STD so i he may get sex 1-2 times a week if that. he has even got a girls name tattooed on him to try and prove to her that he wanted to be with her. we have been to counseling an he has promised so many times to change but still continues act the same way i have left him 4 times but i always comes back because i really want to change my marriage an get it back to how it was or something close to that with trust. but i am getting to a point im tired an over it i have cried long enough and can longer take myself through this pain. i dont know how to let it all go an move forward i dont know how to cope with it still hurts so bad and when he does things like continuously its pouring salt on an open wound. I NEED MAJOR HELP AND DECENT ADVICE BECAUSE I KNOW NO LONGER KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO FEEL ABOUT MY HUSBAND OR MY MARRIAGE.


Your H no longer wants to be with you. His actions are very clear and he doesn't hide it. However he is a major coward and will not take the step of asking you for a divorce. If I am wrong, he is a major dirt bag who doesn't know how to treat a woman or what marriage is.
Please get yourself a lawyer. Do not warn him, just simply serve him with divorce papers. Get all your financials, etc organised, place to live etc first and just go. If you stay with him any longer your self esteem will be in the gutter, get out now!


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

This is easy. Of course you should get a divorce!


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## letsbenice (Apr 29, 2015)

It sounds like you do not know what to do, but obviously the answer is clear. What is it that is holding you back in making the only choice you have been left with? Economics, loneliness, what's the issue?


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## Chas (Apr 2, 2015)

> i have cried long enough and can longer take myself through this pain. i dont know how to let it all go an move forward i dont know how to cope with it still hurts so bad and when he does things like continuously its pouring salt on an open wound.


Everyone is simply telling you to divorce him because:

His behavior is one of the worst ever seen on this site.

He is flagrantly pursuing other women with no regard for you and not even trying to hide it.

He will never change his ways no matter how many times he tells you he will.

He will be/is a terrible father and influence on your child.

To get your life back you need to do the 180 and file for divorce. He will then tell you he loves you but it will be a lie. He just wants a comfortable home and wife to come home to when he's not out chasing women.

It will hurt at first because you are in love with what he once was, and will never be again. 
Do you have any friends to confide in or help you? Getting out of your home should be the first step, if possible.


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## dash74 (Jan 3, 2015)




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## lovingme (May 6, 2015)

*Re:*

It may be best to let him go and see co-parenting classes. How are you coping with all that has happened? Im in a similar situation now, and i can tell you it is better to get away for a bit, get a clear mind, and think about what is best for you.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Why is he still breathing?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Divorce.


:iagree:

And learn to RAQ. (Run Away! *QUICK*!)


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

There are multiple issues described in your post and some people would mistakenly describe your husbands behavior as the main issue. It's not.

The huge glaring issue you need to address is why in the blazing hell would you tolerate this? 

My prescription is 1. ditch the loser and 2. get counseling to fix yourself so you never accept this behavior again.

Good luck.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You cannot get your marriage back to where it used to be when it was good, if it ever was good. That's gone.

Having sex 1-2 times a week will not save you from catching an STD if he has one. Stop having sex with this guy.

Why are you even still with him? Get a divorce. Then get yourself into counseling.


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## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

Is there another side to this story?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

What? Some side that would defend his behaviour? Really?


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## MOTHER OF 1 (May 5, 2015)

thanks everyone for responding.

and to answer some your questions i dont have any friends or family where i live i moved to another city with him an i have established a great job and just finished school so i wouldn't want to move back with my family. so it makes even harder because i have no one but his family and they keep telling me to forgive and work my marriage out but i just really dont want to work on anything its too far gone. i have been looking for other living arrangements so far so good. an i think why i was staying is because im in love with what he once again knowing it will never get back to that point again. i just cant believe i have dealt with this for so long thats not the type of person i am. and as far as my confidence yea thats gone out the window i do need to get myself into counseling to rebuild myself an to be happy again. an to the person that asked is there another side to this story what other side do you need? isnt one side enough i have never cheated on him i have always been faithful and honest with him. always been loyal to him.


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