# Im drowning!!



## Vela (Sep 10, 2018)

Hi, My marriage isn't looking good here,#1.Perverted and disrespectful photographer #2.His friends have atk me on why my husband chose me for his wife, to top it off my significant other say's they are his friend's and I need to accept them #3.I recently was diagnosed with medical issues I feel I have no support from my husband he say's I'm AFFLICTED .


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

It seems that many women and men marry a person despite his flaws thinking he or she will change after marriage, only to find out that they do not. I assume he had the same friends and attitude before you married? I am constantly puzzled how people can marry others that have such character flaws. Maybe love is truly blind. It has been scientifically shown to blind you to the flaws of the person you love. This is an actual reason why many women in India prefer an arranged marriage. Their parents are not blinded to the flaws of the potential mates.

You have what you saw before you married and have little recourse other than divorce. My wife fell ill on our wedding night. It changed my life. I had a college scholarship and was majoring in a field I wanted to be in since I was 14. Then my wife became bedridden for 1.5 years. However, I manned up and quit school to take on a full time job to pay all the medical bills. No sex for most of that time either. I did not cheat on her and I arranged for parents and siblings to be with here when I was working. At one time I had 3 jobs, a full time one, a night job and a weekend job since we owed a lot of money to doctors and hospitals. I did what a mature man does.

We are married 46 years. I never went out with my friends after I married. When able to, my wife and I went out with other couples since we were not single anymore so no clubs where girls and alcohol are temptations. If my wife did not like one of my friends, I stopped seeing that friend. However, 95% of my friends were like me, nice guys and easy going. They loved my wife and we had a goo time with them an their wives. His is what you do when you marry. If you want to keep your single life and friends, do not marry. Your husband has a lot of growing up to do and it does not sound like he loves you but is too lazy to divorce since he has a roof over his head and a woman at home to cook, clean and wash his clothes. Sweet deal for him. 

As for the afflicted part, he is an ass. People get sick so dump him while you can. My wife and I are old and know that there will be many medical problems requiring caring for each other. Suspending your life to be with your loved one recovering from medical problems, in a wheel chair, etc.. My wife is handicapped and yet it does not matter a bit to me.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Vela said:


> Hi, My marriage isn't looking good here,#1.Perverted and disrespectful photographer #2.His friends have atk me on why my husband chose me for his wife, to top it off my significant other say's they are his friend's and I need to accept them #3.I recently was diagnosed with medical issues I feel I have no support from my husband he say's I'm AFFLICTED .


You are afflicted - with a sub-standard spouse.

Could you provide us with more context, please?


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## Vela (Sep 10, 2018)

Going on 5 yrs into this marriage I'm overwhelmed my husband is still not being suportive 😢 I have moved to a different state for medical help about a month now When i found out at ER on one of MRI showed black spot to my vertebrae yes it could mean alot of different results my main concern is since i have had prior cancer the Dr. explained that the black spots could be possible cancer Which i pray it hasn't returned.I have already had a CT just waiting on results from The Cancer Institute.CT was very emotional for me not having him by my side holding my hand for support but i am not alone my oldest daughter resides in this state and she is being 100 suportive.On my prior forum i mentioned on my husband having some trashy friends that i dislike due to them being disrespectful,well today my husband say to me he will be helping them ,I blew up angered but didn't say a word to him and hope I'm not being immature and selfish but i say to my self what about me why don't he worry and run to me for support.


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