# no time or.....?



## Antonius (Aug 21, 2010)

we have a fresh new born relationship....

and my wife likes to have people around her... I really don't mind that. but so now and then I miss our little moments together. even if it was once a week a movie or a few times a walk around the block or just a simple dinner... 

sometimes she reacts positive on the invite but mostly she says 'no' ...or something is going on that she has to chancel it.... sigh! 

with so many people over (visitors or the kids friends...we have 5 kids) your longing sometimes for a private moment with her! 
I let her free in everything what she does... but I think it's acceptable that she aswell spends some time with me ...right? whenever she is ready.... 

tips, sugestions please!


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Planning is key.

My wife and I have a steady date to walk together every Saturday morning. rain or shine. We also plan one movie per month, assuming there is a movie we want to see. if there isn't, we agree on a rental and set aside a Sunday afternoon.

Unless a kid's arm is falling off, the plans can not be canceled.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

My wife and I have a firm every other night at least 1 hour us time. We go into our room and lock the door. Our kiddos (we have 3 with a 4th on the way) know that unless the world is coming to an end they are to leave us alone. That has strengthened our marriage on so many different levels. One thing that will help with intimacy is spend that time together nude. You don't have to have sex each time, but just spend it holding each other in the nude. You don't HAVE to do it that way, but it's just an option.

Remember, your kids will generally only live with you for 18 years or so. Your wife/husband will live with you even when the kids are gone. If your relationship is not strong now, once the kids go it will be like living with a roommate! 

We also go out once a month on a date together. Sometimes we go out with friends, sometimes we go out alone. But it's important yall get out without the kids once in a while!


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## BrooksPublicationCom (Jun 29, 2010)

Hi,

The main relationship that children see 
as they grow up is the relationship between
their mom and dad.

Children see how their parents relate to 
one another and they will model more of 
what their parents do than what their 
parents say to them.

My wife and I made a commitment to have a 
strong family life but to accomplish this we
had to have a strong husband and wife life.
Everything else would flow from our primary
relationship as husband and wife.

To have a strong marriage means that you have 
to spend some time with just each other.Marrige
is an investment of time,emotionals and
commitment.

Not only have my wife and I benefited form this
investment but our children,family and friends 
have benefited.

One of the most important things that a husband 
and wife can give to each other is the gift of 
time.

The Very Best To You,
Brooks


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

Chris Taylor said:


> Planning is key.


There is nothing else really needing to be said. 

In this scenario, it's all planning.

I wish you well.


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## Antonius (Aug 21, 2010)

aaaah, I almost drooled when I saw the tips... 

when I ask her to have a quiet time with me ....she usually say's "no" ....yeah once in 2 weeks I ask her out ....for a dinner or a movie... and I really look forward to that...

but it's not enough for me.... I see she is happy what she has now... she ain't complaining... but I'm not happy! I wish I could just deal with the situation and relax... sigh!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You need to communicate better about how important it is to you, you need to ask her what she's getting from all that interaction that she can't get from you, and you need to make time with you more appealing than time with neighbors.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

Number one, it sounds like your wife needs to feel important. Number two, it sounds like she needs a sense of accomplishment.

You, on the other hand, need time with your wife.

Because of how she is, what you want sounds demanding of her as your wife than it is fulfilling to her as a person. 

One possible solution is to find something to do that you can both enjoy. It might not always be quiet or intimate or just the two of you around. There are more things to do than a movie or a walk. I know you enjoy those things but if you get involved with things she likes to do, she may rediscover how much she enjoys your company and become more open to spending quiet and intimate times with you. I like going to movies and walks like you do, but I also enjoy kicking my husband's butt in Scrabble. And yes, I like the time we spend together when he beats me at other things. The thing is, your wife may not be ready to slow her mind down just because you want her to. So challenge her sometimes. Excite her sometimes. And take her to the movies sometimes.


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