# Advice



## WaterLili (Feb 6, 2016)

Minor conundrum here. I have a acquaintance that wants to know the source of something material that’s has special meaning myself. Is it horrible not to share where I got it? They’ve asked a lot about it and I’ve tried to black hole it but the subtle hints aren’t being picked up. Anyone good at these siduations?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

HUH????????


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

This post makes me picture you in a dark trench coat and a lowered top hat, hands deep in pockets. Why the vagueness?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

WaterLili said:


> Minor conundrum here. I have a acquaintance that wants to know the source of something material that’s has special meaning myself. Is it horrible not to share where I got it? They’ve asked a lot about it and I’ve tried to black hole it but the subtle hints aren’t being picked up. Anyone good at these siduations?


You spelled situations wrong.
Tell them to mind their ****ing business.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The next time they ask say "I'm sorry; but, I can't share where I got it. You understand (in a kind, slightly conspiratorial - slightly imploring tone). If they say "No, I don't understand blah blah blah", simply say "Well, I don't know what to tell you then". Case closed.

No, it isn't horrible of you not to share. They can google.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> You spelled situations wrong.
> Tell them to mind their ****ing business.


And, you missed the other typos.>


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Your something material won't be as special if they glomp on and copy/duplicate. I have a friend (innocently not realizing, I think) who does this, but does then not respect my 'ownership' of the idea/thing and cheapens its value.

I like @Blondilocks, "I'm sorry, but i can't.....". Don't even have to add anything whispered.

I have said, "I wish I could help you, but I can't, I've promised."--if the person asking is not worth it to me to share my special thing with her. You can't because you don't wish to....and promised yourself you'd stand firm.

This may be more of a chick thing?


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## VibrantWings (Sep 8, 2017)




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## WaterLili (Feb 6, 2016)

I didn’t mean to be vague it’s just simple. Someone wants to know we’re I got a special bracelet. Usually I share where get everything but I know they will run out and get it as soon as I tell them. I know it doesn’t matter in the end but I was wondering if its ok not to share time to time. I got a good laugh at the trench coat description.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

WaterLili said:


> Minor conundrum here. I have a acquaintance that wants to know the source of something material that’s has special meaning myself. Is it horrible not to share where I got it? They’ve asked a lot about it and I’ve tried to black hole it but the subtle hints aren’t being picked up. Anyone good at these siduations?


You could just state the truth: I really don't want to say because this is very special to me, I went through a lot of work to acquire it, and the fact that it's relatively unique is a big part of why it is so special to me. 

Saying something like "in this particular case I never reveal the source" would work. If you're not comfortable doing that, if it's not too late, you can always lie and say it was a gift, or it was in the family, or if it's something you made "I lost the specs long ago" I don't know where it came from, etc...

The fact that they are hinting around instead of outright asking you indicates that whatever it is, they know it's sensitive. (BTW, I'm dying to know what this thing is too now, LOL)

You can make a joke: "I would tell you but then I'd have to kill myself..."


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> The next time they ask say "I'm sorry; but, I can't share where I got it. You understand (in a kind, slightly conspiratorial - slightly imploring tone). If they say "No, I don't understand blah blah blah", simply say "Well, I don't know what to tell you then". Case closed.
> 
> No, it isn't horrible of you not to share. They can google.


Yes, they can google, whilst you giggle.

Keeping them in the dark on this, your secret, your secreted lover 'still hidden'.
That secret, the gift from one so loved, one hidden from him/them...not from me.

Fingerprints tipped me off, you off before. The new man, never to know that you were loved.
At least once before.

Thank you for asking for advice, not advise.

I did advise, you did ask for advice.

I wish TAM would ask for 'Ad'vice. The advice from 'Hims' I find insulting. 

But, ya gotta eat crow to publish Cardinal thoughts.

Just Sayin'

Sayin too much, yet again.




The Typist- too many teas, not enough zzz's. equals me being Jittery at the keyboard.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I went back to read older threads you started. Apparently your husband behaved inappropriately with a friend of yours. You also said he has a drinking problem. Now that I have some background, I assume this latest thread has nothing to do with either of those issues. I hope those problems were resolved to your satisfaction.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Just because someone asks a question -- or keeps asking -- doesn't mean you have to answer. Say it's a secret. Say it's special. Say whatever you want to but don't let someone else's pushiness influence what you do.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

WaterLili said:


> I didn’t mean to be vague it’s just simple. Someone wants to know we’re I got a special bracelet. Usually I share where get everything but I know they will run out and get it as soon as I tell them. I know it doesn’t matter in the end but I was wondering if its ok not to share time to time. I got a good laugh at the trench coat description.



When they ask then say "why do you want to know? So you can go buy one?" see their response, then say, 'Er well 'no', perhaps you should have your own style, stop copying mine."


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

You don't have to tell - but I'd suggest thinking about it. Why not? It doesn't make yours less special, if anything the opposite because a friend is going out of her way to copy you. (sincerest form of flattery an all that..)


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

What works well normally is "I'd have to kill you if I told you" and then follow it up with "just joking", and then with "actually, not really - I would have to kill you brutally" etc etc. They will get the message.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

I would probably lie in this situation to avoid any confrontation or hard feelings. Something like, "I got it at a flea market in FarAwayCity." Jewellery is sold everywhere, so it would be easy to have picked it up some place randomly.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Tell them it was handcrafted from rare meteorite for you by one-legged, blind monks, and its #3 of 3, and you had to trek barefooted to a desolate mountaintop to get it.


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