# Need women's perspective



## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

My wife has let herself go by gaining weight, not exercising and not watching what she eats. Yet, for entertainment, she loves to watch "Biggest Loser" on TV. She sees overweight people making significant changes every week. Yet she won't do anything for herself. 

I've asked her if she wants to go for walks or join me at the fitness center (the same fitness chain that sponsors the show). She has yet to take me up on it. 

Thoughts?


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

No thoughts???


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Has she had a check up lately? Thyroid problems? Insulin resistant?

Your wife sounds a lot like me on the weight/eating. Unfortunately I now have a health problem which prevent me from doing strenuous exercise. But, even when healthy, exercising (specifically at the gym) bored me to tears. As for overeating....stress will cause me to clear the pantry and fridge. You may want to have a nice talk with your wife, and really find out what is going on with her.


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

She had a physical recently. Her Dr suggested she start walking. Hasn't happened. No issues with blood glucose so far.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

try suggesting just a walk outside together (with no hint of lose weight, just time together  )


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

woodstock said:


> try suggesting just a walk outside together (with no hint of lose weight, just time together  )


Tried that many times. She is fairly sedentary. While I'm the active one.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Scare her with all the diseases related to overweight! 

I have this theory, our organs are designed not for overweight bodies. 

If you are overweight, then your organs have to overwork, you can't let your computer overrun, same thing, you can't let your body over work, it gets worn out sooner. 

When they are old, they are sick, nobody wants to take care of them, can't eat all the good food anymore, can't go anywhere, what a shame!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Get a big dog and walk it 2hrs a day?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm really thinking the problem lies within her mind. Problems with self-esteem? Stress? Has she been to a therapist?

It won't do any good to nag at her about her weight. For example, I know I am now overweight. I am well aware of the problem. And, quiet frankly I'm healthier than most of the skinny people I know--including those who stay at the gym a lot. Sad but true. Stress triggers my eating binges--my therapist and I have had little luck with that one though. At least I've got the problem narrowed down. I'm hoping that's half the battle.

Does your wife make herself look attractive (other than the weight)? Even with my weight everyone comments on how nice I look when I go out. My hair is styled, makeup on, nails done, and fashionable clothes on. If you wife is also slouching in these, there's definitely more going on. 

Hope you find a solution since it's obviously bothering you more than it does your wife.


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Get a big dog and walk it 2hrs a day?


We have a 70 lb labrador retriever and a 30 lb mutt. I walk them most every morning.


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

827Aug said:


> I'm really thinking the problem lies within her mind. Problems with self-esteem? Stress? Has she been to a therapist?
> 
> It won't do any good to nag at her about her weight. For example, I know I am now overweight. I am well aware of the problem. And, quiet frankly I'm healthier than most of the skinny people I know--including those who stay at the gym a lot. Sad but true. Stress triggers my eating binges--my therapist and I have had little luck with that one though. At least I've got the problem narrowed down. I'm hoping that's half the battle.
> 
> ...


I tried to get her to go to a marriage counselor. I went first and she never scheduled.

When she wants to dress up, she looks nice. But, she most often likes to wear baggy t-shirts and lounging pants. She wears similar or flannel pajamas to bed. Not very attractive.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

txhunter54 said:


> When she wants to dress up, she looks nice. But, she most often likes to wear baggy t-shirts and lounging pants. She wears similar or flannel pajamas to bed. Not very attractive.


She's just not feeling sexy! It's something going on in her mind. She would probably benefit from individual counseling. Don't know how for you to convince her of that though...... Do the two of you talk about the problem?


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Maybe she has gotten comfortable being married, and has gotten lazy about her appearance. She might think she doesn't have to put forth the effort since she is married.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Is she depressed? Do you criticize her about her weight?

I think you need to let her know that you are concerned about her health and want her around for as long as possible. Assure her that it has nothing to do with her looks, you think she is beautiful, just her health.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

DelinquentGurl, 

I don't talk about her weight. She has seen how I've made lifestyle changes and had to buy new clothes because the old clothes don't fit anymore (too big). I ask her if she would like to go to workout with me. When she says "No", I leave it at that. Same for when I ask her to go for a walk or take the dogs for a walk. 

I do get frustrated when we are selecting a restaurant to go to with another couple and she suggests Italian. I can't eat pasta as it affects my blood sugar and there may not be any good alternatives on the menu. And I get tired of eating chicken caesar salads as that is often the only decent alternative.


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## GemGem (Mar 16, 2011)

She needs a goal, something to work towards, look forward to and get excited again. She's bored and in her comfort zone. So hard to get out of comfort zones when there's nothing to go to that excited you


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Good lord this was me. I put on 25-30 pounds due to emotional eating and fat/frumpy clothes became my uniform. To fix the lack of sex in my life I started eating right and working out. That was my motivation. I wanted a husband that was attracted to me. It wasn't until AFTER I got thin that he admitted that I'd let myself go. Now I know the truth.

I have no advice just sympathy. I still struggle with emotional eating so it's a daily battle to not eat junk food. Losing weight is HARD! My hormones and blood sugar are also all messed up from all those years of unhealthy eating.


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