# Why do we....



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Why do we pine for the woman who won't love us anymore? I find myself pining for my stbxw who told me she doesn't love me. I have to tell myself that the woman I pine for is not there anymore, she has been replaced by another woman. Even though she still gives me mixed signals, wants to hug me and kiss me. Agh!


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## mike82 (Oct 24, 2011)

i feel you on that. what i did that worked for me was i told myself that the woman i married and had three kids with is dead. i went through my grief and pain as though my wife was gone forever, she died and someone else who looks just like her took her place.


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## CruxAve (Dec 30, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Why do we pine for the woman who won't love us anymore? I find myself pining for my stbxw who told me she doesn't love me. I have to tell myself that the woman I pine for is not there anymore, she has been replaced by another woman. Even though she still gives me mixed signals, wants to hug me and kiss me. Agh!


We miss what we once had. It's natural. Just don't show it. Get your mind right. Take your good 'ol time taking care of yourself. Find joy in life apart from others. You'll become more attractive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Being attractive is the key to it all. 

My sister gave me a book called "The secret". In a nutshell the book states that all success is based on being attractive and not always by looks. Money, Love, Job....etc.

Not sure I understand how when going through tough times you can look attractive, but if someone can figure it out let me know.

It does make sense.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

mike82 said:


> i feel you on that. what i did that worked for me was i told myself that the woman i married and had three kids with is dead. i went through my grief and pain as though my wife was gone forever, she died and someone else who looks just like her took her place.


I like your perspective. I was looking at photos of my wife and me from a few years ago when she looked like a completely different person. I don't know where she went, but has been gone for a couple of years now.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Why do we pine for the woman who won't love us anymore? I find myself pining for my stbxw who told me she doesn't love me.


i think we like to torture ourselves for some reason.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I think it is more my mind torturing me. We were together all in all for eleven years, the past week my mind keeps replaying random trivial things we've done, like go grocery shopping, etc. Really? Even my subconscious won't leave me alone. Great.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> my mind keeps replaying random trivial things we've done, like go grocery shopping, etc. Really? Even my subconscious won't leave me alone. Great.


same here.

makes things harder, thats for sure.

why cant we just shut things off like a tv?


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

That would be nice, or at least a "mute" button.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

This is me said:


> Being attractive is the key to it all.
> 
> My sister gave me a book called "The secret". In a nutshell the book states that all success is based on being attractive and not always by looks. Money, Love, Job....etc.
> 
> ...


It's actually not difficult at all.

But, you must find peace first.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

I call those the slideshows, I still get them after 7 months divorced. It's amazing and you know what the commonality is for me in all of these quick pics: red flags.

That is what is plaguing me. All the red flags my sub-conscious picked up on that I refused to look at. But I did look at them, that's why they are there. Now I can look without fear. The worst had happened.

Keep trucking along.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

My memories are not really ones of the last six months to a year, they are prior to that....the little ones that shouldn't stand out but does. Maybe because it's just my way of grieving and moving on.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Why do we pine for the woman who won't love us anymore?


Because people always want what they can't have.

Stop being there for her to kiss and play games with, Proud. She told you she wants a divorce, so accept her decision, but don't stick around to let her walk all over you. Give her what she wants. Exit stage left.


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