# Is it hard for a woman?



## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

To have sex without making love? My wife says that she can not just have sex it is always making love. There are times where I would just like to have monkey sex so to speak and not be all soft and romantic. Dont get me wrong I do like the candles the massages the jazz music and the bubble baths.

There are times I just want her to come up to me and tell me she wants to get crazy and do this or that. I would love for her to talk to me about something she has had a fantasy about.

IF I left it up to her we would be making love every time quietly with the lights off. There would never be toys or oils or lotions. No sexy outfits. it would be just quiet love making than to sleep.


I want more than just the quiet love making is that too much to ask?


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

Depends on the woman, I guess.

I personally like some variety and there's no way on earth I would insist only on the lovey-dovey stuff. In fact most of the time I much prefer "monkey sex". 

However, I am perfectly capable of having, and enjoying, sex with a man I don't love so maybe I am odd for a woman.

There's nothing wrong with wanting variety, but if your wife is the shy, romantic type then it is unlikely she's suddenly going to jump you from behind and belabour you with a riding crop. You will probably need to lead the way when trying out the type of stuff you might be interested in and see if she opens up given time.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Personally I'm in to monkey sex more than making love (it's nice occasionally especially when I'm upset about something, not really into the romantic settings though). I think it really depends on the individual though.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I like both. Sometimes in the same session.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Happyquest said:


> I want more than just the quiet love making is that too much to ask?


I guess this depends on the woman. If she always says no than I guess it is too much to ask for her.

I doubt she will be interested in our opinion of what she should do.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

All depending on the mood ?!? 

Making love is nice but it seems as if lately it's more the ummm ....... " let's get down and dirty sex "I've been preferring 

I guess with the 2 young boys it's often the quick and hard sex now rather than prior to having our little ones ..... we actually had the time for all the candles , massages and umm slow love making stuff


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## Depth.Inside (Jul 5, 2012)

I agree, it can go both with my wife too. She REALLY likes to have full on, hard, mind blowing sex. 

Sometimes it may start out slow(er) and soft but it doesnt take long and there is a lot of grunting going on.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Some women are like this when they don't feel connected to their partner outside the bedroom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrHappy (Oct 23, 2008)

Happyquest said:


> To have sex without making love? My wife says that she can not just have sex it is always making love. There are times where I would just like to have monkey sex so to speak and not be all soft and romantic. Dont get me wrong I do like the candles the massages the jazz music and the bubble baths.


*Squeak* *Squeak* Good girl hamster talking. Ignore it.


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## lace5262 (Oct 13, 2010)

To me personally, it is ALL making love no matter what we're doing because it's US, we love each other, and the sex is an expression of that. 

I prefer the dirty, monkey sex. It's makes up the majority of our sex life - that's what we like.

The things you listed are romance to me, and maybe I'm odd, but I don't want romance in the bedroom. Jazz music? Not for me, I'm more NIN - "Eff you like an animal".Candles - nope, I like black lights/strobe lights:lol:

IDK, we're very lovey dovey outside the bedroom, maybe that's why I'm like this?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The whole gentle "making love" thing may be fine occasionally (like on VD, or during recovery from a gunshot wound to the stomach), but hot monkey sex is what we seem to want most of the time, along with accompanying vocalizations. Though mood lighting and music are always nice options.


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## learning to love myself (Apr 18, 2013)

I'm more into the raw, dirty, spank me and take me now type of sex, I seem to be getting more like this the older I get. 

I guess every once in awhile candles and soft music could be nice as long as he acts dominate and takes what he wants. 

What makes it all hot is that we love each other.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I like all sorts. I can have sex with a man that I don't love and have had FWB in the past.

My partner is the more romantic in our relationship, in and outside the bedroom and I am going more outside of my comfort zone to be more romantic for him. He talks about making love, I talk about having sex.

But we have a real mix, both love crazy monkey sex, I LOVE having the sort of sex that literally takes my breath away and makes me dizzy. We have plenty of slow love making as well. 
We have a quicky most mornings, he like the fast and furious start to the day, I like to send him off with a smile.

All that matters for you though OP is what your situation is with your wife. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that sexual desire and types are gender based.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

We usually cover them both if not during the actual act at least in the "afterglow". 

Unfortunately now we are limited to just quiet quickies as our 4 month old came with a built-in sexdar, which when it goes off causes a ping that resembles high decibel crying shrieks.. Her eviction from our bedroom is imminent.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Thanks for the advice. Tonight its going to be more on my terms and not so fluffy. Bring home some ropes and toys for tonight and going to fix dessert on her for my after dinner treat!


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