# Should I tell his wife, if he doesn't?



## raining (Dec 29, 2011)

I had a one night stand with a guy I met the week before Christmas. In the morning he told me he is married for 10 yrs and has two children (he doesn't wear a ring and never mentioned his family beforehand). I am extremely not ok to be involved in this. I am waiting for him to tell his wife, he said he wants to wait until after the holidays. 

Is it ok for me to tell her if he never gets around to it? Or if he says he tells her, to email her a short apology to ensure that she does in fact have the whole story?

My instinct is that I have a moral obligation to make sure she knows, but several people have told me I need to just forget it ever happened.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I agree with everything you said. This guy will never tell her so it is up to you since he was not honest and upfront with you. The OM's wife needs to know on multiple levels. You are doing the right thing.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

> In the morning he told me he is married for 10 yrs and has two children (he doesn't wear a ring and never mentioned his family beforehand).


Often a standard for a wayward, they have a memory lapse. 



> I am *extremely not ok* to be involved in this.


Great to hear this




> I am waiting for him to tell his wife, he said he wants to wait until after the holidays.


Bull***t, what's he going to say, that he intentionally went out to have sex with another woman or cheers honey I have a plaything on the side and your the backup plan. 



> Is it ok for me to tell her if he never gets around to it? Or if he says he tells her, to email her a short apology to ensure that she does in fact have the whole story?


Don't wait for him, send her a mail immediately , say who you are and mention he did not say he was married or wear a wedding ring. Apologise to her and state you will never see him or contact him again. 



> My instinct is that I have a moral obligation to make sure she knows, .


Absolutely and go in for and STD test 
.

Go permanent no contact on this guy.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

raining said:


> I had a one night stand with a guy I met the week before Christmas. In the morning he told me he is married for 10 yrs and has two children (he doesn't wear a ring and never mentioned his family beforehand). I am extremely not ok to be involved in this. *I am waiting for him to tell his wife,* he said he wants to wait until after the holidays.


Something doesn't add up here.
What do you mean, you are "waiting for him to tell his wife?" Do you know her? Are you still in touch with him? You say you met him the week before Christmas. So how would you even know her/that he's told her/not told her? Why are you still in touch with him if you are so against sleeping with married people?

I has a confused.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Eli-Zor said:


> Don't wait for him, send her a mail immediately , say who you are and mention he did not say he was married or wear a wedding ring. Apologise to her and state you will never see him or contact him again.


But how could she mail the wife if she says she only met this guy last week? How would she even know his wife/family/where he lives/their contacts?

:scratchhead:


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

also if you have any proof of the tryst then send it along as well, he will likely claim you are lying


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

> but several people have told me I need to just forget it ever happened.


Poor advice, so they are happy to let his wife suffer and people such as you be deceived by him



> But how could she mail the wife if she says she only met this guy last week? How would she even know his wife/family/where he lives/their contacts?


The poster mentioned she could email the wife , my assumption is she has the wife's email address. I agree the information provided is thin and there may be more to this than written


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

I'm with Jelly. If I had a one night stand and concealed my marriage and family from the other person once the fact that I was married came to light the last thing I would do would be to tell that person how to contact my spouse. Missing some critical info I think we are.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

raining said:


> Is it ok for me to tell her if he never gets around to it? Or if he says he tells her, to email her a short apology to ensure that she does in fact have the whole story?
> 
> My instinct is that I have a moral obligation to make sure she knows, but several people have told me I need to just forget it ever happened.


Yes it is ok. You are telling the truth to her. You aren't lying slandering or attacking her. You are telling the truth.

and it is truth she needs to know. For instance if he's done it with you, chances are very very good he's done it with others, and will do it again - meaning that he is exposing her to STDs from his various ONS partners.

She is also likely wondering if she is crazy suspecting something or if there is something she needs to know about. You'll be helping confirm to her that she is right.

So tell her and tell her ASAP.

Oh, a couple of other things: 
1. don't warn him or tell him you are going to do it.

2. stop talking to him. He's a creep who cheats on his wife. Why would you want a guy like him in your life in any form?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Am I right to assume that you are a single woman who is not presently involved in a committed relationship?


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## Kricket (May 10, 2011)

Okay, I am on board with the "something doesn't add up" theory.

Do you know his wife? Was this more than a one night stand and you want to tell her because you hope that she will leave him?

If all you say is true, I am still going to offer one other theory. What if she doesn't want to know? There are some women out there that do suspect their husbands of cheating and just prefer to keep their lives and family intact. If you bring it to her attention then she will have to deal with it. I am not saying that is right but be prepared that this is going to ruin her life and just because you come clean with her doesn't mean she will forgive you or give you the peace which you seek.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Kricket said:


> Okay, I am on board with the "something doesn't add up" theory.





sigma1299 said:


> I'm with Jelly. Missing some critical info I think we are.


Right? There is a major loophole here.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

> What if she doesn't want to know? There are some women out there that do suspect their husbands of cheating and just prefer to keep their lives and family intact. If you bring it to her attention then she will have to deal with it. I am not saying that is right but be prepared that this is going to ruin her life and just because you come clean with her doesn't mean she will forgive you or give you the peace which you seek.



The wife has a cheating husband, what she does with that information once it has been imparted to her is her business. Honesty is the best policy and the reason why affairs thrive is because far to many people don't practice honesty.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Did you ask him if he was Married or involved in a serious relationship - or were you just interested in the score. I think you BOTH need to get STD testing. When you go to tell his wife (not sure I agree with this due the lack of information you provided) what position are you going to take, I am the ***** who bedded your husband or I am the sweet niaeve young thing that your husband manipulated by lies into be bed - I am sure neither is true. 

I assume your single!

She needs to know but I think you need to spend more time reflecting on your actions, behaviors, and culpability.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Kricket said:


> Okay, I am on board with the "something doesn't add up" theory.
> 
> Do you know his wife? Was this more than a one night stand and you want to tell her because you hope that she will leave him?
> 
> If all you say is true, I am still going to offer one other theory. What if she doesn't want to know? There are some women out there that do suspect their husbands of cheating and just prefer to keep their lives and family intact. If you bring it to her attention then she will have to deal with it. I am not saying that is right but be prepared that this is going to ruin her life and just because you come clean with her doesn't mean she will forgive you or give you the peace which you seek.


she wants no more to do with him as she was duped into thinking he was single

and to say that she will ruin the marriage is false as it's already ruined and was likely ruined a while ago, doubtful that this was the husband's first ONS with another woman


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

raining said:


> I had a one night stand with a guy I met the week before Christmas. In the morning he told me he is married for 10 yrs and has two children (he doesn't wear a ring and never mentioned his family beforehand). I am extremely not ok to be involved in this. I am waiting for him to tell his wife, he said he wants to wait until after the holidays.
> 
> Is it ok for me to tell her if he never gets around to it? Or if he says he tells her, to email her a short apology to ensure that she does in fact have the whole story?
> 
> My instinct is that I have a moral obligation to make sure she knows, but several people have told me I need to just forget it ever happened.


I'm in agreement with those several people.
Why make your life difficult?

Beware of the advice you get here on this subject as most posters have been the victim of infidelity and their advice is highly biased.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

tacoma said:


> *Why make your life difficult?*
> 
> [/size]


gee, I don't know because it's the right thing to do and often doing the right thing isn't easy?


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## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I'm in agreement with those several people.
> Why make your life difficult?
> 
> Beware of the advice you get here on this subject as most posters have been the victim of infidelity and their advice is highly biased.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


But I think the people that have been a victim of infidelity are the perfect people to give advice in this situation. They are speaking from the wife's p.o.v in this situation. My husband has never physically cheated on me, but if he did I for sure would want to know so that I can make the decision for my life whether I want to continue to have someone like that in it, or move on and find someone that will love me completely....


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## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> gee, I don't know because it's the right thing to do and often doing the right thing isn't easy?


:iagree:


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Maybe he just said that it could stay a ONS.

Obviously, you don't know his family, or you would have known he was married and had kids. 

Is your intent on letting her know that you did not "know" he was married? Ease your moral obligations? That if you had known he was married, you would not have slept with him? (or anyone else as a ONS?)


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh gosh. Is this another poster who comes, says something and leaves. 

I hate post and runners.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Oh gosh. Is this another poster who comes, says something and leaves.
> 
> I hate post and runners.


Drive by shooters :2gunsfiring_v1:


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

GreenEyes said:


> But I think the people that have been a victim of infidelity are the perfect people to give advice in this situation. They are speaking from the wife's p.o.v in this situation. ....


Yes, they are speaking from the betrayed point of view.

This poster needs someone speaking from the unwitting OW point of view.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

morituri said:


> Drive by shooters :2gunsfiring_v1:


:rofl:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Yes, they are speaking from the betrayed point of view.
> 
> This poster needs someone speaking from the unwitting OW point of view.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And let's face it, there aren't a lot of those. 99% of of OW and OM know that the person they are carrying on with, is in fact, married/partnered, couple. 

This story still doesn't add up though.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I agree it doesn't add up. ONSs don't have contact information...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Especially the part about "I'm waiting to see if he will tell his wife."

HUH?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I know. And if it's a ONS, why care so much about what he does?

She most likely wasn't his ONLY ONS.


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## Kricket (May 10, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> she wants no more to do with him as she was duped into thinking he was single
> 
> and to say that she will ruin the marriage is false as it's already ruined and was likely ruined a while ago, doubtful that this was the husband's first ONS with another woman


I certainly did not mean it is the poster's fault. The husband is obviously a sleez but even the most naive of us know that a one-night stand with someone you don't know could result in such consequences. 

I was simply pointing out that if the wife doesn't want to know, she may end up blaming the poster for everything. If you want to be honest that is a good policy, but I think that you should really look at the situation closely before you decide to contact his wife. Be prepared that she may end up hating you and blaming you and not blaming her husband one bit. 

You can have 100 people on here tell you that you should tell her, but the fact is that they don't know her and how she will react. Do you really want some crazy wife blaming you for her sleezball husband's actions? Oh and now she knows who you are because you contacted her. Just be careful and look out for yourself. If you want to do the right thing and tell her, then find a way to do it anomynously.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Or it was more than a ONS and she's been dealing with him for awhile...
Or she's been his sidepiece for awhile and found out he has other OWs & wants revenge...
Or she knows the wife/is wife's friend...

Or all of the above and she wants to tell wifey so that Married Man gets off the fence about the marriage and ends up finally leaving wifey for her...


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

my OMW hates me and I couldn't care less, I did the right thing by telling her


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I agree with the above poster about getting a STD test, I'm sure your not the only mistress he's been with. The wife should know what you and he did. My ex h slept with and still does with any woman who will be with him, he is also married.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CWM0842 (Dec 8, 2011)

She could easily locate his wife's contact info even if he was a ons. She probably knows his last name, maybe where he lives. For all we know he mentioned what his wife does and her email address is on her employer's webpage. Finding contact info for someone nowadays is pretty easy. If they're listed in the yellow pages she could just call. All she really needs is his last name, assuming they don't live in a huge city and he doesn't have the most generic last name possible.


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## raining (Dec 29, 2011)

morituri said:


> Am I right to assume that you are a single woman who is not presently involved in a committed relationship?


To answer some of the questions

- I am single
- It was a one-night-stand
- I am not interested in getting with this guy again, due to his dishonesty
- I don't know his wife but I can get her contact from google
- I met the guy through a coworker, and assumed that because he was nice and friends with my friend he wouldn't omit crucial info like "I'm married." So it wasn't picking up a random at a bar, it was a friend of a friend. Probably not the best decision in retrospect.
- I have been in contact with him because I had to see him at a week-long event (the reason he was in town and not at home with his fam), I was pissed Felt the need to tell him how he damaged my self-esteem and also cuz I have been hassling him "When are you going to tell your wife... still waiting to hear you told your wife."

And Kricket, this is the major reason I'm not sure if I should contact her. I don't want to make a bigger mess:


> If all you say is true, I am still going to offer one other theory. What if she doesn't want to know? There are some women out there that do suspect their husbands of cheating and just prefer to keep their lives and family intact. *If you bring it to her attention then she will have to deal with it. I am not saying that is right but be prepared that this is going to ruin her life* and just because you come clean with her doesn't mean she will forgive you or give you the peace which you seek.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Not to sound like your mother, but it would be REALLY SMART to keep condoms on hand in case of another one night stand, or when starting a new relationship. I have this talk with my 17 year old all the time.

They can give you herpes, HVP, hepatitis A/B/C, AIDS, ect.. That are incurable. Also unplanned pregnancies happen as well.

But, please tell his wife what a jerk her husband is, she has a right to know. He will never tell her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

raining said:


> And Kricket, this is the major reason I'm not sure if I should contact her. I don't want to make a bigger mess:



You cant control the ripples created by others. But you should consider living by the Golden Rule.

If you have a husband/boyfriend (I suppose you dont right now), would you want to know his true nature?


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

First I'd go total NC with the guy there is nothing - zero - to be gained by communicating with him. All you really need to do is decide if you're going to tell the wife - or not. If you do and he's already done so you'll just be telling her what she already knows. If he hasn't, well then you'll be the harbinger of terrible news. 

Either way there's no way you come out of it with her having a good impression of you, fair or not that just isn't going to happen. He'll spin it at least enough to put enough doubt in her mind that you have some type of culpability that she's going to think you're - you know what she'll think. 

I honestly don't know what I'd do in your shoes - my natural tendency is to adopt the position to not put myself into other people's lives so I guess that's the way I lean. I do know that once you let that genie out of the bottle you can never put it back so be sure of your decision if you tell her. 

Oh BTW - nice friend you have to not let you know the dude was married.


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## raining (Dec 29, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Oh BTW - nice friend you have to not let you know the dude was married.


Ok here's the thing about that... I told her I was going on a date before hand, to check around like I normally would when I meet a new guy... And then after the date I asked her if she knew he was married... SHE HAD NO IDEA! See he is visiting and had been here 1 week before the date, working and hanging out every day with my friend... and never mentioned his family.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

Sorry, I don't see you as a victim.

Your an adult in the age of HIV, I assume this is not your first ONS, players have success because women like you ignore the huge and massive with flashing lights warning signs -that "Hooking Up" is stupid and dangerious. You were a willing and culpable particpant in this.

The only victim is your "Hook Up" is your ONS partner's wife and yes you had a hand in victiminzing her. You overlook the lies or don't question the ommissions......just a little homework on those you bed down will prevent a great deal of pain. 

You don't have the moral highground in this...both of you should be tested ASAP.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Don't be surprised if the wife calls you a crazy stalker. He looks like an experienced manipulator

@calif She can do as many ONS as she chooses to.Thats beside the point. She can chose to live the life she chooses as long as it does not effect others badly. We are not here to judge. The guy lied to her.


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## raining (Dec 29, 2011)

Anyway, regardless, I just don't know if it's right to contact her even anonymously. Like it might create a bigger mess for everyone. I wouldn't think twice about telling her if they were just dating, but now there are toddlers in the mix.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

So he wasn't a friend of her's but rather someone she just me also? Granted a week or so before you, but I wouldn't call that a "friend." 

Honestly the guy sounds like a slime ball. Assuming that everything is as you posted - and there's no reason not to - the guy lied to you and manipulated you only to bed you. I'd be pissed. I really think I would tell his wife just to spite the bastard. You might also be saving her life because that wasn't his first rodeo and sooner or later he's going to get something that antibiotics won't cure and give it to her.


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## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

raining said:


> Anyway, regardless, I just don't know if it's right to contact her even anonymously. Like it might create a bigger mess for everyone. I wouldn't think twice about telling her if they were just dating, but now there are toddlers in the mix.


She should still know so that she can make the decision for herself if he is someone she wants to spend *the rest of her life* with. Yes it will prolly create a mess, why wouldn't it? But overall she should know and it should be up to her how this marriage continues or ends...


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

raining said:


> even anonymously.
> 
> 
> > If you contact her don't do this!! It will make you look like a crazy stalker. If you do it - do it in a rage of indignation that the bastard lied to you and manipulated you. Stand up and say your H did this and didn't bother to even mention you - thought you should know.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

@*calif She can do as many ONS as she chooses to.Thats beside the point. She can chose to live the life she chooses as long as it does not effect others badly. We are not here to judge. The guy lied to her.*

@Warlock07...YOUR MISSING MY POINT...I am not judging her...all I am saying is that unless she does a little homework on the guys she dates this is going to happen again and again......look men lie for p*s*y.....we have since the dawn of time, some grow out of it - some don't, some respect and honor their marriage - some don't......its no suprise this guy lied to get into her pants married or not.....all I am saying is that she should have better sense, as all women should, to check on things, a little background before they bed a man....she is risking her life if she doesn't. 

As to telling the AH wife....I think a letter is the best approach as you can review and edit to the final product. Phone call and in-person allows for emotions on both sides to come up and the message would be lost........I would keep the letter simple, just the facts, date/time, didn't know he was married and if he has an unique physical feature usually covered by clothes I would add that detail.


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## raining (Dec 29, 2011)

> *unless she does a little homework on the guys* she dates this is going to happen again and again......look men lie for p*s*y.....we have since the dawn of time, some grow out of it - some don't, some respect and honor their marriage - some don't......its no suprise this guy lied to get into her pants married or not.....all I am saying is that she should have better sense, as all women should, to check on things, a little background before they bed a man....she is risking her life if she doesn't.


Don't you see though? There is one man here who did something.. and two women he lied to, me and the wife. So: Even if I MARRIED a man, had his two children, and was with him for 10 years straight (the guy's wife), he would STILL lie for sex! You might as well be telling the wife that _she_ should have known the guy was gonna lie!

At least, that's my thought process.


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## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

Twofaces said:


> Just find her and tell her. She has a right to know so that she can make the decision on how she wants to live her life. Be calm. Be rational. Give every single detsail What city. What event. The name of the other girl he was working with that you met him through, etc. The name of the hotel if there was one. If you went anywhere for dinner or drinks and if he paid with a credit card, the name of the place so that she can see it on the bill. Apologize profusely. Just contact this woman and tell her. Just do it. If it were you wouldnt you want to know if your husband was out hunting strange when you were at home with the children????
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:iagree: I couldn't agree more


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

raining said:


> Ok here's the thing about that... I told her I was going on a date before hand, to check around like I normally would when I meet a new guy... And then after the date I asked her if she knew he was married... SHE HAD NO IDEA! See he is visiting and had been here 1 week before the date, working and hanging out every day with my friend... and never mentioned his family.


What is the week long event he is there for? And why do you keep running into him enough to ask him if he's told his wife if it was just a ONS? He is married w children but hanging with your friend daily? Where did you meet him? How did you meet him? Did ur friend set u up on a date with him and u spent the night w him? And did he confess to being married w a family after you had sex? I'm confused.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

raining,

You have to tell his W. If this guy does this again and sleeps with someone who has HIV he could bring it home to his W. Then his toddlers could end up orphans. She deserves to know.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

raining said:


> Anyway, regardless, I just don't know if it's right to contact her even anonymously. Like it might create a bigger mess for everyone. I wouldn't think twice about telling her if they were just dating, but now there are toddlers in the mix.


he did this to his own toddlers and his wife has no clue what disease he might bring home to her. If he will do it with you and get away with it, what will stop him from doing it again and again? The bottom line is that his wife is operating without all of the facts, she can't make an informed decision on her marriage without them.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

raining said:


> Don't you see though? There is one man here who did something.. and two women he lied to, me and the wife. So: Even if I MARRIED a man, had his two children, and was with him for 10 years straight (the guy's wife), he would STILL lie for sex! You might as well be telling the wife that _she_ should have known the guy was gonna lie!
> 
> At least, that's my thought process.


I can't tell you how it will go if you tell her

however I have seen it several times where the OMW was extremely grateful that she was told. They were under the impression that their marriage was failing and it was their fault. They thought it was something they did or were doing- by knowing that the husband was cheating it gave them the release they so deserved, a weight was lifted off their shoulders.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

*Don't you see though? There is one man here who did something.. and two women he lied to, me and the wife. So: Even if I MARRIED a man, had his two children, and was with him for 10 years straight (the guy's wife), he would STILL lie for sex! You might as well be telling the wife that she should have known the guy was gonna lie!*

Like I said, some men grow out of it and some don't.....chances are that when you communicate with his wife you will find that she suspected but hoped she was wrong.

Having said that, in my earlier post I was talking about "Hooking Up" not "Adultery"

I would hope you will know so much more about the character, heart, and the soul of the man you marry (homework) than this A** H****, just saying live your life but be careful.....*lots of A** H****s out in this world in the disguise of a man of character. * Don't make assumptions.



.....don't get me wrong the guy here is scum...just saying be careful.


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

raining said:


> To answer some of the questions
> 
> - I am single
> - It was a one-night-stand
> ...


He is the one who has made the mess, and this poor woman has a right to know about it. I was not told, and I know damn well that she has a right to know about his behavior. As for being biased, Tacoma; Experience produces insight that can't be gotten in any other way. If this is a pattern with him, and it likely is, she needs to be able to protect herself from whatever he might bring home, and to move on to someone who can put her first, if she decides to do that. She can't make decisions that are valid about her own life in a vacuum. Please don't wait to tell her, do it now.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Yes

If the shoe were on the other foot kind of thinking.

rain,
Think about this, your married ten years, a couple of kids....would you want to know?

It will then be up to her on how she wants to proceed, and you have nothing more to do with it, after that.


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## leroycat (Dec 30, 2011)

Why do you feel you need to tell his wife? Now that you know he is a liar and a cheater, I don't get why you're still involved. My advice would be to move on and forget you ever new him...try not to have a part in destroying a family.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

rain has no part at all in destroying a marriage...he does.

If it was you would you want to know...simple!!!!!!!!!!!


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## leroycat (Dec 30, 2011)

She has no part? Why is she still in contact with the married guy?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

It's my understanding she wants no part of being the "other women" there for I see it as warning another human being of the train wreck that is coming, by informing the OMW.


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## leroycat (Dec 30, 2011)

I would completely agree with you on warning/protecting the other women if I actually believed she had nothing else to do with this man. It just makes no sense to me #1 her concern for a wife of a one night stand and, taking the time to write about it here and #2 the fact that she has contact info. I personally do not believe that this is a one time thing considering he fessed up the next morning (why?). I just find it a bit odd that a one night stand would turn into such concern. Maybe I'm reading too much into it?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

That makes sense...your right I now see some loop holes.

rain, was his confession due to the fact that you wanted to see him again and he was threatened by getting found out? So he told you he was married after the fact?

Maybe he figures you won't snitch him out. Was he right or wrong?


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

Raining, please, please tell the OMW. I was her for a long time. Just last summer I got a text from the OW telling me about her and another OW. Then all the dots connected, there were a few PA's and even more EA's. He even had an EA with his nephew's wife, they were sexting. If it wasn't for that initial text telling me everything, I would have known nothing. Now, even though it hurts like a SOB, I have the knowledge to make an informed decision. He was unremorseful and refused counselling, we are now divorced. But I have hope of a better future and a more loving husband. It's not about revenge at all, it's about giving the woman the knowledge to make an informed decision.


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