# Angry, hurt, and yea still in shock



## Eclipse (Aug 3, 2012)

I've been browsing this board, and I've gotta say that it's nice to have a place to vent. Seems like my story is pretty similar to others' out there, which yeah does help ease my mind a bit. I find myself wondering often if maybe I really am going crazy. Here's my story...

My husband (stbxh now I guess) came home from work a couple hours early about 5 or 6 weeks ago and told me he was moving out. I asked when, he said today, and within an hour he was gone. Now I'm not sayin' we had a perfect marriage or anything at all, but this was a total shock to me. We'd been married for 14 years and have 2 kids and he never came to me to say that he was unhappy, that something was wrong, nothing. I found out a couple days later that he moved in with another woman he'd met a few months ago, or so he says. I truly was shocked, still am. I trusted him 100%. No matter how bad things got, that is one thing I never ever ever thought he would do. This is a man who shunned my best friend for almost a year because she cheated on her then husband. Anytime this sort of thing came up in conversation, he'd go on and on about how that's the worst thing you could do and you should be a man/woman and come clean BEFORE cheating. Oh the irony. 

So when he first tells me he's moving out, I'm speechless. All I could think of to say was when. Of course over the next several days I thought of lots of stuff to say!! But really no one to say it to, not him, he had no reason to listen, had what he wanted. I asked him why and he didnt even really answer, changed the subject. A couple of weeks go by. In the meantime, he's coming every weekend and taking the kids out for the day (no overnights, I refused to allow him to bring her around my kids at first). A few weeks ago he brings the kids home and comes in the house, and we have a decent conversation. He tells me his new chicky is apparently "bats**t crazy" and he wants to leave her but needs a place to stay, even starts cryin a little bit. He asks me what I want. What the heck am I supposed to say?? You cheated on me!!! Not only that, but you freakin' up and left with no warning whatsoever with bills to pay and kids to try and stay sane for!!! I told him I wanted things how they are, I don't trust him anymore, never will again. By this time I'd already gone to a lawyer and had not intended to tell him anything at all about it. Of course, he's being so pitiful so I tell him all about the lawyer, borrowing money to pay for it, and tell him, oh go ahead and take the truck honey, it's yours anyway, I don't need the money from it (um yeah I really do). He finally leaves. The next week or so he's like super cold to me again and I'm realizing he's totally manipulated me. Hah, didnt see that coming didja?? 

Last weekend, he does it to me again, acting all pitiful, poor me, blah blah, and yes I bought it again. We talked a little, cried together a little, he leaves, but I'm feeling a little better because at least the last 14 years meant SOMETHING, ya know? Yesterday, he comes to pick up the kids for the day. He calls me about 15 minutes before he gets here and says "we're" on the way. I'm like, um we, who is we?? Oh me and whatsherface (I won't say her name I guess). I flipped out!!! I told him in no uncertain terms that I did not want that homewreckin you know what on my property!! He dropped her off at the gas station down the street while he came to pick up the kids. When he gets here, I ask him why?? Why would you do that to me?? Why would you rub my face in it like this?? He says "I enjoy her company" and looks at me like I'm crazy. Are you kiddin me??? You couldn't simply say I didnt think or something? You had to rub my face in it even MORE??? And of course the kids are inside waiting for me to tell them I'm done talking with their dad and all I want to do is rip his freakin face off and then go down the street and rip HER freakin face off and all the while I'm struggling to maintain some semblance of sanity for the kids' sakes.

I'm just having such a hard time with this. It's not even that he's gone. Yeah well not like that isnt something to deal with in itself, but really it's the fact that apparently he's going out of his way to hurt me and I don't understand it at all. I want to know WHY. And I'm not going to get the answers from him and that is what I'm having such a hard time dealing with I guess, the not knowing why. I am just so hurt and so angry and so bitter and I feel like I've wasted the last 14 years of my life living with someone I apparently did not even know. The person I knew would never have done anything like this.

So here I am working as much as I possibly can to try and catch up my bills since I had no time at all to prepare for having to support myself and our 2 kids on my own, feeling hurt, bitter, angry, trying to maintain sanity for the kids and failing miserably. While he's out there with a whole new life. The kids come home telling me how much fun they had doing this and that. Hah, my 12-year-old daughter even asked my best friend the other day if she thought she'd be able to go live with her dad. Now there's a blow for ya. But how can I blame her?? Hmm, let's see, live with a bitter angry woman with no money for extras or an apparently extremely happy dad and his new girlfriend and his new life? Tough choice that.

Anyway, guess I just needed to vent. I should be working (I work at home), but I can't concentrate. What I really want to do is get blind drunk but I can't allow myself to do that of course, so here I am venting on this board instead.

Thanks for listening.
Natalie


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## Couleur (Apr 4, 2012)

((( hugs )))

No advice for you. He sounds like a j*rk, and I am so sorry you and your kids have to go through this. Baby steps....


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## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

Eclipse said:


> I've been browsing this board, and I've gotta say that it's nice to have a place to vent. Seems like my story is pretty similar to others' out there, which yeah does help ease my mind a bit. I find myself wondering often if maybe I really am going crazy. Here's my story...
> 
> My husband (stbxh now I guess) came home from work a couple hours early about 5 or 6 weeks ago and told me he was moving out. I asked when, he said today, and within an hour he was gone. Now I'm not sayin' we had a perfect marriage or anything at all, but this was a total shock to me. We'd been married for 14 years and have 2 kids and he never came to me to say that he was unhappy, that something was wrong, nothing. I found out a couple days later that he moved in with another woman he'd met a few months ago, or so he says. I truly was shocked, still am. I trusted him 100%. No matter how bad things got, that is one thing I never ever ever thought he would do. This is a man who shunned my best friend for almost a year because she cheated on her then husband. Anytime this sort of thing came up in conversation, he'd go on and on about how that's the worst thing you could do and you should be a man/woman and come clean BEFORE cheating. Oh the irony.
> 
> ...


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