# husbands low libido



## disappointed (Feb 20, 2010)

My sex drive has always been more then my husbands but he never turned me down (I always had to initiate sex tho) Now he could really care less. We probably have sex once every 3 months or so. 
I have always made excuses for him-our kids are awake, he is taking blood pressure medicine, he is tired,etc. but I have had enough. All my friends say that he is not "normal". My friends husbands rush for sex just at the mention of it or the minute they see their spouse naked. My husband doesnt seem to notice. 
I could name 150,000 good things about him but this lack of intimacy (or atention at all) is killing me. I am so disappointed.
I would appreciate a mans point of view-what do you think the problem is? Is he just lazy?


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Ok...first thing...does he exercise? Get his ass in the gym..number one way to increase sex drive, trust me, I'm like a crazy horny rabbit..I cannot ever get enough, my sex drive shoots up 200% when I've been workout out regulary. Get him to work out the major muscles, they increase your testosterone the most(high testosterone=high sex drive) so for example dead lifts, squats, bench press..doing low reps high weight for example 3 sets, 5 reps per set, as heavy as possible...

If working out is not his thing, try sex more often in the mornings, it also increases your testosterone alot.

Get him on a high zinc diet...lots of "shredded wheat" with no sugar have some zinc in them..or other cereals as well, just stay away from the sugar...meats have alot of zinc as well...all increasing testosterone...

Start seducing him with all kinds of out of ordinary sex, maybe he's bored of the same sex over and over..suggest some kinkier things, make it clear and sexy..and to the point...ask him if he wants to go to a sex shop, go in there and take charge by going to the kinkiest section and ask him if you can use that on him, or if he wants to use it on you....maybe he just needs some sexual excitement..

lastly, what about you...do you keep yourself in shape? Is he attracted to you? I believe any woman can be hot..it all comes down to how the present themselves, their confidence, and if they keep themselves in shape, doesn't mean they gotta be skinny, just in shape...

my two cents...I'm a horny male, craving for my wife to be at least half as horny as me..so I understand your frustration...


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Geez really could be anything right?

Yea, Im sure it really sucks, the physical is SO much part of the relationship/intimacy.

I would ask how willing is he to do something about it. That's where i see the problem. Its totally fine if there is an issue, but to reconize it, and know that it is causing a problem for you leaves NO excuse for not getting to a doctor and finding out if there are medical reasons or even a way to pick it up a bit.

Has he sought help? Are you clear with him that you miss his touch? Has he always had a really low drive?
If he is lazy to do something about it, then its fair to ask him for permission for a stand in  teasing. 

As your partner he should be willing to figure it out.

I dont like the word "normal" but I would say that he seems definately to have lower drive than most.

Do you or can you guys talk openly? is there a chance he has a problem with you? 
Certainly key to know if this is a forever thing or recent drop.


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## disappointed (Feb 20, 2010)

MarriedGuy-he does work out as I do. I could stand to lose about 15 lbs but so could he and I really don't think it is how I look. 
As far as going to a sex shop or "kicking it up a notch' he would NEVER agree to it, mostly cuz he doesn't think that stuff is useful and he thinks its dumb.
I do offer a little "out of the ordinary" ideas but he always makes me chose what/when/how we are gonna do it. It's like he doesnt want to take the bait!

63Vino-I have asked him to go to the Dr,especially since he is on blood pressure medicine (It has caused impotence in the past! JOY!) and he refuses. He has tried 3 different medications and this one works for his BP so he doesn't want to make any changes. 
I have threatened to get a boyfriend (joking) and he says if I do then it's over between us. Which I agree! 
I feel like giving up but with 2 kids, a mortgage, a dog and a cat---it's just too much work and I really don't have the energy for all that drama!
This is really not a recent thing-it is just getting worse.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

disappointed said:


> MarriedGuy-he does work out as I do. I could stand to lose about 15 lbs but so could he and I really don't think it is how I look.
> As far as going to a sex shop or "kicking it up a notch' he would NEVER agree to it, mostly cuz he doesn't think that stuff is useful and he thinks its dumb.
> I do offer a little "out of the ordinary" ideas but he always makes me chose what/when/how we are gonna do it. It's like he doesnt want to take the bait!
> 
> ...



If he simply refuses, then.. you suck it up and deal with it, or decide its too much. Not easy, but that's what's left. Thats simply mean of him!!!!


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