# Significant differences in income



## mc75 (Jan 23, 2011)

My wife and I have been married 9 years. Her chosen careers (practicing artist and part-time early childhood educator) result in her having an income perhaps ten percent of mine. I recently took a 20% pay cut in order to escape a job that was causing stress and depression, and move into a position that suits me. However, now at 35 I start to be concerned about our financial ability - to buy the house we want (and I don't want a big house, but do want to live in a nice place), to relocate where we want, to raise a family, to travel, and to save for retirement. We have little debt ($300/mo in student loans to pay), and no savings beyond my mandatory pension.

I am lucky that in my field (government or possibly university work) I am able to get good health benefits for dependents. I am not sure, however, if my salary will rebound in the future or if I will eventually choose a university position that offers good vacation time, something important to me, but does not pay a lot more than I make now. I have also considered small business, because I find routine office work to be very stressful, but this is difficult as I must provide most of our income and health benefits. I'm lucky to have a new job that allows me to use my interests, but that may not always be the case.

My wife faces several challenges in earning money. We went thru a bad period earlier where she covered up her insecurity by saying she didn't value money and expected me to support her, then she switched to that she was incapable of earning money and could best help me by leaving. I was quite upset as I had put off plans to relocate and had supported her for several years so that she could finish college. Now she is tired of being poor (she contributes to our living and pays studio expenses, after which little is left of her earnings) and wants to improve her earning.

Her challenges are:
Her paid job, early childhood education, does not pay well in the best of circumstances, and she works part time so that she can work on art;
Her art, while starting to get into galleries, etc., so far is not profitable;
English is not her first language, and although fluent she is not confident in using it in a professional setting, and we do not live somewhere like the west coast where having an accent or imperfect grammar would be more normal.

I want to support her to help us more, rather than criticize her. I don't want her to turn into a workaholic by taking on more hours (she's done this before), and I don't want to pressure her into giving up art. But I've figured that to afford us a good life in some mid-cost towns we like, she would need to contribute $10,000 - $20,000 annually (with my current salary its closer to $20,000) while her current income is $5,000. So as you see I'm not trying to live it up.

I have suggested she explore other areas that pay well (such a web design) but she doesn't like computers and there is training involved. She's not terribly entrepreneurial either, so small business is probably out. I have also suggested if we finally relocate to the west coast she find a job where her native language will be an asset (such as tour guide, or in an international company). She is doing some early childhood training, but again the salaries are low regardless, although she seems to enjoy the job.

Any suggestions?


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

When I first quit my job to sah (with kids) my husband made $20K just like you. In 7 years his income has risen to $60K and he's easily supporting 5 of us. He also has a gov't job. Oh and he was 37 years old when I quit.

Just saying don't count yourself out as your wife does have some limitations that may not be overcome. She also has a right to enjoy her work just as you do.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Never take a pay cut for any reason whatsoever. You never know what's around the corner.


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## mc75 (Jan 23, 2011)

Thanks for the comments, but its not my income that's the issue - my career pays in the high 40s to low 60s unless I moved into management, but the job I really want may be at a university which is probably around 50 plus great benefits. Taking a pay cut for my sanity and happiness, and to build experience in the type of work I want to do, makes perfect sense for me. So as I said for us to be comfortable my wife would really need to earn around $15,000 per year, this is not a big demand. She could reach this level working at early childhood ed for 25 hrs/week, but her art schedule led her to choose being a substitute.

Having one spouse earning $5,000 per year, relying on my benefits, and no savings between us does not seem like sound financial footing to me, nor am I willing to take a job I don't like simply because my wife chooses to have low earnings. If she expected not to earn money, she should have told me before having me change plans and support her through college. So really the question is how she can get up to what is really a modest income level.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

25 hours a week is nothing! She can work more hours. Art is just a hobby for your wife because it clearly generates no income. She can make much more than $5000 if she puts her mind to it. Your wife sounds rather lazy and spoiled.

Even mothers with children work full time, so why can't your wife? 
_
Because she wants to paint pictures??_ :scratchhead:

I guess I am too practical to believe in all that "chase your dreams no matter what" BS they fed my generation. I knew a young woman who studied English so that she could be a "famous novelist". She works as a proofreader now because she needs to eat. :rofl:

I make $21,000 a year. My husband makes more than triple that. I still like have my own money because I am accustomed to independence. One of the worst times in my life was when I wasn't working and I had to depend on Mr.G for cash. He enjoys taking care of me, but I still need to work for my own self esteem.

You can ask your wife to work enough to make $10,000. She can also attend Business English classes.


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## AbsolutelyFree (Jan 28, 2011)

What's her native language?

Could she give lessons in that? Suppose she charged $20 per lesson -- If she could give just 5 lessons a week, that's an extra $5000 per year.


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## lime (Jul 3, 2010)

I disagree that her art is just a hobby. Art is one of my hobbies, and I probably spend a few hours a week here or there painting something or another... Nothing too serious, no plans whatsoever to show it to anyone other than my friends/family.

If her art is getting into galleries and she is truly passionate about it, then she is an artist! That's a career and a lifestyle, really. Maybe it doesn't pay now, but it might in the future if she continues to work at it. If she gets an MFA or even networks a little, she could probably get a job teaching art at a university. The pay is typically $3k to $5k per trimester/semester for about 6 hours a week but that will vary depending on the institution. MFA programs are somewhat expensive, but they lend an artist credibility and many can be completed in 1-2 years. If she teaches part-time for 20 hours per week (including extra time spent grading projects, etc.) she could be making up to $20-$30k per year, just from that. That is a goal she could work up to.

In the mean time, I agree--she should take on a few more hours. She needs to be maximizing efficiency too... Does she take forever to get ready, spend a few hours watching TV/getting on facebook everyday? Those are the hours to sacrifice in order to work--not her time painting. On the flip side, does she spend too long organizing a messy studio, shopping for random supplies, or participating on art forums? Those things can be cut down to maximize her time painting...etc. 

She should look into freelance work online as a translator! The pay is pretty good. Assuming she works 50 weeks per year and needs $10,000, she needs $200 a week. If she makes $20/hour as a translator, she only has to work an extra 2 hours per day, and that doesn't even take into account her other job. She could also look into nannying, teaching private art lessons to middle/high school students. Good luck!


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## mc75 (Jan 23, 2011)

Thanks for the replies. And thanks, Homemaker, for a very thoughtful message.

I agree art is not a hobby, if she is in galleries and selling at shows. It is her small business and it ... breaks even now. She has explored several avenues for marketing and also for a part-time job. Unfortunately, I agree her time is fairly maxed out - OK she does have a little more free time than me but tends to do the shopping, more cleaning and cooking than me (just the way it works out - since my work is not so flexible). So perhaps it will take stepping back and doing a residency, getting into an MFA that pays her way, or making a real business plan for her business. 

She has looked into various jobs (tutoring, etc.) but early childhood is the one she seems to stick with despite complaints about the low pay. The reality is the kind of art teaching she can get in our area probably pays $15-16 /hr tops and is very part time or sporadic. She never tried language tutoring though.

I think she could take more advanced English classes and look into online translating ... she did this once before. I think one barrier is while she enjoys science and art, she tends to be fairly anti-intellectual in following what is happening in society and building up vocabulary that way. She feels learning vocab. from everyday life is good enough. 

Anyway, I do respect her but it's been 9 years - 6 of which I supported us and 3-4 since she finished college. I've taken "safe" jobs because I know I have to support us both. I've carried credit car debt for 10 years. I gave up moving to the place I wanted because of her school. I've given up going back to school myself. She doesn't want to live in our current state either, so we can't buy a house, but when we talk about moving, it's always, "I'll go where you want if you can find a job" and sometimes its "I'll really miss my friends here." When I ask her to plan for the future, the only 2 things she can come up with is "I want to do art" and "I want a home studio." But then sometimes she questions if making art to sell is even really worth it. Her depression I mentioned in an earlier thread is at bay. But, it never seems like we're planning how to achieve our future TOGETHER. Then I start thinking if I had a wife who had a career, she might say, "OK you've supported me and my dreams for so long, its your turn." or "OK, we can move and I'll take a full-time job until you find employment in our new city." Never has she volunteered this. So I don't mean to be crass, its about way more than money.

So whats changed since my last post (sorry if I am redundant) is I don't see this pattern changing - despite her good intentions - and probably we'll have a child in a few years, it would be wise to save and have a down payment, and to settle where we want to live.


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