# Twisting around the argument



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Anybody else have a spouse that gets you completely twisted up during an argument/heated discussion. Most of the time I walk away thinking "I was pretty sure the sky was blue, but now I just don't know". You know what I mean? Like you know you had a legitimate complaint about the other person's behavior or whatever but you walk away going "what the hell was that? and what did it have to do with my mother?"


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

It usually comes from attacking how you fight instead of sticking to the subject. I used to do it to my wife and she reacts like you do. 

I hate to stop it to save my marriage about four years ago and just listen and try to figure out what she was saying. I read alot of books on how women commicate and what there needs


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

The problem here is the discussing part in which it may be better for you to decline to participate. If you don't like something you should say straightforwardly "I don't like ..." and leave it at that. While your partner may respond in all sorts of ways, you don't have to respond to the response, just agree with whatever they say with something like "OK" after you make your feelings unambiguously known


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

This happens to my husband and I. We see things in such completely different ways that conflicts get all twisted around and honestly about halfway through the discussion/fight I can't even remember what the hell started the whole thing because my head's spinning. The thing I thought was the problem was the one thing he DIDN'T think was a problem and I sit there going "well where in the hell do we go from here". Next question is, what do we do about it?


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