# Submissive to wife



## whippedeye (Feb 17, 2016)

Been in a vanilla relationship with my wife . I occasionally explore the idea of being submissive to her when in bed . Out of nowhere she started lightly spanking me during sex and I love it. She learned that it will make me finish faster so she will spank me when she wants me to finish. Gives her a little dominance and control and I think she likes it.
The other night I got cranky about something rather minor. She later sat next to me and said I guess we aren't having sex cause your cranky. I got mad and protested but I really ended up liking it! So the next day I text her that she punished me by not giving me sex and I got the point and that I will give her foot rubs to make it right
She replied foot rubs huh. So that's where we are at. I have not seen her yet cause I was away. I will see her tonight
. I don't plan on saying anything. Jus wanna see where it goes.
Just telling my story

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Generally speaking when men get cranky about things and throw temper tantrums (as in protest) about sex, women do NOT find that attractive. 

On the other hand if you let her be playful with you and demonstrate that her forms of coy punishment have no harsh effect on you, but instead you actually enjoy it... that might be a different story. 

Unfortunately it is human nature to test our own as well as the limits of those around us. She might learn to enjoy finding things that you sincerely dislike just for her amusement of how you handle a conflict of interest in your own mind! I once read a blog from a man that wanted to be a sub, but he found it excruciatingly frustrating that his woman would only play with him in ways that caused him sincere discomfort. Meanwhile he was begging for other forms of punishment. 

...good luck!

Badsanta


----------



## whippedeye (Feb 17, 2016)

Very good insight! Thanks!

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk


----------



## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I'd suggest a bit of reversal and light spanking of her etc to set the stage that this is sexual power play and not intended to leave the bedroom and enter the marriage in general. In fact, you might want to read up on ground rules.

Too much of a power shift and too much expansion into other areas of the relationship could hurt your marriage.

Over time, women can lose interest and respect for men that are too easily dominated.

If it's back and forth, and teasing but doesn't move outside of sexual play, it could be fun.

Hope that made sense.

... ok here goes... if you like that you might like a little humiliation to go with it. A little denial, SPH, etc role play. Comparison to fictitious boyfriends or non threatening "others" - "if you were packing what that fedex guy has in that bulge, maybe I'd spend more time in the bedroom" kind of stuff. Kink is very weird and can be fun


----------



## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I read an article about jealousy in sex - like cuckolding and role play - saying the intensity of feelings generated by the jealousy is very similar to the feelings associated with the excitement of a new love interest. 

I also believe guys generally suck at differentiating their emotions... so it would make sense why some guys are into the denial, jealousy, submission... if it triggers those similar chemical reactions and emotional turmoil and they feel it as though it were the excitement and anxiety of a new love interest.


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

TheTruthHurts said:


> Over time, women can lose interest and respect for men that are too easily dominated.


This OP... unless you're married to a real alpha female who gets off on humiliating guys. If your wife, isn't one of these types, I'd switch it up once in a while.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

So she punishes you by withholding sex. But being punished is what you desire. This is the the definition of perversity. (you always knew you were a pervert). If she really wanted to punish you she would deny you the spanking.

I'm a bit worried because I think she is unaware that you view her actions as Dominant. You can not give her authority unless she knowingly accepts it. Be careful.


----------



## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

Sounds kinky. Have fun with it! Maybe you can make a game, like how long you can be denied before you start begging.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I'd recommend keeping D/S play in bed separate from real life. Some people do have full time D/S relationships, but it can be a path to real problems in some cases.

If you want to be dominated in bed, that's all good fun. In real life though I think a marriage should be equal and respectful.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

I agree. It should only happen in the bedroom. Real life is something else. My wife does it to me (sp) when I ask but she never dominates and always tries to be subject to me. I suppose I dominate or at least lead in the bedroom so it is a bit of an anomaly in some ways. I keep well away from anything to do with punishment. I want to keep my sanity and lead.


----------



## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Tony Conrad said:


> I agree. It should only happen in the bedroom. Real life is something else. My wife does it to me (sp) when I ask but she never dominates and always tries to be subject to me. I suppose I dominate or at least lead in the bedroom so it is a bit of an anomaly in some ways. I keep well away from anything to do with punishment. I want to keep my sanity and lead.


While you're working on keeping your sanity and the lead, I'm going to suggest you also work on your forum etiquette which includes not posting to old threads, and starting a new thread to discuss your own situation.


----------

