# child support



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Ok so without venting on my situation I want to get input on what child support is supposed to cover? Before anyone unleashes on me know that ive never missed a payment? Like is child support jyst an equalization and school clothes and supplies are additional split costs?
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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Child support is meant to provide the "primary custodial parent" with the basic means to support the children. Enough for common things like food, clothing, shelter, etc.

School supplies and clothing are "needs" and should be included in the support calculation. A good winter coat and a good pair of shoes are also needs.

It IS reasonable that the "other" parent would buy pajamas, socks, etc - but both parents shouldn't be paying for more expensive items - a child doesn't need two nice / warm winter coats. The primary parent should buy the coat - and the coat should be used at both houses. 

In Indiana - if something is more of a "nice to have / do" - maybe renting an a musical instrument or buying some kind of athletic equipment for a specific sport - the parents should split the cost based on the income used for the support calc. So - if you agree that your child should play tuba and you make 25% more than your spouse - you should (in theory) pay 25% than them for the monthly instrument rental.

Indiana has a decent web page where you can do the support calc by inputting the number of overnights per year with each parent and the expected incomes of each parent.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

To me, as a mother who receives child support, he pays his share based on income to me, and I put my share with it and I provide all of the basics - all clothing including shoes, winter coat and such, food (school lunch included), school supplies and book bag, standard school fees (such as fee for locker, etc.) and contributes toward their primary residence "stuff" like bedspread/decor for their room and minor recreation (like a bike). 

I think the only things that are the non-custodial parent's responsibilities are to feed them and/or pay for any entertainment while with them plus provide toiletries they can leave there and they can provide a more minimal room for the child if they are only there a standard every other weekend. If they are with the other parent 50/50 then it's a bit harder to say. Obviously gifts for holidays are each parent's individual responsibility. However when she was young, all of her "santa" gifts we split the cost 50/50 on. When he filed a motion for custody, he also told her about "santa" so I gave her gifts and so did he, but no more "santa" gifts (tho I do stuff a stocking).

If there are extracurricular activities that cost money and it's significant, I think that should be factored into support - here they will factor in daycare or private school and when she was too old for daycare she was in gymnastics which costs just as much; if she makes the cheerleading squad there will be costs associated with that and she'll start driving shortly after and I'm providing the car and insurance and I feel that is a large enough amount that it should be considered separate from support. After all, a car is optional - I don't HAVE to give her mine but insurance will not be cheap.

Since I have my daughter 5-6 nights a week, depending on the week, I provide everything. Heck, she won't ask her Dad to buy tampons or deodorant (he does soap/toothbrush/toothpaste and shampoo for her) so she takes everything she needs and brings back dirty clothes for me to wash.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

You can also expect to pay half of uncovered medical expenses, such as orthodontics/braces and eyeglasses, half the extra cost of summer camp, and other similar things - but, for things like camp, you should have a say in whether they go and where they go.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

I'll be finally divorced in about a month. We are doing a 6 month custody split. January-June and July-Dec. When it's not your six months you get standard visitation rules. This lets both parents participate in stuff with the kids (the business part of raising kids like after school stuff, homework, projects, etc).

Since the time is split 50/50 the lawyer will be using a formula to determine child support that's taking what I'd pay her if she was primary full time, comparing that to what I'd receive as a full time custodian from her and splitting the difference. That difference goes to the parent with the least amount of annual income. In my case it goes to her since i've got about 35K on her annuallly.

We still rotate holidays regardless. The part that most people get hung up on is trying to control what they spend the money on. You can't. Just accept that she might spend it on pedicures and spa treatments as it's not in your control and a judge cares about as much for your concerns on how she spends it as the supreme court would hearing a speeding ticket case. If you want it spent on certain things like school clothes, etc then you have to get that stuff written into your divorce decree. You can make them more responsible for financially supporting the kids when they have them which would force them to use the child support on those necessities in theory but don't get upset when the kids start telling you about all the fun weekend stuff they do that happens to coincide with her getting your child support check.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Married but Happy said:


> You can also expect to pay half of uncovered medical expenses, such as orthodontics/braces and eyeglasses, half the extra cost of summer camp, and other similar things - but, for things like camp, you should have a say in whether they go and where they go.


I pay more than half for these "extra" items based the difference in our incomes.

And good point about camp and other activities - these are not "needs" - if one parent decides they don't want to pay for these extra items, you can't force them.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

In theroy, if he actually paid regularly, my ex is supposed to pay standard CS of 20% of his income. ..additionally he is supposed to pay proportional costs on day care and medical expenses, and split activities 50/50....
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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Ok so without venting on my situation I want to get input on what child support is supposed to cover? Before anyone unleashes on me know that ive never missed a payment? Like is child support jyst an equalization and school clothes and supplies are additional split costs?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Living expenses and cost in general. So a portion of 
- clothes.
- school supplies.
- utilities. (think showers, more dishes, more clothes washed, etc).
- groceries. Teens are expensive.
- for babies, there are diapers, milk, etc.
- A little part of it for vehicle maintenance, shelter, etc. Generally primary custody means more trips for the kids and secondary. Also it mean more square footage home, thus more expensive home needed.
- time. keeping up with school work, etc.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I am in a 50/50 shared custody situation but I pay child support on the basis of my income. On top of the regular monthly amount, I also cover 2/3rd of any extraordinary expenses which I've consented to incur (ie she can't just go buy our child something expensive and demand reimbursement).

Like Otter said, how she spends it is completely at her discretion, likewise my own money is mine to spend however I see fit.

As for extraordinary expenses, not sure how that works if one parent has primary custody - I would suspect that as one not having any say in the matter, the non-custodial parent should not be on the hook at all for extraordinary expenses - but the wise move is obviously to consult with your lawyer.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

So so glad I never had to deal with any of this. Sounds horrible


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## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

In my case - I have sole custody of DD14 and my ex is suppose to pay $759 a month. He pays irregularly - so I am always struggling to make bills each month although I make a decent salary. 

I cover all medical, dental, eye care, sports insurance, sports equipment 
- clothes.
- school supplies.
- utilities. 
- groceries. Teens are expensive.
- entertainment
- vacations
- large mortgage
- taxing child to/from school, movies, sleepovers, school events, 

In my case, $759 is MINIMAL to the cost of my mortgage, home upkeep (pool, lawn, utilities, and child expenses) but I am happy to get it... when ex decides that I am "entightled" to a check.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Like is child support jyst an equalization and school clothes and supplies are additional split costs?


Child support covers those items. Or, it should. Usually uncovered medical expenses are additional as are costs for higher education.

But you can always give more if you're so inclined.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

In a lot of states uncovered medicals are considered a child support obligation, but are often not included in the monthly amount. Obviously, the amount will vary so there's no way to know what it will be.

Also different states figure support differently. At a minimum, child support may be used to purchase groceries, snacks, beverages, and other food items. It may also be used to purchase shoes, jackets, and appropriate clothing. Also, child support may be used to pay for the child's related shelter costs, such as mortgage or rent, lighting, telephone, and utility bills.

Most courts recognize that transportation is needed when there is a child, educational fees, entertainment, and child care expenses are also appropriate.

Whether college expenses is covered depends on your jurisdiction.

Very, very rarely will a court consider a challenge on how one parent spends the support, unless there is a legitimate claim of neglect of the child. The fact that the non-custodial parent does not "agree" with how the support payment is used is largely irrelevant.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

I think the misconception is that child support is meant to cover "something."

It's not. Child support is just money that goes into a pot.

If two people are married, after expenses 100% of the money goes to the unit involved with the children.

Once divorced, because those two units are separated, there needs to be an equalizing factor.

Most of the states calculate this by taking your income, her income, any required expenses, and doling out the money to even it out. In my case, I have joint custody and still owe my ex child support. That money doesn't "cover" anything, as I am also ordered to pay medical, extra-curricular, and school expenses. It's just making sure that both parents have the ability to provide somewhat equally to the children, so that one person doesn't make out like a banshee in the divorce.

Imagine if I didn't have to pay support and all expenses were split down the middle. She'd be under water every month and I'd be living like I won the lottery, and that is with joint custody.

Now when it gets interesting is when someone has primary custody and gets support, and then claims they don't have enough money to primarily care for the kids. That's up for a judge to decide. A good final order will have all this spelled out, so that you don't have to go to court every time a new expense pops up. If you're not the primary custodian, I'd do a reasonability check. Failing that, you can't be forced to pay for anything until a judge orders it, so if you honestly think it's BS, don't pay.

If you want you can throw out the example and we'll give you an idea of if its reasonable for you to pay. Dadsdivorce.com is also a great resource (probably better than TAM for these kinds of issues).


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