# Is he cheating?



## greysanatomy91 (Dec 11, 2016)

Husband and I are both early 20s, 2 kids who are 3 years (girl) and 5 weeks (boy), been together 2 years. Our relationship has been great until recently some weird things have been happening. Within the past week. 

First of all, husband has never really been good at remembering to brush his teeth everyday, I'm always having to remind him. He's a type A personality and gets in such a rush to get to work and panics to get ready that he doesn't worry about it until I remind him. Lately he's been brushing them all of a sudden every single day without me having to say a word. Today he was running super late for work and I found his toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower from where he found it important enough to get done that he did it in the shower. 

Also, he's always picking fights with me all of a sudden over really dumb things and criticizing me over how I handle the baby (over small things such as swaddling and not getting him as soon as he cries). I mean he gets REALLY mad about it.. This is not like him at all and before this week we never argued hardly at all. Lastly, he is suddenly wanting sex every single night like he HAS to have it, when before it didn't matter to him how much we did it. Now he is to the point of eagerly pressuring me about it even though I'm still healing from having our son.

When I confronted him about why he's acting so weird lately, he denies having a reason and doesn't know what I'm talking about. When I bring up cheating he turns it around on some mistake I made in the past and said he's not cheating, but if I want to think that then he doesn't care and isn't gonna stop me.

Am I crazy to think that? His behavior is just so weird I'm not sure what to think.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Well I think you should try to get to the bottom of it. It's hard to say if he is cheating just because he started to brush his teeth more, and is horny. I would think if he was cheating he would be less horny, but who can say. Somethings up.


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

It's worth looking into. I didn't catch all the signs when my husband was cheating. T he frequency of the sex increased and he was more aggressive during that time. He was also paying a lot of attention to his appearance with not over eating, his phone was glued to his side. If your female intuition is ringing, listen to it. I wish I had. 

Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

greysanatomy91 said:


> Husband and I are both early 20s, 2 kids who are 3 years (girl) and 5 weeks (boy), been together 2 years. Our relationship has been great until recently some weird things have been happening. Within the past week.
> 
> First of all, husband has never really been good at remembering to brush his teeth everyday, I'm always having to remind him. He's a type A personality and gets in such a rush to get to work and panics to get ready that he doesn't worry about it until I remind him. Lately he's been brushing them all of a sudden every single day without me having to say a word. Today he was running super late for work and I found his toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower from where he found it important enough to get done that he did it in the shower.
> 
> ...


What mistake(s)?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

He is not being a good husband, cheating or not.

These issues must be dealt with.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

greysanatomy91 said:


> Husband and I are both early 20s, *2 kids who are 3 years (girl) *and 5 weeks (boy), *been together 2 years*. Our relationship has been great until recently some weird things have been happening. Within the past week.
> 
> First of all, husband has never really been good at remembering to brush his teeth everyday, I'm always having to remind him. He's a type A personality and gets in such a rush to get to work and panics to get ready that he doesn't worry about it until I remind him. Lately he's been brushing them all of a sudden every single day without me having to say a word. Today he was running super late for work and I found his toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower from where he found it important enough to get done that he did it in the shower.
> 
> ...



:scratchhead:


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

sokillme said:


> Well I think you should try to get to the bottom of it. It's hard to say if he is cheating just because he started to brush his teeth more, and is horny. I would think if he was cheating he would be less horny, but who can say. Somethings up.


Cheating does not equal less horny at all. 

The only time we didn't have a sexless marriage is when STBXH was cheating. It's was a cover up.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Could be lots of reasons why he's acting this way and cheating could be one of them.

Could be a mental health and/or anxiety issue as well.

If you've cheated on him in the past then it's understandable that you'd think he's cheating on you, it's some sort of "cheaters Karma" whereby cheaters figure they'll be treated the way they treated their partner.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I am in the middle of painting our Great Room.

My wife asked me why I did not finish off the upper edge in the back.

I told her I could not reach it. I needed a taller A-Ladder, or Scaffolding.

..............................................................................................

I see your need to finish-paint a "sure" portrait of DH cheating. 

Yes, there are spots in your marriage that have a Red Tinge. His sudden interest in sex could point to cheating.

It also could point to the fact that he has been chomping at the bit, waiting for you to heal. Heal enough so he could bury his little-head, not in the sand, but in the warm tide.

The fact that you are [still not] sexually ready is frustrating to him. He also knows that sex with you will be spotty. You have an infant that takes priority and a toddler that also demands attention. He is at the end of the line when it comes to attention from you. It may not be so, but that may be the way he feels.

I do not sympathize with him....that is the way it goes in starting a family. He does not want to share you with two "poo poo pants".

Many men who end up cheating do so when the wife is pregnant and sexually unavailable. That is a rotten reality, is it not?

Is he cheating? I need a taller ladder to first clean away the cobwebs in your marriage.

He could be. Do some snooping. Keep it low key. Do not let him suspect your fears. If he does, he will take the behavior farther underground.

Good Luck, Best Wishes.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

You don't really have any real evidence that's he's cheating, but your suspicions are enough to start monitoring him. I would start with his cell phone records and email. You'll get plenty of help here if you ask.

In the meantime; don't confront him without evidence he can't dispute.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Have you checked his phone records?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Your H's  modus operandi would certainly speak to the fact that perhaps something "new," which doesn't include you, is going on in his life!

Having said that, I'd have to concur that further clandestine investigation is definitely required on your part!*


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

This is way too bizarre. Possible cheating because he's brushing his teeth and irritated with you? Seriously?

You have a three year old and a 5 week-old baby in the house. How much sleep are you two getting. My kids are grown and out of the house and I'm still losing sleep over them.

And how much sex did you have while pregnant? Yeah, maybe he's rushing things but how long should he keep his libido in check and when is it OK for him to show you he wants sex, especially after what was probably a long drought.

Finally, could you be experiencing postpartum anxiety and reading too much into this?


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

I think you have enough to be suspicious, but not enough to confront, or be angry or defensive YET.... there could be something here... 

New baby in the household actually brings the likely hood of him cheating higher in my opinion. Lots of men cheat on their pregnant wives or their stressful household as an escape. 

I personally think he is cheating... With the things you said I think there is something to investigate. 

Lots of men want to escape when things get rough at home. Im sure you are not having a lot os sex, ( you just had a baby!) so I think you should sleuth. Start at phone records.. Don't alert him. Look for frequent calls or texts. Then try to find his email...you may think he only has one, but realize he may have a second one. (mine did, for all his cheating) 

Then if you find more suspicious things in either the phone or email I would try a VAR...voice activated recorder. If he has a lot of mystery calls, you can bet you can find out what is being said with a VAR placed inside his car. (Just know this is considered illegal in many states so if you find proof, you cannot tell him what your proof is.)

i HOPE he is not cheating, but often where there is smoke, there is also fire.


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