# I finally signed....



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

After telling him that I know about his affair, I gave him a "Good-bye letter"....telling him what I loved about him and what I'm sorry for...and that he's free now....

I am simply broken....I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat and was starting to be unfair to my beloved children....I had to end this !!!!!!

The two days after the letter we didn't talk, and he seemed very sad and depressed.....

So yesterday on his birthday I got him his favorite Greek food, his favorite cake and the signed divorce papers "Happy Birthday !!".....

He didn't say a word....just looked at me....I turned around and cried hysterically in the bathroom....making sure he didn't see or hear me....

We're still sleeping in the same bed and haven't had sex or cuddling in about a week....he slept on the very edge of his side every night....

Last night then....he kept sleeping in the very middle and tried to put his arm around me several times.....I pulled away.....

It makes me mad knowing that he does still have love for me but is letting his brain decide what the best decision is for him (and him only) and not his heart.....

Now *I* am building anger and resentment against him......

He's sooooo f***ed up.....

Just a vent.....I had to tell someone !!!!!!


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear... 

but a glimmer of hope too - just because you signed doesn't mean he will follow through.

Have hope Rome2012 - have hope - keep those improvements in your life and be there for the kids. They need you too!


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## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

rome2012 said:


> Now *I* am building anger and resentment against him......
> 
> He's sooooo f***ed up.....


We are so similar in these situations. Where my wife wants to end it fast so she can go be with her EA. I am getting tired of fighting and feel exactly what your line above says. Except make it say She's sooooo f***ed up...

When do you finally give up?


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Powerbane said:


> I'm sorry to hear...
> 
> but a glimmer of hope too - just because you signed doesn't mean he will follow through.
> 
> Have hope Rome2012 - have hope - keep those improvements in your life and be there for the kids. They need you too!


I'm through with hope....

I was hoping up until I signed the paper and I realized it's making me sick....miserable....I can't do this anymore.....

He said to me....after some texting on Friday.....when I asked him "Why not get the case dismissed ???"......"Because I already put around $ 3000 into it " :banghead: ......can you believe it ???

He doesn't believe there's a chance for us or otherwise he could have at least put it on hold.....

But as I said....I'm making myself sick with hoping and I'm done....

Every minute spent from now on is with "How am I going to do this on my own.....what do I need to take care of.....".....nothing like "Well, maybe he won't turn it in".....

All I'm doing right now....finances, college, weight loss etc. I'm doing for myself and my kids only !!!!!!!!

I will be fine !!!! But he won't !!!!!! He'll learn.....sooner or later......he'll regret it !!!!!!!


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

helpplease said:


> We are so similar in these situations. Where my wife wants to end it fast so she can go be with her EA. I am getting tired of fighting and feel exactly what your line above says. Except make it say She's sooooo f***ed up...
> 
> When do you finally give up?


I gave up after realizing that my husband was stringing me along, having his cake and eating it too, just to get me to sign the papers....and when it came close to deadline, he got pushy....

That's when I said "Fine !!!!!!"......I'm done !!!!!

You'll get to the point sooner or later.....

Or hopefully your wife will see the light of day before you have to make this decision....

I hope your story ends better than mine !!!!!!


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

I finally signed papers yesterday... I knew things were not going ot change and my H had made up his mind day one..... sometimes you just get the short end of the stick... but you know what? You will be a million times better off in the end...you just gotta trust in fate and life.


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## sad_dad (Dec 20, 2010)

What decision did you husband not make?

I'm separated from my wife. I've agreed to "change", but she is still so wrapped up in her hurt that she can't even see me trying.

Divorce is an emotional thing and you may not want to rush. I am physically separated from my wife and we are hoping to get back together over time (working with a counselor), but I've been told it is will be slow if it is to work. I have to work on improving myself, and she has to calm down enough to see it.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I am so sad you are all going through this. No one deserves this kind of pain. Separation or divorce is truly a sick thing! I hate it! And I hope never to return to this state. I am wanting to go on to the next phase. I know it is hard, and I hope you may be strong. You will be in my prayers.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

I, too, have decided to give up (I think). I have conceded to give my wife the divorce she has asked for while at the same time still hoping and praying for some divine intervention. These last 3 months have been nothing but heartache for me and it looks as though there is no end in the near future of the "fog" my wife is in. She has literally turned into somebody else. I don't even recognize her anymore. I think I will also draft up a "good-bye" letter although I don't think she'll read it. That's just how mad and cold she has gotten during my fight for our marriage. She just wanted a quick divorce and I wouldn't give it to her. I can write it, but if she doesn't read it, oh well.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

divine intervention....go here....
WELCOME - Rejoice Marriage Ministries


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## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

PreludeCkN said:


> divine intervention....go here....
> WELCOME - Rejoice Marriage Ministries


I love that website Prelude. Very inspirational. I would love to be "The Stander." After 6 months I just can't do it. It is so easy to move on and so hard to hold hope. Holding hope only brings pain.

I think so many of us hold onto that hope. We try to manipulate our spouse to come back. We use family, the Bible, children, etc..... The lesson I learned so far is that it is a very hard path to hold onto hope. I honestly don't know how somebody can be so devoted to a spouse that dumped them and be happy. 

I salute the few people that are committed to hold onto that hope. That lady on the website that continued to hold out for her husband because she knew it was the right thing to do by God is a much stronger person than me. 

I believe with my whole heart in the vows I said when I married my wife. I have never broken those vows to this point. Even though I know it is wrong to break the vows, I am at the point that I will look for happiness at the expense of my commitment to my vows. 

I love my wife and committed myself to her without any thought of ever leaving her. I can't control my spouse and can only follow my own path at this point. I prayed for 6 months that my wife would see the light and change her mind. I made large steps to improve myself. Im ready to sign the divorce papers when they are received.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I am not holding on to hope, I am holding on to what God has called me to do. You are right, this path is not easy, it is not for the weak. It is very hard to look the other way and not do anything about it. But you dont have to, God does. I am a firm believer that He WILL restore my dead marriage, how do I know this? Faith! 

My Lord has shown me from time to time that He is with me, even though my husband is not. It's okay, because He is making me strong. Yes, it still hurts, and I still get sad, but the Holy Spirit reminds me each time that I am not alone.

Man did not convince me, God did. When my husband asked for a separation, I told him that I somehow know that we will end up together again, I didnt know how or when, but we would be together regardless of how he feels now. I didn't know where I got that little hope from, but when I started to pray to God, I began to understand. ANd I asked the Lord to guide me on the correct path, I asked him, is this man for me? Do you have someone else better? And yes he does!

He will give me my husband back at His perfect timing. When I came across this website, (another person recommended me to it) and I read it, I knew it! That's when I knew that I MUST go thru all of this turmoil. I know its sounds weird, but is working on both my husband and me, and he (DH) doesn't know it. 

I give the Lord thanks that I am no going thru all those horrible things as others are. My DH is not cheating on me, I didn't cheat on him, or there hasn't been any harsh disputes. This is purely emotional but it is still dangerous as my DH thinks he is single again. It has been 8 months since we separated and no divorce papers....why? I think I must praise the Lord. 

I wish you the best, and I am praying for every marriage to be restored. All you need is faith in Him. Be strong!


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