# Are there usually more than you find out about?



## mswren7 (May 8, 2011)

If you have discovered your spouse has cheated more than once, is it usual to suspect that there are more OW/OM than you found out about? And then I guess will never find out about.

Like the saying, for every rat you see there are 10 more that you dont, or a cheater will never reveal any more than they've been caught with. 

Just wondering what other's opinions are on this. Thankyou.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Its the same question I have asked myself and my H. But even if there was just one, wouldn't it stand to reason there were more. Rarely do people cheat only once. In our case he swears it was only 1 person but I am 99% sure he is lying. I've decided to accept what he said as true and move on because I am also certain he is NOT cheating now. I think if they cheated more than once then chances are that there was a third, fourth, fifth increase greatly!


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## sunsetovernc (Jul 27, 2011)

In my experience, which isn't a lot, usually there is more to it than they confess to. However, only you will be able to tell if he/she is telling the truth or holding back. I'm a firm believer in intuition.


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

99% percent of the time there are more. My DH first said one....then I found 2...then it turned into 5....


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

The hallmark of a cheater is to lie, then lie to cover up the first lie, then a new lie to cover up the first two....

If they cheated with one person, it only happened "once" and they didn't like it.

Oh? You mean hundreds of times but you were really conflicted?

Oh? You only did it because "he'd tell me"?

Oh? It wasn't about the sex, yet you never went anywhere but his apartment and that was the only activity you did?

Oh? And that guy you never told me about when we were engaged "doesn't count"?

=====

See what I mean? For many cheaters it is a character issue--the lack of it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Everyone Lies.


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## mswren7 (May 8, 2011)

michzz said:


> The hallmark of a cheater is to lie, then lie to cover up the first lie, then a new lie to cover up the first two....
> 
> If they cheated with one person, it only happened "once" and they didn't like it.
> 
> ...


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## marital_discord (Jul 29, 2011)

These lies fit right in there with;

I was drunk,
She wasn't even as attractive as you,
She came on to ME,
She was only retuning my umbrella,
She's just a friend needing a shoulder to cry on,
I just met her - I'm not into loose women,
Nothing happened,
It just happened,

And...

It wasn't me!!!

My fav is, "I love you! Why would I want to hurt you that way???"


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## hurtbyher (Nov 19, 2009)

She told me of two. I am 99 percent sure of 3 others and suspect more than that. I am waiting for the whole truth but she hasn't come totally clean yet. I will probably have to ask again and see if she offers any more. She may never come clean. I struggle with that more than anything. I feel as if I am still being lied to.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

You know how a glacier floats in the ocean but only a small bit of that glacier is actually sticking out, while sooooooooo much more is below the surface.....it's kinda like that with cheaters. You'd be amazed at what is hidden beneath the surface.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I can only go by the married women I know who I know cheated and slept around. All but two were monogamous after a sort, only cheating with one man while still attached to their husbands. One cheated a few times in series. And one was banging 3 or 4 different guys at the same time while married.


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## BigBri (Jul 22, 2011)

Most definetly.


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## cj9947 (Jul 9, 2011)

Yup...I would wager there are always more than they divulge. Mine said said she had a PA with one OM. Checked the phones records and then she gave me an "O Ya". She forgot about the other man she had a three year EA with. Go figure how that just slipped her mind when I originally asked her if there were any other PA or EA partners. She looked me in the eye and said, "Absolutely not!!! I've told you everything."


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