# I feel like a ping pong ball



## horsezgirl (Aug 4, 2012)

I am oh so very confused and feel kinda like a ping pong ball. My husband of 3 1/2 yrs filed for divorce after a year of saying he wanted one, his reason being he just doesn't want to be married anymore and this marriage is the reason for all of his unhappiness(red flags right there). I've spent the past year really working on myself and this relationship, I am perfect by no means, but I've grown a lot in learning about giving without receiving. He has mentioned recently that be believes he has PTSD and has said he has no feelings for anyone or anything anymore. I honestly believe that's the reason for the majority of our problems. I asked him if he had thought about talking to someone and he said he had a few times in the past.

Now here's where it seems odd to me, during this whole year of him saying he wanted a divorce he has times where he seems completely happy and into the relationship and then suddenly he'll bring up divorce again. We have a good sex life, and he's still acts considerate and thinks of things like stopping and getting me a doughnut when he comes home from working nights or leaving the porch light on when I work late. After he told me Wednesday afternoon that he filed, later on that evening he asked if I was fixing dinner because if so he would stay home and eat with me even though his parents who live next door(another problem altogether) invited him only over. A couple months ago I left a note in his lunch the said “Rawr means I love you in dinosaur” and he would send me random texts with Rawr as recently as 2 weeks ago. Heck we still shower together and sleep in the same bed. I don’t know what to think anymore…. Is this how divorce goes or is this PTSD trying to take the person I love?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why would he have PTSD? What was the causing event?

His behavior has nothing to do with PTSD. He has figured out that he does not need to be married to you to have you. After all you still shower together and sleep in the same bed.

Does he help pay the bills? Or do you? What other things is he getting on this free ride?


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## horsezgirl (Aug 4, 2012)

He is military, deployed twice looking to deploy again soon, is the reason for PTSD. 

He knows once a divorce goes through I will never speak to him again. I left for a short time very early on in our marriage due to some issues so he knows I stick to my guns so to speak. In one of his unhappy moments months ago he tried to stay overnight at a friends(a guy) but he just couldn't do it and was back home by 2am.

He's been the main provider throughout our relationship, so he's definitely not getting a free ride. I work for a nonprofit, so I make enough to cover grocery's and my gas.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If PTSD is the cause of his irratic behavior the better not give him a weapon and re-deploy him.

His behavior could be influenced by PTSD. But I think that he is acting that way because you allow it. As long as you allow it he will continue.


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## horsezgirl (Aug 4, 2012)

I hope he doesn't deploy I can't even begin to think where that would put him mentally. 
It's a never ending circle every few months of his happiness to unhappiness, until now that he's actually filed papers. Signing papers for a divorce definitely would be cutting that behavior, but that's honestly not what I want to do. So I'm open to suggestions!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Could he be bi-polar?

The suggestion I have is for you to take a hard line. He's filed for divorce. The only way you will see him is if he ends the divorce and agrees to stay in the marriage.

What you are doing is helping him divorce you. He feels no pain for his actions.


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

sounds like you need to pull back and stop being so available. and he's got some real issues that need to be looked at. That only he can do. If he's possibly has ptsd stuff then he should be seen by a therapist and probably an ARMY doctor. 

get some distance so you can take a look at how crazy this looks from the outside. good luck!


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