# Husband is a con artist!



## iceit4me (Jun 20, 2010)

So my husband and I just had our first meeting with the marriage counseler. It makes me mad how he pointed all the blame on me came off as this nice guy that works so hard and has sore hands due to carpel tunnel. There are so many issues here. Then to top it off he tries to make the situation seem better by trying to suck up to me. He has never paid any attention to me before. Why now!! I hate this. We have 2 more sessions together then I will get my time alone with the counselor and tell her the whole truth about this conartist. I am soooo mad!!!!


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## iya12 (Jul 12, 2011)

This is sad...
Do you think your husband can still be the one you fell in love years back? What do you think will do that? Something can be done. Divorce is not an option. 

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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Why are you waiting until you are alone with the counselor? That makes no sense.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Well, for one...you are calling your husband, the man you are supposed to love and trust, a con artist. That is, in itself, messed up! And then, with animosity, you are saying, "Just wait until I get that counselor alone!!! Then I'll tell him what he's REALLY like!" 

This kind of animosity and hateful spite has no place in a marriage or in marriage counseling. You either want to work on it or you don't. If he is a liar and a fraud, as you indicate, then why even go to marriage counseling? 

I don't necessarily agree with iya12. Divorce is certainly an option in a lot of cases! But try to let go of this animosity and hate long enough to see if you can work on your relationship with your husband. One of you has to. And if you so vehemently believe he was lying, why wait until you are alone with the MC? Why not say it in front of him? You aren't there to win the MC over to your side - you are there, supposedly, to work on your relationship with your husband. If he's not being honest, say it in front of him. Are you afraid of him hurting you if you do? If so, then there are other issues much larger.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

A con artist about what? You don't say.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I think her husband is telling the counselor a very different story to the reality she knows, and while it is from his perspective some narcissists are very good at playing the victim and manipulating people into believing them.

I think that's what the Op is talking about.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

What good is being a psychopath if you're not charismatic?


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## MakinOurWay (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi Ice it for me (your handle is a nod to your cake-frosting business? clever), I've noticed that you've started many threads in the past month or so, but have not posted more than one time in those threads.
I think that if you could coalesce your experiences and how you feel about them into a single post, the helpful and experienced people on this forum could provide some of their keen insight. I'd recommend you to engage them thoroughly and frequently within a single topic that is solely about you.
It seems you need help and support in asserting yourself within your marriage and also in asserting control of your life and happiness.


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

Hi Ice, my best bet for you is to point out what you see, then, what you feel about it, and what changes will be made? during the session. If you wait until after you get your counselor alone, it just wont have the same effect as presenting your plate on the table for everyone to see at once. That way the counselor can do a better job at facilitating between your husband and you.


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## Larrelye (Aug 1, 2011)

During the session is when you talk about this. You say, "No. I don't feel that's how that happened." Or like at my house "If I'm hurt, he gets upset because I'm upset and then turns it around where I've hurt him and made him feel bad now I feel like crap because I've upset him and it's all my fault and I'm sorry." Call him on it. Right then in there. Not later, alone, in an anon forum. Right there in the room with him and the MC or you are both wasting your time.


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