# STD from my husband.. Help!



## baseballmom (May 1, 2011)

Well little back story, 4 weeks ago my military husband texts me saying he wants a divorce after our 8.5 year marriage and doesn't want to try and work it out and wants a divorce ASAP which leads me to believe that there is someone else. And since he is always gone trianing and such or so he says it would be easy for him to have someone else. We were also highschool sweethearts and virgins when we got together fyi. About a year and a half ago he texts me one morning and said that everyone at work was tested for stds and that his came back positive for chlamydia and that sometimes even married couples can get it by having anal etc. So I went and got tested and sure enough was positive and had to be treated and retested 4 weeks later and came back negative... Didn't really buy his story then but got over it and moved on. So last week I went to the doctor to get tested for every std possible because I just wanted to protect myself against the possibility of having an STD even though my husband and I haven't had any sexual contact since Christmas. Well everything came back negative but the Chlamydia test again. So I confronted him again today and he swears up and down that he has never cheated and it's probably a false positive! OK well I'm not buying it this time! Obviously I was retested the last time this happened and that test came back negative because the medicine worked! So there is no way that I could have gotten it back if he didn't do something with someone else!! I'm just so tired of him lieing to me, why can't he just be honest with me if we are going to be getting a divorce soon anyway? I never thought I would have to worry about getting std's from the 1 person I have been with... this sucks... 

So should I just let it go??


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Let it go?


No effing way!

Your husband is infecting you with an STD. This is something that can even make you sterile if it scars your tubes.

Add that in with the obvious route he acquired it.

Do not have unprotected relations with him ever again. he is not trustworthy.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Facts:

-1 1/2 yr ago your husband told you that you magically got chlamydia cause you're married via sex. Um, ok.

-4 weeks ago your husband tells you via TEXT he wants a divorce and there's nothing left to work out. What a pvssy coward.

-You're still debating whethere you should "let this go or not"

My advice:

Get treated for your chlamydia, thank the STARS it's not a lifetime STD and lawyer up. File for divorce and be done with him.

He is not worth your time. He can't even tell you the truth after saying he wants a divorce. It takes a true low person to keep lying after the fact, confronted w/ evidence.

Like Ronin said in another thread: there is nothing to save here except your respect.

Be done w/ him. STAT.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

in this case......

i'd "get smart" as fast as u can or u r gonna attract more/worse
dogs than him in your life after this MISTAKEN rel'shp.

("mistaken", right?)

I pray God delivers wisdom to all of us but especially the 
young or young at heart. for they are like sheep being led
to the slaughter, daily.

[hmmm, maybe the above paragraph would make a good
headliner/bottomliner? however one does these, that is]

shalom..........yededeed.


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## baseballmom (May 1, 2011)

Thank you all for the advice!! I to couldn't believe he texted me that he wanted a divorce and didn't have the balls to tell me to my face! What's worse is that we are stationed away from all family so he know's that I have no one here but our 2 kids so I was all alone and had to take the news alone and obviously couldn't let my 8 and 6 year olds know what was going on!! He is a great father and I am in no way trying to disrespect him in that sense but he sucks in the husband department!! Didn't used to in the beginning but now he does..

To top it off when he did finally talk to me 3 weeks later he actually had the nerve to say when the divorce final. If in the future sometime if i would ever consider having a "do over with him"!! WTF!! Why would I ever try again with him??? And why he ever want to try again?? I think when he see's that the grass isn't greener on the other side he wants to know if I will be around for him to come back to which I think he will be shocked to find out that I won't be there waiting around for him to come back to!

And yes I did immediatly got the medication for the infection and took it last night! Thank goodness the only one I tested positive for was a treatable one!! I just feel so disgusting for having an std even though it's not my fault by any means. And like I have said I have had no sexual relations with him since December and do not plan on having anything else with him ever again! 

I just don't know since he is in the military if I should keep pressing the issue for him to confess to me that he did cheat since that is against USMJ or just not really press the issue with it since we are going to be filing for divorce soon anyways??


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I would be concerned with what is best for you and your children. I would not be concerned, in the least, with any music he might have to face for his own actions. That is beyond your control. 

Take care.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

baseballmom said:


> About a year and a half ago he texts me one morning and said that everyone at work was tested for stds and that his came back positive for chlamydia and that sometimes even married couples can get it by having anal etc.


You get chlamydia from having unprotected sex with someone who has chlamydia.


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## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

Honestly, if you're divorcing anyway (good for you!!), I wouldn't push UCMJ action. Any potential reduction in rank or forfeiture of pay will only affect you negatively by making it more difficult for him to pay alimony/child support. 

Just keep your chin up, take care of yourself, and get out of there as quickly as possible.

And just PS - I'm a former Army medic and now married to one, and I have NEVER heard of random unit-wide STD testing. Like...I'm about 99.9% sure that would never happen unless someone else wants to step in and prove me wrong, lol.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

baseballmom said:


> To top it off when he did finally talk to me 3 weeks later he actually had the nerve to say when the divorce final. If in the future sometime if i would ever consider having a "do over with him"!! WTF!! Why would I ever try again with him??? And why he ever want to try again?? I think when he see's that the grass isn't greener on the other side he wants to know if I will be around for him to come back to which I think he will be shocked to find out that I won't be there waiting around for him to come back to!


That's exactly it. He wants to secure that you will still be around while he goes out and lives his life. he wants you to be his "safe bet." Don't. Carry on! He wants a D, give it to him, but don't be there for him when he realizes what he lost.


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## disbelief (Oct 31, 2010)

Sorry you are here. Using the UCMJ is a tough one especially since it could affect pay and you have kids so here's where it take the burden off of you. 
No matter the branch you are in there should be a Family support group, go see the base chaplain, the chaplain is in confidence, he may advise you on how to approach the chain of command, to a certain degree the command is responsible for the family.
Militaryonesource.com has resources for counseling, no charge.
The military has increased their efforts to save marriages.
But he gave you an STD you have every justification to be done. The command has the power to ensure you don't lose financial support from him.

Good Luck, hang in there.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

Anonymous_Female said:


> Honestly, if you're divorcing anyway (good for you!!), I wouldn't push UCMJ action. Any potential reduction in rank or forfeiture of pay will only affect you negatively by making it more difficult for him to pay alimony/child support.
> 
> And just PS - I'm a former Army medic and now married to one, and I have NEVER heard of random unit-wide STD testing. Like...I'm about 99.9% sure that would never happen unless someone else wants to step in and prove me wrong, lol.


just what i was thinking on both counts. he's obviously lying as its got a capital "L" written all over it, as in, LOSER, LOUSY, LOWDOWN, LINGERER, LOITERING, LOUSE, LIE....


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## baseballmom (May 1, 2011)

Exactly! And of course he kept texting me I can't believe you would actually accuse me of cheating!! Really?? Because I gave myself chlamydia right??? He's rediculous!! Just accept the fact the you got caught!


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## WWP14 (May 9, 2014)

baseballmom said:


> Well little back story, 4 weeks ago my military husband texts me saying he wants a divorce after our 8.5 year marriage and doesn't want to try and work it out and wants a divorce ASAP which leads me to believe that there is someone else. And since he is always gone trianing and such or so he says it would be easy for him to have someone else. We were also highschool sweethearts and virgins when we got together fyi. About a year and a half ago he texts me one morning and said that everyone at work was tested for stds and that his came back positive for chlamydia and that sometimes even married couples can get it by having anal etc. So I went and got tested and sure enough was positive and had to be treated and retested 4 weeks later and came back negative... Didn't really buy his story then but got over it and moved on. So last week I went to the doctor to get tested for every std possible because I just wanted to protect myself against the possibility of having an STD even though my husband and I haven't had any sexual contact since Christmas. Well everything came back negative but the Chlamydia test again. So I confronted him again today and he swears up and down that he has never cheated and it's probably a false positive! OK well I'm not buying it this time! Obviously I was retested the last time this happened and that test came back negative because the medicine worked! So there is no way that I could have gotten it back if he didn't do something with someone else!! I'm just so tired of him lieing to me, why can't he just be honest with me if we are going to be getting a divorce soon anyway? I never thought I would have to worry about getting std's from the 1 person I have been with... this sucks...
> 
> So should I just let it go??


Please let go. I am also a ex military spouse and was active duty and my ex allowed me to quit my job, stole my savings and gave me chlamydia, and I was pregnant and found out that I had cervical cancer. WALK away. I have been devoured by my ex husband. I am bankrupt, stuck with PID and he got himself treated and refused to tell me the truth. Now he has run to OHIO with his new girl friend who knows nothing and bought a house but ruined my credit and let me holding the bag. I know its hard trust me I know but don't stay protect yourself and go.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

It sounds like he hits any wh*re that spreads her legs and lies about it. Even serial cheaters rarely get STDs repeatedly unless their messing with prostitutes IMO.

Get away from him and never look back is my advice. Just try to learn from the warning signs that have been there. There are always warning signs in hindsight and they should be used to prevent getting with another slime.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)




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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Geez WWP14 you bated me. This thread is 3 years old. Thanks 3putt.


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## WWP14 (May 9, 2014)

Sorry it came up when I wrote my story. My husband did the same thing to me. I was not pregnant but he concealed it and now I am infertile. I had no idea.


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