# Part 3 story of my life



## lilly (Oct 29, 2009)

In January my Mom was put in hospice, I stayed with her 24-7. The night before she passed, I knew I could feel it. I so needed someone I broke down and called him many times with no answer. The next morning she past away. Then he called and wanted to know what was up. I really don't know how I kept it together to even talk to him and tell him about Mom. In my mind I could see myself taking all of my hurt and anger physically out on him. Latter I found out he was having an affair with a woman in Conway Springs. I stayed at Moms for another month or so and got her estate taken care of. In the mean time his job sent him to Tulsa to work, where he meet a woman and started an affair. He stayed there for 3 months. While he was gone I moved him out of my room into the front bedroom. When he got home he said he wanted us to be friends and roommates. I told him I would rather he just go ahead and move out. But he refused and said this is his house, No it's mine! Hence the new argument. I can hear him in the front bedroom having cyber sex with her, and it still just rips my heart out! I really think why he doesn't leave is because I'm unemployed. I supported him for the first 4 years we were together, he has supported me for the last 5. Now I don't know how to get myself back to even look for a job. I know I have to. But how do I get past feeling sick and having my heart in my stomach. I am in such a deep depression With everything I don't even feel like I have been able to fully grieve my Mom. I went to the Dr. and he gave me an antidepressant When I took it , I felt so weird I couldn't function so I quit taking them and went back to the Dr. after having an anxiety attack. He gave some xanax and told me to keep taking the antidepressant any way that it took time to take affect. I feel so lost all I can do is cry. I still try to make myself function around the house and refrain from any arguments. It's not so easy. I stand in front of the mirror and tell myself that I deserve to be happy that I'm a good person And this isn't my problem it's his. and anything I can think to help myself feel better. And I pray for the lord to ease my heart and show me the way. And here I am, typing and crying. How pathetic am I. Really need to figure out how to get me back!


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## Mrsgomez (Oct 24, 2009)

Oh you poor thing I have read all three and the answer is simple leave let him win if he wants to stay there so bad then let him but do not hurt yourself anymore then you already have he is not the one hurting you .... you are hurting you by forgiving him. I know it is hard but let him go and begin grieving your mother so that you can move forward. He will never change and is not worth your time or tears he simply does not care about you even if he says he does actions speak louder than words. good luck and I'm sorry


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## defeated (Nov 5, 2009)

its seems that your not alone. so many people on here have marriage problems either similar to yours or not. the more i read the more hurt i get for you. the worse i feel like my marraige will ever get better. it is like men just dont care about the woman in their life. i am starting to feel like men arent worth it you know. i hope that im not making this worse. im having problems too. luckily not that problem but all the same- i want for you to be happy. everyone deserves it. i think you should find a job, and get some therapy for just you. i think that unless he can agree to marriage counciling thats all you can do. take care of yourself


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

defeated said:


> its seems that your not alone. so many people on here have marriage problems either similar to yours or not. the more i read the more hurt i get for you. the worse i feel like my marraige will ever get better. it is like men just dont care about the woman in their life. i am starting to feel like men arent worth it you know. i hope that im not making this worse. im having problems too. luckily not that problem but all the same- i want for you to be happy. everyone deserves it. i think you should find a job, and get some therapy for just you. i think that unless he can agree to marriage counciling thats all you can do. take care of yourself



Go to another section and read up. It's hardly just the men.


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