# Asset split -- probably screwed.



## IMPTEE (Jun 29, 2012)

Going to make this short and sweet, looking for advice.

Basically found out W was cheating for months.

Confronted her about it (was recording the convo) and when I told her I knew about the affair, she asked what I knew and that she would neither confirm nor deny it. Then later in the tape she says that she will tell me everything after the papers are signed. Lot of other things that show guilt but she never admitted it. Bottom line is I don't think I have court admissible evidence of the affair. She doesn't know what evidence I have though.

The next day she moved all of her stuff out of the house and as she was leaving I gave her the D paperwork.

I pretty much asked for everything including the house. The only problem is I'm pretty sure she is preparing a counter-suit. We had a large down payment on our house, she put $20k premarital money on it.

My question is: Am I going to be on the hook for giving her back the $20k? What if we sell the house? In the video as we were talking about the asset split she says that I can have the house.

Any input will be appreciated.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Whether she keeps the premarital contribution to the marital home depends on your jurisdiction, length of marriage, and how you treated other non-marital assets. Some jurisdictions allow "tracing" which allows a non-marital asset to keep its characteristics after being mingled with marital assets, but its not a guarantee.
Before you start waiving the taped conversation around, check your jurisdictions laws. Some states require permission to record, and it might not be admissible. Sure doesn't sound like a firm agreement from what you've written, and likely not binding until reduced to writing anyway. Call you lawyer.


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## IMPTEE (Jun 29, 2012)

Pluto2 said:


> Whether she keeps the premarital contribution to the marital home depends on your jurisdiction, length of marriage, and how you treated other non-marital assets. Some jurisdictions allow "tracing" which allows a non-marital asset to keep its characteristics after being mingled with marital assets, but its not a guarantee.
> Before you start waiving the taped conversation around, check your jurisdictions laws. Some states require permission to record, and it might not be admissible. Sure doesn't sound like a firm agreement from what you've written, and likely not binding until reduced to writing anyway. Call you lawyer.


Only been married less than 2 years. Alabama is a one party state and it was recorded in the house so I should be good there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Her agreement needs to be in the divorce decree not a video. Have her quickly sign the divorce papers before getting much advice from her toxic family/friends.

As for the house equity, keep in mind the cost of putting up a house for sale, selling it, commision, etc. or even the cost of refinance if you go that way. If she decides to go after her 20k make sure to deduct the costs of either selling the house refinancing from her share.

In AL does adultery make much of a difference in divorce settlement?


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

like others have said, it all depends on your state laws. in michigan, we're no fault so you can sleep with everyone in the tricounty area and it doesn't effect your divorce.

i understand you are probably angry and hurt over the affair, but i would advise against acting out of anger. what she did was wrong, and i understand if you have no desire to R. i would be the bigger person and give her back what she put in. split joint belongings fairly. try to agree on as much as you can between the two of you, or you will both just be paying lawyers to watch you argue. if you are religious, this is the right thing to do. if you aren't, it will make you feel better in the end.


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