# 2 stay or 1 go??????



## whiteflag (May 22, 2010)

Long story short.

My husband and I have been married a short 4 years. In these 4 yrs. we've been through SO much.
Infidelity
Meddling Mother In Law (succumb to cancer)
Seperation 
Talk of Divorce
Blissfully Happy

Yes, we've been through all of the above. We're now at the blissfully happy stage (sorta).
Things have been going really well. We have recently been discussing a family (3) vacation. I was notified that I am going to be laid off within the next month (around the same time of the planned vacation).

While my husband was pretty supportive and encouraging regarding the lay off news, he now says that due to the impending lay off, it wouldnt be smart to take the FAMILY vacation, but asks how I'd feel about HIM going alone? as it would only be a 1/3 of the cost and the "other" money can be applie to bills until I find new employment.

Needless to say, I feel alienated by this. We are ONE in my book. I feel either we ALL go or we ALL stay because we're in this together, RIGHT? 

Honestly, as a law enforcer, he has a stressful job and well deserves a vacation, but how dare he suggest leaving me behind.

Im afraid if he goes, I'd resent him and if he stays, he'll resent me.....HELP!!!! Who's being selfish???


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## PrivateTalk (May 27, 2011)

WOW, I think he may not have meant it like it came out well at least I'm hoping because to think that it would be okay for him to go without you is very rude and ignorant, you are a married coulple that should mean you do things together if you can't afford to go together then none should go. If you don't want to get into that with him then let him know that turnabout is fair game and not to complain later if you plan a vacation without him when you can afford to go.  may sound childish now but make sure he truly thinks about it, that he cannot complain if you chose to jet off while he stays home.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Who was unfaithful? Was it him? If so, he probably wants to hook up with someone else-hence, the separate vacation.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

You deserve a vacation too. I say all go or no one goes. May want to use the money for bills, may need it. Or go on a less expensive shorter vacation.


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## Honie (Jun 26, 2011)

Firstly.. I'm so sorry to hear that you will be laid off.. it must be really difficult for you.

Secondly... are you kidding? No way are you the selfish one!!
That is SOO rude to you to want to go vacationing on his own!!

Maybe you could suggest you all go on a nice day trip (only cost will be petrol and you could even take a packed lunch from home if you wanted to keep costs down).

men!! 

Good luck with it


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## Gwendo74 (Jun 26, 2011)

ditto previous responses. this is way not fair,:scratchhead:


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## howardmyduck (Jul 3, 2011)

I wonder if because he's a cop he thinks highly of himself... A cop in a dangerous city vs a small home town makes it a lot easier, therefore it wouldnt be as stressfull, therefore I dont think he deserves a vacation. As well you just lost your job and the vacation could help you out have a good time with the people you love. And I thought it was a family vacation, im thinking that the vacation would have been in vegas, where u will be with the kids in circus circus and him in the palms, not really a family vacation. Where was the vacation
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## srena200 (Jul 13, 2009)

F-102 said:


> Who was unfaithful? Was it him? If so, he probably wants to hook up with someone else-hence, the separate vacation.


I go on vacations alone routinely as well as familly vacations. My vacations solo are not to hook up with anyone but just to do what I want since everyone is not always interested in the same places or things plus I enjoy some time alone - I would ask his reason for a seperate vacation. A real reason - not some bull**** excuse. If he needs some time alone than you should be privy to where he is and where he is staying.


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## maccheese (Jul 25, 2011)

Did he really ask this? How about just you two go and leave the little one with some relatives for a few days. That would cut cost to and you all would have some alone time or everybody does a shared sacrifice to cover the bills.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

And that he would leave you alone around your layoff is really low. That is just as stressful as almost any life event can be.
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