# Franchise and midlife crisis



## serafini2006 (Apr 7, 2009)

My husband and I have been married over 25years. He has worked at a lot of different companies and startups. He has never worked at any company longer then 5 years. At first I thought no problem each time he left a company in the beginning he made more money. My husband hasn't had steady work in 6 years. I lost my big time 10year job at HP in 2007. Then I found another job which doesn't even pay half what I use to make. We have been using savings his unemployment and his part time work to make up the difference in our bills. Our bills our at least double of what we bring in. Well my husband has been through a mid life crisis and has decided he is unemployable and decided that a franchise will solve all the problems. He has realized he didn't keep steady work because he was in the wrong line of business, IT. He considers working for companies'slave labor'. At one time I yelled at him 'oh it is okay for me to work for the man but not you'. I felt pressured into giving him stock I owned from HP 50,000$ worth to buy the francise.. he thought he could get a loan. Well he wants to use the house as collateral and I don't think I can sign up for that. I had told myself I would leave this past January if he didn't have a job. I don't want to leave my husband but I am very angry with him and resentful and lost most of my respect for him. We have been through couples counseling a couple of times. Sometimes it worked. I don't know how to leave this man. I take antidepressants to get through the days. Both our children our grown. My daughter still lives with us I am trying to get her through college. My husband says he loves me, but I feel like there is no relationship left. I feel sorry for him. Sometimes I think who is more screwed up in the head him for trying to start a franchise and get a loan against our house(which I understood would be our nest egg) when we can't even pay bills or me for staying with him. He says everything that comes into the house bills/paychecks/bday gifts are both of hours. I am tired of what I consider supporting this man. I feel and think why can't he grow up and take responsibilty.. Everyone tells me to leave this person but I don't know how to leave him emotionally. I don't know how to cut the ties. Thank you for any advice.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

About leaving emotionally.
Can be tough and confusing. I was in a relationship like that once 
( before I was married to my current husband) and it lingered on for years because my heart did not want to listen to what my head told it.
Finally.... I just got fed up and acted despite what my heart told me. It was not long after making the choice to leave I was happy I did, although initally, it was quite devistating.
I understand your situation about letting go emotionally because I was there at one time and it was very hard.
I guess what happened with me is my head won. It was the end of a very frustrating relationship to which I now feel I wish I would have ended sooner.


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