# Husband says he doesn't love me



## princess.pea (Jun 16, 2011)

My husband says he doesn't love me or even like me anymore and that he has 'woken' up after 16 years of marriage (and 20 years of being together). He wants to live apart. I still love him. It is just like he has suddenly changed and I cant change his mind back. He says the biggest mistake of his life was marrying me apart from our 2 kids. 
One of the problems I think is that my husband was an in demand model when he was younger and as he has got older he has got more handsome/ rugged looking (and richer). I was always amazed that a guy who looked like him paid me any attention what so ever, and as I have got older I have got fatter and lost any cuteness that I ever had. I recently found on his phone explicit txts from a 25yo woman (herself a beautiful former model) who he knew through work.
He hasn't been spending much time with us. The kids have been getting upset and ringing him trying to find him and get him to come home.
He hardly talks to me but mutters and I can't understand him.
I just want us all to be a happy family. I am trying my hardest but getting zero response from him. What should I do I am at a loss?


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I imagine that the more your try to get him re-involved with the family, the more he pulls back and avoids you. This can be devastating, and I am sorry your are going through this especially after being together for 20 years. I would stop trying desperately to get him back and work on yourself. You need to be a stronger woman whether he comes back or not.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

princess.pea said:


> My husband says he doesn't love me or even like me anymore and that he has 'woken' up after 16 years of marriage (and 20 years of being together).
> 
> * He says the biggest mistake of his life was marrying me apart from our 2 kids. *


Wow. What a romantic guy?
So he is having an affair and wants out. 
Solution: let him go.
The harder you cling, the worse for you. 
Do not beg or plead with him to stay with you. It will have the exact opposite effect you want it to have. 
Woman up and stand up for yourself.
Don't ever chase someone who is running away from you.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Read about the signs of a cheating spouse he seems to be following the script. Prepare yourself and protect yourself. Finances for you and tge family very important now. A 25 yo modal and a middle aged man rich man no matter how rugged expect him to spend money on her. She can have any man she wants a hot young man seems to be more sexually alluring but an older man will do if he is rich. 

I mention this because the script goes as follows she demands that he spends more and more money on her and he diverts money from the family caufer to give her what she want just to keep her. So get a handle on finances and get ready to protect your resources. If it should come to a separation and I think it will, get a legal separation so you are on firm financial footing. 

I may be jumping the gun and if you t all is good but if it goes according to pattern it may not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## coleyjole (Jun 18, 2011)

I think I kinda know how u feel.One day he just tells me he doesnt love me anymore I have accepted that he doesnt love me but what hurts me more is that he cant stand being near me. I dont know where all his anger is coming from. I have done nothing wrong. I miss him so badly - but the person he was. He has changed so dramatically. He has stopped seeing his kids because he has to contact me first. Why ??? When I try to talk to him he is abusive. He was always such a happy guy and loved his kids so much. What has happened to the man I knew - the man who chased me for years until I agreed to go out wit him ?? I hope that in time he will come to his senses and at leastbe my friend again


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