# Finally decided to leave my husband



## nouse (Sep 17, 2014)

I have been going through so much crap for the past 8 years and finally today I decided to just leave him. I am so tired of his abuse emotionally and mentally. Boy I am seeing him for who he really is. He is calling me evil and all kinds of other things. It used to bother me that he would do this to me in the past but right now I don't care. I will be leaving in the morning with all my things and my car. Oh he called me evil because I am taking my car with me. I owned the darned thing before we ever got married.

Just wanted to vent a little, I am shaking as I am typing this. He even had the nerve to tell me that If I want to stay that I need to change. Hell I don't plan to stay!


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

The hardest part is done - deciding it's over.

Now comes the brass tacks of it all. The actual Divorce part.

Try to remember to treat this as a business transaction. Leave emotions out of it. Split assets and liabilities accurately and fairly. You won't get everything you want but neither will he. Don't fight over silly things like Gram's favorite afghan but do hold fast to things that matter.

It doesn't sound like children are involved so a clean break is very possible. Don't make it a dirty fight, just remain calm and retain an attorney that shares these ideals.

Good luck to you.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I'm sorry, I know it sucks. I remember before I made the decision to leave my ex I went out of my way to tell him things I thought he did well. When I asked him to tell me what I did well his response was "I'm trying to fix that". Ok then, if I don't do anything right I'm sure you'll have no problem when I'm gone.

He's made clear he doesn't want you as you are, so if this if your path vent away and keep your head up. It will be ok.


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## nouse (Sep 17, 2014)

Revamped said:


> The hardest part is done - deciding it's over.
> 
> Now comes the brass tacks of it all. The actual Divorce part.
> 
> ...


Thank you revamped. I always wrestled with leaving him for a few years now and I guess today his lies pretty much broke the camels back for me. For some reason when I finally said I was leaving I just could not cry, guess I'm all cried out. I didn't even care whether he as calling me names. Yes it kind of made me mad, but not for long. I guess in heart of hearts I always knew it was over, but just did not know how to let go. All I want is to get alimony so that I can get on my own feet. I do not want a lot of money, just what is fair.


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## nouse (Sep 17, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> I'm sorry, I know it sucks. I remember before I made the decision to leave my ex I went out of my way to tell him things I thought he did well. When I asked him to tell me what I did well his response was "I'm trying to fix that". Ok then, if I don't do anything right I'm sure you'll have no problem when I'm gone.
> 
> He's made clear he doesn't want you as you are, so if this if your path vent away and keep your head up. It will be ok.


Thank you. I feel and know it is for the best. It is the only way that i'll have peace of mind. I am just tired of being tired all the time.


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## lakergirl (Oct 22, 2014)

Good for you. It takes a lot of strength to realize and accept that it is time to go. The actual breakup part will be rocky but once you get through all of that, the bumps and bruises will heal and you will be a much happier and healthier person for it. Be strong!


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## nouse (Sep 17, 2014)

lakergirl said:


> Good for you. It takes a lot of strength to realize and accept that it is time to go. The actual breakup part will be rocky but once you get through all of that, the bumps and bruises will heal and you will be a much happier and healthier person for it. Be strong!


 Thank you lakergirl. Yes I will be strong, I know that there will be bumps along the way, but I am determined to do what it takes to be happy. I will be seeking counseling for myself. I have been abused for so long that I need to know why I attract men such as my husband. 

I need to get me back.


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

In a prior post, you say you were married for about six years. That's not enough time to establish Alimony payments.

Alimony was designed to help women, after spending years at home raising a family, a leg up into the workforce by aiding the newly divorced woman in a financial way.

From what you describe, it does not apply to your circumstance.

You'll get laughed at by a Judge. Presented with evidence of such a short term marriage, it will be confirmed you have eligibility to enter the workforce with no aid.

In other words, your x isn't responsible for your financial well being after the decree is signed.

You better have a better plan in place.


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## nouse (Sep 17, 2014)

Revamped said:


> In a prior post, you say you were married for about six years. That's not enough time to establish Alimony payments.
> 
> Alimony was designed to help women, after spending years at home raising a family, a leg up into the workforce by aiding the newly divorced woman in a financial way.
> 
> ...


Oh I guess I must've misunderstood the law then, I was told that because he was the main income earner in the household that he probably would pay out some alimony, since he did not want me to work. But that's ok though I do have plans for myself.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

I do not know revamped's qualifications, and I certainly do not know the laws in your state, but look it up yourself. It doesn't sound right. 

No offense R, but she needs to remember she is on an anonymous website with people she doesn't know.


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## nouse (Sep 17, 2014)

MachoMcCoy said:


> I do not know revamped's qualifications, and I certainly do not know the laws in your state, but look it up yourself. It doesn't sound right.
> 
> No offense R, but she needs to remember she is on an anonymous website with people she doesn't know.


I am going to see a lawyer and see what are my rights, but either way it doesn't even matter whether I get it or not. I just want to let go and take care of myself. I think above all that is the most important thing.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Congrats OP

One day, in the near future, you will look back at this and laugh at yourself for putting up with this BS for so long.

I guarantee it, give it 6 months to a year.



nouse said:


> I am going to see a lawyer and see what are my rights, but either way it doesn't even matter whether I get it or not. I just want to let go and take care of myself. I think above all that is the most important thing.


Get your fair share, after all , he thinks he owns it ALL (which is not exactly fair, based on your car/evil statement).

But don't lower yourself to HIS standards (cause it's so easy to do so when other party is so inconsiderate).


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

MachoMcCoy said:


> I do not know revamped's qualifications, and I certainly do not know the laws in your state, but look it up yourself. It doesn't sound right.
> 
> No offense R, but she needs to remember she is on an anonymous website with people she doesn't know.


I've been divorced for seven years. That's my claim to fame. I don't try to know everything. 

Spousal Support and Other Marital Rights — public


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