# Feeling it Bad...Again



## corpsebride (Jan 22, 2012)

We have been living as "roommates" for over two weeks now. 
I felt like I have gone through the range of initial emotions and last week I asked him how we proceed. I knew I would feel like I had some control with a plan in place.
He said he would need to move out because it was awkward and that he was still attracted to me. He did NOT say he still loved me.
He asked if I wanted the house, and I don't. He said he didn't either, it was way too big for one person.
So...
I spent last week coming to terms with the fact that I would be staying here alone and how best to stage the place, etc, to put it up for sale. So many bad memories here, I have no attachment to the house.
He came home tonight and said "I know I told you that I would move out this week, but I really don't have anyplace to stay"
and also
"I thought about it, and I really don't want to sell the house"
"It has lost so much value and isn't worth as much, and I can just buy you out".
My heart has been racing ever since. 
I feel like all the emotions are back to square one!!
I have no plan. I don't know what to do now. Where am I supposed to go now!!


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

corpsebride said:


> We have been living as "roommates" for over two weeks now.
> I felt like I have gone through the range of initial emotions and last week I asked him how we proceed. I knew I would feel like I had some control with a plan in place.
> He said he would need to move out because it was awkward and that he was still attracted to me. He did NOT say he still loved me.
> He asked if I wanted the house, and I don't. He said he didn't either, it was way too big for one person.
> ...


I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I've been there and it is scary.

Where are you supposed to go? You have time. Search the classifieds for a rental that you can afford. Take your time. Weigh your options, both financial and esthetic. Don't over extend your finances or short change your needs.

Just as a short history lesson, my STBXH cheated on me but refused to leave the marital home. Our children are grown. He left me with no choice but to leave, to get away from him. So, just like you, I was left with the huge decision of where to go, keeping in mind my financial resources and the sort of residence where I could be comfortable. After several months of hoping he would leave and looking for a place on my own, I happened upon a lovely townhouse in a nice neighborhood. Moving was difficult (I'm a petite woman), but I had the help of my sons and their friends to help me move.

You can do this. Start looking for a place. Consider what sort of residence you could be comfortable in and what you can afford. Consider the neighborhood. Start boxing up your personal property and getting them ready for a move. Toss out what you will no longer need. Divide up the kitchen appliances and store what you want for your new place.

And most important, look forward to your future, not with dread but with excitement. Now that I have moved and have settled and everything is in its place, I can enjoy my new life.

Good luck to you.


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## MainStreetExile (Jun 26, 2012)

I absolutely agree with survivorwife: Take your time and do not rush. Leaving just to get away, before you can really afford to go, is extremely taxing on both your finances and your sanity. 

To make a very long story very short, when I learned of my STBXW's EA on Easter Sunday of this year I walked out the door with $150.00 to my name and only a part time job, no friends, no family that would have me, and one hastily packed bag of personal effects. Needless to say, things have not gone well since.

Be calm, if you can. Make a plan. Do not cut off your nose to spite your face.


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