# Need opinions on this



## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Here what happened, My stbx was cheating on me and decided to rip me off on the way out the door. She got 2 new credit cards and had the bills sent to my SIL house. She rang up 5k in cc debt she had the bills sent to my SIL house cuz she knew I would open those bills and if Im 50% responsible weather my name is on the card or not why wouldnt I open them?

Heres where Im looking for input, I have decided to cut my SIL out of my life because as far as Im concerned she contributed to me getting ripped off. My family thinks Im wrong.

So do you think Im wrong feeling my SIL was particially responsible for allowing those bills to be sent her house?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

B.
Do you have docs. like reciepts,emails, any records indicating her way out especialy dates? Maybe some docs. from cheating.

Docs. with dates may help in showing intent of fruad ( maybe mail fruad?)
This may help in small claims court, maybe even divorce court?


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Brewster 59 said:


> Here what happened, My stbx was cheating on me and decided to rip me off on the way out the door. She got 2 new credit cards and had the bills sent to my SIL house. She rang up 5k in cc debt she had the bills sent to my SIL house cuz she knew I would open those bills and if Im 50% responsible weather my name is on the card or not why wouldnt I open them?
> 
> Heres where Im looking for input, I have decided to cut my SIL out of my life because as far as Im concerned she contributed to me getting ripped off. My family thinks Im wrong.
> 
> So do you think Im wrong feeling my SIL was particially responsible for allowing those bills to be sent her house?


I think you'll probably find that over time you'll be blanking people you once thought of as friends.

Bob


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

the guy said:


> B.
> Do you have docs. like reciepts,emails, any records indicating her way out especialy dates? Maybe some docs. from cheating.
> 
> Docs. with dates may help in showing intent of fruad ( maybe mail fruad?)
> This may help in small claims court, maybe even divorce court?


So just so you know, there is absolutley no reason to spend time and effort to prove adultery in CA, its a no fault state.

I found out about the CCs from my brother when I got drunk with him. I knew she was having the bills sent to someone else house when I saw the D papers. I could subpena the CC companies to prove in court that she was hiding the fact that she was charging up debt but I dont know if that is worth the money to do.


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Here in my state - if your name isn't on the card - you are responsible for 50% of anything that was purchased that YOU used. So if nothing on the card was used by you, then you wouldn't be responsible for any of the debt. I don't know California laws though. You need to talk to an attorney about the bills.


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## tamara24 (Jul 14, 2010)

I would talk to the SIL. Maybe she got some sappy story from your wife and thought is was the thing to do. Did you have a good relationship with SIL before this? Talk first efore you cast blame.

Yes, I would get records from cc companies too. Check on the mail fraud issue too.

Good luck!


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

TNgirl232 said:


> Here in my state - if your name isn't on the card - you are responsible for 50% of anything that was purchased that YOU used. So if nothing on the card was used by you, then you wouldn't be responsible for any of the debt. I don't know California laws though. You need to talk to an attorney about the bills.


Unfortunatley here in this crappy state it doesnt matter whos name is on the card its a community property state, my only hope is to hope the fact she was hiding the bill by sending it to a residence I didnt live at I may get saved.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I know my state is a "community state" too, but something like those credit cards is another matter. Unless you signed as co-applicant on the agreement, you shouldn't be responsible. I'm just thankful I'm not responsible for all of my estranged husband's spending spree. It was over $50K, and all of those bills went elsewhere too.

As for the strained relations with your SIL, I would probably let that slide. You don't need to alienate your family. After the divorce, this woman is still going to be your SIL. Perhaps talk to your brother about how disappointed you are. In the conversation, ask that they stay out of the conflict between you and your wife. Even if your wife and SIL are friends, your SIL does need to appear neutral.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

827Aug said:


> I know my state is a "community state" too, but something like those credit cards is another matter. Unless you signed as co-applicant on the agreement, you shouldn't be responsible. I'm just thankful I'm not responsible for all of my estranged husband's spending spree. It was over $50K, and all of those bills went elsewhere too.
> 
> As for the strained relations with your SIL, I would probably let that slide. You don't need to alienate your family. After the divorce, this woman is still going to be your SIL. Perhaps talk to your brother about how disappointed you are. In the conversation, ask that they stay out of the conflict between you and your wife. Even if your wife and SIL are friends, your SIL does need to appear neutral.


This is very good advice, I have to much to lose in that battle, My Mom says the potential of the battle that may caused by this isuue is making her sick. There is no amount of money that can replace my Mom, I also dont want to lose my relationship with my brother

Anyways thanks for the spot on advice, which I will be taking.


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## Mandia99508 (Jul 15, 2010)

Why would someone do this? I don't understand.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Brew,
Thanks for the heads up up I didn't know CA was a community state.
I'm rethinking my sitch..


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Mandia99508 said:


> Why would someone do this? I don't understand.


Perhaps because I was angry, actually still am, and was wondering how others would deal with this situation. For some reason posting here, venting here seems to be theraputic for me.

For some reason this forum and some of the members help me process this crap.

Anyways that would be my answer to why I would like input or advice.

If your asking why my SIL would let her send the bill to her house, that would be because if I found out stbx opened up CCs I would have put an end to that real quick. SIL is stbx best friend, stbx is a financial train wreck.


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## Mandia99508 (Jul 15, 2010)

Brewster 59 said:


> If your asking why my SIL would let her send the bill to her house, that would be because if I found out stbx opened up CCs I would have put an end to that real quick. SIL is stbx best friend, stbx is a financial train wreck.



What I was asking was why you STBX would do this. Doesn't she KNOW that CC debt always comes back to bite you in the ass. Always. Regardless of who pays for it. Financial train wreck or not thousands of dollars in CC debt on you... that she spent... that's like cruel and unusual punishment.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Mandia99508 said:


> What I was asking was why you STBX would do this. Doesn't she KNOW that CC debt always comes back to bite you in the ass. Always. Regardless of who pays for it. Financial train wreck or not thousands of dollars in CC debt on you... that she spent... that's like cruel and unusual punishment.


Well it will ruin my credit maybe, but I will either file bankruptcy or refuse to pay, that biatch is getting away with this. Payback is a biatch and she picked the wrong guy to mess with.


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