# Where do I start?



## wild_irish_rose (Aug 6, 2011)

After 7 years of living in separation limbo, I have finally decided to file for divorce. But where do I start? I am very low income, H is fairly high income, he's going to be able to afford a way better lawyer than I can and I don't want to get screwed.

I already talked to the local free legal aid office and they won't take divorce cases involving child custody. The only divorce lawyer within 30 miles of where I live charges $150 an hour. There is a divorce mediator who is much cheaper but she says she works with both parties, not just one, and I know he'll never agree to that. Add to that he and I don't live anywhere near each other anymore (same state but 400 miles apart) which complicates things even more.

Advice from those who have been there, done that?


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

You can usually get a free consultation with a lawyer. Depending upon your case you may get a contingency plan where he goes after your husband for legal fees. Since you have children child support is a given. There is a chance you'll get some temporary support as well. Go get your free consultation.


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## wild_irish_rose (Aug 6, 2011)

Well I called a divorce mediator today. Mediation really seems like the way to go for us to save on attorney fees. Since he has blocked me from calling him, I gave her his number and she called him instead. She called me back a little while ago and says it sounds like he is willing to be on board with this although somewhat hesitant about the fact that I want 100% legal custody. Why he cares when he has absolutely NOTHING to do with our son's life is beyond me but hopefully we can hash that out in her office. I hope we can work out a mutually agreeable time to meet with her and get this over as soon as possible. After waiting so long to finally start the process, I really just want it to be over now.


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## wild_irish_rose (Aug 6, 2011)

Well I spoke to my WS today for the first time in months. Guess the mediator convinced him I'm serious about this. He continues to insist he doesn't want a divorce. He just wants to go on being married to me and living with her. Sorry but I don't think so anymore. He actually wants to meet with me privately and discuss the possibility of MC and reconciliation. Well, not unless you tell your (7 months pregnant GF) that you are done with her and prove to me that you mean it...


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## natasha1983 (Sep 2, 2011)

wild_irish_rose said:


> Well I spoke to my WS today for the first time in months. Guess the mediator convinced him I'm serious about this. He continues to insist he doesn't want a divorce. He just wants to go on being married to me and living with her. Sorry but I don't think so anymore. He actually wants to meet with me privately and discuss the possibility of MC and reconciliation. Well, not unless you tell your (7 months pregnant GF) that you are done with her and prove to me that you mean it...


Oh God, what an *******. I admire how well you are handling your situation and wish I could be half as strong as you. You deserve so much better. I hope everything works out for you in the end and that you find someone who appreciates you the way you deserve to be appreciated.


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## wild_irish_rose (Aug 6, 2011)

Just wanted to leave an update. My H and I scheduled a meeting with the mediator during my lunch break and he never showed up. Left me footing the bill by myself and now he is refusing to talk to me again. He asked me a lot of questions (via text message) about what I wanted out of the divorce and told me I wanted too much even though all I was asking for was legal custody of our son, whatever amount of child support the state awards me, the rest of my possessions that he has refused to give back to me, and for him to keep me on his employer's health insurance until COBRA runs out (2 years). Now he's blocked my cell phone number so I can't even text him anymore. It would appear that he is going to leave me no choice but to get a lawyer and serve him with formal divorce papers. Sure do wish we could have avoided going that route...


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