# Husband secretly saving naked pics to his phone



## lauren2013 (Jun 7, 2013)

This is driving me crazy! I cannot figure out why my husband will secretly look at pictures of naked women on the internet, snap a picture of them and save them to his phone. It doesn't bother me one bit if he peruses the internet checking things out or even watching porn, but to save images to his phone annoys me beyond belief. It makes me feel like I don't turn him on. I can't confront him because he would ask why I looked at his phone. He has looked at my phone, which never bothers me so the other day I looked at his and found about 12 pictures of naked women he took from the computer. So I had a stupid idea, I took avery sexy picture of myself and texted it to him, figuring he would enjoy looking at a picture of me. He said he liked it, but when I looked at his phone he deleted it and replaced it with those interest women. That really hurt my feelings. My husband never tells me I am beautiful, attractive, sexy etc. He never makes me feel loved and wanted by him. Don't get me wrong he isn't a jerk he just doesn't treat me like that. I know over the years this has led me to feel insecure. I am a very affectionate person where my husband kind of treats me like a cousin at times. When we go to bed we have a very active fulfilling sex life, but I am wondering if he is fantasying about these pics and that is why he has them on his phone. I am an attractive thin and athletic woman so I don't consider myself as ugly, although the longer this goes on I am beginning to look at myself and think maybe I am hideous. 
So my main questions is why would he save all these naked pictures?


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## jules1990 (Jun 13, 2013)

Ooops think you need the CWI fora, this stinks of a cheater!!!


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

He snaps a picture of the computer screen with his phone?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You have a few separate issues inter-related.

1. Your husband doesn't meet your need for words of affirmation/compliments.

2. Your husband, and I'm reading into your post since you allude to it but don't say it outright, doesn't seem to be very affectionate in word or deed.

Because of the above two, when he deleted your erotic picture, you felt rejected. And, who could blame you?

Because of the above two, the fact that your husband saves pictures on his phone of women from the web in secret, you feel both humiliated and rejected.

Try Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice and check out the emotional needs questionnaire. print out two for both you and your H. He sounds like a clueless numbskull, but not like a philandering pig.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

jules1990 said:


> Ooops think you need the CWI fora, this stinks of a cheater!!!


Could be, but don't think so. It's just internet pics (OP, are you absolutely sure of that?).


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

The problem isn't that he has naked pictures on his phone it's that he doesn't make you feel wanted, loved and sexy.


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

lauren2013 said:


> This is driving me crazy! I cannot figure out why my husband will secretly look at pictures of naked women on the internet, snap a picture of them and save them to his phone. It doesn't bother me one bit if he peruses the internet checking things out or even watching porn, but to save images to his phone annoys me beyond belief. It makes me feel like I don't turn him on. I can't confront him because he would ask why I looked at his phone. He has looked at my phone, which never bothers me so the other day I looked at his and found about 12 pictures of naked women he took from the computer. So I had a stupid idea, I took avery sexy picture of myself and texted it to him, figuring he would enjoy looking at a picture of me. He said he liked it, but when I looked at his phone he deleted it and replaced it with those interest women. That really hurt my feelings. My husband never tells me I am beautiful, attractive, sexy etc. He never makes me feel loved and wanted by him. Don't get me wrong he isn't a jerk he just doesn't treat me like that. I know over the years this has led me to feel insecure. I am a very affectionate person where my husband kind of treats me like a cousin at times. When we go to bed we have a very active fulfilling sex life, but I am wondering if he is fantasying about these pics and that is why he has them on his phone. I am an attractive thin and athletic woman so I don't consider myself as ugly, although the longer this goes on I am beginning to look at myself and think maybe I am hideous.
> So my main questions is why would he save all these naked pictures?


After reading your post, I thought you could use a man's perspective on the matter. 
I am 49 and have been married for nearly 28 years to the same woman, whom I dearly love and respect.
Your situation reminds me of my wife and I, except you state you and your husband have an active, fulfilling sex life. (My wife has dropped off in the sexual department as of late, but that is on another thread.)

I will be honest and state that I have done the same thing, (and 12photos really aren't that many considering all that he could have chose from on internet). 

Here's what happened to me. When I was away from my wife for several weeks for extended family reasons several years ago, my wife was feeling lonely, and the texting and phone calls were not enough, so we started "sexting" each other at night. The next day my wife sent me several photos of herself nude. They were quite the treasure for me and I had them on my phone for a few days, until I went to loan out my phone to my brother who needed to borrow it for several hours.
I didn't want him stumbling upon the naked, and quite obvious sexual photos of my wife so I deleted them. 
I could easily handle it if he happened upon the internet photos but not my wife's. 
Later, when I told my wife about her special photos to me, she whole-heartedly agreed and was quite thankful that I had thought to delete them.

That's just it. I could leave photos of nude women on my phone and not worry about loaning it to my brother, or a close friend, because they are just images of a stranger. There is no emotional attachment there. They are there for reasons of eye candy. Much like a pin-up calendar in a mechanics garage. The mechanic doesn't sit there, staring at the women on the calendar all day, he likes taking a glance once in awhile as he walks by. That's it, plain and simple.

If you think about it, what if your husband misplaced or lost his phone. The person who finds it might look thru his photos folder, and its easy enough spotting internet porn, and even easier spotting a personal and very private photo. Easy enough to match it up with the owners wife?? 

I'm not here to make excuses or bail out your husband, just give you some real reasons why he may have deleted them, and kept the others. 

You should ask him about it without being accusatory. If you approach it as a mother scolding a child he won't open up to you.
Trust me.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I don't know any straight men who don't like looking at naked women, no matter how married, happy, or in-love they may be. I don't because it's a waste of time, a waste of money, and my wife's reaction would probably be about like your's and it's not worth the drama. I think my wife is very sexy but there's no way I'm keeping naked photos of her on my cell phone. If I lost my phone or someone borrowed it, they'd be looking at my wife. I could care less if they looked at Bubbles, Bambi, Hot4U or whatever the chick with the nice hooties calls herself this week.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

There are apps to secure pictures on your phone. They can encrypt and password protect them in case your phone is ever compromised.


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

I would flat out ask him and tell him it bothers you. Why are you afraid of his reaction? There is nothing that would stop me from having a frank and honest discussion with my H about anything. Thats how you stop resentment and anger before it festers and grows like cancer. If he says "you shouldn't have been looking at my phone" just say "too late...lets talk". Tell him how you feel and try and understand why he feels the need to do this. I don't think any man would continue if they knew how deeply it hurt their wives.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If you confront him, what's he gonna do? Grab his phone, run into the bathroom and, uh..........maybe......pout......or something?


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

are these porn women he's snapping pics of, or pics of women in real life?


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

If the real issue is others seeing Wife Madonna pics on the phone, hubby should get smart phone savvy enough to hide them. Then the Other Woman pics would no longer get priority. Maybe I'm just spoiled cos I have an IT guy for my loverman H!!!


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

lauren2013 said:


> This is driving me crazy! I cannot figure out why my husband will secretly look at pictures of naked women on the internet, snap a picture of them and save them to his phone. It doesn't bother me one bit if he peruses the internet checking things out or even watching porn, but to save images to his phone annoys me beyond belief. It makes me feel like I don't turn him on. I can't confront him because he would ask why I looked at his phone. He has looked at my phone, which never bothers me so the other day I looked at his and found about 12 pictures of naked women he took from the computer. So I had a stupid idea, I took avery sexy picture of myself and texted it to him, figuring he would enjoy looking at a picture of me. He said he liked it, but when I looked at his phone he deleted it and replaced it with those interest women. That really hurt my feelings. My husband never tells me I am beautiful, attractive, sexy etc. He never makes me feel loved and wanted by him. Don't get me wrong he isn't a jerk he just doesn't treat me like that. I know over the years this has led me to feel insecure. I am a very affectionate person where my husband kind of treats me like a cousin at times. When we go to bed we have a very active fulfilling sex life, but I am wondering if he is fantasying about these pics and that is why he has them on his phone. I am an attractive thin and athletic woman so I don't consider myself as ugly, although the longer this goes on I am beginning to look at myself and think maybe I am hideous.
> So my main questions is why would he save all these naked pictures?


hmmm, what if, for security's sake, instead of keeping ur naked pics which may be accidentally leaked, he used those naked pictures of other girls and fantasize about u?


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## ritatud (Aug 2, 2013)

it's that he doesn't make you feel wanted, loved and sexy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Are you sure those pictures are from the internet? If you think they are, how can you tell?


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## Madman1 (Oct 24, 2012)

He might be looking for an untraceable way to get some porn so he can go in the bathroom at home/work to whack off.

Who me? No never, honest.

Hopefully he is not directing his romantic energy to these pictures, is he normal (for him) otherwse?

ETA:Also as asked above could they be from dating sights? Dosent mean he is looking for a real woman there, but he may be romantically unable to go outside himself. His happiness is held back in some way maybe? IC might help.


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Are you sure those pictures are from the internet? If you think they are, how can you tell?


Since I haven't seen the photos on the OP's husband's phone, I am not going to say whether they are or aren't. 

However, I can say with a fair amount of certainty that photos of porn and/or naked woman that are displayed on the internet have a professional quality about them with how they are lighted, how the women are posed, etc., but most of all the women themselves are usually in better shape, condition, skin tone, hairstyle, etc. than most women out there. 
Unless, of course, he is pulling them from some "amateur" porn sharing websites.

In my day, I have taken several photos of my wife, posed for me in the buff, and they are great, but do not compare to the professional quality of photos that I have seen on the internet.

You can just tell the difference between the two.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

since many here are guys, let's turn the story around, would u allow ur partner to keep pics of naked hunks on her phone?


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

malmale said:


> since many here are guys, let's turn the story around, would u allow ur partner to keep pics of naked hunks on her phone?


I've had this convo with my husband before,
he doesn't really mind porn for a quick release if we can't have sex for whatever reason but images on my phone he wouldn't be to happy about.


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

malmale said:


> since many here are guys, let's turn the story around, would u allow ur partner to keep pics of naked hunks on her phone?


Your comparing apples and oranges. Most women aren't wired that way. That's why most porn is made and consumed by men.

However, how many women have read "50 Shades of Grey" or other erotic romance novels and play out those fantasies in their heads while making love to their SO? 

Let's just call erotic literature what it is. Porn for women.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

TiggyBlue said:


> I've had this convo with my husband before,
> he doesn't really mind porn for a quick release if we can't have sex for whatever reason but images on my phone he wouldn't be to happy about.


haha
I personally wont mind, not that it really affects anything in my opinion...
but for sure my wife is against any of these, she just couldn't find any logical/feasable answer if some friends or relatives would stumble upon such pics on her phone, so for her, it is better never than to be sorry


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Batman4691 said:


> Your comparing apples and oranges. Most women aren't wired that way. That's why most porn is made and consumed by men.
> 
> However, how many women have read "50 Shades of Grey" or other erotic romance novels and play out those fantasies in their heads while making love to their SO?
> 
> Let's just call erotic literature what it is. Porn for women.


yes, for sure it is not an equal comparison! I was just curious to see the reactions of u gentlemen if you were to find ur partners having pictures of nude hunks on their phones


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

malmale said:


> yes, for sure it is not an equal comparison! I was just curious to see the reactions of u gentlemen if you were to find ur partners having pictures of nude hunks on their phones


I think if I found hunky nude male pics on my wife's phone I would be shocked, but not in a bad way. 
At least I would know that she still has an eye or thought for that sexual part of her that I haven't seen in a long time. 

Plus it would give me added motivation to train a bit harder at the gym and stick to my diet a bit better.


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