# Game, PUA and Marriage 2.0



## MisterNiceGuy (Jan 26, 2011)

I've been studying this stuff for the past few days. It's really all starting to make sense to me. Where I've been with my marriage, why it is failing, maybe how to get it back on track. I don't even know if I want to get my marriage back on track, other than I will have two fvucked up kids if my selfish wife moves out. My older son is starting to get in trouble at school and the kids are really picking up on our vibe. I can hardly wait until they are teenagers. This whole Marriage 2.0 this is so true.

Anyway, I found this blog post and it's a good primer on how avoid this in your marriage: Avoiding the fate of the AMC 

■Study “Game” or learn the art of seducing women. Than seduce your wife…over and over again.
■Don’t become predictable.
■Constantly DHV. Always remind her at every opportunity that presents itself as to how lucky she is to be married to YOU.
■“Neg” her regularly.
■Learn to recognize her **** tests.
■Understand that ULTIMATUMS are the ultimate **** test. Never, ever, EVER give in to an ultimatum.
■Call her on her bull****…the biggest of which is using sex as a bargaining chip. The second you give into her attempts to make sex a bargaining tool, you’ve placed your sex life into the category of competitive rather then complementary. It’s a power play you WILL lose.
■Be decisive and confident. Ask her for her opinions…but NOT her approval. This also ties in with not being predictable. Plan things for her and your family to do…but don’t tell her about it. Just tell her “we got plans, get ready.” Give her as little details as possible — only enough to ensure she wears the appropriate apparel. Tease her whenever she asks about your plans…in this way, you build up her sense of anticipation and mystery. If you learn to do this right, you can actually make her excited about doing things that would otherwise be repetitive and mundane.
■Never let her dictate big purchasing decisions. You can take her opinion into account…but remember that you should have final say. No bargaining either. “We’ll get the minivan now, you can buy your sports car later.” 
■Maintain friends and interests of your own…especially those considered “masculine.” Hunting, fishing…whatever. Something for which you can go and do without her.Â Never give up your hobby or recreation ESPECIALLY if she tries to get you to stop.Â Hunters, hunt. Fisherman, fish. Surfers, surf. Skiers, ski. Ballplayers, play ball. She knows what kind of guy she’s marrying and the hobbies he enjoys. Her trying to get you to quit your hobby or activity is really just a **** test to see how much of a spine you have.
■Never EVER let her “OWN THE HOUSE.” Don’t let her designate one area as your “man cave” and the rest of the house is her domain to decorate and furnish as she desires. Let her have some rooms…like bathrooms and kitchens (especially since your not going to marry a woman that isn’t spending significant time in the kitchen in the first place…). Make sure the common rooms have evidence that a MAN lives there too. This, of course, does not mean you shouldn’t have your own “man cave.” Just make sure it is not the ONLY room in the house that looks like a man dwells there.
■Do NOT be afraid of her emotional state. She is a woman, and emotional instability is simply how she is designed.


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## lime (Jul 3, 2010)

MisterNiceGuy said:


> ■“Neg” her regularly.
> ■Never let her dictate big purchasing decisions. You can take her opinion into account…but remember that you should have final say. No bargaining either.


As a woman, I agree with the majority of that list except these 2 points. If you're already having problems within a marriage, "neg" comments--even playful ones--can be interpreted as insults and create more distance and resentment.

I don't think that any one person in a marriage should have the "final say" when it comes to financial decisions. It's good to never let her decide, but the husband shouldn't be the only one deciding either. Especially if it's a two-income household, but even if it isn't, money should be shared and financial issues should be thoroughly discussed together.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

lime said:


> As a woman, I agree with the majority of that list except these 2 points. If you're already having problems within a marriage, "neg" comments--even playful ones--can be interpreted as insults and create more distance and resentment.
> 
> I don't think that any one person in a marriage should have the "final say" when it comes to financial decisions. It's good to never let her decide, but the husband shouldn't be the only one deciding either. Especially if it's a two-income household, but even if it isn't, money should be shared and financial issues should be thoroughly discussed together.


I agree with your 2 points and I'll add one more to the list. Being too unpredictable would unhinge me. I personally need stability in my life. I thrive on routines and don't like surprises. For me this comes from an abusive, chaotic childhood so I know I don't speak for all women just me. 

The rest of the list I'm okay with.


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## luckyman (Apr 14, 2011)

Wow! You reminded me of how I lost it when my ex and I were trying to reconcile. Actually, I was the only one working on reconciling, she was already "checked-out." I kept a journal and each day I had long entries that listed all the new behaviors and attitudes that I was going to try. I was working too hard on trying to revive a relationship that was long dead. I did improve myself in the process, but not before I turned myself into a neurotic wreck! 

It took individual therapy, a period of celibacy and careful dating before I began to realize that I had been trying to beat a dead horse for two years. I pray that you aren't making the same mistake I made. Looking back, I needed the entire experience to wake me up. I grew tremendously from the experience and I remarried to a woman who is now my best friend...a woman who adores me. 

I never knew that a relationship as I now have with my wife was possible, but I had to recognize that my former marriage was over before I would be able to have what I now have. Today I am grateful, and in love with my wife...and it's MUTUAL!


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Reliability and predictability are two separate things. 

You can be "unpredictable" in the sphere of play/entertainment while being highly "reliable" in all the important stuff.




magnoliagal said:


> I agree with your 2 points and I'll add one more to the list. Being too unpredictable would unhinge me. I personally need stability in my life. I thrive on routines and don't like surprises. For me this comes from an abusive, chaotic childhood so I know I don't speak for all women just me.
> 
> The rest of the list I'm okay with.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Wow, don't include her in major decisions, criticize her often and know that she is mentally unstable? Yeah, that's a sure fire way to win over a woman. The only women this works on are ones with low self esteem and daddy issues. If that's the kind of woman you want, more power to you.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Star said:


> MNG, there is some "ok" advice in there BUT also some pretty crap stuff too as Brenan has already pointed out, I would tread with caution on the crapier stuff.


PUA = Putting up with a$$sholes.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

B,
I agree with you. This list has some ugly stuff in it. 

I would say that my W is more emotionally volatile than I am. And she seeks more volatility than I do. I wouldn't call her "unstable". Spirited in a mildly crazy but incredibly positive way. 

I would say that giving my W control of the entire house in terms of decor/etc. has created a situation where she gets confused and thinks it is HER house. And she can be very aggressive about it. I blame myself for that, as there have been things I should have done over the years to make sure she thinks of it as "our" house. Either way, when I need to assert myself regarding the house, it is very painful since she is so territorial about it. 




Brennan said:


> Wow, don't include her in major decisions, criticize her often and know that she is mentally unstable? Yeah, that's a sure fire way to win over a woman. The only women this works on are ones with low self esteem and daddy issues. If that's the kind of woman you want, more power to you.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Not sure how some of them could build a better marriage, but maybe its just me. One of them really stood out from my past. My wife is super feminine in her tastes and initially turned our home into a Victorian museum. Even my desk had doilies. I told her that she was welcome to keep this decor as long as she let me have the living room, and plaster the walls with Pabst Blue Ribbon tin sheets before the individual cans were cut, which we had seen at a flea market. We settled on a happy medium, sans the beer decor, that we both really liked. Contemporary classic. I prided myself on the diplomacy. No demanding, just 50 / 50. Recently, our home was featured in our Realtor's magazine for the modern decor. Honest, no beer cans and no lace doilies.


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