# You Gotta Keep Your Sense Of Humor



## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Either the people in here are depressed or living with someone who is depressed. You may be both! But I found out tonight that you gotta keep your sense of humor, even though this sh!t isn't funny.

Going on 50, H will not go to the doctor to get help of any kind, he won't get out of bed, he won't have sex, he just exists. As a result, I got depressed, that sh!t is catchy! Tonight he tried to start fights with me, yelling at me and whatnot, things he rarely does and I just made fun of him. Like "look at your face! All scrunched up like that, boy you are a handsome man!" and he had no comeback. Usually I take the bait because I am the more vocal and LOUD mouth in our relationship.

Then old grumpy got out of his chair and went to the kitchen for his nightly 5th of rum and coke that he knows I hate but doesn't care. I grabbed a cold bottle out of the freezer and chased his cranky azz all over the kitchen making him jump like a little girl. By the end, his nipples were hard, he had goosebumps on his back and I am pretty sure there was some shrinkage going on down south.

That is how I get him to exercise. One night he got mad and I told him to bite me and as he was walking down the hallway he called me a c*nt. I picked up a stick and chased him around the house in his boxers that kept falling down, trying to nick his knees and ankles, laughing the whole time. I was, he was trying to get the stick.

I think people who live with extremely depressed people and take care of them and love them should get paid money. Real green American money. 

Okay, right now I have my ITunes blasting loud like I like it, heavy metal music, evil stuff he hates, subwoofer blowing out air and shaking my room and I know that old man drinking in the kitchen is getting pissed. BOO FRICKITY HOO. You don't get to call me a c*nt and expect me to worry about my music bothering you. 

The reason for this message? Disengaging emotionally from someone so dark and depressed is like you are lifted off the floor and grow wings. All these years I would suffer in the trenches with him and got depressed myself. Doing the 180 is not a cure all, but it does give you some great perspective when you can crawl out of your spouses dark and angry brain and focus on yourself and what makes you happy. These people will only get help when they are ready and all the nagging, *****ing, silent treatment, etc. does NOT work.

Just remember who you are inside. Never lose sight of that. Get it in your mind that you will never be able to change them, all of your efforts will be futile and nothing is your fault. 

I am going to get up, brush myself off and go live my life. I deserve it, I've been trying to get this azz to snap out of it for 20 years. I should get an award or something. 

Hang in there everyone and remember KEEP LAUGHING :rofl:

If you can't laugh, then I will invite you to my home where we can all chase my H around with sticks and ice cold bottles of pop. Sounds like a plan! :smthumbup:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

So true. Co-dependency no more! Laugh and laugh often. I just ate shet in the garage and we died laughing. Hurt like a betch and I'ma be bruised and sore tomorrow, but that was some funny shet. 

Life's too short to be so serious all the time.

Good to see you laughing.  Even if the situation kinda sucks.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

As usual that_girl, you say the kindest things to me. Now this eating shet thing? What the hell does that mean? :rofl:

You are right, if we focus on how much our lives suck, then our lives are just gonna suck! It seems simple but is really hard to do in some situations.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I fell in the garage. Not my brightest moment. LOL I tripped on a kid's toy and "ate shet". Omg. lol. Funny and PAINFUL but we laughed. And I laughed at myself!! What a fool! 

My friend and I joke about our "problems" during the day and laugh at them. We call them "white people problems" or "1st world problems". People around the world with real problems don't give a crap about what we complain about. EVEN THOUGH we are experiencing pain/sadness/whatever. I don't mean to discredit it. It's all perspective. Change your perspective, change your life


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

And this may seem trite, but at my darkest moment, I think to myself, "Why not me?" Instead of "why me?" People suffer every moment on this earth. Someone right now is going through something I hope to god I never experience. So...when you are low and feeling shetty, think to yourself, "why not me?" we are no better or worse than anyone else who is suffering. It is just our time to suffer.


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## JoeRockStar (Jun 5, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> I think people who live with extremely depressed people and take care of them and love them should get paid money. Real green American money.


Agreed, it's quite the exhausting job isn't it?



> Okay, right now I have my ITunes blasting loud like I like it, heavy metal music, evil stuff he hates, subwoofer blowing out air and shaking my room and I know that old man drinking in the kitchen is getting pissed. BOO FRICKITY HOO.


:smthumbup:



> The reason for this message? Disengaging emotionally from someone so dark and depressed is like you are lifted off the floor and grow wings. All these years I would suffer in the trenches with him and got depressed myself. Doing the 180 is not a cure all, but it does give you some great perspective when you can crawl out of your spouses dark and angry brain and focus on yourself and what makes you happy. These people will only get help when they are ready and all the nagging, *****ing, silent treatment, etc. does NOT work.
> 
> Just remember who you are inside. Never lose sight of that. Get it in your mind that you will never be able to change them, all of your efforts will be futile and nothing is your fault.
> 
> I am going to get up, brush myself off and go live my life. I deserve it, I've been trying to get this azz to snap out of it for 20 years. I should get an award or something.


Some days it's easier than others my dear.  I can pull it off for weeks at a time and feel GREAT but some days it gets so damn lonely....like today for me.


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