# How to be a Good Older Brother at 25.



## lalsr1988 (Apr 16, 2012)

Well, as the subject says, I am 25. I am married, with three children. I just found out that my Dad and Stepmom are expecting. I am excited. I am hoping for a very close relationship with my sibling as they grow. I do not have a good relationship with my sister. I have tried to, but she blocks me at every turn, so this is like a second chance to me. However, they live about 700 miles away, and due to my their religious beliefs, do not celebrate Holidays or Birthdays. I have been informed by them that I am very welcome in their's and the babys lives. How can I be a good big Brother again, due to the large age gap, as well as the lack of Holidays to spend family time together. Any suggestions?

Thank You


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

The same way you are a good dad. You become a physical presence in his life. As a baby, this is good because he will always have known you. As he gets older its important to be a consistent presence because kids don't play catch up too well in the absence of spending concentrated intense time together. But, you're 700 miles away so...not sure how you bridge that gap.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Personally I think you will be more likely to be an "uncle" figure to this younger half sibling than to be a "brother" figure.

The age gap may mean that this new child will have more in common with your children that yourself and the 700 miles will mean that even with the best will in the world you will not see each other as frequently as you might otherwise have.

There is no reason you cannot have a good relationship despite these limitations but it will not be the same as if you had grown up in the same house sharing each other’s daily lives.

As always the more time and effort you are able to put into a relationship the greater the chances of success.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

It's a very different sibling relationship. My oldest girls are 22 and 20 and do not live at home. We have a 1 year old son.

They are much more like close aunts than sisters but they do make sure to spend time with him as often as they can.


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