# Friends after Divorce



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Has anyone been able to remain friends after their divorce? Do you think it is possible and if so, how?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

With or without kids?

I know you want kids, but are you wanting to also remain friends with your wife if you divorce her?

(I am sorry if I have you confused with someone else... I *think* I remember your story...) 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

YinPrincess said:


> With or without kids?
> 
> I know you want kids, but are you wanting to also remain friends with your wife if you divorce her?
> 
> ...


No kids. I think you have the right person in mind. And yes, I would want to be able to maintain atleast a friendly relationship if we got divorced. She is an important person in my life, you don't just throw those important people out of your life completely.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

You may have to if you meet someone else... 

My ex was my best friend... I had a hard time letting him go, even after all he'd put me through.

I think the natural process is that you'll slowly grow apart afterwards... :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

But when you have shared that much and been that close, if it ends peacefully ( I know many marriages end very badly), could it be possible to carry on as someone you keep up to date with each others lifes. I hate the idea of being close to people (even friends) and then something happens and you have no idea how they are doing, how their life is going. 
I know I don't want her out of my life completely.


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## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

I'm hoping for yes, although that's because we have kids. I don't know how I'd feel about it without kids. We'll be 'friends', but not the same as with other friends, because there'll always be that elephant in the room (divorce). Our divorce, still in its early stages, is going pretty well, mostly because we are both conflict-avoiders and generally cooperative, and don't have an affair causing grief. We married young, so we've been part of each others lives for all of adulthood, so yeah, it'd be hard to just walk off and never speak again because the romantic feelings died. I wouldn't call him every day, maybe around holidays or every now and again, but we have to respect the boundaries so we can both move on.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

gbrad if you want to see more responses to your question sooner, read this thread:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/life-after-divorce/58663-can-you-divorce-friends.html


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## cooljay (Oct 6, 2012)

My stbxw has told me several times that should she decide she wants to go through with divorce she still wants us to be friends and all "for our daughter". Should that happen I'll be civil to her and friendly yes, but will I be an actual "friend" of hers? No, just doesn't work out like that.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

cooljay said:


> My stbxw has told me several times that should she decide she wants to go through with divorce she still wants us to be friends and all "for our daughter". Should that happen I'll be civil to her and friendly yes, but will I be an actual "friend" of hers? No, just doesn't work out like that.


Friendly but not friends.

I've had actual friends ask me to spot them cash.

When I say no, they aren't p1ssed.

Lol.


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## lostinspaces (Oct 22, 2012)

I wish it were possible but I just don't see how. If you are in a situation where only one side wanted the D I think it would be way to hard on the "hurt" party. As much as i'd want it, I just don't see how remaining close to my stbxw would be healthy for me. I think some part of me would always be trying to win her back in that situation.


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

UpnOver said:


> Friendly but not friends..


I'd have to go with this. My Stbx wants to remain friends, but I somehow doubt I will be hanging out with her and doing the kind of stuff you do with a friend. Of course I was the one dumped and rejected so I'm sure that plays into it.


lostinspaces said:


> I just don't see how remaining close to my stbxw would be healthy for me. I think some part of me would always be trying to win her back in that situation.


Exactly. Even now when I'm around her I'm not being myself and trying to look, act and be something I imagine she wants me to be to win her back, Aka the 180.


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