# Single mother with 13 year old son



## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

What advice would you give to a single mother with a child on finding a place to live in good schools who only nets $1300 a month? Her son is 13.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

First off, get any kind of public assistance that she can get. Where I live, with that low of an income she can get help.

Also go to GoodWill. They have services that help women with children get into a place to live. They can probably help her get a job.

Why is her income that low? Is she working? Does she have job skills and/or education?

Where is the child's father? Is he helping?

ETA: there are also church's that would help her.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Oh boy.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

This is terrible but true - most school districts have a website and they show how many kids at any one school are on free or reduced lunches. Pick the school that has the lowest number of kids on free and reduced lunches and find ANYWHERE to live in that school service area. And here's why:

A child's success in life can be narrowed down to one factor: their zip code. 

Get on the waiting list for rental assistance, and in the meantime, find a living situation in a basement or studio apartment. Ele is right - $1,300 a month will qualify someone for a lot of government assistance. And don't forget the Earned Income Credit when she files her taxes. I bought two (very second-hand) cars that way when I was a single mom on welfare.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> First off, get any kind of public assistance that she can get. Where I live, with that low of an income she can get help.
> 
> Also go to GoodWill. They have services that help women with children get into a place to live. They can probably help her get a job.
> 
> ...


Absentee father, so nothing there

She is a bartender for a highend private club with great benefits 32 - 40 hours a week with varying schedule.


She has been with the club for ten years, very loyal and afraid to leave her solid benefits

highschool graduate, but not strong academically


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Can yall list out the government assistant programs, I am clueless.

I've never had to bark up that tree.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

She could try looking into a charter school for her son.

The charter school near us doesn't cost a thing and has no residence restrictions.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Can yall list out the government assistant programs, I am clueless.
> 
> I've never had to bark up that tree.


What state are you talking about?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does she know where the father is?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

a lot depends on the state and municipality she lives in for what assistance may be available. I would've thought she get a bit more take home bar tending in a high end club from tips but apparently not.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

It's good she has benefits.

If she lives in a state that has 2-1-1, she should start there. 2-1-1 US: Home Page

Salvation Army is also a good place to call. They usually have food banks and she would probably qualify for that.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> What state are you talking about?


Alabama



EleGirl said:


> Does she know where the father is?


I know at one point in time she did, but not sure and will verify



Maneo said:


> a lot depends on the state and municipality she lives in for what assistance may be available. I would've thought she get a bit more take home bar tending in a high end club from tips but apparently not.


Bimngham, Jefferson County, Alabama... me too, but she works day shift mostly unless they are doing big parties so she can be home at night with her son.



SecondTime'Round said:


> It's good she has benefits.
> 
> If she lives in a state that has 2-1-1, she should start there. 2-1-1 US: Home Page
> 
> ...


Thanks

She looked into Section 8 housing but they are not taking applications at this time and they are mostly in bad school systems. Her son has been in private school all this time, so I don't want to see that effort wasted by bad schools now.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

firebelly1 said:


> This is terrible but true - most school districts have a website and they show how many kids at any one school are on free or reduced lunches. Pick the school that has the lowest number of kids on free and reduced lunches and find ANYWHERE to live in that school service area. And here's why:
> 
> A child's success in life can be narrowed down to one factor: their zip code.
> 
> Get on the waiting list for rental assistance, and in the meantime, find a living situation in a basement or studio apartment. Ele is right - $1,300 a month will qualify someone for a lot of government assistance. And don't forget the Earned Income Credit when she files her taxes. I bought two (very second-hand) cars that way when I was a single mom on welfare.


This is the main reason my H and I have considered sharing a residence with her so that he can go to the excellent school system we have our son in.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I have known single parents who have had low incomes and homeschooled.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

jld said:


> I have known single parents who have had low incomes and homeschooled.


What was their income stream?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Blossom Leigh said:


> What was their income stream?


The one I am thinking of got a small amount of support from the child's father, not sure how much. She cooked meals for an elderly lady, so that was some income. She lived in a very modest place, too, maybe one room. Not sure if she even had a car or not. They lived in a medium-sized city.

She was very frugal, the type that would find helpful items by sorting through other people's trash. Not prideful at all.

It was really important to her to be a sahm. Her son was a very nice kid. She was devoted to him.

I knew them in the late 90s/early 2000s. Not sure what has happened since.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

We have pride to deal with here for sure and a brand new car to get rid of.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Blossom Leigh said:


> We have pride to deal with here for sure and a brand new car to get rid of.


Pride, when it stands in the way of seeing truth, is a tough obstacle.

Did she take a loan to buy the car? She won't be able to sell it without losing money.

Gosh, it is hard to see people get themselves in over their heads financially.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

jld said:


> Pride, when it stands in the way of seeing truth, is a tough obstacle.
> 
> Did she take a loan to buy the car? She won't be able to sell it without losing money.
> 
> Gosh, it is hard to see people get themselves in over their heads financially.


Yes she will lose money if she sells it and the payment is half of her income. How she ever qualified I will never know. Banks are opportunist sometimes and it makes me sick. It is why I got out of the mortgage business. I started in it when I was 19 and by the time I was 32 the main thought that was running through my mind was "we can't keep doing this to people." True to form five years later the market showed the first signs of cracking and then plummeted as we all know. After having the mortgage business experience I am a FIRM believer in making sure your primary house payment is no more than 10% of your gross monthly income, 15% max. Ours is 9% and it has saved our bacon year after year with absorbing large financial hits from our rentals and anything unexpected.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Start here for her getting benefits.

Alabama Department of Human Resources - Food Assistance Division


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Thanks, Ele... I stumbled across that this morning and saw too on there the child support enforcement department >

Looks like I will have an opportunity to go after this guy a 2nd time 0


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Check if she realizes she is eligible for the earned income tax credit. EITC - Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC)


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

I am so glad you shared that anonmd. I need to review her tax profile to maximize cash flow.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Usually bar tenders make pretty good money. Does she not get tips?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Did you check out goodwill yet? They can usually help a lot.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Usually bar tenders make pretty good money. Does she not get tips?


She does but its a split with the entire crew kind of place.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Did you check out goodwill yet? They can usually help a lot.


I haven't. I've been researching real estate since that is our main time crunch. Section 8 housing is out. They stopped applications three weeks ago and it won't open again until summer of 2016. All public housing is full with waiting lists.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Blossom Leigh said:


> I haven't. I've been researching real estate since that is our main time crunch. Section 8 housing is out. They stopped applications three weeks ago and it won't open again until summer of 2016. All public housing is full with waiting lists.


Goodwill can help her find a place. They often will put down the deposit.

I know people who they helped get a place to live this way.

ETA: 

Goodwill has nothing to do with section 8 housing. So any rental works with them.

They give preference to people with children.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Goodwill can help her find a place. They often will put down the deposit.
> 
> I know people who they helped get a place to live this way.
> 
> ...


I never knew... I will have to check this out. Thanks!


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Cash to move is a part of the problem as well as freeing up her cash flow (the car.)


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Has she been declaring her tips as income? 

If not, she better be careful. Would hate to be looking for help and having the government find out she owes a bunch of money for unpaid taxes.

I had an employee that worked nights at a casino. He wasn't declaring his tips and when the gov found out, I had to deduct what he owed from his paycheque. He was already complaining about how broke he was.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

As far as I know she declares them, but I will find out


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Y'all this is turning into WAY more than thought at first glance. This mother with a 13 year old is one of my cousins. Well since the time that she called me to help her find a place, her mother, and sisters have all called me with information. We all have a family meeting coming up this Sunday and all of them are going to be shocked when I ask the question.... is her son safe enough to live with her alone. This whole situation is so messed up its not even funny. Pray for my wisdom Sunday and for their hearts to hear it. There is a child to protect here and I plan on giving him a voice Sunday.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Y'all this is turning into WAY more than thought at first glance. This mother with a 13 year old is one of my cousins. Well since the time that she called me to help her find a place, her mother, and sisters have all called me with information. We all have a family meeting coming up this Sunday and all of them are going to be shocked when I ask the question.... is her son safe enough to live with her alone. This whole situation is so messed up its not even funny. Pray for my wisdom Sunday and for their hearts to hear it. There is a child to protect here and I plan on giving him a voice Sunday.


This family is literally breaking the silence on the abuse my cousin is dishing out not only to her son, but also to my Aunt, whom I adore. So, not just one is getting a voice Sunday, but TWO... please pray for my strength and wisdom headed into Sunday. We already knew we had one family intervention coming up for this cousin's older brother, but now we have two drug/alcohol interventions at the same time and two victims of that abuse to protect from the fall out.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How often is the abuse? Is it physical or emotional? 

Does your cousins live with their mother, you aunt?


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> How often is the abuse? Is it physical or emotional?
> 
> Does your cousins live with their mother, you aunt?


Yes, my cousin lives with her mother, my Aunt

And the more witnesses I talk to the worse this picture is getting.

The abuse is verbal, emotional, psychological and physical, not to mention her driving around drunk with her son in the car.

My H and I are intervening Sunday. We are offering her to come stay with us under VERY strict rules and if she chooses to submit to our authority and allows us to help her, then she can move in and we will help her get clean. Otherwise, after what I know I have no choice but to call DHR. I'm making preparations right now to receive her son Sunday, it can either be willingly or I'm calling the law.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Boy I'd be very careful about taking her into your home. Have you ever deal with a person who has a very bad addiction? It can tare your home life apart.


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## ToothFairy (May 19, 2013)

my suggestion- move out of Alabama. It is at the bottom of the list when it comes to education and pay. Literally - only above Mississippi and DC. And number 46 out of 50 for worst income. MOVE!


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Boy I'd be very careful about taking her into your home. Have you ever deal with a person who has a very bad addiction? It can tare your home life apart.


My H has. Any non compliance and she is out.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

ToothFairy said:


> my suggestion- move out of Alabama. It is at the bottom of the list when it comes to education and pay. Literally - only above Mississippi and DC. And number 46 out of 50 for worst income. MOVE!


Lol.. the school system we are in ranks in the top 200 in the nation. Trust me, theres plenty of rich folks here. My H and I are in six figures.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Blossom Leigh said:


> My H has. Any non compliance and she is out.


She and her son? Or just her? You have to think about that scenario.


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