# My husband just snapped



## jersey777 (Oct 8, 2012)

Recently ( this past weekend) my husband just seemed to snap. I will explain. 

We woke up saturday morning normal as can be he left the house to grab some coffee and breakfast everything seemed fine. When he came back home i was in the other room folding the laundry and heard him come in. Next thing i know i started hearing loud banging noises, and him cursing up a storm. I walked into the living room to find him ripping apart the closet trying to get to the tool box. he than started pulling the box apart yelling where are all the F&$#king screw drivers... I asked him whats wrong he than just strated yelling at me to get out of his face. I was so confused, what just happened he than strated throwing tools as hard as he could on the ground, a hammer, a screwdriver ( totally f'ed up the wood floors, besides the point). Than i did yell at him to stop because he was being crazy. he ran in our bedroom strted punching the dresser and when i followed him he screamed at me at the top of his loungs to leave him alone. I was so freaked out and scared. i have never seem him like that.. i than told him that if he was going to act like this he needed to get out of the house. I was worried about my saftey. i have never been scared of my husband before but i was this time. he left the house. came back like ten mins later and told me that he was leaving and not comming back. when i asked if he was serious he said "yeah i am done with this ****, i am just leaving, all you care about is the preicous wood floors" He left Yet he returned about and hour or so later to expain to me that he got pissed because someone had cut him off and givin him the finger when he was out earlier. To me that is def not an excuse for you to just fly off the handle.

to be honest our marrige has been going down hill for a while now ever since he was discarged from the military (three years ago) he seems to never been happy. he makes comments all the time about how *I* want a man with money and someone to provide for me better when i have never once said or hinted at any of these things. he never wants to go out, hates it when i go out with my girls friends always says stuff like *I* just want to be a single girl, which is not true. I don't know what to do any more. i feel like there is no hope like every month that goes by things get worse. i can't afford a marrige councler. or i would def go. and after this last episode i am kinda freaked out. Someone help!!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

You're in the US? You CAN afford a counselor - contact United Family Services in your area. They work on a sliding scale. When I was unemployed and freshly separated and looking for someone to help me and guide me through the divorce, they only charged me $7 a session. When I was employed with insurance it went to $50 for an hour session. If you both want to save the marriage, see if there's an office near you.

That is scary.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Could he be suffereing from PTSD? Did he see action in the service? Is he/was he ever on meds for depression after his service or has he received and counseling from the Veterans Administration?


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## relate (Sep 8, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Could he be suffereing from PTSD? Did he see action in the service? Is he/was he ever on meds for depression after his service or has he received and counseling from the Veterans Administration?


I agree. I never did get counselling for mine, but I do very occasionally get depressed or angry/depressed. I found myself able to cope independently because I'm a bit of an amateur analyst myself, and pretty good at self educating research so my episodes are very infrequent - like maybe a couple of days once / year and nothing major. But his behavior sounds a LOT like mine when I would have tantrums like that over fairly inconsequential things. I would also highly suggest you help him kick heavy drinking and smoking if he's using those to deal.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Could he be suffereing from PTSD? Did he see action in the service? Is he/was he ever on meds for depression after his service or has he received and counseling from the Veterans Administration?


Sounds like PTSD


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Hows the sexlife?


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## jersey777 (Oct 8, 2012)

he did see action but no front line action he was in the air force, so nothing crazy, our sex life is ok, we are not like we used to be but we do still have sex and when we do its good. I am dthinking he is depressed but he wont talk to any one.


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## oneMOreguy (Aug 22, 2012)

this sounds like me during one of my adhd meltdowns......but PTSD could be at work......IC seems to be important here.


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

Was his discharge an honorable one? 

May be showing my naivete' here, don't you still qualify for military benefits after completion of your tour of duty? If so, would IC/MC not be covered?


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## jersey777 (Oct 8, 2012)

not honorable


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

jersey777 said:


> he did see action but no front line action he was in the air force, so nothing crazy, our sex life is ok, we are not like we used to be but we do still have sex and when we do its good. I am dthinking he is depressed but he wont talk to any one.


My advice to you is to never again minimise what the guy went through in the way you did right there. If he does have PTSD you will be absolutely no use, no help for him in fact you will make things a whole lot worse.

By minimising his psychological and emotional trials and tribulations in the way you do, you are saying to him that as far as you are concerned, he doesn’t exist. He will demonstrate to you in no uncertain terms that he does indeed exist.


Rather, as his wife you should be his emotional confident, the one person on the planet he can share all his fears and uncertainties with, the one person he feels the most secure with. He wont do that while you minimise.

It sounds like he’s actually run way from you, taken himself away, probably to a place where he feels secure.


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## jersey777 (Oct 8, 2012)

To AFEH i have never minimized my husbands time spent over seas or his time spent fighting for our civial rights and for you to say that he is just running away from be because he dosen't secure is beyond ridiculous. and just a little fyi its a bit harder to be someones emotional confident when they don't talk to you, or anyone else for that matter. I have been trying to understand his mood swings from the moment they begain. and yes he might have PTSD that i don't know. PTSD takes many forms and i will look into that possiblity.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Uhm. Lets not start spouting off the 'diagnosis' of PTSD. If he was discharged for 'other reasons', it is just as likely there is something else going on. Does he have any other mental health issues?

You should, as has been pointed out - get some professional help - the both of you. Better than playing doctor on the internet.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

jersey777 said:


> To AFEH i have never minimized my husbands time spent over seas or his time spent fighting for our civial rights and for you to say that he is just running away from be because he dosen't secure is beyond ridiculous. and just a little fyi its a bit harder to be someones emotional confident when they don't talk to you, or anyone else for that matter. I have been trying to understand his mood swings from the moment they begain. and yes he might have PTSD that i don't know. PTSD takes many forms and i will look into that possiblity.


Men don’t only run away from things physical. I see I’m not getting through to you and to me you appear to be in denial but wish you luck nevertheless.


Whatever the case your H definitely has an anger management problem. Next time he "snaps" you're far better advised to neither antagonise or confront him in the way you did but leave the house if you really do fear for your safety.


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