# want out of my marriage



## malone (Mar 19, 2009)

Dont know where to start - married 16 years - I left him 12 years ago after my first daughter was born due to his lack of taking care of us. He came and cried, said he would change and i went back and had 2 more kids. 
Basically, i did everything for the next 12 years - he is lazy, unloving, and plays with them - I became so sad - wishing horrible things about him and counting the years before my kids left so I could leave. I fantasized about him doing something horrible thatwould let me leave. He is a good dad to the outside world. He is with the kids on the ball field all the time - the problem is - he ignores me, hasn't looked at me and no intamacy for years. He just told me in counciling that he liked to belittle me to keep me home.
Due to financial stuff, Iwent back to work 9 months ago. I love it. but started to feel overwhelmed by still doing everything at home. He made me feel like I couldn't do anything well.
I probably had what you would call an emotional affair and that led me into therapy. I have told him all about it and I want out before I have a physical affair. I do not love him. He is now crying, he will change, he has found god. I'm numb to it but find myself needing permission to get out. please help - can't sleep or eat. Miss the other man who was my best friend but don't talk to him the last 6 weeks. I cant stay here anymore.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

malone-

See if this thread sheds any light on your situation:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/4561-difference-between-men-women-who-go-off-sex.html


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## div2wice (Sep 18, 2008)

While its good he attended counceling, it does not seem to have done anything. While its not the best idea, I can totally understand why you had the emotional affair...I've been there (being ignored, etc)
Thing is, people will say anything to avoid a divorce. He's already admitted to disrespecting you (belittling you to keep you home) he's likely playing games now just to keep you from divorcing.
If counceling is not an option, I would file for divorce, especially if you are in love with someone else. This link may help answer some divorce questions as well: Free Divorce Booklet


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