# Woman's Perspective



## MikeCamp1 (Apr 13, 2009)

Why do women always think men are lying? I've lied to her, yes, but now she's thinking all of these things for years and they aren't true and now I can't make her believe me. Can somebody help me in getting my wife to trust and believe me again?? Thanks.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i can only tell you what my H says to me. I always think he is lying, too, because he has lied in the past. he apologizes for the pain he caused me in the past because of his lies. He doesnt focus on arguing with me about whether he's telling the truth or not about the thing i dont believe him on, rather he focuses on what he knows spurred by disbelief. Its quite effective.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Hey there....the trust has been broken...even if it was years ago...what have you done to repair it? What can you do to _*prove*_ that you are telling the truth now??? Some things are easy to prove, some things aren't.....so I guess it kinda depends on the issue at hand. And I agree with Blanca...it does help more for you not to argue about what the truth is now, but to focus on how sorry you are for betraying her trust in the first place....even if it was years ago! What is the underlying cause of why she is not believing you now? Are you acting suspicious in her eyes? Has she caught you in _any_ lies recently? Even little white lies???? Just some things to ponder.


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

Hi, 

I do not think all men lie. In my group of friends, one male is always honest, but there are times when he does white lies to leave early at our hangouts because majority of the girls in our group just like to pick on him to hang with us forever when he's just getting really bored or has other things to do. 

But there are some men who just lie and once they lie sometimes it goes on. My father for example, always lied to my mom, to me, and my siblings and his family. He was a huge serial liar that he would use it to steal, to hide secrets, to hide money, to lie on tax forms. really big things. and so when he had little lies, no one believed him and if he ever did tell the truth (no one ever knows when that is) we just could not believe him, because he really was liar. 

My fiance for example, often lied to protect himself. As a kid he got disciplined with the buckle for teasing his brother. So over time he learned to lie all the time until he was just natural. He lies and lies and at first you believe him but then that inner instinct says...dont trust him. and the truth comes out. when he proves your feelings to be true, then the trust just does not build, rather it weakens. 

So even when my fiance tells the truth, I decided to just listen all the time and think with my heart and mind to connect the dots or wait for anything to reveal itself first so that I always know or find out whether he is lying or telling the truth.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I do not think all men are lying. I think liars are lying. It's that simple. If you have broken trust, it is really, really hard to rebuild. Your very question smacks of unwillingness to admit your part in this, frankly. Had you said, "How can I rebuild my wife's faith in me," you'd get different answers. But the whole, "I've lied, yes, in the past. . . " screams out that you do not understand why this is such a big deal. It is. Get over it and quit blaming "women" for thinking "all men lie." Your wife thinks you lie--that's the issue. 

If you want to rebuild her trust, you need to be "above reproach." That means being totally transparent, 100% of the time, in all you do so she knows you have nothing to hide, ever. If you cannot do this, then something is wrong. You cannot play the "she ought to trust me" game, or "Don't I have a right to some privacy" card, b/c apparently you lost trust. This isn't a court of law, it's a relationship btw two people. You are not "innocent until proven guilty."

I hope it works out.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

We don't think All men are lying,,, we think the men that have lied to us repeatedly, are always lying...

If you set a precident for lies in a relationship, whether you're male or female... you're going to expect to be lied to over and over again...

I have been with men that set that precident with me , right from the beginning,,,, and yes. I thought they were always lying, and yes, I was right. 

No, not all men lie, and not all men lie all the time. but if that trust was broken, it's just human nature not to trust after that. This is a human thing,,,, not a male or female thing.


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

It depends what you have told lies about in the past ! its ovious your lies have hurt her or it wouldnt be a problem .
T he only way you can rebuild the trust is to become totally transparent about what you do where you have been all your log in passwords ..if you can do that im sure in time she will learn to trust you again .


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