# Splitting the bills



## Step Parent (Jun 5, 2014)

Hi,

I am living with my partner who has a son from a previous marriage. She receives child maintenance payments and child benefit payments both into her account (we bank separately)

My issue/question is that my partner expects us to split all the household bills 50/50 - that is the mortgage, utilities, food etc but I feel that some of the money she receives in maintenance and child benefit should be used to pay towards the combined costs of running our home before the bills are split between us. As it stands she receives £300 in maintenance and child benefit towards her half of the household costs and I don't receive anything - yet we split the costs between us. I earn less than her and am struggling to have any money left over each month.

Am I being unreasonable ?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

What is she putting the money toward if not for living/food expenses? That's what child maintenance is for too...it's not just for buying things for the child like clothes and shoes.It's for putting toward food,shelter,and medical as well.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

You're not being unreasonable. I make more money than my wife therefore I assume a larger portion of our bills. To me that's common sense and the way it should be. 

And yes money for a child is meant to cover the living costs. Shelter, water, power, food, clothes, medical, childcare, etc. But not always 100% of it. A working parent receiving child support is also responsible for some of the expense. Maybe you're wife thinks the support is all used up on other things. Then she's got to do her part too.


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## Step Parent (Jun 5, 2014)

She says she uses the money to pay for her half of the bills because it is her money


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Step Parent said:


> She says she uses the money to pay for her half of the bills because it is her money


right but what does she do with her leftover money? She has to realize it can't be 50/50 when one person makes more and is also getting child support checks. If she can't understand that...maybe you need to move to a place you can afford without being strapped.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

How old is this son of hers?

There are three people there, so the utilities should not be divided by two. Especially if this son is a teenager who would eat a bunch.

Kind of depends on how much the son uses but you should be able to come up with an equitable amount. Something like 65% for her and her son and 35% for you.


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

If you left, she'd still have to pay for the both of them, not half of the total you are being held responsible for. 

Did you discuss this ( 50-50 split) prior to moving in?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If nothing else, she should be covering 2/3 of the grocery bill and THEN you two split the rest of the costs.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

turnera said:


> If nothing else, she should be covering 2/3 of the grocery bill and THEN you two split the rest of the costs.


My power bill dropped drastically when our last kid moved out. Less clothes being washed, less dish washer runs, less hot water usage for showers, less lights left on, one less computer spinning 24/7 and other electronics, etc. Then obviously groceries like you mentioned. But it's more than food cost. There's tissue, paper towels, bathroom supplies, etc all of which are for three rather than two.

All of these little things add up.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Oh, I know, but to get her to start seeing things his way, he may have to start slow.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Agree with her. Tell her the easiest way to do this is to set a joint account that you both deposit your 50% of the bill totals to. After the Child Support is deposited and deducted from the bill tally.

It's Child Support. Not a paycheck.


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## Tmj4477 (May 3, 2014)

I don't understand the problem of 50/50 do you make that much less than her? did you not know she had a kid before you moved in? Are their other issues you are not mentioning?


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Step Parent said:


> She says she uses the money to pay for her half of the bills because it is her money


So her approach is that money is hers and not to offset the financial burden the child places on the household? Then tell her you are struggling, she makes more, and she brought two people into this relationship so she should help more.

This "that's my money, but we're one family" crap needs to stop.


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## Deep Down (Jun 21, 2014)

Yes, in my step-family, my daughter lives with us and I earn more. No child support, as my daughter is 21. I pay 2/3 of the mortgage and I buy the food. We go halves on the bills.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I dunno. You are living with her. Not a spouse.

That money is for her kid. She could save it for all it's worth.

I have a child before my husband and our child. No child support though. We still split the bills 50/50. My daughter is now his daughter...but marriage did that.

You are with a woman with a kid. That kid is now yours, in a sense. The child support should be spent on the child or just put into the household funds. but 50/50 is still fair, imo.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I mean, to split hairs like this about being a family is not a stress I'd want.

Either you're in it or you're not.

Cause when you start talking percentages and all of that, now you're just roommates. Are you her long term partner helping raise her son or are you just in it for her?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Step Parent,

What percentage of your joint income do you earn? Include her child support in her income figure.


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