# when is it ok to be done



## ConfusedinVa2020 (Aug 14, 2020)

I'm just so tired. Husband has ptsd and I just can't do this anymore. We have small children and they are acting out because we constantly are in turmoil and fighting. I've tried to tell him his parenting style isn't working because he's acting like a drill Sargent....he refuses to change and I'm just so tired of the drama. I want to be married to someone who loves me and wants to have a life with me. I'm starting to feel like something is wrong with me.... I'm unlovable or something..... it hurts. He constantly leaves and goes camping or hiking. Today he took off to go "North", promised the kids he'd call tonight to say goodnight and tell them where he is..... no call. It's heartbreaking.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

ConfusedinVa2020 said:


> I'm just so tired. Husband has ptsd and I just can't do this anymore. We have small children and they are acting out because we constantly are in turmoil and fighting. I've tried to tell him his parenting style isn't working because he's acting like a drill Sargent....he refuses to change and I'm just so tired of the drama. I want to be married to someone who loves me and wants to have a life with me. I'm starting to feel like something is wrong with me.... I'm unlovable or something..... it hurts. He constantly leaves and goes camping or hiking. Today he took off to go "North", promised the kids he'd call tonight to say goodnight and tell them where he is..... no call. It's heartbreaking.


I am sorry that this is happening. You do sound tired and disappointed. 

How old are kids?

Is he getting any help with his PTSD?

Do you ever get to have time for yourself, when he takes care of the kids? You say he leaves a lot, how about you?

You are on your way to check out of this marriage, and it sounds like you have real reasons for it. fo
And yes, kids pick up the communication style of the parents. You argue about every small thing, they will do it too. I can see in my kids, unfortunately, now 12 and 15. They are getting better but still sometimes they argue just for the sake of arguing. It breaks my heart, because they got it from us. (we are divorcing now)


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