# One month and she's done



## Jenmarroquin (May 28, 2015)

My wife and I got married April 25, 2015 ... Last night she turns to me and says I don't know if I want to be here anymore. She wants to be alone and figure out herself. She wants to go stay at her aunts house for a week ... I'm heart broken and have no idea what to do
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jenmarroquin said:


> My wife and I got married April 25, 2015 ... Last night she turns to me and says I don't know if I want to be here anymore. She wants to be alone and figure out herself. She wants to go stay at her aunts house for a week ... I'm heart broken and have no idea what to do


How long did the two of you date before you married?

How old are the two of you? 

You two have been married one month. Has something changed recently?

All you can do it to ask her not to do this and to work on the marriage with you, perhaps get into counseling. Ask, don't beg, cry, etc.

If she says no and leaves you have to accept her choice. 

Start working on yourself. So put your focus there for now.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Sounds like she is judging you to not be whom she thought you were. Who fooled whom?


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

EleGirl is right it would be helpful to have more information to avoid speculation as much as possible.

Having said that...
Did she have some realizations about relationships because she realized how different the two of you really are? (typical for many relationships btw)


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Wish her the best, and acknowledge her feelings.

Smile an show her you too can confidently let her go an move on with out her.

Chicks dig confident guys.. no matter how bad it hurts... you have to leave her second guessing her choice versus showing her you will always be there for her as her plan B.

Don't try to control something you have no control over...but let go and let her think twice in what she *will* lose if she continues with her choices!.

Begging and crying will only validate her thinking in that you aren't going any were no matter how she treats you.

Again...chicks dig confident guys!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I also suggest you quietly do your own research and find out if you are competing with some other guy.

Don't ask her her, but find out for you self what you are truly up against.

You can be the best guy in the world...but you can't compete with new love.....if I am wrong then at least your efforts of being a good man won't be wasted on a chick that already replaced you.

So please make sure you are not competing with some other guy and your chick will appreciate your efforts and not laugh at you when she is laying next to her new lover.

BTW..if she is screwing around she will not tell you the truth...so please don't ask her but quietly look at her phone, is she going out, is she dressing sexier...basicly look for the red flags that will help you make a choice that will change your life forever.


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## Jenmarroquin (May 28, 2015)

I am 34 and she is 23 we have been together for 3 years before we got married. 
Nothing has changed that I can tell.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

the guy said:


> Wish her the best, and acknowledge her feelings.
> 
> Smile an show her you too can confidently let her go an move on with out her.
> 
> ...


This! After only one month she wants this? Kick her to the curb. Divorce her. Be thankful you dont have to deal with her for 20 years or more. YOur getting out lucky.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

That's a big age difference at your ages, you're at much different points in life. You were 31 dating a 20 year old barely out of high school..... what could you have possibly had in common besides sex? 

You're ready to settle down and she's not, you probably had your 20's fun and then found someone who hadn't. I hate to say this but you might be better off cutting your losses and finding someone at the same point in life you are.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

toonaive said:


> the guy said:
> 
> 
> > Wish her the best, and acknowledge her feelings.
> ...


* I really don't think that a divorce is even necessary as most states have now extended the legal timeline on the procurance of an "annulment." This is by far cheaper than being subjected to go through the often costly divorce process!

Get to an attorney ASAP to explore these options!*


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## Morcoll (Apr 22, 2015)

I am feeling like the OP came here for options or strategies to save the marriage. 

I agree with guy. Start focusing on yourself and get back to the things you loved when you met her 3 years ago. Make sure you are not smothering her and make YOURSELF the best version of you that you can. 

Not for her, for you. If she does leave for good, you will be better equipped to deal with it and move on with YOUR life.

First and easiest thing-- if you do not exercise, start immediately. Most people think this is to physically attract her again. For me, it was the endorphins released during heavy exercise-- amazing stress reliever; getting stronger physically also makes you feel so much more confident in every day life.


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## Jenmarroquin (May 28, 2015)

Actually we didn't have sex for quite some time after we started dating... I knew we weren't at the same place and had a lot of reservations about dating her in the first place ... 
We have more in common then you would think ... 
I didn't have a wild 20's because that's not me.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jenmarroquin said:


> Actually we didn't have sex for quite some time after we started dating... I knew we weren't at the same place and had a lot of reservations about dating her in the first place ...
> 
> We have more in common then you would think ...
> 
> I didn't have a wild 20's because that's not me.


Whose idea was it to not have sex during a lot of the time you were together before you married?

How has the sex life been since you married?

I know that you want to save your marriage. The best way to do it is what people have told you to do. Work on yourself. Become a better you. That might mean going back to doing some of the things that you did before you started dating her. Why? Because that's who she was attracted to.. that guy you were when you first started to date. And work to grow into a even more attractive man.. work out, get busy with interesting things.

What do you do in your spare time? What hobbies do you have? What things do you with friends?

Has she been complaining about anything? If so what?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Jenmarroquin said:


> Actually we didn't have sex for quite some time after we started dating... I knew we weren't at the same place and had a lot of reservations about dating her in the first place ...
> We have more in common then you would think ...
> *I didn't have a wild 20's* because that's not me.


But maybe she's now decided SHE wants to?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

that's brutal, dude, so sorry.

one month and done. I've heard of it happening before, but certainly not often.

What the heck does she say specifically rather than just 'being alone' to find herself (WTF?).

What was she like during the three years that you were 'together'?
Was she flakey? moody?, non-committal?

I was once with such a gf. She loved me/loved me not. She wanted to be with me, but not.
I would let her go, but then she would want me back. She would_________, and then_________.
You get the idea. I would at various times let her go, but she would eventually pull me back.
The problem was, I had the best times of my life with her, that's why it was so hard to completely let her go.
Best times of my life, but man did she drive me nuts.

good luck dude. I agree with the arbitrator, unfortunately annulment is the way to go.
otherwise she'll drive you nuts forever.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

You might not have had a wild 20's but you also weren't married at 23. That's very young to be married and most aren't ready. ... that's why so many many married people under 25 get divorced. 

I didn't have a wild 20's either but I was nowhere near ready to be married at that age. You're 34 and ready to settle. She's 23 and isn't. 

I think even if she comes back there's a good chance she'll flip out again down the road because the immaturity issue will still be there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Morcoll said:


> I am feeling like the OP came here for options or strategies to save the marriage...


Repairing a marriage that is one month old is a bad idea - how many months of reconstruction need to take place? And then in another month when his W wants to walk away again, does he just keep repairing?

OP, let her walk! Seek an annulment and thank her for the three years of dating. Return the wedding gifts and ask for the ring back so you can recoup some of the expense. DO NOT IMPREGNATE her, just don't have sex with her at all!!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Were you living together before you married?

Did you have a big wedding?


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## Jenmarroquin (May 28, 2015)

We had a very small wedding and we had been living together for quite sometime


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

SOMEthing had to change. Either in your relationship or in her goals. Your job is to figure out what.


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## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

Who cares. Thank your lucky stars that this happened now rather than later. There will be almost no financial ramifications and you can move on without the complication of children with her. Part on the best terms as possible and don't look back!


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