# Feeling betrayed by husband



## Blondielv (Mar 25, 2015)

My husband and I have been together for 14 years. It is a second marriage for both of us. Our relationship was started through an affair beginning with a two year friendship and then turning to emailing when we both became unhappy in our relationships and it escalated from there. We live in a small town so things had to be pretty sneaky. We have always had a close relationship until about a year and a half ago. We were always very open with each other. I started having issues with the Chemical balances in my body, peri menopause, as well as depression and anxiety issues. My husband owns his own business and at this same time he was hiring his first female employee. Between what was going on with me and this I had a very hard time knowing he had to be spending so much time with her training her. Id like to think I was never really much of a jealous person but suddenly I became that way. I had days I would lay in bed and cry all day. Until recently I didn't realize how hurt and angry it made my husband for not trusting him. He says my attitude pushed him away. I have had trouble accepting this woman all along. A few days ago I received a call from her saying she had enough. That she knew I had problems with her. I guess my problem was more jealousy of my husband though. In the meantime I have discovered he has been texting and emailing her behind my back for advice and consolation to feel better instead of talking to me anymore. I am very hurt by his and he doesn't understand. He says they are just friends that give each other advice and she says the same thing. I have complete trust my husband is not interested in her or her in him, but I feel that if he needed a friend he could have gone to a male friend. I am very hurt that he is sharing our relationship with another woman. And one he's only known for a year that is the same age as our daughter. Am I wrong to feel this way? I love him with all my heart but I'm having a hard time getting past this one. Especially when he is her boss and she just an employee. I find it inappropriate as well. How would others of you feel if this were your spouses?


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

Well....in your past when you were both unhappy and turned to each other for support, how did that work out for your spouses back then?

Chances are history may repeat itself.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)




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## AlisonBlaire (Feb 5, 2015)

That seems very weird that she called you and told you that she had enough of you. If she called you on your cell phone, I would wonder WHY she had access to your number in the first place.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I agree with Noble, in a sense you are seeing that your husband once upon a time reached out to you as a friend and you realize how that worked out, the premise of which does not make for a great foundation of this marriage. So now you see from a different perspective that his pattern is starting all over again, this time with out you, and this is obviously bothering you because you knew how it ended the first time...perhaps in your favor then but not now. you need to work on yourself first and foremost and then your marriage.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

When I read your post, I knew you will be shot down by the guys here. 

Yes, don't need much brains to know he's for sure having an EA. Probably physical affair for the OW to have the guts to call u up n tell u off in your face that little speech of hers. 

Doesn't seem like your H is even standing on your side by insisting all is just friendship. C'mon what friendship can a man have with a new young girl. I can't imagine having friendship with a new young boy, can u? 

So don't be in denial. If you get no more advice here, it's probably best u read similar posts n pick out relevant tips.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

They cheat with you, they cheat on you.


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## Blondielv (Mar 25, 2015)

I understand how you are all seeing this and I want to add that when we met his marriage was already over, they were just living in the same house and hated each other and everyone knew it. I was not happy in my marriage but was trying to work it out. I was not looking for anyone else. My current husband and I spent two years as the head of an organization and we were just friends and spent a lot of time together and things just got comfortable and we got very close. We didn't jump into anything quickly and didn't even marry for two more years. His ex didn't even really care. Mine was bitter for a while but understood why. We still very much love each other and want to be together. I have no doubts there. None of your responses even make me doubt. I guess the only question I should have posed was whether anyone felt it appropriate that he chose a female employee to share our personal relationship with. May I add that her husband knows and is ok with it. I just want to to Know others opinions on who you confide in? Someone of the same sex or not?


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

Your 2nd reply is so typical cheater's behavior. Wonderful justifications you got there


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Blondielv said:


> My current husband and I spent two years as the head of an organization
> 
> Mine was bitter for a while
> 
> ...


If u r head of organisation, u should be able to answer those questions yourself !!!!!!! 

Your organisation will close down soon. 

Your ex is bitter for NOT a while. 

Not appropriate to confide in opposite sex. 

Her husband can't be ok with it!!!! Unless he doesn't mind his wife getting a promotion by sleeping with the boss. Or he's also cheating anyway. 

U confide in own sex friends. Or counsellors or therapists. 

Close down your organisation. Or let me run it.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

OP-

Unfortunately it sounds like history repeating itself. When his marriage was essentially over (yet they were living together and hated each other) who did he confide in then.....my guess is you...

...Now here he is having marriage issues with you and he is confiding in her....


OUCH!!


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## Bam85 (Feb 13, 2015)

Blondielv said:


> I understand how you are all seeing this and I want to add that when we met his marriage was already over, they were just living in the same house and hated each other and everyone knew it. I was not happy in my marriage but was trying to work it out. I was not looking for anyone else. My current husband and I spent two years as the head of an organization and we were just friends and spent a lot of time together and things just got comfortable and we got very close. We didn't jump into anything quickly and didn't even marry for two more years. His ex didn't even really care. Mine was bitter for a while but understood why. We still very much love each other and want to be together. I have no doubts there. None of your responses even make me doubt. I guess the only question I should have posed was whether anyone felt it appropriate that he chose a female employee to share our personal relationship with. May I add that her husband knows and is ok with it. I just want to to Know others opinions on who you confide in? Someone of the same sex or not?


You know, it's pretty common for guys who are involved in affairs to talk about how he and his wife hate each other. That's why in many cases, a man can say that and then still go back to his wife, leaving his mistress in the dust. I don't think telling his new coworker about how great you are and how much he loves you would exactly work on getting her to drop her panties. Hating your spouse is the typical story that's told. Now, he's probably telling new girl the same story about how you two can't stand each other. And new dummy is also falling for it which is why she called you. It's not rocket science...I mean...you know what's going on, I hope.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

I'm confused.... She called you out of the blue to tell you that she knew you had problems with her.

She called her boss' wife, to tell her that she knew you didn't trust her. She called her boss' wife? For real? 

Also, she is he same age as your daughter ("our daughter")? You've only been together 14 years.

Also, she called the boss's wife?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Some men and women do confide in opposite sex "friends". Sometimes that's all that happens (complaints about the spouse). But when that door opens sometimes that's not all that happens. The problem is you don't know for certain which situation you have. Did he just complain about you or did it go beyond that. What does your gut say?


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> I'm confused.... She called you out of the blue to tell you that she knew you had problems with her.
> 
> She called her boss' wife, to tell her that she knew you didn't trust her. She called her boss' wife? For real?
> 
> ...


The fact that she called the " boss wife " n tell you that shows her confidence in her power over your H. Blatant.


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## Angelou (Oct 21, 2014)

A boss and employee aren't really supposed to talk about their issues. If they do, it gets ..weird. And the interaction doesn't last long after that.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> Also, she called the boss's wife?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You know what? I think she called the boss's wife.


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