# Have i made a mistake?



## Chris22 (Jul 16, 2012)

Hey guys 

So I filed for divorce nearly 2 weeks ago.. Prior to this she kissed another man and walked out to be on her own, started an EA, told me it was over. I slept with another woman, we got back together for a week, had a big argument, then I filed.

Anyone who wants to know more, just read my thread "wife going for a weekend away without me" in CWI. 

Ever since she was served the papers, she was upset and emotional. She hinted that she didn't want things to end, told me she still loved me, told me that she thinks we could have worked on things, told me if its what I wanted then we would divorce. She said she didn't understand why I chose to divorce so quickly.

This had been going on for a week, it played on my mind more and more until last night I went round and told her that I still loved her and maybe there was a chance to save the marriage.. To which she replied that she thinks too much has been done, and that I made a decision and there was no going back and she just wants to be friends. She said we need a fresh start? Says she thinks we are 2 different people to who we were when we married. When I asked her if she loved me, she said "I don't want to talk about it" this was painful. 

These are things I told myself when I filed for divorce, I knew I still loved her, but that I needed to move on for the good of everyone. I told my ex the same when she received the divorce petition.

So why now does it feel like she is the one leaving me? Again! 

Most hurtful perhaps is that she said that she felt the marriage was over before she kissed another man anyway... What? Really? Yeah we were arguing, but it wasn't that bad.

I can't help but feel like I want her back, I know I still love her! I don't know what to do.

It took a lot of serious thinking and courage to go round and confront her. To tell her that things could get better and that I was no longer sure if I was doing the right thing. And now I feel like all the things she said were just lies so she could hurt me. I feel like she has just ripped my heart out again. 

Have I made a bad decision? Have I overreacted? Was I the one who ruined this marriage? I don't expect answers from you guys, these are just questions I'm now asking myself. 

What the hell is wrong with me?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

She just grabbed the power from you, AGAIN! You stood up to her BS and filed for D. Well she was planning on cake eating a little while longer. But she got the upper hand when she made you doubt your decisions and makes you feel like YOU'RE the one being left. Stand up for yourself and do the 180!


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## The bishop (Aug 19, 2012)

She played you and you fell for it.


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## The bishop (Aug 19, 2012)

She wants to control you and if she doesn't want to D, she wants the R to be done under her rules.... Like, her being able to go on trips and you stay home, her contacting the OM and you living with it. She wants to cake eat if you all stay together... Her terms. Are you ok with that?


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## Chris22 (Jul 16, 2012)

No I'm not at all. But I know that realistically that's what she's doing, in some ways its how its always been. I haven't contacted her at all for around a week, we will just see what happens... In honesty I have already given up hope of R. I'm just wondering if it was my fault that this all happened. Besides, I have now made choices and done things which would cause her to have problems with R anyway. It would always be false. In the last week I have been a **** to say the least. Sleeping around. For better or worse I've done it now. It seems to temporarily relieve the pain. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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