# Possible cheater signs?



## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

So, I've made a few posts here, and I'm sure you guys are tired of seeing me in this section. But yesterday, she said she thinks we should get a divorce, and I think there may be another person involved.

Some cheater signs she has been displaying.

-Distant
-Mean
-Cusses at me a lot
-Gets mad when I ask what shes doing / where shes at
-Has her marriage setting on facebook set to where ONLY I can see. IE, to anyone else, there is nothing there.
-Says she thinks we should get a divorce
-Frequent hanging out with this girl from her new serving job
-Saw her actively on skype at 3 AM, asked her what she was doing, she got mad, said it was just 'logged on'. Though she answered immediately. She hasn't been on skype since. I checked her emails (she does not know I have access to her emails, and that following day, she made an account on ooVoo (Just like skype) and there is 1 person, a guy. I asked her about the guy, (though I didn't reveal my sources, or knowledge of email / oovoo) because she also recently added him on facebook, and she said he was an old family friend.
-She has added 5-6 new guys on facebook, yet hasn't added this girl 'katie' that she frequently hangs out with. 
-Hangs out with 'katie' atleast 4-5 times a week.
-I am deployed. There isn't much I can do, though I return in a couple days.
-Ignores me. Gets mad at me, over literally anything. 
-Went to the club last weekend in Atlanta (We are in Columbus, GA)
-Promised not to speak to this guy, multiple times within our 3 year relationship. Broken that promise again, as of recent, once I found out she had a new social media site, and he was on it. She says she deleted that new social media site.


These are just some things that came to mind. 
These look a lot like common signs of infidelity. (Hiding things, not caring about promises. Adding lots of guys. Easily angered / ignores.)


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Red Flag City. Sorry to hear that. What do you plan on doing about it exactly?


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Know what I just read your other thread. There were red flags before the marriage. You need to just divorce her. 

She doesn't sound like she was ready for marriage to begin with and you haven't really given any reasons (that I'm aware of) of why you want to stay with her or why she's worth it anyway. 

Based on your posts she sounds self-centered, immature, and apparently has little to no respect for you on top of that.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Definitely cheating, out hooking up. Just with those things you list and taking 'katie' and the men out of the equation, she is not interested in you or the marriage. She wants out. Coupled with the going out red flags, absolutely cheating. Sorry.


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

See that's the thing. I say the same thing. Everything she does points toward cheating, and for every single thing she has some 'logical excuse', and maintains her innocence, while calling me crazy and controlling and non trust worthy. The thing that really did it for me, was finding the new video chat account made that day, with 1 friend, the guy.


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

Gaslighting.

Look up the term.

She is a piece of crap that does not deserve you.


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

Yeah...she is definitely gaslighting me.

Unless she is truly innocent, and I am just crazy.

I don't know. All signs point towards infidelity.
She swears up and down that I am crazy though.
But, my GUT tells me I am right, along with 100% of TAM.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Your gut feeling is the correct one.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

She's cheating.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

manonfire said:


> Yeah...she is definitely gaslighting me.
> 
> Unless she is truly innocent, and I am just crazy.
> 
> ...


Until you have the evidence that says without a doubt they are 
Cheating they will lie lie deny !! Listen to your gut
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

You deserve a woman who loves and honors you. Don't die a death by a thousand cuts. No kids, end it quick and leave her in the rear view mirror. Lots of good women would be thrilled to call you her man.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing!


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Sorry you are here. Yep I would put big money on her having an A. If you want hard proof, VAR in her car, keylogger on the home computer. I would bet not more then two days and you would know everything.

Then you have to decide what do I do?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

manonfire said:


> See that's the thing. I say the same thing. Everything she does points toward cheating, and for every single thing she has some 'logical excuse', and maintains her innocence, while calling me crazy and controlling and non trust worthy. The thing that really did it for me, was finding the new video chat account made that day, with 1 friend, the guy.


It is crazy town isn't it? First off, trust your gut. Secondly, you describe some boundaries she is crossing especially the last one with the video chat account. You don't need proof of an affair just knowledge that she is violating your limits.


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## johonmirae (Jan 27, 2013)

There were red flags before the marriage. You need to just divorce her.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Typical "*disconnect with spouse~ reconnect with OM strategy*." Greatly like myself, these are some of the very same signs that my STBXW displayed, although she displayed very few of them as she clandestinely chose to take her cheating undercover, all while I was still in an ignorant state of bliss as she was fastidiously playing me like "a harp from hell!"

All of those signs were more than red flags to you! Move on, Sir~ there's something more worthwhile awaiting you in this world rather than mulling over the possiblity of R while attempting to make things right with a cheater and a liar!

Sorry to see you here at TAM, but you've definitely come to the right place! It's a site where an experienced and loving group of patrons will lend you a shoulder in your time of trouble, but conversely will kick your backside when it needs it as well!


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

next time, tell her you will be a few days late to come home and go PI on her ass..


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Full fledged PA?


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

manonfire said:


> So, I've made a few posts here, and I'm sure you guys are tired of seeing me in this section. But yesterday, she said she thinks we should get a divorce, and I think there may be another person involved.
> 
> Some cheater signs she has been displaying.
> 
> ...


Being a waitress is deadly. There's something very illicit, very immature, very dirty, very dangerous about that ****ing industry. I hate it and the people it attracts. 

It's poison, and the most fertile ground for whoring around you can imagine.

She's cheating, btw.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

manonfire said:


> So, I've made a few posts here, and I'm sure you guys are tired of seeing me in this section.


[Sigh]

If anyone is tired of seeing you here it's because you CHOOSE not to listen to us.

Even a blind man can see that your wife is cheating on you.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Don't you have a good friend where you live who can follow her 1 or 2 days so you have the proof you need?


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> [Sigh]
> 
> If anyone is tired of seeing you here it's because you CHOOSE not to listen to us.
> 
> Even a blind man can see that your wife is cheating on you.


:iagree: 

oh yes one more thing: :iagree:


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

The-Deceived said:


> Being a waitress is deadly. There's something very illicit, very immature, very dirty, very dangerous about that ****ing industry. I hate it and the people it attracts.
> 
> It's poison, and the most fertile ground for whoring around you can imagine.
> 
> She's cheating, btw.


Sigh, I told her the same thing. I've worked at many restaurants before joining the military, and know tons of people who do. Nothing ever good happens. I've watched amazing women regress into such a state of immaturity, and seen many, many people cheat within that industry. I TRIED to stop her, but she wouldn't have it. Said I'm controlling, and should trust her. She does not know that I will be coming home soon. I am considering the VAR / Keylogger idea. How do I go about that?


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

She is cheating !!


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

barbados said:


> She is cheating !!


Barbados, stop it already! We don't really know (wink wink) that his wife is cheating on him.

Experience is a great teacher - but also an expensive one. We all must learn from our own mistakes. Although, truly wise individuals learn from the mistakes of others.

Alas, such is not the case in this instance.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

manonfire said:


> Sigh, I told her the same thing. I've worked at many restaurants before joining the military, and know tons of people who do. Nothing ever good happens. I've watched amazing women regress into such a state of immaturity, and seen many, many people cheat within that industry. I TRIED to stop her, but she wouldn't have it. Said I'm controlling, and should trust her. She does not know that I will be coming home soon. I am considering the VAR / Keylogger idea. How do I go about that?


Like it was said tell her you are returning on the 20th but really come home on the 17th do it!


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Man, when are you going to grow the hell up ???

You blamed taking her virginity as and excuse for not opening you eyes, but it sure don't mean as much to her.

You DON'T need VAR's or key loggers. YOU know she is cheating, so man the heck up and admit it.
Red flags my A.
There just seem to be women are producing more T and men more E.

God, I want to shake the sh!t out of you man.
You are my lil brother, and putting your life on the line for us. Damn, we feel you man. We really do.
But the way you have put up with this situation makes me think you have a few co/depend. issues, or it's just you not giving up that pic that keeps you going over there.
If that's it, then do what's necessary to get you thru, just come home safe and as whole as possible.


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