# Tmws serving day



## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

So tmw I go to finish filing for divorce and have my stbxh served. I'm having mixed feelings tonight. Did I want this? no But I found it in this life that its not always what you want...sometimes you just have to deal with what you're given....find the good out of it and go on. You can't live in the what if's or the whys or that I wishes....its no good. 
I've made some bold moves since my husband abandoned our family. In the seven months he's been gone, I've finished two externs at school, graduated college at 44 years old, sold every thing I owned and moved my sons and I 11 hours from what we knew. I started a new job doing what I spent two years in school learning, I found my sons and I a new place to live, furnished it entirely how WE wanted it. I've become financially and mentally independent from my husband. 
And now I'm finishing what I started. I've given my husband every chance to come back to us...let him know the door was open and he never walked through, so now I'm closing it. Do I still have days where I wish he would of come back...yes....do I walk out of work at night and have the quickest of moments thinking he might just show up...be there...yep...far too often. Am I going to let that stop me from moving forward...no way. 

Wish me luck tmw that I keep my strength.
Hugs


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Good luck. It is inspiring to read your post. I am close to filing, too -- just getting the last of the settlement written up. 

I am trying to learn Radical Acceptance, which sounds a lot like what you have. Accepting what you've been handed, knowing you don't like it, and you can't change it, but learning how to deal with it in the best possible way. It's really hard!! But you sound very strong. Good for you on all you've accomplished in such a short time!


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

I second Angelpixie's admiration for what you have accomplished (wow!) and her good wishes for tomorrow.


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## Sunshine33 (Aug 4, 2012)

Good for you Melissa, you should be very proud of yourself! And you are such a great role model for your boys. I don't know how old they are, but I can only imagine that someday when they are old enough if they aren't already, they will look at you with such admiration and respect for your strength and ability to persevere. Your STBXH sounds like a very foolish man. wishing you are able to see your own strength tomorrow!


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

Today was good...got off work and went to pay for the filing fees. One moment of sadness and I turned it off quickly...no more tears for someone that doesn't even acknowledge I'm still alive.
I have to call tmw and find out how to serve him since we are in different states now...then I'll hold my breath for the next 20 days and hope he continues to ignore us.

Oh a brighter note I took my boys school shopping after and that cheered me up. My littlest one is starting kindergarten this year....he's so excited and it was so fun picking out all his first school things.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

I hope I can do that when it's my turn! Good for you. And I remember when my DS was going to kindergarten. They are so cute then!


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> I hope I can do that when it's my turn! Good for you. And I remember when my DS was going to kindergarten. They are so cute then!


You can do it angel! YOU are an amazing person and deserve far more than you've gotten in your marriage. When the time comes hold your head up high and know that he is the one losing out. No matter what he spouts out to you and to everyone else at some point each night he has to be alone with himself and know that he lied and cheated and hurt someone who wanted to do nothing but love him. Can't feel too good....

Hugs! You're stronger than you believe....we all are!


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Glad you had a good day, Melissa. The only way from here on is up!

It broke my heart when each one of mine started Kindergarten. I hated to see them growing away from me. Not that I was overprotective or anything. Its just that starting school is such a huge milestone.


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