# We don't miss....



## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

"Can we do a thread what I don't miss about my stbx? this ones making me sad ..."


So true...


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i dont miss always wondering who the next man will be with my exw


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I am sure my list could get longer but first ... 
I don't miss wondering what he's doing on the computer all the time... closing, locking it whenever I walked near the room. Tapping away at the computer... deceptive behavior.

His recent passive aggressive behavior (w/i the last 2 yrs).


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I have never been divorced, but I had this one bf who thought it was sexy to stand in front of me, naked, and shake his.....talent...all while saying "Nenga nenga nenga".

I don't miss that repulsiveness. :rofl:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I don't miss the random fits of violence - the screaming, crying and intensity of his emotional tantrums. I don't miss the way he'd bash my head into the wall, or punch me in the back, or throw me to the floor. My ex was a good person before he got on drugs. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

he would never close the bathroom door when he pooped,and it would stink up the whole house.


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

that is horrible, yin.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

I don't miss how she never went out of her way for me after the first couple years. How I did so many things to make her life wonderful and she did the bare minimum. 

I don't miss how she was never spontaneous. I don't miss how she didn't appreciate all the things I did for her.

I don't miss how she never really listened to the details of my work life.

I don't miss how she never wanted to work but yet wanted to spend money like it was nothing. 

I suppose I don't miss how she never really loved me. God, I didn't realize it till I typed it there.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

sd212 said:


> I don't miss how she was never spontaneous.



Hey SD I have a selfish question:
I have seen a lot of men talk about wanting women to be spontaneous, what exactly do you all mean? 

I am just wondering what this might mean because I have kids and a time demanding career ... would this be a problem for men who want spontaneity? 
Just trying to prepare/better myself.


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Ok, bitter side coming out (knowing full well I have my faults too...)

1. How he could be big man on campus at work, but be totally incompetent at home (only folded socks and underwear and god forbid I ask him to work the washer or dryer! He wouldn't know how to work the knobs and buttons)

2. Asking if he had any of his favorite underwear or undershirts clean. Yeah, in the pile of folded clothes in the corner which I now refuse to put away for you...

3. Not appreciating the fact that I, too, had a full time job and took on ALL the household responsibilities, yet still encouraged him to go out golfing on the weekends because I knew he needed time to blow off steam. 

4. Claiming that I made him feel guilty (put him through guilt trips??) by doing laundry and household chores while he sat on the couch drinking his beers watching the football/baseball games on weekends. I was not guilt tripping him, I was just doing the laundry/chores! The guilt was on him!! I just needed to get s*** done! (How could he accuse me of guilt trips when I was just doing what I needed to do!!) I wanted him to be able to relax after his heavy work week!!! I was trying to help HIM!

5. The fact that (don't get me wrong, I got THREE PERFECT KIDS out of this) he NEVER loved me and making me think that our whole relationship was a sham because he was too much of a coward to leave me when he wanted to. ANGRY BITTER SIDE COMING OUT...if that's the case, he cheated me out of a life that I could've had with someone who did love me and who would work on our marriage no matter what, especially with 3 adoring kids.


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

i sure don't miss my ex wife mental issues,cheating or lies, oh and of course i sure don't miss when she stabbed me.


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

67flh said:


> oh and of course i sure don't miss when she stabbed me.


WOW! I think you may have us all beat...


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Hey SD I have a selfish question:
> I have seen a lot of men talk about wanting women to be spontaneous, what exactly do you all mean?
> 
> I am just wondering what this might mean because I have kids and a time demanding career ... would this be a problem for men who want spontaneity?
> Just trying to prepare/better myself.


I am the kind of guy who would come home on a Friday from work and say, "I got reservations at a cabin for the weekend, pack a bag!" She would groan and roll her eyes. 

I was so damn happy all the time and just wanted spontaneity in the sense of doing anything fun, anytime the mood struck.

One of my kids was saying they wanted to go to the beach one Saturday morning so I packed the car before she got home from the market and said, "we're going to the beach today" 8 hour trip that she probably didn't love but the kids still talk about the day we went to the beach for 1 day.

Perhaps selfish here, but sexually as well. I would order her hundreds of dollars of Victoria's Secret when she was down and not feeling "sexy" but then when i got home she would still have it in the bag it was delivered in and much of it never untagged.

Those are all just my examples. Can't really say what other men mean when they talk about it. The biggest thing for me would just be spontaneous weekend or overnight trips. Nothing big, just something fun that was unplanned. That is what life is all about to me. Not her. Well, not her w/ me anyway. I suspect her NM and her are enjoying such things just as they are enjoying all the other things she wasn't happy about with me.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I don't miss stopping over early one Sunday morning to see my kids and see another mans truck in my driveway. I don't miss being told she will love me forever, than three weeks later telling me she wants a divorce. I definitely didn't enjoy moving out of the house 4 days before Christmas.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

sd212 said:


> I am the kind of guy who would come home on a Friday from work and say, "I got reservations at a cabin for the weekend, pack a bag!" She would groan and roll her eyes.
> 
> I was so damn happy all the time and just wanted spontaneity in the sense of doing anything fun, anytime the mood struck.
> 
> ...


Wow!! Wow! I have never experienced that. 
As long as it wasn't during a stressful work period I would be sooooo excited! 
I ALWAYS asked what was planned ... I had to plan everything.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> I don't miss the random fits of violence - the screaming, crying and intensity of his emotional tantrums. I don't miss the way he'd bash my head into the wall, or punch me in the back, or throw me to the floor. My ex was a good person before he got on drugs.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i hate these kind of men-if you want to call them that...
i prefer to call them pvssies


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Oh, and I don't miss how the topics of many recent conversations (when I say recent, I mean in the past year) have been regarding his bowel movements.


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

I don't miss his angry fits where he would walk out the door and stay gone for days on end and then come back like nothing happened. I don't miss the silent treatments or the angry nasty words I would get called during his rages. I DON'T miss his crazy family. 
I don't miss his burping and farting all the time. I don't miss his talking about 'bathroom' jokes constantly.


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

Wildflower3 said:


> Oh, and I don't miss how the topics of many recent conversations (when I say recent, I mean in the past year) have been regarding his bowel movements.


omg my stbxh constantly talked about/made jokes about his bowel movements. Any conversation could somehow end up there. It drove me crazy! :iagree:


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

I do not miss the fact that she hated kissing.

I do not miss never getting a hug.

I do not miss never having a dinner cooked for me.

I do not miss her rage.

I do not miss her cheating.

I do not miss not being enough.

I do not miss her anymore... She is not who I married and just maybe she never really was.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

Wow, Wildflower, I see many of the things in my marriage as you say in yours. I worked all the time to do things for my family, laundry, cleaning but I was also the spontaneous one. Bag always packed in case he wanted to do something special, the beach, fishing, go for a ride. I worked, raised two kids, kept track of all the family birthdays, holidays, did all the shopping and he went to work. Sure, he did the yard and car stuff. I don't miss wishing he would plan something for us to do together, I don't miss wishing he would offer to make dinner when I was working on a paper for school or caring for my Dad. I don't miss his pouting, his coldness, his unwillingness to share his emotions. And yet, I miss him, everyday


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Wildflower3 said:


> Ok, bitter side coming out (knowing full well I have my faults too...)
> 3. Not appreciating the fact that I, too, had a full time job and took on ALL the household responsibilities, yet still encouraged him to go out golfing on the weekends because I knew he needed time to blow off steam.


Ohhhh, yeahh on that one. Except he didn't have a full time job.

After he'd take a shower, he'd never clean up his towels and dirty clothes off the upstairs bathroom floor. The washer/dryer was off the kitchen, which was usually the first place he'd go after his shower. Why was it so f-ing difficult to carry them down to the place where you were going anyway? You HAD to leave them for *me* to bring downstairs? At one point, I decided not to do any of his laundry, only my son's and mine (after he said he wanted to split but still lived at home). I swear to God, it was ankle deep on the floor up there. I ended up having to do the towels anyway because he used all the clean ones in the house.

And he had this little habit of coming over and standing next to me when I'd be working on the computer. I thought maybe he was actually interested in what I was doing. I'd look up at his face and see this sheepish smile, then I'd look down and realize he just wanted a BJ. It was maybe cute the first time, but after that I think it was just rude. I didn't feel like a person, just a 'service.'


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I don't miss her snoring.

That a little lady like her could make a house-shaking noise like that?

Really... she sounded like a sleeping rhino


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## ontheup (Mar 4, 2012)

i don't miss being his full time carer
i dont miss his juvenile hmour about bodily functions
i don't miss the lying
i don't miss walking on eggshells around him never knowing if he was up or down
don't miss the constant mood swings
i don't miss the mess
i don't miss the unfinished DIY when he lost interest halfway through.
I don't miss playing dutch ovens (for people unknowledgable in that delight it is when he would pass wind then trap me under the duvet so i had to inhale it all in)
my list could go on......


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> I don't miss her snoring.
> 
> That a little lady like her could make a house-shaking noise like that?
> 
> Really... she sounded like a sleeping rhino



Yeah, I had the same issue, I really don't miss that, he used to tell me to "suck it up".....funny now his little g/f has to wear ear plugs, and he told me she's been so nice to him about the snoring. She doesn't have to live with him tho....


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I don't miss the fact that that he'd eat in the living room at night, and drop his food everywhere, on the sofa, floor, or just hide it under the coffee table.....then leave it for me to clean up the next day.

I don't miss the way he'd yell at me, be overly critical of my looks, make me feel crazy for my opinions.....

I felt like I had to be perfect all the time.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

You know what I find is funny, I read all these posts from women about their ex husbands, and I think....God I didn't do any of this. I did laundry, folded the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms at least once a week, cleaned up the dishes, vacuumed, told my wife she was beautiful, was there for my kids, did housework, mowed the lawn, shoveled the snow, all that stuff. Yet somehow at the end the lure for single life (after losing 60 lbs) was too great for her.


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## hilly2 (Jan 15, 2012)

I don't miss how I never felt good enough for him.
I don't miss that he used to put down my job (basically I didn't work hard enough)
I don't miss the inappropriate attention he gave to other women
I don't miss that he hardly helped around the house, then blamed me for it being too messy.
I don't miss his lies and deceit.

.......so why do I still miss him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> You know what I find is funny, I read all these posts from women about their ex husbands, and I think....God I didn't do any of this. I did laundry, folded the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms at least once a week, cleaned up the dishes, vacuumed, told my wife she was beautiful, was there for my kids, did housework, mowed the lawn, shoveled the snow, all that stuff. Yet somehow at the end the lure for single life (after losing 60 lbs) was too great for her.


It's not about you, it's about her.


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## yellowsubmarine (Feb 3, 2012)

I do not miss his passive aggressiveness.

I do not miss having to hear about shifting cat feces.

I do not miss his silent treatment in the car.

I do not miss reading his body language and knowing that he is lying to me, yet not know about what.

I do not miss that he would get his morning sex, but I wouldn't get my morning cup of coffee.

I do not miss keeping a clean house, yard, and having dinner always ready to go (yet working full time and working on a second graduate degree) and not be appreciated.

I do not miss having to wonder what the next shenanigan he is going to pull, like let a man live in my house without having the courtesy of checking with me.

I do not miss that he would always be more interested in watching reality TV than have a conversation with me.

I do not miss wondering if he is going to come to work and humiliate again.

I do not miss expressing my feelings and fears and hearing "you should be happy."


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## freckles18 (Sep 4, 2010)

1) Him plucking the whiskers off his face and putting them in his mouth.

2) Licking his fingers because they're dry. And, I'm supposed to kiss him after that? lol

3) Him coming home after work and saying a quick hello to just some of the kids and then basically ignoring them for the rest of the night.

4) Sleeping in until 11am every.single.weekend. Something he did during our 10 years of marriage.

5) The temper tantrums, manipulating, stonewalling, dismissing, and finally, him calling the cops when I said I wanted to talk about things after we had a disagreement. Talk about outsourcing our marital issues!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

freckles18 said:


> 1) Him plucking the whiskers off his face and putting them in his mouth.
> 
> 2) Licking his fingers because they're dry. And, I'm supposed to kiss him after that? lol


yea, that's just nasty. :redcard: :rant:


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## 1dayatatime (Feb 19, 2012)

I don't miss supporting all of us on my own and coming home to a messy house. 

I don't miss the sex especially since i didn't want to anymore but would be given the guilt trip (don't u love me anymore) to the anger (are u sleeping with someone else). It was more his hygiene then anything else.

I don't miss arguing about him playing video games/being on the computer all day while I was working

I don't miss finding out about purchases that were never discussed considering I was the one bringing in income

I don't miss the crying over feeling alone in this marriage when it should have been a partnership

I don't miss working all week, coming home to take care of household stuff and not getting to sleep in once in awhile when he didn't work and slept in all the damn time. 

I don't miss him cooking me dinner since he never did! 

I don't miss the whining like a little kid. Felt like he was more of a child then a husband.

I don't miss the mood swings and being his therapist so to speak. 

I don't miss getting stabbed and scratched by his toenails. 

I don't miss cleaning up after him!

I don't miss taking care of his health since he was too lazy to do things himself. 

I don't miss alot of things, too many to mention. 

I needed this post tonight, thanks.


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## SilverPanther (Feb 2, 2012)

I don't miss being told exactly what I can and can't wear

I don't miss being told constantly about all the ways I have failed to live up to my "duty" as his wife

I don't miss his constant guilt trips about how I wasn't interesting enough in the bedroom, when he was just a psychological disaster when it came to sex. 

I don't miss being treated to detailed fantasies of his involving me and other women, and him thinking that this was totally kosher for a husband to want because hey, at least he always wanted ME to be one of the participants

I don't miss being belittled and told everything I like or care about isn't really important, or is even wrong.

And I too do not miss being told he loves me, when the truth is he doesn't know what that word means


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

hilly2 said:


> I don't miss how I never felt good enough for him.
> I don't miss that he used to put down my job (basically I didn't work hard enough)
> I don't miss the inappropriate attention he gave to other women
> I don't miss that he hardly helped around the house, then blamed me for it being too messy.
> ...


Wait - were you married to my husband, too? I'm seeing major patterns here...


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

angelpixie said:


> Wait - were you married to my husband, too? I'm seeing major patterns here...


lol

i think most people on her were married to either the same man or woman


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I've been divorced for over 2 years, separated for nearly 3. And I have never once missed anything about my ex. I guess what I'm saying is, that after 20 years of marriage, I don't miss nuthin'. It wasn't much of a marriage, I guess.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Not missing:

1. The complete selfishness that surfaced in things like grocery shopping (always got foods HE liked and the h&ll with the rest of us, kids included!)

2. That it was perfectly fine to spend $$ money as long as it was to HIS benefit.

3. Waking up in the middle of the night gasping and choking as a result of the stench that emanated from him that gathered in a toxic cloud that hung over the bed. Swear it was green in color!

4. Being unable to roll the truck windows down for fresh air because he farted and loved to share his scent. Me and the kids started quoting Fat Bast*rd from Austin Powers when he says "everybody loves their own brand".

5. The nights left alone as he "went to the store" and it ended up taking 8 or more hours to get a pack of smokes.

6. Constantly being left to my own devices after undergoing brain surgery. This means, no offer from him of assistance in getting in & out of our track, never walking beside me in case I fell (double vision for nearly a year, balance issues, etc)


I am finding more and more things I no longer miss and I'm sure the list will continue to grow til finally I won't miss HIM!


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

I won't miss....

• The weekends being left alone or left to look after our daughter while he went to 'play out' with his mates on his bike or jet skiing.

• Spending all his money on himself, the jetski, the motorbike but not paying his share of the bills

• The Absolute lack of romance and affection & getting pushed away when I tried to kiss/cuddle him

• His indifference 

• His jealousy & possessiveness - constantly being accused of having an affair & not being allowed a social life.

• The sulking & 2 week long silent treatment when I did ever venture out with work or a friend. 

• Calling me lazy because I expected you to help around the house once our daughter came along

• His lack of care or empathy when I am sick yet when he is sick he expected to be waited on hand and foot

• Bad mouthing me to his family telling them I am lazy, lying to them saying he has to do all the washing, cooking, shopping & cleaning?! Yeah right!

• Not defending me if people insult me

• For using my weight as a reason for his affair but never offering to help, join him at the gym - only criticism 

• Knowing he is looking me in the eye and lying about anything & everything

• His inability to tell the truth on any subject however small

• His bragging about what possessions he has, how much it cost etc.. Nobody cares!! 

• Boasting about his past experiences (it's all lies anyway)

• Him trying to intimidate me and implying you will hurt me if you don't get your own way. Grabbing me round the throat in front of our daughter

• His arrogance, thinking that he knows better than everyone when people ridicule you behind your back for your stupidity

• His ignorance, bigotry and racist comments. I want our daughter to learn tolerance 

• His unfaithfulness 

• His selfishness and inability to even consider anyone else's needs, desires or rights other than his own

• The one way sex life.. Coming downstairs with just his robe on, stinking of cheap cigarettes & expecting me to satisfy your degrading sexual fantasies without so much as a kiss or a hint of foreplay

• Him expecting me to be grateful for giving him a BJ & in return for nothing

• His childish spoiled attitude to 'your things' it's a [email protected]*king glass - get over yourself!!!

• The way he put things down when he comes in & it living there for the next 6 months 

• His ungratefulness 

• The way he farts & think it's funny especially when it's the most foul smelling thing known to man.. & teaching our daughter to do the same

• His inability to share anything unless forced to or shamed into it

• His childishness & deep rooted immaturity 

• His inability to accept any advice from me, yet taking poor advice from so called friends. Then blaming me for not helping him

• Always assuming the worst of me, that I am somehow out to get him or having a go at him

• Feeling constantly upset because he is treating me like crap for no reason

• Walking on eggshells because I dont know what it is that I have done wrong 

• His lack of appreciation for anything I have done for him, or do for him

• His lack of manners, a thank you would be nice once in a while 

• His apathy about going away on holiday, I offered to take us to New York, Vegas, anywhere but he was not interested in planning or paying for it

Oh lord that feels better....


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## letmebeme (Feb 23, 2012)

I don't miss her leaving our marriage 5 times in 4 years.

I don't miss her adult daughters pursuading her to leave our marriage everyday.

I don't miss her ex telling her how to live her life and her following through w/it

I don't miss her crazy mother telling her that if she came back to me that she would be cut out of her will.

I don't miss letting her back home and knowing that the love nad trust that we invest can be gone in a moment and poof, here it goes again.

I don't miss the fact that she is 48 and acts/lives like she's 18.

I don't miss being responsible for our joy, entertainment, health, food, vacations, bills, running our business, choice of religion, goals, future plans.

I am sooooooooo ready for this divorce to be over and find a partner to share a great life with.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I love my husband so much. Reading all this garbage is just eye opening to how awesome my husband is.

I hope y'all find someone awesome if you haven't already.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I'm with you Mamatomany, I don't miss the hours upon hours he spent chatting with his new facebook friends and the closing down when I walked in the room. Or how he'd do it in the open sitting on the corner of the couch so the computer faced away from all of us…I don't miss him telling me I was crazy when I hrought up the fact that I knew he was talking to 'her' via text or private FB messaging. I dont miss walking in on him while he was reading a text from her and spooking the crud out of him because he was so into his message that he didnt hear me walk up.


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## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

don't miss cleaning the pee stains on the toilet!!!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

cabbage65 said:


> don't miss cleaning the pee stains on the toilet!!!




come on now, you get a man and this comes with it as the special bonus.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

justabovewater said:


> I'm with you Mamatomany, I don't miss the hours upon hours he spent chatting with his new facebook friends and the closing down when I walked in the room. Or how he'd do it in the open sitting on the corner of the couch so the computer faced away from all of us…I don't miss him telling me I was crazy when I hrought up the fact that I knew he was talking to 'her' via text or private FB messaging. I dont miss walking in on him while he was reading a text from her and spooking the crud out of him because he was so into his message that he didnt hear me walk up.


exactly... man my h would jump! I'd be almost right next to him w/o being able to see the screen and he would be so into the screen he wouldn't hear/see me!


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## dazed/confused (Jan 18, 2012)

I don't miss:

Being in the same conversation as everybody else and being completely ignored every single time. 

Being ignored when it came time to fix dinner.

Being overridden when it was time for our daughter to learn an important lesson about anything.

Not having a voice in anything that was important to whole family. And then being accused of not stepping up and taking charge.

Working a full time job AND running a part time business and getting told to "be a man" and to get another job.

Being told to do things in excruciating detail because nobody does things as good as she can herself.

Being told that you never initiate anything after years of rejection OR knowing full well that you are getting guilt sex.

there is more but I'm tired.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

I don't miss having endless sex with him when he is drunk and can't "finish". I don't miss how painful that was.
I don't miss walking on eggshells because I never knew what kind of mood he was in.
I don't miss his ignorance about what is going on in the world.
I don't miss his dangerous driving.
I don't miss having to listen to his endless stories that I've already heard.


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