# out of sync



## Sampson001 (May 30, 2013)

I am married to a woman who was raised in a family that appears to never express their feelings. To keep things to themselves. 

I am from a family that talked about things. 

Our sex life over the coarse of our marriage has seemed to follow this same pattern. I have wanted an expression filled relationship. She seems to want to keep her feelings to herself. 

We have been married for 12 years. Over the coarse of our marriage I have tried many times to get her to express her desires to hardly any success. Over the past couple of years I have been more frustrated and want more out of our sex life than what we have. 

It seems that anytime I try to get her to talk, she just responds "I never do sex right for you". This is not true. I just want to grow. Maybe try new things. Maybe talk about sex. Maybe talk about something other than our kids, the neighbors etc. 

Any idea's on how to deal with such a personality would be helpful.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you thought of counseling for the two of you?

Other than that, she is who she is. The only person you can control is yourself. So work on yourself.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Her comment "I never do sex right for you" tells me however these conversations are going and I'm sure not your intent but she is taking it as critisism, not being good enough, lacking in some way. This can really inhibit and close her off sexually if she feels she cannot meet your standards or please you which seems to be what she is saying when you try to discuss it. Think about how you are communicating your wants through her eyes. You may be better off praising what you do like while positively encouraging and facilitating growth rather than pointing out what is lacking. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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