# A year on- D-day



## Kindone (Mar 14, 2013)

This is one of the dates I have been dreading. On January the 7th 2013 (12 months today)I went to work as normal but something told me that day I needed to finish early and fair enough I did. When I got home I locked into my H FB account!!! Oh boy I had pleasure of reading a 251 page chat between H and a wh4re!! I learnt why H couldn't have picked up our 2 kids up on separate occasions from school, grandparents, what trips to the gym meant, Xmas party with gym mates, what happened in his/our car, plans to leave me and the kids(kids were not even mentioned in his plans)!! Don't get me wrong, H is a great father, it's a big shame that he went so low; he was never gonna leave as the affair finished before it even started anyway!! The story goes on and on; I read all the gory details. I picked up a phone with my whole body shaking and called him asking him to make sure that he came straight away, he new from my voice that the game was over! I never exposed H affair; I kept it to myself I guess I felt ashamed, shocked, confused certainly in disbelieve. I still protected him even after all that. Unfortunately this killed me inside for a very long time and my poor H couldn't cope with my emotions, anger and all the rest!!!! Now we are separated for nearly 10weeks. When H suggested the separation I was devastated again but I am truly pleased it has happened and I wish it happened a lot earlier!!! I never thought I would ever feel normal(ish) again; less angry, calmer, no more crying all the time, no over thinking, no analysing. I forgave H straight away one of the reasons being, I new if I stayed angry/bitter it would have literally destroyed me forever; I'm naturally a happy, bubbly person who loves life and cares too much but that's me. I loved H and probably I will never stop loving him; what we had was good and special one time. Our kids don't know the truth nor my parents, only few friends who know a bit but not the full story!! Maybe it's a secret that I will take with me to my grave but it really doesn't matter, what matters is how I am. Call me stupid or silly but hey that's how I have dealt with the experience. I'm not writing this because I'm sad or want to dwell on the history but I just wanted to share this mainly with those who are new here and probably thinking things will never get better. Well believe me things do get better so much so you look back sometimes and laugh. H and I are getting on a lot better since the separation and for me, I'm ready for whatever the outcomes; D or R. This forum has been great, although I have not posted many threads here, I've read and benefited from the comments on other people's posts as well.


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## thompkevin (Jul 17, 2013)

Thanks for sharing your story. I am glad you are feeling better. You seem like a lovely person and I hope you feel even better in the future.


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## Kindone (Mar 14, 2013)

Thanks thompkevin. I never thought it was possible to ever feel good again! I'm even worried that there is something wrong or this feeling is not gonna last!! I hope you too fully recover from the storm!


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