# Same boat, different day!



## naivexyn (Jan 19, 2021)

After reading through a few of these discussions, my story will sadly be about the same as many others. Been together with my man for 5 years. Have had 3 babies together, miscarried the first baby at 4 mos prego and have a living 3 yo and 9 mos old baby. 
Long story short, he is verbally and sometimes physically abusive. When he's good, he's great. When he's angry and seeing red, it's a nightmare. We both have admitted we are hanging on for the babies and have no interest to be together for each other. Think roommate type of relationship - no sex and no interest to be intimate mentally or physically. But when I try to physically leave he never lets me. He tries to make up - tells me we are the only family he has. We have to stay together for the kids. I'm not serious about leaving, otherwise I would have already left. 
And sadly I haven't left because honestly I'm embarrassed to admit our 'marriage' has failed to others. I'm also nervous to leave because the only place I have to go to is my Grandma's, but it's not close to my work at all AND it's not child proofed at all. So my kids could not run free without me hovering over them 24/7. I could move to an apt but I need to seriously save up and fix my credit (due to relationship) so living someplace for free like my Gma's is ideal just not realistic.
I do still love him and wish we could make this work. I just can't take him tearing me down daily. For instance I work nights and sacrifice my sleep a lot to make sure my children don't have to go to daycare and he complained today that I don't play enough with them or stimulate their brains enough. Excuse me? I have had 3 hours of sleep for the past 2 days and your concern is their quality of playtime?! I just can't anymore. I have given up a lot for him - friends, family, time, body, etc yet I'm lazy and stupid. I have a good job and degrees, but he's so much smarter than me. My 9 mos old is a girl and I just feel like I need to show her how to be a strong woman and leave when put in this situation. Same for my son. I don't want him to treat his wife the same way 'daddy talks to mommy'. I'm scared to leave but i feel like it will be like these other posts where they regret not leaving earlier. Don't know what to do...


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You must leave this violent abuser for your childrens sakes. Not only may he also abuse them as they get older, but they are seeing terrible things that will damage them for life. If you have to go to your grandmas then go. Dont tell him you are going of course, but pack up and go when he is at work and dont tell him were you are going. 
Not he is not smarter than you, he has just told you that to make himself seem better. Do you have other family, or friends who can help?


----------



## naivexyn (Jan 19, 2021)

I have my Mom and other relatives but no where else I can move into at the moment. My Dad would take us but he's in another state...


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

naivexyn said:


> I have my Mom and other relatives but no where else I can move into at the moment. My Dad would take us but he's in another state...


Can you take the children and move to be with your dad?


----------

