# Breastfeeding twins and one other question



## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

So, I haven’t posted in a while. Our 3, 4, and 6 year-olds are keeping me busy! I’m now pregnant with our last child(ren). We always said we wanted one last baby after our youngest turned 3 but that was ONE last baby! LOL. I still can’t wrap my mind around it. I’m overjoyed and scared out of my wits at the same time! 

Anyway, wanted to know if any Moms (or Dads with partners) experienced breastfeeding twins or witnessed someone who did? What was it like? It seems like every thing I've read, Moms start off wanting to breastfeed but then end up either pumping or bottlefeeding. I’m tempted to bottle feed mainly because I can get more help that way but then feel that’s kind of selfish of me. Friends and family are telling me I better do whatever maintains my sanity! LOL. 

My other question…I have 3 kids and have been given 3 baby showers, all epic. Both hubby and I love to celebrate the arrivals but really don’t want to have another shower. Instead we want to do a gender reveal. When I mentioned to a group of friends that it was bad etiquette to have multiple baby showers they looked at me like I had two heads and asked where in the world I got that from. Has anyone else heard this?


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Congratulations! 

I've had friends with twins. One bottle fed. One breastfed exclusively for the first year. Others did various combinations of breastfeeding, pumping, formula, whatever worked for them. All of their kids turned out just fine and are all responsible respectable children/teens/young adults now. So I recommend doing whatever feels right to you. If you want to breastfeed, do it. Just know that there's no shame in pumping, supplementing, or even switching to formula, if one of those options ends up being better for you. 

I'm not sure it's considered terribly ill-mannered to have more than one baby shower these days. In generations past, when most people had large families and women were near-perpetually pregnant, it was considered in poor taste to keep hitting everyone up for goodies for the new baby every 18-24 months. Plus, with kids so close together, most people still had all the baby gear for their newest addition. So, no, more than one baby shower was traditionally not done. It's become more common in recent generations, though, as people have fewer children and space them farther out. Some people will still balk at a second (or more) baby shower, just as some people will balk at a bridal shower for a bride who is on her second (or more) marriage. But traditions and what's considered acceptable will vary a good bit based on region and culture. 

It is, however, considered ill-mannered to throw _yourself_ any type of shower. Showers come with the explicit expectation of gifts. Inviting guests for the express purpose of receiving gifts from them is bad form. Which is why all showers were traditionally thrown by friends, rather than the honoree. "Hey, come have cake and bring something for Susan" is somehow different from "Hey, come have cake and bring me something" - at least when it comes to traditional etiquette. 

It would, strictly speaking, be more appropriate to host a gender reveal, baby welcoming party, or some other such 'not-a-shower' event. If people want to bring gifts, they can do so at their own discretion. But, unlike a shower, gifts should not be the primary motivation for the event and shouldn't be expected.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Hi! * waves madly *

Congrats! 

I'm of no help, but a multiple gender reveal could fun, double the ways to mess with people >


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

@Rowan thanks for the input. All 3 showers were hosted by friends and family. The first 2 we knew about, the 3rd was a surprise (but hubby knew) and really the MOST uncomfortable because I had said no to a 3rd shower especially since they were 10 months apart. The gender reveal will be hosted by us. I've never seen gifts at a gender reveal which is why we're doing it. But closer to the delivery my sisters and besties want to host a shower. Im going to stick to no and hope they will respect that. 

I didn't know the "history" on why it was considered bad etiquette so thanks for that!
@CharlieParker Hey! Hope all is well? I'm super excited about the gender reveal! We have 1 girl and 2 boys so we're not pressed either way but the way we plan to reveal will be epic (and safe, LOL).


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

CharlieParker said:


> Hi! * waves madly *
> 
> Congrats!
> 
> I'm of no help, but a multiple gender reveal could fun, double the ways to mess with people >


It would have been funnier not to tell anyone that they were expecting twins until they showed up to visit.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I only had singles, but if I had twins I probably would have breastfed them, too. If you have really good nutrition, honestly it might be easier than bottle feeding, even with two of them!


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Livvie said:


> I only had singles, but if I had twins I probably would have breastfed them, too. If you have really good nutrition, honestly it might be easier than bottle feeding, even with two of them!


I haven't had twins either but breastfeeding was sooooo easy. If you are able to stay home most of the time, it seems like it would be easier to whip out both at the same time and feed two at once, using the football hold. When going in public, bottle feeding would be easier, so as to not offend the sensitive, or be worried about your covering falling off. (I never covered up at home, but always did in public. Staying covered with twins would be a challenge as they got older.)


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I would tell the sisters...that if they insist on a shower later, to make it either a diaper shower (which would really be a big help!) or a mama shower! Or a frozen dinner/casserole shower....if that is a thing! 

Sisters just want to help.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Hi there!

Congrats on enlarging the family!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Congratulations! That sounds very exciting.

Personally, if I had twins, I would think that breastfeeding would be much easier than bottle feeding. I felt that way with singles, but twins would be even more of a pain to bottle feed. You can literally feed them both at the same time. I've seen numerous people tandem nurse and it's not a big deal.

One of the things I enjoyed about breastfeeding was how much I could eat! With twins you can eat like crazy and not worry about it. haha

Breastfeeding was such a big part of my mothering that I cannot imagine how I would have managed without it. There are so many aspects to nursing that make parenting easier. You even get calming hormones from breastfeeding to help you deal with all the chaos.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Breastfeeding, at least mostly, will give you a mandatory, peaceful sit-down for you and them and has good reports about immunity and health. Will you have help with the other youngsters?

I'm going to a gender reveal tomorrow--low key, some take extra food and others may take mom gift or nothing--just help with the flow.

In my part of the country, we sometimes have a 'Sip 'n See'. This is to introduce babies to friends and others without having them ALL want to visit at a chaotic time in your life. It is a come and go open house with soft drinks, wine, snacks, whatever--no gifts--and is often given by close friends (instead of shower). Other sibs can help introduce new babies and get some attention themselves.

Take care of yourself.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Maternity nurse here: I think how successful you'll be at breastfeeding twins depends on how well they nurse, how much experience you have with breastfeeding and how much your other kids will tolerate your need to sit and nurse two babies all the time. 

I say go into it with an open mind. It's supposed to be a bonding experience and if you find it isn't, it's time to stop.

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!! x2!!! :grin2:


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## suburbanmom (May 28, 2018)

I second the advice to go into it with an open mind and see how it goes.

I have twins who are children #3 and 4. I had breastfed the older two exclusively for over a year each. The twins were a different ballgame for a variety of reasons -- in particular, they were born smaller and weaker with more food intolerances and severe reflux, and I was torn in a million directions with the older kids and didn't have the same expanse of hours to spend sitting and nursing (and nursing on the go, as I did with #2, wasn't feasible in the same way with twins). Tandem nursing never really worked well for us, and they had a bunch of food allergies that meant that eventually my very restricted diet was incapable of producing enough milk for two babies. We made it to the 6 month mark, barely, and I weaned suddenly because I got very sick (largely due to stress and exhaustion) and we started them on hypoallergenic formula, which for all us was a total God send. I know other moms who have managed to exclusively BF twins, and others who gave up on nursing after a few weeks. Twins are hard; the first year with twins and older kids, in my experience, is sheer survival mode. Take it one day at a time and see how it goes.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

sidney2718 said:


> Hi there!
> 
> Congrats on enlarging the family!


Hey! @sidney2718 how have you been, hope you've been well! Long time no hear from! How is "the group", is it still together? Good to see you posting, although I don't get to post much so I don't see anybody.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

sunsetmist said:


> In my part of the country, we sometimes have a 'Sip 'n See'. This is to introduce babies to friends and others without having them ALL want to visit at a chaotic time in your life. It is a come and go open house with soft drinks, wine, snacks, whatever--no gifts--and is often given by close friends (instead of shower). Other sibs can help introduce new babies and get some attention themselves.
> 
> Take care of yourself.


"Sip'nSee" ... first I've ever heard of it! My culture is so protective over newborns, especially the matriarchs in my family that they would think I had lost my mind if I had a bunch of people coming over to see them! Except for immediate family and all the grandparents, usually the Christening (around 2 or 3 months) is the "unveiling" but all 3 of my kids were christened late. But that's interesting!

Help with the other kids...yes I have a very large family and so does hubby, I will have lots of help available. Just have to balance that with my obsession with making sure they older kids don't feel tossed aside.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

notmyjamie said:


> Maternity nurse here: I think how successful you'll be at breastfeeding twins depends on how well they nurse, how much experience you have with breastfeeding and how much your other kids will tolerate your need to sit and nurse two babies all the time.
> 
> I say go into it with an open mind. It's supposed to be a bonding experience and if you find it isn't, it's time to stop.
> 
> Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!! x2!!! :grin2:


I breast fed baby #1 almost 2 years, baby #2 for a little over 6 months (got pregnant again when he was 2 months), and baby #3 for a little over a year. So plenty of experience but never two babies at once! Really nervous about it and if I can make it work. And yes, worried about managing the other littles at the same time! I'm a SAHM and only one is in school.

Thanks for your input!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

La Leche League may have some resources to help you.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

suburbanmom said:


> I second the advice to go into it with an open mind and see how it goes.
> 
> I have twins who are children #3 and 4. I had breastfed the older two exclusively for over a year each. The twins were a different ballgame for a variety of reasons -- in particular, they were born smaller and weaker with more food intolerances and severe reflux, and I was torn in a million directions with the older kids and didn't have the same expanse of hours to spend sitting and nursing (and nursing on the go, as I did with #2, wasn't feasible in the same way with twins). Tandem nursing never really worked well for us, and they had a bunch of food allergies that meant that eventually my very restricted diet was incapable of producing enough milk for two babies. We made it to the 6 month mark, barely, and I weaned suddenly because I got very sick (largely due to stress and exhaustion) and we started them on hypoallergenic formula, which for all us was a total God send. I know other moms who have managed to exclusively BF twins, and others who gave up on nursing after a few weeks. Twins are hard; the first year with twins and older kids, in my experience, is sheer survival mode. Take it one day at a time and see how it goes.


Wow you've lived through it! Were your twins in NICU? My first was in for low birth weight for a day or so for precaution. My 2nd was was a preemie and low birth weight and in NICU for almost a month. The third weighed a little over 5 lbs and was my largest baby, no NICU. So that was another issue I was thinking about...how twins are usually born early and might have early issues, especially since I have a history of low birth weight. I'm kind of feeling apprehensive about the stress and exhaustion; I felt it a lot when my kids were newborn, 10 months, and 3 years and hubby was away a lot on travel. Just a quick trip to the grocery store was a major production! Thank God I made it through that period but thinking this is going to be a whole other ball game. But you're on the other side of it and you're still sane! Right? LOL


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Cynthia said:


> La Leche League may have some resources to help you.


Thanks! Have heard of them, but never sought them out but I will definitely look them up!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

thefam said:


> Thanks! Have heard of them, but never sought them out but I will definitely look them up!


I love your avatar. It's cute!

They were my go-to for breastfeeding information. They have groups that meet in various places. I found them to be a good place to talk and get input from other moms, plus a good place for the kids to play with friends. I'd make myself go just to get out of the house.

There are cushions you can use now that will help you hold both babies.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Cynthia said:


> I love your avatar. It's cute!


Definitely need a new one! I need to find @SimplyAmorous, I think she has 5. Or @jld. Are they still around?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

thefam said:


> Definitely need a new one! I need to find @SimplyAmorous, I think she has 5. Or @jld. Are they still around?


Aww. I think you should keep it. It perfectly fits your username and it's cute. It's a happy avatar.


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## suburbanmom (May 28, 2018)

thefam said:


> suburbanmom said:
> 
> 
> > I second the advice to go into it with an open mind and see how it goes.
> ...


Totally on the other side - my twins are 7.5 now! And still more or less sane!  Honestly, though the early years were crazy, I still feel like having the twins was the single luckiest thing that's ever happened to me (not the best thing -that's definitely a tie with meeting the hubs and having my other kids - but in terms of unlikeliness, definitely the luckiest). I tell them that i won the lottery with them nearly everyday.

In terms of the birth weight stuff - my girls were almost full term for twins - 36 weeks - and in the 5 lb range, so we did avoid the NICU. My twins are identical and they were sharinga placenta, which comes with risks, so there was that stress, and I ended up on bed rest because of early contractions, and that was also super stressful, but fortunately it all worked out. My free advice, for whatever's it's worth, would be to eat as much protein as you can stomach, lie down completely horizontally whenever possible, get used to accepting help when it's offered, and try to keep a positive outlook. Twins are so amazing in so many ways. 

Oh yeah - one more thought - I've noticed that lots of the stores around here (including Target) will bring things to your car if you pre-order them online. If they do that in your area, that would be perfect for a mom of baby/toddler twins!!


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