# should i read into it?



## imperfectionist (Jun 13, 2011)

my husband works OTR and comes home on weekends. we barely have time to talk over the phone during the week. when we finally do, he always tells me how much he misses me and wants to be home and spend time with me and kids. the conversation at some point in the week will always lean toward some kind of sexual fluff that i guess most young couples have when they dont see eachother for a long time and are of course sexually frusterated. 
the problem is this..... when he finally does make it home he is generally to exhausted physically or mentally to do anything. i know he is physically attracted to me. i have recently lost a lot of weight and am always getting his compliments in this area, so i know its not a lack of interest. i feel as though i struggle for his attention all weekend long (between his college work and home duties on top of 3 kids).
i dont know what i need to do at this point. i know if i just jumped on top of him he would gladly take it. but i would also like to be approached. my famous line to him is i want you to want me! should i just be grateful for what i get and settle for now, or push for what i feel i need.
i would love to hear from other wives who have maybe been through the same situation and also the men who maybe able to tell me what i need to focus on.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

I'm in a somewhat similar position, but my husband is not sexual with me hardly ever. Could it be that he's more comfortable saying sexual stuff and missing you when he's away but then is not so good at real intimacy when you are together? He may have gravitated to a job with built-in distance for a reason - because he doesn't like being that close to you. Some people have commitment/intimacy issues and this is how they play out - one person is the pursuer (you) and one person is the distancer (him). He may want to be closer but not know how to achieve it or it might make him claustrophobic to get too close to you.

I would talk to him and let him know exactly what you want. Do it in a non-accusatory way. Be specific "I want sex at least once when you are home, and I want you to initiate it with me." or "I want us to have a date night each time you are home." Guys do better if you give them specifics like that....unless there is a deeper issue like what I described above.


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