# Someone please answer my top 10 Qs about ending a marriage



## DaveWalters (Aug 26, 2013)

1. What happens to the contents of the house, especially all the furniture? I know that sounds like an easy question, but really, what sort of 1 or 2 bedroom apartment is going to be able to house 50% of your former life?

2. With kids involved and a STBXW who doesn't work, what sort of financial ruins awaits me after the state calculates my share of child support.

2b. After paying said child support, what if I don't have enough to live on? My salary just barely pays enough to us to get by on under one roof, what's the quality of life that we'll have when dividing that to become under 2 roofs?

3. What do I do with my wedding band? Wedding photos?

4. How do I tell the kids?

5. Does this really suck every ounce of life out of you? Do you find the will to continue, to trust anyone again?

6. Will I be angry at her forever for taking away my happiness, my life, my home, my children, for evidently wasting 14 years and having nothing to show for it?

7. Is this really a complete re-do? Just like being out of college, broke, alone, without a pot to piss in, except now I'm 45 not 23?

8. I guess I can't think of anything intelligent to ask for questions 8, 9, and 10. That's enough for today.


----------



## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

*Re: Re: Someone please answer my top 10 Qs about ending a marriage*



DaveWalters said:


> 1. What happens to the contents of the house, especially all the furniture? I know that sounds like an easy question, but really, what sort of 1 or 2 bedroom apartment is going to be able to house 50% of your former life?
> 
> My ex and I came to an agreement. He took the bedroom set some accessory tables, etc and I kept the living room set. It is much cheaper to work this out on your own, than trying to pay a lawyer $400/hr to fight over a coffee table.
> 
> ...


I promise... It gets better.


----------



## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

You can agree on the household stuff, doesn't have to be 50/50. Perhaps one of you wants all the household goods and the other then can agree to pay a lump sum or give a car in exchange. something so it is fair and equal.

If you cannot afford child support you can go to the state child support office and ask for a reduction. They will review your finances and make that decision. My exhusband never paid more than $50 per child because his finances were always bad.

Will you be bitter? Probably yes, over alot of things but you will learn to deal with them and you will learn to deal with life again and even enjoy life once more.

It's not a complete re-do, life really does go on for what you want from it.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

DaveWalters said:


> 1. What happens to the contents of the house, especially all the furniture? I know that sounds like an easy question, but really, what sort of 1 or 2 bedroom apartment is going to be able to house 50% of your former life?
> 
> 2. With kids involved and a STBXW who doesn't work, what sort of financial ruins awaits me after the state calculates my share of child support.
> 
> ...


Why is the marriage ending? How old are the kids? To answer some of your questions...

I'm the primary income earner in my recently ended marriage. When I left, I took my clothes and work/computer stuff. Left everything else. Moved into a friend's basement suite for about six months and got my stuff together. Moved into a nice condo overlooking the local river valley about 6 months after moving out. All in all, the moving out was sad at first (missing the kids being the only reason), but overall, I'm happier than I'd been in the last 3+ years of my marriage. 

You need to talk to a lawyer to cover what you can realistically expect for your "post-divorce" financial situation. Your wife will likely be expected to work, and become as self-sufficient as possible. The longer you're married, however, the longer you might expect to support her, even after the kids are grown and on their own. Delaying action is not in your best interest.

And finally... Whether you become or remain bitter is entirely up to you. If you chose to dwell on what "might have been", you'll probably remain bitter and angry. If you chose to move on and make the most of your future, you'll likely find that your marriage really wasn't a happy place, and there's something better out there for you. It's all up to you.

C


----------

