# Do women view man as sex junkies?



## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

I have been on an all man forum for a few years; I recently came to TAM because I enjoy the perceptions and thoughts of the women here, along with other men.

I posted this thread in the all man’s forum some time back, I am posting it here as it may shed some light for some of the men. But I would also enjoy any feedback from the women here. Just to confirm/reject my thoughts?

“I think I understand where my wife has been coming from, we have been married for 30 years, we have been intimate a million times, she enjoys intimacy, but her life does not revolve around it. Mine does, I'm like a sex junkie.

She feels that sex should not be the center of our marriage. She wants to enjoy the pleasures of life; sex is a part of that, but not the biggest part. She feels badgered when I am always placing too much importance on physical affection and sex. In her view, I am always looking for my next sexual fix.

Think about this, from the time a woman is born, they are viewed as a sexual object, everywhere they go, everything they do, there is always men staring at them, checking them out, and trying to get in their panties. This is the view they have of men, their husband included.

Even when we are meeting all of their needs, most of us are doing so to get our sexual fix, at least that’s what our wife feels, and she is most likely right.

For example, I have taken my wife on many vacations.
We go to these great locations and sure, I enjoy them, but my mind is focused on getting back to the hotel room for sex, trust me, our wives know that, and that is often exactly what kills her desire.

If we, as men, focused more on having a great time, bonding with our wife emotionally, enjoying the pleasure of where we were, who we were with, and the experience. Then that in itself could bring out more desire in our wife.

I have learned not to seduce my wife only when I want intimacy, I don’t even initiate sex, I initiate affection, love, and intimacy that lead to sex. I don’t do this every three or four days when I start to feel the desire, I do it every day, I do it because this is who I am, I do it weather she responds or not, I just enjoy and praise her when she does respond intimately.

This does not have to only happen on vacations, it can be right inside our home, the park, the zoo; I am creating experiences to bond with her emotions, not her libido. When I do this correctly, intimacy is offered by free will, or at least made clear that she is receptive to me.

My point here is that, for most women, life does not revolve around sex. Life revolves around pleasure, enjoyment, fun, romance, and an emotional closeness. 

Sex for her revolves around that."

Would you agree or disagree?

Warmly,
RDJ


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'm a sex junkie! Thank god my husband is too 

I'm not concerned with all men. Each man is different.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

This totally matches up with His Needs Her Needs in my opinion.

The Most Important Emotional Needs

Most men's #1 emotional need is Sexual Fullfillment. It is how we gain intimacy and connect. Women's priorities are generally different. So the approach is to meet each others needs. You are essentially stating exactly this.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

*Do women view man as sex junkies? *

Sometimes I do. Depends on my mood. 

Re: the rest of your post, there is no denying that when a woman feels EMOTIONALLY connected to her partner, it bonds her to him and her desire is so much greater. Not to say she can't be horny w/o all that jazz but it certainly makes it outofthisworldamazingbetter vs. some hanky panky.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Yes, it may seem like men are sex junkies. I would say yes. But that's not a bad thing since that's how men gain intimacy with their partners. It becomes a "bad" thing when it's careless with many people and it's ALL they think about so.... that's probably what most people think about when they hear "sex fanatics/junkies" etc. I would also say it's a bad thing if all they do is take and don't give.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

No more so than women are shoe shopping junkies.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

I can't speak for other men but only for myself. So with that being said, I would say, when I was younger I viewed myself as a "sex junkie" and the women I dated probably did as well. 

Now that I am older, I still love, want and need sex with my wife, but it is not something that is the be all end all for me.


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

I cannot speak on behalf of all, but most that I have known are as hardwired for sex as men....

I grown up with a very close cousin who did not understand TMI, and to me she was more concerned about gettin some, I in turn thought she was just strange, but as I grew older it seemed that most women were as much into getting laid as the guys were...

I have had many of discussions with my wife about this, the conclusion I came to is this, women much like men are as interested in sex, sometimes the things guys think they are not into... But, unlike men, women tend to be private and personal about it... They are not as quick to put it all out there as a man might be...

My wife is... Well how do I put it, she has the mind of a dirty old man, is quick to jump me, and as long as a proper situation allow, if I say let's do xyz she's naked faster than I can get my socks off... So to say the least, every persons different, but let's see how anyone feels...


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## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

Thanks for your replies.

I should have noted that I wrote this when my wife and I were pretty well disconnected (as many that come here) and I was trying to find answers to reconnecting with her.

I was a bit lost, I did not realize there was a problem until the sex went away. Connection, what's that? :scratchhead:

Warmly,

RDJ


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> No more so than women are shoe shopping junkies.


I have 4 pairs of shoes. lol. 

The stereotypes on this board are ridiculous


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I have 4 pairs of shoes. lol.
> 
> The stereotypes on this board are ridiculous


Funny you say that. My husband has more shoes than I do and the closet we share is made up mostly of his things.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

That was my point.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> That was my point.


 I'm just a little heated about something else!


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## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I'm a sex junkie! Thank god my husband is too


I am impressed, 2,025 post's and a sex junkie.

Clearly you can type with your toes. :rofl:

Just joking, sorry I could not pass it up. I hope a little humor will brighten your day!

Warmly,
RDJ


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I love the fact Men are Sex Junkies. I can easily say this though cause my husband NEVER badgered me for sex -even when he wanted more.  I have never had that experience -even though I would have given anything to be badgered in the last 3 years. I would have eaten that up! 

I do not like the fact men slow down as they age (some men) while women's libido's climb higher, I think this sucks and I wish someone would have informed me of this fact when I was younger so I could have reveled in how my husband was feeling back then. I feel I missed many exciting things being off in the freaking clouds somewhere. 

In my earlier years, it was more about romance/affection for me, I didn't feel that incessant URGE but once or twice a week, but when I did .... I WANTED it & he knew it !  If he went too fast , I would grab him and make him do it again :whip: -no , I am just kidding -but I wanted MINE.... he was good for gettin' it back up & going another 
round. (those days are gone). Loved those orgasms-- ALWAYS. No more heavenly RUSH God has given us to enjoy with someone we love. 

But still...I had made comments to him & his guy friends on occasion...."all you men do is think about SEX!". It seemed to be the Prevaling topic anytime these guys gathered, even luring me into it -where I was just not as interested BACK THEN, I would have rather talked about theology (what was wrong with me!??) - he even used to joke I was like a "nun" on occassion. 

Then I hit 42... whatever damm was backed up in my being was let loose, enter Niagra Falls... I had a hormonal surge that took me over. I have some idea how/why this happened to me (men ought to try this for thier wives !).....

I took the time to make a Movie Maker video of just me & him (after doing one for son's Grad party). Anyway, all these pictures of us, memories rolling past , a flood of emotions - from teens to now, with a sappy mushy love song playing in the background ..... I sat there , moved, the tears just started flowing & flowing ....like ...."Oh my God, where did the TIME GO !! he looked so HOT back then" and I wanted to just grab that young man & go back in time and RELIVE every moment. ....so this immediately threw me into a Mid Life Crisis- even my husband says ....it started THEN. 

I swear it was ALL SEXUAL in nature, cause I feel this is where we missed it the most, as I had been taking him for granted- in these areas-just a giving of myself to him. 

I went from wanting it once a week to 3 times a DAY, major overdrive. He didn't know what hit him, but he was liking it ....then he couldn't keep up....this is so :rofl: looking back, I off & sent him to the Encronologist to see what was wrong with him ! Learned his Test was on the lower end of NORMAL, Doc scared the daylights out of me saying his #'s were normal for men in their 60's ! This played on my mind so bad, I was convinced he is an "old man" now, we missed it , I just got started and he is finished, all dried up, since higher TEST = more LUST. Yes, I let pessimism get the best of me sometimes during this. 

I wanted his LUST more than his LOVE during this time, I was the one needing the FIX. I caused more arguments in the past couple years over sex than he has in 19 yrs , not that this is saying much cause he never caused any -even though he SHOULD HAVE, feeling the way I was. My husband has the patience of "Job". 

I started working it up in my mind that I have to be some kind of "BURDEN".... I did NOT like the fact I was more HORNY than my husband. Infact I hated it!  I guess I was finally getting what I deserved. I got a real taste of what the emotional turmoil of how men must feel when their wives don't want them. It made me very emotional, I felt Needy, and burdensome -- even though it was still "all in my head". I am still a woman, we tend to work things up that are not really there at times. 

In reality, he loved that neediness and has been wanting that our whole marraige. Since he had already walked in my shoes, he wouldn't want me to suffer. Love this man for that -he is my hero ! 

Once I told him How burdensome I felt, he says ..."Sex a burden, are you crazy woman !?"- he always made me feel better, but darn it , I even caused him performance pressure, then I worried....is it his TEST getting worse... is it cause he doesn't really want me, or is his MIND overworking. Sometimes he was probably just too tired. Poor man. 

Then I would get all emotional wishing we was YOUNG again as none of this would be happening. What a crazy time it was. I devoured sex books like candy, I learned how to SEDUCE him in such a way, verbally flirting to get him where he needed to be (off his erection) -so we could ride it out to the banging finish. 

We learned SO MUCH about ourselves during all of his craziness... what a blessing it has been. Also that he DOES LOVE SEX, He would tell me he would do it like bunny rabbits a few times a day if he could, so long as he can get it up-he WANTS to use it. So enter Viagra & Some Stiff Nights. We were having a good time. He would tell me ..."Your pleasure IS my Pleasure" -and he meant it. 


No, I love horny men! I am a worse horn dog than many men, that whole "cougar" thing, I am a walking living breathing example of how strong that can get. But of coarse, keeping it all at HOME. I used to joke with him I could have taken on 3 men during that time. I am glad he has a sense of humor & didn't take these things -like I wanted anyone else. 

That HIGH lasted for me for 8 months straight (I kept a calendar) , I am forever changed....now it is more about the "emotional connection" that "drives" our intimacy these days, we are seriously on the same wavelength with each other and have amazingly kept the same pace as when I was in overdrive. I am much more CALM now too. Kinda like a male dog that has been neutured. Geeze, that sounds bad. 

Looking back at this , I can see my HANG UP was like MOST YOUNGER MEN......I wanted his LUST the way I was feeling LUST -that enthusiatic creativity to devour -- but he was still driven by the emotional connection-as an older man with declining Test, this happens, there was little inbetween time to build that raging lust. The emotional response is slower, more sensual, more love driven. 

Took me awhile to see this, and make peace with this fact. I think most women are driven by that ...ME I have definitely experienced BOTH SIDES of this ...why I understand all of you Male Sex Junkies out there !


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