# I have trust issues



## imawimp (Mar 1, 2012)

Well here's my story. My beautiful loving wife of many years las t January went out with the "girls" for a night out. no problem, no big deal, have a good time, we usually text anyway because I went out myself. Long story short, texted around midnight , no response. I had ATT family map on our phone for the kids so I plugged her phone in and it showed somewhere a few miles away. Fell asleep, she came home around 2am. She said that she was just down the street at a bar with one of her gf's. My sixth sense was up and found out you can check the text messages and found out she texted this one number around 30 times or so and called it around midnight or so. Called the number myself and found out it was a guy 20 yrs younger to boot. Confronted her and she said it was nothing, just flirting. Fast forward to the summer and went through her phone and saw that she had tryed to sext naked pics of her to the same person. Told her what was she was doing was dissrespectful and to stop it. Fast forward to recently and found another pre-paid phone and she said it was old and not to worry. She forgot about it and I found sext messages from him to her that she obviously forgot to erase. I feel like an idiot, any man with any guts or brains would have told this women to go pound salt. She btw denies she has ever slept with him. Just when you think youre growing old together and life just kicks you in the gut.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Sorry to hear this has happened to you. How can you ever trust someone like this? You have plain proof of cheating and whether or not it got PA (likely did), it is still cheating on you.

180 and move forward.


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## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

Mate it is really tough on you at this time, how old are you i am going through divorce and i am 46 been with stbxw 15 years and this is so painful for me. I think when your older you tend to panic and stress a little more than if your younger. You know in your heart what is acceptable and not acceptable for me the pain sas in the disbelief (has she gone mad) and i kept a hold on this for too long . I am still thinking it now but i like you have to accept that they do things we would never do and thats hurtful. My wife lost A lot of respect for me the more I gave her the benefit of the doubt and she used my doubt to her advantage. Only you have the answers to what is acceptable for you. Hope you are ok we will get through this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## imawimp (Mar 1, 2012)

Thanks all, Im 48. She is unstable from my point of view and my children's, 2 children 11 and 15. The older one and her fight constanty. She would like it nothing more if I left and took the older child but I won't do that to the younger one. Trying to save this marriage is getting harder and harder.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What's your POA? 

Do you want to stay married or not? Has she ended contact with these guys? Still have the pre paid phone(s)?


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## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

Whoa jelly,
Its very hard to make that decision for someone in love you know that, its not about manning up , avin balls and all that macho bull its a life changing decision that needs to be thought through. Mate you take your time you will get the answers you need to bear in the end ( not from your wife though) could you not have both kids I kept both dogs cos she wanted different things before i told her to leave. Your no wimp mate no wimp would go through your pain and stick around for the sake of the rest of their family( respect) you will make the right decision in your time and for all three of you. I wish you lick amigo
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

She must be Olympic-class in the sack for you to swallow this load of horsesh^t. She's not even trying not to get caught at this point.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

hurtinme said:


> Whoa jelly,
> Its very hard to make that decision for someone in love you know that, its not about manning up , avin balls and all that macho bull its a life changing decision that needs to be thought through. Mate you take your time you will get the answers you need to bear in the end ( not from your wife though)


HUH? I asked him a legitimate questions:

WHAT does he want to do? Cause it's important.
IF she had ended all contact with the OM(s). Cause it's important.
IF she still has her pre-paid phones. Cause it's important.

Nobody said for him to make a decision to divorce immediately. I simply asked questions to gauge where his head is at. And hers.

Sheesh.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

hurtinme said:


> Whoa jelly,
> Its very hard to make that decision for someone in love you know that, its not about manning up , avin balls and all that macho bull its a life changing decision that needs to be thought through. Mate you take your time you will get the answers you need to bear in the end ( not from your wife though)


HUH? I asked him legitimate questions:

WHAT does he want to do? Cause it's important.
IF she had ended all contact with the OM(s). Cause it's important.
IF she still has her pre-paid phones. Cause it's important.

Nobody said for him to make a decision to divorce immediately. I simply asked questions to gauge where his head is at. And hers.

Sheesh.


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## hurtinme (Feb 16, 2012)

Ooops sorry jelly
I wernt avin a go but your post seemed quite sharp he obviously doesnt know if he wants to stay with his wife but he wants to stay married. I am in a similar position I love my wife and want to stay married but I am romanticising I am still in love with the person of old times. She looks the same so it confuses me and i imagine he having them moments also. The other questions I will let you off with in fact if you want an apology then your gonna have to ask lol 

Sheessh
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Asking questions isn't "sharp." They are just that--questions.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

No matter if someones spouse cheated, if a person wants to save a marriage I am all for it. The one thing I have learned in this maritial education of a year is that people are generally happier if they can make it work later on. Both decisions are a challenge and bring heartache, but Divorce seems to have worse results on everyone involved especially on kids.


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