# Ever go to clubs/bars together?



## HappyAfter10 (Aug 18, 2015)

Hi All,
I'd appreciate some advice. 

My husband wants to start going out more together, and I am totally on board, however he wants to try going to come clubs/bars. You know, places with loud music and dancing.

Totally not mu cup of tea, but its been ages since I've gone to that sort of place so, I'll give it a go.

I guess my question is do any of you ever go doing this sort of thing? I have no idea how to act, I'm awkward af. I'm more of a campfire sing a long, or drunken board games girl.

Halp!

Also awkward and self consious dancer.


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## McDean (Jun 13, 2015)

At least give it a shot and see how it goes. You never know you may like it or he may not!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Wow, your husband wants to go dancing and you don't?

Have you always been a camp fire kind of girl?


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Wow, your husband wants to go dancing and you don't?
> 
> Have you always been a camp fire kind of girl?


I thought the same thing.....

Maybe someone told your H to do this, thinking it is something you would want?


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## thread the needle (May 4, 2015)

HappyAfter10 said:


> awkward and self consious dancer


Take dancing lessons together. Much more meaningful and addresses your growth and confidence head on. You will be proud f your accomplishments along the way. The memories will last a lifetime how you opened up a new chapter together that is more interesting than the unoriginal drunken bar fly that offers nothing but awkward feelings. 

Or take dancing lessons alone for confidence and learn to dance like nobody's watching. Get lost in the groove.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

my wife and i go often enough for it to be a thing...
whenever i am away on business and she visits me(not always possible, but still) our favorite thing to do is get a cab, find the nearest bar with decent billards tables and decent music, and have a nice night out. we often chat up the waitresses or other bar goers, and then get a cab and go back to the hotel. 

we have actually met quite a few of our friends that way... 

anyway, my wife and i can both be a bit awkward at first. but, i find that simply stating as much to people we talk to seems to help with that quite a bit. 


now, as a guy, i will say this... if you are female, nobody really cares how you dance. men arent going to pay attention to your skills, and women are probably going to be paying attention to your dress and your man, if they pay attention at all. 

besides, if someone says something and you have had a few drinks, you can always blame it on the alcohol.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

My husband takes me dancing a lot but it's something that I've always loved doing. He met me at a party in college where I was shaking my rump to a disco cover band so it's not something I just dropped on him a few years ago. He fell in love with the dancing fool and that's still who I am 20+ years later. 

Did your husband go to these types of places before meeting you or is this something new for him? Maybe he's just interested in trying something a bit out of the norm for the two of you. 

We see married couples listening to bands play at bars or dancing in clubs regularly. The key is to stay out of the places that attract the 'kids'. Look for higher end places that cater to the 30+ crowd.


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## helenbean (Aug 13, 2015)

Hubby and I did do some country western dancing in clubs. My ex-husband was not a dancer and I was married to him for 24 years so I barely know how to dance. I feel kind of uncomfortable in clubs. All those people drinking and I don't drink.


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## HappyAfter10 (Aug 18, 2015)

To give some more background - yes I have always been more of a campfire girl. And he loves the campfire too! We do that all the time with my sisters. We have had some pretty fun and crazy nights too!

He just wants to try something new, and maybe make a few friends doing it. Neither of us has done this sort of entertainment much, but he has a tiny bit more than me, guys nights out and that sort of thing. The thing is we hang out almost exclusively with family, and I think he wants to branch out a bit, and maybe make friends we can be a little wilder with, on occasion.

I am totally willing to give it a go! I'm just prepared to feel awkward at times. Thats ok, I'm just that sort of person.

The thing is we are bad for neglecting ourselves and are making a conscious effort to avoid that. We have only gotten a baby sitter a few times before. This is also something we will start doing. Usually our kids just come with us to family parties.

Time is not easy to come by, as I operate as a single mom due to his work schedule (two weeks away one week home), but whoever said dance lessons had a good idea. I think there might be a place that has a drop in night. 

I'm researching local clubs and bars online, mostly because I don't know who to ask locally. LOL we lived in Toronto when we used to go out, years ago, so neither of us knows any local clubs!

I expect I will have to ply myself with alcohol to loosen up. I think I can manage it


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I would go to a "bar" (i.e. pub) and not a "club." There's definitely a difference where I come from. I love going to a bar/pub and listening to a live band and getting up and dancing if the mood is right. But a club??? No, not since college.

I'm not one to just get up and love to dance at any time, either. A few drinks, and if everyone else is? Sure, I like it.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Definitely give it a go! We do more campfires than bars or clubs but we enjoy them all. We recently went to see a friend of mine who plays in a band at a bar near us and had a blast because some others that we knew were there also. 

You can even combine campfires with a bar like scene. We go camping a at a place where they get live bands at a climbing school. We dance meet people and listen to good music and enjoy the outdoors and retire to a campfire and the stars.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

My husband and I met in our clubbing years. Been there, done that, got the tshirt. For us, there's no appeal with clubs anymore. My preference is to dance at home in the living room, comfy pajamas included. If dancing in the club, embrace the awkward. My husband and I have even had 'dance-offs' for who has the worst moves. Sometimes it's fun to just be goofy. Most people aren't paying attention anyway. 

On occasion we'll go to a pub together. Not to get wild or meet new people but to find a quiet spot and relax together with a pint of dark ale and glass of red. Or catchup with friends over a pub meal. As for meeting others, a few years ago, we moved to a new city, and decided to try out a meetup group. There was another couple there who we conversed and laughed easily with. That same evening, after the meetup, the four of us went for a meal and drinks. They introduced us to sake bombs. Oh boy! We ended up becoming good friends from that night. 


Enjoy trying out some new things together. Have fun!


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

IMO, He wants to give you a reason to dress up and look saucy.


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## HappyAfter10 (Aug 18, 2015)

dubsey said:


> IMO, He wants to give you a reason to dress up and look saucy.


You know, that may be part of it. There us usually not much occasion to dress anything dressier than casual.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I would go to a "bar" (i.e. pub) and not a "club." There's definitely a difference where I come from. I love going to a bar/pub and listening to a live band and getting up and dancing if the mood is right. But a club??? No, not since college.
> 
> I'm not one to just get up and love to dance at any time, either. A few drinks, and if everyone else is? Sure, I like it.


^ I totally agree with this. 

I would never want to go clubbing. It's not my cup of tea and have absolutely no desire to step inside a place like that. On the other hand, a bar/pub can be fun. I would be up for that and could enjoy that. I would look up those places and offer those, but no to the clubs.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Your husband likes spending time with you.
You won.
Read all the stories about being ignored here.

Do it.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

I wonder if the OP realizes just how many women will read her post and think, "I sure wish MY HUSBAND would do that."


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## HappyAfter10 (Aug 18, 2015)

I certainly hope I didn't give the impression I am complaining, because that is totally not the case. Trust me, you guys don't know the half of how lucky I am 

I am simply awkward as hell, and looking for other peoples input on a social situation I am not used to. I'm all for trying something new, or something I have not done in a long long time.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

HappyAfter10 said:


> I certainly hope I didn't give the impression I am complaining, because that is totally not the case. Trust me, you guys don't know the half of how lucky I am
> 
> *I am simply awkward as hell, *and looking for other peoples input on a social situation I am not used to. I'm all for trying something new, or something I have not done in a long long time.


lol awwwww . I'm sure it's not as bad as you think!


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## HappyAfter10 (Aug 18, 2015)

Lol sweet of you to say 

I have learned how to hold my own and make conversation, but the club/bar scene is one I have never experienced much. Another learning curve I guess.

Its funny, often times women are the chatty ones, its the opposite with us.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

HappyAfter10 said:


> Lol sweet of you to say
> 
> I have learned how to hold my own and make conversation, but the club/bar scene is one I have never experienced much. Another learning curve I guess.
> 
> Its funny, often times women are the chatty ones, its the opposite with us.


Definitely start with a pub/bar. Hopefully he will compromise on that! Seek out a night when a live band is playing and a place that at least has tables to sit at.

You sound like someone I'd love to hang out with!


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## LainyLove22 (Aug 22, 2015)

I wouldn't mind a night out occasionally with loud ass music , cigarette smoke and tipsy dancing ...... all to escape the reality of being a working mother of 2 children and also a housewife.

The thing is that my SO is a little more than a decade older than an I am and he's is sooo over this kind of scene. 

As a compromise we may head out to a much more sedate bar or lounge for drinks which is not the same nevertheless a night out together.


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