# H takes secreately pics of me



## Wally79 (Oct 14, 2015)

Hi there,
I hope someone can give me an advise. ( English is my second language so I apologize now for the grammar)
I've being married for 15 years and have 2 kids.

3 years ago I found out that my husband was taking pics and video of me and my legs while sleeping. I would wake up from the flash of his phone and he would denies. At one point I think he was drug me too at night time. 
Recently I was having a dream of being raped and sure enough when I woke up he was touching my vagina. I started crying and as usual he apologized saying that he loves me and will never do things to jeopardize our family.... Yeah right...
Four days ago I woke up again from the flash and went crazy.... Right now we are not speaking to each other. Apologized again but this time I won't accept them.
Our sex life is very boring and he can't even finish, no matter what we do.
I'm seriously thinking about the divorce but we are building our house with the in laws apartment for his parents. They are wonderful people.
I feel stuck in a hole. I don't have family here except an older aunt and uncle. I don't even know where to go....

How can I trust him ever again???

Thanks for reading this 😔


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Wow.. he's really crossed a line, hasn't he?

Have the two of you sat down and talked about this in depth?

What is he doing with the pictures and video?

Does he watch a lot of porn?


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## Wally79 (Oct 14, 2015)

I tried to go deep but he just says that he loves me. Suppose he deletes the pics but I can say it's true.... I think he uses it to masturbate and I'm sure he watches porn


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you want to save your marriage, I suggest that you ask him to go to counseling with you. Make sure it's a marriage counselor who is also a sex therapist. If he refuses, tell him that he will divorce him if he does not go to counseling with you for 1 year (at least).

My bet is that he's watching porn. A lot of porn. And he's gotten to the point where sex with a live woman no longer does it for him. There is only one cure for that. He has to stop the pictures and stop watching porn.

Tell him that he also has to give you all the pictures so you can destroy them.

A sex therapist can give him instructions on how to stop the porn use and get back his ability to have complete sex with you. He will be a much happier man, and you will a much happier wife.

Here is a website for you to read...

» Porn Changes the Brain

.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

He needs to see a psychologist. Something isn't right in his head. He touches you in your sleep, takes pics and videos of you, masterbates to porn. But yet can't get to completion with you.

He needs to get his head on straight and to the bottom of his issues. 

No, hold off on additions to the home. and in law apartments until he has seen the counselor.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

You said it has been 15 years and 2 kids. At some point were things good and this is a new development? or has it always been this way?


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## Wally79 (Oct 14, 2015)

We are building the house right now. We are renting in the meantime. 
Our relationship was always up and down, mostly because I don't feel like he's a partner to me. When I talk about my feelings he just says irrelevant things... 
He thinks that because we are economically stable, we shouldn't have any problems. But I been telling him that we are disconnected and we just live together instead to be each other soulmate.
I think I'm tired to pull words out his mouth all the time so that we can have a conversation. 
I'll try to suggest counseling.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Is it possible it's some sort of fetish? Has he ever tried to initiate sex after you catch him taking pictures? 

Personally I think he's a creeper, I would bet you $100 he's posting those pictures someplace. It's absolutely wrong for him to photograph you without your permission. Buy a lock box, put his phone in it at night and make sure only you have the key. And start wearing granny panties to bed!

And I hate to say this or even think this but if his brain has gone into pervert mode and you have daughters I would be very concerned, with both your daughters and any friends they have sleep over. He has already proven he doesn't understand boundaries, I wouldn't trust him.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I don't know. If given a choice and it was seeing a naked lady next to me or a picture of a her naked, I would go with the first............................but then at my age, 68, it wouldn't do much good LOL


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## mmcm3333 (Sep 12, 2015)

The trust and safety you should have in a marriage have been violated. He has crossed too many lines. In all honestly, I'd sleep in another room with the door locked until you were in counseling and issues were being actively resolved. If you fear for your safety, leave- do whatever you have to. Where are your parents or other family members? Would the older aunt/uncle take you in- do you have family elsewhere you can go to (even if they're out-of-state)?

How old are your children?


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## strictlike (Oct 19, 2015)

I tried to go deep but he just says that he loves me.


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## Wally79 (Oct 14, 2015)

Unfortunately my family lives in a different country and my aunt already has her divorced son and granddaughter living with her.
I'm just too hurt right now to make a decision. I feel hopeless and lonely 😞
I came from a broken family and all I ever wanted was to have a happy home. I guess that's not my destiny.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

I wonder if he is trading the pictures of you online with other men who do the same things.

If he isn't comfortable enough with you to be able to finish something has changed in how he perceives you.

Proxyamory?


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Seriously, I would install a hidden video recorder and find out WTF is going on.

My guess is he has a fetish that he feels is shameful and won't admit it.

There are many fetishes involving these sorts of behaviors - think about the guys with hidden cameras in their shoes or cases taking upskirt pictures of unsuspecting women - I've seen this in the news.

I suppose he could get turned on by the fantasy of taking advantage of someone asleep or drunk. I've run across lots of this porn in my decades of surfing the net - never found it arousing but obviously a lot of people do.

So a hidden camera and VAR maybe in his car or office. Maybe he's sharing this stuff or who knows what.

Also he obviously doesn't know how to communicate with you and probably vice versa - that should be addressed in counseling . 

Btw a good sex therapist probably wouldn't judge a particular fetish but would point out the need for honesty and your consent.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Take away his iPhone and buy him one of these.


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## Wally79 (Oct 14, 2015)

Thanks everybody for their advises. I wouldn't even know how to install a camera... Tech is not my forte.
But I'm also worried that he's posting this pics online for more weirdos to see . Could I hire a private investigator to find out? So embarrassing 😞
I'm too overwhelmed


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## sixbravebulls (Aug 18, 2015)

Yeah I've worked on sex crimes investigations and he sounds like he's posting the pictures somewhere. I've seen suspects drug their own wives and girlfriends too. It's a power thing. He likely has some SERIOUS Mommy issues. He's dangerous. You better get out of there and take the kids. Never leave him around children.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Wally79 said:


> Thanks everybody for their advises. I wouldn't even know how to install a camera... Tech is not my forte.
> But I'm also worried that he's posting this pics online for more weirdos to see . Could I hire a private investigator to find out? So embarrassing 😞
> I'm too overwhelmed


I would start with a keylogger for sure.
Same gathering evidence procedures as is you suspected another woman was involved.


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