# tomorrow meeting with lawyer and GUILT is stopping me



## alienatedandalonewith3 (Aug 9, 2011)

if you read my last few post,me and husband have been having some hard times
he walked out friday after i refused him sex,because i was sick and sleep,
he left and said he would get it from someone who does like him
he came home the next day and then threatened it wasnt the last time it would happen if i didnt start acting right
and that it was my fault i forced him todo it
we have hardly talk to each other and when we do he screams and yells at me
so why would i want to have sex?

ive been in contact with a lawyer since june,ive been getting my money together i now have it!

but the guilt for my children are holding me back
he refuses divorce because ill be taking everything from him that he worked for (his words)
he wont go to counslin because they told him he was ocd and controlling and could only see in black and white
now he refuses and says if i would just straighten up and act right everything would be fine

before last weekend things have been insane
over the last year he stopped saying he loved me because he said after 10 years he doesnt need to say it he shows it by working and providing for us

he no longer wants to kiss no reason he says he just doesnt like it anymore
we have been married 10 years
we have 3 kids
my youngest has special needs (autism,sm,and social anxiety)
she is a daddy girl he completly ignores my other kids when he comes home and completly smothers my youngest
to the point he holds her back from progressing

im so torn on what todo
im tired of always being wrong and never having my own opinions and feelings with out his input
he is just crazy
he tells us we like what he likes and we eat what he eats

he use to compliment my food and love the left overs for work
but now he **tchs he has to take left overs and he goes to work while i stay at home with the children
this has been the same for 12 years this is what we chose when we got married that i would be a stay at home mom
now that my youngest is in school getting her services he suddenly has a problem with everything
i offered to go back to work but he doesnt want that

i feel like i know what i should do but the guilt is eating me,to the point i want to cancel my appointment
but then i feel guilt cause my friend took the day off to go to my appointment and support me

all my friends say i should leave that hes crazy,but im scared of the unknown and im scared of losing my house and uproaring my kids

my husband makes 70,000 a year,before we were married i made 12,000.
i cant even pay my house payment on that kind of pay

so confussed and guilty


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## loveiswhereiamnot (Jul 8, 2011)

Meeting with a lawyer does not commit you to filing anything or doing anything. You go, find out your options, what the process would be, child support. Then you will know reality.

Living simply with your children isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. LIving with someone who tells you all the time you are the broken person and if you would just fix yourself, all would be well is mental abuse. I lived like that for a while before I realized I didn't care about the money or where I lived.


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## Ticonderoga (Jul 21, 2011)

Going to a lawyer is just letting you know your options if you divorce. Doesn't sound like hubby is willing to change which is a deal breaker. Is the house under water or do you have equity in it ??


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## alienatedandalonewith3 (Aug 9, 2011)

We do have a little equity in the home we have only been. Here 6 years
I know I'm not locked into anything with lawyer
But this will be my secound visit,and I will be giving him my fianancial forms and money
I'm sure this is what I need todo but I'm still nervous and feeling sick about everything


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## Ticonderoga (Jul 21, 2011)

Hope it went smoothly for you today.


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