# Physically Ill



## Wingsoflove (Jul 7, 2011)

I have a autoimmune disease and stress makes everything so much worse. The knowledge that I've hurt him, how he doesnt want to be with me but he still loves me. But ever since everything I have been in physical pain, just a state of numbness. Its a rather sh~tty feeling!

Today I went over to get some of my things from where we were living. I saw how all of our pictures were taken down, how everything was different. I got so nauseous that I wanted to throw up. I had to sit down and breathe. I dont think I can ever forgive myself. I hate this! I wish I never did any of this! Sorry just kinda venting.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Spread the news. If you ever find someone in your life live right by them. 
If you ever encounter a friend or acquaintance doing this to their marriage, share your experience.

Its hard to be nonjudgemental because I was on the receiving end of the effects of an affair, and concurrently a divorce. And my little girl is so attached to me, because her mom is not an affectionate or involved woman to any noticeable degree, so I feel like ive been shoved away from her, and I know as soon as I move out her little heart is going to be so broken. Plus, it puts ME in the position of being the one abandoning the family, abandoning her. All to keep Mommys good name safe in her eyes.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

talk to your neurologist about anti-anxiety meds, you need them for your health


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Can you see your doctor to get some medication? You are going to go through an insane wave of emotions in the next couple of months or longer. Anxiety, depression, panic, sadness, anger, etc.


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

Wings, how are you getting along?


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## ArabianKnight (Jul 24, 2011)

adopt several cats 2 or 3 they will cheer you up and remove some depression and axiety.


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## Wingsoflove (Jul 7, 2011)

@MrQuatto I'm surviving. I'm doing MC, yes MC. I went to see what else I could do to help mend my marriage and I want to learn why I made my mistakes and how to prevent them. I've gone a couple of times by myself and today my husband came with me too. I invited him to come along if he wanted, I didn't force him or push him to go. So it felt GREAT to have him go with me on his own accord. I've been reading, doing research on affairs to stop myself from falling into the same patterns of my old life. I am trying to fight my demons of my past and present, instead of pushing them under the rug as I used to. 
I feel like I'm making some progress on life, its a small step but I have time to grow. I'm giving my husband time and space to think about himself, life and marriage, whether the latter of the 3 involve me or not, I know I will be here for him. I will be his support system. I want to really give my all to my husband, to my marriage, to life. I know that I will never forget what happened, I know that I may never fully forgive myself for the pain I have caused him. I will have to work for a long, long time to forgive myself. I hope one day he'll forgive me, that he'll find true happiness with or without me. He deserves that. But I am looking at life and everything in it positively. I will fight for what I love, but if it makes him unhappy to be with me, I will let him go. Be free of the heartache that I've caused. but to answer your question: I'm doing the best I can. I'm being positive and trying to better myself by fixing my faults, weaknesses and hopefully putting a fresh start to a happier, healthier, stronger marriage.


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## Wingsoflove (Jul 7, 2011)

ArabianKnight said:


> adopt several cats 2 or 3 they will cheer you up and remove some depression and axiety.


I've already 2 kitties, and they are the best!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Wingsoflove said:


> @MrQuatto I'm surviving. I'm doing MC, yes MC. I went to see what else I could do to help mend my marriage and I want to learn why I made my mistakes and how to prevent them. I've gone a couple of times by myself and today my husband came with me too. I invited him to come along if he wanted, I didn't force him or push him to go. So it felt GREAT to have him go with me on his own accord. I've been reading, doing research on affairs to stop myself from falling into the same patterns of my old life. I am trying to fight my demons of my past and present, instead of pushing them under the rug as I used to.
> I feel like I'm making some progress on life, its a small step but I have time to grow. I'm giving my husband time and space to think about himself, life and marriage, whether the latter of the 3 involve me or not, I know I will be here for him. I will be his support system. I want to really give my all to my husband, to my marriage, to life. I know that I will never forget what happened, I know that I may never fully forgive myself for the pain I have caused him. I will have to work for a long, long time to forgive myself. I hope one day he'll forgive me, that he'll find true happiness with or without me. He deserves that. But I am looking at life and everything in it positively. I will fight for what I love, but if it makes him unhappy to be with me, I will let him go. Be free of the heartache that I've caused. but to answer your question: I'm doing the best I can. I'm being positive and trying to better myself by fixing my faults, weaknesses and hopefully putting a fresh start to a happier, healthier, stronger marriage.


At a girl. These are precisely the actions that show that you truly mean what you say and say what you mean. For no matter what happens to your marriage, you will come out a healthy and happy woman who will make a wonderful wife. Hopefully it will be with your present husband. Best of luck.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Wings, you sound like you're in a much better place. That is great you went to MC and respect whatever your husband decides is best for him.

You should do IC as well.


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Wings, you sound like you're in a much better place. That is great you went to MC and respect whatever your husband decides is best for him.
> 
> You should do IC as well.


:iagree:

All very positive steps in the right direction. I commend you for having the courage to endure this. Many folks would walk away from any possible hope. Only through very hard work and constant vigilance over a long period can there ever be a hope of recovery.

Keep your chin up Wings. Full Steam Ahead!

q~


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## Duddy (Apr 29, 2011)

Wingsoflove, good for you! It is so refreshing to hear such honesty and such genuine commitment to really be there for your husband! 

If you're husband's willing to try, I know you can build a marriage that is stronger, healthier and more resilient than it ever was! 

I agree with the suggestion for individual counseling. CBT might be very effective in helping you manage your anxiety levels and physical symptoms, over just a few sessions. 

Cognitive behavioral therapy - MayoClinic.com

Please keep us posted on your progress! Sounds like sharing your experience might really help others (and their families etc) going through the same issues too.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

I am impressed. It shows a lot of guts coming on here and admitting everything. It does look like you are going in the right direction. Now, if you could just play a pipe like the pied piper and have all of the other WW's follow in your footsteps. . .


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Agreed. Kudos to you for walking the walk. It's incredibly brave.


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