# Feeling guilty? wanting to get back? Help.



## capacity83 (Feb 13, 2011)

Hi peeps,

Posted a few threads here regarding my story. Just to give u a brief intro, My wife has left me and ive moved out 2 months ago. About 1.5 months ago, i did the 180 no contact rule. We have a 4 yr old son together but i didnt give her my new contact number. She still has my email and contacts my dad to sort out our child's issues. We are currently sharing custody, alternating by week. Shes young, 22, im 27. We were together since i was 21 and she 17. So yeh.. i was her first love and she now loves clubbing and hanging "out with her friends". Popularity etc.. shes a very attractive and prettty woman.

Now.. the funny thing was she told me she didnt love me towards the end of the relationship and that she would never regret it. However, after 1.5 months of no contact whatsoever, she started asking some of my frens whether they hated her the club she normally hangs out at. She would cry and sob and say thrs noone else in her life and is NOT seeing anyone. 


Then two days ago, my sister went to the club she always hangs out at. The thing is, i thought she hated both my sister and me. Surprisingly she approached my sister, saying shes sorry and that she knows that my family treated her like a princess. Started saying she hasnt been happy for the last while and crying about it. My sister thought she said "she still loves me" but it was too loud so she could have heard wrong. She also asked my sister to call her out to have dinner etc etc. For all this while, since Early febuary while we were having problems, she never contacted my sister to talk at all. She blamed my sister for hitting her in a "drunk" situation in which she was the cause of it. And now this? im so confused. What does she want from us??? ive recently got close with a girl so could this be the reason perhaps the fear of losing me for good? i mean pics of me and the girl on FB can be seen by the ex-wife's frens (although i deleted her). 


So what should i do in this case? the thing i know not to do is initate getting back because she has hurt me so bad that there is so much resentment towards her at the moment. She hasnt contacted me yet but some of my frens are saying in time, she will come crawling back begging. im not sure about this. 
I mean i still have feelings for her and the only reason for me to get back with her is for our son. 

Thoughts?


----------



## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Love can grow back. She very well might come back. There is probably a good chance, but she chose to see if the grass was greener in the single club life. Its not. 

If she does come back, ask for MC.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If or when she comes back make it very clear to her that it is on your terms.
You have alot to consider;
Will you get her passwords for cell,labtop, and social sites?
Will she except the fact that she needs to give up her privacy?
Can she give her self back and be accountable for her were abouts?
Can she answer to you like a 12 year old child?

You will need these things in order to heal, so please put them on the table so that you don't get the " if I know you wanted me to do that, I wouldn't have come back " kind of thing. 

My favorite is ' Your not my father " so the both of you need to be prepared if she wants back. As for you and your healing you will have to except the fact that you will become a member of the cheater police....if you know what I mean?


----------

