# How could I have been so stupid?



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Let's recap, my wife dropped the "I love you but not in love with you" on Dec 12th, 2011. She told me that for about six months to a year she had been going back and forth wrestling with this decision. Went to counseling to try to get guidance, even once sent me a text message about a month before she dropped the divorce bomb that she wanted to be with me, love me forever, etc. 

Now looking back at this last year I should've seen the red flags.
- Dropped 65 lbs over the last year
- Increased sex life with me, willing to try new things, increased frequency, wearing outfits
- Going tanning 
- Getting her kibbles and bits waxed
- when coming to visit me at work with the kids making sure she was all dolled up
- Going out more with her married girlfriends, staying out later

I just thought that she wanted to be more explorative in our relationship. Last Saturday I discovered evidence of an EA. I know that she didn't have a PA while we were still married, but it makes me wonder if she was thinking of things before she actually started the EA.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

maybe she was looking for extra attention from you and you, like i, didnt deliver?


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I gave her attention all the time, maybe too much. I remember telling her that she looked amazing, beautiful, sexy and she would tell me "You have to say that, your my husband." I would always do small little tokens of affection, etc.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> I gave her attention all the time, maybe too much. I remember telling her that she looked amazing, beautiful, sexy and she would tell me "You have to say that, your my husband." I would always do small little tokens of affection, etc.


sometimes we as men think we give plenty of attention when in their reality, not nearly enough.

also doing things to let them know you think they are attractive and sexy.

maybe her quote to you says it wasnt enough or feel real.

just some suggestions from what happened to me.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I tried doing that, I would send her sexy FB messages, type up a bucket list of "fun" things that we could do.


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