# Did i deserve this?



## Timgo (Feb 27, 2018)

The wife wakes me up at 3am asking if she can buy a mattress she sees on line thats discounted, and i say no. We were saving up for a really nice mattress like a tempurpedic is the reason i said no. So immediately she goes to telling me she cant wait untill i die, "i hope you die on your way to work tomaro". So I ignored it, then she taps me on the shoulder and says hey babe il let you buy a motorcycle now, that way you can die faster! Between this and my last post, and my previous ones about her calling the cops on me for rasing my voice then again for cutting the tv off twice after she cut it on, i dont know how much more of this i can take.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

Doormat.


Nuff said.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

You should go to the police and file a complain that your wife wants you to die. Why are you still married to a woman who is praying for you to die??????


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

1. Get the motorcycle.
2. Ride in any direction that doesn't return home.
3. Problem solved.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Why are you still there?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Timgo said:


> ... i dont know how much more of this i can take.


I think a better question to ask yourself is why the hell are you "taking" this crap at all ...


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Your wife abuses you. 

Physically, emotionally, verbally.

And it sounds like all you do is come back for more. Why do you let her treat you like this? Why did you marry her?

Its time to take action. File for divorce. Press charges on her for physical abuse. Do SOMETHING.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I would change your life insurance beneficiary asap.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Wow what a cruel horrible woman. WHY are you letting her treat you this way?


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## YourPleasure (Jun 23, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Wow what a cruel horrible woman. WHY are you letting her treat you this way?


Probably the same reason I do, to keep the peace. Keep everything straight and easy.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

YourPleasure said:


> Probably the same reason I do, to keep the peace. Keep everything straight and easy.


Then nothing will ever change. We can build up or tear down our marriages with our words. She is tearing down.


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## YourPleasure (Jun 23, 2018)

Not trying to hijack this thread, but I do understand where he is coming from. Sometimes just biting your tongue and not reacting to slights here and there is a safe method to getting some peace of mind. Like I said, not going to hijack his thread. I have my own, and I am at my ropes end with it too. 

That's why I found this forum you see....


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I mean maybe if you stay there while she abuses you. Maybe you don't deserve it but you shouldn't expect anything different right?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

@Tim to said: "i dont know how much more of this i can take."

Obviously, a lot more, and probably forever. So, why complain?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Timgo said:


> The wife wakes me up at 3am asking if she can buy a mattress she sees on line thats discounted, and i say no. We were saving up for a really nice mattress like a tempurpedic is the reason i said no. So immediately she goes to telling me she cant wait untill i die, "i hope you die on your way to work tomaro". So I ignored it, then she taps me on the shoulder and says hey babe il let you buy a motorcycle now, that way you can die faster! Between this and my last post, and my previous ones about her calling the cops on me for rasing my voice then again for cutting the tv off twice after she cut it on, i dont know how much more of this i can take.


*I wouldn't be accepting any cups of hot tea from her anytime soon!

You need to be off in an immediate planning session in your attorney's office!*


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Timgo said:


> The wife wakes me up at 3am asking if she can buy a mattress she sees on line thats discounted, and i say no. We were saving up for a really nice mattress like a tempurpedic is the reason i said no


Why is it your decision?

Seems like plenty of blame in both directions.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Ahhh, the old _'saving for a better mattress so i can enjoy sleeping with a witch'_ goal. Classic

I would quickly change your response to "no, I am saving enough for a divorce lawyer" and then actually do it.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Wonder if things might have been different if he responded "sure honey if that's what it takes for you to be happy, let's get you that mattress" as compared to "NO!".

Maybe she's not the whole problem here.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Horrible. Nuff said.
Side note, hows your sex life with her, how is she when you going out to dinner together or in a social atmosphere?

Also, some info supports shell be repetitively calling the cops on you for made up reasons to build her case to leave.

Sounds very disconcerting.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Wow, what a horrible thing for your wife to say. I would be having a sit-down with her and telling her point-blank that you won't tolerate being treated that way. I'm actually torn between this and just leaving, for safety's sake.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Timgo said:


> The wife wakes me up at 3am asking if she can buy a mattress she sees on line thats discounted, and i say no. We were saving up for a really nice mattress like a tempurpedic is the reason i said no. So immediately she goes to telling me she cant wait untill i die, "i hope you die on your way to work tomaro". So I ignored it, then she taps me on the shoulder and says hey babe il let you buy a motorcycle now, that way you can die faster! Between this and my last post, and my previous ones about her calling the cops on me for rasing my voice then again for cutting the tv off twice after she cut it on, *i dont know how much more of this i can take*.


Why would you?


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Trident said:


> Wonder if things might have been different if he responded "sure honey if that's what it takes for you to be happy, let's get you that mattress" as compared to "NO!".
> 
> Maybe she's not the whole problem here.


Is this a serious post? I am just wondering if I should be laughing or crying for you and your husband or wife?


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

I would have said it’s 1:00am leave me alone or ........... this is strange behavior. 


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

I read some of the back posts and it appears there's a lot of back and forth between them that's been escalating.

Try being more patient with her and give in to some of her easier requests and things may improve.


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## AKA Broken Arrow (Feb 19, 2016)

I almost died in my sleep in 2016. My wife saved me. Yours might not. Think about that.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

You have posted many time about your wife’s crazy behavior. When are you go to do something about it? I would be extremely worried about leaving your child with her. She isn’t acting rational in the least!


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

OK, anything said at 3 am is a "no."

Any follow on pestering about a mattress during normal sleeping hours is a "no."

A realistic agreeing to purchase, then budgeting for it could be done during normal waking hours.

If it can't? Then she doesn't want a mattress. 

Who researches mattress prices at 3 am?

And, if they truly researched mattresses then they'd know that there is nothing special about a 3 am search that cannot be done during normal waking hours. All that is achieved in annoyance.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

BluesPower said:


> Is this a serious post? I am just wondering if I should be laughing or crying for you and your husband or wife?


Sounds to me like they both dish it out. Maybe if one of them was willing to give in a bit and defuse the situation things would naturally improve.

I'm not married.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Try to think less in terms of what treatment you deserve and more in what you are willing to tolerate. If my wife wished me dead, I would be single.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Trident said:


> Sounds to me like they both dish it out. Maybe if one of them was willing to give in a bit and defuse the situation things would naturally improve.
> 
> I'm not married.


While you are welcome to post like anyone, you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about....


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## MyRevelation (Apr 12, 2016)

Trident said:


> I read some of the back posts and it appears there's a lot of back and forth between them that's been escalating.
> 
> Try being more patient with her and give in to some of her easier requests and things may improve.


You don't negotiate with terrorists!!!


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Sounds like they've had a serious breakdown in communication. She's saying hurtful things as a result of her frustration. 

Nothing worse than many couples go through. 

Some of you are reading his posts and taking them 100% as fact. If you read between the lines, and you pick up the subtleties (and there are many) you will realize you are reading one skewed part of a two part story. She hasn't told her half but if she did you just might not be so quick to call her a terrorist.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Trident said:


> Sounds like they've had a serious breakdown in communication. She's saying hurtful things as a result of her frustration.
> 
> Nothing worse than many couples go through.
> 
> Some of you are reading his posts and taking them 100% as fact. If you read between the lines, and you pick up the subtleties (and there are many) you will realize you are reading one skewed part of a two part story. She hasn't told her half but if she did you just might not be so quick to call her a terrorist.


And to think I gave you a "Like" on another thread.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Trident said:


> Wonder if things might have been different if he responded "sure honey if that's what it takes for you to be happy, let's get you that mattress" as compared to "NO!".
> 
> Maybe she's not the whole problem here.


Yeah, because sane, normal people wake their spouse up at 3am and say: "Hey! *I* know! Let's buy a mattress!"


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> Yeah, because sane, normal people wake their spouse up at 3am and say: "Hey! *I* know! Let's buy a mattress!"


I could see myself doing something like that. Probably not a mattress more like scuba diving gear.

I'm impulsive like that.

Regardless it doesn't make her a terrorist.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Trident said:


> I could see myself doing something like that. Probably not a mattress more like scuba diving gear.
> 
> I'm impulsive like that.
> 
> Regardless it doesn't make her a terrorist.


What's this terrorist **** you keep spouting?
It makes her, and apparently you, an inconsiderate douche canoe for waking anyone up in the wee hours so you can tell them what YOU want. How 'bout wait 'til breakfast.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Rubix Cubed said:


> What's this terrorist **** you keep spouting?
> It makes her, and apparently you, an inconsiderate douche canoe for waking anyone up in the wee hours so you can tell them what YOU want. How 'bout wait 'til breakfast.


Maybe she was excited about the new mattress? Maybe she couldn't sleep? It's a wee bit inconsiderate but it doesn't make her a terrible person.

I didn't spout anything about terrorists. Somebody else did. I said it *DOES NOT* make her the terrorist she's being made out to be.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I've missed jld.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> I've missed jld.


Me too.😭


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Trident said:


> Maybe she was excited about the new mattress? Maybe she couldn't sleep? It's a wee bit inconsiderate but it doesn't make her a terrible person.
> 
> I didn't spout anything about terrorists. Somebody else did. I said it *DOES NOT* make her the terrorist she's being made out to be.


No matter how excited....let's think about a sane person picking a time to discuss such a purchase....to be shooting for a rational discussion that may yield a positive result.....it wouldn't be 3:00am when SO is dead asleep.

If this is a pattern for W, something is seriously wrong with W.


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

Timgo said:


> The wife wakes me up at 3am asking if she can buy a mattress she sees on line thats discounted, and i say no. We were saving up for a really nice mattress like a tempurpedic is the reason i said no. So immediately she goes to telling me she cant wait untill i die, "i hope you die on your way to work tomaro". So I ignored it, then she taps me on the shoulder and says hey babe il let you buy a motorcycle now, that way you can die faster! Between this and my last post, and my previous ones about her calling the cops on me for rasing my voice then again for cutting the tv off twice after she cut it on, i dont know how much more of this i can take.


No you did not deserve this. Nobody ever "deserves" anything.

Some of the biggest unhappiness we ever experience is that, somehow, because we act or are a certain way, that we "deserve" something.

The way to live is the best you can.

What happens from others? If you don't like it, see if there are adjustments you can make to how you act around that person, minor ones, that will improve things. And if that doesn't work, leave.

What happens in the future? Depends on what you choose right now. If you choose to stay, you are sending the message that you are OK with things as they are.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Trident said:


> Maybe she was excited about the new mattress? Maybe she couldn't sleep? It's a wee bit inconsiderate but it doesn't make her a terrible person.
> 
> I didn't spout anything about terrorists. Somebody else did. I said it *DOES NOT* make her the terrorist she's being made out to be.


I'm not sure it's the mattress, but her wishing him dead over said mattress that makes her a terrible person.

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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> I've missed jld.


 Sounds familiar, does it not?


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