# Ex wife moving to Memphis to take job, leaving kids



## cavenger (Aug 26, 2012)

She has been out of work but she wants to only come back on the weekends and for me and my current wife to basically handle everything. I don't know what to do. Can't imagine my wife going for this.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I am not sure about the details but I would be a hard pressed mom to leave my kids. I don't know if there is anything for you to do.

I am assuming that she needs a job to cover her bills. She may be desperate at this time. She can't be homeless and have the kids stay with her so.....

Perhaps this will be temporary until she can find something closer? I guess you are going to be a mostly full time parent.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

They are YOUR children. That is the bottom line. New wife knew you had kids.... right? 

How about welcome them, make them comfortable, support them emotionally.... because it's going to SUCK for them knowing that mom ditched them. The reasons don't matter.... ditched is ditched. Be the stable parent...be someone they can grow up with, knowing they can count on you. 

If wife doesn't get that.... let her go. They are YOUR CHILDREN!


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## cavenger (Aug 26, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> They are YOUR children. That is the bottom line. New wife knew you had kids.... right?
> 
> How about welcome them, make them comfortable, support them emotionally.... because it's going to SUCK for them knowing that mom ditched them. The reasons don't matter.... ditched is ditched. Be the stable parent...be someone they can grow up with, knowing they can count on you.
> 
> If wife doesn't get that.... let her go. They are YOUR CHILDREN!


First off, I already get my kids half time and pay way more for their well being than she does. Another fact is that I have already done this once. Finally, I live in a small house and we barely have room.....but make no mistake about it .....I have ALWAYS been there for them....always.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

SunnyT said:


> They are YOUR children. That is the bottom line. New wife knew you had kids.... right?
> 
> How about welcome them, make them comfortable, support them emotionally.... because it's going to SUCK for them knowing that mom ditched them. The reasons don't matter.... ditched is ditched. Be the stable parent...be someone they can grow up with, knowing they can count on you.
> 
> If wife doesn't get that.... let her go. They are YOUR CHILDREN!


Totally agree.

I don't get the OP. I personally cannot imagine turning down a chance to spend more time with my child. In fact, when she told me she preferred me (and I got professional advice that things at moms sounded fishy) I pushed for majority custody.

OP, you need to make them feel nothing but welcoming and warmth from you and your new wife. Period.


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## d4life (Nov 28, 2012)

DTO said:


> Totally agree.
> 
> I don't get the OP. I personally cannot imagine turning down a chance to spend more time with my child. In fact, when she told me she preferred me (and I got professional advice that things at moms sounded fishy) I pushed for majority custody.
> 
> OP, you need to make them feel nothing but welcoming and warmth from you and your new wife. Period.


Amen! :iagree:


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

Do note that if she leaves any child support should end, and you may want to promptly petition for that. Indeed, assuming she can work, she should be making arrangements for paying some of the costs associated with a household.


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## ranaz2 (Oct 30, 2012)

cavenger, I get that you came here looking for support and I find some of the earlier posts less than supportive. You have in no way suggested that you aren't interested in parenting your children. I get that. The children's mother's decision certainly puts you in a difficult situation and she doesn't seem to have consulted with you, so you will have to figure out how to deal with this, in collaboration with your wife. Of course it is a struggle to figure out how to fit everyone in your small house, change the dynamics of your family, etc. I encourage you to work with your wife about how you will manage everything - you have to remain committed to the marriage and, as your wife, she shares the burden of this kind of stuff (no people, the children are not a burden, but the curve ball of what the ex-wife is doing IS a burden). It is possible to make this work and I wish you the best. I hope you get some professional help, if needed and I agree with Bobby5000 - perhaps child support needs to be revisited. Also, if this is a pattern, you may want to consider speaking with your attorney about any amendments to the custody agreement - like how changes in parenting time and living arrangements will be handled. Good luck!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

cavenger said:


> First off, I already get my kids half time and pay way more for their well being than she does. Another fact is that I have already done this once. Finally, I live in a small house and we barely have room.....but make no mistake about it .....I have ALWAYS been there for them....always.


 Then there should be no problem with them moving in with you.


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