# The wedding rings



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

What did you do with yours?


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## lovestruckout (Jul 6, 2011)

Great question! My wife wears hers. . . I left mine on her bed stand. It's been MIA, but last night she said she doesn't like that I don't wear it (ha!, you shoudn't have been a serial cheater, AND you shouldn't have engraved it one week into eight weeks of trickle truth).

My wife may throw it out. I said IDGAF.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I have both our rings sealed together in a ring box. On the box I wrote RIP Marriage 5-21-1997 to 4-3-2011. It's still in my jewelry box. Right now, my plan is to bury the box somewhere out on my parents farm.


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## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

Mine is on my dresser. 


He wears his.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Simon Phoenix (Aug 9, 2010)

She still wears hers. As for mine, well, I don't even bother wearing it. It's somewhere in the bedroom. Somewhere...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

I wear mine...my wife hasn't worn hers since D-Day. She does wear some of her other rings on her "ring finger", but not our wedding ring lately.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My mom had hers melted down and made into something else. lol.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

I still wear mine. WWs has been off since the infamous "ilybnilwy" speech. We are still married so I will wear it until we're not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 52flower (Mar 4, 2011)

Good question. My ring is in a jewelry box (along with other jewelry he purchased for me), not sure what to do with it. The diamond is very pretty but I don't want to wear it again in any form. I'm not even sure if I want to pass it along to one of my kids but maybe that is silly. Apple, how did you end up with his ring? My exH still has his.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

52flower said:


> Good question. My ring is in a jewelry box (along with other jewelry he purchased for me), not sure what to do with it. The diamond is very pretty but I don't want to wear it again in any form. I'm not even sure if I want to pass it along to one of my kids but maybe that is silly. Apple, how did you end up with his ring? My exH still has his.


Well, mine would never wear his. His excuse was he couldnt wear rings at work. Maybe true, maybe not. I dunno, I never followed up on his work dress code. So, it was always in my jewelry box. Once the shizz hit the fan, I hid it because I knew he would try to take it. And sure enough one day he asked me for the ring. I said no. He asked me why I wouldn't give it to him, and I said because they had meant nothing to him. He never asked me again about the ring and I kept it. It is now legally mine with the finalization of the divorce.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My hubs never wore his ring. As a mechanic, it isn't practical or safe. 

He wears it when we go out or to family, but normally it's on the ring holder. 

Strangely enough, it doesn't bother me.

If I was divorcing, I would save the rings for my kids though (if he is the dad) cause it's something they may want when they're older.


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## mommy2 (Oct 27, 2009)

On our fingers, where they've always been.


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## 52flower (Mar 4, 2011)

My ex gave me the same story. He couldn't wear it because it bothered him when he lifted weights at the gym. After the 1st affair, he wore it to show his desire for reconciliation. After 1 year it was on & off followed by affair #2. Recently (post-divorce) he sent a picture of his finger with it on "see I still wear it". What in the world?! I didn't reply. I should have kept it like you did (had it designed especially for him with our wedding date engraved). It feels like mockery for him to have it when it meant very little to him and so much to me.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

mommy2 said:


> on our fingers, where they've always been.


♥


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I have my engagement and wedding rings. He kept his. I returned all jewlery he had given me over the years. I got really mad when my ex MIL tried to tell me that I was gold digger when he was the one having an affair and he is the one that filed for divorce. The rings are now in the bank safety deposit box. I don't even know if I want to pass that ring to my son. Look at the luck it brought me. I might sell it few years from now but not yet. I have also put away in storage all photos of us. I only kept photos since our son's birth on. My ex is not in most of them anyways.


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Mine is in the side pocket of my travel toiletry bag, right next to the Advil. But then, I just left my STBX 10 days ago. I'm guessing I'll figure something much more clever out before too long...


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I have both our rings sealed together in a ring box. On the box I wrote RIP Marriage 5-21-1997 to 4-3-2011. It's still in my jewelry box. Right now, my plan is to bury the box somewhere out on my parents farm.


Now that is a dumb idea apple 

Sell rings.

Buy bottle of French Champagne. 

Drink it. This is a NEW LiFE. A BETTER LIFE. 

It deserves celebrating!!

Now. If I could just follow my own advice..


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

ing said:


> Now that is a dumb idea apple
> 
> Sell rings.
> 
> ...


Oh, but my rings aren't worth much money wise. The ex and I were married when we were just 20 and 21 yrs old. I was pregnant, and we had no money. So the rings we brought for each other were on the cheap side. (We got married at the courthouse too because we didnt have money for ceremony) It's the sentimental value of the rings though for me.

Of course, they're also an awful reminder to me of what a waste the past 15 yrs of my life have been.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Of course, they're also an awful reminder to me of what a waste the past 15 yrs of my life have been.


My 20 year post divorce friend describes his marriage as a wasteland that he would walk through again for the jewels he acquired on the way. 

I too was married at 21 and could not afford a ring. Hence the "following own advice"


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

While I am still in the house I have lived as married for the last 10 years, and still share the same bathroom with twin sinks and a large wall sized mirror in front, my ring is placed in plain view on the little raised platform of which my electric shaver rests.

I leave it in plain view, not for the sake of wishing I could put it back on, but as a reminder to all how it is removed.


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## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

After I found out that my W was still lying to me 10 months after D-Day and I had asked for a D, I walked up stairs and put my ring on her nightstand and left it there. She still wears her rings and she took my ring and wears it on a necklace around her neck, I'm not quite sure why. I have no intentions on taking any jewelry or anything back, I gave them to her, they were gifts and I don't beleive in taking a gift back.


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## Darth Vader (Jan 2, 2011)

lovestruckout said:


> Great question! My wife wears hers. . . I left mine on her bed stand. It's been MIA, but last night she said she doesn't like that I don't wear it *(ha!, you shoudn't have been a serial cheater, AND you shouldn't have engraved it one week into eight weeks of trickle truth).*
> 
> My wife may throw it out. I said IDGAF.


I gotta ask..... Did you actually say that to her? What was her reaction?


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## ilovechocolate (Jan 16, 2012)

Funny enough we were discussing this on weekend, my daughter wanted to know what to get me for my birthday . Jewellry mam? to which WH snapped she never wears it, she does nt even wear her wedding ring. We discussed it later - he never wore his due to his job working with machinery - and it seems to p!ss him off that I took it off and have decided when I m ready to put mine back on he ll go and get a wedding ring tttoo.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

I took mine off when I announced divorce, and put it back on when she convinced me to give R a chance.


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## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

I threw my rings at him on dday! And he went back for them and only could find my wedding band. Diamond never to be seen again. The band sits in my jewelry box. He surprised me with a new set about 2 months into R. And got a new band for himself..so we both wear new rings...for our REnewed marriage.

_-- Sent from my Palm Pixi using Forums_


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Oh the rings... 

When I thought about the rings it made me feel sick for a few. On dday I asked my wife, "When you would slip out to hotels to have Sex with the OM, would your where your rings." She told me that she got in the habit of taking them off in the car before going in. She said once the rings were off, it didn't matter anymore. 

At dday, I took her rings (engagement, gold band, 10 year diamond band) away and locked them up. I vowed never to wear one again. At 2+ years into R, we have new bands. I have recently given the old rings to my Son, to sell or use however he wants. 

They mean nothing to me, that marriage (30 years) is dead. Those bands are worthless to me and are only a reminder of her betrayal.


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

Since we're still together, my wife wears hers. However, I lost mine. My job required me me to take it off to hand wash frequently, but for all those years, I kept up w/ it. Then for some reason, I just misplaced it; seriously, not deliberately. Lost the replacement, too. Something Freudian going on there.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

We pawned the ones we said our vows on, thoose ones were broken promises.
He upgraded mine a few yrs ago. Im looking to get him one in a few weeks/months.


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## jen1020 (Dec 18, 2011)

I took mine off and put it in my jewellery box.

My WH took offence to this but we are going through divorce so I don't see any point in keeping it on.

Taking my ring off gave me a sense of freedom, even though I have a line around my finger now from wearing it all those years.

I decided instead to wear my grandmother's first engagement ring on my right hand as that is what I used to wear before I got married.

Jen


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I wear my original wedding ring. My husband does not wear his, but says he knows where it is. Yet he won't go get it for me, says I need to find it. I have a strong sense that he threw his away in the seperation. He plans to buy me a new ring and was also looking at rings for himself. We are renewing our vows for our 10th anniversary and he wants new rings. My original ring may go into the jewelry box or I might wear it on my right hand. I can't sell it since its in the original wedding photos
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BeenThereAndSuffering (Mar 12, 2012)

My H never wore his ring I haven't taken mine off since my wedding day except to clean it and it went straight back on, since our R he put his on and hasnt taken it off and our anniversary is coming up in July and he recommended new rings for a new beginning...but I love my rings and though we have went through so much we are moving on and my rings remind me that I am strong and how far we have come and I don't want to take them off.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

The rings from the first marriage were thrown at the ex after he was caught with his pants down. I don't know what he did with them (his or mine). The rings my second husband gave me are on my left hand where I pray they will always be.


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## LeighRichwood (Mar 31, 2012)

I wore my ring through the whole ordeal because I felt that I'd take it off when/if I wasn't married anymore. My H didn't wear his all the time because of his job. Now he doesn't wear the original one because he's gained weight and it doesn't fit anymore!! We recently got another one that fits and he wears it when he's not at work.

If we had divorced, I'd have saved mine to give to our daughter when she's older. I'd have pawned his.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

wore mine religously through the marriage but took it off when the whole truth came out and haven't put it on since then. It is in the glove box of my car because I didn't want her stealing it if I left it at home when she was there.


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## dalvin_au (Mar 19, 2012)

I have taken mine off recently. The pain and anguish my STBXW caused was too much to bear. I have her rings, and mine. in the same place...I hope spiritually my Lord, My God can do some healing.


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## LeighRichwood (Mar 31, 2012)

Dalvin - I feel for you. I hear the pain and I'm praying for healing.


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## balochbrud (Apr 21, 2012)

Nice question.My ring is in actually in a jewelry box.I cant wear that ring because it is platinum and it is very expensive.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

I havent worn mine since dday and I wont until he is away from Her(at least). He still has his on(oddly enough?)


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## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

Mine are still on, but sometimes when I start feeling angry I take them off for a bit just to see how it feels. I asked him to take his off, that I wanted him to get a new ring as he was wearing his when he cheated. It bothers me his wedding ring was rubbing up against her boobs!!! He got mad and left. When he came home that night he still had it on. The more I think about it, the more I think they mean nothing. He told me he wanted to renew his vows during the trickle truth days. So none of it means much to me anymore. He tells me it is sentimental to him. It sure wasn't sentimental that night.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

My H and I bought him a new ring during his EA! OMG, really? What a JA. Anyway, I asked him to take it off and put the old one back on or wear none b/c as far as I was concerned the new one was tainted and everytime I looked at it I thought about what he was doing during the time we bought it(trigger) and how it meant NOTHING. He took it off and put the original one on. I want to throw the new one off a bridge. What nerve, to buy a wedding band WHILE you are cheating on your wife. Gee Whiz have you NO sense of right and wrong?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Mine and my STBXW's are the diamond studded wedding rings that were once my Mom's and Dad's that I inherited from their estate. Her diamond solitaire engagement ring was also my Mother's.

STBXW quit wearing hers back early last year prior to the actual separation. I, however, continue to wear mine, but only as a token of respect for the institution of marriage, but mostly to honor Mom and Dad's 55 years together as husband and wife. And I will continue to do so up until the gavel falls for the final time in our divorce proceeding.

I'd like to say that, in time, that there might be another lady who I would give due consideration to marrying, and if that ever happens, I'd rather use other bands. As family heirlooms, these pricey rings of my parents are something that I'd like to give to one my sons to use when the time comes for them to walk the aisle. And that's provided that STBXW decides to relinquish the rings in the divorce property settlement.

I'm listing STBXW's rings as my personal inherited property in the property inventory. If she does not willingly give them up, or legally wins them as part of her own property, I may have to have her sign a contract to never sell them and to relinquish them to either of my son's upon their request, or at the time of her death to keep them from falling under the umbrella of her estate in order to keep them out of her kids hands.


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