# Ladies, do you appreciate poetry?



## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

I have written several poems for my wife and given them to her. At times she says thank you and that it was good. But a couple of times I've gotten a response like "instead of writing me poetry you could be doing something more productive". I don't do it a lot because I don't want to overdo it. So ladies, if your husband did/does write you poetry would you appreciate it or does it make the man seem weak?


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## Mountkat (Feb 28, 2017)

I would like it but I think people get so caught up w day to day living they don't stop to smell the roses or read poetry


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

My last partner would write me poetry, beautiful postcards and long ass letters/emails. I liked it in the beginning, towards the end I would just roll my eyes. He was always doing too much and I felt overwhelmed by his presence in general.

Current partner, I would probably get super emotional and cry if he wrote me a poem. 

If I consider my partner weak in general and overly emotional, yes I would appreciate his poems less and less overtime.

If I have a healthy relationship with my partner and his poems are rare and heartfelt, absolutely I would be blushing from now till new years if he wrote me a poem. 

Since your wife has already made that comment, I would quit writing her poems. She's way past my level of annoyance with my ex. I would've never gone as far as making that kind of comment. The furthest I went was suggesting that he didn't need to do so much so often and that I would only start to appreciate his gestures less if they were a commonality.

Perhaps write them privately and make a collection for her that you can pass on some time in the distant future.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

.


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

CanadaDry said:


> I have written several poems for my wife and given them to her. At times she says thank you and that it was good. But a couple of times I've gotten a response like "instead of writing me poetry you could be doing something more productive". I don't do it a lot because I don't want to overdo it. So ladies, if your husband did/does write you poetry would you appreciate it or does it make the man seem weak?


I've written many poems over many years. Most are inspired by her. She is my biggest fan.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

No, I don't appreciate poetry so my husband never wrote any for me (not that he was so inclined or talented in that area, anyway). He did give me a book of poetry once and it never got read.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> No, I don't appreciate poetry so my husband never wrote any for me (not that he was so inclined or talented in that area, anyway). He did give me a book of poetry once and it never got read.


Lol, if my W ever expected poetry from me she would be sorely disappointed. Worse case, I am sure I could put together something using the items listed on a Taco Bell menu though :grin2:


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

Blondilocks said:


> No, I don't appreciate poetry so my husband never wrote any for me (not that he was so inclined or talented in that area, anyway). He did give me a book of poetry once and it never got read.


I think life can be measured by memories of those moments of peak emotions, both good and bad. Those moments either happen to us or we create them intentionally.

One of those moments for me was sitting in the sand on Isla Mujeres while my wife lazed in a hammock slung between two palms. Waiters brought us beer and food. There, in the shade of the palms, we ate and I read love poems to her. What could be better?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

CanadaDry said:


> I have written several poems for my wife and given them to her. At times she says thank you and that it was good. But a couple of times I've gotten a response like "instead of writing me poetry you could be doing something more productive". I don't do it a lot because I don't want to overdo it. So ladies, if your husband did/does write you poetry would you appreciate it or does it make the man seem weak?


Canada, it may that is not her love languages she speaks....both of you read the 5 languages of love and take the test...


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## Itwasjustafantasy (Jan 8, 2016)

Anything thoughtful from my husband is always greatly appreciated. While he does not write poems per se, my husband expresses his love for me in other ways. For example, when he gives me a card for a special occasion he always makes it personalized and it shows he truly cherishes me.

Now the problem you have here is that your wife does not seem to care for poetry so perhaps just listen to her and ask what she would prefer you do for her.


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## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

Xenote said:


> Canada, it may that is not her love languages she speaks....both of you read the 5 languages of love and take the test...


Yeah you're right. My love language is words of affirmation, so I appreciate compliments, writing and such. I do need to find out what her love language is. I know we have the book somewhere.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

CanadaDry said:


> Yeah you're right. My love language is words of affirmation, so I appreciate compliments, writing and such. I do need to find out what her love language is. I know we have the book somewhere.


I think she has possibly already told you what her love language is. She said that instead of writing poetry, you could have been doing something productive. So, I'm guessing her love language may be Acts of Service - meaning, she would prefer you to do something for her rather than giving her words.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

urf said:


> I think life can be measured by memories of those moments of peak emotions, both good and bad. Those moments either happen to us or we create them intentionally.
> 
> One of those moments for me was sitting in the sand on Isla Mujeres while my wife lazed in a hammock slung between two palms. Waiters brought us beer and food. There, in the shade of the palms, we ate and I read love poems to her. *What could be better?*




Two on a single chaise lounge.


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

Rowan said:


> I think she has possibly already told you what her love language is. She said that instead of writing poetry, you could have been doing something productive. So, I'm guessing her love language may be Acts of Service - meaning, she would prefer you to do something for her rather than giving her words.


Wouldn't that mean that they don't really know each other? She wants one thing and he another. I would look at writing from the heart as way of cementing a relationship. Accepting your partner for who they are inside means to accept, graciously the gift given even if it is not what you want or expected in my opinion.

In my relationship my wife can buy whatever she wants to. She can't buy what I give her.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

urf said:


> Wouldn't that mean that they don't really know each other? She wants one thing and he another. I would look at writing from the heart as way of cementing a relationship. Accepting your partner for who they are inside means to accept, graciously the gift given even if it is not what you want or expected in my opinion.
> 
> In my relationship my wife can buy whatever she wants to. She can't buy what I give her.


I don't think it is necessarily about graciously accepting a gift. I could care less if my W ever writes me poetry. If she did, yes I would graciously accept, but I am not going to be overly enthusiastic for receiving. A lot of times when you give a gift, especially one you feel like you put a lot of time/thought in to, you are very focused on the reaction of the person you give it to. Giving someone a gift, and even if they are appreciative, not getting the reaction you hoped for is going to lead to disappointment. I think that is all others here are saying, and why it is just as important to understand what your SO wants (otherwise, it brings into question of whether or not the gift is really for them or for you).


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> [/B]
> 
> Two on a single chaise lounge.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I'm pretty sure that if I did that for my wife, it would be returned by some mean wisecrack of some sort or "it's there something else you could be doing?"


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> I don't think it is necessarily about graciously accepting a gift. I could care less if my W ever writes me poetry. If she did, yes I would graciously accept, but I am not going to be overly enthusiastic for receiving. A lot of times when you give a gift, especially one you feel like you put a lot of time/thought in to, you are very focused on the reaction of the person you give it to. Giving someone a gift, and even if they are appreciative, not getting the reaction you hoped for is going to lead to disappointment. I think that is all others here are saying, and *why it is just as important to understand what your SO wants (otherwise, it brings into question of whether or not the gift is really for them or for you*).


Exactly. We had a friend who loved home-made bread. His wife didn't particularly care for bread. He presented his wife with a top of the line bread machine for her birthday and then was disappointed and whiny when she never took it out of the box. Poor him. He was particularly whiny when he got the bill for her new diamond studs.


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## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

Itwasjustafantasy said:


> Now the problem you have here is that your wife does not seem to care for poetry so perhaps just listen to her and ask what she would prefer you do for her.


Words of affirmation is not her love language. And neither is gifts. She doesn't like flowers and says they are a waste of money. I still get them for her on special occasions and she doesn't throw a fit. She also lost her original wedding ring and now wears a plain silver band. She says she doesn't want to spend money on a new one right now. I thinks acts of service is her love language. She seems to appreciate me doing things for her and the house.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Some women dig poetry. Not all do, tho. If she's "cultured" it's a better chance she would appreciate it more.

Try other forms of art, too.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

john117 said:


> Some women dig poetry. Not all do, tho. *If she's "cultured*" it's a better chance she would appreciate it more.
> 
> Try other forms of art, too.


You say some of the silliest ****.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

CanadaDry said:


> I have written several poems for my wife and given them to her. At times she says thank you and that it was good. But a couple of times I've gotten a response like "instead of writing me poetry you could be doing something more productive". I don't do it a lot because I don't want to overdo it. So ladies, if your husband did/does write you poetry would you appreciate it or does it make the man seem weak?


No. If my boyfriend had written a heartfelt poem for me, I would not laugh in front of him of course, but I would think it was silly and corny. I would not be able to read it with a straight face.

I think your wife and i are the same. My love language is definitely acts of service. I would get more enjoyment out of him say, doing the dishes or taking out the trash.


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## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

lucy999 said:


> I think your wife and i are the same. My love language is definitely acts of service. I would get more enjoyment out of him say, doing the dishes or taking out the trash.


Yes! She is always telling her son to do some house chore. I always help with chores except I've been banned from washing clothes. I separate into whites and colors and she separates colors by hue. The reds have their own pile, blacks, blues, etc. I'm allowed to put clothes in the dryer and hang/fold. Since you are like my wife, tell me what you would appreciate as a thoughtful gift other than a clean house?


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> Lol, if my W ever expected poetry from me she would be sorely disappointed. Worse case, I am sure I could put together something using the items listed on a Taco Bell menu though :grin2:


Or there's always that poem about Nantucket...


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

CanadaDry said:


> Yes! She is always telling her son to do some house chore. I always help with chores except I've been banned from washing clothes. I separate into whites and colors and she separates colors by hue. The reds have their own pile, blacks, blues, etc. I'm allowed to put clothes in the dryer and hang/fold. Since you are like my wife, tell me what you would appreciate as a thoughtful gift other than a clean house?


I'm pretty low maintenance in the gift department. Maybe a professional massage or a pedi/mani? Would she be ok with you doing the grocery shopping once in awhile? How about taking her car to get detailed, fill it with gas?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> You say some of the silliest ****.


Hardly.

Thinking of my daughters, the older, not quite cultured enough unless it's her field. Couldn't get her to a poetry or literature reading for all the Adderall in a pharmacy. Her idea of culture is TV cooking shows. She can tell you what size underwear David the statue is wearing but not much outside that. 

The younger is a literature and humanities powerhouse, enjoying reading and writing as well. 

If you were a guy asking either of them out to a poetry reading, or writing a poem for, where would you place the odds?

It's not like I didn't sit thru endless hours of poetry readings and such in my birth country as part of the dating process. Don't think it worked so well as I'm not very big on culture overall.


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## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

lucy999 said:


> I'm pretty low maintenance in the gift department. Maybe a professional massage or a pedi/mani? Would she be ok with you doing the grocery shopping once in awhile? How about taking her car to get detailed, fill it with gas?


These are all good suggestions. We do grocery shopping together already, or I do it. The mani/pedi is a good idea or a spa gift certificate. I also already clean her car on a regular basis. I love doing things for her, not so much for myself. Since I've stopped smoking cigars I don't have much to do by myself or spend on myself. I don't have friends to hang out with as my wife is my best friend. And right now I don't have any hobbies. I'd love to restore cars, but that's an expensive hobby!


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

CanadaDry said:


> These are all good suggestions. We do grocery shopping together already, or I do it. The mani/pedi is a good idea or a spa gift certificate. I also already clean her car on a regular basis. I love doing things for her, not so much for myself. Since I've stopped smoking cigars I don't have much to do by myself or spend on myself. I don't have friends to hang out with as my wife is my best friend. And right now I don't have any hobbies. I'd love to restore cars, but that's an expensive hobby!


Time to Branch out and find some buddies.


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

john117 said:


> Hardly.
> 
> Thinking of my daughters, the older, not quite cultured enough unless it's her field. Couldn't get her to a poetry or literature reading for all the Adderall in a pharmacy. Her idea of culture is TV cooking shows. She can tell you what size underwear David the statue is wearing but not much outside that.
> 
> ...


*
In my opinion there is a big difference between reading and writing poetry and going to a poetry reading. One I do willingly the other would bore me.

As a young person I was never interested in poetry or any of the other arts. Too busy at play then later at work I guess. Timing is important. 

I was introduced to poetry via a movie called "Il Postino". It really changed my life in some ways. I became aware of my intellect and it set me on a path of learning to appreciate the lessons of life that are contained within the subject broadly described as "the arts". I remember hearing someone say "All of life's questions are answered in the arts." I find that to be pretty much true.

In my experience writing a poem is a way of disconnecting the everyday rational mind and exploring the core parts of what I think. The poem is the output on paper that is produced. I offer it as a bird would offer a nest building straw to my mate. It is merely one piece of the whole that makes our relationship what it is. 

Every action toward one another by me or by her is by definition part of the building process of love and togetherness. Conversely every negative action destroys bit by bit that which is built between people. 

In my case the receiver of that gift is a wonderment. Always positive and open to me. *


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I think that perhaps I appreciated poetry when I was younger and more romantic/naive. 

Then the swift hammer of life's realities hit me and I tend to view actions as greater signs of love than words. 

That being said, I have the utmost respect for those with amazing skill, artistry, and command with the written or spoken word.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Correct. Few people can appreciate poetry and even fewer can write decent poetry. 

Cat memes, on the other hand...


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

CanadaDry said:


> These are all good suggestions. We do grocery shopping together already, or I do it. The mani/pedi is a good idea or a spa gift certificate. I also already clean her car on a regular basis. I love doing things for her, not so much for myself. Since I've stopped smoking cigars I don't have much to do by myself or spend on myself. I don't have friends to hang out with as my wife is my best friend. And right now I don't have any hobbies. I'd love to restore cars, but that's an expensive hobby!


Make her coffee, exactly how she likes it. Or tea. 

Scrape the snow/ice off her car in the morning. 

If she works, cut up some fruit for her for a snack at work (make sure she won't be offended by this first though). 

Listen to her for any cravings that she may have. Has she mentioned wanting some Dorritos?! If so, get her a couple of small bags; a few different varieties. 

These are the same things my husband & I do for each other. 

And BTW, get some friends of your own. It's not healthy to rely on your wife for sole friendship. It's good that she's your best friend, but you still need some friends separate from your marriage.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I am not a poet, but I do write my own songs. I have written a few for my wife through the years. She's not impressed. I have at times been upset over that. But, she doesn't appreciate music, so I have to understand that she's just not into it. 

Her Love Languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time. Mine are Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. So, I have to work at understanding her POV sometimes. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Poetry and lyrics express the writer's experience. Sometimes they speak to another person and sometimes they don't. People who are not educated and not 'cultured' can be drawn to poetry because it expresses a sentiment they have felt. Not being drawn to poetry or lyrics does not mean one is not 'cultured'. It only means that the person has an affinity for a different art form.

Some people think Gainsborough's 'Blue Boy' is the cat's pajamas. Others would use a print of it to line their bird cage because they like Dali. Whatever floats your boat. 

One art form is not weighted more heavily than another.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Poetry and lyrics express the writer's experience. Sometimes they speak to another person and sometimes they don't. People who are not educated and not 'cultured' can be drawn to poetry because it expresses a sentiment they have felt. Not being drawn to poetry or lyrics does not mean one is not 'cultured'. It only means that the person has an affinity for a different art form.
> 
> Some people think Gainsborough's 'Blue Boy' is the cat's pajamas. Others would use a print of it to line their bird cage because they like Dali. Whatever floats your boat.
> 
> One art form is not weighted more heavily than another.


If you want to read romantic poetry google w.b. Yeats,he was an Irish poet and is famous for his quotes as well.He is so respected on the west of Ireland that entire sides of buildings have his poetry on them.


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