# When Work and Relationships Collide



## Rob2380 (Dec 21, 2009)

When I first found this site a few months ago, I posted about how my job was interfering in my relationship. Since that initial post things have gotten *much* better, but the issue of my job and the amount of time it requires of me have continued to be a source of stress/concern for my wife. Bottom line is she wants me to quit. The job requires long hours, (on top of which I have a long commute) and is frequently stressful (I'm a manager of a large group). Cutting back my hours is not an option, though I'm delegating as much as I can to others. The Blackberry is never far away, but I'm much better about ignoring it when I'm with my wife. 

Last year I had some issues with my health, including a very scary panic attack that landed me in the ER, which she feels were related to the pace/stress of my job. We don't fight about this issue, but we have had many talks about my leaving and her willingness to live on less money if that's the price of me leaving. 

While I agree with my wife that the job is frequently stressful and requires a certain amount of travel out of state, I don't feel ready to leave. Her concern is over the toll the job takes on me from a physical and emotional standpoint. I'm tolerating the stress much better since quitting all use of alcohol over a year ago, but there are times when it can be quite a trying environment. I have been there for over 10 years and am in a position where I'm well compensated and respected by my peers and upper management. I have a number of good relationships with my co-workers, though we don't socialize outside of work. It would be hard to give that up and start fresh somewhere at this stage in my life. Am I being selfish and foolish, or am I being practical?

I am curious to hear from others who have faced a similar situation with their spouses. Would also love to hear from those of you who have been in the same situation as my wife and wanted a spouse to leave their job.


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