# Accidents Do Happen...



## sczinger

Third time my EWW has reached out since she left almost a year ago. This time her daughter "accidentally" had a package shipped to my house and she'd like to pick it up when it comes. A month ago it was Christmas ornaments she forgot. 4 months ago it was a simple "Hi" at 12:30 in the morning. I've responded to none of them. The first time it just took my breath away, the second time disdain, this time I was able to finish ironing my shirt and go to work. I will never be a casual friend to her. I don't ever want her to exist in my mind again. She has no idea of the emotional devastation she caused me early on. I'm torn between wanting her to try to reconcile so I can effectively tell her to take a hike and asking myself, still, how could she have done this to me. It's driving me nuts...


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## Andy1001

sczinger said:


> Third time my EWW has reached out since she left almost a year ago. This time her daughter "accidentally" had a package shipped to my house and she'd like to pick it up when it comes. A month ago it was Christmas ornaments she forgot. 4 months ago it was a simple "Hi" at 12:30 in the morning. I've responded to none of them. The first time it just took my breath away, the second time disdain, this time I was able to finish ironing my shirt and go to work. I will never be a casual friend to her. I don't ever want her to exist in my mind again. She has no idea of the emotional devastation she caused me early on. I'm torn between wanting her to try to reconcile so I can effectively tell her to take a hike and asking myself, still, how could she have done this to me. It's driving me nuts...


When the delivery is made tell the delivery guy nobody by that name lives there and don’t sign for it.
Please do not go down the revenge route,you have came through this situation with your head held high and your morals intact.Do not drop down to your exes level,take the high road.
Remember block and ignore always.


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## sczinger

Andy1001 said:


> When the delivery is made tell the delivery guy nobody by that name lives there and don’t sign for it.
> Please do not go down the revenge route,you have came through this situation with your head held high and your morals intact.Do not drop down to your exes level,take the high road.
> Remember block and ignore always.


I thought about that.... But they never have me sign for anything. Somewhat rural and very safe. I'll be in Vegas next week so hopefully it will come while I'm out of town...


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## BluesPower

sczinger said:


> Third time my EWW has reached out since she left almost a year ago. This time her daughter "accidentally" had a package shipped to my house and she'd like to pick it up when it comes. A month ago it was Christmas ornaments she forgot. 4 months ago it was a simple "Hi" at 12:30 in the morning. I've responded to none of them. The first time it just took my breath away, the second time disdain, this time I was able to finish ironing my shirt and go to work. I will never be a casual friend to her. I don't ever want her to exist in my mind again. She has no idea of the emotional devastation she caused me early on. I'm torn between wanting her to try to reconcile so I can effectively tell her to take a hike and asking myself, still, how could she have done this to me. It's driving me nuts...


I get you completely. This is something you have to deal with. 

I promise over time it gets easier and easier to deal with. But it takes time. 

Now, do you really think these are "planned" contacts as in she wants some sort of emotional, friend, whatever thing from you? 

Or is she just that dingy that she really did forget the ornaments, and sent the package to the wrong house. 

She is still with her OM right? So why would she be bothering you? 

Mine, did this thing where she would complain about how hard it was working and whatever the **** else. She wanted to lean on me emotionally I guess. 

I divorced her, and for stuff a lot worse than infidelity, and she knew there was no way back, she had all the chances in the world, and she blew every one. I had been through 2 or 3 GF's by that time, so she had to understand that it was over in every way. 

Yet, she still wanted to lean on me, habit I guess. 

Finally, I had enough and said..."Did you get your money from me this month? Ok, good. Well I am sorry that your life is difficult but you need to understand that I don't give a ****. I will never, ever give a **** about you or your life. In fact, unless there is some type of emergency with one of the kids or the grand child, I would rather never talk to you at all, if it all possible." 

After that speech, she stopped talking to me for the most part. One day, I hope to never hear her voice again...


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## sczinger

BluesPower said:


> Now, do you really think these are "planned" contacts as in she wants some sort of emotional, friend, whatever thing from you?
> 
> Or is she just that dingy that she really did forget the ornaments, and sent the package to the wrong house.
> 
> She is still with her OM right? So why would she be bothering you?


 @BluesPower...I just don't know. We have no kids together, no finances, no alimony, no child support. No reason at all to communicate, so my road to NC has been paved with gold. I don't know if she is still seeing her AP or not. She is just smart enough to be stupid.


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## BluesPower

sczinger said:


> @BluesPower...I just don't know. We have no kids together, no finances, no alimony, no child support. No reason at all to communicate, so my road to NC has been paved with gold. I don't know if she is still seeing her AP or not. She is just smart enough to be stupid.


Well, then she really has no reason to contact you at all. If it keeps happening, would it do any good to give her the don't ever ****ing talk to me again or have you already done that?


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## TJW

sczinger said:


> I'm torn between wanting her to try to reconcile so I can effectively tell her to take a hike and asking myself, still, how could she have done this to me. It's driving me nuts...


Ok. I'll answer the second clause first. She didn't do it "to you". She did it "for her". Actually, the "torn" aspect of your statement takes on the correct light when you recognize that.....she did it because it felt good to her, and she didn't really give a rat's ass about you. Don't be torn any longer. The only effectiveness your "take a hike" can ever have is for you. It doesn't need to even be told to her.... just tell yourself how she had no regard for your emotional welfare, still doesn't, this was, and is, all about her.....


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## arbitrator

*In the wise and immortal words of Admiral Ackbar, "It's a Trap!"*


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## sczinger

BluesPower said:


> Well, then she really has no reason to contact you at all. If it keeps happening, would it do any good to give her the don't ever ****ing talk to me again or have you already done that?


I have not responded at all... NC has been for my healing process. It's just stupid to me that 12 months after DDay and 10 months after she left that I'm still having this anxiety. I don't know how she would react to " don't ever ****ing talk to me again" because until this all went down so fast I never thought I'd be in a position to say that to her. My guess is she wouldn't give a ***t.


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## Andy1001

sczinger said:


> I have not responded at all... NC has been for my healing process. It's just stupid to me that 12 months after DDay and 10 months after she left that I'm still having this anxiety. I don't know how she would react to " don't ever ****ing talk to me again" because until this all went down so fast I never thought I'd be in a position to say that to her. My guess is she wouldn't give a ***t.


Your problem is that you think too much and your too ****ing “nice” for your own good..Sorry if that sounds harsh.
Why haven’t you got her blocked on everything from email to smoke signals.
If she can’t contact you she can’t get into your head because she is in there my friend despite all your protestations.
Now I have a mean streak and here’s what I would do.When the parcel arrives text your ex and tell her it’s here and your NEW girlfriend signed for it.
That should put her in her place😈😈


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## sa58

No kids. no alimony, no reason for contact.
If she is still with her Om then maybe things 
are not going the way she thought they would. 
Maybe she is trying to get a backup plan just 
in case it goes really bad. You !! Staying in contact
just in case needed. Don't fall for it , don;t be a nice 
guy and let her do this to you. Tell her you have moved 
on and then ignore her.


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## lifeistooshort

Andy1001 said:


> Your problem is that you think too much and your too ****ing “nice” for your own good..Sorry if that sounds harsh.
> Why haven’t you got her blocked on everything from email to smoke signals.
> If she can’t contact you she can’t get into your head because she is in there my friend despite all your protestations.
> Now I have a mean streak and here’s what I would do.When the parcel arrives text your ex and tell her it’s here and your NEW girlfriend signed for it.
> That should put her in her place😈😈


This. 

There is a time to be friendly or cordial and I time to be harsh.

This is option 2.


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## 2ntnuf

It won't be effective, unless you have some woman there to sign and take it inside. You will need her to stay until it is picked up, and then answer the door. It's a bit too complicated. 

In fact, call the delivery service and tell them you will not be home and ask them to keep the package there so you can pick it up later.

Then, when they come to get it from your home, if you are there, just tell them no one stopped by. No package was left at your home.


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## MJJEAN

Maybe the delivery address on her Amazon or whatever service she used wasn't updated after the divorce and she didn't realize until the order had been placed. That actually happened to me this year.

Maybe she forgot the Christmas ornaments and remembered when she started thinking about her holiday plans this year. Might have nothing to do with trying to get involved with you again.


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## Diana7

sczinger said:


> Third time my EWW has reached out since she left almost a year ago. This time her daughter "accidentally" had a package shipped to my house and she'd like to pick it up when it comes. A month ago it was Christmas ornaments she forgot. 4 months ago it was a simple "Hi" at 12:30 in the morning. I've responded to none of them. The first time it just took my breath away, the second time disdain, this time I was able to finish ironing my shirt and go to work. I will never be a casual friend to her. I don't ever want her to exist in my mind again. She has no idea of the emotional devastation she caused me early on. I'm torn between wanting her to try to reconcile so I can effectively tell her to take a hike and asking myself, still, how could she have done this to me. It's driving me nuts...


IT can happen. If the daughter has an amazon account for example, she may have clicked on the wrong address by accident that she hadn't got round to deleting. We have had a parcel from amazon for the last owners who moved out a few months ago, and they didn't leave a forwarding address. They must have clicked their old address accidently. So its possible that it is actually accidental. 

Could the daughter collect it? Or maybe a mutual friend? Or if you live somewhere safe you could leave it on your porch?You are doing the right thing by ignoring her contact though.


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## Rob_1

Regardless of what the actual reasons might have been for contacting you, legit or not the ringing in your head is what's keeping you there, getting obsessive/giving it second thoughts.

The real question here is why is she still able to reach you? Why haven't you completely eliminated all forms of possible communication/ways for her 
to reach you? By now she shouldn't have a way/form to contact you.


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## Marc878

^^^^^

Yep, just block her.


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## Openminded

She has no reason to ever contact you again so make sure she can't.


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## MJJEAN

Diana7 said:


> IT can happen. If the daughter has an amazon account for example, she may have clicked on the wrong address by accident that she hadn't got round to deleting. We have had a parcel from amazon for the last owners who moved out a few months ago, and they didn't leave a forwarding address. They must have clicked their old address accidently. So its possible that it is actually accidental.


Mine wasn't even a matter of a misclick. I have a few online shopping accounts through various services I use. I've owned and lived in my house for 15 years. I used an online account a few years ago to ship a gift I bought through their service to my eldest DD, who lives in another state. Haven't used the service in a while, but decided to buy my son a gift through them this year. I'm not used to having to check the addresses, so I totally didn't realize my billing address and shipping address were different until after I clicked to submit the order.

This kind of thing happens.

Personally, I'd either ship the gift to her new address or have a friend/family member arrange to pick it up or allow me to drop it off to said friend/family member. Maintains no contact, but allows the kid to get her gift before Christmas.


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## 2ntnuf

MJJEAN said:


> Mine wasn't even a matter of a misclick. I have a few online shopping accounts through various services I use. I've owned and lived in my house for 15 years. I used an online account a few years ago to ship a gift I bought through their service to my eldest DD, who lives in another state. Haven't used the service in a while, but decided to buy my son a gift through them this year. I'm not used to having to check the addresses, so I totally didn't realize my billing address and shipping address were different until after I clicked to submit the order.
> 
> This kind of thing happens.
> 
> *Personally, I'd either ship the gift to her new address or have a friend/family member arrange to pick it up or allow me to drop it off to said friend/family member. Maintains no contact, but allows the kid to get her gift before Christmas.*


I have to ask. Why go through all that trouble, when he can just call them? I think what you suggest is what you would do for a friend, or someone you are fond of. I don't think his ex fits any of those categories. 

I also don't think it is wrong for him to limit how much he does for her. It wasn't his mistake. It was hers. She should take responsibility for her mistake, and call them herself to change where it is sent. Don't you think that would be the kind thing to do?

So, that brings up another thought. Why wouldn't she do that? Maybe she doesn't know and no one will tell her what to do? See, now we circle back around to her wanting him to do something for her, so she feels vindicated or somehow like she can be his friend. 

That's likely why he figures she is up to something, and why I would, too. 

I don't think he wants to be her friend. That's okay. Isn't it?


Edit: I also think this is indicative of someone who will not accept just blame and consequences for her actions,. I know that won't be a popular opinion. I can't help that. Just because she was married to him at one time, does not give her any rights to his life now, since they are divorced. That divorce contract was signed and accepted by the court. You only get those rights when you are nice to each other and married. Otherwise, there is no legal obligation between them.


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## GusPolinski

sczinger said:


> Third time my EWW has reached out since she left almost a year ago. This time her daughter "accidentally" had a package shipped to my house and she'd like to pick it up when it comes. A month ago it was Christmas ornaments she forgot. 4 months ago it was a simple "Hi" at 12:30 in the morning. I've responded to none of them. The first time it just took my breath away, the second time disdain, this time I was able to finish ironing my shirt and go to work. I will never be a casual friend to her. I don't ever want her to exist in my mind again. She has no idea of the emotional devastation she caused me early on. I'm torn between wanting her to try to reconcile so I can effectively tell her to take a hike and asking myself, still, how could she have done this to me. It's driving me nuts...


“Sure. It will be out on the curb next to a sign that says ‘Free Stuff’.”


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## Diana7

I think that how we act in these situations says a lot about us. We don't have to stoop to their level or be vengeful or mean. 
I would just assume it was a genuine mistake and just leave the parcel in my porch for someone to collect. You said that you live in a rural place so its not going to get stolen. 
No harm done to yourself, you won't have to see her, and you have acted in a good way. Be the better person here.


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## Decorum

Marc878 said:


> ^^^^^
> 
> Yep, just block her.


^^^^^^^^^^^^


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## sczinger

And no response from me warranted a follow-up from her simply saying "At least let me know you got the last email, please.". I simply responded, "I'll let you know." I've blocked her in Outlook but not sure why it came through. How can I allow one human being in this vast universe of billions of humans to affect me so much? I thought I was further along than this. I need to get control of these emotions.


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## Andy1001

sczinger said:


> And no response from me warranted a follow-up from her simply saying "At least let me know you got the last email, please.". I simply responded, "I'll let you know." I've blocked her in Outlook but not sure why it came through. How can I allow one human being in this vast universe of billions of humans to affect me so much? I thought I was further along than this. I need to get control of these emotions.


Why the hell did you respond?
Are you actually reading any of the advice you’re getting?
Because I’m starting to wonder.


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## BluesPower

sczinger said:


> And no response from me warranted a follow-up from her simply saying "At least let me know you got the last email, please.". I simply responded, "I'll let you know." I've blocked her in Outlook but not sure why it came through. How can I allow one human being in this vast universe of billions of humans to affect me so much? I thought I was further along than this. I need to get control of these emotions.


Brother, you really do. I mean it is not like you still love her, do you? 

And if you do, why do you? I mean she is a POS. 

Have you actually said, "Do not contact me for any reason until the day you die?" 

Had you said that? If not why not?


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## Bananapeel

Dude, you are still obsessing about your X and letting her take up space in your head. That's why this bothering you. It would have been easiest to just reply "ok" and when the package arrived reply "package on porch" and say nothing more. That would have effectively conveyed you are acting like an adult but don't want her in your life. I think you've come a long way but still have a long way to go before you are fully healed.

Heck you could have answered this only with emojis. First an OK emoji when you got the message and then a package emoji when it arrived. Don't ever let an emoji conversation slip by again. Those are gold for communicating when you don't want to talk to the other person.


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## sczinger

BluesPower said:


> Have you actually said, "Do not contact me for any reason until the day you die?"
> 
> Had you said that? If not why not?


I have not. Once the "package" from her daughter has arrived I'll pile the ornaments at the front door and email her "front porch". That's it. I have not initiated any contact at all.


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## sczinger

Bananapeel said:


> An OK image when you got the message and a picture of a package when it arrived. Don't let an emoji conversation slip by again. :rofl:


This is a great idea!!! The package is supposed to arrive while I'm in Vegas over the weekend anyway. No chance of me seeing her.


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## Adelais

When you email "front porch" add "and make this the last time you set foot on my property, or contact me."


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## BluesPower

sczinger said:


> I have not. Once the "package" from her daughter has arrived I'll pile the ornaments at the front door and email her "front porch". That's it. I have not initiated any contact at all.


I get that, but you know you did not answer all the questions that I asked, maybe you don't want to. 

Listen, you may have to say it at some point if she continues to contact you. Even if it goes against your "nice guy ness". 

I think it will help you if you say it too her. You can be nice if you want to. 

It just lets her know, that there is never a way back, no matter what. And you really want to never have contact with her again...


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## sczinger

BluesPower said:


> Brother, you really do. I mean it is not like you still love her, do you?
> 
> And if you do, why do you? I mean she is a POS.


 @BluesPower Do I still love her? I love who I thought she was. I know, I know. Maybe she used to be who I loved but she's not anymore. Part of the process towards acceptance. I still will be driving down the road and something triggers this statement in my head "How could she do this to me?"

I know I'm not the first person to have these feelings. It's tiresome, a waste of time and energy. Some people say "you've got to experience these emotions in order to heal". Others say "forget her. Stop wasting your time. Meet someone that is better than her." I know that it is definitely better than it was 6-7 months ago. I'm just ready for the "meh" to get here. Holiday's don't help. I'm not even putting up a Christmas tree this year. Don't want to. Maybe next year. I also know I don't want to find peace and healing in another companion.


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## BluesPower

sczinger said:


> @BluesPower Do I still love her? I love who I thought she was. I know, I know. Maybe she used to be who I loved but she's not anymore. Part of the process towards acceptance. I still will be driving down the road and something triggers this statement in my head "How could she do this to me?"
> 
> I know I'm not the first person to have these feelings. It's tiresome, a waste of time and energy. Some people say "you've got to experience these emotions in order to heal". Others say "forget her. Stop wasting your time. Meet someone that is better than her." I know that it is definitely better than it was 6-7 months ago. I'm just ready for the "meh" to get here. Holiday's don't help. I'm not even putting up a Christmas tree this year. Don't want to. Maybe next year. I also know I don't want to find peace and healing in another companion.


Ok, thanks for being truthful... I did not realize it was still that bad for you, I am sorry. 

I forget how long it has been for you, but I think most people would say you should be further along than your are. Who knows. 

Have you done any therapy, read any books, or are you white knuckling it. 

For me, and I probably have a character flaw, but after I knew my marriage was over, it was easy to detach from women that I dumped. 

That probably sounds worse than it actually is. But when I have to end something with a woman for whatever reason, yeah it hurt, but I don't know, it was easier somehow.

Now, my wife did not leave me out of the blue like yours did, so that part was easier. 

But seriously you have to get some type of therapy to deal with this, and if you already are in therapy, then you need a new therapist. 

Time will help, a new love will held, but I think you are going to have to bite the therapy bullet...


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## sczinger

BluesPower said:


> Ok, thanks for being truthful... I did not realize it was still that bad for you, I am sorry.
> 
> I forget how long it has been for you, but I think most people would say you should be further along than your are. Who knows.
> 
> Have you done any therapy, read any books, or are you white knuckling it.
> 
> For me, and I probably have a character flaw, but after I knew my marriage was over, it was easy to detach from women that I dumped.
> 
> That probably sounds worse than it actually is. But when I have to end something with a woman for whatever reason, yeah it hurt, but I don't know, it was easier somehow.
> 
> Now, my wife did not leave me out of the blue like yours did, so that part was easier.
> 
> But seriously you have to get some type of therapy to deal with this, and if you already are in therapy, then you need a new therapist.
> 
> Time will help, a new love will held, but I think you are going to have to bite the therapy bullet...


I have been seeing a wonderful therapist for the last 9 months of the 10 she's been gone. I have cut back on the amount I see him on my own. Things seemed so much better. But the holiday's seem to have sucked me down the rabbit hole a bit. I am seeing him next Thursday.


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## 3Xnocharm

sczinger said:


> I have not responded at all... NC has been for my healing process. It's just stupid to me that 12 months after DDay and 10 months after she left that I'm still having this anxiety. I don't know how she would react to " don't ever ****ing talk to me again" because until this all went down so fast I never thought I'd be in a position to say that to her. My guess is she wouldn't give a ***t.


Who gives a **** how she reacts?? She has it coming! Stop worrying about how she feels or thinks or whatever. Block her at every possible communication avenue and forget she exists!


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## Ursula

Diana7 said:


> I think that how we act in these situations says a lot about us. We don't have to stoop to their level or be vengeful or mean.
> I would just assume it was a genuine mistake and just leave the parcel in my porch for someone to collect. You said that you live in a rural place so its not going to get stolen.
> No harm done to yourself, you won't have to see her, and you have acted in a good way. Be the better person here.


^^^ I agree with this, and, I would also contact the ex and tell her point blank that you don't want her to contact you again, ever. I would block the number, and do nothing but look ahead into the brighter future.


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## 2ntnuf

Just recently told my ex, when she asked if I was going to forgive her, "No, and never contact me again". She also asked if I wanted my stuff back. I told her, "If you have anything that is mine, you should be in jail".


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## Openminded

She never was who you thought. Remind yourself of that as many times a day as you need to.


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## GusPolinski

sczinger said:


> I have not. Once the "package" from her daughter has arrived I'll pile the ornaments at the front door and email her "front porch". That's it. I have not initiated any contact at all.


“End of the driveway” would be better.


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## Adelais

GusPolinski said:


> “End of the driveway” would be better.


Emailing that would make her hurry up and get them. Then you could put them in an obvious place on the porch or front step to avoid the stuff being stolen. If you don't have anything against her daughter, you might not want her package stolen because it looked like it was free.


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## sczinger

Araucaria said:


> If you don't have anything against her daughter, you might not want her package stolen because it looked like it was free.


She has three grown kids. I adore two of them. The one that accidentally sent the package to my house, however, is a complete and utter ankle. She should have been born another species...


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## MJJEAN

2ntnuf said:


> I have to ask. Why go through all that trouble, when he can just call them? I think what you suggest is what you would do for a friend, or someone you are fond of. I don't think his ex fits any of those categories.
> 
> I also don't think it is wrong for him to limit how much he does for her. It wasn't his mistake. It was hers. She should take responsibility for her mistake, and call them herself to change where it is sent. Don't you think that would be the kind thing to do?
> 
> So, that brings up another thought. Why wouldn't she do that? Maybe she doesn't know and no one will tell her what to do?


I wouldn't be sending it to her or arranging for a pcik-up/drop-off for her. I'd be doing it for me and for her daughter. For me, I don't want the responsibility or liability. Getting the package out of my possession is the end goal. For her daughter because the daughter is innocent and doesn't deserve the disappointment of a lost gift.

How to handle a package shipped to the wrong address really depends on where in the process you are. If you just sent the order some companies allow you to edit the order within a certain timeframe. Others you have to call customer service. If you're further along in the process there may be nothing anyone can do. For example, I didn't figure out my package was sent to the wrong address until a few hours later when I got the shipping confirmation email with tracking number. There wasn't a thing I could do at that point. It was already sent out and scanned in at the USPS.



sczinger said:


> I have not. Once the "package" from her daughter has arrived I'll pile the ornaments at the front door and email her "front porch". That's it. I have not initiated any contact at all.


I'd leave her a note letting her know this is a one time courtesy and that she now has no reason to contact you in the future.


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## 2ntnuf

MJJEAN said:


> I wouldn't be sending it to her or arranging for a pcik-up/drop-off for her. I'd be doing it for me and for her daughter. For me, I don't want the responsibility or liability. Getting the package out of my possession is the end goal. For her daughter because the daughter is innocent and doesn't deserve the disappointment of a lost gift.
> 
> How to handle a package shipped to the wrong address really depends on where in the process you are. If you just sent the order some companies allow you to edit the order within a certain timeframe. Others you have to call customer service. If you're further along in the process there may be nothing anyone can do. For example, I didn't figure out my package was sent to the wrong address until a few hours later when I got the shipping confirmation email with tracking number. There wasn't a thing I could do at that point. It was already sent out and scanned in at the USPS.
> 
> 
> 
> I'd leave her a note letting her know this is a one time courtesy and that she now has no reason to contact you in the future.


I get it. I do. However, without a strong stance, this will not end. She isn't his daughter. He has no obligation to her. When a marriage like that ends, it's over. All of that step daddy stuff is done, unless he legally became her father. 

Keep on and your ex will have you sexually assaulting your step daughter. 

This isn't a nicey nice game.


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## Decorum

sczinger said:


> a complete and utter ankle.


Is that really a saying? ha ha.


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## sczinger

Decorum said:


> Is that really a saying? ha ha.


Yes it is. Ankle is approximately 3 feet lower than a ****


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## sczinger

So everything is on the front porch the ornaments the packages. I simply sent a message that said Monday morning front porch. There is now absolutely no reason for me to hear from her again.


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## Marc878

There is an easy fix. Block her. You really don't need any breadcrumbs 

I suspect that what this is


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## Mr.Married

"Wishing You a Warm Christmas"

no emoji required.


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## Cynthia

sczinger said:


> So everything is on the front porch the ornaments the packages. I simply sent a message that said Monday morning front porch. There is now absolutely no reason for me to hear from her again.


You didn't think there was a reason to hear from her the last couple of times. It is important to be clear about our boundaries. I don't think blocking her is enough. Tell her that she is never to contact you again for any reason whatsoever and that if she does contact you again you won't respond. Then follow through and never respond to her again.

I assume you are in Vegas now, so you don't know if she picked up the package or not. I hope you are having a good trip.


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## sczinger

@CynthiaDe I came back last week and put her stuff out Sunday night for Monday morning pickup. I really don't think I will hear from her again. If I do I will just ignore her altogether.


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## honcho

sczinger said:


> @CynthiaDe I came back last week and put her stuff out Sunday night for Monday morning pickup. I really don't think I will hear from her again. If I do I will just ignore her altogether.


You'll hear from her again, she's like the bad car salesman that will just not go away. Your divorce was final in 2018 if I'm not mistaken. Don't be shocked if the end of January or early February you get contacted again asking is some tax form she can't find came your place or something along similar lines.


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## sczinger

@honcho. We had no kids, no bank accounts and no real estate together. We shared nothing but each other. There is now nothing that I have that she wants, including a faithful husband...


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## jlg07

Did she get the packages?


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## Cynthia

I hope we are all wrong about your ex contacting you again in the future.


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## sczinger

jlg07 said:


> Did she get the packages?


She did pickup the packages and all the ornaments I set out. It's funny really. I put up the tree on on Sunday in the front window of the house. I accidentally left the drapes open so when she got the ornaments from the porch she had to have noticed the Christmas tree with no ornaments or lights. I kinda like it that way. Wondering if she thought I had nothing left in which to decorate the tree... Christmas ornaments and lights are like Doritos. They'll make more.


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## Cynthia

sczinger said:


> Wondering if she thought I had nothing left in which to decorate the tree...


It doesn't matter what she thinks about anything as long as she doesn't try to involve you in her life.


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## sczinger

CynthiaDe said:


> It doesn't matter what she thinks about anything as long as she doesn't try to involve you in her life.


I feel confident she thought nothing... I also feel confident she will not try to contact me again. She is blocked on all possible avenues...


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## jlg07

@szinger, hopefully she is done, and will leave you alone to live a much better life! Merry Christmas!


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## SunCMars

MJJEAN said:


> Maybe the delivery address on her Amazon or whatever service she used wasn't updated after the divorce and she didn't realize until the order had been placed. That actually happened to me this year.
> 
> Maybe she forgot the Christmas ornaments and remembered when she started thinking about her holiday plans this year. Might have nothing to do with trying to get involved with you again.


This thought, this reason immediately came to mind.... to me.

You did not come to mind for her. 

......................................................

Just because.....

Just because she is in your mind, lives in your thoughts does not mean the opposite.

When her mind left, it left with the OM. :frown2:

Leaving you.......OOM. 
Out of mind, her mind.

You were, are an afterthought, the kind that leaves a bad taste.... to her. :|

Forget.
Forget her, she did that with you ... many moons ago.


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## SunCMars

sczinger said:


> She did pickup the packages and all the ornaments I set out. It's funny really. I put up the tree on on Sunday in the front window of the house. I accidentally left the drapes open so when she got the ornaments from the porch she had to have noticed the Christmas tree with no ornaments or lights. I kinda like it that way. Wondering if she thought I had nothing left in which to decorate the tree... Christmas ornaments and lights are like Doritos. They'll make more.


I llke this post a lot.

While having a tree that was all dolled and lamped up would have been nice, it would come across as cheesy, show off-eee to her.

It would been seen as presumptuous and viewed as a nose flick, a 'Nah-Nah' to her.

Having a bare tree, a Charlie Brown tree likely stuck with her.
The sight and memory of it would 'likely' make her pine, would needle her forever.

If...

If she has a soul, has a shred of empathy.

Ach! Maybe not.


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## jlg07

@sczinger, here is the REAL question -- has she contacted you anymore??? Hopefully she is leaving you alone.


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## AVR1962

It is wise for you to make no contact at this point. Eventually though as you move on with life forgiving her and truly letting all of this go so that you could be civil to one another is to your advantage. When we forgive those who hurt us it frees us, I did not understand that for a very long time and I held onto hurt for years towards my ex. That hurt taints the way you see others of the opposite sex. You are not open and receiving of the possibility of true relationships with someone you feel you love, or want to love. It is like saying, "Come closer....wait, you are close enough." We cover our hearts, build a wall, want to love again thinking we just have to find that right person but because we cannot allow love in we actually reject the very thing we seek.


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## sczinger

jlg07 said:


> @sczinger, here is the REAL question -- has she contacted you anymore??? Hopefully she is leaving you alone.


No. Not a peep.


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## sczinger

AVR1962 said:


> It is wise for you to make no contact at this point. Eventually though as you move on with life forgiving her and truly letting all of this go so that you could be civil to one another is to your advantage. When we forgive those who hurt us it frees us, I did not understand that for a very long time and I held onto hurt for years towards my ex. That hurt taints the way you see others of the opposite sex. You are not open and receiving of the possibility of true relationships with someone you feel you love, or want to love. It is like saying, "Come closer....wait, you are close enough." We cover our hearts, build a wall, want to love again thinking we just have to find that right person but because we cannot allow love in we actually reject the very thing we seek.


I have already experienced this. I have met a few woman, and dated. Made a concerted effort not to compare, but still was doing just that. I broke it off, and they were doing nothing wrong except saying they thought I was a man they could fall in love with. It spooked me. It's not fair for me nor her to be in a serious relationship right now. But they still grow attached pretty quickly, and my current state of mind ruins it. I don't hate that she left me. That is fading more and more with each passing day. I do, however, find myself feeling great disdain that she put me in this position emotionally. This too shall pass.


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