# Really need some help on this one



## Slave601 (Feb 2, 2019)

Well it’s long but maybe someone will take the time to read and help out on this situation.

Ok I’ve been dating this girl for over a year. We were very close and very much into each other.

I was away for work and things got bad between us. Well we decided to work things out the end of October of 2018 and I decided to take off the rest of the year and mend things with her. 

So I get to her home on the 2nd of November and there was a little tention in the air but we went out and had a few drinks and it was like nothing bad had ever happened. 

We was right back in the groove in just a few hours. We slept together sexually the first night and so on and so on for basically 3 weeks. 

Towards the end of November the arguing started back up and I decided it was time to go back home. 

We were both upset and she thought we was making a mistake and threw out the “what if I’m pregnant” phrase. She then informed me she hadn’t been on her birth control in over a month she says. 

We weren’t using any protecting and I was “depositing” in her every time. Well I was so confused as to why she would do that but I left anyways. 

About 4 days later she calls me which before I even got home we decided maybe we reacted out of feelings instead of thinking on things so we were talking everyday. 

She informs me she’s pregnant and is very very upset. I decided to drive back because she was highly upset. Now we live 10 hours apart and I didn’t wanna just drive right back. 

So a few days go by and I drive up to her town. I get there and she says the doctors told her she was 5 weeks pregnant from the first day of her last period. Her period is at the end of the month.

But basically the conceived around the first/second week of November. I was like ok it’s time to man up and do right in the situation. Wel about 10 days go by and we got into a huge fight because I wouldn’t move to her city. I have other kids where I live and I can’t just walk away from that. 

Well I end up leaving again and we don’t talk for 2 weeks. When I do reach back out to her I tell her I don’t see it working but I will help out financially and be there for my child.

She lashes out at me saying she was 3 weeks pregnant before I even got there don’t ever speak to her again.

I asked for proof since she said she had an ultrasound appointment proving I wasn’t the father. She said she had no proof. Now being she had her so called ultrasound around the 20th of December and if she was 3 weeks pregnant before I got there she woulda been like 10-11 weeks along. 

She has insurance and was using a very well known obgyn in town but has no proof of the ultrasound?? Also I was with her from nov 2nd-dec10th and didn’t see the first symptoms till right around the 8th -10th and it was nipple/breast tinderness a very heightened sense of smell and fatigue. All those happened around the same time frame.

I know she wasn’t aware she was pregnant before the test because we went out on the weekend and she drank wine with our dinners during the week. Once she found out she was it was nothing but healthy habits after that. 

I’m going to file for paternity but man it’s a long wait. I haven’t spoken to her in about a month now but I really deep down feel it’s my child. Vent over lol


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Ever considered a vasectomy?

Ever considered a paternity test after the baby is born to be certain it's yours?

Ever considered getting involved with a sane woman?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The can do in-utero DNA testing -- see if it IS yours.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Welcome to TAM, we can try to help, but we need more info. 

Note that more people will read your post if you add paragraphs, as right now it is a huge wall of text.

So she is saying that she is using the ultrasound to base her conception date? 
I have never heard of ultrasound establishing paternity.

You will need her to have a paternity test done, you have no other choice.

Also, had you agreed it was ok to see other people during your “break”?


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## Slave601 (Feb 2, 2019)

Sorry for the string of one long text. I asked her right off the bat if there was a chance the baby could be anyone else’s and immediately her response was no. After the fight a few weeks later she told me her sonogram showed her 3 weeks further along then when I had arrived at her home. When I asked for proof she gave me none. Told me they did not give her a picture or a print out of paper work any kind of proof.


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## Slave601 (Feb 2, 2019)

I really just don’t understand how someone could be almost 9-10 weeks and show no symptoms if she would have been pregnant before I had gotten there. When she did start to show symptoms it was the usual symptoms around what I’ve read 5-6 weeks like she was suppose to be. I know everyone is different but as many people I’ve talked to no one has said they did not receive a picture at their ultrasound. My family and friends believe she’s lying to me about the baby not being mine. I don’t know


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## Violet28 (Oct 4, 2018)

Not a lot you can do until you're able to get a paternity test.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Slave601 said:


> Well it’s long but maybe someone will take the time to read and help out on this situation. Ok I’ve been dating this girl for over a year. We were very close and very much into each other. I was away for work and things got bad between us. Well we decided to work things out the end of October of 2018 and I decided to take off the rest of the year and mend things with her. So I get to her home on the 2nd of November and there was a little tention in the air but we went out and had a few drinks and it was like nothing bad had ever happened. We was right back in the groove in just a few hours. We slept together sexually the first night and so on and so on for basically 3 weeks. Towards the end of November the arguing started back up and I decided it was time to go back home. We were both upset and she thought we was making a mistake and threw out the “what if I’m pregnant” phrase. She then informed me she hadn’t been on her birth control in over a month she says. We weren’t using any protecting and I was “depositing” in her every time. Well I was so confused as to why she would do that but I left anyways. About 4 days later she calls me which before I even got home we decided maybe we reacted out of feelings instead of thinking on things so we were talking everyday. She informs me she’s pregnant and is very very upset. I decided to drive back because she was highly upset. Now we live 10 hours apart and I didn’t wanna just drive right back. So a few days go by and I drive up to her town. I get there and she says the doctors told her she was 5 weeks pregnant from the first day of her last period. Her period is at the end of the month. But basically the conceived around the first/second week of November. I was like ok it’s time to man up and do right in the situation. Wel about 10 days go by and we got into a huge fight because I wouldn’t move to her city. I have other kids where I live and I can’t just walk away from that. Well I end up leaving again and we don’t talk for 2 weeks. When I do reach back out to her I tell her I don’t see it working but I will help out financially and be there for my child. She lashes out at me saying she was 3 weeks pregnant before I even got there don’t ever speak to her again. I asked for proof since she said she had an ultrasound appointment proving I wasn’t the father. She said she had no proof. Now being she had her so called ultrasound around the 20th of December and if she was 3 weeks pregnant before I got there she woulda been like 10-11 weeks along. She has insurance and was using a very well known obgyn in town but has no proof of the ultrasound?? Also I was with her from nov 2nd-dec10th and didn’t see the first symptoms till right around the 8th -10th and it was nipple/breast tinderness a very heightened sense of smell and fatigue. All those happened around the same time frame. I know she wasn’t aware she was pregnant before the test because we went out on the weekend and she drank wine with our dinners during the week. Once she found out she was it was nothing but healthy habits after that. I’m going to file for paternity but man it’s a long wait. I haven’t spoken to her in about a month now but I really deep down feel it’s my child. Vent over lol



You both sound totally irresponsible, the lol gives it away at the end. This is not a bloody laughing matter.

AND who wants to be in a relationship with a woman who is playing games with you? As far as I know, ultra sounds do not prove anything.
How did you meet?
You say you have kids where you live, are you still with the mother or have your divorced? YOU must insist on a DNA test when the kid is born. 

I sure hope that you don't have a mess waiting for you in your own city? and now you have gone and created another one.

I. insist on paternity tests, times, dates, etc. Were you exclusive?
2. Continue working on yourself, find out from going to counselling why you got involved with this woman who it appears to me is trying to pull you in. Why not have protection?
3. Get a std test done
4. How old are your kids in the place you live? How many do you have? Where is their mother? What is your relationship with their mother?


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## Slave601 (Feb 2, 2019)

1st. I am divorced. 
2nd. my children are 3, 5 and 12
3rd. I have been with the girl for over 1 1/2 years and she had always been on birth control and that’s just how we had sex. 
4th. we met each other after we both went through divorces. Her husband cheated on her my wife and I divorced over financial issues.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Slave601 said:


> Sorry for the string of one long text. I asked her right off the bat if there was a chance the baby could be anyone else’s and immediately her response was no.


LOL. Then it must be true. 

You, kind sir, have been played. And I suspect - regardless of her drinking a couple of glasses of wine so "she couldn't have known she was pregnant" - that she definitely *suspected *she was pregnant or knew it for sure before you even blew into town last November.

Either she was already pregnant or she purposefully went off her birth control to GET pregnant by you. In either event, she's a snake and can't be trusted but if you were more responsible and not so selfish, you wouldn't *be* in this position. Contraception is EVERYONE'S responsibility.

Yes, you're completely irresponsible and selfish for not even thinking about contraception and just assuming someone else was taking care of it. Jeez, you're not some dumb-ass 17 year old boy in the backseat of his daddy's SUV having 12-second sex with a cheerleader and should know better.. You already have enough kids you're paying for and not living with and here you are possibly making yet _another_ one you'll pay for and not live with. So yes, you're *irresponsible*. Whatever poster it was that recommended you should get a *vasectomy* wins the internet for the day. 

Don't be a fool and just assume this baby is yours. Your 'girlfriend' is a lying, sneaky witch whose too damned old to be playing these childish games with the baby's paternity and/or going off birth control and not telling you. It's been one big game for this nutjob. All you can do is hope to God she's NOT carrying your kid or you're going to be stuck having this luantic in your life for the next 18+ years.

This is what irresponsibility GETS you. Call your Urologist.and make that appointment NOW.


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## Slave601 (Feb 2, 2019)

Yes it was irresponsible of me. I know somewhere I’m being lied to. I never would have thought she would have turned into this person that she is now being as close as we were for 1 1/2 years. It hurts and it’s embarrassing to have told my family and friends we were expecting a child and then all this. I took her word at first about the baby being mine and planned to start a life together and it back fired in my face over a huge fight. I just don’t understand how someone could lie about paternity of a baby


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Slave601 said:


> Yes it was irresponsible of me. I know somewhere I’m being lied to. I never would have thought she would have turned into this person that she is now being as close as we were for 1 1/2 years. It hurts and it’s embarrassing to have told my family and friends we were expecting a child and then all this. I took her word at first about the baby being mine and planned to start a life together and it back fired in my face over a huge fight. I just don’t understand how someone could lie about paternity of a baby


She may or may not have lied, time will tell when you get the paternity test. But honestly, you have 3 small ones, and are probably financially responsible for them, why would you get into another relationship and have more kids?


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