# Fight with ex and now we're not talking, 1 daughter



## whitehawk

Hi people.
We split nearly 4yrs ago and we're divorced now.
Right through though we've kept a good working relationship for my daughter and we've done very very well compared to many l read about .
l could come around any time , spend time there with my d so that she didn't have to go out all the time to spend time with me , ex and l were often there both and talked ok. Yeah that part was weird and l often wondered if it was right and yeah it did often set me back too.
But for my d it worked out really well. But d would still come stay wkends or any other time she felt like too and ex and l were always in touch about d things .

But about 6wks ago we had a fight while l was over there. She even pretended to call the cops ad told me to get out, she went of her nut , and in front of d.
She hadn't been paying one of our credit cards a few mths and l was in the middle of financing my house so if they found out about the card not being paid it could fk my loan.and l've been trying all this time toget back on my feet from the divorce, so yeah l raised my voice a bit l was pretty pissed but not that much and wasn't yelling.

But since, ex hasn't answered any text and l'm worried about things we d bc ex and l aren't communicating. Ther'sa lot of stuff going on for d right now.
l haven't been in the house since and l either pick d up from school and we go out from there or she meets me out front.
l hate it like that bc it's harder on d and makes her worry a bit about mum and l and the sitch.
d's 15. 
l think ex's om might also be pushing her to break contact . ex has been a different person since she's been with him.

Anyway 2wks ago l was dropping d off , sitting out in the car talking and ex came out to get something out of her car , she looked up and gave a nice smile and with ex this usually means she wants to make a mense but we're still not in touch again yet .
l text ex a few times about d things after the fight over a few wks, no reply. so even though she smiled that night ,l haven't text her again yet . l've been worried it might push her away more. d was in the car to that night and ex might've only smiled at her , l couldn't tell for sure. She did look at my eyes a bit though but ex is slightly cross eyed and it can be hard to tell.

Thing is, l hate it like this for d and we are for sure not being able to keep up and do as good a job as we could before in looking after her.
l'm just not sure how to get things back on track.

Any thoughts or suggestions , appreciated .


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## Acoa

whitehawk said:


> Thing is, l hate it like this for d and we are for sure not being able to keep up and do as good a job as we could before in looking after her.
> l'm just not sure how to get things back on track.
> 
> Any thoughts or suggestions , appreciated .


If you are divorced, why do you still have joint debt? Ownership over marital debt should have been decided in the separation of assets. Get your name off the account. I realize sometimes the credit card company doesn't let you off the hook on a joint account, but you could talk with them and make sure she can't add any new debt to the joint account. To keep it off your credit report you could arrange to move the principle balance to a new account and you pay it off. Leave her with the late payment fees and penalties. Then you can get a judgment against her to repay you that principal if it was 'her' debt in the divorce. 

Focus on your daughter. Your ex is nothing to you but the mother of your child. Don't worry about having a 'good' relationship with her. Focus on your joint parenting plan. Hopefully you have joint legal custody, if not you may want to talk with a lawyer about going back to court to get it. Do you have a visitation agreement? If yes, then follow it. To the letter. If your ex interferes you can take her to court. You have rights as a father, assert them.


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## 225985

Acoa said:


> If you are divorced, why do you still have joint debt?


Exactly right. It was the very first thing that came to mind. I did not even read the rest of the post.


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## whitehawk

Thanks for the tips on the card thing but thankfully that's all sorted now. It was just a set up we had so l won't go into that further now.

But the thing is l'd like to be back on talking terms with ex. Not sure how to approach that.
As l said it's about getting back to how we were parenting since day one, before the fight .
The way things are now , is no where near as good and it's effecting do a bit too.

There's no problem seeing d any time l want and d can call me any time she wants to come and pick her up and l still come and go for her just like before.
But l don't go in the house anymore since the fight and ex and l don't help each other out any more with d the way we use to as l say. 
And there are a lot of things going on for d right now that ex and l should be talking about as her parents as l say , but this whole not talking thing is making things very awkward


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## jld

Apologize for raising your voice to her. She obviously felt threatened if she said she was going to call the police.

I am not sure if you understand how threatened a woman can feel by a man's anger. Do you have any history of domestic violence?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk

The thing is , yeah l do but yeah we did have a lot of bad fights especially in our last few years with stresses and all and then lgot bd
and she wants to start seeing someone else so natually that wasn't a good time at alllllll.

But the other thing is . it's hard being a male sometimes bc she can go off her nut like she did that night but we're suppose to stay calm.while they do or say anything they want and as loud as they want.
Yeah , and that's really easy too , NOT.

But no that particular fight over the cc wasn't hadly anything at all . l've actually thought she went off like that to cover that fact that she fkd it up.

Anyway . l just want us communicating again for d .like we have for 3 and 1/2 yrs before this.
l apologized a few days later after the fight but l think it was a bit soon.
Been thinking of trying it again and explaining we need to be communicating for our d. . Been about 7wks now.


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## EleGirl

Just start interact with her on small things. Over time increase the interaction.


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## turnera

It sounds to me like you wanted to have your cake and eat it too. You are divorced. Your daughter needs to KNOW you are divorced and you are confusing her impression of what relationships should look like. If you want your daughter to grow up knowing how to look for a good man and not accept bad treatment, you have to start the ball rolling. Start taking your daughter to your house for your time with her; let her understand what divorce really looks like. Let her understand what parents dating other people looks like. Keep a professional distance from your ex.


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## lifeistooshort

So do you or do you not have a history of domestic violence?

As in have you hit or otherwise threatened her?

That wasn't clear to me in your response.

If so you'll have to accept that there will be less tolerance for you getting upset because you've been violent, so the possibility is always there.

If you want to maintain a good relationship with her you'll have to control yourself. 

If a guy had been violent toward me and he raised his voice I'd cut him off too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk

Seemed pretty clear to me . NO.

Thanks for that el and yeah l'll try that.

Tu , ldk how a little bit of communication about our d is cake and eat it too. l call co parenting and as l also said , looking after her as best we can with this situation..
Anyway as l said earlier you missed it. She usually is at my place. But l still have to pick her up and come and go or go in for a few minutes here and there at her place.


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## turnera

whitehawk said:


> Tu , ldk how a little bit of communication about our d is cake and eat it too. l call co parenting and as l also said , looking after her as best we can with this situation..
> Anyway as l said earlier you missed it. She usually is at my place. But l still have to pick her up and come and go or go in for a few minutes here and there at her place.


You said:


> l could come around any time , spend time there with my d so that she didn't have to go out all the time to spend time with me , *ex and l were often there both* and talked ok. Yeah that part was weird and l often wondered if it was right and yeah it did often set me back too.
> But for my d it worked out really well. But d would still come stay wkends or any other time she felt like too and ex and l were always in touch about d things .


Sounded to me like you've been spending a lot of time at you ex's.


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## lifeistooshort

You said "yeah I do, but yeah we did have a lot of bad fights" when asked whether you had a domestic violence history


That was not clear to me regarding violence.


Thanks for clearing it up.

I agree with turnera that it sounds like you've been spending a lot of time over there. That may not be reasonable to continue when new partners come into the picture.

I speak as one with a good bit of experience with poor ex boundaries (hb, not me).

I'm guessing you're not seeing anyone?

As for your ex, have you explicitly apologized for raising your voice? How does she typically react when you discuss things calmly?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk

turnera said:


> You said:
> Sounded to me like you've been spending a lot of time at you ex's.



T , l wish people would try and help with the question itself ! But l like El's approach , l'm just wondering though if l should leave ex be a bit longer yet and give her a little bit more time first though ?

But yeah a bit of time there, not much , few hours a wk maybe in the past , usually when ex isn't home though , just so that it one , made it a bit easier for d not having to go out all the time over to mine or whatever but two , just to share her other home with her a little too, she could show me stuff and her room and things you know . 
Or if l go to pick d up l'd also usually go in for a minute while she was getting ready. It was all very chilled. we've been admired and congratulated many times by many people and even professionals in this very field, for the job we were doing and that we kept our bs aside for the sake of our d.
When l see what most couples put them selves and their kids through , it turns my stomach. So shoot me for not wanting that for mine.


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## turnera

whitehawk said:


> T , l wish people would try and help with the question itself ! But l like El's approach , l'm just wondering though if l should leave ex be a bit longer yet and give her a little bit more time first though ?


You are divorced. Why are you trying to fix it up so you get to spend more time with your ex?

IMO, what you should strive for with your ex is INDIFFERENCE.

Meaning, if you're having a fight with your ex, you still have an emotional connection with her. You still WANT something from her. Even if YOU don't realize you want it.

Get that sorted out in therapy.

fwiw, I admire you for trying to be CIVIL with your wife. But spending time with her? No. That's over. It's confusing to your kid. Your kid needs to see what real divorce looks like (hopefully so she strives to not go there).


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## 225985

jld said:


> Apologize for raising your voice to her. She obviously felt threatened if she said she was going to call the police.
> 
> 
> 
> I am not sure if you understand how threatened a woman can feel by a man's anger. Do you have any history of domestic violence?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




No, she was manipulating him. If she was in fear she would have called the police. He needs to stop being needy.


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## turnera

blueinbr said:


> No, she was manipulating him. If she was in fear she would have called the police. He needs to stop being needy.


Not necessarily. it would take a LOT before I'd feel concerned enough - and willing to face the backlash he'd create - before I would call the police on my H. Because I'd have to face my fear over angering my H before I could call the police.


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## whitehawk

Yeah l did worry about anytime l was around ex from that angle for sure lt was confusing to me actually too but like l've said , it was hardly any time at all usually just me and d.
And believe me we've all been at this 3 1/2 yrs , d knows all about what it's about..
And sadly even if they don't my god some of the horror stories about their friends and their parents . Poor kids , l think out of all d's crew of 20 or 30 friends there's maybe one or two who's parents are still together. Fkd up world these days isn't it..
But no l don't want any time with ex l think that's pretty clear. l want co parenting back.
l'm seeing someone else , to hell with ex. But l do want that.


PS ,for the life of me l can't see what's needy about just wanting to be good parents for our d .. Like l said , we've been complimented by many even professionals. l wish people would read.things.


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## 225985

Did you close the joint credit card? Or was it your card that she is supposed to pay. That arrangement is not typical and you disregarded our questions about it that are relevant to this thread.


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## turnera

I've read it - twice. I just don't understand how, if you two are 'so evolved,' you are having such a huge blowout. 

Something isn't adding up.


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## whitehawk

Oh man , This is very confusing.
l would have thought women of all people would appreciated a good parenting arrangement but it seems they have the most problem with it grasping the idea.

So what do you prefer , to be fighting and not talking as you come and go for kids with your ex?
To not see him at all or discuss anything at all with him about your kids ?
How does your set up work then , don't you talk to your ex at all about your kids.? How does that work out , doesn't that just make it all even harder exspecially on the kids ?

Just wondering about theropy too , what do you suppose l tell them l'm there for .
Hi , l'm inlove with somebody else these days but l do still want a good parenting arrangement with my ex- am l sane please , or needy , or is there something wrong with me ?
Hmm, wonder what they'd say.

And incase no body understands what professionals in this field means , ahh , they were therapists in this very field that complimented the job we were doing .


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## turnera

I prefer my EX-husband to be OUT of my life completely except for dropping off and picking up our children. I want him out of my life. MAYBE together for birthday parties or Christmas.

And I would have complimented you, too. UNTIL you started HUGE arguments with your ex. Over stupid stuff.


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## turnera

You obviously came her to be congratulated on your 'wonderful' close relationship and are astonished to hear not everyone agrees with you. Do you want advice or do you want to be sided with?


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## EleGirl

[QUOTE=whitehawk,

I remember your story very clearly. You have had a good working parenting relationship from the very start. 

You have backed off for a bit. Now just start interacting with her slowly. 

I would also suggest that you start spending less time with your daughter at your ex's home. It's extremely likely that the guy she's with now is not happy about you being there, even if it's just you and your d. So that puts pressure on your ex.



Now about what other people's arrangements are like.. with my ex I had to put something in the divorce papers that was not to come to my door even. Why? Because when he'd pick up our son he'd come into my home, go through all the rooms and making snide comments. He would often start harassing and badgering me. It's all dependent on the situation. I wish that things had not been like that because I think it was very hard on our son. But our son watching his father mistreat me was hard on our son too.


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## whitehawk

blueinbr said:


> No, she was manipulating him. If she was in fear she would have called the police. He needs to stop being needy.




l suspected te same or a way out bc she's getting pressured from om to break contact with me. Or as l said , to cover up effg up the card payments.
There was zero reason to call the police . right through all this we've had a fdw minor tiffs like this one but nothing at all really and considering we've done very well.
That's one reason thsi was such a shock.


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## 225985

whitehawk said:


> .
> 
> So what do you prefer , to be fighting and not talking as you come and go for kids with your ex?
> 
> .



Like you have now.


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## whitehawk

EleGirl said:


> whitehawk said:
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you El , muchly appreciated your ideas and getting straight to thr crux of the sitch.l remember you too and always appreciated the help you offer people , l hope you've been keeping well and life's been good .:
> Funny you should say about the om , l suspected too , l've noticed a lot of things in ex that just aren't her, even sudden total about flips as if someones got in her ear and this was def' one.l even actually just said that above there in the last post..
> 
> Thanks for the tips El, l'm going to try that and thanks again, hopefully we can get back on track with this. l really couldn't believe everything we'd worked for was just blown to bits like that and there's been a big difference in things with d since too, mostly not good either. and she's feeling it and talked to me a bit about it.. She was secure before bc me and mum were always still good but for the first time in all this she's been a little bit worried and that means much ,more worried inside than what she shows me.
> 
> l'm sorry for you and your son especially things aren't a bit better with ex . hope everything else is good. all the best.
Click to expand...


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## whitehawk

turnera said:


> You obviously came her to be congratulated on your 'wonderful' close relationship and are astonished to hear not everyone agrees with you. Do you want advice or do you want to be sided with?



Please get real , just a grasp of the situation and my questions would do nicely thanks. .

And you didn't answer my last question , so what sort of co parenting relationship doyou have with your ex then , and how is that working out ?


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## 225985

whitehawk said:


> PS ,for the life of me l can't see what's needy about just wanting to be good parents for our d .. Like l said , we've been complimented by many even professionals. l wish people would read.things.



You keep talking about this magical better way. I scanned your many threads. What is the custody arrangement?

And who are these many professionals that you keep feeling the need to quote? Are these the free ones that call at random hours and talk about goals?

Btw what country are you in?


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## whitehawk

Wow that was helpful..
ps ,l don't have the need to quote any body just trying to explain, or the need or time for this bs anymore either soooooo . byeeeeee now.


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## frusdil

whitehawk said:


> Anyway as l said earlier you missed it. She usually is at my place. But l still have to pick her up and come and go or go in for a few minutes here and there at her place.


Why do you have to go in? Your daughter is 15, more than capable of coming out to your car on her own.

My husband has a mostly amicable co-parenting relationship with his ex wife. On drop offs, their daughter will sometimes want to show him something at the ex's home or vice versa, that's fine. Sometimes we go in and chat for a couple of minutes about the week and anything he/she needs to know at changeover. That's IT.

There is NO WAY I would allow his ex to spend ANY time in our home, while we are not here, so it's just her and their daughter. No way. I also said to my husband just recently, that I don't want SD having a key to our home when she's older, simply because I know that her mother would come over here while we're out/away, and have a good old snoop through our stuff. Not. Gonna. Happen.

We too have been praised by professionals, including school teachers in the past about how great our co-parenting is. We don't have to be best buddy's to do it.


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## whitehawk

Thanks for that fru . back on track hopefully.
so you don't think there's any need for me to go in then ?
l haven't been this last 7wks . D has been a little bit worried about it but we had a talk and l explained it has been awkward bc mum and l are divorced and l often felt weird about it . d was sort of ok .

Anyway interesting and thanks agin.

Talking to a guy in another forum and they even go away together him and his' ex. That's getting too weird though for me , and way too much ex.
Once ex asked me if l wanted to come on a day trip , 12hours , at the time l wasn't seeing anyone else but she was with om.
l said no sorry l don't feel good about it you being with someone else now and all. So l didn't go. 

Glad you guys have a good thing going in this mess , happy for you and especially the kids. 
All the best.


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## jld

Do you feel you have accepted the divorce, Whitehawk? Really accepted that it is over? Has your daughter accepted it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera

Look, I understand that you enjoyed the friendly relationship you had and that you still had the 'right' to come and go in your ex's house. I would have enjoyed that too. Until my ex started dating someone else OR if I had become good friends with my ex's new partner. Those are the only two scenarios in which I feel it's kosher to be able to come and go in my ex's place.

Things change. In your case, things HAVE changed, and your ex now has a new partner, and that makes having you come and go uncomfortable. It's best just to accept that and come up with a new reality, so as to help your daughter.

And the fact that you can still have such huge fights with your ex tells me that your relationship wasn't as healthy as you thought it was, that you hadn't 'moved on' like you thought you had. Just one more reason to put distance between you and her.

Does she want you to hang out with her and her boyfriend? Apparently. Why not? Two guys still into her? Good ego stroke for her. Less guilt for her. See? We're all good. 

Until we aren't. And I agree with others that her boyfriend has likely been stressing to her that this arrangement is no longer cool, so her emotions are flustered. She can no longer eat cake, either.

This is just how divorces go, ok? You set up what's best for the kids...until it isn't. And then you come up with a new plan that's best for the kids. And show the kids that this is what being an adult is all about - assessing the situation and adapting as needed. Note that should not include huge fights where people get all bent out of shape and STAY that way.

Remember, she is learning how to be an adult by watching you. 

So my best advice is this: make a strong effort to meet and/or get to know her new boyfriend. As 'partners' in your daughter's future. Will he stay in the picture? Who knows; that's what dating's for. But in the meantime, if you can show him that you will (1) be respectful to all involved, (2) maintain a respectable distance from your ex and her relationships, (3) be willing to set up a new arrangement with your daughter, he will be less likely to feel threatened that you're still around, and you'll probably avoid fights in the future. And your daughter will benefit.


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## whitehawk

jld said:


> Do you feel you have accepted the divorce, Whitehawk? Really accepted that it is over? Has your daughter accepted it?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



l think in this last 6mths , 12 maybe , yeah l do . l'm not attracted to w anymore or even like this new her very much either which helps a lot to but , non of this was easy though non the less.

Point now is though, l know we were doing a much better job with d before this fight but since all this there's been a lot of things come and go l'm worried about with d and eveb divorced parents should still be on it together surely , well we always were and it was 10 fold better for d.


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## bandit.45

Whitehawk you went off half-c0cked, without understanding how credit works, and accused your wife of messing up your chances of not getting this loan you wanted. You were in the wrong, and you need to acknowledge it and tell your ex that you are sorry for messing up the friendly co-parenting relationship you two had. I think if you show her some contriteness, and make all future interactions business-only, then you have a chance at repairing this. 

She had every right in the world to threaten to call the cops on you. You are not her husband anymore. You do not get to enjoy the same level of accommodation that she used to have to show you when she was your wife. Those days are gone. You two are not friends. Maybe some day, if you get your act together and she gets herself settled, then maybe you have a shot at being friends but not now. For now it should be business. You should not be hanging out at her house. You should not be imposing yourself on her one moment more than is needed in any given situation. 

And I think you are deluding yourself when you tell us you have no residual feelings for her. You may be able to fool some people with your rhetoric, but not us. You are actually quite transparent.


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## whitehawk

Thanks for that T but no , not a hope in hell l hang out with ex and the bf , foget it , l have nothing what so ever to do with her or her life in 3 and 1/2 yrs.or her mine. l don't even know the guy or anything about them or her us and my gf l and don't want to.
l'm not sure where you got that idea but nooooooo thank you. rather eat glass, as lsaid a few hours here and theere with d at her house but usually ex usn;t even there anyway.
Early on , this is like 2 3 yrs ago , l did make the mistake of spending a bit too much time over there even had tea and everything ex would offer if she was there but still it was about d , not ex . the whole ex side was just plain weird and l never knew if l was doing the right thing being there that's for sure.

But no , of course our relationship wasn't happy and healthy anymore or we wouldn't got divorced. we had a lot [email protected] going on in our last few yrs, even dealing with each other for d , it wasn't easy , not at all . but it was only ever d stuff noting what so ever anything else . and the d stuff yeah that was much much eaisier like that and we were doing a much better job. on that westill got a long quite well for a divorced couple. good enough to get the job done anyway.

that's all want in this now .

ps , T l actually nearly threw up at the thought reading that. What in Gods name gave you the idea l wanted to hang out with ex and bf .?
l don;t even know where that came from, what fool would want to live like that . 
Wanna know something funny though , ex is really *****y to d about my gf apparently , go figure that one out. and no she hasn't met her .


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## whitehawk

bandit.45 said:


> Whitehawk you went off half-c0cked, without understanding how credit works, and accused your wife of messing up your chances of not getting this loan you wanted. You were in the wrong, and you need to acknowledge it and tell your ex that you are sorry for messing up the friendly co-parenting relationship you two had. I think if you show her some contriteness, and make all future interactions business-only, then you have a chance at repairing this.
> 
> She had every right in the world to threaten to call the cops on you. You are not her husband anymore. You do not get to enjoy the same level of accommodation that she used to have to show you when she was your wife. Those days are gone. You two are not friends. Maybe some day, if you get your act together and she gets herself settled, then maybe you have a shot at being friends but not now. For now it should be business. You should not be hanging out at her house. You should not be imposing yourself on her one moment more than is needed in any given situation.
> 
> And I think you are deluding yourself when you tell us you have no residual feelings for her. You may be able to fool some people with your rhetoric, but not us. You are actually quite transparent.




Hey BAndit.
yeah l should've stayed calm about that cc thing but hey 3k of my money went missing at a time like that and my loan , house and alll , nother story. But you bet l nearly fell over though but yep ,even so. .

ex , no mate , no interest at all, l actually prefer my gf any day these days . strictly the parent thing. nut it is still hard though for sure.
But none of that matters , it's done. we are here now , reality .new lives. But again , somehow people keep getting the wrong idea of just how much time l was there and who with. or wth ex means , it's not about that l just want our working relationship back for d, that's it.
Again ex was never even there and if she was l'd usually go in a few minutes. it was just too weird.
as l just sauid yeah a few yrs ago l did make the mistake of being there too much with d . l dont think you have jkids man do you , yo might get my point on that if you were a dad not being able to see his daughter at home every night anymore.
but yeah , l agree about being in ex's space and no rights anymore and rara , and l should've been a more care ful that night too for sure . l've known that for a long tiome now. But agin , ex was never usually even around.
99% of contact about d was just text , sometimes we might not talk verbally 3 or 4 mths.
But as l was just saying to T , l have a whole new life now , ex's is nothing to do with mine or mine hers.
But mate , l don't claim ro be doing anything in all this , l'm fumbling through this mess just like evweryone else. and yeah you bet sometimes l still struggle like hell with it , and hurt yeah you bet , so what !!!!! no claims at all there but we were doing a great job with d though.
it was a good system with d we had beleieve me , much better than most and d was doing really well and we bothe alway s knew what was going on . d could come and go very happily , for a fkd up divorced thing , it was the best we could do for her like this.


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## bandit.45

I'm still dubious. I think you give your ex too much real-estate in your head. 

Brother, just be real with her. Fess up to what you did. And let her know it will never happen again, then do your best to be the best ex-husband you can be. Be fair, dependable, honest and unwilling to be disrespected. Be a good dad to the kids. Do those things and you will have no shame or regrets. You cannot control what your ex does or what kind of person she will be from this time forwards.


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## whitehawk

Man , l already apologized as l said but really, even d said l didn't even yell , she was there and even said mum just acted like a psycho .
But l did anyway and have . And l've done damn well , But yeah , ex miss places 3k of my money , l did get a little upset .

doin my best mate , all we can do. cheers


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## 225985

What's with all the "nut" mention? It must be a Brit thing. I am sure your ex thinks you are a nut too. 

We think she occupies too much real estate in your head because we are reading your words. 

You need to be this perfect coparent ex H and you NEED to be her friend. Get beyond needing and move up to wanting. You will be a lot less stressed when the need is gone.


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## bandit.45

whitehawk said:


> Man , l already apologized as l said but really, even d said l didn't even yell , she was there and even said mum just acted like a psycho .
> But l did anyway and have . And l've done damn well , But yeah , ex miss places 3k of my money , l did get a little upset .
> 
> doin my best mate , all we can do. cheers


Then move on and let her deal with it. You did what you could.


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## EleGirl

bandit.45 said:


> Whitehawk you went off half-c0cked, without understanding how credit works, and accused your wife of messing up your chances of not getting this loan you wanted.


I believe that he said that they still had a joint credit card that she used and she was making late payments on it. If it was a joint account it sure could hurt his credit. In that case he has ever right to be concerned and upset.


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## frusdil

whitehawk said:


> Wanna know something funny though , ex is really *****y to d about my gf apparently , go figure that one out. and no she hasn't met her .


Well that's not on, and you should tell your ex to knock it off. She shouldn't be doing that, not only is it immature it's also very unfair.


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## turnera

whitehawk said:


> Thanks for that T but no , not a hope in hell l hang out with ex and the bf , foget it , l have nothing what so ever to do with her or her life in 3 and 1/2 yrs.or her mine. l don't even know the guy or anything about them or her us and my gf l and don't want to.
> l'm not sure where you got that idea but nooooooo thank you. rather eat glass,
> ps , T l actually nearly threw up at the thought reading that. What in Gods name gave you the idea l wanted to hang out with ex and bf .?


Then you have no business walking into the home she brings her boyfriend into any more. And you are showing here that you don't have the emotional maturity to deserve to maintain the old relationship. A mature ex-husband will want his ex to do well and be happy so that his CHILD can grow up happy and well-balanced. The fact that you can't look at a guy your ex is dating and see him just as a decent guy who might someday become your daughter's stepdad, and wish him well (assuming he's on ok person), and be able to get along with him as one adult to another, shows you don't have any business doing anything but picking up and dropping off.

Hell, the fact that you would spend pages and pages here defending your right to do so says enough.

And you thinking of throwing up at the thought of speaking to, being civil to, getting to know your daughter's potential stepfather? Doesn't say much good for you. You talk about how you're all about your daughter's well-being. Think about it.


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