# wedding ceremony



## lissacro (Oct 17, 2017)

Hello everybody!

If you had a possibility, where would you like to organize your wedding ceremony? I am going to try this but don't know what to start with


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

If you're looking to book a nice church, start there. During wedding season, the nicer churches are usually booked well in advance and you'll want to make sure the church is reserved for you so you have a date to work with when you move on to reception venue. Once the reception venue is booked, start working on caterers, florist, photographer, etc.

A friend of mine married in a compound designed for weddings. One section was set up for the ceremony. A separate section was set up for the reception. The venue provided the decorations, the seating, the dinnerware, etc. etc. My friend only had to arrange an officiant, the caterer, the photographer, the DJ, and the bar.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

My advice remains to worry less about the wedding and more about the marriage.
beyond that the last 2 weddings I attended were in a old factory, and outdoors in a canyon. Both were pleasant comfortable surroundings that weren't pretentious. That allowed the Guests to concentrate on family and friends, and not on some fairy tale theme.
Don't overspend.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Keep it simple and cheap - save the money or spend it on the honeymoon.

We got married in local park. Picnic tables, Subway sandwiches. Cost almost nothing and everyone had a great time. 

Carved ice swans and piles of flowers really don't make the wedding more fun. The preparation just becomes a project management task - extremely stressful and not fun at all.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Both of my prior marriages were ornate church weddings to unconscionable cheaters!

That ain’t ever happening again!

If there is ever another marriage in Ol’ Arb’s future, it will either be the JP’s Office, or will be done discreetly off in some faraway land, probably on some pristine beach!*


----------



## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Keep it simple. We got married in a nice wedding chapel. The ceremony was traditional & officiated by a Presbyterian pastor. Everyone got to wear their best attire. We preferred indoors in consideration to elderly guests, not fighting with environmental elements. Our wedding was formal & small, only 50 guests in a sit-down formal dinner in a restaurant wing, reserved for the dinner & guests. The reception was an open bar, paid for by the groom's parents. We had time to visit & talk to everyone of our guests. In addition, we made sure that the photographer took photos, not only of the wedding itself, but also all guests at the reception. Guests were limited to family & close friends.

My husband & I planned our wedding; no outsiders were involved. We were both working, so we combined our resources together as not to burden anyone with expenses. I got to wear a traditional white wedding gown, white bouquet of flowes, complete with the long veil, and my father walked me to the altar. The groom's parents were participants & walked first. My mother, followed the groom's parents & was escorted by my oldest brother. Groom, fathers, child ring-bearer, my oldest Bro, and best man all wore the same style tuxedos. Only one maid of honor (my sister), best man, & a ring bearer in the wedding. I was 22 years old & my husband was 24 years old; first & only marriage for the two of us. The wedding was paid in full. We started debt-free in our marriage & today are still debt free. That was 37 years ago.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

the best weddings i know of were very simple but memorable.

my mom and dad got married in a church downtown and then had the reception in my grandma and grandpas back yard.

my nephew also got married in his mom/dad's back yard. 

there something about having a wedding or reception in your parents back yard that is romantic and everlasting to me.

but then again, ive had a life long fantasy about driving to las vegas drive through chapel and having Elvis open up the window and give the pronouncement,
so i'm not the best person obviously to give advice.

for my own, it was in a small local church and the reception at a chinese restaurant. that was a great day.


----------



## DaveinOC (Oct 15, 2017)

lissacro said:


> Hello everybody!
> 
> If you had a possibility, where would you like to organize your wedding ceremony? I am going to try this but don't know what to start with


I know this is probably not what you want to hear when planning a perfect ceremony, but keep it absolutely minimal. Wife and I opted to all-in package deal that was only 25~30% of what people around me spend on wedding. We used the rest for down payment on our house 5 years ago in our mid 20s and built about 150k equity on it. the smartest thing we've ever done together (beside making 2 lil angels).


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

This is likely where DD1 is going to get married...

https://www.thorncrown.com/


----------



## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Mr. Nail said:


> My advice remains to worry less about the wedding and more about the marriage.
> beyond that the last 2 weddings I attended were in a old factory, and outdoors in a canyon. Both were pleasant comfortable surroundings that weren't pretentious. That allowed the Guests to concentrate on family and friends, and not on some fairy tale theme.
> Don't overspend.


I agree! Focus on planning your marriage and future together, and worry less about the wedding. If you keep it simple, it will save you money and will cause you less stress and worry.

As a guest, I really like when the wedding and reception are held in the same venue. It reduces travel time and stress for both you and your guests. Venues like @MJJEAN mentioned may seem expensive out of the gate, but they may actually save you money because their cost includes things like tables, chairs, linens, plates, glassware, etc... if you have to rent that stuff separately, it adds up quick! And the OTHER great thing... they usually have a wedding planner on staff who will manage the event for the day, so you don't have to worry about all the little details.

Here are some of my other wedding planning tips:

- Go simple and classic to save money. Don't waste money on expensive favors, because people don't want little knick knacks to clutter up their houses... something edible is always good, and cost effective!
- If you have a good home printer and a knack for design/layout, it's super easy to do your own invitations and have really nice ones. But don't buy your paper and envelopes at an office supply store or craft store, because they have a huge mark-up! This website has a great selection, and great prices: https://www.invitationpapers.com/ (I've used them. The quality is good, too.)
- If you have an iPod or an iPhone (and this may work on Android as well), and you have a friend or family member whom you trust to be your MC, there's a great app called something like Wedding Playlist or Wedding DJ. I don't remember the exact name, you'll have to look it up. But it's specifically designed for weddings. So you can program all your music and stuff in, and your MC just has to make the announcements for your special songs and intros, and once the dance party starts, you just let it play on its own. All you need is a sound system to plug it into.

(I love weddings. And event planning.)


----------



## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

john117 said:


> This is likely where DD1 is going to get married...
> 
> https://www.thorncrown.com/


That's lovely! My cousin is getting married here (in their ballroom): Home - The Old Mill


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

My advice: Elope and spend all the money on the honeymoon! That's what I would do if I could do it over again. My daughter got married last November, and I practically begged her to elope and let her dad and me just give them the money that a wedding would cost, but, she had to have a wedding............. Weddings are just too much of a headache!


----------



## growing_weary (Jul 23, 2017)

I had a destination wedding. Got to spend more on a smaller amount of people who really cared to be there and give value/time to everyone vs spending even more on 100s of people who may have just come for the free meal. Wish i'd known my husband was a jerk, but hey I have beautiful pictures I can't really do anything with. 

I would do another destination, somewhere more remote with even fewer people and then just extend into a honeymoon or just a courthouse n party type of thing if I ever get married again.


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Honestly, if I had to do it all over again, STBXH and I would've gone to the courthouse, and had our families over for a backyard BBQ for supper. Weddings are expensive, and the only way I would do one again is if I were marrying a very wealthy fella. Otherwise, I would save the money, do something simple for a wedding day with just the 2 of us in a remote location, and go on a [email protected]$$ honeymoon.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I agree simple and cheap. Realize that though you think it is your day what you end up with is a big party you threw for everyone else. You won't even remember it. Get a good photographer but do the pictures quickly and mostly all at once because that ends up being a pain as you have to stop over and over to take them and you use like 10%. The ones that are candid and not posed turn out much better anyway. Look for a photographer who has a good eye for taking candid shots not posed ones, tell them to document it like news and not like an advertisement. Make sure the food is good. 

The overall point is if you do to much with everything you end up basically running all over the place, pictures, then dance, then greeting everyone, then cake, then goodbyes and you are like, what he hell that was what I spent a **** ton of money on?!!? It goes by in a split second and you don't even remember most of it. It's not worth the money. Make it a real party less formal and more fun. I wish that was what we did.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

FeministInPink said:


> That's lovely! My cousin is getting married here (in their ballroom): Home - The Old Mill


Fay Jones was a famous architect and designed a number of famous churches. No self respecting arch students would get married anywhere else . In fact, DD1 and SO are making the trip to Eureka Springs in a week for fall break.


----------

