# MC yesterday---horror show



## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Wow, what a session.

H opened up by saying that his 3 year EA/PA was just a 'friendship' with his dead friends wife. 
I reminded him that he got a aids test after that friendship. He said he only got it because he knew I would ask for one. And that nothing happened. I reminded him that he said in front of our priest that he ejaculated on her stomach,( he said nothing to that.)

He then said that I tried to blackmail him by saying I would leave him if he didn't take Viagra, well he never took it, but HE did ask for clearance from his cardiologist, family doctor, and pharmacist. I never said I would leave him, I said after 5 years of a celibate marriage it was a concern of mine and I wanted to be honest about that concern. 

He also said that the marriage was strained because I spent a lot of time at work. Yes, and I did all the saving, the money I saved in our joint names, and he has 3 cars and 2 motorcycles. 

He said that I had hurt the kids by leaving. I reminded him that I left because of his verbal and emotional abuse, screaming at me for hours and following me from room to room. He said he doesn't remember that, plus his own dad beat him and that was 'real' abuse.

He claimed that when he teases our daughter about eating too much that it's just his English humour, and our dd lacks a sense of humour so it's her fault because she can't take a joke.

I'm just venting! The kids so want us to R, but every time I am with the jackass I want to puke. 

Yes I have to make up my mind. MY problem is that I refuse to tell the kids crap like this so I have to take the fall and look like the one who is tearing apart the family. While he keeps saying he will do AnYthing to save his family. It's so frustrating. I feel like typing a list of his **** and giving it to our eldest to read, but would not, and could not do that.

How can I explain to the kids why we are not R without going into details??? Our 21 yo son knows about the A, but thinks it was more a friendship, 13 dd knows nothing about the affair. And of course the verbal abuse was done out of earshot from the kids. 

Scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forgive my stupidity for being in this situation.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

You are torn about your children. I think you would D if it weren't for them already.

Have you talked to a therapist on how to break the news to your 13 yo about how to deal with this?

The constant; turmoil, disagreements, manipulation etc. Are very hard on them.

Your H has been pampered by you money wise.Is that why he wants to R but shows no remorse???


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

You are right, if there were no kids I'd have been gone years ago. 
I will ask my therapist how to break the news, good idea.
Yes he's all about money, I agreed to do Christmas at the family home and he insists on we split the gifts 50/50 which is fine, he just told me to buy the stocking stuffers and the turkey. He's so cheap, this being a man with 4 cars and 2 motorcycles. When he had his A he let the OW pay for his furniture for his apartment and his rent, despite him having a 10 k mva settlement in the bank. '
You are very perceptive!


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