# Facebook Question?



## AloneInMontana (Mar 11, 2012)

So my sister-in-law has friended my stbxh girlfriend (whom he cheated on me with) on Facebook...should I let her know this upsets me? It is like she is ok with what he did, we have been separated for 4.5 months and have yet to file for divorce, still sharing the house. Am I wrong to be so upset about this? His family all say they still love me and consider me family and want me in their lives..I just don't know that I can...but I also don't want to punish them for what he chose to do


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## Furious George (Nov 14, 2011)

So sorry to hear that. I would suggest that you place some distance between his family and yourself. Let it all go and start working on you. If things get ugly their loyalty will be with him. Also, you can't move on if you are still involved with his family. I'm in a similar situation, so I feel your pain. 

Lastly, I'm sure she knew this would hurt you. She may even have done it for exactly that reason. Good luck to you!


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

FB needs to have a match and can of gas taken to it in my opinion. The death of many a marriage stems from good old FB.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

AloneInMontana said:


> So my sister-in-law has friended my stbxh girlfriend (whom he cheated on me with) on Facebook...should I let her know this upsets me? It is like she is ok with what he did, we have been separated for 4.5 months and have yet to file for divorce, still sharing the house. Am I wrong to be so upset about this? His family all say they still love me and consider me family and want me in their lives..I just don't know that I can...but I also don't want to punish them for what he chose to do


After 4.5 months are the in laws in contact with you? Are you feeling "the love" from them?

I ask, because I heard the same "we still love, you'll always be a part of the family, you're my fave DIL, etc. When I sent Christmas wishes, I was ignored. I reached out again asking for stories and anecdotes about STBXH as a child for a book I'm working on for our kids and new(only) grandchild. Again, no response. When I mentioned to MIL the lack of response, she said she was surprise to hear that. I also let MIL know how I felt about her actions when the sh!t hit the fan last summer.

But I digress. For me the old adage of blood is thicker than water has proven itself to be true. Took a year, but I have finished "un-friending" all of the in laws save the one BIL and his wife. We talk nearly every week. Oh, and MIL tells everyone that I am mad at her but fails to say what made me angry.


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

justabovewater said:


> FB needs to have a match and can of gas taken to it in my opinion. The death of many a marriage stems from good old FB.


Couldn't agree more....its the devil in disguise.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AloneInMontana (Mar 11, 2012)

cherokee96red said:


> After 4.5 months are the in laws in contact with you? Are you feeling "the love" from them?
> 
> I ask, because I heard the same "we still love, you'll always be a part of the family, you're my fave DIL, etc. When I sent Christmas wishes, I was ignored. I reached out again asking for stories and anecdotes about STBXH as a child for a book I'm working on for our kids and new(only) grandchild. Again, no response. When I mentioned to MIL the lack of response, she said she was surprise to hear that. I also let MIL know how I felt about her actions when the sh!t hit the fan last summer.
> 
> But I digress. For me the old adage of blood is thicker than water has proven itself to be true. Took a year, but I have finished "un-friending" all of the in laws save the one BIL and his wife. We talk nearly every week. Oh, and MIL tells everyone that I am mad at her but fails to say what made me angry.


I do have to agree that they have not been contacting me as much as they used to even in the beginning of our separation. I know that my MIL loves me dearly, knows her son is an a-hole for what he did, but he is her son and our 12 year friendship will eventually fizzle completely - and his sister I don't think even knows that he cheated on me (he originally told his family that he met someone new and was leaving and it was not mutual) If he manned up and told her the truth I don't know


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Could she have friended her because she was approached or to find out more about her?


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## AloneInMontana (Mar 11, 2012)

Mamatomany said:


> Could she have friended her because she was approached or to find out more about her?


I asked SIL a little while back if they have met his new girlfriend yet and she said "yes, but we still love you" we meaning her and her husband. I really couldn't say if she friended her to be nice or not


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

AloneInMontana said:


> I asked SIL a little while back if they have met his new girlfriend yet and she said "yes, but we still love you" we meaning her and her husband. I really couldn't say if she friended her to be nice or not


If you all have gotten along this is what I would do
1) trust that she was requested and being polite
2) she thought it would be interesting to check out the new gf. 

Let it go for now if you all have been friends.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I don't know, I think it's quite insensitive and hurtful of her but they are his family after all and their loyalty will ultimately be with him in the end

for me it would be a dealbreaker and I've had to defriend her

god FB sucks sometimes


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

My advice to anyone. Get off FB. It's a platform for cyber b!tching, cyber bullies and cyber voyeurs. There are better ways to keep in touch with your (real) friends and family.


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## AloneInMontana (Mar 11, 2012)

So I found out today that they are friends in "real life"..my SIL posted pictures of them horseback riding together and even my MIL commented asking how she liked her first time riding..I posted something a little distasteful and am un-friending them all tomorrow when i know they have read it. Not worth the hurt and pain it puts me through having to see it thrown in my face


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

AloneInMontana said:


> So I found out today that they are friends in "real life"..my SIL posted pictures of them horseback riding together and even my MIL commented asking how she liked her first time riding..I posted something a little distasteful and am un-friending them all tomorrow when i know they have read it. Not worth the hurt and pain it puts me through having to see it thrown in my face


And I'd bet the farm that your FB post had some mention or another of the term "riding?"


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## AloneInMontana (Mar 11, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> And I'd bet the farm that your FB post had some mention or another of the term "riding?"


It actually didn't, but that would have been good! :smthumbup:


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## Quiet Desperation (Apr 19, 2011)

Personally I think FB is a curse, if my family overseas wasn't on it I would have left it a long time ago.


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