# Question for guys who plays computer games...



## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

I need to know from guys who plays computer games, if you are in the same room in your house and play the same computer game with your partner but not actually playing 'together' - as in the same group, but still in the same server and you can see each other's character 'inside the game' do you consider this as "bonding time" or spending quality time together?

I really need to know the guys point of view on this...so any input is much appreciated.


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

I suggest that true friendship can only be maintained if you turn off the computer, and step outside into the fresh air and have face to face conversations and enjoy real life activities.

Everything in moderation. If you're playing computer games to such an extent that you need to ask such questions.. you're spending too much time in front of a computer.

My 2 cents. I don't play computer games at all. Then again I don't have too many friends either.


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

Thanks Hisfac, we do have face to face interactions and real life activities as a family but he is a gamer and playing computer game is his recreational activity that relaxes him and he really enjoys it as that is the way he 'undwind' from the stresses of daily life. 

I really dont mind him doing it and I totally understand it but i want to know if guys sees the situation i described above as spending quality time with his partner or not?


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

I would say it would "bonding time" if W and I were playing the game with same character and switching who controls the keyboards between us. I don't see how in your example your spouse would be different then any other online player in the game.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Hubs and I game together  not IN the game, but we play together and it's fun! We're into crime/mystery games so we can easily blow 3 hours a night together on them. It's fun! We fool around and act silly and enjoy a beer.  Quality time for us


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

Thanks Keko, that's what im trying to figure out....if you play together with any other player in the game do you form some sort of connection that way?

that_girl, i know you play video game with your hubby but i think its a bit different for us because we play MMO game. 

If you play MMO games, let me just explain what i mean....lets say that you are playing the same game in the same server with your partner (you have your character and she has her character) but you are doing separate quests in the game....for example you might be doing a "mini game" or 6 mans with other people in your guild and your partner is sitting in the same room with a different computer playing the same game, yet she is doing her own quests and playing with other people inside the game but because you are in the same room you talk to each other about the game (as in throwing comments at each other about what you are doing in the game, or cursing when you get killed repeatedly or if you have to kill a really hard mob and you can't kill it yourself then maybe ask for help from your partner...etc) do you consider this as a bonding time or quality time together with your partner?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oooh you guys are MMO. lol. Could be fun. We'd probably get sucked in.


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

stritle said:


> sorry, just deleted the post as i wanted to reword it a bit, doesn't matter though lol
> 
> yes, i used to play mmo's, i'm familiar with the group dynamics and playing in same room with others online in different groups.
> 
> ...


Stritle, i was starting to think i was imagining your post...i swore i saw it before i posted, i had to re-edit my last post LOL 

Im just curious and would like to know that as a man (specially as a gamer) if your wife has made an effort to be involved in your gaming world and actually get to know the game you are playing and play the game to be with you eventho at times you are not playing 'together' in a sense that not in the same group will you still considered that as quality time together?

oh btw, we play Age of Conan


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Oooh you guys are MMO. lol. Could be fun. We'd probably get sucked in.


you should play with us....better yet, we can team up together and kick our hubs' asses LOL :smthumbup:


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

stritle said:


> hmm Age of Conan.....never tried that one lol.
> 
> Would "I" consider it quality time.....no.
> when i played, i was very absorbed. mostly in multi group raids.
> ...


Thanks stritle, i would've liked to be in the same group with him when im playing but if i'm being totally honest im a bit intimidated when im playing with him because he has 3 years experience in playing the game whereas i just started playing 6 months ago, i dont have any experience in playing ANY computer game whatsoever so im a total noob....

Im still learning about my character and at times i feel like im just not quite 'good enough' to play alongside him. He has a reputation as a good player in the game and he has earned quite a bit of respect in our guild and that makes it even harder for me as im not at his level yet (to be honest im not sure if i ever will be as good as he is...he does have 3 years ahead of me in skills and experience) so sometimes i avoided being in the same team/group with him in case im just not good enough or i'll embarras him with my inexperience or my low skill level :loser:


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## LemonLime (Mar 20, 2012)

Wow, that makes me sad if a guy would see that as bonding time. Play a board game or something.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Why is that any more sad than sitting together and watching dumb-ass reality shows or putrid crap like Greys Anatomy???


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Why is that any more sad than sitting together and watching dumb-ass reality shows or putrid crap like Greys Anatomy???


very good point 
he does put up with my click flicks sometimes which he endure to give me quality time so i guess it works both ways


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## Unhappy2011 (Dec 28, 2011)

DownUnder said:


> Thanks Hisfac, we do have face to face interactions and real life activities as a family but he is a gamer and playing computer game is his recreational activity that relaxes him and he really enjoys it as that is the way he 'undwind' from the stresses of daily life.
> 
> I really dont mind him doing it and I totally understand it but i want to know if guys sees the situation i described above as spending quality time with his partner or not?



You really think all guys are the same?

Why not ask yourself how you would feel about it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mom_In-Love (Mar 18, 2012)

Me and my husband play computer games all the time.

It is definitely quality and bonding time together.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

I asked my husband for you and he said he would not consider that quality time because you aren't doing anything together. 
We play WoW together occasionally. He likes to get things for me (armor and weapons, etc) and fight things for me, etc. In the game. We have laughs over me freaking out over fighting things that are much higher level than me. Usually when we play his toon is a much higher level than mines because he's a lot better at the game. He likes to run me through dungeons and I like how we work on communicating and being a team by playing together.
We both feel this would not be quality time if played in the manner as you described.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

Love Song said:


> I asked my husband for you and he said he would not consider that quality time because you aren't doing anything together.
> We play WoW together occasionally. He likes to get things for me (armor and weapons, etc) and fight things for me, etc. In the game. We have laughs over me freaking out over fighting things that are much higher level than me. Usually when we play his toon is a much higher level than mines because he's a lot better at the game. He likes to run me through dungeons and I like how we work on communicating and being a team by playing together.
> We both feel this would not be quality time if played in the manner as you described.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thank you Love Song, i really appreciate your input and thanks for asking your hubby for me


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

If you are engaging each other in the game, either cooperatively or competitively, how is it any different than playing a card game like Rummy or Poker or a board game with each other?


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

Anubis said:


> If you are engaging each other in the game, either cooperatively or competitively, how is it any different than playing a card game like Rummy or Poker or a board game with each other?


Yes we do, like when i come across a difficult mob that i can't kill by myself i usually just ask him if he can come and help me....and he is usually happy to do that 

or the other day we did a duel with each other and unfortunately he smoked my ass a few times because he is much better at this game than i am LOL

one day tho...i hope to open a can of whoopass on him and totally beat him at this game


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

DownUnder said:


> I need to know from guys who plays computer games, if you are in the same room in your house and play the same computer game with your partner but not actually playing 'together' - as in the same group, but still in the same server and you can see each other's character 'inside the game' do you consider this as "bonding time" or spending quality time together?
> 
> I really need to know the guys point of view on this...so any input is much appreciated.


I would fall over and die if my wife ever took a serious interest in video games. Just the thought of it is mind-blowing to me.


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

effess said:


> I would fall over and die if my wife ever took a serious interest in video games. Just the thought of it is mind-blowing to me.


effess, my husband would say the same thing a couple of years ago....i just started playing 6 months ago as i want to get to know his gaming world and share his recreational interest. I have to admit that i was pleasantly surprised that i actually enjoy playing it 

I have to say tho that it was a steep learning curve for me as i have NEVER played a computer game before this (specially MMOs) and it took a while to get used to playing my character and get used to the buttons. I play a healer class and my hubby plays a caster class....even now Im still learning about the game, when i first started it feels like someone thrown me into the water and i have to either "sink or swim", i honestly never thought there is so much to learn just to play a computer game LOL


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

My personal take, is it depends 

If you're next to eachother, and chatting or whatever, yeah that could be bonding time I guess.

To me, sitting back to back, and we're playing the same game but not in a party, that would not be "bonding".

If we were across the room but in the same group (like in-game party), I would say at that point I was "playing with my wife" and would probably consider that some weird sort of bonding. I think in that scenario you're much more likely to talk to eachother out loud, and share in a sense of accomplishment at the same time.

That's my nerdy take on the situation.


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

Thanks Coguy 

Our computer is next to each other so we can chat to each other while playing...sometimes i would yell out "argh, im getting killed....come help me please!" and he would usually just laugh at me and say "hang on, i'll be right there"


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