# How does Match.com get on his computer history if he wasn't there????



## MYSTERYfemale (Oct 28, 2009)

Our relationship of 11yrs has been strained for sometime. He's started to smoke pot again, and he drinks more than usual. He sits up and drinks all night playing online poker and I go to bed. It started by checking his history and I noticed that when he does this, he's on "sites". I've confronted him, and he tells me it's normal for him to do that. But it seems a pattern, and it's becoming more and more. I'm the ***** for confronting him. Well, just the other night, he went out and didn't come home. I checked his history and found Match.com on his computer. Quite the coincidence would you say? While I'm in school, he's online at these sites. I'm 42 and he's 40. He denies being on this site, and he must have clicked on an ad to get him there. Yet, by his history it shows logged in and register, and the pictures of women as a search. He expects me to believe he wasn't there. And now he's questioning me, well if I were on that site, wouldn't I be getting e-mails from them, wouldn't I be on there more....ect. The night he went out all night and the day before he was on this site...which he says he wasn't....is it to much of a coincidence. He says he should be allowed to go out and have a good time, but no phone call, it was a snow storm as well, he has no insurance on our car. And then shows up at 1am the next day saying he was at his friends house. Should I be upset? He says I'm writing a lie cause he's never been to this Match.com, he's here next to me as I write this. Can someone please explain to me, how I'm lying when I saw it on his computer and he has no answer to why it's on his computer.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

MYSTERYfemale said:


> Our relationship of 11yrs has been strained for sometime. He's started to smoke pot again, and he drinks more than usual. He sits up and drinks all night playing online poker and I go to bed. It started by checking his history and I noticed that when he does this, he's on "sites". I've confronted him, and he tells me it's normal for him to do that. But it seems a pattern, and it's becoming more and more. I'm the ***** for confronting him. Well, just the other night, he went out and didn't come home. I checked his history and found Match.com on his computer. Quite the coincidence would you say? While I'm in school, he's online at these sites. I'm 42 and he's 40. He denies being on this site, and he must have clicked on an ad to get him there. Yet, by his history it shows logged in and register, and the pictures of women as a search. He expects me to believe he wasn't there. And now he's questioning me, well if I were on that site, wouldn't I be getting e-mails from them, wouldn't I be on there more....ect. The night he went out all night and the day before he was on this site...which he says he wasn't....is it to much of a coincidence. He says he should be allowed to go out and have a good time, but no phone call, it was a snow storm as well, he has no insurance on our car. And then shows up at 1am the next day saying he was at his friends house. Should I be upset? He says I'm writing a lie cause he's never been to this Match.com, he's here next to me as I write this. Can someone please explain to me, how I'm lying when I saw it on his computer and he has no answer to why it's on his computer.


Sorry to play on your avitar name....but there is NO mystery here. He's not being honest to you. Based on your description of his behavior, not sure it matters.

good luck!


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## MYSTERYfemale (Oct 28, 2009)

He wants me to add to this....that I said we were over, and I'm leaving him and it's true I did say that. So that justifies what he's doing. Previously I called 911 on him because I took something of "his". His weed, and I crushed it. He came after me to get it back, crushed my hand. Now he's up for assault charges, but I have to apologize for taking his stuff, and he can't see why the cops came because of that. And he's going to have a criminal record. I let him back in the house, which he tells me is his home and he can't believe I kicked him out of his home. Since then he's telling me he loves me, but he's just saying because of course he loves me, and he doesn't want me to worry because I had an exam. Now tell me who's playing with's who's emotions. He says there's nothing he can say, and that I'm right about everything. I'm leaving him, and this is for sure. I'm tired of someone prioritizing drugs, booze, nights out over our relationship and then telling me he loves me after he's already done what he does. He says I don't admit to anything I've done, but I feel what I am responsible for is reacting (and not in a good way) to his actions he keeps repeating over and over again. I'm to the point were I can't speak to him and hearing his stupid ass excuses like he wasn't on the Match.com, and he's entitled to go out, but because I told him awhile ago that we were over. But yet the I love you's come out of his mouth. Because I'm threatening to contact the police because he's got a condition on him that I can have him removed at any time. And he's saying I'm holding that over his head. I'm so done.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Definite dishonesty here..........if you have a wireless router I would log into it change the password to something only you know and shut the internet down from 12am-5am and block the sites you don't want him on.

That's what I've done to my teenager when she was grounded..........no interent from 12am-5am......but unfortunately if my wife stayed out all night and was acting shady the ensueing conversation would suck pretty good!!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Good grief. How dumb does he think you are? How insulting.

You don't need that crap. Go to the lawyer, get him kicked out, and tell him in writing what he would have to change before you'd allow him back into your life. And then move on.



> but I have to apologize for taking his stuff


Er...excuse me? YOU have to apologize? Not likely.


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## JustMe23 (Feb 3, 2010)

First, I am sorry you are going through this. If he crushed your hand to get drugs back and you are calling 911, perhaps there are other issues besides Match.com to be considering. You won't be able to change him, but you can definitely help yourself by leaving. Above all else, respect yourself and keep yourself safe.


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## magic52 (Feb 5, 2010)

My fiance does the same kind of things. He did it for a long time before I finally told him no need to deny it because our computer has a keylogger on it, which was on it before him to monitor my kids. He use to deny it, and even now he claims he just looks at those sites out of curiosity. I really don't believe that and neither should you. You and I are probably both being used. One site you should also monitor is Craigslist - it has casual encounters - mine looks there alot to meet men or women. I am so sick of it, and I finally am waking to the reality he will probably never change, and I would never be enough! 

Get out while you can, things will only get worse, unless he gets serious counseling, and he must want it for himself!


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## AMOR (Feb 7, 2010)

Not to be blunt but... you know the answer to this question so why ask? The answer is simple, it doesn't.


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## bacala787 (Feb 7, 2010)

He's lying, no question


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## TheLuckiest08 (Jun 2, 2008)

Yes, he's lying. It sounds like he has one foot out the door


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