# Mother-in-law causing problems..again



## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

My MIL has a history of personality disorder namely narcissistic personalily disorder and also alcoholism since 2004 

My husband and siblings-in-law has been helping her over the years (4 years for me) when they were younger, their mother lies to them about how their father is disappointed at them just to be the better parent which resulted in them hating their own father. We got her to treatment and stuffs but she just lies to her psychiatrist about what's really going on and also tried to reduce her own doses of medications herself claiming shes her own doctor and doesnt stop drinking!! She can be drunk during the day time at 4pm or sometimes 7am . We have called the police twice and sent her to the psychiatric ward for a alcoholic program as she wanted to commit sucide due to her husband "cheating" on her and that he doesnt want her. 

Currently the other children has moved out so that they could get the negative vibes around her to stop. 

Now my husband and i are getting a place because shes affecting him and he is getting severe depression due to it. 

Parents in law offered to help out by giving us 60k to pay for the house. We wanted to loan from them but my mother in law who is 51 years old said that we would not be able to return her that sum even when she dies (how insulting)so shes giving us instead. 

Today, she whatsapped me to KIV the house because my father in law doesnt want her *divorce. But then again it always doesnt happen! They just mentions it lightly and cause all of us distress and negativity. 

We already paid few thousands for the deposit/downpayment. And im pretty annoyed how she can take this so lightly. 

How do i reply her text? (Attached) 

Im so frustrated, theres many more things about her but there just too much to list it all down.. thanks so much..


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## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

Btw shes 51 and telling people 6 million dollars (just cash not included assets) is not enough to get her to her death. 

Yesterday my mothers friend told me that she gave her only son 600k and she never regretted it and never even harp about anything.. but my mil tells everybody how shes so nice to give 60k to her only son. 



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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

I don't understand what the texts say. It's a mistake taking money from family for the house as it'll have many strings attached. Get your own loan and buy a house that you can afford by yourselves. Include NOONE else in on the decision. Move out asap so you no longer have to be around that.


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## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

tropicalbeachiwish said:


> I don't understand what the texts say. It's a mistake taking money from family for the house as it'll have many strings attached. Get your own loan and buy a house that you can afford by yourselves. Include NOONE else in on the decision. Move out asap so you no longer have to be around that.


We have already taken a housing loan of 200k but we needed 65k more for the difference and its already the most basic size public housing after the grants and things..basically its the cheapest house to afford in singapore.

And its less than 1km away from the current private house that we reside in.. 

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## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

sunnygirl24 said:


> We have already taken a housing loan of 200k but we needed 65k more for the difference and its already the most basic size public housing after the grants and things..basically its the cheapest house to afford in singapore.
> 
> And its less than 1km away from the current private house that we reside in..
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


They loan one of their daughter 200k to get a house 3 years ago..now they are so happy that they moved out and all of then has been encouraging us to move but we definitely need all the helo we can get. 

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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

You made the mistake of accepting the help from her knowing perfectly well her behaviors and negativity. Is it too late to cancel the purchase or loan?


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## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

tropicalbeachiwish said:


> You made the mistake of accepting the help from her knowing perfectly well her behaviors and negativity. Is it too late to cancel the purchase or loan?


Yes its too late.. we would be losing thousands over just for cancelling.. actually my fil was the one who offered when my husband asked but she made it about her.. as usual :/ 

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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

sunnygirl24 said:


> Yes its too late.. we would be losing thousands over just for cancelling.. actually my fil was the one who offered when my husband asked but she made it about her.. as usual :/
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


I would show your husband the texts and ask him to deal with it. Maybe he can talk to his father directly since he was the one that offered to begin with.


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## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

Yea i would see how he reacts to it.. just afraid that his depression would get worse.. 

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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

What does KIV mean?


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## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

Seppuku said:


> What does KIV mean?


It means keep in view.. 

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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

sunnygirl24 said:


> It means keep in view..
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk


That doesn't help me understand those text messages at all.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Interpret KIV as regarding or in reference to. MIL's husband wants a divorce. MIL can't spare the cash the FIL promised for the house. Make sense, now?


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

Kind of. OP should talk to the father first to see if it is really true.


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## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

Seppuku said:


> Kind of. OP should talk to the father first to see if it is really true.


Its not true.. just got off the phone with my fil he said he isnt speaking to her because shes drunk everyday and that she drinks since morning.. no idea how to help because she would say its her life and she want to be happy by drinking and smoking alot and that we are not paying for those things so dont disturb her "activities" :/ 

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## sunnygirl24 (Sep 16, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Interpret KIV as regarding or in reference to. MIL's husband wants a divorce. MIL can't spare the cash the FIL promised for the house. Make sense, now?


It isn't her cash because she has been sucking all his cash and everytime they mentioned divorcing she said "im going to suck all his money" how gross is that she isnt even working just drinking all day long


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