# 32 Days of Marriage and He wants a Divorce



## Needinghelp86 (Sep 16, 2012)

Ok No lie the tittle is the root of me being here. Some history on us. We have been together 4 years, the usual started as friends and both fell in love. Both of us never married I have one child from a previous relationship. 

About 2 years ago we went through a so called rough patch. Between finding condom wrappers (we weren’t using them) emails from dating sites, catching him in lies and having him admit that when one of his friends were down visiting he and his friend went on sex searching sites so to me it was pretty evident he was cheating on me. He denies physically cheating to this day. Along with counselling he agreed that if it made me feel better he would cut his one friend out of our lives. 

Speed forward to July of this year, things are going good ect. We got married End of July. Middle of Aug we go on Vacation for a few weeks to were his family lives (and were his friend lives) Claiming that I was probably over it by than he actually called his friend, and planned a night out at the strip club. And instead of asking me my thoughts or feelings in private he said “Hey I’m going out with ----- tonight” infront of his whole family that I had just met 10 days earlier. I was obviously beyond angry and even more so when I found out their plans. We argued for most of the night with him asking about every 2 min “well why did you marry me” Having been ill I just gave up and went to bed. The next morning I kid you not His first words to me in front of his parents were “well lets go home and get a divorce” I think steam may have come out of my ears I was so angry I threw my rings off at him. I spent the day away from him on my own just to calm down. That night I packed to go home in the morning. He came to me and actually seemed apologetic and said he didn’t want a divorce he was just angry. We started to talk about things and once again every 2 min it was back to well why did you marry me ect. Than out of nowhere he grabs my laptop and starts looking up divorce lawyers.
It was 32 days in to our marriage. 
Im sorry obviously Im beyond angry not only with the problem that started the argument but also with his so called angry outburst of a divorce and then going as far as looking for a lawyer. I simply told him that if that’s what he wants than fine Ill sign the papers with out argument (for the sake of my son not needing that drama in his life). About another month has passed since and my life has been a living hell and that has to say something considering his job keeps him away for 5 to 6 days at a time. There is no talking only arguing, Its constant put downs about how I make him so un happy, not to mention that even though he brought up divorce he tells me its my job start the process, get the lawyers and the papers. 

I don’t want a divorce or I never thought I would. Aside from the problems 2 years ago and a few others he has been an amazing man even thinking hes cheated on me I still love him and wanted to spend my life with him. He has even gone as far as trying to adopt my son from a previous relationship. But tonight I think the initial shock of what he said wore off and I’ve come to terms with reality. We have been married a whopping two months….and aside from being hell they have also been sexless. He doesn’t even call home while he’s traveling anymore claiming his work will make him pay for the phone calls (I know the owner of the company he works for personally and that isn’t even close to the truth). He called home once when I used our joint account to purchase wall paper to ask what I spent 200 bucks on yet had no problem blowing the nearly 10 grand we got as a wedding present on …well that I don’t even know yet considering he doesn’t drink, do drugs or gambles and nothing new has been put in or brought in to our home, he refers to everything as His like his house his cars his trucks his bed ect….. I don’t even know what the heck to think. Im seriously driving my self insane thinking this over in my head and I need outsiders input


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He cheated on you before and you married him anyway. He didn't seem committed then and he doesn't seen committed now 

I don't know why men and women marry people when they don't want to be married. It's just such a shame and heartbreaking. If he doesn't want to be married, what can you do? You can't force him...and WHY is he saying this? Does he have someone else? But, imo, he doesn't want to be married and never really wanted to be married. He is a wimp because he went through with it instead of telling you he didn't want to get married.


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## miss812 (Jun 17, 2012)

I completely agree with the above poster - He does not seem committed to you at all. He doesn't even seem to treat you as his wife.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Take your son out of this ridiculous mess RIGHT NOW and walk away with your dignity. Go ahead and contact an attorney, see if you can get an annulment INSTEAD of a divorce. Either way, rid yourself AND YOUR SON of this man/boy. This is NOT the role model your son needs to see on a daily basis. You and your son DESERVE someone who thinks it's a PRIVILEGE to be in your lives, to provide for you, to love you, to be loved by you, to be called 'Daddy' by your son.

This ain't the guy! You've wasted 4 years with him (including KNOWING he cheated and taking him back...THIS could be WHY he doesn't have respect for you!), but WHY WASTE 4.5 YEARS with this jackass?


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## Needinghelp86 (Sep 16, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Take your son out of this ridiculous mess RIGHT NOW and walk away with your dignity. Go ahead and contact an attorney, see if you can get an annulment INSTEAD of a divorce. Either way, rid yourself AND YOUR SON of this man/boy. This is NOT the role model your son needs to see on a daily basis. You and your son DESERVE someone who thinks it's a PRIVILEGE to be in your lives, to provide for you, to love you, to be loved by you, to be called 'Daddy' by your son.
> 
> This ain't the guy! You've wasted 4 years with him (including KNOWING he cheated and taking him back...THIS could be WHY he doesn't have respect for you!), but WHY WASTE 4.5 YEARS with this jackass?



Not to stand up for him regarding the issue but he is a good dad to my son (our son) its all he has known for the last 4 years.And my son is only 5. The only thing regarding his parenting that I dont like is he dosent even call home to talk to our son anymore, the frist day of school I got a txt message...how the hell dose a 5 year old respond to a txt message. My son adores him and he chose to call him dad knowing that he has another dad. Im lucky my son never hears or see's us arguing if I can manage to not say horrible things abour his biological dad around him I can manage to do it with my husband.

Im even more at a lost now as I noticed that he is still wearing his wedding band eve though Im not wearing my rings

Lord have mercy I feel like Im back in high school with all the dramatics


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

I know you're upset, but look at it this way: If he's SUCH A GREAT FATHER, then WHY is he treating your son's MOTHER like cr*p???


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Give him the divorce. Get out now. My first husband told me two months into our marriage how disappointed he was, and I was miserable our entire marriage. I wish I had left then, how much more proof does someone need that it isnt going to work?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He's not a good father to your child. A good father first and foremost treats a child's mother very well. It's one of the most important lessons a child can learn.

See if you can get an annulment.

What might have been going on in his mind is that he figured that since he got away with cheating so lightly before, once married you'd be trapped and have to accept it.

Have no doubt that if he's away with his job most of the time, he's not being faithful. Men will find a way to have sex.. if he's not having it with you it's either porn over use or other women.


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