# Did I make a mistake?



## Ry0818 (Jun 15, 2016)

I've been in this marriage for three years now and I'm the one always getting hurt. I never thought that the person who you love or share your life with could hurt you the most. From day one he's always flirting with other woman. When he's caught he says he won't do it again. He's never slept with anybody but for me I consider that cheating. I'm so hurt and full of anger and bitterness. I continue to question myself if I made a mistake. He doesn't respect me he throws attitude worse then a female. I'm the only working right now while he doesn't have a job and its stressing me out. We have three little ones and I'm trying my best to be a good mom. We got into an argument last night and I told him that I hated him and I wanted him out. We've separated before and end up getting back together. I'm the one that always ends up hurt. He went through a lot on his childhood so I feel like he takes it out on me without noticing that he does. He doesn't communicate with me. I just feel like he doesn't care. If I'm angry or upset he doesn't try and talk I always have to be he one to make the first move to try and settle things but he just walks around here. I ask him why does he do that but he says because when he's angry he likes to be left alone so he thinks the same for me. I have said that I don't like being left alone. I just feel like he doesn't love me. I feel like he hates me. I gave up a lot for him. What do I do? Should I continue working it out? It just seems like it's getting worse. I love him but love don't hurt..right?


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Right. Love shouldn't hurt you to this degree. You have explained your boundaries to him in the past, and he knows how his flirting makes you feel yet he does what he wants. He then upsets you and lets you deal with it on your own because that's how HE likes to deal with his feelings. See the running theme yet? He is incredibly selfish. At this point, unless he can commit to some marriage counselling with you then you would be better of alone.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

He does not sound like a leader, and so is unlikely to take responsibility for meeting your needs. 

He sounds like another dependent for you to take care of, actually.


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## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

He is inconsiderate and needs to be working ASAP . Men with three kids shouldn't have time for flirting and not working.


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## LiaR (Jun 19, 2016)

Hi,
I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through! I am in a similar situation but my husband doesn't flirt in front of me. I have been in my marriage almost 25 years and I can honestly say...life is too short to be unhappy. I have decided to go back to school now that my kids are grown, finish my degree and move on to a life of happiness, even if it is alone. Being alone is better than being unhappy. I found a lost football, brought it home and our puppy chewed it up. He saw the football and got all angry and will not speak to me. I asked why are you mad? We didn't pay for it, it wasn't even yours, it was more mine than yours? He said, he wanted it and he should beat that worthless dog with it. (Of course he never would touch him, he is all talk) but that was very upsetting and we have not spoken since. I feel trapped, is that how you feel? I loved him for many years, but when things like this happen...my love is dwindling for him. I just don't know how to get out? I feel like you really need to think about your relationship and go with your gut. My gut is telling me to plan and prepare so I am ready...maybe you should do the same? Or see counseling?


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

You are entitled to feel hurt by him flirting with other women, this is something that he should not be doing. I suggest marriage counseling for the two of you.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

If he's been a flirt since day 1 and he's still doing it, it's not going to change. Stop trying to make him change. Sadly, it doesn't matter to him how it makes you feel. He's doing it for himself. You have to decide to either accept it or if it's a deal breaker. Ask yourself what you're getting out of the relationship.


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