# New and about to find out for certain



## BhereNow

I have been married for nearly 18 years. I believe tomorrow I will find out about my wife cheating. I have read quite a lot on this forum. I am going to go to work and leave my phone (we have a tracking app -stated intent was so that I could see where she was... I now see it’s so that she can see where I am and when I am coming home). I am not sure if I am going to walk in if it’s going on, interrupt before it begins, or just get positive proof so that I can do I don’t know what. I have come to the point that I have just known, but could not prove. I have got to do this. 


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## sokillme

Sorry, just don't do anything stupid that will cause you to suffer longer then you need to.


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## Wolfman1968

BhereNow said:


> I have been married for nearly 18 years. I believe tomorrow I will find out about my wife cheating. I have read quite a lot on this forum. I am going to go to work and leave my phone (we have a tracking app -stated intent was so that I could see where she was... I now see it’s so that she can see where I am and when I am coming home). I am not sure if I am going to walk in if it’s going on, interrupt before it begins, or just get positive proof so that I can do I don’t know what. I have come to the point that I have just known, but could not prove. I have got to do this.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



Maybe it would be better to use a 3rd party like a private investigator to catch her. You don't want to do something wrong, stupid or illegal under the influence of emotions.


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## Tilted 1

BhereNow said:


> I have been married for nearly 18 years. I believe tomorrow I will find out about my wife cheating. I have read quite a lot on this forum. I am going to go to work and leave my phone (we have a tracking app -stated intent was so that I could see where she was... I now see it’s so that she can see where I am and when I am coming home). I am not sure if I am going to walk in if it’s going on, interrupt before it begins, or just get positive proof so that I can do I don’t know what. I have come to the point that I have just known, but could not prove. I have got to do this.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


No knifes, guns, or weapons of any sort, take someone with you. And a Var and a cell phone and catch if in the act. This way you can exposed her to whom it is that may be of benefit.

Damn man, sorry you are here. Don't be a stranger we here can help.


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## Tilted 1

He'll take 2 friends, record with recording on,from your cell get live shots of betrayal if you think you need, and the 2 friends are to help you by not allowing you to get in to trouble.


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## arbitrator

*It used to be that a plurality of the family court system would generally embrace having any evidence brought forward of a cheating spouses sordid actions, more especially for child support purposes.

With the advent of no-fault divorce laws, it should really come as no big surprise that they just don't seem to give a tinker's damn about it any more!

Be so very careful in the procuring of such data!*


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## MattMatt

BhereNow said:


> I have been married for nearly 18 years. I believe tomorrow I will find out about my wife cheating. I have read quite a lot on this forum. I am going to go to work and leave my phone (we have a tracking app -stated intent was so that I could see where she was... I now see it’s so that she can see where I am and when I am coming home). I am not sure if I am going to walk in if it’s going on, interrupt before it begins, or just get positive proof so that I can do I don’t know what. I have come to the point that I have just known, but could not prove. I have got to do this.


And do keep your new friends here at TAM updated. We have your back, my friend.:smthumbup:


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## Tilted 1

arbitrator said:


> *It used to be that a plurality of the family court system would generally embrace having any evidence brought forward of a cheating spouses sordid actions, more especially for child support purposes.
> 
> With the advent of no-fault divorce laws, it should really come as no big surprise that they just don't seem to give a tinker's damn about it any more!
> 
> Be so very careful in the procuring of such data!*



This is true , the info would be for you and to those who could help/believe you. If you choose to reconcile nothing more. I hope all is well.


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## BhereNow

I would like to change my user name but I don’t know how. I cannot even see how to delete my account and start over


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## StillSearching

BhereNow said:


> I would like to change my user name but I don’t know how. I cannot even see how to delete my account and start over
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


An admin will have to fix it for you...
Be careful today.
Don't over react.....be smart.


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## EleGirl

BhereNow said:


> I would like to change my user name but I don’t know how. I cannot even see how to delete my account and start over


I can change your user name. What would you like it changed to?


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## Chuck71

OP.....you already know, you just have to see it. Take police with you if need be. You can't arrest him

but he can be there to keep the peace. Once you see what you need to...leave the house for a few days

to clear your head and set a game plan. Or if she is willing to leave, let her. But know full well

she will probably try and beg you back once caught. Reason I say once you know, you need away 

from her to process. Do you have kids?


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## EleGirl

BhereNow said:


> I have been married for nearly 18 years. I believe tomorrow I will find out about my wife cheating. I have read quite a lot on this forum. I am going to go to work and leave my phone (we have a tracking app -stated intent was so that I could see where she was... I now see it’s so that she can see where I am and when I am coming home). I am not sure if I am going to walk in if it’s going on, interrupt before it begins, or just get positive proof so that I can do I don’t know what. I have come to the point that I have just known, but could not prove. I have got to do this.


You think she is having some guy in your home when you are at work? Is that right?

If that's the case, you need to be extremely careful about walking in on them, it's a scenario that often leads to a very bad outcome. 

What makes you think she has some buy coming over? What evidence of this do you have?

Do you know who he is?

There might be a safer way for you to find out. For example putting spy camera in your home. You could put it in some place like the living room that the guy would have to be in if he's in your home. That way you do not put yourself in a situation were emotions could cause it get out of hand.


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## aine

Leave a Var in the house instead and you do not need to be there at all but can still get the evidence


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## BhereNow

EleGirl said:


> I can change your user name. What would you like it changed to?




Please change it to “BhereNow” ?


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## EleGirl

BhereNow said:


> Please change it to “BhereNow” ?


Done


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## Casual Observer

EleGirl said:


> You think she is having some guy in your home when you are at work? Is that right?
> 
> If that's the case, you need to be extremely careful about walking in on them, it's a scenario that often leads to a very bad outcome.
> 
> What makes you think she has some buy coming over? What evidence of this do you have?
> 
> Do you know who he is?
> 
> There might be a safer way for you to find out. For example putting spy camera in your home. You could put it in some place like the living room that the guy would have to be in if he's in your home. That way you do not put yourself in a situation were emotions could cause it get out of hand.


If he's tech-savvy and has a wireless router, he can log in remotely and see if there's another active cell phone in range, even if the guy isn't trying to connect to the wireless in the house. It's not proof of much; you don't end up with a name, just a MAC address. But if that MAC address starts showing up multiple days... coinciding with your wife's MAC address...


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## FieryHairedLady

A mod should edit Matt's post.


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## farsidejunky

Done.

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## Marduk

The silence here is deafening. I hope he’s ok, and I really hope he’s wrong.


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## niceguy47460

So have you made it home yet . What all is going on.


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## BhereNow

I am pretty tech savvy. Not sure about where to buy some cams though. Everything I see online looks cheap


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## Casual Observer

BhereNow said:


> I am pretty tech savvy. Not sure about where to buy some cams though. Everything I see online looks cheap
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Do you have a laptop you can leave someplace where the door can be seen? Plenty of ways to use it as an incognito web cam. She won't think anything of it. If there's a blinking red light when it's recording, just put a piece of black tape over it.


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## jlg07

I would also second the suggestion that if you DO go over, please bring other friends over (both sexes if possible) as witnesses. Make sure you/someone videos, esp. if you need this for the divorce proceedings.

Realize that if you do go there, emotions will be off the chart and could lead to really bad consequences that could backfire on YOU. PLEASE be careful if you go and don't go alone.


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## BhereNow

EleGirl said:


> Done




Thank you!


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## Marduk

jlg07 said:


> I would also second the suggestion that if you DO go over, please bring other friends over (both sexes if possible) as witnesses. Make sure you/someone videos, esp. if you need this for the divorce proceedings.
> 
> 
> 
> Realize that if you do go there, emotions will be off the chart and could lead to really bad consequences that could backfire on YOU. PLEASE be careful if you go and don't go alone.




I’d start recording video on my phone and then walk in the door quietly.

If there is something going on, it will make it irrefutable. 

If there isn’t though, you’re going to have some explaining to do.


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## wilson

If you have any old phones, there are many apps you can get which will turn them into motion activated cameras or voice activated recorders. You can record what goes on outside your house with out any concern. Put some phones in windows to record the comings and goings. It's a little more complicated secretly recording inside the house since people have expectations of privacy. If you record inside the house, make sure it's just for your own knowledge and you don't blab to your wife about it.


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## BhereNow

I am looking into purchasing an nvr and some outside cameras. I went home today and found nothing. I am convinced though that something is going on. She has changed and I just know. I have been very crazy. At the least this will just give me the proof I need for closure. 


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## jlg07

OK, why don't you detail some of the "she's changed" and "I just know" Gut feelings are very often correct.
There are many here who can help you figure out if she is cheating. type out the timeline of why you think she is cheating to help folks here help YOU.

Another option -- get a PI to investigate her. A good one will find out quickly.

Also, does she ALWAYS have her phone on her? Can you get a hold of it and investigate? Messages, FB, email, chat or game apps, pics, etc.. You could use phone recovery software to get anything deleted (but you will need her phone for a while for that).


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## Marduk

BhereNow said:


> I am looking into purchasing an nvr and some outside cameras. I went home today and found nothing. I am convinced though that something is going on. She has changed and I just know. I have been very crazy. At the least this will just give me the proof I need for closure.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Careful now. Always trust your gut, but also believe your eyes.

What makes you think she's cheating?


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## BhereNow

Thank you. I have written a complete (and long) explanation that I need to post in the CWI forum.


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## BhereNow

I am going to do what you have suggested and more. I plan on getting very electronic here soon. Especially since I have to go out of town in about a month for a few days.


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