# I want to tie him up.....



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

So my fantasy (for the longest LOL) has been to tie my husband up to a chair or bench or something (not the bed, I want OUT of the bed). I may have casually told him this a few years ago but I have never found a good time to initiate this. I guess anytime is as good as ever? For several years now he has been initiating sex and I think I have finally got my drive back up and I want to do something extra kinky. I think this would shock the hell out of him LOL. Is there a good time for this? How do I initiate something like this without saying, "Ok, i'm going to tie you up now" LOL. 

I am pretty skilled when it comes to BJ's so of course that's going to be a big part of my little fantasy shindig.... what I am NOT skilled at, however, is talking dirty. I am not a shy woman by any means. I am sort of the "goofy" cracking jokes type. Needless to say, I would probably die laughing trying to talk dirty to my husband. I mean all out tear fest. I don't want to do that and ruin it, but how could you tie your man up and blindfold him without saying a WORD? I don't think that would pan out too well, doesn't sound very sexy at all. How do I get the nerve to talk dirty to him without wanting to laugh? I'm not talking about casual sexy giggles, I think there may actually be snorting involved if I even attempted. 

Aside from how to initiate and how to talk dirty to him, are there any other recommendations someone would like to add to make this a smooth experience? Have any of you ever tied your partner up? What all was involved? Did they enjoy it? Did you? Any pointers would be appreciated


----------



## Revel (Mar 13, 2012)

If you've never tied him up, you might want to give him a heads up before hand. If you are going to do this after dinner, maybe bring it up before dinner or during dinner that you have special plans for him tonight. Ask him if he is okay with being restrained. Let him enjoy the suspense while waiting. Then, based on his initial response, you can tell him what he needs to know. If he's a little anxious or concerned, give him details and assurances. If he's turned on and doesn't seem concerned, then just say some things to get him more excited, but you don't have to give away any surprises.

As far as talking dirty, don't worry about not laughing. That can be part of the fun. Here are some suggestions:
Narrate what is happening, and ask obvious questions that you already know the answer to:
- Do you like it when I ......?
- Do you want me to .....?
- Do you want me to ..... ?
- Do you want to ..... my ..... ?
- Do you want me to ..... some more?
- Do you like seeing my ..... ?

Also, get him to participate. If you've got him tied up, then tell him what to say if he wants you to do something:
- I want to hear you beg me to ...... 
- Let me hear you say "......"


----------



## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

It would drive me nuts if my wife tied me up. She, too, is not an initiator and it would be a pleasant surprise. 

Perhaps a drink or two would loosen the OP up to be more daring in thus aspect and the verbal part. I know my wife is a different woman in bed when she has a few.


----------



## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

Tie him up with silly string and tell him your going to spank him like the bad monkey he is. Oh and makes sure he's wearing the blindfold not you. I made that mistake once and whacked my shin a good one. Although what came out of my mouth after that sure sounded seriously dirty....


----------



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> It would drive me nuts if my wife tied me up. She, too, is not an initiator and it would be a pleasant surprise.
> 
> Perhaps a drink or two would loosen the OP up to be more daring in thus aspect and the verbal part. I know my wife is a different woman in bed when she has a few.


I would kill for a drink.....but i'm 7 months preggo with baby #4 LOL. 

I'm not really shy in bed at all, i'm down for whatever (ok there are a few exceptions). My main thing is being able to initiate this without blatantly telling him what's up and ruining the surprise. I tried to talk to him earlier about "fantasies" so I could get a feel for how he would respond to being tied up. That way i'm not doing anything that makes him uncomfortable......but knowing my husband he'd totally be down for it. I just don't know how to pull it off....

And then dirty talking..... it's not that i'm embarrassed, I don't think there are many things in this world that could embarrass me, like I said, i'm a goofball anyways lol. I just don't know if I could control the laughter. I know some light giggles would be fun but if I am bursting at the seams with laughter then I know he wouldn't take the whole thing seriously and knowing him he may get offended like, "Why did you tie me up if your just going to laugh the whole time" type of thing lol. So I want to get around that.


----------



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Some people have bad reactions to that. I would start with light restraint, something that seems like restraint but he can get out of. They sell handcuffs at the sex toy stores that have a latch on them so the person can get out if they want. Or start out telling him to hold his hands behind his back and lightly tie a scarf around his wrists. 
Tell him he has to keep his hands behind him if he wants to get his reward.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I apparently failed with a lot of communication in my marriage, but we were never embarrassed to talk about what we wanted with sex. If we wanted something, we just mentioned it; there really didn't have to be a special moment. I enjoyed my x wife tying me up, and i think we just mentioned it one day and got the ropes. 

Do you feel he will really be against it? Will he think it is weird? Do you feel he will want you to talk dirty or is that something you want to do?


----------



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

southbound said:


> I apparently failed with a lot of communication in my marriage, but we were never embarrassed to talk about what we wanted with sex. If we wanted something, we just mentioned it; there really didn't have to be a special moment. I enjoyed my x wife tying me up, and i think we just mentioned it one day and got the ropes.
> 
> Do you feel he will really be against it? Will he think it is weird? Do you feel he will want you to talk dirty or is that something you want to do?


He's already said he would be down for it.... No, I don't want to talk dirty LOL. It's not something I think I could do too well. But I imagine it would take a lot out of it for him if I were to say nothing the entire time....


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

kl84 said:


> So my fantasy (for the longest LOL) has been to tie my husband up to a chair or bench or something (not the bed, I want OUT of the bed). I may have casually told him this a few years ago but I have never found a good time to initiate this. I guess anytime is as good as ever?


Go for it!



> For several years now he has been initiating sex and I think I have finally got my drive back up and I want to do something extra kinky. I think this would shock the hell out of him LOL. Is there a good time for this? How do I initiate something like this without saying, "Ok, i'm going to tie you up now" LOL.


If you want to be safe, just tell him you got a surprise for him after getting him in the mood. If you want to surprise him, cuff him when he least expects it.



> I am pretty skilled when it comes to BJ's so of course that's going to be a big part of my little fantasy shindig.... what I am NOT skilled at, however, is talking dirty. I am not a shy woman by any means. I am sort of the "goofy" cracking jokes type. Needless to say, I would probably die laughing trying to talk dirty to my husband. I mean all out tear fest.


My wife and I laugh a lot with our dirty talks and sometimes it's so cheesy we just end up bursting out laughing. Especially when we play a games like superior officer/inspection/slave etc etc

Just roleplay and it'll come naturally. After a while you'll be dirty talking instinctively.



> I don't want to do that and ruin it, but how could you tie your man up and blindfold him without saying a WORD? I don't think that would pan out too well, doesn't sound very sexy at all.
> How do I get the nerve to talk dirty to him without wanting to laugh? I'm not talking about casual sexy giggles, I think there may actually be snorting involved if I even attempted.


You're thinking too much in my opinion, and it's going to show. You're being a bit self-concious, just go with it! One of my wife's strengths is how she simply doesn't give a crap when it comes to getting what she wants and doing what she wants to her man (Also a problem!!!). As such, she's a natural at it and confident, and THAT's sexy.



> Aside from how to initiate and how to talk dirty to him, are there any other recommendations someone would like to add to make this a smooth experience? Have any of you ever tied your partner up? What all was involved? Did they enjoy it? Did you? Any pointers would be appreciated


Just don't go too far. My wife tortured me years ago and I banned her from restraining or cuffing me since then. She would be the best at this if only she could control her fantasies once she realises she has all the power.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

kl84 said:


> He's already said he would be down for it.... No, I don't want to talk dirty LOL. It's not something I think I could do too well. But I imagine it would take a lot out of it for him if I were to say nothing the entire time....


Don't worry about talking dirty to the point you feel like you are acting, just do whatever comes natural. Don't feel like you have to be in a porn movie. Just let out some ooooooos and ahhhhhhs, and an occasional "oh, yeah" and "I love this" while he's squirming around. That's how it was with us. We never felt we had to change things just because I was tied up.


----------



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

I definitely couldn't act like I am in a porn hahaha. Those girls sound so ridiculous LOL. But even the simple "I like that" makes me feel SO stupid. I can barely even utter a word during sex. Hell, forget sex, I can't even refer to my husband as honey, baby, sweetie, babe, etc without feeling ridiculous. I'm confident about pretty much everything else and shockingly enough I am one of the most talkative, verbal creatures I know LOL. But just saying *anything* remotely sexy makes me feel incredibly dumb. I know he doesn't care but I would feel stupid and it would show.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

We use safe words. Colors work good...yellow= keep going but softer......red=get the freaken off me now and untie me.

Setting a senerio is every thing...like my wife walking up to me with a wooden spoon and demading to be spanked, doesn't work.

But walking up to me and confessing she was bad and spend to much money on paper towels, can set the mood....even though its sub on top, its not nearly as obvious and confronting me and demanding to be spanked.

I think the same can apply in your case when you appraoch your H and acuse him of being bad.....


Again its the set up, especially when its obvious, like scolding him for combing his hair wrong and commencing with the ductape, rope, and leather tac.

Putting equipment aside...its the set up and the dirty talk that will get you were you want to be IMHO.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Oh come on, that's the fun of it! Just don't take yourself seriously lol! Let your hair down and have fun being stupid and dumb


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

kl84 said:


> I definitely couldn't act like I am in a porn hahaha. Those girls sound so ridiculous LOL. But even the simple "I like that" makes me feel SO stupid. I can barely even utter a word during sex. Hell, forget sex, I can't even refer to my husband as honey, baby, sweetie, babe, etc without feeling ridiculous. I'm confident about pretty much everything else and shockingly enough I am one of the most talkative, verbal creatures I know LOL. But just saying *anything* remotely sexy makes me feel incredibly dumb. I know he doesn't care but I would feel stupid and it would show.


Sorry girl, but you need to figure this sh*t out!!!

Like you said it isn't about hi,...he doesnt care...its about empowering you and getting past what *you* think is dumb.


I think kissing my wife and be romantic is dumb ( I just want to hold her down and bang), but if a want to meet her needs I have to act dumb. My point is it isn't about what you think but meeting your lovers need.


----------



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

the guy said:


> Sorry girl, but you need to figure this sh*t out!!!
> 
> Like you said it isn't about hi,...he doesnt care...its about empowering you and getting past what *you* think is dumb.
> 
> ...


LMFAO. 

But this is the one instance I am seriously at a loss for words. Any suggestions on what to say? Seriously. What do I say?


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

kl84 said:


> LMFAO.
> 
> But this is the one instance I am seriously at a loss for words. Any suggestions on what to say? Seriously. What do I say?


If being silent is your usual, I'm sure it will be ok during the tie up. He might think it more strange if you suddenly did start talking. Just do it and be yourself. Every guy is different, but silence wouldn't bother me if that is your norm.


----------



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

the guy said:


> We use safe words. Colors work good...yellow= keep going but softer......red=get the freaken off me now and untie me.
> 
> Setting a senerio is every thing...like my wife walking up to me with a wooden spoon and demading to be spanked, doesn't work.
> 
> ...


I'm not really going for a "you've been a bad boy, let me punish you" thing.....more of a "haha you're tied down....ya can't do nothing.....ya can't do nothing..... I can have my way with you and you can't touch me or anything." type of thing. But hey, if he wanted to be spanked with a spatula I am sure I could pull that off and just remind him of how insane it drives me when he forgets to push the shower thing down and I splash myself when trying to run bathwater.... Oh I would spank him good for that one, and probably mean it LOL. 

And we wouldn't need safe words because for one, we know each other too well. When a man let's a woman trim his butt hairs it says, "Hey. I like you. I trust you"....type of thing. And as much as the idea of tying him up turns me on, torture does *not* turn me on. I do not want to suffocate him, leave marks and bruises, gag him, whip him, or have my way with his anus. Not at all. Just bj's and cowgirl style.....without him being able to move. I'm easy to please lol.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

kl84 said:


> I'm not really going for a "you've been a bad boy, let me punish you" thing.....more of a "haha you're tied down....ya can't do nothing.....ya can't do nothing..... I can have my way with you and you can't touch me or anything." type of thing. But hey, if he wanted to be spanked with a spatula I am sure I could pull that off and just remind him of how insane it drives me when he forgets to push the shower thing down and I splash myself when trying to run bathwater.... Oh I would spank him good for that one, and probably mean it LOL.
> 
> And we wouldn't need safe words because for one, we know each other too well. When a man let's a woman trim his butt hairs it says, "Hey. I like you. I trust you"....type of thing. And as much as the idea of tying him up turns me on, torture does *not* turn me on. I do not want to suffocate him, leave marks and bruises, gag him, whip him, or have my way with his anus. Not at all. Just bj's and cowgirl style.....without him being able to move. I'm easy to please lol.


That is exactly the attitude we had. We never cared anything about torture, not at all, it was just the "I've got you and you can't do anything about it" attitude. Just be yourself and I think it will be great. We didn't have safe words either.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> I can have my way with you and you can't touch me or anything


That works 

Just be yourself and go with it, and yes -> don't try to emulate porn, the missus herself has her own crazy charm but that's her sexual personality and I like it as long as it doesn't get carried away.



> And as much as the idea of tying him up turns me on, torture does *not* turn me on. I do not want to suffocate him, leave marks and bruises, gag him, whip him, or have my way with his anus. Not at all. Just bj's and cowgirl style.....without him being able to move. I'm easy to please lol.


Then you have nothing to worry about lol!


----------



## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

kl84 said:


> So my fantasy (for the longest LOL) has been to tie my husband up to a chair or bench or something (not the bed, I want OUT of the bed). I may have casually told him this a few years ago but I have never found a good time to initiate this. I guess anytime is as good as ever? For several years now he has been initiating sex and I think I have finally got my drive back up and I want to do something extra kinky. I think this would shock the hell out of him LOL. Is there a good time for this? How do I initiate something like this without saying, "Ok, i'm going to tie you up now" LOL.
> 
> I am pretty skilled when it comes to BJ's so of course that's going to be a big part of my little fantasy shindig.... what I am NOT skilled at, however, is talking dirty. I am not a shy woman by any means. I am sort of the "goofy" cracking jokes type. Needless to say, I would probably die laughing trying to talk dirty to my husband. I mean all out tear fest. I don't want to do that and ruin it, but how could you tie your man up and blindfold him without saying a WORD? I don't think that would pan out too well, doesn't sound very sexy at all. How do I get the nerve to talk dirty to him without wanting to laugh? I'm not talking about casual sexy giggles, I think there may actually be snorting involved if I even attempted.
> 
> Aside from how to initiate and how to talk dirty to him, are there any other recommendations someone would like to add to make this a smooth experience? Have any of you ever tied your partner up? What all was involved? Did they enjoy it? Did you? Any pointers would be appreciated


I just picked up the "sportsheets under the be restrain system" off of amazon for about $25 and shipping. It's meant for the bed, but the "cuffs" come off via a clip. These things have possibilites. Clipping them together for handcuffs! I'm sure it would not take much to make a very quick restriant system for a chair.

Were I him, I would love this....

You come out of the bedroom in a sexy nightie. Start kissing me and rubbing on my groin. Strip me naked but leave your clothes on. Guide me to a chair and have me sit down. Start teasing with hands and licks. Then bring out the restraints. When he inquires "WTH?" or something along those lines, just put a finger to his lips and "shh" him. Be sexy, and get him restrained. Start with a bj. When he starts getting really into it, drop your bottoms and straddle him. All the while he is restrained.

Oh...my....gawd...that would be awesome!

You don't have to dirty talk. Just take control in a sweet and sexy way. Let him know who's in command at this moment, but do it sweetly and sexily. I don't know how any guy could complain about that!


----------



## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I wouldn't tell him. I would dangle the handcuffs in his face, I am pretty sure he will get the message on what you intend to do with them.


----------



## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

kl84 said:


> LMFAO.
> 
> But this is the one instance I am seriously at a loss for words. Any suggestions on what to say? Seriously. What do I say?


If you feel the need to speak, soft questions and statements while touching or doing things to him, like "Do you like this" or "I can see that you love this" can be great. Nothing real dirty but very sexy in the moment. If you are excited and it shows in your voice that helps.

As far as the safeword, I do think it better to have one than not. It helps him to have a way out. It helps you to know that he is fine with things. Better safe than sorry (pun fully intended).


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

ladybird said:


> I wouldn't tell him. I would dangle the handcuffs in his face, I am pretty sure he will get the message on what you intend to do with them.


This....I think part of the excitement is the unknown.








_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

Well we don't have handcuffs.... and I guess I just realized, as he is in the shower excited about it, I haven't exactly worked out the logistics of it LOL. 

We have no bed posts.... that's cool, don't want a bed involved anyways.

We have a bench that might work nicely, but what if it doesn't allow for maneuvering room? 

I'm gonna scramble up some scarves...... and a blindfold so he can't see me secretly laughing while I try and figure out how to MacGuyver him to the bench LOL. This is going to be hilarious LOL.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

kl84 said:


> Well we don't have handcuffs.... and I guess I just realized, as he is in the shower excited about it, I haven't exactly worked out the logistics of it LOL.
> 
> We have no bed posts.... that's cool, don't want a bed involved anyways.
> 
> ...


Let us know if it was a positive experience!


----------



## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

kl84 said:


> So my fantasy (for the longest LOL) has been to tie my husband up to a chair or bench or something (not the bed, I want OUT of the bed). I may have casually told him this a few years ago but I have never found a good time to initiate this. I guess anytime is as good as ever? For several years now he has been initiating sex and I think I have finally got my drive back up and I want to do something extra kinky. I think this would shock the hell out of him LOL. Is there a good time for this? How do I initiate something like this without saying, "Ok, i'm going to tie you up now" LOL.
> 
> I am pretty skilled when it comes to BJ's so of course that's going to be a big part of my little fantasy shindig.... what I am NOT skilled at, however, is talking dirty. I am not a shy woman by any means. I am sort of the "goofy" cracking jokes type. Needless to say, I would probably die laughing trying to talk dirty to my husband. I mean all out tear fest. I don't want to do that and ruin it, but how could you tie your man up and blindfold him without saying a WORD? I don't think that would pan out too well, doesn't sound very sexy at all. How do I get the nerve to talk dirty to him without wanting to laugh? I'm not talking about casual sexy giggles, I think there may actually be snorting involved if I even attempted.
> 
> Aside from how to initiate and how to talk dirty to him, are there any other recommendations someone would like to add to make this a smooth experience? Have any of you ever tied your partner up? What all was involved? Did they enjoy it? Did you? Any pointers would be appreciated


Make up a safe word. tell him what its for. Go Time.


----------

