# Can lack of material things be a turn off?



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

My current situation combined with the "Welder, good enough" thread has prompted this question. Are there certain material things, or lack of, that would generally be a turn off for a lot of women?

My situation: I am recently divorced. My wife got the house. Luckily, we have a family farm house that I moved into, which helps a lot financially. It's not the worst house in the world, but certainly not the kind of house that you ask your guests, "would you like to tour the house" while walking around with a smile while showing off each room. Some might even call it a dump.

My vehicle, while not the worst I've seen, is several years old and nothing special. 

I'm not broke; I have a few bucks for a rainy day and continue to work at a job that makes good money.

I can't see this being very attractive to a lot of women, even though I'm the same guy I' was when I lived in the nice, modern house. 

SimplyAmorous posted in another thread that they actually looked for a house with an outhouse once because she wanted something in the country. I'm not sure if that's what a lot are looking for, though. I can just see meeting a woman and then her jaw dropping when I bring her to the house.

Can what a guy has, or doesn't have, be a turn off even if a woman seems to like the guy at first? 

And yes, I'm the same guy who has been expressing that i may want to stay single the rest of my life, but I'm curious just in case.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

If you date a woman who focuses a lot on material things, run away from her as fast as you can. 

You will never be able to satisfy her, she will always want more no matter what you have. 

Yes, we like men who can provide security, but I sure don't want a man to marry a woman who is a doll.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

It's a great filter, as in, filtering out the undesirable people from your life. A lot of people (and that includes women, haha) would like the idea of a farm house, and having little to no mortgage would be awesome! So, how old are you and where do you live?


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## lime (Jul 3, 2010)

A smart, understanding woman won't care where you live or what kind of car you drive, as long as you're happy and fulfilled! 

The only caveat I would add would be that responsible financial management is important. Are you saving for retirement? Are you managing your taxes well? Are you out of debt, or actively working to get out of debt? Those things are indications of security, not necessarily material wealth, and they are important to many women.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

lime said:


> A smart, understanding woman won't care where you live or what kind of car you drive, as long as you're happy and fulfilled!
> 
> The only caveat I would add would be that responsible financial management is important. Are you saving for retirement? Are you managing your taxes well? Are you out of debt, or actively working to get out of debt? Those things are indications of security, not necessarily material wealth, and they are important to many women.


I have child support, but $0 debt. I always considered myself a good money manager, although i don't have a fancy plan. I spend sensibly and will draw a good retirement and can retire when I'm 54.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

You sound like youre in a relativly good position to me. I always picture myself living in a crappy efficiency apt, eating off of paper plates and plastic furniture, if i got divorced. (which is ironically how I was living before the marriage)

I use to think all women cared about was $$$ , thats true for some women but I think the majority of regular woman really just want 2 things, a guy who has ambition, and can make them laugh.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

I love old places. You can restore them. Remodel your way, making it a beautiful place.

I do not like for a guy to try to impress me with his material possessions, and his money. I feel like he is trying to buy me. I'm more interested in what's in a mans heart than what's in his wallet.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Wow, I would hope not. If you analyze the spending habits of many self made millionaires, you'll find a noticable lack of interest in material things. Maybe they're just too busy working to pay taxes, though. My last boss made about half a million per year, but drove an 87 Buick. Seems like most of my female friends say they're more happy if things in the fridge don't move around in mold, and the toilets are clean, if you get my drift.


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## TemperToo (Apr 23, 2011)

All someone would have to say to me would be "family farm" and I would be happy. But then again, I'm a country gal.  

But seriously, as long as you keep it clean and kept up, be proud! Not having any debt is a HUGE thing in this day and age. Wish I could say the same!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

franklinfx said:


> You sound like youre in a relativly good position to me. I always picture myself living in a crappy efficiency apt, eating off of paper plates and plastic furniture, if i got divorced. (which is ironically how I was living before the marriage)
> 
> I use to think all women cared about was $$$ , thats true for some women but I think the majority of regular woman really just want 2 things, a guy who has ambition, and can make them laugh.



The only problem is that if I ever do have anything, then I will be in debt. Like I said, I'm not broke, but it wouldn't take long to exhaust the amount if newer things like a vehicle and a house come into play. 




sisters359 said:


> It's a great filter, as in, filtering out the undesirable people from your life. A lot of people (and that includes women, haha) would like the idea of a farm house, and having little to no mortgage would be awesome! So, how old are you and where do you live?


I live in a very rural area and am 43.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

southbound said:


> SimplyAmorous posted in another thread that they actually looked for a house with an outhouse once because she wanted something in the country. I'm not sure if that's what a lot are looking for, though. I can just see meeting a woman and then her jaw dropping when I bring her to the house.


Oh Southbound you are funny, I wasn't specificallly looking for a house with an outhouse, Ha ha, but this peice of property was off the road & had 40 acres and we could afford it ! So it WAS a consideration at that time. Glad we didnt buy it, cause we got more acres, a real bathroom and further off the road by waiting a few more years. 

I think the majority of women DO look at what you own, because is spells security for them. It is a measurnig stick. But is it really? Sometimes that gorgeous new house , that expensive car only means you are drowning in debt! I would want NO PART of that type of lifestyle. 

I personally would rather marry the Farmer with an old farmhouse in need of repairs that we can work on together to save $$ than the Rich business man who lives in an immaculate City Townhouse. I like to spend time outdoors. I dont want to see cement, I want to see grass & trees, or cornfilelds & cows. Realors used to get so mad at me, because every time I talked to one, I had to explain to her, I didn't give a hoot what was inside the house, it was simply irrelevant to me, all I cared about was if the house was out in the country and what I would see outside of my windows -hopefully no other houses. I figure you CAN change anything about that house, add on, even gut it if you have too, but the land, well that is where MY heart was at. 


> I have child support, but $0 debt. I always considered myself a good money manager, although i don't have a fancy plan. I spend sensibly and will draw a good retirement and can retire when I'm 54.


 Now THIS is what I would be looking at - management of $$, means so much more than what you accually own. Most of those people do not even own what others "think" they own. I bet your financial worth is beyond many with nicer houses. I know me & my husbands is. We are also debt free, but he can not retire at no 54.

Well done Southbound!


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Lack of material things would not bother me, unless they were accompanied by a man who was less than ambitious (i.e., lazy or slovenly) or had a very pessimistic attitude about everything.

I grew up as a country girl and really miss that lifestyle. I think you are lucky to have a place in the country.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

As long as the guy has a job and works hard that's all that matters to me. I personally hate our materialistic world. I think it's the reason we have a lot of the problems we have. I live in a simple, tiny rental, drive 10 year old paid off cars, etc. I'm a minimalist at heart.

I think if you do meet a woman who cares about material things you should run away FAST.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Focus on you. Stop worrying about whether you will impress someone or not. You just got a divorce. Right now you need to put all your energy on YOU and YOUR healing, not potential future dates and what they will think of you.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

magnoliagal said:


> As long as the guy has a job and works hard that's all that matters to me. I personally hate our materialistic world. I think it's the reason we have a lot of the problems we have. I live in a simple, tiny rental, drive 10 year old paid off cars, etc. I'm a minimalist at heart.
> 
> I think if you do meet a woman who cares about material things you should run away FAST.


 I agree , RUN! I tell all my sons, if you find a woman who can not shop on sale, use coupons, do rebating and have an appreciation for Garage sales, Ebay and discount stores, RUN RUN RUN! 

Here we are again Magnoliagal, I am so much like you! Our newest vehicle is 1997. I think buying a new car is like the biggest $$ waster known to man. And sometimes even more trouble-, the darn keys cost like $50 to make, if your windsheild wipers go out , the whole car might shut down (I am exagerating here of coarse, not sure what crazy things are in these newer cars these days). So you save on gas, but pay a fortune to see why your computer crashed & the gas pedal won't move. 

And whoever invented these Electric windows -I would like to shoot the man!! Once I got SO annoyed with our last Suburban, windows acting up, I went out & spent $200 for 4 SIMPLE OLD winders & the door parts just so I could Trash those electric nightmares. I despise the fact you have to have the key in the ignition just to get the darn window up & down, then when they go out, you have spend $40 + for a new motor & take time out of your day for being too lazy to use a winder. I am telling you, the inventer should be shot. (this is a pet peeve of mine). That is one irritation none of us should ever have to deal with in life. 

I also prefer "standards" - those are a dying breed. 

The last 2 cars we bought , I put it on my credit card - one was $2000, we still have it after 7 yrs, the other $1,800. Still running good after a year & a half. It helps that my husband can fix them though, and do body work. Nothing wrong with driving an older car, just keep it clean & reliable. 

I highly RESPECT the thrifty man.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

SA thankfully now thrifty is becomming more chic. I think most people who are materialistic are in debt up to their eyeballs. My best friend is trying to reform now that she's maxed out her credit cards. She paid a fortune every month to get her hair done, just got a boob job, buys pricey shoes and only wears an outfit a few times before boring of it.

I feel sorry for her husband. He doesn't make a lot of money but if you say how they live you'd think otherwise. I cringe at what they give their kids for presents.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Your post brought back some memories. After my estranged husband graduated from college, we were poor. Although we had been married for two years, we were living from paycheck to paycheck. We decided to move back to my family's farm. The family let us have an old three bedroom farm house. It was a dump, but it was free and it enabled me to be a SAHM. In addition, my husband and I were able to save up a lot of money to eventually start our own business. However, my in-laws constantly fused about our place. The MIL was once heard to say. " I didn't put my son through five years of college only to have him living in a dump." That hurt! 

Material things are nice, but I'm more impressed by a man who has no debt. I like to see someone who knows how to manage money. Heck, I would be supper impressed, if the man had a nice group health insurance plan. lol I can be rather self-sufficient out here on the farm, but health insurance is what I lack most. It depends on the individual woman (and her background)......


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

What you describe wouldn't bother me one bit. I don't find really rich people attractive.

What I find attractive is kindness. Someone who is willing to put in an effort, who will do nice things for you without being asked, someone who truly cares for you. If you don't have that despite monetary situations, then you don't have anything really.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I'd be happy with it! You own a house, have a car, AND a job! You're a catch! 

Most women I know will look at a run down house and think about it's potential, not what it actually looks like. The same thing goes for the man who owns it.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

Not having many material things is NOT a turnoff. Having a hardworking man is a HUGE turn on for me no matter what he's bringing home in his paycheck. I'll buy my own material things if I need something that badly.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

827Aug said:


> Material things are nice, but I'm more impressed by a man who has no debt. I like to see someone who knows how to manage money. Heck, I would be supper impressed, if the man had a nice group health insurance plan. lol I can be rather self-sufficient out here on the farm, but health insurance is what I lack most. It depends on the individual woman (and her background)......


The worry over health insurance kept my husband at a lousy paying Job for many many years, that was always very important to us. He was going to quit his job early on & they offered him a golden plan to stay, that kept him there for another 15 yrs or so. Even though the pay was not that great, those health benefits were worth a ton. 

We can use coupons for food, we can buy our clothes on consignment , but it is not like you can get discounts with health Insurance, one bad accident can take everything you worked for- for a lifetime.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

SimplyAmorous said:


> We can use coupons for food, we can buy our clothes on consignment , but it is not like you can get discounts with health Insurance, one bad accident can take everything you worked for- for a lifetime.


Exactly! That's what happened to me in 2009. I lost my insurance and got sick before I could get enrolled in another plan. The dang medical bill was $220K! When my divorce is final, I will be without again. And no one will write me for an individual policy.

So, if southbound has a decent job with health insurance plus lives in a rural paradise with no debt, he is an awesome catch! And the peace of mind that should bring. If a woman can't see all of that, you are better off without her.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I appreciate all the encouraging comments! I'm wondering where all the women like you all are at in my neck of the woods. :scratchhead:

I don't suppose I'm worried that women won't think I'm rich, I certainly don't want a woman if she is only interested in money of that level, but my place probably doesn't even have the appearance, however, of being "normally nice." 

Most of the average people around here who are middle class, hard working people have a fairly nice home and it is considered "normal." I would say the average house for a person like that is a nice 1500-2000 square foot, three bedroom house that is nicely furnished. It's not Donald trump, but nice. On the other hand, my current house probably looks more like the one on Green Acres.:rofl: Actually, it's appearance is a little better, but you get my drift. 

Being that I work in a white collar job where we interact with the community, I have heard a lot of negative comments from coworkers about people's homes. I don't even think they are trying to be mean, they just think that a a person in life who tries should have something better than what they often see.

I ate at a restaurant with a coworker during a training once, and the waitress was probably in her 40s. She(coworker) commented about why would a woman her age be wasting her life waiting tables. "Surely she could do better that this," she said. 

I guess I've just been around a lot of negative comments concerning material things. I guess I put too much stock in the belief that the main turn on for a woman is money.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Unfortunately those comments sound familiar. They are coming from women like my MIL. They are shallow and up to their ears in debt.....so why should their comments and opinions matter anyway? What matters is that you are happy and content.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Women are attracted to wealth. No question.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I agree , RUN! I tell all my sons, if you find a woman who can not shop on sale, use coupons, do rebating and have an appreciation for Garage sales, Ebay and discount stores, RUN RUN RUN!
> 
> Here we are again Magnoliagal, I am so much like you! Our newest vehicle is 1997. I think buying a new car is like the biggest $$ waster known to man. And sometimes even more trouble-, the darn keys cost like $50 to make, if your windsheild wipers go out , the whole car might shut down (I am exagerating here of coarse, not sure what crazy things are in these newer cars these days). So you save on gas, but pay a fortune to see why your computer crashed & the gas pedal won't move.
> 
> ...


SA,

A simple life brings the most peaceful and happiest mind. You understand that very well.  Your husband is lucky to have you! 

The Bible teaches a simple life. Buddhism teaches a simple life. 

But most people don't understand this. They have all kinds of desire for all kinds of wealth. In the end, they stab themselves with all kinds of pain. 

The price of everything has gone up, but my husband and I are well sheltered. Our mortgage is not much. We don't have car expense. We do our cooking. We buy modest clothes. I have little interest with jewelry and name brands. Other people like to compare wealth and possessions. I just want my mental peace.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

greenpearl said:


> The price of everything has gone up, but my husband and I are well sheltered. Our mortgage is not much. We don't have car expense. We do our cooking. We buy modest clothes. I have little interest with jewelry and name brands. Other people like to compare wealth and possessions. I just want my mental peace.


You are rare my friend.

But I have seen my wife say the same things... and seen her change when wads of cash happen.

It used to really bother me, but now I just accept it. I've worked quite hard to increase my income over the last year and while she has always loved me, she drools over me now.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

greenpearl said:


> But most people don't understand this. They have all kinds of desire for all kinds of wealth. In the end, they stab themselves with all kinds of pain.
> 
> ....... I just want my mental peace.


 Amen Sister GreenPearl ! Ha ha, I would MUCH rather my husband be home with me every night than out working 60+ hours a week & me having to work also - so I can have new cars, immaculate houses & my kids wear designer clothes. Not worth it. 

We enjoy fixing up our 1901 Old farmhouse a little a time, new roof last year, new carpet this Monday , layed new cement last year on a rough part of our 750ft driveway. One of our Lawn Tractors is over 35 yrs old -but it still runs good. We keep stuff till it is dead. 

Because we are savers, IF we wanted we could pay cash right now for a brand new car, but would we - NEVER ! When we do want something, the $$ is always there, and THIS IS pure PEACE of MIND! Debt would feel like a stanglehold around my neck, I am the type that does not want to owe ANYONE. It bothers me. If I can save fees, like on cable & car insurance, I pay a whole year in advance. 

There is so many troubles in this life, this is one thing me & my husband has NEVER faught about. Always on the same page. Although I am sound maga "cheap", not necessarily the case, I think nothing of spending $800 on a new SLR camera but would I buy a box of cereal priced over $1.80 -- probably not. "Quality" is very important, we don't buy cheap tools or electronics, things that will break easily. My kids have worn designer clothes too, but I get them second hand in darn good shape for 1/3 of the cost. I wait for sales, always compare prices, many times buying "refurbished" with the exact same warrenty (Computers, ipods etc). 

My husband tells everyone I can squeeze a dime out of a nickel. On 2 occasions I had the cashier owing me $$ back. I make $300 a year off my credit cards by charging everything -taxes, food - and earning between 1-5% on every dallor. Our rule when eating out is always WATER for drinks. Kids get used to this. My oldest son is also very thrifty, it has rubbed off. 

I am surely not crazy about these gas prices though ($4.09 in my town yesterday!- YIKES) We use OIL Heat and we have a Suburban! Takes about $100 to fill the darn thing. But I am not panicking (yet) because we have much reserved for troublesome times. We installed a wood /coal furnace in our last house to save on Gas heat, we might have to do this again -with these oil prices.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Of course there are a lot of shallow and materialistic people out there--the point is, there are also a lot who are not. If you work in private industry, you might be more likely to meet that type. Consider people who are in non-profit or service industries--teachers NEVER go into the profession to make money, for example!! 

Ultimately, you will be happier than anyone who needs "things" to feel happy--because all the research shows that acquiring a new "thing" brings a temporary peak in happiness, followed by a return to lower levels, and then that person wants something else. 

If you continue to measure yourself by those who value material things, you will come up short. Value yourself by what you believe is important--and look for a woman who does the same. Good luck!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

sisters359 said:


> Of course there are a lot of shallow and materialistic people out there--the point is, there are also a lot who are not. If you work in private industry, you might be more likely to meet that type. Consider people who are in non-profit or service industries--teachers NEVER go into the profession to make money, for example!!


I guess i didn't mention my profession by name, but actually, I am a teacher. Teachers can sometimes be a bit snooty about material things here. maybe it's because we live in such a rural area and there aren't many Trumps or Ewing types to compare to, so being a teacher is fairly up the ladder around here.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Atholk said:


> You are rare my friend.
> 
> But I have seen my wife say the same things... and seen her change when wads of cash happen.
> 
> It used to really bother me, but now I just accept it. I've worked quite hard to increase my income over the last year and while she has always loved me, she drools over me now.


Hey hey hey, when my husband comes home with a big envelope full of money, I love it! 

I don't like men who are lazy and who don't provide. A man needs to be responsible and he has to provide. 

I am a teacher, and my husband is, too. We know what is the right amount of hours we should work. 20 for a week is a good number. Not too exhausted and still can come home with a nice envelope. Right now my husband teaches 19, I am teaching 22. We both know that we should look for more hours if they drop below 20. I won't ask my husband to work for more hours if he is
working 20 hours a week. Actually now he knows it very well, he knows that he will have to look for more hours if his hours drop below 20 a week. He has quite a few hobbies, he knows he has to work more hours to keep his hobbies going! 

Our life style is based on one income. It means when one of us doesn't work, we can still manage to make ends meet. We choose to live like this, we don't feel we are deprived of anything. 

I am glad that you are making more money now, and your wife is drooling over you!  Hey, we are human, human have desire. 

I just don't want you to overwork. I think your wife shouldn't want you to overwork either. Our body can only work for a certain amount of hours and we can only take a certain level of stress, more than that, we are stressed and we won't have energy to enjoy what we have.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> There is so many troubles in this life, this is one thing me & my husband has NEVER faught about. Always on the same page. Although I am sound maga "cheap", not necessarily the case, I think nothing of spending $800 on a new SLR camera but would I buy a box of cereal priced over $1.80 -- probably not. "Quality" is very important, we don't buy cheap tools or electronics, things that will break easily. My kids have worn designer clothes too, but I get them second hand in darn good shape for 1/3 of the cost. I wait for sales, always compare prices, many times buying "refurbished" with the exact same warrenty (Computers, ipods etc).


We are like this too!  We don't buy this or that often, our apartment has been pretty the same for the last five years. I believe it will be the same for many years! But when we do buy something, we buy stuff with good quality. He wanted to buy a second hand motorcycle, I told him NO. I just don't want to go to a mechanic all the time. He wanted to buy a second hand coffee machine, I told him NO, he got a brand new sexy one. When we buy things for our apartment, like air-conditioners or a refrigerator, we buy good ones. 

For clothes, we always wait for sales too. I never buy things new arrival, I buy them at the end of the season! 50% off at least. I noticed when they are 50% off, I can still find good ones. When they are 30% off, I have little luck! 

I seldom wear jewelry. My husband really saves a lot of money on me in this area. He wants me to wear jewelry sometimes.

SA, there is one thing I wish I could spend more money on!  SEXY LINGERIE! I linger at lingerie stores a lot, it is the only time I wish I could splurge!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> We are like this too!  SA, there is one thing I wish I could spend more money on!  SEXY LINGERIE! I linger at lingerie stores a lot, it is the only time I wish I could splurge!


Wow. I would have given my x wife the green light to go wild in a lingerie store. It's not so much that I needed her to wear lingerie, but just to think she was giving our sex life that much attention and enjoyed it would have been a major turn on!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

southbound said:


> Wow. I would have given my x wife the green light to go wild in a lingerie store. It's not so much that I needed her to wear lingerie, but just to think she was giving our sex life that much attention and enjoyed it would have been a major turn on!


Southbound,

You will find a woman who wears like that one day! Make sure you tell her you like that right start from the beginning! Let her know what she can do to make you happy. Of course you make her happy by doing things she likes! 

Some imported lingerie brands here cost at least $100 for a set. They are pretty sexy, but they are really too expensive for us. Even my husband won't want to spend that much money on a lingerie set like that for me! 

My husband wants me to wear sexy lingerie, $50 for a set is what we don't feel too painful.


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## bunnybear (Jan 13, 2011)

If I were single again, renting or owning a dumpy house isn't gonna that important to me. As long as the guy is decent, respectful, intelligent and successful (doesn't have to be rich) then it's all good . Besides it's only dating, doesn't mean I'll marry him right away so who cares about where he lives as long as you don't live at your parents basement or homeless.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

greenpearl said:


> SA, there is one thing I wish I could spend more money on!  SEXY LINGERIE! I linger at lingerie stores a lot, it is the only time I wish I could splurge!


Greenpearl - Do EBAY! I bought a ton of lingerie on there during a spell, I was obsessed with looking for HOT things to turn my husband on. Since I never did this in my younger years, I was having a ball. It was hit or miss, but I got some darn sweet things on there, did the Sexy Nurse thing, a hot french maid set up, bought some gloves, fishnet hose. Then we do some photo shoots for memories. 

Compare prices, you would be amazed at the deals you can snag. 

I know you are in a different country -have a different Ebay, but I bet yours is similar :

sexy lingerie | eBay


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Greenpearl - Do EBAY! I bought a ton of lingerie on there during a spell, I was obsessed with looking for HOT things to turn my husband on. Since I never did this in my younger years, I was having a ball. It was hit or miss, but I got some darn sweet things on there, did the Sexy Nurse thing, a hot french maid set up, bought some gloves, fishnet hose. Then we do some photo shoots for memories.
> 
> Compare prices, you would be amazed at the deals you can snag.
> 
> ...


SA,

Thank you a lot! 

I checked the website, it has a lot of sexy stuff I love! I will go on Ebay in Taiwan and buy some of their stuff!  I am going to buy this!  http://cgi.ebay.com/SEXY-LINGERIE-B...ltDomain_0&hash=item51992d1693#ht_3854wt_1025


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I know there are a lot of teachers who are materialistic, but there are also a lot who are not--but again, where you live may make a big difference in that. No one works in an urban school district for the money, that is for sure! 

Of course pretty much everyone enjoys a windfall--but that is totally different than expecting a partner to "keep me in the style to which I would like to become accustomed." 

Just be yourself. If a woman is disappointed in your housing arrangement, that is her problem. Like I said, it is a good way to know who to filter out. Don't apologize for the way you live.


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## Leah L (Jan 11, 2011)

When I met my husband, at the end of the evening we walked to our cars....both were well taken care of, his was 18 yrs old, mine about 15.  

We both make a fine living and we could have had nice new cars but it wasn't high on the priority list for either of us. 

We have laughed about this for a long time, so many people over the years had been turned off by our old auto's, but hey, they are well taken care of and run great! 

I think your situation sounds just fine, if it turns someone off, so be it. I am appalled at the number of people with fine things who are bloated with debt. They will be working until who knows what age, don't have savings and a small thing could turn their world upside down. 

You sound just fine to me and you'll run into the right person.

Best of luck, Leah


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Leah L said:


> When I met my husband, at the end of the evening we walked to our cars....both were well taken care of, his was 18 yrs old, mine about 15.
> 
> We both make a fine living and we could have had nice new cars but it wasn't high on the priority list for either of us.
> 
> ...


I agree with your view on money 100%.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It doesn't matter how YOU feel about it. I am sure my wife would agree with the premise though. And never having held a job since the wedding day, is not a conflict in her mind. Yet the darling literally can't get through 10 minutes of talking w/o talking about someone else's money. THAT'S a real turnoff, let me tell you. Because, not to toot my own horn, but I do ok. She's never HAD to work.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Some of you have mentioned the house in the country as a positive thing, even in other threads; however, being from a rural area, i don't think it's that big of a deal.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

southbound said:


> Some of you have mentioned the house in the country as a positive thing, even in other threads; however, being from a rural area, i don't think it's that big of a deal.


I think that has to do with the person and the area. Around here no one seems to like that idea. Here it has to be a beach house. At my place I have no nearby neighbors. However, I have wildlife all around the house. Some days it's not uncommon to have 40 to 50 turkeys on the front lawn including males in full strut mode. And the deer regularly nap in the back yard. Even with that, I find few people who are remotely interested in the serenity. Unfortunately here everything revolves around that darn crowded beach an hour away. There again it's the materialist factor at work. I'm still trying to figure this one out....


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## Nickitta (May 12, 2011)

Hello!

I would love to say "it doesn't matter and love conquers all", unfortunately it doesn't. Women of a more mature age, in particular, aspire to a certain standard of comfort and won't settle lightly for anything else.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Nickitta said:


> I would love to say "it doesn't matter and love conquers all", unfortunately it doesn't. Women of a more mature age, in particular, aspire to a certain standard of comfort and won't settle lightly for anything else.


Still depends on the woman. Maybe I am really Odd (I know I am), but I would happily settle for country living, even using a ringer washer & hanging my clothes outside on a line (I did this for yrs in the beginning of our marraige by choice) -if It meant I had some land & more time with my husband to enjoy it ---over the finest conveniences in a so-called "successful life" of the richer family who dwells in the city. 

I would not care how big & beautiful the house is, even with all the finest furniture , newest appliances, can even throw a inground swimming pool in there - it wouldn't mean anything to me if I didn't like the location outside of the windows of that house. 

For me, Comfort = Country, even if it is harder work, a ton of grass to cut, further away from town (more gas), using well water, even if old & need of repairs. In this way, I am very picky. And of coarse, land costs $$. 

It all depends on what is important to you. 

If I found myself single, I would only date a city guy if he was willing to move to the country with me. Or it would never work. I dislike city living that much. Only want to see it on the news and vacations. IN fact, even when we take vacations, we still prefer the country!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

People who say money doesn't matter haven't had to do without it.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

southbound said:


> Some of you have mentioned the house in the country as a positive thing, even in other threads; however, being from a rural area, i don't think it's that big of a deal.


Ya'll can keep the house in the country. I'll pass. Too much upkeep for me. At the moment I'm glad I'm renting and don't have any maintenance. I'm also surrounded by people which is cool because there is no shortage of playmates for my kids and I didn't have drive them anywhere.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> People who say money doesn't matter haven't had to do without it.


I never said money didn't matter I said A LOT of money doesn't matter. As long as I have basics and a few luxuries I'm good.


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> Lack of material things would not bother me, unless they were accompanied by a man who was less than ambitious (i.e., lazy or slovenly) or had a very pessimistic attitude about everything.


:iagree:

I'm not materialistic at all but the idea of being with a lazy moocher is a HUGE turn off. Does not sound like the case with you though, you have a steady job and are not looking to live off of a woman so I don't see that it should be a problem having a less than perfect house. If you want to make little improvements in the condition here and there for yourself, do it. But otherwise, I think if you ever got a serious woman in her life she would probably take over that stuff soon enough anyway


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

southbound said:


> My current situation combined with the "Welder, good enough" thread has prompted this question. Are there certain material things, or lack of, that would generally be a turn off for a lot of women? I think it depends how old you are. I have a dear friend who has wasted his life with pipe dreams. He is around your age and he lives in a basement bachelor. He also has no car....most women would not be interested in a man of 55 with not even a one bedroom apartment and no vehicle.
> 
> My situation: I am recently divorced. My wife got the house. Luckily, we have a family farm house that I moved into, which helps a lot financially. It's not the worst house in the world, but certainly not the kind of house that you ask your guests, "would you like to tour the house" while walking around with a smile while showing off each room. Some might even call it a dump. At least you have a house! You can fix it up; it's amazing what some cleaning and paint can do.
> 
> ...


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

What about a man who doesn't text? I know that most people live on their cell phones today. I have one, but I have no more need for it than i did 20 years ago before we all got accustomed to them.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

southbound said:


> What about a man who doesn't text? I know that most people live on their cell phones today. I have one, but I have no more need for it than i did 20 years ago before we all got accustomed to them.


LOL. That would also score huge points with me. I don't text and rarely use the cell phone. It is so rude how people text now. I get so annoyed when people are having a conversation with me and texting someone else.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You kids get off my lawn.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

southbound said:


> What about a man who doesn't text? I know that most people live on their cell phones today. I have one, but I have no more need for it than i did 20 years ago before we all got accustomed to them.


Having somebody who doesn't text incessantly would be a plus in my book.  Maybe it's because of my age (40's) that I think the whole incessant texting thing is a bit silly. Our family uses texting sparingly, and we never use it to carry on 'meaningless', silly conversations with each other. We use it more as a quick and easy way to communicate something succinct - such as "got delayed w/ kids - will be home @ 6".


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Enchantment said:


> Having somebody who doesn't text incessantly would be a plus in my book.  Maybe it's because of my age (40's) that I think the whole incessant texting thing is a bit silly. Our family uses texting sparingly, and we never use it to carry on 'meaningless', silly conversations with each other. We use it more as a quick and easy way to communicate something succinct - such as "got delayed w/ kids - will be home @ 6".


I still have a tracfone by choice, probably use about 100 minutes a year -just for the purpose of what you mentioned above, quick communication. My husband doesn't even have a cell phone. It costs me about $6 a month when you figure me buying lower cost cards -no cell phone can be had cheaper than that, it even has free incoming text. It has it's purpose, I am not even jealous of all the bells & whistles of other cell phone users cause I dont have their bill . 

My College bound son found a pre-paid plan with FREE unlimited internet, FREE unlimited Texting and 300 minutes a month for $25. I was impressed with that plan, that would be moving up in the cell phone world for me- probably my next stop if I even exhaust my carried over 1000+ minutes on my old tracfone. 

I agree, kids today -Texting seems half of what they live for -eyes & fingers glued to their cell phone. Feel like doing what this guy did >> YouTube - ‪AT&T - Ski Lift Commercial‬‏


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> People who say money doesn't matter haven't had to do without it.


I have had to do without it, and it matters to the point of being able to ensure you have a place to live, good food, health coverage and enough money to have some fun in life (go out to dinner, go for a drive, go camping, visit friends and relatives, have a BBQ etc), also that you have access to things like the internet which I see as essential these days for school work for kids and employment and so forth.

But you do not need expensive clothes, and restaurants, or to stay in 5 star accommadation when you go away, you don't need a huge house. These things are not important to me.

So yes you need some security, and enough to know you can enjoy life a little.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

Just as long as you keep the place clean I would have no problems with it, or the car.
I would find that attractive actually, you are a saver and are more concerned about living within your means.
I assume you would want to date someone who feels the same, anyone else is not worth it!


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