# Just found out today, could use some advice.



## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

Just found out my h who left me seven weeks ago is seeing someone. I don't know if they've had a pa but I really suspect he has. He rang an old friend of his, drunk, and when asked where he was, said he was ...'s apartment. And he hasn't told me because my posH told him not to!! Like he deserved protection. He doesn't know I know, yet. Toyed with not telling him but not sure if that benefits me. 

How do I handle this? Do I call him on it? Do I stay quiet- is there an benefit to this? It's probably obvious what I should do but I've never been in this position. 

Is there anything else I should do? 

All this time I thought he was having a MLC, I've been supportive and thoughtful and kind, trying to help him. Been reading all these marriage books. I'm angry, but it's a cold anger. I'm a douche. I actually believed he would get over his MLC and reconcile.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You are NOT a douche.

He is.

 I am so sorry you found this out. This would explain why he left...

What do you want to do? Besides beat them both to a pulp....

Maybe it's time to serve divorce papers? Secure yourself. Sorry you are going through this. But HE is the douche. NOT YOU.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

Chopsy said:


> Just found out my h who left me seven weeks ago is seeing someone. I don't know if they've had a pa but I really suspect he has. He rang an old friend of his, drunk, and when asked where he was, said he was ...'s apartment. And he hasn't told me because my posH told him not to!! Like he deserved protection. He doesn't know I know, yet. Toyed with not telling him but not sure if that benefits me.
> 
> How do I handle this? Do I call him on it? Do I stay quiet- is there an benefit to this? It's probably obvious what I should do but I've never been in this position.
> 
> ...


Always take control and be firm. Throw him out so he sees what life will be like without his family. Never let these things continue.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Hard 180, go dark on her, detach, don'tpersuer, don't ask, don't beg, you can't force him. He's gone.

Lawyer up. File

I'm sorry friend.


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