# Hi everyone. I’m new to forum



## Angrysad (Mar 2, 2020)

I’m in my late 40’s . Been married 25 years and about 3 years ago I caught husband having emotional affair. I thought it had stopped as we went through counseling and agreed to heal together. I just found out he is now talking to someone else . I’m so angry & heart broken and don’t know how to deal with it. Hoping to get some tips as I can’t think clearly .


----------



## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Do you want to know how many affairs he had before you discovered one? That might make a difference. What is his philosophy regarding cheating?


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Who is he talking to? What is he saying?


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

*Re: Hi everyone. I’m new to forum*



Angrysad said:


> I’m in my late 40’s . Been married 25 years and about 3 years ago I caught husband having emotional affair. I thought it had stopped as we went through counseling and agreed to heal together. I just found out he is now talking to someone else . I’m so angry & heart broken and don’t know how to deal with it. Hoping to get some tips as I can’t think clearly .


So sorry for what you are going through but it looks like you have a serial cheater on your hands and there may be many more incidences which you do not know about.
Time to keep quiet and observe.
Do you work, do you have your own finances?
Do you have kids?
Do you live in a no fault state?

Time to start investigating, don't say anything, keep the evidence, (build your case). If possible use a VAR in his car where he might talk on the phone.
Start building yourself up, take care of your health, fitness etc.
Join activities without him and start doing the 180 on him for your own self.
If necessary get yourself private counselling or therapy.
Then based on the evidence, consider a lawyer. Life is too short to put up with a man who doesn't learn from his first incident.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*Re: Hi everyone. I’m new to forum*

He's throwing out more fishing lines...again.

Even after seeing how hurt you were and how badly his affair affected your lives the LAST time and going to counseling and everything else, he STILL feels the reward is worth the risk and is once again looking outside the marriage. That speaks volumes.

Is this how you want your life to be? Catching him over and over and over again?

As someone else said, it's HIGHLY doubtful that his last affair was his first time cheating on you. It's just the first time you CAUGHT him but as we all know, you hardly ever catch them the first time they do it. And the only way his last affair wasn't physical would be if the woman lives in another state or another country. Otherwise, he's likely lied to you (which they all do when caught) and has attempted to make that affair seem as innocent as he can under the circumstances (which they all do when they're caught). One of the first things pretty much ALL cheaters claim is that they didn't have sex. Your husband is no different than all the other cheaters in trying his best to minimize what happened in order to avoid divorce court. He's a cliche, he's not unique in any way. 

The bottom line is, if he and his OW from his last affair had the opportunity to spend ANY time together, they likely didn't spend that time sharing a milkshake at the malt shop. It ain't rocket science.

Sadly, you married a serial cheater. He'll always be looking for others whether you catch him or not. Only you can decide if you want to waste your time with someone like this or whether you'd rather live a more authentic life without him. When I had this choice to make between a serial cheater or moving on, I chose the authentic life and never looked back.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I'm sorry you are here. 

What was the nature of the emotional affairs?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: Hi everyone. I’m new to forum*



Angrysad said:


> I’m in my late 40’s . Been married 25 years and about 3 years ago I caught husband having emotional affair. I thought it had stopped as we went through counseling and agreed to heal together. I just found out he is now talking to someone else . I’m so angry & heart broken and don’t know how to deal with it. Hoping to get some tips as I can’t think clearly .


Your user name has been changed to remove your email address.

It is best to remain anonymous here on TAM.


----------

