# He didn't come home Saturday night.



## danigirl917 (Apr 7, 2008)

It was my husband's friends birthday Saturday night and we were invited to a party at his house. I wasn't able to attend because we couldn't find a babysitter in time. I told my husband to go to the party, but just don't come home late. He told me he would be home by 12. At 11:45 I had called him and he said he would be home by 12:45. I told him that was fine. At 1:30, he still wasn't home so I called again. He said he was playing cards and he would be home in an hour. Needless to say, he wasn't home at 1:30. At 2:30 I called again and he didn't answer the phone. I called 15 times!!!! Finally he answered and said I'm not coming home. I told him he better come home to his wife and daughter, but all he could say is I was a terrible wife for giving him a hard time about handing out with his friends. So he didn't come home until Sunday morning and slept all day. He says I am overreacting about this whole incident. But I believe if you have a family, you belong at home with them and not sleeping at a house with your friends and random girls. Am I wrong???


----------



## carmaenforcer (Mar 7, 2008)

I completely agree with you on this one. If a man or woman is married and it is not ok with their significant other for them to stay out all night, then they shouldn't. Some guys have a hard time being good husbands in front of their friends, some women have the same problem with their girl friends, and succumb to the peer pressure. 

Some examples: 
You always jump when your lady says? or He's your husband not your father! 

The truth is that one should respect ones spouses feelings and wishes above all others.

I've always tried to be mindful of my Wifes feelings and wishes, but only when she is of mine.


----------



## savannah (Apr 4, 2008)

Personally, that was really something I would react the very same way about. Being married means the responsibility of coming home is there regardless of what the event you are at. That responsibility to his family DOES NOT change.

Funny that 'some' husbands always bounces back the things they do wrong by telling us women that we are the bad ones for complaining, nagging, etc. I say, if it was not something bad or questionable to begin with, there would be no complaining and 'nagging' on our parts.right?

I would be really angry in this case, but I found that only brings MORE drama into the mix. So my advice would be to talk to your husband and really in a very calm way, be honest and tell him that you really did not feel good about him not coming home. tell him that, and let him think about it. since what's done is done, there is no real option here but to talk it out or fight... and I think you'ld rather him realize it was wrong of him to do that, that have a week long arguement... so stay calm... and just talk it out.... sometimes they just don't realize the extent of what they do... remember MANY things that seem major to women, are not so major for men... I'm sure it was an innocent case of the excited hubby to be with friends... and thats so normal with married men.... 

So don't worry. Just make sure you tell him how you felt. He will sit and realize it and see where you are coming from. I' m sure if YOU were the one who stayed out... it wouldn't be acceptable to give HIM his same excuse, right?


----------



## Immortalone (Mar 5, 2008)

I coud almost picture this party when you called and his friend were around. Oh the whipped man has to run home to mommy and so forth. He stood his ground to prove to his friends that he is a man in charge and can't be told what to do. Does it make him right? Nope not at all. What is does do is make him human and worst yet a human male. LOL, yep this is comeing from a man but I have seen this happen before and have been guilty of standing up when I should not have. 

Us men and our egos do get us in trouble alot. One day we will out grow it but don't hold your breath. I do agree with Savannah. Sit him down and start by telling him you don't want an answer or anything. All you want is for him to hear how this made you feel. Tell him in a short and calm voice. Don't drag it out or you will lose his attention. Once you do that then let it go. That is going to be the hard part for you. 

Just remember, He was standing his ground to save face with his friend. That does not mean he loves you or your kids less, just means he is a man that made a bad choice.


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Ok if I was your husband I would have been PISSED!!! He is at his friends birthday party having a good time....Playing cards and drinking.

Nothing more embarrassing then having your wife call you constantly DEMANDING you come home, his friends must have been ripping on him....BIG TIME.

SO you would rather him drive home to you.....What if he was Drunk and Crashed his car and died? Would have it been worth it?

My wife never calls me when I am at my neighbors house playing cards late at night.

I even ahd a rule with my parents as a teen, if I was drinking either I called for a ride or slept there for the night.

I am sure you PO your hubby, I would have been, just be glad he slept on his buddies couch instead of doing something stupid, like driving drunk.


----------



## danigirl917 (Apr 7, 2008)

Ok GASoccerman... I see your point.. But the difference is when I was supposed to go out for a girls night out, he specifically told me, you are to come home tonight, married people do not sleep apart. So what makes it right for him and not for me? And also, there were about 15 single girls at this party. Do I feel comfortable with him sleeping on the same floor as them? NO! I also offered to go pick him up if he was too drunk and guess what.. he hung up on me and told me to go f**k myself. What does that prove?


----------



## TheHubby (Mar 20, 2008)

In able to avoid all of this mess, I usuallu just show up at home before I am expected to. It is just not worth hearing her call me a million times & me ending up having to front her in front of my friends.


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Well you did not disclose that, I guess the difference between me and my wife and you both is we Trust each other. 

How longg have you been married? how old are you guys? My wife and I have been together 18 years, married 11 dated 7 years. Now, we went to College in different states, I went to School in Montclair, NJ she went to school in Pittsburgh, PA. So we are talking a long distance relationship for 7 years!

We had no choice but to trust each other, I had friends flipping out, saying man she is probably cheating on you....and I would simply say, well we are not married, I am not her keeper, if she wants to go off with someone else then so be it, But I learned to trust her and I could not worry about the "what if's in life, I worry about the What is" Did she fool around on me?? who knows...been married 11 years, it's a moot point, we have three children together and a very strong marriage because we trust each other.

Trust is a very powerful thing, jealousy can be cruel. My wife can go out with the girls if she wants to and flirt and dance with guys....I trust her to do the right thing, and I had never had to worry, she rarely goes out anymore, she rather go with me.

I guess you both have some issues to work out, bith seem very jealous and not trusting with each other, you need to strengthen that.

My wife get's hit on all the time, I take it as a compliment, so does she when women respond to my flirtatious behavior.

You just have to live with what you are comfortable I guess...best of luck to you, but I couldn't live that way, nor could my wife.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

danigirl917 said:


> It was my husband's friends birthday Saturday night and we were invited to a party at his house. I wasn't able to attend because we couldn't find a babysitter in time. I told my husband to go to the party, but just don't come home late. He told me he would be home by 12. At 11:45 I had called him and he said he would be home by 12:45. I told him that was fine. At 1:30, he still wasn't home so I called again. He said he was playing cards and he would be home in an hour. Needless to say, he wasn't home at 1:30. At 2:30 I called again and he didn't answer the phone. I called 15 times!!!! Finally he answered and said I'm not coming home. I told him he better come home to his wife and daughter, but all he could say is I was a terrible wife for giving him a hard time about handing out with his friends. So he didn't come home until Sunday morning and slept all day. He says I am overreacting about this whole incident. But I believe if you have a family, you belong at home with them and not sleeping at a house with your friends and random girls. Am I wrong???


Respect ~ Does he have any for his wife to let her worry as such.

The Lies ~ How many times did he tell you he would be home then not meet his goal and have you worried?

Trust ~ How much of that is blown when you can't count on his word (see above)?

No he is in the wrong.

draconis


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Drac I can see your point....

But while on Vacation, me and my brother-in-law plus nephew would drive over to Atlantic City (we vacation down the Jerrsey shore)

Anyway....

His wife (my sister-in-law) would call him constantly on his cell phone while we were at the casino...where are you? what are you doing?? constantly worrying. 

My wife, Her sister.....did not call me once, nor did I call her.

We got home at 5AM...his wife was awake waiting for him....My wife was sleeping.

The sad part is, that day, since the "boys went to the casino" we told the ladies they could go for the day, only fair right? My wife and Nieces went plus my sisters, His wife stayed home with us.....She was worried about who would feed the kids, who will do this? who will do that??? She coould just not relax and enjoy vacation.

Some people that is just their nature to worry about the "what if's"

Trust is built up over time and through a strong bond.

All I am saying, it is hard to enjoy yourself at a party if your wife/Girlfriend? boyfriend/Husband......Keeps calling you asking where you are, matter of fact it's embarrassing to me.

But hey, each to their own I suppose, I jsut do not see everything as right or wrong, there are alot of variables to life.

You could be gone tomorrow for what ever reason. I've seen it to many times.

Life is to short to worry about everything.


----------



## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

any update here??


----------

