# We need help...



## Lyaila (Jun 22, 2013)

So my boyfriend and I have MANY issues; but, we still love each other to death. We are figuring out how to communicate with one another well. There are so many things that we don't agree upon and we're both very stubborn. We feel like having a forum to post each of our sides of how we are feeling and what is going on may be helpful. Sometimes getting an outside opinion on how ridiculous one is being is better than accepting it from your significant other. We really want honest and friendly advice. We plan on just postings our thoughts on this one forum and hopefully receiving feedback. We both have our own accounts. I did not see this against any rules; but, if we are breaking any taboos by us both posting on one forum please let us know.

Thank you in advance for any advice and help you can/will provide.

Please, also, do not say things along the lines of "you should not be together" that is not productive to our cause. We will both know when to stop beating a dead horse. We are rational people. Neither of us feel that that time is now, thank you.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

you may be disappointed with the responses you receive. First you request outside views and comments on the problems the two of you plan to share but then you begin to limit the nature of those responses. That makes one wonder if you want honest advice or only the advice you want to hear. People will be honest with you on the forum but your post says to me you may not be ready for that.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Yeah, be careful what you wish for.

The best communication comes from a sense of loving another to the point you place them above yourself- not in having message board schmucks weighing in on who's right and who's wrong.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

You aren't breaking any taboos.

What are your disagreements over?


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

Ok. I'll bite. Next. ..............
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## torani (May 6, 2013)

Lyaila said:


> So my boyfriend and I have MANY issues; but, we still love each other to death. We are figuring out how to communicate with one another well. There are so many things that we don't agree upon and we're both very stubborn. We feel like having a forum to post each of our sides of how we are feeling and what is going on may be helpful. Sometimes getting an outside opinion on how ridiculous one is being is better than accepting it from your significant other. We really want honest and friendly advice. We plan on just postings our thoughts on this one forum and hopefully receiving feedback. We both have our own accounts. I did not see this against any rules; but, if we are breaking any taboos by us both posting on one forum please let us know.
> 
> Thank you in advance for any advice and help you can/will provide.
> 
> Please, also, do not say things along the lines of "you should not be together" that is not productive to our cause. We will both know when to stop beating a dead horse. We are rational people. Neither of us feel that that time is now, thank you.


Ok, I get why you don't want people to give the advice that the two of you should not be together. If my man were also on here sharing his point of view of our issues and folks suggested he leave me, that would be hurtful and scary to me.... Are you afraid of that? I would be.. 

but that said, I agree with others.. That may be the advice he and you get based on what you post. If you tell us he beats you up then folks are not going to tell you to stay in that abuse. I am guessing its not that bad and that's not your issue but hopefully you get my point on why folks might advise ending the relationship. 

Give us a chance, try to keep an open mind, I have found this is a very great place to talk to others and I really think the two of you will get value from other peoples insight. 

Why don't you go ahead and share some of the issues you are struggling with. It could be that there are some simple ways to resolve them and advice from others on here who have been through similar experiences could potentially help the two of you. 

Share away, we are here for you!


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Maneo said:


> you may be disappointed with the responses you receive. First you request outside views and comments on the problems the two of you plan to share but then you begin to limit the nature of those responses. That makes one wonder if you want honest advice or only the advice you want to hear. People will be honest with you on the forum but your post says to me you may not be ready for that.


What a way to welcome a new member. Guess it was no point in waiting to see what she had to say first. If both of them were planning to post here that shows they were vested in trying to make the relationship work. Geez...


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

OK so what are your problems and issues?

BTW, if your boyfriend feels the same way, then you're actually off to a good start.

Every relationship has problems, because people in general are emotional train wrecks. The biggest hurdle in a relationship is dealing with those issues in a calm, rational way, and learning how to work together to overcome them. Give and Take.

Most people don't have the self-realization to understand this and just blame the other person for everything. If two people can admit their sh*t, they're much more likely to deal with conflict in an appropriate manner.


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## Lyaila (Jun 22, 2013)

COguy said:


> BTW, if your boyfriend feels the same way, then you're actually off to a good start.


He and I actually wrote that part together. 

We understand that it is going to be hard and that it may not be what we want to hear. We just really don't want to open up and have people be rude about what they say. 

We are about to go on a run, meant to post our thoughts last night; but, we fell asleep :sleeping: after our run we are going to post our thoughts on an issue. 

Building trust is probably our number one problem right now, so we will post on that after our run.


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## Hazzius (Jun 22, 2013)

Hello everyone. Lyaila's boyfriend here. 

We both understand that trust is a vital part of the relationship, and I know that I've done some things that break her trust in me. I'm not going to sit here and write that I've done nothing wrong in the relationship, because I most certainly have. 

The problem that I'm having is that she thinks everything that I do wrong goes towards a bigger picture, whereas I think of situations just like they are... situations. I also think she blows things way out of proportion, which I'll explain.

If I say I'm going to do something during the day, say do the dishes, and I end up not being able to do it or I just forget, (I'm very forgetful) she thinks that is a lie. She thinks that I lied to her. I don't see it like that. I see it as I forgot, or I just didn't do it because of 'x'.

Because of this difference, we both argue till we're blue in the face or it's 2 am. She's yelling at me that I'm a liar, and I'm yelling back because I disagree that it was a lie.

Some things that annoy me is that she wants to look through my phone, going through my conversations with people and getting mad over something meant to be taken as a joke like an inside joke, or a certain context that is missed by the time she sees it. She also goes through my computer and skype messages and email. Invading my privacy is one of if not my biggest pet peeve. 
I feel no matter what, everyone is entitled to some privacy. I don't look through her things, even when she offers, because I'm not that type of person. If I try to argue that I don't want her to look through my things, it's obviously because "I'm trying to hide something" when really I just like my privacy. I have never cheated on her, emotionally or physically, so I feel like this sort of invasion of my privacy isn't warranted.

I'll add more replies later. Thank you for your guys' help, we both really appreciate it.


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## Lyaila (Jun 22, 2013)

For me it is a bigger picture. He breaks promises and lies about other things. My days are very busy, so when he's off and I ask him to do the dishes and he tells me he will and then doesn't, it is a lie. He tells me he'll do one thing...then does another = lie. Also, he can lie about that he'll lie about other things. I am counting on him to get that done and it's very frustrating when I come home and plan to make dinner and can't because he did not do what was asked. 

We were broken up for about nine months. He lied to me and broke serious promises to me in that time. I do not trust him at all. He has three girl best friends....I don't trust him with them...the last girl friend he had, he had sex with after we broke up. 

His ex girlfriend is tied to his family who lives in Cali. She called when we first got together, Dec 2011, trying to keep him as a friend. It was inappropriate. Then his family told him he had to be civil to her. So while we were together they would talk. I did not like it. She still wanted him and said so once. But I dealt with it because I trusted him. This January him and I were not together but he was going to Cali to see his family. I asked him to promise me not to have sex with her, he did. But then he turned around and told her that and laughed at me with her, betraying me and my trust.

He promised me he wouldn't talk to my sister if him and I weren't talking. He has been inappropriate with her because he does not understand boundaries. I caught them talking.

Even when he was trying to prove to me that he was committed to me after telling me he never wanted to talk to me again, he was inappropriate. 

While we were friends there was this girl that he worked with that he told me he wanted to date. While he was proving to me that he wanted me, he helped her clean her car. Took pictures of her (which he still doesn't do with me) and told her she was that best looking lot attendant other than himself. INAPPROPRIATE. 

So, no. I don't trust him. Before we were really committed to one another, I told him going through his things was a must or else I was not going to be with him, he agreed.

After that conversation, he handed me his phone. I chose NOT to go through it out of respect. I only started going through it after he lost more trust. I'm glad(ish) that I have. Every single time with the exception of once I have found discrepancies that were conversations from when we were trying (I told him I would not look at conversations older than that, because it's not fair for me to hold something against him that he did while we weren't together. The exception to that, I looked at the conversations with my sister)

With his cousin, he asked if B was F-ing me again. B said yes. Not that he loved me and was with me, just f-ing me. Rude.

One of his girls is trying to break up with her boyfriend he won't let her. B said "Oh, is he pulling a Lyaila?" using me as an action, rude.

I found out about the picture thing with that girl at work because of it.

Found out he told my sister they should go on a date to hurt me and make me mad.

He never told his cousin, best friend, we were together. But when he had sex with three different girls three nights in a row this fall, he was sure to tell him that. So, I feel like I don't matter. 

He told me that he would delete his ex, her name is Brittney(we fight about her alot so you'll see it more) from facebook. Three days later hadn't and I asked why. He said he was not sure if he was going to or not...so why did you tell me you would?

He's also broken other promises, tons of them. I don't trust him to actually be going to work. Let alone do anything else. At the beginning of the relationship, this time around, I tried for us to be equal and for him to make good choices on his own and only three times has he done that. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and he ruined it. Now I'm too controlling, but I don't think it's fair for me to rewind and give him that back with no repercussions for the trust that he's lost. But, he is too frustrated and mad at me to care now. So I don't know what to do...I want him to make proper choices on his own, but he showed me he wouldn't. But now he's like rebelling. I don't know how to get through.

Neither of us know of like "exercises" to build trust, I do know he NEEDS to stop destroying it. Right now I have NO trust for him, and every little thing counts. I've explained to him that once I can trust him again it won't be so bad. I think he understands, babe correct me if you don't. 

Right now is just so freaking hard. :'(

We should explain that when we're not fighting we're FANTASTIC, like movie couple. We're still very passionate about one another and love spending time together...we just don't know how to work through our differences.

Thank you guys for reading all this


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

How old are the two of you?

Also, what type of relationship do you both see? You want to remain together for now, no talk of the future or where the relationship is headed?

Or do you see these as an LTR, with possible marriage in your fuure?

I'm asking because frankly it seems like you (boyfriend) are somewhat holding on to other possibiities down the line and that it wouldn't take much for you to slip across the line and cheat on her. You just don't seem committed in any way.

Girlfriend, I don't see what you described as lying. Maybe at the time he actually planned to do as he said, but things got in the way. It's not an excuse for the fact that he is not a promise keeper, however. But the whole thing seems to have a nagging and nitpicking aspect on your part. After a point, if you know you boyfriend does not do dishes, just stop asking. Ask him to help out with some other task.


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## Lyaila (Jun 22, 2013)

LTR, talking about marriage and futures, wanting to be with one another.

It's never productive things that get in the way though, and it's not always relative to chores. It's usually just laziness or he plays a game all day. It's just when I'm working all day and I ask for one or two things to be done when I come home I expect them to be done so that I can do the other things that I had planned. It's not just dishes or other tasks. It can also be hey I know we've been needing some time together. Let's just watch a movie and do that at this time and then prioritizing something else. If you tell me something is going to happen I feel like that should happen or you should at least talk to me and say, hey this didn't happen because this and that. Not wait for me to come home and say, hey why didn't this happen.

I know it seems like nagging, and I try not to. But I feel like if I don't 1) the right decision will not be made and 2) things won't get done. And I feel that way because that's how it is. based off of fact and what's been happening, not assumption.


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## Hazzius (Jun 22, 2013)

I see a LTR, I have from the beginning. To respond with what Lyaila was saying:

1. The friend in qestion that I slept with, is no longer in contact with me. And as she said, it happened while I was broken up with her.
2. I agree that it was wrong of me to tell my ex what I promised Lyaila, but to me it was ridiculous because my ex lives with her boyfriend, and we didn't even talk or see each other in person. Again, this happened while we were broken up.
3. The talking to the sister thing, yes I broke that promise multiple times, but the inappropriateness was joking. Every single instance was meant to be a joke. 
4. The friend at work - Yes I wanted to ask her on a date, but I never did. I helped her wash her car because she said she had never washed a car in her life, and wanted me to take pictures of it and send them to her afterwards. "The best looking lot attendant" was said after she said she was hideous, and 95% of lot attendants are males. Lyaila found out I said this right after she was going to stay the night at another guy's house, so I didn't think this one was so bad.
5. Cousin did not ask if I was F-ing her again. He asked if I was sleeping with her again. I see a difference in this terminology. We also still were not dating at this point.
6. The using her as an action thing was rude, and I have apologized for that time and time again.
7. Dating the sister thing was a joke. Her and I have a very good strictly platonic relationship, and has never gone farther than that and never will.
8. I'll admit this one was bad. My cousin and her don't get along too well, and so I was trying to avoid having an argument with him. Backfired as you can see.
9. The reason I wasn't sure if I wanted to is because of the ties to my family. They all live in California and I wanted to make sure I wouldn't make enemies if I went down there to visit. We don't communicate at all, I was just trying to play nice so I could have a nice trip down there, which I don't get to do all that often because of financial issues.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

How old are the two of you and how long have you been together?

Looking at your posts so far, I see some major deal-breaking type issues, being lumped together with stuff that is regular Men are from Mars Women are from Venus stuff.

For example, saying you're going to do the dishes and then not doing them, is a standard husband wife disagreement. That shouldn't be destroying trust. But lying about stuff, especially relationship stuff, is a major deal breaker. YELLING is a major issue, though it's common so it's not that weird, but before marriage and kids, you guys should be having civil discourses not screaming matches.

The biggest issue I see is the privacy issue. You're both on the hook on that one.

A) Why are you "snooping" without his permission? What has he done to cause this? You are either in a committed, open, transparent relationship or you are not. If he does not want you going through his stuff, then you need to weigh whether or not that is a deal breaker for you. What you are doing is setting yourself up for a life of underground snooping, where you are always distrusting him but never getting fulfilled, you're going to be perma-stressed.

Let me clarify that in your situation I would not tolerate that, and it would be a deal breaker for reasons I will explain below.

B) Hazzius, sorry bud, you're just wrong. Go read the Coping With Infidelity forum and after a few threads you still think it's ok to: have women best friends, text them privately, and keep your email and skype and FB private, then I will come over and do the dishes for you.

A lot of us are here on this forum because of infidelity. Almost all of it starts the way that I just mentioned. Now the trust could be a deal breaker because you said you haven't cheated, so you have to look at why she is so obsessed with it. If you honestly don't think you've given her a reason, then you need to weigh that on continuing the relationship. However, I will say that being overly defensive and texting females privately, would definitely have me wanting to snoop if you were my BF.


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## Lyaila (Jun 22, 2013)

Hazzius said:


> I see a LTR, I have from the beginning. To respond with what Lyaila was saying:
> 
> 1. The friend in qestion that I slept with, is no longer in contact with me. And as she said, it happened while I was broken up with her.
> 2. I agree that it was wrong of me to tell my ex what I promised Lyaila, but to me it was ridiculous because my ex lives with her boyfriend, and we didn't even talk or see each other in person. Again, this happened while we were broken up.
> ...


1.My intuition with her was still right. You wanted her... I was okay with you being friend's with her I have no way of knowing that nothing else happened. 
2. You did talk, I explained how much it meant to you and you laughed at me and disrespected me.
3. This is where he doesn't know what is and is not appropriate...He loves to make people laugh, and I love and appreciate that. But, there are lines and boundaries that should not be crossed. He does not think so. If something would be funny to him and someone else it does not matter how other people feel.
4. During this time, I was dating other people. He knew that. I told him I was not going to give him my everything until I knew he was committed to me. I feel that telling a girl he wanted to date that she looks good is showing that you're not fully committed. Maybe it was unfair for me to ask him to commit fully before I did, even though I was committed to him and trying to make it work for nine months; however, he did AGREE to it. 
5. We were committed to each other, however. But he did not care to specify to cousin that it was anything more than sleeping with me. Even two weeks after we were together cousin did not know....
7. Again with being inappropriate. My sister and I stopped talking for an entire month after he and I broke up because there were inappropriate things being said. Actions speak louder than words. When were all together he sits by her, jokes with her, and they make fun of me. Fortunately this is one thing he actually has gotten better about, and I appreciate that and told him the other day. However I am not 100% comfortable with them.
9. You two did communicate, she called you just this last Sunday. Point is, you told me you would, not that you would think about it. Then you didn't leading me to believe that there is/was something else going on. This is the telling me one thing and doing another equals a lie.

We're going to stop responding now and see what opinions you guys have.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Reading Hazzius' response, I'm going to call it like I see it, feel free to disagree.

Seems like he is less interested in the relationship than you are Lyaila. Doesn't sound like you are being cherished, sounds like you are together out of convenience or because he doesn't have the gonads to break up with you. Also doesn't sound like his friends respect you. What would you say that dynamic is? There's only so long a guy can have friends that don't like his GF before he either finds new friends or a new GF.

Hazzius, why are you in this relationship? Everything I see on your list shows that you don't view your GF as a prized possession, but just as something that is. That's fine, but you need to be honest about it, because she probably has different expectations.


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## Lyaila (Jun 22, 2013)

COguy said:


> How old are the two of you and how long have you been together?
> 
> Looking at your posts so far, I see some major deal-breaking type issues, being lumped together with stuff that is regular Men are from Mars Women are from Venus stuff.
> 
> ...


We're avoiding the age question. I hate people saying things relative to age that really are not. Love is love, we are both mature adults with careers living together. 

Dec 2011 we were together until Aug 2012, Back together May 2013.

A) I have not done it without his permission, I always ask first. I know that it means a lot to him to let me look, so I always ask first and like I said even after I had permission I didn't do it until there was more lying and trust breaking, at that point I felt I had to.

The trust is the biggest thing I can not even account all of the lies. Most of them happened while we were broken up. Although there were a good amount of them while we were together before. I feel like I can not trust him to do anything. I can't count on him. I can't trust that if/when he goes out he's not doing other things. 

His dad called the other day. I didn't believe it was his dad 

I HATE not being able to trust him and feeling that I need to be controlling.

I want us to be equals.

Him coming back to me was his start over. There was not supposed to be any more lies. He has since lied to me and made me not trust him at all. We started off being equals and talking. Now my patience and tolerance for the stuff happening every day is so low, everything irritates me and if I am upset about something he gets angry. Then we yell.


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## Lyaila (Jun 22, 2013)

COguy said:


> Reading Hazzius' response, I'm going to call it like I see it, feel free to disagree.
> 
> Seems like he is less interested in the relationship than you are Lyaila. Doesn't sound like you are being cherished, sounds like you are together out of convenience or because he doesn't have the gonads to break up with you. Also doesn't sound like his friends respect you. What would you say that dynamic is? There's only so long a guy can have friends that don't like his GF before he either finds new friends or a new GF.
> 
> Hazzius, why are you in this relationship? Everything I see on your list shows that you don't view your GF as a prized possession, but just as something that is. That's fine, but you need to be honest about it, because she probably has different expectations.


This is exactly how I feel, like he takes me for granted. 

It wasn't that way when we first got back together, but since I'm more controlling because of the trust issues he rebels. He can turn off his feelings, so he does. Then doesn't care to fix it because it's not his idea. In the beginning he did okay with willingness, but then lost trust, I tighten reins, he rebels, and it goes down hill. I don't feel like I should loosen the reins until he earns it though. Because I feel like if I do then there is no punishment for him lying to me...

His friends like me. Even when we were broken up they wanted him to get back together with me. The only one who doesn't is his cousin, but he lives in Cali and is insignificant other than playing games together a couple nights a week.

His cousin doesn't like me because he had a Vacation planned to come up here a month after we originally got together. That same weekend I had to move out of my house. B did not tell him that his vacation was going to be spent moving till he got there...hence resentment.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I notice neither of you have said how old you are even though you were asked twice (unless I missed it, sorry). The thing is, and no offense, but some of the incidnets that are causing trouble for you seem so childish, especially for people who consider themselves in a committed relationship. For example, him joking at your expense; that's something high school kids do to each other. If you (Haz) know she doesn't like it and it makes her uncomfortable, why continue?

Also the privacy issue, just as a matter of record, those days are fast disappearing. We can't even expect privacy from our governments these days. If you have nothing to hide, why is it an issue anyway? Open and accessible is so much freer and easier between each other. 

Haz, as the previous poster said, your actions are not the actions of someone who loves and cherishes his SO and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. I'm sorry but you just don't seem to consider her in your actions.

Laiyla, it does appear you nag too much. That is not going to make for a happy home. There are going to be some things you have accept. For example I'm in the midst of trying to decide if I'm just going to give up on my husband not calling, only texting when he's away on business, even though I think it's inconsiderate. But if he's not going to change it (and doesn't seem like he is), that is not going to be a dealbreaker for me. I'm just going to have to live with it See? Figure out the things that are dealbreakers and decide what you are going to do if they don't change. And remember, it's not what he SAYS he will change but what he actually changes. Same for you.

Lastly, though, I think its so good that you both want to put your relationship to scrutiny and testing. Maybe not the best venue for it, but at least you trying.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

I asked how old you were because the way you discuss eachother makes you both appear very young (<25). While you may think that doesn't matter, every person on this planet that is over 30 will tell you how wrong you are, don't disagree with so many people.

Snooping is not a good long-term relationship strategy. Trust me, I've learned the hard way. If you don't have enough trust to HAVE to be snooping all the time, you're in a bad relationship.

Given the fact you've been together for less than a year ( 9 months on, then 2 months on), I am going to give you relationship advice based on that. You should be honeymooning right now. You're posts are like two people that have been married for 6-7 years. These issues get worse over time, not better, imagine where the both of you will be in a decade.

You don't trust him, he doesn't respect you, and you guys yell at eachother all the time. It does not take a genius to give you both good solid advice. It may seem like a bad idea to YOU because you are IN the relationship and can't examine it without bias.

You guys should break up. Not because you're bad people, but because you have different expectations and you aren't good for eachother. With a few years of life experience you'll realize it was for the best and then be thankful you didn't spend anymore time in a relationship that was going nowhere.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

We don't need you to tell us how old you are because it's obvious from your posts you are both in your early 20s, at the very most. 

I agree with COguy. What I'm seeing is a woman who wants this relationship much more than the man does and who also thinks she is basically right about most things, hence the nagging and arguing about doing dishes. Seriously, if you can't let small stuff like that go, you're doomed. And I see a man who wants to please everyone, keep everyone happy and look good to his friends and family, and is totally unwilling to put the needs of his girlfriend ahead of any of that.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Maturity means not refusing to answer questions on a website you have specifically come to in order to ask advice. If you have that little respect for us then why should we return respect to you?

*Hazzius* cannot be trusted and minimizes this part of his character. It isn't worth arguing over whether a broken promise is a lie. It is not being true to your word, and excusing that with vague "something came up" rationalizations simply increases the severity of the original act. When we are in the wrong, we acknowledge so and apologize. 

*Lyaila*, trying to control a person like this is a futile effort and it is a sign of low self-respect that you not only tolerate it, but tell other people we should not counsel you to do the right thing, which is leaving. 

You have a personality defect yourself, which is the inability to acknowledge someone for who they are and instead superimpose this idea about who you want them to be if only you could control them better. Give it up. Accept what he is and either love him for that or move on. 

about this:



> We should explain that when we're not fighting we're FANTASTIC, like movie couple


We see this all the time on this forum. "Golly, other than fighting so much, yelling, not being able to trust each other, all this resentment built up, incompatibility of temperment, disagreement about fundamental relationship issues, etc. we're _perfect_ for each other."

You aren't like a movie couple unless you mean a dysfunctional one in which intensity is mistaken for compatibility. Two people can have extremely intense passion and sex yet be a disaster as a couple in the long run.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

You two may consider yourselves mature but as others have pointed out, from what you have written it does not appear that way. Whether you are 35 or 13 you are acting like the latter. 

Try having a conversation when both of you are feeling calm and relaxed. Own your own feelings and agree not to assume or jump to conclusions or get either defensive or emotional. Try saying things like " when you say (or do) this I feel ..." And let each one finish the thought and then respond.


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Lyaila,sorry to say but will you ever be completely able
to trust him fully?

I would bet that you only had trust issues later on in the relationship after his repeated lying pattern.

You can never have a good relationship if one half lies and
always watching and wondering what there doing.

Long term actions speak louder than words.

Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear,but it sounds
like your already doubt half of what he tells you now.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Since you won't give your ages, I'll just say you both sound *really* young. The failure rate for young couples is huge. For good reason. It takes awhile to grow up and be able to make a relationship work. Some never do figure out how so age is no guarantee but being young makes it even more difficult.

Right now, he is too much of a people-pleaser. And you are too controlling. You both have a lot of work to do. Love, alone, is no guarantee. You can love each other to the moon and back and it's not going to ensure your relationship works.


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

I think you both could usefully calm down. But it is good you are prepared to invite advice from others. That is a hopeful sign.

You have had some valuable input from others here. Good luck.


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