# Death



## froggy7777

:surprise:

Anyone here that is afraid to Die? What are your fears?


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## kristin2349

I'm not afraid to die, but I am afraid of dying a prolonged and painful death. I just lost my very close friend to cancer she was 31 and leaves 3 young children behind. She died a very slow and painful death. I've got another friend who is in his 40's that is stage 4 bone and kidney cancer. It is such an evil disease.


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## SecondTime'Round

I'm with Kristin. I'm not afraid of death, but I am afraid of pain.


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## Runs like Dog

It's more a matter of leaving unfinished business.


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## tech-novelist

I don't fear death. Actually, the big problem I have with death is that I don't get to find out what happens in the world after I'm gone.

I wouldn't want to leave my wife behind without her knowing how to take care of all the financial stuff that I do for us, but I've spent a fair amount of time trying to ensure that she has all that information and knows how to do whatever would be required to keep everything in good shape.


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## froggy7777

technovelist; really like what you had to say. As a Christian I don't fear death but its about the same answer you had to say. Hate leaving all my grand kids too and of course my wife and son and daughter.


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## imtamnew

I had a situation last month where I felt I will die. A very horrible plane landing.
In between the shuddering noises and bouncing, all I felt was peace.
The insurance premium is paid.
I don't care if I die before this post is saved.


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## tech-novelist

im_tam said:


> I had a situation last month where I felt I will die. A very horrible plane landing.
> In between the shuddering noises and bouncing, all I felt was peace.
> The insurance premium is paid.
> I don't care if I die before this post is saved.


Well, don't keep us in suspense! Did you live long enough to save it? >


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## Ynot

How often does the fear of death keep us from living?


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## header

I was deathly afraid of death as a child, I couldn't grasp the concept that when you're dead it's all over.

Nowadays, I just roll with it and as others have said, hope that it's painless and fast when it happens.


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## Anon Pink

I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of how I might die. There are good deaths, bad deaths and horrible deaths. My father and sister had good deaths, he died suddenly yet not unexpectedly and she died from kidney cancer but was relatively active and healthy up until the last 8-12 weeks. My mother and brother had horrible deaths; the kind of deaths that make me form a suicide plan should I end up with a degenerative neurological disease like they had. I think a bad death is when there is no easing into death but instead a painful or protracted battle to hang on even when the body is clearly actively dying. 

Interestingly, to me at least, one of my BFF's is from a weekly mass attending Catholic family and both her father and brother were in the active dying stage for two months. Two months of bed ridden, hand holding, vigil sitting, any moment now hanging on as long as possible. Both of those deaths, though not unexpected, were extremely traumatic to her because holding your breath and bracing for the pain of eminent loss for two months is not easing into a death that could not be stopped.

My sister recently died and having been a huge Downton Abby fan, she lamented that she would not see the final season. I watch the show for her.

When it's my time, I would like to have some advance warning to ensure I've left instructions for how to clean the ceramic cook top, that no one seems to grasp.


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## header

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”


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## unbelievable

Not afraid of death. That's going to happen either way. Not really afraid of pain. That can be managed with drugs and without drugs if it's bad enough I'll go into shock. I am afraid of being a helpless burden on my loved ones. I'm afraid of Alzheimer's or dementia. A prolonged exit from this world which reduces me to something less than human bothers me.


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## lifeistooshort

technovelist said:


> I don't fear death. Actually, the big problem I have with death is that I don't get to find out what happens in the world after I'm gone.
> 
> I wouldn't want to leave my wife behind without her knowing how to take care of all the financial stuff that I do for us, but I've spent a fair amount of time trying to ensure that she has all that information and knows how to do whatever would be required to keep everything in good shape.


My hb doesn't have that problem with me 

He knows I'll take care of myself just fine, but I will miss him terribly.

With an age difference like ours it's highly likely he'll go quite a while before me. 

But I guess you never know


I don't fear death, but I do fear it beforemy boys are out the door as functional adults. 

After that whatever I get is cake icing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jorgegene

For me, there is no constant. 

Sometimes I relfect on my own imminent death with some trepidation.

sometimes I have anxiety about when I wont be here and wont get to bond and watch the nieces and nephews and other loved ones grow into middle age and older.

I fear the day if and when my wife goes before me. The thought of living without her does cause me sorrow.

a few times, ive faced some danger and there have been times when I could say
'Lord if you take me today, let it be your will' with sincereity and peace.

I hope when my time really comes I can face it like that.


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## Ynot

I don't fear death either, but as has been mentioned I do NOT want to be a burden on anyone when it happens. Pull the damn plug and let me go! And after I am dead I could not care any less if they fed me to the dogs. Although my wish is to be cremated and flushed down the toilet to be reunited with the best part of me.


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## jorgegene

Something I read years ago as a kid has stuck with me all these years.

it was a boy scout book and in it had a short story about some explorers in the late 1890s in labrador who got delayed and caught in the dead of winter. It was really a story about how important it is to be able to make a fire, anywhere, any time, even in a blizzard. That was the only thing that kept them alive for weeks. They were starving and almost delerious and near death. Out of desperation, they had to boil water and make a broth with their moccasins just to stay alive. But what stuck with me was something he said. He said that they were sure they were going to die, it was just a matter of when. They didnt want to die; their will to live was stiill there. But he said they had a peace about it and were not scared. He said he is convinced that in the moment of imminent death, the almighty robs us of our fears and allows us to pass into the next world with peace in our hearts.

dont know that it's true, but something I ponder every now.


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## tech-novelist

header said:


> “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”


I heard it was a bus. >


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## tech-novelist

Anon Pink said:


> When it's my time, I would like to have some advance warning to ensure I've left instructions for how to clean the ceramic cook top, that no one seems to grasp.


Then write them down now and make someone follow them so you can see that they know how to do it.

That's what I do with my instructions for my wife on how to access all our financial stuff.

(Write down anything in the latter category too, of course, if you haven't already.)


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## tech-novelist

lifeistooshort said:


> My hb doesn't have that problem with me
> 
> He knows I'll take care of myself just fine, but I will miss him terribly.
> 
> With an age difference like ours it's highly likely he'll go quite a while before me.
> 
> But I guess you never know


No, you never do. Which is good in the sense that it makes life insurance possible, but otherwise not so good.

An example of "never knowing" is what happened to the first supervisor I had at my first job as an actuarial student, which I started in 1969. I came back a few years later as a consultant and he was very ill. He died of pineal gland cancer fairly soon thereafter. I doubt he could have been much more than 40. Is it ironic that an actuary should die of such an incredibly rare disease?


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## lifeistooshort

technovelist said:


> No, you never do. Which is good in the sense that it makes life insurance possible, but otherwise not so good.
> 
> An example of "never knowing" is what happened to the first supervisor I had at my first job as an actuarial student, which I started in 1969. I came back a few years later as a consultant and he was very ill. He died of pineal gland cancer fairly soon thereafter. I doubt he could have been much more than 40. Is it ironic that an actuary should die of such an incredibly rare disease?


Right? 

My hb knows a guy who used to be a senior VP at his old insurance company. He was in his early 60's and had a wife in her mid 40's.

They had been together a long time and had grown children. ... everyone who knew him knew he was married and adored her.
She had a sudden aneurysm on the floor of their condo.

I'm sure he never imagined he'd bury her. 

I met him right after she'd passed and I knew he'd be remarried as soon as he wanted. He was good looking, in great shape, had a crap load of money, lived in Sawgrass (assuming you're familiar with that) and was an interesting guy to know. 

He eventually remarried. 

I've heard widowers that had happy marriages remarry the fastest because they want to have that again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tech-novelist

lifeistooshort said:


> Right?
> 
> My hb knows a guy who used to be a senior VP at his old insurance company. He was in his early 60's and had a wife in her mid 40's.
> 
> They had been together a long time and had grown children. ... everyone who knew him knew he was married and adored her.
> She had a sudden aneurysm on the floor of their condo.
> 
> I'm sure he never imagined he'd bury her.
> 
> I met him right after she'd passed and I knew he'd be remarried as soon as he wanted. He was good looking, in great shape, had a crap load of money, lived in Sawgrass (assuming you're familiar with that) and was an interesting guy to know.
> 
> He eventually remarried.
> 
> I've heard widowers that had happy marriages remarry the fastest because they want to have that again.


Makes sense.

(I've never heard of Sawgrass, though. What/where is it?)


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## jorgegene

technovelist said:


> Then write them down now and make someone follow them so you can see that they know how to do it.
> 
> That's what I do with my instructions for my wife on how to access all our financial stuff.
> 
> (Write down anything in the latter category too, of course, if you haven't already.)


Yeh, my mom wont let me clean the ceramic stovetop either.


PHP:




'You need to do it special way' she says. When I ask her how to do it, she says;
'Never mind, I know how its done, I'll do it myself'.


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## lifeistooshort

technovelist said:


> Makes sense.
> 
> (I've never heard of Sawgrass, though. What/where is it?)


TPC sawgrass, ponde Vedra florida.

The player's championship.

Loads of money. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Max.HeadRoom

I can have very bad Laryngo spasms; where I can inhale but not exhale. Most last about 60-90 seconds but I have passed out from them a few times. Doc assures me that I will always start breathing again. They happen every few weeks.

It feels like dying every time. The only thing I can do is to try to calm down my mind.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laryngospasm

So no I’m not afraid death I just want to go out alert not drugged in to a stupor. 

Here is a joke I tell about death:

Grandpa lived to be 94 and he smoked and drank every day until he was hit by a bus. We think he was drunk chasing his lighter.


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## tech-novelist

Max.HeadRoom said:


> I can have very bad Laryngo spasms; where I can inhale but not exhale. Most last about 60-90 seconds but I have passed out from them a few times. Doc assures me that I will always start breathing again. They happen every few weeks.
> 
> It feels like dying every time. The only thing I can do is to try to calm down my mind.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laryngospasm
> 
> So no I’m not afraid death I just want to go out alert not drugged in to a stupor.
> 
> Here is a joke I tell about death:
> 
> Grandpa lived to be 94 and he smoked and drank every day until he was hit by a bus. We think he was drunk chasing his lighter.


Ouch, that sounds terrible. Sorry to hear that you have such an uncomfortable situation to deal with.


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## Anon Pink

technovelist said:


> Then write them down now and make someone follow them so you can see that they know how to do it.
> 
> That's what I do with my instructions for my wife on how to access all our financial stuff.
> 
> (Write down anything in the latter category too, of course, if you haven't already.)


Having spent 20 years as the pool boy desperately trying to get anyone else to take over that job it is futile to expect anyone else to have the sense of ownership, thus stake in how a thing should be done properly. Being well acquainted with planned helplessness, my husband has the same complaint regarding my inability to manage the finances.


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## giddiot

I have decided that when I get to a point of realizing that I will end up in the nursing home like my father I am going to drive myself to an isolated national forest in the winter, bring a bottle of Jack Daniels and drink till I pass out. One way or another that would do it, the cold, the booze or the wolves will take care of it. And if that don't work I will OD on my insulin to speed things along. I will never go into a nursing home.


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## tech-novelist

Anon Pink said:


> Having spent 20 years as the pool boy desperately trying to get anyone else to take over that job it is futile to expect anyone else to have the sense of ownership, thus stake in how a thing should be done properly. Being well acquainted with planned helplessness, my husband has the same complaint regarding my inability to manage the finances.


So you are unable to manage the finances? Then your finances are too complicated and should be simplified. Otherwise what will happen to you if your husband dies or disappears somehow?


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## Anon Pink

technovelist said:


> So you are unable to manage the finances? Then your finances are too complicated and should be simplified. Otherwise what will happen to you if your husband dies or disappears somehow?



I suppose once forced to do a thing one learns how to do a thing.


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## tech-novelist

Anon Pink said:


> I suppose once forced to do a thing one learns how to do a thing.


Ok, but the problem is that it is very expensive to make a mistake when learning how to manage finances, especially if there is a large amount of assets at stake.

And it's not really that hard to write instructions on how to deal with the assets in a marriage, and make sure that the other spouse understands and can follow them.

I would be very concerned about my wife's financial well-being if I were to die, if I hadn't done that.


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## Kitty08

froggy7777 said:


> :surprise:
> 
> Anyone here that is afraid to Die? What are your fears?


I know someday I will die. My biggest fear is to die without God's forgiveness and go to hell. 
My second fear is to leave my daughter without her mother and break my bubby's heart  

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk


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## Ikaika

froggy7777 said:


> :surprise:
> 
> 
> 
> Anyone here that is afraid to Die? What are your fears?




Leaving my oldest son who has a mental disability to fend for himself. I do
not think I will be missed otherwise. No other fears. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## CantePe

Not afraid to die. It's living that's harder.

My kids are set (life insurance policy that covers them completely).

Besides that I have two family members that are very well off that would step in to help and a rather successful husband with a thriving local business who would do just fine if I died.

I've made sure to leave them all with fantastic supports both financially and emotionally.

I've been around death most of my life. In fact, my earliest memory is the death of my grandmother (I was 3).

Death doesn't scare me at all.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## arbitrator

*Not afraid of death because I know Christ as my Lord and Savior! The pain factor of it really does not faze me either!

What does bother me would be the temporary separation from my family and friends, but also having both the intuition and the blessed assurances that I will come in due time, to see them all once again!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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