# My fiancee had a boob job and has changed



## darrenj1985 (Feb 23, 2011)

Hey,

My fiancee hit me with the news last year that she was booked in for a boob job, which i knew nothing about. She went ahead with the op and even though she had a tiny and toned body went up to a EE cup.

Well since then she has changed. She changed jobs and went into a sales role and began going out with work colleagues at the weekends wearing clothes that left little to the imagination. She met a group of girls and guys and started going out with them, with her choice of clothing even more sexier, and i heard from friends she had become very well known in the bars and clubs.

In December she told me she had met a guy who was an agent in the porn and glamour industries who thought she had a great look and wanted to represent her. 
Last month he paid for her to get an extensive portfolio of nude and topless shots done.

I hardly see her, and since the boob job and as the months have gone on is uber confident in her looks and her body and it appears she spends more time with her agent. I'm at my wits end.


----------



## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

If you don't want to be married to a porn star, then you should end the engagement and become happy that this did not occur during marriage.


----------



## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Fiance. That's an easy one. She's gone.

Tiny body w/ fake EE's? Must be nasty anyhow.


----------



## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

You don't go from having B's to EE's without a plan. Especially since she didn't even bother telling you she was getting a a b00b job. She knew EVERYTHING that she was going to do, you were just coming on for the ride. Its up to you if you want to stay on board, just prepare yourself to share her attention with others. And don't be surprised if she crossed the line into the adult industry once she gets a taste of that money that she can make. You might just want to bail early, because i want no parts of that life.


----------



## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

Rob774 said:


> You don't go from having B's to EE's without a plan. Especially since she didn't even bother telling you she was getting a a b00b job. She knew EVERYTHING that she was going to do, you were just coming on for the ride. Its up to you if you want to stay on board, just prepare yourself to share her attention with others. And don't be surprised if she crossed the line into the adult industry once she gets a taste of that money that she can make. You might just want to bail early, because i want no parts of that life.


I am sorry to hear that she had chosen a path that went a different direction than yours. I know first hand how hard it is to let go of the woman of your life.

Forgive me for being brutal here, but it sounds like that she is not worth holding on to. Save yourself the headache. Move on (sorry to put it bluntly). She has a taste of her new found life, and there is no way that things are going to return to what they use to be like. It is better that her changes happened now before you two finally tied the knot. Besides,I doubt that you want to be the second man in her life.


----------



## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

Since she did this behind your back and now is not spending much time with you...accept the fact that others have said that she would seem to care little of what you think. 

She may want to spare you feeling or perhaps to enjoy the comfort of you beng there but, want to do what she pleases. 

From what you have said count your blessings and move on. There is a fequent poster in the "sex in marraige" section that may shed some light on porn and glamour industries and the women in them. I am no expert in this area but, regardless she has sent clear messages from her actions that your opinion on things seem to mean little to her.


----------



## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

I have given this some thought over lunch. I don't know where the relationship status is at for the two of you, but my initial reaction is that you are providing her with the comfort and sensitivity that she wants, but at the same time, she is enjoying the attention that she is geting from her new carreer. She may have to come to a decision as to what life she wishes to have, or maybe you will have to decide for her.


----------



## 07yukon (Feb 23, 2011)

I am no expert here, but to me it sounds like she wasn't happy with her body. This is not wrong and most people have issues with something on their body whether big or small. She innocently (meaning you no harm) booked the boob job to boost her self-esteem. Now that she has the boob job things are changing because like you stated the crowd she is around. I think now she is being shallow and surrounding herself with superficial people. I think it is probably time for you to move on, but I don't think this is what she intitially wanted when she scheduled the surgery.


----------



## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

07yukon said:


> I am no expert here, but to me it sounds like she wasn't happy with her body.


Correct!



> booked the boob job to boost her self-esteem.


Correct!



> She innocently (meaning you no harm)


Incorrect!



> I think now she is being shallow and surrounding herself with *coke fiends who throw cash around like it's going out of style*.


Fixed.

I don't know what OP's life was like pre-boob job, b/c I can't tell whether he was out partying w/ his soon-to-be porn star soon-to-be-ex-fiancee or not, but I think if he was, he could have expected to have learned about this.

Let's get this straight, he didn't say "Hey I'm at home and my stripper girlfriend got her her lips done and her boobs AGAIN at the same time and now she's got bruising everywhere she didn't tell me she was going to go from D to EE, and she's talking about going from stripping and tricking to porn, I'm kinda worried if the surgical incisions get an infection".

Surprise boob job + career change to porn = "I have a ton of needs, wants and desires I don't want or don't know how to talk to you about and might not even know about myself"

Although on the positive side, she does seem very enthusiastic and open with him.

I'm not really sure how to deal w/ a porn star wife, but I imagine it involves a lot of drugs combined with an extreme amount of distance and about a dozen other women on rotation. And probably a lot of intellectual stimulation, you know, stuff she's not getting on the job.


----------



## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

The purpose of a woman getting a boob job is to find a new man.

B to EE is just a plan for total *****dom.

The woman you knew, never was. 

Bullet dodged my friend, bullet dodged.


----------



## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

Atholk said:


> The purpose of a woman getting a boob job is to find a new man.


It sounds strictly occupational in this case.

Seriously though, you have to wonder about the degree of 'impression management' this woman was capable of. Or naivety on OP's part. Or both.


----------



## Trooper (Oct 21, 2010)

I don't agree the purpose of a boob job is to get a new man. As someone who has been in a relationship over 16 years and had one I never did it to get a new man, and in fact have tried to keep our marriage together, but I digress. 

This particular woman does sound like she had a plan. I consulted with 5 different surgeons and they all told me that for my body size (size 2) I could not possibly go larger than a C cup (I am now a 32C). They said anything larger would run many risks and the only people who go larger than recommended are women in the adult entertainment business. That is exactly what was stated to me by every surgeon. So in going that large she had to have a discussion with the surgeon and more than likely even sign a waiver stating she knew of the risks form going that large (encapulation, rippling, etc.) so I have to think shd absolutely intended to have a career in the adult entertainment industry and the sole purpose of the boob job was to get her started in that industry. 

Any major decision like this should be discussed with your partner if you are that serious. It sounds like she doesn't care how you feel about it. I hate to say it, but I think she will keep you around just until she gets started in her new job and starts making some money and feels comfortable. She will then become fully immersed in the life it sounds like she intended all along. I think she just stays with you now for the security and familiarity. Consider yourself lucky to find this out before the wedding. I am sure you are very hurt and I do know how that feels, but I really think you are very lucky to find out now.


----------



## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Wow... This is bad. Don't know how or why, but it seems like you lost her. I would put at least my foot down on the porn issue. If she wants to go on with it, expect the engagement to be off.


----------



## darrenj1985 (Feb 23, 2011)

Thankyou to every1 that spent the time to reply. I spoke to her about why she went so big with the boob job when she had such a tiny body, and did she realise before the op that she would then have a certain look. She told me she wanted to get them big to give her the porn look. I then asked her to be honest with me about whether she would like to move into porn films, and she told me she would like to become a porn queen. It feels like a nightmare
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

You're engaged...but she ain't.
It seems that many women are not happy with their bodies, or they're even quite content with them. They have fulfilling lives with their spouses/partners, and everything's fine.
Then, they get some work done or decide to start getting into shape.
They now feel a little better about themselves, and they start showing signs of confidence that was never there before, they start dressing more attractively, and then the inevitable happens: other men start to notice.
They start complimenting her, hitting on her, saying things like "If only you were single..."
She begins to get addicted to the attention that she's getting now, she starts to look at her current situation, and begins to believe that "better" men are interested in her, so she looks back and starts to rewrite history.
She begins to think that she never truly loved her partner, but back then, she must have had esteem issues, that she was taken advantage of and manipulated to believe that she considered herself lucky that any man would have taken her, but now the game has changed.
She begins to ask herself "Why should I stay with this troll that I had to settle for? I'm a whole new woman now, there are much better men awaiting me-my true happiness comes first!"

Sorry if I rambled, but I think you should get out of this engagement. Sooner or later, that "agent" (if he really is one!) is going to start convincing her that she could be the next porn queen, but that "prude" she's engaged to is trying to hold her back and crush her dream.


----------



## bluebird20 (Feb 7, 2011)

Hey OP, does she have any qualities that brought you to her to begin with? I am finding it hard to believe this is all so sudden and unlike her. How long were you together and how long have you been engaged? I can't imagine many men that would be happy to be married to a porn star unless your a Hugh Hefner type, heck he probably wouldn't even be because he doesn't mind having a lot of girls but expects them all to want only him (yuck). Yes I am digressing too. Anyway don't be too heartbroken. Be thankful like everyone is saying that it didn't happen after the marriage. She really doesn't sound like any kind of prize what so ever unless you have no morals and value only looks.


----------



## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

No, BB, I disagree. She had these qualities all along and the clue is: she wants to be a Porn Star. There is probably a TON of stuff the fiance does not know, including terrible sexual abuse and goodness knows what else in her past. She has been living two lives--the sweet, docile loveable person he knew, and the damaged child life whose twisted vision of "success" is being a Porn Star. I believe she is probably VERY unstable and the OP is getting a real look at who she is, and he must, for his own happiness, move on. 

The EEs are just the tip of an iceberg that says "There is something really wrong with me." IT will be her life's work to figure out what--but her behavior says, she either doesn't even realize how screwed up her actions appear, or she doesn't care. She is unaware that she needs help. 

Too bad the plastic surgeon didn't insist on counseling before agreeing to perform this surgery. But then, if she got a good look ata herself, she might choose not to do it and he'd be out of $$.


----------



## leej64 (Feb 28, 2011)

Hi,

I know the porn industry very well and what is happening to your relationship is not uncommon nowadays unfortunately.

you're fiancee, or soon to be fiancee, has admitted to you she knew exactly what she was doing when she had her boobs done to that size - she wanted the porn look, as they call it. 

She has since realised, firstly by the attention she recieved from guys out in bars and clubs, and secondly after meeting her agent at the end of last year, that she now has a body that is going to take her in a new direction in her life. 

As is the case with modern society in general, she is now an object of desire for a certain type of male and the person you once had a relationship with has gone, and replaced by a woman that wants and needs to be desired by these men.

It is only a matter of time before she moves into porn, it's sooner rather than later. She clearly has her heart (rightly or wrongly) set on becoming a porn queen and as a previous post said, once she dips her toe in the porn world she will quickly become immersed in the life. 

I suppose its natural to blame the agent she has met on influencing her, but all he has done is meet a woman with the look he knows will sell, and hit the jackpot when he found out she wanted him to guide her into the world of porn.

Of course she is now spending alot of time with him. Alot of agents are charismatic and woo their clients. When you put together an agent who has a very hot girl with potential, with a willing and wide eyed new porn model who wants to make it in the industry then what do you expect?!!!!! you're surely not naive enough to think its all innocent are you OP?


----------



## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Wow i nailed this one early. Dude you gotta bail before this train hits the terminal. NOTHING good can come of your relationship at this point. You gotta run before she starts posing for pics, before she has to do a "casting couch." There's a reason why so few of these chicks actually have stable relationships and go on to be married prior to 35 years old, no sane guy can deal with this.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I wonder what happens when she someday realizes a cold fact: porn queens do not win Oscars.


----------



## leej64 (Feb 28, 2011)

It's a curious post this one and maybe if the OP is ever back on here he maybe can provide an update on his relationship with his fiancee?


----------



## darrenj1985 (Feb 23, 2011)

She moved out of the house a couple of weeks ago telling me she needed to have a think about everything and needed some space.

I haven't heard from her since and have text her a few times but had very little response. 

My understanding, from people who are close to her, is she is living at her agents place, and they are an item and she doesnt want to tell me yet because she is worried how upset i will be.


----------



## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

Kiss her goodbye. 

She's probably hooked on the agent now. 

If you have any of her family - let them know. 

An intervention may work. I doubt it though. 

She will probably be hooked on drugs by now too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Wonder what happens to her when the porn industry uses her and then throws her out when a few wrinkles come into play.
Oh, yeah-those are the ones you see on "Cops" with sores all over their faces and half their teeth missing.
Darren, you ain't gonna take her back, are you?


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Look there's a lot that's legit in the porn industry. They don't all become suicidal junkies. But it's what it is. If you don't want any part of it you have to decide. If your wife decided she wanted to be a sea captain, would you stick around?


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I'm sorry for the out come, but on a happy note, you can always say that you almost married a porn star.

If your ex fiancee does make it big you can pat your self on the back know you had "that"

Remember its not how we get knocked down that matters, its how we get back up that counts.

Good luck in moving on. She has her own agenda and you have yours now.

Some day when she is old...she will be sitting alone in a house ful of cats, thinking of the man that could have brought her happiness. Instead she choose the fanasy of fame.


----------



## Ronin (Mar 18, 2011)

Surprised this thread went on for 2 pages... she gets a ridiculous breast enlargement (small frame up to EE) and then starts going out with new women (who are as bad as men) and other guys. Then shes taking topless photos for a "porn agent". And you actually bothered to post about it. She would have been erased from my life as soon as she changed after the surgery. The fact that this thread didn't die immediately due to decisive action shows the state of men in our country. Time to toughen up gentlemen or forever be cuckolded, lied to, laughed at, disrespected, used, offended, and abandoned.

Ronin


----------



## Irish1985 (Jan 28, 2011)

I have to agree with Ronin on this one. I can put up with some S*** but thats way too far. If my wife did that or had done it while we were engaged she would have hit the curb. No bueno nacho dude.


----------



## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Let her go bro, don't reach out any more. She might make it fully into the biz.. and then she might not. Not everyone turns into the next Jenna Jameson. My brother shoots starlets for his adult site, i hear the stories. Most of these chicks aren't truly happy, they are on drugs. They wake up 1 day and realize they are 35 years old, still in the biz, and don't have a regular lifestyle that would put them in position to marry a regular guy. So there goes the chances at marriage and a family. If she's lucky, she'll hit the biz too quickly and see how this can use her up fast, and she'll come running back to you. Its up to you if you leave the door open for her... i wouldn't.


----------



## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

I know a guy who paid for his wifes boob job. Few months later she left him.

I know of many, many, men who say "I refuse to pay or allow a boob job for someone esle to be able to pull on them"


----------

