# No real challenge... suss?



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Need some advice from blokes here, as you know I'm seperated/dating:

I've always been a suspicious one, but I've learnt to try to give people the benefit of the doubt, act clueless until they betray me, but when they do, I already have my eggs out of the basket.

Take for instance my recent date, she was checking me out for a few months everytime I walked into the laundry, while I thought she was just being a rude starer. Regardless, she turned out to be very confident, even with her strange game. She's only ever seen me in business attire prior to our date, and I no longer have my sh-tbox to drive around and instead continue driving my Maxima that I owned since marriage, which isn't exactly extravagant sure, but I would have prefered to drive my old sh-tbox for dating. If anything, guess I may have already come across as financially stable.

That's bad.

Not to mention despite the initial awkwardness of our first date, my recent date remained quite cozy... no real challenge to impress. Hell she even asked me out 2 days later which I rejected as my weekends are committed to my daughter.

As such, she may indeed have a hidden agenda; aka materialism which is quite common in this city. Now sure, I'm confident with myself, but I don't like to have too big a head, even if I joke around as if I do - I'm a realist; I know I'm no Johnny Depp.

But that also makes me paranoid. What I ask is this: Am I being paranoid? It just seems... too easy. If she wasn't attractive then I guess I would be less suss, but something just feels off. But it could be just me, thoughts?

I can easily friendzone her this week and come up with any number of understandable excuses; ex/daughter/etc etc, and it would save me and her the trouble. And at the very least I would have also got rid of the awkward staring whenever I popped in to do my laundry.

My last date outside of meetup.com was more of a challenge so I wasn't so suss. This one... meh, I never trust anyone who wants to be close to me so fast, but maybe I am just paranoid? Thoughts?


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

I don't know man. I am a fellow Aussie, BTW and a male.

Yes, hidden agendas. Too easy to impress. 2 days later. You are well-to-do. Confident. From what I can gather, a great catch.

Mind your back, bro. Don't ignore the Red Flags.


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Well,you already have doubts about her reasons for going out with you.Why did she wait so long?

You could continue to date and this way you could really learn more
if her reasons are because she likes you for you.

Maybe shes been burned also in a relationship.
You have no real risk if you don't sleep with her or move in together.

It can take a long time to really get to know someone.
I say be careful but give her a chance.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

And I thought I was being paranoid... ha!

The reputation of the folk here in Sydney is notorious for materialism. STBX was one exception, but hell, need all 3 eyes open. Oh well think I'll just play along and see what happens, and keep my wallet where it's safe!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

nevergveup said:


> Well,you already have doubts about her reasons for going out with you.Why did she wait so long?


Might ask her that next date actually, cause it's really suss.



> You could continue to date and this way you could really learn more
> if her reasons are because she likes you for you.
> 
> Maybe shes been burned also in a relationship.
> ...


Thanks, I'll do that, glad I'm not being paranoid, just cautious right?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Sure, it's great to be a little cautious. But if you're going to weed out prospective partners because they aren't challenging enough for you, can you change your avatar back to the "Drama King" one? Because it really sounds like you're not getting enough drama in your life.

C


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Meh, I like my cat instead 
Besides how am I inviting drama by being cautious?


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

Dude,

A man has to look out for Number 1. Any possible signs of Red Flags, and I mean anything, you remove yourself from the situation.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Heh, her ethnic background is a red flag by itself, but that just makes me racist lol (even if I am attracted to her features)

She speaks perfect english though, so she's probably already been here a while, maybe on PR status, hmmm... actually might ask that on the next date too. Doubt she's illegal, most illegal ones stick to their communities and don't speak a word of english.

But fk you never know eh mate?


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

No man. You never know. Be careful, bro.

Keep that guard up.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Then again, her mum owns her own joint at the laundry, so I dunno. Still she could have been 'imported', fk I don't know how the immigration system works lol

Funny to think about though


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

hmmm. her family owns a business that she works. 

you come in, looking successful.

she thinks "this damn city, the people are materialistic. look, here's one that is successful already, not just looking for someone to mooch off of"

and she's willing to date you because of that.

maybe, you and she have a work ethic in common, and she's excited about that? you've said it's hard to find a date that isn't after your money....


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> "this damn city, the people are materialistic. look, here's one that is successful already, not just looking for someone to mooch off of"


Heh is it just me, or is that just freakin ironic? lol

Quite frankly if I knew I was going to get a date at the laundry I would have changed into casual. And hell the only reason I bought a maxima in the past was because my daughter used to cry everytime in my sh-tbox when she was a babe. Otherwise I probably would still be driving a sh-tbox.

I guess I just like to find someone who I could trust would be there for me if I didn't have all my fancy crap, like STBX proved herself to be. I hate to keep comparing but this is a tough standard to break.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Meh, I like my cat instead
> Besides how am I inviting drama by being cautious?


It's one thing to be cautious. It's another thing to automatically write off any potential partner just because she's not being hard to get. Sometimes, people who fit easily in your life are simply compatible. It doesn't mean they all have ulterior motives on your money. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well, I admit sometimes I'm the type of person that when good things happen to me without strings attached I call BULLSH-T! lol

Survival mechanism I guess


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

Paranoid and looking to sabotage yourself.

Maxima and going to the laundry are hardly gold-digger 'tells' they look for. Hell, even her checking you out was misinterpreted as something "bad". Loosen up a bit and learn to enjoy life.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

True, it's not like I rocked up in a limo or had attendants or some crap lol

Meh, guess I'm just thinking too much... it just feels off, that's all


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> True, it's not like I rocked up in a limo or had attendants or some crap lol
> 
> Meh, guess I'm just thinking too much... it just feels off, that's all


Feels off? Red Flag. 

Walk away man.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Racer said:


> Paranoid and looking to sabotage yourself.
> 
> Maxima and going to the laundry are hardly gold-digger 'tells' they look for. Hell, even her checking you out was misinterpreted as something "bad". Loosen up a bit and learn to enjoy life.


Indeed. This guy is living in some kind of Eddie Murphy/Coming to America fantasy (or Dan Akroyd in Trading Places, if you prefer) -- "Only the lady who loves me as a pauper can be trusted." It's a bunch of BS. What kind of woman wouldn't care at least a little bit if you were financially stable? If you had a choice between two identical women except one was $150K in debt and no job and the other one was financially self-sufficient, wouldn't you choose the latter?


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

PBear said:


> It's one thing to be cautious. It's another thing to automatically write off any potential partner just because she's not being hard to get. Sometimes, people who fit easily in your life are simply compatible.


That's a very simplistic view IMHO.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Meh, I like my cat instead


Ha ha!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's rather difficult when STBX was indeed someone who was with me when I was nothing, she's an annoyance in the back of my mind really. This, combined with the relative ease of the date, I question intentions. Yes, I shouldn't be comparing, don't see how not to however.

I'm still taking her out and getting to know her more, don't get me wrong. I'm keep my eggs outta the basket for now though


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Trust your spidey sense's tingling.


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